 wanted nothing but a pair of whiskers and a beard to
exhibit the express image of the Fleming's countenance. He told them, he was so
proud of this resemblance, that in order to render it more striking, he had at
one time of his life resolved to keep his face sacred from the razor; and in
that purpose had persevered, notwithstanding the continual reprehensions of Mrs.
Pallet, who being then with child, said, his aspect was so hideous, that she
dreaded a miscarriage every hour, until she threatened, in plain terms, to
dispute the sanity of his intellects, and apply to the chancellor for a
committee.
    The doctor on his occasion observed, that a man who is not proof against the
solicitations of a woman, can never expect to make a great figure in life; that
painters and poets ought to cultivate no wives but the muses; or if they are, by
the accidents of fortune, incumbered with families, they should carefully guard
against that pernicious weakness, falsely honoured with the appellation of
natural affection, and pay no manner of regard to the impertinent customs of the
world. »Granting that you had been for a short time deemed a lunatic, (said he)
you might have acquitted yourself honourably of that imputation, by some
performance that would have raised your character above all censure. Sophocles
himself, that celebrated tragic poet, who for the sweetness of his
versification, was stiled melitta, or the bee, in his old age suffered the same
accusation from his own children, who seeing him neglect his family affairs, and
devote himself intirely to poetry, carried him before the magistrate, as a man
whose intellects were so much impaired by the infirmities of age, that he was no
longer fit to manage his domestic concerns; upon which the reverend bard
produced his tragedy of Oidipoys epi Kolono, as a work he had just finished;
which being perused, instead of being declared unsound of understanding, he was
dismissed with admiration and applause. I wish your beard and whiskers had been
sanctioned by the like authority; though I am afraid you would have been in the
predicament of those disciples of a certain philosopher, who drank decoctions of
cummin-seeds, that their faces might adopt the paleness of their master's
complexion, hoping, that in being as wan, they would be as learned as their
teacher.« The painter, stung with this sarcasm, replied, »or like those
Virtuosi, who by repeating Greek, eating sillikickaby, and pretending to see
visions, think they equal the ancients in taste and genius.« The physician
retorted
