ARTHUR MERVYN
OR
MEMOIRS OF THE YEAR 1793
BY
CHARLES BROCKDEN BROWN
ARTHUR MERVYN
CHAPTER I
I was resident in this city during the year 1793 Many motives contributed to detain me though departure was easy and commodious and my friends were generally solicitous for me to go It is not my purpose to enumerate these motives or to dwell on my present concerns and transactions but merely to compose a narrative of some incidents with which my situation made me acquainted
Returning one evening somewhat later than usual to my own house my attention was attracted just as I entered the porch by the figure of a man reclining against the wall at a few paces distant My sight was imperfectly assisted by a faroff lamp but the posture in which he sat the hour and the place immediately suggested the idea of one disabled by sickness It was obvious to conclude that his disease was pestilential This did not deter me from approaching and examining him more closely
He leaned his head against the wall his eyes were shut his hands clasped in each other and his body seemed to be sustained in an upright position merely by the cellardoor against which he rested his left shoulder The lethargy into which he was sunk seemed scarcely interrupted by my feeling his hand and his forehead His throbbing temples and burning skin indicated a fever and his form already emaciated seemed to prove that it had not been of short duration
There was only one circumstance that hindered me from forming an immediate determination in what manner this person should be treated My family consisted of my wife and a young child Our servantmaid had been seized three days before by the reigning malady and at her own request had been conveyed to the hospital We ourselves enjoyed good health and were hopeful of escaping with our lives Our measures for this end had been cautiously taken and carefully adhered to They did not consist in avoiding the receptacles of infection for my office required me to go daily into the midst of them nor in filling the house with the exhalations of gunpowder vinegar or tar They consisted in cleanliness reasonable exercise and wholesome diet Custom had likewise blunted the edge of our apprehensions To take this person into my house and bestow upon him the requisite attendance was the scheme that first occurred to me In this however the advice of my wife was to govern me
I mentioned the incident to her I pointed out the danger which was to be dreaded from such an inmate I desired her to decide with caution and mentioned my resolution to conform myself implicitly to her decision Should we refuse to harbour him we must not forget that there was a hospital to which he would perhaps consent to be carried and where he would be accommodated in the best manner the times would admit
Nay said she talk not of hospitals At least let him have his choice I have no fear about me for my part in a case where the injunctions of duty are so obvious Let us take the poor unfortunate wretch into our protection and care and leave the consequences to Heaven
I expected and was pleased with this proposal I returned to the sick man and on rousing him from his stupor found him still in possession of his reason With a candle near I had an opportunity of viewing him more accurately
His garb was plain careless and denoted rusticity His aspect was simple and ingenuous and his decayed visage still retained traces of uncommon but manlike beauty He had all the appearances of mere youth unspoiled by luxury and uninured to misfortune I scarcely ever beheld an object which laid so powerful and sudden a claim to my affection and succour
You are sick said I in as cheerful a tone as I could assume Cold bricks and nightairs are comfortless attendants for one in your condition Rise I pray you and come into the house We will try to supply you with accommodations a little more suitable
At this address he fixed his languid eyes upon me What would you have said he I am very well as I am While I breathe which will not be long I shall breathe with more freedom here than elsewhere Let me alone—I am very well as I am
Nay said I this situation is unsuitable to a sick man I only ask you to come into my house and receive all the kindness that it is in our power to bestow Pluck up courage and I will answer for your recovery provided you submit to directions and do as we would have you Rise and come along with me We will find you a physician and a nurse and all we ask in return is good spirits and compliance
Do you not know he replied what my disease is Why should you risk your safety for the sake of one whom your kindness cannot benefit and who has nothing to give in return
There was something in the style of this remark that heightened my prepossession in his favour and made me pursue my purpose with more zeal Let us try what we can do for you I answered If we save your life we shall have done you some service and as for recompense we will look to that
It was with considerable difficulty that he was persuaded to accept our invitation He was conducted to a chamber and the criticalness of his case requiring unusual attention I spent the night at his bedside
My wife was encumbered with the care both of her infant and her family The charming babe was in perfect health but her mothers constitution was frail and delicate We simplified the household duties as much as possible but still these duties were considerably burdensome to one not used to the performance and luxuriously educated The addition of a sick man was likely to be productive of much fatigue My engagements would not allow me to be always at home and the state of my patient and the remedies necessary to be prescribed were attended with many noxious and disgustful circumstances My fortune would not allow me to hire assistance My wife with a feeble frame and a mind shrinking on ordinary occasions from such offices with fastidious scrupulousness was to be his only or principal nurse
My neighbours were fervent in their wellmeant zeal and loud in their remonstrances on the imprudence and rashness of my conduct They called me presumptuous and cruel in exposing my wife and child as well as myself to such imminent hazard for the sake of one too who most probably was worthless and whose disease had doubtless been by negligence or mistreatment rendered incurable
I did not turn a deaf ear to these censurers I was aware of all the inconveniences and perils to which I thus spontaneously exposed myself No one knew better the value of that woman whom I called mine or set a higher price upon her life her health and her ease The virulence and activity of this contagion the dangerous condition of my patient and the dubiousness of his character were not forgotten by me but still my conduct in this affair received my own entire approbation All objections on the score of my friends were removed by her own willingness and even solicitude to undertake the province I had more confidence than others in the vincibility of this disease and in the success of those measures which we had used for our defence against it But whatever were the evils to accrue to us we were sure of one thing namely that the consciousness of having neglected this unfortunate person would be a source of more unhappiness than could possibly redound from the attendance and care that he would claim
The more we saw of him indeed the more did we congratulate ourselves on our proceeding His torments were acute and tedious but in the midst even of delirium his heart seemed to overflow with gratitude and to be actuated by no wish but to alleviate our toil and our danger He made prodigious exertions to perform necessary offices for himself He suppressed his feelings and struggled to maintain a cheerful tone and countenance that he might prevent that anxiety which the sight of his sufferings produced in us He was perpetually furnishing reasons why his nurse should leave him alone and betrayed dissatisfaction whenever she entered his apartment
In a few days there were reasons to conclude him out of danger and in a fortnight nothing but exercise and nourishment were wanting to complete his restoration Meanwhile nothing was obtained from him but general information that his place of abode was Chester county and that some momentous engagement induced him to hazard his safety by coming to the city in the height of the epidemic
He was far from being talkative His silence seemed to be the joint result of modesty and unpleasing remembrances His features were characterized by pathetic seriousness and his deportment by a gravity very unusual at his age According to his own representation he was no more than eighteen years old but the depth of his remarks indicated a much greater advance His name was Arthur Mervyn He described himself as having passed his life at the ploughtail and the threshingfloor as being destitute of all scholastic instruction and as being long since bereft of the affectionate regards of parents and kinsmen
When questioned as to the course of life which he meant to pursue upon his recovery he professed himself without any precise object He was willing to be guided by the advice of others and by the lights which experience should furnish The country was open to him and he supposed that there was no part of it in which food could not be purchased by his labour He was unqualified by his education for any liberal profession His poverty was likewise an insuperable impediment He could afford to spend no time in the acquisition of a trade He must labour not for future emolument but for immediate subsistence The only pursuit which his present circumstances would allow him to adopt was that which he was inclined to believe was likewise the most eligible Without doubt his experience was slender and it seemed absurd to pronounce concerning that of which he had no direct knowledge but so it was he could not outroot from his mind the persuasion that to plough to sow and to reap were employments most befitting a reasonable creature and from which the truest pleasure and the least pollution would flow He contemplated no other scheme than to return as soon as his health should permit into the country seek employment where it was to be had and acquit himself in his engagements with fidelity and diligence
I pointed out to him various ways in which the city might furnish employment to one with his qualifications He had said that he was somewhat accustomed to the pen There were stations in which the possession of a legible hand was all that was requisite He might add to this a knowledge of accounts and thereby procure himself a post in some mercantile or public office
To this he objected that experience had shown him unfit for the life of a penman This had been his chief occupation for a little while and he found it wholly incompatible with his health He must not sacrifice the end for the means Starving was a disease preferable to consumption Besides he laboured merely for the sake of living and he lived merely for the sake of pleasure If his tasks should enable him to live but at the same time bereave him of all satisfaction they inflicted injury and were to be shunned as worse evils than death
I asked to what species of pleasure he alluded with which the business of a clerk was inconsistent
He answered that he scarcely knew how to describe it He read books when they came in his way He had lighted upon few and perhaps the pleasure they afforded him was owing to their fewness yet he confessed that a mode of life which entirely forbade him to read was by no means to his taste But this was trivial He knew how to value the thoughts of other people but he could not part with the privilege of observing and thinking for himself He wanted business which would suffer at least ninetenths of his attention to go free If it afforded agreeable employment to that part of his attention which it applied to its own use so much the better but if it did not he should not repine He should be content with a life whose pleasures were to its pains as nine are to one He had tried the trade of a copyist and in circumstances more favourable than it was likely he should ever again have an opportunity of trying it and he had found that it did not fulfil the requisite conditions Whereas the trade of ploughman was friendly to health liberty and pleasure
The pestilence if it may so be called was now declining The health of my young friend allowed him to breathe the fresh air and to walk A friend of mine by name Wortley who had spent two months from the city and to whom in the course of a familiar correspondence I had mentioned the foregoing particulars returned from his rural excursion He was posting on the evening of the day of his arrival with a friendly expedition to my house when he overtook Mervyn going in the same direction He was surprised to find him go before him into my dwelling and to discover which he speedily did that this was the youth whom I had so frequently mentioned to him I was present at their meeting
There was a strange mixture in the countenance of Wortley when they were presented to each other His satisfaction was mingled with surprise and his surprise with anger Mervyn in his turn betrayed considerable embarrassment Wortleys thoughts were too earnest on some topic to allow him to converse He shortly made some excuse for taking leave and rising addressed himself to the youth with a request that he would walk home with him This invitation delivered in a tone which left it doubtful whether a compliment or menace were meant augmented Mervyns confusion He complied without speaking and they went out together—my wife and I were left to comment upon the scene
It could not fail to excite uneasiness They were evidently no strangers to each other The indignation that flashed from the eyes of Wortley and the trembling consciousness of Mervyn were unwelcome tokens The former was my dearest friend and venerable for his discernment and integrity The latter appeared to have drawn upon himself the anger and disdain of this man We already anticipated the shock which the discovery of his unworthiness would produce
In a halfhour Mervyn returned His embarrassment had given place to dejection He was always serious but his features were now overcast by the deepest gloom The anxiety which I felt would not allow me to hesitate long
Arthur said I something is the matter with you Will you not disclose it to us Perhaps you have brought yourself into some dilemma out of which we may help you to escape Has any thing of an unpleasant nature passed between you and Wortley
The youth did not readily answer He seemed at a loss for a suitable reply At length he said that something disagreeable had indeed passed between him and Wortley He had had the misfortune to be connected with a man by whom Wortley conceived himself to be injured He had borne no part in inflicting this injury but had nevertheless been threatened with ill treatment if he did not make disclosures which indeed it was in his power to make but which he was bound by every sanction to withhold This disclosure would be of no benefit to Wortley It would rather operate injuriously than otherwise yet it was endeavoured to be wrested from him by the heaviest menaces There he paused
We were naturally inquisitive as to the scope of these menaces but Mervyn entreated us to forbear any further discussion of this topic He foresaw the difficulties to which his silence would subject him One of its most fearful consequences would be the loss of our good opinion He knew not what he had to dread from the enmity of Wortley Mr Wortleys violence was not without excuse It was his mishap to be exposed to suspicions which could only be obviated by breaking his faith But indeed he knew not whether any degree of explicitness would confute the charges that were made against him whether by trampling on his sacred promise he should not multiply his perils instead of lessening their number A difficult part had been assigned to him by much too difficult for one young improvident and inexperienced as he was
Sincerity perhaps was the best course Perhaps after having had an opportunity for deliberation he should conclude to adopt it meanwhile he entreated permission to retire to his chamber He was unable to exclude from his mind ideas which yet could with no propriety at least at present be made the theme of conversation
These words were accompanied with simplicity and pathos and with tokens of unaffected distress
Arthur said I you are master of your actions and time in this house Retire when you please but you will naturally suppose us anxious to dispel this mystery Whatever shall tend to obscure or malign your character will of course excite our solicitude Wortley is not shortsighted or hasty to condemn So great is my confidence in his integrity that I will not promise my esteem to one who has irrecoverably lost that of Wortley I am not acquainted with your motives to concealment or what it is you conceal but take the word of one who possesses that experience which you complain of wanting that sincerity is always safest
As soon as he had retired my curiosity prompted me to pay an immediate visit to Wortley I found him at home He was no less desirous of an interview and answered my inquiries with as much eagerness as they were made
You know said he my disastrous connection with Thomas Welbeck You recollect his sudden disappearance last July by which I was reduced to the brink of ruin Nay I am even now far from certain that I shall survive that event I spoke to you about the youth who lived with him and by what means that youth was discovered to have crossed the river in his company on the night of his departure This is that very youth
This will account for my emotion at meeting him at your house I brought him out with me His confusion sufficiently indicated his knowledge of transactions between Welbeck and me I questioned him as to the fate of that man To own the truth I expected some welldigested lie but he merely said that he had promised secrecy on that subject and must therefore be excused from giving me any information I asked him if he knew that his master or accomplice or whatever was his relation to him absconded in my debt He answered that he knew it well but still pleaded a promise of inviolable secrecy as to his hidingplace This conduct justly exasperated me and I treated him with the severity which he deserved I am half ashamed to confess the excesses of my passion I even went so far as to strike him He bore my insults with the utmost patience No doubt the young villain is well instructed in his lesson He knows that he may safely defy my power From threats I descended to entreaties I even endeavoured to wind the truth from him by artifice I promised him a part of the debt if he would enable me to recover the whole I offered him a considerable reward if he would merely afford me a clue by which I might trace him to his retreat but all was insufficient He merely put on an air of perplexity and shook his head in token of noncompliance
Such was my friends account of this interview His suspicions were unquestionably plausible but I was disposed to put a more favourable construction on Mervyns behaviour I recollected the desolate and penniless condition in which I found him and the uniform complacency and rectitude of his deportment for the period during which we had witnessed it These ideas had considerable influence on my judgment and indisposed me to follow the advice of my friend which was to turn him forth from my doors that very night
My wifes prepossessions were still more powerful advocates of this youth She would vouch she said before any tribunal for his innocence but she willingly concurred with me in allowing him the continuance of our friendship on no other condition than that of a disclosure of the truth To entitle ourselves to this confidence we were willing to engage in our turn for the observance of secrecy so far that no detriment should accrue from this disclosure to himself or his friend
Next morning at breakfast our guest appeared with a countenance less expressive of embarrassment than on the last evening His attention was chiefly engaged by his own thoughts and little was said till the breakfast was removed I then reminded him of the incidents of the former day and mentioned that the uneasiness which thence arose to us had rather been increased than diminished by time
It is in your power my young friend continued I to add still more to this uneasiness or to take it entirely away I had no personal acquaintance with Thomas Welbeck I have been informed by others that his character for a certain period was respectable but that at length he contracted large debts and instead of paying them absconded You it seems lived with him On the night of his departure you are known to have accompanied him across the river and this it seems is the first of your reappearance on the stage Welbecks conduct was dishonest He ought doubtless to be pursued to his asylum and be compelled to refund his winnings You confess yourself to know his place of refuge but urge a promise of secrecy Know you not that to assist or connive at the escape of this man was wrong To have promised to favour his concealment and impunity by silence was only an aggravation of this wrong That however is past Your youth and circumstances hitherto unexplained may apologize for that misconduct but it is certainly your duty to repair it to the utmost of your power Think whether by disclosing what you know you will not repair it
I have spent most of last night said the youth in reflecting on this subject I had come to a resolution before you spoke of confiding to you my simple tale I perceive in what circumstances I am placed and that I can keep my hold of your good opinion only by a candid deportment I have indeed given a promise which it was wrong or rather absurd in another to exact and in me to give yet none but considerations of the highest importance would persuade me to break my promise No injury will accrue from my disclosure to Welbeck If there should dishonest as he was that would be a sufficient reason for my silence Wortley will not in any degree be benefited by any communication that I can make Whether I grant or withhold information my conduct will have influence only on my own happiness and that influence will justify me in granting it
I received your protection when I was friendless and forlorn You have a right to know whom it is that you protected My own fate is connected with the fate of Welbeck and that connection together with the interest you are pleased to take in my concerns because they are mine will render a tale worthy of attention which will not be recommended by variety of facts or skill in the display of them
Wortley though passionate and with regard to me unjust may yet be a good man but I have no desire to make him one of my auditors You sir may if you think proper relate to him afterwards what particulars concerning Welbeck it may be of importance for him to know but at present it will be well if your indulgence shall support me to the end of a tedious but humble tale
The eyes of my Eliza sparkled with delight at this proposal She regarded this youth with a sisterly affection and considered his candour in this respect as an unerring test of his rectitude She was prepared to hear and to forgive the errors of inexperience and precipitation I did not fully participate in her satisfaction but was nevertheless most zealously disposed to listen to his narrative
My engagements obliged me to postpone this rehearsal till late in the evening Collected then round a cheerful hearth exempt from all likelihood of interruption from without and our babes unpractised senses shut up in the sweetest and profoundest sleep Mervyn after a pause of recollection began
CHAPTER II
My natal soil is Chester county My father had a small farm on which he has been able by industry to maintain himself and a numerous family He has had many children but some defect in the constitution of our mother has been fatal to all of them but me They died successively as they attained the age of nineteen or twenty and since I have not yet reached that age I may reasonably look for the same premature fate In the spring of last year my mother followed her fifth child to the grave and three months afterwards died herself
My constitution has always been frail and till the death of my mother I enjoyed unlimited indulgence I cheerfully sustained my portion of labour for that necessity prescribed but the intervals were always at my own disposal and in whatever manner I thought proper to employ them my plans were encouraged and assisted Fond appellations tones of mildness solicitous attendance when I was sick deference to my opinions and veneration for my talents compose the image which I still retain of my mother I had the thoughtlessness and presumption of youth and now that she is gone my compunction is awakened by a thousand recollections of my treatment of her I was indeed guilty of no flagrant acts of contempt or rebellion Perhaps her deportment was inevitably calculated to instil into me a froward and refractory spirit My faults however were speedily followed by repentance and in the midst of impatience and passion a look of tender upbraiding from her was always sufficient to melt me into tears and make me ductile to her will If sorrow for her loss be an atonement for the offences which I committed during her life ample atonement has been made
My father is a man of slender capacity but of a temper easy and flexible He was sober and industrious by habit He was content to be guided by the superior intelligence of his wife Under this guidance he prospered but when that was withdrawn his affairs soon began to betray marks of unskilfulness and negligence My understanding perhaps qualified me to counsel and assist my father but I was wholly unaccustomed to the task of superintendence Besides gentleness and fortitude did not descend to me from my mother and these were indispensable attributes in a boy who desires to dictate to his grayheaded parent Time perhaps might have conferred dexterity on me or prudence on him had not a most unexpected event given a different direction to my views
Betty Lawrence was a wild girl from the pineforests of New Jersey At the age of ten years she became a bound servant in this city and after the expiration of her time came into my fathers neighbourhood in search of employment She was hired in our family as milkmaid and marketwoman Her features were coarse her frame robust her mind totally unlettered and her morals defective in that point in which female excellence is supposed chiefly to consist She possessed superabundant health and goodhumour and was quite a supportable companion in the hayfield or the barnyard
On the death of my mother she was exalted to a somewhat higher station The same tasks fell to her lot but the time and manner of performing them were in some degree submitted to her own choice The cows and the dairy were still her province but in this no one interfered with her or pretended to prescribe her measures For this province she seemed not unqualified and as long as my father was pleased with her management I had nothing to object
This state of things continued without material variation for several months There were appearances in my fathers deportment to Betty which excited my reflections but not my fears The deference which was occasionally paid to the advice or the claims of this girl was accounted for by that feebleness of mind which degraded my father in whatever scene he should be placed to be the tool of others I had no conception that her claims extended beyond a temporary or superficial gratification
