AGATHAS HUSBAND
A NOVEL
BY THE AUTHOR OF
JOHN HALIFAX GENTLEMAN
DINAH MARIA CRAIK
CHAPTER I
—If there ever was a woman thoroughly like her name it was Agatha Bowen She was good in the first place—right good at heart though with a slight external roughness like the sound of the g in her name which took away all sentimentalism Then the vowels—the three broad rich as—which no one can pronounce with niminipimini closed lips—how thoroughly they answered to her character—a character in the which was nothing small mean cramped or crooked
But if we go on unfolding her in this way there will not be the slightest use in writing her history or that of one in whom her life is beautifully involved and enclosed—as every married womans should be—
He was still in clouded mystery—an individual yet to be and two other individuals had been talking him over femininefashion in Miss Agatha Bowens drawingroom much to that ladys amusement and edification For being moderately rich she had her own suite of rooms in the house where she boarded and having no mother—sorrowful lot for a girl of nineteen—she sometimes filled her drawingroom with very useless and unprofitable acquaintances These two married ladies—one young the other old—Mrs Hill and Mrs Thornycroft—had been for the last halfhour vexing their very hearts out to find Agatha a husband—a weakness which it must be confessed lurks in the heart of almost every married lady
Agatha had been laughing at it alternately flushing up or looking scornful as her mouth had a natural propensity for looking balancing herself occasionally on the arm of the sofa which being rather small and of a light figure she could do with both impunity and grace or else rushing to the open window ostensibly to let her black kitten investigate streetsights from its mistresss shoulder Agatha was very much of a child still or could be when she chose
Mrs Hill had been regretting some two or three excellent matches of which she felt sure Miss Bowen had thrown away her chance and young Mrs Thornycroft had tried hard to persuade her dearest Agatha how very much happier she would be in a house of her own than as a boarder even in this excellent physicians family But Agatha only laughed on and devoted herself more than ever to the black kitten
She was I fear a damsel who rather neglected the bienséances of life Only in her excuse it must be allowed that her friends were doing what they had no earthly business to do since if there is one subject above all upon which a young woman has a right to keep her thoughts feelings and intentions to herself and to exact from others the respect of silence it is that of marriage Possibly Agatha Bowen was of this opinion
Mrs Hill you are a very kind good soul and Emma Thornycroft I like you very much but if—Oh be quiet Tittens—if you could manage to let me and my Husband alone
These were the only serious words she said—and they were but half serious she evidently felt such an irresistible propensity to laugh
Now continued she turning the conversation and putting on a dignified aspect which occasionally she took it into her head to assume though more in playfulness than earnest—now let me tell you who you will meet here at dinner today
Major Harper of course
I do not see the of course Mrs Thornycroft returned Agatha rather sharply then melting into a smile she added Well of course as you say what more likely visitor could I have than my guardian
Trustee my dear guardians belong to romances where young ladies are always expected to hate or fall in love with them
Agatha flushed slightly Now unlike most girls Miss Bowen did not look pretty when she blushed her skin being very dark and not over clear the red blood coursing under it dyed her cheek not celestial rosy red but a warm mahogany colour Perhaps a consciousness of this deepened the unpleasant blushing fit to which like most sensitive people at her age she was always rather prone
Not continued Mrs Thornycroft watching her—not that I think any love affair is likely to happen in your case Major Harper is far too much of a settleddown bachelor and at the same time too old
Agatha pulled a comical face and made a few solemn allusions to Methuselah She had a peculiarly quick even abrupt manner of speaking saying a dozen words in the time most young ladies would take to drawl out three and possessing likewise the rare feminine quality of never saying a word more than was necessary
Agatha how funny you are laughed her easilyamused friend But dear tell me who else is coming And she glanced doubtfully down on a gown that looked like a marriagesilk dyed and renovated
Oh no ladies—and gentlemen never see whether one is dressed in brocade or sackcloth returned Agatha rather maliciously—only old Major Harper as you are pleased to call him and——
Nay I didnt call him very old—just forty or thereabouts—though he does not look anything like it Then he is so handsome and I must say Agatha pays you such extreme attention
Agatha laughed again—the quick lighthearted laugh of nineteen—and her brown eyes brightened with innocent pleasure
Young Mrs Thornycroft again looked down uneasily at her dress—not from overmuch vanity but because her hounded mind recurred instinctively from extraneous or large interests to individual and lesser ones
Is there really any one particular coming my dear Of course you have no trouble about evening dress mourning is such easy comfortable wear Agatha turned her head quickly aside That handsome silk of yours looks quite well still and mamma there glancing at the contentedly knitting Mrs Hill—old ladies never require much dress but if you had only told me to prepare for company——
Pretty company Merely our own circle—Dr Ianson Mrs Ianson and Miss Ianson—you need not mind outshining her now——
No indeed I am married
Then the company dwindles down to two besides yourselves Major Harper and his brother
Oh What sort of a person is the brother
I really dont know I have never seen him He is just come home from Canada the youngest of the family—and I hate boys replied Agatha running the sentences one upon the other in her quick fashion
The youngest of the family—how many are there in all inquired the elder lady her friendly anxiety being probably once more on matrimonial thoughts intent
I am sure Mrs Hill I cannot tell I have never seen any of them but Major Harper and I never saw him till my poor father died all which circumstances you know quite well and Emma too so there is no need to talk a thing twice over
From her occasional mode of speech some people might say and did say that Agatha Bowen had a temper of her own It is very true she was not one of those mild amiable heroines who never can give a sharp word to any one And now and then probably from the morbid restlessness of unsatisfied youth—a youth too that fate had deprived of those hometies duties and sacrifices which are at once so arduous and so wholesome—she had a habit of carrying not only the real black kitten but the imaginary and allegorical little black dog on her shoulder
It was grinning there invisibly now shaking her curls with short quick motion swelling her rich full lips—those sort of lips which are glorious in smiles but which in repose are apt to settle into a gravity not unlike crossness
She was looking thus—not her best it must be allowed—when a servant opening the drawingroom door announced Visitors for Miss Bowen
The first who entered very much in advance of the other appeared with that easy agreeable air which at once marks the gentleman and one long accustomed to the world in all its phases especially to the feminine phase for he bowed over Agathas hand and smiled in Agathas now brightening face with a sort of tender manliness that implied his being used to pleasing women and having an agreeable though not an ungenerous consciousness of the fact
Are you better—really better Are you quite sure you have no cold left Nothing to make your friends anxious about you Agatha shook her head smilingly Thats right I am so glad
And no doubt Major Harper was for a true kindheartedness softened even to tenderheartedness was visible in his handsome face Which face had been for twenty years the admiration of nearly every woman in every drawingroom he entered a considerable trial for any man Now and then some independent young lady who had reasons of her own for preferring rosy complexions turnup noses and runaway chins might quarrel with the Majors fine Roman profile and jetblack moustache and hair but—there was no denying it—he was even at forty a remarkably handsome man one of the old school of Chesterfield perfection which is fast dying out
Everybody liked him more or less and some people—a few men and not a few women had either in friendship or in warmer fashion—deeply loved him Society in general was quite aware of this nor it must be confessed did Major Harper at all attempt to disprove or ignore the fact He wore his honours—as he did a cross won no one quite knew how during a brief service in the Peninsula—neither pompously nor boastingly but with the mild indifference of conscious desert
All this could be at once discerned in his face voice and manner from which likewise a keen observer might draw the safe conclusion that though a decided man of fashion and something of a dandy he was above either puppyism or immorality And Agathas rich AngloIndian father had not judged foolishly when he put his only child and her property in the trust of as he believed that rare personage an honest man
If the girl Agatha who took honesty as a matter of course in every gentleman endowed this particular one with a few qualities more than he really possessed it was an amiable weakness on her part for which as Major Harper would doubtless have said with a seriously troubled countenance no one could possibly blame him
In speaking of the Major we have taken little notice—as little indeed as Agatha did—of the younger Mr Harper
My brother Miss Bowen He came home when my sister Emily died The brief introduction terminated in a slight fall of voice which made the young lady look sympathisingly at the handsome face that took shades of sadness as easily as shades of mirth In her interest for the Major she merely bowed to his brother just noticed that the stranger was a tall fair boy not at all resembling her own friend and after a polite speech or two of welcome to which Mr Harper answered very briefly she hardly looked at him again until she and her guests adjourned to the family drawingroom of Dr Ianson
There the Major happening to be engrossed by doing earnest politeness to Mrs Thornycroft and her mother Agatha had to enter side by side with the younger brother and likewise to introduce him to the worthy family whose inmate she was
She did so making the whole circuit of the room towards Miss Jane Ianson in the hope that he would cast anchor or else be grappled by that young lady and so she should get rid of him However fate was adverse the young gentleman showed no inclination to be thus put aside and Miss Bowen driven to despair was just going to extinguish him altogether with some specimen of the unceremonious manner which she occasionally showed to boys when observing him more closely she discovered that he could not exactly come under this category
His fair face fair hair and thin striplinglike figure had deceived her Investigating deeper there was a something in his grave eye and firmlyset mouth which bespoke the man not the boy Agatha who treating him with a careless womanly superiority that girls of nineteen use had asked how long he had been in Canada and been answered Fifteen years—hesitated at her next intended question—the very rude and malicious one—How old he was when he left home
I was as you say very young when I quitted England he answered to a less pointed remark of Miss Iansons I must have been a lad of nine or ten—little more
Agatha quite started to think of the disrespectful way in which she had treated a gentleman twentyfive years old It made her shy and uncomfortable for some minutes and she rather repented of her habit of patronising boys
However what was even twentyfive A raw uncouth age No man was really good for anything until he was thirty And as quickly as courtesy and good feeling allowed her she glided from the uninteresting younger brother to the charmed circle where the elder was talking away as only Major Harper could talk using all the weapons of conversation by turns to a degree that never can be truly described Like Taglionis entrechats or Grisis melodious notes such extrinsic talent dies on the senses of the listener who cannot prove scarcely even explain but only say that it was so Nevertheless with all his power of amusing a keen observer might have discerned in Major Harper a want of depth—of reading—of thought a something that marked out the man of society in contradiction to the man of intellect or of letters Had he been an author—which he was once heard to thank Heaven he was not—he would probably have been one of those shallow fashionable sentimentalists who hang like Mahomeds coffin between earth and heaven an eyesore unto both As it was his modicum of talent made him a most pleasant man in his own sphere—the drawingroom
Really whispered the good corpulent Dr Ianson who had been laughing so much that he quite forgot dinner was behind time my dear Miss Bowen your friend is the most amusing witty delightful person It is quite a pleasure to have such a man at ones table
Quite a pleasure indeed echoed Mrs Ianson deeply thankful to anything or anybody that stood in the breach between herself her husband and the dilatory cook
Agatha looked gratified and proud Casting a shy glance towards where her friend was talking to Emma Thomycroft and Miss Ianson she met the eye of the younger brother It expressed such keen though grave observance of her that she felt her cheeks warm into the old unbecoming uncomfortable blush
It was rather a satisfaction that just then they were summoned to dinner Major Harper in his half tender half paternal manner advancing to take her downstairs which was his custom when as frequently happened Agatha Bowen was the woman he liked best in the room This was indeed his usual way in all societies except when out of kindliness of heart he now and then made a temporary sacrifice in favour of some woman who he thought liked him best Though even in this case perhaps he would not have erred or felt that he erred in offering his arm to Agatha
She looked happy as any young girl would in receiving the attentions of a man whom all admired and was quite contented to sit next to him listening while he talked cheerfully and brilliantly less for her personal entertainment than that of the table in general Which she thought considering the dulness of the Ianson circle and that even her own kindhearted longknown friend Emma Thomycroft was not the most intellectual woman in the world—showed great good nature on the part of Major Harper
Perhaps the most silent person at table was the younger brother whose Christian name Agatha did not know However hearing the Major call him once or twice by an oddsounding word something like Beynell or Ennell she had the curiosity to inquire
Oh it is N L—his initials which I call him by instead of the very ugly name his cruel godfathers and godmothers imposed upon him as a lifelong martyrdom
What name is that asked Agatha looking across at the luckless victim of nomenclature who seemed to endure his woes with great equanimity
He met her eye and answered for himself showing he had been listening to her all the time I am called Nathanael—it is an old family name—Nathanael Locke Harper
You dont look very like a Nathanael observed his neighbour Mrs Thornycroft doubtless wishing to be complimentary
I think he does said Agatha kindly for she was struck by the infinitely sweet and good expression which the young mans face just then wore He looks like the Nathanael of Scripture in whom there was no guile
A pause—for the Iansons were those sort of religious people who think any Biblical allusions irreverent But Major Harper said heartily Thats true and cordially nay affectionately pressed Agathas hand Nathanael slightly coloured as if with pleasure though he made no answer of any kind He was evidently unused to bandy either jests or compliments
If anything could be objected to in a young man so retiring and unobtrusive as he it was a certain something the very opposite of his brothers cheerful frankness His features regular delicate and perfectly colourless his hair long straight and of the palest brown without any shadow of what painters would call a warm tint auburn or gold running through it his slow quiet movements rare speech and a certain passive composure of aspect altogether conveyed the impression of a nature which if not positively repellant was decidedly cold
Agatha felt it and though from the rule of opposites this species of character awoke in her a spice of interest yet was the interest of too faint and negative a kind to attract her more than momentarily
In her own mind she set down Nathanael Harper as a very odd sort of youth—a youth she still persisted in calling him—and turned again to his brother
They had dined late—and the brief evening bade fair to pass as afterdinner evenings do Arrived in the drawingroom old Mrs Hill went to sleep Miss Ianson a pale young woman in delicate health disappeared Mrs Ianson and Mrs Thornycroft commenced a lowtoned harmless conversation which was probably about servants and babies Agatha being at that age when domestic affairs are very uninteresting and girlish romance has not yet ripened into the sweet and solemn instincts of motherhood stole quietly aside and did the very rude thing of taking up a book and beginning to read in company But as before stated Miss Agatha had a will of her own which she usually followed out even when it ran a little contrary to the ultrarefined laws of propriety
The book not being sufficiently interesting she was beginning like many another clever girl of nineteen to think the society of married ladies a great bore and to wonder when the gentlemen would come upstairs Her wish was shortly gratified by the doors opening—but only to admit the youth Nathanael
However partly for civility and partly through lack of entertainment Agatha smiled upon even him and tried to make him talk
This was not an easy matter since in all qualities he seemed to be his elder brothers opposite Indeed his reserve and brevity of speech emulated Agathas own so they got on together ill enough until by some happy chance they lighted on the subject of Canada and the Backwoods Where is there boy or girl of romantic imagination who did not at some juvenile period of existence revel in descriptions of American forestlife Agatha had scarcely passed this the latest of her various manias and on the strength of it she and Mr Harper became more sociable She even condescended to declare that it was a pleasure to meet with one who had absolutely seen nay lived among red Indians
Ay and nearly died among them too added Major Harper coming up so unexpectedly that Agatha had not noticed him Tell Miss Bowen how you were captured tied to the stake halftomahawked etc—how you lived Indian fashion for a whole year when you were sixteen Wonderful lad A second Nathaniel Bumppo added he tapping his brothers shoulder
The young man drew back merely answered that the story would not interest Miss Bowen and retired whether out of pride or shyness it was impossible to say
The conversation taken up and led as usual by Major Harper became a general disquisition on the race of North American Indians Accidentally or not the elder brother drew from the younger many facts indicating a degree of both information and experience which made every one glance with surprise respect and a little awe on the delicate boyishlooking Nathanael
Once too Agatha took her turn as an object of interest to the rest They were all talking of the distinctive personal features of that strange race which some writers have held to be the ten lost tribes of Israel Agatha asked what were the characteristics of an Indian face often stated to be so fine
Look in the mirror Miss Bowen said Nathanael joining in the conversation
What do you mean
I mean that were you not an Englishwoman I should have thought you descended from a Pawnee Indian—all except the hair The features are exact—long almondshaped eyes aquiline nose mouth and chin of the rare classic mould which these children of nature keep long after it has almost vanished out of civilised Europe Then your complexion of such a dark ruddy brown—your——
Stop—stop cried the Major heartily laughing Miss Bowen will think you have learnt every one of her physical peculiarities off by heart already I had not the least idea you were gifted with so much observation
Nay do let him go on it amuses me cried the young girl laughing though she could not help blushing a little also
But Nathanael had shrunk into his shell as his brother humorously whispered to Agatha and was not to be drawn out for the remainder of the evening
The Harpers left early thus affording great opportunity for their characters being discussed afterwards Every lady in the room had long since declared herself in love with the elder brother the fact was now repeated for the thousandth time together with one or two remarks about the younger Harper who they agreed was rather nicelooking but so eccentric
Miss Bowen scarcely thought about Nathanael at all except that after she was in bed a comical recollection floated through other more serious ones and she laughed outright at the notion of being considered like a Pawnee Indian
CHAPTER II
Of all the misfortunes incidental to youth falling in love included there are few greater than that of having nothing to do From this trial Agatha Bowen being unhappily a young lady of independent property suffered martyrdom every day She had no natural ties duties or interests and was not sufficiently selfish to create the like in and about her own personality She did not think herself handsome enough to be vain so had not that sweet refuge of feminine idleness—dress Nor it must be dolefully confessed was she of so loving a nature as to love anybody or everybody as some women can
Kind to all and liking many she was apparently one of those characters who only really love two or three people in the whole course of their existence To such life is a serious perilous and often terrible journey
Well Tittens I dont know really what we are to do with ourselves this morning said Agatha talking aloud to her Familiar the black kitten who shared the solitude of her little drawingroom Youd like to go and play downstairs I dare say Its all very nice for you to be running after Mrs Iansons wools but I cant see anything amusing in fancywork And as for dawdling round this square and Russell Square with Jane Ianson and Fido—pah Id quite as soon be changed into a lapdog and led along by a string How stupid London is Oh Tittens to think that you and I have never lived in the country since we were born Wouldnt you like to go Only then we should never see anybody——
The foolish girl paused and laughed as if she did not like to soliloquise too confidentially even to a kitten
Which of them did you like the best last night Tittens One was not over civil to you but Nathanael—yes certainly you and that juvenile are great friends considering you have met but four evenings All in one week too Our house is getting quite gay Miss Tittens only it is so much the duller in the mornings Heigho
Lifes a weary weary weary Lifes a weary coble o care
Whats the other verse And she began humming
Mans a steerer steerer steerer Mans a steerer—life is a pool
I wonder Tittens how you and I shall steer through it and whether the pool will be muddy or clear
Twisting her fingers in and about her pets jetty for Agatha sat silent until slowly there grew a thoughtful shadow in her eyes a forewarning of the gradual passing away of that childishness which in her from accidental circumstances had lasted strangely long
Come we wont be foolish Tittens cried she suddenly starting up Well put on our bonnets and go out—that is one of us will and the other may take to Berlin wool and Mrs Ianson
The bonnet was popped on quickly and independently—Miss Bowen scorned to indulge in the convenience or annoyance of a ladysmaid Crossing the hall the customary question Whether she would be home to dinner stopped her
I dont know—I am not quite sure Tell Mrs Ianson not to wait for me
And she passed out feeling keener than usual the consciousness that nobody would wait for her or look for her or miss her that her comings in and goings out were perfectly indifferent to every human being in the house called by courtesy her home Perhaps this was her own fault but she could not help it It was out of her nature to get up an interest among ordinary people where interests there were none
Little more had she in the house whither she was going to pay one of her extempore visits but then there was the habit of old affection begun before characters develop themselves into the infinite variety from which mental sympathy is evolved She could not help liking Emma Thornycroft her sole childish acquaintance whose elder sister had been Agathas daily governess until she died
I know Emma will be glad to see me which is something and if she does tire me with talk about the babies why children are better than Berlin wool And there is always the piano Besides I must walk out or I shall rust to death in this horrible Bedford Square
She walked on rather in a misanthropic mood a circumstance to her not rare But she had never known mother sister or brother and the name of father was to her little more than an empty sound It had occasionally come mistily over the Indian Ocean in the shape of formal letters—the only letters that ever visited the dull London house where she spent her shutup childhood and acquired the accomplishments of her teens Mr Bowen died on the high seas and when his daughter met the ship at Southampton a closed black coffin was all that remained to her of the name of father That bond like all others was destined to be to her a mere shadow Poor Agatha
Quick exercise always brings cheerfulness when one is young strong and free from any real cares Agathas imaginary ones together with the vague sentimentalisms into which she was on the verge of falling yet had not fallen vanished under the influence of a cheerful walk on a sunny summers day She arrived at Mrs Thornycrofts time enough to find that admirable young matron busied in teaching to her eldest boy the grand mystery of dining that is dining like a Christian seated at a real table with a real silver knife and fork These latter Master James evidently preferred poking into his eyes and nose rather than his mouth and evinced far greater anxiety to sit on the table than on the chair
Agatha dear—so glad to see you and Emmas look convinced even Agatha that this was true You will stay of course Just in time to see James eat his first dinner like a man Now Jemmie wipe his pretty mouth and then give Auntie Agatha a sweet kiss
Agatha submitted to the kiss though she did not quite believe in the adjective and felt a certain satisfaction in knowing that the title of Auntie was a mere compliment She did not positively dislike children else she would have been only half a woman or a woman so detestable as to be an anomaly in creation but her philoprogenitiveness was to say the least dormant at present and her sense of infantile beauty being founded on Sir Joshuas and Murillos cherubs she had no great fancy for the ugly little James
She laid aside her bonnet and smoothing her curls in the nursery mirror looked for one minute at her PawneeIndian face the sight of which now often made her smile Then she sat down to lunch with Emma and the children being allowed as a great favour to be placed next Master James and drink with him out of his silver mug Miss Bowen accepted the offered honour calmly made no remark but—went thirsty
For an hour or two she sat patiently listening to what had gone on in the house since she was there—how baby had cut two more teeth and James had had a new braided frock—which was sent for that she might look at it—how Missy had been to her first childrens party and was to learn dancing at Midsummer if papa could be coaxed to agree
How is Mr Thornycroft asked Agatha
Oh very well—papa is always well I only wish the little ones took after him in that respect
Agatha who was old enough to remember Emma engaged and Emma newly married smiled to think how entirely the lover beloved and the allimportant young husband had dwindled into a mere Papa liked and obeyed in a certain fashion for Emma was a good wife but evidently made a very secondary consideration to the children
The young girl—as yet neither married nor in love—wondered if this were always so She often had such wonderings and speculation when she came to Emmas house
She was growing rather tired of so much domestic information and had secretly taken out her watch to see how many hours it would be to dinner and to Mr Thornycroft a sensible intelligent man who from love to his wife had been always very kind to his wifes friends—when there came the not unwelcome sound of a knock at the halldoor
Bless me that is surely the Harpers I had quite forgotten Major Harper and the bears
An odd conjunction observed Agatha smiling
Major Harper who yesterday for the fifth time promised to take Missy to the Zoological Gardens to see the bears He has remembered it at last
No he had not remembered it it would have been a very remarkable circumstance if he had being a person so constantly full of engagements for himself and others The visitor was only his younger brother who had often daundered in at Mrs Thornycrofts house possibly from a liking to Emmas friendly manner or because cast astray for a fortnight on the wide desert of London he had like Agatha nothing to do
If Nathanael had other reasons they of course never came near the surface but lay buried under the silent waters of his quiet mind
Agatha was half pleased half disappointed at seeing him Mrs Thornycroft good soul was always charmed to have a visitor for her society did not attract many Only betraying as usual what was uppermost in her simple thoughts she could not long conceal her regret concerning little Missy and the bears
To Agathas great surprise Mr Harper who she thought in his dignified gravity would never have condescended to such a thing volunteered to assume his brothers duty
For said he with a slight smile I have had too many perilous encounters with wild bears in America not to feel some curiosity in seeing a few captured ones in England
That will be charming cried Mrs Thornycroft looking at him with a mixture of respect and maternal benignity Then you can tell Missy all those wonderful stories only dont frighten her
Perhaps I might She seems rather shy of me And the adventurous young gentleman eyed askance a small beribboned child who was creeping about the room and staring at him Would it not be better if——
If mamma went
There Missy dont cry mamma will go and Agatha too if she would like it
Certainly Miss Bowen answered with a mischievous glance at Nathanael I ought to investigate bears if only to prove myself descended from a Pawnee Indian
So once more the heavy nutbrown curls were netted up into the crown of her black bonnet and her shawl pinned on carelessly—rather too carelessly for a young woman since that gracious adornment neatness rarely increases with years Agatha was quickly ready In the ten minutes she had to wait for Mrs Thornycroft she felt more than once how much merrier they would have been with the elder than the younger brother Also—for Agatha was a conscientious girl—she thought seriously what a pity it was that so pleasant and kind a man as Major Harper had such an unfortunate habit of forgetting his promises
Yet she regretted him—regretted his flow of witty sayings that attracted the humorous half of her temperament and his touches of seriousness or sentiment which hovered like pleasant music round the yetclosed portals of her girlish heart Until suddenly—conscientiousness again—she began to be aware she was thinking a deal too much of Major Harper so with a strong effort turned her attention to his brother and the bears
She had leant on Mr Harpers offered arm all the way to the Regents Park yet he had scarcely spoken to her No wonder therefore that she had had time for meditation or that her comparison between the two brothers should be rather to Nathanaels disadvantage The balance of favour however began to right itself a little when she saw how kind he was to Emma Thornycroft who alternately screamed at the beasts and made foolish remarks concerning them also how carefully he watched over little Missy and James the latter of whom with infantile pertinacity would poke his small self into every possible danger
At the sunken den where the big brown bear performs gymnastic exercises on a centre tree Master Jemmie was quite in his glory He emulated Bruin by climbing from his feet into nurses arms—thence into mammas and lastly much to her discomfiture into Miss Bowens The attraction being that she happened to stand close to the railing and next to Mr Harper who with a bun stuck on the end of his long stick had coaxed Bruin up to the very top of the tree
There the creature swayed awkwardly his four unwieldy paws planted together and his great mouth silently snapping at the cakes Agatha could hardly help laughing she as well as the children was so much amused at the monster
Mr Harper give Missy your cane Missy would like to feed bear cried the mamma now very bold going with her eldest pet to the other side of the den and attracting the animal thither
At which little James who could not yet speak setting up a scream of vexation tried to stretch after the creature and whether from his own impetuosity or her careless hold sprang—oh horror—right out of Agathas arms A moment the little muslin frock caught on the railing—caught—ripped then the sash with its long knotted ends which some one snatched at—nothing but the sash held up the shrieking child who hung suspended half way over the pit in reach of the beasts very jaws
The bear did not at once see it till startled by the mothers frightful cries Then he opened his teeth—it looked almost like a grin—and began slowly to descend his tree while as slowly the poor childs sash was unloosing with its weight
A murmur of horror ran through the people near but not a man among them offered help They all slid back except Nathanael Harper
Agatha felt his sudden gripe Hold my hand firm Keep me in my balance he whispered and throwing himself over to the whole extent of his body and long right arm managed to catch hold of James who struggled violently
Hold me tight—tighter still or we are lost said he trying to writhe back again his hand—such a little delicate hand it seemed for a man—quivering with the weight of the child
She grasped him frantically—his wrist—his shoulder—nay—stretching over linked her arms round his neck Something in her touch seemed to impart strength to him He whispered half gasping—
Hold me firm and Ill do it yet Agatha She did not then notice or recollect till long afterwards how he had called her by her Christian name nor the tone in which he had said it
The moment afterwards he had lifted the child out of the den and poor Jemmie was screaming out his now harmless terror safe in the maternal arms
Then and not till then Agatha burst into tears Tears which no one saw for the mother hugging her baby was the very centre of a sympathising crowd Mr Harper paler than ordinary leaned against the stonework of the den
Oh from what have you saved me cried Agatha as after her thankfulness for the rescued life came another thought personal yet excusable Had Emma lost the child I should have felt like a murderess to the day of my death
Nathanael shook his head trying to smile but seemed unable to speak
You have not hurt yourself
Oh no Very little Only a strain said he as he removed his hand from his side Go to your friend I will come presently
He did come—though not for a good while and Miss Bowen fancied from his looks that he had been more injured than he acknowledged but she did not like to inquire Nevertheless he rose greatly in her estimation less for his courage than for the presence of mind and common sense which made it Valuable and for the selfrestraint and indifference which caused him afterwards to treat the whole adventure as such a trifling thing
It was after all nothing very romantic or extraordinary and happened in such a brief space of time that probably the circumstance is not noted in the traditionary chronicles of the Zoological Gardens which contain the frightful legend carefully related that day by several keepers to Mrs Thornycroft—how a bear had actually eaten up a child falling in the same manner into the same den
But the adventure slight as it may appear made a very great and sudden difference in the slender tie of acquaintanceship hitherto subsisting between Agatha and Major Harpers brother She began to treat Nathanael more like a friend and ceased to think of him exactly as a boy
Master Jamess mamma when she at last turned her attention from his beloved small self was full of thanks to his preserver Mr Harper assured her that his feat was merely a little exertion of muscular strength and at last grew evidently uncomfortable at being made so much of Returning home with them he would fain have crept away from the scene of his honours but the goodnatured motherlyhearted Emma implored him to stay
We will nurse you if you are hurt which I am afraid you must be—it was such a dreadful strain Oh Jemmie Jemmie and the poor mother shuddered
Indeed you must come in added Miss Bowen kindly seeing that Emmas thoughts were floating away as appeared this time natural enough to her own concerns You shall rest all the evening and we will talk to you and be very very agreeable Pray yield
Nathanael argued no more but went in quite lamblike as Mrs Thornycroft afterwards declared
This acquiescence in him was little rewarded Agatha thought—for the evening happened to be duller even than evenings usually passed at the Thornycrofts The head of the household being detained in the City did not appear and Mrs Thornycrofts tongue unchecked by her husbands presence and excited by the event of the afternoon galloped on at a fearful rapidity She poured out upon the luckless young man all the baby biography of her family from Missys christening down to the infant Selinas cutting of her first tooth To all of which he listened with a praiseworthy attention giving at least silence which was doubtless all the answer Emma required
But Agatha whose sympathy in these things was as before said at present small grew half ashamed half vexed and finally rather angry—especially when she saw the pale weariness that gradually overspread Mr Harpers face More than once she hinted that he should have the armchair or lie down or rest in some way but he took not the least notice sitting immovably in his place which happened to be next herself and vaguely looking across the table towards Mrs Thornycroft
At nine oclock becoming paler than ever he bestirred himself and talked of leaving
I ought to be going too It is not far and as our roads agree I will walk with you said Agatha simply
He seemed surprised—so much so that she almost blushed and would have retracted save for the consciousness of her own frank and kindly purpose She had watched him closely and felt convinced that he had been more injured than he confessed so in her generous straightforward fashion she wanted to take care of him until he was safe at his brothers door which she could see from her own And her solitary education had been conducted on such unworldly principles that she never thought there was anything remarkable or improper in her proposing to walk home with a young man whom she knew she could trust in every way and who was besides Major Harpers brother
Nor did even the matronly Mrs Thornycroft object to the plan—save that it took her visitors away so early Surely she added you cant be tired out already
Agatha had an ironical answer on the very tip of her tongue but something in the clear good eye of Nathanael repressed her little wickedness So she only whispered to Emma that for various reasons she had wished to return early
Very well dear since you must go I am sure Mr Harper will be most happy to escort you
If not I hope he will just say so added Agatha very plainly
He smiled and his full soft grey eye fixed on hers had an earnestness which haunted her for many a day She began heartily to like Major Harpers brother though only as his brother with a sort of reflected regard springing from that she felt for her guardian and friend
This consciousness made her manner perfectly easy cheerful and kind even though they were in the perilously sentimental position of two young people strolling home together in the soft twilight of a Midsummer evening likewise occasionally stopping to look westward at a new moon which peered at them round streetcorners and through the open spaces of darkening squares But nothing could make these two at all romantic or interesting their talk on the road was on the most ordinary topics—chiefly bears
You seem quite familiar with wild beast life Agatha observed Were you a very great hunter
Not exactly for I never could muster up the courage or the cowardice wantonly to take away life I dont remember ever shooting anything except in selfdefence which was occasionally necessary during the journeys that I used to make from Montreal to the Indian settlements with Uncle Brian
Uncle Brian repeated Agatha wondering whether Major Harper had ever mentioned such a personage during the two years of their acquaintance She thought not since her memory had always kept tenacious record of what he said about his relatives—which was at best but little It was one of the few things in him which jarred upon Agathas feelings—Agatha to whose isolation the idea of a family and a home was so pathetically sweet—his seeming so totally indifferent to his own All she knew of Major Harpers kith and kin was that he was the eldest brother of a large family settled somewhere down in Dorsetshire
These thoughts swept through her mind as Agatha repeated interrogatively Uncle Brian
The same who fifteen years since took me out with him to America my fathers youngest brother Has Frederick never told you of him They two were great companions once
Oh indeed And Agatha seeing that Nathanael at least showed no dislike but rather pleasure in speaking of his family thought she might harmlessly indulge her curiosity about the Harpers of Dorsetshire And you went away with Mr Brian Harper at ten years old How could your mother part with you
She was dead—she died when I was born But I ought to apologise for thus talking of family matters which cannot interest you
On the contrary they do—very much cried Agatha and then blushed at her own earnestness at which Nathanael brightened up into positive warmth
How kind you are how I wish you knew my sisters It is so pleasant to me to know them at last after writing to them and thinking about them for these many years How you would like our home—I call it home forgetting that I have been only a visitor and in a short time must go back to my real home Montreal
Must you indeed And Agatha felt sorry She had been at once surprised and gratified by the confidential way in which this usually reserved young man talked to her and her alone Why do you live in America I hate Americans
Do you said he smiling as if he read her thoughts But I have neither Yankee blood nor education I was English born brought up in British Canada and by Uncle Brian
He spoke the latter words with a certain proud affection as if his uncles mere name were sufficient guarantee for himself Agatha secretly wondered what could possibly be the reason that Major Harper had never even mentioned this personage whom Nathanael seemed to hold in such honour
Of course he continued though I dearly like England though—and he sunk his voice a little—though now it will be doubly hard to go away I could never think of leaving Uncle Brian to spend his old age alone in the country of his adoption
No no returned Agatha absently her thoughts still running on this new Mr Harper What profession is he
Nothing now He has led an unsettled life—always poor But he took care to settle me in a situation under the Canadian Government We both think ourselves well to do now
Agathas sense of womanly decorum could hardly keep her from pressing her companions arm in instinctive acknowledgment of his goodness She thought his face looked absolutely beautiful
However restraining her quick impulses within the bounds of propriety she walked on And so you will again cross that fearful Atlantic Ocean she said at length with a slight shudder The young man saw her gesture and looked surprised—nay gladdened But nevertheless he remained silent
Agatha did the same for the mention of the sea brought back to her the one only noteworthy incident of her life which had given her this strange antipathy to the sea and to the thought of traversing it But this subject—the horrible bugbear of her childhood—she rarely liked to recur to even now so it did not mingle in her conversation with Mr Harper
At last Nathanael said I would it were possible—indeed I have often vainly tried—to persuade Uncle Brian to come back to England But since he will not it is clearly right for me to return to Canada Anne Valery says so
Anne Valery again repeated Agatha catching at this second strange name with which she was supposed to be familiar
What did you never hear of her—my fathers ward my sisters chief friend—quite one of the family Is it possible that my brother never spoke to you of Anne Valery
No certainly not Agatha was quite sure of that The circumstance of Major Harpers having a friend who bore the very suspicious and romanticallyinteresting name of Anne Valery could never have slipped Miss Bowens memory She answered Nathanaels question in an abrupt negative but all the way through Russell Square she silently pondered as to who or what like Anne Valery could be finally sketching a fancy portrait of a bewitching young creature with blue eyes and golden hair—the style of beauty which Agatha most envied because it was most unlike herself
Ere reaching Dr Iansons door her attention was called to Mr Harper whose feet dragged so wearily along that Agatha was convinced that in spite of his efforts to conceal it he was seriously ill Her womanly sympathy rose—she earnestly pressed him to come in and consult Dr Ianson
No—no Uncle Brian and I always cure ourselves As he often says A man after forty is either a doctor or a fool
But you are only twentyfive
Ay but I have seen enough to make me often feel like a man of forty said he smiling Do not mind me That strain was rather too much but I shall be all right in a day or two
I hope so cried Agatha anxiously since did you suffer I should feel as if it were all of my causing and for me
Do you think I should regret that said the young man in a tone so low that its meaning scarcely reached her Then as if alarmed at his own words he shook hands with her hastily and walked down the square
Agatha thought how different was the abrupt singular manner of Nathanael from Major Harpers tender lingering courteous adieu Nevertheless she fulfilled her kind purpose towards the young man and running to her own window watched his retreating figure till her mind was relieved by seeing him safely enter his brothers door
CHAPTER III
A week—nay more than a week slipped by in the customary monotony of that large placidly genteel Bedford Square house and Agatha heard nothing of the house round the corner which constituted one of the faint few interests of her existence Sometimes she felt vexed at the lengthened absence of her friend and guardian as she persisted in considering him sometimes the thought of young Nathanaels pale face crossed her fancy awakening both sincere compassion and an uncomfortable doubt that all might not be going on quite right within the halfdrawn windowblinds at which she now and then darted a curious glance
At last her curiosity or interest rose to such a pitch that it is to be feared that Agatha in her independent spirit and ignorance of or indifference to the world might have committed the terrific impropriety of making a goodnatured inquiry at the door of this bachelorestablishment She certainly would had it consisted only of the harmless youth Nathanael but then Major Harper at the mention of whose name Mrs Ianson now began to smile aside and the invalid Jane to dart towards Agatha quick inquisitive looks—No she felt an invincible repugnance to knocking on any pretence at Major Harpers door
However having nothing to do and little to think of and moreover being under the unwholesome necessity of keeping all her thoughts to herself her conjectures grew into such a mountain of discomfort—partly selfish partly generous out of the hearty gratitude which had been awakened in her towards the younger brother since the adventure with the bear—that Miss Bowen set off one fine morning hoping to gain intelligence of her neighbours by the roundabout medium of Emma Thornycroft
But that excellent matron had had two of her children ill with some infantine disease and had in consequence not a thought to spare for any one out of her own household The name of Harper never crossed her lips until Agatha using a safe plural boldly asked the question Had Emma seen anything of them
Mrs Thorny croft could not remember—Yes she fancied some one had called—Mr Harper perhaps or no it must have been the Major for somebody had said something about Mr Nathanaels being ill or out of town But the very day after that the measles came out on James and poor little Missy had just been moved out of the nightnursery into the spare bedroom etc etc etc
The rest of Emmas information concerning her babies was as they say in the advertisements of lost property of no value to anybody but the original owner
Agatha bestowed a passing regret on young Nathanael whether he were ill or out of town she would have liked to have seen more of him But that Major Harper should contrive to saunter up to the Regents Park to visit the Thornycrofts and never find time to turn a streetcorner to say How dye do to her she thought neither courteous nor kind
There was little inducement to spend the day with Emma who in her present mood and the state of her household was a mere conversational Dr Buchan—a walking epitome of domestic medicine So Miss Bowen extended her progress took an early dinner with Mrs Hill and stayed all the afternoon at that good old ladys silent and quiet lodgings where there was neither piano nor books save one which Agatha patiently read aloud for two whole hours—The life of Elizabeth Fry A volume uninteresting enough to a young creature like herself yet sometimes smiting her with involuntary reflections as she contrasted her own aimless useless existence with the life of that worthy Quakeress—the prisonangel
Having tired herself out first with reading and then with singing—very prosy and lengthy ballads of the old school which were the ditties Mrs Hill always chose—Agatha departed much more cheerful than she came So great strength and comfort is there in having something to do especially if that something happens to be according to the old nurseryrhyme—
Not for ourself but our neighbour
Another day passed—which being rainy made the Doctors dull house seem more inane than ever to the girls restless humour In the evening at his oldaccustomed hour Major Harper dropped in and Agatha forgot his sins of omission in her cordial welcome Very cordial it was and unaffected such as a young girl of nineteen may give to a man of forty without her meaning being illconstrued But under it Major Harper looked pathetically sentimental and uncomfortable Very soon he moved away and became absorbed in delicate attentions towards the sick and suffering Jane Ianson
Agatha thought his behaviour rather odd but generously put upon it the best construction possible—viz his known kindheartedness So she herself went to the other side of the invalid couch and tried to make mirth likewise
Asking after Mr Harper she learnt that her friend had been acting as sicknurse to his brother for some days
Poor fellow—he will not confess that he is ill or what made him so But I hope he will be about again soon for they are anxiously expecting him in Dorsetshire Nathanael is the good boy of our family and as worthy a creature as ever breathed
Agatha smiled with pleasure to see the elder brother waxing so generously warm but when she smiled Major Harper sighed and cast his handsome eyes another way All the evening he scarcely talked to her at all but to Mrs and Miss Ianson Agatha was quite puzzled by this pointed avoidance not to say incivility and had some thoughts of plainly asking him if he were vexed with her but womanly pride conquered girlish frankness and she was silent
After tea their quartett was broken by a visitor whom all seemed astonished to see and none more so than Major Harper
Why Nathanael I thought you were safely disposed of with your sofa and book What madness makes you come out tonight
Inclination and weariness returned the other indifferently as without making more excuses or apologies he dragged himself to the armchair which Miss Bowen goodnaturedly drew out for him and slipped into the circle quite naturally
Well wilful lads must have their way cried his brother and I am only too glad to see you so much better
With that the flow of the Majors winning conversation recommenced in which current all the rest of the company lay like silent pebbles only too happy to be bubbled round by such a pleasant and refreshing stream
The younger Harper sat in his armchair leaning his forehead on his hand and from under that curve now and then looking at them all especially Agatha
At a late hour the brothers went away leaving Mrs and Miss Ianson in a state of extreme delight and Miss Bowen in a mood that to say the least was thoughtful—more thoughtful than usual
After that lively evening followed three dull days consisting of a solitary forenoon an afternoon walk through the squares dinner backgammon and bed the next morning de capo al fine and so on a dance of existence as monotonous as that of the spheres and not half so musical On the fourth day while Miss Bowen was out walking Nathanael Harper called to take leave before his journey to Dorsetshire He stayed some time waiting Agathas return Mrs Ianson thought but finally changed his mind and made an abrupt departure for which that young lady was rather sorry than otherwise
The fifth day Emma Thornycroft appeared and strange to say without any of her little ones still stranger without many references to them on her lips except the general information that they were all getting well now
The busy woman evidently had something on her mind and plunged at once in médias res
Agatha dear I came to have a little talk with you
Very well said Agatha smiling calmly and prepared to give up her morning to the discussion of some knotty point in dress or infantile education But she soon perceived that Emmas pretty face was too ominously important for anything short of that gravest interest of feminine life—matrimony or more properly in this case—matchmaking
Agatha love repeated Emma with the affectionate accent that was always quite real but which now deepened under the circumstances of the case do you know that young Northen has been speaking to Mr Thornycroft about you again
I am very sorry for it was the short answer
But my dearisnt it a great pity that you could not like the young man Such a good young man too and with such a nice establishment already If you could only see his house in Cumberland Terrace—the real Turkey carpets inlaid tables and damask chairs
But I cant marry carpets tables and chairs
Agatha you are so funny Certainly not without the poor man himself But there is no harm in him and I am sure he would make an excellent husband
I sincerely hope so provided he is not mine Come Tittens tell Mrs Thornycroft what you think on the matter cried the wilful girl trying to turn the question off by catching her little favourite But Emma would not thus be set aside She was evidently well primed with a stronger and steadier motive than what usually occupied and sufficed her easy mind
Ah how can you be so childish But when you come to my age—
I shall in a few more years I wonder if I shall be as younglooking as you Emma This was a very adroit thrust on the part of Miss Agatha but for once it failed
I hope and trust so dear That is if you have as good a husband as I have Only be he what he may he cannot be such another as my dear James
Agatha internally hoped he might not for much as she liked and respected Emmas good spouse her ideal of a husband was certainly not Mr James Thornycroft
Tell me continued the anxious matron keeping up the charge—tell me Agatha do you ever intend to marry at all
Perhaps so I cant say Ask Tittens
Did you ever think in earnest of marrying And—here with an air of real concern Emma stole her arm round her friends waist—did you ever see anybody whom you fancied you could like if he asked you
Agatha laughed but the colour was rising in her brown cheek Tut tut what nonsense
Look at me dear and answer seriously
Agatha thus hemmed in turned her face full round and said with some dignity I do not know Emma what right you have to ask me that question
Ah it is so I feared it was sighed Emma not in the least offended I often thought so even before he hinted———
Who hinted—and what
I cant tell you I promised not And of course you ought not to know Oh dear what am I letting out added poor Mrs Thornycroft in much discomfiture
Emma you will make me angry What ridiculous notion have you got into your head What on earth do you mean cried Miss Bowen speaking quicker than her usual quick fashion and dashing the kitten off her knee as she rose
Dont be vexed with me my poor dear girl It may not be so—I hope not and even if it were he is so handsome so agreeable and talks so beautifully—I am sure you are not the first woman by many a dozen that has been in love with him
With whom was the sharp question as Agatha grew quite pale
I must not say—Ah yes—I must It may be a mere supposition I wish you would only tell me so and set my mind at rest and his too He is quite unhappy about it poor man as I see Though to be sure he could not help it even if you did care for him
Him—what him
Major Harper
Agathas storm of passion sank to a dead calm She sat down again composedly turning her flushed cheeks from the light
This is a new and very entertaining story You will be kind enough Emma to tell me the whole from beginning to end
It all lies in a nutshell my dear Oh how glad I am that you take it so quietly Then perhaps it is all a mistake arising from your hearty manner to every one I told him so and said that he need not scruple visiting you or be in the least afraid that——
That I was in love with him He was afraid then He informed you so Very kind of him I am very much obliged to Major Harper
There now—off you go again Oh if you would but be patient
Patient—when the only friend I had insults me—when I have neither father nor brother—nobody—nobody——
She stopped and her throat choked but the struggle was in vain she burst into uncontrollable tears
You have me Agatha always me and James cried Emma hanging about her neck and weeping for company until very soon the proud girl shut down the floodgates of her passion and became herself again Herself—as she could not have been were there a mightier power dwelling in her heart than pride
Now Emma since you have seen how the thing has vexed me though not—and she laughed—not as being one of the many dozens of fools in love with Major Harper—will you tell me how this amusing circumstance arose
I really cannot my dear The whole thing was so hurried and confused We were talking together very friendly and sociably as the Major and I always do about you and how much I wished you to be settled in life as he must wish likewise being the trustee of your little fortune and standing in a sort of fatherly relation towards you He did not seem to like the word looked very grave and very—
Compassionate doubtless Said he had reason to believe that is to fear I did not regard him quite as a father That was it Emma I suppose
Well my dear I am glad to see you laughing at it I dont remember his precise words
Probably these My dear Mrs Thornycroft I am greatly afraid poor Agatha Bowen is dying for love of me Very candid—and like a gentleman
Now you are too sarcastic for he is a gentleman and most kindhearted too If you had only seen how grieved he was at the bare idea of your being made unhappy on his account
How considerate—and how very confidential he must have been to you
Nay he hardly said anything plainly I assure you he did not Only somehow he gave me the impression that he was afraid of—what I had feared for a long time For as I always told you Agatha Major Harper is a settled bachelor—too old to change Besides he has had so many women in love with him
Does he count their names one by one on his fingers and hang their locks of hair on his paletot after the Indian fashion Nathanael Harper told us of—Poor Nathanael And on her excited mood that pale good face rose up like a vision of serenity She ceased to mock so bitterly at Nathanaels brother and her own oncehonoured friend
I dont like your abusing Major Harper in this way said Emma gravely we all know his little weaknesses but he is an excellent man and my husband likes him And it is nothing so very wonderful if he has been rather confidential with a steady married woman like me—just the right person in short It was for your good too my dear I am sure I asked him plainly if he ever could think of marrying you But he shook his head and answered No that was quite impossible
Quite impossible indeed said Agatha her proud lips quivering And should he favour you with any more confidences you may tell him that Agatha Bowen never knew what it was to be in love with any man Likewise that were he the only man on earth she would not condescend to fall in love with or marry Major Frederick Harper—Now Emma let us go down to lunch
They would have done so after Mrs Thornycroft had kissed and embraced her friend in sincere delight that Agatha was quite heartwhole and ready to make what she called a sensible marriage but they were stopped on the stairs by a letter that came by post
A strange hand Miss Bowen observed carelessly Will you go downstairs Emma and I will come when I have read it
But Agatha did not read it She threw it on the floor and turning the bolt of the door paced her little drawingroom in extreme agitation
I am glad I did not love him—I thank God I did not love him she muttered by fits But I might have done so so good and kind as he was and I so young with no one to care for And no one cares for me—no one—no one
Young Northen darted through her mind but she laughed to scorn the possibility What love could there be in an emptyheaded fool
Never any but fools have ever made love to me Oh if an honest noble man did but love me and I could marry and get out of this friendless desolation this contemptible scheming matchmaking set where I and my feelings are talked of speculated on bandied about from house to house It is horrible—horrible But Ill not cry No
She dried the tears that were scorching her eyes and mechanically took up her letter until remembering how long she had been upstairs and how all that time Emmas transparent disposition and love of talk might have laid her and her whole affairs open before the Iansons she quickly put the epistle in her pocket unread and went down into the diningroom
It was not till night when she sat idly brushing out her long curls and looking at her Pawnee face in the mirror—alas the poor face now seemed browner and uglier than ever—that Agatha recollected this same letter
It may give me something to think about which will be well sighed she and carelessly pushing her hair behind her ears she drew the candle nearer and began leisurely to read
She Began Leisurely to Read P036
The commencement was slightly abrupt
A month ago—had any one told me I should write this letter I could not have believed it possible But strange things happen in our lives—things over which we seem to have no control we are swept on by an impulse and a power which most often guide us for our good I hope it may be so now
I came to England with no intention save that of seeing my family and no affection in my heart stronger than for them Living the solitary life that Uncle Brian leads I have met with few women and have never loved any woman—until now
You may think me a boy indeed I overheard you say so once but I am a man—with a heart full of all a mans emotions passionate and strong Into that heart I took you from the first moment I ever saw your face This is just three weeks ago but it might have been three years—I know you so well I have watched you continually every trait of your character—every thought of your mind From other people I have found out every portion of your history—every daily action of your life I know you wholly and completely faults and all and—I love you No man will ever love you more than I
That you should have the least interest in me now is I am aware unlikely indeed almost impossible therefore I shall not expect or desire any answer to this letter sent just before I leave for Dorsetshire
On my return a week hence I shall come and see you should you not forbid it I shall come merely as a friend so that you need have no scruple in my visiting you once at least If afterwards when you know me better you should suffer me to ask for another title giving to you the dearest and closest that man can give to woman—then—oh little you think how I would love you Agatha
Nathanael Locke Harper
Agatha read this letter all through with a kind of fascination Her first emotion was that of most utter astonishment It had never crossed her mind that Nathanael Harper was the sort of being very likely to fall in love with anybody—and for him to love her With such a love too that despite its suddenness carried with it the impression of quiet depth strength and endurance irresistible It was beyond belief
She read over again fragments of his own words I took you into my heart from the first moment I ever saw you—I love you—no man will ever love you more than I Little you think how I would love you Agatha
Agatha—who a minute before had been pondering mournfully that no one cared for her—that she was of no use to any one—and that no living soul would miss her were her existence blotted out from the face of earth that very night
She began to tremble ay even though she felt that Nathanael had judged correctly—that she did not now love him and probably never might—still overwhelmed with the sudden sense of his great love she trembled A strange softness crept over her and for the second time that day she yielded to a weakness only drawn from her proud heart by rare emotions—Agatha wept
CHAPTER IV
To say that Agatha Bowen slept but ill that night would be unnecessary since there is probably no girl who did not do so after receiving a first loveletter And this was indeed her first for the commonplace and businesslike episode of young Northen had not been beautified by any such compositions A second harmless adventure of like kind had furnished her with a little amusement and some vexation—but never till now had her girlish heart been approached by any wooing which she could instinctively feel was that of real love It touched her very much for a time absorbing all distinct resolutions or intentions in a maze of pleasant tender pity and wonderment not unmixed with fear
Half the night she lay awake planning what she should do and say in the future writing in her head a dozen imaginary answers to Mr Harpers letter until she recollected that he had expressly stated it required none Nevertheless she thought she must write if only to tell him that she did not love him and that there was not the slightest use in his hoping to be anything more to her than a friend
A friend She recoiled at the word remembering how sorely her pride and feelings had been wounded by him she once held to be the best friend she had She never could hold him as such any more Her impulsive anger exaggerated even to wickedness the vanity of a man who fancied every woman was in love with him She forgot all Major Harpers good qualities his high sense of honour his unselfish kindheartedness his generous gay spirit She set him down at once as unworthy the name of friend Then—what friend had she Not one—not one in the world
In this strait strangely temptingly sweet seemed to come the words I love you no man will ever love you better than I
To one whose heart is altogether free the knowledge of being deeply loved and by a man whose attachment would do honour to any woman is a thought so soothing so alluring that from it spring half the marriages—not strictly lovemarriages—which take place in the world sometimes though not always ending in real happiness
Agatha began to consider that it would seem very odd if she wrote to Mr Harper in his home among his family Perhaps his sisters might notice her handwriting—a useless fear since they had never seen it and at all events it would be a pity to trouble his happiness in that pleasant visit by conveying prematurely the news of his rejection She would wait and give him no answer for at least a day or two it was such a bitter thing to inflict pain on any human being especially on one so gentle and good as Nathanael Harper
With this determination she went to sleep She woke next morning having a confused sense that something had happened that some one had grieved and offended her and—strange consciousness softly dawning—that some one loved her—deeply dearly as in all the days since she was born she had never been loved before That even now some one might be thinking of her—of her alone as his first object in the world The sensation was new inexplicable but pleasant nevertheless It made her feel—what the desolate orphan girl rarely had felt—a sort of tenderness for and honouring of herself As she dressed she once looked wistfully even pensively in the lookingglass
It is certainly a queer brown Pawnee face I wonder what he could see in it to admire He is very good very I wish I could have cared for him
Her heart trembled all the woman in her was touched But Agatha was resolved not to be sentimental so she fastened her morningdress rather more tastefully than usual and descended to breakfast
Beside her plate lay a letter which was pretty closely eyed by the Ianson family as their inmates correspondence had always been remarkably small
A black edge and seal No bad news I hope my dear Miss Bowen said the doctors wife sympathetically
Agatha did not fear Alas in the whole wide world she had not a relative to lose And glancing at the rather peculiar hand she recognised it at once She remembered likewise to account for the black seal that one of the Miss Harpers had died within the year So whether from the spice of malice in her composition she wished to disappoint the polite inquisitiveness of the Iansons or whether from more generous reasons of her own Miss Bowen left her letter unopened until the meal was done when carelessly taking it up she adjourned to her own sittingroom
There was not the slightest necessity for any such precaution as the missive contained merely these lines—
In my letter of yesterday—which I doubt not you have received since I posted it myself—I omitted to say that not even my brother is aware of it or of its purport as I rarely inform any one of my own private affairs Though of course I presume not to lay the same restriction on you God bless you
The God bless you was added hastily in less neat writing as if the letter had been broken open to do it The signature was merely his initials N L H and the date Kingcombe Holm which Agatha supposed was his fathers house in Dorsetshire
Then even there amidst his dear home circle he had thought of her Agatha was more moved by that trifling circumstance and by the selfrestraint and silence that accompanied it than she would have been by a whole quire of ordinary loveletters
He did not write again during seven entire days and while this pause lasted she had time to think much and deeply She ceased to play and talk confidentially with Tittens and felt herself growing into a woman fast Great mental changes may at times be wrought in one week especially when it happens to be one of those not infrequent July weeks which seem as if the sky were bent upon raining out at once the tears of the whole summer
On the Friday evening when Miss Bowen heartily tired of her weatherbound imprisonment stood at the diningroom window looking out on a hazy yellow glow that began to appear in the west sparkled on the drenched trees of the square and made little bright reflections on the rainpools of the pavement—there appeared a gentleman from the house round the corner carefully picking his steps by the crossing and finally landing at Doctor Iansons door It was Major Harper
Agatha instinctively quitted the window but on second thoughts returned thither and when he chanced to look up composedly bowed
He was come to spend the evening as usual and she must meet him as usual too otherwise he might think—supposing he had not yet seen Emma Thornycroft or even if he had—might think—what made Agathas cheek burn like fire But she controlled herself The first vehemence of her pride and anger was over now She had discovered that the dawning inclination on which she had bestowed a few dreamings and sighings trying in foolish girlish fashion to fan a chance tinderspark into the holy altarfire of a womans first love—had gone out in darkness and that her free heart lay quiet in a sort of twilight shade waiting for its destiny nor for the last few days had she even thought of Nathanael His silence had as yet no power to grieve or surprise her if it struck her at all it was with the hope that perhaps his wooing might die out of itself and save her the trouble of a painful refusal She had begun to think—what girls of nineteen are very slow to comprehend—that there might be other things in the world besides love and its ideal dreams She had read more than usual—some sensible prose some loftyhearted poetry and was possibly a sadder and a wiser girl than she had been that day week
In this changed mood after a little burst of wellcontrolled temper a scornful pang and a slight trepidation of the heart Miss Agatha Bowen walked upstairs to the drawingroom to meet Major Harper
Her manner in so doing was most commendable and a worthy example to those young ladies who have to extinguish the tiny embers of a month or twos idle fancy created by an impressible nature by girlhoods frantic longing after unseen mysteries and by the terrible misfortune of having nothing to do But Miss Bowens demeanour so highly creditable cannot be set forward in words as it consisted in the very simplest mildest and politest How dye do
Major Harper met her with his accustomed pleasantly tender air until gradually he recollected himself looked pensive and subsided into coldness It was evident to Agatha that he could not have had any communication from Mrs Thornycroft She was growing vexed again alternating from womanly wrath to childish pettishness—for in her heart of hearts she had a deep and friendly regard for the noble half of her guardians character—when suddenly she decided that it was wisest to leave the room and take refuge in indifference and her piano There she stayed for certainly an hour
At length Major Harper came softly into her sittingroom
Dont let me disturb you—but when you have quite finished playing I should like to say a word to you—Merely on business he added with a slightly confused manner unusual to the perfect selfpossession of Major Harper
Agatha sat down and faced him so frigidly that he seemed to withdraw from the range of her eyes You do not often converse with me on business
He drew back That is true But I considered that with so young a lady as yourself it was needless—And I hate all business he added imperatively
Then I regret that my father burdened you with mine
No burden it is a pleasure—if by any means I can be of use to you Believe me my dear Miss Bowen your advantage your security is my chief aim And therefore in this investment of which I think it right to inform you——
Investment she repeated turning round a childish puzzled face Oh Major Harper you know I am quite ignorant of these things Do let us talk of something else
With all my heart he responded evidently much relieved and turned the somewhat awkward conversation to the first available topic which chanced to be his brother Nathanael
You cannot think how much I miss him in my rooms even though he was such a short time with me An excellent lad is N L and I hear they are making so much of him in Dorsetshire They tell me he will certainly stay there the whole three months of his leave
Oh indeed observed Agatha briefly She hardly knew whether to be pleased or sorry at this news or by doubting it to take a feminine pride in being so much better informed on the subject than the Harper family
No wonder he is so happy continued the Major with one of his occasional looks of momentary though real sadness Fifteen years is a long time to be away Though I fear I myself have been almost as long without seeing the whole family together
Are they all together now—Agatha felt an irresistible desire to ask questions
I believe so at least my father and my three unmarried sisters Old bachelors and old maids are plentiful in the Harper family We are all stiffnecked animals we eschew even gilded harness
Agathas cheek glowed with anger at this supposed benevolent warning to herself
I dare say your sisters are very happy nevertheless marriage is not always a holy estate said she carelessly But there was some other Dorsetshire lady whom Mr Harper told me of Who is Anne Valery
Major Frederick Harper actually started and the deep sensitive colour which not even his forty years and his long worldly experience could quite keep down rose in his handsome face
So N L spoke to you of her No wonder She is an—an excellent person
An excellent person repeated Agatha mischievously Then she is rather elderly I conclude
Elderly—Anne Valery elderly By Heavens no And the excited Major used the solitary asseveration which clung to him the last trace of his brief military experience Anne Valery old Not a day older than myself We were companions as boy and girl young man and young woman until—stay—ten—fifteen years ago Fifteen years—ah yes—I suppose she would be considered elderly now
After this burst Major Harper sank into one of his cloudy moods At last he said in a confidential and rather sentimental tone Miss Valery is an excellent lady—an old friend of our family but she and I have not met for many years Circumstances necessitated our parting
Circumstances
Agatha guessed the truth—or fancied she did and her wrathful pride was up again More trophies of the illustrious Fredericks unwilling slaughters—more hearts blood dyeing the wheels of this unconscious Juggernaut of female devotees Yet there he sat looking so pathetically regretful as if he felt himself the blameless helpless instrument of fate to work the sentimental woe of all womankind Agatha was absolutely dumb with indignation
She was a little unjust even were he erring It is often a great misfortune but it is no blame to a good man that good women—more than one—have loved him if as all noble men do he hides the humiliation or sorrow of their love sacredly in his own heart and makes no boast of it Of this nobility of character—rare indeed yet not unknown or impossible—Frederick Harper just fell short Kind clever and amusing he might be but he was a man not sufficiently great to be humble
No more was said on the mysterious topic of Miss Anne Valery Agatha was too angry and the subject seemed painful to Major Harper Though he did what was not his habit—especially with female friends—he endeavoured instead of encouraging to throw off his momentary sentimentality and become his usual witty cheerful agreeable self
Miss Bowen even in her tenderest inclinings towards her guardian had at times thought him a little too talkative—a little too much of the brilliant man of the world Now in her bitterness against him his gaiety was positively offensive to her She rose and proposed that they should quit her own private room for the general drawingroom of the family
The Iansons were all there even the Doctor being prone to linger in his dull home for the pleasure of Major Harpers delightful company There was another too the unexpected sight of whom made both Agatha and her companion start
As she and the Major entered there arose almost like an apparition from his seat in the windowrecess the tall slight figure of Nathanael
N L Where on earth have you dropped from What a very extraordinary fellow you are cried the elder brother
Perhaps unwelcome also said the quiet voice
Unwelcome—never my dear boy Only next time do be a little more confidential Here have I been telling a whole string of apparent fibs about your movements—have I not Miss Bowen Do you not consider this brother of mine the most eccentric creature in the world
Agatha looked up and met the young mans eyes Their expression could not be mistaken they were lovers eyes—such as never in her life she had met before They seemed constraining her to do what out of pity or mechanical impulse she at once did—silently to hold out her hand
Nathanael took it with his usual manner There was no other greeting on his part or hers Immediately afterwards he slipped away to the very farthest corner of the room
It would be hard to say whether Agatha felt relieved or disappointed at his behaviour but surprised she most certainly was This was not the sort of lovers meeting of girlish imaginings nor was he the sort of lover so perfectly unobtrusive selfrestrained and coldly calm She was glad she had not been at the pains to write the romantically pitiful tender refusal which she had concocted sentence by sentence in her deeplytouched heart during that first wakeful night He did not seem half miserable enough to need such wondrous compassion
Freed in a measure from constraint she became her own natural self as women rarely indeed never are in the presence of those they love or of those by whom they believe themselves loved Neither unpleasant consciousness rested heavily on Agatha now her demeanour was therefore very sweet candid and altogether pleasing
Major Harper even forgot his benevolent precautions on Miss Bowens account and tried to render himself as agreeable as heretofore talking away at a tremendous rate and with most admirable eloquence while his brother sat silent in a corner The contrast between them was never so strong But once or twice Agatha wearied out with laughing and listening stole a look towards the figure that she felt was sitting there and encountered the only sign Nathanael gave—the unmistakeable lovers eyes They seemed to pierce into her heart and make it quiver—not exactly with tenderness but with the strange controlling sense by which the love of a strong nature reticent and selfpossessed even in its utmost passion—at times appears to enfold a woman—and any true affection whether of lover or friend to those who have never known it and are unconsciously pining for lack of it comes at first like water in a thirsty land
Miss Bowens frank gaiety died slowly away and she fell into more than one long reverie which did not escape the benign notice of her guardian He grew serious and made an attempt to remove from her his own dangerous proximity
Come N L it is time we vanished You have never told me the least fragment of news from home—that is from Kingcombe
You were too much engaged brother But we have plenty of time
Kingcombe is that the place your father lives at said Mrs lanson who took a patronising interest in the young man What a pretty name Were you aware of it Miss Bowen
Agatha for her life could not help changing colour as she answered Yes knowing perfectly well who was watching her the while and that he and she were thinking of the same thing namely the brief note whose date was her only information as to the family residence of the Harpers
Kingcombe is as pretty as its name observed the elder brother—a name more peculiar than at first seems It was given by a loyal Harper during the Protectorate It had been St Marys Abbey but he with pretended sanctimoniousness changed the name and called it Kingcombe Holm as a gentle hint from the Dorsetshire coast to Prince Charles over the water Ah a clever fellow was my greatgreatgrandfather Geoffrey Harper
All laughed at the anecdote and the Iansons looked with additional respect on the man who thus carelessly counted his grandfathers up to the Commonwealth But Mrs Iansons curiosity penetrated even to the Harpers of Queen Victorias day
Indeed we cant let you two gentlemen away so early If you have family matters to talk over suppose we send you for halfanhour to Miss Bowens drawingroom or if they are not secrets pray discuss them here I am sure we are all greatly interested are we not Miss Bowen
Agatha made some unintelligible answer She thought Nathanaels quick eyes darted from her to Mrs lanson and back again as if to judge whether youngladylike she had told his secret to all her female friends But there was something in Agathas countenance which marked her out as that rare character a woman who can hold her tongue—even in a love affair
After a minute she looked at Mr Harper gravely kindly as if to say You need not fear—I have not betrayed you and meeting her candid eyes his suspicions vanished He drew nearer to the circle and began to talk
Mrs lanson is very kind but we need not hold any such solemn conclave Frederick said he smiling All the news that I did not unfold in my letter of yesterday I can tell you now I would like every one here to be interested in our good sisters and in all at home
Yes—oh yes responded the other mechanically Any messages for me
My father says he hopes to see you this autumn at Kingcombe He is growing an old man now
Ah indeed—An admirable man is my father Miss Bowen Quite a gentleman of the old school but peculiar—rather peculiar Well what else Nathanael
Elizabeth since Emilys death seems to have longed after you very much—You were the next eldest you know and she fancies you were always very like Emily She says it is so long since you have been to Kingcombe
It is such a dull place Besides I have seen them all elsewhere occasionally
All but Elizabeth and you know unless you go to Kingcombe you never can see Elizabeth said the younger brother gently
That is true—Poor dear soul Frederick answered looking grave Well I will go ere long
Perhaps at Eulalies wedding which I told you of
True—true Eulalie is the youngest Miss Harper as we should explain to our kind friends here—whom I hope we are not boring very much with our family reminiscences And Eulalie contrary to the usual custom of the Harpers is actually going to be married To a clergyman is he not N L—late Curate of Kingcombe parish
No—of Anne Valerys parish By the way you have not yet asked a single question about Anne Valery
The Majors aspect visibly changed In all the years of his acquaintance with the world he had not yet learnt the convenient art of being a physiognomical hypocrite Well never mind—I ask a dozen questions now How could I forget so excellent a friend of the family
She is indeed said Nathanael earnestly while a glow of pleasure or enthusiasm dyed his pale features and he even ceased his close watch over Agatha Though I was such a boy when I left I find I have kept a true memory of Anne Valery She is just the woman I always pictured her from my own remembrance and from Uncle Brians chance allusions though in general it was little enough he said of England or home I was quite surprised to hear from Elizabeth what a strong friendship used to exist between Uncle Brian yourself and Anne Valery
Major Harpers restlessness increased Really we are indulging our friends with our whole genealogy—uncles aunts and collateral branches included—which cannot be very interesting to Mrs and Miss Ianson or even to Miss Bowen however kindly she may be disposed towards the Harper family
The Iansons here made polite disclaimers but Agatha said nothing Immediately afterwards Nathanaels conversation likewise ebbed away into silence
The next time Agatha heard him speak was in answer to a sudden question of his brothers as to what had made him return to London so unexpectedly I thought you would have stayed at least three months
No he said in a low tone by that time I shall be far enough away
Why so
From circumstances which have lately arisen—he did not look at Agatha but she felt his meaning—I fear I must return to America at once
He said no more for his brother asked no more questions But the tidings jarred painfully on Agathas mind
He was then going away this man of so gentle true and noble nature—this the only man who loved her and whom while she thought of rejecting she had still hoped to retain as an honoured and dear friend He was going away and she might never see him more She felt grieved and her lonely unloved position rose up before her in more bitterness and more fear than it was wont to do She became as thoughtful and silent as Nathanael himself
Mr Harper never attempted to address her or attract her attention during all that strange long evening which comprised in itself so many slight circumstances so many conflicting states of feeling Almost the only word this very eccentric lover said to her was in a whisper just as his hand touched hers in bidding goodbye
As I am leaving England so soon may I come here again tomorrow
No not tomorrow and then her kind heart repenting of the evident pain she gave she added Well the day after tomorrow if you like But——
Whatever that forbidding but was meant to hint Nathanael did not stay to hear He was gone in a moment
However that night a chance word of Mrs Iansons did more for the suit of the unloved or only halfloved lover than he himself ever dreamed of
Well said that lady with sly matronly smile as showing more attention than usual she lighted Agathas candle for bed—Well my dear Miss Bowen is the wedding to be at my house
What wedding
Oh you know you know I have guessed it a long while but tonight—surely I may congratulate you Never was there a more charming man than Major Harper
Agatha looked furious Has he then—told you the lie he told to Emma—she was about to say but luckily checked herself Has he then been so premature as to give you this information
No oh of course not But the thing is as plain as light
You are mistaken Mrs Ianson He is one of my very kindest friends but I have never had the slightest intention of marrying Major Harper
With that she took her candle and walked slowly to her own room There with her door locked though that was needless since there was no welcome or unwelcome friendship likely to intrude on her utter solitude—she gave way to a womans wounded pride Added to this was the terror that seizes a helpless young creature who all supports taken away is at last set face to face with the cruel world without even the steadfastness given by a strong sorrow If she had really loved Frederick Harper perhaps her condition would have been more endurable than now
At length above the storm of passion there seemed floating an audible voice just as if the mind of him who she knew was always thinking of her then spoke to her mind with the wondrous communication that has often happened in dreams or waking between two who deeply loved A communication which appears both possible and credible to those who have felt any strong human attachment especially that one which for the sake of its object seems able to cross the bounds of distance time life or eternity
It was a thing that neither then or afterwards could she ever account for and years elapsed before she mentioned the circumstance to any one But while she lay weeping across her bed Agatha seemed to hear distinctly just as if it had been a voice gliding past the window halfmixing with the wind that was then rising the words
