 to
the purposes of its meeting; namely, to hear the grievances of individuals, and
assist them with salutary advice. The first person that craved redress, was a
noisy North Briton, who complained (in a strange dialect) that he had, in the
beginning of the season, presented a comedy to the manager of a certain theatre,
who, after it had lain six weeks in his hands, returned it to the author,
affirming there was neither sense nor English in the performance.
    The president, (who, by the bye, had revised the piece) thinking his own
reputation concerned, declared, in presence of the whole society, that with
regard to sense, he would not undertake to vindicate the production; but, in
point of language, no fault could be justly laid to its charge: »The case,
however, is very plain, (said he) the manager never gave himself the trouble to
peruse the play, but formed a judgment of it from the conversation of the
author, never dreaming that it had undergone the revisal of an English writer:
be that as it will, you are infinitely obliged to him, for having dispatched you
so soon, and I shall have the better opinion of him for it so long as I live;
for I have known other-guess authors than you (that is, in point of interest and
fame) kept in continual attendance and dependance during the best part of their
lives, and after all, disappointed in the expectation of seeing their
performances exhibited on the stage. There are only two methods, by which you
have any chance of introducing your play upon the theatre; one is compulsive, by
the interposition of the great, whom a patentee dares not disoblige; the other,
insinuation, by ingratiating yourself with the manager: you must be recommended
to his notice; you must cultivate his good graces with all the humility of
adulation; write poems in his praise; if he be an actor, support his performance
against all censure, though it should be founded upon demonstration; and in
public coffee-houses, as well as in private parties, magnify the virtues of his
heart, in despite of truth and illustration. This, indeed, is the most effectual
expedient, and what I advise you to practise, after you shall have been
introduced to his acquaintance, by some person of weight; and if, by these
means, and dint of perseverance, you can, in three or four years, see your
comedy in rehearsal, you may think yourself extremely fortunate in your
application: for a man, without
