 Assembly was dividing into Pairs and chatty Parties, a Phenomenon entered that drew all their Attention. The Honourable Major
Gromley,
the lustiest and fattest young Man in the Kingdom, advanced without a Mask, in Petticoats, a slobbering Bib and Apron. He carried a large Round of Bread and Butter in one Hand, while Lady
Betsy M
nit,
an elderly Miss of about three Feet high, held his Leading Strings with her Left and, in her Right, brandished a Birch Rod of lengthened Authority. His Governante pressed him forward and seemed to threaten Chastisement for his Delay; while the jolly, broad, foolish, humourous, half laughing, half crying, Baby Face of the Major extorted Peals of Laughter from All who were present. And this is sufficient to convince us that the Performers of the ancient Drama could not possibly, in Masks, excite the Passions of Nature. No Excellence of Voice or Gesture, of Action or Emphasis, could compensate for the Exclusion of the immediate Interpreters of the Soul, the living Speech of the Eye, and varied Expression of the Countenance.
After the Major had leisurely traversed the full length of the Room, and inimitably executed the Whole of his Part, he retired to undress and assume a new Appearance.
Mean while, two Females entered in very unusal Habits. The First was dressed in a choice Collection of old
English
and
Scotch
Ballads, from Chevy Chase and the Fragment of Hardy
Canute,
down to
Barbara Allen
and the Babes in the Wood. The Other was all hung from Top to Bottom with Looking-glasses.
Immediately the Crowd gathered about them. All, who were fond of their own History, preferable to that of Others, paid their Homage, in a circling Throng, to the Queen of the Looking-glasses. While the Few who preferred Instruction were intent in perusing the Fair who was covered with Knowledge. But, the Lady of the Mirrors did not long retain her Votaries; her Glasses were all Emblems of her own Disposition, they were the Glasses of Scandal and Calumny, and represented the human Species in the most distorted View; Some lengthened and Some widened their Objects
Measure, while Others wholly in
and turned them topsy turvy. All
away in Disgust from such Prospects or their own Persons, and the reflecting Lady was justly lest to glitter apart from Society.
The next who entered was a
Goliah,
all sheathed in compleat Steel. He advanced with slow and majestic Steps to the Sideboard, and asking for a Flask of Champain, turned it down without taking it once from his Head. He then demanded Another, and Another, and
