ADELINE MOWBRAY
or
THE MOTHER AND DAUGHTER
MRS OPIE
CHAPTER I
In an old family mansion situated on an estate in Gloucestershire known by the name of Rosevalley resided Mrs Mowbray and Adeline her only child
Mrs Mowbrays father Mr Woodville a respectable country gentleman married in obedience to the will of his mother the sole surviving daughter of an opulent merchant in London whose large dower paid off some considerable mortgages on the Woodville estates and whose mild and unoffending character soon gained that affection from her husband after marriage which he denied her before it
Nor was it long before their happiness was increased and their union cemented by the birth of a daughter who continuing to be an only child and the probable heiress of great possessions became the idol of her parents and the object of unremitted attention to those who surrounded her Consequently one of the first lessons which Editha Woodville learnt was that of egotism and to consider it as the chief duty of all who approached her to study the gratification of her whims and caprices
But though rendered indolent in some measure by the blind folly of her parents and the homage of her dependents she had a taste above the enjoyments which they offered her
She had a decided passion for literature which she had acquired from a sister of Mr Woodville who had been brought up amongst literary characters of various pursuits and opinions and this lady had imbibed from them a love of free inquiry which she had little difficulty in imparting to her young and enthusiastic relation
But alas that inclination for study which had it been directed to proper objects would have been the charm of Miss Woodvilles life and the safeguard of her happiness by giving her a constant source of amusement within herself proved to her from the unfortunate direction which it took the abundant cause of misery and disappointment
For her history biography poetry and discoveries in natural philosophy had few attractions while she pored with still unsatisfied delight over abstruse systems of morals and metaphysics or new theories in politics and scarcely a week elapsed in which she did not receive from her aunts bookseller in London various tracts on these her favourite subjects
Happy would it have been for Miss Woodville if the merits of the works which she so much admired could have been canvassed in her presence by rational and unprejudiced persons but her parents and friends being too ignorant to discuss philosophical opinions or political controversies the young speculator was left to the decision of her own inexperienced enthusiasm To her therefore whatever was bold and uncommon seemed new and wise and every succeeding theory held her imagination captive till its power was weakened by one of equal claims to singularity
She soon however ceased to be contented with reading and was eager to become a writer also But as she was strongly imbued with the prejudices of an ancient family she could not think of disgracing that family by turning professed author she therefore confined her little effusions to a society of admiring friends secretly lamenting the loss which the literary world sustained in her being born a gentlewoman
Nor is it to be wondered at that as she was ambitious to be and to be thought a deep thinker she should have acquired habits of abstraction and absence which imparted a look of wildness to a pair of dark eyes that beamed with intelligence and gave life to features of the most perfect regularity
To reverie indeed she was from childhood inclined and her life was long a life of reverie To her the present moment had scarcely ever existence and this propensity to lose herself in a sort of ideal world was considerably increased by the nature of her studies
Fatal and unproductive studies While wrapt in philosophical abstraction she was trying to understand a metaphysical question on the mechanism of the human mind or what constituted the true nature of virtue she suffered day after day to pass in the culpable neglect of positive duties and while imagining systems for the good of society and the furtherance of general philanthropy she allowed individual suffering in her neighbourhood to pass unobserved and unrelieved While professing her unbounded love for the great family of the world she suffered her own family to pine under the consciousness of her neglect and viciously devoted those hours to the vanity of abstruse and solitary study which might have been better spent in amusing the declining age of her venerable parents whom affection had led to take up their abode with her
Let me observe before I proceed further that Mrs Mowbray scrupulously confined herself to theory even in her wisest speculations and being too timid and too indolent to illustrate by her conduct the various and opposing doctrines which it was her pride to maintain by turns her practice was ever in opposition to her opinions
Hence after haranguing with all the violence of a true Whig on the natural rights of man or the blessings of freedom she would turn to a Tory in her elbow chair and govern her household with despotic authority and after embracing at some moments the doubts of the sceptic she would often lie motionless in her bed from apprehension of ghosts a helpless prey to the most abject superstition
Such was the mother of Adeline Mowbray such was the woman who having married the heir of Rosevalley merely to oblige her parents saw herself in the prime of life a rich widow with an only child who was left by Mr Mowbray a fond husband but an illjudging parent entirely dependent on her
At the time of Mr Mowbrays death Adeline Mowbray was ten years old and Mrs Mowbray thirty and like an animal in an exhausted receiver she had during her short existence been tormented by the experimental philosophy of her mother
Now it was judged right that she should learn nothing and now that she should learn every thing Now her graceful form and wellturned limbs were to be free from any bandage and any clothing save what decency required—and now they were to be tortured by stiff stays and fettered by the stocks and the backboard
All Mrs Mowbrays ambition had settled in one point one passion and that was Education For this purpose she turned over innumerable volumes in search of rules on the subject on which she might improve anticipating with great satisfaction the moment when she should be held up as a pattern of imitation to mothers and be prevailed upon though with graceful reluctance to publish her system without a name for the benefit of society
But however good her intentions were the execution of them was continually delayed by her habits of abstraction and reverie After having over night arranged the tasks of Adeline for the next day—lost in some new speculations for the good of her child she would lie in bed all the morning exposing that child to the dangers of idleness
At one time Mrs Mowbray had studied herself into great nicety with regard to the diet of her daughter but as she herself was too much used to the indulgences of the palate to be able to set her in reality an example of temperance she dined in appearance with Adeline at one oclock on pudding without butter and potatoes without salt but while the child was taking her afternoons walk her own table was covered with viands fitted for the appetite of opulence
Unfortunately however the servants conceived that the daughter as well as the mother had a right to regale clandestinely and the little Adeline used to eat for her supper with a charge not to tell her mamma some of the good things set by from Mrs Mowbrays dinner
It happened that as Mrs Mowbray was one evening smoothing Adelines flowing curls and stroking her ruddy cheek she exclaimed triumphantly raising Adeline to the glass See the effect of temperance and low living If you were accustomed to eat meat and butter and drink any thing but water you would not look so healthy my love as you do now O the excellent effects of a vegetable diet
The artless girl whose conscience smote her during the whole of this speech hung her blushing head on her bosom—it was the confusion of guilt and Mrs Mowbray perceiving it earnestly demanded what it meant when Adeline half crying gave a full explanation
Nothing could exceed the astonishment and mortification of Mrs Mowbray but though usually tenacious of her opinions she in this case profited by the lesson of experience She no longer expected any advantage from clandestine measures—but Adeline her appetites regulated by a proper exertion of parental authority was allowed to sit at the wellfurnished table of her mother and was precluded by a judicious and open indulgence from wishing for a secret and improper one while the judicious praises which Mrs Mowbray bestowed on Adelines ingenuous confession endeared to her the practice of truth and laid the foundation of a habit of ingenuousness which formed through life one of the ornaments of her character—Would that Mrs Mowbray had always been equally judicious
Another great object of anxiety to her was the method of clothing children whether they should wear flannel or no flannel light shoes to give agility to the motions of the limbs or heavy shoes in order to strengthen the muscles by exertion—when one day as she was turning over a voluminous author on this subject the nurserymaid hastily entered the room and claimed her attention but in vain Mrs Mowbray went on reading aloud—
Some persons are of opinion that thin shoes are most beneficial to health others equally worthy of respect think thick ones of most use and the reasons for these different opinions we shall class under two heads—
Dear me maam cried Bridget and in the meantime Miss Adeline will go without any shoes at all
Do not interrupt me Bridget cried Mrs Mowbray and proceeded to read on In the first place it is not clear says a learned writer whether children require any clothing at all for their feet
At this moment Adeline burst open the parlour door and crying bitterly held up her bleeding toes to her mother
Mamma mamma cried she you forget to send for a pair of new shoes for me and see how the stones in the gravel have cut me
This sight this appeal decided the question in dispute The feet of Adeline bleeding on a new Turkey carpet proved that some clothing for the feet was necessary and even Mrs Mowbray for a moment began to suspect that a little experience is better than a great deal of theory
CHAPTER II
Meanwhile in spite of all Mrs Mowbrays eccentricities and caprices Adeline as she grew up continued to entertain for her the most perfect respect and affection
Her respect was excited by the high idea which she had formed of her abilities—an idea founded on the veneration which all the family seemed to feel for her on that account—and her affection was excited even to an enthusiastic degree by the tenderness with which Mrs Mowbray had watched over her during an alarming illness
For twentyone days Adeline had been in the utmost danger nor is it probable that she would have been able to struggle against the force of the disease but for the unremitting attention of her mother It was then perhaps for the first time that Mrs Mowbray felt herself a mother—all her vanities all her systems were forgotten in the danger of Adeline—she did not even hazard an opinion on the medical treatment to be observed For once she was contented to obey instructions in silence for once she was never caught in a reverie but like the most commonplace woman of her acquaintance she lived to the present moment—and she was rewarded for her cares by the recovery of her daughter and by that daughters most devoted attachment
Not even the parents of Mrs Mowbray who because she talked on subjects which they could not understand looked up to her as a superior being could exceed Adeline in deference to her mothers abilities and when as she advanced in life she was sometimes tempted to think her deficient in maternal fondness the idea of Mrs Mowbray bending with pale and speechless anxiety over her sleepless pillow used to recur to her remembrance and in a moment the recent indifference was forgotten
Nor could she entirely acquit herself of ingratitude in observing this seeming indifference for whence did the abstraction and apparent coldness of Mrs Mowbray proceed From her minds being wholly engrossed in studies for the future benefit of Adeline Why did she leave the concerns of her family to others why did she allow her infirm but active mother to superintend all the household duties and why did she seclude herself from all society save that of her own family and Dr Norberry her physician and friend but that she might devote every hour to endeavours to perfect a system of education for her beloved and only daughter to whom the work was to be dedicated
And yet said Adeline mentally I am so ungrateful sometimes as to think she does not love me sufficiently
But while Mrs Mowbray was busying herself in plans for Adelines education she reached the age of fifteen and was in a manner educated not however by her—though Mrs Mowbray would no doubt have been surprised to have heard this assertion
Mrs Mowbray as I have before said was the spoiled child of rich parents who as geniuses were rarer in those days than they are now spite of their own ignorance rejoiced to find themselves the parents of a genius and as their daughter always disliked the usual occupations of her sex the admiring father and mother contented themselves with allowing her to please herself say to each other She must not be managed in a common way for you know my dear she is one of your geniuses—and they are never like other folks
Mrs Woodville the mother had been brought up with all the ideas of economy and housewifery which at that time of day prevailed in the city and influenced the education of the daughters of citizens
My dear said she one day to Adeline as you are no genius you know like your mother and God forbid you should for one is quite enough in a family I shall make bold to teach you every thing that young women in my young days used to learn and my daughter may thank me for it some time or other for you know my dear when I and my good man die what in the world would come of my poor Edith if so be she had no one to manage for her for Lord love you she knows no more of managing a family and suchlike than a newborn babe
And can you dear grandmother teach me to be of use to my mother said Adeline
To be sure child for as you are no genius no doubt you can learn all them sort of things that women commonly know—so we will begin directly
In a short time Adeline stimulated by the ambition of being useful for she had often heard her mother assert that utility was the foundation of all virtue became as expert in household affairs as Mrs Woodville herself even the department of making pastry was now given up to Adeline and the servants always came to her for orders saying that as their mistress was a learned lady and that and so could not be spoken with except here and there on occasion they wished their young mistress who was more easy spoken would please to order and as Mr and Mrs Woodvilles infirmities increased every day Adeline soon thought it right to assume the entire management of the family
She also took upon herself the office of almoner to Mrs Woodville and performed it with an activity unknown to her for she herself carried the broth and wine that were to comfort the infirm cottager she herself saw the medicine properly administered that was to preserve his suffering existence the comforts the poor required she purchased herself and in sickness she visited in sorrow she wept with them And though Adeline was almost unknown personally to the neighbouring gentry she was followed with blessings by the surrounding cottagers while many a humble peasant watched at the gate of the park to catch a glimpse of his young benefactress and pray to God to repay to the heiress of Rosevalley the kindness which she had shown to him and his offspring
Thus happy because usefully employed and thus beloved and respected because actively benevolent passed the early years of Adeline Mowbray and thus was she educated before her mother had completed her system of education
It was not long before Adeline took on herself a still more important office Mrs Mowbrays steward was detected in very dishonest practices but as she was too much devoted to her studies to like to look into her affairs with a view to dismiss him she could not be prevailed on to discharge him from her service Fortunately however her father on his deathbed made it his request that she would do so and Mrs Mowbray pledged herself to obey him
But what shall I do for a steward in Davisons place said she soon after her father died
Is one absolutely necessary returned Adeline modestly Surely farmer Jenkins would undertake to do all that is necessary for half the money and if he were properly overlooked—
And pray who can overlook him properly asked Mrs Mowbray
My grandmother and I replied Adeline timidly we both like business and—
Like business—but what do you know of it
Know cried Mrs Woodville why daughter Lina is very clever at it I assure you
Astonishing She knows nothing yet of accounts
Dear me how mistaken you are child She knows accounts perfectly well
Impossible replied Mrs Mowbray who should have taught her I have been inventing an easy method of learning arithmetic by which I was going to teach her in a few months
Yes child but I thinking it a pity that the poor girl should learn nothing like till she was to learn every thing taught her according to the old way and I cannot but say she took to it very kindly Did not you Lina
Yes grandmother said Adeline and as I love arithmetic very much I am quite anxious to keep all my mothers accounts and overlook the accounts of the person whom she shall employ to manage her estates in future
To this Mrs Mowbray half pleased and half mortified at length consented and Adeline and farmer Jenkins entered upon their occupations Shortly after Mrs Woodville was seized with her last illness and Adeline neglected every other duty and Mrs Mowbray her studies to watch and weep beside a parents bed
But watch and weep was all that Mrs Mowbray did with every possible wish to be useful she had so long given way to habits of abstraction and neglect of everyday occupations that she was rather a hindrance than a help in the sick room
During Adelines illness excessive fear of losing her only child had indeed awakened her to unusual exertion and as all that she had to do was to get down at stated times a certain quantity of wine and nourishment her task though wearisome was not difficult but to sooth the declining hours of an aged parent to please the capricious appetite of decay to assist with ready and skilful alacrity the shaking hand of the invalid jealous of waiting on herself and wanting to be cheated into being waited upon—these trifling yet important details did not suit the habits of Mrs Mowbray But Adeline was versed in them all and her mother conscious of her superiority in these things was at last contented to sit by inactive though not unmoved
One day when Mrs Mowbray had been prevailed upon to lie down for an hour or two in another apartment and Adeline was administering to Mrs Woodville some broth which she had made herself the old lady pressed her hand affectionately and cried Ah child in a lucky hour I made bold to interfere and teach you what your mother was too clever to learn Wise was I to think one genius enough in a family—else what should I have done now My daughter though the best child in the world could never have made such nice broth as this to comfort me so hot and boiled to a minute like bless her shed have tried that she would but ten to one but shed have smoked it overturned it and scalt her fingers into the bargain—Ah Lina Lina mayhap the time will come when you should you have a sick husband or a child to nurse may bless your poor grandmother for having taught you to be useful
Dear grandmother said Adeline tenderly the time has come I am you see useful to you and therefore I bless you already for having taught me to be so
Good girl good girl just what I would have you And forgive me Lina when I own that I have often thanked God for not making you a genius Not but what no child can behave better than mine for with all her wit and learning she was always so respectful and so kind to me and my dear good man that I am sure I could not but rejoice in such a daughter though to be sure I used to wish she was more conversible like for as to the matter of a bit of chat we never gossiped together in our lives And though to be sure the squires ladies about are none of the brightest and not to compare with my Edith yet still they would have done for me and my dear good man to gossip a bit with So I was vexed when my daughter declared she wanted all her time for her studies and would not visit any body no not even Mrs Norberry who is to be sure a very good sort of a woman though a little given to speak ill of her neighbours But then so we are all you know and as I say why if one spoke well of all alike what would be the use of one persons being better than his neighbours except for consciences sake But as I was going to say my daughter was pleased to compliment me and declare she was sure I could amuse myself without visiting women so much inferior to me and she advised my beginning a course of study as she called it
And did you asked Adeline with surprise
Yes To oblige her my good man and I began to read one Mr Locke on the Conduct of the Human Understanding which my daughter said would teach us to think
To think said Adeline
Yes—Now you must know my poor husband did not look upon it as very respectful like in Edith to say that because it seemed to say that we had lived all these years without having thought at all which was not true to be sure because we were never thoughtless like and my husband was so staid when a boy that he was called a little old man
But I am sure said Adeline half smiling that my mother did not mean to insinuate that you wanted proper thought
No I dare say not resumed the old lady and so I told my husband and so we set to study this book but dear me it was Hebrew Greek to us—and so dull
Then you did not get through it I suppose
Through it bless your heart No—not three pages So my good man says to Edith says he You gave us this book I think child to teach us to think Yes sir says she And it has taught us to think says he—it has taught us to think that it is very dull and disagreeable So my daughter laughed and said her father was witty but poor soul he did not mean it
Well then as to amuse us we liked to look at the stars sometimes she told us we had better learn their names and study astronomy and so we began that but that was just as bad as Mr Locke and we knew no more of the stars and planets than the man in the moon Yet thats not right to say neither for as he is so much nearer the stars he must know more about them than any one whomsoever So at last my daughter found out that learning was not our taste so she left us to please ourselves and play cribbage and draughts in an evening as usual
Here the old lady paused and Adeline said affectionately Dear grandmother I doubt you exert yourself too much so much talking cant be good for you
O yes child replied Mrs Woodville it is no trouble at all to me I assure you but quite natural and pleasant like besides you know I shall not be able to talk much longer so let me make the most of my time now
This speech brought tears into the eyes of Adeline and seeing her mother reenter the room she withdrew to conceal the emotion which she felt lest the cheerful loquacity of the invalid which she was fond of indulging should be checked by seeing her tears But it had already received a check from the presence of Mrs Mowbray of whose superior abilities Mrs Woodville was so much in awe that concluding her daughter could not bear to hear her nonsense the old lady smiled kindly on her when with a look of tender anxiety she hastened to her bedside and then holding her hand composed herself to sleep
In a few days more she breathed her last on the supporting arm of Adeline and lamented in her dying moments that she had nothing valuable in money to leave in order to show Adeline how sensible she was of her affectionate attentions but you are an only child she added and all your mother has will be yours
No doubt observed Mrs Mowbray eagerly and her mother died contented
CHAPTER III
At this period Adelines ambition had led her to form new plans which Mrs Woodvilles death left her at liberty to put in execution Whenever the old lady reminded her that she was no genius Adeline had felt as much degraded as if she had said that she was no conjuror and though she was too humble to suppose that she could ever equal her mother she was resolved to try to make herself more worthy of her by imitating her in those pursuits and studies on which were founded Mrs Mowbrays pretensions to superior talents
She therefore made it her business to inquire what those studies and pursuits were and finding that Mrs Mowbrays noted superiority was built on her passion for abstruse speculations Adeline eagerly devoted her leisure hours to similar studies but unfortunately these new theories and these romantic reveries which only served to amuse Mrs Mowbrays fancy her more enthusiastic daughter resolved to make conscientiously the rules of her practice And while Mrs Mowbray expended her eccentric philosophy in words as Mr Shandy did his grief Adeline carefully treasured up hers in her heart to be manifested only by its fruits
One author in particular by a train of reasoning captivating though sophistical and plausible though absurd made her a delighted convert to his opinions and prepared her young and impassioned heart for the practice of vice by filling her mind ardent in the love of virtue with new and singular opinions on the subject of moral duty On the works of this writer Adeline had often heard her mother descant in terms of the highest praise but she did not feel herself so completely his convert on her own conviction till she had experienced the fatal fascination of his style and been conveyed by his bewitching pen from the world as it is into a world as it ought to be
This writer whose name was Glenmurray amongst other institutions attacked the institution of marriage and after having elaborately pointed out its folly and its wickedness he drew so delightful a picture of the superior purity as well as happiness of an union cemented by no ties but those of love and honour that Adeline wrought to the highest pitch of enthusiasm for a new order of things entered into a solemn compact with herself to act when she was introduced into society according to the rules laid down by this writer
Unfortunately for her she had no opportunity of hearing these opinions combated by the good sense and sober experience of Dr Norberry then their sole visitant for at this time the American war was the object of attention to all Europe and as Mrs Mowbray as well as Dr Norberry were deeply interested in this subject they scarcely ever talked on any other and even Glenmurray and his theories were driven from Mrs Mowbrays remembrance by political tracts and the eager anxieties of a politician Nor had she even leisure to observe that while she was feeling all the generous anxiety of a citizen of the world for the sons and daughters of American independence her own child was imbibing through her means opinions dangerous to her wellbeing as a member of any civilized society and laying perhaps the foundation to herself and her mother of future misery and disgrace Alas the astrologer in the fable was but too like Mrs Mowbray
But even had Adeline had an opportunity of discussing her new opinions with Dr Norberry it is not at all certain that she would have had the power
Mrs Mowbray was if I may be allowed the expression a showingoff woman and loved the information which she acquired less for its own sake than for the supposed importance which it gave her amongst her acquaintance and the means of displaying her superiority over other women Before she secluded herself from society in order to study education she had been the terror of the ladies in the neighbourhood since despising small talk she would always insist on making the gentlemen of her acquaintance as much terrified sometimes as their wives engage with her in some literary or political conversation She wanted to convert every drawingroom into an arena for the mind and all her guests into intellectual gladiators She was often heard to interrupt two grave matrons in an interesting discussion of an accouchement by asking them if they had read a new theological tract or a pamphlet against the minister If they softly expatiated on the ladylike fatigue of body which they had endured she discoursed in choice terms on the energies of the mind and she never received or paid visits without convincing the company that she was the most wise most learned and most disagreeable of companions
But Adeline on the contrary studied merely from the love of study and not with a view to shine in conversation nor dared she venture to expatiate on subjects which she had often heard Mrs Woodville say were very rarely canvassed or even alluded to by women She remained silent therefore on the subject nearest her heart from choice as well as necessity in the presence of Dr Norberry till at length she imbibed the political mania herself and soon found it impossible to conceal the interest which she took in the success of the infant republic She therefore one day put into the doctors hands some bouts rimes which she had written on some recent victory of the American arms exclaiming with a smile I too am a politician and was rewarded by an exclamation of Why girl—I protest you are as clever as your mother
This unexpected declaration fixed her in the path of literary ambition and though wisely resolved to fulfil as usual every feminine duty Adeline was convinced that she like her mother had a right to be an author a politician and a philosopher while Dr Norberrys praises of her daughter convinced Mrs Mowbray that almost unconsciously she had educated her into a prodigy and confirmed her in her intention of exhibiting herself and Adeline to the admiring world during the next season at Bath for at Bath she expected to receive that admiration which she had vainly sought in London
Soon after their marriage Mr Mowbray had carried his lively bride to the metropolis where she expected to receive the same homage which had been paid to her charms at the assizeballs in her neighbourhood What then must have been her disappointment when instead of hearing as she passed That is Miss Woodville the rich heiress—or the great genius—or the great beauty—or That is the beautiful Mrs Mowbray she walked unknown and unobserved in public and in private and found herself of as little importance in the wide world of the metropolis as the most humble of her acquaintance in a country ballroom True she had beauty but then it was unsetoff by fashion nay more it was eclipsed by unfashionable and tasteless attire and her manner though stately and imposing in an assembly where she was known was wholly unlike the manners of the world and in a London party appeared arrogant and offensive Her remarks too wise as they appeared to her and Mr Mowbray excited little attention—as the few persons to whom they were known in the metropolis were wholly ignorant of her high pretensions and knew not that they were discoursing with a professed genius and the oracle of a provincial circle Some persons indeed surprised at hearing from the lips of eighteen observations on morals theology and politics listened to her with wonder and even attention but turned away observing—
Such things tis true are neither new nor rare
The only wonder is how they got there
till at length disappointed mortified and disgusted Mrs Mowbray impatiently returned to Rosevalley where in beauty in learning and in grandeur she was unrivalled and where she might deal out her dogmas sure of exciting respectful attention however she might fail of calling for a more flattering tribute from her auditors But in the narrower field of Bath she expected to shine forth with greater éclat than in London and to obtain admiration more worthy of her acceptance than any which a country circle could offer To Bath therefore she prepared to go and the young heart of Adeline beat high with pleasure at the idea of mixing with that busy world which her fancy had often clothed in the most winning attractions
But her joy and Mrs Mowbrays was a little overclouded at the moment of their departure by the sight of Dr Norberrys melancholy countenance What was to be as they fondly imagined their gain was his loss and with a full heart he came to bid them adieu
For Adeline he had conceived not only affection but esteem amounting almost to veneration for she appeared to him to unite various and opposing excellencies Though possessed of taste and talents for literature she was skilled in the minutest details of housewifery and feminine occupations and at the same time she bore her faculties so meekly that she never wounded the selflove of any one by arrogating to herself any superiority
Such Adeline appeared to her excellent old friend and his affection for her was perhaps increased by the necessity which he was under of concealing it at home The praises of Mrs Mowbray and Adeline were odious to the ears of Mrs Norberry and her daughters—but especially the praises of the latter—as the merit of Adeline was so uniform that even the eye of envy could not at that period discover any thing in her vulnerable to censure and as the sound of her name excited in his family a number of bad passions and corresponding expressions of countenance the doctor wisely resolved to keep his feelings with regard to her locked up in his own bosom
But he persisted in visiting at the Park daily and it is no wonder therefore that the loss even for a few months of the society of its inhabitants should by him be anticipated as a serious calamity
Pshaw cried he as Adeline with an exulting bound sprung after her mother into the carriage how gay and delighted you are though my heart feels sadly queer and heavy
My dear friend cried Mrs Mowbray I must miss your society wherever I go—I wish you were going too said Adeline I shall often think of you Pshaw girl dont lie replied Dr Norberry swallowing a sigh as he spoke you will soon forget an old fellow like me—Then I conclude that you will soon forget us—He how what think so at your peril—I must think so as we usually judge of others by ourselves—Go to—go miss malapert—Well but drive on coachman—this taking leave is plaguey disagreeable so shake hands and be off
They gave him their hands which he pressed very affectionately and the carriage drove on
I am an old fool cried the doctor wiping his eyes as the carriage disappeared Well Heaven grant sweet innocent that you may return to me as happy and spotless as you now are
Mrs Mowbray had been married at a very early age and had accepted in Mr Mowbray the first man who addressed her consequently that passion for personal admiration so natural to women had in her never been gratified nor even called forth But seeing herself at the age of thirtyeight possessed of almost undiminished beauty she recollected that her charms had never received that general homage for which nature intended them and she who at twenty had disregarded even to a fault the ornaments of dress was now at the age of thirtyeight eager to indulge in the extremes of decoration and to share in the delights of conquest and admiration with her youthful and attractive daughter
Attractive rather than handsome was the epithet best suited to describe Adeline Mowbray Her beauty was the beauty of expression of countenance not regularity of feature though the uncommon fairness and delicacy of her complexion the lustre of her hazel eyes her long dark eyelashes and the profusion of soft light hair which curled over the evermantling colour of her cheek gave her some pretensions to what is denominated beauty But her own sex declared she was plain—and perhaps they were right—though the other protested against the decision—and probably they were right also but women criticize in detail men admire in the aggregate Women reason and men feel when passing judgment on female beauty and when a woman declares another to be plain the chances are that she is right in her opinion as she cannot from her being a woman feel the charm of that power to please that something than beauty dearer which often throws a veil over the irregularity of features and obtains for even a plain woman from men at least the appellation of pretty
Whether Adelines face were plain or not her form could defy even the severity of female criticism She was indeed tall almost to a masculine degree but such were the roundness and proportion of her limbs such the symmetry of her whole person such the lightness and gracefulness of her movements and so truly feminine were her look and manner that superior height was forgotten in the superior loveliness of her figure
It is not to be wondered at then that Miss Mowbray was an object of attention and admiration at Bath as soon as she appeared nor that her mother had her share of flattery and followers Indeed when it was known that Mrs Mowbray was a rich widow and Adeline dependent upon her the mother became in the eyes of some people much more attractive than her daughter
It was impossible however that in such a place as Bath Mrs Mowbray and Adeline could make or rather retain a general acquaintance Their opinions on most subjects were so very different from those of the world and they were so little conscious from the retirement in which they lived that this difference existed or was likely to make them enemies that not a day elapsed in which they did not shock the prejudices of some and excite the contemptuous pity of others and they soon saw their acquaintance coolly dropped by those who as persons of family and fortune had on their first arrival sought it with eagerness
But this was not entirely owing to the freedom of their sentiments on politics or on other subjects but because they associated with a wellknown but obnoxious author—a man whose speculations had delighted the inquiring but ignorant lover of novelty terrified the timid idolater of ancient usages and excited the regret of the cool and rational observer—regret that eloquence so overwhelming powers of reasoning so acute activity of research so praiseworthy and a love of investigation so ardent should be thrown away on the discussion of moral and political subjects incapable of teaching the world to build up again with more beauty and propriety a fabric which they were perhaps calculated to pull down in short Mrs Mowbray and Adeline associated with Glenmurray that author over whose works they had long delighted to meditate and who had completely led their imagination captive before the fascination of his countenance and manners had come in aid of his eloquence
CHAPTER IV
Frederic Glenmurray was a man of family and of a small independent estate which in case he died without children was to go to the next male heir and to that heir it was certain it would go as Glenmurray on principle was an enemy to marriage and consequently not likely to have a child born in wedlock
It was unfortunate circumstance for Glenmurray that with the ardour of a young and inexperienced mind he had given his eccentric opinions to the world as soon as they were conceived and arranged—as he by so doing prejudiced the world against him in so unconquerable a degree that to him almost every door and heart was shut and he by that means excluded from every chance of having the errors of his imagination corrected by the arguments of the experienced and enlightened—and corrected no doubt they would have been for he had a mild and candid spirit and mind open to conviction
I consider myself he used to say as a sceptic not as a man really certain of the truth of any thing which he advances I doubt of all things because I look upon doubt as the road to truth and do but convince me what is the truth and at what risk whatever sacrifice I am ready to embrace it
But alas neither the blamelessness of his life nor even his active virtue assisted by the most courteous manners were deemed sufficient to counteract the mischievous tendency of his works or rather it was supposed impossible that his life could be blameless and his seeming virtues sincere—and unheard unknown this unfortunate young man was excluded from those circles which his talents would have adorned and forced to lead a life of solitude or associate with persons unlike to him in most things except in a passion for the bold in theory and the almost impossible in practice
Of this description of persons he soon became the oracle—the head of a sect as it were and those tenets which at first he embraced and put forth more for amusement than from conviction as soon as he began to suffer on their account became as clear to him as the cross to the Christian martyr and deeming persecution a test of truth he considered the opposition made to him and his doctrines not as the result of dispassionate reason striving to correct absurdity but as selfishness and fear endeavouring to put out the light which showed the weakness of the foundation on which were built their claims to exclusive respect
When Mrs Mowbray and Adeline first arrived at Bath the latter had attracted the attention and admiration of Colonel Mordaunt an Irishman of fortune and an officer in the guards and Adeline had not been insensible to the charms of the very fine person and engaging manners united to powers of conversation which displayed an excellent understanding improved by education and reading But Colonel Mordaunt was not a marrying man as it is called therefore as soon as he began to feel the influence of Adeline growing too powerful for his freedom and to observe that his attentions were far from unpleasing to her—too honourable to excite an attachment in her which he resolved to combat in himself he resolved to fly from the danger which he knew he could not face and overcome and after a formal but embarrassed adieu to Mrs Mowbray and Adeline he suddenly left Bath
This unexpected departure both surprised and grieved Adeline but as her feelings of delicacy were too strong to allow her to sigh for a man who evidently had no thoughts of sighing for her she dismissed Colonel Mordaunt from her remembrance and tried to find as much interest still in the ballrooms and the promenades as his presence had given them nor was it long before she found in them an attraction and an interest stronger than any which she had yet felt
It is naturally to be supposed that Adeline had often wished to know personally an author whose writings delighted her as much as Glenmurrays had done and that her fancy had often portrayed him but though it had clothed him in a form at once pleasing and respectable—still from an idea of his superior wisdom she had imagined him past the meridian of life and not likely to excite warmer feelings than those of esteem and veneration and such continued to be Adelines idea of Glenmurray when he arrived at Bath having been sent thither by his physicians for the benefit of his health
Glenmurray though a sense of his unpopularity had long banished him from scenes of public resort in general was so pleased with the novelties of Bath that though he walked wholly unnoticed except by the lovers of genius in whatsoever shape it showed itself he frequented daily the pumproom and the promenades and Adeline had long admired the countenance and dignified person of this young and interesting invalid without the slightest suspicion of his being the man of all others whom she most wished to see
Nor had Glenmurray been slow to admire Adeline and so strong so irresistible was the feeling of admiration which she had excited in him that as soon as she appeared all other objects vanished from his sight and as women are generally quicksighted to the effect of their charms Adeline never beheld the stranger without a suffusion of pleasurable confusion on her cheek
One morning at the pumproom when Glenmurray unconscious that Adeline was near was reading the newspaper with great attention and Adeline for the first time was looking at him unobserved she heard the name of Glenmurray pronounced and turned her head towards the person who spoke in hopes of seeing Glenmurray himself when Mrs Mowbray turning round and looking at the invalid said to a gentleman next her Did you say Sir that that tall pale dark interestinglooking young man is Mr Glenmurray the celebrated author
Yes maam replied the gentleman with a sneer that is Mr Glenmurray the celebrated author
Oh how I should like to speak to him cried Mrs Mowbray
It will be no difficult matter replied her informant the gentleman is always quite as much at leisure as you see him now for all persons have not the same taste as Mrs Mowbray
So saying he bowed and departed leaving Mrs Mowbray to whom the sight of a great author was new so lost in contemplating Glenmurray that the sarcasm with which he spoke entirely escaped her observation
Nor was Adeline less abstracted she too was contemplating Glenmurray and with mixed but delightful feelings
So then he is young and handsome too said she mentally it is a pity he looks so ill added she sighing but the sigh was caused rather by his looking so well—though Adeline was not conscious of it
By this time Glenmurray had observed who were his neighbours and the newspaper was immediately laid down
Is there any news today said Mrs Mowbray to Glenmurray resolved to make a bold effort to become acquainted with him Glenmurray with a bow and a blush of mingled surprise and pleasure replied that there was a great deal—and immediately presented to her the paper which he had relinquished setting chairs at the same time for her and Adeline
Mrs Mowbray however only slightly glanced her eye over the paper—her desire was to talk to Glenmurray and in order to accomplish this point and prejudice him in her favour she told him how much she rejoiced in seeing an author whose works were the delight and instruction of her life Speak Adeline cried she turning to her blushing daughter do we not almost daily read and daily admire Mr Glenmurrays writings—Yes certainly replied Adeline unable to articulate more awed no doubt by the presence of so superior a being while Glenmurray more proud of being an author than ever said internally Is it possible that that sweet creature should have read and admired my works
But in vain encouraged by the smiles and even by the blushes of Adeline did he endeavour to engage her in conversation Adeline was unusually silent unusually bashful But Mrs Mowbray made ample amends for her deficiency and Mr Glenmurray flattered and amused would have continued to converse with her and look at Adeline had he not observed the impertinent sneers and rude laughter to which conversing so familiarly with him exposed Mrs Mowbray As soon as he observed this he arose to depart for Glenmurray was according to Rochefoucaults maxim so exquisitely selfish that he always considered the welfare of others before his own and heroically sacrificing his own gratification to save Mrs Mowbray and Adeline from further censure he bowed with the greatest respect to Mrs Mowbray sighed as he paid the same compliment to Adeline and lamenting his being forced to quit them so soon with evident reluctance left the room
What an elegant bow he makes exclaimed Mrs Mowbray Adeline had observed nothing but the sigh and on that she did not choose to make any comment
The next day Mrs Mowbray having learned Glenmurrays address sent him a card for a party at her lodgings Nothing but Glenmurrays delight could exceed his astonishment at this invitation He had observed Mrs Mowbray and Adeline even before Adeline had observed him and as he gazed upon the fascinating Adeline he had sighed to think that she too would be taught to avoid the dangerous and disreputable acquaintance of Glenmurray To him therefore this mark of attention was a source both of consolation and joy But being well convinced that it was owing to her ignorance of the usual customs and opinions of those with whom she associated he was too generous to accept the invitation as he knew that his presence at a rout at Bath would cause general dismay and expose the mistress to disagreeable remarks at least but he endeavoured to make himself amends for his selfdenial by asking leave to wait on them when they were alone
CHAPTER V
A day or two after as Adeline was leaning on the arm of a young lady Glenmurray passed them and to his respectful bow she returned a most cordial salutation Gracious me my dear said her companion do you know who that man is
Certainly—it is Mr Glenmurray
And do you speak to him
Yes—why should I not
Dear me Why I am sure Why—dont you know what he is
Yes a celebrated writer and a man of genius
Oh that may be Miss Mowbray but they say one should not notice him because he is—
He is what said Adeline eagerly
I do not exactly know what but I believe it is a French spy or a Jesuit
Indeed replied Adeline laughing But I am used to have better evidence against a person than a they say before I neglect an acknowledged acquaintance therefore with your leave I shall turn back and talk a little to poor Mr Glenmurray
It so happened that poor Mr Glenmurray heard every word of this conversation for he had turned round and followed Adeline and her fair companion to present to the former the glove which she had dropped and as they were prevented from proceeding by the crowd on the parade which was assembled to see some unusual sight he being immediately behind them could distinguish all that passed so that Adeline turned round to go in search of him before the blush of grateful admiration for her kindness had left his cheek
Then she seeks me because I am shunned by others said Glenmurray to himself In a moment the world to him seemed to contain only two beings Adeline Mowbray and Frederic Glenmurray and that Adeline starting and blushing with joyful surprise at seeing him so near her was then coming in search of him—of him the neglected Glenmurray Scarcely could he refrain catching the lovely and ungloved hand next him to his heart but he contented himself with keeping the glove that he was before so eager to restore and in a moment it was lodged in his bosom
Nor could I cant think what I have done with my glove which every now and then escaped Adeline prevail on him to own that he had found it At last indeed it became unnecessary for Adeline as she glanced her eye towards Glenmurray discovered it in the hidingplace but as delicacy forbade her to declare the discovery which she had made he was suffered to retain his prize though a deep and sudden blush which overspread his cheek and a sudden pause which she made in her conversation convinced Glenmurray that she had detected his secret Perhaps he was not sorry—nor Adeline but certain it is that Adeline was for the remainder of the morning more lost in reverie than ever her mother had been and that from that day every one but Adeline and Glenmurray saw that they were mutually enamoured
Glenmurray was the first of the two lovers to perceive that they were so and he made the discovery with a mixture of pain and pleasure For what could be the result of such an attachment He was firmly resolved never to marry and it was very unlikely that Adeline though she had often expressed to him her approbation of his writings and opinions should be willing to sacrifice everything to love and become his mistress But a circumstance took place which completely removed his doubts on this subject
Several weeks had elapsed since the first arrival of the Mowbrays at Bath and in that time almost all their acquaintances had left them one by one but neither Mrs Mowbray nor Adeline had paid much attention to this circumstance Mrs Mowbrays habits of abstraction as usual made her regardless of common occurrences and to these were added the more delightful reverie occasioned by the attentions of a very handsome and insinuating man and the influence of a growing passion Mrs Mowbray as we have before observed married from duty not inclination and to the passion of love she had remained a total stranger till she became acquainted at Bath with Sir Patrick OCarrol Yes Mrs Mowbray was in love for the first time when she was approaching her fortieth year and a woman is never so likely to be the fool of love as when it assails her late in life especially if a lover be as great a novelty to her as the passion itself Though not alas restored to a second youth the tender victim certainly enjoys a second childhood and exhibits but too openly all the little tricks and minaudieres of a lovesick girl without the youthful appearance that in a degree excuses them This was the case with Mrs Mowbray and while regardless of her daughters interest and happiness she was lost in the pleasing hopes of marrying the agreeable baronet no wonder the cold neglect of her Bath associates was not seen by her
Adeline engrossed also by the pleasing reveries of a first love was as unconscious of it as herself Indeed she thought of nothing but love and Glenmurray else she could not have failed to see that while Sir Patricks attentions and flatteries were addressed to her mother his ardent looks and passionate sighs were all directed to herself
Sir Patrick OCarrol was a young Irishman of an old family but an encumbered estate and it was his wish to set his estate free by marrying a rich wife and one as little disagreeable as possible With this view he came to Bath and in Mrs Mowbray he not only beheld a woman of large independent fortune but possessed of great personal beauty and young enough to be attractive Still though much pleased with the wealth and appearance of the mother he soon became enamoured of the daughters person and had he not gone so far in his addresses to Mrs Mowbray as to make it impossible she should willingly transfer him to Adeline and give her a fortune at all adequate to his wants he would have endeavoured honourably to gain her affections and entered the lists against the favoured Glenmurray
But as he wanted the mothers wealth he resolved to pursue his advantage with her and trust to some future chance for giving him possession of the daughter In his dealings with men Sir Patrick was a man of honour in his dealings with women completely the reverse he considered them as a race of subordinate beings and that if like horses they were well lodged fed and kept clean they had no right to complain
Constantly therefore did he besiege Mrs Mowbray with his conversation and Adeline with his eyes and the very libertine gaze with which he often beheld her gave a pang to Glenmurray which was but too soon painfully increased
Sir Patrick was the only man of fashion who did not object to visit at Mrs Mowbrays on account of her intimacy with Glenmurray but he had his own private reasons for going thither and continued to visit at Mrs Mowbrays though Glenmurray was generally there and sometimes he and the latter gentleman were the whole of their company
One evening they and two ladies were drinking tea at Mrs Mowbrays lodgings when Mrs Mowbray was unusually silent and Adeline unusually talkative Adeline scarcely ever spoke in her mothers presence from deference to her abilities and whatever might be Mrs Mowbrays defects in other respects her conversational talents and her uncommon command of words were indisputable But this evening as I before observed Adeline owing to her mothers tender abstractions was obliged to exert herself for the entertainment of the guests
It so happened also that something was said by one of the party which led to the subject of marriage and Adeline was resolved not to let so good an opportunity pass of proving to Glenmurray how sincerely she approved his doctrine on that subject Immediately with an unreserve which nothing but her ignorance of the world and the strange education which she had received could at all excuse she began to declaim against marriage as an institution at once absurd unjust and immoral and to declare that she would never submit to so contemptible a form or profane the sacred ties of love by so odious and unnecessary a ceremony
This extraordinary speech though worded elegantly and delivered gracefully was not received by any of her hearers except Sir Patrick with any thing like admiration The baronet indeed clapped his hands and cried Bravo a fine spirited girl upon my word in a manner so loud and so offensive to the feelings of Adeline that like the orator of old she was tempted to exclaim What foolish thing can I have said that has drawn forth this applause
But Mrs Mowbray though she could not help admiring the eloquence which she attributed to her example—was shocked at hearing Adeline declare that her practice should be consonant to her theory while Glenmurray though Adeline had only expressed his sentiments and his reason approved what she had uttered felt his delicacy and his feelings wounded by so open and decided an avowal of her opinions and intended conduct in consequence of them and he was still more hurt when he saw how much it delighted Sir Patrick and offended the rest of the company who after a silence the result of surprise and disgust suddenly arose and coldly wishing Mrs Mowbray good night left the house
By Mrs Mowbray the cause of this abrupt departure was unsuspected but Adeline who had more observation was convinced that she was the cause of it and sighing deeply at the prejudices of the world she sought to console herself by looking at Glenmurray expecting to find in his eyes an expression of delight and approbation To her great disappointment however his countenance was sad while Sir Patrick on the contrary had an expression of impudent triumph in his look which made her turn blushing from his ardent gaze and indignantly follow her mother who was then leaving the room
As she passed him Sir Patrick caught her hand rapturously to his lips an action which made Glenmurray start from his chair and exclaimed Really you are the only honest little woman I ever knew I always was sure that what you just now said was the opinion of all your sex though they were so confounded coy they would not own it
Own what Sir asked the astonished Adeline
That they thought marriage a cursed bore and preferred leading the life of honour to be sure
The life of honour What is that demanded Adeline while Glenmurray paced the room in agitation
That life my dear girl which you mean to lead—love and liberty with the man of your heart
Sir Patrick cried Glenmurray impatiently this conversation is—
Prodigiously amusing to me returned the baronet especially as I never could hold it to a modest woman before
Nor shall you now Sir fiercely interrupted Glenmurray
Shall not Sir vociferated Sir Patrick
Pray gentlemen be less violent exclaimed the terrified and astonished Adeline I cant think what could offend you Mr Glenmurray in Sir Patricks original observation the life of honour appears to me a very excellent name for the pure and honourable union which it is my wish to form and—
There I told you so triumphantly interrupted Sir Patrick and I never was better pleased in life—sweet creature at once so lovely so wise and so liberal
Sir cried Glenmurray this is a mistake your life of honour and Miss Mowbrays are as different as possible you are talking of what you are grossly ignorant of
Ignorant I ignorant Look you Mr Glenmurray do you pretend to tell me I know not what the life of honour is when I have led it so many times with so many different women
How Sir replied Adeline many times and with many different women My life of honour can be led with one only
Well my dear soul I only led it with one at a time
O Sir you are indeed ignorant of my meaning she rejoined It is the individuality of an attachment that constitutes its purity and—
Bababu my lovely girl which has purity to do in the business
Indeed Sir Patrick meekly returned Adeline I—
Miss Mowbray angrily interrupted Glenmurray I beg I conjure you to drop this conversation your innocence is no match for—
For what Sir furiously demanded Sir Patrick
Your licentiousness replied Glenmurray
Sir I wear a sword cried the baronet—And I a cane said Glenmurray calmly either to defend myself or chastise insolence
Mr Glenmurray Sir Patrick exclaimed the agitated Adeline for my sake for pitys sake desist
For the present I will madam faltered out Sir Patrick—but I know Mr Glenmurrays address and he shall hear from me
Hear from you Why you do not mean to challenge him you cant suppose Mr Glenmurray would do so absurd a thing as fight a duel Sir he has written a volume to prove the absurdity of the custom—No no you threaten his life in vain she added giving her hand to Glenmurray who in the tenderness of the action and the tone of her voice forgot the displeasure which her inadvertency had caused and pressing her hand to his lips secretly renewed his vows of unalterable attachment
Very well madam exclaimed Sir Patrick in a tone of pique then so as Mr Glenmurrays life is safe you care not what becomes of mine
Sir replied Adeline the safety of a fellowcreature is always of importance in my eyes
Then you care for me as a fellowcreature only retorted Sir Patrick not as Sir Patrick OCarrol—Mighty fine truly you dear ungrateful— seizing her hand which he relinquished as well as the rest of his speech on the entrance of Mrs Mowbray
Soon after Adeline left the room and Glenmurray bowed and retired while Sir Patrick having first repeated his vows of admiration to the mother returned home to muse on the charms of the daughter and the necessity of challenging the moral Glenmurray
Sir Patrick was a man of courage and had fought several duels but as life at this time had a great many charms for him he resolved to defer at least putting himself in the way of getting rid of it and after having slept late in the morning to make up for the loss of sleep in the night occasioned by his various cogitations he rose resolved to go to Mrs Mowbrays and if he had an opportunity indulge himself in some practical comments on the singular declaration made the evening before by her lovely daughter
Glenmurray meanwhile had passed the night in equal watchfulness and greater agitation To fight a duel would be as Adeline observed contrary to his principles and to decline one irritated as he was against Sir Patrick was repugnant to his feelings
To no purpose did he peruse and reperuse nearly the whole of his own book against duelling he had few religious restraints to make him resolve on declining a challenge and he felt moral ones of little avail but in vain did he sit at home till the morning was far advanced expecting a messenger from Sir Patrick—no messenger came—he therefore left word with his servant that if wanted he might be found at Mrs Mowbrays and went thither in hopes of enjoying an hours conversation with Adeline resolving to hint to her as delicately as he could that the opinions which she had expressed were better confined in the present dark state of the public mind to a select and discriminating circle
CHAPTER VI
Sir Patrick had reached Mrs Mowbrays some time before him and had to his great satisfaction found Adeline alone nor did it escape his penetration that her cheeks glowed and her eyes sparkled with pleasure at his approach
But he would not have rejoiced in this circumstance had he known that Adeline was pleased to see him merely because she considered his appearance as a proof of Glenmurrays safety for in spite of his having written against duelling and of her confidence in his firmness and consistency she was not quite convinced that the reasoning philosopher would triumph over the feeling man
You are welcome Sir Patrick cried Adeline as he entered with a most winning smile I am very glad to see you pray sit down
The baronet who audacious as his hopes and intentions were had not expected so kind a reception was quite thrown off his guard by it and catching her suddenly in his arms endeavoured to obtain a still kinder welcome Adeline as suddenly disengaged herself from him and with the dignity of offended modesty desired him to quit the room as after such an insolent attempt she could not think herself justified in suffering him to remain with her
But her anger was soon changed into pity when she saw Sir Patrick lay down his hat seat himself and burst into a long deliberate laugh
He is certainly mad she exclaimed and leaning against the chimneypiece she began to contemplate him with a degree of fearful interest
Upon my soul now cried the baronet when his laugh was over you do not suppose my dear creature that you and I do not understand one another Telling a young fellow to leave the house on such occasions means in the pretty no meaning of your sex Stay and offend again to be sure
He is certainly mad said Adeline more confirmed than before in her idea of his insanity and immediately endeavoured to reach the door but in so doing she approached Sir Patrick who rather roughly seizing her trembling hand desired her to sit down and hear what he had to say to her Adeline thinking it not right to irritate him instantly obeyed
Now then to open my mind to you said the baronet drawing his chair close to hers From the very first moment I saw you I felt that we were made for one another though being bothered by my debts I made up to the old duchess and she nibbled the bait directly—deeming my clean inches six feet one without shoes well worth her dirty acres
How dreadfully incoherent he is thought Adeline not suspecting for a moment that by the old duchess he meant her still blooming mother
But my lovely dear continued Sir Patrick most ardently pressing her hand so much have your sweet person and your frank and liberal way of thinking charmed me that I here freely offer myself to you and we will begin the life of honour together as soon as you please
Still Adeline who was unconscious how much her avowed opinions had exposed her to insult continued to believe Sir Patrick insane a belief which the wildness of his eyes confirmed I really know not—you surprise me Sir Patrick—I—
Surprise you my dear soul How could you expect anything else from a man of my spirit after your honest declaration last night—All I feared was that Glenmurray should get the start of me
Adeline though alarmed bewildered and confounded had still recollection enough to know that whether sane or insane the words and looks of Sir Patrick were full of increasing insult I believe I think I had better retire faltered out Adeline
Retire—No indeed exclaimed the baronet rudely seizing her
This outrage restored Adeline to her usual spirit and selfpossession and bestowing on him the epithet of meansould ruffian she had almost freed herself from his grasp when a quick step was heard on the stairs and the door was thrown open by Glenmurray In a moment Adeline bursting into tears threw herself into his arms as if in search of protection
Glenmurray required no explanation of the scene before him the appearance of the actors in it was explanation sufficient and while with one arm he fondly held Adeline to his bosom he raised the other in a threatening attitude against Sir Patrick exclaiming as he did it Base unmanly villain
Villain echoed Sir Patrick—but it is very well—very well for the present—Good morning to you sir So saying he hastily withdrew
As soon as he was gone Glenmurray for the first time declared to Adeline the ardent passion with which she had inspired him and she with equal frankness confessed that her heart was irrevocably his
From this interesting têteàtête Adeline was summoned to attend a person on business to her mother and during her absence Glenmurray received a challenge from the angry baronet appointing him to meet him that afternoon at five oclock about two miles from Bath To this note for fear of alarming the suspicions of Adeline Glenmurray returned only a verbal message saying he would answer it in two hours but as soon as she returned he pleaded indispensable business and before she could mention any fears respecting the consequences of what had passed between him and Sir Patrick he had left the room having to prevent any alarm requested leave to wait on her early the next day
As soon as Glenmurray reached his lodgings he again revolved in his mind the propriety of accepting the challenge How can I expect to influence others by my theories to act right if my practice sets them a bad example But then again he exclaimed How can I expect to have any thing I say attended to when by refusing to fight I put it in the power of my enemies to assert I am a poltroon and worthy only of neglect and contempt No no I must fight—even Adeline herself especially as it is on her account will despise me if I do not—and then without giving himself any more time to deliberate he sent an answer to Sir Patrick promising to meet him at the time appointed
But after he had sent it he found himself a prey to so much selfreproach and after he had forfeited his claims to consistency of conduct he felt himself so strongly aware of the value of it that had not the time of the meeting been near at hand he would certainly have deliberated upon some means of retracting his consent to it
Being resolved to do as little mischief as he could he determined on having no second in the business and accordingly repaired to the field accompanied only by a trusty servant who had orders to wait his masters pleasure at a distance
Contrary to Glenmurrays expectations Sir Patrick also came unattended by a second while his servant who was with him was like the other desired to remain in the back ground
I wish Mr Glenmurray to do every thing honourable said the baronet after they had exchanged salutations therefore Sir as I concluded you would find it difficult to get a second I am come without one and I conclude that I concluded right—Aye men of your principle can have but few friends
And men of your practice ought to have none Sir Patrick retorted Glenmurray but as I dont think it worth while to explain to you my reasons for not having a second as I fear that you are incapable of understanding them I must desire you to take your ground
With all my heart replied his antagonist and then taking aim they agreed to fire at the same moment
They did so and the servants hearing the report of the pistols ran to the scene of action and saw Sir Patrick bleeding in the swordarm and Glenmurray also wounded leaning against a tree
This is cursed unlucky said Sir Patrick coolly you have disabled my right arm I cant go on with this business at present but when I am well again command me Your wound I believe is as slight as mine but as I can walk and you cannot and as I have a chaise and you not you shall use it to convey you and your servant home and I and mine will go on foot
To this obliging offer Glenmurray was incapable of giving denial for he became insensible from loss of blood and with the assistance of his antagonist was carried to the chaise and supported by his terrified servant conveyed back to Bath
It is not to be supposed that an event of this nature should be long unknown It was soon told all over the city that Sir Patrick OCarrol and Mr Glenmurray had fought a duel and that the latter was dangerously wounded the quarrel having originated in Mr Glenmurrays scoffing at religion king and constitution before the pious and loyal baronet
This story soon reached the ears of Mrs Mowbray who in an agony of tender sorrow and in defiance of all decorum went in person to call on her admired Sir Patrick and Adeline who heard of the affair soon after as regardless of appearances as her mother and more alarmed went in person to inquire concerning her wounded Glenmurray
By the time that she had arrived at his lodgings not only his own surgeon but Sir Patricks had seen him as his antagonist thought it necessary to ascertain the true state of his wound that he might know whether he ought to stay or fly his country
The account of both the surgeons was however so favourable and Glenmurray in all respects so well that Sir Patricks alarms were soon quite at an end and the wounded man was lying on a sofa lost in no very pleasant reflections when Adeline knocked at his door Glenmurray at that very moment was saying to himself Well—so much for principle and consistency Now my next step must be to marry and then I shall have made myself a complete fool and the worst of all fools—a man presuming to instruct others by his precepts when he finds them incapable of influencing even his own actions
