 open. Unlike
the young man in the Eastern tale - who is described as a one-eyed almanack, if
I am not mistaken, Mr. Pinch?«
    »A one-eyed calender, I think, sir,« faltered Tom.
    »They are pretty nearly the same thing, I believe,« said Mr. Pecksniff,
smiling compassionately; »or they used to be in my time. Unlike that young man,
my dear Martin, you are forbidden to enter no corner of this house; but are
requested to make yourself perfectly at home in every part of it. You will be
jovial, my dear Martin, and will kill the fatted calf if you please!«
    There was not the least objection, doubtless, to the young man's
slaughtering and appropriating to his own use any calf, fat or lean, that he
might happen to find upon the premises; but as no such animal chanced at that
time to be grazing on Mr. Pecksniff's estate, this request must be considered
rather as a polite compliment than a substantial hospitality. It was the
finishing ornament of the conversation; for when he had delivered it, Mr.
Pecksniff rose, and led the way to that hot-bed of architectural genius, the
two-pair front.
    »Let me see,« he said, searching among the papers, »how you can best employ
yourself, Martin, while I am absent. Suppose you were to give me your idea of a
monument to a Lord Mayor of London; or a tomb for a sheriff; or your notion of a
cow-house to be erected in a nobleman's park. Do you know, now,« said Mr.
Pecksniff, folding his hands, and looking at his young relation with an air of
pensive interest, »that I should very much like to see your notion of a
cow-house?«
    But Martin by no means appeared to relish this suggestion.
    »A pump,« said Mr. Pecksniff, »is very chaste practice. I have found that a
lamp-post is calculated to refine the mind and give it a classical tendency. An
ornamental turnpike has a remarkable effect upon the imagination. What do you
say to beginning with an ornamental turnpike?«
    »Whatever Mr. Pecksniff pleased,« said Martin, doubtfully.
    »Stay,« said that gentleman. »Come! as you're ambitious, and are a very neat
draughtsman, you shall - ha ha! - you shall try your hand on these proposals for
a grammar-school: regulating your plan,