At length however a visible change took place in her manners A scornful affectation and awkward dignity began to be assumed A greater attention was paid to dress which was of gayer hues and more fashionable texture I rallied her on these tokens of a sweetheart and amused myself with expatiating to her on the qualifications of her lover A clownish fellow was frequently her visitant His attentions did not appear to be discouraged He therefore was readily supposed to be the man When pointed out as the favourite great resentment was expressed and obscure insinuations were made that her aim was not quite so low as that These denials I supposed to be customary on such occasions and considered the continuance of his visits as a sufficient confutation of them
I frequently spoke of Betty her newlyacquired dignity and of the probable cause of her change of manners to my father When this theme was started a certain coldness and reserve overspread his features He dealt in monosyllables and either laboured to change the subject or made some excuse for leaving me This behaviour though it occasioned surprise was never very deeply reflected on My father was old and the mournful impressions which were made upon him by the death of his wife the lapse of almost half a year seemed scarcely to have weakened Betty had chosen her partner and I was in daily expectation of receiving a summons to the wedding
One afternoon this girl dressed herself in the gayest manner and seemed making preparations for some momentous ceremony My father had directed me to put the horse to the chaise On my inquiring whither he was going he answered me in general terms that he had some business at a few miles distance I offered to go in his stead but he said that was impossible I was proceeding to ascertain the possibility of this when he left me to go to a field where his workmen were busy directing me to inform him when the chaise was ready to supply his place while absent in overlooking the workmen
This office was performed but before I called him from the field I exchanged a few words with the milkmaid who sat on a bench in all the primness of expectation and decked with the most gaudy plumage I rated her imaginary lover for his tardiness and vowed eternal hatred to them both for not making me a brides attendant She listened to me with an air in which embarrassment was mingled sometimes with exultation and sometimes with malice I left her at length and returned to the house not till a late hour As soon as I entered my father presented Betty to me as his wife and desired she might receive that treatment from me which was due to a mother
It was not till after repeated and solemn declarations from both of them that I was prevailed upon to credit this event Its effect upon my feelings may be easily conceived I knew the woman to be rude ignorant and licentious Had I suspected this event I might have fortified my fathers weakness and enabled him to shun the gulf to which he was tending but my presumption had been careless of the danger To think that such a one should take the place of my revered mother was intolerable
To treat her in any way not squaring with her real merits to hinder anger and scorn from rising at the sight of her in her new condition was not in my power To be degraded to the rank of her servant to become the sport of her malice and her artifices was not to be endured I had no independent provision but I was the only child of my father and had reasonably hoped to succeed to his patrimony On this hope I had built a thousand agreeable visions I had meditated innumerable projects which the possession of this estate would enable me to execute I had no wish beyond the trade of agriculture and beyond the opulence which a hundred acres would give
These visions were now at an end No doubt her own interest would be to this woman the supreme law and this would be considered as irreconcilably hostile to mine My father would easily be moulded to her purpose and that act easily extorted from him which should reduce me to beggary She had a gross and perverse taste She had a numerous kindred indigent and hungry On these his substance would speedily be lavished Me she hated because she was conscious of having injured me because she knew that I held her in contempt and because I had detected her in an illicit intercourse with the son of a neighbour
The house in which I lived was no longer my own nor even my fathers Hitherto I had thought and acted in it with the freedom of a master but now I was become in my own conceptions an alien and an enemy to the roof under which I was born Every tie which had bound me to it was dissolved or converted into something which repelled me to a distance from it I was a guest whose presence was borne with anger and impatience
I was fully impressed with the necessity of removal but I knew not whither to go or what kind of subsistence to seek My father had been a Scottish emigrant and had no kindred on this side of the ocean My mothers family lived in New Hampshire and long separation had extinguished all the rights of relationship in her offspring Tilling the earth was my only profession and to profit by my skill in it it would be necessary to become a daylabourer in the service of strangers but this was a destiny to which I who had so long enjoyed the pleasures of independence and command could not suddenly reconcile myself It occurred to me that the city might afford me an asylum A short days journey would transport me into it I had been there twice or thrice in my life but only for a few hours each time I knew not a human face and was a stranger to its modes and dangers I was qualified for no employment compatible with a town life but that of the pen This indeed had ever been a favourite tool with me and though it may appear somewhat strange it is no less true that I had had nearly as much practice at the quill as at the mattock But the sum of my skill lay in tracing distinct characters I had used it merely to transcribe what others had written or to give form to my own conceptions Whether the city would afford me employment as a mere copyist sufficiently lucrative was a point on which I possessed no means of information
My determination was hastened by the conduct of my new mother My conjectures as to the course she would pursue with regard to me had not been erroneous My fathers deportment in a short time grew sullen and austere Directions were given in a magisterial tone and any remissness in the execution of his orders was rebuked with an air of authority At length these rebukes were followed by certain intimations that I was now old enough to provide for myself that it was time to think of some employment by which I might secure a livelihood that it was a shame for me to spend my youth in idleness that what he had gained was by his own labour and I must be indebted for my living to the same source
These hints were easily understood At first they excited indignation and grief I knew the source whence they sprung and was merely able to suppress the utterance of my feelings in her presence My looks however were abundantly significant and my company became hourly more insupportable Abstracted from these considerations my fathers remonstrances were not destitute of weight He gave me being but sustenance ought surely to be my own gift In the use of that for which he had been indebted to his own exertions he might reasonably consult his own choice He assumed no control over me he merely did what he would with his own and so far from fettering my liberty he exhorted me to use it for my own benefit and to make provision for myself
I now reflected that there were other manual occupations besides that of the plough Among these none had fewer disadvantages than that of carpenter or cabinetmaker I had no knowledge of this art but neither custom nor law nor the impenetrableness of the mystery required me to serve a seven years apprenticeship to it A master in this trade might possibly be persuaded to take me under his tuition two or three years would suffice to give me the requisite skill Meanwhile my father would perhaps consent to bear the cost of my maintenance Nobody could live upon less than I was willing to do
I mentioned these ideas to my father but he merely commended my intentions without offering to assist me in the execution of them He had full employment he said for all the profits of his ground No doubt if I would bind myself to serve four or five years my master would be at the expense of my subsistence Be that as it would I must look for nothing from him I had shown very little regard for his happiness I had refused all marks of respect to a woman who was entitled to it from her relation to him He did not see why he should treat as a son one who refused what was due to him as a father He thought it right that I should henceforth maintain myself He did not want my services on the farm and the sooner I quitted his house the better
I retired from this conference with a resolution to follow the advice that was given I saw that henceforth I must be my own protector and wondered at the folly that detained me so long under his roof To leave it was now become indispensable and there could be no reason for delaying my departure for a single hour I determined to bend my course to the city The scheme foremost in my mind was to apprentice myself to some mechanical trade I did not overlook the evils of constraint and the dubiousness as to the character of the master I should choose I was not without hopes that accident would suggest a different expedient and enable me to procure an immediate subsistence without forfeiting my liberty
I determined to commence my journey the next morning No wonder the prospect of so considerable a change in my condition should deprive me of sleep I spent the night ruminating on the future and in painting to my fancy the adventures which I should be likely to meet The foresight of man is in proportion to his knowledge No wonder that in my state of profound ignorance not the faintest preconception should be formed of the events that really befell me My temper was inquisitive but there was nothing in the scene to which I was going from which my curiosity expected to derive gratification Discords and evil smells unsavoury food unwholesome labour and irksome companions were in my opinion the unavoidable attendants of a city
My best clothes were of the homeliest texture and shape My whole stock of linen consisted of three check shirts Part of my winter evenings employment since the death of my mother consisted in knitting my own stockings Of these I had three pair one of which I put on and the rest I formed together with two shirts into a bundle Three quarterdollar pieces composed my whole fortune in money
CHAPTER III
I rose at the dawn and without asking or bestowing a blessing sallied forth into the highroad to the city which passed near the house I left nothing behind the loss of which I regretted I had purchased most of my own books with the product of my own separate industry and their number being of course small I had by incessant application gotten the whole of them by rote They had ceased therefore to be of any further use I left them without reluctance to the fate for which I knew them to be reserved that of affording food and habitation to mice
I trod this unwonted path with all the fearlessness of youth In spite of the motives to despondency and apprehension incident to my state my heels were light and my heart joyous Now said I I am mounted into man I must build a name and a fortune for myself Strange if this intellect and these hands will not supply me with an honest livelihood I will try the city in the first place but if that should fail resources are still left to me I will resume my post in the cornfield and threshingfloor to which I shall always have access and where I shall always be happy
I had proceeded some miles on my journey when I began to feel the inroads of hunger I might have stopped at any farmhouse and have breakfasted for nothing It was prudent to husband with the utmost care my slender stock but I felt reluctance to beg as long as I had the means of buying and I imagined that coarse bread and a little milk would cost little even at a tavern when any farmer was willing to bestow them for nothing My resolution was further influenced by the appearance of a signpost What excuse could I make for begging a breakfast with an inn at hand and silver in my pocket
I stopped accordingly and breakfasted The landlord was remarkably attentive and obliging but his bread was stale his milk sour and his cheese the greenest imaginable I disdained to animadvert on these defects naturally supposing that his house could furnish no better
Having finished my meal I put without speaking one of my pieces into his hand This deportment I conceived to be highly becoming and to indicate a liberal and manly spirit I always regarded with contempt a scrupulous maker of bargains He received the money with a complaisant obeisance Right said he Just the money sir You are on foot sir A pleasant way of travelling sir I wish you a good day sir So saying he walked away
This proceeding was wholly unexpected I conceived myself entitled to at least threefourths of it in change The first impulse was to call him back and contest the equity of his demand but a moments reflection showed me the absurdity of such conduct I resumed my journey with spirits somewhat depressed I have heard of voyagers and wanderers in deserts who were willing to give a casket of gems for a cup of cold water I had not supposed my own condition to be in any respect similar yet I had just given onethird of my estate for a breakfast
I stopped at noon at another inn I counted on purchasing a dinner for the same price since I meant to content myself with the same fare A large company was just sitting down to a smoking banquet The landlord invited me to join them I took my place at the table but was furnished with bread and milk Being prepared to depart I took him aside What is to pay said I—Did you drink any thing sir—Certainly I drank the milk which was furnished—But any liquors sir—No
He deliberated a moment and then assuming an air of disinterestedness Tis our custom to charge dinner and club but as you drank nothing well let the club go A mere dinner is half a dollar sir
He had no leisure to attend to my fluctuations After debating with myself on what was to be done I concluded that compliance was best and leaving the money at the bar resumed my way
I had not performed more than half my journey yet my purse was entirely exhausted This was a specimen of the cost incurred by living at an inn If I entered the city a tavern must at least for some time be my abode but I had not a farthing remaining to defray my charges My father had formerly entertained a boarder for a dollar per week and in case of need I was willing to subsist upon coarser fare and lie on a harder bed than those with which our guest had been supplied These facts had been the foundation of my negligence on this occasion
What was now to be done To return to my paternal mansion was impossible To relinquish my design of entering the city and to seek a temporary asylum if not permanent employment at some one of the plantations within view was the most obvious expedient These deliberations did not slacken my pace I was almost unmindful of my way when I found I had passed Schuylkill at the upper bridge I was now within the precincts of the city and night was hastening It behooved me to come to a speedy decision
Suddenly I recollected that I had not paid the customary toll at the bridge neither had I money wherewith to pay it A demand of payment would have suddenly arrested my progress and so slight an incident would have precluded that wonderful destiny to which I was reserved The obstacle that would have hindered my advance now prevented my return Scrupulous honesty did not require me to turn back and awaken the vigilance of the tollgatherer I had nothing to pay and by returning I should only double my debt Let it stand said I where it does All that honour enjoins is to pay when I am able
I adhered to the crossways till I reached Market Street Night had fallen and a triple row of lamps presented a spectacle enchanting and new My personal cares were for a time lost in the tumultuous sensations with which I was now engrossed I had never visited the city at this hour When my last visit was paid I was a mere child The novelty which environed every object was therefore nearly absolute I proceeded with more cautious steps but was still absorbed in attention to passing objects I reached the markethouse and entering it indulged myself in new delight and new wonder
I need not remark that our ideas of magnificence and splendour are merely comparative yet you may be prompted to smile when I tell you that in walking through this avenue I for a moment conceived myself transported to the hall pendent with many a row of starry lamps and blazing crescents fed by naphtha and asphaltos That this transition from my homely and quiet retreat had been effected in so few hours wore the aspect of miracle or magic
I proceeded from one of these buildings to another till I reached their termination in Front Street Here my progress was checked and I sought repose to my weary limbs by seating myself on a stall No wonder some fatigue was felt by me accustomed as I was to strenuous exertions since exclusive of the minutes spent at breakfast and dinner I had travelled fifteen hours and fortyfive miles
I began now to reflect with some earnestness on my condition I was a stranger friendless and moneyless I was unable to purchase food and shelter and was wholly unused to the business of begging Hunger was the only serious inconvenience to which I was immediately exposed I had no objection to spend the night in the spot where I then sat I had no fear that my visions would be troubled by the officers of police It was no crime to be without a home but how should I supply my present cravings and the cravings of tomorrow
At length it occurred to me that one of our country neighbours was probably at this time in the city He kept a store as well as cultivated a farm He was a plain and wellmeaning man and should I be so fortunate as to meet him his superior knowledge of the city might be of essential benefit to me in my present forlorn circumstances His generosity might likewise induce him to lend me so much as would purchase one meal I had formed the resolution to leave the city next day and was astonished at the folly that had led me into it but meanwhile my physical wants must be supplied
Where should I look for this man In the course of conversation I recollected him to have referred to the place of his temporary abode It was an inn but the sign or the name of the keeper for some time withstood all my efforts to recall them
At length I lighted on the last It was Leshers tavern I immediately set out in search of it After many inquiries I at last arrived at the door I was preparing to enter the house when I perceived that my bundle was gone I had left it on the stall where I had been sitting People were perpetually passing to and fro It was scarcely possible not to have been noticed No one that observed it would fail to make it his prey Yet it was of too much value to me to allow me to be governed by a bare probability I resolved to lose not a moment in returning
With some difficulty I retraced my steps but the bundle had disappeared The clothes were in themselves of small value but they constituted the whole of my wardrobe and I now reflected that they were capable of being transmuted by the pawn or sale of them into food There were other wretches as indigent as I was and I consoled myself by thinking that my shirts and stockings might furnish a seasonable covering to their nakedness but there was a relic concealed within this bundle the loss of which could scarcely be endured by me It was the portrait of a young man who died three years ago at my fathers house drawn by his own hand
He was discovered one morning in the orchard with many marks of insanity upon him His air and dress bespoke some elevation of rank and fortune My mothers compassion was excited and as his singularities were harmless an asylum was afforded him though he was unable to pay for it He was constantly declaiming in an incoherent manner about some mistress who had proved faithless His speeches seemed however like the rantings of an actor to be rehearsed by rote or for the sake of exercise He was totally careless of his person and health and by repeated negligences of this kind at last contracted a fever of which he speedily died The name which he assumed was Clavering
He gave no distinct account of his family but stated in loose terms that they were residents in England highborn and wealthy That they had denied him the woman whom he loved and banished him to America under penalty of death if he should dare to return and that they had refused him all means of subsistence in a foreign land He predicted in his wild and declamatory way his own death He was very skilful at the pencil and drew this portrait a short time before his dissolution presented it to me and charged me to preserve it in remembrance of him My mother loved the youth because he was amiable and unfortunate and chiefly because she fancied a very powerful resemblance between his countenance and mine I was too young to build affection on any rational foundation I loved him for whatever reason with an ardour unusual at my age and which this portrait had contributed to prolong and to cherish
In thus finally leaving my home I was careful not to leave this picture behind I wrapped it in paper in which a few elegiac stanzas were inscribed in my own hand and with my utmost elegance of penmanship I then placed it in a leathern case which for greater security was deposited in the centre of my bundle It will occur to you perhaps that it would be safer in some fold or pocket of the clothes which I wore I was of a different opinion and was now to endure the penalty of my error
It was in vain to heap execrations on my negligence or to consume the little strength left to me in regrets I returned once more to the tavern and made inquiries for Mr Capper the person whom I have just mentioned as my fathers neighbour I was informed that Capper was now in town that he had lodged on the last night at this house that he had expected to do the same tonight but a gentleman had called ten minutes ago whose invitation to lodge with him tonight had been accepted They had just gone out together Who I asked was the gentleman The landlord had no knowledge of him he knew neither his place of abode nor his name Was Mr Capper expected to return hither in the morning No he had heard the stranger propose to Mr Capper to go with him into the country tomorrow and Mr Capper he believed had assented
This disappointment was peculiarly severe I had lost by my own negligence the only opportunity that would offer of meeting my friend Had even the recollection of my loss been postponed for three minutes I should have entered the house and a meeting would have been secured I could discover no other expedient to obviate the present evil My heart began now for the first time to droop I looked back with nameless emotions on the days of my infancy I called up the image of my mother I reflected on the infatuation of my surviving parent and the usurpation of the detestable Betty with horror I viewed myself as the most calamitous and desolate of human beings
At this time I was sitting in the common room There were others in the same apartment lounging or whistling or singing I noticed them not but leaning my head upon my hand I delivered myself up to painful and intense meditation From this I was roused by some one placing himself on the bench near me and addressing me thus—Pray sir if you will excuse me who was the person whom you were looking for just now Perhaps I can give you the information you want If I can you will be very welcome to it I fixed my eyes with some eagerness on the person that spoke He was a young man expensively and fashionably dressed whose mien was considerably prepossessing and whose countenance bespoke some portion of discernment I described to him the man whom I sought I am in search of the same man myself said he but I expect to meet him here He may lodge elsewhere but he promised to meet me here at half after nine I have no doubt he will fulfil his promise so that you will meet the gentleman
I was highly gratified by this information and thanked my informant with some degree of warmth My gratitude he did not notice but continued In order to beguile expectation I have ordered supper will you do me the favour to partake with me unless indeed you have supped already I was obliged somewhat awkwardly to decline his invitation conscious as I was that the means of payment were not in my power He continued however to urge my compliance till at length it was though reluctantly yielded My chief motive was the certainty of seeing Capper
My new acquaintance was exceedingly conversible but his conversation was chiefly characterized by frankness and goodhumour My reserve gradually diminished and I ventured to inform him in general terms of my former condition and present views He listened to my details with seeming attention and commented on them with some judiciousness His statements however tended to discourage me from remaining in the city
Meanwhile the hour passed and Capper did not appear I noticed this circumstance to him with no little solicitude He said that possibly he might have forgotten or neglected his engagement His affair was not of the highest importance and might be readily postponed to a future opportunity He perceived that my vivacity was greatly damped by this intelligence He importuned me to disclose the cause He made himself very merry with my distress when it was at length discovered As to the expense of supper I had partaken of it at his invitation he therefore should of course be charged with it As to lodging he had a chamber and a bed which he would insist upon my sharing with him
My faculties were thus kept upon the stretch of wonder Every new act of kindness in this man surpassed the fondest expectation that I had formed I saw no reason why I should be treated with benevolence I should have acted in the same manner if placed in the same circumstances yet it appeared incongruous and inexplicable I know whence my ideas of human nature were derived They certainly were not the offspring of my own feelings These would have taught me that interest and duty were blended in every act of generosity
I did not come into the world without my scruples and suspicions I was more apt to impute kindnesses to sinister and hidden than to obvious and laudable motives
I paused to reflect upon the possible designs of this person What end could be served by this behaviour I was no subject of violence or fraud I had neither trinket nor coin to stimulate the treachery of others What was offered was merely lodging for the night Was this an act of such transcendent disinterestedness as to be incredible My garb was meaner than that of my companion but my intellectual accomplishments were at least upon a level with his Why should he be supposed to be insensible to my claims upon his kindness I was a youth destitute of experience money and friends but I was not devoid of all mental and personal endowments That my merit should be discovered even on such slender intercourse had surely nothing in it that shocked belief
While I was thus deliberating my new friend was earnest in his solicitations for my company He remarked my hesitation but ascribed it to a wrong cause Come said he I can guess your objections and can obviate them You are afraid of being ushered into company and people who have passed their lives like you have a wonderful antipathy to strange faces but this is bedtime with our family so that we can defer your introduction to them till tomorrow We may go to our chamber without being seen by any but servants
