 would not have uttered the words that drew it down on him. Men do
not become penitent and learn to abhor themselves by having their backs cut open
with the lash; rather, they learn to abhor the lash. What Jermyn felt about Mrs
Transome when she disappeared was, that she was a furious woman - who would not
do what he wanted her to do. And he was supported as to his justifiableness by
the inward repetition of what he had already said to her: it was right that
Harold should know the truth. He did not take into account (how should he?) the
exasperation and loathing excited by his daring to urge the plea of right. A man
who had stolen the pyx, and got frightened when justice was at his heels, might
feel the sort of penitence which would induce him to run back in the dark and
lay the pyx where the sexton might find it; but if in doing so he whispered to
the Blessed Virgin that he was moved by considering the sacredness of all
property, and the peculiar sacredness of the pyx, it is not to be believed that
she would like him the better for it. Indeed, one often seems to see why the
saints should prefer candles to words, especially from penitents whose skin is
in danger. Some salt of generosity would have made Jermyn conscious that he had
lost the citizenship which authorised him to plead the right; still more, that
his self-vindication to Mrs Transome would be like the exhibition of a
brand-mark, and only show that he was shame-proof. There is heroism even in the
circles of hell for fellow-sinners who cling to each other in the fiery
whirlwind and never recriminate. But these things, which are easy to discern
when they are painted for us on the large canvas of poetic story, become
confused and obscure even for well-read gentlemen when their affection for
themselves is alarmed by pressing details of actual experience. If their
comparison of instances is active at such times, it is chiefly in showing them
that their own case has subtle distinctions from all other cases, which should
free them from unmitigated condemnation.
    And it was in this way with Matthew Jermyn. So many things were more
distinctly visible to him, and touched him more acutely, than the effect of his
acts or words on Mrs Transome's feelings! In fact - he asked, with a touch of
something that makes us all akin - was it not preposterous, this excess of
feeling on points which he himself did not find powerfully moving? She had
treated him most unreasonably. It would have been