At this moment his servant came up with Miss Mowbrays compliments and if he was well enough to see her she would come up and speak to him
In an instant all his selfreproaches were forgotten and when Adeline hung weeping and silent on his shoulder he could not but rejoice in an affair which had procured him a moment of such heartfelt delight At first Adeline expressed nothing but terror at the consequences of his wound and pity for his sufferings but when she found that he was in no danger and in very little pain the tender mistress yielded to the severe monitress and she began to upbraid Glenmurray for having acted not only in defiance of her wishes and principles but of his own of principles laid down by him to the world in the strongest point of view and in a manner convincing to every mind
Dearest Adeline consider the provocation cried Glenmurray—a gross insult offered to the woman I love
But who ever fought a duel without provocation Glenmurray If provocation be a justification your book was unnecessary and did not you offer an insult to the understanding of the woman you love in supposing that she could be obliged to you for playing the fool on her account
But I should have been called a coward had I declined the challenge and though I can bear the worlds hatred I could not its contempt—I could not endure the loss of what the world calls honour
Is it possible rejoined Adeline that I hear the philosophical Glenmurray talking thus in the silly jargon of a man of the world
Alas I am a man not a philosopher Adeline
At least be a sensible one—consistent I dare not now call you But have you forgotten the distinction which in your volume on the subject of duels you so strongly lay down between real and apparent honour In which of the two classes do you put the honour of which in this instance you were so tenacious What is there in common between the glory of risking the life of a fellowcreature and testimony of an approving conscience
An excellent observation that of yours indeed my sweet monitress said Glenmurray
An observation of mine It is your own replied Adeline but see I have the book in my muff and I will punish you for the badness of your practice by giving you a dose of your theory
Cruel girl cried Glenmurray I am not ordered a sleeping draught
Adeline was however resolved and opening the book she read argument after argument with unyielding perseverance till Glenmurray who like the eagle in the song saw on the dart that wounded him his own feathers cried Quarter
But tell me dear Adeline said Glenmurray a little piqued at her too just reproofs you who are so severe on my want of consistency are you yourself capable of acting up in every respect to your precepts
After your weakness replied Adeline smiling it becomes me to doubt my own strength but I assure you that I make it a scruple of conscience to show by my conduct my confidence in the truth of my opinions
Then in defiance of the worlds opinion that opinion which I you see had not resolution to brave you will be mine—not according to the ties of marriage but with no other ties or sanction than those of love and reason
I will said Adeline and may He whom I worship raising her fine eyes and white arms to heaven desert me when I desert you
Who that had seen her countenance and gesture at that moment could have imagined she was calling on heaven to witness an engagement to lead a life of infamy Rather would they have thought her a sublime enthusiast breathing forth the worship of a grateful soul
It may be supposed that Glenmurrays heart beat with exultation at this confession from Adeline and that he forgot in the promised indulgence of his passion those bounds which strict decorum required But Glenmurray did her justice he beheld her as she was—all purity of feeling and all delicacy and if possible the slight favours by which true love is long contented to be fed though granted by Adeline with more conscious emotion were received by him with more devoted respect besides he again felt that mixture of pain with pleasure on this assurance of her love which he had experienced before For he knew though Adeline did not the extent of the degradation into which the step which her conscience approved would necessarily precipitate her and experience alone could convince him that her sensibility to shame when she was for the first time exposed to it would not overcome her supposed fortitude and boasted contempt of the worlds opinion and change all the roses of love into the thorns of regret and remorse
And could he who doted on her—he too who admired her as much for her consummate purity as for any other of her qualities—could he bear to behold this fair creature whose open eye beamed with the consciousness of virtue casting her timid glances to the earth and shrinking with horror from the conviction of having in the worlds eye forfeited all pretensions to that virtue which alone was the end of her actions Would the approbation of her own mind be sufficient to support her under such a trial though she had with such sweet earnestness talked to him of its efficacy These reflections had for some time past been continually occurring to him and now they came across his mind blighting the triumphs of successful passion—nay but from the dread of incurring yet more ridicule on account of the opposition of his practice to his theory and perhaps the indignant contempt of Adeline he could have thrown himself at her feet conjuring her to submit to the degradation of being a wife
But unknown to Glenmurray perhaps another reason prompted him to desire this concession from Adeline We are never more likely to be in reality the slaves of selfishness than when we fancy ourselves acting with most heroic disinterestedness—Egotism loves a becoming dress and is always on the watch to hide her ugliness by the robe of benevolence Glenmurray thought that he was willing to marry Adeline merely for her sake but I suspect it was chiefly for his The true and delicate lover is always a monopolizer always desirous of calling the woman of his affections his own it is not only because he considers marriage as a holy institution that the lover leads his mistress to the altar but because it gives him a right to appropriate the fair treasure to himself—because it sanctions and perpetuates the dearest of all monopolies and erects a sacred barrier to guard his rights—around which all that is respectable in society all that is most powerful and effectual in its organization is proud and eager to rally
But while Glenmurray in spite of his happiness was sensible to an alloy of it and Adeline was tenderly imputing to the pain of his wound the occasionally mournful expression of his countenance Adeline took occasion to declare that she would live with Glenmurray only on condition that such a step met with her mothers approbation
Then are my hopes for ever at an end said Glenmurray—or—or and spite of himself his eyes sparkled as he spoke—or we must submit to the absurd ceremony of marriage
Marriage replied the astonished Adeline can you think so meanly of my mother as to suppose her practice so totally opposite to her principles that she would require her daughter to submit to a ceremony which she herself regards with contempt—Impossible I am sure when I solicit her consent to my being yours she will be pleased to find that her sentiments and observations have not been thrown away on me
Glenmurray thought otherwise however he bowed and was silent and Adeline declared that to put an end to all doubt on the subject she would instantly go in search of Mrs Mowbray and propose the question to her and Glenmurray feeling himself more weak and indisposed than he chose to own to her allowed her though reluctantly to depart
CHAPTER VII
Mrs Mowbray was but just returned from her charitable visit when Adeline entered the room And pray Miss Mowbray where have you been she exclaimed seeing Adeline with her hat and cloak on
I have been visiting poor Mr Glenmurray she replied
Indeed cried Mrs Mowbray and without my leave and pray who went with you
Nobody maam
Nobody—What visit a man alone at his lodgings after the education which you have received
Indeed madam replied Adeline meekly my education never taught me that such conduct was improper nor as you did the same this afternoon could I have dared to think it so
You are mistaken Miss Mowbray replied her mother I did not do the same for the terms which I am upon with Sir Patrick made my visiting him no impropriety at all
If you think I have acted wrong replied Adeline timidly no doubt I have done so though you were quite right in visiting Sir Patrick as the respectability of your age and character and Sir Patricks youth warranted the propriety of the visit—but surely the terms which I am upon with Mr Glenmurray—
The terms which you are upon with Mr Glenmurray and my age and character what can you mean angrily exclaimed Mrs Mowbray
I hope my dear mother said Adeline tenderly that you had long ere this guessed the attachment which subsists between Mr Glenmurray and me—an attachment cherished by your high opinion of him and his writings but which respect has till now made me hesitate to mention to you
Would to heaven replied Mrs Mowbray that respect had made you for ever silent on the subject Do you suppose that I would marry my daughter to a man of small fortune—but more especially to one who as Sir Patrick informs me is shunned for his principles and profligacy by all the world
To what Sir Patrick says of Mr Glenmurray I pay no attention answered Adeline nor are you my dear mother capable I am sure of being influenced by the prejudices of the world—But you are quite mistaken in supposing me so lost to consistency and so regardless of your liberal opinions and the books which we have studied as to think of marrying Mr Glenmurray
Grant me patience cried Mrs Mowbray why to be sure you do not think of living with him without being married
Certainly madam that you may have the pleasure of beholding one union founded on rational grounds and cemented by rational ties
How cried Mrs Mowbray turning pale I—I have pleasure in seeing my daughter a kept mistress—You are mad quite mad—I approve such unhallowed connexions
My dearest mother replied Adeline your agitation terrifies me—but indeed what I say is strictly true and see here in Mr Glenmurrays book the very passage which I so often have heard you admire As she said this Adeline pointed to the passage but in an instant Mrs Mowbray seized the book and threw it on the fire
Before Adeline had recovered her consternation Mrs Mowbray fell into a violent hysteric and long was it before she was restored to composure When she recovered she was so exhausted that Adeline dared not renew the conversation but leaving her to rest she made up a bed on the floor in her mothers room and passed a night of wretchedness and watchfulness—the first of the kind which she had ever known—Would it had been the last
In the morning Mrs Mowbray awoke refreshed and calm and affected at seeing the pale cheek and sunk eye of Adeline indicative of a sleepless and unhappy night she held out her hand to her with a look of kindness Adeline pressed it to her lips as she knelt by the bedside and moistened it with tears of regret for the past and alarm for the future
Adeline my dear child said Mrs Mowbray in a faint voice I hope you will no longer think of putting a design in execution so fraught with mischief to you and horror to me Little did I think that you were so romantic as to see no difference between amusing ones imagination with new theories and new systems and acting upon them in defiance of common custom and the received usages of society I admire the convenient trousers and graceful dress of the Turkish women but I would not wear them myself lest it should expose me to derision
Is there no difference thought Adeline between the importance of a dress and an opinion—Is the one to be taken up and laid down again with the same indifference as the other But she continued silent and Mrs Mowbray went on
The poetical philosophy which I have so much delighted to study has served me to ornament my conversation and make persons less enlightened than myself wonder at the superior boldness of my fancy and the acuteness of my reasoning powers—but I should as soon have thought of making this little gold chain round my neck fasten the halldoor as act upon the precepts laid down in those delightful books No though I think all they say is true I believe the purity they inculcate too much for this world
Adeline listened in silent astonishment and consternation Conscience and the conviction of what is right she then for the first time learned were not to be the rule of action and though filial tenderness made her resolve never to be the mistress of Glenmurray she also resolved never to be his wife or that of any other man while in spite of herself the great respect with which she had hitherto regarded her mothers conduct and opinions began to diminish
Would to heaven my dear mother said Adeline when Mrs Mowbray had done speaking that you had said all this to me ere my mind had been indelibly impressed with the truth of these forbidden doctrines for now my conscience tells me that I ought to act up to them
How exclaimed Mrs Mowbray starting up in her bed and in a voice shrill with emotion are you then resolved to disobey me and dishonour yourself
Oh never never replied Adeline alarmed at her mothers violence and fearful of a relapse Be but the kind affectionate parent that you have ever been to me and though I will never marry out of regard to my own principles I will also never contract any other union out of respect to your wishes—but will lead with you a quiet if not a happy life for never never can I forget Glenmurray
There speaks the excellent child I always thought you to be replied Mrs Mowbray and I shall leave it to time and good counsels to convince you that the opinions of a girl of eighteen as they are not founded on long experience may possibly be erroneous
Mrs Mowbray never made a truer observation but Adeline was not in a frame of mind to assent to it
Besides continued Mrs Mowbray had I ever been disposed to accept of Mr Glenmurray as a soninlaw it is very unlikely that I should be so now as the duel took place not only I find from the treasonable opinions which he put forth but from some disrespectful language which he held concerning me
Who could dare to invent so infamous a calumny exclaimed Adeline
My authority is unquestionable Miss Mowbray I speak from Sir Patrick himself
Then he adds falsehood to his other villanies returned Adeline almost inarticulate with rage—but what could be expected from a man who could dare to insult a young woman under the roof of her mother with his licentious addresses
What mean you cried Mrs Mowbray turning pale
I mean that Sir Patrick yesterday morning insulted me by the grossest familiarities and—
My dear child replied Mrs Mowbray laughing that is only the usual freedom of his manner a manner which your ignorance of the world led you to mistake He did not mean to insult you believe me I am sure that spite of his ardent passion for me he never even when alone with me hazarded any improper liberty
The ardent passion which he feels for you madam exclaimed Adeline turning pale in her turn
Yes Miss Mowbray What I suppose you think me too old to inspire one—But I assure you there are people who think the mother handsomer than the daughter
No doubt dear mother every one ought to think so—and would to heaven Sir Patrick were one of those But he unfortunately—
Is of that opinion interrupted Mrs Mowbray angrily and to convince you—so tenderly does he love me and so fondly do I return his passion that in a few days I shall become his wife
Adeline on hearing this terrible information fell insensible on the ground When she recovered she saw Mrs Mowbray anxiously watching by her but not with that look of alarm and tenderness with which she had attended her during her long illness that look which was always present to her graceful and affectionate remembrance No Mrs Mowbrays eye was cast down with a halfmournful halfreproachful and halffearful expression when it met that of Adeline
The emotion of anguish which her fainting had evinced was a reproach to the proud heart of Mrs Mowbray and Adeline felt that it was so but when she recollected that her mother was going to marry a man who had so lately declared a criminal passion for herself she was very near relapsing into insensibility She however struggled with her feelings in order to gain resolution to disclose to Mrs Mowbray all that had passed between her and Sir Patrick But as soon as she offered to renew the conversation Mrs Mowbray sternly commanded her to be silent and insisting on her going to bed she left her to her own reflections till wearied and exhausted she fell into a sound sleep nor as it was late in the evening when she awoke did she rise again till the next morning
Mrs Mowbray entered her room as she was dressing and inquired how she did with some kindness
I shall be better dear mother if you will but hear what I have to say concerning Sir Patrick replied Adeline bursting into tears
You can say nothing that will shake my opinion of him Miss Mowbray replied her mother coldly so I advise you to reconcile yourself to a circumstance which it is not in your power to prevent So saying she left the room and Adeline convinced that all she could say would be vain endeavoured to console herself by thinking that as soon as Sir Patrick became the husband of her mother his wicked designs on her would undoubtedly cease and that therefore in one respect that illassorted union would be beneficial to her
Sir Patrick meanwhile was no less sanguine in his expectations from his marriage Unlike the innocent Adeline he did not consider his union with the mother as a necessary check to his attempts on the daughter but emboldened by what to him appeared the libertine sentiments of Adeline and relying on the opportunities of being with her which he must infallibly enjoy under the same roof in the country he looked on her as his certain prey Though he believed Glenmurray to be at that moment preferred to himself he thought it impossible that the superior beauty of his person should not in the end have its due weight as a passion founded in esteem and the admiration of intellectual beauty could not in his opinion subsist besides Adeline appeared in his eyes not a deceived enthusiast but a susceptible and forward girl endeavouring to hide her frailty under fine sentiments and highsounding theories Nor was Sir Patricks inference an unnatural one Every man of the world would have thought the same and on very plausible grounds
CHAPTER VIII
As Sir Patrick was not punctual as lovers to the moment sworn Mrs Mowbray resolved to sit down and write immediately to Glenmurray flattering herself at the same time that the letter which was designed to confound Glenmurray would delight the tender baronet—for Mrs Mowbray piqued herself on her talents for letterwriting and was not a little pleased with an opportunity of displaying them to a celebrated author But never before did she find writing a letter so difficult a task Her eager wish of excelling deprived her of the means and she who in a letter to a friend or relation would have written in a style at once clear and elegant after two hours effort produced the following specimen of the obscure the pedantic and affected—
Sir
The light which cheers and attracts if we follow its guidance often leads us into bogs and quagmires—Verbum sapienti Your writings are the lights and the practice to which you advise my deluded daughter is the bog and quagmire I agree with you in all you have said against marriage—I agree with the savage nations in the total uselessness of clothing still I condescend to wear clothes though neither becoming nor useful because I respect public opinion and I submit to the institution of marriage for reasons equally cogent Such being my sentiments Sir I must desire you never to see my daughter more Nor could you expect to be received with open arms by me whom the shafts of your ridicule have pierced though warded off by the shield of love and gallantry—but for this I thank you Now shall I possess owing to your baseness at once a declared lover and a tried avenger and the chains of Hymen will be rendered more charming by gratitudes having blown the flame while love forged the fetters
But with your writings I continue to amuse my imagination—Lovely is the flower of the nightshade though its berry be poison Still shall I admire and wonder at you as an author though I avoid and detest you as a man
Editha Mowbray
This letter was just finished when Sir Patrick arrived and to him it was immediately shown
Heh what have we here cried he laughing violently as he perused it Here you talk of being pierced by shafts which were warded off Now had I said that it would have been called a bull As to the concluding paragraph—
O that I flatter myself said Mrs Mowbray will tear him with remorse
He must first understand it cried Sir Patrick I can but just comprehend it and am sure it will be all botheration to him
I am sorry to find such is your opinion replied Mrs Mowbray for I think that sentence the best written of any
I did not say it was not fine writing replied the baronet I only said it was not to be understood—But with your leave you shall send the letter and well drop the subject
So said so done to the great satisfaction of Sir Patrick who felt that it was for his interest to suffer the part of Mrs Mowbrays letter which alluded to Glenmurrays supposed calumnies against her to remain obscurely worded as he well knew that what he had asserted on this subject was wholly void of foundation
Glenmurray did not receive it with equal satisfaction He was indignant at the charge of having advised Adeline to become his mistress rather than his wife and as so much of the concluding passage as he could understand seemed to imply that he had calumniated her mother to remain silent a moment would have been to confess himself guilty he therefore answered Mrs Mowbrays letter immediately The answer was as follows—
Madam
To clear myself from the charge of having advised Miss Mowbray to a step contrary to the common customs however erroneous of society at this period I appeal to the testimony of Miss Mowbray herself and I here repeat to you the assurance which I made to her that I am willing to marry her when and where she chooses I love my system and my opinions but the respectability of the woman of my affections more Allow me therefore to make you a little acquainted with my situation in life
To you it is well known madam that wealth honours and titles have no value in my eyes and that I reverence talents and virtues though they wear the garb of poverty and are born in the most obscure stations But you or rather those who are so fortunate as to influence your determinations may consider my sentiments on this subject as romantic and absurd It is necessary therefore that I should tell you as an excuse in their eyes for presuming to address your daughter that by the accident of birth I am descended from an ancient family and nearly allied to a noble one and that my paternal inheritance though not large enough for splendour and luxury is sufficient for all the purposes of comfort and genteel affluence I would say more on this subject but I am impatient to remove from your mind the prejudice which you seem to have imbibed against me I do not perfectly understand the last paragraph in your letter If you will be so kind as to explain it to me you may depend on my being perfectly ingenuous indeed I have no difficulty in declaring that I have neither encouraged a feeling nor uttered a word capable of giving the lie to the declaration which I am now going to make—That I am
With respect and esteem
Your obedient servant
F Glenmurray
This letter had an effect on Mrs Mowbrays feelings so much in favour of Glenmurray that she was almost determined to let him marry Adeline She felt that she owed her some amends for contracting a marriage so suddenly and without either her knowledge or approbation and she thought that by marrying her to the man of her heart she should make her peace both with Adeline and herself But unfortunately this design as soon as it began to be formed was communicated to Sir Patrick
So then exclaimed he you have forgotten and forgiven the impertinent things which the puppy said things which obliged me to wear this little useless appendage in a sling thus pointing to his wounded arm
O no my dear Sir Patrick But though what Mr Glenmurray said might alarm the scrupulous tenderness of a lover perhaps it was a remark which might only suit the sincerity of a friend Perhaps if Mr Glenmurray had made it to me I should have heard it with thanks and with candour have approved it
My sweet soul replied Sir Patrick you may be as candid and amiable as ever you please but by St Patrick never shall Sir Patrick OCarrol be fatherinlaw to the notorious and infamous Glenmurray—that subverter of all religion and order and that scourge of civilized society
So saying he stalked about the room and Mrs Mowbray as she gazed on his handsome person thought it would be absurd for her to sacrifice her own happiness to her daughters and give up Sir Patrick as her husband in order to make Glenmurray her son She therefore wrote another letter to Glenmurray forbidding him any further intercourse with Adeline on any pretence whatever and delayed not a moment to send him her final decision
That is acting like the sensible woman I took you for said Sir Patrick the fellow has now gotten his quietus I trust and the dear little Adeline is reserved for happier fate Sweet soul you do not know how fond she will be of me I protest that I shall be so kind to her it will be difficult for people to decide which I love best the daughter or the mother
But I hope I shall always know Sir Patrick said Mrs Mowbray gravely
You—O yes to be sure But I mean that my fatherly attentions shall be of the warmest kind But now do me the favour of telling me what hour tomorrow I may appoint the clergyman to bring the license
The conversation that followed it were needless and tedious to describe Suffice that eight oclock the next morning was fixed for the marriage and Mrs Mowbray either from shame or compassion resolved that Adeline should not accompany her to church nor even know of the ceremony till it was over
Nor was this a difficult matter Adeline remained in her own apartment all the preceding day endeavouring but in vain to reconcile herself to what she justly termed the degradation of her mother She felt alas the most painful of all feelings next to that of selfabasement the consciousness of the abasement of one to whom she had all her life looked up with love and veneration To write to Glenmurray while oppressed by such contending emotions she knew to be impossible she therefore contented herself with sending a verbal message importing that he should hear from her the next day and poor Glenmurray passed the rest of that day and the night in a state little better than her own
The next morning Adeline who had not closed her eyes till daylight woke late and from a sound but unrefreshing sleep The first object she saw was her maid smartly dressed sitting by her bedside and she also saw that she had been crying
Is my mother ill Evans she exclaimed
O no Miss Adeline quite well replied the girl sighing
But why are you so much dressed demanded Adeline
I have been out answered the maid
Not on unpleasant business
Thats as it may be she cried turning away and Adeline from delicacy forebore to press her further
Tis very late—is it not asked Adeline and time for me to rise
Yes miss—I believe you had better get up
Adeline immediately rose—Give me the dark gown I wore yesterday said she
I think miss you had better put on your new white one returned the maid
My new white one exclaimed Adeline astonished at an interference so new
Yes miss—I think it will be taken kinder and look better
At these words Adelines suspicions were awakened I see Evans she cried you have something extraordinary to tell me—I partly guess I—my mother— Here unable to proceed she lay down on the bed which she had just quitted
Yes Miss Adeline—tis very true but pray compose yourself I am sure I have cried enough on your account that I have
What is true my good Evans said Adeline faintly
Why miss my lady was married this morning to Sir Patrick OCarrol—Mercy on me how pale you look I am sure I wish the villain was at the bottom of the sea so I do
Leave me said Adeline faintly struggling for utterance
No—that I will not bluntly replied Evans you are not fit to be left and they are rejoicing below with Sir Pats great staring servant But for my part I had rather stay here and cry with you than laugh with them
Adeline hid her face in the pillow incapable of further resistance and groaned aloud
Who should ever have thought my lady would have done so continued the maid—Only think miss they say and I doubt it is too true that there have been no writings or settlements I think they call them drawn up and so Sir Pat have got all and he is over head and ears in debt and my lady is to pay him out ont
At this account which Adeline feared was a just one as she had seen no preparations for a wedding going on and had observed no signs of deeds or any thing of the kind she started up in an agony of grief—Then has my mother given me up indeed she exclaimed clasping her hands together and the once darling child may soon be a friendless outcast
You want a friend Miss Adeline said the kind girl bursting into tears—Never while I live or any of my fellowservants And Adeline whose heart was bursting with a sense of forlornness and abandonment felt consoled by the artless sympathy of her attendant and giving way to a violent flood of tears she threw her arms round her neck and sobbed upon her bosom
Having thus eased her feelings she recollected that it was incumbent on her to exert her fortitude and that it was a duty which she owed her mother not to condemn her conduct openly herself nor suffer any one else to do it in her presence still at that moment she could not find in her heart to reprove the observations by which in spite of her sense of propriety she had been soothed and gratified but she hastened to dress herself as became a bridal dinner and dismissed as soon as she could the affectionate Evans from her presence She then walked up and down her chamber in order to summon courage to enter the drawingroom—But how strange how cruel it was said she that my mother did not come to inform me of this important event herself
In this respect however Mrs Mowbray had acted kindly Reluctant even more than she was willing to confess to her own heart to meet Adeline alone she had chosen to conclude that she was still asleep and had desired she might not be disturbed but soon after her return from church being assured that she was in a sound slumber she had stolen to her bedside and put a note under her pillow acquainting her with what had passed but this note Adeline in her restlessness had with her pillow pushed on the floor and there unseen it had remained But as Adeline was pacing to and fro she luckily observed it and by proving that her mother had not been so very neglectful of her it tended to fortify her mind against the succeeding interview The note began—
My dearest child to spare you in your present weak state the emotion which you would necessarily feel in attending me to the altar I have resolved to let the ceremony be performed unknown to you But my beloved Adeline I trust that your affection for me will make you rejoice in a step which you may perhaps at present disapprove when convinced that it was absolutely necessary to my happiness and can in no way be the means of diminishing yours
I remain
Your ever affectionate mother
She loves me still then cried Adeline shedding tears of tenderness and I accused her unjustly—O my dear mother if this event should indeed increase your happiness never shall I repine at not having been able to prevent it And then after taking two or three hasty turns round the room and bathing her eyes to remove in a degree the traces of her tears she ventured into the drawingroom
But the sight of her mother seated by Sir Patrick his arm encircling her waist in that very room which had so lately witnessed his profligate attempts on herself deprived her of the little resolution which she had been able to assume and pale and trembling she sunk speechless with emotion on the first chair near her
Mrs Mowbray or as we must at present call her Lady OCarrol was affected by Adelines distress and hastening to her received the almost fainting girl in her arms while even Sir Patrick feeling compassion for the unhappiness which he could more readily understand than his bride was eager to hide his confusion by calling for water drops and servants
I want neither medicine nor assistance now said Adeline gently raising her head from her mothers shoulder the shock is over and I shall I trust behave in future with proper selfcommand
Better late than never muttered Lady OCarrol on whom the word shock had not made a pleasant impression while Sir Patrick approaching Adeline exclaimed If you have not selfcommand Miss Mowbray it is the only command which you cannot boast for your power of commanding others no one can dispute who has ever had the happiness of beholding you
So saying he took her hand and as her mothers husband claimed the privilege of saluting her—a privilege which Adeline though she almost shrunk with horror from his touch had selfcommand enough not to deny him immediately after he claimed the same favour from his bride and they resumed their position on the sofa
But so embarrassing was the situation of all parties that no conversation took place and Adeline unable any longer to endure the restraint to which she was obliged rose to return to her own room in order to hide the sorrow which she was on the point of betraying when her mother in a tone of reproach exclaimed It grieves me to the soul Miss Mowbray to perceive that you appear to consider as a day of mourning the day which I consider as the happiest of my life
Oh my dearest mother replied Adeline returning and approaching her it is the dread of your deceiving yourself only that makes me sad at a time like this if this day in its consequences prove a happy one—
And wherefore should you doubt that it will Miss Mowbray
Miss Mowbray do you doubt my honour cried Sir Patrick hastily
Adeline instantly fixed her fine eyes on his face with a look which he knew how to interpret but not how to support and he cast his to the ground with painful consciousness
She saw her triumph and it gave her courage to proceed—O sir she cried it is in your power to convert all my painful doubts into joyful certainties make but my mother happy and I will love and bless you ever—Promise me sir she continued her enthusiasm and affection kindling as she spoke promise me to be kind and indulgent to her—she has never known contradiction she has been through life the darling object of all who surrounded her the pride of her parents her husband and her child neglect injury and unkindness she would inevitably sink under and I conjure you here she dropped on her knees and extended her arms in an attitude of entreaty by all your hopes of happiness hereafter to give her reason to continue to name this the happiest day of her life
Here she ceased overcome by the violence of her emotions but continued her look and attitude of entreaty full of such sweet earnestness that the baronet could hardly conceal the variety of feelings which assailed him amongst which passion for the lovely object before him predominated To make a jest of Adelines seriousness he conceived to be the best way to conceal what he felt and while Mrs Mowbray overcome with Adelines expressions of tenderness was giving way to them by a flood of tears and grasping in both hers the clasped hands of Adeline he cried in an ironical tone—You are the most extraordinary motherly young creature that I ever saw in my life my dear girl Instead of your mother giving the nuptial benediction to you the order of nature is reversed and you are giving it to her Upon my word I begin to think seeing you in that posture that you are my bride begging a blessing of mamma on our union and that I ought to be on my knees too
So saying he knelt beside Adeline at Lady OCarrols feet and in a tone of mock solemnity besought her to bless both her affectionate children and as he did this he threw his arm round the weeping girl and pressed her to his bosom This speech and this action at once banished all selfcommand from the indignant Adeline and in an instant she sprung from his embrace and forgetting how much her violence must surprise if not alarm and offend her mother she rushed out of the room and did not stop till she had reached her own chamber
When there she was alarmed lest her conduct should have occasioned both pain and resentment to Lady OCarrol and it was with trembling reluctance that she obeyed the summons to dinner but her fears were groundless The bride had fallen into one of her reveries during Sir Patricks strange speech from which she awakened only at the last words of it viz affectionate children and seeing Sir Patrick at her feet with a very tender expression on his face and hearing the words affectionate children she conceived that he was expressing his hopes of their being blest with progeny and that a selfish feeling of fear at such a prospect had hurried Adeline out of the room She was therefore disposed to regard her daughter with pity but not with resentment when she entered the dinnerroom and Adelines tranquillity in a degree returned but when she retired for the night she could not help owning to herself that that day her mothers wedding day had been the most painful of her existence—and she literally sobbed herself to sleep
The next morning a new trial awaited her she had to write a final farewell to Glenmurray Many letters did she begin many did she finish and many did she tear but recollecting that the longer she delayed sending him one the longer she kept him in a state of agitating suspense she resolved to send the last written even though it appeared to her not quite so strong a transcript of her feelings as the former ones Whether it was so or not Glenmurray received it with alternate agony and transport—with agony because it destroyed every hope of Adelines being his—and with transport because every line breathed the purest and yet most ardent attachment and convinced him that however long their separation the love of Adeline would experience no change
Many days elapsed before Glenmurray could bear any companion but the letter of Adeline and during that time she was on the road with the bride and bridegroom to a beautiful seat in Berkshire called the Pavilion hired by Sir Patrick the week before his marriage of one of his profligate friends As the road lay through a very fine country Adeline would have thought the journey a pleasant one had not the idea of Glenmurray ill and dejected continually haunted her Sir Patrick appeared to be engrossed by his bride and she was really wholly wrapt up in him and at times the beauties of the scenery around had power to engage Adelines attention but she immediately recollected how much Glenmurray would have participated in her delight and the contemplation of the prospect ended in renewed recollections of him
CHAPTER IX
At length they arrived at the place of their destination and Sir Patrick warmly embracing his bride bade her welcome to her new abode and immediately approaching Adeline he bestowed on her an embrace no less cordial—or to say the truth so ardent seemed the welcome even to the innocent Adeline that she vainly endeavoured to persuade herself that as her fatherinlaw Sir Patricks tenderness was excusable
Spite of her efforts to be cheerful she was angry and suspicious and had an indistinct feeling of remote danger which though she could not define even to herself it was new and painful to her to experience But as the elastic mind of eighteen soon rebounds from the pressure of sorrow and forgets in present enjoyment the prospect of evil Adeline gazed on the elegant apartment she was in with joyful surprise while through folding doors on either side of it she beheld a suite of rooms all furnished with a degree of tasteful simplicity such as she had never before beheld and through the windows which opened on a lawn that sloped to the banks of a rapid river she saw an amphitheatre of wooded hills which proved that how great soever had been the efforts of art to decorate their new habitation the hand of Nature had done still more to embellish it and all fear of Sir Patrick was lost in gratitude for his having chosen such a retirement
With eager curiosity Adeline hurried from room to room admired in the western apartments the fine effect of the declining sun shining through rosecoloured window curtains gazed with delight on the statues and pictures that every where met the eye and reposed with unsuspecting gaiety on the couches of eider down which were in profusion around Every thing in the house spoke it to be the temple of Pleasure but the innocent Adeline and her unobservant mother saw nothing but elegant convenience in an abode in which the disciples of Epicurus might have delighted and while Æolian harps in the windows and perfumes of all kinds added to the enchantment of the scene the bride only beheld in the choice of the villa a proof of her husbands desire of making her happy and Adeline sighed for virtuous love and Glenmurray as all that was wanting to complete her fascination
Sir Patrick meanwhile was not blind to the impressions made on Adeline by the beauty of the spot which he had chosen though he was far from suspecting the companion she had pictured to herself as most fitted to enjoy and embellish it and pleased because she was pleased and delighted to be regarded by her with such unusual looks of complacency he gave himself up to his natural vivacity and Adeline passed a merry if not a happy evening with the bride and bridegroom
But the next morning she arose with the painful conviction as fresh as ever on her mind that day would succeed to day and yet she should not behold Glenmurray and that day would succeed to day and still should she see OCarrol still be exposed to his noisy mirth to his odious familiarities which though she taught herself to believe they proceeded merely from the customs of his country and the nearness of their relationship it was to her most painful to endure
Her only resource therefore from unpleasant thoughts was reading and she eagerly opened the cases of books in the library which were unlocked But on taking down some of the books she was disappointed to find none of the kind to which she had been accustomed Mrs Mowbrays peculiar taste had led her as we have before observed to the perusal of nothing but political tracts systems of philosophy and Scuderis and other romances Scarcely had the works of our best poets found their way to her library and novels plays and works of a lighter kind she was never in the habit of reading herself and consequently had not put in the hands of her daughter Adeline had therefore read Rousseaus Contrat Social but not his Julie Montesquieus Esprit des Loix but not his Lettres Persanes and had glowed with republican ardour over the scenes of Voltaires Brutus but had never had her mind polluted by the pages of his romances
Different had been the circumstances and consequently the practice of the owner of Sir Patricks new abode Of all Rousseaus works he had in his library only the New Heloise and his Confessions of Montesquieu none but the glowing letters abovementioned and while Voltaires chaste and moral tragedies were excluded his profligate tales attracted the eye by the peculiar elegance of their binding while dangerous French novels of all descriptions met the view under the downy pillows of the inviting sofas around calculated to inflame the fancy and corrupt the morals
But Adeline unprepared by any reading of the kind to receive and relish the poison contained in them turned with disgust from pages so uncongenial to her feelings nor did her eye dwell delighted on any of the stores which the shelves contained
Disappointment in her hopes of finding amusement in reading Adeline had recourse to walking and none of the beautiful scenes around remained long unexplored by her In her rambles she but too frequently saw scenes of poverty and distress which ill contrasted with the beauty of the house which she inhabited scenes which even a small portion of the money expended there in useless decoration would have entirely alleviated and they were scenes too which Adeline had been accustomed to relieve The extreme of poverty in the cottage did not disgrace on the Mowbray estate the wellfurnished mansionhouse but Adeline as we have observed before was allowed to draw on her mother for money sufficient to prevent industrious labour from knowing the distress of want
And why should I not draw on her here for money for the same purposes cried Adeline to herself as she beheld one spectacle of peculiar hardships—Surely my mother is not dependent on her husband and even if she were Sir Patrick has not a hard heart and will not refuse my prayer and therefore promising the sufferers instant relief she left them saying she should soon reach the Pavilion and be back again while the objects of her bounty were silent with surprise at hearing that their relief was to come from the Pavilion a place hitherto closed to the solicitations of poverty though ever open to the revels and the votaries of pleasure
Adeline found her mother alone and with a beating heart and a flushed cheek she described the scene which she had witnessed and begged to be restored to her old office of almoner on such occasions
A sad scene indeed my dear Adeline replied the bride in evident embarrassment and I will speak to Sir Patrick about it
Speak to Sir Patrick madam cannot you follow the impulse of humanity without consulting him
I cant give the relief you ask without his assistance replied her mother for except a guinea or so I have no loose cash about me for my own uses—Sir Patricks benevolence has long ago emptied his purse and I gladly surrendered mine to him
And shall you in future have no money for the purposes of charity but that you must claim from Sir Patrick asked Adeline mournfully
O dear yes—I have a very handsome allowance settled on me but then at present he wants it himself Adeline involuntarily clasped her hands together in an agony and sighed deeply But however child added the bride as you seem to make such a point of it take this guinea to the cottage you mention en attendant
Adeline took the guinea but it was very insufficient to pay for medical attendance to discharge the rent due to a clamorous landlord and to purchase several things necessary for the relief of the poor sufferers therefore she added another guinea to it and not liking to relate her disappointment sent the money to them desiring the servant to say that she would see them the next morning when she resolved to apply to Sir Patrick for the relief which her mother could not give feeling at the same time the mournful conviction that she herself as well as her mother would be in future dependent on his bounty
Though disposed to give way to mournful reflections on her own account Adeline roused herself from the melancholy abstraction into which she was falling by reflecting that she had still to plead the cause of the poor cottagers with Sir Patrick and hearing he was in the house she hastened to prefer her petition
Sir Patrick listened to her tone of voice and gazed on her expressive countenance with delight but when she had concluded her narration a solitary halfguinea was all he bestowed on her saying I am never roused to charity by the descriptions of others I must always see the distress which I am solicited to relieve
Then go with me to the cottage exclaimed Adeline but to her great mortification he only smiled bowed and disappeared and when he returned to supper Adeline could scarcely prevail on herself to look at him without displeasure and could not endure the unfeeling vivacity of his manner
Mortified and unhappy she next morning went to the cottage reluctant to impart to its expecting inhabitants the ill success she had experienced But what was her surprise when they came out joyfully to meet her and told her that a gentleman had been there that morning very early had discharged their debts and given them a sum of money for their future wants
His name his name eagerly inquired Adeline but that they said he refused to give and as he was in a horsemans large coat and held a hankerchief to his face they were sure they should not know him again
A pleasing suspicion immediately came across Adelines mind that this benevolent unknown might be Glenmurray and the idea that he was perhaps unseen hovering round her gave her one of the most exquisite feelings which she had ever known But this agreeable delusion was soon dissipated by one of the childrens giving her a card which the kind stranger had dropped from his pocket and this card had on it Sir Patrick OCarrol
At first it was natural for her to be hurt and disappointed at finding that her hopes concerning Glenmurray had no foundation in truth but her benevolence and indeed regard for her mothers happiness as well as her own led her to rejoice in this unexpected proof of excellence in Sir Patrick—He had evidently proved that he loved to do good by stealth and had withdrawn himself even from her thanks
In a moment therefore she banished from her mind every trace of his unworthiness She had done him injustice and she sought refuge from the remorse which this consciousness inflicted on her by going into the opposite extreme From that hour indeed her complaisance to his opinions and her attentions to him were so unremitting and evident that Sir Patricks passion became stronger than ever and his hopes of a return to it seemed to be built on a very strong foundation
Adeline had given all her former suspicions to the wind daily instances of his benevolence came to her knowledge and threw such a charm over all he said and did that even the familiarity in his conduct look and manner towards her appeared to her now nothing more than the result of the free manners of his countrymen—and she sometimes could not help wishing Sir Patrick to be known to and intimate with Glenmurray But the moment was now at hand that was to unveil the real character of Sir Patrick and determine the destiny of Adeline
One day Sir Patrick proposed taking his bride to see a beautiful ferme ornee at about twelve miles distance and if it answered the expectations which he had formed of it they were determined to spend two or three days in the neighbourhood to enjoy the beauty of the grounds—in that case he was to return in the evening to the Pavilion and drive Adeline over the next morning to partake in their pleasure
To this scheme both the ladies gladly consented as it was impossible for them to suspect the villainous design which it was intended to aid
The truth was that Sir Patrick having as he fondly imagined gained Adelines affections resolved to defer no longer the profligate attempt which he had long meditated and had contrived this excursion in order to insure his wifes absence from home and a têteàtête with her daughter
At an early hour the curricle was at the door and Sir Patrick having handed his lady in took leave of Adeline He told her that he should probably return early in the evening pressed her hand more tenderly than usual and springing into the carriage drove off with a countenance animated with expected triumph
Adeline immediately set out on a long walk to the adjoining villages visited the cottages near the Pavilion and having dined at an early hour determined to pass the rest of the day in reading provided it was possible for her to find any book in the house proper for her perusal
With this intention she repaired to an apartment called the library but what in these times would be denominated a boudoir and this even in Paris would have been admired for its voluptuous elegance—On the table lay several costly volumes which seemed to have been very lately perused by Sir Patrick as some of them were open some turned down at particular passages but as soon as she glanced her eye over their contents Adeline indignantly threw them down again and while her cheek glowed with the blush of offended modesty she threw herself on a sofa and fell into a long and mournful reverie on the misery which awaited her mother in consequence of her having madly dared to unite herself for life to a young libertine who could delight in no other reading but what was offensive to good morals and to delicacy Nor could she dwell upon this subject without recurring to her former fears for herself and so lost was she in agonizing reflections that it was some time before she recollected herself sufficiently to remember that she was guilty of an indecorum in staying so long in an apartment which contained books that she ought not even to be suspected of having had an opportunity to peruse
Having once entertained this consciousness Adeline hastily arose and had just reached the door when Sir Patrick himself appeared at it She started back in terror when she beheld him on observing in his countenance and manner evident marks not only of determined profligacy but of intoxication Her suspicions were indeed just Bold as he was in iniquity he dared not in a cool and sober moment put his guilty purpose in execution and he shrunk with temporary horror from an attempt on the honour of the daughter of his wife though he believed that she would be a willing victim He had therefore stopped on the road to fortify his courage with wine and luckily for Adeline he had taken more than he was aware of for when after a vehement declaration of the ardour of his passion he dared irreverently to approach her Adeline strong in innocence aware of his intention and presuming on his situation disengaged herself from his grasp with ease and pushing him with violence from her he fell with such force against the brass edge of one of the sofas that stunned and wounded by the fall he lay bleeding on the ground Adeline involuntarily was hastening to his assistance but recollecting how mischievous to her such an exertion of humanity might be she contented herself with ringing the bell violently to call the servants to his aid Then in almost frantic haste she rushed out of the house ran across the park and when she recovered her emotion she found herself she scarcely knew how sitting on a turf seat by the road side
What will become of me she wildly exclaimed my mothers roof is no longer a protection to me—I cannot absent myself from it without alleging a reason for my conduct which will ruin her peace of mind for ever Wretch that I am whither can I go and where can I seek for refuge
At this moment as she looked around in wild dismay and raised her streaming eyes to heaven she saw a mans face peeping from between the branches of a tree opposite to her and observed that he was gazing on her intently Alarmed and fluttered she instantly started from her seat and was hastening away when the man suddenly dropped from his hidingplace and running after her called her by her name and conjured her to stop while with an emotion of surprise and delight she recognized in him Arthur the servant of Glenmurray
Instantly scarcely knowing what she did she pressed the astonished Arthurs rough hand in hers and by this action confused and confounded the poor fellow so much that the speech which he was going to make faltered on his tongue
Oh where is your master eagerly inquired Adeline
My master has sent you this miss replied Arthur holding out a letter which Adeline joyfully received and spite of her intended obedience to her mothers will Glenmurray himself could not have met with a more favourable reception for the moment was a most propitious one to his love nor as it happened was Glenmurray too far off to profit by it On his way from Bath he went a few miles out of his road in order as he said and perhaps as he thought to pay a visit to an old servant of his mothers who was married to a respectable farmer but fortunately the farm commanded a view of the Pavilion and Glenmurray could from his window gaze on the house that contained the woman of his affections
But to return to Adeline who while hastily tearing open the letter asked Arthur where his master was and heard with indescribable emotion that he was in the neighbourhood
Here so providentially she exclaimed and proceeded to read the letter but her emotion forbade her to read it entirely She only saw that it contained banknotes that Glenmurray was going abroad for his health and in case he should die there had sent her the money which he had meant to leave her in his will—lest she should be in the meanwhile any way dependent on Sir Patrick
Numberless conflicting emotions took possession of Adelines heart while the new proof of her lovers attentive tenderness met her view and as she contrasted his generous and delicate attachment with the licentious passion of her mothers libertine husband a burst of uncontrollable affection for Glenmurray agitated her bosom and rendered superstitious by her fears she looked on him as sent by Providence to save her from the dangers of her home
This is the second time cried she that Glenmurray as my guardian angel has appeared at the moment when I was exposed to danger from the same guilty quarter Ah surely there is more than accident in this and he is ordained to be my guide and my protector
When once a woman has associated with an amiable man the idea of protection he can never again be indifferent to her and when the protector happens to be the chosen object of her love his power becomes fixed on a basis never to be shaken
It is enough said Adeline in a faltering voice pressing the letter to her lips and bursting into tears of grateful tenderness as she spoke Lead me to your master directly
Bless my heart will you see him then miss cried Arthur
See him replied Adeline—see the only friend I now can boast—But let us be gone this moment lest I should be seen and pursued
Instantly guided by Arthur Adeline set off full speed for the farmhouse nor stopped till she found herself in the presence of Glenmurray
O I am safe now exclaimed Adeline throwing herself into his arms while he was so overcome with surprise and joy that he could not speak the welcome which his heart gave her and Adeline happy to behold him again was as silent as her lover At length Glenmurray exclaimed—
Do we then meet again Adeline
Yes replied she and we meet to part no more
Do not mock me cried Glenmurray starting from his seat and seizing her extended hand my feelings must not be trifled with
Nor am I a woman to trifle with them Glenmurray I come to you for safety and protection—I come to seek shelter in your arms from misery and dishonour You are ill you are going into a foreign country and from this moment look on me as your nurse your companion—your home shall be my home your country my country
Glenmurray too much agitated too happy to speak could only press the agitated girl to his bosom and fold his arms round her as if to assure her of the protection which she claimed
But there is not a moment to be lost cried Adeline I may be missed and pursued let us be gone directly
The first word was enough for Glenmurray eager to secure the recovered treasure which he had thought for ever lost his orders were given and executed by the faithful Arthur with the utmost dispatch and even before Adeline had explained to him the cause of her resolution to elope with him they were on their road to Cornwall meaning to embark at Falmouth for Lisbon
But Arthur who was going to marry and leave Glenmurrays service received orders to stay at the farm till he had learned how Sir Patrick was and having obtained the necessary information he was to send it to Glenmurray at Falmouth The next morning he saw Sir Patrick himself driving full speed past the farm and having written immediately to his master Adeline had the satisfaction of knowing that she had not purchased her own safety by the sufferings or danger of her persecutor and the consequent misery of her mother
CHAPTER X
But Glenmurrays heart needed no explanation of the cause of Adelines elopement She was with him—with him as she said for ever True she had talked of flying from misery and dishonour but he knew they could not reach her in his arms—not even dishonour according to the ideas of society—for he meant to make Adeline legally his as soon as they were safe from pursuit and his illness was forgotten in the fond transport of the present moment
Adelines joy was of a much shorter duration Recollections of a most painful nature were continually recurring True it was that it was no longer possible for her to reside under the roof of her mother but was it necessary for her to elope with Glenmurray the man whom she had solemnly promised her mother to renounce Then on the other side she argued that the appearance of love for Glenmurray was an excuse sufficient to conceal from her deluded parent the real cause of her elopement
It was my sole alternative said she mentally—my mother must either suppose me an unworthy child or know Sir Patrick to be an unworthy husband and it will be easier for her to support the knowledge of the one than the other then when she forgives me as no doubt she will in time I shall be happy but that I could never be while convinced that I had made her miserable by revealing to her the wickedness of Sir Patrick
While this was passing in her mind her countenance was full of such anxious and mournful expression that Glenmurray unable to keep silence any longer conjured her to tell him what so evidently weighed upon her spirits
The difficulty that oppressed me is past she replied wiping from her eyes the tears which the thought of having left her mother so unexpectedly and for the first time produced I have convinced myself that to leave home and commit myself to your protection was the most proper and virtuous step that I could take I have not obeyed the dictates of love but of reason
I am very sorry to hear it said Glenmurray mournfully
It seems to me so very rational to love you returned Adeline tenderly shocked at the sad expression of his countenance that what seems to be the dictates of reason may be those of love only
To a reply like this Glenmurray could only answer by close involvement not intelligible expressions of fondness to the object of them which are so delightful to lovers themselves and so uninteresting to other people nay so entirely was Glenmurray again engrossed by the sense of present happiness that his curiosity was still suspended and Adelines story remained untold But Adelines pleasure was damped by painful recollections and still more by her not being able to hide from herself the mournful consciousness that the ravages of sickness were but too visible in Glenmurrays face and figure and that the flush of unexpected delight could but ill conceal the hollow paleness of his cheek and the sunk appearance of his eyes
Meanwhile the chaise rolled on—post succeeded to post and though night was far advanced Adeline fearful of being pursued would not consent to stop and they travelled till morning But Glenmurray feeling himself exhausted prevailed on her for his sake to alight at a small inn on the road side near Marlborough
There Adeline narrated the occurrences of the past day but with difficulty could she prevail on herself to own to Glenmurray that she had been the object of such an outrage as she had experienced from Sir Patrick
A truly delicate woman feels degraded not flattered by being the object of libertine attempts and situated as Adeline and Glenmurray now were to disclose the insult which had been offered to her was a still more difficult task but to conceal it was impossible She felt that even to him some justification of her precipitate and unsolicited flight was necessary and nothing but Sir Patricks attempt could justify it She therefore blushing and hesitating revealed the disgraceful secret but such was its effect on the weak spirits and delicate health of Glenmurray that the violent emotions which he underwent brought on a return of his most alarming symptoms and in a few hours Adeline bending over the sick bed of her lover experienced for the first time that most dreadful of feelings fear for the life of the object of her affections
Two days however restored him to comparative safety and they reached a small and obscure village within a short distance from Falmouth most conveniently situated There they took up their abode and resolved to remain till the wind should change and enable them to sail for Lisbon
In this retreat situated in air as salubrious as that of the south of France Glenmurray was soon restored to health especially as happy love was now his and brought back the health of which hopeless love had contributed to deprive him The woman whom he loved was his companion and his nurse and so dear had the quiet scene of their happiness become to them that forgetful there was still a danger of their being discovered it was with considerable regret that they received a summons to embark and saw themselves on their voyage to Portugal
But before she left England Adeline wrote to her mother
After a pleasant and short voyage the lovers found themselves at Lisbon and Glenmurray pursuant to his resolution immediately proposed to Adeline to unite himself to her by the indissoluble ties of marriage
Nothing could exceed Adelines surprise at this proposal at first she could not believe Glenmurray was in earnest but seeing that he looked not only grave but anxious and as if earnestly expecting an answer she asked him whether he had convinced himself that what he had written against marriage was a tissue of mischievous absurdity
Glenmurray blushing with the conceit of an author replied that he still thought his arguments unanswerable
Then if you still are convinced your theory is good why let your practice be bad It is incumbent on you to act up to the principles that you profess in order to give them their proper weight in society—else you give the lie to your own declarations
But it is better for me to do that than for you to be the sacrifice to my reputation
I replied Adeline am entirely out of the question you are to be governed by no other law but your desire to promote general utility and are not to think at all of the interest of an individual
How can I do so when that individual is dearer to me than all the world beside cried Glenmurray passionately
And if you but once recollect that you are dearer to me than all the world beside you will cease to suppose that my happiness can be affected by the opinion entertained of my conduct by others As Adeline said this she twisted both her hands in his arms so affectionately and looked up in his face with so satisfied and tender an expression that Glenmurray could not bear to go on with a subject which evidently drew a cloud across her brow and hours days weeks and months passed rapidly over their heads before he had resolution to renew it
Hours days weeks and months spent in a manner most dear to the heart and most salutary to the mind of Adeline—Her taste for books which had hitherto been cultivated in a partial manner and had led her to one range of study only was now directed by Glenmurray to the perusal of general literature and the historian the biographer the poet and the novelist obtained alternately her attention and her praises
In her knowledge of the French and Italian languages too she was now considerably improved by the instructions of her lover and while his occasional illnesses were alleviated by her ever watchful attentions their attachment was cemented by one of the strongest of all ties—the consciousness of mutual benefit and assistance
CHAPTER XI
One evening as they were sitting on a bench in one of the public walks a gentleman approached them whose appearance bespoke him to be an Englishman though his sunburnt complexion showed that he had been for years exposed to a more ardent climate than that of Britain
As he came nearer Glenmurray thought his features were familiar to him and the stranger starting with joyful surprise seized his hand and welcomed him as an old friend Glenmurray returned his salutation with great cordiality and recognized in the stranger a Mr Maynard an amiable man who had gone to seek his fortune in India and was returned a nabob but with an irreproachable character
So then cried Mr Maynard gaily this is the elegant young English couple that my servant and even the innkeeper himself was so loud in praise of Little did I think the happy man was my old friend—though no man is more deserving of being happy but I beg you will introduce me to your lady
Glenmurray though conscious of the mistake he was under had not resolution enough to avow that he was not married and Adeline unaware of the difficulty of Glenmurrays situation received Mr Maynards salutation with the utmost ease though the tremor of her lovers voice and the blush on his cheek as he said—Adeline give me leave to introduce to you Mr Maynard an old friend of mine—were sufficient indications that the rencontre disturbed him
In a few minutes Adeline and Mr Maynard were no longer strangers Mr Maynard who had not lived much in the society of wellinformed women and not at all in that of women accustomed to original thinking was at once astonished and delighted at the variety of Adelines remarks at the playfulness of her imagination and the eloquence of her expressions But it was very evident at length to Mr Maynard that in proportion as Adeline and he became more acquainted and more satisfied with each other Glenmurray grew more silent and more uneasy The consequence was unavoidable as most men would have done on a like occasion Mr Maynard thought Glenmurray was jealous of him
But no thought so vexatious to himself and so degrading to Adeline had entered the confiding and discriminating mind of Glenmurray The truth was he knew that Mr Maynard whom he had seen in the walks though he had not known him again had ladies of his party and he expected that the more Mr Maynard admired his supposed wife the more would he be eager to introduce her to his companions
Nor was Glenmurray wrong in his conjectures
I have two sisters with me madam said Mr Maynard whom I shall be happy and proud to introduce to you One of them is a widow and has lived several years in India but returned with me in delicate health and was ordered hither she is not a woman of great reading but has an excellent understanding and will admire you The other is several years younger and I am sure she would be happy in an opportunity of profiting by the conversation of a lady who though not older than herself seems to have had so many more opportunities of improvement
Adeline bowed and expressed her impatience to form this new acquaintance and looked triumphantly at Glenmurray meaning to express—See spite of the supposed prejudices of the world here is a man who wants to introduce me to his sisters Little did she know that Maynard concluded she was a wife his absence from England had made him ignorant of the nature of Glenmurrays works or even that he was an author so that he was not at all likely to suppose that the moral pious youth whom he had always respected was become a visionary philosopher and in defiance of the laws of society was living openly with a mistress
But my sister will wonder what is become of me suddenly cried Maynard and as Emily is so unwell as to keep her room today I must not make her anxious But for her illness I should have requested your company to supper
And I should have liked to accept the invitation replied Adeline but I will hope to see the ladies soon
Oh without fail tomorrow cried Maynard if Emily be not well enough to call on you perhaps you will come to her apartments
Undoubtedly expect me at twelve oclock
Maynard then shook his grave and silent friend by the hand and departed—his vanity not a little flattered by the supposed jealousy of Glenmurray
There now said Adeline when he was out of hearing I hope some of your tender fears are done away You see there are liberal and unprejudiced persons in the world and Mr Maynard instead of shunning me courts my acquaintance for his sisters
Glenmurray shook his head and remained silent and Adeline was distressed to feel by his burning hand that he was seriously uneasy
