
                                 Jonathan Swift

      Travels into several remote Nations of the World. By Lemuel Gulliver

              A Letter from Capt. Gulliver, to His Cousin Sympson.

I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be called to it,
that by your great and frequent Urgency you prevailed on me to publish a very
loose and uncorrect Account of my Travels; with Direction to hire some young
Gentlemen of either University to put them in Order, and correct the Style, as
my Cousin Dampier did by my Advice, in his Book called, A Voyage round the
World. But I do not remember I gave you Power to consent, that any thing should
be omitted, and much less that any thing should be inserted: Therefore, as to
the latter, I do here renounce every thing of that Kind; particularly a
Paragraph about her Majesty the late Queen Anne, of most pious and glorious
Memory; although I did reverence and esteem her more than any of human Species.
But you, or your Interpolator, ought to have considered, that as it was not my
Inclination, so was it not decent to praise any Animal of our Composition before
my Master Houyhnhnm: And besides, the Fact was altogether false; for to my
Knowledge, being in England during some Part of her Majesty's Reign, she did
govern by a chief Minister; nay, even by two successively; the first whereof was
the Lord of Godolphin, and the second the Lord of Oxford; so that you have made
me say the thing that was not. Likewise, in the Account of the Academy of
Projectors, and several Passages of my Discourse to my Master Houyhnhnm, you
have either omitted some material Circumstances, or minced or changed them in
such a Manner, that I do hardly know mine own Work. When I formerly hinted to
you something of this in a Letter, you were pleased to answer, that you were
afraid of giving Offence; that People in Power were very watchful over the
Press; and apt not only to interpret, but to punish every thing which looked
like an Inuendo (as I think you called it.) But pray, how could that which I
spoke so many Years ago, and at above five Thousand Leagues distance, in another
Reign, be applyed to any of the Yahoos, who now are said to govern the Herd;
especially, at a time when I little thought on or feared the Unhappiness of
living under them. Have not I the most Reason to complain, when I see these very
Yahoos carried by Houyhnhnms in a Vehicle, as if these were Brutes, and those
the rational Creatures? And, indeed, to avoid so monstrous and detestable a
Sight, was one principal Motive of my Retirement hither.
    Thus much I thought proper to tell you in Relation to your self, and to the
Trust I reposed in you.
    I do in the next Place complain of my own great Want of judgement, in being
prevailed upon by the Intreaties and false Reasonings of you and some others,
very much against mine own Opinion, to suffer my Travels to be published. Pray
bring to your Mind how often I desired you to consider, when you insisted on the
Motive of public Good; that the Yahoos were a Species of Animals utterly
incapable of Amendment by Precepts or Examples: And so it hath proved; for
instead of seeing a full Stop put to all Abuses and Corruptions, at least in
this little Island, as I had Reason to expect: Behold, after above six Months
Warning, I cannot learn that my Book hath produced one single Effect according
to mine Intentions: I desired you would let me know by a Letter, when Party and
Faction were extinguished; Judges learned and upright; Pleaders honest and
modest, with some Tincture of common Sense; and Smithfield blazing with Pyramids
of Law-Books; the young Nobility's Education entirely changed; the Physicians
banished; the Female Yahoos abounding in Virtue, Honour, Truth and good Sense:
Courts and Levees of great Ministers thoroughly weeded and swept; Wit, Merit and
Learning rewarded; all Disgracers of the Press in Prose and Verse, condemned to
eat nothing but their own Cotten, and quench their Thirst with their own Ink.
These, and a Thousand other Reformations, I firmly counted upon by your
Encouragement; as indeed they were plainly deducible from the Precepts delivered
in my Book. And, it must be owned, that seven Months were a sufficient Time to
correct every Vice and Folly to which Yahoos are subject; if their Natures had
been capable of the least Disposition to Virtue or Wisdom: Yet so far have you
been from answering mine Expectation in any of your Letters; that on the
contrary, you are loading our Carrier every Week with Libels, and Keys, and
Reflections, and Memoirs, and Second Parts; wherein I see myself accused of
reflecting upon great States-Folk; of degrading human Nature, (for so they have
still the Confidence to stile it) and of abusing the Female Sex. I find
likewise, that the Writers of those Bundles are not agreed among themselves; for
some of them will not allow me to be Author of mine own Travels; and others make
me Author of Books to which I am wholly a Stranger.
    I find likewise, that your Printer hath been so careless as to confound the
Times, and mistake the Dates of my several Voyages and Returns; neither
assigning the true Year, or the true Month, or Day of the Month: And I hear the
original Manuscript is all destroyed, since the Publication of my Book. Neither
have I any Copy left; however, I have sent you some Corrections, which you may
insert, if ever there should be a second Edition: And yet I cannot stand to
them, but shall leave that Matter to my judicious and candid Readers, to adjust
it as they please.
    I hear some of our Sea-Yahoos find Fault with my Sea-Language, as not proper
in many Parts, nor now in Use. I cannot help it. In my first Voyages, while I
was young, I was instructed by the oldest Mariners, and learned to speak as they
did. But I have since found that the Sea-Yahoos are apt, like the Land ones, to
become new fangled in their Words; which the latter change every Year; insomuch,
as I remember upon each Return to mine own Country, their old Dialect was so
altered, that I could hardly understand the new. And I observe, when any Yahoo
comes from London out of Curiosity to visit me at mine own House, we neither of
us are able to deliver our Conceptions in a Manner intelligible to the other.
    If the Censure of Yahoos could any Way affect me, I should have great Reason
to complain, that some of them are so bold as to think my Book of Travels a meer
Fiction out of mine own Brain; and have gone so far as to drop Hints, that the
Houyhahnms and Yahoos have no more Existence than the Inhabitants of Utopia.
    Indeed I must confess, that as to the People of Lilliput, Brobdingrag, (for
so the Word should have been spelt, and not erroneously Brobdingnag) and Laputa;
I have never yet heard of any Yahoo so presumptuous as to dispute their Being,
or the Facts I have related concerning them; because the Truth immediately
strikes every Reader with Conviction. And, is there less Probability in my
Account of the Houyhnhnms or Yahoos, when it is manifest as to the latter, there
are so many Thousands in this City, who only differ from their Brother Brutes in
Houyhnhnmland, because they use a Sort of Jabber, and do not go naked. I wrote
for their Amendment, and not their Approbation. The united Praise of the whole
Race would be of less Consequence to me, than the neighing of those two
degenerate Houyhnhnms I keep in my Stable; because, from these, degenerate as
they are, I still improve in some Virtues, without any Mixture of Vice.
    Do these miserable Animals presume to think that I am so far degenerated as
to defend my Veracity; Yahoo as I am, it is well known through all
Houyhnhnmland, that by the Instructions and Example of my illustrious Master, I
was able in the Compass of two Years (although I confess with the utmost
Difficulty) to remove that infernal Habit of Lying, Shuffling, Deceiving, and
Equivocating, so deeply rooted in the very Souls of all my Species; especially
the Europeans.
    I have other Complaints to make upon this vexatious Occasion; but I forbear
troubling myself or you any further. I must freely confess, that since my last
Return, some corruptions of my Yahoo Nature have revived in me by Conversing
with a few of your Species, and particularly those of mine own Family, by an
unavoidable Necessity; else I should never have attempted so absurd a Project as
that of reforming the Yahoo Race in this Kingdom; but, I have now done with all
such visionary Schemes for ever.
    April 2, 1727.
 

                          The Publisher to the Reader.

The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient and intimate
Friend; there is likewise some Relation between us by the Mother's Side. About
three Years ago Mr. Gulliver growing weary of the Concourse of curious People
coming to him at his House in Redriff, made a small Purchase of Land, with a
convenient House, near Newark, in Nottinghamshire, his native Country; where he
now lives retired, yet in good Esteem among his Neighbours.
    Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his Father dwelt,
yet I have heard him say, his Family came from Oxfordshire; to confirm which, I
have observed in the Church-Yard at Banbury, in that County, several Tombs and
Monuments of the Gullivers.
    Before he quitted Redriff, he left the Custody of the following Papers in my
Hands, with the Liberty to dispose of them as I should think fit. I have
carefully perused them three Times: The Style is very plain and simple; and the
only Fault I find is, that the Author, after the Manner of Travellers, is a
little too circumstantial. There is an Air of Truth apparent through the whole;
and indeed the Author was so distinguished for his Veracity, that it became a
Sort of Proverb among his Neighbours at Redriff, when any one affirmed a Thing,
to say, it was as true as if Mr. Gulliver had spoke it.
    By the Advice of several worthy Persons, to whom, with the Author's
Permission, I communicated these Papers, I now venture to send them into the
World; hoping they may be, at least for some time, a better Entertainment to our
young Noblemen, than the common Scribbles of Politicks and Party.
    This Volume would have been at least twice as large, if I had not made bold
to strike out innumerable Passages relating to the Winds and Tides, as well as
to the Variations and Bearings in the several Voyages; together with the minute
Descriptions of the Management of the Ship in Storms, in the Style of Sailors:
Likewise the Account of the Longitudes and Latitudes; wherein I have Reason to
apprehend that Mr. Gulliver may be a little dissatisfied: But I was resolved to
fit the Work as much as possible to the general Capacity of Readers. However, if
my own Ignorance in Sea-Affairs shall have led me to commit some Mistakes, I
alone am answerable for them: And if any Traveller hath a Curiosity to see the
whole Work at large, as it came from the Hand of the Author, I will be ready to
gratify him.
    As for any further Particulars relating to the Author, the Reader will
receive Satisfaction from the first Pages of the Book.
                                                                Richard Sympson.

                                    Part I.

                                        

                             A Voyage to Lilliput.

 

                                    Chap. I.

The Author giveth some Account of himself and Family; his first Inducements to
travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his Life; gets safe on shoar in the
Country of Lilliput; is made a Prisoner, and carried up the Country.
 
My Father had a small Estate in Nottinghamshire; I was the Third of five Sons.
He sent me to Emanuel-College in Cambridge, at Fourteen Years old, where I
resided three Years, and applied my self close to my Studies: But the Charge of
maintaining me (although I had a very scanty Allowance) being too great for a
narrow Fortune; I was bound Apprentice to Mr. James Bates, an eminent Surgeon in
London, with whom I continued four Years; and my Father now and then sending me
small Sums of Money, I laid them out in learning Navigation, and other Parts of
the Mathematicks, useful to those who intend to travel, as I always believed it
would be some time or other my Fortune to do. When I left Mr. Bates, I went down
to my Father; where, by the Assistance of him and my Uncle John, and some other
Relations, I got Forty Pounds, and a Promise of Thirty Pounds a Year to maintain
me at Leyden: There I studied Physick two Years and seven Months, knowing it
would be useful in long Voyages.
    Soon after my Return from Leyden, I was recommended by my good Master Mr.
Bates, to be Surgeon to the Swallow, Captain Abraham Pannell Commander; with
whom I continued three Years and a half, making a Voyage or two into the Levant,
and some other Parts. When I came back, I resolved to settle in London, to which
Mr. Bates, my Master, encouraged me; and by him I was recommended to several
Patients. I took Part of a small House in the Old Jury; and being advised to
alter my Condition, I married Mrs. Mary Burton, second Daughter to Mr. Edmond
Burton, Hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four Hundred Pounds for
a Portion.
    But, my good Master Bates dying in two Years after, and I having few
Friends, my Business began to fail; for my Conscience would not suffer me to
imitate the bad Practice of too many among my Brethren. Having therefore
consulted with my Wife, and some of my Acquaintance, I determined to go again to
Sea. I was Surgeon successively in two Ships, and made several Voyages, for six
Years, to the East and West- by which I got some Addition to my Fortune. My
Hours of Leisure I spent in reading the best Authors, ancient and modern; being
always provided with a good Number of Books; and when I was ashore, in observing
the Manners and Dispositions of the People, as well as learning their Language;
wherein I had a great Facility by the Strength of my Memory.
    The last of these Voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary of the
Sea, and intended to stay at home with my Wife and Family. I removed from the
Old Jury to Fetter-Lane, and from thence to Wapping, hoping to get Business
among the Sailors; but it would not turn to account. After three Years
Expectation that things would mend, I accepted an advantageous Offer from
Captain William Prichard, Master of the Antelope, who was making a Voyage to the
South-Sea. We set sail from Bristol, May 4th, 1699, and our Voyage at first was
very prosperous.
    It would not be proper for some Reasons, to trouble the Reader with the
Particulars of our Adventures in those Seas: Let it suffice to inform him, that
in our Passage from thence to the East-Indies, we were driven by a violent Storm
to the Northwest of Van Diemen's Land. By an Observation, we found ourselves in
the Latitude of 30 Degrees 2 Minutes South. Twelve of our Crew were dead by
immoderate Labour, and ill Food; the rest were in a very weak Condition. On the
fifth of November, which was the beginning of Summer in those Parts, the Weather
being very hazy, the Seamen spyed a Rock, within half a Cable's length of the
Ship; but the Wind was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and
immediately split. Six of the Crew, of whom I was one, having let down the Boat
into the Sea, made a Shift to get clear of the Ship, and the Rock. We rowed by
my Computation, about three Leagues, till we were able to work no longer, being
already spent with Labour while we were in the Ship. We therefore trusted
ourselves to the Mercy of the Waves; and in about half an Hour the Boat was
overset by a sudden Flurry from the North. What became of my Companions in the
Boat, as well as of those who escaped on the Rock, or were left in the Vessel, I
cannot tell; but conclude they were all lost. For my own Part, I swam as Fortune
directed me, and was pushed forward by Wind and Tide. I often let my Legs drop,
and could feel no Bottom: But when I was almost gone, and able to struggle no
longer, I found myself within my Depth; and by this Time the Storm was much
abated. The Declivity was so small, that I walked near a Mile before I got to
the Shore, which I conjectured was about Eight o'Clock in the Evening. I then
advanced forward near half a Mile, but could not discover any Sign of Houses or
Inhabitants; at least I was in so weak a Condition, that I did not observe them.
I was extremely tired, and with that, and the Heat of the Weather, and about
half a Pint of Brandy that I drank as I left the Ship, I found my self much
inclined to sleep. I lay down on the Grass, which was very short and soft; where
I slept sounder than ever I remember to have done in my Life, and as I reckoned,
above Nine Hours; for when I awake, it was just Day-light. I attempted to rise,
but was not able to stir: For as I happened to lie on my Back, I found my Arms
and Legs were strongly fastened on each Side to the Ground; and my Hair, which
was long and thick, tied down in the same Manner. I likewise felt several
slender Ligatures across my Body, from my Armpits to my Thighs. I could only
look upwards; the Sun began to grow hot, and the Light offended mine Eyes. I
heard a confused Noise about me, but in the Posture I lay, could see nothing
except the Sky. In a little time I felt something alive moving on my left Leg,
which advancing gently forward over my Breast, came almost up to my Chin; when
bending mine Eyes downwards as much as I could, I perceived it to be a human
Creature not six Inches high, with a Bow and Arrow in his Hands, and a Quiver at
his Back. In the mean time, I felt at least Forty more of the same Kind (as I
conjectured) following the first. I was in the utmost Astonishment, and roared
so loud, that they all ran back in a Fright; and some of them, as I was
afterwards told, were hurt with the Falls they got by leaping from my Sides upon
the Ground. However, they soon returned; and one of them, who ventured so far as
to get a full Sight of my Face, lifting up his Hands and Eyes by way of
Admiration, cryed out in a shrill, but distinct Voice, Hekinah Degul: The others
repeated the same Words several times, but I then knew not what they meant. I
lay all this while, as the Reader may believe, in great Uneasiness: At length,
struggling to get loose, I had the Fortune to break the Strings, and wrench out
the Pegs that fastened my left Arm to the Ground; for, by lifting it up to my
Face, I discovered the Methods they had taken to bind me; and, at the same time,
with a violent Pull, which gave me excessive Pain, I a little loosened the
Strings that tied down my Hair on the left Side; so that I was just able to turn
my Head about two Inches. But the Creatures ran off a second time, before I
could seize them; whereupon there was a great Shout in a very shrill Accent; and
after it ceased, I heard one of them cry aloud, Tolgo Phonac; when in an Instant
I felt above an Hundred Arrows discharged on my left Hand, which pricked me like
so many Needles; and besides, they shot another Flight into the Air, as we do
Bombs in Europe; whereof many, I suppose, fell on my Body, (though I felt them
not) and some on my Face, which I immediately covered with my left Hand. When
this Shower of Arrows was over, I fell a groaning with Grief and Pain; and then
striving again to get loose, they discharged another Volly larger than the
first; and some of them attempted with Spears to stick me in the Sides; but, by
good Luck, I had on me a Buff Jerkin, which they could not pierce. I thought it
the most prudent Method to lie still; and my Design was to continue so till
Night, when my left Hand being already loose, I could easily free myself: And as
for the Inhabitants, I had Reason to believe I might be a Match for the greatest
Armies they could bring against me, if they were all of the same Size with him
that I saw. But Fortune disposed otherwise of me. When the People observed I was
quiet, they discharged no more Arrows: But by the Noise increasing, I knew their
Numbers were greater; and about four Yards from me, over-against my right Ear, I
heard a Knocking for above an Hour, like People at work; when turning my Head
that Way, as well as the Pegs and Strings would permit me, I saw a Stage erected
about a Foot and a half from the Ground, capable of holding four of the
Inhabitants, with two or three Ladders to mount it: From whence one of them, who
seemed to be a Person of Quality, made me a long Speech, whereof I understood
not one Syllable. But I should have mentioned, that before the principal Person
began his Oration, he cryed out three times Langro Dehul san: (these Words and
the former were afterwards repeated and explained to me.) Whereupon immediately
about fifty of the Inhabitants came, and cut the Strings that fastened the left
side of my Head, which gave me the Liberty of turning it to the right, and of
observing the Person and Gesture of him who was to speak. He appeared to be of a
middle Age, and taller than any of the other three who attended him; whereof one
was a Page, who held up his Train, and seemed to be somewhat longer than my
middle Finger; the other two stood one on each side to support him. He acted
every part of an Orator; and I could observe many Periods of Threatnings, and
others of Promises, Pity, and Kindness. I answered in a few Words, but in the
most submissive Manner, lifting up my left Hand and both mine Eyes to the Sun,
as calling him for a Witness; and being almost famished with Hunger, having not
eaten a Morsel for some Hours before I left the Ship, I found the Demands of
Nature so strong upon me, that I could not forbear showing my Impatience
(perhaps against the strict Rules of Decency) by putting my Finger frequently on
my Mouth, to signify that I wanted Food. The Hurgo (for so they call a great
Lord, as I afterwards learnt) understood me very well: He descended from the
Stage, and commanded that several Ladders should be applied to my Sides, on
which above an hundred of the Inhabitants mounted, and walked towards my Mouth,
laden with Baskets full of Meat, which had been provided, and sent thither by
the King's Orders upon the first Intelligence he received of me. I observed
there was the Flesh of several Animals, but could not distinguish them by the
Taste. There were Shoulders, Legs, and Loins shaped like those of Mutton, and
very well dressed, but smaller than the Wings of a Lark. I eat them by two or
three at a Mouthful; and took three Loaves at a time, about the bigness of
Musket Bullets. They supplyed me as fast as they could, showing a thousand Marks
of Wonder and Astonishment at my Bulk and Appetite. I then made another Sign
that I wanted Drink. They found by my eating that a small Quantity would not
suffice me; and being a most ingenious People, they slung up with great
Dexterity one of their largest Hogsheads; then rolled it towards my Hand, and
beat out the Top; I drank it off at a Draught, which I might well do, for it
hardly held half a Pint, and tasted like a small Wine of Burgundy, but much more
delicious. They brought me a second Hogshead, which I drank in the same Manner,
and made Signs for more, but they had none to give me. When I had performed
these Wonders, they shouted for Joy, and danced upon my Breast, repeating
several times as they did at first, Hekinah Degul. They made me a Sign that I
should throw down the two Hogsheads, but first warned the People below to stand
out of the Way, crying aloud, Borach Mivola; and when they saw the Vessels in
the Air, there was an universal Shout of Hekinah Degul. I confess I was often
tempted, while they were passing backwards and forwards on my Body, to seize
Forty or Fifty of the first that came in my Reach, and dash them against the
Ground. But the Remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might not be the
worst they could do; and the Promise of Honour I made them, for so I interpreted
my submissive Behaviour, soon drove out those Imaginations. Besides, I now
considered my self as bound by the Laws of Hospitality to a People who had
treated me with so much Expense and Magnificence. However, in my Thoughts I
could not sufficiently wonder at the Intrepidity of these diminutive Mortals,
who durst venture to mount and walk on my Body, while one of my Hands was at
Liberty, without trembling at the very Sight of so prodigious a Creature as I
must appear to them. After some time, when they observed that I made no more
Demands for Meat, there appeared before me a Person of high Rank from his
Imperial Majesty. His Excellency having mounted on the Small of my Right Leg,
advanced forwards up to my Face, with about a Dozen of his Retinue; And
producing his Credentials under the Signet Royal, which he applied close to mine
Eyes, spoke about ten Minutes, without any Signs of Anger, but with a kind of
determinate Resolution; often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards found
was towards the Capital City, about half a Mile distant, whither it was agreed
by his Majesty in Council that I must be conveyed. I answered in few Words, but
to no Purpose, and made a Sign with my Hand that was loose, putting it to the
other, (but over his Excellency's Head, for Fear of hurting him or his Train)
and then to my own Head and Body, to signify that I desired my Liberty. It
appeared that he understood me well enough; for he shook his Head by way of
Disapprobation, and held his Hand in a Posture to show that I must be carried as
a Prisoner. However, he made other Signs to let me understand that I should have
Meat and Drink enough, and very good Treatment. Whereupon I once more thought of
attempting to break my Bonds; but again, when I felt the Smart of their Arrows
upon my Face and Hands, which, were all in Blisters, and many of the Darts still
sticking in them; and observing likewise that the Number of my Enemies
increased; I gave Tokens to let them know that they might do with me what they
pleased. Upon this, the Hurgo and his Train withdrew, with much Civility and
cheerful Countenances. Soon after I heard a general Shout, with frequent
Repetitions of the Words, Peplom Selan, and I felt great Numbers of the People
on my Left Side relaxing the Cords to such a Degree, that I was able to turn
upon my Right, and to ease my self with making Water; which I very plentifully
did, to the great Astonishment of the People, who conjecturing by my Motions
what I was going to do, immediately opened to the right and left on that Side,
to avoid the Torrent which fell with such Noise and Violence from me. But before
this, they had dawbed my Face and both my Hands with a sort of Ointment very
pleasant to the Smell, which in a few Minutes removed all the Smart of their
Arrows. These Circumstances, added to the Refreshment I had received by their
Victuals and Drink, which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I slept
about eight Hours as I was afterwards assured; and it was no Wonder; for the
Physicians, by the Emperor's Order, had mingled a sleeping Potion in the
Hogsheads of Wine.
    It seems that upon the first Moment I was discovered sleeping on the Ground
after my Landing, the Emperor had early Notice of it by an Express; and
determined in Council that I should be tyed in the Manner I have related (which
was done in the Night while I slept) that Plenty of Meat and Drink should be
sent me, and a Machine prepared to carry me to the Capital City.
    This Resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and I am
confident would not be imitated by any Prince in Europe on the like Occasion;
however, in my Opinion it was extremely Prudent as well as Generous. For
supposing these People had endeavoured to kill me with their Spears and Arrows
while I was asleep; I should certainly have awake with the first Sense of
Smart, which might so far have roused my Rage and Strength, as to enable me to
break the Strings wherewith I was tyed; after which, as they were not able to
make Resistance, so they could expect no Mercy.
    These People are most excellent Mathematicians, and arrived to a great
Perfection in Mechanicks by the Countenance and Encouragement of the Emperor,
who is a renowned Patron of Learning. This Prince hath several Machines fixed on
Wheels, for the Carriage of Trees and other great Weights. He often buildeth his
largest Men of War, whereof some are Nine Foot long, in the Woods where the
Timber grows, and has them carried on these Engines three or four Hundred Yards
to the Sea. Five Hundred Carpenters and Engineers were immediately set at work
to prepare the greatest Engine they had. It was a Frame of Wood raised three
Inches from the Ground, about seven Foot long and four wide, moving upon twenty
two Wheels. The Shout I heard, was upon the Arrival of this Engine, which, it
seems, set out in four Hours after my Landing. It was brought parallel to me as
I lay. But the principal Difficulty was to raise and place me in this Vehicle.
Eighty Poles, each of one Foot high, were erected for this Purpose, and very
strong Cords of the bigness of Packthread were fastened by Hooks to many
Bandages, which the Workmen had girt round my Neck, my Hands, my Body, and my
Legs. Nine Hundred of the strongest Men were employed to draw up these Cords by
many Pullies fastened on the Poles; and thus in less than three Hours, I was
raised and slung into the Engine, and there tyed fast. All this I was told; for
while the whole Operation was performing, I lay in a profound Sleep, by the
Force of that soporiferous Medicine infused into my Liquor. Fifteen hundred of
the Emperor's largest Horses, each about four Inches and a half high, were
employed to draw me towards the Metropolis, which, as I said, was half a Mile
distant.
    About four Hours after we began our Journey, I awake by a very ridiculous
Accident; for the Carriage being stopped a while to adjust something that was out
of Order, two or three of the young Natives had the Curiosity to see how I
looked when I was asleep; they climbed up into the Engine, and advancing very
softly to my Face, one of them, an Officer in the Guards, put the sharp End of
his Half-Pike a good way up into my left Nostril, which tickled my Nose like a
Straw, and made me sneeze violently: Whereupon they stole off unperceived; and
it was three Weeks before I knew the Cause of my awaking so suddenly. We made a
long March the remaining Part of the Day, and rested at Night with Five Hundred
Guards on each Side of me, half with Torches, and half with Bows and Arrows,
ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The next Morning at Sun-rise we
continued our March, and arrived within two Hundred Yards of the City-Gates
about Noon. The Emperor, and all his Court, came out to meet us; but his great
Officers would by no means suffer his Majesty to endanger his Person by mounting
on my Body.
    At the Place where the Carriage stopped, there stood an ancient Temple,
esteemed to be the largest in the whole Kingdom; which having been polluted some
Years before by an unnatural Murder, was, according to the Zeal of those People,
looked upon as Prophane, and therefore had been applied to common Use, and all
the Ornaments and Furniture carried away. In this Edifice it was determined I
should lodge. The great Gate fronting to the North was about four Foot high, and
almost two Foot wide, through which I could easily creep. On each Side of the
Gate was a small Window not above six Inches from the Ground: Into that on the
Left Side, the King's Smiths conveyed fourscore and eleven Chains, like those
that hang to a Lady's Watch in Europe, and almost as large, which were locked to
my Left Leg with six and thirty Padlocks. Over against this Temple, on the other
Side of the great Highway, at twenty Foot Distance, there was a Turret at least
five Foot high. Here the Emperor ascended with many principal Lords of his
Court, to have an Opportunity of viewing me, as I was told, for I could not see
them. It was reckoned that above an hundred thousand Inhabitants came out of the
Town upon the same Errand; and in spite of my Guards, I believe there could not
be fewer than ten thousand, at several Times, who mounted upon my Body by the
Help of Ladders. But a Proclamation was soon issued to forbid it, upon Pain of
Death. When the Workmen found it was impossible for me to break loose, they cut
all the Strings that bound me; whereupon I rose up with as melancholy a
Disposition as ever I had in my Life. But the Noise and Astonishment of the
People at seeing me rise and walk, are not to be expressed. The Chains that held
my left Leg were about two Yards long, and gave me not only the Liberty of
walking backwards and forwards in a Semicircle; but being fixed within four
Inches of the Gate, allowed me to creep in, and lie at my full Length in the
Temple.
 

                                   Chap. II.

The Emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the Nobility, comes to see the
Author in his Confinement. The Emperor's Person and Habit described. Learned Men
appointed to teach the Author their Language. He gains Favour by his mild
Disposition. His Pockets are searched, and his Sword and Pistols taken from him.
 
When I found myself on my Feet, I looked about me, and must confess I never
beheld a more entertaining Prospect. The Country round appeared like a continued
Garden; and the enclosed Fields, which were generally Forty Foot square,
resembled so many Beds of Flowers. These Fields were intermingled with Woods of
half a Stang, and the tallest Trees, as I could judge, appeared to be seven Foot
high. I viewed the Town on my left Hand, which looked like the painted Scene of
a City in a Theatre.
    I had been for some Hours extremely pressed by the Necessities of Nature;
which was no Wonder, it being almost two Days since I had last disburthened
myself. I was under great Difficulties between Urgency and Shame. The best
Expedient I could think on, was to creep into my House, which I accordingly did;
and shutting the Gate after me, I went as far as the Length of my Chain would
suffer; and discharged my Body of that uneasy Load. But this was the only Time I
was ever guilty of so uncleanly an Action; for which I cannot but hope the
candid Reader will give some Allowance, after he hath maturely and impartially
considered my Case, and the Distress I was in. From this Time my constant
Practice was, as soon as I rose, to perform that Business in open Air, at the
full Extent of my Chain; and due Care was taken every Morning before Company
came, that the offensive Matter should be carded off in Wheel-barrows, by two
Servants appointed for that Purpose. I would not have dwelt so long upon a
Circumstance, that perhaps at first Sight may appear not very momentous; if I
had not thought it necessary to justify my Character in Point of Cleanliness to
the World; which I am told, some of my Maligners have been pleased, upon this
and other Occasions, to call in Question.
    When this Adventure was at an End, I came back out of my House, having
Occasion for fresh Air. The Emperor was already descended from the Tower, and
advancing on Horseback towards me, which had like to have cost him dear; for the
Beast, although very well trained, yet wholly unused to such a Sight, which
appeared as if a Mountain moved before him, reared up on his hinder Feet: But
that Prince, who is an excellent Horseman, kept his Seat, until his Attendants
ran in, and held the Bridle, while his Majesty had Time to dismount. When he
alighted, he surveyed me round with great Admiration, but kept beyond the Length
of my Chains. He ordered his Cooks and Butlers, who were already prepared, to
give me Victuals and Drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of Vehicles upon
Wheels until I could reach them. I took those Vehicles, and soon emptied them
all; twenty of them were filled with Meat, and ten with Liquor; each of the
former afforded me two or three good Mouthfuls, and I emptied the Liquor of ten
Vessels, which was contained in earthen Vials, into one Vehicle, drinking it off
at a Draught; and so I did with the rest. The Empress, and young Princes of the
Blood, of both Sexes, attended by many Ladies, sate at some Distance in their
Chairs; but upon the Accident that happened to the Emperor's Horse, they
alighted, and came near his Person; which I am now going to describe. He is
taller by almost the Breadth of my Nail, than any of his Court; which alone is
enough to strike an Awe into the Beholders. His Features are strong and
masculine, with an Austrian Lip, and arched Nose, his Complexion olive, his
Countenance erect, his Body and Limbs well proportioned, all his Motions
graceful, and his Deportment majestick. He was then past his Prime, being
twenty-eight Years and three Quarters old, of which he had reigned about seven,
in great Felicity, and generally victorious. For the better Convenience of
beholding him, I lay on my Side, so that my Face was parallel to his, and he
stood but three Yards off: However, I have had him since many Times in my Hand,
and therefore cannot be deceived in the Description. His Dress was very plain
and simple, the Fashion of it between the Asiatick and the European; but he had
on his Head a light Helmet of Gold, adorned with Jewels, and a Plume on the
Crest. He held his Sword drawn in his Hand, to defend himself, if I should
happen to break loose; it was almost three Inches long, the Hilt and Scabbard
were Gold enriched with Diamonds. His Voice was shrill, but very clear and
articulate, and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The Ladies and
Courtiers were all most magnificently clad, so that the Spot they stood upon
seemed to resemble a Petticoat spread on the Ground, embroidered with Figures of
Gold and Silver. His Imperial Majesty spoke often to me, and I returned Answers,
but neither of us could understand a Syllable. There were several of his Priests
and Lawyers present (as I conjectured by their Habits) who were commanded to
address themselves to me, and I spoke to them in as many Languages as I had the
least Smattering of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish,
Italian, and Lingua Franca; but all to no purpose. After about two Hours the
Court retired, and I was left with a strong Guard, to prevent the Impertinence,
and probably the Malice of the Rabble, who were very impatient to crowd about me
as near as they durst; and some of them had the Impudence to shoot their Arrows
at me as I sate on the Ground by the Door of my House; whereof one very narrowly
missed my left Eye. But the Colonel ordered six of the Ringleaders to be seized,
and thought no Punishment so proper as to deliver them bound into my Hands,
which some of his Soldiers accordingly did, pushing them forwards with the
But-ends of their Pikes into my Reach: I took them all in my right Hand, put
five of them into my Coat-pocket; and as to the sixth, I made a Countenance as
if I would eat him alive. The poor Man squalled terribly, and the Colonel and
his Officers were in much Pain, especially when they saw me take out my
Penknife: But I soon put them out of Fear; for, looking mildly, and immediately
cutting the Strings he was bound with, I set him gently on the Ground, and away
he ran. I treated the rest in the same Manner, taking them one by one out of my
Pocket; and I observed, both the Soldiers and People were highly obliged at this
Mark of my Clemency, which was represented very much to my Advantage at Court.
    Towards Night I got with some Difficulty into my House, where I lay on the
Ground, and continued to do so about a Fortnight; during which time the Emperor
gave Orders to have a Bed prepared for me. Six Hundred Beds of the common
Measure were brought in Carriages, and worked up in my House; an Hundred and
Fifty of their Beds sown together made up the Breadth and Length, and these were
four double, which however kept me but very indifferently from the Hardness of
the Floor, that was of smooth Stone. By the same Computation they provided me
with Sheets, Blankets, and Coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been so
long enured to Hardships as I.
    As the News of my Arrival spread through the Kingdom, it brought prodigious
Numbers of rich, idle, and curious People to see me; so that the Villages were
almost emptied, and great Neglect of Tillage and Houshold Affairs must have
ensued, if his Imperial Majesty had not provided by several Proclamations and
Orders of State against this Inconveniency. He directed that those, who had
already beheld me, should return home, and not presume to come within fifty
Yards of my House, without Licence from Court; whereby the Secretaries of State
got considerable Fees.
    In the mean time, the Emperor held frequent Councils to debate what Course
should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured by a particular Friend, a
Person of great Quality, who was as much in the Secret as any; that the Court
was under many Difficulties concerning me. They apprehended my breaking loose;
that my Diet would be very expensive, and might cause a Famine. Sometimes they
determined to starve me, or at least to shoot me in the Face and Hands with
poisoned Arrows, which would soon dispatch me: But again they considered, that
the Stench of so large a Carcase might produce a Plague in the Metropolis, and
probably spread through the whole Kingdom. In the midst of these Consultations,
several Officers of the Army went to the Door of the great Council-Chamber; and
two of them being admitted, gave an Account of my Behaviour to the six Criminals
above-mentioned; which made so favourable an Impression in the Breast of his
Majesty, and the whole Board, in my Behalf, that an Imperial Commission was
issued out, obliging all the Villages nine hundred Yards round the City to
deliver in every Morning six Beeves, forty Sheep, and other Victuals for my
Sustenance; together with a proportionable Quantity of Bread and Wine, and other
Liquors: For the due Payment of which his Majesty gave Assignments upon his
Treasury. For this Prince lives chiefly upon his own Demesnes; seldom, except
upon great Occasions raising any Subsidies upon his Subjects, who are bound to
attend him in his Wars at their own Expense. An Establishment was also made of
Six Hundred Persons to be my Domesticks, who had Board-Wages allowed for their
Maintenance, and Tents built for them very conveniently on each side of my Door.
It was likewise ordered, that three hundred Taylors should make me a Suit of
clothes after the Fashion of the Country: That, six of his Majesty's greatest
Scholars should be employed to instruct me in their Language: And, lastly, that
the Emperor's Horses, and those of the Nobility, and Troops of Guards, should be
exercised in my Sight, to accustom themselves to me. All these Orders were duly
put in Execution; and in about three Weeks I made a great Progress in Learning
their Language; during which Time, the Emperor frequently honoured me with his
Visits, and was pleased to assist my Masters in teaching me. We began already to
converse together in some Sort; and the first Words I learnt, were to express my
Desire, that he would please to give me my Liberty; which I every Day repeated
on my Knees. His Answer, as I could apprehend, was, that this must be a Work of
Time, not to be thought on without the Advice of his Council; and that first I
must Lumos Kelmin pesso desmar lon Emposo; that is, Swear a Peace with him and
his Kingdom. However, that I should be used with all Kindness; and he advised me
to acquire by my Patience and discreet Behaviour, the good Opinion of himself
and his Subjects. He desired I would not take it ill, if he gave Orders to
certain proper Officers to search me; for probably I might carry about me
several Weapons, which must needs be dangerous Things, if they answered the Bulk
of so prodigious a Person. I said, his Majesty should be satisfied, for I was
ready to strip my self, and turn up my Pockets before him. This I delivered,
part in Words, and part in Signs. He replied, that by the Laws of the Kingdom, I
must be searched by two of his Officers: That he knew this could not be done
without my Consent and Assistance; that he had so good an Opinion of my
Generosity and Justice, as to trust their Persons in my Hands: That whatever
they took from me should be returned when I left the Country, or paid for at the
Rate which I would set upon them. I took up the two Officers in my Hands, put
them first into my Coat-Pockets, and then into every other Pocket about me,
except my two Fobs, and another secret Pocket which I had no Mind should be
searched, wherein I had some little Necessaries of no Consequence to any but my
self. In one of my Fobs there was a Silver Watch, and in the other a small
Quantity of Gold in a Purse. These Gentlemen, having Pen, Ink, and Paper about
them, made an exact Inventory of every thing they saw; and when they had done,
desired I would set them down, that they might deliver it to the Emperor. This
Inventory I afterwards translated into English, and is Word for Word as follows.
    Imprimis, In the right Coat-Pocket of the Great Man Mauntain (for so I
interpret the Words Quinbus Flestrin) after the strictest Search, we found only
one great Piece of coarse Cloth, large enough to be a Foot-Cloth for your
Majesty's chief Room of State. In the left Pocket, we saw a huge Silver Chest,
with a Cover of the same Metal, which we, the Searchers, were not able to lift.
We desired it should be opened; and one of us stepping into it, found himself up
to the mid Leg in a sort of Dust, some part whereof flying up to our Faces, set
us both a sneezing for several Times together. In his right Waistcoat-Pocket, we
found a prodigious Bundle of white thin Substances, folded one over another,
about the Bigness of three Men, tied with a strong Cable, and marked with Black
Figures; which we humbly conceive to be Writings; every Letter almost half as
large as the Palm of our Hands. In the left there was a sort of Engine, from the
Back of which were extended twenty long Poles, resembling the Pallisado's before
your Majesty's Court; wherewith we conjecture the Man Mountain combs his Head;
for we did not always trouble him with Questions, because we found it a great
Difficulty to make him understand us. In the large Pocket on the right Side of
his middle Cover, (so I translate the Word Ranfu-Lo, by which they meant my
Breeches) we saw a hollow Pillar of Iron, about the Length of a Man, fastened to
a strong Piece of Timber, larger than the Pillar; and upon one side of the
Pillar were huge Pieces of Iron sticking out, cut into strange Figures; which we
know not what to make of. In the left Pocket, another Engine of the same kind.
In the smaller Pocket on the right Side, were several round flat Pieces of white
and red Metal, of different Bulk: Some of the white, which seemed to be Silver,
were so large and heavy, that my Comrade and I could hardly lift them. In the
left Pocket were two black Pillars irregularly shaped: we could not, without
Difficulty, reach the Top of them as we stood at the Bottom of his Pocket: One
of them was covered, and seemed all of a Piece; but at the upper End of the
other, there appeared a white round Substance, about twice the bigness of our
Heads. Within each of these was enclosed a prodigious Plate of Steel; which, by
our Orders, we obliged him to show us, because we apprehended they might be
dangerous Engines. He took them out of their Cases, and told us, that in his own
Country his Practice was to shave his Beard with one of these, and to cut his
Meat with the other. There were two Pockets which we could not enter: These he
called his Fobs; they were two large Slits cut into the Top of his middle Cover,
but squeezed close by the Pressure of his Belly. Out of the right Fob hung a
great Silver Chain, with a wonderful kind of Engine at the Bottom. We directed
him to draw out whatever was at the End of that Chain; which appeared to be a
Globe, half Silver, and half of some transparent Metal: For on the transparent
Side we saw certain strange Figures circularly drawn, and thought we could touch
them, until we found our Fingers stopped with that lucid Substance. He put this
Engine to our Ears, which made an incessant Noise like that of a Water-Mill. And
we conjecture it is either some unknown Animal, or the God that he worships: But
we are more inclined to the latter Opinion, because he assured us (if we
understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly) that he seldom
did any Thing without consulting it. He called it his Oracle, and said it
pointed out the Time for every Action of his Life. From the left Fob he took out
a Net almost large enough for a Fisherman, but contrived to open and shut like a
Purse, and served him for the same Use: We found therein several massy Pieces of
yellow Metal, which if they be real Gold, must be of immense Value.
    Having thus, in Obedience to your Majesty's Commands, diligently searched
all his Pockets; we observed a Girdle about his Waist made of the Hyde of some
prodigious Animal; from which, on the left Side, hung a Sword of the Length of
five Men; and on the right, a Bag or Pouch divided into two Cells; each Cell
capable of holding three of your Majesty's Subjects. In one of these Cells were
several Globes or Balls of a most ponderous Metal, about the Bigness of our
Heads, and required a strong Hand to lift them: The other Cell contained a Heap
of certain black Grains, but of no great Bulk or Weight, for we could hold above
fifty of them in the Palms of our Hands.
    This is an exact Inventory of what we found about the Body of the Man
Mountain; who used us with great Civility, and due Respect to your Majesty's
Commission. Signed and Sealed on the fourth Day of the eighty ninth Moon of your
Majesty's auspicious Reign.
                                                 Clefren Frelock, Marsi Frelock.
 
When this Inventory was read over to the Emperor, he directed me to deliver up
the several Particulars. He first called for my Scymiter, which I took out,
Scabbard and all. In the mean time he ordered three thousand of his choicest
Troops, who then attended him, to surround me at a Distance, with their Bows and
Arrows just ready to discharge: But I did not observe it; for mine Eyes were
wholly fixed upon his Majesty. He then desired me to draw my Scymiter, which,
although it had got some Rust by the Sea-Water, was in most Parts exceeding
bright. I did so, and immediately all the Troops gave a Shout between Terror and
Surprise; for the Sun shone clear, and the Reflexion dazzled their Eyes, as I
waved the Scymiter to and fro in my Hand. His Majesty, who is a most magnanimous
Prince, was less daunted than I could expect; he ordered me to return it into
the Scabbard, and cast it on the Ground as gently as I could, about six Foot
from the End of my Chain. The next Thing he demanded was one of the hollow Iron
Pillars, by which he meant my Pocket-Pistols. I drew it out, and at his Desire,
as well as I could, expressed to him the Use of it, and charging it only with
Powder, which by the Closeness of my Pouch, happened to escape wetting in the
Sea, (an Inconvenience that all prudent Mariners take special Care to provide
against) I first cautioned the Emperor not to be afraid; and then I let it off
in the Air. The Astonishment here was much greater than at the Sight of my
Scymiter. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck dead; and even the
Emperor, although he stood his Ground, could not recover himself in some time. I
delivered up both my Pistols in the same Manner as I had done my Scymiter, and
then my Pouch of Powder and Bullets; begging him that the former might be kept
from Fire; for it would kindle with the smallest Spark, and blow up his Imperial
Palace into the Air. I likewise delivered up my Watch, which the Emperor was
very curious to see; and commanded two of his tallest Yeomen of the Guards to
bear it on a Pole upon their Shoulders, as Dray-men in England do a Barrel of
Ale. He was amazed at the continual Noise it made, and the Motion of the
Minute-hand, which he could easily discern; for their Sight is much more acute
than ours: He asked the Opinions of his learned Men about him, which were
various and remote, as the Reader may well imagine without my repeating;
although indeed I could not very perfectly understand them. I then gave up my
Silver and Copper Money, my Purse with nine large Pieces of Gold, and some
smaller ones; my Knife and Razor, my Comb and Silver Snuff-Box, my Handkerchief
and Journal Book. My Scymiter, Pistols, and Pouch, were conveyed in Carriages to
his Majesty's Stores; but the rest of my Goods were returned me.
    I had, as I before observed, one private Pocket which escaped their Search,
wherein there was a Pair of Spectacles (which I sometimes use for the Weakness
of mine Eyes) a Pocket Perspective, and several other little Conveniences; which
being of no Consequence to the Emperor, I did not think my self bound in Honour
to discover; and I apprehended they might be lost or spoiled if I ventured them
out of my Possession.
 

                                   Chap. III.

The Author diverts the Emperor and his Nobility of both Sexes, in a very
uncommon Manner. The Diversions of the Court of Lilliput described. The Author
hath his Liberty granted him upon certain Conditions.
 
My Gentleness and good Behaviour had gained so far on the Emperor and his Court,
and indeed upon the Army and People in general, that I began to conceive Hopes
of getting my Liberty in a short Time. I took all possible Methods to cultivate
this favourable Disposition. The Natives came by Degrees to be less apprehensive
of any Danger from me. I would sometimes lie down, and let five or six of them
dance on my Hand. And at last the Boys and Girls would venture to come and play
at Hide and Seek in my Hair. I had now made a good Progress in understanding and
speaking their Language. The Emperor had a mind one Day to entertain me with
several of the Country Shows; wherein they exceed all Nations I have known, both
for Dexterity and Magnificence. I was diverted with none so much as that of the
Rope-Dancers, performed upon a slender white Thread, extended about two Foot,
and twelve Inches from the Ground. Upon which, I shall desire Liberty, with the
Reader's Patience, to enlarge a little.
    This Diversion is only practised by those Persons, who are Candidates for
great Employments, and high Favour, at Court. They are trained in this Art from
their Youth, and are not always of noble Birth, or liberal Education. When a
great Office is vacant, either by Death or Disgrace, (which often happens) five
or six of those Candidates petition the Emperor to entertain his Majesty and the
Court with a Dance on the Rope; and whoever jumps the highest without falling,
succeeds in the Office. Very often the chief Ministers themselves are commanded
to show their Skill, and to convince the Emperor that they have not lost their
Faculty. Flimnap, the Treasurer, is allowed to cut a Caper on the strait Rope,
at least an Inch higher than any other Lord in the whole Empire. I have seen him
do the Summerset several times together, upon a Trencher fixed on the Rope,
which is no thicker than a common Packthread in England. My Friend Reldresal,
principal Secretary for private Affairs, is, in my Opinion, if I am not partial,
the second after the Treasurer; the rest of the great Officers are much upon a
Par.
    These Diversions are often attended with fatal Accidents, whereof great
Numbers are on Record. I my self have seen two or three Candidates break a Limb.
But the Danger is much greater, when the Ministers themselves are commanded to
show their Dexterity: For, by contending to excel themselves and their Fellows,
they strain so far, that there is hardly one of them who hath not received a
Fall; and some of them two or three. I was assured, that a Year or two before my
Arrival, Flimnap would have infallibly broke his Neck, if one of the King's
Cushions, that accidentally lay on the Ground, had not weakened the Force of his
Fall.
    There is likewise another Diversion, which is only shown before the Emperor
and Empress, and first Minister, upon particular Occasions. The Emperor lays on
a Table three fine silken Threads of six Inches long. One is Blue, the other
Red, and the third Green. These Threads are proposed as Prizes, for those
Persons whom the Emperor hath a mind to distinguish by a peculiar Mark of his
Favour. The Ceremony is performed in his Majesty's great Chamber of State; where
the Candidates are to undergo a Tryal of Dexterity very different from the
former; and such as I have not observed the least Resemblance of in any other
Country of the old or the new World. The Emperor holds a Stick in his Hands,
both Ends parallel to the Horizon, while the Candidates advancing one by one,
sometimes leap over the Stick, sometimes creep under it backwards and forwards
several times, according as the Stick is advanced or depressed. Sometimes the
Emperor holds one End of the Stick, and his first Minister the other; sometimes
the Minister has it entirely to himself. Whoever performs his Part with most
Agility, and holds out the longest in leaping and creeping, is rewarded with the
Blue-coloured Silk; the Red is given to the next, and the Green to the third,
which they all wear girt twice round about the Middle; and you see few great
Persons about this Court, who are not adorned with one of these Girdles.
    The Horses of the Army, and those of the Royal Stables, having been daily
led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very Feet, without
starting. The Riders would leap them over my Hand as I held it on the Ground;
and one of the Emperor's Huntsmen, upon a large Courser, took my Foot, Shoe and
all; which was indeed a prodigious Leap. I had the good Fortune to divert the
Emperor one Day, after a very extraordinary Manner. I desired he would order
several Sticks of two Foot high, and the Thickness of an ordinary Cane, to be
brought me; whereupon his Majesty commanded the Master of his Woods to give
Directions accordingly; and the next Morning six Wood-men arrived with as many
Carriages, drawn by eight Horses to each. I took nine of these Sticks, and
fixing them firmly in the Ground in a Quadrangular Figure, two Foot and a half
square; I took four other Sticks, and tyed them parallel at each Corner, about
two Foot from the Ground; then I fastened my Handkerchief to the nine Sticks
that stood erect; and extended it on all Sides, till it was as tight as the Top
of a Drum; and the four parallel Sticks rising about five Inches higher than the
Handkerchief, served as Ledges on each Side. When I had finished my Work, I
desired the Emperor to let a Troop of his best Horse, Twenty-four in Number,
come and exercise upon this Plain. His Majesty approved of the Proposal, and I
took them up one by one in my Hands, ready mounted and armed, with the proper
Officers to exercise them. As soon as they got into Order, they divided into two
Parties, performed mock Skirmishes, discharged blunt Arrows, drew their Swords,
fled and pursued, attacked and retired; and in short discovered the best
military Discipline I ever beheld. The parallel Sticks secured them and their
Horses from falling over the Stage; and the Emperor was so much delighted, that
he ordered this Entertainment to be repeated several Days; and once was pleased
to be lifted up, and give the Word of Command; and, with great Difficulty,
persuaded even the Empress her self to let me hold her in her close Chair,
within two Yards of the Stage, from whence she was able to take a full View of
the whole Performance. It was my good Fortune that no ill Accident happened in
these Entertainments; only once a fiery Horse that belonged to one of the
Captains, pawing with his Hoof struck a Hole in my Handkerchief, and his Foot
slipping, he overthrew his Rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them
both: For covering the Hole with one Hand, I set down the Troop with the other,
in the same Manner as I took them up. The Horse that fell was strained in the
left Shoulder, but the Rider got no Hurt; and I repaired my Handkerchief as well
as I could: However, I would not trust to the Strength of it any more in such
dangerous Enterprizes.
    About two or three Days before I was set at Liberty, as I was entertaining
the Court with these Kinds of Feats, there arrived an Express to inform his
Majesty, that some of his Subjects riding near the Place where I was first taken
up, had seen a great black Substance lying on the Ground, very oddly shaped,
extending its Edges round as wide as his Majesty's Bedchamber, and rising up in
the Middle as high as a Man: That it was no living Creature, as they at first
apprehended; for it lay on the Grass without Motion, and some of them had walked
round it several Times: That by mounting upon each others Shoulders, they had
got to the Top, which was flat and even; and, stamping upon it, they found it
was hollow within: That they humbly conceived it might be something belonging to
the Man-Mountain; and if his Majesty pleased, they would undertake to bring it
with only five Horses. I presently knew what they meant; and was glad at Heart
to receive this Intelligence. It seems, upon my first reaching the Shore, after
our Shipwreck, I was in such Confusion, that before I came to the Place where I
went to sleep, my Hat, which I had fastened with a String to my Head while I was
rowing, and had stuck on all the Time I was swimming, fell off after I came to
Land; the String, as I conjecture, breaking by some Accident which I never
observed, but thought my Hat had been lost at Sea. I entreated his Imperial
Majesty to give Orders it might be brought to me as soon as possible, describing
to him the Use and the Nature of it: And the next Day the Waggoners arrived with
it, but not in a very good Condition; they had bored two Holes in the Brim,
within an Inch and a half of the Edge, and fastened two Hooks in the Holes;
these Hooks were tied by a long Cord to the Harness, and thus my Hat was dragged
along for above half an English Mile: But the Ground in that Country being
extremely smooth and level, it received less Damage than I expected.
    Two Days after this Adventure, the Emperor having ordered that Part of his
Army, which quarters in and about his Metropolis, to be in a Readiness, took a
fancy of diverting himself in a very singular Manner. He desired I would stand
like a Colossus, with my Legs as far asunder as I conveniently could. He then
commanded his General (who was an old experienced Leader, and a great Patron of
mine) to draw up the Troops in close Order, and march them under me; the Foot by
Twenty-four in a Breast, and the Horse by Sixteen, with Drums beating, Colours
flying, and Pikes advanced. This Body consisted of three Thousand Foot, and a
Thousand Horse. His Majesty gave Orders, upon Pain of Death, that every Soldier
in his March should observe the strictest Decency, with regard to my Person;
which, however, could not prevent some of the younger Officers from turning up
their Eyes as they passed under me. And, to confess the Truth, my Breeches were
at that Time in so ill a Condition, that they afforded some Opportunities for
Laughter and Admiration.
    I had sent so many Memorials and Petitions for my Liberty, that his Majesty
at length mentioned the Matter first in the Cabinet, and then in a full Council;
where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh Bolgolam, who was pleased, without
any Provocation, to be my mortal Enemy. But it was carried against him by the
whole Board, and confirmed by the Emperor. That Minister was Galbet, or Admiral
of the Realm; very much in his Master's Confidence, and a Person well versed in
Affairs, but of a morose and sour Complection. However, he was at length
persuaded to comply; but prevailed that the Articles and Conditions upon which I
should be set free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn up by himself.
These Articles were brought to me by Skyresh Bolgolam in Person, attended by two
under Secretaries, and several Persons of Distinction. After they were read, I
was demanded to swear to the Performance of them; first in the Manner of my own
Country, and afterwards in the Method prescribed by their Laws; which was to
hold my right Foot in my left Hand, to place the middle Finger of my right Hand
on the Crown of my Head, and my Thumb on the Tip of my right Ear. But, because
the Reader may perhaps be curious to have some Idea of the Style and Manner of
Expression peculiar to that People, as well as to know the Articles upon which I
recovered my Liberty; I have made a Translation of the whole Instrument, Word
for Word, as near as I was able; which I here offer to the Publick.
 
Golbasto Momaren Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, most Mighty Emperor of
Lilliput, Delight and Terror of the Universe, whose Dominions extend five
Thousand Blustrugs, (about twelve Miles in Circumference) to the Extremities of
the Globe: Monarch of all Monarchs: Taller than the Sons of Men; whose Feet
press down to the Center, and whose Head strikes against the Sun: At whose Nod
the Princes of the Earth shake their Knees; pleasant as the Spring, comfortable
as the Summer, fruitful as Autumn, dreadful as Winter. His most sublime Majesty
proposeth to the Man-Mountain, lately arrived at our Celestial Dominions, the
following Articles, which by a solemn Oath he shall be obliged to perform.

First, The Man-Mountain shall not depart from our Dominions, without our Licence
under our Great Seal.

Secondly, He shall not presume to come into our Metropolis, without our express
Order; at which time, the Inhabitants shall have two Hours Warning, to keep
within their Doors.

Thirdly, The said Man-Mountain shall confine his Walks to our principal high
Roads; and not offer to walk or lie down in a Meadow, or Field of Corn.

Fourthly, As he walks the said Roads, he shall take the utmost Care not to
trample upon the Bodies of any of our loving Subjects, their Horses, or
Carriages; nor take any of our said Subjects into his Hands, without their own
Consent.

Fifthly, If an Express require extraordinary Dispatch; the Man-Mountain shall be
obliged to carry in his Pocket the Messenger and Horse, a six Days Journey once
in every Moon, and return the said Messenger back (if so required) safe to our
Imperial Presence.

Sixthly, He shall be our Ally against our Enemies in the Island of Belfuscu, and
do his utmost to destroy their Fleet, which is now preparing to invade Us.

Seventhly, That the said Man-Mountain shall, at his Times of Leisure, be aiding
and assisting to our Workmen, in helping to raise certain great Stones, towards
covering the Wall of the principal Park, and other our Royal Buildings.

Eighthly, That the said Man-Mountain shall, in two Moons Time, deliver in an
exact Survey of the Circumference of our Dominions, by a Computation of his own
Paces round the Coast.

Lastly, That upon his solemn Oath to observe all the above Articles, the said
Man-Mountain shall have a daily Allowance of Meat and Drink, sufficient for the
Support of 1728 of our Subjects; with free Access to our Royal Person, and other
Marks of our Favour. Given at our Palace at Belfaborac the Twelfth Day of the
Ninety-first Moon of our Reign.

I swore and subscribed to these Articles with great Chearfulness and Content,
although some of them were not so honourable as I could have wished; which
proceeded wholly from the Malice of Skyresh Bolgolam the High Admiral: Whereupon
my Chains were immediately unlocked, and I was at full Liberty: The Emperor
himself, in Person, did me the Honour to be by at the whole Ceremony. I made my
Acknowledgments, by prostrating myself at his Majesty's Feet: But he commanded
me to rise; and after many gracious Expressions, which, to avoid the Censure of
Vanity, I shall not repeat; he added, that he hoped I should prove a useful
Servant, and well deserve all the Favours he had already conferred upon me, or
might do for the future.
    The Reader may please to observe, that in the last Article for the Recovery
of my Liberty, the Emperor stipulates to allow me a Quantity of Meat and Drink,
sufficient for the Support of 1728 Lilliputians. Some time after, asking a
Friend at Court how they came to fix on that determinate Number; he told me,
that his Majesty's Mathematicians, having taken the Height of my Body by the
Help of a Quadrant, and finding it to exceed theirs in the Proportion of Twelve
to One, they concluded from the Similarity of their Bodies, that mine must
contain at least 1728 of theirs, and consequently would require as much Food as
was necessary to support that Number of Lilliputians. By which, the Reader may
conceive an Idea of the Ingenuity of that People, as well as the prudent and
exact Oeconomy of so great a Prince.
 

                                   Chap. IV.

Mildendo, the Metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the Emperor's
Palace. A Conversation between the Author and a principal Secretary, concerning
the Affairs of that Empire: The Author's Offers to serve the Emperor in his
Wars.
 