I love you No man will ever love you like me
That night before she slept her determination was taken
CHAPTER V
Next morning Miss Bowen astonished every one and excited once more Mrs Iansons incredulous smile by openly desiring the servant who waited to take a message for her to Major Harpers It was to the effect that she wished immediately to see that gentleman could he make it convenient to visit her
The message was given by her very distinctly and with most creditable calmness considering that the destinies of her whole life hung on the sentence
Major Harper appeared and was shown into Miss Bowens drawingroom She was not there and the Major waited rather uneasily for several minutes unaware that half of that time she had been standing without her hand on the lock of the door But her tremulousness was that of natural emotion not of fluctuating purpose No physiognomist studying Agathas mouth and chin would doubt the fact that though rather slow to will—when she had once willed scarcely anything had power to shake her resolution
She went in at last and bade Major Harper good morning I have sent for you she said to talk over a little business
Business—And the hesitation and discomfort which seemed to arise in him at the mere mention of the word again were visible in Major Harper
Not trust business—something quite different said Agatha scarcely able to help smiling at the alarm of her guardian
Then anything you like my dear Miss Bowen I have nothing in the world to do today That stupid brother of mine is worse company than none at all He said he had letters to write to Kingcombe and vanished upstairs The rude fellow But he is an excellent fellow too
So you have always said He appears to love his home and be much beloved there Is it so
Most certainly Already they know him better than they do me and care for him more though he has been away for fifteen years But then he has kept up a constant correspondence with them while I tossing about in the world—ah I have had a hard life Miss Bowen
He looked so sad that Agatha felt sorry for him But his melancholy moods had less power to touch her than of old His gaiety so quickly and invariably returned that her belief in the reality of his grief was somewhat shaken
She paused a little and then recurred again indifferently as it were to Nathanael—the one person in his family of whom Major Harper always spoke gladly and warmly
You seem to have a great love for your younger brother Is he then so noble a character
What do you call a noble character my dear young lady
The halfjesting halfpatronising manner irritated Agatha but she answered boldly
A man honest in his principles faithful to his word just generous and honourable
What a category of qualities How interested young ladies are in a pale thin boy Well then—seeing that Agatha looked serious—well then I declare to Heaven that even according to your highflown definitions he is as noble a lad as ever breathed I can find no fault in him except that as I said he is such a mere boy Are you satisfied Did you want to try if I were indeed a heartless unbrotherly goodfornothing fellow as you appear to think me sometimes
No said Agatha briefly noticing with something like scorn the Majors instinctive assumption that her questions must have some near or remote reference to himself while he never once guessed their real motive That answered she changed the conversation
After halfanhours chat Major Harper delicately alluded to the supposed business on which she had wished to see him though in a tone that showed him to be rather doubtful whether it existed at all
Agatha coloured and her heart quailed a little as any girls would in having to speak so openly of things which usually reach young maidens softly murmured amidst the confessions of first love or revealed by tender parents with blessings and tears Lifes earliest and best romance came to her with all its bloom worn away—all its sacredness and mystery set aside For a moment she felt this hard
I wished to inform you of something nearly concerning me which as the guardian appointed by my father it is right you should know I have had—here she tried to make her lips say the words without faltering—I have had an offer of marriage
God bless my soul stammered out Major Harper completely thrown off his guard by surprise A very awkward pause ensued until his natural good feeling conquering any other he said not without emotion The fact of your consulting me shows that this offer is—is not without interest to you May I ask—is it likely—that I shall have to congratulate you
Yes
He rose up slowly and walked to the window Whether his sensations were merely those of wounded vanity or whether he had liked her better than he himself acknowledged certain it was that Major Frederick Harper was a good deal moved—so much so that he succeeded in concealing it He came back very kind subdued and tender sat down by her side and took her hand
You will not wonder that I am somewhat surprised—nay affected—by these sudden tidings viewing you as I have always done in the light of a—younger sister—or—or a daughter Your happiness must naturally be very dear to me
Thank you murmured Agatha and the tears came into her eyes She felt that she had been somewhat harsh to him but she felt too with great thankfulness that despite this softening compunction her heart was free and firm She had great liking but not a particle of love for Major Harper
I trust the—the gentleman you allude to is of a character likely to make you happy
Yes returned Agatha for she could only speak in monosyllables
Is he—as your friend and guardian I may ask that question—is he of good standing in the world and in a position to maintain you comfortably
I do not know—I have never thought about that she cried restlessly All I know is that he—loves me—that I honour him—that he would take me—out of this misery she was about to say but stopped feeling that both the thought and the expression were unworthy Nathanaels future wife and unfit to be heard by Nathanaels brother
That he would take me repeated she firmly into a contented and happy home where I should be made a better woman than I am and live a life more worthy of myself and of him
You must then esteem him very highly
I do—more than any man I ever knew
The Major winced slightly but quickly recovered himself That is I believe the feeling with which every woman ought to marry He who wins and deserves such an attachment is—and he sighed—is a happy man—Happier perhaps than those who have remained single
Again there ensued a pause until Major Harper broke it by saying
There is one more question—the last of all—which after the confidence you have shown me I may venture to ask do I know this gentleman
Agatha replied by putting into his hands his brothers letter
The moment she had done so she felt remorse for having betrayed her lovers confidence by letting any eyes save her own rest on his tender words Had she loved him as he loved her she could not possibly have done so and even now a painful sensation smote her She would have snatched the letter back but it was too late
Major Harpers eyes had merely skimmed down the page to the signature when he threw it from him crying out vehemently
Impossible Agatha marry Nathanael—Nathanael marry Agatha—He is a boy a very child What can he be thinking of Send his letter back—tell him it is utter nonsense Upon my soul it is
Major Harper was very shortsighted and inconsiderate when he gave way to this burst of vexation before any woman—still more before such a woman as Agatha
She let him go on without interruption but she lifted the letter from the floor refolded it and held it tenderly—more tenderly than she had ever until now felt towards it or its writer Something of the grave sweetness belonging to the tie of an affianced wife began to cast its shadow over her heart
Major Harper when you have quite done speaking perhaps you will sit down and hear what I have to say
Struck by her manner he obeyed entreating her pardon likewise for he was a gentleman and felt that he had acted very wrongly
Yet surely he began—until looking at her something convinced him that his arguments were useless He stretched out his hand again for the letter but with a slight gesture which expressed much Agatha withheld it After a pause he said meekly enough as if thoroughly overcome by circumstances—So it is quite true You really love my brother
I honour him as I said more than I do any man
And love him—are you sure you love him
No one she answered deeply blushing—No one but himself has a right to receive the answer to that question
True true Pardon me once more But I am so startled absolutely amazed My brother Nathanael—he that was a baby when I was a grown man—he to marry—marrying you too—and I——Well I suppose I am really growing into a miserable useless old bachelor I have thrown away my life I shall be the last apple left on the tree—and a tolerably withered one too But no matter The world shall see the sunny half of me to the last
He laughed rather tunelessly at his own bitter jest and after a brief silence recovered his accustomed manner
So so such things must be and I though a bachelor myself have no right to forbid marriages Allow me to congratulate you Of course you have answered this letter My brother knows his happiness
He knows nothing but I wished that he should do so today after I had spoken to you It was a respect I felt to be your due to form no engagement of this kind without your knowledge
Thank you he said in a low voice
You have been good and kind to me continued Agatha a little touched and I wished to have your approval in all things—chiefly in this Is it so
He offered his hand saying God bless you with a quivering lip He even muttered child as though he felt how old he was growing and how he had let all lifes happiness slip by until it was just that he should no longer claim it but be content to see young people rejoicing in their youth After a pause he added Now shall I go and fetch my brother
No replied Agatha send for him and do you stay here
As you please said Major Harper a good deal surprised at this very original way of conducting a love affair After courteously offering to withdraw himself to the diningroom which Agatha declined he sat and waited with her during the few minutes that elapsed before his brother appeared
Nathanael looked much agitated his boyish face seemed to have grown years older since the preceding night He paused at the door and glanced with suspicion on his brother and Miss Bowen
You sent for me Frederick
It was I who sent for you said Agatha And then steadfastly regarding him whom she had tacitly accepted as her husband the guide and ruler of her whole life—her selfpossession failed A great timidity almost amounting to terror came over her Vaguely she felt the want of something unknown—something which in the whirl of her destiny she could grasp and hold by sure that she held fast to the right It was the one emotion neither regard liking honour or esteem yet including and surpassing all—the love strong pure love without which it is so dangerous often so fatal for a woman to marry
Agatha never having known this feeling could scarcely be said to have sacrificed it at least not consciously But even while she believed she was doing right in accepting the man who loved her and whom she could make so happy she trembled
Major Harper sat looking out of the window in an uncomfortable silence which he evidently knew not how to break It was a very awkward and somewhat ridiculous position for all three
Nathanael was the first to rise out of it Slowly his features settled into composure and his strong earnest purpose gave him both dignity and calmness even though all hope had evidently died He looked steadily at his brother avoiding Agatha
Frederick I think I understand now She has been telling you all
It was right she should Her father left her in my care She wishes you to learn her decision in my presence said Major Harper unwittingly taking a new and even respectful tone to the younger brother whom he was wont to call that boy
Nathanael grasped with his slight long fingers the chair by which he stood As she pleases I am quite ready Still—if—yesterday—without telling you or any one—she had said to me—But I am quite ready to hear what she decides
Despite his firmness the words were uttered slowly and with a great struggle
Tell him everything Miss Bowen it will come better from yourself said Frederick Harper rising
Agatha rose likewise walked across the room and laid her hand in that of him who loved her The only words she said were so low that he alone could hear them
I have been very desolate—be kind to me
Nathanael made no answer indeed for the moment his look was that of a man bewildered—but he never forgot those words
Agatha felt her hand clasped—softly—but with a firm grasp that seemed to bind it to his for ever This was the only sign of betrothal that passed between them In another minute or two unable to bear the scene longer she crept out of the room and walked upstairs feeling with a dizzy sense half of comfort half of fear—yet on the whole the comfort stronger than the fear—that the struggle was all over and her fate sealed for life
When she descended an hour after the Harpers had gone but she found a little note awaiting her just one line
If not forbidden I may come this evening
Agatha knew she had no right to forbid even had she wished it now So she waited quietly through the long dim misty day—which seemed the strangest day she had ever known until in the evening her lovers knock came to the door
She was sitting with Jane Ianson near whom partly in shy fear partly from a vague desire for womanly sympathy she had closely kept for the last hour As yet the Iansons knew nothing She wondered whether from his manner or hers they would be likely to guess what had passed that morning between herself and Mr Harper
It was an infinite relief to her when following nay preceding Nathanael there appeared his elder brother with the old pleasant smile and bow
But amidst all his assumed manner Major Harper took occasion to whisper kindly to Agatha My brother made me come—I shall do admirably to talk nonsense to the Iansons
And so he did carrying off the restraint of the evening so ingeniously that no one would have suspected any deeper elements of joy or pain beneath the smooth surface of their cheerful group
Nathanael sat almost as silent as ever but even his very silence was a beautiful joyful repose In his aspect a new soul seemed to have dawned—the new soul noble and strong which comes into a man when he feels that his life has another life added to it to guard cherish and keep as his own until death And though Mr Harper gave little outward sign of what was in him it was touching to see how his eyes followed his betrothed everywhere whether she were moving about the room or working or trying to sing Continually Agatha felt the shining of these quiet tender eyes and she began to experience the consciousness—perhaps the sweetest in the world—of being able to make another human being entirely happy
Only sometimes when she looked at her future husband—hardly able to believe he was really such—and thought how strangely things had happened how here she was no longer a girl but a woman engaged to be married sitting calmly by her lovers side without any of the tremblingly delicious emotions which she had once believed would constitute the great mystery Love—a strange pensiveness overtook her She felt all the solemnity of her position and as yet little of its sweetness Perhaps that would come in time She resolved to do her duty towards him whom she so tenderly honoured and who so deeply loved herself and all the evening the entire gentleness of her behaviour was enough to charm the very soul of any one who held towards her the relation now borne by Nathanael Harper
At length even the goodnatured elder brothers flow of conversation seemed to fail and he gave hints about leaving to which the younger tacitly consented Agatha bade them both goodnight in public and crept away as she thought unobserved to her own sittingroom
There she stood before the hearth which looked cheerful enough this wet July night—the firelight shining on her hands as they hung down listlessly folded together She was thinking how strange everything seemed about her and what a change had come in a few days nay hours
Suddenly a light touch was laid on her hand It startled her but she did not attempt to shake it off She knew quite well whose hand it was and that it had a right to be there
Agatha
She half turned and said once more Goodnight
Goodnight my Agatha
And for a minute he stood holding her hand by the firelight until some one below called out loudly for Mr Harper Then a kiss soft and timid as a womans trembled over Agathas mouth and he was gone
This was the first time she had ever been kissed by any man The feeling it left was very new tremulous and strange
CHAPTER VI
The next morning was Sunday Under one of the dark arches in Bloomsbury Church—with Mrs Iansons large feathers tossing on one side and Janes sickly unhappy face at the other—Agatha said her prayers in due sabbatical form Said her prayers is the right phrase for trouble had not yet opened her young heart to pray Yet she was a good girl not wilfully undevout and if during the long missionarysermon she secretly got her prayerbook and read—what was the most likely portion to attract her—the marriage service it was with feelings solemnised and not unsacred Some portions of it made her very thoughtful so thoughtful that when suddenly startled by the conclusion of the sermon she prayed—not with the clergyman for Jews Turks Infidels and Heretics—but for two young creatures herself and another who perhaps needed Heavens merciful blessings quite as much
When she rose up it was with moist eyelashes and then she perceived what until this minute she had not seen—that close behind her sitting where he had probably sat all churchtime was Nathanael Harper
If anything can touch the heart of a generous woman when it is still a free heart it is that quiet unobtrusive proudlysilent love which giving all exacts nothing Agathas smile had in it something even of shy tenderness when at the churchdoor she was met by Mr Harper And when after speaking courteously to the Iansons he came quite naturally as it were to her side and drew her arm in his she felt a strange sense of calm and rest in knowing that it was her betrothed husband upon whom she leant
At the door he seemed wishful enough to enter but Mrs Ianson invariably looked very coldly upon Sunday visitors
And something questioning and questionable in the glances of both that lady and her daughter was very painful to Miss Bowen
Not today she whispered as her lover detained her hand Tomorrow I shall have made all clear to the Iansons
As you will Nothing shall trouble you said he with a gentle acquiescence the value of which alas she did not half appreciate Only remember I have so few tomorrows
This speech troubled Agatha for many minutes bringing various thoughts concerning the dim future which as yet she had scarcely contemplated It is wonderful how little an unsophisticated girls mind rests on the commonsense and commonplace of marriage—household prospects income long or short engagements and the like When in the course of that drowsy dark Sunday afternoon with the raindrops dripping heavily on the balcony she took opportunity formally to communicate her secret to the astonished Mrs Ianson Agatha was perfectly confounded by the two simple questions When are you to be married And where are you going to live
And oh my dear cried the doctors wife roused into positive sympathy by a confidence which always touches the softest chord in every womans heart—oh my dear I hope it will not be a long engagement People change so—at least men do You dont know what misery comes out of long engagements And lowering her voice she turned her dull grey eyes swimming with motherly tears towards the corner sofa where the pale fretful oldmaidish Jane lay sleeping
Agatha understood a little and guessed more After that day however illtempered and disagreeable the invalid might be she was always very patient and kind towards Jane Ianson
After tea when her daughter was gone to bed Mrs Ianson unfolded all to the Doctor who nearly broke Miss Bowens fingers with his congratulatory shake John the footman catching fragments of talk probably put the whole story together for the amusement of the lower regions and when Agatha retired to rest she was quite sure that the whole house down to the little maid who waited on herself was fully aware of the important fact that Miss Bowen was going to be married to Mr Locke Harper
This annoyed her—she had not expected it But she bore it stoically as a necessary evil Only sometimes she thought how different all things were seen afar and near and faintly sighed for that long ago lost picture of wakening fancy—the Arcadian impossible lovedream
She sat up till after midnight writing to Emma Thornycroft the only near friend to whom she had to write the news of her engagement—information that for many reasons she preferred giving by pen not words Finishing she put her blind aside to have one freshening look at the trees in the square It was quite cloudless now the moon being just rising—the same moon that Agatha had seen as a bright slender line appearing at street corners on the Midsummer night when she and Nathariael Harper walked home together She felt a deep interest in that especial moon which seemed between its dawning and waning to have comprised the whole fate of her life
Quietly opening the window she leant out gazing at the moonlight as foolish girls will—yet who does not remember half pathetically those dear old follies
Heigho I wonder what will be the end of it all said Agatha Bowen without specifying what the pronoun it alluded to
But she stopped hearing a footstep rather policemanlike passing up and down the railing under the trees And as after a while he crossed the street—she saw that the policeman had the very unprofessional appearance of a cloak and long fair hair—Agathas cheek burned she shut down the window and blind and relighted the candle But her heart beat fast—it was so strange so new to be the object of such love However I suppose I shall get used to it—besides—oh how good he is
And the genuine reverence of her heart conquered its touch of feminine vanity which perhaps had he known
Nathanael would have done wiser in going to bed like a Christian than in wandering like a heathen idolater round his beloveds shrine But however her pride may have been flattered it is certain that Agatha went to sleep with tears innocent and tender enough to serve as mirrors for watching nightangels lying on her cheek
The next morning she waited at home and for the first time received her betrothed openly as such She was sitting alone in her little drawingroom engaged at her work but put it down when Mr Harper entered and held out her hand kindly though with a slight restraint and confusion Both were needless he only touched this latelywon hand with his soft boyish lips—like a preux chevalier of the olden time—and sat down by her side However deep his love might be its reserve was unquestionable
After a while he began to talk to her—timidly yet tenderly as friend with friend—watching her fingers while they moved until at length the girl grew calmed by the calmness of her young lover So much so that she even forgot he was a young man and her lover and found herself often steadfastly looking up into his face which was gradually melting into a known likeness as many faces do when we grow familiar with them Agatha puzzled herself much as to who it could be that Mr Harper was like—though she found no nearer resemblance than a head she had once seen of the angel Gabriel
She told him this—quite innocently and then recollecting herself coloured deeply But Nathanael looked perfectly happy
The likeness is very flattering said he smiling Yet I would only wish to be—what you called me once the first evening I saw you Do you remember
No
Ah—well—it was not probable you should he answered as if patiently taking upon himself the knowledge which only a strong love can bear—that it is alone in its strength It was merely when they were talking of my name and you said I looked like a Nathanael Now do you remember
Yes and I think so still she replied without any false shame I never look at you but I feel there is no guile in you Mr Harper
Thanks he said with much feeling Thanks—except for the last word How soon will you try to say Nathanael
A fit of wilfulness or shyness was upon Agatha She drew away her hand which he had taken How soon Nay I cannot tell It is a long name oldfashioned and rather ugly
He made no answer—scarcely even showed that he was hurt but he never again asked her to call him Nathanael
She went on with her work and he sat quietly looking at her for some little time more Any Asmodeus peering at them through the roof would have vowed these were the oddest pair of lovers ever seen
At last rousing himself Mr Harper said It is time Agatha—he paused and added—dear Agatha—quite time that we should talk a little about what concerns our happiness—at least mine
She looked at him—saw how earnest he was and put down her work The softness of her manner soothed him
I know dear Agatha that it is very wrong in me but sometimes I can hardly believe this is all true and that you really promised—what I heard from your own lips two days ago Will you—out of that good heart of yours—say it again
What must I say
That you love—no I dont mean that—but that you care for me a little—enough to trust me with your happiness Do you
For all reply Agatha held out the hand she had drawn back Her lover kept it tight in that peculiar grasp of his—very soft and still but firm as adamant
Thank you You shall never regret your trust My brother told me all you said to him on Saturday morning I know you do not quite love me yet
Agatha started it was so true
Still as you have loved no one else—you are sure of that
She thought a minute then lifted her candid eyes and answered
Yes quite sure
He watching her closely betrayed himself so far as to give an inward thankful sigh
Then Agatha since I love you I am not afraid
Nor I she answered and a tear fell for she was greatly moved Her betrothed put his arm round her softly and timidly as if unfamiliar with actions of tenderness but she trembled so much that still softly he let her go only keeping firm hold of her hand apparently to show that no power on earth gentle or strong should wrest that from him
A few minutes after he began speaking of his affairs of which Agatha was in a state of entire ignorance She said jestingly—for they had fallen into quite familiar jesting now and were laughing together like a couple of children—that she had not the least idea whether she were about to marry a prince or a beggar
No answered her lover smiling at her unworldliness and thereby betraying that innocent as he looked his was not the innocence of ignorance No but I am not exactly a prince and as a beggar I should certainly be too proud to marry you
Indeed Why
Because I understand you are a very rich young lady I dont know how rich for I never thought of the subject or inquired about it till today while I am only able to earn my income year by year Yet it is a good income and I earnestly hope fully equal to yours
I dont know what mine is But why are you so punctilious
Uncle Brian impressed upon me from my boyhood that one of the greatest horrors of life must be the taunt of having married an heiress for her money
Has he ever married
No
And is he a very old man Miss Bowen asked less interested in money matters than in this Uncle Brian whose name so constantly floated across his nephews conversation
Fifteen years in the colonies makes a man old before his time And he was not very young probably full thirty when he went out But I could go on talking of Uncle Brian for ever you must stop me Agatha
Not I—I like to hear she answered beginning to feel how sweet it was to sit talking thus confidentially and know herself and her words esteemed fair and pleasant in the eyes of one who loved her But as she looked up and smiled that same witching smile put an effectual stop to the chronicle of Brian Harper
And I have to go back to Canada so soon whispered Nathanael to himself as his gaze far less calm than heretofore fell down like a warm sunshine over his betrothed The time of my stay here will soon be over and what then—Agatha
She did not wholly comprehend the question and so let it pass She was quite content to keep him talking about things and people in whom her interest was naturally growing of Kingcombe Holm the old house on the Dorset coast where the Harpers had dwelt for centuries of its present owner Nathanael Harper Esquire of that venerable name so renowned in Dorsetshire pedigrees that one Harper had refused to merge it even in the blaze of a peerage Of the five Miss Harpers of whom one was dead and another the allimportant married sister Mrs Dugdale lived in a town close by Of Eulalie the pretty cadette who was at some future time going to disappear behind the shadows of matrimony of busy housekeeping Mary whom nobody could possibly do without and who couldnt be suffered to marry on any account whatever Last of all was the eye ear and heart of the house kept tenderly in its inmost nook from which for twenty years she had never moved and never would move until softly carried to the house appointed for all living—Elizabeth the eldest—of whom Nathanaels soft voice grew softer as he spoke His betrothed hesitated to ask many questions about Elizabeth The one of whom she had it in her mind always to inquire and whose name somehow always slipped past was Miss Anne Valery
All this conversation—wherein the young lover bore himself much more bravely than in regular lovemaking—a manufacture at which he was not au fait at all caused the morning to pass swiftly by Agatha thought if all her life were to move so smoothly and pleasantly she need never repent trusting its current to the guidance of Nathanael Harper And when soon after he departed Emma Thornycroft came in all smiles wonderings and congratulations Miss Bowen was in a mood cheerful enough to look the happy fiancée to the life besides womanly and tender enough to hang round her friends neck testifying her old regard—until Master James testified his also and likewise his general sympathy in the scene by flying at them both with breadandbuttery fingers
Ah Agatha there is nothing like being a wife and mother you see what happiness lies before you cried the affectionate soul hugging her unruly son and heir
Miss Bowen slightly shuddered being of a rather different opinion which however she had the good taste to keep to herself since occasionally a slight misgiving arose that either she was unreasonably harsh or that the true type of infantile loveableness did not exist in the young Thornycrofts
As a private penance for possible injustice and also out of the general sunniness of her contented heart she was particularly kind to Master James that day and moreover promised to spend the next at the Botanic Gardens—not the terrific Zoological—with Emma and the babies
And added the young matron with a gracious satisfaction you understand my dear we shall—now and always—be most happy to see Mr Harper in the evening
CHAPTER VII
Whether Mr Harper being a rather proud and reserved individual was not so happy to be seen in the evening as an attendant planet openly following his sphered idol or whether like all true lovers he was very jealous over the lightest public betrayal of loves sanctity most certainly he did not appear until he had been expected for at least two hours Even then his manner was somewhat constrained Emmas smiling halfjesting congratulations were nipped in the bud she felt as she afterwards declared—quite frightened at him
Agatha too met him rather meekly fearing lest she had led him into a position distasteful to his feelings She was relieved when taking little notice of herself he fell into conversation with Mr Thornycroft—a serious discussion on political and general topics Once or twice glancing at him and noticing how well he talked and how manly and selfpossessed he looked Agatha began to feel proud of her betrothed She could not have endured a lover who—in not unfrequent loverlike fashion—made a fool of himself on her account
While the two gentlemen still talked Miss Bowen stood secretly listening but apparently watching the rich twilight that coloured the long sweep of the Regents Park trees—a pretty sight even though in the land of Cockayne
Theres a carriage at our door screamed Missy from the balcony receiving a hurried maternal reproof for illbehaviour Mrs Thornycroft wondered who the inopportune visitor could be
It was a lady who gave no name but wished to know if Mr Locke Harper were there and if so would he come to the carriage and speak to her a moment
Nathanael did so looking not less surprised than the rest of the party After five minutes had elapsed he was still absent from the room
Very odd observed Emma half in jest half earnest I should inquire into the matter if I were you Let me see—I fancy the carriage is still at the door It would be rude to peep you know but we can inquire of the maid
No said Agatha gently removing Mrs Thornycrofts hand from the bell Mr Harper will doubtless tell me all that is necessary He is perfectly able to conduct his own affairs
It was speech implying more indifference than she really felt for this mysterious interview did not quite please her She tried vainly to go on talking with Mrs Thornycroft and actually started when she heard the carriage drive off and Nathanael come upstairs
His countenance was a good deal troubled but he did not give the slightest explanation—not even when Mrs Thornycroft joked him about his supposed business
With a lady too Not I hope a young lady
What did you say he asked absently his eyes fixed afar off on Agatha
I hope your visitor in the carriage was not a young lady
No The answer was in a tone that put an end to any more jesting
Nathanael sat down and tried to take up the thread of politics just dropped with Mr Thornycroft but only for a few minutes Then stealing round by Miss Bowens side he whispered
I want to speak to you would you mind coming home soon
At once if you wish it she answered perceiving that something was wrong and feeling towards him too much of kindness and too little of jealous love to be in any way displeased at his strange behaviour
Will you do it then dear Agatha Do it for me
Agatha was ill at contrivance but she managed somehow to get away and before it was dark she and her betrothed were out in the broad terrace
Now said she taking his arm kindly if anything is amiss you can tell me all as we walk home Better walk than ride
No we must ride I would not lose a minute Nathanael answered as he hurried her into a conveyance and gave the order to drive to Bedford Square
Miss Bowen felt a twinge of repugnance at this control so newly exercised over the liberty of her actions but her goodheartedness still held out and she waited patiently for her lover to explain However he seemed to forget that any explanation was necessary He leaned back in the corner quite silent with his hand over his eyes Had she loved him or not known that he was her lover Agatha would soon have essayed the womanly part of comforter but now timidity restrained her
At length timidity was verging into distrust when he suddenly said just as they were entering the square
I have used the dear right you lately gave me in taking a strange liberty with you and your house I have appointed to meet me there tonight one whom I must see and whom I could not well see in any other way—a lady—a stranger to you But stay she is here
And as they stopped at the door where another carriage had stopped likewise Nathanael unceremoniously leaped out and went to this mysterious stranger
Go in dear Agatha said he returning go to your own sittingroom and I will bring her to you
Agatha half reluctant to be so ordered about and thoroughly bewildered likewise mechanically obeyed Nevertheless with a sort of pleasure that this humdrum courtship was growing into something interesting at last she waited for the intruding lady
That she was a lady the first glimpse of her as she entered the room leaning rather heavily on Nathanaels arm brought sufficient conviction She was tall and a certain slow soft way of moving cast about her an atmosphere of sweet dignity Her age was not easily distinguishable but her voice in the few words addressed to Mr Harper Is your friend here seemed not that of a very young woman
In her presence Miss Bowen instinctively rose
Yes she is here said Nathanael answering the stranger You could not have learnt what I wrote yesterday to my father and to Elizabeth She is Agatha Bowen my—my wife that will be Agatha this lady is Miss Anne Valery
It would be hard to say which of the two thus suddenly introduced to each other was most surprised However the elder lady recovered herself soonest
I was not aware of this but I am very glad And I need not now apologise for thus intruding
She went up to the young betrothed and took her by the hand warmly seeming at once and without further explanation to comprehend all while on Agathas side her look her voice her touch communicated a sudden trust and pleasure It was one of those instinctive inexplicable attractions which almost every one has experienced more or less during life She could not take her eyes off Miss Valery the face and manner seemed at once familiar and strange She had never been so impressed by any woman before
To show all hospitable attentions to place an armchair for her guest and even as she appeared weary to entreat her to put aside her bonnet and mantle—seemed quite natural to Miss Bowen just as if they had been friends of years Anne thanked her courteously let her do what she would—but all the while looked anxiously at Nathanael
You know we have much to say Is she aware of what I told you
Not yet I could not tell her it shocked me so Oh my poor uncle
Agatha who was unfastening her guests cloak turned round
What your Uncle Brian Has anything happened You speak almost as if he were dead
Anne Valery shivered
Dead God forbid cried the young man more deeply moved than his betrothed had ever seen him But we have had ill news He went as interpreter on a Government mission as he had often done before he was so popular among the Indians But from some treachery shown them the tribe grew enraged and carried him off prisoner Heaven only knows if they have spared his life But I think—I feel they will He was so just to the red men always He is surely safe
Yes he is safe repeated Miss Valery as if any alternative but that were utterly incredible and impossible
Nathanael continued The tidings reached Kingcombe yesterday and our friend here coming to London volunteered to bring them and consult with me If there is any good deed to be done it is sure to be done by Anne Valery added Nathanael stretching out his hand to hers
She took it without speaking being apparently much exhausted And now that her bonnet was off and she sitting near the lamp Agatha discerned that Miss Valery was by no means young or beautiful At all events she was at that time in an unmarried womans life when it ceases to signify whether she is handsome or not Her hair at first seemed brown but on looking closer there appeared on either side the parting broad silvery lines as if two snowladen hands laid on the head had smoothed it down leaving it shining still
Agatha turned from her passing examination of Miss Valery to the subject in question evidently so painful to her betrothed
You two wish to consult together Do so Pray stay here I am very sorry for your trouble Mr Harper Anything that I can do for you or your friend you know—and her voice dropped softly—it is my duty now
Nathanael looked at her as if longing to clasp her to his heart and say how happy he was but he restrained himself and let his eyes alone declare what he felt They were very eloquent
While this passed between the young people the elder lady arose from her chair quietness seemed painful to her
Nathanael every minute is precious to anxiety such as you must feel Have you thought what had better be done since you are the right person to do it
As yet I have thought of nothing And alas what can be done
Sit down and let us consider said she laying her hand on his with a force soft yet steady as that of her words
Agatha was gliding out of the room but her lovers quick movement and Miss Valerys look stopped her
Do not go Miss Bowen you are not so unknown to me as I am to you I had much rather you stayed
So she took up her position a little distance off and listened while the two friends consulted pondering the while on what a rare kind of man Mr Brian Harper must be to win such regard
You say the news came accidentally Mr Harper observed It may not be true then
It is I had it confirmed today
How
I went to the Colonial Office myself Kind Anne Valery murmured the young man It was best to do so before I told you anything You knowing the whole facts would then decide more readily
You are right and wise as ever Now tell me exactly what you heard
While a treaty was going forward for the Government purchase of Indian lands there arose a quarrel and two red men were upon slight grounds punished cruelly Then the whole tribe went off in the night carrying as prisoners two Englishmen—one by force The other is believed to have offered himself willingly as a hostage until the reparation of what he considered an injustice shown by his countrymen to the Indians You may guess who he was
Uncle Brian of course cried Nathanael pacing the room Just like him He would do the maddest things for the sake of honour
Anne Valerys eyes flashed in the dark a momentary brightness as if they were growing young again
But his life is surely safe all over the Indian country they respect the very name of Brian Harper No harm can touch him—it is quite impossible
I think so too And Miss Valery drew a long breath Still such danger is very terrible—is it not And she turned slightly to include Agatha in their conversation
Oh terrible the girl cried deeply interested But could he not be sought for—rescued Could not a party be despatched after him If I were a man I would head one immediately
Miss Valery faintly smiling patted Agathas hand It was easy to see that this good heart opened itself at once to Nathanaels young betrothed
That is what I had in my own mind and should have spoken of to his nephew here—a party of search which the Canadian Government if urged would no doubt consent to Nathanael could propose it—plan it He is both ingenious and wise
Ah he is he seems to know everything cried Agatha warmly Surely Mr Harper you could think of something—do something
I could said the nephew slowly waking from a long interval of thought I could do—what perhaps I ought and will—for him who has been more than a father to me
What is that Agatha asked while Miss Valery regarded him silently
To go back to America—head a search or if that is refused me search for him myself alone and never give up until I find him—living or dead
Ah do so that will be right generous noble—you could not fail
There is no saying Agatha only if done it must be done without delay I must start at once—in a week—nay a day—leaving England home you everything That is hard
He uttered the last words inaudibly and his left hand was suddenly clenched as he turned and walked once up the room and down again
Agatha knew not what to say Only a great love conscious of the extent of its own sacrifice would have had boldness to urge the like sacrifice upon him
Miss Valerys voice broke the troubled pause
You cannot start yet Nathanael you would have to apply to the Government here It would be impossible for you to leave under at least a fortnight
Ah he sighed momentarily relieved which was but natural Yet how wrong I am for my poor uncles sake I ought not to lose a day Surely there would be some way of hastening the time if inquiries were to be set on foot
I have made all that could be made still try yourself though I fear it is useless The suspense is bitter but what is inevitable must be borne said Anne with the smile of one long used to the practice of that doctrine And in a fortnight—a fortnight is a long time Miss Bowen
The smile flitting to Agatha took a cheerfulness which hitherto in the sad subject of her talk Miss Valery had not displayed A certain benevolent meaning which Agatha rather guessed at than discerned was likewise visible there
Come said she for this night we can do nothing but having settled what we shall do or rather what Mr Harper will do let us make ourselves at rest Be content my dear Nathanael Heaven will take care of him for whom we fear
Her voice trembled Agatha fancied and the young girl thought how full and generous was this kind womans sympathy likewise how good Nathanael must be to have awakened so deep a regard in such an one as Miss Anne Valery
The clock struck ten We are early folk in Dorsetshire but as my old servant Andrews has secured my lodgings close by I am a very independent woman you see Miss Bowen if you will allow me I should like to sit another halfhour and become a little better acquainted with you
Agatha gave her a delighted welcome and astonished the Ianson family by ordering all sorts of hospitalities The three began to converse upon various matters the only remarkable fact being that no one inquired for or alluded to a person doubtless familiar to all—Frederick Harper On Agathas part this omission was involuntary he had quietly slipped out of her thoughts hour by hour and day by day as her interest in him became absorbed in others more akin to her true nature
But though every one tried to maintain the conversation on indifferent topics the feelings of at least two out of the three necessarily drew it back to one channel There they sat running over the slight nothings probable and improbable which in hard suspense people count up though still the worst Nathanael seemed to fear was the temporary hardship to which his uncle would be exposed
And he is not so young as he used to be How often have I urged him to be content with his poverty and come home He shall come home now If once I get him out of these red fellows hands he shall turn his face from their wild settlements for ever He can easily do it even if I must stay in Canada
The young man looked at his newlybetrothed wife and looked away again It was more than he could bear
Agatha said Miss Valery after a pause during which she had closely observed both the young people—I may call you Agatha for the sake of my friend here may I not
Yes was the low answer
Well then Agatha shall you and I have a little talk We need not mind that foolish boy he was a boy just so high when I first knew him Let him walk up and down the room a little it will do him good
She moved to the sofa and took Agatha by her side
My dear—there was a rare sweetness in the way Miss Valery said the usually unsweet words my dear—I need not say what of course we two both think that she will be a happy woman who marries Nathanael Harper
Agatha with her eyes cast down looked everything a young girl could be expected to look under the circumstances
Your happiness as well as your history is to me not like that of an entire stranger I once knew your father
Ah that accounts for all cried Agatha delighted to gain this confirmation of her strange impression in favour of Miss Valery When was this and where was I
Neither born nor thought of
Agathas countenance fell Then of course it was impossible—yet I felt certain—I could even believe so now—that I have seen you before
While the girl looked a quick shadow passed over Anne Valerys still features for the moment entirely changing their expression But soon returned their ordinary settled calm
We often fancy that strangers faces are familiar It is usually held to be an omen of future affection Let me hope that it will prove so now I have long wished and am truly glad heartglad to see you my dear child
She bent Agathas forehead towards her and kissed it Gradually her lips recovered their colour and she began to talk again showing herself surprisingly familiar with the monotonous past life of the young girl and likewise with her present circumstances
How kind of you to take such an interest in me cried Agatha her wonder absorbed in pleasure
It was natural Anne said rather hastily A woman left orphan from the cradle as I was can feel for another orphan And though my acquaintance with your father was too slender to warrant my intruding upon you—still I never lost sight of you Poor child yours has been a desolate position for so young a girl
Ay very desolate said Agatha and suddenly the recollection crossed her mind of how doubly she should feel that desolation when her betrothed husband was gone for how long no one could tell A regret arose half tenderness half selfishness but she deemed it wholly the latter and so crushed it down
How long have you been engaged to Nathanael asked Miss Valery in a manner so sweet as entirely to soften the abruptness of the question and win the unhesitating answer
A very short time—only a few days Yet I seem to have known him for years Oh how good he is how it grieves me to see him so unhappy whispered Agatha watching his restless movements up and down
It will be a hard trial for him this parting with you Men like Nathanael never love lightly even sudden passions—and his must have been rather sudden—in them take root as with the strength of years I am very sorry for the boy
And Miss Valerys eyes glistened as they rested on him whom probably from old habit she thus called
Well have you done your little mysteries said he coming up to the sofa with an effort to be gay Have you taken my character to pieces Anne Valery Remember if so I have little enough time to recover it A fortnight will be gone directly
No one answered
Come make room I will have my place I will sit beside you Agatha
There was a sort of desperation in his I will that indicated a great change in the reserved timid youth Agatha yielded as to an irresistible influence and he placed himself by her side putting his arm firmly round her waist quite regardless of the presence of a third person—though about Anne there was an abiding spirit of love which seemed to take under its shadow all lovers ay even though she herself were an old maid But perhaps that was the very reason
I was doing you no harm Nathanael said she smiling And I was thinking like you how soon a fortnight will be gone and how hard it is for you to part from this little girl that loves you
The inference so natural so holy which Miss Valery had unconsciously drawn Agatha had not the heart to deny She knew it was but right that she should love and be supposed to love her betrothed husband And looking at him his suffering his strong selfdenial she almost felt that she did really love him as a wife ought
If said the soft voice of the good angel—if you had not known each other so short a time and been so newly betrothed I should have said—judging such things by what they were when I was young—here she momentarily paused—I should have said Nathanael that there was only one course which as regarded both her and yourself was wisest kindest best
What is that cried he eagerly
To do a little sooner what must necessarily have been done soon—to take one anothers hands—thus
Agatha felt strong wild fingers grasping her own a dizziness came over her—she shrank back crying No no and hid her face on Miss Valerys shoulder Nathanael rose up and walked away
When he returned it was with his good aspect tender and calm
No Anne I was wrong even to think of such a thing Assure her I will never urge it She is quite right in saying No—What man could expect such a sacrifice
And what woman would deem it such whispered Miss Valery But I know I am a very foolish romantic old maid and view these things in a different light to most people So my dear be quite at rest she continued soothing the young creature who still clung to her No one will urge you in any way he will not he is too generous and I had no right even to say what I did except from my affection for him
She looked fondly at the young man as if he had been still a little child and she saw him in the light of ancient days These impelled her to speak on earnestly
Another reason I had because I am old and you two are young Often it seems as if the whole world—fate trial circumstance—were set against all lovers to make them part It is a bitter thing when they part of their own free will Accidents of all kinds—change sorrow even death—may come between and they may never meet again Agatha Nathanael—believe one who has seen more of life than you—rarely do those that truly love ever attain the happiness of marrying one another One half the world—the best and noblest half—thirst all their lives for that bliss which you throw away What Agatha crying
And she tried to lift up the drooping head but could not
Nay dear I was wrong to grieve you so Please God you two may meet again and marry and be happy even in this world Come Nathanael you can say all this much better than I Tell her you will be quite content and wait any number of years And as to this parting it is a right and noble sacrifice of yours let her see how nobly you will bear it
Ay Agatha I will said the young lover firmly as he stood before her half stooping half kneeling—though not quite kneeling even then But his whole manner showed the crumbling away of that clear but icy surface with which nature or habit had enveloped the whole man
Agatha lifted her head and looked at him long and earnestly
I will he repeated I promise you I will Only be content—and in token that you are so give me your hand
She gave him both and then leaned back again on Miss Valerys shoulder
Tell him—I will go with him—anywhere—at any time—if it will only make him happy
The same night when Nathanael and Anne Valery had left her Agatha sat thinking almost in a dream yet without either sorrow or dread—that all uncertainty was now over—that this day week would be her weddingday
CHAPTER VIII
I wish as I stated yesterday that Miss Bowens property should be settled entirely upon herself This is the only course which to my thinking can reconcile a man to the humiliation of receiving a large fortune with his wife
An odd doctrine truly Where did you learn it laughed Major Harper who was pacing the Bedford Square drawingroom with quick uneasy steps while his brother stood very quiet only looking from time to time at the closed door It was the Saturday before the marriage and Agathas trustee had come to execute his last guardianship of her and her property There was lying on a cornertable pored over by a lawyerlike individual—that formidable instrument a marriagesettlement
Where did I learn it returned Mr Harper smiling Why where I learned most of my opinions and everything that is good in me—with Uncle Brian Poor Uncle Brian and the smile faded into grave anxiety
Are you really going on that mad expedition said the elder brother with the air of a man who being perturbed in his own mind is ready to take a harsh view of everything
I do not think it mad—and anything short of madness I ought to undertake and shall—for him
Ay muttered the other there it is Brian always made everybody love him
But continued Nathanael as I said last night to Miss Bowen I shall do nothing foolishly We must hold ourselves prepared for the worst still if better tidings should come—though that is scarcely possible now—then perhaps——
You would not go cried Major Harper eagerly Which would of course delay your marriage How very much better that would be
Why so said the bridegroom with a piercing look
Frederick appeared confused but threw it off with a laugh
Oh women like a little longer courtship They are never caught all in a minute unless they are quite indifferent as to who catches them And even then—marry in haste—you know the proverb—nay dont be angry he added as his brother turned abruptly away I was only jesting and a happy fellow like you can afford to be laughed at by a miserable old bachelor like me
The momentary annoyance passed Nathanael was indeed too happy to be seriously vexed at anything
Still for some reasons continued Major Harper I wish my fair ward were not becoming my sister in such a terrible hurry So much to be done in one week and by a man like me who hates the very name of business it is next to impossible but that some things should he slurred and hurried over For instance there was no time Grimes said to draw up a long deed of settlement showing precisely where her money was invested
I told you I wanted nothing of the kind I scarcely understand your English law But can it not be stated in plain legal form—a dozen lines would surety do it—that every farthing Agatha has is settled upon herself exclusively from the day she becomes my wife
That is done I—I—in fact Mr Grimes had already advised such a course as being the shortest
Then what is the use of saying any more about it
But brother observed Major Harper in whose manner was perceptible a certain vague uneasiness if—though I assure you Grimes has transacted all these matters and he is a sharp man of business while I am none—still if it would be any satisfaction to you to know particulars concerning where Miss Bowens money is invested—
In the funds and to remain there by her fathers will to I think you said
Precisely It was invested there returned the brother with an accent so light on the past tense that Nathanael preoccupied with other things than money matters did not observe it
Well then so let it stay Dont let us talk any more about this matter I trust entirely to you To whom should I trust if not to my own brother
At these hearty words Major Harpers face quick in every mobile expression of feeling betrayed much discomposure He walked the room in a mood of agitation compared to which the bridegrooms own restlessness was nothing Then he went to the farther end of the apartment and hurriedly read over the marriagesettlement
Faugh Grimes what balderdash is this he whispered angrily Balderdash—nay downright lies
Drawn up exactly as you desired and as we arranged Major Harper answered Mr Grimes formally Settling upon the lady and her heirs for ever all her property now in the Three per Cent Consols
Just heavens and theres not a penny of it there
But there will be by the time the marriage is celebrated or soon after—since you are determined to sell out those shares
I wish I could—I wish to Heaven I could cried the poor Major in a despair that required all the warnings of his legal adviser to smother it down so as to keep their conference private Ive been driven nearly mad going from broker to broker in the City today I might as well attempt to sell out shares in the Elysian Fields as in that confounded Wheal Caroline
Fluctuations my dear sir mere fluctuations Tis the same in all Cornish mines Yet as I said both concerning your own little property and Miss Bowens afterwards I would wish no better investment I have the greatest confidence in the Wheal Caroline shares
Confidence echoed the Major ruefully But where is my brothers confidence in me when I tell him—Pon my life I cant tell him
There is not the slightest need I have accurate information from the mine which next week will raise the shares to ten per cent premium and then since you are so determined to sell out that most promising investment—
I will as sure as I live I vow Ill never be trustee to any young lady again as long as my name is Frederick Harper However if this must stand—and he read from the deed—all property now invested in the Three per Cents—Oh oh Major Harper shook his head with a deepdrawn sigh of miserable irresolution
Yet there lay the parchment sickening him with its prevaricating if not lying face and his invisible good angel kept pulling him on one side—nay at last pulled him halfway across the room to where absorbed in a reverie—pardonable under the circumstances—his brother sat
Nathanael pray get out of that brown study and have five minutes talk with me If you only knew the annoyance I have endured all this week concerning Agathas fortune How thankful I shall be to transfer it from my hands into yours
Oh yes said the lover rather absently
And I hope it will give you less trouble and more reward than it has given me continued the elder brother still anxiously beating about the bush ere he came to a direct confession I declare I have been as anxious for the young ladys benefit as if I had intended marrying her myself
The bridegrooms quick fiery glance showed Major Harper that he had gone a little too far even in privileged jesting
But happily Nathanael had heard the door open He hastily went forward and met his bride With her were Mr and Mrs Thornycroft Dr and Mrs Ianson and another lady The latter quickly passed out of the immediate circle and sat down in a retired corner of the room
Agatha looked pale and worn out which was no wonder considering that for several days she had endured morning noon and night all the wearisome preparations which the kindhearted Emma deemed indispensable to a really nice wedding But her betrothed noticed her paleness with troubled eyes
You are not ill my darling
No said Agatha abruptly blushing lest any one should hear the tender word which none had ever used to her before and blushing still deeper when meeting Major Harpers anxious looks fixed on them both she fancied he had heard A foolish sensitiveness made her turn away from her lover and talk to the first person who came in her way
Meanwhile Mr Thornycroft and Dr Ianson with a knowledge that time was precious had gone at once to the business of the meeting and were deep in perusal of the marriagesettlement of which they were to be witnesses
Why Miss Bowen you are a richer girl than I knew said Emmas worthy husband coming forward with his round pleasant face I congratulate you at this particular crisis when hundreds are being ruined by last years mania for railway speculation it is most fortunate to have safe funded property
Major Harpers conscience groaned within and it was all over He resigned himself to stern necessity and force of circumstances—hoping everything would turn out for the best
Then they all gathered round the table and Mr Grimes droned out the necessary formalities The brideelect listened half in a dream—the bridegroom rather more attentively
Are you quite sure said he pausing with the pen in his hand and casting his eyes keenly over the document—are you quite sure this deed answers the purpose I intended This is the total amount of property which Mr Bowen left
And he looked from his brother to the lawyer with an anxiety which long afterwards recurred bitterly to Agathas mind
Mr Grimes bowed and assured him that all was correct So the young bridegroom signed with a steady hand and afterwards watched the rather tremulous signature of his bride Then an inexpressible content diffused itself over his face Putting her arm in his he led her away proudly as though she were already his own
Confused by her novel position Agatha looked instinctively for some womanly encouragement but Emma Thornycroft was busily engaged in admiring observation of some wedding presents and Mrs Ianson was worse than nobody
Miss Valery—what has become of Miss Valery said the bride her eyes wandering restlessly around Other eyes followed hers—Major Harpers Incredulously these rested on the silent lady in the background whose whole mien figure and attire in the plain dark dress and close morning cap marked her a woman undeniably and fearlessly middleaged
Is it possible he exclaimed Can that be Anne Valery
The lady arose and met him with extended hand It is Anne Valery and she is very glad to see you Major Harper
They shook hands his confused manner contrasting strongly with her perfect serenity After a moment Miss Bowen who could not help watching heard him say
I too am glad we have met at last I hope it is as friends
I was never otherwise to you she answered gently and joined the circle
This rather singular greeting noticed by none but herself awakened Agathas old wrath against Major Harper lest as her romantic imagination half suggested the secret of Anne Valerys always remaining Anne Valery was that his old companion had been first on the illustrious Fredericks long list of broken hearts If so never was there a broken heart that made so little outward show or wore such a cheerful exterior as Miss Valerys
But Agathas own heart was too full of the busy trembling fancies natural to her position to speculate overmuch on the hearts of other people Very soon Major Harper quitted the house and the Thornycrofts also She was left alone with her lover and with Anne—Anne who ever since her arrival had seemed to keep a steady watch over Nathanaels bride They had rarely met and for brief intervals yet Agatha felt that she was perpetually under this guardianship gentle though strong—holding her fluctuating spirit firm and filling her with all cheerful hopes and tender thoughts of her future husband She seemed to grow a better woman every time she saw Anne Valery It was inexpressibly sweet to turn for a few moments each day from the lace and the ribbons the dresses and the bridecake and hear Anne talk of what true marriage really was—when two people entirely and worthily loved one another
Only Agatha had not the courage to confess what she began to hope was a foolish doubt that the love which Miss Valery seemed to take for granted she felt towards Nathanael was a something which as yet she herself did not quite understand
That Saturday afternoon nevertheless she was calmer and more at ease Signing the settlement had removed all doubts from her mind and made her realise clearly that she would soon be Mr Harpers wife And he was so tender over her so happy Her marriage with him appeared to make every one happy That very day he had brought her a heap of letters from Dorsetshire her first welcome from his kindred—her own that would be
They seemed to know all about her—from Anne Valery doubtless—and to be delighted at Nathanaels choice There was a kind but formal missive from the old father implying his dignified satisfaction that at last one of his sons would marry to keep up the family name From the daughters there were letters varying in style and matter but all cordial except perhaps Eulalies who had years to wait before she married and was rather cross accordingly One note in neat and delicate writing made Agathas heart beat for it was signed Your affectionate sister Elizabeth
She who had longed for a sister all her life Heaven was very good to her to give her all ties through one It seemed indeed right and holy that she should be married to Nathanael
One only unutterable terror she had which by a fortunate chance was never alluded to by any one and she was too much occupied to have it often forced on her mind This was the thought of having to cross the seas to Canada
Oh she sighed as she sat with the letters on her lap listening to what her lover said of his sisters and his family—oh that we could do as your father seems to wish and go and live in Dorsetshire near Kingcombe Holm
I wish it too if it would please you dear but it seems impossible How could I live in England without a profession—even supposing Uncle Brian did consent to return and settle at home Sometimes but very rarely he has hinted at such a possibility—He has indeed Anne continued the young man noticing how keenly Miss Valerys eyes were fixed on him
I am glad to hear it
But he always said he would never return till he was grown either very rich or very old Alas the latter chance may come but the former never Poor Uncle Brian If he comes at all it is sure not to be for many years
Not for many years repeated Miss Valery who was crossing over to Agathas side with a piece of rich lace she had been unfolding As she walked her hand was unconsciously pressed upon her chest a habit she had after any quick movement And leaning over Agatha she breathed painfully and hard
My dear The young girl looked up Your sisters that are to be desired me to give you from them a weddingpresent It was to be your veil But I had a whim that I would like to give you your veil myself Here it is Will you accept it with my love
Will You Accept It With My Love P090
So saying she laid over the brides head a piece of old point lace magnificent in texture Agatha had never seen anything like it
Oh Miss Valery to think of your giving me this It is fit for a queen And she looked at Mr Harper hesitating to accept so costly a gift
Nay take it said he smiling Never scruple at its costliness it cannot be richer than Annes heart And he grasped his old friends hand warmly
Miss Valery continued with a slight colour rising in her cheek This was given me twenty years ago for a weddingveil It has been wasted upon me you see but I wish some one to wear it and would like it to be worn by a Mrs Locke Harper
Agatha blushed crimson Nathanael looked delighted Neither noticed Anne Valery who her passing colour having sunk into a still deeper paleness quietly returned to her seat and soon after quitted the house
CHAPTER IX
It was a most unconscionably early hour on the wedding morning when Mrs Thornycroft who had insisted on mounting guard overnight in Bedford Square to see that all things were made ready to go off merry as a marriage bell came into Agathas room and roused the bride
I never knew such a thing in all my life Well he is the most extraordinary young man What is to be done my dear
What—what said Agatha waking with a confused notion that something very dreadful had happened or was going to happen She recollected that this day on which she so early opened her eyes was some day of great solemnity It seemed so like that of her fathers funeral
Dont be frightened love Nothing has occurred only there is Mr Harper in the parlour below wanting to speak with you I never heard of such a request from a bridegroom It is contrary to all rules of common sense and decorum
Hush said Agatha trying to collect her thoughts Tell me exactly his message
That he wished to speak with you at once before you dress for church and will wait for you in the diningroom What—you are not going to do as he desires—I wouldnt One should never obey till after marriage
Agatha made no answer but composedly began to dress In a few minutes she had once more put on the mourning laid aside as she thought for ever the night before and had gone downstairs to her bridegroom
He was standing in the only available corner of the room not occupied by a chaotic mass of hymeneal preparations and gazing vacantly out into the square where the trees cast the long shadows of early morning while the merry little sparrows kept up a perpetual din
As the door moved Mr Harper turned round He had a sickly worn look as if he had scarcely slept all night and in his manner was a strange mingling of trouble and of joy
Agatha—how kind I ought to apologise he began taking both her hands But no I cannot
Nothing is wrong No misfortune happened
Misfortune God forbid Surely I do not look as if it were a misfortune I am only too glad—too happy Whatever results from it I am indeed happy
Then so am I whatsoever it may be returned Agatha softly Still do tell me
Her bridegroom as he pressed her to his bosom looked as if he had for the moment forgotten all about his tidings but afterwards when her second entreaty came he took out a letter and bade her read holding her fast the while with a light firm hand on her shoulder He seemed almost to fear that at the news he brought she would glide out of his grasp like snow
It is an odd hand—strange to me said Agatha Is it—and a sudden thought struck her—is it——
Yes—thank God
Oh then he is safe—I am so glad—so glad cried Agatha in the true sympathy of her heart But her very gladness appeared to affect contrariwise the troubled mood of her lover His hand dropped imperceptibly from her shoulder—he sat down
Read the letter which came late last night I thought you would be pleased—that was why I thus disturbed you
Agatha who had not yet learned the joy or pain of reading momently the changes of a beloved face immediately perused the letter It was rather eccentric of its kind
Lodge of Omenottua
My dear Boy
If ever you get into the hands of those red devils be not alarmed it isnt so bad as it seems If you saw me now in the big buffalocloak of a medicine man after smoking dozens of pipes of peace with every one of the tribe sitting at the door of my lodge with miles of high prairiegrass rolling in waves towards the sunset you would rather envy me than otherwise and cry out as I have often done Away with civilisation
I am not scalped—I thought I should not be the tribe it wastes valuable paper to write their long name but you will have heard it the tribe know me too well I make a capital white medicineman I might have escaped any day but pshaw honour—So I choose to see a little of the great western forests until I know how my two red friends have been treated on Lake Winnipeg shore But in no case is any harm likely to come to me except those chances of mortality which are common to all
You will receive this which a worthy psalmsinging missionary conveys to New York almost as soon as the news of our adventure reaches Europe I send it to relieve you dear nephew and all friends if I have any left from further anxiety concerning me and especially from useless search as under no circumstances whatever shall I consent to return to Montreal until it seems to me good
Therefore stay in Europe as long as or longer than you planned and God prosper you Nathanael my good boy
Your affectionate uncle
Brian Locke Harper
I trust earnestly that this scrawl will reach Kingcombe Holm Possibly no more news of me may ever reach there—Yet I fear not for He who is everywhere is likewise in the wild western prairies and life is not so sweet that I should dread its ending Still if it does end remember me to my brother my nieces and all old friends including Anne Valery If living I shall reappear sometime somewhere B L H
This is indeed happy news—so far said Agatha though he seems in no cheerful mood
Melancholy was always his way at times
What a strange man he must be she continued still thinking more of the letter than of anything else But—and she turned to Nathanael—your mind is now at rest You will not need to go to America
Not just yet
She looked at him a moment in surprise for there was something peculiar in his manner She felt half angry with him for sitting so still and speaking so briefly while she herself was trembling with delight Have you told Miss Valery He shook his head Ah then go at once and tell her so happy as she will be Do go
Presently Come and sit down here I want to talk to you Agatha
She let him place her by his side He took her hands and regarded her earnestly
Do you remember what day this was to have been
Was to have been she repeated and instinctively guessed what he had doubtless come to say Her heart began to beat violently and her eyes dropped in confusion
I say was because if you desire it it shall not be I see the very idea is a relief to you I saw it in your sudden joy
Agatha was amazed—she had till this moment never thought of such a thing Mr Harpers whole manner of speech and proceeding was so very incomprehensible—like a lovers—that she told the entire truth in simply saying that she did not understand him
Let me repeat it in plainer words But the plainer words would not come after one or two vain efforts he sat with averted face speechless At last he said abruptly Agatha do you wish to defer our marriage
As he spoke his grasp of her hand was so fierce that it positively hurt her Oh let me go—you are not kind she cried shrinking from the pain which he did not even perceive he had inflicted—so strange a mood was upon him He loosed her hand at once and stood up before her speaking vehemently
I meant to be kind—very kind—just in the way that I knew would most please you I meant to tell you that I wish you to hold yourself quite free both as to this day or any other days that you have only to say the word and—What a fool I am making of myself
Muttering the last words he turned and walked quickly to the far end of the room leaving Agatha to meditate It was a new thing to see such passion in him and while half frightened she was interested and touched She would have been more so but for a certain something in him which roused her pride until she could not do as she had at first intended—follow him and ask why he was angry The humility of love was not yet hers
So she sat without moving her eyes fixed on her hand where the red mark left by her lovers grasp was slowly disappearing until a minute after he approached
Was that the mark of my fingers on your wrist Did I hurt you my poor Agatha
Yes a little
Forgive me And sitting down beside her he bent his lips to where his rude grasp had been kissing the little wrist over and over again though he did not speak
His humility in this the first ripple which had ever stirred their calmest of all calm courtships moved Agatha even more than his sudden gust of passion It is a curious fact that some women—and they not of the weaker or more foolish kind—like very much to be ruled A strong nature is instinctively attracted by one still stronger Most certainly Agatha had never so distinctly felt the cords—not exactly of love but of some influence akin thereto—which this young man had netted round her as when he began to draw them with a tight firm hand less that of a submissive lover than of a dominant husband She had never liked him half so well as when taking her hand once more into his determined hold he said—gently indeed but in a tone that would be answered—
Now tell me what do you wish
What do I wish echoed she feeling as though some hard but firm support were about to relax from her leaving her trembling and insecure to the worlds open blasts I do not know—I cannot tell Talk to me a little that will help me to judge
His eye brightened though faintly I will speak but you shall decide for all lies in your own hands I thought this right and came here determined on telling you so
Well said Agatha expectantly
You promised me this hand today believing I was to leave England at once My not leaving frees you from that promise—at least at present If you would rather wait until you know me better or love me better then—
What then
We will quite blot out this day—crush it—destroy it no matter what it was to have been We will enter upon tomorrow not as wife and husband but mere lovers—friends—acquaintances—anything you like Nay—I am growing a fool again
He put his hand to his forehead sighed heavily and then continued with less violence
If this is what you wish—as from your silence I conclude it is—be assured Agatha that I shall consent I will take no wife against her will The kisses of her lips would sting me if there were no love in her heart
Agatha was still silent
Well then it must be so said he in slow measured speech I must go away out of this house for I am no bridegroom You may tell the women to put away this white finery till it is wanted—which may be—never
She looked up questioningly
I repeat—never The currents of life so many and so fierce may sweep us asunder at any moment I may become mercenary and choose a richer wife even than yourself or you may turn from me to some one more pleasing more winning—my brother perhaps—
Agatha recoiled while the angry blood flashed from brow to throat Her lover saw it and for the moment a strange intentness was in his gaze But immediately he smiled as a man would at some horrible phantom of his own creating and continued with a softened manner
Or if our own wills hold secure many things may happen as Anne Valery forewarned us to prevent our union Even ere a month or two—for if you are ever mine it must be as soon as then—but even within that time one or other of us may have gone away where no loving no regretting can ever call us back any more
Terrible was the imagined solitude of a world from which had passed the only being who cherished her—the only being whom she thoroughly honoured Agatha drew closer to Nathanael
Still for all that continued he striving to keep even in his mind the balance of honour and generous tenderness against the arguments of selfish passion if for any reason you wish to postpone this day for weeks months or years I will take the chance All shall be as you deem best for your own happiness As for mine—I will try to be content
He paused a little but it was a pause which no woman could misunderstand Then turning back to her he said in a low tone
When am I to go away Agatha
Her brow dropped slowly against his arm as much agitated yet not unhappy she whispered the one word Never
For one moment Agatha felt against her own the loud convulsive throbs of the heart that loved her—an embrace which in its fierce rapture was like none that came before it or after When she learned to count and chronicle such tokens of love as one begins to count each wave when the sand grows dry this embrace remained to her as a truth a reality which no succeeding doubts could explain away or gainsay
It lasted as such moments can but last a space too brief to be reckoned dying out of its own intensity Agatha slid from her lovers arms and swiftly passing out at the door met Emma coming in The unlucky bridegroom was left to make his own explanation to Mrs Thornycroft and how he performed that feat remains a mystery to this day
Solemnly and much affected the bride went upstairs to put on her weddinggarments
Anne Valery had just arrived She sat alone in Miss Bowens dressingroom playing with the orangewreath Her face wore a thoughtful sickly sad look but the moment she heard some one at the door this expression vanished
So my dear you have a rather unconscionable bridegroom Mrs Thornycroft tells me He has been here already
Suddenly all that had happened recurred to Agatha She forgot her own agitation in the joy of being the first to bring good news
Ah you little know why he came Uncle Brian—there is a letter from Uncle Brian
And in her warmheartedness of delight she threw her arms round Miss Valerys neck She was very much surprised that Anne did not speak a single word and that the cheek against which her young glowing one was pressed felt as cold as marble
Are you not glad Miss Valery
Yes very glad Now will you go downstairs and fetch me the letter
And gently putting the young girl from her Anne sat down As Agatha left the room she fancied she heard a faint sound—a sigh or gasp but Miss Valery had not moved She sat as at first—her hands clasped on her lap the veil of her bonnet falling over her face And coming back some minutes after Agatha found her in precisely the same position
Thank you dear She held out her hand for the letter and then retired with it to a far window It took a good while to read All the time that the young bride was being dressed by Emma and the maid Miss Valery stood in that recess her back turned towards them apparently reading or pondering over that strange scrawl from the Far West
At last Mrs Thornycroft gently hinted that there was hardly time for her to return home and dress for the wedding
Dress for the wedding repeated Anne absently Oh yes I remember it was to be early No fear I will be quite ready
She crossed the room walking slowly but at the door turned to look at the bride on whose head Emma was already placing the orangeblossoms
Doesnt she look pretty appealed the gratified matronministrant
Yes very pretty—God bless her said Miss Valery and kissed her on the forehead Agatha quite started—the lips were so cold
Well cried Emma Thornycroft as the door closed I do wish my dear that little Missy had been grown up enough to be your bridesmaid instead of that very quiet ordinarylooking old maid But after all the contrast will be the greater
At nine oclock the brides half of the weddingparty were all safely assembled in Doctor Iansons drawingroom and everything promised to go off successfully—to which result Emma now all in her glory prided herself as having been the main contributor—and no doubt the kind active sensible little matron was right—When lo—there came an unlucky contretemps
Major Harper who of course was to give away the bride sent word that on account of sudden business he could not possibly be at the church before eleven At that hour he promised faithfully to meet his brother there The note which he sent over was a very hurried and disjointed scrawl This was all that the vexed bridegroom knew of the matter
So for two long hours Agatha sat in her weddingdress strangely quiet and silent—sometimes playing with the wreath of orangeblossoms which her lover had sent her and which being composed of natural flowers according to a whim of Mr Harpers was already beginning to fade Still she refused to put it aside though the prudent Emma warned her it would be quite withered before she reached the church as was sure to be the case when people were so ridiculous as to wear real flowers
The good soul went about half scolding half crying hoping nothing might happen or consoling herself with looking alternately at her pretty peachcoloured dress and her James who walked about indulging in gay reminiscences of his own wedding and looking the most comfortable specimen imaginable of a worthy middleaged family man Nevertheless in spite of Mr Thornycrofts efforts to cheer up the dreariness of the group it was a great relief to everybody when at the earliest reasonable time the brides small party started and were at length assembled under the dark arches of Bloomsbury Church—darker than usual today for the morning had gloomed over and become close hot and thundery
Punctually at eleven but not a minute before which—Emma whispered—was certainly not quite courteous in a bridegroom Mr Harper came in There was no one with him
My brother not here he said in anxiety
Some one hinted that Major Harper was never very punctual
He ought to be this day at least observed Mr Thornycroft And I am confident I saw him not halfanhour ago walking homeward round the other side of Bedford Square Do not be alarmed about him pray This last remark was addressed to Agatha who overpowered by the closeness of the day and by these repeated disasters had begun to turn pale
Nathanael watched her with a keen anxiety which only agitated her the more Every one seemed uneasy and rather dull—a circumstance not very remarkable since in spite of the popular delusion on that subject very few ever really look happy at a wedding It makes clearer to each one the silent ghost sitting in every human heart which may take any form—bliss long desired lost or unfulfilled—or in the fulfilling changed to pain—or at best looked back upon with a memory halfpensive if only because it is the past
For forty interminable minutes did the little party wait in the dreary church aisles until the clock and likewise the beadle warned them it was near the canonical hour
What are we to do whispered the bridegroom looking towards Anne Valery She took his hand and drawing it towards Agathas which hung on her arm said earnestly
Wait no longer—lifes changes will not wait Marry her now—nothing should come between lovers that love one another
Annes manner so faltering so different from her usual self irresistibly impressed the hearers Silently the little group moved to the altar the clergyman weary of delay hurried the service and in a few minutes the young creatures who eight weeks before had scarcely heard each others names were made not two but one flesh
It was all like a dream to Agatha Bowen she never believed in its reality until signing that name Agatha Bowen in the registerbook she remembered she was so signing it for the last time A moment after Emmas husband who had assumed the office of father to the bride cordially shaking her hand wished all happiness to Mrs Harper
Agatha started shivered and burst into tears It was a natural thing after so many hours of overstrained excitement nor were her tears those of unhappiness yet they seemed every drop to burn on her bridegrooms heart To crown all while these unlucky tears were still falling some one at the vestry door cried out Theres Major Harper
It was indeed himself He entered the church hurriedly—very pale—with beads of dew standing on his brow
Are they married Am I too late—are they married cried he
Some uncontrollable feeling made Nathanael move to his wifes side and snatch her hand
Yes said he meeting his brothers eye we are married
Major Harper sank into one of the vestrychairs muttering something inaudible to all ears save those which seemed fatally gifted with preternatural acuteness—the young bridegrooms Nathanael fancied—nay was certain—that he heard his brother say Oh my poor Agatha He looked suddenly at his bride whose weeping had changed into silent but violent trembling He dropped her hand then with a determined air again took possession of it saying sharply to his brother
What is the reason of all this Is anything amiss
No nothing—have I said anything
Then why startle us thus It is not right Frederick
Hush—perhaps he is ill whispered Anne Valery
Major Harper looked up and among the many inquiring eyes met hers It seemed to fix him sting him rouse him to selfcommand
I am quite well he cried with a hoarse attempt at laughter A gay bachelor always feels doubly cheery at a wedding So it is all over Nathanael I beg your pardon for being too late but I have been running about town on important business till I am halfdead Still let me offer my congratulations to the bride
He came forward jauntily seized Agathas hand and was about to kiss it but for a slight shrinking on her part The colour rushed to her face—his darkened with an expression of uncontrollable pain At least so it appeared to one who never for a moment relaxed his watch—the younger brother
Really said Mr Thornycroft who during the few minutes thus occupied had bustled in and out of the vestry—really are we never intending to come home Somebody must make a diversion here Major Harper will you take my wife Miss Valery allow me
This fortunate interference effected a change All moved away a little from the bridegroom who was still standing by his wifes chair
Agatha—will you come
She mechanically rose Mr Harper drew her arm in his and led her down the aisle There were a few stray lookerson at the churchdoor who peered at them curiously An inexplicable shadow hung over them Never were a newlymarried couple more silent or more grave
Only as they stood on the entrancesteps that were wet with a past shower of thunderrain and Agatha in her thin white shoes was walking right on her husband drew her back
It will not hurt me Do let me go she said
No you must not you are mine now was the answer with a look that would have made the tone of control sound in any loving brides ear the sweetest ever heard
He left Agatha in the church and hurried a little in advance His brother and Mrs Thomycroft were standing at the porch outside Emma laughing and whispering And while waiting for the carriage it so chanced that Nathanael caught what they were saying
Why Major Harper you look as dull as if you had been in love with Agatha yourself And after what you confessed to me I did positively believe she was in love with you
Agatha in love with me really you flatter me said Major Harper looking down and tapping his boot with his own selfcomplacent regretful smile
I did indeed think it from her agitation when I hinted at such a thing And I never was more amazed in my life than when she told me she was going to marry your brother I do hope poor dear Agatha—
Dont speak of her cried Major Harper in a burst of real emotion And she liked me so well poor child Oh I wish to Heaven I had married her and saved her from—
Here a voice was heard calling Mr Harper—Mr Harper but the bridegroom was nowhere to be seen Some one—not her husband—put Agatha into the carriage Several minutes after Nathanael appeared
Where have you been Your wife is waiting
My wife He looked round bewildered as if the words struck him with the awful irrevocable sense of what was done Hurriedly he ran down the steps sprang into the carriage beside Agatha and they drove away
