BELINDA
By Maria Edgeworth
1857
CHAPTER I — CHARACTERS
Mrs Stanhope a wellbred woman accomplished in that branch of knowledge which is called the art of rising in the world had with but a small fortune contrived to live in the highest company She prided herself upon having established half a dozen nieces most happily that is to say upon having married them to men of fortunes far superior to their own One niece still remained unmarried—Belinda Portman of whom she was determined to get rid with all convenient expedition Belinda was handsome graceful sprightly and highly accomplished her aunt had endeavoured to teach her that a young ladys chief business is to please in society that all her charms and accomplishments should be invariably subservient to one grand object—the establishing herself in the world
For this hands lips and eyes were put to school
And each instructed feature had its rule
Mrs Stanhope did not find Belinda such a docile pupil as her other nieces for she had been educated chiefly in the country she had early been inspired with a taste for domestic pleasures she was fond of reading and disposed to conduct herself with prudence and integrity Her character however was yet to be developed by circumstances
Mrs Stanhope lived at Bath where she had opportunities of showing her niece off as she thought to advantage but as her health began to decline she could not go out with her as much as she wished After manoeuvring with more than her usual art she succeeded in fastening Belinda upon the fashionable Lady Delacour for the season Her ladyship was so much pleased by Miss Portmans accomplishments and vivacity as to invite her to spend the winter with her in London Soon after her arrival in town Belinda received the following letter from her aunt Stanhope
Crescent Bath
After searching every place I could think of Anne found your bracelet in your dressingtable amongst a heap of odd things which you left behind you to be thrown away I have sent it to you by a young gentleman who came to Bath unluckily the very day you left me—Mr Clarence Hervey—an acquaintance and great admirer of my Lady Delacour He is really an uncommonly pleasant young man is highly connected and has a fine independent fortune Besides he is a man of wit and gallantry quite a connoisseur in female grace and beauty—just the man to bring a new face into fashion so my dear Belinda I make it a point—look well when he is introduced to you and remember what I have so often told you that nobody can look well without taking some pains to please
I see—or at least when I went out more than my health will at present permit—I used to see multitudes of silly girls seemingly all cut out upon the same pattern who frequented public places day after day and year after year without any idea farther than that of diverting themselves or of obtaining transient admiration How I have pitied and despised the giddy creatures whilst I have observed them playing off their unmeaning airs vying with one another in the most obvious and consequently the most ridiculous manner so as to expose themselves before the very men they would attract chattering tittering and flirting full of the present moment never reflecting upon the future quite satisfied if they got a partner at a hall without ever thinking of a partner for life I have often asked myself what is to become of such girls when they grow old or ugly or when the public eye grows tired of them If they have large fortunes it is all very well they can afford to divert themselves for a season or two without doubt they are sure to be sought after and followed not by mere danglers but by men of suitable views and pretensions but nothing to my mind can be more miserable than the situation of a poor girl who after spending not only the interest but the solid capital of her small fortune in dress and frivolous extravagance fails in her matrimonial expectations as many do merely from not beginning to speculate in time She finds herself at five or sixandthirty a burden to her friends destitute of the means of rendering herself independent for the girls I speak of never think of learning to play cards de trop in society yet obliged to hang upon all her acquaintance who wish her in heaven because she is unqualified to make the expected return for civilities having no home I mean no establishment no house c fit for the reception of company of a certain rank—My dearest Belinda may this never be your case—You have every possible advantage my love no pains have been spared in your education and which is the essential point I have taken care that this should be known—so that you have the name of being perfectly accomplished You will also have the name of being very fashionable if you go much into public as doubtless you will with Lady Delacour—Your own good sense must make you aware my dear that from her ladyships situation and knowledge of the world it will always be proper upon all subjects of conversation for her to lead and you to follow it would be very unfit for a young girl like you to suffer yourself to stand in competition with Lady Delacour whose high pretensions to wit and beauty are indisputable I need say no more to you upon this subject my dear Even with your limited experience you must have observed how foolish young people offend those who are the most necessary to their interests by an imprudent indulgence of their vanity
Lady Delacour has an incomparable taste in dress consult her my dear and do not by an illjudged economy counteract my views—apropos I have no objection to your being presented at court You will of course have credit with all her ladyships tradespeople if you manage properly To know how and when to lay out money is highly commendable for in some situations people judge of what one can afford by what one actually spends—I know of no law which compels a young lady to tell what her age or her fortune may be You have no occasion for caution yet on one of these points
I have covered my old carpet with a handsome green baize and every stranger who comes to see me I observe takes it for granted that I have a rich carpet under it Say every thing that is proper in your best manner for me to Lady Delacour
Adieu my dear Belinda
Yours very sincerely
SELINA STANHOPE
It is sometimes fortunate that the means which are taken to produce certain effects upon the mind have a tendency directly opposite to what is expected Mrs Stanhopes perpetual anxiety about her nieces appearance manners and establishment had completely worn out Belindas patience she had become more insensible to the praises of her personal charms and accomplishments than young women of her age usually are because she had been so much flattered and shown off as it is called by her matchmaking aunt—Yet Belinda was fond of amusement and had imbibed some of Mrs Stanhopes prejudices in favour of rank and fashion Her taste for literature declined in proportion to her intercourse with the fashionable world as she did not in this society perceive the least use in the knowledge that she had acquired Her mind had never been roused to much reflection she had in general acted but as a puppet in the hands of others To her aunt Stanhope she had hitherto paid unlimited habitual blind obedience but she was more undesigning and more free from affectation and coquetry than could have been expected after the course of documenting which she had gone through She was charmed with the idea of a visit to Lady Delacour whom she thought the most agreeable—no that is too feeble an expression—the most fascinating person she had ever beheld Such was the light in which her ladyship appeared not only to Belinda but to all the world—that is to say all the world of fashion and she knew of no other—The newspapers were full of Lady Delacours parties and Lady Delacours dresses and Lady Delacours bon mots every thing that her ladyship said was repeated as witty every thing that her ladyship wore was imitated as fashionable Female wit sometimes depends on the beauty of its possessor for its reputation and the reign of beauty is proverbially short and fashion often capriciously deserts her favourites even before nature withers their charms Lady Delacour seemed to be a fortunate exception to these general rules long after she had lost the bloom of youth she continued to be admired as a fashionable bel esprit and long after she had ceased to be a novelty in society her company was courted by all the gay the witty and the gallant To be seen in public with Lady Delacour to be a visitor at her house were privileges of which numbers were vehemently ambitious and Belinda Portman was congratulated and envied by all her acquaintance for being admitted as an inmate How could she avoid thinking herself singularly fortunate
A short time after her arrival at Lady Delacours Belinda began to see through the thin veil with which politeness covers domestic misery—Abroad and at home Lady Delacour was two different persons Abroad she appeared all life spirit and good humour—at home listless fretful and melancholy she seemed like a spoiled actress off the stage overstimulated by applause and exhausted by the exertions of supporting a fictitious character—When her house was filled with welldressed crowds when it blazed with lights and resounded with music and dancing Lady Delacour in the character of Mistress of the Revels shone the soul and spirit of pleasure and frolic but the moment the company retired when the music ceased and the lights were extinguishing the spell was dissolved
She would sometimes walk up and down the empty magnificent saloon absorbed in thoughts seemingly of the most painful nature
For some days after Belindas arrival in town she heard nothing of Lord Delacour his lady never mentioned his name except once accidentally as she was showing Miss Portman the house she said Dont open that door—those are only Lord Delacours apartments—The first time Belinda ever saw his lordship he was dead drunk in the arms of two footmen who were carrying him up stairs to his bedchamber his lady who was just returned from Ranelagh passed by him on the landingplace with a look of sovereign contempt
What is the matter—Who is this said Belinda
Only the body of my Lord Delacour said her ladyship his bearers have brought it up the wrong staircase Take it down again my good friends let his lordship go his own way Dont look so shocked and amazed Belinda—dont look so new child this funeral of my lords intellects is to me a nightly or added her ladyship looking at her watch and yawning I believe I should say a daily ceremony—six oclock I protest
The next morning as her ladyship and Miss Portman were sitting at the breakfasttable after a very late breakfast Lord Delacour entered the room
Lord Delacour sober my dear—said her ladyship to Miss Portman by way of introducing him Prejudiced by her ladyship Belinda was inclined to think that Lord Delacour sober would not be more agreeable or more rational than Lord Delacour drunk How old do you take my lord to be whispered her ladyship as she saw Belindas eye fixed upon the trembling hand which carried his teacup to his lips Ill lay you a wager continued she aloud—Ill lay your birthnight dress gold fringe and laurel wreaths into the bargain that you dont guess right
I hope you dont think of going to this birthnight lady Delacour said his lordship
Ill give you six guesses and Ill bet you dont come within sixteen years pursued her ladyship still looking at Belinda
You cannot have the new carriage you have bespoken said his lordship Will you do me the honour to attend to me Lady Delacour
Then you wont venture to guess Belinda said her ladyship without honouring her lord with the smallest portion of her attention—Well I believe you are right—for certainly you would guess him to be sixandsixty instead of sixandthirty but then he can drink more than any twolegged animal in his majestys dominions and you know that is an advantage which is well worth twenty or thirty years of a mans life—especially to persons who have no other chance of distinguishing themselves
If some people had distinguished themselves a little less in the world retorted his lordship it would have been as well
As well—how flat
Flatly then I have to inform you Lady Delacour that I will neither be contradicted nor laughed at—you understand me—it would be as well flat or not flat my Lady Delacour if your ladyship would attend more to your own conduct and less to others
To that of others—his lordship means if he means any thing Apropos Belinda did not you tell me Clarence Hervey is coming to town—You have never seen him—Well Ill describe him to you by negatives He is not a man who ever says any thing flat—he is not a man who must be wound up with half a dozen bottles of champaign before he can go—he is not a man who when he does go goes wrong and wont be set right—he is not a man whose whole consequence if he were married would depend on his wife—he is not a man who if he were married would be so desperately afraid of being governed by his wife that he would turn gambler jockey or sot merely to show that he could govern himself
Go on Lady Delacour said his lordship who had been in vain attempting to balance a spoon on the edge of his teacup during the whole of this speech which was delivered with the most animated desire to provoke—Go on Lady Delacour—all I desire is that you should go on Clarence Hervey will be much obliged to you and I am sure so shall I Go on my Lady Delacour—go on and youll oblige me
I never will oblige you my lord that you may depend upon cried her ladyship with a look of indignant contempt
His lordship whistled rang for his horses and looked at his nails with a smile Belinda shocked and in a great confusion rose to leave the room dreading the gross continuance of this matrimonial dialogue
Mr Hervey my lady said a footman opening the door and he was scarcely announced when her ladyship went forward to receive him with an air of easy familiarity—Where have you buried yourself Hervey this age past cried she shaking hands with him theres absolutely no living in this most stupid of all worlds without you—Mr Hervey—Miss Portman—but dont look as if you were half asleep man—What are you dreaming of Clarence Why looks your grace so heavily today
Oh I have passed a miserable night replied Clarence throwing himself into an actors attitude and speaking in a fine tone of stage declamation
What was your dream my lord I pray you tell me
said her ladyship in a similar tone—Clarence went on—
O Lord methought what pain it was to dance
What dreadful noise of fiddles in my ears
What sights of ugly belles within my eyes
——Then came wandering by
A shadow like a devil with red hair
Dizend with flowers and she bawld out aloud
Clarence is come false fleeting perjured Clarence
O Mrs Luttridge to the life cried Lady Delacour I know where you have been now and I pity you—but sit down said she making room for him between Belinda and herself upon the sofa sit down here and tell me what could take you to that odious Mrs Luttridges
Mr Hervey threw himself on the sofa Lord Delacour whistled as before and left the room without uttering a syllable
But my dream has made me forget myself strangely said Mr Hervey turning to Belinda and producing her bracelet Mrs Stanhope promised me that if I delivered it safely I should be rewarded with the honour of putting it on the owners fair arm A conversation now took place on the nature of ladies promises—on fashionable bracelets—on the size of the arm of the Venus de Medici—on Lady Delacours and Miss Portmans—on the thick legs of ancient statues—and on the various defects and absurdities of Mrs Luttridge and her wig On all these topics Mr Hervey displayed much wit gallantry and satire with so happy an effect that Belinda when he took leave was precisely of her aunts opinion that he was a most uncommonly pleasant young man
Clarence Hervey might have been more than a pleasant young man if he had not been smitten with the desire of being thought superior in every thing and of being the most admired person in all companies He had been early flattered with the idea that he was a man of genius and he imagined that as such he was entitled to be imprudent wild and eccentric He affected singularity in order to establish his claims to genius He had considerable literary talents by which he was distinguished at Oxford but he was so dreadfully afraid of passing for a pedant that when he came into the company of the idle and the ignorant he pretended to disdain every species of knowledge His chameleon character seemed to vary in different lights and according to the different situations in which he happened to be placed He could be all things to all men—and to all women He was supposed to be a favourite with the fair sex and of all his various excellencies and defects there was none on which he valued himself so much as on his gallantry He was not profligate he had a strong sense of honour and quick feelings of humanity but he was so easily led or rather so easily excited by his companions and his companions were now of such a sort that it was probable he would soon become vicious As to his connexion with Lady Delacour he would have started with horror at the idea of disturbing the peace of a family but in her family he said there was no peace to disturb he was vain of having it seen by the world that he was distinguished by a lady of her wit and fashion and he did not think it incumbent on him to be more scrupulous or more attentive to appearances than her ladyship By Lord Delacours jealousy he was sometimes provoked sometimes amused and sometimes flattered He was constantly of all her ladyships parties in public and private consequently he saw Belinda almost every day and every day he saw her with increasing admiration of her beauty and with increasing dread of being taken in to marry a niece of the catchmatchmaker the name by which Mrs Stanhope was known amongst the men of his acquaintance Young ladies who have the misfortune to be conducted by these artful dames are always supposed to be partners in all the speculations though their names may not appear in the firm If he had not been prejudiced by the character of her aunt Mr Hervey would have thought Belinda an undesigning unaffected girl but now he suspected her of artifice in every word look and motion and even when he felt himself most charmed by her powers of pleasing he was most inclined to despise her for what he thought such premature proficiency in scientific coquetry He had not sufficient resolution to keep beyond the sphere of her attraction but frequently when he found himself within it he cursed his folly and drew back with sudden terror His manner towards her was so variable and inconsistent that she knew not how to interpret its language Sometimes she fancied that with all the eloquence of eyes he said I adore you Belinda at other times she imagined that his guarded silence meant to warn her that he was so entangled by Lady Delacour that he could not extricate himself from her snares Whenever this last idea struck her it excited in the most edifying manner her indignation against coquetry in general and against her ladyships in particular she became wonderfully clearsighted to all the improprieties of her ladyships conduct Belindas newly acquired moral sense was so much shocked that she actually wrote a full statement of her observations and her scruples to her aunt Stanhope concluding by a request that she might not remain under the protection of a lady of whose character she could not approve and whose intimacy might perhaps be injurious to her reputation if not to her principles
Mrs Stanhope answered Belindas letter in a very guarded style she rebuked her niece severely for her imprudence in mentioning names in such a manner in a letter sent by the common post assured her that her reputation was in no danger that she hoped no niece of hers would set up for a prude—a character more suspected by men of the world than even that of a coquette that the person alluded to was a perfectly fit chaperon for any young lady to appear with in public as long as she was visited by the first people in town that as to any thing in the private conduct of that person and as to any private brouillieries between her and her lord Belinda should observe on these dangerous topics a profound silence both in her letters and her conversation that as long as the lady continued under the protection of her husband the world might whisper but would not speak out that as to Belindas own principles she would be utterly inexcusable if after the education she had received they could be hurt by any bad examples that she could not be too cautious in her management of a man of ——s character that she could have no serious cause for jealousy in the quarter she apprehended as marriage there could not be the object and there was such a difference of age that no permanent influence could probably be obtained by the lady that the most certain method for Miss Portman to expose herself to the ridicule of one of the parties and to the total neglect of the other would be to betray anxiety or jealousy that in short if she were fool enough to lose her own heart there would be little chance of her being wise enough to win that of——— who was evidently a man of gallantry rather than of sentiment and who was known to play his cards well and to have good luck whenever hearts were trumps
Belindas fears of Lady Delacour as a dangerous rival were much quieted by the artful insinuations of Mrs Stanhope with respect to her age c and in proportion as her fears subsided she blamed herself for having written too harshly of her ladyships conduct The idea that whilst she appeared as Lady Delacours friend she ought not to propagate any stories to her disadvantage operated powerfully upon Belindas mind and she reproached herself for having told even her aunt what she had seen in private She thought that she had been guilty of treachery and she wrote again immediately to Mrs Stanhope to conjure her to burn her last letter to forget if possible its contents and to believe that not a syllable of a similar nature should ever more be heard from her she was just concluding with the words—I hope my dear aunt will consider all this as an error of my judgment and not of my heart when Lady Delacour burst into the room exclaiming in a tone of gaiety Tragedy or comedy Belinda The masquerade dresses are come But hows this added she looking full in Belindas face—tears in the eyes blushes in the cheeks tremors in the joints and letters shuffling away But you novice of novices how awkwardly shuffled—A niece of Mrs Stanhopes and so unpractised a shuffler—And is it credible she should tremble in this ridiculous way about a loveletter or two
No loveletters indeed Lady Delacour said Belinda holding the paper fast as her ladyship half in play half in earnest attempted to snatch it from her
No loveletters then it must be treason and see it I must by all thats good or by all thats bad—I see the name of Delacour—and her ladyship absolutely seized the letters by force in spite of all Belindas struggles and entreaties
I beg I request I conjure you not to read it cried Miss Portman clasping her hands Read mine read mine if you must but dont read my aunt Stanhopes—Oh I beg I entreat I conjure you and she threw herself upon her knees
You beg you entreat you conjure Why this is like the Duchess de Brinvilliers who wrote on her paper of poisons Whoever finds this I entreat I conjure them in the name of more saints than I can remember not to open the paper any farther—What a simpleton to know so little of the nature of curiosity
As she spoke Lady Delacour opened Mrs Stanhopes letter read it from beginning to end folded it up coolly when she had finished it and simply said The person alluded to is almost as bad as her name at full length does Mrs Stanhope think no one can make out an inuendo in a libel or fill up a blank but an attorneygeneral pointing to a blank in Mrs Stanhopes letter left for the name of Clarence Hervey
Belinda was in too much confusion either to speak or think
You were right to swear they were not loveletters pursued her ladyship laying down the papers I protest I snatched them by way of frolic—I beg pardon All I can do now is not to read the rest
Nay—I beg—I wish—I insist upon your reading mine said Belinda
When Lady Delacour had read it her countenance suddenly changed—Worth a hundred of your aunts I declare said she patting Belindas cheek What a treasure to meet with any thing like a new heart—all hearts nowadays are secondhand at best
Lady Delacour spoke with a tone of feeling which Belinda had never heard from her before and which at this moment touched her so much that she took her ladyships hand and kissed it
CHAPTER II — MASKS
Where were we when all this began cried Lady Delacour forcing herself to resume an air of gaiety—O masquerade was the order of the day—tragedy or comedy which suits your genius best my dear
Whichever suits your ladyships taste least
Why my woman Marriott says I ought to be tragedy and upon the notion that people always succeed best when they take characters diametrically opposite to their own—Clarence Herveys principle—perhaps you dont think that he has any principles but there you are wrong I do assure you he has sound principles—of taste
Of that said Belinda with a constrained smile he gives the most convincing proof by his admiring your ladyship so much
And by his admiring Miss Portman so much more But whilst we are making speeches to one another poor Marriott is standing in distress like Garrick between tragedy and comedy
Lady Delacour opened her dressingroom door and pointed to her as she stood with the dress of the comic muse on one arm and the tragic muse on the other
I am afraid I have not spirits enough to undertake the comic muse said Miss Portman
Marriott who was a personage of prodigious consequence and the judge in the last resort at her mistresss toilette looked extremely out of humour at having been kept waiting so long and yet more so at the idea that her appellant jurisdiction could be disputed
Your ladyships taller than Miss Portman by half ahead said Marriott and to be sure will best become tragedy with this long train besides I had settled all the rest of your ladyships dress Tragedy they say is always tall and no offence your ladyships taller than Miss Portman by half a head
For head read inch said Lady Delacour if you please
When things are settled one cant bear to have them unsettled—but your ladyship must have your own way to be sure—Ill say no more cried she throwing down the dresses
Stay Marriott said Lady Delacour and she placed herself between the angry waitingmaid and the door
Why will you who are the best creature in the world put yourself into these furies about nothing Have patience with us and you shall be satisfied
Thats another affair said Marriott
Miss Portman continued her ladyship dont talk of not having spirits you that are all life—What say you Belinda—O yes you must be the comic muse and I it seems must be tragedy because Marriott has a passion for seeing me come sweeping by And because Marriott must have her own way in every thing—she rules me with a rod of iron my dear so tragedy I needs must be—Marriott knows her power
There was an air of extreme vexation in Lady Delacours countenance as she pronounced these last words in which evidently more was meant than met the ear Upon many occasions Miss Portman had observed that Marriott exercised despotic authority over her mistress and she had seen with surprise that a lady who would not yield an iota of power to her husband submitted herself to every caprice of the most insolent of waitingwomen For some time Belinda imagined that this submission was merely an air as she had seen some other fine ladies proud of appearing to be governed by a favourite maid but she was soon convinced that Marriott was no favourite with Lady Delacour that her ladyships was not proud humility but fear It seemed certain that a woman extravagantly fond of her own will would never have given it up without some very substantial reason It seemed as if Marriott was in possession of some secret which should for ever remain unknown This idea had occurred to Miss Portman more than once but never so forcibly as upon the present occasion There had always been some mystery about her ladyships toilette at certain hours doors were bolted and it was impossible for any body but Marriott to obtain admission Miss Portman at first imagined that Lady Delacour dreaded the discovery of her cosmetic secrets but her ladyships rouge was so glaring and her pearl powder was so obvious that Belinda was convinced there must be some other cause for this toilette secrecy There was a little cabinet beyond her bedchamber which Lady Delacour called her boudoir to which there was an entrance by a back staircase but no one ever entered there but Marriott One night Lady Delacour after dancing with great spirit at a ball at her own house fainted suddenly Miss Portman attended her to her bedchamber but Marriott begged that her lady might be left alone with her and she would by no means suffer Belinda to follow her into the boudoir All these things Belinda recollected in the space of a few seconds as she stood contemplating Marriott and the dresses The hurry of getting ready for the masquerade however dispelled these thoughts and by the time she was dressed the idea of what Clarence Hervey would think of her appearance was uppermost in her mind She was anxious to know whether he would discover her in the character of the comic muse Lady Delacour was discontented with her tragic attire and she grew still more out of humour with herself when she saw Belinda
I protest Marriott has made a perfect fright of me said her ladyship as she got into her carriage and Im positive my dress would become you a million of times better than your own
Miss Portman regretted that it was too late to change
Not at all too late my dear said Lady Delacour never too late for women to change their minds their dress or their lovers Seriously you know we are to call at my friend Lady Singletons—she sees masks tonight Im quite intimate there Ill make her let me step up to her own room where no soul can interrupt us and there we can change our dresses and Marriott will know nothing of the matter Marriotts a faithful creature and very fond of me fond of power too—but who is not—we must all have our faults one would not quarrel with such a good creature as Marriott for a trifle Then suddenly changing her tone she said Not a human being will find us out at the masquerade for no one but Mrs Freke knows that we are the two muses Clarence Hervey swears he should know me in any disguise—but I defy him—I shall take special delight in puzzling him Harriot Freke has told him in confidence that Im to be the widow Brady in mans clothes now thats to be Harriots own character so Hervey will make fine confusion
As soon as they got to Lady Singletons Lady Delacour and Miss Portman immediately went up stairs to exchange dresses Poor Belinda now that she felt herself in spirits to undertake the comic muse was rather vexed to be obliged to give up her becoming character but there was no resisting the polite energy of Lady Delacours vanity Her ladyship ran as quick as lightning into a closet within the dressingroom saying to Lady Singletons woman who attempted to follow with—Can I do any thing for your ladyship—No no no—nothing nothing—thank ye thank ye—I want no assistance—I never let any body do any thing for me but Marriott and she bolted herself in the closet In a few minutes she half opened the door threw out her tragic robes and cried Here Miss Portman give me yours—quick—and lets see whether comedy or tragedy will be ready first
Lord bless and forgive me said Lady Singletons woman when Lady Delacour at last threw open the door when she was completely dressed—but if your laship has not been dressing all this time in that den without any thing in the shape of a lookingglass and not to let me help I that should have been so proud
Lady Delacour put half a guinea into the waitingmaids hand laughed affectedly at her own whimsicalities and declared that she could always dress herself better without a glass than with one All this went off admirably well with every body but Miss Portman she could not help thinking it extraordinary that a person who was obviously fond of being waited upon would never suffer any person to assist her at her toilet except Marriott a woman of whom she was evidently afraid Lady Delacours quick eye saw curiosity painted in Belindas countenance and for a moment she was embarrassed but she soon recovered herself and endeavoured to turn the course of Miss Portmans thoughts by whispering to her some nonsense about Clarence Hervey—a cabalistical name which she knew had the power when pronounced in a certain tone of throwing Belinda into confusion
The first person they saw when they went into the drawingroom at Lady Singletons was this very Clarence Hervey who was not in a masquerade dress He had laid a wager with one of his acquaintance that he could perform the part of the serpent such as he is seen in Fuselis wellknown picture For this purpose he had exerted much ingenuity in the invention and execution of a length of coiled skin which he manoeuvred with great dexterity by means of internal wires his grand difficulty had been to manufacture the rays that were to come from his eyes He had contrived a set of phosphoric rays which he was certain would charm all the fair daughters of Eve He forgot it seems that phosphorus could not well be seen by candlelight When he was just equipped as a serpent his rays set fire to part of his envelope and it was with the greatest difficulty that he was extricated He escaped unhurt but his serpents skin was utterly consumed nothing remained but the melancholy spectacle of its skeleton He was obliged to give up the hopes of shining at the masquerade but he resolved to be at Lady Singletons that he might meet Lady Delacour and Miss Portman The moment that the tragic and comic muse appeared he invoked them with much humour and mock pathos declaring that he knew not which of them could best sing his adventure After a recital of his misfortune had entertained the company and after the muses had performed their parts to the satisfaction of the audience and their own the conversation ceased to be supported in masquerade character muses and harlequins gipsies and Cleopatras began to talk of their private affairs and of the news and the scandal of the day
A group of gentlemen amongst whom was Clarence Hervey gathered round the tragic muse as Mr Hervey had hinted that he knew she was a person of distinction though he would not tell her name After he had exercised his wit for some time without obtaining from the tragic muse one single syllable he whispered Lady Delacour why this unnatural reserve Do you imagine that through this tragical disguise I have not found you out
The tragic muse apparently absorbed in meditation vouchsafed no reply
The devil a word can you get for your pains Hervey said a gentleman of his acquaintance who joined the party at this instant Why didnt you stick to tother muse who to do her justice is as arrant a flirt as your heart could wish for
Theres danger in flirting said Clarence with an arrant flirt of Mrs Stanhopes training Theres a kind of electricity about that girl I have a sort of cobweb feeling an imaginary net coming all over me
Forewarned is forearmed replied his companion a man must be a novice indeed that could be taken in at this time of day by a niece of Mrs Stanhopes
That Mrs Stanhope must be a good clever dame faith said a third gentleman theres no less than six of her nieces whom she has got off within these four winters—not one of em now that has not made a catchmatch—Theres the eldest of the set Mrs Tollemache what had she in the devils name to set up with in the world but a pair of good eyes—her aunt to be sure taught her the use of them early enough they might have rolled to all eternity before they would have rolled me out of my senses but you see they did Tollemaches business However they are going to part now I hear Tollemache was tired of her before the honeymoon was over as I foretold Then theres the musical girl Joddrell who has no more ear than a post went and married her because he had a mind to set up for a connoisseur in music and Mrs Stanhope flattered him that he was one
The gentlemen joined in the general laugh the tragic muse sighed
Even were she at the School for Scandal the tragic muse dare not laugh except behind her mask said Clarence Hervey
Far be it from her to laugh at those follies which she must for ever deplore said Belinda in a feigned voice—What miseries spring from these illsuited marriages The victims are sacrificed before they have sense enough to avoid their fate
Clarence Hervey imagined that this speech alluded to Lady Delacours own marriage
Damn me if I know any woman young or old that would avoid being married if she could though cried Sir Philip Baddely a gentleman who always supplied each vacuity of sense with an oath but Rochfort didnt Valleton marry one of these nieces
Yes she was a mighty fine dancer and had good legs enough Mrs Stanhope got poor Valleton to fight a duel about her place in a country dance and then he was so pleased with himself for his prowess that he married the girl
Belinda made an effort to change her seat but she was encompassed so that she could not retreat
As to Jenny Mason the fifth of the nieces continued the witty gentleman she was as brown as mahogany and had neither eyes nose mouth nor legs what Mrs Stanhope could do with her I often wondered but she took courage rouged her up set her a going as a dasher and she dashed herself into Tom Levits curricle and Tom couldnt get her out again till she was the honourable Mrs Levit she then took the reins into her own hands and I hear shes driving him and herself the road to ruin as fast as they can gallop As for this Belinda Portman twas a good hit to send her to Lady Delacours but I take it she hangs upon hand for last winter when I was at Bath she was hawked about every where and the aunt was puffing her with might and main You heard of nothing wherever you went but of Belinda Portman and Belinda Portmans accomplishments Belinda Portman and her accomplishments Ill swear were as well advertised as Packwoods razor strops
Mrs Stanhope overdid the business I think resumed the gentleman who began the conversation girls brought to the hammer this way dont go off well Its true Christie himself is no match for dame Stanhope Many of my acquaintance were tempted to go and look at the premises but not one you may be sure had a thought of becoming a tenant for life
Thats an honour reserved for you Clarence Hervey said another tapping him upon the shoulder—Give ye joy Hervey give ye joy
Me said Clarence starting
Ill be hanged if he didnt change colour said his facetious companion and all the young men again joined in a laugh
Laugh on my merry men all cried Clarence but the devils in it if I dont know my own mind better than any of you You dont imagine I go to Lady Delacours to look for a wife—Belinda Portmans a good pretty girl but what then Do you think Im an idiot—do you think I could be taken in by one of the Stanhope school Do you think I dont see as plainly as any of you that Belinda Portmans a composition of art and affectation
Hush—not so loud Clarence here she comes said his companion The comic muse is not she—
Lady Delacour at this moment came lightly tripping towards them and addressing herself in the character of the comic muse to Hervey exclaimed
Hervey my Hervey most favoured of my votaries why do you forsake me
Why mourns my friend why weeps his downcast eye
That eye where mirth and fancy used to shine
Though you have lost your serpents form yet you may please any of the fair daughters of Eve in your own
Mr Hervey bowed all the gentlemen who stood near him smiled the tragic muse gave an involuntary sigh
Could I borrow a sigh or a tear from my tragic sister pursued Lady Delacour however unbecoming to my character I would if only sighs or tears can win the heart of Clarence Hervey—let me practise—and her ladyship practised sighing with much comic effect
Persuasive words and more persuasive sighs
said Clarence Hervey
A good bold Stanhope cast of the net faith whispered one of his companions Melpomene hast thou forgot thyself to marble pursued Lady Delacour I am not very well whispered Miss Portman to her ladyship could we get away
Get away from Clarence Hervey do you mean replied her ladyship in a whisper tis not easy but well try what can be done if it is necessary
Belinda had no power to reply to this raillery indeed she scarcely heard the words that were said to her but she put her arm within Lady Delacours who to her great relief had the good nature to leave the room with her immediately Her ladyship though she would sacrifice the feelings of others without compunction to her vanity whenever the power of her wit was disputed yet towards those by whom it was acknowledged she showed some mercy
What is the matter with the child said she as she went down the staircase
Nothing if I could have air said Belinda There was a crowd of servants in the hall
Why does Lady Delacour avoid me so pertinaciously What crime have I committed that I was not favoured with one word said Clarence Hervey who had followed them down stairs and overtook them in the hall
Do see if you can find any of my people cried Lady Delacour
Lady Delacour the comic muse exclaimed Mr Hervey I thought—
No matter what you thought interrupted her ladyship Let my carriage draw up for heres a young friend of yours trembling so about nothing that I am half afraid she will faint and you know it would not be so pleasant to faint here amongst footmen Stay this room is empty O I did not mean to tell you to stay said she to Hervey who involuntarily followed her in the utmost consternation
Im perfectly well now—perfectly well said Belinda
Perfectly a simpleton I think said Lady Delacour Nay my dear you must be ruled your mask must come off didnt you tell me you wanted air—What now This is not the first time Clarence Hervey has ever seen your face without a mask is it Its the first time indeed he or anybody else ever saw it of such a colour I believe
When Lady Delacour pulled off Belindas mask her face was during the first instant pale the next moment crimsoned over with a burning blush
What is the matter with ye both How he stands said Lady Delacour turning to Mr Hervey Did you never see a woman blush before—or did you never say or do any thing to make a woman blush before Will you give Miss Portman a glass of water—theres some behind you on that sideboard man—but he has neither eyes ears nor understanding—Do go about your business said her ladyship pushing him towards the door—Do go about your business for I havent common patience with you on my conscience I believe the mans in love—and not with me Thats salvolatile for you child I perceive continued she to Belinda O you can walk now—but remember you are on slippery ground remember Clarence Hervey is not a marrying man and you are not a married woman
It is perfectly indifferent to me madam Belinda said with a voice and look of proud indignation
Lady Delacour your carriage has drawn up said Clarence Hervey returning to the door but without entering
Then put this perfectly well and perfectly indifferent lady into it said Lady Delacour
He obeyed without uttering a syllable
Dumb absolutely dumb I protest said her ladyship as he handed her in afterwards Why Clarence the casting of your serpents skin seems to have quite changed your nature—nothing but the simplicity of the dove left and I expect to hear you cooing presently—dont you Miss Portman She ordered the coachman to drive to the Pantheon
To the Pantheon I was in hopes your ladyship would have the goodness to set me down at home for indeed I shall be a burden to you and everybody else at the masquerade
If you have made any appointment for the rest of the evening in Berkleysquare Ill set you down certainly if you insist upon it my dear—for punctuality is a virtue but prudence is a virtue too in a young lady who as your aunt Stanhope would say has to establish herself in the world Why these tears Belinda—or are they tears for by the light of the lamps I can scarcely tell though Ill swear I saw the handkerchief at the eyes What is the meaning of all this Youd best trust me—for I know as much of men and manners as your aunt Stanhope at least and in one word you have nothing to fear from me and every thing to hope from yourself if you will only dry up your tears keep on your mask and take my advice youll find it as good as your aunt Stanhopes
My aunt Stanhopes O cried Belinda never never more will I take such advice never more will I expose myself to be insulted as a female adventurer—Little did I know in what a light I appeared little did I know what gentlemen thought of my aunt Stanhope of my cousins of myself
Gentlemen I presume Clarence Hervey stands at this instant in your imagination as the representative of all the gentlemen in England and he instead of Anacharsis Cloots is now to be sure lorateur du genre humain Pray let me have a specimen of the eloquence which to judge by its effects must be powerful indeed
Miss Portman not without some reluctance repeated the conversation which she had heard—And is this all cried Lady Delacour Lord my dear you must either give up living in the world or expect to hear yourself and your aunts and your cousins and your friends from generation to generation abused every hour in the day by their friends and your friends tis the common course of things Now you know what a multitude of obedient humble servants dear creatures and very sincere and most affectionate friends I have in my writingdesk and on my mantelpiece not to mention the cards which crowd the common rack from intimate acquaintance who cannot live without the honour or favour or pleasure of seeing Lady Delacour twice a week—do you think Im fool enough to imagine that they would care the hundredth part of a straw if I were this minute thrown into the Red or the Black Sea—No I have not one real friend in the world except Harriot Freke yet you see I am the comic muse and mean to keep it up—keep it up to the last—on purpose to provoke those who would give their eyes to be able to pity me—I humbly thank them no pity for Lady Delacour Follow my example Belinda elbow your way through the crowd if you stop to be civil and beg pardon and hope I didnt hurt ye you will be trod under foot Now youll meet those young men continually who took the liberty of laughing at your aunt and your cousins and yourself they are men of fashion Show them youve no feeling and theyll acknowledge you for a woman of fashion Youll marry better than any of your cousins—Clarence Hervey if you can and then it will be your turn to laugh about nets and cages As to love and all that—
The carriage stopped at the Pantheon just as her ladyship came to the words love and all that Her thoughts took a different turn and during the remainder of the night she exhibited in such a manner as to attract universal admiration all the ease and grace and gaiety of Euphrosyne
To Belinda the night appeared long and dull the commonplace wit of chimneysweepers and gipsies the antics of harlequins the graces of flowergirls and Cleopatras had not power to amuse her for her thoughts still recurred to that conversation which had given her so much pain—a pain which Lady Delacours raillery had failed to obliterate
How happy you are Lady Delacour said she when they got into the carriage to go home how happy you are to have such an amazing flow of spirits
Amazing you might well say if you knew all said Lady Delacour and she heaved a deep sigh threw herself back in the carriage let fall her mask and was silent It was broad daylight and Belinda had a full view of her countenance which was the picture of despair She uttered not one syllable more nor had Miss Portman the courage to interrupt her meditations till they came within sight of Lady Singletons when Belinda ventured to remind her that she had resolved to stop there and change dresses before Marriott saw them
No its no matter said Lady Delacour Marriott will leave me at the last like all the rest—tis no matter Her ladyship sunk back into her former attitude but after she had remained silent for some minutes she started up and exclaimed—
If I had served myself with half the zeal that I have served the world I should not now be thus forsaken I have sacrificed reputation happiness every thing to the love of frolic—all frolic will soon be at an end with me—I am dying—and I shall die unlamented by any human being If I were to live my life over again what a different life it should be—What a different person I would be1—But it is all over now—I am dying
Belindas astonishment at these words and at the solemn manner in which they were pronounced was inexpressible she gazed at Lady Delacour and then repeated the word—dying—Yes dying said Lady Delacour
But you seem to me and to all the world in perfect health and but half an hour ago in perfect spirits said Belinda
I seem to you and to all the world what I am not—I tell you I am dying said her ladyship in an emphatic tone
Not a word more passed till they got home Lady Delacour hurried up stairs bidding Belinda follow her to her dressingroom Marriott was lighting the six wax candles on the dressingtable—As I live they have changed dresses after all said Marriott to herself as she fixed her eyes upon Lady Delacour and Miss Portman Ill be burnt if I dont make my lady remember this
Marriott you need not wait Ill ring when I want you said Lady Delacour and taking one of the candles from the table she passed on hastily with Miss Portman through her dressingroom through her bedchamber and to the door of the mysterious cabinet
Marriott the key of this door cried she impatiently after she had in vain attempted to open it
Heavenly graciousness cried Marriott is my lady out of her senses
The key—the key—quick the key repeated Lady Delacour in a peremptory tone She seized it as soon as Marriott drew it from her pocket and unlocked the door
Had not I best put the things to rights my lady said Marriott catching fast hold of the opening door
Ill ring when you are wanted Marriott said Lady Delacour and pushing open the door with violence she rushed forward to the middle of the room and turning back she beckoned to Belinda to follow her—Come in what is it you are afraid of said she Belinda went on and the moment she was in the room Lady Delacour shut and locked the door The room was rather dark as there was no light in it except what came from the candle which Lady Delacour held in her hand and which burned but dimly Belinda as she looked round saw nothing but a confusion of linen rags vials some empty some full and she perceived that there was a strong smell of medicines
Lady Delacour whose motions were all precipitate like those of a person whose mind is in great agitation looked from side to side of the room without seeming to know what she was in search of She then with a species of fury wiped the paint from her face and returning to Belinda held the candle so as to throw the light full upon her livid features Her eyes were sunk her cheeks hollow no trace of youth or beauty remained on her deathlike countenance which formed a horrid contrast with her gay fantastic dress
You are shocked Belinda said she but as yet you have seen nothing—look here—and baring one half of her bosom she revealed a hideous spectacle
Belinda sunk back into a chair Lady Delacour flung herself on her knees before her
Am I humbled am I wretched enough cried she her voice trembling with agony Yes pity me for what you have seen and a thousand times more for that which you cannot see—my mind is eaten away like my body by incurable disease—inveterate remorse—remorse for a life of folly—of folly which has brought on me all the punishments of guilt
My husband continued she and her voice suddenly altered from the tone of grief to that of anger—my husband hates me—no matter—I despise him His relations hate me—no matter—I despise them My own relations hate me—no matter I never wish to see them more—never shall they see my sorrow—never shall they hear a complaint a sigh from me There is no torture which I could not more easily endure than their insulting pity I will die as I have lived the envy and admiration of the world When I am gone let them find out their mistake and moralize if they will over my grave She paused Belinda had no power to speak
Promise swear to me resumed Lady Delacour vehemently seizing Belindas hand that you will never reveal to any mortal what you have seen and heard this night No living creature suspects that Lady Delacour is dying by inches except Marriott and that woman whom but a few hours ago I thought my real friend to whom I trusted every secret of my life every thought of my heart Fool idiot dupe that I was to trust to the friendship of a woman whom I knew to be without principle but I thought she had honour I thought she could never betray me—O Harriot Harriot you to desert me—Any thing else I could have borne—but you who I thought would have supported me in the tortures of mind and body which I am to go through—you that I thought would receive my last breath—you to desert me—Now I am alone in the world—left to the mercy of an insolent waitingwoman
Lady Delacour hid her face in Belindas lap and almost stifled by the violence of contending emotions she at last gave vent to them and sobbed aloud
Trust to one said Belinda pressing her hand with all the tenderness which humanity could dictate who will never leave you at the mercy of an insolent waitingwoman—trust to me
Trust to you said Lady Delacour looking up eagerly in Belindas face yes—I think—I may trust to you for though a niece of Mrs Stanhopes I have seen this day and have seen with surprise symptoms of artless feeling about you This was what tempted me to open my mind to you when I found that I had lost the only friend—but I will think no more of that—if you have a heart you must feel for me—Leave me now—tomorrow you shall hear my whole history—now I am quite exhausted—ring for Marriott Marriott appeared with a face of constrained civility and latent rage Put me to bed Marriott said Lady Delacour with a subdued voice but first light Miss Portman to her room—she need not—yet—see the horrid business of my toilette
Belinda when she was left alone immediately opened her shutters and threw up the sash to refresh herself with the morning air She felt excessively fatigued and in the hurry of her mind she could not think of any thing distinctly She took off her masquerade dress and went to bed in hopes of forgetting for a few hours what she felt indelibly impressed upon her imagination But it was in vain that she endeavoured to compose herself to sleep her ideas were in too great and painful confusion For some time whenever she closed her eyes the face and form of Lady Delacour such as she had just beheld them seemed to haunt her afterwards the idea of Clarence Hervey and the painful recollection of the conversation she had overheard recurred to her the words Do you think I dont know that Belinda Portman is a composition of art and affectation fixed in her memory She recollected with the utmost minuteness every look of contempt which she had seen in the faces of the young men whilst they spoke of Mrs Stanhope the matchmaker Belindas mind however was not yet sufficiently calm to reflect she seemed only to live over again the preceding night At last the strange motley figures which she had seen at the masquerade flitted before her eyes and she sunk into an uneasy slumber
CHAPTER III — LADY DELACOURS HISTORY
Miss Portman was awakened by the ringing of Lady Delacours bedchamber bell She opened her eyes with the confused idea that something disagreeable had happened and before she had distinctly recollected herself Marriott came to her bedside with a note from Lady Delacour it was written with a pencil
DELACOUR—my lord is to have today what Garrick used to call a gander feast—will you dine with me têteàtête and Ill write an excuse alias a lie to Lady Singleton in the form of a charming note—I pique myself sur léloquence du billet—then we shall have the evening to ourselves I have much to say as people usually have when they begin to talk of themselves
I have taken a double dose of opium and am not so horribly out of spirits as I was last night so you need not be afraid of another scene
Let me see you in my dressingroom dear Belinda as soon as you have adored
With head uncoverd the cosmetic powers
But you dont paint—no matter—you will—you must—every body must sooner or later In the mean time whenever you want to send a note that shall not be opened by the bearer put your trust neither in wafer nor wax but twist it as I twist mine You see I wish to put you in possession of some valuable secrets before I leave this world—this bythebye I dont upon second thoughts which are always best mean to do yet There certainly were such people as Amazons—I hope you admire them—for who could live without the admiration of Belinda Portman—not Clarence Hervey assuredly—nor yet
T C H DELACOUR
Belinda obeyed the summons to her ladyships dressingroom she found Lady Delacour with her face completely repaired with paint and her spirits with opium She was in high consultation with Marriott and Mrs Franks the milliner about the crape petticoat of her birthnight dress which was extended over a large hoop in full state Mrs Franks descanted long and learnedly upon festoons and loops knots and fringes submitting all the time every thing to her ladyships better judgment
Marriott was sulky and silent She opened her lips but once upon the question of laburnum or no laburnum flowers
Against them she quoted the memoirs and authority of the celebrated Mrs Bellamy who has a case in point to prove that straw colour must ever look like dirty white by candlelight Mrs Franks to compromise the matter proposed gold laburnums because nothing can look better by candlelight or any light than gold and Lady Delacour who was afraid that the milliners imagination now that it had once touched upon gold might be led to the vulgar idea of ready money suddenly broke up the conference by exclaiming
We shall be late at Phillipss exhibition of French china Mrs Franks must let us see her again tomorrow to take into consideration your court dress my dear Belinda—Miss Portman presented by Lady Delacour—Mrs Franks let her dress for heavens sake be something that will make a fine paragraph—I give you fourandtwenty hours to think of it I have done a horrid act this day continued she after Mrs Franks had left the room—absolutely written a twisted note to Clarence Hervey my dear—but why did I tell you that Now your head will run upon the twisted note all day instead of upon The Life and Opinions of a Lady of Quality related by herself
After dinner Lady Delacour having made Belinda protest and blush and blush and protest that her head was not running upon the twisted note began the history of her life and opinions in the following manner—
I do nothing by halves my dear I shall not tell you my adventures as Gil Blas told his to the Count dOlivarez—skipping over the useful passages I am no hypocrite and have nothing worse than folly to conceal thats bad enough—for a woman who is known to play the fool is always suspected of playing the devil But I begin where I ought to end—with my moral which I dare say you are not impatient to anticipate I never read or listened to a moral at the end of a story in my life—manners for me and morals for those that like them My dear you will be woefully disappointed if in my story you expect any thing like a novel I once heard a general say that nothing was less like a review than a battle and I can tell you that nothing is more unlike a novel than real life Of all lives mine has been the least romantic No love in it but a great deal of hate I was a rich heiress—I had I believe a hundred thousand pounds or more and twice as many caprices I was handsome and witty—or to speak with that kind of circumlocution which is called humility the world the partial world thought me a beauty and a belesprit Having told you my fortune need I add that I or it had lovers in abundance—of all sorts and degrees—not to reckon those it may be presumed who died of concealed passions for me I had sixteen declarations and proposals in form then what in the name of wonder or of common sense—which bythebye is the greatest of wonders—what in the name of common sense made me marry Lord Delacour Why my dear you—no not you but any girl who is not used to have a parcel of admirers would think it the easiest thing in the world to make her choice but let her judge by what she feels when a dexterous mercer or linendraper produces pretty thing after pretty thing—and this is so becoming and this will wear for ever as he swears but then thats so fashionable—the novice stands in a charming perplexity and after examining and doubting and tossing over half the goods in the shop its ten to one when it begins to get late the young lady in a hurry pitches upon the very ugliest and worst thing that she has seen Just so it was with me and my lovers and just so—
Sad was the hour and luckless was the day
I pitched upon Viscount Delacour for my lord and judge He had just at that time lost at Newmarket more than he was worth in every sense of the word and my fortune was the most convenient thing in the world to a man in his condition Lozenges are of sovereign use in some complaints The heiress lozenge is a specific in some consumptions You are surprised that I can laugh and jest about such a melancholy thing as my marriage with Lord Delacour and so am I especially when I recollect all the circumstances for though I bragged of there being no love in my history there was when I was a goose or a gosling of about eighteen—just your age Belinda I think—something very like love playing about my heart or my head There was a certain Henry Percival a Clarence Hervey of a man—no he had ten times the sense begging your pardon of Clarence Hervey—his misfortune or mine was that he had too much sense—he was in love with me but not with my faults now I wisely considering that my faults were the greatest part of me insisted upon his being in love with my faults He wouldnt or couldnt—I said wouldnt he said couldnt I had been used to see the men about me lick the dust at my feet for it was gold dust Percival made wry faces—Lord Delacour made none I pointed him out to Percival as an example—it was an example he would not follow I was provoked and I married in hopes of provoking the man I loved The worst of it was I did not provoke him as much as I expected Six months afterwards I heard of his marriage with a very amiable woman I hate those very amiable women Poor Percival I should have been a very happy woman I fancy if I had married you—for I believe you were the only man who ever really loved me but all that is over now—Where were we O I married my Lord Delacour knowing him to be a fool and believing that for this reason I should find no trouble in governing him But what a fatal mistakea fool of all animals in the creation is the most difficult to govern We set out in the fashionable world with a mutual desire to be as extravagant as possible Strange that with this similarity of taste we could never agree—strange that this similarity of taste was the cause of our perpetual quarrels During the first year of our marriage I had always the upper hand in these disputes and the last word and I was content Stubborn as the brute was I thought I should in time break him in From the specimens you have seen you may guess that I was even then a tolerable proficient in the dear art of tormenting I had almost gained my point just broken my lords heart when one fair morning I unluckily told his man Champfort that he knew no more how to cut hair than a sheepshearer Champfort who is conceit personified took mortal offence at this and the devil who is always at hand to turn anger into malice put it into Champforts head to put it into my lords head that the world thought—My lady governed him My lord took fire They say the torpedo the coldest of cold creatures sometimes gives out a spark—I suppose when electrified with anger The next time that innocent I insisted upon my Lord Delacours doing or not doing—I forget which—the most reasonable thing in the world my lord turns short round and answers—My Lady Delacour I am not a man to be governed by a wife—And from that time to this the words I am not a man to be governed by a wife have been written in his obstinate face as all the world who can read the human countenance may see My dear I laugh but even in the midst of laughter there is sadness But you dont know what it is—I hope you never may—to have an obstinate fool for a bosom friend
I at first flattered myself that my lords was not an inveterate incurable malady but from his obvious weakness I might have seen that there was no hope for cases of obstinacy are always dangerous in proportion to the weakness of the patient My lords case was desperate Kill or cure was my humane or prudent maxim I determined to try the poison of jealousy by way of an alterative I had long kept it in petto as my ultimate remedy I fixed upon a proper subject—a man with whom I thought that I could coquette to all eternity without any danger to myself—a certain Colonel Lawless as empty a coxcomb as you would wish to see The world said I to myself can never be so absurd as to suspect Lady Delacour with such a man as this though her lord may and will for nothing is too absurd for him to believe Half my theory proved just that is saying a great deal for any theory My lord swallowed the remedy that I had prepared for him with an avidity and a bonhommie which it did me good to behold my remedy operated beyond my most sanguine expectations The poor man was cured of his obstinacy and became stark mad with jealousy Then indeed I had some hopes of him for a madman can be managed a fool cannot In a months time I made him quite docile With a face longer than the weeping philosophers he came to me one morning and assured me he would do every thing I pleased provided I would consult my own honour and his and give up Colonel Lawless
Give up—I could hardly forbear laughing at the expression I replied that as long as my lord treated me with becoming respect I had never in thought or deed given him just cause of complaint but that I was not a woman to be insulted or to be kept as I had hitherto been in leadingstrings by a husband My lord flattered as I meant he should be with the idea that it was possible he should be suspected of keeping a wife in leadingstrings fell to making protestations—He hoped his future conduct would prove c Upon this hint I gave the reins to my imagination and full drive I went into a fresh career of extravagance if I were checked it was an insult and I began directly to talk of leadingstrings This ridiculous game I played successfully enough for some time till at length though naturally rather slow at calculation he actually discovered that if we lived at the rate of twenty thousand ayear and had only ten thousand ayear to spend we should in due time have nothing left This notable discovery he communicated to me one morning after a long preamble When he had finished prosing I agreed that it was demonstrably just that he should retrench his expenses but that it was equally unjust and impossible that I could make any reformation in my civil list that economy was a word which I had never heard of in my life till I married his lordship that upon second recollection it was true I had heard of such a thing as national economy and that it would be a very pretty though rather hackneyed topic of declamation for a maiden speech in the House of Lords I therefore advised him to reserve all he had to say upon the subject for the noble lord upon the woolsack nay I very graciously added that upon this condition I would go to the house myself to give his arguments and eloquence a fair hearing and that I would do my best to keep myself awake This was all mighty playful and witty but it happened that my Lord Delacour who never had any great taste for wit could not this unlucky morning at all relish it Of course I grew angry and reminded him with an indelicacy which his want of generosity justified that an heiress who had brought a hundred thousand pounds into his family had some right to amuse herself and that it was not my fault if elegant amusements were more expensive than others
Then came a long criminating and recriminating chapter It was My lord your Newmarket blunders—My lady your cursed theatricals—My lord I have surely a right—and My lady I have surely as good a right
But my dear Belinda however we might pay one another we could not pay all the world with words In short after running through thousands and tens of thousands we were actually in distress for money Then came selling of lands and I dont know what devices for raising money according to the modes of lawyers and attorneys It was quite indifferent to me how they got money provided they did get it By what art these gentlemen raised money I never troubled myself to inquire it might have been the black art for any thing I know to the contrary I know nothing of business So I signed all the papers they brought to me and I was mighty well pleased to find that by so easy an expedient as writing T C H Delacour I could command money at will I signed and signed till at last I was with all due civility informed that my signature was no longer worth a farthing and when I came to inquire into the cause of this phenomenon I could nowise understand what my Lord Delacours lawyer said to me he was a prig and I had not patience either to listen to him or to look at him I sent for an old uncle of mine who used to manage all my money matters before I was married I put the uncle and the lawyer into a room together with their parchments to fight the matter out or to come to a right understanding if they could The last it seems was quite impossible In the course of half an hour out comes my uncle in such a rage I never shall forget his face—all the bile in his body had gotten into it he had literally no whites to his eyes My dear uncle said I what is the matter Why you are absolutely gold stick in waiting
No matter what I am child said the uncle Ill tell you what you are with all your wit—a dupe tis a shame for a woman of your sense to be such a fool and to know nothing of business and if you knew nothing yourself could not you send for me
I was too ignorant to know that I know nothing said I But I will not trouble you with all the said Is and said hes I was made to understand that if Lord Delacour were to die the next day I should live a beggar Upon this I grew serious as you may imagine My uncle assured me that I had been grossly imposed upon by my lord and his lawyer and that I had been swindled out of my senses and out of my dower I repeated all that my uncle said very faithfully to Lord Delacour and all that either he or his lawyer could furnish out by way of answer was that Necessity had no law Necessity it must be allowed though it might be the mother of law was never with my lord the mother of invention Having now found out that I had a good right to complain I indulged myself in it most gloriously in short my dear we had a comfortable family quarrel Love quarrels are easily made up but of money quarrels there is no end From the moment these money quarrels commenced I began to hate Lord Delacour before I had only despised him You can have no notion to what meanness extravagance reduces men I have known Lord Delacour shirk and look so shabby and tell so many lies to people about a hundred guineas—a hundred guineas—what do I say—about twenty ten five O my dear I cannot bear the thoughts of it
But I was going on to tell you that my good uncle and all my relations quarrelled with me for having ruined myself as they said but I said they quarrelled with me for fear I should ask them for some of their vile trash Accordingly I abused and ridiculed them one and all and for my pains all my acquaintance said that Lady Delacour was a woman of a vast deal of spirit
We were relieved from our money embarrassments by the timely death of a rich nobleman to whose large estate my Lord Delacour was heiratlaw I was intoxicated with the idle compliments of all my acquaintance and I endeavoured to console myself for misery at home by gaiety abroad Ambitious of pleasing universally I became the worst of slaves—a slave to the world Not a moment of my time was at my own disposal—not one of my actions I may say not one of my thoughts was my own I was obliged to find things charming every hour which tired me to death and every day it was the same dull round of hypocrisy and dissipation You wonder to hear me speak in this manner Belinda—but one must speak the truth sometimes and this is what I have been saying to Harriot Freke continually for these ten years past Then why persist in the same kind of life you say Why my dear because I could not stop I was fit for this kind of life and for no other I could not be happy at home for what sort of a companion could I have made of Lord Delacour By this time he was tired of his horse Potatoe and his horse Highflyer and his horse Eclipse and Goliah and Jenny Grey c and he had taken to hard drinking which soon turned him as you see quite into a beast
I forgot to tell you that I had three children during the first five years of my marriage The first was a boy he was born dead and my lord and all his odious relations laid the blame upon me because I would not be kept prisoner half a year by an old mother of his a vile Cassandra who was always prophesying that my child would not be born alive My second child was a girl but a poor diminutive sickly thing It was the fashion at this time for fine mothers to suckle their own children so much the worse for the poor brats Fine nurses never made fine children There was a prodigious rout made about the matter a vast deal of sentiment and sympathy and compliments and inquiries but after the novelty was over I became heartily sick of the business and at the end of about three months my poor child was sick too—I dont much like to think of it—it died If I had put it out to nurse I should have been thought by my friends an unnatural mother but I should have saved its life I should have bewailed the loss of the infant more if Lord Delacours relations and my own had not made such lamentations upon the occasion that I was stunned I couldnt or wouldnt shed a tear and I left it to the old dowager to perform in public as she wished the part of chief mourner and to comfort herself in private by lifting up her hands and eyes and railing at me as the most insensible of mothers All this time I suffered more than she did but that is what she shall never have the satisfaction of knowing I determined that if ever I had another child I would not have the barbarity to nurse it myself Accordingly when my third child a girl was born I sent it off immediately to the country to a stout healthy broadfaced nurse under whose care it grew and flourished so that at three years old when it was brought back to me I could scarcely believe the chubby little thing was my own child The same reasons which convinced me I ought not to nurse my own child determined me à plus forte raison not to undertake its education Lord Delacour could not bear the child because it was not a boy The girl was put under the care of a governess who plagued my heart out with her airs and tracasseries for three or four years at the end of which time as she turned out to be Lord Delacours mistress in form I was obliged—in form—to beg she would leave my house and I put her pupil into better hands I hope at a celebrated academy for young ladies There she will at any rate be better instructed than she could be at home I beg your pardon my dear for this digression on nursing and schooling but I wanted only to explain to you why it was that when I was weary of the business I still went on in a course of dissipation You see I had nothing at home either in the shape of husband or children to engage my affections I believe it was this aching void in my heart which made me after looking abroad some time for a bosom friend take such a prodigious fancy to Mrs Freke She was just then coming into fashion she struck me the first time I met her as being downright ugly but there was a wild oddity in her countenance which made one stare at her and she was delighted to be stared at especially by me so we were mutually agreeable to each other—I as starer and she as staree Harriot Freke had without comparison more assurance than any man or woman I ever saw she was downright brass but of the finest kind—Corinthian brass She was one of the first who brought what I call harum scarum manners into fashion I told you that she had assurance—impudence I should have called it for no other word is strong enough Such things as I have heard Harriot Freke say—You will not believe it—but her conversation at first absolutely made me like an oldfashioned fool wish I had a fan to play with But to my astonishment all this took surprisingly with a set of fashionable young men I found it necessary to reform my manners If I had not taken heart of grace and publicly abjured the heresies of false delicacy I should have been excommunicated Lady Delacours sprightly elegance—allow me to speak of myself in the style in which the newspaper writers talk of me—Lady Delacours sprightly elegance was but pale not to say faded pink compared with the scarlet of Mrs Frekes dashing audacity As my rival she would on certain ground have beat me hollow it was therefore good policy to make her my friend we joined forces and nothing could stand against us But I have no right to give myself credit for good policy in forming this intimacy I really followed the dictates of my heart or my imagination There was a frankness in Harriots manner which I mistook for artlessness of character she spoke with such unbounded freedom on certain subjects that I gave her credit for unbounded sincerity on all subjects she had the talent of making the world believe that virtue to be invulnerable by nature which disdained the common outworks of art for its defence I amongst others took it for granted that the woman who could make it her sport to touch the brink of all we hate must have a stronger head than other people I have since been convinced however of my mistake I am persuaded that few can touch the brink without tumbling headlong down the precipice Dont apply this my dear literally to the person of whom we were speaking I am not base enough to betray her secrets however I may have been provoked by her treachery Of her character and history you shall hear nothing but what is necessary for my own justification The league of amity between us was scarcely ratified before my Lord Delacour came with his wise remonstrating face to beg me to consider what was due to my own honour and his Like the cosmogonyman in the Vicar of Wakefield he came out over and over with this cant phrase which had once stood him in stead Do you think my lord said I that because I gave up poor Lawless to oblige you I shall give up all common sense to suit myself to your taste Harriot Freke is visited by every body but old dowagers and old maids I am neither an old dowager nor an old maid—the consequence is obvious my lord Pertness in dialogue my dear often succeeds better with my lord than wit I therefore saved the sterling gold and bestowed upon him nothing but counters I tell you this to save the credit of my taste and judgment
But to return to my friendship for Harriot Freke I of course repeated to her every word which had passed between my husband and me She outheroded Herod upon the occasion and laughed so much at what she called my folly in pleading guilty in the Lawless cause that I was downright ashamed of myself and purely to prove my innocence I determined upon the first convenient opportunity to renew my intimacy with the colonel The opportunity which I so ardently desired of redeeming my independence was not long wanting Lawless as my stars which you know are always more in fault than ourselves would have it returned just at this time from the continent where he had been with his regiment he returned with a wound across his forehead and a black fillet which made him look something more like a hero and ten times more like a coxcomb than ever He was in fashion at all events and amongst other ladies Mrs Luttridge odious Mrs Luttridge smiled upon him The colonel however had taste enough to know the difference between smile and smile he laid himself and his laurels at my feet and I carried him and them about in triumph Wherever I went especially to Mrs Luttridges envy and scandal joined hands to attack me and I heard wondering and whispering wherever I went I had no object in view but to provoke my husband therefore conscious of the purity of my intentions it was my delight to brave the opinion of the wondering world I gave myself no concern about the effect my coquetry might have upon the object of this flirtation Poor Lawless Heart I took it for granted he had none how should a coxcomb come by a heart Vanity I knew he had in abundance but this gave me no alarm as I thought that if it should ever make him forget him self I mean forget what was due to me I could by one flash of my wit strike him to the earth or blast him for ever One night we had been together at Mrs Luttridges—she amongst other good things kept a faro bank and I am convinced cheated Be that as it may I lost an immensity of money and it was my pride to lose with as much gaiety as any body else could win so I was or appeared to be in uncommonly high spirits and Lawless had his share of my good humour We left Mrs Luttridges together early about halfpast one As the colonel was going to hand me to my carriage a smartlooking young man as I thought came up close to the coach door and stared me full in the face I was not a woman to be disconcerted at such a thing as this but I really was startled when the young fellow jumped into the carriage after me I thought he was mad I had only courage enough to scream Lawless seized hold of the intruder to drag him out and out he dragged the youth exclaiming in a high tone What is the meaning of all this sir Who the devil are you My names Lawless who the devil are you The answer to this was a convulsion of laughter By the laugh I knew it to be Harriot Freke Who am I only a Freke cried she shake hands I gave her my hand into the carriage she sprang and desired the colonel to follow her Lawless laughed we all laughed and drove away Where do you think Ive been said Harriot in the gallery of the House of Commons almost squeezed to death these four hours but I swore Id hear Sheridans speech tonight and I did betted fifty guineas I would with Mrs Luttridge and have won Fun and Freke for ever huzza Harriot was mad with spirits and so noisy and unmanageable that as I told her I was sure she was drunk Lawless in his silly way laughed incessantly and I was so taken up with her oddities that for some time I did not perceive we were going the Lord knows where till at last when the larum of Harriots voice ceased for an instant I was struck with the strange sound of the carriage Where are we not upon the stones Im sure said I and putting my head out of the window I saw we were beyond the turnpike The coachmans drunk as well as you Harriot said I and I was going to pull the string to stop him but Harriot had hold of it The man is going very right said she Ive told him where to go Now dont fancy that Lawless and I are going to run away with you All this is unnecessary nowadays thank God To this I agreed and laughed for fear of being ridiculous Guess where you are going said Harriot I guessed and guessed but could not guess right and my merry companions were infinitely diverted with my perplexity and impatience more especially as I believe in spite of all my efforts I grew rather graver than usual We went on to the end of Sloanestreet and quite out of town at last we stopped It was dark the footmans flambeau was out I could only just see by the lamps that we were at the door of a lone oddlooking house The house door opened and an old woman appeared with a lantern in her hand
Where is this farce or freak or whatever you call it to end said I as Harriot pulled me into the dark passage along with her
Alas my dear Belinda said Lady Delacour pausing I little foresaw where or how it was to end But I am not come yet to the tragical part of my story and as long as I can laugh I will As the old woman and her miserable light went on before us I could almost have thought of Sir Bertrand or of some German horrifications but I heard Lawless who never could help laughing at the wrong time bursting behind me with a sense of his own superiority
Now you will learn your destiny Lady Delacour said Harriot in a solemn tone
Yes from the celebrated Mrs W—— the modern dealer in art magic said I laughing for now I guess whereabouts I am Colonel Lawlesss laugh broke the spell Harriot Freke never whilst you live expect to succeed in the sublime Harriot swore at the colonel for the veriest spoilsport she had ever seen and she whispered to me—The reason he laughs is because he is afraid of our suspecting the truth of him that he believes tout de bon in conjuration and the devil and all that The old woman whose cue I found was to be dumb opened a door at the top of a narrow staircase and pointing to a tall figure completely enveloped in fur left us to our fate I will not trouble you with a pompous description of all the mummery of the scene my dear as I despair of being able to frighten you out of your wits I should have been downright angry with Harriot Freke for bringing me to such a place but that I knew women of the first fashion had been with Mrs W—— before us—some in sober sadness some by way of frolic So as there was no fear of being ridiculous there was no shame you know and my conscience was quite at ease Harriot had no conscience so she was always at ease and never more so than in male attire which she had been told became her particularly She supported the character of a young rake with such spirit and truth that I am sure no common conjuror could have discovered any thing feminine about her She rattled on with a set of nonsensical questions and among other things she asked How soon will Lady Delacour marry again after her lords death
She will never marry after her lords death answered the oracle Then she will marry during his lifetime said Harriot True answered the oracle Colonel Lawless laughed I was angry and the colonel would have been quiet for he was a gentleman but there was no such thing as managing Mrs Freke who though she had laid aside the modesty of her own sex had not acquired the decency of the other Who is to be Lady Delacours second husband cried she youll not offend any of the present company by naming the man Her second husband I cannot name replied the oracle but let her beware of a Lawless lover Mrs Freke and Colonel Lawless encouraged by her triumphed over me without mercy—I may say without shame Well my dear I am in a hurry to have done with all this though I doted upon folly yet I was terrified at the thoughts of any thing worse The idea of a divorce the public brand of a shameful life shocked me in spite of all my real and all my assumed levity O that I had at this instant dared to be myself But my fear of ridicule was greater than my fear of vice Bless me my dear Lady Delacour whispered Harriot as we left this house what can make you in such a desperate hurry to get home You gape and fidget one would think you had never sat up a night before in your life I verily believe you are afraid to trust yourself with us Which of us are you afraid of Lawless or me or yourself There was a tone of contempt in the last words which piqued me to the quick and however strange it may seem I was now anxious only to convince Harriot that I was not afraid of myself False shame made me act as if I had no shame You would not suspect me of knowing any thing of false shame but depend upon it my dear many who appear to have as much assurance as I have are secretly its slaves I moralize because I am come to a part of my story which I should almost be glad to omit but I promised you that there should be no sins of omission It was light but not broad daylight when we got to Knightsbridge Lawless encouraged for I cannot deny it by the levity of my manner as well as of Harriots was in higher and more familiar spirits than I ever saw him Mrs Freke desired me to set her down at her sisters who lived in Grosvenorplace I did so and I beg you to believe that I was in an agony to get rid of my colonel at the same time but you know I could not before Harriot Freke absolutely say to him Get out Indeed to tell things as they were it was scarcely possible to guess by my manner that I was under any anxiety I acted my part so well or so ill As Harriot Freke jumped out of the coach a cock crowed in the area of her sisters house There cried Harriot do you hear the cock crow Lady Delacour Now its to be hoped your fear of goblins is over else I would not be so cruel as to leave the pretty dear all alone All alone answered I your friend the colonel Is much obliged to you for making nobody of him My friend the colonel whispered Harriot leaning with her bold masculine arms on the coach door—my friend the colonel is much obliged to me Im sure for remembering what the cunning or the knowing woman told us just now so when I said I left you alone I was not guilty of a bull was I I had the grace to be heartily ashamed of this speech and called out in utter confusion To Berkleysquare But where shall I set you down colonel Harriot good morning dont forget you are in mans clothes I did not dare to repeat the question of where shall I set you down colonel at this instant because Harriot gave me such an arch sneering look as much as to say Still afraid of yourself We drove on Im persuaded that the confusion which in spite of all my efforts broke through my affected levity encouraged Lawless who was naturally a coxcomb and a fool to believe that I was actually his else he never could have been so insolent In short my dear before we had got through the turnpike gate I was downright obliged to say to him Get out which I did with a degree of indignation that quite astonished him He muttered something about ladies knowing their minds and I own though I went off with flying colours I secretly blamed myself as much as I did him and I blamed Harriot more than I did either I sent for her the next day as soon as I could to consult her She expressed such astonishment and so much concern at this catastrophe of our nights frolic and blamed herself with so many oaths and execrated Lawless for a coxcomb so much to the ease and satisfaction of my conscience that I was confirmed in my good opinion of her and indeed felt for her the most lively affection and esteem for observe with me esteem ever followed affection instead of affection following esteem Woe be to all who in morals preposterously put the cart before the horse But to proceed with my history all fashionable historians stop to make reflections supposing that no one else can have the sense to make any My esteemed friend agreed with me that it would be best for all parties concerned to hush up this business that as Lawless was going out of town in a few days to be elected for a borough we should get rid of him in the best way possible without more last words that he had been punished sufficiently on the spot and that to punish twice for the same offence once in private and once in public would be contrary to the laws of Englishmen and Englishwomen and in my case would be contrary to the evident dictates of prudence because I could not complain without calling upon Lord Delacour to call Lawless out this I could not do without acknowledging that his lordship had been in the right in warning me about his honour and my own which old phrase I dreaded to hear for the ninetyninth time besides Lord Delacour was the last man in the world I should have chosen for my knight though unluckily he was my lord besides all things considered I thought the whole story might not tell so well in the world for me tell it which way I would we therefore agreed that it would be most expedient to hold our tongues We took it for granted that Lawless would hold his and as for my people they knew nothing I thought or if they did I was sure of them How the thing got abroad I could not at the time conceive though now I am well acquainted with the baseness and treachery of the woman I called my friend The affair was known and talked of every where the next day and the story was told especially at odious Mrs Luttridges with such exaggerations as drove me almost mad I was enraged inconceivably enraged with Lawless from whom I imagined the reports originated
I was venting my indignation against him in a room full of company where I had just made my story good when a gentleman to whom I was a stranger came in breathless with the news that Colonel Lawless was killed in a duel by Lord Delacour that they were carrying him home to his mothers and that the body was just going by the door The company all crowded to the windows immediately and I was left standing alone till I could stand no longer What was said or done after this I do not remember I only know that when I came to myself the most dreadful sensation I ever experienced was the certainty that I had the blood of a fellowcreature to answer for—I wonder said Lady Delacour breaking off at this part of her history and rising suddenly I wonder what is become of Marriott—surely it is time for me to have my drops Miss Portman have the goodness to ring for I must have something immediately Belinda was terrified at the wildness of her manner Lady Delacour became more composed or put more constraint upon herself at the sight of Marriott Marriott brought from the closet in her ladys room the drops which Lady Delacour swallowed with precipitation Then she ordered coffee and afterward chassecafé and at last turning to Belinda with a forced smile she said—
Now shall the Princess Scheherazade go on with her story
CHAPTER IV — LADY DELACOURS HISTORY CONTINUED
I Left off with the true skill of a good storyteller at the most interesting part—a duel and yet duels are so common now that they are really vulgar incidents
But we think that a duel concerning ourselves must be more extraordinary than any other We hear of men being shot in duels about nothing every day so it is really a weakness in me to think so much about poor Lawlesss death as Harriot Freke said to me at the time She expected to see me show sorrow in public but very fortunately for me she roused my pride which was always stronger than my reason and I behaved myself upon the occasion as became a fine lady There were some things however I could hardly stand You must know that Lawless fool and coxcomb as he was had some magnanimity and showed it—as some people do from whom it is least expected—on his deathbed The last words he said were Lady Delacour is innocent—I charge you dont prosecute Lord Delacour This he said to his mother who to complete my misery is one of the most respectable women in England and was most desperately fond of Lawless who was an only son She never has recovered his loss Do you remember asking me who a tall elderly lady in mourning was that you saw getting into her carriage one day at South Audleystreet chapel as we passed by in our way to the park That was Lady Lawless I believe I didnt answer you at the time I meet her every now and then—to me a spectre of dismay But as Harriot Freke said certainly such a man as poor Lawless was a useless being in society however he may be regretted by a doting mother We should see things in a philosophical light if we can I should not have suffered half as much as I did if he had been a man of a stronger understanding but he was a poor vain weak creature that I actually drew on and duped with my own coquetry whilst all the time I was endeavouring only to plague Lord Delacour I was punished enough by the airs his lordship doubly gave himself upon the strength of his valour and his judgment—they roused me completely and I blamed him with all my might and got an enormous party of my friends I mean my acquaintance to run him down full cry for having fought for me It was absurd—it was rash—it was want of proper confidence in his wife thus we said Lord Delacour had his partisans it is true amongst whom the loudest was odious Mrs Luttridge I embraced the first opportunity I met with of retaliation You must know that Mrs Luttridge besides being a great faroplayer was a great dabbler in politics for she was almost as fond of power as of money she talked loud and fluently and had somehow or other partly by intriguing partly by relationship connected herself with some of the leading men in parliament There was to be a contested election in our country Mr Luttridge had a good estate there next to Lord Delacours and being of an ancient family and keeping a good table the Luttridges were popular enough At the first news of an election out comes a flaming advertisement from Mr Luttridge away posted Mrs Luttridge to begin her canvass and away posted Lady Delacour after her to canvass for a cousin of Harriot Freke This was a new scene for me but I piqued myself on the versatility of my talents and I laid myself out in please all the squires and what was more difficult all the squires ladies in ——shire I was ambitious to have it said of me that I was the finest figure that ever appeared upon a canvass O ye ——shireians how hard did I work to obtain your praise All that the combined force of vanity and hatred could inspire I performed and with success You have but little curiosity I presume to know how many hogsheads of port went down the throat of John Bull or how many hecatombs were offered up to the genius of English liberty My hatred to Mrs Luttridge was of course called love of my country Lady Delacour was deified by all true patriots and luckily a handsome legacy left me for my spirit by an uncle who died six weeks before the election enabled us to sustain the expense of my apotheosis The day of election came Harriot Freke and I mad our appearance on the hustings dressed in splendid party uniforms and before us our knights and squires held two enormous panniers full of ribands and cockades which we distributed with a grace that won all hearts if not all votes Mrs Luttridge thought the panniers would carry the election and forthwith she sent off an express for a pair of panniers twice as large as ours I took out my pencil and drew a caricature of the ass and her panniers wrote an epigram at the bottom of it and the epigram and the caricature were soon in the hands of half ——shire The verses were as bad as impromptus usually are and the drawing was not much better than the writing but the goodwill of the critics supplied all my deficiencies and never was more praise bestowed upon the pen of Burke or the pencil of Reynolds than was lavished upon me by my honest friends My dear Belinda if you will not quarrel with the quality you may have what quantity of praise you please Mrs Luttridge as I hoped and expected was beyond measure enraged at the sight of the caricature and epigram She was besides being a gamester and a politician—what do you think—an excellent shot She wished she said to be a man that she might be qualified to take proper notice of my conduct The same kind friends who showed her my epigram repeated to me her observation upon it Harriot Freke was at my elbow and offered to take any message I might think proper to Mrs Luttridge I scarcely thought her in earnest till she added that the only way left nowadays for a woman to distinguish herself was by spirit as every thing else was grown cheap and vulgar in the eyes of men that she knew one of the cleverest young men in England and a man of fashion into the bargain who was just going to publish a treatise upon the Propriety and Necessity of Female Duelling and that he had demonstrated beyond a possibility of doubt that civilized society could not exist half a century longer without this necessary improvement I had prodigious deference for the masculine superiority as I thought it of Harriots understanding She was a philosopher and a fine lady—I was only a fine lady I had never fired a pistol in my life and I was a little inclined to cowardice but Harriot offered to bet any wager upon the steadiness of my hand and assured me that I should charm all beholders in male attire In short as my second if I would furnish her with proper credentials she swore she would undertake to furnish me with clothes and pistols and courage and every thing I wanted I sat down to pen my challenge When I was writing it my hand did not tremble much—not more than my Lord Delacours always does The challenge was very prettily worded I believe I can repeat it
Lady Delacour presents her compliments to Mrs Luttridge—she is informed that Mrs L—— wishes she were a man that she might be qualified to take proper notice of Lady D——s conduct Lady Delacour begs leave to assure Mrs Luttridge that though she has the misfortune to be a woman she is willing to account for her conduct in any manner Mrs L—— may think proper and at any hour and place she may appoint Lady D—— leaves the choice of the weapons to Mrs L—— Mrs II Freke who has the honour of presenting this note is Lady Delacours friend upon this occasion
I cannot repeat Mrs Luttridges answer all I know is it was not half as neatly worded as my note but the essential part of it was that she accepted my challenge with pleasure and should do herself the honour of meeting me at six oclock the next morning that Miss Honour OGrady would be her friend upon the occasion and that pistols were the weapons she preferred The place of appointment was behind an old barn about two miles from the town of —— The hour was fixed to be early in the morning to prevent all probability of interruption In the evening Harriot and I rode to the ground There were several bullets sticking in the posts of the barn this was the place where Mrs Luttridge had been accustomed to exercise herself in firing at a mark I own my courage oozed out a little at this sight The Duke de la Rochefoucault I believe said truly that many would be cowards if they dared There seemed to me to be no physical and less moral necessity for my fighting this duel but I did not venture to reason on a point of honour with my spirited second I bravadoed to Harriot most magnanimously but at night when Marriott was undressing me I could not forbear giving her a hint which I thought might tend to preserve the kings peace and the peace of the county I went to the ground in the morning in good spirits and with a safe conscience Harriot was in admiration of my lionport and to do her justice she conducted herself with great coolness upon the occasion but then it may be observed that it was I who was to stand fire and not she I thought of poor Lawless a billion of times at least as we were going to the ground and I had my presentiments and my confused notions of poetic justice but poetic justice and all other sorts of justice went clear out of my head when I saw my antagonist and her friend actually pistol in hand waiting for us they were both in mens clothes I secretly called upon the name of Marriott with fervency and I looked round with more anxiety than ever Bluebeards wife or Anne sister Anne looked to see if any body was coming nothing was to be seen but the grass blown by the wind—no Marriott to throw herself toute éplorée between the combatants—no peaceofficers to bind us over to our good behaviour—no deliverance at hand and Mrs Luttridge by all the laws of honour as challenged was to have the first shot Oh those laws of honour I was upon the point of making an apology in spite of them all when to my inexpressible joy I was relieved from the dreadful alternative of being shot through the head or of becoming a laughingstock for life by an incident less heroic Ill grant you than opportune But you shall have the whole scene as well as I can recollect it as well—for those who for the first time go into a field of battle do not as I am credibly informed and internally persuaded always find the clearness of their memories improved by the novelty of their situation Mrs Luttridge when we came up was leaning with a truly martial negligence against the wall of the barn with her pistol as I told you in her hand She spoke not a word but her second Miss Honour OGrady advanced towards us immediately and taking off her hat very manfully addressed herself to my second—Mistress Harriot Freke I presume if I mistake not Harriot bowed slightly and answered Miss Honour OGrady I presume if I mistake not The same at your service replied Miss Honour I have a few words to suggest that may save a great deal of noise and bloodshed and illwill As to noise said Harriot it is a thing in which I delight therefore I beg that maynt be spared on my account as to bloodshed I beg that may not be spared on Lady Delacours account for her honour I am sure is dearer to her than her blood and as to illwill I should be concerned to have that saved on Mrs Luttridges account as we all know it is a thing in which she delights even more than I do in noise or Lady Delacour in blood but pray proceed Miss Honour OGrady you have a few words to suggest Yes I would willingly observe as it is my duty to my principal said Honour that one who is compelled to fire her pistol with her left hand though ever so good a shot naturally is by no means on a footing with one who has the advantage of her light hand Harriot rubbed my pistol with the sleeve of her coat and I recovering my wit with my hopes of being witty with impunity answered Unquestionably lefthanded wisdom and lefthanded courage are neither of them the very best of their kinds but we must content ourselves with them if we can have no other That if cried Honour OGrady is not like most of the family of the ifs a peacemaker My Lady Delacour I was going to observe that my principal has met with an unfortunate accident in the shape of a whitlow on the forefinger of her right hand which incapacitates her from drawing a trigger but I am at your service ladies either of you that cant put up with a disappointment with good humour I never during the whole course of my existence was more disposed to bear a disappointment with good humour to prove that I was incapable of bearing malice and to oblige the seconds for forms sake I agreed that we should take our ground and fire our pistols into the air Mrs Luttridge with her lefthanded wisdom fired first and I with great magnanimity followed her example I must do my adversarys second Miss Honour OGrady the justice to observe that in this whole affair she conducted herself not only with the spirit but with the goodnature and generosity characteristic of her nation We met enemies and parted friends
Life is a tragicomedy Though the critics will allow of no such thing in their books it is a true representation of what passes in the world and of all lives mine has been the most grotesque mixture or alternation I should say of tragedy and comedy All this is apropos to something I have not told you yet This comic duel ended tragically for me How you say Why tis clear that I was not shot through the head but it would have been better a hundred times better for me if I had I should have been spared in this life at least the torments of the damned I was not used to priming and loading my pistol was overcharged when I fired it recoiled and I received a blow on my breast the consequences of which you have seen
The pain was nothing at the moment compared with what I have since experienced but I will not complain till I cannot avoid it I had not at the time I received the blow much leisure for lamentation for I had scarcely discharged my pistol when we heard a loud shout on the other side of the barn and a crowd of towns people country people and haymakers came pouring down the lane towards us with rakes and pitchforks in their hands An English mob is really a formidable thing Marriott had mismanaged her business most strangely she had indeed spread a report of a duel—a female duel but the untutored sense of propriety amongst these rustics was so shocked at the idea of a duel fought by women in mens clothes that I verily believe they would have thrown us into the river with all their hearts Stupid blockheads I am convinced that they would not have been half so much scandalized if we had boxed in petticoats The want of these petticoats had nearly proved our destruction or at least our disgrace a peeress after being ducked could never have held her head above water again with any grace The mob had just closed round us crying Shame shame shame—duck em—duck em—gentle or simple—duck em—duck em—when their attention was suddenly turned towards a person who was driving up the lane a large herd of squeaking grunting pigs The person was clad in splendid regimentals and he was armed with a long pole to the end of which hung a bladder and his pigs were frightened and they ran squeaking from one side of the road to the other and the pigdriver in regimentals in the midst of the noise could not without difficulty make his voice heard but at last he was understood to say that a bet of a hundred guineas depended upon his being able to keep these pigs ahead of a flock of turkeys that were following them and he begged the mob to give him and his pigs fair play At the news of this wager and at the sight of the gentleman turned pigdriver the mob were in raptures and at the sound of his voice Harriot Freke immediately exclaimed Clarence Hervey by all thats lucky
Clarence Hervey interrupted Belinda Clarence Hervey my dear said Lady Delacour coolly he can do every thing you know even drive pigs better than any body else—but let me go on
Harriot Freke shouted in a stentorian voice which actually made your pigdriver start she explained to him in French our distress and the cause of it Clarence was as I suppose you have discovered long ago that cleverest young man in England who had written on the propriety and necessity of female duelling He answered Harriot in French—To attempt your rescue by force would be vain but I will do better I will make a diversion in your favour Immediately our hero addressing himself to the sturdy fellow who held me in custody exclaimed Huzza my boys Old England for ever Yonder comes a Frenchman with a flock of turkeys My pigs will beat them for a hundred guineas Old England for ever huzza
As he spoke the French officer with whom Clarence Hervey had laid the wager appeared at the turn of the lane—his turkeys half flying—half hobbling up the road before him The Frenchman waved a red streamer over the heads of his flock—Clarence shook a pole from the top of which hung a bladder full of beans The pigs grunted the turkeys gobbled and the mob shouted eager for the fame of Old England the crowd followed Clarence with loud acclamations The French officer was followed with groans and hisses So great was the confusion and so great the zeal of the patriots that even the pleasure of ducking the female duellists was forgotten in the general enthusiasm All eyes and all hearts were intent upon the race and now the turkeys got foremost and now the pigs But when we came within sight of the horsepond I heard one man cry Dont forget the ducking How I trembled but our knight shouted to his followers—For the love of Old England my brave boys keep between my pigs and the pond—if our pigs see the water theyll run to it and Englands undone
The whole fury of the mob was by this speech conducted away from us On on my boys into town to the marketplace whoever gains the marketplace first wins the day Our general shook the rattling bladder in triumph over the heads of the swinish multitude and we followed in perfect security in his train into the town
Men women and children crowded to the windows and doors Retreat into the first place you can whispered Clarence to us we were close to him Harriot Freke pushed her way into a milliners shop I could not get in after her for a frightened pig turned back suddenly and almost threw me down Clarence Hervey caught me and favoured my retreat into the shop But poor Clarence lost his bet by his gallantry Whilst he was manoeuvring in my favour the turkeys got several yards ahead of the pigs and reaching the marketplace first won the race
The French officer found great difficulty in getting safe out of the town but Clarence represented to the mob that he was a prisoner on his parole and that it would be unlike Englishmen to insult a prisoner So he got off without being pelted and they both returned in safety to the house of General Y—— where they were to dine and where they entertained a large party of officers with the account of this adventure
Mrs Freke and I rejoiced in our escape and we thought that the whole business was now over but in this we were mistaken The news of our duel which had spread in the town raised such an uproar as had never been heard even at the noisiest election Would you believe it—The fate of the election turned upon this duel The common people one and all declared that they would not vote either for Mr Luttridge or Mr Freke because as how—but I need not repeat all the platitudes that they said In short neither ribands nor brandy could bring them to reason With true English pigheadedness they went every man of them and polled for an independent candidate of their own choosing whose wife forsooth was a proper behaved woman
The only thing I had to console me for all this was Clarence Herveys opinion that I looked better in mans clothes than my friend Harriot Freke Clarence was charmed with my spirit and grace but he had not leisure at that time to attach himself seriously to me or to any thing He was then about nineteen or twenty he was all vivacity presumption and paradox he was enthusiastic in support of his opinions but he was at the same time the most candid man in the world for there was no set of tenets which could be called exclusively his he adopted in liberal rotation every possible absurdity and to do him justice defended each in its turn with the most ingenious arguments that could be devised and with a flow of words which charmed the ear if not the sense His essay on female duelling was a most extraordinary performance it was handed about in manuscript till it was worn out he talked of publishing it and dedicating it to me However this scheme amongst a million of others he talked of but never put into execution Luckily for him many of his follies evaporated in words I saw but little either of him or his follies at this time All I know about him is that after he had lost his bet of a hundred guineas as a pigdriver by his knighterrantry in rescuing the female duellists from a mob he wrote a very charming copy of verses upon the occasion and that he was so much provoked by the stupidity of some of his brother officers who could not understand the verses that he took a disgust to the army and sold his commission He set out upon a tour to the continent and I returned with Harriot Freke to London and forgot the existence of such a person as Clarence Hervey for three or four years Unless people can be of some use or unless they are actually present let them be ever so agreeable or meritorious we are very apt to forget them One grows strangely selfish by living in the world tis a perfect cure for romantic notions of gratitude and love and so forth If I had lived in the country in an old manorhouse Clarence Hervey would have doubtless reigned paramount in my imagination as the deliverer of my life c But in London one has no time for thinking of deliverers And yet what I did with my time I cannot tell you tis gone and no trace left One day after another went I know not how Had I wept for every day I lost Im sure I should have cried my eyes out before this time If I had enjoyed any amusement in the midst of this dissipation it would all have been very well but I declare to you in confidence I have been tired to death Nothing can be more monotonous than the life of a hackneyed fine lady—I question whether a drayhorse or—a horse in a mill would willingly exchange places with one if they could know as much of the matter as I do You are surprised at hearing all this from me My dear Belinda how I envy you You are not yet tired of every thing The world has still the gloss of novelty for you but dont expect that can last above a season My first winter was certainly entertaining enough One begins with being charmed with the bustle and glare and what the French call spectacle this is over I think in six months I can but just recollect having been amused at the Theatres and the Opera and the Pantheon and Ranelagh and all those places for their own sakes Soon very soon we go out to see people not things then we grow tired of seeing people then we grow tired of being seen by people and then we go out merely because we cant stay at home A dismal story and a true one Excuse me for showing you the simple truth welldressed falsehood is a personage much more presentable I am now come to an epoch in my history in which there is a dearth of extraordinary events What shall I do Shall I invent I would if I could but I cannot Then I must confess to you that during these last four years I should have died of ennui if I had not been kept alive by my hatred of Mrs Luttridge and of my husband I dont know which I hate most—O yes I do—I certainly hate Mrs Luttridge the most for a woman can always hate a woman more than she can hate a man unless she has been in love with him which I never was with poor Lord Delacour Yes I certainly hate Mrs Luttridge the most I cannot count the number of extravagant things I have done on purpose to eclipse her We have had rival routs rival concerts rival galas rival theatres she has cost me more than shes worth but then I certainly have mortified her once a month at least My hatred to Mrs Luttridge my dear is the remote cause of my love for you for it was the cause of my intimacy with your aunt Stanhope—Mrs Stanhope is really a clever woman—she knows how to turn the hatred of all her friends and acquaintance to her own advantage—To serve lovers is a thankless office compared with that of serving haters—polite haters I mean It may be dangerous for aught I know to interpose in the quarrels of those who hate their neighbours not only with all their souls but with all their strength—the barbarians fight it out kiss and are friends The quarrels which never come to blows are safer for a gobetween but even these are not to be compared to such as never come to words your true silent hatred is that which lasts for ever The moment it was known that Mrs Luttridge and I had come to the resolution never to speak to one another your aunt Stanhope began to minister to my hatred so that she made herself quite agreeable She one winter gave me notice that my adversary had set her heart upon having a magnificent entertainment on a particular day On that day I determined of course to have a rival gala Mrs Stanhopes maid had a lover a gardener who lived at Chelsea and the gardener had an aloe which was expected soon to blow Now a plant that blows but once in a hundred years is worth having The gardener intended to make a public exhibition of it by which he expected to gain about a hundred guineas Your aunt Stanhopes maid got it from him for me for fifty and I had it whispered about that an aloe in full blow would stand in the middle of one of Lady Delacours supper tables The difficulty was to make Mrs Luttridge fix upon the very day we wanted for you know we could not possibly put off the blowing of our aloe Your aunt Stanhope managed the thing admirably by means of a common friend who was not a suspected person with the Luttridges in short my dear I gained my point—every body came from Mrs Luttridges to me or to my aloe She had a prodigiously fine supper but scarcely a soul stayed with her they all came to see what could be seen but once in a hundred years Now the aloe you know is of a cumbersome height for a supper ornament My saloon luckily has a dome and under the dome we placed it Round the huge china vase in which it was planted we placed the most beautiful or rather the most expensive hothouse plants we could procure After all the aloe was an ugly thing but it answered my purpose—it made Mrs Luttridge as I am credibly informed absolutely weep with vexation I was excessively obliged to your aunt Stanhope and I assured her that if ever it were in my power she might depend upon my gratitude Pray when you write repeat the same thing to her and tell her that since she has introduced Belinda Portman to me I am a hundred times more obliged to her than ever I was before