The first Request I made after I had obtained my Liberty, was, that I might have
Licence to see Mildendo, the Metropolis; which the Emperor easily granted me,
but with a special Charge to do no Hurt, either to the Inhabitants, or their
Houses. The People had Notice by Proclamation of my Design to visit the Town.
The Wall which encompassed it, is two Foot and an half high, and at least eleven
Inches broad, so that a Coach and Horses may be driven very safely round it; and
it is flanked with strong Towers at ten Foot Distance. I stepped over the great
Western Gate, and passed very gently, and sideling through the two principal
Streets, only in my short Waistcoat, for fear of damaging the Roofs and Eves of
the Houses with the Skirts of my Coat. I walked with the utmost Circumspection,
to avoid treading on any Stragglers, who might remain in the Streets, although
the Orders were very strict, that all People should keep in their Houses, at
their own Peril. The Garret Windows and Tops of Houses were so crowded with
Spectators, that I thought in all my Travels I had not seen a more populous
Place. The City is an exact Square, each Side of the Wall being five Hundred
Foot long. The two great Streets which run cross and divide it into four
Quarters, are five Foot wide. The Lanes and Alleys which I could not enter, but
only viewed them as I passed, are from Twelve to Eighteen Inches. The Town is
capable of holding five Hundred Thousand Souls. The Houses are from three to
five Stories. The Shops and Markets well provided.
    The Emperor's Palace is in the Center of the City, where the two great
Streets meet. It is enclosed by a Wall of two Foot high, and Twenty Foot distant
from the Buildings. I had his Majesty's Permission to step over this Wall; and
the Space being so wide between that and the Palace, I could easily view it on
every Side. The outward Court is a Square of Forty Foot, and includes two other
Courts: In the inmost are the Royal Apartments, which I was very desirous to
see, but found it extremely difficult; for the great Gates, from one Square into
another, were but Eighteen Inches high, and seven Inches wide. Now the Buildings
of the outer Court were at least five Foot high; and it was impossible for me to
stride over them, without infinite Damage to the Pile, although the Walls were
strongly built of hewn Stone, and four Inches thick. At the same time, the
Emperor had a great Desire that I should see the Magnificence of his Palace: But
this I was not able to do till three Days after, which I spent in cutting down
with my Knife some of the largest Trees in the Royal Park, about an Hundred
Yards distant from the City. Of these Trees I made two Stools, each about three
Foot high, and strong enough to bear my Weight. The People having received
Notice a second time, I went again through the City to the Palace, with my two
Stools in my Hands. When I came to the Side of the outer Court, I stood upon one
Stool, and took the other in my Hand: This I lifted over the Roof, and gently
set it down on the Space between the first and second Court, which was eight
Foot wide. I then stepped over the Buildings very conveniently from one Stool to
the other, and drew up the first after me with a hooked Stick. By this
Contrivance I got into the inmost Court; and lying down upon my Side, I applied
my Face to the Windows of the middle Stories, which were left open on Purpose,
and discovered the most splendid Apartments that can be imagined. There I saw
the Empress, and the young Princes in their several Lodgings, with their chief
Attendants about them. Her Imperial Majesty was pleased to smile very graciously
upon me, and gave me out of the Window her Hand to kiss.
    But I shall not anticipate the Reader with farther Descriptions of this
Kind, because I reserve them for a greater Work, which is now almost ready for
the Press; containing a general Description of this Empire, from its first
Erection, through a long Series of Princes, with a particular Account of their
Wars and Politicks, Laws, Learning, and Religion; their Plants and Animals,
their peculiar Manners and Customs, with other Matters very curious and useful;
my chief Design at present being only to relate such Events and Transactions as
happened to the Publick, or to my self, during a Residence of about nine Months
in that Empire.
    One Morning, about a Fortnight after I had obtained my Liberty; Reldresal,
Principal Secretary (as they style him) of private Affairs, came to my House,
attended only by one Servant. He ordered his Coach to wait at a Distance, and
desired I would give him an Hour's Audience; which I readily consented to, on
Account of his Quality, and Personal Merits, as well as of the many good Offices
he had done me during my Sollicitations at Court. I offered to lie down, that he
might the more conveniently reach my Ear; but he chose rather to let me hold him
in my Hand during our Conversation. He began with Compliments on my Liberty;
said, he might pretend to some Merit in it; but, however, added, that if it had
not been for the present Situation of things at Court, perhaps I might not have
obtained it so soon. For, said he, as flourishing a Condition as we appear to be
in to Foreigners, we labour under two mighty Evils; a violent Faction at home,
and the Danger of an Invasion by a most potent Enemy from abroad. As to the
first, you are to understand, that for above seventy Moons past, there have been
two struggling Parties in this Empire, under the Names of Tramecksan, and
Slamecksan, from the high and low Heels on their Shoes, by which they
distinguish themselves.
    It is alleged indeed, that the high Heels are most agreeable to our ancient
Constitution: But however this be, his Majesty hath determined to make use of
only low Heels in the Administration of the Government, and all Offices in the
Gift of the Crown; as you cannot but observe; and particularly, that his
Majesty's Imperial Heels are lower at least by a Drurr than any of his Court; (
Drurr is a Measure about the fourteenth Part of an Inch.) The Animosities
between these two Parties run so high, that they will neither eat nor drink, nor
talk with each other. We compute the Tramecksan, or High-Heels, to exceed us in
Number; but the Power is wholly on our Side. We apprehend his Imperial Highness,
the Heir to the Crown, to have some Tendency towards the High-Heels; at least we
can plainly discover one of his Heels higher than the other; which gives him a
Hobble in his Gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine Disquiets, we are
threatened with an Invasion from the Island of Blefuscu, which is the other
great Empire of the Universe, almost as large and powerful as this of his
Majesty. For as to what we have heard you affirm, that there are other Kingdoms
and States in the World, inhabited by human Creatures as large as your self, our
Philosophers are in much Doubt; and would rather conjecture that you dropped from
the Moon, or one of the Stars; because it is certain, than an hundred Mortals of
your Bulk, would, in a short Time, destroy all the Fruits and Cattle of his
Majesty's Dominions. Besides, our Histories of six Thousand Moons make no
Mention of any other Regions, than the two great Empires of Lilliput and
Blefuscu. Which two mighty Powers have, as I was going to tell you, been engaged
in a most obstinate War for six and thirty Moons past. It began upon the
following Occasion. It is allowed on all Hands, that the primitive Way of
breaking Eggs before we eat them, was upon the larger End: But his present
Majesty's Grand-father, while he was a Boy, going to eat an Egg, and breaking it
according to the ancient Practice, happened to cut one of his Fingers. Whereupon
the Emperor his Father, published an Edict, commanding all his Subjects, upon
great Penalties, to break the smaller End of their Eggs. The People so highly
resented this Law, that our Histories tell us, there have been six Rebellions
raised on that Account; wherein one Emperor lost his Life, and another his
Crown. These civil Commotions were constantly fomented by the Monarchs of
Blefuscu; and when they were quelled, the Exiles always fled for Refuge to that
Empire. It is computed, that eleven Thousand Persons have, at several Times,
suffered Death, rather than submit to break their Eggs at the smaller End. Many
hundred large Volumes have been published upon this Controversy: But the Books
of the Big-Endians have been long forbidden, and the whole Party rendred
incapable by Law of holding Employments. During the Course of these Troubles,
the Emperors of Blefuscu did frequently expostulate by their Ambassadors,
accusing us of making a Schism in Religion, by offending against a fundamental
Doctrine of our great Prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth Chapter of the
Brundrecal, (which is their Alcoran.) This, however, is thought to be a meer
Strain upon the Text: For the Words are these; That all true Believers shall
break their Eggs at the convenient End: and which is the convenient End, seems,
in my humble Opinion, to be left to every Man's Conscience, or at least in the
Power of the chief Magistrate to determine. Now the Big-Endian Exiles have found
so much Credit in the Emperor of Blefuscu's Court; and so much private
Assistance and Encouragement from their Party here at home, that a bloody War
hath been carried on between the two Empires for six and thirty Moons with
various Success; during which Time we have lost Forty Capital Ships, and a much
greater Number of smaller Vessels, together with thirty thousand of our best
Seamen and Soldiers; and the Damage received by the Enemy is reckoned to be
somewhat greater than ours. However, they have now equipped a numerous Fleet,
and are just preparing to make a Descent upon us: And his Imperial Majesty,
placing great Confidence in your Valour and Strength, hath commanded me to lay
this Account of his Affairs before you.
    I desired the Secretary to present my humble Duty to the Emperor, and to let
him know, that I thought it would not become me, who was a Foreigner, to
interfere with Parties; but I was ready, with the Hazard of my Life, to defend
his Person and State against all Invaders.
 

                                    Chap. V.

The Author by an extraordinary Stratagem prevents an Invasion. A high Title of
Honour is conferred upon him. Ambassadors arrive from the Emperor of Blefuscu,
and sue for Peace. The Empress's Apartment on fire by an Accident; the Author
instrumental in saving the rest of the Palace.
 
The Empire of Blefuscu, is an Island situated to the North North-East Side of
Lilliput, from whence it is parted only by a Channel of eight Hundred Yards
wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this Notice of an intended Invasion, I
avoided appearing on that Side of the Coast, for fear of being discovered by
some of the Enemies Ships, who had received no Intelligence of me; all
intercourse between the two Empires having been strictly forbidden during the
War, upon Pain of Death; and an Embargo laid by our Emperor upon all Vessels
whatsoever. I communicated to his Majesty a Project I had formed of seizing the
Enemies whole Fleet; which, as our Scouts assured us, lay at Anchor in the
Harbour ready to sail with the first fair Wind. I consulted the most experienced
Seamen, upon the Depth of the Channel, which they had often plummed; who told
me, that in the Middle at high Water it was seventy Glumgluffs deep, which is
about six Foot of European Measure; and the rest of it fifty Glumgluffs at most.
I walked to the North-East Coast over against Blefuscu; where, lying down behind
a Hillock, I took out my small Pocket Perspective Glass, and viewed the Enemy's
Fleet at Anchor, consisting of about fifty Men of War, and a great Number of
Transports: I then came back to my House, and gave Order (for which I had a
Warrant) for a great Quantity of the strongest Cable and Bars of Iron. The Cable
was about as thick as Packthread, and the Bars of the Length and Size of a
Knitting-Needle. I trebled the Cable to make it stronger; and for the same
Reason I twisted three of the Iron Bars together, bending the Extremities into a
Hook. Having thus fixed fifty Hooks to as many Cables, I went back to the
North-East Coast, and putting off my Coat, Shoes, and Stockings, walked into the
Sea in my Leathern Jerken, about half an Hour before high Water. I waded with
what Haste I could, and swam in the Middle about thirty Yards until I felt the
Ground; I arrived at the Fleet in less than half an Hour. The Enemy was so
frighted when they saw me, that they leaped out of their Ships, and swam to
Shore; where there could not be fewer than thirty thousand Souls. I then took my
Tackling, and fastning a Hook to the Hole at the Prow of each, I tyed all the
Cords together at the End. While I was thus employed, the Enemy discharged
several Thousand Arrows, many of which stuck in my Hands and Face; and besides
the excessive Smart, gave me much Disturbance in my Work. My greatest
Apprehension was for mine Eyes, which I should have infallibly lost, if I had
not suddenly thought of an Expedient. I kept, among other little Necessaries, a
Pair of Spectacles in a private Pocket, which, as I observed before, had escaped
the Emperor's Searchers. These I took out, and fastened as strongly as I could
upon my Nose; and thus armed went on boldly with my Work in spite of the
Enemy's Arrows; many of which struck against the Glasses of my Spectacles, but
without any other Effect, further than a little to discompose them. I had now
fastened all the Hooks, and taking the Knot in my Hand, began to pull; but not a
Ship would stir, for they were all too fast held by their Anchors; so that the
boldest Part of my Enterprize remained. I therefore let go the Cord, and leaving
the Hooks fixed to the Ships, I resolutely cut with my Knife the Cables that
fastened the Anchors; receiving above two hundred Shots in my Face and Hands:
Then I took up the knotted End of the Cables to which my Hooks were tyed; and
with great Ease drew fifty of the Enemy's largest Men of War after me.
    The Blefuscudians, who had not the least Imagination of what I intended,
were at first confounded with Astonishment. They had seen me cut the Cables, and
thought my Design was only to let the Ships run a-drift, or fall foul on each
other: But when they perceived the whole Fleet moving in Order, and saw me
pulling at the End; they set up such a Scream of Grief and Dispair, that it is
almost impossible to describe or conceive. When I had got out of Danger, I stopped
a while to pick out the Arrows that stuck in my Hands and Face, and rubbed on
some of the same Ointment that was given me at my first Arrival, as I have
formerly mentioned. I then took off my Spectacles, and waiting about an Hour
until the Tyde was a little fallen, I waded through the Middle with my Cargo,
and arrived safe at the Royal Port of Lilliput.
    The Emperor and his whole Court stood on the Shore, expecting the Issue of
this great Adventure. They saw the Ships move forward in a large Half-Moon, but
could not discern me, who was up to my Breast in Water. When I advanced to the
Middle of the Channel, they were yet more in Pain because I was under Water to
my Neck. The Emperor concluded me to be drowned, and that the Enemy's Fleet was
approaching in a hostile Manner: But he was soon eased of his Fears; for the
Channel growing shallower every Step I made, I came in a short Time within
Hearing; and holding up the End of the Cable by which the Fleet was fastened, I
cryed in a loud Voice, Long live the most puissant Emperor of Lilliput! This
great Prince received me at my Landing with all possible Encomiums, and created
me a Nardac upon the Spot, which is the highest Title of Honour among them.
    His Majesty desired I would take some other Opportunity of bringing all the
rest of his Enemy's Ships into his Ports. And so unmeasurable is the Ambition of
Princes, that he seemed to think of nothing less than reducing the whole Empire
of Blefuscu into a Province, and governing it by a Viceroy; of destroying the
Big-Endian Exiles, and compelling that People to break the smaller End of their
Eggs; by which he would remain sole Monarch of the whole World. But I
endeavoured to divert him from this Design, by many Arguments drawn from the
Topicks of Policy as well as Justice: And I plainly protested, that I would
never be an Instrument of bringing a free and brave People into Slavery: And
when the Matter was debated in Council, the wisest Part of the Ministry were of
my Opinion.
    This open bold Declaration of mine was so opposite to the Schemes and
Politicks of his Imperial Majesty, that he could never forgive me: He mentioned
it in a very artful Manner at Council, where, I was told, that some of the
wisest appeared, at least by their Silence, to be of my Opinion; but others, who
were my secret Enemies, could not forbear some Expressions, which by a Side-wind
reflected on me. And from this Time began an Intrigue between his Majesty, and a
Junta of Ministers maliciously bent against me, which broke out in less than two
Months, and had like to have ended in my utter Destruction. Of so little Weight
are the greatest Services to Princes, when put into the Balance with a Refusal
to gratify their Passions.
    About three Weeks after this Exploit, there arrived a solemn Embassy from
Blefuscu, with humble Offers of a Peace; which was soon concluded upon
Conditions very advantageous to our Emperor; wherewith I shall not trouble the
Reader. There were six Ambassadors, with a Train of about five Hundred Persons;
and their Entry was very magnificent, suitable to the Grandeur of their Master,
and the Importance of their Business. When their Treaty was finished, wherein I
did them several good Offices by the Credit I now had, or at least appeared to
have at Court; their Excellencies, who were privately told how much I had been
their Friend, made me a Visit in Form. They began with many Compliments upon my
Valour and Generosity; invited me to that Kingdom in the Emperor their Master's
Name; and desired me to show them some Proofs of my prodigious Strength, of
which they had heard so many Wonders; wherein I readily obliged them, but shall
not interrupt the Reader with the Particulars.
    When I had for some time entertained their Excellencies to their infinite
Satisfaction and Surprise, I desired they would do me the Honour to present my
most humble Respects to the Emperor their Master, the Renown of whose Virtues
had so justly filled the whole World with Admiration, and whose Royal Person I
resolved to attend before I returned to my own Country. Accordingly, the next
time I had the Honour to see our Emperor, I desired his general Licence to wait
on the Blefuscudian Monarch, which he was pleased to grant me, as I could
plainly perceive, in a very cold Manner; but could not guess the Reason, till I
had a Whisper from a certain Person, that Flimnap and Bolgolam had represented
my Intercourse with those Ambassadors, as a Mark of Disaffection, from which I
am sure my Heart was wholly free. And this was the first time I began to
conceive some imperfect Idea of Courts and Ministers.
    It is to be observed, that these Ambassadors spoke to me by an Interpreter;
the Languages of both Empires differing as much from each other as any two in
Europe, and each Nation priding itself upon the Antiquity, Beauty, and Energy of
their own Tongues, with an avowed Contempt for that of their Neighbour: Yet our
Emperor standing upon the Advantage he had got by the Seizure of their Fleet,
obliged them to deliver their Credentials, and make their Speech in the
Lilliputian Tongue. And it must be confessed, that from the great Intercourse of
Trade and Commerce between both Realms; from the continual Reception of Exiles,
which is mutual among them; and from the Custom in each Empire to send their
young Nobility and richer Gentry to the other, in order to polish themselves, by
seeing the World, and understanding Men and Manners; there are few Persons of
Distinction, or Merchants, or Seamen, who dwell in the Maritime Parts, but what
can hold Conversation in both Tongues; as I found some Weeks after, when I went
to pay my Respects to the Emperor of Blefuscu, which in the Midst of great
Misfortunes, through the Malice of my Enemies, proved a very happy Adventure to
me, as I shall relate in its proper Place.
    The Reader may remember, that when I signed those Articles upon which I
recovered my Liberty, there were some which I disliked upon Account of their
being too servile, neither could any thing but an extreme Necessity have forced
me to submit. But being now a Nardac, of the highest Rank in that Empire, such
Offices were looked upon as below my Dignity; and the Emperor (to do him
Justice) never once mentioned them to me. However, it was not long before I had
an Opportunity of doing his Majesty, at least, as I then thought, a most signal
Service. I was alarmed at Midnight with the Cries of many Hundred People at my
Door; by which being suddenly awake, I was in some Kind of Terror. I heard the
Word Burglum repeated incessantly; several of the Emperor's Court making their
Way through the crowd, entreated me to come immediately to the Palace, where her
Imperial Majesty's Apartment was on fire, by the Carelessness of a Maid of
Honour, who fell asleep while she was reading a Romance. I got up in an Instant;
and Orders being given to clear the Way before me; and it being likewise a
Moonshine Night, I made a shift to get to the Palace without trampling on any of
the People. I found they had already applied Ladders to the Walls of the
Apartment, and were well provided with Buckets, but the Water was at some
Distance. These Buckets were about the Size of a large Thimble, and the poor
People supplied me with them as fast as they could; but the Flame was so
violent, that they did little Good. I might easily have stifled it with my Coat,
which I unfortunately left behind me for haste, and came away only in my
Leathern Jerkin. The Case seemed wholly desperate and deplorable; and this
magnificent Palace would have infallibly been burnt down to the Ground, if, by a
Presence of Mind, unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of an Expedient. I
had the Evening before drank plentifully of a most delicious Wine, called
Glimigrim, (the Blefuscudians call it Flunec, but ours is esteemed the better
Sort) which is very diuretick. By the luckiest Chance in the World, I had not
discharged myself of any Part of it. The Heat I had contracted by coming very
near the Flames, and by my labouring to quench them, made the Wine begin to
operate by Urine; which I voided in such a Quantity, and applied so well to the
proper Places, that in three Minutes the Fire was wholly extinguished; and the
rest of that noble Pile, which had cost so many Ages in erecting, preserved from
Destruction.
    It was now Day-light, and I returned to my House, without waiting to
congratulate with the Emperor; because, although I had done a very eminent Piece
of Service, yet I could not tell how his Majesty might resent the Manner by
which I had performed it: For, by the fundamental Laws of the Realm, it is
Capital in any Person, of what Quality soever, to make water within the
Precincts of the Palace. But I was a little comforted by a Message from his
Majesty, that he would give Orders to the Grand Justiciary for passing my Pardon
in Form; which, however, I could not obtain. And I was privately assured, that
the Empress conceiving the greatest Abhorrence of what I had done, removed to
the most distant Side of the Court, firmly resolved that those Buildings should
never be repaired for her Use; and, in the Presence of her chief Confidents,
could not forbear vowing Revenge.
 

                                   Chap. VI.

Of the Inhabitants of Lilliput; their Learning, Laws, and Customs. The Manner of
Educating their Children. The Author's Way of living in that Country. His
Vindication of a great Lady.
 
Although I intend to leave the Description of this Empire to a particular
Treatise, yet in the mean time I am content to gratify the curious Reader with
some general Ideas. As the common Size of the Natives is somewhat under six
Inches, so there is an exact Proportion in all other Animals, as well as Plants
and Trees: For Instance, the tallest Horses and Oxen are between four and five
Inches in Height, the Sheep an Inch and a half, more or less; their Geese about
the Bigness of a Sparrow; and so the several Gradations downwards, till you come
to the smallest, which, to my Sight, were almost invisible; but Nature hath
adapted the Eyes of the Lilliputians to all Objects proper for their View: They
see with great Exactness, but at no great Distance. And to show the Sharpness of
their Sight towards Objects that are near, I have been much pleased with
observing a Cook pulling a Lark, which was not so large as a common Fly; and a
young Girl threading an invisible Needle with invisible Silk. Their tallest
Trees are about seven Foot high; I mean some of those in the great Royal Park,
the Tops whereof I could but just reach with my Fist clinched. The other
Vegetables are in the same Proportion: But this I leave to the Reader's
Imagination.
    I shall say but little at present of their Learning, which for many Ages
hath flourished in all its Branches among them: But their Manner of Writing is
very peculiar; being neither from the Left to the Right, like the Europeans; nor
from the Right to the Left, like the Arabians; nor from up to down, like the
Chinese; nor from down to up, like the Cascagians; but aslant from one Corner of
the Paper to the other, like Ladies in England.
    They bury their Dead with their Heads directly downwards; because they hold
an Opinion, that in eleven Thousand Moons they are all to rise again; in which
Period, the Earth (which they conceive to be flat) will turn upside down, and by
this Means they shall, at their Resurrection, be found ready standing on their
Feet. The Learned among them confess the Absurdity of this Doctrine; but the
Practice still continues, in Compliance to the Vulgar.
    There are some Laws and Customs in this Empire very peculiar; and if they
were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear Country, I should be
tempted to say a little in their Justification. It is only to be wished, that
they were as well executed. The first I shall mention, relateth to Informers.
All Crimes against the State, are punished here with the utmost Severity; but if
the Person accused make his Innocence plainly to appear upon his Tryal, the
Accuser is immediately put to an ignominious Death; and out of his Goods or
Lands, the innocent Person is quadruply recompensed for the Loss of his Time,
for the Danger he underwent, for the Hardship of his Imprisonment, and for all
the Charges he hath been at in making his Defence. Or, if that Fund be
deficient, it is largely supplyed by the Crown. The Emperor doth also confer on
him some public Mark of his Favour; and Proclamation is made of his Innocence
through the whole City.
    They look upon Fraud as a greater Crime than Theft, and therefore seldom
fail to punish it with Death: For they alledge, that Care and Vigilance, with a
very common Understanding, may preserve a Man's Goods from Thieves; but Honesty
hath no Fence against superior Cunning: And since it is necessary that there
should be a perpetual Intercourse of buying and selling, and dealing upon
Credit; where Fraud is permitted or connived at, or hath no Law to punish it,
the honest Dealer is always undone, and the Knave gets the Advantage. I remember
when I was once interceeding with the King for a Criminal who had wronged his
Master of a great Sum of Money, which he had received by Order, and ran away
with; and happening to tell his Majesty, by way of Extenuation, that it was only
a Breach of Trust; the Emperor thought it monstrous in me to offer, as a
Defence, the greatest Aggravation of the Crime: And truly, I had little to say
in Return, farther than the common Answer, that different Nations had different
Customs; for, I confess, I was heartily ashamed.
    Although we usually call Reward and Punishment, the two Hinges upon which
all Government turns; yet I could never observe this Maxim to be put in Practice
by any Nation, except that of Lilliput. Whoever can there bring sufficient Proof
that he hath strictly observed the Laws of his Country for Seventy-three Moons,
hath a Claim to certain Privileges, according to his Quality and Condition of
Life, with a proportionable Sum of Money out of a Fund appropriated for that
Use: He likewise acquires the Title of Snilpall, or Legal, which is added to his
Name, but doth not descend to his Posterity. And these People thought it a
prodigious Defect of Policy among us, when I told them that our Laws were
enforced only by Penalties, without any Mention of Reward. It is upon this
account that the Image of Justice, in their Courts of Judicature, is formed with
six Eyes, two before, as many behind, and on each Side one, to signify
Circumspection; with a Bag of Gold open in her right Hand, and a Sword sheathed
in her left, to show she is more disposed to reward than to punish.
    In choosing Persons for all Employments, they have more Regard to good Morals
than to great Abilities: For, since Government is necessary to Mankind, they
believe that the common Size of human Understandings, is fitted to some Station
or other; and that Providence never intended to make the Management of public
Affairs a Mystery, to be comprehended only by a few Persons of sublime Genius,
of which there seldom are three born in an Age: But, they suppose Truth,
Justice, Temperance, and the like, to be in every Man's Power; the Practice of
which Virtues, assisted by Experience and a good Intention, would qualify any
Man for the Service of his Country, except where a Course of Study is required.
But they thought the Want of Moral Virtues was so far from being supplied by
superior Endowments of the Mind, that Employments could never be put into such
dangerous Hands as those of Persons so qualified; and at least, that the
Mistakes committed by Ignorance in a virtuous Disposition, would never be of
such fatal Consequence to the Publick Weal, as the Practices of a Man, whose
Inclinations led him to be corrupt, and had great Abilities to manage, to
multiply, and defend his Corruptions.
    In like Manner, the Disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a Man uncapable
of holding any public Station: For, since Kings avow themselves to be the
Deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think nothing can be more absurd than
for a Prince to employ such Men as disown the Authority under which he acteth.
    In relating these and the following Laws, I would only be understood to mean
the original Institutions, and not the most scandalous Corruptions into which
these People are fallen by the degenerate Nature of Man. For as to that infamous
Practice of acquiring great Employments by dancing on the Ropes, or Badges of
Favour and Distinction by leaping over Sticks, and creeping under them; the
Reader is to observe, that they were first introduced by the Grand-father of the
Emperor now reigning; and grew to the present Height, by the gradual Increase of
Party and Faction.
    Ingratitude is among them a capital Crime, as we read it to have been in
some other Countries: For they reason thus; that whoever makes ill Returns to
his Benefactor, must needs be a common Enemy to the rest of Mankind, from whom
he hath received no Obligation; and therefore such a Man is not fit to live.
    Their Notions relating to the Duties of Parents and Children differ
extremely from ours. For, since the Conjunction of Male and Female is founded
upon the great Law of Nature, in order to propagate and continue the Species;
the Lilliputians will needs have it, that Men and Women are joined together like
other Animals, by the Motives of Concupiscence; and that their Tenderness
towards their Young, proceedeth from the like natural Principle: For which
Reason they will never allow, that a Child is under any Obligation to his Father
for begetting him, or to his Mother for bringing him into the World; which,
considering the Miseries of human Life, was neither a Benefit in itself, nor
intended so by his Parents, whose Thoughts in their Love-encounters were
otherwise employed. Upon these, and the like Reasonings, their Opinion is, that
Parents are the last of all others to be trusted with the Education of their own
Children: And therefore they have in every Town public Nurseries, where all
Parents, except Cottagers and Labourers, are obliged to send their Infants of
both Sexes to be reared and educated when they come to the Age of twenty Moons;
at which Time they are supposed to have some Rudiments of Docility. These
Schools are of several kinds, suited to different Qualities, and to both Sexes.
They have certain Professors well skilled in preparing Children for such a
Condition of Life as befits the Rank of their Parents, and their own Capacities
as well as Inclinations. I shall first say something of the Male Nurseries, and
then of the Female.
    The Nurseries for Males of Noble or Eminent Birth, are provided with grave
and learned Professors, and their several Deputies. The Clothes and Food of the
Children are plain and simple. They are bred up in the Principles of Honour,
Justice, Courage, Modesty, Clemency, Religion, and Love of their Country: They
are always employed in some Business, except in the Times of eating and
sleeping, which are very short, and two Hours for Diversions, consisting of
bodily Exercises. They are dressed by Men until four Years of Age, and then are
obliged to dress themselves, although their Quality be ever so great; and the
Women Attendants, who are aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the
most menial Offices. They are never suffered to converse with Servants, but go
together in small or greater Numbers to take their Diversions, and always in the
Presence of a Professor, or one of his Deputies; whereby they avoid those early
bad Impressions of Folly and Vice to which our Children are subject. Their
Parents are suffered to see them only twice a Year; the Visit is not to last
above an Hour; they are allowed to kiss the Child at Meeting and Parting; but a
Professor, who always standeth by on those Occasions, will not suffer them to
whisper, or use any fondling Expressions, or bring any Presents of Toys,
Sweet-meats, and the like.
    The Pension from each Family for the Education and Entertainment of a Child,
upon Failure of due Payment, is levyed by the Emperor's Officers.
    The Nurseries for Children of ordinary Gentlemen, Merchants, Traders, and
Handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same Manner; only those
designed for Trades, are put out Apprentices at seven Years old; whereas those
of Persons of Quality continue in their Exercises until Fifteen, which answers
to One and Twenty with us: But the Confinement is gradually lessened for the
last three Years.
    In the Female Nurseries, the young Girls of Quality are educated much like
the Males, only they are dressed by orderly Servants of their own Sex, but
always in the Presence of a Professor or Deputy, until they come to dress
themselves, which is at five Years old. And if it be found that these Nurses
ever presume to entertain the Girls with frightful or foolish Stories, or the
common Follies practised by Chamber-Maids among us; they are publicly whipped
thrice about the City, imprisoned for a Year, and banished for Life to the most
desolate Part of the Country. Thus the young Ladies there are as much ashamed of
being Cowards and Fools, as the Men; and despise all personal Ornaments beyond
Decency and Cleanliness; neither did I perceive any Difference in their
Education, made by their Difference of Sex, only that the Exercises of the
Females were not altogether so robust; and that some Rules were given them
relating to domestick Life, and a smaller Compass of Learning was enjoyned them:
For, their Maxim is, that among People of Quality, a Wife should be always a
reasonable and agreeable Companion, because she cannot always be young. When the
Girls are twelve Years old, which among them is the marriageable Age, their
Parents or Guardians take them home, with great Expressions of Gratitude to the
Professors, and seldom without Tears of the young Lady and her Companions.
    In the Nurseries of Females of the meaner Sort, the Children are instructed
in all Kinds of Works proper for their Sex, and their several Degrees: Those
intended for Apprentices are dismissed at seven Years old, the rest are kept to
eleven.
    The meaner Families who have Children at these Nurseries, are obliged,
besides their annual Pension, which is as low as possible, to return to the
Steward of the Nursery a small Monthly Share of their Gettings, to be a Portion
for the Child; and therefore all Parents are limited in their Expenses by the
Law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can be more unjust, than that People, in
Subservience to their own Appetites, should bring Children into the World, and
leave the Burthen of supporting them on the Publick. As to Persons of Quality,
they give Security to appropriate a certain Sum for each Child, suitable to
their Condition; and these Funds are always managed with good Husbandry, and the
most exact Justice.
    The Cottagers and Labourers keep their Children at home, their Business
being only to till and cultivate the Earth; and therefore their Education is of
little Consequence to the Publick; but the Old and Diseased among them are
supported by Hospitals: For begging is a Trade unknown in this Empire.
    And here it may perhaps divert the curious Reader, to give some Account of
my Domestick, and my Manner of living in this Country, during a Residence of
nine Months and thirteen Days. Having a Head mechanically turned, and being
likewise forced by Necessity, I had made for myself a Table and Chair convenient
enough, out of the largest Trees in the Royal Park. Two hundred Sempstresses
were employed to make me Shirts, and Linnen for my Bed and Table, all of the
strongest and coarsest kind they could get; which, however, they were forced to
quilt together in several Folds; for the thickest was some Degrees finer than
Lawn. Their Linnen is usually three Inches wide, and three Foot make a Piece.
The Sempstresses took my Measure as I lay on the Ground, one standing at my
Neck, and another at my Mid-Leg, with a strong Cord extended, that each held by
the End, while the third measured the Length of the Cord with a Rule of an Inch
long. Then they measured my right Thumb, and desired no more; for by a
mathematical Computation, that twice round the Thumb is once round the Wrist,
and so on to the Neck and the Waist; and by the Help of my old Shirt, which I
displayed on the Ground before them for a Pattern, they fitted me exactly. Three
hundred Taylors were employed in the same Manner to make me Clothes; but they
had another Contrivance for taking my Measure. I kneeled down, and they raised a
Ladder from the Ground to my Neck; upon this Ladder one of them mounted, and let
fall a Plum-Line from my Collar to the Floor, which just answered the Length of
my Coat; but my Waist and Arms I measured myself. When my clothes were finished,
which was done in my House, (for the largest of theirs would not have been able
to hold them) they looked like the Patch-work made by the Ladies in England,
only that mine were all of a Colour.
    I had three hundred Cooks to dress my Victuals, in little convenient Huts
built about my House, where they and their Families lived, and prepared me two
Dishes a-piece. I took up twenty Waiters in my Hand, and placed them on the
Table; an hundred more attended below on the Ground, some with Dishes of Meat,
and some with Barrels of Wine, and other Liquors, slung on their Shoulders; all
which the Waiters above drew up as I wanted, in a very ingenious Manner, by
certain Cords, as we draw the Bucket up a Well in Europe. A Dish of their Meat
was a good Mouthful, and a Barrel of their Liquor a reasonable Draught. Their
Mutton yields to ours, but their Beef is excellent. I have had a Sirloin so
large, that I have been forced to make three Bits of it; but this is rare. My
Servants were astonished to see me eat it Bones and all, as in our Country we do
the Leg of a Lark. Their Geese and Turkeys I usually eat at a Mouthful, and I
must confess they far exceed ours. Of their smaller Fowl I could take up twenty
or thirty at the End of my Knife.
    One Day his Imperial Majesty being informed of my Way of living, desired
that himself, and his Royal Consort; with the young Princes of the Blood of both
Sexes, might have the Happiness (as he was pleased to call it) of dining with
me. They came accordingly, and I placed them upon Chairs of State on my Table,
just over against me, with their Guards about them. Flimnap the Lord High
Treasurer attended there likewise, with his white Staff; and I observed he often
looked on me with a sour Countenance, which I would not seem to regard, but eat
more than usual, in Honour to my dear Country, as well as to fill the Court with
Admiration. I have some private Reasons to believe, that this Visit from his
Majesty gave Flimnap an Opportunity of doing me ill Offices to his Master. That
Minister had always been my secret Enemy, although he outwardly caressed me more
than was usual to the Moroseness of his Nature. He represented to the Emperor
the low Condition of his Treasury; that he was forced to take up Money at great
Discount; that Exchequer Bills would not circulate under nine per Cent. below
Par; that I had cost his Majesty above a Million and a half of Sprugs, (their
greatest Gold Coin, about the Bigness of a Spangle;) and upon the whole, that it
would be advisable in the Emperor to take the first fair Occasion of dismissing
me.
    I am here obliged to vindicate the Reputation of an excellent Lady, who was
an innocent Sufferer upon my Account. The Treasurer took a Fancy to be jealous
of his Wife, from the Malice of some evil Tongues, who informed him that her
Grace had taken a violent Affection for my Person; and the Court-Scandal ran for
some Time that she once came privately to my Lodging. This I solemnly declare to
be a most infamous falsehood, without any Grounds, farther than that her Grace
was pleased to treat me with all innocent Marks of Freedom and Friendship. I own
she came often to my House, but always publicly, nor ever without three more in
the Coach, who were usually her Sister, and young Daughter, and some particular
Acquaintance; but this was common to many other Ladies of the Court. And I still
appeal to my Servants round, whether they at any Time saw a Coach at my Door
without knowing what Persons were in it. On those Occasions, when a Servant had
given me Notice, my Custom was to go immediately to the Door; and after paying
my Respects, to take up the Coach and two Horses very carefully in my Hands,
(for if there were six Horses, the Postillion always unharnessed four) and place
them on a Table, where I had fixed a moveable Rim quite round, of five Inches
high, to prevent Accidents. And I have often had four Coaches and Horses at once
on my Table full of Company, while I sat in my Chair leaning my Face towards
them; and when I was engaged with one Sett, the Coachmen would gently drive the
others round my Table. I have passed many an Afternoon very agreeably in these
Conversations: But I defy the Treasurer, or his two Informers. (I will name
them, and let them make their best of it) Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any
Person ever came to me incognito, except the Secretary Reldresal, who was sent
by express Command of his Imperial Majesty, as I have before related. I should
not have dwelt so long upon this Particular, if it had not been a Point wherein
the Reputation of a great Lady is so nearly concerned; to say nothing of my own;
although I had the Honour to be a Nardac, which the Treasurer himself is not;
for all the World knows he is only a Clumglum, a Title inferior by one Degree,
as that of a Marquess is to a Duke in England; yet I allow he preceded me in
right of his Post. These false Informations, which I afterwards came to the
Knowledge of, by an Accident not proper to mention, made the Treasurer show his
Lady for some Time an ill Countenance, and me a worse: For although he were at
last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost all Credit with him; and found
my Interest decline very fast with the Emperor himself, who was indeed too much
governed by that Favourite.
 

                                   Chap. VII.

The Author being informed of a Design to accuse him of High Treason, makes his
Escape to Blefuscu. His Reception there.
 
Before I proceed to give an Account of my leaving this Kingdom, it may be proper
to inform the Reader of a private Intrigue which had been for two Months forming
against me.
    I had been hitherto all my Life a Stranger to Courts, for which I was
unqualified by the Meanness of my Condition. I had indeed heard and read enough
of the Dispositions of great Princes and Ministers; but never expected to have
found such terrible Effects of them in so remote a Country, governed, as I
thought, by very different Maxims from those in Europe.
    When I was just preparing to pay my Attendance on the Emperor of Blefuscu; a
considerable Person at Court (to whom I had been very serviceable at a time when
he lay under the highest Displeasure of his Imperial Majesty) came to my House
very privately at Night in a close Chair, and without sending his Name, desired
Admittance: The Chair-men were dismissed; I put the Chair, with his Lordship in
it, into my Coat-Pocket; and giving Orders to a trusty Servant to say I was
indisposed and gone to sleep, I fastened the Door of my House, placed the Chair
on the Table, according to my usual Custom, and sat down by it. After the common
Salutations were over, observing his Lordship's Countenance full of Concern; and
enquiring into the Reason, he desired I would hear him with Patience, in a
Matter that highly concerned my Honour and my Life. His Speech was to the
following Effect, for I took Notes of it as soon as he left me.
 
You are to know, said he, that several Committees of Council have been lately
called in the most private Manner on your Account: And it is but two Days since
his Majesty came to a full Resolution.
    You are very sensible that Skyris Bolgolam (Galbet, or High Admiral) hath
been your mortal Enemy almost ever since your Arrival. His original Reasons I
know not; but his Hatred is much increased since your great Success against
Blefuscu, by which his Glory, as Admiral, is obscured. This Lord, in Conjunction
with Flimnap the High Treasurer, whose Enmity against you is notorious on
Account of his Lady; Limtoc the General, Lalcon the Chamberlain, and Balmuff the
grand Justiciary, have prepared Articles of Impeachment against you, for
Treason, and other capital Crimes.
    This Preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own Merits and
Innocence, that I was going to interrupt; when he entreated me to be silent; and
thus proceeded.
    Out of Gratitude for the Favours you have done me, I procured Information of
the whole Proceedings, and a Copy of the Articles, wherein I venture my Head for
your Service.
 

     Articles of Impeachment against Quinbus Flestrin, (the Man-Mountain.)

                                   Article I.

Whereas, by a Statute made in the Reign of his Imperial Majesty Calin Deffar
Plune, it is enacted, That whoever shall make water within the Precincts of the
Royal Palace, shall be liable to the Pains and Penalties of High Treason:
Notwithstanding, the said Quinbus Flestrin, in open Breach of the said Law,
under Colour of extinguishing the Fire kindled in the Apartment of his Majesty's
most dear Imperial Consort, did maliciously, traitorously, and devilishly, by
discharge of his Urine, put out the said Fire kindled in the said Apartment,
lying and being within the Precincts of the said Royal Palace; against the
Statute in that Case provided, etc. against the Duty, etc.
 

                                  Article II.

That the said Quinbus Flestrin having brought the Imperial Fleet of Blefuscu
into the Royal Port, and being afterwards commanded by his Imperial Majesty to
seize all the other Ships of the said Empire of Blefuscu, and reduce that Empire
to a Province, to be governed by a Vice-Roy from hence; and to destroy and put
to death not only all the Big-Endian Exiles, but likewise all the People of that
Empire, who would not immediately forsake the Big-Endian Heresy: He the said
Flestrin, like a false Traitor against his most Auspicious, Serene, Imperial
Majesty, did petition to be excused from the said Service, upon Pretence of
Unwillingness to force the Consciences, or destroy the Liberties and Lives of an
innocent People.
 



                                  Article III.

 
That, whereas certain Embassadors arrived from the Court of Blefuscu to sue for
Peace in his Majesty's Court: He the said Flestrin did, like a false Traitor,
aid, abet, comfort, and divert the said Embassadors; although he knew them to be
Servants to a Prince who was lately an open Enemy to his Imperial Majesty, and
in open War against his said Majesty.
 

                                  Article IV.

That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the Duty of a faithful Subject, is
now preparing to make a Voyage to the Court and Empire of Blefuscu, for which he
hath received only verbal Licence from his Imperial Majesty; and under Colour of
the said Licence, doth falsely and traitorously intend to take the said Voyage,
and thereby to aid, comfort, and abet the Emperor of Blefuscu, so late an Enemy,
and in open War with his Imperial Majesty aforesaid.
 
There are some other Articles, but these are the most important, of which I have
read you an Abstract.
    In the several Debates upon this Impeachment, it must be confessed that his
Majesty gave many Marks of his great Lenity; often urging the Services you had
done him, and endeavouring to extenuate your Crimes. The Treasurer and Admiral
insisted that you should be put to the most painful and ignominious Death, by
setting Fire on your House at Night; and the General was to attend with Twenty
Thousand Men armed with poisoned Arrows, to shoot you on the Face and Hands.
Some of your Servants were to have private Orders to strew a poisonous Juice on
your Shirts and Sheets, which would soon make you tear your own Flesh, and die
in the utmost Torture. The General came into the same Opinion; so that for a
long time there was a Majority against you. But his Majesty resolving, if
possible, to spare your Life, at last brought off the Chamberlain.
    Upon this Incident, Reldresal, principal Secretary for private Affairs, who
always approved himself your true Friend, was commanded by the Emperor to
deliver his Opinion, which he accordingly did; and therein justified the good
Thoughts you have of him. He allowed your Crimes to be great; but that still
there was room for Mercy, the most commendable Virtue in a Prince, and for which
his Majesty was so justly celebrated. He said, the Friendship between you and
him was so well known to the World, that perhaps the most honourable Board might
think him partial: However, in Obedience to the Command he had received, he
would freely offer his Sentiments. That if his Majesty, in Consideration of your
Services, and pursuant to his own merciful Disposition, would please to spare
your Life, and only give order to put out both your Eyes; he humbly conceived,
that by this Expedient, Justice might in some measure be satisfied, and all the
World would applaud the Lenity of the Emperor, as well as the fair and generous
Proceedings of those who have the Honour to be his Counsellors. That the Loss of
your Eyes would be no Impediment to your bodily Strength, by which you might
still be useful to his Majesty. That Blindness is an Addition to Courage, by
concealing Dangers from us; that the Fear you had for your Eyes, was the
greatest Difficulty in bringing over the Enemy's Fleet; and it would be
sufficient for you to see by the Eyes of the Ministers, since the greatest
Princes do no more.
    This Proposal was received with the utmost Disapprobation by the whole
Board. Bolgolam, the Admiral, could not preserve his Temper; but rising up in
Fury, said, he wondered how the Secretary durst presume to give his Opinion for
preserving the Life of a Traytor: That the Services you had performed, were, by
all true Reasons of State, the great Aggravation of your Crimes; that you, who
were able to extinguish the Fire, by discharge of Urine in her Majesty's
Apartment (which he mentioned with Horror) might, at another time, raise an
Inundation by the same Means, to drown the whole Palace; and the same Strength
which enabled you to bring over the Enemy's Fleet, might serve, upon the first
Discontent, to carry it back: That he had good Reasons to think you were a
Big-Endian in your Heart; and as Treason begins in the Heart before it appears
in Overt-Acts; so he accused you as a Traytor on that Account, and therefore
insisted you should be put to death.
    The Treasurer was of the same Opinion; he showed to what Streights his
Majesty's Revenue was reduced by the Charge of maintaining you, which would soon
grow insupportable: That the Secretary's Expedient of putting out your Eyes, was
so far from being a Remedy against this Evil, that it would probably increase
it; as it is manifest from the common Practice of blinding some Kind of Fowl,
after which they fed the faster, and grew sooner fat: That his sacred Majesty,
and the Council, who are your Judges, were in their own Consciences fully
convinced of your Guilt; which was a sufficient Argument to condemn you to
death, without the formal Proofs required by the strict Letter of the Law.
    But his Imperial Majesty fully determined against capital Punishment, was
graciously pleased to say, that since the Council thought the Loss of your Eyes
too easy a Censure, some other may be inflicted hereafter. And your Friend the
Secretary humbly desiring to be heard again, in Answer to what the Treasurer had
objected concerning the great Charge his Majesty was at in maintaining you;
said, that his Excellency, who had the sole Disposal of the Emperor's Revenue,
might easily provide against this Evil, by gradually lessening your
Establishment; by which, for want of sufficient Food, you would grow weak and
faint, and lose your Appetite, and consequently decay and consume in a few
Months; neither would the Stench of your Carcass be then so dangerous, when it
should become more than half diminished; and immediately upon your Death, five
or six Thousand of his Majesty's Subjects might, in two or three Days, cut your
Flesh from your Bones, take it away by Cart-loads, and bury it in distant Parts
to prevent Infection; leaving the Skeleton as a Monument of Admiration to
Posterity.
    Thus by the great Friendship of the Secretary, the whole Affair was
compromised. It was strictly enjoined, that the Project of starving you by
Degrees should be kept a Secret; but the Sentence of putting out your Eyes was
entered on the Books; none dissenting except Bolgolam the Admiral, who being a
Creature of the Empress, was perpetually instigated by her Majesty to insist
upon your Death; she having born perpetual Malice against you, on Account of
that infamous and illegal Method you took to extinguish the Fire in her
Apartment.
    In three Days your Friend the Secretary will be directed to come to your
House, and read before you the Articles of Impeachment; and then to signify the
great Lenity and Favour of his Majesty and Council; whereby you are only
condemned to the Loss of your Eyes, which his Majesty doth not question you will
gratefully and humbly submit to; and Twenty of his Majesty's Surgeons will
attend, in order to see the Operation well performed, by discharging very sharp
pointed Arrows into the Balls of your Eyes, as you lie on the Ground.
    I leave to your Prudence what Measures you will take; and to avoid
Suspicion, I must immediately return in as private a Manner as I came.
    His Lordship did so, and I remained alone, under many Doubts and
Perplexities of Mind.
    It was a Custom introduced by this Prince and his Ministry, (very different,
as I have been assured, from the Practices of former Times) that after the Court
had decreed any cruel Execution, either to gratify the Monarch's Resentment, or
the Malice of a Favourite; the Emperor always made a Speech to his whole
Council, expressing his great Lenity and Tenderness, as Qualities known and
confessed by all the World. This Speech was immediately published through the
Kingdom; nor did any thing terrify the People so much as those Encomiums on his
Majesty's Mercy; because it was observed, that the more these Praises were
enlarged and insisted on, the more inhuman was the Punishment, and the Sufferer
more innocent. Yet, as to myself, I must confess, having never been designed for
a Courtier, either by my Birth or Education, I was so ill a Judge of Things,
that I could not discover the Lenity and Favour of this Sentence; but conceived
it (perhaps erroneously) rather to be rigorous than gentle. I sometimes thought
of standing my Tryal; for although I could not deny the Facts alleged in the
several Articles, yet I hoped they would admit of some Extenuations. But having
in my Life perused many State-Tryals, which I ever observed to terminate as the
Judges thought fit to direct; I durst not rely on so dangerous a Decision, in so
critical a Juncture, and against such powerful Enemies. Once I was strongly bent
upon Resistance: For while I had Liberty, the whole Strength of that Empire
could hardly subdue me, and I might easily with Stones pelt the Metropolis to
Pieces: But I soon rejected that Project with Horror, by remembering the Oath I
had made to the Emperor, the Favours I received from him, and the high Title of
Nardac he conferred upon me. Neither had I so soon learned the Gratitude of
Courtiers, to persuade myself that his Majesty's present Severities acquitted me
of all past Obligations.
    At last I fixed upon a Resolution, for which it is probable I may incur some
Censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe the preserving mine Eyes, and
consequently my Liberty, to my own great Rashness and Want of Experience:
Because if I had then known the Nature of Princes and Ministers, which I have
since observed in many other Courts, and their Methods of treating Criminals
less obnoxious than myself; I should with great Alacrity and Readiness have
submitted to so easy a Punishment. But hurried on by the Precipitancy of Youth;
and having his Imperial Majesty's Licence to pay my Attendance upon the Emperor
of Blefuscu; I took this Opportunity, before the three Days were elapsed, to
send a Letter to my Friend the Secretary, signifying my Resolution of setting
out that Morning for Blefuscu, pursuant to the Leave I had got; and without
waiting for an Answer, I went to that Side of the Island where our Fleet lay. I
seized a large Man of War, tied a Cable to the Prow, and lifting up the Anchors,
I stripped myself, put my clothes (together with my Coverlet, which I carryed
under my Arm) into the Vessel; and drawing it after me, between wading and
swimming, arrived at the Royal Port of Blefuscu, where the People had long
expected me: They lent me two Guides to direct me to the Capital City, which is
of the same Name; I held them in my Hands until I came within two Hundred Yards
of the Gate; and desired them to signify my Arrival to one of the Secretaries,
and let him know, I there waited his Majesty's Commands. I had an Answer in
about an Hour, that his Majesty, attended by the Royal Family, and great
Officers of the Court, was coming out to receive me. I advanced a Hundred Yards;
the Emperor, and his Train, alighted from their Horses, the Empress and Ladies
from their Coaches; and I did not perceive they were in any Fright or Concern. I
lay on the Ground to kiss his Majesty's and the Empress's Hand. I told his
Majesty, that I was come according to my Promise, and with the Licence of the
Emperor my Master, to have the Honour of seeing so mighty a Monarch, and to
offer him any Service in my Power, consistent with my Duty to my own Prince; not
mentioning a Word of my Disgrace, because I had hitherto no regular Information
of it, and might suppose myself wholly ignorant of any such Design; neither
could I reasonably conceive that the Emperor would discover the Secret while I
was out of his Power: Wherein, however, it soon appeared I was deceived.
    I shall not trouble the Reader with the particular Account of my Reception
at this Court, which was suitable to the Generosity of so great a Prince; nor of
the Difficulties I was in for want of a House and Bed, being forced to lie on
the Ground, wrapt up in my Coverlet.
 

                                  Chap. VIII.

The Author, by a lucky Accident, finds Means to leave Blefuscu; and, after some
Difficulties, returns safe to his Native Country.
 
Three Days after my Arrival, walking out of Curiosity to the North-East Coast of
the Island; I observed, about half a League off, in the Sea, somewhat that
looked like a Boat overturned: I pulled off my Shoes and Stockings, and wading
two or three Hundred Yards, I found the Object to approach nearer by Force of
the Tide; and then plainly saw it to be a real Boat, which I supposed might, by
some Tempest, have been driven from a Ship. Whereupon I returned immediately
towards the City, and desired his Imperial Majesty to lend me Twenty of the
tallest Vessels he had left after the Loss of his Fleet, and three Thousand
Seamen under the Command of his Vice-Admiral. This Fleet sailed round, while I
went back the shortest Way to the Coast where I first discovered the Boat; I
found the Tide had driven it still nearer; the Seamen were all provided with
Cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient Strength. When the Ships
came up, I stripped myself, and waded till I came within an Hundred Yards of the
Boat; after which I was forced to swim till I got up to it. The Seamen threw me
the End of the Cord, which I fastened to a Hole in the forepart of the Boat, and
the other End to a Man of War: But I found all my Labour to little Purpose; for
being out of my Depth, I was not able to work. In this Necessity, I was forced
to swim behind, and push the Boat forwards as often as I could, with one of my
Hands; and the Tide favouring me, I advanced so far, that I could just hold up
my Chin and feel the Ground. I rested two or three Minutes, and then gave the
Boat another Shove, and so on till the Sea was no higher than my Arm-pits. And
now the most laborious Part being over, I took out my other Cables which were
stowed in one of the Ships, and fastening them first to the Boat, and then to
nine of the Vessels which attended me; the Wind being favourable, the Seamen
towed, and I shoved till we arrived within forty Yards of the Shore; and waiting
till the Tide was out, I got dry to the Boat, and by the Assistance of two
Thousand Men, with Ropes and Engines, I made a shift to turn it on its Bottom,
and found it was but little damaged.
    I shall not trouble the Reader with the Difficulties I was under by the Help
of certain Paddles, which cost me ten Days making, to get my Boat to the Royal
Port of Blefuscu; where a mighty Concourse of People appeared upon my Arrival,
full of Wonder at the Sight of so prodigious a Vessel. I told the Emperor, that
my good Fortune had thrown this Boat in my Way, to carry me to some Place from
whence I might return into my native Country; and begged his Majesty's Orders
for getting Materials to fit it up; together with his Licence to depart; which,
after some kind Expostulations, he was pleased to grant.
    I did very much wonder, in all this Time, not to have heard of any Express
relating to me from our Emperor to the Court of Blefuscu. But I was afterwards
given privately to understand, that his Imperial Majesty, never imagining I had
the least Notice of his Designs, believed I was only gone to Blefuscu in
Performance of my Promise, according to the Licence he had given me, which was
well known at our Court; and would return in a few Days when that Ceremony was
ended. But he was at last in pain at my long absence; and, after consulting with
the Treasurer, and the rest of that Cabal; a Person of Quality was dispatched
with the Copy of the Articles against me. This Envoy had Instructions to
represent to the Monarch of Blefuscu, the great Lenity of his Master, who was
content to punish me no further than with the Loss of mine Eyes: That I had fled
from Justice, and if I did not return in two Hours, I should be deprived of my
Title of Nardac, and declared a Traitor. The Envoy further added; that in order
to maintain the Peace and Amity between both Empires, his Master expected, that
his Brother of Blefuscu would give Orders to have me sent back to Lilliput,
bound Hand and Foot, to be punished as a Traitor.
    The Emperor of Blefuscu having taken three Days to consult, returned an
Answer consisting of many Civilities and Excuses. He said, that as for sending
me bound, his Brother knew it was impossible; that although I had deprived him
of his Fleet, yet he owed great Obligations to me for many good Offices I had
done him in making the Peace. That however, both their Majesties would soon be
made easy; for I had found a prodigious Vessel on the Shore, able to carry me on
the Sea, which he had given order to fit up with my own Assistance and
Direction; and he hoped in a few Weeks both Empires would be freed from so
insupportable an Incumbrance.
    With this Answer the Envoy returned to Lilliput, and the Monarch of Blefuscu
related to me all that had past; offering me at the same time (but under the
strictest Confidence) his gracious Protection, if I would continue in his
Service; wherein although I believed him sincere, yet I resolved never more to
put any Confidence in Princes or Ministers, where I could possibly avoid it; and
therefore, with all due Acknowledgments for his favourable Intentions, I humbly
begged to be excused. I told him, that since Fortune, whether good or evil, had
thrown a Vessel in my Way; I was resolved to venture myself in the Ocean, rather
than be an Occasion of Difference between two such mighty Monarchs. Neither did
I find the Emperor at all displeased; and I discovered by a certain Accident,
that he was very glad of my Resolution, and so were most of his Ministers.
    These Considerations moved me to hasten my Departure somewhat sooner than I
intended; to which the Court, impatient to have me gone, very readily
contributed. Five hundred Workmen were employed to make two Sails to my Boat,
according to my Directions, by quilting thirteen fold of their strongest Linnen
together. I was at the Pains of making Ropes and Cables, by twisting ten, twenty
or thirty of the thickest and strongest of theirs. A great Stone that I happened
to find, after a long Search by the Sea-shore, served me for an Anchor. I had
the Tallow of three hundred Cows for greasing my Boat, and other Uses. I was at
incredible Pains in cutting down some of the largest Timber Trees for Oars and
Masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted by his Majesty's Ship-Carpenters,
who helped me in smoothing them, after I had done the rough Work.
    In about a Month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his Majesty's
Commands, and to take my leave. The Emperor and Royal Family came out of the
Palace; I lay down on my Face to kiss his Hand, which he very graciously gave
me; so did the Empress, and young Princes of the Blood. His Majesty presented me
with fifty Purses of two hundred Sprugs a-piece, together with his Picture at
full length, which I put immediately into one of my Gloves, to keep it from
being hurt. The Ceremonies at my Departure were too many to trouble the Reader
with at this time.
    I stored the Boat with the Carcasses of an hundred Oxen, and three hundred
Sheep, with Bread and Drink proportionable, and as much Meat ready dressed as
four hundred Cooks could provide. I took with me six Cows and two Bulls alive,
with as many Yews and Rams, intending to carry them into my own Country, and
propagate the Breed. And to feed them on board, I had a good Bundle of Hay, and
a Bag of Corn. I would gladly have taken a Dozen of the Natives; but this was a
thing the Emperor would by no Means permit; and besides a diligent Search into
my Pockets, his Majesty engaged my Honour not to carry away any of his Subjects,
although with their own Consent and Desire.
    Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able; I set sail on the
Twenty-fourth Day of September 1701, at six in the Morning; and when I had gone
about four Leagues to the Northward, the Wind being at South-East; at six in the
Evening, I descryed a small Island about half a League to the North West. I
advanced forward, and cast Anchor on the Lee-side of the Island, which seemed to
be uninhabited. I then took some Refreshment, and went to my Rest. I slept well,
and as I conjecture at least six Hours; for I found the Day broke in two Hours
after I awake. It was a clear Night; I eat my Breakfast before the Sun was up;
and heaving Anchor, the Wind being favourable, I steered the same Course that I
had done the Day before, wherein I was directed by my Pocket-Compass. My
Intention was to reach, if possible, one of those Islands, which I had reason to
believe lay to the North-East of Van Diemen's Land. I discovered nothing all
that Day; but upon the next, about three in the Afternoon, when I had by my
Computation made Twenty-four Leagues from Blefuscu, I deserved a Sail steering
to the South-East; my Course was due East. I hailed her, but could get no
Answer; yet I found I gained upon her, for the Wind slackened. I made all the
Sail I could, and in half an Hour she spyed me, then hung out her Antient, and
discharged a Gun. It is not easy to express the Joy I was in upon the unexpected
Hope of once more seeing my beloved Country, and the dear Pledges I had left in
it. The Ship slackned her Sails, and I came up with her between five and six in
the Evening, September 26; but my Heart leapt within me to see her English
Colours. I put my Cows and Sheep into my Coat-Pockets, and got on board with all
my little Cargo of Provisions. The Vessel was an English Merchant-man, returning
from Japan by the North and South Seas; the Captain, Mr. John Biddel of
Deptford, a very civil Man, and an excellent Sailor. We were now in the Latitude
of 30 Degrees South; there were about fifty Men in the Ship; and here I met an
old Comrade of mine, one Peter Williams, who gave me a good Character to the
Captain. This Gentleman treated me with Kindness, and desired I would let him
know what Place I came from last, and whither I was bound; which I did in few
Words; but he thought I was raving, and that the Dangers I underwent had
disturbed my Head; whereupon I took my black Cattle and Sheep out of my Pocket,
which, after great Astonishment, clearly convinced him of my Veracity. I then
showed him the Gold given me by the Emperor of Blefuscu, together with his
Majesty's Picture at full Length, and some other Rarities of that Country. I
gave him two Purses of two Hundred Sprugs each, and promised, when we arrived in
England, to make him a Present of a Cow and a Sheep big with Young.
    I shall not trouble the Reader with a particular Account of this Voyage,
which was very prosperous for the most Part. We arrived in the Downs on the 13th
of April 1702. I had only one Misfortune, that the Rats on board carried away
one of my Sheep; I found her Bones in a Hole, picked clean from the Flesh. The
rest of my Cattle I got safe on Shore, and set them a grazing in a Bowling-Green
at Greenwich, where the Fineness of the Grass made them feed very heartily,
although I had always feared the contrary: Neither could I possibly have
preserved them in so long a Voyage, if the Captain had not allowed me some of
his best Bisket, which rubbed to Powder, and mingled with Water, was their
constant Food. The short Time I continued in England, I made a considerable
Profit by showing my Cattle to many Persons of Quality, and others: And before I
began my second Voyage, I sold them for six Hundred Pounds. Since my last
Return, I find the Breed is considerably increased, especially the Sheep; which
I hope will prove much to the Advantage of the Woollen Manufacture, by the
Fineness of the Fleeces.
    I stayed but two Months with my Wife and Family; for my insatiable Desire of
seeing foreign Countries would suffer me to continue no longer. I left fifteen
Hundred Pounds with my Wife, and fixed her in a good House at Redriff. My
remaining Stock I carried with me, Part in Money, and Part in Goods, in Hopes to
improve my Fortunes. My eldest Uncle, John, had left me an Estate in Land, near
Epping, of about Thirty Pounds a Year; and I had a long Lease of the Black-Bull
in Fetter-Lane, which yielded me as much more: So that I was not in any Danger
of leaving my Family upon the Parish. My Son Johnny, named so after his Uncle,
was at the Grammar School, and a towardly Child. My Daughter Betty (who is now
well married, and has Children) was then at her Needle-Work. I took Leave of my
Wife, and Boy and Girl, with Tears on both Sides; and went on board the
Adventure, a Merchant-Ship of three Hundred Tons, bound for Surat, Captain John
Nicholas of Liverpool, Commander. But my Account of this Voyage must be referred
to the second Part of my Travels.
 
                           The End of the First Part.
 

                                    Part II.

                                        

                            A Voyage to Brobdingnag.

                                    Chap. I.

A great Storm described. The long Boat sent to fetch Water, the Author goes with
it to discover the Country. He is left on Shoar, is seized by one of the
Natives, and carried to a Farmer's House. His Reception there, with several
Accidents that happened there. A Description of the Inhabitants.
 