I had not been aware of this circumstance My reluctance flowed from a different cause but now that the inconveniences of ceremony were mentioned they appeared to me of considerable weight I was well pleased that they should thus be avoided and consented to go along with him
We passed several streets and turned several corners At last we turned into a kind of court which seemed to be chiefly occupied by stables We will go said he by the back way into the house We shall thus save ourselves the necessity of entering the parlour where some of the family may still be
My companion was as talkative as ever but said nothing from which I could gather any knowledge of the number character and condition of his family
CHAPTER IV
We arrived at a brick wall through which we passed by a gate into an extensive court or yard The darkness would allow me to see nothing but outlines Compared with the pigmy dimensions of my fathers wooden hovel the buildings before me were of gigantic loftiness The horses were here far more magnificently accommodated than I had been By a large door we entered an elevated hall Stay here said he just while I fetch a light
He returned bearing a candle before I had time to ponder on my present situation
We now ascended a staircase covered with painted canvas No one whose inexperience is less than mine can imagine to himself the impressions made upon me by surrounding objects The height to which this stair ascended its dimensions and its ornaments appeared to me a combination of all that was pompous and superb
We stopped not till we had reached the third story Here my companion unlocked and led the way into a chamber This said he is my room permit me to welcome you into it
I had no time to examine this room before by some accident the candle was extinguished Curse upon my carelessness said he I must go down again and light the candle I will return in a twinkling Meanwhile you may undress yourself and go to bed He went out and as I afterwards recollected locked the door behind him
I was not indisposed to follow his advice but my curiosity would first be gratified by a survey of the room Its height and spaciousness were imperfectly discernible by starlight and by gleams from a streetlamp The floor was covered with a carpet the walls with brilliant hangings the bed and windows were shrouded by curtains of a rich texture and glossy hues Hitherto I had merely read of these things I knew them to be the decorations of opulence and yet as I viewed them and remembered where and what I was on the same hour the preceding day I could scarcely believe myself awake or that my senses were not beguiled by some spell
Where said I will this adventure terminate I rise on the morrow with the dawn and speed into the country When this night is remembered how like a vision will it appear If I tell the tale by a kitchenfire my veracity will be disputed I shall be ranked with the storytellers of Shiraz and Bagdad
Though busied in these reflections I was not inattentive to the progress of time Methought my companion was remarkably dilatory He went merely to relight his candle but certainly he might during this time have performed the operation ten times over Some unforeseen accident might occasion his delay
Another interval passed and no tokens of his coming I began now to grow uneasy I was unable to account for his detention Was not some treachery designed I went to the door and found that it was locked This heightened my suspicions I was alone a stranger in an upper room of the house Should my conductor have disappeared by design or by accident and some one of the family should find me here what would be the consequence Should I not be arrested as a thief and conveyed to prison My transition from the street to this chamber would not be more rapid than my passage hence to a jail
These ideas struck me with panic I revolved them anew but they only acquired greater plausibility No doubt I had been the victim of malicious artifice Inclination however conjured up opposite sentiments and my fears began to subside What motive I asked could induce a human being to inflict wanton injury I could not account for his delay but how numberless were the contingencies that might occasion it
I was somewhat comforted by these reflections but the consolation they afforded was shortlived I was listening with the utmost eagerness to catch the sound of a foot when a noise was indeed heard but totally unlike a step It was human breath struggling as it were for passage On the first effort of attention it appeared like a groan Whence it arose I could not tell He that uttered it was near perhaps in the room
Presently the same noise was again heard and now I perceived that it came from the bed It was accompanied with a motion like some one changing his posture What I at first conceived to be a groan appeared now to be nothing more than the expiration of a sleeping man What should I infer from this incident My companion did not apprize me that the apartment was inhabited Was his imposture a jestful or a wicked one
There was no need to deliberate There were no means of concealment or escape The person would some time awaken and detect me The interval would only be fraught with agony and it was wise to shorten it Should I not withdraw the curtain awake the person and encounter at once all the consequences of my situation I glided softly to the bed when the thought occurred May not the sleeper be a female
I cannot describe the mixture of dread and of shame which glowed in my veins The light in which such a visitant would be probably regarded by a womans fears the precipitate alarms that might be given the injury which I might unknowingly inflict or undeservedly suffer threw my thoughts into painful confusion My presence might pollute a spotless reputation or furnish fuel to jealousy
Still though it were a female would not less injury be done by gently interrupting her slumber But the question of sex still remained to be decided For this end I once more approached the bed and drew aside the silk The sleeper was a babe This I discovered by the glimmer of a streetlamp
Part of my solicitudes were now removed It was plain that this chamber belonged to a nurse or a mother She had not yet come to bed Perhaps it was a married pair and their approach might be momently expected I pictured to myself their entrance and my own detection I could imagine no consequence that was not disastrous and horrible and from which I would not at any price escape I again examined the door and found that exit by this avenue was impossible There were other doors in this room Any practicable expedient in this extremity was to be pursued One of these was bolted I unfastened it and found a considerable space within Should I immure myself in this closet I saw no benefit that would finally result from it I discovered that there was a bolt on the inside which would somewhat contribute to security This being drawn no one could enter without breaking the door
I had scarcely paused when the longexpected sound of footsteps was heard in the entry Was it my companion or a stranger If it were the latter I had not yet mustered courage sufficient to meet him I cannot applaud the magnanimity of my proceeding but no one can expect intrepid or judicious measures from one in my circumstances I stepped into the closet and closed the door Some one immediately after unlocked the chamber door He was unattended with a light The footsteps as they moved along the carpet could scarcely be heard
I waited impatiently for some token by which I might be governed I put my ear to the keyhole and at length heard a voice but not that of my companion exclaim somewhat above a whisper Smiling cherub safe and sound I see Would to God my experiment may succeed and that thou mayest find a mother where I have found a wife There he stopped He appeared to kiss the babe and presently retiring locked the door after him
These words were capable of no consistent meaning They served at least to assure me that I had been treacherously dealt with This chamber it was manifest did not belong to my companion I put up prayers to my Deity that he would deliver me from these toils What a condition was mine Immersed in palpable darkness shut up in this unknown recess lurking like a robber
My meditations were disturbed by new sounds The door was unlocked more than one person entered the apartment and light streamed through the keyhole I looked but the aperture was too small and the figures passed too quickly to permit me the sight of them I bent my ear and this imparted some more authentic information
The man as I judged by the voice was the same who had just departed Rustling of silk denoted his companion to be female Some words being uttered by the man in too low a key to be overheard the lady burst into a passion of tears He strove to comfort her by soothing tones and tender appellations How can it be helped said he It is time to resume your courage Your duty to yourself and to me requires you to subdue this unreasonable grief
He spoke frequently in this strain but all he said seemed to have little influence in pacifying the lady At length however her sobs began to lessen in vehemence and frequency He exhorted her to seek for some repose Apparently she prepared to comply and conversation was for a few minutes intermitted
I could not but advert to the possibility that some occasion to examine the closet in which I was immured might occur I knew not in what manner to demean myself if this should take place I had no option at present By withdrawing myself from view I had lost the privilege of an upright deportment Yet the thought of spending the night in this spot was not to be endured
Gradually I began to view the project of bursting from the closet and trusting to the energy of truth and of an artless tale with more complacency More than once my hand was placed upon the bolt but withdrawn by a sudden faltering of resolution When one attempt failed I recurred once more to such reflections as were adapted to renew my purpose
I preconcerted the address which I should use I resolved to be perfectly explicit to withhold no particular of my adventures from the moment of my arrival My description must necessarily suit some person within their knowledge All I should want was liberty to depart but if this were not allowed I might at least hope to escape any ill treatment and to be confronted with my betrayer In that case I did not fear to make him the attester of my innocence
Influenced by these considerations I once more touched the lock At that moment the lady shrieked and exclaimed Good God What is here An interesting conversation ensued The object that excited her astonishment was the child I collected from what passed that the discovery was wholly unexpected by her Her husband acted as if equally unaware of this event He joined in all her exclamations of wonder and all her wild conjectures When these were somewhat exhausted he artfully insinuated the propriety of bestowing care upon the little foundling I now found that her grief had been occasioned by the recent loss of her own offspring She was for some time averse to her husbands proposal but at length was persuaded to take the babe to her bosom and give it nourishment
This incident had diverted my mind from its favourite project and filled me with speculations on the nature of the scene One explication was obvious that the husband was the parent of this child and had used this singular expedient to procure for it the maternal protection of his wife It would soon claim from her all the fondness which she entertained for her own progeny No suspicion probably had yet or would hereafter occur with regard to its true parent If her character be distinguished by the usual attributes of women the knowledge of this truth may convert her love into hatred I reflected with amazement on the slightness of that thread by which human passions are led from their true direction With no less amazement did I remark the complexity of incidents by which I had been empowered to communicate to her this truth How baseless are the structures of falsehood which we build in opposition to the system of eternal nature If I should escape undetected from this recess it will be true that I never saw the face of either of these persons and yet I am acquainted with the most secret transaction of their lives
My own situation was now more critical than before The lights were extinguished and the parties had sought repose To issue from the closet now would be imminently dangerous My councils were again at a stand and my designs frustrated Meanwhile the persons did not drop their discourse and I thought myself justified in listening Many facts of the most secret and momentous nature were alluded to Some allusions were unintelligible To others I was able to affix a plausible meaning and some were palpable enough Every word that was uttered on that occasion is indelibly imprinted on my memory Perhaps the singularity of my circumstances and my previous ignorance of what was passing in the world contributed to render me a greedy listener Most that was said I shall overlook but one part of the conversation it will be necessary to repeat
A large company had assembled that evening at their house They criticized the character and manners of several At last the husband said What think you of the nabob Especially when he talked about riches How artfully he encourages the notion of his poverty Yet not a soul believes him I cannot for my part account for that scheme of his I half suspect that his wealth flows from a bad source since he is so studious of concealing it
Perhaps after all said the lady you are mistaken as to his wealth
Impossible exclaimed the other Mark how he lives Have I not seen his bankaccount His deposits since he has been here amount to no less than half a million
Heaven grant that it be so said the lady with a sigh I shall think with less aversion of your scheme If poor Toms fortune be made and he not the worse or but little the worse on that account I shall think it on the whole best
That replied he is what reconciles me to the scheme To him thirty thousand are nothing
But will he not suspect you of some hand in it
How can he Will I not appear to lose as well as himself Tom is my brother but who can be supposed to answer for a brothers integrity but he cannot suspect either of us Nothing less than a miracle can bring our plot to light Besides this man is not what he ought to be He will some time or other come out to be a grand impostor He makes money by other arts than bargain and sale He has found his way by some means to the Portuguese treasury
Here the conversation took a new direction and after some time the silence of sleep ensued
Who thought I is this nabob who counts his dollars by halfmillions and on whom it seems as if some fraud was intended to be practised Amidst their wariness and subtlety how little are they aware that their conversation has been overheard By means as inscrutable as those which conducted me hither I may hereafter be enabled to profit by this detection of a plot But meanwhile what was I to do How was I to effect my escape from this perilous asylum
After much reflection it occurred to me that to gain the street without exciting their notice was not utterly impossible Sleep does not commonly end of itself unless at a certain period What impediments were there between me and liberty which I could not remove and remove with so much caution as to escape notice Motion and sound inevitably go together but every sound is not attended to The doors of the closet and the chamber did not creak upon their hinges The latter might be locked This I was able to ascertain only by experiment If it were so yet the key was probably in the lock and might be used without much noise
I waited till their slow and hoarser inspirations showed them to be both asleep Just then on changing my position my head struck against some things which depended from the ceiling of the closet They were implements of some kind which rattled against each other in consequence of this unlucky blow I was fearful lest this noise should alarm as the closet was little distant from the bed The breathing of one instantly ceased and a motion was made as if the head were lifted from the pillow This motion which was made by the husband awaked his companion who exclaimed What is the matter
Something I believe replied he in the closet If I was not dreaming I heard the pistols strike against each other as if some one was taking them down
This intimation was well suited to alarm the lady She besought him to ascertain the matter This to my utter dismay he at first consented to do but presently observed that probably his ears had misinformed him It was hardly possible that the sound proceeded from them It might be a rat or his own fancy might have fashioned it It is not easy to describe my trepidations while this conference was holding I saw how easily their slumber was disturbed The obstacles to my escape were less surmountable than I had imagined
In a little time all was again still I waited till the usual tokens of sleep were distinguishable I once more resumed my attempt The bolt was withdrawn with all possible slowness but I could by no means prevent all sound My state was full of inquietude and suspense my attention being painfully divided between the bolt and the condition of the sleepers The difficulty lay in giving that degree of force which was barely sufficient Perhaps not less than fifteen minutes were consumed in this operation At last it was happily effected and the door was cautiously opened
Emerging as I did from utter darkness the light admitted into three windows produced to my eyes a considerable illumination Objects which on my first entrance into this apartment were invisible were now clearly discerned The bed was shrouded by curtains yet I shrunk back into my covert fearful of being seen To facilitate my escape I put off my shoes My mind was so full of objects of more urgent moment that the propriety of taking them along with me never occurred I left them in the closet
I now glided across the apartment to the door I was not a little discouraged by observing that the key was wanting My whole hope depended on the omission to lock it In my haste to ascertain this point I made some noise which again roused one of the sleepers He started and cried Who is there
I now regarded my case as desperate and detection as inevitable My apprehensions rather than my caution kept me mute I shrunk to the wall and waited in a kind of agony for the moment that should decide my fate
The lady was again roused In answer to her inquiries her husband said that some one he believed was at the door but there was no danger of their entering for he had locked it and the key was in his pocket
My courage was completely annihilated by this piece of intelligence My resources were now at an end I could only remain in this spot till the morning light which could be at no great distance should discover me My inexperience disabled me from estimating all the perils of my situation Perhaps I had no more than temporary inconveniences to dread My intention was innocent and I had been betrayed into my present situation not by my own wickedness but the wickedness of others
I was deeply impressed with the ambiguousness which would necessarily rest upon my motives and the scrutiny to which they would be subjected I shuddered at the bare possibility of being ranked with thieves These reflections again gave edge to my ingenuity in search of the means of escape I had carefully attended to the circumstances of their entrance Possibly the act of locking had been unnoticed but was it not likewise possible that this person had been mistaken The key was gone Would this have been the case if the door were unlocked
My fears rather than my hopes impelled me to make the experiment I drew back the latch and to my unspeakable joy the door opened
I passed through and explored my way to the staircase I descended till I reached the bottom I could not recollect with accuracy the position of the door leading into the court but by carefully feeling along the wall with my hands I at length discovered it It was fastened by several bolts and a lock The bolts were easily withdrawn but the key was removed I knew not where it was deposited I thought I had reached the threshold of liberty but here was an impediment that threatened to be insurmountable
But if doors could not be passed windows might be unbarred I remembered that my companion had gone into a door on the left hand in search of a light I searched for this door Fortunately it was fastened only by a bolt It admitted me into a room which I carefully explored till I reached a window I will not dwell on my efforts to unbar this entrance Suffice it to say that after much exertion and frequent mistakes I at length found my way into the yard and thence passed into the court
CHAPTER V
Now I was once more on public ground By so many anxious efforts had I disengaged myself from the perilous precincts of private property As many stratagems as are usually made to enter a house had been employed by me to get out of it I was urged to the use of them by my fears yet so far from carrying off spoil I had escaped with the loss of an essential part of my dress
I had now leisure to reflect I seated myself on the ground and reviewed the scenes through which I had just passed I began to think that my industry had been misemployed Suppose I had met the person on his first entrance into his chamber Was the truth so utterly wild as not to have found credit Since the door was locked and there was no other avenue what other statement but the true one would account for my being found there This deportment had been worthy of an honest purpose My betrayer probably expected that this would be the issue of his jest My rustic simplicity he might think would suggest no more ambiguous or elaborate expedient He might likewise have predetermined to interfere if my safety had been really endangered
On the morrow the two doors of the chamber and the window below would be found unclosed They will suspect a design to pillage but their searches will terminate in nothing but in the discovery of a pair of clumsy and dusty shoes in the closet Now that I was safe I could not help smiling at the picture which my fancy drew of their anxiety and wonder These thoughts however gave place to more momentous considerations
I could not imagine to myself a more perfect example of indigence than I now exhibited There was no being in the city on whose kindness I had any claim Money I had none and what I then wore comprised my whole stock of movables I had just lost my shoes and this loss rendered my stockings of no use My dignity remonstrated against a barefoot pilgrimage but to this necessity now reconciled me I threw my stockings between the bars of a stablewindow belonging as I thought to the mansion I had just left These together with my shoes I left to pay the cost of my entertainment
I saw that the city was no place for me The end that I had had in view of procuring some mechanical employment could only be obtained by the use of means but what means to pursue I knew not This nights perils and deceptions gave me a distaste to a city life and my ancient occupations rose to my view enhanced by a thousand imaginary charms I resolved forthwith to strike into the country
The day began now to dawn It was Sunday and I was desirous of eluding observation I was somewhat recruited by rest though the languors of sleeplessness oppressed me I meant to throw myself on the first lap of verdure I should meet and indulge in sleep that I so much wanted I knew not the direction of the streets but followed that which I first entered from the court trusting that by adhering steadily to one course I should some time reach the fields This street as I afterwards found tended to Schuylkill and soon extricated me from houses I could not cross this river without payment of toll It was requisite to cross it in order to reach that part of the country whither I was desirous of going but how should I effect my passage I knew of no ford and the smallest expense exceeded my capacity Ten thousand guineas and a farthing were equally remote from nothing and nothing was the portion allotted to me
While my mind was thus occupied I turned up one of the streets which tend northward It was for some length uninhabited and unpaved Presently I reached a pavement and a painted fence along which a row of poplars was planted It bounded a garden into which a knothole permitted me to pry The enclosure was a charming green which I saw appended to a house of the loftiest and most stately order It seemed like a recent erection had all the gloss of novelty and exhibited to my unpractised eyes the magnificence of palaces My fathers dwelling did not equal the height of one story and might be easily comprised in onefourth of those buildings which here were designed to accommodate the menials My heart dictated the comparison between my own condition and that of the proprietors of this domain How wide and how impassable was the gulf by which we were separated This fair inheritance had fallen to one who perhaps would only abuse it to the purposes of luxury while I with intentions worthy of the friend of mankind was doomed to wield the flail and the mattock
I had been entirely unaccustomed to this strain of reflection My books had taught me the dignity and safety of the middle path and my darling writer abounded with encomiums on rural life At a distance from luxury and pomp I viewed them perhaps in a just light A nearer scrutiny confirmed my early prepossessions but at the distance at which I now stood the lofty edifices the splendid furniture and the copious accommodations of the rich excited my admiration and my envy
I relinquished my station and proceeded in a heartless mood along the fence I now came to the mansion itself The principal door was entered by a staircase of marble I had never seen the stone of Carrara and wildly supposed this to have been dug from Italian quarries The beauty of the poplars the coolness exhaled from the dewbesprent bricks the commodiousness of the seat which these steps afforded and the uncertainty into which I was plunged respecting my future conduct all combined to make me pause I sat down on the lower step and began to meditate
By some transition it occurred to me that the supply of my most urgent wants might be found in some inhabitant of this house I needed at present a few cents and what were a few cents to the tenant of a mansion like this I had an invincible aversion to the calling of a beggar but I regarded with still more antipathy the vocation of a thief to this alternative however I was now reduced I must either steal or beg unless indeed assistance could be procured under the notion of a loan Would a stranger refuse to lend the pittance that I wanted Surely not when the urgency of my wants was explained
I recollected other obstacles To summon the master of the house from his bed perhaps for the sake of such an application would be preposterous I should be in more danger of provoking his anger than exciting his benevolence This request might surely with more propriety be preferred to a passenger I should probably meet several before I should arrive at Schuylkill
A servant just then appeared at the door with bucket and brush This obliged me much sooner than I intended to decamp With some reluctance I rose and proceeded This house occupied the corner of the street and I now turned this corner towards the country A person at some distance before me was approaching in an opposite direction
Why said I may I not make my demand of the first man I meet This person exhibits tokens of ability to lend There is nothing chilling or austere in his demeanour