But to proceed with my important history—I will not tire you with fighting over again all my battles in my seven years war with Mrs Luttridge I believe love is more to your taste than hatred therefore I will go on as fast as possible to Clarence Herveys return from his travels He was much improved by them or at least I thought so for he was heard to declare that after all he had seen in France and Italy Lady Delacour appeared to him the most charming woman of her age in Europe The words of her age piqued me and I spared no pains to make him forget them A stupid man cannot readily be persuaded out of his senses—what he sees he sees and neither more nor less but tis the easiest thing in the world to catch hold of a man of genius you have nothing to do but to appeal from his senses to his imagination and then he sees with the eyes of his imagination and hears with the ears of his imagination and then no matter what the age beauty or wit of the charmer may be—no matter whether it be Lady Delacour or Belinda Portman I think I know Clarence Herveys character au fin fond and I could lead him where I pleased but dont be alarmed my dear you know I cant lead him into matrimony You look at me and from me and you dont well know which way to look You are surprised perhaps after all that passed all that I felt and all that I still feel about poor Lawless I should not be cured of coquetry So am I surprised but habit fashion the devil I believe lead us on and then Lord Delacour is so obstinate and jealous—you cant have forgotten the polite conversation that passed one morning at breakfast between his lordship and me about Clarence Hervey but neither does his lordship know nor does Clarence Hervey suspect that my object with him is to conceal from the world what I cannot conceal from myself—that I am a dying woman I am and I see you think me a strange weak inconsistent creature I was intended for something better but now it is too late a coquette I have lived and a coquette I shall die I speak frankly to you Let me have the glory of leading Clarence Hervey about with me in public for a few months longer then I must quit the stage As to love you know with me that is out of the question all I ask or wish for is admiration
Lady Delacour paused and leaned back on the sofa she appeared in great pain
Oh—I am sometimes resumed she as you see in terrible pain For two years after I gave myself that blow with the pistol I neglected the warning twinges that I felt from time to time at last I was terrified Marriott was the only person to whom I mentioned my fears and she was profoundly ignorant she flattered me with false hopes till alas it was in vain to doubt of the nature of my complaint then she urged me to consult a physician that I would not do—I could not—I never will consult a physician—I would not for the universe have my situation known You stare—you cannot enter into my feelings Why my dear if I lose admiration what have I left Would you have me live upon pity Consider what a dreadful thing it must be to me who have no friends no family to be confined to a sick room—a sick bed tis what I must come to at last but not yet—not yet I have fortitude I should despise myself if I had no species of merit besides it is still some occupation to me to act my part in public and bustle noise nonsense if they do not amuse or interest me yet they stifle reflection May you never know what it is to feel remorse The idea of that poor wretch Lawless whom I actually murdered as much as if I had shot him haunts me whenever I am alone It is now between eight and nine years since he died and I have lived ever since in a constant course of dissipation but it wont do—conscience conscience will be heard Since my health has been weakened I believe I have acquired more conscience I really think that my stupid lord who has neither ideas nor sensations except when he is intoxicated is a hundred times happier than I am But I will spare you Belinda I promised that you should not have a scene and I will keep my word It is however a great relief to open my mind to one who has some feeling Harriot Freke has none I am convinced that she has no more feeling than this table I have not yet told you how she has used me You know that it was she who led or rather dragged me into that scrape with Lawless for that I never reproached her You know it was she who frightened me into fighting that duel with Mrs Luttridge for this I never reproached her She has cost me my peace of mind my health my life she knows it and she forsakes betrays insults and leaves me to die I cannot command my temper sufficiently to be coherent when I speak of her I cannot express in words what I feel How could that most treacherous of beings for ten years make me believe that she was my friend Whilst I thought she really loved me I pardoned her all her faults—all—what a comprehensive word—All all I forgave and continually said—but she has a good heart A good heart—she has no heart—she has no feeling for any living creature but herself I always thought that she cared for no one but for me but now I find she can throw me off as easily as she would her glove And this too I suppose she calls a frolic or in her own vulgar language fun Can you believe it—What do you think she has done my dear She has gone over at last to odious Mrs Luttridgeactually she has gone down with the Luttridges to——shire The independent member having taken the Chiltern Hundreds vacates his seat a new election comes on directly the Luttridges are to bring in Freke—not Harriots cousin—they have cut him—but her husband who is now to commence senator he is to come in for the county upon condition that Luttridge shall have Frekes borough Lord Delacour without saying one syllable has promised his interest to this precious junto and Lady Delacour is left a miserable cipher My lords motives I can clearly understand he lost a thousand guineas to Mrs Luttridge this winter and this is a convenient way of paying her Why Harriot should be so anxious to serve a husband whom she hates bitterly hates might surprise any body who did not know les dessous des cartes as well as I do You are but just come into the world Belinda—the world of wickedness I mean my dear or you would have heard what a piece of work there was a few years ago about Harriot Freke and this cousin of hers Without betraying her confidence I may just tell you what is known to every body that she went so far that if it had not been for me not a soul would have visited her she swam in the sea of folly out of her depth—the tide of fashion ebbed and there was she left sticking knee deep in the mud—a ridiculous scandalous figure I had the courage and foolish goodnature to hazard myself for her and actually dragged her to terra firma—how she has gone on since I cannot tell you precisely because I am in the secret but the catastrophe is public to make her peace with her husband she gives up her friend Well that I could have pardoned if she had not been so base as to go over to Mrs Luttridge Mrs Luttridge offered Ive seen the letter and Harriots answer to bring in Freke the husband and to make both a county and a family peace on condition that Harriot should give up all connexion with Lady Delacour Mrs Luttridge knew this would provoke me beyond measure and there is nothing she would not do to gratify her mean malevolent passions She has succeeded for once in her life The blame of the duel of course is all thrown upon me And would you believe it Harriot Freke I am credibly informed throws all the blame of Lawlesss business on me nay hints that Lawlesss deathbed declaration of my innocence was very generous Oh the treachery the baseness of this woman And it was my fate to hear all this last night at the masquerade I waited and waited and looked every where for Harriot—she was to be the widow Brady I knew at last the widow Brady made her appearance and I accosted her with all my usual familiarity The widow was dumb I insisted upon knowing the cause of this sudden loss of speech The widow took me into another apartment unmasked and there I beheld Mr Freke the husband I was astonished—had no idea of the truth Where is Harriot I believe were the first words I said Gone to the country To the country Yes to——shire with Mrs Luttridge—Mrs Luttridge—odious Mrs Luttridge I could scarcely believe my senses But Freke who always hated me believing that I led his wife instead of her leading me into mischief would have enjoyed my astonishment and my rage so I concealed both with all possible presence of mind He went on overwhelming me with explanations and copies of letters and declared it was at Mrs Frekes request he did and said all this and that he was to follow her early the next morning to ——shire I broke from him simply wishing him a good journey and as much family peace as his patience merited He knows that I know his wifes history and though she has no shame he has some I had the satisfaction to leave him blushing with anger and I supported the character of the comic muse a full hour afterwards to convince him that all their combined malice would fail to break my spirit in public what I suffer in private is known only to my own heart
As she finished these words Lady Delacour rose abruptly and hummed a new opera air Then she retired to her boudoir saying with an air of levity to Belinda as she left the room
Good bye my dear Belinda I leave you to ruminate sweet and bitter thoughts to think of the last speech and confession of Lady Delacour or what will interest you much more the first speech and confession of—Clarence Hervey
CHAPTER V — BIRTHDAY DRESSES
Lady Delacours history and the manner in which it was related excited in Belindas mind astonishment pity admiration and contempt astonishment at her inconsistency pity for her misfortunes admiration of her talents and contempt for her conduct To these emotions succeeded the recollection of the promise which she had made not to leave her in her last illness at the mercy of an insolent attendant This promise Belinda thought of with terror she dreaded the sight of sufferings which she knew must end in death she dreaded the sight of that affected gaiety and of that real levity which so ill became the condition of a dying woman She trembled at the idea of being under the guidance of one who was so little able to conduct herself and she could not help blaming her aunt Stanhope severely for placing her in such a perilous situation It was obvious that some of Lady Delacours history must have been known to Mrs Stanhope and Belinda the more she reflected was the more surprised at her aunts having chosen such a chaperon for a young woman just entering into the world When the understanding is suddenly roused and forced to exert itself what a multitude of deductions it makes in a short time Belinda saw things in a new light and for the first time in her life she reasoned for herself upon what she saw and felt It is sometimes safer for young people to see than to hear of certain characters At a distance Lady Delacour had appeared to Miss Portman the happiest person in the world upon a nearer view she discovered that her ladyship was one of the most miserable of human beings To have married her niece to such a man as Lord Delacour Mrs Stanhope would have thought the most fortunate thing imaginable but it was now obvious to Belinda that neither the title of viscountess nor the pleasure of spending three fortunes could ensure felicity Lady Delacour confessed that in the midst of the utmost luxury and dissipation she had been a constant prey to ennui that the want of domestic happiness could never be supplied by that public admiration of which she was so ambitious and that the immoderate indulgence of her vanity had led her by inevitable steps into follies and imprudences which had ruined her health and destroyed her peace of mind If Lady Delacour with all the advantages of wealth rank wit and beauty has not been able to make herself happy in this life of fashionable dissipation said Belinda to herself why should I follow the same course and expect to be more fortunate
It is singular that the very means which Mrs Stanhope had taken to make a fine lady of her niece tended to produce an effect diametrically opposite to what might have been expected The result of Belindas reflections upon Lady Delacours history was a resolution to benefit by her bad example but this resolution it was more easy to form than to keep Her ladyship where she wished to please or to govern had fascinating manners and could alternately use the sarcastic powers of wit and the fond tone of persuasion to accomplish her purposes It was Belindas intention in pursuance of her new plans of life to spend whilst she remained in London as little money as possible upon superfluities and dress She had at her own disposal only 100l per annum the interest of her fortune but besides this her aunt who was desirous that she should go to court and make a splendid figure there had sent her a draught on her banker for two hundred guineas You will I trust said her aunt at the conclusion of the letter repay me when you are established in the world as I hope and believe from what I hear from Lady Delacour of the power of your charms you will soon be to the entire satisfaction of all your friends Pray do not neglect to mention my friend Clarence Hervey particularly when you write next I understand from one who is well acquainted with him and who has actually seen his rentroll that he has a clear 10000l a year
Belinda resolved neither to go to court nor to touch her aunts two hundred guineas and she wrote a long letter to her in which she explained her feelings and views at large In this letter she meant to have returned Mrs Stanhopes draught but her feelings and views changed between the writing of this epistle and the going out of the post Mrs Franks the milliner came in the interim and brought home Lady Delacours beautiful dress it was not the sight of this however which changed Belindas mind but she could not resist Lady Delacours raillery
Why my dear said her ladyship after having listened to all Miss Portman could say about her love of independence and the necessity of economy to preserve that independence all this is prodigiously fine—but shall I translate it into plain English You were mortally wounded the other night by some random reflections of a set of foolish young men—Clarence Hervey amongst the number and instead of punishing them you sagely and generously determined to punish yourself Then to convince this youth that you have not a thought of those odious nets and cages that you have no design whatever upon his heart and that he has no manner of influence on yours you very judiciously determine at the first hint from him to change your dress your manners and your character and thus to say to him in as plain terms as possible—You see sir a word to the wise is enough I understand you disapprove of showy dress and coquetry and therefore as I dressed and coquetted only to please you now I shall lay aside dress and coquetry since I find that they are not to your taste—and I hope sir you like my simplicity Depend upon it my dear Clarence Hervey understands simplicity as well as you or I do All this would be vastly well if he did not know that you overheard that conversation but as he does know it trust me he will attribute any sudden change in your manners and appearance right or wrong to the motives I have mentioned So dont novice as you are set about to manoeuvre for yourself Leave all that to your aunt Stanhope or to me and then you know your conscience will be all the time as white as your hands—which bythebye Clarence Hervey the other day said were the whitest hands he had ever seen Perhaps all this time you have taken it into your head that full dress will not become you but I assure you that it will—you look well in any thing—
But from the hoops bewitching round
The very shoe has power to wound
So come down to Mrs Franks and order your birthnight dress like a reasonable creature
Like a reasonable creature Miss Portman followed Lady Delacour and bespoke or rather let her ladyship bespeak for her fifty guineas worth of elegance and fashion You must go to the drawingroom with me next week and be presented said Lady Delacour and then as it is the first time you must be elegantly dressed and you must not wear the same dress on the birthnight So Mrs Franks let this be finished first as fast as you can and by that time perhaps we shall think of something superlatively charming for the night of nights
Mrs Franks departed and Belinda sighed A silver penny for your thoughts cried Lady Delacour You are thinking that you are like Camilla and I like Mrs Mitten Novel reading—as I dare say you have been told by your governess as I was told by mine and she by hers I suppose—novel reading for young ladies is the most dangerous——
Oh Clarence Hervey I protest cried Lady Delacour as he at this instant entered the room Do pray Clarence help me out for the sake of this young lady with a moral sentence against novel reading but that might go against your conscience or your interest so well spare you How I regret that we had not the charming serpent at the masquerade the other night
The moment her ladyship mentioned the masquerade the conversation which had passed at Lady Singletons came full into Clarence Herveys recollection and his embarrassment was evident—not indeed to Belinda who had turned away to look over some new music that lay upon a stand at the farthest end of the room and she found this such a wonderfully interesting occupation that she did not for some minutes hear or appear to hear one word of the conversation which was going on between Mr Hervey and Lady Delacour At last her ladyship tapped her upon the shoulder saying in a playful tone Miss Portman I arrest your attention at the suit of Clarence Hervey this gentleman is passionately fond of music—to my curse—for he never sees my harp but he worries me with reproaches for having left off playing upon it Now he has just given me his word that he will not reproach me again for a month to come if you will favour us with one air I assure you Clarence that Belinda touches a harp divinely—she would absolutely charm—— Your ladyship should not waste such valuable praise interrupted Belinda Do you forget that Belinda Portman and her accomplishments have already been as well advertised as Packwoods razorstrops
The manner in which these words were pronounced made a great impression upon Clarence Hervey and he began to believe it was possible that a niece of the matchmaking Mrs Stanhope might not be a compound of art and affectation Though her aunt has advertised her said he to himself she seems to have too much dignity to advertise herself and it would be very unjust to blame her for the faults of another person I will see more of her
Some morning visitors were announced who for the time suspended Clarence Herveys reflections the effect of them however immediately appeared for as his good opinion of Belinda increased his ambition to please her was strongly excited He displayed all his powers of wit and humour and not only Lady Delacour but every body present observed that Mr Hervey who was always the most entertaining man in the world this morning surpassed himself and was absolutely the most entertaining man in the universe He was mortified notwithstanding for he distinctly perceived that whilst Belinda joined with ease and dignity in the general conversation her manner towards him was grave and reserved The next morning he called earlier than usual but though Lady Delacour was always at home to him she was then unluckily dressing to go to court he inquired whether Miss Portman would accompany her ladyship and he learnt from his friend Marriott that she was not to be presented this day because Mrs Franks had not brought home her dress Mr Hervey called again two hours afterwards—Lady Delacour was gone to court He asked for Miss Portman Not at home was the mortifying answer though as he had passed by the windows he had heard the delightful sound of her harp He walked up and down in the square impatiently till he saw Lady Delacours carriage appear
The drawingroom has lasted an unconscionable time this morning said he as he handed her ladyship out of her coach Am not I the most virtuous of virtuous women said Lady Delacour to go to court such a day as this But whispered she as she went up stairs like all other amazingly good people I have amazingly good reasons for being good The queen is soon to give a charming breakfast at Frogmore and I am paying my court with all my might in hopes of being asked for Belinda must see one of their galas before we leave town that Im determined upon—But where is she Not at home said Clarence smiling Oh not at home is nonsense you know Shine out appear be found my lovely Zara cried Lady Delacour opening the library door Here she is—what doing I know not—studying Herveys Meditations on the Tombs I should guess by the sanctification of her looks If you be not totally above all sublunary considerations admire my lilies of the valley and let me give you a lecture not upon heads or upon hearts but on what is of much more consequence upon hoops Every body wears hoops but how few—tis a melancholy consideration—how very few can manage them Theres my friend Lady C—— in an elegant undress she passes for very genteel but put her into a hoop and she looks as pitiable a figure as much a prisoner and as little able to walk as a child in a gocart She gets on I grant you and so does the poor child but getting on you know is not walking Oh Clarence I wish you had seen the two Lady Rs sticking close to one another their father pushing them on together like two decanters in a bottlecoaster with such magnificent diamond labels round their necks
Encouraged by Clarence Herveys laughter Lady Delacour went on to mimic what she called the hoop awkwardness of all her acquaintance and if these could have failed to divert Belinda it was impossible for her to be serious when she heard Clarence Hervey declare that he was convinced he could manage a hoop as well as any woman in England except Lady Delacour
Now here said he is the purblind dowager Lady Boucher just at the door Lady Delacour she would not know my face she would not see my beard and I will bet fifty guineas that I come into a room in a hoop and that she does not find me out by my air—that I do not betray myself in short by my masculine awkwardness
I hold you to your word Clarence cried Lady Delacour They have let the purblind dowager in I hear her on the stairs Here—through this way you can go as you do every thing quicker than any body else in the world you will certainly be full dressed in a quarter of an hour Ill engage to keep the dowager in scandal for that time Go Marriott has old hoops and old finery of mine and you have allpowerful influence I know with Marriott so go and use it and let us see you in all your glory—though I vow I tremble for my fifty guineas
Lady Delacour kept the dowager in scandal according to her engagement for a good quarter of an hour then the dresses at the drawingroom took up another quarter and at last the dowager began to give an account of sundry wonderful cures that had been performed to her certain knowledge by her favourite concentrated extract or anima of quassia She entered into the history of the negro slave named Quassi who discovered this medical wood which he kept a close secret till Mr Daghlberg a magistrate of Surinam wormed it out of him brought a branch of the tree to Europe and communicated it to the great Linnaeus—when Clarence Hervey was announced by the title of The Countess de Pomenars
An émigrée—a charming woman whispered Lady Delacour she was to have been at the drawingroom today but for a blunder of mine ready dressed she was and I didnt call for her Ah Mad de Pomenars I am actually ashamed to see you continued her ladyship and she went forward to meet Clarence Hervey who really made his entrée with very composed assurance and grace He managed his hoop with such skill and dexterity that he well deserved the praise of being a universal genius The Countess de Pomenars spoke French and broken English incomparably well and she made out that she was descended from the Pomenars of the time of Mad de Sevigné she said that she had in her possession several original letters of Mad de Sevigné and a lock of Mad de Grignans fine hair
I have sometimes fancied but I believe it is only my fancy said Lady Delacour that this young lady turning to Belinda is not unlike your Mad de Grignan I have seen a picture of her at Strawberryhill
Mad de Pomenars acknowledged that there was a resemblance but added that it was flattery in the extreme to Mad de Grignan to say so
It would be a sin undoubtedly to waste flattery upon the dead my dear countess said Lady Delacour but here without flattery to the living as you have a lock of Mad de Grignans hair you can tell us whether la belle chevelure of which Mad de Sevigné talked so much was any thing to be compared to my Belindas As she spoke Lady Delacour before Belinda was aware of her intentions dexterously let down her beautiful tresses and the Countess de Pomenars was so much struck at the sight that she was incapable of paying the necessary compliments Nay touch it said Lady Delacour—it is so fine and so soft
At this dangerous moment her ladyship artfully let drop the comb Clarence Hervey suddenly stooped to pick it up totally forgetting his hoop and his character He threw down the musicstand with his hoop Lady Delacour exclaimed Bravissima and burst out alaughing Lady Boucher in amazement looked from one to another for an explanation and was a considerable time before as she said she could believe her own eyes Clarence Hervey acknowledged he had lost his bet joined in the laugh and declared that fifty guineas was too little to pay for the sight of the finest hair that he had ever beheld I declare he deserves a lock of la belle chevelure for that speech Miss Portman cried Lady Delacour Ill appeal to all the world—Mad de Pomenars must have a lock to measure with Mad de Grignans Come a second rape of the lock Belinda
Fortunately for Belinda the glittering forfex was not immediately produced as fine ladies do not now as in former times carry any such useless implements about with them
Such was the modest graceful dignity of Miss Portmans manners that she escaped without even the charge of prudery She retired to her own apartment as soon as she could
She passes on in unblenched majesty said Lady Delacour
She is really a charming woman said Clarence Hervey in a low voice to Lady Delacour drawing her into a recessed window he in the same low voice continued Could I obtain a private audience of a few minutes when your ladyship is at leisure—I have— I am never at leisure interrupted Lady Delacour but if you have any thing particular to say to meas I guess you have by my skill in human nature—come here to my concert tonight before the rest of the world Wait patiently in the musicroom and perhaps I may grant you a private audience as you had the grace not to call it a têteàtête In the mean time my dear Countess de Pomenars had we not better take off our hoops In the evening Clarence Hervey was in the musicroom a considerable time before Lady Delacour appeared how patiently he waited is not known to any one but himself
Have not I given you time to compose a charming speech said Lady Delacour as she entered the room but make it as short as you can unless you wish that Miss Portman should hear it for she will be down stairs in three minutes
In one word then my dear Lady Delacour can you and will you make my peace with Miss Portman—I am much concerned about that foolish razorstrop dialogue which she overheard at Lady Singletons
You are concerned that she overheard it no doubt
No said Clarence Hervey I am rejoiced that she overheard it since it has been the means of convincing me of my mistake but I am concerned that I had the presumption and injustice to judge of Miss Portman so hastily I am convinced that though she is a niece of Mrs Stanhopes she has dignity of mind and simplicity of character Will you my dear Lady Delacour tell her so
Stay interrupted Lady Delacour let me get it by heart I should have made a terrible bad messenger of the gods and goddesses for I never in my life could like Iris repeat a message in the same words in which it was delivered to me Let me see—Dignity of mind and simplicity of character was not it May not I say at once My dear Belinda Clarence Hervey desires me to tell you that he is convinced you are an angel That single word angel is so expressive so comprehensive so comprehensible it contains believe me all that can be said or imagined on these occasions de part et dautre
But said Mr Hervey perhaps Miss Portman has heard the song of—
What know we of angels— I spake it in jest
Then you are not in jest but in downright sober earnest—Ha said Lady Delacour with an arch look I did not know it was already come to this with you
And her ladyship turning to her pianoforte played—
There was a young man in Ballinacrasy
Who wanted a wife to make him unasy
And thus in gentle strains he spoke her
Arrah will you marry me my dear Ally Croker
No no exclaimed Clarence laughing it is not come to that with me yet Lady Delacour I promise you but is not it possible to say that a young lady has dignity of mind and simplicity of character without having or suggesting any thoughts of marriage
You make a most proper but not sufficiently emphatic difference between having or suggesting such thoughts said Lady Delacour A gentleman sometimes finds it for his interest his honour or his pleasure to suggest what he would not for the world promise—I mean perform
A scoundrel cried Clarence Hervey not a gentleman may find it for his honour or his interest or his pleasure to promise what he would not perform but I am not a scoundrel I never made any promise to man or woman that I did not keep faithfully I am not a swindler in love
And yet said Lady Delacour you would have no scruple to trifle or flatter a woman out of her heart
Cela est selon said Clarence smiling a fair exchange you know is no robbery When a fine woman robs me of my heart surely Lady Delacour could not expect that I should make no attempt upon hers—Is this part of my message to Miss Portman said Lady Delacour As your ladyship pleases said Clarence I trust entirely to your discretion
Why I really have a great deal of discretion said Lady Delacour but you trust too much to it when you expect that I should execute both with propriety and success the delicate commission of telling a young lady who is under my protection that a young gentleman who is a professed admirer of mine is in love with her but has no thoughts and wishes to suggest no thoughts of marriage
In love exclaimed Clarence Hervey but when did I ever use the expression In speaking of Miss Portman I simply expressed esteem and ad————
No additions said Lady Delacour content yourself with esteem—simply—and Miss Portman is safe and you too I presume Apropos pray Clarence how do your esteem and admiration I may go as far as that may not I of Miss Portman agree with your admiration of Lady Delacour
Perfectly well replied Clarence for all the world must be sensible that Clarence Hervey is a man of too much taste to compare a country novice in wit and accomplishments to Lady Delacour He might as men of genius sometimes do look forward to the idea of forming a country novice for a wife A man must marry some time or other—but my hour thank Heaven is not come yet
Thank Heaven said Lady Delacour for you know a married man is lost to the world of fashion and gallantry
Not more so I should hope than a married woman said Clarence Harvey Here a loud knocking at the door announced the arrival of company to the concert You will make my peace you promise me with Miss Portman cried Clarence eagerly
Yes I will make your peace and you shall see Belinda smile upon you once more upon condition continued Lady Delacour speaking very quickly as if she was hurried by the sound of people coming up stairs—but well talk of that another time
Nay nay my dear Lady Delacour now now said Clarence seizing her hand—Upon condition upon what condition
Upon condition that you do a little job for me—indeed for Belinda She is to go with me to the birthnight and she has often hinted to me that our horses are shockingly shabby for people of our condition I know she wishes that upon such an occasion—her first appearance at court you know—we should go in style Now my dear positive lord has said he will not let us have a pair of the handsomest horses I ever saw which are at Tattersals and on which Belinda I know has secretly set her heart as I have openly in vain
Your ladyship and Miss Portman cannot possibly set your hearts on any thing in vain—especially on any thing that it is in the power of Clarence Hervey to procure Then added he gallantly kissing her hand may I thus seal my treaty of peace
What audacity—dont you see these people coming in cried Lady Delacour and she withdrew her hand but with no great precipitation She was evidently at this moment as in all the past neither afraid nor ashamed that Mr Herveys devotions to her should be paid in public With much address she had satisfied herself as to his views with respect to Belinda She was convinced that he had no immediate thoughts of matrimony but that if he were condemned to marry Miss Portman would be his wife As this did not interfere with her plans Lady Delacour was content
CHAPTER VI — WAYS AND MEANS
When Lady Delacour repeated to Miss Portman the message about simplicity of mind and dignity of character she frankly said—
Belinda notwithstanding all this observe Im determined to retain Clarence Hervey among the number of my public worshippers during my life—which you know cannot last long After I am gone my dear hell be all your own and of that I give you joy Posthumous fame is a silly thing but posthumous jealousy detestable
There was one part of the conversation between Mr Hervey and her ladyship which she in her great discretion did not immediately repeat to Miss Portman—that part which related to the horses In this transaction Belinda had no farther share than having once when her ladyship had the handsome horses brought for her to look at assented to the opinion that they were the handsomest horses she ever beheld Mr Hervey however gallantly he replied to her ladyship was secretly vexed to find that Belinda had so little delicacy as to permit her name to be employed in such a manner He repented having used the improper expression of dignity of mind and he relapsed into his former opinion of Mrs Stanhopes niece A relapse is always more dangerous than the first disease He sent home the horses to Lady Delacour the next day and addressed Belinda when he met her with the air of a man of gallantry who thought that his peace had been cheaply made But in proportion as his manners became more familiar hers grew more reserved Lady Delacour rallied her upon her prudery but in vain Clarence Hervey seemed to think that her ladyship had not fulfilled her part of the bargain—Is not smiling said he the epithet always applied to peace yet I have not been able to obtain one smile from Miss Portman since I have been promised peace Embarrassed by Mr Herveys reproaches and provoked to find that Belinda was proof against all her raillery Lady Delacour grew quite illhumoured towards her Belinda unconscious of having given any just cause of offence was unmoved and her ladyships embarrassment increased At last resuming all her former appearance of friendship and confidence she suddenly exclaimed one night after she had flattered Belinda into high spirits—
Do you know my dear that I have been so ashamed of ashamed of myself for this week past that I have hardly dared to look you in the face I am sensible I was downright rude and cross to you one day and ever since I have been penitent and as all penitents are very stupid and disagreeable I am sure but tell me you forgive my caprice and Lady Delacour will be herself again
It was not difficult to obtain Belindas forgiveness
Indeed continued Lady Delacour you are too good but then in my own justification I must say that I have more things to make me illhumoured than most people have Now my dear that most obstinate of human beings Lord Delacour has reduced me to the most terrible situation—I have made Clarence Hervey buy a pair of horses for me and I cannot make my Lord Delacour pay for them but I forgot to tell you that I took your name—not in vain indeed—in this business I told Clarence that upon condition he would do this job for me you would forgive him for all his sins and—nay my dear why do you look as if I had stabbed you to the heart—after all I only drew upon your pretty mouth for a few smiles Pray let me see whether it has actually forgotten how to smile
Belinda was too much vexed at this instant to understand raillery She was inspired by anger with unwonted courage and losing all fear of Lady Delacours wit she very seriously expostulated with her ladyship upon having thus used her name without her consent or knowledge Belinda felt she was now in danger of being led into a situation which might be fatal to her reputation and her happiness and she was the more surprised at her ladyship when she recollected the history she had so lately heard of Harriot Freke and Colonel Lawless
You cannot but be sensible Lady Delacour said Belinda that after the contempt I have heard Mr Hervey express for matchmaking with Mrs Stanhopes nieces I should degrade myself by any attempts to attract his attention No wit no eloquence can change my opinion upon this subject—I cannot endure contempt
Very likely—no doubt—interrupted Lady Delacour but if you would only open your eyes which heroines make it a principle never to do—or else there would be an end of the novel—if you would only open your eyes you would see that this man is in love with you and whilst you are afraid of his contempt he is a hundred times more afraid of yours and as long as you are each of you in such fear of you know not what you must excuse me if I indulge myself in a little wholesome raillery—Belinda smiled—There now one such smile as that for Clarence Hervey and Im out of debt and danger said Lady Delacour
O Lady Delacour why why will you try your power over me in this manner said Belinda You know that I ought not to be persuaded to do what I am conscious is wrong But a few days ago you told me yourself that Mr Hervey is—is not a marrying man and a woman of your penetration must see that—that he only means to flirt with me I am not a match for Mr Hervey in any respect He is a man of wit and gallantry—I am unpractised in the ways of the world I was not educated by my aunt Stanhope—I have only been with her a few years—I wish I had never been with her in my life
Ill take care Mr Hervey shall know that said Lady Delacour but in the mean time I do think any fair appraiser of delicate distresses would decide that I am all the circumstances considered more to be pitied at this present moment than you are for the catastrophe of the business evidently is that I must pay two hundred guineas for the horses somehow or other
I can pay for them exclaimed Belinda and will with the greatest pleasure I will not go to the birthnight—my dress is not bespoke Will two hundred guineas pay for the horses Oh take the money—pay Mr Hervey dear Lady Delacour and it will all be right
You are a charming girl said Lady Delacour embracing her but how can I answer for it to my conscience or to your aunt Stanhope if you dont appear on the birthnight That cannot be my dear besides you know Mrs Franks will send home your drawingroom dress today and it would be so foolish to be presented for nothing—not to go to the birthnight afterwards If you say a you must say b
Then said Belinda I will not go to the drawingroom—Not go my dear What throw away fifty guineas for nothing Really I never saw any one so lavish of her money and so economic of her smiles
Surely said Miss Portman it is better for me to throw away fifty guineas poor as I am than to hazard the happiness of my life Your ladyship knows that if I say a to Mr Hervey I must say b No no my dear Lady Delacour here is the draught for two hundred guineas pay Mr Hervey for Heavens sake and there is an end of the business
What a positive child it is Well then it shall not be forced to say the a b c of Cupids alphabet to that terrible pedagogue Clarence Hervey till it pleases but seriously Miss Portman I am concerned that you will make me take this draught it is absolutely robbing you But Lord Delacours the person you must blame—it is all his obstinacy having once said he would not pay for the horses he would see them and me and the whole human race expire before he would change his silly mind—Next month I shall have it in my power my dear to repay you with a thousand thanks and in a few months more we shall have another birthday and a new star shall appear in the firmament of fashion and it shall be called Belinda In the mean time my dear upon second thoughts perhaps we can get Mrs Franks to dispose of your drawingroom dress to some person of taste and you may keep your fifty guineas for the next occasion Ill see what can be done—Adieu a thousand thanks silly child as you are
Mrs Franks at first declared that it would be an impossibility to dispose of Miss Portmans dress though she would do any thing upon earth to oblige Lady Delacour however ten guineas made every thing possible Belinda rejoiced at having as she thought extricated herself at so cheap a rate and well pleased with her own conduct she wrote to her aunt Stanhope to inform her of as much of the transaction as she could disclose without betraying Lady Delacour Her ladyship she said had immediate occasion for two hundred guineas and to accommodate her with this sum she had given up the idea of going to court
The tenor of Miss Portmans letter will be sufficiently apparent from Mrs Stanhopes answer
MRS STANHOPE TO MISS PORTMAN
Bath June 2nd
I cannot but feel some astonishment Belinda at your very extraordinary conduct and more extraordinary letter What you can mean by principles and delicacy I own I dont pretend to understand when I see you not only forget the respect that is due to the opinions and advice of the aunt to whom you owe every thing but you take upon yourself to lavish her money without common honesty I send you two hundred guineas and desire you to go to court—you lend my two hundred guineas to Lady Delacour and inform me that as you think yourself bound in honour to her ladyship you cannot explain all the particulars to me otherwise you are sure I should approve of the reasons which have influenced you Mighty satisfactory truly And then to mend the matter you tell me that you do not think that in your situation in life it is necessary that you should go to court Your opinions and mine you add differ in many points Then I must say that you are as ungrateful as you are presumptuous for I am not such a novice in the affairs of the world as to be ignorant that when a young lady professes to be of a different opinion from her friends it is only a prelude to something worse She begins by saying that she is determined to think for herself and she is determined to act for herself—and then it is all over with her and all the money c that has been spent upon her education is so much dead loss to her friends
Now I look upon it that a young girl who has been brought up and brought forward in the world as you have been by connexions is bound to be guided implicitly by them in all her conduct What should you think of a man who after he had been brought into parliament by a friend would go and vote against that friends opinions You do not want sense Belinda—you perfectly understand me and consequently your errors I must impute to the defect of your heart and not of your judgment I see that on account of the illness of the princess the kings birthday is put off for a fortnight If you manage properly and if unknown to Lady —— who certainly has not used you well in this business and to whom therefore you owe no peculiar delicacy you make Lord —— sensible how much your aunt Stanhope is disappointed and displeased as I most truly am at your intention of missing this opportunity of appearing at court it is ten to one but his lordship—who has not made it a point to refuse your request I suppose—will pay you your two hundred guineas You of course will make proper acknowledgments but at the same time entreat that his lordship will not commit you with his lady as she might be offended at your application to him I understand from an intimate acquaintance of his that you are a great favourite of his lordship and though an obstinate he is a goodnatured man and can have no fear of being governed by you consequently he will do just as you would have him
Then you have an opportunity of representing the thing in the prettiest manner imaginable to Lady —— as an instance of her lords consideration for her so you will oblige all parties a very desirable thing without costing yourself one penny and go to the birthnight after all and this only by using a little address without which nothing is to be done in this world
Yours affectionately if you follow my advice
SELINA STANHOPE
Belinda though she could not consistently with what she thought right follow the advice so artfully given to her in this epistle was yet extremely concerned to find that she had incurred the displeasure of an aunt to whom she thought herself under obligations She resolved to lay by as much as she possibly could from the interest of her fortune and to repay the two hundred guineas to Mrs Stanhope She was conscious that she had no right to lend this money to Lady Delacour if her aunt had expressly desired that she should spend it only on her courtdress but this had not distinctly been expressed when Mrs Stanhope sent her niece the draft That lady was in the habit of speaking and writing ambiguously so that even those who knew her best were frequently in doubt how to interpret her words Yet she was extremely displeased when her hints and her halfexpressed wishes were not understood Beside the concern she felt from the thoughts of having displeased her aunt Belinda was both vexed and mortified to perceive that in Clarence Herveys manner towards her there was not the change which she had expected that her conduct would naturally produce
One day she was surprised at his reproaching her for caprice in having given up her intentions of going to court Lady Delacours embarrassment whilst Mr Hervey spoke Belinda attributed to her ladyships desire that Clarence should not know that she had been obliged to borrow the money to pay him for the horses Belinda thought that this was a species of mean pride but she made it a point to keep her ladyships secret—she therefore slightly answered Mr Hervey that she wondered that a man who was so well acquainted with the female sex should be surprised at any instance of caprice from a woman The conversation then took another turn and whilst they were talking of indifferent subjects in came Lord Delacours man Champfort with Mrs Stanhopes draft for two hundred guineas which the coachmakers man had just brought hack because Miss Portman had forgotten to endorse it Belindas astonishment was almost as great at this instant as Lady Delacours confusion
Come this way my dear and well find you a pen and ink You need not wait Champfort but tell the man to wait for the draft—Miss Portman will endorse it immediately—And she took Belinda into another room
Good Heavens Has not this money been paid to Mr Hervey exclaimed Belinda
No my dear but I will take all the blame upon myself or which will do just as well for you throw it all upon my better half My Lord Delacour would not pay for my new carriage The coachmaker insolent animal would not let it out of his yard without two hundred guineas in ready money Now you know I had the horses and what could I do with the horses without the carriage Clarence Hervey I knew could wait for his money better than a poor devil of a coachmaker so I paid the coachmaker and a few months sooner or later can make no difference to Clarence who rolls in gold my dear—if that will be any comfort to you as I hope it will
Oh what will he think of me said Belinda
Nay what will he think of me child
Lady Delacour said Belinda in a firmer tone than she had ever before spoken I must insist upon this draft being given to Mr Hervey
Absolutely impossible my dear—I cannot take it from the coachmaker he has sent home the carriage the things done and cannot be undone But come since I know nothing else will make you easy I will take this mighty favour from Mr Hervey entirely upon my own conscience you cannot object to that for you are not the keeper of my conscience I will tell Clarence the whole business and do you honour due my dear so endorse the check whilst I go and sound both the praises of your dignity of mind and simplicity of character c c c c
Her ladyship broke away from Belinda returned to Clarence Hervey and told the whole affair with that peculiar grace with which she knew how to make a good story of a bad one Clarence was as favourable an auditor at this time as she could possibly have found for no human being could value money less than he did and all sense of her ladyships meanness was lost in his joy at discovering that Belinda was worthy of his esteem Now he felt in its fullest extent all the power she had over his heart and he was upon the point of declaring his attachment to her when malheureusement Sir Philip Baddely and Mr Rochfort announced themselves by the noise they made on the staircase These were the young men who had spoken in such a contemptuous manner at Lady Singletons of the matchmaking Mrs Stanhope and her nieces Mr Hervey was anxious that they should not penetrate into the state of his heart and he concealed his emotion by instantly assuming that kind of rattling gaiety which always delighted his companions who were ever in want of some one to set their stagnant ideas in motion At last they insisted upon carrying Clarence away with them to taste some wines for Sir Philip Baddely
CHAPTER VII — THE SERPENTINE RIVER
In his way to St Jamess street where the winemerchant lived Sir Philip Baddely picked up several young men of his acquaintance who were all eager to witness a trial of taste of epicurean taste between the baronet and Clarence Hervey Amongst his other accomplishments our hero piqued himself upon the exquisite accuracy of his organs of taste He neither loved wine nor was he fond of eating but at fine dinners with young men who were real epicures Hervey gave himself the airs of a connoisseur and asserted superiority even in judging of wine and sauces Having gained immortal honour at an entertainment by gravely protesting that some turtle would have been excellent if it had not been done a bubble too much he presumed elate as he was with the applauses of the company to assert that no man in England had a more correct taste than himself—Sir Philip Baddely could not passively submit to this arrogance he loudly proclaimed that though he would not dispute Mr Herveys judgment as far as eating was concerned yet he would defy him as a connoisseur in wines and he offered to submit the competition to any eminent winemerchant in London and to some common friend of acknowledged taste and experience—Mr Rochfort was chosen as the common friend of acknowledged taste and experience and a fashionable winemerchant was pitched upon to decide with him the merits of these candidates for bacchanalian fame Sir Philip who was just going to furnish his cellars was a person of importance to the winemerchant who produced accordingly his choicest treasures Sir Philip and Clarence tasted of all in their turns Sir Philip with real and Clarence with affected gravity and they delivered their opinions of the positive and comparative merits of each The winemerchant evidently as Mr Hervey thought leaned towards Sir Philip Upon my word Sir Philip you are right—that wine is the best I have—you certainly have a most discriminating taste said the complaisant winemerchant
Ill tell you what cried Sir Philip the thing is this by Jove now theres no possibility now—no possibility now by Jove of imposing upon me
Then said Clarence Hervey would you engage to tell the differences between these two wines ten times running blindfold
Ten times thats nothing replied Sir Philip yes fifty times I would by Jove
But when it came to the trial Sir Philip had nothing left but oaths in his own favour Clarence Hervey was victorious and his sense of the importance of this victory was much increased by the fumes of the wine which began to operate upon his brain His triumph was as he said it ought to be bacchanalian he laughed and sang with anacreontic spirit and finished by declaring that he deserved to be crowned with vineleaves
Dine with me Clarence said Rochfort and well crown you with three times three and whispered he to Sir Philip well have another trial after dinner
But as its not near dinnertime yet—what shall we do with ourselves till dinnertime said Sir Philip yawning pathetically
Clarence not being used to drink in a morning though all his companions were was much affected by the wine and Rochfort proposed that they should take a turn in the park to cool Herveys head To Hydepark they repaired Sir Philip boasting all the way they walked of the superior strength of his head
Clarence protested that his own was stronger than any mans in England and observed that at this instant he walked better than any person in company Sir Philip Baddely not excepted Now Sir Philip Baddely was a noted pedestrian and he immediately challenged our hero to walk with him for any money he pleased Done said Clarence for ten guineas—for any money you please and instantly they set out to walk as Rochfort cried one two three and away keep the path and whichever reaches that elm tree first has it
They were exactly even for some yards then Clarence got ahead of Sir Philip and he reached the elm tree first but as he waved his hat exclaiming Clarence has won the day Sir Philip came up with his companions and coolly informed him that he had lost his wager—Lost lost lost Clarence—fairly lost
Didnt I reach the tree first said Clarence
Yes answered his companions but you didnt keep the path You turned out of the way when you met that crowd of children yonder
Now I said Sir Philip dashed fairly through them—kept the path and won my bet
But said Hervey would you have had me run over that little child who was stooping down just in my way
I not I said Sir Philip but I would have you go through with your civility if a man will be polite he must pay for his politeness sometimes—You said youd lay me any money I pleased recollect—now Im very moderate—and as you are a particular friend Clarence Ill only take your ten guineas
A loud laugh from his companions provoked Clarence they were glad to have a laugh against him because he excited universal envy by the real superiority of his talents and by his perpetually taking the lead in those trifles which were beneath his ambition and exactly suited to engage the attention of his associates
Be it so and welcome Ill pay ten guineas for having better manners than any of you cried Hervey laughing but remember though Ive lost this bet I dont give up my pedestrian fame—Sir Philip there are no women to throw golden apples in my way now and no children for me to stumble over I dare you to another trial—double or quit
Im off by Jove said Sir Philip Im too hot damme to walk with you any more—but Im your man if youve a mind for a swim—heres the Serpentine river Clarence—hey damn it—hey
Sir Philip and all his companions knew that Clarence had never learned to swim
You may wink at one another as wisely as you please said Clarence but come on my boys—I am your man for a swim—hundred guineas upon it
——Darest thou Rochfort now
Leap in with me into this weedy flood
And swim to yonder point
and instantly Hervey who had in his confused head some recollection of an essay of Dr Franklin on swimming by which he fancied that he could ensure at once his safety and his fame threw off his coat and jumped into the river—luckily he was not in boots Rochfort and all the other young men stood laughing by the river side
Who the devil are these two that seem to be making up to us said Sir Philip looking at two gentlemen who were coming towards them St George hey you know every body
The foremost is Percival of Oaklypark I think pon my honour replied Mr St George and he then began to settle how many thousands a year Mr Percival was worth This point was not decided when the gentlemen came up to the spot where Sir Philip was standing
The child for whose sake Clarence Hervey had lost his bet was Mr Percivals and he came to thank him for his civility—The gentleman who accompanied Mr Percival was an old friend of Clarence Herveys he had met him abroad but had not seen him for some years
Pray gentlemen said he to Sir Philip and his party is Mr Clarence Hervey amongst you I think I saw him pass by me just now
Damn it yes—where is Clary though exclaimed Sir Philip suddenly recollecting himself—Clarence Hervey at this instant was drowning he had got out of his depth and had struggled in vain to recover himself
Curse me if its not all over with Clary continued Sir Philip Do any of you see his head any where Damn you Rochfort yonder it is
Damme so it is said Rochfort but hes so heavy in his clothes hed pull me down along with him to Davys locker—damme if Ill go after him
Damn it though cant some of ye swim Cant some of ye jump in cried Sir Philip turning to his companions damn it Clarence will go to the bottom
And so he inevitably would have done had not Mr Percival at this instant leaped into the river and seized hold of the drowning Clarence It was with great difficulty that he dragged him to the shore—Sir Philips party as soon as the danger was over officiously offered their assistance Clarence Hervey was absolutely senseless Damn it what shall we do with him now said Sir Philip Damn it we must call some of the people from the boathouse—hes as heavy as lead damn me if I know what to do with him 2
Whilst Sir Philip was damning himself Mr Percival ran to the boathouse for assistance and they carried the body into the house The elderly gentleman who had accompanied Mr Percival now made his way through the midst of the noisy crowd and directed what should be done to restore Mr Herveys suspended animation Whilst he was employed in this benevolent manner Clarences worthy friends were sneering at him and whispering to one another Ecod he talks as if he was a doctor said Rochfort
Pon honour I do believe said St George he is the famous Dr X—— I met him at a circulating library tother day
Dr X—— the writer do you mean said Sir Philip then damn me wed better get out of his way as fast as we can or hell have some of us down in black and white and curse me if I should choose to meet with myself in a book
No danger of that said Rochfort for how can one meet with oneself in a book Sir Philip if one never opens one—By Jove thats the true way
But pon my honour said St George I should like of all things to see myself in print twould make one famously famous
Damn me if I dont flatter myself though one can make oneself famous enough to all intents and purposes without having any thing to say to these author geniuses Youre a famous fellow faith to want to see yourself in print—Ill publish this in Bondstreet damn it in point of famousness Id sport my Random against all the books that ever were read or written damn me But what are we doing here
Herveys in good hands said Rochfort and this heres a cursed stupid lounge for us—besides its getting towards dinnertime so my voice is lets be off and we can leave St George who has such a famous mind to be in the doctors hook to bring Clary after us when hes ready for dinner and good company again you know—ha ha ha
Away the faithful friends went to the important business of their day
When Clarence Hervey came to his senses he started up rubbed his eyes and looked about exclaiming—Whats all this—Where am I—Wheres Baddely—Wheres Rochfort—Where are they all
Gone home to dinner answered Mr St George who was a hangeron of Sir Philips but they left me to bring you after them Faith Clary youve had a squeak for your life Pon my honour we thought at one time it was all over with you—but youre a rough one we shant have to pour over your grave a full bottle of red as yet my boy—youll do as well as ever So Ill step and call a coach for you Clary and we shall be at dinner as soon as the best of em after all by jingo I leave you in good hands with the doctor here that brought you to life and the gentleman that dragged you out of the water Heres a note for you whispered Mr St George as he leaned over Clarence Hervey—heres a note for you from Sir Philip and Rochfort read it do you mind to yourself
If I can said Clarence but Sir Philip writes a bloody bad hand 3
Oh hes a baronet said St George ha ha ha and charmed with his own wit he left the boathouse
Clarence with some difficulty deciphered the note which contained these words
Quiz the doctor Clary as soon as you are up to it—hes an author—so fair game—quiz the doctor and well drink your health with three times three in Rochforts burgundy
Yours c
PHIL BADDELY
PS Burn this when read
With the request contained in the postscript Clarence immediately complied he threw the note into the fire with indignation the moment that he had read it and turning towards the gentleman to whom it alluded he began to express in the strongest terms his gratitude for their benevolence But he stopped short in the midst of his acknowledgments when he discovered to whom he was speaking
Dr X—— cried he Is it possible How rejoiced I am to see you and how rejoiced I am to be obliged to you There is not a man in England to whom I would rather be obliged
You are not acquainted with Mr Percival I believe said Dr X—— give me leave Mr Percival to introduce to you the young gentleman whose life you have saved and whose life—though by the company in which you found him you might not think so—is worth saving This sir is no less a man than Mr Clarence Hervey of whose universal genius you have just had a specimen for which he was crowned with sedges as he well deserved by the god of the Serpentine river Do not be so unjust as to imagine that he has any of the presumption which is sometimes the chief characteristic of a man of universal genius Mr Clarence Hervey is without exception the most humble man of my acquaintance for whilst all good judges would think him fit company for Mr Percival he has the humility to think himself upon a level with Mr Rochfort and Sir Philip Baddely
You have lost as little of your satirical wit Dr X——— as of your active benevolence I perceive said Clarence Hervey since I met you abroad But as I cannot submit to your unjust charge of humility will you tell me where you are to be found in town and tomorrow———
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow said Dr X——— why not today
I am engaged said Clarence hesitating and laughing—I am unfortunately engaged today to dine with Mr Rochfort and Sir Philip Baddely and in the evening I am to be at Lady Delacours
Lady Delacour Not the same Lady Delacour whom four years ago when we met at Florence you compared to the Venus de Medici—no no it cannot be the same—a goddess of four years standing—Incredible
Incredible as it seems said Clarence it is true I admire her ladyship more than ever I did
Like a true connoisseur said Dr X——— you admire a fine picture the older it grows I hear that her ladyships face is really one of the finest pieces of painting extant with the advantage of
Evry grace which time alone can grant
Come come Dr X——— cried Mr Percival no more wit at Lady Delacours expense I have a fellowfeeling for Mr Hervey
Why you are not in love with her ladyship are you said Dr X—— I am not in love with Lady Delacours picture of herself replied Mr Percival but I was once in love with the original
How—When—Where cried Clarence Hervey in a tone totally different from that in which he had first addressed Mr Percival
Tomorrow you shall know the how the when and the where said Mr Percival heres your friend Mr St George and his coach
The deuce take him said Clarence but tell me is it possible that you are not in love with her still—and why
Why said Mr Percival—why Come tomorrow as you have promised to Upper Grosvenorstreet and let me introduce you to Lady Anne Percival she can answer your question better than I can—if not entirely to your satisfaction at least entirely to mine which is more surprising as the lady is my wife
By this time Clarence Hervey was equipped in a dry suit of clothes and by the strength of an excellent constitution which he had never injured even amongst his dissipated associates he had recovered from the effects of his late imprudence—Clary lets away heres the coach said Mr St George Why my boy—thats a famous fellow faith—why you look the better for being drowned Pon honour if I were you I would jump into the Serpentine river once a day
If I could always be sure of such good friends to pull me out said Hervey—Pray St George bythebye what were you and Rochfort and Sir Philip and all the rest of my friends doing whilst I was drowning
I cant say particularly upon my soul replied Mr St George for my own part I was in boots so you know I was out of the question But what signifies all that now Come come we had best think of looking after our dinners
Clarence Hervey who had very quick feelings was extremely hurt by the indifference which his dear friends had shown when his life was in danger he was apt to believe that he was really an object of affection and admiration amongst his companions and that though they were neither very wise nor very witty they were certainly very goodnatured When they had forfeited by their late conduct these claims to his regard his partiality for them was changed into contempt
You had better come home and dine with me Mr Hervey said Mr Percival if you be not absolutely engaged for here is your physician who tells me that temperance is necessary for a man just recovered from drowning and Mr Rochfort keeps too good a table I am told for one in your condition
Clarence accepted of this invitation with a degree of pleasure which perfectly astonished Mr St George
Every man knows his own affairs best said he to Clarence as he stepped into his hackney coach but for my share I will do my friend Rochfort the justice to say that no one lives as well as he does
If to live well mean nothing but to eat said Clarence
Now said Dr X—— looking at his watch it will be eight oclock by the time we get to Upper Grosvenorstreet and Lady Anne will probably have waited dinner for us about two hours which I apprehend is sufficient to try the patience of any woman but Griselda Do not continued he turning to Clarence Hervey expect to see an oldfashioned spiritless patient Griselda in Lady Anne Percival I can assure you that she is—but I will neither tell you what she is nor what she is not Every man who has any abilities likes to have the pleasure and honour of finding out a character by his own penetration instead of having it forced upon him at full length in capital letters of gold finely emblazoned and illuminated by the hand of some injudicious friend every child thinks the violet of his own finding the sweetest I spare you any farther allusion and illustrations concluded Dr X—— for here we are thank God in Upper Grosvenorstreet
CHAPTER VIII — A FAMILY PARTY
They found Lady Anne Percival in the midst of her children who all turned their healthy rosy intelligent faces towards the door the moment that they heard their fathers voice Clarence Hervey was so much struck with the expression of happiness in Lady Annes countenance that he absolutely forgot to compare her beauty with Lady Delacours Whether her eyes were large or small blue or hazel he could not tell nay he might have been puzzled if he had been asked the colour of her hair Whether she were handsome by the rules of art he knew not but he felt that she had the essential charm of beauty the power of prepossessing the heart immediately in her favour The effect of her manners like that of her beauty was rather to be felt than described Every body was at ease in her company and none thought themselves called upon to admire her To Clarence Hervey who had been used to the brilliant and exigeante Lady Delacour this respite from the fatigue of admiration was peculiarly agreeable The unconstrained cheerfulness of Lady Anne Percival spoke a mind at ease and immediately imparted happiness by exacting sympathy but in Lady Delacours wit and gaiety there was an appearance of art and effort which often destroyed the pleasure that she wished to communicate Mr Hervey was perhaps unusually disposed to reflection by having just escaped from drowning for he had made all these comparisons and came to this conclusion with the accuracy of a metaphysician who has been accustomed to study cause and effect—indeed there was no species of knowledge for which he had not taste and talents though to please fools he too often affected the bliss of ignorance
The children at Lady Anne Percivals happened to be looking at some gold fish which were in a glass globe and Dr X——— who was a general favourite with the younger as well as with the elder part of the family was seized upon the moment he entered the room a pretty little girl of five years old took him prisoner by the flap of the coat whilst two of her brothers assailed him with questions about the ears eyes and fins of fishes One of the little boys filliped the glass globe and observed that the fish immediately came to the surface of the water and seemed to hear the noise very quickly but his brother doubted whether the fish heard the noise and remarked that they might be disturbed by seeing or feeling the motion of the water when the glass was struck
Dr X—— observed that this was a very learned dispute and that the question had been discussed by no less a person than the Abbé Nollet and he related some of the ingenious experiments tried by that gentleman to decide whether fishes can or cannot hear Whilst the doctor was speaking Clarence Hervey was struck with the intelligent countenance of one of the little auditors a girl of about ten or twelve years old he was surprised to discover in her features though not in their expression a singular resemblance to Lady Delacour He remarked this to Mr Percival and the child who overheard him blushed as red as scarlet Dinner was announced at this instant and Clarence Hervey thought no more of the circumstance attributing the girls blush to confusion at being looked at so earnestly One of the little boys whispered as they were going down to dinner Helena I do believe that this is the goodnatured gentleman who went out of the path to make room for us instead of running over us as the other man did The children agreed that Clarence Hervey certainly was the goodnatured gentleman and upon the strength of this observation one of the boys posted himself next to Clarence at dinner and by all the little playful manoeuvres in his power endeavoured to show his gratitude and to cultivate a friendship which had been thus auspiciously commenced Mr Hervey who piqued himself upon being able always to suit his conversation to his companions distinguished himself at dinner by an account of the Chinese fishingbird from which he passed to the various ingenious methods of fishing practised by the Russian Cossacks From modern he went to ancient fish and he talked of that which was so much admired by the Roman epicures for exhibiting a succession of beautiful colours whilst it is dying and which was upon that account always suffered to die in the presence of the guests as part of the entertainment—Clarence was led on by the questions of the children from fishes to birds he spoke of the Roman aviaries which were so constructed as to keep from the sight of the prisoners that they contained the fields woods and every object which might remind them of their former liberty—From birds he was going on to beasts when he was nearly struck dumb by the forbidding severity with which an elderly lady who sat opposite to him fixed her eyes upon him He had not till this instant paid the smallest attention to her but her stern countenance was now so strongly contrasted with the approving looks of the children who sat next to her that he could not help remarking it He asked her to do him the honour to drink a glass of wine with him She declined doing him that honour observing that she never drank more than one glass of wine at dinner and that she had just taken one with Mr Percival Her manner was wellbred but haughty in the extreme and she was so passionate that her anger sometimes conquered even her politeness Her dislike to Clarence Hervey was apparent even in her silence If the old gentlewoman has taken an antipathy to me at first sight I cannot help it thought he and he went on to the beasts The boy who sat next him had asked some questions about the proboscis of the elephant and Mr Hervey mentioned Ivess account of the elephants in India who have been set to watch young children and who draw them back gently with their trunks when they go out of bounds He talked next of the unicorn and addressing himself to Dr X—— and Mr Percival he declared that in his opinion Herodotus did not deserve to be called the father of lies he cited the mammoth to prove that the apocryphal chapter in the history of beasts should not be contemned—that it would in all probability be soon established as true history The dessert was on the table before Clarence had done with the mammoth
As the butler put a fine dish of cherries upon the table he said
My lady these cherries are a present from the old gardener to Miss Delacour
Set them before Miss Delacour then said Lady Anne Helena my dear distribute your own cherries
At the name of Delacour Clarence Hervey though his head was still half full of the mammoth looked round in astonishment and when he saw the cherries placed before the young lady whose resemblance to Lady Delacour he had before observed he could not help exclaiming
That young lady then is not a daughter of your ladyships
No but I love her as well as if she were replied Lady Anne—What were you saying about the mammoth
That the mammoth is supposed to be—————— but interrupting himself Clarence said in an inquiring tone—A niece of Lady Delacours
Her ladyships daughter sir said the severe old lady in a voice more terrific than her looks
Shall I give you some strawberries Mr Hervey said lady Anne or will you let Helena help you to some cherries
Her ladyships daughter exclaimed Clarence Hervey in a tone of surprise
Some cherries sir said Helena but her voice faltered so much that she could hardly utter the words
Clarence perceived that he had been the cause of her agitation though he knew not precisely by what means and he now applied himself in silence to the picking of his strawberries with great diligence
The ladies soon afterwards withdrew and as Mr Percival did not touch upon the subject again Clarence forbore to ask any further questions though he was considerably surprised by this sudden discovery When he went into the drawingroom to tea he found his friend the stern old lady speaking in a high declamatory tone The words which he heard as he came into the room were—
If there were no Clarence Herveys there would be no Lady Delacours—Clarence bowed as if he had received a high compliment—the old lady walked away to an antechamber fanning herself with great energy
Mrs Margaret Delacour said Lady Anne in a low voice to Hervey is an aunt of Lord Delacours A woman whose heart is warmer than her temper
And that is never cool said a young lady who sat next to Lady Anne I call Mrs Margaret Delacour the volcano Im sure I am never in her company without dreading an eruption Every now and then out comes with a tremendous noise fire smoke and rubbish
And precious minerals said Lady Anne amongst the rubbish
But the best of it is continued the young lady that she is seldom in a passion without making a hundred mistakes for which she is usually obliged afterwards to ask a thousand pardons
By that account said Lady Anne which I believe to be just her contrition is always ten times as great as her offence
Now you talk of contrition Lady Anne said Mr Hervey I should think of my own offences I am very sorry that my indiscreet questions gave Miss Delacour any pain—my head was so full of the mammoth that I blundered on without seeing what I was about till it was too late
Pray sir said Mrs Margaret Delacour who now returned and took her seat upon a sofa with the solemnity of a person who was going to sit in judgment upon a criminal pray sir may I ask how long you have been acquainted with my Lady Delacour
Clarence Hervey took up a book and with great gravity kissed it as if he had been upon his oath in a court of justice and answered
To the best of my recollection madam it is now four years since I had first the pleasure and honour of seeing Lady Delacour
And in that time intimately as you have had the pleasure of being acquainted with her ladyship you have never discovered that she had a daughter
Never said Mr Hervey
There Lady Anne—There cried Mrs Delacour will you tell me after this that Lady Delacour is not a monster
Every body says that shes a prodigy said Lady Anne and prodigies and monsters are sometimes thought synonymous terms
Such a mother was never heard of continued Mrs Delacour since the days of Savage and Lady Macclesfield I am convinced that she hates her daughter Why she never speaks of her—she never sees her—she never thinks of her
Some mothers speak more than they think of their children and others think more than they speak of them said Lady Anne
I always thought said Mr Hervey that Lady Delacour was a woman of great sensibility
Sensibility exclaimed the indignant old lady she has no sensibility sir—none—none She who lives in a constant round of dissipation who performs no one duty who exists only for herself how does she show her sensibility—Has she sensibility for her husband—for her daughter—for any one useful purpose upon earth—Oh how I hate the cambric handkerchief sensibility that is brought out only to weep at a tragedy—Yes Lady Delacour has sensibility enough I grant ye when sensibility is the fashion I remember well her performing the part of a nurse with vast applause and I remember too the sensibility she showed when the child that she nursed fell a sacrifice to her dissipation The second of her children that she killed—
Killed—Oh surely my dear Mrs Delacour that is too strong a word said Lady Anne you would not make a Medea of Lady Delacour
It would have been better if I had cried Mrs Delacour I can understand that there may be such a thing in nature as a jealous wife but an unfeeling mother I cannot comprehend—that passes my powers of imagination
And mine so much said Lady Anne that I cannot believe such a being to exist in the world—notwithstanding all the descriptions I have heard of it as you say my dear Mrs Delacour it passes my powers of imagination Let us leave it in Mr Herveys apocryphal chapter of animals and he will excuse us if I never admit it into true history at least without some better evidence than I have yet heard
Why my dear dear Lady Anne cried Mrs Delacour—Ive made this coffee so sweet theres no drinking it—what evidence would you have
None said Lady Anne smiling I would have none That is to say you will take none said Mrs Delacour but can any thing be stronger evidence than her ladyships conduct to my poor Helen—to your Helen I should say—for you have educated you have protected her you have been a mother to her I am an infirm weak ignorant passionate old woman—I could not have been what you have been to that child—God bless you—God will bless you
She rose as she spoke to set down her coffeecup on the table Clarence Hervey took it from her with a look which said much and which she was perfectly capable of understanding
Young man said she it is very unfashionable to treat age and infirmity with politeness I wish that your friend Lady Delacour may at my time of life meet with as much respect as she has met with admiration and gallantry in her youth Poor woman her head has absolutely been turned with admiration—and if fame say true Mr Hervey has had his share in turning that head by his flattery
I am sure her ladyship has turned mine by her charms said Clarence and I certainly am not to be blamed for admiring what all the world admires
I wish said the old lady for her own sake for the sake of her family and for the sake of her reputation that my Lady Delacour had fewer admirers and more friends
Women who have met with so many admirers seldom meet with many friends said Lady Anne
No said Mrs Delacour for they seldom are wise enough to know their value
We learn the value of all things but especially of friends by experience said Lady Anne and it is no wonder therefore that those who have little experience of the pleasures of friendship should not be wise enough to know their value
This is very goodnatured sophistry but Lady Delacour is too vain ever to have a friend said Mrs Delacour My dear Lady Anne you dont know her as well as I do—she has more vanity than ever woman had
That is certainly saying a great deal said Lady Anne but then we must consider that Lady Delacour as an heiress a beauty and a wit has a right to a triple share at least
Both her fortune and her beauty are gone and if she had any wit left it is time it should teach her how to conduct herself I think said Mrs Delacour but I give her up—I give her up
Oh no said Lady Anne you must not give her up yet I have been informed and upon the best authority that Lady Delacour was not always the unfeeling dissipated fine lady that she now appears to be This is only one of the transformations of fashion—the period of her enchantment will soon be at an end and she will return to her natural character I should not be at all surprised if Lady Delacour were to appear at once la femme comme il y en a pen
Or la bonne mère said Mrs Delacour sarcastically after thus leaving her daughter——
Pour bonne bouche interrupted Lady Anne when she is tired of the insipid taste of other pleasures she will have a higher relish for those of domestic life which will be new and fresh to her
And so you really think my dear Lady Anne that my Lady Delacour will end by being a domestic woman Well said Mrs Margaret after taking two pinches of snuff some people believe in the millennium but I confess I am not one of them—are you Mr Hervey
If it were foretold to me by a good angel said Clarence smiling as his eye glanced at Lady Anne if it were foretold to me by a good angel how could I doubt it
Here the conversation was interrupted by the entrance of one of Lady Annes little boys who came running eagerly up to his mother to ask whether he might have the sulphurs to show to Helena Delacour I want to show her Vertumnus and Pomona mamma said he Were not the cherries that the old gardener sent very good
What is this about the cherries and the old gardener Charles said the young lady who sat beside Lady Anne come here and tell me the whole story
I will but I should tell it you a great deal better another time said the boy because now Helenas waiting for Vertumnus and Pomona
Go then to Helena said Lady Anne and I will tell the story for you
Then turning to the young lady she began—Once upon a time there lived an old gardener at Kensington and this old gardener had an aloe which was older than himself for it was very near a hundred years of age and it was just going to blossom and the old gardener calculated how much he might make by showing his aloe when it should be in full blow to the generous public—and he calculated that he might make a 100l and with this 100l he determined to do more than was ever done with a 100l before but unluckily as he was thus reckoning his blossoms before they were blown he chanced to meet with a fair damsel who ruined all his calculations
Ay Mrs Stanhopes maid was not it interrupted Mrs Margaret Delacour A pretty damsel she was and almost as good a politician as her mistress Think of that jilts tricking this poor old fellow out of his aloe and—oh the meanness of Lady Delacour to accept of that aloe for one of her extravagant entertainments
But I always understood that she paid fifty guineas for it said Lady Anne
Whether she did or not said Mrs Delacour her ladyship and Mrs Stanhope between them were the ruin of this poor old man He was taken in to marry that jade of a waitingmaid she turned out just as you might expect from a pupil of Mrs Stanhopes—the matchmaking Mrs Stanhope—you know sir Clarence Hervey changed colour She turned out continued Mrs Delacour every thing that was bad—ruined her husband—ran away from him—and left him a beggar
Poor man said Clarence Hervey
But now said Lady Anne lets come to the best part of the story—mark how good comes out of evil If this poor man had not lost his aloe and his wife I probably should never have been acquainted with Mrs Delacour or with my little Helena About the time that the old gardener was left a beggar as I happened to be walking one fine evening in Sloanestreet I met a procession of schoolgirls—an old man begged from them in a most moving voice and as they passed several of the young ladies threw halfpence to him One little girl who observed that the old man could not stoop without great difficulty stayed behind the rest of her companions and collected the halfpence which they had thrown to him and put them into his hat He began to tell his story over again to her and she stayed so long listening to it that her companions had turned the corner of the street and were out of sight She looked about in great distress and I never shall forget the pathetic voice with which she said Oh what will become of me every body will be angry with me I assured her that nobody should be angry with her and she gave me her little hand with the utmost innocent confidence I took her home to her schoolmistress and I was so pleased with the beginning of this acquaintance that I was determined to cultivate it One good acquaintance I have heard always leads to another Helena introduced me to her aunt Delacour as her best friend Mrs Margaret Delacour has had the goodness to let her little niece spend the holidays and all her leisure time with me so that our acquaintance has grown into friendship Helena has become quite one of my family
And I am sure she has become quite a different creature since she has been so much with you cried Mrs Delacour her spirits were quite broken by her mothers neglect of her young as she is she has a great deal of real sensibility but as to her mothers sensibility—
At the recollection of Lady Delacours neglect of her child Mrs Delacour was going again to launch forth into indignant invective but Lady Anne stopped her by whispering—
Take care what you say of the mother for here is the daughter coming and she has indeed a great deal of real sensibility
Helena and her young companions now came into the room bringing with them the sulphurs at which they had been looking
Mamma said little Charles Percival we have brought the sulphurs to you because there are some of them that I dont know
Wonderful said Lady Anne and what is not quite so wonderful there are some of them that I dont know
The children spread the sulphurs upon a little table and all the company gathered round it
Here are all the nine muses for you said the least of the boys who had taken his seat by Clarence Hervey at dinner here are all the muses for you Mr Hervey which do you like best—Oh thats the tragic muse that you have chosen—You dont like the tragic better than the comic muse do you
Clarence Hervey made no answer for he was at that instant recollecting how Belinda looked in the character of the tragic muse
Has your ladyship ever happened to meet with the young lady who has spent this winter with Lady Delacour said Clarence to Lady Anne
I sat near her one night at the opera said Lady Anne she has a charming countenance
Who—Belinda Portman do you mean said Mrs Delacour I am sure if I were a young man I would not trust to the charming countenance of a young lady who is a pupil of Mrs Stanhopes and a friend of—Helena my dear shut the door—the most dissipated woman in London
Indeed said Lady Anne Miss Portman is in a dangerous situation but some young people learn prudence by being placed in dangerous situations as some young horses I have heard Mr Percival say learn to be surefooted by being left to pick their own way on bad roads
Here Mr Percival Dr X—— and some other gentlemen came up stairs to tea and the conversation took another turn Clarence Hervey endeavoured to take his share in it with his usual vivacity but he was thinking of Belinda Portman dangerous situations stumbling horses c and he made several blunders which showed his absence of mind
What have you there Mr Hervey said Dr X—— looking over his shoulder—the tragic muse This tragic muse seems to rival Lady Delacour in your admiration
Oh said Clarence smiling you know I was always a votary of the muses
And a favoured votary said Dr X—— I wish for the interests of literature that poets may always be lovers though I cannot say that I desire lovers should always be poets But Mr Hervey you must never marry remember continued Dr X—— never—for your true poet must always be miserable You know Petrarch tells us he would not have been happy if he could he would not have married his mistress if it had been in his power because then there would have been an end of his beautiful sonnets
Every one to his taste said Clarence for my part I have even less ambition to imitate the heroism than hope of being inspired with the poetic genius of Petrarch I have no wish to pass whole nights composing sonnets I would am I not right Mr Percival infinitely rather be a slave of the ring than a slave of the lamp
Here the conversation ended Clarence took his leave and Mrs Margaret Delacour said the moment he had left the room Quite a different sort of young man from what I had expected to see
CHAPTER IX — ADVICE
The next morning Mr Hervey called on Dr X——— and begged that he would accompany him to Lady Delacours
To be introduced to your tragic muse said the doctor
Yes said Mr Hervey I must have your opinion of her before I devote myself
My opinion but of whom—Of Lady Delacour
No but of a young lady whom you will see with her
Is she handsome
Beautiful
And young
And young
And graceful
The most graceful person you ever beheld
Young beautiful graceful then the deuce take me said Dr X——— if I give you my opinion of her for the odds are that she has a thousand faults at least to balance these perfections
A thousand faults a charitable allowance said Clarence smiling
There now said Dr X———
Touch him and no ministers so sore
To punish you for wincing at my first setting out I promise you that if the lady have a million of faults each of them high as huge Olympus I will see them as with the eye of a flatterer—not of a friend
I defy you to be so good or so bad as your word doctor said Hervey You have too much wit to make a good flatterer
And perhaps you think too much to make a good friend said Dr X——
Not so said Clarence I would at any time rather be cut by a sharp knife than by a blunt one But my dear doctor I hope you will not be prejudiced against Belinda merely because she is with Lady Delacour for to my certain knowledge she in not under her ladyships influence She judges and acts for herself of which I have had an instance
Very possibly interrupted Dr X—— But before we go any farther will you please to tell me of what Belinda you are talking
Belinda Portman I forgot that I had not told you
Miss Portman a niece of Mrs Stanhopes
Yes but do not be prejudiced against her on that account said Clarence eagerly though I was at first myself
Then you will excuse my following your example instead of your precepts
No said Clarence for my precepts are far better than my example
Lady Delacour received Dr X—— most courteously and thanked Mr Hervey for introducing to her a gentleman with whom she had long desired to converse Dr X—— had a great literary reputation and she saw that he was a perfectly wellbred man consequently she was ambitious of winning his admiration She perceived also that he had considerable influence with Clarence Hervey and this was a sufficient reason to make her wish for his good opinion Belinda was particularly pleased with his manners and conversation she saw that he paid her much attention and she was desirous that he should think favourably of her but she had the good sense and good taste to avoid a display of her abilities and accomplishments A sensible man who has any knowledge of the world and talents for conversation can easily draw out the knowledge of those with whom he converses Dr X———possessed this power in a superior degree
Well cried Clarence when their visit was over what is your opinion of Lady Delacour
I am blasted with excess of light said the doctor
Her ladyship is certainly very brilliant said Clarence but I hope that Miss Portman did not overpower you
No—I turned my eyes from Lady Delacour upon Miss Portman as a painter turns his eyes upon mild green to rest them when they have been dazzled by glaring colours
She yields her charms of mind with sweet delay
I was afraid said Hervey that you might think her manners too reserved and cold they are certainly become more so than they used to be But so much the better by and by we shall find beautiful flowers spring up from beneath the snow
A very poetical hope said Dr X——— but in judging of the human character we must not entirely trust to analogies and allusions taken from the vegetable creation
What cried Clarence Hervey looking eagerly in the doctors eyes what do you mean I am afraid you do not approve of Belinda
Your fears are almost as precipitate as your hopes my good sir but to put you out of pain I will tell you that I approve of all I have seen of this young lady but that it is absolutely out of my power to form a decisive judgment of a womans temper and character in the course of a single morning visit Women you know as well as men often speak with one species of enthusiasm and act with another I must see your Belinda act I must study her before I can give you my final judgment Lady Delacour has honoured me with her commands to go to her as often as possible For your sake my dear Hervey I shall obey her ladyship most punctually that I may have frequent opportunities of seeing your Miss Portman
Clarence expressed his gratitude with much energy for this instance of the doctors friendship Belinda who had been entertained by Dr X———s conversation during this first visit was more and more delighted with his company as she became more acquainted with his understanding and character She felt that he unfolded her powers and that with the greatest politeness and address he raised her confidence in herself without ever descending to flattery By degrees she learned to look upon him as a friend she imparted to him with great ingenuousness her opinions on various subjects and she was both amused and instructed by his observations on the characters and manners of the company who frequented Lady Delacours assemblies She did not judge of the doctors sincerity merely by the kindness he showed her but by his conduct towards others
One night at a select party at Lady Delacours a Spanish gentleman was amusing the company with some anecdotes to prove the extraordinary passion which some of his countrymen formerly showed for the game of chess He mentioned families in which unfinished games bequeathed by will had descended from father to son and where victory was doubtful for upwards of a century
Mr Hervey observed that gaining a battle was at that time so common to the court of Spain that a victory at chess seemed to confer more éclat for that an abbé by losing adroitly a game at chess to the Spanish minister obtained a cardinals hat
The foreigner was flattered by the manner in which Hervey introduced this slight circumstance and he directed to him his conversation speaking in French and Italian successively he was sufficiently skilled in both languages but Clarence spoke them better Till he appeared the foreigner was the principal object of attention but he was soon eclipsed by Mr Hervey Nothing amusing or instructive that could be said upon the game of chess escaped him and the literary ground which the slow Don would have taken some hours to go regularly over our hero traversed in a few minutes From Twiss to Vida from Irwin to Sir William Jones from Spain to India he passed with admirable celerity and seized all that could adorn his course from Indian Antiquities or Asiatic Researches
By this display of knowledge he surprised even his friend Dr X—— The ladies admired his taste as a poet the gentlemen his accuracy as a critic Lady Delacour loudly applauded and Belinda silently approved Clarence was elated The Spanish gentleman to whom he had just quoted a case in point from Vidas Scacchia asked him if he were as perfect in the practice as in the theory of the game Clarence was too proud of excelling in every thing to decline the Spaniards challenge They sat down to chess Lady Delacour as they ranged the pieces on the board cried Whoever wins shall be my knight and a silver chessman shall be his prize Was it not Queen Elizabeth who gave a silver chessman to one of her courtiers as a mark of her royal favour I am ashamed to imitate such a pedantic coquet—but since I have said it how can I retract
Impossible impossible cried Clarence Hervey a silver chessman be our prize and if I win it like the gallant Raleigh I will wear it in my cap and what proud Essex shall dare to challenge it
The combat now began—the spectators were silent Clarence made an error in his first move for his attention was distracted by seeing Belinda behind his adversarys chair The Spaniard was deceived by this mistake into a contemptuous opinion of his opponent—Belinda changed her place—Clarence recovered his presence of mind and convinced him that he was not a man to be despised The combat was long doubtful but at length to the surprise of all present Clarence Hervey was victorious
Exulting in his success he looked round for Lady Delacour from whom he expected the honours of his triumph She had left the room but soon she returned dressed in the character of Queen Elizabeth in which she had once appeared at a masquerade with a large ruff and all the costume of the times
Clarence Hervey throwing himself at her feet addressed her in that highflown style which her majesty was wont to hear from the gallant Raleigh or the accomplished Essex
Soon the coquetry of the queen entirely conquered her prudery and the favoured courtier evidently elated by his situation was as enthusiastic as her majestys most insatiable vanity could desire The characters were well supported both the actor and actress were highly animated and seemed so fully possessed by their parts as to be insensible to the comments that were made upon the scene Clarence Hervey was first recalled to himself by the deep blush which he saw on Belindas cheek when Queen Elizabeth addressed her as one of her maids of honour of whom she affected to be jealous He was conscious that he had been hurried by the enthusiasm of the moment farther than he either wished or intended It was difficult to recede when her majesty seemed disposed to advance but Sir Walter Raleigh with much presence of mind turned to the foreigner whom he accosted as the Spanish ambassador
Your excellency sees said he how this great queen turns the heads of her faithful subjects and afterwards has the art of paying them with nothing but words Has the new world afforded you any coin half so valuable
The Spanish gentlemans grave replies to this playful question gave a new turn to the conversation and relieved Clarence Hervey from his embarrassment Lady Delacour though still in high spirits was easily diverted to other objects She took the Spaniard with her to the next room to show him a picture of Mary Queen of Scots The company followed her—Clarence Hervey remained with Dr X—— and Belinda who had just asked the doctor to teach her the moves at chess
Lady Delacour has charming spirits said Clarence Hervey they inspire every body with gaiety
Every body they incline me more to melancholy than mirth said Dr X—— These high spirits do not seem quite natural The vivacity of youth and of health Miss Portman always charms me but this gaiety of Lady Delacours does not appear to me that of a sound mind in a sound body
The doctors penetration went so near the truth that Belinda afraid of betraying her friends secrets never raised her eyes from the chessboard whilst he spoke but went on setting up the fallen castles and bishops and kings with expeditious diligence
You are putting the bishop into the place of the knight said Clarence
Lady Delacour continued the doctor seems to be in a perpetual fever either of mind or body—I cannot tell which—and as a professional man I really have some curiosity to determine the question If I could feel her pulse I could instantly decide but I have heard her say that she has a horror against having her pulse felt and a ladys horror is invincible by reason—
But not by address said Clarence I can tell you a method of counting her pulse without her knowing it without her seeing you without your seeing her
Indeed said Dr X—— smiling that may be a useful secret in my profession pray impart it to me—you who excel in every thing
Are you in earnest Mr Hervey said Belinda
Perfectly in earnest—my secret is quite simple Look through the door at the shadow of Queen Elizabeths ruff—observe how it vibrates the motion as well as the figure is magnified in the shadow Cannot you count every pulsation distinctly
I can said Dr X—— and I give you credit for making an ingenious use of a trifling observation The doctor paused and looked round Those people cannot hear what we are saying I believe
Oh no said Belinda they are intent upon themselves Doctor X——fixed his eyes mildly upon Clarence Hervey and exclaimed in an earnest friendly tone—What a pity Mr Hervey that a young man of your talents and acquirements a man who might be any thing should—pardon the expression—choose to be—nothing should waste upon petty objects powers suited to the greatest should lend his soul to every contest for frivolous superiority when the same energy concentrated might ensure honourable preeminence among the first men in his country Shall he who might not only distinguish himself in any science or situation who might not only acquire personal fame but oh far more noble motive who might be permanently useful to his fellowcreatures content himself with being the evanescent amusement of a drawingroom—Shall one who might be great in public or happy in private life waste in this deplorable manner the best years of his existence—time that can never be recalled—This is declamation—No it is truth put into the strongest language that I have power to use in the hope of making some impression I speak from my heart for I have a sincere regard for you Mr Hervey and if I have been impertinent you must forgive me
Forgive you cried Clarence Hervey taking Dr X—— by the hand I think you a real friend you shall have the best thanks not in words but in actions you have roused my ambition and I will pursue noble ends by noble means A few years have been sacrificed but the lessons that they have taught me remain I cannot presumptuous as lam flatter myself that my exertions can be of any material utility to my fellowcreatures but what I can do I will my excellent friend If I be hereafter either successful in public or happy in private life it is to you I shall owe it
Belinda was touched by the candour and good sense with which Clarence Hervey spoke His character appeared in a new light she was proud of her own judgment in having discerned his merit and for a moment she permitted herself to feel unreproved pleasure in his company
The next morning Sir Philip Baddely and Mr Rochfort called at Lady Delacours—Mr Hervey was present—her ladyship was summoned to Mrs Franks and Belinda was left with these gentlemen
Why damme Clary you have been a lost man cried Sir Philip ever since you were drowned Damme why did not you come to dine with us that day now I recollect it We were all famously merry but for your comfort Clarence we missed you cursedly and were damned sorry you ever took that unlucky jump into the Serpentine river—damned sorry were not we Rochfort
Oh said Clarence in an ironical tone you need no vouchers to convince me of the reality of your sorrow You know I can never forget your jumping so courageously into the river to save the life of your friend
Oh pooh damn it said Sir Philip what signifies who pulled you out now you are safe and sound Bythebye Clary did you ever quiz that doctor as I desired you No that Im sure you didnt but I think he has made a quiz of you for damme I believe you have taken such a fancy to the old quizzical fellow that you cant live without him Miss Portman dont you admire Herveys taste
In this instance I certainly do admire Mr Herveys taste said Belinda for the best of all possible reasons because it entirely agrees with my own
Very extraordinary faith said Sir Philip
And what the devil can you find to like in him Clary continued Mr Rochfort for one wouldnt be so rude to put that question to a lady Ladies you know are never to be questioned about their likings and dislikings Some have pet dogs some have pet cats then why not a pet quiz
Ha ha ha thats a good one Rochfort—a pet quiz—Ha ha ha Dr X—— shall be Miss Portmans pet quiz Put it about put it about Rochfort continued the witty baronet and he and his facetious companion continued to laugh as long as they possibly could at this happy hit
Belinda without being in the least discomposed by their insolent folly as soon as they had finished laughing very coolly observed that she could have no objection to give her reasons for preferring Dr X——s company but for fear they might give offence to Sir Philip and his friends She then defended the doctor with so much firmness and yet with so much propriety that Clarence Hervey was absolutely enchanted with her and with his own penetration in having discovered her real character notwithstanding her being Mrs Stanhopes niece
I never argue for my part cried Mr Rochfort pon honour tis a deal too much trouble A lady a handsome lay I mean is always in the right with me
But as to you Hervey said Sir Philip damme do you know my boy that our club has come to a determination to blackball you if you keep company with this famous doctor
Your club Sir Philip will do me honour by such an ostracism
Ostracism repeated Sir Philip—In plain English does that mean that you choose to be blackballed by us Why damn it Clary youll be nobody But follow your own genius—damn me if I take it upon me to understand your men of genius—they are in the Serpentine river one day and in the clouds the next so fare ye well Clary I expect to see you a doctor of physic or a methodist parson soon damn me if I dont so fare ye well Clary Is blackball your last word or will you think better ont and give up the doctor
I can never give up Dr X——s friendship—I would sooner be blackballed by every club in London The good lesson you gave me Sir Philip the day I was fool enough to jump into the Serpentine river has made me wiser for life I know for I have felt the difference between real friends and fashionable acquaintance Give up Dr X—— Never never
Then fare you well Clary said Sir Philip youre no longer one of us
Then fare ye well Clary youre no longer the man for me said Rochfort
Tant pis and tant mieux said Clarence and so they parted
As they left the room Clarence Hervey involuntarily turned to Belinda and he thought that he read in her ingenuous animated countenance full approbation of his conduct
Hist are they gone quite gone said Lady Delacour entering the room from an adjoining apartment they have stayed an unconscionable time How much I am obliged to Mrs Franks for detaining me I have escaped their vapid impertinence and in truth this morning I have such a multiplicity of business that I have scarcely a moment even for wit and Clarence Hervey Belinda my dear will you have the charity to look over some of these letters for me which as Marriott tells me have been lying in my writingtable this week—expecting most unreasonably that I should have the grace to open them We are always punished for our indolence as your friend Dr X—— said the other day if we suffer business to accumulate it drifts with every ill wind like snow till at last an avalanche of it comes down at once and quite overwhelms us Excuse me Clarence continued her ladyship as she opened her letters this is very rude but I know I have secured my pardon from you by remembering your friends wit—wisdom I should say how seldom are wit and wisdom joined They might have been joined in Lady Delacour perhaps—theres vanity—if she had early met with such a friend as Dr X—— but its too late now said she with a deep sigh
Clarence Hervey heard it and it made a great impression upon his benevolent imagination Why too late said he to himself Mrs Margaret Delacour is mistaken if she thinks this woman wants sensibility
What have you got there Miss Portman said Lady Delacour taking from Belindas hand one of the letters which she had begged her to look over something wondrous pathetic I should guess by your countenance Helena Delacour Oh read it to yourself my dear—a schoolgirls letter is a thing I abominate—I make it a rule never to read Helenas epistles
Let me prevail upon your ladyship to make an exception to the general rule then said Belinda I can assure you this is not a common schoolgirls letter Miss Delacour seems to inherit her mothers eloquence de billet
Miss Portman seems to possess by inheritance by instinct by magic or otherwise powers of persuasion which no one can resist Theres compliment for compliment my dear Is there any thing half so well turned in Helenas letter Really tis vastly well continued her ladyship as she read the letter where did the little gipsy learn to write so charmingly I protest I should like of all things to have her at home with me this summer—the 21st of June—well after the birthday I shall have time to think about it But then we shall be going out of town and at Harrowgate I should not know what to do with her she had better much better go to her humdrum Aunt Margarets as she always does—she is a fixture in Grosvenorsquare These stationary good people these zoophite friends are sometimes very convenient and Mrs Margaret Delacour is the most unexceptionable zoophite in the creation She has it is true an antipathy to me because Im of such a different nature from herself but then her antipathy does not extend to my offspring she is kind beyond measure to Helena on purpose I believe to provoke me Now I provoke her in my turn by never being provoked and she saves me a vast deal of trouble for which she is overpaid by the pleasure of abusing me This is the way of the world Clarence Dont look so serious—you are not come yet to daughters and sons and schools and holidays and all the evils of domestic life
Evils repeated Clarence Hervey in a tone which surprised her ladyship She looked immediately with a significant smile at Belinda Why do not you echo evils Miss Portman
Pray Lady Delacour interrupted Clarence Hervey when do you go to Harrowgate
What a sudden transition said Lady Delacour What association of ideas could just at that instant take you to Harrowgate When do I go to Harrowgate Immediately after the birthday I believe we shall—I advise you to be of the party
Your ladyship does me a great deal of honour said Hervey I shall if it be possible do myself the honour of attending you
And soon after this arrangement was made Mr Hervey took his leave
Well my dear are you still poring over that letter of Helenas said Lady Delacour to Miss Portman
I fancy your ladyship did not quite finish it said Belinda
No I saw something about the Leverian Museum and a swallows nest in a pair of gardenshears and I was afraid I was to have a catalogue of curiosities for which I have little taste and less time
You did not see then what Miss Delacour says of the lady who took her to that Museum
Not I What lady her Aunt Margaret
No Mrs Margaret Delacour she says has been so ill for some time past that she goes no where but to Lady Anne Percivals
Poor woman said Lady Delacour she will die soon and then I shall have Helena upon my hands unless some other kind friend takes a fancy to her Who is this lady that has carried her to the Leverian Museum
Lady Anne Percival of whom she speaks with so much gratitude and affection that I quite long——
Lord bless me interrupted Lady Delacour Lady Anne Percival Helena has mentioned this Lady Anne Percival to me before I recollect in some of her letters
Then you did read some of her letters
Half—I never read more than half upon my word said Lady Delacour laughing
Why will you delight in making yourself appear less good than you are my dear Lady Delacour said Belinda taking her hand
Because I hate to be like other people said her ladyship who delight in making themselves appear better than they are But I was going to tell you that I do believe I did provoke Percival by marrying Lord Delacour I cannot tell you how much this Mea delights me—I am sure that the man has a lively remembrance of me or else he would never make his wife take so much notice of my daughter
Surely your ladyship does not think said Belinda that a wife is a being whose actions are necessarily governed by a husband
Not necessarily—but accidentally When a lady accidentally sets up for being a good wife she must of course love honour and obey Now you understand I am not in the least obliged to Lady Anne for her kindness to Helena because it all goes under the head of obedience in my imagination and her ladyship is paid for it by an accession of character she has the reward of having it said Oh Lady Anne Percival is the best wife in the world—Oh Lady Anne Percival is quite a pattern woman I hate pattern women I hope I may never see Lady Anne for Im sure I should detest her beyond all things living—Mrs Luttridge not excepted
Belinda was surprised and shocked at the malignant vehemence with which her ladyship uttered these words it was in vain however that she remonstrated on the injustice of predetermining to detest Lady Anne merely because she had shown kindness to Helena and because she bore a high character Lady Delacour was a woman who never listened to reason or who listened to it only that she might parry it by wit Upon this occasion her wit had not its usual effect upon Miss Portman instead of entertaining it disgusted her
You have called me your friend Lady Delacour said she I should but ill deserve that name if I had not the courage to speak the truth to you—if I had not the courage to tell you when I think you are wrong
But I have not the courage to hear you my dear said Lady Delacour stopping her ears So your conscience may be at ease you may suppose that you have said every thing that is wise and good and proper and sublime and that you deserve to be called the best of friends you shall enjoy the office of censor to Lady Delacour and welcome but remember it is a sinecure place though I will pay you with my love and esteem to any extent you please You sigh—for my folly Alas my dear tis hardly worth while—my follies will soon be at an end Of what use could even the wisdom of Solomon be to me now If you have any humanity you will not force me to reflect whilst I yet live I must keep it up with incessant dissipation—the teetotum keeps upright only while it spins so let us talk of the birthnight or the new play that we are to see tonight or the ridiculous figure Lady H—— made at the concert or let us talk of Harrowgate or what you will