Through many streets and squares they passed for the breakfast was to be at Emmas house Agatha sat for the first time alone with her husband The sun just coming out threw a soft crimson light through the closed carriage blinds the very air felt warm and sweet like love Agathas heart was stirred with a new tenderness towards him into whose keeping she had just given her whole life
For a little while she sat her eyes cast down wondering what he would say or do whether he would take her hand or draw her softly to his breast and let her cry her heart out there as she almost longed to do—poor fatherless motherless brotherless sisterless girl who in her husband alone must concentrate every earthly tie
But he never spoke—never moved He leaned back in the carriage as pale as death his lips rigidly shut together his eyes shut too except that now and then they opened and closed again to show that he was not in a state of total unconsciousness But towards his young wife no look ever once wandered
At length he started as from a trance and saw her sitting there very quiet for the pride of her nature was beginning to rise at this strange treatment from him to whom she had just given herself—her all She was nervously moving the fingers of her left hand where the newly placed ring felt heavy and strange
Nathanael snatched the hand with violence
Agatha—are you not my Agatha Tell me the truth—the whole truth I will have it from you
Mr Harper she exclaimed half frightened half angry
His long searching gaze tried to read her every feature—her pale cheeks—her lips proud nay almost sullen—her eyes from which the softness so lately visible had changed into inquietude and trouble There was in her all maidenly innocence—no one could doubt that but nothing could be more unlike the shy tenderness of a bride loving and married for love
Slowly slowly the young bridegrooms gaze fell from her and his thoughts settled into dull conviction All his violence ceased leaving an icy composure which in itself bore the omen of its lasting stay
Forgive me he said in a kind but cold voice while his vehement grasp relaxed into a loose hold You are my dear wife now and I will try to be a good husband to you Agatha
Stooping forward his lips just touched her cheek—which shrank from him Agatha scarcely knew why
I see he muttered to himself Well be it so and God help us both
The carriage stopped Honest Mr James Thomycroft was at the door bidding a gay and fullhearted welcome to the bridegroom and bride
What a marriageday
CHAPTER X
Are you quite warm there Agatha
Yes thank you quite warm she said turning round a little and then turning back She sat working or seeming to work at a large bay window that fronted the sea at Brighton Already there had come over her the slight but unmistakable change which indicates the wife—the girl no longer She had been married just one week
Her husband sat at a table writing as was his habit during the middle of the day in order that they might walk out in the evening He had often been thus busy during the week even though it was the first week of the honeymoon
The honeymoon How different the word now sounded to Agatha Yet she had nothing to complain of Mr Harper was very kind watchful and tender over her to a degree which she felt even more than she saw In the mornings he read to her or talked chiefly upon subjects higher and withal pleasanter than Agatha had ever heard talked of before in the evenings they drove out or walked till far into the starry summer night They were together constantly there never passed between them a quick or harsh word and yet—
Agatha vainly tried to solve the dim cloudy yet which had no tangible form and only arose now that the first bewilderment of her changed existence was settling into reality and she was beginning to recognise herself as Agatha Harper no longer a girl but a married woman The sole conclusion she could come to was that she must be now learning what she supposed every one had to learn—that a honeymoon is not quite the dream of bliss which young people believe in and that few married couples are quite happy during the first year of their union
And Mrs Harper or Mrs Locke Harper as her husband had had printed on the cards omitting the name which she had once stigmatised as ugly was probably not altogether wide of the truth though in this case she judged from mistaken because individual evidence It is next to impossible that two lives unless assimilated by strong attachment and rare outward circumstances if suddenly thrown together should at once mingle and flow harmoniously on It takes time and the influence of perfect love to melt and fuse the two currents into one beautiful whole Perhaps did all young lovers believe and prepare for this there would be fewer disappointed and unhappy marriages
Though sitting at the open window with the sharp seabreeze blowing in upon her—it happened to be a sunless and gloomy day—Agatha had answered that she was quite warm Nevertheless her heart felt cold Not positively sad yet void A great deal of passionate devotion is necessary to make two active human beings content with one anothers sole company for eight entire days having nothing to occupy them but each other
Wanting this—yet scarcely conscious of her need—the young wife sat in her secret soul all shivering and acold At last wearied with the long grey sweep of undulating sea she closed the window
I thought the breeze would be too keen for you said Mr Harper whom her lightest movement always seemed to attract
Oh no but I am tired of watching the waves How melancholy it must be to live here I have a perfect terror of the sea
Had I known that I would not have proposed our coming today from Leamington to Brighton But we can leave tomorrow
I did not mean that she answered quickly dreading lest her husband might have thought her speech ungracious or unkind We need not go—unless you wish it
The bridegroom made no immediate reply but there was a melancholy tenderness in his eyes as without her knowing it he sat watching his young wife At length he rose and putting her arm in his stood a long time with her at the window
I think dear Agatha that you are right The sea is always sad How dreary it looks now—like a widestretched monotonous life whose ending we see not yet it must be crossed How shall we cross it
Agatha looked inquiringly
The sea I mean he continued with a sudden change of tone Shall we go over to France for a week or two
Oh no—and she shuddered It would kill me to cross the water
He looked surprised at her unaccountable repugnance which she had scarcely expressed than she seemed overpowered by confusion Her husband forbore to question her further but the next day told her that he had arranged for their quitting Brighton and making a tour through the west of England proceeding from thence to London
Where—as my brother or rather my brothers solicitor writes me word—some business about your fortune will require our return in another fortnight Are you willing Agatha
Oh yes—quite willing she cried for now that her changed life was floating her far away from her old ties she began to have a yearning for them all
So the honeymoon dwindled to three weeks at the close of which Mr and Mrs Locke Harper were again in London
It seemed very strange to Agatha to come back to the known places and roll over the old familiar London stones and see all things going on as usual while in herself had come so wide a gap of existence as if those oneandtwenty days of absence had been oneandtwenty years
She had become a little more happy lately a little more used to her new life And day by day something undefinable began to draw her towards her husband It was in fact the dawning spirit of love which should and might have come before marriage instead of being as now an aftergrowth Beneath its influence Nathanaels very likeness altered his face grew more beautiful his voice softer Looking at him now as he sat by her side Mr Harper hardly appeared to her the same man who returning from the church as her bridegroom had impressed her with such shrinking awe
He too was more cheerful All the long railway journey he had tried to amuse her the humorous half of his disposition—for Nathanael had like most good men a spice of humour about him—coming out as it had never done before However as they neared London he as well as his wife had become rather grave But when abruptly turning round he perceived her earnestly even tenderly regarding him at which Agatha was foolish enough to blush as if it were a crime to be looking admiringly at ones husband he melted into a smile
Here we are in the old quarters Agatha The question is Where shall we go to since we have no lodgings taken
You should have let me write to Emma as I wished
No he said shortly it was a pity to trouble her
She would not have thought it so poor dear Emma
Were you very intimate with Mrs Thornycroft Did you tell her everything in your heart as women do
Agatha was amused by the jealous searching tone and look so replied carelessly Oh yes all I had to tell which was not much I dont deal in mysteries nor like them But the chief mystery now seems to be where are we to go If Emma may not be troubled surely Mrs Ianson or your brother—
My brother is out of town
Indeed And Agatha looked as she felt neither glad nor sorry but purely indifferent Her husband observing it became more cheerful
Nay my dear Agatha you shall not be inconvenienced We will go first to some quiet lodgings I know of where Anne Valery always stays when she is in London—though she has returned home now I think And afterwards if you find the evening very dull—
Ah exclaimed the young wife smiling a beautiful negative
We will go and take a sentimental walk through those very squares we strolled through that night—do you remember
Yes
How strange seemed that recollection—how little she had then thought she was walking with her future husband
Yet when a few hours after she trod the wellknown streets with her wifely feelings sweet and grave and thought that the arm on which she now leaned was her own through life Agatha Harper was not unhappy nor would she for one moment have wished to be again Agatha Bowen
The next day by the husbands express desire—the declaring of which was a great act of selfdenial on his part—word was sent to the Thornycrofts of the arrival of Mr and Mrs Locke Harper
Very trembling shy and bewitching the bride sat waiting for the meeting and when Emma did really come very tragicocomic half pleasure half tears was the hearty embrace between the two women Mr Harper stood and looked on—he played the young husband as composedly as he had done the lover and the bridegroom except for a slight jealous movement as he saw the clinging the kisses the tears which with the warmth of a heart thrilled by new emotions and budding out into all manner of new tendernesses Agatha lavished on her friend
Yet whatever he felt no one could observe but that Nathanael was extremely polite and kind to Mrs Thornycroft She on her part admired him extremely—in whispers
How well he looks Really quite changed No one would ever think of calling him a boy now You must be quite proud of your husband my dear
Agatha smiled and a light thrill at her heart betrayed its answer Very soon she ceased to be shy and shamefaced and sat talking quite at ease as if she had been Mrs Locke Harper for at least a year
Emma Thornycroft was a person not likely to waste much time on the sentimentalities of such a meeting she soon dashed into the commonsense question of what were their plans in London and when they would come and dine with herself and James Quite friendly We will ask no one except of course Major Harper
He is out of town said Nathanael
What a pity—Yet no wonder London is so terribly hot now Is he quite well
I believe so Agatha answered for her husband who had moved off
Because James has met him frequently of late rushing about the City as pale as a ghost and looking so miserable We were afraid something was wrong with him
Oh I hope not exclaimed Agatha eagerly
My brother is quite well Mr Harper again observed from his outpost by the window and something in his tone unconsciously checked and changed the conversation
Whether by Agathas real inclination or by some unnoticed influence of Nathanaels who gentle as his manners were through a score of other opposing wills seemed always silently to attain his own Mrs Thornycrofts hospitable schemes were overruled At least the venue was changed from Regents Park to the Harpers own temporary home—where as if by magic a multitude of small luxuries had already gathered round the young wife She took all quite naturally never pausing to think how they came
It was with a trepidation which had yet its pleasure that she arrayed herself for this the first time of her taking her place at the head of her husbands table She put on a high white gown which Mr Harper had once said he liked—she was beginning to be anxious over her dress and appearance now Glancing into the mirror there recurred to her mind a speech she had once heard from some foolish matron—Oh it does not signify what I wear or how I look—Im married Agatha thought what a very wrong doctrine that was and laughed at herself for never having much cared to seem pleasing until she had some one to please Nay now for the first time she grumbled at the Pawneeface wishing it had been fairer
But fair or not when it came timidly and shone over Nathanaels shoulder he sitting leaning thoughtfully on his hand the result was such as materially to relieve any womanly doubts about her personal appearance He kissed her in unwonted smiling tenderness
I like that dress and your curls—softly touching them—your curls fall so prettily How well you look Agatha Happy too Is it really so Are you getting more used to me and my faults dear There was something inexpressibly tender in the way he said Dear the only caressing word he ever used
Your faults reechoed she in a merry incredulous tone But before she could say more the guests most inopportunely arrived And Agatha very naturally darted from her husband to the other side of the room like a flash of lightning
If the Thornycrofts had expected to find a couple of turtledoves cooing in a cage they were certainly disappointed Mr and Mrs Locke Harper had apparently settled down into an ordinary husband and wife resuming serenely their place in society and behaving towards each other and the world in general just like sensible old married people Their friends taking the hint treated them in like manner and thus now and for ever vanished Agathas honeymoon
After dinner Emma anxious about Agathas proceedings and still more anxious to have a hand in the same for she was never happy unless busy about her own or other peoples affairs made inquiries as to the future plans of the young couple
Agatha could give no answer for to her great thankfulness her husband had hitherto avoided the subject She looked at him for a reply
I think Mrs Thornycroft it will probably be three months before I—he smilingly corrected himself and said we return to Canada
Then what do you intend to do meanwhile Of course Agatha dear you will remain in London
Oh yes she replied accustomed to decide for herself and forgetting at the moment that there was now another to whose decision she was bound to defer Blushing she looked towards her husband who was talking to Mr Thornycroft He turned as indeed he always did when he heard her speaking but he made no remark and the Yes passed as their mutual assent to Emmas question
I know a place that would just suit you pursued the latter that is if you take a furnished house
I should like it much
It is but a cottage—rather small considering your means bytheby Agatha how close our friend the Major kept all your affairs No one imagined you were so rich
Neither did I most certainly But—the cottage
The prettiest little place imaginable Such a love of a drawingroom I went there to call on young Northens sister when she married last year Poor thing—sad affair that my dear
Indeed said Agatha who now felt an interest in all stories of marriages
It happened a fortnight ago soon after your wedding They quarrelled—she got through a window and ran away home to her father It seems she had never cared a straw for her husband but had married him out of spite liking some one else better all the time His own brother too they say
What a wicked—wicked thing cried Agatha warmly So warmly that she did not see close by her chair her husband—watching her intently nay wildly As she ceased he rose from his stooping attitude His countenance became wonderfully beautiful altogether glowing
Really you seem to have comprehended the matter at once said Mr Thornycroft startled in the windingup of a long harangue about the Corn Laws by the exceedingly bright look which his hearer turned towards him
Yes I think I shall soon comprehend everything was the answer as Mr Harper placed himself on the arm of his wifes chair in the gay attitude of a very boy She moving a little made room for him and smiled Nay she even leant silently against his arm which he had thrown round the back of her chair
Come Agatha I want to hear about that wonderful house which your friend is persuading you to take You know I happen to have a little concern in the matter likewise Have I not Mr Thornycroft
Certainly since you have turned out to be that no less wonderful personage which my wife has been perpetually boring me about for the last two years—Agathas Husband said Mr Thornycroft patiently resigning the Corn Laws to their inevitable doom—oblivion
But Emma plunging gladly into her native element discussed the whole house from attic to kitchen Mr Harper listened with a complaisant and amused look Beginning to discern the sterling good there was in the little woman he passed over her harmless smallmindedness knowing well that in the widebuilt mansion of human nature there must be always a certain order of beings honourable useful and excellent in themselves to form the basementstory
The twilight darkened while Emma talked the faster perhaps that her James whose respected presence always restrained her tongue was discovered to be undeniably asleep But the young couple were excellent listeners Nathanael still sat balancing himself on the arm of his wifes chair his hand having dropped playfully among her curls He joined with gaiety in all the discussions More than once in talking of the various arrangements of their new household his voice faltered and the hearts of the husband and wife seemed trembling towards one another
The conversation ended in Emmas receiving carteblanche to take the house if practicable that the Harpers might settle there for three months certain
Come this is better than I expected cried the worthy little woman We shall be neighbours and I can teach Agatha housekeeping She will have a nice little ménage and can give a proper At Home and charming wedding parties Shall she not Mr Harper
If she wishes
But Agathas whispered No and kind pressure of the hand brought to him a most blissful conviction that she did not wish and that she would be as she said happier living quietly at home Home what a word of promise that sounded in both their ears
When the lights came Mr Thornycroft woke up with many apologies poor man only as his wife said Everybody knew how hard James worked and how tired he was at night The two gentlemen fraternised once more They began one of those general arguments on the history of the times which when spoken are intensely interesting and being written as intensely prosy The ladies listened in a most wifelike and pleased submission
How well my husband talks—doesnt he whispered Emma with sparkling eyes
Agatha agreed and indeed Mr Thornycrofts strong sense and acute judgment were patent to every one But when Mr Harper spoke his clear views on every point his trenchant but pleasant wit by which he rounded off the angularities of argument and above all his keen farseeing intellect which dived into wondrous depths of knowledge and invariably brought something precious to light—these things were to the young wife a positive revelation
She sat attentive beginning to learn what strange to say was no pain—her own ignorance and her husbands superior wisdom She had never before felt at once so humble and so proud
When the Thornycrofts departed and Mr Harper returned upstairs from bidding them goodbye he found his wife in a thoughtful mood
Well dear have you had a pleasant evening Are you content with our plans
Yes—indeed more so than I deserve Oh how good you are she whispered and her shortcomings towards him grew into a great burden of regret
Hush he answered smiling we will not begin discussing one anothers goodness or you know the subject would be interminable And I would like us to hold a little serious consultation before tomorrow You are not sleepy
No
Stretch yourself out on the sofa and let me sit beside you There—are you quite comfortable
Ah yes she said and thought for the hundredth time how sweet it was to have some one to take care of her
Now my wife listen You seemed to long for that cottage very much and you shall have it Nay you ought because at present you are the rich lady while I so long as I remain in England receive none of my salary from Montreal and am comparatively speaking poor In fact nothing but that very secondary character Agathas Husband
Though he laughed there was a little jarring tone in this confession but Agatha was too simple to notice it He continued quickly
Nevertheless this question is only temporary I shall be quite your equal in Canada
In Canada she echoed dolefully Oh surely—surely we need not go
Are you in earnest Agatha
I am indeed said she gathering up courage to speak to him of what ever since her marriage had been growing an inexpressible dread
Why so
I—I am afraid to tell
Shall I tell you You cannot bear to leave your old friends You fear to go into a new country entirely among strangers with only your husband
His suddenly suspicious tone stopped the frank denial that was bursting to his wifes lips She only said a little hurt If that were true I would have told you I always speak exactly what I think
Is it so is it indeed so he cried with a lightening of countenance as sudden as its shade Oh Agatha forgive me and his heart seemed melting before her I am not good to you—but you do not quite understand me yet
I feel that Yet what can I do
Nothing Only wait I will try to cure myself without paining you But for the sake of our whole lifes happiness henceforward always be open with me Agatha Dont hide from me anything Set your frank goodness against my wicked suspiciousness and make me ashamed of myself as now
He had not spoken so freely or with so much emotion since they were married and his wife was deeply touched She made no answer but half raising herself crept to his arms almost as if she loved him So she truly did in a measure though not with the spontaneous selfexistent love which once lit in a womans breast is like the central fire hidden in the earths bosom enduring through all surface variations—through summer and winter earthquakes floods and storms—utterly unchangeable and indestructible And however wildly extravagant this simile may sound—however rare the fact it illustrates nevertheless such Love is a great truth possible and probable which has existed and may exist—thank God for it—to prove that He did not found the poetry of all humanity upon a beautiful deceit
Something of this mystery was beginning to stir in the wifes heart the girlwife married before her character was half formed—before the perfecting of real love which taking as all feelings must the impress of individual nature was in her of slow development
As Agatha lay her head hidden on her husbands shoulder guessing out of her own heart something of what was passing in his there came to her the first longing after that oneness of spirit without which marriage is but a false or base union legal and sanctified before men but oh how unholy in the sight of God
The young wife felt as if now and not until now she could unfold to her husband all the secrets of her heart all its foolishness ignorance and fears
If you will listen to me and not despise me very much I will tell you something that I have never told to any one until now
She could not imagine why but at this soft whisper he trembled however he bade her go on
You wonder why it is I am so terrified at leaving England It is not for any of the reasons you said but for one so foolish that I am half ashamed to confess it I dare not cross the sea
Is that all Mr Harper cried and the unutterable dread which had actually blanched his cheek disappeared instantaneously He felt himself another man
Wait and Ill tell you why this is continued Agatha When I was a little child somewhere about four years old I was at some seaport town—I dont know where nor ever did for there was no one with me but my nurse and she died soon after One day I remember being in a little boat going to see a large ship There were other people with us especially one lady Somehow playing with her I fell overboard Here Agatha shuddered involuntarily It may be very ridiculous but even now when I am ill or restless in mind I constantly dream over again that horrible drowning
Her husband drew her closer to him murmuring Poor child
Ah I was indeed a poor child When after being brought to life again—for I fancy I must have been nearly dead—my nurse forbade me ever to speak of what had happened no one can tell into what a terror it grew I never shall overcome it never The very sight of the sea is more than I can bear To cross it—to be on it—
Hush dear quiet yourself said her husband soothingly Now tell me all you can remember about this
Scarcely anything more except that when I came to myself I was lying on the beach with the stranger lady by me
Who was she
I have not the slightest idea Being so young I recollect little about her—in fact only one thing that just as she was leaving me to go on in the little boat my nurse called out The ship is gone and the lady fell flat down—dead as I thought then They carried me away and I never saw or heard of her again
How strange
But continued Agatha gathering courage as she found her husband did not smile at this story and beginning to speak with him more freely than she had ever done with any person in her life but you have no idea what a vivid impression the circumstance left on my mind For years I made of this lady—to whom I feel sure I owed in some way or other the saving of my life—a sort of guardian angel I believe I even prayed to her—such a queer foolish child I was—oh so foolish
Very likely dear we all are said Mr Harper gaily And you are quite sure you never saw your angel
No nor any one like her The person most like and yet very unlike too in some things was—dont laugh please—was Miss Valery That I fancy was the reason why I liked her so from the first and was ready to do anything she bade me
Then when you consented to be married it was not for love of me but of Anne Valery And beneath Nathanaels smile lingered a little sad earnest
His wife did not answer—even yet she was too shy to say the words I love you But she took his hand and reverently kissed it whispering
I am quite content I would not have things otherwise than they are And all I mean by telling such a long foolish story is this—teach me how to conquer myself and my fears and I will go with you anywhere—even across the sea
My own dear wife His voice was quite broken so sudden so unexpected was this declaration from her and by the tremblings which shook her all the while he saw how great her struggle had been
For many minutes holding her little head on his arm the young husband sat silent buried in deep thought Agatha never saw the changes bitter fierce sorrowful that by turns swept over the face under which her own lay so calmly with sweet shut eyes Strange difference between the woman and the man
Agatha he said at last I have quite decided
Decided what
That I will give up my office at Montreal and we will live in England
She was so astonished that at first she could not speak then she burst into joyful tears and hung about him murmuring unutterable thanks For the moment he felt as if this reward made his sacrifice nothing and yet it had cost him almost everything that his manly pride held dear
Then you will not go You will never cross the terrible Atlantic again
I do not promise that for I must go soon or late if only to persuade Uncle Brian to return with me to England—Uncle Brian what will he say when he learns that I have given up my independence and am living pensioner on a rich wife
Agatha looked surprised
But continued he trying to make a jest of the matter though I do renounce my income in the New World I am not going to live an idler on your little ladyships bounty I intend to work hard at anything that I can find to do And it will be strange if in this wide busy England I cannot turn to some honourable profession If not Id rather go into the fields and chop wood with this right hand—
And suddenly dashing it down on the table he startled Agatha very much so much that she again clung to him and innocently begged him not to be angry with her
Then once more Nathanael took his wife in his arms and became calm in calming her Thus they sat until the silence grew heavenly between the two and it seemed as if in this new confidence and in the joy of mutual selfrenunciation were beginning that true marriage which makes of husband and wife not only one flesh but one soul
CHAPTER XI
It had been arranged with Emma Thornycroft that Mrs Harper should take the benefit of that ladys superior domestic and worldly experience—for Agatha herself was a perfect child in such matters—and that they two should go over the intended house together Accordingly in the course of the following day Mrs Thornycroft appeared to carry away the young wife and give her the first lesson in household responsibilities
From this important business Mr Harper was laughingly excluded as being only a gentleman and required merely to pronounce a final decision upon the niceties of feminine choice
In fact said Emma gaily assuming the autocracy of her sex husbands ought to have nothing at all to do with housechoosing or housekeeping except to pay the rent and the bills
Agatha could not help laughing at this until she saw that Mr Harper was silent
A few minutes before they started he took his wife aside and showed her a letter It was the formal renunciation of the appointment he held at Montreal
How kind she cried in unfeigned delight And how quickly you have fulfilled your promise
When I have once decided I always like to do the thing immediately This letter shall go today
Ah—let me post it whispered Agatha taking a wilful childish pleasure in thus demolishing every chance of the future she had so dreaded
What cannot you yet trust me returned her husband Nay there is no fear What is done is done But you shall have your way
And walking with them a little distance he suffered Agatha with her own hands to post the decisive letter
After he left them she told Mrs Thornycroft the welcome news enlarging upon Mr Harpers goodness in resigning so much for her sake
Resigning said Emma laughing Well I dont see much noble resignation in a young mans giving up a hardworking situation in the colonies to live at ease on his wifes property in England My dear husbands always like to make the most of their little sacrifices You mustnt believe half they say
My husband never said one word of his cried Agatha rather indignantly and repented herself of her frankness to one whose ideas now more than ever jarred with her own Three weeks constant association with a man like Nathanael had lifted her mind above the ordinary standard of womanhood to which Emma belonged She began to half believe the truth of what she had once with great astonishment heard Anne Valery declare—ay even Anne Valery—that if the noblest moral type of man and of woman were each placed side by side the man would be the greater of the two
But this thought she kept fondly to herself and suffered Emma to talk on without much attending to her conversation It was chiefly about some City business with which her James had been greatly annoyed of late—having to act for a friend who had been ruined by taking shares in a bubble company formed to work a Cornish mine Agatha had often been doomed to listen to such historiettes Mrs Thornycroft had a great fancy for putting her harmless fingers into her husbands business matters for which the chief apology in her friends eyes was the good little wifes great interest in all that concerned my James So Agatha had got into a habit of listening with one ear saying Yes No and Certainly while she thought of other things the while This habit she today revived and pondered vaguely over many pleasant fancies while hearing mistily of certain atrocities perpetrated by City scoundrels—Emma was always warm in her epithets
The Company my dear is a complete takein—all sham names secretaries treasurers and even directors The whole affair was got up among two or three people in a lawyers office and who do you think that lawyer is Agatha
I dont know said Mrs Harper feeling as perfectly indifferent as if he were the man in the moon
I am not sure that I ought to tell you for James only found it out or rather guessed it this morning at breakfasttime And if the thing can only be proved it will go very suspiciously against the people who have been mixed up in the affair and especially against this Mr Grimes—There I declare Ive let the cat out of the bag at last for all James cautioned me not
Well be content said Agatha awaking from a reverie as to how many days her husband intended to stay at Kingcombe Holm whither they were this week going on a formal invitation and whether the new house would be quite ready on their return—Be content Emma I really did not catch the name
Im glad of it said the gossiping little woman—though she looked extremely sorry Of course if Major Harper had known—why you would have heard
Heard what asked Agatha her curiosity at last attracted by her brotherinlaws name But now Emma seemed wilfully bent upon maintaining a mysterious silence
Thats exactly what I cant tell you my dear except thus much—that my husband is afraid Major Harper has been losing a good deal of money since more than twothirds of the shares in Wheal Caroline were in his name and now the vein has failed—that is if ever there was a vein or a mine at all—and the other shareholders declare there has been a great deal of cheating somewhere—and—you understand
Agatha did not understand one jot All she drew from this confused volubility was the fact that Major Harper had somehow lost money for which she was very sorry But to her utter ignorance of financial or business matters the term losing money bore very little meaning However she recurred with satisfaction to her own reputed wealth and thought if Major Harper were in any need he would of course tell his brother and she and Nathanael could at once supply what he wanted She determined to speak to her husband the first opportunity and so dismissed the subject as being not half so interesting as that of the new house
At the gate of this the two ladies now stood and Emma with a matronly importance introduced the gratified young wife to all its perfections
If there be one instinct that lurks in a womans breast ready to spring up when touched and bloom into all sorts of beautiful and happy feelings it is the sense of home—of pleasant domestic sway and domestic comfort—the looking forward to a house of ones own Many ordinary girls marry for nothing but this and in the nobler half of their sex even amidst the strongest and most romantic personal attachment there is a something—a vague dear hope that flying beyond the lover and the bridegroom nestles itself in the husband and the future home—The home as well as the husband since it is given by him is loved for his sake and made beautiful for his comfort while he is the ruler the guide and the centre of all
Mrs Harper as she went through the rooms of this the first house she had ever looked on with an eye of interest admiring some things objecting to others and beginning to arrange and decide in her own mind—felt the awakening of that feeling which philosophers call the domestic instinct—the instinct which makes of women good wives fond mothers and wise mistresses of pleasant households She wondered that as Agatha Bowen she had thought so little of these things
Yes said she brightening up as she listened to Emmas longwinded discourse upon furniture and arrangements and learning for the first time to appreciate the capital good sense of that admirable domestic oracle and young housekeepers guide—Yes I think this will just do And as you say we easily manage to buy it furniture and all so as to make what improvements we choose Oh how delicious it will be to have a house of ones own
And the tears almost came into her eyes at thought of that long vista of future joy—the years which might pass in this same dwelling
My husband she said to the person who showed them over the place—and her cheeks glowed and her heart dilated with a tender pride as she used the word—my husband will come tomorrow and make his decision I think there is very little doubt but that we shall take the house
So anxious was she to conclude the matter and let Mr Harper share in all her pleasant feelings that she excused herself from staying at Emmas until he came to fetch her and determined to walk back to meet him
What with nobody to take care of you said Emma
The idea of anybodys taking care of me We never thought of such a thing three months ago I used to come and go everywhere at my own sweet will you know Nevertheless it was a sweet thought that there was somebody to take care of her Her high spirit was beginning to learn that there are dearer pleasures in life than even the pleasure of independence
Pondering on these things—and also on the visit to Kingcombe Holm which her husband had that morning decided—she walked through the wellknown squares her eyes and her veil lowered her light springy step restrained into matronly dignity Agatha had a wondrous amount of dignity for such a little woman Her gait too had in it something very peculiar—a mixture of elasticity decision and pride Her small figure seemed to rise up airily between each footpress as if unaccustomed to creep There was a trace of wildness in her motions hers was anything but a dainty tread or a lazy drawingroom glide it was a bold free Indianlike walk—a footstep of the wilderness
No one who had once known her could ever mistake Agatha be she seen ever so far off and as she went on her way a gentleman crossing hastily from the opposite side of the square saw her started and seemed inclined to shrink from recognition But she attracted by his manner lifted up her eyes and soon put an end to his uncertainty Though a good deal surprised by the suddenness of the rencontre there was no reason on earth why Mrs Harper should not immediately go up and speak to her husbands brother
She did so holding out her hand frankly
Major Harpers response was hesitating to a painful degree He looked in the common but expressive phrase as if he had seen a ghost
Who would have thought of meeting you here Miss Bowen—Mrs Harper I mean he added seeing her smile at the already strange sound of her maiden name What could have possessed Major Harper to be guilty of such uncourteous forgetfulness
You evidently did not think I was my real self or you would not have been going to pass me by I—that is we—at the word Nathanaels wife cast off her shyness and grew bravely dignified—we came back to London two days ago
Indeed
Your brother she had not yet quite the courage to say my husband when speaking of him especially to Frederick Harper—your brother thought you were out of town
I—yes—no No it was a mistake But are you not going in Good morning
In his confusion of mind he was handing her up the steps of Dr Iansons door which they were just passing Agatha drew back at first surprised then alarmed His strange manner his face not merely pale but ghastly the suppressed agitation of his whole aspect seemed forewarnings of some ill It was her first consciousness that she was no longer alone in herself including alike all her pleasure and all her pain
Oh tell me she cried catching his arm is there anything the matter Where is my husband
The quick fear darting arrowlike to her heart betrayed whose image lay there nearest and dearest now Major Harper looked at her looked and—sighed
Dont be afraid he said kindly all is well with your husband for aught I know He is a happy fellow in having some one in the world to be alarmed on his account
Agatha blushed deeply but made no reply She took her brotherinlaws offered arm offered with a mechanical courtesy that survived the great discomposure of mind under which he evidently laboured and turned with him towards home She was at once puzzled and grieved to see the state he was in which deny it and disguise it as he would—and he tried hard to do so—was quite clear to her womanly perception His laugh was hollow his step hurried his eyes wandering from side to side as if he were afraid of being seen How different from his old cheerful lounge full of a goodnatured conceit apparently content with himself and willing that the whole street should gaze their fill at Major Frederick Harper
So old he looked too as if the moment his merry mask of smiles was thrown off the cruel lurking wrinkles appeared Agatha pitied him and felt a return of the old liking warm and kind such as it was before the innuendoes of foolish friends had first lured her to distrust the nature of her own innocent feelings and then changed them into positive contempt and aversion
She said with an air of gentle matronly freedom half sisterly too and wholly different from the shy manner of Agatha Bowen to Major Harper
You must come home with me I fear you are ill or in anxiety Why did you not tell your brother And suddenly she thought of Emmas statement of the morning But Agatha in her unworldliness never supposed such a trivial loss as that of money could make any man so miserable as Major Harper seemed
I ill I anxious I tell my brother he repeated sharply
Nay as you will Only do come to us He will be so glad to see you
Glad to see me He again repeated her words as though he had none of his own or were too bewildered to use them Nevertheless through a certain playful influence which Agatha could exert when she liked making almost everybody yield to her Major Harper suffered himself to be led along his companion talking pleasantly to him the while lest he might think she noticed his discomposure
Arrived at home they found that Nathanael had walked to the Regents Park to fetch his wife according to agreement
Mrs Harper looked sorry She had already learned one little secret of her husbands character—his dislike to any unpunctuality any altered plans or broken promises Still you must come in and wait for him
Wait for whom said Major Harper absently
Your brother
My brother—I wait to see my brother Impossible—I—Ill write Good morning—good morning
He was leaving the hall—more hurried and agitated than ever—when Mrs Harper now really concerned laid her hand upon his arm
I will not let you go Come in and tell me what ails you
The soft whisper the eyes of genuine compassion—womanly compassion only without any love—were more than Major Harper could resist
I will go he muttered Better tell it to you than to my brother And he followed her upstairs
The cool shadow of the room seemed to quiet his excitement he drank a glass of water that stood by and became more like himself
Well my dear young lady he said with some return of the paternal manner of old times when did you come back to London
Two days since as I told you And as you will soon hear your brothers plans are all changed—we are going to live in London
To live in London
He has given up his appointment at Montreal We have taken a house or shall take it today and settle here He intends entering at the bar or something of the sort but you must persuade him not What is the use of his toiling when I—that is we—are so rich
While Agatha thus talked chiefly to amuse her brotherinlaw and make him feel that she was really his sister one and the same in family interests—while she talked she was astonished to see Major Harpers face overspread with blank dismay
And—Nathanael has really given up his appointment
He has and for my sake Was it not good of him
It was madness Nay—it is I that have been the madman—it is I that have done it all Agatha forgive me But no—you never can
As they stood together by the fireplace he snatched her hand gazing down upon her with unutterable remorse
Poor Bowens daughter that he trusted to me Such a mere child too Oh forgive me Agatha
She thought some extraordinary delusion had come upon him—perhaps the forerunner of some dreadful illness She tried to take her hand away though kindly for she firmly believed him to be delirious Nothing could really have happened to herself that Mr Harper did not know With him to take care of her she was quite safe And in that moment—for all passed in a moment—Nathanaels wife first felt how implicitly she was beginning to put her trust in him
While she remained thus—her hand still closed tightly in her brotherinlaws grasp half terrified yet trying not to show her terror—the door opened and her husband entered
At first Mr Harper seemed petrified with amazement then he turned deadly white Crossing the room he laid a heavy hand on his brothers shoulder
Frederick you forget yourself this is my wife—Agatha
The searching agony of that one word as he turned and looked her full in the face was unutterable She scarcely perceived it
Oh I am so glad you are come was all she said He drew her to his side—indeed she had sprung there of her own accord—and wrapped his arms tightly round her as if to show that she was his possession his own property
Now brother whatever you wished to say to my wife say it to us both
Major Harper could not speak
He was waiting to see you he is ill—very ill I think whispered Agatha to her husband Shall I leave you together
Yes he answered releasing her but only to draw her back again with the same wildly questioning look the meaning of which was to her innocence quite inexplicable—My wife
My dear husband
At that whisper which burst from her full heart in the comfort of seeing him and of knowing that he would take on himself the burden of all her anxiety Nathanael let her go She crept away most thankful to get out of the room and leave Major Harper safe in his brothers hands
But when a quarter of an hour—halfanhour—passed by and still the two gentlemen remained shut up together without sending for her to join their conference or as she truly expected to tell her that poor Major Harper must be taken home in the delirium of brain fever—Agatha began rather to wonder at the circumstance
She apprehended no evil for her even course of existence had never been crossed by those sudden tragedies the impression of which no one ever entirely overcomes which teach us to walk trembling along the ways of life lest each moment a gulf should open at our feet Agatha had read of such misfortunes but believed them only in books to her the real world and her own fate therein appeared the most monotonous thing imaginable It never entered her mind to create an adventure or a mystery
She waited another fifteen minutes—until the clock struck five and the servant came up to her to announce dinner and to know whether the same information should be conveyed to the gentlemen in the drawingroom Servants seem instinctively to guess when there is something extraordinary going on in a house and the maid—as she found her mistress sitting in her bedchamber alone and thoughtful—wore a look of curiosity which made Mrs Harper colour
Go down and tell your master—no stay I will go myself
She waited until the maid had disappeared and then went downstairs but stopped at the drawingroom door on hearing within loud voices at least one voice—Major Harpers He seemed pleading or protesting vehemently Agatha might almost have distinguished the words but—and the fact is much to her credit since her brotherinlaws apparently sane tones having suppressed her fears she was now smitten with very natural curiosity—but she stopped her ears and ran upstairs again There she remained waiting for a lull in the dispute—in which however she never caught one tone of Nathanaels
At last feeling rather humiliated at being thus obliged to flutter up and down the stairs of her own abode and crave admittance into her own drawingroom Mrs Harper ventured to knock softly and enter
Frederick Harper was sitting on the sofa his head crushed down upon his hands Nathanael stood at a little distance by the fireplace The attitude of the elder brother indicated deep humiliation that of the younger was freezing in its sternness Agatha had never seen such an expression on Nathanael face before
What did you want he said abruptly thinking it was the servant who entered
She could not imagine what made him start so nor what made the two brothers look at her so guiltily The fact left a very uncomfortable impression on her mind
I only came—she began
No matter dear Her husband walked up to her speaking in a low voice studiously made kind she thought Go away now—we are engaged you see
But dinner she added Will not your brother stay and dine with us
Major Harper turned with an imploring look to his brothers wife
No said Mr Harper emphatically held the door open for Agatha to retire and closed it after her Never in all her life had she been treated so unceremoniously
The newlymarried wife returned to her room her cheeks burning with no trifling displeasure She began to feel the tightening pressure of that chain with which her life was now eternally bound
But after five minutes of silent reflection she was too sensible to nourish serious indignation at being sent out of the room like a mere child There must have been some good reason which Mr Harper would surely explain when his brother left The whole conversation was probably some personal affair of the Majors with which she had nothing to do Yet why did her brotherinlaw regard her so imploringly It was after all rather extraordinary So genuine female curiosity getting the better of her never did Blue Beards Fatima watch with greater anxiety for anybody coming than did Agatha Harper watch at her window for somebody going—viz Major Harper She was too proud to listen or to keep any other watch and sat with her chamberdoor resolutely closed
At length her vigil came to an end She saw her late guardian passing down the street—not hastily or in humiliation but with his usual measured step and satisfied air Nay he even crossed over the way to speak to an acquaintance and stood smiling talking and swinging his cane There could not be anything very wrong then
Agatha thought having been once sent out of the room she would not reenter it until her husband fetched her—a harmless ebullition of annoyance So she stood idly before the mirror ostensibly arranging her curls though in reality seeing nothing but listening with all her ears for the one footstep—which did not come Not alas for many many minutes
She was still standing motionless though her brows were knitted in deep thought and her mouth had assumed the rather cross expression which such rich rare lips always can and which only makes their smiling the more lovely—when she saw in the mirror another reflection beside her own
Her husband had come softly behind her and put his arms round her waist
Did you think I was a long time away from you I could not help it dear Let us go downstairs now
Agatha was surprised that in spite of all the tenderness of his manner he did not attempt the slightest explanation And still more surprised was she to find her own questions wonderings reproaches dying away unuttered in the atmosphere of silentness which always seemed to surround Nathanael Harper This silentness had from the very beginning of their acquaintance induced in her that faint awe which is the most ominous yet most delicious feeling that a woman can have towards a man It seems an instinctive acknowledgment of the muchcondemned muchperverted yet divine and unalterable law given with the first human marriage—He shall rule over thee
After all that Agatha had intended to say she said—nothing She only turned her face to her husband and received his kiss Very soft it was—even cold—as though he dared not trust himself to the least expression of feeling He merely whispered Now come down with me and she went
But on the staircase she could not forbear saying I thought you two would never have done talking Is it anything very serious I trust not since your brother walked down the street so cheerfully
Did he—and—were you watching him
Yes indeed returned Agatha for she had no notion of doing anything that she would be afterwards ashamed to confess But what put him into such a state of mind and made him behave to me so strangely
How dared he behave asked the husband with quickness then stopped Forgive me You know I have never inquired—I never shall inquire about anything—Again he paused seeing how his mood alarmed her Do not be afraid of me Poor child—poor little Agatha
Waiting for no reply he led her in to dinner
While the servants waited Mr Harper scarcely spoke except when necessary Only in his lightest word addressed to Agatha was a certain tremulousness—in his most careless look a constant tender observance which soothed her mind and quite removed from thence the impression of his hasty and incomprehensible words She laid all to the charge of Major Harper and his unpleasant business
At dessert Nathanael sat varying his long silences with a few commonplace remarks which showed how oblivious he was of all around him and how sedulously he tried to disguise the fact and rise to the surface of conversation Agathas curiosity returned not unmingled with a feeling tenderer more womanlike more wifelike which showed itself in stray peeps at him from under the lashes of net brown eyes At length she took courage to say
Now—since we seem to have nothing better to talk about will you tell me what you and your brother were plotting together that you kept poor little me out of the room so long
Plotting together Surely Agatha you did not mean to use that word
She had used it according to a habit she had of putting a jesting form of phrase upon matters where she was most in earnest She was amazed to see her husband take it so seriously
Well blot out the offending word and put in any other you choose only tell me
Why do you wish to know little Curiosity said he recovering himself and eagerly catching the tone his wife had adopted
Why Because I am a little Curiosity and like to know everything
That is both presumptuous and impossible your ladyship If onehalf the world were always bent on knowing all the secrets of the other half what a very uncomfortable world it would be
I do not see that even if the first half included the wives and the second the husbands which is apparently what you mean to imply
I shall not plead guilty to anything by implication
They went on a few moments longer in this skirmish of assumed gaiety when Agatha pausing leant her elbows on the table and looked seriously at her husband
Do you know we are two very foolish people
Wherefore
We are pretending to make idle jests when all the time we are both of us very much in earnest
That is true And he sighed though within himself as though he did not wish her to hear it Agatha come over to me He held out both his hands she came and placed herself beside him all her jesting subdued She even trembled at the expectation of something painful or sorrowful to be told But her husband said nothing—except to ask if she would like to go anywhere this evening
Agatha felt annoyed Why do you put me off in this manner when I know you have something on your mind
Have I he said half mournfully
Then tell it to me
Nay I always thought it was wisest kindest for a man to bear the burden of his own cares
Nathanael had spoken in his most gentle tone and slowly as if impelled to what he said by hard necessity He was not prepared to see the sudden childish burst of astonishment anger and resistance
From this I understand what you might as well have said plainly that I am not to inquire what passed between you and your brother
He moved his head in assent and then sunk it on his left hand holding out the other to his wife as though talking were impossible to him and all he wished were silence and peace Agatha was too angry for either
But if I do not choose at nineteen to be treated like a mere child—if I ask nay insist—She hesitated lest the last word might have irritated him too far Vague fears concerning the full meaning of the word obey in the marriage service rushed into her mind
Nathanael sat motionless his fingers pressed upon his eyelids This silence was worse than any words
Mr Harper
I hear And the grave sad eyes—and without any displeasure—were turned upon her Agatha felt a sting of conscience
I did not mean to speak rudely to my husband but I had my own reasons for inquiring about Major Harper from something Emma said today
What was that
How eager you look Nay I can keep a secret too But no I will not And the generous impulse burst out even accompanied by a few childish tears and childish blushes She told me he had probably lost money I wished to say that if such a trifle made him unhappy he might take as much as he liked of mine That was all
Her husband regarded her with mingled emotions which at last all melted into one—deep tenderness And you would do this even for him Thank God I never doubted your goodness Agatha And I trusted you always
Wondering yet halfpleased to see him so moved Agatha received his offered hand Then all is settled Now tell me everything that passed between you
I cannot
Gentle as the tone was there was something in it which implied that to strive with Nathanael would be like beating against a marble wall A great terror came over Agatha—she who had lived like a wild bird knowing no stronger will than her own Then all the combativeness of her nature hitherto dormant because she had known none worthy to contend against awoke up and tempted her to struggle fiercely with her chain
She unloosed her hands and sprang from him Mr Harper you are teaching me early how men rule their wives
I only ask my wife to trust me She would if she knew how great was the sacrifice
What sacrifice How many more mysteries am I to be led through blindfold
And her crimson cheek her quick wild step across the room showed a new picture to the husbands eyes—a picture that all young wives should be slow to let any man see for it is often a fatal vision
Nathanael closed his eyes—was it to shut it out—then spoke steadily sorrowfully
We have scarcely been married a month Are we beginning to be angry with one another already
She made him no answer
Will you listen to me—if for only two minutes
She felt his step approaching his hand fastening on hers and replacing her in her chair Resistance was impossible
Agatha had I trusted you less than I do I might easily have put off your questions or told you what was false I shall do neither I shall tell you truth
That is all I wish
Nathanael said with a visible effort Today I learnt from my brother several rather painful circumstances—some which I was ignorant of—one—his voice grew cold and hard—one which I already knew and knew to be irremediable
His wife looked much alarmed seeing it he forced a smile
But what is irremediable can and must be borne I can bear things better perhaps than most people The other cares may be removed by time and—silence To that end I have promised Frederick to keep his confidence secret from every one even from my own wife for a year to come A sacrifice harder than you think but it must be made and I have made it
Agatha turned away saying bitterly Your wife ought to thank you She was not aware until now how wondrously well you loved your brother
There was a heavy silence and then Mr Harper said in a hoarse voice Did you ever hear the story of a man who plunged into a river to save the life of an enemy and when asked why he did it answered It was because he was an enemy
I do not understand you cried Agatha
No—her husband returned hastily—better not A foolish meaningless story What were we talking about
He—when her heart was bursting with vexation and wounded feeling—he pretended to treat all so lightly that he did not even remember what they were saying It was more than Agatha could endure
Had he been irritated like herself—had he shown annoyance pain—had they even come to a positive quarrel—for love will sometimes quarrel and take comfort therein—it would have been less trying to a girl of her temperament But that grave superior calm of unvarying kindness—her poor angry spirit beat against it like waves against a shining rock
We were talking of what had I considered the matter a month ago I might possibly have saved myself the necessity of discussing or practising—a wifes blind obedience to her husband
Agatha
When I married she recklessly pursued I did not think what I was doing It is hard enough blindly to obey even those whom one has known long—trusted long—loved long—but you—
I understand Hush there needs not another word
Agatha began to hesitate She had only wished to make him feel—to shake him from that rigid quietude which to her was so trying She had not intended to wound him so
Are you angry with me she asked at length
No not angry No reproaches of yours can be more bitter than my own
She was just about to ask him what he meant—nay she even considered whether her womans pride might not stoop to draw aside the tightpressed hands entreating him to look up and forgive her and love her when in burst Mrs Thornycroft
Oh—so glad to catch you—have not a minute to spare for James is waiting Where is your husband
Mr Harper had risen and stood in the shadow where his face was not easily visible Agatha wondered to see him so erect and calm while her own cheeks were burning and every word she tried to utter she had to gulp down a burst of tears
Mr Harper it was you I wanted—to ask your decision about the house A mere formality But I thought I would just call as we went to grandmammas and then I can settle everything for you tomorrow morning
You are very kind but—
Oh perhaps you would rather see the house yourself Quite right Of course you will take it
I fear not
Agatha as well as Mrs Thornycroft was so utterly astonished that neither of them could make any observation To give up the house and all her dear homevisions She was aghast at the idea
Bless me what does your husband mean Mr Harper what possible objection———
None except we have changed our plans It is quite uncertain how long we may stay at Kingcombe Holm or where we may go from thence
Not to America surely You would not break your word to poor dear Agatha
I never break my word
Well Mr Harper I declare I cant understand you cried Emma sharply I only hope that Agatha does Is all this with your knowledge and consent my poor child
She said this eyeing the husband with doubt and the wife with curiosity as if disposed to put herself in the breach between the two if breach there were
Agatha heard Nathanaels quick breathing—caught her friends look of patronising compassion Something of the dignity of marriage the shame lest any third party should share or even witness aught that passes between those two who have now become one—awoke in the young girls spirit The feeling was partly pride yet mingled with something far holier
She put Emma gently aside
Whatever my husbands decision may be I am quite satisfied therewith
Mrs Thornycroft was mute with amazement However she was too goodnatured to be really angry Certainly you are the most extraordinary incomprehensible young couple But I cant stay to discuss the matter Agatha I shall see you tomorrow
Yes I will bring her to you tomorrow said Mr Harper cheerfully as their visitor departed
The husband and wife regarded one another in silence At last he said taking her hand
I owe you thanks Agatha for—
For doing my duty I hope I shall never forget that
At the word duty so coldly uttered Mr Harper had let her hand fall He stood motionless leaning against the marble chimneypiece his face as white as the marble itself and in Agathas fancy as hard
Have you then quite decided against our taking the house she asked at length
I find it will be impossible
Why so But I forget it is useless to ask you questions
He made no reply
Pardon my inquiry but do you still keep to your plan of leaving next week for Dorsetshire
If you are willing
I willing And she thought how two hours before she had rejoiced in the prospect of seeing her husbands ancestral home—her fatherinlaw—her new sisters Her heart failed her—the poor girlish heart that as yet knew not either the world or itself She burst into tears
Instantly Mr Harper caught her in his arms
Oh Agatha forgive me—Have patience with me and we may still be happy at least you may Only trust your husband and love him a little—a very little—as much as you can
How can I trust you whom I do not thoroughly understand how can I—love—
Her hesitation—her pride warring with the expression of that feeling which her very anger taught her was there—seemed to pierce her husband to the soul
I see he said mournfully We are both punished Agatha I for the selfishness of my love towards you and you—Alas how can I make you happier poor child Her tears fell still but less with anger than emotion I know now we ought never to have been married Yet since we are married—
Ay since we are married let us try to be good to one another and bear with one another I will
She kissed his hand which held up her drooping head and Nathanael pressed his lips on her forehead So outward peace was made between them but in sadness and in fear like a compact sealed tremblingly over a newlyclosed grave
CHAPTER XII
And this is Dorsetshire What a sharp bleak wind said Agatha shivering
Her husband who was driving her in a phaeton which had met them at the railway station turned to wrap a cloak round her
Except in the height of summer it is always cold across these moors But we shall soon be safe at Kingcombe Holm Are you very tired
She answered No which was hardly the truth Yet her heart was more weary than her limbs
During the few days that elapsed between Major Harpers visit and their quitting London she had scarcely seen her husband He had been out continually coming home to dinner tired and exhausted though afterwards he always tried to talk and be cheerful To her surprise Major Harper never again called nor except in the brief answer to her question that Frederick was gone from home did Nathanael ever mention his brothers name
This is Kingcombe said Mr Harper as they drove through a little town which Agatha half blinded by the wind scarcely opened her eyes to look at My sister Mrs Dugdale lives here I thought they might have met us at the station but the Dugdales are always late Ah there he is
Who
My brotherinlaw Marmaduke Dugdale—or Duke Dugdale as everybody about here calls him Holloa Duke
And Agatha through her blue veil was ware as old chronicles say of a countrylooking gentleman coming down the street in a mild lazy dreamy fashion his hat pushed up at a considerable elevation from his forehead leaving a mass of light hair straggling out at the back his eyes bent thoughtfully on the pavement and his hands crossed behind him
Holloa Duke cried Nathanael for the second time before he caught the attention of this very abstracted personage
Eh—is it you You dont say so E—h
Agatha was amused by the long sweetsounding drawl of the last monosyllable which seemed formed out of all the five vowels rolled into one It was said in such a pleasant voice with such a simple childlike air of delighted astonishment that Agatha conquering her shyness at this first meeting with one of her husbands family peeped behind Nathanaels shoulder at Mr Dugdale
She saw—what to her keen sense of beauty was a considerable shock—the very plainest man she thought she had ever beheld
Mr Dugdale—my wife
Indeed Very glad to see her And Agatha who was intending merely to bow felt her hand buried in another thrice its size which gave it a shy gentle but thoroughly cordial shake And really now I think of it I was coming to meet you The Missus told me to do it
How is the Missus asked Mr Harper
Quite well—theyre all waiting for you So make haste—the Squire is very particular as to time you know
Nodding to them both with a smile which diffused such an extraordinary light over the uncomely face that Agatha was quite startled and began to reconsider her first impression regarding it—Duke Dugdale turned to walk on but just as the horse was starting came back again
Nathanael you are here just in time—general election coming Youre a Freetrader of course
Why I never thought much about the matter
Eh—What a pity But well convert you and you shall convert your father Ah yes—I think well get the Squire on our side at last Goodbye
Who is the Missus and who is the Squire asked Agatha as they drove off
The Missus is his wife—my sister Harriet and the Squire is my father said Nathanael smiling His face had worn a pleasant look ever since he caught sight of Duke Dugdales When I first came home I was as much amused as yourself at these queer Dorsetshire phrases but I like them now they are so simple and patriarchal
Agatha agreed yet she could hardly help laughing But though this brotherinlaw of Mr Harpers—and she suddenly remembered that he was her own brotherinlaw too—used provincial words and spoke with a slight accent which she concluded was Dorset—though his dress and appearance had an antiStultzified innocent country look still there was something about Marmaduke Dugdale which bespoke him unmistakably the gentleman
I am glad we met him said Mr Harper looking back down the street There he is talking to a knot of people at the markethall—farmers no doubt whom he will try to make Freetraders of and who would listen to him affectionately even if he tried to make them Mahometans The good soul There isnt a better man in all Dorsetshire
It was evident that Nathanael greatly liked Duke Dugdale
Agatha would have asked a score of questions about his age which defied all guessing and might have been anything from thirty to fiftyfive—also about his Missus for he looked like a man who never could have made love or thought of such a thing in all his life But her curiosity was restrained partly by that of the old servant behind who kept up a close though reverential observance of all the sayings and doings of Maaester Nathanaels wife She did not like even accidentally to betray how very little of Kingcombe her reserved husband had told her and how she knew scarcely more of his family than their names
Having parted from his brotherinlaw and gradually lost the benign influence which Duke Dugdale seemed to impart Mr Harpers face reassumed that gravity almost sadness which except when talking with herself his wife now continually saw it wear
They drove on pushing against a fierce wind that appeared like an invisible iron barrier to intercept their way Every now and then Agatha could not help shivering and creeping closer to her husband whenever she did so he always turned round and wrapped her up with most sedulous care
It is a dreary day for you to see our county for the first time Agatha If the sun were shining these wide bleak sweeps of country would look all purple with heather and that duncoloured gloomy range of hills—we must call them hills out of compliment though they are so small—would stand out in a clear line against the sky Beyond them lies the British Channel with its grand seacoast
The sea—ah always the sea
Nay dear dont be afraid how dontee—as we Dorset people would say Kingcombe Holm lies in a valley You would never know you were so near the ocean It is the same at Anne Valerys house
Where is that said Agatha brightening up at the mention of the name
Why this animal seems inclined to show me—even if I did not know it of long habit answered Mr Harper bestowing a little less of his attention on his wife and more on the obstreporous pony who in regard to a certain turn of the road had grown peculiarly wrongheaded
Dontee give in sir TSquire bought he o Miss Valery and she do gi un their own way terrible bad hinted the groom
Unfortunately his own way happens to be a wrong one said Nathannael quietly as he drew the reins tighter and set himself to do that which it takes a very firm man to do to conquer an obstinate and unruly horse Agatha remembered what she had heard or read somewhere about such a case being no bad criterion of a mans character lose your temper and youll lose your beast ay and perhaps your own life into the bargain She was considerably frightened but she sat quite still looking from the struggling animal to her husband in whose fair face the colour had risen while the boyish lips were set together with a will fierce rigid and manlike She could hardly take her eyes from him
Agatha are you afraid Will you descend asked he suddenly
No—I will stay with you
The struggle between man and brute lasted a minute or two longer at the end of which all danger being over they were speeding on rapidly to Kingcombe Holm Agatha sat very thoughtful
I fear she said—when he tried to draw her out of her contemplative mood showing her the wild furzy slopes and the firtrees almost the only trees that grow in this region—standing in black clumps on the hilltops like sentinelghosts of the old Romans who used to encamp there—I fear you have made me as much in awe of you as you have the pony
He smiled and was quoting something about love casting out fear when he suddenly corrected himself and grew silent In that silence they swept on to the gates of Kingcombe Holm
It was a place—more like an ancient manorial farm than a gentlemans residence—nestled snugly in one of those fairy valleys which are found here and there among the bleak wastes of Dorsetshire coast scenery—the richer for the barrenness of all around Before and behind the house rose sudden acclivities thick with autumntinted trees On another side was a smooth curving wavy hill bare in outline with white dots of grazing sheep floating about upon its green The Holm with its garden and park lay on a narrow plain of verdurous beauty at the bottom of the valley Nothing was visible beyond it save a long bare terraced range of hill and the sky above all There was no other habitation in sight except a tiny church planted on one acclivity and two or three labourers cottages in the doors of which a few rolypoly openeyed children stood poking their fingers in their mouths and staring intensely at Agatha
Oh what a delicious nest she cried—overcome with excitement at her first view of Kingcombe Holm where however there was not a creature visible but the great dog that barked a furious welcome from the courtyard and the peacock that strutted to and fro before the blank windows sweeping his draggled tail Are they at home I wonder Will they all be waiting for us
In the drawingroom most likely It is my fathers way He receives there all strangers—newcomers I mean We shall see nobody till then
Dont be too sure of that brother Nathanael said a quick lively voice So ho Dunce hold still doee You used to be as precise as the Squire himself bless his heart Now then N L Jump down
The speaker of all this had come flying out of the halldoor—a vision of flounces gaiety and heartiness had given the pony a few pats or rather slaps en passant and now stood balancing herself on one of the spokes of the wheel and leaning over into the carriage
Arrival at Kingcombe Holm P148
Is that you Harrie Agatha this is my sister Mrs Dugdale
And Agatha found herself face to face literally speaking too for Harrie kissed her with a merrylooking pretty woman of a style a little too prononcée perhaps for her features were on a similar mould to Major Harpers Still there could be no doubt as to the prettiness and the airy youthful aspect—younger perhaps than her years Agatha was perfectly astounded to find in this gay Harrie the wife of the grave and middleaged Duke Dugdale
You see my dear—ahem what shall I call you—that I cant be formal and polite and its no use trying So I just left my father sitting stately in the drawingroom with Mary on one side as mistress of the household Eulalie on the other looking as bewitching and effective as she can and both dying with curiosity to run out and see you But Im not a Miss Harper now so while they longed to do it I—did it Here I am Welcome home Mrs Locke Harper
Thank you stammered the young bride hardly knowing whether to laugh or to cry Her husband was scarcely less agitated than herself but showed it only in the nervous trembling of his upper lip and in the extreme brevity of his words He lifted his wife down from the carriage and Mrs Dugdale throwing back the blue veil peered curiously into the face of her new sister
E—h she said in that long musical ejaculation just like her husband—the only thing in which she was like him Never was a pair who so fully exemplified the theory of matrimonial opposites E—h Nathanael And her quick glance at her brother indicated undisguised admiration of the Pawneeface
He himself looked restless uncomfortable as if his sister slightly fidgeted him she had indeed with all her heartiness a certain quicksilverishness of manner jumping here there and everywhere like mercury on a plate in a fashion that was very perplexing at first to quiet people
Come along my dear continued Harrie tucking the young wife under her arm—come and beautify a little—the Squire likes it And run away to your father N L my boy added she to her younger brother—younger—as a closer inspection of her fresh country face showed—possibly by some five or six years
Mr Harper assented with as good a grace as he could and resigned his wife to his sister
For the next ten minutes Agatha had a confused notion of being taken through many rooms and passages hovered about by Mrs Dugdale her flounces and her lively talk—of trying to answer a dozen questions per minute and being so bewildered that she succeeded in answering none save that she had met Mr Dugdale—that she did not think him a beauty and she hastily and in terror added this fact that there was not the least necessity for his being so
Not the least my dear I always thought the same Youll love him heartily in a week—I did Bless him for a dear good ugly beautiful old soul
Here Agatha who stood listening and nervously arranging the long curls that would fall uncurled and untidy felt a renewal of her old girlish enthusiasm for all true things her eyes brightened and her heart warmed towards Harrie She would have liked to stay talking longer but for a vision of Mr Harper waiting uncomfortably downstairs
So you have finished adorning and want to go You cant bear to be ten minutes away from your husband thats clear Well my dear youll get wiser when you have been married as long as I have But I dont know added Mrs Dugdale laughing Im always glad enough to get rid of Duke for an hour or two yet somehow when he is away Im always wanting him Bytheby did he happen to say what time he was coming over here—only to see you you know He has quite enough of the Missus
Agatha laughingly asked how long the Missus had borne that title
Couldnt possibly count Look at Gus and Fred in jacket and trousers and little Brian learning to ride Frightful antiquity And yet when I married I was a girl like you only ten times wilder—the greatest harumscarum in the county I often wonder poor Duke was not afraid to marry me Heigho Well here we are downstairs and here—take your wife most solemn brother Nathanael If you were but a little more like Frederick By the way have you seen Fred lately
He has left town said Mr Harper shortly as he drew his young wifes arm through his own and led her to his fathers presence
Agatha was conscious of a tall thin whitehaired gentleman—not unlike Major Harper frozen into stately age—who rose and came to meet her
I am most happy to welcome my sons wife to Kingcombe Holm
Agatha felt the withered fingers touching her own—the kiss of welcome formally sealed on her forehead She trembled exceedingly for a moment but recovered herself and met old Mr Harpers keen observant gaze with one as clear and as composed as his own One glance told her that he was not the sort of man into whose fatherly arms she could throw herself and indulge the emotion brimming over in her heart But his examination of her was evidently favourable
You are most welcome believe me And my daughters—here he turned to two ladies of whom Agatha at first distinguished nothing save that one was very pretty the other much older and plain—my daughters receive your new sister Here the ladies aforesaid approached and shook hands the plain one very warmly—You also can tell her how truly glad we are to receive—Mrs Harper
He hesitated a little before the latter word and pronounced it with some tremulousness as though the old man were thinking how many years had passed since the name Mrs Harper had been unspoken at Kingcombe Holm
His daughters looked at one another—even Harriet observing a grave respect No one spoke or took outward notice of the circumstance but from that time the subject of much secret conjecture was set at rest and Agatha was called by every one Mrs Harper
During the somewhat awkward quarter of an hour that followed in which the chief conversation was sustained by the Squire and occasionally by Nathanael—Mrs Dugdale having vanished—the young girl observed her two sistersinlaw Neither struck her fancy particularly perhaps because there was nothing particular to strike it The Misses Harper were like most female branches of county families vegetating on their estates from generation to generation in uninterrupted gentility and uniformity Of the two Agatha liked Mary best for there was great goodnature shining through her fearless plainness—a sort of placid acknowledgment of the fact that she was born for usefulness not ornament Eulalie on the contrary carried in her every gesture a disagreeable selfconsciousness which testified to her long assumption of one character—the beauty of the family Despite Agathas admiration of handsome women in general she and the youngest Miss Harper eyed one another uncomfortably as if sure from the first that they shall never like one another
All this while Nathanael spoke but little to his wife apparently leaving her to nestle down at her own will among his family But he kept continually near her within reach of a word or glance had she given him either and she more than once felt his look of grave tenderness reading her very soul She could not think why in spite of all his efforts to the contrary he should be continually so serious while she was quite ready to be happy and at ease
There was one thing however which gave her keen satisfaction—the great honour in which her husband was evidently held by his family
Very soon a heterogeneous postprandial repast was announced for the benefit of the travellers to which Mr Harper graciously bade them retire—even leading his daughterinlaw to the diningroom door
Hell not come further in whispered Mrs Dugdale who made herself most active about Agatha You arrived at seven and my father would as soon think of changing his six oclock dinner hour as he would of changing his politics for all Duke says to the contrary
Agatha was not sorry since the idea of dining under the elaborate kindness and dignified courtliness of old Mr Harper was rather alarming Besides she was so hungry
The moment her fatherinlaw had closed the door the sisters came gathering like bees round herself and her husband Mary busy over every possible physical want Harrie sitting at or rather on the table She had a wild and not ungraceful way of throwing herself about—rattling on like a very Major Harper in petticoats and flinging away bon mots and witty sayings enough to make the fortune of many a wonderfully clever woman—the very last character which this lightspirited countrylady would probably have imagined her own For Eulalie she had relaxed into a few words and fewer smiles the quality of neither being of sufficient value to make one regret the quantity Nobody minded her much but Mary who was motherly kind and reverential always to the inane beauty
Such were Agathas first impressions of her new sisters With a shyness not unnatural she had taken little notice of her husband He had chatted among his sisters with whom he seemed very popular but always in the intervals of talk the pale grave tired look came over him
In quitting the diningroom—where Agatha irresistibly led on by Mrs Dugdales pleasantness had begun to feel quite at home and had laughed till she was fairly tired out—he said in a half whisper
Now dear I think we ought to go and see Elizabeth
In the confusion of her arrival Agatha had forgotten that there was another sister—in truth the Miss Harper of the family—Mary its head and housekeeper being properly only Miss Mary She noticed that as Nathanael spoke the other three looked at him and herself doubtfully as if to inquire how much she knew—and anxiously as though there were something painful and uncomfortable in a strangers first seeing Elizabeth
Mrs Harper felt her cheeks tingle nervously but still she put her arm in her husbands and said I should much like to go
Mary sent for lights and prepared to accompany them herself the other two moving away into the drawingroom
Through the same sort of oldfashioned passages but as it seemed to quite a different part of the house Agatha went with her husband and his sister The strangeness and gloom of the place the doubt as to what sort of person she was going to see—for all she had heard was that from some great physical suffering Elizabeth never quitted her room—made the young girl feel timid even afraid Her hand trembled so that her husband perceived it
Nay you need not mind he whispered You will see nothing to pain you We all dearly love her and I do believe she is very happy—poor Elizabeth
As he spoke Mary opened a door and they passed from the dark staircase into a large welllighted pleasant room—made scrupulously pleasant Agatha thought It was filled with all sorts of pretty things engravings statuettes vases flowers books a piano even the paper on the walls and the hangings at the window were of most delicate and careful choice No rich drawingroom could show more taste in its arrangements or have a more soothing effect on a mind to which the sense of æsthetic fitness is its native element
At first Agatha thought the room was empty until lying on a sofa—though so muffled in draperies as nearly to disguise all form—she saw what seemed at first the figure of a child But coming nearer the face was no childs face It was that of a woman already arrived at middle age Many wrinkles seamed it and the hair surrounding it in soft close bands was quite grey The only thing notable about the countenance was a remarkable serenity which in youth might have conveyed that painful impression of premature age often seen in similar cases but which now in age made it look young It was as if time and worldly sorrow had alike forgotten this sad victim of Natures unkindness—had passed by and left her to keep something of the childs paradise about her still
This face and the small thin infantilelooking hands crossed on the silk coverlet were all that was visible Agatha wondered she had so shrunk from the simple mystery now revealed
Nathanael led her to the sofa and placed her where Elizabeth could see her easily without turning round
Here is my wife Is she like what you expected sister
The head was raised but with difficulty and Agatha met the cheerful smiling loving eyes of her whom people called poor Elizabeth Such thorough content such admiring pleasure as that look testified It took away all the painful constraint which most people experience on first coming into the presence of those whom Heaven has afflicted thus and made Agatha feel that in putting such an angelic spirit into that poor distorted body Heaven had not dealt hardly even with Elizabeth Harper
She is just what I thought said a voice thin but not unmusical You described her well Come here and kiss me my dear new sister
Agatha knelt down and obeyed with her whole heart in the embrace Of all greetings in the family none had been like this And not the least of its sweetness was that her husband seemed so pleased therewith looking more like himself than he had done since they entered his fathers doors
They all sat down and talked for a long time Elizabeth more cheerfully than any She appeared completely versed in the affairs of the whole family as though her mind were a hidden gallery in which were clearly daguerreotyped and faithfully retained all impressions of the external world She seemed to know everybody and everybodys circumstances—to have ranged them and theirs distinctly and in order in the wide empty halls of her memory which could be filled in no other way For as Agatha gradually learned this spinal disease withering up the form from infancy had been accompanied with such long intervals of acute physical pain as to prevent all study beyond the commonest acquirements of her sex It was not with her as with some that the intellect alone had proved sufficient to make out of a helpless body a noble and complete human existence Elizabeths mind was scarcely above the average order or if it had been suffering had stifled its powers Her only possession was the loving heart
She asked an infinitude of questions her bright quick eyes seeming to extort and gain more than the mere verbal answers She talked a good deal throwing more light than Agatha had ever before received on the manners characters and history of the Harper family the Dugdales and Anne Valery But there was in her speech a certain reticence as though all the common gossip of life was in her clear spirit received sifted purified and then distributed abroad in chosen portions as goodly and pleasant food She seemed to receive the secrets of every ones life and to betray none
Agatha now learnt why there had been such a mystery of regret reverence and love hanging over the very mention of the eldest Miss Harper
When the tumult of this strange day had resolved itself into silence Agatha believing her husband fast asleep lay pondering over it wondering why he had not asked her what she thought of his family—wondering above all what was the strange weight upon him which he tried so hard to conceal and to appear just the same to every one especially to her Her coming life rose up like a great maze about which all the characters now apparently mingled therein wandered mistily in and out Among them those which had gained most vivid individuality in a fancy not prone to catch quick interests affecting her alternately with a sense of pensive ideal calm and cheerful healthy human liking were Elizabeth Harper the Missus and Duke Dugdale
Likewise as an especial pleasure she had discovered the one to whom she clung as to a wellknown friend among all these strangers lived within eight miles of Kingcombe Holm
And—she kept recurring to a fact spread abroad in the house just before bedtime and apparently diffusing universal satisfaction—and Anne Valery is sure to be here tomorrow
CHAPTER XIII
On the morning—her first morning at Kingcombe Holm—Mrs Harper woke refreshed to a bright day All the terraced outline of the hills was pencilled distinctly against the bluest of blue skies which hung like a tent over the shutup valley She stood at the window looking at it while Mary Harper made the breakfast and Eulalie curiously examined Agathas dress supposed to be the latest bridal fashion from London Nathanael sat writing letters until breakfast was ready and then took his fathers place at the foot of the table
Elizabeth bade me ask you said Mary addressing him if you had any letters this morning from Frederick You know she likes to look at all family letters—they amuse her Shall I take this one
Nathanael put his hand upon a heap among which was plainly distinguishable Major Harpers writing No Mary—not now If necessary I will read part of it to Elizabeth myself
Agatha who had before vainly asked the same question was annoyed by her husbands reserve His silence in all his affairs especially those relating to his brother was impenetrable