The resolution to address this passenger was almost formed but the nearer he advanced my resolves grew less firm He noticed me not till he came within a few paces He seemed busy in reflection and had not my figure caught his eye or had he merely bestowed a passing glance upon me I should not have been sufficiently courageous to have detained him The event however was widely different
He looked at me and started For an instant as it were and till he had time to dart at me a second glance he checked his pace This behaviour decided mine and he stopped on perceiving tokens of a desire to address him I spoke but my accents and air sufficiently denoted my embarrassments—
I am going to solicit a favour which my situation makes of the highest importance to me and which I hope it will be easy for you sir to grant It is not an alms but a loan that I seek a loan that I will repay the moment I am able to do it I am going to the country but have not wherewith to pay my passage over Schuylkill or to buy a morsel of bread May I venture to request of you sir the loan of sixpence As I told you it is my intention to repay it
I delivered this address not without some faltering but with great earnestness I laid particular stress upon my intention to refund the money He listened with a most inquisitive air His eye perused me from head to foot
After some pause he said in a very emphatic manner Why into the country Have you family Kindred Friends
No answered I I have neither I go in search of the means of subsistence I have passed my life upon a farm and propose to die in the same condition
Whence have you come
I came yesterday from the country with a view to earn my bread in some way but have changed my plan and propose now to return
Why have you changed it In what way are you capable of earning your bread
I hardly know said I I can as yet manage no tool that can be managed in the city but the pen My habits have in some small degree qualified me for a writer I would willingly accept employment of that kind
He fixed his eyes upon the earth and was silent for some minutes At length recovering himself he said Follow me to my house Perhaps something may be done for you If not I will lend you sixpence
It may be supposed that I eagerly complied with the invitation My companion said no more his air bespeaking him to be absorbed by his own thoughts till he reached his house which proved to be that at the door of which I had been seated We entered a parlour together
Unless you can assume my ignorance and my simplicity you will be unable to conceive the impressions that were made by the size and ornaments of this apartment I shall omit these impressions which indeed no description could adequately convey and dwell on incidents of greater moment He asked me to give him a specimen of my penmanship I told you that I had bestowed very great attention upon this art Implements were brought and I sat down to the task By some inexplicable connection a line in Shakspeare occurred to me and I wrote—
My poverty but not my will consents
The sentiment conveyed in this line powerfully affected him but in a way which I could not then comprehend I collected from subsequent events that the inference was not unfavourable to my understanding or my morals He questioned me as to my history I related my origin and my inducements to desert my fathers house With respect to last nights adventures I was silent I saw no useful purpose that could be answered by disclosure and I half suspected that my companion would refuse credit to my tale
There were frequent intervals of abstraction and reflection between his questions My examination lasted not much less than an hour At length he said I want an amanuensis or copyist On what terms will you live with me
I answered that I knew not how to estimate the value of my services I knew not whether these services were agreeable or healthful My life had hitherto been active My constitution was predisposed to diseases of the lungs and the change might be hurtful I was willing however to try and to content myself for a month or a year with so much as would furnish me with food clothing and lodging
Tis well said he You remain with me as long and no longer than both of us please You shall lodge and eat in this house I will supply you with clothing and your task will be to write what I dictate Your person I see has not shared much of your attention It is in my power to equip you instantly in the manner which becomes a resident in this house Come with me
He led the way into the court behind and thence into a neat building which contained large wooden vessels and a pump There said he you may wash yourself and when that is done I will conduct you to your chamber and your wardrobe
This was speedily performed and he accordingly led the way to the chamber It was an apartment in the third story finished and furnished in the same costly and superb style with the rest of the house He opened closets and drawers which overflowed with clothes and linen of all and of the best kinds These are yours said he as long as you stay with me Dress yourself as likes you best Here is every thing your nakedness requires When dressed you may descend to breakfast With these words he left me
The clothes were all in the French style as I afterwards by comparing my garb with that of others discovered They were fitted to my shape with the nicest precision I bedecked myself with all my care I remembered the style of dress used by my beloved Clavering My locks were of shining auburn flowing and smooth like his Having wrung the wet from them and combed I tied them carelessly in a black riband Thus equipped I surveyed myself in a mirror
You may imagine if you can the sensations which this instantaneous transformation produced Appearances are wonderfully influenced by dress Check shirt buttoned at the neck an awkward fustian coat check trowsers and bare feet were now supplanted by linen and muslin nankeen coat striped with green a white silk waistcoat elegantly needlewrought cassimere pantaloons stockings of variegated silk and shoes that in their softness pliancy and polished surface vied with satin I could scarcely forbear looking back to see whether the image in the glass so well proportioned so gallant and so graceful did not belong to another I could scarcely recognise any lineaments of my own I walked to the window Twenty minutes ago said I I was traversing that path a barefoot beggar now I am thus Again I surveyed myself Surely some insanity has fastened on my understanding My senses are the sport of dreams Some magic that disdains the cumbrousness of natures progress has wrought this change I was roused from these doubts by a summons to breakfast obsequiously delivered by a black servant
I found Welbeck for I shall henceforth call him by his true name at the breakfasttable A superb equipage of silver and china was before him He was startled at my entrance The change in my dress seemed for a moment to have deceived him His eye was frequently fixed upon me with unusual steadfastness At these times there was inquietude and wonder in his features
I had now an opportunity of examining my host There was nicety but no ornament in his dress His form was of the middle height spare but vigorous and graceful His face was cast I thought in a foreign mould His forehead receded beyond the usual degree in visages which I had seen His eyes large and prominent but imparting no marks of benignity and habitual joy The rest of his face forcibly suggested the idea of a convex edge His whole figure impressed me with emotions of veneration and awe A gravity that almost amounted to sadness invariably attended him when we were alone together
He whispered the servant that waited who immediately retired He then said turning to me A lady will enter presently whom you are to treat with the respect due to my daughter You must not notice any emotion she may betray at the sight of you nor expect her to converse with you for she does not understand your language He had scarcely spoken when she entered I was seized with certain misgivings and flutterings which a clownish education may account for I so far conquered my timidity however as to snatch a look at her I was not born to execute her portrait Perhaps the turban that wreathed her head the brilliant texture and inimitable folds of her drapery and nymphlike port more than the essential attributes of her person gave splendour to the celestial vision Perhaps it was her snowy hues and the cast rather than the position of her features that were so prolific of enchantment or perhaps the wonder originated only in my own ignorance
She did not immediately notice me When she did she almost shrieked with surprise She held up her hands and gazing upon me uttered various exclamations which I could not understand I could only remark that her accents were thrillingly musical Her perturbations refused to be stilled It was with difficulty that she withdrew her regards from me Much conversation passed between her and Welbeck but I could comprehend no part of it I was at liberty to animadvert on the visible part of their intercourse I diverted some part of my attention from my own embarrassments and fixed it on their looks
In this art as in most others I was an unpractised simpleton In the countenance of Welbeck there was somewhat else than sympathy with the astonishment and distress of the lady but I could not interpret these additional tokens When her attention was engrossed by Welbeck her eyes were frequently vagrant or downcast her cheeks contracted a deeper hue and her breathing was almost prolonged into a sigh These were marks on which I made no comments at the time My own situation was calculated to breed confusion in my thoughts and awkwardness in my gestures Breakfast being finished the lady apparently at the request of Welbeck sat down to a pianoforte
Here again I must be silent I was not wholly destitute of musical practice and musical taste I had that degree of knowledge which enabled me to estimate the transcendent skill of this performer As if the pathos of her touch were insufficient I found after some time that the lawless jarrings of the keys were chastened by her own more liquid notes She played without a book and though her bass might be preconcerted it was plain that her righthand notes were momentary and spontaneous inspirations Meanwhile Welbeck stood leaning his arms on the back of a chair near her with his eyes fixed on her face His features were fraught with a meaning which I was eager to interpret but unable
I have read of transitions effected by magic I have read of palaces and deserts which were subject to the dominion of spells poets may sport with their power but I am certain that no transition was ever conceived more marvellous and more beyond the reach of foresight than that which I had just experienced Heaths vexed by a midnight storm may be changed into a hall of choral nymphs and regal banqueting forest glades may give sudden place to colonnades and carnivals but he whose senses are deluded finds himself still on his natal earth These miracles are contemptible when compared with that which placed me under this roof and gave me to partake in this audience I know that my emotions are in danger of being regarded as ludicrous by those who cannot figure to themselves the consequences of a limited and rustic education
CHAPTER VI
In a short time the lady retired I naturally expected that some comments would be made on her behaviour and that the cause of her surprise and distress on seeing me would be explained but Welbeck said nothing on that subject When she had gone he went to the window and stood for some time occupied as it seemed with his own thoughts Then he turned to me and calling me by my name desired me to accompany him upstairs There was neither cheerfulness nor mildness in his address but neither was there any thing domineering or arrogant
We entered an apartment on the same floor with my chamber but separated from it by a spacious entry It was supplied with bureaus cabinets and bookcases This said he is your room and mine but we must enter it and leave it together I mean to act not as your master but your friend My maimed hand so saying he showed me his right hand the forefinger of which was wanting will not allow me to write accurately or copiously For this reason I have required your aid in a work of some moment Much haste will not be requisite and as to the hours and duration of employment these will be seasonable and short
Your present situation is new to you and we will therefore defer entering on our business Meanwhile you may amuse yourself in what manner you please Consider this house as your home and make yourself familiar with it Stay within or go out be busy or be idle as your fancy shall prompt only you will conform to our domestic system as to eating and sleep the servants will inform you of this Next week we will enter on the task for which I designed you You may now withdraw
I obeyed this mandate with some awkwardness and hesitation I went into my own chamber not displeased with an opportunity of loneliness I threw myself on a chair and resigned myself to those thoughts which would naturally arise in this situation I speculated on the character and views of Welbeck I saw that he was embosomed in tranquillity and grandeur Riches therefore were his but in what did his opulence consist and whence did it arise What were the limits by which it was confined and what its degree of permanence I was unhabituated to ideas of floating or transferable wealth The rent of houses and lands was the only species of property which was as yet perfectly intelligible My previous ideas led me to regard Welbeck as the proprietor of this dwelling and of numerous houses and farms By the same cause I was fain to suppose him enriched by inheritance and that his life had been uniform
I next adverted to his social condition This mansion appeared to have but two inhabitants besides servants Who was the nymph who had hovered for a moment in my sight Had he not called her his daughter The apparent difference in their ages would justify this relation but her guise her features and her accents were foreign Her language I suspected strongly to be that of Italy How should he be the father of an Italian But were there not some foreign lineaments in his countenance
This idea seemed to open a new world to my view I had gained from my books confused ideas of European governments and manners I knew that the present was a period of revolution and hostility Might not these be illustrious fugitives from Provence or the Milanese Their portable wealth which may reasonably be supposed to be great they have transported hither Thus may be explained the sorrow that veils their countenance The loss of estates and honours the untimely death of kindred and perhaps of his wife may furnish eternal food for regrets Welbecks utterance though rapid and distinct partook as I conceived in some very slight degree of a foreign idiom
Such was the dream that haunted my undisciplined and unenlightened imagination The more I revolved it the more plausible it seemed On due supposition every appearance that I had witnessed was easily solved—unless it were their treatment of me This at first was a source of hopeless perplexity Gradually however a clue seemed to be afforded Welbeck had betrayed astonishment on my first appearance The ladys wonder was mingled with distress Perhaps they discovered a remarkable resemblance between me and one who stood in the relation of son to Welbeck and of brother to the lady This youth might have perished on the scaffold or in war These no doubt were his clothes This chamber might have been reserved for him but his death left it to be appropriated to another
I had hitherto been unable to guess at the reason why all this kindness had been lavished on me Will not this conjecture sufficiently account for it No wonder that this resemblance was enhanced by assuming his dress
Taking all circumstances into view these ideas were not perhaps destitute of probability Appearances naturally suggested them to me They were also powerfully enforced by inclination They threw me into transports of wonder and hope When I dwelt upon the incidents of my past life and traced the chain of events from the death of my mother to the present moment I almost acquiesced in the notion that some beneficent and ruling genius had prepared my path for me Events which when foreseen would most ardently have been deprecated and when they happened were accounted in the highest degree luckless were now seen to be propitious Hence I inferred the infatuation of despair and the folly of precipitate conclusions
But what was the fate reserved for me Perhaps Welbeck would adopt me for his own son Wealth has ever been capriciously distributed The mere physical relation of birth is all that entitles us to manors and thrones Identity itself frequently depends upon a casual likeness or an old nurses imposture Nations have risen in arms as in the case of the Stuarts in the cause of one the genuineness of whose birth has been denied and can never be proved But if the cause be trivial and fallacious the effects are momentous and solid It ascertains our portion of felicity and usefulness and fixes our lot among peasants or princes
Something may depend upon my own deportment Will it not behoove me to cultivate all my virtues and eradicate all my defects I see that the abilities of this man are venerable Perhaps he will not lightly or hastily decide in my favour He will be governed by the proofs that I shall give of discernment and integrity I had always been exempt from temptation and was therefore undepraved but this view of things had a wonderful tendency to invigorate my virtuous resolutions All within me was exhilaration and joy
There was but one thing wanting to exalt me to a dizzy height and give me place among the stars of heaven My resemblance to her brother had forcibly affected this lady but I was not her brother I was raised to a level with her and made a tenant of the same mansion Some intercourse would take place between us Time would lay level impediments and establish familiarity and this intercourse might foster love and terminate in—marriage
These images were of a nature too glowing and expansive to allow me to be longer inactive I sallied forth into the open air This tumult of delicious thoughts in some time subsided and gave way to images relative to my present situation My curiosity was awake As yet I had seen little of the city and this opportunity for observation was not to be neglected I therefore coursed through several streets attentively examining the objects that successively presented themselves
At length it occurred to me to search out the house in which I had lately been immured I was not without hopes that at some future period I should be able to comprehend the allusions and brighten the obscurities that hung about the dialogue of last night
The house was easily discovered I reconnoitred the court and gate through which I had passed The mansion was of the first order in magnitude and decoration This was not the bound of my present discovery for I was gifted with that confidence which would make me set on foot inquiries in the neighbourhood I looked around for a suitable medium of intelligence The opposite and adjoining houses were small and apparently occupied by persons of an indigent class At one of these was a sign denoting it to be the residence of a tailor Seated on a bench at the door was a young man with coarse uncombed locks breeches kneeunbuttoned stockings ungartered shoes slipshod and unbuckled and a face unwashed gazing stupidly from hollow eyes His aspect was embellished with good nature though indicative of ignorance
This was the only person in sight He might be able to say something concerning his opulent neighbour To him therefore I resolved to apply I went up to him and pointing to the house in question asked him who lived there
He answered Mr Matthews
What is his profession—his way of life
A gentleman He does nothing but walk about
How long has he been married
Married He is not married as I know on He never has been married He is a bachelor
This intelligence was unexpected It made me pause to reflect whether I had not mistaken the house This however seemed impossible I renewed my questions
A bachelor say you Are you not mistaken
No It would be an odd thing if he was married An old fellow with one foot in the grave—Comical enough for him to git a vife
An old man Does he live alone What is his family
No he does not live alone He has a niece that lives with him She is married and her husband lives there too
What is his name
I dont know I never heard it as I know on
What is his trade
Hes a merchant he keeps a store somewhere or other but I dont know where
How long has he been married
About two years They lost a child lately The young woman was in a huge taking about it They say she was quite crazy some days for the death of the child and she is not quite out of the dumps yet Tobesure the child was a sweet little thing but they need not make such a rout about it Ill warn theyll have enough of them before they die
What is the character of the young man Where was he born and educated Has he parents or brothers
My companion was incapable of answering these questions and I left him with little essential addition to the knowledge I already possessed
CHAPTER VII
After viewing various parts of the city intruding into churches and diving into alleys I returned The rest of the day I spent chiefly in my chamber reflecting on my new condition surveying my apartment its presses and closets and conjecturing the causes of appearances
At dinner and supper I was alone Venturing to inquire of the servant where his master and mistress were I was answered that they were engaged I did not question him as to the nature of their engagement though it was a fertile source of curiosity
Next morning at breakfast I again met Welbeck and the lady The incidents were nearly those of the preceding morning if it were not that the lady exhibited tokens of somewhat greater uneasiness When she left us Welbeck sank into apparent meditation I was at a loss whether to retire or remain where I was At last however I was on the point of leaving the room when he broke silence and began a conversation with me
He put questions to me the obvious scope of which was to know my sentiments on moral topics I had no motives to conceal my opinions and therefore delivered them with frankness At length he introduced allusions to my own history and made more particular inquiries on that head Here I was not equally frank yet I did not feign any thing but merely dealt in generals I had acquired notions of propriety on this head perhaps somewhat fastidious Minute details respecting our own concerns are apt to weary all but the narrator himself I said thus much and the truth of my remark was eagerly assented to
With some marks of hesitation and after various preliminaries my companion hinted that my own interest as well as his enjoined upon me silence to all but himself on the subject of my birth and early adventures It was not likely that while in his service my circle of acquaintance would be large or my intercourse with the world frequent but in my communication with others he requested me to speak rather of others than of myself This request he said might appear singular to me but he had his reasons for making it which it was not necessary at present to disclose though when I should know them I should readily acknowledge their validity
I scarcely knew what answer to make I was willing to oblige him I was far from expecting that any exigence would occur making disclosure my duty The employment was productive of pain more than of pleasure and the curiosity that would uselessly seek a knowledge of my past life was no less impertinent than the loquacity that would uselessly communicate that knowledge I readily promised therefore to adhere to his advice
This assurance afforded him evident satisfaction yet it did not seem to amount to quite as much as he wished He repeated in stronger terms the necessity there was for caution He was far from suspecting me to possess an impertinent and talkative disposition or that in my eagerness to expatiate on my own concerns I should overstep the limits of politeness But this was not enough I was to govern myself by a persuasion that the interests of my friend and myself would be materially affected by my conduct
Perhaps I ought to have allowed these insinuations to breed suspicion in my mind but conscious as I was of the benefits which I had received from this man prone from my inexperience to rely upon professions and confide in appearances and unaware that I could be placed in any condition in which mere silence respecting myself could be injurious or criminal I made no scruple to promise compliance with his wishes Nay I went further than this I desired to be accurately informed as to what it was proper to conceal He answered that my silence might extend to every thing anterior to my arrival in the city and my being incorporated with his family Here our conversation ended and I retired to ruminate on what had passed
I derived little satisfaction from my reflections I began now to perceive inconveniences that might arise from this precipitate promise Whatever should happen in consequence of my being immured in the chamber and of the loss of my clothes and of the portrait of my friend I had bound myself to silence These inquietudes however were transient I trusted that these events would operate auspiciously but my curiosity was now awakened as to the motives which Welbeck could have for exacting from me this concealment To act under the guidance of another and to wander in the dark ignorant whither my path tended and what effects might flow from my agency was a new and irksome situation
From these thoughts I was recalled by a message from Welbeck He gave me a folded paper which he requested me to carry to No—South Fourth Street Inquire said he for Mrs Wentworth in order merely to ascertain the house for you need not ask to see her merely give the letter to the servant and retire Excuse me for imposing this service upon you It is of too great moment to be trusted to a common messenger I usually perform it myself but am at present otherwise engaged
I took the letter and set out to deliver it This was a trifling circumstance yet my mind was full of reflections on the consequences that might flow from it I remembered the directions that were given but construed them in a manner different perhaps from Welbecks expectations or wishes He had charged me to leave the billet with the servant who happened to answer my summons but had he not said that the message was important insomuch that it could not be intrusted to common hands He had permitted rather than enjoined me to dispense with seeing the lady and this permission I conceived to be dictated merely by regard to my convenience It was incumbent on me therefore to take some pains to deliver the script into her own hands
I arrived at the house and knocked A female servant appeared Her mistress was upstairs she would tell her if I wished to see her and meanwhile invited me to enter the parlour I did so and the girl retired to inform her mistress that one waited for her I ought to mention that my departure from the directions which I had received was in some degree owing to an inquisitive temper I was eager after knowledge and was disposed to profit by every opportunity to survey the interior of dwellings and converse with their inhabitants
I scanned the walls the furniture the pictures Over the fireplace was a portrait in oil of a female She was elderly and matronlike Perhaps she was the mistress of this habitation and the person to whom I should immediately be introduced Was it a casual suggestion or was there an actual resemblance between the strokes of the pencil which executed this portrait and that of Clavering However that be the sight of this picture revived the memory of my friend and called up a fugitive suspicion that this was the production of his skill