I shall certainly call on these ladies tomorrow continued Adeline—I really pine for the society of amiable women
Glenmurray sighed deeply he dreaded to tell her that he could not allow her to call on them and yet he knew that this painful task awaited him Besides she wished she said to know some amiable women and eager as he was to indulge all her wishes he felt but too certainly that in this wish she could never be indulged Even had he been capable of doing so dishonourable an action as introducing his mistress as his wife he was sure that Adeline would have spurned at the deception and silent and sad he grasped Adelines hand as her arm rested within his and complaining of indisposition slowly returned to the inn
The next morning at breakfast Adeline again expressed her eagerness to form an acquaintance with the sisters of Mr Maynard when Glenmurray starting from his seat paced the room in considerable agitation
What is the matter cried Adeline hastily rising and laying her hand on his arm
Glenmurray grasped her hand and replied with assumed firmness Adeline it is impossible for you to form an acquaintance with Mr Maynards sisters propriety and honour both forbid me to allow it
Indeed exclaimed Adeline are they not as amiable then as he described them are they improper acquaintances for me Well then—I am disappointed but you are the best judge of what is right and I am contented to obey you
The simple ingenuous and acquiescent sweetness with which she said this was a new pang to her lover—had she repined had she looked illhumoured his task would not have been so difficult
But what reason can you give for declining this acquaintance resumed Adeline
Aye theres the difficulty replied Glenmurray pureminded and amiable as I know you to be how can I bear to tell these children of prejudice that you are not my wife but my mistress
Adeline started and turning pale exclaimed Are you sure then that they do not know it already
Quite sure—else Maynard would not have thought you a fit companion for his sisters
But surely—he must know your principles—he must have read your works
I am certain he is ignorant of both and does not even know that I am an author
Is it possible cried Adeline is there any one so unfortunate to be unacquainted with your writings
Glenmurray at another time would have been elated at a compliment like this from the woman whom he idolized but at this moment he heard it with a feeling of pain which he would not have liked to define to himself and casting his eyes to the ground he said nothing
So then said Adeline mournfully I am an improper companion for them not they for me and spite of herself her eyes filled with tears—At this moment a waiter brought in a note for Glenmurray—it was from Maynard and as follows—
My Dear Friend
Emily is better today and both my sisters are so impatient to see and know your charming wife that they beg me to present their compliments to Mrs Glenmurray and you and request the honour of your company to a late breakfast—at eleven oclock we hope to see you
Ever yours
G M
We will send an answer said Glenmurray but the waiter had been gone some minutes before either Adeline or Glenmurray spoke At length Adeline struggling with her feelings observed Mr Maynard seems so amiable a man that I should think it would not be difficult to convince him of his errors surely therefore it is your duty to call on him state our real situation and our reasons for it and endeavour to convince him that our attachment is sanctioned both by reason and virtue
But not by the church replied Glenmurray and Maynard is of the old school besides a man of fortyeight is not likely to be convinced by the arguments of a young man of twentyeight and the example of a girl of nineteen
If age be necessary to give weight to arguments returned Adeline I wonder that you thought proper to publish four years ago
Would to God I never had published exclaimed Glenmurray almost pettishly
If you had not I probably should never have been yours replied Adeline fondly leaning her head on his shoulder and then looking up in his face Glenmurray clasped her to his bosom but again the pleasure was mixed with pain All this time rejoined Adeline your friends are expecting an answer you had better carry it in person
I cannot replied Glenmurray and there is only one way of getting out of this business to my satisfaction
Name it and rest assured that I shall approve it
Then I wish to order horses immediately and set off on our road to France
So soon—though the air agrees with you so well
O yes—for when the mind is uneasy no air can be of use to the body
But why is your mind uneasy
Here I should be exposed to see Maynard and—and—he would see you too
And what then
What then—Why I could not bear to see him look on you with an eye of disrespect
And wherefore should he
O Adeline the name of wife imposes restraint even on a libertine but that of mistress—
Is Mr Maynard a libertine said Adeline gravely and Glenmurray afraid of wounding her feelings by entering into a further explanation changed the subject and again requested her consent to leave Lisbon
I have often told you said Adeline sighing that my will is yours and if you will give strict orders to have letters sent after us to the towns that we shall stop at I am ready to set off immediately
Glenmurray then gave his orders wrote a letter explaining his situation to Maynard and in an hour they were on their journey to France
CHAPTER XII
In the meanwhile Mr Maynard Miss Maynard and Mrs Wallington his widowed sister were impatiently expecting Glenmurrays answer and earnestly hoping to see him and his lovely companion—but from different motives Maynard was impatient to see Adeline because he really admired her his sisters because they hoped to find her unworthy of such violent admiration
Their vanity had been piqued and their envy excited by the extravagant praises of their brother and they had interrupted him by the first questions which all women ask on such occasions—Is she pretty
And he answered Very pretty
Is she tall
Very tall taller than I am
I hate tall women replied Miss Maynard a little round girl of nineteen
Is she fair
Exquisitely fair
I like brown women cried the widow fair people always look silly
But Mrs Glenmurrays eyes are hazel and her eyelashes long and dark
Hazel eyes are always boldlooking cried Miss Maynard
Not Mrs Glenmurrays for her expression is the most pure and ingenuous that I ever saw Some girls indecent in their dress and very licentious in their manner passed us as we sat on the walk and the comments which I made on them provoked from Mrs Glenmurray some remarks on the behaviour and dress of women and as she commented on the disgusting expression of vice in women and the charm of modest dignity both in dress and manners her own dress manners and expression were such an admirable comment on her words and she shone so brightly if I may use the expression in the graceful awfulness of virtue that I gazed with delight and somewhat of apprehension lest this fair perfection should suddenly take flight to her native skies toward which her fine eyes were occasionally turned
Bless me if our brother is not quite poetical This prodigy has inspired him replied the widow with a sneer
For my part I hate prodigies said Miss Maynard I feel myself unworthy to associate with them
When one woman calls another a prodigy and expresses herself as unworthy to associate with her it is very certain that she means to insult rather than compliment her and in this sense Mr Maynard understood his sisters words therefore after having listened with tolerable patience to a few more sneers at the unconscious Adeline he was provoked to say that illdisposed as he found they were toward his new acquaintance he hoped that when they became acquainted with her they would still give him reason to say as he always had done that he was proud of his sisters for in his opinion no woman ever looked so lovely as when she was doing justice to the merits and extenuating the faults of a rival
A rival exclaimed the sisters at once—And pray what rivalship could there be in this case
My remark was a general one but since you choose to make it a particular one I will answer to it as such continued Mr Maynard All women are rivals in one sense—rivals for general esteem and admiration and she only shall have my suffrage in her favour who can point out a beauty or a merit in another woman without insinuating at the same time a counterbalancing effect
But Mrs Glenmurray it seems has no defects
At least I have not known her long enough to find them out but you no doubt will when you know her very readily spare me that trouble
How injudiciously had Maynard prepared the minds of his sisters to admire Adeline It was a preparation to make them hate her and they were very impatient to begin the task of depreciating both her morale and her physique when Glenmurrays note arrived
It is not Glenmurrays hand said Maynard—indeed from agitation of mind the writing was not recognizable It must be hers then continued he affecting to kiss the address with rapture
It is the hand of a sloven observed Mrs Wallington studying the writing
But in dress she is as neat as a Quaker retorted the brother eagerly snatching the letter back and her mind seems as pure as her dress
He then broke the seal and read out what follows—
Dear Maynard
When you receive this Adeline and I shall be on our road to France and you—start not—are the occasion of our abrupt departure
So so jealous indeed said Maynard to himself and more impressed than ever with the charms of Adeline for he concluded that Glenmurray had discovered in her an answering prepossession
You the occasion brother cried both sisters
Have patience
You saw Adeline you admired her and wished to introduce her to your sisters—this honour forbad me to allow—the sisters started from their seats for Adeline is not my wife but my companion
Here Maynard made a full pause—at once surprised and confounded His sisters pleased as well as astonished looked triumphantly at each other and Mrs Wallington exclaimed So then this angel of purity turns out to be a kept lady At this remark Miss Maynard laughed heartily but Maynard to hide his confusion commanded silence and went on with the letter
But spite of her situation strange as it may seem to you believe me no wife was ever more pure than Adeline
At this passage the sisters could no longer contain themselves and they gave way to loud bursts of laughter which Maynard could hardly help joining in but being angry at the same time he uttered nothing but an oath which I shall not repeat and retreated to his chamber to finish the letter alone
During his absence the laughters redoubled—but in the midst of it Maynard reentered and desired they would allow him to read the letter to the end The sisters immediately begged that he would proceed as it was so amusing that they wished to hear more—Glenmurray continued thus
You have no doubt yet to learn that some few years ago I commenced author and published opinions contrary to the established usage of society amongst other things I proved the absurdity of the institution of marriage and Adeline who at an early age read my works became one of my converts
The man is certainly mad cried Maynard and how dreadful it is that this angelic creature should have been his victim
But perhaps this fallen angel brother for such you will allow she is spite of her purity was as wicked as he I know people in general only blame the seducer but I always blame the seduced equally
I do not doubt it said her brother sneeringly and going on with the letter
No wonder then that being forced to fly from her maternal roof she took refuge in my arms
Lucky dog
But though Adeline was the victim neither of her own weakness nor of my seductions but was merely urged by circumstances to act up to the principles which she openly professed I felt so conscious that she would be degraded in your eyes after you were acquainted with her situation though in mine she appears as spotless as ever that I could not bear to expose her even to a glance from you less respectful than those with which you beheld her last night I therefore prevailed on her to leave Lisbon nor had I any difficulty in so doing when she found that your wish of introducing her to your sisters was founded on your supposition of her being my wife and that all chance of your desiring her acquaintance for them would be over when you knew the nature of her connexion with me I shall now bid you farewell I write in haste and agitation and have not time to say more than God bless you
F G
Yes yes I see how it is muttered Mr Maynard to himself when he had finished the letter he was jealous of me I wish raising his voice that he had not been in such a hurry to go away
Why brother replied Mrs Wallington to be sure you would not have introduced us to this piece of angelic purity a little the worse for the wear
No replied he but I might have enjoyed her company myself
And perhaps brother you might have rivalled the philosophic author in time observed Miss Maynard
If I had not it would have been from no want of good will on my part returned Maynard
Well then I rejoice that the creature is gone replied Mrs Wallington drawing up
And I too said Miss Maynard disdainfully but I think we had better drop this subject I have had quite enough of it
And so have I cried Mrs Wallington but I must observe before we drop it entirely that when next my brother comes home and wearies his sisters by exaggerated praises of another woman I hope he will take care that his goddess or rather his angel of purity does not turn out to be a kept mistress
So saying she left the room and Miss Maynard tittering followed her while Maynard too sore on this subject to bear to be laughed at took his hat in a pet and flinging the door after him with great violence walked out to muse on the erring but interesting companion of Glenmurray
CHAPTER XIII
While these conversations were passing at Lisbon Glenmurray and Adeline were pursuing their journey to France and insensibly did the charm of being together obliterate from the minds of each the rencontre which had so much disturbed them
But Adeline began to be uneasy on a subject of much greater importance she every day expected an answer from her mother but no answer arrived and they had been stationary at Perpignan some days to which place they had desired their letters to be addressed poste restante and still none were forwarded thither from Lisbon
The idea that her mother had utterly renounced her now took possession of her imagination and love had no charm to offer her capable of affording her consolation the care which she had taken of her infancy the affectionate attentions that had preserved her life and the uninterrupted kindness which she had shown towards her till her attachment to Sir Patrick took place—all these pressed powerfully and painfully on her memory till her elopement seemed wholly unjustifiable in her eyes and she reprobated her conduct in terms of the most bitter selfreproach
At these moments even Glenmurray seemed to become the object of her aversion Her mother had forbidden her to think of him yet to make her flight more agonizing to her injured parent she had eloped with him But as soon as ever she beheld him he regained his wonted influence over her heart and her selfreproaches became less poignant she became sensible that Sir Patricks guilt and her mothers imprudent marriage were the causes of her own fault and not Glenmurray and could she but receive a letter of pardon from England she felt that her conscience would again be at peace
But soon an idea of a still more harassing nature succeeded and overwhelmed her Perhaps her desertion had injured her mothers health perhaps she was too ill to write perhaps she was dead—and when this horrible supposition took possession of her mind she used to avoid even the presence of her lover and as her spirits commonly sunk towards evening when the still renewed expectations of the day had been deceived she used to hasten to a neighbouring church when the bell called to vespers and prostrate on the steps of the altar lift up her soul to heaven in the silent breathings of penitence and prayer Having thus relieved her heart she returned to Glenmurray pensive but resigned
One evening after she had unburthened her feelings in this manner Glenmurray prevailed on her to walk with him to a public promenade and being tired they sat down on a bench in a shady part of the mall They had not sat long before a gentleman and two ladies seated themselves beside them
Glenmurray instantly rose up to depart but the gentleman also rose and exclaimed Tis he indeed Glenmurray have you forgotten your old friend Willie Douglas
Glenmurray pleased to see a friend whom he had once so highly valued returned the salutation with marked cordiality while the ladies with great kindness accosted Adeline and begged she would allow them the honour of her acquaintance
Taught by the rencontre at Lisbon Adeline for a moment felt embarrassed but there was something so truly benevolent in the countenance of both ladies and she was so struck by the extreme beauty of the younger one that she had not resolution to avoid or even to receive their advances coldly and while the gentlemen were commenting on each others looks and in an instant going over the occurrences of past years the ladies pleased with each other had entered into conversation
But I expected to see you and your lady said Major Douglas for Maynard was writing to me from Lisbon when he laid by his pen and took the walk in which he met you and on his return he filled up the rest of his letter with the praises of Mrs Glenmurray and expressions of envy at your happiness
Glenmurray and Adeline both blushed deeply So said Adeline to herself here will be another letter to write when we get home for though ingenuousness was one of her most striking qualities she had not resolution enough to tell her new acquaintance that she was not married besides she flattered herself that could she once interest these charming women in her favour they would not refuse her their society even when they knew her real situation for she thought them too amiable to be prejudiced as she called it and was not yet aware how much the perfection of the female character depends on respect even to what may be called the prejudices of others
The day began to close in but Major Douglas though Glenmurray was too uneasy to answer him except by monosyllables would not hear of going home and continued to talk with cheerfulness and interest of the scenes of his and Glenmurrays early youth He too was ignorant of his friends notoriety as an author he had lived chiefly at his estates in the Highlands nor would he have left them but because he was advised to travel for his health and the lovely creature whom he had married as well as his only sister was anxious on his account to put the advice in execution He therefore made no allusions to Glenmurrays opinions that could give him an opportunity of explaining his real situation and he saw with confusion that every moment increased the intimacy of Adeline and the wife and sister of his friend
At length his feelings operated so powerfully on his weak frame that a sudden faintness seized him and supported by Adeline and the major and followed by his two kind companions he returned to the inn there to get rid of the Douglases and avoid the inquiries of Adeline who suspected the cause of his illness he immediately retired to bed
His friends also returned home lamenting the apparently declining health of Glenmurray and expatiating with delight on the winning graces of his supposed wife for these ladies were of a different class of women to the sisters of Maynard—Mrs Douglas was so confessedly a beauty so rich in acknowledged attractions that she could afford to do justice to the attractions of another and Miss Douglas was so decidedly devoid of all pretensions to the lovely in person that the idea of competition with the beautiful never entered her mind and she was always eager to admire what she knew that she was incapable of rivalling Unexposed therefore to feel those petty jealousies those paltry competitions which injure the character of women in general Emma Douglass mind was the seat of benevolence and candour—as was her beautiful sisters from a different cause and they were both warmer even than the major in praise of Adeline
But a second letter from Mr Maynard awaited Major Douglas at the inn which put a fatal stop to their selfcongratulations at having met Glenmurray and his companion
Mr Maynard full of Glenmurrays letter and still more deeply impressed than ever with the image of Adeline could not forbear writing to the major on the subject giving as a reason that he wished to let him know the true state of affairs in order that he might avoid Glenmurray—The letter came too late
And I have seen him have welcomed him as a friend and he has had the impudence to introduce his harlot to my wife and sister
So spoke the major in the language of passion—and passion is never accurate—Glenmurray had not introduced Adeline and this was gently hinted by the kind and candid Emma Douglas while the younger and more inexperienced wife sat silent with consternation at having pressed with the utmost kindness the hand of a kept mistress
Vain were the representations of his sister to sooth the wounded pride of Major Douglas Without considering the difficulty of such a proceeding he insisted upon it that Glenmurray should have led Adeline away instantly as unworthy to breathe the same air with his wife and sister
You find by that letter brother said Miss Douglas that this unhappy Adeline is still an object of respect in his eyes and he could not wound her feelings so publicly especially as she seems to be more illjudging than vicious
She spoke in vain—The major was a soldier and so delicate in his ideas of the honour of women that he thought his wife and sister polluted from having though unconsciously associated with Adeline being violently irritated therefore at the supposed insult offered him by Glenmurray he left the room and having dispatched a challenge to him told the ladies he had letters to write to England till bedtime arrived then after having settled his affairs in case he should fall in the conflict he sat brooding alone over the insolence of his former friend
There was a consciousness too which aggravated his resentment Calumny had been busy with his reputation and though he deserved it not had once branded him with the name of coward Besides his elder sister had been seduced by a man of very high rank and was then living with him as his mistress Made still more susceptible therefore of affront by this distressing consciousness he suspected that Glenmurray from being acquainted with these circumstances had presumed on them and dared to take a liberty with him situated as he then was which in former times he would not have ventured to offer
As Adeline and Glenmurray were both retired for the night when the majors note arrived it was not delivered till morning—nor then luckily till Adeline supposing Glenmurray asleep was gone to take her usual walk to the postoffice Glenmurray little aware of its contents opened it and read as follows—
Sir
For your conduct in introducing your mistress to my wife and sister I demand immediate satisfaction As you may possibly not have recovered your indisposition of last night and I wish to take no unfair advantages I do not desire you to meet me till evening but at six oclock a mile out of the north side of the town I shall expect you—I can lend you pistols if you have none
There is only one step to be taken said Glenmurray mentally starting up and dressing himself and in a few moments he was at Major Douglass lodgings
The major had just finished dressing when Glenmurray was announced He started and turned pale at seeing him then dismissing his servant and taking up his hat and his pistols he desired Glenmurray to walk out with him
With all my heart replied Glenmurray But recollecting himself No no said he I come hither now merely to talk to you and if after what has passed the ladies should see us go out together they would be but too sure of what was going to happen and might follow us
Well then sir cried the major we had better separate till evening
I shall not leave you Major Douglas replied Glenmurray solemnly whatever harsh things you may say or do till I have made you listen to me
How can I listen to you when nothing you can say can be a justification of your conduct
I do not mean to offer any—I am only come to tell you my story with that of my companion and my resolutions in consequence of my situation and I conjure you by the recollections of our early days of our past pleasures and fatigues those days when fatigue itself was a pleasure and I was not the weak emaciated being that I am now unable to bear exertion and overcome even to female weakness by agitation of mind such as I experienced last night—
For Gods sake sit down cried the major glancing his eye over the faded form of Glenmurray—Glenmurray sat down
I say I conjure you by these recollections he continued to hear me with candour and patience Weakness will render me brief Here he paused to wipe the damps from his forehead and Douglas in a voice of emotion desired him to say whatever he chose but to say it directly
I will replied Glenmurray for indeed there is one at home who will be alarmed at my absence
The major frowned and biting his lip said Proceed Mr Glenmurray in his usual tone
Glenmurray obeyed He related his commencing author—the nature of his works—his acquaintance with Adeline—its consequences—her mothers marriage—Sir Patricks villany—Adelines elopement her refusal to marry him and the grounds on which it was founded And now cried Glenmurray when his narration was ended hear my firm resolve Let the consequences to my reputation be what they may let your insults be what they may I will not accept your challenge I will not expose Adeline to the risk of being left without a protector in a foreign land and probably without one in her own I fear that in the natural course of things I shall not continue with her long but while I can watch over and contribute to her happiness no dread of shame no fear for what others may think of me no selfish consideration whatever shall induce me to hazard a life which belongs to her and on which at present her happiness depends I think Douglas you are incapable of treating me with dignity but even to that I will patiently submit rather than expose my life while consoled by my motive I will triumphantly exclaim—See Adeline what I can endure for thy sake
Here he paused and the major interested and affected had involuntarily put out his hand to him but drawing it back he said Then I may be sure that you meant no affront to me by suffering my wife and sister to converse with Miss Mowbray
Glenmurray having put an end to these suspicions entirely by a candid avowal of his feelings and of his wish to have escaped directly if possible the major shook him affectionately by the hand and told him that though he firmly believed too much learning had made him mad yet that he was as much his friend as ever But what vexes me is said he that you should have turned the head of that sweet girl The opinion of the world is every thing to a woman
Aye it is indeed replied Glenmurray and spite of ridicule I would marry Adeline directly as I said before to guaranty her against reproach—I wish you would try to persuade her to be mine legally
That I will eagerly replied the major I am sure I shall prevail with her I am sure I shall soon convince her that the opinions she holds are nothing but nonsense
You will find replied Glenmurray blushing that her arguments are unanswerable notwithstanding
What though taken from the cursed books you mentioned
You forget that I wrote these books
So I did and I wish she could forget it also and then they would appear to her as they must do no doubt to all people of common sense and that is abominable stuff
Glenmurray bit his lips—but the author did not long absorb the lover and he urged the major to return with him to his lodgings
Aye that I will cried he and what is more my sister Emma who writes admirably shall write her a letter to convince her that she had better be married directly
She had better converse with her said Glenmurray
The major looked grave and observed that they would do well to go and consult the women on the subject and tell them the whole story So saying he opened the door of a closet leading to their apartment but there to their great surprise they found Mrs Douglas and Emma and as well informed of everything as themselves—for expecting that a duel might be the consequence of the majors impetuosity and hearing Mr Glenmurray announced they resolved to listen to the conversation and if it took the turn which they expected to rush in and endeavour to mollify the disputants
So ladies this is very pretty indeed Eavesdroppers I protest cried Major Douglas but he said no more for his wife affected by the recital which she had heard and delighted to find that there would be no duel threw her arms round his neck and burst into tears Emma almost equally affected gave her hand to Glenmurray and told him nothing on her part should be omitted to prevail on Adeline to sacrifice her opinions to her welfare
I said so cried the major You will write to her
No I will see her and argue with her
And so will I cried the wife
That you shall not bluntly replied the major
Why not I think it my duty to do all I can to save a fellowcreature from ruin and words spoken from the heart are always more powerful than words written
But what will the world say if I permit you to converse with a kept mistress
The world here to us as we associate with none and are known to none is Mr Glenmurray and Miss Mowbray and of their good word we are sure
Aye cried Emma and sure of succeeding with this interesting Adeline too for if she likes us as I think she does—
She adores you replied Glenmurray
So much the better—then when we shall tell her that we cannot associate with her much as we admire her unless she consents to become a wife surely she will hear reason
No doubt cried Mrs Douglas and then we will go to church with her and you Emma shall be brides maid
I see no necessity for that observed the major gravely
But I do replied Emma She will repeat her vows with more heartfelt reverence when two respectable women deeply impressed themselves with their importance shall be there to witness them
But there is no Protestant church here exclaimed Glenmurray however we can go back to Lisbon and you are already resolved to return thither
This point being settled it was agreed that Glenmurray should prepare Adeline for their visit and with a lightened heart he went to execute his commission But when he saw Adeline he forgot his commission and every thing but her distress for he found her with an open letter in her hand and an unopened one on the floor in a state of mind almost bordering on phrensy
CHAPTER XIV
As soon as Adeline beheld Glenmurray See she exclaimed in a hoarse and agitated tone there is my letter to my mother returned unopened and here is a letter from Dr Norberry which has broken my heart—however we must go to England directly
The letter was as follows—
You have made a pretty fool of me deluded but still dear girl for you have made me believe in forebodings You may remember with what a full heart I bade you adieu and I recollect what a devilish queer sensation I had when the parkgates closed on your fleet carriage I almost swore at the postillions for driving so fast as I wished to see you as long as I could and now I protest that I believe I was actuated by a foreboding that at that house and on that spot I should never behold you again Here a tear had fallen on the paper and the word again was nearly blotted out Dear lost Adeline I prayed for you too I prayed that you might return as innocent and happy as you left me Heaven have mercy on us who should have thought it—But this is nothing to the purpose and I suppose you think you have done nought but what is right and clever
He then proceeded to inform Adeline who had written to him to implore his mediation between her and her mother that the latter had sent express for him on finding by the hasty scrawl which came the day after Adelines departure from the farmhouse that she had eloped and who was the companion of her flight that he found her in violent agitation as Sir Patrick stung to madness at the success of his rival had with an ingenuousness worthy a better cause avowed to her his ardent passion for her daughter his resolution to follow the fugitives and by every means possible separate Adeline from her lover and that after having thanked Lady OCarrol for her great generosity to him he had taken his pistols mounted his horse attended by his groom also well armed and vowed that he would never return unless accompanied by the woman whom he adored
No wonder therefore continued the doctor that I was an unsuccessful advocate for you—especially as I was not inclined to manage the old brides selflove for I was so provoked at her folly in marrying the handsome profligate that if she had not been in distress I never meant to see her again But poor silly you she suffers enough for her folly and so do you—for her affections and her selflove being equally wounded by Sir Patricks confession you are at present the object of her aversion To you she attributes all the misery of having lost the man on whom she still dotes and when she found from your last letter to me that you are not the wife but the mistress of Glenmurray by the bye your letter to her from Lisbon she desires me to return unopened and that the child once her pride is become her disgrace she declared her solemn resolution never to see you more and to renounce you for ever—Terrible words Adeline I tremble to write them But a circumstance has since occurred which gives me hopes that she may yet forgive and receive you on certain conditions About a fortnight after Sir Patricks departure a letter from Ireland directed to him in a womans hand arrived at the Pavilion Your mother opened it and found it was from a wife of her amiable husband whom he had left in the north of Ireland and who having heard of his second marriage wrote to tell him that unless he came quickly back to her she would prosecute him for bigamy as he knew very well that undoubted proofs of the marriage were in her possession At first this new proof of her beautiful spouses villany drove your mother almost to phrensy and I was again sent for but time reflection and perhaps my arguments convinced her that to be able to free herself from this rascal for ever and consequently her fortune losing only the ten thousand pounds which she had given him to pay his debts was in reality a consoling circumstance Accordingly she wrote to the real Lady OCarrol promising to accede quietly to her claim and wishing that she would spare her and herself the disgrace of a public trial especially as it must end in the conviction of Sir Patrick She then on hearing from him that he had traced you to Falmouth and was going to embark for Lisbon when the wind was favourable enclosed him a copy of his wifes letter and bade him an eternal farewell—But be not alarmed lest this insane profligate should overtake and distress you He is gone to his final account In his hurry to get on board overcome as he was with the great quantity of liquor which he had drunk to banish care he sprung from the boat before it was near enough to reach the vessel his foot slipped against the side he fell into the water and going under the ship never rose again I leave you to imagine how the complicated distresses of the last three months and this awful climax to them have affected your mothers mind even I cannot scold her now for the life of me she is not yet I believe disposed in your favour but were you here and were you to meet it is possible that forlorn lonely and deserted as she now feels the tie between you might be once more cemented and much as I resent your conduct you may depend on my exertions—O Adeline child of my affection why must I blush to subscribe myself
Your sincere friend
J N
Words cannot describe the feelings of anguish which this letter excited in Adeline nor could she make known her sensations otherwise than by reiterated requests to be allowed to set off for England directly—requests to which Glenmurray alarmed for her intellects immediately assented Therefore leaving a hasty note for the Douglases they soon bade farewell to Perpignan and after a long laborious journey but a short passage they landed at Brighton
It was a fine evening and numbers of the gay and fashionable of both sexes were assembled on the beach to see the passengers land Adeline and Glenmurray were amongst the first and while heartsick fatigued and melancholy Adeline took the arm of her lover and turned disgusted from the brilliant groups before her she saw walking along the shore Dr Norberry his wife and his two daughters
Instantly unmindful of every thing but the delight of seeing old acquaintances and of being able to gain some immediate tiding of her mother she ran up to them and just as they turned round she met them extending her hand in friendship as she was wont to do—But in vain—no hand was stretched out to meet hers nor tongue nor look proclaimed a welcome to her Dr Norberry himself coldly touched his hat and passed on while his wife and daughters looked scornfully at her and without deigning to notice her pursued their walk
Astonished and confounded Adeline had not power to articulate a word and had not Glenmurray caught her in his arms she would have fallen to the ground
Then now I am indeed an outcast even my oldest and best friend renounces me she exclaimed
But I am left to you cried Glenmurray
Adeline sighed She could not say as she had formerly done and you are all to me The image of her mother happy as the wife of a man she loved could not long rival Glenmurray but the image of her mother disgraced and wretched awoke all the habitual but dormant tenderness of years every feeling of filial gratitude revived in all its force and even while leaning on the shoulder of her lover she sighed to be once more clasped to the bosom of her mother
Glenmurray felt the change but though grieved was not offended—I shall die in peace he cried if I can but see you restored to your mothers affection even though the surrender of my happiness is to be the purchase
You shall die in peace replied Adeline shuddering The phrase was welltimed though perhaps undesignedly so Adeline clung close to his arm her eyes filled with tears and all the way to the inn she thought only of Glenmurray with an apprehension which she could not conquer
What do you mean to do now said Glenmurray
Write to Dr Norberry I think he will at least have humanity enough to let me know where to find my mother
No doubt and you had better write directly
Adeline took up her pen A letter was written—and as quickly torn Letter succeeded to letter but not one of them answered her wishes The dark hour arrived and the letter remained unwritten
It is too soon to ring for candles said Glenmurray putting his arm round her waist and leading her to the window The sun was below the horizon but the reflection of his beams still shone beautifully on the surrounding objects Adeline reclining her cheek on Glenmurrays arm gazed in silence on the scene before her when the door suddenly opened and a gentleman was announced It was now so dark that all objects were indistinctly seen and the gentleman had advanced close to Adeline before she knew him to be Dr Norberry and before she could decide how she should receive him she felt herself clasped to his bosom with the affection of a father
Surprised and affected she could not speak and Glenmurray had ordered candles before Adeline had recovered herself sufficiently to say these words After your conduct on the beach I little expected this visit
Pshaw replied the doctor when a man out of regard to society has performed a painful task surely he may be allowed out of regard to himself to follow the dictates of his heart—I obeyed my head when I passed you so cavalierly and I thought I should never have gone through my task as I did—but then for the sake of my daughters I gave a gulp and called up a fierce look But I told madam that I meant to call on you and she insisted very properly that it should be in the dark hour
But what of my mother
She is a miserable woman as she deserved to be—an old fool
Pray do not call her so to hear she is miserable is torment sufficient to me—where is she
Still at the Pavilion but she is going to let Rosevalley retire to her estate in Cumberland and live unknown and unseen
But will she not allow me to live with her
What as Mr Glenmurrays mistress receive under her roof the seducer of her daughter
Sir I am no seducer
No cried Adeline I became the mistress of Mr Glenmurray from the dictates of my reason not my weakness or his persuasions
Humph replied the doctor I should expect to find such reason in Moorfields besides had not Mr Glenmurrays books turned your head you would not have thought it pretty and right to become the mistress of any man so he is your seducer after all
So far I plead guilty replied Glenmurray but whatever my opinions are I have ever been willing to sacrifice them to the welfare of Miss Mowbray and have from the first moment that we were safe from pursuit been urgent to marry her
Then why are you not married
Because I would not consent said Adeline coldly
Mad certainly mad exclaimed the doctor but you faith you are an honest fellow after all turning to Glenmurray and shaking him by the hand weak of the head not bad in the heart burn your vile books and I am your friend for ever
We will discuss that point another time replied Glenmurray at present the most interesting subject to us is the question whether Mrs Mowbray will forgive her daughter or not
Why man if I may judge of Mrs Mowbray by myself one condition of her forgiveness will be your marrying her daughter
O blest condition cried Glenmurray
I should think replied Adeline coldly my mother must have had too much of marriage to wish me to marry but if she should insist on my marrying I will comply and on no other account
Strange infatuation To me appears only justice and duty But your reasons girl your reasons
They are few but strong Glenmurray philanthropically bent on improving the state of society puts forth opinions counteracting its received usages backed by arguments which are in my opinion incontrovertible
In your opinion—Pray child how old are you
Nineteen
And at that age you set up for a reformer Well—go on
But though it be important to the success of his opinions and indeed to the respectability of his character that he should act according to his precepts he for the sake of preserving to me the notice of persons whose narrowness of mind I despise would conform to an institution which both he and I think unworthy of regard from a rational being—And shall not I be as generous as he is shall I scruple to give up for his honour and fame the petty advantages which marriage would give me Never—his honour and fame are too dear to me but the claims which my mother has on me are in my eyes so sacred that for her sake though not for my own I would accept the sacrifice which Glenmurray offers If then she says that she will never see or pardon me till I am become a wife I will follow him to the altar directly but till then I must insist on remaining as I am It is necessary that I should respect the man I love and I should not respect Glenmurray were he not capable of supporting with fortitude the consequences of his opinions and could he for motives less strong than those he avows cease to act up to what he believes to be right For never can I respect or believe firmly in the truth of those doctrines the followers of which shrink from a sort of martyrdom in support of them
O Mr Glenmurray cried the doctor shaking his head what have you to answer for What a glorious champion would that creature have been in the support of truth when even error in her looks so like to virtue—And then the amiable disinterestedness of you both—What a powerful thing must true love be when it can make a speculative philosopher indifferent to the interests of his system and ready to act in direct opposition to it rather than injure the respectability of the woman he loves Well well the Lord forgive you young man for having taken it into your head to set up for a great author
Glenmurray answered by a deepdrawn sigh and the doctor continued Then there is that girl again with a heart so fond and true that her love comes in aid of her integrity and makes her think no sacrifice too great in order to prove her confidence in the wisdom of her lover—urging her to disregard all personal inconveniences rather than let him forfeit for her sake his pretensions to independence and consistency of character girl I cant help admiring you but no more I could a Malabar widow who with fond and pious enthusiasm from an idea of duty throws herself on the funeral pile of her husband But still I should think you a great fool notwithstanding for professing the opinions that led to such an exertion of duty And now here are you possessed of every quality both of head and heart to bless others and to bless yourself—owing to your foolish and pernicious opinions—here you are I say blasted in reputation in the prime of your days and doomed perhaps to pine through existence in—Pshaw I cant support the idea added he gulping down a sob as he spoke and traversing the room in great emotion
Adeline and Glenmurray were both of them deeply and painfully affected and the latter was going to express what he felt when the doctor seizing Adelines hand affectionately exclaimed Well my poor child I will see your mother once more I will go to London tomorrow—by this time she is there—and you had better follow me you will hear of me at the Old Hummums and here is a card of address to an hotel near it where I would advise you to take up your abode
So saying he shook Glenmurray by the hand when starting back he exclaimed Why man here is a skin like fire and a pulse like lightning My dear fellow you must take care of yourself
Adeline burst into tears
Indeed doctor I am only nervous
Nervous—What I suppose you think you understand my profession better than I do But dont cry my child when your mind is easier perhaps he will do very well and as one thing likely to give him immediate ease I prescribe a visit to the altar of the next parish church
So saying he departed and all other considerations were again swallowed up in Adelines mind by the idea of Glenmurrays danger
Is it possible that my marrying you would have such a blessed effect on your health cried Adeline after a pause
It certainly would make my mind easier than it now is replied he
If I thought so said Adeline but no—regard for my supposed interest merely makes you say so and indeed I should not think so well of you as I now do if I imagined that you could be made easy by an action by which you forfeited all pretensions to that consistency of character so requisite to the true dignity of a philosopher
A deep sigh from Glenmurray in answer proved that he was no philosopher
In the morning the lovers set off for London Dr Norberry having preceded them by a few hours This blunt but benevolent man had returned the evening before slowly and pensively to his lodgings his heart full of pity for the errors of the wellmeaning enthusiasts whom he had left and his head full of plans for their assistance or rather for that of Adeline But he entered his own doors again reluctantly—he knew but too well that no sympathy with his feelings awaited him there His wife a woman of narrow capacity and no talents or accomplishments had like all women of that sort a great aversion to those of her sex who united to feminine graces and gentleness the charms of a cultivated understanding and pretensions to accomplishments or literature
Of Mrs Mowbray as we have before observed she had always been peculiarly jealous because Dr Norberry spoke of her knowledge with wonder and of her understanding with admiration not that he entertained one moment a feeling of preference towards her inconsistent with an almost idolatrous love of his wife whose skill in all the domestic duties and whose very pretty face and person were the daily themes of his praise But Mrs Norberry wished to engross all his panegyrics to herself and she never failed to expatiate on Mrs Mowbrays foibles and flightiness as long as the doctor had expatiated on her charms
Sometimes indeed this last subject was sooner exhausted than the one which she had chosen but when Adeline grew up and became as it were the rival of her daughters in the praises of her husband she found it difficult as we have said before to bring faults in array against excellencies
Mrs Norberry could with propriety observe when the doctor was exclaiming What a charming essay Mrs Mowbray has just written
Aye—but I dare say she cant write a market bill
When he said How well she comprehends the component parts of the animal system
She could with great justice reply But she knows nothing of the component parts of a plum pudding
But when Adeline became the object of the husbands admiration and the wifes enmity Mrs Norberry could not make these pertinent remarks as Adeline was as conversant with all branches of housewifery as herself and though as learned in all systems as her mother was equally learned in the component parts of puddings and pies She was therefore at a loss what to say when Adeline was praised by the doctor and all she could observe on the occasion was that the girl might be clever but was certainly very ugly very affected and very conceited
It is not to be wondered at therefore that Mrs Mowbrays degrading and unhappy marriage and Adelines elopement should have been sources of triumph to Mrs Norberry and her daughters who though they liked Mrs Mowbray very well could not bear Adeline
So Dr Norberry these are your uncommon folks—exclaimed Mrs Norberry on hearing of the marriage and of the subsequent elopement—I suppose you are now well satisfied at not having a genius for your wife or geniuses for your daughters
I always was my dear meekly replied the mortified and afflicted doctor and dropped the subject as soon as possible nor had it been resumed for some time when Adeline accosted them on the beach at Brighton But her appearance called forth their dormant enmity and the whole way to their lodgings the good doctor heard her guilt expatiated upon with as much violence as ever but just as they got home he coldly and firmly observed I shall certainly call on the poor deluded girl this evening
And Mrs Norberry knowing by the tone and manner in which he spoke that this was a point which he would not give up contented herself with requiring only that he should go in the dark hour
CHAPTER XV
It was to a wife and daughters such as these that he was returning with the benevolent wish of interesting them for the guilty Adeline
So Dr Norberry you are come back at last was his first salutation and what does the creature say for herself
The creature—Your fellowcreature my dear says very little—grief is not wordy
Grief—So then she is unhappy is she cries Miss Norberry I am monstrous glad of it
The doctor started and an oath nearly escaped his lips He did say Why zounds Jane—but then he added in a softer tone Why do you rejoice in a poor girls affliction
Because I think it is for the good of her soul
Good girl replied the father—Jane seizing her hand may your soul never need such a medicine
It never will said her mother proudly she has been differently brought up
She has been well brought up you might have added observed the doctor had modesty permitted it Mrs Mowbray poor woman had good intentions but she was too flighty Had Adeline my children had such a mother as yours she would have been like you
But not half so handsome interrupted the mother in a low voice
But as our faults and our virtues my dear depend so much on the care and instruction of others we should look with pity as well as aversion on the faults of those less fortunate in instructors than we have been
Certainly—very true said Mrs Norberry flattered and affected by this compliment from her husband but you know James Norberry laying her hand on his I always told you you overrated Mrs Mowbray and that she was but a dawdle after all
You always did my good woman replied he raising her hand to his lips
But you men think yourselves much wiser than we are
We do so replied the doctor
The tone was equivocal—Mrs Norberry felt it to be so and looked up in his face—The doctor understood the look it was one of doubt and inquiry and as it was his interest to sooth her in order to carry his point he exclaimed We men are indeed too apt to pride ourselves in our supposed superior wisdom but I you will own my dear have always done your sex justice and you in particular
You have been a good husband indeed James Norberry replied his wife in a faltering voice and I believe you to be to every one a just and honourable man
And I dare say dame I do no more than justice to you when I think you will approve and further a plan for Adeline Mowbrays good which I am going to propose to you
Mrs Norberry withdrew her hand but returning it again—To be sure my dear she cried Any thing you wish that is if I see right to—
I will explain myself continued the doctor gently
I have promised this poor girl to endeavour to bring about a reconciliation between her and her mother but though Adeline wishes to receive her pardon on any terms and even if it be required to renounce her lover I fear Mrs Mowbray is too much incensed against her to see or forgive her
Hardhearted woman cried Mrs Norberry
Cruel indeed cried her daughters
But a mother ought to be severe very severe on such occasions young ladies hastily added Mrs Norberry but go on my dear
Now it is but too probable continued the doctor that Glenmurray will not live long and then this young creature will be left to struggle unprotected with the difficulties of her situation and who knows but that she may from poverty and the want of a protector be tempted to continue in the paths of vice
Well Dr Norberry and what then—Who or what is to prevent it—You know we have three children to provide for and I am a young woman as yet
True Hannah giving her a kiss and a very pretty woman too
Well my dear love anything we can do with prudence I am ready to do I can say no more
You have said enough cried the doctor exultingly then hear my plan Adeline shall in the event of Glenmurrays death which though not certain seems likely—to be sure I did not inquire into the nature of his nocturnal perspirations his expectoration and so forth—
Dear papa you are so professional affectedly exclaimed his youngest daughter
Well child I have done and to return to my subject—if Glenmurray lives or dies I think it advisable that Adeline should go into retirement to liein And where can she be better than in my little cottage now empty within a fourmiles ride of our house If she wants protection I can protect her and if she wants money before her mother forgives her you can give it to her
Indeed papa cried both the girls we shall not grudge it
The doctor started from his chair and embraced his daughters with joy mixed with wonder for he knew they had always disliked Adeline—True but then she was prosperous and their superior Little minds love to bestow protection and it was easy to be generous to the fallen Adeline Mowbray had her happiness continued so would their hatred
Then it is a settled point is it not dame asked the doctor chucking his wife under the chin when to his great surprise and consternation she threw his hand indignantly from her and vociferated She shall never live within a ride of our house I can assure you Dr Norberry
The doctor was petrified into silence and the girls could only articulate La mamma But what could produce this sudden and violent change Nothing but a simple and natural operation of the human mind Though a very kind husband and an indulgent father Dr Norberry was suspected though unjustly of being a very gallant man and some of Mrs Norberrys goodnatured friends had occasionally hinted to her their sorrow at hearing such and such reports reports which were indeed destitute of foundation but which served to excite suspicions in the mind of the tenacious Mrs Norberry And what more likely to reawaken them than the young and frail Adeline Mowbray living in a cottage of her husbands protected supported and visited by him The moment this idea occurred its influence was unconquerable and with a voice and manner of determined hostility she made known her resolves in consequence of it
After a pause of dismay and astonishment the doctor cried Dame what have you gotten in your head What all on a sudden has had such an ugly effect on you
Second thoughts are best doctor and I now feel that it would be highly improper for you with daughters grown up to receive with such marked kindness a single young woman at a cottage of yours who is going to liein
But my dear it is a different case when I do it to keep her out of the way of further harm
That is more than I know Dr Norberry replied the wife bridling and fanning herself
Whew whistled the doctor and then addressing his daughters Girls you had better go to bed it grows late
The young ladies obeyed but first hung round their mothers neck as they bade her good night and hoped she would not be so cruel to the poor deluded Adeline
Mrs Norberry angrily shook them off with a peevish—Get along girls The doctor cordially kissed and bade God bless them while the door closed and left the loving couple alone
What passed it were tedious to repeat suffice that after a long altercation continued even after they were retired to rest the doctor found his wife on this subject incapable of listening to reason and that as a finishing stroke she exclaimed It does not signify talking Dr Norberry while I have my senses and can see into a millstone a little the hussey shall never come near us
The doctor sighed deeply turned himself round not to sleep but to think and rose the next morning to go in search of Mrs Mowbray dreading the interview which he was afterwards to have with Adeline for he did not expect to succeed in his application to her mother and he could not now soften his intelligence with a but as he intended True he meant to have said to her your mother will not receive you but if you ever want a home or a place of retirement I have a cottage and so forth
Pshaw cried the doctor to himself as these thoughts came across him on the road and made him hastily let down the front window of the postchaise for air
Did your honour speak cries the postboy
Not I But cant you drive faster and be hanged to you
The boy whipped his horses—The doctor then found that it was up hill—down went the glass again—Hold you brute why do you not see it is up hill For find fault he must and with his wife he could not or dared not even in fancy
Dear me Why your honour bade me put it on
Devilishly obedient muttered the doctor I wish every one was like you in that respect—And in a state of mind not the pleasantest possible the doctor drove into town and to the hotel where Mrs Mowbray was to be found
Dr Norberry was certainly now not in a humour to sooth any woman whom he thought in the wrong except his wife and whether from carelessness or design he did not unfortunately for Adeline manage the selflove of her unhappy mother
He found Mrs Mowbray with her heart shut up not softened by sorrow The hands once stretched forth with kindness to welcome him were now stiffly laid one upon the other and How are you sir coldly articulated was followed by as cold a Pray sit down
Why how ill you look exclaimed the doctor
I attend more to my feelings than my looks with a deep sigh answered Mrs Mowbray
Your feelings are as bad as your looks I dare say
They are worse sir said Mrs Mowbray piqued
There was no need of that replied the doctor but I am come to point out to you one way of getting rid of some of your unpleasant feelings—see and forgive your daughter
Mrs Mowbray started changed colour and exclaimed with quickness Is she in England but added instantly I have no daughter—she who was my child is my most inveterate foe she has involved me in disgrace and misery
With a little of your own help she has replied the doctor Come come my old friend you have both of you something to forget and forgive and the sooner you set about it the better Now do write and tell Adeline who is by this time in London that you forgive her
Never—after having promised me not to hold converse with that villain without my consent Had I no other cause of complaint against her—had she not by her coquettish arts seduced the affections of the man I loved—never never would I forgive her having violated the sacred promise which she gave me
A promise interrupted the doctor which she would never have violated had not you first violated that sacred compact which you entered into at her birth
What mean you sir
I mean that though a parent does not at a childs birth solemnly make a vow to do all in his or her power to promote the happiness of that child—still as he has given it birth he has tacitly bound himself to make it happy This tacit agreement you broke when at the age of forty you regardless of your daughters welfare played the fool and married a pennyless profligate merely because he had a fine person and a handsome leg
Mrs Mowbray was too angry and too agitated to interrupt him and he went on
Well what was the consequence The young fellow very naturally preferred the daughter to the mother and as he could not have her by fair was resolved to have her by foul means and so he—
I beg Dr Norberry interrupted Mrs Mowbray in a faint voice that you would spare the disgusting recital
Well well I will Now do consider the dilemma your child was in she must either elope or by her presence keep alive a criminal passion in her fatherinlaw which you sooner or later must discover and be besides exposed to fresh insults—Well Glenmurray by chance happened to be on the spot just as she escaped from that villanous fellows clutches and—
He is dead Dr Norberry interrupted Mrs Mowbray and you know the old adage Do not speak ill of the dead
And a very silly adage it is I had rather speak ill of the dead than the living for my part but let me go on—Well love taking the name and habit of prudence and filial piety for she thought she consulted your happiness and not her own bade her fly to and with her lover and now there she is owing to the pretty books which you let her read living with him as his mistress and glorying in it as if it was a notable praiseworthy action
And you would have me forgive her
Certainly a fault which both your precepts and conduct occasioned Not but what the girl has been wrong terribly wrong—no one ought to do evil that good may come You had forbidden her to have any intercourse with Glenmurray and she therefore knew that disobeying you would make you unhappy—that was a certainty That fellows persevering in his attempts after the fine rebuff which she had given him was an uncertainty and she ought to have run the risk of it and not committed a positive fault to avoid a possible evil But then hers was a fault which she could not have committed had not you married that—but I forbear And as to her not being married to Glenmurray that is no fault of his and with your consent he will marry your daughter tomorrow morning That ever so good cleanlyhearted a youth should have poked his nose into the filthy mess of eccentric philosophy
Have you done doctor cried Mrs Mowbray haughtily have you said all that Miss Mowbray and you have invented to insult me
Your child send me to insult you—She—Adeline—Why the poor soul came brokenhearted and post haste from France when she heard of your misfortunes to offer her services to console you
She console me—she the first occasion of them—But for her I might still have indulged the charming delusion even if it were delusion that love of me not of my wealth induced the man I doted upon to commit a crime to gain possession of me
Why hastily interrupted the doctor everyone saw that he loved her long before he married you
The storm long gathering now burst forth and rising with the tears high colour and vehement voice of unbridled passion Mrs Mowbray exclaimed raising her arm and clenching her fist as she spoke And it is being the object of that cruel preference which I never never will forgive her
The doctor after ejaculating Whew as much as to say The murder is out instantly took his hat and departed convinced his labour was vain There muttered he as he went down stairs two instances in one day Ah ah—that jealousy is the devil He then slowly walked to the hotel where he expected to find Adeline and Glenmurray
They had arrived about two hours before and Adeline in a frame of mind but ill fitted to bear the disappointment which awaited her For with the sanguine expectations natural to her age she had been castlebuilding as usual and their journey to London had been rendered a very short one by the delightful plans for the future which she had been forming and imparting to Glenmurray
When I consider said she the love which my mother has always shown for me I cannot think it possible that she can persist in renouncing me and however her respect for the prejudices of the world a world which she intended to live in at the time of her unfortunate connexion might make her angry at my acting in defiance of its laws—now that she herself from a sense of injury and disgrace is about to retire from it she will no longer have a motive to act contrary to the dictates of reason herself or to wish me to do so
But your ideas of reason and hers may be so different—
No Our practice may be different but our theory is the same and I have no doubt but that my mother will now forgive and receive us and that living in a romantic solitude being the whole world to each other our days will glide away in uninterrupted felicity
And how shall we employ ourselves said Glenmurray smiling
You shall continue to write for the instruction of your fellowcreatures while my mother and I shall be employed in endeavouring to improve the situation of the poor around us and perhaps in educating our children
Adeline when animated by any prospect of happiness was irresistible she was really Hope herself as described by Collins—
But thou oh Hope with eyes so fair
What was thy delighted measure
and Glenmurray as he listened to her forgot his illness forgot every thing but what Adeline chose to imagine The place of their retreat was fixed upon It was to be a little village near Falmouth the scene of their first happiness The garden was laid out Mrs Mowbrays library planned and so completely were they lost in their charming prospects for the future that every turnpikeman had to wait a longer time than he was accustomed to for his money and the postillion had driven into London in the way to the hotel before Adeline recollected that she was for the first time in a city which she had long wished most ardently to see
They had scarcely taken up their abode at the hotel recommended to them by Dr Norberry when he knocked at the door Adeline from the window had seen him coming and sure as she thought herself to be of her mothers forgiveness she turned sick and faint when the decisive moment was at hand and hurrying out of the room she begged Glenmurray to receive the doctor and apologize for her absence
Glenmurray awaited him with a beating heart He listened to his step on the stairs it was slow and heavy unlike that of a benevolent man coming to communicate good news Glenmurray began immediately to tremble for the peace of Adeline and hastily pouring out a glass of wine was on the point of drinking it when Dr Norberry entered
Give me a glass cried he I want one I am sure to recruit my spirits Glenmurray in silence complied with his desire Come Ill give you a toast cried the doctor Here is—
At this moment Adeline entered She had heard the doctors last words and she thought he was going to drink to the reconciliation of her mother and herself and hastily opening the door she came to receive the good news which awaited her But at sight of her the toast died unfinished on her old friends lips he swallowed down the wine in silence and then taking her hand led her to the sofa
Adelines heart began to die within her and before the doctor after having taken a pinch of snuff and blowed his nose full three times was prepared to speak she was convinced that she had nothing but unwelcome intelligence to receive and she awaited in trembling expectation an answer to a Well sir from Glenmurray spoken in a tone of fearful emotion
No it is not well sir replied the doctor
You have seen my mother said Adeline catching hold of the arm of the sofa for support and in an instant Glenmurray was by her side
I have seen Mrs Mowbray but not your mother for I have seen a woman dead to every graceful impulse of maternal affection and alive only to a selfish sense of rivalship and hatred My poor child God forgive the deluded woman But I declare she detests you
Detests me exclaimed Adeline
Yes she swears that she can never forgive the preference which that vile fellow gave you and I am convinced that she will keep her word and here the doctor turning round saw Adeline lying immoveable in Glenmurrays arms But she did not long remain so and with a frantic scream kept repeating the words She detests me till unable to contend any longer with the acuteness of her feelings she sunk sobbing convulsively exhausted on the bed to which they carried her
My good friend my only friend cried Glenmurray what is to be done Will she scream again think you in that most dreadful and unheardof manner For if she does I must run out of the house
What then she never treated you in this pretty way before heh
Never never Her selfcommand has always been exemplary
Indeed—Lucky fellow My wife and daughters often scream just as loud on very trifling occasions but that scream went to my heart for I well know how to distinguish between the shriek of agony and that of passion
When Adeline recovered she ardently conjured Dr Norberry to procure her an interview with her mother contending that it was absolutely impossible to suppose that the sight of a child so long and tenderly loved should not renew a little of her now dormant affection
But you were her rival as well as her child remember that However you look so ill that now if ever she will forgive you I think therefore I will go back to Mrs Mowbray and while I am there do you come ask for me and follow the servant into the room
I will replied Adeline and leaning on the arm of her lover she slowly followed the doctor to her mothers hotel
CHAPTER XVI
This is the most awful moment of my life said Adeline
And the most anxious one of mine replied Glenmurray If Mrs Mowbray forgives you it will be probably on condition that—
Whatever be the conditions I must accept them said Adeline
True returned Glenmurray wiping the cold dews of weakness from his forehead but no matter—at any rate I should not have been with you long
Adeline with a look of agony pressed the arm she held to her bosom
Glenmurrays heart smote him immediately—he felt he had been ungenerous and while the hectic of a moment passed across his cheek he added But I do not do myself justice in saying so I believe my best chance of recovery is the certainty of your being easy Let me but see you happy and so disinterested is my affection as I have often told you that I shall cheerfully assent to any thing that may ensure your happiness
And can you think answered Adeline that my happiness can be independent of yours Do you not see that I am only trying to prepare my mind for being called upon to surrender my inclinations to my duty
At this moment they found themselves at the door of the hotel Neither of them spoke the moment of trial was come and both were unable to encounter it firmly At last Adeline grasped her lovers hand bade him wait for her at the end of the street and with some degree of firmness she entered the vestibule and asked for Dr Norberry
Dr Norberry meanwhile with the best intentions in the world had but ill prepared Mrs Mowbrays mind for the intended visit He had again talked to her of her daughter and urged the propriety of forgiving her but he had at the same time renewed his animadversions on her own conduct
You know not Dr Norberry observed Mrs Mowbray the pains I took with the education of that girl and I expected to be repaid for it by being styled the happiest as well as best of mothers