Pity succeeded to disgust and displeasure in Belindas mind and she could hardly refrain from tears whilst she saw this unhappy creature with forced smiles endeavour to hide the real anguish of her soul she could only say But my dear Lady Delacour do not you think that your little Helena who seems to have a most affectionate disposition would add to your happiness at home
Her affectionate disposition can be nothing to me said Lady Delacour
Belinda felt a hot tear drop upon her hand which lay upon Lady Delacours lap
Can you wonder continued her ladyship hastily wiping away the tear which she had let fall can you wonder that I should talk of detesting Lady Anne Percival You see she has robbed me of the affections of my child Helena asks to come home yes but how does she ask it Coldly formally—as a duty But look at the end of her letter I have read it all—every bitter word of it I have tasted How differently she writes—look even at the flowing hand—the moment she begins to speak of Lady Anne Percival then her soul breaks out Lady Anne has offered to take her to Oaklypark—she should be extremely happy to go if I please Yes let her go let her go as far from me as possible let her never never see her wretched mother more—Write said Lady Delacour turning hastily to Belinda write in my name and tell her to go to Oaklypark and to be happy
But why should you take it for granted that she cannot be happy with you said Belinda Let us see her—let us try the experiment
No said Lady Delacour no—it is too late I will never condescend in my last moments to beg for that affection to which it may be thought I have forfeited my natural claim
Pride anger and sorrow struggled in her countenance as she spoke She turned her face from Belinda and walked out of the room with dignity
Nothing remains for me to do thought Belinda but to sooth this haughty spirit all other hope I see is vain
At this moment Clarence Hervey who had no suspicion that the gay brilliant Lady Delacour was sinking into the grave had formed a design worthy of his ardent and benevolent character The manner in which her ladyship had spoken of his friend Dr X——— the sigh which she gave at the reflection that she might have been a very different character if she had early had a sensible friend made a great impression upon Mr Hervey Till then he had merely considered her ladyship as an object of amusement and an introduction to high life but he now felt so much interested for her that he determined to exert all his influence to promote her happiness He knew that influence to be considerable not that he was either coxcomb or dupe enough to imagine that Lady Delacour was in love with him he was perfectly sensible that her only wish was to obtain his admiration and he resolved to show her that it could no longer be secured without deserving his esteem Clarence Hervey was a thoroughly generous young man capable of making the greatest sacrifices when encouraged by the hope of doing good he determined to postpone the declaration of his attachment to Belinda that he might devote himself entirely to his new project His plan was to wean Lady Delacour by degrees from dissipation by attaching her to her daughter and to Lady Anne Percival He was sanguine in all his hopes and rapid but not unthinking in all his decisions From Lady Delacour he went immediately to Dr X——— to whom he communicated his designs
I applaud your benevolent intentions said the doctor but have you really the presumption to hope that an ingenuous young man of fourandtwenty can reform a veteran coquet of fourandthirty
Lady Delacour is not yet thirty said Clarence but the older she is the better the chance of her giving up a losing game She has an admirable understanding and she will soon—I mean as soon as she is acquainted with Lady Anne Percival—discover that she has mistaken the road to happiness All the difficulty will be to make them fairly acquainted with each other for this my dear doctor I must trust to you Do you prepare Lady Anne to tolerate Lady Delacours faults and I will prepare Lady Delacour to tolerate Lady Annes virtues
You have generously taken the more difficult task of the two replied Dr X—— Well we shall see what can be done After the birthday Lady Delacour talks of going to Harrowgate you know Oaklypark is not far from Harrowgate so they will have frequent opportunities of meeting But take my word for it nothing can be done till after the birthday for Lady Delacours head is at present full of crape petticoats and horses and carriages and a certain Mrs Luttridge whom she hates with a hatred passing that of women
CHAPTER X — THE MYSTERIOUS BOUDOIR
Accustomed to study human nature Dr X—— had acquired peculiar sagacity in judging of character Notwithstanding the address with which Lady Delacour concealed the real motives for her apparently thoughtless conduct he quickly discovered that the hatred of Mrs Luttridge was her ruling passion Above nine years of continual warfare had exasperated the tempers of both parties and no opportunities of manifesting their mutual antipathy were ever neglected Extravagantly as Lady Delacour loved admiration the highest possible degree of positive praise was insipid to her taste if it did not imply some superiority over the woman whom she considered as a perpetual rival
Now it had been said by the coachmaker that Mrs Luttridge would sport a most elegant new visàvis on the kings birthday Lady Delacour was immediately ambitious to outshine her in equipage and it was this paltry ambition that made her condescend to all the meanness of the transaction by which she obtained Miss Portmans draft and Clarence Herveys two hundred guineas The great the important day at length arrived—her ladyships triumph in the morning at the drawingroom was complete Mrs Luttridges dress Mrs Luttridges visàvis Mrs Luttridges horses were nothing absolutely nothing in comparison with Lady Delacours her ladyship enjoyed the full exultation of vanity and at night she went in high spirits to the ball
Oh my dearest Belinda said she as she left her dressingroom how terrible a thing it is that you cannot go with me—None of the joys of this life are without alloy—Twould be too much to see in one night Mrs Luttridges mortification and my Belindas triumph Adieu my love we shall live to see another birthday it is to be hoped Marriott my drops Oh I have taken them
Belinda after her ladyships departure retired to the library Her time passed so agreeably during Lady Delacours absence that she was surprised when she heard the clock strike twelve
Is it possible thought she that I have spent two hours by myself in a library without being tired of my existence—How different are my feelings now from what they would have been in the same circumstances six months ago—I should then have thought the loss of a birthnight ball a mighty trial of temper It is singular that my having spent a winter with one of the most dissipated women in England should have sobered my mind so completely If I had never seen the utmost extent of the pleasures of the world as they are called my imagination might have misled me to the end of my life but now I can judge from my own experience and I am convinced that the life of a fine lady would never make me happy Dr X—— told me the other day that he thinks me formed for something better and he is incapable of flattery
The idea of Clarence Hervey was so intimately connected with that of his friend that Miss Portman could seldom separate them in her imagination and she was just beginning to reflect upon the manner in which Clarence looked whilst he declared to Sir Philip Baddely that he would never give up Dr X—— when she was startled by the entrance of Marriott
Oh Miss Portman what shall we do what shall we doMy lady my poor lady cried she
What is the matter said Belinda
The horses—the young horses—Oh I wish my lady had never seen them Oh my lady my poor lady what will become of her
It was some minutes before Belinda could obtain from Marriott any intelligible account of what had happened
All I know maam is what James has just told me said Marriott My lady gave the coachman orders upon no account to let Mrs Luttridges carriage get before hers Mrs Luttridges coachman would not give up the point either My ladys horses were young and ill broke they tell me and there was no managing of them no ways The carriages got somehow across one another and my lady was overturned and all smashed to atoms Oh maam continued Marriott if it had not been for Mr Hervey they say my lady would never have been got out of the crowd alive Hes bringing her home in his own carriage God bless him
But is Lady Delacour hurt cried Belinda
She must—to be sure she must maam cried Marriott putting her hand upon her bosom But let her be ever so much hurt my lady will keep it to herself the footmen swear she did not give a scream not a single scream so its their opinion she was no ways hurt—but that I know cant be—and indeed they are thinking so much about the carriage that they cant give one any rational account of any thing and as for myself Im sure Im in such a flutter Lord knows I advised my lady not to go with the young horses no later than—
Hark cried Belinda here they are She ran down stairs instantly The first object that she saw was Lady Delacour in convulsions—the streetdoor was open—the hall was crowded with servants Belinda made her way through them and in a calm voice requested that Lady Delacour might immediately be brought to her own dressingroom and that she should there be left to Marriotts care and hers Mr Hervey assisted in carrying Lady Delacour—she came to her senses as they were taking her up stairs Set me down set me down she exclaimed I am not hurt—I am quite well—Wheres Marriott Wheres Miss Portman
Here we are—you shall be carried quite safely—trust to me said Belinda in a firm tone and do not struggle
Lady Delacour submitted she was in agonizing pain but her fortitude was so great that she never uttered a groan It was the constraint which she had put upon herself by endeavouring not to scream which threw her into convulsions She is hurt—I am sure she is hurt though she will not acknowledge it cried Clarence Hervey My ankle is sprained thats all said Lady Delacour—lay me on this sofa and leave me to Belinda
Whats all this cried Lord Delacour staggering into the room he was much intoxicated and in this condition had just come home as they were carrying Lady Delacour up stairs he could not be made to understand the truth but as soon as he heard Clarence Herveys voice he insisted upon going up to his wifes dressingroom It was a very unusual thing but neither Champfort nor any one else could restrain him the moment that he had formed this idea he forced his way into the room
Whats all this—Colonel Lawless said he addressing himself to Clarence Hervey whom in the confusion of his mind he mistook for the colonel the first object of his jealousy Colonel Lawless cried his lordship you are a villain I always knew it
Softly—shes in great pain my lord said Belinda catching Lord Delacours arm just as he was going to strike Clarence Hervey She led him to the sofa where Lady Delacour lay and uncovering her ankle which was much swelled showed it to him His lordship who was a humane man was somewhat moved by this appeal to his remaining senses and he began roaring as loud as he possibly could for arquebusade
Lady Delacour rested her head upon the back of the sofa her hands moved with convulsive twitches—she was perfectly silent Marriott was in a great bustle running backwards and forwards for she knew not what and continually repeating I wish nobody would come in here but Miss Portman and me My lady says nobody must come in Lord bless me my lord here too
Have you any arquebusade Marriott Arquebusade for your lady directly cried his lordship following her to the door of the boudoir where she was going for some drops
Oh my lord you cant come in I assure you my lord theres nothing here my lord nothing of the sort said Marriott setting her back against the door Her terror and embarrassment instantly recalled all the jealous suspicions of Lord Delacour Woman cried he I will see whom you have in this room—You have some one concealed there and I will go in Then with brutal oaths he dragged Marriott from the door and snatched the key from her struggling hand
Lady Delacour started up and gave a scream of agony My lord—Lord Delacour cried Belinda springing forward hear me
Lord Delacour stopped short Tell me then cried Lord Delacour is not a lover of Lady Delacours concealed there No—No—No answered Belinda Then a lover of Miss Portman said Lord Delacour Gad we have hit it now I believe
Believe whatever you please my lord said Belinda hastily but give me the key
Clarence Hervey drew the key from Lord Delacours hand gave it to Miss Portman without looking at her and immediately withdrew Lord Delacour followed him with a sort of drunken laugh and no one remained in the room but Marriott Belinda and Lady Delacour Marriott was so much fluttered as she said that she could do nothing Miss Portman locked the room door and began to undress Lady Delacour who lay motionless Are we by ourselves said Lady Delacour opening her eyes
Yes—are you much hurt said Belinda Oh you are a charming girl said Lady Delacour Who would have thought you had so much presence of mind and courage—have you the key safe Here it is said Belinda producing it and she repeated her question Are you much hurt I am not in pain now said Lady Delacour but I have suffered terribly If I could get rid of all this finery if you could put me to bed I could sleep perhaps
Whilst Belinda was undressing Lady Delacour she shrieked several times but between every interval of pain she repeated I shall be better tomorrow As soon as she was in bed she desired Marriott to give her double her usual quantity of laudanum for that all the inclination which she had felt to sleep was gone and that she could not endure the shooting pains that she felt in her breast
Leave me alone with your lady Marriott said Miss Portman taking the bottle of laudanum from her trembling hand and go to bed for I am sure you are not able to sit up any longer
As she spoke she took Marriott into the adjoining dressingroom Oh dear Miss Portman said Marriott who was sincerely attached to her lady and who at this instant forgot all her jealousies and all her love of power Ill do any thing you ask me but pray let me stay in the room though I know Im quite helpless It will be too much for you to be here all night by yourself The convulsions may take my lady What shrieks she gives every now and then—and nobody knows whats the matter but ourselves and every body in the house is asking me why a surgeon is not sent for if my lady is so much hurt Oh I cant answer for it to my conscience to have kept the matter secret so long for to be sure a physician if had in time might have saved my lady—but now nothing can save her And here Marriott burst into tears
Why don t you give me the laudanum cried Lady Delacour in a loud peremptory voice Give it to me instantly—No said Miss Portman firmly—Hear me Lady Delacour—you must allow me to judge for you know that you are not in a condition to judge for yourself or rather you must allow me to send for a physician who may judge for us both
A physician cried Lady Delacour Never—never I charge you let no physician be sent for Remember your promise you cannot betray me—you will not betray me
No said Belinda of that I have given sufficient proof—but you will betray yourself it is already known by your servants that you have been hurt by the overturn of your carriage if you do not let either a surgeon or physician see you it will excite surprise and suspicion It is not in your power when violent pain seizes you to refrain from————
It is interrupted Lady Delacour not another scream shall you hear—only do not do not my dear Belinda send for a physician
You will throw yourself again into convulsions said Belinda Marriott you see has lost all command of herself—I shall not have strength to manage you—perhaps I may lose my presence of mind—I cannot answer for myself—your husband may desire to see you
No danger of that said Lady Delacour tell him my ankle is sprained—tell him I am bruised all over—tell him any thing you will—he will not trouble himself any more about me—he will forget all that passed tonight by the time he is sober Oh give me the laudanum dearest Belinda and say no more about physicians
It was in vain to reason with Lady Delacour Belinda attempted to persuade her For my sake dear Lady Delacour said she let me send for Dr X——— he is a man of honour your secret will be perfectly safe with him
He will tell it to Clarence Hervey said Lady Delacour of all men living I would not send for Dr X——— I will not see him if he comes
Then said Belinda calmly but with a fixed determination of countenance I must leave you tomorrow morning—I must return to Bath
Leave me remember your promise
Circumstances have occurred about which I have made no promise said Belinda I must leave you unless you will now give me your permission to send for Dr X———
Lady Delacour hesitated You see continued Belinda that I am in earnest when I am gone you will have no friend left when I am gone your secret will inevitably be discovered for without me Marriott will not have sufficient strength of mind to keep it
Do you think we might trust Dr X——— said Lady Delacour
I am sure you may trust him said Belinda with energy I will pledge my life upon his honour
Then send for him since it must be so said Lady Delacour
No sooner had the words passed Lady Delacours lips than Belinda flew to execute her orders Marriott recovered her senses when she heard that her ladyship had consented to send for a physician but she declared that she could not conceive how any thing less than the power of magic could have brought her lady to such a determination
Belinda had scarcely despatched a servant for Dr X—— when Lady Delacour repented of the permission she had given and all that could be said to pacify only irritated her temper She became delirious Belindas presence of mind never forsook her she remained quietly beside the bed waiting for the arrival of Dr X—— and she absolutely refused admittance to the servants who drawn by their ladys outrageous cries continually came to her door with offers of assistance
About four oclock the doctor arrived and Miss Portman was relieved from some of her anxiety He assured her that there was no immediate danger and he promised that the secret which she had entrusted to him should be faithfully kept He remained with her some hours till Lady Delacour became more quiet and fell asleep exhausted with delirious exertions—I think I may now leave you said Dr X—— but as he was going through the dressingroom Belinda stopped him—Now that I have time to think of myself said she let me consult you as my friend I am not used to act entirely for myself and I shall be most grateful if you will assist me with your advice I hate all mysteries but I feel myself bound in honour to keep the secret with which Lady Delacour has entrusted me Last night I was so circumstanced that I could not extricate her ladyship without exposing myself to—to suspicion
Miss Portman then related all that had passed about the mysterious door which Lord Delacour in his fit of drunken jealousy had insisted upon breaking open
Mr Hervey continued Belinda was present when all this happened—he seemed much surprised I should be sorry that he should remain in an error which might be fatal to my reputation—you know a woman ought not even to be suspected yet how to remove this suspicion I know not because I cannot enter into any explanation without betraying Lady Delacour—she has I know a peculiar dread of Mr Herveys discovering the truth
And is it possible cried Dr X—— that any woman should be so meanly selfish as thus to expose the reputation of her friend merely to preserve her own vanity from mortification
Hush—dont speak so loud said Belinda you will awaken her and at present she is certainly more an object of pity than of indignation—If you will have the goodness to come with me I will take you by a back staircase up to the mysterious boudoir I am not too proud to give positive proofs of my speaking truth the key of that room now lies on Lady Delacours bed—it was that which she grasped in her hand during her delirium—she has now let it fall—it opens both the doors of the boudoir—you shall see added Miss Portman with a smile that I am not afraid to let you unlock either of them
As a polite man said Dr X—— I believe that I should absolutely refuse to take any external evidence of a ladys truth but demonstration is unanswerable even by enemies and I will not sacrifice your interests to the foppery of my politeness—so I am ready to follow you The curiosity of the servants may have been excited by last nights disturbance and I see no method so certain as that which you propose of preventing busy rumour That goddess let Ovid say what he pleases was born and bred in a kitchen or a servants hall—But continued Dr X—— my dear Miss Portman you will put a stop to a number of charming stories by this prudence of yours—a romance called the Mysterious Boudoir of nine volumes at least might be written on this subject if you would only condescend to act like almost all other heroines that is to say without common sense
The doctor now followed Belinda and satisfied himself by ocular demonstration that this cabinet was the retirement of disease and not of pleasure
It was about eight oclock in the morning when Dr X—— got home he found Clarence Hervey waiting for him Clarence seemed to be in great agitation though he endeavoured with all the power which he possessed over himself to suppress his emotion
You have been to see Lady Delacour said he calmly is she much hurt—It was a terrible accident
She has been much hurt said Dr X—— and she has been for some hours delirious but ask me no more questions now for I am asleep and must go to bed unless you have any thing to say that can waken me you look as if some great misfortune had befallen you what is the matter
Oh my dear friend said Hervey taking his hand do not jest with me I am not able to bear your raillery in my present temper—in one word I fear that Belinda is unworthy of my esteem I can tell you no more except that I am more miserable than I thought any woman could make me
You are in a prodigious hurry to be miserable said Dr X—— Upon my word I think you would make a mighty pretty hero in a novel you take things very properly for granted and stretched out upon that sofa you act the distracted lover vastly well—and to complete the matter you cannot tell me why you are more miserable than ever man or hero was before I must tell you then that you have still more cause for jealousy than you suspect Ay start—every jealous man starts at the sound of the word jealousy—a certain symptom this of the disease
You mistake me cried Clarence Hervey no man is less disposed to jealousy than I am—but——
But your mistress—no not your mistress for you have never yet declared to her your attachment—but the lady you admire will not let a drunken man unlock a door and you immediately suppose—
She has mentioned the circumstance to you exclaimed Hervey in a joyful tone then she must be innocent
Admirable reasoning—I was going to have told you just now if you would have suffered me to speak connectedly that you have more reason for jealousy than you suspect for Miss Portman has actually unlocked for me—for me look at me—the door the mysterious door—and whilst I live and whilst she lives we can neither of us ever tell you the cause of the mystery All I can tell you is that no lover is in the case upon my honour—and now if you should ever mistake curiosity in your own mind for jealousy expect no pity from me
I should deserve none said Clarence Hervey you have made me the happiest of men
The happiest of men—No no keep that superlative exclamation for a future occasion But now you behave like a reasonable creature you deserve to hear the praises of your Belinda—I am so much charmed with her that I wish—
When can I see her interrupted Hervey Ill go to her this instant
Gently said Dr X—— you forget what time of the day it is—you forget that Miss Portman has been up all night—that Lady Delacour is extremely ill—and that this would be the most unseasonable opportunity you could possibly choose for your visit
To this observation Clarence Hervey assented but he immediately seized a pen from the doctors writing table and began a letter to Belinda The doctor threw himself upon the sofa saying Waken me when you want me and in a few minutes he was fast asleep
Doctor upon second thoughts said Clarence rising suddenly and tearing his letter down the middle I cannot write to her yet—I forgot the reformation of Lady Delacour how soon do you think she will be well Besides I have another reason for not writing to Belinda at present—you must know my dear doctor that I have or had another mistress
Another mistress indeed cried Dr X—— trying to waken himself
Good Heavens I do believe youve been asleep
I do believe I have
But is it possible that you could fall sound asleep in that time
Very possible said the doctor what is there so extraordinary in a mans falling asleep Men are apt to sleep sometime within the fourandtwenty hours unless they have halfadozen mistresses to keep them awake as you seem to have my good friend
A servant now came into the room with a letter that had just arrived express from the country for Dr X——
This is another affair cried he rousing himself
The letter required the doctors immediate attendance He shook hands with Clarence Hervey My dear friend I am really concerned that I cannot stay to hear the history of your six mistresses but you see that this is an affair of life and death
Farewell said Clarence I have not six I have only three goddesses even if you count Lady Delacour for one But I really wanted your advice in good earnest
If your case be desperate you can write cannot you Direct to me at Hortonhall Cambridge In the mean time as far as general rules go I can give you my advice gratis in the formula of an old Scotch song——
Tis good to be merry and wise
Tis good to be honest and true
Tis good to be off with the old love
Before you be on with the new
CHAPTER XI — DIFFICULTIES
Before he left town Dr X—— called in Berkeleysquare to see Lady Delacour he found that she was out of all immediate danger Miss Portman was sorry that he was obliged to quit her at this time but she felt the necessity for his going he was sent for to attend Mr Horton an intimate friend of his a gentleman of great talents and of the most active benevolence who had just been seized with a violent fever in consequence of his exertions in saving the poor inhabitants of a village in his neighbourhood from the effects of a dreadful fire which broke out in the middle of the night
Lady Delacour who heard Dr X—— giving this account to Belinda drew back her curtain and said Go this instant doctor—I am out of all immediate danger you say but if I were not—I must die in the course of a few months you knowand what is my life compared with the chance of saving your excellent friend He is of some use in the world—I am of nonego this instant doctor
What a pity said Dr X——— as he left the room that a woman who is capable of so much magnanimity should have wasted her life on petty objects
Her life is not yet at an end—oh sir if you could save her cried Belinda
Doctor X—— shook his head but returning to Belinda after going half way down stairs he added when you read this paper you will know all that I can tell you upon the subject
Belinda the moment the doctor was gone shut herself up in her own room to read the paper which he had given to her Dr X—— first stated that he was by no means certain that Lady Delacour really had the complaint which she so much dreaded but it was impossible for him to decide without farther examination to which her ladyship could not be prevailed upon to submit Then he mentioned all that he thought would be most efficacious in mitigating the pain that Lady Delacour might feel and all that could be done with the greatest probability of prolonging her life And he concluded with the following words These are all temporizing expedients according to the usual progress of the disease Lady Delacour may live a year or perhaps two
It is possible that her life might be saved by a skilful surgeon By a few words that dropped from her ladyship last night I apprehend that she has some thoughts of submitting to an operation which will be attended with much pain and danger even if she employ the most experienced surgeon in London but if she put herself from a vain hope of secrecy into ignorant hands she will inevitably destroy herself
After reading this paper Belinda had some faint hopes that Lady Delacours life might be saved but she determined to wait till Dr X——should return to town before she mentioned his opinion to his patient and she earnestly hoped that no idea of putting herself into ignorant hands would recur to her ladyship
Lord Delacour in the morning when he was sober retained but a confused idea of the events of the preceding night but he made an awkwardly goodnatured apology to Miss Portman for his intrusion and for the disturbance he had occasioned which he said must be laid to the blame of Lord Studleys admirable burgundy He expressed much concern for Lady Delacours terrible accident but he could not help observing that if his advice had been taken the thing could not have happened—that it was the consequence of her ladyships selfwilledness about the young horses
How she got the horses without paying for them or how she got money to pay for them I know not said his lordship for I said I would have nothing to do with the business and I have kept to my resolution
His lordship finished his morning visit to Miss Portman by observing that the house would now be very dull for her that the office of a nurse was illsuited to so young and beautiful a lady but that her undertaking it with so much cheerfulness was a proof of a degree of goodnature that was not always to be met with in the young and handsome
The manner in which Lord Delacour spoke convinced Belinda that he was in reality attached to his wife however the fear of being or of appearing to be governed by her ladyship might have estranged him from her and from home She now saw in him much more good sense and symptoms of a more amiable character than his lady had described or than she ever would allow that he possessed
The reflections however which Miss Portman made upon the miserable life this illmatched couple led together did not incline her in favour of marriage in general great talents on one side and goodnature on the other had in this instance tended only to make each party unhappy Matches of interest convenience and vanity she was convinced diminished instead of increasing happiness Of domestic felicity she had never except during her childhood seen examples—she had indeed heard from Dr X—— descriptions of the happy family of Lady Anne Percival but she feared to indulge the romantic hope of ever being loved by a man of superior genius and virtue with a temper and manners suited to her taste The only person she had seen who at all answered this description was Mr Hervey and it was firmly fixed in her mind that he was not a marrying man and consequently not a man of whom any prudent woman would suffer herself to think with partiality She could not doubt that he liked her society and conversation his manner had sometimes expressed more than cold esteem Lady Delacour had assured her that it expressed love but Lady Delacour was an imprudent woman in her own conduct and not scrupulous as to that of others Belinda was not guided by her opinions of propriety and now that her ladyship was confined to her bed and not in a condition to give her either advice or protection she felt that it was peculiarly incumbent on her to guard not only her conduct from reproach but her heart from the hopeless misery of an illplaced attachment She examined herself with firm impartiality she recollected the excessive pain that she had endured when she first heard Clarence Hervey say that Belinda Portman was a compound of art and affectation but this she thought was only the pain of offended pride—of proper pride She recollected the extreme anxiety she had felt even within the last fourandtwenty hours concerning the opinion which he might form of the transaction about the key of the boudoir—but this anxiety she justified to herself it was due she thought to her reputation it would have been inconsistent with female delicacy to have been indifferent about the suspicions that necessarily arose from the circumstances in which she was placed Before Belinda had completed her selfexamination Clarence Hervey called to inquire after Lady Delacour Whilst he spoke of her ladyship and of his concern for the dreadful accident of which he believed himself to be in a great measure the cause his manner and language were animated and unaffected but the moment that this subject was exhausted he became embarrassed though he distinctly expressed perfect confidence and esteem for her he seemed to wish and yet to be unable to support the character of a friend contradistinguished to an admirer He seemed conscious that he could not with propriety advert to the suspicions and jealousy which he had felt the preceding night for a man who has never declared love would be absurd and impertinent were he to betray jealousy Clarence was destitute neither of address nor presence of mind but an accident happened when he was just taking leave of Miss Portman which threw him into utter confusion It surprised if it did not confound Belinda She had forgotten to ask Dr X—— for his direction and as she thought it might be necessary to write to him concerning Lady Delacours health she begged of Mr Hervey to give it to her He took a letter out of his pocket and wrote the direction with a pencil but as he opened the paper to tear off the outside on which he had been writing a lock of hair dropped out of the letter he hastily stooped for it and as he took it up from the ground the lock unfolded Belinda though she cast but one involuntary hasty glance at it was struck with the beauty of its colour and its uncommon length The confusion of Clarence Hervey convinced her that he was extremely interested about the person to whom the hair belonged and the species of alarm which she had felt at this discovery opened her eyes effectually to the state of her own heart She was sensible that the sight of a lock of hair however long or however beautiful in the hands of any man but Clarence Hervey could not possibly have excited any emotion in her mind Fortunately thought she I have discovered that he is attached to another whilst it is yet in my power to command my affections and he shall see that I am not so weak as to form any false expectations from what I must now consider as mere commonplace flattery Belinda was glad that Lady Delacour was not present at the discovery of the lock of hair as she was aware that she would have rallied her unmercifully upon the occasion and she rejoiced that she had not been prevailed upon to give Madame la Comtesse de Pomenars a lock of her belle chevelure She could not help thinking from the recollection of several minute circumstances that Clarence Hervey had endeavoured to gain an interest in her affections and she felt that there would be great impropriety in receiving his ambiguous visits during Lady Delacours confinement to her room She therefore gave orders that Mr Hervey should not in future be admitted till her ladyship should again see company This precaution proved totally superfluous for Mr Hervey never called again during the whole course of Lady Delacours confinement though his servant regularly came every morning with inquiries after her ladyships health She kept her room for about ten days a confinement to which she submitted with extreme impatience bodily pain she bore with fortitude but constraint and ennui she could not endure
One morning as she was sitting up in bed looking over a large collection of notes and cards of inquiry after her health she exclaimed—
These people will soon be tired of4 bidding their footman put it into their heads to inquire whether I am alive or dead—I must appear amongst them again if it be only for a few minutes or they will forget me When I am fatigued I will retire and you my dear Belinda shall represent me so tell them to open my doors and unmuffle the knocker let me hear the sound of music and dancing and let the house be filled again for Heavens sake Dr Zimmermann should never have been my physician for he would have prescribed solitude Now solitude and silence are worse for me than poppy and mandragora It is impossible to tell how much silence tires the ears of those who have not been used to it For mercys sake Marriott continued her ladyship turning to Marriott who just then came softly into the room for mercys sake dont walk to all eternity on tiptoes to see people gliding about like ghosts makes me absolutely fancy myself amongst the shades below I would rather be stunned by the loudest peal that ever thundering footman gave at my door than hear Marriott lock that boudoir as if my life depended on my not hearing the key turned
Dear me I never knew any lady that was ill except my lady complain of ones not making a noise to disturb her said Marriott
Then to please you Marriott I will complain of the only noise that does or ever did disturb me—the screaming of your odious macaw
Now Marriott had a prodigious affection for this macaw and she defended it with as much eagerness as if it had been her child
Odious O dear my lady to call my poor macaw odious—I didnt expect it would ever have come to this—I am sure I dont deserve it—Im sure I dont deserve that my lady should have taken such a dislike to me
And here Marriott actually burst into tears But my dear Marriott said Lady Delacour I only object to your macaw—may not I dislike your macaw without disliking you—I have heard of love me love my dog but I never heard of love me love my bird—did you Miss Portman
Marriott turned sharply round upon Miss Portman and darted a fiery look at her through the midst of her tears Then tis plain said she who Im to thank for this and as she left the room her lady could not complain of her shutting the door after her too gently
Give her three minutes grace and she will come to her senses said Lady Delacour for she is not a bankrupt in sense Oh three minutes wont do I must allow her three days grace I perceive said Lady Delacour when Marriott half an hour afterward reappeared with a face which might have sat for the picture of illhumour Her illhumour however did not prevent her from attending her lady as usual she performed all her customary offices with the most officious zeal but in profound silence except every now and then she would utter a sigh which seemed to say See how much Im attached to my lady and yet my lady hates my macaw Her lady who perfectly understood the language of sighs and felt the force of Marriotts forbore to touch again on the tender subject of the macaw hoping that when her house was once more filled with company she should be relieved by more agreeable noises from continually hearing this pertinacious tormentor
As soon as it was known that Lady Delacour was sufficiently recovered to receive company her door was crowded with carriages and as soon as it was understood that balls and concerts were to go on as usual at her house her troops of friends appeared to congratulate her and to amuse themselves
How stupid it is said Lady Delacour to Belinda to hear congratulatory speeches from people who would not care if I were in the black hole at Calcutta this minute but we must take the world as it goes—dirt and precious stones mixed together Clarence Hervey however na pas une ame de boue he I am sure has been really concerned for me he thinks that his young horses were the sole cause of the whole evil and he blames himself so sincerely and so unjustly that I really was half tempted to undeceive him but that would have been doing him an injury for you know great philosophers tell us that there is no pleasure in the world equal to that of being well deceived especially by the fair sex Seriously Belinda is it my fancy or is not Clarence wonderfully changed Is not he grown pale and thin and serious not to say melancholy What have you done to him since I have been ill
Nothing—I have never seen him
No then the thing is accounted for very naturally—he is in despair because he has been banished from your divine presence
More likely because he has been in anxiety about your ladyship said Belinda
I will find out the cause let it be what it may said Lady Delacour luckily my address is equal to my curiosity and that is saying a great deal
Notwithstanding all her ladyships address her curiosity was baffled she could not discover Clarence Herveys secret and she began to believe that the change which she had noticed in his looks and manner was imaginary or accidental Had she seen more of him at this time she would not have so easily given up her suspicions but she saw him only for a few minutes every day and during that time he talked to her with all his former gaiety besides Lady Delacour had herself a daily part to perform which occupied almost her whole attention Notwithstanding the vivacity which she affected Belinda perceived that she was now more seriously alarmed than she had ever been about her health It was all that her utmost exertions could accomplish to appear for a short time in the day—some evenings she came into company only for half an hour on other days only for a few minutes just walked through the rooms paid her compliments to every body complained of a nervous headache left Belinda to do the honours for her and retired
Miss Portman was now really placed in a difficult and dangerous situation and she had ample opportunities of learning and practising prudence All the fashionable dissipated young men in London frequented Lady Delacours house and it was said that they were drawn thither by the attractions of her fair representative The gentlemen considered a niece of Mrs Stanhope as their lawful prize The ladies wondered that the men could think Belinda Portman a beauty but whilst they affected to scorn they sincerely feared her charms Thus left entirely to her own discretion she was exposed at once to the malignant eye of envy and the insidious voice of flattery—she had no friend no guide and scarcely a protector her aunt Stanhopes letters indeed continually supplied her with advice but with advice which she could not follow consistently with her own feelings and principles Lady Delacour even if she had been well was not a person on whose counsels she could rely our heroine was not one of those daring spirits who are ambitious of acting for themselves she felt the utmost diffidence of her own powers yet at the same time a firm resolution not to be led even by timidity into follies which the example of Lady Delacour had taught her to despise Belindas prudence seemed to increase with the necessity for its exertion It was not the mercenary wily prudence of a young lady who has been taught to think it virtue to sacrifice the affections of her heart to the interests of her fortune—it was not the prudence of a cold and selfish but of a modest and generous woman She found it most difficult to satisfy herself in her conduct towards Clarence Hervey he seemed mortified and miserable if she treated him merely as a common acquaintance yet she felt the danger of admitting him to the familiarity of friendship Had she been thoroughly convinced that he was attached to some other woman she hoped that she could freely converse with him and look upon him as a married man but notwithstanding the lock of beautiful hair she could not entirely divest herself of the idea that she was beloved when she observed the extreme eagerness with which Clarence Hervey watched all her motions and followed her with his eye as if his fate depended upon her She remarked that he endeavoured as much as possible to prevent this species of attention from being noticed either by the public or by herself his manner towards her every day became more distant and respectful more constrained and embarrassed but now and then a different look and expression escaped She had often heard of Mr Herveys great address in affairs of gallantry and she was sometimes inclined to believe that he was trifling with her merely for the glory of a conquest over her heart at other times she suspected him of deeper designs upon her such as would deserve contempt and detestation but upon the whole she was disposed to believe that he was entangled by some former attachment from which he could not extricate himself with honour and upon this supposition she thought him worthy of her esteem and of her pity
About this time Sir Philip Baddely began to pay a sort of lounging attention to Belinda he knew that Clarence Hervey liked her and this was the principal cause of his desire to attract her attention Belinda Portman became his favourite toast and amongst his companions he gave himself the air of talking of her with rapture
Rochfort said he one day to his friend damme if I was to think of Belinda Portman in any way—you take me—Clary would look damned blue—hey—damned blue and devilish small and cursed silly too—hey
Pon honour I should like to see him said Rochfort pon honour he deserves it from us Sir Phil and Ill stand your friend with the girl and it will do no harm to give her a hint of Clarys Windsor flame as a dead secret—pon honour he deserves it from us
Now it seems that Sir Philip Baddely and Mr Rochfort during the time of Clarence Herveys intimacy with them observed that he paid frequent visits at Windsor and they took it into their heads that he kept a mistress there They were very curious to see her and unknown to Clarence they made several attempts for this purpose at last one evening when they were certain that he was not at Windsor they scaled the high garden wall of the house which he frequented and actually obtained a sight of a beautiful young girl and an elderly lady whom they took for her gouvernante This adventure they kept a profound secret from Clarence because they knew that he would have quarrelled with them immediately and would have called them to account for their intrusion They now determined to avail themselves of their knowledge and of his ignorance of this circumstance but they were sensible that it was necessary to go warily to work lest they should betray themselves Accordingly they began by dropping distant mysterious hints about Clarence Hervey to Lady Delacour and Miss Portman Such for instance as—Damme we all know Clarys a perfect connoisseur in beauty—hey Rochfort—one beauty at a time is not enough for him—hey damme And it is not fashion nor wit nor elegance and all that that he looks for always
These observations were accompanied with the most significant looks Belinda heard and saw all this in painful silence but Lady Delacour often used her address to draw some farther explanation from Sir Philip his regular answer was No no your ladyship must excuse me there I cant peach dammehey Rochfort
He was in hopes from the reserve with which Miss Portman began to treat Clarence that he should without making any distinct charge succeed in disgusting her with his rival Mr Hervey was about this time less assiduous than formerly in his visits at Lady Delacours Sir Philip was there every day and often for Miss Portmans entertainment exerted himself so far as to tell the news of the town One morning when Clarence Hervey happened to be present the baronet thought it incumbent upon him to eclipse his rival in conversation and he began to talk of the last fête champêtre at Frogmore
What a cursed unlucky overturn that was of yours Lady Delacour with those famous young horses Why what with this sprain and this nervous business youve not been able to stir out since the birthday and youve missed the breakfast and all that at Frogmore—why all the world stayed broiling in town on purpose for it and you that had a card too—how damned provoking
I regret extremely that my illness prevented me from being at this charming fête I regret it more on Miss Portmans account than on my own said her ladyship Belinda assured her that she felt no mortification from the disappointment
O damme but I would have driven you in my curricle said Sir Philip it was the finest sight and best conducted I ever saw and only wanted Miss Portman to make it complete We had gipsies and Mrs Mills the actress for the queen of the gipsies and she gave us a famous good song Rochfort you know—and then there was two children upon an ass—damme I dont know how they came there for theyre things one sees every day—and belonged only to two of the soldiers wives—for we had the whole band of the Staffordshire playing at dinner and we had some famous glees—and Fawcett gave us his laughing song and then we had the launching of the ship and only it was a boat it would have been well enough—but damme the song of Polly Oliver was worth the whole—except the Flemish Hercules Ducrow you know dressed in light blue and silver and—Miss Portman I wish you had seen this—three great coachwheels on his chin and a ladder and two chairs and two children on them—and after that he sported a musquet and bayonet with the point of the bayonet on his chin—faith that was really famous But I forgot the Pyrrhic dance Miss Portman which was damned fine too—danced in boots and spurs by those Hungarian fellows—they jump and turn about and clap their knees with their hands and put themselves in all sorts of ways—and then we had that song of Polly Oliver as I told you before and Mrs Mills gave us—no no—it was a drummer of the Staffordshire dressed as a gipsy girl gave us the cottage on the moor the most charming thing and would suit your voice Miss Portman—damme youd sing it like an angel——But where was I—Oh then they had tea—and fireplaces built of brick out in the air—and then the entrance to the ballroom was all a colonnade done with lamps and flowers and that sort of thing—and there was some bonmot but that was in the morning amongst the gipsies about an orange and the stadtholder—and then there was a Turkish dance and a Polonese dance all very fine but nothing to come up to the Pyrrhic touch which was a great deal the most knowing in boots and spurs—damme now I cant describe the thing to you tis a cursed pity you werent there damme
Lady Delacour assured Sir Philip that she had been more entertained by the description than she could have been by the reality—Clarence was not it the best description you ever heard But pray favour us with a touch of the Pyrrhic dance Sir Philip
Lady Delacour spoke with such polite earnestness and the baronet had so little penetration and so much conceit that he did not suspect her of irony he eagerly began to exhibit the Pyrrhic dance but in such a manner that it was impossible for human gravity to withstand the sight—Rochfort laughed first Lady Delacour followed him and Clarence Hervey and Belinda could no longer restrain themselves
Damme now I believe youve all been quizzing me cried the baronet and he fell into a sulky silence eyeing Clarence Hervey and Miss Portman from time to time with what he meant for a knowing look His silence and sulkiness lasted till Clarence took his leave Soon afterward Belinda retired to the musicroom Sir Philip then begged to speak a few words to Lady Delacour with a face of much importance and after a preamble of nonsensical expletives he said that his regard for her ladyship and Miss Portman made him wish to explain hints which had been dropped from him at times and which he could not explain to her satisfaction without a promise of inviolable secresy As Hervey is or was a sort of a friend I cant mention this sort of thing without such a preliminary—Lady Delacour gave the preliminary promise and Sir Philip informed her that people began to take notice that Hervey was an admirer of Miss Portman and that it might be a disadvantage to the young lady as Mr Hervey could have no serious intentions because he had an attachment to his certain knowledge elsewhere
A matrimonial attachment said Lady Delacour
Why damme as to matrimony I cant say but the girls so famously beautiful and Clary has been constant to her so many years——
Many years then she is not young
Oh damme yes she is not more than seventeen—and let her be what else she will shes a famous fine girl I had a sight of her once at Windsor by stealth
And then the baronet described her after his manner—Where Clary keeps her now I cant make out but he has taken her away from Windsor She was then with a gouvernante and is as proud as the devil which smells like matrimony for Clary
And do you know this peerless damsels name
I think the old Jezebel called her Miss St Pierre—ay damme it was Virginia too—Virginia St Pierre
Virginia St Pierre a pretty romantic name said Lady Delacour Miss Portman and I are extremely obliged by your attention to the preservation of our hearts and I promise you we shall keep your counsel and our own
Sir Philip then with more than his usual complement of oaths pronounced Miss Portman to be the finest girl he had ever seen and took his leave
When Lady Delacour repeated this story to Belinda she concluded by saying Now my dear you know Sir Philip Baddely has his own views in telling us all this—in telling you all this for evidently he admires you and consequently hates Clarence So I believe only half the man says and the other half though it has made you turn so horribly pale my love I consider as a thing of no manner of consequence to you
Of no manner of consequence to me I assure your ladyship said Belinda I have always considered Mr Hervey as—
Oh as a common acquaintance no doubt—but well pass over all those pretty speeches I was going to say that this mistress in the wood can be of no consequence to your happiness because whatever that fool Sir Philip may think Clarence Hervey is not a man to go and marry a girl who has been his mistress for half a dozen years Do not look so shocked my dear—I really cannot help laughing I congratulate you however that the thing is no worse—it is all in rule and in course—when a man marries he sets up new equipages and casts off old mistresses or if you like to see the thing as a woman of sentiment rather than as a woman of the world here is the prettiest opportunity for your lovers making a sacrifice I am sorry I cannot make you smile my dear but consider as nobody knows this naughty thing but ourselves we are not called upon to bristle up our morality and the most moral ladies in the world do not expect men to be as moral as themselves so we may suit the measure of our external indignation to our real feelings Sir Philip cannot stir in the business for he knows Clarence would call him out if his secret viz to Virginia were to come to light I advise you daller votre train with Clarence without seeming to suspect him in the least there is nothing like innocence in these cases my dear but I know by the Spanish haughtiness of your air at this instant that you would sooner die the death of the sentimentalthan follow my advice
Belinda without any haughtiness but with firm gentleness replied that she had no designs whatever upon Mr Hervey and that therefore there could be no necessity for any manoeuvring on her part—that the ambiguity of his conduct towards her had determined her long since to guard her affections and that she had the satisfaction to feel that they were entirely under her command
That is a great satisfaction indeed my dear said Lady Delacour It is a pity that your countenance which is usually expressive enough should not at this instant obey your wishes and express perfect felicity But though you feel no pain from disappointed affection doubtless the concern that you show arises from the necessity you are under of withdrawing a portion of your esteem from Mr Hervey—this is the style for you is it not After all my dear the whole maybe a quizzification of Sir Philips—and yet he gave me such a minute description of her person I am sure the man has not invention or taste enough to produce such a fancy piece
Did he mention said Belinda in a low voice the colour of her hair
Yes light brown but the colour of this hair seems to affect you more than all the rest
Here to Belindas great relief the conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Marriott From all she had heard but especially from the agreement between the colour of the hair which dropped from Herveys letter with Sir Philips description of Virginias Miss Portman was convinced that Clarence had some secret attachment and she could not help blaming him in her own mind for having as she thought endeavoured to gain her affections whilst he knew that his heart was engaged to another Mr Hervey however gave her no farther reason to suspect him of any design to win her love for about this time his manner towards her changed—he obviously endeavoured to avoid her his visits were short and his attention was principally directed to Lady Delacour when she retired he took his leave and Sir Philip Baddely had the field to himself The baronet who thought that he had succeeded in producing a coldness between Belinda and his rival was surprised to find that he could not gain any advantage for himself for some time he had not the slightest thoughts of any serious connexion with the lady but at last he was piqued by her indifference and by the raillery of his friend Rochfort
Pon honour said Rochfort the girl must be in love with Clary for she minds you no more than if you were nobody
I could make her sing to another tune if I pleased said Sir Philip but damme it would cost me too much—a wifes too expensive a thing nowadays Why a man could have twenty curricles and a fine stud and a pack of hounds and as many mistresses as he chooses into the bargain for what it would cost him to take a wife Oh damme Belinda Portmans a fine girl but not worth so much as that comes to and yet confound me if I should not like to see how blue Clary would look if I were to propose for her in good earnest—hey Rochfort—I should like to pay him for the way he served us about that quiz of a doctor hey
Ay said Rochfort you know he told us there was a tant pis and a tant mieux in every thing—hes not come to the tant pis yet Pon honour Sir Philip the thing rests with you
The baronet vibrated for some time between the fear of being taken in by one of Mrs Stanhopes nieces and the hope of triumphing over Clarence Hervey At last what he called love prevailed over prudence and he was resolved cost him what it would to have Belinda Portman He had not the least doubt of being accepted if he made a proposal of marriage consequently the moment that he came to this determination he could not help assuming davance the tone of a favoured lover
Damme cried Sir Philip one night at Lady Delacours concert I think that Mr Hervey has taken out a patent for talking to Miss Portman but damme if I give up this place now I have got it cried the baronet seating himself beside Belinda
Mr Hervey did not contest his seat and Sir Philip kept his post during the remainder of the concert but though he had the field entirely to himself he could not think of any thing more interesting more amusing to whisper in Belindas ear than Dont you think the candles want snuffing famously
CHAPTER XII — THE MACAW
The baronet determined the next day upon the grand attack He waited upon Miss Portman with the certainty of being favourably received but he was nevertheless somewhat embarrassed to know how to begin the conversation when he found himself alone with the lady
He twirled and twisted a short stick that he held in his hand and put it into and out of his boot twenty times and at last he began with—Lady Delacours not gone to Harrowgate yet
No her ladyship has not yet felt herself well enough to undertake the journey
That was a cursed unlucky overturn She may thank Clarence Hervey for that its like him—he thinks hes a better judge of horses and wine and every thing else than any body in the world Damme now if I dont believe he thinks nobody else but himself has eyes enough to see that a fine womans a fine woman but Id have him to know that Miss Belinda Portman has been Sir Philip Baddelys toast these two months
As this intelligence did not seem to make the expected impression upon Miss Belinda Portman Sir Philip had recourse again to his little stick with which he went through the sword exercise After a silence of some minutes and after walking to the window and back again as if to look for sense he exclaimed How is Mrs Stanhope now pray Miss Portman and your sister Mrs Tollemache she was the finest woman I thought the first winter she came out that ever I saw damme Have you ever been told that youre like her
Never sir
Oh damn it then but you are only ten times handsomer
Ten times handsomer than the finest woman you ever saw Sir Philip said Belinda smiling
Than the finest woman I had ever seen then said Sir Philip for damme I did not know what it was to be in love then here the baronet heaved an audible sigh I always laughed at love and all that then and marriage particularly Ill trouble you for Mrs Stanhopes direction Miss Portman I believe to do the thing in style I ought to write to her before I speak to you
Belinda looked at him with astonishment and laying down the pencil with which she had just begun to write a direction to Mrs Stanhope she said Perhaps Sir Philip to do the thing in style I ought to pretend at this instant not to understand you but such false delicacy might mislead you permit me therefore to say that if I have any concern in the letter which you are going to write to my aunt Stanhope——
Well guessed interrupted Sir Philip to be sure you have and youre a charming girl—damn me if you arent—for meeting my ideas in this way which will save a cursed deal of trouble added the polite lover seating himself on the sofa beside Belinda
To prevent your giving yourself any further trouble then sir on my account said Miss Portman——
Nay damme dont catch at that unlucky word trouble nor look so cursed angry though it becomes you too uncommonly and I like pride in a handsome woman if it was only for varietys sake for its not what one meets with often nowadays As to trouble all I meant was the trouble of writing to Mrs Stanhope which of course I thank you for saving me for to be sure Id rather and you cant blame me for that have my answer from your own charming lips if it was only for the pleasure of seeing you blush in this heavenly sort of style
To put an end to this heavenly sort of style sir said Belinda withdrawing her hand which the baronet took as if he was confident of its being his willing prize I must explicitly assure you that it is not in my power to encourage your addresses I am fully sensible added Miss Portman of the honour Sir Philip Baddely has done me and I hope he will not be offended by the frankness of my answer
You cant be in earnest Miss Portman exclaimed the astonished baronet
Perfectly in earnest Sir Philip
Confusion seize me cried he starting up if this isnt the most extraordinary thing I ever heard Will you do me the honour madam to let me know your particular objections to Sir Philip Baddely
My objections said Belinda cannot be obviated and therefore it would be useless to state them
Nay pray maam do me the favour—I only ask for information sake—is it to Sir Philip Baddelys fortune 15000l a year you object or to his family or to his person—Oh curse it said he changing his tone youre only quizzing me to see how I should look—damn me you did it too well you little coquet
Belinda again assured him that she was entirely in earnest and that she was incapable of the sort of coquetry which he ascribed to her
Oh damme maam then Ive no more to say—a coquet is a thing I understand as well as another and if we had been only talking in the air it would have been another thing but when I come at once to a proposal in form and a woman seriously tells me she has objections that cannot be obviated damme what must I or what must the world conclude but that shes very unaccountable or that shes engaged—which last I presume to be the case and it would have been a satisfaction to me to have known it sooner—at any rate it is a satisfaction to me to know it now
I am sorry to deprive you of so much satisfaction said Miss Portman by assuring you that I am not engaged to any one
Here the conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Lord Delacour who came to inquire of Miss Portman how his lady did The baronet after twisting his little black stick into all manner of shapes finished by breaking it and then having no other resource suddenly wished Miss Portman a good morning and decamped with a look of silly illhumour He was determined to write to Mrs Stanhope whose influence over her niece he had no doubt would be decisive in his favour Sir Philip seems to be a little out of sorts this morning said Lord Delacour I am afraid hes angry with me for interrupting his conversation but really I did not know he was here and I wanted to catch you a moment alone that I might in the first place thank you for all your goodness to Lady Delacour She has had a tedious sprain of it these nervous fevers and convulsions—I dont understand them but I think Dr X——s prescriptions seem to have done her good for she is certainly better of late and I am glad to hear music and people again in the house because I know all this is what my Lady Delacour likes and there is no reasonable indulgence that I would not willingly allow a wife but I think there is a medium in all things I am not a man to be governed by a wife and when I have once said a thing I like to be steady and always shall And I am sure Miss Portman has too much good sense to think me wrong for now Miss Portman in that quarrel about the coach and horses which you heard part of one morning at breakfast—I must tell you the beginning of that quarrel
Excuse me my lord but I would rather hear of the end than of the beginning of quarrels
That shows your good sense as well as your good nature I wish you could make my Lady Delacour of your taste—she does not want sense—but then I speak to you freely of all that lies upon my mind Miss Portman for I know—I know you have no delight in making mischief in a house between you and me her sense is not of the right kind A woman may have too much wit—now too much is as bad as too little and in a woman worse and when two people come to quarrel then wit on either side but more especially on the wifes you know is very provoking—tis like concealed weapons which are wisely forbidden by law If a person kill another in a fray with a concealed weapon maam by a sword in a cane for instance tis murder by the law Now even if it were not contrary to law I would never have such a thing in my cane to carry about with me for when a mans in a passion he forgets every thing and would as soon lay about him with a sword as with a cane so it is better such a thing should not be in his power And it is the same with wit which would be safest and best out of the power of some people
But is it fair my lord to make use of wit yourself to abuse wit in others said Belinda with a smile which put his lordship into perfect goodhumour with both himself and his lady
Why really said he there would be no living with Lady Delacour if I did not come out with a little sly bit of wit now and then but it is what I am not in the habit of doing I assure you except when very hard pushed But Miss Portman as you like so much to hear the end of quarrels heres the end of one which you have a particular right to hear something of continued his lordship taking out his pocketbook and producing some banknotes you should have received this before madam if I had known of the transaction sooner—of your part of it I mean
Milord de man call to speak about de burgundy you order milord said Champfort who came into the room with a sly inquisitive face
Tell him Ill see him immediately—show him into the parlour and give him a newspaper to read
Yes milord—milord has it in his pocket since he dress
Here it is said his lordship and as Champfort came forward to receive the newspaper his eye glanced at the banknotes and then at Miss Portman
Here continued Lord Delacour as Champfort had left the room here are your two hundred guineas Miss Portman and as I am going to this man about my burgundy and shall be out all the rest of the day let me trouble you the next time you see Lady Delacour to give her this pocketbook from me I should be sorry that Miss Portman from any thing that has passed should run away with the idea that I am a niggardly husband or a tyrant though I certainly like to be master in my own house What are you doing madam—that is your note that does not go into the pocketbook you know
Permit me to put it in my lord said Belinda returning the pocketbook to him and to beg you will give Lady Delacour the pleasure of seeing you she has inquired several times whether your lordship were at home I will run up to her dressingroom and tell her that you are here
How lightly she goes on the wings of goodnature said Lord Delacour I can do no less than follow her for though I like to be treated with respect in my own house there is a time for every thing I would not give Lady Delacour the trouble of coming down here to me with her sprained ankle especially as she has inquired for me several times
His lordships visit was not of unseasonable length for he recollected that the man who came about the burgundy was waiting for him But perhaps the shortness of the visit rendered it the more pleasing for Lady Delacour afterward said to Belinda My dear would you believe it my Lord Delacour was absolutely a perfect example of the useful and agreeable this morning—who knows but he may become the sublime and beautiful in time En attendant here are your two hundred guineas my dear Belinda a thousand thanks for the thing and a million for the manner—manner is all in all in conferring favours My lord who to do him justice has too much honesty to pretend to more delicacy than he really possesses told me that he had been taking a lesson from Miss Portman this morning in the art of obliging and really for a grown gentleman and for the first lesson he comes on surprisingly I do think that by the time he is a widower his lordship will be quite another thing quite an agreeable man—not a genius not a Clarence Hervey—that you cannot expect Apropos what is the reason that we have seen so little of Clarence Hervey lately He has certainly some secret attraction elsewhere It cannot be that girl Sir Philip mentioned no shes nothing new Can it be at Lady Anne Percivals—or where can it be Whenever he sees me I think he asks when we go to Harrowgate Now Oaklypark is within a few miles of Harrowgate I will not go there thats decided Lady Anne is an exemplary matron so she is out of the case but I hope she has no sister excellence no niece no cousin to entangle our hero
Ours said Belinda
Well yours then said Lady Delacour
Mine
Yes yours I never in my life saw a better struggle between a sigh and a smile But what have you done to poor Sir Philip Baddely My Lord Delacour told me—you know all people who have nothing else to say tell news quicker than others—my Lord Delacour told me that he saw Sir Philip part from you this morning in a terrible bad humour Come whilst you tell your story help me to string these pearls that will save you from the necessity of looking at me and will conceal your blushes you need not be afraid of betraying Sir Philips secrets for I could have told you long ago that he would inevitably propose for you—the fact is nothing new or surprising to me but I should really like to hear how ridiculous the man made himself
And that said Belinda is the only thing which I do not wish to tell your ladyship
Lord my dear surely it is no secret that Sir Philip Baddely is ridiculous but you are so goodnatured that I cant be out of humour with you If you wont gratify my curiosity will you gratify my taste and sing for me once more that charming song which none but you can sing to please me—I must learn it from you absolutely
Just as Belinda was beginning to sing Marriotts macaw began to scream so that Lady Delacour could not hear any thing else
Oh that odious macaw cried her ladyship I can endure it no longer and she rang her bell violently it kept me from sleeping all last night—Marriott must give up this bird Marriott I cannot endure that macaw—you must part with it for my sake Marriott It cost you four guineas I am sure I would give five with the greatest pleasure to get rid of it for it is the torment of my life
Dear my lady I can assure you it is only because they will not shut the doors after them below as I desire I am certain Mr Champfort never shut a door after him in his life nor never will if he was to live to the days of Methuselah
That is very little satisfaction to me Marriott said Lady Delacour
And indeed my lady it is very little satisfaction to me to hear my macaw abused as it is every day of my life for Mr Champforts fault
But it cannot be Champforts fault that I have ears
But if the doors were shut my lady you wouldnt or couldnt hear—as Ill prove immediately said Marriott and she ran directly and shut according to her own account eleven doors which were stark staring wide open—Now my lady you cant hear a single syllable of the macaw
No but one of the eleven doors will open presently said Lady Delacour you will observe it is always more than ten to one against me
A door opened and the macaw was heard to scream The macaw must go Marriott that is certain said her ladyship firmly
Then I must go my lady said Marriott angrily that is certain for to part with my macaw is a thing I cannot do to please any body Her eyes turned with indignation upon Belinda from association merely because the last time that she had been angry about her macaw she had also been angry with Miss Portman whom she imagined to be the secret enemy of her favourite
To stay another week in the house after my macaws discarded in disgrace is a thing nothing shall prevail upon me to do She flung out of the room in a fury
Good Heavens am I reduced to this said Lady Delacour she thinks that she has me in her power No I can die without her I have but a short time to live—I will not live a slave Let the woman betray me if she will Follow her this moment my dear generous friend tell her never to come into this room again take this pocketbook pay her whatever is due to her in the first place and give her fifty guineas—observe—not as a bribe but as a reward
It was a delicate and difficult commission Belinda found Marriott at first incapable of listening to reason I am sure there is nobody in the world that would treat me and my macaw in this manner except my lady cried she and somebody must have set her against me for it is not natural to her but since she cant bear me about her any longer tis time I should be gone
The only thing of which Lady Delacour complained was the noise of this macaw said Belinda it was a pretty bird—how long have you had it
Scarcely a month said Marriott sobbing
And how long have you lived with your lady
Six years—And to part with her after all—
And for the sake of a macaw And at a time when your lady is so much in want of you Marriott You know she cannot live long and she has much to suffer before she dies and if you leave her and if in a fit of passion you betray the confidence she has placed in you you will reproach yourself for it ever afterward This bird—or all the birds in the world—will not be able to console you for you are of an affectionate disposition I know and sincerely attached to your poor lady
That I am—and to betray her—Oh Miss Portman I would sooner cut off my hand than do it And I have been tried more than my lady knows of or you either for Mr Champfort who is the greatest mischiefmaker in the world and is the cause by not shutting the door of all this dilemma for now maam Im convinced by the tenderness of your speaking that you are not the enemy to me I supposed and I beg your pardon but I was going to say that Mr Champfort who saw the fracas between my lord and me about the key and the door the night of my ladys accident has whispered it about at Lady Singletons and every where—Mrs Luttridges maid maam who is my cousin has pestered me with so many questions and offers from Mrs Luttridge and Mrs Freke of any money if I would only tell who was in the boudoir—and I have always answered nobody—and I defy them to get any thing out of me Betray my lady Id sooner cut my tongue out this minute Can she have such a base opinion of me or can you maam
No indeed I am convinced that you are incapable of betraying her Marriott but in all probability after you have left her——
If my lady would let me keep my macaw interrupted Marriott I should never think of leaving her
The macaw she will not suffer to remain in the house nor is it reasonable that she should it deprives her of sleep—it kept her awake three hours this morning
Marriott was beginning the history of Champfort and the doors again but Miss Portman stopped her by saying All this is past now How much is due to you Mrs Marriott Lady Delacour has commissioned me to pay you every thing that is due to you
Due to me Lord bless me maam am I to go
Certainly it was your own desire—it is consequently your ladys she is perfectly sensible of your attachment to her and of your services but she cannot suffer herself to be treated with disrespect Here are fifty guineas which she gives you as a reward for your past fidelity not as a bribe to secure your future secresy You are at liberty she desires me to say to tell her secret to the whole world if you choose to do so
Oh Miss Portman take my macaw—do what you will with it—only make my peace with my lady cried Marriott clasping her hands in an agony of grief here are the fifty guineas maam dont leave them with me—I will never be disrespectful again—take my macaw and all No I will carry it myself to my lady
Lady Delacour was surprised by the sudden entrance of Marriott and her macaw The chain which held the bird Marriott put into her ladyships hand without being able to say any thing more than Do what you please my lady with it—and with me
Pacified by this submission Lady Delacour granted Marriotts pardon and she most sincerely rejoiced at this reconciliation
The next day Belinda asked the dowager Lady Boucher who was going to a birdfanciers to take her with her in hopes that she might be able to meet with some bird more musical than a macaw to console Marriott for the loss of her screaming favourite Lady Delacour commissioned Miss Portman to go to any price she pleased If I were able I would accompany you myself my dear for poor Marriotts sake though I would almost as soon go to the Augean stable
There was a birdfancier in High Holborn who had bought several of the hundred and eighty beautiful birds which as the newspapers of the day advertised had been collected after great labour and expense by Mons Marten and Co for the Republican Museum at Paris and lately landed out of the French brig Urselle taken on her voyage from Cayenne to Brest by His Majestys Ship Unicorn
When Lady Boucher and Belinda arrived at this birdfanciers they were long in doubt to which of the feathered beauties they should give the preference Whilst the dowager was descanting upon their various perfections a lady and three children came in she immediately attracted Belindas attention by her likeness to Clarence Herveys description of Lady Anne Percival—it was Lady Anne as Lady Boucher who was slightly acquainted with her informed Belinda in a whisper
The children were soon eagerly engaged looking at the birds
Miss Portman said Lady Boucher as Lady Delacour is so far from well and wishes to have a bird that will not make any noise in the house suppose you were to buy for Mrs Marriott this beautiful pair of green parroquets or stay a goldfinch is not very noisy and here is one that can play a thousand pretty tricks Pray sir make it draw up water in its little bucket for us
Oh mamma said one of the little boys this is the very thing that is mentioned in Bewicks History of Birds Pray look at this goldfinch Helena now it is drawing up its little bucket—but where is Helena heres room for you Helena
Whilst the little boys were looking at the goldfinch Belinda felt somebody touch her gently it was Helena Delacour
Can I speak a few words to you said Helena
Belinda walked to the farthest end of the shop with her
Is my mamma better said she in a timid tone I have some gold fish which you know cannot make the least noise may I send them to her I heard that lady call you Miss Portman I believe you are the lady who wrote such a kind postscript to me in mammas last letter—that is the reason I speak so freely to you now Perhaps you would write to tell me if mamma will see me and Lady Anne Percival would take me at any time I am sure—but she goes to Oaklypark in a few days I wish I might be with mamma whilst she is ill I would not make the least noise But dont ask her if you think it will be troublesome—only let me send the gold fish
Belinda was touched by the manner in which this affectionate little girl spoke to her She assured her that she would say all she wished to her mother and she begged Helena to send the gold fish whenever she pleased
Then said Helena I will send them as soon as I go home as soon as I go back to Lady Anne Percivals I mean Belinda when she had finished speaking to Helena heard the man who was showing the birds lament that he had not a blue macaw which Lady Anne Percival was commissioned to procure for Mrs Margaret Delacour
Red macaws my lady I have in abundance but unfortunately a blue macaw I really have not at present nor have I been able to get one though I have inquired amongst all the birdfanciers in town and I went to the auction at Haydonsquare on purpose but could not get one
Belinda requested Lady Boucher would tell her servants to bring in the cage that contained Marriotts blue macaw and as soon as it was brought she gave it to Helena and begged that she would carry it to her Aunt Delacour
Lord my dear Miss Portman said Lady Boucher drawing her aside I am afraid you will get yourself into a scrape for Lady Delacour is not upon speaking terms with this Mrs Margaret Delacour—she cannot endure her you know she is my Lord Delacours aunt
Belinda persisted in sending the macaw for she was in hopes that these terrible family quarrels might be made up if either party would condescend to show any disposition to oblige the other
Lady Anne Percival understood Miss Portmans civility as it was meant
This is a bird of good omen said she it augurs family peace
I wish you would do me the favour Lady Boucher to introduce me to Miss Portman continued Lady Anne
The very thing I wished cried Helena
A few minutes conversation passed afterward upon different subjects and Lady Anne Percival and Belinda parted with a mutual desire to see more of each other
CHAPTER XIII — SORTES VIRGILIANAE
When Belinda got home Lady Delacour was busy in the library looking over a collection of French plays with the cidevant Count de N—— a gentleman who possessed such singular talents for reading dramatic compositions that many people declared that they would rather hear him read a play than see it performed at the theatre Even those who were not judges of his merit and who had little taste for literature crowded to hear him because it was the fashion Lady Delacour engaged him for a reading party at her house and he was consulting with her what play would be most amusing to his audience My dear Belinda I am glad you are come to give us your opinion said her ladyship no one has a better taste but first I should ask you what you have done at your birdfanciers I hope you have brought home some horned cock5 or some monstrously beautiful creature for Marriott If it has not a voice like the macaw I shall be satisfied but even if it be the bird of paradise I question whether Marriott will like it as well as its screaming predecessor
I am sure she will like what is coming for her said Belinda and so will your ladyship but do not let me interrupt you and monsieur le Comte And as she spoke she took up a volume of plays which lay upon the table
Nanine or La Prude which shall we have said Lady Delacour or what do you think of LEcossaise
The scene of LEcossaise is laid in London said Belinda I should think with an English audience it would therefore be popular
Yes so it will said Lady Delacour then let it be LEcossaise M le Comte I am sure will do justice to the character of Friport the Englishman qui scait donner mais qui ne scait pas vivre My dear I forgot to tell you that Clarence Hervey has been here it is a pity you did not come a little sooner you would have heard a charming scene of the School for Scandal read by him M le Comte was quite delighted but Clarence was in a great hurry he would only give us one scene he was going to Mr Percivals on business I am sure what I told you the other day is true but however he has promised to come back to dine with me—M le Comte you will dine with us I hope
The count was extremely sorry that it was impossible—he was engaged Belinda suddenly recollected that it was time to dress for dinner but just as the count took his leave and as she was going up stairs a footman met her and told her that Mr Hervey was in the drawingroom and wished to speak to her Many conjectures were formed in Belindas mind as she passed on to the drawingroom but the moment that she opened the door she knew the nature of Mr Herveys business for she saw the glass globe containing Helena Delacours gold fishes standing on the table beside him I have been commissioned to present these to you for Lady Delacour said Mr Hervey and I have seldom received a commission that has given me so much pleasure I perceive that Miss Portman is indeed a real friend to Lady Delacour—how happy she is to have such a friend
After a pause Mr Hervey went on speaking of Lady Delacour and of his earnest desire to see her as happy in domestic life as she appeared to be in public He frankly confessed that when he was first acquainted with her ladyship he had looked upon her merely as a dissipated woman of fashion and he had considered only his own amusement in cultivating her society But continued he of late I have formed a different opinion of her character and I think from what I have observed that Miss Portmans ideas on this subject agree with mine I had laid a plan for making her ladyship acquainted with Lady Anne Percival who appears to me one of the most amiable and one of the happiest of women Oaklypark is but a few miles from Harrowgate—But I am disappointed in this scheme Lady Delacour has changed her mind she says and will not go there Lady Anne however has just told me that though it is July and though she loves the country she will most willingly stay in town a month longer as she thinks that with your assistance there is some probability of her effecting a reconciliation between Lady Delacour and her husbands relations with some of whom Lady Anne is intimately acquainted To begin with my friend Mrs Margaret Delacour the macaw was most graciously received and I flatter myself that I have prepared Mrs Delacour to think somewhat more favourably of her niece than she was wont to do All now depends upon Lady Delacours conduct towards her daughter if she continues to treat her with neglect I shall be convinced that I have been mistaken in her character
Belinda was much pleased by the openness and the unaffected goodnature with which Clarence Hervey spoke and she certainly was not sorry to hear from his own lips a distinct explanation of his views and sentiments She assured him that no effort that she could make with propriety should be wanting to effect the desirable reconciliation between her ladyship and her family as she perfectly agreed with him in thinking that Lady Delacours character had been generally misunderstood by the world
Yes said Mr Hervey her connexion with that Mrs Freke hurt her more in the eyes of the world than she was aware of It is tacitly understood by the public that every lady goes bail for the character of her female friends If Lady Delacour had been so fortunate as to meet with such a friend as Miss Portman in her early life what a different woman she would have been She once said some such thing to me herself and she never appeared to me so amiable as at that moment
Mr Hervey pronounced these last words in a manner more than usually animated and whilst he spoke Belinda stooped to gather a sprig from a myrtle which stood on the hearth She perceived that the myrtle which was planted in a large china vase was propped up on one side with the broken bits of Sir Philip Baddelys little stick she took them up and threw them out of the window Lady Delacour stuck those fragments there this morning said Clarence smiling as trophies She told me of Miss Portmans victory over the heart of Sir Philip Baddely and Miss Portman should certainly have allowed them to remain there as indisputable evidence in favour of the baronets taste and judgment
Clarence Hervey appeared under some embarrassment and seemed to be restrained by some secret cause from laying open his real feelings his manner varied continually Belinda could not avoid seeing his perplexity—she had recourse again to the gold fishes and to Helena upon these subjects they could both speak very fluently Lady Delacour made her appearance by the time that Clarence had finished repeating the Abbé Nollets experiments which he had heard from his friend Doctor X——
Now Miss Portman the transmission of sound in water said Clarence——
Deep in philosophy I protest said Lady Delacour as she came in What is this about the transmission of sound in water—Ha whence come these pretty gold fishes
These gold fishes said Belinda are come to console Marriott for the loss of her macaw
Thank you my dear Belinda for these mute comforters said her ladyship the very best things you could have chosen
I have not the merit of the choice said Belinda but I am heartily glad that you approve of it
Pretty creatures said Lady Delacour no fish were ever so pretty since the days of the prince of the Black Islands in the Arabian Tales And am I obliged to you Clarence for these subjects
No I have only had the honour of bringing them to your ladyship from——
From whom—Amongst all my numerous acquaintance have I one in the world who cares a gold fish about me—Stay dont tell me let me guess——Lady Newland—No you shake your heads I guessed her ladyship merely because I know she wants to bribe me some way or other to go to one of her stupid entertainments she wants to pick out of me taste enough to spend a fortune But you say it was not Lady Newland—Mrs Hunt then perhaps for she has two daughters whom she wants me to ask to my concerts It was not Mrs Hunt—Well then it was Mrs Masterson for she has a mind to go with me to Harrowgate where bythebye I shall not go so I wont cheat her out of her gold fishes it was Mrs Masterson hey
No But these little gold fishes came from a person who would be very glad to go with you to Harrowgate said Clarence Hervey Or who would be very glad to stay with you in town said Belinda from a person who wants nothing from you but—your love
Male or female said Lady Delacour
Female
Female I have not a female friend in the world but yourself my dear Belinda nor do I know another female in the world whose love I should think about for half an instant But pray tell me the name of this unknown friend of mine who wants nothing from me but love
Excuse me said Belinda I cannot tell her name unless you will promise to see her
You have really made me impatient to see her said Lady Delacour but I am not able to go out you know yet and with a new acquaintance one must go through the ceremony of a morning visit Now en conscience is it worth while
Very well worth while cried Belinda and Clarence Hervey eagerly
Ah pardi as M le Comte exclaims continually Ah pardi You are both wonderfully interested in this business It is some sister niece or cousin of Lady Anne Percivals or—no Belinda looks as if I were wrong Then perhaps it is Lady Anne herself—Well take me where you please my dear Belinda and introduce me where you please I depend on your taste and judgment in all things but I really am not yet able to pay morning visits
The ceremony of a morning visit is quite unnecessary here said Belinda I will introduce the unknown friend to you tomorrow if you will let me invite her to your readingparty
With pleasure She is some charming émigrée of Clarence Herveys acquaintance But where did you meet with her this morning You have both of you conspired to puzzle me Take it upon yourselves then if this new acquaintance should not as Ninon de lEnclos used to say quit cost If she be half as agreeable and graceful Clarence as Madame la Comtesse de Pomenars I should not think her acquaintance too dearly purchased by a dozen morning visits
Here the conversation was interrupted by a thundering knock at the door
Whose carriage is it said Lady Delacour Oh Lady Newlands ostentatious livery and here is her ladyship getting out of her carriage as awkwardly as if she had never been in one before Overdressed like a true city dame Pray Clarence look at her entangled in her bale of gold muslin and conscious of her bulse of diamonds—Worth if Im worth a farthing five hundred thousand pounds bank currency she says or seems to say whenever she comes into a room Now let us see her entrée—
But my dear cried Lady Delacour starting at the sight of Belinda who was still in her morning dress absolutely below par—Make your escape to Marriott I conjure you by all your fears of the contempt of a lady who will at the first look estimate you au juste to a farthing a yard
As she left the room Belinda heard Clarence Hervey repeat to Lady Delacour—
Give me a look give me a face
That makes simplicity a grace
Robes loosely flowing hair as free—
he paused—but Belinda recollected the remainder of the stanza—
Such sweet neglect more taketh me
Than all thadulteries of art
That strike mine eyes but not mine heart
It was observed that Miss Portman dressed herself this day with the most perfect simplicity
Lady Delacours curiosity was raised by the description which Belinda and Clarence Hervey had given of the new acquaintance who sent her the gold fishes and who wanted nothing from her but her love
Miss Portman told her that the unknown would probably come half an hour earlier to the readingparty than any of the rest of the company Her ladyship was alone in the library when Lady Anne Percival brought Helena in consequence of a note from Belinda
Miss Portman ran down stairs to the hall to receive her the little girl took her hand in silence Your mother was much pleased with the pretty gold fishes said Belinda and she will be still more pleased when she knows that they came from you—she does not know that yet
I hope she is better today I will not make the least noise whispered Helena as she went up stairs on tiptoe
You need not be afraid to make a noise—you need not walk on tiptoe nor shut the doors softly for Lady Delacour seems to like all noises except the screaming of the macaw This way my dear
Oh I forgot—it is so long since—Is mamma up and dressed
Yes She has had concerts and balls since her illness You will hear a play read tonight said Belinda by that French gentleman whom Lady Anne Percival mentioned to me yesterday
But there is a great deal of company then with mamma
Nobody is with her now so come into the library with me said Belinda Lady Delacour here is the young lady who sent you the gold fishes
Helena cried Lady Delacour
You must I am sure acknowledge that Mr Hervey was in the right when he said that the lady was a striking resemblance of your ladyship
Mr Hervey knows how to flatter I never had that ingenuous countenance even in my best days but certainly the hair of her head is like mine—and her hands and arms But why do you tremble Helena Is there any thing so very terrible in the looks of your mother
No only———
Only what my dear
Only—I was afraid—you might not like me
Who has filled your little foolish head with these vain fears Come simpleton kiss me and tell me how comes it that you are not at Oaklyhall or—Whats the name of the place—Oaklypark
Lady Anne Percival would not take me out of town she said whilst you were ill because she thought that you might wish—I mean she thought that I should like to see you—if you pleased
Lady Anne is very good—very obliging—very considerate
She is very goodnatured said Helena
You love this Lady Anne Percival I perceive
Oh yes that I do She has been so kind to me I love her as if she were——
As if she were—What finish your sentence
My mother said Helena in a low voice and she blushed
You love her as well as if she were your mother repeated Lady Delacour that is intelligible speak intelligibly whatever you say and never leave a sentence unfinished
No maam
Nothing can be more illbred nor more absurd for it shows that you have the wish without the power to conceal your sentiments Pray my dear continued Lady Delacour go to Oaklypark immediately—all farther ceremony towards me may be spared
Ceremony mamma said the little girl and the tears came into her eyes Belinda sighed and for some moments there was a dead silence
I mean only to say Miss Portman resumed Lady Delacour that I hate ceremony but I know that there are people in the world who love it who think all virtue and all affection depend on ceremony—who are
Content to dwell in decencies for ever
I shall not dispute their merits Verily they have their reward in the good opinion and good word of all little minds that is to say of above half the world I envy them not their hardearned fame Let ceremony curtsy to ceremony with Chinese decorum but when ceremony expects to be paid with affection I beg to be excused
Ceremony sets no value upon affection and therefore would not desire to be paid with it said Belinda
Never yet continued lady Delacour pursuing the train of her own thoughts without attending to Belinda never yet was any thing like real affection won by any of these ceremonious people
Never said Miss Portman looking at Helena who having quickness enough to perceive that her mother aimed this tirade against ceremony at Lady Anne Percival sat in the most painful embarrassment her eyes cast down and her face and neck colouring all over Never yet said Miss Portman did mere ceremonious person win any thing like real affection especially from children who are often excellent because unprejudiced judges of character
We are all apt to think that an opinion that differs from our own is a prejudice said Lady Delacour what is to decide
Facts I should think said Belinda
But it is so difficult to get at facts even about the merest trifles said Lady Delacour Actions we see but their causes we seldom see—an aphorism worthy of Confucius himself now to apply Pray my dear Helena how came you by the pretty gold fishes that you were so good as to send to me yesterday
Lady Anne Percival gave them to me maam
And how came her ladyship to give them to you maam
She gave them to me said Helena hesitating
You need not blush nor repeat to me that she gave them to you that I have heard already—that is the fact now for the cause—unless it be a secret If it be a secret which you have been desired to keep you are quite right to keep it I make no doubt of its being necessary according to some systems of education that children should be taught to keep secrets and I am convinced for Lady Anne Percival is I have heard a perfect judge of propriety that it is peculiarly proper that a daughter should know how to keep secrets from her mother therefore my dear you need not trouble yourself to blush or hesitate any more—I shall ask no farther questions I was not aware that there was any secret in the case
There is no secret in the world in the case mamma said Helena I only hesitated because—
You hesitated only because I suppose you mean I presume Lady Anne Percival will have no objection to your speaking good English
I hesitated only because I was afraid it would not be right to praise myself Lady Anne Percival one day asked us all—
Us all
I mean Charles and Edward and me to give her an account of some experiments on the hearing of fishes which Dr X—— had told to us she promised to give the gold fishes of which we were all very fond to whichever of us should give the best account of them—Lady Anne gave the fishes to me
And is this all the secret So it was real modesty made her hesitate Belinda I beg your pardon my dear and Lady Annes you see how candid I am Belinda But one question more Helena Who put it into your head to send me your gold fishes
Nobody mamma no one put it into my head But I was at the birdfanciers yesterday when Miss Portman was trying to get some bird for Mrs Marriott that could not make any noise to disturb you so I thought my fishes would be the nicest things for you in the world because they cannot make the least noise and they are as pretty as any birds in the world—prettier I think—and I hope Mrs Marriott thinks so too
I dont know what Marriott thinks about the matter but I can tell you what I think said Lady Delacour that you are one of the sweetest little girls in the world and that you would make me love you if I had a heart of stone which I have not whatever some people may think—Kiss me my child
The little girl sprang forwards and threw her arms round her mother exclaiming Oh mamma are you in earnest and she pressed close to her mothers bosom clasping her with all her force
Lady Delacour screamed and pushed her daughter away
She is not angry with you my love said Belinda she is in sudden and violent pain—dont be alarmed—she will be better soon No dont ring the bell but try whether you can open these windowshutters and throw up the sash
Whilst Belinda was supporting Lady Delacour and whilst Helena was trying to open the window a servant came into the room to announce the Count de N——
Show him into the drawingroom said Belinda Lady Delacour though in great pain rose and retired to her dressingroom I shall not be able to go down to these people yet said she you must make my excuses to the count and to every body and tell poor Helena I was not angry though I pushed her away Keep her below stairs I will come as soon as I am able Send Marriott Do not forget my dear to tell Helena I was not angry
The reading party went on and Lady Delacour made her appearance as the company were drinking orgeat between the fourth and fifth act Helena my dear said she will you bring me a glass of orgeat
Clarence Hervey looked at Belinda with a congratulatory smile do not you think whispered he that we shall succeed Did you see that look of Lady Delacours
Nothing tends more to increase the esteem and affection of two people for each other than their having one and the same benevolent object Clarence Hervey and Belinda seemed to know one anothers thoughts and feelings this evening better than they had ever done before during the whole course of their acquaintance
After the play was over most of the company went away only a select party of beaux esprits stayed to supper they were standing at the table at which the count had been reading several volumes of French plays and novels were lying there and Clarence Hervey taking up one of them cried Come let us try our fate by the Sortes Virgilianae
Lady Delacour opened the book which was a volume of Marmontels Tales
La femme comme il y en a peu exclaimed Hervey
Who will ever more have faith in the Sortes Virgilianae said Lady Delacour laughing but whilst she laughed she went closer to a candle to read the page which she had opened Belinda and Clarence Hervey followed her Really it is somewhat singular Belinda that I should have opened upon this passage continued she in a low voice pointing it out to Miss Portman
It was a description of the manner in which la femme comme il y en a peu managed a husband who was excessively afraid of being thought to be governed by his wife As her ladyship turned over the page she saw a leaf of myrtle which Belinda who had been reading the story the preceding day had put into the book for a mark
Whose mark is this Yours Belinda I am sure by its elegance said Lady Delacour So this is a concerted plan between you two I see continued her ladyship with an air of pique you have contrived prettily de me dire des vérités One says Let us try our fate by the Sortes Virgilianae the other has dexterously put a mark in the book to make it open upon a lesson for the naughty child
Belinda and Mr Hervey assured her that they had used no such mean arts that nothing had been concerted between them
How came this leaf of myrtle here then said Lady Delacour
I was reading that story yesterday and left it as my mark
I cannot help believing you because you never yet deceived me even in the merest trifle you are truth itself Belinda Well you see that you were the cause of my drawing such an extraordinary lot the book would not have opened here but for your mark My fate I find is in your hands if Lady Delacour is ever to be la femme comme il y en a peu which is the most improbable thing in the world Miss Portman will be the cause of it
Which is the most probable thing in the world said Clarence Hervey This myrtle has a delightful perfume added he rubbing the leaf between his fingers
But after all said Lady Delacour throwing aside the book This heroine of Marmontels is not la femme comme il y en a peu but la femme comme il ny en a point
Mrs Margaret Delacours carriage my lady for Miss Delacour said a footman to her ladyship
Helena stays with me tonight—my compliments said Lady Delacour
How pleased the little gipsy looks added she turning to Helena who heard the message and how handsome she looks when she is pleased—Do these auburn locks of yours Helena curl naturally or artificially
Naturally mamma
Naturally so much the better so did mine at your age
Some of the company now took notice of the astonishing resemblance between Helena and her mother and the more Lady Delacour considered her daughter as a part of herself the more she was inclined to be pleased with her The glass globe containing the gold fishes was put in the middle of the table at supper and Clarence Hervey never paid her ladyship such respectful attention in his life as he did this evening
The conversation at supper turned upon a magnificent and elegant entertainment which had lately been given by a fashionable duchess and some of the company spoke in high terms of the beauty and accomplishments of her graces daughter who had for the first time appeared in public on that occasion
The daughter will eclipse totally eclipse the mother said Lady Delacour That total eclipse has been foretold by many knowing people said Clarence Hervey but how can there be an eclipse between two bodies which never cross one another and that I understand to be the case between the duchess and her daughter
This observation seemed to make a great impression upon Lady Delacour Clarence Hervey went on and with much eloquence expressed his admiration of the mother who had stopped short in the career of dissipation to employ her inimitable talents in the education of her children who had absolutely brought Virtue into fashion by the irresistible powers of wit and beauty
Really Clarence said Lady Delacour rising from table vous parlez avec beaucoup donction I advise you to write a sentimental comedy a comédie larmoyante or a drama on the German model and call it The School for Mothers and beg her grace of —— to sit for your heroine
Your ladyship surely would not be so cruel as to send a faithful servant a begging for a heroine said Clarence Hervey
Lady Delacour smiled at first at the compliment but a few minutes afterwards she sighed bitterly It is too late for me to think of being a heroine said she
Too late cried Hervey following her eagerly as she walked out of the supperroom too late Her grace of —— is some years older than your ladyship
Well I did not mean to say too late said Lady Delacour but let us go on to something else Why were you not at the fète champêtre the other day and where were you all this morning And pray can you tell me when your friend doctor X—— returns to town
Mr Horton is getting better said Clarence and I hope that we shall have Dr X—— soon amongst us again I hear that he is to be in town in the course of a few days
Did he inquire for me—Did he ask how I did
No I fancy he took it for granted that your ladyship was quite well for I told him you were getting better every day and that you were in charming spirits
Yes said Lady Delacour but I wear myself out with these charming spirits I am very nervous still I assure you and sitting up late is not good for me so I shall wish you and all the world a good night You see I am absolutely a reformed rake
CHAPTER XIV — THE EXHIBITION
Two hours after her ladyship had retired to her room as Belinda was passing by the door to go to her own bedchamber she heard Lady Delacour call to her
Belinda you need not walk so softly I am not asleep Come in will you my dear I have something of consequence to say to you Is all the world gone
Yes and I thought that you were asleep I hope you are not in pain
Not just at present thank you but that was a terrible embrace of poor little Helenas You see to what accidents I should be continually exposed if I had that child always about me and yet she seems of such an affectionate disposition that I wish it were possible to keep her at home Sit down by my bedside my dear Belinda and I will tell you what I have resolved upon
Belinda sat down and Lady Delacour was silent for some minutes
I am resolved said she to make one desperate effort for my life New plans new hopes of happiness have opened to my imagination and with my hopes of being happy my courage rises I am determined to submit to the dreadful operation which alone can radically cure me—you understand me but it must be kept a profound secret I know of a person who could be got to perform this operation with the utmost secrecy
But surely said Belinda safety must be your first object
No secrecy is my first object Nay do not reason with me it is a subject on which I cannot will not reason Hear me—I will keep Helena with me for a few days she was surprised by what passed in the library this evening—I must remove all suspicion from her mind
There is no suspicion in her mind said Belinda
So much the better she shall go immediately to school or to Oaklypark I will then stand my trial for life or death and if I live I will be what I have never yet been a mother to Helena If I die you and Clarence Hervey will take care of her I know you will That young man is worthy of you Belinda If I die I charge you to tell him that I knew his value that I had a soul capable of being touched by the eloquence of virtue Lady Delacour after a pause said in an altered tone Do you think Belinda that I shall survive this operation
The opinion of Dr X—— said Belinda must certainly be more satisfactory than mine and she repeated what the doctor had left with her in writing upon this subject You see said Belinda that Dr X——is by no means certain that you have the complaint which you dread
I am certain of it said Lady Delacour with a deep sigh Then after a pause she resumed So it is the doctors opinion that I shall inevitably destroy myself if from a vain hope of secrecy I put myself into ignorant hands These are his own words are they Very strong and he is prudent to leave that opinion in writing Now whatever happens he cannot be answerable for measures which he does not guide nor you either my dear you have done all that is prudent and proper But I must beg you to recollect that I am neither a child nor a fool that I am come to years of discretion and that I am not now in the delirium of a fever consequently there can be no pretence for managing me In this particular I must insist upon managing myself I have confidence in the skill of the person whom I shall employ Dr X—— very likely would have none because the man may not have a diploma for killing or curing in form That is nothing to the purpose It is I that am to undergo the operation it is my health my life that is risked and if I am satisfied that is enough Secrecy as I told you before is my first object
And cannot you said Belinda depend with more security upon the honour of a surgeon who is at the head of his profession and who has a high reputation at stake than upon a vague promise of secrecy from some obscure quack who has no reputation to lose
No said Lady Delacour I tell you my dear that I cannot depend upon any of these honourable men I have taken means to satisfy myself on this point their honour and foolish delicacy would not allow them to perform such an operation for a wife without the knowledge privity consent c c c of her husband Now Lord Delacours knowing the thing is quite out of the question
Why my dear Lady Delacour why said Belinda with great earnestness Surely a husband has the strongest claim to be consulted upon such an occasion Let me entreat you to tell Lord Delacour your intention and then all will be right Say Yes my dear friend let me prevail upon you said Belinda taking her ladyships hand and pressing it between both of hers with the most affectionate eagerness
Lady Delacour made no answer but fixed her eyes upon Belindas
Lord Delacour continued Miss Portman deserves this from you by the great interest the increasing interest that he has shown of late about your health his kindness and handsome conduct the other morning certainly pleased you and you have now an opportunity of showing that confidence in him which his affection and constant attachment to you merit
I trouble myself very little about the constancy of Lord Delacours attachment to me said her ladyship coolly withdrawing her hand from Belinda whether his lordships affection for me has of late increased or diminished is an object of perfect indifference to me But if I were inclined to reward him for his late attentions I should apprehend that we might hit upon some better reward than you have pitched upon Unless you imagine that Lord Delacour has a peculiar taste for surgical operations I cannot conceive how his becoming my confidant upon this occasion could have an immediate tendency to increase his affection for me—about which affection I dont care a straw as you better than any one else must know for I am no hypocrite I have laid open my whole heart to you Belinda
For that very reason said Miss Portman I am eager to use the influence which I know I have in your heart for your happiness I am convinced that it will be absolutely impossible that you should carry on this scheme in the house with your husband without its being discovered If he discover it by accident he will feel very differently from what he would do if he were trusted by you
For Heavens sake my dear cried Lady Delacour let me hear no more about Lord Delacours feelings
But allow me then to speak of my own said Belinda I cannot be concerned in this affair if it is to be concealed from your husband
You will do about that as you think proper said Lady Delacour haughtily Your sense of propriety towards Lord Delacour is I observe stronger than your sense of honour towards me But I make no doubt that you act upon principle—just principle You promised never to abandon me but when I most want your assistance you refuse it from consideration for Lord Delacour A scruple of delicacy absolves a person of nice feelings I find from a positive promise—a new and convenient code of morality
Belinda though much hurt by the sarcastic tone in which her ladyship spoke mildly answered that the promise she had made to stay with her ladyship during her illness was very different from an engagement to assist her in such a scheme as she had now in contemplation
Lady Delacour suddenly drew the curtain between her and Belinda saying Well my dear at all events I am glad to hear you dont forget your promise of staying with me You are perhaps prudent to refuse me your assistance all circumstances considered Good night I have kept you up too long—good night
Good night said Belinda drawing aside the curtain You will not be displeased with me when you reflect coolly
The light blinds me said Lady Delacour and she turned her face away from Miss Portman and added in a drowsy voice I will think of what has been said some time or other but just now I would rather go to sleep than say or hear any more for I am more than half asleep already
Belinda closed the curtains and left the room But Lady Delacour notwithstanding the drowsy tone in which she pronounced these last words was not in the least inclined to sleep A passion had taken possession of her mind which kept her broad awake the remainder of the night—the passion of jealousy The extreme eagerness with which Belinda had urged her to consult Lord Delacour and to trust him with her secret displeased her not merely as an opposition to her will and undue attention to his lordships feelings but as confirmation strong of a hint which had been dropped by Sir Philip Baddely but which never till now had appeared to her worthy of a moments consideration Sir Philip had observed that if a young lady had any hopes of being a viscountess it was no wonder she thought a baronet beneath her notice Now thought Lady Delacour this is not impossible In the first place Belinda Portman is niece to Mrs Stanhope she may have all her aunts art and the still greater art to conceal it under the mask of openness and simplicity Volto sciolto pensieri stretti is the grand maxim of the Stanhope school The moment Lady Delacours mind turned to suspicion her ingenuity rapidly supplied her with circumstances and arguments to confirm and justify her doubts
