, it was not possible to believe that he
would work in good faith. But by this arrangement he fastened on himself the
burthen of his father's presence, which was made painful not only through his
deepest, longest associations, but also through Lapidoth's restlessness of
temperament, which showed itself the more as he became familiarised with his
situation, and lost any awe he had felt of his son. The fact was, he was putting
a strong constraint on himself in confining his attention for the sake of
winning Deronda's favour; and like a man in an uncomfortable garment he gave
himself relief at every opportunity, going out to smoke, or moving about and
talking, or throwing himself back in his chair and remaining silent, but
incessantly carrying on a dumb language of facial movement or gesticulation; and
if Mirah were in the room, he would fall into his old habit of talk with her,
gossiping about their former doings and companions, or repeating quirks, and
stories, and plots of the plays he used to adapt, in the belief that he could at
will command the vivacity of his earlier time. All this was a mortal infliction
to Ezra; and when Mirah was at home she tried to relieve him, by getting her
father down into the parlour and keeping watch over him there. What duty is made
of a single difficult resolve? The difficulty lies in the daily unflinching
support of consequences that mar the blessed return of morning with the prospect
of irritation to be suppressed or shame to be endured. And such consequences
were being borne by these, as by many other, heroic children of an unworthy
father - with the prospect, at least to Mirah, of their stretching onward
through the solid part of life.
    Meanwhile Lapidoth's presence had raised a new impalpable partition between
Deronda and Mirah - each of them dreading the soiling inferences of his mind,
each of them interpreting mistakenly the increased reserve and diffidence of the
other. But it was not very long before some light came to Deronda.
    As soon as he could, after returning from his brief visit to the Abbey, he
had called at Hans Meyrick's rooms, feeling it, on more grounds than one, a due
of friendship that Hans should be at once acquainted with the reasons of his
late journey, and the changes of intention it had brought about. Hans was not
there; he was said to be in the country for a few days; and Deronda, after
leaving a note, waited a week, rather expecting a note in return. But receiving
no word, and fearing some freak of
