 discretion, that I soon succeeded; and as soon as
decency would permit (of which this lady was the strictest observer) we were
married, being the second day of the second week of the second year after her
husband's death; for she said she thought some period of time above the year had
a great air of decorum.«
    »But, prudent as this lady was, she made me miserable. Her person was far
from being lovely, but her temper was intolerable. During fifteen years'
habitation, I never passed a single day without heartily cursing her, and the
hour in which we came together. The only comfort I received, in the midst of the
highest torments, was from continually hearing the prudence of my match
commended by all my acquaintance.«
    »Thus you see, in the affairs of love, I bought the reputation of wisdom
pretty dear. In other matters I had it somewhat cheaper; not that hypocrisy,
which was the price I gave for it, gives one no pain. I have refused myself a
thousand little amusements with a feigned contempt, while I have really had an
inclination to them. I have often almost choaked myself to restrain from
laughing at a jest, and (which was perhaps to myself the least hurtful of all my
hypocrisy) have heartily enjoyed a book in my closet which I have spoken with
detestation of in public. To sum up my history in short, as I had few adventures
worth remembering, my whole life was one constant lie; and happy would it have
been for me if I could as thoroughly have imposed on myself as I did on others:
for reflection, at every turn, would often remind me I was not so wise as people
thought me; and this considerably embittered the pleasure I received from the
public commendation of my wisdom. This self-admonition, like a memento mori or
mortalis es, must be, in my opinion, a very dangerous enemy to flattery: indeed,
a weight sufficient to counterbalance all the false praise of the world. But
whether it be that the generality of wise men do not reflect at all, or whether
they have, from a constant imposition on others, contracted such a habit of
deceit as to deceive themselves, I will not determine: it is, I believe, most
certain that very few wise men know themselves what fools they are, more than
the world doth. Good gods! could one but see what passes in the closet of
wisdom! how ridiculous a sight must it be to behold the wise man, who despises
gratifying his palate, devouring custard