Miss Portman fears that my husband is growing too fond of me she says he has been very attentive to me of late Yes so he has and on purpose to disgust him with me she immediately urges me to tell him that I have a loathsome disease and that I am about to undergo a horrid operation How my eyes have been blinded by her artifice This last stroke was rather too bold and has opened them effectually and now I see a thousand things that escaped me before Even tonight the Sortes Virgilianae the myrtle leaf Miss Portmans mark left in the book exactly at the place where Marmontel gives a receipt for managing a husband of Lord Delacours character Ah ah By her own confession she had been reading this studying it Yes and she has studied it to some purpose she has made that poor weak lord of mine think her an angel How he ran on in her praise the other day when he honoured me with a morning visit That morning visit too was of her suggestion and the banknotes as he like a simpleton let out in the course of the conversation had been offered to her first She with a delicacy that charmed my shortsighted folly begged that they might go through my hands How artfully managed Mrs Stanhope herself could not have done better So she can make Lord Delacour do whatever she pleases and she condescends to make him behave prettily to me and desires him to bring me peaceofferings of banknotes She is in fact become my banker mistress of my house my husband and myself Ten days I have been confined to my room Truly she has made a good use of her time and I fool that I am have been thanking her for all her disinterested kindness
Then her attention to my daughter disinterested too as I thought—But good Heavens what an idiot I have been She looks forward to be the stepmother of Helena she would win the simple childs affections even before my face and show Lord Delacour what a charming wife and mother she would make He said some such thing to me as well as I remember the other day Then her extreme prudence She never coquets not she with any of the young men who come here on purpose to see her Is this natural Absolutely unnatural—artifice artifice To contrast herself with me in Lord Delacours opinion is certainly her object Even to Clarence Hervey with whom she was or pretended to be smitten how cold and reserved she is grown of late and how haughtily she rejected my advice when I hinted that she was not taking the way to win him I could not comprehend her she had no designs on Clarence Hervey she assured me Immaculate purity I believe you
Then her refusal of Sir Philip Baddely—a baronet with fifteen thousand a year to be refused by a girl who has nothing and merely because he is a fool How could I be such a fool as to believe it Worthy niece of Mrs Stanhope I know you now And now I recollect that extraordinary letter of Mrs Stanhopes which I snatched out of Miss Portmans hands some months ago full of blanks and inuendoes and references to some letter which Belinda had written about my disputes with my husband From that moment to this Miss Portman has never let me see another of her aunts letters So I may conclude they are all in the same style and I make no doubt that she has instructed her niece all this time how to proceed Now I know why she always puts Mrs Stanhopes letters into her pocket the moment she receives them and never opens them in my presence And I have been laying open my whole heart telling my whole history confessing all my faults and follies to this girl And I have told her that I am dying I have taught her to look forward with joy and certainty to the coronet on which she has fixed her heart
On my knees I conjured her to stay with me to receive my last breath Oh dupe miserable dupe that I am could nothing warn me In the moment that I discovered the treachery of one friend I went and prostrated myself to the artifices of another—of another a thousand times more dangerous—ten thousand times more beloved For what was Harriot Freke in comparison with Belinda Portman Harriot Freke even whilst she diverted me most I half despised But Belinda—Oh Belinda how entirely have I loved—trusted—admired—adored—respected—revered you
Exhausted by the emotions to which she had worked herself up by the force of her powerful imagination Lady Delacour after passing several restless hours in bed fell asleep late in the morning and when she awaked Belinda was standing by her bedside What could you be dreaming of said Belinda smiling You started and looked at me with such horror when you opened your eyes as if I had been your evil genius It is not in human nature thought Lady Delacour suddenly overcome by the sweet smile and friendly tone of Belinda it is not in human nature to be so treacherous and she stretched out both her arms to Belinda saying You my evil genius No My guardian angel my dearest Belinda kiss me and forgive me
Forgive you for what said Belinda I believe you are dreaming still and I am sorry to awaken you but I am come to tell you a wonderful thing—that Lord Delacour is up and dressed and actually in the breakfastroom and that he has been talking to me this half hour—of what do you think—of Helena He was quite surprised he said to see her grown such a fine girl and he declares that he no longer regrets that she was not a boy and he says that he will dine at home today on purpose to drink Helenas health in his new burgundy and in short I never saw him in such good spirits or so agreeable I always thought he was one of the bestnatured men I had ever seen Will not you get up to breakfast Lord Delacour has asked for you ten times within these five minutes
Indeed said Lady Delacour rubbing her eyes All this is vastly wonderful but I wish you had not awakened me so soon
Nay nay said Belinda I know by the tone of your voice that you do not mean what you say I know you will get up and come down to us directly—so I will send Marriott
Lady Delacour got up and went down to breakfast in much uncertainty what to think of Miss Portman but ashamed to let her into her mind and still more afraid that Lord Delacour should suspect her of doing him the honour to be jealous Belinda had not the least guess of what was really passing in her ladyships heart she implicitly believed her expressions of complete indifference to her lord and jealousy was the last feeling which Miss Portman would have attributed to Lady Delacour because she unfortunately was not sufficiently aware that jealousy can exist without love The idea of Lord Delacour as an object of attachment or of a coronet as an object of ambition or of her friends death as an object of joy were so foreign to Belindas innocent mind that it was scarcely possible she could decipher Lady Delacours thoughts Her ladyship affected to be in remarkable good spirits this morning declared that she had never felt so well since her illness ordered her carriage as soon as breakfast was over and said she would take Helena to Maillardets to see the wonders of his little conjuror and his singingbird Nothing equal to Maillardets singingbird has ever been seen or heard of my dear Helena since the days of Aboulcasems peacock in the Persian Tales Since Lady Anne Percival has not shown you these charming things I must
But I hope you wont tire yourself mamma said the little girl
Im afraid you will said Belinda And you know my dear added Lord Delacour that Miss Portman who is so very obliging and goodnatured could go just as well with Helena and I am sure would rather than that you should tire yourself or give yourself an unnecessary trouble
Miss Portman is very good answered Lady Delacour hastily but I think it no unnecessary trouble to give my daughter any pleasure in my power As to its tiring me I am neither dead nor dying yet for the rest Miss Portman who understands what is proper blushes for you as you see my lord when you propose that she who is not yet a married woman should chaperon a young lady It is quite out of rule and Mrs Stanhope would be shocked if her niece could or would do such a thing to oblige any body
Lord Delacour was too much in the habit of hearing sarcastic and to him incomprehensible speeches from her ladyship to take any extraordinary notice of this and if Belinda blushed it was merely from the confusion into which she was thrown by the piercing glance of Lady Delacours black eyes—a glance which neither guilt nor innocence could withstand Belinda imagined that her ladyship still retained some displeasure from the conversation that had passed the preceding night and the first time that she was alone with Lady Delacour she again touched upon the subject in hopes of softening or convincing her At all events my dear friend said she you will not I hope be offended by the sincerity with which I speak—I can have no object but your safety and happiness
Sincerity never offends me was her ladyships cold answer And all the time that they were out together she was unusually ceremonious to Miss Portman and there would have been but little conversation if Helena had not been present to whom her mother talked with fluent gaiety When they got to Spring Gardens Helena exclaimed Oh theres Lady Anne Percivals carriage and Charles and Edward with her—they are going to the same place that we are I dare say for I heard Charles ask Lady Anne to take him to see Maillardets little bird—Mr Hervey mentioned it to us and he said it was a curious piece of machinery
I wish you had told me sooner that Lady Anne was likely to be there—I dont wish to meet her so awkwardly I am not well enough yet indeed to go to these odious hot close places and besides I hate seeing sights
Helena with much good humour said that she would rather give up seeing the sight than be troublesome to her mother When they came to Maillardets however Lady Delacour saw Mrs —— getting out of her carriage and to her she consigned Helena and Miss Portman saying that she would take a turn or two in the part and call for them in half an hour When the half hour was over and her ladyship returned she carelessly asked as they were going home whether they had been pleased with their visit to the bird and the conjuror Oh yes mamma said Helena and do you know that one of the questions that the people ask the conjuror is Where is the happiest family to be found And Charles and Edward immediately said if he is a good conjuror if he tells truth hell answer At Oaklypark
Miss Portman had you any conversation with Lady Anne Percival said Lady Delacour coldly
A great deal said Belinda and such as I am sure you would have liked and so far from being a ceremonious person I think I never saw any body who had such easy engaging manners
And did she ask you Helena again to go with her to that place where the happiest family in the world is to be found
Oaklypark—No mamma she said that she was very glad that I was with you but she asked Miss Portman to come to see her whenever it was in her power
And could Miss Portman withstand such a temptation
You know that I am engaged to your ladyship said Belinda
Lady Delacour bowed But from what passed last night said she I was afraid that you might repent your engagement to me and if so I give up my bond I should be miserable if I apprehended that any one but more especially Miss Portman felt herself a prisoner in my house
Dear Lady Delacour I do not feel myself a prisoner I have always till now felt myself a friend in your house but well talk of this another time Do not look at me with so much coldness do not speak to me with so much politeness I will not let you forget that I am your friend
I do not wish to forget it Belinda said Lady Delacour with emotion I am not ungrateful though I may seem capricious—bear with me
There now you look like yourself again and I am satisfied cried Belinda As to going to Oaklypark I give you my word I have not the most distant thoughts of it I stay with you from choice and not from compulsion believe me
I do believe you said Lady Delacour and for a moment she was convinced that Belinda stayed with her for her own sake alone but the next minute she suspected that Lord Delacour was the secret cause of her refusing to go to Oaklypark His lordship dined at home this day and two or three succeeding days and he was not intoxicated from Monday till Thursday These circumstances appeared to his lady very extraordinary In fact he was pleased and amused with his little daughter Helena and whilst she was yet almost a stranger to him he wished to appear to her in the most agreeable and respectable light possible One day after dinner Lord Delacour who was in a remarkably good humour said to her ladyship My dear you know that your new carriage was broken almost to pieces the night when you were overturned Well I have had it all set to rights again and new painted and it is all complete except the hammercloth which must have new fringe What colour will you have the fringe
What do you say Miss Portman said her ladyship
Black and orange would look well I think said Belinda and would suit the lace of your liveries—would not it
Certainly black and orange then said Lord Delacour it shall be
If you ask my opinion said Lady Delacour I am for blue and white to match the cloth of the liveries
Blue and white then it shall be said Lord Delacour
Nay Miss Portman has a better taste than I have and she says black and orange my lord
Then youll have it black and orange will you said Lord Delacour
Just as you please said Lady Delacour and no more passed
Soon afterward a note came from Lady Anne Percival with some trifles belonging to Helena for which her mother had sent The note was for Belinda—another pressing invitation to Oaklypark—and a very civil message from Mrs Margaret Delacour and thanks to Lady Delacour for the macaw Ay thought Lady Delacour Miss Portman wants to ingratiate herself in time with all my husbands relations Mrs Margaret Delacour should have addressed these thanks to you Miss Portman for I had not the grace to think of sending her the macaw Lord Delacour who was very fond of his aunt immediately joined his thanks and observed that Miss Portman was always considerate—always obliging—always kind Then he drank her health in a bumper of burgundy and insisted upon his little Helenas drinking her health I am sure you ought my dear for Miss Portman is very good—too good to you child
Very good—not too good I hope said Lady Delacour Miss Portman your health
And I hope continued his lordship after swallowing his bumper that my Lady Anne Percival does not mean to inveigle you away from us Miss Portman You dont think of leaving us Miss Portman I hope Heres Helena would break her little heart—I say nothing for my Lady Delacour because she can say every thing so much better for herself and I say nothing for myself because I am the worst man in the world at making speeches when I really have a thing at heart—as I have your staying with us Miss Portman
Belinda assured him that there was no occasion to press her to do what was perfectly agreeable to her and said that she had no thoughts of leaving Lady Delacour Her ladyship with some embarrassment expressed herself extremely obliged and gratified and happy Helena with artless joy threw her arms about Belinda and exclaimed I am glad you are not going for I never liked any body so much of whom I knew so little
The more you know of Miss Portman the more you will like her child—at least I have found it so said Lord Delacour
Clarence Hervey would I am sure have given the Pigot diamond if it were in his gift for such a smile as you bestowed on Lord Delacour just now whispered Lady Delacour For an instant Belinda was struck with the tone of pique and reproach in which her ladyship spoke Nay my dear I did not mean to make you blush so piteously pursued her ladyship I really did not think it a blushing matter—but you know best Believe me I spoke without malice we are so apt to judge from our own feelings—and I could as soon blush about the old man of the mountains as about my Lord Delacour
Lord Delacour said Belinda with a look of such unfeigned surprise that her ladyship instantly changed countenance and taking her hand with gaiety said So my little Belinda I have caught you—the blush belongs then to Clarence Hervey Well any man of common sense would rather have one blush than a thousand smiles for his share now we understand one another And will you go with me to the exhibition tomorrow I am told there are some charming pictures this year Helena who really has a genius for drawing should see these things and whilst she is with me I will make her as happy as possible You see the reformation is beginning—Clarence Hervey and Miss Portman can do wonders If it be my fate at last to be la bonne mère or la femme comme il y en a peu how can I help it There is no struggling against fate my dear
Whenever Lady Delacours suspicions of Belinda were suspended all her affections returned with double force she wondered at her own folly she was ashamed that she could have let such ideas enter her mind and she was beyond measure astonished that any thing relative to Lord Delacour could so far have interested her attention Luckily said she to herself he has not the penetration of a blind beetle and besides he has little snug jealousies of his own so he will never find me out It would be an excellent thing indeed if he were to turn my mastertorment against myself—it would be a judgment upon me The manes of poor Lawless would then be appeased But it is impossible I should ever be a jealous wife I am only a jealous friend and I must satisfy myself about Belinda To be a second time a dupe to the treachery of a friend would be too much for me—too much for my pride—too much for my heart
The next day when they came to the exhibition Lady Delacour had an opportunity of judging of Belindas real feelings As they went up the stairs they heard the voices of Sir Philip Baddely and Mr Rochfort who were standing upon the landingplace leaning over the banisters and running their little sticks along the iron rails to try which could make the loudest noise
Have you been much pleased with the pictures gentlemen said Lady Delacour as she passed them
Oh damme no—tis a cursed bore and yet there are some fine pictures one in particular—hey Rochfort—one damned fine picture said Sir Philip And the two gentlemen laughing significantly followed Lady Delacour and Belinda into the rooms
Ay theres one picture thats worth all the rest pon honour repeated Rochfort and well leave it to your ladyships and Miss Portmans taste and judgment to find it out maynt we Sir Philip
Oh damme yes said Sir Philip by all means But he was so impatient to direct her eyes that he could not keep himself still an instant
Oh curse it Rochfort wed better tell the ladies at once else they may be all day looking and looking
Nay Sir Philip may not I be allowed to guess Must I be told which is your fine picture—This is not much in favour of my taste
Oh damn it your ladyship has the best taste in the world every body knows and so has Miss Portman—and this picture will hit her taste particularly Im sure It is Clarence Herveys fancy but this is a dead secret—dead—Clary no more thinks that we know it than the man in the moon
Clarence Herveys fancy Then I make no doubt of its being good for something said Lady Delacour if the painter have done justice to his imagination for Clarence has really a fine imagination
Oh damme tis not amongst the history pieces cried Sir Philip tis a portrait
And a history piece too pon honour said Rochfort a family history piece I take it pon honour it will turn out said Rochfort and both the gentlemen were or affected to be thrown into convulsions of laughter as they repeated the words family history piece pon honour—family history piece damme
Ill take my oath as to the portraits being a devilish good likeness added Sir Philip and as he spoke he turned to Miss Portman Miss Portman has it damme Miss Portman has him
Belinda hastily withdrew her eyes from the picture at which she was looking A most beautiful creature exclaimed Lady Delacour
Oh faith yes I always do Clary the justice to say he has a damned good taste for beauty
But this seems to be foreign beauty continued Lady Delacour if one may judge by her air her dress and the scenery about her—cocoatrees plantains Miss Portman what think you
I think said Belinda but her voice faltered so much that she could hardly speak that it is a scene from Paul and Virginia I think the figure is St Pierres Virginia
Virginia St Pierre maam cried Mr Rochfort winking at Sir Philip No no damme there you are wrong Rochfort say Herveys Virginia and then you have it damme or may be Virginia Hervey—who knows
This is a portrait whispered the baronet to Lady Delacour of Clarences mistress Whilst her ladyship leant her ear to this whisper which was sufficiently audible she fixed a seemingly careless but most observing inquisitive eye upon poor Belinda Her confusion for she heard the whisper was excessive
She loves Clarence Hervey—she has no thoughts of Lord Delacour and his coronet I have done her injustice thought Lady Delacour and instantly she despatched Sir Philip out of the room for a catalogue of the pictures begged Mr Rochfort to get her something else and drawing Miss Portmans arm within hers she said in a low voice Lean upon me my dearest Belinda depend upon it Clarence will never be such a fool as to marry the girl—Virginia Hervey she will never be
And what will become of her can Mr Hervey desert her she looks like innocence itself—and so young too Can he leave her for ever to sorrow and vice and infamy thought Belinda as she kept her eyes fixed in silent anguish upon the picture of Virginia No he cannot do this if he could he would be unworthy of me and I ought to think of him no more No he will marry her and I must think of him no more
She turned abruptly away from the picture and she saw Clarence Hervey standing beside her
What do you think of this picture is it not beautiful We are quite enchanted with it but you do not seem to be struck with it as we were at the first glance said Lady Delacour
Because answered Clarence gaily it is not the first glance I have had at that picture—I admired it yesterday and admire it today
But you are tired of admiring it I see Well we shall not force you to be in raptures with it—shall we Miss Portman A man may be tired of the most beautiful face in the world or the most beautiful picture but really there is so much sweetness so much innocence such tender melancholy in this countenance that if I were a man I should inevitably be in love with it and in love for ever Such beauty if it were in nature would certainly fix the most inconstant man upon earth
Belinda ventured to take her eyes for an instant from the picture to see whether Clarence Hervey looked like the most inconstant man upon earth He was intently gazing upon her but as soon as she looked round he suddenly exclaimed as he turned to the picture—A heavenly countenance indeed—the painter has done justice to the poet
Poet repeated Lady Delacour the mans in the clouds
Pardon me said Clarence does not M de St Pierre deserve to be called a poet Though he does not write in rhyme surely he has a poetical imagination
Certainly said Belinda and from the composure with which Mr Hervey now spoke she was suddenly inclined to believe or to hope that all Sir Philips story was false M de St Pierre undoubtedly has a great deal of imagination and deserves to be called a poet
Very likely good people said Lady Delacour but what has that to do with the present purpose
Nay cried Clarence your ladyship certainly sees that this is St Pierres Virginia
St Pierres Virginia Oh I know who it is Clarence as well as you do I am not quite so blind or so stupid as you take me to be Then recollecting her promise not to betray Sir Philips secret she added pointing to the landscape of the picture These cocoa trees this fountain and the words Fontaine de Virginie inscribed on the rock—I must have been stupidity itself if I had not found it out I absolutely can read Clarence and spell and put together But here comes Sir Philip Baddely who I believe cannot read for I sent him an hour ago for a catalogue and he pores over the book as if he had not yet made out the title
Sir Philip had purposely delayed because he was afraid of rejoining Lady Delacour whilst Clarence Hervey was with her and whilst they were talking of the picture of Virginia
Heres the catalogue heres the picture your ladyship wants St Pierres Virginia damme I never heard of that fellow before—he is some new painter damme that is the reason I did not know the hand Not a word of what I told you Lady Delacour—you wont blow us to Clary added he aside to her ladyship Rochfort keeps aloof and so will I damme
A gentleman at this instant beckoned to Mr Hervey with an air of great eagerness Clarence went and spoke to him then returned with an altered countenance and apologized to Lady Delacour for not dining with her as he had promised Business he said of great importance required that he should leave town immediately Helena had just taken Miss Portman into a little room where Westalls drawings were hung to show her a group of Lady Anne Percival and her children and Belinda was alone with the little girl when Mr Hervey came to bid her adieu He was in much agitation
Miss Portman I shall not I am afraid see you again for some time—perhaps I may never have that—hem—happiness I had something of importance that I wished to say to you before I left town but I am forced to go so suddenly I can hardly hope for any moment but the present to speak to you madam May I ask whether you purpose remaining much longer with Lady Delacour
Yes said Belinda much surprised I believe—I am not quite certain—but I believe I shall stay with her ladyship some time longer
Mr Hervey looked painfully embarrassed and his eyes involuntarily fell upon little Helena Helena drew her hand gently away from Belinda left the room and retired to her mother
That child Miss Portman is very fond of you said Mr Hervey Again he paused and looked round to see whether he could be overheard Pardon me for what I am going to say This is not a proper place I must be abrupt for I am so circumstanced that I have not a moments time to spare May I speak to you with the sincerity of a friend
Yes Speak to me with sincerity said Belinda and you will deserve that I should think you my friend She trembled excessively but spoke and looked with all the firmness that she could command
I have heard a report said Mr Hervey which is most injurious to you
To me
Yes No one can escape calumny It is whispered that if Lady Delacour should die—
At the word die Belinda started
That if Lady Delacour should die Miss Portman would become the mother of Helena
Good Heavens what an absurd report Surely you could not for an instant believe it Mr Hervey
Not for an instant But I resolved as soon as I heard it to mention it to you for I believe that half the miseries of the world arise from foolish mysteries—from the want of courage to speak the truth Now that you are upon your guard your own prudence will defend you sufficiently I never saw any of your sex who appeared to me to have so much prudence and so little art but—farewell—I have not a moment to lose added Clarence suddenly checking himself and he hurried away from Belinda who stood fixed to the spot where he left her till she was roused by the voices of several people who came into the room to see the drawings She started as if from a dream and went immediately in search of Lady Delacour
Sir Philip Baddely was in earnest conversation with her ladyship but he stopped speaking when Belinda came within hearing and Lady Delacour turned to Helena and said My dear if you are satisfied for mercys sake let us be gone for I am absolutely overcome with heat—and with curiosity added she in a low voice to Belinda I long to hear how Clarence Hervey likes Westalls drawings
As soon as they got home Lady Delacour sent her daughter to practise a new lesson upon the piano forte And now sit down my dear Belinda said she and satisfy my curiosity It is the curiosity of a friend not of an impertinent busybody Has Clarence declared himself He chose an odd time and place but that is no matter I forgive him and so do you I dare say But why do you tear that unfortunate carnation to pieces Surely you cannot be embarrassed in speaking to me Whats the matter I once did tell you that I would not give up my claim to Clarences adorations during my life but I intend to live a few years longer after the amazonian operation is performed you know and I could not have the conscience to keep you waiting whole years It is better to do things with a good grace lest one should be forced at last to do them with an ill grace Therefore I give up all manner of claim to every thing but—flattery that of course you will allow me from poor Clarence So now do not begin upon another flower but without any farther superfluous modesty let me hear all the pretty things Clarence said or swore
Whilst Belinda was pulling the carnation to pieces she recollected what Mr Hervey had said to her about mysteries his words still sounded in her ear I believe that half the miseries of the world arise from foolish mysteries—from the want of courage to speak the truth I will have the courage to speak the truth thought she whatever it may cost me
The only pretty thing that Mr Hervey said was that he never saw any woman who had so much prudence and so little art said Belinda
A very pretty thing indeed my dear But it might have been said in open court by your grandfather or your greatgrandfather I am sorry if that was all that Helena did not stay to hear such a charming moral compliment—Moralité à la glace The last thing I should have expected in a têteàtête with Clarence Hervey Was it worth while to pull that poor flower to pieces for such a pretty speech as this And so that was all
No not all but you overpower me with your wit and I cannot stand the lightning of your eyes
There said her ladyship letting down her veil over her face the fire of my eyes is not too much for you now
Helena was showing me Westalls drawing of Lady Anne Percival and her children—
And Mr Hervey wished that he was the father of such a charming group of children and you the mother—hey was not that it It was not put in such plain terms but that was the purport I presume
No not at all he said nothing about Lady Anne Percivals children but—
But—why then did you bring in her ladyship and her children To gain time—Bad policy—Never whilst you live when you have a story to tell bring in a parcel of people who have nothing to do with the beginning the middle or the end of it How could I suspect you of such false taste I really imagined these children were essential to the business but I beg pardon for giving you these elements of criticism I assure you I interrupt you and talk on so fast from pure goodnature to give you time to recollect yourself for I know youve the worst of memories especially for what Clarence Hervey says But come my dear dash into the middle of things at once in the true Epic style
Then to dash into the midst of things at once said Miss Portman speaking very quick Mr Hervey observed that Miss Delacour was growing very fond of me
Miss Delacour did you say cried her ladyship Et puis
At this instant Champfort opened the door looked in and seeing Lady Delacour immediately retired
Champfort whom do you want—or what do you want said her ladyship
Miladi cest que—I did come from milord to see if miladi and mademoiselle were visible I did tink miladi was not at home
You see I am at home though said her ladyship Has Lord Delacour any business with me
No miladi not with miladi said Champfort it was with mademoiselle
With me Monsieur Champfort then you will be so good as to tell Lord Delacour I am here
And that I am not here Champfort for I must be gone to dress
She rose hastily to leave the room but Miss Portman caught her hand You wont go I hope Lady Delacour said she till I have finished my long story Lady Delacour sat down again ashamed of her own embarrassment
Whether this be art innocence or assurance thought she I cannot tell but we shall see
Lord Delacour now came in with a halfunfolded newspaper and a packet of letters in his hand He came to apologize to Miss Portman for having by mistake broken the seal of a letter to her which had been sent under cover to him He had simply asked Champfort whether the ladies were at home that he might not have the trouble of going up stairs if they were out Monsieur Champfort possessed in an eminent degree the mischievous art of appearing mysterious about the simplest things in the world
Though I was so thoughtless as to break the seal before I looked at the direction of the letter said Lord Delacour I assure you I went no farther than the first three words for I knew my dear niece could not possibly mean me He gave Miss Portman the letter and left the room This explanation was perfectly satisfactory to Belinda but Lady Delacour prejudiced by the hesitation of Champfort could not help suspecting that this letter was merely the ostensible cause of his lordships visit
From my aunt Stanhope said Miss Portman as she opened her letter She folded it up again after glancing over the first page and put it into her pocket colouring deeply
All Lady Delacours suspicions about Mrs Stanhopes epistolary counsels and secrets instantly recurred with almost the force of conviction to her mind
Miss Portman said she I hope your politeness to me does not prevent you from reading your letter Some ceremonious people think it vastly rude to read a letter in company but I am not one of them I can write whilst you read for I have fifty notes and more to answer So pray read your letter at your ease
Belinda had but just unfolded her letter again when Lord Delacour returned followed by Champfort who brought with him a splendid hammercloth
Here my dear Lady Delacour said his lordship is a little surprise for you here is a new hammercloth of my bespeaking and taste which I hope you will approve of
Very handsome upon my word said Lady Delacour coldly and she fixed her eyes upon the fringe which was black and orange Miss Portmans taste I see
Did you not say black and orange fringe my dear
No I said blue and white my lord
His lordship declared he did not know how the mistake had happened it was merely a mistake—but her ladyship was convinced that it was done on purpose And she said to herself Miss Portman will order my liveries next I have not even the shadow of power left in my own house I am not treated with even a decent show of respect But this shall go on till I have full conviction of her views
Dissembling her displeasure she praised the hammercloth and especially the fringe Lord Delacour retired satisfied and Miss Portman sat down to read the following letter from her aunt Stanhope
CHAPTER XV — JEALOUSY
Crescent Bath July—Wednesday
MY DEAR NIECE
I received safely the bank notes for my two hundred guineas enclosed in your last But you should never trust unnecessarily in this manner to the post—always when you are obliged to send bank notes by post cut them in two and send half by one post and half by another This is what is done by all prudent people Prudence whether in trifles or in matters of consequence can be learned only by experience which is often too dearly bought or by listening which costs nothing to the suggestions of those who have a thorough knowledge of the world
A report has just reached me concerning you and a certain lord which gives me the most heartfelt concern I always knew and told you that you were a great favourite with the person in question I depended on your prudence delicacy and principles to understand this hint properly and I trusted that you would conduct yourself accordingly It is too plain from the report alluded to that there has been some misconduct or mismanagement somewhere The misconduct I cannot—the mismanagement I must attribute to you my dear for let a mans admiration for any woman be ever so great unless she suffer herself to be dazzled by vanity or unless she be naturally of an inconsiderate temper she can surely prevent his partiality from becoming so glaring as to excite envy envy is always to be dreaded by handsome young women as being sooner or later infallibly followed by scandal Of this I fear you have not been sufficiently aware and you see the consequences—consequences which to a female of genuine delicacy or of real good sense must be extremely alarming Men of contracted minds and cold tempers who are absolutely incapable of feeling generous passion for our sex are often unaccountably ambitious to gain the reputation of being well with any woman whose beauty accomplishments or connexions may have brought her into fashion Whatever affection may be pretended this is frequently the ultimate and sole object of these selfish creatures Whether or not the person I have in my eye deserves to be included in this class I will not presume positively to determine but you who have personal opportunities of observation may decide this point if you have any curiosity on the subject by observing whether he most affects to pay his devoirs to you in public or in private If the latter be the case it is the most dangerous because a man even of the most contracted understanding has always sense or instinct enough to feel that the slightest taint in the reputation of the woman who is or who is to be his wife would affect his own private peace or his honour in the eyes of the world A husband who has in a first marriage been as it is said in constant fear both of matrimonial subjugation and disgrace would in his choice of a second lady be peculiarly nice and probably tardy Any degree of favour that might have been shown him any report that may have been raised and above all any restraint he might feel himself under from implied engagement or from the discovery or reputation of superior understanding and talents in the object beloved would operate infallibly against her to the confusion of all her plans and the ruin at once of her reputation her peace of mind and her hopes of an establishment Nay supposing the best that could possibly happen—that after playing with the utmost dexterity this desperate game the pool were absolutely your own yet if there were any suspicions of unfair play buzzed about amongst the bystanders you would not in the main be a gainer for my dear without character what is even wealth or all that wealth can bestow I do not mean to trouble you with stale wise sayings which young people hate nor musty morality which is seldom fit for use in the world or which smells too much of books to be brought into good company This is not my way of giving advice but I only beg you to observe what actually passes before your eyes in the circle in which we live Ladies of the best families with rank and fortune and beauty and fashion and every thing in their favour cannot as yet in this country dispense with the strictest observance of the rules of virtue and decorum Some have fancied themselves raised so high above the vulgar as to be in no danger from the thunder and lightning of public opinion but these ladies in the clouds have found themselves mistaken—they have been blasted and have fallen nobody knows where What is become of Lady —— and the Countess of —— and others I could mention who were as high as envy could look I remember seeing the Countess of —— who was then the most beautiful creature my eyes ever beheld and the most admired that ever was heard of come into the Operahouse and sit the whole night in her box without any womans speaking or courtesying to her or taking any more notice of her than you would of a post or a beggarwoman Even a coronet cannot protect a woman you see from disgrace if she falls she and it and all together are trampled under foot But why should I address all this to my dear niece Whither have the terror and confusion I was thrown into by this strange report about you and Lord —— led me And yet one cannot be too cautious—Ce nest que le premier mot qui coute—Scandal never stops after the first word unless she be instantly gagged by a dexterous hand Nothing shall be wanting on my part but you alone are the person who can do any thing effectual Do not imagine that I would have you quit Lady—— that is the first idea I know that will come into your silly little head but put it out directly If you were upon this attack to quit the field of battle you yield the victory to your enemies To leave Lady——s house would be folly and madness As long as she is your friend or appears such all is safe but any coolness on her part would in the present circumstances be death to your reputation And even if you were to leave her on the best terms possible the malicious world would say that you left her on the worst and would assign as a reason the report alluded to People who have not yet believed it would then conclude that it must be true and thus by your cowardice you would furnish an incontrovertible argument against your innocence I therefore desire that you will not upon any account think of coming home to me at present indeed I hope your own good sense would prevent you from wishing it after the reasons that I have given Far from quitting Lady —— from false delicacy it is your business from consideration for her peace as well as your own to redouble your attentions to her in private and above all things to appear as much as possible with her in public I am glad to hear her health is so far reestablished that she can appear again in public her spirits as you may hint will be the better for a little amusement Luckily you have it completely in your power to convince her and all the world of the correctness of your mind I believe I certainly should have fainted my dear when I first heard this shocking report if I had not just afterward received a letter from Sir Philip Baddely which revived me His proposal at this crisis for you my dear is a charming thing You have nothing to do but to encourage his addresses immediately—the report dies away of itself and all is just as your best friends wish Such an establishment for you my dear is indeed beyond their most sanguine expectations Sir Philip hints in his letter that my influence might be wanting with you in his favour but this surely cannot be As I have told him he has merely mistaken becoming female reserve for a want of sensibility on your part which would be equally unnatural and absurd Do you know my dear that Sir Philip Baddely has an estate of fifteen thousand ayear in Wiltshire and his uncle Bartons estate in Norfolk will in due time pay his debts Then as to family—look in the lists of baronets in your pocketbook and surely my love an old baronetage in actual possession is worth something more than the reversion of a new coronet supposing that such a thing could properly be thought of which Heaven forbid So I see no possible objection to Sir Philip my dear Belinda and I am sure you have too much candour and good sense to make any childish or romantic difficulties Sir Philip is not I know a man of what you call genius So much the better my dear—those men of genius are dangerous husbands they have so many oddities and eccentricities there is no managing them though they are mighty pleasant men in company to enliven conversation for example your favourite Clarence Hervey As it is well known he is not a marrying man you never can have thought of him You are not a girl to expose yourself to the ridicule c of all your female acquaintance by romance and nonsense I cannot conceive that a niece of mine could degrade herself by a mean prepossession for a man who has never made any declaration of his attachment to her and who I am sure feels no such attachment That you may not deceive yourself it is fit I should tell you what otherwise it might not be so proper to mention to a young lady that he keeps and has kept a mistress for some years and those who are most intimately in his confidence have assured me that if ever he marries any body he will marry this girl which is not impossible considering that she is they say the most beautiful young creature that ever was seen and he a man of genius If you have any sense or spirit I have said enough So adieu—Let me hear by return of the post that every thing is going on as it should do I am impatient to write to your sister Tollemache this good news I always foretold that my Belinda would marry better than her sister or any of her cousins and take place of them all Are not you obliged to me for sending you this winter to town to Lady —— It was an admirable hit Pray tell Lady Delacour with my best compliments that our aloe friend her ladyship will understand me cheated a gentleman of my acquaintance the other day at casino out of seventy guineas He hates the sight of her odious red wig as much now as we always did I knew and told Lady D—— as she will do me the justice to remember that Mrs——cheated at play What a contemptible character—Pray my dear do not forget to tell Lady Delacour that I have a charming anecdote for her about another friend of ours who has lately gone over to the enemy Has her ladyship seen a manuscript that is handed about as a great secret and said to be by —— a parallel between our friend and the Chevalier dEon It is done with infinite wit and humour in the manner of Plutarch I would send a copy but am afraid my frank would be too heavy if I began upon another sheet So once more adieu my dear niece Write to me without fail and mention Sir Philip I have written to him to give my approbation c
Yours sincerely
SELINA STANHOPE
Mrs Stanhope seems to have written you a volume instead of a letter Bliss Portman cried Lady Delacour as Belinda turned over the sheets of her aunts long epistle She did not attempt to read it regularly through some passages here and there were sufficient to astonish and shock her extremely No bad news I hope said Lady Delacour again looking up from her writing at Belinda who sat motionless leaning her head upon her hand as if deep in thought Mrs Stanhopes unfolded letter hanging from her hand In the midst of the variety of embarrassing painful and alarming feelings excited by this letter she had sufficient strength of mind to adhere to her resolution of speaking the exact truth to Lady Delacour When she was roused by her ladyships question No bad news I hope Miss Portman she instantly answered with all the firmness she could command Yes My aunt has been alarmed by a strange report which I heard myself for the first time this morning from Mr Hervey I am sure I am much obliged to him for having the courage to speak the truth to me Here she repeated what Mr Hervey had said to her Lady Delacour never raised her eyes whilst Belinda spoke but went on scratching out some words in what she was writing Through the mask of paint which she wore no change of colour could be visible and as Belinda did not see the expression of her ladyships eyes she could not in the least judge of what was passing in her mind
Mr Hervey has acted like a man of honour and sense said Lady Delacour but it is a pity for your sake he did not speak sooner—before this report became so public—before it reached Bath and your aunt Though it could not surprise her much she has such a perfect knowledge of the world and ——
Lady Delacour uttered these broken sentences in a voice of suppressed anger cleared her throat several times and at last unable to speak stopped short and then began with much precipitation to put wafers into several notes that she had been writing So it has reached Bath thought she—the report is public I never till now heard a hint of any such thing except from Sir Philip Baddely but it has doubtless been the common talk of the town and I am laughed at as a dupe and an idiot as I am And now when the thing can he concealed no longer she comes to me with that face of simplicity and knowing my generous temper throws herself on my mercy and trusts that her speaking to me with this audacious plainness will convince me of her innocence You have acted in the most prudent manner possible Miss Portman said her ladyship as she went on sealing her notes by speaking at once to me of this strange scandalous absurd report Do you act from your aunt Stanhopes advice or entirely from your own judgment and knowledge of my character
From my own judgment and knowledge of your character in which I hope—I am not—I cannot be mistaken said Belinda looking at her with a mixture of doubt and astonishment
No—you calculated admirably—twas the best the only thing you could do Only said her ladyship falling back in her chair with an hysteric laugh only the blunder of Champfort and the entrance of my Lord Delacour and the hammercloth with the orange and black fringe—forgive me my dear for the soul of me I cant help laughing—it was rather unlucky so awkward such a contretemps But you added she wiping her eyes as if recovering from laughter you have such admirable presence of mind nothing disconcerts you You are equal to all situations and stand in no need of such long letters of advice from your aunt Stanhope pointing to the two folio sheets which lay at Belindas feet
The rapid unconnected manner in which Lady Delacour spoke the hurry of her motions the quick suspicious angry glances of her eye her laugh her unintelligible words all conspired at this moment to give Belinda the idea that her intellects were suddenly disordered She was so firmly persuaded of her ladyships utter indifference to Lord Delacour that she never conceived the possibility of her being actuated by the passion of jealousy—by the jealousy of power—a species of jealousy which she had never felt and could not comprehend But she had sometimes seen Lady Delacour in starts of passion that seemed to border on insanity and the idea of her losing all command of her reason now struck Belinda with irresistible force She felt the necessity of preserving her own composure and with all the calmness that she could assume she took up her aunt Stanhopes letter and looked for the passage in which Mrs Luttridge and Harriot Freke were mentioned If I can turn the course of Lady Delacours mind thought she or catch her attention perhaps she will recover herself Here is a message to you my dear Lady Delacour cried she from my aunt Stanhope about—about Mrs Luttridge
Miss Portmans hand trembled as she turned over the pages of the letter I am all attention said Lady Delacour with a composed voice only take care dont make a mistake Im in no hurry dont read any thing Mrs Stanhope might not wish It is dangerous to garble letters almost as dangerous as to snatch them out of a friends hand as I once did you know—but you need not now be under the least alarm
Conscious that this letter was not fit for her ladyship to see Belinda neither offered to show it to her nor attempted any apology for her reserve and embarrassment but hastily began to read the message relative to Mrs Luttridge her voice gaining confidence as she went on as she observed that she had fixed Lady Delacours attention who now sat listening to her calm and motionless But when Miss Portman came to the words Do not forget to tell Lady D —— that I have a charming anecdote for her about another friend of hers who lately went over to the enemy her ladyship exclaimed with great vehemence Friend—Harriot Freke—Yes like all other friends—Harriot Freke—What was she compared to Tis too much for me—too much and she put her hand to her head
Compose yourself my dear friend said Belinda in a calm gentle tone and she went toward her with an intention of soothing her by caresses but at her approach Lady Delacour pushed the table on which she had been writing from her with violence started up flung back the veil which fell over her face as she rose and darted upon Belinda a look which fixed her to the spot where she stood It said Come not a step nearer at your peril Belindas blood ran cold—she had no longer any doubt that this was insanity She shut the penknife which lay upon the table and put it into her pocket
Cowardly creature cried Lady Delacour and her countenance changed to the expression of ineffable contempt what is it you fear
That you should injure yourself Sit down—for Heavens sake listen to me to your friend to Belinda
My friend my Belinda cried Lady Delacour and she turned from her and walked away some steps in silence then suddenly clasping her hands she raised her eyes to heaven with a fervent but wild expression of devotion and exclaimed Great God of heaven my punishment is just the death of Lawless is avenged May the present agony of my soul expiate my folly Of guilt—deliberate guilt—of hypocrisy—treachery—I have not—oh never may I have—to repent
She paused—her eyes involuntarily returned upon Belinda Oh Belinda You whom I have so loved—so trusted
The tears rolled fast down her painted cheeks she wiped them hastily away and so roughly that her face became a strange and ghastly spectacle Unconscious of her disordered appearance she rushed past Belinda who vainly attempted to stop her threw up the sash and stretching herself far out of the window gasped for breath Miss Portman drew her back and closed the window saying The rouge is all off your face my dear Lady Delacour you are not fit to be seen Sit down upon this sofa and I will ring for Marriott and get some fresh rouge Look at your face in this glass—you see—
I see interrupted Lady Delacour looking full at Belinda that she who I thought had the noblest of souls has the meanest I see that she is incapable of feeling Rouge not fit to be seen—At such a time as this to talk to me in this manner Oh niece of Mrs Stanhope—dupe—dupe that I am She flung herself upon the sofa and struck her forehead with her hand violently several times Belinda catching her arm and holding it with all her force cried in a tone of authority Command yourself Lady Delacour I conjure you or you will go out of your senses and if you do your secret will be discovered by the whole world
Hold me not—you have no right cried Lady Delacour struggling to free her hand Allpowerful as you are in this house you have no longer any power over me I am not going out of my senses You cannot get me into Bedlam allpowerful allartful as you are You have done enough to drive me mad—but I am not mad No wonder you cannot believe me—no wonder you are astonished at the strong expression of feelings that are foreign to your nature—no wonder that you mistake the writhings of the heart the agony of a generous soul for madness Look not so terrified I will do you no injury Do not you hear that I can lower my voice—do not you see that I can be calm Could Mrs Stanhope herself—could you Miss Portman speak in a softer milder more polite more proper tone than I do now Are you pleased are you satisfied
I am better satisfied—a little better satisfied said Belinda
Thats well but still you tremble Theres not the least occasion for apprehension—you see I can command myself and smile upon you
Oh do not smile in that horrid manner
Why not—Horrid—Dont you love deceit
I detest it from my soul
Indeed said Lady Delacour still speaking in the same low soft unnatural voice then why do you practise it my love
I never practised it for a moment—I am incapable of deceit When you are really calm when you can really command yourself you will do me justice Lady Delacour but now it is my business if I can to bear with you
You are goodness itself and gentleness and prudence personified You know perfectly how to manage a friend whom you fear you have driven just to the verge of madness But tell me good gentle prudent Miss Portman why need you dread so much that I should go mad You know if I went mad nobody would mind nobody would believe whatever I say—I should be no evidence against you and I should be out of your way sufficiently shouldnt I And you would have all the power in your own hands would not you And would not this be almost as well as if I were dead and buried No your calculations are better than mine The poor mad wife would still be in your way would yet stand between you and the fond object of your secret soul—a coronet
As she pronounced the word coronet she pointed to a coronet set in diamonds on her watchcase which lay on the table Then suddenly seizing the watch she dashed it upon the marble hearth with all her force—Vile bauble cried she must I lose my only friend for such a thing as you Oh Belinda do you see that a coronet cannot confer happiness
I have seen it long I pity you from the bottom of my soul said Belinda bursting into tears
Pity me not I cannot endure your pity treacherous woman cried Lady Delacour and she stamped with a look of rage—most perfidious of women
Yes call me perfidious treacherous—stamp at me—say do what you will I can and will bear it all—all patiently for I am innocent and you are mistaken and unhappy said Belinda You will love me when you return to your senses then how can I be angry with you
Fondle me not said Lady Delacour starting back from Belindas caresses do not degrade yourself to no purpose—I never more can be your dupe Your protestations of innocence are wasted on me—I am not so blind as you imagine—dupe as you think me I have seen much in silence The whole world you find suspects you now To save your reputation you want my friendship—you want—
I want nothing from you Lady Delacour said Belinda You have suspected me long in silence then I have mistaken your character—I can love you no longer Farewell for ever Find another—a better friend
She walked away from Lady Delacour with proud indignation but before she reached the door she recollected her promise to remain with this unfortunate woman
Is a dying woman in the paroxysm of insane passion a fit object of indignation thought Belinda and she stopped short No Lady Delacour cried she I will not yield to my humour—I will not listen to my pride A few words said in the heat of passion shall not make me forget myself or you You have given me your confidence I am grateful for it I cannot will not desert you my promise is sacred
Your promise said Lady Delacour contemptuously I absolve you from your promise Unless you find it convenient to yourself to remember it pray let it be forgotten and if I must die—
At this instant the door opened suddenly and little Helena came in singing—
Merrily merrily shall we live now
Under the blossom that hangs on the bough
What comes next Miss Portman
Lady Delacour dragged her veil across her face and rushed out of the room
What is the matter—Is mamma ill
Yes my dear said Belinda But at this instant she heard the sound of Lord Delacours voice upon the stairs she broke from the little girl and with the greatest precipitation retreated to her own room
She had not been alone above an hour before Marriott knocked at the door
Miss Portman you dont know how late it is Lady Singleton and the Miss Singletons are come But merciful heaven exclaimed Marriott as she entered the room what is all this packing up What is this trunk
I am going to Oaklypark with Lady Anne Percival said Belinda calmly
I thought there was something wrong my mind misgave me all the time I was dressing my lady—she was in such a flutter and never spoke to me Id lay my life this is some way or other Mr Champforts doings But good dear Miss Portman can you leave my poor lady when she wants you so much and Ill take upon me to say maam loves you so much at the bottom of her heart Dear me how your face is flushed Pray let me pack up these things if it must be But I do hope if it be possible that you should stay However Ive no business to speak I beg pardon for being so impertinent I hope you wont take it ill—it is only from regard to my poor lady I ventured to speak
Your regard to your lady deserves the highest approbation Marriott said Belinda It is impossible that I should stay with her any longer When I am gone good Marriott and when her health and strength decline your fidelity and your services will be absolutely necessary to your mistress and from what I have seen of the goodness of your heart I am convinced that the more she is in want of you the more respectful will be your attention
Marriott answered only by her tears and went on packing up in a great hurry
Nothing could equal Lady Delacours astonishment when she learnt from Marriott that Miss Portman was actually preparing to leave the house After a moments reflection however she persuaded herself that this was only a new artifice to work upon her affections that Belinda did not mean to leave her but that she would venture all lengths in hopes of being at the last moment pressed to stay Under this persuasion Lady Delacour resolved to disappoint her expectations she determined to meet her with that polite coldness which would best become her own dignity and which without infringing the laws of hospitality would effectually point out to the world that Lady Delacour was no dupe and that Miss Portman was an unwelcome inmate in her house
The power of assuming gaiety when her heart was a prey to the most poignant feelings she had completely acquired by long practice With the promptitude of an actress she could instantly appear upon the stage and support a character totally foreign to her own The loud knocks at the door which announced the arrival of company were signals that operated punctually upon her associations and to this species of conventional necessity her most violent passions submitted with magical celerity Fresh rouged and beautifully dressed she was performing her part to a brilliant audience in her drawingroom when Belinda entered Belinda beheld her with much astonishment but more pity
Miss Portman said her ladyship turning carelessly towards her where do you buy your rouge—Lady Singleton would you rather at this moment be mistress of the philosophers stone or have a patent for rouge that will come and go like Miss Portmans—Apropos have you read St Leon Her ladyship was running on to a fresh train of ideas when a footman announced the arrival of Lady Anne Percivals carriage and Miss Portman rose to depart
You dine with Lady Anne Miss Portman I understand—My compliments to her ladyship and my duty to Mrs Margaret Delacour and her macaw Au revoir Though you talk of running away from me to Oaklypark I am sure you will do no such cruel thing I am with all due humility so confident of the irresistible attractions of this house that I defy Oaklypark and all its charms So Miss Portman instead of adieu I shall only say au revoir
Adieu Lady Delacour said Belinda with a look and tone which struck her ladyship to the heart All her suspicions all her pride all her affected gaiety vanished her presence of mind forsook her and for some moments she stood motionless and powerless Then recollecting herself she flew after Miss Portman abruptly stopped her at the head of the stairs and exclaimed My dearest Belinda are you gone—My best my only friend—Say you are not gone for ever—Say you will return
Adieu repeated Belinda It was all she could say she broke from Lady Delacour and hurried out of the house with the strongest feeling of compassion for this unhappy woman but with an unaltered sense of the propriety and necessity of her own firmness
CHAPTER XVI — DOMESTIC HAPPINESS
There was an air of benevolence and perfect sincerity in the politeness with which Lady Anne Percival received Belinda that was peculiarly agreeable to her agitated and harassed mind
You see Lady Anne said Belinda that I come to you at last after having so often refused your kind invitations
So you surrender yourself at discretion just when I was going to raise the siege in despair said Lady Anne now I may make my own terms and the only terms I shall impose are that you will stay at Oaklypark with us as long as we can make it agreeable to you and no longer Whether those who cease to please or those who cease to be pleased are most to blame6 it may sometimes be difficult to determine so difficult that when this becomes a question between two friends they perhaps had better part than venture upon the discussion
Lady Anne Percival could not avoid suspecting that something disagreeable had passed between Lady Delacour and Belinda but she was not troubled with the disease of idle curiosity and her example prevailed upon Mrs Margaret Delacour who dined with her to refrain from all questions and comments
The prejudice which this lady had conceived against our heroine as being a niece of Mrs Stanhopes had lately been vanquished by the favourable representations of her conduct which she had heard from her nephew and by the kindness that Belinda had shown to little Helena
Madam said Mrs Delacour addressing herself to Miss Portman with some formality but much dignity permit me as one of my Lord Delacours nearest relations now living to return you my thanks for having as my nephew informs me exerted your influence over Lady Delacour for the happiness of his family My little Helena I am sure feels her obligations towards you and I rejoice that I have had an opportunity of expressing in person my sense of what our family owes to Miss Portman As to the rest her own heart will reward her The praise of the world is but an inferior consideration However it deserves to be mentioned as an instance of the worlds candour and for the singularity of the case that every body agrees in speaking well even of so handsome a young lady as Miss Portman
She must have had extraordinary prudence said Lady Anne and the world does justly to reward it with extraordinary esteem
Belinda with equal pleasure and surprise observed that all this was said sincerely and that the report which she had feared was public had never reached Mrs Delacour or Lady Anne Percival
In fact it was known and believed only by those who had been prejudiced by the malice or folly of Sir Philip Baddely Piqued by the manner in which his addresses had been received by Belinda he readily listened to the comfortable words of his valet de chambre who assured him that he had it from the best possible authority Lord Delacours own gentleman Mr Champfort that his lordship was deeply taken with Miss Portman—that the young lady managed every thing in the house—that she had been very prudent to be sure and had refused large presents—but that there was no doubt of her becoming Lady Delacour if ever his lordship should be at liberty Sir Philip was the person who mentioned this to Clarence Hervey and Sir Philip was the person who hinted it to Mrs Stanhope in the very letter which he wrote to implore her influence in favour of his own proposal This manoeuvring lady represented this report as being universally known and believed in hopes of frightening her niece into an immediate match with the baronet In the whole extent of Mrs Stanhopes politic imagination she had never foreseen the possibility of her nieces speaking the simple truth to Lady Delacour and she had never guarded against this danger She never thought of Belindas mentioning this report to her ladyship because she would never have dealt so openly had she been in the place of her niece Thus her art and falsehood operated against her own views and produced consequences diametrically opposite to her expectations It was her exaggerations that made Lady Delacour believe when Belinda repeated what she had said that this report was universally known and credited her own suspicions were by these means again awakened and her jealousy and rage were raised to such a pitch that no longer mistress of herself she insulted her friend and guest Miss Portman was then obliged to do the very thing that Mrs Stanhope most dreaded—to leave Lady Delacours house and all its advantages As to Sir Philip Baddely Belinda never thought of him from the moment she read her aunts letter till after she had left her ladyship her mind was firmly decided upon this subject yet she could not help fearing that her aunt would not understand her reasons or approve her conduct She wrote to Mrs Stanhope in the most kind and respectful manner assured her that there had been no foundation whatever for the report which had produced so much uneasiness that Lord Delacour had always treated her with politeness and goodnature but that such thoughts or views as had been attributed to him she was convinced had never entered his lordships mind that hearing of the publicity of this report had however much affected Lady D—— I have therefore said Belinda thought it prudent to quit her ladyship and to accept of an invitation from Lady Anne Percival to Oaklypark I hope my dear aunt that you will not be displeased by my leaving town without seeing Sir Philip Baddely again Our meeting could indeed answer no purpose as it is entirely out of my power to return his partiality Of his character temper and manners I know enough to be convinced that our union could tend only to make us both miserable After what I have seen nothing can ever tempt me to marry from any of the common views of interest or ambition
On this subject Belinda though she declared her own sentiments with firm sincerity touched as slightly as she could because she anxiously wished to avoid all appearance of braving the opinions of an aunt to whom she was under obligations She was tempted to pass over in silence all that part of Mrs Stanhopes letter which related to Clarence Hervey but upon reflection she determined to conquer her repugnance to speak of him and to make perfect sincerity the steady rule of her conduct She therefore acknowledged to her aunt that of all the persons she had hitherto seen this gentleman was the most agreeable to her but at the same time she assured her that the refusal of Sir Philip Baddely was totally independent of all thoughts of Mr Hervey—that before she had received her aunts letter circumstances had convinced her that Mr Hervey was attached to another woman She concluded by saying that she had neither romantic hopes nor wishes and that her affections were at her own command
Belinda received the following angry answer from Mrs Stanhope—
Henceforward Belinda you may manage your own affairs as you think proper I shall never more interfere with my advice Refuse whom you please—go where you please—get what friends and what admirers and what establishment you can—I have nothing more to do with it—I will never more undertake the management of young people Theres your sister Tollemache has made a pretty return for all my kindness she is going to be parted from her husband and basely throws all the blame upon me But tis the same with all of you Theres your cousin Joddrell refused me a hundred guineas last week though the pianoforte and harp I bought for her before she was married stood me in double that sum and are now useless lumber on my hands and she never could have had Joddrell without them as she knows as well as I do As for Mrs Levit she never writes to me and takes no manner of notice of me But this is no matter for her notice can be of no consequence now to any body Levit has run out every thing he had in the world—All his fine estates advertised in todays paper—an execution in the House Im told I expect that she will have the assurance to come to me in her distress but she shall find my doors shut I promise her Your cousin Valletons match has through her own folly turned out like all the rest She her husband and all his relations are at daggersdrawing and Valleton will die soon and wont leave her a farthing in his will I foresee and all the fine Valleton estate goes to God knows whom
If she had taken my advice after marriage as before it would have been all her own at this instant But the passions run away with people and they forget every thing—common sense gratitude and all—as you do Belinda Clarence Hervey will never think of you and I give you up—Now manage for yourself as you please and as you can Ill have nothing more to do with the affairs of young ladies who will take no advice
SELINA STANHOPE
P S If you return directly to Lady Delacours and marry Sir Philip Baddely I will forgive the past
The regret which Belinda felt at having grievously offended her aunt was somewhat alleviated by the reflection that she had acted with integrity and prudence Thrown off her guard by anger Mrs Stanhope had inadvertently furnished her niece with the best possible reasons against following her advice with regard to Sir Philip Baddely by stating that her sister and cousins who had married with mercenary views had made themselves miserable and had shown their aunt neither gratitude nor respect
The tranquillity of Belindas mind was gradually restored by the society that she enjoyed at Oaklypark She found herself in the midst of a large and cheerful family with whose domestic happiness she could not forbear to sympathize There was an affectionate confidence an unconstrained gaiety in this house which forcibly struck her from its contrast with what she had seen at Lady Delacours She perceived that between Mr Percival and Lady Anne there was a union of interests occupations taste and affection She was at first astonished by the openness with which they talked of their affairs in her presence that there were no family secrets nor any of those petty mysteries which arise from a discordance of temper or struggle for power In conversation every person expressed without constraint their wishes and opinions and wherever these differed reason and the general good were the standards to which they appealed The elder and younger part of the family were not separated from each other even the youngest child in the house seemed to form part of the society to have some share and interest in the general occupations or amusements The children were treated neither as slaves nor as playthings but as reasonable creatures and the ease with which they were managed and with which they managed themselves surprised Belinda for she heard none of that continual lecturing which goes forward in some houses to the great fatigue and misery of all the parties concerned and of all the spectators Without force or any factitious excitements the taste for knowledge and the habits of application were induced by example and confirmed by sympathy Mr Percival was a man of science and literature and his daily pursuits and general conversation were in the happiest manner instructive and interesting to his family His knowledge of the world and his natural gaiety of disposition rendered his conversation not only useful but in the highest degree amusing From the merest trifles he could lead to some scientific fact some happy literary allusion or philosophical investigation
Lady Anne Percival had without any pedantry or ostentation much accurate knowledge and a taste for literature which made her the chosen companion of her husbands understanding as well as of his heart He was not obliged to reserve his conversation for friends of his own sex nor was he forced to seclude himself in the pursuit of any branch of knowledge the partner of his warmest affections was also the partner of his most serious occupations and her sympathy and approbation and the daily sense of her success in the education of their children inspired him with a degree of happy social energy unknown to the selfish solitary votaries of avarice and ambition
In this large and happy family there was a variety of pursuits One of the boys was fond of chemistry another of gardening one of the daughters had a talent for painting another for music and all their acquirements and accomplishments contributed to increase their mutual happiness for there was no envy or jealousy amongst them
Those who unfortunately have never enjoyed domestic happiness such as we have just described will perhaps suppose the picture to be visionary and romantic there are others—it is hoped many others—who will feel that it is drawn from truth and real life Tastes that have been vitiated by the stimulus of dissipation might perhaps think these simple pleasures insipid
Every body must ultimately judge of what makes them happy from the comparison of their own feelings in different situations Belinda was convinced by this comparison that domestic life was that which could alone make her really and permanently happy She missed none of the pleasures none of the gay company to which she had been accustomed at Lady Delacours She was conscious at the end of each day that it had been agreeably spent yet there were no extraordinary exertions made to entertain her every thing seemed in its natural course and so did her mind Where there was so much happiness no want of what is called pleasure was ever experienced She had not been at Oaklypark a week before she forgot that it was within a few miles of Harrowgate and she never once recollected her vicinity to this fashionable waterdrinking place for a month afterwards
Impossible some young ladies will exclaim We hope others will feel that it was perfectly natural But to deal fairly with our readers we must not omit to mention a certain Mr Vincent who came to Oaklypark during the first week of Belindas visit and who stayed there during the whole succeeding month of felicity Mr Vincent was a creole he was about twoandtwenty his person and manners were striking and engaging he was tall and remarkably handsome he had large dark eyes an aquiline nose fine hair and a manly sunburnt complexion his countenance was open and friendly and when he spoke upon any interesting subject it lighted up and became full of fire and animation He used much gesture in conversation he had not the common manners of young men who are or who aim at being thought fashionable but he was perfectly at ease in company and all that was uncommon about him appeared foreign He had a frank ardent temper incapable of art or dissimulation and so unsuspicious of all mankind that he could scarcely believe falsehood existed in the world even after he had himself been its dupe He was in extreme astonishment at the detection of any species of baseness in a gentleman for he considered honour and generosity as belonging indefeasibly if not exclusively to the privileged orders His notions of virtue were certainly aristocratic in the extreme but his ambition was to entertain such only as would best support and dignify an aristocracy His pride was magnanimous not insolent and his social prejudices were such as in some degree to supply the place of the power and habit of reasoning in which he was totally deficient One principle of philosophy he practically possessed in perfection he enjoyed the present undisturbed by any unavailing regret for the past or troublesome solicitude about the future All the goods of life he tasted with epicurean zest all the evils he bore with stoical indifference The mere pleasure of existence seemed to keep him in perpetual good humour with himself and others and his neverfailing flow of animal spirits exhilarated even the most phlegmatic To persons of a cold and reserved temper he sometimes appeared rather too much of an egotist for he talked with fluent enthusiasm of the excellent qualities and beauties of whatever he loved whether it were his dog his horse or his country but this was not the egotism of vanity it was the overflowing of an affectionate heart confident of obtaining sympathy from his fellowcreatures because conscious of feeling it for all that existed
He was as grateful as he was generous and though highspirited and impatient of restraint he would submit with affectionate gentleness to the voice of a friend or listen with deference to the counsel of those in whose superior judgment he had confidence Gratitude respect and affection all conspired to give Mr Percival the strongest power over his soul Mr Percival had been a guardian and a father to him His own father an opulent merchant on his deathbed requested that his son who was then about eighteen might be immediately sent to England for the advantages of a European education Mr Percival who had a regard for the father arising from circumstances which it is not here necessary to explain accepted the charge of young Vincent and managed so well that his ward when he arrived at the age of twentyone did not feel relieved from any restraint On the contrary his attachment to his guardian increased from that period when the laws gave him full command over his fortune and his actions Mr Vincent had been at Harrowgate for some time before Mr Percival came into the country but as soon as he heard of Mr Percivals arrival he left half finished a game of billiards of which bythebye he was extremely fond to pay his respects at Oaklypark At the first sight of Belinda he did not seem much struck with her appearance perhaps from his thinking that there was too little languor in her eyes and too much colour in her cheeks he confessed that she was graceful but her motions were not quite slow enough to please him
It is somewhat singular that Lady Delacours faithful friend Harriot Freke should be the cause of Mr Vincents first fixing his favourable attention on Miss Portman
He had a black servant of the name of Juba who was extremely attached to him he had known Juba from a boy and had brought him over with him when he first came to England because the poor fellow begged so earnestly to go with young massa Juba had lived with him ever since and accompanied him wherever he went Whilst he was at Harrowgate Mr Vincent lodged in the same house with Mrs Freke Some dispute arose between their servants about the right to a coachhouse which each party claimed as exclusively their own The master of the house was appealed to by Juba who sturdily maintained his massas right he established it and rolled his massas curricle into the coachhouse in triumph Mrs Freke who heard and saw the whole transaction from her window said or swore that she would make Juba repent of what she called his insolence The threat was loud enough to reach his ears and he looked up in astonishment to hear such a voice from a woman but an instant afterwards he began to sing very gaily as he jumped into the curricle to turn the cushions and then danced himself up and down by the springs as if rejoicing in his victory A second and a third time Mrs Freke repeated her threat confirming it by an oath and then violently shut down the window and disappeared Mr Vincent to whom Juba with much simplicity expressed his aversion of the manwoman who lived in the house with them laughed at the odd manner in which the black imitated her voice and gesture but thought no more of the matter Some time afterward however Jubas spirits forsook him he was never heard to sing or to whistle he scarcely ever spoke even to his master who was much surprised by this sudden change from gaiety and loquacity to melancholy taciturnity Nothing could draw from the poor fellow any explanation of the cause of this alteration in his humour and though he seemed excessively grateful for the concern which his master showed about his health no kindness or amusement could restore him to his wonted cheerfulness Mr Vincent knew that he was passionately fond of music and having heard him once express a wish for a tambourine he gave him one but Juba never played upon it and his spirits seemed every day to grow worse and worse This melancholy lasted during the whole time that he remained at Harrowgate but from the first day of his arrival at Oaklypark he began to mend after he had been there a week he was heard to sing and whistle and talk as he used to do and his master congratulated him upon his recovery One evening his master asked him to go back to Harrowgate for his tambourine as little Charles Percival wished to hear him play upon it This simple request had a wonderful effect upon poor Juba he began to tremble from head to foot his eyes became fixed and he stood motionless after some time he suddenly clasped his hands fell upon his knees and exclaimed
Oh massa Juba die If Juba go back Juba die and he wiped away the drops that stood upon his forehead But me will go if massa bid—me will die
Mr Vincent began to imagine that the poor fellow was out of his senses He assured him with the greatest kindness that he would almost as soon hazard his own life as that of such a faithful affectionate servant but he pressed him to explain what possible danger he dreaded from returning to Harrowgate Juba was silent as if afraid to speak—Dont fear to speak to me said Mr Vincent I will defend you if anybody have injured you or if you dread that any body will injure you trust to me I will protect you
Ah massa you no can Me die if me go back Me no can say word more and he put his finger upon his lips and shook his head Mr Vincent knew that Juba was excessively superstitious and convinced that if his mind were not already deranged it would certainly become so were any secret terror thus to prey upon his imagination he assumed a very grave countenance and assured him that he should be extremely displeased if he persisted in this foolish and obstinate silence Overcome by this Juba burst into tears and answered
Den me will tell all
This conversation passed before Miss Portman and Charles Percival who were walking in the park with Mr Vincent at the time he met Juba and asked him to go for the tambourine When he came to the words Me will tell all he made a sign that he wished to tell it to his master alone Belinda and the little boy walked on to leave him at liberty to speak and then though with a sort of reluctant horror he told that the figure of an old woman all in flames had appeared to him in his bedchamber at Harrowgate every night and that he was sure she was one of the obeahwomen of his own country who had pursued him to Europe to revenge his having once when he was a child trampled upon an eggshell that contained some of her poisons The extreme absurdity of this story made Mr Vincent burst out a laughing but his humanity the next instant made him serious for the poor victim of superstitious terror after having revealed what according to the belief of his country it is death to mention fell senseless on the ground When he came to himself he calmly said that he knew he must now die for that the obeahwomen never forgave those that talked of them or their secrets and with a deep groan he added that he wished he might die before night that he might not see her again It was in vain to attempt to reason him out of the idea that he had actually seen this apparition his account of it was that it first appeared to him in the coachhouse one night when he went thither in the dark—that he never afterwards went to the coachhouse in the dark—but that the same figure of an old woman all in flames appeared at the foot of his bed every night whilst he stayed at Harrowgate and that he was then persuaded she would never let him escape from her power till she had killed him That since he had left Harrowgate however she had not tormented him for he had never seen her and he was in hopes that she had forgiven him but that now he was sure of her vengeance for having spoken of her
Mr Vincent knew the astonishing power which the belief in this species of sorcery7 has over the minds of the Jamaica negroes they pine and actually die away from the moment they fancy themselves under the malignant influence of these witches He almost gave poor Juba over for lost The first person that he happened to meet after his conversation was Belinda to whom he eagerly related it because he had observed that she had listened with much attention and sympathy to the beginning of the poor fellows story The moment that she heard of the flaming apparition she recollected having seen a head drawn in phosphorus which one of the children had exhibited for her amusement and it occurred to her that perhaps some imprudent or illnatured person might have terrified the ignorant negro by similar means When she mentioned this to Mr Vincent he recollected the threat that had been thrown out by Mrs Freke the day that Juba had taken possession of the disputed coachhouse and from the character of this lady Belinda judged that she would be likely to play such a trick and to call it as usual fun or frolic Miss Portman suggested that one of the children should show him the phosphorus and should draw some ludicrous figure with it in his presence This was done and it had the effect that she expected Juba familiarized by degrees with the object of his secret horror and convinced that no obeahwoman was exercising over him her sorceries recovered his health and spirits His gratitude to Miss Portman who was the immediate cause of his cure was as simple and touching as it was lively and sincere This was the circumstance which first turned Mr Vincents attention towards Belinda Upon examining the room in which the negro used to sleep at Harrowgate the strong smell of phosphorus was perceived and part of the paper was burnt on the very spot where he had always seen the figure so that he was now perfectly convinced that this trick had been purposely played to frighten him in revenge for his having kept possession of the coachhouse
Mrs Freke when she found herself detected gloried in the jest and told the story as a good joke wherever she went—triumphing in the notion that it was she who had driven both master and man from Harrowgate
The exploit was however by no means agreeable in its consequences to her friend Mrs Luttridge who was now at Harrowgate For reasons of her own she was very anxious to fix Mr Vincent in her society and she was much provoked by Mrs Frekes conduct The ladies came to high words upon the occasion and an irreparable breach would have ensued had not Mrs Freke in the midst of her rage recollected Mrs Luttridges electioneering interest and suddenly changing her tone she declared that she was really sorry to have driven Mr Vincent from Harrowgate that her only intention was to get rid of his black she would lay any wager that with Mrs Luttridges assistance they could soon get the gentleman back again and she proposed as a certain method of fixing Mr Vincent in Mrs Luttridges society to invite Belinda to Harrowgate
You may be sure said Mrs Freke that she must by this time be cursedly tired of her visit to those stupid good people at Oaklypark and never woman wanted an excuse to do any thing she liked so trust to her own ingenuity to make some decent apology to the Percivals for running away from them As to Vincent you may be sure Belinda Portman is his only inducement for staying with that precious familyparty and if we have her we have him Now we can be sure of her for she has just quarrelled with our dear Lady Delacour I had the whole story from my maid who had it from Champfort Lady Delacour and she are at daggersdrawing and it will be delicious to her to hear her ladyship handsomely abused We are the declared enemies of her enemy so we must be her friends Nothing unites folk so quickly and so solidly as hatred of some common foe
This argument could not fail to convince Mrs Luttridge and the next day Mrs Freke commenced her operations She drove in her unicorn to Oaklypark to pay Miss Portman a visit She had no acquaintance either with Mr Percival or Lady Anne and she had always treated Belinda when she met her in town rather cavalierly as an humble companion of Lady Delacour But it cost Mrs Freke nothing to change her tone she was one of those ladies who can remember or forget people be perfectly familiar or strangely rude just as it suits the convenience fashion or humour of the minute
CHAPTER XVII — RIGHTS OF WOMAN
Belinda was alone and reading when Mrs Freke dashed into the room
How do dear creature cried she stepping up to her and shaking hands with her boisterously—How do—Glad to see you faith—Been long here—Tremendously hot today
She flung herself upon the sofa beside Belinda threw her hat upon the table and then continued speaking
And how dye go on here poor child—Gad Im glad youre alone—expected to find you encompassed by a whole host of the righteous Give me credit for my courage in coming to deliver you out of their hands Luttridge and I had such compassion upon you when we heard you were close prisoner here I swore to set the distressed damsel free in spite of all the dragons in Christendom so let me carry you off in triumph in my unicorn and leave these good people to stare when they come home from their sober walk and find you gone Theres nothing I like so much as to make good people stare—I hope youre of my way o thinking—you dont look as if you were though but I never mind young ladies looks—always give the lie to their thoughts Now we talk olooks—never saw you look so well in my life—as handsome as an angel And so much the better for me Do you know Ive a bet of twenty guineas on your head—on your face I mean Theres a young bride at Harrowgate Lady H—— theyre all mad about her the men swear shes the handsomest woman in England and I swear I know one ten times as handsome Theyve dared me to make good my word and Ive pledged myself to produce my beauty at the next ball and to pit her against their belle for any money Most votes carry it Im willing to double my bet since Ive seen you again Come had not we best be off Now dont refuse me and make speeches—you know thats all nonsense—Ill take all the blame upon myself
Belinda who had not been suffered to utter a word whilst Mrs Freke ran on in this strange manner looked in unfeigned astonishment but when she found herself seized and dragged towards the door she drew back with a degree of gentle firmness that astonished Mrs Freke With a smiling countenance but a steady tone she said that she was sorry Mrs Frekes knighterrantry should not be exerted in a better cause for that she was neither a prisoner nor a distressed damsel
And will you make me lose my bet cried Mrs Freke Oh at all events you must come to the ball—Im down for it But Ill not press it now because youre frightened out of your poor little wits I see at the bare thoughts of doing any thing considered out of rule by these good people Well well it shall be managed for you—leave that to me Im used to managing for cowards Pray tell me—you and Lady Delacour are off I understand—Give ye joy—She and I were once great friends that is to say I had over her that power which strong minds have over weak ones but she was too weak for me—one of those people that have neither courage to be good nor to be bad
The courage to be bad said Belinda I believe indeed she does not possess
Mrs Freke stared Why I heard you had quarrelled with her
If I had said Belinda I hope that I should still do justice to her merits It is said that people are apt to suffer more by their friends than their enemies I hope that will never be the case with Lady Delacour as I confess that I have been one of her friends
Gad I like your spirit—you dont want courage I see to fight even for your enemies You are just the kind of girl I admire I see you have been prejudiced against me by Lady Delacour but whatever stories she may have trumped up the truth of the matter is this theres no living with her shes so jealous—so ridiculously jealous—of that lord of hers for whom all the time she has the impudence to pretend not to care more than I do for the sole of my boot said Mrs Freke striking it with her whip but she hasnt the courage to give him tit for tat now this is what I call weakness Pray how do she and Clarence Hervey go on together—Are they out o the hornbook of platonics yet
Mr Hervey was not in town when I left it said Belinda
Was not he—Ho ho—Hes off then—Ay so I prophesied shes not the thing for him he has some strength of mind—some soul—above vulgar prejudices so must a woman be to hold him He was caught at first by her grace and beauty and that sort of stuff but I knew it could not last—knew shed dilly dally with Clary till he would turn upon his heel and leave her there
I fancy that you are entirely mistaken both with respect to Mr Hervey and Lady Delacour Belinda very seriously began to say But Mrs Freke interrupted her and ran on No no no Im not mistaken Clarence has found her out Shes a very woman—that he could forgive her and so could I but shes a mere woman—and that he cant forgive—no more can I
There was a kind of drollery about Mrs Freke which with some people made the odd things she said pass for wit Humour she really possessed and when she chose it she could be diverting to those who like buffoonery in women She had set her heart upon winning Belinda over to her party She began by flattery of her beauty but as she saw that this had no effect she next tried what could be done by insinuating that she had a high opinion of her understanding by talking to her as an esprit fort
For my part said she I own I should like a strong devil better than a weak angel
You forget said Belinda that it is not Milton but Satan who says
Fallen spirit to be weak is to be miserable
You read I see—I did not know you were a reading girl So was I once but I never read now Books only spoil the originality of genius very well for those who cant think for themselves—but when one has made up ones opinion there is no use in reading
But to make them up replied Belinda may it not be useful
Of no use upon earth to minds of a certain class You who can think for yourself should never read
But I read that I may think for myself
Only ruin your understanding trust me Books are full of trash—nonsense conversation is worth all the books in the world
And is there never any nonsense in conversation
What have you here continued Mrs Freke who did not choose to attend to this question exclaiming as she reviewed each of the books on the table in their turns in the summary language of presumptuous ignorance Smiths Theory of Moral Sentiments—milk and water Moores Travels—hasty pudding La Bruyère—nettle porridge This is what you were at when I came in was it not said she taking up a book8 in which she saw Belindas mark Against Inconsistency in our Expectations Poor thing who bored you with this task
Mr Percival recommended it to me as one of the best essays in the English language
The devil they seem to have put you in a course of the bitters—a course of the woods might do your business better Do you ever hunt—Let me take you out with me some morning—youd be quite an angel on horseback or let me drive you out some day in my unicorn
Belinda declined this invitation and Mrs Freke strode away to the window to conceal her mortification threw up the sash and called out to her groom Walk those horses about blockhead
Mr Percival and Mr Vincent at this instant came into the room
Hail fellow well met cried Mrs Freke stretching out her hand to Mr Vincent
It has been remarked that an antipathy subsists between creatures who without being the same have yet a strong external resemblance Mr Percival saw this instinct rising in Mr Vincent and smiled
Hail fellow well met I say Shake hands and be friends man Though Im not in the habit of making apologies if it will be any satisfaction to you I beg your pardon for frightening your poor devil of a black
Then turning towards Mr Percival she measured him with her eye as a person whom she longed to attack She thought that if Belindas opinion of the understanding of these Percivals could be lowered she should rise in her esteem accordingly she determined to draw Mr Percival into an argument
Ive been talking treason I believe to Miss Portman cried she for Ive been opposing some of your opinions Mr Percival
If you opposed them all madam said Mr Percival I should not think it treason
Vastly polite—But I think all our politeness hypocrisy what dye say to that
You know that best madam
Then Ill go a step farther for Im determined you shall contradict me I think all virtue is hypocrisy
I need not contradict you madam said Mr Percival for the terms which you make use of contradict themselves
It is my system pursued Mrs Freke that shame is always the cause of the vices of women
It is sometimes the effect said Mr Percival and as cause and effect are reciprocal perhaps you may in some instances be right
Oh I hate qualifying arguers—plump assertion or plump denial for me you shant get off so I say shame is the cause of all womens vices
False shame I suppose you mean said Mr Percival
Mere play upon words All shame is false shame—we should be a great deal better without it What say you Miss Portman—Silent hey Silence that speaks
Miss Portmans blushes said Mr Vincent speak for her
Against her said Mrs Freke women blush because they understand
And you would have them understand without blushing said Mr Percival I grant you that nothing can be more different than innocence and ignorance Female delicacy—
This is just the way you men spoil women cried Mrs Freke by talking to them of the delicacy of their sex and such stuff This delicacy enslaves the pretty delicate dears
No it enslaves us said Mr Vincent
I hate slavery Vive la liberté cried Mrs Freke Im a champion for the Rights of Woman
I am an advocate for their happiness said Mr Percival and for their delicacy as I think it conduces to their happiness
Im an enemy to their delicacy as I am sure it conduces to their misery
You speak from experience said Mr Percival
No from observation Your most delicate women are always the greatest hypocrites and in my opinion no hypocrite can or ought to be happy
But you have not proved the hypocrisy said Belinda Delicacy is not I hope an indisputable proof of it If you mean false delicacy——
To cut the matter short at once cried Mrs Freke why when a woman likes a man does not she go and tell him so honestly
Belinda surprised by this question from a woman was too much abashed instantly to answer
Because shes a hypocrite That is and must be the answer
No said Mr Percival because if she be a woman of sense she knows that by such a step she would disgust the object of her affection
Cunning—cunning—cunning—the arms of the weakest
Prudence prudence—the arms of the strongest Taking the best means to secure our own happiness without injuring that of others is the best proof of sense and strength of mind whether in man or woman Fortunately for society the same conduct in ladies which best secures their happiness most increases ours
Mrs Freke beat the devils tattoo for some moments and then exclaimed You may say what you will but the present system of society is radically wrong—whatever is is wrong
How would you improve the state of society asked Mr Percival calmly
Im not tinkergeneral to the world said she
Im glad of it said Mr Percival for I have heard that tinkers often spoil more than they mend
But if you want to know said Mrs Freke what I would do to improve the world Ill tell you Id have both sexes call things by their right names
This would doubtless be a great improvement said Mr Percival but you would not overturn society to attain it would you Should we find things much improved by tearing away what has been called the decent drapery of life
Drapery if you ask me my opinion cried Mrs Freke drapery whether wet or dry is the most confoundedly indecent thing in the world
That depends on public opinion I allow said Mr Percival The Lacedaemonian ladies who were veiled only by public opinion were better covered from profane eyes than some English ladies are in wet drapery
I know nothing of the Lacedaemonian ladies I took my leave of them when I was a schoolboy—girl I should say But pray what oclock is it by you Ive sat till Im cramped all over cried Mrs Freke getting up and stretching herself so violently that some part of her habiliments gave way Honi soit qui mal y pense said she bursting into a horse laugh
Without sharing in any degree that confusion which Belinda felt for her she strode out of the room saying Miss Portman you understand these things better than I do come and set me to rights
When she was in Belindas room she threw herself into an armchair and laughed immoderately
How I have trimmed Percival this morning said she
I am glad you think so said Belinda for I really was afraid he had been too severe upon you
I only wish continued Mrs Freke I only wish his wife had been by Why the devil did not she make her appearance I suppose the prude was afraid of my demolishing and unrigging her
There seems to have been more danger of that for you than for any body else said Belinda as she assisted to set Mrs Frekes rigging as she called it to rights
I do of all things delight in hauling good peoples opinions out of their musty drawers and seeing how they look when theyre all pulled to pieces before their faces Pray are those Lady Annes drawers or yours said Mrs Freke pointing to a chest of drawers
Mine
Im sorry for it for if they were hers to punish her for shirking me by the Lord Id have every rag she has in the world out in the middle of the floor in ten minutes You dont know me—Im a terrible person when provoked—stop at nothing
As Mrs Freke saw no other chance left of gaining her point with Belinda she tried what intimidating her would do
I stop at nothing repeated she fixing her eyes upon Miss Portman to fascinate her by terror Friend or foe peace or war Take your choice Come to the ball at Harrowgate I win my bet and Im your sworn friend Stay away I lose my bet and am your sworn enemy
It is not in my power madam said Belinda calmly to comply with your request
Then youll take the consequences cried Mrs Freke She rushed past her hurried down stairs and called out Bid my blockhead bring my unicorn
She her unicorn and her blockhead were out of sight in a few minutes
Good may be drawn from evil Mrs Frekes conversation though at the time it confounded Belinda roused her upon reflection to examine by her reason the habits and principles which guided her conduct She had a general feeling that they were right and necessary but now with the assistance of Lady Anne and Mr Percival she established in her own understanding the exact boundaries between right and wrong upon many subjects She felt a species of satisfaction and security from seeing the demonstration of those axioms of morality in which she had previously acquiesced Reasoning gradually became as agreeable to her as wit nor was her taste for wit diminished it was only refined by this process She now compared and judged of the value of the different species of this brilliant talent
Mrs Frekes wit thought she is like a noisy squib the momentary terror of passengers Lady Delacours like an elegant firework which we crowd to see and cannot forbear to applaud but Lady Anne Percivals wit is like the refulgent moon we
Love the mild rays and bless the useful light
Miss Portman said Mr Percival are not you afraid of making an enemy of Mrs Freke by declining her invitation to Harrowgate
I think her friendship more to be dreaded than her enmity replied Belinda
Then you are not to be terrified by an obeahwoman said Mr Vincent
Not in the least unless she were to come in the shape of a false friend said Belinda
Till lately said Mr Vincent I was deceived in the character of Mrs Freke I thought her a dashing freespoken freehearted sort of eccentric person who would make a staunch friend and a jolly companion As a mistress or a wife no man of any taste could think of her Compare that woman now with one of our Creole ladies
But why with a creole said Mr Percival
For the sake of contrast in the first place our creole women are all softness grace delicacy——
And indolence said Mr Percival
Their indolence is but a slight and in my judgment an amiable defect it keeps them out of mischief and it attaches them to domestic life The activity of a Mrs Freke would never excite their emulation and so much the better
So much the better no doubt said Mr Percival But is there no other species of activity that might excite their ambition with propriety Without diminishing their grace softness or delicacy might not they cultivate their minds Do you think ignorance as well as indolence an amiable defect essential to the female character
Not essential You do not I hope imagine that I am so much prejudiced in favour of my countrywomen that I can neither see nor feel the superiority in some instances of European cultivation I speak only in general
And in general said Lady Anne Percival does Mr Vincent wish to confine our sex to the bliss of ignorance
If it be bliss said Mr Vincent what reason would they have for complaint
If said Belinda but that is a question which you have not yet decided
And how can we decide it said Mr Vincent The taste and feelings of individuals must be the arbiters of their happiness
You leave reason quite out of the question then said Mr Percival and refer the whole to taste and feeling So that if the most ignorant person in the world assert that he is happier than you are you are bound to believe him
Why should not I said Mr Vincent
Because said Mr Percival though he can judge of his own pleasures he cannot judge of yours his are common to both but yours are unknown to him Would you at this instant change places with that ploughman yonder who is whistling as he goes for want of thought or would you choose to go a step higher in the bliss of ignorance and turn savage
Mr Vincent laughed and protested that he should be very unwilling to give up his title to civilized society and that instead of wishing to have less knowledge he regretted that he had not more I am sensible said he that I have many prejudices—Miss Portman has made me ashamed of some of them
There was a degree of candour in Mr Vincents manner and conversation which interested every body in his favour Belinda amongst the rest She was perfectly at ease in Mr Vincents company because she considered him as a person who wished for her friendship without having any design to engage her affections From several hints that dropped from him from Mr Percival and from Lady Anne she was persuaded that he was attached to some creole lady and all that he said in favour of the elegant softness and delicacy of his countrywomen confirmed this opinion
Miss Portman was not one of those young ladies who fancy that every gentleman who converses freely with them will inevitably fall a victim to the power of their charms and will see in every man a lover or nothing
CHAPTER XVIII — A DECLARATION
Ive found it—Ive found it mamma cried little Charles Percival running eagerly into the room with a plant in his hand Will you send this in your letter to Helena Delacour and tell her that is the thing that gold fishes are so fond of And tell her that it is called lemna and that it may be found in any ditch or pool
But how can she find ditches and pools in Grosvenorsquare my dear
Oh I forgot that Then will you tell her mamma that I will send her a great quantity
How my dear
I dont know mamma yet—but I will find out some way
Would it not be as well my dear said his mother smiling to consider how you can perform your promises before you make them
A gentleman said Mr Vincent never makes a promise that he cannot perform
I know that very well said the boy proudly Miss Portman who is very goodnatured will I am sure be so good when she goes back to Lady Delacour as to carry food for the gold fishes to Helena—you see that I have found out a way to keep my promise
No Im afraid not said Belinda for I am not going back to Lady Delacours
Then I am very glad of it said the boy dropping the weed and clapping his hands joyfully for then I hope you will always stay here dont you mamma—dont you Mr Vincent Oh you do I am sure for I heard you say so to papa the other day But what makes you grow so red
His mother took him by the hand as he was going to repeat the question and leading him out of the room desired him to show her the place where he found the food for the gold fishes
Belinda to Mr Vincents great relief seemed not to take any notice of the childs question nor to have any sympathy in his curiosity she was intently copying Westalls sketch of Lady Anne Percival and her family and she had been roused by the first mention of Helena Delacours name to many painful and some pleasing recollections What a charming woman and what a charming family said Mr Vincent as he looked at the drawing and how much more interesting is this picture of domestic happiness than all the pictures of shepherds and shepherdesses and gods and goddesses that ever were drawn
Yes said Belinda and how much more interesting this picture is to us from our knowing that it is not a fancypiece that the happiness is real not imaginary that this is the natural expression of affection in the countenance of the mother and that these children who crowd round her are what they seem to be—the pride and pleasure of her life
There cannot exclaimed Mr Vincent with enthusiasm be a more delightful picture Oh Miss Portman is it possible that you should not feel what you can paint so well
Is it possible sir said Belinda that you should suspect me of such wretched hypocrisy as to affect to admire what I am incapable of feeling
You misunderstand—you totally misunderstand me Hypocrisy No there is not a woman upon earth whom I believe to be so far above all hypocrisy all affectation But I imagined—I feared—
As he spoke these last words he was in some confusion and hastily turned over the prints in a portfolio which lay upon the table Belindas eye was caught by an engraving of Lady Delacour in the character of the comic muse Mr Vincent did not know the intimacy that had subsisted between her ladyship and Miss Portman—she sighed from the recollection of Clarence Hervey and of all that had passed at the masquerade
What a contrast said Mr Vincent placing the print of Lady Delacour beside the picture of Lady Anne Percival What a contrast Compare their pictures—compare their characters—compare—
Excuse me interrupted Belinda Lady Delacour was once my friend and I do not like to make a comparison so much to her disadvantage I have never seen any woman who would not suffer by a comparison with Lady Anne Percival
I have been more fortunate I have seen one—one equally worthy of esteem—admiration—love
Mr Vincents voice faltered in pronouncing the word love yet Belinda prepossessed by the idea that he was attached to some creole lady simply answered without looking up from her drawing You are indeed very fortunate—peculiarly fortunate Are the WestIndian ladies——
WestIndian ladies interrupted Mr Vincent Surely Miss Portman cannot imagine that I am at this instant thinking of any WestIndian lady Belinda looked up with an air of surprise Charming Miss Portman continued he I have learnt to admire European beauty European excellence I have acquired new ideas of the female character—ideas—feelings that must henceforward render me exquisitely happy or exquisitely miserable
Miss Portman had been too often called charming to be much startled or delighted by the sound the word would have passed by unnoticed but there was something so impassioned in Mr Vincents manner that she could no longer mistake it for common gallantry and she was in evident confusion Now for the first time the idea of Mr Vincent as a lover came into her mind the next instant she accused herself of vanity and dreaded that he should read her thoughts Exquisitely miserable said she in a tone of raillery I should not suppose from what I have seen of Mr Vincent that any thing could make him exquisitely miserable
Then you do not know my character—you do not know my heart it is in your power to make me exquisitely miserable Mine is not the cold hackneyed phrase of gallantry but the fervid language of passion cried he seizing her hand
At this instant one of the children came in with some flowers to Belinda and glad of the interruption she hastily put up her drawings and left the room observing that she should scarcely have time to dress before dinner However as soon as she found herself alone she forgot how late it was and though she sat down before the glass to dress she made no progress in the business but continued for some time motionless endeavouring to recollect and to understand all that had passed The result of her reflections was the conviction that her partiality for Clarence Hervey was greater than she ever had till this moment suspected I have told my aunt Stanhope thought she that the idea of Mr Hervey had no influence in my refusal of Sir Philip Baddely I have said that my affections are entirely at my own command then why do I feel this alarm at the discovery of Mr Vincents views Why do I compare him with one whom I thought I had forgotten—And yet how are we to judge of character How can we form any estimate of what is amiable of what will make us happy or miserable but by comparison Am I to blame for perceiving superiority Am I to blame if one person be more agreeable or seem to be more agreeable than another Am I to blame if I cannot love Mr Vincent
Before Belinda had answered these questions to her satisfaction the dinnerbell rang There happened to dine this day at Mr Percivals a gentleman who had just arrived from Lisbon and the conversation turned upon the sailors practice of stilling the waves over the bar of Lisbon by throwing oil upon the water Charles Percivals curiosity was excited by this conversation and he wished to see the experiment In the evening his father indulged his wishes The children were delighted at the sight and little Charles insisted upon Belindas following him to a particular spot where he was well convinced that she could see better than any where else in the world Take care cried Lady Anne or you will lead your friend into the river Charles The boy paused and soon afterwards asked his father several questions about swimming and drowning and bringing people to life after they had been drowned Dont you remember papa said he that Mr Hervey who was almost drowned in the Serpentine river in London—Belinda coloured at hearing unexpectedly the name of the person of whom she was at that instant thinking and the child continued—I liked that Mr Hervey very much—I liked him from the first day I saw him What a number of entertaining things he told us at dinner We used to call him the goodnatured gentleman I like him very much—I wish he was here this minute Did you ever see him Miss Portman Oh yes you must have seen him for it was he who carried Helenas gold fishes to her mother and he used often to be at Lady Delacours—was not he
Yes my dear often
And did not you like him very much—This simple question threw Belinda into inexpressible confusion but fortunately the crimson on her face was seen only by Lady Anne Percival To Belindas great satisfaction Mr Vincent forbore this evening any attempt to renew the conversation of the morning he endeavoured to mix with his usual animation and gaiety in the family society and her embarrassment was much lessened when she heard the next day at breakfast that he was gone to Harrowgate Lady Anne Percival took notice that she was this morning unusually sprightly
After breakfast as they were passing through the hall to take a walk in the park one of the little boys stopped to look at a musical instrument which hung up against the wall
What is this mamma—It is not a guitar is it
No my dear it is called a banjore it is an African instrument of which the negroes are particularly fond Mr Vincent mentioned it the other day to Miss Portman and I believe she expressed some curiosity to see one Juba went to work immediately to make a banjore I find Poor fellow I dare say that he was very sorry to go to Harrowgate and to leave his African guitar half finished especially as it was intended for an offering to Miss Portman He is the most grateful affectionate creature I ever saw
But why mamma said Charles Percival is Mr Vincent gone away I am sorry he is gone I hope he will soon come back In the mean time I must run and water my carnations
