 great
Admirer of old illustrious Families, I desired the Governor would call up a
Dozen or two of Kings with their Ancestors in order, for eight or nine
Generations. But my Disappointment was grievous and unexpected. For, instead of
a long Train with Royal Diadems, I saw in one Family two Fidlers, three spruce
Courtiers, and an Italian Prelate. In another, a Barber, an Abbot, and two
Cardinals. I have too great a Veneration for crowned Heads to dwell any longer
on so nice a Subject: But as to Counts, Marquesses, Dukes, Earls, and the like,
I was not so scrupulous. And I confess it was not without some Pleasure that I
found my self able to trace the particular Features, by which certain Families
are distinguished up to their Originals. I could plainly discover from whence
one Family derives a long Chin; why a second hath abounded with Knaves for two
Generations, and Fools for two more; why a third happened to be crack-brained,
and a fourth to be Sharpers. Whence it came, what Polydore Virgil says of a
certain great House, Nec Vir fortis, nec Fæmina Casta. How Cruelty, Falshood,
and Cowardice grew to be Characteristicks by which certain Families are
distinguished as much as by their Coat of Arms. Who first brought the Pox into a
noble House, which hath lineally descended in scrophulous Tumours to their
Posterity. Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an Interruption
of Lineages by Pages, Lacqueys, Valets, Coachmen, Gamesters, Fidlers, Players,
Captains, and Pick-pockets.
    I was chiefly disgusted with modern History. For having strictly examined
all the Persons of greatest Name in the Courts of Princes for an Hundred Years
past, I found how the World had been misled by prostitute Writers, to ascribe
the greatest Exploits in War to Cowards, the wisest Counsel to Fools, Sincerity
to Flatterers, Roman Virtue to Betrayers of their Country, Piety to Atheists,
Chastity to Sodomites, Truth to Informers. How many innocent and excellent
Persons had been condemned to Death or Banishment, by the practising of great
Ministers upon the Corruption of Judges, and the Malice of Factions. How many
Villains had been exalted to the highest Places of Trust, Power, Dignity, and
Profit: How great a Share in the Motions and Events of Courts, Councils, and
Senates might be challenged by Bawds, Whores, Pimps, Parasites, and Buffoons:
How low an Opinion I had of human Wisdom and Integrity, when I was truly
informed of the Springs and Motives of great Enterprizes and Revolutions in the