But this was rousing in her day by day a strong spirit of opposition Had not the presence of his sisters restrained her for her external wifely pride grew as much as her inward antagonism—she would have again boldly put forward her claim to read the letter As it was she had selfcontrol enough to sit silent but her mouth assumed that peculiar expression which at times revealed a few little mysteries of her nature—showing that beneath the quietude and simplicity of the girl lay the strong desperate will of a resolute woman
After breakfast when Mr Harper with some slight apology had gone to his letters again she rose intending to stroll about and explore the lawn She had never been used to ask any ones permission for her outgoings and incomings so was departing quite naturally when Mary stopped her
I hope you will not mind it but we always stay in the house until my father comes downstairs He likes to see us before he begins the day
Agatha submitted—with a good grace of course though she thought the rule absolute was painfully prevalent in the Harper family But as halfanhour went by and the morning air so fresh and cool tempted her sorely she tried to set aside this formal domestic regulation
Mary looked quite frightened at her overt rebellion—My dear Mrs Harper—indeed we never do it Do we Nathanael said she appealingly
He listened to the discussion a moment—My dear wife since my father would not like it you will not go I know
The tone was gentle but Agatha would as soon have thought of overleaping a stone wall as of opposing a desire thus expressed She sat quietly down again—or would have done so but that she saw Eulalie smile meaningly at her sister Intercepting the young wife the smile changed into affected condolence
Nathanael will have his way you see If you only knew what he was as a little boy and the Beauty shrugged her shoulders pathetically Really as Harrie says most men would never get wives at all did their lady loves know them only half as well as their sisters do
Nay said the goodnatured Mary but Harrie also says that men like wine improve with age especially if they are kept cool and not too much shaken up She has no doubt that even her Duke was a very disagreeable boy So Mrs Harper let me assure you———
There is no need I am quite satisfied said Mrs Harper with no small dignity and at this momentous crisis her fatherinlaw entered the room
He entered dressed for riding—looking somewhat younger than the night before more cheerful and pleasant too but not a whit less stately He saluted Agatha first and then his daughters with a gracious solemnity patting their cheeks all round something after the fashion of a goodhumoured Eastern bashaw The old gentleman evidently took a secret pride in his womenkind Then he shook hands with my son Nathanael and threw abroad generally a few ordinary remarks to which his two daughters listened with great reverence But in all he did or said was the same benignant hauteur he seemed frozen up within a conglomerate of reserve and formal courtesy he walked talked looked perpetually as Nathanael Harper Esquire of Kingcombe Holm who never allowed either his mind or his body to appear en déshabille Agatha wondered how he could ever have been a baby squalling a boy playing or a young man wooing nay more the thought irresistibly presented itself as she noticed the extreme feebleness which his dignity but half disguised how he would ever stoop to the last levelling of all humanity—the graveclothes and the tomb
Any letters my dear children Any news to tell me before I ride to Kingcombe said he looking round the circle with a patronising interest which Agatha would scarcely have believed real but for the kindly expression of the old mans eye
There were plenty of letters for Elizabeth as usual one for Eulalie —here Eulalie looked affectedly conscious—no others I think
Except one to Nathanael from Frederick observed the Beauty
At the name of his eldest son the Squires mien became a little graver—a little statelier He said coldly Nathanael I hope you have pleasant news from your brother Where is he now
In the British Channel on his way to the Continent
My son going abroad and I never heard of it Some mistake surely He is not really gone
Yes father for a year or perhaps more—but certainly a year
The old gentlemans fingers nervously clutched the handle of his ridingwhip If so Frederick would certainly have shown his father the respect of informing him first Excuse me if I doubt whether my sons plans are quite decided
They are indeed sir said Nathanael gently And I was aware of indeed advised this journey He bids me explain to you that when this letter arrives he will be already gone
The father started—and broke the whip he was playing with He stood a minute the dull red mounting to his temples and lying there like a cloud Then he took the fragments of the ridingwhip from his sons ready hand—thanked him—bade good morning to the womenkind all round and left them
Shall I ride with you father said Nathanael following him to the halldoor with a concerned air
Not today—I thank you Not today
Mary and Eulalie looked at one another This will be a sad blow to papa said the former Frederick was always a great anxiety to him
Agatha inquired wherefore
Because papa abhors a gay vagabondising life and always wished his eldest son to settle down in the county I know—though he says nothing—that this has been a sore point between them for nearly twenty years
And I know added Eulalie mysteriously that papa was going to make a last effort and have Frederick proposed as member for Kingcombe A pretty fight there would have been—papa and Frederick against Marmaduke and his pet candidate
Tis well that is prevented Everything happens for the best said Mary sagely But here comes Nathanael Dont tell him Mrs Harper or he would say we had been gossiping
Mrs Harper was standing moralising on the ins and outs of family life from which her own experience had hitherto been so free Her eyes were wandering up the road where her fatherinlaw had just disappeared riding slowly but erect as a young man While she looked there came up one of those delicious little country ponycarriages which a lady can drive and make herself independent of everybody
It is Anne Valery was the general cry as all ran to meet her at the door—Agatha being the first
My dear—my dear murmured Anne Valery leaning out of her little carriage to pat the brown curls Are you quite well—quite happy And your husband She glanced from one to the other with a keen inquiry Is all well Nathanael
Nathanael smiling at his wife whose look of entire pleasure brought as usual the reflection of the same to him also answered warmly Yes Anne all is well
She seemed satisfied and took his hand to dismount from her carriage Agatha noticed that she walked more feebly in spite of the bright colour which the wind had brought to her cheeks and that soon after she came into the house this tint gradually faded leaving her scarcely even so healthylooking as she had appeared a month ago—the last time they had seen her But her talk was full of cheerfulness
I am come to stay the whole day with you by your fathers desire—and my own May I Mary
Oh yes We shall be so glad especially Elizabeth who was wondering and longing after you
I have not been well London never suits me said Anne carelessly But come now I am about again let me see what is to be done today In the first place I must have a long talk with Elizabeth Is she risen yet Eulalie
Eulalie did not know but Mary added that she feared this was one of Elizabeths hard days when she could not talk much to any one till evening
Anne continued after a pause—I want to drive over to Kingcombe about some business I have had so much on my hands since poor Mr Wilsons death
Annes steward whispered the Beauty importantly to her sisterinlaw You know that half Kingcombe belongs to Anne Valery And Agatha noticed with some amusement what an extreme deference was infused into the usually nonchalant contemptuous manner of the youngest Miss Harper
So poor Wilson is dead And who have you to manage all your property asked Mr Harper suddenly
No one at present I am very particular in my choice As I am only a woman my steward has necessarily considerable influence I would wish him always to be what Mr Wilson was if possible a friend but undoubtedly a gentleman
As Miss Valery spoke Nathanael listened in deep thought then meeting her eyes he coloured slightly but quickly recovering himself said in a low tone Some time today Anne I would like to have a little talk with you
She assented with an inquiring look But she seemed to understand Nathanael well enough to content herself with that look asking no further questions
And for the third important business which should be done today and perhaps the sooner the better I must certainly take Agatha up Holm Hill and show her the view of the Channel
Agatha drew back from the window Ah not the sea—I cannot bear the sea Anne Valery watched her with peculiar earnestness
Were you ever on the sea my dear
Once long ago
Nay I must teach you to admire our magnificent coast On with your bonnet and come along that great hillterrace—do you see it—with Nathanael and me
But you will be tired Mrs Harper said reluctant still yet loth to resist Anne Valery
Tired no The salt breeze gives me strength—health I hardly live when I am not in sight of the Channel Make haste and let us go Agatha
She seemed so eager that no further objection was possible So they soon started—they three only for Mary had occupation in the house and the Beauty was mightily averse to exercise and seaair
They climbed the steep road overhung with trees at whose roots grew clusters of large primrose leaves showing what a lovely walk it must be in spring then higher till all this vegetation ceased leaving only the short grass cropped by the sheep the purple thistles and the furzebushes yellow and cheerful all the year round They then drove along a high ridge for a mile or two till they got quite out of sight of Kingcombe Holm Miss Valery talked gaily the whole way and as though the seabreeze truly gave her life was the very first to propose leaving the carriage and walking on so as to catch the earliest glimpse of the Channel
There she said breathlessly and quitting Mr Harpers arm crossed over to his wife There Agatha
It was such a view as in her life the young girl had never beheld They stood on a high ridge on one side of which lay a wide champaign of moorland on the other a valley bounded by a second ridge and between the two sloping greenly down till it terminated in a little bay Parallel to the valley ran this grand hillterrace—until it likewise reached the coast ending abruptly in precipitous gigantic cliffs against which the tides of centuries might have beat themselves in vain Beyond all motionless in the noonday dazzle and curving itself away in a mist of brightness where the eye failed was the great wide immeasurable sea
The three stood gazing but no one spoke Agatha trembled less with her former fear than with that awestruck sense of the infinite which is always given by the sight of the ocean—that ocean which One holdeth in the hollow of his hand Gradually this awe grew fainter and she was able to look round her and count the white dots scattered here and there on the dazzling sheet of waves
There go the ships said Nathanael See what numbers of them—numbers yet how few they seem—are moving up and down on this highway of all nations Look Agatha at that one a mere speck dipping in the horizon
Do you remember Tennysons lines—they reached Uncle Brian and me even in the wild forests of America
Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail Which brings our friends up from the under world Sad as the last which reddens over one That sinks with all we love below the verge
There it is gone now cried Agatha almost with a sense of loss She felt Anne Valerys fingers tighten convulsively over her arm and saw her with straining eyes and quivering lips watching the vanishing—nay vanished—ship as if all her soul were flying with it to the under world
The sight was so startling so moving—especially in a woman of Miss Valerys mature age and composed demeanour—that Nathanaels wife instinctively turned her eyes away and kept silence In a minute or two Anne had returned to Mr Harpers arm and the three were walking on as before until ere long they nestled themselves in a sheltered nook where the seawind could not reach them and the sun came in warm as summer
Nathanael began to show his wife the different points of scenery—especially the rocky island of Portland beyond which the line of coast sweeps on ruggedly westward to the Lands End
But I believe he said that there is nowhere a grander coast than we have here—not even in Cornwall
Speaking of Cornwall Miss Valery said closely observing Nathanael I lately heard a sad story about some mines there
Mr Harper seemed restless The speculation had failed having been illmanaged or as I greatly fear a cheat from the beginning As I had property near in the county—what did you not know that Nathanael—I was asked to do something for the poor starving miners of Wheal Caroline Have you heard the name Agatha
No said Agatha innocently not paying much attention except to the lovely view
Not heard That is strange But you Nathanael—
I know all he said hastily It is a sad history—too sad to be talked of here Another time—
His eye met hers—and both turned upon Agatha who sat a little apart enjoying the novel scene and rejoicing above all that the sea—vague object of nameless terror—could ever appear so beautiful
Poor child murmured Miss Valery
Hush Anne Nathanael whispered so imploringly—nay commandingly that Anne was startled
How like you are to—
What were you saying asked Agatha turning at last
I was saying Miss Valery replied hastily—I was saying how like Nathanael looked just then to his Uncle Brian
Did he indeed Was that all you were speaking of
Not quite all but I find your husband knows the story he will tell you as he ought added Anne pointedly
Surely I will one day said Nathanael But in this case as in many others where there has been misfortune or wrong I consider the best wisest most charitable course is not to spread it abroad until the wrong has had a chance of being remedied Do you not think so Anne
Yes she answered her eyes fixed upon the resolute young face that seemed compelling her to silence almost against her will It was marvellous to see the influence Nathanael had even over Anne Valery
And now continued Mr Harper while I am alone with you and my wife—here he drew Agatha within the circle of talk and made her lean against his knee his arm shielding her from the wind—I wanted to talk with you Anne about some plans I have
Say on
I have given up—as Agatha wrote you word—all idea of our settling at Montreal It is necessary that I should at once find some employment in England
Not yet—not just yet said his wife
I must dear It is right—it is necessary Anne herself would say so
Miss Valery assented much to Agathas surprise
The only question then is—what can I do Nothing in the professions—for I have acquired none nothing in literature—for I am not a genius but anything in the clear straightforward manofbusiness line—Uncle Brian used to accuse me of being so very practical—Anne he added smiling I wish instead of having to puff off myself thus Uncle Brian were here to advertise my qualifications
Qualifications for what inquired Agatha Miss Valery being silent
For obtaining from my friend here what I would at once have applied for to any stranger poor Wilsons vacant post as her overseer landagent steward or whatever the name may be
Steward cried Mrs Harper Surely you would never dream of being a steward
Why not Because I am unworthy of the situation or—as I fear my proud little wife thinks—because the situation is not worthy of me Nay a man never loses honour by earning his bread in honourable fashion and Miss Valery herself said that for this office she required both a gentleman and a friend Will she accept me
And he extended proudly as his father might—yet with a frank independence nobler than the pride of all the Harpers—his honest right hand Anne Valery took it the tears rising in her eyes
I could never have offered you this Nathanael but since you are so steadfast so wise——Yes it is indeed considering all things the wisest course you can pursue Only I will agree to nothing unless your wife consents
I will not consent said Agatha determinedly
There was an uncomfortable pause
I see in your plan no reason—no right continued she forgetting in her annoyance even the outward deference with which her sense of conjugal dignity led her invariably to treat her husband Why was I never told this before
Because I never thought of it myself until this morning
The exceeding gentleness of his tone surprised her and restrained many more words not oversweet which were issuing from her angry lips
The fact is Agatha—I may speak before Anne Valery whom we both love—
And who loves you both as if you had been her own kindred
These words so tremulously said swept away a little bitterness that was rising up in Agathas heart against Miss Valery
It is necessary Mr Harper went on—imperatively so for my comfort—that I should at once do something And in choosing ones work it always seemed to me there was great wisdom in the rule—Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do do it with thy might Many things I could not do this I can well and faithfully as Anne will find Nor need I feel ashamed of being steward to Miss Valery
Agatha felt her spirit of opposition quaking on its throne But your father—your sisters What will they all say at Kingcombe Holm
Nothing that I cannot combat My father will be glad of our settling near him in Dorsetshire
In Dorsetshire echoed Mrs Harper dolefully and thereupon fled her last visions of a gay London home Yet she already liked her husbands county and people well enough to bear the sacrifice with tolerable equanimity
And whatever he says whatever any one else says I have no fear if my wife will only stand by me and trust that I do everything for the best
His wife listened not without agitation for she remembered their first dispute only a few days ago Here was rising another storm Yet either she felt weaker to contend or something in Nathanaels manner lured her to believe him in the right She listened—only halfconvinced yet still she listened
Anne Valery did the same though she took no part in the argument Only continually her eyes wandered to Nathanael less with smiling heartwarm affection than with the pensive tenderness with which one watches a dead likeness revived in a living face
At last when he had expressed all he could—everything except entreaty or complaint—Mr Harper paused Now Agatha speak
She felt that she must yield yet tried to struggle a little longer She had been so unused to control
You should have consulted with me—have explained more of your reasons which as yet I do not comprehend Why should you be so wondrously anxious to begin work It is unreasonable unkind
Am I unkind to you my poor Agatha His accent was that of unutterable pain
No no that you never are Only—I suppose because I am young and lately married—I do not half understand you What must I do Miss Valery
Anne looked from one to the other—Nathanael who as was his habit in all moments of great trial assumed an aspect unnaturally hard—and Agatha whose young fierce spirit was just bursting out wrathful yet half repentant all the while What must you do You must try to learn the lesson that every woman has to learn from and for the man she loves—to have faith in him
We women she continued softly the very best and wisest of us cannot enter thoroughly into the nature of the man we love We can only love him That is when we once believe him worthy of affection Firmly knowing that we must bear with all the rest and where we do not quite understand we must as I said have faith in him I have heard of some women whose faith has lasted all their life
Annes serious smile and the beautiful steadfastness of her eyes which vaguely turned seaward—though apparently looking at nothing—made a deep impression on the young wife
She answered thoughtfully I believe in my husband too otherwise I would not have married him Therefore since our two wills seem to clash and he is the older and the wiser—let him decide as he thinks best—I will try to have faith in him
Nathanael grasped her hand but did not speak—it seemed impossible to him Soon after they all rose and turned homeward leaving the breezy terrace and the bright sunshiny sea None turned to look back at either excepting only—for one lingering parting glance—Anne Valery
CHAPTER XIV
The same afternoon Mr and Mrs Harper and Miss Valery drove to Kingcombe to see if in that quaint little town there was a house suitable for the young couple They had not said a word to either of the Miss Harpers concerning this sudden arrangement agreeing that the father of the household ought to be shown the respect of receiving the first information
And then said Nathanael I trust mainly to Anne Valery to overcome his scruples Anne can do anything she likes with my father Dont you remember he continued leaning over to the front seat where the two ladies were and looking quite cheerful as though a great load had been taken off his mind—dont you remember—I do though I was such a little boy—how there was one day a grand family tumult because Frederick wanted his commission and my father refused it—how you walked up and down the garden first with one and then with the other persuading everybody to be friends while Uncle Brian and I—
There that will do said Miss Valery Never mind old times but let us look forward to the future Here we are at Kingcombe Agatha how do you like the place
And Agatha on this glowing autumn afternoon eagerly examined her future home
It was a rather noteworthy country town small clean with an air of sober preservation reminding one of a wellkept dignified healthy old age It wore its antiquity with a sort of pride as if its quaint streets intersecting one another in cruciform shape still kept the impress of mediaeval feet barons or priests in the days when Kingcombe had sixteen churches and a castle to boot—as if the Roman walls which enclosed it lay solemnly conscious that at night ghosts of old Latin warriors glided over the smooth turf of those great earthen mounds where the townschildren played Even the very river which came up to the town narrow and slow with perhaps one sailingbarge on it visible far across the flat country and looking like a boat taking an insane pedestrian excursion over the meadows—even the river seemed to run silently as if remembering the time when it had floated up Danish ships with their fierce barbarian freight and landed them just under that red sandcliff where the lazy cows now stood and the innocent blackberrybushes grew
It was a curious place Kingcombe or so Agatha thought
How strange it is Mr Harper observed All these old spots seem to me like places beheld in a dream Uncle Brian often used to talk about them I think to this day he remembers everything and everybody about Kingcombe
Does he
And that some day or other he will come back again I do most firmly believe Do not you Anne
Yes As she spoke her hand involuntarily was pressed upon her side Agatha wondered she responded so coldly and with so melancholy a look to such a joyous prospect as Uncle Brians return would surely be to all the family
But here they were in Kingcombe streets—very quiet sleepy streets which seemed to have taken an undisturbed doze for a few centuries to atone for the terrible excitements there created successively by Danish Roman Saxon and baronial ruffians The poor little town seemed determined to spend its old age in peace and solitude for you might have planted a cannonade at the marketplace and swept down East Street West Street North Street and South Street without laying more than a dozen official murders on your soul There was indeed great reason for Mrs Harpers innocent inquiry—Where are all the people gone to
Except on marketdays we rarely see more street passengers than now in Kingcombe Aline Valery answered smiling You will get accustomed to that and many other things when you are a country lady Now shall we drive to the Dugdales or look first at the two houses I told you of
Mr Harper preferred the latter course under fear his wife merrily declared of being circumvented by Mrs Dugdale The brother and sister she had already discovered seemed on as pleasant terms as fire and water since as Harrie punningly averred one invariably put out the other They did not squabble—Nathanael Harper never squabbled—but they always met with a gentle hissing like water sprinkled on coals Agatha who was quite new to these harmless fraternalities always occurring in large families was mightily amused thereat
The first house the little party looked over was as Emma Thornycroft would have phrased it a love of a place Diningroom drawingrooms conservatory gardens—quite a gentlemans mansion Agatha set her heart upon it at once and it blotted out even her lingering regret over the lost home in the Regents Park She ran over the rooms with the glee of a child and only came back to her husband to urge him to take it giving her this thing and that thing necessary to its beautification
He patted her cheek with a pleased yet sad look
Dear I will give you all I can be quite sure of that But—
Nay no buts I must have this house Besides Miss Valery says it is the only house to let in Kingcombe
Except the one I showed you as we passed
Oh that mean little cottage—impossible We could never think of living there
Nevertheless let us look at it You know we are but just beginning the world and small beginnings make great endings as Uncle Brian would sagely observe Come along my little wife
She tried to slip from his hand and appeal to Miss Valery but Anne had moved forward and left them alone There was no resource and even while Agathas spirit was rather restive under the coercion she could not but acknowledge the pleasantness with which it was enforced
Well Ill go with you but I hereby declare rebellion I will not have that miserable nutshell of a house said she laughing
Yet it was a pretty nutshell—quite after the love in a cottage fashion—though adorned and perfected by the late Mr Wilson an old bachelor
Did he die here asked Agatha
No in Cornwall Anne answered He had gone over to look at some property I have lately bought there The people on it miners thrown out of work gave him more anxiety than he could bear for he was not strong He said their misery broke his heart
Miss Valery spoke softly but the words caught Nathanaels ear He looked greatly shocked—and said in a low tone Anne dont talk of this If I live the wrong shall be atoned for
Agatha wondered for the moment what wrong there was which made her husband look so pained and humbled But she forbore to ask questions and again turned her attention to the house
It must have been a charming nest for an old bachelor and I would have liked it very much myself had I been an old maid But it would never do for us you know
Nathanael smiled so loth to contradict her or thwart her pretty ways
Dont you see Miss Valery Agatha continued gathering apprehensions from his silence smiling though it was—Dont you see how different the cases are This little house might do very well for Mr Wilson but then if my husband takes his place as your steward it is only for amusement We are rich people you know
My poor child began Anne Valery looking regretfully nay reproachfully at Mr Harper But he whispered as he passed
Not yet Anne—for my fathers sake—the whole familys—nay her own Not just yet
Such was his earnestness such his air of command that for the second time Anne looking in his face and reading the old likeness there—obeyed him
Agatha wondering uncomfortable recommenced what she jestingly called her little rebellion I see Mr Harper your heart is inclining to this place though why or wherefore I cannot tell But do incline it back again We must have the other house—that delicious Honeywood
My dear little wife Nobody could live at Honeywood under a thousand a year
Well and have we not that I am sure I thought I had more money than ever I could do with How much have I
He hesitated—she fancied it was at the thoughtless I and generously changed the expression
How much have we
Enough—I will make it enough—to keep you from wanting anything and give you all the luxuries to which you were born But not enough to warrant us in living at Honeywood I cannot do it—not even for your sake Agatha
I do not see the matter as you do
You cannot dear I know that But in this one thing—when on various accounts I can judge better than she can—will not my wife trust me
And Anne Valerys glance seemed to echo Trust him
Agatha tried to the utmost of her small stock of patience grew more bitter than she could have believed it possible to be with her husband and Anne Valery
You expect too much she said sharply I cannot trust even though I may be compelled to obey
Mr Harper turned round anxiously Agatha what must—what can I do No he muttered to himself I can do nothing He walked to the window and stood looking out mutely on the little garden—tiny but so pretty with its green verandah its semicircle of arbutus trees serving as a frame to the hilly landscape beyond its one wavy acacia woodbineclasped at the foot of which a robinredbreast was hopping and singing over the few fallen leaves
While they all thus stood there came a light foot and a flutter of draperies to the door
My patience what are you all doing here So Agatha—Anne How dye do my worthy brother Why didnt you all come to our house
We were coming directly Agatha said But how did you find out we were at Kingcombe
You little Londonlady As if anybody especially the muchbeloved Anne Valery saving her presence and the muchwonderedat Mr and Mrs Locke Harper could drive through Kingcombe without the fact being speedily circulated throughout the whole town Why my dear if you must know the grocer told Mrs Edwards nursemaid and Mrs Edwards nursemaid told it to Mrs Jones at the Library and Mrs Jones told Miss Trenchard who was coming to call on me so I asked Duke to give the children their dinner and off I started tracking you as cleverly as one of Nathanaels Red Indians And here I am
She stopped breathless her flounces veil and shawl flying abroad in all directions But she looked so hearty natural and goodhumoured that her entrance was quite a relief to Agatha—more especially as for a great wonder she asked no questions
So I hear you have been showing Honeywood to Mrs Harper Pretty place isnt it A pity its not on your property Anne or you would not let it go to ruin unlet And here is poor Mr Wilsons old house with all the furniture just as it was How melancholy
She said How melancholy just in the tone that she would have said How entertaining From circumstances or from natural peculiarity—that light easy temper which dances like a feather over the troubled waters of life—she had evidently never learnt the meaning of the word sorrow
But now Harriet continued what I come for is to carry you all off to lunch—the childrens dinner My dear you must see my boys your nephews
Agatha stood aghast at the idea of having nephews
And such boys Miss Valery added interposing The Missus has good right to be proud of them If there is one thing in which Harrie succeeds better than another it is in the management of her children
Bah they manage themselves I just leave them to nature cried Mrs Dugdale but her eye—the mothers eye—twinkled with pleasure all the time which greatly improved its expression Agatha thought She walked off gaily with her sisterinlaw Nathanael following Anne stayed behind conversing with the old woman who showed the house She and Mr Harper had pointedly avoided any private speech with one another
I declare there is Duke cried Mrs Dugdale suddenly Just look at him meandering up and down the town Agatha laughed at the word meandering seemed so perfectly expressive of Duke Dugdale But my husband always turns up everywhere except where hes wanted Does yours I beg your pardon—since you are watching him as if you thought he were running away Nonsense Agatha—I always call everybody by their Christian names—Nonsense Hes only shaking hands with his brotherinlaw both looking as pleased as ever they can look
The next moment Harrie and Agatha came up with the two gentlemen at the door of Mr Dugdales house They were talking politically and earnestly as men will do—Nathanael having apparently forgotten the bitter cloud of a few minutes since which yet lay heavy on his wifes heart At least it seemed so and his indifference made her angry
Neither spoke to their wives—being busy laying their heads together over a newspaper—until Harrie very unceremoniously began to pull at her husbands coat which he bore for a time in perfect obliviousness At last he turned and patted her with his great hand just as some sage mild Newfoundland dog would coax into peace the attacks of a wild young kitten
Nay now Missus—dontee love Im busy—And you see Nathanael as your brother is sure not to canvass or try for the town and as Mr Trenchard is such a fine fellow your fathers friend too dont you think we could coax him round By conviction of course Trenchard wouldnt take any mans votes except upon conviction
Wouldnt he said Nathanael smiling at the simpleminded politician who believed that everybodys politics were as honest as his own At which unpropitious moment a number of halfdrunken men with Vote for Trenchard stuck round their broken hats came round the corner shouting
Hurrah for Freetrade Duke Dugdale for ever Bravo—and give us a shilling Amen
You see now what comes of your politics cried his wife trying to pull him into the hall But the good man still stood bareheaded a perplexed expression troubling his face
Its very odd now I made Trenchard promise not to give them a penny for drink Poor fellows if they only knew better But Ill tellee what it is Nathanael and he used the slight Dorset accent which always broadened when he was very earnest those lads drink because they are starving—drink drowns care If they had Freetrade they wouldnt be starving if they were not starving they wouldnt drink Therefore hurrah for Freetrade and my poor fellows heres your shilling Only dontee let it go for more drink and harkee remember its no bribery money o Mr Trenchards its mine
Thankee zir thankee hurrah for Duke Dugdale and Freetrade shouted the men as they staggered off
Mr Dugdale stood looking after them with that mild benevolent smile which made his ugly face quite beautiful—at least Agatha thought so—which was very generous in her seeing he had not taken the least notice of her all this while when he did it was in the most passing way
Eh—what Missus did you say Mrs Harper was here He shook hands with her looking in another direction—then again turned to Nathanael
Utterly useless cried Harrie laughing Hes more misty than usual today Let us leave the men alone stupid bears as they are and come upstairs to the children
All this time no one asked or looked for Miss Valery who had lingered behind bidding them go forward It seemed the habit of the family that she should be left to go about in her own fashion interfered with by nobody and attended by nobody save when she came among them to do them good It was not wonderful since having passed that time of youth when a pleasant woman is everybodys petted darling she had lived to feel herself alone in the world—wife sister and child to no one It always takes a certain amount of moral courage to meet that destiny
Aided by the beneficial influence of dinner which in the Dugdales house seemed to have the mysterious property of extending over an indefinite time Agatha had succeeded in making friends with her nephews to say nothing of a lovely little niece who would persist in putting chubby arms round Pas neck and dividing his attention sorely between Freetrade and ricepudding Mr Harper had taken another child on his knee and was cutting oranges and doing Uncle Nathanael to perfection His wife stole beside him with affection Why would he not be always as now Why was he so good so gentle to others yet so hard to be understood by her Was it her own fault She almost believed so
On this group all happy all united together by those lovely links in the chain of happiness—little children—Anne Valery entered She passed round the table having a word or smile or kiss for all Then she went to an armchair looking tired though joining all the while in the conversation particularly with Mr Dugdale who seemed to have a great regard for her
Ah Miss Valery I wish you were a man and could vote for us said he peering from underneath the babyhands which made a pointed Norman arch over Pas eyes Youd be sure to vote on the right side Didnt we make a convert of you Brian and I years before people talked of Freetrade long before he went out and I got married to mamma there Eh Brian my lad—and he patted his youngest boy throned on Mr Harpers knee—if you only grow up such a wise man as your granduncle
Agatha was amused to see how the idea and recollection of Uncle Brian had permeated through every branch of the Harper family Almost every family has some such personage mythical sublime exciting the wonder and heroworship of all the young people Little Brian opened wide his large grey eyes at the mention of his honoured namesake
But while he gazed his papas puddingladen spoon stopped halfway on its journey to the babymouth that was waiting for it—Duke Dugdale was in a reverie He did not even hear the little clamourer on his knee
Really now thats very odd very odd indeed And he felt anxiously in his pocket No I had another coat on that day—mamma wheres my grey overcoat
Duke—what on earth are you talking about Now Agatha confess—isnt my husband the very vaguest mistiest man you ever knew Oh you dear old visionary what do you want with grey overcoats at dinnertime
He smiled patiently—perhaps he did not even hear—put down his little girl and walked out of the room his wife anxiously jumping up and following with some pathetic exclamation about Dukes being so cross Which seemed to Agatha the most amusing exaggeration possible
In a minute or two this most opposite couple—opposite but fitting like a dovetailed joint—came in merrily together Harrie holding a letter
Would you believe he got it last week has been carrying it about ever since and never thought of it There Nathanael its yours Devour it
From Uncle Brian cried the young man At which name there ran a great sensation throughout the family in all but Miss Valery who still kept her chair
News news cried Harrie Agatha and the boys gathering round Mr Dugdale walked up and down the room—his hands behind him—smiling in benevolent content at everybody and at nobody Brian and his tiny sister consoled themselves for the little attention they got by slily climbing on the table and embedding their fingers in the ricepudding
Nathanael read the letter aloud as seemed to be the family custom with Uncle Brians correspondence
My dear Boy I find the Western solitudes are no nearer heaven than civilisation My two red friends having escaped and got back which they did on purpose to tomahawk me—I gave the tribe the slip and am here in New York There I accidentally received your letter
You are a foolish boy When I was young I think I would rather have died than have married a rich woman even if she loved me which no woman ever did Nevertheless I hope you will fare better than you deserve
Shall you ever come back to America Not on my account I pray though I miss you and am getting old and lonely Perhaps it is as well that you left me and have married and settled That seems to me now the happier worthier life for a man to lead I should like to come and see you if I could come not quite the beggar I am now Therefore I often think I shall go to California
There was a light movement among the listening group as Miss Valery was found quietly to have joined them and to be leaning over Nathanaels shoulder He pointed his finger to the letter that she might read it with him She moved her head in thanks and he continued
If in this or any other form of the mad goldfever I can heap up a little of that cursed—I mean blessed dust you may possibly see me in England Till then—or till death—which seems equally likely I remain
Your affectionate Uncle
Brian Locke Harper
PS—I send this through Marmaduke Dugdales late agent in New York Tell my old friend Duke that I congratulate him on having given up merchandising so that my brother at Kingcombe Holm can no longer reproach him with being the only one of the Harper connection who earns a livelihood
This letter which was trying to read being sharp and stinging on many points to more than one person present Nathanael went steadily through though several times his colour changed No one made any comment except Agatha who observed that Uncle Brian must be rather bitter and sarcastic at heart
No—not bitter Anne Valery said—only sorrowful It is often so when after a hard life men feel themselves growing old What shall you do Nathanael
About what His going to California Nay I cannot prevent that What use in my writing when he gives me such lectures about my marriage
He would not if he knew Agatha Besides in this doctrine he is a little wrong It is of small moment on which side lies the wealth—love makes all things even
Mr Harper turned away with one of those uneasy looks which Agatha had already begun to notice and speculate over She made up her mind that at the first possible opportunity she would muster up courage and claim her right as a wife to know her husbands whole heart
The epistle produced a considerable change on the family group The boys were clamorous to know all about California and whether Uncle Brian would not come home in a gold ship with silver sails on which subject Nathanael was too full of his own thoughts to give much satisfactory information Mr Dugdale had walked out of the window into the garden behind where Miss Valery followed him and they two were seen strolling up and down in close conversation As they passed the window Agatha noticed that Anne Valerys cheeks were slightly flushed and that Mr Dugdales mistiness of manner had assumed an unusual clearness He was shaking his companion warmly by the hand
Anne what a wise woman you are Such a plan would have been years in coming into my head And its just the very thing It will give him occupation and independence without hurting his pride Moreover—and a sudden thought dilated his whole countenance with pleasure—I shouldnt wonder if it brought him home
Hush
Oh yes Ill remember we must be very particular Bytheby Anne—here a bright idea seemed to strike the worthy man—what a help he would be to us against the Protectionists Wouldnt he see the blessing of Freetrade
Anne smiled with her finger on her lip to stop the conversation and they stepped in at the window—Mrs Harper taking care to glide away lest they should suspect what she had so unintentionally heard It was doubtless one of Miss Valerys numerous anonymous charities which fell as abundant and unnoticed as rain
Now—and Anne startled her godchild Brian by turning up his little rosy chin and kissing him—now who will come back with us to that grand familydinner which the Squire has set his heart upon and Aunt Mary is so busyabout today at Kingcombe Holm
All soon started Agatha being kidnapped not much against her will by her gay sisterinlaw and driven across the moors at such a helterskelter pace that Nathanael who had insisted upon following them on horseback received his wife at the door with an evident thanksgiving that she had reached home alive
Miss Valerys little equipage came leisurely on behind Nobody asked what she and Duke Dugdale had conversed about but Harrie shrewdly suspected he had been talking poor dear Anne to death about the votes of her Kingcombe tenantry and the probable chances of Mr Trenchard and Freetrade
CHAPTER XV
To see the elder Mr Harper sitting at the head of his own dinnertable was a real pleasure He never looked so well at any other time His grandiose air was then so mixed with genuine kindliness that it only enriched his courtesies like the body in mellow old wine He leaned graciously back in the armchair peculiarly his own surveying the long table shone over by soft waxlights and circled by smiling faces most of them women as the old gentleman liked best Even the plain Mary taking the foot of the table looked well and mistresslike in her black velvet dress Eulalie and Mrs Dugdale kept up the good appearance of the family while Miss Valery and the young Mrs Harper took either side of the host and were duly honoured by him
Agatha wore her weddingdress of white silk rich and plain She looked very pretty her girlish abandon of manner softened by a certain wifely dignity which grew upon her day by day She filled her position well though often with secret trembling and shy glances over to her husband to see if he were satisfied with her—a fact which no one but herself could doubt
Now my children said the Squire when the servants had withdrawn and dessert and wines foretold the chatty hour after dinner of which he was so fond—now my children—I may call you all so and he smiled at Anne Valery—let me tell you how glad I am to see you and especially the youngest of you—here he softly patted Agathas hand on the table And since we always drink healths here—a good old fashion that I should be loth to renounce—let me give you the first toast—Mr and Mrs Nathanael Locke Harper
Hear hear said Mr Dugdale vaguely from the bottom of the table at which indecorum—probably occasioned by a county meeting that was running in his head—his fatherinlaw looked extremely severe But the severity was soon drowned in the nods and smiles that circled round After which Nathanael said briefly but with feeling
Father my brother and sisters and Anne—my wife and I thank you all
What do you think of this our oldfashioned custom said the Squire turning to his daughterinlaw A remnant of my young days when every lady used to be called upon to give the health of a gentleman and every gentleman of a lady It was always so at your grandfathers table Anne where many a time when you were a baby in longclothes I had the pleasure of giving yours
Thank you said Anne smiling She was evidently a great favourite with the old gentleman
You should know my dear daughterinlaw that my acquaintance with this lady dates almost from her birth And for nineteen years I held over her the right which I understand my eldest son—he paused a moment—which Major Harper had the honour to hold over you Her grandfather left me his executor and sole guardian of his infant heiress I was a young man then but I tried to deserve his trust Did I Anne
Again she smiled—most affectionately
And I had the pleasure of seeing my ward at twentyone the richest heiress and the truest gentlewoman in the west of England She did me infinite credit and I had fulfilled to my friend one of the most sacred trusts a man can receive Your excellent grandfather Anne—let us drink his memory
Reverently and in silence the old Squire raised the glass to his lips—a glass filled with only water—he never took wine
You see my dear young lady how this old custom brings back all lost or absent friends We never forget them and like to talk of them and of old times Thus always at this hour we gather round us innumerable pleasant recollections and remember all who are dear to us or to our guests at Kingcombe Holm—Now Mrs Harper we wait your toast
Agatha coloured felt nervous and ashamed glanced at her husband but met nothing except an encouraging smile She thought—remembering her own few ties—that she would gratify Nathanael by naming some one nearest to him So she looked up timidly and gave Uncle Brian
Every one applauded—the Squire graciously acknowledging the compliment to his brother
The youngest and only surviving brother of many and as such much regarded by me he explained to his daughterinlaw In spite of the great difference in our ages and some trifling opposition in our characters I cherish the highest esteem for my brother Brian And hereupon he asked for the letter received that day which was duly read aloud by his son—saving the wise omission of the postscript
Go to California said old Mr Harper knitting his brows I do not like that—it is unbecoming a gentleman Though he was wild and daring enough Brian never yet forgot he was a gentleman Was it not so Anne
Anne assented
He was a fine generous fellow too Do you remember how a week before he left us so suddenly he rode fifty miles across the country to get some ice for you in your fever You were very ill then my poor girl It was touching to hear him call Miss Valery a girl—she whom the young Agatha regarded as quite an elderly woman
And though he did leave us so abruptly—wherefore remains to this day a mystery unless it was a young mans whim and love of change—still I have the greatest dependence on Brian Harper continued the Squire who seemed as a parental right to monopolise all the talk at table
Brian Harper exclaimed Mr Dugdale waking from a trance Yes—Brian would surely be able to furnish those statistics on Canadian wheat His judgment was always as sound as his politics
What was your remark Marmaduke said the old Squire testily
O nothing—nothing father Harrie quickly answered with a half merry half warning frown at her lord Mr Dugdale folded himself up again into silence with the quiet consciousness of one who has a pearl in his keeping—the undoubted value of which there is no need either to put forward or to defend
Miss Valery here came to the rescue and turned the conversation into a merry channel Agatha was surprised to find what a wondrous power of unfeigned homecheerfulness there was in this woman who had lived to be called even by those that loved her an old maid And when at last the Squire gracefully allowed the departure of his womenkind who floated away like a flock of released birds they all clustered around Anne as though she were in the constant habit of knowing everybodys business and of thinking and judging for everybody
Agatha sat a little way off watching her and wondering what could be the strange influence which always made her take delight in watching Anne Valery
There is something very peculiar in this admiration which one woman occasionally conceives for another generally much older than herself It is not exactly friendship but partakes more of the character of love—in its idealisation its shyness its enthusiastic reverence its hopeless doubt of requital and above all its jealousies For this reason it generally comes previous to or for want of the real love the drawing of the feminine soul towards its masculine half which makes—according to the Platonic doctrine—a perfect being Of course this theory would be almost universally considered sentimentalism—Agathas little infatuation being included therein but the frequency of such infatuations existing in the world around us argues some truth at their origin
To the young girl—still so girlish though she was married—there was an inexplicable attraction in all Anne Valery said or did The very sweep of her dress across the floor—her slow soft motions which might have been haughty when she was young but now were only gracious and selfpossessed the way she had of folding her hands on one another and looking straight forward with a kind observant smile free alike from sentiment crossness or melancholy her tone and manner neither showy nor sharp her habit of saying the wisest things in the most simple way so that nobody recognised them as wisdom till afterwards—all filled Agatha with a sense of satisfied admiration She wished either that she had been a man to have adored and married Anne years ago—or that her own marriage had been delayed for a little until she had grown wiser and more fit for lifes destiny by learning from and loving such a woman as Miss Valery
Moreover with the dawning jealousy that all strong likings bring she wished to appropriate her—and was quite annoyed that Anne sat so long discussing winter mantles with Eulalie and Mary afterwards diverging to a Christmas clothing fund to be started at Kingcombe under Mrs Dugdales eye finally listening to a whispered communication on the part of the Beauty—which had reference to a certain Edward—about whose position in the family there could be no mistake At last to Agathas great satisfaction Miss Valery rose and proposed that they two—Mrs Harper and herself—should go and visit Elizabeth
Passing through the galleries Anne seemed tired and walked slowly stopping one minute at a window to show her companion the moonlight over the hills
Is it not a beautiful world If we could but look at it always as we do when we are young The half sigh the momentary shadow sweeping over her quiet face like a cloud over the moon—surprised and touched Agatha
Do you know I have stood and looked out of this same window ever since I was the height of its first pane No wonder I have a weakness for stopping here and looking out for a minute at my dear old moon But let us pass on
She took up her candle again and led Agatha by the hand like a petchild to Elizabeths door
Miss Harper was lying as usual but had a writingcase before her and it was astonishing what neat caligraphy those weak childishlooking fingers could execute It resembled the writers own mind—clear delicate wellarranged exact
We are not come to stay very long but do we interrupt you Elizabeth
Never Anne dear I was only writing to Frederick He is gone abroad you are aware
Yes
I want to know why he went Has Nathanael told either of you said Elizabeth fixing her quick eyes on both her visitors
Both answered in the negative—Miss Valery saying with attempted gaiety You know one might as well question a stone wall as Nathanael He can be both deaf and dumb
Not to me Everybody tells me everything or I find it out I found out that this little lady had a chance of being my sisterinlaw before ever she herself was certain of the fact Ah Agatha you should have seen Nathanael when he came down to us that week
What did he do the young wife asked not without some painful curiosity—for sometimes in the moments when she could not make out her husbands rather peculiar character a wicked demon had whispered that perhaps Mr Harper had never truly loved her or that his devotion was too sudden to be a lasting reality
What did he do—Oh nothing He was very quiet very selfpossessed You could hardly tell he was in love at all Nobody ever guessed it but I—not even Anne But in love or not I saw that he was determined to have you and when Nathanael determines on a thing—Oh I knew you would be married to him You could not help it
Nor did she wish—nor need she said Anne gently as she saw Agathas confusion But we shall soon cease teasing our young couple I hear that at Christmas we shall have another marriage in the family Edward Thorpe has got the living—the richest one
So of course Eulalie will marry him The deduction reached Agatha as rather sarcastic though perhaps more through the interpretation of her own feeling than that of the speaker She asked with one of her usual plain speeches
Does Eulalie love Mr Thorpe very much
The remark was addressed to both but after a pause Elizabeth said Answer that question Anne
What sort of an answer do you want my dear
One perfectly plain I like simplicity Is Eulalie much attached to the man she is to marry
Women marry with many forms of love Eulalies will do exceedingly well for Mr Thorpe He is a very worthy young clergyman who takes a wife as a matter of necessity As for love—have you noticed Agatha how many women one sees wives and mothers who live creditably through a long life and go down to their graves without ever having known the real meaning of the word
Anne was talking more than usual tonight and Agatha liked to listen The subject came home to her Will Eulalie be one of these
I think so She may make a very good attentive wife but she will never know what is real love
Tell me what is that sort of love—the right love—which one ought to bring to ones husband
Miss Valery looked surprised at the young girls eager manner Are you seriously asking that question and of me who never had a husband
Oh one likes to hear various opinions What do you call loving
Almost every human being loves in a different way
Well then your way I mean But noticing the momentary reticence which Annes manner showed she added I mean the kind of love you have most sympathy with in other people
I have sympathy in all My neighbours will tell you hereabouts that Anne Valery is the universal confidante and the greatest marriagemaker not matchmaker in all Dorset I dont repudiate the character It is pleasant to see young people loving one another
Still you have not told me what you call loving
Do you really wish to hear said Anne seriously Then speaking in a low voice she added I would have every woman marry not merely liking a man well enough to accept him as a husband but loving him so wholly that wedded or not she feels she is at heart his wife and none others to the end of her life So faithful that she can see all his little faults though she takes care no one else shall see them yet would as soon think of loving him the less for these as of ceasing to look up to heaven because there are a few clouds in the sky So true and so fond that she needs neither to vex him with her constancy nor burden him with her love since both are selfexistent and entirely independent of anything he gives or takes away Thus she will marry neither from liking esteem nor gratitude for his love but from the fulness of her own If they never marry as sometimes happens—and Annes voice slightly faltered—God will cause them to meet in the next existence They cannot be parted—they belong to one another
All were silent—these three women—one to whom love must have been only a name the other who spoke of it quietly seriously as we talk of things belonging to the world to come and the third who sat thoughtful wondering doubting afraid to believe in a truth which brought with it her own condemnation
You talk Miss Valery as people do in books Some would call it romance
Would they And do you
Not quite I used to think the same sometimes but perfect love like perfect beauty is a thing one never meets with in real life
Yet one does not the less believe in it and desire to find approximations thereto No my child I do not talk romance I am too old for that and have seen too much of the world Nevertheless despite all I have seen—the false foolish weak attachments—the unholy marriages—the afterlife of marriage made unholier still by struggling against what was inevitable—still I believe in the one true love which binds a womans heart faithfully to one man in this life and God grant it in the next But you have no need to hear all this—little wife You do not wish to be taught how to love Nathanael
Agatha tried to smile—to conceal the pain rising in her heart
Come then I will teach you how to love him—in better words than mine and from a woman who though writing out of the deep truth of her poetheart would scorn to write mere romance
Any woman would answered Agatha running her eyes over a book which Miss Valery had lifted from the silk coverlid and which poor Elizabeth looked after fondly as sick people do after the face of a friend
Listen with your heart open It is sure to find entrance there said Anne merrily until turning over the pages she grew serious She was not quite too old to be insensible to the glamour of poetry Her voice was hardly like itself—at least not like what Agatha had ever heard it—when she began to read
How do I love thee Let me count the ways I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and Ideal Grace I love thee to the level of every days Most quiet need by sun and candlelight I love thee freely as men strive for right I love thee purely as they turn from praise I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs and with my childhoods faith I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints I love thee with the breath Smiles tears of all my life and if God choose I shall but love thee better after death
There was a pause of fullhearted silence and then Agatha heard a sigh behind her
Her husband had come to the door and hearing reading had stolen in no one noticing him but his sister Agatha saw nothing her eyelids were closely fiercely shut over the tears that rose at this vision of a lost or impossible paradise
Agatha She looked up and saw him stand wearing his palest coldest aspect—that which always seemed to freeze up every young feeling within her The pang it gave found vent in but one expression—scarcely meant to pass her lips—and inaudible to all save him
Oh why—why did I marry
The moment after she felt how wrong it was and would have atoned but Mr Harper had moved quickly from her side Elizabeth called him he seemed not to hear Anne closing her book addressed him
Are you come to talk with us or to fetch your wife away
Neither he said bitterly But recovering himself—Nay Anne I came for you My father wishes to see you He will hear nothing I can urge You must come down and talk with him or I do not know what will be done
Agatha had until now forgotten that her husband had intended after dinner to tell his father his plans concerning the stewardship It had been apparently a harder task than he thought to strive with the old Squires prejudices Seeing his extreme perturbation Agatha repented herself deeply of any unkindness towards him
She went to his side What is the matter Tell me Let me help you
You he echoed then added with an accent studiously kind Thank you Agatha You are very good always
He let her take his arm and stand talking with himself and Miss Valery
I feared it would be so the latter said Your father has a strong will still he can be persuaded We must try
But only persuasion—no reasons Understand me Anne—no reasons
Miss Valery looked at the young man very earnestly
Nathanael if I did not know you well and know too whose guidance formed your character it would be hard to trust you
Anne Again the peculiar manner which sometimes appeared in him making him seem much older than his years had its strange influence with Miss Valery guiding her by an undercurrent deeper even than her judgment
Ay she said in a whisper I will trust you Let us go down And she turned with him to say goodbye to Miss Harper
The excitement of talking had been too much for poor Elizabeth One of her dark hours was upon her The eyes were closed and the face sharpened under keen physical pain Agatha could hardly bear to see her but Nathanael bent over his sister with that soothing kindness which in a man is so beautiful
Shall we stay with you at least shall I
Elizabeth motioned a decided negative
I know Miss Valery said apart she had rather be alone No one can do her good and it is too much for this child who is not used to it as we are
Calling Elizabeths maid from the inner room Anne hurried Agatha away She clinging to her husbands arm heard him say half to himself
And yet we think life hard and murmur at that we have and grieve for that we have not We are very wicked all of us Poor Elizabeth
The three went very silently downstairs
At the diningroom door Mrs Harper let go her husbands arm
Why are you leaving me Agatha
Because I thought—I imagined perhaps you wished—
I wish to have you with me always Anne knows and he looked pointedly at Miss Valery that I shall never respond to and most certainly never volunteer any confidence to either her or my father that I do not share with my wife She has the first claim and what is not hers no other person shall obtain
Anne looked puzzled At last she said in an under tone I think I understand and you are quite right I shall remember
The old Squire was sitting in his armchair the dessert and wine still before him The cheerfulness of the dinnercircle over he looked very aged now—aged and lonely too being the only occupant of that large room He raised his head when Miss Valery entered but seemed annoyed at the entrance of his daughterinlaw
Mrs Harper I did not mean to encroach on your leisure
No father it was I who wished her to come Forgive me but I could not bring Miss Valery into our family councils and exclude my own wife She is not a stranger now
Saying this Nathanael placed Agatha in a chair and stood beside her taking her cold hand for with all her power she could not keep herself from trembling She had never known anything of those formidable affairs which are called family quarrels
Now father he continued in a straightforward but respectful manner Anne will answer any question to prove what I have already told you—that it is at my own request she takes me for her steward
Her friend and adviser Anne interposed
I never doubted Nathanael that it was at your own request Otherwise it were impossible that Miss Valery would so far have insulted my family
At these words Anne coloured and moved a step or two with something of the pride of her young days I did not think Mr Harper that it would have been either an insult to offer or a disgrace to accept the position which your son desires to hold Far be it from me in any way to wrong any member of your family especially the son whom your wife left in my arms—and Brians—when she died
Agatha had never before heard Miss Valery say Brian She was evidently speaking as people do when much moved using a form of phrase and alluding to things not commonly referred to
The old Squire sat silent a minute and then stretched out his hand I know your goodness Anne But I cannot renounce all my rights Even a younger son must not throw discredit on his family Except in one brief instance for centuries there has never been a Harper who worked for his living
Then father let me be the first to commence that act of inconceivable boldness and energy said Nathanael with a goodhumoured persuasive smile Let me being likewise a younger son take a leaf out of Uncle Brians book and try to labour as he once did in my own county with the honour of my own race about me
And what did he effect Was he not looked down upon humiliated cheated I never ride past his old deserted claypits without being thankful that he went to Canada rather than have disgraced us by what his folly must have come to at last He would have lost the little he had—have been bankrupt perhaps dishonoured
Mr Harper—Anne rose from her chair—I think you speak rather hardly of your brother It never could be said or will be said that Brian Harper was dishonoured
At these words spoken with unusual warmth Nathanael gratefully clasped her hand The Squire observed with added dignity that no one could be more sensible than himself of his brothers merit and that he thanked Miss Valery for extending her kind interests to every branch of the Harper family
And now he continued we will cease this conversation My son knows my sentiments and will doubtless act upon them I never maintain arguments with my children And the sentence implied that what I never do was consequently a thing unnecessary and impossible to be done The old gentleman leant on each arm of his chair and feebly tried to rise
Father cried Nathanael detaining him I would do much rather than try you thus but it cannot be helped I must work
I do not see the necessity
But if there be a necessity if my own feelings my conscience—other reasons which here I cannot urge—and involuntarily his eye glanced towards his wife
An instinct of delicacy brightened the old mans perceptions He bowed to Agatha We need not apologise for these discussions before a lady who has done my son the honour of uniting her fortune to his ancient family And he evidently thought the honour bestowed was quite as much on the Harper side She I am sure will agree with me that this proceeding is not necessary
Agatha hesitated Much as she longed to do it a sense of right prevented her from openly siding against her husband She kept silence Nathanael answered with the tone of one who sets a strong guard upon his lips almost stronger than he can bear
I have already told my wife all the reasons I have just given you that since I am resolved to be independent there is no way but this I have been brought up abroad and have learnt no profession my health is not robust enough for a town life or for hard study Many almost all the usual modes in which a man born a gentleman can earn his living are thus shut out from me What Anne Valery offers me I can do and should be content in doing Father do not stand in the way of my winning for myself a little comfort—a little peace
Through his entreaty earnest and manly as it was there ran a sort of melancholy which surprised and grieved Agatha Could this be the lover on whom in giving him herself she believed she had bestowed entire felicity Had he too like herself found a something wanting in marriage a something to fill up which he must needs resort to an active career of worldly toil Would she never be able to make either him or herself truly happy and if so what was the cause
The Squire keenly regarded his son who stood before him in an attitude so respectful yet so firm Something seemed to strike him in the pale delicate womanish features perhaps he saw therein the wife who had died when Nathanael was born and whose death people said had chilled the fathers heart strangely against the poor babe
My son he said you have been away from me nearly all your life—and where I have given little I can require little But I am an old man Do not let me feel that you too are setting yourself against my grey hairs
God knows father I would not for worlds But what can I do Anne what can I do
Anne rose and leant over Mr Harpers chair like a privileged eldest daughter who secretly strengthened with her judgment the wisdom that was growing feeble through old age doing it reverently as we all would wish our children to do when our own light grows dim For alas the wisest and firmest of us may come one day to mutter in the ears of a younger generation the senile cry I am old and foolish—old and foolish
Dear friend—if Nathanael follows out this plan it will be for the comfort and not the disquiet of your grey hairs Think how pleasant always to have a son at hand and a young pretty Mrs Harper to brighten Kingcombe Holm
This was a wise thrust—the old gentleman looked in his daughterinlaws fair face and bowed complacently
Then too your son will live in the country lead the life that he loves and that you love—the very life which all these years you have been vainly planning for his brother
The Squire turned sharply round On that subject if you please we will be silent Anne Anne he added do you want again to turn my plans aside Would you take from me my other son also
She drew back much wounded
No no my dear I did not mean that It was not your fault—you two were not suited for each other Nevertheless in spite of your wilfulness in nothing but the name did I lose a daughter Forgive me Anne
My dear old friend she whispered and stole her fingers into the withered palm of the Squire He kissed them with the grace of an old courtier the tenderness of a father She though moved at his kindness betrayed no stronger emotion and Agatha who had watched intently this little episode confirmatory of an old suspicion of her own was considerably puzzled thereby If Anne Valerys life contained any sad secret it was evidently not this She had not remained an old maid for love of Major Harper
Nathanael said the old man returning with dignity to the former conversation I would not be harsh or unjust There is but one way to reconcile our opposing wills since you are determined on this scheme of independence You have told me your plan—will you accept mine
Let me hear it father answered Nathanael respectfully
You have hitherto had nothing from me—your Uncle Brian insisted on that—nor will you ever have much I must keep my property intact for the next heir of Kingcombe Holm Nothing shall alienate the rights of my eldest son with whom rests the honour of our family and name
Agatha noticing the determined pride with which her fatherinlaw said this wondered that her husband listened with a lowered aspect and made no response She thought it unbrotherly unkind
But continued Mr Harper though the chief of all I possess must remain secure for Frederick I have a little besides saved for my daughters portions If with their consent I lend you this and you will embark in some profession—
No father no I will never take one farthing from you or my sisters I will not again be burdened with other peoples property Oh for the days when I earned my own solitary bread from hand to mouth and was free and at rest
He spoke excitedly and was only conscious of the extent of what he had said by feeling his wifes hand drop slowly from his own
Nay Agatha I did not mean—and he tried to draw it back again Forgive me
Perhaps we have both need to forgive one another
No one heard this mournful whisper between the young husband and wife they stood as if it had not been uttered—for both their consciences felt duty to be a bond as strong as love
And then on the painful silence which sank over all four smote ten heavy strokes of the hallclock warning the swift passage of time—too swift to be wasted in struggle regret and contention Anne rose her pale face seeming to have that very thought written thereon
My dear friends listen to me a minute Here is one who all this time has not spoken a word and yet the question concerns her more than any of us Let Agatha decide
The old man hesitated Perhaps in his heart he was desirous of a compromise Or else he judged from ordinary human nature that the pride of the young wife would ally her on his side and so win over a will which any father looking into Nathanaels face could see was not to be threatened into concession
Pas aux dames said Mr Harper with a pleasantly chivalric air Then more seriously My daughterinlaw choose But remember that you stand between your husband and his father
Agatha thrust into so new and important a position felt a rush of temptations to follow her own impulse She turned appealingly to Miss Valery but Annes eyes were fixed on the floor She looked at her husband and met a gaze of doubt anxiety mingled with a certain desperation
He knows my feeling about this matter perhaps he thinks me a wilful child ready to take advantage of the liberty given me He is sure of what I shall say
And she had half a mind to say it as a condemnation for his so unkindly judging her but the girlish pettishness and recklessness went away and a better spirit came She sat her right hand nervously pushing backward and forward the still unfamiliar weddingring until in accidentally feeling the symbol she suddenly remembered the reality
I am a wife she thought Under all circumstances I will do a wifes duty And with that determination all the pleasant little follies and temptations buzzing round her heart flew away and left her—as one always is having resolved to consider the right and nothing else—resolute and at ease
She said very simply—almost childishly—taking her fatherinlaws hand the while If you please and if you would not be angry I would rather do exactly as my husband likes He knows best
In these words she had exhausted all her boldness and for a few minutes after had a very indistinct notion of everything save that the Squire had walked off not angrily but in perfect silence leaning on Miss Valerys arm and that she was left in the diningroom alone with Nathanael
CHAPTER XVI
So here is the result of family dinnerparties and familytalks kept up till midnight said Mary Harper with a little natural acerbity It is provoking for the mistress of a precise household to sit waiting breakfast for a whole hour
Mary be charitable We did not know you were ready and we were so busy in my room No laziness was it Agatha
No indeed I think Miss Valery is the very busiest woman I ever knew How can she get through it all
Only by first making up my mind and then acting upon it Your husbands plan too I see He and I shall get on as if we had worked together all our lives Shall we not my righthand Nathanael
He answered pleasantly he looked quite a new man this morning Yes I seem to understand your ways already My first halfhours business in the memorable Annes room at Kingcombe Holm has been like a return of old times What a woman you are You might have been brought up as I was by Uncle Brian You have just his ways
Anne smiled and with a jest about the treble compliment he had contrived to pay let the conversation slip past to other things
Mary and Eulalie talked excessively They were both much scandalised by their brothers new position and intended course of life to be put in practice immediately
Both the Miss Harpers were that sort of feminine minds which are like some kinds of flowerbells—the less fair the wider they open Agatha wondered to see how very patient Miss Valery was over Marys mild platitudes and Eulalies follies But Annes good heart seemed to cast a shield of tenderness over everybody that bore the name of Harper At length the young wife got tired of the afterbreakfast discussion which consisted of about a dozen different plans for the day—severally put up and knocked down again—each contradicting the other The mild laissezfaire of country life in a large family was quite too much for her patience she longed to get up and shake everybody into commonsense and decision But her husband and Miss Valery took everything easily—they were used to the ways at Kingcombe Holm
Oh if your sister Harriet would but come in or Mr Dugdale she whispered to her husband surely they would settle something
Not at all they would only make matters worse And look—speaking of angels one often sees their wings—Is that you Marmaduke
Ay
Mr Dugdale walked in composedly through the sashwindow beaming around him a sort of general smile He never attempted any individual greeting and Agatha offering her hand was met by his surprised but benevolent Eh However when required he gave her a hearty grasp After which peering dreamily round the room he pounced upon a queerlooking folio and buried himself therein making occasional remarks highly interesting of their kind but slightly irrelevant to the conversation in general Agatha amused herself with peeping at the title of the book—some abstruse work on mechanical science—and then watched the reader thinking what great intellectual power there was in the head and what acuteness in the eye Also he wore at times a wonderfully spiritual expression strangely contrasting with the materiality of his daily existence No one could see that look without feeling convinced that there were beautiful depths open only to Divinest vision in the silent and abstracted nature of Marmaduke Dugdale Nevertheless he could be eminently practical now and then especially in mechanics
Nathanael Nathanael just look here This is the very contrivance that would have suited Brian in his old claypits See
And he began talking in a style that was Greek itself to Agatha but to which Nathanael leaning over his chairback listened intelligently It was very nice to see the liking between the two brothersinlaw—the young man so tender over the oddities of the elder one who seemed such a strange mixture of the philosopher and the child These were the sort of traits which continually turned Agathas heart towards her husband
Talking of claypits said Duke with a gleam of recollection Ive something for you here He drew out of the voluminous mass of papers that stuffed his pockets one more carelessly scrawled than the rest Its a plan of my own for giving a little help to our own claycutters and to the stonecutters in the Isle of Portland who are shockingly off in the winter sometimes Heres Trenchards name down for a good sum—it will make him and Freetrade popular you know
And Mr Dugdale smiled with the most amiable and innocent Machiavellianism
Nathanael shook his head mischievously greatly to the amusement of his wife who had stolen up to see what was going on and stood hanging on his arm and peeping over at the illegible paper
Excellent plan Marmaduke—very longheaded You give them Christmas dinners and they give you—votes
Bless you no That would be bribery We—he reflected a minute—Oh we will only help those who have got no votes
Then the voters will all be against you
Mr Dugdale much puzzled pushed up his hair until it stood right aloft on his forehead Soon a dawn of satisfaction reappeared All against us Dear me no They would be pleased to see their poor neighbours helped on in the world as you or I would you know Theyd side at once with Trenchard and Freetrade Come now Nathanael youll assist By the way somebody told me you were very rich—or at least that your wife was an heiress She looks a kind little soul Shell put her name down under Anne Valerys here
And he turned to Agatha with that air of frank goodness by which Marmaduke Dugdale could coax everybody round to his own ends
Ay that we will though I suppose I am not so rich as Miss Valery Still we have enough to help poor people—have we not
She appealed gaily to Mr Harper but he replied nothing She persisted
We need not give much since Mr Trenchard and Miss Valery are both on the list before us Well give—let me see—fifty pounds Ah now just go upstairs and fetch me down fifty pounds said she hanging caressingly on her husbands arm
He looked down on her and looked away He had become very grave We will talk of this some other time dear
But another time will not do I want it now I fear she whispered blushing—I fear before I married I was very thoughtless and selfish I would like to cure myself and spend my money usefully as Anne Valery does Charity is such a luxury
Too dear a luxury for every one said Nathanael sighing
She looked up scarcely believing him to be in earnest Her openhearted openhanded nature was much hurt She said with a bitter meaning
I did not know I had such a very prudent husband
He took no notice but addressed himself to Mr Dugdale Nay Duke you and your benevolences are too hard upon us young married people We must tighten our pursestrings against you this time
Agathas cheek flamed But if I wish it—
Dear it cannot be we cannot afford it
Agatha moved angrily from his side and soon after though not so soon as to attract notice to him or herself she quitted the room Scarcely had she reached her own when she heard a step behind her
Are you angry with me my wife and for such a little thing
Nathanael stood there holding both her hands and looking down upon her with a face so kind so regretful so grave that she felt ashamed of the quick storm which had ruffled her own spirit The cause of this did seem now a very little thing She hung her head childlike and made no answer
Why is it said Mr Harper putting his arm round her—why is it that we are always having these little things rising up to trouble us Why cannot we bear with one another and take the chancehappiness that falls to our lot It is not much I fear—
She looked uneasy
Nay perhaps that is chiefly my fault I often wish Heaven had given you a better husband Agatha
And his countenance was so softened mournful and tender that Agathas affection returned There was something childish and foolish in these small wranglings They wore her patience away For the twentieth time she vowed not to make herself unhappy or restless or cross but to take Nathanaels goodness as she saw it believing in it and him Since according to that wise speech of Harriet—which even Anne Valery smiled at and did not deny—the best of men were very disagreeable at times and no mans good qualities ever came out thoroughly until he had been married for at least a year
With a tear in her eye and a quiver on her lip Agatha held up her young face to her husband He kissed her and there was peace
But though he had made this concession and made many others in the course of the next hour to remove from her mind every thought of pain still he showed not the slightest change of will regarding the cause of dispute And perhaps in her secret heart this only caused his wife to respect him the more It is usually the weak and erring who vacillate Firmness of purpose mildly carried out implies a true motive at the root Agatha began to think whether her husband might not have some reason for his conduct probably the very simple one of disliking to see his name or her own paraded in a subscriptionlist or mixed up with a political clique
Nevertheless he puzzled her She could not think why with all his tenderness he so often put his will in opposition to her own and prevented her pleasure why he was so slow in giving her his confidence why he more than once plainly stated that there was a reason for various disagreeable whims yet had not told her what that reason was All these were trivial things—yet in the early sunrise of married life the least molehill throws a long black shadow
I will be a wise woman I will not disquiet myself in vain said the little wife to herself as her husband left her in answer to repeated calls from some feminine voice which had just entered the house and was immediately audible half over it Harriet Dugdales of course To her—sharpsighted and merrytongued woman that she was—Agatha would not for worlds have betrayed anything so dashing cold water on her forehead to hide the very near approach to tears she quickly descended
Harrie was in a state of considerable indignation mixed with laughter I never knew such people as you are and certainly never was there the like of my Duke there He set off to fetch you all to Corfe Castle—his own proposition I waited an hour and a half—then I took the pony to see after you—and lo—there he is sitting quite at his ease Oh Duke—Duke
She shook her ridingwhip at him twice before she disturbed him from his book
Eh Missus—what doee want my child
Want Dont you see what a passion were all in Abuse him Anne—Agatha—Nathanael Do Ive no patience with him Didnt he say himself that he would take us all to Corfe Castle Oh you—you—— And Harrie looked unutterable things
Mr Dugdale gazed round placidly Really now thats a pity Never mind Missus I only forgot And patting her hand with ineffable gentleness and goodhumour he opened his book again
Oh you—you—here she put on a melodramatic scowl—you inconceivably provoking misty oblivious incomprehensible old darling
And springing upon the back of his chair Harrie hugged him to a degree that compelled the unfortunate philosopher to renounce his book He took the caresses very patiently and smiled with superior love upon his merry wife
Thatll do Missus Eh—and before folk too Now dontee my child
And shaking himself hair and all into something like order he picked up the folio tucked it under his arm and wended his way through the window slowly down the lawn
Agatha glanced at her husband who stood talking to Miss Valery She wondered what Nathanael would say if she were to take a leaf out of his sisters book and treat her own liege lord after the unceremonious fashion of Harrie Dugdale
There—off he goes quite cross no doubt He was smiling as benevolently as if he could embrace the whole world But we must catch him at the stables I brought Whitestar galloping after me and Duke will rouse up when he sees his beloved horse You shall take my pony Agatha Of course you can ride
Agatha could—in a London ridingschool and London parks She had her doubts about the country but felt strongly inclined to try for Mrs Dugdale had entered Kingcombe Holm like a breath of keen fresh air putting life and spirit into everybody Nathanael made no opposition only he insisted on Marys quiet grey mare being substituted for Harries skittish pony
I shall ride with you part way said he and then leave you in Mr Dugdales charge while I stay at Kingcombe
Why so
I have business there
Still the same weary business which he never explained or talked about yet which always seemed to rise up like a bugbear on their pleasures until Agatha was sick of the sound of the word
She turned away and put herself altogether under Mrs Dugdales care to be equipped for the ride
Anne Valery coming in with her quiet common sense succeeded in making up the party which with one exception Harrie had left to make itself up according to its own discretion When Mrs Harper descended she found all settled for the spending of a day at Corfe Castle in picnic style—glorious and free—with a moonlight canter home in the evening No one was omitted except the Squire who with considerable dignity declined such al fresco amusements and Anne Valery who promised to peep in upon them as she passed the Castle on her way to her own house after spending a few hours with Elizabeth
Agatha had never been on horseback since she was married It made her feel like a girl again and brought back all the wild spirits of her youth now repressed in propriety by her changed life—until sometimes she hardly knew herself or fancied she was growing into that object of her former scorn an ordinary young lady She cast the subdued and meek Mrs Locke Harper to the winds and dashed wildly back for this day at least into Agatha Bowen
Her husband putting her on her horse with many injunctions was surprised to see her give him a careless nod and dart off delightedly as if she and the grey mare had wings The Dugdales followed a wild pair for Marmaduke was quite another being on horseback
Look at him Agatha—and Harries laugh ringing on the wind caused the mild grey mare to seem rather restless in her mind Did you think my Duke could ride as he does He never looks so well as on horseback He is a perfect Thessalian
Agatha was amused to find classic lore in Harrie Dugdale and she gave most cordial admiration to Duke He is a magnificent rider he sits the horse just as if he were born to it
Bless him so he was He rode his fathers horses at four years old and went hunting at fourteen And he has such a beautiful temper and such a firm will besides—that he could manage the wildest brute in the county See there
Whitestar had become rather obstreperous showing his spirit his master carelessly lent down giving him a box on each ear just as if the stately blood horse had been a naughty child then composedly rode him back to the two ladies
Harrie Missus doee come on Nathanael is behind all right Come along
He gave his wifes pony a switch and off they dashed she laughing merrily and he galloping away with such ease and grace that Agatha could not take her eyes off him
She looked after them with a vague sense of envy—this odd married pair in whose union so many things appeared unequal and peculiar except for one thing—the love which hallowed and perfected all When her own husband came up she unwilling to talk and dreading above all that his quick eye should detect anything amiss in her pushed her horse forward and calling to Nathanael to follow rode on after the Dugdales
Ere they had ridden far all her wild spirits came back again and all her wifely feelings too for her husband seemed as happy as herself and entered into all her frolics They swept along like two children across the breezy moors purple and fragrant down by the hilly sheeppaths lying bare in autumn sunshine Nathanael proved himself almost as good a horseman as Duke Dugdale a great pleasure to Agatha for of all things women do like a man to be manly Nay once in the descent of a hill so steep that a Cockney equestrian would have been frightened out of his seven senses Nathanaels prudent daring stood out in such bold relief that Agatha was perforce reminded of the day when he snatched little Jemmie from the bear the first day when her liking and respect had been awakened towards him She hinted this and said how pleasant it was to feel that ones husband was as she expressed it a man that could take care of one
And how very foolish and helpless townfolk—drawingroom gentlemen appear in the country I wonder and she could not help telling him the comical idea though not very complimentary to her husbands brother—I wonder how Major Harper would look on horseback
What did you say The wind blew that sentence away
She hardly liked to repeat it exactly but said something about Major Harper and his coming down to Dorset
Nathanael spurred his horse forward without replying A minute afterwards he returned to his wifes side bringing her a great bunch of heather with yellow gorse mixed and made jokes about the Dorsetshire saying When gorse is out of bloom kissings out of season And evermore he looked secretly at her to notice if she laughed and was happy had roses on her cheeks and pleasure in her eyes Seeing this the husband appeared contented and at ease