And so you would perhaps had you not wished to be a wife as well as mother
No more on that subject sir haughtily returned Mrs Mowbray—Yes—Adeline was indeed my joy my pride
Aye and pride will have a fall and a pretty tumble yours has had to be sure my old friend and it has broke its knees—never to be sound again
At this unpropitious moment a lady to Dr Norberry was announced and Adeline tottered into the room
What strange intrusion is this cried Mrs Mowbray who is this woman
Adeline threw back her veil and falling on her knees stretched out her arms in an attitude of entreaty speak she could not but her countenance was sufficiently expressive of her meaning and her pale sunk cheek spoke forcibly to the heart of her mother—At this moment when a struggle which might have ended favourably for Adeline was taking place in the mind of Mrs Mowbray Dr Norberry injudiciously exclaimed
There—there she is Look at her poor soul There is little fear I think of her ever rivalling you again
At these words Mrs Mowbray darted an angry look at the doctor and desired him to take away that woman who came no doubt instigated by him to insult her
Take her away she said and never let me see her again
O my mother hear me in pity hear me exclaimed Adeline
As it is for the last time I will hear you replied Mrs Mowbray for never no never will I behold you more Hear me vow—
Mother for mercys sake make not a vow so terrible cried Adeline gathering courage from despair and approaching her I have grievously erred and will cheerfully devote the rest of my life to endeavour by the most submissive obedience and attention to atone for my past guilt
Atone for it Impossible for the misery which I owe to you no submission no future conduct can make me amends Away I say your presence conjures up recollections which distract me and I solemnly swear—
Hold hold if you have any mercy in your nature cried Adeline almost frantic this is I feel but too sensibly the most awful and important moment of my life on the result of this interview depends my future happiness or misery Hear me O my mother You who can so easily resolve to tear the heart of a child that adores you hear me reflect that if you vow to abandon me for ever you blast all the happiness and prospects of my life and at nineteen tis hard to be deprived of happiness for ever True I may not long survive the anguish of being renounced by my mother a mother whom I love with even enthusiastic fondness but then could you ever know peace again with the conviction of having caused my death Oh no Save then yourself and me from these miseries by forgiving my past errors and deigning sometimes to see and converse with me
The eager and animated volubility with which Adeline spoke made it impossible to interrupt her even had Mrs Mowbray been inclined to do so but she was not nor when Adeline had done speaking could she find in her heart to break silence
It was evident to Dr Norberry that Mrs Mowbrays countenance expressed a degree of softness which augured well for her daughter and as if conscious that it did so she covered her face suddenly with her handkerchief
Now then is the time thought the doctor Go nearer her my child said he in a low voice to Adeline embrace her knees
Adeline rose and approached Mrs Mowbray she seized her hand she pressed it to her lips Mrs Mowbrays bosom heaved violently she almost returned the pressure of Adelines hand
Victory victory muttered the doctor to himself cutting a caper behind Mrs Mowbrays chair
Mrs Mowbray took the handkerchief from her face
My mother my dear mother look on me look on me with kindness only one moment and only say that you do not hate me
Mrs Mowbray turned round and fixed her eyes on Adeline with a look of kindness and Adelines began to sparkle with delight when as she threw back her cloak which hanging over her arm embarrassed her as she knelt to embrace her mothers knees Mrs Mowbrays eyes glanced from her face to her shape
In an instant the fierceness of her look returned Shame to thy race disgrace to thy family she exclaimed spurning her kneeling child from her and canst thou while conscious of carrying in thy bosom the proof of thy infamy dare to solicit and expect my pardon—Hence ere I load thee with maledictions
Adeline wrapped her cloak round her and sunk terrified and desponding to the ground
Why what a ridiculous caprice is this cried the doctor Is it a greater crime to be in a family way than to live with a man as his mistress—You knew your daughter had done the last therefore it is nonsense to be so affected at the former—Come come forget and forgive
Never and if you do not leave the house with her this moment I will not stay in it My injuries are so great that they cannot admit forgiveness
What a horrible unforgiving spirit yours must be cried Dr Norberry and after all I tell you again that Adeline has something to forgive and forget too and she sets you an example of Christian charity in coming hither to console and comfort you poor forsaken woman as you are
Forsaken exclaimed Mrs Mowbray aye why and for whom was I forsaken Theres the pang and yet you wonder that I cannot instantly forgive and receive the woman who injured me where I was most vulnerable
O my mother cried Adeline almost indignantly and can that wretch though dead still have power to influence my fate in this dreadful manner and can you still regret the loss of the affection of that man whose addresses were a disgrace to you
At these unguarded words and too just reproaches Mrs Mowbray lost all selfcommand and in a voice almost inarticulate with rage exclaimed—I loved that wretch as you are pleased to call him I gloried in the addresses which you are pleased to call my disgrace But he loved you—he left me for you—and on your account he made me endure the pangs of being forsaken and despised by the man whom I adored Then mark my words I solemnly swear dropping on her knees as she spoke by all my hopes of happiness hereafter that until you shall have experienced the anguish of having lost the man whom you adore till you shall have been as wretched in love and as disgraced in the eye of the world as I have been I never will see you more or pardon your many sins against me—No—not even were you on your deathbed Yet no I am wrong there—Yes on your deathbed she added her voice faltering as she spoke and passion giving way in a degree to the dictates of returning nature—Yes there there I should—I should forgive you
Then I feel that you will forgive me soon faintly articulated Adeline sinking on the ground while Mrs Mowbray was leaving the room and Dr Norberry was standing motionless with horror from the rash oath which he had just heard But Adelines fall aroused him from his stupor
For pitys sake do not go and leave your daughter dying cried he your vow does not forbid you to continue to see her now Mrs Mowbray turned back and started with horror at beholding the countenance of Adeline
Is she really dying cried she eagerly and have I killed her These words spoken in a faltering tone and with a look of anxiety seemed to recall the fleeting spirit of Adeline She looked up at her mother a sort of smile quivered on her lip and faintly articulating I am better she burst into a convulsive flood of tears and laid her head on the bosom of her compassionate friend
She will do now cried he exultingly to Mrs Mowbray You need alarm yourself no longer
But alarm was perhaps a feeling of enjoyment to the sensations which then took possession of Mrs Mowbray The apparent danger of Adeline had awakened her long dormant tenderness but she had just bound herself by an oath not to give way to it except under circumstances the most unwelcome and affecting and had therefore embittered her future days with remorse and unavailing regret—For some minutes she stood looking wildly and mournfully on Adeline longing to clasp her to her bosom and pronounce her pardon but not daring to violate her oath At length I cannot bear this torment she exclaimed and rushed out of the room and when in another apartment she recollected and uttered a scream of agony as she did so that she had seen Adeline probably for the last time for voluntarily she was now to see her no more
The same recollections occurred to Adeline and as the door closed on her mother she raised herself up and looked eagerly to catch the last glimpse of her gown as the door shut it from her sight Let us go away directly now said she for the air of this room is not good for me
The doctor affected beyond measure at the expression of quiet despair with which she spoke went out to order a coach and Adeline instantly rose and kissed with fond devotion the chair on which her mother had sat Suddenly she heard a deep sigh—it came from the next room—perhaps it came from her mother perhaps she could still see her again and with cautious step she knelt down and looked through the keyhole of the door
She did see her mother once more Mrs Mowbray was lying on the bed beating the ground with her foot and sighing as if her heart would break
O that I dare go in to her said Adeline to herself but I can at least bid her farewell here She then put her mouth to the aperture and exclaimed Mother dearest mother since we meet now for the last time— Mrs Mowbray started from the bed let me thank you for all the affection all the kindness which you lavished on me during eighteen happy years I shall never cease to love and pray for you Mrs Mowbray sobbed aloud Perhaps you will some day or other think you have been harsh to me and may wish that you had not taken so cruel a vow Mrs Mowbray beat her breast in agony the moment of repentance was already come It may therefore be a comfort to you at such moments to know that I sincerely and from the bottom of my heart forgive this rash action—and now my dearest mother hear my parting prayers for your happiness
At this moment a noise in the next room convinced Adeline that her mother had fallen down in a fainting fit and the doctor entered the room
What have I done she exclaimed Go to her this instant—He obeyed Raising up Mrs Mowbray in his arms he laid her on the bed while Adeline bent over her in silent anguish with all the sorrow of filial anxiety But when the remedies which Dr Norberry administered began to take effect she exclaimed For the last time Cruel but most dear mother and pressed her head to her bosom and kissed her pale lips with almost frantic emotion
Mrs Mowbray opened her eyes they met those of Adeline and instantly closed again
She has looked at me for the last time said Adeline and now this one kiss my mother and farewell for ever So saying she rushed out of the room and did not stop till she reached the coach which Glenmurray had called and springing into it was received into the arms of Glenmurray
You are my all now said she You have long been mine replied he but respecting the anguish and disappointment depicted on her countenance he forbore to ask for an explanation and resting her pale cheek on his bosom they reached the inn in silence
Adeline had walked up and down the room a number of times had as often looked out of the window before Dr Norberry whom she had been anxiously expecting and looking for made his appearance Thank God you are come at last said she seizing his hand as he entered
I left Mrs Mowbray replied he much better both in mind and body
A blessed hearing replied Adeline
And you my child how are you asked the doctor affectionately
I know not yet answered Adeline mournfully as yet I am stunned by the blow which I have received but pray tell me what has passed between you and my mother since we left the hotel
What has passed cried Dr Norberry starting from his chair taking two hasty strides across the room pulling up the cape of his coat and muttering an oath between his shut teeth—Why this passed—The deluded woman renounced her daughter and her friend her old and faithful friend has renounced her
Oh my poor mother exclaimed Adeline
Girl girl dont be foolish replied the doctor keep your pity for more deserving objects and as the wisest thing you can do endeavour to forget your mother
Forget her Never
Well well you will be wiser in time and now you shall hear all that passed When she recovered entirely and found that you were gone she gave way to an agony of sorrow such as I never before witnessed for I believe that I never beheld before the agony of remorse
My poor mother cried Adeline again bursting into tears
What again exclaimed the doctor Adeline motioned to him to go on and he continued At sight of this I was weak enough to pity her and with the greatest simplicity I told her that I was glad to see that she felt penitent for her conduct since penitence paved the way to amendment when to my great surprise all the vanished fierceness and haughtiness of her look returned and she told me that so far from repenting she approved of her conduct and that remorse had no share in her sorrow that she wept from consciousness of misery inflicted by the faults of others not her own
Oh Dr Norberry cried Adeline reproachfully I doubt by awakening her pride you destroyed the tenderness returning towards me
May be so However so much the better for anger is a less painful state of mind to endure than that of remorse and while she thinks herself only injured and aggrieved she will be less unhappy
Then continued Adeline in a faltering voice I care not how long she hates me
Dr Norberry looked at Adeline a moment with tears in his eyes and evidently gulped down a rising sob Good child good child he at length articulated But shell forget and forgive all in time I do not doubt
Impossible remember her oath
And do you really suppose that she will think herself bound to keep so silly and rash an oath an oath made in the heat of passion
Undoubtedly I do and I know that were she to break it she would never be otherwise than wretched all her life after Therefore unless Glenmurray forsakes me she added trying to smile archly as she spoke and this I am not happy enough to expect I look on our separation in this world to be eternal
You do—Then poor devil how miserable she will be when her present resentment shall subside Well when that time comes I may perhaps see her again added the doctor gulping again
Heaven bless you for that intention cried Adeline But how could you ever have the heart to renounce her
Girl you are almost as provoking as your mother Why how could I have the heart to do otherwise when she whitewashed herself and blackened you To be sure it did cause me a twinge or two to do it and had she been an iota less haughty I should have turned back and said Kiss and be friends again But she seemed so provokingly anxious to get rid of me and waved me with her hand to the door in such a tragedy queen sort of a manner that having told her very civilly to go to the devil her own way I gulped down a sort of a tender choking in my throat and made as rapid an exit as possible And now another trial awaits me I came to town at some inconvenience to myself to try to do you service I have failed and I have now no further business here so we must part and I know not when we shall meet again For I rarely leave home and may not see you again for years
Indeed exclaimed Adeline Surely looking at Glenmurray we might settle in Dr Norberrys neighbourhood
Glenmurray said nothing but looked at the doctor who seemed confused and was silent
Look ye my dear girl said he at length the idea of your settling near me occurred to me but— here he took two hasty strides across the room—in short thats an impossible thing so I beg you to think no more about it If indeed you mean to marry Mr Glenmurray—
Which I shall not do replied Adeline coldly
There again now cried the doctor pettishly you in your way are quite as obstinate and ridiculous as your mother However I hope you will know better in time But it grows late—tis time I should be in my chaise and I hear it driving up Mr Glenmurray continued he in an altered tone of voice to your care and your tenderness I leave this poor child and zounds man if you will but burn your books before her face and swear they are stuff why sdeath I say I would come to town on purpose to do you homage—Adeline my child God bless you I have loved you from your infancy and I wish from my soul that I left you in a better situation But you will write to me heh
Undoubtedly
Well one kiss—dont be jealous Glenmurray Your hand man—Woons what a hand My dear fellow take care of yourself for that poor childs sake get the advice which I recommended and good air A rising sob interrupted him—he hemmed it off and ran into his chaise
CHAPTER XVII
Now then said Adeline her tears dropping fast as she spoke now then we are alone in the world henceforward we must be all to each other
Is the idea a painful one Adeline replied Glenmurray reproachfully
Not so returned Adeline Still I cant yet forget that I had a mother and a kind one too
And may have again
Impossible—there is a vow in heaven against it No—My plans for future happiness must be laid unmindful and independent of her They must have you and your happiness for their sole object I must live for you alone and you added she in a faltering voice must live for me
I will live as long as I can replied Glenmurray sighing and as one step towards it I shall keep early hours so to rest dear Adeline and let us forget our sorrows as soon as possible
The next morning Adelines and Glenmurrays first care was to determine on their future residence It was desirable that it should be at a sufficient distance from London to deserve the name and have the conveniences of a country abode yet sufficiently near it for Glenmurray to have the advice of a London physician if necessary
Suppose we fix at Richmond said Glenmurray and Adeline to whom the idea of dwelling on a spot at once so classical and beautiful was most welcome joyfully consented and in a few days they were settled there in a pleasant but expensive lodging
But here as when abroad Glenmurray occasionally saw old acquaintances many of whom were willing to renew their intercourse with him for the sake of being introduced to Adeline and who from a knowledge of her situation presumed to pay her that sort of homage which though not understood by her gave pangs unutterable to the delicate mind of Glenmurray Were she my wife they dared not pay her such marked attention said he to himself and again as delicately as he could he urged Adeline to sacrifice her principles to the prejudices of society
I thought replied Adeline gravely that as we lived for each other we might act independent of society and serve it by our example even against its will
Glenmurray was silent—He did not like to own how painful and mischievous he found in practice the principles which he admired in theory—and Adeline continued
Believe me Glenmurray ours is the very situation calculated to urge us on in the pursuit of truth We are answerable to no one for our conduct and we can make any experiments in morals that we choose I am wholly at a loss to comprehend why you persist in urging me to marry you Take care my dear Glenmurray—the high respect I bear your character was shaken a little by your fighting a duel in defiance of your principles and your eagerness to marry in further defiance of them may weaken my esteem if not my love
Adeline smiled as she said this but Glenmurray thought she spoke more in earnest than she was willing to allow and alarmed at the threat he only answered You know it is for your sake merely that I speak and dropped the subject secretly resolving however that he would not walk with Adeline in the fashionable promenades at the hours commonly spent there by the beau monde
But in spite of this precaution they could not escape the assiduities of some gay men of fashion who knew Glenmurray and admired his companion and Adeline at length suspected that Glenmurray was jealous But in this she wronged him it was not the attention paid her but the nature of it that disturbed him Nor is it to be wondered at that Adeline herself was eager to avoid the public walks when it is known that one of her admirers at Richmond was the Colonel Mordaunt whom she had become acquainted with at Bath
Colonel Mordaunt curst with every granted prayer was just beginning to feel the tedium of life when he saw Adeline unexpectedly at Richmond and though he felt shocked at first at beholding her in so different a situation from that in which he had first beheld her still that very situation by holding forth to him a prospect of being favoured by her in his turn revived his admiration with more than its original violence and he resolved to be if possible the lover of Adeline after Glenmurray should have fallen a victim as he had no doubt but he would to his dangerous illness
But the opportunities which he had of seeing her suddenly ceased She no longer frequented the public walks and him though he suspected it not she most studiously avoided for she could not bear to behold the alteration in his manner when be addressed her an alteration perhaps unknown to himself True it was not insulting but Adeline who had admired him too much at Bath not to have examined with minute attention the almost timid expression of his countenance and the respectfulness of his manner when he addressed her shrunk abashed from the ardent and impassioned expression with which he now met her—an expression which Adeline used to call looking like Sir Patrick and which indicated even to her inexperience that the admiration which he then felt was of a nature less pure and flattering than the one which she excited before and though in her own eyes she appeared as worthy of respect as ever she was forced to own even to herself that persons in general would be of a contrary opinion
But in vain did she resolve to walk very early in a morning only being fully persuaded that she should then meet with no one Colonel Mordaunt was as wakeful as she was and being convinced that she walked during some part of the day and probably early in a morning he resolved to watch near the door of her lodgings in hopes to obtain an hours conversation with her The consequence was that he saw Adeline one morning walk pensively alone down the shady road that leads from the terrace to Petersham
This opportunity was not to be overlooked and he overtook and accosted her with such an expression of pleasure on his countenance as was sufficient to alarm the now suspicious delicacy of Adeline and conscious as she was that Glenmurray beheld Colonel Mordaunts attentions with pain a deep blush overspread her cheek at his approach while her eyes were timidly cast down
Colonel Mordaunt saw her emotion and attributed it to a cause flattering to his vanity it even encouraged him to seize her hand and while he openly congratulated himself on his good fortune in meeting her alone he presumed to press her hand to his lips Adeline indignantly withdrew it and replied very coldly to his inquiries concerning her health
But where have you hidden yourself lately cried he—O Miss Mowbray loveliest and I may add most beloved of women how have I longed to see you alone and pour out my whole soul to you
Adeline answered this rhapsody by a look of astonishment only—being silent from disgust and consternation—while involuntarily she quickened her pace as if wishing to avoid him
O hear me and hear me patiently he resumed You must have noticed the effect which your charms produced on me at Bath and may I dare to add that my attentions then did not seem displeasing to you
Sir interrupted Adeline sighing deeply my situation is now changed and—
It is so I thank Fortune that it is so replied Colonel Mordaunt and I am happy to say it is changed by no crime of mine Here Adeline started and turned pale But I were unworthy all chance of happiness were I to pass by the seeming opportunity of being blest which the alteration to which you allude holds forth to me
Here he paused as if in embarrassment but Adeline was unable to interrupt him
Miss Mowbray he at length continued I am told that you are not on good terms with your mother nay I have heard that she has renounced you may I presume to ask if this be true
It is answered Adeline trembling with emotion
Then as before long it is probable that you will be without—without a protector— Adeline turned round and fixed her eyes wildly upon him To be sure continued he avoiding her steadfast gaze I could wish to call you mine this moment but unhappy as you appear to be in your present situation I know unlike many women circumstanced as you are you are too generous and nobleminded to be capable of forsaking in his last illness the man whom in his happier moments you have honoured with your love As he said this Adeline her lips parched with agitation and breathing short caught hold of his arm and pressing her cold hand he went on Therefore I will not venture even to wish to be honoured with a kind look from you till Mr Glenmurray is removed to a happier world But then dearest of women you whom I loved without hope of possessing you and whom now I dote upon to madness I conjure you to admit my visits and let my attentions prevail on you to accept my protection and allow me to devote the remainder of my days to love and you
Merciful Heaven exclaimed Adeline clasping her hands together to what insults am I reserved
Insults echoed Colonel Mordaunt
Yes Sir replied Adeline you have insulted me grossly insulted me and know not the woman whom you have tortured to the very soul
Hear me hear me Miss Mowbray exclaimed Colonel Mordaunt almost as much agitated as herself by heaven I meant not to insult you and perhaps I—perhaps I have been misinformed—No Yes yes it must be so your indignation proves that I have—You are no doubt—and on my knees I implore your pardon—you are the wife of Mr Glenmurray
And suppose I am not his wife cried Adeline is it then given to a wife only to be secure from being insulted by offers horrible to the delicacy and wounding to the sensibility like those which I have heard from you But before Colonel Mordaunt could reply Adelines thoughts had reverted to what he had said of Glenmurrays certain danger and unable to bear this confirmation of her fears with the speed of phrensy she ran towards home and did not stop till she was in sight of her lodging and the still closed curtain of her apartment met her view
He is still sleeping then she exclaimed and I have time to recover myself and endeavour to hide from him the emotion of which I could not tell the reason So saying she softly entered the house and by the time Glenmurray rose she had regained her composure Still there was a look of anxiety on her fine countenance which could not escape the penetrating eye of love
Why are you so grave this morning said Glenmurray as Adeline seated herself at the breakfast table—I feel much better and more cheerful today
But are you indeed better replied Adeline fixing her tearful eyes on him
Or I much deceive myself said Glenmurray
Thank Heaven devoutly replied Adeline I thought—I thought— Here tears choked her utterance and Glenmurray drew from her a confession of her anxious fears for him though she prudently resolved not to agitate him by telling him of the rencontre with Colonel Mordaunt
But when the continued assurances of Glenmurray that he was better and the animation of his countenance had in a degree removed her fears for his life she had leisure to revert to another source of uneasiness and to dwell on the insult which she had experienced from Colonel Mordaunts offer of protection
How strange and irrational thought Adeline are the prejudices of society Because an idle ceremony has not been muttered over me at the altar I am liable to be thought a woman of vicious inclinations and to be exposed to the most daring insults
As these reflections occurred to her she could scarcely help regretting that her principles would not allow her delicacy and virtue to be placed under the sacred shelter bestowed by that ceremony which she was pleased to call idle And she was not long without experiencing still further hardships from the situation in which she had persisted so obstinately to remain Their establishment consisted of a footman and a maid servant but the latter had of late been so remiss in the performance of her duties and so impertinent when reproved for her faults that Adeline was obliged to give her warning
Warning indeed replied the girl a mighty hardship truly I can promise you I did not mean to stay long it is no such favour to live with a kept miss and if you come to that I think I am as good as you
Shocked surprised and unable to answer Adeline took refuge in her room Never before had she been accosted by her inferiors without respectful attention and now owing to her situation even a servantmaid thought herself authorised to insult her and to raise herself to her level
But surely said Adeline mentally I ought to reason with her and try to convince her that I am in reality as virtuous as if I were Glenmurrays wife instead of his mistress
Accordingly she went back into the kitchen but her resolution failed her when she found the footman there listening with a broad grin on his countenance to the relation which Mary was giving him of the fine trimming which she had given madam
Scarcely did the presence of Adeline interrupt or restrain her but at last she turned round and said And pray have you got anything to say to me
Nothing more now meekly replied Adeline unless you will follow me to my chamber
With all my heart cried the girl and Adeline returned to her own room
I wish Mary to set you right said Adeline with respect to my situation You called me I think a kept miss and seemed to think ill of me
Why to be sure maam replied Mary a little alarmed—every body says you are a kept lady and so I made no bones of saying so but I am sure if so be you are not so why I ax pardon
But what do you mean by the term kept lady
Why a lady who lives with a man without being married to him I take it and that I take to be your case aint it I pray
Adeline blushed and was silent—it certainly was her case However she took courage and went on
But mistresses or kept ladies in general are women of bad character and would live with any man but I never loved nor ever shall love any man but Mr Glenmurray I look on myself as his wife in the sight of God nor will I quit him till death shall separate us
Then if so be that you dont want to change I think you might as well be married to him
Adeline was again silent for a moment but continued—
Mr Glenmurray would marry me tomorrow if I chose
Indeed Well if master is inclined to make an honest woman of you you had better take him at his word I think
Gracious heaven cried Adeline what an expression Why will you persist to confound me with those deluded women who are victims of their own weakness
As to that replied Mary you talk too fine for me but a fact is a fact—are you or are you not my masters wife
I am not
Why then you are his mistress and a kept lady to all intents and purposes so what signifies argufying the matter I lived with a kept madam before and she was as good as you for aught I know
Adeline shocked and disappointed told her she might leave the room
I am going pertly answered Mary and to seek for a place but I must beg that you will not own you are no better than you should be when a lady comes to ask my character for then perhaps I should not get any one to take me I shall call you Mrs Glenmurray
But I shall not call myself so replied Adeline I will not say what is not true on any account
There now theres spite and yet you pretend to call yourself a gentlewoman and to be better than other kept ladies Why you are not worthy to tie the shoestrings of my last mistress—she did not mind telling a lie rather than lose a poor servant a place and she called herself a married woman rather than hurt me
Neither she nor you then replied Adeline gravely were sensible of what great importance a strict adherence to veracity is to the interests of society I am—and for the sake of mankind I will always tell the truth
You had better tell one innocent lie for mine replied the girl pertly I dare to say the world will neither know nor care anything about it and I can tell you I shall expect you will
So saying she shut the door with violence leaving Adeline mournfully musing on the distress attending on her situation and even disposed to question the propriety of remaining in it
The inquietude of her mind as usual showed itself in her countenance and involved her in another difficulty to make Glenmurray uneasy by an avowal of what had passed between her and Mary was impossible yet how could she conceal it from him And while she was deliberating on this point Glenmurray entered the room and tenderly inquired what had so evidently disturbed her
Nothing of any consequence she faltered out and burst into tears
Could nothing of consequence produce such emotion answered Glenmurray
But I am ashamed to own the cause of my uneasiness
Ashamed to own it to me Adeline To be sure you have a great deal to fear from my severity said he faintly smiling
Adeline for a moment resolved to tell him the whole truth but fearful of throwing him into a degree of agitation hurtful to his weak frame she who had the moment before so nobly supported the necessity of a strict adherence to truth condescended to equivocate and evade and turning away her head while a conscious blush overspread her cheek she replied You know that I look forward with anxiety and uneasiness to the time of my approaching confinement
Glenmurray believed her and overcome by some painful feelings which fears for himself and anxiety for her occasioned him he silently pressed her to his bosom and choked with contending emotions returned to his own apartment
And I have stooped to the meanness of disguising the truth cried Adeline clasping her hands convulsively together surely surely there must be something radically wrong in a situation which exposes one to such a variety of degradations
Mary meanwhile had gone in search of a place and having found the lady to whom she had been advised to offer herself at home she returned to tell Adeline that Mrs Pemberton would call in half an hour to inquire her character The halfhour an anxious one to Adeline having elapsed a lady knocked at the door and inquired in Adelines hearing for Mrs Glenmurray
Tell the lady cried Adeline immediately from the top of the staircase that Miss Mowbray will wait on her directly The footman obeyed and Mrs Pemberton was ushered into the parlour and now for the first time in her life Adeline trembled to approach a stranger for the first time she was going to appear before a fellowcreature conscious she was become an object of scorn and though an enthusiast for virtue would be considered as a votary of vice But it was a mortification which she must submit to undergo and hastily throwing a large shawl over her shoulders to hide her figure as much as possible with a trembling hand she opened the door and found herself in the dreaded presence of Mrs Pemberton
Nor was she at all reassured when she found that lady dressed in the neat modest garb of a strict Quaker—a garb which creates an immediate idea in the mind of more than common rigidness of principles and sanctity of conduct in the wearer of it Adeline curtsied in silence
Mrs Pemberton bowed her head courteously then with a countenance of great sweetness and a voice calculated to inspire confidence said I believe thy name is Mowbray but I came to see Mrs Glenmurray and as on these occasions I always wish to confer with the principal wouldst thou if it be not inconvenient ask the mistress of Mary to let me see her
I am myself the mistress of Mary replied Adeline in a faint voice
I ask thine excuse answered Mrs Pemberton reseating herself as thou art Mrs Glenmurray thou art the person I wanted to see
Here Adeline changed colour overcome with the consciousness that she ought to undeceive her and the sense of the difficulty of doing so
But thou art very pale and seemest uneasy continued the gentle Quaker—I hope thy husband is not worse
Mr Glenmurray but not my husband said Adeline is better today
Art thou not married asked Mrs Pemberton with quickness
I am not
And yet thou livest with the gentleman I named and art the person whom Mary called Mrs Glenmurray
I am replied Adeline her paleness yielding to a deep crimson and her eyes filling with tears
Mrs Pemberton sat for a minute in silence then rising with an air of cold dignity I fear thy servant is not likely to suit me she observed and I will not detain thee any longer
She can be an excellent servant faltered out Adeline
Very likely—but there are objections So saying she reached the door but as she passed Adeline she stopped interested and affected by the mournful expression of her countenance and the visible effort she made to retain her tears
Adeline saw and felt humbled at the compassion which her countenance expressed to be an object of pity was as mortifying as to be an object of scorn and she turned her eyes on Mrs Pemberton with a look of proud indignation but they met those of Mrs Pemberton fixed on her with a look of such benevolence that her anger was instantly subdued and it occurred to her that she might make the benevolent compassion visible in Mrs Pembertons countenance serviceable to her discarded servant
Stay madam she cried as Mrs Pemberton was about to leave the room allow me a moments conversation with you
Mrs Pemberton with an eagerness which she suddenly endeavoured to check returned to her seat
I suspect said Adeline gathering courage from the conscious kindness of her motive that your objection to take Mary Warner into your service proceeds wholly from the situation of her present mistress
Thou judgest rightly was Mrs Pembertons answer
Nor do I wonder continued Adeline that you make this objection when I consider the present prejudices of society
Prejudices softly exclaimed the benevolent Quaker
Adeline faintly smiled and went on—But surely you will allow that in a family quiet and secluded as ours and in daily contemplation of an union uninterrupted faithful and virtuous and possessing all the sacredness of marriage though without the name it is not likely that the young woman in question should have imbibed any vicious habits or principles
But in contemplating thy union itself she has lived in the contemplation of vice and thou wilt own that by having given it an air of respectability thou hast only made it more dangerous
On this point cried Adeline I see we must disagree—I shall therefore without further preamble inform you madam that Mary aware of the difficulty of procuring a service if it were known that she had lived with a kept mistress as the phrase is here an indignant blush overspread the face of Adeline desired me to call myself the wife of Glenmurray but this from my abhorrence of all falsehood I peremptorily refused
And thou didst well exclaimed Mrs Pemberton and I respect thy resolution
But my sincerity will I fear prevent the poor girls obtaining other reputable places and I alas am not rich enough to make her amends for the injury which my conscience forces me to do her But if you madam could be prevailed upon to take her into your family even for a short time only to wipe away the disgrace which her living with me has brought upon her—
Why can she not remain with thee asked Mrs Pemberton hastily
Because she neglected her duty and when reproved for it replied in very injurious language
Presuming probably on thy way of life
I must confess that she has reproached me with it
And this was all her fault
It was—she can be an excellent servant
Thou hast said enough thy conscience shall not have the additional burthen to bear of having deprived a poor girl of her maintenance—I will take her
A thousand thanks to you replied Adeline you have removed a weight off my mind but my conscience has none to bear
No returned Mrs Pemberton dost thou deem thy conduct blameless in the eyes of that Being whom thou hast just blessed
As far as my connexion with Mr Glenmurray is concerned I do
Indeed
Nay doubt me not—believe me that I never wantonly violate the truth and that even an evasion which I for the first time in my life was guilty of today has given me a pang to which I will not again expose myself
And yet inconsistent beings as we are cried Mrs Pemberton straining at a gnat and swallowing a camel what is the guilt of the evasion which weighs on thy mind compared to that of living as thou dost in an illicit commerce Surely surely thine heart accuses thee for thy face bespeaks uneasiness and thou wilt listen to the whispers of penitence and leave ere long the man who has betrayed thee
The man who has betrayed me Mr Glenmurray is no betrayer—he is one of the best of human beings No madam if I had acceded to his wishes I should long ago have been his wife but from a conviction of the folly of marriage I have preferred living with him without the performance of a ceremony which in the eye of reason can confer neither honour nor happiness
Poor thing exclaimed Mrs Pemberton rising as she spoke I understand thee now—Thou art one of the enlightened as they call themselves—Thou art one of those wise in their own conceit who disregarding the customs of ages and the dictates of experience set up their own opinions against the hallowed institutions of men and the will of the Most High
Can you blame me interrupted Adeline for acting according to what I think right
But hast thou well studied the subject on which thou hast decided Yet alas to thee how vain must be the voice of admonition she continued her countenance kindling into strong expression as she spoke—From the poor victim of passion and persuasion penitence and amendment might be rationally expected and she from the path of frailty might turn again to that of virtue but for one like thee glorying in thine iniquity and erring not from the too tender heart but the vainglorious head—for thee there is I fear no blessed return to the right way and I who would have tarried with thee even in the house of sin to have reclaimed thee penitent now hasten from thee and for ever—firm as thou art in guilt
As she said this she reached the door while Adeline affected by her emotion and distressed by her language stood silent and almost abashed before her
But with her hand on the lock she turned round and in a gentler voice said Yet not even against a wilful offender like thee should one gate that may lead to amendment be shut Thy situation and thy fortunes may soon be greatly changed affliction may subdue thy pride and the counsel of a friend of thine own sex might then sound sweetly in thine ears Should that time come I will be that friend I am now about to set off for Lisbon with a very dear friend about whom I feel as solicitous as thou about thy Glenmurray and there I shall remain some time Here then is my address and if thou shouldest want my advice or assistance write to me and be assured that Rachel Pemberton will try to forget thy errors in thy distresses
So saying she left the room but returned again before Adeline had recovered herself from the various emotions which she had experienced during her address to ask her Christian name But when Adeline replied My name is Adeline Mowbray Mrs Pemberton started and eagerly exclaimed Art thou Adeline Mowbray of Gloucestershire—the young heiress as she was called of Rosevalley
I was once replied Adeline sinking back into a chair Adeline Mowbray of Rosevalley
Mrs Pemberton for a few minutes gazed on her in mournful silence And art thou she cried Adeline Mowbray Art thou that courteous blooming blessed being for every tongue that I heard name thee blessed thee whom I saw only three years ago bounding over thy native hills all grace and joy and innocence
Adeline tried to speak but her voice failed her
Art thou she continued Mrs Pemberton whom I saw also leaning from the window of her mothers mansion and inquiring with the countenance of a pitying angel concerning the health of a wan labourer who limped past the door
Adeline hid her face with her hands
Mrs Pemberton went on in a lower tone of voice—I came with some companions to see thy mothers grounds and to hear the nightingales in her groves but here Mrs Pembertons voice faltered I have seen a sight far beyond that of the proudest mansion said I to those who asked me of thy mothers seat I have heard what was sweeter to my ear than the voice of the nightingale I have seen a blooming girl nursed in idleness and prosperity yet active in the discharge of every Christian duty and I have heard her speak in the soothing accents of kindness and of pity while her name was followed by blessings and parents prayed to have a child like her O lost unhappy girl such was Adeline Mowbray and often very often has thy graceful image recurred to my remembrance but how art thou changed Where is the open eye of happiness where is the bloom that spoke a heart at peace with itself I repeat it and I repeat it with agony Father of mercies is this thy Adeline Mowbray
Here overcome with emotion Mrs Pemberton paused but Adeline could not break silence she rose she stretched out her hand as if going to speak but her utterance failed her and again she sunk on a chair
It was thine resumed Mrs Pemberton in a faint and broken voice to diffuse happiness around thee and to enjoy wealth unhated because thy hand dispensed nobly the riches which it had received bounteously when the ear heard thee then it blessed thee when the eye saw thee it gave witness to thee and yet—
Here again she paused and raised her fine eyes to heaven for a few minutes as if in prayer then pressing Adelines hand with an almost convulsive grasp she drew her bonnet over her face as if eager to hide the emotion which she was unable to subdue and suddenly left the house while Adeline stunned and overwhelmed by the striking contrast which Mrs Pemberton had drawn between her past and present situation remained for some minutes motionless on her seat a prey to a variety of feelings which she dared not venture to analyse
But amidst the variety of her feelings Adeline soon found that sorrow sorrow of the bitterest kind was uppermost Mrs Pemberton had said that she was about to be visited by affliction—alluding there was no doubt to the probable death of Glenmurray—And was his fate so certain that it was the theme of conversation at Richmond Were only her eyes blind to the certainty of his danger
On these ideas did Adeline chiefly dwell after the departure of her monitress and in an agony unspeakable she entered the room where Glenmurray was sitting in order to look at him and form her own judgment on a subject of such importance But alas she found him with the brilliant deceitful appearance that attends his complaint—a bloom resembling health on his cheek and a brightness in his eye rivalling that of the undimmed lustre of youth Surprised delighted and overcome by these appearances which her inexperience rendered her incapable of appreciating justly Adeline threw herself on the sofa by him and as she pressed her cold cheek to his glowing one her tearful eye was raised to heaven with an expression of devout thankfulness
Mrs Pemberton paid you a long visit said Glenmurray and I thought once by the elevated tone of her voice that she was preaching to you
I believe she was cheerfully replied Adeline and now I have a confession to make the season of reserve shall be over and I will tell you all the adventures of this day without evasion
Aye I thought you were not ingenuous with me this morning replied Glenmurray but better late than never
Adeline then told him all that had passed between her and Mary and Mrs Pemberton and concluded with saying But the surety of your better health which your looks give me has dissipated every uneasiness and if you are but spared to me sorrow cannot reach me and I despise the censure of the ignorant and the prejudiced The world approve What is the world to me—
The conscious mind is its own awful world
Glenmurray sighed deeply as she concluded her narration
I have only one request to make said he—Never let that Mary come into my presence again and be sure to take care of Mrs Pembertons address
Adeline promised that both his requests should be attended to Mary was paid her wages and dismissed immediately and a girl being hired to supply her place the ménage went on quietly again
But a new mortification awaited Glenmurray and Adeline In spite of Glenmurrays eccentricities and opinions he was still remembered with interest by some of the female part of his family and two of his cousins more remarkable for their beauty than their virtue hearing that he was at Richmond made known to him their intention of paying him a morning visit on their way to their countryseat in the neighbourhood
Most unwelcome visitors indeed cried Glenmurray throwing the letter down I will write to them and forbid them to come
Thats impossible replied Adeline for by this time they must be on the road if you look at the date of the letter besides I wish you to receive them I should like to see any relations or friends of yours especially those who have liberality of sentiment enough to esteem you as you deserve
You—you see them exclaimed Glenmurray pacing the room impatiently O Adeline that is impossible
I understand you replied Adeline changing colour they will not deem me worthy forcing a smile to be introduced to them
And therefore would I forbid their coming I cannot bear to exclude you from my presence in order that I may receive them No when they arrive I will send them word that I am unable to see them
While they will attribute the refusal to the influence of the creature who lives with you No Glenmurray for my sake I must insist on your not being denied to them and believe me I should consider myself as unworthy to be the choice of your heart if I were not able to bear with firmness a mortification like that which awaits me
But you allow it to be a mortification
Yes it is mortifying to a woman who knows herself to be virtuous and is an idolater of virtue to pay the penalty of vice and be thought unworthy to associate with the relations of the man whom she loves
They shall not come I protest exclaimed Glenmurray
But Adeline was resolute and she carried her point Soon after this conversation the ladies arrived and Adeline shut herself up in her own apartment where she gave way to no very pleasant reflections Nor was she entirely satisfied with Glenmurrays conduct—true he had earnestly and sincerely wished to refuse to see his unexpected and unwelcome guests but he had never once expressed a desire of combating their prejudices for Adelines sake and an intention of requesting that she might be introduced to them but as any common man would have done under similar circumstances he was contented to do homage to things as they are without an effort to resist the prejudice to which he was superior
Alas cried Adeline when can we hope to see society enlightened and improved when even those who see and strive to amend its faults in theory in practice tamely submit to the trammels which it imposes
An hour a tedious hour to Adeline having elapsed Glenmurrays visitors departed and by the disappointment that Adeline experienced at hearing the door close on them she felt that she had had a secret hope of being summoned to be presented to them and with a bitter feeling of mortification she reflected that she was probably to the man whom she adored a shame and a reproach
Yet I should like to see them she said running to the window as the carriage drove up and the ladies entered it At that moment they whether from curiosity to see her or accident looked up at the window where she was Adeline started back indignant and confused for thrusting their heads eagerly forward they looked at her with the bold unfeeling stare of imagined superiority and Adeline spite of her reason sunk abashed and conscious from their gaze
And this insult exclaimed she clasping her hands and bursting into tears I experience from Glenmurrays relations I think I could have borne it better from any one else
She had not recovered her disorder when Glenmurray entered the room and tenderly embracing her exclaimed Never never again my love will I submit to such a sacrifice as I have now made when seeing her in tears too well aware of the cause he gave way to such a passionate burst of tenderness and regret that Adeline terrified at his agitation though soothed by his fondness affected the cheerfulness which she did not feel and promised to drive the intruders from her remembrance
Had Glenmurray and Adeline known the real character of the unwelcome visitors neither of them would have regretted that Adeline was not presented to them One of them was married and to so accommodating a husband that his wifes known gallant was his intimate friend and under the sanction of his protection she was received every where and visited by every one as the world did not think proper to be more clearsighted than the husband himself chose to be The other lady was a young and attractive widow who coquetted with many men but intrigued with only one at a time for which selfdenial she was rewarded by being allowed to pass unquestioned through the portals of fashionable society But these ladies would have scorned to associate with Adeline and Adeline had she known their private history would certainly have returned the compliment
The peace of Adeline was soon after disturbed in another way Glenmurray finding himself disposed to sleep in the middle of the day his cough having kept him waking all night Adeline took her usual walk and returned by the churchyard The bell was tolling and as she passed she saw a funeral enter the churchyard and instantly averted her head
In so doing her eyes fell on a decentlooking woman who with a sort of angry earnestness was watching the progress of the procession
Aye there goes your body you rogue she exclaimed indignantly but I wonder where your soul is now—where I would not be for something
Adeline was shocked and gently observed What crime did the person of whom you are speaking that you should suppose his soul so painfully disposed of
What crime returned the woman crime enough I think—why he ruined a poor girl here in the neighbourhood and then because he never chose to make a will there is she lyingin of a little byblow with not a farthing of money to maintain her or the child and the fellows money is gone to the heiratlaw scarce of kin to him while his own flesh and blood is left to starve
Adeline shuddered—if Glenmurray were to die she and the child which she bore would she knew be beggars
Well miss or madam belike by the look of you continued the woman glancing her eye over Adelines person what say you Dont you think the fellows soul is where we should not like to be However he had his hell here too to be sure for when speechless and unable to move his fingers he seemed by signs to ask for pen and ink and he looked in agonies and there was the poor young woman crying over him and holding in her arms the poor destitute baby who would as he grew up be taught he must think to curse the wicked father who begot him and the naughty mother who bore him
Adeline turned very sick and was forced to seat herself on a tombstone Curse the mother who bore him she inwardly repeated—and will my child curse me Rather let me undergo the rites I have despised and instantly starting from her seat she ran down the road to her lodgings resolving to propose to Glenmurray their immediate marriage
But is the possession of property then she said to herself as she stopped to take breath so supreme a good that the want of it through the means of his mother should dispose a child to curse that mother—No my child shall be taught to consider nothing valuable but virtue nothing disgraceful but vice—Fool that I am a bugbear frightened me and to my foolish fears I was about to sacrifice my own principles and the respectability of Glenmurray No—Let his property go to the heiratlaw—let me be forced to labour to support my babe when its father— Here a flood of tears put an end to her soliloquy and slowly and pensively she returned home
But the conversation of the woman in the churchyard haunted her while waking and continued to distress her in her dreams that night and she was resolved to do all she could to relieve the situation of the poor destitute girl and child in whose fate she might possibly see an anticipation of her own and as soon as breakfast was over and Glenmurray was engaged in his studies she walked out to make the projected inquiries
The season of the year was uncommonly fine and the varied scenery visible from the terrace was at the moment of Adelines approach to it glowing with more than common beauty Adeline stood for some minutes gazing on it in silent delight when her reverie was interrupted by the sound of boyish merriment and she saw at one end of the terrace some welldressed boys at play
Alas regardless of their doom
The little victims play
immediately recurred to her for contemplating the probable evils of existence she was darkly brooding over the imagined fate of her own offspring should it live to see the light and the children at their sport having no care of ills to come naturally engaged her attention
But these happy children ceased to interest her when she saw standing at a distance from the group and apparently looking at it with an eye of envy a little boy even better dressed than the rest who was sobbing violently yet evidently trying to conceal his grief And while she was watching the young mourner attentively he suddenly threw himself on a seat and taking out his handkerchief indignantly and impatiently wiped away the tears that would no longer be restrained
Poor child thought Adeline seating herself beside him and has affliction reached thee so soon
The child was beautiful and his clustering locks seemed to have been combed with so much care the frill of his shirt was so fine and had been so very neatly plaited and his sunburnt neck and hands were so very very clean that Adeline was certain he was the darling object of some fond mothers attention And yet he is unhappy she inwardly exclaimed When my fate resembled his how happy I was But from the recollections like these she always hastened and checking the rising sigh she resolved to enter into conversation with the little boy
What is the matter she cried—No answer Why are you not playing with the young gentlemen yonder
She had touched the right string—and bursting into tears he sobbed out Because they wont let me
No and why will they not let you To this he replied not but sullenly hung his blushing face on his bosom
Perhaps you have made them angry gently asked Adeline Oh no no cried the boy but— But what Here he turned from her and with his nail began scratching the arm of the seat
Well this is very strange and seems very unkind cried Adeline I will speak to them So saying she drew near the other children who had interrupted their play to watch Adeline and their rejected playmate What can be the reason said she that you will not let that little boy play with you The boys looked down and said nothing
Is he illnatured
No
Does he not play fair
Yes
Dont you like him
Yes
Then why do you make him unhappy by not letting him join in your sport
Tell the lady Jack cries one and Jack the biggest boy of the party said Because he is not a gentlemans son like us and is only a little bastard
Yes cried one of the other children and his mamma is so proud she dresses him finer than we are for all he is baseborn and our papas and mammas dont think him fit company for us
They might have gone on for an hour—Adeline could not interrupt them The cause of the childs affliction was a dagger in her heart and while she listened to the now redoubled sobs of the disgraced and proudly afflicted boy she was driven almost to phrensy for Such she exclaimed may one time or other be the pangs of my child and so to him may the hours of childhood be embittered Again she seated herself by the little mourner—and her tears accompanied his
My dear child you had better go home said she struggling with her feelings your mother will certainly be glad of your company
No I wont go to her I dont love her they say she is a bad woman and my papa a bad man because they are not married
Again Adelines horrors returned But my dear they love you no doubt and you ought to love them she replied with effort
There there comes your papa cried one of the boys go and cry to him—go
At these words Adeline looked up and saw an elegantlooking man approaching with a look of anxiety
Charles my dear boy what has happened said he taking his hand which the boy sullenly withdrew Come home directly continued his father and tell me what is the matter as we go along But again snatching his hand away the proud and deeply wounded child resentfully pushed the shoulder next him forward whenever his father tried to take his arm and elbowed him angrily as he went
Adeline felt the childs action to the bottom of her heart It was a volume of reproach to the father and she sighed to think what the parents if they had hearts must feel when the afflicted boy told the cause of his grief But unhappy boy perhaps my child may live to bless you she exclaimed clasping her hands together never never will I expose my child to the pangs which you have experienced today So saying she returned instantly to her lodgings and having just strength left to enter Glenmurrays room she faintly exclaimed For pitys sake make me your wife tomorrow and fell senseless on the floor
On her recovery she saw Glenmurray pale with agitation yet with an expression of satisfaction in his countenance bending over her Adeline my dearest love he whispered as her head lay on his bosom blessed be the words you have spoken whatever be their cause Tomorrow you shall be my wife
And then our child will be legitimate will he not she eagerly replied
It will
Thank God cried Adeline and relapsed into a fainting fit For it was not decreed that the object of her maternal solicitude should ever be born to reward it Anxiety and agitation had had a fatal effect on the health of Adeline and the day after her encounter on the terrace she brought forth a dead child
As soon as Adeline languid and disappointed was able to leave her room Glenmurray whom anxiety during her illness had rendered considerably weaker urged her to let the marriage ceremony be performed immediately But with her hopes of being a mother vanished her wishes to become a wife and all her former reasons against marriage recurred in their full force
In vain did Glenmurray entreat her to keep her lately formed resolution she still attributed his persuasions to generosity and the heroic resolve of sacrificing his principles with the consistency of his character to her supposed good and it was a point of honour with her to be as generous in return consequently the subject was again dropped nor was it likely to be soon renewed and anxiety of a more pressing nature disturbed their peace and engrossed their attention They had been three months at Richmond and had incurred there a considerable debt and Glenmurray not having sufficient money with him to discharge it drew upon his banker for half the halfyears rents from his estate which he had just deposited in his hands when to his unspeakable astonishment he found that the house had stopped payment and that the principal partner had gone off with the deposits
Scarcely could the firm mind of Glenmurray support itself under the stroke He looked forward to the certainty of passing the little remainder of his life not only in pain but in poverty and of seeing increase as fast as his wants the difficulty of supplying them while the woman of his heart bent in increased agony over his restless couch for he well knew that to raise money on his estate or to anticipate the next halfyears rents was impossible as he had only a life interest in it and as he held the fatal letter in his hand his frame shook with agitation
I could not have believed cried Adeline that the loss of any sum of money could have so violently affected you
Not the loss of my all my support during the tedious scenes of illness
Your all faltered out Adeline and when she heard the true state of the case she found her agitation equalled that of Glenmurray and in hopeless anguish she leaned on the table beside him
What is to be done said she till the next halfyears rents become due Where can we procure money
Till the next halfyears rents become due replied he looking at her mournfully I shall not be distressed for money then
No answered Adeline not understanding him our expenses have never yet been more than that sum can supply
Glenmurray looked at her and seeing how unconscious she was of the certainty of the evil that awaited her had not the courage to distress her by explaining his meaning and she went on to ask him what steps he meant to take to raise money
My only resource said he is dunning a near relation of mine who owes me three hundred pounds he is now I believe able to pay it He is in Holland indeed at present but he is daily expected in England and will come to see me here I have named him to you before I believe His name is Berrendale
It was then agreed that Glenmurray should write to Mr Berrendale immediately and that to prevent the necessity of incurring a further debt for present provisions and necessaries some of their books and linen should be sold—but week after week elapsed and no letter was received from Mr Berrendale
Glenmurray grew rapidly worse—and their landlord was clamorous for his rent—advice from London also became necessary to quiet Adelines mind—though Glenmurray knew that he was past cure and after she had paid a small sum to quiet the demands of the landlord for a while she had scarcely enough left to pay a physician however she sent for one recommended by Dr Norberry and by selling a writingdesk inlaid with silver which she valued because it was the gift of her father she raised money sufficient for the occasion
Dr —— arrived but not to speak peace to the mind of Adeline She saw though he did not absolutely say so that all chance of Glenmurrays recovery was over and though with the sanguine feelings of nineteen she could hope though hope were lost when she watched Dr ——s countenance as he turned from the bedside of Glenmurray she felt the coldness of despair thrill through her frame and scarcely able to stand she followed him into the next room and awaited his orders with a sort of desperate tranquillity
After prescribing alleviations of the ill beyond his power to cure Dr —— added that terrible confirmation of the fears of anxious affection Let him have whatever he likes nothing can hurt him now and all your endeavours must be to make the remaining hours of his existence as comfortable as you can by every indulgence possible and indeed my dear madam he continued you must be prepared for the trial that awaits you
Prepared did you say cried Adeline in the broken voice of tearless and almost phrensied sorrow O God if he must die in mercy let me die with him If I have sinned here she fell on her knees surely surely the agony of this moment is atonement sufficient
Dr —— greatly affected raised her from the ground and conjured her for the sake of Glenmurray and that she might not make his last hours miserable to bear her trial with more fortitude
And can you talk of his last hours and yet expect me to be composed—O sir say but there is one little little gleam of hope for me and I will be calm
Well replied Dr —— I may be mistaken Mr Glenmurray is young and—and— here his voice faltered and he was unable to proceed for the expression of Adelines countenance changing as it instantly did from misery to joy—joy of which he knew the fallacy—while her eyes were intently fixed on him was too much for a man of any feeling to support and when she pressed his hand in the convulsive emotions of her gratitude he was forced to turn away his head to conceal the starting tear
Well I may be mistaken—Mr Glenmurray is young Adeline repeated again and again as his carriage drove off and she flew to Glenmurrays bedside to impart to him the satisfaction which he rejoiced to see her feel but in which he could not share
Her recovered security did not however last long the change in Glenmurray grew every day more visible and to increase her distress they were forced to avoid disagreeable altercations to give the landlord a draft on Mr Berrendale for the sum due to him and remove to very humble lodgings in a closer part of the town
Here their misery was a little alleviated by the unexpected receipt of twenty pounds sent to Glenmurray by a tenant who was in arrears to him which enabled Adeline to procure Glenmurray every thing that his capricious appetite required and at his earnest entreaty in order that she might sometimes venture to leave him lest her health should suffer she hired a nurse to assist her in her attendance upon him
A hasty letter too was at length received from Mr Berrendale saying that he should very soon be in England and should hasten to Richmond immediately on his landing The terror of wanting money therefore began to subside but day after day elapsed and Mr Berrendale came not and Adeline being obliged to deny herself almost necessary sustenance that Glenmurrays appetite might be tempted and his nurse by the indulgence of hers kept in good humour resolved presuming on the arrival of Mr Berrendale to write to Dr Norberry and solicit the loan of twenty pounds
Having done so she ceased to be alarmed though she found herself in possession of only three guineas to defray the probable expenses of the ensuing week and in somewhat less misery than usual she at the earnest entreaty of Glenmurray set out to take a walk
Scarcely conscious what she did she strolled through the town and seeing some fine grapes at the window of a fruiterer she went in to ask the price of them knowing how welcome fruit was to the feverish palate of Glenmurray While the shopman was weighing the grapes she saw a pineapple on the counter and felt a strong wish to carry it home as a more welcome present but with unspeakable disappointment she heard that the price of it was two guineas—a sum which she could not think herself justified in expending in the present state of their finances even to please Glenmurray especially as he had not expressed a wish for such an indulgence besides he liked grapes and as medicine neither of them could be effectual
It was fortunate for Adelines feelings that she had not overheard what the mistress of the shop said to her maid as she left it
I should have asked another person only a guinea but as those sort of women never mind what they give I asked two and I dare say she will come back for it
I have brought you some grapes cried Adeline as she entered Glenmurrays chamber and I would have brought you a pineapple but that it was too dear
A pineapple said Glenmurray languidly turning over the grapes and with a sort of distaste putting one of them in his mouth a pineapple—I wish you had brought it with all my heart I protest that I feel as if I could eat a whole one
Well replied Adeline if you would enjoy it so much you certainly ought to have it
But the price my dear girl—what was it
Only two guineas replied Adeline forcing a smile
Two guineas exclaimed Glenmurray No—that is too much to give—I will not indulge my appetite at such a rate—but take away the grapes—I cant eat them
Adeline disappointed removed them from his sight and to increase her vexation Glenmurray was continually talking of pineapples and in that way that showed how strongly his diseased appetite wished to enjoy the gratification of eating one At last unable to bear to see him struggling with an ungratified wish she told him that she believed they could afford to buy the pineapple as she had written to borrow some money of Dr Norberry to be paid as soon as Mr Berrendale arrived In a moment the dull eye of Glenmurray lighted up with expectation and he who in health was remarkable for selfdenial and temperance scrupled not overcome by the influence of the fever which consumed him to gratify his palate at a rate the most extravagant
Adeline sighed as she contemplated this change effected by illness and promising to be back as soon as possible she proceeded to a shop to dispose of her lace veil the only ornament which she had retained and that not from vanity but because it concealed from the eye of curiosity the sorrow marked on her countenance But she knew a piece of muslin would do as well and for two guineas sold a veil worth treble that sum but it was to give a minutes pleasure to Glenmurray and that was enough for Adeline