Having been condemned by Nature and Fortune to an active and restless Life; in
two Months after my Return, I again left my native Country, and took Shipping in
the Downs on the 20th Day of June 1702, in the Adventure, Capt. John Nicholas, a
Cornish Man, Commander, bound for Surat. We had a very prosperous Gale till we
arrived at the Cape of Good-hope, where we landed for fresh Water; but
discovering a Leak we unshipped our Goods, and wintered there; for the Captain
falling sick of an Ague, we could not leave the Cape till the End of March. We
then set sail, and had a good Voyage till we passed the Streights of Madagascar;
but having got Northward of that Island, and to about five Degrees South
Latitude, the Winds, which in those Seas are observed to blow a constant equal
Gale between the North and West, from the Beginning of December to the Beginning
of May, on the 19th of April began to blow with much greater Violence, and more
Westerly than usual; continuing so for twenty Days together, during which time
we were driven a little to the East of the Molucca Islands, and about three
Degrees Northward of the Line, as our Captain found by an Observation he took
the 2d of May, at which time the Wind ceased, and it was a perfect Calm, whereat
I was not a little rejoyced. But he being a Man well experienced in the
Navigation of those Seas, bid us all prepare against a Storm, which accordingly
happened the Day following: For a Southern Wind, called the Southern Monsoon,
began to set in.
    Finding it was like to overblow, we took in our Sprit-sail, and stood by to
hand the Fore-sail; but making foul Weather, we looked the Guns were all fast,
and handed the Missen. The Ship lay very broad off, so we thought it better
spooning before the Sea, than trying or hulling. We reeft the Foresail and set
him, we hawled aft the Fore-sheet; the Helm was hard a Weather. The Ship wore
bravely. We belay'd the Foredown-hall; but the Sail was split, and we hawl'd
down the Yard, and got the Sail into the Ship, and unbound all the things clear
of it. It was a very fierce Storm; the Sea broke strange and dangerous. We
hawl'd off upon the Lanniard of the Wipstaff, and helped the Man at Helm. We
would not get down our Top-Mast, but let all stand, because she scudded before
the Sea very well, and we knew that the Top-Mast being aloft, the Ship was the
wholesomer, and made better way through the Sea, seeing we had Sea room. When
the Storm was over, we set Fore-sail and Main-sail, and brought the Ship to.
Then we set the Missen, Maintop-Sail and the Foretop-Sail. Our Course was East
North-east, the Wind was at South-west. We got the Star-board Tacks aboard, we
cast off our Weather-braces and Lifts; we set in the Lee-braces, and hawl'd
forward by the Weather-bowlings, and hawl'd them tight, and belayed them, and
hawl'd over the Missen Tack to Windward, and kept her full and by as near as she
would lye.
    During this Storm, which was followed by a strong Wind West South-west, we
were carried by my Computation about five hundred Leagues to the East, so that
the oldest Sailor on Board could not tell in what part of the World we were. Our
Provisions held out well, our Ship was staunch, and our Crew all in good Health;
but we lay in the utmost Distress for Water. We thought it best to hold on the
same Course rather than turn more Northerly, which might have brought us to the
North-west Parts of great Tartary, and into the frozen Sea.
    On the 16th Day of June 1703, a Boy on the Top-mast discovered Land. On the
17th we came in full View of a great Island or Continent, (for we knew not
whether) on the South-side whereof was a small Neck of Land jutting out into the
Sea, and a Creek too shallow to hold a Ship of above one hundred Tuns. We cast
Anchor within a League of this Creek, and our Captain sent a dozen of his Men
well armed in the Long Boat, with Vessels for Water if any could be found. I
desired his leave to go with them, that I might see the Country, and make what
Discoveries I could. When we came to Land we saw no River or Spring, nor any
Sign of Inhabitants. Our Men therefore wandered on the Shore to find out some
fresh Water near the Sea, and I walked alone about a Mile on the other side,
where I observed the Country all barren and rocky. I now began to be weary, and
seeing nothing to entertain my Curiosity, I returned gently down towards the
Creek; and the Sea being full in my View, I saw our Men already got into the
Boat, and rowing for Life to the Ship. I was going to hollow after them,
although it had been to little purpose, when I observed a huge Creature walking
after them in the Sea, as fast as he could: He waded not much deeper than his
Knees, and took prodigious strides: But our Men had the start of him half a
League, and the Sea thereabouts being full of sharp pointed Rocks, the Monster
was not able to overtake the Boat. This I was afterwards told, for I durst not
stay to see the Issue of that Adventure; but ran as fast as I could the Way I
first went; and then climbed up a steep Hill, which gave me some Prospect of the
Country. I found it fully cultivated; but that which first surprised me was the
Length of the Grass, which in those Grounds that seemed to be kept for Hay, was
above twenty Foot high.
    I fell into a high Road, for so I took it to be, although it served to the
Inhabitants only as a foot Path through a Field of Barley. Here I walked on for
sometime, but could see little on either Side, it being now near Harvest, and
the Corn rising at least forty Foot. I was an Hour walking to the end of this
Field; which was fenced in with a Hedge of at least one hundred and twenty Foot
high, and the Trees so lofty that I could make no Computation of their Altitude.
There was a Stile to pass from this Field into the next: It had four Steps, and
a Stone to cross over when you came to the uppermost. It was impossible for me
to climb this Stile, because every Step was six Foot high, and the upper Stone
above twenty. I was endeavouring to find some Gap in the Hedge; when I
discovered one of the Inhabitants in the next Field advancing towards the Stile,
of the same Size with him whom I saw in the Sea pursuing our Boat. He appeared
as Tall as an ordinary Spire-steeple; and took about ten Yards at every Stride,
as near as I could guess. I was struck with the utmost Fear and Astonishment,
and ran to hide my self in the Corn, from whence I saw him at the Top of the
Stile, looking back into the next Field on the right Hand; and heard him call in
a Voice many Degrees louder than a speaking Trumpet; but the Noise was so High
in the Air, that at first I certainly thought it was Thunder. Whereupon seven
Monsters like himself came towards him with Reaping-Hooks in their Hands, each
Hook about the largeness of six Scythes. These People were not so well clad as
the first, whose Servants or Labourers they seemed to be. For, upon some Words
he spoke, they went to reap the Corn in the Field where I lay. I kept from them
at as great a Distance as I could, but was forced to move with extream
Difficulty; for the Stalks of the Corn were sometimes not above a Foot distant,
so that I could hardly squeeze my Body betwixt them. However, I made a shift to
go forward till I came to a part of the Field where the Corn had been laid by
the Rain and Wind: Here it was impossible for me to advance a step; for the
Stalks were so interwoven that I could not creep through, and the Beards of the
fallen Ears so strong and pointed, that they pierced through my clothes into my
Flesh. At the same time I heard the Reapers not above an hundred Yards behind
me. Being quite dispirited with Toil, and wholly overcome by Grief and Despair,
I lay down between two Ridges, and heartily wished I might there end my Days. I
bemoaned my desolate Widow, and Fatherless Children: I lamented my own Folly and
Wilfulness in attempting a second Voyage against the Advice of all my Friends
and Relations. In this terrible Agitation of Mind I could not forbear thinking
of Lilliput, whose Inhabitants looked upon me as the greatest Prodigy that ever
appeared in the World; where I was able to draw an Imperial Fleet in my Hand,
and perform those other Actions which will be recorded for ever in the
Chronicles of that Empire, while Posterity shall hardly believe them, although
attested by Millions. I reflected what a Mortification it must prove to me to
appear as inconsiderable in this Nation, as one single Lilliputian would be
among us. But, this I conceived was to be the least of my Misfortunes: For, as
human Creatures are observed to be more Savage and cruel in Proportion to their
Bulk; what could I expect but to be a Morsel in the Mouth of the first among
these enormous Barbarians who should happen to seize me? Undoubtedly
Philosophers are in the Right when they tell us, that nothing is great or little
otherwise than by Comparison: It might have pleased Fortune to let the
Lilliputians find some Nation, where the People were as diminutive with respect
to them, as they were to me. And who knows but that even this prodigious Race of
Mortals might be equally overmatched in some distant Part of the World, whereof
we have yet no Discovery?
    Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with these
Reflections; when one of the Reapers approaching within ten Yards of the Ridge
where I lay, made me apprehend that with the next Step I should be squashed to
Death under his Foot, or cut in two with his Reaping Hook. And therefore when he
was again about to move, I screamed as loud as Fear could make me. Whereupon the
huge Creature trod short, and looking round about under him for some time, at
last espied me as I lay on the Ground. He considered a while with the Caution of
one who endeavours to lay hold on a small dangerous Animal in such a Manner that
it shall not be able either to scratch or to bite him; as I my self have
sometimes done with a Weasel in England. At length he ventured to take me up
behind by the middle between his Fore-finger and Thumb, and brought me within
three Yards of his Eyes, that he might behold my Shape more perfectly. I guessed
his Meaning; and my good Fortune gave me so much Presence of Mind, that I
resolved not to struggle in the least as he held me in the Air above sixty Foot
from the Ground; although he grievously pinched my Sides, for fear I should slip
through his Fingers. All I ventured was to raise mine Eyes towards the Sun, and
place my Hands together in a supplicating Posture, and to speak some Words in an
humble melancholy Tone, suitable to the Condition I then was in. For, I
apprehended every Moment that he would dash me against the Ground, as we usually
do any little hateful Animal which we have a Mind to destroy. But my good Star
would have it, that he appeared pleased with my Voice and Gestures, and began to
look upon me as a Curiosity; much wondering to hear me pronounce articulate
Words, although he could not understand them. In the mean time I was not able to
forbear Groaning and shedding Tears, and turning my Head towards my Sides;
letting him know, as well as I could, how cruelly I was hurt by the Pressure of
his Thumb and Finger. He seemed to apprehend my Meaning; for, lifting up the
Lappet of his Coat, he put me gently into it, and immediately ran along with me
to his Master, who was a substantial Farmer, and the same Person I had first
seen in the Field.
    The Farmer having (as I supposed by their Talk) received such an Account of
me as his Servant could give him, took a piece of a small Straw, about the Size
of a walking Staff, and therewith lifted up the Lappets of my Coat; which it
seems he thought to be some kind of Covering that Nature had given me. He blew
my Hairs aside to take a better View of my Face. He called his Hinds about him,
and asked them (as I afterwards learned) whether they had ever seen in the
Fields any little Creature that resembled me. He then placed me softly on the
Ground upon all four; but I got immediately up, and walked slowly backwards and
forwards, to let those People see I had no Intent to run away. They all sate
down in a Circle about me, the better to observe my Motions. I pulled off my
Hat, and made a low Bow towards the Farmer: I fell on my Knees, and lifted up my
Hands and Eyes, and spoke several Words as loud as I could: I took a Purse of
Gold out of my Pocket, and humbly presented it to him. He received it on the
Palm of his Hand, then applied it close to his Eye, to see what it was, and
afterwards turned it several times with the Point of a Pin, (which he took out
of his Sleeve,) but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a Sign that he
should place his Hand on the Ground: I then took the Purse, and opening it,
poured all the Gold into his Palm. There were six Spanish-Pieces of four
Pistoles each, besides twenty or thirty smaller Coins. I saw him wet the Tip of
his little Finger upon his Tongue, and take up one of my largest Pieces, and
then another; but he seemed to be wholly ignorant what they were. He made me a
Sign to put them again into my Purse, and the Purse again into my Pocket; which
after offering to him several times, I thought it best to do.
    The Farmer by this time was convinced I must be a rational Creature. He
spoke often to me, but the Sound of his Voice pierced my Ears like that of a
Water-Mill; yet his Words were articulate enough. I answered as loud as I could
in several Languages; and he often laid his Ear within two Yards of me, but all
in vain, for we were wholly unintelligible to each other. He then sent his
Servants to their Work, and taking his Handkerchief out of his Pocket, he
doubled and spread it on his Hand, which he placed flat on the Ground with the
Palm upwards, making me a Sign to step into it, as I could easily do, for it was
not above a Foot in thickness. I thought it my part to obey; and for fear of
falling, laid my self at full Length upon the Handkerchief, with the Remainder
of which he lapped me up to the Head for further Security; and in this Manner
carried me home to his House. There he called his Wife, and showed me to her;
but she screamed and ran back as Women in England do at the Sight of a Toad or a
Spider. However, when she had a while seen my Behaviour, and how well I observed
the Signs her Husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by Degrees grew
extremely tender of me.
    It was about twelve at Noon, and a Servant brought in Dinner. It was only
one substantial Dish of Meat (fit for the plain Condition of an Husband-Man) in
a Dish of about four and twenty Foot Diameter. The Company were the Farmer and
his Wife, three Children, and an old Grandmother: When they were sat down, the
Farmer placed me at some Distance from him on the Table, which was thirty Foot
high from the Floor. I was in a terrible Fright, and kept as far as I could from
the Edge, for fear of falling. The Wife minced a bit of Meat, then crumbled some
Bread on a Trencher, and placed it before me. I made her a low Bow, took out my
Knife and Fork, and fell to eat; which gave them exceeding Delight. The Mistress
sent her Maid for a small Dram-cup, which held about two Gallons; and filled it
with Drink: I took up the Vessel with much difficulty in both Hands, and in a
most respectful Manner drank to her Lady-ship's Health, expressing the Words as
loud as I could in English; which made the Company laugh so heartily, that I was
almost deafened with the Noise. This Liquour tasted like a small Cyder, and was
not unpleasant. Then the Master made me a Sign to come to his Trencher side; but
as I walked on the Table, being in great surprise all the time, as the indulgent
Reader will easily conceive and excuse, I happened to stumble against a Crust,
and fell flat on my Face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately, and
observing the good People to be in much Concern, I took my Hat (which I held
under my Arm out of good Manners) and waving it over my Head, made three
Huzza's, to show I had got no Mischief by the Fall. But advancing forwards
toward my Master (as I shall henceforth call him) his youngest Son who sate next
him, an arch Boy of about ten Years old, took me up by the Legs, and held me so
high in the Air, that I trembled every Limb; but his Father snatched me from
him; and at the same time gave him such a Box on the left Ear, as would have
felled an European Troop of Horse to the Earth; ordering him to be taken from
the Table. But, being afraid the Boy might owe me a Spight; and well remembering
how mischievous all Children among us naturally are to Sparrows, Rabbits, young
Kittens, and Puppy-Dogs; I fell on my Knees, and pointing to the Boy, made my
Master understand, as well as I could, that I desired his Son might be pardoned.
The Father complied, and the Lad took his Seat again; whereupon I went to him
and kissed his Hand, which my Master took, and made him stroak me gently with
it.
    In the Midst of Dinner my Mistress's favourite Cat leapt into her Lap. I
heard a Noise behind me like that of a Dozen Stocking-Weavers at work; and
turning my Head, I found it proceeded from the Purring of this Animal, who
seemed to be three Times larger than an Ox, as I computed by the View of her
Head, and one of her Paws, while her Mistress was feeding and streaking her. The
Fierceness of this Creature's Countenance altogether discomposed me; although I
stood at the further End of the Table, above fifty Foot off; and although my
Mistress held her fast for fear she might give a Spring, and seize me in her
Talons. But it happened there was no Danger; for the Cat took not the least
Notice of me when my Master placed me within three Yards of her. And as I have
been always told, and found true by Experience in my Travels, that flying, or
discovering Fear before a fierce Animal, is a certain Way to make it pursue or
attack you; so I resolved in this dangerous Juncture to show no Manner of
Concern. I walked with Intrepidity five or six Times before the very Head of the
Cat, and came within half a Yard of her; whereupon she drew her self back, as if
she were more afraid of me: I had less Apprehension concerning the Dogs, whereof
three or four came into the Room, as it is usual in Farmers Houses; one of which
was a Mastiff equal in Bulk to four Elephants, and a Grey-hound somewhat taller
than the Mastiff, but not so large.
    When Dinner was almost done, the Nurse came in with a Child of a Year old in
her Arms; who immediately spyed me, and began a Squall that you might have heard
from London-Bridge to Chelsea; after the usual Oratory of Infants, to get me for
a Play-thing. The Mother out of pure Indulgence took me up, and put me towards
the Child, who presently seized me by the Middle, and got my Head in his Mouth,
where I roared so loud that the Urchin was frighted, and let me drop; and I
should infallibly have broke my Neck, if the Mother had not held her Apron under
me. The Nurse to quiet her Babe made use of a Rattle, which was a Kind of hollow
Vessel filled with great Stones, and fastened by a Cable to the Child's Waist:
But all in vain, so that she was forced to apply the last Remedy by giving it
suck. I must confess no Object ever disgusted me so much as the Sight of her
monstrous Breast, which I cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the
curious Reader an Idea of its Bulk, Shape and Colour. It stood prominent six
Foot, and could not be less than sixteen in Circumference. The Nipple was about
half the Bigness of my Head, and the Hue both of that and the Dug so varified
with Spots, Pimples and Freckles, that nothing could appear more nauseous: For I
had a near Sight of her, she sitting down the more conveniently to give Suck,
and I standing on the Table. This made me reflect upon the fair Skins of our
English Ladies, who appear so beautiful to us, only because they are of our own
Size, and their Defects not to be seen but through a magnifying Glass, where we
find by Experiment that the smoothest and whitest Skins look rough and coarse,
and ill coloured.
    I remember when I was at Lilliput, the Complexions of those diminutive
People appeared to me the fairest in the World: And talking upon this Subject
with a Person of Learning there, who was an intimate Friend of mine; he said,
that my Face appeared much fairer and smoother when he looked on me from the
Ground, than it did upon a nearer View when I took him up in my Hand, and
brought him close; which he confessed was at first a very shocking Sight. He
said, he could discover great Holes in my Skin; that the Stumps of my Beard were
ten Times stronger than the Bristles of a Boar; and my Complexion made up of
several Colours altogether disagreeable: Although I must beg Leave to say for my
self, that I am as fair as most of my Sex and Country, and very little Sunburnt
by all my Travels. On the other Side, discoursing of the Ladies in that
Emperor's Court, he used to tell me, one had Freckles, another too wide a Mouth,
a third too large a Nose; nothing of which I was able to distinguish. I confess
this Reflection was obvious enough; which, however, I could not forbear, lest
the Reader might think those vast Creatures were actually deformed: For I must
do them Justice to say they are a comely Race of People; and particularly the
Features of my Master's Countenance, although he were but a Farmer, when I
beheld him from the Height of sixty Foot, appeared very well proportioned.
    When Dinner was done, my Master went out to his Labourers; and as I could
discover by his Voice and Gesture, gave his Wife a strict Charge to take Care of
me. I was very much tired and disposed to sleep, which my Mistress perceiving,
she put me on her own Bed, and covered me with a clean white Handkerchief, but
larger and coarser than the Main Sail of a Man of War.
    I slept about two Hours, and dreamed I was at home with my Wife and
Children, which aggravated my Sorrows when I awake and found my self alone in a
vast Room, between two and three Hundred Foot wide, and above two Hundred high;
lying in a Bed twenty Yards wide. My Mistress was gone about her household
Affairs, and had locked me in. The Bed was eight Yards from the Floor. Some
natural Necessities required me to get down: I durst not presume to call, and if
I had, it would have been in vain with such a Voice as mine at so great a
Distance from the Room where I lay, to the Kitchen where the Family kept. While
I was under these Circumstances, two Rats crept up the Curtains, and ran
smelling backwards and forwards on the Bed: One of them came up almost to my
Face; whereupon I rose in a Fright, and drew out my Hanger to defend my self.
These horrible Animals had the Boldness to attack me on both Sides, and one of
them held his Fore-feet at my Collar; but I had the good Fortune to rip up his
Belly before he could do me any Mischief. He fell down at my Feet; and the other
seeing the Fate of his Comrade, made his Escape, but not without one good Wound
on the Back, which I gave him as he fled, and made the Blood run trickling from
him. After this Exploit I walked gently to and fro on the Bed, to recover my
Breath and Loss of Spirits. These Creatures were of the Size of a large Mastiff,
but infinitely more nimble and fierce; so that if I had taken off my Belt before
I went to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to Pieces and devoured. I
measured the Tail of the dead Rat, and found it to be two Yards long, wanting an
Inch; but it went against my Stomach to drag the Carcass off the Bed, where it
lay still bleeding; I observed it had yet some Life, but with a strong Slash
cross the Neck, I thoroughly dispatched it.
    Soon after, my Mistress came into the Room, who seeing me all bloody, ran
and took me up in her Hand. I pointed to the dead Rat, smiling and making other
Signs to show I was not hurt; whereat she was extremely rejoyced, calling the
Maid to take up the dead Rat with a Pair of Tongs, and throw it out of the
Window. Then she set me on a Table, where I showed her my Hanger all bloody, and
wiping it on the Lappet of my Coat, returned it to the Scabbard. I was pressed
to do more than one Thing, which another could not do for me; and therefore
endeavoured to make my Mistress understand that I desired to be set down on the
Floor; which after she had done, my Bashfulness would not suffer me to express
my self farther than by pointing to the Door, and bowing several Times. The good
Woman with much Difficulty at last perceived what I would be at; and taking me
up again in her Hand, walked into the Garden where she set me down. I went on
one Side about two Hundred Yards; and beckoning to her not to look or to follow
me, I hid my self between two Leaves of Sorrel, and there discharged the
Necessities of Nature.
    I hope, the gentle Reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and the like
Particulars; which however insignificant they may appear to grovelling vulgar
Minds, yet will certainly help a Philosopher to enlarge his Thoughts and
Imagination, and apply them to the Benefit of public as well as private Life;
which was my sole Design in presenting this and other Accounts of my Travels to
the World; wherein I have been chiefly studious of Truth, without affecting any
Ornaments of Learning, or of Style. But the whole Scene of this Voyage made so
strong an Impression on my Mind, and is so deeply fixed in my Memory, that in
committing it to Paper, I did not omit one material Circumstance: However, upon
a strict Review, I blotted out several Passages of less Moment which were in my
first Copy, for fear of being censured as tedious and trifling, whereof
Travellers are often, perhaps not without Justice, accused.
 

                                   Chap. II.

A Description of the Farmer's Daughter. The Author carried to a Market-Town, and
then to the Metropolis. The Particulars of his Journey.
 
My Mistress had a Daughter of nine Years old, a Child of towardly Parts for her
Age, very dexterous at her Needle, and skilful in dressing her Baby. Her Mother
and she contrived to fit up the Baby's Cradle for me against Night: The Cradle
was put into a small Drawer of a Cabinet, and the Drawer placed upon a hanging
Shelf for fear of the Rats. This was my Bed all the Time I stayed with those
People, although made more convenient by Degrees, as I began to learn their
Language, and make my Wants known. This young Girl was so handy, that after I
had once or twice pulled off my clothes before her, she was able to dress and
undress me, although I never gave her that Trouble when she would let me do
either my self. She made me seven Shirts, and some other Linnen of as fine Cloth
as could be got, which indeed was coarser than Sackcloth; and these she
constantly washed for me with her own Hands. She was likewise my School-Mistress
to teach me the Language: When I pointed to any thing, she told me the Name of
it in her own Tongue, so that in a few Days I was able to call for whatever I
had a mind to. She was very good natured, and not above forty Foot high, being
little for her Age. She gave me the Name of Grildrig, which the Family took up,
and afterwards the whole Kingdom. The Word imports what the Latins call
Nanunculus, the Italians Homunceletino, and the English Mannikin. To her I
chiefly owe my Preservation in that Country: We never parted while I was there;
I called her my Glumdalclitch, or little Nurse: And I should be guilty of great
Ingratitude if I omitted this honourable Mention of her Care and Affection
towards me, which I heartily wish it lay in my Power to requite as she deserves,
instead of being the innocent but unhappy Instrument of her Disgrace, as I have
too much Reason to fear.
    It now began to be known and talked of in the Neighbourhood, that my Master
had found a strange Animal in the Field, about the Bigness of a Splacknuck, but
exactly shaped in every Part like a human Creature; which it likewise imitated
in all its actions; seemed to speak in a little Language of its own, had already
learned several Words of theirs, went erect upon two Legs, was tame and gentle,
would come when it was called, do whatever it was bid, had the finest Limbs in
the World, and a Complexion fairer than a Nobleman's Daughter of three Years
old. Another Farmer who lived hard by, and was a particular Friend of my Master,
came on a Visit on Purpose to enquire into the Truth of this Story. I was
immediately produced, and placed upon a Table; where I walked as I was
commanded, drew my Hanger, put it up again, made my Reverence to my Master's
Guest, asked him in his own Language how he did, and told him he was welcome;
just as my little Nurse had instructed me. This Man, who was old and
dim-sighted, put on his Spectacles to behold me better, at which I could not
forbear laughing very heartily; for his Eyes appeared like the Full-Moon shining
into a Chamber at two Windows. Our People, who discovered the Cause of my Mirth,
bore me Company in Laughing; at which the old Fellow was Fool enough to be angry
and out of Countenance. He had the Character of a great Miser; and to my
Misfortune he well deserved it by the cursed Advice he gave my Master, to show
me as a Sight upon a Market-Day in the next Town, which was half an Hour's
Riding, about two and twenty Miles from our House. I guessed there was some
Mischief contriving, when I observed my Master and his Friend whispering long
together, sometimes pointing at me; and my Fears made me fancy that I overheard
and understood some of their Words. But, the next Morning Glumdalclitch my
little Nurse told me the whole Matter, which she had cunningly picked out from
her Mother. The poor Girl laid me on her Bosom, and fell a weeping with Shame
and Grief. She apprehended some Mischief would happen to me from rude vulgar
Folks, who might squeeze me to Death, or break one of my Limbs by taking me in
their Hands. She had also observed how modest I was in my Nature, how nicely I
regarded my Honour; and what an Indignity I should conceive it to be exposed for
Money as a public Spectacle to the meanest of the People. She said, her Papa
and Mamma had promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now she found they
meant to serve her as they did last Year, when they pretended to give her a
Lamb; and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it to a Butcher. For my own Part, I
may truly affirm that I was less concerned than my Nurse. I had a strong Hope
which never left me, that I should one Day recover my Liberty; and as to the
Ignominy of being carried about for a Monster, I considered my self to be a
perfect Stranger in the Country; and that such a Misfortune could never be
charged upon me as a Reproach if ever I should return to England; since the King
of Great Britain himself, in my Condition, must have undergone the same
Distress.
    My Master, pursuant to the Advice of his Friend, carried me in a Box the
next Market-Day to the neighbouring Town; and took along with him his little
Daughter my Nurse upon a Pillion behind him. The Box was close on every Side,
with a little Door for me to go in and out, and a few Gimlet-holes to let in
Air. The Girl had been so careful to put the Quilt of her Baby's Bed into it,
for me to lye down on. However, I was terribly shaken and discomposed in this
Journey, although it were but of half an Hour. For the Horse went about forty
Foot at every Step; and trotted so high, that the Agitation was equal to the
rising and falling of a Ship in a great Storm, but much more frequent: Our
Journey was somewhat further than from London to St. Albans. My Master alighted
at an Inn which he used to frequent; and after consulting a while with the
Inn-keeper, and making some necessary Preparations, he hired the Grultrud, or
Cryer, to give Notice through the Town, of a strange Creature to be seen at the
Sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a Splacnuck, (an Animal in that Country
very finely shaped, about six Foot long) and in every Part of the Body
resembling an human Creature; could speak several Words, and perform an Hundred
diverting Tricks.
    I was placed upon a Table in the largest Room of the Inn, which might be
near three Hundred Foot square. My little Nurse stood on a low Stool close to
the Table, to take care of me, and direct what I should do. My Master, to avoid
a crowd, would suffer only Thirty People at a Time to see me. I walked about on
the Table as the Girl commanded; she asked me Questions as far as she knew my
Understanding of the Language reached, and I answered them as loud as I could. I
turned about several Times to the Company, paid my humble Respects, said they
were welcome; and used some other Speeches I had been taught. I took up a
Thimble filled with Liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a Cup, and
drank their Health. I drew out my Hanger, and flourished with it after the
Manner of Fencers in England. My Nurse gave me Part of a Straw, which I
exercised as a Pike, having learned the Art in my Youth. I was that Day shown to
twelve Sets of Company; and as often forced to go over again with the same
Fopperies, till I was half dead with Weariness and Vexation. For, those who had
seen me, made such wonderful Reports, that the People were ready to break down
the Doors to come in. My Master for his own Interest would not suffer any one to
touch me, except my Nurse; and, to prevent Danger, Benches were set round the
Table at such a Distance, as put me out of every Body's Reach. However, an
unlucky School-Boy aimed a Hazel Nut directly at my Head, which very narrowly
missed me; otherwise, it came with so much Violence, that it would have
infallibly knocked out my Brains; for it was almost as large as a small Pumpion:
But I had the Satisfaction to see the young Rogue well beaten, and turned out of
the Room.
    My Master gave public Notice, that he would show me again the next
Market-Day: And in the mean time, he prepared a more convenient Vehicle for me,
which he had Reason enough to do; for I was so tired with my first Journey, and
with entertaining Company eight Hours together, that I could hardly stand upon
my Legs, or speak a Word. It was at least three Days before I recovered my
Strength; and that I might have no rest at home, all the neighbouring Gentlemen
from an Hundred Miles round, hearing of my Fame, came to see me at my Master's
own House. There could not be fewer than thirty Persons with their Wives and
Children; (for the Country is very populous;) and my Master demanded the Rate of
a full Room whenever he showed me at Home, although it were only to a single
Family. So that for some time I had but little Ease every Day of the Week,
(except Wednesday, which is their Sabbath) although I were not carried to the
Town.
    My Master finding how profitable I was like to be, resolved to carry me to
the most considerable Cities of the Kingdom. Having therefore provided himself
with all things necessary for a long Journey, and settled his Affairs at Home;
he took Leave of his Wife; and upon the 17th of August 1703, about two Months
after my Arrival, we set out for the Metropolis, situated near the Middle of
that Empire, and about three Thousand Miles distance from our House: My Master
made his Daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind him. She carried me on her Lap in a
Box tied about her Waist. The Girl had lined it on all Sides with the softest
Cloth she could get, well quilted underneath; furnished it with her Baby's Bed,
provided me with Linnen and other Necessaries; and made every thing as
convenient as she could. We had no other Company but a Boy of the House, who
rode after us with the Luggage.
    My Master's Design was to show me in all the Towns by the Way, and to step
out of the Road for Fifty or an Hundred Miles, to any Village or Person of
Quality's House where he might expect Custom. We made easy Journies of not above
seven or eight Score Miles a Day: For Glumdalclitch, on Purpose to spare me,
complained she was tired with the trotting of the Horse. She often took me out
of my Box at my own Desire, to give me Air, and show me the Country; but always
held me fast by Leading-strings. We passed over five or six Rivers many Degrees
broader and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges; and there was hardly a Rivulet
so small as the Thames at London-Bridge. We were ten Weeks in our Journey; and I
was shown in Eighteen large Towns, besides many Villages and private Families.
    On the 26th Day of October, we arrived at the Metropolis, called in their
Language Lorbrulgrud, or Pride of the Universe. My Master took a Lodging in the
principal Street of the City, not far from the Royal Palace; and put out Bills
in the usual Form, containing an exact Description of my Person and Parts. He
hired a large Room between three and four Hundred Foot wide. He provided a Table
sixty Foot in Diameter, upon which I was to act my Part; and pallisadoed it
round three Foot from the Edge, and as many high, to prevent my falling over. I
was shown ten Times a Day to the Wonder and Satisfaction of all People. I could
now speak the Language tolerably well; and perfectly understood every Word that
was spoken to me. Besides, I had learned their Alphabet, and could make a shift
to explain a Sentence here and there; for Glumdalclitch had been my Instructer
while we were at home, and at leisure Hours during our Journey. She carried a
little Book in her Pocket, not much larger than a Sanson's Atlas; it was a
common Treatise for the use of young Girls, giving a short Account of their
Religion; out of this she taught me my Letters, and interpreted the Words.
 

                                   Chap. III.

The Author sent for to Court. The Queen buys him of his Master the farmer, and
presents him to the King. He disputes with his Majesty's great Scholars. An
Apartment at Court provided for the Author. He is in high Favour with the Queen.
He stands up for the Honour of his own Country. His Quarrels with the Queen's
Dwarf.
 
The frequent Labours I underwent every Day, made in a few Weeks a very
considerable Change in my Health: The more my Master got by me, the more
unsatiable he grew. I had quite lost my Stomach, and was almost reduced to a
Skeleton. The Farmer observed it; and concluding I soon must die, resolved to
make as good a Hand of me as he could. While he was thus reasoning and resolving
with himself; a Slardral, or Gentleman Usher, came from Court, commanding my
Master to bring me immediately thither for the Diversion of the Queen and her
Ladies. Some of the latter had already been to see me; and reported strange
Things of my Beauty, Behaviour, and good Sense. Her Majesty and those who
attended her, were beyond Measure delighted with my Demeanor. I fell on my
Knees, and begged the Honour of kissing her Imperial Foot; but this Gracious
Princess held out her little Finger towards me (after I was set on a Table)
which I embraced in both my Arms, and put the Tip of it, with the utmost
Respect, to my Lip. She made me some general Questions about my Country and my
Travels, which I answered as distinctly and in as few Words as I could. She
asked, whether I would be content to live at Court. I bowed down to the Board of
the Table, and humbly answered, that I was my Master's Slave; but if I were at
my own Disposal, I should be proud to devote my Life to her Majesty's Service.
She then asked my Master whether he were willing to sell me at a good Price. He,
who apprehended I could not live a Month, was ready enough to part with me; and
demanded a Thousand Pieces of Gold; which were ordered him on the Spot, each
Piece being about the Bigness of eight Hundred Moydores: But, allowing for the
Proportion of all Things between that Country and Europe, and the high Price of
Gold among them; was hardly so great a Sum as a Thousand Guineas would be in
England. I then said to the Queen; since I was now her Majesty's most humble
Creature and Vassal, I must beg the Favour, that Glumdalclitch, who had always
tended me with so much Care and Kindness, and understood to do it so well, might
be admitted into her Service, and continue to be my Nurse and Instructor. Her
Majesty agreed to my Petition; and easily got the Farmer's Consent, who was glad
enough to have his Daughter preferred at Court: And the poor Girl herself was
not able to hide her Joy. My late Master withdrew, bidding me farewell, and
saying he had left me in a good Service; to which I replyed not a Word, only
making him a slight Bow.
    The Queen observed my Coldness; and when the Farmer was gone out of the
Apartment, asked me the Reason. I made bold to tell her Majesty, that I owed no
other Obligation to my late Master, than his not dashing out the Brains of a
poor harmless Creature found by Chance in his Field; which Obligation was amply
recompenced by the Gain he had made in showing me through half the Kingdom, and
the Price he had now sold me for. That the Life I had since led, was laborious
enough to kill an Animal of ten Times my Strength. That my Health was much
impaired by the continual Drudgery of entertaining the Rabble every Hour of the
Day; and that if my Master had not thought my Life in Danger, her Majesty
perhaps would not have got so cheap a Bargain. But as I was out of all fear of
being ill treated under the Protection of so great and good an Empress, the
Ornament of Nature, the Darling of the World, the Delight of her Subjects, the
Phoenix of the Creation; so, I hoped my late Master's Apprehensions would appear
to be groundless; for I already found my Spirits to revive by the Influence of
her most August Presence.
    This was the Sum of my Speech, delivered with great Improprieties and
Hesitation; the latter Part was altogether framed in the Style peculiar to that
People, whereof I learned some Phrases from Glumdalclitch, while she was
carrying me to Court.
    The Queen giving great Allowance for my Defectiveness in speaking, was
however surprised at so much Wit and good Sense in so diminutive an Animal. She
took me in her own Hand, and carried me to the King, who was then retired to his
Cabinet. His Majesty, a Prince of much Gravity, and austere Countenance, not
well observing my Shape at first View, asked the Queen after a cold Manner, how
long it was since she grew fond of a Splacknuck; for such it seems he took me to
be, as I lay upon my Breast in her Majesty's right Hand. But this Princess, who
hath an infinite deal of Wit and Humour, set me gently on my Feet upon the
Scrutore; and commanded me to give His Majesty an Account of my self, which I
did in a very few Words; and Glumdalclitch, who attended at the Cabinet Door,
and could not endure I should be out of her Sight, being admitted; confirmed all
that had passed from my Arrival at her Father's House.
    The King, although he be as learned a Person as any in his Dominions and had
been educated in the Study of Philosophy, and particularly Mathematicks; yet
when he observed my Shape exactly, and saw me walk erect, before I began to
speak, conceived I might be a piece of Clock-work, (which is in that Country
arrived to a very great Perfection) contrived by some ingenious Artist. But,
when he heard my Voice, and found what I delivered to be regular and rational,
he could not conceal his Astonishment. He was by no means satisfied with the
Relation I gave him of the Manner I came into his Kingdom; but thought it a
Story concerted between Glumdalclitch and her Father, who had taught me a Sett
of Words to make me sell at a higher Price. Upon this Imagination he put several
other Questions to me, and still received rational Answers, no otherwise
defective than by a Foreign Accent, and an imperfect Knowledge in the Language;
with some rustick Phrases which I had learned at the Farmer's House, and did not
suit the polite Style of a Court.
    His Majesty sent for three great Scholars who were then in their weekly
waiting (according to the Custom in that Country.) These Gentlemen, after they
had a while examined my Shape with much Nicety, were of different Opinions
concerning me. They all agreed that I could not be produced according to the
regular Laws of Nature; because I was not framed with a Capacity of preserving
my Life, either by Swiftness, or climbing of Trees, or digging Holes in the
Earth. They observed by my Teeth, which they viewed with great Exactness, that I
was a carnivorous Animal; yet most Quadrupeds being an Overmatch for me; and
Field-Mice, with some others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be
able to support my self, unless I fed upon Snails and other Insects; which they
offered by many learned Arguments to evince that I could not possibly do. One of
them seemed to think that I might be an Embrio, or abortive Birth. But this
Opinion was rejected by the other two, who observed my Limbs to be perfect and
finished; and that I had lived several Years, as it was manifested from my
Beard; the Stumps whereof they plainly discovered through a Magnifying-Glass.
They would not allow me to be a Dwarf, because my Littleness was beyond all
Degrees of Comparison; for the Queen's favourite Dwarf, the smallest ever known
in that Kingdom, was near thirty Foot high. After much Debate, they concluded
unanimously that I was only Relplum Scalcath, which is interpreted literally
Lusus Naturæ; a Determination exactly agreeable to the Modern Philosophy of
Europe: whose Professors, disdaining the old Evasion of occult Causes, whereby
the Followers of Aristotle endeavour in vain to disguise their Ignorance; have
invented this wonderful Solution of all Difficulties, to the unspeakable
Advancement of human Knowledge.
    After this decisive Conclusion, I entreated to be heard a Word or two. I
applied my self to the King, and assured His Majesty, that I came from a Country
which abounded with several Millions of both Sexes, and of my own Stature; where
the Animals, Trees, and Houses were all in Proportion; and where by Consequence
I might be as able to defend my self, and to find Sustenance, as any of his
Majesty's Subjects could do here; which I took for a full Answer to those
Gentlemens Arguments. To this they only replied with a Smile of Contempt;
saying, that the Farmer had instructed me very well in my Lesson. The King, who
had a much better Understanding, dismissing his learned Men, sent for the
Farmer, who by good Fortune was not yet gone out of Town: Having therefore first
examined him privately, and then confronted him with me and the young Girl; his
Majesty began to think that what we told him might possibly be true. He desired
the Queen to order, that a particular Care should be taken of me; and was of
Opinion, that Glumdalclitch should still continue in her Office of tending me,
because he observed we had a great Affection for each other. A convenient
Apartment was provided for her at Court; she had a sort of Governess appointed
to take care of her Education, a Maid to dress her, and two other Servants for
menial Offices; but, the Care of me was wholly appropriated to her self. The
Queen commanded her own Cabinet-maker to contrive a Box that might serve me for
a Bed-chamber, after the Model that Glumdalclitch and I should agree upon. This
Man was a most ingenious Artist; and according to my Directions, in three Weeks
finished for me a wooden Chamber of sixteen Foot square, and twelve High; with
Sash Windows, a Door, and two Closets, like a London Bed-chamber. The Board that
made the Cieling was to be lifted up and down by two Hinges, to put in a Bed
ready furnished by her Majesty's Upholsterer; which Glumdalclitch took out every
Day to air, made it with her own Hands, and letting it down at Night, locked up
the Roof over me. A Nice Workman, who was famous for little Curiosities,
undertook to make me two Chairs, with Backs and Frames, of a Substance not
unlike Ivory; and two Tables, with a Cabinet to put my Things in. The Room was
quilted on all Sides, as well as the Floor and the Cieling, to prevent any
Accident from the Carelessness of those who carried me; and to break the Force
of a Jolt when I went in a Coach. I desired a Lock for my Door to prevent Rats
and Mice from coming in: The Smith after several Attempts made the smallest that
was ever seen among them; for I have known a larger at the Gate of a Gentleman's
House in England. I made a shift to keep the Key in a Pocket of my own, fearing
Glumdalclitch might lose it. The Queen likewise ordered the thinnest Silks that
could be gotten, to make me clothes; not much thicker than an English Blanket,
very cumbersome till I was accustomed to them. They were after the Fashion of
the Kingdom, partly resembling the Persian, and partly the Chinese; and are a
very grave decent Habit.
    The Queen became so fond of my Company, that she could not dine without me.
I had a Table placed upon the same at which her Majesty eat, just at her left
Elbow; and a Chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood upon a Stool on the Floor,
near my Table, to assist and take Care of me. I had an entire set of Silver
Dishes and Plates, and other Necessaries, which in Proportion to those of the
Queen, were not much bigger than what I have seen in a London Toy-shop, for the
Furniture of a Baby-house: These my little Nurse kept in her Pocket, in a Silver
Box, and gave me at Meals as I wanted them; always cleaning them her self. No
Person dined with the Queen but the two Princesses Royal; the elder sixteen
Years old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a Month. Her Majesty used
to put a Bit of Meat upon one of my Dishes, out of which I carved for my self;
and her Diversion was to see me eat in Miniature. For the Queen (who had indeed
but a weak Stomach) took up at one Mouthful, as much as a dozen English Farmers
could eat at a Meal, which to me was for some time a very nauseous Sight. She
would craunch the Wing of a Lark, Bones and all, between her Teeth, although it
were nine Times as large as that of a full grown Turkey; and put a Bit of Bread
in her Mouth, as big as two twelve-penny Loaves. She drank out of a golden Cup,
above a Hogshead at a Draught. Her Knives were twice as long as a Scythe set
strait upon the Handle. The Spoons, Forks, and other Instruments were all in the
same Proportion. I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me out of Curiosity to
see some of the Tables at Court, where ten or a dozen of these enormous Knives
and Forks were lifted up together; I thought I had never till then beheld so
terrible a Sight.
    It is the Custom, that every Wednesday, (which as I have before observed,
was their Sabbath) the King and Queen, with the Royal Issue of both Sexes, dine
together in the Apartment of his Majesty; to whom I was now become a Favourite;
and at these Times my little Chair and Table were placed at his left Hand before
one of the Salt-sellers. This Prince took a Pleasure in conversing with me;
enquiring into the Manners, Religion, Laws, Government, and Learning of Europe,
wherein I gave him the best Account I was able. His Apprehension was so clear,
and his judgement so exact, that he made very wise Reflexions and Observations
upon all I said. But, I confess, that after I had been a little too copious in
talking of my own beloved Country; of our Trade, and Wars by Sea and Land, of
our Schisms in Religion, and Parties in the State; the Prejudices of his
Education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear taking me up in his right
Hand, and stroaking me gently with the other; after an hearty Fit of laughing,
asked me whether I were a Whig or a Tory. Then turning to his first Minister,
who waited behind him with a white Staff, near as tall as the Main-mast of the
Royal Sovereign; he observed, how contemptible a Thing was human Grandeur, which
could be mimicked by such diminutive Insects as I: And yet, said he, I dare
engage, those Creatures have their Titles and Distinctions of Honour; they
contrive little Nests and Burrows, that they call Houses and Cities; they make a
Figure in Dress and Equipage; they love, they fight, they dispute, they cheat,
they betray. And thus he continued on, while my Colour came and went several
Times, with Indignation to hear our noble Country, the Mistress of Arts and
Arms, the Scourge of France, the Arbitress of Europe, the Seat of Virtue, Piety,
Honour and Truth, the Pride and Envy of the World, so contemptuously treated.
    But, as I was not in a Condition to resent Injuries, so, upon mature
Thoughts, I began to doubt whether I were injured or no. For, after having been
accustomed several Months to the Sight and Converse of this People, and observed
every Object upon which I cast mine Eyes, to be of proportionable Magnitude; the
Horror I had first conceived from their Bulk and Aspect was so far worn off,
that if I had then beheld a Company of English Lords and Ladies in their Finery
and Birth-day clothes, acting their several Parts in the most courtly Manner of
Strutting, and Bowing and Prating; to say the Truth, I should have been strongly
tempted to laugh as much at them as this King and his Grandees did at me.
Neither indeed could I forbear smiling at my self, when the Queen used to place
me upon her Hand towards a Looking-Glass, by which both our Persons appeared
before me in full View together; and there could nothing be more ridiculous than
the Comparison: So that I really began to imagine my self dwindled many Degrees
below my usual Size.
    Nothing angred and mortified me so much as the Queen's Dwarf, who being of
the lowest Stature that was ever in that Country, (for I verily think he was not
full Thirty Foot high) became so insolent at seeing a Creature so much beneath
him, that he would always affect to swagger and look big as he passed by me in
the Queen's Antichamber, while I was standing on some Table talking with the
Lords or Ladies of the Court; and he seldom failed of a smart Word or two upon
my Littleness; against which I could only revenge my self by calling him
Brother, challenging him to wrestle; and such Repartees as are usual in the
Mouths of Court Pages. One Day at Dinner, this malicious little Cubb was so
nettled with something I had said to him, that raising himself upon the Frame of
her Majesty's Chair, he took me up by the Middle, as I was sitting down, not
thinking any Harm, and let me drop into a large Silver Bowl of Cream; and then
ran away as fast as he could. I fell over Head and Ears, and if I had not been a
good Swimmer, it might have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that
Instant happened to be at the other End of the Room; and the Queen was in such a
Fright, that she wanted Presence of Mind to assist me. But my little Nurse ran
to my Relief; and took me out, after I had swallowed above a Quart of Cream. I
was put to Bed; however I received no other Damage than the Loss of a Suit of
clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The Dwarf was soundly whipped, and as a
further Punishment, forced to drink up the Bowl of Cream, into which he had
thrown me; neither was he ever restored to Favour: For, soon after the Queen
bestowed him to a Lady of high Quality; so that I saw him no more, to my very
great Satisfaction; for I could not tell to what Extremity such a malicious
Urchin might have carried his Resentment.
    He had before served me a scurvy Trick, which set the Queen a laughing,
although at the same time she were heartily vexed, and would have immediately
cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to intercede. Her Majesty had
taken a Marrow-bone upon her Plate; and after knocking out the Marrow, placed
the Bone again in the Dish erect as it stood before; the Dwarf watching his
Opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the Sideboard, mounted the Stool
that she stood on to take care of me at Meals; took me up in both Hands, and
squeezing my Legs together, wedged them into the Marrow-bone above my Waist;
where I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous Figure. I believe it was
near a Minute before any one knew what was become of me; for I thought it below
me to cry out. But, as Princes seldom get their Meat hot, my Legs were not
scalded, only my Stockings and Breeches in a sad Condition. The Dwarf at my
Entreaty had no other Punishment than a sound whipping.
    I was frequently raillied by the Queen upon Account of my Fearfulness; and
she used to ask me whether the People of my Country were as great Cowards as my
self. The Occasion was this. The Kingdom is much pestered with Flies in Summer;
and these odious Insects, each of them as big as a Dunstable Lark, hardly gave
me any Rest while I sat at Dinner, with their continual Humming and Buzzing
about mine Ears. They would sometimes alight upon my Victuals, and leave their
loathsome Excrement or Spawn behind, which to me was very visible, although not
to the Natives of that Country, whose large Opticks were not so acute as mine in
viewing smaller Objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my Nose or Forehead,
where they stung me to the Quick, smelling very offensively; and I could easily
trace that viscous Matter, which our Naturalists tell us enables those Creatures
to walk with their Feet upwards upon a Cieling. I had much ado to defend my self
against these detestable Animals, and could not forbear starring when they came
on my Face. It was the common Practice of the Dwarf to catch a Number of these
Insects in his Hand, as School-boys do among us, and let them out suddenly under
my Nose, on Purpose to frighten me, and divert the Queen. My Remedy was to cut
them in Pieces with my Knife as they flew in the Air; wherein my Dexterity was
much admired.
    I remember one Morning when Glumdalclitch had set me in my Box upon a
Window, as she usually did in fair Days to give me Air, (for I durst not venture
to let the Box be hung on a Nail out of the Window, as we do with Cages in
England) after I had lifted up one of my Sashes, and sat down at my Table to eat
a Piece of Sweet-Cake for my Breakfast; above twenty Wasps, allured by the
Smell, came flying into the Room, humming louder than the Drones of as many
Bagpipes. Some of them seized my Cake, and carried it piecemeal away; others
flew about my Head and Face, confounding me with the Noise, and putting me in
the utmost Terror of their Stings. However I had the Courage to rise and draw my
Hanger, and attack them in the Air. I dispatched four of them, but the rest got
away, and I presently shut my Window. These Insects were as large as Partridges;
I took out their Stings, found them an Inch and a half long, and as sharp as
Needles. I carefully preserved them all, and having since shown them with some
other Curiosities in several Parts of Europe; upon my Return to England I gave
three of them to Gresham College, and kept the fourth for my self.
 

                                   Chap. IV.

The Country described. A Proposal for correcting modern Maps. The King's Palace,
and some Account of the Metropolis. The Author's Way of travelling. The chief
Temple described.
 
I now intend to give the Reader a short Description of this Country, as far as I
travelled in it, which was not above two thousand Miles round Lorbrulgrud the
Metropolis. For, the Queen, whom I always attended, never went further when she
accompanied the King in his Progresses; and there staid till his Majesty
returned from viewing his Frontiers. The whole Extent of this Prince's Dominions
reacheth about six thousand Miles in Length, and from three to five in Breadth.
From whence I cannot but conclude, that our Geographers of Europe are in a great
Error, by supposing nothing but Sea between Japan and California: For it was
ever my Opinion, that there must be a Balance of Earth to counterpoise the great
Continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct their Maps and Charts,
by joining this vast Tract of Land to the North-west Parts of America; wherein I
shall be ready to lend them my Assistance.
    The Kingdom is a Peninsula, terminated to the North-east by a Ridge of
Mountains thirty Miles high which are altogether impassable by Reason of the
Volcanoes upon the Tops. Neither do the most Learned know what sort of Mortals
inhabit beyond those Mountains, or whether they be inhabited at all. On the
three other Sides it is bounded by the Ocean. There is not one Sea-port in the
whole Kingdom; and those Parts of the Coasts into which the Rivers issue, are so
full of pointed Rocks, and the Sea generally so rough, that there is no
venturing with the smallest of their Boats; so that these People are wholly
excluded from any Commerce with the rest of the World. But the large Rivers are
full of Vessels, and abound with excellent Fish; for they seldom get any from
the Sea, because the Sea-fish are of the same Size with those in Europe, and
consequently not worth catching; whereby it is manifest, that Nature in the
Production of Plants and Animals of so extraordinary a Bulk, is wholly confined
to this Continent; of which I leave the Reasons to be determined by
Philosophers. However, now and then they take a Whale that happens to be dashed
against the Rocks, which the common People feed on heartily. These Whales I have
known so large that a Man could hardly carry one upon his Shoulders; and
sometimes for Curiosity they are brought in Hampers to Lorbrulgrud: I saw one of
them in a Dish at the King's Table, which passed for a Rarity; but I did not
observe he was fond of it; for I think indeed the Bigness disgusted him,
although I have seen one somewhat larger in Greenland.
    The Country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty one Cities, near an
hundred walled Towns, and a great Number of Villages. To satisfy my curious
Reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. This City stands upon
almost two equal Parts on each Side the River that passes through. It contains
above eighty thousand Houses. It is in Length three Glonglungs (which make about
fifty four English Miles) and two and a half in Breadth, as I measured it myself
in the Royal Map made by the King's Order, which was laid on the Ground on
purpose for me, and extended an hundred Feet; I paced the Diameter and
Circumference several times Bare-foot, and computing by the Scale, measured it
pretty exactly.
    The King's Palace is no regular Edifice, but an Heap of Buildings about
seven Miles round: The chief Rooms are generally two hundred and forty Foot
high, and broad and long in Proportion. A Coach was allowed to Glumdalclitch and
me, wherein her Governess frequently took her out to see the Town, or go among
the Shops; and I was always of the Party, carried in my Box; although the Girl
at my own Desire would often take me out, and hold me in her Hand, that I might
more conveniently view the House and the People as we passed along the Streets.
I reckoned our Coach to be about a Square of Westminster-Hall, but not
altogether so High; however, I cannot be very exact. One Day the Governess
ordered our Coachman to stop at several Shops; where the Beggars watching their
Opportunity, crowded to the Sides of the Coach, and gave me the most horrible
Spectacles that ever an European Eye beheld. There was a Woman with a Cancer in
her Breast, swelled to a monstrous Size, full of Holes, in two or three of which
I could have easily crept, and covered my whole Body. There was a Fellow with a
Wen in his Neck, larger than five Woolpacks; and another with a couple of wooden
Legs, each about twenty Foot high. But, the most hateful Sight of all was the
Lice crawling on their clothes: I could see distinctly the Limbs of these Vermin
with my naked Eye, much better than those of an European Louse through a
Microscope; and their Snouts with which they rooted like Swine. They were the
first I had ever beheld; and I should have been curious enough to dissect one of
them, if I had proper Instruments (which I unluckily left behind me in the Ship)
although indeed the Sight was so nauseous, that it perfectly turned my Stomach.
    Beside the large Box in which I was usually carried, the Queen ordered a
smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve Foot Square, and ten high, for
the Convenience of Travelling; because the other was somewhat too large for
Glumdalclitch's Lap, and cumbersom in the Coach; it was made by the same Artist,
whom I directed in the whole Contrivance. This travelling Closet was an exact
Square with a Window in the Middle of three of the Squares, and each Window was
latticed with Iron Wire on the outside, to prevent Accidents in long Journeys.
On the fourth Side, which had no Window, two strong Staples were fixed, through
which the Person that carried me, when I had a Mind to be on Horseback, put in a
Leathern Belt, and buckled it about his Waist. This was always the Office of
some grave trusty Servant in whom I could confide, whether I attended the King
and Queen in their Progresses, or were disposed to see the Gardens, or pay a
Visit to some great Lady or Minister of State in the Court, when Glumdalclitch
happened to be out of Order: For I soon began to be known and esteemed among the
greatest Officers, I suppose more upon Account of their Majesty's Favour, than
any Merit of my own. In Journeys, when I was weary of the Coach, a Servant on
Horseback would buckle my Box, and place it on a Cushion before him; and there I
had a full Prospect of the Country on three Sides from my three Windows. I had
in this Closet a Field-Bed and a Hammock hung from the Ceiling, two Chairs and a
Table, neatly screwed to the Floor, to prevent being tossed about by the
Agitation of the Horse or the Coach. And having been long used to Sea-Voyages,
those Motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much discompose me.
    Whenever I had a Mind to see the Town, it was always in my
Travelling-Closet; which Glumdalclitch held in her Lap in a kind of open Sedan,
after the Fashion of the Country, born by four Men, and attended by two others
in the Queen's Livery. The People who had often heard of me, were very curious
to crowd about the Sedan; and the Girl was complaisant enough to make the
Bearers stop, and to take me in her Hand that I might be more conveniently seen.
    I was very desirous to see the chief Temple, and particularly the Tower
belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the Kingdom. Accordingly one
Day my Nurse carried me thither, but I may truly say I came back disappointed;
for, the Height is not above three thousand Foot, reckoning from the Ground to
the highest Pinnacle top; which allowing for the Difference between the Size of
those People, and us in Europe, is no great matter for Admiration, nor at all
equal in Proportion, (if I rightly remember) to Salisbury Steeple. But, not to
detract from a Nation to which during my Life I shall acknowledge myself
extremely obliged; it must be allowed, that whatever this famous Tower wants in
Height, is amply made up in Beauty and Strength. For the Walls are near an
hundred Foot thick, built of hewn Stone, whereof each is about forty Foot
square, and adorned on all Sides with Statues of Gods and Emperors cut in Marble
larger than the Life, placed in their several Niches. I measured a little Finger
which had fallen down from one of these Statues, and lay unperceived among some
Rubbish; and found it exactly four Foot and an Inch in Length. Glumdalclitch
wrapped it up in a Handkerchief, and carried it home in her Pocket to keep among
other Trinkets, of which the Girl was very fond, as Children at her Age usually
are.
    The King's Kitchen is indeed a noble Building, vaulted at Top, and about six
hundred Foot high. The great Oven is not so wide by ten Paces as the Cupola at
St. Paul's: For I measured the latter on purpose after my Return. But if I
should describe the Kitchen-grate, the prodigious Pots and Kettles, the Joints
of Meat turning on the Spits, with many other Particulars; perhaps I should be
hardly believed; at least a severe Critick would be apt to think I enlarged a
little, as Travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which Censure, I fear
I have run too much into the other Extream; and that if this Treatise should
happen to be translated into the Language of Brobdingnag, (which is the general
Name of that Kingdom) and transmitted thither; the King and his People would
have Reason to complain; that I had done them an Injury by a false and
diminutive Representation.
    His Majesty seldom keeps above six hundred Horses in his Stables: They are
generally from fifty four to sixty Foot high. But, when he goes abroad on solemn
Days, he is attended for State by a Militia Guard of five hundred Horse, which
indeed I thought was the most splendid Sight that could be ever beheld, till I
saw part of his Army in Battalia: whereof I shall find another Occasion to
speak.
 

                                    Chap. V.

Several Adventures that happened to the Author. The Execution of a Criminal. The
Author shows his Skill in Navigation.
 
