 apparently born for no
particular purpose but to save looking-glasses the trouble of reflecting more
than just the first idea and sketchy notion of a face, which had never been
carried out. Then there was a solitary female cousin who was remarkable for
nothing but being very deaf, and living by herself, and always having the
tooth-ache. Then there was George Chuzzlewit, a gay bachelor cousin, who claimed
to be young but had been younger, and was inclined to corpulency, and rather
over-fed himself: to that extent, indeed, that his eyes were strained in their
sockets, as if with constant surprise; and he had such an obvious disposition to
pimples, that the bright spots on his cravat, the rich pattern on his waistcoat,
and even his glittering trinkets, seemed to have broken out upon him, and not to
have come into existence comfortably. Last of all there were present Mr. Chevy
Slyme and his friend Tigg. And it is worthy of remark, that although each person
present disliked the other, mainly because he or she did belong to the family,
they one and all concurred in hating Mr. Tigg because he didn't.
    Such was the pleasant little family circle now assembled in Mr. Pecksniff's
best parlour, agreeably prepared to fall foul of Mr. Pecksniff or anybody else
who might venture to say anything whatever upon any subject.
    »This,« said Mr. Pecksniff rising, and looking round upon them, with folded
hands, »does me good. It does my daughters good. We thank you for assembling
here. We are grateful to you with our whole hearts. It is a blessed distinction
that you have conferred upon us, and believe me:« it is impossible to conceive
how he smiled here: »we shall not easily forget it.«
    »I am sorry to interrupt you, Pecksniff,« remarked Mr. Spottletoe, with his
whiskers in a very portentous state; »but you are assuming too much to yourself,
sir. Who do you imagine has it in contemplation to confer a distinction upon
you, sir?«
    A general murmur echoed this inquiry, and applauded it.
    »If you are about to pursue the course with which you have begun, sir,«
pursued Mr. Spottletoe in a great heat, and giving a violent rap on the table
with his knuckles, »the sooner you desist, and this assembly separates, the
better. I am no stranger, sir, to your preposterous desire to be regarded as the
head of this family, but I can tell you sir -«