His sorrow for his friend Mr Vincents departure does not seem to affect his spirits much said Lady Anne People who expect sentiment from children of six years old will be disappointed and will probably teach them affectation Surely it is much better to let their natural affections have time to expand If we tear the rosebud open we spoil the flower Belinda smiled at this parable of the rosebud which she said might be applied to men and women as well as to children
And yet upon reflection said Lady Anne the heart has nothing in common with a rosebud Nonsensical allusions pass off very prettily in conversation I mean when we converse with partial friends but we should reason ill and conduct ourselves worse if we were to trust implicitly to poetical analogies Our affections continued Lady Anne arise from circumstances totally independent of our will
That is the very thing I meant to say interrupted Belinda eagerly
They are excited by the agreeable or useful qualities that we discover in things or in persons
Undoubtedly said Belinda
Or by those which our fancies discover said Lady Anne
Belinda was silent but after a pause she said That it was certainly very dangerous especially for women to trust to fancy in bestowing their affections And yet said Lady Anne it is a danger to which they are much exposed in society Men have it in their power to assume the appearance of every thing that is amiable and estimable and women have scarcely any opportunities of detecting the counterfeit
Without Ithuriels spear how can they distinguish the good from the evil said Belinda This is a commonplace complaint I know the ready excuse that we silly young women plead when we make mistakes for which our friends reproach us and for which we too often reproach ourselves
The complaint is commonplace precisely because it is general and just replied Lady Anne In the slight and frivolous intercourse which fashionable belles usually have with those fashionable beaux who call themselves their lovers it is surprising that they can discover any thing of each others real character Indeed they seldom do and this probably is the cause why there are so many unsuitable and unhappy marriages A woman who has an opportunity of seeing her lover in private society in domestic life has infinite advantages for if she has any sense and he has any sincerity the real character of both may perhaps be developed
True said Belinda who now suspected that Lady Anne alluded to Mr Vincent and in such a situation a woman would readily be able to decide whether the man who addressed her would suit her taste or not so she would be inexcusable if either from vanity or coquetry she disguised her real sentiments
And will Miss Portman who cannot by any one to whom she is known be suspected of vanity or coquetry permit me to speak to her with the freedom of a friend
Belinda touched by the kindness of Lady Annes manner pressed her hand and exclaimed Yes dear Lady Anne speak to me with freedom—you cannot do me a greater favour No thought of my mind no secret feeling of my heart shall be concealed from you
Do not imagine that I wish to encroach upon the generous openness of your temper said Lady Anne tell me when I go too far and I will be silent One who like Miss Portman has lived in the world has seen a variety of characters and probably has had a variety of admirers must have formed some determinate idea of the sort of companion that would make her happy if she were to marry—unless said Lady Anne she has formed a resolution against marriage
I have formed no such resolution said Belinda Indeed since I have seen the happiness which you and Mr Percival enjoy in your own family I have been much more disposed to think that a union—that a union such as yours would increase my happiness At the same time my aversion to the idea of marrying from interest or convenience or from any motives but esteem and love is increased almost to horror O Lady Anne there is nothing that I would not do to please the friends to whom I am under obligations except sacrificing my peace of mind or my integrity the happiness of my life by—
Lady Anne in a gentle tone assured her that she was the last person in the world who would press her to any union which would make her unhappy You perceive that Mr Vincent has spoken to me of what passed between you yesterday You perceive that I am his friend but do not forget that I am also yours If you fear undue influence from any of your relations in favour of Mr Vincents large fortune c let his proposal remain a secret between ourselves till you can decide from farther acquaintance with him whether it will be in your power to return his affection
I fear my dear Lady Anne cried Belinda that it is not in my power to return his affection
And may I ask your objections
Is it not a sufficient objection that I am persuaded I cannot love him
No for you may be mistaken in that persuasion Remember what we said a little while ago about fancy and spontaneous affections Does Mr Vincent appear to you defective in any of the qualities which you think essential to happiness Mr Percival has known him from the time he was a man and can answer for his integrity and his good temper Are not these the first points you would consider They ought to be I am sure and I believe they are Of his understanding I shall say nothing because you have had full opportunities of judging of it from his conversation
Mr Vincent appears to have a good understanding said Belinda
Then to what do you object—Is there any thing disgusting to you in his person or manners
He is very handsome he is well bred and his manners are unaffected said Belinda but—do not accuse me of caprice—altogether he does not suit my taste and I cannot think it sufficient not to feel disgust for a husband—though I believe this is the fashionable doctrine
It is not mine I assure you said Lady Anne I am not one of those who think it safest to begin with a little aversion but since you acknowledge that Mr Vincent possesses the essential good qualities that entitle him to your esteem I am satisfied We gradually acquire knowledge of the good qualities of those who endeavour to please us and if they are really amiable their persons become agreeable to us by degrees when we become accustomed to them
Accustomed said Belinda smiling one does grow accustomed even to disagreeable things certainly but at this rate my dear Lady Anne I do not doubt but one might grow accustomed to Caliban
My belief in the reconciling power of custom does not go quite so far said Lady Anne It does not extend to Caliban or even to the hero of La Belle et La Bête but I do believe that in a mind so well regulated as yours esteem may certainly in time be improved into love I will tell Mr Vincent so my dear
No my dear Lady Anne no you must not—indeed you must not You have too good an opinion of me—my mind is not so well regulated—I am much weaker much sillier than you imagine—than you can conceive said Belinda
Lady Anne soothed her with the most affectionate expressions and concluded with saying Mr Vincent has promised not to return from Harrowgate to torment you with his addresses if you be absolutely determined against him He is of too generous and perhaps too proud a temper to persecute you with vain solicitations and however Mr Percival and I may wish that he could obtain such a wife we shall have the common or uncommon sense and goodnature to allow our friends to be happy their own way
You are very good—too good But am I then to be the cause of banishing Mr Vincent from all his friends—from Oaklypark
Will he not do what is most prudent to avoid the charming Miss Portman said Lady Anne smiling if he must not love her This was at least the advice I gave him when he consulted us yesterday evening But I will not sign his writ of banishment lightly Nothing but the assurance that the heart is engaged can be a sufficient cause for despair nothing else could in my eyes justify you my dear Belinda from the charge of caprice
I can give you no such assurance I hope—I believe said Belinda in great confusion and yet I would not for the world deceive you you have a right to my sincerity She paused and Lady Anne said with a smile Perhaps I can spare you the trouble of telling me in words what a blush told me or at least made me suspect yesterday evening when we were standing by the river side when little Charles asked you—
Yes I remember—I saw you look at me
Undesignedly believe me
Undesignedly I am sure but I was afraid you would think—
The truth
No but more than the truth The truth you shall hear and the rest I will leave to your judgment and to your kindness
Belinda gave a full account of her acquaintance with Clarence Hervey of the variations in his manner towards her of his excellent conduct with respect to Lady Delacour of this bytheby she spoke at large But she was more concise when she touched upon the state of her own heart and her voice almost failed when she came to the history of the lock of beautiful hair the Windsor incognita and the picture of Virginia She concluded by expressing her conviction of the propriety of forgetting a man who was in all probability attached to another and she declared it to be her resolution to banish him from her thoughts Lady Anne said that nothing could be more prudent or praiseworthy than forming such a resolution—except keeping it Lady Anne had a high opinion of Mr Hervey but she had no doubt from Belindas account and from her own observations on Mr Hervey and from slight circumstances which had accidentally come to Mr Percivals knowledge that he was as Belinda suspected attached to another person She wished therefore to confirm Miss Portman in this belief and to turn her thoughts towards one who beside being deserving of her esteem and love felt for her the most sincere affection She did not however press the subject farther at this time but contented herself with requesting that Belinda would take three days the usual time given for deliberation in fairy tales before she should decide against Mr Vincent
The next day they went to look at a porters lodge which Mr Percival had just built it was inhabited by an old man and woman who had for many years been industrious tenants but who in their old age had been reduced to poverty not by imprudence but by misfortune Lady Anne was pleased to see them comfortably settled in their new habitation and whilst she and Belinda were talking to the old couple their granddaughter a pretty looking girl of about eighteen came in with a basket of eggs in her hand Well Lucy said Lady Anne have you overcome your dislike to James Jackson The girl reddened smiled and looked at her grandmother who answered for her in an arch tone Oh yes my lady We are not afraid of Jackson now we are grown very great friends This pretty cane chair for my good man was his handiwork and these baskets he made for me Indeed hes a most industrious ingenious goodnatured youth and our Lucy takes no offence at his courting her now my lady I can assure you That necklace which is never off her neck now he turned for her my lady it is a present of his So I tell him he need not be discouraged though so be she did not take to him at the first for shes a good girl and a sensible girl—I say it though shes my own and the eyes are used to a face after a time and then its nothing They say fancys all in all in love now in my judgment fancys little or nothing with girls that have sense But I beg pardon for prating at this rate more especially when I am so old as to have forgot all the little I ever knew about such things
But you have the best right in the world to speak about such things and your granddaughter has the best reason in the world to listen to you said Lady Anne because in spite of all the crosses of fortune you have been an excellent and happy wife at least ever since I can remember
And ever since I can remember thats more no offence to your ladyship said the old man striking his crutch against the ground Ever since I can remember she has made me the happiest man in the whole world in the whole parish as every body knows and I best of all cried he with a degree of enthusiasm that lighted up his aged countenance and animated his feeble voice
And yet said the honest dame if I had followed my fancy and taken up with my first love it would not ha been with he Lucy I had a sort of a fancy since my ladys so good as to let me speak I had a sort of a fancy for an idle young man but he very luckily for me took it into his head to fall in love with another young woman and then I had leisure enough left me to think of your grandfather who was not so much to my taste like at first But when I found out his goodness and cleverness and joined to all his great tenderness for me I thought better of it Lucy as who knows but you may do though there shall not be a word said on my part to press you for poor Jackson and my thinking better is the cause why I have been so happy ever since and am so still in my old age Ah Lucy dear what a many years that same old age lasts after all But young folks for the most part never think whats to come after thirty or forty at farthest But I dont say this for you Lucy for you are a good girl and a sensible girl though my own granddaughter as I said before and therefore wont be run away with by fancy which is soon past and gone but make a prudent choice that you wont never have cause to repent of But Ill not say a word more Ill leave it all to yourself and James Jackson
You do right said Lady Anne good morning to you Farewell Lucy Thats a pretty necklace and is very becoming to you—fare ye well
She hurried out of the cottage with Belinda apprehensive that the talkative old dame might weaken the effect of her good sense and experience by a farther profusion of words
One would think said Belinda with an ingenuous smile that this lesson upon the dangers of fancy was intended for me at any rate I may turn it to my own advantage
Happy those who can turn all the experience of others to their own advantage said Lady Anne this would be a more valuable privilege than the power of turning every thing that is touched to gold
They walked on in silence for a few minutes and then Miss Portman pursuing the train of her own thoughts and unconscious that she had not explained them to Lady Anne abruptly exclaimed But if I should be entangled so as not to be able to retract—and if it should not be in my power to love him at last he will think me a coquette a jilt perhaps he will have reason to complain of me if I waste his time and trifle with his affections Then is it not better that I should avoid by a decided refusal all possibility of injury to Mr Vincent and of blame to myself
There is no danger of Mr Vincents misunderstanding or misrepresenting you The risk that he runs is by his voluntary choice and I am sure that if after farther acquaintance with him you find it impossible to return his affection he will not consider himself as illused by your refusal
But after a certain time—after the world suspects that two people are engaged to each other it is scarcely possible for the woman to recede when they come within a certain distance they are pressed to unite by the irresistible force of external circumstances A woman is too often reduced to this dilemma either she must marry a man she does not love or she must be blamed by the world—either she must sacrifice a portion of her reputation or the whole of her happiness
The world is indeed often too curious and too rash in these affairs said Lady Anne A young woman is not in this respect allowed sufficient time for freedom of deliberation She sees as Mr Percival once said the drawn sword of tyrant custom suspended over her head by a single hair
And yet notwithstanding you are so well aware of the danger your ladyship would expose me to it said Belinda
Yes for I think the chance of happiness in this instance overbalances the risk said Lady Anne As we cannot alter the common law of custom and as we cannot render the world less gossiping or less censorious we must not expect always to avoid censure all we can do is never to deserve it—and it would be absurd to enslave ourselves to the opinion of the idle and ignorant To a certain point respect for the opinion of the world is prudence beyond that point it is weakness You should also consider that the world at Oaklypark and in London are two different worlds In London if you and Mr Vincent were seen often in each others company it would be immediately buzzed about that Miss Portman and Mr Vincent were going to be married and if the match did not take place a thousand foolish stories might be told to account for its being broken off But here you are not surrounded by busy eyes and busy tongues The butchers bakers ploughmen and spinsters who compose our world have all affairs of their own to mind Besides their comments can have no very extensive circulation they are used to see Mr Vincent continually here and his staying with us the remainder of the autumn will not appear to them any thing wonderful or portentous
Their conversation was interrupted Mr Vincent returned to Oaklypark—but upon the express condition that he should not make his attachment public by any particular attentions and that he should draw no conclusions in his favour from Belindas consenting to converse with him freely upon every common subject To this treaty of amity Lady Anne Percival was guarantee
CHAPTER XIX — A WEDDING
Belinda and Mr Vincent could never agree in their definition of theword flattery so that there were continual complaints on the one hand of a breach of treaty and on the other solemn protestations of the most scrupulous adherence to his compact However this might be it is certain that the gentleman gained so much either by truth or fiction that in the course of some weeks he got the lady as far as gratitude and esteem
One evening Belinda was playing with little Charles Percival at spillikins Mr Vincent who found pleasure in every thing that amused Belinda and Mr Percival who took an interest in every thing which entertained his children were looking on at this simple game
Mr Percival said Belinda condescending to look at a game of jackstraws
Yes said Lady Anne for he is of Drydens opinion that if a straw can be made the instrument of happiness he is a wise man who does not despise it
Ah Miss Portman take care cried Charles who was anxious that she should win though he was playing against her Take care dont touch that knave
I would lay a hundred guineas upon the steadiness of Miss Portmans hand cried Mr Vincent
Ill lay you sixpence though cried Charles eagerly that shell stir the king if she touches that knave—Ill lay you a shilling
Done done cried Mr Vincent
Done done cried the boy stretching out his hand but his father caught it
Softly softly Charles—No betting if you please my dear Done and done sometimes ends in—undone
It was my fault—it was I who was in the wrong cried Vincent immediately
I am sure you are in the right now said Mr Percival and what is better than my saying so Miss Portman thinks so as her smile tells me
You moved Miss Portman cried Charles—Oh indeed the kings head stirred the very instant papa spoke I knew it was impossible that you could get that knave clear off without shaking the king Now papa only look how they were balanced
I grant you said Mr Vincent I should have made an imprudent bet So it is well I made none for now I see the chances were ten to one twenty to one a hundred to one against me
It does not appear to me to be a matter of chance said Mr Percival This is a game of address not chance and that is the reason I like it
Oh papa Oh Miss Portman look how nicely these are balanced There my breath has set them in motion Look they shake shake shake like the great rockingstones at Brimham Crags
That is comparing small things to great indeed said Mr Percival
Bytheby cried Mr Vincent Miss Portman has never seen those wonderful rockingstones—suppose we were to ride to see them tomorrow
The proposal was warmly seconded by the children and agreed to by every one It was settled that after they had seen Brimham Crags they should spend the remainder of the day at Lord C——s beautiful place in the neighbourhood
The next morning was neither too hot nor too cold and they set out on their little party of pleasure the children went with their mother to their great delight in the sociable and Mr Vincent to his great delight rode with Belinda When they came within sight of the Crags Mr Percival who was riding with them exclaimed—What is that yonder on the top of one of the great rockingstones
It looks like a statue said Vincent It has been put up since we were here last
I fancy it has got up of itself said Belinda for it seems to be getting down of itself I think I saw it stoop Oh I see now it is a man who has got up there and he seems to have a gun in his hand has not he He is going through his manual exercise for his diversion—for the diversion of the spectators below I perceive—there is a party of people looking at him
Him said Mr Percival
I protest it is a woman said Vincent
No surely said Belinda it cannot be a woman
Not unless it be Mrs Freke replied Mr Percival
In fact it was Mrs Freke who had been out shooting with a party of gentlemen and who had scrambled upon this rockingstone on the summit of which she went through the manual exercise at the word of command from her officer As they rode nearer to the scene of action Belinda heard the shrill screams of a female voice and they descried amongst the gentlemen a slight figure in a riding habit
Miss Moreton I suppose said Mr Vincent
Poor girl what are they doing with her cried Belinda
They seem to be forcing her up to the top of that place where she has no mind to go Look how Mrs Freke drags her up by the arm
As they drew nearer they heard Mrs Freke laughing loud as she rocked this frightened girl upon the top of the stone
We had better keep out of the way I think said Belinda for perhaps as she has vowed vengeance against me she might take a fancy to setting me upon that pinnacle of glory
She dare not cried Vincent his eyes flashing with anger you may trust to us to defend you
Certainly—But I will not run into danger on purpose to give you the pleasure of defending me said Belinda and as she spoke she turned her horse another way
You wont turn back Miss Portman cried Vincent eagerly laying his hand on her bridle—Good Heavens maam we cant run away—We came here to look at these rockingstones—We have not half seen them Lady Anne and the children will be here immediately You would not deprive them of the pleasure of seeing these things
I doubt whether they would have much pleasure in seeing some of these things and as to the rest if I disappoint the children now Mr Percival will perhaps have the goodness to bring them some other day
Certainly said Mr Percival Miss Portman shows her usual prudence
The children are so good tempered that I am sure they will forgive me continued Belinda and Mr Vincent will be ashamed not to follow their example though he seems to be rather angry with me at present for obliging him to turn back—out of the path of danger
You must not be surprised at that said Mr Percival laughing for Mr Vincent is a lover and a hero You know it is a ruled case in all romances that when a lover and his mistress go out riding together some adventure must befal them The horse must run away with the lady and the gentleman must catch her in his arms just as her neck is about to be broken If the horse has been too well trained for the heroines purpose some footpad bandit fierce or mountaineer some jealous rival must make his appearance quite unexpectedly at the turn of a road and the lady must be carried off—robes flying—hair streaming—like Bürgers Leonora Then her lover must come to her rescue just in the proper moment But if the damsel cannot conveniently be run away with she must as the last resource tumble into a river to make herself interesting and the hero must be at least half drowned in dragging her out that she may be under eternal obligations to him and at last be forced to marry him out of pure gratitude
Gratitude interrupted Mr Vincent he is no hero to my mind who would be content with gratitude instead of love
You need not alarm yourself Miss Portman does not seem inclined to put you to the trial you see said Mr Percival smiling Now it is really to be regretted that she deprived you of an opportunity of fighting some of the gentlemen in Mrs Frekes train or of delivering her from the perilous height of one of those rockingstones It would have been a new incident in a novel
How that poor girl screamed said Belinda Was her terror real or affected
Partly real partly affected I fancy said Mr Percival
I pity her said Mr Vincent for Mrs Freke leads her a weary life
She is certainly to be pitied but also to be blamed said Mr Percival You do not know her history Miss Moreton ran away from her friends to live with this Mrs Freke who has led her into all kinds of mischief and absurdity The girl is weak and vain and believes that every thing becomes her which Mrs Freke assures her is becoming At one time she was persuaded to go to a public ball with her arms as bare as Junos and her feet as naked as Mad Talliens At another time Miss Moreton who unfortunately has never heard the Greek proverb that half is better than the whole was persuaded by Mrs Freke to lay aside her half boots and to equip herself in mens whole boots and thus she rode about the country to the amazement of all the world These are trifles but women who love to set the world at defiance in trifles seldom respect its opinion in matters of consequence Miss Moretons whole boots in the morning and her bare feet in the evening were talked of by every body till she gave them more to talk of about her attachment to a young officer Mrs Freke whose philosophy is professedly latitudinarian in morals laughed at the girls prejudice in favour of the ceremony of marriage So did the officer for Miss Moreton had no fortune It is suspected that the young lady did not feel the difficulty which philosophers are sometimes said to find in suiting their practice to their theory The unenlightened world reprobated the theory much and the practice more I am inclined in spite of scandal to think the poor girl was only imprudent at all events she repents her folly too late She has now no friend upon earth but Mrs Freke who is in fact her worst enemy and who tyrannizes over her without mercy Imagine what it is to be the butt of a buffoon
What a lesson to young ladies in the choice of female friends said Belinda But had Miss Moreton no relations who could interfere to get her out of Mrs Frekes hands
Her father and mother were old and what is more contemptible oldfashioned she would not listen to their advice she ran away from them Some of her relations were I believe willing that she should stay with Mrs Freke because she was a dashing fashionable woman and they thought it might be what is called an advantage to her She had one relation indeed who was quite of a different opinion who saw the danger of her situation and remonstrated in the strongest manner—but to no purpose This was a cousin of Miss Moretons a respectable clergyman Mrs Freke was so much incensed by his insolent interference as she was pleased to call it that she made an effigy of Mr Moreton dressed in his canonicals and hung the figure up as a scarecrow in a garden close by the high road He was so much beloved and respected for his benevolence and unaffected piety that Mrs Freke totally failed in her design of making him ridiculous her scarecrow was torn to pieces by his parishioners and though in the true spirit of charity he did all he could to moderate their indignation against his enemy the lady became such an object of detestation that she was followed with hisses and groans whenever she appeared and she dared not venture within ten miles of the village
Mrs Freke now changed the mode of her persecution she was acquainted with a nobleman from whom our clergyman expected a living and she worked upon his lordship so successfully that he insisted upon having an apology made to the lady Mr Moreton had as much dignity of mind as gentleness of character his forbearance was that of principle and so was his firmness he refused to make the concessions that were required His noble patron bullied Though he had a large family to provide for the clergyman would not degrade himself by any improper submission The incumbent died and the living was given to a more compliant friend So ends the history of one of Mrs Frekes numerous frolics
This was the story said Mr Vincent which effectually changed my opinion of her Till I heard it I always looked upon her as one of those thoughtless goodnatured people who as the common saying is do nobody any harm but themselves
It is difficult in society said Mr Percival especially for women to do harm to themselves without doing harm to others They may begin in frolic but they must end in malice They defy the world—the world in return excommunicates them—the female outlaws become desperate and make it the business and pride of their lives to disturb the peace of their sober neighbours Women who have lowered themselves in the public opinion cannot rest without attempting to bring others to their own level
Mrs Freke notwithstanding the blustering merriment that she affects is obviously unhappy said Belinda and since we cannot do her any good either by our blame or our pity we had better think of something else
Scandal said Mr Vincent does not seem to give you much pleasure Miss Portman You will be glad to hear that Mrs Frekes malice against poor Mr Moreton has not ruined him Do you know Mr Percival that he has just been presented to a good living by a generous young man who heard of his excellent conduct
I am extremely glad of it said Mr Percival Who is this generous young man I should like to be acquainted with him
So should I said Mr Vincent he is a Mr Hervey
Clarence Hervey perhaps
Yes Clarence was his name
No man more likely to do a generous action than Clarence Hervey said Mr Percival
Nobody more likely to do a generous action than Mr Hervey repeated Belinda in rather a low tone She could now praise Clarence Hervey without blushing and she could think even of his generosity without partiality though not without pleasure By strength of mind and timely exertion she had prevented her prepossession from growing into a passion that might have made her miserable Proud of this conquest over herself she was now disposed to treat Mr Vincent with more favour than usual Selfcomplacency generally puts us in goodhumour with our friends
After spending some pleasant hours in Lord C———s beautiful grounds where the children explored to their satisfaction every dingle and bushy dell they returned home in the cool of the evening Mr Vincent thought it the most delightful evening he had ever felt
What as charming as a West Indian evening said Mr Percival This is more than I expected ever to hear you acknowledge in favour of England Do you remember how you used to rave of the climate and of the prospects of Jamaica
Yes but my taste has quite changed
I remember the time said Mr Percival when you thought it impossible that your taste should ever change when you told me that taste whether for the beauties of animate or inanimate nature was immutable
You and Miss Portman have taught me better sense First loves are generally silly things added he colouring a little Belinda coloured also
First loves continued Mr Percival are not necessarily more foolish than others but the chances are certainly against them From poetry or romance young people usually form their earlier ideas of love before they have actually felt the passion and the image which they have in their own minds of the beau ideal is cast upon the first objects they afterward behold This if I may be allowed the expression is Cupids Fata Morgana Deluded mortals are in ecstasy whilst the illusion lasts and in despair when it vanishes
Mr Percival appeared to be unconscious that what he was saying was any way applicable to Belinda He addressed himself to Mr Vincent solely and she listened at her ease
But said she do not you think that this prejudice as I am willing to allow it to be in favour of first loves may in our sex be advantageous Even when a woman may be convinced—that she ought not to indulge a first love should she not be prevented by delicacy from thinking of a second
Delicacy my dear Miss Portman is a charming word and a still more charming thing and Mrs Freke has probably increased our affection for it but even delicacy like all other virtues must be judged of by the test of utility We should run into romance and error and misery if we did not constantly refer to this standard Our reasonings as to the conduct of life as far as moral prudence is concerned must depend ultimately upon facts Now of the numbers of people in this world how many do you think have married their first loves Probably not one out of ten Then would you have nine out of ten pine all their lives in celibacy or fret in matrimony because they cannot have the persons who first struck their fancy
I acknowledge this would not add to the happiness of society said Belinda
Nor to its virtue said Mr Percival I scarcely know an idea more dangerous to domestic happiness than this belief in the unextinguishable nature of a first flame There are people who would persuade us that though it may be smothered for years it must break out at last and blaze with destructive fury Pernicious doctrine false as it is pernicious—The struggles between duty and passion may be the charm of romance but must be the misery of real life The woman who marries one man and loves another who in spite of all that an amiable and estimable husband can do to win her confidence and affection nourishes in secret a fatal prepossession for her first love may perhaps by the eloquence of a fine writer be made an interesting heroine—but would any man of sense or feeling choose to be troubled with such a wife—Would not even the idea that women admired such conduct necessarily tend to diminish our confidence if not in their virtue at least in their sincerity And would not this suspicion destroy our happiness Husbands may sometimes have delicate feelings as well as their wives though they are seldom allowed to have any by these unjust novel writers Now could a husband who has any delicacy be content to possess the person without the mind—the duty without the love—Could he be perfectly happy if in the fondest moments he might doubt whether he were an object of disgust or affection—whether the smiles of apparent joy were only the efforts of a suffering martyr—Thank Heaven I am not married to one of these charming martyrs Let those live with them who admire them For my part I admire and love the wife who not only seems but is happy—as I added Mr Percival smiling have the fond credulity to believe If I have spoken too long or too warmly upon the chapter of first loves I have at least been a perfectly disinterested declaimer for I can assure you Miss Portman that I do not suspect Lady Anne Percival of sighing in secret for some vision of perfection any more than she suspects me of pining for the charming Lady Delacour who perhaps you may have heard was my first love In these days however so few people marry with even the pretence to love of any sort that you will think I might have spared this tirade No there are ingenuous minds which will never be enslaved by fashion or interest though they may be exposed to be deceived by romance or by the delicacy of their own imaginations
I hear said Belinda smiling I hear and understand the emphasis with which you pronounce that word delicacy I see you have not forgotten that I used it improperly half an hour ago as you have convinced me
Happy they said Mr Percival who can be convinced in half an hour There are some people who cannot be convinced in a whole life and who end where they began with saying—This is my opinion—I always thought so and always shall
Mr Vincent at all times loved Mr Percival but he never felt so much affection for him as he did this evening and his arguments appeared to him unanswerable Though Belinda had never mentioned to Mr Vincent the name of Clarence Hervey till this day and though he did not in the least suspect from her manner that this gentleman ever possessed any interest in her heart yet with her accustomed sincerity she had confessed to him that an impression had been made upon her mind before she came to Oaklypark
After this conversation with Mr Percival Mr Vincent perceived that he gained ground more rapidly in her favour and his company grew every day more agreeable to her taste he was convinced that as he possessed her esteem he should in time secure her affections
In time repeated Lady Anne Percival you must allow her time or you will spoil all
It was with some difficulty that Mr Vincent restrained his impatience even though he was persuaded of the prudence of his friends advice Things went on in this happy but as he thought slow state of progression till towards the latter end of September
One fine morning Lady Anne Percival came into Belindas room with a bridal favour in her hand Do you know said she that we are to have a wedding today This favour has just been sent to my maid Lucy the pretty girl whom you may remember to have seen some time ago with that prettily turned necklace is the bride and James Jackson is the bridegroom Mr Vincent has let them a very pretty little farm in the neighbourhood and—hark theres the sound of music
They looked out of the window and they saw a troop of villagers gaily dressed going to the wedding Lady Anne who was always eager to promote innocent festivity sent immediately to have a tent pitched in the park and all the rural company were invited to a dance in the evening it was a very cheerful spectacle Belinda heard from all sides praises of Mr Vincents generosity and she could not be insensible to the simple but enthusiastic testimony which Juba bore to his masters goodness Juba had composed in his broken dialect a little song in honour of his master which he sang to his banjore with the most touching expression of joyful gratitude In some of the stanzas Belinda could distinguish that her own name was frequently repeated Lady Anne called him and desired to have the words of this song They were a mixture of English and of his native language they described in the strongest manner what had been his feelings whilst he was under the terror of Mrs Frekes fiery obeahwoman then his joy on being relieved from these horrors with the delightful sensations of returning health—and thence he suddenly passed to his gratitude to Belinda the person to whom he owed his recovery He concluded with wishing her all sorts of happiness and above all that she might be fortunate in her love which Juba thought the highest degree of felicity He had no sooner finished his song which particularly touched and pleased Miss Portman than he begged his master to offer to her the little instrument which he had made with much pains and ingenuity She accepted the banjore with a smile that enchanted Mr Vincent but at this instant they were startled by the sound of a carriage driving rapidly into the park Belinda looked up and between the heads of the dancers she just caught a glimpse of a wellknown livery Good heavens she exclaimed Lady Delacours carriage—Can it be Lady Delacour
The carriage stopped and Marriott hastily jumped out of it Belinda pressed forward to meet her poor Marriott was in great agitation—Oh Miss Portman my poor lady is very ill—very ill indeed She has sent me for you—heres her letter Dear Miss Portman I hope you wont refuse to come she has been very ill and is very ill but she would be better if she could see you again But Ill tell every thing maam when we are by ourselves and when you have read your letter
Miss Portman immediately accompanied Marriott towards the house and as they walked thither she learned that Lady Delacour had applied to the quackdoctor in whom she had such implicit faith and had in vain endeavoured to engage him to perform for her the operation to which she had determined to submit He was afraid to hazard it and he prevailed upon her to give up the scheme and to try some new external remedy from which he promised wonders No one knew what his medicines were but they affected her head in the most alarming manner
In her delirium she called frequently upon Miss Portman sometimes accusing her of the basest treachery sometimes addressing her as if she were present and pouring forth the warmest expressions of friendship In her lucid intervals maam continued Marriott she for some weeks scarcely ever mentioned your name nor could bear to hear me mention it One day when I was saying how much I wished that you were with her again she darted at me the most terrible look that ever I beheld
When I am in my grave Marriott cried my lady it will be time enough for Miss Portman again to visit this house and you may then express your attachment to her with more propriety than at present These were my ladys own words—I shall never forget them they struck and astonished me maam so much I stood like one stupified and then left the room to think them over again by myself and make sense of them if I could Well maam to be sure it then struck me like a flash of lightning that my lady was jealous—and begging your pardon maam—of you This seemed to me the most unnatural thing in the world considering how easy my lady had always seemed to be about my lord but it was now clear to me that this was the cause of your leaving us so suddenly maam Well I was confident that Mr Champfort was at the bottom of the business from the first and now that I knew what scent to go upon I went to work with fresh spirit to find him out which was a thing I was determined upon—and what Im determined upon I generally do maam So I put together things about Miss Portman and my lord that had dropped at odd times from Sir Philip Baddelys gentleman and I partly serious and partly flirting which in a good cause is no sin drew from him for he pretends to be a little an admirer of mine maam though I never gave him the smallest encouragement all he knew or suspected or had heard reported or whispered and out it came maam that Mr Champfort was the original of all and that he had told a heap of lies about some banknotes that my lord had given you and that you and my lord were to be married as soon as my lady was dead and I dont know what which he maliciously circulated through Sir Philips gentleman to Sir Philip himself and so round again to my lady Now Sir Philips man behaved like a gentleman upon the occasion which I shall ever be free to acknowledge and remember and when I represented things properly and made him sensible of the mischief which he assured me was done purely with an eye to serve Sir Philip his master he very candidly offered to assist me to unmask that villain Champfort which he could easily do with the assistance of a few bottles of claret and a few fair words which though I cant abide hypocrisy I thought quite allowable upon such an occasion So maam when Mr Champfort was thrown off his guard by the claret Sir Philips gentleman began to talk of my lord and my lady and Miss Portman and he observed that my lord and my lady were coming together more than they used to be since Miss Portman left the house To which Champfort replied with an oath like an unmannered reprobate as he is and in his gibberish French and English which I cant speak but the sense of it was this—My lord and lady shall never come together if I can help it It was to hinder this I got Miss Portman banished for my lord was quite another man after she got Miss Helena into the house and I dont doubt but he might have been brought to leave off his burgundy and set up for a sober regular man which would not suit me at all If my lady once was to get power over him again I might go whistle—so with another reprobate oath my lord and my lady shall never come together again whilst I live
Well maam continued Marriott as soon as I was in possession of this precious speech I carried it and a letter of Sir Philip Baddelys gentleman vouching it to my lady My lady was thunderstruck and so vexed to have been as she said a dupe that she sent for my lord directly and insisted upon his giving up Mr Champfort My lord demurred because my lady spoke so high and said insist He would have done it Im satisfied of his own accord with the greatest pleasure if my lady had not as it were commanded it But he answered at last My Lady Delacour Im not a man to be governed by a wife—I shall keep or part with my own servants in my own house according to my own pleasure and saying so he left the room I never saw my lady so angry as she was at this refusal of my lord to part with him The house was quite in a state of distraction for some days I never would sit down to the same table maam with Mr Champfort nor speak to him nor look at him and parties ran high above and below stairs And at last my lady who had been getting better took to her bed again with a nervous fever which brought her almost to deaths door she having been so much weakened before by the quack medicines and convulsions and all her sufferings in secret She would not see my lord on no account and Champfort persuaded him her illness was pretence to bring him to her purpose which was the more readily believed because nobody was ever let into my ladys bedchamber but myself All this time she never mentioned your name maam but once when I was sitting by her bedside as she was asleep she started suddenly and cried out Oh my dearest Belinda are you come back to me—She awakened herself with the start and raising herself quite up in her bed she pulled back the curtains and looked all round the room Im sure she expected to see you and when she found it was a dream she gave a heavy sigh and sank down upon her pillow I then could not forbear to speak and this time my lady was greatly touched when I mentioned your name—she shed tears maam and you know it is not a little thing that can draw tears from my lady But when I said something about sending for you she answered she was sure you would not return to her and that she would never condescend to ask a favour in vain even from you Then I replied that I was sure you loved her still and as well as ever and that the proof of that was that Mrs Luttridge and Mrs Freke together by all their wiles could not draw you over to their party at Harrowgate and that you had affronted Mrs Freke by defending her ladyship My lady was all surprise at this and eagerly asked how I came to know it Now maam I had it all by a post letter from Mrs Luttridges maid who is my cousin and knows every thing thats going on My lady from this moment forward could scarce rest an instant without wishing for you and fretting for you as I knew by her manner One day my lord met me on the stairs as I was coming down from my poor ladys room and he asked me how she was and why she did not send for a physician The best physician my lord she could send for said I would be Miss Portman for shell never be well till that good young lady comes back again in my humble opinion
And what should prevent that good young lady from coming back again Not I surely rejoined my lord for I wish she were here with all my heart
It is not easy to suppose my lord said I after all that has passed that the young lady would choose to return or that my lady would ask her whilst Mr Champfort remains paramount in the house If thats all cried my lord tell your lady Ill part with Champfort upon the spot for the rascal has just had the insolence to insist upon it that a pair of new boots are not too tight for me when I said they were Ill show him I can be master and will in my own house Maam my heart leaped for joy within me at hearing these words and I ran up to my lady with them I easily concluded in my own mind that my lord was glad of the pretence of the boots to give up handsomely after his standing out so long To be sure my lords mightily jealous of being master and mighty fond of his own way but I forgive him every thing for doing as I would have him at last and dismissing that prince of mischiefmakers Mr Champfort My lady called for her writingdesk directly and sat up in her bed and with her trembling hand as you see by the writing maam wrote a letter to you as fast as ever she could and the postchaise was ordered I dont know what fancy seized her—but if you remember maam the hammercloth to her new carriage had orange and black fringe at first she would not use it till this had been changed to blue and white Well maam she recollected this on a sudden as I was getting ready to come for you and she set the servants at work directly to take off the blue and white and put on the black and orange fringe again which she said must be done before your coming And my lady ordered her own footman to ride along with me and I have come post and have travelled night and day and will never rest till I get back But maam I wont keep you any longer from reading your letter only to say that I hope to Heaven you will not refuse to return to my poor lady if it be only to put her mind at ease before she dies She cannot have long to live
As Marriott finished these words they reached the house and Belinda went to her own room to read Lady Delacours letter It contained none of her customary éloquence du billet no sprightly wit no real no affected gaiety her mind seemed to be exhausted by bodily suffering and her high spirit subdued She expressed the most poignant anguish for having indulged such unjust suspicions and intemperate passions She lamented having forfeited the esteem and affection of the only real friend she had ever possessed—a friend of whose forbearance tenderness and fidelity she had received such indisputable proofs She concluded by saying I feel my end fast approaching and perhaps Belinda your humanity will induce you to grant my last request and to let me see you once more before I die
Belinda immediately decided to return to Lady Delacour—though it was with real regret that she thought of leaving Lady Anne Percival and the amiable and happy family to whom she had become so much attached The children crowded round her when they heard that she was going and Mr Vincent stood in silent sorrow—but we spare our readers this parting scene Miss Portman promised to return to Oaklypark as soon as she possibly could Mr Vincent anxiously requested permission to follow her to town but this she positively refused and he submitted with as good a grace as a lover can submit to any thing that crosses his passion
CHAPTER XX — RECONCILIATION
Aware that her remaining in town at such an unusual season of the year would appear unaccountable to her fashionable acquaintance Lady Delacour contrived for herself a characteristic excuse she declared that there was no possibility of finding pleasure in any thing but novelty and that the greatest novelty to her would be to remain a whole summer in town Most of her friends amongst whom she had successfully established a character for caprice were satisfied that this was merely some new whim practised to signalize herself by singularity The real reason that detained her was her dependence upon the empiric who had repeatedly visited and constantly prescribed for her Convinced however by the dreadful situation to which his prescriptions had lately reduced her that he was unworthy of her confidence she determined to dismiss him but she could not do this as she had a considerable sum to pay him till Marriotts return because she could not trust any one but Marriott to let him up the private staircase into the boudoir
During Marriotts absence her ladyship suffered no one to attend her but a maid who was remarkable for her stupidity She thought that she could have nothing to fear from this girls spirit of inquiry for never was any human being so destitute of curiosity It was about noon when Belinda and Marriott arrived Lady Delacour who had passed a restless night was asleep When she awoke she found Marriott standing beside her bed
Then it is all in vain I see cried her ladyship Miss Portman is not with you—Give me my laudanum
Miss Portman is come my lady said Marriott she is in the dressingroom she would not come in here with me lest she should startle you
Belinda is come do you say Admirable Belinda cried Lady Delacour and she clasped her hands with ecstasy
Shall I tell her my lady that you are awake
Yes—no—stay—Lord Delacour is at home I will get up immediately Let my lord be told that I wish to speak with him—that I beg he will breakfast with me in my dressingroom half an hour hence I will dress immediately
Marriott in vain represented that she ought not to hurry herself in her present weak state Intent upon her own thoughts she listened to nothing that was said but frequently urged Marriott to be expeditious She put on an unusual quantity of rouge then looking at herself in the glass she said with a forced smile Marriott I look so charmingly that Miss Portman perhaps will be of Lord Delacours opinion and think that nothing is the matter with me Ah no she has been behind the scenes—she knows the truth too well—Marriott pray did she ask you many questions about me—Was not she very sorry to leave Oaklypark—Were not they all extremely concerned to part with her—Did she ask after Helena—Did you tell her that I insisted upon my lords parting with Champfort
At the word Champfort Marriotts mouth opened eagerly and she began to answer with her usual volubility Lady Delacour waited not for any reply to the various questions which in the hurry of her mind she had asked but passing swiftly by Marriott she threw open the door of her dressingroom At the sight of Belinda she stopped short and totally overpowered she would have sunk upon the floor had not Miss Portman caught her in her arms and supported her to a sofa When she came to herself and heard the soothing tone of Belindas voice she looked up timidly in her face for a few moments without being able to speak
And are you really here once more my dear Belinda cried she at last and may I still call you my friend—and do you forgive me—Yes I see you do—and from you I can endure the humiliation of being forgiven Enjoy the noble sense of your own superiority
My dear Lady Delacour said Belinda you see all this in too strong a light you have done me no injury—I have nothing to forgive
I cannot see it in too strong a light—Nothing to forgive—Yes you have that which it is the most difficult to forgive—injustice Oh how you must have despised me for the folly the meanness of my suspicions Of all tempers that which appears to me and I am sure to you the most despicable the most intolerable is a suspicious temper Mine was once open generous as your own—you see how the best dispositions may be depraved—what am I now Fit only
To point a moral or adorn a tale—
a mismatched misplaced miserable perverted being
And now you have abused yourself till you are breathless I may have some chance said Belinda of being heard in your defence I perfectly agree with you in thinking that a suspicious temper is despicable and intolerable but there is a vast difference between an acute fit of jealousy as our friend Dr X—— would say and a chronic habit of suspicion The noblest natures may be worked up to suspicion by designing villany and then a handkerchief or a hammercloth trifles as light as air—
Oh my dear you are too good But my folly admits of no excuse no palliation interrupted Lady Delacour mine was jealousy without love
That indeed would admit of no excuse said Belinda therefore you will pardon me if I think it incredible—especially as I have detected you in feeling something like affection for your little daughter after you had done your best I mean your worst to make me believe that you were a monster of a mother
That was quite another affair my dear I did not know Helena was worth loving I did not imagine my little daughter could love me When I found my mistake I changed my tone But there is no hope of mistake with my poor husband Your own sense must show you that Lord Delacour is not a man to beloved
That could not always have been your ladyships opinion said Belinda with an arch smile
Lord my dear said Lady Delacour a little embarrassed in the highest paroxysm of my madness I never suspected that you could love Lord Delacour I surely only hinted that you were in love with his coronet That was absurd enough in all conscience—dont make me more absurd than I am
Is it then the height of absurdity to love a husband
Love Nonsense—Impossible—Hush here he comes with his odious creaking shoes What man can ever expect to be loved who wears creaking shoes pursued her ladyship as Lord Delacour entered the room his shoes creaking at every step and assuming an air of levity she welcomed him as a stranger to her dressingroom No speeches my lord no speeches I beseech you cried she as he was beginning to speak to Miss Portman Believe me that explanations always make bad worse Miss Portman is here thank Heaven and her and Champfort is gone thank you—or your boots And now let us sit down to breakfast and forget as soon as possible every thing that is disagreeable
When Lady Delacour had a mind to banish painful recollections it was scarcely possible to resist the magical influence of her conversation and manners yet her lords features never relaxed to a smile during this breakfast He maintained an obstinate silence and a profound solemnity—till at last rising from table he turned to Miss Portman and said Of all the caprices of fine ladies that which surprises me the most is the whim of keeping their beds without being sick Now Miss Portman you would hardly suppose that my Lady Delacour who has been so lively this morning has kept her bed as I am informed a fortnight—is not this astonishing
Prodigiously astonishing that my Lord Delacour like all the rest of the world should be liable to be deceived by appearances cried her ladyship Honour me with your attention for a few minutes my lord and perhaps I may increase your astonishment
His lordship struck by the sudden change of her voice from gaiety to gravity fixed his eyes upon her and returned to his seat She paused—then addressing herself to Belinda My incomparable friend said she I will now give you a convincing proof of the unlimited power you have over my mind My lord Miss Portman has persuaded me to the step which I am now going to take She has prevailed upon me to make a decisive trial of your prudence and kindness She has determined me to throw myself on your mercy
Mercy repeated Lord Delacour and a confused idea that she was now about to make a confession of the justice of some of his former suspicions took possession of his mind he looked aghast
I am going my lord to confide to you a secret of the utmost importance—a secret which is known to but three people in the world—Miss Portman Marriott and a man whose name I cannot reveal to you
Stop Lady Delacour cried his lordship with a degree of emotion and energy which he had never shown till now stop I conjure I command you madam I am not sufficiently master of myself—I once loved you too well to hear such a stroke Trust me with no such secret—say no more—you have said enough—too much I forgive you that is all I can do but we must part Lady Delacour said he breaking from her with agony expressed in his countenance
The man has a heart a soul I protest You knew him better than I did Miss Portman Nay you are not gone yet my lord You really love me I find
No no no cried he vehemently weak as you take me to be Lady Delacour I am incapable of loving a woman who has disgraced me disgraced herself her family her station her high endowments her— His utterance failed
Oh Lady Delacour cried Belinda how can you trifle in this manner
I meant not said her ladyship to trifle I am satisfied My lord it is time that you should be satisfied I can give you the most irrefragable proof that whatever may have been the apparent levity of my conduct you have had no serious cause for jealousy But the proof will shock—disgust you Have you courage to know more—Then follow me
He followed her—Belinda heard the boudoir door unlocked—In a few minutes they returned—Grief and horror and pity were painted in Lord Delacours countenance as he passed hastily through the room
My dearest friend I have taken your advice would to Heaven I had taken it sooner said Lady Delacour to Miss Portman I have revealed to Lord Delacour my real situation Poor man he was shocked beyond expression He behaved incomparably well I am convinced that he would as he said let his hand be cut off to save my life The moment his foolish jealousy was extinguished his love for me revived in full force Would you believe it he has promised me to break with odious Mrs Luttridge Upon my charging him to keep my secret from her he instantly in the handsomest manner in the world declared he would never see her more rather than give me a moments uneasiness How I reproach myself for having been for years the torment of this mans life
You may do better than reproach yourself my dear Lady Delacour said Belinda you may yet live for years to be the blessing and pride of his life I am persuaded that nothing but your despair of obtaining domestic happiness has so long enslaved you to dissipation and now that you find a friend in your husband now that you know the affectionate temper of your little Helena you will have fresh views and fresh hopes you will have the courage to live for yourself and not for what is called the world
The world cried Lady Delacour with a tone of disdain how long has that word enslaved a soul formed for higher purposes She paused and looked up towards heaven with an expression of fervent devotion which Belinda had once and but once before seen in her countenance Then as if forgetful even that Belinda was present she threw herself upon a sofa and fell or seemed to fall into a profound reverie She was roused by the entrance of Marriott who came into the room to ask whether she would now take her laudanum I thought I had taken it said she in a feeble voice and as she raised her eyes and saw Belinda she added with a faint smile Miss Portman I believe has been laudanum to me this morning but even that will not do long you see nothing will do for me now but this and she stretched out her hand for the laudanum Is not it shocking to think continued she after she had swallowed it that in laudanum alone I find the means of supporting existence
She put her hand to her head as if partly conscious of the confusion of her own ideas and ashamed that Belinda should witness it she desired Marriott to assist her to rise and to support her to her bedchamber She made a sign to Miss Portman not to follow her Do not take it unkindly but I am quite exhausted and wish to be alone for I am grown fond of being alone some hours in the day and perhaps I shall sleep
Marriott came out of her ladys room about a quarter of an hour afterward and said that her lady seemed disposed to sleep but that she desired to have her hook left by her bedside Marriott searched among several which lay upon the table for one in which a mark was put Belinda looked over them along with Marriott and she was surprised to find that they had almost all methodistical titles Lady Delacours mark was in the middle of Wesleys Admonitions Several pages in other books of the same description Miss Portman found marked in pencil with reiterated lines which she knew to be her ladyships customary mode of distinguishing passages that she particularly liked Some were highly oratorical but most of them were of a mystical cast and appeared to Belinda scarcely intelligible She had reason to be astonished at meeting with such books in the dressingroom of a woman of Lady Delacours character During the solitude of her illness her ladyship had first begun to think seriously on religious subjects and the early impressions that had been made on her mind in her childhood by a methodistical mother recurred Her understanding weakened perhaps by disease and never accustomed to reason was incapable of distinguishing between truth and error and her temper naturally enthusiastic hurried her from one extreme to the other—from thoughtless scepticism to visionary credulity Her devotion was by no means steady or permanent it came on by fits usually at the time when the effect of opium was exhausted or before a fresh dose began to operate In these intervals she was lowspirited—bitter reflections on the manner in which she had thrown away her talents and her life obtruded themselves the idea of the untimely death of Colonel Lawless of which she reproached herself as the cause returned and her mind from being a prey to remorse began to sink in these desponding moments under the most dreadful superstitious terrors—terrors the more powerful as they were secret Whilst the stimulus of laudanum lasted the train of her ideas always changed and she was amazed at the weak fears and strange notions by which she had been disturbed yet it was not in her power entirely to chase away these visions of the night and they gained gradually a dominion over her of which she was heartily ashamed She resolved to conceal this weakness as in her gayer moments she thought it from Belinda from whose superior strength of understanding she dreaded ridicule or contempt Her experience of Miss Portmans gentleness and friendship might reasonably have prevented or dispelled such apprehensions but Lady Delacour was governed by pride by sentiment by whim by enthusiasm by passion—by any thing but reason
When she began to revive after her fit of languor and had been refreshed by opium and sleep she rang for Marriott and inquired for Belinda She was much provoked when Marriott by way of proving to her that Miss Portman could not have been tired of being left alone told her that she had been in the dressingroom rummaging over the books
What books cried Lady Delacour I forgot that they were left there Miss Portman is not reading them still I suppose Go for them and let them be locked up in my own bookcase and bring me the key
Her ladyship appeared in good spirits when she saw Belinda again She rallied her upon the serious studies she had chosen for her mornings amusements Those methodistical books with their strange quaint titles said she are however diverting enough to those who like myself can find diversion in the height of human absurdity
Deceived by the levity of her manner Belinda concluded that the marks of approbation in these books were ironical and she thought no more of the matter for Lady Delacour suddenly gave a new turn to the conversation by exclaiming Now we talk of the height of human absurdity what are we to think of Clarence Hervey
Why should we think of him at all said Belinda
For two excellent reasons my dear because we cannot help it and because he deserves it Yes he deserves it believe me if it were only for having written these charming letters said Lady Delacour opening a cabinet and taking out a small packet of letters which she put into Belindas hands Pray read them you will find them amazingly edifying as well as entertaining I protest I am only puzzled to know whether I shall bind them up with Sternes Sentimental Journey or Fordyces Sermons for Young Women Here my love if you like description continued her ladyship opening one of the letters here is a Radcliffean tour along the picturesque coasts of Dorset and Devonshire Why he went this tour unless for the pleasure and glory of describing it Heaven knows Clouds and darkness rest over the tourists private history but this of course renders his letters more piquant and interesting All who have a just taste either for literature or for gallantry know how much we are indebted to the obscure for the sublime and orators and lovers feel what felicity there is in the use of the fine figure of suspension
Very good description indeed said Belinda without raising her eyes from the letter or seeming to pay any attention to the latter part of Lady Delacours speech very good description certainly
Well my dear but here is something better than pure description—here is sense for you and pray mark the politeness of addressing sense to a woman—to a woman of sense I mean—and which of us is not Then here is sentiment for you continued her ladyship spreading another letter before Belinda a story of a Dorsetshire lady who had the misfortune to be married to a man as unlike Mr Percival and as like Lord Delacour as possible and yet oh wonderful they make as happy a couple as ones heart could wish Now I am truly candid and goodnatured to admire this letter for every word of it is a lesson to me and evidently was so intended But I take it all in good part because to do Clarence justice he describes the joys of domestic Paradise in such elegant language that he does not make me sick In short my dear Belinda to finish my panegyric as it has been said of some other epistles if ever there were letters calculated to make you fall in love with the writer of them these are they
Then said Miss Portman folding up the letter which she was just going to read I will not run the hazard of reading them
Why my dear said Lady Delacour with a look of mingled concern reproach and raillery have you actually given up my poor Clarence merely on account of this mistress in the wood this Virginia St Pierre Nonsense Begging your pardon my dear the man loves you Some entanglement some punctilio some doubt some delicacy some folly prevents him from being just at this moment where I confess he ought to be—at your feet and you out of patience which a young lady ought never to be if she can help it will go and marry—I know you will—some stick of a rival purely to provoke him
If ever I marry said Belinda with a look of proud humility I shall certainly marry to please myself and not to provoke any body else and at all events I hope I shall never marry a stick
Pardon me that word said Lady Delacour I am convinced you never will—but one is apt to judge of others by ones self I am willing to believe that Mr Vincent——
Mr Vincent How did you know—— exclaimed Belinda
How did I know Why my dear do you think I am so little interested about you that I have not found out some of your secrets And do you think that Marriott could refrain from telling me in her most triumphant tone that Miss Portman has not gone to Oaklypark for nothing that she has made a conquest of a Mr Vincent a West Indian a ward or lately a ward of Mr Percivals the handsomest man that ever was seen and the richest c c c Now simple I rejoiced at the news for I took it for granted you would never seriously think of marrying the man
Then why did your ladyship rejoice
Why Oh you novice at Cupids chessboard do not you see the next move Check with your new knight and the game is your own Now if your aunt Stanhope saw your look at this instant she would give you up for ever—if she have not done that already In plain unmetaphorical prose then cannot you comprehend my straightforward Belinda that if you make Clarence Hervey heartily jealous let the impediments to your union be what they may he will acknowledge himself to be heartily in love with you I should make no scruple of frightening him within an inch of his life for his good Sir Philip Baddely was not the man to frighten him but this Mr Vincent by all accounts is just the thing
And do you imagine that I could use Mr Vincent so illAnd can you think me capable of such double dealing
Oh in love and war you know all stratagems are allowable But you take the matter so seriously and you redden with such virtuous indignation that I dare not say a word more—only—may I ask—are you absolutely engaged to Mr Vincent
No We have had the prudence to avoid all promises all engagements
Theres my good girl cried Lady Delacour kissing her all may yet turn out well Read those letters—take them to your room read them read them and depend upon it my dearest Belinda you are not the sort of woman that will that can be happy if you make a mere match of convenience Forgive me—I love you too well not to speak the truth though it may offend for a moment
You do not offend but you misunderstand me said Belinda Have patience with me and you shall find that I am incapable of making a mere match of convenience
Then Miss Portman gave Lady Delacour a simple but full account of all that had passed at Oaklypark relative to Mr Vincent She repeated the arguments by which Lady Anne Percival had first prevailed upon her to admit of Mr Vincents addresses She said that she had been convinced by Mr Percival that the omnipotence of a first love was an idea founded in error and realized only in romance and that to believe that none could be happy in marriage except with the first object of their fancy or their affections would be an error pernicious to individuals and to society When she detailed the arguments used by Mr Percival on this subject Lady Delacour sighed and observed that Mr Percival was certainly right judging from his own experience to declaim against the folly of first loves and for the same reason added she perhaps I may be pardoned if I retain some prejudice in their favour She turned aside her head to hide a starting tear and here the conversation dropped Belinda recollecting the circumstances of her ladyships early history reproached herself for having touched on this tender subject yet at the same time she felt with increased force at this moment the justice of Mr Percivals observations for evidently the hold which this prejudice had kept in Lady Delacours mind had materially injured her happiness by making her neglect after her marriage all the means of content that were in her reach Her incessant comparisons between her first love and her husband excited perpetual contempt and disgust in her mind for her wedded lord and for many years precluded all perception of his good qualities all desire to live with him upon good terms and all idea of securing that share of domestic happiness that was actually in her power Belinda resolved at some future moment whenever she could with propriety and with effect to suggest these reflections to Lady Delacour and in the mean time she was determined to turn them to her own advantage She perceived that she should have need of all her steadiness to preserve her judgment unbiassed by her ladyships wit and persuasive eloquence on the one hand and on the other by her own high opinion of Lady Anne Percivals judgment and the anxious desire she felt to secure her approbation The letters from Clarence Hervey she read at night when she retired to her own room and they certainly raised not only Belindas opinion of his talents but her esteem for his character She saw that he had with great address made use of the influence he possessed over Lady Delacour to turn her mind to every thing that could make her amiable estimable and happy—she saw that Clarence so far from attempting for the sake of his own vanity to retain his preeminence in her ladyships imagination used on the contrary his utmost skill to turn the tide of her affections toward her husband and her daughter In one of his letters and but in one he mentioned Belinda He expressed great regret in hearing from Lady Delacour that her friend Miss Portman was no longer with her He expatiated on the inestimable advantages and happiness of having such a friend—but this referred to Lady Delacour not to himself There was an air of much respect and some embarrassment in all he said of Belinda but nothing like love A few words at the end of this paragraph were cautiously obliterated however and without any obvious link of connexion the writer began a new sentence with a general reflection upon the folly and imprudence of forming romantic projects Then he enumerated some of the various schemes he had formed in his early youth and humorously recounted how they had failed or how they had been abandoned Afterward changing his tone from playful wit to serious philosophy he observed the changes which these experiments had made in his own character
My friend Dr X—— said he divides mankind into three classes those who learn from the experience of others—they are happy men those who learn from their own experience—they are wise men and lastly those who learn neither from their own nor from other peoples experience—they are fools This class is by far the largest I am content continued Clarence to be in the middle class—perhaps you will say because I cannot be in the first however were it in my power to choose my own character I should forgive me the seeming vanity of the speech still be content to remain in my present station upon this principle—the characters of those who are taught by their own experience must be progressive in knowledge and virtue Those who learn from the experience of others may become stationary because they must depend for their progress on the experiments that we brave volunteers at whose expense they are to live and learn are pleased to try There may be much safety in thus snugly fighting or rather seeing the battle of life behind the broad shield of a stouter warrior yet it seems to me to be rather an ignominious than an enviable situation
Our friend Dr X—— would laugh at my insisting upon being amongst the class of learners by their own experience He would ask me whether it be the ultimate end of my philosophy to try experiments or to be happy And what answer should I make I have none ready Common sense stares me in the face and my feelings even at this instant alas confute my system I shall pay too dear yet for some of my experiments Sois grand homme et sois malheureux is I am afraid the law of nature or rather the decree of the world Your ladyship will not read this without a smile for you will immediately infer that I think myself a great man and as I detest hypocrisy yet more than vanity I shall not deny the charge At all events I feel that I am at present—however gaily I talk of it—in as fair a way to be unhappy for life as if I were in good earnest the greatest man in Europe
Your ladyships most respectful admirer and sincere friend
CLARENCE HERVEY
P S—Is there any hope that your friend Miss Portman may spend the winter in town
Though Lady Delacour had been much fatigued by the exertion of her spirits during the day she sat up at night to write to Mr Hervey Her love and gratitude to Miss Portman interested her most warmly for her happiness and she was persuaded that the most effectual way to secure it would be to promote her union with her first love Lady Delacour who had also the best opinion of Clarence Hervey and the most sincere friendship for him thought she was likewise acting highly for his interest and she felt that she had some merit in at once parting with him from the train of her admirers and urging him to become a dull married man Besides these generous motives she was perhaps a little influenced by jealousy of the superior power which Lady Anne Percival had in so short a time acquired over Belindas mind Strange thought she if love and I be not a match for Lady Anne Percival and reason To do Lady Delacour justice it must be observed that she took the utmost care in her letter not to commit her friend she wrote with all the delicate address of which she was mistress She began by rallying her correspondent on his indulging himself so charmingly in the melancholy of genius and she prescribed as a cure to her malheureux imaginaire as she called him those joys of domestic life which he so well knew how to paint
Précepte commence exemple achève said her ladyship You will never see me la femme comme il y en a peu till I see you le bon mari Belinda Portman has this day returned to me from Oaklypark fresh blooming wise and gay as country air flattery philosophy and love can make her It seems that she has had full employment for her head and heart Mr Percival and Lady Anne by right of science and reason have taken possession of the head and a Mr Vincent their cidevant ward and declared favourite has laid close siege to the heart of which he is in a fair way I think to take possession by the right of conquest As far as I can understand—for I have not yet seen le futur—he deserves my Belinda for besides being as handsome as any hero of romance ancient or modern he has a soul in which neither spot nor blemish can be found except the amiable weakness of being desperately in love—a weakness which we ladies are apt to prefer to the most philosophic stoicism apropos of philosophy—we may presume that notwithstanding Mr V—— is a creole he has been bred up by his guardian in the class of men who learn by the experience of others As such according to your system he has a right to expect to be a happy man has not he According to Mrs Stanhopes system I am sure that he has for his thousands and tens of thousands as I am credibly informed pass the comprehension of the numeration table
But these will weigh not a grain in the estimation of her truly disinterested and nobleminded niece Mrs Stanhope knows nothing of Mr Vincents proposals and it is well for him she does not for her worldly good word would mar the whole Not so as to Lady Anne and Mr Percivals approbation—their opinion is all in all with my friend How they have contrived it I know not but they have gained over Belindas mind a degree of power almost equal to parental authority so you may guess that the doubtful beam will not much longer nod from side to side indeed it seems to me scarcely necessary to throw in the sword of authority to turn the scale
If you can persuade yourself to finish your picturesque tour before the ides of the charming month of November do my dear Clarence make haste and come back to us in time for Belindas wedding—and do not forget my commission about the Dorsetshire angel bring me one in your right hand with a gold ring upon her taper finger—so help you Cupid or never more expect a smile
From your sincere friend and admirer
TCH DELACOUR
PS Observe my good sir that I am not in such a desperate hurry to congratulate you on your marriage that I should be satisfied with an ordinary Mrs Hervey so do not under pretence of obliging me or for any other consideration yoke yourself to some damsel that you will be ashamed to produce For one woman worthy to be Clarence Herveys wife I have seen at a moderate computation a hundred fit to be his mistress If he should on this subject mistake the fitness of things or of persons he would indeed be in a fair way to be unhappy for life
The substance of a ladys letter it has been said always is comprised in the postscript
After Lady Delacour had finished this letter which she had no doubt would bring Clarence immediately to town she left it with Marriott with orders to have it sent by the next post Much fatigued she then retired to rest and was not visible the next day till near dinnertime When Miss Portman returned the packet of Mr Herveys letters her ladyship was dissatisfied with the measured terms of Belindas approbation and she said with a sarcastic smile So they have made a complete philosopher of you at Oaklypark You are perfect in the first lesson—not to admire And is the torch of Cupid to be extinguished on the altar of Reason
Rather to be lighted there if possible said Belinda and she endeavoured to turn the conversation to what she thought must be more immediately interesting to Lady Delacour—her own health She assured her with perfect truth that she was at present more intent upon her situation than upon Cupid or his torch
I believe you my generous Belinda said Lady Delacour and for that very reason I am interested in your affairs I am afraid even to the verge of impertinence May I ask why this preux chevalier of yours did not attend you or follow you to town
Mr Vincent—He knew that I came to attend your ladyship I told him that you had been confined by a nervous fever and that it would be impossible for me to see him at present but I promised when you could spare me to return to Oaklypark
Lady Delacour sighed and opened Clarence Herveys letters one after another looking over them without seeming well to know what she was about Lord Delacour came into the room whilst these letters were still in her hand He had been absent since the preceding morning and he now seemed as if he were just come home much fatigued He began in a tone of great anxiety to inquire after Lady Delacours health She was piqued at his having left home at such a time and merely bowing her head to him she went on reading His eyes glanced upon the letters which she held in her hand and when he saw the wellknown writing of Clarence Hervey his manner immediately altered and stammering out some commonplace phrases he threw himself into an armchair by the fireside protesting that he was tired to death—that he was half dead—that he had been in a postchaise for three hours which he hated—had ridden fifty miles since yesterday and he muttered that he was a fool for his pains—an observation which though it reached her ladyships ears she did not think proper to contradict
His lordship had then recourse to his watch his neverfailing friend in need which he always pulled out with a particular jerk when he was vexed
It is time for me to be gone—I shall be late at Studleys
You dine with his lordship then said Lady Delacour in a careless tone
Yes and his good burgundy I hope will wind me up again said he stretching himself for I am quite down
Quite down Then we may conclude that my friend Mrs Luttridge is not yet come to Rantipole Rantipole my dear continued Lady Delacour turning to Miss Portman is the name of Harriot Frekes villa in Kent However strange it may sound to your ears and mine I can assure you the name has made fortune amongst a certain description of wits And candour must allow that if not elegant it is appropriate it gives a just idea of the manners and way of life of the place for every thing at Rantipole is rantipole But I am really concerned my lord you should have ridden yourself down in this way for nothing Why did not you get better intelligence before you set out I am afraid you feel the loss of Champfort Why did not you contrive to learn for certain my dear good lord whether the Luttridge was at Rantipole before you set out on this wild goose chase
My dear good lady replied Lord Delacour assuming a degree of spirit which startled her as much as it became him why do you not get better intelligence before you suspect me of being a brute and a liar Did not I promise you yesterday that I would break with the Luttridge as you call her and how could you imagine that the instant afterwards just at the time I was wrung to the soul as you know I was—how could you imagine I would leave you to go to Rantipole or to any woman upon earth
Oh my lord I beg your pardon I beg your pardon a thousand times cried Lady Delacour rising with much emotion and going towards him with a sudden impulse she kissed his forehead
And so you ought to beg my pardon said Lord Delacour in a faltering voice but without moving his posture
You will acknowledge you left me however my lord That is clear
Left you Yes so I did to ride all over the country in search of a house that would suit you For what else did you think I could leave you at such a time as this
Lady Delacour again stooped and leaned her arm upon his shoulder
I wish to Heaven my dear said his lordship shrinking as he put away her hand which still held Clarence Herveys letters I wish to Heaven my dear you would not hold those abominable perfumed papers just under my very nose You know I cannot stand perfumes
Are they perfumed Ay so every thing is that I keep in that cabinet of curiosities Thank you my dear Miss Portman said her ladyship as Belinda rose to take the letters from her hand Will you have the goodness to put them back into their cabinet if you can endure to touch them if the perfume has not overcome you as well as my lord After all it is only ottar of roses to which few peoples olfactory nerves have an antipathy
I have the honour to be one of the few said his lordship rising from his seat with so sudden a motion as to displace Lady Delacours arm which leaned upon him For my part continued he taking down one of the Argand lamps from the chimneypiece and trimming it I would rather a hundred to one snuff up the oil of this cursed lamp
Whilst his lordship applied himself to trimming the lamp with great earnestness Lady Delacour negligently walked away to the farthest end of the room where stood the cabinet which Belinda was trying to unlock
Stay my love it has a secret lock which I alone can manage
Oh my dear Lady Delacour whispered Belinda holding her hand as she gave her the key I never can love or esteem you if you use Lord Delacour ill now
Ill now ill now This lock is spoilt I do believe said she aloud
Nay you understand me Lady Delacour You see what is passing in his mind
To be sure I am not a fool though he is I see he is jealous though he has had such damning proof that alls right—the mans a fool thats all Are you sure this is the key I gave you my dear
And can you think him a fool pursued Belinda in a still more earnest whisper for being more jealous of your mind than of your person Fools have seldom so much penetration or so much delicacy
But Lord what would you have me do what would you have me say That Lord Delacour writes better letters than these
Oh no but show him these letters and you will do justice to him to yourself to Cla—— to every body
I am sure I should be happy to do justice to every body
Then pray do this very instant my dearest Lady Delacour and I shall love you for it all my life
Done—for who can withstand that offer—Done said her ladyship Then turning to Lord Delacour My lord will you come here and tell us what can be the matter with this lock
If the lock be spoiled Lady Delacour you had better send for a locksmith replied his lordship who was still employed about the wick of the Argand I am no locksmith—I do not pretend to understand locks—especially secret locks
But you will not desert us at our utmost need I am sure my lord said Belinda approaching him with a conciliatory smile
You want the light I believe more than I do said his lordship advancing with the lamp to meet her Well what is the matter with this confounded lock of yours Lady Delacour I know I should be at Studleys by this time—but how in the devils name can you expect me to open a secret lock when I do not know the secret Lady Delacour
Then I will tell you the secret Lord Delacour—that there is no secret at all in the lock or in the letters Here if you can stand the odious smell of ottar of roses take these letters and read them foolish man and keep them till the shocking perfume is gone off
Lord Delacour could scarcely believe his senses he looked in Lady Delacours eyes to see whether he had understood her rightly
But I am afraid said she smiling that you will find the perfume too overcoming
Not half so overcoming cried he seizing her hand and kissing it often with eager tenderness not half so overcoming as this confidence this kindness this condescension from you
Miss Portman will think us both a couple of old fools said her ladyship making a slight effort to withdraw her hand But she is almost as great a simpleton herself I think continued she observing that the tears stood in Belindas eyes
My lord said a footman who came in at this instant do you dress The carriage is at the door as you ordered to go to Lord Studleys
Id see Lord Studley at the devil sir and his burgundy along with him before Id go to him today and you may tell him so if you please cried Lord Delacour
Very well my lord said the footman
My lord dines at home—they may put up the carriage—thats all said Lady Delacour only let us have dinner directly added she as the servant shut the door Miss Portman will be famished amongst us there is no living upon sentiment
And there is no living with such belles without being something more of a beau said Lord Delacour looking at his splashed boots I will be ready for dinner before dinner is ready for me With activity very unusual to him he hurried out of the room to change his dress
O day of wonders exclaimed Lady Delacour And O night of wonders if we can get him through the evening without the help of Lord Studleys wine You must give us some music my good Belinda and make him accompany you with his flute I can tell you he has really a very pretty taste for music and knows fifty times more of the matter than half the dilettanti who squeeze the human face divine into all manner of ridiculous shapes by way of persuading you that they are in ecstasy And my dear do not forget to show us the charming little portfolio of drawings that you have brought from Oaklypark Lord Delacour was with me at Harrowgate in the days of his courtship he knows the charming views that you have been taking about Knaresborough and Fountains Abbey and all those places I will answer for it he remembers them a hundred times better than I do And my love I assure you he is a better judge of drawing than many whom we saw ogling Venus rising from the sea in the Orleans gallery Lord Delacour has let his talents go to sleep in a shameless manner but really he has talents if they could be wakened Bytheby pray make him tell you the story of Lord Studleys original Titian he tells that story with real humour Perhaps you have not found it out but Lord Delacour has a vast deal of drollery in his own way and——
Dinners ready my lady
That is a pity whispered Lady Delacour for if they had let me go on in my present humour I should have found out that my lord has every accomplishment under the sun and every requisite under the moon to make the marriage state happy
With the assistance of Belindas portfolio and her harp and the goodhumour and sprightliness of Lady Delacours wit his lordship got through the evening much to his own satisfaction He played on the flute he told the story of Studleys original Titian and he detected a fault that had escaped Mr Percival in the perspective of Miss Portmans sketch of Fountains Abbey The perception that his talents were called out and that he appeared to unusual advantage made him excellent company he found that the spirits can be raised by selfcomplacency even more agreeably than by burgundy
CHAPTER XXI — HELENA
Whilst they were at breakfast the next morning in Lady Delacours dressingroom Marriott knocked at the door and immediately opening it exclaimed in a joyful tone Miss Portman theyre eating it Maam theyre eating it as fast as ever they can
Bring them in your lady will give you leave Marriott I fancy said Miss Portman Marriott brought in her gold fishes some green leaves were floating on the top of the water in the glass globe
See my lady said she what Miss Portman has been so good as to bring from Oaklypark for my poor gold fishes who I am sure ought to be much obliged to her as well as myself Marriott set the globe beside her lady and retired
From Oaklypark And by what name impossible to pronounce must I call these green leaves to please botanic ears said Lady Delacour
This replied Belinda is what
Thunlearned duckweed—learned lemna call
and it is to be found in any ditch or standing pool
And what possessed you my dear for the sake of Marriott and her gold fishes to trouble yourself to bring such stuff a hundred and seventy miles
To oblige little Charles Percival said Miss Portman He was anxious to keep his promise of sending it to your Helena She found out in some book that she was reading with him last summer that gold fishes are fond of this plant and I wish added Belinda in a timid voice that she were here at this instant to see them eat it
Lady Delacour was silent for some minutes and kept her eye steadily upon the gold fishes At length she said I never shall forget how well the poor little creature behaved about those gold fishes I grew amazingly fond of her whilst she was with me But you know circumstanced as I was after you left me I could not have her at home
But now I am here said Belinda will she he any trouble to you And will she not make your home more agreeable to you and to Lord Delacour who was evidently very fond of her
Ah my dear said Lady Delacour you forget and so do I at times what I have to go through It is in vain to talk to think of making home or any place or any thing or any person agreeable to me now What am I The outside rind is left—the sap is gone The tree lasts from day to day by miracle—it cannot last long You would not wonder to hear me talk in this way if you knew the terrible time I had last night after we parted But I have these nights constantly now Let us talk of something else What have you there—a manuscript
Yes a little journal of Edward Percivals which he sent for the entertainment of Helena
Lady Delacour stretched out her hand for it The boy will write as like his father as possible said she turning over the leaves I wish to have this poor girl with me—but I have no spirits And you know whenever Lord Delacour can find a house that will suit us we shall leave town and I could not take Helena with me But this may be the last opportunity I may ever have of seeing her and I can refuse you nothing my dear So will you go for her She can stay with us a few days Lady Boucher that most convenient dowager who likes going about no matter where all the morning will go with you to Mrs Dumonts academy in Sloanestreet I would as soon go to a birdfanciers as to a boardingschool for young ladies indeed I am not well enough to go any where So I will throw myself upon a sofa and read this childs journal I wonder how that or any thing else can interest me now
Belinda who had been used to the variations of Lady Delacours spirits was not much alarmed by the despondent strain in which she now spoke especially when she considered that the thoughts of the dreadful trial this unfortunate woman was soon to go through must naturally depress her courage Rejoiced at the permission that she had obtained to go for Helena Miss Portman sent immediately to Lady Boucher who took her to Sloanestreet
Now my dear considerate Miss Portman said Lady Boucher I must beg and request that you will hurry Miss Delacour into the carriage as fast as possible I have not a moment to spare for I am to be at a china auction at two that I would not miss for the whole world Well whats the matter with the people Why does not James knock at the door Cant the man read Cant the man see cried the purblind dowager Is not that Mrs Dumonts name on the door before his eyes
No maam I believe this name is Ellicot said Belinda
Ellicot is it Ay true But whats the man stopping for then Mrs Dumonts is the next door tell the blind dunce Mercy on us To waste ones time in this way I shall as sure as fate be too late for the china auction What upon earth stops us
Nothing but a little covered cart which stands at Mrs Dumonts door There now it is going an old man is drawing it out of the way as fast as he can
Open the coachdoor James cried Lady Boucher the moment that they had drawn up Now my dear considerate Miss Portman remember the auction and dont let Miss Delacour stay to change her dress or any thing
Belinda promised not to detain her ladyship a minute The door at Mrs Dumonts was open and a servant was assisting an old man to carry in some geraniums and balsams out of the covered cart which had stopped the way In the hall a crowd of children were gathered round a high stand on which they were eagerly arranging their flowerpots and the busy hum of voices was so loud that when Miss Portman first went in she could neither hear the servant nor make him hear her name Nothing was to be heard but Oh how beautiful Oh how sweet Thats mine Thats yours The great rose geranium for Miss Jefferson The white Provence rose for Miss Adderly No indeed Miss Pococke thats for Miss Delacour the old man said so
Silence silence mesdemoiselles cried the voice of a French woman and all was silence The little crowd looked towards the hall door and from the midst of her companions Helena Delacour who now caught a glimpse of Belinda sprang forward throwing down her white Provence rose as she passed
Lady Bouchers compliments maam said the servant to Mrs Dumont shes in indispensable haste and she begs you wont let Miss Delacour think of changing her dress
It was the last thing of which Miss Delacour was likely to think at this instant She was so much overjoyed when she heard that Belinda was come by her mammas desire to take her home that she would scarcely stay whilst Mrs Dumont was tying on her straw hat and exhorting her to let Lady Delacour know how it happened that she was so far from fit to be seen
Yes maam yes maam Ill remember Ill be sure to remember said Helena tripping down the steps But just as she was getting into the carriage she stopped at the sight of the old man and exclaimed Oh good old man I must not forget you
Yes indeed you must though my dear Miss Delacour said Lady Boucher pulling her into the carriage tis no time to think of good old men now
But I must Dear Miss Portman will you speak for me I must pay—I must settle—and I have a great deal to say
Miss Portman desired the old man to call in Berkleysquare at Lady Delacours and this satisfying all parties they drove away
When they arrived in Berkleysquare Marriott told them that her lady was just gone to lie down Edward Percivals little journal which she had been reading was left on the sofa and Belinda gave it to Helena who eagerly began to look over it
Thirteen pages Oh how good he has been to write so much for me said she and she had almost finished reading it before her mother came into the room
Lady Delacour shrunk back as her daughter ran towards her for she recollected too well the agony she had once suffered from an embrace of Helenas The little girl appeared more grieved than surprised at this and after kissing her mothers hand without speaking she again looked down at the manuscript
Does that engross your attention so entirely my dear said Lady Delacour that you can neither spare one word nor one look for your mother
Oh mamma I only tried to read because I thought you were angry with me
An odd reason for trying to read my dear said Lady Delacour with a smile have you any better reason for thinking I was angry with you
Ah I know you are not angry now for you smile said Helena but I thought at first that you were mamma because you gave me only your hand to kiss
Only my hand The next time simpleton Ill give you only my foot to kiss said her ladyship sitting down and holding out her foot playfully
Her daughter threw aside the book and kneeling down kissed her foot saying in a low voice Dear mamma I never was so happy in my life for you never looked so very very kindly at me before
Do not judge always of the kindness people feel for you child by their looks and remember that it is possible a person might have felt more than you could guess by their looks Pray now Helena you are such a good judge of physiognomy should you guess that I was dying by my looks
The little girl laughed and repeated Dying Oh no mamma
Oh no because I have such a fine colour in my cheeks hey
Not for that reason mamma said Helena withdrawing her eyes from her mothers face
What then you know rouge already when you see it—You perceive some difference for instance between Miss Portmans colour and mine Upon my word you are a nice observer Such nice observers are sometimes dangerous to have near one
I hope mother said Helena that you do not think I would try to find out any thing that you wish or that I imagined you wished I should not know
I do not understand you child cried Lady Delacour raising herself suddenly upon the sofa and looking full in her daughters face
Helenas colour rose to her temples but with a firmness that surprised even Belinda she repeated what she had said nearly in the same words
Do you understand her Miss Portman said Lady Delacour
She expresses I think said Belinda a very honourable sentiment and one that is easily understood
Ay in general certainly said Lady Delacour checking herself but I thought that she meant to allude to something in particular—that was what I did not understand Undoubtedly my dear you have just expressed a very honourable sentiment and one that I should scarcely have expected from a child of your age
Helena my dear said her mother after a silence of some minutes did you ever read the Arabian Tales—Yes mamma I know must be the answer But do you remember the story of Zobeide who carried the porter home with her on condition that let him hear or see what he might he would ask no questions
Yes mamma
On the same conditions should you like to stay with me for a few days
Yes On any conditions mamma I should like to stay with you
Agreed then my dear said Lady Delacour Now let us go to the gold fishes and see them eat lemna or whatever you please to call it
While they were looking at the gold fishes the old man who had been desired by Miss Portman to call arrived Who is this fine grayhaired old man said Lady Delacour Helena who did not know the share which Belindas aunt and her own mother had in the transaction began with great eagerness to tell the history of the poor gardener who had been cheated by some fine ladies out of his aloe c She then related how kind Lady Anne Percival and her Aunt Margaret had been to him that they had gotten him a place as a gardener at Twickenham and that he had pleased the family to whom he was recommended so much by his good behaviour that as they were leaving their house and obliged to part with him they had given him all the geraniums and balsams out of the greenhouse of which he had the care and these he had been this day selling to the young ladies at Mrs Dumonts I received the money for him and I was just going to pay him said Helena when Miss Portman came and that put every thing else out of my head May I go and give him his money now mamma
He can wait a few minutes said Lady Delacour who had listened to this story with much embarrassment and impatience Before you go Helena favour us with the names of the fine ladies who cheated this old gardener out of his aloe
Indeed mamma I dont know their names
No—Did you never ask Lady Anne Percival or your aunt Margaret—Look in my face child Did they never inform you
No maam never I once asked Lady Anne and she said that she did not choose to tell me that it would be of no use to me to know
I give Lady Anne Percival more credit and more thanks for this cried Lady Delacour than for all the rest I see she has not attempted to lower me in my childs opinion I am the fine lady Helena—I was the cause of his being cheated—I was intent upon the noble end of outshining a certain Mrs Luttridge—the noble means I left to others and the means have proved worthy of the end I deserve to be brought to shame for my folly yet my being ashamed will do nobody any good but myself Restitution is in these cases the best proof of repentance Go Helena my love settle your little affairs with this old man and bid him call here again tomorrow I will see what we can do for him
Lord Delacour had this very morning sent home to her ladyship a handsome diamond ring which had been intended as a present for Mrs Luttridge and which he imagined would therefore be peculiarly acceptable to his lady In the evening when his lordship asked her how she liked the ring which he desired the jeweller to leave for her to look at it she answered that it was a handsome ring but that she hoped he had not purchased it for her
It is not actually bought my dear said his lordship but if it suits your fancy I hope you will do me the honour to wear it for my sake
I will wear it for your sake my lord said Lady Delacour if you desire it and as a mark of your regard it is agreeable but as to the rest—
My taste for diamonds now is oer
The sparkling baubles please no more
If you wish to do me a kindness I will tell you what I should like much better than diamonds though I know it is rather ungracious to dictate the form and fashion of a favour But as my dictatorship in all human probability cannot last much longer—
Oh my dear Lady Delacour I must not hear you talk in this manner your dictatorship as you call it will I hope last many many happy years But to the point—what should you like better my dear than this foolish ring
Her ladyship then expressed her wish that a small annuity might be settled upon a poor old man whom she said she had unwittingly injured She told the story of the rival galas and the aloe and concluded by observing that her lord was in some measure called upon to remedy part of the unnumbered ills which had sprung from her hatred of Mrs Luttridge as he had originally been the cause of her unextinguishable ire Lord Delacour was flattered by this hint and the annuity was immediately promised to the old gardener
In talking to this old man afterward Lady Delacour found that the family in whose service he lately lived had a house at Twickenham that would just answer her purpose Lord Delacours inquiries had hitherto been unsuccessful he was rejoiced to find what he wanted just as he was giving up the search The house was taken and the old man hired as gardener—a circumstance which seemed to give him almost as much pleasure as the annuity for there was a morello cherrytree in the garden which had succeeded the aloe in his affection it would have grieved him sorely he said to leave his favourite tree to strangers after all the pains he had been at in netting it to keep off the birds
As the period approached when her fate was to be decided Lady Delacours courage seemed to rise and at the same time her anxiety that her secret should not be discovered appeared to increase
If I survive this business said she it is my firm intention to appear in a new character or rather to assert my real character I will break through the spell of dissipation—I will at once cast off all the acquaintance that are unworthy of me—I will in one word go with you my dear Belinda to Mr Percivals I can bear to be mortified for my good and I am willing since I find that Lady Anne Percival has behaved generously to me with regard to Helenas affections I am willing that the recovery of my moral health should be attributed to the salubrious air of Oaklypark But it would be inexpressible intolerable mortification to me to have it said or suspected in the world of fashion that I retreated from the ranks disabled instead of disgusted A voluntary retirement is graceful and dignified a forced retreat is awkward and humiliating You must be sensible that I could not endure to have it whispered—Lady Delacour now sets up for being a prude because she can no longer be a coquette Lady Delacour would become the subject of witticisms epigrams caricatures without end It would just be the very thing for Mrs Luttridge then she would revenge herself without mercy for the ass and her panniers We should have Lord and Lady D—— or the Domestic Têteàtête or The Reformed Amazon stuck up in a printshop window Oh my dear think of seeing such a thing I should die with vexation and of all deaths that is the death I should like the least
Though Belinda could not entirely enter into those feelings which thus made Lady Delacour invent wit against herself and anticipate caricatures yet she did every thing in her power to calm her ladyships apprehension of a discovery
My dear said Lady Delacour I have perfect confidence in Lord Delacours promise and in his goodnature of which he has within these few days given me proofs that are not lost upon my heart but he is not the most discreet man in the world Whenever he is anxious about any thing you may read it a mile off in his eyes nose mouth and chin And to tell you all my fears in one word Marriott informed me this morning that the Luttridge who came from Harrowgate to Rantipole to meet Lord Delacour finding that there was no drawing him to her has actually brought herself to town
To town—At this strange time of year How will my lord resist this unequivocal unprecedented proof of passion If she catch hold of him again I am undone Or even suppose him firm as a rock her surprise her jealousy her curiosity will set all engines at work to find out by what witchcraft I have taken my husband from her Every precaution that prudence could devise against her malicious curiosity I have taken Marriott you know is above all temptation That vile wretch naming the person whose quack medicines had nearly destroyed her that vile wretch will be silent from fear for his own sake He is yet to be paid and dismissed That should have been done long ago but I had not money both for him and Mrs Franks the milliner She is now paid and Lord Delacour—I am glad to tell his friend how well he deserves her good opinion—Lord Delacour in the handsomest manner supplied me with the means of satisfying this man He is to be here at three oclock today and this is the last interview he will ever have with Lady Delacour in the mysterious boudoir
The fears which her ladyship expressed of Mrs Luttridges malicious curiosity were not totally without foundation Champfort was at work for her and for himself The memorable night of Lady Delacours overturn and the bustle that Marriott made about the key of the boudoir were still fresh in his memory and he was in hopes that if he could discover the mystery he should at once regain his power over Lord Delacour reinstate himself in his lucrative place and obtain a handsome reward or more properly speaking bribe from Mrs Luttridge The means of obtaining information of all that passed in Lady Delacours family were he thought still in his power though he was no longer an inmate of the house The stupid maid was not so stupid as to be impenetrable to the voice of flattery or as Mr Champfort called it the voice of love He found it his interest to court and she her pleasure to be courted On these coquettes of the second table on these underplots in the drama much of the comedy and some of the tragedy of life depend Under the unsuspected mask of stupidity this worthy mistress of our intriguing valetdechambre concealed the quick ears of a listener and the demure eyes of a spy Long however did she listen and long did she spy in vain till at last Mr Champfort gave her notice in writing that his love would not last another week unless she could within that time contrive to satisfy his curiosity and that in short she must find out the reason why the boudoir was always locked and why Mrs Marriott alone was to be trusted with the key Now it happened that this billetdoux was received on the very day appointed for Lady Delacours last interview with the quack surgeon in the mysterious boudoir Marriott as it was her custom upon such occasions let the surgeon in and showed him up the back stairs into the boudoir locked the door and bade him wait there till her lady came The man had not been punctual to the hour appointed and Lady Delacour giving up all expectation of his coming till the next day had retired to her bedchamber where she of late usually at this hour secluded herself to read methodistical books or to sleep Marriott when she went up to let her lady know that the person as she always called him was come found her so fast asleep that she thought it a pity to waken her as she had not slept at all the preceding night She shut the door very softly and left her lady to repose At the bottom of the stairs she was met by the stupid maid whom she immediately despatched with orders to wash some lace Your ladys asleep said she and pray let me have no running up and down stairs The room into which the stupid maid went was directly underneath the boudoir and whilst she was there she thought that she heard the steps of a mans foot walking over head She listened more attentively—she heard them again She armed herself with a glass of jelly in her hand for my lady and hurried up stairs instantly to my ladys room She was much surprised to see my lady fast asleep Her astonishment at finding that Mrs Marriott had told her the truth was such as for a moment to bereave her of all presence of mind and she stood with the door ajar in her hand As thus she stood she was roused by the sound of some one clearing his throat very softly in the boudoir—his throat for she recollected the footsteps she had heard before and she was convinced it could be no other than a masculine throat She listened again and stooped down to try whether any feet could be seen under the door As she was in this attitude her lady suddenly turned on her bed and the book which she had been reading fell from the pillow to the floor with a noise that made the listener start up instantaneously in great terror The noise however did not waken Lady Delacour who was in that dead sleep which is sometimes the effect of opium The noise was louder than what could have been made by the fall of a book alone and the girl descried a key that had fallen along with the book It occurred to her that this might possibly be the key of the boudoir From one of those irresistible impulses which some people make an excuse for doing whatever they please she seized it resolved at all hazards to open the mysterious door She was cautiously putting the key into the keyhole so as not to make the least noise when she was suddenly startled by a voice behind her which said Who gave you leave to open that door
She turned and saw Helena standing at the half open bedchamber door
Mercy Miss Delacour who thought of seeing you For Gods sake dont make a noise to waken my lady
Did my mother desire you to go into that room repeated Helena
Dear me no miss said the maid putting on her stupid face but I only thought to open the door to let in a little air to freshen the room which my lady always likes and bids me to do—and I thought—
Helena took the key gently from her hand without listening to any more of her thoughts and the woman left the room muttering something about jelly and my lady Helena went to the side of her mothers bed determined to wait there till she awakened then to give her the key and tell her the circumstance Notwithstanding the real simplicity of this little girls character she was as her mother had discovered a nice observer and she had remarked that her mother permitted no one but Marriott to go into the boudoir This remark did not excite her to dive into the mystery on the contrary she carefully repressed all curiosity remembering the promise she had given to her mother when she talked of Zobeide and the porter She had not been without temptation to break this promise for the maid who usually attended her toilette had employed every art in her power to stimulate her curiosity As she was dressing Helena this morning she had said to her The reason I was so late calling you miss this morning was because I was so late myself last night for I went to the play miss last night which was Bluebeard Lord bless us Im sure if I had been Bluebeards wife I should have opened the door if Id died for it for to have the notion of living all day long and all night too in a house in which there was a room that one was never to go into is a thing I could not put up with Then after a pause and after waiting in vain for some reply from Helena she added Pray Miss Delacour did you ever go into that little room within my ladys bedchamber that Mrs Marriott keeps the key of always