I should have lived happy enough in that Country, if my Littleness had not
exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome Accidents; some of which I
shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into the Gardens of the
Court in my smaller Box, and would sometimes take me out of it and hold me in
her Hand, or set me down to walk. I remember, before the Dwarf left the Queen,
he followed us one Day into those Gardens; and my Nurse having set me down, he
and I being close together, near some Dwarf Apple-trees, I must need show my Wit
by a silly Allusion between him and the Trees, which happens to hold in their
Language as it doth in ours. Whereupon, the malicious Rogue watching his
Opportunity, when I was walking under one of them, shook it directly over my
Head, by which a dozen Apples, each of them near as large as a Bristol Barrel,
came tumbling about my Ears; one of them hit me on the Back as I chanced to
stoop, and knocked me down flat on my Face, but I received no other Hurt; and
the Dwarf was pardoned at my Desire, because I had given the Provocation.
    Another Day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth Grass-plot to divert my self
while she walked at some Distance with her Governess. In the mean time, there
suddenly fell such a violent Shower of Hail, that I was immediately by the Force
of it struck to the Ground: And when I was down, the Hail-stones gave me such
cruel Bangs all over the Body, as if I had been pelted with Tennis-Balls;
however I made a Shift to creep on all four, and shelter my self by lying flat
on my Face on the Lee-side of a Border of Lemmon Thyme; but so bruised from Head
to Foot, that I could not go abroad in ten Days. Neither is this at all to be
wondered at; because Nature in that Country observing the same Proportion
through all her Operations, a Hail-stone is near Eighteen Hundred Times as large
as one in Europe; which I can assert upon Experience, having been so curious to
weigh and measure them.
    But, a more dangerous Accident happened to me in the same Garden, when my
little Nurse, believing she had put me in a secure Place, which I often
entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my own Thoughts; and having left my Box
at home to avoid the Trouble of carrying it, went to another Part of the Garden
with her Governess and some Ladies of her Acquaintance. While she was absent and
out of hearing, a small white Spaniel belonging to one of the chief Gardiners,
having got by Accident into the Garden, happened to range near the Place where I
lay. The Dog following the Scent, came directly up, and taking me in his Mouth,
ran strait to his Master, wagging his Tail, and set me gently on the Ground. By
good Fortune he had been so well taught, that I was carried between his Teeth
without the least Hurt, or even tearing my clothes. But, the poor Gardiner, who
knew me well, and had a great Kindness for me, was in a terrible Fright. He
gently took me up in both his Hands, and asked me how I did; but I was so amazed
and out of Breath, that I could not speak a Word. In a few Minutes I came to my
self, and he carried me safe to my little Nurse, who by this time had returned
to the Place where she left me, and was in cruel Agonies when I did not appear,
nor answer when she called; she severely reprimanded the Gardiner on Account of
his Dog. But, the Thing was hushed up, and never known at Court; for the Girl
was afraid of the Queen's Anger; and truly as to my self, I thought it would not
be for my Reputation that such a Story should go about.
    This Accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust me abroad
for the future out of her Sight. I had been long afraid of this Resolution; and
therefore concealed from her some little unlucky Adventures that happened in
those Times when I was left by my self. Once a Kite hovering over the Garden,
made a Stoop at me, and if I had not resolutely drawn my Hanger, and run under a
thick Espalier, he would have certainly carried me away in his Talons. Another
time, walking to the Top of a fresh Mole-hill, I fell to my Neck in the Hole
through which that Animal had cast up the Earth; and coined some Lye not worth
remembering, to excuse my self for spoiling my clothes. I likewise broke my right
Shin against the Shell of a Snail, which I happened to stumble over, as I was
walking alone, and thinking on poor England.
    I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe in those
solitary Walks, that the smaller Birds did not appear to be at all afraid of me;
but would hop about within a Yard Distance, looking for Worms, and other Food,
with as much Indifference and Security as if no Creature at all were near them.
I remember, a Thrush had the Confidence to snatch out of my Hand with his Bill,
a Piece of Cake that Glumdalclitch had just given me for my Breakfast. When I
attempted to catch any of these Birds, they would boldly turn against me,
endeavouring to pick my Fingers, which I durst not venture within their Reach;
and then they would hop back unconcerned to hunt for Worms or Snails, as they
did before. But, one Day I took a thick Cudgel, and threw it with all my
Strength so luckily at a Linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing him by the
Neck with both my Hands, ran with him in Triumph to my Nurse. However, the Bird
who had only been stunned, recovering himself, gave me so many Boxes with his
Wings on both Sides of my Head and Body, although I held him at Arms Length, and
was out of the Reach of his Claws, that I was twenty Times thinking to let him
go. But I was soon relieved by one of our Servants, who wrung off the Bird's
Neck; and I had him next Day for Dinner by the Queen's Command. This Linnet, as
near as I can remember, seemed to be somewhat larger than an English Swan.
    The Maids of Honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their Apartments, and
desired she would bring me along with her, on Purpose to have the Pleasure of
seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked from Top to Toe, and lay
me at full Length in their Bosoms; wherewith I was much disgusted; because, to
say the Truth, a very offensive Smell came from their Skins; which I do not
mention or intend to the Disadvantage of those excellent Ladies, for whom I have
all Manner of Respect: But, I conceive, that my Sense was more acute in
Proportion to my Littleness; and that those illustrious Persons were no more
disagreeable to their Lovers, or to each other, than People of the same Quality
are with us in England. And, after all, I found their natural Smell was much
more supportable than when they used Perfumes, under which I immediately swooned
away. I cannot forget, that an intimate Friend of mine in Lilliput took the
Freedom in a warm Day, when I had used a good deal of Exercise, to complain of a
strong Smell about me; although I am as little faulty that way as most of my
Sex: But I suppose, his Faculty of Smelling was as nice with regard to me, as
mine was to that of this People. Upon this Point, I cannot forbear doing Justice
to the Queen my Mistress, and Glumdalclitch my Nurse; whose Persons were as
sweet as those of any Lady in England.
    That which gave me most Uneasiness among these Maids of Honour, when my
Nurse carried me to visit them, was to see them use me without any Manner of
Ceremony, like a Creature who had no Sort of Consequence. For, they would strip
themselves to the Skin, and put on their Smocks in my Presence, while I was
placed on their Toylet directly before their naked Bodies; which, I am sure, to
me was very far from being a tempting Sight, or from giving me any other Motions
than those of Horror and Disgust. Their Skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so
variously coloured when I saw them near, with a Mole here and there as broad as
a Trencher, and Hairs hanging from it thicker than Pack-threads; to say nothing
further concerning the rest of their Persons. Neither did they at all scruple
while I was by, to discharge what they had drunk, to the Quantity of at least
two Hogsheads, in a Vessel that held above three Tuns. The handsomest among
these Maids of Honour, a pleasant frolicksome Girl of sixteen, would sometimes
set me astride upon one of her Nipples; with many other Tricks, wherein the
Reader will excuse me for not being over particular. But, I was so much
displeased, that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some excuse for not
seeing that young Lady any more.
    One Day, a young Gentleman who was Nephew to my Nurse's Governess, came and
pressed them both to see an Execution. It was of a Man who had murdered one of
that Gentleman's intimate Acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of
the Company, very much against her Inclination, for she was naturally tender
hearted: And, as for my self, although I abhorred such Kind of Spectacles; yet
my Curiosity tempted me to see something that I thought must be extraordinary.
The Malefactor was fixed in a Chair upon a Scaffold erected for the Purpose; and
his Head cut off at one Blow with a Sword of about forty Foot long. The Veins
and Arteries spouted up such a prodigious Quantity of Blood, and so high in the
Air, that the great Jet d'Eau at Versailles was not equal for the Time it
lasted; and the Head when it fell on the Scaffold Floor, gave such a Bounce, as
made me start, although I were at least an English Mile distant.
    The Queen, who often used to hear me talk of my Sea-Voyages, and took all
Occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether I understood how
to handle a Sail or an Oar; and whether a little Exercise of Rowing might not be
convenient for my Health. I answered, that I understood both very well. For
although my proper Employment had been to be Surgeon or Doctor to the Ship; yet
often upon a Pinch, I was forced to work like a common Mariner. But, I could not
see how this could be done in their Country, where the smallest Wherry was equal
to a first Rate Man of War among us; and such a Boat as I could manage, would
never live in any of their Rivers: Her Majesty said, if I would contrive a Boat,
her own Joyner should make it, and she would provide a Place for me to sail in.
The Fellow was an ingenious Workman, and by my Instructions in ten Days finished
a Pleasure-Boat with all its Tackling, able conveniently to hold eight
Europeans. When it was finished, the Queen was so delighted, that she ran with
it in her Lap to the King, who ordered it to be put in a Cistern full of Water,
with me in it, by way of Tryal; where I could not manage my two Sculls or little
Oars for want of Room. But, the Queen had before contrived another Project. She
ordered the Joyner to make a wooden Trough of three Hundred Foot long, fifty
broad, and eight deep; which being well pitched to prevent leaking, was placed
on the Floor along the Wall, in an outer Room of the Palace. It had a Cock near
the Bottom, to let out the Water when it began to grow stale; and two Servants
could easily fill it in half an Hour. Here I often used to row for my Diversion,
as well as that of the Queen and her Ladies, who thought themselves agreeably
entertained with my Skill and Agility. Sometimes I would put up my Sail, and
then my Business was only to steer, while the Ladies gave me a Gale with their
Fans; and when they were weary, some of the Pages would blow my Sail forward
with their Breath, while I showed my Art by steering Starboard or Larboard as I
pleased. When I had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my Boat into her
Closet, and hung it on a Nail to dry.
    In this Exercise I once met an Aciddent which had like to have cost me my
Life. For, one of the Pages having put my Boat into the Trough; the Governess
who attended Glumdalclitch, very officiously lifted me up to place me in the
Boat; but I happened to slip through her Fingers, and should have infallibly
fallen down forty Foot upon the Floor, if by the luckiest Chance in the World, I
had not been stop'd by a Corking-pin that stuck in the good Gentlewoman's
Stomacher; the Head of the Pin passed between my Shirt and the Waistband of my
Breeches; and thus I was held by the Middle in the Air, till Glumdalclitch ran
to my Relief.
    Another time, one of the Servants, whose Office it was to fill my Trough
every third Day with fresh Water; was so careless to let a huge Frog (not
perceiving it) slip out of his Pail. The Frog lay concealed till I was put into
my Boat, but then seeing a resting Place, climbed up, and made it lean so much
on one Side, that I was forced to balance it with all my Weight on the other, to
prevent overturning. When the Frog was got in, it hopped at once half the Length
of the Boat, and then over my Head, backwards and forwards, dawbing my Face and
clothes with its odious Slime. The Largeness of its Features made it appear the
most deformed Animal that can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to
let me deal with it alone. I banged it a good while with one of my Sculls, and
at last forced it to leap out of the Boat.
    But, the greatest Danger I ever underwent in that Kingdom, was from a
Monkey, who belonged to one of the Clerks of the Kitchen. Glumdalclitch had
locked me up in her Closet, while she went somewhere upon Business, or a Visit.
The Weather being very warm, the Closet Window was left open, as well as the
Windows and the Door of my bigger Box, in which I usually lived, because of its
Largeness and Conveniency. As I sat quietly meditating at my Table, I heard
something bounce in at the Closet Window, and skip about from one Side to the
other; whereat, although I were much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but
not stirring from my Seat; and then I saw this frolicksome Animal, frisking and
leaping up and down, till at last he came to my Box, which he seemed to view
with great Pleasure and Curiosity, peeping in at the Door and every Window. I
retreated to the farther Corner of my Room, or Box; but the Monkey looking in at
every Side, put me into such a Fright, that I wanted Presence of Mind to conceal
my self under the Bed, as I might easily have done. After some time spent in
peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at last espyed me; and reaching one of his
Paws in at the Door, as a Cat does when she plays with a Mouse, although I often
shifted Place to avoid him; he at length seized the Lappet of my Coat (which
being made of that Country Silk, was very thick and strong) and dragged me out.
He took me up in his right Fore-foot, and held me as a Nurse doth a Child she is
going to suckle; just as I have seen the same Sort of Creature do with a Kitten
in Europe: And when I offered to struggle, he squeezed me so hard, that I
thought it more prudent to submit. I have good Reason to believe that he took me
for a young one of his own Species, by his often streaking my Face very gently
with his other Paw. In these Diversions he was interrupted by a Noise at the
Closet Door, as if some Body were opening it; whereupon he suddenly leaped up to
the Window at which he had come in, and thence upon the Leads and Gutters,
walking upon three Legs, and holding me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a
Roof that was next to ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a Shriek at the Moment he
was carrying me out. The poor Girl was almost distracted: That Quarter of the
Palace was all in an Uproar; the Servants ran for Ladders; the Monkey was seen
by Hundreds in the Court, sitting upon the Ridge of a Building, holding me like
a Baby in one of his Fore-Paws, and feeding me with the other, by cramming into
my Mouth some Victuals he had squeezed out of the Bag on one Side of his Chaps,
and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many of the Rabble below could not
forbear laughing; neither do I think they justly ought to be blamed; for without
Question, the Sight was ridiculous enough to every Body but my self. Some of the
People threw up Stones, hoping to drive the Monkey down; but this was strictly
forbidden, or else very probably my Brains had been dashed out.
    The Ladders were now applied, and mounted by several Men; which the Monkey
observing, and finding himself almost encompassed; not being able to make Speed
enough with his three Legs, let me drop on a Ridge-Tyle, and made his Escape.
Here I sat for some time five Hundred Yards from the Ground, expecting every
Moment to be blown down by the Wind, or to fall by my own Giddiness, and come
tumbling over and over from the Ridge to the Eves. But an honest Lad, one of my
Nurse's Footmen, climbed up, and putting me into his Breeches Pocket, brought me
down safe.
    I was almost choaked with the filthy Stuff the Monkey had crammed down my
Throat; but, my dear little Nurse picked it out of my Mouth with a small Needle;
and then I fell a vomiting, which gave me great Relief. Yet I was so weak and
bruised in the Sides with the Squeezes given me by this odious Animal, that I
was forced to keep my Bed a Fortnight. The King, Queen, and all the Court, sent
every Day to enquire after my Health; and her Majesty made me several Visits
during my Sickness. The Monkey was killed, and an Order made that no such Animal
should be kept about the Palace.
    When I attended the King after my Recovery, to return him Thanks for his
Favours, he was pleased to railly me a good deal upon this Adventure. He asked
me what my Thoughts and Speculations were while I lay in the Monkey's Paw; how I
liked the Victuals he gave me, his Manner of Feeding; and whether the fresh Air
on the Roof had sharpened my Stomach. He desired to know what I would have done
upon such an Occasion in my own Country. I told his Majesty, that in Europe we
had no Monkies, except such as were brought for Curiosities from other Places,
and so small, that I could deal with a Dozen of them together, if they presumed
to attack me. And as for that monstrous Animal with whom I was so lately
engaged, (it was indeed as large as an Elephant) if my Fears had suffered me to
think so far as to make Use of my Hanger (looking fiercely, and clapping my Hand
upon the Hilt as I spoke) when he poked his Paw into my Chamber, perhaps I
should have given him such a Wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it
with more Haste than he put it in. This I delivered in a firm Tone, like a
Person who was jealous lest his Courage should be called in Question. However,
my Speech produced nothing else besides a loud Laughter; which all the Respect
due to his Majesty from those about him, could not make them contain. This made
me reflect, how vain an Attempt it is for a Man to endeavour doing himself
Honour among those who are out of all Degree of Equality or Comparison with him.
And yet I have seen the Moral of my own Behaviour very frequent in England since
my Return; where a little contemptible Varlet, without the least Title to Birth,
Person, Wit, or common Sense, shall presume to look with Importance, and put
himself upon a Foot with the greatest Persons of the Kingdom.
    I was every Day furnishing the Court with some ridiculous Story; and
Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to Excess, yet was arch enough to inform
the Queen, whenever I committed any Folly that she thought would be diverting to
her Majesty. The Girl who had been out of Order, was carried by her Governess to
take the Air about an Hour's Distance, or thirty Miles from Town. They alighted
out of the Coach near a small Footpath in a Field; and Glumdalclitch setting
down my travelling Box, I went out of it to walk. There was a Cow-dung in the
Path, and I must needs try my Activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a
Run, but unfortunately jumped short, and found my self just in the Middle up to
my Knees. I waded through with some Difficulty, and one of the Footmen wiped me
as clean as he could with his Handkerchief; for I was filthily bemired, and my
Nurse confined me to my Box until we returned home; where the Queen was soon
informed of what had passed, and the Footmen spread it about the Court; so that
all the Mirth, for some Days, was at my Expense.
 

                                   Chap. VI.

Several Contrivances of the Author to please the King and Queen. He shows his
Skill in Musick. The King enquires into the State of Europe, which the Author
relates to him. The King's Observations thereon.
 
I used to attend the King's Levee once or twice a Week, and had often seen him
under the Barber's Hand, which indeed was at first very terrible to behold. For,
the Razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary Scythe. His Majesty, according
to the Custom of the Country, was only shaved twice a Week. I once prevailed on
the Barber to give me some of the Suds or Lather, out of which I picked Forty or
Fifty of the strongest Stumps of Hair. I then took a Piece of fine Wood, and cut
it like the Back of a Comb, making several Holes in it at equal Distance, with
as small a Needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the Stumps so
artificially, scraping and sloping them with my Knife towards the Points, that I
made a very tolerable Comb; which was a seasonable Supply, my own being so much
broken in the Teeth, that it was almost useless: Neither did I know any Artist
in that Country so nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another.
    And this puts me in mind of an Amusement wherein I spent many of my leisure
Hours. I desired the Queen's Woman to save for me the Combings of her Majesty's
Hair, whereof in time I got a good Quantity; and consulting with my Friend the
Cabinetmaker, who had received general Orders to do little Jobbs for me; I
directed him to make two Chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my Box, and
then to bore little Holes with a fine Awl round those Parts where I designed the
Backs and Seats; through these Holes I wove the strongest Hairs I could pick
out, just after the Manner of Cane-chairs in England. When they were finished, I
made a Present of them to her Majesty, who kept them in her Cabinet, and used to
show them for Curiosities; as indeed they were the Wonder of every one who
beheld them. The Queen would have had me sit upon one of these Chairs, but I
absolutely refused to obey her; protesting I would rather dye a Thousand Deaths
than place a dishonourable Part of my Body on those precious Hairs that once
adorned her Majesty's Head. Of these Hairs (as I had always a Mechanical Genius)
I likewise made a neat little Purse about five Foot long, with her Majesty's
Name decyphered in Gold Letters; which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the Queen's
Consent. To say the Truth, it was more for Shew than Use, being not of Strength
to bear the Weight of the larger Coins; and therefore she kept nothing in it,
but some little Toys that Girls are fond of.
    The King, who delighted in Musick, had frequent Consorts at Court, to which
I was sometimes carried, and set in my Box on a Table to hear them: But, the
Noise was so great, that I could hardly distinguish the Tunes. I am confident,
that all the Drums and Trumpets of a Royal Army, beating and sounding together
just at your Ears, could not equal it. My Practice was to have my Box removed
from the Places where the Performers sat, as far as I could; then to shut the
Doors and Windows of it, and draw the Window-Curtains; after which I found their
Musick not disagreeable.
    I had learned in my Youth to play a little upon the Spinet; Glumdalclitch
kept one in her Chamber, and a Master attended twice a Week to teach her: I call
it a Spinet, because it somewhat resembled that Instrument, and was play'd upon
in the same Manner. A Fancy came into my Head, that I would entertain the King
and Queen with an English Tune upon this Instrument. But this appeared extremely
difficult: For, the Spinet was near sixty Foot long, each Key being almost a
Foot wide; so that, with my Arms extended, I could not reach to above five Keys;
and to press them down required a good smart stroak with my Fist, which would be
too great a Labour, and to no purpose. The Method I contrived was this. I
prepared two round Sticks about the Bigness of common Cudgels; they were thicker
at one End than the other; and I covered the thicker End with a Piece of a
Mouse's Skin, that by rapping on them, I might neither Damage the Tops of the
Keys, nor interrupt the Sound. Before the Spinet, a Bench was placed about four
Foot below the Keys, and I was put upon the Bench. I ran sideling upon it that
way and this, as fast as I could, banging the proper Keys with my two Sticks;
and made a shift to play a Jigg to the great Satisfaction of both their
Majesties: But, it was the most violent Exercise I ever underwent, and yet I
could not strike above sixteen Keys, nor, consequently, play the Bass and Treble
together, as other Artists do; which was a great Disadvantage to my Performance.
    The King, who as I before observed, was a Prince of excellent Understanding,
would frequently order that I should be brought in my Box, and set upon the
Table in his Closet. He would then command me to bring one of my Chairs out of
the Box, and sit down within three Yards Distance upon the Top of the Cabinet;
which brought me almost to a Level with his Face. In this Manner I had several
Conversations with him. I one Day took the Freedom to tell his Majesty, that the
Contempt he discovered towards Europe, and the rest of the World, did not seem
answerable to those excellent Qualities of Mind, that he was Master of. That,
Reason did not extend itself with the Bulk of the Body: On the contrary, we
observed in our Country, that the tallest Persons were usually least provided
with it. That among other Animals, Bees and Ants had the Reputation of more
Industry, Art, and Sagacity than many of the larger Kinds. And that, as
inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to do his Majesty some
signal Service. The King heard me with Attention; and began to conceive a much
better Opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired I would give him as
exact an Account of the Government of England as I possibly could; because, as
fond as Princes commonly are of their own Customs (for so he conjectured of
other Monarchs by my former Discourses) he should be glad to hear of any thing
that might deserve Imitation.
    Imagine with thy self, courteous Reader, how often I then wished for the
Tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to celebrate the
Praise of my own dear native Country in a Style equal to its Merits and
Felicity.
    I began my Discourse by informing his Majesty, that our Dominions consisted
of two Islands, which composed three mighty Kingdoms under one Sovereign,
besides our Plantations in America. I dwelt long upon the Fertility of our Soil,
and the Temperature of our Climate. I then spoke at large upon the Constitution
of an English Parliament, partly made up of an illustrious Body called the House
of Peers, Persons of the noblest Blood, and of the most ancient and ample
Patrimonies. I described that extraordinary Care always taken of their Education
in Arts and Arms, to qualify them for being Counsellors born to the King and
Kingdom; to have a Share in the Legislature, to be Members of the highest Court
of Judicature from whence there could be no Appeal; and to be Champions always
ready for the Defence of their Prince and Country by their Valour, Conduct and
Fidelity. That these were the Ornament and Bulwark of the Kingdom; worthy
Followers of their most renowned Ancestors, whose Honour had been the Reward of
their Virtue; from which their Posterity were never once known to degenerate. To
these were joined several holy Persons, as part of that Assembly, under the
Title of Bishops; whose peculiar Business it is, to take care of Religion, and
of those who instruct the People therein. These were searched and sought out
through the whole Nation, by the Prince and wisest Counsellors, among such of
the Priesthood, as were most deservedly distinguished by the Sanctity of their
Lives, and the Depth of their Erudition; who were indeed the spiritual Fathers
of the Clergy and the People.
    That, the other Part of the Parliament consisted of an Assembly called the
House of Commons; who were all principal Gentlemen, freely picked and culled out
by the People themselves, for their great Abilities, and Love of their Country,
to represent the Wisdom of the whole Nation. And, these two Bodies make up the
most august Assembly in Europe; to whom, in Conjunction with the Prince, the
whole Legislature is committed.
    I then descended to the Courts of Justice, over which the Judges, those
venerable Sages and Interpreters of the Law, presided, for determining the
disputed Rights and Properties of Men, as well as for the Punishment of Vice,
and Protection of Innocence. I mentioned the prudent Management of our Treasury;
the Valour and Atchievements of our Forces by Sea and Land. I computed the
Number of our People, by reckoning how many Millions there might be of each
Religious Sect, or Political Party among us. I did not omit even our Sports and
Pastimes, or any other Particular which I thought might redound to the Honour of
my Country. And, I finished all with a brief historical Account of Affairs and
Events in England for about an hundred Years past.
    This Conversation was not ended under five Audiences, each of several Hours;
and the King heard the whole with great Attention; frequently taking Notes of
what I spoke, as well as Memorandums of what Questions he intended to ask me.
    When I had put an End to these long Discourses, his Majesty in a sixth
Audience consulting his Notes, proposed many Doubts, Queries, and Objections,
upon every Article. He asked, what Methods were used to cultivate the Minds and
Bodies of our young Nobility; and in what kind of Business they commonly spent
the first and teachable Part of their Lives. What Course was taken to supply
that Assembly, when any noble Family became extinct. What Qualifications were
necessary in those who are to be created new Lords: Whether the Humour of the
Prince, a Sum of Money to a Court-Lady, or a Prime Minister; or a Design of
strengthening a Party opposite to the public Interest, ever happened to be
Motives in those Advancements. What Share of Knowledge these Lords had in the
Laws of their Country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide
the Properties of their Fellow-Subjects in the last Resort. Whether they were
always so free from Avarice, Partialities, or Want, that a Bribe, or some other
sinister View, could have no Place among them. Whether those holy Lords I spoke
of, were constantly promoted to that Rank upon Account of their Knowledge in
religious Matters, and the Sanctity of their Lives, had never been Compliers
with the Times, while they were common Priests; or slavish prostitute Chaplains
to some Nobleman, whose Opinions they continued servilely to follow after they
were admitted into that Assembly.
    He then desired to know, what Arts were practised in electing those whom I
called Commoners. Whether, a Stranger with a strong Purse might not influence
the vulgar Voters to choose him before their own Landlord, or the most
considerable Gentleman in the Neighbourhood. How it came to pass, that People
were so violently bent upon getting into this Assembly, which I allowed to be a
great Trouble and Expense, often to the Ruin of their Families, without any
Salary or Pension: Because this appeared such an exalted Strain of Virtue and
public Spirit, that his Majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always
sincere: And he desired to know, whether such zealous Gentlemen could have any
Views of refunding themselves for the Charges and Trouble they were at, by
sacrificing the public Good to the Designs of a weak and vicious Prince, in
Conjunction with a corrupted Ministry. He multiplied his Questions, and sifted
me thoroughly upon every Part of this Head; proposing numberless Enquiries and
Objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat.
    Upon what I said in relation to our Courts of Justice, his Majesty desired
to be satisfied in several Points: And, this I was the better able to do, having
been formerly almost ruined by a long Suit in Chancery, which was decreed for me
with Costs. He asked, what Time was usually spent in determining between Right
and Wrong; and what Degree of Expense. Whether Advocates and Orators had Liberty
to plead in Causes manifestly known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive.
Whether Party in Religion or Politicks were observed to be of any Weight in the
Scale of Justice. Whether those pleading Orators were Persons educated in the
general Knowledge of Equity; or only in provincial, national, and other local
Customs. Whether they or their Judges had any Part in penning those Laws, which
they assumed the Liberty of interpreting and glossing upon at their Pleasure.
Whether they had ever at different Times pleaded for and against the same Cause,
and cited Precedents to prove contrary Opinions. Whether they were a rich or a
poor Corporation. Whether they received any pecuniary Reward for pleading or
delivering their Opinions. And particularly whether they were ever admitted as
Members in the lower Senate.
    He fell next upon the Management of our Treasury; and said, he thought my
Memory had failed me, because I computed our Taxes at about five or six Millions
a Year; and when I came to mention the Issues, he found they sometimes amounted
to more than double; for, the Notes he had taken were very particular in this
Point; because he hoped, as he told me, that the Knowledge of our Conduct might
be useful to him; and he could not be deceived in his Calculations. But, if what
I told him were true, he was still at a Loss how a Kingdom could run out of its
Estate like a private Person. He asked me, who were our Creditors? and, where we
found Money to pay them? He wondered to hear me talk of such chargeable and
extensive Wars; that, certainly we must be a quarrelsome People, or live among
very bad Neighbours; and that our Generals must needs be richer than our Kings.
He asked, what Business we had out of our own Islands, unless upon the Score of
Trade or Treaty, or to defend the Coasts with our Fleet. Above all, he was
amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing Army in the Midst of Peace, and
among a free People. He said, if we were governed by our own Consent in the
Persons of our Representatives, he could not imagine of whom we were afraid, or
against whom we were to fight; and would hear my Opinion, whether a private
Man's House might not better be defended by himself, his Children, and Family;
than by half a Dozen Rascals picked up at a Venture in the Streets, for small
Wages, who might get an Hundred Times more by cutting their Throats.
    He laughed at my odd Kind of Arithmetick (as he was pleased to call it) in
reckoning the Numbers of our People by a Computation drawn from the several
Sects among us in Religion and Politicks. He said, he knew no Reason, why those
who entertain Opinions prejudicial to the Publick, should be obliged to change,
or should not be obliged to conceal them. And, as it was Tyranny in any
Government to require the first, so it was Weakness not to enforce the second:
For, a Man may be allowed to keep Poisons in his Closet, but not to vend them
about as Cordials.
    He observed, that among the Diversions of our Nobility and Gentry, I had
mentioned Gaming. He desired to know at what Age this Entertainment was usually
taken up, and when it was laid down. How much of their Time it employed; whether
it ever went so high as to affect their Fortunes. Whether mean vicious People,
by their Dexterity in that Art, might not arrive at great Riches, and sometimes
keep our very Nobles in Dependance, as well as habituate them to vile
Companions; wholly take them from the Improvement of their Minds, and force them
by the Losses they received, to learn and practice that infamous Dexterity upon
others.
    He was perfectly astonished with the historical Account I gave him of our
Affairs during the last Century; protesting it was only an Heap of Conspiracies,
Rebellions, Murders, Massacres, Revolutions, Banishments; the very worst Effects
that Avarice, Faction, Hypocrisy, Perfidiousness, Cruelty, Rage, Madness,
Hatred, Envy, Lust, Malice, and Ambition could produce.
    His Majesty in another Audience, was at the Pains to recapitulate the Sum of
all I had spoken; compared the Questions he made, with the Answers I had given;
then taking me into his Hands, and stroaking me gently, delivered himself in
these Words, which I shall never forget, nor the Manner he spoke them in. My
little Friend Grildrig; you have made a most admirable Panegyrick upon your
Country. You have clearly proved that Ignorance, Idleness, and Vice are the
proper Ingredients for qualifying a Legislator. That Laws are best explained,
interpreted, and applied by those whose Interest and Abilities lie in
perverting, confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you some Lines of an
Institution, which in its Original might have been tolerable; but these half
erased, and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by Corruptions. It doth not
appear from all you have said, how any one Perfection is required towards the
Procurement of any one Station among you; much less that Men are ennobled on
Account of their Virtue, that Priests are advanced for their Piety or Learning,
Soldiers for their Conduct or Valour, Judges for their Integrity, Senators for
the Love of their Country, or Counsellors for their Wisdom. As for yourself
(continued the King) who have spent the greatest Part of your Life in
travelling; I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped many Vices
of your Country. But, by what I have gathered from your own Relation, and the
Answers I have with much Pains wringed and extorted from you; I cannot but
conclude the Bulk of your Natives, to be the most pernicious Race of little
odious Vermin that Nature ever suffered to crawl upon the Surface of the Earth.
 

                                   Chap. VII.

The Author's Love of his Country. He makes a Proposal of much Advantage to the
King; which is rejected. The King's great Ignorance in Politicks. The Learning
of that Country very imperfect and confined. Their Laws, and military Affairs,
and Parties in the State.
 
Nothing but an extreme Love of Truth could have hindered me from concealing this
Part of my Story. It was in vain to discover my Resentments, which were always
turned into Ridicule: And I was forced to rest with Patience, while my noble and
most beloved Country was so injuriously treated. I am heartily sorry as any of
my Readers can possibly be, that such an Occasion was given: But this Prince
happened to be so curious and inquisitive upon every Particular, that it could
not consist either with Gratitude or good Manners to refuse giving him what
Satisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be allowed to say in my own
Vindication; that I artfully eluded many of his Questions; and gave to every
Point a more favourable turn by many Degrees than the strictness of Truth would
allow. For, I have always born that laudable Partiality to my own Country, which
Dionysius Halicarnassensis with so much Justice recommends to an Historian. I
would hide the Frailties and Deformities of my Political Mother, and place her
Virtues and Beauties in the most advantageous Light. This was my sincere
Endeavour in those many Discourses I had with that Monarch, although it
unfortunately failed of Success.
    But, great Allowances should be given to a King who lives wholly secluded
from the rest of the World, and must therefore be altogether unacquainted with
the Manners and Customs that most prevail in other Nations: The want of which
Knowledge will ever produce many Prejudices, and a certain Narrowness of
Thinking; from which we and the politer Countries of Europe are wholly exempted.
And it would be hard indeed, if so remote a Prince's Notions of Virtue and Vice
were to be offered as a Standard for all Mankind.
    To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the miserable Effects
of a confined Education; I shall here insert a Passage which will hardly obtain
Belief. In hopes to ingratiate my self farther into his Majesty's Favour, I told
him of an Invention discovered between three and four hundred Years ago, to make
a certain Powder; into an heap of which the smallest Spark of Fire falling,
would kindle the whole in a Moment, although it were as big as a Mountain; and
make it all fly up in the Air together, with a Noise and Agitation greater than
Thunder. That, a proper Quantity of this Powder rammed into an hollow Tube of
Brass or Iron, according to its Bigness, would drive a Ball of Iron or Lead with
such Violence and Speed, as nothing was able to sustain its Force. That, the
largest Balls thus discharged, would not only Destroy whole Ranks of an Army at
once; but batter the strongest Walls to the Ground; sink down Ships with a
thousand Men in each, to the Bottom of the Sea; and when linked together by a
Chain, would cut through Masts and Rigging; divide Hundreds of Bodies in the
Middle, and lay all Waste before them. That we often put this Powder into large
hollow Balls of Iron, and discharged them by an Engine into some City we were
besieging; which would rip up the Pavement, tear the Houses to Pieces, burst and
throw Splinters on every Side, dashing out the Brains of all who came near. That
I knew the Ingredients very well, which were Cheap, and common; I understood the
Manner of compounding them, and could direct his Workmen how to make those Tubes
of a Size proportionable to all other Things in his Majesty's Kingdom; and the
largest need not be above two hundred Foot long; twenty or thirty of which
Tubes, charged with the proper Quantity of Powder and Balls, would batter down
the Walls of the strongest Town in his Dominions in a few Hours; or destroy the
whole Metropolis, if ever it should pretend to dispute his absolute Commands.
This I humbly offered to his Majesty, as a small Tribute of Acknowledgment in
return of so many Marks that I had received of his Royal Favour and Protection.
    The King was struck with Horror at the Description I had given of those
terrible Engines, and the Proposal I had made. He was amazed how so impotent and
groveling an Insect as I (these were his Expressions) could entertain such
inhuman Ideas, and in so familiar a Manner as to appear wholly unmoved at all
the Scenes of Blood and Desolation, which I had painted as the common Effects of
those destructive Machines; whereof he said, some evil Genius, Enemy to Mankind,
must have been the first Contriver. As for himself, he protested, that although
few Things delighted him so much as new Discoveries in Art or in Nature; yet he
would rather lose Half his Kingdom than be privy to such a Secret; which he
commanded me, as I valued my Life, never to mention any more.
    A strange Effect of narrow Principles and short Views! that a Prince
possessed of every Quality which procures Veneration, Love and Esteem; of strong
Parts, great Wisdom and profound Learning; endued with admirable Talents for
Government, and almost adored by his Subjects; should from a nice unnecessary
Scruple, whereof in Europe we can have no Conception, let slip an Opportunity
put into his Hands, that would have made him absolute Master of the Lives, the
Liberties, and the Fortunes of his People. Neither do I say this with the least
Intention to detract from the many Virtues of that excellent King; whose
Character I am sensible will on this Account be very much lessened in the
Opinion of an English Reader: But, I take this Defect among them to have risen
from their Ignorance; by not having hitherto reduced Politicks into a Science,
as the more acute Wits of Europe have done. For, I remember very well, in a
Discourse one Day with the King; when I happened to say, there were several
thousand Books among us written upon the Art of Government; it gave him
(directly contrary to my Intention) a very mean Opinion of our Understandings.
He professed both to abominate and despise all Mystery, Refinement, and
Intrigue, either in a Prince or a Minister. He could not tell what I meant by
Secrets of State, where an Enemy or some Rival Nation were not in the Case. He
confined the Knowledge of governing within very narrow Bounds; to common Sense
and Reason, to Justice and Lenity, to the Speedy Determination of Civil and
criminal Causes; with some other obvious Topicks which are not worth
considering. And, he gave it for his Opinion; that whoever could make two Ears
of Corn, or two Blades of Grass to grow upon a Spot of Ground where only one
grew before; would deserve better of Mankind, and do more essential Service to
his Country, than the whole Race of Politicians put together.
    The Learning of this People is very defective; consisting only in Morality,
History, Poetry and Mathematicks; wherein they must be allowed to excel. But,
the last of these is wholly applied to what may be useful in Life; to the
Improvement of Agriculture and all mechanical Arts; so that among us it would be
little esteemed. And as to Ideas, Entities, Abstractions and Transcendentals, I
could never drive the least Conception into their Heads.
    No Law of that Country must exceed in Words the Number of Letters in their
Alphabet; which consists only of two and twenty. But indeed, few of them extend
even to that Length. They are expressed in the most plain and simple Terms,
wherein those People are not Mercurial enough to discover above one
Interpretation. And, to write a Comment upon any Law, is a capital Crime. As to
the Decision of civil Causes, or Proceedings against Criminals, their Precedents
are so few, that they have little Reason to boast of any extraordinary Skill in
either.
    They have had the Art of Printing, as well as the Chinese, Time out of Mind.
But their Libraries are not very large; for that of the King's, which is
reckoned the largest, doth not amount to above a thousand Volumes; placed in a
Gallery of twelve hundred Foot long; from whence I had Liberty to borrow what
Books I pleased. The Queen's Joyner had contrived in one of Glumdalclitch's
Rooms a Kind of wooden Machine five and twenty Foot high, formed like a standing
Ladder; the Steps were each fifty Foot long: It was indeed a moveable Pair of
Stairs, the lowest End placed at ten Foot Distance from the Wall of the Chamber.
The Book I had a Mind to read was put up leaning against the Wall. I first
mounted to the upper Step of the Ladder, and turning my Face towards the Book,
began at the Top of the Page, and so walking to the Right and Left about eight
or ten Paces according to the Length of the Lines, till I had gotten a little
below the Level of mine Eyes; and then descending gradually till I came to the
Bottom: After which I mounted again, and began the other Page in the same
Manner, and so turned over the Leaf, which I could easily do with both my Hands,
for it was as thick and stiff as a Paste-board, and in the largest Folio's not
above eighteen or twenty Foot long.
    Their Stile is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not Florid; for they avoid
nothing more than multiplying unnecessary Words, or using various Expressions. I
have perused many of their Books, especially those in History and Morality.
Among the latter I was much diverted with a little old Treatise, which always
lay in Glumdalclitch's Bedchamber, and belonged to her Governess, a grave
elderly Gentlewoman, who dealt in Writings of Morality and Devotion. The Book
treats of the Weakness of Human kind; and is in little Esteem except among Women
and the Vulgar. However, I was curious to see what an Author of that Country
could say upon such a Subject. This Writer went through all the usual Topicks of
European Moralists; showing how diminutive, contemptible, and helpless an Animal
was Man in his own Nature; how unable to defend himself from the Inclemencies of
the Air, or the Fury of wild Beasts: How much he was excelled by one Creature in
Strength, by another in Speed, by a third in Foresight, by a fourth in Industry.
He added, that Nature was degenerated in these latter declining Ages of the
World, and could now produce only small abortive Births in Comparison of those
in ancient Times. He said, it was very reasonable to think, not only that the
Species of Men were originally much larger, but also that there must have been
Giants in former Ages; which, as it is asserted by History and Tradition, so it
hath been confirmed by huge Bones and Sculls casually dug up in several Parts of
the Kingdom, far exceeding the common dwindled Race of Man in our Days. He
argued, that the very Laws of Nature absolutely required we should have been
made in the Beginning, of a Size more large and robust, not so liable to
Destruction from every little Accident of a Tile falling from an House, or a
Stone cast from the Hand of a Boy, or of being drowned in a little Brook. From
this Way of Reasoning the Author drew several moral Applications useful in the
Conduct of Life, but needless here to repeat. For my own Part, I could not avoid
reflecting, how universally this Talent was spread of drawing Lectures in
Morality, or indeed rather Matter of Discontent and repining, from the Quarrels
we raise with Nature. And, I believe upon a strict Enquiry, those Quarrels might
be shown as ill-grounded among us, as they are among that People.
    As to their military Affairs; they boast that the King's Army consists of an
hundred and seventy six thousand Foot, and thirty two thousand Horse: If that
may be called an Army which is made up of Tradesmen in the several Cities, and
Farmers in the Country, whose Commanders are only the Nobility and Gentry,
without Pay or Reward. They are indeed perfect enough in their Exercises; and
under very good Discipline, wherein I saw no great merit: For, how should it be
otherwise, where every Farmer is under the Command of his own Landlord, and
every Citizen under that of the principal Men in his own City, chosen after the
Manner of Venice by Ballot?
    I have often seen the Militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to Exercise in a
great Field near the City, of twenty Miles Square. They were in all not above
twenty five thousand Foot, and six thousand Horse; but it was impossible for me
to compute their Number, considering the Space of Ground they took up. A
Cavalier mounted on a large Steed might be about Ninety Foot high. I have seen
this whole Body of Horse upon the Word of Command draw their Swords at once, and
brandish them in the Air. Imagination can Figure nothing so Grand, so surprising
and so astonishing. It looked as if ten thousand Flashes of Lightning were
darting at the same time from every Quarter of the Sky.
    I was curious to know how this Prince, to whose Dominions there is no Access
from any other Country, came to think of Armies, or to teach his People the
Practice of military Discipline. But I was soon informed, both by Conversation,
and Reading their Histories. For, in the Course of many Ages they have been
troubled with the same Disease, to which the whole Race of Mankind is Subject;
the Nobility often contending for Power, the People for Liberty, and the King
for absolute Dominion. All which, however happily tempered by the Laws of that
Kingdom, have been sometimes violated by each of the three Parties; and have
more than once occasioned Civil Wars, the last whereof was happily put an End to
by this Prince's Grandfather in a general Composition; and the Militia then
settled with common Consent hath been ever since kept in the strictest Duty.
 

                                  Chap. VIII.

The King and Queen make a Progress to the Frontiers. The Author attends them.
The Manner in which he leaves the Country very particularly related. He returns
to England.
 
I had always a strong Impulse that I should some time recover my Liberty,
although it were impossible to conjecture by what Means, or to form any Project
with the least Hope of succeeding. The Ship in which I sailed was the first ever
known to be driven within Sight of that Coast; and the King had given strict
Orders, that if at any Time another appeared, it should be taken ashore, and
with all its Crew and Passengers brought in a Tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was
strongly bent to get me a Woman of my own Size, by whom I might propagate the
Breed: But I think I should rather have died than undergone the Disgrace of
leaving a Posterity to be kept in Cages like tame Canary Birds; and perhaps in
time sold about the Kingdom to Persons of Quality for Curiosities. I was indeed
treated with much Kindness; I was the Favourite of a great King and Queen, and
the Delight of the whole Court; but it was upon such a Foot as ill became the
Dignity of human Kind. I could never forget those domestick Pledges I had left
behind me. I wanted to be among People with whom I could converse upon even
Terms; and walk about the Streets and Fields without Fear of being trod to Death
like a Frog or young Puppy. But, my Deliverance came sooner than I expected, and
in a Manner not very common: The whole Story and Circumstances of which I shall
faithfully relate.
    I had now been two Years in this Country; and, about the Beginning of the
third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the King and Queen in Progress to the South
Coast of the Kingdom. I was carried as usual in my Travelling-Box, which, as I
have already described, was a very convenient Closet of twelve Foot wide. I had
ordered a Hammock to be fixed by silken Ropes from the four Corners at the Top;
to break the Jolts, when a Servant carried me before him on Horseback, as I
sometimes desired; and would often sleep in my Hammock while we were upon the
Road. On the Roof of my Closet, set not directly over the Middle of the Hammock,
I ordered the Joyner to cut out a Hole of a Foot square to give me Air in hot
Weather as I slept; which Hole I shut at pleasure with a Board that drew
backwards and forwards through a Groove.
    When we came to our Journey's End, the King thought proper to pass a few
Days at a Palace he hath near Flanflasnic, a City within eighteen English Miles
of the Sea-side. Glumdalclitch and I were much fatigued: I had gotten a small
Cold; but the poor Girl was so ill as to be confined to her Chamber. I longed to
see the Ocean, which must be the only scene of my Escape, if ever it should
happen. I pretended to be worse than I really was; and desired leave to take the
fresh Air of the Sea, with a Page whom I was very fond of, and who had sometimes
been trusted with me. I shall never forget with what Unwillingness Glumdalclitch
consented; nor the strict Charge she gave the Page to be careful of me; bursting
at the same time into a Flood of Tears, as if she had some Foreboding of what
was to happen. The Boy took me out in my Box about Half an Hour's Walk from the
Palace, towards the Rocks on the Sea-shore. I ordered him to set me down; and
lifting up one of my Sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy Look towards the
Sea. I found myself not very well; and told the Page that I had a Mind to take a
Nap in my Hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I got in, and the Boy shut
the Window close down, to keep out the Cold. I soon fell asleep: And all I can
conjecture is, that while I slept, the Page thinking no Danger could happen,
went among the Rocks to look for Birds Eggs; having before observed him from my
Window searching about, and picking up one or two in the Clefts. Be that as it
will; I found my self suddenly awake with a violent Pull upon the Ring which
was fastened at the Top of my Box, for the Conveniency of Carriage. I felt the
Box raised very high in the Air, and then born forward with prodigious Speed.
The first Jolt had like to have shaken me out of my Hammock; but afterwards the
Motion was easy enough. I called out several times as loud as I could raise my
Voice, but all to no purpose. I looked towards my Windows, and could see nothing
but the Clouds and Sky. I heard a Noise just over my Head like the clapping of
Wings; and then began to perceive the woeful Condition I was in; that some Eagle
had got the Ring of my Box in his Beak, with an Intent to let it fall on a Rock,
like a Tortoise in a Shell, and then pick out my Body and devour it. For the
Sagacity and Smell of this Bird enable him to discover his Quarry at a great
Distance, although better concealed than I could be within a two Inch Board.
    In a little time I observed the Noise and flutter of Wings to increase very
fast; and my Box was tossed up and down like a Sign-post in a windy Day. I heard
several Bangs or Buffets, as I thought, given to the Eagle (for such I am
certain it must have been that held the Ring of my Box in his Beak) and then all
on a sudden felt my self falling perpendicularly down for above a Minute; but
with such incredible Swiftness that I almost lost my Breath. My Fall was stopped
by a terrible Squash, that sounded louder to mine Ears than the Cataract of
Niagara; after which I was quite in the Dark for another Minute, and then my Box
began to rise so high that I could see Light from the Tops of my Windows. I now
perceived that I was fallen into the Sea. My Box, by the Weight of my Body, the
Goods that were in, and the broad Plates of Iron fixed for Strength at the four
Corners of the Top and Bottom, floated about five Foot deep in Water. I did
then, and do now suppose, that the Eagle which flew away with my Box was pursued
by two or three others, and forced to let me drop while he was defending himself
against the Rest, who hoped to share in the Prey. The Plates of Iron fastened at
the Bottom of the Box, (for those were the strongest) preserved the Balance
while it fell; and hindred it from being broken on the Surface of the Water.
Every Joint of it was well grooved, and the Door did not move on Hinges, but up
and down like a Sash; which kept my Closet so tight that very little Water came
in. I got with much Difficulty out of my Hammock, having first ventured to draw
back the Slip board on the Roof already mentioned, contrived on purpose to let
in Air; for want of which I found my self almost stifled.
    How often did I then wish my self with my dear Glumdalclitch, from whom one
single Hour had so far divided me! And I may say with Truth, that in the midst
of my own Misfortune, I could not forbear lamenting my poor Nurse, the Grief she
would suffer for my Loss, the Displeasure of the Queen, and the Ruin of her
Fortune. Perhaps many Travellers have not been under greater Difficulties and
Distress than I was at this Juncture; expecting every Moment to see my Box
dashed in Pieces, or at least overset by the first violent Blast, or a rising
Wave. A Breach in one single Pane of Glass would have been immediate Death: Nor
could any thing have preserved the Windows but the strong Lattice Wires placed
on the outside against Accidents in Travelling. I saw the Water ooze in at
several Crannies, although the Leaks were not considerable; and I endeavoured to
stop them as well as I could. I was not able to lift up the Roof of my Closet,
which otherwise I certainly should have done, and sat on the Top of it, where I
might at least preserve myself from being shut up, as I may call it, in the
Hold. Or, if I escaped these Dangers for a Day or two, what could I expect but a
miserable Death of Cold and Hunger! I was four Hours under these Circumstances,
expecting and indeed wishing every Moment to be my last.
    I have already told the Reader, that there were two strong Staples fixed
upon the Side of my Box which had no Window, and into which the Servant, who
used to carry me on Horseback, would put a Leathern Belt, and buckle it about
his Waist. Being in this disconsolate State, I heard, or at least thought I
heard some kind of grating Noise on that Side of my Box where the Staples were
fixed; and soon after I began to fancy that the Box was pulled, or towed along
in the Sea; for I now and then felt a sort of tugging, which made the Waves rise
near the Tops of my Windows, leaving me almost in the Dark. This gave me some
faint Hopes of Relief, although I were not able to imagine how it could be
brought about. I ventured to unscrew one of my Chairs, which were always fastened
to the Floor; and having made a hard shift to screw it down again directly under
the Slipping-board that I had lately opened; I mounted on the Chair, and putting
my Mouth as near as I could to the Hole, I called for Help in a loud Voice, and
in all the Languages I understood. I then fastened my Handkerchief to a Stick I
usually carried, and thrusting it up the Hole, waved it several times in the
Air; that if any Boat or Ship were near, the Seamen might conjecture some
unhappy Mortal to be shut up in the Box.
    I found no Effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my Closet to be
moved along; and in the Space of an Hour, or better, that Side of the Box where
the Staples were, and had no Window, struck against something that was hard. I
apprehended it to be a Rock, and found my self tossed more than ever. I plainly
heard a Noise upon the Cover of my Closet, like that of a Cable, and the grating
of it as it passed through the Ring. I then found my self hoisted up by Degrees
at least three Foot higher than I was before. Whereupon, I again thrust up my
Stick and Handkerchief, calling for Help till I was almost hoarse. In return to
which, I heard a great Shout repeated three times, giving me such Transports of
Joy as are not to be conceived but by those who feel them. I now heard a
trampling over my Head; and somebody calling through the Hole with a loud Voice
in the English Tongue: If there be any Body below, let them speak. I answered, I
was an Englishman, drawn by ill Fortune into the greatest Calamity that ever any
Creature underwent; and begged, by all that was moving, to be delivered out of
the Dungeon I was in. The Voice replied, I was safe, for my Box was fastened to
their Ship; and the Carpenter should immediately come, and saw an Hole in the
Cover, large enough to pull me out. I answered, that was needless, and would
take up too much Time; for there was no more to be done, but let one of the Crew
put his Finger into the Ring, and take the Box out of the Sea into the Ship, and
so into the Captain's Cabbin. Some of them upon hearing me talk so wildly,
thought I was mad; others laughed; for indeed it never came into my Head, that I
was now got among People of my own Stature and Strength. The Carpenter came, and
in a few Minutes sawed a Passage about four Foot square; then let down a small
Ladder, upon which I mounted, and from thence was taken into the Ship in a very
weak Condition.
    The Sailors were all in Amazement, and asked me a thousand Questions, which
I had no Inclination to answer. I was equally confounded at the Sight of so many
Pigmies; for such I took them to be, after having so long accustomed mine Eyes
to the monstrous Objects I had left. But the Captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an
honest worthy Shropshire Man, observing I was ready to faint, took me into his
Cabbin, gave me a Cordial to comfort me, and made me turn in upon his own Bed;
advising me to take a little Rest, of which I had great need. Before I went to
sleep I gave him to understand, that I had some valuable Furniture in my Box too
good to be lost; a fine Hammock, an handsome Field-Bed, two Chairs, a Table and
a Cabinet: That my Closet was hung on all Sides, or rather quilted with Silk and
Cotton: That if he would let one of the Crew bring my Closet into his Cabbin, I
would open it before him, and show him my Goods. The Captain hearing me utter
these Absurdities, concluded I was raving: However, (I suppose to pacify me) he
promised to give Order as I desired; and going upon Deck, sent some of his Men
down into my Closet, from whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up all my
Goods, and stripped off the Quilting; but the Chairs, Cabinet and Bed-sted being
screwed to the Floor, were much damaged by the Ignorance of the Seamen, who tore
them up by Force. Then they knocked off some of the Boards for the Use of the
Ship; and when they had got all they had a Mind for, let the Hulk drop into the
Sea, which by Reason of many Breaches made in the Bottom and Sides, sunk to
rights. And indeed I was glad not to have been a Spectator of the Havock they
made; because I am confident it would have sensibly touched me, by bringing
former Passages into my Mind, which I had rather forget.
    I slept some Hours, but perpetually disturbed with Dreams of the Place I had
left, and the Dangers I had escaped. However, upon waking I found my self much
recovered. It was now about eight a Clock at Night, and the Captain ordered
Supper immediately, thinking I had already fasted too long. He entertained me
with great Kindness, observing me not to look wildly, or talk inconsistently;
and when we were left alone, desired I would give him a Relation of my Travels,
and by what Accident I came to be set adrift in that monstrous wooden Chest. He
said, that about twelve a Clock at Noon, as he was looking through his Glass, he
spied it at a Distance, and thought it was a Sail, which he had a Mind to make;
being not much out of his Course, in hopes of buying some Biscuit, his own
beginning to fall short. That, upon coming nearer, and finding his Error, he
sent out his Long-boat to discover what I was; that his Men came back in a
Fright, swearing they had seen a swimming House. That he laughed at their Folly,
and went himself in the Boat, ordering his Men to take a strong Cable along with
them. That the Weather being calm, he rowed round me several times, observed my
Windows, and the Wire Lattices that defended them. That he discovered two
Staples upon one Side, which was all of Boards, without any Passage for Light.
He then commanded his Men to row up to that Side; and fastning a Cable to one of
the Staples, ordered his Men to tow my Chest (as he called it) towards the Ship.
When it was there, he gave Directions to fasten another Cable to the Ring fixed
in the Cover, and to raise up my Chest with Pullies, which all the Sailors were
not able to do above two or three Foot. He said, they saw my Stick and
Handkerchief thrust out of the Hole, and concluded, that some unhappy Man must
be shut up in the Cavity. I asked whether he or the Crew had seen any prodigious
Birds in the Air about the Time he first discovered me: To which he answered,
that discoursing this Matter with the Sailors while I was asleep, one of them
said he had observed three Eagles flying towards the North; but remarked nothing
of their being larger than the usual Size; which I suppose must be imputed to
the great Height they were at: And he could not guess the Reason of my Question.
I then asked the Captain how far he reckoned we might be from Land; he said, by
the best Computation he could make, we were at least an hundred Leagues. I
assured him, that he must be mistaken by almost half; for I had not left the
Country from whence I came, above two Hours before I dropped into the Sea.
Whereupon he began again to think that my Brain was disturbed, of which he gave
me a Hint, and advised me to go to Bed in a Cabin he had provided. I assured him
I was well refreshed with his good Entertainment and Company, and as much in my
Senses as ever I was in my Life. He then grew serious, and desired to ask me
freely whether I were not troubled in Mind by the Consciousness of some enormous
Crime, for which I was punished at the Command of some Prince, by exposing me in
that Chest; as great Criminals in other Countries have been forced to Sea in a
leaky Vessel without Provisions: For, although he should be sorry to have taken
so ill a Man into his Ship, yet he would engage his Word to set me safe on Shore
in the first Port where we arrived. He added, that his Suspicions were much
increased by some very absurd Speeches I had delivered at first to the Sailors,
and afterwards to himself, in relation to my Closet or Chest, as well as by my
odd Looks and Behaviour while I was at Supper.
    I begged his Patience to hear me tell my Story; which I faithfully did from
the last Time I left England, to the Moment he first discovered me. And, as
Truth always forceth its Way into rational Minds; so, this honest worthy
Gentleman, who had some Tincture of Learning, and very good Sense, was
immediately convinced of my Candor and Veracity. But, further to confirm all I
had said, I entreated him to give Order that my Cabinet should be brought, of
which I kept the Key in my Pocket, (for he had already informed me how the
Seamen disposed of my Closet) I opened it in his Presence, and showed him the
small Collection of Rarities I made in the Country from whence I had been so
strangely delivered. There was the Comb I had contrived out of the Stumps of the
King's Beard; and another of the same Materials, but fixed into a paring of her
Majesty's Thumbnail, which served for the Back. There was a Collection of
Needles and Pins from a Foot to half a Yard long. Four Wasp-Stings, like Joyners
Tacks: Some Combings of the Queen's Hair: A Gold Ring which one Day she made me
a Present of in a most obliging Manner, taking it from her little Finger, and
throwing it over my Head like a Collar. I desired the Captain would please to
accept this Ring in Return of his Civilities; which he absolutely refused. I
showed him a Corn that I had cut off with my own Hand from a Maid of Honour's
Toe; it was about the Bigness of a Kentish Pippin, and grown so hard, that when
I returned to England, I got it hollowed into a Cup and set in Silver. Lastly, I
desired him to see the Breeches I had then on, which were made of a Mouse's
Skin.
    I could force nothing on him but a Footman's Tooth, which I observed him to
examine with great Curiosity, and found he had a Fancy for it. He received it
with abundance of Thanks, more than such a Trifle could deserve. It was drawn by
an unskillful Surgeon in a Mistake from one of Glumdalclitch's Men, who was
afflicted with the Tooth-ach; but it was as sound as any in his Head. I got it
cleaned, and put it into my Cabinet. It was about a Foot long, and four Inches
in Diameter.
    The Captain was very well satisfied with this plain Relation I had given
him; and said, he hoped when we returned to England, I would oblige the World by
putting it in Paper, and making it public. My Answer was, that I thought we
were already overstocked with Books of Travels: That nothing could now pass
which was not extraordinary; wherein I doubted, some Authors less consulted
Truth than their own Vanity or Interest, or the Diversion of ignorant Readers.
That my Story could contain little besides common Events, without those
ornamental Descriptions of strange Plants, Trees, Birds, and other Animals; or
the barbarous Customs and Idolatry of savage People, with which most Writers
abound. However, I thanked him for his good Opinion, and promised to take the
Matter into my Thoughts.
    He said, he wondered at one Thing very much; which was, to hear me speak so
loud; asking me whether the King or Queen of that Country were thick of Hearing.
I told him it was what I had been used to for above two Years past; and that I
admired as much at the Voices of him and his Men, who seemed to me only to
whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. But, when I spoke in that
Country, it was like a Man talking in the Street to another looking out from the
Top of a Steeple, unless when I was placed on a Table, or held in any Person's
Hand. I told him, I had likewise observed another Thing; that when I first got
into the Ship, and the Sailors stood all about me, I thought they were the most
little contemptible Creatures I had ever beheld. For, indeed, while I was in
that Prince's Country, I could never endure to look in a Glass after mine Eyes
had been accustomed to such prodigious Objects; because the Comparison gave me
so despicable a Conceit of my self. The Captain said, that while we were at
Supper, he observed me to look at every thing with a Sort of Wonder; and that I
often seemed hardly able to contain my Laughter; which he knew not well how to
take, but imputed it to some Disorder in my Brain. I answered, it was very true;
and I wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his Dishes of the Size of a
Silver Three-pence, a Leg of Pork hardly a Mouthful, a Cup not so big as a
Nutshell: And so I went on, describing the rest of his Houshold-stuff and
Provisions after the same Manner. For although the Queen had ordered a little
Equipage of all Things necessary for me while I was in her Service; yet my Ideas
were wholly taken up with what I saw on every Side of me; and I winked at my own
Littleness, as People do at their own Faults. The Captain understood my Raillery
very well, and merrily replied with the old English Proverb, that he doubted,
mine Eyes were bigger than my Belly; for he did not observe my Stomach so good,
although I had fasted all Day: And continuing in his Mirth, protested he would
have gladly given an Hundred Pounds to have seen my Closet in the Eagle's Bill,
and afterwards in its Fall from so great an Height into the Sea; which would
certainly have been a most astonishing Object, worthy to have the Description of
it transmitted to future Ages: And the Comparison of Phaeton was so obvious,
that he could not forbear applying it, although I did not much admire the
Conceit.
    The Captain having been at Tonquin, was in his Return to England driven
North Eastward to the Latitude of 44 Degrees, and of Longitude 143. But meeting
a Trade Wind two Days after I came on board him, we sailed Southward a long
Time, and coasting New-Holland, kept our Course West-south-west, and then
South-south-west till we doubled the Cape of Good-hope. Our Voyage was very
prosperous, but I shall not trouble the Reader with a Journal of it. The Captain
called in at one or two Ports, and sent in his Long-boat for Provisions and
fresh Water; but I never went out of the Ship till we came into the Downs, which
was on the 3d Day of June 1706, about nine Months after my Escape. I offered to
leave my Goods in Security for Payment of my Freight; but the Captain protested
he would not receive one Farthing. We took kind Leave of each other; and I made
him promise he would come to see me at my House in Redriff. I hired a Horse and
Guide for five Shillings, which I borrowed of the Captain.
    As I was on the Road; observing the Littleness of the Houses, the Trees, the
Cattle and the People, I began to think my self in Lilliput. I was afraid of
trampling on every Traveller I met; and often called aloud to have them stand
out of the Way; so that I had like to have gotten one or two broken Heads for my
Impertinence.
    When I came to my own House, for which I was forced to enquire, one of the
Servants opening the Door, I bent down to go in (like a Goose under a Gate) for
fear of striking my Head. My Wife ran out to embrace me, but I stooped lower
than her Knees, thinking she could otherwise never be able to reach my Mouth. My
Daughter kneeled to ask my Blessing, but I could not see her till she arose;
having been so long used to stand with my Head and Eyes erect to above Sixty
Foot; and then I went to take her up with one Hand, by the Waist. I looked down
upon the Servants, and one or two Friends who were in the House, as if they had
been Pigmies, and I a Giant. I told my wife, she had been too thrifty; for I
found she had starved herself and her Daughter to nothing. In short, I behaved
my self so unaccountably, that they were all of the Captain's Opinion when he
first saw me; and concluded I had lost my Wits. This I mention as an Instance of
the great Power of Habit and Prejudice.
    In a little Time I and my Family and Friends came to a right Understanding:
But my Wife protested I should never go to Sea any more; although my evil
Destiny so ordered, that she had not Power to hinder me; as the Reader may know
hereafter. In the mean Time, I here conclude the second Part of my unfortunate
Voyages.
 
                          The End of the Second Part.
 

                                   Part III.

                                        

       A Voyage to Laputa, Balnibarbi, Luggnagg, Glubbdubdrib, and Japan.

                                    Chap. I.

The Author sets out on his Third Voyage. Is taken by Pyrates. The Malice of a
Dutchman. His Arrival at an Island. He is received into Laputa.
 