I was busily revolving this idea when the lady herself entered It was the same whose portrait I had been examining She fixed scrutinizing and powerful eyes upon me She looked at the superscription of the letter which I presented and immediately resumed her examination of me I was somewhat abashed by the closeness of her observation and gave tokens of this state of mind which did not pass unobserved They seemed instantly to remind her that she behaved with too little regard to civility She recovered herself and began to peruse the letter Having done this her attention was once more fixed upon me She was evidently desirous of entering into some conversation but seemed at a loss in what manner to begin This situation was new to me and was productive of no small embarrassment I was preparing to take my leave when she spoke though not without considerable hesitation—
This letter is from Mr Welbeck—you are his friend—I presume—perhaps—a relation
I was conscious that I had no claim to either of these titles and that I was no more than his servant My pride would not allow me to acknowledge this and I merely said I live with him at present madam
I imagined that this answer did not perfectly satisfy her yet she received it with a certain air of acquiescence She was silent for a few minutes and then rising said Excuse me sir for a few minutes I will write a few words to Mr Welbeck So saying she withdrew
I returned to the contemplation of the picture From this however my attention was quickly diverted by a paper that lay on the mantel A single glance was sufficient to put my blood into motion I started and laid my hand upon the wellknown packet It was that which enclosed the portrait of Clavering
I unfolded and examined it with eagerness By what miracle came it hither It was found together with my bundle two nights before I had despaired of ever seeing it again and yet here was the same portrait enclosed in the selfsame paper I have forborne to dwell upon the regret amounting to grief with which I was affected in consequence of the loss of this precious relic My joy on thus speedily and unexpectedly regaining it is not easily described
For a time I did not reflect that to hold it thus in my hand was not sufficient to entitle me to repossession I must acquaint this lady with the history of this picture and convince her of my ownership But how was this to be done Was she connected in any way by friendship or by consanguinity with that unfortunate youth If she were some information as to his destiny would be anxiously sought I did not just then perceive any impropriety in imparting it If it came into her hands by accident still it will be necessary to relate the mode in which it was lost in order to prove my title to it
I now heard her descending footsteps and hastily replaced the picture on the mantel She entered and presenting me a letter desired me to deliver it to Mr Welbeck I had no pretext for deferring my departure but was unwilling to go without obtaining possession of the portrait An interval of silence and irresolution succeeded I cast significant glances at the spot where it lay and at length mustered up my strength of mind and pointing to the paper—Madam said I there is something which I recognise to be mine I know not how it came into your possession but so lately as the day before yesterday it was in mine I lost it by a strange accident and as I deem it of inestimable value I hope you will have no objection to restore it
During this speech the ladys countenance exhibited marks of the utmost perturbation Your picture she exclaimed you lost it How Where Did you know that person What has become of him
I knew him well said I That picture was executed by himself He gave it to me with his own hands and till the moment I unfortunately lost it it was my dear and perpetual companion
Good heaven she exclaimed with increasing vehemence where did you meet with him What has become of him Is he dead or alive
These appearances sufficiently showed me that Clavering and this lady were connected by some ties of tenderness I answered that he was dead that my mother and myself were his attendants and nurses and that this portrait was his legacy to me
This intelligence melted her into tears and it was some time before she recovered strength enough to resume the conversation She then inquired When and where was it that he died How did you lose this portrait It was found wrapped in some coarse clothes lying in a stall in the markethouse on Saturday evening Two negro women servants of one of my friends strolling through the market found it and brought it to their mistress who recognising the portrait sent it to me To whom did that bundle belong Was it yours
These questions reminded me of the painful predicament in which I now stood I had promised Welbeck to conceal from every one my former condition but to explain in what manner this bundle was lost and how my intercourse with Clavering had taken place was to violate this promise It was possible perhaps to escape the confession of the truth by equivocation Falsehoods were easily invented and might lead her far away from my true condition but I was wholly unused to equivocation Never yet had a lie polluted my lips I was not weak enough to be ashamed of my origin This lady had an interest in the fate of Clavering and might justly claim all the information which I was able to impart Yet to forget the compact which I had so lately made and an adherence to which might possibly be in the highest degree beneficial to me and to Welbeck I was willing to adhere to it provided falsehood could be avoided
These thoughts rendered me silent The pain of my embarrassment amounted almost to agony I felt the keenest regret at my own precipitation in claiming the picture Its value to me was altogether imaginary The affection which this lady had borne the original whatever was the source of that affection would prompt her to cherish the copy and however precious it was in my eyes I should cheerfully resign it to her
In the confusion of my thoughts an expedient suggested itself sufficiently inartificial and bold It is true madam what I have said I saw him breathe his last This is his only legacy If you wish it I willingly resign it but this is all that I can now disclose I am placed in circumstances which render it improper to say more
These words were uttered not very distinctly and the ladys vehemence hindered her from noticing them She again repeated her interrogations to which I returned the same answer
At first she expressed the utmost surprise at my conduct From this she descended to some degree of asperity She made rapid allusions to the history of Clavering He was the son of the gentleman who owned the house in which Welbeck resided He was the object of immeasurable fondness and indulgence He had sought permission to travel and this being refused by the absurd timidity of his parents he had twice been frustrated in attempting to embark for Europe clandestinely They ascribed his disappearance to a third and successful attempt of this kind and had exercised anxious and unwearied diligence in endeavouring to trace his footsteps All their efforts had failed One motive for their returning to Europe was the hope of discovering some traces of him as they entertained no doubt of his having crossed the ocean The vehemence of Mrs Wentworths curiosity as to those particulars of his life and death may be easily conceived My refusal only heightened this passion
Finding me refractory to all her efforts she at length dismissed me in anger
CHAPTER VIII
This extraordinary interview was now past Pleasure as well as pain attended my reflections on it I adhered to the promise I had improvidently given to Welbeck but had excited displeasure and perhaps suspicion in the lady She would find it hard to account for my silence She would probably impute it to perverseness or imagine it to flow from some incident connected with the death of Clavering calculated to give a new edge to her curiosity
It was plain that some connection subsisted between her and Welbeck Would she drop the subject at the point which it had now attained Would she cease to exert herself to extract from me the desired information or would she not rather make Welbeck a party in the cause and prejudice my new friend against me This was an evil proper by all lawful means to avoid I knew of no other expedient than to confess to him the truth with regard to Clavering and explain to him the dilemma in which my adherence to my promise had involved me
I found him on my return home and delivered him the letter with which I was charged At the sight of it surprise mingled with some uneasiness appeared in his looks What said he in a tone of disappointment you then saw the lady
I now remembered his directions to leave my message at the door and apologized for my neglecting them by telling my reasons His chagrin vanished but not without an apparent effort and he said that all was well the affair was of no moment
After a pause of preparation I entreated his attention to something which I had to relate I then detailed the history of Clavering and of my late embarrassments As I went on his countenance betokened increasing solicitude His emotion was particularly strong when I came to the interrogatories of Mrs Wentworth in relation to Clavering but this emotion gave way to profound surprise when I related the manner in which I had eluded her inquiries I concluded with observing that when I promised forbearance on the subject of my own adventures I had not foreseen any exigence which would make an adherence to my promise difficult or inconvenient that if his interest was promoted by my silence I was still willing to maintain it and requested his directions how to conduct myself on this occasion
He appeared to ponder deeply and with much perplexity on what I had said When he spoke there was hesitation in his manner and circuity in his expressions that proved him to have something in his thoughts which he knew not how to communicate He frequently paused but my answers and remarks occasionally given appeared to deter him from the revelation of his purpose Our discourse ended for the present by his desiring me to persist in my present plan I should suffer no inconveniences from it since it would be my own fault if an interview again took place between the lady and me meanwhile he should see her and effectually silence her inquiries
I ruminated not superficially or briefly on this dialogue By what means would he silence her inquiries He surely meant not to mislead her by fallacious representations Some inquietude now crept into my thoughts I began to form conjectures as to the nature of the scheme to which my suppression of the truth was to be thus made subservient It seemed as if I were walking in the dark and might rush into snares or drop into pits before I was aware of my danger Each moment accumulated my doubts and I cherished a secret foreboding that the event would prove my new situation to be far less fortunate than I had at first fondly believed The question now occurred with painful repetition who and what was Welbeck What was his relation to this foreign lady What was the service for which I was to be employed
I could not be contented without a solution of these mysteries Why should I not lay my soul open before my new friend Considering my situation would he regard my fears and my surmises as criminal I felt that they originated in laudable habits and views My peace of mind depended on the favourable verdict which conscience should pass on my proceedings I saw the emptiness of fame and luxury when put in the balance against the recompense of virtue Never would I purchase the blandishments of adulation and the glare of opulence at the price of my honesty
Amidst these reflections the dinnerhour arrived The lady and Welbeck were present A new train of sentiments now occupied my mind I regarded them both with inquisitive eyes I cannot well account for the revolution which had taken place in my mind Perhaps it was a proof of the capriciousness of my temper or it was merely the fruit of my profound ignorance of life and manners Whencesoever it arose certain it is that I contemplated the scene before me with altered eyes Its order and pomp was no longer the parent of tranquillity and awe My wild reveries of inheriting this splendour and appropriating the affections of this nymph I now regarded as lunatic hope and childish folly Education and nature had qualified me for a different scene This might be the mask of misery and the structure of vice
My companions as well as myself were silent during the meal The lady retired as soon as it was finished My inexplicable melancholy increased It did not pass unnoticed by Welbeck who inquired with an air of kindness into the cause of my visible dejection I am almost ashamed to relate to what extremes my folly transported me Instead of answering him I was weak enough to shed tears
This excited afresh his surprise and his sympathy He renewed his inquiries my heart was full but how to disburden it I knew not At length with some difficulty I expressed my wishes to leave his house and return into the country
What he asked had occurred to suggest this new plan What motive could incite me to bury myself in rustic obscurity How did I purpose to dispose of myself Had some new friend sprung up more able or more willing to benefit me than he had been
No I answered I have no relation who would own me or friend who would protect If I went into the country it would be to the toilsome occupations of a daylabourer but even that was better than my present situation
This opinion he observed must be newly formed What was there irksome or offensive in my present mode of life
That this man condescended to expostulate with me to dissuade me from my new plan and to enumerate the benefits which he was willing to confer penetrated my heart with gratitude I could not but acknowledge that leisure and literature copious and elegant accommodation were valuable for their own sake that all the delights of sensation and refinements of intelligence were comprised within my present sphere and would be nearly wanting in that to which I was going I felt temporary compunction for my folly and determined to adopt a different deportment I could not prevail upon myself to unfold the true cause of my dejection and permitted him therefore to ascribe it to a kind of homesickness to inexperience and to that ignorance which on being ushered into a new scene is oppressed with a sensation of forlornness He remarked that these chimeras would vanish before the influence of time and company and occupation On the next week he would furnish me with employment meanwhile he would introduce me into company where intelligence and vivacity would combine to dispel my glooms
As soon as we separated my disquietudes returned I contended with them in vain and finally resolved to abandon my present situation When and how this purpose was to be effected I knew not That was to be the theme of future deliberation
Evening having arrived Welbeck proposed to me to accompany me on a visit to one of his friends I cheerfully accepted the invitation and went with him to your friend Mr Wortleys A numerous party was assembled chiefly of the female sex I was introduced by Welbeck by the title of a young friend of his Notwithstanding my embarrassment I did not fail to attend to what passed on this occasion I remarked that the utmost deference was paid to my companion on whom his entrance into this company appeared to operate like magic His eyes sparkled his features expanded into a benign serenity and his wonted reserve gave place to a torrentlike and overflowing elocution
I marked this change in his deportment with the utmost astonishment So great was it that I could hardly persuade myself that it was the same person A mind thus susceptible of new impressions must be I conceived of a wonderful texture Nothing was further from my expectations than that this vivacity was mere dissimulation and would take its leave of him when he left the company yet this I found to be the case The door was no sooner closed after him than his accustomed solemnity returned He spake little and that little was delivered with emphatical and monosyllabic brevity
We returned home at a late hour and I immediately retired to my chamber not so much from the desire of repose as in order to enjoy and pursue my own reflections without interruption
The condition of my mind was considerably remote from happiness I was placed in a scene that furnished fuel to my curiosity This passion is a source of pleasure provided its gratification be practicable I had no reason in my present circumstances to despair of knowledge yet suspicion and anxiety beset me I thought upon the delay and toil which the removal of my ignorance would cost and reaped only pain and fear from the reflection
The air was remarkably sultry Lifted sashes and lofty ceilings were insufficient to attemper it The perturbation of my thoughts affected my body and the heat which oppressed me was aggravated by my restlessness almost into fever Some hours were thus painfully past when I recollected that the bath erected in the court below contained a sufficient antidote to the scorching influence of the atmosphere
I rose and descended the stairs softly that I might not alarm Welbeck and the lady who occupied the two rooms on the second floor I proceeded to the bath and filling the reservoir with water speedily dissipated the heat that incommoded me Of all species of sensual gratification that was the most delicious and I continued for a long time laving my limbs and moistening my hair In the midst of this amusement I noticed the approach of day and immediately saw the propriety of returning to my chamber I returned with the same caution which I had used in descending my feet were bare so that it was easy to proceed unattended by the smallest signal of my progress
I had reached the carpeted staircase and was slowly ascending when I heard within the chamber that was occupied by the lady a noise as of some one moving Though not conscious of having acted improperly yet I felt reluctance to be seen There was no reason to suppose that this sound was connected with the detection of me in this situation yet I acted as if this reason existed and made haste to pass the door and gain the second flight of steps
I was unable to accomplish my design when the chamber door slowly opened and Welbeck with a light in his hand came out I was abashed and disconcerted at this interview He started at seeing me but discovering in an instant who it was his face assumed an expression in which shame and anger were powerfully blended He seemed on the point of opening his mouth to rebuke me but suddenly checking himself he said in a tone of mildness How is this Whence come you
His emotion seemed to communicate itself with an electrical rapidity to my heart My tongue faltered while I made some answer I said I had been seeking relief from the heat of the weather in the bath He heard my explanation in silence and after a moments pause passed into his own room and shut himself in I hastened to my chamber
A different observer might have found in these circumstances no food for his suspicion or his wonder To me however they suggested vague and tumultuous ideas
As I strode across the room I repeated This woman is his daughter What proof have I of that He once asserted it and has frequently uttered allusions and hints from which no other inference could be drawn The chamber from which he came in an hour devoted to sleep was hers For what end could a visit like this be paid A parent may visit his child at all seasons without a crime On seeing me methought his features indicated more than surprise A keen interpreter would be apt to suspect a consciousness of wrong What if this woman be not his child How shall their relationship be ascertained
I was summoned at the customary hour to breakfast My mind was full of ideas connected with this incident I was not endowed with sufficient firmness to propose the cool and systematic observation of this mans deportment I felt as if the state of my mind could not but be evident to him and experienced in myself all the confusion which this discovery was calculated to produce in him I would have willingly excused myself from meeting him but that was impossible
At breakfast after the usual salutations nothing was said For a time I scarcely lifted my eyes from the table Stealing a glance at Welbeck I discovered in his features nothing but his wonted gravity He appeared occupied with thoughts that had no relation to last nights adventure This encouraged me and I gradually recovered my composure Their inattention to me allowed me occasionally to throw scrutinizing and comparing glances at the face of each
The relationship of parent and child is commonly discovered in the visage but the child may resemble either of its parents yet have no feature in common with both Here outlines surfaces and hues were in absolute contrariety That kindred subsisted between them was possible notwithstanding this dissimilitude but this circumstance contributed to envenom my suspicions
Breakfast being finished Welbeck cast an eye of invitation to the pianoforte The lady rose to comply with his request My eye chanced to be at that moment fixed on her In stepping to the instrument some motion or appearance awakened a thought in my mind which affected my feelings like the shock of an earthquake
I have too slight acquaintance with the history of the passions to truly explain the emotion which now throbbed in my veins I had been a stranger to what is called love From subsequent reflection I have contracted a suspicion that the sentiment with which I regarded this lady was not untinctured from this source and that hence arose the turbulence of my feelings on observing what I construed into marks of pregnancy The evidence afforded me was slight yet it exercised an absolute sway over my belief
It was well that this suspicion had not been sooner excited Now civility did not require my stay in the apartment and nothing but flight could conceal the state of my mind I hastened therefore to a distance and shrouded myself in the friendly secrecy of my own chamber
The constitution of my mind is doubtless singular and perverse yet that opinion perhaps is the fruit of my ignorance It may by no means be uncommon for men to fashion their conclusions in opposition to evidence and probability and so as to feed their malice and subvert their happiness Thus it was in an eminent degree in my case The simple fact was connected in my mind with a train of the most hateful consequences The depravity of Welbeck was inferred from it The charms of this angelic woman were tarnished and withered I had formerly surveyed her as a precious and perfect monument but now it was a scene of ruin and blast
This had been a source of sufficient anguish but this was not all I recollected that the claims of a parent had been urged Will you believe that these claims were now admitted and that they heightened the iniquity of Welbeck into the blackest and most stupendous of all crimes These ideas were necessarily transient Conclusions more conformable to appearances succeeded This lady might have been lately reduced to widowhood The recent loss of a beloved companion would sufficiently account for her dejection and make her present situation compatible with duty
By this new train of ideas I was somewhat comforted I saw the folly of precipitate inferences and the injustice of my atrocious imputations and acquired some degree of patience in my present state of uncertainty My heart was lightened of its wonted burden and I laboured to invent some harmless explication of the scene that I had witnessed the preceding night
At dinner Welbeck appeared as usual but not the lady I ascribed her absence to some casual indisposition and ventured to inquire into the state of her health My companion said she was well but that she had left the city for a month or two finding the heat of summer inconvenient where she was This was no unplausible reason for retirement A candid mind would have acquiesced in this representation and found in it nothing inconsistent with a supposition respecting the cause of appearances favourable to her character but otherwise was I affected The uneasiness which had flown for a moment returned and I sunk into gloomy silence
From this I was roused by my patron who requested me to deliver a billet which he put into my hand at the countinghouse of Mr Thetford and to bring him an answer This message was speedily performed I entered a large building by the riverside A spacious apartment presented itself well furnished with pipes and hogsheads In one corner was a smaller room in which a gentleman was busy at writing I advanced to the door of the room but was there met by a young person who received my paper and delivered it to him within I stood still at the door but was near enough to overhear what would pass between them
The letter was laid upon the desk and presently he that sat at it lifted his eyes and glanced at the superscription He scarcely spoke above a whisper but his words nevertheless were clearly distinguishable I did not call to mind the sound of his voice but his words called up a train of recollections
Lo said he carelessly this from the Nabob
An incident so slight as this was sufficient to open a spacious scene of meditation This little word half whispered in a thoughtless mood was a key to unlock an extensive cabinet of secrets Thetford was probably indifferent whether his exclamation were overheard Little did he think on the inferences which would be built upon it
The Nabob By this appellation had some one been denoted in the chamber dialogue of which I had been an unsuspected auditor The man who pretended poverty and yet gave proofs of inordinate wealth whom it was pardonable to defraud of thirty thousand dollars first because the loss of that sum would be trivial to one opulent as he and secondly because he was imagined to have acquired this opulence by other than honest methods Instead of forthwith returning home I wandered into the fields to indulge myself in the new thoughts which were produced by this occurrence
I entertained no doubt that the person alluded to was my patron No new light was thrown upon his character unless something were deducible from the charge vaguely made that his wealth was the fruit of illicit practices He was opulent and the sources of his wealth were unknown if not to the rest of the community at least to Thetford But here had a plot been laid The fortune of Thetfords brother was to rise from the success of artifices of which the credulity of Welbeck was to be the victim To detect and to counterwork this plot was obviously my duty My interference might now indeed be too late to be useful but this was at least to be ascertained by experiment
How should my intention be effected I had hitherto concealed from Welbeck my adventures at Thetfords house These it was now necessary to disclose and to mention the recent occurrence My deductions in consequence of my ignorance might be erroneous but of their truth his knowledge of his own affairs would enable him to judge It was possible that Thetford and he whose chamber conversation I had overheard were different persons I endeavoured in vain to ascertain their identity by a comparison of their voices The words lately heard my remembrance did not enable me certainly to pronounce to be uttered by the same organs
This uncertainty was of little moment It sufficed that Welbeck was designated by this appellation and that therefore he was proved to be the subject of some fraudulent proceeding The information that I possessed it was my duty to communicate as expeditiously as possible I was resolved to employ the first opportunity that offered for this end