No said Helena
Ive often wondered whats in it but then thats only because Im a simpleton I thought to be sure you knew
Observing that Helena looked much displeased she broke off her speech hoping that what she had said would operate in due time and that she should thus excite the young lady to get the secret from Marriott which she had no doubt afterward of worming from Miss Delacour
In all this she calculated ill for what she had said only made Helena distrust and dislike her It was the recollection of this conversation that made her follow the maid to her mothers bedchamber to see what detained her there so long Helena had heard Marriott say that she ought not to run up and down stairs because her lady was asleep and it appeared extraordinary that but a few minutes after this information she should have gone into the room with a glass of jelly in her hand
Ah mamma thought Helena as she stood beside her mothers bed you did not understand and perhaps you did not believe me when I said that I would not try to find out any thing that you wished me not to know Now I hope you will understand me better
Lady Delacour opened her eyes Helena cried she starting up how came you by that key
Oh mother dont look as if you suspected me She then told her mother how the key came into her hands
My dear child you have done me an essential service said Lady Delacour you know not its importance at least in my estimation But what gives me infinitely more satisfaction you have proved yourself worthy of my esteem—my love
Marriott came into the room and whispered a few words to her lady
You may speak out Marriott before my Helena said Lady Delacour rising from the bed as she spoke child as she is Helena has deserved my confidence and she shall be convinced that where her mother has once reason to confide she is incapable of suspicion Wait here for a few minutes my dear
She went to her boudoir paid and dismissed the surgeon expeditiously then returned and taking her daughter by the hand she said You look all simplicity my dear I see you have no vulgar schoolgirl curiosity You will have all your mothers strength of mind may you never have any of her faults or any of her misfortunes I speak to you not as to a child Helena for you have reason far above your years and you will remember what I now say to you as long as you live You will possess talents beauty fortune you will be admired followed and flattered as I have been but do not throw away your life as I have thrown away mine—to win the praise of fools Had I used but half the talents I possess as I hope you will use yours I might have been an ornament to my sex—I might have been a Lady Anne Percival
Here Lady Delacours voice failed but commanding her emotion she in a few moments went on speaking
Choose your friends well my dear daughter It was my misfortune my folly early in life to connect myself with a woman who under the name of frolic led me into every species of mischief You are too young too innocent to hear the particulars of my history now but you will hear them all at a proper time from my best friend Miss Portman I shall leave you to her care my dear when I die
When you die—Oh mother said Helena but why do you talk of dying and she threw her arms round her mother
Gently my love said Lady Delacour shrinking back and she seized this moment to explain to her daughter why she shrunk in this manner from her caresses and why she talked of dying
Helena was excessively shocked
I wished my dear resumed her mother calmly I wished to have spared you the pain of knowing all this I have given you but little pleasure in my life it is unjust to give you so much pain We shall go to Twickenham tomorrow and I will leave you with your Aunt Margaret my dear till all is over If I die Belinda will take you with her immediately to Oaklypark—you shall have as little sorrow as possible If you had shown me less of your affectionate temper you would have spared yourself the anguish that you now feel and you would have spared me—
My dear kind mother interrupted Helena throwing herself on her knees at her mothers feet do not send me away from you—I dont wish to go to my Aunt Margaret—I dont wish to go to Oaklypark—I wish to stay with you Do not send me away from you for I shall suffer ten times more if I am not with you though I know I can be of no use
Overcome by her daughters entreaties Lady Delacour at last consented that she should remain with her and that she should accompany her to Twickenham
The remainder of this day was taken up in preparations for their departure The stupid maid was immediately dismissed No questions were asked and no reasons for her dismissal assigned except that Lady Delacour had no farther occasion for her services Marriott alone was to attend her lady to Twickenham Lord Delacour it was settled should stay in town lest the unusual circumstance of his attending his lady should excite public curiosity His lordship who was naturally a goodnatured man and who had been touched by the kindness his wife had lately shown him was in extreme agitation during the whole of this day which he thought might possibly be the last of her existence She on the contrary was calm and collected her courage seemed to rise with the necessity for its exertion
In the morning when the carriage came to the door as she parted with Lord Delacour she put into his hand a paper that contained some directions and requests with which she said she hoped that he would comply if they should prove to be her last The paper contained only some legacies to her servants a provision for Marriott and a bequest to her excellent and beloved friend Belinda Portman of the cabinet in which she kept Clarence Herveys letters
Interlined in this place Lady Delacour had written these words My daughter is nobly provided for and lest any doubt or difficulty should arise from the omission I think it necessary to mention that the said cabinet contains the valuable jewels left to me by my late uncle and that it is my intention that the said jewels should be part of my bequest to the said Belinda Portman—If she marry a man of good fortune she will wear them for my sake if she do not marry an opulent husband I hope she will sell the jewels without scruple as they are intended for her convenience and not as an ostentatious bequest It is fit that she should be as independent in her circumstances as she is in her mind
Lord Delacour with much emotion looked over this paper and assured her ladyship that she should be obeyed if—He could say no more
Farewell then my lord said she keep up your spirits for I intend to live many years yet to try them
CHAPTER XXII — A SPECTRE
The surgeon who was to attend Lady Delacour was prevented from going to her on the day appointed he was one of the surgeons of the queens household and his attendance was required at the palace This delay was extremely irksome to Lady Delacour who had worked up her courage to the highest point but who had not prepared herself to endure suspense She spent nearly a week at Twickenham in this anxious state and Belinda observed that she every day became more and more thoughtful and reserved She seemed as if she had some secret subject of meditation from which she could not bear to be distracted When Helena was present she exerted herself to converse in her usual sprightly strain but as soon as she could escape as she thought unobserved she would shut herself up in her own apartment and remain there for hours
I wish to Heaven Miss Portman said Marriott coming one morning into her room with a portentous face I wish to Heaven maam that you could any way persuade my lady not to spend so many hours of the day and night as she does in reading those methodistical books that she keeps to herself—Im sure that they do her no good but a great deal of harm especially now when her spirits should be kept up as much as possible I am sensible maam that tis those books that have made my lady melancholy of a sudden Maam my lady has let drop very odd hints within these two or three days and she speaks in a strange disconnected sort of style and at times I do not think she is quite right in her head
When Belinda questioned Marriott more particularly about the strange hints which her lady had let fall she with looks of embarrassment and horror declined repeating the words that had been said to her yet persisted in asserting that Lady Delacour had been very strange for these two or three days And Im sure maam youd be shocked if you were to see my lady in a morning when she wakens or rather when I first go into the room—for as to wakening thats out of the question I am certain she does not sleep during the whole night Youll find maam it is as I tell you those books will quite turn her poor head and I wish they were burnt I know the mischief that the same sort of things did to a poor cousin of my own who was driven melancholy mad by a methodist preacher and came to an untimely end Oh maam if you knew as much as I do youd be as much alarmed for my lady as I am
It was impossible to prevail upon Marriott to explain herself more distinctly The only circumstances that could be drawn from her seemed to Belinda so trifling as to be scarcely worth mentioning For instance that Lady Delacour contrary to Marriotts advice had insisted on sleeping in a bedchamber upon the ground floor and had refused to let a curtain be put up before a glass door that was at the foot of her bed When I offered to put up the curtain maam said Marriott my lady said she liked the moonlight and that she would not have it put up till the fine nights were over Now Miss Portman to hear my lady talk of the moon and moonlights and liking the moon is rather extraordinary and unaccountable for I never heard her say any thing of the sort in her life before I question whether she ever knew there was a moon or not from one years end to another But they say the moon has a great deal to do with mad people and from my own experience Im perfectly sensible maam it had in my own cousins case for before he came to the worst he took a prodigious fancy to the moon and was always for walking by moonlight and talking to one of the beauty of the moon and such melancholy nonsense maam
Belinda could not forbear smiling at this melancholy nonsense though she was inclined to be of Marriotts opinion about the methodistical books and she determined to talk to Lady Delacour on the subject The moment that she made the attempt her ladyship commanding her countenance with her usual ability replied only by cautious cold monosyllables and changed the conversation as soon as she could
At night when they were retiring to rest Marriott as she lighted them to their rooms observed that she was afraid her lady would suffer from sleeping in so cold a bedchamber and Belinda pressed her friend to change her apartment
No my dear replied Lady Delacour calmly I have chosen this for my bedchamber because it is at a distance from the servants rooms and when the operation which I have to go through shall be performed my cries if I should utter any will not be overheard The surgeon will be here in a few days and it is not worth while to make any change
The next day towards evening the surgeon and Dr X—— arrived Belindas blood ran cold at the sight of them
Will you be so kind Miss Portman said Marriott as to let my lady know that they are come for I am not well able to go and you can speak more composed to her than I can
Miss Portman went to Lady Delacours bedchamber The door was bolted As Lady Delacour opened it she fixed her eyes upon Belinda and said to her with a mild voice You are come to tell me that the surgeon is arrived I knew that by the manner in which you knocked at the door I will see him this moment continued she in a firm tone and she deliberately put a mark in the book which she had been reading walked leisurely to the other end of the room and locked it up in her bookcase There was an air of determined dignity in all her motions Shall we go I am ready said she holding out her hand to Belinda who had sunk upon a chair
One would think that you were the person that was going to suffer But drink this water my dear and do not tremble for me you see that I do not tremble for myself Listen to me dearest Belinda I owe it to your friendship not to torment you with unnecessary apprehensions Your humanity shall be spared this dreadful scene
No said Belinda Marriott is incapable of attending you I must—I will—I am ready now Forgive me one moments weakness I admire and will imitate your courage I will keep my promise
Your promise was to be with me in my dying moments and to let me breathe my last in your arms
I hope that I shall never be called upon to perform that promise
Lady Delacour made no answer but walked on before her with steady steps into the room where Dr X—— and the surgeon were waiting Without adverting in the least to the object of their visit she paid her compliments to them as if they came on a visit of mere civility Without seeming to notice the serious countenances of her companions she talked of indifferent subjects with the most perfect ease occupying herself all the time with cleaning a seal which she unhooked from her watchchain This seal said she turning to Dr X—— is a fine onyx—it is a head of Esculapius I have a great value for it It was given to me by your friend Clarence Hervey and I have left it in my will doctor continued she smiling to you as no slight token of my regard He is an excellent young man and I request said she drawing Dr X—— to a window and lowering her voice I request when you see him again and when I am out of the way that you will tell him such were my sentiments to the hour of my death Here is a letter which you will have the goodness to put into his hands sealed with my favourite seal You need have no scruple to take charge of it it relates not to myself It expresses only my opinion concerning a lady who stands almost as high in your esteem I believe as she does in mine My affection and my gratitude have not biassed my judgment in the advice which I have ventured to give to Mr Hervey
But he will soon be here interrupted Dr X—— and then—
And then I shall be gone said Lady Delacour coolly
To that undiscoverd country
From whose bourn no traveller returns
Dr X—— was going to interrupt her but she continued rapidly And now my dear doctor tell me candidly have you seen any symptoms of cowardice in my manner this evening
None replied he On the contrary I have admired your calm selfpossession
Then do not suspect me of want of fortitude when I request that this operation may not be performed today I have changed my mind within these few hours I have determined for a reason which I am sure that you would feel to be sufficient to postpone this affair till tomorrow Believe me I do not act from caprice
She saw that Dr X—— did not yield assent to her last assertion and that he looked displeased
I will tell you my reason said she and then you will have no right to be displeased if I persist as I shall inflexibly in my determination It is my belief that I shall die this night To submit to a painful operation today would be only to sacrifice the last moments of my existence to no purpose If I survive this night manage me as you please But I am the best judge of my own feelings—I shall die tonight
Dr X—— looked at her with a mixture of astonishment and Compassion Her pulse was high she was extremely feverish and he thought that the best thing which he could do was to stay with her till the next day and to endeavour to divert her mind from this fancy which he considered as an insane idea He prevailed upon the surgeon to stay with her till the next morning and he communicated his intentions to Belinda who joined with him in doing all that was possible to entertain and interest her by conversation during the remainder of the day She had sufficient penetration to perceive that they gave not the least faith to her prognostic and she never said one word more upon the subject but appeared willing to be amused by their attempts to divert her and resolute to support her courage to the last moment She did not affect trifling gaiety on the contrary there was in all she said more strength and less point than usual
The evening passed away and Lady Delacour seemed totally to have forgotten her own prophecy respecting the event of the ensuing night so much so that she spoke of several things that she intended to do the next day Helena knew nothing of what had passed and Belinda imagined that her friend put this constraint upon herself to avoid alarming her daughter Yet after Helena retired her mothers manner continued to be so much the same that Dr X—— began to believe that her ladyship was actuated merely by caprice In this opinion she confirmed him by bursting out a laughing when he proposed that some one should sit up with her during the night
My sage sir said she have you lived to this time without ever having been duped by a woman before I wanted a days reprieve and I have gained it—gained a day spent in most agreeable conversation for which I thank you Tomorrow said she turning to the surgeon I must invent some new excuse for my cowardice and though I give you notice of it beforehand as Harrington did when he picked the mans pocket yet nevertheless I shall succeed Good night
She hurried to her own apartment leaving them all in astonishment and perplexity Belinda was persuaded that she only affected this gaiety to prevent Dr X—— from insisting upon sitting up in her room as he had proposed Doctor X—— judging as he said from her ladyships general character attributed the whole to caprice and the surgeon judging as he said from human nature in general was decided in his belief that she had been influenced as she herself declared by cowardice After having all expressed their opinions without making any impression upon one another they retired to rest
Belindas bedchamber was next to Helenas and after she had been in bed about an hour she fancied that she heard some one walking softly in the next room She rose and found Lady Delacour standing beside her daughters bed She started at the sight of Belinda but only said in a low voice as she pointed to her child Dont waken her She then looked at her for some moments in silence The moon shone full upon her face She stooped over Helena parted the ringlets of hair upon her forehead and kissed her gently
You will be good to this poor girl when I am gone Belinda said she turning away from her as she spoke I only came to look at her for the last time
Are you then serious my dear Lady Delacour
Hush Dont waken her said Lady Delacour putting her finger on her lips and walking slowly out of the room she forbade Belinda to follow
If my fears be vain said she why should I disturb you with them If they be just you will hear my bell ring and then come to me
For some time afterward all was perfectly silent in the house Belinda did not go to bed but sat waiting and listening anxiously The clock struck two and as she heard no other sound she began to hope that she had suffered herself to be falsely alarmed by a foolish imagination and she lay down upon her bed resolving to compose herself to rest She was just sinking to sleep when she thought she heard the faint sound of a bell She was not sure whether she was dreaming or awake She started up and listened All was silent But in a fewminutes Lady Delacours bell rang violently Belinda flew to her room The surgeon was already there he had been sitting up in the next room to write letters and he had heard the first sound of the bell Lady Delacour was senseless supported in the surgeons arms Belinda by his directions ran immediately for Doctor X—— who was at the other end of the house Before she returned Lady Delacour had recovered her senses She begged that the surgeon would leave the room and that neither Dr X—— nor Marriott might be yet admitted as she had something of importance to communicate to Miss Portman The surgeon withdrew and she beckoned to Belinda who sat down upon the side of her bed Lady Delacour held out her hand to her it was covered with a cold dew
My dear friend said she my prophecy is accomplishing—I know I must die
The surgeon said that you were not in the least danger my dear Lady Delacour that it was merely a fainting fit Do not suffer a vain imagination thus to overpower your reason
It is no vain imagination—I must die said Lady Delacour
I hear a voice you cannot hear
Which says I must not stay
I see a hand you cannot see
Which beckons me away
You perceive that I am in my perfect senses my dear or I could not quote poetry I am not insane—I am not delirious
She paused—I am ashamed to tell you what I know will expose me to your ridicule
Ridicule cried Belinda can you think me so cruel as to consider your sufferings a subject for ridicule
Lady Delacour was overcome by the tenderness with which Belinda spoke
I will then speak to you said she without reserve Inconsistent as it is with the strength of mind which you might expect from me I cannot resist the impression which has been made on my mind by—a vision
A vision
Three times continued Lady Delacour it has appeared to me about this hour The first night after we came here I saw it last night it returned and tonight I have beheld it for the third time I consider it as a warning to prepare for death You are surprised—you are incredulous I know that this must appear to you extravagant but depend upon it that what I tell you is true It is scarcely a quarter of an hour since I beheld the figure of —— that man for whose untimely death I am answerable Whenever I close my eyes the same form appears before me
These visions said Belinda are certainly the effects of opium
The forms that flit before my eyes when I am between sleeping and waking said Lady Delacour I am willing to believe are the effects of opium but Belinda it is impossible I should be convinced that my senses have deceived me with respect to what I have beheld when I have been as broad awake and in as perfect possession of my understanding as I am at this instant The habits of my life and the natural gaiety not to say levity of my temper have always inclined me rather to incredulity than to superstition But there are things which no strength of mind no temerity can resist I repeat it—this is a warning to me to prepare for death No human means no human power can save me
Here they were interrupted by Marriott who could no longer be restrained from bursting into the room Dr X—— followed and going calmly to the side of Lady Delacours bed took her hand to feel her pulse
Mrs Marriott you need not alarm yourself in this manner said he your lady is at this instant in as little danger as I am
You think shell live Oh my lady why did you terrify us in this manner
Lady Delacour smiled and calmly said as Doctor X—— still continued to count her pulse The pulse may deceive you doctor but I do not Marriott you may—
Belinda heard no more for at this instant as she was standing alone near the glassdoor that was opposite to the bed she saw at a distance in the garden the figure which Lady Delacour had described Lady Delacour was now so intent upon speaking to Dr X—— that she saw nothing but him Belinda had the presence of mind to be perfectly silent The figure stood still for some moments She advanced a few steps nearer to the window and the figure vanished She kept her eye steadily fixed upon the spot where it had disappeared and she saw it rise again and glide quickly behind some bushes Belinda beckoned to Dr X—— who perceived by the eagerness of her manner that she wished to speak to him immediately He resigned his patient to Marriott and followed Miss Portman out of the room She told him what she had just seen said it was of the utmost consequence to Lady Delacour to have the truth ascertained and requested that Dr X——would go with some of the menservants and search the garden to discover whether any one was there concealed or whether any footsteps could be traced The doctor did not search long before he perceived footsteps in the borders opposite to the glassdoor of Lady Delacours bedchamber he was carefully following their track when he heard a loud cry which seemed to come from the other side of the garden wall There was a breach in the wall over which he scrambled with some difficulty The screams continued with redoubled violence As he was making his way to the spot from which they proceeded he was met by the old gardener who was crossing one of the walks with a lantern in his hand
Ho ho cried the gardener I take it that we have the thief at last I fancy that the fellow whose footsteps I traced and who has been at my morello cherrytree every night has been caught in the trap I hope his leg is not broke thoughThis way sir—this way
The gardener led the doctor to the place and there they found a man whose leg had actually been caught in the springtrap which had been set for the defence of the cherrytree The man had by this time fallen into a swoon they extricated him as fast as possible and Doctor X—— had him brought to Lady Delacours in order that the surgeon who was there might see his leg
As they were carrying him across the hall Belinda met them She poured out a glass of water for the man who was just recovering from his swoon but as she went nearer to give it him she was struck with his wonderful resemblance to Harriot Freke
It must be Mrs Freke herself whispered she to Marriott whose wide opening eyes at this instant fixed themselves upon her
It must be Mrs Freke herself maam repeated Marriott
And so in fact it was
There is a certain class of people who are incapable of generous confidence in their equals but who are disposed to yield implicit credit to the underhand information of mean emissaries Through the medium of Champfort and the stupid maid Mrs Freke had learned a confused story of a mans footsteps having been heard in Lady Delacours boudoir of his being let in by Marriott secretly of his having remained locked up there for several hours and of the maids having been turned away merely because she innocently went to open the door whilst the gentleman was in concealment Mrs Freke was farther informed by the same unquestionable authority that Lady Delacour had taken a house at Twickenham for the express purpose of meeting her lover that Miss Portman and Marriott were the only persons who were to be of this party of pleasure
Upon the faith of this intelligence Mrs Freke who had accompanied Mrs Luttridge to town immediately repaired to Twickenham to pay a visit to a third cousin that she might have an opportunity of detecting the intrigues and afterwards of publishing the disgrace of her former friend The desire of revenging herself upon Miss Portman for having declined her civilities at Harrowgate had also a powerful influence in stimulating her malicious activity She knew that if it were proved that Belinda was the confidante of Lady Delacours intrigues her reputation must be materially injured and that the Percivals would then be as desirous to break off as they now were anxious to promote the match with Mr Vincent Charmed with this hope of a double triumph the vindictive lady commenced her operations nor was she ashamed to descend to the character of a spy The general and convenient name of frolic she thought would cover every species of meanness She swore that it was charming fun to equip herself at night in mens clothes and to sally forth to reconnoitre the motions of the enemy
By an unfrequented path she used to gain the window that looked into Lady Delacours bedchamber This was the figure which appeared at night at a certain hour and which to her ladyships disturbed imagination seemed to be the form of Colonel Lawless There was indeed a resemblance in their size and persons which favoured the delusion For several nights Mrs Freke paid these visits without obtaining any satisfaction but this night she thought herself overpaid for her exertions by the charming discovery which she fancied she had made She mistook the surgeon for a lover of Lady Delacours and she was hurrying home with the joyful intelligence when she was caught in the gardeners trap The agony that she suffered was at first intense but in a few hours the pain somewhat subsided and in this interval of rest she turned to Belinda and with a malicious smile said—Miss Portman tis fair I should pay for my peeping but I shall not pay quite so dear for it as some of my friends
Miss Portman did not in the least comprehend her till she added Im sure youll allow that tis better for a lady to lose her leg than her reputation—and for my part Id rather be caught in a man trap than have a man caught in my bedchamber My service to your friend Lady Delacour and tell her so
And do you know who that gentleman was that you saw in her ladyships room
Not I not yet but Ill make it my business to find out I give you fair notice Im a very devil when provoked Why didnt you make me your friend when you could—Youll not baffle me I have seen all I wanted and I am capable of painting all I saw As to who the man might be thats no matter one Lothario is as good as another for my purpose
Longer had Mrs Freke spoken with malignant triumph had she not been interrupted by a burst of laughter from the surgeon Her vexation was indescribable when he informed her that he was the man whom she had seen in Lady Delacours bedchamber and whom she had mistaken for a favoured lover
Mrs Frekes leg was much cut and bruised and now that she was no longer supported by the hopes of revenge she began to lament loudly and incessantly the injury that she had sustained She impatiently inquired how long it was probable that she should be confined by this accident and she grew quite outrageous when it was hinted that the beauty of her legs would be spoiled and that she would never more be able to appear to advantage in mans apparel The dread of being seen by Lady Delacour in the deplorable yet ludicrous situation to which she had reduced herself operated next upon her mind and every time the door of the apartment opened she looked with terror towards it expecting to see her ladyship appear But though Lady Delacour heard from Marriott immediately the news of Mrs Frekes disaster she never disturbed her by her presence She was too generous to insult a fallen foe
Early in the morning Mrs Freke was by her own desire conveyed to her cousins house where without regret we shall leave her to suffer the consequences of her frolic
A false prophetess Nowithstanding all my visions I have outlived the night you see said Lady Delacour to Miss Portman when they met in the morning I have heard my dear Belinda and I believe that the passion of love which can endure caprice vice wrinkles deformity poverty nay disease itself is notwithstanding so squeamish as to be instantaneously disgusted by the perception of folly in the object beloved I hope friendship though akin to love is of a more robust constitution else what would become of me My folly and my visions and my spectre—oh that I had not exposed myself to you in this manner Harriot Freke herself is scarcely more contemptible Spies and cowards are upon an equal footing Her malice and her frolic are consistent with her character but my fears and my superstition are totally inconsistent with mine Forget the nonsense I talked to you last night my dear or fancy that I was then under the dominion of laudanum This morning you shall see Lady Delacour herself again Is Dr X—— is the surgeon ready Where are they I am prepared My fortitude shall redeem me in your opinion Belinda and in my own
Doctor X—— and the surgeon immediately obeyed her summons
Helena heard them go into Lady Delacours room and she saw by Marriotts countenance who followed that her mother was going to submit to the operation She sat down trembling on the steps which led to her mothers room and waited there a long time as she thought in the most painful suspense At last she heard some one call Helena She looked up and saw her father close to her
Helena said he how is your mother
I dont know Oh papa you cannot go in there now said Helena stopping him as he was pressing forwards
Why did not you or Miss Portman write to me yesterday as you promised said Lord Delacour in a voice that showed he was scarcely able to ask the question
Because papa we had nothing to tell you nothing was done yesterday But the surgeon is now there said Helena pointing towards her mothers room
Lord Delacour stood motionless for an instant then suddenly seizing his daughters hand Let us go said he if we stay here we shall hear her screams and he was hurrying her away when the door of Lady Delacours apartment opened and Belinda appeared her countenance radiant with joy
Good news dear Helena Oh my lord you are come in a happy moment—I give you joy
Joy joy joy cried Marriott following
Is it all over said Lord Delacour
And without a single shriek said Helena What courage
Theres no need of shrieks or courage either thank God said Marriott Dr X—— says so and he is the best man in the world and the cleverest And I was right from the first I said it was impossible my lady should have such a shocking complaint as she thought she had Theres no such thing at all in the case my lord I said so always till I was persuaded out of my senses by that villainous quack who contradicted me for this own molument And Doctor X—— says if my lady will leave off the terrible quantities of laudanum she takes hell engage for her recovery
The surgeon and Dr X—— now explained to Lord Delacour that the unprincipled wretch to whom her ladyship had applied for assistance had persuaded her that she had a cancer though in fact her complaint arose merely from the bruise which she had received He knew too well how to make a wound hideous and painful and so continue her delusion for his own advantage Dr X—— observed that if Lady Delacour would have permitted either the surgeon or him to have examined sooner into the real state of the case it would have saved herself infinite pain and them all anxiety Belinda at this moment felt too much to speak
Im morally certain cried Marriott Mr Champfort would die with vexation if he could see the joy thats painted in my lords face this minute And we may thank Miss Portman for this for twas she made every thing go right and I never expected to live to see so happy a day
Whilst Marriott ran on in this manner with all the volubility of joy Lord Delacour passed her with some difficulty and Helena was in her mothers arms in an instant
Lady Delacour struck to the heart by their affectionate looks and words burst into tears How little have I deserved this kindness from you my lord or from you my child But my feelings added she wiping away her tears shall not waste themselves in tears nor in vain thanks My actions the whole course of my future life shall show that I am not quite a brute Even brutes are won by kindness Observe my lord continued she smiling I said won not tamed—A tame Lady Delacour would be a sorry animal not worth looking at Were she even to become domesticated she would fare the worse
How so—How so my dear said Lord Delacour and Belinda almost in the same breath
How so—Why if Lady Delacour were to wash off her rouge and lay aside her air and be as gentle good and kind as Belinda Portman for instance her lord would certainly say to her
So alterd are your face and mind
Twere perjury to love you now
CHAPTER XXIII — THE CHAPLAIN
In some minds emotions of joy are always connected with feelings of benevolence and generosity Lady Delacours heart expanded with the sensations of friendship and gratitude now that she was relieved from those fears by which she had so long been oppressed
My dear daughter said she to Helena have you at this instant any wish that I can gratify—Ask any thing you please the fairy Goodwill shall contrive to get it for you in a trice You have thought of a wish at this moment I know by your eyes by your blush Nay do not hesitate Do you doubt me because I do not appear before you in the shape of a little ugly woman like Cinderellas godmother or do you despise me because you do not see a wand waving in my hand—Ah little skilled of fairy lore know that I am in possession of a talisman that can command more than ever fairy granted Behold my talisman continued she drawing out her purse and showing the gold through the network Speak boldly then cried she to Helena and be obeyed
Ah mamma said Helena I was not thinking of what fairies or gold can give but you can grant my wish and if you will let me I will whisper it to you
Lady Delacour stooped to hear her daughters whisper
Your wish is granted my own grateful charming girl said her mother
Helenas wish was that her mother could be reconciled to her good aunt Margaret Delacour
Her ladyship sat down instantly and wrote to Mrs Delacour Helena was the bearer of this letter and Lady Delacour promised to wait upon this excellent old lady as soon as she should return to town
In the meantime her ladyships health rapidly improved under the skilful care of Dr X—— it had been terribly injured by the ignorance and villany of the wretch to whom she had so long and so rashly trusted The nostrums which he persuaded her to take and the immoderate use of opium to which she accustomed herself would have ruined her constitution had it not been uncommonly strong Dr X—— recommended it to her ladyship to abstain gradually from opium and this advice she had the resolution to follow with uninterrupted perseverance
The change in Lady Delacours manner of life in the hours and the company that she kept contributed much to her recovery9 She was no longer in continual anxiety to conceal the state of her health from the world She had no secret to keep—no part to act her reconciliation with her husband and with his friends restored her mind to ease and selfcomplacency Her little Helena was a source of daily pleasure and no longer conscious of neglecting her daughter she no longer feared that the affections of her child should be alienated Dr X—— well aware that the passions have a powerful influence over the body thought it full as necessary in some cases to attend to the mind as to the pulse By conversing with Lady Delacour and by combining hints and circumstances he soon discovered what had lately been the course of her reading and what impression it had made on her imagination Mrs Marriott indeed assisted him with her opinion concerning the methodistical books and when he recollected the forebodings of death which her ladyship had felt and the terror with which she had been seized on the night of Mrs Frekes adventure he was convinced that superstitious horrors hung upon his patients spirits and affected her health To argue on religious subjects was not his province much less his inclination but he was acquainted with a person qualified by his profession and his character to minister to a mind diseased and he resolved on the first favourable opportunity to introduce this gentleman to her ladyship
One morning Lady Delacour was complaining to Belinda that the books in the library were in dreadful confusion My lord has really a very fine library said she but I wish he had half as many books twice as well arranged I never can find any thing I want Dr X—— I wish to heaven you could recommend a librarian to my lord—not a chaplain observe
Why not a chaplain may I ask your ladyship said the doctor
Oh because we had once a chaplain who gave me a surfeit of the whole tribe The meanest sycophant yet the most impertinent busybody—always cringing yet always intriguing—wanting to govern the whole family and at the same time every creatures humble servant—fawning to my lord the bishop insolent to the poor curate—anathematizing all who differed from him in opinion yet without dignity to enforce the respect due to his faith or his profession—greedy for preferment yet without a thought of the duties of his office It was the common practice of this man to leap from his horse at the church door on a holiday after following a pack of hounds huddle on his surplice and gabble over the service with the most indecent mockery of religion Do I speak with acrimony I have reason It was this chaplain who first led my lord to Newmarket it was he who first taught my lord to drink Then he was a wit—an insufferable wit His conversation after he had drank was such as no woman but Harriot Freke could understand and such as few gentlemen could hear I have never alas been thought a prude but in the heyday of my youth and gaiety this man always disgusted me In one word he was a buck parson I hope you have as great a horror for this species of animal as I have
Full as great replied Dr X—— but I consider them as monsters which belonging to no species can disgrace none
They ought to be hunted by common consent out of civilized society said Lady Delacour
They are by public opinion banished from all rational society and your ladyships just indignation proves that they have no chance of being tolerated by fashion But would it not allow such beings too much consequence would it not extend their power to do mischief if we perceived that one such person could disgust Lady Delacour with the whole race of chaplains
It is uncommon replied her ladyship to hear a physician earnest in the defence of the clergy—and a literary philosophic physician too Shall we have an eulogium upon bishops as well as chaplains
We have had that already replied Dr X—— All ranks persuasions and descriptions of people including I hope those stigmatized by the name of philosophers have joined in admiration of the bishop of St Pol de Leon The conduct of the real martyrs to their faith amongst the French clergy not even the most witty or brutal sceptic could ridicule
You surprise me doctor said Lady Delacour for I assure you that you have the character of being very liberal in your opinions
I hope I am liberal in my opinions replied the doctor and that I give your ladyship a proof of it
You would not then persecute a man or woman with ridicule for believing more than you do said Lady Delacour
Those who persecute to overturn religion can scarcely pretend to more philosophy or more liberality than those who persecute to support it said Dr X——
Perhaps doctor you are only speaking popularly
I believe what I now say to be true said Dr X—— and I always endeavour to make truth popular
But possibly these are only truths for ladies Doctor X—— may be such an ungallant philosopher as to think that some truths are not fit for ladies He may hold a different language with gentlemen
I should not only be an ungallant but a weak philosopher said Dr X—— if I thought that truth was not the same for all the world who can understand it And who can doubt Lady Delacours being of that number
Lady Delacour who at the beginning of this conversation had spoken guardedly from the fear of lowering the doctors opinion of her understanding was put at her ease by the manner in which he now spoke and half laying aside the tone of raillery she said to him Well doctor seriously I am not so illiberal as to condemn all chaplains for one odious as he was But where to find his contrast in these degenerate days Can you who are a defender of the faith and so forth assist me Will you recommend a chaplain to my lord
Willingly said Dr X—— and that is what I would not say for a world of fees unless I were sure of my man
What sort of a man is he
Not a buck parson
And I hope not a pedant not a dogmatist for that would be almost as bad Before we domesticate another chaplain I wish to know all his qualities and to have a full and true description of him
Shall I then give you a full and true description of him in the words of Chaucer
In any words you please But Chaucers chaplain must be a little oldfashioned by this time I should think
Pardon me Some people as well as some things never grow oldfashioned I should not be ashamed to produce Chaucers parish priest at this day to the best company in England—I am not ashamed to produce him to your ladyship and if I can remember twenty lines in his favour I hope you will give me credit for being a sincere friend to the worthy part of the clergy Observe you must take them as I can patch them together I will not promise that I can recollect twenty lines de suite and without missing a word that is what I would not swear to do for His Grace the Archbishop of Canterbury
His Grace will probably excuse you from swearing at least I will said Lady Delacour on the present occasion so now for your twenty lines in whatever order you please
Doctor X—— with sundry intervals of recollection which may be spared the reader repeated the following lines
Yet has his aspect nothing of severe
But such a face as promised him sincere
Nothing reserved or sullen was to see
But sweet regards and pleasing sanctity
Mild was his accent and his action free
With eloquence innate his tongue was armd
Though harsh the precept yet the preacher charmd
For letting down the golden chain from high
He drew his audience upwards to the sky
He taught the Gospel rather than the law
And forced himself to drive but loved to draw
The tithes his parish freely paid he took
But never sued or cursd with bell and book
Wide was his parish not contracted close
In streets—but here and there a straggling house
Yet still he was at hand without request
To serve the sick and succour the distressed
The proud he tamed the penitent he cheerd
Nor to rebuke the rich offender feard
His preaching much but more his practice wrought
A living sermon of the truths he taught
Lady Delacour wished that she could find a chaplain who in any degree resembled this charming parish priest and Dr X——promised that he would the next day introduce to her his friend Mr Moreton
Mr Moreton said Belinda the gentleman of whom Mr Percival spoke Mrs Frekes Mr Moreton
Yes said Dr X—— the clergyman whom Mrs Freke hanged in effigy and to whom Clarence Hervey has given a small living
These circumstances even if he had not precisely resembled Chaucers character of a benevolent clergyman would have strongly interested Lady Delacour in his favour She found him upon farther acquaintance a perfect contrast to her former chaplain and he gradually acquired such salutary influence over her mind that he relieved her from the terrors of methodism and in their place substituted the consolations of mild and rational piety
Her conscience was now at peace her spirits were real and equable and never was her conversation so agreeable Animated with the new feelings of returning health and the new hopes of domestic happiness she seemed desirous to impart her felicity to all around her but chiefly to Belinda who had the strongest claims upon her gratitude and the warmest place in her affections Belinda never made her friend feel the weight of any obligation and consequently Lady Delacours gratitude was a voluntary pleasure—not an expected duty Nothing could be more delightful to Miss Portman than thus to feel herself the object at once of esteem affection and respect to see that she had not only been the means of saving her friends life but that the influence she had obtained over her mind was likely to be so permanently beneficial both to her and to her family
Belinda did not take all the merit of this reformation to herself she was most willing to share it in her own imagination not only with Dr X——and Mr Moreton but with poor Clarence Hervey She was pleased to observe that Lady Delacour never omitted any occasion of doing justice to his merit and she loved her for that generosity which sometimes passed the bounds of justice in her eulogiums But Belinda was careful to preserve her consistency and to guard her heart from the dangerous effect of these enthusiastic praises and as Lady Delacour was now sufficiently reestablished in her health she announced her intention of returning immediately to Oaklypark according to her promise to Lady Anne Percival and to Mr Vincent
But my dear said Lady Delacour one week more is all I ask from you—may not friendship ask such a sacrifice from love
You expect I know said Miss Portman ingenuously that before the end of that time Mr Hervey will be here
True And have you no friendship for him said Lady Delacour with an arch smile or is friendship for every man in the creation one Augustus Vincent always excepted prohibited by the statutes of Oaklypark
By the statutes of Oaklypark nothing is forbidden said Belinda but what reason—
Reason Oh I have done if you go to reason You are invulnerable to the light shafts of wit I know when you are cased in this heavy armour of reason Cupid himself may strain his bow and exhaust his quiver upon you in vain But have a care—you cannot live in armour all your life—lay it aside but for a moment and the little bold urchin will make it his prize Remember in one of Raphaels pictures Cupid creeping into the armour of the conqueror of the world
I am sufficiently aware said Belinda smiling of the power of Cupid and of his wiles I would not brave his malice but I will fly from it
It is so cowardly to fly
Surely prudence not courage is the virtue of our sex and seriously my dear Lady Delacour I entreat you not to use your influence over my mind lest you should lessen my happiness though you cannot alter my determination
Moved by the earnest manner in which Belinda uttered these words Lady Delacour rallied her no more nor did she longer oppose her resolution of returning immediately to Oaklypark
May I remind you said Miss Portman though it is seldom either politic or polite to remind people of their promises—but may I remind you of something like a promise you made to accompany me to Mr Percivals
And would you have me behave so brutally to poor Lord Delacour as to run away from him in this manner the moment I have strength to run
Lord Delacour is included in this invitation said Miss Portman putting the last letter that she had received from Lady Anne Percival into her hands
When I recollect said Lady Delacour as she looked over the letter how well this Lady Anne of yours has behaved to me about Helena when I recollect that though you have been with her so long she has not supplanted me in your affections and that she did not attempt to detain you when I sent Marriott to Oaklypark and when I consider how much for my own advantage it will be to accept this invitation I really cannot bring myself from pride or folly or any other motive to refuse it So my dear Belinda prevail upon Lord Delacour to spend his Christmas at Oaklypark instead of at Studleymanor Rantipole thank Heaven is out of the question and prevail upon yourself to stay a few days for me and you shall take us all with you in triumph
Belinda was convinced that when Lady Delacour had once tasted the pleasures of domestic life she would not easily return to that dissipation which she had followed from habit and into which she had first been driven by a mixture of vanity and despair All the connexions which she had imprudently formed with numbers of fashionable but extravagant and thoughtless women would insensibly be broken off by this measure for Lady Delacour who was already weary of their company would be so much struck with the difference between their insipid conversation and the animated and interesting society in Lady Anne Percivals family that she would afterwards think them not only burdensome but intolerable Lord Delacours intimacy with Lord Studley was one of his chief inducements to that intemperance which injured almost equally his constitution and his understanding for some weeks past he had abstained from all excess and Belinda was well aware that when the immediate motive of humanity to Lady Delacour ceased to act upon him he would probably return to his former habits if he continued to visit his former associates It was therefore of importance to break at once his connexion with Lord Studley and to place him in a situation where he might form new habits and where his dormant talents might be roused to exertion She was convinced that his understanding was not so much below par as she had once been taught to think it she perceived also that since their reconciliation Lady Delacour was anxious to make him appear to advantage whenever he said any thing that was worth hearing she looked at Belinda with triumph and whenever he happened to make a mistake in conversation she either showed involuntary signs of uneasiness or passed it off with that easy wit by which she generally knew how to make the worse appear the better reason Miss Portman knew that Mr Percival possessed the happy talent of drawing out all the abilities of those with whom he conversed and that he did not value men merely for their erudition science or literature he was capable of estimating the potential as well as the actual range of the mind Of his generosity she could not doubt and she was persuaded that he would take every possible means which good nature joined to good sense could suggest to raise Lord Delacour in his ladys esteem and to make that union happy which was indissoluble All these reflections passed with the utmost rapidity in Belindas mind and the result of them was that she consented to wait Lady Delacours leisure for her journey
CHAPTER XXIV — PEU À PEU
Things were in this situation when one day Marriott made her appearance at her ladys toilette with a face which at once proclaimed that something had discomposed her and that she was impatient to be asked what it was
What is the matter Marriott said Lady Delacour for I know you want me to ask
Want you to ask Oh dear my lady no—for Im sure its a thing that goes quite against me to tell for I thought indeed my lady superiorly of the person in question so much so indeed that I wished what I declare I should now be ashamed to mention especially in the presence of Miss Portman who deserves the best that this world can afford of every denomination Well maam in one word continued she addressing herself to Belinda I am extremely rejoiced that things are as they are though I confess that was not always my wish or opinion for which I beg Mr Vincents pardon and yours but I hope to be forgiven since Im now come entirely round to my Lady Anne Percivals way of thinking which I learnt from good authority at Oaklypark and I am now convinced and confident Miss Portman that every thing is for the best
Marriott will inform us in due course of time what has thus suddenly and happily converted her said Lady Delacour to Belinda who was thrown into some surprise and confusion by Marriotts address but Marriott went on with much warmth—
Dear me Im sure I thought we had got rid of all doubledealers when the house was cleared of Mr Champfort but oh mercy theres not traps enough in the world for them all I only wish they were all caught as finely as some people were Tis what all doubledealers and Champfort at the head of the whole regiment deserve—thats certain
We must take patience my dear Belinda said Lady Delacour calmly till Marriott has exhausted all the expletives in and out of the English language and presently when she has fought all her battles with Champfort over again we may hope to get at the fact
Dear my lady it has nothing to do with Mr Champfort nor any such style of personage I can assure you for Im positive Id rather think contemptibly of a hundred million Mr Champforts than of one such gentleman as Mr Clarence Hervey
Clarence Hervey exclaimed Lady Delacour taking it for granted that Belinda blushed her ladyship with superfluous address instantly turned so as to hide her friends face from Mrs Marriott Well Marriott what of Mr Hervey
Oh my lady something youll be surprised to hear and Miss Portman too It is not by any means that I am more of a prude than is becoming my lady nor that I take upon me to be so innocent as not to know that young gentlemen of fortune will if it be only for fashions sake have such things as kept mistresses begging pardon for mentioning such trash but no one that has lived in the world thinks any thing of that except added she catching a glimpse of Belindas countenance except to be sure maam morally speaking its very wicked and shocking and makes one blush before company till ones used to it and ought certainly to be put down by act of parliament maam but my lady you know in point of surprising any body or being discreditable in a young gentleman of Mr Herveys fortune and pretensions it would be mere envy and scandal to deem it any thing—worth mentioning
Then for mercys sake or mine said Lady Delacour go on to something that is worth mentioning
Well my lady you must know then that yesterday I wanted some hempseed for my bullfinch—Miss Helenas bullfinch I mean for it was she found it by accident you know Miss Portman the day after we came here Poor thing it got itself so entangled in the net over the morello cherry tree in the garden that it could neither get itself in nor out but very luckily Miss Helena saw it and saved and brought it in it was almost dead my lady
Was it—I mean I am very sorry for it that is what you expect me to say Now go on—get us once past the bullfinch or tell us what it has to do with Clarence Hervey
That is what I am aiming at as fast as possible my lady So I sent for some hempseed for the bullfinch and along with the hempseed they brought me wrapped round it as it were a printed handbill as it might be or advertisement which I threw off disregardingly taking for granted it might have been some of those advertisements for lozenges or razorstrops that meet one wherever one goes but Miss Delacour picked it up and found it was a kind of hue and cry after a stolen or strayed bullfinch Maam I was so provoked I could have cried when I learnt it was the exact description of our little Bobby to a feather—gray upon the back and red on——
Oh spare me the description to a feather Well you took the bird bullfinch or Bobby as you call it home to its rightful owner I presume Let me get you so far on your way
No I beg your pardon my lady that is not the thing
Then you did not take the bird home to its owner—and you are a birdstealer With all my heart be a dogstealer if you will—only go on
But my lady you hurry me so it puts every thing topsyturvy in my head I could tell it as fast as possible my own way
Do so then
I was ready to cry when I found our little Bobby was claimed from us to be sure but Miss Delacour observed that those with whom it had lived till it was grey must be sorrier still to part with it so I resolved to do the honest and genteel thing by the lady who advertised for it and to take it back myself and to refuse the five guineas reward offered The ladys name according to the advertisement was Ormond
Ormond repeated Lady Delacour looking eagerly at Belinda was not that the name Sir Philip Baddely mentioned to us—you remember
Yes Ormond was the name as well as I recollect said Belinda with a degree of steady composure that provoked her ladyship Go on Marriott
And the words were to leave the bird at a perfumers in Twickenham opposite to —— but thats no matter Well my lady to the perfumers I went with the bird this morning Now I had my reasons for wishing to see this Mrs Ormond myself because my lady there was one thing rather remarkable about this bullfinch that it sings a very particular tune which I never heard any bullfinch or any human creature sing anything like before so I determined in my own cogitations to ask this Mrs Ormond to name the tunes her bullfinch could sing before I produced it and if she made no mention of its knowing any one out of the common way I resolved to keep my bird to myself as I might very conscientiously and genteelly too So my lady when I got to the perfumers I inquired where Mrs Ormond was to be found I was told that she received no visits from any at least from the female sex and that I must leave the bird there till called for I was considering what to do and the strangeness of the information made about the female sex when in there came into the shop a gentleman who saved me all the indelicacy of asking particulars The bullfinch was at this time piping away at a fine rate and as luck would have it that very remarkable strange tune that I mentioned to you Says the gentleman as he came into the shop fixing his eyes on the bullfinch as if they would have come fairly out of his head How did that bird come here—I brought it here sir said I Then he began to offer me mountains of gold in a very strange way if I could tell him any tidings of the lady to whom it belonged The shopman from behind the counter now bent forward and whispered the gentleman that he could give him some information if he would make it worth his while and they both went together to a little parlour behind the shop and I saw no more of them But my lady very opportunely for me that was dying with curiosity out of the parlour they turned a young woman in to attend the shop who proved to be an acquaintance of mine whom I had done some little favours to when in service in London And this young woman when I told her my distress about the advertisement and the bullfinch let me into the whole of the affair Maam said she all that is known about Mrs Ormond in this house or any where else is from me so there was no occasion for turning me out of the parlour I lived with Mrs Ormond maam says she for half a year in the very house she now occupies and consequently nobody can be better informed than I am—to which I agreed Then she told me that the reason that Mrs Ormond never saw any company of any sort was because she is not fit to see company—proper company—for shes not a proper woman She has a most beautiful young creature there shut up who has been seduced and is now deserted in a most cruel manner by a Mr Hervey Oh my lady how the name struck upon my ear I hoped however it was not our Mr Hervey but it was the identical Mr Clarence Hervey I made the young woman describe him for she had often and often seen him when he visited the unfortunate creature and the description could suit none but our Mr Hervey and besides it put it beyond a doubt she told me his linen was all marked C H So our Mr Hervey maam added Marriott turning to Belinda it certainly proved to be to my utter dismay and confusion
Oh Marriott my poor head exclaimed Lady Delacour starting from under her hands that cruel comb went at least half an inch into my head—heads have feeling as well as hearts believe me And as she spoke she snatched out the comb with which Marriott had just fastened up her hair and flung it on a sofa at some yards distance While Marriott went to fetch it Lady Delacour thought that Belinda would have time to recover from that utter dismay and confusion into which she hoped that she must now be thrown Come Marriott make haste I have done you at least a great favour for you have all this hair to perform upon again and you will have leisure to finish this story of yours—which at all events if it is not in any other respect wonderful we must allow is wonderfully long
Well my lady to be short then—I was more curious than ever when I heard all this to hear more and asked my friend how she could ever think of staying in a house with ladies of such a description Upon which she justified herself by assuring me upon her honour that at first she believed the young lady was married privately to Mr Hervey for that a clergyman came in secret and read prayers and she verily believes that the unfortunate young creature was deceived barbarously and made to fancy herself married to all intents and purposes till all at once Mr Hervey threw off the mask and left off visiting her pretending a necessity to take a journey and handing her over to that vile woman that Mrs Ormond who bid her to be comforted and all the things that are said by such women on such occasions by all accounts But the poor deluded young thing saw how it was now too plain and she was ready to break her heart but not in a violent common sort of way maam but in silent grief pining and drooping My friend could not stand the sight nor endure to look upon Mrs Ormond now she knew what she was and so she left the house without giving any reason immediately I forgot to mention that the unfortunate girls maiden name was St Pierre my lady but her Christian name which was rather an out o the way name I quite forget
No matter said Lady Delacour we can live without it or we can imagine it
To be sure—I beg pardon such sort of peoples names cant be of any consequence and Im sure I blame myself now for going to the house after all I had heard
You did go to the house then
To my shame be it spoken my curiosity got the better of me and I went—but only on account of the bullfinch in the eyes of the world It was a great while before I could get in but I was so firm that I would not give up the bird to no one but the lady herself that I got in at last Oh never did my eyes light upon so beautiful a creature nor so graceful nor so innocent to look at—Belinda sighed—Marriott echoed the sigh and continued She was by herself and in tears when I was shown in maam and she started as if she had never seen any body before in her life But when she saw the bullfinch maam she clapped her hands and smiling through her tears like a child she ran up to me and thanked me again and again kissing the bird between times and putting it into her bosom Well I declare if she had talked to all eternity she could never have made me pity her half so much as all this did for it looked so much like innocence Im sure nobody that was not—or at least that did not think themselves innocent could have such ways and such an innocent affection for a little bird Not but what I know ladies of a certain description often have birds but then their fondness is all affectation and fashion but this poor thing was all nature Ah poor unfortunate girl thought I—but its no matter what I thought now said Marriott shutting her eyes to hide the tears that came into them at this instant I was ashamed of myself when I saw Mrs Ormond just then come into the room which made me recollect what sort of company I was in La my lady how I detested the sight of her She looked at me too more like a dragon than any thing else though in a civil way and as if she was frightened out of her wits she asked Miss St Pierre as she called her how I had got in in a whisper and she made all sorts of signs afterward to her to go out of the room Never having been in such a situation before I was quite robbed of all fluency and could not—what with the anger I felt for the one and sorrow for the other—get out a word of common sense or even recollect what pretence brought me into the room till the bird very luckily put it into my head by beginning to sing so then I asked whether they could certify it to be theirs by any particular tune of its own Oh yes said Miss St Pierre and she sung the very same tune I never heard so sweet a voice but poor thing something came across her mind in the middle of it and she stopped but she thanked me again for bringing back the bird which she said had been hers for a great many years and that she loved it dearly I stood I believe like one stupified till I was roused by the womans offering to put the five guineas reward mentioned in the advertisement into my hand The touch of her gold made me start as if it had been a snake and I pushed it from me and when she pressed it again I threw it on the table scarce knowing what I did and just then in her iniquitous hand I saw a letter directed to Clarence Hervey Esq Oh how I hated the sight of his name and every thing belonging to him maam at that minute Im sure I could not have kept myself from saying something quite outrageous if I had not taken myself out of the house as I did that instant
When there are women enough born and bred good for nothing and ladies enough to flirt with that would desire no better that a gentleman like Mr Clarence Hervey maam should set his wits as one may say to be the ruin of such a sweet innocentlooking young creature and then desert her in that barbarous way after bringing a clergyman to deceive her with a mock ceremony and all—oh there is no fashion nor nothing can countenance such wickedness tis the worst of wickedness and cruelty—and I shall think and say so to the latest hour of my life
Well said Marriott cried Lady Delacour
And now you know the reason maam added Marriott that I said I was glad things are as they are To be sure I and every body once thought—but thats all over now—and I am glad things are as they are
Lady Delacour once more turned her quick eyes upon Belinda and was much pleased to see that she seemed to sympathize with Marriotts indignation
In the evening when they were alone Lady Delacour touched upon the subject again and observed that as they should now in all probability see Mr Hervey in a few days they might be able to form a better judgment of this affair which she doubted not had been exaggerated You should judge from the whole of Clarences conduct and character and not from any particular part said her ladyship Do not his letters breathe a spirit of generosity
But interrupted Miss Portman I am not called upon to judge of Mr Herveys whole conduct and character nor of any part of it his letters and his generosity are nothing—
To you said Lady Delacour with a smile
This is no time and no subject for raillery my dear friend said Belinda you assured me and I believed you that the idea of Mr Herveys return was entirely out of the question when you prevailed upon me to delay my journey to Oaklypark As I now understand that your ladyship has changed your mind I must request your ladyship will permit me—
I will permit you to do what you please dearest Belinda except to call me your ladyship twice in one sentence You shall go to Oaklypark the day after tomorrow will that content you my dear I admire your strength of mind—you are much fitter to conduct yourself than I am to conduct you I have done with raillery my first my only object is your happiness I respect and esteem as much as I love you and I love you better than any thing upon earth—power excepted you will say—power not excepted believe me and if you are one of those strange people that cannot believe without proof you shall have proof positive upon the spot added she ringing the bell as she spoke I will no longer contend for power over your mind with your friends at Oaklypark I will give orders in your presence to Marriott to prepare for our march—I did not call it retreat but there is nothing shows so much generalship as a good retreat unless it be a great victory I am I confess rather prejudiced in favour of victory
So am I said Belinda with a smile I am so strongly prejudiced in favour of victory that rather than obtain no other I would even be content with a victory over myself
Scarcely had Belinda pronounced these words when Lord Delacour who had dined in town entered the room accompanied by Mr Vincent
Give me leave Lady Delacour to introduce to you said his lordship a young gentleman who has a great and I am sure a most disinterested desire to cultivate your ladyships further acquaintance
Lady Delacour received him with all the politeness imaginable and even her prepossessions in favour of Clarence Hervey could not prevent her from being struck with his appearance Il a infiniment lair dun héros de roman thought she and Belinda is not quite so great a philosopher as I imagined In due time her ladyship recollected that she had orders to give to Marriott about her journey that made it absolutely necessary she should leave Miss Portman to entertain Mr Vincent if possible without her for a few minutes and Lord Delacour departed contenting himself with the usual excuse of—letters to write
I ought to be delighted with your gallantry Mr Vincent said Belinda in travelling so many miles to remind me of my promise about Oaklypark but on the contrary I am sorry you have taken so much unnecessary trouble Lady Delacour is at this instant preparing for our journey to Mr Percivals We intend to set out the day after tomorrow
I am heartily glad of it—I shall be infinitely overpaid for my journey by having the pleasure of going back with you
After some conversation upon different subjects Mr Vincent with an air of frankness which was peculiarly pleasing to Belinda put into her hands an anonymous letter which he had received the preceding day
It is not worth your reading said he but I know you too well to fear that it should give you any pain and I hope you know me too well to apprehend that it could make any impression on my mind
Belinda read with some surprise—
Rash young man beware of connecting yourself with the lady to whom you have lately been drawn in to pay your addresses she is the most artful of women She has been educated as you may find upon inquiry by one whose successful trade it has been to draw in young men of fortune for her nieces whence she has obtained the appellation of the matchmaker general The only niece whom she could not get rid of any other way she sent to the most dissipated and unprincipled viscountess in town The viscountess fell sick and as it was universally reported last winter the young lady was immediately upon her friends death to have been married to the viscount widower But the viscountess detected the connexion and the young lady to escape from her friends rage and from public shame was obliged to retreat to certain shades in the neighbourhood of Harrowgate where she passed herself for a saint upon those who were too honourable themselves to be suspicious of others
At length the quarrel between her and the viscountess was made up by her address and boldness in declaring that if she was not recalled she would divulge some secrets respecting a certain mysterious boudoir in her ladyships house this threat terrified the viscountess who sent off express for her late discarded humble companion The quarrel was hushed up and the young lady is now with her noble friend at Twickenham The person who used to be let up the private stairs into the boudoir by Mrs Marriott is now more conveniently received at Twickenham
Much more was said by the letterwriter in the same strain The name of Clarence Hervey in the last page caught Belindas eye and with a trepidation which she did not feel at the beginning of this epistle she read the conclusion
The viscount is not supposed to have been unrivalled in the young ladys favour A young gentleman of large fortune great talents and uncommon powers of pleasing has for some months been her secret object but he has been prudent enough to escape her matrimonial snares though he carries on a correspondence with her through the means of her friend the viscountess to whom he privately writes The noble lady has bargained to make over to her confidante all her interest in Herveys heart He is expected every day to return from his tour and if the schemes upon him can be brought to bear the promised return to the neighbourhood of Harrowgate will never be thought of Mr Vincent will be left in the lurch he will not even have the ladys fair hand—her fair heart is Clarence Herveys at all events Further particulars shall be communicated to Mr Vincent if he pays due attention to this warning from
A SINCERE FRIEND
As soon as Belinda had finished this curious production she thanked Mr Vincent with more kindness than she had ever before shown him for the confidence he placed in her and for the openness with which he treated her She begged his permission to show this letter to Lady Delacour though he had previously dreaded the effect which it might have upon her ladyships feelings
Her first exclamation was This is one of Harriot Frekes frolics but as her ladyships indignation against Mrs Freke had long since subsided into utter contempt she did not waste another thought upon the writer of this horrible letter but instantly the whole energy of her mind and fire of her eloquence burst forth in an eulogium upon her friend Careless of all that concerned herself she explained without a moments hesitation every thing that could exalt Belinda she described all the difficult circumstances in which her friend had been placed she mentioned the secret with which she had been intrusted the honour with which even at the hazard of her own reputation she had kept her promise of secrecy inviolable when Lord Delacour in a fit of intoxication and jealousy had endeavoured to wrest from Marriott the key of the mysterious boudoir She confessed her own absurd jealousy explained how it had been excited by the artifices of Champfort and Sir Philip Baddely how slight circumstances had worked her mind up almost to frenzy The temper the dignity the gentleness the humanity with which Belinda bore with me during this paroxysm of madness said Lady Delacour I never can forget nor the spirit with which she left my house when she saw me unworthy of her esteem and ungrateful for her kindness nor the magnanimity with which she returned to me when I thought myself upon my deathbed all this has made an impression upon my soul which never whilst I have life and reason can be effaced She has saved my life She has made my life worth saving She has made me feel my own value She has made me know my own happiness She has reconciled me to my husband She has united me with my child She has been my guardian angel—She the confidante of my intrigues—she leagued with me in vice—No I am bound to her by ties stronger than vice ever felt than vice even in the utmost ingenuity of its depravity can devise
Exhausted by the vehemence with which she had spoken Lady Delacour paused but Vincent who sympathized in her enthusiasm kept his eyes fixed upon her in hopes that she had yet more to say
I might perhaps you will think continued she smiling have spared you this history of myself and of my own affairs Mr Vincent but I thought it necessary to tell you the plain facts which malice has distorted into the most odious form This is the quarrel this is the reconciliation of which your anonymous friend has been so well informed Now as to Clarence Hervey
I have explained to Mr Vincent interrupted Belinda every thing that he could wish to know on that subject and I now wish you to tell him that I faithfully remembered my promise to return to Oaklypark and that we were actually preparing for the journey
Look here sir cried Lady Delacour opening the door of her dressingroom in which Marriott was upon her knees locking a trunk heres dreadful note of preparation
You are a happier man than you yet know Mr Vincent continued Lady Delacour for I can tell you that some persuasion some raillery and some wit I flatter myself have been used to detain Miss Portman from you
From Oaklypark interrupted Belinda
From Oaklypark c a few days longer Shall I be frank with you Mr Vincent—Yes for I cannot help it—I am not of the nature of anonymous letterwriters I cannot either secretly or publicly sign or say myself a sincere friend without being one to the utmost extent of my influence I never give my vote without my interest nor my interest without my vote Now Clarence Hervey is my friend Start not at all sir—you have no reason for if he is my friend Miss Portman is yours which has the better bargain But as I was going to tell you Mr Clarence Hervey is my friend and I am his My vote interest and influence have consequently been all in his favour I had reason to believe that he has long admired the dignity of Miss Portmans mind and the simplicity of her character continued her ladyship with an arch look at Belinda and though he was too much a man of genius to begin with the present tense of the indicative mood I love yet I was and am convinced that he does love her
Can you dear Lady Delacour cried Belinda speak in this manner and recollect all we heard from Marriott this morning And to what purpose all this
To what purpose my dear To convince your friend Mr Vincent that I am neither fool nor knave but that I deal fairly by you by him and by all the world Mr Herveys conduct towards Miss Portman has I acknowledge sir been undecided Some circumstances have lately come to my knowledge which throw doubts upon his honour and integrity—doubts which I firmly believe he will clear up to my satisfaction at least as soon as I see him or as soon as it is in his power with this conviction and believing as I do that no man upon earth is so well suited to my friend—pardon me Mr Vincent if my wishes differ from yours though my sincerity may give you present it may save you from future pain
Your ladyships sincerity whatever pain it may give me I admire said Mr Vincent with some pride in his manner but I see that I must despair of the honour of your ladyships congratulations
Pardon me interrupted Lady Delacour there you are quite mistaken the man of Belindas choice must receive my congratulations he must do more—he must become my friend I would never rest till I had won his regard nor should I in the least be apprehensive that he would not have sufficient greatness of mind to forgive my having treated him with a degree of sincerity which the common forms of politeness cannot justify and at which common souls would be scandalized past recovery
Mr Vincents pride was entirely vanquished by this speech and with that frankness by which his manners were usually characterized he thanked her for having distinguished him from common souls and assured her that such sincerity as hers was infinitely more to his taste than that refined politeness of which he was aware no one was more perfect mistress than Lady Delacour
Here their conversation ended and Mr Vincent as it was now late took his leave
Really my dear Belinda said Lady Delacour when he was gone I am not surprised at your impatience to return to Oaklypark I am not so partial to my knight as to compare him in personal accomplishments with your hero I acknowledge also that there is something vastly prepossessing in the frankness of his manners he has behaved admirably well about this abominable letter but what is better than all in a ladys eyes he is éperdument amoureux
Not éperdument I hope said Belinda
Then as you do not think it necessary for your hero to be éperdument amoureux I presume said Lady Delacour you do not think it necessary that a heroine should be in love at all So love and marriage are to be separated by philosophy as well as by fashion This is Lady Anne Percivals doctrine I give Mr Percival joy I remember the time when he fancied love essential to happiness
I believe he not only fancies but is sure of it now from experience said Belinda
Then he interdicts love only to his friends He does not think it essential that you should know any thing about the matter You may marry his ward and welcome without being in love with him
But not without loving him said Belinda
I am not casuist enough in these matters to understand the subtle distinction you make with the true Percival emphasis between loving and falling in love But I suppose I am to understand by loving loving as half the world do when they marry
As it would be happy for half the world if they did replied Belinda mildly but with a firmness of tone that her ladyship felt I should despise myself and deserve no pity from any human being if after all I have seen I could think of marrying for convenience or interest
Oh pardon me I meant not to insinuate such an idea even your worst enemy Sir Philip Baddely would acquit you there I meant but to hint my dear Belinda that a heart such as yours is formed for love in its highest purest happiest state
A pause ensued
Such happiness can be secured only resumed Belinda by a union with a man of sense and virtue
A man of sense and virtue I suppose means Mr Vincent said Lady Delacour no doubt you have lately learned in the same sober style that a little love will suffice with a great deal of esteem
I hope I have learned lately that a great deal of esteem is the best foundation for a great deal of love
Possibly said Lady Delacour but we often see people working at the foundation all their lives without getting any farther
And those who build their castles of happiness in the air said Belinda are they more secure wiser or happier
Wiser I know nothing about that said Lady Delacour but happier I do believe they are for the castlebuilding is always a labour of love but the foundation of drudgery is generally loves labour lost Poor Vincent will find it so
Perhaps not said Belinda for already his solid good qualities—
Solid good qualities interrupted Lady Delacour I beg your pardon for interrupting you but my dear you know we never fall in love with good qualities except indeed when they are joined to an aquiline nose—oh that aquiline nose of Mr Vincents I am more afraid of it than of all his solid good qualities He has again I acknowledge it much the advantage of Clarence Hervey in personal accomplishments But you are not a woman to be decided by personal accomplishments
And you will not allow me to be decided by solid good qualities said Belinda So by what must I be determined
By your heart my dear by your heart trust your heart only
Alas said Belinda how many many women have deplored their having trusted to their hearts only
Their hearts but I said your heart mind your pronouns my dear that makes all the difference But to be serious tell me do you really and bona fide as my old uncle the lawyer used to say love Mr Vincent
No said Belinda I do not love him yet
But for that emphatic yet how I should have worshipped you I wish I could once clearly understand the state of your mind about Mr Vincent and then I should be able to judge how far I might indulge myself in raillery without being absolutely impertinent So without intruding upon your confidence tell me whatever you please
I will tell you all I know of my own mind replied Belinda looking up with an ingenuous countenance I esteem Mr Vincent I am grateful to him for the proofs he has given me of steady attachment and of confidence in my integrity I like his manners and the frankness of his temper but I do not yet love him and till I do no earthly consideration could prevail upon me to marry him
Perfectly satisfactory my dear Belinda and yet I cannot be quite at ease whilst Mr Vincent is present and my poor Clarence absent proximity is such a dangerous advantage even with the wisest of us The absent lose favour so quickly in Cupids court as in all other courts and they are such victims to false reports and vile slanderers
Belinda sighed
Thank you for that sigh my dear said Lady Delacour May I ask would you if you discovered that Mr Vincent had a Virginia discard him for ever from your thoughts
If I discovered that he had deceived and behaved dishonourably to any woman I certainly should banish him for ever from my regard
With as much ease as you banished Clarence Hervey
With more perhaps
Then you acknowledge—thats all I want—that you liked Clarence better than you do Vincent
I acknowledge it said Belinda colouring up to her temples but that time is entirely past and I never look back to it
But if you were forced to look back to it my dear—if Clarence Hervey proposed for you—would not you cast a lingering look behind
Let me beg of you my dear Lady Delacour as my friend cried Belinda speaking and looking with great earnestness let me beg of you to forbear Do not use your powerful influence over my heart to make me think of what I ought not to think or do what I ought not to do I have permitted Mr Vincent to address me You cannot imagine that I am so base as to treat him with duplicity or that I consider him only as a pisaller no—I have treated I will treat him honourably He knows exactly the state of my mind He shall have a fair trial whether he can win my love the moment I am convinced that he cannot succeed I will tell him so decidedly but if ever I should feel for him that affection which is necessary for my happiness and his I hope I shall without fear even of Lady Delacours ridicule or displeasure avow my sentiments and abide by my choice
My dear I admire you said Lady Delacour but I am incorrigible I am not fit to hear myself convinced After all I am impelled by the genius of imprudence to tell you that in spite of Mr Percivals cure for first loves I consider love as a distemper that can be had but once
As you acknowledge that you are not fit to hear yourself convinced said Belinda I will not argue this point with you
But you will allow said Lady Delacour as it is said or sung in Cupids calendar that—
Un peu damour un peu de soin
Menent souvent un coeur bien loin
and she broke off the conversation by singing that beautiful French air
CHAPTER XXV — LOVE ME LOVE MY DOG
The only interest that honest people can take in the fate of rogues is in their detection and punishment the reader then will be so far interested in the fate of Mr Champfort as to feel some satisfaction at his being safely lodged in Newgate The circumstance which led to this desirable catastrophe was the anonymous letter to Mr Vincent From the first moment that Marriott saw or heard of the letter she was convinced she said that Mr Champfort was at the bottom of it Lady Delacour was equally convinced that Harriot Freke was the author of the epistle and she supported her opinion by observing that Champfort could neither write nor spell English Marriott and her lady were both right It was a joint or rather a triplicate performance Champfort in conjunction with the stupid maid furnished the intelligence which Mrs Freke manufactured and when she had put the whole into proper style and form Mr Champfort got her rough draught fairly copied at his leisure and transmitted his copy to Mr Vincent Now all this was discovered by a very slight circumstance The letter was copied by Mr Champfort upon a sheet of mourning paper off which he thought that he had carefully cut the edges but one bit of the black edge remained which did not escape Marriotts scrutinizing eye Lord bless my stars my lady she exclaimed this must be the paper—I mean may be the paper—that Mr Champfort was cutting a quire of the very day before Miss Portman left town Its a great while ago but I remember it as well as if it was yesterday I saw a parcel of black jags of paper littering the place and asked what had been going on and was told that it was only Mr Champfort who had been cutting some paper which to be sure I concluded my lord had given to him having no further occasion for—as my lord and you my lady were just going out of mourning at that time as you may remember
Lord Delacour when the paper was shown to him recognized it immediately by a private mark which he had put on the outside sheet of a division of letter paper which indeed he had never given to Champfort but which he had missed about the time Marriott mentioned Between the leaves of this paper his lordship had put as it was often his practice some bank notes they were notes but of small value and when he missed them he was easily persuaded by Champfort that as he had been much intoxicated the preceding night he had thrown them away with some useless papers He rummaged through his writingdesk in vain and then gave up the search It was true that on this very occasion he gave Champfort the remainder of some mourning paper which he made no scruple therefore of producing openly Certain that he could swear to his own private mark and that he could identify his notes by their numbers c of which he had luckily a memorandum Lord Delacour enraged to find himself both robbed and duped by a favourite servant in whom he had placed implicit confidence was effectually roused from his natural indolence he took such active and successful measures that Mr Champfort was committed to gaol to take his trial for the robbery To make peace for himself he confessed that he had been instigated by Mrs Freke to get the anonymous letter written This lady was now suffering just punishment for her frolics and Lady Delacour thought her fallen so much below indignation that she advised Belinda to take no manner of notice of her conduct except by simply returning the letter to her with Miss Portmans Mr Vincents and Lord and Lady Delacours compliments and thanks to a sincere friend who had been the means of bringing villany to justice
So much for Mrs Freke and Mr Champfort who both together scarcely deserve an episode of ten lines
Now to return to Mr Vincent Animated by fresh hope he pressed his suit with Belinda with all the ardour of his sanguine temper Though little disposed to fear any future evil especially in the midst of present felicity yet he was aware of the danger that might ensue to him from Clarence Herveys arrival he was therefore impatient for the intermediate day to pass and it was with heartfelt joy that he saw the carriages at last at the door which were actually to convey them to Oaklypark Mr Vincent who had all the West Indian love for magnificence had upon this occasion an extremely handsome equipage Lady Delacour though she was disappointed by Clarence Herveys not appearing did not attempt to delay their departure She contented herself with leaving a note to be delivered to him on his arrival which she still flattered herself would induce him immediately to go to Harrowgate The trunks were fastened upon the carriages the imperial was carrying out Marriott was full of a world of business Lord Delacour was looking at his horses as usual Helena was patting Mr Vincents great dog and Belinda was rallying her lover upon his taste for the pomp pride and circumstance of glorious travelling—when an express arrived from Oaklypark It was to delay their journey for a few weeks Mr Percival and Lady Anne wrote word that they were unexpectedly called from home by— Lady Delacour did not stay to read by what or by whom she was so much delighted by this reprieve Mr Vincent bore the disappointment as well as could be expected particularly when Belinda observed to comfort him that the mind is its own place and that hers she believed would be the same at Twickenham as at Oaklypark Nor did she give him any reason to regret that she was not immediately under the influence of his own friends The dread of being unduly biassed by Lady Delacour and the strong desire Belinda felt to act honourably by Mr Vincent to show him that she was not trifling with his happiness and that she was incapable of the meanness of retaining a lover as a pisaller were motives which acted more powerfully in his favour than all that even Lady Anne Percival could have looked or said The contrast between the openness and decision of his conduct towards her and Clarence Herveys vacillation and mystery the belief that Mr Hervey was or ought to be attached to another woman the conviction that Mr Vincent was strongly attached to her and that he possessed many of the good qualities essential to her happiness operated every day more and more strongly upon Belindas mind
Where was Clarence Hervey all this time Lady Delacour alas could not divine She every morning was certain that he would appear that day and every night she was forced to acknowledge her mistake No inquiries—and she had made all that could be made by address and perseverance—no inquiries could clear up the mystery of Virginia and Mrs Ormond and her impatience to see her friend Clarence every hour increased She was divided between her confidence in him and her affection for Belinda unwilling to give him up yet afraid to injure her happiness or to offend her by injudicious advice and improper interference One thing kept Lady Delacour for some time in spirits—Miss Portmans assurance that she would not bind herself by any promise or engagement to Mr Vincent even when decided in his favour and that she should hold both him and herself perfectly free till they were actually married This was according to Lady Anne and Mr Percivals principles and Lady Delacour was never tired of expressing directly or indirectly her admiration of the prudence and propriety of their doctrine
Lady Delacour recollected her own promise to give her sincere congratulations to the victorious knight and she endeavoured to treat Mr Vincent with impartiality She was however now still less inclined to like him from a discovery which she accidentally made of his being still upon good terms with odious Mrs Luttridge Helena one morning was playing with Mr Vincents large dog of which he was excessively fond It was called Juba after his faithful servant
Helena my dear said Lady Delacour take care dont trust your hand in that creatures monstrous mouth
I can assure your ladyship cried Mr Vincent that he is the very quietest and best creature in the world
No doubt said Belinda smiling since he belongs to you for you know as Mr Percival tells you every thing animate or inanimate that is under your protection you think must be the best of its kind in the universe
But really Juba is the best creature in the world repeated Mr Vincent with great eagerness Juba is without exception the best creature in the universe
Juba the dog or Juba the man said Belinda you know they cannot be both the best creatures in the universe
Well Juba the man is the best man—and Juba the dog is the best dog in the universe said Mr Vincent laughing with his usual candour at his own foible when it was pointed out to him But seriously Lady Delacour you need not be in the least afraid to trust Miss Delacour with this poor fellow for do you know during a whole month that I lent him to Mrs Luttridge at Harrowgate she used constantly to let him sleep in the room with her and now whenever he sees her he licks her hand as gently as if he were a lapdog and it was but yesterday when I had him there she declared he was more gentle than any lapdog in London
At the name of Luttridge Lady Delacour changed countenance and she continued silent for some time Mr Vincent attributing her sudden seriousness to dislike or fear of his dog took him out of the room
My dear Lady Delacour said Belinda observing that she still retained an air of displeasure I hope your antipathy to odious Mrs Luttridge does not extend to every body who visits her
Tout au contraire cried Lady Delacour starting from her reverie and assuming a playful manner I have made a general gaoldelivery of all my old hatreds and even odious Mrs Luttridge though a hardened offender must be included in this act of grace so you need not fear that Mr Vincent should fall under my royal displeasure for consorting with this state criminal Though I cant sympathize with him I forgive him both for liking that great dog and that little woman especially as I shrewdly suspect that he likes the ladys E O table better than the lady
E O table Good Heavens you do not imagine Mr Vincent——
Nay my dear dont look so terribly alarmed I assure you I did not mean to hint that there was any serious improper attachment to the E O table only a little flirtation perhaps to which his passion for you has doubtless put a stop
Ill ask him the moment I see him cried Belinda if he is fond of play I know he used to play at billiards at Oaklypark but merely as an amusement Games of address are not to be put upon a footing with games of hazard
A man may however contrive to lose a good deal of money at billiards as poor Lord Delacour can tell you But I beseech you my dear do not betray me to Mr Vincent ten to one I am mistaken for his great dog put me out of humour——
But with such a doubt upon my mind unsatisfied——
It shall be satisfied Lord Delacour shall make inquiries for me Lord Delacour shall make inquiries did I say—will I should have said If Champfort had heard me to what excellent account he might have turned that unlucky shall What a nice grammarian a woman had need to be who would live well with a husband inferior to her in understanding With a superior or an equal she might use shall and will as inaccurately as she pleases Glorious privilege How I shall envy it you my dear Belinda But how can you ever hope to enjoy it Where is your superior Where is your equal
Mr Vincent who had by this time seen his dog fed which was one of his daily pleasures returned and politely assured Lady Delacour that Juba should not again intrude To make her peace with Mr Vincent and to drive the E O table from Belindas thoughts her ladyship now turned the conversation from Juba the dog to Juba the man She talked of Harriot Frekes phosphoric Obeah woman of whom she said she had heard an account from Miss Portman From thence she went on to the African slave trade by way of contrast and she finished precisely where she intended and where Mr Vincent could have wished by praising a poem called The dying Negro which he had the preceding evening brought to read to Belinda This praise was peculiarly agreeable because he was not perfectly sure of his own critical judgment and his knowledge of English literature was not as extensive as Clarence Herveys a circumstance which Lady Delacour had discovered one morning when they went to see Popes famous villa at Twickenham Flattered by her present confirmation of his taste Mr Vincent readily complied with a request to read the poem to Belinda They were all deeply engaged by the charms of poetry when they were suddenly interrupted by the entrance of—Clarence Hervey
The book dropped from Vincents hand the instant that he heard his name Lady Delacours eyes sparkled with joy Belindas colour rose but her countenance maintained an expression of calm dignity Mr Hervey upon his first entrance appeared prepared to support an air of philosophic composure which forsook him before he had walked across the room He seemed overpowered by the kindness with which Lady Delacour received his congratulations on her recovery—struck by the reserve of Belindas manner—but not surprised or displeased at the sight of Mr Vincent On the contrary he desired immediately to be introduced to him with the air of a man resolute to cultivate his friendship Provoked and perplexed Lady Delacour in a tone of mingled reproach and astonishment exclaimed Though you have not done me the honour Mr Hervey to take any other notice of my last letter I am to understand I presume by the manner in which you desire me to introduce you to our friend Mr Vincent that it has been received
Received Good Heavens have not you had my answer cried Clarence Hervey with a voice and look of extreme surprise and emotion Has not your ladyship received a packet
I have had no packet—I have had no letter Mr Vincent do me the favour to ring the bell cried Lady Delacour eagerly Ill know this instant whats become of it
Your ladyship must have thought me— and as he spoke his eye involuntarily glanced towards Belinda
No matter what I thought you cried Lady Delacour who forgave him every thing for this single glance if I did you a little injustice Clarence when I was angry you must forgive me for I assure you I do you a great deal of justice at other times
Did any letter any packet come here for me Inquire inquire said she impatiently to the servant who came in No letter or packet was to be heard of It had been directed Mr Hervey now remembered to her ladyships house in town She gave orders to have it immediately sent for but scarcely had she given them when turning to Mr Hervey she laughed and said A very foolish compliment to you and your letter for you certainly can speak as well as you can write nay better I think—though you dont write ill neither—but you can tell me in two words what in writing would take half a volume Leave this gentleman and lady to the dying Negro and let me hear your two words in Lord Delacours dressingroom if you please said she opening the door of an adjoining apartment Lord Delacour will not be jealous if he find you têteàtête with me I promise you But you shall not be compelled You look—
I look said Mr Hervey affecting to laugh as if I felt the impossibility of putting half a volume into two words It is a long story and—
And I must wait for the packet whether I will or no—well be it so said Lady Delacour Struck with the extreme perturbation into which he was thrown she pressed him with no farther raillery but instantly attempted to change the conversation to general subjects
Again she had recourse to the dying Negro Mr Vincent to whom she now addressed herself said For my part I neither have nor pretend to have much critical taste but I admire in this poem the manly energetic spirit of virtue which it breathes From the poem an easy transition was made to the author and Clarence Hervey exerting himself to join in the conversation observed that this writer Mr Day was an instance that genuine eloquence must spring from the heart Cicero was certainly right continued he addressing himself to Mr Vincent in his definition of a great orator to make it one of the first requisites that he should be a good man
Mr Vincent coldly replied This definition would exclude too many men of superior talents to be easily admitted
Perhaps the appearance of virtue said Belinda might on many occasions succeed as well as the reality
Yes if the man be as good an actor as Mr Hervey said Lady Delacour and if he suit the action to the word—the word to the action
Belinda never raised her eyes whilst her ladyship uttered these words Mr Vincent was or seemed to be so deeply engaged in looking for something in the book which he held in his hand that he could take no farther part in the conversation and a dead silence ensued
Lady Delacour who was naturally impatient in the extreme especially in the vindication of her friends could not bear to see as she did by Belindas countenance that she had not forgotten Marriotts story of Virginia St Pierre and though her ladyship was convinced that the packet would clear up all mysteries yet she could not endure that even in the interim poor Clarence should he unjustly suspected nor could she refrain from trying an expedient which just occurred to her to satisfy herself and every body present She was the first to break silence
To do ye justice my friends you are all good company this morning Mr Vincent is excusable because he is in love and Belinda is excusable because—because—Mr Hervey pray help me to an excuse for Miss Portmans stupidity for I am dreadfully afraid of blundering out the truth But why do I ask you to help me In your present condition you seem totally unable to help yourself—Not a word—Run over the commonplaces of conversation—weather—fashion—scandal—dress—deaths— marriages—Will none of these do Suppose then you were to entertain me with other peoples thoughts since you have none of your own unpacked—Forfeit to arbitrary power continued her ladyship playfully seizing Mr Vincents book I have always observed that none submit with so good a grace to arbitrary power from our sex as your true men of spirit who would shed the last drop of their blood to resist it from one of their own Inconsistent creatures the best of you So read this charming little poem to us Mr Hervey will you
He was going to begin immediately but Lady Delacour put her hand upon the book and stopped him
Stay though I am tyrannical I will not be treacherous I warn you then that I have imposed upon you a difficult a dangerous task If you have any sins unwhipt of justice there are lines which I defy you to read without faltering—listen to the preface
Her ladyship began as follows
Mr Day indeed retained during all the period of his life as might be expected from his character a strong detestation of female seduction——Happening to see some verses written by a young lady on a recent event of this nature which was succeeded by a fatal catastrophe—the unhappy young woman who had been a victim to the perfidy of a lover overpowered by her sensibility of shame having died of a broken heart—he expresses his sympathy with the fair poetess in the following manner
Lady Delacour paused and fixed her eyes upon Clarence Hervey He with all the appearance of conscious innocence received the book without hesitation from her hands and read aloud the lines to which she pointed
Swear by the dread avengers of the tomb
By all thy hopes by deaths tremendous gloom
That neer by thee deceived the tender maid
Shall mourn her easy confidence betrayd
Nor weep in secret the triumphant art
With bitter anguish rankling in her heart
So may each blessing which impartial fate
Throws on the good but snatches from the great
Adorn thy favourd course with rays divine
And Heavens best gift a virtuous love be thine
Mr Hervey read these lines with so much unaffected unembarrassed energy that Lady Delacour could not help casting a triumphant look at Belinda which said or seemed to say—you see I was right in my opinion of Clarence
Had Mr Vincent been left to his own observations he would have seen the simple truth but he was alarmed and deceived by Lady Delacours imprudent expressions of joy and by the significant looks that she gave her friend Miss Portman which seemed to be looks of mutual intelligence He scarcely dared to turn his eyes toward his mistress or upon him whom he thought his rival but he kept them anxiously fixed upon her ladyship in whose face as in a glass he seemed to study every thing that was passing
Pray have you ever played at chess since we saw you last said Lady Delacour to Clarence I hope you do not forget that you are my knight I do not forget it I assure you—I own you as my knight to all the world in public and private—do not I Belinda
A dark cloud overspread Mr Vincents brow—he listened not to Belindas answer Seized with a transport of jealousy he darted at Mr Hervey a glance of mingled scorn and rage and after saying a few unintelligible words to Miss Portman and Lady Delacour he left the room
Clarence Hervey who seemed afraid to trust himself longer with Belinda withdrew a few minutes afterward
My dear Belinda exclaimed Lady Delacour the moment that he was out of the room how glad I am he is gone that I may say all the good I think of him In the first place Clarence Hervey loves you Never was I so fully convinced of it as this day Why had we not that letter of his sooner that will explain all to us but I ask for no explanation I ask for no letter to confirm my opinion my conviction—that he loves you on this point I cannot be mistaken—he fondly loves you
He fondly loves her—Yes to be sure I could have told you that news long ago cried the dowager Lady Boucher who was in the room before they were aware of her entrance they had both been so eager the one listening and the other speaking
Fondly loves her repeated the dowager yes and no secret I promise you Lady Delacour and then turning to Belinda she began a congratulatory speech upon the report of her approaching marriage with Mr Vincent Belinda absolutely denied the truth of this report but the dowager continued I distress you I see and its quite out of rule I am sensible to speak in this sort of way Miss Portman but as Im an old acquaintance and an old friend and an old woman youll excuse me I cant help saying I feel quite rejoiced at your meeting with such a match Belinda again attempted to declare that she was not going to be married but the invincible dowager went on Every way eligible and every way agreeable A charming young man I hear Lady Delacour I see I must only speak to you or I shall make Miss Portman sink to the centre of the earth which I would not wish to do especially at such a critical moment as this A charming young man I hear with a noble West Indian fortune and a noble spirit and well connected and passionately in love—no wonder But I have done now I promise you Ill ask no questions so dont run away Miss Portman Ill ask no questions I promise you
To ensure the performance of the promise Lady Delacour asked what news there was in the world This question she knew would keep the dowager in delightful employment I live quite out of the world here but since Lady Boucher has the charity to come to see me we shall hear all the secrets worth knowing from the best authority
Then the first piece of news I have for you is that my Lord and my Lady Delacour are absolutely reconciled and that they are the happiest couple that ever lived
All very true replied Lady Delacour
True repeated Lady Boucher why my dear Lady Delacour you amaze me—Are you in earnest—Was there ever any thing so provoking—There have I been contradicting the report wherever I went for I was convinced that the whole story was a mistake and a fabrication
The history of the reformation might not be exact but the reformation itself your ladyship may depend upon since you hear it from my own lips
Well how amazing how incredible—Lord bless me But your ladyship certainly is not in earnest for you look just the same and speak just in the same sort of way I see no alteration I confess
And what alteration my good Lady Boucher did you expect to see Did you think that by way of being exemplarily virtuous I should like Lady Q—— let my sentences come out of my mouth only at the rate of a word a minute
Like—minute—drops—from—off—the—eaves
Or did you expect that in hopes of being a pattern for the rising generation I should hold my features in penance immoveably thus—like some of the poor ladies of Antigua who after they have blistered their faces all over to get a fine complexion are forced whilst the new skin is coming to sit without speaking smiling or moving muscle or feature lest an indelible wrinkle should be the consequence
Lady Boucher was impatient to have this speech finished for she had a piece of news to tell Well cried she theres no knowing what to believe or disbelieve one hears so many strange reports but I have a piece of news for you that you may all depend upon I have one secret worth knowing I can tell your ladyship—and one your ladyship and Miss Portman Im sure will be rejoiced to hear Your friend Clarence Hervey is going to be married
Married married cried Lady Delacour
Ay ay your ladyship may look as much astonished as you please you cannot be more so than I was when I heard it Clarence Hervey Miss Portman that was looked upon so completely you know as not a marrying man and now the last man upon earth that your ladyship would suspect of marrying in this sort of way
In what sort of way—My dear Belinda how can you stand this fire said Lady Delacour placing a skreen dexterously to hide her face from the dowagers observation
Now only guess whom he is going to marry continued Lady Boucher whom do you guess Miss Portman
An amiable woman I should guess from Mr Herveys general character cried Lady Delacour
Oh an amiable woman I take for granted every woman is amiable of course as the newspapers tell us when she is going to be married said the dowager an amiable woman to be sure but that means nothing I have not had a guess from Miss Portman
From general character Belinda began in a constrained voice
Do not guess from general character my dear Belinda interrupted Lady Delacour for there is no judging in these cases from general character of what people will like or dislike
Then I will leave it to your ladyship to guess this time if you please said Belinda
You will neither of you guess till doomsday cried the dowager I must tell you Mr Herveys going to marry—in the strangest sort of way—a girl that nobody knows—a daughter of a Mr Hartley The father can give her a good fortune it is true but one should not have supposed that fortune was an object with Mr Hervey who has such a noble one of his own Its really difficult to believe it
So difficult that I find it quite impossible said Lady Delacour with an incredulous smile
Depend upon it my dear Lady Delacour said the dowager laying the convincing weight of her arm upon her ladyships depend upon it my dear Lady Delacour that my information is correct Guess whom I had it from
Willingly But first let me tell you that I have seen Mr Hervey within this half hour and I never saw a man look less like a bridegroom
Indeed well Ive heard too that he didnt like the match but what a pity when you saw him yourself this morning that you didnt get all the particulars out of him But let him look like what he will youll find that my information is perfectly correct Guess whom I had it from—from Mrs Margaret Delacour it was at her house that Clarence Hervey first met Mr Hartley who as I mentioned is the father of the young lady There was a charming scene and some romantic story about his finding the girl in a cottage and calling her Virginia something or other but I didnt clearly understand about that However this much is certain that the girl as her father told Mrs Delacour is desperately in love with Mr Hervey and they are to be married immediately Depend upon it youll find my information correct Good morning to you Lord bless me now I recollect I once heard that Mr Hervey was a great admirer of Miss Portman said the dowager
The inquisitive dowager whose curiosity was put upon a new scent immediately fastened her eyes upon Belindas face but from that she could make out nothing Was it because she had not the best eyes or because there was nothing to be seen To determine this question she looked through her glass to take a clearer view but Lady Delacour drew off her attention by suddenly exclaiming—My dear Lady Boucher when you go back to town do send me a bottle of concentrated anima of quassia
Ah ah have I made a convert of you at last said the dowager and satisfied with the glory of this conversion she departed
Admire my knowledge of human nature my dear Belinda said Lady Delacour Now she will talk at the next place she goes to of nothing but of my faith in anima of quassia and she will forget to make a gossiping story out of that most imprudent hint I gave her about Clarence Herveys having been an admirer of yours
Do not leave the room Belinda I have a thousand things to say to you my dear
Excuse me at present my dear Lady Delacour I am impatient to write a few lines to Mr Vincent He went away—
In a fit of jealousy and I am glad of it
And I am sorry for it said Belinda sorry that he should have so little confidence in me as to feel jealousy without cause—without sufficient cause I should say for certainly your ladyship gave pain by the manner in which you received Mr Hervey
Lord my dear you would spoil any man upon earth You could not act more foolishly if the man were your husband Are you privately married to him—If you be not—for my sake—for your own—for Mr Vincents—do not write till we see the contents of Clarence Herveys packet
It can make no alteration in what I write said Belinda
Well my dear write what you please but I only hope you will not send your letter till the packet arrives
Pardon me I shall send it as soon as I possibly can the dear delight of giving pain does not suit my taste
