Egad! 'tis my opinion, that if your
covered way was laid open, few people would venture to give the assault.« »Not
unless their batteries were more effectual than the fire of your wit,« (said the
president.) »As for that matter, (cried the other with precipitation) they would
have no occasion to batter in breach; they would find the angle of the la
pucelle bastion demolished to their hands: he he!« »But I believe it would
surpass your understanding, (resumed the chairman) to fill up the fossè.« »That,
I own, is impracticable, (replied the bard) there I should meet with an hiatus
maxime deflendus!«
    The president, exasperated at this insinuation, in presence of the new
member, exclaimed with indignation in his looks, »And yet, if a body of pioneers
were set at work upon your skull, they would find rubbish enough to choak up all
the common sewers in town.« Here a groan was uttered by the admirers of the epic
poet, who taking a pinch of snuff with great composure, »When a man grows
scurrilous, (said he) I take it for an undoubted proof of his overthrow.« »If
that be the case, (cried the other) you yourself must be the vanquished party;
for you was the first that was driven to personal abuse.« »I appeal (answered
the bard) to those who can distinguish. Gentlemen, your judgment?«
    This reference produced an universal clamour, and the whole college was
involved in confusion. Every man entered into dispute with his neighbour, on the
merits of this cause. The chairman interposed his authority in vain; the noise
grew louder and louder; the disputants waxed warm; the epithets of blockhead,
fool, and scoundrel were bandied about. Peregrine enjoyed the uproar, and
leaping upon the table, sounded the charge to battle, which was immediately
commenced in ten different duels; in consequence of which, the lights were
extinguished; the combatants threshed one another without distinction; the
mischievous Pickle distributed sundry random blows in the dark; and the people
below, being alarmed with the sound of application, the over-turning of chairs,
and the outcries of those who were engaged, came up stairs in a body, with
lights, to reconnoitre, and, if possible, quell this hideous tumult.
    Objects were no sooner rendered visible, than the field of battle exhibited
strange groups of the standing and the fallen. Each of Mr. Metaphor's eyes was
surrounded with a circle of a