On her way to the fruiterers she saw a crowd at the door of a meanlooking house and in the midst of it she beheld a mulatto woman the picture of sickness and despair supporting a young man who seemed ready to faint every moment but whom a roughfeatured man regardless of his weakness was trying to force from the grasp of the unhappy woman while a mulatto boy known in Richmond by the name of the Tawny Boy to whom Adeline had often given halfpence in her walks was crying bitterly and hiding his face in the poor womans apron
Adeline immediately pressed forward to inquire into the cause of a distress only too congenial to her feelings and as she did so the tawny boy looked up and knowing her immediately ran eagerly forward to meet her seeming though he did not speak to associate with her presence an idea of certain relief
Oh it is only a poor man replied an old woman in answer to Adelines inquiries who cant pay his debts—and so they are dragging him to prison—thats all They are dragging him to his death too cried a younger woman in a gentle accent for he is only just recovering from a bad fever and if he goes to jail the bad air will certainly kill him poor soul
Is that his wife said Adeline Yes and my mammy said the tawny boy looking up in her face and she so ill and sorry
Yes unhappy creatures replied her informant and they have known great trouble and now just as they had got a little money together William fell ill and in doctors stuff Savanna thats the mulattos name has spent all the money she had earned as well as her husbands and now she is ill herself and I am sure Williams going to jail will kill her And a hardhearted wicked wretch Mr Davis is to arrest him—that he is—not but what it is his due I cannot say but it is—but poor souls hell die and shell die and then what will become of their poor little boy
The tawny boy all this time was standing crying by Adelines side and had twisted his fingers in her gown while her heart sympathized most painfully in the anguish of the mulatto woman What is the amount of the sum for which he is taken up said Adeline
Oh trifling but Mr Davis owes him a grudge and so will not wait any longer It is in all only ten pounds and he says if they will pay part he will wait for the rest but then he knows they could as well pay all as part
Adeline shocked at the knowledge of a distress which she was not able to remove was turning away as the woman said this when she felt that the little boy pulled her gown gently as if appealing to her generosity while a surlylooking man who was the creditor himself forcing a passage through the crowd said Why bring him along and have done with it here is a fuss to make indeed about that idle dog and that ugly black toad
Adeline till then had not recollected that she was a mulatto and this speech reflecting so brutally on her colour—a circumstance which made her an object of greater interest to Adeline—urged her to step forward to their joint relief with an almost irresistible impulse especially when another man reproached the fellow for his brutality and added that he knew them both to be hardworking deserving persons But to disappoint Glenmurray of his promised pleasure was impossible and having put sixpence in the tawny boys hand she was hastening to the fruiterers when the crowd who were following William and the mulatto to the jail whither the bailiffs were dragging rather than leading him fell back to give air to the poor man who had fainted on Savannas shoulder and seemed on the point of expiring—while she with an expression of fixed despair was gazing on his wan cheek
Adeline thought on Glenmurrays danger and shuddered as she beheld the scene she felt it but a too probable anticipation of the one in which she might soon be an actor
At this moment a man observed If he goes to prison he will not live two days that every one may see and the mulatto uttered a shriek of agony
Adeline felt it to her very soul and rushing forward Sir sir she exclaimed to the unfeeling creditor if I were to give you a guinea now and promise you two more a fortnight hence would you release this poor man for the present
No I must have three guineas this moment replied he Adeline sighed and withdrew her hand from her pocket But were Glenmurray here he would give up his indulgence I am sure to save the lives of probably two fellowcreatures thought Adeline and he would not forgive me if I were to sacrifice such an opportunity to the sole gratification of his palate—But then again Glenmurray eagerly expecting her with the promised treat so gratifying to the feverish taste of sickness seemed to appear before her and she turned away but the eyes of the mulatto who had heard her words and had hung on them breathless with expectation followed her with a look of such sad reproach for the disappointment which she had occasioned her and the little boy looked up so wistfully in her face crying Poor fader and poor mammy that Adeline could not withstand the force of the appeal but almost exclaiming Glenmurray would upbraid me if I did not act thus she gave the creditor the three guineas paid the bailiffs their demand and then made her way through the crowd who respectfully drew back to give her room to pass saying God bless you lady God bless you
But William was too ill and Savanna felt too much to speak and the surly creditor said sneeringly If I had been you I would at least have thanked the lady This reproach restored Savanna to the use of speech and but with a violent effort she uttered in a hoarse and broken voice I tank her God tank her I never can and Adeline kindly pressing her hand hurried away from her in silence though scarcely able to refrain exclaiming you know not the sacrifice which you have cost me The tawny boy still followed her as loath to leave her God bless you my dear said she kindly to him there go to your mother and be good to her His dark face glowed as she spoke to him and holding up his chin Tiss me cried he poor tawny boy love you She did so and then reluctantly he left her nodding his head and saying Dood bye till he was out of sight
With him and with the display of his grateful joy vanished all that could give Adeline resolution to bear her own reflections at the idea of returning home and of the trial that awaited her In vain did she now try to believe that Glenmurray would applaud what she had done—He was now the slave of disease nor was it likely that even his selfdenial and principle benevolence could endure with patience so cruel a disappointment—and from the woman whom he loved too—and to whom the indulgence of his slightest wishes ought to have been the first object
What shall I do cried she what will he say—No doubt he is impatiently expecting me and in his weak state disappointment may— Here unable to hear her apprehensions she wrung her hands in agony and when she arrived in sight of her lodgings she dared not look up lest she should see Glenmurray at the window watching for her return Slowly and fearfully did she open the door and the first sound she heard was Glenmurrays voice from the door of his room saying So you are come at last—I have been so impatient And indeed he had risen and dressed himself that he might enjoy his treat more than he could do in a sickbed
How can I bear to look him in the face thought Adeline lingering on the stairs
Adeline my love why do you make me wait so long cried Glenmurray Here are knives and plates ready where is the treat I have been so long expecting
Adeline entered the room and threw herself on the first chair avoiding the sight of Glenmurray whose countenance as she hastily glanced her eyes over it was animated with the expectation of a pleasure which he was not to enjoy I have not brought the pineapple she faintly articulated No replied Glenmurray how hard upon me—the only thing for weeks that I have wished for or could have eaten with pleasure I suppose you were so long going that it was disposed of before you got there
No replied Adeline struggling with her tears at this first instance of pettishness in Glenmurray
Pardon me the supposition replied Glenmurray recovering himself more likely you met some dun on the road and so the two guineas were disposed of another way—If so I cant blame you What say you Am I right
No Then how was it gravely asked Glenmurray You must have had a very powerful and a sufficient reason to induce you to disappoint a poor invalid of the indulgence which you had yourself excited him to wish for
This is terrible indeed thought Adeline and never was I so tempted to tell a falsehood
Still silent You are very unkind Miss Mowbray said Glenmurray I see that I have tired even you out
These words by the agony which they excited restored to Adeline all her resolution She ran to Glenmurray she clasped his burning hands in hers and as succinctly as possible she related what had passed When she had finished Glenmurray was silent the fretfulness of disease prompted him to say So then to the relief of strangers you sacrificed the gratification of the man whom you love and deprived him of the only pleasure he may live to enjoy But the habitual sweetness and generosity of his temper struggled and struggled effectually with his malady and while Adeline pale and trembling awaited her sentence he caught her suddenly to his bosom and held her there a few moments in silence
Then you forgive me faltered out Adeline
Forgive you I love and admire you more than ever I know your heart Adeline and I am convinced that depriving yourself of the delight of giving me the promised treat in order to do a benevolent action was an effort of virtue of the highest order and never I trust have you known or will you know again such bitter feelings as you this moment experienced
Adeline gratified by his generous kindness and charmed with his praise could only weep her thanks And now said Glenmurray laughing you may bring back the grapes—I am not like Sternes dear Jenny if I cannot get pineapple I will not insist on eating crab
The grapes were brought but in vain did he try to eat them At this time however he did not send them away without highly commending their flavour and wishing that he dared give way to his inclinations and feast upon them
O God of mercy cried Adeline bursting into an agony of grief as she reached her own apartment and throwing herself on her knees by the bedside Must that benevolent being be taken from me for ever and must I must I survive him
She continued for some minutes in this attitude and with her heart devoutly raised to heaven till every feeling yielded to resignation and she arose calm if not contented when on turning round she saw Glenmurray leaning against the door and gazing on her
Sweet enthusiast cried he smiling so thus when you are distressed you seek consolation
I do she replied Sceptic wouldst thou wish to deprive me of it
No by heaven warmly exclaimed Glenmurray and the evening passed more cheerfully than usual
The next post brought a letter not from Dr Norberry but from his wife it was as follows and contained three poundnotes—
Mrs Norberrys compliments to Miss Mowbray having opened her letter poor Dr Norberry being dangerously ill of a fever find her distress of which shall not inform the doctor as he feels so much for his friends misfortunes specially when brought on by misconduct But out of respect for your mother who is a good sort of woman though rather particular as all learned ladies are have sent three poundnotes the Miss Norberrys giving one apiece not to lend but a gift and they join Mrs Norberry in hoping Miss Mowbray will soon see the error of her ways and if so be no doubt Dr Norberry will use his interest to get her into the Magdalen
This curious epistle would have excited in Glenmurray and Adeline no other feelings save those of contempt but for the information it contained of the doctors being dangerously ill and in fear for the worthy husband they forgot the impertinence of the wife and daughters
The next day fortunately Mr Berrendale arrived and with him the three hundred pounds Consequently all Glenmurrays debts were discharged better lodgings procured and the three poundnotes returned in a blank cover to Mrs Norberry Charles Berrendale was firstcousin to Glenmurray and so like him in face that they were at first mistaken for brothers but to a physiognomist they must always have been unlike as Glenmurray was remarkable for the character and expression of his countenance and Berrendale for the extreme beauty of his features and complexion Glenmurray was pale and thin and his eyes and hair dark Berrendales eyes were of a light blue and though his eyelashes were black his hair was of a rich auburn Glenmurray was thin and muscular Berrendale round and corpulent still they were alike and it was not ill observed of them that Berrendale was Glenmurray in good health
But Berrendale could not be flattered by the resemblance as his face and person were so truly what is called handsome that partial as our sex is said to be to beauty any woman would have been excused for falling in love with him Whether his mind was equal to his person we shall show hereafter
The meeting between Berrendale and Glenmurray was affectionate on both sides but Berrendale could scarcely hide the pain he felt on seeing the situation of Glenmurray whose virtues he had always loved whose talents he had always respected and to whose active friendship towards himself he owed eternal gratitude
But he soon learnt to think Glenmurray in one respect an object of envy when he beheld the constant skilful and tender attentions of his nurse and saw in that nurse every gift of heart mind and person which could make a woman amiable
Berrendale had heard that his eccentric cousin was living with a girl as odd as himself who thought herself a genius and pretended to universal knowledge great then was his astonishment to find this imagined pedant and pretender not only an adept in every useful and feminine pursuit but modest in her demeanour and gentle in her manners little did he expect to see her capable of serving the table of Glenmurray with dishes made by herself not only tempting to the now craving appetite of the invalid but to the palate of an epicure—while all his wants were anticipated by her anxious attention and many of the sufferings of sickness alleviated by her inventive care
Adeline meanwhile was agreeably surprised to see the good effect produced on Glenmurrays spirits and even his health by the arrival of his cousin and her manner became even affectionate to Berrendale from gratitude for the change which his presence seemed to have occasioned
Adeline had now a companion in her occasional walks—Glenmurray insisted on her walking and insisted on Berrendales accompanying her In these têteàtêtes Adeline unburthened her heart by telling Berrendale of the agony she felt at the idea of losing Glenmurray and while drowned in tears she leaned on his arm she unconsciously suffered him to press the hand that leaned against him nor would she have felt it a freedom to be reproved had she been conscious that he did so But these trifling indulgences were fuel to the flame that she had kindled in the heart of Berrendale a flame which he saw no guilt in indulging as he looked on Glenmurrays death as certain and Adeline would then be free
But though Adeline was perfectly unconscious of his attachment Glenmurray had seen it even before Berrendale himself discovered it and he only waited a favourable opportunity to make the discovery known to the parties All he had as yet ventured to say was Charles my Adeline is an excellent nurse—You would like such as one during your fits of the gout and Berrendale had blushed deeply while he assented to Glenmurrays remarks because he was conscious that while enumerating Adelines perfections he had figured her to himself warming his flannels and leaning tenderly over his gouty couch
One day while Adeline was reading to Glenmurray and Berrendale was attending not to what she read but to the beauty of her mouth while reading the nurse came in and said that a mulatto woman wished to speak to Miss Mowbray
Show her up immediately cried Glenmurray and if her little boy is with her let him come too
In vain did Adeline expostulate—Glenmurray wished to enjoy the mulattos expressions of gratitude and in spite of all she could say the mother and child were introduced
So cried the mulatto whose looks were so improved that Adeline scarcely knew her again So me find you at last and please God we not soon part more As she said this she pressed the hem of Adelines gown to her lips with fervent emotion
Not part from her again cried Glenmurray What do you mean my good woman
Oh when she gave tree guinea for me me tought she mus be rich lady but now dey say she be poor and me mus work for her
And who told you I was poor
Dat cross man where you live once—he say you could not pay him and you go away—and he tell me that your love be ill and me so sorry yet so glad for my love be well aden and he have good employ and now I can come and serve you and nurse dis poor gentleman and all for nothing but my meat and drink and I know dat great fat nurse have gold wages and eat and drink fat beside—I knowd her well
All this was uttered with volubility and in a tone between laughing and crying
Well Adeline said Glenmurray when she had ended you did not throw away your kindness on an unworthy and ungrateful object so I am quite reconciled to the loss of the pineapple and I will tell your honest friend here the story—to show her as she has a tender heart herself the greatness of the sacrifice you made for her sake
Adeline begged him to desist but he went on and the mulatto could not keep herself quiet on the chair while he related the circumstance
And did she do dat to save me she passionately exclaimed Angel woman I should have let poor man go to prison before disappoint my William
And did you forgive her immediately said Berrendale
Yes certainly
Well that was heroic too returned he
And no one but Glenmurray would have been so heroic I believe said Adeline
But lady you break my heart cried the mulatto if you not take my service Mr William and me too poor to live togedder of some year perhaps Here child tawny boy down on knees and vow wid me to be faithful and grateful to this our mistress till our last day and never to forsake her in sickness or in sorrow I swear dis to my great God—and now say dat after me She then clasped the little boys hands bade him raise his eyes to heaven and made him repeat what she had said ending it with I swear dis to my great God
There was such an affecting solemnity in this action and in the mulatto such a determined enthusiasm of manner incapable of being controlled that Adeline Glenmurray and Berrendale observed what passed in respectful silence and when it was over Glenmurray said in a voice of emotion I think Adeline we must accept this good creatures offer and as nurse grows lazy and saucy we had better part with her and as for your young knight there the tawny boy had by this time nestled himself close to Adeline who with no small emotion was playing with his woolly curls we must send him to school for my good woman we are not so poor as you imagine
God be thanked cried the mulatto
But what is your name
I was christened Savanna replied she
Then good Savanna cried Adeline I hope we shall both have reason to bless the day when first we met and tomorrow you shall come home to us Savanna on hearing this almost screamed with joy and as she took her leave Berrendale slipped a guinea into her hand the tawny boy meanwhile slowly followed his mother as if unwilling to leave Adeline even though she gave him halfpence to spend in cakes but on being told that she would let him come again the next day he tripped gaily down after Savanna
The quiet of the chamber being then restored Glenmurray fell into a calm slumber Adeline took up her work and Berrendale pretending to read continued to feed his passion by gazing on the unconscious Adeline
While they were thus engaged Glenmurray unobserved awoke and he soon guessed how Berrendales eyes were employed as the book which he held in his hand was upside down and through the fingers of the hand which he held before his face he saw his looks fixed on Adeline
The moment was a favourable one for Glenmurrays purpose and just as he raised himself from his pillow Adeline had discovered the earnest gaze of Berrendale and a suspicion of the truth that instant darting across her mind disconcerted and blushing she had cast her eyes on the ground
That is an interesting study which you are engaged in Charles cried Glenmurray smiling
Berrendale started and deeply blushing faltered out Yes
Adeline looked at Glenmurray and seeing a very arch and meaning expression on his countenance suspected that he had made the same discovery as herself yet if so she wondered at his looking so pleasantly on Berrendale as he spoke
It is a book Charles continued Glenmurray which the more you study the more you will admire and I wish to give you a clue to understand some passages in it better than you can now do
This speech deceived Adeline and made her suppose that Glenmurray really alluded to the book which lay before Berrendale but it convinced him that Glenmurray spoke metaphorically and as his manner was kind it also made him think that he saw and did not disapprove his attachment
For a few minutes each of them being engrossed in different contemplations there was a complete silence but Glenmurray interrupted it by saying My dear Adeline it is your hour for walking but as I am not disposed to sleep again will you forgive me if I keep your walking companion to myself today—I wish to converse with him alone
Oh most cheerfully she replied with quickness you know I love a solitary ramble of all things
Not very flattering that to my cousin observed Glenmurray
I did not wish to flatter him said Adeline gravely and Berrendale fluttered at the idea of the coming conversation with Glenmurray and mortified by Adelines words and manner turned to the window to conceal his emotion
Adeline then with more than usual tenderness conjured Glenmurray not to talk too much nor do anything to destroy the hopes on which her only chance of happiness depended viz the now possible chance of his recovery and then set out for her walk while with a restraint and coldness which she could not conquer she bade Berrendale farewell for the present
The walk was long and her thoughts perturbed—What could Glenmurray want to say to Mr Berrendale—Why did Mr Berrendale sit with his eyes so intently and clandestinely as it were fixed on me were thoughts perpetually recurring to her and half impatient and half reluctant she at length returned to her lodgings
When she entered the apartment she saw signs of great emotion in the countenance of both the gentlemen and in Berrendales eyes the traces of recent tears The tone of Glenmurrays voice too when he addressed her was even more tender than usual and Berrendales attentions more marked yet more respectful and Adeline observed that Glenmurray was unusually thoughtful and absent and that the cough and other symptoms of his complaint were more troublesome than ever
I see you have exerted yourself and talked too much during my absence cried Adeline and I will never leave you again for so long a time
You never shall said Glenmurray I must leave you for so long a time at last that I will be blessed with the sight of you as long as I can
Adeline whose hopes had been considerably revived during the last few days looked mournfully and reproachfully in his face as he uttered these words
It is even so my dearest girl continued Glenmurray and I say this to guard you against a melancholy surprise—I wish to prepare you for an event which to me seems unavoidable
Prepare me exclaimed Adeline wildly Can there be any preparation to enable one to bear such a calamity Absurd idea However I shall derive consolation from the severity of the stroke I feel that I shall not be able to survive it So saying her head fell on Glenmurrays pillow and for some time her sorrow almost suspended the consciousness of suffering
From this state she was aroused by Glenmurrays being attacked with a violent paroxysm of his complaint and all selfish distress was lost in the consciousness of his sufferings again he struggled through and seemed so relieved by the effort that again Adelines hopes revived and she could scarcely return with temper Berrendales good night when Glenmurray expressed a wish to rest because his spirits had not risen in any proportion to hers
The nurse had been dismissed that afternoon and Adeline as Savanna was not to come home till the next morning was to sit up alone with Glenmurray that night and contrary to his usual custom he did not insist that she should have a companion
For a few hours his exhausted frame was recruited by a sleep more than usually quiet and but for a few hours only He then became restless and so wakeful and disturbed that he professed to Adeline an utter inability to sleep and therefore he wished to pass the rest of the night in serious conversation with her
Adeline alarmed at this intention conjured him not to irritate his complaint by so dangerous an exertion
My mind will irritate it more replied he if I refrain from it for it is burthened my Adeline and it longs to throw off its burthen Now then ere my senses wander hear what I wish to communicate to you and interrupt me as little as possible
Adeline oppressed and awed beyond measure at the unusual solemnity of his manner made no answer but leaning her cheek on his hand awaited his communication in silence
I think said Glenmurray I shall begin with telling you Berrendales history it is proper that you should know all that concerns him
Adeline raising her head replied hastily—Not to satisfy any curiosity of mine for I feel none I assure you
Well then returned Glenmurray sighing to please me be it—Berrendale is the son of my mothers sister by a merchant of the neighbourhood of the Change who hurt the family pride so much by marrying a tradesman that I am the only one of the clan who has noticed her since He ran away about four years ago with the only child of a rich West Indian from a boardingschool The consequence was that her father renounced her but when three years ago she died in giving birth to a son the unhappy parent repented of his displeasure and offered to allow Berrendale who from the bankruptcy and sudden death of both his parents had been left destitute an annuity of 300l for life provided he would send the child over to Jamaica and allow him to have all the care of his education To this Berrendale consented
Reluctantly I hope said Adeline and merely out of pity for the feelings of the childless father
I hope so too continued Glenmurray for I do not think the chance of inheriting all his grandfathers property a sufficient reason to lead him to give up to another and in a foreign land too the society and education of his child but whatever were his reasons Berrendale acceded to the request and the infant was sent to Jamaica and ever since the 300l has been regularly remitted to him besides that he has recovered two thousand and odd hundred pounds from the wreck of his fathers property and with economy and had he a good wife to manage his affairs for him Berrendale might live very comfortably
My dear Glenmurray cried Adeline impatiently what is this to me and why do you weary yourself to tell me particulars so little interesting to me
Glenmurray bade her have patience and continued thus And now Adeline here his voice evidently faltered I must open my whole heart to you and confess that the idea of leaving you friendless unprotected and poor your reputation injured and your peace of mind destroyed is more than I am able to bear and will give me in my last moments the torments of the damned Here a violent burst of tears interrupted him and Adeline overcome with emotion and surprise at the sight of the agitation which his own sufferings could never occasion in him hung over him in speechless woe
Besides continued Glenmurray recovering himself a little I—O Adeline seizing her cold hand can you forgive me for having been the means of blasting all your fair fame and prospects in life
For the sake of justice if not of mercy exclaimed Adeline forbear thus cruelly to accuse yourself You know that from my own free unbiassed choice I gave myself to you and in compliance with my own principles
But who taught you those principles—who led you to a train of reasoning so alluring in theory so pernicious in practice Had not I with the heedless vanity of youth given to the world the crude conceptions of fourandtwenty you might at this moment have been the idol of a respectable society and I equally respected have been the husband of your heart while happiness would perhaps have kept the fatal disease at bay of which anxiety has facilitated the approach
He was going on but Adeline who had till now struggled successfully with her feelings wound up almost to phrensy at the possibility that anxiety had shortened Glenmurrays life gave way to a violent paroxysm of sorrow which for a while deprived her of consciousness and when she recovered she found Berrendale bending over her while her head lay on Glenmurrays pillow
The sight of Berrendale in a moment roused her to exertion—his look was so full of anxious tenderness and she was at that moment so ill disposed to regard it with complacency that she eagerly declared she was quite recovered and begged Mr Berrendale would return to bed and Glenmurray seconding her request with a deep sigh he departed
Poor fellow said Glenmurray I wish you had seen his anxiety during your illness
I am glad I did not replied Adeline but how can you persist in talking to me of any other persons anxiety when I am tortured with yours Your conversation of tonight has made me even more miserable than I was before By what strange fatality do you blame yourself for the conduct worthy of admiration—for giving to the world as soon as produced opinions which were calculated to enlighten it
But replied Glenmurray as those opinions militated against the experience and custom of ages ought I not to have paused before I published and kept them back till they had received the sanction of my maturer judgment
And does your maturer judgment condemn them
Four years cannot have added much to the maturity of my judgment replied Glenmurray but I will own that some of my opinions are changed and that though I believe those which are unchanged are right in theory I think as the mass of society could never at once adopt them they had better remain unacted upon than that a few lonely individuals should expose themselves to certain distress by making them the rules of their conduct You for instance you my Adeline what misery— Here his voice again faltered and emotion impeded his utterance
Live—do but live exclaimed Adeline passionately and I can know of misery but the name
But I cannot live I cannot live replied Glenmurray and the sooner I die the better—for thus to waste your youth and health in the dreadful solitude of a sickroom is insupportable to me
O Glenmurray replied Adeline fondly throwing herself on his neck could you but live free from any violent pain and were neither you nor I ever to leave this room again believe me I should not have a wish beyond it To see you to hear you to prove to you how much I love you would indeed it would be happiness sufficient for me After this burst of true and heartfelt tenderness there was a pause of some moments Glenmurray felt too much to speak and Adeline was sobbing on his pillow At length she pathetically again exclaimed Live only live and I am blest
But I cannot live I cannot live again replied Glenmurray and when I die what will become of you
I care not cried Adeline if I lose you may the same grave receive us
But it will not my dearest—grief does not kill and entailed as my estate is I have nothing to leave you and though richly qualified to undertake the care of children in order to maintain yourself your unfortunate connexion and singular opinions will be an eternal bar to your being so employed O Adeline these cutting fears these dreadful reflections are indeed the bitterness of death but there is one way of alleviating my pangs
Name it replied Adeline with quickness
But you must promise then to hear me with patience—Had I been able to live through my illness I should have conjured you to let me endeavour to restore you to your place in society and consequently to your usefulness by making you my wife and young and I may add innocent and virtuous as you are I doubt not but the world would at length have received you into its favour again
But you must you will you shall live interrupted Adeline and I shall be your happy wife
Not mine replied Glenmurray laying an emphasis on the last word
Adeline started and fixing her eyes wildly on his demanded what he meant
I mean replied he to prevail on you to make my last moments happy by promising some time hence to give yourself a tender a respectable and a legal protector
O Glenmurray exclaimed Adeline and can you insult my tenderness for you with such a proposal If I can even survive you do you think that I can bear to give you a successor in my affection or how can you bear to imagine that I shall
Because my love for you is without selfishness and I wish you to be happy even though another makes you so The lover or the husband who wishes the woman of his affection to form no second attachment is in my opinion a selfish contemptible being Perhaps I do not expect that you will ever feel for another man an attachment like that which has subsisted between us—the first affection of young and impassioned hearts but I am sure that you may again feel love enough to make yourself and the man of your choice perfectly happy and I hope and trust that you will be so
And forget you I suppose interrupted Adeline reproachfully
Not so I would have you remember me always but with a chastized and even a pleasing sorrow nay I would wish you to imagine me a sort of guardian spirit watching your actions and enjoying your happiness
I have listened to you cried Adeline in a tone of suppressed anguish and I trust with tolerable patience there is one thing yet for me to learn—the name of the object whom you wish me to marry for I suppose he is found
He is returned Glenmurray Berrendale loves you and he it is whom I wish you to choose
I thought so exclaimed Adeline rising and traversing the room hastily and wringing her hands
But wherefore does his name said Glenmurray excite such angry emotion Perhaps selflove makes me recommend him continued he forcing a smile as he is reckoned like me and I thought that likeness might make him more agreeable to you
Only the more odious impatiently interrupted Adeline To look like you and not be you Oh insupportable idea she exclaimed throwing herself on Glenmurrays pillow and pressing his burning temples to her cold cheek
Adeline said Glenmurray solemnly this is perhaps the last moment of confidential and uninterrupted intercourse that we shall ever have together Adeline started but spoke not allow me therefore to tell you it is my dying request that you would endeavour to dispose your mind in favour of Berrendale and to become in time his wife Circumstanced as you are your only chance for happiness is becoming a wife but it is too certain that few men worthy of you in the most essential points will be likely to marry you after your connexion with me
Strange prejudice cried Adeline to consider as my disgrace what I deem my glory
Glenmurray continued thus Berrendale himself has a great deal of the old school about him but I have convinced him that you are not to be classed with the frail of your sex and that you are one of the purest as well as loveliest of human beings
And did he want to be convinced of this cried Adeline indignantly and yet you advise me to marry him
My dearest love replied Glenmurray in all cases the most we can expect is to choose the best possible means of happiness Berrendale is not perfect but I am convinced that you would commit a fatal error in not making him your husband and when I tell you it is my dying request that you should do so—
If you wish me to retain my senses exclaimed Adeline repeat that dreadful phrase no more
I will not say any more at all now faintly observed Glenmurray for I am exhausted—still as morning begins to dawn I should like to sit up in my bed and gaze on it perhaps for— Here Adeline put her hand to his mouth Glenmurray kissed it sighed and did not finish the sentence She then opened the shutters to let in the rising splendour of day and turning round towards Glenmurray almost shrieked with terror at seeing the visible alteration a night had made in his appearance while the yellow rays of the dawn played on his sallow cheek and his dark curls once crisped and glossy hung faint and moist on his beating temples
It is strange Adeline said Glenmurray but with great effort that even in my situation the sight of morning and the revival as it were of nature seems to invigorate my whole frame I long to breathe the freshness of its breeze also
Adeline conscious for the first time that all hope was over opened the window and felt even her sick soul and languid frame revived by the chill but refreshing breeze To Glenmurray it imparted a feeling of physical pleasure to which he had long been a stranger I breathe freely he exclaimed I feel alive again—and strange as it may seem Adelines hopes began to revive also—I feel as if I could sleep now said Glenmurray the feverish restlessness seems abated but lest my dreams be disturbed promise me ere I lie down again that you will behave kindly to Berrendale
Impossible The only tie that bound me to him is broken—I thought he sincerely sympathized with me in my wishes for your recovery but now that as he loves me his wishes must be in direct opposition to mine—I cannot indeed I cannot endure the sight of him
Glenmurray could not reply to this natural observation he knew that in a similar situation his feelings would have been like Adelines and pressing her hand with all the little strength left him he said Poor Berrendale and tried to compose himself to sleep while Adeline lost in sad contemplation threw herself in a chair by his bedside and anxiously awaited the event of his reawaking
But it was not long before Adeline herself exhausted both in body and mind fell into a deep sleep and it was midday before she awoke for no careless heavytreading and hired nurse now watched the slumbers of the unhappy lovers but the mulatto stepping light as air and afraid even of breathing lest she should disturb their repose had assumed her station at the bedside and taken every precaution lest any noise should awake them Hers was the service of the heart and there is none like it
At twelve oclock Adeline awoke and her first glance met the dark eyes of Savanna kindly fixed upon her Adeline started not immediately recollecting who it could be but in a moment the idea of the mulatto and of the service which she had rendered her recurred to her mind and diffused a sensation of pleasure through her frame There is a being whom I have served said Adeline to herself and extending her hand to Savanna she started from her seat invigorated by the thought but she felt depressed again by the consciousness that she who had been able to impart so much joy and help to another was herself a wretch for ever and in a moment her eyes filled with tears while the mulatto gazed on her with a look of inquiring solicitude
Poor Savanna cried Adeline in a low and plaintive tone
There are moments when the sound of ones own voice has a mournful effect on ones feelings—this was one of those moments to Adeline the pathos of her own tone overcame her and she burst into tears but Glenmurray slept on and Adeline hoped nothing would suddenly disturb his rest when Berrendale opened the door with what appeared unnecessary noise and Glenmurray hastily awoke
Adeline immediately started from her seat and looking at him with great indignation demanded why he came in in such a manner when he knew Mr Glenmurray was asleep
Berrendale shocked and alarmed at Adelines words and expression so unlike her usual manner stammered out an excuse Another time Sir replied Adeline coldly I hope you will be more careful
What is the matter said Glenmurray raising himself in the bed Are you scolding Adeline If so let me hear you I like novelty
Here Adeline and Berrendale both hastened to him and Adeline almost looked with complacency on Berrendale when Glenmurray declaring himself wonderfully refreshed by his long sleep expressed a great desire for his breakfast and said he had a most voracious appetite
But to all Berrendales attentions she returned the most forbidding reserve nor could she for a moment lose the painful idea that the death of Glenmurray would be to him a source of joy not of anguish Berrendale was not slow to observe this change in her conduct and he conceived that as he knew Glenmurray had mentioned his pretensions to her his absence would be of more service to his wishes than his presence and he resolved to leave Richmond that afternoon—especially as he had a dinner engagement at a tavern in London which in spite of love and friendship he was desirous of keeping
He was not mistaken in his ideas the countenance of Adeline assumed less severity when he mentioned his intention of going away nor could she express regret at his resolution even though Glenmurray with anxious earnestness requested him to stay But Glenmurray entreated in vain used to consider his own interest and pleasure in preference to that of others Berrendale resolved to go and resisted the prayers of a man who had often obliged him with the greatest difficulty to himself
Well then said Glenmurray mournfully if you must go God bless you I wish you Charles all possible earthly happiness nay I have done all I can to ensure it you but you have disappointed me I hoped to have joined your hand in my last moments to that of this dear girl and to have bequeathed her in the most solemn manner to your care and tenderness but no matter farewell we shall probably meet no more
Here Berrendales heart failed him and he almost resolved to stay but a look of angry repugnance which he saw on Adelines countenance even amidst her sorrow got the better of his kind emotions by wounding his selflove and grasping Glenmurrays hand and saying I shall be back in a day or two he rushed out of the room
I am sorry Mr Berrendale is forced to go said Adeline involuntarily when the street door closed after him
Had you condescended to tell him so he would undoubtedly have staid replied Glenmurray rather peevishly Adeline instantly felt and regretted the selfishness of her conduct To avoid the sight of a disagreeable object she had given pain to Glenmurray or rather she had not done her utmost to prevent his being exposed to it
Forgive me said Adeline bursting into tears I own I thought only of myself when I forbore to urge his stay Alas with you and you alone I believe is the gratification of self always a secondary consideration
You forget that I am a philanthropist replied Glenmurray and cannot bear to be praised even by you at the expense of my fellowcreatures But come hasten dinner my breakfast agreed with me so well that I am impatient for another meal
You certainly are better today exclaimed Adeline with unwonted cheerfulness
My feelings are more tolerable at least replied Glenmurray and Adeline and the mulatto began to prepare the dinner immediately How often during her attendance on Glenmurray had she recollected the words of her grandmother and blessed her for having taught her to be useful
As soon as dinner was over Glenmurray complained of being drowsy still he declared he would not go to bed till he had seen the sun set as he had that day for the second time since his illness seen it rise and therefore when it was setting Adeline and Savanna led him into a room adjoining which had a western aspect Glenmurray fixed his eyes on the crimson horizon with a peculiar expression and his lips seemed to murmur For the last time Let me breathe the evening air too once more said he
It is too chill dear Glenmurray
It will not hurt me replied Glenmurray and Adeline complied with his request
The breeze of evening is not refreshing like that of morning he observed but the beauty of the setting is perhaps superior to that of the rising sun—they are both glorious sights and I have enjoyed them both today nor have I for years experienced so strong a feeling of devotion
Thank God cried Adeline O Glenmurray there has been one thing only wanting to the completion of our union and that was that we should worship together
Perhaps had I remained longer here replied Glenmurray we might have done so for believe me Adeline though my feelings have continually hurried me into adoration of the Supreme Being I have often wished my homage to be as regular and as founded on immutable conviction as it once was but it is too late now for amendment though alas not for regret deep regret yet He who reads the heart knows that my intentions were pure and that I was not fixed in the stubbornness of error
Let us change this discourse cried Adeline seeing on Glenmurrays countenance an expression of uncommon sadness which he from a regard to her feelings struggled to cover He did indeed feel sadness—a sadness of the most painful nature and while Adeline hung over him with all the anxious and soothing attention of unbounded love he seemed to shrink from her embrace with horror and turning away his head feebly murmured O Adeline this faithful kindness wounds me to the very soul Alas alas how little have I deserved it
If Glenmurray who had been the means of injuring the woman he loved merely by following the dictates of his conscience and a love of what he imagined to be truth without any view of his own benefit or the gratification of his personal wishes felt thus acutely the anguish of selfupbraiding—what ought to be and what must be sooner or later the agony and remorse of that man who merely for the gratification of his own illicit desires has seduced the woman whom he loved from the path of virtue and ruined for ever her reputation and her peace of mind
It is too late now for you to sit at an open window indeed it is cried Adeline after having replied to Glenmurrays selfreproaches by the touching language of tears and incoherent expressions of confiding and unchanged attachment and as you are evidently better today do not by breathing too much cold air run the risk of making yourself worse again
Would I were really better would I could live passionately exclaimed Glenmurray but indeed I do feel stronger tonight than I have felt for many months In a moment the fine eyes of Adeline were raised to heaven with an expression of devout thankfulness and eager to make the most of a change so favourable she hurried Glenmurray back to his chamber and with a feeling of renewed hope sat by to watch his slumbers She had not sat long before the door opened and the little tawny boy entered He had watched all day to see the good lady as he called Adeline but as she had not left Glenmurrays chamber except to prepare dinner he had been disappointed so he was resolved to seek her in her own apartment He had bought some cakes with the penny which Adeline had given him and he was eager to give her a piece of them
Hush cried Adeline as she held out her hand to him and he in a whisper crying Bite held his purchase to her lips Adeline tasted it said it was very good and giving him a halfpenny the tawny boy disappeared again the noise he made as he bounded down the stairs woke Glenmurray Adeline was sitting on the side of the bed and as he turned round to sleep again he grasped her hand in his and its feverish touch damped her hopes and reawakened her fears For a short time she mournfully gazed on his flushed cheek and then gently sliding off the bed and dropping on one knee she addressed the Deity in the language of humble supplication
Insensibly she ceased to pray in thought only and the lowlymurmured prayer became audible Again Glenmurray awoke and Adeline reproached herself as the cause
My rest was uneasy cried he and I rejoice that you woke me besides I like to hear you—Go on my dearest girl there is a something in the breathings of your pious fondness that soothes me added he pressing the hand he held to his parched lips
Adeline obeyed and as she continued she felt ever and anon by the pressure of Glenmurrays hand how much he was affected by what she uttered
But must he be taken from me she exclaimed in one part of her prayer Father if it be possible permit this cup to pass by me untasted Here she felt the hand of Glenmurray grasp hers most vehemently and delighted to think that he had pleasure in hearing her she went on to breathe forth all the wishes of a trembling yet confiding spirit till overcome with her own emotions she ceased and arose and leaning over Glenmurrays pillow was going to take his hand—but the hand which she pressed returned not her pressure the eyes were fixed whose approving glance she sought and the horrid truth rushed at once on her mind that the last convulsive grasp had been an eternal farewell and that he had in that grasp expired
Alas what preparation however long what anticipation however sure can enable the mind to bear a shock like this It came on Adeline like a thunderstroke she screamed not she moved not but fixing a dim and glassy eye on the pale countenance of her lover she seemed as insensible as poor Glenmurray himself and hours might have elapsed—hours immediately fatal both to her senses and existence—ere any one had entered the room since she had given orders to be disturbed by no one had not the tawny boy encouraged by his past success stolen in again unperceived to give her a piece of the apple which he had bought with her last bounty
The delighted boy tripped gaily to the bedside holding up his treasure but he started back and screamed in all the agony of terror at the sight which he beheld—the face of Glenmurray ghastly and the mouth distorted as if in the last agony and Adeline in the stupor of despair
The affectionate boys repeated screams soon summoned the whole family into the room while he vainly hanging on Adelines arm begged her to speak to him But nothing could at first rouse Adeline not even Savannas loud and extravagant grief When however they tried to force her from the body she recovered her recollection and her strength and it was with great difficulty she could be carried out of the room and kept out when they had accomplished their purpose
But Savanna was sure that looking at such a sad sight would kill her mistress for she should die herself if she saw William dead she declared and the people of the house agreed with her They knew not that grief is the best medicine for itself and that the overcharged heart is often relieved by the sight which standersby conceive likely to snap the very threads of existence
As Adeline and Glenmurray had both of them excited some interest in Richmond the news of the death of the latter was immediately abroad and it was told to Mrs Pemberton with a pathetic account of Adelines distress just as the carriage was preparing to convey her and her sick friend on their way to Lisbon It was a relation to call forth all the humanity of Mrs Pembertons nature She forgot Adelines crime in her distress and knowing she had no female friend with her she hastened on the errand of pity to the abode of vice Alas Mrs Pemberton had learnt but too well to sympathize in grief like that of Adeline She had seen a beloved husband expire in her arms and had afterwards followed two children to the grave But she had taken refuge from sorrow in the active duties of her religion and was enabled to become a teacher of those truths to others by which she had so much benefited herself
Mrs Pemberton entered the room just as Adeline on her knees was conjuring the persons with her to allow her to see Glenmurray once more
Adeline did not at all observe the entrance of Mrs Pemberton who in spite of the selfcommand which her principles and habits gave her was visibly affected when she beheld the mourners tearless affliction and the hands which on her entrance were quietly crossed on each other confining the modest folds of her simple cloak were suddenly and involuntarily separated by the irresistible impulse of pity while catching hold of the wall for support she leaned against it covering her face with her hands Let me see him only let me see him once more cried Adeline gazing on Mrs Pemberton but unconscious who she was
Thou shalt see him replied Mrs Pemberton with considerable effort give me thy hand and I will go with thee to the chamber of death Adeline gave a scream of mournful joy at this permission and suffered herself to be led into Glenmurrays apartment As soon as she entered it she sprang to the bed and throwing herself beside the corpse began to contemplate it with an earnestness and firmness which surprised every one Mrs Pemberton also fixedly gazed on the wan face of Glenmurray And art thou fallen she exclaimed thou wise in thine own conceit who presumedst perhaps sometimes to question even the existence of the Most High and to set up thy vain chimeras of yesterday against the wisdom and experience of centuries Child of the dust child of error what art thou now and whither is thy guilty spirit fled But balmy is the hand of affliction and she thy mourning victim may learn to bless the hand that chastizes her nor add to the offences which will weigh down thy soul a dread responsibility for hers
Here she was interrupted by the voice of Adeline who in a deep and hollow tone was addressing the unconscious corpse For Gods sake speak for this silence is dreadful—it looks so like death
Poor thing said Mrs Pemberton kneeling beside her and is it even thus with thee Would thou couldst shed tears afflicted one
It is very strange continued Adeline he loved me so tenderly and he used to speak and look so tenderly and now see how he neglects me Glenmurray my love for mercys sake speak to me As she said this she laid her lips to his but feeling on them the icy coldness of death she started back screaming in all the violence of phrensy and recovered to the full consciousness of her misfortune she was carried back to her room in violent convulsions
Would I could stay and watch over thee said Mrs Pemberton as she gazed on Adelines distorted countenance for thou young as thou art wert well known in the chambers of sorrow and of sickness and I should rejoice to pay back to thee part of the debt of those whom thy presence so often soothed but I must leave thee to the care of others
You leave her to my care cried Savanna reproachfully—who felt even her violent sorrow suspended while Mrs Pemberton spoke in accents at once sad yet soothing—you leave her to my care and who watch who love her more than me
Good Savanna replied Mrs Pemberton pressing the mulattos hand as she returned to her station beside Adeline who was fallen into a calm slumber to thy care with confidence I commit her But perhaps there may be an immediate necessity for money and I had better leave this with thee she added taking out her purse but Savanna assured her that Mr Berrendale was sent for and to him all those concerns were to be left Mrs Pemberton stood for a few moments looking at Adeline in silence then slowly left the house
When Adeline awoke she seemed so calm and resigned that her earnest request of being allowed to pass the night alone was granted especially as Mrs Pemberton had desired that her wish even to see Glenmurray again should be complied with but the faithful mulatto watched till morning at the door No bed that night received the weary limbs of Adeline She threw herself on the ground and in alternate prayer and phrensy passed the first night of her woe towards morning however she fell into a perturbed sleep But when the light of day darting into the room awakened her to consciousness and when she recollected that he to whom it usually summoned her existed no longer that the eyes which but the preceding morning had opened with enthusiastic ardour to hail its beams were now for ever closed and that the voice which used to welcome her so tenderly she should never never hear again the forlornness of her situation the hopelessness of her sorrow burst upon her with a violence too powerful for her reason and when Berrendale arrived he found Glenmurray in his shroud and Adeline in a state of insanity For six months her phrensy resisted all the efforts of medicine and the united care which Berrendales love and Savannas grateful attachment could bestow while with Adelines want of their care seemed to increase their desire of bestowing it and their affection gathered new strength from the duration of her helpless malady So true is it that we become attached more from the aid which we give than that which we receive and that the love of the obliger is more apt to increase than that of the obliged by the obligation conferred At length however Adelines reason slowly yet surely returned and she by degrees learnt to contemplate with firmness and even calmness the loss which she had sustained She even looked on Berrendale and his attentions not with anger but gratitude and complacency she had even pleasure in observing the likeness he bore Glenmurray she felt that it endeared him to her In the first paroxysms of her phrensy the sight of him threw her into fits of ravings but as she grew better she had pleasure in seeing him and when on her recovery she heard how much she was indebted to his persevering tenderness she felt for him a decided regard which Berrendale tried to flatter himself might be ripened into love
But he was mistaken the heart of Adeline was formed to feel violent and lasting attachments only She had always loved her mother with a tenderness of a most uncommon nature she had felt for Glenmurray the fondest enthusiasm of passion she was now separated from them both But her mother still lived and though almost hopeless of ever being restored to her society all her love for her returned and she pined for that consoling fondness those soothing attentions which in a time of such affliction a mother on a widowed daughter can alone bestow
Yet surely cried she in the solitude of her own room her oath cannot now forbid her to forgive me for am I not as wretched in love nay more far more so than she has been Yes—yes I will write to her besides he wished me to do so meaning Glenmurray whom she never named and she did write to her according to the address which Dr Norberry sent soon after he returned to his own house Still week after week elapsed and month after month but no answer came
Again she wrote and again she was disappointed though her loss her illness in consequence of it her pecuniary distress and the large debt which she had incurred to Berrendale were all detailed in a manner calculated to move the most obdurate heart What then could Adeline suppose Perhaps her mother was ill perhaps she was dead and her reason was again on the point of yielding to this horrible supposition when she received her two letters in a cover directed in her mothers handwriting
At first she was overwhelmed by this dreadful proof of the continuance of Mrs Mowbrays deep resentment but ever sanguine the circumstance of Mrs Mowbrays having written the address herself appeared to Adeline a favourable symptom and with renewed hope she wrote to Dr Norberry to become her mediator once more but to this letter no answer was returned and Adeline concluded her only friend had died of the fever which Mrs Norberry had mentioned in her letter
Then I have lost my only friend cried Adeline wringing her hands in agony as this idea recurred to her Your only friend repeated Berrendale who happened to be present O Adeline
Her heart smote her as he said this My oldest friend I should have said she replied holding out her hand to him and Berrendale thought himself happy
But Adeline was far from meaning to give the encouragement which this action seemed to bestow wholly occupied by her affliction her mind had lost its energy and she would not have made an effort to dissipate her grief by employment and exertion had not that virtuous pride and delicacy which in happier hours had been the ornament of her character rebelled against the consciousness of owing pecuniary obligations to the lover whose suit she was determined to reject and urged her to make some vigorous attempt to maintain herself
Many were the schemes which occurred to her but none seemed so practicable as that of keeping a dayschool in some village near the metropolis—True Glenmurray had said that her having been his mistress would prevent her obtaining scholars but his fears perhaps were stronger than his justice in this case These fears however she found existed in Berrendales mind also though he ventured only to hint them with great caution
You think then no prudent parents if my story should be known to them would send their children to me said Adeline to Berrendale
I fear—I—that is to say I am sure they would not
Under such circumstances said Adeline you yourself would not send a child to my school
Why—really—I—as the world goes replied Berrendale
I am answered said Adeline with a look and tone of displeasure and retired to her chamber intending not to return till Berrendale was gone to his own lodging But her heart soon reproached her with unjust resentment and coming back she apologized to Berrendale for being angry at his laudable resolution of acting according to those principles which he thought most virtuous especially as she claimed for herself a similar right
Berrendale gratified by her apology replied that he saw no objection to her plan if she chose to deny him the happiness of sharing his income with her provided she would settle in a village where she was not likely to be known and change her name
Change my name Never Concealment of any kind almost always implies the consciousness of guilt and while my heart does not condemn me my conduct shall not seem to accuse me I will go to whatever place you shall recommend but I beg your other request may be mentioned no more
Berrendale glad to be forgiven on any terms promised to comply with her wishes and he having recommended to her to settle at a village some few miles north of London Adeline hired there a small but commodious lodging and issued immediately cards of advertisement stating what she meant to teach and on what terms while Berrendale took lodgings within a mile of her and the faithful mulatto attended her as a servant of allwork
Fortunately at this time a lady at Richmond who had a son the age of the tawny boy became so attached to him that she was desirous of bringing him up to be the playfellow and future attendant on her son and the mulatto pleased to have him so well disposed of resisted the poor little boys tears and reluctance at the idea of being separated from her and Adeline and before she left Richmond she had the satisfaction of seeing him comfortably settled in the house of his patroness
Adeline succeeded in her undertaking even beyond her utmost wishes Though unknown and unrecommended there was in her countenance and manner a something so engaging so strongly inviting confidence and so decisively bespeaking the gentlewoman that she soon excited in the village general respect and attention and no sooner were scholars entrusted to her care than she became the idol of her pupils and their improvement was rapid in proportion to the love which they bore her
This fortunate circumstance proved a balm to the wounded mind of Adeline She felt that she had recovered her usefulness—that desideratum in morals and life spite of her misfortunes acquired a charm in her eyes True it was that she was restored to her capability of being useful by being where she was unknown and because the mulatto unknown to her had described her as reduced to earn her living on account of the death of the man to whom she was about to be married but she did not revert to the reasons of her being so generally esteemed she contented herself with the consciousness of being so and for some months she was tranquil though not happy But her tranquillity was destined to be of short duration
CHAPTER XVIII
The village in which Adeline resided happened to be the native place of Mary Warner the servant whom she had been forced to dismiss at Richmond and who having gone from Mrs Pemberton to another situation which she had also quitted came to visit her friends
The wish of saying lessening things of those of whom one hears extravagant commendations is I fear common to almost every one even where the object praised comes in no competition with oneself—and when Mary Warner heard from every quarter of the grace and elegance affability and active benevolence of the new comer it was no doubt infinitely gratifying to her to be able to exclaim—Mowbray did you say her name is La I dares to say it is my old mistress who was kept by one Mr Glenmurray But so greatly were her auditors prepossessed in favour of Adeline that very few of them could be prevailed upon to believe Marys supposition was just and so much was she piqued at the disbelief which she met with that she declared she would go to church the next Sunday to shame the hussey and go up and speak to her in the churchyard before all the people
Ah do so if you ever saw our Miss Mowbray before was the answer and Mary eagerly looked forward to the approaching Sunday Meanwhile as we are all of us but too apt to repeat stories to the prejudice of others even though we do not believe them this strange assertion of Mary was circulated through the village even by Adelines admirers and the next Sunday was expected by the unconscious Adeline alone with no unusual eagerness
Sunday came and Adeline as she was wont to do attended the service but from the situation of her pew she could neither see Mary nor be seen by her till church was over Adeline then as usual was walking down the broad walk of the churchyard surrounded by the parents of the children who came to her school and receiving from them the customary marks of respect when Mary bustling through the crowd accosted her with—So—your sarvant Miss Mowbray I am glad to see you here in such a respectable situation
Adeline though in the gailydressed lady who accosted her she had some difficulty in recognizing her quondam servant recollected the pert shrill voice and insolent manner of Mary immediately and involuntarily starting when she addressed her from painful associations and fear of impending evil she replied How are you Mary in a faltering tone
Then it is Marys Miss Mowbray whispered Marys auditors of the day before to each other while Mary proud of her success looked triumphantly at them and was resolved to pursue the advantage which she had gained
So you have lost Mr Glenmurray I find continued Mary
Adeline spoke not but walked hastily on—but Mary kept pace with her speaking as loud as she could
And did the little one live pray
Still Adeline spoke not
What sort of a gettingup had you Miss Mowbray
At this mischievouslyintended question Adelines other sensations were lost in strong indignation and resuming all the modest but collected dignity of her manner she turned round and fixing her eyes steadily on the insulting girl exclaimed aloud Woman I never injured you either in thought word or deed—Whence comes it then that you endeavour to make the finger of scorn point at me and make me shrink with shame and confusion from the eye of observation
Woman indeed replied Mary—but she was not allowed to proceed for a gentleman hastily stepped forward crying It is impossible for us to suffer such insults to be offered to Miss Mowbray—I desire therefore that you will take your daughter away turning to Marys father and if possible teach her better manners Having said this he overtook the agitated Adeline and offering her his arm saw her home to her lodgings while those who had heard with surprise and suspicion the strange and impertinent questions and insolent tone of Mary resumed in a degree their confidence in Adeline and turned a disgusted and deaf ear to the hysterical vehemence with which the halfsobbing Mary defended herself and vilified Adeline as her father and brotherinlaw almost by force led her out of the churchyard
The gentleman who had so kindly stepped forward to the assistance of Adeline was Mr Beauclerc the surgeon of the village a man of considerable abilities and liberal principles and when he bade Adeline farewell he said My wife will do herself the pleasure of calling on you this evening then kindly pressing her hand he with a respectful bow took his leave
Luckily for Adeline Berrendale was detained in town that day and she was spared the mortification of showing herself to him writhing as she was under the agonies of public shame for such it seemed to her Convinced as she was of the light in which she must have appeared to the persons around her from the malicious interrogatories of Mary—convinced too as she was more than beginning to be of the fallacy of the reasoning which had led her to deserve and even to glory in the situation which she now blushed to hear disclosed—and conscious as she was that to remain in the village and expect to retain her school was now impossible—she gave herself up to a burst of sorrow and despondence during which her only consolation was that it was not witnessed by Berrendale
It never for a moment entered into the ingenuous mind of Adeline that her declaration would have more weight than that of Mary Warner and that she might with almost a certainty of being believed deny her charge entirely on the contrary she had no doubt but that Mrs Beauclerc was coming to inquire into the grounds for Marys gross address and she was resolved to confess to her all the circumstances of her story
After church in the afternoon Mrs Beauclerc arrived and Adeline observed with pleasure that her manner was even kinder than usual it was such as to ensure the innocent of the most strenuous support and to invite the guilty to confidence and penitence
Never my dear Miss Mowbray said Mrs Beauclerc did I call on you with more readiness than now as I come assured that you will give me not only the most ample authority to contradict but the fullest means to confute the vile calumnies which that malicious girl Mary Warner has ever since she entered the village been propagating against you but indeed she is so little respected in her rank of life and you so highly in yours that your mere denial of the truth of her statement will to every candid mind be sufficient to clear your character
Adeline never before was so strongly tempted to violate the truth and there was a friendly earnestness in Mrs Beauclercs manner which proved that it would be almost cruel to destroy the opinion which she entertained of her virtue For a moment Adeline felt disposed to yield to the temptation but it was only for a moment—and in a hurried and broken voice she replied Mary Warner has asserted of me nothing but— Here her voice faltered
Nothing but falsehoods no doubt interrupted Mrs Beauclerc triumphantly—I thought so
Nothing but the truth resumed Adeline
Impossible cried Mrs Beauclerc dropping the cold hand which she held and Adeline covering her face and throwing herself back in the chair sobbed aloud
Mrs Beauclerc was herself for some time unable to speak but at length she faintly said—So sensible so pious so wellinformed and so pureminded as you seem—to what strange arts what wicked seductions did you fall a victim
To no arts—to no seductions—replied Adeline recovering all her energy at this insinuation against Glenmurray My fall from virtue as you would call it was I may say from love of what I thought virtue and if there be any blame it attaches merely to my confidence in my lovers wisdom and my own too obstinate selfconceit But you dear madam deserve to hear my whole story and if you can favour me with an hours attention I hope at least to convince you that I was worthy of a better fate than to be publicly disgraced by a malicious and ignorant girl
Mrs Beauclerc promised the most patient attention and Adeline related the eventful history of her life slightly dwelling on those parts of it which in any degree reflected on her mother and extolling most highly her sense her accomplishments and her maternal tenderness When she came to the period of Glenmurrays illness and death she broke abruptly off and rushed into her own chamber and it was some minutes before she could return to Mrs Beauclerc or before her visitor could wish her to return as she was herself agitated and affected by the relation which she had heard—and when Adeline came in she threw her arms round her neck and pressed her to her heart with a feeling of affection that spoke consolation to the wounded spirit of the mourner