Lady Delacour as soon as she was left alone began to reconsider the dowagers story notwithstanding her unbelieving smile it alarmed her for she could not refuse to give it some degree of credit when she learnt that Mrs Margaret Delacour was the authority from whom it came Mrs Delacour was a woman of scrupulous veracity and rigid in her dislike to gossiping so that it was scarcely probable a report originating with her however it might be altered by the way should prove to be totally void of foundation The name of Virginia coincided with Sir Philip Baddelys hints and with Marriotts discoveries these circumstances considered Lady Delacour knew not what opinion to form and her eagerness to receive Mr Herveys packet every moment increased She walked up and down the room—looked at her watch—fancied that it had stopped—held it to her ear—ran the bell every quarter of an hour to inquire whether the messenger was not yet come back At last the longexpected packet arrived She seized it and hurried with it immediately to Belindas room
Clarence Herveys packet my love—Now woe be to the person who interrupts us She bolted the door as she spoke— rolled an armchair to the fire—Now for it said she seating herself The devil upon two sticks if he were looking down upon me from the housetop or Champfort who is the worse devil of the two would if he were peeping through the keyhole swear I was going to open a loveletter—and so I hope I am Now for it cried she breaking the seal
My dear friend said Belinda laying her hand upon Lady Delacours before we open this packet let me speak to you whilst our minds are calm
Calm It is the strangest time for your mind to be calm But I must not affront you by my incredulity Speak then but be quick for I do not pretend to be calm it not being thank my stars mon métier dêtre philosophe Crack goes the last seal—speak now or for ever after hold your tongue my calm philosopher of Oaklypark but do you wish me to attend to what you are going to say
Yes replied Belinda smiling that is the usual wish of those who speak
Very true and I can listen tolerably well when I dont know what people are going to say but when I know it all beforehand I have an unfortunate habit of not being able to attend to one word Now my dear let me anticipate your speech and if my anticipation be wrong then you shall rise to explain and I will said she putting her finger on her lips listen to you like Harpocrates without moving an eyelash
Belinda as the most certain way of being heard consented to hear before she spoke
I will tell you pursued Lady Delacour if not what you are going to say to me at least what you say to yourself which is fully as much to the purpose You say to yourself Let this packet of Clarence Hervey contain what it may it comes too late Let him say or let him do tis all the same to me—because—now for the reasoning—because things have gone so far with Mr Vincent that Lady Anne Percival and all the world at Oaklypark will blame me if I retract In short things have gone so far that I cannot recede because—things have gone so far This is the rondeau of your argument Nay hear me out then you shall have your turn my dear for an hour if you please Let things have gone ever so far they can stop and turn about again cannot they Lady Anne Percival is your friend of course can wish only for your happiness You think she is the thing thats most uncommon a reasonable woman then she cannot be angry with you for being happy your own way So I need not as the orators say labour this point any more Now as to your aunt The fear of displeasing Mrs Stanhope a little more or less is not to be put in competition with the hope of your happiness for life especially as you have contrived to exist some months in a state of utter excommunication from her favour After all you know she will not grieve for any thing but the loss of Mr Vincents fortune and Mr Herveys fortune might do as well or almost as well at least she may compound with her pride for the difference by considering that an English member of parliament is in the eyes of the world the only eyes with which she sees a better connexion than the son of a West India planter even though he may be a protégé of Lady Anne Percival
Spare me your indignation my dear—What a look was there—Reasoning for Mrs Stanhope must not I reason as Mrs Stanhope does—Now I will put this stronger still Suppose that you had actually acknowledged that Mr Vincent had got beyond esteem with you suppose that you had in due form consented to marry him suppose that preparations were at this moment making for the wedding even in that desperate case I should say to you you are not a girl to marry because your weddinggown is made up Some few guineas are thrown away perhaps do not throw away your whole happiness after them—that would be sorry economy Trust me my dear I should say as I have to you in time of need Or if you fear to be obliged to one who never was afraid of being obliged to you ten to one the preparations for a wedding though not the wedding may be necessary immediately No matter to Mrs Franks who the bridegroom may be so that her bill be paid she would not care the turning of a feather whether it be paid by Mrs Vincent or Mrs Hervey I hope I have convinced I am sure I have made you blush my dear and that is some satisfaction A blush at this moment is an earnest of victory Lo triumphe Now I will open my packet my hand shall not be held an instant longer
I absolve you from the penance of hearing me for an hour but I claim your promise to attend to me for a few minutes my dear friend said Belinda I thank you most sincerely for your kindness and let me assure you that I should not hesitate to accept from you any species of obligation
Thanks thanks—theres a dear good girl—my own Belinda
But indeed you totally misunderstand me your reasoning—
Show me the fault of it I challenge all the logic of all the Percivals
Your reasoning is excellent if your facts were not taken for granted You have taken it for granted that Mr Hervey is in love with me
No said Lady Delacour I take nothing for granted as you will find when I open this packet
You have taken it for granted continued Belinda that I am still secretly attached to him and you take it for granted that I am restrained only by fear of Lady Anne Percival my aunt and the world from breaking off with Mr Vincent if you will read the letter which I was writing to him when you came into the room perhaps you will be convinced of your mistake
Read a letter to Mr Vincent at such a time as this then I will go and read my packet in my own room cried Lady Delacour rising hastily with evident displeasure
Not even your displeasure my dear friend said Belinda can alter my determination to behave with consistency and openness towards Mr Vincent and I can bear your anger for I know it arises from your regard for me
I never loved you so little as at this instant Belinda
You will do me justice when you are cool
Cool repeated Lady Delacour as she was about to leave the room I never wish to be as cool as you are Belinda So after all you love Mr Vincent—youll marry Mr Vincent
I never said so replied Belinda you have not read my letter Oh Lady Delacour at this instant—you should not reproach me
I did you injustice cried Lady Delacour as she now looked at Belindas letter Send it—send it—you have said the very thing you ought and now sit down with me to this packet of Clarence Herveys—be just to him as you are to Mr Vincent thats all I ask—give him a fair hearing—now for it
CHAPTER XXVI — VIRGINIA
Clarence Herveys packet contained a history of his connexion with Virginia St Pierre
To save our hero from the charge of egotism we shall relate the principal circumstances in the third person
It was about a year before he had seen Belinda that Clarence Hervey returned from his travels he had been in France just before the Revolution when luxury and dissipation were at their height in Paris and when a universal spirit of licentious gallantry prevailed Some circumstances in which he was personally interested disgusted him strongly with the Parisian belles he felt that women who were full of vanity affectation and artifice whose tastes were perverted and whose feelings were depraved were equally incapable of conferring or enjoying real happiness Whilst this conviction was full in his mind he read the works of Rousseau this eloquent writers sense made its full impression upon Clarences understanding and his declamations produced more than their just effect upon an imagination naturally ardent He was charmed with the picture of Sophia when contrasted with the characters of the women of the world with whom he had been disgusted and he formed the romantic project of educating a wife for himself Full of this idea he returned to England determined to carry his scheme immediately into execution but was some time delayed by the difficulty of finding a proper object for his purpose it was easy to meet with beauty in distress and ignorance in poverty but it was difficult to find simplicity without vulgarity ingenuity without cunning or even ignorance without prejudice it was difficult to meet with an understanding totally uncultivated yet likely to reward the labour of late instruction a heart wholly unpractised yet full of sensibility capable of all the enthusiasm of passion the delicacy of sentiment and the firmness of rational constancy It is not wonderful that Mr Hervey with such high expectations should not immediately find them gratified Disappointed in his first search he did not however relinquish his design and at length by accident he discovered or thought that he discovered an object formed expressly for his purpose
One fine evening in autumn as he was riding through the New Forest charmed with the picturesque beauties of the place he turned out of the beaten road and struck into a fresh track which he pursued with increasing delight till the setting sun reminded him that it was necessary to postpone his farther reflections on forest scenery and that it was time to think of finding his way out of the wood He was now in the most retired part of the forest and he saw no path to direct him but as he stopped to consider which way he should turn a dog sprang from a thicket barking furiously at his horse his horse was highspirited but he was master of him and he obliged the animal to stand quietly till the dog having barked himself hoarse retreated of his own accord Clarence watched to see which way he would go and followed him in hopes of meeting with the person to whom he belonged he kept his guide in sight till he came into a beautiful glade in the midst of which was a neat but very small cottage with numerous beehives in the garden surrounded by a profusion of rosetrees which were in full blow This cultivated spot was strikingly contrasted with the wildness of the surrounding scenery As he came nearer Mr Hervey saw a young girl watering the rosetrees which grew round the cottage and an old woman beside her filling a basket with the flowers The old woman was like most other old women except that she had a remarkably benevolent countenance and an air that had been acquired in better days but the young girl did not appear to Clarence like any other young girl that he had ever seen The setting sun shone upon her countenance the wind blew aside the ringlets of her light hair and the blush of modesty overspread her cheeks when she looked up at the stranger In her large blue eyes there was an expression of artless sensibility with which Mr Hervey was so powerfully struck that he remained for some moments silent totally forgetting that he came to ask his way out of the forest His horse had made so little noise upon the soft grass that he was within a few yards of them before he was perceived by the old woman As soon as she saw him she turned abruptly to the young girl put the basket of roses into her hand and bid her carry them into the house As she passed him the girl with a sweet innocent smile held up the basket to Clarence and offered him one of the roses
Go in Rachel—go in child said the old woman in so loud and severe a tone that both Rachel and Mr Hervey started the basket was overturned and the roses all scattered upon the grass Clarence though he attempted some apology was by no means concerned for the accident as it detained Rachel some instants longer to collect her flowers and gave him an opportunity of admiring her finely shaped hands and arms and the ease and natural grace of her motions
Go in Rachel repeated the old woman in a still more severe tone leave the roses there—I can pick them up as well as you child—go in
The girl looked at the old woman with astonishment her eyes filled with tears and throwing down the roses that she held in her hand she said I am going grandmother The door closed after her before Clarence recollected himself sufficiently to tell the old lady how he had lost his way c Her severity vanished as soon as her granddaughter was safe in the house and with much readiness she showed him the road for which he inquired
As soon however as it was in his power he returned thither for he had taken such good note of the place that he easily found his way to the spot which appeared to him a terrestrial paradise As he descended into the valley he heard the humming of bees but he saw no smoke rising from the cottage chimney—no dog barked—no living creature was to be seen—the house door was shut—the windowshutters closed—all was still The place looked as if it had been deserted by all its inhabitants the roses had not been watered many of them had shed their leaves and a basket half full of dead flowers was left in the middle of the garden Clarence alighted and tried the latch of the door but it was fastened he listened but heard no sound he walked round to the back of the house a small lattice window was half open and as he went toward it he thought he heard a low moaning voice he gently pulled aside the curtain and peeped in at the window The room was darkened his eyes had been dazzled by the sun so that he could not at first see any object distinctly but he heard the moaning repeated at intervals and a soft voice at last said—
Oh speak to me—speak to me once again—only once—only once again speak to me
The voice came from a corner of the room to which he had not yet turned his eyes and as he drew aside more of the curtain to let in more light a figure started up from the side of a bed at which she had been kneeling and he saw the beautiful young girl with her hair all dishevelled and the strongest expression of grief in her countenance He asked if he could do her any service She beckoned to him to come in and then pointing to the bed on which the old woman was stretched said—
She cannot speak to me—she cannot move one side—she has been so these three days—but she is not dead—she is not dead
The poor creature had been struck with the palsy As Clarence went close to the bed she opened her eyes and fixing them upon him she stretched out her withered hand caught fast hold of her granddaughter and then raising herself with a violent effort she pronounced the word Begone Her face grew black her features convulsed and she sunk down again in her bed without power of utterance Clarence left the house instantly mounted his horse and galloped to the next town for medical assistance The poor woman was so far recovered by a skilful apothecary that she could in a few days articulate so as to be understood She knew that her end was approaching fast and seemed piously resigned to her fate Mr Hervey went constantly to see her but though grateful to him for his humanity and for the assistance he had procured for her yet she appeared agitated when he was in the room and frequently looked at him and at her granddaughter with uncommon anxiety At last she whispered something to the girl who immediately left the room and she then beckoned to him to come closer to the armchair in which she was seated
May be sir said she you thought me out of my right mind the day when I was lying on that bed and said to you in such a peremptory tone Begone—It was all I could say then and in truth I cannot speak quite plain yet nor ever shall again But Gods will be done I had only one thing to say to you sir about that poor girl of mine—
Clarence listened to her with eagerness She paused and then laying her cold hand upon his she looked up earnestly in his face and continued You are a fine young gentleman and you look like a good gentleman but so did the man who broke the heart of her poor mother Her mother was carried off from a boardingschool when she was scarcely sixteen by a wretch who after privately marrying her would not own his marriage stayed with her but two years then went abroad left his wife and his infant and has never been heard of since My daughter died of a broken heart Rachel was then between three and four years old a beautiful child God forgive her father—Gods will be done—She paused to subdue her emotion and then with some difficulty proceeded
My only comfort is I have bred Rachel up in innocence I never sent her to a boardingschool No no from the moment of her birth till now I have kept her under my own eye In this cottage she has lived with me away from all the world You are the first man she ever spoke to the first man who ever was within these doors She is innocence itself—Oh sir as you hope for mercy when you are as I am now spare the innocence of that poor child—Never never come here after her when I am dead and gone Consider she is but a child sir God never made a better creature Oh promise me you will not be the ruin of my sweet innocent girl and I shall die in peace
Clarence Hervey was touched He instantly made the promise required of him and as nothing less would satisfy the poor dying woman confirmed it by a solemn oath
Now I am easy said she quite easy and may God bless you for it In the village here there is a Mrs Smith a good farmers wife who knows us well she will see to have me decently buried and then has promised to sell all the little I have for my girl and to take care of her And youll never come near her more
I did not promise that said Hervey
The old woman again looked much disturbed
Ah good young gentleman said she take my advice it will be best for you both If you see her again you will love her sir—you cant help it and if she sees you—poor thing how innocently she smiled when she gave you the rose—oh sir never come near her when I am gone It is too late for me now to get her out of your way This night Im sure will be my last in this world—oh promise me you will never come here again
After the oath I have taken replied Clarence that promise would be unnecessary Trust to my honour
Honour Oh that was the word the gentleman said that betrayed her poor mother and left her afterwards to die—Oh sir sir——
The violent emotion that she felt was too much for her—she fell back exhausted—never spoke more—and an hour afterwards she expired in the arms of her granddaughter The poor girl could not believe that she had breathed her last She made a sign to the surgeon and to Clarence Hervey who stood beside her to be silent and listened fancying that the corpse would breathe again Then she kissed her cold lips and the shrivelled cheeks and the eyelids that were closed for ever She warmed the dead fingers with her breath—she raised the heavy arm and when it fell she perceived there was no hope she threw herself upon her knees—She is dead she exclaimed and she has died without giving me her blessing She can never bless me again
They took her into the air and Clarence Hervey sprinkled water upon her face It was a fine night and the fresh air soon brought her to her senses He then said that he would leave her to the care of the surgeon and ride to the village in search of that Mrs Smith who had promised to be her friend
And so you are going away from me too said she and she burst into tears At the sight of these tears Clarence turned away and hurried from her He sent the woman from the village but returned no more that night
Her simplicity sensibility and perhaps more than he was aware her beauty had pleased and touched him extremely The idea of attaching a perfectly pure disinterested unpractised heart was delightful to his imagination the cultivation of her understanding he thought would be an easy and a pleasing task all difficulties vanished before his sanguine hopes
Sensibility said he to himself is the parent of great talents and great virtues and evidently she possesses natural feeling in an uncommon degree it shall be developed with skill patience and delicacy and I will deserve before I claim my reward
The next day he returned to the cottage accompanied by an elderly lady a Mrs Ormond the same lady who afterward to Marriotts prejudiced eyes had appeared more like a dragon than any thing else but who to this simple unsuspicious girl seemed like what she really was a truly goodnatured benevolent woman She consented most readily to put herself under the protection of Mrs Ormond provided Mrs Smith would give her leave There was no difficulty in persuading Mrs Smith that it was for her advantage Mrs Smith who was a plain farmers wife told all that she knew of Rachels history but all that she knew was little She had heard only hints at odd times from the old woman these agreed perfectly with what Mr Hervey had already heard
The old gentlewoman said Mrs Smith as I believe I should call her by rights has lived in the forest there where you found her these many a year—she earned her subsistence by tending bees and making rosewater—she was a good soul but very particular especially about her granddaughter which considering all things one cannot blame her for She often told me she would never put Rachel to a boardingschool which I approved seeing she had no fortune and it is the ruin of girls to my mind to be bred above their means—as it was of her mother sir Then she would never teach Rachel to write for fear she should take to scrawling nonsense of loveletters as her mother did before her Now sir this I approved too for I dont much mind about booklearning myself and I even thought it would have been as well if the girl had not learnt to read but that she did learn and was always fond of and Im sure it was more plague than use too to her grandmother for she was as particular about the books that the girl was to read as about all the rest She went farther than all that sir for she never would let the girl speak to a man—not a man ever entered the doors of the house
So she told me
And she told you true enough But there I thought she was quite wrong for seeing the girl must some time or other speak to men where was the use of her not learning to do it properly—Lord maam continued Mrs Smith addressing herself to Mrs Ormond Lord maam though it is a sin to be remembering so much of the particularities of the dead I must say there never was an old lady who had more scrupulosities than the deceased I verily thought one day she would have gone into fits about a picture of a man that Rachel lit upon by accident as if a picture had any sense to hurt a body Now if it had been one of your naked pictures there might have been some delicacy in her dislike to it but it was no such thing but a very proper picture
A picture maam of a young seaofficer in his full uniform—quite proper maam It was his mother that left it with me and I had it always in my own room and the girl saw it and was mightily taken with it being the first thing of the kind she had ever lit upon and the old lady comes in and took on till I verily thought she was crazed Lord I really could not but laugh but I checked myself when the poor old souls eyes filled with tears which made me know she was thinking of her daughter that was dead When I thought on the cause of her particularity about Rachel I could not laugh any more at her strangeness
I promised the good lady that day in case of her death to take care of her granddaughter and I thought in my own mind that in time to come if one of my boys should take a fancy to her I should make no objections because she was always a good modestbehaved girl and Im sure would make a good wife though too delicate for hard country work but as it pleases God to send you madam and the good gentleman to take the charge of her off my hands I am content it should be so and I will sell every thing here for her honestly and bring it to you madam for poor Rachel
There was nothing that Rachel was anxious to carry away with her but a little bullfinch of which she was very fond One and but one circumstance about Rachel stopped the current of Clarence Herveys imagination and this consequently was excessively disagreeable to him—her name the name of Rachel he could hot endure and he thought it so unsuited to her that he could scarcely believe it belonged to her He consequently resolved to change it as soon as possible The first time that he beheld her he was struck with the idea that she resembled the description of Virginia in M de St Pierres celebrated romance and by this name he always called her from the hour that she quitted her cottage
Mrs Ormond the lady whom he had engaged to take care of his Virginia was a widow the mother of a gentleman who had been his tutor at college Her son died and left her in such narrow circumstances that she was obliged to apply to her friends for pecuniary assistance
Mr Hervey had been liberal in his contributions from his childhood he had known her worth and her attachment to him was blended with the most profound respect She was not a woman of superior abilities or of much information but her excellent temper and gentle disposition won affection though she had not any talents to excite admiration Mr Hervey had perfect confidence in her integrity he believed that she would exactly comply with his directions and he thought that her want of literature and ingenuity could easily be supplied by his own care and instructions He took a house for her and his fair pupil at Windsor and he exacted a solemn promise that she would neither receive nor pay any visits Virginia was thus secluded from all intercourse with the world she saw no one but Mrs Ormond Clarence Hervey and Mr Moreton an elderly clergyman whom Mr Hervey engaged to attend every Sunday to read prayers for them at home Virginia never expressed the slightest curiosity to see any other persons or any thing beyond the walls of the garden that belonged to the house in which she lived her present retirement was not greater than that to which she had long been accustomed and consequently she did not feel her seclusion from the world as any restraint with the circumstances that were altered in her situation she seemed neither to be dazzled nor charmed the objects of convenience or luxury that were new to her she looked upon with indifference but with any thing that reminded her of her former way of life and of her grandmothers cottage she was delighted
One day Mr Hervey asked her whether she should like better to return to that cottage or to remain where she was He trembled for her answer She innocently replied I should like best to go back to the cottage if you would go with me—but I would rather stay here with you than live there without you
Clarence was touched and flattered by this artless answer and for some time he discovered every day fresh indications as he thought of virtue and abilities in his charming pupil Her indifference to objects of show and ornament appeared to him an indisputable proof of her magnanimity and of the superiority of her unprejudiced mind What a difference thought he between this child of nature and the frivolous sophisticated slaves of art
To try and prove the simplicity of her taste and the purity of her mind he once presented to her a pair of diamond earrings and a moss rosebud and asked her to take whichever she liked best She eagerly snatched the rose crying Oh it puts me in mind of the cottage—how sweet it smells
She placed it in her bosom and then looking at the diamonds said They are pretty sparkling things—what are they of what use are they and she looked with more curiosity and admiration at the manner in which the earring shut and opened than at the diamonds Clarence was charmed with her When Mrs Ormond told her that these things were to hang in her ears she laughed and said How how can I make them hang
Have you never observed that I wear earrings said Mrs Ormond
Ay but yours are not like these and—let me look—I never saw how you fastened them—let me look—oh you have holes in your ears but I have none in mine
Mrs Ormond told her that holes could easily be made in her ears by running a steel pin through them She shrunk back defending her ear with one hand and pushing the diamonds from her with the other exclaiming Oh no no—unless added she changing her tone and turning to Clarence unless you wish it—if you bid me I will
Clarence was scarcely master of himself at this instant and it was with the utmost difficulty that he could reply to her with that dispassionate calmness which became his situation and hers And yet there was more of ignorance and timidity perhaps than of sound sense or philosophy in Virginias indifference to diamonds she did not consider them as ornaments that would confer distinction upon their possessor because she was ignorant of the value affixed to them by society Isolated in the world she had no excitements to the love of finery no competition no means of comparison or opportunities of display diamonds were consequently as useless to her as guineas were to Robinson Crusoe on his desert island It could not justly be said that he was free from avarice because he set no value on the gold or that she was free from vanity because she rejected the diamonds These reflections could not possibly have escaped a man of Clarence Herveys abilities had he not been engaged in defence of a favourite system of education or if his pupil had not been quite so handsome Virginias absolute ignorance of the world frequently gave an air of originality to her most trivial observations which made her appear at once interesting and entertaining All her ideas of happiness were confined to the life she had led during her childhood and as she had accidentally lived in a beautiful situation in the New Forest she appeared to have an instinctive taste for the beauties of nature and for what we call the picturesque This taste Mr Hervey perceived whenever he showed her prints and drawings and it was a fresh source of delight and selfcomplacency to him All that was amiable or estimable in Virginia had a double charm from the secret sense of his penetration in having discovered and appreciated the treasure The affections of this innocent girl had no object but himself and Mrs Ormond and they were strong perhaps in proportion as they were concentrated The artless familiarity of her manner and her unsuspicious confidence amounting almost to credulity had irresistible power over Mr Herveys mind he felt them as appeals at once to his tenderness and his generosity He treated her with the utmost delicacy and his oath was never absent from his mind but he felt proudly convinced that if he had not been bound by any such solemn engagement no temptation could have made him deceive and betray confiding innocence
Conscious that his views were honourable anticipating the generous pleasure he should have in showing his superiority to all mercenary considerations and worldly prejudices in the choice of a wife he indulged with a species of pride his increasing attachment to Virginia but he was not sensible of the rapid progress of the passion till he was suddenly awakened by a few simple observations of Mrs Ormond
This is Virginias birthday—she tells me she is seventeen today
Seventeen—is she only seventeen cried Clarence with a mixture of surprise and disappointment in his countenance—Only seventeen Why she is but a child still
Quite a child said Mrs Ormond and so much the better
So much the worse I think said Clarence But are you sure shes only seventeen—she must be mistaken—she must be eighteen at least
God forbid
God forbid—Why Mrs Ormond
Because you know we have a year more before us
That may be a very satisfactory prospect to you said Mr Hervey smiling
And to you surely said Mrs Ormond for I suppose you would be glad that your wife should at least know the common things that every body knows
As to that said Clarence I should be glad that my wife were ignorant of what every body knows Nothing is so tiresome to a man of any taste or abilities as what every body knows I am rather desirous to have a wife who has an uncommon than a common understanding
But you would choose would not you said Mrs Ormond hesitating with an air of great deference that your wife should know how to write
To be sure replied Clarence colouring Does not Virginia know how to write
How should she said Mrs Ormond it is no fault of hers poor girl—she was never taught You know it was her grandmothers notion that she should not learn to write lest she should write loveletters
But you promised that she should be taught to write and I trusted to you Mrs Ormond
She has been here only two months and all that time I am sure I have done every thing in my power but when a person comes to be sixteen or seventeen it is uphill work
I will teach her myself cried Clarence I am sure she may be taught any thing
By you said Mrs Ormond smiling but not by me
You have no doubts of her capacity surely
I am no judge of capacity especially of the capacity of those I love and I am grown very fond of Virginia she is a charming openhearted simple affectionate creature I rather think it is from indolence that she does not learn and not from want of abilities
All indolence arises from want of excitement said Clarence if she had proper motives she would conquer her indolence
Why I dare say if I were to tell her that she would never have a letter from Mr Hervey till she is able to write an answer she would learn to write very expeditiously but I thought that would not be a proper motive because you forbade me to tell her your future views And indeed it would be highly imprudent on your account as well as hers to give her any hint of that kind because you might change your mind before shes old enough for you to think of her seriously and then you would not know what to do with her and after entertaining hopes of becoming your wife she would be miserable I am sure with that affectionate tender heart of hers if you were to leave her Now that she knows nothing of the matter we are all safe and as we should be
Though Clarence Hervey did not at this time foresee any great probability of his changing his mind yet he felt the good sense and justice of Mrs Ormonds suggestions and he was alarmed to perceive that his mind had been so intoxicated as to suffer such obvious reflections to escape his attention Mrs Ormond a woman whom he had been accustomed to consider as far his inferior in capacity he now felt was superior to him in prudence merely because she was undisturbed by passion He resolved to master his own mind to consider that it was not a mistress but a wife he wanted in Virginia that a wife without capacity or without literature could never be a companion suited to him let her beauty or sensibility be ever so exquisite and captivating The happiness of his life and of hers were at stake and every motive of prudence and delicacy called upon him to command his affections He was however still sanguine in his expectations from Virginias understanding and from his own power of developing her capacity He made several attempts with the greatest skill and patience and his fair pupil though she did not by any means equal his hopes astonished Mrs Ormond by her comparatively rapid progress
I always believed that you could make her any thing you pleased said she You are a tutor who can work miracles with Virginia
I see no miracles replied Clarence I am conscious of no such power I should be sorry to possess any such influence until I am sure that it would be for our mutual happiness
Mr Hervey then conjured Mrs Ormond by all her attachment to him and to her pupil never to give Virginia the most distant idea that he had any intentions of making her his wife She promised to do all that was in her power to keep this secret but she could not help observing that it had already been betrayed as plainly as looks could speak by Mr Hervey himself Clarence in vain endeavoured to exculpate himself from this charge Mrs Ormond brought to his recollection so many instances of his indiscretion that it was substantiated even in his own judgment and he was amazed to find that all the time he had put so much constraint upon his inclinations he had nevertheless so obviously betrayed them His surprise however was at this time unmixed with any painful regret he did not foresee the probability that he should change his mind and notwithstanding Mrs Ormond assured him that Virginias sensibility had increased he was persuaded that she was mistaken and that his pupils heart and imagination were yet untouched The innocent openness with which she expressed her affection for him confirmed him he said in his opinion To do him justice Clarence had none of the presumption which too often characterizes men who have been successful as it is called with the fair sex His acquaintance with women had increased his persuasion that it is difficult to excite genuine love in the heart and with respect to himself he was upon this subject astonishingly incredulous It was scarcely possible to convince him that he was beloved
Mrs Ormond piqued upon this subject determined to ascertain more decisively her pupils sentiments
My dear said she one day to Virginia who was feeding her bullfinch I do believe you are fonder of that bird than of any thing in the world—fonder of it I am sure than of me
Oh you cannot think so said Virginia with an affectionate smile
Well fonder than you are of Mr Hervey you will allow at least
No indeed cried she eagerly how can you think me so foolish so childish so ungrateful as to prefer a little worthless bird to him— the bullfinch began to sing so loud at this instant that her enthusiastic speech was stopped My pretty bird said she as it perched upon her hand I love you very much but if Mr Hervey were to ask it to wish it I would open that window and let you fly yes and bid you fly away far from me for ever Perhaps he does wish it—Does he—Did he tell you so cried she looking earnestly in Mrs Ormonds face as she moved towards the window
Mrs Ormond put her hand upon the sash as Virginia was going to throw it up—
Gently gently my love—whither is your imagination carrying you
I thought something by your look said Virginia blushing
And I thought something my dear Virginia said Mrs Ormond smiling
What did you think—What could you think
I cannot—I mean I would rather not at present tell you But do not look so grave I will tell you some time or other if you cannot guess
Virginia was silent and stood abashed
I am sure my sweet girl said Mrs Ormond I do not mean by any thing I said to confuse or blame you It is very natural that you should be grateful to Mr Hervey and that you should admire and to a certain degree love him
Virginia looked up delighted yet with some hesitation in her manner
He is indeed said Mrs Ormond one of the first of human beings such even I have always thought him and I am sure I like you the better my dear for your sensibility said she kissing Virginia as she spoke only we must take care of it or this tenderness might go too far
How so said Virginia returning her caresses with fondness can I love you and Mr Hervey too much
Not me
Nor him Im sure—he is so good so very good I am afraid that I do not love him enough said she sighing I love him enough when he is absent but not when he is present When he is near I feel a sort of fear mixed with my love I wish to please him very much but I should not quite like that he should show his love for me as you do—as you did just now
My dear it would not be proper that he should you are quite right not to wish it
Am I I was afraid that it was a sign of my not liking him as much as I ought
Ah my poor child you love him full as much as you ought
Do you think so I am glad of it said Virginia with a look of such confiding simplicity that her friend was touched to the heart
I do think so my love said Mrs Ormond and I hope I shall never be sorry for it nor you either But it is not proper that we should say any more upon this subject now Where are your drawings Where is your writing My dear we must get forward with these things as fast as we can That is the way to please Mr Hervey I can tell you
Confirmed by this conversation in her own opinion Mrs Ormond was satisfied From delicacy to her pupil she did not repeat all that had passed to Mr Hervey resolving to wait till the proper moment She is too young and too childish for him to think of marrying her yet for a year or two thought she and it is better to repress her sensibility till her education is more finished by that time Mr Hervey will find out his mistake
In the mean time she could not help thinking that he was blind for he continued steady in his belief of Virginias indifference
To dissipate his own mind and to give time for the development of hers he now according to his resolution left his pupil to the care of Mrs Ormond and mixed as much as possible in gay and fashionable company It was at this period that he renewed his acquaintance with Lady Delacour whom he had seen and admired before he went abroad He found that his gallantry on the famous day of the battle between the turkeys and pigs was still remembered with gratitude by her ladyship she received him with marked courtesy and he soon became a constant visitor at her house Her wit entertained her eloquence charmed him and he followed admired and gallanted her without scruple for he considered her merely as a coquette who preferred the glory of conquest to the security of reputation With such a woman he thought he could amuse himself without danger and he every where appeared the foremost in the public train of her ladyships admirers He soon discovered however that her talents were far superior to what are necessary for playing the part of a fine lady his visits became more and more agreeable to him and he was glad to feel that by dividing his attention his passion for Virginia insensibly diminished or as he said to himself became more reasonable In conversing with Lady Delacour his faculties were always called into full play in talking to Virginia his understanding was passive he perceived that a large proportion of his intellectual powers and of his knowledge was absolutely useless to him in her company and this did not raise her either in his love or esteem Her simplicity and naïvete however sometimes relieved him after he had been fatigued by the extravagant gaiety and glare of her ladyships manners and he reflected that the coquetry which amused him in an acquaintance would be odious in a wife the perfect innocence of Virginia promised security to his domestic happiness and he did not change his views though he was less eager for the period of their accomplishment I cannot expect every thing that is desirable said he to himself a more brilliant character than Virginias would excite my admiration but could not command my confidence
It was whilst his mind was in this situation that he became acquainted with Belinda At first the idea of her having been I educated by the matchmaking Mrs Stanhope prejudiced him against her but as he had opportunities of observing her conduct this prepossession was conquered and when she had secured his esteem he could no longer resist her power over his heart In comparison with Belinda Virginia appeared to him but an insipid though innocent child the one he found was his equal the other his inferior the one he saw could be a companion a friend to him for life the other would merely be his pupil or his plaything Belinda had cultivated taste an active understanding a knowledge of literature the power and the habit of conducting herself Virginia was ignorant and indolent she had few ideas and no wish to extend her knowledge she was so entirely unacquainted with the world that it was absolutely impossible she could conduct herself with that discretion which must be the combined result of reasoning and experience Mr Hervey had felt gratuitous confidence in Virginias innocence but on Belindas prudence which he had opportunities of seeing tried he gradually learned to feel a different and a higher species of reliance which it is neither in our power to bestow nor to refuse The virtues of Virginia sprang from sentiment those of Belinda from reason
Clarence whilst he made all these comparisons became every day more wisely and more fondly attached to Belinda and at length he became desirous to change the nature of his connexion with Virginia and to appear to her only in the light of a friend or a benefactor He thought of giving her a suitable fortune and of leaving her under the care of Mrs Ormond till some method of establishing her in the world should occur Unfortunately just at the time when Mr Hervey formed this plan and before it was communicated to Mrs Ormond difficulties arose which prevented him from putting it into execution
Whilst he had been engaged in the gay world at Lady Delacours his pupil had necessarily been left much to the management of Mrs Ormond This lady with the best possible intentions had not that reach of mind and variety of resource necessary to direct the exquisite sensibility and ardent imagination of Virginia the solitude in which she lived added to the difficulty of the task Without companions to interest her social affections without real objects to occupy her senses and understanding Virginias mind was either perfectly indolent or exalted by romantic views and visionary ideas of happiness As she had never seen any thing of society all her notions were drawn from books the severe restrictions which her grandmother had early laid upon the choice of these seemed to have awakened her curiosity and to have increased her appetite for books—it was insatiable Reading indeed was now almost her only pleasure for Mrs Ormonds conversation was seldom entertaining and Virginia had no longer those occupations which filled a portion of her day at the cottage
Mr Hervey had cautioned Mrs Ormond against putting common novels into her hands but he made no objection to romances these he thought breathed a spirit favourable to female virtue exalted the respect for chastity and inspired enthusiastic admiration of honour generosity truth and all the noble qualities which dignify human nature Virginia devoured these romances with the greatest eagerness and Mrs Ormond who found her a prey to ennui when her fancy was not amused indulged her taste yet she strongly suspected that they contributed to increase her passion for the only man who could in her imagination represent a hero
One night Virginia found in Mrs Ormonds room a volume of St Pierres Paul and Virginia She knew that her own name had been taken from this romance Mr Hervey had her picture painted in this character and these circumstances strongly excited her curiosity to read the book Mrs Ormond could not refuse to let her have it for though it was not an ancient romance it did not exactly come under the description of a common novel and Mr Hervey was not at hand to give his advice Virginia sat down instantly to her volume and never stirred from the spot till she had nearly finished it
What is it that strikes your fancy so much What are you considering so deeply my love said Mrs Ormond observing that she seemed lost in thought Let us see my dear continued she offering to take the hook which hung from her hand Virginia started from her reverie but held the volume fast—Will not you let me read along with you said Mrs Ormond Wont you let me share your pleasure
It was not pleasure that I felt I believe said Virginia I would rather you should not see just that particular part that I was reading and yet if you desire it added she resigning the book reluctantly
What can make you so much afraid of me my sweet girl
I am not afraid of you—but—of myself said Virginia sighing
Mrs Ormond read the following passage
She thought of Pauls friendship more pure than the waters
of the fountain stronger than the united palms and sweeter than
the perfume of flowers and these images in night and in
solitude gave double force to the passion which she nourished
in her heart She suddenly left the dangerous shades and
went to her mother to seek protection against herself She
wished to reveal her distress to her she pressed her hands and
the name of Paul was on her lips but the oppression of her
heart took away all utterance and laying her head upon her
mothers bosom she only wept
And am I not a mother to you my beloved Virginia said Mrs Ormond Though I cannot express my affection in such charming language as this yet believe me no mother was ever fonder of a child
Virginia threw her arms round Mrs Ormond and laid her head upon her friends bosom as if she wished to realize the illusion and to be the Virginia of whom she had been reading
I know all you think and all you feel I know whispered Mrs Ormond the name that is on your lips
No indeed you do not you cannot cried Virginia suddenly raising her head and looking up in Mrs Ormonds face with surprise and timidity how could you possibly know all my thoughts and feelings I never told them to you for indeed I have only confused ideas floating in my imagination from the books I have been reading I do not distinctly know my own feelings
This is all very natural and a proof of your perfect innocence and simplicity my child But why did the passage you were reading just now strike you so much
I was only considering said Virginia whether it was the description of—love
And your heart told you that it was
I dont know said she sighing But of this I am certain that I had not the name which you were thinking of upon my lips
Ah thought Mrs Ormond she has not forgotten how I checked her sensibility some time ago Poor girl she is become afraid of me and I have taught her to dissemble but she betrays herself every moment
My dear said Mrs Ormond you need not fear me—I cannot blame you in your situation it is impossible that you could help loving Mr Hervey
Is it
Yes quite impossible So do not blame yourself for it
No I do not blame myself for that I only blame myself for not loving him enough as I told you once before
Yes my dear and the oftener you tell me so the more I am convinced of your affection It is one of the strongest symptoms of love that we are unconscious of its extent We fancy that we can never do too much for the beloved object
That is exactly what I feel about Mr Hervey
That we can never love him enough
Ah that is precisely what I feel for Mr Hervey
And what you ought—I mean what it is natural you should feel and what he will himself I hope indeed I dare say some time or other wish and be glad that you should feel
Some time or other Does not he wish it now
I—he—my dear what a question is that And how shall I answer it We must judge of what he feels by what he expresses when he expresses love for you it will then be the time to show yours for him
He has always expressed love for me I think said Virginia—always till lately continued she but lately he has been away so much and when he comes home he does not look so well pleased so that I was afraid he was angry with me and that he thought me ungrateful
Oh my love do not torment yourself with these vain fears And yet I know that you cannot help it
Since you are so kind so very kind to me said Virginia I will tell you all my fears and doubts But it is late—there the clock struck one I will not keep you up
I am not at all sleepy said the indulgent Mrs Ormond
Nor I said Virginia
Now then said Mrs Ormond for these doubts and fears
I was afraid that perhaps Mr Hervey would be angry if he knew that I thought of any thing in the world but him
Of what else do you think—Of nothing else from morning till night that I can see
Ah then you do not see into my mind In the daytime often think of those heroes those charming heroes that I read of in the books you have given me
To be sure you do
And is not that wrong Would not Mr Hervey be displeased if he knew it
Why should he
Because they are not quite like him I love some of them better than I do him and he might think that ungrateful
How naturally love inspires the idea of jealousy thought Mrs Ormond My dear said she you carry your ideas of delicacy and gratitude to an extreme but it is very natural you should however you need not be afraid Mr Hervey cannot be jealous of those charming heroes that never existed though they are not quite like him
I am very glad that he would not think me ungrateful—but if he knew that I dream of them sometimes
He would think you dreamed as all people do of what they think of in the daytime
And he would not be angry I am very glad of it But I once saw a picture—
I know you did—well said Mrs Ormond and your grandmother was frightened because it was the picture of a man—hey If she was not your grandmother I should say that she was a simpleton I assure you Mr Hervey is not like her if that is what you mean to ask He would not be angry at your having seen fifty pictures
I am glad of it—but I see it very often in my dreams
Well if you had seen more pictures you would not see this so often It was the first you ever saw and very naturally you remember it Mr Hervey would not be angry at that said Mrs Ormond laughing
But sometimes in my dreams it speaks to me
And what does it say
The same sort of things that those heroes I read of say to their mistresses
And do you never in your dreams hear Mr Hervey say this sort of things
No
And do you never see Mr Hervey in these dreams
Sometimes but he does not speak to me he does not look at me with the same sort of tenderness and he does not throw himself at my feet
No because he has never done all this in reality
No and I wonder how I come to dream of such things
So do I but you have read and thought of them it is plain Now go to sleep theres my good girl that is the best thing you can do at present—go to sleep
It was not long after this conversation that Sir Philip Baddely and Mr Rochfort scaled the garden wall to obtain a sight of Clarence Herveys mistress Virginia was astonished terrified and disgusted by their appearance they seemed to her a species of animals for which she had no name and of which she had no prototype in her imagination That they were men she saw but they were clearly not Clarence Herveys they bore still less resemblance to the courteous knights of chivalry Their language was so different from any of the books she had read and any of the conversations she had heard that they were scarcely intelligible After they had forced themselves into her presence they did not scruple to address her in the most unceremonious manner Amongst other rude things they said Damme my pretty dear you cannot love the man that keeps you prisoner in this manner hey Damme youd better come and live with one of us You cant love this tyrant of a fellow
He is not a tyrant—I do love him as much as I detest you cried Virginia shrinking from him with looks of horror
Damme good actress Put her on the stage when he is tired of her So you wont come with us—Good bye till we see you again Youre right my girl to be upon your good behaviour may be you may get him to marry you child
Virginia upon hearing this speech turned from the man who insulted her with a degree of haughty indignation of which her gentle nature had never before appeared capable
Mrs Ormond hoped that after the alarm was over the circumstance would pass away from her pupils mind but on the contrary it left the most forcible impression Virginia became silent and melancholy and whole hours were spent in reverie Mrs Ormond imagined that notwithstanding Virginias entire ignorance of the world she had acquired from books sufficient knowledge to be alarmed at the idea of being taken for Clarence Herveys mistress She touched upon this subject with much delicacy and the answers that she received confirmed her opinion Virginia had been inspired by romances with the most exalted notions of female delicacy and honour but from her perfect ignorance these were rather vague ideas than principles of conduct
We shall see Mr Hervey tomorrow he has written me word that he will come from town and spend the day with us
I shall be ashamed to see him after what has passed said Virginia
You have no cause for shame my dear Mr Hervey will try to discover the persons who insulted you and he will punish them They will never return here you need not fear that He is willing and able to protect you
Yes of that I am sure But what did that strange man mean when he said—
What my dear
That perhaps Mr Hervey would marry me
Virginia pronounced these words with difficulty Mrs Ormond was silent for she was much embarrassed Virginia having conquered her first difficulty seemed resolute to obtain an answer
You do not speak to me Will you not tell me dear Mrs Ormond said she hanging upon her fondly what did he mean
What he said I suppose
But he said that if I behaved well I might get Mr Hervey to marry me What did he mean by that said Virginia in an accent of offended pride
He spoke very rudely and improperly but it is not worth while to think of what he said or what he meant
But dear Mrs Ormond do not go away from me now I never so much wished to speak to you in my whole life and you turn away from me
Well my love well what would you say
Tell me one thing only one thing and you will set my heart at ease Does Mr Hervey wish me to be his wife
I cannot tell you that my dearest Virginia Time will show us Perhaps his heart has not yet decided
I wish it would decide said Virginia sighing deeply and I wish that strange man had not told me any thing about the matter it has made me very unhappy
She covered her eyes with her hand but the tears trickled between her fingers and rolled fast down her arm Mrs Ormond quite overcome by the sight of her distress was no longer able to keep the secret with which she had been entrusted by Clarence Hervey And after all thought she Virginia will hear it from himself soon I shall only spare her some unnecessary pain it is cruel to see her thus and to keep her in suspense Besides her weakness might be her ruin in his opinion if it were to extinguish all her energy and deprive her of the very power of pleasing How wan she looks and how heavy are those sleepless eyes She is not indeed in a condition to meet him when he comes to us tomorrow if she had some hopes she would revive and appear with her natural ease and grace
My sweet child said Mrs Ormond I cannot bear to see you so melancholy consider Mr Hervey will be with us tomorrow and it will give him a great deal of pain to see you so
Will it Then I will try to be very gay
Mrs Ormond was so delighted to see Virginia smile that she could not forbear adding The strange man was not wrong in every thing he said you will one of these days be Mr Herveys wife
That I am sure said Virginia bursting again into tears that I am sure I do not wish unless he does
He does he does my dear—do not let this delicacy of yours which has been wound up too high make you miserable He thought of you he loved you long and long ago
He is very good too good said Virginia sobbing
Nay what is more—for I can keep nothing from you—he has been educating you all this time on purpose for his wife and he only waits till your education is finished and till he is sure that you feel no repugnance for him
I should be very ungrateful if I felt any repugnance for him said Virginia I feel none
Oh that you need not assure me said Mrs Ormond
But I do not wish to marry him—I do not wish to marry
You are a modest girl to say so and this modesty will make you ten times more amiable especially in Mr Herveys eyes Heaven forbid that I should lessen it
The next morning Virginia who always slept in the same room with Mrs Ormond wakened her by crying out in her sleep with a voice of terror Oh save him—save Mr Hervey—Mr Hervey—forgive me forgive me
Mrs Ormond drew back the curtain and saw Virginia lying fast asleep her beautiful face convulsed with agony
Hes dead—Mr Hervey cried she in a voice of exquisite distress then starting up and stretching out her arms she uttered a piercing cry and awoke
My love you have been dreaming frightfully said Mrs Ormond
Is it all a dream cried Virginia looking round fearfully
All a dream my dear said Mrs Ormond taking her hand
I am very very glad of it—Let me breathe It was indeed a frightful dream
Your hand still trembles said Mrs Ormond let me put back this hair from your poor face and you will grow cool and forget this foolish dream
No I must tell it you I ought to tell it you But it was all so confused I can recollect only some parts of it First I remember that I thought I was not myself but the Virginia that we were reading of the other night and I was somewhere in the Isle of France I thought the place was something like the forest where my grandmothers cottage used to be only there were high mountains and rocks and cocoatrees and plantains
Such as you saw in the prints of that book
Yes only beautiful beautiful beyond description And it was moonlight brighter and clearer than any moonlight I ever before had seen and the air was fresh yet perfumed and I was seated under the shade of a planetree beside Virginias fountain
Just as you are in your picture
Yes but Paul was seated beside me
Paul said Mrs Ormond smiling that is Mr Hervey
No not Mr Herveys face though it spoke with his voice—this is what I thought that I must tell you It was another figure it seemed a real living person it knelt at my feet and spoke to me so kindly so tenderly and just as it was going to kiss my hand Mr Hervey appeared and I started terribly for I was afraid he would be displeased and that he would think me ungrateful and he was displeased and he called me ungrateful Virginia and frowned and then I gave him my hand and then every thing changed I do not know how suddenly and I was in a place like the great print of the cathedral which Mr Hervey showed me and there were crowds of people—I was almost stifled You pulled me on as I remember and Mr Moreton was there standing upon some steps by what you called the altar and then we knelt down before him and Mr Hervey was putting a ring on my finger but there came suddenly from the crowd that strange man who was here the other day and he dragged me along with him I dont know how or where swiftly down precipices whilst I struggled and at last fell Then all changed again and I was in a magnificent field covered with cloth of gold and there were beautiful ladies seated under canopies and I thought it was a tournament such as I have read of only more splendid and two knights clad in complete armour and mounted on fiery steeds were engaged in single combat and they fought furiously and I thought they were fighting for me One of the knights wore black plumes in his helmet and the other white and as he was passing by me the vizor of the knight of the white plumes was raised and I saw it was—
Clarence Hervey said Mrs Ormond
No still the same figure that knelt to me and I wished him to be victorious And he was victorious And he unhorsed his adversary and stood over him with his drawn sword and then I saw that the knight in the black plumes was Mr Hervey and I ran to save him but I could not I saw him weltering in his blood and I heard him say Perfidious ungrateful Virginia you are the cause of my death—and I screamed I believe and that awakened me
Well it is only a dream my love said Mrs Ormond Mr Hervey is safe get up and dress yourself and you will soon see him
But was it not wrong and ungrateful to wish that the knight in the white plumes should be victorious
Your poor little head is full of nothing but these romances and love for Mr Hervey It is your love for him that makes you fear that he will be jealous But he is not so simple as you are He will forgive you for wishing that the knight in the white plumes should be victorious especially as you did not know that the other knight was Mr Hervey Come my love dress yourself and think no more of these foolish dreams and all will go well
CHAPTER XXVII — A DISCOVERY
Instead of the open childish affectionate familiarity with which Virginia used to meet Clarence Hervey she now received him with reserved timid embarrassment Struck by this change in her manner and alarmed by the dejection of her spirits which she vainly strove to conceal he eagerly inquired from Mrs Ormond into the cause of this alteration
Mrs Ormonds answers and her account of all that had passed during his absence increased his anxiety His indignation was roused by the insult which Virginia had been offered by the strangers who had scaled the gardenwall All his endeavours to discover who they were proved ineffectual but lest they should venture to repeat their visit he removed her from Windsor and took her directly to Twickenham Here he stayed with her and Mrs Ormond some days to determine by his own observation how far the representations that had been made to him were just Till this period he had been persuaded that Virginias regard for him was rather that of gratitude than of love and with this opinion he thought that he had no reason seriously to reproach himself for the imprudence with which he had betrayed the partiality that he felt for her in the beginning of their acquaintance He flattered himself that even should she have discerned his intentions her heart would not repine at any alteration in his sentiments and if her happiness were uninjured his reason told him that he was not in honour bound to constancy The case was now altered Unwilling as he was to believe he could no longer doubt Virginia could neither meet his eyes nor speak to him without a degree of embarrassment which she had not sufficient art to conceal she trembled whenever he came near her and if he looked grave or forbore to take notice of her she would burst into tears At other times contrary to the natural indolence of her character she would exert herself to please him with surprising energy she learned every thing that he wished her capacity seemed suddenly to unfold For an instant Clarence flattered himself that both her fits of melancholy and of exertion might arise from a secret desire to see something of that world from which she had been secluded One day he touched upon this subject to see what effect it would produce but contrary to his expectations she seemed to have no desire to quit her retirement she did not wish she said for amusements such as he described she did not wish to go into the world
It was during the time of his passion for her that Clarence had her picture painted in the character of St Pierres Virginia It happened to be in the room in which they were now conversing and when she spoke of loving a life of retirement Clarence accidentally cast his eyes upon the picture and then upon Virginia She turned away—sighed deeply and when in a tone of kindness he asked her if she were unhappy she hid her face in her hands and made no answer
Mr Hervey could not be insensible to her distress or to her delicacy He saw her bloom fading daily her spirits depressed her existence a burden to her and he feared that his own imprudence had been the cause of all this misery
I have taken her out of a situation in which she might have spent her life usefully and happily I have excited false hopes in her mind and now she is a wretched and useless being I have won her affections her happiness depends totally upon me and can I forsake her Mrs Ormond says that she is convinced Virginia would not survive the day of my marriage with another I am not disposed to believe that girls often die or destroy themselves for love nor am I a coxcomb enough to suppose that love for me must be extraordinarily desperate But heres a girl who is of a melancholy temperament who has a great deal of natural sensibility whose affections have all been concentrated who has lived in solitude whose imagination has dwelt for a length of time upon a certain set of ideas who has but one object of hope in such a mind and in such circumstances passion may rise to a paroxysm of despair
Pity generosity and honour made him resolve not to abandon this unfortunate girl though he felt that every time he saw Virginia his love for Belinda increased It was this struggle in his mind betwixt love and honour which produced all the apparent inconsistency and irresolution that puzzled Lady Delacour and perplexed Belinda The lock of beautiful hair which so unluckily fell at Belindas feet was Virginias he was going to take it to the painter who had made the hair in her picture considerably too dark How this picture got into the exhibition must now be explained
Whilst Mr Herveys mind was in that painful state of doubt which has just been described a circumstance happened that promised him some relief from his embarrassment Mr Moreton the clergyman who used to read prayers every Sunday for Mrs Ormond and Virginia did not come one Sunday at the usual time the next morning he called on Mr Hervey with a face that showed he had something of importance to communicate
I have hopes my dear Clarence said he that I have found out your Virginias father Yesterday a musical friend of mine persuaded me to go with him to hear the singing at the Asylum for children in St Georges Fields There is a girl there who has indeed a charming voice—but thats not to the present purpose After church was over I happened to be one of the last that stayed for I am too old to love bustling through a crowd Perhaps as you are impatient you think thats nothing to the purpose and yet it is as you shall hear When the congregation had almost left the church I observed that the children of the Asylum remained in their places by order of one of the governors and a middleaged gentleman went round amongst the elder girls examined their countenances with care and inquired with much anxiety their ages and every particular relative to their parents The stranger held a miniature picture in his hand with which he compared each face I was not near enough to him continued Mr Moreton to see the miniature distinctly but from the glimpse I caught of it I thought that it was like your Virginia though it seemed to be the portrait of a child but four or five years old I understand that this gentleman will be at the Asylum again next Sunday I heard him express a wish to see some of the girls who happened last Sunday to be absent
Do you know this gentlemans name or where he lives said Clarence
I know nothing of him replied Mr Moreton except that he seems fond of painting for he told one of the directors who was looking at his miniature that it was remarkably well painted and that in his happier days he had been something of a judge of the art
Impatient to see the stranger who he did not doubt was Virginias father Clarence Hervey went the next Sunday to the Asylum but no such gentleman appeared and all that he could learn respecting him was that he had applied to one of the directors of the institution for leave to see and question the girls in hopes of finding amongst them his lost daughter that in the course of the week he had seen all those who were not at the church the last Sunday None of the directors knew any thing more concerning him but the porter remarked that he came in a very handsome coach and one of the girls of the Asylum said that he gave her half a guinea because she was a little like his poor Rachel who was dead but that he had added with a sigh This cannot be my daughter for she is only thirteen and my girl if she be now living must be nearly eighteen
The age the name every circumstance confirmed Mr Hervey in the belief that this stranger was the father of Virginia and he was disappointed and provoked by having missed the opportunity of seeing or speaking to him It occurred to Clarence that the gentleman might probably visit the Foundling Hospital and thither he immediately went to make inquiries He was told that a person such as he described had been there about a month before and had compared the face of the oldest girls with a little picture of a child that he gave money to several of the girls but that they did not know his name or any thing more about him
Mr Hervey now inserted proper advertisements in all the papers but without producing any effect At last recollecting what Mr Moreton told him of the strangers love of pictures he determined to put his portrait of Virginia into the exhibition in hopes that the gentleman might go there and ask some questions about it which might lead to a discovery The young artist who had painted this picture was under particular obligations to Clarence and he promised that he would faithfully comply with his request to be at Somersethouse regularly every morning as soon as the exhibition opened that he would stay there till it closed and watch whether any of the spectators were particularly struck with the portrait of Virginia If any person should ask questions respecting the picture he was to let Mr Hervey know immediately and to give the inquirer his address
Now it happened that the very day when Lady Delacour and Belinda were at the exhibition the painter called Clarence aside and informed him that a gentleman had just inquired from him very eagerly whether the picture of Virginia was a portrait This gentleman proved to be not the stranger who had been at the Asylum but an eminent jeweller who told Mr Hervey that his curiosity about the picture arose merely from its striking likeness to a miniature which had been lately left at his house to be new set It belonged to a Mr Hartley a gentleman who had made a considerable fortune in the West Indies but who was prevented from enjoying his affluence by the loss of an only daughter of whom the miniature was a portrait taken when she was not more than four or five years old When Clarence heard all this he was extremely impatient to know where Mr Hartley was to be found but the jeweller could only tell him that the miniature had been called for the preceding day by Mr Hartleys servant who said his master was leaving town in a great hurry to go to Portsmouth to join the West India fleet which was to sail with the first favourable wind
Clarence determined immediately to follow him to Portsmouth he had not a moment to spare for the wind was actually favourable and his only chance of seeing Mr Hartley was by reaching Portsmouth as soon as possible This was the cause of his taking leave of Belinda in such an abrupt manner painful indeed were his feelings at that moment and great the difficulty he felt in parting with her without giving any explanation of his conduct which must have appeared to her capricious and mysterious He was aware that he had explicitly avowed to Lady Delacour his admiration of Miss Portman and that in a thousand instances he had betrayed his passion Yet of her love he dared not trust himself to think whilst his affairs were in this doubtful state He had it is true some faint hopes that a change in Virginias situation might produce an alteration in her sentiments and he resolved to decide his own conduct by the manner in which she should behave if her father should be found and she should become heiress to a considerable fortune New views might then open to her imagination the world the fashionable world in all its glory would be before her her beauty and fortune would attract a variety of admirers and Clarence thought that perhaps her partiality for him might become less exclusive when she had more opportunities of choice If her love arose merely from circumstances with circumstances it would change if it were only a disease of the imagination induced by her seclusion from society it might be cured by mixing with the world and then he should be at liberty to follow the dictates of his own heart and declare his attachment to Belinda But if he should find that change of situation made no alteration in Virginias sentiments if her happiness should absolutely depend upon the realization of those hopes which he had imprudently excited he felt that he should be bound to her by all the laws of justice and honour laws which no passion could tempt him to break Full of these ideas he hurried to Portsmouth in pursuit of Virginias father The first question he asked upon his arrival there may easily be guessed
Has the West India fleet sailed
No it sails tomorrow morning was the answer
He hastened instantly to make inquiries for Mr Hartley No such person could be found no such gentleman was to be heard of any where Hartley he was sure was the name which the jeweller mentioned to him but it was in vain that he repeated it no Mr Hartley was to be heard of at Portsmouth except a pawnbroker At last a steward of one of the West Indiamen recollected that a gentleman of that name came over with him in the Effingham and that he talked of returning in the same vessel to the West Indies if he should ever leave England again
But we have heard nothing of him since sir said the steward No passage is taken for him with us
And my life to a china orange cried a sailor who was standing by hes gone to kingdom come or more likely to Bedlam afore this for he was plaguy crazy in his timbers and his head wanted righting I take it if it was he Jack who used to walk the deck you know with a bit of a picture in his hand to which he seemed to be mumbling his prayers from morning to night Theres no use in sounding for him master hes down in Davys locker long ago or stowed into the tight waistcoat before this time oday
Notwithstanding this knowing sailors opinion Clarence would not desist from his sounding because having so lately heard of him at different places he could not believe that he was gone either into Davys locker or to Bedlam He imagined that by some accident Mr Hartley had been detained upon the road to Portsmouth and in the expectation that he would certainly arrive before the fleet should sail Clarence waited with tolerable patience He waited however in vain he saw the Effingham and the whole fleet sail—no Mr Hartley arrived As he hailed one of the boats of the Effingham which was rowing out with some passengers who had been too late to get on board his friend the sailor answered Weve no crazy man here I told you master hed never go out no more in the Effingham Hes where I said master youll find or nowhere
Mr Hervey remained some days at Portsmouth after the fleet had sailed in hopes that he might yet obtain some information but none could be had neither could any farther tidings be obtained from the jeweller who had first mentioned Mr Hartley Despairing of success in the object of his journey he however determined to delay his return to town for some time in hopes that absence might efface the impression which had been made on the heart of Virginia He made a tour along the picturesque coasts of Dorset and Devonshire and it was during this excursion that he wrote the letters to Lady Delacour which have so often been mentioned He endeavoured to dissipate his thoughts by new scenes and employments but all his ideas involuntarily centred in Belinda If he saw new characters he compared them with hers or considered how far she would approve or condemn them The books that he read were perused with a constant reference to what she would think or feel and during his whole journey he never beheld any beautiful prospect without wishing that it could at the same instant be seen by Belinda If her name were mentioned but once in his letters it was because he dared not trust himself to speak of her she was for ever present to his mind but while he was writing to Lady Delacour her idea pressed more strongly upon his heart he recollected that it was she who first gave him a just insight into her ladyships real character he recollected that she had joined with him in the benevolent design of reconciling her to Lord Delacour and of creating in her mind a taste for domestic happiness This remembrance operated powerfully to excite him to fresh exertions and the eloquence which touched Lady Delacour so much in these edifying letters as she called them was in fact inspired by Belinda
Whenever he thought distinctly upon his future plans Virginias attachment and the hopes which he had imprudently inspired appeared insuperable obstacles to his union with Miss Portman but in more sanguine moments he flattered himself with a confused notion that these difficulties would vanish Great were his surprise and alarm when he received that letter of Lady Delacours in which she announced the probability of Belindas marriage with Mr Vincent In consequence of his moving from place to place in the course of his tour he did not receive this letter till nearly a fortnight after it should have come to his hands The instant he received it he set out on his way home he travelled with all that expedition which money can command in England his first thought and first wish when he arrived in town were to go to Lady Delacours but he checked his impatience and proceeded immediately to Twickenham to have his fate decided by Virginia It was with the most painful sensations that he saw her again The accounts which he received from Mrs Ormond convinced him that absence had produced none of the effects which he expected on the mind of her pupil Mrs Ormond was naturally both of an affectionate disposition and a timid temper she had become excessively fond of Virginia and her anxiety was more than in proportion to her love it sometimes balanced and even overbalanced her regard and respect for Clarence Hervey himself When he spoke of his attachment to Belinda and of his doubts respecting Virginia she could no longer restrain her emotion
Oh indeed Mr Hervey said she this is no time for reasoning and doubting No man in his senses no man who is not wilfully blind could doubt her being distractedly fond of you
I am sorry for it said Clarence
And why—oh why Mr Hervey Dont you recollect the time when you were all impatience to call her yours—when you thought her the most charming creature in the whole world
I had not seen Belinda Portman then
And I wish to Heaven you never had seen her But oh surely Mr Hervey you will not desert my Virginia—Must her health her happiness her reputation all be the sacrifice
Reputation Mrs Ormond
Reputation Mr Hervey you do not know in what a light she is considered here nor did I till lately But I tell you her reputation is injured—fatally injured It is whispered and more than whispered everywhere that she is your mistress A woman came here the other day with the bullfinch and she looked at me and spoke in such an extraordinary way that I was shocked more than I can express I need not tell you all the particulars it is enough that I have made inquiries and am sure too sure of what I say that nothing but your marriage with Virginia can save her reputation or—
Mrs Ormond stopped short for at this instant Virginia entered the room walking in her slow manner as if she were in a deep reverie
Since my return said Clarence in an embarrassed voice I have scarcely heard a syllable from Miss St Pierres lips
Miss St Pierre—He used to call me Virginia said she turning to Mrs Ormond he is angry with me—he used to call me Virginia
But you were a child then you know my love said Mrs Ormond
And I wish I was still a child said Virginia Then after a long pause she approached Mr Hervey with extreme timidity and opening a portfolio which lay on the table she said to him If you are at leisure—if I do not interrupt you—would you look at these drawings though they are not worth your seeing except as proofs that I can conquer my natural indolence
The drawings were views which she had painted from memory of scenes in the New Forest near her grandmothers cottage That cottage was drawn with an exactness that proved how fresh it was in her remembrance Many recollections rushed forcibly into Clarence Herveys mind at the sight of this cottage The charming image of Virginia as it first struck his fancy—the smile the innocent smile with which she offered him the finest rose in her basket—the stern voice in which her grandmother spoke to her—the prophetic fears of her protectress—the figure of the dying woman—the solemn promise he made to her—all recurred in rapid succession to his memory
You dont seem to like that said Virginia and then putting another drawing into his hands perhaps this may please you better
They are beautiful they are surprisingly well done exclaimed he
I knew he would like them I told you so cried Mrs Ormond in a triumphant tone
You see said Virginia that though you have heard scarcely a syllable from Miss St Pierres lips since your return yet she has not been unmindful of your wishes in your absence You told her some time ago that you wished she would try to improve in drawing She has done her best But do not trouble yourself to look at them any longer said Virginia taking one of her drawings from his hand I merely wanted to show you that though I have no genius I have some—
Her voice faltered so that she could not pronounce the word gratitude
Mrs Ormond pronounced it for her and added I can answer for it that Virginia is not ungrateful
Ungrateful repeated Clarence who ever thought her so Why did you put these ideas into her mind
Virginia resting her head on Mrs Ormonds shoulder wept bitterly
You have worked upon her sensibility till you have made her miserable cried Clarence angrily Virginia listen to me look at me said he affectionately taking her hand but she pressed closer to Mrs Ormond and would not raise her head Do not consider me as your master—your tyrant do not imagine that I think you ungrateful
Oh I am—I am—I am ungrateful to you cried she sobbing but Mrs Ormond never told me so do not blame her she has never worked upon my sensibility Do you think said she looking up while a transient expression of indignation passed over her countenance do you think I cannot feel without having been taught
Clarence uttered a deep sigh
But if you feel too much my dearest Virginia—if you give way to your feelings in this manner said Mrs Ormond you will make both yourself and Mr Hervey unhappy
Heaven forbid The first wish of my soul is— She paused I should be the most ungrateful wretch in the world if I were to make him unhappy
But if he sees you miserable Virginia
Then he shall not see it said she wiping the tears from her face
To imagine that you were unhappy and that you concealed it from us would be still worse said Clarence
But why should you imagine it replied Virginia you are too good too kind but do not fancy that I am not happy I am sure I ought to be happy
Do you regret your cottage said Clarence these drawings show how well you remember it
Virginia coloured and with some hesitation answered Is it my fault if I cannot forget
You were happier then Virginia than you are now you will confess said Mrs Ormond who was not a woman of refined delicacy and who thought that the best chance she had of working upon Mr Herveys sense of honour was by making it plain to him how much her pupils affections were engaged
Virginia made no answer to this question and her silence touched Clarence more than any thing she could have said When Mrs Ormond repeated her question he relieved the trembling girl by saying My dear Mrs Ormond confidence must be won not demanded
I have no right to insist upon confessions I know said Mrs Ormond but—
Confessions I do not wish to conceal any thing but I think sincerity is not always in our sex consistent with—I mean—I dont know what I mean what I say or what I ought to say cried Virginia and she sunk down on a sofa in extreme confusion
Why will you agitate her Mrs Ormond in this manner said Mr Hervey with an expression of sudden anger It was succeeded by a look of such tender compassion for Virginia that Mrs Ormond rejoiced to have excited his anger at any price she wished to serve her beloved pupil
Do not be in the least apprehensive my dear Virginia that we should take ungenerous advantage of the openness and simplicity of your character said Mr Hervey
Oh no no I cannot do not apprehend any thing ungenerous from you you are you ever have been my best my most generous friend But I fear that I have not the simplicity of character the openness that you imagine and yet I am sure I wish from the bottom of my heart—I wish to do right if I knew how But there is not one—no not one—person in the whole world continued she her eyes moving from Mrs Ormond to Mr Hervey and from him to Mrs Ormond again not one person in the whole world I dare—I ought—to lay my heart open to I have perhaps said more than is proper already But this I know added she in a firm tone rising and addressing herself to Clarence you shall never be made unhappy by me And do not think about my happiness so much said she forcing a smile I am I will be perfectly happy Only let me always know your wishes your sentiments your feelings and by them I will as I ought regulate mine
Amiable charming generous girl cried Clarence
Take care said Mrs Ormond take care Virginia lest you promise more than you can perform Wishes and feelings and sentiments are not to be so easily regulated
I did not I believe say it was easy but I hope it is possible replied Virginia I promise nothing but what I am able to perform
I doubt it said Mrs Ormond shaking her head You are—you will be perfectly happy Oh Virginia my love do not deceive yourself do not deceive us so terribly I am sorry to put you to the blush but—
Not a word more my dear madam I beg—I insist said Mr Hervey in a commanding tone but for the first time in her life regardless of him she persisted
I only ask you to call to mind my dearest Virginia said she taking her hand the morning that you screamed in your sleep the morning when you told me the frightful dream—were you perfectly happy then
It is easy to force my thoughts from me said Virginia withdrawing her hand from Mrs Ormond but it is cruel to do so And with an air of offended dignity she passed them and quitted the room
I wish to Heaven exclaimed Mrs Ormond that Miss Portman was married and out of the way—I shall never forgive myself We have used this poor girl cruelly amongst us she loves you to distraction and I have encouraged her passion and I have betrayed her—oh fool that I was I told her that she would certainly be your wife
You have told her so—Did I not charge you Mrs Ormond——
Yes but I could not help it when I saw the sweet girl fading away—and besides I am sure she thought it from your manner long and long before I told it to her Do you forget how fond of her you were scarce one short year ago And do you forget how plainly you let her see your passion Oh how can you blame her if she loves you and if she is unhappy
I blame no one but myself cried Clarence I must abide by the consequences of my own folly Unhappy—she shall not be unhappy she does not deserve to be so
He walked backward and forward with hasty steps for some minutes then sat down and wrote a letter to Virginia
When he had finished it he put it into Mrs Ormonds hands
Read it—seal it—give it to her—and let her answer be sent to town to me at Dr Xs in Cliffordstreet
Mrs Ormond clasped her hands in an ecstasy of joy as she glanced her eye over the letter for it contained an offer of his hand
This is like yourself like what I always knew you to be dear Mr Hervey she exclaimed
But her exclamation was lost upon him When she looked up to repeat her praises she perceived he was gone After the effort which he had made he wished for time to tranquillize his mind before he should again see Virginia What her answer to this letter would be he could not doubt his fate was now decided and he determined immediately to write to Lady Delacour to explain his situation he felt that he had not sufficient fortitude at this moment to make such an explanation in person With all the strength of his mind he endeavoured to exclude Belinda from his thoughts but curiosity—for he would suffer himself to call it by no other name—curiosity to know whether she were actually engaged to Mr Vincent obtruded itself with such force that it could not be resisted
From Dr X—— he thought he could obtain full information and he hastened immediately to town When he got to Cliffordstreet he found that the doctor was not at home his servant said he might probably be met with at Mrs Margaret Delacours as he usually finished his morning rounds at her house Thither Mr Hervey immediately went
The first sound that he heard as he went up her stairs was the screaming of a macaw and the first person he saw through the open door of the drawingroom was Helena Delacour She was standing with her back to him leaning over the macaws cage and he heard her say in a joyful tone Yes though you do scream so frightfully my pretty macaw I love you as well as Marriott ever did When my dear good Miss Portman sent this macaw—My dear aunt heres Mr Hervey—you were just wishing to see him
Mr Hervey said the old lady with a benevolent smile your little friend Helena tells you truth we were just wishing for you I am sure it will give you pleasure to hear that I am at last a convert to your opinion of Lady Delacour She has given up all those that I used to call her rantipole acquaintance She has reconciled herself to her husband and to his friends and Helena is to go home to live with her Here is a charming note I have just received from her Dine with me on Thursday next and you will meet her ladyship and see a happy family party You have had some share in the reformation I know and that was the reason I wished that you should be with us on Thursday You see I am not an obstinate old woman though I was cross the first day I saw you at Lady Anne Percivals I found I was mistaken in your character and I am glad of it But this note of Lady Delacours seems to have struck you dumb
There were indeed a few words in this note which deprived him for some moments of all power of utterance
The report you have heard unlike most other reports is perfectly well founded Mr Vincent Belindas admirer is here I will bring him with us on Thursday
Mr Hervey was relieved from the necessity of accounting to Mrs Delacour for his sudden embarrassment by the entrance of Dr X—— and another gentleman of whom in the confusion of his mind Clarence did not at first take any notice Dr X—— with his usual mixture of benevolence and raillery addressed himself to Clarence whilst the stranger took out of his pocket some papers and in a low voice entered earnestly into conversation with Mrs Delacour
Now tell me if you can Clarence said Dr X—— which of your three mistresses you like best I think I left you some months ago in great doubt upon this subject are you still in that philosophic state
No said Clarence all doubts are over—I am going to be married
Bravo—But you look as if you were going to be hanged May I as it will so soon be in the newspaper may I ask the name of the fair lady
Virginia St Pierre You shall know her history and mine when we are alone said Mr Hervey lowering his voice
You need not lower your voice said Dr X—— for Mrs Delacour is as you see so much taken up with her own affairs that she has no curiosity for those of her neighbours and Mr Hartley is as busy as—
Mr who Mr Hartley did you say interrupted Clarence eagerly turning his eyes upon the stranger who was a middleaged gentleman exactly answering the description of the person who had been at the Asylum in search of his daughter
Mr Hartley yes What astonishes you so much said X—— calmly He is a West Indian I met him in Cambridgeshire last summer at his friend Mr Hortons he has been very generous to the poor people who suffered by the fire and he is now consulting with Mrs Delacour who has an estate adjoining to Mr Hortons about her tenants whose houses in the village were burnt Now I have in as few words and parentheses as possible told you all I know of Mr Hartleys history but your curiosity still looks voracious
I want to know whether he has a miniature said Clarence hastily Introduce me to him for Heavens sake directly
Mr Hartley cried the doctor raising his voice give me leave to introduce my friend Mr Hervey to you and to your miniature picture if you have one
Mr Hartley sighed profoundly as he drew from his bosom a small portrait which he put into Mr Herveys hands saying Alas sir you cannot I fear give me any tidings of the original it is the picture of a daughter whom I have never seen since she was an infant—whom I never shall see again
Clarence instantly knew it to be Virginia but as he was upon the point of making some joyful exclamation he felt Dr X—— touch his shoulder and looking up at Mr Hartley he saw in his countenance such strong workings of passion that he prudently suppressed his own emotion and calmly said It would be cruel sir to give you false hopes
It would kill me—it would kill me sir—or worse—worse a thousand times worse cried Mr Hartley putting his hand to his forehead What continued he impatiently what was the meaning of the look you gave when you first saw that picture Speak if you have any humanity Did you ever see any one that resembles that picture
I have seen I think a picture said Clarence Hervey that has some resemblance to it
When where—
My good sir said Dr X—— let me recommend it to you to consider that there is scarcely any possibility of judging from the features of children of what their faces may be when they grow up Nothing can be more fallacious than these accidental resemblances between the pictures of children and of grownup people
Mr Hartleys countenance fell
But added Clarence Hervey you will perhaps sir think it worth your while to see the picture of which I speak you can see it at Mr F——s the painter in Newmanstreet and I will accompany you thither whenever you please
This moment if you would have the goodness my carriage is at the door and Mrs Delacour will be so kind to excuse ——
Oh make no apologies to me at such a time as this said Mrs Delacour Away with you gentlemen as soon as you please upon condition that if you have any good news to tell some of you will remember in the midst of your joy that such an old woman as Mrs Margaret Delacour exists who loves to hear good news of those who deserve it
It was so late in the day when they got to Newmanstreet that they were obliged to light candles Trembling with eagerness Mr Hartley drew near while Clarence held the light to the picture
It is so like said he looking at his miniature that I dare not believe my senses Dr X—— pray do you look My head is so dizzy and my eyes so——What do you think sir What do you say doctor
That the likeness is certainly striking—but this seems to be a fancy piece
A fancy piece repeated Mr Hartley with terror why then did you bring me here—A fancy piece
No sir it is a portrait said Clarence and if you will be calm I will tell you more
I will be calm—only is she alive
The lady of whom this is the portrait is alive replied Clarence Hervey who was obliged to exert his utmost command over himself to maintain that composure which he saw was necessary the lady of whom this is the portrait is alive and you shall see her tomorrow
Oh why not now Cannot I see her now I must see her tonight—this instant sir
It is impossible said Mr Hervey that you should see her this instant for she is some miles off at Twickenham
It is too late to go thither now you cannot think of it Mr Hartley continued Dr X—— in a tone of command to which he yielded more readily than to reason
Clarence had the presence of mind to recollect that it would be necessary to prepare poor Virginia for this meeting and he sent a messenger immediately to request that Mrs Ormond would communicate the intelligence with all the caution in her power
The next morning Mr Hartley and Mr Hervey set off together for Twickenham In their way thither Clarence gradually confirmed Mr Hartley in the belief that Virginia was his daughter by relating all the circumstances that he had learned from her grandmother and from Mrs Smith the farmers wife with whom she had formerly been acquainted the name the age every particular as it was disclosed heightened his security and his joy
For some time Mr Hartleys mind was so intent that he could not listen to any thing but at last Clarence engaged his attention and suspended his anxiety by giving him a history of his own connexion with Virginia from the day of his first discovering her in the New Forest to the letter which he had just written to offer her his hand The partiality which it was suspected Virginia felt for him was the only circumstance which he suppressed because notwithstanding all Mrs Ormond had said and all he had himself heard and seen his obstinate incredulity required confirmation under her own hand or positively from her own lips He still fancied it was possible that change of situation might alter her views and sentiments and he earnestly entreated that she might be left entirely to her own decision It was necessary to make this stipulation with her father for in the excess of his gratitude for the kindness which Clarence had shown to her he protested that he should look upon her as a monster if she did not love him he added that if Mr Hervey had not a farthing he should prefer him to every man upon earth he however promised that he would conceal his wishes and that his daughter should act entirely from the dictates of her own mind In the fulness of his heart he told Clarence all those circumstances of his conduct towards Virginias mother which had filled his soul with remorse She was scarcely sixteen when he ran away with her from a boardingschool he was at that time a gay officer she a sentimental girl who had been spoiled by early novelreading Her father had a small place at court lived beyond his fortune educated his daughter to whom he could give no portion as if she were to be heiress to a large estate then died and left his widow absolutely in penury This widow was the old lady who lived in the cottage in the New Forest It was just at the time of her husbands death and of her own distress that she heard of the elopement of her daughter from school Mr Hartleys parents were so much incensed by the match that he was prevailed upon to separate from his wife and to go abroad to push his fortune in the army His marriage had been secret his own friends disavowed it notwithstanding the repeated urgent entreaties of his wife and of her mother who was her only surviving relation His wife on her deathbed wrote to urge him to take charge of his daughter and to make the appeal stronger to his feelings she sent him a picture of his little girl who was then about four years old Mr Hartley however was intent upon forming a new connexion with the rich widow of a planter in Jamaica He married the widow took possession of her fortune and all his affections soon were fixed upon a son for whom he formed even from the moment of his birth various schemes of aggrandizement The boy lived till he was about ten years old when he caught a fever which at that time raged in Jamaica and after a few days illness died His mother was carried off by the same disease and Mr Hartley left alone in the midst of his wealth felt how insufficient it was to happiness Remorse now seized him he returned to England in search of his deserted daughter To this neglected child he now looked forward for the peace and happiness of the remainder of his life Disappointment in all his inquiries for some months preyed upon his spirits to such a degree that his intellects were at times disordered this derangement was the cause of his not sooner recovering his child He was in confinement during the time that Clarence Herveys advertisements were inserted in the papers and his illness was also the cause of his not going to Portsmouth and sailing in the Effingham as he had originally intended The history of his connexion with Mr Horton would be uninteresting to the reader it is enough to say that he was prevailed upon by that gentleman to spend some time in the country with him for the recovery of his health and it was there that he became acquainted with Dr X—— who introduced him as we have seen to Mrs Margaret Delacour at whose house he met Clarence Hervey This is the most succinct account that we can give of him and his affairs His own account was ten times as long but we spare our readers his incoherences and reflections because perhaps they are in a hurry to get to Twickenham and to hear of his meeting with Virginia
Mrs Ormond found it no easy task to prepare Virginia for the sight of Mr Hartley Virginia had scarcely ever spoken of her father but the remembrance of things which she had heard of him from her grandmother was fresh in her mind she had often pictured him in her fancy and she had secretly nourished the hope that she should not for ever be a deserted child Mrs Ormond had observed that in those romances of which she was so fond every thing that related to children who were deserted by their parents affected her strongly
The belief in what the French call la force du sang was suited to her affectionate temper and ardent imagination and it had taken full possession of her mind The eloquence of romance persuaded her that she should not only discover but love her father with intuitive filial piety and she longed to experience those yearnings of affection of which she had read so much
The first moment that Mrs Ormond began to speak of Mr Clarence Herveys hopes of discovering her father she was transported with joy
My father—How delightful that word father sounds—My father—May I say my father—And will he own me and will he love me and will he give me his blessing and will he fold me in his arms and call me his daughter his dear daughter—Oh how I shall love him I will make it the whole business of my life to please him
The whole business said Mrs Ormond smiling
Not the whole said Virginia I hope my father will like Mr Hervey Did not you say that he is rich I wish that my father may be very rich
That is the last wish that I should have expected to hear from you my Virginia
But do you not know why I wish it—that I may show my gratitude to Mr Hervey
My dear child said Mrs Ormond these are most generous sentiments and worthy of you but do not let your imagination run away with you at this rate—Mr Hervey is rich enough
I wish he were poor said Virginia that I might make him rich
He would not love you the better my dear said Mrs Ormond if you had the wealth of the Indies Perhaps your father may not be rich therefore do not set your heart upon this idea
Virginia sighed fear succeeded to hope and her imagination immediately reversed the bright picture that it had drawn
But I am afraid said she that this gentleman is not my father—how disappointed I shall be I wish you had never told me all this my dear Mrs Ormond
I would not have told it to you if Mr Hervey had not desired that I should and you maybe sure he would not have desired it unless he had good reason to believe that you would not be disappointed
But he is not sure—he does not say he is quite sure And even if I were quite certain of his being my father how can I be certain that he will not disown me—he who has deserted me so long My grandmother I remember often used to say that he had no natural affection
Your grandmother was mistaken then for he has been searching for his child all over England Mr Hervey says and he has almost lost his senses with grief and with remorse
Remorse
Yes remorse for having so long deserted you he fears that you will hate him
Hate him—is it possible to hate a father said Virginia
He dreads that you should never forgive him
Forgive him—I have read of parents forgiving their children but I never remember to have read of a daughter forgiving her father Forgive you should not have used that word I cannot forgive my father but I can love him and I will make him quite forget all his sorrows—I mean all his sorrows about me
After this conversation Virginia spent her time in imagining what sort of person her father would be whether he was like Mr Hervey what words he would say where he would sit whether he would sit beside her and above all whether he would give her his blessing
I am afraid said she of liking my father better than any body else
No danger of that my dear said Mrs Ormond smiling
I am glad of it for it would be very wrong and ungrateful to like any thing in this world so well as Mr Hervey
The carriage now came to the door Mrs Ormond instantly ran to the window but Virginia had not power to move—her heart beat violently
Is he come said she
Yes he is getting out of the carriage this moment
Virginia stood with her eyes eagerly fixed upon the door Hark said she laying her hand upon Mrs Ormonds arm to prevent her from moving Hush that we may hear his voice
She was breathless—no voice was to be heard They are not coming said she turning as pale as death An instant afterwards her colour returned—she heard the steps of two people coming up the stairs
His step—Do you hear it—Is it my father
Virginias imagination was worked to the highest pitch she could scarcely sustain herself Mrs Ormond supported her At this instant her father appeared
My child—the image of her mother exclaimed he stopping short he sunk upon a chair
My father cried Virginia springing forward and throwing herself at his feet
The voice of her mother said Mr Hartley My daughter—My long lost child
He tried to raise her but could not her arms were clasped round his knee her face rested upon it and when he stooped to kiss her cheek he found it cold—she had fainted
When she came to her senses and found herself in her fathers arms she could scarcely believe that it was not a dream
Your blessing—give me your blessing and then I shall know that you are indeed my father cried Virginia kneeling to him and looking up with an enthusiastic expression of filial piety in her countenance
God bless you my sweet child said he laying his hand upon her and God forgive your father
My grandmother died without giving me her blessing said Virginia but now I have been blessed by my father Happy happy moment—O that she could look down from heaven and see us at this instant
Virginia was so much astonished and overpowered by this sudden discovery of a parent and by the novelty of his first caresses that after the first violent effervescence of her sensibility was over she might to an indifferent spectator have appeared stupid and insensible Mrs Ormond though far from an indifferent spectator was by no means a penetrating judge of the human heart she seldom saw more than the external symptoms of feeling and she was apt to be rather impatient with her friends if theirs did not accord with her own
Virginia my dear said she in rather a reproachful tone Mr Hervey you see has left the room on purpose to leave you at full liberty to talk to your father and I am going—but you are so silent
I have so much to say and my heart is so full said Virginia
Yes I know you told me of a thousand things that you had to say to your father before you saw him
But now I see him I have forgotten them all I can think of nothing but of him
Of him and Mr Hervey said Mrs Ormond
I was not thinking of Mr Hervey at that moment said Virginia blushing
Well my love I will leave you to think and talk of what you please said Mrs Ormond smiling significantly as she left the room
Mr Hartley folded his daughter in his arms with the fondest expressions of parental affection and he was upon the point of telling her how much he approved of the choice of her heart but he recollected his promise and he determined to sound her inclinations farther before he even mentioned the name of Clarence Hervey
He began by painting the pleasures of the world that world from which she had hitherto been secluded
She heard him with simple indifference not even her curiosity was excited
He observed that though she had no curiosity to see it was natural that she must have some pleasure in the thoughts of being seen
What pleasure said Virginia
The pleasure of being admired and loved beauty and grace such as yours my child cannot be seen without commanding admiration and love
I do not want to be admired replied Virginia and I want to be loved by those only whom I love
My dearest daughter you shall be entirely your own mistress I will never interfere either directly or indirectly in the disposal of your heart
At these last words Virginia who had listened to all the rest unmoved took her fathers hand and kissed it repeatedly
Now that I have found you my darling child let me at least make you happy if I can—it is the only atonement in my power it will be the only solace of my declining years All that wealth can bestow—
Wealth interrupted Virginia then you have wealth
Yes my child—may it make you happy that is all the enjoyment I expect from it it shall all be yours
And may I do what I please with it—Oh then it will indeed make me happy I will give it all all to Mr Hervey How delightful to have something to give to Mr Hervey
And had you never any thing to give to Mr Hervey till now
Never never he has given me every thing Now—oh joyful day—I can prove to him that Virginia is not ungrateful
Dear generous girl said her father wiping the tears from his eyes what a daughter have I found But tell me my child continued he smiling do you think Mr Hervey will be content if you give him only your fortune Do you think that he would accept the fortune without the heart Nay do not turn away that dear blushing face from me remember it is your father who speaks to you Mr Hervey will not take your fortune without yourself I am afraid what shall we do Must I refuse him your hand
Refuse him do you think that I could refuse him any thing who has given me every thing—I should be a monster indeed There is no sacrifice I would not make no exertion of which I am not capable for Mr Herveys sake But my dear father said she changing her tone he never asked for my hand till yesterday
But he had won your heart long ago I see thought her father
I have written an answer to his letter will you look at it and tell me if you approve of it
I do approve of it my darling child I will not read it—I know what it must be he has a right to the preference he has so nobly earned
Oh he has—he has indeed cried Virginia with an expression of strong feeling and now is the time to show him that I am not ungrateful
How I love you for this my child cried her father fondly embracing her This is exactly what I wished though I did not dare to say so till I was sure of your sentiments Mr Hervey charged me to leave you entirely to yourself he thought that your new situation might perhaps produce some change in your sentiments I see he was mistaken and I am heartily glad of it But you are going to say something my dear do not let me interrupt you
I was only going to beg that you would give this letter my dear father to Mr Hervey It is an answer to one which he wrote to me when I was poor—and deserted she was near saying but she stopped herself
I wish continued she Mr Hervey should know that my sentiments are precisely the same now that they have always been Tell him added she proudly that he did me injustice by imagining that my sentiments could alter with my situation He little knows Virginia Clarence at this moment entered the room and Mr Hartley eagerly led his daughter to meet him
Take her hand cried he you have her heart—you deserve it and she has just been very angry with me for doubting But read her letter—that will speak better for her and more to your satisfaction no doubt than I can
Virginia hastily put the letter into Mr Herveys hand and breaking from her father retired to her own apartment
With all the trepidation of a person who feels that the happiness of his life is to be decided in a few moments Clarence tore open Virginias letter and conscious that he was not able to command his emotion he withdrew from her fathers inquiring eyes Mr Hartley however saw nothing in this agitation but what he thought natural to a lover and he was delighted to perceive that his daughter had inspired so strong a passion
Virginias letter contained but these few lines
Most happy shall I be if the whole of my future life can prove to you how deeply I feel your goodness
VIRGINIA ST PIERRE
End of C Herveys packet
An acceptance so direct left Clarence no alternative his fate was decided He determined immediately to force himself to see Belinda and Mr Vincent for he fancied that his mind would be more at ease when he had convinced himself by ocular demonstration that she was absolutely engaged to another that consequently even if he were free he could have no chance of gaining her affections There are moments when we desire the conviction which at another time would overwhelm us with despair it was in this temper that Mr Hervey paid his visit to Lady Delacour but we have seen that he was unable to support for many minutes that philosophic composure to which at his first entrance into the room he had worked up his mind The tranquillity which he had expected would be the consequence of this visit he was farther than ever from obtaining The extravagant joy with which Lady Delacour received him and an indescribable something in her manner when she looked from him to Belinda and from Belinda to Mr Vincent persuaded him her ladyship wished that he were in Mr Vincents place The idea was so delightful that his soul was entranced and for a few minutes Virginia and every thing that related to her vanished from his remembrance It was whilst he was in this state that Lady Delacour as the reader may recollect invited him into her lords dressingroom to tell her the contents of the packet which had not then reached her hands The request suddenly recalled him to his senses but he felt that he was not at this moment able to trust himself to her ladyships penetration he therefore referred her to his letter for that explanation which he dreaded to make in person and he escaped from Belindas presence resolving never more to expose himself to such danger
What effect his packet produced on Lady Delacours mind and on Belindas we shall not at present stop to inquire but having brought up Clarence Herveys affairs to the present day we shall continue his history
CHAPTER XXVIII — E O
Though Clarence Hervey was not much disposed to see either Virginia or her father whilst he was in the state of perturbation into which he had been thrown by his interview with Belinda yet he did not delay to send his servant home with a note to Mrs Ormond to say that he would meet Mr Hartley whenever he pleased at his lawyers to make whatever arrangements might be necessary for proper settlements
As he saw no possibility of receding with honour he with becoming resolution desired to urge things forward as fast as possible and to strengthen in his mind the sense of the necessity of the sacrifice that he was bound to make His passions were naturally impetuous but he had by persevering efforts brought them under the subjection of his reason His power over himself was now to be put to a severe trial
