l'm'n's stomach, and for a moment doubles him right up vith the
pain. Murder! says the old gen'l'm'n. All right, sir, says the pickpocket, a
wisperin' in his ear. And wen he come straight agin, the watch and chain was
gone, and what's worse than that, the old gen'l'm'n's digestion was all wrong
ever artervards, to the wery last day of his life; so just you look about you,
young feller, and take care you don't get too fat.«
    As Mr. Weller concluded this moral tale, with which the fat boy appeared
much affected, they all three repaired to the large kitchen, in which the family
were by this time assembled, according to annual custom on Christmas eve,
observed by old Wardle's forefathers from time immemorial.
    From the centre of the ceiling of this kitchen, old Wardle had just
suspended, with his own hands, a huge branch of mistletoe, and this same branch
of mistletoe instantaneously gave rise to a scene of general and delightful
struggling and confusion; in the midst of which. Mr. Pickwick, with a gallantry
that would have done honour to a descendant of Lady Tollimglower herself, took
the old lady by the hand, led her beneath the mystic branch, and saluted her in
all courtesy and decorum. The old lady submitted to this piece of practical
politeness with all the dignity which befitted so important and serious a
solemnity, but the younger ladies, not being so thoroughly imbued with a
superstitious veneration for the custom: or imagining that the value of a salute
is very much enhanced if it cost a little trouble to obtain it: screamed and
struggled, and ran into corners, and threatened and remonstrated, and did
everything but leave the room, until some of the less adventurous gentlemen were
on the point of desisting, when they all at once found it useless to resist any
longer, and submitted to be kissed with a good grace. Mr. Winkle kissed the
young lady with the black eyes, and Mr. Snodgrass kissed Emily, and Mr. Weller,
not being particular about the form of being under the mistletoe, kissed Emma
and the other female servants, just as he caught them. As to the poor relations,
they kissed everybody, not even excepting the plainer portions of the young-lady
visitors, who, in their excessive confusion, ran right under the mistletoe, as
soon as it was hung up, without knowing it! Wardle stood with his back to
