 Knowledge of my narrow Circumstances.
How to remedy this Evil; how to procure an Interest in the
Golden Idol before whom all Nations and Languages fall prostrate,
was the Question.
I found myself in a World where a Genius for Pimping; or a Genius for Knavery was indispensably necessary to the Acquisition of Favour. I was so unfortunate as to want Talents for those valuable Purposes. I could not even betray an Enemy, to serve a Friend. I therefore found myself excluded from the Patrons of the present Age, as I could neither contribute to the Modes of their Interest or the Modes of their Pleasure.
At length, I thought upon the Stratagem that surprised you. It requires no greater Art, said I to myself, than to be wise and humble, wise enough to acquiesce in being deemed a Fool, and humble enough to submit as a Footstool, for others to raise themselves, in their own Opinion, and in the Eyes of the Company.
My Project succeeded beyond Expectation. I was admitted to an Intimacy with the Chiefs of the Land. My Company was coveted and sought by all the Great; and happy was the Peer who could boast, to his Visitants, he should have
Faddle
to Supper.
Mean Time, I was by no Means a Jest for all. I knew how to turn the Ridicule upon such of your middling Gentry as presumed to laugh like their Betters; and I never failed to pull down those from whose Interest or Favour I had nothing to expect.
I had a Number of these Right Honourable Patrons, each of whom would gladly have engrossed me to himself. They all contributed to make me relish the Jest. Independent of very considerable Presents, they have procured me some pretty Sinecures to the amount of about six hundred Pounds a Year. So that you see Mr.
Sneer,
I am now in a fair Way of being enabled to fee others to permit me, in my Turn, to laugh at them.
I do not feel in myself, said Mr.
Fenton,
a thorough Approbation of this Gentleman's Character. There is something unamiable in every Species of Imposition; and even the Merit of Mr.
Faddle
's Humility receives great Alloy from its Disingenuity. His good Sense however is laudable, since his Intention was innocent, with Respect to the Persons upon whom he practised his Stratagem. Does he bring up the Rear of your Visitants, Lady
Maitland?
No, said the Countess, we have Lady
Homespun,
with an
et cetera
of no Characters, yet to come.  �  
Homespun!
exclaimed Lady
Cribbage,
upon my Word, the