My meditations had been ardently pursued and when I recalled my attention I found myself bewildered among fields and fences It was late before I extricated myself from unknown paths and reached home
I entered the parlour but Welbeck was not there A table with teaequipage for one person was set from which I inferred that Welbeck was engaged abroad This belief was confirmed by the report of the servant He could not inform me where his master was but merely that he should not take tea at home This incident was a source of vexation and impatience I knew not but that delay would be of the utmost moment to the safety of my friend Wholly unacquainted as I was with the nature of his contracts with Thetford I could not decide whether a single hour would not avail to obviate the evils that threatened him Had I known whither to trace his footsteps I should certainly have sought an immediate interview but as it was I was obliged to wait with what patience I could collect for his return to his own house
I waited hour after hour in vain The sun declined and the shades of evening descended but Welbeck was still at a distance
CHAPTER IX
Welbeck did not return though hour succeeded hour till the clock struck ten I inquired of the servants who informed me that their master was not accustomed to stay out so late I seated myself at a table in a parlour on which there stood a light and listened for the signal of his coming either by the sound of steps on the pavement without or by a peal from the bell The silence was uninterrupted and profound and each minute added to my sum of impatience and anxiety
To relieve myself from the heat of the weather which was aggravated by the condition of my thoughts as well as to beguile this tormenting interval it occurred to me to betake myself to the bath I left the candle where it stood and imagined that even in the bath I should hear the sound of the bell which would be rung upon his arrival at the door
No such signal occurred and after taking this refreshment I prepared to return to my post The parlour was still unoccupied but this was not all the candle I had left upon the table was gone This was an inexplicable circumstance On my promise to wait for their master the servants had retired to bed No signal of any ones entrance had been given The street door was locked and the key hung at its customary place upon the wall What was I to think It was obvious to suppose that the candle had been removed by a domestic but their footsteps could not be traced and I was not sufficiently acquainted with the house to find the way especially immersed in darkness to their chamber One measure however it was evidently proper to take which was to supply myself anew with a light This was instantly performed but what was next to be done
I was weary of the perplexities in which I was embroiled I saw no avenue to escape from them but that which led me to the bosom of nature and to my ancient occupations For a moment I was tempted to resume my rustic garb and on that very hour to desert this habitation One thing only detained me the desire to apprize my patron of the treachery of Thetford For this end I was anxious to obtain an interview but now I reflected that this information could by other means be imparted Was it not sufficient to write him briefly these particulars and leave him to profit by the knowledge Thus I might likewise acquaint him with my motives for thus abruptly and unseasonably deserting his service
To the execution of this scheme pen and paper were necessary The business of writing was performed in the chamber on the third story I had been hitherto denied access to this room In it was a show of papers and books Here it was that the task for which I had been retained was to be performed but I was to enter it and leave it only in company with Welbeck For what reasons I asked was this procedure to be adopted
The influence of prohibitions and an appearance of disguise in awakening curiosity is well known My mind fastened upon the idea of this room with an unusual degree of intenseness I had seen it but for a moment Many of Welbecks hours were spent in it It was not to be inferred that they were consumed in idleness what then was the nature of his employment over which a veil of such impenetrable secrecy was cast
Will you wonder that the design of entering this recess was insensibly formed Possibly it was locked but its accessibleness was likewise possible I meant not the commission of any crime My principal purpose was to procure the implements of writing which were elsewhere not to be found I should neither unseal papers nor open drawers I would merely take a survey of the volumes and attend to the objects that spontaneously presented themselves to my view In this there surely was nothing criminal or blameworthy Meanwhile I was not unmindful of the sudden disappearance of the candle This incident filled my bosom with the inquietudes of fear and the perturbations of wonder
Once more I paused to catch any sound that might arise from without All was still I seized the candle and prepared to mount the stairs I had not reached the first landing when I called to mind my midnight meeting with Welbeck at the door of his daughters chamber The chamber was now desolate perhaps it was accessible if so no injury was done by entering it My curiosity was strong but it pictured to itself no precise object Three steps would bear me to the door The trial whether it was fastened might be made in a moment and I readily imagined that something might be found within to reward the trouble of examination The door yielded to my hand and I entered
No remarkable object was discoverable The apartment was supplied with the usual furniture I bent my steps towards a table over which a mirror was suspended My glances which roved with swiftness from one object to another shortly lighted on a miniature portrait that hung near I scrutinized it with eagerness It was impossible to overlook its resemblance to my own visage This was so great that for a moment I imagined myself to have been the original from which it had been drawn This flattering conception yielded place to a belief merely of similitude between me and the genuine original
The thoughts which this opinion was fitted to produce were suspended by a new object A small volume that had apparently been much used lay upon the toilet I opened it and found it to contain some of the Dramas of Apostolo Zeno I turned over the leaves a written paper saluted my sight A single glance informed me that it was English For the present I was insensible to all motives that would command me to forbear I seized the paper with an intention to peruse it
At that moment a stunning report was heard It was loud enough to shake the walls of the apartment and abrupt enough to throw me into tremors I dropped the book and yielded for a moment to confusion and surprise From what quarter it came I was unable accurately to determine but there could be no doubt from its loudness that it was near and even in the house It was no less manifest that the sound arose from the discharge of a pistol Some hand must have drawn the trigger I recollected the disappearance of the candle from the room below Instantly a supposition darted into my mind which made my hair rise and my teeth chatter
This I said is the deed of Welbeck He entered while I was absent from the room he hied to his chamber and prompted by some unknown instigation has inflicted on himself death This idea had a tendency to palsy my limbs and my thoughts Some time passed in painful and tumultuous fluctuation My aversion to this catastrophe rather than a belief of being by that means able to prevent or repair the evil induced me to attempt to enter his chamber It was possible that my conjectures were erroneous
The door of his room was locked I knocked I demanded entrance in a low voice I put my eye and my ear to the keyhole and the crevices nothing could be heard or seen It was unavoidable to conclude that no one was within yet the effluvia of gunpowder was perceptible
Perhaps the room above had been the scene of this catastrophe I ascended the second flight of stairs I approached the door No sound could be caught by my most vigilant attention I put out the light that I carried and was then able to perceive that there was light within the room I scarcely knew how to act For some minutes I paused at the door I spoke and requested permission to enter My words were succeeded by a deathlike stillness At length I ventured softly to withdraw the bolt to open and to advance within the room Nothing could exceed the horror of my expectation yet I was startled by the scene that I beheld
In a chair whose back was placed against the front wall sat Welbeck My entrance alarmed him not nor roused him from the stupor into which he was plunged He rested his hands upon his knees and his eyes were riveted to something that lay at the distance of a few feet before him on the floor A second glance was sufficient to inform me of what nature this object was It was the body of a man bleeding ghastly and still exhibiting the marks of convulsion and agony
I shall omit to describe the shock which a spectacle like this communicated to my unpractised senses I was nearly as panicstruck and powerless as Welbeck himself I gazed without power of speech at one time at Welbeck then I fixed terrified eyes on the distorted features of the dead At length Welbeck recovering from his reverie looked up as if to see who it was that had entered No surprise no alarm was betrayed by him on seeing me He manifested no desire or intention to interrupt the fearful silence
My thoughts wandered in confusion and terror The first impulse was to fly from the scene but I could not be long insensible to the exigences of the moment I saw that affairs must not be suffered to remain in their present situation The insensibility or despair of Welbeck required consolation and succour How to communicate my thoughts or offer my assistance I knew not What led to this murderous catastrophe who it was whose breathless corpse was before me what concern Welbeck had in producing his death were as yet unknown
At length he rose from his seat and strode at first with faltering and then with more steadfast steps across the floor This motion seemed to put him in possession of himself He seemed now for the first time to recognise my presence He turned to me and said in a tone of severity—
How now What brings you here
This rebuke was unexpected I stammered out in reply that the report of the pistol had alarmed me and that I came to discover the cause of it
He noticed not my answer but resumed his perturbed steps and his anxious but abstracted looks Suddenly he checked himself and glancing a furious eye at the corpse he muttered Yes the die is cast This worthless and miserable scene shall last no longer I will at once get rid of life and all its humiliations
Here succeeded a new pause The course of his thoughts seemed now to become once more tranquil Sadness rather than fury overspread his features and his accent when he spoke to me was not faltering but solemn
Mervyn said he you comprehend not this scene Your youth and inexperience make you a stranger to a deceitful and flagitious world You know me not It is time that this ignorance should vanish The knowledge of me and of my actions may be of use to you It may teach you to avoid the shoals on which my virtue and my peace have been wrecked but to the rest of mankind it can be of no use The ruin of my fame is perhaps irretrievable but the height of my iniquity need not be known I perceive in you a rectitude and firmness worthy to be trusted promise me therefore that not a syllable of what I tell you shall ever pass your lips
I had lately experienced the inconvenience of a promise but I was now confused embarrassed ardently inquisitive as to the nature of this scene and unapprized of the motives that might afterwards occur persuading or compelling me to disclosure The promise which he exacted was given He resumed—
I have detained you in my service partly for your own benefit but chiefly for mine I intended to inflict upon you injury and to do you good Neither of these ends can I now accomplish unless the lessons which my example may inculcate shall inspire you with fortitude and arm you with caution
What it was that made me thus I know not I am not destitute of understanding My thirst of knowledge though irregular is ardent I can talk and can feel as virtue and justice prescribe yet the tenor of my actions has been uniform One tissue of iniquity and folly has been my life while my thoughts have been familiar with enlightened and disinterested principles Scorn and detestation I have heaped upon myself Yesterday is remembered with remorse Tomorrow is contemplated with anguish and fear yet every day is productive of the same crimes and of the same follies
I was left by the insolvency of my father a trader of Liverpool without any means of support but such as labour should afford me Whatever could generate pride and the love of independence was my portion Whatever can incite to diligence was the growth of my condition yet my indolence was a cureless disease and there were no arts too sordid for me to practise
I was content to live on the bounty of a kinsman His family was numerous and his revenue small He forbore to upbraid me or even to insinuate the propriety of providing for myself but he empowered me to pursue any liberal or mechanical profession which might suit my taste I was insensible to every generous motive I laboured to forget my dependent and disgraceful condition because the remembrance was a source of anguish without being able to inspire me with a steady resolution to change it
I contracted an acquaintance with a woman who was unchaste perverse and malignant Me however she found it no difficult task to deceive My uncle remonstrated against the union He took infinite pains to unveil my error and to convince me that wedlock was improper for one destitute as I was of the means of support even if the object of my choice were personally unexceptionable
His representations were listened to with anger That he thwarted my will in this respect even by affectionate expostulation cancelled all that debt of gratitude which I owed to him I rewarded him for all his kindness by invective and disdain and hastened to complete my illomened marriage I had deceived the womans father by assertions of possessing secret resources To gratify my passion I descended to dissimulation and falsehood He admitted me into his family as the husband of his child but the character of my wife and the fallacy of my assertions were quickly discovered He denied me accommodation under his roof and I was turned forth to the world to endure the penalty of my rashness and my indolence
Temptation would have moulded me into any villanous shape My virtuous theories and comprehensive erudition would not have saved me from the basest of crimes Luckily for me I was for the present exempted from temptation I had formed an acquaintance with a young American captain On being partially informed of my situation he invited me to embark with him for his own country My passage was gratuitous I arrived in a short time at Charleston which was the place of his abode
He introduced me to his family every member of which was like himself imbued with affection and benevolence I was treated like their son and brother I was hospitably entertained until I should be able to select some path of lucrative industry Such was my incurable depravity that I made no haste to select my pursuit An interval of inoccupation succeeded which I applied to the worst purposes
My friend had a sister who was married but during the absence of her husband resided with her family Hence originated our acquaintance The purest of human hearts and the most vigorous understanding were hers She idolized her husband who well deserved to be the object of her adoration Her affection for him and her general principles appeared to be confirmed beyond the power to be shaken I sought her intercourse without illicit views I delighted in the effusions of her candour and the flashes of her intelligence I conformed by a kind of instinctive hypocrisy to her views I spoke and felt from the influence of immediate and momentary conviction She imagined she had found in me a friend worthy to partake in all her sympathies and forward all her wishes We were mutually deceived She was the victim of selfdelusion but I must charge myself with practising deceit both upon myself and her
I reflect with astonishment and horror on the steps which led to her degradation and to my calamity In the high career of passion all consequences were overlooked She was the dupe of the most audacious sophistry and the grossest delusion I was the slave of sensual impulses and voluntary blindness The effect may be easily conceived Not till symptoms of pregnancy began to appear were our eyes opened to the ruin which impended over us
Then I began to revolve the consequences which the mist of passion had hitherto concealed I was tormented by the pangs of remorse and pursued by the phantom of ingratitude To complete my despair this unfortunate lady was apprized of my marriage with another woman a circumstance which I had anxiously concealed from her She fled from her fathers house at a time when her husband and brother were hourly expected What became of her I knew not She left behind her a letter to her father in which the melancholy truth was told
Shame and remorse had no power over my life To elude the storm of invective and upbraiding to quiet the uproar of my mind I did not betake myself to voluntary death My pusillanimity still clung to this wretched existence I abruptly retired from the scene and repairing to the port embarked in the first vessel which appeared The ship chanced to belong to Wilmington in Delaware and here I sought out an obscure and cheap abode
I possessed no means of subsistence I was unknown to my neighbours and desired to remain unknown I was unqualified for manual labour by all the habits of my life but there was no choice between penury and diligence—between honest labour and criminal inactivity I mused incessantly on the forlornness of my condition Hour after hour passed and the horrors of want began to encompass me I sought with eagerness for an avenue by which I might escape from it The perverseness of my nature led me on from one guilty thought to another I took refuge in my customary sophistries and reconciled myself at length to a scheme of—forgery
CHAPTER X
Having ascertained my purpose it was requisite to search out the means by which I might effect it These were not clearly or readily suggested The more I contemplated my project the more numerous and arduous its difficulties appeared I had no associates in my undertaking A due regard to my safety and the unextinguished sense of honour deterred me from seeking auxiliaries and coagents The esteem of mankind was the spring of all my activity the parent of all my virtue and all my vice To preserve this it was necessary that my guilty projects should have neither witness nor partaker
I quickly discovered that to execute this scheme demanded time application and money none of which my present situation would permit me to devote to it At first it appeared that an attainable degree of skill and circumspection would enable me to arrive by means of counterfeit bills to the pinnacle of affluence and honour My error was detected by a closer scrutiny and I finally saw nothing in this path but enormous perils and insurmountable impediments
Yet what alternative was offered me To maintain myself by the labour of my hands to perform any toilsome or prescribed task was incompatible with my nature My habits debarred me from country occupations My pride regarded as vile and ignominious drudgery any employment which the town could afford Meanwhile my wants were as urgent as ever and my funds were exhausted
There are few perhaps whose external situation resembled mine who would have found in it any thing but incitements to industry and invention A thousand methods of subsistence honest but laborious were at my command but to these I entertained an irreconcilable aversion Ease and the respect attendant upon opulence I was willing to purchase at the price of everwakeful suspicion and eternal remorse but even at this price the purchase was impossible
The desperateness of my condition became hourly more apparent The further I extended my view the darker grew the clouds which hung over futurity Anguish and infamy appeared to be the inseparable conditions of my existence There was one mode of evading the evils that impended To free myself from selfupbraiding and to shun the persecutions of my fortune was possible only by shaking off life itself
One evening as I traversed the bank of the creek these dismal meditations were uncommonly intense They at length terminated in a resolution to throw myself into the stream The first impulse was to rush instantly to my death but the remembrance of papers lying at my lodgings which might unfold more than I desired to the curiosity of survivors induced me to postpone this catastrophe till the next morning
My purpose being formed I found my heart lightened of its usual weight By you it will be thought strange but it is nevertheless true that I derived from this new prospect not only tranquillity but cheerfulness I hastened home As soon as I entered my landlord informed me that a person had been searching for me in my absence This was an unexampled incident and foreboded me no good I was strongly persuaded that my visitant had been led hither not by friendly but hostile purposes This persuasion was confirmed by the description of the strangers guise and demeanour given by my landlord My fears instantly recognised the image of Watson the man by whom I had been so eminently benefited and whose kindness I had compensated by the ruin of his sister and the confusion of his family
An interview with this man was less to be endured than to look upon the face of an avenging deity I was determined to avoid this interview and for this end to execute my fatal purpose within the hour My papers were collected with a tremulous hand and consigned to the flames I then bade my landlord inform all visitants that I should not return till the next day and once more hastened towards the river
My way led past the inn where one of the stages from Baltimore was accustomed to stop I was not unaware that Watson had possibly been brought in the coach which had recently arrived and which now stood before the door of the inn The danger of my being descried or encountered by him as I passed did not fail to occur This was to be eluded by deviating from the main street
Scarcely had I turned a corner for this purpose when I was accosted by a young man whom I knew to be an inhabitant of the town but with whom I had hitherto had no intercourse but what consisted in a transient salutation He apologized for the liberty of addressing me and at the same time inquired if I understood the French language
Being answered in the affirmative he proceeded to tell me that in the stage just arrived had come a passenger a youth who appeared to be French who was wholly unacquainted with our language and who had been seized with a violent disease
My informant had felt compassion for the forlorn condition of the stranger and had just been seeking me at my lodgings in hope that my knowledge of French would enable me to converse with the sick man and obtain from him a knowledge of his situation and views
The apprehensions I had precipitately formed were thus removed and I readily consented to perform this service The youth was indeed in a deplorable condition Besides the pains of his disease he was overpowered by dejection The innkeeper was extremely anxious for the removal of his guest He was by no means willing to sustain the trouble and expense of a sick or a dying man for which it was scarcely probable that he should ever be reimbursed The traveller had no baggage and his dress betokened the pressure of many wants
My compassion for this stranger was powerfully awakened I was in possession of a suitable apartment for which I had no power to pay the rent that was accruing but my inability in this respect was unknown and I might enjoy my lodgings unmolested for some weeks The fate of this youth would be speedily decided and I should be left at liberty to execute my first intentions before my embarrassments should be visibly increased
After a moments pause I conducted the stranger to my home placed him in my own bed and became his nurse His malady was such as is known in the tropical islands by the name of the yellow or malignant fever and the physician who was called speedily pronounced his case desperate
It was my duty to warn him of the death that was hastening and to promise the fulfilment of any of his wishes not inconsistent with my present situation He received my intelligence with fortitude and appeared anxious to communicate some information respecting his own state His pangs and his weakness scarcely allowed him to be intelligible From his feeble efforts and broken narrative I collected thus much concerning his family and fortune
His fathers name was Vincentio Lodi From a merchant at Leghorn he had changed himself into a planter in the island of Guadaloupe His son had been sent at an early age for the benefits of education to Europe The young Vincentio was at length informed by his father that being weary of his present mode of existence he had determined to sell his property and transport himself to the United States The son was directed to hasten home that he might embark with his father on this voyage
The summons was cheerfully obeyed The youth on his arrival at the island found preparation making for the funeral of his father It appeared that the elder Lodi had flattered one of his slaves with the prospect of his freedom but had nevertheless included this slave in the sale that he had made of his estate Actuated by revenge the slave assassinated Lodi in the open street and resigned himself without a struggle to the punishment which the law had provided for such a deed
The property had been recently transferred and the price was now presented to young Vincentio by the purchaser He was by no means inclined to adopt his fathers project and was impatient to return with his inheritance to France Before this could be done the conduct of his father had rendered a voyage to the Continent indispensable
Lodi had a daughter whom a few weeks previous to his death he had intrusted to an American captain for whom he had contracted a friendship The vessel was bound to Philadelphia but the conduct she was to pursue and the abode she was to select on her arrival were known only to the father whose untimely death involved the son in considerable uncertainty with regard to his sisters fate His anxiety on this account induced him to seize the first conveyance that offered In a short time he landed at Baltimore
As soon as he recovered from the fatigues of his voyage he prepared to go to Philadelphia Thither his baggage was immediately sent under the protection of a passenger and countryman His money consisted in Portuguese gold which in pursuance of advice he had changed into banknotes He besought me in pathetic terms to search out his sister whose youth and poverty and ignorance of the language and manners of the country might expose her to innumerable hardships At the same time he put a pocketbook and small volume into my hand indicating by his countenance and gestures his desire that I would deliver them to his sister
His obsequies being decently performed I had leisure to reflect upon the change in my condition which this incident had produced In the pocketbook were found bills to the amount of twenty thousand dollars The volume proved to be a manuscript written by the elder Lodi in Italian and contained memoirs of the ducal house of Visconti from whom the writer believed himself to have lineally descended