As he was going to town he met Lord Delacour who was riding in the park he was extremely intent upon his own thoughts and was anxious to pass unnoticed In former times this would have been the most feasible thing imaginable for Lord Delacour used to detest the sight of Clarence Hervey whom he considered as the successor of Colonel Lawless in his ladys favour but his opinion and his feelings had been entirely changed by the perusal of those letters which were perfumed with ottar of roses even this perfume had from that association become agreeable to him He now accosted Clarence with a warmth and cordiality in his manner that at any other moment must have pleased as much as it surprised him but Clarence was not in a humour to enter into conversation
You seem to be in haste Mr Hervey said his lordship observing his impatience but as I know your goodnature I shall make no scruple to detain you a quarter of an hour
As he spoke he turned his horse and rode with Clarence who looked as if he wished that his lordship had been more scrupulous and that he had not such a reputation for goodnature
You will not refuse me this quarter of an hour I am sure continued Lord Delacour when you hear that by favouring me with your attention you may perhaps materially serve an old or rather a young friend of yours and one whom I once fancied was a particular favourite—I mean Miss Belinda Portman
At the name of Belinda Portman Clarence Hervey became all attention he assured his lordship that he was in no haste and all his difficulty now was to moderate the eagerness of his curiosity
We can take a turn or two in the park as well as any where said his lordship nobody will overhear us and the sooner you know what I have to say the better
Certainly said Clarence
The most malevolent person upon earth could not have tired poor Clarences patience more than goodnatured Lord Delacour contrived to do with the best intentions possible by his habitual circumlocution
He descanted at length upon the difficulties as the world goes of meeting with a confidential friend whom it is prudent to trust in any affair that demands delicacy honour and address Men of talents were often he observed devoid of integrity and men of integrity devoid of talents When he had obtained Herveys assent to this proposition he next paid him sundry handsome but longwinded compliments then he complimented himself for having just thought of Mr Hervey as the fittest person he could apply to then he congratulated himself upon his good luck in meeting with the very man he was just thinking of At last after Clarence had returned thanks for all his kindness and had given assent to all his lordships truisms the substance of the business came out
Lord Delacour informed Mr Hervey that he had been lately commissioned by Lady Delacour to discover what attractions drew a Mr Vincent so constantly to Mrs Luttridges——
Here he was going to explain who Mr Vincent was but Clarence assured him that he knew perfectly well that he had been a ward of Mr Percivals that he was a West Indian of large fortune c
And a lover of Miss Portmans—that is the most material part of the story to me continued Lord Delacour for otherwise you know Mr Vincent would be no more to me than any other gentleman But in that point of view—I mean as a lover of Belinda Portman and I may say not quite unlikely to be her husband—he is highly interesting to my Lady Delacour and to me and to you as Miss Portmans wellwisher doubtless
Doubtless was all Mr Hervey could reply
Now you must know continued his lordship that Lady Delacour has for a woman an uncommon share of penetration and can put things together in a wonderful way in short it has come to her my Lady Delacours knowledge that before Miss Portman was at Oaklypark last summer and after she left it this autumn Mr Vincent was a constant visitor at Mrs Luttridges whilst at Harrowgate and used to play high though unknown to the Percivals of course at billiards with Mr Luttridge—a man I confess I disliked always even when I carried the election for them But no matter it is not from enmity I speak now But it is very well known that Luttridge has but a small fortune and yet lives as if he had a large one and all the young men who like high play are sure to be well received at his house Now I hope Mr Vincent is not well received on that footing
Since my Lady Delacour and I have been such good friends continued his lordship I have dropped all connexion with the Luttridges so cannot go there myself moreover I do not wish to be tempted to lose any more thousands to the lady But you never play and you are not likely to be tempted to it now so you will oblige me and Lady Delacour if you will go to Luttridges tonight she is always charmed to see you and you will easily discover how the land lies Mr Vincent is certainly a very agreeable openhearted young man but if he game God forbid that Miss Portman should ever be his wife
God forbid said Clarence Hervey
The man resumed Lord Delacour must in my opinion be very superior indeed who is deserving of Belinda Portman Oh Mr Hervey you do not—you cannot know her merit as I do It is one thing sir to see a fine girl in a ballroom and another—quite another—to live in the house with her for months and to see her as I have seen Belinda Portman in everyday life as one may call it Then it is one can judge of the real temper manners and character and never woman had so sweet a temper such charming manners such a fair open generous decided yet gentle character as this Miss Portman
Your lordship speaks con amore said Clarence
I speak Mr Hervey from the bottom of my soul cried Lord Delacour pulling in his horse and stopping short I should be an unfeeling ungrateful brute if I were not sensible of the obligations—yes the obligations—which my Lady Delacour and I have received from Belinda Portman Why sir she has been the peacemaker between us—but we will not talk of that now Let us think of her affairs If Mr Vincent once gets into Mrs Luttridges cursed set theres no knowing where it will end I speak from my own experience for I really never was fond of high play and yet when I got into that set I could not withstand it I lost by hundreds and thousands and so will he before he is aware of it no doubt Mrs Luttridge will look upon him as her dupe and make him such I always—but this is between ourselves—suspected that I did not lose my last thousand to her fairly Now Hervey you know the whole do try and save Mr Vincent for Belinda Portmans sake
Clarence Hervey shook hands with Lord Delacour with a sentiment of real gratitude and affection and assured him that his confidence was not misplaced His lordship little suspected that he had been soliciting him to save his rival Clarences love was not of that selfish sort which the moment that it is deprived of hope sinks into indifference or is converted into hatred Belinda could not be his but in the midst of the bitterest regret he was supported by the consciousness of his own honour and generosity he felt a noble species of delight in the prospect of promoting the happiness of the woman upon whom his fondest affections had been fixed and he rejoiced to feel that he had sufficient magnanimity to save a rival from ruin He was even determined to make that rival his friend notwithstanding the prepossession which he clearly perceived Mr Vincent felt against him
His jealousy will be extinguished the moment he knows my real situation said Clarence to himself He will be convinced that I have a soul incapable of envy and if he suspect my love for Belinda he will respect the strength of mind with which I can command my passions I take it for granted that Mr Vincent must possess a heart and understanding such as I should desire in a friend or he could never be—what he is to Belinda
Full of these generous sentiments Clarence waited with impatience for the hour when he might present himself at Mrs Luttridges He went there so early in the evening that he found the drawingroom quite empty the company who had been invited to dine had not yet left the diningroom and the servants had but just set the cardtables and lighted the candles Mr Hervey desired that nobody should be disturbed by his coming so early and fortunately Mrs Luttridge was detained some minutes by Lady Newlands lingering glass of Madeira In the mean time Clarence executed his design From his former observations and from the hints that Lord Delacour had let fall he suspected that there was sometimes in this house not only high play but foul play he recollected that once when he played there at billiards he had perceived that the table was not perfectly horizontal and it occurred to him that perhaps the E O table might be so contrived as to put the fortunes of all who played at it in the power of the proprietor Clarence had sufficient ingenuity to invent the method by which this might be done and he had the infallible means in his possession of detecting the fraud The E O table was in an apartment adjoining to the drawingroom he found his way to it and he discovered beyond a possibility of doubt that it was constructed for the purposes of fraud His first impulse was to tell this immediately to Mr Vincent to put him on his guard but upon reflection he determined to keep his discovery to himself till he was satisfied whether that gentleman had or had not any passion for play
If he have thought Clarence it is of the utmost consequence to Miss Portman that he should early in life receive a shock that may leave an indelible impression upon his mind To save him a few hours of remorse I will not give up the power of doing him the most essential service I will let him go on—if he be so inclined—to the very verge of ruin and despair I will let him feel all the horrors of a gamesters fate before I tell him that I have the means to save him Mrs Luttridge must when I call upon her refund whatever he may lose she will not brave public shame—she cannot stand a public prosecution
Scarcely had Clarence arranged his scheme when he heard the voices of the ladies who were coming up stairs
Mrs Luttridge made her appearance accompanied by a very pretty modish affected young lady Miss Annabella Luttridge her niece Her little coquettish airs were lost upon Clarence Hervey whose eye was intently fixed upon the door watching for the entrance of Mr Vincent He was one of the dinner party and he came up soon after the ladies He seemed prepared for the sight of Mr Hervey to whom he bowed with a cold haughty air and then addressed himself to Miss Annabella Luttridge who showed the most obvious desire to attract his attention
From all that passed this evening Mr Hervey was led to suspect notwithstanding the reasons which made it apparently improbable that the fair Annabella was the secret cause of Mr Vincents frequent visits at her aunts It was natural that Clarence should be disposed to this opinion from the circumstances of his own situation During three hours that he stayed at Mrs Luttridges Mr Vincent never joined any of the parties at play but just as he was going away he heard some one say—How comes it Vincent that youve been idle all night This question revived Mr Herveys suspicions and uncertain what report he should make to Lord Delacour he resolved to defer making any till he had farther opportunities of judging
When Mr Hervey asked himself how it was possible that the pupil of Mr Percival could become a gamester he forgot that Mr Vincent had not been educated by his guardian that he had lived in the West Indies till he was eighteen and that he had only been under the care of Mr Percival for a few years after his habits and character were in a great measure formed The taste for gambling he had acquired whilst he was a child but as it was then confined to trifles it had been passed over as a thing of no consequence a boyish folly that would never grow up with him his father used to see him day after day playing with eagerness at games of chance with his negroes or with the sons of neighbouring planters yet he was never alarmed he was too intent upon making a fortune for his family to consider how they would spend it and he did not foresee that this boyish fault might be the means of his sons losing in a few hours the wealth which he had been many years amassing When young Vincent came over to England Mr Percival had not immediate opportunities of discovering this particular foible in his ward but he perceived that in his mind there was that presumptuous belief in his special good fortune which naturally leads to the love of gambling Instead of lecturing him his guardian appealed to his understanding and took opportunities of showing him the ruinous effects of high play in real life Young Vincent was touched and as he thought convinced but his emotion was stronger than his conviction—his feelings were always more powerful than his reason His detestation of the selfish character of a gamester was felt and expressed with enthusiasm and eloquence and his indignation rose afterwards at the slightest hint that he might ever in future be tempted to become what he abhorred Unfortunately he disdained prudence as the factitious virtue of inferior minds he thought that the feelings of a man of honour were to be his guide in the first and last appeal and for his conduct through life as a man and as a gentleman he proudly professed to trust to the sublime instinct of a good heart His guardians doubts of the infallibility and even of the existence of this moral instinct wounded Mr Vincents pride instead of alarming his understanding and he was rather eager than averse to expose himself to the danger that he might prove his superiority to the temptation How different are the feelings in different situations Yet often as this has been repeated how difficult it is to impress the truth upon inexperienced sanguine minds—Whilst young Vincent was immediately under his guardians eye at Oaklypark his safety from vice appeared to him inglorious he was impatient to sally forth into the world confident rather of his innate than acquired virtue
When he first became acquainted with Mrs Luttridge at Harrowgate he knew that she was a professed gambler and he despised the character yet without reflecting on the danger or perhaps for the pleasure of convincing Mr Percival that he was superior to it he continued his visits For some time he was a passive spectator Billiards however was a game of address not chance there was a billiardtable at Oaklypark as well as at Mr Luttridges and he had played with his guardian Why then should he not play with Mr Luttridge He did play his skill was admired he betted and his bets were successful but he did not call this gaming for the bets were not to any great amount and it was only playing at billiards Mr Percival was delayed in town some weeks longer than usual and he knew nothing of the manner in which his young friend spent his time As soon as Mr Vincent heard of his arrival at Oaklypark he left half finished his game at billiards and fortunately for him the charms of Belinda made him forget for some months that such a thing as a billiardtable existed All that had happened at Mr Luttridges passed from his mind as a dream and whilst his heart was agitated by his new passion he could scarcely believe that he had ever been interested by any other feelings He was surprised when he accidentally recollected the eagerness with which he used to amuse himself in Mr Luttridges company but he was certain that all this was passed for ever and precisely because he was under the dominion of one strong passion he thought he could never be under the dominion of another Thus persisting in his disdain of reason as a moral guide Mr Vincent thought acted and suffered as a man of feeling Scarcely had Belinda left Oaklypark for one week when the ennui consequent to violent passion became insupportable and to console himself for her absence he flew to the billiardtable Emotion of some kind or other was become necessary to him he said that not to feel was not to live and soon the suspense the anxiety the hopes the fears the perpetual vicissitudes of a gamesters life seemed to him almost as delightful as those of a lovers Deceived by these appearances Mrs Luttridge thought that his affection for Belinda either was or might be conquered and her hopes of obtaining his fortune for her niece Annabella revived As Mr Vincent could not endure Mrs Freke she abstained at her friends particular desire from appearing at her house whilst he was there and Mrs Luttridge interested him much in her own favour by representing her indignation at Harriots conduct to be such that it had occasioned a total breach in their friendship Mrs Frekes sudden departure from Harrowgate confirmed the probability of this quarrel yet these two ladies were secretly leagued together in a design of breaking off Mr Vincents match with Belinda against whom Mrs Freke had vowed revenge The anonymous letter which she hoped would work her purpose produced however an effect totally unexpected upon his generous mind he did not guess the writer but his indignation against such base accusations burst forth with a violence that astounded Mrs Luttridge His love for Belinda appeared ten times more enthusiastic than before—the moment she was accused he felt himself her defender as well as her lover He was dispossessed of the evil spirit of gambling as if by a miracle and the billiardtable and Mrs Luttridge and Miss Annabella vanished from his view He breathed nothing but love he would ask no permission he would wait for none from Belinda he declared that instant he would set out in search of her and he would tear that infamous letter to atoms in her presence he would show her how impossible suspicion was to his nature The first violence of the hurricane Mrs Luttridge could not stand and thought not of opposing but whilst his horses and curricle were getting ready she took such an affectionate leave of his dog Juba and she protested so much that she and Annabella should not know how to live without poor Juba that Mr Vincent who was excessively fond of his dog could not help sympathizing in their sorrow reasoning just as well as they wished he extended his belief in their affection for this animal to friendship if not love for his master He could not grant Mrs Luttridges earnest supplication to leave the dog behind him under her protection but he promised—and laid his hand upon his heart when he promised—that Juba should wait upon Mrs Luttridge as soon as she went to town This appointment being made Miss Annabella permitted herself to be somewhat consoled It would be injustice to omit that she did all that could be done by a cambric handkerchief to evince delicate sensibility in this parting scene Mrs Luttridge also deserves her share of praise for the manner in which she reproved her niece for giving way to her feelings and for the address with which she wished to Heaven that poor Annabella had the calm philosophic temper of which Miss Portman was she understood a most uncommon example
As Mr Vincent drove toward London he reflected upon these last words and he could not help thinking that if Belinda had more faults she would be more amiable
These thoughts were however driven from his mind and scarcely left a trace behind them when he once more saw and conversed with her The dignity sincerity and kindness which she showed the evening that he put the anonymous letter into her hands charmed and touched him and his real feelings and his enthusiasm conspired to make him believe that his whole happiness depended on her smiles The confession which she made to him of her former attachment to Clarence Hervey as it raised in Vincents mind strong emotions of jealousy increased his passion as much as it piqued his pride and she appeared in a new and highly interesting light when he discovered that the coldness of manner which he had attributed to want of sensibility arose probably from its excess—that her heart should have been preoccupied was more tolerable to him than the belief of her settled indifference He was so intent upon these delightful varieties in his love for Belinda that it was not till he had received a reproachful note from Mrs Luttridge to remind him of his promised visit with Juba that he could prevail upon himself to leave Twickenham even for a few hours Lady Delacours hatred or fear of Juba which he accidentally mentioned to Miss Annabella appeared to her and to her aunt the most extraordinary thing upon earth and when it was contrasted with their excessive fondness it seemed to him indeed unaccountable From pure consideration for her ladyships nerves Mrs Luttridge petitioned Vincent to leave the dog with her that Helena might not be in such imminent danger from the animals monstrous jaws The petition was granted and as the petitioners foresaw Juba became to them a most useful auxiliary Jubas master called daily to see him and sometimes when he came in the morning Mrs Luttridge was not at home so that his visits were repeated in the evening and the evening in London is what in other places is called the night Mrs Luttridges nights could not be passed without deep play The sight of the E O table at first shocked Mr Vincent he thought of Mr Percival and he turned away from it but to his active social disposition it was extremely irksome to stand idle and uninterested where all were busy and eager in one common pursuit to his generous temper it seemed ungentlemanlike to stand by the silent censor of the rest of the company and when he considered of how little importance a few hundreds or even thousands could be to a man of his large fortune he could not help feeling that it was sordid selfish avaricious to dread their possible loss and thus social spirit courage generosity all conspired to carry our man of feeling to the gamingtable Once there his ruin was inevitable Mrs Luttridge whilst she held his doom in her power hesitated only whether it would be more her interest to marry him to her niece or to content herself with his fortune His passion for Belinda which she saw had been by some means or other increased in spite of the anonymous letter gave her little hopes of Annabellas succeeding even with the assistance of Juba and delicate sensibility So the aunt careless of her nieces disappointment determined that Mr Vincent should be her victim and sensible that she must not give him time for reflection she hurried him on till in the course of a few evenings spent at the E O table he lost not only thousands but tens of thousands One lucky night she assured him would set all to rights the run could not always be against him and fortune must change in his favour if he tried her with sufficient perseverance
The horror the agony of mind which he endured at this sudden ruin which seemed impending over him—the recollection of Belinda of Mr Percival almost drove him to distraction He retreated from the E O table one night swearing that he never would hazard another guinea But his ruin was not yet complete—he had thousands yet to lose and Mrs Luttridge would not thus relinquish her prey She persuaded him to try his fortune once more She now suffered him to regain courage by winning back some of his own money His mind was relieved from the sense of immediate danger he rejoiced to be saved from the humiliation of confessing his losses to Mr Percival and Belinda The next day he saw her with unusual pleasure and this was the very morning Clarence Hervey paid his visit The imprudence of Lady Delacour joined perhaps to his own consciousness that he had a secret fault which ought to lower him in the esteem of his mistress made him misinterpret every thing that passed—his jealousy was excited in the most sudden and violent manner He flew from Lady Delacours to Mrs Luttridges—he was soothed and flattered by the apparent kindness with which he was received by Annabella and her aunt but after dinner when one of the servants whispered to Mrs Luttridge who sat next to him that Mr Clarence Hervey was above stairs he gave such a start that the fair Annabellas lap did not escape a part of the bumper of wine which he was going to drink to her health In the confusion and apologies which this accident occasioned Mrs Luttridge had time to consider what might be the cause of the start and she combined her suspicions so quickly and judiciously that she guessed the truth—that he feared to be seen at the E O table by a person who might find it for his interest to tell the truth to Belinda Portman Mr Vincent said she in a low voice I have such a terrible headache that I am fit for nothing—I am not up to E O tonight so you must wait for your revenge till tomorrow
Mr Vincent was heartily glad to be relieved from his engagement and he endeavoured to escape Clarences suspicions by devoting his whole time this evening to Annabella not in the least apprehensive that Mr Hervey would return the next night Mr Vincent was at the E O table at the usual hour for he was excessively anxious to regain what he had lost not so much for the sake of the money which he could afford to lose but lest the defalcation in his fortune should lead Mr Percival to the knowledge of the means which had occasioned it He could not endure after his high vaunts to see himself humbled by his rash confidence in himself and he secretly vowed that if he could but reinstate himself by one nights good luck he would for ever quit the society of gamblers A few months before this time he would have scorned the idea of concealing any part of his conduct any one of his actions from his best friend Mr Percival but his pride now reconciled him to the meanness of concealment and here the acuteness of his feelings was to his own mind an excuse for dissimulation so fallacious is moral instinct unenlightened or uncontrolled by reason and religion
Mr Vincent was disappointed in his hopes of regaining what he had lost This was not the fortunate night which Mrs Luttridges prognostics had vainly taught him to expect he played on however with all the impetuosity of his natural temper his judgment forsook him he scarcely knew what he said or did and in the course of a few hours he was worked up to such a pitch of insanity that in one desperate moment he betted nearly all that he was worth in the world—and lost He stood like one stupified the hum of voices scarcely reached his ear—he saw figures moving before him but he did not distinguish who or what they were
Supper was announced and the room emptied fast whilst he remained motionless leaning on the E O table He was roused by Mrs Luttridge saying as she passed Dont you sup tonight Mr Hervey—Vincent looked up and saw Clarence Hervey opposite to him His countenance instantly changed and the lightning of anger flashed through the gloom of despair he uttered not a syllable but his looks said How is this sir Here again tonight to watch me—to enjoy my ruin—to be ready to carry the first news of it to Belinda
At this last thought Vincent struck his closed hand with violence against his forehead and rushing by Mr Hervey who in vain attempted to speak to him he pressed into the midst of the crowd on the stairs and let himself be carried along with them into the supperroom At supper he took his usual seat between Mrs Luttridge and the fair Annabella and as if determined to brave the observing eyes of Clarence Hervey who was at the same table he affected extravagant gaiety he ate drank talked and laughed more than any of the company Toward the end of the supper his dog who was an inmate at Mrs Luttridges licked his hand to put him in mind that he had given him nothing to eat
Drink Juba—drink and never have done boy cried Vincent holding a bumper of wine to the dogs mouth hes the only dog I ever saw taste wine Then snatching up some of the flowers which ornamented the table he swore that Juba should henceforward be called Anacreon and that he deserved to be crowned with roses by the hand of beauty The fair Annabella instantly took a hothouse rose from her bosom and assisted in making the garland with which she crowned the new Anacreon Insensible to his honours the dog who was extremely hungry turned suddenly to Mrs Luttridge by whom he had till this night regularly been fed with the choicest morsels and lifting up his huge paw laid it as he had been wont to do upon her arm She shook it off he knowing nothing of the change in his masters affairs laid the paw again upon her arm and with that familiarity to which he had long been encouraged raised his head almost close to the ladys cheek
Down Juba—down sir down cried Mrs Luttridge in a sharp voice
Down Juba—down sir repeated Mr Vincent in a tone of bitter feeling all his assumed gaiety forsaking him at this instant Down Juba—down sir down as low as your master thought he and pushing back his chair he rose from table and precipitately left the room
Little notice was taken of his retreat the chairs closed in and the gap which his vacant place left was visible but for a moment the company were as gay as before the fair Annabella smiled with a grace as attractive and Mrs Luttridge exulted in the success of her schemes—whilst her victim was in the agonies of despair
Clarence Hervey who had watched every change of Vincents countenance saw the agony of soul with which he rose from the table and quitted the room he suspected his purpose and followed him immediately but Mr Vincent had got out of the house before he could overtake him which way he was gone no one could tell for no one had seen him the only information he could gain was that he might possibly be heard of at Nerots Hotel or at Governor Montfords in Portlandplace The hotel was but a few yards from Mrs Luttridges Clarence went there directly He asked for Mr Vincent One of the waiters said that he was not yet come in but another called out Mr Vincent sir did you say I have just shown him up to his room
Which is the room—I must see him instantly cried Hervey
Not tonight—you cant see him now sir Mr Vincent wont let you in I can assure you sir I went up myself three minutes ago with some letters that came whilst he was away but he would not let me in I heard him doublelock the door and he swore terribly I cant go up again at this time onight—for my life I dare not sir
Where is his own man—Has Mr Vincent any servant here—Mr Vincents man cried Clarence let me see him
You cant sir Mr Vincent has just sent his black the only servant he has here out on some message Indeed sir theres no use in going up continued the waiter as Clarence sprang up two or three stairs at once Mr Vincent has desired nobody may disturb him I give you my word sir hell be very angry and besides twould be to no purpose for hell not unlock the door
Is there but one door to the room said Mr Hervey and as he asked the question he pulled a guinea out of his pocket and touched the waiters hand with it
Oh now I recollect—yes sir theres a private door through a closet may be that maynt be fastened
Clarence put the guinea into the waiters hand who instantly showed him the way up the back staircase to the door that opened into Mr Vincents bedchamber
Leave me now whispered he and make no noise
The man withdrew and as Mr Hervey went close to the concealed door to try if it was fastened he distinctly heard a pistol cocked The door was not fastened he pushed it softly open and saw the unfortunate man upon his knees the pistol in his hand his eyes looking up to heaven Clarence was in one moment behind him and seizing hold of the pistol he snatched it from Vincents grasp with so much calm presence of mind and dexterity that although the pistol was cocked it did not go off
Mr Hervey exclaimed Vincent starting up Astonishment overpowered all other sensations But the next instant recovering the power of speech Is this the conduct of a gentleman Mr Hervey—of a man of honour cried he thus to intrude upon my privacy to be a spy upon my actions to triumph in my ruin to witness my despair to rob me of the only—
He looked wildly at the pistol which Clarence held in his hand then snatching up another which lay upon the table he continued You are my enemy—I know it you are my rival I know it Belinda loves you Nay affect not to start—this is no time for dissimulation—Belinda loves you—you know it for her sake for your own put me out of the world—put me out of torture It shall not be called murder it shall be called a duel You have been a spy upon my actions—I demand satisfaction If you have one spark of honour or of courage within you Mr Hervey show it now—fight me sir openly as man to man rival to rival enemy to enemy—fire
If you fire upon me you will repent it replied Clarence calmly for I am not your enemy—I am not your rival
You are interrupted Vincent raising his voice to the highest pitch of indignation you are my rival though you dare not avow it The denial is base false unmanly Oh Belinda is this the being you prefer to me Gamester—wretch as I am my soul never stooped to falsehood Treachery I abhor courage honour and a heart worthy of Belinda I possess I beseech you sir continued he addressing himself in a tremulous tone of contempt to Mr Hervey I beseech you sir to leave me to my own feelings—and to myself
You are not yourself at this moment and I cannot leave you to such mistaken feelings replied Hervey command yourself for a moment and hear me use your reason and you will soon be convinced that I am your friend
My friend
Your friend For what purpose did I come here to snatch this pistol from your hand If it were my interest my wish that you were out of the world why did I prevent you from destroying yourself Do you think that the action of an enemy Use your reason
I cannot said Vincent striking his forehead I know not what to think—I am not master of myself I conjure you sir for your own sake to leave me
For my own sake repeated Hervey disdainfully I am not thinking of myself nor can any thing you have said provoke me from my purpose My purpose is to save you from ruin for the sake of a woman whom though I am no longer your rival I have loved longer if not better than you have
There was something so open in Herveys countenance such a strong expression of truth in his manner that it could not be resisted and Vincent in an altered voice exclaimed You acknowledge that you have loved Belinda—and could you cease to love her Impossible—And loving her must you not detest me
No said Clarence holding out his hand to him I wish to be your friend I have not the baseness to wish to deprive others of happiness because I cannot enjoy it myself In one word to put you at ease with me for ever I have no pretensions I can have none to Miss Portman I am engaged to another woman—in a few days you will hear of my marriage
Mr Vincent threw the pistol from him and gave his hand to Hervey
Pardon what I said to you just now cried he I knew not what I said—I spoke in the agony of despair your purpose is most generous—but it is in vain—you come too late—I am ruined past all hope
He folded his arms and his eyes reverted involuntarily to his pistols
The misery that you have this night experienced said Mr Hervey was necessary to the security of your future happiness
Happiness repeated Vincent happiness—there is no happiness left for me My doom is fixed—fixed by my own folly—my own rash headstrong folly Madman that I was what could tempt me to the gamingtable Oh if I could recall but a few days a few hours of my existence But remorse is vain—prudence comes too late Do you know said he fixing his eyes upon Hervey do you know that I am a beggar that I have not a farthing left upon earth Go to Belinda tell her so tell her that if she had ever the slightest regard for me I deserve it no longer Tell her to forget despise detest me Give her joy that she has escaped having a gamester for a husband
I will said Clarence I will if you please tell her what I believe to be true that the agony you have felt this night the dearbought experience you have had will be for ever a warning
A warning interrupted Vincent Oh that it could yet be useful to me—But I tell you it comes too late—nothing can save me
I can said Mr Hervey Swear to me for Belindas sake—solemnly swear to me that you will never more trust your happiness and hers to the hazard of a die—swear that you will never more directly or indirectly play at any game of chance and I will restore to you the fortune that you have lost
Mr Vincent stood as if suspended between ecstasy and despair he dared not trust his senses with a fervent and solemn adjuration he made the vow that was required of him and Clarence then revealed to him the secret of the E O table
When Mrs Luttridge knows that I have it in my power to expose her to public shame she will instantly refund all that she has iniquitously won from you Even among gamblers she would be blasted for ever by this discovery she knows it and if she dared to brave public opinion we have then a sure resource in the law—prosecute her The laws of honour as well as the laws of the land will support the prosecution But she will never let the affair go into a court of justice I will see her early as early as I can tomorrow and put you out of suspense
Most generous of human beings exclaimed Vincent I cannot express to you what I feel but your own heart your own approbation—
Farewell good night interrupted Clarence I see that I have made a friend—I was determined that Belindas husband should be my friend—I have succeeded beyond my hopes And now I will intrude no longer said he as he closed the door after him His sensations at this instant were more delightful even than those of the man he had relieved from the depth of despair How wisely has Providence made the benevolent and generous passions the most pleasurable
CHAPTER XXIX — A JEW
In the silence of the night when the hurry of action was over and the enthusiasm of generosity began to subside the words which had escaped from Mr Vincent in the paroxysm of despair and rage—the words Belinda loves you—recurred to Clarence Hervey and it required all his power over himself to banish the sound from his ear and the idea from his mind He endeavoured to persuade himself that these words were dictated merely by sudden jealousy and that there could be no real foundation for the assertion perhaps this belief was a necessary support to his integrity He reflected that at all events his engagement with Virginia could not be violated his proffered services to Mr Vincent could not be withdrawn he was firm and consistent Before two oclock the next day Vincent received from Clarence this short note
Enclosed is Mrs Luttridges acknowledgment that she has no claims upon you in consequence of what passed last night I said nothing about the money she had previously won as I understand you have paid it
The lady fell into fits but it would not do The husband attempted to bully me I told him I should be at his service after he had made the whole affair public by calling you out
I would have seen you myself this morning but that I am engaged with lawyers and marriage settlements
Yours sincerely
CLARENCE HERVEY
Overjoyed at the sight of Mrs Luttridges acknowledgment Vincent repeated his vow never more to hazard himself in her dangerous society He was impatient to see Belinda and full of generous and grateful sentiments in his first moment of joy he determined to conceal nothing from her to make at once the confession of his own imprudence and the eulogium of Clarence Herveys generosity He was just setting out for Twickenham when he was sent for by his uncle Governor Montford who had business to settle with him relative to his West India estates He spent the remainder of the morning with his uncle and there he received a charming letter from Belinda—that letter which she had written and sent whilst Lady Delacour was reading Clarence Herveys packet It would have cured Vincent of jealousy even if he had not in the interim seen Mr Hervey and learnt from him the news of his approaching marriage Miss Portman at the conclusion of her letter informed him that Lady Delacour purposed being in Berkeleysquare the next day that they were to spend a week in town on account of Mrs Margaret Delacour who had promised her ladyship a visit and to go to Twickenham would be a formidable journey to an infirm old lady who seldom stirred out of her house
Whatever displeasure Lady Delacour felt towards her friend Belinda on account of her coldness to Mr Hervey and her steadiness to Mr Vincent had by this time subsided Angry people who express their passion as it has been justly said always speak worse than they think This was usually the case with her ladyship
The morning after they arrived in town she came into Belindas room with an air of more than usual sprightliness and satisfaction Great news—Great news—Extraordinary news—But it is very imprudent to excite your expectations my dear Belinda Pray did you hear a wonderful noise in the square a little while ago
Yes I thought I heard a great bustle but Marriott appeased my curiosity by saying that it was only a battle between two dogs
It is well if this battle between two dogs do not end in a duel between two men said Lady Delacour
This prospect of mischief seems to have put your ladyship in wonderfully good spirits said Belinda smiling
But what do you think I have heard of Mr Vincent continued Lady Delacour that Miss Annabella Luttridge is dying for love of him—or of his fortune Knowing as I do the vanity of mankind I suppose that your Mr Vincent all perfect as he is was flattered by the little coquette and perhaps he condescends to repay her in the same coin I take it for granted—for I always fill up the gaps in a story my own way—I take it for granted that Mr Vincent got into some entanglement with her and that this has been the cause of the quarrel with the aunt That there has been a quarrel is certain for your friend Juba told Marriott so His massa swore that he would never go to Mrs Luttridges again and this morning he took the decisive measure of sending to request that his dog might be returned Juba went for his namesake Miss Annabella Luttridge was the person who delivered up the dog and she desired the black to tell his master with her compliments that Jubas collar was rather too tight and she begged that he would not fail to take it off as soon as he could Perhaps my dear you are as simple as the poor negro and suspect no finesse in this message Miss Luttridge aware that the faithful fellow was too much in your interests to be either persuaded or bribed to carry a billetdoux from any other lady to his master did not dare to trust him upon this occasion but she had the art to make him carry her letter without his knowing it Colin maillard vulgarly called blind mans buff was some time ago a favourite play amongst the Parisian ladies now hide and seek will be brought into fashion I suppose by the fair Annabella Judge of her talents for the game by this instance—she hid her billetdoux within the lining of Jubas collar The dog unconscious of his dignity as an ambassador or rather as a chargé daffaires set out on his way home As he was crossing Berkeleysquare he was met by Sir Philip Baddely and his dog The baronets insolent favourite bit the blacks heels Juba the dog resented the injury immediately and a furious combat ensued In the height of the battle Jubas collar fell off Sir Philip Baddely espied the paper that was sewed to the lining and seized upon it immediately the negro caught hold of it at the same instant the baronet swore the black struggled the baronet knocked him down The great dog left his canine antagonist that moment flew at your baronet and would have eaten him up at three mouthfuls if Sir Philip had not made good his retreat to Dangerfields circulating library The negros head was terribly cut by the sharp point of a stone and his ankle was sprained but as he has just told me he did not feel this till afterward He started up and pursued his masters enemy Sir Philip was actually reading Miss Luttridges billetdoux aloud when the black entered the library He reclaimed his masters property with great intrepidity and a gentleman who was present took his part immediately
In the mean time Lord Delacour who had been looking at the battle from our breakfastroom window determined to go over to Dangerfields to see what was the matter and how all this would end He entered the library just as the gentleman who had volunteered in favour of poor Juba was disputing with Sir Philip The bleeding negro told my lord in as plain words as he could the cause of the dispute and Lord Delacour who to do him justice is a man of honour joined instantly in his defence The baronet thought proper at length to submit and he left the field of battle without having any thing to say for himself but—Damme—very extraordinary damme—or words to that effect
Now Lord Delacour besides being a man of honour is also a man of humanity I know that I cannot oblige you more my dear Belinda than by seasoning my discourse with a little conjugal flattery My lord was concerned to see the poor black writhing in pain and with the assistance of the gentleman who had joined in his defence he brought Juba across the square to our house Guess for what—to try upon the strained ankle an infallible quack balsam recommended to him by the Dowager Lady Boucher I was in the hall when they brought the poor fellow in Marriott was called Mrs Marriott cried my lord pray let us have Lady Bouchers infallible balsam—this instant Had you but seen the eagerness of face or heard the emphasis with which he said infallible balsam—you must let me laugh at the recollection One human smile must pass and be forgiven
The smile may be the more readily forgiven said Belinda since I am sure you are conscious that it reflected almost as much upon yourself as upon Lord Delacour
Why yes belief in a quack doctor is full as bad as belief in a quack balsam I allow Your observation is so malicious because so just that to punish you for it I will not tell you the remainder of my story for a week to come and I assure you that the best part of it I have left untold To return to our friend Mr Vincent—could you but know what reasons I have at this instant for wishing him in Jamaica you would acknowledge that I am truly candid in confessing that I believe my suspicions about E O were unfounded and I am truly generous in admitting that you are right to treat him with justice
This last enigmatical sentence Belinda could not prevail upon Lady Delacour to explain
In the evening Mr Vincent made his appearance Lady Delacour immediately attacked him with raillery on the subject of the fair Annabella He was rejoiced to perceive that her suspicions took this turn and that nothing relative to the transaction in which Clarence Hervey had been engaged had transpired Vincent wavered in his resolution to confess the truth to Belinda Though he had determined upon this in the first moment of joyful enthusiasm yet the delay of fourandtwenty hours had made a material change in his feelings his most virtuous resolves were always rather the effect of sudden impulse than of steady principle But when the tide of passion had swept away the landmarks he had no method of ascertaining the boundaries of right and wrong Upon the present occasion his love for Belinda confounded all his moral calculations one moment his feelings as a man of honour forbade him to condescend to the meanness of dissimulation but the next instant his feelings as a lover prevailed and he satisfied his conscience by the idea that as his vow must preclude all danger of his return to the gamingtable in future it would only be creating an unnecessary alarm in Belindas mind to speak to her of his past imprudence His generosity at first revolted from the thought of suppressing those praises of Clarence Hervey which had been so well deserved but his jealousy returned to combat his first virtuous impulse He considered that his own inferiority must by comparison appear more striking to his mistress and he sophistically persuaded himself that it would be for her happiness to conceal the merits of a rival to whom she could never be united In this vacillating state of mind he continued during the greatest part of the evening About half an hour before he took his leave Lady Delacour was called out of the room by Mrs Marriott Left alone with Belinda his embarrassment increased and the unsuspecting kindness of her manner was to him the most bitter reproach He stood in silent agony whilst in a playful tone she smiled and said
Where are your thoughts Mr Vincent If I were of a jealous temper I should say with the fair Annabella—
You would say wrong then replied Mr Vincent in a constrained voice He was upon the point of telling the truth but to gain a reprieve of a few minutes he entered into a defence of his conduct towards Miss Luttridge
The sudden return of Lady Delacour relieved him from his embarrassment and they conversed only on general subjects during the remainder of the evening and he at last departed secretly rejoicing that he was as he fancied under the necessity of postponing his explanation he even thought of suppressing the history of his transaction with Mrs Luttridge He knew that his secret was safe with Clarence Hervey Mrs Luttridge would be silent for her own sake and neither Lady Delacour nor Belinda had any connexion with her society
A few days afterward Mr Vincent went to Gray the jeweller for some trinkets which he had bespoken Lord Delacour was there speaking about the diamond ring which Gray had promised to dispose of for him Whilst his lordship and Mr Vincent were busy about their own affairs Sir Philip Baddely and Mr Rochfort came into the shop Sir Philip and Mr Vincent had never before met Lord Delacour to prevent him from getting into a quarrel about a lady who was so little worth fighting for as Miss Annabella Luttridge had positively refused to tell Mr Vincent what he knew of the affair or to let him know the name of the gentleman who was concerned in it
The shopman addressed Mr Vincent by his name and immediately Sir Philip whispered to Rochfort that Mr Vincent was the master of the black Vincent who unluckily overheard him instantly asked Lord Delacour if that was the gentleman who had behaved so ill to his servant Lord Delacour told him that it was now of no consequence to inquire If said his lordship either of these gentlemen choose to accost you I shall think you do rightly to retort but for Heavens sake do not begin the attack
Vincents impetuosity was not to be restrained he demanded from Sir Philip whether he was the person who had beaten his servant Sir Philip readily obliged him with an answer in the affirmative and the consequence was the loss of a finger to the baronet and a wound in the side to Mr Vincent which though it did not endanger his life yet confined him to his room for several days The impatience of his mind increased his fever and retarded his recovery
When Belindas first alarm for Mr Vincents safety was over she anxiously questioned Lord Delacour as to the particulars of all that had passed between Mr Vincent and Sir Philip that she might judge of the manner in which her lover had conducted himself Lord Delacour who was a man of strict truth was compelled to confess that Mr Vincent had shown more spirit than temper and more courage than prudence Lady Delacour rejoiced to perceive that this account made Belinda uncommonly serious
Mr Vincent now thought himself sufficiently recovered to leave his room his physicians indeed would have kept him prisoner a few days longer but he was too impatient of restraint to listen to their counsels
Juba tell the doctor when he comes that you could not keep me at home and that is all that is necessary to be said
He had now summoned courage to acknowledge to Belinda all that had happened and was proceeding with difficulty down stairs when he was suddenly struck by the sound of a voice which he little expected at this moment a voice he had formerly been accustomed to hear with pleasure but now it smote him to the heart—it was the voice of Mr Percival For the first time in his life he wished to deny himself to his friend The recollection of the E O table of Mrs Luttridge of Mr Percival as his guardian and of all the advice he had heard from him as his friend rushed upon his mind at this instant conscious and ashamed he shrunk back precipitately returned to his own room and threw himself into a chair breathless with agitation He listened expecting to hear Mr Percival coming up stairs and endeavoured to compose himself that he might not betray by his own agitation all that he wished most anxiously to conceal After waiting for some time he rang the bell to make inquiries The waiter told him that a Mr Percival had asked for him but having been told by his black that he was just gone out the gentleman being as he said much hurried had left a note for an answer to which he would call at eight oclock in the evening Vincent was glad of this short reprieve Alas thought he how changed am I when I fear to meet my best friend To what has this one fatal propensity reduced me
He was little aware of the new difficulties that awaited him
Mr Percivals note was as follows—
My dear friend
Am not I a happy man to find a friend in my cidevant ward But I have no time for sentiment nor does it become the character in which I am now writing to you—that of a DUN You are so rich and so prudent that the word in capital letters cannot frighten you Lady Annes cousin poor Mr Carysfort is dead I am guardian to his boys they are but ill provided for I have fortunately obtained a partnership in a good house for the second son Ten thousand pounds are wanting to establish him—we cannot raise the money amongst us without dunning poor Mr Vincent Enclosed is your bond for the purchasemoney of the little estate you bought from me last summer I know that you have double the sum we want in ready money—so I make no ceremony Let me have the ten thousand this evening if you can as I wish to leave town as soon as possible
Yours most sincerely
HENRY PERCIVAL
Now Mr Vincent had lost and had actually paid to Mrs Luttridge the ready money which had been destined to discharge his debt to Mr Percival he expected fresh remittances from the West Indies in the course of a few weeks but in the mean time he must raise this money immediately this he could only do by having recourse to Jews—a desperate expedient The Jew to whom he applied no sooner discovered that Mr Vincent was under a necessity of having this sum before eight oclock in the evening than he became exorbitant in his demands and the more impatient this unfortunate young man became the more difficulties he raised At last a bargain was concluded between them in which Vincent knew that he was grossly imposed upon but to this he submitted for he had no alternative The Jew promised to bring him ten thousand pounds at five oclock in the evening but it was half after seven before he made his appearance and then he was so dilatory and circumspect in reading over and signing the bonds and in completing the formalities of the transaction that before the money was actually in Vincents possession one of the waiters of the hotel knocked at the door to let him know that Mr Percival was coming up stairs Vincent hurried the Jew into an adjoining apartment and bid him wait there till he should come to finish the business Though totally unsuspicious Mr Percival could not help being struck with the perturbation in which he found his young friend Vincent immediately began to talk of the duel and his friend was led to conclude that his anxiety arose from this affair He endeavoured to put him at ease by changing the conversation He spoke of the business which brought him to town and of the young man whom he was going to place with a banker I hope said he observing that Vincent grew more embarrassed that my dunning you for this money is not really inconvenient
Not in the least—not in the least I have the money ready—in a few moments—if youll be so good as to wait here—I have the money ready in the next room
At this instant a loud noise was heard—the raised voices of two people quarrelling It was Juba the black and Solomon the Jew Mr Vincent had sent Juba out of the way on some errand whilst he had been transacting his affairs with the Jew but the black having executed the commission on which he had been sent returned and went into his masters bedchamber to read at his leisure a letter which he had just received from his wife He did not at first see the Jew and he was spelling out the words of his wifes letter
My dear Juba
I take this opportu— —nity he would have said but the Jew who had held his breath in to avoid discovery till he could hold it no longer now drew it so loud that Juba started looked round and saw the feet of a man which appeared beneath the bottom of the window curtain Where fears of supernatural appearances were out of the question our negro was a man of courage he had no doubt that the man who was concealed behind the curtain was a robber but the idea of a robber did not unnerve him like that of an Obeah woman With presence of mind worthy of a greater danger Juba took down his masters pistol which hung over the chimneypiece and marching deliberately up to the enemy he seized the Jew by the throat exclaiming—
You rob my massa—You dead man if you rob my massa
Terrified at the sight of the pistol the Jew instantly explained who he was and producing his large purse assured Juba that he was come to lend money and not to take it from his master but this appeared highly improbable to Juba who believed his master to be the richest man in the world besides the Jews language was scarcely intelligible to him and he saw secret terror in Solomons countenance Solomon had an antipathy to the sight of a black and he shrunk from the negro with strong signs of aversion Juba would not relinquish his hold each went on talking in his own angry gibberish as loud as he could till at last the negro fairly dragged the Jew into the presence of his master and Mr Percival
It is impossible to describe Mr Vincents confusion or Mr Percivals astonishment The Jews explanation was perfectly intelligible to him he saw at once all the truth Vincent overwhelmed with shame stood the picture of despair incapable of uttering a single syllable
There is no necessity to borrow this money on my account said Mr Percival calmly and if there were we could probably have it on more reasonable terms than this gentleman proposes
I care not on what terms I have it—I care not what becomes of me—I am undone cried Vincent
Mr Percival coolly dismissed the Jew made a sign to Juba to leave the room and then addressing himself to Vincent said I can borrow the money that I want elsewhere Fear no reproaches from me—I foresaw all this—you have lost this sum at play it is well that it was not your whole fortune I have only one question to ask you on which depends my esteem—have you informed Miss Portman of this affair
I have not yet told her but I was actually half down stairs in my way to tell her
Then Mr Vincent you are still my friend I know the difficulty of such an avowal—but it is necessary
Cannot you dear Mr Percival save me the intolerable shame of confessing my own folly Spare me this mortification Be yourself the bearer of this intelligence and the mediator in my favour
I will with pleasure said Mr Percival I will go this instant but I cannot say that I have any hope of persuading Belinda to believe in your being irrevocably reclaimed from the charms of play
Indeed my excellent friend she may rely upon me I feel such horror at the past such heartfelt resolution against all future temptation that you may pledge yourself for my total reformation
Mr Percival promised that he would exert all his influence except by pledging his own honour to this he could not consent If I have any good news for you I will return as soon as possible but I will not be the bearer of any painful intelligence said he and he departed leaving Mr Vincent in a state of anxiety which to his temper was a punishment sufficient for almost any imprudence he could have committed
Mr Percival returned no more that night The next morning Mr Vincent received the following letter from Belinda He guessed his fate he had scarcely power to read the words
I promised you that whenever my own mind should be decided I would not hold yours in suspense yet at this moment I find it difficult to keep my word
Instead of lamenting as you have often done that my esteem for your many excellent qualities never rose beyond the bounds of friendship we have now reason to rejoice at this since it will save us much useless pain It spares me the difficulty of conquering a passion that might be fatal to my happiness and it will diminish the regret which you may feel at our separation I am now obliged to say that circumstances have made me certain we could not add to our mutual felicity by any nearer connexion
The hope of enjoying domestic happiness with a person whose manners temper and tastes suited my own inclined me to listen to your addresses But this happiness I could never enjoy with one who has any propensity to the love of play
For my own sake as well as for yours I rejoice that your fortune has not been materially injured as this relieves me from the fear that my present conduct should be imputed to interested motives Indeed such is the generosity of your own temper that in any situation I should scarcely have reason to apprehend from you such a suspicion
The absolute impossibility of my forming at present a connexion with another will prevent you from imagining that I am secretly influenced by sentiments different from those which I avow nor can any weak doubts on this subject expose me to my own reproaches
You perceive sir that I am not willing utterly to lose your esteem even when I renounce in the most unequivocal manner all claim upon your affections If any thing should appear to you harsh in this letter I beg you to impute it to the real cause—my desire to spare you all painful suspense by convincing you at once that my determination is irrevocable With sincere wishes for your happiness I bid you farewell
BELINDA PORTMAN
A few hours after Mr Vincent had read this letter he threw himself into a postchaise and set out for Germany He saw that all hopes of being united to Belinda were over and he hurried as far from her as possible Her letter rather soothed than irritated his temper her praises of his generosity were highly gratifying and they had so powerful an effect upon his mind that he was determined to prove that they were deserved His conscience reproached him with not having made sufficiently honourable mention of Clarence Herveys conduct on the night when he was on the point of destroying himself Before he left London he wrote a full account of this whole transaction to be given to Miss Portman after his departure
Belinda was deeply touched by this proof of his generosity His letter—his farewell letter—she could not read without great emotion It was written with true feeling but in a manly style without one word of vain lamentation
What a pity thought Belinda that with so many good and great qualities I should be forced to bid him adieu for ever
Though she strongly felt the pain of this separation yet she could not recede from her decision nothing could tempt her to connect herself with a man who had the fatal taste for play Even Mr Percival much as he loved his ward much as he wished for his union with Belinda dared not pledge his honour for Mr Vincent on this point
Lady Anne Percival in a very kind and sensible letter expressed the highest approbation of Belindas conduct and the most sincere hope that Belinda would still continue to think of her with affection and esteem though she had been so rash in her advice and though her friendship had been apparently so selfish
CHAPTER XXX — NEWS
Do not expect that I should pretend to be sorry for Mr Vincent said Lady Delacour Let him be as generous and as penitent as he pleases I am heartily glad that he is on his way to Germany I dare say he will find in the upper or lower circles of the empire some heroine in the Kotzebue taste who will alternately make him miserable till he is happy and happy till he is miserable He is one of those men who require great emotions fine lovers these make for stage effect—but the worst husbands in the world
I hope Belinda you give me credit for having judged better of Mr Vincent than Lady Anne Percival did
For having judged worse of him you mean Lady Anne always judges as well as possible of every body
I will allow you to play upon words in a friends defence but do not be alarmed for the reputation of Lady Annes judgment If it will be any satisfaction to you I can with thorough sincerity assure you that I never liked her so well in my life as since I have detected her in a mistake It saves her in my imagination from the odium of being a perfect character
And there was something so handsome in her manner of writing to me when she found out her error said Belinda
Very true and my friend Mr Percival behaved handsomely Where friendships clash it is not every man who has clearness of head sufficient to know his duty to his neighbour Mr Percival said no more than just the thing he ought for his ward You have reason to be obliged to him and as we are returning thanks to all persons concerned in our deliverance from this imminent danger Juba the dog and Juba the black and Solomon the Jew ought to come in for their share for without that wrestling match of theirs the truth might never have been dragged to light and Mr Vincent would have been in due course of time your lord and master But the danger is over you need not look so terrified do not be like the man who dropped down dead with terror when he was shown by daylight the broken bridge which he had galloped over in the dark
Lady Delacour was in such high spirits that without regard to connexion she ran on from one subject to another
You have proved to me my dear said she that you are not a girl to marry because the day was fixed or because things had gone so far I give you infinite credit for your civil courage as Dr X—— calls it military courage as he said to me yesterday—military courage that seeks the bubble reputation even in the cannons mouth may be had for sixpence a day But civil courage such as enabled the Princess Parizade in the Arabian Tales to go straight up the hill to her object though the magical multitude of advising and abusive voices continually called to her to turn back is one of the rarest qualities in man or woman and not to be had for love money or admiration
You place admiration not only above money but above love in your climax I perceive said Belinda smiling
I will give you leave to be as philosophically sarcastic as you please my dear if you will only smile and if you will not look as pale as Senecas Paulina whose story we heard—from whom
From Mr Hervey I believe
His name was ready upon your lips I hope he was not far from your thoughts
No one could be farther from my thoughts said Belinda
Well very likely—I believe it because you say it and because it is impossible
Rally me as much as you please my dear Lady Delacour I assure you that I speak the simple truth
I cannot suspect you of affectation my dear Therefore honestly tell me if Clarence Hervey were at your feet this instant would you spurn him from you
Spurn him no—I would neither spurn him nor motion him from me but without using any of the terms in the heroines dictionary——
You would refuse him interrupted Lady Delacour with a look of indignation—you would refuse him
I did not say so I believe
You would accept him
I did not say so I am sure
Oh you would tell him that you were not accustomed to him
Not exactly in those words perhaps
Well we shall not quarrel about words said Lady Delacour I only beg you to remember your own principles and if ever you are put to the trial be consistent The first thing in a philosopher is to be consistent
Fortunately for the credit of my philosophy there is no immediate danger of its being put to the test
Unfortunately you surely mean unless you are afraid that it might not stand the test But I was going when I spoke of consistency to remind you that all your own and Mr Percivals arguments about first loves may now with equal propriety be turned against you
How against me
They are evidently as applicable to second as to first loves I think
Perhaps they are said Belinda but I really and truly am not inclined to think of love at present particularly as there is no necessity that I should
Belinda took up a book and Lady Delacour for one half hour abstained from any farther raillery But longer than half an hour she could not be silent on the subject uppermost in her thoughts
If Clarence Hervey cried she were not the most honourable of blockheads he might be the most happy of men This Virginia—oh how I hate her—I am sure poor Clarence cannot love her
Because you hate her—or because you hate her without having ever seen her said Belinda
Oh I know what she must be replied Lady Delacour a soft sighing dying damsel who puts bullfinches into her bosom Smile smile my dear you cannot help it in spite of all your generosity I know you must think as I do and wish as I do that she were at the bottom of the Black Sea this instant
Lady Delacour stood for some minutes musing and then exclaimed I will move heaven and earth to break off this absurd match
Good Heavens my dear Lady Delacour what do you mean
Mean my dear—I mean what I say which very few people do no wonder I should surprise you
I conjure you cried Belinda if you have the least regard for my honour and happiness—
I have not the least but the greatest and depend upon it my dear I will do nothing that shall injure that dignity of mind and delicacy of character which I admire and love as much as Clarence Hervey did and does Trust to me not Lady Anne Percival herself can be more delicate in her notions of propriety than I am for my friends and since my reformation I hope I may add for myself Fear nothing As she finished these words she rang for her carriage I dont ask you to go out with me my dear Belinda I give you leave to sit in this armchair till I come back again with your feet upon the fender a book in your hand and this little table beside you like Lady Ss picture of Comfort
Lady Delacour spent the rest of the morning abroad and when she returned home she gave no account of what she had been doing or of what or whom she had seen This was so unusual that Belinda could not avoid taking notice of it Notwithstanding her ladyships eulogium upon her own delicate sense of propriety Miss Portman could not confide with perfect resignation in her prudence
Your ladyship reproached me once said she in a playful tone for my provoking want of curiosity you have completely cured me of this defect for never was woman more curious than I am at this instant to know the secret scheme that you have in agitation
Have patience a little longer and the mystery will be unravelled In the mean time trust that every thing I do is for the best However as you have behaved pretty well I will give you one leading hint when you have explained to me what you meant by saying that your heart is not at present inclined to love Pray have you quarrelled with love for ever
No but I can exist without it
Have you a heart
I hope so
And it can exist without love I now understand what was once said to me by a foolish lordling— Of what use is the sun to the dial 10
Company came in and relieved Belinda from any further raillery Lady Boucher and Mrs Margaret Delacour were amongst a large party to dine at Lady Delacours At dinner the dowager seized the first auspicious moment of silence to announce a piece of intelligence which she flattered herself would fix the eyes of all the world upon her
So Mr Clarence Hervey is married at last
Married cried Lady Delacour she had sufficient presence of mind not to look directly at Belinda but she fixed the dowagers eyes by repeating Married Are you sure of it
Positive—positive He was privately married yesterday at his aunt Lady Almerias apartments at Windsor to Miss Hartley I told you it was to be and now it is over and a very extraordinary match Mr Hervey has made of it after all Think of his going at last and marrying a girl who has been his mistress for years Nobody will visit her to be sure Lady Almeria is excessively distressed she did all she could to prevail on her brother the bishop to marry his nephew but he very properly refused giving it as a reason that the girls character was too well known
I thought the bishop was at Spa interposed a gentleman whilst the dowager drew breath
O dear no sir you have been misinformed resumed she The bishop has been returned from Spa this great while and he has refused to see his nephew to my certain knowledge After all I cannot but pity poor Clarence for being driven into this match Mr Hartley has a prodigious fine fortune to be sure and he hurried things forward at an amazing rate to patch up his daughters reputation He said as I am credibly informed yesterday morning that if Clarence did not marry the girl before night he would carry her and her fortune off the next day to the West Indies Now the fortune was certainly an object
My dear Lady Boucher interrupted Lord Delacour you must be misinformed in that particular fortune is no object to Clarence Hervey he is too generous a fellow to marry for fortune What do you think—what do you say Lady Delacour
I say and think and feel as you do my lord said Lady Delacour
You say and think and feel the same as my lord—Very extraordinary indeed said the dowager Then if it were not for the sake of the fortune pray why did Mr Hervey marry at all Can any body guess
I should guess because he was in love said Lord Delacour for I remember that was the reason I married myself
My dear good lord—but when I tell you the girl had been his mistress till he was tired of her—
My Lady Boucher said Mrs Margaret Delacour who had hitherto listened in silence my Lady Boucher you have been misinformed Miss Hartley never was Clarence Herveys mistress
Im mighty glad you think so Mrs Delacour but I assure you nobody else is so charitable Those who live in the world hear a great deal more than those who live out of the world I can promise you nobody will visit the bride and that is the thing by which we are to judge
Then the dowager and the rest of the company continued to descant upon the folly of the match Those who wished to pay their court to Lady Delacour were the loudest in their astonishment at his throwing himself away in this manner Her ladyship smiled and kept them in play by her address on purpose to withdraw all eyes from Miss Portman whilst from time to time she stole a glance at Belinda to observe how she was affected by what passed she was provoked by Belindas selfpossession At last when it had been settled that all the Herveys were odd but that this match of Clarences was the oddest of all the odd things that any of the family had done for many generations Mrs Delacour calmly said Are you sure Lady Boucher that Mr Hervey is married
Positive as I said before positive Madam my woman had it from Lady Newlands Swiss who had it from Lady Singletons Frenchwoman who had it from Longueville the hairdresser who had it from Lady Almerias own woman who was present at the ceremony and must know if any body does
The report has come to us zigzag as quick as lightning yet it does not flash conviction upon me said Lady Delacour
Nor upon me said Mrs Delacour for this simple reason I have seen Miss Hartley within these two hours and I had it from herself that she is not married
Not married cried the dowager with terror
I rather think not she is now with her father at my house at dinner I believe and Clarence Hervey is at Lady Almerias at Windsor her ladyship is confined by a fit of the gout and sent for her nephew yesterday If people who live out of the world hear less they sometimes hear more correctly than those who live in it
Pray when does Mr Hervey return from Windsor said the incorrigible dowager
Tomorrow madam said Mrs Delacour As your ladyship is going to several parties this evening I think it but charitable to set you right in these particulars and I hope you will be so charitable as to contradict the report of Miss Hartleys having been Clarences mistress
Why as to that if the young lady is not married we must presume there are good reasons for it said the dowager Pray on which side was the match broken off
On neither side answered Mrs Delacour
The thing goes on then and what day is the marriage to take place said Lady Boucher
On Monday—or Tuesday—or Wednesday—or Thursday—or Friday—or Saturday—or Sunday I believe replied Mrs Delacour who had the prudent art of giving answers effectually baffling to the curiosity of gossips
The dowager consoled herself in her utmost need with a full plate of brandy peaches and spoke not a word more during the second course When the ladies retired after the dessert she again commenced hostilities she dared not come to open war with Mrs Delacour but in a byebattle in a corner she carried every thing before her and she triumphantly whispered We shall see maam that it will turn out as I told you that Miss Rachel or Virginia or whatever he pleases to call her has been what I said and as I said nobody will visit her not a soul fifty people I can count who have declared to me theyve made up their minds and my owns made up I candidly confess and Lady Delacour I am sure by her silence and looks is of my way of thinking and has no opinion of the young lady as to Miss Portman she is poor thing of course so wrapped up in her own affairs no wonder she says nothing That was a sad business of Mr Vincents I am surprised to see her look even so well as she does after it Mr Percival I am told said the wellinformed dowager lowering her voice so much that the lovers of scandal were obliged to close their heads round her—Mr Percival I am informed refused his consent to his ward who is not of age on account of an anonymous letter and it is supposed Mr Vincent desired it for an excuse to get off handsomely Fighting that duel about her with Sir Philip Baddely settled his love—so he is gone to Germany and she is left to wear the willow which you see becomes her as well as everything else Did she eat any dinner maam you sat next her
Yes more than I did I am sure
Very extraordinary Then perhaps Sir Philip Baddelys on again—Lord bless me what a match would that be for her Why Mrs Stanhope might then indeed deserve to be called the matchmaker general The seventh of her nieces this But look theres Mrs Delacour leading Miss Portman off into the trictrac cabinet with a face full of business—her hand in hers—Lord I did not know they were on that footing I wonder whats going forward Suppose old Hartley was to propose for Miss Portman—there would be a dénouement and cut his daughter off with a shilling Nothings impossible you know Did he ever see Miss Portman I must go and find out positively
In the mean time Mrs Delacour unconscious of the curiosity she had excited was speaking to Belinda in the trictrac cabinet
My dear Miss Portman said she you have a great deal of goodnature else I should not venture to apply to you on the present occasion Will you oblige me and serve a friend of mine—a gentleman who as I once imagined was an admirer of yours
I will do any thing in my power to oblige any friend of yours madam said Belinda but of whom are you speaking
Of Mr Hervey my dear young lady
Tell me how I can serve him as a friend said Belinda colouring deeply
That you shall know immediately said Mrs Delacour rummaging and rustling for a considerable time amongst a heap of letters which she had pulled out of the largest pockets that ever woman wore even in the last century
Oh here it is continued she opening and looking into them May I trouble you just to look over this letter It is from poor Mr Hartley he is as you will see excessively fond of his daughter whom he has so fortunately discovered after his long search he is dreadfully nervous and has been terribly annoyed by these idle gossiping stories You find by what Lady Boucher said at dinner that they have settled it amongst them that Virginia is not a fit person to be visited that she has been Clarences mistress instead of his pupil Mr Hartley you see by this letter is almost out of his senses with the apprehension that his daughters reputation is ruined I sent my carriage to Twickenham the moment I received this letter for the poor girl and her gouvernante They came to me this morning but what can I do I am only one old woman against a confederacy of veteran gossips but if I could gain you and Lady Delacour for my allies I should fear no adversaries Virginia is to stay with me for some days and Lady Delacour I see has a great mind to come to see her but she does not like to come without you and she says that she does not like to ask you to accompany her I dont understand her delicacy about the matter—I have none believing as I do that there is no foundation whatever for these malicious reports which entre nous originated I fancy with Mrs Marriott Now will you oblige me If you and Lady Delacour will come and see Virginia tomorrow all the world would follow your example the next day Its often cowardice that makes people illnatured have you the courage my good Miss Portman to be the first to do a benevolent action I do assure you continued Mrs Delacour with great earnestness I do assure you I would as soon put my hand into that fire this moment as ask you to do any thing that I thought improper But forgive me for pressing this point I am anxious to have your suffrage in her favour Miss Belinda Portmans character for prudence and propriety stands so high and is fixed so firmly that she may venture to let us cling to it and I am as well convinced of the poor girls innocence as I am of yours and when you see her you will be of my opinion
I assure you Mrs Delacour said Belinda that you have wasted a great deal of eloquence upon this occasion for—
I am sorry for it interrupted Mrs Delacour rising from her seat with a look of some displeasure I meant not to distress or offend you Miss Portman by my eloquence I am only concerned that I should have so far mistaken your character as to expose myself to this refusal
I have given no refusal said Belinda mildly you did not let me finish my sentence
I beg pardon that is a foolish old trick of mine
Mrs Delacour I was going to say has wasted a great deal of eloquence for I am entirely of her opinion and I shall with the greatest readiness comply with her request
You are a charming generous girl and I am a passionate old fool—thank you a thousand times
You are not at all obliged to me said Belinda When I first heard this story I believed it as Lady Boucher now does—but I have had reason to alter my opinion and perhaps the same means of information would have changed hers once convinced it is impossible to relapse into suspicion
Impossible to you the most truly virtuous women are always the least suspicious and uncharitable in their opinion of their own sex Lady Anne Percival inspired me with this belief and Miss Portman confirms it I admire your courage in daring to come forward in the defence of innocence I am very rude alas for praising you so much
I have not a right to your admiration said Belinda for I must honestly confess to you that I should not have this courage if there were any danger in the case I do not think that in doubtful cases it is the business of a young woman to hazard her own reputation by an attempt to preserve anothers I do not imagine at least that I am of sufficient consequence in the world for this purpose therefore I should never attempt it It is the duty of such women as Mrs Delacour whose reputation is beyond the power of scandal to come forward in the defence of injured innocence but this would not be courage in Belinda Portman it would be presumption and temerity
Well if you will not let me admire your courage or your generosity or your prudence said Mrs Delacour laughing you must positively let me admire you altogether and love you too for I cannot help it Farewell
After the company was gone Lady Delacour was much surprised by the earnestness with which Belinda pressed the request that they might the next morning pay a visit to Virginia
My dear said Lady Delacour to tell you the truth I am full of curiosity and excessively anxious to go I hesitated merely on your account I fancied that you would not like the visit and that if I went without you it might be taken notice of but I am delighted to find that you will come with me I can only say that you have more generosity than I should have in the same situation
The next morning they went together to Mrs Delacours In their way thither Belinda to divert her own thoughts and to rouse Lady Delacour from the profound and unnatural silence into which she had fallen petitioned her to finish the history of Sir Philip Baddely the dog Miss Annabella Luttridge and her billetdoux
For some of my high crimes and misdemeanours you vowed that you would not tell me the remainder of the story till the whole week had elapsed now will you satisfy my curiosity You recollect that you left off just where you said that you were come to the best part of the story
Was I did I—Very true we shall have time enough to finish it byandby my dear said Lady Delacour at present my poor head is running upon something else and I have left off being an accomplished actress or I could talk of one subject and think of another as well as the best of you—Stop the carriage my dear I am afraid they have forgot my orders
Did you carry what I desired this morning to Mrs Delacour said her ladyship to one of the footmen
I did my lady
And did you say from me that it was not to be opened till I came
Yes my lady
Where did you leave it
In Mrs Delacours dressingroom my lady—she desired me to take it up there and she locked the door and said no one should go in till you came
Very well—go on Belinda my dear I hope that I have worked up your curiosity to the highest pitch
CHAPTER XXXI — THE DENOUEMENT
Curiosity was not at this instant the strongest passion in Belindas mind When the carriage stopped at Mrs Delacours door her heart almost ceased to beat but she summoned resolution to go through with firmness and dignity the task she had undertaken
Clarence Hervey was not in the room when they entered nor was Virginia Mrs Ormond said that she had been extremely feverish during the night and that she had advised her not to get up till late in the day But Mrs Delacour immediately went for her and in a few minutes she made her appearance
Belinda and Lady Delacour exchanged a glance of surprise and admiration There was a grace and simplicity in her manner joined to an air of naïveté that made an irresistible impression in her favour Lady Delacour however after the first surprise was over seemed to relapse into her former opinion and the piercing looks which her ladyship from time to time cast upon Virginia as she spoke produced their effect She was abashed and silent Belinda endeavoured to engage her in conversation and to her she talked with ease and even with freedom Virginia examined Miss Portmans countenance with a species of artless curiosity and interest that was not restrained by factitious politeness This examination was not peculiarly agreeable to Belinda yet it was made with so much apparent simplicity that she could not be displeased
On the first pause in the conversation Mrs Delacour said Pray my dear Lady Delacour what is this wonderful present that you sent to me this morning which you desired that no one should see till you came
I cannot satisfy your curiosity yet replied Lady Delacour I must wait till Clarence Hervey comes for the present is intended for him
An air of solemn mystery in her ladyships manner as she pronounced these words excited general attention There was a dead silence which lasted several minutes some feeble attempts were then made by each of the company to start a fresh subject of conversation but it would not do—all relapsed into the silence of expectation At last Clarence Hervey arrived Belinda rejoiced that the universal curiosity which Lady Delacour had inspired prevented any ones observing the sudden change in Mr Herveys countenance when he beheld her
A pretty set of curious children you are cried Lady Delacour laughing Do you know Clarence that they are all dying with impatience to see un gage damitié that I have brought for you and the reason that they are so curious is simply because I had the address to say in a solemn voice I cannot satisfy your curiosity till Clarence Hervey arrives Now follow me my friends and if you be disappointed lay the blame not on me but on your own imaginations
She led the way to Mrs Delacours dressingroom and all the company followed
Now what do you expect to see said she putting the key into the door
After waiting some moments for a reply but in vain she threw open the door and they saw hung before the wall opposite to them a green curtain
I thought my dear Clarence resumed Lady Delacour that no present could be more agreeable to you than a companion for your Virginia Does this figure continued she drawing back the curtain does this figure give you the idea of Paul
Paul said Clarence it is a naval officer in full uniform what can your ladyship mean
Virginia perhaps will know what I mean if you will only stand out of her way and let her see the picture
At these words Clarence made way for Virginia she turned her eyes upon the picture uttered a piercing shriek and fell senseless upon the floor
Take it coolly said Lady Delacour and she will come to her senses presently Young ladies must shriek and faint upon certain occasions but men looking at Clarence Hervey need not always be dupes This is only a scene consider it as such and admire the actress as I do
Actress Oh she is no actress cried Mrs Ormond
Clarence Hervey raised her from the ground and Belinda sprinkled water over her face
Shes dead—shes dead Oh my sweet child shes dead exclaimed Mrs Ormond trembling so violently that she could not sustain Virginia
She is no actress indeed said Clarence Hervey her pulse is gone
Lady Delacour looked at Virginias pale lips touched her cold hands and with a look of horror cried out Good Heavens what have I done What shall we do with her
Give her air—give her air air air cried Belinda
You keep the air from her Mrs Ormond said Mrs Delacour Let us leave her to Miss Portman she has more presence of mind than any of us And as she spoke she forced Mrs Ormond away with her out of the room
If Mr Hartley should come keep him with you Mrs Delacour said Clarence Hervey Is her pulse quite gone
No it beats stronger and stronger said Belinda
Her colour is returning said Lady Delacour There raise her a little dear Belinda she is coming to herself
Had not you better draw the curtain again before that picture said Miss Portman lest she should see it the moment she opens her eyes
Virginia came slowly to her recollection saw Lady Delacour drawing the curtain before the picture then fixed her eyes upon Clarence Hervey without uttering a word
Are you better now said he in a gentle tone
Oh do not speak—do not look so kindly cried Virginia I am well—quite well—better than I deserve to be and she pressed Belindas hand as if to thank her for assisting and supporting her
We may safely leave her now whispered Belinda to Lady Delacour we are strangers and our presence only distresses her
They withdrew But the moment Virginia found herself alone with Mr Hervey she was seized with a universal tremor she tried to speak but could not articulate At last she burst into a flood of tears and when this had in some measure relieved her she threw herself upon her knees and clasping her hands exclaimed as she looked up to heaven—
Oh if I knew what I ought to do—if I knew what I ought to say
Shall I tell you Virginia And will you believe me
Yes yes yes
You ought to say—the truth whatever it may be
But you will think me the most ungrateful of human beings
How often must I assure you Virginia that I make no claim upon your gratitude Speak to me—I conjure you as you value your happiness and mine—speak to me without disguise What is all this mystery Why should you fear to let me know what passes in your heart Why did you shriek at the sight of that picture
Oh forgive me forgive me cried Virginia she would have sunk at his feet if he had not prevented her
I will—I can forgive any thing but deceit Do not look at me with so much terror Virginia—I have not deserved it my wish is to make you happy I would sacrifice even my own happiness to secure yours but do not mislead me or you ruin us both Cannot you give me a distinct answer to this simple question—Why did you shriek at the sight of that picture
Because—but you will call me perfidious ungrateful Virginia—because I have seen that figure—he has knelt to me—he has kissed my hand—and I———
Clarence Hervey withdrew his arms which had supported her and placing her upon a sofa left her whilst he walked up and down the room for some minutes in silence
And why Virginia said he stopping short was it necessary to conceal all this from me Why was it necessary to persuade me that I was beloved Why was it necessary that my happiness should be the sacrifice
It shall not—it shall not Your happiness shall not be the sacrifice Heaven is my witness that there is no sacrifice I would not make for you Forgive me that shriek I could not help fainting indeed But I will be yours—I ought to be yours and I am not perfidious—I am not ungrateful do not look upon me as you did in my dream
Do not talk to me of dreams my dear Virginia this is no time for trifling I ask no sacrifice from you—I ask nothing but truth
Truth Mrs Ormond knows all the truth I have concealed nothing from her
But she has concealed every thing from me cried Clarence and with a sudden impulse of indignation he was going to summon her but when his hand was upon the lock of the door he paused returned to Virginia and said Let me hear the truth from your lips it is all I shall ever ask from you How—when—where did you see this man
What man said Virginia looking up with the simple expression of innocence in her countenance
Clarence pointed to the picture
At the village in the New Forest at Mrs Smiths house said Virginia one evening when I walked with her from my grandmothers cottage
And your grandmother knew of this
Yes said Virginia blushing and she was very much displeased
And Mrs Ormond knew of this pursued Clarence
Yes but she told me that you would not be displeased at it
Mr Hervey made another hasty step toward the door but restraining his impetuous temper he again stopped and leaning ever the back of a chair opposite to Virginia waited in silence for her to proceed He waited in vain
I do not mean to distress you Miss Hartley said he
She burst into tears I knew I knew cried she that you would be displeased I told Mrs Ormond so I knew you would never forgive me
In that you were mistaken said Clarence mildly I forgive you without difficulty as I hope you may forgive yourself nor can it be my wish to extort from you any mortifying confessions But perhaps it may yet be in my power to serve you if you will trust to me I will myself speak to your father I will do every thing to secure to you the object of your affections if you will in this last moment of our connexion treat me with sincerity and suffer me to be your friend
Virginia sobbed so violently for some time that she could not speak at last she said You are—you are the most generous of men You have always been my best friend I am the most ungrateful of human beings But I am sure I never wished I never intended to deceive you Mrs Ormond told me—
Do not speak of her at present or perhaps I may lose my temper interrupted Clarence in an altered voice only tell me—I conjure you tell me—in one word who is this man I and where is he to be found
I do not know I do not understand you said Virginia
You do not know You will not trust me Then I must leave you to—to Mr Hartley
Do not leave me—oh do not leave me in anger cried Virginia clinging to him Not trust you—I—not trust you Oh what can you mean I have no confessions to make Mrs Ormond knows every thought of my mind and so shall you if you will only hear me I do not know who this man is I assure you nor where he is to be found
And yet you love him Can you love a man whom you do not know Virginia
I only love his figure I believe said Virginia
His figure
Indeed I am quite bewildered said Virginia looking round wildly I know not what I feel
If you permitted this man to kneel to you to kiss your hand surely you must know that you love him Virginia
But that was only in a dream and Mrs Ormond said——
Only a dream But you met him at Mrs Smiths in the New Forest
That was only a picture
Only a picture—but you have seen the original
Never—never in my life and I wish to Heaven I had never never seen the fatal picture the image haunts me day and night When I read of heroes in the day that figure rises to my view instead of yours When I go to sleep at night I see it instead of yours in my dreams it speaks to me it kneels to me I long ago told Mrs Ormond this but she laughed at me I told her of that frightful dream I saw you weltering in your blood I tried to save you but could not I heard you say Perfidious ungrateful Virginia you are the cause of my death Oh it was the most dreadful night I ever passed Still this figure this picture was before me and he was the knight of the white plumes and it was he who stabbed you but when I wished him to be victorious I did not know that he was fighting against you So Mrs Ormond told me that I need not blame myself and she said that you were not so foolish as to be jealous of a picture but I knew you would be displeased—I knew you would think me ungrateful—I knew you would never forgive me
Whilst Virginia rapidly uttered all this Clarence marked the wild animation of her eyes the sudden changes of her countenance he recollected her fathers insanity every feeling of his mind gave way to terror and pity he approached her with all the calmness that he could assume took both her hands and holding them in his said in a soothing voice—
My dear Virginia you are not ungrateful I do not think you so I am not displeased with you You have done nothing to displease me Compose yourself dear Virginia
I am quite composed now you again call me dear Virginia Only I am afraid as I always told Mrs Ormond that I do not love you enough but she said that I did and that my fear was the strongest proof of my affection
Virginia now spoke in so consistent a manner that Clarence could not doubt that she was in the clear possession of her understanding She repeated to him all that she had said to Mrs Ormond and he began to hope that without any intention to deceive Mrs Ormonds ignorance of the human heart led her into a belief that Virginia was in love with him whilst in fact her imagination exalted by solitude and romance embodied and became enamoured of a phantom
I always told Mrs Ormond that she was mistaken said Clarence I never believed that you loved me Virginia till—he paused and carefully examined her countenance—till you yourself gave me reason to think so Was it only a principle of gratitude then that dictated your answer to my letter
She looked irresolute and at last in a low voice said If I could see if I could speak to Mrs Ormond———
She cannot tell what are the secret feelings of your heart Virginia Consult no Mrs Ormond Consult no human creature but yourself
But Mrs Ormond told me that you loved me and that you had educated me to be your wife
Mr Hervey made an involuntary exclamation against Mrs Ormonds folly
How then can you be happy continued Virginia if I am so ungrateful as to say I do not love you That I do not love you—Oh that I cannot say for I do love you better than any one living except my father and with the same sort of affection that I feel for him You ask me to tell you the secret feelings of my heart the only secret feeling of which I am conscious is—a wish not to marry unless I could see in reality such a person as——But that I knew was only a picture a dream and I thought that I ought at least to sacrifice my foolish imaginations to you who have done so much for me I knew that it would be the height of ingratitude to refuse you and besides my father told me that you would not accept of my fortune without my hand so I consented to marry you forgive me if these were wrong motives—I thought them right Only tell me what I can do to make you happy as I am sure I wish to do to that wish I would sacrifice every other feeling
Sacrifice nothing dear Virginia We may both be happy without making any sacrifice of our feelings cried Clarence And transported at regaining his own freedom Virginias simplicity never appeared to him so charming as at this moment Dearest Virginia forgive me for suspecting you for one instant of any thing unhandsome Mrs Ormond with the very best intentions possible has led us both to the brink of misery But I find you such as I always thought you ingenuous affectionate innocent
And you are not angry with me interrupted Virginia with joyful eagerness and you will not think me ungrateful And you will not be unhappy And Mrs Ormond was mistaken And you do not wish that I should love you that I should be your wife I mean Oh dont deceive me for I cannot help believing whatever you say
Clarence Hervey to give her a convincing proof that Mrs Ormond had misled her as to his sentiments immediately avowed his passion for Belinda
You have relieved me from all doubt all fear all anxiety said Virginia with the sweetest expression of innocent affection in her countenance May you be as happy as you deserve to be May Belinda—is not that her name—May Belinda—
At this moment Lady Delacour half opened the door exclaiming—Human patience can wait no longer
Will you trust me to explain for you dear Virginia said Clarence
Most willingly said Virginia retiring as Lady Delacour advanced Pray leave me here alone whilst you who are used to talk before strangers speak for me
Dare you venture Clarence said her ladyship as she closed the door to leave her alone with that picture You are no lover if you be not jealous
I am not jealous said Clarence yet I am a lover—a passionate lover
A passionate lover cried Lady Delacour stopping short as they were crossing the antechamber—then I have done nothing but mischief In love with Virginia I will not—cannot believe it
In love with Belinda—Cannot you will not you believe it
My dear Clarence I never doubted it for an instant But are you at liberty to own it to any body but me
I am at liberty to declare it to all the world
You transport me with joy I will not keep you from her a second But stay—I am sorry to tell you that as she informed me this morning her heart is not at present inclined to love And here is Mrs Margaret Delacour poor wretch in this room dying with curiosity Curiosity is as ardent as love and has as good a claim to compassion
As he entered the room where there were only Mrs Margaret Delacour and Belinda Clarence Herveys first glance rapid as it was explained his heart
Belinda put her arm within Lady Delacours trembling so that she could scarcely stand Lady Delacour pressed her hand and was perfectly silent
And what is Miss Portman to believe cried Mrs Margaret Delacour when she has seen you on the very eve of marriage with another lady
The strongest merit I can plead with such a woman as Miss Portman is that I was ready to sacrifice my own happiness to a sense of duty Now that I am at liberty——
Now that you are at liberty interrupted Lady Delacour you are in a vast hurry to offer your whole soul to a lady who has for months seen all your merits with perfect insensibility and who has been notwithstanding all my operations stone blind to your love
The struggles of my passion cannot totally have escaped Belindas penetration said Clarence but I like her a thousand times the better for not having trusted merely to appearances That love is most to be valued which cannot be easily won In my opinion there is a prodigious difference between a warm imagination and a warm heart
Well said Lady Delacour we have all of us seen Pamela maritata—let us now see Belinda in love if that be possible If forgive me this last stroke my dear—in spite of all my raillery I do believe that the prudent Belinda is more capable of feeling real permanent passion than any of the dear sentimental young ladies whose motto is
All for love or the world well lost
That is just my opinion said Mrs Margaret Delacour
But pray what is become of Mr Hartley looking round I do not see him
No for I have hid him said Lady Delacour he shall be forthcoming presently
Dear Mr Clarence Hervey what have you done with my Virginia said Mrs Ormond coming into the room
Dear Mrs Ormond what have you done with her replied Clarence By your mistaken kindness by insisting upon doing us both good against our wills you were very near making us both miserable for life But I blame nobody I have no right to blame any one so much as myself All this has arisen from my own presumption and imprudence Nothing could be more absurd than my scheme of educating a woman in solitude to make her fit for society I might have foreseen what must happen that Virginia would consider me as her tutor her father not as her lover or her husband that with the most affectionate of hearts she could for me feel nothing but gratitude
Nothing but gratitude repeated Mrs Ormond with a degree of amazement in her countenance which made every body present smile I am sure I thought she was dying for love of you
My dear Belinda whispered Lady Delacour if I might judge of the colour of this cheek which has been for some moments permanent crimson I should guess that you were beginning to find out of what use the sun is to the dial
You will not let me hear what Mr Hervey is saying replied Belinda I am very curious
Curiosity is a stronger passion than love as I told him just now said Lady Delacour
In spite of all his explanations Mrs Ormond could not be made to comprehend Virginias feelings She continually repeated But it is impossible for Virginia or for any body to be in love with a picture
It is not said that she is in love with a picture replied Mrs Delacour though even for that I could find you a precedent
My Lady Delacour said Mrs Ormond will you explain to us how that picture came into your possession and how it came here and in short all that is to be known about it
Ay explain explain my dear Lady Delacour cried Mrs Delacour I am afraid I am grown almost as curious as my Lady Boucher Explain explain
Most willingly said Lady Delacour To Marriotts ruling passion for birds you are all of you indebted for this discovery Some time ago whilst we were at Twickenham as Marriott was waiting at a stationers to bid her last adieus to a bullfinch a gentleman came into the shop where she and Bobby as she calls this bird were coquetting and the gentleman was struck even more than Marriott with the bullfinch He went almost distracted on hearing a particular tune which this bird sang I suspected from the symptoms that the gentleman must be or must have been in love with the bullfinchs mistress Now the bullfinch was traced home to the cidevant Virginia St Pierre the present Miss Hartley I had my reasons for being curious about her loves and lovers and as soon as I learned the story from Marriott I determined if possible to find out who this stranger with the strange passion for bullfinches might be I questioned and crossquestioned all those people at the stationers who were present when he fell into ecstasies and from the shopman who had been bribed to secrecy I learned that our gentleman returned to the stationers the day after he met Marriott and watched till he obtained a sight of Virginia as she came to her window Now it was believed by the girl of this shop who had lived for some time with Mrs Ormond—Forgive me Mr Hervey for what I am going to say—forgive me Mrs Ormond—scandal like death is common to all—It was believed that Virginia was Mr Herveys mistress My stranger no sooner learned this than he swore that he would think of her no more and after bestowing a variety of seamens execrations upon the villain who had seduced this heavenly creature he departed from Twickenham and was no more seen or heard of My inquiries after him were indefatigable but for some time unsuccessful and so they might have continued and we might have been all making one another unhappy at this moment if it had not been for Mr Vincents great dog Juba—Miss Annabella Luttridges billetdoux—Sir Philip Baddelys insolence—my Lord Delacours belief in a quack balsam—and Captain Sunderlands humanity
Captain Sunderland who is Captain Sunderland we never heard of him before cried Mrs Ormond
You shall hear of him just as I did if you please said Lady Delacour and if Belinda will submit to hear me tell the same story twice
Here her ladyship repeated the history of the battle of the dogs and of Sir Philip Baddelys knocking down Juba the man for struggling in defence of Juba the dog
Now the gentleman who assisted my Lord Delacour in bringing the disabled negro across the square to our house was Captain Sunderland My lord summoned Marriott to produce Lady Bouchers infallible balsam that it might be tried upon Jubas sprained ankle Whilst my lord was intent upon the balsam Marriott was intent upon Captain Sunderland She recollected that she had met him somewhere before and the moment he spoke she knew him to be the gentleman who had fallen into ecstasies in the shop at Twickenham about the bullfinch Marriott hastened to me with the news I hastened to my lord made him introduce Captain Sunderland to me and I never rested till he had told me all that I wanted to know Some years ago just before he went to sea he paid a visit to his mother who then lodged with a widow Smith in the New Forest Whilst he was there he heard of the young beauty who lived in the Forest with a grandmother who was not a little particular and who would not permit any body to see her
My captains curiosity was excited one day unseen by the duenna he obtained a distinct view of Virginia watering her roses and tending her bees Struck with her uncommon beauty he approached carefully to the thicket in which the cottage was enclosed and found a lair where he concealed himself day after day and contemplated at leisure the budding charms of the fair woodnymph In short he became so enamoured that he was determined to gain admittance at the cottage and declare his passion but to his honour be it told that when the history of the poor girls mother and the situation and fears of the old lady who was her only friend were known to him in consideration of the extreme youth of the ward and the extreme age of her guardian he determined to defer his addresses till his return from the West Indies whither he was shortly to sail and where he had hopes of making a fortune that might put him in a situation to render the object of his affections independent He left a bullfinch with Mrs Smith who gave it to Virginia without telling to whom it had belonged lest her grandmother might be displeased
I really thought that all this showed too nice a moral sense for a young dashing lieutenant in the navy and I was persuaded that my gentleman was only keeping his mistresss secret like a man of honour With this belief I regretted that Clarence Hervey should throw himself away upon a girl who was unworthy of him
I hope interrupted Clarence you are perfectly convinced of your mistake
Perfectly perfectly—I am convinced that Virginia is only half mad But let me go on with my story I was determined to discover whether she had any remains of affection for this captain It was in vain he assured me that she had never seen him I prevailed upon him to let me go on my own way I inquired whether he had ever had his picture drawn Yes he had for his mother just when he first went out to sea It had been left at the widow Smiths I begged him to procure it for me He told me it was impossible I told him I trampled on impossibilities In short he got the picture for me as you see Now thought I if he speaks the truth Virginia will see this picture without emotion and it will only seem to be a present for Clarence But if she had ever seen him before or had any secret to conceal she will betray herself on the sudden appearance of this picture Things have turned out contrary to all my expectations and yet better———And now Clarence I must beg you will prevail on Miss Hartley to appear I can go on no farther without her
Lady Delacour took Virginia by the hand the moment she entered the room
Will you trust yourself with me Miss Hartley said she I have made you faint once today by the sight of a picture will you promise me not to faint again when I produce the original
The original said Virginia I will trust myself with you for I am sure you cannot mean to laugh at me though perhaps I deserve to be laughed at
Lady Delacour threw open the door of another apartment Mr Hartley appeared and with him Captain Sunderland
My dear daughter said Mr Hartley give me leave to introduce to you a friend to whom I owe more obligations than to any man living except to Mr Hervey This gentleman was stationed some years ago at Jamaica and in a rebellion of the negroes on my plantation he saved my life Fortune has accidentally thrown my benefactor in my way To show my sense of my obligations is out of my power
Virginias surprise was extreme her vivid dreams the fond wishes of her waking fancy were at once accomplished For the first moment she gazed as on an animated picture and all the ideas of love and romance associated with this image rushed upon her mind
But when the realities by which he was surrounded dispelled the illusion she suddenly withdrew her eyes and blushed deeply with such timid and graceful modesty as charmed every body present
Captain Sunderland pressed forward but was stopped by Lady Delacour
Avaunt thou real lover cried she none but the shadow of a man can hope to approach the visionary maid In vain has Marraton forced his way through the bushes and briars in vain has he braved the apparition of the lion there is yet a phantom barrier apparently impassable between him and his Yaratilda for he is in the world of shadows Now mark me Marraton hurry not this delicate spirit or perchance you frighten and lose her for ever but have patience and gradually and gracefully she will venture into your world of realities—only give her time
Time O yes give me time cried Virginia shrinking back
My dear Miss Hartley continued Lady Delacour in plain prose to prevent all difficulties and embarrassments I must inform you that Captain Sunderland will not insist upon prompt payment of your fathers debt of gratitude he has but one quarter of an hour to spend with us—he is actually under sailing orders so that you will have time to compose your mind before his return Clarence I advise you to accompany Captain Sunderland on this cruise dont you Belinda
And now my good friends continued Lady Delacour shall I finish the novel for you
If your ladyship pleases nobody can do it better said Clarence Hervey
But I hope you will remember dear Lady Delacour said Belinda that there is nothing in which novelists are so apt to err as in hurrying things toward the conclusion in not allowing time enough for that change of feeling which change of situation cannot instantly produce
Thats right my dear Belinda true to your principles to the last gasp Fear nothing—you shall have time enough to become accustomed to Clarence Would you choose that I should draw out the story to five volumes more With your advice and assistance I can with the greatest ease my dear A declaration of love you know is only the beginning of things there may be blushes and sighs and doubts and fears and misunderstandings and jealousies without end or common sense to fill up the necessary space and to gain the necessary time but if I might conclude the business in two lines I should say
Ye gods annihilate both space and time
And make four lovers happy
Oh that would be cutting matters too short said Mrs Margaret Delacour I am of the old school and though I could dispense with the description of Miss Harriot Byrons worked chairs and fine china yet I own I like to hear something of the preparation for a marriage as well as of the mere wedding I like to hear how people become happy in a rational manner better than to be told in the huddled style of an old fairy tale—and so they were all married and they lived very happily all the rest of their days
We are not in much danger of hearing such an account of modern marriages said Lady Delacour But how shall I please you all—Some people cry Tell me every thing others say that
Le secret dennuyer est celui de tout dire
Something must be left to the imagination Positively I will not describe weddingdresses or a procession to church I have no objection to saying that the happy couples were united by the worthy Mr Moreton that Mr Percival gave Belinda away and that immediately after the ceremony he took the whole party down with him to Oaklypark Will this do—Or we may conclude if you like it better with a characteristic letter of congratulation from Mrs Stanhope to her dearest niece Belinda acknowledging that she was wrong to quarrel with her for refusing Sir Philip Baddely and giving her infinite credit for that admirable management of Clarence Hervey which she hopes will continue through life
Well I have no objection to ending with a letter said Mrs Delacour for last speeches are always tiresome
Yes said her ladyship it is so difficult as the Critic says to get lovers off upon their knees Now I think of it let me place you all in proper attitudes for stage effect What signifies being happy unless we appear so—Captain Sunderland—kneeling with Virginia if you please sir at her fathers feet you in the act of giving them your blessing Mr Hartley Mrs Ormond clasps her hands with joy—nothing can be better than that madam—I give you infinite credit for the attitude Clarence you have a right to Belindas hand and may kiss it too nay Miss Portman it is the rule of the stage Now wheres my Lord Delacour he should be embracing me to show that we are reconciled Ha here he comes—Enter Lord Delacour with little Helena in his hand—very well a good start of surprise my love—stand still pray you cannot be better than you are Helena my love do not let go your fathers hand There quite pretty and natural Now Lady Delacour to show that she is reformed comes forward to address the audience with a moral—a moral Yes
Our tale contains a moral and no doubt
You all have wit enough to find it out
Written in 1800 Published in 1801
THE END