I had not been at home above ten Days, when Captain William Robinson, a Cornish
Man, Commander of the Hopewell, a stout Ship of three Hundred Tuns, came to my
House. I had formerly been Surgeon of another Ship where he was Master, and a
fourth Part Owner, in a Voyage to the Levant. He had always treated me more like
a Brother than an inferior Officer; and hearing of my Arrival made me a Visit,
as I apprehended only out of Friendship, for nothing passed more than what is
usual after long Absence. But repeating his Visits often, expressing his Joy to
find me in good Health, asking whether I were now settled for Life, adding that
he intended a Voyage to the East-Indies, in two Months, at last he plainly
invited me, although with some Apologies, to be Surgeon of the Ship. That I
should have another Surgeon under me, besides our two Mates; that my Sallary
should be double to the usual Pay; and that having experienced my Knowledge in
Sea-Affairs to be at least equal to his, he would enter into any Engagement to
follow my Advice, as much as if I had Share in the Command.
    He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so honest a Man,
that I could not reject his Proposal; the Thirst I had of seeing the World,
notwithstanding my past Misfortunes, continuing as violent as ever. The only
Difficulty that remained, was to persuade my Wife, whose Consent however I at
last obtained, by the Prospect of Advantage she proposed to her Children.
    We set out the 5th Day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St. George, the
11th of April 1707. We stayed there three Weeks to refresh our Crew, many of
whom were sick. From thence we went to Tonquin, where the Captain resolved to
continue some time; because many of the Goods he intended to buy were not ready,
nor could he expect to be dispatched in several Months. Therefore in hopes to
defray some of the Charges he must be at, he bought a Sloop, loaded it with
several Sorts of Goods, wherewith the Tonquinese usually trade to the
neighbouring Islands; and putting Fourteen Men on Board, whereof three were of
the Country, he appointed me Master of the Sloop, and gave me Power to traffick,
while he transacted his Affairs at Tonquin.
    We had not sailed above three Days, when a great Storm arising, we were
driven five Days to the North-North-East, and then to the East; after which we
had fair Weather, but still with a pretty strong Gale from the West. Upon the
tenth Day we were chased by two Pyrates, who soon overtook us; for my Sloop was
so deep loaden, that she sailed very slow; neither were we in a Condition to
defend our selves.
    We were boarded about the same Time by both the Pyrates, who entered
furiously at the Head of their Men; but finding us all prostrate upon our Faces,
(for so I gave Order,) they pinioned us with strong Ropes, and setting a Guard
upon us, went to search the Sloop.
    I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some Authority,
although he were not Commander of either Ship. He knew us by our Countenances to
be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in his own Language, swore we should be tyed
Back to Back, and thrown into the Sea. I spoke Dutch tolerably well; I told him
who we were, and begged him in Consideration of our being Christians and
Protestants, of neighbouring Countries, in strict Alliance, that he would move
the Captains to take some Pity on us. This inflamed his Rage; he repeated his
Threatnings, and turning to his Companions, spoke with great Vehemence, in the
Japanese Language, as I suppose; often using the Word Christianos.
    The largest of the two Pyrate Ships was commanded by a Japanese Captain, who
spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came up to me, and after several
Questions, which I answered in great Humility, he said we should not die. I made
the Captain a very low Bow, and then turning to the Dutchman, said, I was sorry
to find more Mercy in a Heathen, than in a Brother Christian. But I had soon
Reason to repent those foolish Words; for that malicious Reprobate, having often
endeavoured in vain to persuade both the Captains that I might be thrown into
the Sea, (which they would not yield to after the Promise made me, that I should
not die) however prevailed so far as to have a Punishment inflicted on me, worse
in all human Appearance than Death it self. My Men were sent by an equal
Division into both the Pyrate-Ships, and my Sloop new manned. As to my self, it
was determined that I should be set a-drift, in a small Canoe, with Paddles and
a Sail, and four Days Provisions; which last the Japanese Captain was so kind to
double out of his own Stores, and would permit no Man to search me. I got down
into the Canoe, while the Dutchman standing upon the Deck, loaded me with all
the Curses and injurious Terms his Language could afford.
    About an Hour before we saw the Pyrates, I had taken an Observation, and
found we were in the Latitude of 46 N. and of Longitude 183. When I was at some
Distance from the Pyrates, I discovered by my Pocket-Glass several Islands to
the South-East. I set up my Sail, the Wind being fair, with a Design to reach
the nearest of those Islands, which I made a Shift to do in about three Hours.
It was all rocky; however I got many Birds Eggs; and striking Fire, I kindled
some Heath and dry Sea Weed, by which I roasted my Eggs. I eat no other Supper,
being resolved to spare my Provisions as much as I could. I passed the Night
under the Shelter of a Rock, strowing some Heath under me, and slept pretty
well.
    The next Day I sailed to another Island, and thence to a third and fourth,
sometimes using my Sail, and sometimes my Paddles. But not to trouble the Reader
with a particular Account of my Distresses; let it suffice, that on the 5th Day,
I arrived at the last Island in my Sight, which lay South-South-East to the
former.
    This Island was at a greater Distance than I expected, and I did not reach
it in less than five Hours. I encompassed it almost round before I could find a
convenient Place to land in, which was a small Creek, about three Times the
Wideness of my Canoe. I found the Island to be all rocky, only a little
intermingled with Tufts of Grass, and sweet smelling Herbs. I took out my small
Provisions, and after having refreshed myself, I secured the Remainder in a
Cave, whereof there were great Numbers. I gathered Plenty of Eggs upon the
Rocks, and got a Quantity of dry Seaweed, and parched Grass, which I designed to
kindle the next Day, and roast my Eggs as well as I could. (For I had about me
my Flint, Steel, Match, and Burning-glass.) I lay all Night in the Cave where I
had lodged my Provisions. My Bed was the same dry Grass and Sea-weed which I
intended for Fewel. I slept very little; for the Disquiets of my Mind prevailed
over my Wearyness, and kept me awake. I considered how impossible it was to
preserve my Life, in so desolate a Place; and how miserable my End must be. Yet
I found my self so listless and despondent, that I had not the Heart to rise;
and before I could get Spirits enough to creep out of my Cave, the Day was far
advanced. I walked a while among the Rocks, the Sky was perfectly clear, and the
Sun so hot, that I was forced to turn my Face from it: When all on a Sudden it
became obscured, as I thought, in a Manner very different from what happens by
the Interposition of a Cloud. I turned back, and perceived a vast Opake Body
between me and the Sun, moving forwards towards the Island: It seemed to be
about two Miles high, and hid the Sun six or seven Minutes, but I did not
observe the Air to be much colder, or the Sky more darkned, than if I had stood
under the Shade of a Mountain. As it approached nearer over the Place where I
was, it appeared to be a firm Substance, the Bottom flat, smooth, and shining
very bright from the Reflexion of the Sea below. I stood upon a Height about two
Hundred Yards from the Shoar, and saw this vast Body descending almost to a
Parallel with me, at less than an English Mile Distance. I took out my
Pocket-Perspective, and could plainly discover Numbers of People moving up and
down the Sides of it, which appeared to be sloping, but what those People were
doing, I was not able to distinguish.
    The natural Love of Life gave me some inward Motions of Joy; and I was ready
to entertain a Hope, that this Adventure might some Way or other help to deliver
me from the desolate Place and Condition I was in. But, at the same Time, the
Reader can hardly conceive my Astonishment, to behold an Island in the Air,
inhabited by Men, who were able (as it should seem) to raise, or sink, or put it
into a progressive Motion, as they pleased. But not being, at that Time, in a
Disposition to philosophise upon this Phænomenon, I rather chose to observe what
Course the Island would take; because it seemed for a while to stand still. Yet
soon after it advanced nearer; and I could see the Sides of it, encompassed with
several Gradations of Galleries and Stairs, at certain Intervals, to descend
from one to the other. In the lowest Gallery, I beheld some People fishing with
long Angling Rods, and others looking on. I waved my Cap, (for my Hat was long
since worn out,) and my Handkerchief towards the Island; and upon its nearer
Approach, I called and shouted with the utmost Strength of my Voice; and then
looking circumspectly, I beheld a Crowd gathered to that Side which was most in
my View. I found by their pointing towards me and to each other, that they
plainly discovered me, although they made no Return to my Shouting: But I could
see four or five Men running in great Haste up the Stairs to the Top of the
Island, who then disappeared. I happened rightly to conjecture, that these were
sent for Orders to some Person in Authority upon this Occasion.
    The Number of People increased; and in less than Half an Hour, the Island
was moved and raised in such a Manner, that the lowest Gallery appeared in a
Parallel of less than an Hundred Yards Distance from the Height where I stood. I
then put my self into the most supplicating Postures, and spoke in the humblest
Accent, but received no Answer. Those who stood nearest over-against me, seemed
to be Persons of Distinction, as I supposed by their Habit. They conferred
earnestly with each other, looking often upon me. At length one of them called
out in a clear, polite, smooth Dialect, not unlike in Sound to the Italian; and
therefore I returned an Answer in that Language, hoping at least that the
Cadence might be more agreeable to his Ears. Although neither of us understood
the other, yet my Meaning was easily known, for the People saw the Distress I
was in.
    They made Signs for me to come down from the Rock, and go towards the Shoar,
which I accordingly did; and the flying Island being raised to a convenient
Height, the Verge directly over me, a Chain was let down from the lowest
Gallery, with a Seat fastened to the Bottom, to which I fixed my self, and was
drawn up by Pullies.
 

                                   Chap. II.

The Humours and Dispositions of the Laputians described. An Account of their
Learning. Of the King and his Court. The Author's Reception there. The
Inhabitants subject to Fears and Disquietudes. An Account of the Women.
 
At my alighting I was surrounded by a Crowd of People, but those who stood
nearest seemed to be of better Quality. They beheld me with all the Marks and
Circumstances of Wonder; neither indeed was I much in their Debt; having never
till then seen a Race of Mortals so singular in their Shapes, Habits, and
Countenances. Their Heads were all reclined either to the Right, or the Left;
one of their Eyes turned inward, and the other directly up to the Zenith. Their
outward Garments were adorned with the Figures of Suns, Moons, and Stars,
interwoven with those of Fiddles, Flutes, Harps, Trumpets, Guittars,
Harpsicords, and many more Instruments of Musick, unknown to us in Europe. I
observed here and there many in the Habit of Servants, with a blown Bladder
fastened like a Flail to the End of a short Stick, which they carried in their
Hands. In each Bladder was a small Quantity of dried Pease, or little Pebbles,
(as I was afterwards informed.) With these Bladders they now and then flapped
the Mouths and Ears of those who stood near them, of which Practice I could not
then conceive the Meaning. It seems, the Minds of these People are so taken up
with intense Speculations, that they neither can speak, nor attend to the
Discourses of others, without being roused by some external Taction upon the
Organs of Speech and Hearing; for which Reason, those Persons who are able to
afford it, always keep a Flapper, (the Original is Climenole) in their Family,
as one of their Domesticks; nor ever walk abroad or make Visits without him. And
the Business of this Officer is, when two or more Persons are in Company, gently
to strike with his Bladder the Mouth of him who is to speak, and the Right Ear
of him or them to whom the Speaker addresseth himself. This Flapper is likewise
employed diligently to attend his Master in his Walks, and upon Occasion to give
him a soft Flap on his Eyes; because he is always so wrapped up in Cogitation,
that he is in manifest Danger of falling down every Precipice, and bouncing his
Head against every Post; and in the Streets, of jostling others, or being
jostled himself into the Kennel.
    It was necessary to give the Reader this Information, without which he would
be at the same Loss with me, to understand the Proceedings of these People, as
they conducted me up the Stairs, to the Top of the Island, and from thence to
the Royal Palace. While we were ascending, they forgot several Times what they
were about, and left me to my self, till their Memories were again roused by
their Flappers; for they appeared altogether unmoved by the Sight of my foreign
Habit and Countenance, and by the Shouts of the Vulgar, whose Thoughts and Minds
were more disengaged.
    At last we entered the Palace, and proceeded into the Chamber of Presence;
where I saw the King seated on his Throne, attended on each Side by Persons of
prime Quality. Before the Throne, was a large Table filled with Globes and
Spheres, and Mathematical Instruments of all Kinds. His Majesty took not the
least Notice of us, although our Entrance were not without sufficient Noise, by
the Concourse of all Persons belonging to the Court. But, he was then deep in a
Problem, and we attended at least an Hour, before he could solve it. There stood
by him on each Side, a young Page, with Flaps in their Hands; and when they saw
he was at Leisure, one of them gently struck his Mouth, and the other his Right
Ear; at which he started like one awake on the sudden, and looking towards me,
and the Company I was in, recollected the Occasion of our coming, whereof he had
been informed before. He spoke some Words; whereupon immediately a young Man
with a Flap came up to my Side, and flapt me gently on the Right Ear; but I made
Signs as well as I could, that I had no Occasion for such an Instrument; which
as I afterwards found, gave his Majesty and the whole Court a very mean Opinion
of my Understanding. The King, as far as I could conjecture, asked me several
Questions, and I addressed my self to him in all the Languages I had. When it
was found, that I could neither understand nor be understood, I was conducted by
his Order to an Apartment in his Palace, (this Prince being distinguished above
all his Predecessors for his Hospitality to Strangers,) where two Servants were
appointed to attend me. My Dinner was brought, and four Persons of Quality, whom
I remembered to have seen very near the King's Person, did me the Honour to dine
with me. We had two Courses, of three Dishes each. In the first Course, there
was a Shoulder of Mutton, cut into an Æquilateral Triangle; a Piece of Beef into
a Rhomboides; and a Pudding into a Cycloid. The second Course was two Ducks,
trussed up into the Form of Fiddles; Sausages and Puddings resembling Flutes and
Haut-boys, and a Breast of Veal in the Shape of a Harp. The Servants cut our
Bread into Cones, Cylinders, Parallelograms, and several other Mathematical
Figures.
    While we were at Dinner, I made bold to ask the Names of several Things in
their Language; and those noble Persons, by the Assistance of their Flappers,
delighted to give me Answers, hoping to raise my Admiration of their great
Abilities, if I could be brought to converse with them. I was soon able to call
for Bread, and Drink, or whatever else I wanted.
    After Dinner my Company withdrew, and a Person was sent to me by the King's
Order, attended by a Flapper. He brought with him Pen, Ink, and Paper, and three
or four Books; giving me to understand by Signs, that he was sent to teach me
the Language. We sat together four Hours, in which Time I wrote down a great
Number of Words in Columns, with the Translations over against them. I likewise
made a Shift to learn several short Sentences. For my Tutor would order one of
my Servants to fetch something, to turn about, to make a Bow, to sit, or stand,
or walk, and the like. Then I took down the Sentence in Writing. He showed me
also in one of his Books, the Figures of the Sun, Moon, and Stars, the Zodiack,
the Tropics, and Polar Circles, together with the Denominations of many Figures
of Planes and Solids. He gave me the Names and Descriptions of all the Musical
Instruments, and the general Terms of Art in playing on each of them. After he
had left me, I placed all my Words with their Interpretations in alphabetical
Order. And thus in a few Days, by the Help of a very faithful Memory, I got some
Insight into their Language.
    The Word, which I interpret the Flying or Floating Island, is in the
Original Laputa; whereof I could never learn the true Etymology. Lap in the old
obsolete Language signifieth High, and Untuh a Governor; from which they say by
Corruption was derived Laputa from Lapuntuh. But I do not approve of this
Derivation, which seems to be a little strained. I ventured to offer to the
Learned among them a Conjecture of my own, that Laputa was quasi Lap outed; Lap
signifying properly the dancing of the Sun Beams in the Sea; and outed a Wing,
which however I shall not obtrude, but submit to the judicious Reader.
    Those to whom the King had entrusted me, observing how ill I was clad,
ordered a Taylor to come next Morning, and take my Measure for a Suit of Cloths.
This Operator did his Office after a different Manner from those of his Trade in
Europe. He first took my Altitude by a Quadrant, and then with Rule and
Compasses, described the Dimensions and Out-Lines of my whole Body; all which he
entred upon Paper, and in six Days brought my Cloths very ill made, and quite
out of Shape, by happening to mistake a Figure in the Calculation. But my
Comfort was, that I observed such Accidents very frequent, and little regarded.
    During my Confinement for want of clothes, and by an Indisposition that held
me some Days longer, I much enlarged my Dictionary; and when I went next to
Court, was able to understand many Things the King spoke, and to return him some
Kind of Answers. His Majesty had given Orders, that the Island should move
North-East and by East, to the vertical Point over Lagado, the Metropolis of the
whole Kingdom, below upon the firm Earth. It was about Ninety Leagues distant,
and our Voyage lasted four Days and an Half. I was not in the least sensible of
the progressive Motion made in the Air by the Island. On the second Morning,
about Eleven o'Clock, the King himself in Person, attended by his Nobility,
Courtiers, and Officers, having prepared all their Musical Instruments, played
on them for three Hours without Intermission; so that I was quite stunned with
the Noise; neither could I possibly guess the Meaning, till my Tutor informed
me. He said, that the People of their Island had their Ears adapted to hear the
Musick of the Spheres, which always played at certain Periods; and the Court was
now prepared to bear their Part in whatever Instrument they most excelled.
    In our Journey towards Lagado the Capital City, his Majesty ordered that the
Island should stop over certain Towns and Villages, from whence he might receive
the Petitions of his Subjects. And to this Purpose, several Packthreads were let
down with small Weights at the Bottom. On these Packthreads the People strung
their Petitions, which mounted up directly like the Scraps of Paper fastened by
School-boys at the End of the String that holds their Kite. Sometimes we
received Wine and Victuals from below, which were drawn up by Pullies.
    The Knowledge I had in Mathematicks gave me great Assistance in acquiring
their Phraseology, which depended much upon that Science and Musick; and in the
latter I was not unskilled. Their Ideas are perpetually conversant in Lines and
Figures. If they would, for Example, praise the Beauty of a Woman, or any other
Animal, they describe it by Rhombs, Circles, Parallelograms, Ellipses, and other
Geometrical Terms; or else by Words of Art drawn from Musick, needless here to
repeat. I observed in the King's Kitchen all Sorts of Mathematical and Musical
Instruments, after the Figures of which they cut up the Joynts that were served
to his Majesty's Table.
    Their Houses are very ill built, the Walls bevil, without one right Angle in
any Apartment; and this Defect ariseth from the Contempt they bear for practical
Geometry; which they despise as vulgar and mechanick, those Instructions they
give being too refined for the Intellectuals of their Workmen; which occasions
perpetual Mistakes. And although they are dexterous enough upon a Piece of Paper
in the Management of the Rule, the Pencil, and the Divider, yet in the common
Actions and Behaviour of Life, I have not seen a more clumsy, awkward, and
unhandy People, nor so slow and perplexed in their Conceptions upon all other
Subjects, except those of Mathematicks and Musick. They are very bad Reasoners,
and vehemently given to Opposition, unless when they happen to be of the right
Opinion, which is seldom their Case. Imagination, Fancy, and Invention, they are
wholly Strangers to, nor have any Words in their Language by which those Ideas
can be expressed; the whole Compass of their Thoughts and Mind, being shut up
within the two forementioned Sciences.
    Most of them, and especially those who deal in the Astronomical Part, have
great Faith in judicial Astrology, although they are ashamed to own it
publicly. But, what I chiefly admired, and thought altogether unaccountable,
was the strong Disposition I observed in them towards News and Politicks;
perpetually enquiring into public Affairs, giving their Judgments in Matters of
State; and passionately disputing every Inch of a Party Opinion. I have indeed
observed the same Disposition among most of the Mathematicians I have known in
Europe; although I could never discover the least Analogy between the two
Sciences; unless those People suppose, that because the smallest Circle hath as
many Degrees as the largest, therefore the Regulation and Management of the
World require no more Abilities than the handling and turning of a Globe. But, I
rather take this Quality to spring from a very common Infirmity of human Nature,
inclining us to be more curious and conceited in Matters where we have least
Concern, and for which we are least adapted either by Study or Nature.
    These People are under continual Disquietudes, never enjoying a Minute's
Peace of Mind; and their Disturbances proceed from Causes which very little
affect the rest of Mortals. Their Apprehensions arise from several Changes they
dread in the Celestial Bodies. For Instance; that the Earth by the continual
Approaches of the Sun towards it, must in Course of Time be absorbed or
swallowed up. That the Face of the Sun will by Degrees be encrusted with its own
Effluvia, and give no more Light to the World. That, the Earth very narrowly
escaped a Brush from the Tail of the last Comet, which would have infallibly
reduced it to Ashes; and that the next, which they have calculated for One and
Thirty Years hence, will probably destroy us. For, if in its Perihelion it
should approach within a certain Degree of the Sun, (as by their Calculations
they have Reason to dread) it will conceive a Degree of Heat ten Thousand Times
more intense than that of red hot glowing Iron; and in its Absence from the Sun,
carry a blazing Tail Ten Hundred Thousand and Fourteen Miles long; through which
if the Earth should pass at the Distance of one Hundred Thousand Miles from the
Nucleus, or main Body of the Comet, it must in its Passage be set on Fire, and
reduced to Ashes. That the Sun daily spending its Rays without any Nutriment to
supply them, will at last be wholly consumed and annihilated; which must be
attended with the Destruction of this Earth, and of all the Planets that receive
their Light from it.
    They are so perpetually alarmed with the Apprehensions of these and the like
impending Dangers, that they can neither sleep quietly in their Beds, nor have
any Relish for the common Pleasures or Amusements of Life. When they meet an
Acquaintance in the Morning, the first Question is about the Sun's Health; how
he looked at his Setting and Rising, and what Hopes they have to avoid the
Stroak of the approaching Comet. This Conversation they are apt to run into with
the same Temper that Boys discover, in delighting to hear terrible Stories of
Sprites and Hobgoblins, which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to Bed
for fear.
    The Women of the Island have Abundance of Vivacity; they contemn their
Husbands, and are exceedingly fond of Strangers, whereof there is always a
considerable Number from the Continent below, attending at Court, either upon
Affairs of the several Towns and Corporations, or their own particular
Occasions; but are much despised, because they want the same Endowments. Among
these the Ladies choose their Gallants: But the Vexation is, that they act with
too much Ease and Security; for the Husband is always so rapt in Speculation,
that the Mistress and Lover may proceed to the greatest Familiarities before his
Face, if he be but provided with Paper and Implements, and without his Flapper
at his Side.
    The Wives and Daughters lament their Confinement to the Island, although I
think it the most delicious Spot of Ground in the World; and although they live
here in the greatest Plenty and Magnificence, and are allowed to do whatever
they please: They long to see the World, and take the Diversions of the
Metropolis, which they are not allowed to do without a particular Licence from
the King; and this is not easy to be obtained, because the People of Quality
have found by frequent Experience, how hard it is to persuade their Women to
return from below. I was told, that a great Court Lady, who had several
Children, is married to the prime Minister, the richest Subject in the Kingdom,
a very graceful Person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest Palace of
the Island; went down to Lagado, on the Pretence of Health, there hid her self
for several Months, till the King sent a Warrant to search for her; and she was
found in an obscure Eating-House all in Rags, having pawned her Cloths to
maintain an old deformed Footman, who beat her every Day, and in whose Company
she was taken much against her Will. And although her Husband received her with
all possible Kindness, and without the least Reproach; she soon after contrived
to steal down again with all her Jewels, to the same Gallant, and hath not been
heard of since.
    This may perhaps pass with the Reader rather for an European or English
Story, than for one of a Country so remote. But he may please to consider, that
the Caprices of Womankind are not limited by any Climate or Nation; and that
they are much more uniform than can be easily imagined.
    In about a Month's Time I had made a tolerable Proficiency in their
Language, and was able to answer most of the King's Questions, when I had the
Honour to attend him. His Majesty discovered not the least Curiosity to enquire
into the Laws, Government, History, Religion, or Manners of the Countries where
I had been; but confined his Questions to the State of Mathematicks, and
received the Account I gave him, with great Contempt and Indifference, though
often roused by his Flapper on each Side.
 

                                   Chap. III.

A Phænomenon solved by modern Philosophy and Astronomy. The Laputians great
Improvements in the latter. The King's Method of suppressing Insurrections.
 
I desired Leave of this Prince to see the Curiosities of the Island; which he
was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my Tutor to attend me. I chiefly
wanted to know to what Cause in Art or in Nature, it owed its several Motions;
whereof I will now give a philosophical Account to the Reader.
    The flying or floating Island is exactly circular; its Diameter 7837 Yards,
or about four Miles and an Half, and consequently contains ten Thousand Acres.
It is three Hundred Yards thick. The Bottom, or under Surface, which appears to
those who view it from below, is one even regular Plate of Adamant, shooting up
to the Height of about two Hundred Yards. Above it lye the several Minerals in
their usual Order; and over all is a Coat of rich Mould ten or twelve Foot deep.
The Declivity of the upper Surface, from the Circumference to the Center, is the
natural Cause why all the Dews and Rains which fall upon the Island, are
conveyed in small Rivulets towards the Middle, where they are emptyed into four
large Basons, each of about Halfa Mile in Circuit, and two Hundred Yards distant
from the Center. From these Basons the Water is continually exhaled by the Sun
in the Day-time, which effectually prevents their overflowing. Besides, as it is
in the Power of the Monarch to raise the Island above the Region of Clouds and
Vapours, he can prevent the falling of Dews and Rains whenever he pleases. For
the highest Clouds cannot rise above two Miles, as Naturalists agree, at least
they were never known to do so in that Country.
    At the Center of the Island there is a Chasm about fifty Yards in Diameter,
from whence the Astronomers descend into a large Dome, which is therefore called
Flandona Gagnole, or the Astronomers Cave; situated at the Depth of an Hundred
Yards beneath the upper Surface of the Adamant. In this Cave are Twenty Lamps
continually burning, which from the Reflection of the Adamant cast a strong
Light into every Part. The Place is stored with great Variety of Sextants,
Quadrants, Telescopes, Astrolabes, and other Astronomical Instruments. But the
greatest Curiosity, upon which the Fate of the Island depends, is a Loadstone of
a prodigious Size, in Shape resembling a Weaver's Shuttle. It is in Length six
Yards, and in the thickest Part at least three Yards over. This Magnet is
sustained by a very strong Axle of Adamant, passing through its Middle, upon
which it plays, and is poized so exactly that the weakest Hand can turn it. It
is hooped round with an hollow Cylinder of Adamant, four Foot deep, as many
thick, and twelve Yards in Diameter, placed horizontally, and supported by Eight
Adamantine Feet, each Six Yards high. In the Middle of the Concave Side there is
a Groove Twelve Inches deep, in which the Extremities of the Axle are lodged,
and turned round as there is Occasion.
    This Stone cannot be moved from its Place by any Force, because the Hoop and
its Feet are one continued Piece with that Body of Adamant which constitutes the
Bottom of the Island.
    By Means of this Load-stone, the Island is made to rise and fall, and move
from one Place to another. For, with respect to that Part of the Earth over
which the Monarch presides, the Stone is endued at one of its Sides with an
attractive Power, and at the other with a repulsive. Upon placing the Magnet
erect with its attracting End towards the Earth, the Island descends; but when
the repelling Extremity points downwards, the Island mounts directly upwards.
When the Position of the Stone is oblique, the Motion of the Island is so too.
For in this Magnet the Forces always act in Lines parallel to its Direction.
    By this oblique Motion the Island is conveyed to different Parts of the
Monarch's Dominions. To explain the Manner of its Progress, let A B represent a
Line drawn cross the Dominions of Balnibarbi; let the Line c d represent the
Load-stone, of which let d be the repelling End, and c the attracting End, the
Island being over C; let the Stone be placed in the Position c d with its
repelling End downwards; then the Island will be driven upwards obliquely
towards D. When it is arrived at D, let the Stone be turned upon its Axle till
its attracting End points towards E, and then the Island will be carried
obliquely towards E; where if the Stone be again turned upon its Axle till it
stands in the Position E F, with its repelling Point downwards, the Island will
rise obliquely towards F, where by directing the attracting End towards G, the
Island may be carried to G, and from G to H, by turning the Stone, so as to make
its repelling Extremity point directly downwards. And thus by changing the
Situation of the Stone as often as there is Occasion, the Island is made to rise
and fall by Turns in an oblique Direction; and by those alternate Risings and
Fallings (the Obliquity being not considerable) is conveyed from one Part of the
Dominions to the other.
    But it must be observed, that this Island cannot move beyond the Extent of
the Dominions below; nor can it rise above the Height of four Miles. For which
the Astronomers (who have written large Systems concerning the Stone) assign the
following Reason: That the Magnetick Virtue does not extend beyond the Distance
of four Miles, and that the Mineral which acts upon the Stone in the Bowels of
the Earth, and in the Sea about six Leagues distant from the Shoar, is not
diffused through the whole Globe, but terminated with the Limits of the King's
Dominions: And it was easy from the great Advantage of such a superior
Situation, for a Prince to bring under his Obedience whatever Country lay within
the Attraction of that Magnet.
    When the Stone is put parallel to the Plane of the Horizon, the Island
standeth still; for in that Case, the Extremities of it being at equal Distance
from the Earth, act with equal Force, the one in drawing downwards, the other in
pushing upwards; and consequently no Motion can ensue.
    This Load-stone is under the Care of certain Astronomers, who from Time to
Time give it such Positions as the Monarch directs. They spend the greatest Part
of their Lives in observing the celestial Bodies, which they do by the
Assistance of Glasses, far excelling ours in Goodness. For, although their
largest Telescopes do not exceed three Feet, they magnify much more than those
of a Hundred with us, and show the Stars with greater Clearness. This Advantage
hath enabled them to extend their Discoveries much farther than our Astronomers
in Europe. They have made a Catalogue of ten Thousand fixed Stars, whereas the
largest of ours do not contain above one third Part of that Number. They have
likewise discovered two lesser Stars, or Satellites, which revolve about Mars;
whereof the innermost is distant from the Center of the primary Planet exactly
three of his Diameters, and the outermost five; the former revolves in the Space
of ten Hours, and the latter in Twenty-one and an Half; so that the Squares of
their periodical Times, are very near in the same Proportion with the Cubes of
their Distance from the Center of Mars; which evidently shows them to be
governed by the same Law of Gravitation, that influences the other heavenly
Bodies.
    They have observed Ninety-three different Comets, and settled their Periods
with great Exactness. If this be true, (and they affirm it with great
Confidence) it is much to be wished that their Observations were made public;
whereby the Theory of Comets, which at present is very lame and defective, might
be brought to the same Perfection with other Parts of Astronomy.
    The King would be the most absolute Prince in the Universe, if he could but
prevail on a Ministry to join with him; but these having their Estates below on
the Continent, and considering that the Office of a Favourite hath a very
uncertain Tenure, would never consent to the enslaving their Country.
    If any Town should engage in Rebellion or Mutiny, fall into violent
Factions, or refuse to pay the usual Tribute; the King hath two Methods of
reducing them to Obedience. The first and the mildest Course is by keeping the
Island hovering over such a Town, and the Lands about it; whereby he can deprive
them of the Benefit of the Sun and the Rain, and consequently afflict the
Inhabitants with Dearth and Diseases. And if the Crime deserve it, they are at
the same time pelted from above with great Stones, against which they have no
Defence, but by creeping into Cellars or Caves, while the Roofs of their Houses
are beaten to Pieces. But if they still continue obstinate, or offer to raise
Insurrections; he proceeds to the last Remedy, by letting the Island drop
directly upon their Heads, which makes a universal Destruction both of Houses
and Men. However, this is an Extremity to which the Prince is seldom driven,
neither indeed is he willing to put it in Execution; nor dare his Ministers
advise him to an Action, which as it would render them odious to the People, so
it would be a great Damage to their own Estates that lie all below; for the
Island is the King's Demesn.
    But there is still indeed a more weighty Reason, why the Kings of this
Country have been always averse from executing so terrible an Action, unless
upon the utmost Necessity. For if the Town intended to be destroyed should have
in it any tall Rocks, as it generally falls out in the larger Cities; a
Situation probably chosen at first with a View to prevent such a Catastrophe: Or
if it abound in high Spires or Pillars of Stone, a sudden Fall might endanger
the Bottom or under Surface of the Island, which although it consist as I have
said, of one entire Adamant two hundred Yards thick, might happen to crack by
too great a Choque, or burst by approaching too near the Fires from the Houses
below; as the Backs both of Iron and Stone will often do in our Chimneys. Of all
this the People are well apprised, and understand how far to carry their
Obstinacy, where their Liberty or Property is concerned. And the King, when he
is highest provoked, and most determined to press a City to Rubbish, orders the
Island to descend with great Gentleness, out of a Pretence of Tenderness to his
People, but indeed for fear of breaking the Adamantine Bottom; in which Case it
is the Opinion of all their Philosophers, that the Load-stone could no longer
hold it up, and the whole Mass would fall to the Ground.
    By a fundamental Law of this Realm, neither the King nor either of his two
elder Sons, are permitted to leave the Island; nor the Queen till she is past
Child-
 

                                   Chap. IV.

The Author leaves Laputa, is conveyed to Balnibarbi, arrives at the Metropolis.
A Description of the Metropolis and the Country adjoining. The Author hospitably
received by a great Lord. His Conversation with that Lord.
 
Although I cannot say that I was ill treated in this Island, yet I must confess
I thought my self too much neglected, not without some Degree of Contempt. For
neither Prince nor People appeared to be curious in any Part of Knowledge,
except Mathematicks and Musick, wherein I was far their inferior, and upon that
Account very little regarded.
    On the other Side, after having seen all the Curiosities of the Island, I
was very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of those People. They were
indeed excellent in two Sciences for which I have great Esteem, and wherein I am
not unversed; but at the same time so abstracted and involved in Speculation,
that I never met with such disagreeable Companions. I conversed only with Women,
Tradesmen, Flappers, and Court-Pages, during two Months of my Abode there; by
which at last I rendered my self extremely contemptible; yet these were the only
People from whom I could ever receive a reasonable Answer.
    I had obtained by hard Study a good Degree of Knowledge in their Language: I
was weary of being confined to an Island where I received so little Countenance;
and resolved to leave it with the first Opportunity.
    There was a great Lord at Court, nearly related to the King, and for that
Reason alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned the most ignorant
and stupid Person among them. He had performed many eminent Services for the
Crown, had great natural and acquired Parts, adorned with Integrity and Honour;
but so ill an Ear for Musick, that his Detractors reported he had been often
known to beat Time in the wrong Place; neither could his Tutors without extreme
Difficulty teach him to demonstrate the most easy Proposition in the
Mathematicks. He was pleased to show me many Marks of Favour, often did me the
Honour of a Visit, desired to be informed in the Affairs of Europe, the Laws and
Customs, the Manners and Learning of the several Countries where I had
travelled. He listened to me with great Attention, and made very wise
Observations on all I spoke. He had two Flappers attending him for State, but
never made use of them except at Court, and in Visits of Ceremony; and would
always command them to withdraw when we were alone together.
    I entreated this illustrious Person to intercede in my Behalf with his
Majesty for Leave to depart; which he accordingly did, as he was pleased to tell
me, with Regret: For, indeed he had made me several Offers very advantageous,
which however I refused with Expressions of the highest Acknowledgment.
    On the 16th Day of February, I took Leave of his Majesty and the Court. The
King made me a Present to the Value of about two Hundred Pounds English; and my
Protector his Kinsman as much more, together with a Letter of Recommendation to
a Friend of his in Lagado, the Metropolis: The Island being then hovering over a
Mountain about two Miles from it, I was let down from the lowest Gallery, in the
same Manner as I had been taken up.
    The Continent, as far as it is subject to the Monarch of the Flying Island,
passeth under the general Name of Balnibarbi; and the Metropolis, as I said
before, is called Lagado. I felt some little Satisfaction in finding my self on
firm Ground. I walked to the City without any Concern, being clad like one of
the Natives, and sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I soon found out
the Person's House to whom I was recommended; presented my Letter from his
Friend the Grandee in the Island, and was received with much Kindness. This
great Lord, whose Name was Munodi, ordered me an Apartment in his own House,
where I continued during my Stay, and was entertained in a most hospitable
Manner.
    The next Morning after my Arrival he took me in his Chariot to see the Town,
which is about half the Bigness of London; but the Houses very strangely built,
and most of them out of Repair. The People in the Streets walked fast, looked
wild, their Eyes fixed, and were generally in Rags. We passed through one of the
Town Gates, and went about three Miles into the Country, where I saw many
Labourers working with several Sorts of Tools in the Ground, but was not able to
conjecture what they were about; neither did I observe any Expectation either of
Corn or Grass, although the Soil appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear
admiring at these odd Appearances both in Town and Country; and I made bold to
desire my Conductor, that he would be pleased to explain to me what could be
meant by so many busy Heads, Hands and Faces, both in the Streets and the
Fields, because I did not discover any good Effects they produced; but on the
contrary, I never knew a Soil so unhappily cultivated, Houses so ill contrived
and so ruinous, or a People whose Countenances and Habit expressed so much
Misery and Want.
    This Lord Munodi was a Person of the first Rank, and had been some Years
Governor of Lagado; but by a Cabal of Ministers was discharged for
Insufficiency. However the King treated him with Tenderness, as a well-meaning
Man, but of a low contemptible Understanding.
    When I gave that free Censure of the Country and its Inhabitants, he made no
further Answer than by telling me, that I had not been long enough among them to
form a judgement; and that the different Nations of the World had different
Customs; with other common Topicks to the same Purpose. But when we returned to
his Palace, he asked me how I liked the Building, what Absurdities I observed,
and what Quarrel I had with the Dress and Looks of his Domesticks. This he might
safely do; because every Thing about him was magnificent, regular and polite. I
answered, that his Excellency's Prudence, Quality, and Fortune, had exempted him
from those Defects which Folly and Beggary had produced in others. He said, if I
would go with him to his Country House about Twenty Miles distant, where his
Estate lay, there would be more Leisure for this Kind of Conversation. I told
his Excellency, that I was entirely at his Disposal; and accordingly we set out
next Morning.
    During our Journey, he made me observe the several Methods used by Farmers
in managing their Lands; which to me were wholly unaccountable: For except in
some very few Places, I could not discover one Ear of Corn, or Blade of Grass.
But, in three Hours travelling, the Scene was wholly altered; we came into a
most beautiful Country; Farmers Houses at small Distances, neatly built, the
Fields enclosed, containing Vineyards, Corngrounds and Meadows. Neither do I
remember to have seen a more delightful Prospect. His Excellency observed my
Countenance to clear up; he told me with a Sigh, that there his Estate began,
and would continue the same till we should come to his House. That his
Countrymen ridiculed and despised him for managing his Affairs no better, and
for setting so ill an Example to the Kingdom; which however was followed by very
few, such as were old and wilful, and weak like himself.
    We came at length to the House, which was indeed a noble Structure, built
according to the best Rules of ancient Architecture. The Fountains, Gardens,
Walks, Avenues, and Groves were all disposed with exact judgement and Taste. I
gave due Praises to every Thing I saw, whereof his Excellency took not the least
Notice till after Supper; when, there being no third Companion, he told me with
a very melancholy Air, that he doubted he must throw down his Houses in Town and
Country, to rebuild them after the present Mode; destroy all his Plantations,
and cast others into such a Form as modern Usage required; and give the same
Directions to all his Tenants, unless he would submit to incur the Censure of
Pride, Singularity, Affectation, Ignorance, Caprice; and perhaps increase his
Majesty's Displeasure.
    That the Admiration I appeared to be under, would cease or diminish when he
had informed me of some Particulars, which probably I never heard of at Court,
the People there being too much taken up in their own Speculations, to have
Regard to what passed here below.
    The Sum of his Discourse was to this Effect. That about Forty Years ago,
certain Persons went up to Laputa, either upon Business or Diversion; and after
five Months Continuance, came back with a very little Smattering in
Mathematicks, but full of Volatile Spirits acquired in that Airy Region. That
these Persons upon their Return, began to dislike the Management of every Thing
below; and fell into Schemes of putting all Arts, Sciences, Languages, and
Mechanicks upon a new Foot. To this End they procured a Royal Patent for
erecting an Academy of PROJECTORS in Lagado: And the Humour prevailed so
strongly among the People, that there is not a Town of any Consequence in the
Kingdom without such an Academy. In these Colleges, the Professors contrive new
Rules and Methods of Agriculture and Building, and new Instruments and Tools for
all Trades and Manufactures, whereby, as they undertake, one Man shall do the
Work of Ten; a Palace may be built in a Week, of Materials so durable as to last
for ever without repairing. All the Fruits of the Earth shall come to Maturity
at whatever Season we think fit to choose, and increase an Hundred Fold more than
they do at present; with innumerable other happy Proposals. The only
Inconvenience is, that none of these Projects are yet brought to Perfection; and
in the mean time, the whole Country lies miserably waste, the Houses in Ruins,
and the People without Food or clothes. By all which, instead of being
discouraged, they are Fifty Times more violently bent upon prosecuting their
Schemes, driven equally on by Hope and Despair: That, as for himself, being not
of an enterprizing Spirit, he was content to go on in the old Forms; to live in
the Houses his Ancestors had built, and act as they did in every Part of Life
without Innovation. That, some few other Persons of Quality and Gentry had done
the same; but were looked on with an Eye of Contempt and ill Will, as Enemies to
Art, ignorant, and ill Commonwealthsmen, preferring their own Ease and Sloth
before the general Improvement of their Country.
    His Lordship added, that he would not by any further Particulars prevent the
Pleasure I should certainly take in viewing the grand Academy, whither he was
resolved I should go. He only desired me to observe a ruined Building upon the
Side of a Mountain about three Miles distant, of which he gave me this Account.
That he had a very convenient Mill within Half a Mile of his House, turned by a
Current from a large River, and sufficient for his own Family as well as a great
Number of his Tenants. That, about seven Years ago, a Club of those Projectors
came to him with Proposals to destroy this Mill, and build another on the Side
of that Mountain, on the long Ridge whereof a long Canal must be cut for a
Repository of Water, to be conveyed up by Pipes and Engines to supply the Mill:
Because the Wind and Air upon a Height agitated the Water, and thereby made it
fitter for Motion: And because the Water descending down a Declivity would turn
the Mill with half the Current of a River whose Course is more upon a Level. He
said, that being then not very well with the Court, and pressed by many of his
Friends, he complyed with the Proposal; and after employing an Hundred Men for
two Years, the Work miscarryed, the Projectors went off, laying the Blame
entirely upon him; railing at him ever since, and putting others upon the same
Experiment, with equal Assurance of Success, as well as equal Disappointment.
    In a few Days we came back to Town; and his Excellency, considering the bad
Character he had in the Academy, would not go with me himself, but recommended
me to a Friend of his to bear me Company thither. My Lord was pleased to
represent me as a great Admirer of Projects, and a Person of much Curiosity and
easy Belief; which indeed was not without Truth; for I had my self been a Sort
of Projector in my younger Days.
 

                                    Chap. V.

The Author permitted to see the grand Academy of Lagado. The Academy largely
described. The Arts wherein the Professors employ themselves.
 
This Academy is not an entire single Building, but a Continuation of several
Houses on both Sides of a Street; which growing waste, was purchased and applyed
to that Use.
    I was received very kindly by the Warden, and went for many Days to the
Academy. Every Room hath in it one or more Projectors; and I believe I could not
be in fewer than five Hundred Rooms.
    The first Man I saw was of a meagre Aspect, with sooty Hands and Face, his
Hair and Beard long, ragged and singed in several Places. His Clothes, Shirt,
and Skin were all of the same Colour. He had been Eight Years upon a Project for
extracting Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers, which were to be put into Vials
hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the Air in raw inclement Summers. He
told me, he did not doubt in Eight Years more, that he should be able to supply
the Governors Gardens with Sun-shine at a reasonable Rate; but he complained
that his Stock was low, and entreated me to give him something as an
Encouragement to Ingenuity, especially since this had been a very dear Season
for Cucumbers. I made him a small Present, for my Lord had furnished me with
Money on purpose, because he knew their Practice of begging from all who go to
see them.
    I went into another Chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being almost
overcome with a horrible Stink. My Conductor pressed me forward, conjuring me in
a Whisper to give no Offence, which would be highly resented; and therefore I
durst not so much as stop my Nose. The Projector of this Cell was the most
ancient Student of the Academy. His Face and Beard were of a pale Yellow; his
Hands and Clothes dawbed over with Filth. When I was presented to him, he gave
me a very close Embrace, (a Compliment I could well have excused.) His
Employment from his first coming into the Academy, was an Operation to reduce
human Excrement to its original Food, by separating the several Parts, removing
the Tincture which it receives from the Gall, making the Odour exhale, and
scumming off the Saliva. He had a weekly Allowance from the Society, of a Vessel
filled with human Ordure, about the Bigness of a Bristol Barrel.
    I saw another at work to calcine Ice into Gunpowder; who likewise showed me
a Treatise he had written concerning the Malleability of Fire, which he intended
to publish.
    There was a most ingenious Architect who had contrived a new Method for
building Houses, by beginning at the Roof, and working downwards to the
Foundation; which he justified to me by the like Practice of those two prudent
Insects the Bee and the Spider.
    There was a Man born blind, who had several Apprentices in his own
Condition: Their Employment was to mix Colours for Painters, which their Master
taught them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. It was indeed my Misfortune
to find them at that Time not very perfect in their Lessons; and the Professor
himself happened to be generally mistaken: This Artist is much encouraged and
esteemed by the whole Fraternity.
    In another Apartment I was highly pleased with a Projector, who had found a
Device of plowing the Ground with Hogs, to save the Charges of Plows, Cattle,
and Labour. The Method is this: In an Acre of Ground you bury at six Inches
Distance, and eight deep, a Quantity of Acorns, Dates, Chesnuts, and other Maste
or Vegetables whereof these Animals are fondest; then you drive six Hundred or
more of them into the Field, where in a few Days they will root up the whole
Ground in search of their Food, and make it fit for sowing, at the same time
manuring it with their Dung. It is true, upon Experiment they found the Charge
and Trouble very great, and they had little or no Crop. However, it is not
doubted that this Invention may be capable of great Improvement.
    I went into another Room, where the Walls and Ceiling were all hung round
with Cobwebs, except a narrow Passage for the Artist to go in and out. At my
Entrance he called aloud to me not to disturb his Webs. He lamented the fatal
Mistake the World had been so long in of using Silk-Worms, while we had such
plenty of domestick Insects, who infinitely excelled the former, because they
understood how to weave as well as spin. And he proposed farther, that by
employing Spiders, the Charge of dying Silks would be wholly saved; whereof I
was fully convinced when he showed me a vast Number of Flies most beautifully
coloured, wherewith he fed his Spiders; assuring us, that the Webs would take a
Tincture from them; and as he had them of all Hues, he hoped to fit every Body's
Fancy, as soon as he could find proper Food for the Flies, of certain Gums,
Oyls, and other glutinous Matter, to give a Strength and Consistence to the
Threads.
    There was an Astronomer who had undertaken to place a Sun-Dial upon the
great Weather-Cock on the Town-House, by adjusting the annual and diurnal
Motions of the Earth and Sun, so as to answer and coincide with all accidental
Turnings of the Wind.
    I was complaining of a small Fit of the Cholick; upon which my Conductor led
me into a Room, where a great Physician resided, who was famous for curing that
Disease by contrary Operations from the same Instrument. He had a large Pair of
Bellows, with a long slender Muzzle of Ivory. This he conveyed eight Inches up
the Anus, and drawing in the Wind, he affirmed he could make the Guts as lank as
a dried Bladder. But when the Disease was more stubborn and violent, he let in
the Muzzle while the Bellows was full of Wind, which he discharged into the Body
of the Patient; then withdrew the Instrument to replenish it, clapping his Thumb
strongly against the Orifice of the Fundament; and this being repeated three or
four Times, the adventitious Wind would rush out, bringing the noxious along
with it (like Water put into a Pump) and the Patient recovers. I saw him try
both Experiments upon a Dog, but could not discern any Effect from the former.
After the latter, the Animal was ready to burst, and made so violent a
Discharge, as was very offensive to me and my Companions. The Dog died on the
Spot, and we left the Doctor endeavouring to recover him by the same Operation.
    I visited many other Apartments, but shall not trouble my Reader with all
the Curiosities I observed, being studious of Brevity.
    I had hitherto seen only one Side of the Academy, the other being
appropriated to the Advancers of speculative Learning; of whom I shall say
something when I have mentioned one illustrious Person more, who is called among
them the universal Artist. He told us, he had been Thirty Years employing his
Thoughts for the Improvement of human Life. He had two large Rooms full of
wonderful Curiosities, and Fifty Men at work. Some were condensing Air into a
dry tangible Substance, by extracting the Nitre, and letting the aqueous or
fluid Particles percolate: Others softening Marble for Pillows and Pin-cushions;
others petrifying the Hoofs of a living Horse to preserve them from foundring.
The Artist himself was at that Time busy upon two great Designs: The first, to
sow Land with Chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal Virtue to be
contained, as he demonstrated by several Experiments which I was not skilful
enough to comprehend. The other was, by a certain Composition of Gums, Minerals,
and Vegetables outwardly applied, to prevent the Growth of Wool upon two young
Lambs; and he hoped in a reasonable Time to propagate the Breed of naked Sheep
all over the Kingdom.
    We crossed a Walk to the other Part of the Academy, where, as I have already
said, the Projectors in speculative Learning resided.
    The first Professor I saw was in a very large Room, with Forty Pupils about
him. After Salutation, observing me to look earnestly upon a Frame, which took
up the greatest Part of both the Length and Breadth of the Room; he said,
perhaps I might wonder to see him employed in a Project for improving
speculative Knowledge by practical and mechanical Operations. But the World
would soon be sensible of its Usefulness; and he flattered himself, that a more
noble exalted Thought never sprang in any other Man's Head. Every one knew how
laborious the usual Method is of attaining to Arts and Sciences; whereas by his
Contrivance, the most ignorant Person at a reasonable Charge, and with a little
bodily Labour, may write Books in Philosophy, Poetry, Politicks, Law,
Mathematicks and Theology, without the least Assistance from Genius or Study. He
then led me to the Frame, about the Sides whereof all his Pupils stood in Ranks.
It was Twenty Foot square, placed in the Middle of the Room. The Superficies was
composed of several Bits of Wood, about the Bigness of a Dye, but some larger
than others. They were all linked together by slender Wires. These Bits of Wood
were covered on every Square with Paper pasted on them; and on these Papers were
written all the Words of their Language in their several Moods, Tenses, and
Declensions, but without any Order. The Professor then desired me to observe,
for he was going to set his Engine at work. The Pupils at his Command took each
of them hold of an Iron Handle, whereof there were Forty fixed round the Edges
of the Frame; and giving them a sudden Turn, the whole Disposition of the Words
was entirely changed. He then commanded Six and Thirty of the Lads to read the
several Lines softly as they appeared upon the Frame; and where they found three
or four Words together that might make Part of a Sentence, they dictated to the
four remaining Boys who were Scribes. This Work was repeated three or four
Times, and at every Turn the Engine was so contrived, that the Words shifted
into new Places, as the square Bits of Wood moved upside down.
    Six Hours a-Day the young Students were employed in this Labour; and the
Professor showed me several Volumes in large Folio already collected, of broken
Sentences, which he intended to piece together; and out of those rich Materials
to give the World a complete Body of all Arts and Sciences; which however might
be still improved, and much expedited, if the Publick would raise a Fund for
making and employing five Hundred such Frames in Lagado, and oblige the Managers
to contribute in common their several Collections.
    He assured me, that this Invention had employed all his Thoughts from his
Youth; that he had emptyed the whole Vocabulary into his Frame, and made the
strictest Computation of the general Proportion there is in Books between the
Numbers of Particles, Nouns, and Verbs, and other Parts of Speech.
    I made my humblest Acknowledgments to this illustrious Person for his great
Communicativeness; and promised if ever I had the good Fortune to return to my
native Country, that I would do him Justice, as the sole Inventor of this
wonderful Machine; the Form and Contrivance of which I desired Leave to
delineate upon Paper as in the Figure here annexed. I told him, although it were
the Custom of our Learned in Europe to steal Inventions from each other, who had
thereby at least this Advantage, that it became a Controversy which was the
right Owner; yet I would take such Caution, that he should have the Honour
entire without a Rival.
    We next went to the School of Languages, where three Professors sat in
Consultation upon improving that of their own Country.
    The first Project was to shorten Discourse by cutting Polysyllables into
one, and leaving out Verbs and Participles; because in Reality all things
imaginable are but Nouns.
    The other, was a Scheme for entirely abolishing all Words whatsoever: And
this was urged as a great Advantage in Point of Health as well as Brevity. For,
it is plain, that every Word we speak is in some Degree a Diminution of our
Lungs by Corrosion; and consequently contributes to the shortning of our Lives.
An Expedient was therefore offered, that since Words are only Names for Things,
it would be more convenient for all Men to carry about them, such Things as were
necessary to express the particular Business they are to discourse on. And this
Invention would certainly have taken Place, to the great Ease as well as Health
of the Subject, if the Women in Conjunction with the Vulgar and Illiterate had
not threatened to raise a Rebellion, unless they might be allowed the Liberty to
speak with their Tongues, after the Manner of their Forefathers: Such constant
irreconcilable Enemies to Science are the common People. However, many of the
most Learned and Wise adhere to the new Scheme of expressing themselves by
Things; which hath only this Inconvenience attending it; that if a Man's
Business be very great, and of various Kinds, he must be obliged in Proportion
to carry a greater Bundle of Things upon his Back, unless he can afford one or
two strong Servants to attend him. I have often beheld two of those Sages almost
sinking under the Weight of their Packs, like Pedlars among us; who when they
met in the Streets would lay down their Loads, open their Sacks, and hold
Conversation for an Hour together; then put up their Implements, help each other
to resume their Burthens, and take their Leave.
    But, for short Conversations a Man may carry Implements in his Pockets and
under his Arms, enough to supply him, and in his House he cannot be at a Loss;
therefore the Room where Company meet who practice this Art, is full of all
Things ready at Hand, requisite to furnish Matter for this Kind of artificial
Converse.
    Another great Advantage proposed by this Invention, was, that it would serve
as an universal Language to be understood in all civilized Nations, whose Goods
and Utensils are generally of the same Kind, or nearly resembling, so that their
Uses might easily be comprehended. And thus, Embassadors would be qualified to
treat with foreign Princes or Ministers of State, to whose Tongues they were
utter Strangers.
    I was at the Mathematical School, where the Master taught his Pupils after a
Method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The Proposition and Demonstration were
fairly written on a thin Wafer, with Ink composed of a Cephalick Tincture. This
the Student was to swallow upon a fasting Stomach, and for three Days following
eat nothing but Bread and Water. As the Wafer digested, the Tincture mounted to
his Brain, bearing the Proposition along with it. But the Success hath not
hitherto been answerable, partly by some Error in the Quantum or Composition,
and partly by the Perverseness of Lads; to whom this Bolus is so nauseous, that
they generally steal aside, and discharge it upwards before it can operate;
neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long an Abstinence as the
Prescription requires.
 

                                   Chap. VI.

A further Account of the Academy. The Author proposeth some Improvements, which
are honourably received.
 
In the School of political Projectors I was but ill entertained; the Professors
appearing in my judgement wholly out of their Senses; which is a Scene that never
fails to make me melancholy. These unhappy People were proposing Schemes for
persuading Monarchs to choose Favourites upon the Score of their Wisdom, Capacity
and Virtue; of teaching Ministers to consult the public Good; of rewarding
Merit, great Abilities, and eminent Services; of instructing Princes to know
their true Interest, by placing it on the same Foundation with that of their
People: Of choosing for Employments Persons qualified to exercise them; with many
other wild impossible Chimæras, that never entered before into the Heart of Man
to conceive; and confirmed in me the old Observation, that there is nothing so
extravagant and irrational which some Philosophers have not maintained for
Truth.
    But, however I shall so far do Justice to this Part of the Academy, as to
acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There was a most ingenious
Doctor who seemed to be perfectly versed in the whole Nature and System of
Government. This illustrious Person had very usefully employed his Studies in
finding out effectual Remedies for all Diseases and Corruptions, to which the
several Kinds of public Administration are subject by the Vices or Infirmities
of those who govern, as well as by the Licentiousness of those who are to obey.
For Instance: Whereas all Writers and Reasoners have agreed, that there is a
strict universal Resemblance between the natural and the political Body; can
there be any thing more evident, than that the Health of both must be preserved,
and the Diseases cured by the same Prescriptions? It is allowed, that Senates
and great Councils are often troubled with redundant, ebullient, and other
peccant Humours; with many Diseases of the Head, and more of the Heart; with
strong Convulsions, with grievous Contractions of the Nerves and Sinews in both
Hands, but especially the Right: With Spleen, Flatus, Vertigoes and Deliriums;
with scrophulous Tumours full of foetid purulent Matter; with sower frothy
Ructations; with Canine Appetites and Crudeness of Digestion; besides many
others needless to mention. This Doctor therefore proposed, that upon the
meeting of a Senate, certain Physicians should attend at the three first Days of
their sitting, and at the Close of each Day's Debate, feel the Pulses of every
Senator; after which having maturely considered, and consulted upon the Nature
of the several Maladies, and the Methods of Cure; they should on the fourth Day
return to the Senate-House, attended by their Apothecaries stored with proper
Medicines; and before the Members sat, administer to each of them Lenitives,
Aperitives, Abstersives, Corrosives, Restringents, Palliatives, Laxatives,
Cephalalgicks, Ictericks, Apophlegmaticks, Acousticks, as their several Cases
required; and according as these Medicines should operate, repeat, alter, or
omit them at the next Meeting.
    This Project could not be of any great Expense to the Publick; and might in
my poor Opinion, be of much Use for the Dispatch of Business in those Countries
where Senates have any Share in the legislative Power; beget Unanimity, shorten
Debates, open a few Mouths which are now closed, and close many more which are
now open; curb the Petulancy of the Young, and correct the Positiveness of the
Old; rouze the Stupid, and damp the Pert.
    Again; Because it is a general Complaint that the Favourites of Princes are
troubled with short and weak Memories; the same Doctor proposed, that whoever
attended a first Minister, after having told his Business with the utmost
Brevity, and in the plainest Words; should at his Departure give the said
Minister a Tweak by the Nose, or a Kick in the Belly, or tread on his Corns, or
lug him thrice by both Ears, or run a Pin into his Breech, or pinch his Arm
black and blue; to prevent Forgetfulness: And at every Levee Day repeat the same
Operation, till the Business were done or absolutely refused.
    He likewise directed, that every Senator in the great Council of a Nation,
after he had delivered his Opinion, and argued in the Defence of it, should be
obliged to give his Vote directly contrary; because if that were done, the
Result would infallibly terminate in the Good of the Publick.
    When Parties in a State are violent, he offered a wonderful Contrivance to
reconcile them. The Method is this. You take an Hundred Leaders of each Party;
you dispose them into Couples of such whose Heads are nearest of a Size; then
let two nice Operators saw off the Occiput of each Couple at the same Time, in
such a Manner that the Brain may be equally divided. Let the Occiputs thus cut
off be interchanged, applying each to the Head of his opposite Party-man. It
seems indeed to be a Work that requireth some Exactness; but the Professor
assured us, that if it were dextrously performed, the Cure would be infallible.
For he argued thus; that the two half Brains being left to debate the Matter
between themselves within the Space of one Scull, would soon come to a good
Understanding, and produce that Moderation as well as Regularity of Thinking, so
much to be wished for in the Heads of those, who imagine they came into the
World only to watch and govern its Motion: And as to the Difference of Brains in
Quantity or Quality, among those who are Directors in Faction; the Doctor
assured us from his own Knowledge, that it was a perfect Trifle.
    I heard a very warm Debate between two Professors, about the most commodious
and effectual Ways and Means of raising Money without grieving the Subject. The
first affirmed, the justest Method would be to lay a certain Tax upon Vices and
Folly; and the Sum fixed upon every Man, to be rated after the fairest Manner by
a Jury of his Neighbours. The second was of an Opinion directly contrary; to tax
those Qualities of Body and Mind for which Men chiefly value themselves; the
Rate to be more or less according to the Degrees of excelling; the Decision
whereof should be left entirely to their own Breast. The highest Tax was upon
Men, who are the greatest Favourites of the other Sex; and the Assessments
according to the Number and Natures of the Favours they have received; for which
they are allowed to be their own Vouchers. Wit, Valour, and Politeness were
likewise proposed to be largely taxed, and collected in the same Manner, by
every Person giving his own Word for the Quantum of what he possessed. But, as
to Honour, Justice, Wisdom and Learning, they should not be taxed at all;
because, they are Qualifications of so singular a Kind, that no Man will either
allow them in his Neighbour, or value them in himself.
    The Women were proposed to be taxed according to their Beauty and Skill in
Dressing; wherein they had the same Privilege with the Men, to be determined by
their own judgement. But Constancy, Chastity, good Sense, and good Nature were
not rated, because they would not bear the Charge of Collecting.
    To keep Senators in the Interest of the Crown, it was proposed that the
Members should raffle for Employments; every Man first taking an Oath, and
giving Security that he would vote for the Court, whether he won or no; after
which the Losers had in their Turn the Liberty of raffling upon the next
Vacancy. Thus, Hope and Expectation would be kept alive; none would complain of
broken Promises, but impute their Disappointments wholly to Fortune, whose
Shoulders are broader and stronger than those of a Ministry.
    Another Professor showed me a large Paper of Instructions for discovering
Plots and Conspiracies against the Government. He advised great Statesmen to
examine into the Dyet of all suspected Persons; their Times of eating; upon
which Side they lay in Bed; with which Hand they wiped their Posteriors; to take
a strict View of their Excrements, and from the Colour, the Odour, the Taste,
the Consistence, the Crudeness, or Maturity of Digestion, form a judgement of
their Thoughts and Designs: Because Men are never so serious, thoughtful, and
intent, as when they are at Stool; which he found by frequent Experiment: For in
such Conjunctures, when he used merely as a Trial to consider which was the best
Way of murdering the King, his Ordure would have a Tincture of Green; but quite
different when he thought only of raising an Insurrection, or burning the
Metropolis.
    The whole Discourse was written with great Acuteness, containing many
Observations both curious and useful for Politicians, but as I conceived not
altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the Author, and offered if he
pleased to supply him with some Additions. He received my Proposition with more
Compliance than is usual among Writers, especially those of the Projecting
Species; professing he would be glad to receive farther Information.
    I told him, that in the Kingdom of Tribnia, by the Natives called Langden,
where I had long sojourned, the Bulk of the People consisted wholly of
Discoverers, Witnesses, Informers, Accusers, Prosecutors, Evidences, Swearers;
together with their several subservient and subaltern Instruments; all under the
Colours, the Conduct, and pay of Ministers and their Deputies. The Plots in that
Kingdom are usually the Workmanship of those Persons who desire to raise their
own Characters of profound Politicians; to restore new Vigour to a crazy
Administration; to stifle or divert general Discontents; to fill their Coffers
with Forfeitures; and raise or sink the Opinion of public Credit, as either
shall best answer their private Advantage. It is first agreed and settled among
them, what suspected Persons shall be accused of a Plot: Then, effectual Care is
taken to secure all their Letters and other Papers, and put the Owners in
Chains. These Papers are delivered to a Set of Artists very dexterous in finding
out the mysterious Meanings of Words, Syllables and Letters. For Instance, they
can decypher a Close-stool to signify a Privy-Council; a Flock of Geese, a
Senate; a lame Dog, an Invader; the Plague, a standing Army; a Buzard, a
Minister; the Gout, a High Priest; a Gibbet, a Secretary of State; a Chamber
pot, a Committee of Grandees; a Sieve a Court Lady; a Broom, a Revolution; a
Mouse-trap, an Employment; a bottomless Pit, the Treasury; a Sink, a C-t; a Cap
and Bells, a Favourite; a broken Reed, a Court of Justice; an empty Tun, a
General; a running Sore, the Administration.
    When this Method fails, they have two others more effectual; which the
Learned among them call Acrosticks, and Anagrams. First, they can decypher all
initial Letters into political Meanings: Thus, N, shall signify a Plot; B, a
Regiment of Horse; L, a Fleet at Sea. Or, secondly, by transposing the Letters
of the Alphabet, in any suspected Paper, they can lay open the deepest Designs
of a discontented Party. So for Example, if I should say in a Letter to a
Friend, Our Brother Tom has just got the Piles; a Man of Skill in this Art would
discover how the same Letters which compose that Sentence, may be analysed into
the following Words; Resist -- a Plot is brought home -- The Tour. And this is
the Anagrammatick Method.
    The Professor made me great Acknowledgments for communicating these
Observations, and promised to make honourable mention of me in his Treatise.
    I saw nothing in this Country that could invite me to a longer Continuance;
and began to think of returning home to England.
 