Thus had I arrived by an avenue so much beyond my foresight at the possession of wealth The evil which impelled me to the brink of suicide and which was the source though not of all yet of the larger portion of my anguish was now removed What claims to honour or to ease were consequent on riches were by an extraordinary fortune now conferred upon me
Such for a time were my newborn but transitory raptures I forgot that this money was not mine That it had been received under every sanction of fidelity for anothers use To retain it was equivalent to robbery The sister of the deceased was the rightful claimant it was my duty to search her out and perform my tacit but sacred obligations by putting the whole into her possession
This conclusion was too adverse to my wishes not to be strenuously combated I asked what it was that gave man the power of ascertaining the successor to his property During his life he might transfer the actual possession but if vacant at his death he into whose hands accident should cast it was the genuine proprietor It is true that the law had sometimes otherwise decreed but in law there was no validity further than it was able by investigation and punishment to enforce its decrees but would the law extort this money from me
It was rather by gesture than by words that the will of Lodi was imparted It was the topic of remote inferences and vague conjecture rather than of explicit and unerring declarations Besides if the lady were found would not prudence dictate the reservation of her fortune to be administered by me for her benefit Of this her age and education had disqualified herself It was sufficient for the maintenance of both She would regard me as her benefactor and protector By supplying all her wants and watching over her safety without apprizing her of the means by which I shall be enabled to do this I shall lay irresistible claims to her love and her gratitude
Such were the sophistries by which reason was seduced and my integrity annihilated I hastened away from my present abode I easily traced the baggage of the deceased to an inn and gained possession of it It contained nothing but clothes and books I then instituted the most diligent search after the young lady For a time my exertions were fruitless
Meanwhile the possessor of this house thought proper to embark with his family for Europe The sum which he demanded for his furniture though enormous was precipitately paid by me His servants were continued in their former stations and in the day at which he relinquished the mansion I entered on possession
There was no difficulty in persuading the world that Welbeck was a personage of opulence and rank My birth and previous adventures it was proper to conceal The facility with which mankind are misled in their estimate of characters their proneness to multiply inferences and conjectures will not be readily conceived by one destitute of my experience My sudden appearance on the stage my stately reserve my splendid habitation and my circumspect deportment were sufficient to entitle me to homage The artifices that were used to unveil the truth and the guesses that were current respecting me were adapted to gratify my ruling passion
I did not remit my diligence to discover the retreat of Mademoiselle Lodi I found her at length in the family of a kinsman of the captain under whose care she had come to America Her situation was irksome and perilous She had already experienced the evils of being protectorless and indigent and my seasonable interference snatched her from impending and less supportable ills
I could safely unfold all that I knew of her brothers history except the legacy which he had left I ascribed the diligence with which I had sought her to his deathbed injunctions and prevailed upon her to accept from me the treatment which she would have received from her brother if he had continued to live and if his power to benefit had been equal to my own
Though less can be said in praise of the understanding than of the sensibilities of this woman she is one whom no one could refrain from loving though placed in situations far less favourable to the generation of that sentiment than mine In habits of domestic and incessant intercourse in the perpetual contemplation of features animated by boundless gratitude and ineffable sympathies it could not be expected that either she or I should escape enchantment
The poison was too sweet not to be swallowed with avidity by me Too late I remembered that I was already enslaved by inextricable obligations It was easy to have hidden this impediment from the eyes of my companion but here my integrity refused to yield I can indeed lay claim to little merit on account of this forbearance If there had been no alternative between deceit and the frustration of my hopes I should doubtless have dissembled the truth with as little scruple on this as on a different occasion but I could not be blind to the weakness of her with whom I had to contend
CHAPTER XI
Meanwhile large deductions had been made from my stock of money and the remnant would be speedily consumed by my present mode of life My expenses far exceeded my previous expectations In no long time I should be reduced to my ancient poverty which the luxurious existence that I now enjoyed and the regard due to my beloved and helpless companion would render more irksome than ever Some scheme to rescue me from this fate was indispensable but my aversion to labour to any pursuit the end of which was merely gain and which would require application and attention continued undiminished
I was plunged anew into dejection and perplexity From this I was somewhat relieved by a plan suggested by Mr Thetford I thought I had experience of his knowledge and integrity and the scheme that he proposed seemed liable to no possibility of miscarriage A ship was to be purchased supplied with a suitable cargo and despatched to a port in the West Indies Loss from storms and enemies was to be precluded by insurance Every hazard was to be enumerated and the ship and cargo valued at the highest rate Should the voyage be safely performed the profits would be double the original expense Should the ship be taken or wrecked the insurers would have bound themselves to make ample speedy and certain indemnification Thetfords brother a wary and experienced trader was to be the supercargo
All my money was laid out upon this scheme Scarcely enough was reserved to supply domestic and personal wants Large debts were likewise incurred Our caution had as we conceived annihilated every chance of failure Too much could not be expended on a project so infallible and the vessel amply fitted and freighted departed on her voyage
An interval not devoid of suspense and anxiety succeeded My mercantile inexperience made me distrust the clearness of my own discernment and I could not but remember that my utter and irretrievable destruction was connected with the failure of my scheme Time added to my distrust and apprehensions The time at which tidings of the ship were to be expected elapsed without affording any information of her destiny My anxieties however were to be carefully hidden from the world I had taught mankind to believe that this project had been adopted more for amusement than gain and the debts which I had contracted seemed to arise from willingness to adhere to established maxims more than from the pressure of necessity
Month succeeded month and intelligence was still withheld The notes which I had given for onethird of the cargo and for the premium of insurance would shortly become due For the payment of the former and the cancelling of the latter I had relied upon the expeditious return or the demonstrated loss of the vessel Neither of these events had taken place
My cares were augmented from another quarter My companions situation now appeared to be such as if our intercourse had been sanctified by wedlock would have been regarded with delight As it was no symptoms were equally to be deplored Consequences as long as they were involved in uncertainty were extenuated or overlooked but now when they became apparent and inevitable were fertile of distress and upbraiding
Indefinable fears and a desire to monopolize all the meditations and affections of this being had induced me to perpetuate her ignorance of any but her native language and debar her from all intercourse with the world My friends were of course inquisitive respecting her character adventures and particularly her relation to me The consciousness how much the truth redounded to my dishonour made me solicitous to lead conjecture astray For this purpose I did not discountenance the conclusion that was adopted by some—that she was my daughter I reflected that all dangerous surmises would be effectually precluded by this belief
These precautions afforded me some consolation in my present difficulties It was requisite to conceal the ladys condition from the world If this should be ineffectual it would not be difficult to divert suspicion from my person The secrecy that I had practised would be justified in the apprehension of those to whom the personal condition of Clemenza should be disclosed by the feelings of a father
Meanwhile it was an obvious expedient to remove the unhappy lady to a distance from impertinent observers A rural retreat lonely and sequestered was easily procured and hither she consented to repair This arrangement being concerted I had leisure to reflect upon the evils which every hour brought nearer and which threatened to exterminate me
My inquietudes forbade me to sleep and I was accustomed to rise before day and seek some respite in the fields Returning from one of these unseasonable rambles I chanced to meet you Your resemblance to the deceased Lodi in person and visage is remarkable When you first met my eye this similitude startled me Your subsequent appeal to my compassion was clothed in such terms as formed a powerful contrast with your dress and prepossessed me greatly in favour of your education and capacity
In my present hopeless condition every incident however trivial was attentively considered with a view to extract from it some means of escaping from my difficulties My love for the Italian girl in spite of all my efforts to keep it alive had begun to languish Marriage was impossible and had now in some degree ceased to be desirable We are apt to judge of others by ourselves The passion I now found myself disposed to ascribe chiefly to fortuitous circumstances to the impulse of gratitude and the exclusion of competitors and believed that your resemblance to her brother your age and personal accomplishments might after a certain time and in consequence of suitable contrivances on my part give a new direction to her feelings To gain your concurrence I relied upon your simplicity your gratitude and your susceptibility to the charms of this bewitching creature
I contemplated likewise another end Mrs Wentworth is rich A youth who was once her favourite and designed to inherit her fortunes has disappeared for some years from the scene His death is most probable but of that there is no satisfactory information The life of this person whose name is Clavering is an obstacle to some designs which had occurred to me in relation to this woman My purposes were crude and scarcely formed I need not swell the catalogue of my errors by expatiating upon them Suffice it to say that the peculiar circumstances of your introduction to me led me to reflections on the use that might be made of your agency in procuring this ladys acquiescence in my schemes You were to be ultimately persuaded to confirm her in the belief that her nephew was dead To this consummation it was indispensable to lead you by slow degrees and circuitous paths Meanwhile a profound silence with regard to your genuine history was to be observed and to this forbearance your consent was obtained with more readiness than I expected
There was an additional motive for the treatment you received from me My personal projects and cares had hitherto prevented me from reading Lodis manuscript a slight inspection however was sufficient to prove that the work was profound and eloquent My ambition has panted with equal avidity after the reputation of literature and opulence To claim the authorship of this work was too harmless and specious a stratagem not to be readily suggested I meant to translate it into English and to enlarge it by enterprising incidents of my own invention My scruples to assume the merit of the original composer might thus be removed For this end your assistance as an amanuensis would be necessary
You will perceive that all these projects depended on the seasonable arrival of intelligence from —— The delay of another week would seal my destruction The silence might arise from the foundering of the ship and the destruction of all on board In this case the insurance was not forfeited but payment could not be obtained within a year Meanwhile the premium and other debts must be immediately discharged and this was beyond my power Meanwhile I was to live in a manner that would not belie my pretensions but my coffers were empty
I cannot adequately paint the anxieties with which I have been haunted Each hour has added to the burden of my existence till in consequence of the events of this day it has become altogether insupportable Some hours ago I was summoned by Thetford to his house The messenger informed me that tidings had been received of my ship In answer to my eager interrogations he could give no other information than that she had been captured by the British He was unable to relate particulars
News of her safe return would indeed have been far more acceptable but even this information was a source of infinite congratulation It precluded the demand of my insurers The payment of other debts might be postponed for a month and my situation be the same as before the adoption of this successless scheme Hope and joy were reinstated in my bosom and I hasted to Thetfords countinghouse
He received me with an air of gloomy dissatisfaction I accounted for his sadness by supposing him averse to communicate information which was less favourable than our wishes had dictated He confirmed with visible reluctance the news of her capture He had just received letters from his brother acquainting him with all particulars and containing the official documents of this transaction
This had no tendency to damp my satisfaction and I proceeded to peruse with eagerness the papers which he put into my hand I had not proceeded far when my joyous hopes vanished Two French mulattoes had after much solicitation and the most solemn promises to carry with them no articles which the laws of war decree to be contraband obtained a passage in the vessel She was speedily encountered by a privateer by whom every receptacle was ransacked In a chest belonging to the Frenchmen and which they had affirmed to contain nothing but their clothes were found two sabres and other accoutrements of an officer of cavalry Under this pretence the vessel was captured and condemned and this was a cause of forfeiture which had not been provided against in the contract of insurance
By this untoward event my hopes were irreparably blasted The utmost efforts were demanded to conceal my thoughts from my companion The anguish that preyed upon my heart was endeavoured to be masked by looks of indifference I pretended to have been previously informed by the messenger not only of the capture but of the cause that led to it and forbore to expatiate upon my loss or to execrate the authors of my disappointment My mind however was the theatre of discord and agony and I waited with impatience for an opportunity to leave him
For want of other topics I asked by whom this information had been brought He answered that the bearer was Captain Amos Watson whose vessel had been forfeited at the same time under a different pretence He added that my name being mentioned accidentally to Watson the latter had betrayed marks of great surprise and been very earnest in his inquiries respecting my situation Having obtained what knowledge Thetford was able to communicate the captain had departed avowing a former acquaintance with me and declaring his intention of paying me a visit
These words operated on my frame like lightning All within me was tumult and terror and I rushed precipitately out of the house I went forward with unequal steps and at random Some instinct led me into the fields and I was not apprized of the direction of my steps till looking up I found myself upon the shore of Schuylkill
Thus was I a second time overborne by hopeless and incurable evils An interval of motley feelings of specious artifice and contemptible imposture had elapsed since my meeting with the stranger at Wilmington Then my forlorn state had led me to the brink of suicide A brief and feverish respite had been afforded me but now was I transported to the verge of the same abyss
Amos Watson was the brother of the angel whom I had degraded and destroyed What but fiery indignation and unappeasable vengeance could lead him into my presence With what heart could I listen to his invectives How could I endure to look upon the face of one whom I had loaded with such atrocious and intolerable injuries
I was acquainted with his loftiness of mind his detestation of injustice and the whirlwind passions that ingratitude and villany like mine were qualified to awaken in his bosom I dreaded not his violence The death that he might be prompted to inflict was no object of aversion It was poverty and disgrace the detection of my crimes the looks and voice of malediction and upbraiding from which my cowardice shrunk
Why should I live I must vanish from that stage which I had lately trodden My flight must be instant and precipitate To be a fugitive from exasperated creditors and from the industrious revenge of Watson was an easy undertaking but whither could I fly where I should not be pursued by the phantoms of remorse by the dread of hourly detection by the necessities of hunger and thirst In what scene should I be exempt from servitude and drudgery Was my existence embellished with enjoyments that would justify my holding it encumbered with hardships and immersed in obscurity
There was no room for hesitation To rush into the stream before me and put an end at once to my life and the miseries inseparably linked with it was the only proceeding which fate had left to my choice My muscles were already exerted for this end when the helpless condition of Clemenza was remembered What provision could I make against the evils that threatened her Should I leave her utterly forlorn and friendless Mrs Wentworths temper was forgiving and compassionate Adversity had taught her to participate and her wealth enabled her to relieve distress Who was there by whom such powerful claims to succour and protection could be urged as by this desolate girl Might I not state her situation in a letter to this lady and urge irresistible pleas for the extension of her kindness to this object
These thoughts made me suspend my steps I determined to seek my habitation once more and having written and deposited this letter to return to the execution of my fatal purpose I had scarcely reached my own door when some one approached along the pavement The form at first was undistinguishable but by coming at length within the illumination of a lamp it was perfectly recognised
To avoid this detested interview was now impossible Watson approached and accosted me In this conflict of tumultuous feelings I was still able to maintain an air of intrepidity His demeanour was that of a man who struggles with his rage His accents were hurried and scarcely articulate I have ten words to say to you said he lead into the house and to some private room My business with you will be despatched in a breath
I made him no answer but led the way into my house and to my study On entering this room I put the light upon the table and turning to my visitant prepared silently to hear what he had to unfold He struck his clenched hand against the table with violence His motion was of that tempestuous kind as to overwhelm the power of utterance and found it easier to vent itself in gesticulations than in words At length he exclaimed—
It is well Now has the hour so long and so impatiently demanded by my vengeance arrived Welbeck Would that my first words could strike thee dead They will so if thou hast any title to the name of man
My sister is dead dead of anguish and a broken heart Remote from her friends in a hovel the abode of indigence and misery
Her husband is no more He returned after a long absence a tedious navigation and vicissitudes of hardships He flew to the bosom of his love of his wife She was gone lost to him and to virtue In a fit of desperation he retired to his chamber and despatched himself This is the instrument with which the deed was performed
Saying this Watson took a pistol from his pocket and held it to my head I lifted not my hand to turn aside the weapon I did not shudder at the spectacle or shrink from his approaching hand With fingers clasped together and eyes fixed upon the floor I waited till his fury was exhausted He continued—
All passed in a few hours The elopement of his daughter—the death of his son O my father Most loved and most venerable of men To see thee changed into a maniac Haggard and wild Deterred from outrage on thyself and those around thee by fetters and stripes What was it that saved me from a like fate To view this hideous ruin and to think by whom it was occasioned Yet not to become frantic like thee my father or not destroy myself like thee my brother My friend—
No For this hour was I reserved to avenge your wrongs and mine in the blood of this ungrateful villain
There continued he producing a second pistol and tendering it to me—there is thy defence Take we opposite sides of this table and fire at the same instant
During this address I was motionless He tendered the pistol but I unclasped not my hands to receive it
Why do you hesitate resumed he Let the chance between us be equal or fire you first
No said I I am ready to die by your hand I wish it It will preclude the necessity of performing the office for myself I have injured you and merit all that your vengeance can inflict I know your nature too well to believe that my death will be perfect expiation When the gust of indignation is past the remembrance of your deed will only add to your sum of misery yet I do not love you well enough to wish that you would forbear I desire to die and to die by anothers hand rather than my own
Coward exclaimed Watson with augmented vehemence you know me too well to believe me capable of assassination Vile subterfuge Contemptible plea Take the pistol and defend yourself You want not the power or the will but knowing that I spurn at murder you think your safety will be found in passiveness Your refusal will avail you little Your fame if not your life is at my mercy If you falter now I will allow you to live but only till I have stabbed your reputation
I now fixed my eyes steadfastly upon him and spoke—How much a stranger are you to the feelings of Welbeck How poor a judge of his cowardice I take your pistol and consent to your conditions
We took opposite sides of the table Are you ready he cried fire
Both triggers were drawn at the same instant Both pistols were discharged Mine was negligently raised Such is the untoward chance that presides over human affairs such is the malignant destiny by which my steps have ever been pursued The bullet whistled harmlessly by me—levelled by an eye that never before failed and with so small an interval between us I escaped but my blind and random shot took place in his heart
There is the fruit of this disastrous meeting The catalogue of death is thus completed Thou sleepest Watson Thy sister is at rest and so art thou Thy vows of vengeance are at an end It was not reserved for thee to be thy own and thy sisters avenger Welbecks measure of transgressions is now full and his own hand must execute the justice that is due to him
CHAPTER XII
Such was Welbecks tale listened to by me with an eagerness in which every faculty was absorbed How adverse to my dreams were the incidents that had just been related The curtain was lifted and a scene of guilt and ignominy disclosed where my rash and inexperienced youth had suspected nothing but loftiness and magnanimity
For a while the wondrousness of this tale kept me from contemplating the consequences that awaited us My unfledged fancy had not hitherto soared to this pitch All was astounding by its novelty or terrific by its horror The very scene of these offences partook to my rustic apprehension of fairy splendour and magical abruptness My understanding was bemazed and my senses were taught to distrust their own testimony
From this musing state I was recalled by my companion who said to me in solemn accents Mervyn I have but two requests to make Assist me to bury these remains and then accompany me across the river I have no power to compel your silence on the acts that you have witnessed I have meditated to benefit as well as to injure you but I do not desire that your demeanour should conform to any other standard than justice You have promised and to that promise I trust
If you choose to fly from this scene to withdraw yourself from what you may conceive to be a theatre of guilt or peril the avenues are open retire unmolested and in silence If you have a manlike spirit if you are grateful for the benefits bestowed upon you if your discernment enables you to see that compliance with my request will entangle you in no guilt and betray you into no danger stay and aid me in hiding these remains from human scrutiny
Watson is beyond the reach of further injury I never intended him harm though I have torn from him his sister and friend and have brought his life to an untimely close To provide him a grave is a duty that I owe to the dead and to the living I shall quickly place myself beyond the reach of inquisitors and judges but would willingly rescue from molestation or suspicion those whom I shall leave behind
What would have been the fruit of deliberation if I had had the time or power to deliberate I know not My thoughts flowed with tumult and rapidity To shut this spectacle from my view was the first impulse but to desert this man in a time of so much need appeared a thankless and dastardly deportment To remain where I was to conform implicitly to his direction required no effort Some fear was connected with his presence and with that of the dead but in the tremulous confusion of my present thoughts solitude would conjure up a thousand phantoms
I made no preparation to depart I did not verbally assent to his proposal He interpreted my silence into acquiescence He wrapped the body in the carpet and then lifting one end cast at me a look which indicated his expectations that I would aid him in lifting this ghastly burden During this process the silence was unbroken
I knew not whither he intended to convey the corpse He had talked of burial but no receptacle had been provided How far safety might depend upon his conduct in this particular I was unable to estimate I was in too heartless a mood to utter my doubts I followed his example in raising the corpse from the floor
He led the way into the passage and downstairs Having reached the first floor he unbolted a door which led into the cellar The stairs and passage were illuminated by lamps that hung from the ceiling and were accustomed to burn during the night Now however we were entering darksome and murky recesses
Return said he in a tone of command and fetch the light I will wait for you
