 the village, in delivering the prize to the author of it, made a warm
speech in which he said that it was by far the most eloquent thing he had ever
listened to, and that Daniel Webster himself might well be proud of it.
    It may be remarked, in passing, that the number of compositions in which the
word beauteous was over-fondled, and human experience referred to as life's
page, was up to the usual average.
    Now the master, mellow almost to the verge of geniality, put his chair
aside, turned his back to the audience, and began to draw a map of America on
the blackboard, to exercise the geography class upon. But he made a sad business
of it with his unsteady hand, and a smothered titter rippled over the house. He
knew what the matter was, and set himself to right it. He sponged out lines and
re-made them; but he only distorted them more than ever, and the tittering was
more pronounced. He threw his entire attention upon his work, now, as if
determined not to be put down by the mirth. He felt that all eyes were fastened
upon him; he imagined he was succeeding, and yet the tittering continued; it
even manifestly increased. And well it might. There was a garret above, pierced
with a scuttle over his head; down through this scuttle came a cat, suspended
around the haunches by a string; she had a rag tied about her head and jaws to
keep her from mewing; as she slowly descended she curved upward and clawed at
the string, she swung downward and clawed at the intangible air. The tittering
rose higher and higher - the cat was within six inches of the absorbed teacher's
head - down, down, a little lower, and she grabbed his wig with her desperate
claws, clung to it and was snatched up into the garret in an instant with her
trophy still in her possession! And how the light did blaze abroad from the
master's bald pate - for the sign-painter's boy had gilded it!
    That broke up the meeting. The boys were avenged. Vacation had come.
 
NOTE - The pretended compositions quoted in this chapter are taken without
alteration from a volume entitled »Prose and Poetry, by a Western Lady« - but
they are exactly and precisely after the school-girl pattern and hence are much
happier than any mere imitations could be.
 

                                   Chapter 22

Tom joined the new order of Cadets of Temperance, being attracted by the showy
character of their regalia. He promised to abstain from smoking
