 at least for this duty, which would have been more than sufficient to remove
this shocking inconvenience: But, perhaps, the general was too much of a
gentleman to ask a favour of this kind from his fellow-chief, who on the other
hand, would not derogate so far from his own dignity, as to offer such
assistance unasked; for I may venture to affirm, that by this time, the Dæmon of
discord with her sooty wings, had breathed her influence upon our counsels; and
it might be said of these great men, (I hope they will pardon the comparison) as
of Cæsar and Pompey, the one could not brook a superior, and the other was
impatient of an equal: So that between the pride of one, and insolence of
another, the enterprize miscarried, according to the proverb, »Between two
stools the backside falls to the ground.« - Not that I would be thought to liken
any publick concern to that opprobrious part of the human body, although I might
with truth assert, if I durst use such a vulgar idiom, that the nation did hang
an a - se at its disappointment on this occasion; neither would I presume to
compare the capacity of our heroic leaders to any such wooden convenience as a
joint-stool or a close-stool; but only signify by this simile, the mistake the
people committed in trusting to the union of two instruments that were never
joined.
    A day or two after the attempt on St. Lazar, the admiral ordered one of the
Spanish men of war we had taken, to be mounted with sixteen guns, and manned
with detachments from our great ships, in order to batter the town; accordingly,
she was towed into the inner harbour in the night-time, and moored within half a
mile of the walls, against which she began to fire at day-break; and continued
about four hours exposed to the opposition of at least forty pieces of cannon,
which at length obliged our men to set her on fire, and get off as well as they
could, in their boats. - This piece of conduct afforded matter of speculation to
all the wits, either in the army or the navy, who were at last fain to
acknowledge it a stroke of policy above their comprehension. - Some entertained
such an irreverent opinion of the admiral's understanding, as to think he
expected the town would surrender to his floating battery of sixteen guns:
Others imagined his sole intention was to try the enemy's strength, by which he
would be able to compute the number of great