                                   Chap. VII.

The Author leaves Lagado, arrives at Maldonada. No Ship ready. He takes a short
Voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His Reception by the Governor.
 
The Continent of which this Kingdom is a part, extends itself, as I have Reason
to believe, Eastward to that unknown Tract of America, Westward of California,
and North to the Pacifick Ocean, which is not above an hundred and fifty Miles
from Lagado; where there is a good Port and much Commerce with the great Island
of Luggnagg, situated to the North-West about 29 Degrees North Latitude, and 140
Longitude. This Island of Luggnagg stands South Eastwards of Japan, about an
hundred Leagues distant. There is a strict Alliance between the Japanese Emperor
and the King of Luggnagg, which affords frequent Opportunities of sailing from
one Island to the other. I determined therefore to direct my Course this Way, in
order to my Return to Europe. I hired two Mules with a Guide to show me the Way,
and carry my small Baggage. I took leave of my noble Protector, who had shown me
so much Favour, and made me a generous Present at my Departure.
    My Journey was without any Accident or Adventure worth relating. When I
arrived at the Port of Maldonada, (for so it is called) there was no Ship in the
Harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor like to be in some Time. The Town is about as
large as Portsmouth. I soon fell into some Acquaintance, and was very hospitably
received. A Gentleman of Distinction said to me, that since the Ships bound for
Luggnagg could not be ready in less than a Month, it might be no disagreeable
Amusement for me to take a Trip to the little Island of Glubbdubdrib, about five
Leagues off to the South-West. He offered himself and a Friend to accompany me,
and that I should be provided with a small convenient Barque for the Voyage.
    Glubbdubdrib, as nearly as I can interpret the Word, signifies the Island of
Sorcerers or Magicians. It is about one third as large as the Isle of Wight, and
extremely fruitful: It is governed by the Head of a certain Tribe, who are all
Magicians. This Tribe marries only among each other; and the eldest in
Succession is Prince or Governor. He hath a noble Palace, and a Park of about
three thousand Acres, surrounded by a Wall of hewn Stone twenty Foot high. In
this Park are several small Inclosures for Cattle, Corn and Gardening.
    The Governor and his Family are served and attended by Domesticks of a Kind
somewhat unusual. By his Skill in Necromancy, he hath Power of calling whom he
pleaseth from the Dead, and commanding their Service for twenty four Hours, but
no longer; nor can he call the same Persons up again in less than three Months,
except upon very extraordinary Occasions.
    When we arrived at the Island, which was about Eleven in the Morning, one of
the Gentlemen who accompanied me, went to the Governor, and desired Admittance
for a Stranger, who came on purpose to have the Honour of attending on his
Highness. This was immediately granted, and we all three entered the Gate of the
Palace between two Rows of Guards, armed and dressed after a very antick Manner,
and something in their Countenances that made my Flesh creep with a Horror I
cannot express. We passed through several Apartments between Servants of the
same Sort, ranked on each Side as before, till we came to the Chamber of
Presence, where after three profound Obeysances, and a few general Questions, we
were permitted to sit on three Stools near the lowest Step of his Highness's
Throne. He understood the Language of Balnibarbi, although it were different
from that of his Island. He desired me to give him some Account of my Travels;
and to let me see that I should be treated without Ceremony, he dismissed all
his Attendants with a Turn of his Finger, at which to my great Astonishment they
vanished in an Instant, like Visions in a Dream, when we awake on a sudden. I
could not recover myself in some Time, till the Governor assured me that I
should receive no Hurt; and observing my two Companions to be under no Concern,
who had been often entertained in the same Manner, I began to take Courage; and
related to his Highness a short History of my several Adventures, yet not
without some Hesitation, and frequently looking behind me to the Place where I
had seen those domestick Spectres. I had the Honour to dine with the Governor,
where a new Set of Ghosts served up the Meat, and waited at Table. I now
observed myself to be less terrified than I had been in the Morning. I stayed
till Sun-set, but humbly desired his Highness to excuse me for not accepting his
Invitation of lodging in the Palace. My two Friends and I lay at a private House
in the Town adjoining, which is the Capital of this little Island; and the next
Morning we returned to pay our Duty to the Governor, as he was pleased to
command us.
    After this Manner we continued in the Island for ten Days, most Part of
every Day with the Governor, and at Night in our Lodging. I soon grew so
familiarized to the Sight of Spirits, that after the third or fourth Time they
gave me no Emotion at all; or if I had any Apprehensions left, my Curiosity
prevailed over them. For his Highness the Governor ordered me to call up
whatever Persons I would choose to name, and in whatever Numbers among all the
Dead from the Beginning of the World to the present Time, and command them to
answer any Questions I should think fit to ask; with this Condition, that my
Questions must be confined within the Compass of the Times they lived in. And
one Thing I might depend upon, that they would certainly tell me Truth; for
Lying was a Talent of no Use in the lower World.
    I made my humble Acknowledgments to his Highness for so great a Favour. We
were in a Chamber, from whence there was a fair Prospect into the Park. And
because my first Inclination was to be entertained with Scenes of Pomp and
Magnificence, I desired to see Alexander the Great, at the Head of his Army just
after the Battle of Arbela; which upon a Motion of the Governor's Finger
immediately appeared in a large Field under the Window, where we stood.
Alexander was called up into the Room: It was with great Difficulty that I
understood his Greek, and had but little of my own. He assured me upon his
Honour that he was not poisoned, but dyed of a Fever by excessive Drinking.
    Next I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me he had not a Drop of
Vinegar in his Camp.
    I saw Cæsar and Pompey at the Head of their Troops just ready to engage. I
saw the former in his last great Triumph. I desired that the Senate of Rome
might appear before me in one large Chamber, and a modern Representative, in
Counterview, in another. The first seemed to be an Assembly of Heroes and
Demy-Gods; the other a Knot of Pedlars, Pick-pockets, Highwaymen and Bullies.
    The Governor at my Request gave the Sign for Cæsar and Brutus to advance
towards us. I was struck with a profound Veneration at the Sight of Brutus; and
could easily discover the most consummate Virtue, the greatest Intrepidity, and
Firmness of Mind, the truest Love of his Country, and general Benevolence for
Mankind in every Lineament of his Countenance. I observed with much Pleasure,
that these two Persons were in good Intelligence with each other; and Cæsar
freely confessed to me, that the greatest Actions of his own Life were not equal
by many Degrees to the Glory of taking it away. I had the Honour to have much
Conversation with Brutus;, and was told that his Ancestor Junius, Socrates,
Epaminondas, Cato the Younger, Sir Thomas More and himself, were perpetually
together: A Sextumvirate to which all the Ages of the World cannot add a
Seventh.
    It would be tedious to trouble the Reader with relating what vast Numbers of
illustrious Persons were called up, to gratify that insatiable Desire I had to
see the World in every Period of Antiquity placed before me. I chiefly fed mine
Eyes with beholding the Destroyers of Tyrants and Usurpers, and the Restorers of
Liberty to oppressed and injured Nations. But it is impossible to express the
Satisfaction I received in my own Mind, after such a Manner as to make it a
suitable Entertainment to the Reader.
 

                                  Chap. VIII.

A further Account of Glubbdubdrib. Antient and Modern History corrected.
 
Having a Desire to see those Antients, who were most renowned for Wit and
Learning, I set apart one Day on purpose. I proposed that Homer and Aristotle
might appear at the Head of all their Commentators; but these were so numerous,
that some Hundreds were forced to attend in the Court and outward Rooms of the
Palace. I knew and could distinguish those two Heroes at first Sight, not only
from the crowd, but from each other. Homer was the taller and comelier Person of
the two, walked very erect for one of his Age, and his Eyes were the most quick
and piercing I ever beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a Staff. His
Visage was meagre, his Hair lank and thin, and his Voice hollow. I soon
discovered, that both of them were perfect Strangers to the rest of the Company,
and had never seen or heard of them before. And I had a Whisper from a Ghost,
who shall be nameless, that these Commentators always kept in the most distant
Quarters from their Principals in the lower World, through a Consciousness of
Shame and Guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the Meaning of
those Authors to Posterity. I introduced Didymus and Eustathius to Homer, and
prevailed on him to treat them better than perhaps they deserved; for he soon
found they wanted a Genius to enter into the Spirit of a Poet. But Aristotle was
out of all Patience with the Account I gave him of Scotus and Ramus, as I
presented them to him; and he asked them whether the rest of the Tribe were as
great Dunces as themselves.
    I then desired the Governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with whom I
prevailed to explain their Systems to Aristotle. This great Philosopher freely
acknowledged his own Mistakes in Natural Philosophy, because he proceeded in
many things upon Conjecture, as all Men must do; and he found, that Gassendi,
who had made the Doctrine of Epicurus as palatable as he could, and the Vortices
of Descartes, were equally exploded. He predicted the same Fate to Attraction,
whereof the present Learned are such zealous Asserters. He said, that new
Systems of Nature were but new Fashions, which would vary in every Age; and even
those who pretend to demonstrate them from Mathematical Principles, would
flourish but a short Period of Time, and be out of Vogue when that was
determined.
    I spent five Days in conversing with many others of the ancient Learned. I
saw most of the first Roman Emperors. I prevailed on the Governor to call up
Eliogabalus's Cooks to dress us a Dinner; but they could not show us much of
their Skill, for want of Materials. A Helot of Agesilaus made us a Dish of
Spartan Broth, but I was not able to get down a second Spoonful.
    The two Gentlemen who conducted me to the Island were pressed by their
private Affairs to return in three Days, which I employed in seeing some of the
modern Dead, who had made the greatest Figure for two or three Hundred Years
past in our own and other Countries of Europe; and having been always a great
Admirer of old illustrious Families, I desired the Governor would call up a
Dozen or two of Kings with their Ancestors in order, for eight or nine
Generations. But my Disappointment was grievous and unexpected. For, instead of
a long Train with Royal Diadems, I saw in one Family two Fidlers, three spruce
Courtiers, and an Italian Prelate. In another, a Barber, an Abbot, and two
Cardinals. I have too great a Veneration for crowned Heads to dwell any longer
on so nice a Subject: But as to Counts, Marquesses, Dukes, Earls, and the like,
I was not so scrupulous. And I confess it was not without some Pleasure that I
found my self able to trace the particular Features, by which certain Families
are distinguished up to their Originals. I could plainly discover from whence
one Family derives a long Chin; why a second hath abounded with Knaves for two
Generations, and Fools for two more; why a third happened to be crack-brained,
and a fourth to be Sharpers. Whence it came, what Polydore Virgil says of a
certain great House, Nec Vir fortis, nec Fæmina Casta. How Cruelty, falsehood,
and Cowardice grew to be Characteristicks by which certain Families are
distinguished as much as by their Coat of Arms. Who first brought the Pox into a
noble House, which hath lineally descended in scrophulous Tumours to their
Posterity. Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an Interruption
of Lineages by Pages, Lacqueys, Valets, Coachmen, Gamesters, Fidlers, Players,
Captains, and Pick-pockets.
    I was chiefly disgusted with modern History. For having strictly examined
all the Persons of greatest Name in the Courts of Princes for an Hundred Years
past, I found how the World had been misled by prostitute Writers, to ascribe
the greatest Exploits in War to Cowards, the wisest Counsel to Fools, Sincerity
to Flatterers, Roman Virtue to Betrayers of their Country, Piety to Atheists,
Chastity to Sodomites, Truth to Informers. How many innocent and excellent
Persons had been condemned to Death or Banishment, by the practising of great
Ministers upon the Corruption of Judges, and the Malice of Factions. How many
Villains had been exalted to the highest Places of Trust, Power, Dignity, and
Profit: How great a Share in the Motions and Events of Courts, Councils, and
Senates might be challenged by Bawds, Whores, Pimps, Parasites, and Buffoons:
How low an Opinion I had of human Wisdom and Integrity, when I was truly
informed of the Springs and Motives of great Enterprizes and Revolutions in the
World, and of the contemptible Accidents to which they owed their Success.
    Here I discovered the Roguery and Ignorance of those who pretend to write
Anecdotes, or secret History; who send so many Kings to their Graves with a Cup
of Poison; will repeat the Discourse between a Prince and chief Minister, where
no Witness was by; unlock the Thoughts and Cabinets of Embassadors and
Secretaries of State; and have the perpetual Misfortune to be mistaken. Here I
discovered the true Causes of many great Events that have surprised the World:
How a Whore can govern the Back-stairs, the Back-stairs a Council, and the
Council a Senate. A General confessed in my Presence, that he got a Victory
purely by the Force of Cowardice and ill Conduct: And an Admiral, that for want
of proper Intelligence, he beat the Enemy to whom he intended to betray the
Fleet. Three Kings protested to me, that in their whole Reigns they did never
once prefer any Person of Merit, unless by Mistake or Treachery of some Minister
in whom they confided: Neither would they do it if they were to live again; and
they showed with great Strength of Reason, that the Royal Throne could not be
supported without Corruption; because, that positive, confident, restive Temper,
which Virtue infused into Man, was a perpetual Clog to public Business.
    I had the Curiosity to enquire in a particular Manner, by what Method great
Numbers had procured to themselves high Titles of Honour, and prodigious
Estates; and I confined my Enquiry to a very modern Period: However, without
grating upon present Times, because I would be sure to give no Offence even to
Foreigners, (for I hope the Reader need not be told that I do not in the least
intend my own Country in what I say upon this Occasion) a great Number of
Persons concerned were called up, and upon a very slight Examination, discovered
such a Scene of Infamy, that I cannot reflect upon it without some Seriousness.
Perjury, Oppression, Subornation, Fraud, Pandarism, and the like Infirmities
were amongst the most excusable Arts they had to mention; and for these I gave,
as it was reasonable, due Allowance. But when some confessed, they owed their
Greatness and Wealth to Sodomy or Incest; others to the prostituting of their
own Wives and Daughters; others to the betraying their Country or their Prince;
some to poisoning, more to the perverting of Justice in order to destroy the
Innocent: I hope I may be pardoned if these Discoveries inclined me a little to
abate of that profound Veneration which I am naturally apt to pay to Persons of
high Rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost Respect due to their sublime
Dignity, by us their Inferiors.
    I had often read of some great Services done to Princes and States, and
desired to see the Persons by whom those Services were performed. Upon Enquiry I
was told, that their Names were to be found on no Record, except a few of them
whom History hath represented as the vilest Rogues and Traitors. As to the rest,
I had never once heard of them. They all appeared with dejected Looks, and in
the meanest Habit; most of them telling me they died in Poverty and Disgrace,
and the rest on a Scaffold or a Gibbet.
    Among others there was one Person whose Case appeared a little singular. He
had a Youth about Eighteen Years old standing by his Side. He told me, he had
for many Years been Commander of a Ship; and in the Sea Fight at Actium, had the
good Fortune to break through the Enemy's great Line of Battle, sink three of
their Capital Ships, and take a fourth, which was the sole Cause of Antony's
Flight, and of the Victory that ensued: That the Youth standing by him, his only
Son, was killed in the Action. He added, that upon the Confidence of some Merit,
the War being at an End, he went to Rome, and solicited at the Court of Augustus
to be preferred to a greater Ship, whose Commander had been killed; but without
any regard to his Pretensions, it was given to a Boy who had never seen the Sea,
the Son of a Libertina, who waited on one of the Emperor's Mistresses. Returning
back to his own Vessel, he was charged with Neglect of Duty, and the Ship given
to a favourite Page of Publicola the Vice-Admiral; whereupon he retired to a
poor Farm, at a great Distance from Rome, and there ended his Life. I was so
curious to know the Truth of this Story, that I desired Agrippa might be called,
who was Admiral in that Fight. He appeared, and confirmed the whole Account, but
with much more Advantage to the Captain, whose Modesty had extenuated or
concealed a great Part of his Merit.
    I was surprised to find Corruption grown so high and so quick in that
Empire, by the Force of Luxury so lately introduced; which made me less wonder
at many parallel Cases in other Countries, where Vices of all Kinds have reigned
so much longer, and where the whole Praise as well as Pillage hath been
engrossed by the chief Commander, who perhaps had the least Title to either.
    As every Person called up made exactly the same Appearance he had done in
the World, it gave me melancholy Reflections to observe how much the Race of
human Kind was degenerate among us, within these Hundred Years past. How the Pox
under all its Consequences and Denominations had altered every Lineament of an
English Countenance; shortened the Size of Bodies, unbraced the Nerves, relaxed
the Sinews and Muscles, introduced a sallow Complexion, and rendered the Flesh
loose and rancid.
    I descended so low as to desire that some English Yeomen of the old Stamp,
might be summoned to appear; once so famous for the Simplicity of their Manners,
Dyet and Dress; for Justice in their Dealings; for their true Spirit of Liberty;
for their Valour and Love of their Country. Neither could I be wholly unmoved
after comparing the Living with the Dead, when I considered how all these pure
native Virtues were prostituted for a Piece of Money by their Grand-children;
who in selling their Votes, and managing at Elections have acquired every Vice
and Corruption that can possibly be learned in a Court.
 

                                   Chap. IX.

The Author's Return to Maldonada. Sails to the Kingdom of Luggnagg. The Author
confined. He is sent for to Court. The Manner of his Admittance. The King's
great Lenity to his Subjects.
 
The Day of our Departure being come, I took leave of his Highness the Governor
of Glubbdubdribb, and returned with my two Companions to Maldonada, where after
a Fortnight's waiting, a Ship was ready to sail for Luggnagg. The two Gentlemen
and some others were so generous and kind as to furnish me with Provisions, and
see me on Board. I was a Month in this Voyage. We had one violent Storm, and
were under a Necessity of steering Westward to get into the Trade-Wind, which
holds for above sixty Leagues. On the 21st of April, 1708, we sailed in the
River of Clumegnig, which is a Seaport Town, at the South-East Point of
Luggnagg. We cast Anchor within a League of the Town, and made a Signal for a
Pilot. Two of them came on Board in less than half an Hour, by whom we were
guided between certain Shoals and Rocks, which are very dangerous in the
Passage, to a large Basin, where a Fleet may ride in Safety within a Cable's
Length of the Town-Wall.
    Some of our Sailors, whether out of Treachery or Inadvertence, had informed
the Pilots that I was a Stranger and a great Traveller, whereof these gave
Notice to a Custom-House Officer, by whom I was examined very strictly upon my
landing. This Officer spoke to me in the Language of Balnibarbi, which by the
Force of much Commerce is generally understood in that Town, especially by
Seamen, and those employed in the Customs. I gave him a short Account of some
Particulars, and made my Story as plausible and consistent as I could; but I
thought it necessary to disguise my Country, and call my self a Hollander;
because my Intentions were for Japan, and I knew the Dutch were the only
Europeans permitted to enter into that Kingdom. I therefore told the Officer,
that having been shipwrecked on the Coast of Balnibarbi, and cast on a Rock, I
was received up into Laputa, or the flying Island (of which he had often heard)
and was now endeavouring to get to Japan, from whence I might find a Convenience
of returning to my own Country. The Officer said, I must be confined till he
could receive Orders from Court, for which he would write immediately, and hoped
to receive an Answer in a Fortnight. I was carried to a convenient Lodging, with
a Centry placed at the Door; however I had the Liberty of a large Garden, and
was treated with Humanity enough, being maintained all the Time at the King's
Charge. I was visited by several Persons, chiefly out of Curiosity, because it
was reported I came from Countries very remote, of which they had never heard.
    I hired a young Man who came in the same Ship to be an Interpreter; he was a
Native of Luggnagg, but had lived some Years at Maldonada, and was a perfect
Master of both Languages. By his Assistance I was able to hold a Conversation
with those that came to visit me; but this consisted only of their Questions and
my Answers.
    The Dispatch came from Court about the Time we expected. It contained a
Warrant for conducting me and my Retinue to Traldragdubb or Trildrogdrib, (for
it is pronounced both Ways as near as I can remember) by a Party of Ten Horse.
All my Retinue was that poor Lad for an Interpreter, whom I persuaded into my
Service. At my humble Request we had each of us a Mule to ride on. A Messenger
was dispatched half a Day's Journey before us, to give the King Notice of my
Approach, and to desire that his Majesty would please to appoint a Day and Hour,
when it would be his gracious Pleasure that I might have the Honour to lick the
Dust before his Footstool. This is the Court Style, and I found it to be more
than Matter of Form: For upon my Admittance two Days after my Arrival, I was
commanded to crawl upon my Belly, and lick the Floor as I advanced; but on
account of my being a Stranger, Care was taken to have it so clean that the Dust
was not offensive. However, this was a peculiar Grace, not allowed to any but
Persons of the highest Rank, when they desire an Admittance: Nay, sometimes the
Floor is strewed with Dust on purpose, when the Person to be admitted happens to
have powerful Enemies at Court: And I have seen a great Lord with his Mouth so
crammed, that when he had crept to the proper Distance from the Throne, he was
not able to speak a Word. Neither is there any Remedy, because it is capital for
those who receive an Audience to spit or wipe their Mouths in his Majesty's
Presence. There is indeed another Custom, which I cannot altogether approve of.
When the King hath a Mind to put any of his Nobles to Death in a gentle
indulgent Manner; he commands to have the Floor strowed with a certain brown
Powder, of a deadly Composition, which being licked up infallibly kills him in
twenty-four Hours. But in Justice to this Prince's great Clemency, and the Care
he hath of his Subjects Lives, (wherein it were much to be wished that the
Monarchs of Europe would imitate him) it must be mentioned for his Honour, that
strict Orders are given to have the infected Parts of the Floor well washed
after every such Execution; which if his Domesticks neglect, they are in Danger
of incurring his Royal Displeasure. I my self heard him give Directions, that
one of his Pages should be whipped, whose Turn it was to give Notice about washing
the Floor after an Execution, but maliciously had omitted it; by which Neglect a
young Lord of great Hopes coming to an Audience, was unfortunately poisoned,
although the King at that Time had no Design against his Life. But this good
Prince was so gracious, as to forgive the Page his Whipping, upon Promise that
he would do so no more, without special Orders.
    To return from this Digression; when I had crept within four Yards of the
Throne, I raised my self gently upon my Knees, and then striking my Forehead
seven Times against the Ground, I pronounced the following Words, as they had
been taught me the Night before, Ickpling Gloffthrobb Squutserumm blhiop
Mlashnalt Zwin tnodbalkguffh Slhiophad Gurdlubh Asht. This is the Compliment
established by the Laws of the Land for all Persons admitted to the King's
Presence. It may be rendered into English thus: May your cælestial Majesty
out-live the Sun, eleven Moons and an half. To this the King returned some
Answer, which although I could not understand, yet I replied as I had been
directed; Fluft drin Yalerick Dwuldum prastrad mirplush, which properly
signifies, My Tongue is in the Mouth of my Friend; and by this Expression was
meant that I desired leave to bring my Interpreter; whereupon the young Man
already mentioned was accordingly introduced; by whose Intervention I answered
as many Questions as his Majesty could put in above an Hour. I spoke in the
Balnibarbian Tongue, and my Interpreter delivered my Meaning in that of
Luggnagg.
    The King was much delighted with my Company, and ordered his Bliffmarklub or
High Chamberlain to appoint a Lodging in the Court for me and my Interpreter,
with a daily Allowance for my Table, and a large Purse of Gold for my common
Expenses.
    I stayed three Months in this Country out of perfect Obedience to his
Majesty, who was pleased highly to favour me, and made me very honourable
Offers. But I thought it more consistent with Prudence and Justice to pass the
Remainder of my Days with my Wife and Family.
 

                                    Chap. X.

The Luggnuggians commended. A particular Description of the Struldbrugs, with
many Conversations between the Author and some eminent Persons upon that
Subject.
 
The Luggnuggians are a polite and generous People, and although they are not
without some Share of that Pride which is peculiar to all Eastern Countries, yet
they show themselves courteous to Strangers, especially such who are
countenanced by the Court. I had many Acquaintance among Persons of the best
Fashion, and being always attended by my Interpreter, the Conversation we had
was not disagreeable.
    One Day in much good Company, I was asked by a Person of Quality, whether I
had seen any of their Struldbrugs or Immortals. I said I had not; and desired he
would explain to me what he meant by such an Appellation, applyed to a mortal
Creature. He told me, that sometimes, although very rarely, a Child happened to
be born in a Family with a red circular Spot in the Forehead, directly over the
left Eye-brow, which was an infallible Mark that it should never dye. The Spot,
as he described it, was about the Compass of a Silver Threepence, but in the
Course of Time grew larger, and changed its Colour; for at Twelve Years old it
became green, so continued till Five and Twenty, then turned to a deep blue; at
Five and Forty it grew coal black, and as large as an English Shilling; but
never admitted any farther Alteration. He said these Births were so rare, that
he did not believe there could be above Eleven Hundred Struldbrugs of both Sexes
in the whole Kingdom, of which he computed about Fifty in the Metropolis, and
among the rest a young Girl born about three Years ago. That, these Productions
were not peculiar to any Family, but a meer Effect of Chance; and the Children
of the Struldbruggs themselves, were equally mortal with the rest of the People.
    I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressible Delight upon
hearing this Account: And the Person who gave it me happening to understand the
Balnibarbian Language, which I spoke very well, I could not forbear breaking out
into Expressions perhaps a little too extravagant. I cryed out as in a Rapture;
Happy Nation, where every Child hath at least a Chance for being immortal! Happy
People who enjoy so many living Examples of ancient Virtue, and have Masters
ready to instruct them in the Wisdom of all former Ages! But, happiest beyond
all Comparison are those excellent Struldbruggs, who being born exempt from that
universal Calamity of human Nature, have their Minds free and disingaged,
without the Weight and Depression of Spirits caused by the continual
Apprehension of Death. I discovered my Admiration that I had not observed any of
these illustrious Persons at Court; the black Spot on the Forehead, being so
remarkable a Distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked it: And it was
impossible that his Majesty, a most judicious Prince, should not provide himself
with a good Number of such wise and able Counsellors. Yet perhaps the Virtue of
those Reverend Sages was too strict for the corrupt and libertine Manners of a
Court. And we often find by Experience, that young Men are too opinionative and
volatile to be guided by the sober Dictates of their Seniors. However, since the
King was pleased to allow me Access to his Royal Person, I was resolved upon the
very first Occasion to deliver my Opinion to him on this Matter freely, and at
large by the Help of my Interpreter; and whether he would please to take my
Advice or no, yet in one Thing I was determined, that his Majesty having
frequently offered me an Establishment in this Country, I would with great
Thankfulness accept the Favour, and pass my Life here in the Conversation of
those superiour Beings the Struldbruggs, if they would please to admit me.
    The Gentleman to whom I addressed my Discourse, because (as I have already
observed) he spoke the Language of Balnibarbi, said to me with a Sort of a
Smile, which usually ariseth from Pity to the Ignorant, that he was glad of any
Occasion to keep me among them, and desired my Permission to explain to the
Company what I had spoke. He did so; and they talked together for some time in
their own Language, whereof I understood not a Syllable, neither could I observe
by their Countenances what Impression my Discourse had made on them. After a
short Silence, the same Person told me, that his Friends and mine (so he thought
fit to express himself) were very much pleased with the judicious Remarks I had
made on the great Happiness and Advantages of immortal Life; and they were
desirous to know in a particular Manner, what Scheme of Living I should have
formed to myself, if it had fallen to my Lot to have been born a Struldbrugg.
    I answered, it was easy to be eloquent on so copious and delightful a
Subject, especially to me who have been often apt to amuse myself with Visions
of what I should do if I were a King, a General, or a great Lord: And upon this
very Case I had frequently run over the whole System how I should employ myself,
and pass the Time if I were sure to live for ever.
    That, if it had been my good Fortune to come into the World a Struldbrugg;
as soon as I could discover my own Happiness by understanding the Difference
between Life and Death, I would first resolve by all Arts and Methods whatsoever
to procure myself Riches: In the Pursuit of which, by Thrift and Management, I
might reasonably expect in about two Hundred Years, to be the wealthiest Man in
the Kingdom. In the second Place, I would from my earliest Youth apply myself to
the Study of Arts and Sciences, by which I should arrive in time to excel all
others in Learning. Lastly, I would carefully record every Action and Event of
Consequence that happened in the Publick, impartially draw the Characters of the
several Successions of Princes, and great Ministers of State; with my own
Observations on every Point. I would exactly set down the several Changes in
Customs, Language, Fashion of Dress, Dyet and Diversions. By all which
Acquirements, I should be a living Treasury of Knowledge and Wisdom, and
certainly become the Oracle of the Nation.
    I would never marry after Threescore, but live in an hospitable Manner, yet
still on the saving Side. I would entertain myself in forming and directing the
Minds of hopeful young Men, by convincing them from my own Remembrance,
Experience and Observation, fortified by numerous Examples, of the Usefulness of
Virtue in public and private Life. But, my choise and constant Companions
should be a Sett of my own immortal Brotherhood, among whom I would elect a
Dozen from the most ancient down to my own Contemporaries. Where any of these
wanted Fortunes, I would provide them with convenient Lodges round my own
Estate, and have some of them always at my Table, only mingling a few of the
most valuable among you Mortals, whom Length of Time would harden me to lose
with little or no Reluctance, and treat your Posterity after the same Manner;
just as a Man diverts himself with the annual Succession of Pinks and Tulips in
his Garden, without regretting the Loss of those which withered the preceding
Year.
    These Struldbruggs and I would mutually communicate our Observations and
Memorials through the Course of Time; remark the several Gradations by which
Corruption steals into the World, and oppose it in every Step, by giving
perpetual Warning and Instruction to Mankind; which, added to the strong
Influence of our own Example, would probably prevent that continual Degeneracy
of human Nature, so justly complained of in all Ages.
    Add to all this, the Pleasure of seeing the various Revolutions of States
and Empires; the Changes in the lower and upper World; ancient Cities in Ruins,
and obscure Villages become the Seats of Kings. Famous Rivers lessening into
shallow Brooks; the Ocean leaving one Coast dry, and overwhelming another: The
Discovery of many Countries yet unknown. Barbarity overrunning the politest
Nations, and the most barbarous becoming civilized. I should then see the
Discovery of the Longitude, the perpetual Motion, the universal Medicine, and
many other great Inventions brought to the utmost Perfection.
    What wonderful Discoveries should we make in Astronomy, by outliving and
confirming our own Predictions; by observing the Progress and Returns of Comets,
with the Changes of Motion in the Sun, Moon and Stars.
    I enlarged upon many other Topicks, which the natural Desire of endless Life
and sublunary Happiness could easily furnish me with. When I had ended, and the
Sum of my Discourse had been interpreted as before, to the rest of the Company,
there was a good Deal of Talk among them in the Language of the Country, not
without some Laughter at my Expense. At last the same Gentleman who had been my
Interpreter, said, he was desired by the rest to set me right in a few Mistakes,
which I had fallen into through the common Imbecility of human Nature, and upon
that Allowance was less answerable for them. That, this Breed of Struldbruggs
was peculiar to their Country, for there were no such People either in
Balnibarbi or Japan, where he had the Honour to be Embassador from his Majesty,
and found the Natives in both those Kingdoms very hard to believe that the Fact
was possible; and it appeared from my Astonishment when he first mentioned the
Matter to me, that I received it as a Thing wholly new, and scarcely to be
credited. That in the two Kingdoms above-mentioned, where during his Residence
he had conversed very much, he observed long Life to be the universal Desire and
Wish of Mankind. That, whoever had one Foot in the Grave, was sure to hold back
the other as strongly as he could. That the oldest had still Hopes of living one
Day longer, and looked on Death as the greatest Evil, from which Nature always
prompted him to retreat; only in this Island of Luggnagg, the Appetite for
living was not so eager, from the continual Example of the Struldbruggs before
their Eyes.
    That the System of Living contrived by me was unreasonable and unjust,
because it supposed a Perpetuity of Youth, Health, and Vigour, which no Man
could be so foolish to hope, however extravagant he might be in his Wishes.
That, the Question therefore was not whether a Man would choose to be always in
the Prime of Youth, attended with Prosperity and Health; but how he would pass a
perpetual Life under all the usual Disadvantages which old Age brings along with
it. For although few Men will avow their Desires of being immortal upon such
hard Conditions, yet in the two Kingdoms beforementioned of Balnibarbi and
Japan, he observed that every Man desired to put off Death for sometime longer,
let it approach ever so late; and he rarely heard of any Man who died willingly,
except he were incited by the Extremity of Grief or Torture. And he appealed to
me whether in those Countries I had travelled as well as my own, I had not
observed the same general Disposition.
    After this Preface, he gave me a particular Account of the Struldbruggs
among them. He said they commonly acted like Mortals, till about Thirty Years
old, after which by Degrees they grew melancholy and dejected, increasing in
both till they came to Fourscore. This he learned from their own Confession; for
otherwise there not being above two or three of that Species born in an Age,
they were too few to form a general Observation by. When they came to Fourscore
Years, which is reckoned the Extremity of living in this Country, they had not
only all the Follies and Infirmities of other old Men, but many more which arose
from the dreadful Prospect of never dying. They were not only opinionative,
peevish, covetous, morose, vain, talkative; but uncapable of Friendship, and
dead to all natural Affection, which never descended below their Grand-children.
Envy and impotent Desires, are their prevailing Passions. But those Objects
against which their Envy seems principally directed, are the Vices of the
younger Sort, and the Deaths of the old. By reflecting on the former, they find
themselves cut off from all Possibility of Pleasure; and whenever they see a
Funeral, they lament and repine that others are gone to an Harbour of Rest, to
which they themselves never can hope to arrive. They have no Remembrance of any
thing but what they learned and observed in their Youth and middle Age, and even
that is very imperfect: And for the Truth or Particulars of any Fact, it is
safer to depend on common Traditions than upon their best Recollections. The
least miserable among them, appear to be those who turn to Dotage, and entirely
lose their Memories; these meet with more Pity and Assistance, because they want
many bad Qualities which abound in others.
    If a Struldbrugg happen to marry one of his own Kind, the Marriage is
dissolved of Course by the Courtesy of the Kingdom, as soon as the younger of
the two comes to be Fourscore. For the Law thinks it a reasonable Indulgence,
that those who are condemned without any Fault of their own to a perpetual
Continuance in the World, should not have their Misery doubled by the Load of a
Wife.
    As soon as they have completed the Term of Eighty Years, they are looked on
as dead in Law; their Heirs immediately succeed to their Estates, only a small
Pittance is reserved for their Support; and the poor ones are maintained at the
public Charge. After that Period they are held incapable of any Employment of
Trust or Profit; they cannot purchase Lands, or take Leases, neither are they
allowed to be Witnesses in any Cause, either Civil or Criminal, not even for the
Decision of Meers and Bounds.
    At Ninety they lose their Teeth and Hair; they have at that Age no
Distinction of Taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get, without Relish or
Appetite. The Diseases they were subject to, still continue without increasing
or diminishing. In talking they forget the common Appellation of Things, and the
Names of Persons, even of those who are their nearest Friends and Relations. For
the same Reason they never can amuse themselves with reading, because their
Memory will not serve to carry them from the Beginning of a Sentence to the End;
and by this Defect they are deprived of the only Entertainment whereof they
might otherwise be capable.
    The Language of this Country being always upon the Flux, the Struldbruggs of
one Age do not understand those of another; neither are they able after two
Hundred Years to hold any Conversation (farther than by a few general Words)
with their Neighbours the Mortals; and thus they lye under the Disadvantage of
living like Foreigners in their own Country.
    This was the Account given me of the Struldbruggs, as near as I can
remember. I afterwards saw five or six of different Ages, the youngest not above
two Hundred Years old, who were brought to me at several Times by some of my
Friends; but although they were told that I was a great Traveller, and had seen
all the World, they had not the least Curiosity to ask me a Question; only
desired I would give them Slumskudask, or a Token of Remembrance; which is a
modest Way of begging, to avoid the Law that strictly forbids it, because they
are provided for by the Publick, although indeed with a very scanty Allowance.
    They are despised and hated by all Sorts of People: When one of them is
born, it is reckoned ominous, and their Birth is recorded very particularly; so
that you may know their Age by consulting the Registry, which however hath not
been kept above a Thousand Years past, or at least hath been destroyed by Time
or public Disturbances. But the usual Way of computing how old they are, is, by
asking them what Kings or great Persons they can remember, and then consulting
History; for infallibly the last Prince in their Mind did not begin his Reign
after they were Fourscore Years old.
    They were the most mortifying Sight I ever beheld; and the Women more
horrible than the Men. Besides the usual Deformities in extreme old Age, they
acquired an additional Ghastliness in Proportion to their Number of Years, which
is not to be described; and among half a Dozen I soon distinguished which was
the eldest, although there were not above a Century or two between them.
    The Reader will easily believe, that from what I had heard and seen, my keen
Appetite for Perpetuity of Life was much abated. I grew heartily ashamed of the
pleasing Visions I had formed; and thought no Tyrant could invent a Death into
which I would not run with Pleasure from such a Life. The King heard of all that
had passed between me and my Friends upon this Occasion, and raillied me very
pleasantly; wishing I would send a Couple of Struldbruggs to my own Country, to
arm our People against the Fear of Death; but this it seems is forbidden by the
fundamental Laws of the Kingdom; or else I should have been well content with
the Trouble and Expense of transporting them.
    I could not but agree, that the Laws of this Kingdom relating to the
Struldbruggs, were founded upon the strongest Reasons, and such as any other
Country would be under the Necessity of enacting in the like Circumstances.
Otherwise, as Avarice is the necessary Consequent of old Age, those Immortals
would in time become Proprietors of the whole Nation, and engross the Civil
Power; which, for want of Abilities to manage, must end in the Ruin of the
Publick.
 

                                   Chap. XI.

The Author leaves Luggnagg and sails to Japan. From thence he returns in a Dutch
Ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England.
 
I thought this Account of the Struldbruggs might be some Entertainment to the
Reader, because it seems to be a little out of the common Way; at least, I do
not remember to have met the like in any Book of Travels that hath come to my
Hands: And if I am deceived, my Excuse must be, that it is necessary for
Travellers, who describe the same Country, very often to agree in dwelling on
the same Particulars, without deserving the Censure of having borrowed or
transcribed from those who wrote before them.
    There is indeed a perpetual Commerce between this Kingdom and the great
Empire of Japan; and it is very probable that the Japanese Authors may have
given some Account of the Struldbruggs; but my Stay in Japan was so short, and I
was so entirely a Stranger to the Language, that I was not qualified to make any
Enquiries. But I hope the Dutch upon this Notice will be curious and able enough
to supply my Defects.
    His Majesty having often pressed me to accept some Employment in his Court,
and finding me absolutely determined to return to my Native Country; was pleased
to give me his Licence to depart; and honoured me with a Letter of
Recommendation under his own Hand to the Emperor of Japan. He likewise presented
me with four Hundred forty-four large Pieces of Gold (this Nation delighting in
even Numbers) and a red Diamond which I sold in England for Eleven Hundred
Pounds.
    On the 6th Day of May, 1709, I took a solemn Leave of his Majesty, and all
my Friends. This Prince was so gracious as to order a Guard to conduct me to
Glanguenstald, which is a Royal Port to the South-West Part of the Island. In
six Days I found a Vessel ready to carry me to Japan; and spent fifteen Days in
the Voyage. We landed at a small Port-Town called Xamoschi, situated on the
South-East Part of Japan. The Town lies on the Western Part, where there is a
narrow Streight, leading Northward into a long Arm of the Sea, upon the
North-West Part of which Yedo the Metropolis stands. At landing I showed the
Custom-House Officers my Letter from the King of Luggnagg to his Imperial
Majesty: They knew the Seal perfectly well; it was as broad as the Palm of my
Hand. The Impression was, A King lifting up a lame Beggar from the Earth. The
Magistrates of the Town hearing of my Letter, received me as a public Minister;
they provided me with Carriages and Servants, and bore my Charges to Yedo, where
I was admitted to an Audience, and delivered my Letter; which was opened with
great Ceremony, and explained to the Emperor by an Interpreter, who gave me
Notice of his Majesty's Order, that I should signify my Request; and whatever it
were, it should be granted for the sake of his Royal Brother of Luggnagg. This
Interpreter was a Person employed to transact Affairs with the Hollanders: He
soon conjectured by my Countenance that I was an European, and therefore
repeated his Majesty's Commands in Low-Dutch, which he spoke perfectly well. I
answered, (as I had before determined) that I was a Dutch Merchant, shipwrecked
in a very remote Country, from whence I travelled by Sea and Land to Luggnagg,
and then took Shipping for Japan, where I knew my Countrymen often traded, and
with some of these I hoped to get an Opportunity of returning into Europe: I
therefore most humbly entreated his Royal Favour to give Order, that I should be
conducted in Safety to Nangasac. To this I added another Petition, that for the
sake of my Patron the King of Luggnagg, his Majesty would condescend to excuse
my performing the Ceremony imposed on my Countrymen, of trampling upon the
Crucifix; because I had been thrown into his Kingdom by my Misfortunes, without
any Intention of trading. When this latter Petition was interpreted to the
Emperor, he seemed a little surprised; and said, he believed I was the first of
my Countrymen who ever made any Scruple in this Point; and that he began to
doubt whether I were a real Hollander or no; but rather suspected I must be a
CHRISTIAN. However, for the Reasons I had offered, but chiefly to gratify the
King of Luggnagg, by an uncommon Mark of his Favour, he would comply with the
singularity of my Humour; but the Affair must be managed with Dexterity, and his
Officers should be commanded to let me pass as it were by Forgetfulness. For he
assured me, that if the Secret should be discovered by my Countrymen, the Dutch,
they would cut my Throat in the Voyage. I returned my Thanks by the Interpreter
for so unusual a Favour; and some Troops being at that Time on their March to
Nangasac, the Commanding Officer had Orders to convey me safe thither, with
particular Instructions about the Business of the Crucifix.
    On the 9th Day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very long and
troublesome Journey. I soon fell into Company of some Dutch Sailors belonging to
the Amboyna of Amsterdam, a stout Ship of 450 Tuns. I had lived long in Holland,
pursuing my Studies at Leyden, and I spoke Dutch well: The Seamen soon knew from
whence I came last; they were curious to enquire into my Voyages and Course of
Life. I made up a Story as short and probable as I could, but concealed the
greatest Part. I knew many Persons in Holland; I was able to invent Names for my
Parents, whom I pretended to be obscure People in the Province of Guelderland. I
would have given the Captain (one Theodorus Vangrult) what he pleased to ask for
my Voyage to Holland; but, understanding I was a Surgeon, he was contented to
take half the usual Rate, on Condition that I would serve him in the Way of my
Calling. Before we took Shipping, I was often asked by some of the Crew, whether
I had performed the Ceremony abovementioned? I evaded the Question by general
Answers, that I had satisfied the Emperor and Court in all Particulars. However,
a malicious Rogue of a Skipper went to an Officer, and pointing to me, told him,
I had not yet trampled on the Crucifix: But the other, who had received
Instructions to let me pass, gave the Rascal twenty Strokes on the Shoulders
with a Bamboo; after which I was no more troubled with such Questions.
    Nothing happened worth mentioning in this Voyage. We sailed with a fair Wind
to the Cape of Good Hope, where we staid only to take in fresh Water. On the 6th
of April we arrived safe at Amsterdam, having lost only three Men by Sickness in
the Voyage, and a fourth who fell from the Fore-mast into the Sea, not far from
the Coast of Guinea. From Amsterdam I soon after set sail for England in a small
Vessel belonging to that City.
    On the 10th of April, 1710, we put in at the Downs. I landed the next
Morning, and saw once more my Native Country after an Absence of five Years and
six Months complete. I went strait to Redriff, whither I arrived the same Day at
two in the Afternoon, and found my Wife and Family in good Health.
 
                           The End of the Third Part.
 

                                    Part IV.

                                        

                   A Voyage to the Country of the Houyhnhnms.

                                    Chap. I.

The Author sets out as Captain of a Ship. His Men conspire against him, confine
him a long Time to his Cabbin, set him on Shore in an unknown Land. He travels
up into the Country. The Yahoos, a strange Sort of Animal, described. The Author
meets two Houyhnhnms.
 
I continued at home with my Wife and Children about five Months in a very happy
Condition, if I could have learned the Lesson of knowing when I was well. I left
my poor Wife big with Child, and accepted an advantageous Offer made me to be
Captain of the Adventure, a stout Merchant-man of 350 Tuns: For I understood
Navigation well, and being grown weary of a Surgeon's Employment at Sea, which
however I could exercise upon Occasion, I took a skilful young Man of that
Calling, one Robert Purefoy, into my Ship. We set sail from Portsmouth upon the
7th Day of September, 1710; on the 14th we met with Captain Pocock of Bristol,
at Tenariff, who was going to the Bay of Campeachy, to cut Logwood. On the 16th
he was parted from us by a Storm: I heard since my Return, that his Ship
foundered, and none escaped, but one Cabbin-Boy. He was an honest Man, and a
good Sailor, but a little too positive in his own Opinions, which was the Cause
of his Destruction, as it hath been of several others. For if he had followed my
Advice, he might at this Time have been safe at home with his Family as well as
my self.
    I had several Men died in my Ship of Calentures, so that I was forced to get
Recruits out of Barbadoes, and the Leeward Islands, where I touched by the
Direction of the Merchants who employed me; which I had soon too much Cause to
repent; for I found afterwards that most of them had been Buccaneers. I had
fifty Hands on Board; and my Orders were, that I should trade with the Indians
in the South-Sea, and make what Discoveries I could. These Rogues whom I had
picked up, debauched my other Men, and they all formed a Conspiracy to seize the
Ship and secure me; which they did one Morning, rushing into my Cabbin, and
binding me Hand and Foot, threatening to throw me overboard, if I offered to
stir. I told them, I was their Prisoner, and would submit. This they made me
swear to do, and then unbound me, only fastening one of my Legs with a Chain
near my Bed; and placed a Centry at my Door with his Piece charged, who was
commanded to shoot me dead if I attempted my Liberty. They sent me down Victuals
and Drink, and took the Government of the Ship to themselves. Their Design was
to turn Pirates, and plunder the Spaniards, which they could not do, till they
got more Men. But first they resolved to sell the Goods in the Ship, and then go
to Madagascar for Recruits, several among them having died since my Confinement.
They sailed many Weeks, and traded with the Indians; but I knew not what Course
they took, being kept close Prisoner in my Cabbin, and expecting nothing less
than to be murdered, as they often threatened me.
    Upon the 9th Day of May, 1711, one James Welch came down to my Cabbin; and
said he had Orders from the Captain to set me ashore. I expostulated with him,
but in vain; neither would he so much as tell me who their new Captain was. They
forced me into the Long-boat, letting me put on my best Suit of clothes, which
were as good as new, and a small Bundle of Linnen, but no Arms except my Hanger;
and they were so civil as not to search my Pockets, into which I conveyed what
Money I had, with some other little Necessaries. They rowed about a League; and
then set me down down on a Strand. I desired them to tell me what Country it
was: They all swore, they knew no more than my self, but said, that the Captain
(as they called him) was resolved, after they had sold the Lading, to get rid of
me in the first Place where they discovered Land. They pushed off immediately,
advising me to make haste, for fear of being overtaken by the Tide; and bade me
farewell.
    In this desolate Condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon firm
Ground, where I sat down on a Bank to rest my self, and consider what I had best
to do. When I was a little refreshed, I went up into the Country, resolving to
deliver my self to the first Savages I should meet; and purchase my Life from
them by some Bracelets, Glass Rings, and other Toys, which Sailors usually
provide themselves with in those Voyages, and whereof I had some about me: The
Land was divided by long Rows of Trees, not regularly planted, but naturally
growing; there was great Plenty of Grass, and several Fields of Oats. I walked
very circumspectly for fear of being surprised, or suddenly shot with an Arrow
from behind, or on either Side. I fell into a beaten Road, where I saw many
Tracks of human Feet, and some of Cows, but most of Horses. At last I beheld
several Animals in a Field, and one or two of the same Kind sitting in Trees.
Their Shape was very singular, and deformed, which a little discomposed me, so
that I lay down behind a Thicket to observe them better. Some of them coming
forward near the Place where I lay, gave me an Opportunity of distinctly marking
their Form. Their Heads and Breasts were covered with a thick Hair, some
frizzled and others lank; they had Beards like Goats, and a Long Ridge of Hair
down their Backs, and the fore Parts of their Legs and Feet; but the rest of
their Bodies were bare, so that I might see their Skins, which were of a brown
Buff Colour. They had no Tails, nor any Hair at all on their Buttocks, except
about the Anus; which, I presume Nature had placed there to defend them as they
sat on the Ground; for this Posture they used, as well as lying down, and often
stood on their hind Feet. They climbed high Trees, as nimbly as a Squirrel, for
they had strong extended Claws before and behind, terminating in sharp Points,
and hooked. They would often spring, and bound, and leap with prodigious
Agility. The Females were not so large as the Males; they had long lank Hair on
their Heads, and only a Sort of Down on the rest of their Bodies, except about
the Anus, and Pudenda. Their Dugs hung between their fore Feet, and often
reached almost to the Ground as they walked. The Hair of both Sexes was of
several Colours, brown, red, black and yellow. Upon the whole, I never beheld in
all my Travels so disagreeable an Animal, or one against which I naturally
conceived so strong an Antipathy. So that thinking I had seen enough, full of
Contempt and Aversion, I got up and pursued the beaten Road, hoping it might
direct me to the Cabbin of some Indian. I had not gone far when I met one of
these Creatures full in my Way, and coming up directly to me. The ugly Monster,
when he saw me, distorted several Ways every Feature of his Visage, and stared
as at an Object he had never seen before; then approaching nearer, lifted up his
fore Paw, whether out of Curiosity or Mischief, I could not tell: But I drew my
Hanger, and gave him a good Blow with the flat Side of it; for I durst not
strike him with the Edge, fearing the Inhabitants might be provoked against me,
if they should come to know, that I had killed or maimed any of their Cattle.
When the Beast felt the Smart, he drew back, and roared so loud, that a Herd of
at least forty came flocking about me from the next Field, howling and making
odious Faces; but I ran to the Body of a Tree, and leaning my Back against it,
kept them off, by waving my Hanger. Several of this cursed Brood getting hold of
the Branches behind, leaped up into the Tree, from whence they began to
discharge their Excrements on my Head: However, I escaped pretty well, by
sticking close to the Stem of the Tree, but was almost stifled with the Filth,
which fell about me on every Side.
    In the Midst of this Distress, I observed them all to run away on a sudden
as fast as they could; at which I ventured to leave the Tree, and pursue the
Road, wondering what it was that could put them into this Fright. But looking on
my Left-Hand, I saw a Horse walking softly in the Field; which my Persecutors
having sooner discovered, was the Cause of their Flight. The Horse started a
little when he came near me, but soon recovering himself, looked full in my Face
with manifest Tokens of Wonder: He viewed my Hands and Feet, walking round me
several times. I would have pursued my Journey, but he placed himself directly
in the Way, yet looking with a very mild Aspect, never offering the least
Violence. We stood gazing at each other for some time; at last I took the
Boldness, to reach my Hand towards his Neck, with a Design to stroak it; using
the common Style and Whistle of Jockies when they are going to handle a strange
Horse. But, this Animal seeming to receive my Civilities with Disdain, shook his
Head, and bent his Brows, softly raising up his Left Fore-Foot to remove my
Hand. Then he neighed three or four times, but in so different a Cadence, that I
almost began to think he was speaking to himself in some Language of his own.
    While He and I were thus employed, another Horse came up; who applying
himself to the first in a very formal Manner, they gently struck each others
Right Hoof before, neighing several times by Turns, and varying the Sound, which
seemed to be almost articulate. They went some Paces off, as if it were to
confer together, walking Side by Side, backward and forward, like Persons
deliberating upon some Affair of Weight; but often turning their Eyes towards
me, as it were to watch that I might not escape. I was amazed to see such
Actions and Behaviour in Brute Beasts; and concluded with myself, that if the
Inhabitants of this Country were endued with a proportionable Degree of Reason,
they must needs be the wisest People upon Earth. This Thought gave me so much
Comfort, that I resolved to go forward until I could discover some House or
Village, or meet with any of the Natives; leaving the two Horses to discourse
together as they pleased. But the first, who was a Dapple-Grey, observing me to
steal off, neighed after me in so expressive a Tone, that I fancied myself to
understand what he meant; whereupon I turned back, and came near him, to expect
his farther Commands; but concealing my Fear as much as I could; for I began to
be in some Pain, how this Adventure might terminate: and the Reader will easily
believe I did not much like my present Situation.
    The two Horses came up close to me, looking with great Earnestness upon my
Face and Hands. The grey Steed rubbed my Hat all round with his Right Fore- and
discomposed it so much, that I was forced to adjust it better, by taking it off,
and settling it again; whereat both he and his Companion (who was a brown Bay)
appeared to be much surprised; the latter felt the Lappet of my Coat, and
finding it to hang loose about me, they both looked with new Signs of Wonder. He
stroked my Right Hand, seeming to admire the Softness, and Colour; but he
squeezed it so hard between his Hoof and his Pastern, that I was forced to roar;
after which they both touched me with all possible Tenderness. They were under
great Perplexity about my Shoes and Stockings, which they felt very often,
neighing to each other, and using various Gestures, not unlike those of a
Philosopher, when he would attempt to solve some new and difficult Phænomenon.
    Upon the whole, the Behaviour of these Animals was so orderly and rational,
so acute and judicious, that I at last concluded, they must needs be Magicians,
who had thus metamorphosed themselves upon some Design; and seeing a Stranger in
the Way, were resolved to divert themselves with him; or perhaps were really
amazed at the Sight of a Man so very different in Habit, Feature and Complexion
from those who might probably live in so remote a Climate. Upon the Strength of
this Reasoning, I ventured to address them in the following Manner: Gentlemen,
if you be Conjurers, as I have good Cause to believe, you can understand any
Language; therefore I make bold to let your Worships know, that I am a poor
distressed Englishman, driven by his Misfortunes upon your Coast; and I entreat
one of you, to let me ride upon his Back, as if he were a real Horse, to some
House or Village, where I can be relieved. In return of which Favour, I will
make you a Present of this Knife and Bracelet, (taking them out of my Pocket.)
The two Creatures stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with great
Attention; and when I had ended, they neighed frequently towards each other, as
if they were engaged in serious Conversation. I plainly observed, that their
Language expressed the Passions very well, and the Words might with little Pains
be resolved into an Alphabet more easily than the Chinese.
    I could frequently distinguish the Word Yahoo, which was repeated by each of
them several times; and although it were impossible for me to conjecture what it
meant, yet while the two Horses were busy in Conversation, I endeavoured to
practice this Word upon my Tongue; and as soon as they were silent, I boldly
pronounced Yahoo in a loud Voice, imitating, at the same time, as near as I
could, the Neighing of a Horse; at which they were both visibly surprised, and
the Grey repeated the same Word twice, as if he meant to teach me the right
Accent, wherein I spoke after him as well as I could, and found myself
perceivably to improve every time, although very far from any Degree of
Perfection. Then the Bay tried me with a second Word, much harder to be
pronounced; but reducing it to the English Orthography, may be spelt thus,
Houyhnhnm. I did not succeed in this so well as the former, but after two or
three farther Trials, I had better Fortune; and they both appeared amazed at my
Capacity.
    After some farther Discourse, which I then conjectured might relate to me,
the two Friends took their Leaves, with the same Compliment of striking each
other's Hoof; and the Grey made me Signs that I should walk before him; wherein
I thought it prudent to comply, till I could find a better Director. When I
offered to slacken my Pace, he would cry Hhuun, Hhuun; I guessed his Meaning,
and gave him to understand, as well as I could, that I was weary, and not able
to walk faster; upon which, he would stand a while to let me rest.
 

                                   Chap. II.

The Author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his House. The House described. The
Author's Reception. The Food of the Houyhnhnms. The Author in Distress for want
of Meat, is at last relieved. His Manner of feeding in that Country.
 