They and the Dugdales rode merrily into Kingcombe much to that good towns astonishment The equestrian quartette at Marmadukes door was a sight that the worthy inhabitants of that sleepy street would not get over for a week Everybody gathered at doors and windows and a small group of farmers at the market quadrangle stared with all their eyes The sensation created was enormous and likewise the crowd—almost as dense as a wandering juggler gathers in a quiet suburban London street Agatha passing through it laughed till she could laugh no longer
Her husband pleased at her gaiety came to lift her off her horse
Not a bit of it Mrs Dugdale cried Keep your seat Agatha no time to lose on we go in a minute when Duke has been to get his letters Here Brian my pet—There had rushed out round her horse a cluster of infantine Dugdales—Lift Brian up here Uncle Nathanael and Ill give him a canter Bravo Hes Pas own boy born for a rider Come along Auntie Agatha
Agatha would willingly have followed down the street She was amused by the daring of the mother and the boy and amused especially by her new title of Auntie Agatha
Do let me go Mr Harper I dont want to dismount indeed
But I have something to say to you—just a few words We must decide today about the house you know
Never mind the house I had rather not think about it And the mere shadow of past vexation still vexed her Ah she added entreatingly do be good to me—do let me enjoy myself for once
I would not prevent you for the world He dropped her bridle with a sigh and turned back among his little nephews
Fred had coaxed the horse from the groom and Gus was bent on mounting there was a dreadful struggle and angry cries for Uncle Nathanael In the midst of it Uncle Nathanael appeared like an angel of peace and setting the boys one behind another on his horses back led the animal up and down carefully
Agatha looked after them thinking how kind and good her husband was She wished she had not refused so hastily such a simple request she began to think herself a wretch for ever contradicting him in anything
The little party started again increased by the arrival of the family carriage from Kingcombe Holm wherein sat Mary and Eulalie To these were speedily added the three young Dugdales all in high glee And it spoke well for the Miss Harpers whom Agatha was disposed to like least of her husbands relatives that they made very lenient and kindly aunts to those obstreperous boys
Agatha was crossing the bridge which bounded South Street trying to make her horse stand still while Mr Dugdale pointed out the identical red cliff where the Danes drew up their ships and laughing with Harrie at the notion of how terribly frightened the quiet souls in Kingcombe would be at such an incursion now when Nathanael came on foot to his wifes side
Why did you start without speaking to me
I could not help it I thought you were gone You will come after us soon And she felt angry with herself for having momentarily forgotten him
I will come when I have settled this business of the house You understand Agatha I am obliged to decide today You will not blame me afterwards
Oh no—no His extreme seriousness of manner jarred with her youthful spirits She did not think or care about what he did so that for this day only he let her be gay and happy From some incomprehensible cause his very love seemed to hang over her like a cloud and so it had been from the beginning She did so long to dash out into the sunshine of her careless girlish life and scamper over the beautiful country with Harrie Dugdale
Oh no she repeated only wishing to satisfy him Take any house you like and come onward soon and oh do let us be cheerful and merry
We will His bright look as she patted his shoulder—a very venturesome act—gave her much cheer and when after she had cantered a good way down the road she turned and saw him still leaning on the bridge looking after her her heart throbbed with pleasure Despite all his reserves and peculiarities and her own conscious failings there was one thing to which she clung as to a root of comfort that would never be taken away and would surely bear blossom and fruit afterwards—the belief that her husband truly loved her
On Horseback P212
If so she thought I suppose all will come right in time and Agatha Harper will be as happy as or happier than Agatha Bowen
So on she went yielding to the delicious excitement of being on horseback She was also much interested by the country round about which appeared to her as old desolate and strange as if she had been a Thanes daughter riding across the moors to the gates of that renowned castle which as Harrie declared putting on the physiognomy of some schoolchild drawling out a historylesson was celebrated for being the residence of the ancient Saxon kings
And this was the place continued she in the same tone pointing to an old gatepost—this was the place where His Majestys most illustrious horse did stop when His Majestys most sainted body was dragged along by the leg in the stirrup on account of the wound given him when he was adrinking at the castledoor by his stepmother Queen Elfrida All of which is to be seen to the present day
Agatha first laughed at this comical view of the subject then she felt a little repugnance at hearing that stern old tragedy so lightly treated As she walked her horse along the road which might have been and probably was the very same Saxon highway as in those times she thought of the wounded horseman dashing out from between those green hills and of the murdered body dropping slowly slowly from the saddle dragged in dust and beat against stones until the woman that loved him—for even a king might have had some woman that loved him—would not have known the face she thought so fair
It was an idle fancy but beneath it her tears were rising chiefly for thinking not of The Martyr but of the woman—whoever she was—Agatha had not historical erudition enough to remember if King Edward had a wife—to whom that days tragedy might have brought a lifetimes doom She began to shudder—to feel that she too was a wife—to understand dimly what a wifes love might come to be—also something of a wifes terrors She wished—it was foolish enough but she did wish that Nathanael had not been riding on horseback or else that in picturing to herself the dead head of the Martyr dragged along the road she did not always see it with long fair hair And then she wondered if these horrible fancies indicated the dawning of that feeling which she had deceived herself into believing she already possessed Was she beginning to find out the difference between that quiet response to secured affection that pleasant knowledge of being loved and the strong engrossing selfexistent attachment which Anne Valery described—the passion which has but one object one interest one joy in the whole wide world
Was she beginning really to love her husband
The answer to that question involved so much both of what had been and what was yet to come that Agatha dared not ponder over it
Mrs Harper Mrs Harper She mused no longer but hurried on after the Dugdales
It was not to point out the Castle that Harrie had been so vociferous but to show a place which she evidently deemed far more interesting
Do you see that white house far among the trees Thats where my Duke was born He lived there in peace and quietness till he got acquainted with Uncle Brian and came to Kingcombe Holm and fell in love with me
How did he do it I want to know what is the fashion of such things in Dorset
How did Duke fall in love with me Really I cant tell I was fifteen or so—a mere baby He first gave me a doll and then he wanted to marry me
But how did he make love or propose as they call it persisted Agatha to whom the idea of Marmaduke Dugdale in that character was irresistibly funny
Make love Propose Bless you my dear he never did either Somehow it all came quite naturally We belonged to one another
The very phrase Anne Valery had used It made Nathanaels wife rather thoughtful She wondered what was the feeling like when people belonged to one another
But she had no time for meditation for now the great grey ruin loomed in sight and everybody including the shouting boys in the carriage behind was eager to point it out especially when Agatha made the lamentable confession that she had never seen a ruined castle in her life before
And you might go all over England and not find such another as this said Mr Dugdale riding up to her with a smile of great satisfaction Nobody thinks much of it in these parts and few antiquarians ever come and poke about it Perhaps its as well They couldnt find out more than we know already But no—and his eye taking in the noble old ruin arched over by the broad sky assumed its peculiar dreamy expression—We dont know anything Nobody knows anything about this wonderful world
Agatha looked around On the top of a smooth conical hill each side of which was guarded by other two hills equally smooth and bare rose the wreck of the magnificent fortress enough of the walls remaining to show its extent and plan Its destroyer had been—not Father Time who does his work quietly and gracefully—but that worse spoiler man Huge masses of masonry hurled from the summit lay in the moat beneath fixed as they had been for centuries with vegetation growing over them Some of the walls undermined and shaken from their foundations took strange oblique angles yet refused to fall Marks of cannonballs were indented on the stonework of the battered gateway which still remained a gateway—probably the very same under which Queen Elfrida fair and false had offered to her son the stirrupcup
The general impression left on the mind was not that of natural decay solemn and holy but of sudden destruction coming unawares and struggled against as a man in the flower of life struggles with mortality There was something very melancholy about the ruined fortress left on the hilltop in sight of the little town close below where its desolation was unheeded Agatha sensitive enthusiastic and easily impressed grew silent and wondered that her companions could laugh so carelessly even when passing under the grey portal into the very precincts of the deserted castle
We shall not find a soul here said Harrie scarcely anybody ever comes at this season except when our Kingcombe Oddfellows Club have a picnic on this bowlinggreen or schoolboys get together and climb up the ivy to frighten the jackdaws—my husband has done it many a time—havent you Duke
I see mamma vaguely responded Duke who was busy lifting his boys down from the carriage with a paternal care and tenderness beautiful to see He then with one little fellow on his shoulder another holding his hand and a third clinging to his coattails strode off up the green ascent without paying the slightest attention to Mrs Harper Which dereliction from the rules of politeness it never once came into her mind to notice or to blame
There they go Nobody minds me its all Pa said Mrs Dugdale with an assumption of wrath a very miserable pretence while her look was so happy and fond You see Agatha what youll come to—after ten years matrimony
Agathas heart was so full she could not laugh but sighed yet it was not with unhappiness
He and Harrie wandered over the castle together for the two Miss Harpers did not approve of climbing The little boys and Pa reappeared now and then at all sorts of improbable and terrifically dangerous corners and occasionally Mrs Dugdale made frantic darts after them Especially when they were all seen standing on one of the topmost precipices the father giving a practical scientific lesson on the momentum of falling bodies in illustration of which Harrie declared he would certainly throw little Brian out of his arms in a fit of absence of mind thoroughly believing the child was a stone
At last when their excitement had fairly worn itself out and even Mrs Dugdales energetic liveliness had come to a dead stop in consequence of a fit of sleepiness and crossness on the part of Brian—Agatha roamed about the old castle by herself creeping into all the queer nooks with a childish pleasure mounting impassable walls so as to find the highest point of view She always had a great delight in climbing and in feeling herself at the top of everything
It was such a strange afternoon too grey soft warm the sun having long gone in and left an atmosphere of pleasant cloudiness tender and dim the shadowing over of a fading day which nevertheless foretells no rain but often indicates a beautiful day tomorrow Somehow or other it made Agatha think of Miss Valery nor was she surprised when as suddenly as if she had dropped out of the sky Anne was seen approaching
Let me help you up these stones How good of you to come and how tired you seem
Oh no I shall be rested in a minute But I am not quite so young as you my dear
She came up and leaned against the ivywall that Agatha had climbed which was on the opposite side of the hill to the bowlinggreen the gatheringspot of the little party It was a nook of thorough solitude and desolation nothing being visible from it but the widely extended flat of country looking seaward though the sea itself was not in view
Why did you climb so high said Agatha as earnestly regarding her friend she perceived more than ever before the difference in their years and felt strongly tempted to wrap her strong young arms round Miss Valerys waist and support her with even a daughters care
I shall be well presently Anne repeated with cheerfulness I have not climbed up to this spot for many years I thought I would like to come here once again
She sat down on a flat stone raised upon two others
What a comfortable seat It might have been made on purpose for you
So it was—long ago No one has disturbed it since Come my dear
She drew Agatha beside her—there was just room for two and they sat in silence looking at the view except that Agatha sometimes cast her eyes about rather restlessly It was a magical answer to her thoughts when Anne observed
I met your husband as I drove through Kingcombe He desired me to tell you he was detained a little but would be here ere long How very thoughtful and good he is
Agatha said Yes—a mere Yes quiet and low
Miss Valery made no further remark but sat a long time absently gazing over the lowlying sweep of country which gradually melted into a greyness that looked like sea
Is it the sea asked Mrs Harper
No it lies yonder behind the hill opposite—where there is the smoke of the furze burning From that spot I should think one could trace the line of coast almost to Weymouth Do you remember ever seeing Weymouth
No how could I returned Agatha surprised by the suddenness of the question and its form I never was in Dorsetshire before
Anne said something either in jest or earnest about ones often fancying one has seen places in a previous existence and changed the theme by pointing out the view on the other hand My house Thornhurst lies in that direction You must come and see me soon and we will talk more pleasantly than I can do today It is so strange to be sitting here with Mrs Locke Harper
Why so What makes you so often call me by that name
Only a whim I have But is it not a good name—a beautiful name Ah you child—you poor little one To think of you becoming Mrs Locke Harper
There was a pathos—a kind of tender retrospection in Anne Valerys manner as she touched the brown curls and smoothed the neat dress which—riding hat and skirt having been laid aside or tucked up—made a pretty mountainmaiden out of Nathanaels wife Agatha never could understand the peculiar fondness with which Miss Valery sometimes regarded her—today especially She seemed constantly on the point of saying something—which she never did say At last she rose from the stone seat
We will talk another day We must go now Yet she lingered Just let us stand here in this exact spot and look at the view She looked—her eyes absorbing it from every point as one drinks in for the last time a longfamiliar draught of landscape beauty My dear
The whisper was strangely soft—even solemn
You will remember dear it was I that brought you here first Youll come here sometimes will you not
Oh very often indeed It is a delicious place
I thought so when I was your age And youll not forget the stone seat Agatha I hope no one will disturb it Goodbye poor old stone
Saying this in a whisper she stooped and patted it with her hand—the thin white hand that might once have been so round pretty and young The act natural even to childishness might have made Agatha smile but for a certain something about Miss Valery that invested with dignity even her simplicities So merely echoing Goodbye old stone she followed Anne down the slope
After a loudlamenting adieu especially from the Dugdale boys Miss Valery mounted her little carriage and drove away into the gathering shadow—Agatha knew not where
What a good woman she is I wish we were all like her she said thoughtfully
My dear nobody can be especially with a husband and four children It is a blessing to society in general that Anne Valery never married
But people do marry late in life sometimes So may she Do you think she will
Cant say Dont know Very mysterious ejaculated Harrie My brother Fred once hinted—and Fred was a very fascinating young fellow when I was a child—But all that belongs to the year One Ill hold my tongue
Agatha had too much delicacy to inquire further Still it seemed very odd that there should be a general impression of Annes early attachment to Major Harper in contradistinction to the old Squires regretful hint that she had refused his eldest son But these scraps of romance so far back in the past were useless searching
An excellent woman is Anne Valery continued Harrie—really excellent but sometimes rather a bore to her friends who have families My Duke often forgets he has four children to provide for when he listens to her charitable schemes Twas but the other day he and she were mad about some starving Cornish miners that she sent poor Mr Wilson to look after
Ah I remember cried Agatha now interested in things which she had before heard indifferently She was thirsting for some opportunity of doing good—of redeeming the long waste of idle years and unemployed fortune Do tell me about those miners
Little to tell my dear Only philanthropic ideas about helping poor wretches that had been thrown out of work by some cheating speculators shutting up the mines Anne sent Wilson to find out who the man was and what could be done After that I never heard any more of it nor did my husband either—Stop—dont run and question him For goodness sake let the nonsense drop out of his poor dear head
Agatha thus rebuffed ceased her inquiries but she inwardly resolved to find out all about the Cornish miners and consult with her husband about assisting them He could not object to this good deed—it should be done as privately as ever he liked—she would take care not even to make mention of it before anybody as in the matter of the subscription And surely though he was strange and had his peculiar notions Nathanael was generous at heart and would not thwart her in anything really essential especially when she only wished to follow in the steps of Anne Valery and use worthily her large fortune
With these thoughts elevating and cheering her mind she sat and watched for her husband until he came She was so glad to see him that she quite forgot to inquire about the house He seemed at first expectant of her questions and rather grave but at last gave himself up to the general merry mood
Once only when they were riding homeward side by side the fading sunset before them and the low moon hiding herself behind the great black hill of Corfe Nathanael suddenly said
My dear Agatha perhaps you would like me to tell you—
No she cried with a quick instinct of reluctance Tell me nothing tonight Let us be happy for this one day
Her husband sighed and was silent
CHAPTER XVII
Agatha will you come out and walk with me
Do you not see it is raining
He had not indeed though he had stood at the window in meditation ever since breakfasttime As for Agatha she had been so tired with her excursion the previous day that she had done nothing but sleep and had scarcely opened her lips to her husband or to any one Now on this rainy day she felt the reaction of her high spirits—was dull dreamy wished her husband would come and talk to her and make a baby of her She could not think why he stood at that odious window pondering counting raindrops apparently and then made the unaccountable proposition of a walk
Raining is it He looked up at the murky sky What a change from last night
I did not know you were so subject to elemental influences
We all are more or less but I was just then thinking about other things than what I spoke of My dear wife I want to talk to you very much Where shall we go so as not to be interrupted
Anywhere you like said she resigning herself to her fate and to a long argument which she supposed was about the new house She did not remember about it clearly but she had a floating suspicion that Nathanael was determined to settle the matter soon and that she should have a hard struggle between the pretty house she liked and Mr Wilsons cottage which her husband so unaccountably preferred This was a matter in which she could not yield come what might Therefore the anywhere you like was in rather an ungracious manner He seemed determined not to observe this
Suppose we go into the conservatory—you have never seen it But put on something to keep you warm
He wrapped Marys crimson gardenshawl over her head—clumsily enough for Mr Harper was not a ladies man his whole character and habits of life being in curious opposition to the extreme delicacy which Nature had externally stamped upon his appearance Pausing he held his wife at arms length gazing at her admiringly
Will that do What a gipsy you look with your red shawl and brown face
Pawneeface you know Do you remember how you once called me so and how your brother—
Come let us go he said abruptly and hurried her through the drawingrooms Agatha was rather hurt that his aspect should change so cloudily and that he should thus quench her little reminiscences of courtshipdays so dear to every happy wife and gradually becoming dearer even to herself As they entered the conservatory she shivered with an uncomfortable sense of gloom
What a large bare place Even the vines look cheerless—and where have they put all the flowers What a shame to send them away and turn it into a billiardroom
It was done years ago to please—my brother—Agatha was amazed at the hard tone of that tender fraternal word—so can the sense of words alter in the saying—and my father will not have it removed
He must have been very fond of your brother said Agatha as with a womans natural leaning to the injured side she thought of Major Harper—his gaiety and his goodnature She wondered why Nathanael was so rigid and cold in his forced and rare mentioning of his brothers name As she pondered her eyes took a serious shadow in their depths
What are you thinking about Agatha
The suddenness of the question—the consciousness that she might vex Nathanael did she answer it—made her hesitate blushing vividly—nay painfully
No dont tell me I want to hear nothing nothing Agatha I have before told you so Do not be afraid
How strange you are What should I be afraid of
Nothing Forget I said anything You are my wife now—mine—mine and for a moment he pressed her hand tightly In time—he relinquished his hold with a sad smile—in time Agatha I hope we shall become used to one another perhaps even grow into a contented sedate married couple
Do you think so Alas far more than this had been her thought—the thought which had dawned when she paused shuddering over the tale of King Edward the Martyr and the woman that loved him—the dim hope daily rising of an Eden not altogether lost even though she had married so rashly and blindly—a hope that this might have been only the burying of her foolish girlish dream of love which must needs die in order to be raised up again in a different form and in a new existence
Somewhat heavyhearted Agatha sat down on a raised bench that looked down on the battered and decaying billiardtable listening to the rain that pattered on the glass roof above the vineleaves—wondering how old were the raggedlooking flowerless fruitless orangetrees that were ranged on either side the only other specimens of vegetation left Evidently nobody at Kingcombe Holm cared much for flowers
I think we will quit this dull place You do not seem to like it Agatha
Oh yes I like it well enough I like the rain falling falling and the vinebranches crushing themselves against the panes Theyll never ripen never—poor things They are dying for sun and it will not—will not shine
Agatha what do you mean
I dont clearly know what I mean Never mind Talk to me about—whatever it was that you brought me to unfold Be quick—I have not a large stock of patience you know of old
Do not laugh for I am serious I wanted to talk to you about our new house
Our new house Where and what like is it to be I wonder
Do you not recollect
No the two we looked at would not do said Agatha determinedly She guessed what was coming—that the discussion about Wilsons cottage which Nathanael seemed so to have set his heart upon was about to be renewed But she would never consent to that—never The house I liked you did not approve of she continued observing her husbands silence The other I could not think of for a moment
But supposing there was no alternative since we must settle at once
This is the first time you have condescended to inform me of that necessity
If he went on taking no notice of her sharp speech but speaking with the extreme gentleness of one who himself feels tenfold the pain he is compelled to inflict—if as I told you yesterday we ought to form our plans immediately and since Kingcombe being such a small place there is at present no choice left us but those two houses—
Build one We are rich enough
Not quite His eyes dropped almost like those of guilt After a pause he cried out violently
Agatha a secret at ones heart is ten times worse to the keeper of it than it can be to any one else Have pity for me have patience with me just for a little while
What are you talking about What have you done
Nothing said he Nothing to harm your peace my little wife Believe me I have committed no greater crime than—
Well
Than having taken Wilsons cottage
He tried by smiling to teach her to make light of it—perhaps because it was a thing so light to him But Agatha was enraged beyond endurance
You have absolutely taken it—that mean wretched hovel that I told you I hated—taken it secretly without my knowledge or consent
You mistake there I told you we were obliged to decide yesterday you were unwilling to consult with me and at last—do you remember you left the decision in my hands I merely believed your own words and knowing the necessity of acting upon them did so I cannot think I was wrong
Oh no Not at all cried Agatha laughing wildly It was only like you—underhanded in stealing my few pleasures—very frank and open when you can rule Never honest or candid with me except to my punishment A kind generous husband truly
These and a torrent more of bitter words she poured out She never knew till now the passion the galling sarcasm there was in her nature She felt a longing to hate—a wish to wound Every time she looked at her husband there seemed a demon rising up within her—that demon which lurks strangely enough in the hearts closest and tenderest depths
Cannot you speak she cried going up to him Anything is better than that wicked silence Speak
Agatha
No—Ill not hear you See what you have done—how you have made me disgrace myself and she almost sobbed—Never in my life was I in a passion before
Is it my fault then said he mournfully
Yes yours It is you who stir up all these bad feelings in me I was a good girl a happy girl before you married me
Was it so Then you shall be held blameless Poor child—poor child
His unutterable regret his entire prostration stung her to the heart and silenced her for the moment but speedily she burst out again
You call me a child—so perhaps I am in years but you should have thought of that before You married me and made me a woman You took away my gay childish heart and yet in all humiliating things you still treat me like a child
Do I He answered mechanically out of thoughts that lay deep down far below the surface of his wifes bitter words These last awoke in him not one ray of anger—not even when at last in a fit of uncontrollable petulance she tore his hand from before his eyes bidding him look at her—if he dared
Yes I dare And the look she courted arose steady sorrowful like that of a man who turns his eyes upward hopeless yet faithful out of a wrecked ship Whatever has been or may come God knows that from the first I did love you Agatha
Wherefore had he used the word did Why could she not smother down the unwonted pang the new craving Or rather why could she not throw herself in his arms and cry out Do you love me—do you love me now Pride—pride only—the restless wild nature upon which his reserve fell like water upon fire without the blending spirit of conscious love which often makes two opposite temperaments result in closest union
Nevertheless she was somewhat soothed and began to compress the mass of imaginary wrongs into the one little wrong which had originated it all
What made you take a liking to that miserable house I hate small rooms—I cannot breathe in them—I have never been used to a little house Why must I now I am not going to be extravagant—nobody could be if they tried in a poor place like Kingcombe Since you will insist on our living there and will carry out your cruel pride of independence—
Cruel—oh Agatha He absolutely groaned
Wishing no extravagance I do wish for comfort—perhaps some little elegance—as I have had all my life
You shall have it still Agatha her husband muttered I will coin my hearts blood into gold but you shall have it
Now you are talking barbarously Or else—how very very wrong am I What can be the reason that we torture each other so
Fate he cried pacing wildly up and down Fate that has netted us both to our own misery—nay worse—to make us the misery of one another Yet how could I know You seemed a young simple girl free to love—I felt sure I could make you love me Poor dupe that I was Oh why did I ever see you Agatha Bowen
He snatched his wife on his knee and kissed her repeatedly—madly—just as he had done on the morning of their weddingday never since Then he let her go—almost with coldness
There—I will not vex you I must not be foolish any more
Foolish He thought it foolish to show that he loved her Without replying Agatha sat down on the bench where her husband placed her He might say what he liked she was very patient now
He began to explain his reasons for taking the house that he had naturally more acquaintance with worldly matters than she had that whatever their income it was advisable for young people to begin housekeeping prudently since it was easy to increase small beginnings while of all outward domestic horrors there was nothing greater than the horror of running into debt When he talked thus at once with wisdom and gentleness Agatha began to forgive him
After all said she brightening your prudence—which I might call by a harder word but Ill be good now—your prudence is only restraining me in my little pleasures and I dont much mind But if you ever tried to restrain me in a matter of kindness as you did yesterday only I guessed the motive—
Did you
There—dont look so startled and displeased I saw you did not like the éclat of political charities But another time if I want to do good—like Anne Valery only in a very very much smaller way—Hark what is that noise
It was a decentlooking workingman standing out in the pouring rain watching them through the panes and rattling angrily at the locked conservatorydoor
What a fierce eye It looks quite wolfish What can he want with us
I will go and see Some labourer wanting work probably but the fellow has no business to come beckoning and interrupting Stay here Agatha
No—I will come with you And she tripped after her husband the momentary content of her heart creating a longing to do good—a sort of tithe of happiness thankfully paid to Heaven
Nathanael unfastened the glassdoor not without annoyance for unlike his wife his joytithe was not yet due
What do you want my good fellow
Some o th Harpers
Indeed Are you after work You dont look like one of the claycutters Where do you come from
I be Darset I be but I comed fra Carnwall
From where asked Agatha puzzled by the provincialism and attracted at once by the mans intelligent face and by a keen miserystricken hungry look which she had truly called wolfish
I be comed fra the miners in Carnwall reiterated the man raising his voice threateningly They sent I back to Darset to see some o th Harpers
You must go in Agatha it is cold I cannot have you standing here Go—quick And Agatha was astonished to see how pallid and eager her husband looked and how anxious he seemed to get her out of the way
No thank you I am not cold at all I want to hear this man Perhaps he is one of the poor miners Miss Valery spoke of at Wheal—what was it
I be comed fra Wheal Caroline Missus and I do want one o th Harpers There be the old un at the window Thicks the man for we
And he was hurrying off to the bowwindow of the Squires room which was alongside of the conservatory But Nathanael called him back imperatively
Stay friend My father has nothing to do with the mines—it is I Ill speak to you presently—Some business of Annes he explained hastily to his wife Leave us dear
Why do you make me go in I want to hear about the poor miners I want to help them as well as Anne Valery
Doee help we Missus implored the man softened by a womans kind looks Doee give we someat to keep un fra starving
Starving cried Agatha in horror And even her husbands anxiety was for the moment quelled in the deep pity which overspread his countenance
It be nigh that I tellee Us be no cheats—there be other folk as has cheated we Fine grand folk as knew nowt o the mines but shut un up and paid no money
How wicked
But I be come to find un out cried the man fiercely as his eye lit on Nathanael For I do know thick fine folk And I tellee—
Silence you forget you are speaking before a lady Wait for me and I will talk with you
Willee Mister Dontee cheat now said the miner with a rude attempt at a sneer
The young mans cheek flushed but he said very quietly—
I promise you I will speak with you here in halfanhour I am Nathanael Harper—Mr Harpers youngest son
After a minutes keen observation the miner pulled off his cap respectfully Thankee sir You beant he I see But you be th old Squires son and—I be Darset I be
Another bow—the involuntary respect to the ancient county family from honest labour born upon its ancestral sod and the man leaned exhausted against the ragged stem of one of the old vines
Missus he said looking up hungrily—at the lady this time— Missus doee gie un a bit o bread
Agatha full of compassion was eager to send the servants or take him into the kitchen or even fetch him his dinner with her own hands Mr Harper interfered
I will bring him some food myself Stay here my man dont stir hence Remember you have nothing to do with my father
There was a warning severity in the tone which annoyed Agatha Why did her husband speak harshly to the poor miner
Still she obeyed Mr Harpers evident wish that she should go away and spent the time in Elizabeths room telling her of this little incident
Miss Harper listened with all the quick intelligence of her bright eyes The only remark she made was
What could have led this miner to come back to Dorsetshire after our family
Agatha had never thought of this indeed she did not want to think Her heart was brimming with charity She longed to empty it out in a torrent of benefactions to which even Anne Valerys constant stream of good deeds appeared measured and slow Elizabeth watched her with a strange piercing expression—Elizabeth who from her silent nest seemed to behold all things clearer like a spirit sitting halfway in upper air to whose passionless wide vision distant mazes take form and proportion Often there was something almost supernatural in Elizabeth and her attentive eyes
My dear she said at last when Agatha paused for a response to her own enthusiasm Man proposes—God disposes Go and talk over these things with your husband first Agatha went
She met Nathanael on the staircase going up to their own room
Ah is it you I am so glad Come and tell me what has been done about the poor miner
He is gone I have sent him back to Cornwall
What so soon Not to starve at that Wheal—Wheal something or other—I always forget the name
Do forget it Dont let the matter trouble my little wife Let her run downstairs and think of something else
He patted her head with assumed carelessness and was passing her by but she stopped him
Ah there it is—I am always to be a child I am to run downstairs and think of something else while you go and shut yourself up to ponder over this affair But I will not be shut out I will go with you—come
In playful force she drew him to their room and closed the door
Now sit down and tell me the whole story Why how grave and pale it has made you look But never mind well find out a plan to help the poor people
He gave some inarticulate assent which checked her by its coldness sank on the chair she placed and folded his fingers tightly in one another so that Agatha could not even strengthen herself in the bold projects she was about to communicate by stealing her own into her husbands hand However she placed herself on the floor at his feet in the attitude of a Circassian beauty or—she accidentally thought—not unlike a Circassian slave
Begin please I must hear about these mines
I doubt if you could understand—at least with the few explanations I am able to give you at present
Nevertheless Ill try Why are the poor men starving in this way
You heard but now Because the mines were first opened on a speculation worked carelessly—dishonestly I fear—till the speculators money failed and the vein stopped Then the miners being thrown out of employ were reduced to great distress as this man tells me
But why should he have come here after your father
And continued Nathanael in a quick and rather inexplicable correlative the mines were lately sold as waste land Anne Valery bought them
Why did she do that
Out of charity that she might begin some employment—flaxgrowing I think—to find food for the poor people There the tales ended my Lady Inquisitive Will you go down to my sisters
Not yet I want to talk to you a little—a very little longer May I
And she drooped her head blushing as the young will blush over the same charitable feeling which the old and hardened ostentatiously parade
Mr Harper gazed hopelessly around as if longing any means of escape and solitude His wife saw him and was pained
What—are you tired of me
No no dear Only I am so busy—and have so many things to think about just now
Tell me some of them
What—tell you all my business mysteries he returned playfully Didnt you say to me once before we were married that you hated secrets and never could keep one in your life
It is true—quite true I do hate them cried Agatha
And for all your smiling I know you are keeping back something from me now
Foolish little wife
Foolish—but still a wife Look at me and tell the truth Is there anything in your heart which I do not know
Yes Agatha several things
The sudden change from jest to deep earnest startled the wife so much that she was struck dumb
Circumstances may happen he continued which a husband cannot always tell to his wife especially a man of my queer temper and lonely ways I always knew that the woman I married would have much to bear from me Did I not tell her so poor little Agatha And he tried to take her hand
You are talking in this way to soothe me but I know well what you mean No husband ever really thinks himself in fault but his wife Emma always said so
Mr Harper dropped the unwilling hand but the next moment by a strong effort reclaimed it firmly
Agatha are we beginning again to be angry with one another Is there never to be peace between us
Peace only Nothing closer dearer Yet what was it that as Agatha looked at her husband made her think even his peace better than any others love
Yes she murmured after watching him long in silence—yes there shall be peace Whatever I am I know how good you are And she added gaily now let me unfold a plan of mine for proving how good we both are
What is it
I want some money—a good deal
Mr Harper turned away Wherefore
Cannot you guess I thought you would at once—nay that you would be the first to propose it I am glad I am first Now do guess
I had rather not if it is a serious matter If otherwise I am hardly quite merry enough for jests today Tell me
It is a very simple thing though it has cost me halfanhours puzzling I never thought so much about business in all my life Well—she hesitated
Go on Agatha
I want—it must come out—I want you to take half or all of my—our money which is in the Funds as I believe Major Harper said though I have not the least idea what Funds are—and with it to buy a new mine and set the poor miners all working again theyll like it a great deal better than flaxgrowing And perhaps we could afterwards build schools and cottages and do oceans of good Oh how glad I am I was born an heiress
She rose her eyes brightening her little figure dilated she had never looked so lovely—so loveable And yet the husband sat as it were stone blind and dumb
You cannot have any objection to this I know Agatha went on It is not like giving money openly away—making a show of charity Nobody need know but that we do it on our own account—just to increase our riches and she laughed merrily at the idea Think now—how much money would it take
I cannot tell
A great deal probably since you look so serious over it said the wife a little vexed Perhaps my plan is foolish in some things but I think it is right and I am very firm—firmer than you imagine—when I feel I am in the right Surely living so cheaply in that tiny house—and we will live cheaper still if you choose—we shall have plenty to spare We must do this Say that we shall
Her husband was silent
Gradually the blush of enthusiasm deepened into that of annoyance—real anger Mr Harper I wait until you answer me
As she turned away Nathanael looked after her Such a flood of tenderness reverence sorrow passion rarely swept over a human face
Then he rose paced up the room in his usual fashion and down again pausing once at the window a strange thing for him to notice just then to let out a brown bee that having come in for shelter from the rain wanted to go out again with the sunshine At last he came to Agathas side
My dear wife it grieves me to pain you by a refusal—grieves me more than you can tell but the plan you propose is utterly impracticable
Indeed Her colour flashed darkened of a stormy red and paled She was exercising very great selfrestraint
I will ask less she resumed bitterly I had forgotten the extreme prudence of your character Give me just what you think is sufficient for charity And her lip tried not to curl—her heart tried not to despise her husband
Nathanael gave no answer
Mr Harper three—four times lately you have denied me what I asked Thrice it was merely my own pleasure—which I relinquished This time it is a matter of principle and I will not yield Will you—since I have made you master of my fortune—will you allow me enough out of it for my own slight gratification That at least is but justice
Justice echoed Nathanael his features sinking gradually into the rigidity they sometimes wore—a warning of how much the gentleness of his nature could bear
Hear me for one minute Agatha I know this is hard very hard for you I have prevented your living in London I have taken a smaller house than you like I have restricted you in acts of charity But for all these things I have reasons
Will you tell me those reasons It was a tone not of entreaty but of threatening—such as a man rarely hears from a woman without all the pride within him recoiling into obstinacy
Mr Harper grew yet paler though still his answer was soft—Agatha do not ask me I cannot tell you
You dare not You are ashamed
He walked away from her When he returned it was less the lover that spoke than the man I am not ashamed of anything I do and I have clear motives for all I only desire my wife to have patience for awhile and trust her husband
I trust my husband she cried in violent passion—When he acts outrageously unjustly insultingly—binds me hand and foot like a child and then smiles and tells me to be patient When he has secrets from me—when for all I know his whole conduct may have been one long deceit towards me
Take care Agatha The words were said between his teeth and then the lips closed in that strong straight line which made his face look all iron
I say it may have been—I have heard of such things—and she laughed fearfully at the horrible thought a tempting devil was putting into her mind—I have heard of young girls—poor desolate creatures cursed with riches and having no one to guard them—of some stranger coming and marrying them hastily but not for love—oh not for love And her laughter grew absolutely frightful in its mockery How do I know but that you thus married me
Her wild eyes fixed themselves on her husband She saw his face change to very ghastliness and guilt itself could not have trembled more than the shudder which ran through his frame
I was right she gasped her passion subdued into cold horror—you did marry me for my money
No answer—not a breath—only an incredulous stare Once more Agathas passion rose a sea of wrath misery despair that dashed her blindly on she recked not where
I see it all now—all your wickedness You never loved me you only loved my riches You have them now and so you can stand there and gaze at me as hard as dumb as a stone But I will make you hear—I will shriek it into your silence again—again—You married me for my money
Still no word The silence she spoke of was awful Nathanael stood upright his hands knotted together the lids dropping over his eyes He neither looked at her nor at anything There was not the slightest expression in his face—it might have been carved in granite When at last almost to see if he were living man Agatha clutched his arm it also felt hard immoveable like a granite rock
Mr Harper she cried terror mingling with the outburst of her rage
He merely lifted his eyes and looked at the door—Not once—oh never once at her
Ay I will go she answered—most gladly most thankfully I will run anywhere to escape your presence
She crossed the room and tried to unfasten the door which she had herself bolted a little while before out of play but her trembling fingers were useless She was obliged to call her husbands help and he came
Perfectly silent without a single glance towards her he undid the fastening and set the door open for her to pass A pang of fear nay remorse came over Agatha
Speak she cried—if only one word speak
His lips moved as though framing an inarticulate No and then closed again in that iron line He still stood holding the door
Hardly knowing what she did Agatha sprang past the threshold and tottered a few steps on Then turning she saw the door shut behind her slowly noiselessly but it was shut She felt as if the door of hope had been shut upon her heart
She turned again and fled away
CHAPTER XVIII
It was late afternoon The rain had ceased and glowed into one of those soft October days so exquisitely sunny and fair The light glimmered through the closed Venetian blinds of Annes room and danced on the carpet and about Agathas feet as she sat quiet at last and tried to remember how she had come and how long she had been there She had seen no one nobody ever came into Annes room
The dressingbell rang—the only sound she had heard in the house for hours
She started up waking to the frightful certainty that all was real—that the ways of the household were going on just as usual—that she must rouse up no matter staggering under what burden of misery and go through her daily part as if nothing had happened and nothing was about to happen
Nothing when this day perhaps this same hour must decide one of two things—whether she were a wretched wife bound for life to a man who married her solely for mercenary motives or whether she were a wife—perhaps in this even more wretched—who had so wronged and insulted her husband that nothing ever could win his forgiveness or restore his love His love which as she now dimly began to see and shuddered in the seeing was becoming to her the most precious thing in existence
Never until she sat there quite alone and feeling what it was to be left alone after being so watched and cherished—never until now had she understood what the world would be to her if doomed to question her husbands honour or to outlive her husbands love
It must have been all a dream she said moving her cold fingers to and fro over her forehead He never could have wronged me so or I him He must surely explain and I will ask his pardon for what I said in my passion—Unless indeed my accusation were true
But she could not think of that possibility now—it maddened her
I shall meet him soon I wonder how he will meet me That will decide all—Hark
She listened—with a vague expectation of footsteps at the door But no one came
I suppose he is in his room still—our room And all the solemn union of married life—the perpetual presence the never parting night nor day which makes estrangement in that tie worse than in any other human bond—rushed upon her with unutterable terror
If he has deceived and wronged me how shall I endure the sight of him If I have outraged him and he will not forgive me—oh what will become of me
She heard various bells ringing throughout the house and knew that she had no time to lose She rose up feebly with that aching numbed feeling which strong agitation leaves in the whole frame and tottered to the mirror
I must look at myself to see that there is nothing strange about me in case I meet any one in the passages—Oh what a face
It was sallow blanched with dark shadows round the eyes and dark lines drawn everywhere That first storm of wild passion—that agony of remorse following had left indelible marks She seemed ten years older since she had last beheld herself which was when she pulled out her long curls in the morning She pulled them out mechanically now trying to make of them a screen to hide the poor face that she had used to fancy they adorned Then she flew like a frightened creature along the passages and without meeting any one reached her chamberdoor It was a little way open she need not knock then—knock and wait trembling for the answer Perhaps Mr Harper was not there and so for a few minutes she was safe from the dreaded meeting She went in
The room was empty but her husbands handkerchief and ridinggloves were lying about he had apparently just gone downstairs Nevertheless though a relief it was rather a shock to her to find the room deserted She felt a weight in its silence forewarning her of she knew not what she looked round inquiringly as if the walls could tell her what had passed within them since she left At last she took up her husbands gloves and laid them by with a care foreign to her general habit and with a strange tenderness When Marys maid answered her summons she could not forbear asking carelessly but with an inward heartbeat—Where was Mr Harper
Mr Locke Harper maam is sitting reading to master in the library
He then could sit and read quietly to his father With him too all household ways went on unaltered—with her only was the tempest—the despair Her remorse ebbed down—her pride and anger rose Light—a fierce flashing light—came to her eyes and crimson roses to her cheeks She dressed herself with care and went down—though not until the last minute—to the drawingroom
Mary met her at the door I was just coming to fetch you Nathanael said you had been sitting in Annes room
How could he know Had he watched her
She answered flippantly Tis very true I have been enjoying my own company Very good company too Have I detained you though Is everybody here
Everybody was here He was here Though she never glanced that way she saw him and the look he wore To others it might seem his ordinary look a little paler a little more reserved but she knew what it meant She knew likewise now that her passion had subsided how his whole life—his stainless life—gave the lie to the accusation she had cast upon him She had outraged him in the keenest point where a proud honourable man can be outraged by his wife her own hand had cleft a gulf between them which might never close
At the thought her heart seemed dropping down—down in her bosom like a bird whose wing is broken it knows not how Sick giddy she clung to Marys arm for a moment
Nathanael look here What is the matter with your wife
Nothing Agatha cried I have only stupified myself with—with thinking I will think no more—no more
She tossed her head back with a fierce laugh Her husband who had halfrisen at Marys call resumed his seat making no remark
He had never been used to show her much fondness or attention before his family so it did not appear strange that in the few minutes before dinner he should talk to his sisters and leave his wife to the courtesies of his father For it was now an acknowledged fact at Kingcombe Holm that the Squire was growing very fond of Agatha
Dinner came the long dreadful dinner with the brilliant light glimmering in her face and showing every expression there with old Mr Harper leaning forward to address her every time she relapsed into silence with the consciousness upon her that there was no medium course that she must talk and laugh fast and recklessly or else fall into tears with the knowledge worst of all that there was one sitting at the bottom of the table whom she dared not look at but whom nevertheless she perpetually saw
Her husband had taken his usual place and sustained it in his usual manner There was the same brotherly chat with Mary and Eulalie the same answers to his father and when once in the dinnertable courtesies he addressed his wife the tone was precisely as it had ever been
Agatha could have shrieked back her answer betraying him to all the household This smooth outside of daily life—and with what below It was horrible
Yet she felt herself powerless to burst through it His perfect silence leaving his honour the honour of both in her hands was like a chain of iron wrapped round her however she writhed and dashed herself against it there it was
The Squire seemed to remain at table longer than ever today He would not let his womankind depart He had many toasts to give and various old reminiscences to unfold to his daughterinlaw She heard all in a misty dream and kept on vaguely smiling At last the purgatory was ended and they rose
Nathanael held the door open for his wife and sisters to retire—things went on so formally even in the everyday life at Kingcombe Holm In passing Agatha felt as if she must burst through that icy barrier he had drawn she must meet her husbands look and compel him to meet hers She gave him a look proud threatening yet full of hidden misery He would surely answer that
No No response—not even anger Some sorrow perhaps but a sorrow that was stern hopeless undemonstrative as was his own nature If any wreck had been it had already sank down into those deep waters of which the surface appeared perpetually calm
Agatha threw him back another look Scorn was there and hatred—she felt as though she did really hate him at that moment Her heart gave a leap like a smitten deer and then a laughing devil seemed to enter therein and dash her on—anywhere—to anything
Come Mary—come Eulalie we must be very merry tonight and my husband must join for all his solemnity Shake it off quick Mr Harper or well call you a deciever—a smoothfaced smiling cheat
Laughing out loud—she caught his hand wrung it violently and struck it aside
How comical you are said the languid Eulalie
But whispered sensible Mary are you quite sure Nathanael liked the joke
Who cares Yet Agatha looked back
He had merely drawn his hand in again to the other and his colour faintly rose Otherwise the poor mad passionate girl might as well have dashed herself against a rock She grew still again with a kind of fear Her very limbs tottered as she went towards the drawingroom and all the time that she lay there on the sofa Mary bustling about her and chattering all kinds of domestic nothings Agatha saw as in a vision her husbands face so beautiful in its very sternness so pure and righteouslooking whilst she felt herself so desperately daringly wicked All the black ingrained spots which had become visible in her soul and she knew herself to be worse than any one knew her—appeared gathering in one cloud until she sickened at her own likeness For beside it rose another image—and such an one Yet there was a time when she had thought it a great sacrifice and condescension that Nathanael should be allowed to love her Now—
No she dared not hear the cry of her heart She dared not do anything but hate him as he must surely hate her Had he stood before her that minute she would have flung away this softness made her flashing eyes burn up their tears and appeared all indifference He might if he chose be as cold as ice as proud as Lucifer—she would be the same She would never once let him suspect that which this days misery had shown her was kindling in her heart A something before which the pleasant little vanity of being adored the content of an easy unexacting liking in return fell like straws in a flame A something which she tried to call wrath and hate but which was truly the avenging angel Love
It seemed an age before Mr Harper came upstairs When he did his father was leaning on his arm The old gentleman looked tired as if they had been talking much yet seemed to regard with a lingering tenderness his son once so little of a favourite Why did he Why did Nathanael soon or late win every ones attachment And how could he show that reverent attention to his father that cheerful kindness to his sisters while she sat there jealous of every look and word Each time he addressed any of these three Agatha felt as if some unseen power were lashing her into fury
It is a strange and terrible thing but nevertheless true that a good man a kind man a generous man may sometimes quite unconsciously drive a woman nearly mad make her feel as though a legion of fiends were struggling for possession of her soul goad her weakness into acts which torture alone causes and the afterblackness of which presented to her real self creates a humiliation which only drives her madder still Men that is good men who are stronger and better able to do and to bear—ought to be very gentle very wise in the manner they deal towards women No shortcoming or wrong however great from the weaker to the stronger can merit an equal return and according to the law that the more delicate the mental and physical organisation the keener is the power of suffering so no man be he ever so wise or tenderhearted can rightly estimate the depth of a womans agony
Agatha rose and went away by herself into a smaller room that led out of the other not unlike her own pet sittingroom in her maiden days—the room where she had once stood by the firelight and Nathanael had come in and given her the first trembling thrilling lovekiss She stood in the same attitude now Did she remember it Was she in that shadowy corner with glimpses of light and fragments of talk pouring in from the other room dreaming over that old time—old though it happened scarcely three months ago—dreaming it over with oh what different emotions
And when she heard a step—her ears were very quick now Did she turn and think to see her lover of old—so little loved Alas without lifting her eyes she felt the presence was no longer that of her timid young lover but of her husband
Mr Harper came in and for the first time since that fearful minute when she quitted him the husband and wife were alone Not quite so for he had left the door wide open—purposely she thought There was a full vision of Mary playing chess with her father and of Eulalie lounging on the sofa gazing now and then with idle curiosity into the little room
It was insulting Why if he came to speak healing words did he let his whole family peer into the mysteries which ought to be strictly sacred between the two whom marriage had made one If only he had shut the door If only she could do it and then turn and cling round his neck or even weep at his knees—for that frantic desire did strike her for a moment—anything to win from him pardon and peace
Agatha are you quite at leisure
To dream of answering such a tone with a flood of tears or of clinging round a neck that lifted itself up in such a marble pride It was impossible
I am quite at leisure Mr Harper
At such a crisis and between two such characters the fate of a lifetime may depend upon the first word The first word had been spoken and answered
Agatha turned to the fire again and her husband to the shadow Either it was fancy or the effect of natural contact but the one face seemed to flame the other to darken—suddenly hopelessly—as when the last glimmer of light fades out upon a wall
Can you speak with me for a few moments
Certainly Shall it be here
I think so
Agatha sat down smoothed her dress and held her folded hands tight upon her knees lest he should see how they were trembling
Mr Harper resumed His tone was gentle though with a certain strangeness in it a want of that music which runs through all deeptoned low voices and which in his was very peculiar
It appears to me—though nothing shall be done against your decision—that considering all things it would be better that our stay in my fathers house were made as short as possible
Yes—yes Two long pausing words said beneath her breath
Accordingly I rode to Kingcombe this afternoon and find that we can enter the cottage on Saturday Today is Thursday——
Is it—Oh yes I beg your pardon Proceed
If it would be agreeable and convenient to you I think we had better arrange matters so I have already told my father it was probable we should leave on Saturday Are you willing
Quite willing
It is settled then On Saturday evening we go home
Go home To their first home To that new bridal nest which be it the poorest dwelling on earth seems—or should seem—holy happy and fair What a coming home it was Better she thought that he had cast her adrift or torn himself from her and placed the wide world between them Rather any open separation than the mockery of such a union
Home she cried I will not go—I cannot Oh not home
To a house then—call it by what name you please To your own house which we will merely say is mine Your comfort—he stopped a little—must always be the first consideration of your husband
My husband she repeated almost in a shriek—and the old fit of fierce laughter was coming back
At this moment Eulalies curious eyes were seen turning towards the little room Nathanael moved so as to shield his wife from them Hush he said sorrowfully even with a sort of pity—hush Agatha We are married Between us two there must be under all circumstances honour and silence
His manner was so solemn free from bitterness or anger that Agathas passion was quelled She was awed as by the sight of some dead face wronged grievously in life but which now only revenges itself by the hopelessness of its mute perpetual smile She remained staring blankly into the fire plaiting and unplaiting the sash of her dress with heedless fingers Eulalie might peer safely
There was another thing resumed Nathanael which before telling the rest of the household I wished to say to you I had business in Weymouth tomorrow and—if—
Well I listen
If—I were to ride there tonight—
Go A soft quick word—a mere motion of the lips—and yet it was the one word of doom
After that without saying more Mr Harper walked back slowly into the drawingroom and Agatha sat by the fireside alone
She heard the rest talking—complaining—reasoning—heard one or two persuasive calls for Agatha—but she never moved Then came the bell hastily pulled and the old Squires testy summons for Mr Locke Harpers horse and was it a fine night and the moon risen Then the drawingroom door opened and closed No—he was not gone—not without saying adieu He would surely pay his wife that deference Outside the wall she heard his foot ascending the staircase slowly with heavy pauses between each step She crept close to the farther door—behind the curtain and listened
Agatha—where is she gone to said Mary peeping carelessly into the dark room
Oh she has followed her husband upstairs of course Think of all the charges and farewells—the kissing and the crying Tis a wonder she did not insist on riding with him across the country and coming back at midnight as I suppose Nathanael will do La whats to become of these very devoted husbands and wives
Agatha crushed her hands against the wall She felt as if she could almost have torn Eulalies heart out—if she had a heart While in her own bosom leaping up in all its strength ready at once for heroism love and fury—for any nobleness or any crime—was that fountain of all her sexs actions that mainspring of all her life—the fatal womanheart
She waited until she heard Nathanael descend the stairs and then as he passed into the drawingroom to his sisters she by the little curtained door passed out into the hall There she remained until the rest came the sisters trooping after Nathanael and the old Squire following likewise to see that his son had the best and steadiest horse for a nightride which ride he took care to observe pointedly was a most uncourteous proceeding and warranted by nothing save the fact of its being performed on the especial service of Anne Valery
Agatha—where is Agatha hiding herself said Mary She ought not to keep her husband waiting a minute
Oh no And the little figure all in white glided out from some queer corner of the hall and stood like a ghost in the moonlight Good night—good night She threw out her hand with those of the others—threw it—not gave it
Nathanael took the hand but did not say good night—indeed he never spoke at all
Well are you not going to embrace one another stagefashion Dont let Mary and me interrupt you pray And the two Miss Harpers drew back a little from the young couple
Mr Harper bent coldly over his wifes brow hid under the shadow of her heavy hair
No no not that Agatha whispered recoiling from his touch Never that again
He opened the halldoor—saying adieu to neither father nor sisters—leaped on his horse and was gone
Agatha Agatha where are you running He is far down the road by this time Come in do Are you so very reluctant to be left for a few hours alone
Oh no Oh no And Agatha went back to the drawingroom with her sistersinlaw
Alone The word she had repudiated rose up like a spirit everywhere all over the house Not a room but what seemed empty strange Fast and busily the Miss Harpers talked—yet all around was oh such silence The silence that we feel in a house when some voice and step has gone out of it which no one misses except we and which we miss as we should miss the daylight or the sun
When all grew quiet and Agatha sat in her own room—expecting nothing for she knew he would not come—but still sitting with her hair falling damp about her and her eyes fixed on the mirror for company yet half growing frightened as if it were a strange object on which she gazed—then indeed there was silence—then indeed she was alone
CHAPTER XIX
Mr Harper did not ride home by midnight as his wife was well assured he would not do though with some idle hope put into her mind by Eulalie she sat at the window until the stars whitened in the dawn
At noon—which seemed to come slowly every hour a day—Mr Dugdale appeared with a message which by some wondrous good fortune he remembered to deliver—that Nathanael had returned from Weymouth to Kingcombe and was waiting there Agatha gathered with difficulty that her husband wished her to return with Mr Dugdale
I will not go
Thats right I wouldnt do it upon any account said Eulalie with not the kindest of laughs I wouldnt be sent for like a schoolgirl Let Nathanael come himself and fetch you What a rude fellow he is
Eulalie—You forget you are speaking of your brother and my husband I will be ready in five minutes Mr Dugdale
Duke lifted his placid but observant eyes and smiled Thats good Come along my child
He had never spoken so kindly to her before It was as if he read her trouble Her anger faded—she was near bursting in tears In a little while she had taken the good mans arm—which Eulalie pointedly informed her was not the fashion at Kingcombe—and was walking with him to meet her husband
Marmaduke talked but little marching on leisurely in a meditative mood and leaving his young sisterinlaw to follow his example Once or twice she felt stealing down upon her one of his kindly paternal glances and heard him saying to himself his usual windingup of every mental difficulty
Eh—We know nothing Nobody knows anything But everything always comes clear sometime
At the verge of the town apparently coming to meet them she saw Nathanael—saw him a long way off Her heart leaped at the first vision of the tall slender figure and light hair but when he approached she was walking steadfastly along Her eyes lowered and her mouth firm set He came up silently gave her his arm and she took it as silently
Mr Dugdale and her husband immediately began to talk so there was no need for Agatha to do anything but walk on trying to remember where she was and what course of conduct she had to pursue trying above all to repress these alternate storms of anger and lulls of despair and deport herself not like a passionate child but a reasonable woman—a woman who after all might have been heavily wronged
Sometimes she essayed to consider this—to recall as is so difficult always the original cause of difference the little cloud which had produced this tempest—but everything was in an inextricable maze
Ere long Nathanaels silence warned her that they two were alone Mr Dugdale having made himself absent and being seen afar off diving into a knot of marketpoliticians Arminarm the husband and wife passed on through the street Agatha pulled her veil down and caught more steadfast hold of her husbands arm—he was her husband and she would maintain their honour in the worlds sight She felt how many curious eyes were watching them from windows—how many gossiping tongues would be passing comment on the looks and demeanour of Mr and Mrs Locke Harper
Shall we go over the house now or would you like to call for my sister
No—we will go at once returned Agatha
Steadfastly—mechanically—the young husband and wife looked over their future home which was all but ready for habitation It was not a mean abode now to Mr Wilsons furniture had been added various comforts and luxuries Agatha asked no questions—scarcely noticed anything She merely moved about trying to sustain her position in the eyes of the workpeople that showed her round the house stopping a minute to speak kindly to the servant who was already installed there and who dropping a dozen respectful curtsies explained that she was the daughter of Master Nathanaels nurse
Everything seemed arranged for Mrs Harpers comfort as by invisible hands She never inquired or even thought who was the origin of it all She could not believe she was in her own home—her married home—she felt as if each minute she should wake and find herself Agatha Bowen in the old rooms in Bedford Square with all things else a dream
Oh that it were she sighed within herself Oh that I had never—
She paused here—she could not wish that she had never seen Nathanael
They quitted the cottage and went out into the street for country and town blended together in tiny Kingcombe Mr Harper closed the wicketgate and looked back upon the little house There was an unquiet glitter in his eye and his chest heaved violently for a few moments Then with all outward observance he linked his wifes arm in his and they proceeded onwards
At the end of East Street they met Harriet Dugdale—the Dugdales seemed always wandering about Kingcombe after one another and turning up at intervals at odd corners
Here you both are I was looking for my husband Has anybody seen Duke Oh where on earth is Duke gone to He said he would be back in five minutes—which means five hours
I left him at the marketplace
Thats an hour ago He has been home two or three times since then Do you think he could get on for a whole hour without wanting the Missus Oh there he is Stop and Ill catch him
He was caught and led forward prisoner by his pretty wife who never once let him go lest he should slide away again and become absorbed in the mysterious electioneering groups that haunted the town
Now—Harrie—Missus just wait—Ill be back in a minute
Not a minute Anne has sent word that she wants you directly—you and Nathanael Youll go brother
Whither
To Thornhurst to meet Mr Trenchard and some other folk You must start immediately
Mr Harper glanced towards his wife who had dropped his arm not pointedly but as though release were welcome
What couldnt it leave its pet again cried Harrie laughing Bless it nobody demands that terrible sacrifice Do you think Anne would invite husbands without their wives We are all to go—if you agree Agatha
Oh yes It was quite indifferent to her where she went or what she did
So they all four started in one of those inimitable conveyances called dogcarts which seem to offer every facility for accidental death either by flying over the horses head tumbling under the wheels or slipping off behind
Where will you sit my dear Beside your husband I suppose Mine drives
Agatha answered by springing up beside Mr Dugdale with some vague jest about husbands being no company at all The dark fit had passed and she was now in a mood of desperation
They dashed on quickly Marmaduke was a daring driver
Sometimes Agatha even thought he would overturn them in the road Little she cared She was in that state of excitement when the utmost peril would only have made her laugh Passing under the three hills and looking up at the old castle silent and grey the daylight shining through the fissured apertures that had been windows she turned round and recklessly proposed to Harrie their scrambling up the green slope and rolling down again
E—h my child said Duke Dugdale turning his mild benevolent looks on the flushed face beside him Dontee try that dontee now When people once set themselves rolling downhill they never stop till they get to the bottom Its always so in this world
Agatha laughed more loudly She wished her husband to hear how merry she was She talked incessantly to Mr Dugdale or Harrie and held herself very upright so that Nathanael who sat behind her might not even feel the touch of her shoulder She who had hitherto been so indifferent to everybody so mild in her likings and dislikes—never till now had she felt such strange emotions Yet each and all carried with them a fierce charm It was like a person learning for the first time what thirst was and drinking fire because in any case he must drink And with all her wrath there seemed a spell over heart brain and senses which never for a moment allowed her to cease thinking of her husband Every movement he made every word he uttered she distinctly felt and heard
The way grew unfamiliar they were passing through a track of country wilder and more peculiar than any Mrs Harper had yet seen in Dorsetshire—a road cut through furzy eminences looking down on deep abrupt valleys that might have been the bed of driedup lakes or bays long heathery sweeps of undulating ground with great stones lying here and there cultivation altogether ceasing—even sheep becoming rare and ever when they chanced to rise on higher ground a sharp salt seawind blowing not a human being to be seen for miles
Heres the gate Ill open it Now we get into Anne Valerys property said Harrie as she leaped down and leaped up again mocking Nathanaels brown study
What a change Agatha cried I have not seen such trees in Dorsetshire
They seem indeed to have grown on purpose for Anne Her grandfather built Thornhurst A queer desolate spot to choose but its a perfect little nest of beauty There
The road opened upon a semicircular green plane levelled among the hills as it were on purpose and planted round with a sheltering bulwark of trees—lime chestnut oak—rising higher and higher until at the summit where the seabreeze caught them grew nothing but the perpetual Dorsetshire fir On the edge of the semicircle stood the house this green plane before it behind a wide stretch of country where the tide running for miles inland made strangeshaped lakes and broad rivers spread out glistening in the afternoon sun
Anne must always be near the sea I dont think she would live even here unless she knew that just climbing those rocks would bring her in sight of the Channel She has quite an oceanmania
Ill learn it from her I want a convenient little mania Suppose I cure myself of my old grudge against the sea and go from hatred into love or from love back again into hatred—as people do
What a comical girl you are
Very Stay now Wait till the horse is quiet and Ill take a leap down—just like a person leaping into—
Hold Agatha—and she felt her arm caught by her husband It was the first time he had touched or addressed her since they left Kingcombe Dont spring down—it is not safe Stay till I lift you
I do not want your help
Excuse me you do you are not used to this sort of carriage
Stand aside—I will jump down she cried roused by the contest slight as it was but enough to show the clashing of the two wills Stand aside she repeated leaning forward with glittering eyes giddy and in so great confusion of mind as to be in real danger—we will see who gives way
Are you in earnest Nathanael whispered
Quite Go
I would go if it were play But when I see my wife about to do any frantic thing to her own injury I shall restrain her—thus
Balancing himself on the carriagestep he clasped the little figure in his arms—tight—strangely tight and close Before Agatha could resist he had lifted her safely down and set her free
She stood passive—astonished What could it be in that firm will in that sudden clasp which made her feel—was it anger No not anger though her cheeks glowed and her breast heaved Why was it that as Nathanael walked onward towards the house his wife looked after him with such a mingling of attraction and repulsion What could it be this strange power which gave him the preeminence over her—which taught her without her knowing it the mystery that causes man to rule and woman to obey Very thoughtful—even unmoved by Harries loud laughter at the excellent joke—Mrs Harper suffered herself to be led on by her sisterinlaw
Nonsense child dont look so serious Men will have their way—especially husbands Mine gets obeyed as little as any one but now and then when it comes to the point—here Harrie looked astonishingly grave for her—Im obliged to give in to Pa and somehow Pas always right bless him
How every word of one happy wife went like a dagger into the other wifes heart But there was no shield Here they were in Anne Valerys house obliged to appear as cheerful guests especially the newest guest the bride Agatha tried and tried successfully to play her part—misery makes such capital hypocrites
Isnt this a large house for a single woman said Mrs Dugdale as the two ladies passed upstairs Yet Anne constantly manages to fill it especially in summertime The dozens of sick friends she has staying here to be cured by seabreezes the scores of young people that come and make love in those green alleys down the garden But then in the lulls of company the house is dull and silent—as now
It was very silent though not with the desolation which often broods over a large house thinly inhabited The room—Annes bedroom—lay westward and a good deal of sunshine was still glinting in A few late bees were buzzing about the open window cheated perhaps by the feathery seeds of the clematis which had long ceased flowering There was no other sound But many fine prints a few painted portraits and several whitegleaming statuettes seemed as the sunlight struck them to burst the silence with mute speech
Oh you are looking at Annes odds and ends as I call them Rather a contrast her walls and ours I dont see the use of prints and plaster images—always in the way where there are children But Anne is so dreadfully fond of pretty things She says theyre company No wonder A solitary old maid must find herself very dull at times
Must she—then she is the more glad to see her visitors—a pleasant voice a silkenrustling step which in Agathas fancy seemed always to enter like daylight into a dusky room—and Miss Valery came to welcome her guests
She addressed Mrs Harper first and then Harrie who looked confused for the moment But it was not a trifle that could upset the equanimity of the honestspeaking Harrie Dugdale
Bless us Anne how softly you walk Listeners etc—You know the saying But you might listen at every door in Dorsetshire and never hear worse of yourself than I said just now
Thank you When I want a good character I shall be sure to come to Harriet Dugdale—And now what is the news with the little wife whom I have yet to bid welcome to Thornhurst Welcome Mrs Locke Harper Anne said the name as she often did with a peculiar undertone of hesitation and tenderness then according to her frequent habit she put her hand on her favourites shoulder and began to play with the brown curls Have you been quite well and happy since I saw you
The question so simple so full of kindness pierced Agathas soul Alas how much had happened since she sat on the stone seat at Corfe Castle and looked over the view with Anne Valery How little did Anne or any one know that she was wretched—maddened—hating herself and the whole world—believing in nothing good nothing holy—not even in her who spoke The words the smile appeared the mocking hypocrisy of one who had persuaded her to marry and must ere long know of that hasty marriage the miserable result This thought steeled her heart even against Anne Valery
She burst into a sharp laugh Well Happy Cannot you see You are the best person to answer your own question And she moved away out of the room
Anne looked after her thoughtfully rather sadly Perhaps she was used to have her pets glide from her dancing out indifferently into the merry world She made no attempt to follow Agatha but led the way downstairs into the drawingroom
Mr Trenchard come and let me introduce you to Mrs Locke Harper
As Miss Valery said this an elderly gentleman dapper dandy and small escaped from under the hands of Duke Dugdale—those big earnest hands that were laid upon him in all the apostleship of sincere argument—and came nothing loth as his eager bow showed to do the polite to the young bride who had been lately brought to the county For Mr Trenchard besides the wondrously sweetening power of his candidateship came of a very ancient name in Dorsetshire He was evidently a beau too—one of those harmless general adorers whom the influence of a graceful woman touches even unto old age
Agatha saw in his first look that he admired her and she was in that proud desperate mood when a girl is ready to catch hold of the attentions or conversation of any one—even an elderly gentleman She was very gracious to Mr Trenchard—nay altogether bewitching—though for the first ten minutes she herself saw and heard nothing save a thing in black with white hair talking to her of the beauties of Dorsetshire More distinctly than aught he said she heard what was passing in the group at the other end of the room—especially her husbands voice so quiet and deep always a tone deeper than any other voices falling through all the rest like a note of music And she soon found out that Anne was listening also—to Nathanael of course She always did
Mr Trenchard followed the direction of the two ladies eyes and ingeniously took up the text
I assure you Mrs Harper it is a pleasure to all the neighbourhood that your husband has come back from America I remember him quite a child and his uncle a young man And really how like he is in both feature and voice to what his uncle used to be at that time As he stands there talking I could almost fancy it was Mr Locke Harper
Mr Locke Harper repeated Agatha Was that the name Uncle Brian went by
Yes save with those privileged people who called him Brian But they were few He had not the fortune or misfortune of possessing a thousand and one intimate friends Yet all respected him and remember him still It will be a real satisfaction to have in the country a second Mr Locke Harper—Dear me how like he is Dont you see it Miss Valery
There is a general likeness running through all the Harper family
Except the eldest son though even to him I can trace some resemblance here—and he bowed to Mrs Dugdale And this reminds me that I knew beforehand I should probably have the pleasure of meeting Mrs Harper in Dorsetshire Only two days ago I saw at Paris Major Frederick Harper
Is Major Harper at Paris eagerly cried Agatha caught by the name which had so soon passed out of the daily interests of her life that its sound was already quite strange It reached her now like a comforting breath of old times—a something to catch hold of in the wide dreary maze around her Her former guardian seemed to rise up before her with all his cheery goodnatured ways his compassion when she had been newly made an orphan his kindness of manner that remained—ay to the very last
In a rush of many feelings that softened her voice to positive tenderness she cried Oh do tell me all about Major Harper
And this time she did not notice that in the political discussion going forward it was Mr Dugdale who spoke his brotherinlaw having ceased the argument and become silent
Madam returned the candidate with a smile—perhaps a little too meaning a smile—I will with pleasure tell you everything I guessed from his anxious questions concerning you and whether I had met you in Dorsetshire that before he was your brotherinlaw Major Harper had the happiness of being an intimate friend of yours
He was my guardian
That fact he did not inform me of Indeed we had little time for conversation We merely dined together and parted almost immediately He seemed in the midst of a whirl of pleasant engagements as Major Harper invariably is Charming agreeable man An immense favourite with all ladies
Agatha answered Yes rather coldly Her attention was wandering she had missed the sound of her husbands voice altogether But the next moment she heard him behind her
Mr Trenchard
Well my dear sir Are you also come to ask questions about your brother whom as I have been telling Mrs Harper I had the pleasure to meet in Paris
So I have just heard you say Where and how was he living
Agatha thought this a strange question for Nathanael to put to a third party concerning his own brother She was glad to hear Miss Valery observe with genuine tact that Major Harper was always careless in the matter of giving addresses
He was living—let me see—at 102 Rue— one of the handsomest and pleasantest streets in Paris I remember he said he was obliged to take this appartement for three months after which he was going to act the hermit and economise Very unlikely that I should think for a man of Major Harpers social habits
Very Agatha said being looked to for a response She was much surprised to learn this of her brotherinlaw still more did she wonder at the rigid silence with which her husband heard the same
I think Mrs Harper we may safely say that his determination will not last A mere fit of misanthropy after rather too much gaiety In such a pleasant fellow as Frederick Harper we must excuse a few broken resolutions
We ought said Anne Valery with that rare gentleness which makes men listen to a woman even when she preaches It is a very hard trial for any one to be thrown into the world with so many gifts as Major Harper A man whom all men like and not a few women are prone to love goes through an ordeal so fierce that if he withstand it he is one of the greatest heroes on earth If he fall—and Anne lowered her voice so that Agatha could scarcely hear though she felt sure Nathanael did—if he fall we ought through all the wrong clearly to discern the temptation
It was a new doctrine the last Agatha would have expected to hear on the lips of such a sternly good woman as she had painted Miss Valery She said so adding with her usual plainness I thought somehow that you did not like Major Harper
Nay we were young together But hush my dear your husband is speaking
He was saying with quite an altered expression something about my brother Frederick But after that mention Major Harpers name died out of the conversation as out of Agathas memory Alas not the unfrequent fate of the Major Harpers of society—meteors never thought of but while they are shining and forgotten as soon as they have burnt themselves out
By this time the two or three stray visitors—gentlemenfarmers Annes tenants as Mrs Dugdale whispered—had disappeared and Mr Trenchard was the sole stranger left in the drawingroom Miss Valery did the honours of her house with a remarkably simple grace
I give no state dinner parties she said smiling to Mr Trenchard It is a whim of mine that I never could see the use of friends meeting together merely to eat and drink or of offering them more and richer fare than is customary or necessary But if you will stay and dine with me and with these my own people country fashion even though you have been a ten years resident in London—
But have never forgotten Dorset and good Dorset ways said the old gentleman as he bowed over the hostesss hand Then obeying Annes signal he offered his arm to Mrs Harper to lead her in to dinner—the innocent daylight dinner with real Chinaroses looking in at the window and an energetic autumnrobin singing his goodnight before the sun went down
Agatha could have been happy merry—she was still so young and the weight on her heart was the first that ever had fallen there At intervals she struggled to forget it—almost succeeded and then the first glimpse of her husbands face the first tone of his voice brought the burden back again Her spirits grew wilder than ever lest any one should guess she was so very very miserable
After dinner dreading Annes eyes she rushed off into the garden with Harrie Dugdale tossing back her hair and inhaling by gasps the cold evening wind that it might bring calm and clearness to her brain Even yet she felt as though she were dreaming
Returning she found lights in the drawingroom Mr Trenchard in a patient attitude was listening to Marmaduke Dugdale some distance off Nathanael sat talking to Miss Valery Anne was leaning back in an armchair the lamp shining full on her face showed how very pale and worn it was Her voice too sounded feeble as Agatha caught the words
In two months you think That is a long time
It cannot be sooner Marmaduke says I met him on board the ship at Weymouth when he told me of this innocent little scheme he was transacting
But you will not tell—
Uncle Brian No of course not Yet I think it would do Uncle Brian good to know how dearly Marmaduke and all his friends here care for him Yet he might not believe it—I think he never did
Anne was silent
He used to say continued Nathanael who was sitting where he could not see his wife and for once heard not her soft step over the carpet—Uncle Brian used to say that it was wisest neither to love nor need love I think different It is a cruel hardening embittering thing for a man to feel that no one loves him
—Love—love Have you two sage ones been discussing that folly Now may I have the honour to hear
If Anne will talk I have done speaking said Mr Harper as he gave Agatha his chair and slowly moved away to the other circle
Thus ever thus he went from her escaping the chance of either being wounded or healed Agatha was nearly wild With all her might she flung herself into conversation with Mr Trenchard and tried to conjugate that verb—hitherto a mystery to her innocent mind—to flirt She wished to make herself beautifully hateful—bewitchingly foul or rather she did not care what she made herself if she only made him—who had now in her thoughts sank to the namelessness which proves that one name is fast filling up the whole world—made him stir from that mountain height of impassive calm—melted him into repentance—shook him into frenzied jealousy Anything—anything—so that he no longer should stand before her like a serene Alp which nothing human could disturb and which—ah in all her madness she saw that but too clearly—which had always such a heavenly light shining on its forehead—a purity Godgiven like his name
