 our noble Country, the Mistress of Arts and
Arms, the Scourge of France, the Arbitress of Europe, the Seat of Virtue, Piety,
Honour and Truth, the Pride and Envy of the World, so contemptuously treated.
    But, as I was not in a Condition to resent Injuries, so, upon mature
Thoughts, I began to doubt whether I were injured or no. For, after having been
accustomed several Months to the Sight and Converse of this People, and observed
every Object upon which I cast mine Eyes, to be of proportionable Magnitude; the
Horror I had first conceived from their Bulk and Aspect was so far worn off,
that if I had then beheld a Company of English Lords and Ladies in their Finery
and Birth-day Cloaths, acting their several Parts in the most courtly Manner of
Strutting, and Bowing and Prating; to say the Truth, I should have been strongly
tempted to laugh as much at them as this King and his Grandees did at me.
Neither indeed could I forbear smiling at my self, when the Queen used to place
me upon her Hand towards a Looking-Glass, by which both our Persons appeared
before me in full View together; and there could nothing be more ridiculous than
the Comparison: So that I really began to imagine my self dwindled many Degrees
below my usual Size.
    Nothing angred and mortified me so much as the Queen's Dwarf, who being of
the lowest Stature that was ever in that Country, (for I verily think he was not
full Thirty Foot high) became so insolent at seeing a Creature so much beneath
him, that he would always affect to swagger and look big as he passed by me in
the Queen's Antichamber, while I was standing on some Table talking with the
Lords or Ladies of the Court; and he seldom failed of a smart Word or two upon
my Littleness; against which I could only revenge my self by calling him
Brother, challenging him to wrestle; and such Repartees as are usual in the
Mouths of Court Pages. One Day at Dinner, this malicious little Cubb was so
nettled with something I had said to him, that raising himself upon the Frame of
her Majesty's Chair, he took me up by the Middle, as I was sitting down, not
thinking any Harm, and let me drop into a large Silver Bowl of Cream; and then
ran away as fast as he could. I fell over Head and Ears, and if I had not been a
good Swimmer, it might have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that
Instant happened