Having travelled about three Miles, we came to a long Kind of Building, made of
Timber, stuck in the Ground, and wattled a-cross; the Roof was low, and covered
with Straw. I now began to be a little comforted; and took out some Toys, which
Travellers usually carry for Presents to the Savage Indians of America and other
Parts, in hopes the People of the House would be thereby encouraged to receive
me kindly. The Horse made me a Sign to go in first; it was a large Room with a
smooth Clay Floor, and a Rack and Manger extending the whole Length on one Side.
There were three Nags, and two Mares, not eating, but some of them sitting down
upon their Hams, which I very much wondered at; but wondered more to see the
rest employed in domestick Business: The last seemed but ordinary Cattle;
however this confirmed my first Opinion, that a People who could so far civilize
brute Animals, must needs excel in Wisdom all the Nations of the World. The Grey
came in just after, and thereby prevented any ill Treatment, which the others
might have given me. He neighed to them several times in a Style of Authority,
and received Answers.
    Beyond this Room there were three others, reaching the Length of the House,
to which you passed through three Doors, opposite to each other, in the Manner
of a Vista: We went through the second Room towards the third; here the Grey
walked in first, beckoning me to attend: I waited in the second Room, and got
ready my Presents, for the Master and Mistress of the House: They were two
Knives, three Bracelets of false Pearl, a small Looking Glass and a Bead
Necklace. The Horse neighed three or four Times, and I waited to hear some
Answers in a human Voice, but I heard no other Returns than in the same Dialect,
only one or two a little shriller than his. I began to think that this House
must belong to some Person of great Note among them, because there appeared so
much ceremony before I could gain Admittance. But, that a Man of Quality should
be served all by Horses, was beyond my Comprehension. I feared my Brain was
disturbed by my Sufferings and Misfortunes: I roused my self, and looked about
me in the Room where I was left alone; this was furnished as the first, only
after a more elegant Manner. I rubbed mine Eyes often, but the same Objects
still occurred. I pinched my Arms and Sides, to awake my self, hoping I might be
in a Dream. I then absolutely concluded, that all these Appearances could be
nothing else but Necromancy and Magick. But I had no Time to pursue these
Reflections; for the Grey Horse came to the Door, and made me a Sign to follow
him into the third Room; where I saw a very comely Mare, together with a Colt
and Fole, sitting on their Haunches, upon Mats of Straw, not unartfully made,
and perfectly neat and clean.
    The Mare soon after my Entrance, rose from her Mat, and coming up close,
after having nicely observed my Hands and Face, gave me a most contemptuous
Look; then turning to the Horse, I heard the Word Yahoo often repeated betwixt
them; the meaning of which Word I could not then comprehend, although it were
the first I had learned to pronounce; but I was soon better informed, to my
everlasting Mortification: For the Horse beckoning to me with his Head, and
repeating the Word Hhuun, Hhuun, as he did upon the Road, which I understood was
to attend him, led me out into a kind of Court, where was another Building at
some Distance from the House. Here we entered, and I saw three of those
detestable Creatures, which I first met after my landing, feeding upon Roots,
and the Flesh of some Animals, which I afterwards found to be that of Asses and
Dogs, and now and then a Cow dead by Accident or Disease. They were all tied by
the Neck with strong Wyths, fastened to a Beam; they held their Food between the
Claws of their fore Feet, and tore it with their Teeth.
    The Master Horse ordered a Sorrel Nag, one of his Servants, to untie the
largest of these Animals, and take him into the Yard. The Beast and I were
brought close together; and our Countenances diligently compared, both by Master
and Servant, who thereupon repeated several Times the Word Yahoo. My Horror and
Astonishment are not to be described, when I observed, in this abominable
Animal, a perfect human Figure; the Face of it indeed was flat and broad, the
Nose depressed, the Lips large, and the Mouth wide: But these Differences are
common to all savage Nations, where the Lineaments of the Countenance are
distorted by the Natives suffering their Infants to lie grovelling on the Earth,
or by carrying them on their Backs, nuzzling with their Face against the
Mother's Shoulders. The Fore-feet of the Yahoo differed from my Hands in nothing
else, but the Length of the Nails, the Coarseness and Brownness of the Palms,
and the Hairiness on the Backs. There was the same Resemblance between our Feet,
with the same Differences, which I knew very well, although the Horses did not,
because of my Shoes and Stockings; the same in every Part of our Bodies, except
as to Hairiness and Colour, which I have already described.
    The great Difficulty that seemed to stick with the two Horses, was, to see
the rest of my Body so very different from that of a Yahoo, for which I was
obliged to my clothes, whereof they had no Conception: The Sorrel Nag offered me
a Root, which he held (after their Manner, as we shall describe in its proper
Place) between his Hoof and Pastern; I took it in my Hand, and having smelt it,
returned it to him again as civilly as I could. He brought out of the Yahoo's
Kennel a Piece of Ass's Flesh, but it smelt so offensively that I turned from it
with loathing; he then threw it to the Yahoo, by whom it was greedily devoured.
He afterwards showed me a Wisp of Hay, and a Fettlock full of Oats; but I shook
my Head, to signify, that neither of these were Food for me. And indeed, I now
apprehended, that I must absolutely starve, if I did not get to some of my own
Species: For as to those filthy Yahoos, although there were few greater Lovers
of Mankind, at that time, than myself; yet I confess I never saw any sensitive
Being so detestable on all Accounts; and the more I came near them, the more
hateful they grew, while I stayed in that Country. This the Master Horse
observed by my Behaviour, and therefore sent the Yahoo back to his Kennel. He
then put his Forehoof to his Mouth, at which I was much surprised, although he
did it with Ease, and with a Motion that appear'd perfectly natural; and made
other Signs to know what I would eat; but I could not return him such an Answer
as he was able to apprehend; and if he had understood me, I did not see how it
was possible to contrive any way for finding myself Nourishment. While we were
thus engaged, I observed a Cow passing by; whereupon I pointed to her, and
expressed a Desire to let me go and milk her. This had its Effect; for he led me
back into the House, and ordered a Mare-servant to open a Room, where a good
Store of Milk lay in Earthen and Wooden Vessels, after a very orderly and
cleanly Manner. She gave me a large Bowl full, of which I drank very heartily,
and found myself well refreshed.
    About Noon I saw coming towards the House a Kind of Vehicle, drawn like a
Sledge by four Yahoos. There was in it an old Steed, who seemed to be of
Quality; he alighted with his Hind-feet forward, having by Accident got a Hurt
in his Left Fore-foot. He came to dine with our Horse, who received him with
great Civility. They dined in the best Room, and had Oats boiled in Milk for the
second Course, which the old Horse eat warm, but the rest cold. Their Mangers
were placed circular in the Middle of the Room, and divided into several
Partitions, round which they sat on their Haunches upon Bosses of Straw. In the
Middle was a large Rack with Angles answering to every Partition of the Manger.
So that each Horse and Mare eat their own Hay, and their own Mash of Oats and
Milk, with much Decency and Regularity. The Behaviour of the young Colt and Fole
appeared very modest; and that of the Master and Mistress extremely cheerful and
complaisant to their Guest. The Grey ordered me to stand by him; and much
Discourse passed between him and his Friend concerning me, as I found by the
Stranger's often looking on me, and the frequent Repetition of the Word Yahoo.
    I happened to wear my Gloves; which the Master Grey observing, seemed
perplexed; discovering Signs of Wonder what I had done to my Fore-feet; he put
his Hoof three or four times to them, as if he would signify, that I should
reduce them to their former Shape, which I presently did, pulling off both my
Gloves, and putting them into my Pocket. This occasioned farther Talk, and I saw
the Company was pleased with my Behaviour, whereof I soon found the good
Effects. I was ordered to speak the few Words I understood; and while they were
at Dinner, the Master taught me the Names for Oats, Milk, Fire, Water, and some
others; which I could readily pronounce after him; having from my Youth a great
Facility in learning Languages.
    When Dinner was done, the Master Horse took me aside, and by Signs and Words
made me understand the Concern he was in, that I had nothing to eat. Oats in
their Tongue are called Hlunnh. This Word I pronounced two or three times; for
although I had refused them at first, yet upon second Thoughts, I considered
that I could contrive to make of them a Kind of Bread, which might be sufficient
with Milk to keep me alive, till I could make my Escape to some other Country,
and to Creatures of my own Species. The Horse immediately ordered a white
Mare-servant of his Family to bring me a good Quantity of Oats in a Sort of
wooden Tray. These I heated before the Fire as well as I could, and rubbed them
till the Husks came off, which I made a shift to winnow from the Grain; I ground
and beat them between two Stones, then took Water, and made them into a Paste or
Cake, which I toasted at the Fire, and eat warm with Milk. It was at first a
very insipid Diet, although common enough in many Parts of Europe, but grew
tolerable by Time; and having been often reduced to hard Fare in my Life, this
was not the first Experiment I had made how easily Nature is satisfied. And I
cannot but observe, that I never had one Hour's Sickness, while I staid in this
Island. It is true, I sometimes made a shift to catch a Rabbet, or Bird, by
Springes made of Yahoos Hairs; and I often gathered wholesome Herbs, which I
boiled, or eat as Salades with my Bread; and now and then, for a Rarity, I made
a little Butter, and drank the Whey. I was at first at a great Loss for Salt;
but Custom soon reconciled the Want of it; and I am confident that the frequent
Use of Salt among us is an Effect of Luxury, and was first introduced only as a
Provocative to Drink; except where it is necessary for preserving of Flesh in
long Voyages, or in Places remote from great Markets. For we observe no Animal
to be fond of it but Man: And as to myself, when I left this Country, it was a
great while before I could endure the Taste of it in any thing that I eat.
    This is enough to say upon the Subject of my Dyet, wherewith other
Travellers fill their Books, as if the Readers were personally concerned,
whether we fare well or ill. However, it was necessary to mention this Matter,
lest the World should think it impossible that I could find Sustenance for three
Years in such a Country, and among such Inhabitants.
    When it grew towards Evening, the Master Horse ordered a Place for me to
lodge in; it was but Six Yards from the House, and separated from the Stable of
the Yahoos. Here I got some Straw, and covering myself with my own clothes,
slept very sound. But I was in a short time better accommodated, as the Reader
shall know hereafter, when I come to treat more particularly about my Way of
living.
 

                                   Chap. III.

The Author studious to learn the Language, the Houyhnhnm his Master assists in
teaching him. The Language described. Several Houyhnhnms of Quality come out of
Curiosity to see the Author. He gives his Master a short Account of his Voyage.
 
My principal Endeavour was to learn the Language, which my Master (for so I
shall henceforth call him) and his Children, and every Servant of his House were
desirous to teach me. For they looked upon it as a Prodigy, that a brute Animal
should discover such Marks of a rational Creature. I pointed to every thing, and
enquired the Name of it, which I wrote down in my Journal Book when I was alone,
and corrected my bad Accent, by desiring those of the Family to pronounce it
often. In this Employment, a Sorrel Nag, one of the under Servants, was very
ready to assist me.
    In speaking, they pronounce through the Nose and Throat, and their Language
approaches nearest to the High Dutch or German, of any I know in Europe; but is
much more graceful and significant. The Emperor Charles V. made almost the same
Observation when he said, That if he were to speak to his Horse, it should be in
High Dutch.
    The Curiosity and Impatience of my Master were so great, that he spent many
Hours of his Leisure to instruct me. He was convinced (as he afterwards told me)
that I must be a Yahoo, but my Teachableness, Civility and Cleanliness
astonished him; which were Qualities altogether so opposite to those Animals. He
was most perplexed about my clothes, reasoning sometimes with himself, whether
they were a Part of my Body; for I never pulled them off till the Family were
asleep, and got them on before they waked in the Morning. My Master was eager to
learn from whence I came; how I acquired those Appearances of Reason, which I
discovered in all my Actions; and to know my Story from my own Mouth, which he
hoped he should soon do by the great Proficiency I made in learning and
pronouncing their Words and Sentences. To help my Memory, I formed all I learned
into the English Alphabet, and writ the Words down with the Translations. This
last, after some time, I ventured to do in my Master's Presence. It cost me much
Trouble to explain to him what I was doing; for the Inhabitants have not the
least Idea of Books or Literature.
    In about ten Weeks time I was able to understand most of his Questions; and
in three Months could give him some tolerable Answers. He was extremely curious
to know from what Part of the Country I came, and how I was taught to imitate a
rational Creature; because the Yahoos, (whom he saw I exactly resembled in my
Head, Hands and Face, that were only visible,) with some Appearance of Cunning,
and the strongest Disposition to Mischief, were observed to be the most
unteachable of all Brutes. I answered; that I came over the Sea, from a far
Place, with many others of my own Kind, in a great hollow Vessel made of the
Bodies of Trees: That, my Companions forced me to land on this Coast, and then
left me to shift for myself. It was with some Difficulty, and by the Help of
many Signs, that I brought him to understand me. He replied, That I must needs
be mistaken, or that I said the thing which was not. (For they have no Word in
their Language to express Lying or falsehood.) He knew it was impossible that
there could be a Country beyond the Sea, or that a Parcel of Brutes could move a
wooden Vessel whither they pleased upon Water. He was sure no Houyhnhnm alive
could make such a Vessel, or would trust Yahoos to manage it.
    The Word Houyhnhnm, in their Tongue, signifies a Horse; and in its
Etymology, the Perfection of Nature. I told my Master, that I was at a Loss for
Expression, but would improve as fast as I could; and hoped in a short time I
should be able to tell him Wonders: He was pleased to direct his own Mare, his
Colt and Pole, and the Servants of the Family to take all Opportunities of
instructing me; and every Day for two or three Hours, he was at the same Pains
himself: Several Horses and Mares of Quality in the Neighbourhood came often to
our House, upon the Report spread of a wonderful Yahoo, that could speak like a
Houyhnhnm, and seemed in his Words and Actions to discover some Glimmerings of
Reason. These delighted to converse with me; they put many Questions, and
received such Answers, as I was able to return. By all which Advantages, I made
so great a Progress, that in five Months from my Arrival, I understood whatever
was spoke, and could express myself tolerably well.
    The Houyhnhnms who came to visit my Master, out of a Design of seeing and
talking with me, could hardly believe me to be a right Yahoo, because my Body
had a different Covering from others of my Kind. They were astonished to observe
me without the usual Hair or Skin, except on my Head, Face and Hands: But I
discovered that Secret to my Master, upon an Accident, which happened about a
Fortnight before.
    I have already told the Reader, that every Night when the Family were gone
to Bed, it was my Custom to strip and cover myself with my clothes: It happened
one Morning early, that my Master sent for me, by the Sorrel Nag, who was his
Valet; when he came, I was fast asleep, my clothes fallen off on one Side, and
my Shirt above my Waste. I awake at the Noise he made, and observed him to
deliver his Message in some Disorder; after which he went to my Master, and in a
great Fright gave him a very confused Account of what he had seen: This I
presently discovered; for going as soon as I was dressed, to pay my Attendance
upon his Honour, he asked me the Meaning of what his Servant had reported; that
I was not the same Thing when I slept as I appeared to be at other times; that
his Valet assured him, some Part of me was white, some yellow, at least not so
white, and some brown.
    I had hitherto concealed the Secret of my Dress, in order to distinguish
myself as much as possible, from that cursed Race of Yahoos; but now I found it
in vain to do so any longer. Besides, I considered that my clothes and Shoes
would soon wear out, which already were in a declining Condition, and must be
supplied by some Contrivance from the Hides of Yahoos, or other Brutes; whereby
the whole Secret would be known. I therefore told my Master, that in the Country
from whence I came, those of my Kind always covered their Bodies with the Hairs
of certain Animals prepared by Art, as well for Decency, as to avoid
Inclemencies of Air both hot and cold; of which, as to my own Person I would
give him immediate Conviction, if he pleased to command me; only desiring his
Excuse, if I did not expose those Parts that Nature taught us to conceal. He
said, my Discourse was all very strange, but especially the last Part; for he
could not understand why Nature should teach us to conceal what Nature had
given. That neither himself nor Family were ashamed of any Parts of their
Bodies; but however I might do as I pleased. Whereupon, I first unbuttoned my
Coat, and pulled it off. I did the same with my Wastecoat; I drew off my Shoes,
Stockings and Breeches. I let my Shirt down to my Waste, and drew up the Bottom,
fastening it like a Girdle about my Middle to hide my Nakedness.
    My Master observed the whole Performance with great Signs of Curiosity and
Admiration. He took up all my clothes in his Pastern, one Piece after another,
and examined them diligently; he then stroaked my Body very gently, and looked
round me several Times; after which he said, it was plain I must be a perfect
Yahoo; but that I differed very much from the rest of my Species, in the
Whiteness, and Smoothness of my Skin, my want of Hair in several Parts of my
Body, the Shape and Shortness of my Claws behind and before, and my Affectation
of walking continually on my two hinder Feet. He desired to see no more; and
gave me leave to put on my clothes again, for I was shuddering with Cold.
    I expressed my Uneasiness at his giving me so often the Appellation of
Yahoo, an odious Animal, for which I had so utter an Hatred and Contempt. I
begged he would forbear applying that Word to me, and take the same Order in his
Family, and among his Friends whom he suffered to see me. I requested likewise,
that the Secret of my having a false Covering to my Body might be known to none
but himself, at least as long as my present Cloathing should last: For as to
what the Sorrel Nag his Valet had observed, his Honour might command him to
conceal it.
    All this my Master very graciously consented to; and thus the Secret was
kept till my clothes began to wear out, which I was forced to supply by several
Contrivances, that shall hereafter be mentioned. In the mean Time, he desired I
would go on with my utmost Diligence to learn their Language, because he was
more astonished at my Capacity for Speech and Reason, than at the Figure of my
Body, whether it were covered or no; adding, that he waited with some Impatience
to hear the Wonders which I promised to tell him.
    From thenceforward he doubled the Pains he had been at to instruct me; he
brought me into all Company, and made them treat me with Civility, because, as
he told them privately, this would put me into good Humour, and make me more
diverting.
    Every Day when I waited on him, beside the Trouble he was at in teaching, he
would ask me several Questions concerning my self, which I answered as well as I
could; and by those Means he had already received some general Ideas, although
very imperfect. It would be tedious to relate the several Steps, by which I
advanced to a more regular Conversation: But the first Account I gave of my self
in any Order and Length, was to this Purpose:
    That, I came from a very far Country, as I already had attempted to tell
him, with about fifty more of my own Species; that we travelled upon the Seas,
in a great hollow Vessel made of Wood, and larger than his Honour's House. I
described the Ship to him in the best Terms I could; and explained by the Help
of my Handkerchief displayed, how it was driven forward by the Wind. That, upon
a Quarrel among us, I was set on Shoar on this Coast, where I walked forward
without knowing whither, till he delivered me from the Persecution of those
execrable Yahoos. He asked me, Who made the Ship, and how it was possible that
the Houynhnhnms of my Country would leave it to the Management of Brutes? My
Answer was, that I durst proceed no farther in my Relation, unless he would give
me his Word and Honour that he would not be offended; and then I would tell him
the Wonders I had so often promised. He agreed; and I went on by assuring him,
that the Ship was made by Creatures like myself, who in all the Countries I had
travelled, as well as in my own, were the only governing, rational Animals; and
that upon my Arrival hither, I was as much astonished to see the Houyhnhnms act
like rational Beings, as he or his Friends could be in finding some Marks of
Reason in a Creature he was pleased to call a Yahoo; to which I owned my
Resemblance in every Part, but could not account for their degenerate and brutal
Nature. I said farther, That if good Fortune ever restored me to my native
Country, to relate my Travels hither, as I resolved to do; every Body would
believe that I said the Thing which was not; that I invented the Story out of my
own Head: And with all possible Respect to Himself, his Family, and Friends, and
under his Promise of not being offended, our Countrymen would hardly think it
probable, that a Houyhnhnm should be the presiding Creature of a Nation, and a
Yahoo the Brute.
 

                                   Chap. IV.

The Houyhnhnms Notion of Truth and falsehood. The Author's Discourse disapproved
by his Master. The Author gives a more particular Account of himself, and the
Accidents of his Voyage.
 
My Master heard me with great Appearances of Uneasiness in his Countenance;
because Doubting or not believing, are so little known in this Country, that the
Inhabitants cannot tell how to behave themselves under such Circumstances. And I
remember in frequent Discourses with my Master concerning the Nature of Manhood,
in other Parts of the World; having Occasion to talk of Lying, and false
Representation, it was with much Difficulty that he comprehended what I meant;
although he had otherwise a most acute judgement. For he argued thus; That the
Use of Speech was to make us understand one another, and to receive Information
of Facts; now if any one said the Thing which was not, these Ends were defeated;
because I cannot properly be said to understand him; and I am so far from
receiving Information, that he leaves me worse than in Ignorance; for I am led
to believe a Thing Black when it is White, and Short when it is Long. And these
were all the Notions he had concerning that Faculty of Lying, so perfectly well
understood, and so universally practised among human Creatures.
    To return from this Digression; when I asserted that the Yahoos were the
only governing Animals in my Country, which my Master said was altogether past
his Conception, he desired to know, whether we had Houyhnhnms among us, and what
was their Employment: I told him, we had great Numbers; that in Summer they
grazed in the Fields, and in Winter were kept in Houses, with Hay and Oats,
where Yahoo-Servants were employed to rub their Skins smooth, comb their Manes,
pick their Feet, serve them with Food, and make their Beds. I understand you
well, said my Master; it is now very plain from all you have spoken, that
whatever Share of Reason the Yahoos pretend to, the Houyhnhnms are your Masters;
I heartily wish our Yahoos would be so tractable. I begged his Honour would
please to excuse me from proceeding any farther, because I was very certain that
the Account he expected from me would be highly displeasing. But he insisted in
commanding me to let him know the best and the worst: I told him he should be
obeyed. I owned, that the Houyhnhnms among us, whom we called Horses, were the
most generous and comely Animal we had; that they excelled in Strength and
Swiftness; and when they belonged to Persons of Quality, employed in Travelling,
Racing, and drawing Chariots, they were treated with much Kindness and Care,
till they fell into Diseases, or became foundered in the Feet; but then they
were sold, and used to all kind of Drudgery till they died; after which their
Skins were stripped and sold for what they were worth, and their Bodies left to
be devoured by Dogs and Birds of Prey. But the common Race of Horses had not so
good Fortune, being kept by Farmers and Carriers, and other mean People, who put
them to greater Labour, and feed them worse. I described as well as I could, our
Way of Riding; the Shape and Use of a Bridle, a Saddle, a Spur, and a Whip; of
Harness and Wheels. I added, that we fastened Plates of a certain hard Substance
called Iron at the Bottom of their Feet, to preserve their Hoofs from being
broken by the Stony Ways on which we often travelled.
    My Master, after some Expressions of great Indignation, wondered how we
dared to venture upon a Houyhnhnm's Back; for he was sure, that the weakest
Servant in his House would be able to shake off the strongest Yahoo; or by lying
down, and rolling upon his Back, squeeze the Brute to Death. I answered, That
our Horses were trained up from three or four Years old to the several Uses we
intended them for; That if any of them proved intolerably vicious, they were
employed for Carriages; that they were severely beaten while they were young for
any mischievous Tricks: That the Males, designed for the common Use of Riding or
Draught, were generally castrated about two Years after their Birth, to take
down their Spirits, and make them more tame and gentle: That they were indeed
sensible of Rewards and Punishments; but his Honour would please to consider,
that they had not the least Tincture of Reason any more than the Yahoos in this
Country.
    It put me to the Pains of many Circumlocutions to give my Master a right
Idea of what I spoke; for their Language doth not abound in Variety of Words,
because their Wants and Passions are fewer than among us. But it is impossible
to express his noble Resentment at our savage Treatment of the Houyhnhnm Race;
particularly after I had explained the Manner and Use of Castrating Horses among
us, to hinder them from propagating their Kind, and to render them more servile.
He said, if it were possible there could be any Country where Yahoos alone were
endued with Reason, they certainly must be the governing Animal, because Reason
will in Time always prevail against Brutal Strength. But, considering the Frame
of our Bodies, and especially of mine, he thought no Creature of equal Bulk was
so ill-contrived, for employing that Reason in the common Offices of Life;
whereupon he desired to know whether those among whom I lived, resembled me or
the Yahoos of his Country. I assured him, that I was as well shaped as most of
my Age; but the younger and the Females were much more soft and tender, and the
Skins of the latter generally as white as Milk. He said, I differed indeed from
other Yahoos, being much more cleanly, and not altogether so deformed; but in
point of real Advantage, he thought I differed for the worse. That my Nails were
of no Use either to my fore or hinder Feet: As to my fore Feet, he could not
properly call them by that Name, for he never observed me to walk upon them;
that they were too soft to bear the Ground; that I generally went with them
uncovered, neither was the Covering I sometimes wore on them, of the same Shape,
or so strong as that on my Feet behind. That I could not walk with any Security;
for if either of my hinder Feet slipped, I must inevitably fall. He then began
to find fault with other Parts of my Body; the Flatness of my Face, the
Prominence of my Nose, mine Eyes placed directly in Front, so that I could not
look on either Side without turning my Head: That I was not able to feed my
self, without lifting one of my fore Feet to my Mouth: And therefore Nature had
placed those Joints to answer that Necessity. He knew not what could be the Use
of those several Clefts and Divisions in my Feet behind; that these were too
soft to bear the Hardness and Sharpness of Stones without a Covering made from
the Skin of some other Brute; that my whole Body wanted a Fence against Heat and
Cold, which I was forced to put on and off every Day with Tediousness and
Trouble. And lastly, that he observed every Animal in this Country naturally to
abhor the Yahoos, whom the Weaker avoided, and the Stronger drove from them. So
that supposing us to have the Gift of Reason, he could not see how it were
possible to cure that natural Antipathy which every Creature discovered against
us; nor consequently, how we could tame and render them serviceable. However, he
would (as he said) debate the Matter no farther, because he was more desirous to
know my own Story, the Country, where I was born, and the several Actions and
Events of my Life before I came hither.
    I assured him, how extremely desirous I was that he should be satisfied in
every Point; but I doubted much, whether it would be possible for me to explain
my self on several Subjects whereof his Honour could have no Conception, because
I saw nothing in his Country to which I could resemble them. That however, I
would do my best, and strive to express my self by Similitudes, humbly desiring
his Assistance when I wanted proper Words; which he was pleased to promise me.
    I said, my Birth was of honest Parents, in an Island called England, which
was remote from this Country, as many Days Journey as the strongest of his
Honour's Servants could travel in the Annual Course of the Sun. That I was bred
a Surgeon, whose Trade it is to cure Wounds and Hurts in the Body, got by
Accident or Violence. That my Country was governed by a Female Man, whom we
called a Queen. That I left it to get Riches, whereby I might maintain my self
and Family when I should return. That in my last Voyage, I was Commander of the
Ship and had about fifty Yahoos under me, many of which died at Sea, and I was
forced to supply them by others picked out from several Nations. That our Ship
was twice in Danger of being sunk; the first Time by a great Storm, and the
second, by striking against a Rock. Here my Master interposed, by asking me, How
I could persuade Strangers out of different Countries to venture with me, after
the Losses I had sustained, and the Hazards I had run. I said, they were Fellows
of desperate Fortunes, forced to fly from the Places of their Birth, on Account
of their Poverty or their Crimes. Some were undone by Law-suits; others spent
all they had in Drinking, Whoring and Gaming; others fled for Treason; many for
Murder, Theft, Poysoning, Robbery, Perjury, Forgery, Coining false Money; for
committing Rapes or Sodomy; for flying from their Colours, or deserting to the
Enemy; and most of them had broken Prison. None of these durst return to their
native Countries for fear of being hanged, or of starving in a Jail; and
therefore were under a Necessity of seeking a Livelihood in other Places.
    During this Discourse, my Master was pleased often to interrupt me. I had
made Use of many Circumlocutions in describing to him the Nature of the several
Crimes, for which most of our Crew had been forced to fly their Country. This
Labour took up several Days Conversation before he was able to comprehend me. He
was wholly at a Loss to know what could be the Use or Necessity of practising
those Vices. To clear up which I endeavoured to give him some Ideas of the
Desire of Power and Riches; of the terrible Effects of Lust, Intemperance,
Malice, and Envy. All this I was forced to define and describe by putting of
Cases, and making Suppositions. After which, like one whose Imagination was
struck with something never seen or heard of before, he would lift up his Eyes
with Amazement and Indignation. Power, Government, War, Law, Punishment, and a
Thousand other Things had no Terms, wherein that Language could express them;
which made the Difficulty almost insuperable to give my Master any Conception of
what I meant: But being of an excellent Understanding, much improved by
Contemplation and Converse, he at last arrived at a competent Knowledge of what
human Nature in our Parts of the World is capable to perform; and desired I
would give him some particular Account of that Land, which we call Europe,
especially, of my own Country.
 

                                    Chap. V.

The Author at his Master's Commands informs him of the State of England. The
Causes of War among the Princes of Europe. The Author begins to explain the
English Constitution.
 
The Reader may please to observe, that the following Extract of many
Conversations I had with my Master, contains a Summary of the most material
Points, which were discoursed at several times for above two Years; his Honour
often desiring fuller Satisfaction as I farther improved in the Houyhnhnm
Tongue. I laid before him, as well as I could, the whole State of Europe; I
discoursed of Trade and Manufactures, of Arts and Sciences; and the Answers I
gave to all the Questions he made, as they arose upon several Subjects, were a
Fund of Conversation not to be exhausted. But I shall here only set down the
Substance of what passed between us concerning my own Country, reducing it into
Order as well as I can, without any Regard to Time or other Circumstances, while
I strictly adhere to Truth. My only Concern is, that I shall hardly be able to
do Justice to my Master's Arguments and Expressions, which must needs suffer by
my Want of Capacity, as well as by a Translation into our barbarous English.
    In Obedience therefore to his Honour's Commands, I related to him the
Revolution under the Prince of Orange; the long War with France entered into by
the said Prince, and renewed by his Successor the present Queen; wherein the
greatest Powers of Christendom were engaged, and which still continued: I
computed at his Request, that about a Million of Yahoos might have been killed
in the whole Progress of it; and perhaps a Hundred or more Cities taken, and
five times as many Ships burnt or sunk.
    He asked me what were the usual Causes or Motives that made one Country go
to War with another. I answered, they were innumerable; but I should only
mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the Ambition of Princes, who never think
they have Land or People enough to govern: Sometimes the Corruption of
Ministers, who engage their Master in a War in order to stifle or divert the
Clamour of the Subjects against their evil Administration. Difference in
Opinions hath cost many Millions of Lives: For Instance, whether Flesh be Bread,
or Bread be Flesh: Whether the Juice of a certain Berry be Blood or Wine:
Whether Whistling be a Vice or a Virtue: Whether it be better to kiss a Post, or
throw it into the Fire: What is the best Colour for a Coat, whether Black,
White, Red or Grey; and whether it should be long or short, narrow or wide,
dirty or clean; with many more. Neither are any Wars so furious and bloody, or
of so long Continuance, as those occasioned by Difference in Opinion, especially
if it be in things indifferent.
    Sometimes the Quarrel between two Princes is to decide which of them shall
dispossess a Third of his Dominions, where neither of them pretend to any Right.
Sometimes one Prince quarrelleth with another, for fear the other should quarrel
with him. Sometimes a War is entered upon, because the Enemy is too strong, and
sometimes because he is too weak. Sometimes our Neighbours want the Things which
we have, or have the Things which we want; and we both fight, till they take
ours or give us theirs. It is a very justifiable Cause of War to invade a
Country after the People have been wasted by Famine, destroyed by Pestilence, or
embroiled by Factions amongst themselves. It is justifiable to enter into a War
against our nearest Ally, when one of his Towns lies convenient for us, or a
Territory of Land, that would render our Dominions round and compact. If a
Prince send Forces into a Nation, where the People are poor and ignorant, he may
lawfully put half of them to Death, and make Slaves of the rest, in order to
civilize and reduce them from their barbarous Way of Living. It is a very
kingly, honourable, and frequent Practice, when one Prince desires the
Assistance of another to secure him against an Invasion, that the Assistant,
when he hath driven out the Invader, should seize on the Dominions himself, and
kill, imprison or banish the Prince he came to relieve. Allyance by Blood or
Marriage, is a sufficient Cause of War between Princes; and the nearer the
Kindred is, the greater is their Disposition to quarrel: Poor Nations are
hungry, and rich Nations are proud; and Pride and Hunger will ever be at
Variance. For these Reasons, the Trade of a Soldier is held the most honourable
of all others: Because a Soldier is a Yahoo hired to kill in cold Blood as many
of his own Species, who have never offended him, as possibly he can.
    There is likewise a Kind of beggarly Princes in Europe, not able to make War
by themselves, who hire out their Troops to richer Nations for so much a Day to
each Man; of which they keep three Fourths to themselves, and it is the best
Part of their Maintenance; such are those in many Northern Parts of Europe.
    What you have told me, (said my Master) upon the Subject of War, doth indeed
discover most admirably the Effects of that Reason you pretend to: However, it
is happy that the Shame is greater than the Danger; and that Nature hath left
you utterly uncapable of doing much Mischief: For your Mouths lying flat with
your Faces, you can hardly bite each other to any Purpose, unless by Consent.
Then, as to the Claws upon your Feet before and behind, they are so short and
tender, that one of our Yahoos would drive a Dozen of yours before him. And
therefore in recounting the Numbers of those who have been killed in Battle, I
cannot but think that you have said the Thing which is not.
    I could not forbear shaking my Head and smiling a little at his Ignorance.
And, being no Stranger to the Art of War, I gave him a Description of Cannons,
Culverins, Muskets, Carabines, Pistols, Bullets, Powder, Swords, Bayonets,
Sieges, Retreats, Attacks, Undermines, Countermines, Bombardments, Sea-fights;
Ships sunk with a Thousand Men; twenty Thousand killed on each Side; dying
Groans, Limbs flying in the Air: Smoak, Noise, Confusion, trampling to Death
under Horses Feet: Flight, Pursuit, Victory; Fields strewed with Carcases left
for Food to Dogs, and Wolves, and Birds of Prey; Plundering, Stripping,
Ravishing, Burning and Destroying. And, to set forth the Valour of my own dear
Countrymen, I assured him, that I had seen them blow up a Hundred Enemies at
once in a Siege, and as many in a Ship; and beheld the dead Bodies drop down in
Pieces from the Clouds, to the great Diversion of all the Spectators.
    I was going on to more Particulars, when my Master commanded me Silence. He
said, whoever understood the Nature of Yahoos might easily believe it possible
for so vile an Animal, to be capable of every Action I had named, if their
Strength and Cunning equalled their Malice. But, as my Discourse had increased
his Abhorrence of the whole Species, so he found it gave him a Disturbance in
his Mind, to which he was wholly a Stranger before. He thought his Ears being
used to such abominable Words, might by Degrees admit them with less
Detestation. That, although he hated the Yahoos of this Country, yet he no more
blamed them for their odious Qualities, than he did a Gnnayh (a Bird of Prey)
for its Cruelty, or a sharp Stone for cutting his Hoof. But, when a Creature
pretending to Reason, could be capable of such Enormities, he dreaded lest the
Corruption of that Faculty might be worse than Brutality itself. He seemed
therefore confident, that instead of Reason, we were only possessed of some
Quality fitted to increase our natural Vices; as the Reflection from a troubled
Stream returns the Image of an ill-shapen Body, not only larger, but more
distorted.
    He added, That he had heard too much upon the Subject of War, both in this,
and some former Discourses. There was another Point which a little perplexed him
at present. I had said, that some of our Crew left their Country on Account of
being ruined by Law: That I had already explained the Meaning of the Word; but
he was at a Loss how it should come to pass, that the Law which was intended for
every Man's Preservation, should be any Man's Ruin. Therefore he desired to be
farther satisfied what I meant by Law, and the Dispensers thereof, according to
the present Practice in my own Country: Because he thought, Nature and Reason
were sufficient Guides for a reasonable Animal, as we pretended to be, in
showing us what we ought to do, and what to avoid.
    I assured his Honour, that Law was a Science wherein I had not much
conversed, further than by employing Advocates, in vain, upon some Injustices
that had been done me. However, I would give him all the Satisfaction I was
able.
    I said there was a Society of Men among us, bred up from their Youth in the
Art of proving by Words multiplied for the Purpose, that White is Black, and
Black is White, according as they are paid. To this Society all the rest of the
People are Slaves.
    For Example. If my Neighbour hath a mind to my Cow, he hires a Lawyer to
prove that he ought to have my Cow from me. I must then hire another to defend
my Right; it being against all Rules of Law that any Man should be allowed to
speak for himself. Now in this Case, I who am the true Owner lie under two great
Disadvantages. First, my Lawyer being practised almost from his Cradle in
defending falsehood; is quite out of his Element when he would be an Advocate for
Justice, which as an Office unnatural, he always attempts with great
Awkwardness, if not with Ill-will. The second Disadvantage is, that my Lawyer
must proceed with great Caution: Or else he will be reprimanded by the Judges,
and abhorred by his Brethren, as one who would lessen the Practice of the Law.
And therefore I have but two Methods to preserve my Cow. The first is, to gain
over my Adversary's Lawyer with a double Fee; who will then betray his Client,
by insinuating that he hath Justice on his Side. The second Way is for my Lawyer
to make my Cause appear as unjust as he can; by allowing the Cow to belong to my
Adversary; and this if it be skilfully done, will certainly bespeak the Favour
of the Bench.
    Now, your Honour is to know, that these Judges are Persons appointed to
decide all Controversies of Property, as well as for the Tryal of Criminals; and
picked out from the most dexterous Lawyers who are grown old or lazy: And having
been byassed all their Lives against Truth and Equity, are under such a fatal
Necessity of favouring Fraud, Perjury and Oppression; that I have known some of
them to have refused a large Bribe from the Side where Justice lay, rather than
injure the Faculty, by doing any thing unbecoming their Nature or their Office.
    It is a Maxim among these Lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may
legally be done again: And therefore they take special Care to record all the
Decisions formerly made against common Justice and the general Reason of
Mankind. These, under the Name of Precedents, they produce as Authorities to
justify the most iniquitous Opinions; and the Judges never fail of decreeing
accordingly.
    In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the Merits of the Cause;
but are loud, violent and tedious in dwelling upon all Circumstances which are
not to the Purpose. For Instance, in the Case already mentioned: They never
desire to know what Claim or Title my Adversary hath to my Cow; but whether the
said Cow were Red or Black; her Horns long or short; whether the Field I graze
her in be round or square; whether she were milked at home or abroad; what
Diseases she is subject to, and the like. After which they consult Precedents,
adjourn the Cause, from Time to Time, and in Ten, Twenty, or Thirty Years come
to an Issue.
    It is likewise to be observed, that this Society hath a peculiar Cant and
Jargon of their own, that no other Mortal can understand, and wherein all their
Laws are written, which they take special Care to multiply; whereby they have
wholly confounded the very Essence of Truth and falsehood, of Right and Wrong; so
that it will take Thirty Years to decide whether the Field, left me by my
Ancestors for six Generations, belong to me, or to a Stranger three Hundred
Miles off.
    In the Tryal of Persons accused for Crimes against the State, the Method is
much more short and commendable: The Judge first sends to sound the Disposition
of those in Power; after which he can easily hang or save the Criminal, strictly
preserving all the Forms of Law.
    Here my Master interposing, said it was a Pity, that Creatures endowed with
such prodigious Abilities of Mind as these Lawyers, by the Description I gave of
them must certainly be, were not rather encouraged to be Instructors of others
in Wisdom and Knowledge. In Answer to which, I assured his Honour, that in all
Points out of their own Trade, they were usually the most ignorant and stupid
Generation among us, the most despicable in common Conversation, avowed Enemies
to all Knowledge and Learning; and equally disposed to pervert the general
Reason of Mankind, in every other Subject of Discourse, as in that of their own
Profession.
 

                                   Chap. VI.

A Continuation of the State of England, under Queen Anne. The Character of a
first Minister in the Courts of Europe.
 
My Master was yet wholly at a Loss to understand what Motives could incite this
Race of Lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary themselves by engaging in a
Confederacy of Injustice, merely for the Sake of injuring their Fellow-Animals;
neither could he comprehend what I meant in saying they did it for Hire.
Whereupon I was at much Pains to describe to him the Use of Money, the Materials
it was made of, and the Value of the Metals: That when a Yahoo had got a great
Store of this precious Substance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a mind
to; the finest Cloathing, the noblest Houses, great Tracts of Land, the most
costly Meats and Drinks; and have his Choice of the most beautiful Females.
Therefore since Money alone, was able to perform all these Feats, our Yahoos
thought, they could never have enough of it to spend or to save, as they found
themselves inclined from their natural Bent either to Profusion or Avarice.
That, the rich Man enjoyed the Fruit of the poor Man's Labour, and the latter
were a Thousand to One in Proportion to the former. That the Bulk of our People
was forced to live miserably, by labouring every Day for small Wages to make a
few live plentifully. I enlarged myself much on these and many other Particulars
to the same Purpose: But his Honour was still to seek: For he went upon a
Supposition that all Animals had a Title to their Share in the Productions of
the Earth; and especially those who presided over the rest. Therefore he desired
I would let him know, what these costly Meats were, and how any of us happened
to want them. Whereupon I enumerated as many Sorts as came into my Head, with
the various Methods of dressing them, which could not be done without sending
Vessels by Sea to every Part of the World, as well for Liquors to drink, as for
Sauces, and innumerable other Conveniencies. I assured him, that this whole
Globe of Earth must be at least three Times gone round, before one of our better
Female Yahoos could get her Breakfast, or a Cup to put it in. He said, That must
needs be a miserable Country which cannot furnish Food for its own Inhabitants.
But what he chiefly wondered at, was how such vast Tracts of Ground as I
described, should be wholly without Fresh water, and the People put to the
Necessity of sending over the Sea for Drink. I replied, that England (the dear
Place of my Nativity) was computed to produce three Times the Quantity of Food,
more than its Inhabitants are able to consume, as well as Liquors extracted from
Grain, or pressed out of the Fruit of certain Trees, which made excellent Drink;
and the same Proportion in every other Convenience of Life. But, in order to
feed the Luxury and Intemperance of the Males, and the Vanity of the Females, we
sent away the greatest Part of our necessary Things to other Countries, from
whence in Return we brought the Materials of Diseases, Folly, and Vice, to spend
among ourselves. Hence it follows of Necessity, that vast Numbers of our People
are compelled to seek their Livelihood by Begging, Robbing, Stealing, Cheating,
Pimping, Forswearing, Flattering, Suborning, Forging, Gaming, Lying, Fawning,
Hectoring, Voting, Scribling, Stargazing, Poysoning, Whoring, Canting,
Libelling, Free-thinking, and the like Occupations: Every one of which Terms, I
was at much Pains to make him understand.
    That, Wine was not imported among us from foreign Countries, to supply the
Want of Water or other Drinks, but because it was a Sort of Liquid which made us
merry, by putting us out of our Senses; diverted all melancholy Thoughts, begat
wild extravagant Imaginations in the Brain, raised our Hopes, and banished our
Fears; suspended every Office of Reason for a Time, and deprived us of the Use
of our Limbs, until we fell into a profound Sleep; although it must be
confessed, that we always awake sick and dispirited; and that the Use of this
Liquor filled us with Diseases, which made our Lives uncomfortable and short.
    But beside all this, the Bulk of our People supported themselves by
furnishing the Necessities or Conveniencies of Life to the Rich, and to each
other. For Instance, when I am at home and dressed as I ought to be, I carry on
my Body the Workmanship of an Hundred Tradesmen; the Building and Furniture of
my House employ as many more; and five Times the Number to adorn my Wife.
    I was going on to tell him of another Sort of People, who get their
Livelihood by attending the Sick; having upon some Occasions informed his Honour
that many of my Crew had died of Diseases. But here it was with the utmost
Difficulty, that I brought him to apprehend what I meant. He could easily
conceive, that a Houyhnhnm grew weak and heavy a few Days before his Death; or
by some Accident might hurt a Limb. But that Nature, who worketh all things to
Perfection, should suffer any Pains to breed in our Bodies, he thought
impossible; and desired to know the Reason of so unaccountable an Evil. I told
him, we fed on a Thousand Things which operated contrary to each other; that we
eat when we were not hungry, and drank without the Provocation of Thirst: That
we sat whole Nights drinking strong Liquors without eating a Bit; which disposed
us to Sloth, enflamed our Bodies, and precipitated or prevented Digestion. That,
prostitute Female Yahoos acquired a certain Malady, which bred Rottenness in the
Bones of those, who fell into their Embraces: That this and many other Diseases,
were propagated from Father to Son; so that great Numbers come into the World
with complicated Maladies upon them: That, it would be endless to give him a
Catalogue of all Diseases incident to human Bodies; for they could not be fewer
than five or six Hundred, spread over every Limb, and Joynt: In short, every
Part, external and intestine, having Diseases appropriated to each. To remedy
which, there was a Sort of People bred up among us, in the Profession or
Pretence of curing the Sick. And because I had some Skill in the Faculty, I
would in Gratitude to his Honour, let him know the whole Mystery and Method by
which they proceed.
    Their Fundamental is, that all Diseases arise from Repletion; from whence
they conclude, that a great Evacuation of the Body is necessary, either through
the natural Passage, or upwards at the Mouth. Their next Business is, from
Herbs, Minerals, Gums, Oyls, Shells, Salts, Juices, Sea-weed, Excrements, Barks
of Trees, Serpents, Toads, Frogs, Spiders, dead Mens Flesh and Bones, Birds,
Beasts and Fishes, to form a Composition for Smell and Taste the most
abominable, nauseous and detestable, that they can possibly contrive, which the
Stomach immediately rejects with Loathing: And this they call a Vomit. Or else
from the same Store-house, with some other poysonous Additions, they command us
to take in at the Orifice above or below, (just as the Physician then happens to
be disposed) a Medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the Bowels; which
relaxing the Belly, drives down all before it: And this they call a Purge, or a
Clyster. For Nature (as the Physicians alledge) having intended the superior
anterior Orifice only for the Intromission of Solids and Liquids, and the
inferior Posterior for Ejection; these Artists ingeniously considering that in
all Diseases Nature is forced out of her Seat; therefore to replace her in it,
the Body must be treated in a Manner directly contrary, by interchanging the Use
of each Orifice; forcing Solids and Liquids in at the Anus, and making
Evacuations at the Mouth.
    But, besides real Diseases, we are subject to many that are only imaginary,
for which the Physicians have invented imaginary Cures; these have their several
Names, and so have the Drugs that are proper for them; and with these our Female
Yahoos are always infested.
    One great Excellency in this Tribe is their Skill at Prognosticks, wherein
they seldom fail; their Predictions in real Diseases, when they rise to any
Degree of Malignity, generally portending Death, which is always in their Power,
when Recovery is not: And therefore, upon any unexpected Signs of Amendment,
after they have pronounced their Sentence, rather than be accused as false
Prophets, they know how to approve their Sagacity to the World by a seasonable
Dose.
    They are likewise of special Use to Husbands and Wives, who are grown weary
of their Mates; to eldest Sons, to great Ministers of State, and often to
Princes.
    I had formerly upon Occasion discoursed with my Master upon the Nature of
Government in general, and particularly of our own excellent Constitution,
deservedly the Wonder and Envy of the whole World. But having here accidentally
mentioned a Minister of State; he commanded me some Time after to inform him,
what Species of Yahoo I particularly meant by that Appellation.
    I told him, that a First or Chief Minister of State, whom I intended to
describe, was a Creature wholly exempt from Joy and Grief, Love and Hatred, Pity
and Anger; at least makes use of no other Passions but a violent Desire of
Wealth, Power, and Titles: That he applies his Words to all Uses, except to the
Indication of his Mind; That he never tells a Truth, but with an Intent that you
should take it for a Lye; nor a Lye, but with a Design that you should take it
for a Truth; That those he speaks worst of behind their Backs, are in the surest
way to Preferment; and whenever he begins to praise you to others or to your
self, you are from that Day forlorn. The worst Mark you can receive is a
Promise, especially when it is confirmed with an Oath; after which every wise
Man retires, and gives over all Hopes.
    There are three Methods by which a Man may rise to be Chief Minister: The
first is, by knowing how with Prudence to dispose of a Wife, a Daughter, or a
Sister: The second, by betraying or undermining his Predecessor: And the third
is, by a furious Zeal in public Assemblies against the Corruptions of the
Court. But a wise Prince would rather choose to employ those who practise the
last of these Methods; because such Zealots prove always the most obsequious and
subservient to the Will and Passions of their Master. That, these Ministers
having all Employments at their Disposal, preserve themselves in Power by
bribing the Majority of a Senate or great Council; and at last by an Expedient
called an Act of Indemnity (whereof I described the Nature to him) they secure
themselves from After-reckonings, and retire from the Publick, laden with the
Spoils of the Nation.
    The Palace of a Chief Minister, is a Seminary to breed up others in his own
Trade: The Pages, Lacquies, and Porter, by imitating their Master, become
Ministers of State in their several Districts, and learn to excel in the three
principal Ingredients, of Insolence, Lying, and Bribery. Accordingly, they have
a Subaltern Court paid to them by Persons of the best Rank; and sometimes by the
Force of Dexterity and Impudence, arrive through several Gradations to be
Successors to their Lord.
    He is usually governed by a decayed Wench, or favourite Footman, who are the
Tunnels through which all Graces are conveyed, and may properly be called, in
the last Resort, the Governors of the Kingdom.
    One Day, my Master, having heard me mention the Nobility of my Country, was
pleased to make me a Compliment which I could not pretend to deserve: That, he
was sure, I must have been born of some Noble Family, because I far exceeded in
Shape, Colour, and Cleanliness, all the Yahoos of his Nation, although I seemed
to fail in Strength, and Agility, which must be imputed to my different Way of
Living from those other Brutes; and besides, I was not only endowed with the
Faculty of Speech, but likewise with some Rudiments of Reason, to a Degree, that
with all his Acquaintance I passed for a Prodigy.
    He made me observe, that among the Houyhnhnms, the White, the Sorrel, and
the Iron-grey, were not so exactly shaped as the Bay, the Dapple-grey, and the
Black; nor born with equal Talents of Mind, or a Capacity to improve them; and
therefore continued always in the Condition of Servants, without ever aspiring
to match out of their own Race, which in that Country would be reckoned
monstrous and unnatural.
    I made his Honour my most humble Acknowledgements for the good Opinion he
was pleased to conceive of me; but assured him at the same Time, that my Birth
was of the lower Sort, having been born of plain, honest Parents, who were just
able to give me a tolerable Education: That, Nobility among us was altogether a
different Thing from the Idea he had of it; That, our young Noblemen are bred
from their Childhood in Idleness and Luxury; that, as soon as Years will permit,
they consume their Vigour, and contract odious Diseases among lewd Females; and
when their Fortunes are almost ruined, they marry some Woman of mean Birth,
disagreeable Person, and unsound Constitution, merely for the sake of Money,
whom they hate and despise. That, the Productions of such Marriages are
generally scrophulous, rickety or deformed Children; by which Means the Family
seldom continues above three Generations, unless the Wife take Care to provide a
healthy Father among her Neighbours, or Domesticks, in order to improve and
continue the Breed. That, a weak diseased Body, a meagre Countenance, and sallow
Complexion, are the true Marks of noble Blood; and a healthy robust Appearance
is so disgraceful in a Man of Quality, that the World concludes his real Father
to have been a Groom or a Coachman. The Imperfections of his Mind run parallel
with those of his Body; being a Composition of Spleen, Dulness, Ignorance,
Caprice, Sensuality and Pride.
    Without the Consent of this illustrious Body, no Law can be enacted,
repealed, or altered: And these Nobles have likewise the Decision of all our
Possessions without Appeal.
 

                                   Chap. VII.

The Author's great Love of his Native Country. His Master's Observations upon
the Constitution and Administration of England, as described by the Author, with
parallel Cases and Comparisons. His Master's Observations upon human Nature.
 
The Reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on my self to give so
free a Representation of my own Species, among a Race of Mortals who were
already too apt to conceive the vilest Opinion of Human Kind, from that entire
Congruity betwixt me and their Yahoos. But I must freely confess, that the many
Virtues of those excellent Quadrupeds placed in opposite View to human
Corruptions, had so far opened mine Eyes, and enlarged my Understanding, that I
began to view the Actions and Passions of Man in a very different Light; and to
think the Honour of my own Kind not worth managing; which, besides, it was
impossible for me to do before a Person of so acute a judgement as my Master, who
daily convinced me of a thousand Faults in my self, whereof I had not the least
Perception before, and which with us would never be numbered even among human
Infirmities. I had likewise learned from his Example an utter Detestation of all
Falsehood or Disguise; and Truth appeared so amiable to me, that I determined
upon sacrificing every thing to it.
    Let me deal so candidly with the Reader, as to confess, that there was yet a
much stronger Motive for the Freedom I took in my Representation of Things. I
had not been a Year in this Country, before I contracted such a Love and
Veneration for the Inhabitants, that I entered on a firm Resolution never to
return to human Kind, but to pass the rest of my Life among these admirable
Houyhnhnms in the Contemplation and Practice of every Virtue; where I could have
no Example or Incitement to Vice. But it was decreed by Fortune, my perpetual
Enemy, that so great a Felicity should not fall to my Share. However, it is now
some Comfort to reflect, that in what I said of my Countrymen, I extenuated
their Faults as much as I durst before so strict an Examiner; and upon every
Article, gave as favourable a Turn as the Matter would bear. For, indeed, who is
there alive that will not be swayed by his Byass and Partiality to the Place of
his Birth?
    I have related the Substance of several Conversations I had with my Master,
during the greatest Part of the Time I had the Honour to be in his Service; but
have indeed for Brevity sake omitted much more than is here set down.
    When I had answered all his Questions, and his Curiosity seemed to be fully
satisfied; he sent for me one Morning early, and commanding me to sit down at
some Distance, (an Honour which he had never before conferred upon me) He said,
he had been very seriously considering my whole Story, as far as it related both
to my self and my Country: That, he looked upon us as a Sort of Animals to whose
Share, by what Accident he could not conjecture, some small Pittance of Reason
had fallen, whereof we made no other Use than by its Assistance to aggravate our
natural Corruptions, and to acquire new ones which Nature had not given us.
That, we disarmed our selves of the few Abilities she had bestowed; had been
very successful in multiplying our original Wants, and seemed to spend our whole
Lives in vain Endeavours to supply them by our own Inventions. That, as to my
self, it was manifest I had neither the Strength or Agility of a common Yahoo;
that I walked infirmly on my hinder Feet; had found out a Contrivance to make my
Claws of no Use or Defence, and to remove the Hair from my Chin, which was
intended as a Shelter from the Sun and the Weather. Lastly, That I could neither
run with Speed, nor climb Trees like my Brethren (as he called them) the Yahoos
in this Country.
    That, our Institutions of Government and Law were plainly owing to our gross
Defects in Reason, and by consequence, in Virtue; because Reason alone is
sufficient to govern a Rational Creature; which was therefore a Character we had
no Pretence to challenge, even from the Account I had given of my own People;
although he manifestly perceived, that in order to favour them, I had concealed
many Particulars, and often said the Thing which was not.
    He was the more confirmed in this Opinion, because he observed, that as I
agreed in every Feature of my Body with other Yahoos, except where it was to my
real Disadvantage in point of Strength, Speed and Activity, the Shortness of my
Claws, and some other Particulars where Nature had no Part; so, from the
Representation I had given him of our Lives, our Manners, and our Actions, he
found as near a Resemblance in the Disposition of our Minds. He said, the Yahoos
were known to hate one another more than they did any different Species of
Animals; and the Reason usually assigned, was, the Odiousness of their own
Shapes, which all could see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had therefore
begun to think it not unwise in us to cover our Bodies, and by that Invention,
conceal many of our Deformities from each other, which would else be hardly
supportable. But, he now found he had been mistaken; and that the Dissentions of
those Brutes in his Country were owing to the same Cause with ours, as I had
described them. For, if (said he) you throw among five Yahoos as much Food as
would be sufficient for fifty, they will, instead of eating peaceably, fall
together by the Ears, each single one impatient to have all to it self; and
therefore a Servant was usually employed to stand by while they were feeding
abroad, and those kept at home were tied at a Distance from each other. That, if
a Cow died of Age or Accident, before a Houynhnhnm could secure it for his own
Yahoos, those in the Neighbourhood would come in Herds to seize it, and then
would ensue such a Battle as I had described, with terrible Wounds made by their
Claws on both Sides, although they seldom were able to kill one another, for
want of such convenient Instruments of Death as we had invented. At other Times
the like Battles have been fought between the Yahoos of several Neighbourhoods
without any visible Cause: Those of one District watching all Opportunities to
surprise the next before they are prepared. But if they find their Project hath
miscarried, they return home, and for want of Enemies, engage in what I call a
Civil War among themselves.
    That, in some Fields of his Country, there are certain shining Stones of
several Colours, whereof the Yahoos are violently fond; and when Part of these
Stones are fixed in the Earth, as it sometimes happeneth, they will dig with
their Claws for whole Days to get them out, and carry them away, and hide them
by Heaps in their Kennels; but still looking round with great Caution, for fear
their Comrades should find out their Treasure. My Master said, he could never
discover the Reason of this unnatural Appetite, or how these Stones could be of
any Use to a Yahoo; but now he believed it might proceed from the same Principle
of Avarice, which I had ascribed to Mankind. That he had once, by way of
Experiment, privately removed a Heap of these Stones from the Place where one of
his Yahoos had buried it: Whereupon, the sordid Animal missing his Treasure, by
his loud lamenting brought the whole Herd to the Place, there miserably howled,
then fell to biting and tearing the rest; began to pine away, would neither eat
nor sleep, nor work, till he ordered a Servant privately to convey the Stones
into the same Hole, and hide them as before; which when his Yahoo had found, he
presently recovered his Spirits and good Humour; but took Care to remove them to
a better hiding Place; and hath ever since been a very serviceable Brute.
    My Master farther assured me, which I also observed my self; That in the
Fields where these shining Stones abound, the fiercest and most frequent Battles
are fought, occasioned by perpetual Inroads of the neighbouring Yahoos.
    He said, it was common when two Yahoos discovered such a Stone in a Field,
and were contending which of them should be the Proprietor, a third would take
the Advantage, and carry it away from them both; which my Master would needs
contend to have some Resemblance with our Suits at Law; wherein I thought it for
our Credit not to undeceive him; since the Decision he mentioned was much more
equitable than many Decrees among us: Because the Plaintiff and Defendant there
lost nothing beside the Stone they contended for; whereas our Courts of Equity,
would never have dismissed the Cause while either of them had any thing left.
    My Master continuing his Discourse, said, There was nothing that rendered
the Yahoos more odious, than their undistinguishing Appetite to devour every
thing that came in their Way, whether Herbs, Roots, Berries, corrupted Flesh of
Animals, or all mingled together: And it was peculiar in their Temper, that they
were fonder of what they could get by Rapine or Stealth at a greater Distance,
than much better Food provided for them at home. If their Prey held out, they
would eat till they were ready to burst, after which Nature had pointed out to
them a certain Root that gave them a general Evacuation.
    There was also another Kind of Root very juicy, but something rare and
difficult to be found, which the Yahoos sought for with much Eagerness, and
would suck it with great Delight: It produced the same Effects that Wine hath
upon us. It would make them sometimes hug, and sometimes tear one another; they
would howl and grin, and chatter, and reel, and tumble, and then fall asleep in
the Mud.
    I did indeed observe, that the Yahoos were the only Animals in this Country
subject to any Diseases; which however, were much fewer than Horses have among
us, and contracted not by any ill Treatment they meet with, but by the Nastiness
and Greediness of that sordid Brute. Neither has their Language any more than a
general Appellation for those Maladies; which is borrowed from the Name of the
Beast, and called Hnea Yahoo, or the Yahoo's-Evil; and the Cure prescribed is a
Mixture of their own Dung and Urine, forcibly put down the Yahoo's Throat. This
I have since often known to have been taken with Success: And do here freely
recommend it to my Countrymen, for the public Good, as an admirable Specifick
against all Diseases produced by Repletion.
    As to Learning, Government, Arts, Manufactures, and the like; my Master
confessed he could find little or no Resemblance between the Yahoos of that
Country and those in ours. For, he only meant to observe what Parity there was
in our Natures. He had heard indeed some curious Houyhnhnms observe, that in
most Herds there was a Sort of ruling Yahoo, (as among us there is generally
some leading or principal Stag in a Park) who was always more deformed in Body,
and mischievous in Disposition, than any of the rest. That, this Leader had
usually a Favourite as like himself as he could get, whose Employment was to
lick his Master's Feet and Posteriors, and drive the Female Yahoos to his
Kennel; for which he was now and then rewarded with a Piece of Ass's Flesh. This
Favourite is hated by the whole Herd; and therefore to protect himself, keeps
always near the Person of his Leader. He usually continues in Office till a
worse can be found; but the very Moment he is discarded, his Successor, at the
Head of all the Yahoos in that District, Young and Old, Male and Female, come in
a Body, and discharge their Excrements upon him from Head to Foot. But how far
this might be applicable to our Courts and Favourites, and Ministers of State,
my Master said I could best determine.
    I durst make no Return to this malicious Insinuation, which debased human
Understanding below the Sagacity of a common Hound, who hath judgement enough to
distinguish and follow the Cry of the ablest Dog in the Pack, without being ever
mistaken.
    My Master told me, there were some Qualities remarkable in the Yahoos, which
he had not observed me to mention, or at least very slightly, in the Accounts I
had given him of human Kind. He said, those Animals, like other Brutes, had
their Females in common; but in this they differed, that the She-Yahoo would
admit the Male, while she was pregnant; and that the Hees would quarrel and
fight with the Females as fiercely as with each other. Both which Practices were
such Degrees of infamous Brutality, that no other sensitive Creature ever
arrived at.
    Another Thing he wondered at in the Yahoos, was their strange Disposition to
Nastiness and Dirt; whereas there appears to be a natural Love of Cleanliness in
all other Animals. As to the two former Accusations, I was glad to let them pass
without any Reply, because I had not a Word to offer upon them in Defence of my
Species, which otherwise I certainly had done from my own Inclinations. But I
could have easily vindicated human Kind from the Imputation of Singularity upon
the last Article, if there had been any Swine in that Country, (as unluckily for
me there were not) which although it may be a sweeter Quadruped than a Yahoo,
cannot I humbly conceive in Justice pretend to more Cleanliness; and so his
Honour himself must have owned, if he had seen their filthy Way of feeding, and
their Custom of wallowing and sleeping in the Mud.
    My Master likewise mentioned another Quality, which his Servants had
discovered in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly unaccountable. He said, a
Fancy would sometimes take a Yahoo, to retire into a Corner, to lie down and
howl, and groan, and spurn away all that came near him, although he were young
and fat, and wanted neither Food nor Water; nor did the Servants imagine what
could possibly ail him. And the only Remedy they found was to set him to hard
Work, after which he would infallibly come to himself. To this I was silent out
of Partiality to my own Kind; yet here I could plainly discover the true Seeds
of Spleen, which only seizeth on the Lazy, the Luxurious, and the Rich, who, if
they were forced to undergo the same Regimen, I would undertake for the Cure.
    His Honour had farther observed, that a Female Yahoo would often stand
behind a Bank or a Bush, to gaze on the young Males passing by, and then appear,
and hide, using many antick Gestures and Grimaces; at which time it was
observed, that she had a most offensive Smell; and when any of the Males
advanced, would slowly retire, looking often back, and with a counterfeit Shew
of Fear, run off into some convenient Place where she knew the Male would follow
her.
    At other times, if a Female Stranger came among them, three or four of her
own Sex would get about her, and stare and chatter, and grin, and smell her all
over; and then turn off with Gestures that seemed to express Contempt and
Disdain.
    Perhaps my Master might refine a little in these Speculations, which he had
drawn from what he observed himself, or had been told him by others: However, I
could not reflect without some Amazement, and much Sorrow, that the Rudiments of
Lewdness, Coquetry, Censure, and Scandal, should have Place by Instinct in
Womankind.
    I expected every Moment, that my Master would accuse the Yahoos of those
unnatural Appetites in both Sexes, so common among us. But Nature it seems hath
not been so expert a Schoolmistress; and these politer Pleasures are entirely
the Productions of Art and Reason, on our Side of the Globe.
 