His name which she had once so disliked but which now caught a strange beauty Lately she had looked out its meaning in a list of Bible names and many a time the night before she had said it to herself crying it out into the dark until its soft Hebrew vowels grew musical and its holy Hebrew meaning grew divine Nathanael—Nathanael—Godgiven Might he not indeed be a husband given unto her of God—to lead her in the right way and make a true noble woman of her such as a woman is always made by the love of and the loving of a noble man
But these were sacred nighttime thoughts which vanished in the daylight or only came in snatches and rifts careering through the blackness that surrounded her
And still she talked to the fortunate Mr Trenchard made herself more agreeable than she had ever believed possible The elderly beau was fascinated and even Mr Dugdale turned from electionpapers to look at his fair sisterinlaw with genuine admiration—now and then nodding to Harrie as if to see what she thought of this new light that had shot across their country hemisphere At which Mrs Dugdale once or twice pretended to be mightily jealous until her husband with his inconceivable sweet smile his way of patting her knees with his big gentle hand and the utterly inexpressible tone of his Nay now Missus made matters quite straight and plunged back into his politics
All this while Anne Valery sat in her arm chair—speaking little looking from one to the other of her guests with a wandering thoughtful eye that for once noticed little the things around her because her mental vision was afar off—Whither—
And Marmaduke went on with his benevolent schemes for improving Dorsetshire and the world and his Harrie had her dreams too—possibly about the advantage an MPs interest might prove in future days to the children and the young couple in all the whirl of their misery still clung to hope and youth and life so little of which way they had trod and so much of which lay before them No one thought of her who sat apart looking smilingly on them all but to whom they and the things surrounding them were day by day growing more dim—who was fading fading even while she smiled
CHAPTER XX
When late at night the party reached Kingcombe it was resolved that the Harpers should remain there until morning Agatha worn out with bodily fatigue and the great tension of her mind during so many hours laid her head down on her pillow closed her aching eyes and never opened them till near upon broad noon Then she found breakfast was long over in the early house of the Dugdales and that Nathanael had left her and gone out some hours before
He would not let me come and wake you—he said you slept so heavily and looked so tired Certainly he is the very kindest husband Who ever would have believed that stiff cold disagreeable Nathanael who came home from America some months ago puzzling us all would have turned out so well It is your ladyships doing I suppose
So ran on Mrs Dugdale nor noticed how beneath her words her sisterinlaw writhed as though they had been sharp swords Harrie was not a penetrating woman Agatha had already discerned that and thought with a bitter smile that it was well they were coming to live at Kingcombe and that Mrs Dugdale would be a very safe and amusing companion
Now what is to be done today said she as she ate the breakfast which Harrie brought her and looked round the strange bedroom which made her feel more bewildered than ever So many phases so many lives did she seem to have passed through since she was married
The first thing to be done my dear is to take you back to Kingcombe Holm to do respectful to your papainlaw Very punctilious is the Squire If Nathanael had not ridden over there at some unearthly hour this morning he never would have forgiven your not returning at night—the last night too for I see your husband is determined to be settled at the cottage this evening
Ah that is well Agatha breathed more freely She was so glad to hide herself under any roof that was her own And perhaps a vague thought crept up that some time—not for days yet but when she could bend her pride to soften him—when they were living quite alone together—all might be gradually explained nay healed between her and her husband She was on the whole not sorry to go home
I see you two are quite agreed laughed Harrie Marvellous union Mrs Locke Harper Youll be really a pattern couple soon and throw Duke and me cruelly in the shade Now dress like lightning and Ill drive you and the children over to grandpapas Most likely well meet Pa and Nathanael somewhere about the town
But with the general vagueness of the Dugdale habits that meeting did not arrive nor was Mr Harper anywhere to be seen
I dare say he is at the cottage where I was bid not to take you upon any account Charming little mysteries I suppose attendant on bringing home the bride Very nice Heighho I remember how happy I was when my poor dear Duke brought me home for the first time
Where was that They were dashing over the moors Agatha sitting rather silent and Harries tongue galloping as fast as Dunce her steed Little Brian was perched on his mothers knee holding the reins—a baby Phaeton though with small danger of setting the world on fire—at least just yet
Where was it my dear Why to the same old house we live in empty and gloomy then though its full enough now And I had been married—hold your tongues Fred and Gus you cant have the whip simpletons—married only three weeks and it was queer coming back to my native place and my father was rather cross that I had married Duke at all and—I was foolish enough to cry
Here Harrie laughed and gave Dunce a lash that quite discomposed his pony faculties and made Brian scream with delight
And what did your husband say
Say Nothing He never speaks when hes vexed or hurt only a little while afterwards he came beside me and said something about my being such a young girl so gayhearted and pretty—bah—though I was pretty then—too young he said to marry such an elderly man etc etc etc
And what did you say
Likewise nothing I just jumped on his knee and took him round the neck and—But that isnt of the slightest consequence to anybody Tuts On with you Dunce And Harrie leaned forward her eyelashes glittering wet in spite of her fun
I know I dont deserve him she continued I never did Nobody could There are a lot of bad men in the world but when a man is really good theres hardly a woman alive that is good enough for him And Im not half good enough for Duke—but—I love him Thats all Bless thee Brian thee is Pas own boy all over
And Harrie kissed the little fellow passionately with something more even than a mothers love—Agatha could have lifted up her arms and shrieked with misery
It was a strange long day at Kingcombe Holm many things to be arranged many questions to be parried many prying eyes to be avoided But the general conclusion seemed to be that this sudden movement was a mysterious whim of Nathanael—and Nathanael was supposed by onehalf of his family to be mightily prone to mysteries and whims
At length when the day was nigh spent and Agatha had dressed for the last of those formal dinners to which she had never been able quite to reconcile herself she took refuge in Elizabeths room Thither she had of late absented herself there was something so formidable in the keenness of Elizabeths silent eyes Hesitating before the door she remembered when she had last quitted it It required all her bravery to cross the threshold once more
Come in I hear your foot Agatha There was no stepping back now
The same atmosphere of peace and sanctity pervading the pretty room the same lights dancing through the painted window on the silk coverlet the same face which had all the colourless reality of death without any of its ghastliness—a smiling repose such as is seen only at the beginning and end of lifes tumult—in the cradle and in the coffin Its effect upon Agatha was instantaneous Her trembling ceased she stepped lightly as one does in entering a holy place
Elizabeth It seemed a beautiful name a saints name and as such came quite naturally though she had rarely before been so familiar with any one of her new sisters She kneeled down and kissed Elizabeth
That is right You are good to come And where have you been my little sister—I have not seen you for three days
Is it so long
Yes—though it may seem longer to me here You remember you came and told me a long story about a Cornish miner How did the tale end What no answer
None She tried to hide herself—crush herself into the very floor where she sat out of reach of Elizabeths eyes
Ah well dear I shall not ask
Perhaps my husband will tell you some day Talk to me of something else Elizabeth And oh however I may look and speak dont notice me Let me feel that I need not make pretences with you
You need not Nothing that happens here goes beyond these four walls Everybody tells me everything
Elizabeth might well say this There was that about her which made people fearless and free in their confidence it did not seem like talking to a mortal woman mixed up continually in the affairs of life but to one removed to a different sphere where there was no chance of betrayal
Her room was a safe confessional and she was a sort of general conscience in the house
Everybody tells you everything repeated Agatha Does my husband
Not yet at least not in words
Then I will not Only let me come here and—
She covered her face and for a few moments wept fully and freely as one weeps before ones own heart and before God Then she dried her eyes and the storm was over
Elizabeth only said Poor child—poor child Wait But the one word struck like a sunray through darkness No one ever waited but had some hopeful ending to wait for
Now said Agatha overcoming her weakness—now let us talk What have you been doing all day
Little else than read this and think over it You know Fredericks hand I see He does not usually write such long letters even to me All is not right with him I fear
Indeed—and Agatha met unsuspiciously the keen look of Elizabeth Yet he is well and in the midst of gaieties Mr Trenchard said so yesterday They met in Paris
Did they Elizabeth lay musing for a good while then suddenly said observing her young sister Agatha you are listening Theres some one at the door
It was Nathanael Any one might have known that by the quick flush that swept over his wifes features But when this passed she was again composed—not at all like the young creature who had wept by Elizabeths couch She merely acknowledged her husbands presence and leaving her place vacant for him took up a book
He said I did not know my wife was here Were you and she talking Shall I leave you
Elizabeth smiled Then you must take your wife also for I will not be the sundering of married people But nonsense Sit down both of you We were speaking about Frederick Has he written to you
No
In this letter—Nathanaels eyes fell on it and froze there—he gives me no address Agatha says he is living in Paris Do you remember where
I do not
Perhaps your wife does
Agatha had a useful memory for such things She repeated the address given by Mr Trenchard exactly
Good child When I write I shall tell Frederick how you remembered him But he has been equally mindful of you He asks many questions and seems very anxious about you
Does he He is very kind said Agatha somewhat moved She felt all kindness deeply now
He is kind Miss Harper continued thoughtfully When he was a boy there never was a softer heart Poor Frederick And the name was uttered with a fondness that Agatha had never noticed in any other of Major Harpers family towards him It led her to look sympathisingly towards Elizabeth
Are you uneasy about him Oh I do hope nothing is wrong with poor Major Harper And she almost forgot her own feelings in thinking how unbrotherly it was of Nathanael to sit there like a stone saying nothing Elizabeth also seemed hurt the elder brother was clearly her favourite—clung to as sisters cling through good report and evil She looked gratefully at Agatha
Thank you You are a warmhearted girl But you ought to keep a warm heart for Frederick You do not know how tenderly he always speaks of you
Agatha coloured she hardly knew why except because she saw her husband start and look at her—one of those keen quick looks that only last a moment Under it she blushed still deeper—to very scarlet
Mr Harper stood up I think Elizabeth we must go now Agatha shall come to you again in a day or two—and you and she can then talk over both your sisterly loves for Frederick
He spoke lightly but Agatha heard a jarring tone—she was growing so familiar with his every tone now Why did he thus speak thus look whenever she uttered or listened to his brothers name Could it be possible that Emma had told him—No she threw that thought from her in scorn—the scorn with which she had once met the insinuation that she had been in love with Major Harper Emma could not have been so foolish so wicked or if she had any manly honour any honest pride would have made Nathanael speak of it before their marriage Since she felt certain that Mr Harper had not interchanged a single word alone with Mrs Thornycroft
In disgust and shame that her vanity—oh not vanity but a feeling that holy as it was her proud heart still denied—had led her to form the suspicion Agatha cast it from her She who had no secrets no jealousies felt it to be impossible that Nathanael should bury within his breast that foul thing—a secret jealousy of his brother
Especially now when it seemed as if his love itself were dying or dead—when on quitting Elizabeths room he walked with her silent or making smooth brief speeches as he would to any other lady—any lady he had met for the first time and was handing courteously down to dinner Her heart boiled within her Was she to pour it out before him in complaint—repentance Was she to accuse him of jealousy and be met with a calm contemptuous smile—to betray the growing passion of her heart in order to light up the few stray embers that might yet be lingering feebly in his Never She walked on haughtily carelessly dumb
The evening slid on hardly noticed by her Night came when after many ceremonious family adieux which she responded to without ever hearing—after one frantic rush along the dim passages to Elizabeths door where she drew back and left the tearful goodbye unspoken for he was standing there—after all this the Squire put her into the family coach with Mrs Dugdale at her side and Nathanael opposite Bidding her farewell the old man gave with less stateliness than tenderness his fatherly blessing upon her and her new home They reached it Again she laid her head upon a strange pillow in a strange room and slept as she always did when very wretched the heavy stupifying sleep which lasts from night till morning—deadening all care but making the waking like that of one waking in a tomb
Agatha woke with the sunshine full in her eyes and the early churchbells ringing
Oh where am I What day is this Where is my husband
The new maid Nathanaels fostersister was standing by smiling all respectful civilities informing her in broad Dorset that it was Sunday time for missus to get up and that master was walking in the garden
They mistress and master head and guide of their own household—they two young creatures who so little time ago had been a youth and a girl each floating adrift on life without duties or ties It had seemed very strange very solemn under any circumstances but now—
God help me poor helpless child that I am Oh what shall I do
Such was the inward sob of Agathas heart She almost wished that she could have turned her face again on the pillow and slept there safely for eternity
But the matin churchbells ceased—it was nine oclock She must rise and appear below for the first time as mistress in her own house Also she remembered faintly something which Mrs Dugdale had said about the custom at Kingcombe—an irrefragable law of country etiquette—of a brides going to church for the first time ceremoniously in bridal dress And no sooner had she descended—wrapped in the first morningfrock she could lay her hands upon than Harrie entered
So—I am your first visitor you see Many welcomes to your new home And may it prove as happy as merry—and some day as full—as ours Bless you my dear little sister
She pressed Agatha in her arms with more feeling than Harrie usually showed But for Agathas salvation or she would have burst into sobs it was only momentary
Come no sentiment Call in Nathanael and eat your breakfast quickly you atrociously lazy folks Dont you know you have only halfanhour and you must go to church or all Kingcombe would be talking
I meant to go—I shall be ready in two minutes
My patience ready—in such a gown Come here Nathanael Are you aware its indispensable for your wife to appear at church in wedding costume just as she did on that blissful day when—
Hush Ill do anything you like only hush whispered Agatha Harrie laughed and said something about sparing her blushes There were none to spare—she was as pale as death What appear before her husband dressed as on the morning when if not altogether a happy bride she at least had the hope of making her bridegroom happy and the comfort of believing that he loved her and would love her always The mere thought of this sent a coldness through all her frame
Nathanael said You told me this before Harriet It is an idle custom but neither my wife nor myself would wish to go against the world or the ways of our own people Arrange it as Agatha says according as you like
He had then heard her whisper—he had seen her paleness How had he interpreted both
The churchbells began to ring again and Harrie prepared to vanish though not until she had dressed Agatha scanned her from top to toe vowed the bonnet did not become her a bit and that she looked as white as if she were again about to go through the formidable marriageservice
A sad pity—because today youll be looked at a great deal more than the clergyman We are a terribly inquisitive town and weddings are scarce at Kingcombe—Take your wife Nathanael There you go—a very handsome interesting young couple Nay dont cheat the townsfolk by taking the garden way
Do pray entreated Agatha of her husband Dont let the people see us
You foolish child cried Harrie as she made herself invisible through the frontdoor throwing back her last words as an unconscious parting sting Folks will think you are ashamed of your husband
Agatha took no notice nor did Nathanael Silently they walked to church the garden way which led them out opposite the eastern door Entering with his wife on his arm his bare head erect though the eyes were lowered his whole face still and steadfast but looking much older since his marriage—Mr Harper was a man of whom no one need be ashamed His wife glanced at him and in spite of all her sorrow walked proudly up the aisle—prouder far than on her weddingday She never thought of herself or of the people looking at her And—Heaven forgive her poor child—for the moment she never thought of Whose temple she was entering until the clergymans serious voice arose proclaiming those sacrifices which are a broken spirit Then her spirit sank down broken within her and under her thick white veil and upon her white velvet bridal Prayerbook fell tears many and bitter The poorest charitygirl that stared at her from the gallery would not that day have envied the bride
Service over out of the church they went as they had come arminarm the congregation holding back all watching but from some mysterious etiquette which must be left to the Kingcombeites to elucidate no one venturing to speak to Mr and Mrs Locke Harper The Squires household did not attend this church nor the Dugdales either so that the young people walked home without speaking to a soul and scarcely to each other They were both very grave A word perhaps from either would have unlocked a heart flood but the word was not spoken They met at the gate of the cottage Mrs Dugdale and her boys Soon all the solemn influences of the temple passed away They were in the world once more—the hard bitter erring world
We are come in to see Auntie Agatha and Uncle Nathanael said Harrie as the children stood rather awestruck by Mrs Harpers dazzling appearance And we are going to take both back with us for dinner as you promised Early country dinner my dear which cant by any means be eaten in those fine clothes
I will take them off And her foot was on the stairs
Stay dont you see your husband looking at you Let me look too—we are never likely to see you dressed as a bride again
Agatha paused but Mr Harper had already turned away His gaze—would she had seen it but she did not—was ended
She ran upstairs she looked in the glass once more at the vision which from the age of childhood almost every girl beholds herself in fancy—the dazzling white silk orangeflowers and lace trappings of a day never to be again worn Then she tore them off wildly—desperately wishing one minute that she could bury them in the earth out of her sight and again wrapping them up tenderly as we wrap up clothes that are now nothing but empty garments from which the form thatfilled them has vanished evermore
Afterwards she dressed herself in ordinary matronly garb and came down with matronly aspect to Harry and the little boys
A midday country dinner eaten in peace and quietness where people keep Sunday in Christian fashion—at least externally—where no visitors come in and no gay evening reunions put an unholy close to the holy day when the father of the family gathers his children round him in the long sleepy afternoons or takes a walk with them in the summertwilight while all the neighbours are safe in church after which as a great treat the elder ones sit up to supper and the little ones are put to bed by mammas own hands then pleasant weariness perhaps some brief evening prayer sincere without cant—the household separates—the house darkens—and the day of rest ends
This was the way they kept Sunday at the Dugdales It was something new to Agatha and she liked it much She threw herself into the domestic ways as if she had been used to them all her life and specially made herself popular with the father and the little ones Marmaduke looked benevolently upon his sisterinlaw seemed quite to forget she was a young lady and even was heard to call her my child four times—at which she was very pleased and proud Over and over again with youths wild thirst to be happy she tried to forget the weight on her life and plunge into a temporary gaiety Sometimes she even caught herself laughing outright as she played with the children for no one can be miserable always especially at nineteen But whenever she looked up or was silent or paused to think the image of her husband came like a cloud between her and her mirth No—she never could be really happy
Nathanael was all day very quiet and abstracted He did not romp with his little nephews and only smiled when Harrie teased him for this unusual omission of avuncular privilege Once Agatha saw him sitting with the youngest little girl fast asleep against his shoulder he looking over her babycurls with a pensive troubled eye an eye which seemed gazing into the future to find there—nothing A strange thrill quivered through Agathas heart to see him so sitting with that child
After tea Mrs Dugdale proposed turning out of doors all the masculine half of the family except the infant Brian before whom loomed the terrific prospect of bed So off they started Gus being seen to snatch frantically at Pas hand and Fred sublime in his first jacket walking alongside with an air and grace worthy of the uncle whose name he bore
There they go cried Mrs Dugdale looking fondly after them Not badlooking lads either considering that Pa isnt exactly a beauty But pshaw what does that signify I think my Dukes the very nicest face I know Dont you Agatha
Agatha warmly acquiesced She had entirely got over the first impression of Dukes plainness And moreover she was learning day by day that mysterious secret which individualises one face out of all the world and makes its very deficiencies more lovely than any other features charm She could fully sympathise with Harries harmless weakness and agreed—looking at Brian who in fact strongly resembled his father angelicised into childhood keeping the same beautiful expression which needed no change—that if Mr Dugdales sons grew up like him in all points the world would be none the worse but a great deal the better
Thus talking—which little Brian seemed actually to understand for he stood at her knee gazing up with miraculously merry eyes—Agatha watched her sisterinlaws Sunday duty religiously performed of putting the younger two to bed while the nurses went to church or took walks with their sweethearts For as Harrie sagely observed the maidens as we call them in Dorsetshire the maidens will fall in love as well as we
So chattering merrily—while she dashed water over Miss Babys white round limbs and let Brian caper wildly about the nursery clad in all sorts of halfcostumes or no costume at all—Mrs Dugdale initiated Agatha into various arcana belonging to motherhood and mistressofafamilyhood The other listened eagerly so eagerly that she could have laughed at herself remembering what she was six months before To think that tomorrow she must begin her housekeeping—she who knew no more of such things than a child She snatched at all sorts of knowledge talked over butchers and bakers and house expenses and Kingcombe ways of marketing taking an interest in the most commonplace things For pervading everything was the consciousness It is his home I have to make comfortable That thought sanctified and beautified all
You are quite right my dear said Harrie pausing in her walk up and down patting and singing to Baby who stared with open eyes over her shoulder and obstinately declined going to sleep You will turn out a notable woman I see Its a curious and melancholy fact which we dont ever learn till we are married that all the love in the world is thrown away upon a man unless you make him comfortable at home A neat house and a creditable dinner every day go more to his heart than all the sentimental devotion you can give Its all very well for a man in love to live upon roses and posies and kisses and blisses but after he is married he dearly likes to be comfortable
Agatha was silent for a moment hardly venturing to believe and yet afraid she must I heard Miss Valery once say that no mans love after marriage is exactly as it was before it that the thing attained soon loses its preciousness and that the wife has to assume a new character and win another kind of love I wonder if this is true I wonder—and suddenly she changed her seriousness for the tone of raillery she always used with Harrie Dugdaie—I wonder whether our husbands adore us first and afterwards expect us to adore them
So they do I assure you they do And a pretty amount of adoring and waiting upon your husband will require I wouldnt for the whole universe have my Duke such an awfully exacting particular provoking disagreeably good or inexplicably naughty animal as my brother Nathanael
Mrs Dugdaie Agatha hardly knew whether to laugh or to be indignant She only knew that she felt ready to spring up like a chained tigress when anybody said a word against Mr Harper
There now dont waken the baby Keep yourself quiet do See theres its husband coming down the street to comfort it He is looking up here too Run down doee now and if shell be a good girl she shall have the neatest household and the best husband in Kingcombe—always excepting mine
Agatha did not run down but she leant over the landing and heard the footsteps and voices in the hall—steps and voices which always seem to put new life into a house where its ruler is dear to the hearts of wife and children Troubled as she was—laden with even a new weight since the talk with Mrs Dugdale—Agatha listened and felt that in spite of all the house seemed brighter for the entrance of her husband She tried to catch what he was saying but only heard the voice of Mr Dugdaie
Of course as you say its necessary But really tomorrow—so soon—and for such a long time too Couldnt both go together
Nathanael made some inaudible reply
To be sure you know best But—poor young thing—I wonder what my Harrie would have said to me Poor pretty little thing
The words the manner startled Agatha She could not make them out She descended looking alarmed uneasy—a look which did not wear off all the rest of the evening
In leaving she wondered why Mr Dugdale woke from his dreaminess to bid her goodnight with a fatherly air addressing her more than once by his superlative of kindness My child When she took her husbands arm to go out of the lighted hallinto the night Agatha trembled as if something were going to happen—she knew not what
The street was very dark for Kingcombe people were economisers in gas and besides kept such primitive hours that at ten oclock you might walk from one end of the town to the other and not see a light in any house There was not a soul abroad except these two and their feet echoed loudly along the pavement At first Agatha blinded by coming out of light into darkness saw nothing but stumbled on clinging tightly to her husband At length she perceived whereabouts they were—the black quaintlygabled houses the marketcross and far above the sleepy town and its deserted streets the bright wonderfully bright stars
Agatha took comfort when she saw the stars
Have we far to go I am rather tired she said to her husband chiefly for the sake of saying something
Tired are you Then you must have a quiet day tomorrow It will be very quiet I doubt not and he sighed
Why so What is to be done tomorrow Shall you have to ride over to Thornhurst
No I saw Anne Valery yesterday I shall not see her again for a good while
Indeed
There is business requiring me in Cornwall Tomorrow I am going away
Going away The words were little more than a sigh She felt all cold and numb for the moment Then a sudden flood of the old impetuous pride came over her Going away Leaving his young wife Leaving her alone in her new home—alone the second day to be wondered at and pointed at and pitied Perhaps he did it to humble and punish her It was cruel—cruel And again the demon or angel—which took such various forms that she hardly knew the true one—rose up rampant within her
Mr Harper this is sudden—will look strange You ought to have told me before
I did not know it myself until last night That my going to Cornwall is necessary on business grounds I have already made clear to Marmaduke He will tell his wife and Harriet will tell all the world I have so arranged that you will have no difficulty of any kind This house will go on as usual or you can visit at Thornhurst and at my fathers There will be no loss to you of anything or anybody—except one whose absence must be welcome Welcome she repeated in an accent of bitter scorn
You said so yourself Hush do not say it again When we part let it be in peace
He spoke in a smothered exhausted voice and holding the gate open for her to pass leaned upon it as if he could hardly stand But Agatha perceived nothing—she was dizzy and blind
Peace she repeated driven mad by the mockery of the word She saw the door halfopen the warm light glimmering within the hall—so soft—so homelike The torture was too strong—her senses began to give way
Without knowing what she did without any settled purpose except to escape from the misery of that sight Agatha pushed her husband from her turned and fled—fled anywhere no matter where so that it was into night and darkness away from her home and from him
She did not know the way she only knew that she ran up one street and down another like the wind Her state of mind was bordering on insanity At length she paused from sheer exhaustion and leaned against a doorway—like any poor outraged homeless wretch
The good man of the house came softly out to look up into the quiet night before he bolted his door He stood musing contemplating the stars It was a minute or more before he noticed the bowed human form beside him When he did there was no mistaking the compassionate voice
Eh poor soul Whats wrong wiee
Agatha sprang up with a cry There were two standing by her from whose presence she would gladly have run to the worlds end—Mr Dugdale and her husband The one remained petrified with astonishment—the other said but three words in a dull mechanical voice as if every feeling had been struck out of the man by some thunderbolt of doom
Agatha come home
Again she tried to burst from him and fly but her arm was caught and Marmaduke Dugdales grave look—the look he fixed upon his own children when they erred constraining them always into repentance and goodness—was reading her inmost soul
Go home poor child Ill not tell of you or him Go home with your husband
She felt her hand laid or grasped—she knew not which—in that of Nathanael who held it with invincible firmness There was no resisting that clasp She rose up and followed him as if led by an invisible chain Her madness had passed and left only a dull indifference to everything The die was cast she had laid open the miseries of their home had disgraced him and herself before the world It signified little where she went or what she did they were utterly separated now
Without again speaking or taking notice of Mr Dugdale she suffered Nathanael to lead her away passing swiftly down the silent streets Neither husband nor wife uttered a single word
The moment she entered the house she walked upstairs slowly that he might not see her tottering went into her own room and locked her door with a loud fierce turning of the key that seemed to shriek as it turned
There for almost an hour she sat motionless The maid half asleep came to the door with a light but Agatha bade her set it down and sat in the dark Dark—altogether dark within and without with no hope or repentance or even the heroism of suffering wrathful sullen miserable wronged—yet conscious that she had sinned as much as she was sinned against seeing her husband and herself stand as it were on either edge of a black gulf hourly widening yet neither having strength to plunge it to the others side
Here she sat upright and still body and soul wrapped in a leaden shroudlike darkness until gradually a stupor possessed her brain
I am so tired she murmured I must go to sleep He will not leave till tomorrow But it does not signify Nothing signifies I must go to sleep
She unlocked the door and drew in the candle flaring in its socket She had to press her fingers on her eyeballs before they could bear the light all was so very dark She Sotted her hair up anyhow took off her clothes and crept to bed almost as if she were creeping to her tomb The fragment of candle went out sinking instantaneously like a soul quenched out of existence and all was total darkness In that darkness a heavy hand seemed to lay itself on Agathas brain and press down her eyelids Scarcely two minutes after she was asleep
Hour after hour of the night went by and there was not a sound not a breath in the room The late moon rose and gave a little glimmer of light through the curtains Now and then there was a faint noise of some one moving in the house but Agatha never stirred She slept heavily as some people invariably sleep under the pressure of great pain
Towards morning when moonlight and dawn were melted together and the room was growing light enough to discern faces there was a step at the door and a ray flashing through the opening for Agatha had left it ajar
Nathanael set down the candle outside and came in softly He was dressed for a journey—evidently just ready to start He looked very ill sleepless and worn
Standing a minute at the door he listened to his wifes breathing low and regular as that of a child Nature and repose had soothed her she slept now as quietly and healthfully as if she had never known trouble Her husband crept across the room very carefully and remained watching her Oh the contrast between the one who watched and the one who slept
At first he stood perfectly upright rigid and motionless
Then his hands twisted themselves together and his eyes grew hot bursting His lips moved as in speaking though with never a sound It was the dumbness—the choking dumbness of that emotion which made it so terrible Such silence could not last—he seemed to feel it could not—and so moved backward out of hearing There he stood for a little while leaning against the wall his hand bound tightly over his forehead and sighing so bitterly sighing—that gasp which bursts from men who have no tears
At length he became calmer but still stood without the door He even moved the candle further off as though afraid its glare might disturb the sleeper—forgetful that the room was now growing all bright with daybreak At this moment the clock striking in the hall below made him start
Hastily he took out a paper that he had hid somewhere about him It was in his own handwriting all sealed and endorsed Not to be opened except in case of my death Nevertheless he tore it open—tore likewise an undercover addressed to his wife and began to read
I know you never loved me From something I overheard on our marriageday—from other words afterwards let fall in anger by my brother I also know that you loved—
He crushed the paper his eyes seeming literally to flame Then all the fury died out of them and left nothing but tenderness He listened for the soft breathing within—soft and pure
No he murmured I will not leave her honour to the chance of written words No other human being must ever know what I knew If I live it is not worse than it was before and should any harm come to me let her think I died in ignorance Better so
He tore the paper into small strips and deliberately burnt them one by one in the candle making a little pile of the ashes but afterwards scattering them about the fireplace Then putting out the light—for the house was now filled with the soft grey dawn—Nathanael stepped once more into his wifes room
And still she was sleeping—sleeping at the very crisis of her fate Her face was composed and sweet though her hands were still clenched and one of them almost buried in her loose hair
Her husband stood and looked at her trying long to keep himself firm and selfrestrained as though she were aware of his presence But at last the holy helplessness of sleep subdued him From standing upright he sank gradually down—down—till he was crouching on his knees Shudder over shudder came over him—sigh after sigh rose up and was smothered again in his breast At last even the strong mans strength gave way and there fell a heavy silent burning rain
And all the while the wife slept and never knew how he loved her
After a while this ceased Nathanael opened his eyes and tried to look once more calmly on his wife She stirred a little in sleep and began to smile—a very soft meek innocent smile that softened her lips into infantine sweetness She was again Agatha the merry Agatha as she had been when he first saw her before he wooed her and shook her roughly from her girlish calm into all the struggles of life He could have cursed himself—and yet—yet he loved her
Kneeling he put his arm softly over her Another moment and he would have yielded to the frantic impulse and snatched her to his heart for one—just one embrace—heedless of her waking But how would she wake only to hate and reproach him He had better leave her thus and carry away in his remembrance that picture of peace which blotted out all her bitter words all her cruel want of love—made him forget everything except that she had been the wife of his bosom and his first love
He drew back his arm gradually and noiselessly He did not attempt to kiss her not even her hand lest he should disturb her but kneeling laid his hand on the pillow by hers and pressed his lips to her hair
I am glad she sleeps—yes very glad She is quite content now she will be quite happy when I am gone God love thee and take care of thee—my darling—my Agatha
A Husbands Farewell P280
Kissing her hair once again he rose up and went away
As he departed the first sunbeam came in and danced upon the bed showing Agatha fast asleep sleeping still She never woke until it had been broad day for a long time and the sun creeping over her pillow struck her eyes
Then she started up with a loud cry—she had been dreaming Tears were wet upon her cheek She called wildly for her husband It was too late
He had been gone at least three hours
CHAPTER XXI
Mrs Harper—Missus—theres a carriage at the door
Say I am not at home
She had given the same sullen answer to every visitor for four weeks shutting herself up in stern seclusion determined that whatever cruel comments they made the neighbourhood should have no power of spying into the mystery of that poor Mrs Locke Harper who did not live happy with her husband For so she felt sure had been the result of that fatal betrayal to her brotherinlaw Since as Harrie had once said Duke never could keep a secret in his life But even his own wife could not thoroughly fathom the good heart of Marmaduke Dugdale
Not at home repeated Dorcas who had been very faithful to her young mistress Not when its Miss Valery who has been so ill Oh Missus doee see Miss Valery
Mrs Harper hesitated and during that time her visitor entered uninvited
So Agatha as you did not come to see me I have come at last to see you
I am sorry—
What to see me said Anne smiling But the voice was weak and the smile had a sickly beauty Agatha was struck by a change slight yet perceptible which had come over Miss Valery
I hear you have been ill—will you take the armchair Are you better to day
Oh yes returned Anne briefly she was never much in the habit of talking about herself But you my dear how have you been this long time Come and let me look at you
It is not worth while Never mind me Talk of something else
Of your husband then When did you hear from him
Last week
And is he quite well Will you give a message to him from me when you write again
I never write
Miss Valery looked surprised pained Evidently to her sickroom had reached the vaguest possible hints of what had happened Or else Anne must have refused to hear or credit what she was persuaded was an impossible falsehood In all good hearts scandal unrepeated unbelieved dies a natural death
To Mrs Harpers brief sharp sentence there was no reply her guest turned to other topics
Harriet Dugdale comes home tomorrow It is not often she takes it into her head to pay a three weeks visit from home You must have missed her a good deal
No I did not I have never been outside the garden
Was that quite right my dear And your sistersinlaw complain bitterly that you will not go to Kingcombe Holm
They should have taken more trouble in coming to ask me
Nay in this world we should not judge too harshly We cannot see into any ones motives There may have been reasons I know the Squire has not been at all well and Mary has spent her whole time in watching him and in coming to Thornhurst to nurse me
Have you been so very ill then I wish—I wish—
That you also had come to see me Well you will come now Not today for I am going to use this lovely autumn morning in taking a journey
Whither
To Weymouth opposite the Isle of Portland
After this answer both were silent Agatha was thinking of the night when her husband rode to Weymouth Anne was thinking—of what
At length she put her thoughts aside and turned to watch the young wife who had fallen into a sullen absent mood
Does your house please you Agatha It is very pretty I think
Yes very I do not complain Would you like to look over it Or shall I give you some cake and wine That is the fashion I believe when a visitor first comes to see a bride in her new home
The bitterness the sarcasm of her manner were pitiful to see Anne Valery watched her sadly yet not hopelessly There was in the calm of that pale face a clearness of vision which pierced through many human darknesses to the light behind
She only said Thank you I will take some wine I like to keep up good old customs—and waited while Mrs Harper with a quick excited manner and a countenance that changed momentarily did the first honours of her household So sad it was to see her doing it all alone More widowlike than bridelike
As she came up with the wineglass Miss Valery caught her hand holding it firmly in defiance of Agathas slight effort to get free
Wait a minute for my good wishes to the bride May God bless you Not with fortune which is oftentimes only a curse—
That is true muttered Agatha bitterly
Not with perfect freedom from care for that is impossible or if possible would not be good for you Every one of us must bear our own burden and we can bear it if we love one another
Agathas lips were set together
If continued Anne firmly—If we love any one with sincerity and faithfulness we are sure to reap our reward some time If any love us and we believe it and trust them they are sure to come out clear from all clouds our own beloved true to the end Therefore Agatha above all blessings may God bless you with love May you be happy in your husband and make him happy May you live to see your home merry and full—not silent—may you die among your children and your own people—not alone
The sudden solemnity of this blessing enhanced by the feebleness of the voice that uttered it awoke strange emotions in Agatha She threw herself on her knees by the armchair where Anne lay back—now faint and pale
Oh if you had been near me—if I had known you always and you had brought me up and made a good woman of me
Perhaps I ought murmured Anne thoughtfully But just then it would have been so hard—so hard
What are you saying Say it again All your words are good words Tell me
Nothing dear Except—here Miss Valery raised herself with a sudden effort mental and bodily—Agatha will you go with me to Weymouth
If you like Anywhere to be with you I am sick of myself
We all are at times especially when we are young and do not quite understand ourselves or others The feeling passes away But as to Weymouth—do you still dislike to go near the sea
Yes—no I will try to bear it I think I could by your side And you shall not go alone on any account
Thank you said Anne taking her hand So they went
An innocent line of railway darted past Kingcombe in the vain hope of waking that somnolent town It was a pleasant whirl across the usual breezy flats of moorland by some meadows where a network of serpentine streams flashed in the sun Agatha felt more like her own self with her the spirit of Nature was always an exorciser of internal demons and Annes conversation aided the beneficent work
At Dorchester they took a carriage and drove across the country to Weymouth
Are you not getting weary you looked so but lately said Agatha to Miss Valery
Not at all I feel strong now Her eyes and cheeks were indeed very bright she leaned forward and gazed eagerly around
This Weymouth seems familiar to you Miss Valery
Yes we used to come here every summer—Mr and Mrs Harper and the children and I until she died She was as good as a mother or an elder sister—here Anne hesitated but repeated the words—like an elder sister—to me We were all very happy in those times It is a great blessing Agatha to have had a happy childhood Where did you spend yours
Agatha looked uneasy Chiefly in London—I told you
But before then when you were a very little girl
I do not know Dont let us talk about that
Not if you do not wish it Annes eyes which had watched her closely turned away and after a few minutes were riveted on a line of blue sea sweeping round a distant headland and curving off to the horizon As she looked she became very pale and shivered Agatha hardly noticed her being so busy examining the new regions into which they now entered—the ordinary High Street of an ordinary country town The sea view had vanished
Suddenly the carriage turned a corner and they burst upon the shore of Weymouth Bay A great blue glittering bay with two white headlands shutting it in the tide running high the waves dashing themselves furiously against the seawall of the esplanade breaking into showers of spray and curling back into the foaming whirl below
Agatha started and put her hands before her eyes I know that sight—I remember that sound Oh where is this place why did you bring me here
At this cry Miss Valery roused from her momentary fit of abstraction took hold of Agathas hand The girl was trembling violently
My dear I did not expect this or you should not have come here This is Weymouth Now do you remember
How should I Was I ever here before She peered from under her hand at the sparkling sea No it is not like that sea it is too bright Yet I hear the same roll against the same wall It is very foolish but I wish we could get away
Presently said Annes soothing voice We must drive along this shore and then we will get out at an inn I know and rest
Her manner her expression as she fixed her eyes full upon her struck Agatha with an indescribable feeling She looked eagerly at Miss Valery trying to read in that worn face some likeness to the one which had impressed her childish memory with almost angelic beauty
Tell me—you say you have been often here—did you ever one stormy day follow a ship that was outward bound You were in a little boat and the ship was standing out to sea round that point—and—
She stopped for Annes face was livid to the very lips Agatha forgot her own question and its purport
Stop the carriage Let me hold you Dear—dear Miss Valery you are worn out—you are fainting
No—I never faint—I am only tired Dont speak to me for a minute or two and I shall be well
With a long sigh she forcibly brought life back to her cheeks—a feeble life at best Agatha watching her was smitten by a dread which now entered her mind for the first time driving thence all personal feelings and making her gaze with sorrowful anxiety on the friend beside her who had been all day so cheerful and kind And she thought with a remorse amounting to positive horror that she herself during that day had more than once spoken sharply even to Anne Valery
A great awe came upon her reflecting how often we unconsciously walk handinhand and talk of our own petty earthly trials with those whose souls wings are already growing already stirring with the air that comes to bear them to the unseen land
It was a relief indescribable when leisurely strolling along the pavement she saw among many strange faces one that seemed familiar The hands knotted loosely at his back the light hair straggling out from under the hat that was pushed far up from the forehead—no she could not be mistaken She uttered a cry of pleasure
Look look there he is I am certain it is he
Anne started violently
Mr Dugdale Mr Dugdale Agatha called out
He came up to the carriage with the most lengthened E—h that she had ever heard him utter What brought you two here This bleak day too Very wrong of Anne
But she would come She said she wanted a breath of seaair and I think besides she has business
No interrupted Anne no business except bringing Agatha to see Weymouth Now shall we rest and have some tea at the inn Youll come with us Mr Dugdale
Yes I want to speak to you Anne Ive got news about—that little affair you know of That was why I came to Weymouth today Eh now—just look there
With a countenance brimful of pleasure he came to Miss Valerys side and pointed to a steamer that lay in the offing
Its the Anna Mary She made the passage from New York in no time Ive been aboard her already I fancied I might find him there Now what do you think Anne
Is he come said Anne in a steady voice She had quite recovered herself now
No—not this time But he will sail for certain by the next New York packet to Havre
Thank God It was a very low answer—just a sigh and nothing more
And we have satisfactorily ended all that business which you first put into my head continued Duke rubbing his hands with great glee It was a risk certainly but then it was for him My children will never be a bit the poorer
No murmured Anne Valery to herself
And think what an election we shall have With him to make speeches for Trenchard and argue in this wonderful way about Freetrade and tell the farmers all about Canadian wheat Glorious
What are you both talking about cried Agatha who had been considerably puzzled Do let me hear if it is not a secret
No secret said Anne turning round speaking clearly and composedly and not at all like a sick person Mr Brian Harper is coming home
Agatha clapped her hands for joy
When they dismounted from the carriage and had ordered tea at the inn Anne still seemed quite strong She said it was the seabreeze that brought life to her and stood at the open window gazing over the bay Agatha thought she had never seen Miss Valerys face so near looking beautiful as now it was the faint reflex of girlhoods brightness like the zodiacal light which the sun casts on the sky long after he has gone down
After tea—at which meal Mr Dugdale did not appear a fact that nobody wondered at since he was left to wander about Weymouth at his own sweet will without Harrie to catch him and remind him that there was such a thing as time likewise such sublunary necessities as eating and drinking—after tea Miss Valery and Mrs Harper sat at the window together
It was only an innwindow the panes scribbled over with many names and it lighted an ordinary innparlour looking on the esplanade Yet it was a pleasant seat quiet too for the town was almost deserted as wintertime came on The bay smoothed by the ebbing tide lay like crystal under a sky where sunset and moonlight mixed Agatha ventured to look at the sea now She beheld with a curious interest a sight till now so unfamiliar taking a childish pleasure in watching the great white arm of moonrays stretch further and further across the water changing the ripples into molten silver and making ethereal and ghostlike every little boat that glided through them
Byandby came a group of wandering musicians playing very respectably as German streetmusicians always do They converted the dark esplanade and the shabby innparlour into a fairy picture of visible and audible romance
It is quite like a scene in a play said Agatha laughing and trying to make Miss Valery laugh She could not see her clearly in the moonlight but she did not like her sitting so quiet and silent
Yes very like a play with Herz mein Herz for a serenade What a sweet old tune it is
I used to sing it once And Agatha began following the instruments with her voice No I cant sing I could sooner cry
Why Are you sorrowful
No—happy Yet all feels strange very strange She crept to Miss Valery wrapped her arms round her waist and laid her head timidly on her shoulder Anne drew her nearer with a more caressing manner than she ever used to any one Agatha Harper seemed that night of all nights to lie very near her heart
Herz mein Herz died faintly away down the esplanade there was nothing but the glitter of the bay and the moon climbing higher and higher above the Isle of Portland
Anne spoke at last amidst the halfplayful halftender caresses that were so dear to Agatha who had never known what it was to be calmly and safely in a mothers arms Lying thus seemed most like it
Do you think I care for you Agatha my child
I cannot tell Perhaps not for I am not good enough to deserve it
Do you know what first made me care for you
No—unless it was for the sake of my husband
Anne gave no reply and her husbands name plunged Agatha into such a maze of painful thought that she was for a long time altogether silent
Shall I tell you a story Agatha
Anything—anything to keep me from thinking
If I do it is one you must not tell again unless to Nathanael for I would put no secrets between husband and wife
Ah that is right—that is kind Would that he had thought the same
What did you say dear
Nothing Nothing of any consequence Dont mind me Go on
It is a history which I think it right and best to tell you You will both need to keep it sacred for a little while—not for very long
As she spoke a shudder passed through Annes frame Was it the involuntary shrinking of mortality in sight of immortality
Shortly afterwards she began to talk in her usual sweet tone—perhaps a shade more serious
There were once two friends—three I should say but the third far less intimate than the other two Something happened—it is now too long ago to signify what—which made the elder of the first two angry with his dearest friend and the other He went away suddenly writing word to his friend—his own—that he should sail next day leaving England for ever
That was wrong cried Agatha People ought never to be passionate and unjust in friendship It was very wrong
Hush you do not know all the circumstances you cannot judge Anne answered hastily His friend who greatly honoured him and knew what pain his loss would bring to many wished to prevent his going She—
It was a woman then
Yes
And were they only friends
They were friends repeated Miss Valery in a tone which doubtful as the answer was made Agatha feel she had no right to inquire further
She never knew how much he cared for her until that last letter he wrote just after he had gone away On receiving it she followed him—which she had a right to do—to the place he mentioned a seaport from which he was to sail When she reached it the vessel had already heaved anchor and was standing out to sea She saw it—the very ship he was on board—in the middle of the bay
The bay Was it then—
Hush dear just for a little—I cannot speak long It was a stormy day and few boats would go out However there was on the beach a woman who was also very eager to catch the vessel Together they managed to get a boat and embarked—this lady I speak of—the woman and a little girl
Agatha listened with painful avidity
It was not the womans own child or she could not have been so careless of it It was tossed into the bottom of the boat and lay there crying The lady felt sorry for it and took it in her arms They had gone but a little way from the shore when it was playing about her quite happy again While playing—she looking at the ship and not watching the little thing as she ought to have done—the child fell overboard
A loud sob burst from Agatha
Hush still hush my darling The child was saved The ship sailed away but the child—you know that she was saved I am thankful to God it was so
Anne wrapped her arms tightly round the sobbing girl and after a few moments she also wept
I remember it all now cried Agatha as soon as she found words—the shore the headlands the bay I was that little child and it was you who saved me
Anne made no answer but by pressing her closer
I felt it the first moment I ever saw you I never forgot you—never But how did you know me
Was I likely ever to lose sight of that little child And also years before I had once or twice met your father—though this would have been nothing But from that day I felt that you belonged to me And now since you are become a Harper you do
Agatha embraced her and then suddenly looked mournful—But yourself Tell me did you ever again meet your—your friend
No answer A slight movement of the lips sufficed to explain the whole
And it was all through me cried Agatha to whom that soft smile was agony And what have I done in requital I have lived a useless erring life I have suffered—oh how I have suffered Far better I had been left lying at the bottom of that quiet bay Why did God let you save me
That you might grow up a good and noble woman fulfilling worthily the life He spared and giving it back into His hands in His time as a true and faithful servant Dare not to murmur at His will—dare not to ask why He saved you Agatha Harper
Saying this as sternly as Anne Valery could speak—she tried to put Agatha from her breast but the girl held her too fast
Oh do not cast me away I have nobody in the world but you Forgive me Guide my life which I owe you and make it worth your saving Love me—teach my husband to love me If you knew how miserable I am and may be always
No one is miserable always returned Anne faintly as she leaned back her hands dropping down cold and listless We grow content in time We shall all be—very happy—some day
She spoke with hesitation and difficulty The next minute in spite of her declaration that she never fainted Miss Valery had become insensible
CHAPTER XXII
What up and dressed already without sending for me Did you not promise last night that I should do everything for you just as if I were your child How very naughty you are Miss Valery
Agatha spoke rather crossly it was a relief to speak so Anne turned round—she was sitting at the window of the inn bedchamber looking on Weymouth Bay
Am I naughty And you have assumed the right to scold me That is quite a pleasure I have had no one to scold me for a great many years
There was a certain pathos running through her cheerfulness which made Agathas heart burst She had lain awake half the night thinking of Anne Valery and had guessed or put together many things which made her come with uncontrollable emotion into the presence of her whose fate had been so knotted up with her own For that this circumstance had in some way or other brought about Annes fate—the one fate of a womans life—Agatha could not doubt Neither could she doubt who was this friend But she said nothing—she felt she had no right
Dont look at the sea please Look at me Tell me how you feel this morning
Well—quite well We will go home today What did you tell Mr Dugdale last night
Only what you desired me—that being wearied you felt inclined to stay the night at Weymouth
That was right—Look Agatha how beautiful the sea is I must teach you not to be afraid of it any more Next year—
She paused hesitated put her hand to her heart as she often did and ceased to speak but Agatha eagerly continued the sentence
Next year we will come and stay here you and I or perhaps as a very great favour well admit one or two more Next year when you are quite strong remember We will be very happy next year
She repeated the words strongly resolutely dinning them into Miss Valerys ear but she only won for answer that silent smile which went to her heart like an arrow She rushed for safety to the commonplaces of life to the quick hasty speeches which relieved her She began to be very cross about some delay in breakfast
Never mind me dear said Annes quieting tones I am quite well and want nothing Only let us sit still and look at the sea And she drew her from her eager bustling about the innparlour to the place where they had both sat the previous night Agatha balanced herself on the arm of the chair determined she would not be serious for an instant and would not let Anne talk Yet both resolutions were broken ere long Perhaps it was the bright stillness of the sea view sliding away round the headland into infinity which impressed her in spite of herself Still she struggled against her feelings
I will not have you so grave Miss Valery Mind I will not
Am I grave Nay only quiet and so happy Do you know what it is to be quite content with everything in ones life—past present and to come knowing that all is overruled for good forgiving everybody and loving everybody
Agatha linked her arms tighter round Miss Valerys neck
Dont talk in that way or look in that way—dont Be wicked Speak cross I will not have you an angel I will not feel your wings growing Ill tear them out There
She laughed—laughed with brimming eyes—until she sobbed again Her feelings had been on the stretch for hours and now gave way Anne bent down from her serenity to notice and soothe the wayward child
Poor little thing she wants taking care of as much as anybody When will her husband come home
Never—never cried Agatha hardly knowing what she said I shall lose him—you—all
Miss Valery smiled—the composed smile of one who ascending a mountain sees the lowland mazes around laid out distinct and clear and looks over them to their ending
Yes my child he will come back Absence breaks slender ties but it rivets strong ones Have faith in him People like him if they once love love always He will come back
There was a great light in Miss Valerys countenance which irresistibly attracted Agatha She dried her eyes forgot her own personal cares and listened to the comforter
Think how much we love those that are away Once perhaps we used to vex and slight them and be cross with them but now we carry them in our hearts always We forget everything bitter and remember only the sweet how good they were and how dearly we loved them Our thoughts and prayers follow them continually flying over and about them like wandering angels that must be laden with good And all this loving—all this waiting—all this praying year after year—I mean day after day—she suddenly turned to Agatha Be content my child He will come back
Agatha made no reply She was not thinking of herself just then She was thinking of the life compared to which her own nineteen commonplace years sank into nothingness of the love beside which that feeling she had so called looked mean and poor of the patient endurance—what was her patience And yet she had fancied that never was woman so tried as Agatha Harper
With a resolve as sudden as brave and in her present state of mind to be brave at all it must needs be sudden Agatha determined to put herself and her troubles altogether aside and think only of those whom she loved
Come she said and rose up strong in the courage of selfdenial We will indulge in no more dreariness it is not good for you and I wont allow it my patient You shall be patient in every sense for a little while longer and then well all be very happy—all I say next year
With this declaration she made ready to carry her friend off to Kingcombe—to her own little house—where she was bent on detaining Anne prisoner Miss Valery declared herself quite willing to be thus bound for a day or two until she was strong enough to go to Kingcombe Holm
But Ill not let you go—Ill be jealous Why must you be wandering off to that dreary place
Its not dreary to me I always loved Kingcombe Holm and I must pay it one last visit before—before winter
But there is plenty of time returned Agatha hastily Why go just now
Because—Miss Valery spoke after a moments pause very steadfastly—Because I have reasons for so doing My old friend Mr Harper has a few strong prejudices some of them to the hurt of his brother and I wish to talk to him myself before Mr Brian Harper comes home
While Miss Valery said this name Agatha had carefully bent her eyes seaward In answering her colour rose—her manner was more troubled and hesitating by far than that of her companion
Go then I will not hinder you Nobody can feel more interest than I do in Uncle Brian When do you think he will be here
In three weeks most likely
Anne made no other remark nor did Agatha In a short time they were driving homeward along the margin of the bay That wellremembered bay the sight of which even now made Agatha feel as if she were dreaming over again the one awful event of her childhood And Anne—what felt she No wonder that she did not talk
They came to a spot where the formal esplanade merged into a lonely seaside walk leading towards the widening mouth of the bay and commanding the farthest view of the Channel as it curved down westward into the horizon Agatha turned pale
I remember it—that line of coast with the grey clouds over it I lay on these sands and afterwards when you fell I sat and cried over you This was the place and it was over that point that the ship disappeared
Anne was speechless
Agatha clasped her hand—they understood one another The next minute the carriage turned Miss Valery breathed a quick sigh and bent hurriedly forward but the glitter of the ocean had vanished—she had seen the last of Weymouth Bay
It was a weary journey for Anne seemed very feeble Her young nurse was thankful when the flashing network of streams told how near they were whirling towards Kingcombe As the train stopped Mrs Dugdale was visible on the platform Duke also not at the station—that being a degree of punctuality quite impossible—but a little way down the road
Well Miss Anne Valery and Mrs Locke Harper To be gallivanting about in this way I declare its quite disgraceful What have you to say for yourselves Here have I been running up to every train to meet you and tell you—
What Agathas cheek flushed with expectation Anne grew very white
Now Mrs Harper you need not be so hasty—tisnt your husband A great blessing if it were All the town is crying shame on him for staying away so long
Agatha threw a furious look at her sister and dragged Miss Valery along nor stopped till she saw the latter could hardly breathe or stand
Stay my child Harriet you should not say such things Nathanael is only absent on business—my business he will come home soon
These words uttered with difficulty calmed the rising storm Harrie laughingly begged pardon and was satisfied
Well the sooner Nathanael comes the better There was a gentleman last night wanting him
What gentleman
Cant tell He left no name A little wiry shrimp of a fellow who seemed to know all about our family Fred included so Duke in his ultra hospitality took the creature in for the night and this morning drove him over to Kingcombe Holm There dont let us bother ourselves about him How do you feel now Anne Quite well eh
Quite well Anne echoed in her cheerful voice that never had a tone of pain or complaining But it seemed to strike Mr Dugdale who had lounged up to her side His peculiarly gentle and observant look rested on her for a moment and then he offered her his arm an act of courtesy very rare in the absent Duke Dugdale Agatha walked on her other hand Harrie fluttering about them and talking very fast chiefly about the wonderful news of yesterday which her husband had just communicated
And a great shame not to tell me long before As if I did not care for Uncle Brian as much as anybody does What a Christmas we shall have—Uncle Brian Nathanael and Fred
Is Major Harper coming The question was from Anne
Elizabeth hopes so He surely will not disappoint Elizabeth And he must come to see Uncle Brian they were such friends you know All the middleaged oddities in Kingcombe are on the qui vive to see Uncle Brian and Fred They two were the finest young fellows in the neighbourhood people say and to think they should both come back miserable old bachelors Nobody married but my poor Duke Hurra
So she rattled on until they reached Agathas door One of the Kingcombe Holm servants stood there with the carriage Mrs Locke Harper was wanted immediately to dine at her fatherinlaws
I will not go I will not leave Miss Valery They dont often ask me—indeed I have never been since—No I will not go she added obstinately
Do entreated Anne who had sat down faint with a walk so short that no one thought of its fatiguing her—not even Agatha
T Squire do wantee very bad Missus Here And the old coachman almost as old as his master gave to Mrs Harper a note which was only the second she had ever received from her husbands father It was a crabbed ancient hand blotted and blurred then steadied resolutely into the preciseness of a schoolboy—one of those pathetic fragments of writing that irresistibly remind one of the trembling failing hand—the hand that once wrote brave loveletters
You are highly favoured my father rarely writes to any one What does he say cried Harrie rather jealous
Agatha read aloud
My dear Daughterinlaw Will you honour me by dining here today without fail I remain always your affectionate Father Nathanael Harper
Your affectionate Father repeated Mrs Dugdale He hardly ever signed that to me in his life though I am his very own daughter and his eldest too He never signed so to anybody but Fred Bah what a big blot He is almost past writing poor dear man Come Agatha you cannot refuse you must go
She must indeed echoed Anne Valery
Even though the Squire has been so rude as never to ask me or Duke though Duke saw him this very morning when he rode over to Kingcombe Holm to tell the news about Uncle Brian—Bless us Anne dont look so Is there anything astonishing in my fathers letter How very queer everybody seems today
Agatha felt Miss Valery draw her aside
You will surely go my dear since he wishes it
But if I dont wish it—if I had far rather stay with you Why are you so anxious for my leaving you
Are you angry with me again my child—Agatha clung to her fondly Then go Behave specially well to your husbands father And stay—say I am coming to see him tomorrow
But you cannot—you are not strong
Oh yes very strong Anne returned hastily Only go I will stay contentedly with Dorcas
Agatha went very much against her will She had shut herself up entirely for so long It was a torment to see any one above all her husbands family who of course were constantly talking and inquiring about him The stateliness of Kingcombe Holm chafed her beyond endurance Marys goodnatured regrets and Eulalies malicious prying condolings worst of all the penetration of Elizabeth She fancied that they and all Kingcombe were pointing the finger at poor Mrs Locke Harper
Pondering over all these things during the solitary drive her good resolutions faded out from her and her heart began to burn anew It was so hard
She crossed the hall—the same hall where she had alighted when Nathanael first brought her home It looked dusky and dim as then She almost expected to see him appear from some corner with his light quick step and his long fair hair
It was hard indeed—too hard She hurried through and never looked behind
Eulalie and Mary were sitting solemnly in the drawingroom
So you are come Mrs Harper We never thought you would come again We thought you would sit for ever pining in your cage till your mate came back again What a naughty wandering bird he is
Dont Eulalie No teasing I am sure we were all very sorry for your loneliness dear Agatha
Thank you for giving yourselves that trouble
Oh no trouble at all said the wellmeaning and simple Mary And we would have come to see you or fetched you here but I had to go so much to Thornhurst while Anne was ill and Eulalie—somehow—I dont know—but Eulalie is always busy
Eulalie whose hardest toil was looking in the glass and patting her dogs ears assented apologetically Perhaps she read something in her sisterinlaws face which showed her that Agatha was not to be trifled with
Will you go up and see Elizabeth She has often asked for you
Has she I will go after dinner briefly answered Agatha She would not be got rid of in that way
Shall we sit and talk then till my father comes in with that queer little man who has been with him all day about whom Mary and I have been vainly puzzling our brains Such an ugly little fellow and between you and me not quite a gentleman I wonder at papas asking him to stay and dine I shant do the civil to him you may
Thanks for the permission
Perhaps that is the very reason Papa sent for you continued Eulalie stretching herself out on the sofa The person said he knew you and asked Mary where you were living and whether you were very happy together you and your husband
Agatha rose abruptly dashing down a heavy volume that lay on her knee—she certainly had not a mild temper While she wavered between reining in her anger as she had last night vowed and pouring upon Eulalie all the storm of her roused passions—the door opened and Mr Harper entered with his muchdepreciated guest
The old gentleman was dressed with unusual care and walked with even more of slow stateliness than ordinary He met Agatha with his customary kindness
Welcome You have been somewhat of a stranger lately It must not happen again my dear And drawing her arm through his he faced the little ugly fellow of Eulalies dislike
Mr Grimes let me present you to my sons wife Mrs Locke Harper
You forget sir interrupted Grimes importantly I have long ago had that honour through Major—
The old Squire started put his hand to his forehead—Yes yes I did forget My memory sir—my memory is as good as ever it was
The sharp contradictory ending of his speech the colour rising to the old mans cheek and forehead whence it did not sink but lay steadily a heavy purple blotch attracted Agathas notice—certainly more than Mr Grimes did
I had the honour Mrs Harper said the latter bowing to be present when your marriage settlement was signed I had likewise the honour of preparing the deed by the wish and according to the express orders of Major Har—
That is sufficient interrupted the Squire Sir I never burden ladies with the wearisomeness of legal discussion—Did you drive or ride here Agatha
If you remember you sent the carriage for me
Yes yes—of course returned the old man It was a pleasant drive was it Your husband enjoyed it too
My husband is in Cornwall
Certainly I understand
Which was more than Agatha did She could not make him out at all The wandering eye dulled with more than mere age—for it had been his pride that the Harper eye always sparkled to the last the accidental twitches about the mouth which hung loosely and seemed unable to control its muscles above all the extraordinary and sudden lapse of a memory which had hitherto been wonderful for his years There was something not right some hidden wheel broken or locked in the mysterious mechanism that we call human life
Agatha felt uneasy She wished Nathanael had been at home and began to consider whether some one—not herself—ought not to write and hint that his father did not seem quite well
Meanwhile she closely watched the old man who seemed this day to show her more kindness and attention than ever—there was no mistaking that He kept her constantly at his side talking to her with marked courtesy Once she saw his eyes—those poor dull restless eyes fixed on her with an expression that was quite unaccountable Going in to dinner his step which began measured and stately suddenly tottered Agatha caught his arm
You are not well—I am sure of it
Indeed said Mr Grimes who was following close behind with the very reluctant Miss Mary towering over his petty head No wonder that Mr Harper is not quite well today
The Squire swerved aside like an old steed goaded by the whip then rose to his full height which was taller than either of his sons—the Harpers of ancient time were a lofty generation
Mr Grimes I assure you I am quite well Will you do me the honour to cease your anxiety about me and lead in my daughter to her seat
Grimes passed on—quenched There was something in the grand old name of gentleman that threw around its owner an atmosphere in which plebeian intruders could not breathe
A person Agatha whispered the Squire as his eyes bright with something of their old glow followed the evidently objectionable guest—A person to whom I show civility for the sake of—of my family
Agatha assented though not quite certain to what Scanning Mr Grimes more narrowly she faintly remembered him and the unpleasant nasaltoned voice which had gabbled through her marriage settlement She wondered what he had come to Nathanael for—why Nathanaels father paid him such attention
On her part the sensation of dislike unaccountable yet instinctive dislike was so strong that it would have been a real satisfaction to her mind if the footmen instead of respectfully handing Mr Grimes his soup had handed himself out at the diningroom window
The dinner passed in grave formality Even Mr Grimes seemed out of his element being evidently as Eulalie had said not quite a gentleman either by birth or breeding and lacking that something which makes the grandest gentlemen of all—Natures He tried now and then to open a conversation with the Miss Harpers but Eulalie sneered at him aside and Mary was politely dignified Agatha took very little notice of him—her attention was absorbed by her fatherinlaw
Mr Harper looked old—very old His hands blanched to a yellowish whiteness moved about loosely and uncertainly Once the large diamond mourning ring which the widower always wore In memory of Catherine Harper dropped off on the tablecloth He did not perceive the loss until Agatha restored it and then his fingers seemed unable to slip it on again until his daughterinlaw aided him In so doing the clammy nerveless feel of the old mans hand made her start
Thank you Mrs Harper he said acknowledging her assistance with his most solemn bend And Catherine—Agatha I mean if you would be so kind—that is—
Yes observed Agatha inquiringly as he made a long pause
To—remind me after dinner my dear I have duties now—important duties—My friends Here he raised himself in his chair looked round the dessertladen table with one of his old smiles half condescending half goodhumoured then vainly put his hand on the large claret jug which Agatha had to lift and guide to her glass—My friends I am delighted to see you all And on this happy occasion let me have the honour of giving the first toast The Reverend Frederick Harper and Mistress Mary Harper
Mary and Eulalie drew back That is grandfather and grandmother—dead fifty years ago What does papa mean
But the whisper did not reach the old man who drank the toast with all solemnity Mr Grimes did the same repeating it loudly with the addition of long life health and happiness The daughters each cast down strange shocked looks upon her untouched glass No one spoke
Do you make a long stay in Dorsetshire observed the Squire addressing himself courteously to his guest
That depends Grimes answered with a meaning twinkle of the eye—an eye already growing moistened with too good wine
Did you not say Mary Harper continued fancying her father looked at her to sustain the conversation—did you not say you were intending to visit Cornwall
No maam Would rather be excused As Mr Harper knows the place would be too hot to hold me after certain circumstances
Sir The old man tried hard to gather himself up into stern dignity and collect the ideas that where fast floating from him Sir he repeated first haughtily and then with a violence so rare to his rigidly gentlemanly demeanour that his daughters looked alarmed—Sir—at my table—before my family—I beg—I—Here he suddenly recovered himself changed his tone and bowed—I—beg your pardon
Oh no offence Squire none meant none taken I came with the best of all intentions towards you and yours And if things have turned out badly—
Did you not say you were acquainted with Cornwall abruptly asked Agatha to prevent his again irritating her fatherinlaw who had leaned back sleepily He would not close his eyes but they looked misty and heavy and his fingers played lazily with one another on the arm of his chair Agatha laid her own upon them—she could not help it She lost her fear of the repellent Mr Harper in the old man so helpless and feeble She wished she had come oftener to Kingcombe Holm and been more attentive and daughterlike to Nathanaels father
As to Cornwall said Grimes in a confidential whisper between you and me Mrs Harper mums the word
Agatha drew herself up haughtily but looked at the old Squire and grew patient She even tried to eke out the flagging conversation and luckily remembered the news which Duke Dugdale had that morning ridden over to communicate She could not help thinking it very odd that no one in the house had hitherto mentioned Mr Brian Harpers expected return
Shall you not be very glad Mary to see Uncle Brian You have heard of course how soon he will be here
Uncle Brian here—And nobody told us Only think papa—
My dear Mary There was a gentleness in the Squires voice more startling even than his violence
Did you know papa that Uncle Brian is coming home
I think—I—Yes—with a struggle at recollection—my soninlaw told me that some commercial business which Brian is transacting for him will bring my brother home I shall be very happy to see him You too will all be delighted to see your Uncle Brian
An uncle The usual rich uncle from abroad eh whispered Mr Grimes to Agatha I ask merely for your own sake maam and that of my friend Nathanael
Agatha curled her lip That the fellow should dare to speak of my friend Nathanael She glanced at Mary that they might leave the drawingroom when seeing her fatherinlaw was about to speak she paused
The old Squire rose in his customary manner of giving healths His voice was quavering but loud as if he could scarcely hear it himself and tried to make it rise above a whirl of sounds that filled his brain My friends and children—my—here he looked uncertainly at Agatha—Yes I remember my daughterinlaw—allow me to give one toast more—Health long life and every blessing to my son—my youngest worthiest only remaining son and heir Nathanael
Only son—Every one recoiled The wornout brain had certainly given way Mary and Eulalie exchanged frightened glances Agatha alone touched by the unexpected tribute to her husband did not notice the one momentous word
Now Squire thats hardly fair cried Mr Grimes bursting into a hoarse vinous laugh A man may go wrong sometimes but to be thrown overboard for it and by ones father too—think better of it old fellow And ladies by way of an antidote allow me to give a toast—Success to my worthy and honourable—exceedingly honourable client Major Frederick Harper
The old Squire leaped up in his chair with eyes starting from their sockets His lips gurgled out some inarticulate sound scarcely human his right arm shook and quivered with his vain efforts to raise it still it hung nerveless by his side Consciousness and will yet lingered in his brain but physical life and speech had gone for ever He fell down struck by that living death—that worse than death of old age—paralysis
CHAPTER XXIII
The whole household was in terror and disorder Eulalie had rushed screaming from the room—Mary went about trembling like a leaf trying to get restoratives—Agatha knelt on the floor supporting the old mans head in her lap speaking to him sometimes as by the motion and apparent intelligence of his eyes she fancied he might possibly understand her
Oh he is dead he is dead cried Mary as she took up the senseless hand and let it fall again with a burst of tears
No he is not dead—he hears you—take care said Agatha putting the frightened daughter aside with a firmness which rose in her as in similar characters it does rise equal to the necessity She looked on the trembling Mary—on the servants gathering round with silent horror and saw there were none who so to speak had their wits about them except herself Scarcely knowing how she did it she instinctively assumed the rule She the young girl of nineteen who had never till then been placed in any position of trial
Send all these people away Quick Mary Bring some one who can carry him to his room And—stay Eulalie sit down there and be quiet Dont let any one go and alarm Elizabeth
She gave these orders and everybody listened and obeyed people are so ready to obey any guiding spirit at such a crisis Then she bent down again over the poor corpselike figure that rested against her knee kissed the old mans forehead and tried to comfort him She had heard of cases when though deprived of speech and motion the sufferer was still conscious of all passing around him Therefore she wished as soon as possible to remove her fatherinlaw out of the way of the terrified household
He was carried to his room through the hall where he had lately trod so stately—the poor old man now helpless as the dead Leaving the diningroom Agatha thought she saw his eyes turn back as if he knew that he was crossing the doorway he would never cross more and wanted to take a last look at the familiar things Otherwise he seemed continually watching herself She walked beside him till he was laid upon his bed and then tried again to speak to him She did it caressingly as though the old dying man had been a sick child
Be content now—quite content I will take care of you and see that all is done right I shall not be away two minutes I am only going to send for help—your own doctor from Kingcombe We must try to get you well Lie here quiet
Quiet It was like enjoining stillness to a corpse Agatha shuddered when she had used the word For a moment the dread of her position rose upon her In that lonely house at night too with no help nearer than Kingcombe and even then no husband no friend—for she dared not send to poor sick Anne Valery And she so young so inexperienced—But no matter She would try to meet everything—do everything She felt already calm and brave
The first thing necessary was to send for medical aid This she did having the forethought to write a few clear lines lest the messenger should fail She despatched word likewise to the Dugdales She felt quite composed everything right to be remembered came clearly into her head It was the grand touchstone of her character the crisis of danger which shows whether a woman has that presence of mind which exalts her into a domestic heroine an angel of comfort or the weakness which sinks her into a helpless selfish fool
The latter was hardly likely to become a true picture of Agatha Harper
She went about with Mary giving some orders to the servants for sickness always comes startingly upon an unprepared and unaccustomed house and tried to find a few soothing words for the terrified Eulalie who clung crying about them both forgetting all her affectations If the Beauty had any love left in her it was for her father Lastly Agatha took a light and went swiftly along the passages to the distant wing of the house which Elizabeth occupied
Miss Harper her maid said had gone quietly to rest and was then fast sleeping
Poor Elizabeth this seemed the hardest point of all
When did she see her father
This morning The master always comes up every morning after breakfast to see Miss Harper
And they would never see one another again this helpless father and daughter—never till they met bodiless in the next world
For the moment Agatha felt her courage fail She glided quickly from the door but came back again Elizabeth had waked and called her
What is the matter I know something is the matter
Do tell her whispered the maid Shell find it out anyhow—she finds out everything And she has been so ill all day
Agatha entered There was no deceiving those eyes
Elizabeth dear Elizabeth—your father—it is very hard but—your father—She hesitated it was so difficult to convey even in gentlest words the cruel truth Miss Harper regarded her keenly The bearer of illtidings is always soon betrayed and Agathas was not a face to disguise anything Elizabeths head dropped back on the pillow
I perceive He is an old man He has gone home before me My dear father
The perfect composure with which she said this astonished Agatha She did not understand how near Elizabeth always lived to the unknown world and how welcome and beautiful it was in her familiar sight
No he is alive still But if he should not come in to see you tomorrowmorning—
I shall go unto him he shall not return unto me murmured Elizabeth as her eyelids fell and a few tears dropped through the lashes Tell me the rest will you
He has been seized with paralysis I think he cannot speak or move but seems still conscious I do not know how it will end
One way—only one way I feared this long My grandfather died so Agatha—calling after her for she was stealing away she could not bear it—Agatha you will take care of him
I will as his own daughter
And if possible—here Elizabeths voice faltered a little—give my love to my dear father
Agatha fled away She hid herself in the recess close by Annes window as it was called and for a minute or two cried violently It did her good With those tears all the selfishness anger and pain flowed out of her heart leaving it purer and more peaceful than it had been for a long time It was not a foolish miserable girl but a brave tenderhearted sensible woman who entered the door of the sickchamber where the poor old man lay
No one was there but the coachman who had carried his master upstairs Many servants hovered about the door but none dared enter Either they were afraid of the Squire—afraid even now or else the motionless figure that lay within the bedcurtains was too like death Old John sat beside it with tears running down his cheeks
Oh Mrs Harper look at th Master He be all alive ins mind He do want bad to speak to we Look at un Missus
