 still more with his uncle, was a certain oddity of
disposition for which he had been remarkable even from his cradle. It is
reported of him, that before the first year of his infancy was elapsed, he used
very often, immediately after being dressed, in the midst of the caresses which
were bestowed upon him by his mother while she indulged herself in the
contemplation of her own happiness, all of a sudden to alarm her with a fit of
shrieks and cries, which continued with great violence till he was stripped to
the skin with the utmost expedition by order of his affrighted parent, who
thought his tender body was tortured by the misapplication of some unlucky pin;
and when he had given them all this disturbance and unnecessary trouble, he
would lie sprawling and laughing in their faces, as if he ridiculed the
impertinence of their concern. Nay it is affirmed, that one day, when an old
woman who attended in the nursery had by stealth conveyed a bottle of cordial
waters to her mouth, he pulled his nurse by the sleeve, and by a slight glance
detecting the theft, tipt her the wink with a particular slyness of countenance,
as if he had said with a sneer, »Ay, ay, that is what you must all come to.« But
these instances of reflection in a babe nine months old are so incredible, that
I look upon them as ex post facto observations, founded upon imaginary
recollection, when he was in a more advanced age, and his peculiarities of
temper became much more remarkable: of a piece with the ingenious discoveries of
those sagacious observers, who can discern something evidently characteristic in
the features of any noted personage whose character they have previously heard
explained; yet, without pretending to specify at what period of his childhood
this singularity first appeared, I can with great truth declare, that when he
first attracted the notice and affection of his uncle, it was plainly
perceivable.
    One would imagine he had marked out the commodore as a proper object of
ridicule, for almost all his little childish satire was levelled against him. I
will not deny that he might have been influenced in this particular by the
example and instruction of Mr. Hatchway, who delighted in superintending the
first essays of his genius. As the gout had taken up its residence in Mr.
Trunnion's great toe, from whence it never removed, no not for a day, little
Perry took great pleasure in treading by accident on this infirm member; and
when his uncle, incensed by the pain, used to damn him for a hell-begotten brat,
he would appease him