She then resumed her narration—and having concluded it Mrs Beauclerc seizing her hand exclaimed For Gods sake marry Mr Berrendale immediately and adjure for ever at the foot of the altar those errors in opinion to which all your misery has been owing
Would I could atone for them some other way she replied
Impossible and if you have any regard for me you will become the wife of your generous lover for then and not till then can I venture to associate with you
I thought so cried Adeline I thought all idea of remaining here with any chance of keeping my scholars was now impossible
It would not be so replied Mrs Beauclerc if every one thought like me I should consider your example as a warning to all young people and to preserve my children from evil I should only wish them to hear your story as it inculcates most powerfully how vain are personal graces talents sweetness of temper and even active benevolence to ensure respectability and confer happiness without a strict regard to the longestablished rules for conduct and a continuance in those paths of virtue and decorum which the wisdom of ages has pointed out to the steps of every one—But others will no doubt consider that continuing to patronize you would be patronizing vice and my rank in life is not high enough to enable me to countenance you with any chance of leading others to follow my example while I should not be able to serve you but should infallibly lose myself But some time hence as the wife of Mr Berrendale I might receive you as your merits deserve till then— Here Mrs Beauclerc paused and she hesitated to add we meet no more
Indeed it was long before the parting took place Mrs Beauclerc had justly appreciated the merits of Adeline and thought she had found in her a friend and companion for years to come besides her children were most fondly attached to her and Mrs Beauclerc while she contemplated their daily improvement under her care felt grateful to Adeline for the unfolding excellencies of her daughters Still to part with her was unavoidable but the pang of separation was in a degree soothed to Adeline by the certainty which Mrs Beauclercs sorrow gave her that spite of her errors she had inspired a real friendship in the bosom of a truly virtuous and respectable woman and this idea gave a sensation of joy to her heart to which it had long been a stranger
The next morning some of the parents whom Marys tale had not yet reached sent their children as usual But Adeline refused to enter upon any school duties bidding them affectionately farewell and telling them that she was going to write to their parents as she was obliged to leave her present situation and declining keeping school meant to reside she believed in London
The children on hearing this looked at each other with almost tearful consternation and Adeline observed with pleasure the interest which she had made to herself in their young hearts After they were gone she sent a circular letter to her friends in the village importing that she was under the necessity of leaving her present residence but that whatever her future situation might be she should always remember with gratitude the favours which she had received at ——
The necessity that drove her away was by this time very well understood by every one but Mrs Beauclerc took care to tell those who mentioned the subject to her the heads of Adelines story and to add always and I have reason to believe that as soon as she is settled in town she will be extremely well married
To the mulatto the change in Adelines plans was particularly pleasing as it would bring her nearer her son and nearer William from whom nothing but a sense of grateful duty to Adeline would so long have divided her But Savanna imagined that Adelines removal was owing to her having at last determined to marry Mr Berrendale an event which she for Adelines sake earnestly wished to take place though for her own she was undecided whether to desire it or not as Mr Berrendale might not perhaps be as contented with her services as Adeline was
While these thoughts were passing in Savannas mind and her warm and varying feelings were expressed by alternate smiles and tears Mr Berrendale arrived from town and as Savanna opened the door to him she half whimpering half smiling dropped him a very respectful curtsey and looked at him with eyes full of unusual significance
Well Savanna what has happened—Anything new or extraordinary since my absence said Berrendale
Me tink not of wat hav appen but what will happen replied Savanna
And what is going to happen returned Berrendale seating himself in the parlour and where is your mistress
She dress herself that dear misses replied Savanna lingering with the door in her hand and I—ope to have a dear massa too
What cried Berrendale starting wildly from his seat what did you say
Why me ope my misses be married soon
Married to whom cried Berrendale seizing her hand and almost breathless with alarm
Why to you sure exclaimed Savanna and den me hope you will not turn away poor Savanna
What reason you have my dear Savanna for talking thus I cannot tell nor dare I give way to the sweet hopes which you excite but if it be true that I may hope depend on it you shall cook my wedding dinner and then I am sure it will be a good one
Can full joy eat asked the mulatto thoughtfully
A good dinner is a good thing Savanna replied Berrendale and ought never to be slighted
Me good dinner day I marry but I not eat it—O sir pity people look best in dere wedding clothes but my William look well all day and every day and perhaps you will too sir and den I ope to cook your wedding dinner next day dinner and all your dinners
And so you shall Savanna cried Berrendale grasping her hand and I— Here the door opened and Adeline appeared who surprised at Berrendales familiarity with her servant looked gravely and stopped at the door with a look of cold surprise Berrendale awed into immediate respect—for what is so timid and respectful as a man truly in love—bowed low and lost in an instant all the hopes which had elevated his spirits to such an unusual degree
Adeline with an air of pique observed that she feared she interrupted them unpleasantly as something unusually agreeable and enlivening seemed to occupy them as she came in over which her entrance seemed to have cast a cloud
The mulatto had by this time retreated to the door and was on the point of closing it when Berrendale stammered out as well as he could Savanna was indeed raising my hopes to such an unexpected height that I felt almost bewildered with joy but the coldness of your manner Miss Mowbray has sobered me again
And what did Savanna say to you cried Adeline
I—I say cried Savanna returning dat is he say I should be let cook de wedding dinner
Adeline returning even paler than she was before desired her coldly to leave the room and seating herself at the greatest possible distance from Berrendale leaned for some time in silence on her hand—he not daring to interrupt her meditations But at last she said What could give rise to this singular conversation between you and Savanna I am wholly at a loss to imagine still I—I must own that it is not so illtimed as it would have been some weeks ago I will own that since yesterday I have been considering your generous proposals with the serious attention which they deserve
On hearing this which Adeline uttered with considerable effort Berrendale in a moment was at her side and almost at her feet
I—I wish you to return to your seat said Adeline coldly but hope had emboldened him and he chose to stay where he was
But before I require you to renew your promises or make any on my side it is proper that I should tell you what passed yesterday and if the additional load of obloquy which I have acquired does not frighten you from continuing your addresses— Here Adeline paused—and Berrendale rather drawing back then pushing his chair nearer her as he spoke gravely answered that his affection was proof against all trials
Adeline then briefly related the scene in the churchyard and her conversation with Mrs Beauclerc and concluded thus—In consequence of this and of the recollections of his advice and his decided opinion that by becoming the wife of a respectable man I could alone expect to recover my rank in society and consequently my usefulness I offer you my hand and promise in the course of a few months to become yours in the sight of God and man
And from no other reason—from no preference no regard for me demanded Berrendale reproachfully
Oh pardon me from decided preference there is not another being in the creation whom I could bear to call husband
Berrendale gratified and surprised attempted to take her hand but withdrawing it she continued thus—Still I almost scruple to let you unblasted as your prospects are take a wife a beggar blasted in reputation broken in spirits with a heart whose best affections lie buried in the grave and which can offer you in return for your faithful tenderness nothing but cold respect and esteem one too who is not only despicable to others but also selfcondemned
While Adeline said this Berrendale almost shuddering at the picture which she drew paced the room in great agitation and even the gratification of his passion used as he was to the indulgence of every wish seemed for a moment a motive not sufficiently powerful to enable him to unite his fate to that of a woman so degraded as Adeline appeared to be and he would perhaps have hesitated to accept the hand she offered had she not added as a contrast to the picture which she had drawn—But if in spite of all these unwelcome considerations you persist in your resolution of making me yours and I have resolution enough to conquer the repugnance that I feel to make a second connexion you may depend on possessing in me one who will study your happiness and wishes in the minutest particulars—one who will cherish you in sickness and in sorrow— here a twinge of the gout assisted Adelines appeal very powerfully and who conscious of the generosity of your attachment and her own unworthiness will strive by every possible effort not to remain your debtor even in affection
Saying this she put out her hand to Berrendale and that hand and the arm belonging to it were so beautiful and he had so often envied Glenmurray while he saw them tenderly supporting his head that while a vision of approaching gout and Adeline bending over his restless couch floated before him all his prudent considerations vanished and eagerly pressing the proffered hand to his lips he thanked her most ardently for her kind promise and putting his arm round her waist would have pressed her to his bosom
But the familiarity was illtimed—Adeline was already surprised and even shocked at the lengths to which she had gone and starting almost with loathing from his embrace she told him it grew late and it was time for him to go to his lodgings She then retired to her own room and spent half the night at least in weeping over the remembrance of Glenmurray and in loudly apostrophizing his departed spirit
The next day Adeline out of the money which she had earned discharged her lodgings and having written a farewell note to Mrs Beauclerc begging to hear of her now and then she and the mulatto proceeded to town with Berrendale in search of apartments and having procured them Adeline began to consider by what means till she could resolve to marry Berrendale she should help to maintain herself and also contrive to increase their income if she became his wife
The success which she had met with in instructing children led her to believe that she might succeed in writing little hymns and tales for their benefit a method of getting money which she looked upon to be more rapid and more lucrative than working plain or fancy works and in a short time a little volume was ready to be offered to a bookseller—nor was it offered in vain Glenmurrays bookseller accepted it and the sum which he gave though trifling imparted a balsam to the wounded mind of Adeline it seemed to open to her the path of independence and to give her in spite of her past errors the means of serving her fellowcreatures
But month after month elapsed and Glenmurray had been dead two years yet still Adeline could not prevail on herself to fix a time for her marriage
But next to the aversion she felt to marrying at all was that which she experienced at the idea of having no fortune to bestow on the disinterested Berrendale and so desirous was she of his acquiring some little property by his union with her that she resolved to ask counsels opinion on the possibility of her claiming a sum of money which Glenmurray had bequeathed to her but without as Berrendale had assured her the customary formalities
The money was near £300 but Berrendale had allowed it to go to Glenmurrays legal heir because he was sure that the writing which bequeathed it would not hold good in law Still Adeline was so unwilling to be under so many pecuniary obligations to a man whom she did not love that she resolved to take advice on the subject much against the will of Berrendale who thought the money for fees might as well be saved but as a chance for saving the fee he resolved to let Adeline go to the lawyers chambers alone thinking it likely that no fee would be accepted from so fine a woman Accordingly more alive to economy than to delicacy or decorum Berrendale when Adeline desiring a coach to be called summoned him to accompany her to the Temple pleaded terror of an impending fit of the gout and begged her to excuse his attendance and Adeline unsuspicious of the real cause of his refusal kindly expressing her sorrow for the one he feigned took the counsellors address and got into the coach Berrendale taking care to tell her as she got in that the fare was but a shilling
The gentleman Mr Langley to whom Adeline was going was celebrated for his abilities as a chamber counsellor and no less remarkable for his gallantries but Berrendale was not acquainted with this part of his history else he would not even to save a lawyers fee have exposed his intended wife to a situation of such extreme impropriety and Adeline was too much a stranger to the rules of general society to feel any great repugnance to go alone on an errand so interesting to her feelings
The coach having stopped near the entrance of the court to which she was directed Adeline resolving to walk home discharged the coach and knocked at the door of Mr Langleys chambers A very smart servant out of livery answered the knock and Mr Langley being at home Adeline was introduced into his apartment
Mr Langley though surprised at seeing a lady of a deportment so correct and of so dignified an appearance enter his room unattended was inspired with so much respect at the sight of Adeline whose mourning habit added to the interest which her countenance never failed to excite that he received her with bows down to the ground and leading her to a chair begged she would do him the honour to be seated and impart her commands
Adeline embarrassed she scarcely knew why at the novelty of her situation drew the paper from her pocket and presented it to him
Mr Berrendale recommended me to you sir said Adeline faintly
Berrendale Berrendale O aye—I remember—the cousin of Mr Glenmurray you know Mr Glenmurray too maam I presume pray how is he—Adeline unprepared for this question could not speak and the voluble counsellor went on—Oh—I ask your pardon madam I see—pray might I presume so far how long has that extraordinary clever man been lost to the world
More than two years sir replied Adeline faintly
You are—may I presume so far—you are his widow—Adeline bowed There was a something in Mr Langleys manner and look so like Sir Patricks that she could not bear to let him know she was only Glenmurrays companion
Gone more than two years and you still in deep mourning—Amiable susceptibility—How unlike the wives of the present day But I beg pardon—Now to business So saying he perused the paper which Adeline had given him in which Glenmurray simply stated that he bequeathed to Adeline Mowbray the sum of £260 in the 5 per cents but it was signed by only one witness
What do you wish to know Madam asked the counsellor
Whether this will be valid as it is not signed by two witnesses sir
Why—really not replied Langley though the heiratlaw if we have either equity or gallantry could certainly not refuse to fulfil what evidently was the intention of the testator—but then it is very surprising to me that Mr Glenmurray should have wished to leave any thing from the lady whom I have the honour to behold Pray madam—if I may presume to ask—Who is Adeline Mowbray
I—I am Adeline Mowbray replied Adeline in great confusion
You madam Bless me I presumed—and pray madam—if I may make so bold—what was your relationship to that wonderfully clever man—his niece—his cousin—or—
I was no relation of his said Adeline still more confused and this confusion confirmed the suspicions which Langley entertained and also brought to his recollection something which he had heard of Glenmurrays having a very elegant and accomplished mistress
Pardon me dear madam said Mr Langley I perceive now my mistake and I now perceive why Mr Glenmurray was so much the envy of those who had the honour of visiting at his house Pon my soul taking her hand which Adeline indignantly withdrew I am grieved beyond words at being unable to give you a more favourable opinion
But you said sir said Adeline that the heiratlaw if he had any equity would certainly be guided by the evident intention of the testator
I did madam replied the lawyer evidently piqued by the proud and cold air which Adeline assumed—but then—excuse me—the applicant would not stand much chance of being attended to who is neither the widow nor relation of Mr Glenmurray
I understand you sir replied Adeline and need trouble you no longer
Trouble my sweet girl returned Mr Langley call it not trouble I— Here his gallant effusions were interrupted by the sudden entrance of a very showy woman highly rouged and dressed in the extremity of the fashion and who in no very pleasant tone of voice exclaimed—I fear I interrupt you
Oh not in the least replied Langley blushing even more than Adeline my fair client was just going Allow me madam to see you to the door continued he attempting to take Adelines hand and accompanying her to the bottom of the first flight of stairs
Charming fine woman upon my soul cried he speaking through his shut teeth and forcibly squeezing her fingers as he spoke and if you ever want advice I should be proud to see you here with a significant smile Here Adeline too angry to speak put the fee in his hand which he insisted on returning and in the struggle he forcibly kissed the ungloved hand which was held out praising its beauty at the same time and endeavouring to close her fingers on the money but Adeline indignantly threw it on the ground and rushed down the remaining staircase overhearing the lady as she did so exclaim Langley is not that black mawkin gone yet Come up this moment you devil while Langley obsequiously replied Coming this moment my angel
Adeline felt so disappointed so ashamed and so degraded that she walked on some way without knowing whither she was going and when she recollected herself she found that she was wandering from court to court and unable to find the avenue to the street down which the coach had come while her very tall figure heightened colour and graceful carriage made her an object of attention to every one whom she met
At last she saw herself followed by two young men and as she walked very fast to avoid them she by accident turned into the very lane which she had been seeking but her pursuers kept pace with her and she overheard one of them say to the other A devilish fine girl moves well too—I cannot help thinking that I have seen her before
And I think so too—by her height it must be that sweet creature who lived at Richmond with that crazy fellow Glenmurray
Here Adeline relaxed in her pace the name of Glenmurray—that name which no one since his death had ventured to pronounce in her presence—had during the last half hour been pronounced several times and unable to support herself from a variety of emotions she stopped and leaned for support against the wall
How do you do my fleet and swift girl said one of the gentlemen—and Adeline roused at the insult looked at him proudly and angrily and walked on What angry If I may be so bold with a sneering smile fair creature may I ask where you live now
No sir replied Adeline you are wholly unknown to me
But were you to tell me where you live we might cease to be strangers pray who is your friend now
Here as his companion gave way to a loud fit of laughter Adeline clearly understood what he meant by the term friend and summoning up all her spirit she called a coach which luckily was passing and turning round to her tormentor with great dignity said—Though the situation sir in which I once was may in the eyes of the world and in yours authorize and excuse your present insulting address yet when I tell you that I am on the eve of marriage with a most respectable man I trust that you will feel the impropriety of your conduct and be convinced of the fruitlessness and impertinence of the questions which you have put to me
If this be the case madam cried the gentleman I beg your pardon and shall take my leave wishing you all possible happiness and begging you to attribute my impertinence wholly to my ignorance So saying he bowed and left her and Adeline was driven to her lodgings
Now said Adeline the die is cast—I have used the sacred name of wife to shield me from insult and I am therefore pledged to assume it directly Yes he was right—I find I must have a legal protector
She found Berrendale rather alarmed at her long absence and with a beating heart she related her adventures to him but when she said that Langley was not willing to take the fee he exclaimed Very genteel in him indeed I suppose you took him at his word
Good Heavens replied Adeline Do you think I would deign to owe such a man a pecuniary obligation—No indeed I threw it with proud indignation on the floor
What madness returned Berrendale you had much better have put it in your pocket
Mr Berrendale cried Adeline gravely and with a look bordering on contempt I trust that you are not in earnest for if these are your sentiments—if this is your delicacy sir—
Say no more dearest of women replied Berrendale pretending to laugh alarmed at the seriousness with which she spoke how could you for one moment suppose me in earnest Insolent coxcomb—I wish I had been there
I wish you had said Adeline for then no one would have dared to insult me and Berrendale delighted at this observation listened to the rest of her story with a spirit of indignant knighterrantry which he never experienced before and at the end of her narration he felt supremely happy for Adeline assured him that the next week she would make him her protector for life—and this assurance opened his heart so much that he vowed he would not condescend to claim of the heiratlaw the pitiful sum which he might think proper to withhold
To be brief—Adeline kept her word and resolutely struggling with her feelings she became the next week the wife of Berrendale
For the first six months the union promised well Adeline was so assiduous to anticipate her husbands wishes and contrived so many dainties for his table which she cooked with her own hands that Berrendale declaring himself completely happy for the first time in his life had not a thought or a wish beyond his own fireside while Adeline happy because she conferred happiness and proud of the name of wife which she had before despised began to hope that her days would glide on in humble tranquillity
It was natural enough that Adeline should be desirous of imparting this change in her situation to Mrs Pemberton whose esteem she was eager to recover and whose kind intentions towards her at a moment when she was incapable of appreciating them Savanna had with great feeling expatiated upon She therefore wrote to her according to the address which Mrs Pemberton had left for her and received a most friendly letter in return In a short time Adeline had again an expectation of being a mother and though she could not yet entertain for her husband more than cold esteem she felt that as the father of her child he would insensibly become more dear to her
But Berrendale awoke from his dream of bliss on finding to what a large sum the bills for the halfyears housekeeping amounted Nor was he surprised without reason Adeline more eager to gratify Berrendales palate than considerate as to the means had forgotten that she was no longer at the head of a liberal establishment like her mothers and had bought for the supply of the table many expensive articles
In consequence of this terrible discovery Berrendale remonstrated very seriously with Adeline who meekly answered My dear friend good dinners cannot be had without good ingredients and good ingredients cannot be had without money
But madam cried Berrendale knitting his brows but not elevating his voice for he was one of those softspeaking beings who in the sweetest tones possible can say the most heartwounding things and give a mortal stab to your selflove in the same gentle manner in which they flatter it—there must have been great waste great mismanagement here or these expenses could not have been incurred
There may have been both returned Adeline for I have not been used to economize but I will try to learn—but I doubt my dear Berrendale you must endeavour to be contented with plainer food for not all the economy in the world can make rich gravies and high sauces cheap things
Oh care and skill can do much said Berrendale—and I find a certain person deceived me very much when he said you were a good manager
He only said replied Adeline sighing deeply that I was a good cook and you yourself allow that but I hope in time to please your appetite at less expense as to myself a little suffices me and I care not how plain that food is
Still I think I have seen you eat with a most excellent appetite said Berrendale with a very significant expression
Adeline shocked at the manner more than the words replied in a faltering voice As a proof of my being in health no doubt you rejoiced in the sight
Certainly but less robust health would suit our finances better
Adeline looked up wishing though not expecting to see by his face that he was joking but such serious displeasure appeared on it that the sordid selfishness of his character was at once unveiled to her view and clasping her hands in agony she exclaimed Oh Glenmurray and ran into her own room
It was the first time that she had pronounced his name since the hour of his death and now it was wrung from her by a sensation of acute anguish no wonder then that the feelings which followed completely overcame her and that Berrendale had undisputed and solitary possession of his supper
But he on his side was deeply irritated The Oh Glenmurray was capable of being interpreted two ways—either it showed how much she regretted Glenmurray and preferred him to his successor in spite of the superior beauty of his person of which he was very vain or it reproached Glenmurray for having recommended her to marry him In either case it was an unpardonable fault and this unhappy conversation laid the foundation of future discontent
Adeline arose the next day dejected pensive and resolved that her appetite should never again if possible force a reproach from the lips of her husband She therefore took care that whatever she provided for the table besides the simplest fare should be for Berrendale alone and she flattered herself that he would be shamed into repentance of what he had observed by seeing her scrupulous selfdenial—she even resolved if he pressed her to partake of his dainties that she would to show that she forgave him accept what he offered
But Berrendale gave her no such opportunity of showing her generosity—busy in the gratification of his own appetite he never observed whether any other persons ate or not except when by eating they curtailed his share of good things—besides to have an exclusive dish to himself seemed to him quite natural and proper he had been a pampered child and being no advocate for the equality of the sexes he thought it only a matter of course that he should fare better than his wife
Adeline though more surprised and more shocked than ever could not help laughing internally at her not being able to put her projected generosity in practice but her laughter and indignation soon yielding to contempt she ate her simple meal in silence and while her pampered husband sought to lose the fumes of indigestion in sleep she blessed God that temperance industry and health went handinhand and retiring to her own room sat down to write in order to increase if possible her means of living and consequently her power of being generous to others
But though Adeline resolved to forget if possible the petty conduct of Berrendale the mulatto who from the doors being open had heard every word of the conversation which had so disturbed Adeline neither could nor would forget it and though she did not vow eternal hatred to her master she felt herself very capable of indulging it and from that moment it was her resolution to thwart him
Whenever he was present she was always urging Adeline to eat some refreshments between meals and drink wine or lemonade and tempting her weak appetite with some pleasant but expensive sweetmeats In vain did Adeline refuse them sometimes they were bought sometimes only threatened to be bought and once when Adeline had accepted some rather than mortify Savanna by a refusal and Berrendale by his accent and expression showed how much he grudged the supposed expense—the mulatto snapping her fingers in his face and looking at him with an expression of indignant contempt exclaimed I buy dem and pay for dem wid mine nown money and my angel lady sall no be oblige to you
This was a declaration of war against Berrendale which Adeline heard with anger and sorrow and her husband with rage In vain did Adeline promise that she would seriously reprove Savanna who had disappeared for her impertinence Berrendale insisted on her being discharged immediately and nothing but Adelines assurances that she for slender wages did more work than two other servants would do for enormous ones could pacify his displeasure but at length he was appeased And as Berrendale from a principle of economy resumed his old habit of dining out amongst his friends getting good dinners by that means without paying for them family expenses ceased to disturb the quiet of their marriage and after she had been ten months a wife Adeline gave birth to a daughter
That moment the moment when she heard her infants first cry seem to repay her for all she had suffered every feeling was lost in the maternal one and she almost fancied that she loved fondly loved the father of her child but this idea vanished when she saw the languid pleasure if pleasure it could be called with which Berrendale congratulated her on her pain and danger being passed and received his child in his arms
The mulatto was wild with joy she almost stifled the babe with her kisses and talked even the next day of sending for the tawny boy to come and see his new mistress and vow to her as he had done to her mother eternal fealty and allegiance
But Adeline saw on Berrendales countenance a mixed expression—and he had mixed feelings True he rejoiced in Adelines safety but he said within himself Children are expensive things and we may have a large family and leaving the bedside as soon as he could he retired to endeavour to lose in an afternoons nap his unpleasant reflections
How different thought Adeline would have been his feelings and his expressions of them at such a time Oh— but the name of Glenmurray died away on her lips and hastily turning to gaze on her sleeping babe she tried to forget the disappointed emotions of the wife in the gratified feelings of the mother
Still Adeline who had been used to attentions could not but feel the neglect of Berrendale Even while she kept her room he passed only a few hours in her society and dined out and when she was well enough to have accompanied him on his visits she found that he never even wished her to go with him though the friends whom he visited were married and he met from his own confessions other ladies at their tables She therefore began to suspect that Berrendale did not mean to introduce her as his wife nay she doubted whether he avowed her to be such and at last she brought him to own that ashamed of having married what the world must consider as a kept mistress he resolved to keep her still in the retirement to which she was habituated
This was a severe disappointment indeed to Adeline she longed for the society of the amiable and accomplished of her own sex and hoped that as Mr Berrendales wife that intercourse with her own sex might be restored to her which she had forfeited as the mistress of Glenmurray Nor could she help reproaching Berrendale for the selfish ease and indifference with which he saw her deprived of those social enjoyments which he daily enjoyed himself convinced as she was that he might if he chose have introduced her at least to his intimate friends
But she pleaded and reasoned in vain Contented with the access which he had to the tables of his friends it was of little importance to him that his wife ate her humble meal alone His habits of enjoyment had ever been solitary the schoolboy who had at school eaten his tart and cake by stealth in a corner that he might not be asked to share them with another had grown up with the same dispositions to manhood and as his parents thought opulent were vulgar in their manners and low in their origin he had never been taught those graceful selfdenials inculcated into the children of polished life which though taught from factitious and not real benevolence have certainly a tendency by long habit to make that benevolence real which at first was only artificial
Adeline had both sorts of kindness and affection those untaught of the heart and those of education—she was polite from the situation into which the accident of birth had thrown her and also from the generous impulse of her nature To her therefore the uncultivated and unblushing personnalité as the French call it of Berrendale was a source of constant wonder and distress and often very often did she feel the utmost surprise at Berrendales having appeared to Glenmurray a man likely to make her happy Often did she wonder how the defects of Berrendales character could have escaped his penetrating eyes
Adeline forgot that the faults of her husband were such as could be known only by an intimate connexion and which cohabitation could alone call forth—faults the existence of which such a man as Glenmurray who never considered himself in any transaction whatever could not suppose possible and which though they inflicted the most bitter pangs on Adeline and gradually untwisted the slender thread which had began to unite her heart with Berrendales were of so slight a fabric as almost to elude the touch and of a nature to appear almost too trivial to be mentioned in the narration of a biographer
But though it has been long said that trifles make the sum of human things inattention to trifles continues to be the vice of every one and many a conjugal union which has never been assailed by the battery of crime has fallen a victim to the slowly undermining power of petty quarrels trivial unkindnesses and thoughtless neglect—like the gallant officer who after escaping unhurt all the rage of battle by land and water tempest on sea and earthquake on shore returns perhaps to his native country and perishes by the power of a slow fever
But Adeline who amidst all the chimaeras of her fancy and singularities of her opinions had happily held fast her religion began at this moment to entertain a belief that soothed in some measure the sorrows which it could not cure She fancied that all the sufferings she underwent were trials which she was doomed to undergo as punishments for the crime she had committed in leaving her mother and living with Glenmurray She therefore welcomed her afflictions and lifted up her meek eyes to her God and Saviour in every hour of her trials with the look of tearful but grateful resignation
Meanwhile her child whom after her mother she called Editha was nursed at her own bosom and thrived even beyond her expectations Even Berrendale beheld its growing beauty with delight and the mulatto was wild in praise of it while Adeline wholly taken up all day in nursing and in working for it and every evening in writing stories and hymns to publish which would she hoped one day be useful to her own child as well as to the children of others soon ceased to regret her seclusion from society and by the time Editha was a year old she had learnt to bear with patience the disappointment she had experienced in Berrendale
Soon after she became a mother she again wrote to Mrs Pemberton as she longed to impart to her sympathizing bosom those feelings of parental delight which Berrendale could not understand and the expression of which he witnessed with contemptuous and chilling gravity To this letter she anticipated a most gratifying return but month after month passed away and no letter from Lisbon arrived No doubt my letter miscarried said Adeline to Savanna and I will write again but she never had resolution to do so for she felt that her prospects of conjugal happiness were obscured and she shrunk equally from the task of expressing the comfort which she did not feel or unveiling to another the errors of her husband The little regard meanwhile which she had endeavoured to return for Berrendale soon vanished being unable to withstand a new violence offered to it
Editha was seized with the hoopingcough and as Adeline had sold her last little volume to advantage Berrendale allowed her to take a lodging at a short distance from town as change of air was good for the complaint She did so and remained there two months At her return she had the mortification to find that her husband during her absence had intrigued with the servant of the house—a circumstance of which she would probably have remained ignorant but for the indiscreet affection of Savanna who in the first transports of her indignation on discovering the connexion had been unable to conceal from her mistress what drove her almost frantic with indignation
But Adeline though she felt disgust and aversion swallowing up the few remaining sparks of regard for Berrendale which she felt had one great consolation under this new calamity—Berrendale had not been the choice of her heart But thank Heaven I never loved this man escaped her lips as she ran into her own room and pressing her child to her bosom she shed on its unconscious cheeks the tears which resentment and a deep sense of injury wrung from her—Oh had I loved him she exclaimed this blow would have been mortal
She however found herself in one respect the better for Berrendales guilt Conscious that the mulatto was aware of what had passed and afraid lest she should have mentioned her discovery to Adeline Berrendale endeavoured to make amends for his infidelity by attention such as he had never shown her since the first weeks of his marriage and had she not been aware of the motive the change in his behaviour would have reawakened her tenderness However it claimed at least complaisance and gentleness from her while it lasted which was not long for Berrendale fancying from the apparent tranquillity of Adeline the result of indifference not ignorance that she was not informed of his fault and that the mulatto was too prudent to betray him began to relapse into his old habits and one day forgetting his assumed liberality he ventured when alone with Savanna who was airing one of Edithas caps to expatiate on the needless extravagance of his wife in trimming her childs caps with lace
This was enough to rouse the quick feelings of the mulatto and she poured forth all her long concealed wrath in a torrent of broken English but plain enough to be well understood—You man she cried at last you will kill her she pine at your no kindness—and if she die mind me man never you marry aden—You marry forsoot you marry a lady true bred lady like mine No man—You best get a cheap miss from de street and be content—
As she said this and in an accent so provoking that Berrendale was pale and speechless with rage Adeline entered the room and Savanna selfcondemned already from what she had uttered was terrified when Adeline in a tone of voice unusually severe said Leave the room you have offended me past forgiveness
These words in a great measure softened the angry feelings of Berrendale as they proved that Adeline resented the insult offered to him as deeply as he could wish and with some calmness he exclaimed Then I conclude Mrs Berrendale that you will have no objection to discharge your mulatto directly
This conclusion though a very natural one was both a shock and a surprise to Adeline nor could she at first reply
You are silent madam said Berrendale what is your answer Yes or No
Yes—yes—certainly faltered out Adeline she—she ought to go—I mean that she has used very improper language to you
And therefore a wife who resents as she ought to do injuries offered to her husband cannot hesitate for a moment to discharge her
True very true in some measure replied Adeline but—
But what demanded Berrendale O Berrendale cried Adeline bursting into an agony of frantic sorrow if she leaves me what will become of me I shall lose the only person now in the world perhaps who loves me with sincere and faithful affection
Berrendale was wholly unprepared for an appeal like this and speechless from surprise not unmixed with confusion staggered into the next chair He was conscious indeed that his fidelity to his wife had not been proof against a few weeks absence but then being like most men not over delicate in his idea on such subjects as soon as Adeline returned he had given up the connexion which he had formed and therefore he thought she had not much reason to complain In all other respects he was sure that he was an exemplary husband and she had no just grounds for doubting his affection He was sure that she had no reason to accuse him of unkindness and unless she wished him to be always tied to her apronstring he was certain he had never omitted to pay her all proper attention
Alas he felt not the many wounds he had inflicted by
The word whose meaning kills yet told
The speaker wonders that you thought it cold
and he had yet to learn that in order to excite or testify affection it is necessary to seem to derive exclusive enjoyment from the society of the object avowed to be beloved and to seek its gratification in preference to ones own even in the most trivial things He knew not that opportunities of conferring large benefits like bankbills for £1000 rarely come into use but little attentions friendly participations and kindnesses are wanted daily and like small change are necessary to carry on the business of life and happiness
A minute more perhaps elapsed before Berrendale recovered himself sufficiently to speak and the silence was made still more awful to Adeline by her hearing from the adjoining room the sobs of the mulatto At length I cannot find words to express my surprise at what you have just uttered exclaimed Berrendale My conscience does not reproach me with deserving the reproof it contained
Indeed replied Adeline fixing her penetrating eyes on his which shrunk downcast and abashed from her gaze Adeline saw her advantage and pursued it
Mr Berrendale continued she it is indeed true that the mulatto has offended both of us for in offending you she has offended me but have you committed no fault nothing for me to forgive I know that you are too great a lover of truth too honourable a man to declare that you have not deserved the just anger of your wife but you know that I have never reproached you nor should you ever have been aware that I was privy to the distressing circumstance to which I allude but for what has just passed and now do but forgive the poor mulatto who sinned only from regard for me and from supposed slight offered to her mistress and I will not only assure you of my forgiveness but from this moment will strenuously endeavour to blot from my remembrance every trace of what has passed
Berrendale conscious and selfcondemned scarcely knew what to answer but thinking that it was better to accept Adelines offer even on her own conditions he said that if Savanna would make a proper apology and Adeline would convince her that she was seriously displeased with her he would allow her to stay and Adeline having promised every thing which he asked peace was again restored
But what can you mean Adeline said Berrendale by doubting my affection I think I gave a sufficient proof of that when disregarding the opinion of the world I married you though you had been the mistress of another and I really think that by accusing me of unkindness you make me a very ungrateful return To this indelicate and unfeeling remark Adeline vainly endeavoured to reply but starting from her chair she paced the room in violent agitation Answer me continued Berrendale name one instance in which I have been unkind to you Adeline suddenly stopped and looking steadfastly at him smiled with a sort of contemptuous pity and was on the point of saying Is not what you have now said an instance of unkindness But she saw that the same want of delicacy and of that fine moral tact which led him to commit this and similar assaults on her feelings made him unconscious of the violence which he offered
Finding therefore that he could not understand her causes of complaint even if it were possible for her to define them she replied Well perhaps I was too hasty and in a degree unjust so let us drop the subject and indeed my dear Berrendale you must bear with my weakness remember I have always been a spoiled child
Here the image of Glenmurray and that of home the home which she once knew the home of her childhood and of her earliest youth pressed on her recollection She thought of her mother of the indulgencies which she had once known of the advantages of opulence the value of which she had never felt till deprived of them and struck with the comparative forlornness of her situation—united for life to a being whose sluggish sensibilities could not understand and consequently not soothe the quick feelings and jealous susceptibility of her nature—she could hardly forbear falling at the feet of her husband and conjuring him to behave at least with forbearance to her and to speak and look at her with kindness
She did stretch out her hand to him with a look of mournful entreaty which though not understood by Berrendale was not lost upon him entirely He thought it was a confession of her weakness and his superiority and flattered by the thought into unusual softness he caught her fondly to his bosom and gave up an engagement to sup at an oyster club in order to spend the evening têteàtête with his wife Nay he allowed the little Editha to remain in the room for a whole hour though she cried when he attempted to take her in his arms and observing that it was a cold evening allowed Adeline her due share of the fireside
These circumstances trivial as they were had more than their due effect on Adeline whose heart was more alive to kindness than unkindness and those paltry attentions of which happy wives would not have been conscious were to her a source of unfeigned pleasure—As sailors are grateful after a voyage unexpectedly long for the muddy water which at their first embarking they would have turned from with disgust
That very night Adeline remonstrated with the mulatto on the impropriety of her conduct and having convinced her that in insulting her husband she failed in respect to her Savanna was prevailed upon the next morning to ask pardon of Berrendale and out of love for her mistress she took care in future to do nothing that required forgiveness
As Adelines way of life admitted of but little variety Berrendale having persisted in not introducing her to his friends on the plea of not being rich enough to receive company in return I shall pass over in silence what occurred to her till Editha was two years old premising that a series of little injuries on the part of Berrendale and a quick resentment of them on the part of Adeline which not even her habitual good humour could prevent had during that time nearly eradicated every trace of love for each other from their hearts
One evening Adeline as usual in the absence of her husband undressed Editha by the parlour fire and playing with the laughing child was enjoying the rapturous praises which Savanna put forth of its growing beauty while the tawny boy who had spent the day with them built houses with cards on the table which Editha threw down as soon as they were built and he with goodhumoured perseverance raised up again
Adeline alive only to the maternal feeling at this moment had forgotten all her cares she saw nothing but the happy group around her and her countenance wore the expression of recovered serenity
At this moment a loud knock was heard at the door and Adeline starting up exclaimed It is my husbands knock
O no—he never come so soon replied the mulatto running to the door but she was mistaken—it was Berrendale and Adeline hearing his voice began instantly to snatch up Edithas clothes and to knock down the tawny boys newlyraised edifice but order was not restored when Berrendale entered and with a look and tone of impatience he said So fine confusion indeed Heres a fireside to come to Pretty amusement too for a literary lady—building houses of cards Shame on your extravagance Mrs Berrendale to let that brat spoil cards in that way
The sunshine of Adelines countenance on hearing this vanished to be sure she was accustomed to such speeches but the moment before she had felt happy for the first time for years She however replied not but hurrying Editha to bed ordering the reluctant tawny boy into the kitchen and setting Berrendales chair as usual in the warmest place she ventured in a faint voice to ask what had brought him home so early
More early than welcome replied Berrendale if I may judge from the bustle I have occasioned
It is very true replied Adeline that had I expected you I should have been better prepared for your reception and then you perhaps would have spoken more kindly to me
There—there you go again—If I say but a word to you then I am called unkind though I never speak without just provocation and I declare I came home in the best humour possible to tell you what may turn out of great profit to us both—but when a man has an uncomfortable home to come to it is enough to put him out of humour
The mulatto who was staying to gather up the cards which had fallen turned herself round on hearing this and exclaimed Home was very comfortable till you come and then with a look of the most angry contempt she left the room and threw the door to with great violence
But what is this good news my dear said Adeline eager to turn Berrendales attention from Savannas insolent reply
I have received a letter he replied which by the by I ought to have had some weeks ago from my fatherinlaw in Jamaica authorizing me to draw on his banker for £900 and inviting me to come over to him as he feels himself declining and wishes to give me the care of his estate and of my son to whom all his fortune will descend and of whose interest he properly thinks no one can be so likely to take good care as his own father
And do you mean that I and Editha should go with you said Adeline turning pale
No to be sure not eagerly replied Berrendale I must first see how the land lies But if I go—as the old man no doubt will make a handsome settlement on me—I shall be able to remit to you a very respectable annuity
Adelines heart spite of herself bounded with joy at this discovery but she had resolution to add—and if duplicity can ever be pardonable this was—So then the good news which you had to impart to me was that we were going to be separated But as she said this the consciousness that she was artfully trying to impress Berrendale with an idea of her feeling a sorrow which was foreign to her heart overcame her and affected also at being under the necessity of rejoicing at the departure of that being who ought to be the source of her comfort she vainly struggled to regain composure and burst into an agony of tears
But her consternation cannot be expressed when she found that Berrendale imputed her tears to tender anguish at the idea of parting with him and when his vanity being delighted by this homage to his attractions he felt all his fondness for her revive and overwhelming her with caresses he declared that he would reject the offer entirely if by accepting it he should give her a moments uneasiness Adeline shocked at his error yet not daring to set him right could only weep on his shoulder in silence but in order to make real the distress which he only fancied so she enumerated to herself all the diseases incident to the climate and the danger of the voyage Still the idea of Berrendales departure was so full of comfort to her that though her tears continued to flow they flowed not for his approaching absence At length ashamed of fortifying him in so gross an error she made an effort to regain her calmness and found words to assure him that she would no longer give way to such unpardonable weakness as she could assure him that she wished his acceptance of his fatherinlaws offer and had no desire to oppose a scheme so just and so profitable
But Berrendale to whose vanity she had never before offered such a tribute as her tears seemed to be imputed these assurances to disinterested love and female delicacy afraid to own the fondness which it felt and the rest of the evening was spent in professions of love on his part which on Adelines called forth at least some grateful and kind expressions in return
Still however she persisted in urging Berrendale to go to Jamaica but at the same time she earnestly begged him to remember that temperance could alone preserve his health in such a climate—or the use of pepper in great quantities replied he to counteract the effects of good living—and Adeline though convinced temperance was the best preservation was forced to give up the point especially as Berrendale began to enumerate the number of delicious things for the table which Jamaica afforded
To be brief Berrendale after taking a most affectionate leave of his wife and child a leave which almost made the mulatto his friend and promising to allow them £200 ayear till he should be able to send over for them set sail for Jamaica while Adeline the night of his departure endeavoured by conjuring up all the horrors of a tempest at sea on his passage and of a hurricane and an earthquake on shore when he arrived to force herself to feel such sorrow as the tenderness which he had expressed at the moment of parting seemed to make it her duty to feel
But morning came and with it a feeling of liberty and independence so delightful that she no longer tried to grieve on speculation as it were but giving up her whole soul to the joys of maternal fondness she looked forward with pious gratitude to days of tranquil repose save when she thought with bitter regret of the obdurate anger of her mother and with tender regret of the lost and ever lamented Glenmurray
Berrendale had been arrived at Jamaica some months when Adeline observed a most alarming change in Savanna She became thin her appetite entirely failed and she looked the image of despondence In vain did Adeline ask the reason of a change so apparent the only answer she could obtain was Me better soon and continuing every day to give this answer she in a short time became so languid as to be obliged to lie down half the day
Adeline then found that it was necessary to be more serious in her interrogatories but the mulatto at first only answered No me die but me never break my duty vow to you no me die but never leave you
These words implying a wish to leave her with a resolution not to do so how much soever it might cost her alarmed in a moment the ever disinterested sensibility of Adeline and she at length wrung from her a confession that her dear William who was gone to Jamaica as a servant to a gentleman was she was credibly informed very ill and like to die
You therefore wish to go and nurse him I suppose Savanna
Oh me no wish me only tink dat me like to go to Jamaica see if be true dat he be so bad and if he die I den return and die wid you
Live with me you mean Savanna for indeed I cannot spare you Remember you have given me a right to claim your life as mine nor can I allow you to throw away my property in fruitless lamentations and the indolent indulgence of regret You shall go to Jamaica Savanna Heaven forbid that I should keep a wife from her duty You shall see and try to recover William if he be really ill Savanna here threw herself on Adelines neck and then you shall return to me who will either warmly share in your satisfaction or fondly sooth your distress
Den you do love poor Savanna
Love you Indeed I do next to my child and—and my mother replied Adeline her voice faltering
Name not dat woman cried Savanna hastily me will never see never speak to her even in heaven
Savanna remember she is my mother
Yes and Mr Berrendale be your husban and yet who dat love you can love dem
Savanna replied Adeline these proofs of your regard though reprehensible are not likely to reconcile me to your departure and I already feel that in losing you— Here she paused unable to proceed
Den me no go—me no go—yet dearest lady you have love yourself
Aye Savanna and can feel for you so say no more The only difficulty will be to raise money enough to pay for your passage and expenses while there
Oh me once nurse the captains wife who now going to Jamaica and she love me very much and he tell me yesterday that he let me go for nothing because I am good nurse to his wife if me wish to see William
Enough replied Adeline then all I have to do is to provide you with money for your maintenance when you arrive and I have no doubt but that what I cannot supply the tawny boys generous patroness will
Adeline was not mistaken Savanna obtained from her sons benefactress a sum equal to her wants and almost instantly restored to her wonted health by her minds being lightened of the load which oppressed it she took her passage on board her friends vessel and set sail for Jamaica carrying with her letters from Adeline to Berrendale while Adeline felt the want of Savanna in various ways so forcibly that not even Editha could for a time at least console her for her loss It had been so grateful to her feelings to meet every day the eyes of one being fixed with nevervarying affection on hers that when she beheld those eyes no longer she felt alone in the universe—nor had she a single female friend to whom she could turn for relief or consolation
Mrs Beauclerc to whose society she had expected to be restored by her marriage had been forced to give up all intercourse with her in compliance with the peremptory wishes of a rich old maid from whom her children had great expectations and who threatened to leave her fortune away from them if Mrs Beauclerc persisted in corresponding with a woman so bad in principle and so wicked in practice as Adeline appeared to her to be
But at length from a mothers employments from writing and above all from the idea that by suffering she was making some atonement for her past sins she derived consolation and became resigned to every evil that had befallen and to every evil that might still befall her
Perhaps she did not consider as an evil what now took place increasing coldness in the letters of Berrendale till he said openly at last that as they were he was forced to confess far from happy together and as the air of Jamaica agreed with him and as he was resolved to stay there he thought she had better remain in England and he would remit her as much money occasionally as his circumstances would admit of
But she thought this a greater evil than it at first appeared when an agent of Berrendales fatherinlaw in England and a friend of Berrendale himself called on her pretending that he came to inquire concerning her health and raised in her mind suspicions of a very painful nature
After the usual compliments—I find madam said Mr Drury that our friend is very much admired by the ladies in Jamaica
I am glad to hear it sir coolly answered Adeline
Well thats kind and generous now replied Drury and very disinterested
I see no virtue sir in my rejoicing of what must make Mr Berrendales abode in Jamaica pleasant to him
May be so but most women I believe would be apt to be jealous on the occasion
But it has been the study of my life sir to endeavour to consider my own interest when it comes in competition with anothers as little as possible—I doubt I have not always succeeded in my endeavours but on this occasion I am certain that I have expressed no sentiment which I do not feel
Then madam if my friend should have an opportunity as indeed I believe he has of forming a most agreeable and advantageous marriage you would not try to prevent it
Good heavens sir replied Adeline What can you mean Mr Berrendale form an advantageous marriage when he is already married to me
Married to you maam answered Mr Drury with a look of incredulity Excuse me but I know that such marriages as yours may be easily dissolved
At first Adeline was startled at this assertion but recollecting that it was impossible any form or ceremony should have been wanting at the marriage she recovered herself and demanded with an air of severity what Mr Drury meant by so alarming and illfounded a speech
My meaning maam replied he must be pretty evident to you I mean that I do not look upon you though you bear Mr Berrendales name to be his lawful wife but that you live with him on the same terms on which you lived with Mr Glenmurray
And on what sir could you build such an erroneous supposition
On Mr Berrendales own words madam who always spoke of his connexion with you as of a connexion which he had formed in compliance with love and in defiance of prudence
And is it possible that he could be such a villain exclaimed Adeline Oh my child and does thy father brand thee with the stain of illegitimacy—But sir whatever appellation Mr Berrendale might choose to give his union with me to his friends in England I am sure he will not dare to incur the penalty attendant on a mans marrying one wife while he has another living for that I am his wife I can bring pretty sufficient evidence to prove
Indeed madam You can produce a witness of the ceremony then I presume
No sir the woman who attended me to the altar and the clergyman who married us are dead and the only witness is a child now only ten years old
That is unfortunate with a look of incredulity but no doubt when you hear that Mr Berrendale is married to a West Indian heiress you will come forward with incontrovertible proofs of your prior claims and if you do that madam you may command my good offices—but till then I humbly take my leave—Saying this with a very visible sneer on his countenance he departed leaving Adeline in a state of distress—the more painful to endure from her having none to participate in it—no one to whom she could impart the cause of it
That Mr Drury did not speak of the possible marriage of Berrendale from mere conjecture was very apparent and Adeline resolved not to delay writing to her husband immediately to inform him of what had passed and put before his eyes in the strongest possible manner the guilt of what he was about to do and also the utter impossibility of its being successful guilt as she was resolved to assert her claims for the sake of her child if not for her own This letter she concluded and with truth too with protestations of believing all Mr Drury said to be false for indeed the more she considered Berrendales character the more she was convinced that however selfish and defective his disposition might be it was more likely Mr Drury should be mistaken than Berrendale be a villain
But where a mans conduct is not founded on virtuous motives and immutable principles he may not err while temptation is absent but once expose him to her presence and he is capable of falling into the very vices the most abhorrent to his nature and though Adeline knew it not such a man was Berrendale
Adeline having relieved her mind by this appeal to her husband and being assured that Berrendale could not be married before her letter could reach him as it was impossible that he should dare to marry while the mulatto was in the very town near which he resided felt herself capable of attending to her usual employments again and had recovered her tranquillity when an answer to her letter arrived and Adeline being certain that the letter itself would be a proof of the marriage had resolved to show it in justification of her claims to Mr Drury
What then must have been her surprise to find it exactly such a letter as would be evidence against a marriage between her and Berrendale having ever taken place He thanked her for the expressions of fond regret which her letter contained and for the many happy hours which he owed to her society but hoped that as Fate had now separated their destinies she could be as happy without him as she had been with him and assuring her that he should according to his promise regularly remit her £150 ayear if possible but that he could at present only inclose a draft for £50
Adeline was absolutely stupified with horror at reading this apparent confirmation of the villany of her husband and the father of her child but roused to indignant exertion by the sense of Berrendales baseness and of what she owed her daughter she resolved to take counsels opinion in what manner she should proceed to prove her marriage as soon as she was assured that Berrendales which she had no doubt was fixed upon should have taken place and this intelligence she received a short time after the mulatto herself who worn out with sorrow sickness and hardship one day tottered into the house seeming as if she indeed only returned to die with her mistress
At first the joy of seeing Savanna restored to her swallowed up every other feeling but tender apprehension for the poor creatures health soon took possession of her mind and Adeline drew from her a narrative which exhibited Berrendale to her eyes as capable of most atrocious actions
CHAPTER XIX
It is very certain that when Berrendale left England though he meant to conceal his marriage entirely he had not even the slightest wish to contract another and had any one told him that he was capable of such wicked conduct he would have answered like Hazael Is thy servant a dog that he should do this thing But he was then unassailed by temptations—and habituated as he was to selfish indulgence it was impossible that to strong temptation he should not fall an immediate victim
This strong temptation assailed him soon after his arrival in the person of a very lovely and rich widow a relation of his first wife who having no children of her own had long been very fond of his child then a very fine boy and with great readiness transferred to the father the affection which she bore the son For some time conscience and Adeline stood their ground against this new mistress and her immense property but at length being pressed by his fatherinlaw who wished the match to assign a sufficient reason for his coldness to so fine a woman and not daring to give the true one he returned the ladys fondness and though he had not yet courage enough to name the marriage day it was known that it would some time or other take place
But all his scruples soon yielded to the dominion which the attractions of the lady who was well versed in the arts of seduction obtained over his senses and to the strong power which the sight of the splendour in which she lived acquired over his avarice when just as every thing was on the point of being concluded the poor mulatto who had found her husband dead arrived almost brokenhearted at the place of Berrendales abode and delivered to him letters from Adeline
Terrified and confounded at her presence he received her with such evident marks of guilty confusion in his face that Savannas apprehensive and suspicious attachment to her mistress took the alarm and as she had seen a very fine woman leave the room as she entered she on pretence of leaving Berrendale alone to read his letters repaired to the servants apartments where she learnt the intended marriage Immediately forgetting her own distresses in those of Adeline she returned to Berrendale not with the languid mournful pace with which she had first entered but with the firm impetuous and intrepid step of conscious integrity going to confound vice in the moment of its triumph
Berrendale read his doom the moment he beheld her in her dark and fiery eye and awaited in trembling silence the torrent of reproaches that trembled on her lip But I shall not repeat what passed Suffice that Berrendale pretended to be moved by what she said and promised to break off the marriage—only exacting from Savanna in return a promise of not imparting to the servants or to any one that he had a wife in England
In the meanwhile he commended her most affectionately to the care of the steward and confessing to his intended bride that he had a mistress in England who had sent the mulatto over to prevent the match if possible by persuading her he was already married he conjured her to consent to a private marriage and to prevent some dreadful scene occasioned by the revenge of disappointed passion should his mistress as she had threatened come over in person he entreated her to let every splendid preparation for their nuptials be laid aside in order to deceive Savanna and induce her to return quietly to England
The credulous woman too much in love to believe what she did not wish consented to all he proposed but Berrendale still fearful of the watchful jealousy of Savanna contrived to find out the master to whom she belonged before she had escaped early in life with her first husband to England and as she had never been made free as soon as he arrived he on a summons from Berrendale seized her as his property and poor Savanna in spite of her cries and struggles was conveyed some miles up the country
At length however she found means to escape to the coast and having discovered an old acquaintance in an English sailor on board a vessel then ready to sail and who had great influence with the captain she was by him concealed on board with the approbation of the commander and was on her way to England before Berrendale was informed of her escape
I will not endeavour to describe Adelines feelings on hearing this narration and on finding also that Savanna before she left the island had been assured that Berrendale was really married though privately but that the marriage could not long be attempted to be concealed as the lady even before it took place was likely to become a mother and that as a large estate depended on her giving birth to a son the event of her confinement was looked for with great anxiety
Still in the midst of her distress a sudden thought struck Adeline which converted her anger into joy and her sorrow into exultation Yes my mother may now forgive me without violating any part of her oath she exclaimed—I am now forsaken despised and disgraced—and instantly she wrote to Mrs Mowbray a letter calculated to call forth all her sympathy and affection Then with a mind relieved beyond expression she sat down to deliberate in what manner she should act to do herself justice as a wife and a mother cruelly aggrieved in both these intimate relations Nor could she persuade herself that she should act properly by her child if she did not proceed vigorously to prove herself Berrendales wife and substantiate Edithas claim to his property and as Mr Langley was she knew a very great lawyer she resolved in spite of his improper conduct to her to apply to him again
Indeed she could not divest herself of a wish to let him know that she was become a wife and no longer liable to be treated with that freedom with which as a mistress he had thought himself at liberty to address her However she wished that she had not been obliged to go to him alone but as the mulatto was in too weak a state of health to allow of her going out and she could not speak of business like hers before any one else she was forced to proceed unaccompanied to the Temple and on the evening of the day after Savannas return she with a beating heart repaired once more to Mr Langleys chambers