Give me your place John I will try to understand him Father—She faltered a little over the word but felt it was the right word now The old man moved his head towards her with a feeble smile The expression of his face was clearer and more natural only for that terribly painful inarticulate murmur which no one could comprehend
I have done all I could think of Agatha continued speaking softly and cheerfully The doctor will be here soon Mary and Eulalie are downstairs I have myself told Elizabeth that you are ill—she is composed and sends her love to her dear father Was all this right
Mr Harper appeared to assent
I will sit beside you till the doctor comes and then I will write to my husband You would like him to come home
He seemed slow of comprehension troubled or excited Agatha vainly tried to analyse the dumb expression of the features With all her quickness she could not make out what he wanted At last a thought struck her His eldest son his favourite—
Would you like me to send for Major Harper
No words could tell the change which convulsed the old man Abhorrence—anger—fear—all were written in his countenance He rolled his head on the pillow he struggled to gasp out something—what his daughterinlaw could not guess She was inexpressibly shocked One thing only seemed clear that for some cause or other the mere mention of Fredericks name worked up the father into frenzy
Hush do not try to speak I will send for no one but Nathanael Will that content you
He made a motion of satisfaction and became quiet His features gradually composed themselves and he sank into torpor
Agatha still sat by the bed holding his wrist for she knew not moment by moment how soon the pulse might stop The old mans own daughters were too terrified to approach him They came on tiptoe to the door looked in shuddered and went back No one stayed in the room but the old coachman who had been Mr Harpers servant since they were both boys and he sat in a corner crying like a child though silently Agatha might as well have sat there quite alone the atmosphere around her was so still and solemn
She had never before been in her fatherinlaws room—the state bedroom in which for centuries the Harper family had been born and died The great mahogany bed itself was almost like a bier with its dark velvet hangings and dusty plumes Everything around was dusty gloomy and worn out the Squire would have nothing changed from the time when the last Mrs Harper died there In a little curtained alcove the lace hung yellow and dusty over her toilettable just as she had left it when she laid herself down to the pains of motherhood and death Her portraits—one girlish another matronly but still merry and fair—hung opposite the bed Between them was a longitudinal familygroup in the very lowest style of art—a string of children from the big boy to the tottering baby in all varieties of impossible attitudes Their names were written under not unnecessarily—Frederick Emily Harriet Mary Eulalie The only names missed were Nathanael and poor Elizabeth
Mechanically Agatha observed all these things during the first halfhour of her vigil involuntarily her mind floated away to musings concerning them until she forcibly impelled it back to consider the present It was in vain Innumerable conjectures flitted through her brain but not one which she could catch hold of as a truth Of one thing only she felt sure that something very serious must have happened—some great mental shock too powerful for the Squires feeble old age And this shock was certainly in some way or other connected with Major Harper
An hour later when she was beginning to count every beat of the old mans pulse and look forward with dread to a midnight vigil beside that breathing corpse the doctor came
Agatha waited for his dictum—it needed very little skill to decide that A few questions—a shake of the head—a solemn condolatory sigh and all knew that the old Squires days were numbered
How long whispered Mrs Harper half closing the door as they came out
I cannot say Some hours—days—possibly a week We never know in these cases But I fear certainly within a week
What would be within a week Why is it that every one dreads to say the simple word die
Agatha paused She had never yet stood face to face in a house with death The sensation was very awful She glanced within at the heavycurtained bed and then at the fair girlish portrait which peered through the folds at its foot—the painted eyes eternally young seeming to keep watch smilingly The old man and his longparted wife to be together again—within a week It was strange—strange
His sons should be sent for hinted the doctor Mr Locke Harper is in Cornwall I believe but the other—Major Harper——
Frederick—Yes we must send for Frederick sobbed Mary My father cares more for him than for any of us Oh poor Frederick
But Eulalie said—they were all whispering together at the door—I dont think any one of us not even Elizabeth knows Fredericks address just now A week ago he was passing through London but he does make such a mystery of his comings and goings Oh if he were only here
Ask my father cried Mary—ask him if he would like to see Frederick
As she said this rather too loudly there was a strange smothered sound from the bed Agatha ran The old Squire was gasping choking with the frightful effort to speak His face was purple—his eyes wild—yet the poor bound tongue refused to obey his will
Hush be composed said his daughterinlaw soothingly You shall see no one No one shall be sent for Will that do
He grew calmer but restless still
Shall my husband come He will do you good—he does everybody good Would you like to see Nathanael
A faint assent—scarcely intelligible—and then the Squire dropped off again into sleep Agatha left him and went to his daughters who lingered outside
I think Major Harper has somehow vexed him He will only see my husband A messenger must be sent to Cornwall Who will write
Who but yourself said Eulalie hardly able even then to repress a look beneath which Agathas cheek glowed fiery red who so fit as yourself to tell this to your husband
You are right and she smothered down her swelling heart into a grave dignity Get the messenger ready—I will write here—in this room
She turnedwithin—closed the door—looked once more at the old man trying by that mournful sight to still the earthly anger that was again rising in her heart—and sat down to write
It was a hard task She scribbled the date and paused This strangely enough was the first letter she had ever written to him She did not know how to begin it Her heart beat—her fingers trembled To tell such news to the dearest friend and husband that ever woman had would be a difficult and painful thing and for her to tell it to him as they were now For the first letter he ever had from her to be this And how could she write it—she who till today would almost have cut off her right hand rather than have humbled herself to write to him at all Yet now all the wrath was melting out of her and tenderness swelling up afresh We always feel so tender over those that are in trouble
Yes I will do it muttered Agatha And she wrote firmly the words—My dear husband They seemed at the same time to imprint themselves on her heart as a truth—invisible sometimes yet when brought near to the fire of strong emotion or suffering found ineffaceably written there
The letter was a mere brief explanation and summons but it bore the words dutywords certainly—yet which no duty would have forced Agatha to write had they been untrue—My dear husband—Your affectionate wife
She despatched it and reentered the sickroom All was quiet there—the very hopelessness of the case produced quiet There was nothing to be done watched or waited for Doctor Mason sat by his patient as he had declared his intention of doing through the night He sat mournfully for he was a kind good man—the family doctor for thirty years
Let all go to bed he said to Agatha seeming to understand at once that she was the moving spirit in the family Make the house perfectly quiet and then—
I will come and sit up with you
Doctor Mason looked compassionately at the slight girlish figure and the face already wan with the reaction after excitement My dear Mrs Harper would not a servant do as well
No I am his sons wife What should I say to my husband if—if anything happened and he not there nor I
Good Then stay said the doctor kindly grasping her hand He was a man of few words
It took some time and patience to quiet the house and persuade Mary and Eulalie to retire When all was done and Agatha passed swiftly lamp in hand through the dark solitary rooms she felt frightened The house seemed so silent—already so full of death
There was one thing more to be done—to write a line ready for Anne Valerys waking otherwise she would expect her home as she had promised in the early morning How would she tell all these horrors even in the gentlest way to the feeble Anne for whom however unknown to others and disguised by the invalid herself Agatha felt an everpresent dread that she in vain tried to believe was only born of strong attachment We never deeply love anything for which we do not likewise continually fear Agatha almost recoiled from the idea of mentioning danger or death to Anne Valery
She went into the diningroom to write Everything there appeared just as when this great shock struck the household into confusion the dessert was not removed—the wine in which he had drunk Nathanaels health remained yet in Mr Harpers glass Agatha shrank back She half expected to see some shadowy form—not himself but Death rise and sit in the armchair whence the old man had fallen
Brave she was but she was still a girl and a girl of strong imagination Her heart beat audibly she put the lamp down in the middle of the room where it might cast more light and render less ghastly the last flicker of one waxcandle the fellows of which had been left to burn out in their sockets Then she sat down covered her eyes and tried to think connectedly of all that had happened this night
Something touched her She leaped up—would have screamed but that she remembered the room overhead—the room She crouched down—again covering her eyes
Another touch and a stirring in the windowcurtain near which she sat There was something—every one knows that horrible sensation—something else in the room besides herself
Who is it she said still not looking up frightened at her own voice
Its me maam—only me
Everybody in the house had forgotten Mr Grimes
Halfintoxicated at the time of Mr Harpers seizure he had stayed behind in the diningroom drunk himself stupid and slept himself sober—or partly so They say drink is a great unfolder of truth if so the old lawyers sharp face betrayed that in spite of all his past civility he had not the kindest feeling in the world towards the Harper family
So young lady I frightened you You did not expect to find me here
I did not indeed I had quite forgotten your very existence said Mrs Harper pointblank She had conceived a great dislike to Mr Grimes and Agatha was a girl who never took much trouble to disguise her aversions
Thank you maam You are polite like the rest of the Harpers But words fair or foul wont pay anything Wheres the Squire He and I have not yet settled the little business I came about
Mr Grimes perhaps you are not aware that my fatherinlaw is dangerously ill—can enter upon no business and see no person
Indeed His thorough insolence of manner brought Agathas dignity back She remembered that she was a lady belonging to the house and that this fellow whose behaviour made his grey hairs so little worthy of respect was her fatherinlaws invited guest
Sir she said drawing up her little figure and trying to look as much Mrs Locke Harper as possible you must be aware that in the present state of the house a strangers presence is undesirable It is not too late to order the carriage Will you favour me by going to sleep at Kingcombe
Mr Grimes looked disposed to object but she had her hand on the bell and her manner though perfectly civil was resolute—so resolute that he became humble
Well Mrs Harper Im willing to oblige a former client but I should like to put to you a few questions before leaving
Put them
First—whats wrong with the old gentleman
He has had a paralytic stroke—probably caused the doctor says by some great shock which was too much for him being an old man
The other old man looked uneasy as though some touch of nature smote him for the moment
You dont think—here he crept backward shambling and cowardly—you dont think I had any hand in causing this—this very melancholy occurrence
You There was undisguised scorn in Agathas lip As if any Mr Grimes could do harm to a Harper Nothing of the kind—pray do not disquiet your conscience unnecessarily
But I did bring him unpleasant news for which Im rather sorry now I had much better have told his son When shall I be likely to see my friend Nathanael
His friend Nathanael Agatha could have crushed him and stamped upon him had he been worth it
Mr Locke Harper she said trying hard to keep her temper—Mr Locke Harper will be at home tomorrow night You can then make to him any communications you please At the present the greatest benefit you can confer on this sad house is to absent yourself from it
Pon my life Mrs Harper you might waste a little more breath on me lest I might think it worth while to spend a little too much breath on you and yours Do you know what claim I have upon your family
That of being Major Harpers lawyer I believe and possibly mine before my marriage It is not likely that my husband has continued to use your services afterwards
Agatha said this sharply for she was annoyed to feel herself in such total darkness regarding her husbands affairs For a moment she felt half alarmed at the expression My friend Nathanael Could they be allied he and this disagreeable man Could Grimes have acquired any power over him that he was smiling in such a sinister mysterious way
My services Really Mrs Harper this is very amusing You surely must be aware that your husband has not the slightest occasion for anybodys services in the management of his affairs One cant make something out of nothing and when there is not a halfpenny left—
Explain yourself
My dear young lady is it possible you dont know the unfortunate circumstance at least one of the unfortunate circumstances which brought me here Why Mr Locke Harper knew it months ago He and I had several conferences together on the subject But we husbands are obliged to be uncommunicative as my wife would tell you if you had the pleasure of knowing Mrs Grimes—
Will you keep to the point sir said Agatha sternly She felt very stern—very bitter The old wound was reopening sorer than ever Nathanael had held conferences with this fellow—confided to him secrets which he had not told to her—his own wife Here was a new pang—a new indignity In its sharpness she forgot everything else even the silent room overhead She had just selfpossession and pride enough not to question she would have been more than human had she not paused to hear
Well Mr Grimes she said confronting him her hand still on the door where she had placed it as a mute signal which he refused to understand
I own Mrs Harper it is a hard case At the time I really felt as sorry for you as if you had been my own daughter All to happen so soon after your marriage too Some persons might blame me for consenting to keep back the facts but I assure you Major Harper compelled me to draw up the settlement exactly according to his orders
Sir—will you hasten—my time is occupied
So is mine madam fully occupied I shall waste no more of it in giving advice to young women who are as proud as peacocks and as poor as churchmice If it wasnt for that highly respectable young man your husband I should say it served you right
What said Agatha beneath her breath
Mr Locke Harper found out a month after his marriage that somebody had made ducks and drakes of all his wifes property So as I hear the poor young man has had to turn landsteward just to keep his kitchen fire burning Thats all Very odd you dont know it
I do now
Well you take it quietly enough You seem quite satisfied
I am so
Mr Grimes regarded her in perfect bewilderment She showed no token of dismay or grief but stood calmly by the open door
Im not satisfied though cried he at last growing heated—Im not going to have shareholders coming down upon me and be hunted from London and from my profession just because Major Harper—
I would rather not hear of Major Harper or any one else tonight Once more—will you oblige me by leaving
Her thorough selfpossession her air of command—controlled the man in spite of himself He moved away bidding her a civil goodnight
Goodnight Mr Grimes I will light you to the door
Ugh He gave a grunt—seemed inclined to hesitate—looked up at Mrs Harper and—obeyed
Agatha came slowly back through the hall feeling all stunned and stupified She sat down smoothed her hair back with her hands heaved one or two weary sighs and tried to think what had happened to her
So I am no heiress I have lost all my money and am quite poor He knows it—knew it a long time ago and did not tell me Why did he not tell me I wonder
Here was a pause For a moment she felt inclined to doubt the fact itself truthful people have little suspicion of chicanery or falsehood and when she came to think innumerable circumstances confirmed Grimes statement Yes it must be true This then was Nathanaels secret Why had he kept it from her
As if he thought I cared for money As if—and a choking filled her throat—as if I would have minded being ever so poor did he only love me
The thought burst out naturally like water forcing its way through muddy reeds—showing how deep down there lay the living spring
Now let me consider He must have had some strong reason for keeping this secret It cost him much he said so But I never heeded that How I wearied him about not taking the house how angry I was at his acceptance of the stewardship And it was for me he wished to toil—for me and for our daily bread Yet he would not tell me And all the while he must have had numberless cares and anxieties without and his own wife blindly tormenting him at home Last of all I called him mercenary And what did he answer Nothing Not one reproach—not one word of anger Yet still—he kept his secret Why
Here she paused again All was mystery
It might have been through tenderness—to save me pain Yet no—for he could not but see how his silence stung me Then since he kept not this secret for love of me—and I am hardly worth such loving—it must have been from some motive perhaps higher than love—some bond of honour which he could not break Did he not say something to that effect once Let me think
Again she sat down and so far as her excited feelings would allow tried to recall the story of their acquaintance courtship marriage—a sixmonths tale—how brief yet how full Amidst its confusion amidst all the variations of her own feelings stood out one steadfast image—her husband
His character was peculiar—very peculiar Its strength reticence power of silentness and selfcontrol were beyond her comprehension but its uprightness truth and rigid immaculate honour—she could understand those It must have been his sense of honour and moral right that in some way impelled this concealment even at the hazard of wounding the wife he loved—if he ever had loved her
For a minute or so Agathas mind almost lost its balance rocking on this one point of torture—then it settled God knows I did love you Agatha He had said so—he who never uttered a falsehood It was enough
Yet he did love me that means he does not now I have wearied him out with my folly my coldness and at length with that one last insulting wrong I—to tell him he married me for my money—when all the while I was a beggar on his hands Yet he never betrayed a word Oh no wonder he despises me No wonder he has ceased loving me He never can love me any more
She burst into a passion of tears and so remained for long At last a sudden thought seemed to dart through her sorrow She leaped upright clasping her hands above her head in the rapturous attitude of a child
There is a better thing than love—goodness And whether he loves me or not he is all good in himself I know that now It is I only that have been wicked and have lost him No matter Anne was right My noble husband I would not give my faith in him even for his love for me
She said this in a delirium of joy—a womans pure joy when she can set aside the selfish craving for love and live only in the worthiness of the object beloved It was beautiful to see Agatha as she stood her features and form all radiant One person creeping in did see her
Old John the coachman stood in the doorway with his mournful face
Agatha awoke to realities Death all but present in the house—misfortune following—and she had given way to that burst of joy
She drew her hand across her forehead—sat down at the table—wrote the three lines she had intended to Anne Valery and then went her way to watch all night long beside her husbands father
CHAPTER XXIV
A night and a day had passed and the household had grown somewhat accustomed to the cloud that hung over it It was but natural How soon do most families settle themselves after a great shock—how easilydoes any grief become familiar and bearable Likewise saddest thought of all—how seldom is any one really missed from among us painfully missed for longer than a few days—a few hours
By evening when all Kingcombe was yet talking over the shocking event at Kingcombe Holm the afflicted family had subsided into its usual ways—a little more grave perhaps but still composed Some voluble fresh grief arose when Anne Valery came—Anne ever foremost in entering the house of mourning—and took her place among the daughters of the family ready to give sympathy counsel and comfort It was all she was strong enough to do now The chief position in the household was still left to Agatha
Dr Mason gave his directions and went away There was nothing more to be done or hoped for The form which lay in the Squires bedroom might lie there for days weeks months—without change The old coachman and his wife watched their master alternately but he took little notice of them In every conscious moment his whole attention was fixed upon Agatha His eyes followed her about the room when she talked to him he feebly smiled She could not imagine why this should be but she felt glad It was so sweet to know herself in any way a comfort to the father of Nathanael
She sat for hours by the old mans bedside trying to think of nothing but him What were all these worldly things loss of fortune or youth or even love itself to the spirit that lay on the verge of a closed life—passing swiftly into eternity
So she sat and strove to forget all that had happened or was happening to herself ay though every now and then she would start fancying there was a voice in the hall or a step at the door And she would hesitate whether to run away and hide herself from her husbands presence or wait and let him find her in her right place—beside his dying father
And then—how would he meet her how look—how speak Yet these conjectures were selfish Most likely he would scarcely notice her—his heart would be so full of other thoughts What right had she his erring wife to obtrude herself upon his feelings at such a time She could only look at him and watch him and silently help him in everything Alas she might not even dare to comfort him
Towards evening the suspense of expectation grew less from the mere fact of its having lasted so many hours Agatha went down in the course of dinner The diningtable looked as usual only fuller from the presence of the Dugdales and Miss Valery Mary had of necessity taken her fathers place but not his chair—it was put aside against the wall and nobody looked that way
Agatha seated herself next to Miss Valery quietly—they were all so very quiet Anne whispered How is he and the rest listened for the answer—the usual answer which all foreboded Then Harriet made an attempt to speak of other things—of how the rain pattered against the windowpanes and what an ill night it was for Nathanaels journey She even began to doubt whether he would come
He is sure to come said Miss Valery
And while she was yet speaking there swept round the house a wild burst of storm in the midst of which were faintly discerned the sound of a horses feet They all cried out—He is here
A minute more and he was in the room—drenched through—flushed with riding against wind and rain But it was himself his own self and his wife saw him
When those who are much thought of return from absence for the first minute they almost always seem unlike the image in our hearts—It was not thus that Agatha had remembered her husband Not thus—abrupt agitated anything but the calm and grave Nathanael
He looked eagerly round the room—all rose but Miss Valery was the first to take his hand
Thanks Anne I knew you would be with them Is he—
Just the same—no change
The young man breathed hard Are you all here He took his three sisters and kissed them one after the other silently brotherly—Anne likewise There was one left out—his wife who had hidden behind the rest But soon she heard her name
Is Agatha with you
She approached Her husband took her hand—paused a moment—and then touched her cheek with his lips as he had done to his sisters He did not look at her or speak—it seemed as if he were not able
They drew round Nathanael nearly all weeping There was as is natural at such times an unusual outburst of family tenderness And as was natural also no one seemed to think of the young wife—the stranger in the circle Agatha slid away from the group and disappeared
Shortly after she had taken her usual place in the sickroom It had struck her that the old man ought to be prepared for his sons coming so she had at once proceeded to his bedside But it was useless—he was sleeping She sat down noiselessly in her old seat and watched as she had done for many an hour in this long day the smiling portrait at the foot of the bed—her husbands mother whom he never saw
While she sat footsteps entered the room Agatha turned quickly round to motion the intruder to silence and perceived that it was Nathanael
She fancied—nay was sure—that he started when he saw her Still he came forward She rose and would have given him her seat but he put his hand on her shoulder and gently pressed her down again The old servant who watched near her went respectfully to the further end of the room
It was a solemn scene the dim light—the total silence broken only by the feeble breathing of the old man who lay passive as death without deaths sanctity of calm Over all that gay youthful portrait which the lamplight excluded from the bed kindled into wonderfully vivid life—far more like life than the sleeper below
The young man stood mournfully watching his father until startled by a flash of firelight on the canvas his eyes wandered to the painted smile of his unknown mother and then turned back again to the pillows—the same pillows where she died His fingers began to twitch nervously though his features remained still Slowly Agatha saw large tears rise and roll down his cheeks Her heart yearned over her husband but she dared not speak She could but weep—not outwardly but inwardly with exceeding bitter pangs
At length the old man stirred Agatha remembered her duty as nurse and hastily whispered her husband
I think you should move aside for a minute Dont let him see you suddenly—it will startle him
That is thoughtful of you But who will tell him
I will—he is used to me Are you awake father
Nathanael caught the word and looked surprised
Dear father she continued soothingly will you not try to wake now Here is some one come to see you—some one you will be glad to see
The Squires eyes grew wild he uttered a thick painful murmur
Some one who was sure to come when he knew you were ill—your son She paused shocked at the frenzied expression of the old mans face Nay—your younger son—Nathanael—may he come
She perceived some faint assent beckoned to her husband saw him take her place at the bedside and then stole away leaving the son alone with his father
Agatha rejoined the rest of the family They were all sitting talking together as Nathanael had left them After her leaving they said he had hardly spoken at all but had gone up directly after her
In about halfanhour he reappeared—greatly agitated His sisters all turned to him as he entered but he avoided their eyes Agatha never lifted hers she sat in a dim corner behind Miss Valery
What do you think of him Nathanael asked Mary in a low voice
I cannot yet tell I want to hear how he was seized Which of you saw most of him yesterday
No one unless it was Agatha He was shut up in his study until she came
And who has been most with him since
Agatha
A soft expression dawned in the young mans eyes as they sought the dim corner
Will Agatha tell me what she thinks of my fathers state
This appeal so direct—so unexpected—could not be gainsaid
Yet when Nathanael addressed her Agathas agitation was so visible that it attracted observation—especially Mrs Dugdales
Poor child said Harrie compassionately how pale she looks
No wonder Mary added She is more worn out than any of us She sat up all last night
Nathanaels eyes were on his wife again full of ineffable gentleness Agatha come over and rest in this armchair I want to talk to you about my father
She obeyed He spoke in a low voice
I feel deeply your having been so kind to him
It was right I was glad to do it
What do you think caused his illness
Doctor Mason said it was probably some severe mental shock
Nathanael looked alarmed Indeed and did the rest of the family know anything—guess anything
Nothing
Her husband fixed on her a penetrating gaze she returned it steadily
Agatha he hurriedly said you are a sensible girl—more so than any of my sisters I want to consult with you alone Come and walk up and down the room with me where they cannot overhear us
She did so How strange it was
Do you think my father had any sudden ill news Did he see any person yesterday
A stranger came to him Your brothers lawyer Mr Grimes
Grimes Oh my poor father
He sat down abruptly Agatha wondered at his mingling the two names What should Grimes have to do with his father
Did any one else see Grimes
I did
What did he say to you Was it—he dropped his head and spoke half inaudibly—Was it anything about my brother
Agatha marvelled even with a sort of pain Father brother every one before her He never named Major Harper that I can remember But he said—
What
Agatha drew back How could she speak of such petty things as money and fortune then She answered softly and with a full heart
Never mind It was a mere trifle not worth telling or even thinking of now Another time
Nathanael regarded his wife doubtfully but she bore the look She was speaking the simple truth Loss of fortune did seem a mere trifle now when he was safe back again and she sat in his presence he talking to her as gently as in the olden time Her simplicity in worldly things was so extreme that even Nathanael passed it over as impossible He only said
Well all must come out ere long We cannot think of it now Tell me more about my poor father
There is little more to tell His manner was rather strange I thought all dinnertime He drank healths as usual—especially yours His mind was wandering then for he called you his only son Then Mr Grimes gave another toast—Major Harper At that moment your father fell from his chair
Nathanael started up—I knew it would be so He could not bear such shame—my poor old father
Nathanael cried Harrie from the fireside group come and give us your opinion I say that he ought to be sent for at once
Who
Frederick
Nathanael cried out violently as if selfcontrol were no longer possible
Never Here have I used every effort smothered every feeling made every sacrifice to save my poor father from knowing all this—and in vain You may talk as you like but I say Frederick shall never enter these doors He is as good as his fathers murderer
Hush cried Anne Valery going to him while the others stood aghast She only knew what fearful storms can be roused in these quiet natures
I will not hush I have been silent too long over his wrongdoing
But some—breathed Anne scarce audibly—some whom he wronged have been silent for a lifetime
Nathanael paused Annes reasoning was from facts unknown to him but he saw the agony in her face She continued in a whisper
Be slow to judge him if only for his sisters sakes—his dead mothers—the honour of the family
I have thought only too much of all these things
Then for his fathers sake—his father who is going away to the other world leaving a son unforgiven Beware how you not only take your brothers birthright but seal your brothers curse
God forbid Oh Anne—Anne
He pressed his hand over his eyes and leaned back a moment—leaning though he did not know it against his wife who had stolen behind his chair No one else came near they all shrank from their brother as if he were suddenly gone mad Looking up he saw only Miss Valery
Forgive me Anne I cannot control myself as I used to do I have been very ill lately but dont tell my wife
Anne took no notice perhaps she wished the wife should learn the husbands real heart as she—his old friend—knew it
Dont think I would harm Frederick Not for worlds Do you know and his voice lowered I dare not trust myself even to be just over his misdeeds lest I should be slaying my enemy
Your enemy It is too hard a word
No it is true He glanced round perceiving no one near but Miss Valery Anne he whispered do you remember the parable of Nathan Why did he do it—the cruel rich man who had enjoyed so much all his life Why did he steal my one little ewelamb
Stay cried Anne with a sudden suspicion waking in her I dont clearly understand Tell me again
No no he said recovering himself I have nothing to tell—But we are wasting time Anne it shall be as you say And he drew a long hard breath Which of us had best write to my brother
Rising he found out who had been behind him He looked horrified
Agatha—did you overhear me
The suspicion wounded her to the core Her pride and sense of justice were alike roused
Have no fear Mr Harper said she I shall not betray your secrets I do not even comprehend them except that I think it very wicked for brothers to be such enemies
He made no answer
And continued Agatha growing bolder as she was prone to do on the side of the mysteriously wronged I would have sent for Major Harper myself had not your father seemed unwilling But the eldest son ought to be here
He shall be—your husband will write interposed Miss Valery
The husband moved away He had thoroughly frozen up again into the Nathanael of old whose coldness jarred against every ardent impulse of Agathas temperament—rousing irritating her into opposition
There is no need for him to trouble himself What was right to be done has luckily not waited for his doing it Elizabeth herself informed her brother
When
This afternoon I sent the letter myself to Mr Trenchards where I found out he had been staying
As Mrs Harper said this her husbands eyes literally glared
You knew where he was staying—Agatha—Agatha
But Agathas look was fixed on the door to which her sistersinlaw had gathered hastily There was a talking outside—a welcome as it seemed She forgot everything except her sense of right and justice to one unwarrantably and unaccountably blamed
It is surely he she cried and ran eagerly forward
Nathanael
Frederick
The two brothers elder and younger stood confronting each other
CHAPTER XXV
Elizabeth sent for me—Elizabeth only showed me that kindness Oh it was very cruel of you all—you should have told me my father was dying
It must have been a hard heart that could have closed itself altogether against Frederick Harper now
He leant against the doorway the miserable ghost of his gay self Born only for summer weather on him any real blast of remorse or misfortune fell suddenly entirely overthrowing the whole man
Elizabeth says it happened yesterday and must have been because—because Grimes—Oh God forgive me it is I that have killed my father
Every one shrank back None of his sisters understood what he meant but the mere expression seemed to draw a line of demarcation between them and the selfconvicted man Agatha only approached him—she felt so very sorry for her old friend
You must not talk in this way Major Harper If you did vex him in any way it is very sad but he will forgive you now You cannot have done any real harm to your father
Her kind voice her perfectly guileless manner struck each of the brothers with various emotion The eyes of both met on her face Frederick dropped his and groaned Nathanaels brightened For the first time he addressed his brother
Frederick she is right you must not talk thus Compose yourself
It was in vain his easy temperament was plunged into depths of childish weakness Oh what have I done You said truly it would kill him to hear that And my heedlessness drove Grimes to go and tell him Yes your prophecy was true I have been the disgrace of our house—the destruction of my father What shall I do Nathanael
And he held out his hands to his younger brother in the helplessness of despair
The first thing Frederick is for you to be silent Anne take my sisters away my brother and I have something to say to one another What no one will go Then brother come with me
The other rose mechanically Agatha likewise She began to put circumstances together and guess darkly at what was amiss Probably she herself had to do with it She remembered in what strict honour the old Squire held the duty of a guardian as he had shown in what he said about his own relation to Anne Valery Perhaps some carelessness of his sons had caused her own loss of fortune Yet that was not a thing to break his fathers heart or harden his brothers against him Mere chance it must have been illluck or at the worst carelessness There could not be any real dishonour in Major Harper And after all what was money when they could be so much happier without it She determined to go to her husband and openly say so telling all that had come to her knowledge of their secrets They should no longer be angry with one another—if it were on her account
So she followed after them with her soft noiseless step and when the two brothers stood together in their fathers deserted study there she was between them
Agatha They both uttered her name—the elder in much confusion He had seemed all along as though he could scarcely bear the sight of her innocent face
Dont send me away she said laying a hand on either I know I am a young ignorant thing and you are wise men but perhaps a straightforward girl may be as wise as you Why are you angry with one another
Both looked uncomfortable Major Harper tried to throw the question off
Are we angry with one another Nay I am sure—
Dont deceive me—this is no time for making pretences of any kind What is this quarrel between you two And she turned from one to the other her fearless eyes
Major Harper could not meet them Nathanael did calmly but sorrowfully
Agatha I cannot tell you
But I can tell you and I will for it is right Major Harper do not be unhappy Believe me I care not one jot for all the money I ever had If you have lost it I am sure it was accidentally You would not wilfully wrong me of a straw
Again Major Harper groaned Nathanael stood speechless with amazement At length he said very gently
How did you find this out Agatha
Mr Grimes told me
Was that all he told
Yes
Major Harper looked relieved Nathanael watched him sternly After a while he said
Frederick this is the right time to explain all Do not start you need not fear me in any case I shall hold to my promise But if you would explain—for my sake for others sake—
The other shrank away No not now he whispered oh brother not now Give me a little time Dont disgrace me before her—before them all
Nathanaels stature rose Without again speaking he shook his brothers hand from off his shoulder with a gesture slight yet full of meaning and turned towards Agatha He seemed to yearn over her though he checked every expression of feeling except the softness of his voice
I am glad you have found out we are poor—that in some things my wife may see I have not been so cruel to her as she thought
Agathas cheeks crimsoned with emotion Why—why were they not alone that she need not have smothered it down and stood so quiet that he believed she did not feel He went on rather more sadly
But this is not a time to talk of our own affairs you shall know all ere long Will you be content until then And he held out his hand
She took it looking eagerly into his face There was something there so intrinsically noble and true Though his conduct yet seemed strange—unreasonable towards her harsh towards his brother still in defiance of all there was that in his countenance which compelled faith And there was that in her own heart a something neither reason nor conviction but transcending both which leaped to him as through intervening darkness light leaps to light She felt that she must believe in her husband
He seemed partly to understand this and smiled—a pale faint smile that quickly vanished
Now Agatha he said opening the door for her go and see how my father is and then you must go to bed I will sit up with him tonight I cannot have my poor wife killing herself with watching
His voice sunk tenderly he even put out his hand as if to stroke her hair after his old habit but drew it back—Major Harper was looking on Again the dark fire lit so fatally on his marriageday and since then sometimes fiercely raging sometimes smothered down to a mere spark yet never wholly extinguished rose up in the young mans strong selfcontained strangely silent heart Would his pride never let it burst forth that mingling with the common air it might burn itself to nothingness But how many a whole life has been tortured and consumed by just such a little flame a mere spark let fall by some evil tongue which is set on fire of hell
While they paused—the wife waiting she knew not for what except that it seemed so easy to follow and so hard to quit her husband—there was a cry heard on the staircase at the foot of which they stood Mrs Dugdale came running down in terror
Nathanael—Agatha—I have told my father that Fred is here Oh come to him do come
No time for pitiful earthly passions jealousies and regrets Nathanael ran quick as lightning his wife following But at the door of the sickroom even she recoiled
The old man sat up in bed raised on pillows either the paralysis had not been so entire as was at first supposed or he had slightly recovered from it His right arm moved feebly his tongue was loosed though only in a halfintelligible jabber But his countenance showed that however lay the miserable body the poor old man was in his right mind Alas that mind was not at peace not lighted with the holy glow cast on the dying by the world to come It was filled with rage and torment
Nathanael ran to him Father father you will destroy yourself What is it you want
The answer was unintelligible to his son but Agatha gathered from it that the chamberdoor was to be shut and bolted She did so yet even then the sick mans fury scarce abated Broken words—curses that the helpless lips refused to ratify terrible outbursts of wrath mingled with the piteous moan of senility Last of all came the name once given proudly by the young father to his firstborn and now gasped out with maledictions from the same fathers dying lips—Frederick
Nathanael and Agatha looked at one another with horror They both knew that the old Squire was bent on driving from his deathbed his own his firstborn son
Agatha instinctively held down the palsied hands which were trying to lift themselves towards heaven—not in prayers
Father dont say—dont even think such terrible things Whatever he has done forgive him—for the love of God forgive him
The old man regarded her and his excitement seemed redoubled Agatha fancied it was the fathers pride dreading lest she a stranger knew the cause of his anger
No no she cried I scarcely understand anything my husband would not tell me Whatever has happened can all be hushed up We would forgive anything to a brother—oh would we not And she appealed to Nathanael who stood motionless great drops lying on his forehead though his features were so still
It is true father he whispered No one knows anything but me and I have kept your honour safe that he might redeem it some time Perhaps he may And remember he is your son—the firstborn of his mother Hush Agatha Nathanael continued as he saw a sudden change come over the old mans face Dont say any more now Leave me to talk with my father
With the grave tenderness that he always showed her he took his wife by the hand led her to the door and closed it Greatly moved yet feeling satisfied he would do what was right Agatha obeyed and went downstairs
The sisters and brother were assembled in the study Marmaduke was there too but took little part in the family lamentation except in keeping a perpetual tender watch over the grief of his own Harrie Anne Valery was absent
Frederick Harper sat apart A sullen gloom had succeeded to his misery—with him no feeling ever lasted long at least in the same form Harriet and Eulalie were inspecting with great curiosity their elder brother whose presence among his longestranged household seemed accompanied with such a mysterious discomfort They eyed him doubtfully as if he had done something very wrong that nobody knew of Mary only who was next eldest to himself ventured to address some kind words and bestir herself about his comfort
Thus the family sat Agatha among them for more than an hour No one thought of going to bed All remained together in a strangely quiet subdued state Major Harper being with them all the time though he hardly spoke or they to him He seemed a stranger in his fathers house
Once when he had gone for a few minutes to Elizabeths room—he had been with Elizabeth long before his coming was known to any of the rest it was believed—Mary began in her lengthy wandering way to tell anecdotes of his boyish doings how handsome he was and how naughty too and how when he got into disgrace she by the scheming of Elizabeth used secretly to carry breadandhoney and apples to his bedroom And she wiped her eyes the good plainlooking sister Mary saying over and over again
Poor Fred She never thought of him like the world as Major Frederick Harper but only as Poor Fred
Several times Agatha stole upstairs to the door of the room which enclosed the sorrowmystery of the house It was always shut but she could hear Nathanaels voice within—his soft kind voice talking quietly by the bedside
I never see anything like un said the coachmans wife who sat without the door He do manage th Squire just as the poor dear Missus did He do talk just like his mother And that was evidently the perfection of everything in the old womans eyes
Agatha sat down beside her on the staircase listening to the wind without that swept fiercely over the hollow in which Kingcombe Holm lay as if ready to bear away on its pinions a departing soul It was an awful night to die in Agatha listened sensitive to every one of its terrors But above them all—above the shadow of coming death fear of the future anxiety in the present—rose one thought—the thought of her husband
It gave her no pain—it gave her no joy—yet there it was a visible image sitting strong and calm in the halflighted chamber of her heart every feeling of which crept to its feet and lay there like priestesses in the twilight before a veiled god
Nathanael at last opened the door He looked like one who has struggled and conquered not only with things without but things within His face had all the pallor but likewise all the peace of victory Agatha rose to meet him
Have you been waiting for me this long while Good child And he smiled but solemnly as with an inward sense of the Presence which makes all things equal—softens all asperities and calms all passions
Do you know where my brother is asked Nathanael
Downstairs with the rest
Will you go and fetch him
Agatha looked up at her husband half incredulously Have you then succeeded Is all made right
Yes
Oh how good—how good you are She grasped his hands and kissed them her eyes floating in tears then lest he should be displeased ran quickly away
Miss Valery met her at the stairhead coming from the gallery where were Elizabeths rooms They exchanged the usual question How is he now and then Agatha said
Be glad with me I am sent to fetch Major Harper
Anne pressed her hand Go and tell him He is with Elizabeth
And there Agatha found him overcome with grief—the gay handsome Major Harper steadfast neither in good nor evil He sat his head bent his hair falling disordered its greyness showing oh so plain Plainer still were the wrinkles which a life of smiles had carved only the deeper round the mouth—token of how near upon him was creeping a desolate unhonoured age By his side talking softly with his hand in hers lay the crippled sister perhaps the only living creature who really loved him
Major Harper Agatha spoke softly laying her hand upon his shoulder The poor brokendown man dropping into old age there was no fear of his thinking she was in love with him now
Well what do you want
I am sent to fetch you to your father
He looked incredulous—Agatha repeated her message
My husband sent me Your father wishes very much to see you Come
Elizabeth He turned to her as if she could make him understand this incomprehensible news
Elizabeth clasped his hand and loosed it She said nothing but Agatha saw she was weeping for joy Her brother rose and went through the long gallery they passed his sisterinlaw carrying the light and leading him He had quite forgotten his courteous manners now Agatha thought of the days in London—when he had escorted her to operas and murmured over her in drawingrooms making her so happy and honoured in his notice Poor Major Harper How vain were all the shows of his brilliant life the men who had courted him the women who had flattered and admired him Agatha forgave him all his follies—ay even all the hearts he had broken There was not one of those poor hearts not one on which he could rest his tired head now
At the door of their fathers room Nathanael met him a new and more righteous Jacob dealing with a more desolate Esau And like Esaus was the cry that broke from Frederick Harper as he went in and flung himself on his knees by the bed
Bless me—even me also—O my father
There was no answer The words of forgiveness were denied his hearing The old Squire could but look at his son and move his lips in an articulate murmur
Agatha ran to Major Harpers side It was pitiful to see the shock he had received and the frenzied way in which he called upon his father to speak—if only one word
He cannot speak you know but he does indeed forgive you Be sure that he forgives you
Her husband drew her away to the little curtained alcove which had been Mrs Harpers dressingroom There they stood close together—for Nathanael did not let her go and she clung to him in tears—while the father and son had their reconciliation
It was silent throughout for after the first burst Major Harper was not heard to speak Now and then came a sound like the smothered sob of a boy No one saw the faces of father and son they were bent together just as when years upon years ago the proud father had sometimes condescended to let his baby son his firstborn and heir go to sleep upon his shoulder
Thus after many minutes Nathanael found them lying
He held the curtain aside to see his fathers countenance it was very peaceful now though with a dimness gathering in the open eyes Agatha had never before seen that look—the unmistakable shadow of death She shrank back trembling violently Her husband put his arm round her
Do not be afraid my child he whispered using the old word and tone She rested on him and was quieted
I think we had better call them all in now
Shall I fetch them said his wife and went out flitting once more through the still ghostly house But she thought of her husband of his last word and look and had no fear
They came in all that were now living of the old mans children—save one—the poor Elizabeth They stood round the bed a full circle his two sons his three daughters his soninlaw and daughterinlaw and lastly Anne Valery She was the palest and most serene of all
Thus for an hour or more they waited—so slow was the last closing of the longdrawnout life There was no pain or struggle merely the ebbing away of breath The palsied hands white and beautiful to the last lay smooth on the counterpane and when occasionally one or other of his daughters knelt down and kissed him the old man feebly smiled But whenever he opened his eyes they travelled no farther than to the face of his eldest son—rested there brightened and closed
And thus lying quietly in the midst of his children at daybreak the old Squire died
CHAPTER XXVI
The old man was gathered to his fathers
It was the day after that on which he had been borne to the place appointed for all living A new coffin rested beside that of Catherine Harper in the family vault the portrait still smiled but on an empty bed There was no separation now
At Kingcombe Holm the house had awakened from its sleep of mourning the shutters were opened and the sunshine came in familiarly on the familiar rooms—where was missed the presence of him who had abided there for threescore years and ten But what were they Counted only as labour and sorrow—they had all passed away and he was gone
The family met—a large table circle They looked melancholy all in their weeds but otherwise were as usual A certain gravity and undertone in speaking alone remained Mary had again begun to busy herself over her housekeeping and Eulalie looking prettier than ever in her black dress was listening with satisfaction to the Reverend Mr Thorpe a worthy simple young man who had come at once to pay the family of his affianced the respect of attending the funeral and to plan another ceremony when the decent term of mourning should be expired
Major Harper now recovering something of his old elasticity of manner took the place at the foot of the breakfasttable whence Mary presiding as usual cast over to him glances sometimes of pride sometimes of doubtful curiosity as if speculating on what sort of a ruler the future head of the house would be
A very courteous and graceful one most surely—to judge by the way in which he was doing the agreeable to his sisterinlaw Quite harmlessly only it seemed as necessary for Major Harper to warm himself in the fair looks of some woman or other as for a drenched butterfly to dry its wings in the sunshine He was indeed a poor helpless human butterfly not made for cloudy weather storm or night
But he fluttered in vain Agatha took no notice of him whatsoever Her whole nature had deepened down to other things—things far beneath the shallow ken of Major Harper
During this week when the numerous duties of the brothers of the family left its womenkind nearly alone shut up in the house of mourning with nothing outwardly to do or to think of beyond the fold of crape or a gown or the make of a bonnet—Agatha had learnt strange secrets They were not of Death but of Love
She had seen very little of her husband Either by necessity or design he had been almost constantly away at Thornhurst arranging business for Miss Valery who had gone home sometimes at Kingcombe in his own house—his lonely house and for two days and nights to the astonishment and slight scandal of his sisters he had been absent in Cornwall But wherever he was or whatever he had to do he either saw or wrote to his wife every day kind grave words or kinder letters brotherlike in their wisdom and tenderness—just the sort of tenderness that he seemed to believe she would wish for from him
Agatha accepted all—these brief meetings—these constant letters saw the wounding curiosity of his sisters relax and even Harriet Dugdale acknowledged how mistaken had been her former notions and on what excellent terms her brother and his wife now evidently were she really never thought Nathanael would have made such an attentive affectionate husband And Agatha smiled outwardly a proud satisfied smile while inwardly—oh what a crushed remorseful passionate heart was there
A heart which now began to know itself—at once its fulness and its cravings A heart thirsting for that love wanting which marriage is but a dead corrupting body without the soul—love the true lifeunion consisting of oneness of spirit sympathy thought and will—love which would have been the same had they lived twenty thousand miles apart ay had they never married at all but waited until eternity united those whom no earthly destinies could altogether put asunder Now out of her own soul she learnt—what not one human being in a million learns and yet the truth remains the same—the unity the immortality the divineness of Love to which the One Immortal and Divine gave His own name
She sat in her usual quiet mood she did everything in such a quiet selfcontained fashion now—sat idly talked to by Major Harper whom she did not hear at all She only heard at the further end of the table Nathanael talking to Mary Sometimes she stole a glance and thought how cordial his manner to his sister was and how tender his eyes could look at times And she sighed At her sigh her husband would turn see her listening to Frederick with that absent downcast look—and become silent
Not an angry jealous silence now—his whole manner showed how much he honoured and trusted his wife—but the hush of a deep abiding pain a sense of loss which nothing could ever reveal or remove
But men must keep up worldly duties it is only women and not all of these who can afford the luxury of a broken heart Mr Harper rose nerved for the days task—a painful one as all the family knew The elder brother had shrunk from it and it had been left to Nathanael who in all things was now the thinker and the doer The impression of this had fixed itself outwardly effacing the last remnant of his boyish looks As he stood leaning over Mary Agatha thought he had already the aspect of middle age
It will not take me long Mary since you say my father kept his papers in such order Probably I shall have done by the time the Dugdales come You are quite sure there was a will
Quite sure you will probably find it in the cabinet I saw him looking there the very afternoon of the day he died I was calling him to dinner but his back was turned and I could not make him understand—poor father
Marys eyes filled but the younger brother said a few kind words and her grief ceased The rest were silent and serious until Nathanael going away addressed Frederick rather formally All speech between them though smooth was invariably formal and rare
You are satisfied to leave this duty in my hands—you do not wish to share it
Oh no no hurriedly answered the other walking away in the sunny windowseat and breathing its freshness eagerly as if to drive away the bare thought of death and the grave
Nathanael went out—but ere he had closed the door a little hand touched him
What do you want Agatha
I should like to go with you if you would allow—that is if you would not forbid me
Forbid you Nay But—
I want—not to interrupt you or share any family secrets—but just to sit near you in the room This is such a strange dreary house now And she shivered
Her husband sighed Poor child—such a child to be in the midst of us and our trouble Come with me if you will And he took her into the study
No one had been there since the father died directly afterwards some careful hand had locked the door and brought the key to Nathanael and it was the only room in the house whose window undarkened had met during all that week the eye of day It felt close with sunshine and want of air Mr Harper opened the casement and placed an armchair beside it where Agatha might look out on the chrysanthemum bed and the tall evergreen where a robin sat singing He pointed out both to her as if wishing to fortify her with a sense of life and cheerfulness and then sat down to the gloomy task of looking over his fathers papers
They were very few—at least those left open in the desk merely accounts of the estate kept with brevity and with much apparent labour sixty years ago literature nay education were at a low ebb among English country gentlemen But all the papers were so carefully arranged that Nathanael had nothing to do but to glance over them and tie them up—simple yearly records of the just life and honest dealings of a good man who transferred unencumbered to his children the trust left by his ancestors
I think said Nathanael—breaking the dreary silence—I think there never was one of the Harper line who lived a long life so stainlessly so honourably as my father
And somehow as he tied up the packets his finger slightly trembled Agatha came and stood by him
Let me help you I have ready hands
But why should I make use of them
Have you not a right she said smiling
Nay I never claim as a right anything which is not freely given
But I give it It pleases me to help you said Agatha in a low tone afraid of her own voice She took the papers from him and tried to make herself busy in her innocent way It cheered her
Nathanael watched her for a minute You are very neathanded Agatha and it is kind of you to help me
Oh I would help any one Foolish thoughtless words He said no more but went and looked over the cabinet
This was a sadder duty There were letters extending over more than a half century The Squire received so few that he seemed never to have burnt one The oldest—fifty years old—were loveletters of the time when people wrote loveletters beginning Honoured Miss and Dear and respected Sir overlaying the plain hearttruth with no sentimentalisms of the pen The signatures Catherine Grey and Nathanael Harper in round formal girl and boy hand told how young they were when this correspondence began—young still when its sudden ceasing showed that courtship had become marriage From that time for nearly twenty years there was scarcely a letter signed Catharine Harper
This looks said Agatha who unconsciously to both had come to stand by her husband and share in his task—this looks as if they were so rarely parted that they had no need for letterwriting
It was so I believe my father and mother lived very happily together
I should like to read these letters all through if I might They are the only loveletters I ever saw
Are they indeed
The sharp questioning look startled Agatha She remembered that first letter of Nathanaels—perhaps he was vexed that she had apparently forgotten it—the letter which had been such a solemn epoch in her young life She coloured vividly and painfully
I mean—that is—
Her husband looked another way You shall have these letters if you so much desire it
Thank you I would like to keep something of your mothers And she was indeed so happy in her marriage
Very happy Anne Valery says My fathers was not a perfect temper but she understood him thoroughly and he trusted her He had need he knew—what is a rare thing in marriage nowadays—that he had been his wifes first love
Agatha made no reply and the conversation dropped
Next to Mrs Harpers letters and preserved with almost equal care was another packet It began with a childs scrawl—doublelined upright and stiff
My dear Father
Uncle Brian has ruled me this paper and ruled Anne another We are all very merry at Weymouth We dont want to come home except to see—here a word apparently ponies had been carefully altered by a more delicate hand into something like Papa—Annes love and everybodys from your dutiful son
Frederick
Frederick—I thought the letter was yours
No if he had kept any it was sure to be my brothers Frederick must have them back
Let me tie them up said Agatha stretching out her hand
No—no—are they so very precious Why do you want to touch them said he sharply drawing them out of her reach
Only that I might help you
Mr Harper regarded her a moment and then put back the letters into her lap Forgive me I did not mean to be cross with you But this task confuses me
He leaned his elbow on the cabinet covering his eyes and stood thus for two or three minutes Agatha remained silent—who could have intruded on the emotion of a son at such a time None but a wife who could have stolen into his heart with a closer dearer claim and she alas she dared not Weeks ago—when she believed herself wronged—it would have been far easier The higher he rose the lower she sank weighed down by the bitter humility that always comes with fervent love She watched him—her heart throbbing bursting yearning to cast itself at his feet—yet she dared not
Now let us look over some other letters I wonder whether Mary was right and it is here we shall find the will
He then was only thinking of letters and wills Agatha turned away and went to sit by the window and watch the chrysanthemums
At last she was attracted back by her husbands voice
This is the will I see by the endorsement Take it Agatha we will not touch it till the Dugdales come And here are more letters to my father Do you think I ought to burn them or look them over first
The confidential tone in which he spoke soothed Agatha It was a sort of tacit acknowledgment of her wifely rights to his trust
I think suppose you look them over—
I cannot said he wearily Will you And he gave her a handful in her lap Agatha felt pleased she thanked him and turned them over one by one
Here is a hand which looks like Miss Valerys
It is hers Set them by
She opened another in a careless and very illegible hand which she could not recognise at all
My dear Brother
The approaching marriage in your family of which you inform me unfortunately cannot alter my plans I must recover my lost fortunes abroad
Frederick told me yesterday his certainty of being accepted by Miss Valery He might have told me sooner but perhaps thought me too much of a crusty old bachelor to sympathise with his felicity Possibly I am
You ask if Anne has communicated to me the coming change in her life No
Farewell brother and God bless you and yours
B L H
Why this is Uncle Brian cried Agatha giving the letter to her husband He read it laid it aside without comment and sat thinking She did the same Turning their eyes met and they understood each others thoughts but apparently neither liked to speak At last Nathanael said
It must have been so though I never guessed it before
But I did though she never openly told me
Well it is a strange world mused the young man Poor Uncle Brian
When do you expect him home
Any day every day Thank God
Did you not think she seemed a little better yesterday said Agatha hesitatingly Just a very little you know
A little better is she ill What very ill—Agathas mute answer was enough Oh poor poor Anne And he is coming home
Perhaps said Agatha shocked to see her husbands emotion—perhaps if we take great care and she is very happy—people must live when they are happy—
Few would live at all then was the answer unwontedly bitter Better not—better not poor Anne It is a hard cruel miserable world
Why do you say that Nathanael
He started and Agatha too for opening the door with a bright clear look was she of whom they were just talking—Anne Valery
I knew I might come in I heard what you were doing here and a slight sadness crossed her face Is it all done now
Nearly and Mrs Harper hurriedly folded the letter which lay still on her lap Miss Valerys eye caught the writing Nathanael gave it to her
Anne read it at first with a natural womanly feeling—nay even agitation Soon this ceased absorbed in the infinite peace and content of her whole mien I knew all this long ago she said calmly It was a—a mistake of Fredericks—Then still calmly What do you think I have just heard from Marmaduke—He—there could be but one she meant—he has safely landed at Havre
Uncle Brian the young people both cried and then instinctively repressed the joy It seemed too sacred to be expressed in ordinary fashion And passing naturally from one thought to another Nathanael glanced round the room the unused desk the scattered papers left to be examined by the unfamiliar hands of a younger generation Had the absent one come but a little sooner Alas he said it seems as if the worlds universal sorrow lay in those words Too late
Miss Valery sank on a chair her temporary strength departing Her hands dropped into that fold that was peculiar and habitual to them—a simple attitude not unlike Chantreys Resignation
You speak truly Nathanael But our times are in His hand
She said no more and shortly Mr Harper taking with him the sealed packet that was endorsed My Will led the way to where the family were assembled In doing so there grew over him the hard silence always visible when he was much affected But Agatha was not surprised or hurt she began to understand him better now
In the diningroom were only the immediate family Every one knew the probable purport of the will and how simple a document it was likely to be for the patriarchal old Squire hated the very mention of law and it had been his pride that though not entailed the inheritance of Kingcombe Holm had descended for centuries unbroken by a single legal squabble Therefore they all waited indifferently merely to go through a necessary form Harriet Dugdale and her husband Eulalie and her fiancé and the solitary Mary Major Harper alone was rather restless especially when the three others came in from the study It was noticeable that with all his smooth manner Frederick never seemed quite at ease in the presence of Miss Valery Nevertheless he tried and successfully to assume his position as elder brother and present head of the family He gave Anne a gracious welcome
I scarcely expected you would have honoured us so far This is entirely a family meeting
Shall I leave
Oh no cried everybody at once Anne is so thoroughly one of the family
Certainly responded Major Harper bowing though his brows were knit He waited till Anne took her seat and then sat down silent Many changes vivid and various passed over his flexible mouth At last leaning forward he hid it with his hand There was a brief hush in the men of solemnity—in the women of mourning More than one tear splashed on the black dress of the tenderhearted Mary
Nathanael stood—the will in his hand—hesitating
It seems to me that as this is a family meeting we might—not necessarily but still out of kindness and respect—postpone it for a few days that the only remaining member of the family may be present
Who is that said the elder brother
Uncle Brian
One or two voices especially the Dugdales seconded this and eagerly proposed to wait for Uncle Brian
Impossible Major Harper said hastily I have engagements I cannot wait for any one
But—
Nathanael—dont argue Remember I am the elder brother Give me my fathers will Nathanael paused a moment and gave it The seal has been broken and refastened Frederick added breaking it with rather nervous hands He tried to glance over it but his eyes wandered unsteadily There take it and read I hate business
And he threw himself back in his seat which happened to be the old Squires especial chair Agatha thought it was thoughtless of him to use it
Nathanael read the will aloud It was dated ten years back and was in the Squires own hand drawn up simply but with perfect clearness The division of fortune was as they all expected a moderate funded sum to each of the daughters and to Nathanael the estate with all real and personal property to go to the eldest son There were a few small bequests to servants and one gift of the late Mrs Harpers jewels
I meant them the old man wrote for my eldest sons wife Disappointed in this I leave them to Anne Valery
Major Harper moved restlessly in his chair Anne sat quiet The young Agatha looked at them and wondered if people grew callous as they grew old
Is it all read said Frederick
Yes Stay here are a few lines a codicil I fancy affixed with seals to the body of the will I can hardly make it out
And as Mr Harper perused it his wife observed his countenance change He let the paper drop and sat silent
What is it Read cried Harrie Dugdale
I cannot—Anne will you God knows brothers and sisters—and he looked all round the circle with an eagerly appealing gaze—God knows I never knew or dreamed of this Anne read
Shall I read Major Harper
He was gazing out of the window with an absent air At the sound of her voice he started and gave some mechanical assent
Anne read the date—of only twelve days back
That was the very day that he was taken ill you know whispered Mary
The codicil began
I Nathanael Harper being in sound mind and body do hereby make my last will and testament utterly revoking all others in so far as relates to my two sons I leave to my younger son Nathanael Locke Harper all my landed real and personal estate praying that he may long live and maintain our name in honour at Kingcombe Holm To my eldest son—having no desire to expose to ruin the family estate or link the family name with more dishonour than it already bears—to my eldest son Frederick Harper I leave the sum of One Shilling
Annes reading ceased Dead silence utter frightened silence followed Then arose a chorus of womens voices—Oh Frederick—oh Frederick
Frederick rose feebly smiling It is a mistake—all a mistake My father was not in his right mind
The sisterly tide turned Oh hush Frederick How wicked of you to say so
Well read it over again said Marmaduke Dugdale waking up into the interests of the world around him Anne gave him the paper and he read it with his ponderous manly voice rounding out every bitter word which Anne had softened down All was undoubtedly legal signed in his own hand and witnessed by two of his servants There could be no doubt it was done immediately before the paralytic attack when he was perfectly in his senses indeed he could not be said ever to have lost them
The family sat awed by their fathers deed to question which never struck them for a moment—legal chicanery was not rife at Kingcombe Holm They looked at the disinherited brother with a sort of shrinking wonder as if he had done some great unknown wickedness He might have sat there ever so long consciencestricken and stupified but this family gaze stung him into violence
I say it is a cheat—how or by whom contrived I know not—but it is a cheat My father loved me—the only one of you who ever did If there was a coolness between us he forgave me when he died You all saw that
There was no denying it Every one remembered how the fathers last dying look of love had been on his eldest son Again the tide of family feeling changed They threw doubtful glances towards Nathanael except his wife But she drew closer to him and trembled and doubted no more
He stood meeting the eyes of all his family In his aspect was great distress but entire composure—not a shadow of hesitation or confusion Nor on the other hand was there any triumph When he spoke—they seemed expecting him to speak—his voice was low and steady
You know brother and all the rest of you know that I have had no hand in this matter
I know nothing of the sort cried Frederick I only know that I have been defrauded—disgraced—Not by any act of my fathers or he would not lie quiet in his grave My father always loved me And the quick feeling natural to Major Harper made him hesitate—unable to proceed But soon he continued vehemently
I will find out this Evil speakers malicious underhand hypocrites have turned my father against me I declare to Heaven that I never wronged any—
Frederick stopped—interrupted not by words for there was perfect silence—but by a certain quiet look of Anne Valerys which fastened on his face He turned crimson—he had so much of the woman in him though of womanhood in its weakest form He glanced from Miss Valery to Agatha and then back again
Anne—Anne Valery tell me do you know anything
Everything
You—even you For the moment he cowered in such emotion as was pitiful to see but it passed and he grew desperate
I say I will contest this will It shall be proved invalid My lawyer Grimes—
Mr Grimes has been here and is now gone to America Anne whispered I urged and assisted him to go that he should not throw disgrace on the family
Again Frederick cowered down then rose goaded to the last degree Nevertheless this will shall not stand I will throw it into Chancery I will leave for London this very day
Stay said Nathanael starting from deep thought and intercepting him as he was quitting the room One word Frederick
Not one You are all against me but I will brave you all I will have my rights—ay even if I plead my fathers insanity
Oh horrible cried his sisters
Frederick you know that to be impossible said Nathanael sternly
Then I will plead what may prove a deeper disgrace to the family than madness or even—what I am supposed to have done catching his brothers arm and hissing out the words in his face—I will plead that the will is a forgery
Nathanael wrenched away his hold thereby throwing Frederick back almost to the floor The two stood for a moment glaring at one another in that deadly animosity most deadly when it arises between brothers—and then the younger recovered himself It might be because instantaneously as the struggle had begun and ended he had heard a womans cry of terror and the name uttered was not Frederick but Nathanael Also as he stood he felt two little hands steal from behind and tighten over his own He grew very calm then
Frederick you must unsay that word There are some things which a man cannot bear even from his brother No doubt can exist that this is my fathers own writing and no forgery You know that as well as I do
As well as you do Exactly what I meant to observe said Major Harper with his keenest and politest sneer
Nathanael moved back A mans roused passions are always terrible but there is something ten times more awful in fury that is altogether calm—molten down as it were to a white heat Never but once—that uneffaceable once—had Agatha seen her husband look as he looked now
Pause one minute Frederick If you had waited and heard me speak——
I dare you to speak
It would be better not to dare me I am at my last ebb of patience I have kept faithfully my promise to you None of our family know—not even my own wife—all that is known by you and me and our father whom we buried yesterday I would have saved him from the knowledge if I could but it was not to be Now take care If you drive me to it—
He hesitated Agatha felt his hand—the thin boyish hand—grow cold as ice and rigid as iron She uttered a faint cry
Agatha my wife with the old sweetness in the whisper go and sit down Leave me to reason with my brother
No let me do that said one coming between It was Anne Valery
She had risen from the chair where during almost all this time she had sat like a statue only none watched her not even Agatha When she rose it was with a motion so slow and gliding her soft black dress scarcely rustling as she moved that Frederick Harper might well start thinking a supernatural touch was on his arm
Anne is it you I had forgotten you No—he muttered half to himself turning from the contest with his brother to gaze on her—no I never did—never do forget you
I believe that Come and speak to me here
Unresisted she put her arm in his and led him away to the deep baywindow circled with a lowcushioned sill such as delights children Anne sat down
Are you determined on this cruel course
I must recover my rights was the sullen answer Any man would
And when you have done this—supposing it practicable—what further do you purpose
What further He looked puzzled but at last perceived her meaning With an impulse eagerly caught as Major Harper caught all impulses good and ill he cried—Yes I understand you My first act on coming to my property shall be to right poor Agatha
I thought so said Anne kindly But you will not be able There are others whose claims will be upon you the instant you have money to satisfy them—the shareholders They know nothing of Agatha Bowen Remember you expended her fortune as you worked the mine—in your own name
Major Harper looked confounded with shame And you knew all this Anne—you For how long
For some months—ever since I bought Wheal Caroline
And you never betrayed me
We were playfellows Frederick She spoke softly and turned her face to the other side of the baywindow
He forgot she was old now—he remembered only the familiar voice and attitude the same as when in her girlish days she used to sit on the cushioned windowsill and talk with him for hours
Playfellows Was that all Anne Only playfellows
Only playfellows she repeated firmly Never anything more You knew that always And perhaps unconsciously Anne looked down on a ring—plain not unlike a childish keepsake—which she always wore on the weddingfinger of her left hand
Major Harper sighed not one of his sentimental sighs but one from the deeps of his heart A smile hollow and sad followed it I suppose it is idle talking now but—but—you were my firstlove Anne If things had gone differently I might have been a different man
Not so God ordained your fate not I No man need be ruined for life because a woman cannot love him Human beings hang not on one another in that blind way We have each an individual soul on another soul may rest all its hopes and joys but on God only rests its worth its duties and its nobility We may live to do His work and rejoice therein long after we have forgotten the very sound of that idle word—happiness
She paused
Go on you talk as you always used to do
Not quite said Anne with a faint smile I am hardly strong enough Frederick and her eyes had their former lovely earnest look—earnest almost to tears save that girltears had from them long been dried—Frederick for the sake of our olden days—of your mother whom we both loved—of your father who has gone to her—listen to me for a little Trust to your brother—he will not act unjustly Do not create dissensions in your family do not let people say that the moment Mr Harpers head was laid in the grave his children quarrelled over his property
I do not quarrel—I but take my right cried Major Harper becoming again the man of the world as he saw the curious glances that from time to time reached the baywindow Thank you for this good advice for which my brother owes you even more than I But I am not a child now nor a boy in love to be talked over by a woman
Miss Valery rose rather proudly Nor am I that woman Major Harper But I have been so long united in affection with your family I could not bear to think it would be brought to dishonour Surely—surely you will not be the one to do it
Again as he turned to go she drew him back by those earnest eyes
Frederick it would grieve me so ay break my heart to see them brought into open shame the old familiar home and the name—the dear dear name
Major Harpers bitter tongue burst its control and stung I now see your motive Everybody knows how very dearly Anne Valery has all her life loved the Harper name
Anne rose to her full height and a blush vivid as a girls dyed her cheek I have she said—I have loved it and I am not ashamed
The blush paled—she sank back on the windowsill Major Harper was alarmed
Anne—how ill you look What have I done to you
Nothing she answered and catching his arm drew herself upright once more
Frederick we were children together and you loved me some day you will remember that Afterwards we grew up young people and still thinking you loved me—but it was only vanity then—you did me a great wrong I will not say how or when or why and no one knows the fact save me—but you did it You did the same wrong to another lately
How—how
You said to Mrs Thornycroft—you see I have learnt all for I wrote and asked her—you said that you feared poor little Agatha loved you and—
I know—I know
You know too that vanity misled you that it was not true But it was a wicked thing to say trifling with a womans honour—torturing those who loved her—bringing on her worlds of suffering Still she is young and her suffering may end in joy—mine—
Anne paused the human nature struggled hard within her breast—she was not quite old yet At length it calmed down—that last anguished cry of the soul against its appointed destiny
She took her old playmate by the hand saying gently
I am going away soon—going home Before I go I would like to say as I used to do when you were unkind to me as a child Goodnight and I forgive Fred everything
Oh Anne—Anne He kissed her hand in strong emotion
Hush I cannot talk more she went on quickly You will do as I ask You will wait until—until—
She stopped speaking and put her handkerchief to her lips Slowly slowly red drops shone through its folds Major Harper called wildly for his sisters
I knew how it would be cried Mary Harper It has happened twice before and Doctor Mason said if it happened again—
Oh God forgive me groaned Frederick as his brother carried Anne Valery away She will die—and I shall have killed her
CHAPTER XXVII
Anne Valery did not die Agatha had said she would not and the young hearts creed was true It had its foundation in a higher law than that of physical suffering
After a few days she was able to be moved to her own house according to her earnest desire after a few more the energy of her mind seemed to put miraculous strength into her feeble body
I knew you would get well said Agatha joyfully as she watched her patient returning to ordinary household ways only lying down a little more than Anne was used to do and speaking seldom and low always for fear of the bleeding at the lungs I knew you must get well but I never saw anybody get well so fast as you
I had need Anne answered I have so much to do
That you always have What a busy rich life—rich in the best sense—yours has been How unlike mine
I hope so—in many things said Anne to herself But I must not speak much I talked my last talk with poor Frederick in the baywindow Where is Frederick
He has been riding up and down the country day after day—he seems to find no rest
Anne looked sorry And we are so quiet here
It was indeed very quiet that sombre house at Thornhurst through whose wintry rooms no one wandered but Agatha excepting the old attached servants Yet this was of her own will She had been jealous that any one should attempt to nurse Anne but herself She left even her own home to do it Yet—the bitter thought followed her ever—this last was small renunciation No one would miss her there
During the days when Miss Valery lay ill the world without had been shut from Agathas view Womanlike she lived within the four walls and beside the sick couch and had only seen her husband for a few minutes each day when though he talked to her only of Anne his manner had a soft reverent tenderness and a troubled humility as if he began to see a different image in his young wife She was different and he too Neither knew how or when the change came—but it was there
She did so miss him when having taken them safe to Thornhurst and told her that she might stay there as long as Anne needed her but no longer—ah that happy but—he went away to his own little house at Kingcombe and busied himself there for three days
Do you think Nathanael will come and see us this morning said Anne looking up from the papers with which she was occupied towards Agatha who stood at the window watching down the road
Did you want my husband
Oh no I can do my business myself now But I think he will come
Why do you think so
Why—Child come here And as Agatha knelt by the sofa Miss Valery leaned over her twisting her curls and stroking down the lids over her brown eyes in the babyish fondling ways which all good people can condescend to at times especially when recovering from sickness
She is a foolish child Did she fancy nobody loved her Did she think everybody believed she was wicked and so she was now and then very wicked Does she suppose nobody sees her poor little goodnesses Oh but they do They will find all out without my telling It is best to leave things alone
You must not speak it will do you harm
Not thus whispering Nay lay the head down again Imagine it only a little bird in the air talking to my child Some kind of characters—I once knew the like well—and Annes whisper came through a half sigh—are very proud and jealous over the thing they love They cannot bear a breath to rest on it or to go from it to any other than themselves They are very silent too would die rather than complain They are strongwilled and secret—and as for persuading them to anything against their will you might as well attempt to cleave with your little hand to the heart of a great oak You must shine over it and rain softly on it and cling close round it and it will take you into its arms and support you safe and hang you all round with beautiful leaves But you must always remember that it is a noble forestoak and that you are only its dews or its sunshine or its ivy garland You must never attempt to come between it and the skies
Anne ceased Agatha looked up with moistened eyelids
I understand I will try—if you will stay with me I cannot do anything right without you
Anne smiled Poor little Agatha Not even with the help of her husband
My husband Oh teach me to be a good wife such a wife as you would have been—as you may be—
Agatha felt a soft finger closing her lips and knew that on that subject there must still be as ever total silence She hid her face and obeyed
At length Miss Valery started There is a horse coming down the road I think Go look It may be your husband
Agatha rose and ran to the window
Anne half rose too I fancy I hear two horses Is anybody with Nathanael
Only Mr Dugdale
Ah well There was the slightest possible compression of eyelids and mouth and Anne resumed her place again It is very kind of Marmaduke
The visitors came in softly Duke Dugdale was the kindest gentlest soul to any one that was ill—wise as a doctor merry as a child But now—though he strove to hide it—his countenance was overcast
Its no use Anne he said after a brief greeting during which he felt her pulse in quite a professional way and pronounced it stronger—much stronger—and too quick almost
What is of no use
Brian Harper wont come home All his abominable con—yes Ill out with it—his confounded pride And Duke tried to look very savage but couldnt manage it
Where is he
Somewhere near Havre we cant make out where He will not write Ask Nathanael
I am afraid it is too true said Nathanael leaving his wife to whom he had been talking by the window I shall have to hunt him out and use all my persuasions before he will come home because he is too proud to return poor as he went out What shall I say to him Anne I shall start tomorrow
Agatha turned quickly round Her husband did not see her anxious look—he was watching Miss Valery
Tell him Nathanael that his brother is dead and his presence needed in the family Once make him understand that it is right to come and he will come No one was ever more able to do or to suffer for the right than Brian Harper
Marmaduke shook her hand heartily Anne you are as wise as a man and as faithful as a woman If poor Brian were going to be hanged for murder I do believehis old friend would find a good word to say for him
Well said Nathanael after a silence I shall go to Havre tomorrow You can spare me Anne And for my wife—
Agatha hung her head A vague dread smote her She would have given worlds to have courage enough to beg him not to go
Havre is across the sea she murmured Surely Uncle Brian would come home in time if you waited
Waited she caught a sight of Annes bent profile marblelike with the shut eyes Waited
Agatha crept to her husbands side No—no waiting she whispered Go I would not keep you back an hour Bring him Quick—quick
Could Anne have heard that she wakened up into such a lifelike smile No dear you must not send your husband away so hastily Let him sail from Southampton tomorrow that will do He wants to talk to you today
Nathanael looked surprised It is true I did and I told my brother to meet me here this afternoon Did you know that too
I guessed it You are doing right quite right I knew you would I knew you Nathanael
She held out her hand to him warmly
Dear Anne But you forget—it is not I only who have to do it
Not a word Go and tell her all Let her be the first to hear it Away with you the sun is coming out Run and talk in the gardenalleys children
Her manner so playful yet full of keen penetration drove them away like a battery of sunbeams
What does she mean said Agatha looking up puzzled as they stood in the hall
She reads peoples minds wonderfully clear she always did but clearer than ever now It is strange Agatha do you think—
I think all sorts of things about her—different and contrary every hour But the chief thought of all is that you must go to Havre at once I long for Uncle Brians coming How soon can you return
