 Posteriors; to take
a strict View of their Excrements, and from the Colour, the Odour, the Taste,
the Consistence, the Crudeness, or Maturity of Digestion, form a Judgment of
their Thoughts and Designs: Because Men are never so serious, thoughtful, and
intent, as when they are at Stool; which he found by frequent Experiment: For in
such Conjunctures, when he used merely as a Trial to consider which was the best
Way of murdering the King, his Ordure would have a Tincture of Green; but quite
different when he thought only of raising an Insurrection, or burning the
Metropolis.
    The whole Discourse was written with great Acuteness, containing many
Observations both curious and useful for Politicians, but as I conceived not
altogether compleat. This I ventured to tell the Author, and offered if he
pleased to supply him with some Additions. He received my Proposition with more
Compliance than is usual among Writers, especially those of the Projecting
Species; professing he would be glad to receive farther Information.
    I told him, that in the Kingdom of Tribnia, by the Natives called Langden,
where I had long sojourned, the Bulk of the People consisted wholly of
Discoverers, Witnesses, Informers, Accusers, Prosecutors, Evidences, Swearers;
together with their several subservient and subaltern Instruments; all under the
Colours, the Conduct, and pay of Ministers and their Deputies. The Plots in that
Kingdom are usually the Workmanship of those Persons who desire to raise their
own Characters of profound Politicians; to restore new Vigour to a crazy
Administration; to stifle or divert general Discontents; to fill their Coffers
with Forfeitures; and raise or sink the Opinion of publick Credit, as either
shall best answer their private Advantage. It is first agreed and settled among
them, what suspected Persons shall be accused of a Plot: Then, effectual Care is
taken to secure all their Letters and other Papers, and put the Owners in
Chains. These Papers are delivered to a Set of Artists very dextrous in finding
out the mysterious Meanings of Words, Syllables and Letters. For Instance, they
can decypher a Close-stool to signify a Privy-Council; a Flock of Geese, a
Senate; a lame Dog, an Invader; the Plague, a standing Army; a Buzard, a
Minister; the Gout, a High Priest; a Gibbet, a Secretary of State; a Chamber
pot, a Committee of Grandees; a Sieve a Court Lady; a Broom, a Revolution; a
Mouse-trap, an Employment; a bottomless Pit, the Treasury; a Sink, a C-t; a
