 my work when I
worked by the foot, as well as my laziness when I was employed by the day. On
which account, when I attempted to pass, the angry judge laid hold on me by the
shoulders, and turned me back so violently, that, had I had a neck of flesh and
bone, I believe he would have broke it.«
 

                                Chapter Thirteen

                           Julian passes into a fop.

My scene of action was Rome. I was born into a noble family, and heir to a
considerable fortune. On which my parents, thinking I should not want any
talents, resolved very kindly and wisely to throw none away upon me. The only
instructors of my youth were therefore one Saltator, who taught me several
motions for my legs; and one Ficus, whose business was to shew me the cleanest
way (as he called it) of cutting off a man's head. When I was well accomplished
in these sciences, I thought nothing more wanting, but what was to be furnished
by the several mechanics in Rome, who dealt in dressing and adorning the pope.
Being therefore well equipped with all which their art could produce, I became
at the age of twenty a complete finished beau. And now during forty-five years I
drest, I sang and danced, and danced and sang, I bowed and ogled, and ogled and
bowed, till, in the sixty-sixth year of my age, I got cold by overheating myself
with dancing, and died.
    »Minos told me, as I was unworthy of Elysium, so I was too insignificant to
be damned, and therefore bad me walk back again.«
 

                                Chapter Fourteen

                      Adventures in the person of a monk.

Fortune now placed me in the character of a younger brother of a good house, and
I was in my youth sent to school; but learning was now at so low an ebb, that my
master himself could hardly construe a sentence of Latin; and as for Greek, he
could not read it. With very little knowledge therefore, and with altogether as
little virtue, I was set apart for the church, and at the proper age commenced
monk. I lived many years retired in a cell, a life very agreeable to the
gloominess of my temper, which was much inclined to despise the world; that is,
in other words, to envy all men of superior fortune and qualifications, and in
general to hate and detest the human species. Notwithstanding which, I could, on
proper occasions, submit to flatter the vilest fellow in nature, which I did one
Stephen, an