As soon as practicable you may be sure of that But you must relax your interest even in Uncle Brian just now I want to talk to you Shall we go as Anne said into the gardenalleys
Anywhere that is sunny and warm said Agatha with a light shiver Her husband regarded her with that serious pathetic smile which was one of his frequent moods
Must you always have sunshine Agatha Could you not walk a little while in the shade Not if I were with you
She cast her eyes down trembling with a vague apprehension of ill then gazed in the kind face that grew kinder and dearer every day She put her hand in her husbands without speaking a word He folded it up close the soft little hand and looked pleased
Come now let us go into the garden
Agatha wrapped a shawl about her gipsyfashion and met him there It was one of those mild days that sometimes come near upon Christmas as if the year had repented itself and just before dying was dreaming of its lost springtide The arbutustrees were glistening with sunshine and under the high wall a row of camellias grown in great bushes in the open air the pride of Annes gardener and of the whole county of Dorset were beginning to show buds red white and variegated as beautiful as summer roses
I used to be so fond of this walk when I was a little lad said Nathanael I remember after I had the scarletfever being nursed well here and how every day when my brother came he used to carry me up and down this sunny walk on his back Poor Fred he was the kindest fellow to children
Kindness seems his nature I think that if your brother did any harm it would never be through malice or intention but only weakness of character
I perceive Mr Harper said abruptly—you have no bitter feeling against my brother Frederick
How could I He never did me wrong Except perhaps it was his carelessness that made me poor Here Agatha hesitated for she was touching upon a dangerous subject—one so fraught with present emotion and with references to past suffering that hitherto both husband and wife had by tacit consent abstained from it There had been no confidential talk of any kind between them
Go on her husband said we must speak of these things some time why not now
Though he made me poor she continued it was probably through accident And I have no fear of poverty—how simply and ignorantly she pronounced that terrible word—I do not mind it in the least if you do not
Was there any need for that if Agatha
No she replied and was silent Shame and remorse gathered over her like a cloud She thought of those wicked words she had spoken—words which to this day he had neither answered nor revenged He had even suffered the smooth surface of daily kindnesses to grow over that gaping wound of division Was it there still Did he remember it Could she dare to allude to it if only to implore him to forgive her She would in a little time—perhaps when they were by themselves in their own house when she would throw herself at his knees and weep out a confession that was beyond all words—words could but insult him the more There are some wounds that can only be healed by love and silence
I think it is time said the husband—full time that you heard all or nearly all connected with this painful matter It is mere business which I will try to make intelligible if possible You ought not to be quite so ignorant of worldly matters as you are since if anything happened to me—But I have provided against almost everything
What are you talking of said Agatha holding him tight with a faint intuition of his meaning
Of nothing painful Do not be afraid Only that I think it right to explain to you what has occurred to us since our marriage—in worldly things I mean
Yes I am listening
Before we married he continued distinctly and rather proudly I knew nothing whatever of your fortune—not even its amount I made no inquiries interfered in no way except reading the settlement I signed The settlement stated that your property was safe in the Funds This was a—his brow darkened—it was—not true The whole had been taken out contrary to your fathers expressed will and embarked in a mining speculation in Cornwall
Those miners whom Miss Valery aided Was it my money that was wasted at Wheal Caroline Was it me from whom the poor miner came to seek redress
No the transaction was more blameable even than that It was all carried on in my brothers name He was made what they call managing director of the company Grimes being solicitor There were a few shareholders—his clients—widows and unmarried women who had put by their savings and such like poor people who wanted large interest and some richer ones important enough to make public their ruin—for everybody lost all
But the poorer shareholders—the widows—the old maids
Ay theres the pity—theres the wickedness said Nathanael beneath his breath People tell me such things are common in England but I would have starved rather than have been mixed up in such a transaction even in the smallest way and with property that was bona fide my own
And said Agatha slowly understanding this property was not Major Harpers own Also his doing the thing secretly afterwards and leading you to believe what was—not quite true I must say it I think it was very wrong of your brother
Dont let us talk of him more than we can help Remember—a brother Agatha
More light dawning on his strange conduct his selfcommand his secrecy even with her His wife clung to his arm her heart brimming with emotion that she dared not pour out For he seemed inclined to be reserved even now
You see he added as they walked along I have had some few things to try me
Agatha pressed his arm Oh that she could break through that awe of him and his goodness that shame of her own foolish erring self
Agatha he said stopping suddenly the thing that hurt me was my father If only he had died a month ago and never heard of this
If only now Agatha could speak But she felt choking They walked past the windows and looked in There is Anne sitting by herself as she used to sit watching Fred and me in the garden He was such a handsome gay young man I felt so proud of being his little brother And my poor father—he had not a hope in the world that did not rest on Frederick
He walked on rapidly back into the shadiest and darkest walk There he stopped Agatha taking both her hands and reading her features closely—Agatha would you be very unhappy if we went back and lived poor in the little cottage
Unhappy I
I would try that you should not be I can earn quite enough to give you many comforts We should not be any more content if we claimed our rights and lived in prosperity at Kingcombe Holm
Oh no
Besides I am not sure that these are our rights morally speaking I think if my father had lived long enough he would have undone what he did in a moment of passion and let the first will stand This is what I have said to myself when considering that I have duties towards my wife as well as towards others and that this would restore what was taken from her An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth But Agatha we would not urge that law
Never God forbid And Major Harper was so kind to me when I was an orphan
Only kind Did he never—No I am getting foolish Say on Agatha Come sit here we can talk and nobody can see or hear us And he led his wife to a sheltered arbutusbower Well was my brother so kind to you
He was indeed For the sake of that time I would forgive him anything I have already forgiven him a good deal
Indeed Tell me or not as you choose I urge no right to pry into your secrets
Oh dont look dont speak in that way Why should I not tell you I would have told you before had you asked It was nothing—indeed nothing But I was a proud girl and he made me angry with him
For what cause
She grew confused—hesitated the shamefacedness of girlhood came over her I will tell you she said at last boldly It is surely no harm to tell anything to my husband—Major Harper once said to Emma Thornycroft that he thought I was in love with him
Well
It was cruel it was wicked it insulted my pride And more than that—it wounded me to the heart that he should say so
Was it—dont speak if you dont like—was it true
No cried Agatha the blood rushing in a torrent over her face No it was not true I liked I admired him in a free girlish way but I never never loved him
There was a minutes hush in the arbutusbower and then Nathanael sank down to his wifes side—down lower yet to her very feet He wrapped his arms round her waist laying his head in her lap His whole frame shook convulsively
Oh Heaven You surely did not think that cried Agatha appalled
I did ever since the day we were married I heard him say so in the church—He repeated it to me afterwards—And it was a lie Curse—
No no forgive him And Agatha sobbed on her husbands neck clasped by him as she never thought he would clasp her in this world
At last he rose pale and sad There is other forgiveness needed I have been very cruel to you Agatha I had made him a promise and to it I sacrificed myself and you too without remorse But now you see how it was I could have judged my brother that I loved I dared not slay my enemy
The only answer was a soft handpressure
I hardly know what I am about Agatha—not even whether or no my wife loves me she did not when we were first married I fear
Agatha drooped her head
Never mind she shall love me yet I am quite fearless now He stood up holding her tight in his arms as if daring the whole world to wrest her from him His whole aspect was changed It was like the breaking up of an Arctic winter when the trees bud and the rivers pour sounding down and the sun bursts out reigning gloriously For a long time they remained thus clasped together so motionless that the little robin of the arbutustrees hopped on to a bough near them and began a song
We must go in now said Agatha
Ay we must not forget Anne or anybody One can do so much good when one is happy
I feel so She rose hanging on his arm but trembling still almost frightened by the insanity of his joy whirled dizzily in the torrent of his overwhelming love
You understand now what I had to say to you You can guess how I mean to act as regards my brother
I think I can
And you will give your consent Without it I would have done nothing I would not have taken from my wife these worldly goods and left her only me and my love unless she willed it so
I do will it
God bless her He lifted Agatha from her feet rocking her in his arms like a baby I always said God bless her even when I was most wretched—most mad I knew she was one of His angels—a woman worthy of all love though she had none for me I was not very cruel to her was I
No—no
I will never be cruel to her any more I will smother down all my pride my reserve the horrible suspiciousness which is rooted in my nature I will never doubt or wound her—only love her—only love her
Breathless Agatha trembled to her feet again Her husband stood by her side—calmer now and radiant in the beauty of his youth Manly as he was there was something about him which could only be expressed by the word beautiful—a something that be he ever so old would keep up his boyish likeness—his look of the angel Gabriel
Let us go into the house now
They went—those two young hearts thrilling and bounding with life and joy—into the darkening house the hushed presence of Anne Valery
She was lying on her sofa very still and deathlike The white cap tied under her chin the hands folded—the perfect silence in and about the room—it was like as if she had lain down to rest calmly and alone in her solitary house and in her sleep the spirit had flown away—away into the glorious company of angels and archangels never to be alone any more
But it was not so Hearing footsteps Anne opened her eyes and roused herself quickly She looked from one to the other of the young people—at the first glance she seemed to understand all A great joy flashed across her but she said nothing She as well as they were long used to that peculiarity of nature—which especially belonged to the Harper family—a conviction of the uselessness of talk and the sacredness of silence
Has my brother arrived said Nathanael
Not yet
Marmaduke is gone
Yes he wanted to get up a Freetrade dinner for the welcoming—here she smiled—of one whom he says all Dorset will be delighted to welcome—your Uncle Brian Worthy Duke It is his hobby and one likes to indulge him in it
Most certainly And where is the dinner—Uncle Brians grand dinner—to take place
I persuaded him to change it into a public meeting and give the claycutters—many of them Mr Locke Harpers former people and some now old and poor—a New Years feast instead You will see to that Nathanael And she laid her hand on his arm with rather more earnestness than the simple request warranted
Nathanael assented hastily and spoke of something else
I am rather sorry I asked my brother to meet me here I forgot he has not been to Thornhurst for so many years
It is time then that he came said Anne gently I shall be very glad to see him
While she was speaking her old servant entered with the announcement of Major Harper
Just the Major Harper of old—welldressed courtly with his singularly handsome face and his short dark moustache sufficient to mark the military gentleman without degrading him into the puppy Major Harper with his habitual goodnatured smile and faultless bearing so gracefully welcomed so gaily familiar in London drawingrooms—But here—
He paused at the door glanced hastily round the old familiar room with the known pictures hanging on the walls and the windows opening on the straight alley of arbutustrees His smile grew rather meaningless—he hesitated
Will you come to this chair near me I am very glad to see you Major Harper
Thank you Miss Valery
He crossed the room to her sofa Nathanael making way for him He just acknowledged his brothers presence and Agathas then took Miss Valerys extended hand bowing over it with an attempt at his former grace
I hope I find your health quite reestablished This change to your own pleasant house—pleasant as ever I see—he once more glanced round it—paused—then altogether broke down It seems but a day since we were children Anne he said in a faltering voice
Agatha and her husband moved away They respected the one real feeling which had outlasted all his sentimentalism For several minutes they stood at the far window apart When Anne called them back Major Harper had recovered himself and was sitting by her
Nathanael our old friend here says you wished to speak with me
I did
Make haste then for I am going to London tonight I have made up my mind I cannot settle here in Dorsetshire
Not if it were your fathers wish—his last longing desire
Anne for Gods sake dont speak of my father He leant his elbow on the table and covered his eyes
Nathanael and Agatha exchanged looks then both smiled—the happy smile of a clear conscience and a heart at rest Tell him now whispered the wife to her husband
Brother
Major Harper lifted up his head
My elder brother And Nathanael offered the hand of peace which in spite of all outward and necessary association neither had offered or grasped since Fredericks return to Dorset
What do you mean
I mean that you are my elder brother—my fathers favourite always If he had lingered but another day he would doubtless have proved that and have done—what I intend to do just as if he had himself accomplished it Do you understand me
No And Major Harper looked thoroughly amazed
Do you see this which you either from forgetfulness or trust in me—I had rather believe the latter—left in my hands on that day And he drew from his pocket the will which had been read You spoke of throwing it into Chancery and there would be scope for a century of Chancery business here But I choose rather to respect the honour and unity of the family Therefore with my wifes entire consent in her presence Annes and yours I here do what my father had he lived would certainly have done
He took up the codicil separated it from the will to which it was fastened by seals and quietly as if it had been a fragment of worthless paper put it into the fire
Now Frederick the original will stands
Frederick sat motionless He seemed hardly to believe the evidence of his own eyes He watched the curling crackling paper with a sort of childish curiosity When at last it was completely destroyed he shut his eyes with a great sigh of satisfaction
Miss Valery softly touched him Major Harper every brother would not have acted thus
No indeed Just Heavens no he cried as the whole fact burst on him touching his impressible nature to the quick My dear Nathanael My dear Agatha God bless you both
He wrung their hands fervently and walked to the window strongly affected The husband and wife remained silent Anne Valery lay on her sofa and smoothed her thin fingers one over the other with a soft inward smile
How nobly you both act towards me and I—how have I acted towards you said the elder brother in deep and real compunction I would give half I possess to undo what has been done and all through my cursed folly and weakness Do you know that I have lost every penny of your fortune Agatha
Mr Grimes told me so lately
What only lately Did you not know before Did not your husband—
No she cried eagerly My husband never betrayed you even by a single word I am glad he did not I had far rather he had broken my heart than his own honour
Anne turned to look at the young face flushed with feeling and her own caught something of the glow though still she spoke not
But said Major Harper eagerly addressing his sisterinlaw—for Nathanael sat in one of those passive moods which those who knew him well alone could interpret—but my honour must not be broken either I must redeem all I lost and I will to the very last farthing Only wait a little and you shall have no cause to blame me my poor Agatha
Nay rich Agatha was the murmur that Nathanael heard as two little hands came from behind and alit on his shoulders like two soft white doves He caught them and rose contented cheerful and brave
No Frederick you must dismiss that idea It is untenable at least for a long time My wife and I are going to play at poverty He smiled and drew her nearer to him
Besides said Miss Valery putting in her quiet voice to which every one always listened now I think there are perhaps stronger claims than Agathas on Major Harper
Indeed Anne tell me what I can do Anything he added much moved so that my old friends may think well of me Speak
She did so raising herself though with some exertion and reassuming the sensible straightforward businesslike ways which through her long life of solitary independence had caused Anne Valery to be often called as Duke Dugdale called her such a wise woman
I should like very much to see all things settled in the Harper family Your sisters are provided for Eulalie will be married next year and you will keep Mary and Elizabeth always with you at Kingcombe Holm Promise that Frederick
He assented most energetically
There is no need to fear for these looking affectionately at Nathanael and his wife Work is good for young people and I—or others—will always see that they have work enough supplied to bring in wherewithal to keep the wolf from their door For the present they are a great deal better poor than rich
Thank you prudent Miss Valery said Nathanael laughing
She responded cheerfully and then turning to Major Harper went on with seriousness
In other instances much suffering has been caused by your means and I would not have it said that any suffered through the Harper family I have done what I could to prevent this Matters are mending at Wheal Caroline Nathanael tells me I shall have—that is there will be—a fine flaxharvest there next year
Speaking of next year Annes voice faltered but the momentary feebleness passed
Still there is one thing Frederick which nobody can do but you and it is necessary not only to save yourself but to redeem the honour of your house It will not cost you much—only a few years retrenchment living with your sisters at Kingcombe Holm
Again Major Harper protested there was nothing in the world he would not do for the sake of virtue and Anne Valery She drew her desk to her and gave him paper and pen
Write here that you will pay gradually to certain shareholders I know of the money they lost through trust in your name and in that of the family It is hardly a legal claim or if it be they are too poor to urge it—but I hold it as a bond of honour Will you do this Frederick Then I shall be happy knowing there is not a single stain on the Harper name
In speaking she had risen and come beside him looking faded wan and old now that she stood upright in her black dress and close cap Her beauty was altogether of the past but the moral influence remained
Frederick Harper took the pen hesitated and laid it down I do not know what to write
Anne wrote for him a few plain words such as a man of honour must inevitably hold as binding He watched idly the movement of the hand that wrote and the written lines
You have the same slender fingers Anne and your writing looks just as it used to do he said in a subdued voice
There now—sign
Sign—It is like witnessing a will said Major Harper laughing
I wish you to consider it so returned Anne in a low voice Consider it my last will—my last desire which you promise to fulfil for me
He looked at her took the pen and signed his hand trembling then kissed hers
Anne you know you were my first love
The words—said half jesting yet with a certain mournfulness—were scarcely out of his lips than he had quitted the room They soon heard the clatter of his horse along the avenue Major Harper was gone out into the busy world again He never set foot in quiet Thornhurst more
The three that were left behind breathed freer—perhaps they would hardly have acknowledged it but it was so
Well now it is all done said Nathanael as he drew closer to the sofa where Anne lay—with Agatha performing all sorts of little unnoticed cares about her And now I must think about going
No one asked him where but Agatha glancing out of the window thought with a shiver of the dreadful sea curving over into boundlessness from behind those hills
I find I must start at once he continued if I would catch the next boat to Havre It sails from Southampton tomorrow morning I have just time to ride back to Kingcombe and catch the mail train No Ill not let you come home with me he added answering a timid look of Agathas which seemed to ask should she come and help him No dear I can help myself—such a usefulhanded fellow doesnt want a wife even to pack up for him And possibly if you were with me I should only find it the harder to go It is rather hard
But it is right
I think said Anne—they had not known she was listening—I think it is right or I would not let Nathanael go And Heaven will take care of him and bring him safe home to you Agatha Be content
I was content she said somewhat lightly It was a strange thing but yet human nature that her husbands fits of passionate tenderness only seemed to make her own feelings grow calm Whether it was the shyness of her girlhood or the variableness of a love not spontaneous but slowly responsive or whether—a feeling wrong yet alas wondrously natural—it was the mere wilfulness of a woman who knows herself to be infinitely beloved certain it was that Agatha appeared not quite the same as a few hours before Affectionate still and happy happier than it is the nature of deep love to be yet there was a something wanting—some strong stroke to cleave her heart and show beyond all doubt what lay at its core The heart often needs such teaching and if so surely—most surely it will come
Agatha followed her husband to the hall He was grave with his leavetaking of Anne Valery who had looked less cheerful and had breathed rather than spoken the last God bless you—Come back soon The young man did not again say even to himself anything about his journey being hard
But as he stood in the hall with his wife he lingered Youth is youth and love is love and each seems so real—lifes only reality while it lasts No human being while drinking the magic cup ever looks or listens to those who have drank and set it down empty Be the history ever so sad each one thinks smiling Oh but I shall be happier than these
Nathanael took his wife in his arms to bid her goodbye She stood looking down bashful reserved but so fair And so good likewise—all her girlish whims could not hide her heartgoodness In her whole demeanour was the germ of that noble womanhood which every good man wishes his wife to possess that she may become his heart of hearts the desired and honoured of his soul and remain such long after all passion dies There was one thing only wanting in her—the light which played waveringly in and out—sometimes flashing so true and warm and bright and then disappearing into clouds and mist The husband could not catch it—not though his eyes were thirsting for the blessed ray
These few days will seem a long time Agatha
Will they
Nathanael took the smiling face between his hands and looked down far down into the brown depths of her eyes
Do you—He hesitated I never asked the question before knowing it vain but now when I am going away—when—
He paused the deep passion quivering through his voice—Do you love me Agatha
She smiled—some insane wicked influence must have been upon her—but she smiled hung her head in childish fashion and whispered I dont quite know
Well—well He sighed and after a brief silence bade her goodbye kissed her once and went towards the door
Ah—dont go yet I was very foolish I never never can be half so wise as you Forgive me
Forgive you my child Ay anything And he received her as she ran into his arms kissing her again tenderly with a sad earnestness that almost increased his love
Now I must go my darling wife Take care of yourself and goodbye
So they parted Agatha went in dryeyed then locked herself in the library and cried violently and long
CHAPTER XXVIII
They are sure to be home tomorrow nothing can prevent their being home tomorrow said Agatha as she read over neither for the first time nor the second nor the third her husbands letter received from Havre
It was night now and they were sitting by the fire in Miss Valerys dressingroom It had been one of Annes best days a wonderfully good day she had walked about the house and given several orders to her delighted servants who old as they were would have obeyed the most onerous commands for the pleasure of seeing their mistress strong enough to give them Some however wondered why she should be so particular about the order of a house that never was in disorder and especially why various furniture arrangements which had gradually in the course of time been altered should be pertinaciously restored so that all things might look just as they did years and years ago Also though it was a few days in advance of the orthodox day she would have the house adorned with Christmas until it looked a perfect bower
It do seem Mrs Harper said the old housekeeper confidentially—it do seem just as on the last merry Christmas afore the family was broke up and Mr Frederick turned soldier and Mr Locke Harper—thats his uncle—went away with little Master Nathanael Mr Locke Harper as is now
And Agatha had laughed very heartily at the idea of her husband being little Master Nathanael but she had not told this conversation to Anne Valery
All afternoon the house had been oppressively lively thanks to a visit from the Dugdale children which little elves were sent out of the way while their mother performed the not unnecessary duty of putting her establishment in order For Harrie was determined that her house and none other should have the honour of receiving Uncle Brian As Nathanael had taken for granted the same thing and as Mary Harper had likewise communicated her opinion that it was against all etiquette for her poor fathers only brother to be welcomed anywhere but at Kingcombe Holm there seemed likely to be a tolerable family fight over the possession of the said Uncle Brian
The little Dugdales had talked of him incessantly all day communicating their expectations concerning him in such a funny fashion that Agatha was ready to die with laughing and even Anne who had insisted on having the children about her was heard to laugh sometimes She let little Brian climb about her sofa and answered all sorts of eccentric questions from the others never seeming weary At last when the sound of merry young voices had died out of the house and its large lofty rooms grew solemn with the wailing of the wind Anne had retreated to her dressingroom where she sat watching the firelight or answering in fragments to Agathas conversation
This conversation was wandering enough catching up various topics and then letting them drop like broken threads but all winding themselves into one and the same subject They will be home tomorrow
I hope nay I am sure of it God willing said Anne softly He often puts hindrances in our way but in the end He always works things round and we see them clearly afterwards Still we ought hardly to say even of the strongest love or dearest wish we have It must be without also saying God willing
Agatha replied not This was a new doctrine for her How rarely in her young passionless sorrowless life she had thought of the few words oft used in cant and Agatha hated all cant—the will of God She pondered over them much
What sort of a night is it said Anne at length
Very dreary and rainy and the wind is high
No matter it will not reach them The Ardente will be safe in Southamptonwater by this time
Agatha recurred to the perpetual letter Yes so my husband tells me here
And therefore Miss Valery continued laying her hand over the paper his good little wife shall fold up this and not weary herself any more with anxiety about him Those who love ought above all others to trust in the love of God
After this they sat patient and content—nay oftentimes quite merry for Agatha strove hard to amuse her companion And the wind sang its song without—not threateningly but rather in mirth and the fire burnt brightly within And no one thought of them but as friends and servants—the terrible Wind the devouring Fire
It was growing late and Agatha began to use the petty tyranny with which Miss Valery had invested her insisting on her friends going to bed
I will presently only give me time—a little time I am not so young as you my child and have not so many hours to waste in sleeping There now Ill be good Wait—you see I am already pulling down my hair
She did so rather feebly It fell on her shoulders longer and thicker than any one would have believed—it was really beautiful except for those broad white streaks
What soft fine hair cried Agatha admiringly Ah you shall go without caps in the spring—I declare you shall
Not at my age
That cannot be so very ancient I shouldnt mind asking you the direct question for I am sure you are not one of those foolish women who are ashamed to tell their age as if any number of years matters while we keep a young warm heart
I am thirtynine or forty I forget which said Anne as she drew her fingers through the long locks gazing down on them with some pensiveness I myself never liked hair of this colour neither brown nor black but mine was always soft and smooth and some people used to think it pretty once
It is pretty now You will always be beautiful dear dear Anne I will call you Anne for you are scarcely older than I except in a few contemptible years not worth mentioning continued the girl sturdily And I will have you as happy too as I
Anne sat silent a minute or two the hair dropping over her face Then she raised it and looked into the fire with a calm sweet look that Agatha thought perfectly divine
I have been happy she said That is I have not been unhappy—God knows I have not I have had a great deal to do always and in all my labour was there profit It comforted me and helped to comfort others it made me feel that my life was not wholly thrown away as many an unmarried womans is but as no ones ever need be
But some are Think of Jane Ianson of whom Emma wrote me word yesterday If ever any woman spent a mournful useless life and died of a broken heart it was poor Jane Ianson
Her story was pitiful but she somewhat erred Anne answered thoughtfully No human being ought to die of a broken heart as the phrase is while God is in His heaven and has work to be done upon His earth There are but two things that can really throw a lasting shadow over womans existence—an unworthy love and a lost love The first ought to be rooted out at all risks for the other—let it stay There are more things in life than mere marrying and being happy And for love—a high pure holy love held ever faithful to one object—and as she spoke Annes whole face lightened and grew young—no fortune or misfortune—no time or distance—no power either in earth or heaven can alter that
There was a pause during which the two women sat silent and grave And the wind howled round the house and the fire crackled harmlessly in the chimney but they noticed neither—the fierce Wind—the awful Fire
It is a wild night said Agatha at last But they are landed at Southampton long ago Last night was lovely—such a moon and they were sure to sail because the Ardente only plies once a week and there is no other boat this wintertime Oh yes they are quite safe in Southampton I shouldnt wonder if they were both here to breakfast tomorrow
And Agatha with her little heart beating quick merrily and fast never thought to look at her companion Annes eyes were dilated her lips quivering—all her serenity was gone
Tomorrow—tomorrow she murmured and as with a sudden pain put her hand to her chest breathing hard and rapidly Agatha hold me fast—dont let me go—just for a little while—I cannot go
She clung to the young girl with a pallid frightened aspect like one who looks down into a place of darkness and shudders on its verge Never before had that expression been seen in Anne Valery Slowly it passed away leaving the calmness that was habitual to her Agatha hung round her neck and kissed her into smiles
Now she said rising let us both go to bed You look tired my child and we must have your very best looks when you make breakfast for them in the morning That is if they both come here
They will come—my husband says so He knows and is determined that Uncle Brian shall know—everything
Anne sat still—so still that her young companion was afraid she had vexed her
No dear—not vexed But no human being can know everything It lies between him and me—and God
So saying she rose fastened up the long hair in which the last lingering beauty of her youth lay—put on her little close cap and was again the composed gentle lady of middle age
She rung for the housekeeper and gave various orders for the morning desiring a few trivial additions to the breakfast which would have made Agatha smile but that she noted a slight hesitation in the voice that ordered them
Is there anything your husband would like especially I dont quite understand his ways
Agatha blushed as she answered—Nor I
You will not answer so in a few months hence said Anne when they were alone It is a very unromantic doctrine but few young wives know how much the happiness of a home depends on little things—that is if anything can be little which is done for his comfort and is pleasant to him Theres a lecture for you Mistress Agatha Now go to bed and rise in the morning to begin a new era as the happiest and best wife in all England
I will cried Agatha laughing though with a tear or two in her eyes To think how much Anne had guessed of the wretched past yet with true delicacy how entirely she had concealed that knowledge
They embraced silently and then Miss Valery went into her own room where year after year when all the duties and cheerfulness of the day were done the solitary woman had shut herself in—alone with her own heart and with God The young wife stood and looked with thoughtful reverence at the closed door of that room
It was eleven oclock yet somehow Mrs Harper did not feel inclined to go to bed She had too many things to think of too many plans to make and resolutions to form Her life must settle itself calmly now Its trouble tumult and uncertainty were over She felt quite sure of her husbands goodness—of his deep and tender love for herself—nay also of her own for him—only that was a different sort of feeling She thought less on this than on the other side of the subject—how sweet it was to be so dear to him She would try and deserve him more—be to him a faithful wife and a good housewife and make herself happy in his devotion
She smiled as she passed through the hall where he had stood and said Do you love me She wished she had frankly answered Yes as was indeed the truth only his strong love had lately made her own seem so poor and weak
Lingering on the spot which his feet had last pressed she tried to fancy him beside her and acted the scene over again making believe childish fashion that she stood on tiptoe attempting to reach up to his mouth—a very long way—and there breathing out the Yes in a perfectly justifiable and unquestionable fashion And then she laughed at her own conceit—the foolish little wife—and tripped off into the drawingroom lest the old butler who always went round the house at midnight to see that all was safe might catch her at her antics Still were they not quite natural Was she not a very happy and fondlyworshipped wife and was not her husband coming home the next morning
Entering the drawingroom her high spirits were somewhat sobered down its atmosphere felt so gloomy and cold The fire had nearly died out—the illnatured fire that did not know there was a cheerful little woman coming to sit beside it and dream of all sorts of pleasant things
I wish fires would never go out said Agatha rather crossly and she stirred it and blew it and cherished it as if it were the only pleasant companion in this dreary room
How I do love fire she said at last as she sat down on the hearthrug and warmed her little feet and hands by the blaze and would not look in the dark corners of the room but kept her face turned from them as during her life she had kept it turned away from all gloomy subjects Passionate anguish of her own making she had known but that stern irremediable sorrow which comes direct from the unseen Mover of all things and lays its heavy hand on the sufferers head saying Be still and know that I am God—this teaching which must come to every human soul that is worth its destiny had never yet come to Agatha Harper
Was it this unknown something even now tracking her that made her long for the familiar daylight and feel afraid of night with its silence its solitude and its dark
I will go to bed and try to sleep she said It is but a few hours My husband is certain to be here in the morning
She rose laughed at herself for starting on some slight noise in the quiet house—old Andrews locking up the front door probably—snuffed her candle to make it as bright as possible and prepared to go upstairs
A light knock at the door
Come in Andrews The fire is all safe and I shall vanish now
She said this without looking round When she did look she was somewhat surprised to see not the butler but Marmaduke Dugdale It was odd certainly but then Duke had such very odd ways and was always turning up at impossible hours and in eccentric fashion He looked eccentric enough now being thoroughly drenched with rain with a queer scared expression on his face
Agatha was amused by it Why what a late visitor The children are gone home hours ago though they waited ever so long for Pa Have you been all this while at Mr Trenchards
I havent been there at all
Agatha smiled
Dontee laugh—now dontee Mrs Harper And Duke sat down pushing the dripping hair from his forehead pulling his face into all sorts of contortions until at last it sunk between his hands and those clear honest always beautiful eyes alone confronted her There was that in their expression which startled Agatha
What did you come for so late Mr Dugdale
What did I come for he vaguely repeated Now dontee tremble so We must hope for the best my child
Agatha felt a sudden stoppage at the heart which took away her breath Tell me—quick I shall not be frightened—he is coming home tomorrow
My dear child muttered Duke again as he held out his hands to her and she saw that tears were dropping over his cheeks
Agatha clutched at the hands threateningly—she felt herself going wild Tell me I say If you dont—Ill———
Hush—Ill tell you—only hush—think of poor Anne And theres hope yet Only they have not come into Southamptonroads—and last night there was a fire seen far out at sea—and it might have been a ship you know
Thus disconnectedly Marmaduke broke his terrible news Agatha received them with a wild stare
Its impossible—totally impossible she cried uttering sounds that were half shrieking half laughter Absolutely ridiculously impossible Ill not believe it—not a word Its impossible— impossible
And gasping out that one word over and over again fiercely and fast she walked up and down the room like one distraught She was indeed quite mad She had not any sense of anything She never once thought of weeping or fainting or doing anything but shriek out to earth and Heaven that one denunciation—that such a thing was and must be—impossible
Marmaduke caught her—she flung him aside
Dont touch me—dont speak to me I say its impossible
Child And his look became more grave and commanding than any one would have believed of the Dugdale Dare not to say impossible It is sinning against God
Agatha stopped in her frenzied walk Of a sudden came the horrible thought that it might be—that the hand might have been lifted—have fallen striking the whole world from her at one blow
Oh God—oh merciful God
In that cry scarcely louder than a moan yet strong and wild enough to pierce the heavens Agatha knew how she loved her husband Not calmly not meekly but with that terrible love which is to the heart as life itself
Of the next few minutes that passed over her no one could write—no one would dare It was utter insanity yet with a perfect knowledge of its state Madness stoneblind stonedeaf—that uttered no cry and poured out no tears She walked swiftly up and down the room her hands clenched her features rigid as iron Mr Dugdale and old Andrews could only watch pitifully saying at times—which may all good Christians say likewise—God have mercy upon her
No one else came near—the servants were all asleep and Miss Valerys room was in another part of the house Possibly she slept too—poor Anne
Now said Agatha in a cold hard voice clutching Marmadukes arm I want to know all about it I dont believe it mind you—not one word—but I would like to hear Just tell me How did you get the news
From Southampton tonight It happened last night A steamer saw the burning ship and went but the fire had already reached to the waters edge There was not a soul in or near the wreck when it went down
Agatha shuddered and then said in the same hard voice It was some other ship—not the Ardente
Marmaduke shook his head drearily They found a spar with Ardente upon it But they saw no boats and some people think as there were but few passengers they all got safe off and may reach the shore
Of course they will—I was sure of that returned Agatha in the same wild determined tone Let me see it was a quiet night I stood a long time looking at the moon—Ah
The ghastly thought of her standing there looking up at the moon and the pitiless moon looking down on the sea and on him Agathas senses reeled—she burst into the most awful laughter
Marmaduke held her fast—the whimsical absent Marmaduke—now roused into his true character kind as any woman and wiser than most men
Agatha you must be quiet It is wicked ever to despair There is a chance—more than a chance that your husband has been saved He has infinite presence of mind and he is a young strong likely lad But Brian—poor Brian my dear old friend
Duke Dugdales bravery gave way—he was of such a gentle tender heart The sight of his emotion stilled Agathas frenzy and made it more like a natural grief though it was hard yet—hard as stone
Come she said taking his hand and smiling piteously—come—dont cry I cant—not for the world Let us talk What are you going to do
I am going right off to Southampton—whence they have sent steamers out in all directions to pick up the boats if they are drifting anywhere about the Channel Fancy—to be out in the open sea this wintertime with possibly no clothes or food
Hush—shuddered Agathas low voice—hush or I shall go quite mad and I would rather not just yet—afterwards I shall not mind
Poor child
Dont now and she shrank from him Never think of me—that does not signify Only something must be done No weeping—no talking—do something
I told you I should I am going—
Go then Her quick speech—the wild stamp of her foot—poor child how mad she was still
Mr Dugdale took no notice except by a compassionate look—perhaps he too felt there was no time to lose He went towards the door—she following
I am off now—I shall catch the train in two hours said he springing on his horse in the dark wet night Harrie will be with you directly—only she thought I had better come first Go in—go in—my poor child
Agatha obeyed mechanically for the moment She walked about the house in at one room and out at another meeting no person—for Andrews had gone to call up some of the servants The heavy quiet around stifled her Faster and faster she walked—clutching her hands on her throat for breath—sometimes uttering with a sort of laughing shriek the one word in which seemed her only salvation—Impossible—utterly and entirely impossible
She sat down for a moment trying to think over more clearly the chances of the case—but to keep still was beyond her power She resumed that rapid walk as if she were flying through an atmosphere of invisible fiends It felt like it
Once by a superhuman effort she drove her mind to contemplate the possible—the winds the flames the waves and him struggling among them She saw the face which she had last seen so lifelike—as a dead face with its pale pure features and fair hair And even that face never to be again seen by her through any possible chance For him to be blotted out altogether from the world and she left therein Oh God—oh God The despairing accusing shriek that she sent up to His mercy—May His mercy have received and forgiven it
She began to count up the hours that must pass before she could receive any tidings good or ill To stay quietly in the house and wait for them—you might as well have told a poor wretch to sit still and wait for the bursting of a mine No rest—no rest The very walls of the house seemed to press upon her and hem her in She saw a bonnet and shawl hanging up in the hall caught both and ran out at the front door
Out—out under the stars She walked with her face lifted right up to them her eyes flashing out an insane defiance to their merciless calm The rain fell down thick and it was very cold but she never thought of putting on the bonnet or the shawl or if she thought at all it was with a sort of longing that the rain might come and cool her through and through or the sharp wind pierce to her breast and kill her Once she had a thought of running a mile or two across the hills and leaping from some cliffs into the sea so that whichever way this suspense ended she might be safely dead beforehand—dead too in the same ocean washed by the same wave All the foolish RomeoandJulietlike traditions of people killing themselves on some beloveds tomb seemed to her now perfectly real possible and natural Nothing was unnatural or impossible—save living
How to live even for a day an hour in this horrible deathly stagnation she did not know At last walking on blindly through the night she came to the termination of the Thornhurst estate Was she to go back and lull herself into the stupor of patience—to be kissed and wept over and preached resignation to—left to sit mutely in that quiet house while he was dashed about fighting with the sea for life—or watching the clocks travelling round hour after hour not knowing but that every peaceful minute might be the terrible one in which he died
No she said to herself while the awful but delirious joy which has struck many in a similar position struck her suddenly he is not dead If he had died he would have told me—me whom he so loved He could not die anywhere or at any time but in some way or other I should certainly have known it
And as she stood in the dark road—quite alone with the hills and stars calmed down into a supernatural awe Agatha almost expected to see her husband stand before her in the old familiar likeness She would not have been afraid
But no apparition came All nature visible and invisible was silent to her misery If she went back to the house all there would be silent too
She took her resolution—though it could hardly be called a resolution being merely the blind impulse of despair She climbed over the gate—she had not wit enough to unfasten it—and ran swift and silent as some wild animal along the road to Kingcombe
The rain ceased and her dripping clothes dried of themselves so as not to encumber her movements By some happy chance her feet were well shod and now gathering her wits as she went she put on the shawl—not the bonnet her head burned so and felt so wild Just then far into the darkness she heard wheels rolling and rolling It was Mrs Dugdale driving along rapidly towards Thornhurst—but without one slash of the whip or one word of conversation with Dunce When she stopped to open a gate the glare of the chaiselamps showed the little black figure by the roadside Harrie screamed—she thought it was a ghost
Any news any news
Gracious is it you child No news—none Get up quick and come home
But Agatha fled on and on noticing nothing except once when with a start she saw the great black outline of Corfe Castle looming against the nightsky
Along the Road Page 394
When she reached Kingcombe it was still dark She could not even have found her way save for the faint sky brightness lent by the overcast moon and the distance she had traversed was all but miraculous It seemed as if she had not walked by natural feet but some unseen influence had drawn and lifted her the whole way When she stood in Kingcombe streets she hardly believed her senses—save that nothing was hard of belief just then except the one horror—incredible unutterable
Mr Dugdale was walking up and down Kingcombe railway station waiting for the early train One or two sleepy porters were eyeing him with a sort of pitying curiosity for ill news spreads fast in a country neighbourhood There was no one else about Nobody perceived a little figure creeping up the road and coming on the platform Even Marmaduke did not lift his eyes or relax his melancholy walk until something touched him on the arm He stood astonished
It is I you see You are not gone yet
How did you come—you poor child
From Thornhurst—I walked But how soon shall you start
Walked from Thornhurst—at this time of night said one of the railwaymen who knew the family—as indeed did every one in the neighbourhood Lord help us—its that poor Mrs Harper
Mr Dugdale tried to remove Agatha from the platform but she resisted
I am come to go with you to Southampton
What need of that Go back to my house poor child If anything is to be done I can do it If nothing—why—
I will go
The determination was so calm the grasp of the little hand so strong that her brotherinlaw urged no more He went in his quiet way to take her ticket the railway folk moving respectfully aside and whispering among themselves something about poor Mrs Harper that was going to Southampton to see after her husband
Coming back Duke attempted not to talk to her but stood by her side—she would stand—sometimes feeling at her damp shawl or wrapping her up in the tender careful fashion that he used to his own little ones At last the great fiery eye accompanied by the iron beasts snorting gasps appeared far in the dark Agatha drew a long breath like a sob
Mr Dugdale lifted her in the carriage almost without a word One of the railwaymen brought from somewhere—nobody ever learned where—a rug for her feet and a pillow for her head to lean on A minute more and they were whirled away
CHAPTER XXIX
Every one knows that story perhaps the most terrible of its kind for many years—and Heaven grant for many more to come—when a noble ship with her full complement of human beings fought at once with winds and waves and fire until came down upon it and upon all the homes which that one hour desolated the certain doom One shudders even at writing of such things save that they must of necessity happen and not rarely But for one such tale as that of the Amazon which convulses a whole kingdom with horror there must be many unknown chronicles of equal dread save that the little vessel sinks unnoticed into its sea grave and the destruction carried with it passes not beyond its own immediate sphere Such was the case with the Ardente
When the train neared Southampton it was already bright morning Everybody was moving about on the solid safe sunshiny earth—nobody thought of shipwrecks and disasters at sea Many a one looked lazily at the glittering Southamptonwater no one dreamed how far beyond the curving line of horizon human beings—husbands and brothers—might be floating about without food or water frozen thirsting dying or dead under the same sunny sky
Passing the spot where the wide reach of bay opens Marmaduke quickly drew down the carriageblind He would not for worlds that the poor Agatha should look at that merryglancing cruel sea She seemed to notice the movement and stirred from the corner where she had sat during all the journey motionless save for her perpetually open eyes
How light it is quite morning
Marmaduke turned felt her pulse and began softly chafing her cold hand
Dont now she said piteously Dont be kind to me—please dont Talk a little Tell me what you think it best to do first
The sharplined worn face not pallid or without consciousness—some people to their misery never can lose consciousness—mournfully did worthy Duke regard it But he did not say a word of sympathy he knew she could not bear it Her physical powers were so tightly strung that the least soft touch would make them give way altogether
Mr Dugdale stated briefly and as if it had been the most matteroffact thing in the world how he meant to go to the owners of the Ardente and get the first tidings of her there how if neither that nor any rumours he could catch in and about the docks were satisfactory he should hire a small steamer and beat up and down Channel calling in at all the ports where it was likely boats might have been picked up
They would be probably in twentyfour hours or so If we dont hear in three days—three days at this time of year—he stopped with a perceptible shudder—then Agatha and Dukes gentle voice grew gentler and solemn like a psalm then my child well go home
Agatha bowed her head Bodily exhaustion calmed her mind and soothed her into a feeling which made even the last dread alternative less fearful She felt a conviction that such going home would only be a prelude to the last going home of all when she should never part from her husband more She did not much mind now even if all were to end so Perhaps it would be best
They got out of the carriage All her limbs were cramped—she could hardly stand Mr Dugdale took her unresisting to a quiet inn he knew and there made her lie down and take food Somehow even in the last extremity Duke Dugdale could win people over to do his pleasure which was always for their own good He sat by her and talked but only for a few minutes—he had no thought of wasting even in kindness the time on which might hang life or death
I am going now and you must stay here till my return which is sure not to be for at least two hours
Two hours—Oh take me with you
Duke shook his head You would only hinder me I fear See there now
Trying to rise and cross the parlour she had nearly fallen A drowsy weakness stole over her—she let her good brother have his own way entirely Very soon she found herself alone in the parlour lying in the dusky light of closed blinds with the dull murmur creeping up from the street—lying quietly in a state of passive patience
No human brain can endure a great strain of mental anguish long A merciful numbness usually seizes it in which everything grows hazy and unreal and consequently painless Agatha felt convinced she was halfasleep and that she should wake up in her own room at Thornhurst or at Kingcombe and find out everything to be a dream Or even granting its reality she seemed to view the whole story like some unconcerned person or some being from whom this troubled world had passed away and grown less than nothing and vanity She gazed down upon herself as it were from a great height thinking how sad a story it was and how it would have grieved herself to hear it of any one else But all her thoughts were disconnected and unnatural The only tangible feeling was a sort of comfort in remembering the last day they had spent together—in thinking how he loved her and that living or dying he would know how she loved him now
In this state she lay for an indefinite time—a period that had no human measurement It seemed at once a day and a moment No counted time could ever appear so like eternity
At last there was a hand upon the door Mr Dugdale had come back Agatha started up and sat frozen For her life she could not have uttered a sound He took her hand saying gently
My dear child
Surely he could not have spoken so if—No in that case his lips would have been paralysed like her own
We must bear up yet little sister There is a chance
The flood broke forth Agatha flung herself on the sofacushions sobbing weeping and laughing at once Duke patted her on the shoulder walked round her stood eyeing her with his mild investigating look as if he were pondering some great new problem in human nature Finally he sat down beside her and cried likewise
Agatha for the first time spoke naturally Thank you brother—you are a very good brother to me Now tell me everything
Everything is but little Its like hanging on a thread—but well hold on
We will said Agatha setting her lips together and sitting down firmly to listen She was in her right senses now She had undergone the shock and risen from it another woman
I wish you would make haste and tell me You dont know how quiet I am now nor how much I can bear—only tell me
Marmaduke began speaking in fragments hurriedly put together looking steadily down on his hands using a brief business tone—just as if every syllable had not been planned by him on his way back so that the tidings might fall most gradually on the poor wifes ear
It was indeed the Ardente Four sailors were picked up yesterday in one of her boats They say its likely that others may have got off in the same way
Ah That wild sob of thanksgiving Marmaduke seemed to dread it more than despair He hastily added
But they had many things against them The fire happened at midnight When it broke out there was no one on deck but one passenger walking up and down He was a young man the sailors say tall with long light hair
The speakers voice faltered he could not bear to see the misery he inflicted At last Agatha motioned to hear more
One sailor remembers him particularly because during all the tumult he was almost the only person who seemed to have his wits about him He was seen everywhere—getting out the boats quieting the passengers—doing it all the man says as steadily as if he had been in his own house on shore instead of in a burning ship If there was any one likely to have saved his own life and the lives of others the sailors think it must be that young man
When did they see him last
Not five minutes before the ship went down He was in a boat with several more They think it was he because of his light hair He was leaning over towards a floating spar helping in a woman and child
Ah then it was he It was my husband cried Agatha clasping her hands while her countenance glowed like that of some Roman wife who dearer even than his life esteemed her husbands honour
I believe she said as that rapture faded and the natural pang returned—I firmly believe that he has been saved God would not let him perish He must have got safe off from the wreck in that boat Dont you think he has
Duke could not meet those eager eyes he fidgeted in his seat looked down on his hands and told them over finger by finger At last he said with that peculiar upward look which amidst all his eccentricities showed the beautiful serenity of a righteous man—a man who walked with God
Child we can none of us be certain either way We can only do all that lies in human power and leave the event in the hand of One who is wiser and more loving than us all
Agatha bowed her head and her heart with it almost to the dust She remembered Anne Valerys saying—how much those who loved have need to trust in God Poor Anne Never until this minute had any one thought of Anne at home at Thornhurst Shocked at the selfishness that often comes with great misery Agatha cried eagerly
Did you hear anything about Uncle Brian
No—nothing The quick husky tone as Marmaduke turned and walked away betrayed how keenly the good man suffered though he never spoke of any sufferings but Agathas She was deeply touched
Take hope she said earnestly He will be saved My husband would never forsake Uncle Brian
I know that but then Nathanael is young and has something to live for while Brian is getting on in years—older than I am—I should like to have seen him again and have shown him little Brian but—well its a strange world Heavens mercy is sure to give us a life to come perhaps many lives—if only to make clear the hard mysteries of this I should like to have talked that matter over once again with poor Brian
And Duke seemed wandering into his mild dreamy philosophies till Agatha recalled him
Now what is to be done You said if we heard nothing the boats must be drifting about somewhere in the Channel—she shivered—and then we would take a little steamer and go and look for them
I know Shes getting ready
That is right Then we will go on board at once said Agatha with decision She who a week ago would have been terrified at the bare thought of setting her foot on the deck of any vessel
Poor little delicate thing muttered Duke watching her It will be a rough sea tonight and we may be a day or two in getting round the coast You had better go home Agatha
She shook her head
Somebody once told me you had never been at sea in your life and in wintertime this Dorset coast is rough always sometimes dangerous
Dangerous and he is there She began tying on her bonnet hastily but steadily as steadily as if preparing for an everyday walk Now I am quite ready Let us start
Her brother made no more objections but took her through the busy Southampton streets Once on the quay two lounging sailors touched their hats to Mr Dugdale and Agatha heard a whisper of Belongs to some o the poor fellows as went down in the Ardente She shuddered as if there were already upon her the awful sign of widowhood
—The wide Southampton harbour with the crafts of all nations gliding to and fro upon it—the bustle of the landing and embarking place—the hurrying crowd eager after their own business none thinking of the one little vessel suddenly whelmed in that wondrous seahighway ever thronged yet ever lonely or of the wrecked crew drifting hither and thither no one knew where The tale had been a days talk a days pity—then forgotten
Agatha stood in the midst of all but saw nothing Nothing but the grey bleak merciless sea howling and dancing to her feet like a victorious enemy or sweeping off into the silence of the wintry horizon there grimly folding up its mystery as if to say Of me thou shalt know nothing But Agatha felt as if to win that secret she was ready to pierce into nethermost hell
Quick let us go she said and almost bounded into the little vessel She stood on the deck trembling with excitement watched the paddles crash into obedience the cruel waves ride over them on—on—to the mouth of the bay And now for the first time she was out on the open sea
It was one of those gloomy winter days when the whole ocean looks sullen—heavy with brooding storms No blue foamy sweeps no lovely seagreen calms nothing but leadencoloured hills of water swelling and sinking with black valleys between Agatha remembered a story she had read or heard in her childish days of some wrecked sailor lad doomed to death by his mates because the boat was too full for safety who asked leave to sit on the gunwale until after the curl of the wave and then quietly dropped off into the smooth hollow below
It was horrible She could not look at the sea—it made her mad She could only look skywards and try to find a break in the dun clouds or else over to the horizon to see something—ever so faint and small a something—breaking the line of water and sky
The men on board apparently knew Mr Dugdale and he them They worked with a respectful solemnity as if aware of their sad errand The boat was a little steamtug and she cut her way over the heavy seas like a bird Two men and Marmaduke kept watch constantly with the glass shorewards and seawards Sometimes they went so far out that the hazy coastline almost vanished and then again they ran inshore under the gigantic cliffs that lock the south of England coast
Hour after hour the poor wife remained on deck sometimes walking about restlessly sometimes lying wrapped in sails and rugs her face turned seaward in a dumb hopelessness that was more piteous than any moans The seamen if they happened to come near looked at her with a sort of awe mingled with that compassionate gentleness which sailors almost always show towards women More than once great rough hands brought her food or put to use halfadozen clever nautical contrivances for the sheltering of the poor lady
Late at night she went down below by daybreak she was on deck again She found Mr Dugdale in his old place by the compass and the telescope He had slept by snatches where he sat never giving up his watch for a single hour
E—h he said when she came and touched him I was dreaming of the Missus and the little ones at home
Do you want to go home
No—no—not while theres a hope Keep heart my child
But they looked at each others faces in the dawn and saw how pale and disconsolate both were And still the little lonely boat kept rocking over the sea—the pitiless sea that returned neither answer nor sign
Another day—another night just the same Once or twice they came on the track of some vessel a ship outward or homeward bound and told their story shouting it out in brief businesslike words—how horrible they sounded And the ships people would be seen to come to her side stand a while looking at the melancholy little steamer on its hopeless search—then pass on All the world seemed passing on slowly slowly—leaving them to that blank sea and sky and to their own despair
On the evening of the third day Marmaduke who had kept aloof for several hours came and stood by his sisterinlaw She was leaning at the stern looking shorewards at two columns of rock which the watery wear of ages had parted from the cliffs leaving them set upright in the sea a little distance from one another with the breakers boiling between
Theres Old Harry and his wife as the Dorset people call them We are near home now Agatha
Home She gasped the word in an agony and turned her face again seawards—towards the grey desolate line where the Channel melted away
The steamer cant run on much longer without putting inshore said Duke after an interval
Agatha almost shrieked You are not going to land We have been out such a little—little while And you said yourself the boats would live a long time in the open Channel
But that was three days ago
Three days—oh Heaven—three days
And the black black cloud fell over her the near vision of an existence wherein he was not—the going home a widow—or worse because she could never have the certainty of widowhood To be incessantly watching by day and starting up at night with the thought that he was come Never to know when where or in what manner he died to have no last blessing—no last kiss At the moment Agatha would have given her whole future life—nay her immortal soul—to cling for one minute round her husbands neck and tell him how she loved him—with the one perfect love which nothing now could ever alter weaken or estrange
Mr Dugdale moved aside He knew that for this burst of anguish there was no consolation After a time he came and said those few soothing words which are all that people can say without being those miserable comforters who only torture the more
Even then in that last moment of anguish there was power in the good and soothing influence so peculiar to Marmaduke Dugdale Agatha grew calmer—at least more passive Soon she saw that the little steamers head was turned to the shore A convulsion passed over her but she did not rebel
There is a faint hope even yet said Duke with a melancholy voice that almost gave the lie to his words They may have drifted safe ashore somewhere—though it would be almost a miracle Or they may have been carried far out to sea and been picked up by some outwardbound ship Its just a chance—but—
Agatha understood that but Nothing but strong conviction would have forced it from her brotherinlaws lips Her last hope died
An hour or two more they spent in gliding up the narrow channel of that saltwater swamp which at high tide appeared so glittering from the Thornhurst road When approached it was a muddy chaos desolate as an uninhabited world
They went as far upstream as the little steamer could run and then landed on the bank which abutted on some rushy meadows It was a dark winters night—there was not a soul abroad though some faint light showed they were near the town The bells of Kingcombe Church were ringing merrily through the mist
I had quite forgotten muttered Duke to himself This must be Christmaseve
What a Christmaseve
He half led half lifted Agatha through the wet fields and along the road
You will go to my house and let the Missus and me take care of you my child
No no I will go home
So without any further argument he took her to her own gate There it was the familiar gate with its shiny evergreens glittering in the lamplight beyond it the dusky line of Kingcombe Street The cottage within was all dark except for the faintest ray creeping under the halldoor Marmaduke opened it and called Dorcas She came and when she saw them rushed forward sobbing
Oh missus missus—is it my missus
It was indeed the sorrowful mistress who stood like a spectre in her desolate home But Dorcas dragged her in and opened the parlourdoor
There was an odour of warmth—bright light which so dazzled Agatha that at first she saw nothing Then she saw some one lying on the sofa And lo there—halfburied in pillows haggard and deathlike yet alive—was a face she knew—a calm sleeping face—falling round it the long light hair
CHAPTER XXX
It was Christmas morning All the good people of Kingcombe were going to church One only household did not go to church—there was hardly need when all their life henceforward would be one long grateful psalm
Agatha came down much as she had done on her first Sunday morning in the same house and made breakfast in the little parlour There was a strange hush about her—a joy too solemn for outward expression When she had finished all her preparations she stood by the window looking on the sunny little garden and listening to the Christmasbells The tears sprang faster—faster—her lips moved What she was uttering no ear heard—save One Whatever the good Kingcombe people thought He to whom the whole earth is a temple and all time a long Sabbath of praise—would forgive her that she did not go to church that day
She heard a foot on the stairs and ran thither like lightning
Nathanael appeared He was extremely feeble—every motion seemed to give him pain—and his whole appearance was that of one rescued from the very jaws of the grave But he looked so happy—so infinitely happy
Agatha halfscolded him Why did you not call me Why not let me help you to walk I can do it I know And creeping under his arm she tried to convert her little self into a marvellously strong support
Her husband only smiled allowing himself to be led to the sofa laid down and made comfortable with countless pillows Then she stood and looked at him
Are you content
Quite content he murmured So content that I want nothing in this wide world
And by his look his wife knew that this was true
Agatha darling you have been crying Come and sit here
She came—making a minutes pretence of smiles and then fell on his neck weeping
Oh I dont deserve to be so happy—so very happy
Child he answered with a grave tenderness if we went by desert who among us would deserve anything Should I who was so hard and cold towards my poor little wife when if I had said one word out of my real heart and not kept it down so proudly—Ah I was very wicked I too did not deserve that God should save me from death and bring me home to my dear wifes love Darling dont let us talk of deservings only let us try to be good and always always love one another
Oh the heavenly silence of that embrace the life of life that was in it Now for the first time the bond of full and perfect love was drawn round the husband and wife sacredly shutting them in from the world without which could never more come between them or intermeddle with their sorrows or their joys
At length Agatha freed herself gently from his clasp saying after her old habit of hiding emotion under a jest something about the impossibility that the mistress of a household could idle away her time in this way She made her husbands breakfast and insisted on watching him finish it
Drinking he said with a shudder Oh Agatha you dont know what it is to be thirsty The hunger was nothing to it
Dont talk of that dont murmured she turning pale
I will not dear But was it not strange that we should have drifted ashore at Weymouth
Very strange
Have you sent over the way this morning to see after Uncle Brian
Not yet but Harrie will take care of him He is not near so much hurt as you and I must look after my own husband first And once again wistfully gazing at him she threw her arms round his neck murmuring My own—my own
The churchbells ceased the breakfast was removed and the husband and wife sat together
Somebody said Nathanael suddenly—somebody ought to go and see Anne Valery this Christmasday
Does she know
She knew last night Marmaduke said he should ride over and tell her
What news for her to hear—dear dear Anne
And they fell into a silence
Agatha said at last When am I to see Uncle Brian
Very soon dear Yet—stay—is not that some one at the door
It certainly was People walked into one anothers houses so very unceremoniously at Kingcombe This visitor however paused in the hall and then opened the parlourdoor
He was a remarkably tall man with grey hair and features not unlike Nathanaels being regular and delicate But their expression was much harsher and indicative of a strong will and a settled bitterness which only passed over when he smiled This smile was very beautiful and seemed to steal from his worn and hardlined aspect at least ten years Agatha knew who he was immediately
Uncle Brian Nathanael sprang up despite his weakness and they grasped one anothers hands as heartily as if they had not met for years
Is this your wife
It is indeed my own dear wife
God bless her Mr Locke Harper took Agatha by the hand and looked at her keenly The peculiar expression either of bitterness or melancholy came over his face but as he watched her it gradually faded off There seemed an enchantment in the young wifes sweet looks
You two are very happy
They exchanged a glance which needed no words of confirmation but Agatha said with a shy blush and a womanly grace that made her sweeterlooking than ever
We are all the happier now Uncle Brian has come home
Thank you my dear Thank your husband too for me I would have been lying full fathom five in the Channel now if it were not for that boy
That boy sounded oddly enough save for the world of tenderness in the phrase and the look which accompanied it Any one could see at once the strong attachment subsisting between the uncle and nephew No more was betrayed however and they soon began a conversation as natural and unconcerned as if they had gone through no peril and suffered no emotion Certainly however strong their feelings the Harpers were not a sentimental family
Agatha thought as like a dutiful wife she sat still and listened that she had never seen any man—saving her husband of course—whose mien was so simple yet so truly noble as Brian Locke Harpers She watched him with a pathetic curiosity thinking what he must have been as a young man with many other thoughts besides which came from the very depths of her womans heart
Uncle Brian talked though in a rather fragmentary and brief fashion of Kingcombe and of the changes he found He never by any chance mentioned any other place than Kingcombe until Nathanael happened to ask him where Duke was this morning
He has ridden out
But I wanted to see him and thank him for being so kind to my poor little wife Where has he gone
To Thornhurst The word came out sharp low yet with a certain tone that made it unlike other words After saying it Uncle Brian sat moodily looking at the fire from under his eyebrows until Agatha with womanly wisdom broke the silence by speaking to her husband
I think some time this afternoon I ought to go and see Anne Valery
You shall go dear
Uncle Brian observed never moving his eyes from the fire Harriet said that she—Miss Valery—was not quite strong this winter Was that true
Agatha answered That it was only too true
Something in her manner seemed to startle Mr Locke Harper he threw towards her one of his flashing penetrating looks
We have indeed been very anxious about poor Anne she answered But winter is a trying season and we hope in the spring—
Yes in the spring repeated Uncle Brian hastily What a gay garden you have for Christmas He opened the glass door and immediately went out They saw him walking about backwards and forwards among chrysanthemum beds and arbutustrees passing hurriedly and with a bentdown abstracted gaze which beheld nothing
Does he know about her said Agatha to her husband You said you would tell him
I could not his mood was too bitter And there are some things in which not even I dare break upon the reserve of Uncle Brian He is as secret and as proud—as I am
Ah but—
I understand that but my child I know how much both he and I have often erred
His wife pressed his hand fondly to indicate how love had sealed its kiss of forgiveness upon all things Nathanael smiled and continued
I found Uncle Brian in such a strange mood at Havre I dared not speak of anything just then but thought the fit time would be when we came near the Dorset coast and his heart was softened at the sight of home I was walking on deck pondering how to tell him when the fire began
Ah dont And Agatha forgot everything—it was natural she should—in rejoicing once more over the beloved saved Suddenly there was heard a fluttering and a chattering with Dorcas in the hall marking an unmistakable approach—Mrs Dugdale with her young flock
Harrie was in the best of spirits and heartiest of moods though that may be an unnecessary superlative regarding a lady who had never been seen either moody or out of spirits since her cradle She embraced Agatha warmly and even went through the same ceremony with her brother Nathanael which he bore with exemplary fortitude but shook his hair after it like a boy who has been petted against his will However he kissed his little nephews goodhumouredly let Brian sit astride on his sofapillows benignly assured Freds inquiring mind that Uncle Nathanael had not been to the bottom of the sea and up again—and answered Gus with a more serious voice that it was not exactly funny to be drowned
Funny No indeed exclaimed the mother I am sure the shock was dreadful to us all I dont know when I shall get over it And that reminds me that Duke thinks it had been too much for poor Anne She is worse—keeping her bed I dont understand sick people much but if Agatha could go—Oh there you are Uncle Brian Duke sent a message to you He says he is afraid it will be some days before you can see your old friend Anne she is very ill indeed
Brian stood silent resting his hand on the glassdoor The colourless face void of any expression excepting the eyes and they—never while she lived did Agatha forget the look of those eyes She whispered passing him by
I am going to her now—I shall send word soon and left the room
There was a slight difficulty about her being driven to Thornhurst as she insisted on her husbands keeping quiet at home Harrie made a dozen plans and counterplans until they were all frustrated by Brian Harpers rising from the corner where he had sat motionless
If you will allow me I will drive you there
Thank you There was no more said about it they started
Mr Locke Harper scarcely spoke to his niece all the way until just as they were passing the gate where on that awful walk Agatha had startled Mrs Dugdale
I hear you came all these miles on foot in the middle of the night It was a very brave thing for a woman to do I did not think any woman could have love enough in her to do it
I know several who would do much more
Who are they
Harrie Dugdale probably and for certain Anne Valery
Brian said no more until they reached the gates of Thornhurst There he helped her to descend reins in hand and waited Just as Agatha was going he touched her arm
Ask how she is will you
Agatha sent the message upstairs and remained with him for a minute or two He stood motionless by the horse his hat pulled down over his brows—nothing visible but the sharp profile of his mouth Old Andrews called him that gentleman—eyed him with some curiosity then bowed and wished him a merry Christmas sir country fashion
The answer about the mistress of Thornhurst was brief she was much the same the servants did not seem to apprehend any danger
Brian shook his nieces hand I shall go back across the moors to Kingcombe Tell her if at any time she would like to see an old friend—
He stopped threw down Dunces reins and started off towards the high ground striding over heather and furze with his free backwoodsmans step
Andrews looked after him If that be any man alive it be Mr Locke Harper O Lord and I didnt know un—my dear old master Mr Harper Sir Mr Locke Harper He ran a little way in vain pursuit of the retreating figure then Agatha saw him sit down on a stone hide his face in his shaking old hands and cry for joy
While far over the hillside in very sight of the closed blinds of Annes room the returned wanderer strode away and disappeared
It was some time before Agatha could summon courage to walk upstairs All things seemed so strange She could hardly realise the fact that she had been driven from Kingcombe by Uncle Brians own self and that she was now going to tell Anne Valery that he was here
At last calmed by faith in heaven and in that next holiest faith love she opened the door of Annes bedroom
It was silent solemn and peaceful There was a prayerbook by the bedside open at one of the Christmasday psalms No one lingered in the room or about the couch with sisterly or friendly care all was serene but lonely as Annes whole life had been At the opening of the door a faint voice asked Who is there
Only I Oh Anne dearest Anne
There was a pause of weeping silence though one only wept Miss Valery soothed the girl in all sorts of tender ways
You have suffered much my poor child but it is over now Forget it You will be very happy now
And you too—you too Anne But why do you lie here so drearily with no one near you
I like it
But you will rise soon You must get well now they are come home You little think how anxious all are about you
That is kind Everybody was always very kind to me
After a few moments during which Anne lay with her eyes shut and Agatha watched with an unaccountable dread the wonderful spiritual calm of her features she suddenly said
You have seen him have you not
Uncle Brian Yes
How does he look Was he harmed by that—that awful three days at sea
No he seems quite well He drove me to Thornhurst
Then he is here And there came a slight trembling over the placid face
He had to go back to Kingcombe I believe said Agatha hesitating But he told me to say if you liked to see an old friend—He does not know how ill you have been she added with irrepressible vexation or else I should have felt very very angry even with Uncle Brian
Hush You do not understand him yet said Anne gently as she once more closed her eyes Many thoughts seemed to sweep over her but none left a trace of bitterness behind She was past all restlessness or suffering now
How are you all going to keep Christmas Agatha You ought to be very happy After such a week as this has been everything seems happiness now
Not everything—when you are not with us Anne—I mean not with us today
But I shall be with you today and every day I believe I shall never be far away from Thornhurst and Kingcombe and Kingcombe Holm
She said this more to herself than to Agatha who listened her throat choking then answered abruptly You are talking too much—you must be quiet
Anne smiled—one of her old smiles so full of cheerfulness I think I am quiet enough already but I will obey
She turned her face to the pillow and lay for a long time without moving At length she said
Agatha I want you to do something for me
What is it
I would like to see your husband and my old friend Mr Brian Harper Will you go and fetch them
I will tomorrow but—
No—dear not tomorrow I must see them today—this very Christmasday Go—you will not be away long And we will send the carriage so that the journey can do Nathanael no harm
You are always thinking of every one said Agatha as she turned to obey She felt it was a solemn mission All her bright plans about Thornhurst grew dim she could not look forward Yet warm in the strength of youth and love she cherished a faint hope still
When she reached Kingcombe Brian had not come home They sent messengers for him in all directions but in vain At last they were forced to drive back without him—hopelessly peering through the dusk to see if they could discern his tall figure across the moors When they were dashing at full speed through Thornhurstgate some one rose up from the hedge beside it and stopped the horses
Is anything the matter at the house Speak cant you fellow
The voice hoarse and commanding—the tall spare figure the grey hair—it could be none other than Brian Harper
Nathanael called to him Uncle Brian we have been looking for you everywhere Anne wants to see you Come
I will He walked away and was lost in the furzebushes but when the carriage drove up to the door they found him already standing there They all entered the house together
Annes maid met them with a delighted countenance Her mistress was so well—thank God She was up and sitting in the drawingroom
There in truth she was in her usual seat wearing her ordinary dress She had taken off the invalidcap and her soft hair was arranged as carefully as if no white lines marred its brownness She looked less old than usual—nay almost beautiful—so exquisitely peaceful was the expression of her countenance
Nathanael and his wife hung back letting Mr Harper meet her first
She rose and held out both hands to him Welcome home again—welcome home
He said nothing but grasped the hands and retained them fast There was a long long look eye to eye face to face—a look in which were gathered and summed up all the years since they were young together—and then the two old friends sat down side by side Agatha thought it strange that they should meet in such a calm commonplace way—but then she was young She did not know how quietly flows the outward surface of a tide that has flowed on deep solemn and changeless for fiveandtwenty years
In a little while they were all sitting round the fire—the merry Christmas fire with its blazing pinelog—talking just as naturally and familiarly as though no emotion had stirred them Anne Valery resting in her armchair looked on and smiled She talked little but listened to the rest and by an inexplicable sweet calmness made them all so much at ease that it seemed to Agatha as if they four had known one another for a whole lifetime and been always as happy as now
As the evening advanced the Christmas dinner was announced
I am sorry I cannot sit at the head of my own table today but—and Miss Valery gently laid her hand on Brians arm—you will take my place old friend
He made some unintelligible answer and they all left the drawingroom It was a rather silent dinner yet somehow no one looked sad No one could with Annes cheerful influence pervading the whole house
Agatha soon rose and rejoined her She was sitting just as they had left her—but whether it was through the light being dimmer or through a certain thoughtfulness in her face Agatha thought she did not look quite the same
Are you well Are you sure you are not tired And—here Agatha ventured to wrap her arms round her and gaze up in her eyes with a fulness of meaning—are you happy
Ay happy perfectly happy The look and tone were such as Agatha never forgot They expressed a bliss that of its intensity could not necessarily endure for more than the briefest time in this changing world It belonged to the world everlasting
Will you go back dear and ask Brian to come to me I would like to talk a little alone with my old friend
Agatha obeyed When she had delivered her message Mr Locke Harper rose without speaking She saw him go into the drawingroom and close the door then she came back to her husband
For more than two hours Agatha and Nathanael sat not liking to go in without being summoned At last they ventured to pass the door The silence within was so deathlike that it half frightened them
I wish she would call Agatha whispered She looked so strangely white when she spoke to me Hush is not that some one stirring I must knock
She did so but there was no answer At last trembling all over she caught hold of her husbands hand and made him enter
The room was quite still—dimlylighted—for the fire had been suffered to burn itself almost out Anne sat in her armchair with Brian kneeling beside her his arms clasping her waist and hers linked behind his neck Neither moved or seemed to notice anything and the two young people greatly moved by the scene were gliding away when a last glimmer of the fire showed them Anne Valerys face They saw it—grasped one anothers hands with an awestruck meaning—and stayed
In a minute or two Anne faintly spoke
I think there is some one near Is it Agatha
The young girl flung herself on Annes hand—It is I—and my husband May we stay We too loved you dear dear Anne
I know that One minute just one minute Brian
She loosed her clasp of him a little the other two came near she kissed them both and bade God bless them Then raising herself up and speaking with all her strength she said
You will bear witness and say to them all that if I had married none but Brian Locke Harper would ever have been my husband and therefore I have left to him Thornhurst and all I have in the world in token of my love and reverence—just as if—I had been—his wife
With the last words uttered very feebly Anne sank back into her old attitude She lay there many minutes her face beautiful in its perfect rest The other face—his face—was altogether hidden But they saw that as his arms grasped her round every muscle was quivering The convulsion grew so strong that even Anne felt it She opened her eyes and tried to speak again
Brian poor Brian Be content it is not for long—not for very long
Her fingers began to flutter feebly on his neck She fringed the grey locks round them in a childish absent way muttering to herself
How very soft it feels still He used to have such beautiful hair
Then as if she felt her mind wandering and strove to recall it that to the very last moment it might rest on him she again forcibly opened her eyes and fixed them on Brians face They never left it afterwards The whole world seemed to have faded from her except that face For a minute or two longer she lay looking at him her countenance all radiant until gradually and softly her eyes closed
Hush whispered Nathanael as he drew his weeping wife closer to his bosom and pointed out the beatitude of that dying smile Hush—she is quite happy She has gone home
THE END