, I do aver,
that Gosling Scrag Esq; is at this day the best milch-cow that any author ever
stroaked: for, over and above his vanity, which lays him open to the necessities
of all writers who can tickle, though never so awkwardly, he possesses such a
comfortable share of simplicity, or rather lack of penetration, as cannot fail
to turn to account with those who practise upon it. Let a scribbler (for
example) creep into his notice by the most abject veneration, implore his
judgment upon some performance, assume a look of awful admiration at his
remarks, receive and read his emendations with pretended extasy, exert himself
officiously about his person, make interest to be employed in running upon his
errands, bawl for him upon all occasions in common conversation, prose and
rhime, sit in presence of this great man, with an apparent sense of his own
nothingness, and when he opens his mouth, listen with a foolish face of praise;
happy! if he has an opportunity to feed him with the soft pap of dedication, or
by affecting an idiotical ignorance of the manners of life, to insinuate himself
into his opinion, as a person absolutely detached from all worldly pursuits;
like a sly brother of the quill, who, in going out, dropped a bank note upon the
floor of his apartment, in such a manner, as that it could not escape the notice
of Gosling, who viewing it accordingly, Heavens! (said he, with his hands and
eyes lifted up) what philosophical contempt must that man have for the pleasures
of wealth! Yes, I insist upon it, these are arts which will never fail to engage
the friendship of Mr. Scrag, which will be sooner or later manifested in some
warm sine-cure, ample subscription, post or reversion; and I advise Mr. Spondy
to give him the refusal of this same pastoral: who knows but he may have the
good fortune of being listed in the number of his beef-eaters: in which case he
may, in process of time, be provided for in the customs or church; when he is
inclined to marry his own cook-wench, his gracious patron may condescend to give
the bride away; and finally settle him in his old age, as a trading
Westminster-justice.«
    Mr. Spondy thanked the president for his wholesome counsel, which he assured
him should not be neglected; and the evening being far advanced, the assembly
broke up, without any other remarkable occurrence.
 

                                  Chapter CIII

The young Gentleman is introduced to a Virtuoso of the first Order
