 not help despising those that offered it, not one of them was sent away,
unowned by his munificence. He began to think himself, in good earnest, that
superior genius which their flattery had described; he cultivated acquaintance
with the wits of fashion, and even composed in secret a number of bons mots,
which he uttered in company as the impromptu's of his imagination. In this
practice indeed, he imitated some of the most renowned geniuses of the age, who
(if the truth were known) have laboured in secret, with the sweat of their
brows, for many a repartee which they have vended as the immediate production of
fancy and expression. He was so successful in this exercise of his talents, that
his fame actually came in competition with that of a great man, who had long sat
at the helm of wit; and in a dialogue that once happened between them, on the
subject of a cork-screw, wherein the altercation was discharged (according to
Bayes) slap for slap, dash for dash, our hero was judged to have the better of
his lordship, by some of the minor satellites, that commonly surround and
reflect the rays of such mighty luminaries.
    In a word, he dipped himself so far in these literary amusements, that he
took the management of the pit into his direction, putting himself at the head
of those critics who call themselves the town; and in that capacity chastised
several players, who had been rendered insolent and refractory by unmerited
success. As for the new productions of the stage, though generally unspirited
and insipid, they always enjoyed the benefit of his influence and protection;
because he never disliked the performance so much as he sympathized with the
poor author, who stood behind the scenes in the most dreadful suspence,
trembling, as it were, on the very brink of damnation: yet, though he extended
his generosity and compassion to the humble and needy, he never let slip one
opportunity of mortifying villainy and arrogance. Had the executive power of the
legislature been vested in him, he would have doubtless devised strange species
of punishment for all offenders against humanity and decorum; but, restricted as
he was, he employed his invention in subjecting them to the ridicule and
contempt of their fellow-subjects.
    It was with that view he set on foot the scheme of conjuration, which was
still happily carried on, and made use of the intelligence of his friend
Cadwallader; though he sometimes converted this advantage to the purposes of
gallantry, being (as the reader may have perceived) of a very amorous
complexion. He not only acted