Luckily however she met the tawny boy on her way and took him for her escort Tell your master said she to the servant that Mrs Berrendale wishes to speak to him and in a few minutes she was introduced
Mrs Berrendale cried Langley with a sarcastic smile pray be seated madam I hope Mr Berrendale is well
He is in Jamaica sir replied Adeline
Indeed returned Langley May I presume so far as to ask—hem hem—whether your visit to me be merely of a professional nature
Certainly sir replied Adeline of what other nature should it be
Langley replied to this only by a significant smile At this moment the tawny boy asked leave to walk in the temple gardens and Adeline though reluctantly granted his request
Oh à propos John cried Langley to the servant let Mrs Montgomery know that her friend Miss Mowbray Mrs Berrendale I mean is here—she is walking in the garden
My friend Mrs Montgomery sir I have no friend of that name
No my sweet soul You may not know her by that name but names change you know You for instance are Mrs Berrendale now but when I see you again you may be Mrs Somebody else
Never sir cried Adeline indignantly but though I do not exactly understand your meaning I feel as if you meant to insult me and therefore—
Oh no—sit down again my angel you are mistaken and so apt to fly off in a tangent But—so—that wonderfully handsome man Berrendale is off—heh Your friend and mine heh pretty one
If sir Mr Berrendale ever considered you as his friend it is very strange that you should presume to insult his wife
Madam replied Langley with a most provoking sneer Mr Berrendales wife shall always be treated by me with proper respect
Gracious Heaven cried Adeline clasping her hands and looking upwards with tearful eyes when shall my persecutions cease and how much greater must my offences be than even my remorse paints them when their consequences still torment me so long after the crime which occasioned them has ceased to exist But it is Thy will and I will submit even to indignity with patience
There was a touching solemnity in this appeal to Heaven an expression of truth which it was so impossible for art to imitate that Langley felt in a moment the injustice of which he had been guilty and an apology was on his lips when the door opened and a lady rouged like a French countess of the ancien régime her hair covered with a profusion of brown powder and dressed in the height of fashion ambled into the room and saying How dye do Miss Mowbray threw herself carelessly on the sofa to the astonishment of Adeline who did not recollect her and to the confusion of Langley who now impressed with involuntary respect for Adeline repented of having exposed her to the scene that awaited her but to prevent it was impossible he was formed to be a slave of woman and had not courage to protect another from the insolence to which he tamely yielded himself
Adeline at first did not answer this soidisant acquaintance of hers but in looking at her more attentively she exclaimed What do I see Is it possible that this can be Mary Warner
Yes it is my dear indeed replied she with a loud laugh Mary Warner alias Mrs Montgomery as you you know are Miss Mowbray alias Mrs Berrendale
Adeline incapable of speaking only gazed at her in silence but with a countenance more in sorrow than in anger
But come sit down my dear cried Mary no ceremony you know among friends and equals you know and you and I have been mighty familiar you know before now The last time we met you called me woman you know—yes woman says you—and I have not forgotten it I assure you she added with a sort of loud hysterical laugh and a look of the most determined malice
Come come my dear Montgomery said Langley you must forget and forgive—I dare say Miss Mowbray that is to say Mrs Berrendale did not mean—
What should you know about the matter Lang replied Mary I wish you would mind your own business and let me talk to my dumb friend here—Well I suppose you are quite surprised to see how smart I am—seeing as how I once overheard you say to Glenthingymy How very plain Mary is though to be sure it was never a barrel the better herring and twas the kettle in my mind calling the pot—Heh Lang
Here was the clue to the inveterate dislike which this unhappy girl had conceived against Adeline So true is it that little wounds inflicted on the selflove are never forgotten or forgiven and that it is safer to censure the morals of acquaintances than to ridicule them on their dress or laugh at a defect in their person Adeline indeed did not mean that her observation should be overheard by the object of it—still she was hated but many persons make mortifying remarks purposely and yet wonder that they have enemies
Motionless and almost lifeless Adeline continued to stand and to listen and Mary went on—
Well but I thank you for one thing You taught me that marriage was all nonsense you know and so thought I Miss Mowbray is a learned lady she must know best and so I followed your example—thats all you know
This dreadful information roused the feelings of Adeline even to phrensy and with a shriek of anguish she seized her hand and conjured her by all her hopes of mercy to retract what she had said and not to let her depart with the horrible consciousness of having been the means of plunging a fellowbeing into vice and infamy
A loud unfeeling laugh and an exclamation of The woman is mad was all the answer to this
This then is the completion of my sufferings cried Adeline—this only was wanted to complete the misery of my remorse
This is too much exclaimed Langley Mary you know very well that—
Hold your tongue Lang you know nothing about the matter it is all nothing but that Miss Mowbray like a lawyer can change sides you see and attack one day what she defended the day before you know and she has made you believe that she thinks now being kept a shameful thing
I do believe so hastily replied Adeline and if it be true that my sentiments and my example led you to adopt your present guilty mode of life—oh save me from the pangs of remorse which I now feel by letting my present example recall you from the paths of error to those of virtue
Well pleaded cried the coldhearted Mary—Lang you could not have donet so well—not up to that
Mrs Montgomery said Langley with great severity if you cannot treat Mrs Berrendale with more propriety and respect I must beg you to leave the room she is come to speak to me on business and—
I shant stir for all that and mark me Lang if you turn me out of the room you know hang me if ever I enter it again
But your little boy may want you you have left him now some time
Aye that may be true to be sure poor little dear Have you any family Miss Mowbray—when without waiting for an answer she added My little boy have got the smallpox very bad and has been likely to die from convulsion fits you know Poor dear I had been nursing it so long that I could not bear the stench of the room and so I was glad you know to come and get a little fresh air in the gardens
At this speech Adelines fortitude entirely gave way Her child had not had the smallpox and she had been for some minutes in reach of the infection and with a look of horror forgetting her business and every thing but Editha she was on the point of leaving the room when a servant hastily entered and told Mary that her little boy was dead
At hearing this even her cold heart was moved and throwing herself back on the sofa she fell into a strong hysteric while Adeline losing all remembrance of her insolence in her distress flew to her assistance and in pity for a mother weeping the loss of her infant forgot for a moment that she was endangering the life of her own child
Mr Langley mean time though grieved for the death of the infant was alive to the generous forgiving disposition which Adeline evinced and could not help exclaiming Oh Mrs Berrendale forgive us we deserved not such kindness at your hands and Adeline wanting to loosen the tight stays of Mary and not choosing to undress her before such a witness coldly begged him to withdraw advising him at the same time to go and see whether the child was really dead as it might possibly only appear so
Revived by this possibility Mr Langley left Mary to the care of Adeline and left the room But whether it was that Mary had a mind to impress her lover and the father of her child with an idea of her sensibility or whether she had overheard Adelines supposition certain it is that as soon as Langley went away and Adeline began to unlace her stays she hastily recovered and declared her stays should remain as they were but still exclaiming about her poor dear Benny she kept her arms closely clasped round Adelines waist and reposed her head on her bosom
Adelines fears and pity for her being thus allayed she began to have leisure to feel and fear for herself and the idea that by being in such close contact with Mary she was imbibing so much of the disease as must inevitably communicate it to Editha recurred so forcibly to her mind that begging for mercys sake she would loose her hold she endeavoured to break from the arms of her tormentor
But in vain—As soon as Mary saw that Adeline wished to leave her she was the more eager to hold her fast and protesting she should die if she had the barbarity to leave her alone she only hugged her the closer Well then Ill try to stay till Mr Langley returns cried Adeline but some minutes elapsed and Mr Langley did not return and then Adeline recollecting that when he did return he would come fresh fraught with the pestilence from the dead body of his infant could no longer master her feelings but screaming wildly—I shall be the death of my child let me go—she struggled with the determined Mary You will drive me mad if you detain me cried Adeline
You will drive me mad if you go replied Mary giving way to a violent hysterical scream while with successful strength she parried all Adelines endeavours to break from her But what can resist the strength of phrensy and despair Adeline at length worked up to madness by the fatal control exercised over her by one great effort threw the sobbing Mary from her and darting down stairs with the rapidity of phrensy nearly knocked down Mr Langley in her passage who was coming to announce the restoration of the little boy
She soon reached Fleetstreet and was on her road home before Langley and Mary had recovered their consternation but she suddenly recollected that homewards she must not proceed that she carried death about her and wholly bewildered by this insupportable idea she ran along the Strand muttering the incoherencies of phrensy as she went till she was intercepted in her passage by some young men of ton who had been dining together and being half intoxicated were on their way to the theatre
Two of these gentlemen with extended arms prevented her further progress
Where are you going my pretty girl cried one in this hurry shall I see you home heh
Home replied Adeline name it not My child my child thy mother has destroyed thee
So cried another actress by all thats tragical
Unhand me exclaimed Adeline wildly Do not you know poor babe that I carry death and infection about with me
The devil you do returned the gentleman then the sooner you take yourself off the better
I believe the poor soul is mad said a third making way for Adeline to pass
But cried the first who spoke catching hold of her if so there is method and meaning in her madness for she called Jaby here a poor babe and we all know he is little better
By this time Adeline was in a state of complete phrensy and was again darting down the street in spite of the gentlemans efforts to hold her when another gentleman whom curiosity had induced to stop and listen to what passed suddenly seized hold of her arm and exclaimed Good Heavens what can this mean It is—it can be no other than Miss Mowbray
At the sound of her own name Adeline started but in a moment her senses were quite lost again and the gentleman who was no other than Colonel Mordaunt being fully aware of her situation after reproving the young men for sporting with distress so apparent called a coach which happened to be passing and desired to know whither he should have the honour of conducting her
But she was too lost to be able to answer the question he therefore lifting her into the coach desired the man to drive towards Doverstreet and when there he ordered him to drive to Margaretstreet Oxfordstreet when not being able to obtain one coherent word from Adeline and nothing but expressions of agony terror and selfcondemnation he desired him to stop at such a house and conducting Adeline up stairs desired the first assistance to be procured immediately
It was not to his own lodgings that Colonel Mordaunt had conducted Adeline but to the house of a convenient friend of his who though not generally known as such and bearing a tolerably good character in the world was very kind to the tender distresses of her friends and had no objection to assist the meetings of two fond lovers
It is to be supposed then that she was surprised at seeing Colonel Mordaunt with a companion who was an object of pity and horror rather than of love but she did not want humanity and when the colonel recommended Adeline to her tenderest care she with great readiness ordered a bed to be prepared and assisted in prevailing on Adeline to lie down on it In a short time a physician and a surgeon arrived and Adeline having been bled and made to swallow strong opiates was undressed by her attentive landlady and though still in a state of unconsciousness she fell into a sound sleep which lasted till morning
But Colonel Mordaunt passed a sleepless night The sight of Adeline even frantic and wretched as she appeared had revived the passion which he had conceived for her and if on her awaking the next morning she should appear perfectly rational and her phrensy merely the result of some great fright which she had received he resolved to renew his addresses and take advantage of the opportunity now offered him while she was as it were in his power
But to return to the Temple—Soon after Mr Langley had entered his own room and while Mary and he were commenting on the frantic behaviour of Adeline the tawny boy came back from his walk and heard with marks of emotion apparently beyond his age for though near twelve he did not look above eight years old of the sudden and frantic disappearance of Adeline
Oh my dear friend cried he if you are not gone home you will break my poor mothers heart
And who is your mother
Her name is Savanna and she lives with Mrs Berrendale
Mrs Berrendale cried Mary Miss Mowbray you mean
No I do not her name was Mowbray but is now Berrendale
What is she really married asked Langley
Yes to be sure
But how do you know that she is
Oh because I went to church with them and my mother cooked the weddingdinner and I ate plumpudding and drank punch and we were very merry—only my mother cried because my father could not come
Very circumstantial evidence indeed cried Langley and I am very sorry that I did not know so much before So you and your mother love this extraordinary fine woman Mrs Berrendale heh
Love her To be sure—we should be very wicked if we did not Did you never hear the story of the pineapple said the tawny boy
Not I What was it and the tawny boy delighted to tell the story with sparkling eyes sat down to relate it
You must know Mr Glenmurray longed for a pineapple
Mrs Glenmurray you mean said Mary laughing immoderately
I know what I say replied the tawny boy angrily and so Miss Adeline as she was then called went out to buy one—well and so she met my poor father going to prison and I was crying after her and so— Here he paused and bursting into tears exclaimed And perhaps she is crying herself now and I must go and see for her directly
Do so my fine fellow cried Langley you had better go home tell your mother what has passed and tomorrow accompanying him down stairs and speaking in a low voice I will either write a note of apology or call on Mrs Berrendale myself
The tawny boy instantly set off running as fast as he could telling Langley first that if any harm had happened to his friend both he and his mother should lie down and die And this further proof of Adelines merit did not tend to calm Langleys remorse for having exposed her to the various distresses which she had undergone at his chambers
CHAPTER XX
Adeline awoke early the next morning perfectly sane though weakened by the exertions which she had experienced the night before and saw with surprise and alarm that she was not in her own lodging
But she had scarcely convinced herself that she was awake when Mrs Selby the mistress of the house appeared at her bedside and seeing what was passing in her mind by her countenance explained to her as delicately as she could the situation in which she had been brought there
And who brought me hither replied Adeline dreadfully agitated as the remembrance of what had passed by degrees burst upon her
Colonel Mordaunt of the guards was the answer and Adeline was shocked to find that he was the person to whom she was under so essential an obligation She then hastily arose being eager to return home and in a short time she was ready to enter the drawingroom and to express her thanks to Colonel Mordaunt
But in vain did she insist on going home directly to ease the fears of her family The physician who arrived at the moment forbade her going out without having first taken both medicine and refreshment and by the time that after the most earnest entreaties she obtained leave to depart she recollected that as her clothes were the same she might still impart disease to her child and therefore must on no account think of returning to Editha
Whither whither then can I go cried she forgetting she was not alone
Why not stay here said the colonel who had been purposely left alone with her O dearest of women that you would but accept the protection of a man who adores you who has long loved you who has been so fortunate as to rescue you from a situation of misery and danger and the study of whose life it shall be to make you happy
He uttered this with such volubility that Adeline could not find an opportunity to interrupt him but when he concluded she calmly replied I am willing to believe Colonel Mordaunt from a conversation which I once had with you that you are not aware of the extent of the insult which you are now offering to me You probably do not know that I have been for years a married woman
Colonel Mordaunt started and turned pale at this intelligence and in a faltering voice replied that he was indeed a stranger to her present situation—for that libertine as he confessed himself to be he had never yet allowed himself to address the wife of another
This speech restored him immediately to the confidence of Adeline Then I hope cried she holding out her hand to him which in spite of his virtue he passionately kissed that as a friend you will have the kindness to procure me a coach to take me to a lodging a few miles out of town where I once was before and that you will be so good as to drive directly to my lodgings and let my poor maid know what is become of me I dread to think added she bursting into tears of the agony that my unaccountable absence must have occasioned her
The colonel too seriously attached to Adeline to know yet what he wished or what he hoped on this discovery of her situation promised to obey her provided she would allow him to call on her now and then and Adeline was too full of gratitude to him for the service which he had rendered her to have resolution enough to deny his request He then called a coach for himself and for Adeline as she insisted on his going immediately to her lodgings and also begged that he would tell the mulatto to send for advice and prepare her little girl for inoculation directly
Adeline drove directly to her old lodgings in the country where she was most gladly received and the colonel went to deliver his commission to the mulatto
He found her in strong hysterics the tawny boy crying over her and the woman of the house holding her down on the bed by force while the little Editha had been conveyed to a neighbours house that she might not hear the screams which had surprised and terrified her
Colonel Mordaunt had opened the door and was witnessing this distressing scene before any one was conscious of his presence but the tawny boy soon discovered him and crying out—
Oh sir do you bring us news of our friend sprang to him and hung almost breathless on his arm
Savanna who was conscious enough to know what passed though too much weakened from her own sufferings and anxieties to be able to struggle with this new affliction started up on hearing these words and screamed out Does she live Blessed man but say so dats all in a tone so affecting and with an expression of agonized curiosity so overwhelming to the feelings that Colonel Mordaunt whose spirits were not very high was so choked that he could not immediately answer her and when at last he faltered out She lives and is quite well the frantic joy of the mulatto overcame him still more She jumped about his neck she hugged the tawny boy and her delight was as extravagant as her grief had been till exhausted and silent she sunk upon the bed and was unable for some minutes to listen quietly to the story which Colonel Mordaunt came to relate
When she was composed enough to listen to it she did not long remain so for as soon as she heard that Colonel Mordaunt had met Adeline in her phrensy and conveyed her to a place of safety she fell at his feet embraced his knees and making the tawny boy kneel down by her invoked the blessing of God on him so fervently and so eloquently that Colonel Mordaunt wept like a child and exclaiming Upon my soul my good woman I cannot bear this was forced to run out of the house to recover his emotion
When he returned Savanna said Well—now blessed sir take me to my dear lady
Indeed replied he I must not you are forbidden to see her
Forbidden replied she her eyes flashing fire and who dare to keep Savanna from her own mistress—I will see her
Not if she forbids it Savanna and if her childs life should be endangered by it
O no to be sure not cried the tawny boy who doted upon Editha and having fetched her back from the next house was lulling her to sleep in his arms
Colonel Mordaunt started at sight of the child and stooping down to kiss its rosy cheek sighed deeply as he turned away again
Well cried Savanna you talk very strange—me no understand
But you shall my excellent creature replied the colonel immediately He then entered on a full explanation to Savanna who had no sooner heard that her mistress feared that she had been so much exposed to the infection of the smallpox as to make her certain of giving it to her child than she exclaimed Oh my good God save and protect her own self She never have it and she may get it and die
Surely you must be mistaken replied the colonel Mrs Berrendale must have recollected and mentioned her own danger if this be the case
She hastily interrupted the mulatto she tink of herself Never—she only mind others good Do you tink if she be one selfish beast like her husban Savanna love her so dear No Mr Colonel me know her and me know though we may save the child we may lose the mother Here she began to weep bitterly while the colonel more in love than ever with Adeline from these proofs of her goodness resolved to lose no time in urging her to undergo herself the operation which she desired for Editha
Then begging the mulatto to send for a surgeon directly in spite of the tears of the tawny boy who thought it cruel to run the risk of spoiling Miss Edithas pretty face he took his leave saying to himself What a heart has this Adeline how capable of feeling affection for no one can inspire it who is not able to feel it and this creature is thrown away on a man undeserving her it seems
On this intelligence he continued to muse till he arrived at Adelines lodgings to whom he communicated all that had passed and from whom he learned with great anxiety that it was but too true that she had never had the smallpox and that therefore she should probably show symptoms of the disease in a few days consequently as she considered it too late for her to be inoculated she should do all that now remained to be done for her security by low living and good air
That same evening Colonel Mordaunt returned to Savanna in hopes of learning from her some further particulars respecting Adelines husband as he felt that his conscience would not be much hurt by inducing Adeline to leave the protection of a man who was unworthy of possessing her Fortunately for his wishes he could not wish to hear more than Savanna wished to tell every thing relating to her adored lady and Colonel Mordaunt heard with generous indignation of the perfidious conduct of Berrendale vowing at the same time that his time his interest and his fortune should all be devoted to bring such a villain to justice and to secure to the injured Editha her rightful inheritance
The mulatto was in raptures—she told Colonel Mordaunt that he was a charming man and infinitely handsomer than Berrendale though she must own he was very good to look at and she wished with all her soul that Colonel Mordaunt was married to her lady for then she believed she would have never known sorrow but been as happy as the day was long
Colonel Mordaunt could not hear this without a secret pang Had I followed said he mentally the dictates of my heart when I saw Adeline at Bath I might now perhaps instead of being a forlorn unattached being have been a happy husband and father and Adeline instead of having been the mistress of one man the disowned wife of another might have been happy and beloved and as respectable in the eyes of the world as she is in those of her grateful mulatto
However there was some hope left for him yet—Adeline he thought was not a woman likely to be overscrupulous in her ideas and might very naturally think herself at liberty to accept the protection of a lover when from no fault of hers she had lost that of her husband
It is natural to suppose that while elevated with these hopes he did not fail to be very constant in his visits to Adeline and that at length more led by passion than policy he abruptly at the end of ten days informed Adeline that he knew her situation and that he trusted that she would allow him to hope that in due time his love which had been proof against time absence and disdain would meet with reward and that on his settling a handsome income on her and her child for their joint lives she would allow him to endeavour to make her as happy as she and she only could make him
To this proposal which was in form of a letter Colonel Mordaunt did not receive an immediate answer nor was it at first likely that he should ever receive an answer to it at all as Adeline was at the moment of its arrival confined to her bed according to her expectations with the disease which she had been but too fearful of imbibing while the halfdistracted mulatto was forced to give up to others the care of the sickening Editha to watch over the delirious and unconscious Adeline
But the tawny boys generous benefactress gave him leave to remain at Adelines lodgings in order to calm his fears for Editha and assist in amusing and keeping her quiet and if attention had any share in preserving the life and beauty of Editha it was to the affectionate tawny boy that she owed them and he was soon rewarded for all his care and anxiety by seeing his little charge able to play about as usual
Colonel Mordaunt and the mulatto meanwhile did not obtain so speedy a termination to their anxieties Adelines recovery was for a long time a matter of doubt and her weakness so great after the crisis of the disorder was past that none ventured to pronounce her even then out of danger
But at length she was in a great measure restored to health and able to determine what line of conduct it was necessary for her to pursue—To return an answer to Colonel Mordaunts proposals was certainly her first business but as she felt that the situation in which he had once known her made his offer less affronting than it would have been under other circumstances she resolved to speak to him on the subject with gentleness not severity especially as during her illness to amuse the anxiety that had preyed upon him he had taken every possible step to procure evidence of the marriage and gave into Savannas hands the first day that he was permitted to see her an attested certificate of it
CHAPTER XXI
The first question which Adeline asked on her recovery was Whether any letter had come by the generalpost during her illness and Savanna gave one to her immediately
It was the letter so ardently desired for the direction was in her mothers handwriting and she opened it full of eager expectation while her whole existence seemed to depend on the nature of its contents What then must have been her agony on finding that the enveloppe contained nothing but her own letter returned For some time she spoke not she breathed not while Savanna mixed with expressions of terror at sight of her mistresss distress poured execrations on the unnatural parent who had so cruelly occasioned it
After a few days incessant struggle to overcome the violence of her sorrow Adeline recovered the shock in appearance at least yet to Savannas selfcongratulations she could not help answering laying her hand on her heart The blow is here Savanna and the wound incurable
Soon after she thought herself well enough to see Colonel Mordaunt and to thank him for the recent proof of his attention to her and her interest But no obligation however great could shut the now vigilant eyes of Adeline to the impropriety of receiving further visits from him or to the guilt of welcoming to her house a man who made open professions to her of illicit love
She however thought it her duty to see him once more in order to try to reconcile him to the necessity of the rule of conduct which she was going to lay down for herself nor was she without hope that the yet recent traces of the disease to which she had so nearly fallen a victim would make her appearance so unpleasing to the eyes of her lover that he would be very willing to absent himself from the house for some time at least and probably give up all thoughts of her
But she did neither herself nor Colonel Mordaunt justice—She was formed to inspire a real and lasting passion—a passion that no external change could destroy—since it was founded on the unchanging qualities of the heart and mind and Colonel Mordaunt felt for her such an attachment in all its force He had always admired the attractive person and winning graces of Adeline and felt for her what he denominated love but that rational though enthusiastic preference which is deserving of the name of true love he never felt till he had had an opportunity to appreciate justly the real character of Adeline still there were times when he felt almost gratified to reflect that she could not legally be his for whatever might have been the cause and excuse of her errors she had erred and the delicacy of his mind revolted at the idea of marrying the mistress of another
But when he saw and heard Adeline this repugnance vanished and he knew that could he at those moments lead her to the altar he should not have hesitated to bind himself to her for ever by the sacred ties which the early errors of her judgment had made her even in his opinion almost unworthy to form
At length a day was fixed for his interview with Adeline and with a beating heart he entered the apartment nor was his emotion diminished when he beheld not only the usual vestiges of her complaint but symptoms of debility and a deathlike meagreness of aspect which made him fear that though one malady was conquered another even more dangerous remained The idea overcame him and he was forced to turn to the window to hide his emotion and his manner was so indicative of ardent yet respectful attachment that Adeline began to feel in spite of herself that her projected task was difficult of execution
For some minutes neither of them spoke Mordaunt held the hand which she gave him to his heart kissed it as she withdrew it and again turned away his head to conceal a starting tear while Adeline was not sorry to have a few moments in which to recover herself before she addressed him on the subject at that time nearest to the heart of both At length she summoned resolution enough to say—
Much as I have been mortified and degraded Colonel Mordaunt by the letter which I have received from you still I rejoice that I did receive it—in the first place I rejoice because I look on all the sufferings and mortifications which I meet with as merciful chastisements as expiations inflicted on me in mercy by the Being whom I adore for the sins of which I have been guilty and in the second place because it gives me an opportunity of proving incontrovertibly my full conviction of the fallacy of my past opinions and that I became a wife after my idle declamations against marriage from change of principle on assurance of error and not from interest or necessity
Here she paused overcome with the effort which she had made and Colonel Mordaunt would have interrupted her but earnestly conjuring him to give her a patient hearing she proceeded thus—
Had the change in my practice been the result of any thing but rational conviction I should now unfortunate as I have been in the choice of a husband regret that ever I formed so foolish a tie and perhaps be induced to enter into a less sacred connexion from an idea that that state which forced me to drag out existence in hopeless misery was contrary to reason justice and the benefit of society and that the sooner its ties were dissolved the better it would be for individual happiness and for the world at large
And do you not think so cried Colonel Mordaunt cannot your own individual experience convince you of it
Far from it replied Adeline and I bless God that it does not for thence and thence only do I begin to be reconciled to myself I have no doubt that there is a great deal of individual suffering in the marriage state from a contrariety of temper and other causes but I believe that the mass of happiness and virtue is certainly increased by it Individual suffering therefore is no argument for the abolition of marriage than the accidental bursting of a musket would be for the total abolition of firearms
But surely dear Mrs Berrendale you would wish divorce to be made easier than it is
By no means interrupted Adeline understanding what he was going to say to bear and forbear I believe to be the grand secret of happiness and that it ought to be the great study of life therefore whatever would enable married persons to separate on the slightest quarrel or disgust would make it so much the less necessary for us to learn this important lesson a lesson so needful in order to perfect the human character that I believe the difficulty of divorce to be one of the greatest blessings of society
What can have so completely changed your opinions on this subject replied Colonel Mordaunt
Not my own experience returned Adeline for the painful situations in which I have been placed I might attribute not to the fallacy of the system on which I have acted but to those existing prejudices in society which I wish to see destroyed
Then to what else is the change in your sentiments to be attributed
To a more serious unimpassioned and unprejudiced view of the subject than I had before taken at present I am not equal to expatiate on matters so important however some time or other perhaps I may make known to you my sentiments on them in a more ample manner but I have I trust said enough to lead you to conclude that though Mr Berrendales conduct to me has been atrocious and that you are in many respects entitled to my gratitude and thanks you and I must henceforward be strangers to each other
Colonel Mordaunt little expecting such a total overthrow to his hopes was on receiving it choked with contending emotions and his broken sentences and pale cheek were sufficiently expressive of the distress which he endured But I shall not enter into a detail of all he urged in favour of his passion nor the calm dignified manner in which Adeline replied Suffice that at last from a sort of intuitive knowledge of the human heart as it were which persons of quick talent and sensibilities possess however defective their experience Adeline resolved to try to soothe the selflove which she had wounded knowing that selflove is scarcely to be distinguished in its effects from love itself and that the agony of disappointed passion is always greater when it is inflicted by the coldness or falsehood of the beloved object than when it proceeds from parental prohibition or the cruel separation enjoined by conscious poverty She therefore told Colonel Mordaunt that he was once very near being the first choice of her heart when she first saw him she said his person and manners and attentions had so strongly prepossessed her in his favour that he himself by ceasing to see and converse with her could alone have saved her from the pain of a hopeless attachment
In pity spare me cried Mordaunt the contemplation of the happiness I might have enjoyed
But you know you were not a marryingman as it is called and forgive me if I say that men who can on system suppress the best feelings of their nature and prefer a course of libertine indulgence to a virtuous connexion at that time of life when they might become happy husbands and fathers with the reasonable expectation of living to see their children grown up to manhood and superintending their education themselves—such men Colonel Mordaunt deserve in the decline of life to feel that regret and that selfcondemnation which you this moment anticipate
True—too true replied the colonel but for mercys sake torture me no more
I would not probe where I did not intend to make a cure replied Adeline
A cure—what mean you
I mean to induce you ere it be yet too late to endeavour to form a virtuous attachment and to unite yourself for life with some amiable young woman who will make you as happy as I would have endeavoured to make you had it been my fortunate lot to be yours for believe me Colonel Mordaunt and her voice faltered as she said it had he whom I still continue to love with unabated tenderness though years have elapsed since he was taken from me—had he bequeathed me to you on his deathbed the reluctance with which I went to the altar would have been more easily overcome
Saying this she suddenly left the room leaving Colonel Mordaunt surprised gratified and his mind struggling between hopes and fears for Adeline was not conscious that she imparted hope as well as consolation by the method which she pursued and though she sent Savanna to tell the colonel she could see him no more that evening he departed in firm expectation that Adeline would not have resolution to forbid him to see her again
In this however he was mistaken Adeline had learnt the best of all lessons distrust of her own strength—and she resolved to put it out of her power to receive visits which a regard to propriety forbade and which might injure her reputation if not her peace of mind Therefore as soon as Colonel Mordaunt was gone she summoned Savanna and desired her to proceed to business
What cried the delighted mulatto are we going to prosecu massa
No replied Adeline we are going into the country I am come to a determination to take no legal steps in this affair but leave Mr Berrendale to the reproaches of his own conscience
A fiddles end replied Savanna he have no conscience or he no leave you better get him hang if you can den you marry de colonel
I had better hang the father of my child had I Savanna
Oh no no no no—me forget dat
But I do not nor can I even bear to disgrace the father of Editha therefore trusting that I can dispose of her and secure her interest better than by forcing her father to do her justice and bastardize the poor innocent whom his wife will soon bring into the world I am going to bury myself in retirement and live the short remainder of my days unknowing and unknown
CHAPTER XXII
Savanna was going to remonstrate but the words short remainder of my days distressed her so much that tears choked her words and she obeyed in silence her mistresss orders to pack up except when she indulged in a few exclamations against her ladys cruelty in going away without taking leave of Colonel Mordaunt who sweet gentleman would break his heart at her departure especially as he was not to know whither she was going A postchaise was at the door the next morning at six oclock and as Adeline had not much luggage having left the chief part of her furniture to be divided between the mistresses of her two lodgings in return for their kind attention to her and her child she took an affectionate leave of her landlady and desired the postboy to drive a mile on the road before him and when he had done so she ordered him to go on to Barnet while the disappointed mulatto thanked God that the tawny boy was gone to Scotland with his protectress as it prevented her having the mortification of leaving him behind her as well as the colonel—O had I such a lover cried she her eyes filling with tears me never leave him nor he me and for the first time she thought her angellady hardhearted
For some miles they proceeded in silence for Adeline was too much engrossed to speak and the little Editha being fast asleep in the mulattos arms did not draw her mother out of the reverie into which she had fallen
And where now said the mulatto when the chaise stopped
To the next stage on the high north road And on they went again nor did they stop except for refreshments till they had travelled thirty miles when Adeline worn out with fatigue staid all night at the inn where the chaise stopped and the next morning they resumed their journey but not their silence The mulatto could no longer restrain her curiosity and she begged to know whither they were going and why they were to be buried in the country
Adeline sighing deeply answered that they were going to live in Cumberland and then sunk into silence again as she could not give the mulatto her true reasons for the plan that she was pursuing without wounding her affectionate heart in a manner wholly incurable The truth was that Adeline supposed herself to be declining she thought that she experienced those dreadful languors those sensations of internal weakness which however veiled to the eye of the observer speak in forcible language to the heart of the conscious sufferer Indeed Adeline had long struggled but in vain against feelings of a most overwhelming nature amongst which remorse and horror for having led by her example and precepts an innocent girl into a life of infamy were the most painfully predominant for believing Mary Warners assertion when she saw her at Mr Langleys chambers she looked upon that unhappy girls guilt as the consequence of her own and mourned incessantly mourned over the fatal errors of her early judgment which had made her though an idolater of virtue a practical assistant to the cause of vice When Adeline imagined the term of her existence to be drawing nigh her mother her obdurate but still dear mother regained her wonted ascendancy over her affections and to her the approach of death seemed fraught with satisfaction For that parent so long so repeatedly deaf to her prayers and to the detail of those sufferings which she had made one of the conditions of her forgiveness had promised to see and to forgive her on her deathbed and her heart yearned fondly yearned for the moment when she should be pressed to the bosom of a relenting parent
To Cumberland therefore she was resolved to hasten and into the very neighbourhood of Mrs Mowbray while as the chaise wheeled them along to the place of their destination even the prattle of her child could not always withdraw her from the abstraction into which she was plunged as the scenes of her early years thronged upon her memory and with them the recollection of those proofs of a mothers fondness for a renewal of which even in the society of Glenmurray she had constantly and despondingly sighed
As they approached Penrith her emotion redoubled and she involuntarily exclaimed—Cruel but still dear mother you little think your child is so near
Heaven save me cried Savanna are we to go and be near dat woman
Yes replied Adeline Did she not say she would forgive me on my deathbed
But you not there yet dear missess sobbed Savanna you not there of long years
Savanna returned Adeline I should die contented to purchase my mothers blessing and forgiveness
Savanna speechless with contending emotions could not express by words the feeling of mixed sorrow and indignation which overwhelmed her but she replied by putting Editha in Adelines arms then articulating with effort Look there she sobbed aloud
I understand you said Adeline kissing away the tears gathering in Edithas eyes at sight of Savannas distress but perhaps I think my death would be of more service to my child than my life
And to me too I suppose replied Savanna reproachfully Well—me go to Scotland for no one love me but the tawny boy
You will stay and close my eyes first I hope observed Adeline mournfully
In a moment Savannas resentment vanished Me will live and die vid you she replied her tears redoubling while Adeline again sunk into thoughtful silence
As soon as they reached Penrith Adeline inquired for lodgings out of the town on that side nearest to her mothers abode and was so fortunate as she esteemed herself to procure two apartments at a small house within two miles of Mrs Mowbrays
Then I breathe once more the same air with my mother exclaimed Adeline as she took possession of her lodging Savanna methinks I breathe freer already
Me more choked replied the mulatto and turned sullenly away
Nay I—I feel so much better that tomorrow I will—I will take a walk said Adeline hesitatingly
And where asked Savanna eagerly
Oh tonight I shall only walk to bed replied Adeline smiling and with unusual cheerfulness she retired to rest
The next morning she arose early and being informed that a stile near a peasants cottage commanded a view of Mrs Mowbrays house she hired a man and cart to convey her to the bottom of the hill and with Editha by her side she set out to indulge her feelings by gazing on the house which contained her mother
When they alighted Editha gaily endeavoured to climb the hill and urged her mother to follow her but Adeline rendered weak by illness and breathless by emotion felt the ascent so difficult that no motive less powerful than the one which actuated her could have enabled her to reach the summit
At length however she did reach it—and the lawn before Mrs Mowbrays white house her hayfields and the running stream at the bottom of it burst in all their beauty on her view—And this is my mothers dwelling exclaimed Adeline and there was I born and near here— shall I die she would have added but her voice failed her
Oh what a pretty house and garden cried Editha in the unformed accents of childhood—how I should like to live there
This artless remark awakened a thousand mixed and overpowering feelings in the bosom of Adeline and after a pause of strong emotion she exclaimed catching the little prattler to her heart—you shall live there my child—yes yes you shall live there
But when resumed Editha
When I am in my grave answered Adeline
And when shall you be there replied the unconscious child fondly caressing her pray mamma—pray be there soon
Adeline turned away unable to answer her
Look—look mamma—resumed Editha there are ladies—Oh do let us go there now—why cant we
Would to God we could replied Adeline as in one of the ladies she recognized Mrs Mowbray and stood gazing on her till her eyes ached again but what she felt on seeing her she will herself describe in the succeeding pages and I shall only add that as soon as Mrs Mowbray returned into the house Adeline wrapped in a long and mournful reverie returned full of a new plan to her lodgings
There is no love so disinterested as parental love and Adeline had all the keen sensibilities of a parent To make therefore assurance doubly sure that Mrs Mowbray should receive and should love her orphan when she was no more she resolved to give up the gratification to which she had looked forward the hope before she died of obtaining her forgiveness—that she might not weaken by directing any part of them to herself those feelings of remorse fruitless tenderness and useless regret in her mothers bosom which she wished should be concentrated on her child
No said Adeline to herself I am sure that she will not refuse to receive my orphan to her love and protection when I am no more and am become alike insensible of reproaches and of blessings and I think that she will love my child the more tenderly because to me she will be unable to express the compunction which sooner or later she will feel from the recollection of her conduct towards me therefore I will make no demands on her love for myself but in a letter to be given her after my decease bequeath my orphan to her care—and with this determination she returned from her ride
Have you see her said Savanna running out to meet her
Yes—but not spoken to her nor shall I see her again
What—I suppose she see you and not speak
Oh no she did not see me nor shall I urge her to see me my plans are altered replied Adeline
And we go back to town and Colonel Mordaunt
No resumed Adeline sighing deeply and preparing to write to Mrs Mowbray
But it is necessary that we should for a short time go back to Berrendale and relate that while Adeline and Editha were confined with the smallpox Mr Drury received a summons from his employer in Jamaica to go over thither to be intrusted with some particular business in consequence of this he resolved to call again on Adeline and inquire whether she still persisted in styling herself Mrs Berrendale as he concluded that Berrendale would be very glad of all the information relative to her and her child which he could possibly procure whether his curiosity on the subject proceeded from fear or love
It so happened that as soon as Editha as well as her mother was in the height of the disorder Mr Drury called and finding that they were both very bad he thought that his friend Berrendale was likely to get rid of both his encumbrances at once and being eager to communicate good news to a man whose influence in the island might be a benefit to him he every day called to inquire concerning their health
The second floor in the house where Adeline lodged was then occupied by a young woman in indigent circumstances who as well as her child had sickened with the distemper the very day that Editha was inoculated and when Drury just as he was setting off for Portsmouth ran to gain the latest intelligence of the invalids a charwoman who attended to the door not being acquainted with the name of the poor young woman and her little girl concluding that Mr Drury by Mrs Berrendale and miss who were ill with the smallpox meant them replied to his inquiries—Ah poor things it is all over with them they died last night
On which not staying for any further intelligence Drury set off for Portsmouth and arrived at Jamaica just as Berrendale was going to remit to Adeline a draft for a hundred pounds For Adeline and the injury which he had done her had been for some days constantly present to his thoughts He had been ill and as indigestion the cause of his complaints is apt to occasion disturbed dreams he had in his dreams been haunted by the image of Glenmurray who with a threatening aspect had reproached him with cruelty and base ingratitude to him in deserting in such a manner the wife whom he had bequeathed to him
The constant recurrence of these dreams had depressed his spirits and excited his remorse so much that he could calm his feelings in no other way than by writing a kind letter to Adeline and enclosing her a draft on his banker This letter was on the point of being sent when Drury arrived and with very little ceremony informed him that Adeline was dead
Dead exclaimed Berrendale falling almost sensless on his couch Dead—Oh for Gods sake tell me of what she died—Surely surely she— Here his voice failed him
Drury coolly replied that she and her child both died of the smallpox
But when my dear fellow—when Say that they died nine months ago that was previous to his marriage and you make me your friend for life
Drury so bribed would have said any thing and with all the coolness possible he replied Then be my friend for life—they died rather better than nine months ago
Berrendale being then convinced that bigamy was not likely to be proved against him soon forgot in the joy which this thought occasioned him remorse for his conduct to Adeline and regret for her early fate besides he concluded that he saved £100 by the means for he knew not that the delicate mind of Adeline would have scorned to owe pecuniary obligations to the husband who had basely and unwarrantably deserted her
But he was soon undeceived on this subject by a letter which Colonel Mordaunt wrote in confidence to a friend in Jamaica begging him to inquire concerning Mr Berrendales second marriage and to inform him privately that his injured wife had zealous and powerful friends in England who were continually urging her to prosecute him for bigamy
This intelligence had a fatal effect on the health of Berrendale for though the violent temper and overbearing disposition of his second wife had often made him regret the gentle and compliant Adeline and a separation from her consequently would be a blessing still he feared to encounter the disgrace of a prosecution and still more the anger of his West Indian wife who it was not improbable might even attack his life in the first moment of ungoverned passion
And to these fears he soon fell a sacrifice for a frame debilitated by intemperance could not support the assaults made on it by the continued apprehensions which Colonel Mordaunts friend had excited in him and he died in that gentlemans presence whom in his last moments he had summoned to his apartment to witness a will by which he owned Adeline Mowbray to be his lawful wife and left Editha his acknowledged and only heir a very considerable fortune
But this circumstance an account of which with the will was transmitted to Colonel Mordaunt did not take place till long after Adeline took up her abode in Cumberland
CHAPTER XXIII
But to return to Colonel Mordaunt Though Adeline had said that he must discontinue his visits he resolved to disobey her and the next morning as soon as he thought she had breakfasted he repaired to her lodgings where he heard with mixed sorrow and indignation that she had set off in a postchaise at six oclock and was gone no one knew whither
But surely she has left some note or message for me exclaimed Colonel Mordaunt
Neither the one nor the other was the answer and he returned home in no very enviable state of mind
Various indeed and contradictory were his feelings yet still affection was uppermost and he could not but respect in Adeline the conduct which drove him to despair Nor was selflove backward to suggest to him that had not Adeline felt his presence and attentions to be dangerous she would not so suddenly have withdrawn from them and this idea was the only one on which he could at all bear to dwell for when he reflected that day after day might pass without his either seeing or hearing from her existence seemed to become suddenly a burthen and he wandered from place to place with joyless and unceasing restlessness
At one time he resolved to pursue her but the next piqued at not having received from her even a note of farewell he determined to endeavour to forget her and this was certainly the wiser plan of the two but the succeeding moment he determined to let a week pass in hopes of receiving a letter from her and in case he did not to set off in search of her being assured of succeeding in his search of her because the singularity of Savannas appearance and the traces of the smallpox visible in the face of Adeline made them liable to be observed and easy for him to describe
But before the week elapsed from agitation of mind and from having exposed himself unnecessarily to cold by lying on damp grass at midnight after having heated himself by immoderate walking Colonel Mordaunt became ill of a fever and when after a confinement of several weeks he was restored to health he despaired of being able to learn tidings of the fugitives and disappointed and dejected he sought in the gayest scenes of the metropolis and its environs to drown the remembrances from which in solitude he had vainly endeavoured to fly At this time a faded but attractive woman of quality with whom he had formerly been intimate returned from abroad and meeting Colonel Mordaunt at the house of a mutual friend endeavoured to revive in him his former attachment but it was a difficult task for a woman who had never been able to touch the heart to excite an attachment in a man already sentimentally devoted to another
Her advances however flattered Colonel Mordaunt and her society amused him till at length their intimacy was renewed on its former footing but soon tired of his mistress and displeased with himself he took an abrupt leave of her and throwing himself into his postchaise retired to the seat of a relation in Herefordshire
Near this gentlemans house lived Mr Maynard and his two sisters who had taken up their abode there immediately on their return from Portugal Major Douglas his wife and Emma Douglas were then on a visit to them Mordaunt had known Major Douglas in early life and as soon as he found that he was in the neighbourhood he rode over to renew his acquaintance with him and received so cordial a welcome not only from the major but the master of the house and his sisters that he was strongly induced to repeat his visits and not a day passed in which he was not during some part of it a guest at Mr Maynards
Mrs Wallington and Miss Maynard indeed received him with such pointed marks of distinction and preference as to make it visible to every observer that it was not as a friend only they were desirous of considering Colonel Mordaunt while by spiteful looks and acrimonious remarks directed to each other the sisters expressed the jealousy which rankled in their hearts whenever he seemed by design or inadvertency to make one of them the particular object of his attention
Of Emma Douglass chance for his favour they were not at all fearful—they thought her too plain and too unattractive to be capable of rivalling them especially in the favour of an officer a man of fashion and therefore they beheld without emotion the attention which Colonel Mordaunt paid to her whenever she spoke and the deference which he evidently felt for her opinion as her remarks on whatever subject she conversed were formed always to interest and often to instruct
One evening while Major Douglas was amusing himself in looking over some magazines which had lately been bound up together and had not yet been deposited in Mr Maynards library he suddenly started laid down the book and turning to the window with an exclamation of—Poor fellow—passed his hand across his eyes as if meaning to disperse an involuntary tear
What makes you exclaim Poor fellow asked his lovely wife have you met with an affecting story in those magazines
No Louisa replied he but I met in the obituary with a confirmation of the death of an old friend which I suspected must have happened by this time though I never knew it before I see by this magazine that poor Glenmurray died a very few months after we saw him at Perpignan
Poor fellow exclaimed Mrs Douglas
I wish I knew what is become of his interesting companion Miss Mowbray said Emma Douglas
I wish I did too secretly sighed Colonel Mordaunt but his heart palpitated so violently at this unexpected mention of the woman for whom he still pined in secret that he had not resolution to say that he knew her
Become of her cried Miss Maynard sneeringly you need not wonder I think what her fate is no doubt Mr Glenmurrays interesting companion has not lost her companionable qualities and is a companion still
Yes observed Mrs Wallington or rather I dare say that angel of purity is gone upon the town
It was the dark hour else Colonel Mordaunts agitation on hearing these gross and unjust remarks must have betrayed his secret to every eye while indignation now impeded his utterance as much as confusion had done before
Surely surely cried the kind and candid Emma Douglas I must grossly have mistaken Miss Mowbrays character if she was capable of the conduct which you attribute to her
My dear creature replied Mrs Wallington how should you know any thing of her character when it was gone long before you knew her—Character indeed you remind me of my brother—Mr Davenport continued she to a gentleman present did you ever hear the story of my brother and an angel of purity whom he met with abroad
No—never
Be quiet said Maynard I will not be laughed at
However Mrs Wallington and Miss Maynard who had not yet forgiven the deep impression which Adelines graces had made on their brother insisted on telling the story to which Colonel Mordaunt listened with eager and anxious curiosity It received all the embellishments which female malice could give it and if it amused any one certainly that person was neither Mordaunt nor Emma Douglas nor her gentle sister
But how fortunate it was added Miss Maynard that we were not with my brother as we should unavoidably have walked and talked with this angel
Mordaunt longed to say I think the good fortune was all on Miss Mowbrays side
But Adeline and her cause were in good hands Emma Douglas stood forth as her champion—We feel very differently on that subject she replied I shall ever regret not that I saw and conversed with Miss Mowbray but that I did not see and converse with her again and again
At this moment Emma was standing by Colonel Mordaunt who involuntarily caught her hand and pressed it eagerly but tried to disguise his motives by suddenly seating her in a chair behind her saying You had better sit down I am sure you must be tired with standing so long
No really Emma cried Major Douglas you go too far there though to be sure if by seeing and conversing with Miss Mowbray you could have convinced her of her errors I should not have objected to your seeing her once more or so
Surely said Mrs Douglas timidly we ought my love to have repeated our visits till we had made a convert of her
A convert of her exclaimed Mr Maynards sisters a convert of a kept mistress bursting into a violent laugh which had a most painful effect on the irritable nerves of Colonel Mordaunt whose tongue parched with emotion cleaved to the roof of his mouth whenever he attempted to speak
Pray to what other circumstance yet untold do you allude said Mr Davenport
Oh we too had a rencontre with the philosopher and his charming friend said Major Douglas and—but Emma do you tell the story—Sdeath—Poor fellow—Well but we parted good friends added the kindhearted Caledonian dispersing a tear while Emma in simple but impressive language related all that passed at Perpignan between themselves Adeline and Glenmurray and concluded with saying that from the almost idolatrous respect with which Glenmurray spoke and apparently thought of Adeline and from the account of her conduct and its motives which he so fully detailed she was convinced that so far from being influenced by depravity in connecting herself with Glenmurray Adeline was the victim of a romantic absurd and false conception of virtue and she should have thought it her duty to have endeavoured assisted by her sister to have prevailed on her to renounce her opinions and by becoming the wife of Glenmurray to restore to the society of her own sex a woman formed to be its ornament and its example Poor thing she added in a faltering voice would that I knew her fate
I can guess it I tell you said Mrs Wallington
We had better drop the subject madam replied Emma Douglas indignantly as it is one that we shall never agree upon If I supposed Miss Mowbray happy I should feel for her and feel interest sufficient in her fate to make me combat your prejudices concerning her but now that she is perhaps afflicted poor friendless and scorned though unjustly by every virtuous she that knows her story I cannot command my feelings when she is named with sarcastic respect nor can I bear to hear an unhappy woman supposed to be plunged in the lowest depths of vice whom I on the contrary believe to be at this moment atoning for the error of her judgment by a life of lonely penitence or sunk perhaps already in the grave the victim of a broken heart
Colonel Mordaunt affected and delighted hung on Emma Douglass words with breathless attention resolving when she had ended her narration to begin his and clear Adeline from the calumnies of Mrs Wallington and Miss Maynard but after articulating with some difficulty—Ladies—I—Miss Douglas—I— he found that his feelings would not allow him to proceed therefore suddenly raising Emmas hand to his lips imprinted on it a kiss at once fervent and respectful and making a hasty bow ran out of the house
Every one was astonished but none so much as Emma Douglas
Why Emma cried the major who should have thought it I verily believe you have turned Mordaunts head—I protest that he kissed your hand—I suppose he will be here tomorrow making proposals in form
I wish he may exclaimed Mrs Douglas
It is not very likely I think cried Miss Maynard
Mrs Wallington said nothing but she fanned herself violently
How do you know that said Maynard He kissed your hand very tenderly—did he not Miss Douglas and took advantage of the dark hour that looks very loverlike
Emma Douglas who in spite of her reason was both embarrassed and flattered by Colonel Mordaunts unexpected mode of taking leave said not a word but Mrs Wallington in a voice hoarse with angry emotion cried
It was very free in him I think and very unlike Colonel Mordaunt for he was not a sort of man to take liberties but where he met with encouragement
Then I am sure he would be free with you sister sometimes sarcastically observed Miss Maynard
Nay with both of you I think replied Maynard who had not forgiven the laugh at his expense which they had tried to excite on which an angry dialogue took place between the brother and sisters and the Douglases disgusted and provoked retired to their apartment
There was something very strange and uncommon said Mrs Douglas detaining Emma in her dressingroom in Colonel Mordaunts behaviour—Do you not think so Emma—If it should have any meaning
Meaning cried the major what meaning should it have Why my dear do you think Mordaunt never kissed a womans hand before
But it was so particular—Well Emma if it should lead to consequences
Consequences cried the major my dear girl what can you mean
Why if he should really love our Emma
Why then I hope our Emma will love him—What say you Emma
I say—I— she replied really I never thought it possible that Colonel Mordaunt should have any thoughts of me nor do I now—but it is very strange that he should kiss my hand
The major could not help laughing at the naiveté of this reply and in a mutual whisper they agreed how much they wished to see their sister so happily disposed of while Emma paced up and down her own apartment some time before she undressed herself and after seeming to convince herself by recollecting all Colonel Mordaunts conduct towards her that he could not possibly mean any thing by his unusual adieu she went to sleep exclaiming But it is very strange that he should kiss my hand
CHAPTER XXIV
The next morning explained the mystery for breakfast was scarcely over when Colonel Mordaunt appeared and his presence occasioned a blush from different causes on the cheeks of all the ladies and a smile on the countenances of both the gentlemen
You left us very abruptly last night said Major Douglas
I did so replied Mordaunt with a sort of grave smile
Were you taken ill asked Maynard
I—I was not quite easy answered he but Miss Douglas may I request the honour of seeing you alone for a few minutes
Again the ladies blushed and the gentlemen smiled But Emmas weakness had been temporary she had convinced herself that Colonel Mordaunts action had been nothing more than a tribute to what he fancied her generous defence of an unfortunate woman and with an air of embarrassed dignity she gave him her hand to lead her into an adjoining apartment
This is very good of you cried Colonel Mordaunt but you are all goodness—My dear Miss Douglas had I not gone away as I did last night I believe I should have fallen down and worshipped you or committed some other extravagance
Indeed—What could I say to excite such enthusiasm replied Emma deeply blushing
What—Oh Miss Douglas—Then after a few more ohs and other exclamations he related to her the whole progress of his acquaintance with an attachment to Adeline adding as he concluded Now then judge what feelings you must have excited in my bosom—yes Miss Douglas I reverenced you before for your own sake I now adore you for that of my lost Adeline
So thought Emma the kiss of the hand is explained—and she sighed as she thought it nor did she much like the word reverenced but she had ample amends for her mortification by what followed
Really cried Colonel Mordaunt gazing very earnestly at her I do not mean to flatter you but there is something in your countenance that reminds me very strongly of Adeline
Is it possible said Emma her cheeks glowing and her eyes sparkling as she spoke you may not mean to flatter me but I assure you I am flattered for I never saw any woman whom in appearance I so much wished to resemble
You do resemble her indeed cried Colonel Mordaunt and the likeness grows stronger and stronger
Emma blushed deeper and deeper
But come exclaimed he let us go and I will—no you shall—relate to the party in the next room what I have been telling you for I long to shame those d—
Fye said Emma smiling and holding up her hand as if to stop the coming word And she did stop it for Colonel Mordaunt conveyed the reproving hand to his lips and Emma said to herself as she half frowning withdrew it I am glad my brother was not present
Their return to the breakfastroom was welcome to every one from different causes as Colonel Mordaunts motives for requesting a têteàtête had given rise to various conjectures But all conjecture was soon lost in certainty for Emma Douglas with more than usual animation of voice and countenance related what Colonel Mordaunt had authorized her to relate and the envious sisters heard with increased resentment that Adeline were she unmarried would be the choice of the man whose affections they were eagerly endeavouring to captivate
You cant think said Colonel Mordaunt when Emma had concluded leaving him charmed with the manner in which she had told his story and with the generous triumph which sparkled in her eyes at being able to exhibit Adelines character in so favourable a point of view you cant think how much Miss Douglas reminds me of Mrs Berrendale
Lord said Miss Maynard with a toss of the head my brother told us that she was handsome
And so she is replied the colonel provoked at this brutal speech she has one of the finest countenances that I ever saw—a countenance never distorted by those feelings of envy and expressions of spite which so often disfigure some women—converting even a beauty into a fiend and in this respect no one will doubt that Miss Douglas resembles her
Whats female beauty—but an air divine
Thro which the minds all gentle graces shine
says one of our first poets therefore in Dr Youngs opinion madam continued Mordaunt turning to Emma you would have been a perfect beauty
This speech so truly gratifying to the amiable girl to whom it was addressed was a dagger in the heart of both the sisters Nor was Emmas pleasure unalloyed by pain for she feared that Mordaunts attentions might become dangerous to her peace of mind as she could not disguise to herself that his visits at Mr Maynards had been the chief cause of her reluctance to return to Scotland whenever their journey home was mentioned For always humble in her ideas of her own charms Emma Douglas could not believe that Mordaunt would ever entertain any feeling for her at all resembling love except when he fancied that she looked like Adeline