                                  Chap. VIII.

The Author relateth several Particulars of the Yahoos. The great Virtues of the
Houyhnhnms. The Education and Exercise of their Youth. Their general Assembly.
 
As I ought to have understood human Nature much better than I supposed it
possible for my Master to do, so it was easy to apply the Character he gave of
the Yahoos to myself and my Countrymen; and I believed I could yet make farther
Discoveries from my own Observation. I therefore often begged his Honour to let
me go among the Herds of Yahoos in the Neighbourhood; to which he always very
graciously consented, being perfectly convinced that the Hatred I bore those
Brutes would never suffer me to be corrupted by them; and his Honour ordered one
of his Servants, a strong Sorrel Nag, very honest and good-natured, to be my
Guard; without whose Protection I durst not undertake such Adventures. For I
have already told the Reader how much I was pestered by those odious Animals
upon my first Arrival. I afterwards failed very narrowly three or four times of
falling into their Clutches, when I happened to stray at any Distance without my
Hanger. And I have Reason to believe, they had some Imagination that I was of
their own Species, which I often assisted myself, by stripping up my Sleeves,
and showing my naked Arms and Breast in their Sight, when my Protector was with
me: At which times they would approach as near as they durst, and imitate my
Actions after the Manner of Monkeys, but ever with great Signs of Hatred; as a
tame Jack Daw with Cap and Stockings, is always persecuted by the wild ones,
when he happens to be got among them.
    They are prodigiously nimble from their Infancy; however, I once caught a
young Male of three Years old, and endeavoured by all Marks of Tenderness to
make it quiet; but the little Imp fell a squalling, and scratching, and biting
with such Violence, that I was forced to let it go; and it was high time, for a
whole Troop of old ones came about us at the Noise; but finding the Cub was
safe, (for away it ran) and my Sorrel Nag being by, they durst not venture near
us. I observed the young Animal's Flesh to smell very rank, and the Stink was
somewhat between a Weasel and a Fox, but much more disagreeable. I forgot
another Circumstance, (and perhaps I might have the Reader's Pardon, if it were
wholly omitted) that while I held the odious Vermin in my Hands, it voided its
filthy Excrements of a yellow liquid Substance, all over my clothes; but by good
Fortune there was a small Brook hard by, where I washed myself as clean as I
could; although I durst not come into my Master's Presence, until I were
sufficiently aired.
    By what I could discover, the Yahoos appear to be the most unteachable of
all Animals, their Capacities never reaching higher than to draw or carry
Burthens. Yet I am of Opinion, this Defect ariseth chiefly from a perverse,
restive Disposition. For they are cunning, malicious, treacherous and
revengeful. They are strong and hardy, but of a cowardly Spirit, and by
Consequence insolent, abject, and cruel. It is observed, that the Red-haired of
both Sexes are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet they much
exceed in Strength and Activity.
    The Houyhnhnms keep the Yahoos for present Use in Huts not far from the
House; but the rest are sent abroad to certain Fields, where they dig up Roots,
eat several Kinds of Herbs, and search about for Carrion, or sometimes catch
Weasels and Luhimuhs (a Sort of wild Rat) which they greedily devour. Nature
hath taught them to dig deep Holes with their Nails on the Side of a rising
Ground, wherein they lie by themselves; only the Kennels of the Females are
larger, sufficient to hold two or three Cubs.
    They swim from their Infancy like Frogs, and are able to continue long under
Water, where they often take Fish, which the Females carry home to their Young.
And upon this Occasion, I hope the Reader will pardon my relating an odd
Adventure.
    Being one Day abroad with my Protector the Sorrel Nag, and the Weather
exceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe in a River that was near. He
consented, and I immediately stripped myself stark naked, and went down softly
into the Stream. It happened that a young Female Yahoo standing behind a Bank,
saw the whole Proceeding; and inflamed by Desire, as the Nag and I conjectured,
came running with all Speed, and leaped into the Water within five Yards of the
Place where I bathed. I was never in my Life so terribly frighted; the Nag was
grazing at some Distance, not suspecting any Harm: She embraced me after a most
fulsome Manner; I roared as loud as I could, and the Nag came galloping towards
me, whereupon she quitted her Grasp, with the utmost Reluctancy, and leaped upon
the opposite Bank, where she stood gazing and howling all the time I was putting
on my clothes.
    This was Matter of Diversion to my Master and his Family, as well as of
Mortification to my self. For now I could no longer deny, that I was a real
Yahoo, in every Limb and Feature, since the Females had a natural Propensity to
me as one of their own Species: Neither was the Hair of this Brute of a Red
Colour, (which might have been some Excuse for an Appetite a little irregular)
but black as a Sloe, and her Countenance did not make an Appearance altogether
so hideous as the rest of the Kind; for, I think, she could not be above Eleven
Years old.
    Having already lived three Years in this Country, the Reader I suppose will
expect, that I should, like other Travellers, give him some Account of the
Manners and Customs of its Inhabitants, which it was indeed my principal Study
to learn.
    As these noble Houyhnhnms are endowed by Nature with a general Disposition
to all Virtues, and have no Conceptions or Ideas of what is evil in a rational
Creature; so their grand Maxim is, to cultivate Reason, and to be wholly
governed by it. Neither is Reason among them a Point problematical as with us,
where Men can argue with Plausibility on both Sides of a Question; but strikes
you with immediate Conviction; as it must needs do where it is not mingled,
obscured, or discoloured by Passion and Interest. I remember it was with extreme
Difficulty that I could bring my Master to understand the Meaning of the Word
Opinion, or how a Point could be disputable; because Reason taught us to affirm
or deny only where we are certain; and beyond our Knowledge we cannot do either.
So that Controversies, Wranglings, Disputes, and Positiveness in false or
dubious Propositions, are Evils unknown among the Houyhnhnms. In the like Manner
when I used to explain to him our several Systems of Natural Philosophy, he
would laugh that a Creature pretending to Reason, should value itself upon the
Knowledge of other Peoples Conjectures, and in Things, where that Knowledge, if
it were certain, could be of no Use. Wherein he agreed entirely with the
Sentiments of Socrates, as Plato delivers them; which I mention as the highest
Honour I can do that Prince of Philosophers. I have often since reflected what
Destruction such a Doctrine would make in the Libraries of Europe; and how many
Paths to Fame would be then shut up in the Learned World.
    Friendship and Benevolence are the two principal Virtues among the
Houyhnhnms; and these not confined to particular Objects, but universal to the
whole Race. For, a Stranger from the remotest Part, is equally treated with the
nearest Neighbour, and where-ever he goes, looks upon himself as at home. They
preserve Decency and Civility in the highest Degrees, but are altogether
ignorant of Ceremony. They have no Fondness for their Colts or Foles; but the
Care they take in educating them proceedeth entirely from the Dictates of
Reason. And, I observed my Master to show the same Affection to his Neighbour's
Issue that he had for his own. They will have it that Nature teaches them to
love the whole Species, and it is Reason only that maketh a Distinction of
Persons, where there is a superior Degree of Virtue.
    When the Matron Houyhnhnms have produced one of each Sex, they no longer
accompany with their Consorts, except they lose one of their Issue by some
Casualty, which very seldom happens: But in such a Case they meet again; or when
the like Accident befalls a Person, whose Wife is past bearing, some other
Couple bestows on him one of their own Colts, and then go together a second
Time, until the Mother be pregnant. This Caution is necessary to prevent the
Country from being over-burdened with Numbers. But the Race of inferior
Houyhnhnms bred up to be Servants is not so strictly limited upon this Article;
these are allowed to produce three of each Sex, to be Domesticks in the Noble
Families.
    In their Marriages they are exactly careful to choose such Colours as will
not make any disagreeable Mixture in the Breed. Strength is chiefly valued in
the Male, and Comeliness in the Female; not upon the Account of Love, but to
preserve the Race from degenerating: For, where a Female happens to excel in
Strength, a Consort is chosen with regard to Comeliness. Courtship, Love,
Presents, Joyntures, Settlements, have no Place in their Thoughts; or Terms
whereby to express them in their Language. The young Couple meet and are joined,
merely because it is the Determination of their Parents and Friends: It is what
they see done every Day; and they look upon it as one of the necessary Actions
in a reasonable Being. But the Violation of Marriage, or any other Unchastity,
was never heard of: And the married Pair pass their Lives with the same
Friendship, and mutual Benevolence that they bear to all others of the same
Species, who come in their Way; without Jealousy, Fondness, Quarrelling, or
Discontent.
    In educating the Youth of both Sexes, their Method is admirable, and highly
deserveth our Imitation. These are not suffered to taste a Grain of Oats, except
upon certain Days, till Eighteen Years old; nor Milk, but very rarely; and in
Summer they graze two Hours in the Morning, and as many in the Evening, which
their Parents likewise observe; but the Servants are not allowed above half that
Time; and a great Part of their Grass is brought home, which they eat at the
most convenient Hours, when they can be best spared from Work.
    Temperance, Industry, Exercise and Cleanliness, are the Lessons equally
enjoyned to the young ones of both Sexes: And my Master thought it monstrous in
us to give the Females a different Kind of Education from the Males, except in
some Articles of Domestick Management; whereby, as he truly observed, one Half
of our Natives were good for nothing but bringing Children into the World: And
to trust the Care of their Children to such useless Animals, he said was yet a
greater Instance of Brutality.
    But the Houyhnhnms train up their Youth to Strength, Speed, and Hardiness,
by exercising them in running Races up and down steep Hills, or over hard stony
Grounds; and when they are all in a Sweat, they are ordered to leap over Head
and Ears into a Pond or a River. Four times a Year the Youth of certain
Districts meet to show their Proficiency in Running, and Leaping, and other
Feats of Strength or Agility; where the Victor is rewarded with a Song made in
his or her Praise. On this Festival the Servants drive a Herd of Yahoos into the
Field, laden with Hay, and Oats, and Milk for a Repast to the Houyhnhnms; after
which, these Brutes are immediately driven back again, for fear of being noisome
to the Assembly.
    Every fourth Year, at the Vernal Equinox, there is a Representative Council
of the whole Nation, which meets in a Plain about twenty Miles from our House,
and continueth about five or six Days. Here they inquire into the State and
Condition of the several Districts; whether they abound or be deficient in Hay
or Oats, or Cows or Yahoos? And where-ever there is any Want (which is but
seldom) it is immediately supplied by unanimous Consent and Contribution. Here
likewise the Regulation of Children is settled: As for instance, if a Houyhnhnm
hath two Males, he changeth one of them with another who hath two Females: And
when a Child hath been lost by any Casualty, where the Mother is past Breeding,
it is determined what Family shall breed another to supply the Loss.
 

                                   Chap. IX.

A grand Debate at the General Assembly of the Houyhnhnms; and how it was
determined. The Learning of the Houyhnhnms. Their Buildings. Their Manner of
Burials. The Defectiveness of their Language.
 
One of these Grand Assemblies was held in my time, about three Months before my
Departure, whither my Master went as the Representative of our District. In this
Council was resumed their old Debate, and indeed, the only Debate that ever
happened in their Country; whereof my Master after his Return gave me a very
particular Account.
    The Question to be debated was, Whether the Yahoos should be exterminated
from the Face of the Earth. One of the Members for the Affirmative offered
several Arguments of great Strength and Weight; alleging, That, as the Yahoos
were the most filthy, noisome, and deformed Animal which Nature ever produced,
so they were the most restive and indocible, mischievous and malicious: They
would privately suck the Teats of the Houyhnhnms Cows; kill and devour their
Cats, trample down their Oats and Grass, if they were not continually watched;
and commit a Thousand other Extravagancies. He took Notice of a general
Tradition, that Yahoos had not been always in their Country: But, that many Ages
ago, two of these Brutes appeared together upon a Mountain; whether produced by
the Heat of the Sun upon corrupted Mud and Slime, or from the Ooze and Froth of
the Sea, was never known. That these Yahoos engendered, and their Brood in a
short time grew so numerous as to over-run and infest the whole Nation. That the
Houyhnhnms to get rid of this Evil, made a general Hunting, and at last enclosed
the whole Herd; and destroying the Older, every Houyhnhnm kept two young Ones in
a Kennel, and brought them to such a Degree of Tameness, as an Animal so savage
by Nature can be capable of acquiring; using them for Draught and Carriage.
That, there seemed to be much Truth in this Tradition, and that those Creatures
could not be Ylnhniamshy (or Aborigines of the Land) because of the violent
Hatred the Houyhnhnms as well as all other Animals, bore them; which although
their evil Disposition sufficiently deserved, could never have arrived at so
high a Degree, if they had been Aborigines, or else they would have long since
been rooted out. That, the Inhabitants taking a Fancy to use the Service of the
Yahoos, had very imprudently neglected to cultivate the Breed of Asses, which
were a comely Animal, easily kept, more tame and orderly, without any offensive
Smell, strong enough for Labour, although they yield to the other in Agility of
Body; and if their Braying be no agreeable Sound, it is far preferable to the
horrible Howlings of the Yahoos.
    Several others declared their Sentiments to the same Purpose; when my Master
proposed an Expedient to the Assembly, whereof he had indeed borrowed the Hint
from me. He approved of the Tradition, mentioned by the Honourable Member, who
spoke before; and affirmed, that the two Yahoos said to be first seen among
them, had been driven thither over the Sea; that coming to Land, and being
forsaken by their Companions, they retired to the Mountains, and degenerating by
Degrees, became in Process of Time, much more savage than those of their own
Species in the Country from whence these two Originals came. The Reason of his
Assertion was, that he had now in his Possession, a certain wonderful Yahoo,
(meaning myself) which most of them had heard of, and many of them had seen. He
then related to them, how he first found me; that, my Body was all covered with
an artificial Composure of the Skins and Hairs of other Animals: That, I spoke
in a Language of my own, and had thoroughly learned theirs: That, I had related
to him the Accidents which brought me thither: That, when he saw me without my
Covering, I was an exact Yahoo in every Part, only of a whiter Colour, less
hairy, and with shorter Claws. He added, how I had endeavoured to persuade him,
that in my own and other Countries the Yahoos acted as the governing, rational
Animal, and held the Houyhnhnms in Servitude: That, he observed in me all the
Qualities of a Yahoo, only a little more civilized by some Tincture of Reason;
which however was in a Degree as far inferior to the Houyhnhnm Race, as the
Yahoos of their Country were to me: That, among other things, I mentioned a
Custom we had of castrating Houyhnhnms when they were young, in order to render
them tame; that the Operation was easy and safe; that it was no Shame to learn
Wisdom from Brutes, as Industry is taught by the Ant, and Building by the
Swallow. (For so I translate the Word Lyhannh, although it be a much larger
Fowl) That, this Invention might be practised upon the younger Yahoos here,
which, besides rendering them tractable and fitter for Use, would in an Age put
an End to the whole Species without destroying Life. That, in the mean time the
Houyhnhnms should be exhorted to cultivate the Breed of Asses, which, as they
are in all respects more valuable Brutes; so they have this Advantage, to be fit
for Service at five Years old, which the others are not till Twelve.
    This was all my Master thought fit to tell me at that Time, of what passed
in the Grand Council. But he was pleased to conceal one Particular, which
related personally to myself, whereof I soon felt the unhappy Effect, as the
Reader will know in its proper Place, and from whence I date all the succeeding
Misfortunes of my Life.
    The Houyhnhnms have no Letters, and consequently, their Knowledge is all
traditional. But there happening few Events of any Moment among a People so well
united, naturally disposed to every Virtue, wholly governed by Reason, and cut
off from all Commerce with other Nations; the historical Part is easily
preserved without burthening their Memories. I have already observed, that they
are subject to no Diseases, and therefore can have no Need of Physicians.
However, they have excellent Medicines composed of Herbs, to cure accidental
Bruises and Cuts in the Pastern or Frog of the Foot by sharp Stones, as well as
other Maims and Hurts in the several Parts of the Body.
    They calculate the Year by the Revolution of the Sun and the Moon, but use
no Subdivisions into Weeks. They are well enough acquainted with the Motions of
those two Luminaries, and understand the Nature of Eclipses; and tills is the
utmost Progress of their Astronomy.
    In Poetry they must be allowed to excel all other Mortals; wherein the
Justness of their Similes, and the Minuteness, as well as Exactness of their
Descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their Verses abound very much in both of
these; and usually contain either some exalted Notions of Friendship and
Benevolence, or the Praises of those who were Victors in Races, and other bodily
Exercises. Their Buildings, although very rude and simple, are not inconvenient,
but well contrived to defend them from all Injuries of Cold and Heat. They have
a Kind of Tree, which at Forty Years old loosens in the Root, and falls with the
first Storm; it grows very strait, and being pointed like Stakes with a sharp
Stone, (for the Houyhnhnms know not the Use of Iron) they stick them erect in
the Ground about ten Inches asunder, and then weave in Oat-straw, or sometimes
Wattles betwixt them. The Roof is made after the same Manner, and so are the
Doors.
    The Houyhnhnms use the hollow Part between the Pastern and the Hoof of their
Fore-feet, as we do our Hands, and this with greater Dexterity, than I could at
first imagine. I have seen a white Mare of our Family thread a Needle (which I
lent her on Purpose) with that Joynt. They milk their Cows, reap their Oats, and
do all the Work which requires Hands, in the same Manner. They have a Kind of
hard Flints, which by grinding against other Stones, they form into Instruments,
that serve instead of Wedges, Axes, and Hammers. With Tools made of these
Flints, they likewise cut their Hay, and reap their Oats, which there groweth
naturally in several Fields: The Yahoos draw home the Sheaves in Carriages, and
the Servants tread them in certain covered Hurts, to get out the Grain, which is
kept in Stores. They make a rude Kind of earthen and wooden Vessels, and bake
the former in the Sun.
    If they can avoid Casualties, they die only of old Age, and are buried in
the obscurest Places that can be found, their Friends and Relations expressing
neither Joy nor Grief at their Departure; nor does the dying Person discover the
least Regret that he is leaving the World, any more than if he were upon
returning home from a Visit to one of his Neighbours: I remember, my Master
having once made an Appointment with a Friend and his Family to come to his
House upon some Affair of Importance; on the Day fixed, the Mistress and her two
Children came very late; she made two Excuses, first for her Husband, who, as
she said, happened that very Morning to Lhnuwnh. The Word is strongly expressive
in their Language, but not easily rendered into English; it signifies, to retire
to his first Mother. Her Excuse for not coming sooner, was, that her Husband
dying late in the Morning, she was a good while consulting her Servants about a
convenient Place where his Body should be laid; and I observed she behaved
herself at our House, as cheerfully as the rest: She died about three Months
after.
    They live generally to Seventy or Seventy-five Years, very seldom to
Fourscore: Some Weeks before their Death they feel a gradual Decay, but without
Pain. During this time they are much visited by their Friends, because they
cannot go abroad with their usual Ease and Satisfaction. However, about ten Days
before their Death, which they seldom fail in computing, they return the Visits
that have been made them by those who are nearest in the Neighbourhood, being
carried in a convenient Sledge drawn by Yahoos; which Vehicle they use, not only
upon this Occasion, but when they grow old, upon long Journeys, or when they are
lamed by any Accident. And therefore when the dying Houyhnhnms return those
Visits, they take a solemn Leave of their Friends, as if they were going to some
remote Part of the Country, where they designed to pass the rest of their Lives.
    I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the Houyhnhnms have no
Word in their Language to express any thing that is evil, except what they
borrow from the Deformities or ill Qualities of the Yahoos. Thus they denote the
Folly of a Servant, an Omission of a Child, a Stone that cuts their Feet, a
Continuance of foul or unseasonable Weather, and the like, by adding to each the
Epithet of Yahoo. For Instance, Hhnm Yahoo, Whnaholm Yahoo, Ynlhmnawihlma Yahoo,
and an ill contrived House, Ynholmhnmrohlnw Yahoo.
    I could with great Pleasure enlarge farther upon the Manners and Virtues of
this excellent People; but intending in a short time to publish a Volume by
itself expressly upon that Subject, I refer the Reader thither. And in the mean
time, proceed to relate my own sad Catastrophe.
 

                                    Chap. X.

The Author's Oeconomy and happy Life among the Houyhnhnms. His great Improvement
in Virtue, by conversing with them. Their Conversations. The Author hath Notice
given him by his Master that he must depart from the Country. He falls into a
Swoon for Grief, but submits. He contrives and finishes a Canoo, by the Help of
a fellow-Servant, and puts to Sea at a Venture.
 
I had settled my little Oeconomy to my own Heart's Content. My Master had
ordered a Room to be made for me after their Manner, about six Yards from the
House; the Sides and Floors of which I plaistered with Clay, and covered with
Rush-mats of my own contriving: I had beaten Hemp, which there grows wild, and
made of it a Sort of Ticking: This I filled with the Feathers of several Birds I
had taken with Springes made of Yahoos Hairs; and were excellent Food. I had
worked two Chairs with my Knife, the Sorrel Nag helping me in the grosser and
more laborious Part. When my clothes were worn to Rags, I made my self others
with the Skins of Rabbets, and of a certain beautiful Animal about the same
Size, called Nnuhnoh, the Skin of which is covered with a fine Down. Of these I
likewise made very tolerable Stockings. I soaled my Shoes with Wood which I cut
from a Tree, and fitted to the upper Leather, and when this was worn out, I
supplied it with the Skins of Yahoos, dried in the Sun. I often got Honey out of
hollow Trees, which I mingled with Water, or eat it with my Bread. No Man could
more verify the Truth of these two Maxims, That, Nature is very easily
satisfied; and, That, Necessity is the Mother of Invention. I enjoyed perfect
Health of Body, and Tranquility of Mind; I did not feel the Treachery or
Inconstancy of a Friend, nor the Injuries of a secret or open Enemy. I had no
Occasion of bribing, flattering or pimping, to procure the Favour of any great
Man, or of his Minion. I wanted no Fence against Fraud or Oppression: Here was
neither Physician to destroy my Body, nor Lawyer to ruin my Fortune: No Informer
to watch my Words and Actions, or forge Accusations against me for Hire: Here
were no Gibers, Censurers, Backbiters, Pickpockets, Highwaymen, House-breakers,
Attorneys, Bawds, Buffoons, Gamesters, Politicians, Wits, Spleneticks, tedious
Talkers, Controvertists, Ravishers, Murderers, Robbers, Virtuoso's; no Leaders
or Followers of Party and Faction; no Encouragers to Vice, by Seducement or
Examples: No Dungeon, Axes, Gibbets, Whipping-posts, or Pillories; No cheating
Shopkeepers or Mechanicks: No Pride, Vanity or Affectation: No Fops, Bullies,
Drunkards, strolling Whores, or Poxes: No ranting, lewd, expensive Wives: No
stupid, proud Pedants: No importunate, over-bearing, quarrelsome, noisy,
roaring, empty, conceited, swearing Companions: No Scoundrels raised from the
Dust upon the Merit of their Vices; or Nobility thrown into it on account of
their Virtues: No Lords, Fidlers, Judges or Dancing-masters.
    I had the Favour of being admitted to several Houyhnhnms, who came to visit
or dine with my Master; where his Honour graciously suffered me to wait in the
Room, and listen to their Discourse. Both he and his Company would often descend
to ask me Questions, and receive my Answers. I had also sometimes the Honour of
attending my Master in his Visits to others. I never presumed to speak, except
in answer to a Question; and then I did it with inward Regret, because it was a
Loss of so much Time for improving my self: But I was infinitely delighted with
the Station of an humble Auditor in such Conversations, where nothing passed but
what was useful, expressed in the fewest and most significant Words: Where (as I
have already said) the greatest Decency was observed, without the least Degree
of Ceremony; where no Person spoke without being pleased himself, and pleasing
his Companions: Where there was no Interruption, Tediousness, Heat, or
Difference of Sentiments. They have a Notion, That when People are met together,
a short Silence doth much improve Conversation: This I found to be true; for
during those little Intermissions of Talk, new Ideas would arise in their Minds,
which very much enlivened the Discourse. Their Subjects are generally on
Friendship and Benevolence; on Order and Oeconomy; sometimes upon the visible
Operations of Nature, or ancient Traditions; upon the Bounds and Limits of
Virtue; upon the unerring Rules of Reason; or upon some Determinations, to be
taken at the next great Assembly; and often upon the various Excellencies of
Poetry. I may add, without Vanity, that my Presence often gave them sufficient
Matter for Discourse, because it afforded my Master an Occasion of letting his
Friends into the History of me and my Country, upon which they were all pleased
to discant in a Manner not very advantageous to human Kind; and for that Reason
I shall not repeat what they said: Only I may be allowed to observe, That his
Honour, to my great Admiration, appeared to understand the Nature of Yahoos much
better than my self. He went through all our Vices and Follies, and discovered
many which I had never mentioned to him; by only supposing what Qualities a
Yahoo of their Country, with a small Proportion of Reason, might be capable of
exerting: And concluded, with too much Probability, how vile as well as
miserable such a Creature must be.
    I freely confess, that all the little Knowledge I have of any Value, was
acquired by the Lectures I received from my Master, and from hearing the
Discourses of him and his Friends; to which I should be prouder to listen, than
to dictate to the greatest and wisest Assembly in Europe. I admired the
Strength, Comeliness and Speed of the Inhabitants; and such a Constellation of
Virtues in such amiable Persons produced in me the highest Veneration. At first,
indeed, I did not feel that natural Awe which the Yahoos and all other Animals
bear towards them; but it grew upon me by Degrees, much sooner than I imagined,
and was mingled with a respectful Love and Gratitude, that they would condescend
to distinguish me from the rest of my Species.
    When I thought of my Family, my Friends, my Countrymen, or human Race in
general, I considered them as they really were, Yahoos in Shape and Disposition,
perhaps a little more civilized, and qualified with the Gift of Speech; but
making no other Use of Reason, than to improve and multiply those Vices, whereof
their Brethren in this Country had only the Share that Nature allotted them.
When I happened to behold the Reflection of my own Form in a Lake or Fountain, I
turned away my Face in Horror and detestation of my self; and could better
endure the Sight of a common Yahoo, than of my own Person. By conversing with
the Houyhnhnms, and looking upon them with Delight, I fell to imitate their Gait
and Gesture, which is now grown into a Habit; and my Friends often tell me in a
blunt Way, that I trot like a Horse; which, however, I take for a great
Compliment: Neither shall I disown, that in speaking I am apt to fall into the
Voice and manner of the Houyhnhnms, and hear my self ridiculed on that Account
without the least Mortification.
    In the Midst of this Happiness, when I looked upon my self to be fully
settled for Life, my Master sent for me one Morning a little earlier than his
usual Hour. I observed by his Countenance that he was in some Perplexity, and at
a Loss how to begin what he had to speak. After a short Silence, he told me, he
did not know how I would take what he was going to say: That, in the last
general Assembly, when the Affair of the Yahoos was entered upon, the
Representatives had taken Offence at his keeping a Yahoo (meaning my self) in
his Family more like a Houyhnhnm than a Brute Animal. That, he was known
frequently to converse with me, as if he could receive some Advantage or
Pleasure in my Company: That, such a Practice was not agreeable to Reason or
Nature, nor a thing ever heard of before among them. The Assembly did therefore
exhort him, either to employ me like the rest of my Species, or command me to
swim back to the Place from whence I came. That, the first of these Expedients
was utterly rejected by all the Houyhnhnms, who had ever seen me at his House or
their own: For, they alleged, That because I had some Rudiments of Reason,
added to the natural Pravity of those Animals, it was to be feared, I might be
able to seduce them into the woody and mountainous Parts of the Country, and
bring them in Troops by Night to destroy the Houyhnhnms Cattle, as being
naturally of the ravenous Kind, and averse from Labour.
    My Master added, That he was daily pressed by the Houyhnhnms of the
Neighbourhood to have the Assembly's Exhortation executed, which he could not
put off much longer. He doubted, it would be impossible for me to swim to
another Country; and therefore wished I would contrive some Sort of Vehicle
resembling those I had described to him, that might carry me on the Sea; in
which Work I should have the Assistance of his own Servants, as well as those of
his Neighbours. He concluded, that for his own Part he could have been content
to keep me in his Service as long as I lived; because he found I had cured
myself of some bad Habits and Dispositions, by endeavouring, as far as my
inferior Nature was capable, to imitate the Houyhnhnms.
    I should here observe to the Reader, that a Decree of the general Assembly
in this Country, is expressed by the Word Hnhloayn, which signifies an
Exhortation; as near as I can render it: For they have no Conception how a
rational Creature can be compelled, but only advised, or exhorted; because no
Person can disobey Reason, without giving up his Claim to be a rational
Creature.
    I was struck with the utmost Grief and Despair at my Master's Discourse; and
being unable to support the Agonies I was under, I fell into a Swoon at his
Feet: When I came to myself, he told me, that he concluded I had been dead. (For
these People are subject to no such Imbecillities of Nature) I answered, in a
faint Voice, that Death would have been too great an Happiness; that although I
could not blame the Assembly's Exhortation, or the Urgency of his Friends; yet
in my weak and corrupt judgement, I thought it might consist with Reason to have
been less rigorous. That, I could not swim a League, and probably the nearest
Land to theirs might be distant above an Hundred: That, many Materials,
necessary for making a small Vessel to carry me off, were wholly wanting in this
Country, which however, I would attempt in Obedience and Gratitude to his
Honour, although I concluded the thing to be impossible, and therefore looked on
myself as already devoted to Destruction. That, the certain Prospect of an
unnatural Death, was the least of my Evils: For, supposing I should escape with
Life by some strange Adventure, how could I think with Temper, of passing my
Days among Yahoos, and relapsing into my old Corruptions, for want of Examples
to lead and keep me within the Paths of Virtue. That, I knew too well upon what
solid Reasons all the Determinations of the wise Houyhnhnms were founded, not to
be shaken by Arguments of mine, a miserable Yahoo; and therefore after
presenting him with my humble Thanks for the Offer of his Servants Assistance in
making a Vessel, and desiring a reasonable Time for so difficult a Work, I told
him, I would endeavour to preserve a wretched Being; and, if ever I returned to
England, was not without Hopes of being useful to my own Species, by celebrating
the Praises of the renowned Houyhnhnms, and proposing their Virtues to the
Imitation of Mankind.
    My Master in a few Words made me a very gracious Reply, allowed me the Space
of two Months to finish my Boat; and ordered the Sorrel Nag, my Fellow-Servant,
(for so at this Distance I may presume to call him) to follow my Instructions,
because I told my Master, that his Help would be sufficient, and I knew he had a
Tenderness for me.
    In his Company my first Business was to go to that Part of the Coast, where
my rebellious Crew had ordered me to be set on Shore. I got upon a Height, and
looking on every Side into the Sea, fancied I saw a small Island, towards the
North-East: I took out my Pocket-glass, and could then clearly distinguish it
about five Leagues off, as I computed; but it appeared to the Sorrel Nag to be
only a blue Cloud: For, as he had no Conception of any Country beside his own,
so he could not be as expert in distinguishing remote Objects at Sea, as we who
so much converse in that Element.
    After I had discovered this Island, I considered no farther; but resolved,
it should, if possible, be the first Place of my Banishment, leaving the
Consequence to Fortune.
    I returned home, and consulting with the Sorrel Nag, we went into a Copse at
some Distance, where I with my Knife, and he with a sharp Flint fastened very
artificially, after their Manner, to a wooden Handle, cut down several Oak
Wattles about the Thickness of a Walking-staff, and some larger Pieces. But I
shall not trouble the Reader with a particular Description of my own Mechanicks:
Let it suffice to say, that in six Weeks time, with the Help of the Sorrel Nag,
who performed the Parts that required most Labour, I finished a Sort of Indian
Canoo, but much larger, covering it with the Skins of Yahoos, well stitched
together, with hempen Threads of my own making. My Sail was likewise composed of
the Skins of the same Animal; but I made use of the youngest I could get, the
older being too tough and thick; and I likewise provided myself with four
Paddles. I laid in a Stock of boiled Flesh, of Rabbets and Fowls; and took with
me two Vessels, one filled with Milk, and the other with Water.
    I tried my Canoo in a large Pond near my Master's House, and then corrected
in it what was amiss; stopping all the Chinks with Yahoos Tallow, till I found
it stanch, and able to bear me, and my Freight. And when it was as complete as I
could possibly make it, I had it drawn on a Carriage very gently by Yahoos, to
the Sea-side, under the Conduct of the Sorrel Nag, and another Servant.
    When all was ready, and the Day came for my Departure, I took Leave of my
Master and Lady, and the whole Family, mine Eyes flowing with Tears, and my
Heart quite sunk with Grief. But his Honour, out of Curiosity, and perhaps (if I
may speak it without Vanity) partly out of Kindness, was determined to see me in
my Canoo; and got several of his neighbouring Friends to accompany him. I was
forced to wait above an Hour for the Tide, and then observing the Wind very
fortunately bearing towards the Island, to which I intended to steer my Course,
I took a second Leave of my Master: But as I was going to prostrate myself to
kiss his Hoof, he did me the Honour to raise it gently to my Mouth. I am not
ignorant how much I have been censured for mentioning this last Particular.
Detractors are pleased to think it improbable, that so illustrious a Person
should descend to give so great a Mark of Distinction to a Creature so inferior
as I. Neither have I forgot, how apt some Travellers are to boast of
extraordinary Favours they have received. But, if these Censurers were better
acquainted with the noble and courteous Disposition of the Houyhnhnms, they
would soon change their Opinion.
    I paid my Respects to the rest of the Houyhnhnms in his Honour's Company;
then getting into my Canoo, I pushed off from Shore.
 

                                   Chap. XI.

The Author's dangerous Voyage. He arrives at New-Holland, hoping to settle
there. Is wounded with an Arrow by one of the Natives. Is seized and carried by
Force into a Portugueze Ship. The great Civilities of the Captain. The Author
arrives at England.
 
I began this desperate Voyage on February 15, 1715, at 9 o'Clock in the Morning.
The Wind was very favourable; however, I made use at first only of my Paddles;
but considering I should soon be weary, and that the Wind might probably chop
about, I ventured to set up my little Sail; and thus, with the Help of the Tide,
I went at the Rate of a League and a Half an Hour, as near as I could guess. My
Master and his Friends continued on the Shoar, till I was almost out of Sight;
and I often heard the Sorrel Nag (who always loved me) crying out, Hnuy illa
nyha maiah Yahoo, Take Care of thy self, gentle Yahoo.
    My Design was, if possible, to discover some small Island uninhabited, yet
sufficient by my Labour to furnish me with Necessaries of Life, which I would
have thought a greater Happiness than to be first Minister in the politest Court
of Europe; so horrible was the Idea I conceived of returning to live in the
Society and under the Government of Yahoos. For in such a Solitude as I desired,
I could at least enjoy my own Thoughts, and reflect with Delight on the Virtues
of those inimitable Houyhnhnms, without any Opportunity of degenerating into the
Vices and Corruptions of my own Species.
    The Reader may remember what I related when my Crew conspired against me,
and confined me to my Cabbin. How I continued there several Weeks, without
knowing what Course we took; and when I was put ashore in the Long-boat, how the
Sailors told me with Oaths, whether true or false, that they knew not in what
Part of the World we were. However, I did then believe us to be about ten
Degrees Southward of the Cape of Good Hope, or about 45 Degrees Southern
Latitude, as I gathered from some general Words I overheard among them, being I
supposed to the South-East in their intended Voyage to Madagascar. And although
this were but little better than Conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my Course
Eastward, hoping to reach the South-West Coast of New-Holland, and perhaps some
such Island as I desired, lying Westward of it. The Wind was full West, and by
six in the Evening I computed I had gone Eastward at least eighteen Leagues;
when I spied a very small Island about half a League off, which I soon reached.
It was nothing but a Rock with one Creek, naturally arched by the Force of
Tempests. Here I put in my Canoo, and climbing a Part of the Rock, I could
plainly discover Land to the East, extending from South to North. I lay all
Night in my Canoo; and repeating my Voyage early in the Morning, I arrived in
seven Hours to the South-East Point of New-Holland. This confirmed me in the
Opinion I have long entertained, that the Maps and Charts place this Country at
least three Degrees more to the East than it really is; which Thought I
communicated many Years ago to my worthy Friend Mr. Herman Moll, and gave him my
Reasons for it, although he hath rather chosen to follow other Authors.
    I saw no Inhabitants in the Place where I landed; and being unarmed, I was
afraid of venturing far into the Country. I found some Shell-Fish on the Shore,
and eat them raw, not daring to kindle a Fire, for fear of being discovered by
the Natives. I continued three Days feeding on Oysters and Limpits, to save my
own Provisions; and I fortunately found a Brook of excellent Water, which gave
me great Relief.
    On the fourth Day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw twenty or
thirty Natives upon a Height, not above five hundred Yards from me. They were
stark naked, Men, Women and Children round a Fire, as I could discover by the
Smoke. One of them spied me, and gave Notice to the rest; five of them advanced
towards me, leaving the Women and Children at the Fire. I made what haste I
could to the Shore, and getting into my Canoo, shoved off: The Savages observing
me retreat, ran after me; and before I could get far enough into the Sea,
discharged an Arrow, which wounded me deeply on the Inside of my left Knee (I
shall carry the Mark to my Grave.) I apprehended the Arrow might be poisoned;
and paddling out of the Reach of their Darts (being a calm Day) I made a shift
to suck the Wound, and dress it as well as I could.
    I was at a Loss what to do, for I durst not return to the same
Landing-place, but stood to the North, and was forced to paddle; for the Wind,
although very gentle, was against me, blowing North-West. As I was looking about
for a secure Landing-place, I saw a Sail to the North North-East, which
appearing every Minute more visible, I was in some Doubt, whether I should wait
for them or no; but at last my Detestation of the Yahoo Race prevailed; and
turning my Canoo, I sailed and paddled together to the South, and got into the
same Creek from whence I set out in the Morning; choosing rather to trust my
self among these Barbarians, than live with European Yahoos. I drew up my Canoo
as close as I could to the Shore, and hid my self behind a Stone by the little
Brook, which, as I have already said, was excellent Water.
    The Ship came within half a League of this Creek, and sent out her Long-Boat
with Vessels to take in fresh Water (for the Place it seems was very well known)
but I did not observe it until the Boat was almost on Shore; and it was too late
to seek another Hiding-Place. The Seamen at their landing observed my Canoo, and
rummaging it all over, easily conjectured that the Owner could not be far off.
Four of them well armed searched every Cranny and Lurking-hole, till at last
they found me flat on my Face behind the Stone. They gazed a while in Admiration
at my strange uncouth Dress; my Coat made of Skins, my wooden-soaled Shoes, and
my furred Stockings; from whence, however, they concluded I was not a Native of
the Place, who all go naked. One of the Seamen in Portugueze bid me rise, and
asked who I was. I understood that Language very well, and getting upon my Feet,
said, I was a poor Yahoo, banished from the Houyhnhnms, and desired they would
please to let me depart. They admired to hear me answer them in their own
Tongue, and saw by my Complection I must be an European; but were at a Loss to
know what I meant by Yahoos and Houyhnhnms, and at the same Time fell a laughing
at my strange Tone in speaking, which resembled the Neighing of a Horse. I
trembled all the while betwixt Fear and Hatred: I again desired Leave to depart,
and was gently moving to my Canoo; but they laid hold on me, desiring to know
what Country I was of? whence I came? with many other Questions. I told them, I
was born in England, from whence I came about five Years ago, and then their
Country and ours were at Peace. I therefore hoped they would not treat me as an
Enemy, since I meant them no Harm, but was a poor Yahoo, seeking some desolate
Place where to pass the Remainder of his unfortunate Life.
    When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw any thing so
unnatural; for it appeared to me as monstrous as if a Dog or a Cow should speak
in England, or a Yahoo in Houyhnhnm-Land. The honest Portuguese were equally
amazed at my strange Dress, and the odd Manner of delivering my Words, which
however they understood very well. They spoke to me with great Humanity, and
said they were sure their Captain would carry me gratis to Lisbon, from whence I
might return to my own Country; that two of the Seamen would go back to the
Ship, to inform the Captain of what they had seen, and receive his Orders; in
the mean Time, unless I would give my solemn Oath not to fly, they would secure
me by Force. I thought it best to comply with their Proposal. They were very
curious to know my Story, but I gave them very little Satisfaction; and they all
conjectured, that my Mixfortunes had impaired my Reason. In two Hours the Boat,
which went loaden with Vessels of Water, returned with the Captain's Commands to
fetch me on Board. I fell on my Knees to preserve my Liberty; but all was in
vain, and the Men having tied me with Cords, heaved me into the Boat, from
whence I was taken into the Ship, and from thence into the Captain's Cabbin.
    His Name was Pedro de Mendez; he was a very courteous and generous Person;
he entreated me to give some Account of my self, and desired to know what I
would eat or drink; said, I should be used as well as himself, and spoke so many
obliging Things, that I wondered to find such Civilities from a Yahoo. However,
I remained silent and sullen; I was ready to faint at the very Smell of him and
his Men. At last I desired something to eat out of my own Canoo; but he ordered
me a Chicken and some excellent Wine, and then directed that I should be put to
Bed in a very clean Cabbin. I would not undress my self, but lay on the
Bed-clothes; and in half an Hour stole out, when I thought the Crew was at
Dinner; and getting to the Side of the Ship, was going to leap into the Sea, and
swim for my Life, rather than continue among Yahoos. But one of the Seamen
prevented me, and having informed the Captain, I was chained to my Cabbin.
    After Dinner Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my Reason for so
desperate an Attempt; assured me he only meant to do me all the Service he was
able; and spoke so very movingly, that at last I descended to treat him like an
Animal which had some little Portion of Reason. I gave him a very short Relation
of my Voyage; of the Conspiracy against me by my own Men; of the Country where
they set me on Shore, and of my five Years Residence there. All which he looked
upon as if it were a Dream or a Vision; whereat I took great Offence: For I had
quite forgot the Faculty of Lying, so peculiar to Yahoos in all Countries where
they preside, and consequently the Disposition of suspecting Truth in others of
their own Species. I asked him, Whether it were the Custom of his Country to say
the Thing that was not? I assured him I had almost forgot what he meant by
falsehood; and if I had lived a thousand Years in Houyhnhnmland, I should never
have heard a Lie from the meanest Servant. That I was altogether indifferent
whether he believed me or no; but however, in return for his Favours, I would
give so much Allowance to the Corruption of his Nature, as to answer any
Objection he would please to make; and he might easily discover the Truth.
    The Captain, a wise Man, after many Endeavours to catch me tripping in some
Part of my Story, at last began to have a better Opinion of my Veracity. But he
added, that since I professed so inviolable an Attachment to Truth, I must give
him my Word of Honour to bear him Company in this Voyage without attempting any
thing against my Life; or else he would continue me a Prisoner till we arrived
at Lisbon. I gave him the Promise he required; but at the same time protested
that I would suffer the greatest Hardships rather than return to live among
Yahoos.
    Our Voyage passed without any considerable Accident. In Gratitude to the
Captain I sometimes sate with him at his earnest Request, and strove to conceal
my Antipathy against human Kind, although it often broke out; which he suffered
to pass without Observation. But the greatest Part of the Day, I confined myself
to my Cabbin, to avoid seeing any of the Crew. The Captain had often entreated
me to strip myself of my savage Dress, and offered to lend me the best Suit of
clothes he had. This I would not be prevailed on to accept, abhorring to cover
myself with any thing that had been on the Back of a Yahoo. I only desired he
would lend me two clean Shirts, which having been washed since he wore them, I
believed would not so much defile me. These I changed every second Day, and
washed them myself.
    We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715. At our landing, the Captain forced me to
cover myself with his Cloak, to prevent the Rabble from crouding about me. I was
conveyed to his own House; and at my earnest Request, he led me up to the
highest Room backwards. I conjured him to conceal from all Persons what I had
told him of the Houyhnhnms; because the least Hint of such a Story would not
only draw Numbers of People to see me, but probably put me in Danger of being
imprisoned, or burnt by the Inquisition. The Captain persuaded me to accept a
Suit of clothes newly made; but I would not suffer the Taylor to take my
Measure; however, Don Pedro being almost of my Size, they fitted me well enough.
He accoutred me with other Necessaries all new, which I aired for Twenty-four
Hours before I would use them.
    The Captain had no Wife, nor above three Servants, none of which were
suffered to attend at Meals; and his whole Deportment was so obliging, added to
very good human Understanding, that I really began to tolerate his Company. He
gained so far upon me, that I ventured to look out of the back Window. By
Degrees I was brought into another Room, from whence I peeped into the Street,
but drew my Head back in a Fright. In a Week's Time he seduced me down to the
Door. I found my Terror gradually lessened, but my Hatred and Contempt seemed to
increase. I was at last bold enough to walk the Street in his Company, but kept
my Nose well stopped with Rue, or sometimes with Tobacco.
    In ten Days, Don Pedro, to whom I had given some Account of my domestick
Affairs, put it upon me as a Point of Honour and Conscience, that I ought to
return to my native Country, and live at home with my Wife and Children. He told
me, there was an English Ship in the Port just ready to sail, and he would
furnish me with all things necessary. It would be tedious to repeat his
Arguments, and my Contradictions. He said, it was altogether impossible to find
such a solitary Island as I had desired to live in; but I might command in my
own House, and pass my time in a Manner as recluse as I pleased.
    I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon the 24th
Day of November, in an English Merchant-man, but who was the Master I never
inquired. Don Pedro accompanied me to the Ship, and lent me Twenty Pounds. He
took kind Leave of me, and embraced me at parting; which I bore as well as I
could. During this last Voyage I had no Commerce with the Master, or any of his
Men; but pretending I was sick kept close in my Cabbin. On the Fifth of
December, 1715, we cast Anchor in the Downs about Nine in the Morning, and at
Three in the Afternoon I got safe to my House at Redriff.
    My Wife and Family received me with great Surprise and Joy, because they
concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely confess, the Sight of them filled
me only with Hatred, Disgust and Contempt; and the more, by reflecting on the
near Alliance I had to them. For, although since my unfortunate Exile from the
Houyhnhnm Country, I had compelled myself to tolerate the Sight of Yahoos, and
to converse with Don Pedro de Mendez; yet my Memory and Imaginations were
perpetually filled with the Virtues and Ideas of those exalted Houyhnhnms. And
when I began to consider, that by copulating with one of the Yahoo-Species, I
had become a Parent of more; it struck me with the utmost Shame, Confusion and
Horror.
    As soon as I entered the House, my Wife took me in her Arms, and kissed me;
at which, having not been used to the Touch of that odious Animal for so many
Years, I fell in a Swoon for almost an Hour. At the Time I am writing, it is
five Years since my last Return to England: During the first Year I could not
endure my Wife or Children in my Presence, the very Smell of them was
intolerable; much less could I suffer them to eat in the same Room. To this Hour
they dare not presume to touch my Bread, or drink out of the same Cup; neither
was I ever able to let one of them take me by the Hand. The first Money I laid
out was to buy two young Stone-Horses, which I keep in a good Stable, and next
to them the Groom is my greatest Favourite; for I feel my Spirits revived by the
Smell he contracts in the Stable. My Horses understand me tolerably well; I
converse with them at least four Hours every Day. They are Strangers to Bridle
or Saddle; they live in great Amity with me, and Friendship to each other.
 

                                   Chap. XII.

The Author's Veracity. His Design in publishing this Work. His Censure of those
Travellers who swerve from the Truth. The Author clears himself from any
sinister Ends in writing. An Objection answered. The Method of planting
Colonies. His Native Country commended. The Right of the Crown to those
Countries described by the Author, is justified. The Difficulty of conquering
them. The Author takes his last Leave of the Reader; proposeth his Manner of
Living for the future; gives good Advice, and concludeth.
 
Thus, gentle Reader, I have given thee a faithful History of my Travels for
Sixteen Years, and above Seven Months; wherein I have not been so studious of
Ornament as of Truth. I could perhaps like others have astonished thee with
strange improbable Tales; but I rather chose to relate plain Matter of Fact in
the simplest Manner and Style; because my principal Design was to inform, and
not to amuse thee.
    It is easy for us who travel into remote Countries, which are seldom visited
by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form Descriptions of wonderful Animals both
at Sea and Land. Whereas, a Traveller's chief Aim should be to make Men wiser
and better, and to improve their Minds by the bad, as well as good Example of
what they deliver concerning foreign Places.
    I could heartily wish a Law were enacted, that every Traveller, before he
were permitted to publish his Voyages, should be obliged to make Oath before the
Lord High Chancellor, that all he intended to print was absolutely true to the
best of his Knowledge; for then the World would no longer be deceived as it
usually is, while some Writers, to make their Works pass the better upon the
Publick, impose the grossest Falsities on the unwary Reader. I have perused
several Books of Travels with great Delight in my younger Days; but, having
since gone over most Parts of the Globe, and been able to contradict many
fabulous Accounts from my own Observation; it hath given me a great Disgust
against this Part of Reading, and some Indignation to see the Credulity of
Mankind so impudently abused. Therefore since my Acquaintance were pleased to
think my poor Endeavours might not be unacceptable to my Country; I imposed on
myself as a Maxim, never to be swerved from, that I would strictly adhere to
Truth; neither indeed can I be ever under the least Temptation to vary from it,
while I retain in my Mind the Lectures and Example of my noble Master, and the
other illustrious Houyhnhnms, of whom I had so long the Honour to be an humble
Hearer.
 
-- Nec si miserum Fortuna Sinonem
Finxit, vanum etiam, mendacemque improba finget.
 
I know very well, how little Reputation is to be got by Writings which require
neither Genius nor Learning, nor indeed any other Talent, except a good Memory,
or an exact Journal. I know likewise, that Writers of Travels, like
Dictionary-Makers, are sunk into Oblivion by the Weight and Bulk of those who
come last, and therefore lie uppermost. And it is highly probable, that such
Travellers who shall hereafter visit the Countries described in this Work of
mine, may by detecting my Errors, (if there be any) and adding many new
Discoveries of their own, jostle me out of Vogue, and stand in my Place; making
the World forget that ever I was an Author. This indeed would be too great a
Mortification if I wrote for Fame: But, as my sole Intention was the PUBLICK
GOOD, I cannot be altogether disappointed. For, who can read of the Virtues I
have mentioned in the glorious Houyhnhnms, without being ashamed of his own
Vices, when he considers himself as the reasoning, governing Animal of his
Country? I shall say nothing of those remote Nations where Yahoos preside;
amongst which the least corrupted are the Brobdingnagians, whose wise Maxims in
Morality and Government, it would be our Happiness to observe. But I forbear
descanting further, and rather leave the judicious Reader to his own Remarks and
Applications.
    I am not a little pleased that this Work of mine can possibly meet with no
Censurers: For what Objections can be made against a Writer who relates only
plain Facts that happened in such distant Countries, where we have not the least
Interest with respect either to Trade or Negotiations? I have carefully avoided
every Fault with which common Writers of Travels are often too justly charged.
Besides, I meddle not the least with any Party, but write without Passion,
Prejudice, or Ill-will against any Man or Number of Men whatsoever. I write for
the noblest End, to inform and instruct Mankind, over whom I may, without Breach
of Modesty, pretend to some Superiority, from the Advantages I received by
conversing so long among the most accomplished Houyhnhnms. I write without any
View towards Profit or Praise. I never suffer a Word to pass that may look like
Reflection, or possibly give the least Offence even to those who are most ready
to take it. So that, I hope, I may with Justice pronounce myself an Author
perfectly blameless; against whom the Tribes of Answerers, Considerers,
Observers, Reflecters, Detecters, Remarkers, will never be able to find Matter
for exercising their Talents.
    I confess, it was whispered to me, that I was bound in Duty as a Subject of
England, to have given in a Memorial to a Secretary of State, at my first coming
over; because, whatever Lands are discovered by a Subject, belong to the Crown.
But I doubt, whether our Conquests in the Countries I treat of, would be as easy
as those of Ferdinando Cortez over the naked Americans. The Lilliputians I
think, are hardly worth the Charge of a Fleet and Army to reduce them; and I
question whether it might be prudent or safe to attempt the Brobdingnagians: Or,
whether an English Army would be much at their Ease with the Flying Island over
their Heads. The Houyhnhnms, indeed, appear not to be so well prepared for War,
a Science to which they are perfect Strangers, and especially against missive
Weapons. However, supposing myself to be a Minister of State, I could never give
my Advice for invading them. Their Prudence, Unanimity, Unacquaintedness with
Fear, and their Love of their Country would amply supply all Defects in the
military Art. Imagine twenty Thousand of them breaking into the Midst of an
European Army, confounding the Ranks, overturning the Carriages, battering the
Warriors Faces into Mummy, by terrible Yerks from their hinder Hoofs: For they
would well deserve the Character given to Augustus; Recalcitrat undique tutus.
But instead of Proposals for conquering that magnanimous Nation, I rather wish
they were in a Capacity or Disposition to send a sufficient Number of their
Inhabitants for civilizing Europe; by teaching us the first Principles of
Honour, Justice, Truth, Temperance, public Spirit, Fortitude, Chastity,
Friendship, Benevolence, and Fidelity. The Names of all which Virtues are still
retained among us in most Languages, and are to be met with in modern as well as
ancient Authors; which I am able to assert from my own small Reading.
    But, I had another Reason which made me less forward to enlarge his
Majesty's Dominions by my Discoveries: To say the Truth, I had conceived a few
Scruples with relation to the distributive Justice of Princes upon those
Occasions. For Instance, A Crew of Pyrates are driven by a Storm they know not
whither; at length a Boy discovers Land from the Top-mast; they go on Shore to
rob and plunder; they see an harmless People, are entertained with Kindness,
they give the Country a new Name, they take formal Possession of it for the
King, they set up a rotten Plank or a Stone for a Memorial, they murder two or
three Dozen of the Natives, bring away a Couple more by Force for a Sample,
return home, and get their Pardon. Here commences a new Dominion acquired with a
Title by Divine Right. Ships are sent with the first Opportunity; the Natives
driven out or destroyed, their Princes tortured to discover their Gold; a free
Licence given to all Acts of Inhumanity and Lust; the Earth reeking with the
Blood of its Inhabitants: And this execrable Crew of Butchers employed in so
pious an Expedition, is a modern Colony sent to convert and civilize an
idolatrous and barbarous People.
    But this Description, I confess, doth by no means affect the British Nation,
who may be an Example to the whole World for their Wisdom, Care, and Justice in
planting Colonies; their liberal Endowments for the Advancement of Religion and
Learning; their Choice of devout and able Pastors to propagate Christianity;
their Caution in stocking their Provinces with People of sober Lives and
Conversations from this the Mother Kingdom; their strict Regard to the
Distribution of Justice, in supplying the Civil Administration through all their
Colonies with Officers of the greatest Abilities, utter Strangers to Corruption:
And to crown all, by sending the most vigilant and virtuous Governors, who have
no other Views than the Happiness of the People over whom they preside, and the
Honour of the King their Master.
    But, as those Countries which I have described do not appear to have a
Desire of being conquered, and enslaved, murdered or driven out by Colonies; nor
abound either in Gold, Silver, Sugar or Tobacco; I did humbly conceive they were
by no Means proper Objects of our Zeal, our Valour, or our Interest. However, if
those whom it more concerns, think fit to be of another Opinion, I am ready to
depose, when I shall be lawfully called, That no European did ever visit these
Countries before me. I mean, if the Inhabitants ought to be believed.
    But, as to the Formality of taking Possession in my Sovereign's Name, it
never came once into my Thoughts; and if it had, yet as my Affairs then stood, I
should perhaps in point of Prudence and Self-Preservation, have put it off to a
better Opportunity.
    Having thus answered the only Objection that can be raised against me as a
Traveller; I here take a final Leave of my Courteous Readers, and return to
enjoy my own Speculations in my little Garden at Redriff; to apply those
excellent Lessons of Virtue which I learned among the Houyhnhnms; to instruct
the Yahoos of my own Family as far as I shall find them docible Animals; to
behold my Figure often in a Glass, and thus if possible habituate my self by
Time to tolerate the Sight of a human Creature: To lament the Brutality of
Houyhnhnms in my own Country, but always treat their Persons with Respect, for
the Sake of my noble Master, his Family, his Friends, and the whole Houyhnhnm
Race, whom these of ours have the Honour to resemble in all their Lineaments,
however their Intellectuals came to degenerate.
    I began last Week to permit my Wife to sit at Dinner with me, at the
farthest End of a long Table; and to answer (but with the utmost Brevity) the
few Questions I asked her. Yet the Smell of a Yahoo continuing very offensive, I
always keep my Nose well stopped with Rue, Lavender, or Tobacco-Leaves. And
although it be hard for a Man late in Life to remove old Habits; I am not
altogether out of Hopes in some Time to suffer a Neighbour Yahoo in my Company,
without the Apprehensions I am yet under of his Teeth or his Claws.
    My Reconcilement to the Yahoo-kind in general might not be so difficult, if
they would be content with those Vices and Follies only which Nature hath
entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at the Sight of a Lawyer, a
Pick-pocket, a Colonel, a Fool, a Lord, a Gamester, a Politician, a Whoremunger,
a Physician, an Evidence, a Suborner, an Attorney, a Traytor, or the like: This
is all according to the due Course of Things: But, when I behold a Lump of
Deformity, and Diseases both in Body and Mind, smitten with Pride, it
immediately breaks all the Measures of my Patience; neither shall I be ever able
to comprehend how such an Animal and such a Vice could tally together. The wise
and virtuous Houyhnhnms, who abound in all Excellencies that can adorn a
rational Creature, have no Name for this Vice in their Language, which hath no
Terms to express any thing that is evil, except those whereby they describe the
detestable Qualities of their Yahoos; among which they were not able to
distinguish this of Pride, for want of thoroughly understanding Human Nature, as
it sheweth it self in other Countries, where that Animal presides. But I, who
had more Experience, could plainly observe some Rudiments of it among the wild
Yahoos.
    But the Houyhnhnms, who live under the Government of Reason, are no more
proud of the good Qualities they possess, than I should be for not wanting a Leg
or an Arm, which no Man in his Wits would boast of, although he must be
miserable without them. I dwell the longer upon this Subject from the Desire I
have to make the Society of an English Yahoo by any Means not insupportable; and
therefore I here entreat those who have any Tincture of this absurd Vice, that
they will not presume to appear in my Sight.
 
                                     Finis.
