 - in saying it, I mention it only to
shew the learned, I know the fact myself. --
    That this Ambrose Paræus was chief surgeon and nose-mender to Francis the
ninth of France, and in high credit with him and the two preceding, or
succeeding kings (I know not which) - and that except in the slip he made in his
story of Taliacotius's noses, and his manner of setting them on, -- was esteemed
by the whole college of physicians at that time, as more knowing in matters of
noses, than any one who had ever taken them in hand.
    Now Ambrose Paræus convinced my father, that the true and efficient cause of
what had engaged so much the attention of the world, and upon which Prignitz and
Scroderus had wasted so much learning and fine parts, - was neither this nor
that, -- but that the length and goodness of the nose was owing simply to the
softness and flaccidity in the nurse's breast, -- as the flatness and shortness
of puisne noses was, to the firmness and elastic repulsion of the same organ of
nutrition in the hale and lively, - which, tho' happy for the woman, was the
undoing of the child, inasmuch as his nose was so snubb'd, so rebuff'd, so
rebated, and so refrigerated thereby, as never to arrive ad mensuram suam
legitimam; -- but that in case of the flaccidity and softness of the nurse or
mother's breast, - by sinking into it, quoth Paræus, as into so much butter, the
nose was comforted, nourish'd, plump'd up, refresh'd, refocillated, and set a
growing for ever.
    I have but two things to observe of Paræus; first, that he proves and
explains all this with the utmost chastity and decorum of expression: - for
which may his soul for ever rest in peace!
    And, secondly, that besides the systems of Prignitz and Scroderus, which
Ambrose Paræus his hypothesis effectually overthrew, - it overthrew at the same
time the system of peace and harmony of our family; and for three days together,
not only embroiled matters between my father and my mother, but turn'd likewise
the whole house and every thing in it, except my uncle Toby, quite upside down.
    Such a ridiculous tale of a dispute between a man and his wife, never surely
in any age or country got vent through the key-hole of a street-door!
    My mother, you must know, -- but I have fifty things more