But however unlikely it seemed that Mordaunt should become attached to her and however resolved she was to avoid his society certain it is that he soon found he could be happy in the society of no other woman since to no other could he talk on the subject nearest his heart and Emma though blaming herself daily for her temerity could not refuse to receive Mordaunts visits and her patient attention to his conversation of which Adeline was commonly the theme seemed to have a salutary effect on his wounded feelings
But the time for their departure arrived much to the joy of Mrs Wallington and her sister who hoped when Emma was gone to have a chance of being noticed by Mordaunt
What then must have been their confusion and disappointment when Colonel Mordaunt begged to be allowed to attend the Douglases on their journey home as he had never seen the Highlands and wished to see them in such good company Major Douglas and his charming wife gave a glad consent to this proposal but Emma Douglas heard it with more alarm than pleasure for though her heart rejoiced at it her reason condemned it
A few days however convinced her apprehensive delicacy that if she loved Colonel Mordaunt it was not without hope of a return
Colonel Mordaunt declared that every day seemed to increase her resemblance to Adeline in expression and manner and in conduct his reason told him that she was her superior nor could he for a moment hesitate to prefer as a wife Emma Douglas who had never erred to Adeline who had
Colonel Mordaunt felt to borrow the words of a celebrated female writer1 that though it is possible to love and esteem a woman who has expiated the faults of her youth by a sincere repentance and though before God and man her errors may be obliterated still there exists one being in whose eyes she can never hope to efface them and that is her lover or her husband He felt that no man of acute sensibility can be happy with a woman whose recollections are not pure she must necessarily be jealous of the opinion which he entertains of her and he must be often afraid of speaking lest he utter a sentiment that may wound and mortify her Besides he was on just grounds more desirous of marrying a woman whom he admired than one whom he forgave and therefore while he addressed Emma he no longer regretted Adeline
In short he at length ceased to talk of Emmas resemblance to Adeline but seemed to admire her wholly for her own sake and having avowed his attachment and been assured of Emmas in return by Major Douglas he came back to England in the ensuing autumn the happy husband of one of the best of women
1 Madame de Stael Recueil de Morceaux détachés page 208
CHAPTER XXV
We left Adeline preparing to address Mrs Mowbray and recommend her child to her protection—but being deeply impressed with the importance of the task which she was about to undertake she timidly put it off from day to day and having convinced herself that it was her duty to endeavour to excite her husband to repentance and make him acknowledge Editha as his legitimate child she determined to write to him before she addressed her mother and also to bid a last farewell to Colonel Mordaunt whose respectful attachment had soothed some of the pangs which consciousness of her past follies had inflicted and whose active friendship deserved her warmest acknowledgment Little did she think the fatal effect which one instance of his friendly zeal in her cause had had on Berrendale unconscious was she that the husband whose neglect she believed to be intentional great as were his crimes against her was not guilty of the additional crime of suffering her to pine in poverty without making a single inquiry concerning her but was convinced that both she and her child were no longer in existence
In her letter to him she conjured him by the love which he always bore Glenmurray by the love he once bore her and by the remorse which he would sooner or later feel for his conduct towards her and her child to acknowledge Editha to be his lawful heir but to suffer her to remain under that protection to which she meant to bequeath her and on these conditions she left him her blessing and her pardon
The letter to Colonel Mordaunt was long and perhaps diffuse but Adeline was jealous of his esteem though regardless of his love and as he had known her while acting under the influence of a fatal error of opinion she wished to show him that on conviction she had abandoned her former way of thinking and was candid enough to own that she had been wrong
You no doubt she said are well acquainted with the arguments urged by different writers in favour of marriage I shall therefore only mention the argument which carried at length full conviction to my mind and conquered even my deep and heartfelt reverence for the opinions of one who long was and ever will be the dearest object of my love and regret But he had he lived would I am sure have altered his sentiments and had he been a parent the argument I allude to as it is founded on a consideration of the interest of children would have found its way to his reason through his affections
It is evident that on the education given to children must depend the welfare of the community and consequently that whatever is likely to induce parents to neglect the education of their children must be hurtful to the welfare of the community It is also certain that though the agency of the passions be necessary to the existence of all society it is on the cultivation and influence of the affections that the happiness and improvement of social life depend
Hence it follows that marriage must be more beneficial to society in its consequences than connexions capable of being dissolved at pleasure because it has a tendency to call forth and exercise the affections and control the passions It has been said that were we free to dissolve at will a connexion formed by love we should not wish to do it as constancy is natural to us and there is in all of us a tendency to form an exclusive attachment But though I believe from my own experience that the few are capable of unforced constancy and could love for life one dear and honoured object still I believe that the many are given to the love of change—that in men especially a new object can excite new passion and judging from the increasing depravity of both sexes in spite of existing laws and in defiance of shame—I am convinced that if the ties of marriage were dissolved or it were no longer to be judged infamous to act in contempt of them unbridled licentiousness would soon be in general practice What then in such a state of society would be the fate of the children born in it—What would their education be Parents continually engrossed in the enervating but delightful egotism of a new and happy love lost in selfish indulgence the passions awake but the affections slumbering and the sacred ties of parental feeling not having time nor opportunity to fasten on the heart—their offspring would either die the victims of neglect and the very existence of the human race be threatened or without morals or instruction they would grow up to scourge the world by their vices till the whole fabric of civilized society was gradually destroyed
On this ground therefore this strong ground I venture to build my present opinion that marriage is a wise and ought to be a sacred institution and I bitterly regret the hour when with the hasty and immature judgment of eighteen and with a degree of presumption scarcely pardonable at any time of life I dared to think and act contrary to this opinion and the reverend experience of ages and became in the eyes of the world an example of vice when I believed myself the champion of virtue
She then went on to express the following sentiments You will think perhaps that I ought to struggle against the weakness which is hurrying me to the grave and live for the sake of my child—Alas it is for her sake that I most wish to die
There are two ways in which a mother can be of use to her daughter the one is by instilling into her mind virtuous principles and by setting her a virtuous example the other is by being to her in her own person an awful warning a melancholy proof of the dangers which attend a deviation from the path of virtue But oh how jealous must a mother be of her childs esteem and veneration and how could she bear to humble herself in the eyes of the beloved object by avowing that she had committed crimes against society however atoned for by penitence and sorrow I can never now be a correct example for my Editha nor could I endure to live to be a warning to her—Nay if I lived I should be most probably a dangerous example to her for I should be on my deathbed I think I may be allowed the boast respected and esteemed while the society around me would forget my past errors in the sincerity of my repentance
If then a strong temptation should assail my child might she not yield to it from an idea that one false step may be retrieved and cite her mother as an example of this truth while unconscious of the many secret heartaches of that repentant mother unconscious of the sorrows and degradations she had experienced she regarded nothing but the present respectability of her mothers life and contented herself with hoping one day to resemble her
Believe me that were it possible for me to choose between life and death for my childs sake the choice would be the latter Now when she shall see in my mournful and eventful history written as it has been by me in moments of melancholy leisure that all my sorrows were consequent on one presumptuous error of judgment in early youth and shall see a long and minute detail of the secret agonies which I have endured those agonies wearing away my existence and ultimately hurrying me to an untimely grave she will learn that the woman who feels justly yet has been led even into the practice of vice however she may be forgiven by others can never forgive herself and though she may dare to lift an eye of hope to that Being who promises pardon on repentance she will still recollect with anguish the fair and glorious course which she might have run and that instead of humbly imploring forbearance and forgiveness she might have demanded universal respect and esteem
True it is that I did not act in defiance of the worlds opinion from any depraved feeling or vicious inclinations but the world could not be expected to believe this since motives are known only to our own hearts and the great Searcher of hearts therefore as far as example goes I was as great a stumblingblock to others as if the life I led had been owing to the influence of lawless desires and society was right in making and in seeing no distinction between me and any other woman living in an unsanctioned connexion
But methinks I hear you say that Editha might never be informed of my past errors Alas wretched must that woman be whose happiness and respectability depend on the secrecy of others Besides did I not think the concealment of crime in itself a crime how could I know an hour of peace while I reflected that a moments malice or inadvertency in one of Edithas companions might cause her to blush at her mothers disgrace—that while her young cheek was flushed perhaps with the artless triumphs of beauty talent and virtue the parent who envied me or the daughter who envied her might suddenly convert her joy into anguish and mortification by artfully informing her with feigned pity for my sorrows and admiration of my penitence that I had once been a disgrace to that family of which I was now the pride—No—even if I were not for ever separated in this world from the only man whom I ever loved with passionate and wellfounded affection united for life to the object of my just aversion and were I not conscious horrible and overwhelming thought of having by my example led another into the path of sin—still I repeat it for my childs sake I should wish to die and should consider not early death but lengthened existence as a curse
So Adeline reasoned and felt in her moments of reflection but the heart had sometimes dominion over her and as she gazed on Editha and thought that Mrs Mowbray might be induced to receive her again to her favour she wished even on any terms to have her life prolonged
CHAPTER XXVI
Having finished her letter to Colonel Mordaunt and Berrendale she again prepared to write to her mother a few transient fears overcoming every now and then those hopes of success in her application which till she took up her pen she had so warmly encouraged
Alas little did she know how erroneously for years she had judged of Mrs Mowbray Little did she suspect that her mother had long forgiven her had pined after her had sought though in vain to procure intelligence of her and was then wearing away her existence in solitary woe a prey to selfreproach and to the corroding fear that her daughter made desperate by her renunciation of her had on the death of Glenmurray plunged into a life of shame or sunk brokenhearted into the grave for not one of Adelines letters had ever reached Mrs Mowbray and the mother and daughter had both been the victims of female treachery and jealousy
Mrs Mowbray as soon as she had parted with Adeline for the last time had dismissed all her old servants the witnesses of her sorrows and disgrace and retired to her estate in Cumberland—an estate where Adeline had first seen the light and where Mrs Mowbray had first experienced the transport of a mother This spot was therefore ill calculated to banish Adeline from her mothers thoughts and to continue her seclusion from her affections
On the contrary her image haunted Mrs Mowbray—whithersoever she went she still saw her in an attitude of supplication she still heard the plaintive accents of her voice—and often did she exclaim My child my child wretch that I am must I never see thee more
These ideas increased to so painful a degree that finding her solitude insupportable she invited an orphan relation in narrow circumstances to take up her abode with her
This young woman whose ruling passion was avarice and whose greatest talent was cunning resolved to spare no pains to keep the situation which she had gained even to the exclusion of Adeline should Mrs Mowbray be weak enough to receive her again She therefore intercepted all the letters which were in or like Adelines handwriting and having learnt to imitate Mrs Mowbrays she enclosed them in a blank cover to Adeline who thinking the direction was written in her mothers hand desisted as the artful girl expected she would do from what appeared to her a hopeless application
And she exulted in her contrivance—when Mrs Mowbray on seeing in a magazine that Glenmurray was dead full a year after his decease bursting into a passion of tears protested that she would instantly invite Adeline to her house
Yes cried she I can do so without infringement of my oath—She is disgraced in the eye of the world by her connexion with Glenmurray and she is wretched in love nay more so perhaps than I have been and I can I will invite her to lose the remembrance of her misfortunes in my love
Thus did her ardent wish to be reunited to Adeline deceive her conscience for by the phrase wretched in love she meant forsaken by the object of her attachment—and that Adeline had not been therefore her oath remained in full force against her But where could she seek Adeline Dr Norberry could perhaps give her this information and to him she resolved to write—though he had cast her from his acquaintance but her pride as she said fell with her fortunes and she scrupled not to humble herself before the zealous friend of her daughter But this letter would never have reached him had not her treacherous relation been ill at the time when it was written
Dr Norberry had recovered the illness of which Adeline supposed him to have died but as her letter to him to which she received no answer alluded to the money transaction between her and Mrs Norberry and as she commented on the insulting expressions in Mrs Norberrys note that lady thought proper to suppress the second letter as well as the first and when the doctor on his recovery earnestly demanded to know whether any intelligence had been received of Miss Mowbray Mrs Norberry with pretended reluctance told him that she had written to him in great distress while he was delirious to borrow money that she had sent her ten pounds which Adeline had returned reproaching her for her parsimony and saying that she had found a friend who would not suffer her to want
But did you tell her that you thought me in great danger
I did
Why what woman did she not after that write to know how I was
Never
I could not have thought it of her answered the doctor—who could not but believe this story for the sake of his own peace as it was less destructive to his happiness to think Adeline in fault than his wife or children guilty of profligate falsehood he therefore with a deep sigh begged Adelines name might never be mentioned to him again and though he secretly wished to hear of her welfare he no longer made her the subject of conversation
But Mrs Mowbrays letter recalled her powerfully both to his memory and affections while with many a deepdrawn sigh he regretted that he had no possible means of discovering where she was—and with a heavy heart he wrote the following letter which Miss Woodville Mrs Mowbrays relation having first contrived to open and read it ventured to give into her hands as it contained no satisfactory information concerning Adeline
I look on the separation of my mother and me in this world to be eternal said the poor dear lost Adeline to me the last time we met You do replied I then poor devil how miserable will your mother be when her resentment subsides—Well when that time comes I may perhaps see her again added I with a queer something rising in my throat as I said it and your poor girl blessed me for the kind intention—Pshaw I have blotted the paper at my years it is a shame to be so wateryeyed Well—the time abovementioned is come—you are miserable you are repentant—and you ask me to forget and forgive—I do forget I do forgive some time or other too I will tell you so in person and were the lost Adeline to know that I did so she would bless me for the act as she did before for the intention But alas where she is what she is I know not and have not any means of knowing To say the truth her conduct to me and mine has been odd not to say wrong But poor thing she is either dead or miserable and I forgive her—so I do you as I said before and the Lord give you all the consolation which you so greatly need
Yours once more
In true kindness of spirit
James Norberry
This letter made Mrs Mowbrays wounds bleed afresh at the same time that it destroyed all her expectations of finding Adeline and the only hope that remained to cheer her was that she might perhaps if yet alive write sooner or later to implore forgiveness but month after month elapsed and no tidings of Adeline reached her despairing mother
She then put an advertisement in the paper so worded that Adeline had she seen it must have known to whom it alluded but it never met her eyes and Mrs Mowbray gave herself up to almost absolute despair when accident introduced her to a new acquaintance whose example taught her patience and whose soothing benevolence bade her hope for happier days
One day as Mrs Mowbray regardless of a heavy shower and lost in melancholy reflections was walking with irregular steps on the road to Penrith with an unopened umbrella in her hand she suddenly raised her eyes from the ground and beheld a Quaker lady pursued by an overdriven bullock and unable any longer to make an effort to escape its fury At this critical moment Mrs Mowbray from a sort of irresistible impulse as fortunate in its effects as presence of mind yet scarcely perhaps to be denominated such suddenly opened her umbrella and approaching the animal brandished it before his eyes Alarmed at this unusual appearance he turned hastily and ran towards the town where she saw that he was immediately met and secured
Thou hast doubtless saved my life said the Quaker grasping Mrs Mowbrays hand with an emotion which she vainly tried to suppress and I pray that thine may be blest
Mrs Mowbray returned the pressure of her hand and burst into tears overcome with joy for having saved a fellowcreatures life with terror which she was now at leisure to feel for the danger to which she had herself been exposed and with mournful emotion from the consciousness how much she needed the blessing which the grateful Quaker invoked on her head
Thou tremblest even more than I do observed the lady smiling but seeming ready to faint I believe we had better both of us sit down on the bank but it is so wet that perhaps we may as well endeavour to reach my house which is only at the end of yon field Mrs Mowbray bowed her assent and supporting each other they at length arrived at a neat white house to which the Quaker cordially bade her welcome
It was but this morning said Mrs Mowbray struggling for utterance that I called upon Death to relieve me from an existence at once wretched and useless Here she paused—and her new acquaintance cordially pressing her hand waited for the conclusion of her speech—but now continued Mrs Mowbray I revoke and repent my idle and vicious impatience of life I have probably saved your life and something like enjoyment now seems to enliven mine
I suspect replied the lady that thou hast known deep affliction and I rejoice that at this moment and in so providential a manner I have been introduced to thy acquaintance—for I too have known sorrow and the mourner knows how to speak comfort to the heart of the mourner My name is Rachel Pemberton and I hope that when I know thy name and thy story thou wilt allow me to devote to thy comfort some hours of the existence which thou hast preserved She then hastily withdrew to pour forth in solitude the breathings of devout gratitude—while Mrs Mowbray having communed with her own thoughts felt a glow of unwonted satisfaction steal over her mind and by the time Mrs Pemberton returned she was able to meet her with calmness and cheerfulness
Thou knowest my name said Mrs Pemberton as she entered seating herself by Mrs Mowbray but I have yet to learn thine
My name is Mowbray she replied sighing deeply
Mowbray—The lady of Rosevalley in Gloucestershire and the mother of Adeline Mowbray exclaimed Mrs Pemberton
What of Adeline Mowbray What of my child cried Mrs Mowbray seizing Mrs Pembertons hand Blessed woman tell me—Do you indeed know her—can you tell me where to find her
I will tell thee all that I know of her replied Mrs Pemberton in a faltering voice but thy emotion overpowers me—I—I was once a mother and I can feel for thee She then turned away her head to conceal a starting tear while Mrs Mowbray in incoherent eagerness repeated her questions and tremblingly awaited her answer
Is she well Is she happy—say but that she exclaimed sobbing as she spoke
She was well and contented when I last heard from her replied Mrs Pemberton calmly
Heard from her Then she writes to you Oh blessed blessed woman show me her letters and tell me only that she has forgiven me for all my unkindness to her— As she said this Mrs Mowbray threw her arms round Mrs Pemberton and sunk halffainting on her shoulder
I will tell thee all that has ever passed between us if thou wilt be composed gravely answered Mrs Pemberton but this violent expression of thy feelings is unseemly and detrimental
Well—well—I will be calm said Mrs Mowbray and Mrs Pemberton began to relate the interview which she had with Adeline at Richmond
How long ago did this take place eagerly interrupted Mrs Mowbray
Full six years
Oh God exclaimed she impatiently—Six years By this time then she may be dead—she may—
Thou art incorrigible I fear said Mrs Pemberton but thou art afflicted and I will bear with thy impatience—sit down again and attend to me and thou wilt hear much later intelligence of thy daughter
How late asked Mrs Mowbray with frantic eagerness—and Mrs Pemberton overcome with the manner in which she spoke could scarcely falter out Within a twelvemonth I have heard of her
Within a twelvemonth joyfully cried Mrs Mowbray but recollecting herself she added mournfully—but in that time what—what may not have happened
I know not what to do with thee nor for thee observed Mrs Pemberton but do try I beseech thee to hear me patiently
Mrs Mowbray then reseated herself and Mrs Pemberton informed her of Adelines premature confinement at Richmond of her distress on Glenmurrays death and of her having witnessed it
Ah you acted a mothers part—you did what I ought to have done cried Mrs Mowbray bursting into tears—but go on—I will be patient
Yet that was impossible for when she heard of Adelines insanity her emotions became so strong that Mrs Pemberton alarmed for her life was obliged to ring for assistance
When she recovered—Thou hast heard the worst now said Mrs Pemberton and all I have yet to say of thy child is satisfactory
She then related the contents of Adelines first letter informing her of her marriage—and Mrs Mowbray clasping her hands together blessed God that Adeline was become a wife The next letter Mrs Pemberton read informed her that she was the mother of a fine girl
A mother she exclaimed Oh how I should like to see her child—But at the same moment she recollected how bitterly she had reviled her when she saw her about to become a mother at their last meeting and torn with conflicting emotions she was again insensible to aught but her selfupbraidings
Well—but where is she now where is the child and when did you hear from her last cried she
I have not heard from her since hesitatingly replied Mrs Pemberton
But cant you write to her
Yes—but in her last letter she said she was going to change her lodgings and would write again when settled in a new habitation
Again Mrs Mowbray paced the room in wild and violent distress but her sorrows at length yielded to the gentle admonitions and soothings of Mrs Pemberton who bade her remember that when she rose in the morning she had not expected the happiness and consolation which she had met with that day and that a short time might bring forth still greater comfort
For said Mrs Pemberton I can write to the house where she formerly lodged and perhaps the person who keeps it can give us intelligence of her
On hearing this Mrs Mowbray became more composed and diverted her sorrow by a thousand fond inquiries concerning Adeline which none but a mother could make and none but a mother could listen to with patience
While this conversation was going on a knock at the door was heard and Miss Woodville entered the room in great emotion for she had heard on the road that a mad bullock had attacked a lady and also that Mrs Mowbray scarcely able to walk had been led into the white house in the field by the road side
Miss Woodville was certainly as much alarmed as she pretended to be but there was a somewhat in the expression of her alarm which though it gratified Mrs Mowbray was displeasing to the more penetrating Mrs Pemberton She could not indeed guess that Miss Woodvilles alarm sprung merely from apprehension lest Mrs Mowbray should die before she had provided for her in her will yet notwithstanding she felt that her expressions of concern and anxiety had no resemblance to those of real affection and in spite of her habitual candour she beheld Miss Woodville with distrust
But this feeling was considerably increased on observing that when Mrs Mowbray exultingly introduced her not only as the lady whose life she had been the means of preserving but as the friend and correspondent of her daughter she evidently changed colour and in spite of her habitual plausibility could not utter a single coherent sentence of pleasure or congratulation—and it was also evident that being conscious of Mrs Pembertons regarding her with a scrutinizing eye she was not easy till on pretence of Mrs Mowbrays requiring rest after her alarm she had prevailed on her to return home
But she could not prevent the new friends from parting with eager assurances of meeting again and again and it was agreed between them that Mrs Pemberton should spend the next day at the Lawn
Mrs Pemberton who is thus again introduced to the notice of my readers had been as well as Mrs Mowbray the pupil of adversity She had been born and educated in fashionable life and she united to a very lovely face and elegant form every feminine grace and accomplishment
When she was only eighteen Mr Pemberton a young and gay Quaker fell in love with her and having inspired her with a mutual passion he married her notwithstanding the difference of their religious opinions and the displeasure of his friends He was consequently disowned by the society but being weaned by the happiness which he found at home from those public amusements which had first lured him from the strict habits of his sect he was soon desirous of being again admitted a member of it and in process of time he was once more received into it while his amiable wife having no wish beyond her domestic circle and being disposed to think her husbands opinions right became in time a convert to the same profession of faith and exhibited in her manners the rare union of the easy elegance of a woman of the world with the rigid decorum and unadorned dress of a strict Quaker
But in the midst of her happiness and whilst looking forward to a long continuance of it a fever caught in visiting the sick bed of a cottager carried off her husband and next two lovely children and Mrs Pemberton would have sunk under the stroke but for the watchful care and affectionate attentions of the friend of her youth who resided near her and who in time prevailed on her to receive with becoming fortitude and resignation the trials which she was appointed to undergo
During this season of affliction as we have before stated she became a minister in the Quaker society but at the time of her meeting Adeline at Richmond she had been called from the duties of her public profession to watch over the declining health of her friend and consoler and to accompany her to Lisbon
There during four long years she bent over her sick couch now elated with hope and now sunk into despondence when at the beginning of the fifth year her friend died in her arms and she returned to England resolved to pass her days except when engaged in active duties on a little estate in Cumberland bequeathed to her by her friend on her deathbed But ill health and various events had detained her in the west of England since her return and she had not long taken possession of her house near Penrith when she became introduced in so singular a manner to Mrs Mowbrays acquaintance—an acquaintance which would she hoped prove of essential service to them both and as soon as her guest departed Mrs Pemberton resolved to inquire what character Mrs Mowbray bore in the neighbourhood and whether her virtues at all kept pace with her misfortunes
Her inquiries were answered in the most satisfactory manner as fortunately for Mrs Mowbray with the remembrance of her daughter had recurred to her that daughters benevolent example She remembered the satisfaction which used to beam from Adelines countenance when she returned from her visits to the sick and the afflicted and she resolved to try whether those habits of charitable exertion which could increase the happiness of the young and lighthearted Adeline might not have power to alleviate the sorrows of her own drooping age and broken joyless heart
Sweet are the uses of adversity—She who while the child of prosperity was a romantic indolent theorist an inactive speculator a proud contemner of the dictates of sober experience and a neglecter of that practical benevolence which can in days produce more benefit to others than theories and theorists can accomplish in years—this erring woman awakened from her dreams and reveries to habits of useful exertion by the stimulating touch of affliction was become the visitor of the sick the consoler of the sorrowful the parent of the fatherless while virtuous industry looked up to her with hope and her name like that of Adeline in happier days was pronounced with prayers and blessings
But alas she felt that blessing could reach her only in the shape of her lost child and though she was conscious of being useful to others though she had the satisfaction of knowing that she had but the day before been the means of preserving a valuable life she met Mrs Pemberton when she arrived at the Lawn with a countenance of fixed melancholy and was at first disposed to expect but little success from the project of writing to Adelines former lodgings in order to inquire
The truth was that Miss Woodville had artfully insinuated the improbability of such an inquirys succeeding and though Mrs Mowbray had angrily asserted her hopes when Miss Woodville provokingly asserted her fears the treacherous girls insinuations had sunk deeply into her mind and Mrs Pemberton saw with pain and wonder an effect produced of which the cause was wholly unseen But she at length succeeded in awakening Mrs Mowbrays hopes and in a letter written by Mrs Pemberton to the mistress of the house whence Adeline formerly dated she enclosed one to her daughter glowing with maternal tenderness and calculated to speak peace to her sorrows
These letters were sent as soon as written to the post by Mrs Mowbrays footman but Miss Woodville contrived to meet him near the postoffice and telling him she would put the letter in the receiver she gave him a commission to call at a shop in Penrith for her at which she had not time to call herself
Thus was another scheme for restoring Adeline to her afflicted mother frustrated by the treachery of this interested woman who while Mrs Pemberton and Mrs Mowbray looked anxiously forward to the receipt of an answer from London triumphed with malignant pleasure in the success of her artifice—But spite of herself she feared Mrs Pemberton and was not at all pleased to find that till the answer from London could arrive that lady was to remain at the Lawn
She contrived however to be as little in her presence as possible for contrary to Mrs Pembertons usual habits she felt a distrust of Miss Woodville which her intelligent eye could not help expressing and which consequently alarmed the conscious heart of the culprit Being left therefore by Miss Woodvilles fears alone with Mrs Mowbray she drew from her at different times ample details of Adelines childhood and the method which Mrs Mowbray had pursued in her education
Ah tis as I suspected interrupted Mrs Pemberton during one of these conversations Thy daughters faults originated in thee her education was cruelly defective
No replied Mrs Mowbray with almost angry eagerness whatever my errors as a mother have been and for the rash marriage which I made I own myself culpable in the highest degree I am sure that I paid the greatest attention to my daughters education If you were but to see the voluminous manuscript on the subject which I wrote for her improvement—
But where was thy daughter and how was she employed during the time that thou wert writing a book by which to educate her
Mrs Mowbray was silent she recollected that while she was gratifying her own vanity in composing her system of education Adeline was almost banished her presence and but for the humble instruction of her grandmother would at the age of fifteen have run a great risk of being both an ignorant and useless being
Forgive me friend Mowbray resumed Mrs Pemberton aware in some measure of what was passing in Mrs Mowbrays mind—forgive me if I venture to observe that till of late years a thick curtain of selflove seems to have been dropped between thy heart and maternal affection It is now and now only that thou hast learned to feel like a true and affectionate mother
Perhaps you are right replied Mrs Mowbray mournfully still I always meant well and hoped that my studies would conduce to the benefit of my child
So they might perhaps to that of thy second third or fourth child hadst thou been possessed of so many but in the meanwhile thy firstborn must have been fatally neglected A childs education begins almost from the hour of its birth and the mother who understands her task knows that the circumstances which every moment calls forth are the tools with which she is to work in order to fashion her childs mind and character What would you think of the farmer who was to let his fields lie fallow for years while he was employed in contriving a method of cultivating land to increase his gains tenfold
But I did not suffer Adelines mind to lie fallow—I allowed her to read and I directed her studies
Thou didst so but what were those studies and didst thou acquaint thyself with the deductions which her quick mind formed from them No—thou didst not as parents should do inquire into the impressions made on thy daughters mind by the books which she perused Prompt to feel and hasty to decide as Adeline was how necessary was to her the warning voice of judgment and experience
But how could I imagine that a girl so young should dare to act whatever her opinions might be in open defiance of the opinions of the world
But she had not lived in the world therefore scarcely knew how repugnant to it her opinions were nor as she did not mix in general society could she care sufficiently for its good opinion to be willing to act contrary to her own ideas of right rather than forfeit it besides thou ownest that thou didst openly profess thy admiration of the sentiments which she adopted nor till they were confirmed irrevocably hers didst thou declare that to act up to them was in thy opinion vicious And then it was too late she thought thy timidity and not thy wisdom spoke and she set thee the virtuous example of acting up to the dictates of conscience But Adeline and thou are both the pupils of affliction and experience and I trust that all your errors repented of you will meet once more to expiate your past follies by your future conduct
I hope so too meekly replied Mrs Mowbray whose pride had been completely subdued by selfupbraidings and distress Oh when—when will an answer arrive from London
CHAPTER XXVII
Alas day after day elapsed and no letter came but while Mrs Mowbray was almost frantic with disappointment and anxiety Mrs Pemberton thought that she observed in Miss Woodvilles countenance a look of triumphant malice which ill accorded with the fluent expressions of sympathy and regret with which she gratified her unsuspicious relation and she determined to watch her very narrowly for she thought it strange that Adeline however she might respect her mothers oath should never in the bitterness of her sorrows have unburthened her heart by imparting them to her one day when as usual the post had been anxiously expected and as usual had brought no letter from London concerning Adeline and while Miss Woodville was talking on indifferent subjects with ill suppressed gaiety though Mrs Mowbray sunk into despondence was lying on the sofa by her Mrs Pemberton suddenly exclaimed—There is only one right way of proceeding friend Mowbray—thou and I must go to London and make our inquiries in person and then we shall have a great chance of succeeding As she said this she looked steadfastly at Miss Woodville and saw her turn very pale while her eye was hastily averted from the penetrating glance of Mrs Pemberton and when she heard Mrs Mowbray in a transport of joy declare that they had better set off that very evening—unable to conceal her terror and agitation she hastily left the room
Mrs Pemberton instantly followed her into the apartment to which she had retired and the door of which she had closed with much violence She found her walking to and fro and wringing her hands as if in agony On seeing Mrs Pemberton she started and sinking into a chair she complained of being very ill and desired to be left alone
Thou art ill and thy illness is of the worst sort I fear replied Mrs Pemberton but I will stay and be thy physician
You my physician replied Miss Woodville with fury in her looks You
Yes—I—I see that thou art afraid lest Adeline should be restored to her paternal roof
Who told you so officious insolent woman returned Miss Woodville
Thy own looks—but all this is very natural in thee thou fearest that Adelines favour should annihilate thine
Perhaps I do cried Miss Woodville a little less alarmed and catching at this plausible excuse for her uneasiness for should I be forced to leave my cousins house I shall be reduced to comparative poverty and solitude again
But why shouldest thou be forced to leave it Art thou not Adelines friend
Ye—yes faltered out Miss Woodville
But it is uncertain whether we can find Adeline—still we shall be very diligent in our inquiries yet it is so strange that she should never have written to her mother if alive that perhaps—
Oh I dare say she is dead hastily interrupted Miss Woodville
Has she been dead long thinkest thou
No—not long—not above six months I dare say
No—Hast thou any reason then for knowing that she was alive six months ago asked Mrs Pemberton looking steadily at Miss Woodville as she spoke
I—Lord—no—How should I know she replied her lip quivering and her whole frame trembling
I tell thee how—Art thou not conscious of having intercepted letters from thy cousin to her relenting parent
Mrs Pemberton had scarcely uttered these words when Miss Woodville fell back nearly insensible in her chair—a proof that the accusation was only too well founded As soon as she recovered Mrs Pemberton said with great gentleness Thou art ill—ill indeed but as I suspected thy illness is of the mind there is a load of guilt on it throw it off then by a full confession and be the sinner that repenteth
In a few moments Miss Woodville conscious that her emotion had betrayed her and suspecting that Mrs Pemberton had by some means or other received hints of her treachery confessed that she had intercepted and destroyed letters from Adeline to her mother and also owned to the great joy of Mrs Pemberton that Adelines last letter the letter in which she informed Mrs Mowbray that all the conditions were then fulfilled without which alone she had sworn never to forgive her had arrived only two months before and that it was dated from such a street and such a number in London
My poor friend will be so happy said Mrs Pemberton and her own eyes filling with tears of joy she hastened to find Mrs Mowbray
But what will become of me exclaimed Miss Woodville detaining her—I am ruined—ruined for ever
Not so replied Mrs Pemberton thou art saved—saved I trust for ever—Thou hast confessed thy guilt and made all the atonement now in thy power Go to thine own room and I will soon make known to thee thy relations sentiments towards thee
So saying she hastened to Mrs Mowbray whom she found giving orders with eager impatience to have post horses sent for immediately
Then thou art full of expectation I conclude from the event of our journey to town said Mrs Pemberton smiling
To be sure I am replied Mrs Mowbray
And so am I she answered—for I think that I know the present abode of thy daughter
Mrs Mowbray started—her friends countenance expressed more joy and exultation than she had ever seen on it before and almost breathless with new hope she seized her hand and conjured her to explain herself
The explanation was soon given and Mrs Mowbrays joy in consequence of it unbounded
But what is thy will observed Mrs Pemberton with regard to thy guilty relation
I cannot—cannot see her again now if ever—and she must immediately leave my house
Immediately
Yes—but I will settle on her a handsome allowance for my conscience tells me that had I behaved like a mother to my child no one could have been tempted to injure her thus—I put this unhappy woman into a state of temptation and she yielded to it—but I feel only too sensibly that no one has been such an enemy to my poor Adeline as I have been nor conscious of my own offences towards her dare I resent those of another
I love I honour thee for what thou hast now uttered cried Mrs Pemberton with unusual animation—I see that thou art now indeed a Christian such are the breathings of a truly contrite spirit and verily she who can so easily forgive the crimes of others may hope to have her own forgiven
Mrs Pemberton then hastened to speak hope and comfort to the mind of the penitent offender while Mrs Mowbray ran to meet her servant who to her surprise was returning without horses for none were to be procured and Mrs Mowbray saw herself obliged to delay her journey till noon the next day when she was assured of having horses from Penrith But when after a long and restless night she arose in the morning anticipating with painful impatience the hour of her departure Mrs Pemberton entered her room and informed her that she had passed nearly all the night at Miss Woodvilles bedside who had been seized with a violent delirium at one oclock in the morning and in her ravings was continually calling on Mrs Mowbray and begging to see her once more
I will see her directly replied Mrs Mowbray without a moments hesitation and hastened to Miss Woodvilles apartment where she found the medical attendant whom Mrs Pemberton had sent for just arrived He immediately declared the disorder to be an inflammation on the brain and left them with little or no hope of her recovery
Mrs Mowbray affected beyond measure at the pathetic appeals for pardon addressed to her continually by the unconscious sufferer took her station at the bedside and hanging over her pillow watched for the slightest gleam of returning reason in order to speak the pardon so earnestly implored and while thus piously engaged the chaise that was to convey her and her friend to London and perhaps to Adeline drove up to the gate
Art thou ready said Mrs Pemberton entering the room equipped for her journey
At this moment the poor invalid reiterated her cries for pardon and begged Mrs Mowbray not to leave her without pronouncing her forgiveness
Mrs Mowbray burst into tears and though sure that she was not even conscious of her presence she felt herself almost unable to forsake her—still it was in search of her daughter that she was going—nay perhaps it was to her daughter that she was hastening and as this thought occurred to her she hurried to the door of the chamber saying she should be ready in a moment
But the eye of the phrensied sufferer followed her as she did so and in a tone of unspeakable agony she begged she entreated that she might not be left to die in solitude and sorrow however guilty she might have been—Then again she implored Mrs Mowbray to speak peace and pardon to her drooping soul while unable to withstand these solicitations though she knew them to be the unconscious ravings of the disorder she slowly and mournfully returned to the bedside
It is late said Mrs Pemberton—we ought ere now to be on the road
How can I go and leave this poor creature in such a state—But then should we find my poor injured child at the end of the journey Such an expectation as that—
Thou must decide quickly replied Mrs Pemberton gently
Decide Then I will go with you—Yet still should Anna recover her senses before her death and wish to see me I should never forgive myself for being absent—it might soothe the anguish of her last moments to know how freely I pardon her—No no—after all if pleasure awaits me it is only delaying it a few days and this this unhappy girl is on her deathbed—You you must go without me
As she said this Mrs Pemberton pressed her hand with affectionate eagerness and murmured out in broken accents I honour thy decision and may I return with comfort to thee
Yet though I wish you to go cried Mrs Mowbray I grieve to expose you to such fatigue and trouble in your weak state of health and—
Say no more interrupted Mrs Pemberton I am only doing my duty and reflect on my happiness if I am allowed to restore the lost sheep to the fold again—So saying she set off on her journey and arrived in London only four days after Adeline had arrived in Cumberland
Mrs Pemberton drove immediately to Adelines lodgings but received the same answer as Colonel Mordaunt had received namely that she was gone no one knew whither Still she did not despair of finding her she like the Colonel thought that a mulatto a lady just recovered from the smallpox and a child were likely to be easily traced and having written to Mrs Mowbray owning her disappointment but bidding her not despair she set off on her journey back and had succeeded in tracing Adeline as far as an inn on the high North road—when an event took place which made her further inquiries needless
CHAPTER XXVIII
Adeline after several repeated trials succeeded in writing the following letter to her mother—
Dearest of Mothers
When this letter reaches you I shall be no more and however I may hitherto have offended you I shall then be able to offend you no longer and that child whom you bound yourself by oath never to see or forgive but on the most cruel of conditions while living dead you may perhaps deign to receive to your pardon and your love—Nay my heart tells me that you will do more—that you will transfer the love which you once felt for me to my poor helpless orphan and in full confidence that you will be this indulgent I bequeath her to you with my dying breath—O look on her my mother nor shrink from her with disgust although you see in her my features but rather rejoice in the resemblance and fancy that I am restored to you pure happy and beloved as I once was—Yes yes—it will be so I have known a great deal of sorrow—let me then indulge the little ray of pleasure that breaks in upon me when I think that you will not resist my dying prayer but bestow on my child the long arrears of tenderness due to me
Yes yes you will receive you will be kind to her and by so doing you will make me ample amends for all the sorrow which your harshness caused me when we met last—That was a dreadful day How you frowned on me I did not think you could have frowned so dreadfully—but then I was uninjured by affliction unaltered by illness Were you to see me now you would not have the heart to frown on me and yet my letters being repeatedly returned and even the last unnoticed and unanswered though it told you that even on your own conditions I could now claim your pardon for that I had been wretched in love and had experienced the anguish of being forsaken despised and disgraced in the eye of the world proves but too surely that the bitterness of resentment is not yet passed—But on my deathbed you promised to see and forgive me—and I am there my mother Yet will I not claim that promise—I will not weaken by directing it towards myself the burst of sorrow of too late regret of selfupbraidings and longrestrained affection which must be directed towards my child when I am not alive to profit by it No—though I would give worlds to embrace you once more for the sake of my child I resign the gratification
Oh mother you little think that I saw you only a few days ago from the stile by the cottage which overlooks your house you were walking with a lady and my child was with me my Editha for I have called her after you You seemed methought even cheerful and I was so selfish that I felt shocked to think I was so entirely forgotten by you for I was sure that if you thought of me you could not be cheerful But your companion left you and then you looked so very sad that I was wretched from the idea that you were then thinking too much of me and I wished you to resume your cheerfulness again
I was not cheerful and Editha by her artless prattle wounded me to the very soul—She wished she said to live in that sweet house and asked why she should not live there I could have told her why but dared not do it but I assured her and do not for mercys sake prove that assurance false that she should live there one day
But when—when she asked
When I am in my grave replied I and poor innocent throwing herself into my arms with playful fondness she begged me to go to my grave directly I feel but too sensibly that her desire will soon be accomplished
But must I die unblest by you True I am watched by the kindest of human beings but then she is not my mother—that mother who with the joys of my childhood and my home is so continually recurring to my memory Oh I forget all your unkindness my mother and remember only your affection How I should like to feel your hand supporting my head and see you perform the little offices which sickness requires—And must I never never see you more Yes you will come I am sure you will but come come quickly or I shall die without your blessing
I have had a fainting fit—but I am recovered and can address you again—Oh teach my Editha to be humble teach her to be slow to call the experience of ages contemptible prejudices teach her no opinions that can destroy her sympathies with general society and make her an alien to the hearts of those amongst whom she lives
Be above all things careful that she wanders not in the night of scepticism But for the support of religion what amidst my various sorrows what would have become of me
There is something more that I would say Should my existence be prolonged even but a few days I shall have to struggle with poverty as well as sickness and the anxious friend I will not call her servant who is now my all of earthly comfort will scarcely have money sufficient to pay me the last sad duties and I owe her my mother a world of obligation She will make my last moments easy and you must reward her From her you will receive this letter when I am no more and to your care and protection I bequeath her She is—my eyes grow dim and I must leave off for the present
On the very evening in which Adeline had written this address to her mother Mrs Mowbray had received Mrs Pembertons letter and as Miss Woodville had been interred that morning she felt herself at liberty to join Mrs Pemberton in her search after Adeline While various plans for this purpose presented themselves to her mind and each of them was dismissed in its turn as fruitless or impracticable—full of these thoughts she pensively walked along the lawn before her door till sad and weary she leaned on a little gate at the bottom of it which as she did so swung slowly backwards and forwards responsive as it were to her feelings
But as she continued to muse and to recall the varied sorrows of her past life the gate on which she leaned began to vibrate more quickly till unable to bear the recollections which assailed her she was hastening with almost frantic speed towards the house when she saw a cottager approaching to whose sick daughter and helpless family she had long been a bountiful benefactress
What is the matter John cried Mrs Mowbray hastening forward to meet him—you seem agitated
My poor daughter madam replied the man bursting into tears
At the sight of his distress his parental distress Mrs Mowbray sighed deeply and asked if Lucy was worse
I doubt she is dying said the afflicted father
Heaven forbid exclaimed Mrs Mowbray throwing her shawl over her shoulders I will go and see her myself
What really—But the way is so long and the road is so miry
No matter—I must do my duty
God bless you and reward you cried the grateful father—that is so like you Lucy said you would come
Mrs Mowbray then filled a basket with medicine and refreshments and set out on her charitable visit
She found the poor girl in a very weak and alarming state but the sight of her benefactress and the tender manner in which she supported her languid head and administered wine and other cordials to her insensibly revived her and while writhing under the feelings of an unhappy parent herself Mrs Mowbray was soothed by the blessings of the parent whom she comforted
At this moment they were alarmed by a shriek from a neighbouring cottage and a woman who was attending on the sick girl ran out to inquire into the cause of it
She returned saying that a poor sick young gentlewoman who lodged at the next house was fallen back in a fit and they thought she was dead
A young gentlewoman exclaimed Mrs Mowbray at the next cottage rising up
Aye sure cried the woman she looks like a lady for certain and she has the finest child I ever saw
Perhaps she is not dead said Mrs Mowbray—let us go see
CHAPTER XXIX
Little did Mrs Mowbray think that it was her own child whom she was hastening to relieve and that while meditating a kind action recompense was so near
Adeline while trying to finish her letter to her mother had scarcely traced a few illegible lines when she fell back insensible on her pillow and at the moment of Mrs Mowbrays entering the cottage Savanna who had uttered the shriek which had excited her curiosity had convinced herself that she was gone for ever
The woman who accompanied Mrs Mowbray entered the house first and opening a back chamber lowroofed narrow and lighted only by one solitary and slender candle Mrs Mowbray beheld through the door the lifeless form of the object of her solicitude which Savanna was contemplating with loud and frantic sorrow
Here is a lady come to see what she can do for your mistress cried the woman while Savanna turned hastily round—Here she is—here is good Madam Mowbray
Madam Mowbray shrieked Savanna fixing her dark eyes on Mrs Mowbray and raising her arm in a threatening manner as she approached her then snatching up the letter which lay on the bed—Woman she exclaimed grasping Mrs Mowbrays arm with frightful earnestness read that—tis for you
Mrs Mowbray speechless with alarm and awe involuntarily seized the letter—but scarcely had she read the first words when uttering a deep groan she sprung forward to clasp the unconscious form before her and fell beside it equally insensible
But she recovered almost immediately to a sense of her misery and while in speechless agony she knelt by the bedside Savanna beholding her distress with a sort of dreadful pleasure exclaimed Ah have you at last learn to feel
But is she is she indeed gone cried Mrs Mowbray is there no hope and instantly seizing the cordial which she had brought with her assisted by the woman she endeavoured to force it down the throat of Adeline
Their endeavours were for some time vain at length however she exhibited signs of life and in a few minutes more she opened her sunk eye and gazed unconsciously around her
My God I thank you exclaimed Mrs Mowbray falling on her knees while Savanna laying her mistresss head on her bosom sobbed with fearful joy
Adeline my child my dear dear child cried Mrs Mowbray seizing her clammy hand
That voice those words which she had so long wished to hear though hopeless of ever hearing them again seemed to recall the fast fading recollection of Adeline she raised her head from Savannas bosom and looking earnestly at Mrs Mowbray faintly smiled and endeavoured to throw herself into her arms—but fell back again exhausted on the pillow
But in a few minutes she recovered so far as to be able to speak and while she hung round her mothers neck and gazed upon her with eager and delighted earnestness she desired Savanna to bring Editha to her immediately
Will you will you— said Adeline vainly trying to speak her wishes as Savanna put the sleeping girl in Mrs Mowbrays arms but she easily divined them and clasping her to her heart wept over her convulsively—She shall be dear to me as my own soul said Mrs Mowbray
Then I die contented replied Adeline
Die exclaimed Mrs Mowbray hastily no you must not shall not die you must live to see me atone for—
It is in vain said Adeline faintly I bless God that he allows me to enjoy this consolation—say that you forgive me
Forgive you Oh Adeline for years have I forgiven and pined after you but a wicked woman intercepted all your letters and I thought you were dead or had renounced me for ever
Indeed cried Adeline Oh had I suspected that
Nay more Mrs Pemberton is now in London in search of you in order to bring you back to happiness As Mrs Mowbray said this Savanna drawing near took her hand and gently pressed it
Adeline observed the action and seeing by it that Savannas heart relented towards her mother said I owe that faithful creature more than I can express but to your care I bequeath her
I will love her as my child said Mrs Mowbray and behave to her better than I did to—
Hush cried Adeline putting her hand to Mrs Mowbrays lips
But you shall live I will send for Dr Norberry you shall be moved to my house and all will be well—all our past grief be forgotten returned Mrs Mowbray with almost convulsive eagerness
Adeline faintly smiled but repeated that every hope of that kind was over but that her utmost wish has gratified in seeing her mother and receiving her full forgiveness
But you must live for my sake cried Mrs Mowbray and for mine sobbed out Savanna
Could you not be moved to my house said Mrs Mowbray There every indulgence and attention that money can procure shall be yours Is this a place—is this poverty—this— Here her voice failed her and she burst into tears
Mother dearest mother replied Adeline I see you I am assured of your love again and I have not a want beside Still I could like I could wish to be once more under a parents roof
In a moment the cottager who was present and returning with usury to Mrs Mowbrays daughter the anxious interest which she had taken in his proposed various means of transporting Adeline to the Lawn a difficult and a hazardous undertaking but the poor invalid was willing to risk the danger and the fatigue and her mother could not but indulge her At length the cottager as it was for the general benefactress having with care procured even more assistance than was necessary Adeline was conveyed on a sort of a litter along the valley and found herself once more in the house of her mother while Savanna sharing in the joy which Adelines countenance expressed threw herself on Mrs Mowbrays neck and exclaimed Now I forgive you
Mother dear mother cried Adeline after having for some minutes vainly endeavoured to speak—I am so happy no more an outcast but under my mothers roof—Nay I even think I can live now added she with a faint smile
Had Adeline risen from her bed in complete health and vigour she would scarcely have excited more joy in her mother and in Savanna than she did by this expression
Can live cried Mrs Mowbray O you shall you must live And an express was sent off immediately to Dr Norberry too who was removed to Kendal to be near his elder daughter lately married in the neighbourhood
Dr Norberry arrived in a few hours Mrs Mowbray ran out to meet him but a welcome died on her tongue and she could only speak by her tears
There there my good woman dont be foolish replied he it is very silly to blubber you know besides it can do no good giving her a kiss while the tears trickled down his rough cheek So the lost sheep is found
But O she will be lost again faltered Mrs Mowbray I doubt nothing can save her
No cried the old man with a gulp no not my coming so many miles on purpose—Well but where is she
She will see you presently but begged to be excused for a few minutes You see said he by my dress what has happened gulping as he spoke I have lost the companion of thirty years—and—and— here he paused and after an effort went on to say that his wife in her last illness had owned that she had suppressed Adelines letters and had declared the reason of it—But poor soul continued the doctor it was the only sin against me I believe or any one else that she ever committed—so I forgave her and I trust that God will
Soon after they were summoned to the sick room and Dr Norberry beheld with a degree of fearful emotion which he vainly endeavoured to hide under a cloak of pleasantry the dreadful ravages which sorrow and sickness had made in the face and form of Adeline
So here you are at last cried he trying to smile while he sobbed audibly and a pretty figure you make dont you—But we have you again and we will not part with you so soon I can tell you almost starting as the faint but rapid pulse met his fingers—that is I mean added he unless it please God Mrs Mowbray and Savanna during this speech gazed on his countenance in breathless anxiety and read in it a confirmation of their fears But whos afraid cried the doctor forcing a laugh while his tone and his looks expressed the extreme of apprehension and his laugh ended in a sob
Mrs Mowbray turned away in a sort of desperate silence but the mulatto still kept her penetrating eye fixed upon him and with a look so full of woe
Ill trouble you mistress to take those formidable eyes of yours off my face cried the doctor pettishly for I cant stand their inquiry—But who the devil are you
She is my nurse my consoler and my friend said Adeline
Then she is mine of course cried the doctor though she has a terrible stare with her eyes—but give me your hand mistress What is your name
Me be name Savanna replied the mulatto and me die and live wid my dear mistress she added bursting into tears
Pshaw cried the doctor I cant bear this—here I came as a physician and these blubberers melt me down into an old woman Adeline I must order all these people out of the room and have you to myself or I can do nothing
He was obeyed and on inquiring into all Adelines symptoms he found little to hope and every thing to fear—But your mind is relieved and you have youth on your side and who knows what good air good food and good nurses may do for you
Not to mention a good physician added Adeline smiling and a good friend in that physician
This it be to have money said Savanna as she saw the various things prepared and made to tempt Adelines weak appetite—poor Savanna mean as well—her heart make all these but her hand want power
During this state of alarming suspense Mrs Pemberton was hourly expected as she had written word that she had traced Adeline into Lancashire and suspected that she was in her mothers neighbourhood—It may be supposed that Mrs Mowbray Adeline and Savanna looked forward to her arrival with eager impatience but not so Dr Norberry—he said that no doubt she was a very good sort of woman but that he did not like pretensions to righteousness over much and had a particular aversion to a piece of formal drabcoloured morality
Adeline only laughed at these prejudices without attempting to confute them for she knew that Mrs Pembertons appearance and manners would soon annihilate them At length she reached the Lawn and Savanna who saw her alight announced her arrival to her mistress and was commissioned by her to introduce her immediately into the sick chamber—She did so but Mrs Pemberton almost overpowered with joy at the intelligence which awaited her and ill fortified by Savannas violent and mixed emotions against the indulgence of her own begged to compose herself a few moments before she met Adeline but Savanna was not to be denied and seizing her hand she led her up to the bedside of the invalid—Adeline smiled affectionately when she saw her but Mrs Pemberton started back and scarcely staying to take the hand which she offered her rushed out of the room to vent in solitude the burst of uncontrollable anguish which the sight of her altered countenance occasioned her—Alas her eye had been but too well tutored to read the characters of death in the face and it was some time before she recovered herself sufficiently to appear before the anxious watchers by the bed of Adeline with that composure which on principle she always endeavoured to display—At length however she reentered the room and approaching the poor invalid kissed in silence her wan flushed cheek
I am very different now my kind friend to what I was when you first saw me said Adeline faintly smiling
To the moment when they last met Adeline had not resolution enough to revert for then she was mourning by the dead body of Glenmurray
Mrs Pemberton was silent for a moment but making an effort she replied Thou art now more like what thou wert in mind when I first met thee at Rosevalley than when I first saw thee at Richmond At Rosevalley I beheld thee innocent at Richmond guilty and here I see thee penitent and I hope resigned to thy fate—She spoke the word resigned with emphasis and Adeline understood her
I am indeed resigned replied Adeline in a low voice nay I feel that I am much favoured in being spared so long But there is one thing that weighs heavily on my mind Mary Warner is leading a life of shame and she told me when I last saw her that she was corrupted by my precept and example if so—
Set thy conscience at rest on that subject interrupted Mrs Pemberton while she lived with me I discovered long before she ever saw thee that she had been known to have been faulty
Oh what a load have you removed from my mind replied Adeline Still it would be more relieved if you would promise to find her out and she may be heard of at Mr Langleys chambers in the Temple Offer her a yearly allowance for life provided she will quit her present vicious habits I am sure my mother will gladly fulfil my wishes in this respect
And so will I replied Mrs Pemberton Is there any thing else that I can do for thee
Yes I have two pensioners at Richmond—a poor young woman and her orphan boy—an illegitimate child she added deeply sighing as she recollected what had interested her in their fate I bequeath them to your care Savanna knows where they are to be found And now all that disturbs my thoughts at this awful moment is the grief which my poor mother and Savanna will feel—nay they will be quite unprepared for it for they persist to hope still and I believe that even Dr Norberry allows his wishes to deceive his judgment
They will suffer indeed cried Mrs Pemberton but I give thee my word that I will never leave thy mother and that Savanna shall be our joint care
It is enough—I shall now die in peace said Adeline and Mrs Pemberton turned away to meet Mrs Mowbray who with Dr Norberry at that moment entered the room Mrs Mowbray met her and welcomed her audibly and joyfully but Mrs Pemberton aware of the blow which impended over her vainly endeavoured to utter a congratulation but throwing herself into Mrs Mowbrays extended arms she forgot her usual selfcommand and sobbed loudly on her bosom
Dr Norberry gazed at the benevolent Quaker with astonishment True she was drabcoloured but where was the repulsive formality that he had expected This woman can feel like other women and is as good a hand at a cryingbout as myself But Mrs Pemberton did not long give way to so violent an indulgence of her feelings and gently withdrawing herself from Mrs Mowbrays embrace she turned to the window while Mrs Mowbray hastened to the bedside of Adeline Mrs Pemberton then turned round again and seizing Dr Norberrys hand which she fervently pressed said in a faltering voice Would thou couldst save her
And—and cant I cant I replied he gulping Mrs Pemberton looked at him with an expression which he could neither mistake nor endure but muttering in a low tone No dear sweet soul I doubt I cant I doubt I cant by the Lord he rushed out of the room
From that moment he never was easy but when he could converse with Mrs Pemberton for he knew that she and she only sympathized in his feelings as she only knew that Adeline was not likely to recover The invalid herself observed his attention to her friend nor could she forbear to rally him on the total disappearance of his prejudices against the fair Quaker for such was the influence of Mrs Pembertons dignified yet winning manners and such was the respect with which she inspired him that if he had his hat on he always took it off when she entered the room and never uttered any thing like an oath without humbly begging her pardon and he told Adeline that were all Quakers like Mrs Pemberton he should be tempted to cry Drab is your only wear
Another and another day elapsed and Adeline still lived—On the evening of the third day as she lay halfslumbering with her head on Savannas arm and Mrs Mowbray lulling Editha to sleep on her lap was watching beside her glancing her eye alternately with satisfied and silent affection from the child to the mother whom she thought in a fair way of recovery while Dr Norberry stifling an occasional sob was contemplating the group and Mrs Pemberton her hands clasped in each other seemed lost in devout contemplation Adeline awoke and as she gazed on Editha who was fondly held to Mrs Mowbrays bosom a smile illumined her sunk countenance Mrs Mowbray at that moment eagerly and anxiously pressed forward to catch her weak accents and inquire how she felt I have seen that fond and anxious look before she faintly articulated but in happier times and it assures me that you love me still
Love you still replied Mrs Mowbray with passionate fondness—never never were you so dear to me as now
Adeline tried to express the joy which flushed her cheek at these words and lighted up her closing eyes but she tried in vain At length she grasped Mrs Mowbrays hand to her lips and in imperfect accents exclaiming I thank thee blessed Lord she laid her head on Savannas bosom and expired
END OF ADELINE MOWBRAY