I obeyed As I returned with the light a suspicion stole into my mind that Welbeck had taken this opportunity to fly and that on regaining the foot of the stairs I should find the spot deserted by all but the dead My blood was chilled by this image The momentary resolution it inspired was to follow the example of the fugitive and leave the persons whom the ensuing day might convene on this spot to form their own conjectures as to the cause of this catastrophe
Meanwhile I cast anxious eyes forward Welbeck was discovered in the same place and posture in which he had been left Lifting the corpse and its shroud in his arms he directed me to follow him The vaults beneath were lofty and spacious He passed from one to the other till we reached a small and remote cell Here he cast his burden on the ground In the fall the face of Watson chanced to be disengaged from its covering Its closed eyes and sunken muscles were rendered in a tenfold degree ghastly and rueful by the feeble light which the candle shed upon it
This object did not escape the attention of Welbeck He leaned against the wall and folding his arms resigned himself to reverie He gazed upon the countenance of Watson but his looks denoted his attention to be elsewhere employed
As to me my state will not be easily described My eye roved fearfully from one object to another By turns it was fixed upon the murdered person and the murderer The narrow cell in which we stood its rudelyfashioned walls and arches destitute of communication with the external air and its palpable dark scarcely penetrated by the rays of a solitary candle added to the silence which was deep and universal produced an impression on my fancy which no time will obliterate
Perhaps my imagination was distempered by terror The incident which I am going to relate may appear to have existed only in my fancy Be that as it may I experienced all the effects which the fullest belief is adapted to produce Glancing vaguely at the countenance of Watson my attention was arrested by a convulsive motion in the eyelids This motion increased till at length the eyes opened and a glance languid but wild was thrown around Instantly they closed and the tremulous appearance vanished
I started from my place and was on the point of uttering some involuntary exclamation At the same moment Welbeck seemed to recover from his reverie
How is this said he Why do we linger here Every moment is precious We cannot dig for him a grave with our hands Wait here while I go in search of a spade
Saying this he snatched the candle from my hand and hasted away My eye followed the light as its gleams shifted their place upon the walls and ceilings and gradually vanishing gave place to unrespited gloom This proceeding was so unexpected and abrupt that I had no time to remonstrate against it Before I retrieved the power of reflection the light had disappeared and the footsteps were no longer to be heard
I was not on ordinary occasions destitute of equanimity but perhaps the imagination of man is naturally abhorrent of death until tutored into indifference by habit Every circumstance combined to fill me with shuddering and panic For a while I was enabled to endure my situation by the exertions of my reason That the lifeless remains of a human being are powerless to injure or benefit I was thoroughly persuaded I summoned this belief to my aid and was able if not to subdue yet to curb my fears I listened to catch the sound of the returning footsteps of Welbeck and hoped that every new moment would terminate my solitude
No signal of his coming was afforded At length it occurred to me that Welbeck had gone with no intention to return that his malice had seduced me hither to encounter the consequences of his deed He had fled and barred every door behind him This suspicion may well be supposed to overpower my courage and to call forth desperate efforts for my deliverance
I extended my hands and went forward I had been too little attentive to the situation and direction of these vaults and passages to go forward with undeviating accuracy My fears likewise tended to confuse my perceptions and bewilder my steps Notwithstanding the danger of encountering obstructions I rushed towards the entrance with precipitation
My temerity was quickly punished In a moment I was repelled by a jutting angle of the wall with such force that I staggered backward and fell The blow was stunning and when I recovered my senses I perceived that a torrent of blood was gushing from my nostrils My clothes were moistened with this unwelcome effusion and I could not but reflect on the hazard which I should incur by being detected in this recess covered by these accusing stains
This reflection once more set me on my feet and incited my exertions I now proceeded with greater wariness and caution I had lost all distinct notions of my way My motions were at random All my labour was to shun obstructions and to advance whenever the vacuity would permit By this means the entrance was at length found and after various efforts I arrived beyond my hopes at the foot of the staircase
I ascended but quickly encountered an insuperable impediment The door at the stairhead was closed and barred My utmost strength was exerted in vain to break the lock or the hinges Thus were my direst apprehensions fulfilled Welbeck had left me to sustain the charge of murder to obviate suspicions the most atrocious and plausible that the course of human events is capable of producing
Here I must remain till the morrow till some one can be made to overhear my calls and come to my deliverance What effects will my appearance produce on the spectator Terrified by phantoms and stained with blood shall I not exhibit the tokens of a maniac as well as an assassin
The corpse of Watson will quickly be discovered If previous to this disclosure I should change my bloodstained garments and withdraw into the country shall I not be pursued by the most vehement suspicions and perhaps hunted to my obscurest retreat by the ministers of justice I am innocent but my tale however circumstantial or true will scarcely suffice for my vindication My flight will be construed into a proof of incontestable guilt
While harassed by these thoughts my attention was attracted by a faint gleam cast upon the bottom of the staircase It grew stronger hovered for a moment in my sight and then disappeared That it proceeded from a lamp or candle borne by some one along the passages was no untenable opinion but was far less probable than that the effulgence was meteorous I confided in the latter supposition and fortified myself anew against the dread of preternatural dangers My thoughts reverted to the contemplation of the hazards and suspicions which flowed from my continuance in this spot
In the midst of my perturbed musing my attention was again recalled by an illumination like the former Instead of hovering and vanishing it was permanent No ray could be more feeble but the tangible obscurity to which it succeeded rendered it conspicuous as an electrical flash For a while I eyed it without moving from my place and in momentary expectation of its disappearance
Remarking its stability the propriety of scrutinizing it more nearly and of ascertaining the source whence it flowed was at length suggested Hope as well as curiosity was the parent of my conduct Though utterly at a loss to assign the cause of this appearance I was willing to believe some connection between that cause and the means of my deliverance
I had scarcely formed the resolution of descending the stair when my hope was extinguished by the recollection that the cellar had narrow and grated windows through which light from the street might possibly have found access A second recollection supplanted this belief for in my way to this staircase my attention would have been solicited and my steps in some degree been guided by light coming through these avenues
Having returned to the bottom of the stair I perceived every part of the longdrawn passage illuminated I threw a glance forward to the quarter whence the rays seemed to proceed and beheld at a considerable distance Welbeck in the cell which I had left turning up the earth with a spade
After a pause of astonishment the nature of the error which I had committed rushed upon my apprehension I now perceived that the darkness had misled me to a different staircase from that which I had originally descended It was apparent that Welbeck intended me no evil but had really gone in search of the instrument which he had mentioned
This discovery overwhelmed me with contrition and shame though it freed me from the terrors of imprisonment and accusation To return to the cell which I had left and where Welbeck was employed in his disastrous office was the expedient which regard to my own safety unavoidably suggested
Welbeck paused at my approach and betrayed a momentary consternation at the sight of my ensanguined visage The blood by some inexplicable process of nature perhaps by the counteracting influence of fear had quickly ceased to flow Whether the cause of my evasion and of my flux of blood was guessed or whether his attention was withdrawn by more momentous objects from my condition he proceeded in his task in silence
A shallow bed and a slight covering of clay were provided for the hapless Watson Welbecks movements were hurried and tremulous His countenance betokened a mind engrossed by a single purpose in some degree foreign to the scene before him An intensity and fixedness of features were conspicuous that led me to suspect the subversion of his reason
Having finished the task he threw aside his implement He then put into my hand a pocketbook saying it belonged to Watson and might contain something serviceable to the living I might make what use of it I thought proper He then remounted the stairs and placing the candle on a table in the hall opened the principal door and went forth I was driven by a sort of mechanical impulse in his footsteps I followed him because it was agreeable to him and because I knew not whither else to direct my steps
The streets were desolate and silent The watchmans call remotely and faintly heard added to the general solemnity I followed my companion in a state of mind not easily described I had no spirit even to inquire whither he was going It was not till we arrived at the waters edge that I persuaded myself to break silence I then began to reflect on the degree in which his present schemes might endanger Welbeck or myself I had acted long enough a servile and mechanical part and been guided by blind and foreign impulses It was time to lay aside my fetters and demand to know whither the path tended in which I was importuned to walk
Meanwhile I found myself entangled among boats and shipping I am unable to describe the spot by any indisputable tokens I know merely that it was the termination of one of the principal streets Here Welbeck selected a boat and prepared to enter it For a moment I hesitated to comply with his apparent invitation I stammered out an interrogation—Why is this Why should we cross the river What service can I do for you I ought to know the purpose of my voyage before I enter it
He checked himself and surveyed me for a minute in silence What do you fear said he Have I not explained my wishes Merely cross the river with me for I cannot navigate a boat by myself Is there any thing arduous or mysterious in this undertaking we part on the Jersey shore and I shall leave you to your destiny All I shall ask from you will be silence and to hide from mankind what you know concerning me
He now entered the boat and urged me to follow his example I reluctantly complied I perceived that the boat contained but one oar and that was a small one He seemed startled and thrown into great perplexity by this discovery It will be impossible said he in a tone of panic and vexation to procure another at this hour what is to be done
This impediment was by no means insuperable I had sinewy arms and knew well how to use an oar for the double purpose of oar and rudder I took my station at the stern and quickly extricated the boat from its neighbours and from the wharves I was wholly unacquainted with the river The bar by which it was encumbered I knew to exist but in what direction and to what extent it existed and how it might be avoided in the present state of the tide I knew not It was probable therefore unknowing as I was of the proper track that our boat would speedily have grounded
My attention meanwhile was fixed upon the oar My companion sat at the prow and was in a considerable degree unnoticed I cast my eyes occasionally at the scene which I had left Its novelty joined with the incidents of my condition threw me into a state of suspense and wonder which frequently slackened my hand and left the vessel to be driven by the downward current Lights were sparingly seen and these were perpetually fluctuating as masts yards and hulls were interposed and passed before them In proportion as we receded from the shore the clamours seemed to multiply and the suggestion that the city was involved in confusion and uproar did not easily give way to maturer thoughts Twelve was the hour cried and this ascended at once from all quarters and was mingled with the baying of dogs so as to produce trepidation and alarm
From this state of magnificent and awful feeling I was suddenly called by the conduct of Welbeck We had scarcely moved two hundred yards from the shore when he plunged into the water The first conception was that some implement or part of the boat had fallen overboard I looked back and perceived that his seat was vacant In my first astonishment I loosened my hold of the oar and it floated away The surface was smooth as glass and the eddy occasioned by his sinking was scarcely visible I had not time to determine whether this was designed or accidental Its suddenness deprived me of the power to exert myself for his succour I wildly gazed around me in hopes of seeing him rise After some time my attention was drawn by the sound of agitation in the water to a considerable distance
It was too dark for any thing to be distinctly seen There was no cry for help The noise was like that of one vigorously struggling for a moment and then sinking to the bottom I listened with painful eagerness but was unable to distinguish a third signal He sunk to rise no more
I was for a time inattentive to my own situation The dreadfulness and unexpectedness of this catastrophe occupied me wholly The quick motion of the lights upon the shore showed me that I was borne rapidly along with the tide How to help myself how to impede my course or to regain either shore since I had lost the oar I was unable to tell I was no less at a loss to conjecture whither the current if suffered to control my vehicle would finally transport me
The disappearance of lights and buildings and the diminution of the noises acquainted me that I had passed the town It was impossible longer to hesitate The shore was to be regained by one way only which was swimming To any exploit of this kind my strength and my skill were adequate I threw away my loose gown put the pocketbook of the unfortunate Watson in my mouth to preserve it from being injured by moisture and committed myself to the stream
I landed in a spot incommoded with mud and reeds I sunk kneedeep into the former and was exhausted by the fatigue of extricating myself At length I recovered firm ground and threw myself on the turf to repair my wasted strength and to reflect on the measures which my future welfare enjoined me to pursue
What condition was ever parallel to mine The transactions of the last three days resembled the monstrous creations of delirium They were painted with vivid hues on my memory but so rapid and incongruous were these transitions that I almost denied belief to their reality They exercised a bewildering and stupefying influence on my mind from which the meditations of an hour were scarcely sufficient to relieve me Gradually I recovered the power of arranging my ideas and forming conclusions
Welbeck was dead His property was swallowed up and his creditors left to wonder at his disappearance All that was left was the furniture of his house to which Mrs Wentworth would lay claim in discharge of the unpaid rent What now was the destiny that awaited the lost and friendless Mademoiselle Lodi Where was she concealed Welbeck had dropped no intimation by which I might be led to suspect the place of her abode If my power in other respects could have contributed aught to her relief my ignorance of her asylum had utterly disabled me
But what of the murdered person He had suddenly vanished from the face of the earth His fate and the place of his interment would probably be suspected and ascertained Was I sure to escape from the consequences of this deed Watson had relatives and friends What influence on their state and happiness his untimely and mysterious fate would possess it was obvious to inquire This idea led me to the recollection of his pocketbook Some papers might be there explanatory of his situation
I resumed my feet I knew not where to direct my steps I was dropping with wet and shivering with the cold I was destitute of habitation and friend I had neither money nor any valuable thing in my possession I moved forward mechanically and at random Where I landed was at no great distance from the verge of the town In a short time I discovered the glimmering of a distant lamp To this I directed my steps and here I paused to examine the contents of the pocketbook
I found three banknotes each of fifty dollars enclosed in a piece of blank paper Besides these were three letters apparently written by his wife and dated at Baltimore They were brief but composed in a strain of great tenderness and containing affecting allusions to their child I could gather from their date and tenor that they were received during his absence on his recent voyage that her condition was considerably necessitous and surrounded by wants which their prolonged separation had increased
The fourth letter was open and seemed to have been very lately written It was directed to Mrs Mary Watson He informed her in it of his arrival at Philadelphia from St Domingo of the loss of his ship and cargo and of his intention to hasten home with all possible expedition He told her that all was lost but one hundred and fifty dollars the greater part of which he should bring with him to relieve her more pressing wants The letter was signed and folded and superscribed but unsealed
A little consideration showed me in what manner it became me on this occasion to demean myself I put the banknotes in the letter and sealed it with a wafer a few of which were found in the pocketbook I hesitated some time whether I should add any thing to the information which the letter contained by means of a pencil which offered itself to my view but I concluded to forbear I could select no suitable terms in which to communicate the mournful truth I resolved to deposit this letter at the postoffice where I knew letters could be left at all hours
My reflections at length reverted to my own condition What was the fate reserved for me How far my safety might be affected by remaining in the city in consequence of the disappearance of Welbeck and my known connection with the fugitive it was impossible to foresee My fears readily suggested innumerable embarrassments and inconveniences which would flow from this source Besides on what pretence should I remain To whom could I apply for protection or employment All avenues even to subsistence were shut against me The country was my sole asylum Here in exchange for my labour I could at least purchase food safety and repose But if my choice pointed to the country there was no reason for a moments delay It would be prudent to regain the fields and be far from this detested city before the rising of the sun
Meanwhile I was chilled and chafed by the clothes that I wore To change them for others was absolutely necessary to my ease The clothes which I wore were not my own and were extremely unsuitable to my new condition My rustic and homely garb was deposited in my chamber at Welbecks These thoughts suggested the design of returning thither I considered that probably the servants had not been alarmed That the door was unfastened and the house was accessible It would be easy to enter and retire without notice and this not without some waverings and misgivings I presently determined to do
Having deposited my letter at the office I proceeded to my late abode I approached and lifted the latch with caution There were no appearances of any one having been disturbed I procured a light in the kitchen and hied softly and with dubious footsteps to my chamber There I disrobed and resumed my check shirt and trowsers and fustian coat This change being accomplished nothing remained but that I should strike into the country with the utmost expedition
In a momentary review which I took of the past the design for which Welbeck professed to have originally detained me in his service occurred to my mind I knew the danger of reasoning loosely on the subject of property To any trinket or piece of furniture in this house I did not allow myself to question the right of Mrs Wentworth a right accruing to her in consequence of Welbecks failure in the payment of his rent but there was one thing which I felt an irresistible desire and no scruples which should forbid me to possess and that was the manuscript to which Welbeck had alluded as having been written by the deceased Lodi
I was well instructed in Latin and knew the Tuscan language to be nearly akin to it I despaired not of being at some time able to cultivate this language and believed that the possession of this manuscript might essentially contribute to this end as well as to many others equally beneficial It was easy to conjecture that the volume was to be found among his printed books and it was scarcely less easy to ascertain the truth of this conjecture I entered not without tremulous sensations into the apartment which had been the scene of the disastrous interview between Watson and Welbeck At every step I almost dreaded to behold the spectre of the former rise before me
Numerous and splendid volumes were arranged on mahogany shelves and screened by doors of glass I ran swiftly over their names and was at length so fortunate as to light upon the book of which I was in search I immediately secured it and leaving the candle extinguished on a table in the parlour I once more issued forth into the street With light steps and palpitating heart I turned my face towards the country My necessitous condition I believed would justify me in passing without payment the Schuylkill bridge and the eastern sky began to brighten with the dawn of morning not till I had gained the distance of nine miles from the city
Such is the tale which I proposed to relate to you Such are the memorable incidents of five days of my life from which I have gathered more instruction than from the whole tissue of my previous existence Such are the particulars of my knowledge respecting the crimes and misfortunes of Welbeck which the insinuations of Wortley and my desire to retain your good opinion have induced me to unfold
CHAPTER XIII
Mervyns pause allowed his auditors to reflect on the particulars of his narration and to compare them with the facts with a knowledge of which their own observation had supplied them My profession introduced me to the friendship of Mrs Wentworth by whom after the disappearance of Welbeck many circumstances respecting him had been mentioned She particularly dwelt upon the deportment and appearance of this youth at the single interview which took place between them and her representations were perfectly conformable to those which Mervyn had himself delivered
Previously to this interview Welbeck had insinuated to her that a recent event had put him in possession of the truth respecting the destiny of Clavering A kinsman of his had arrived from Portugal by whom this intelligence had been brought He dexterously eluded her entreaties to be furnished with minuter information or to introduce this kinsman to her acquaintance As soon as Mervyn was ushered into her presence she suspected him to be the person to whom Welbeck had alluded and this suspicion his conversation had confirmed She was at a loss to comprehend the reasons of the silence which he so pertinaciously maintained
Her uneasiness however prompted her to renew her solicitations On the day subsequent to the catastrophe related by Mervyn she sent a messenger to Welbeck with a request to see him Gabriel the black servant informed the messenger that his master had gone into the country for a week At the end of the week a messenger was again despatched with the same errand He called and knocked but no one answered his signals He examined the entrance by the kitchen but every avenue was closed It appeared that the house was wholly deserted
These appearances naturally gave birth to curiosity and suspicion The house was repeatedly examined but the solitude and silence within continued the same The creditors of Welbeck were alarmed by these appearances and their claims to the property remaining in the house were precluded by Mrs Wentworth who as owner of the mansion was legally entitled to the furniture in place of the rent which Welbeck had suffered to accumulate
On examining the dwelling all that was valuable and portable particularly linen and plate was removed The remainder was distrained but the tumults of pestilence succeeded and hindered it from being sold Things were allowed to continue in their former situation and the house was carefully secured We had no leisure to form conjectures on the causes of this desertion An explanation was afforded us by the narrative of this youth It is probable that the servants finding their masters absence continue had pillaged the house and fled
Meanwhile though our curiosity with regard to Welbeck was appeased it was obvious to inquire by what series of inducements and events Mervyn was reconducted to the city and led to the spot where I first met with him We intimated our wishes in this respect and our young friend readily consented to take up the thread of his story and bring it down to the point that was desired For this purpose the ensuing evening was selected Having at an early hour shut ourselves up from all intruders and visitors he continued as follows
I have mentioned that by sunrise I had gained the distance of many miles from the city My purpose was to stop at the first farmhouse and seek employment as a daylabourer The first person whom I observed was a man of placid mien and plain garb Habitual benevolence was apparent amidst the wrinkles of age He was traversing his buckwheatfield and measuring as it seemed the harvest that was now nearly ripe
I accosted him with diffidence and explained my wishes He listened to my tale with complacency inquired into my name and family and into my qualifications for the office to which I aspired My answers were candid and full
Why said he I believe thou and I can make a bargain We will at least try each other for a week or two If it does not suit our mutual convenience we can change The morning is damp and cool and thy plight does not appear the most comfortable that can be imagined Come to the house and eat some breakfast
The behaviour of this good man filled me with gratitude and joy Methought I could embrace him as a father and entrance into his house appeared like return to a longlost and muchloved home My desolate and lonely condition appeared to be changed for paternal regards and the tenderness of friendship
These emotions were confirmed and heightened by every object that presented itself under this roof The family consisted of Mrs Hadwin two simple and affectionate girls his daughters and servants The manners of this family quiet artless and cordial the occupations allotted me the land by which the dwelling was surrounded its pure airs romantic walks and exhaustless fertility constituted a powerful contrast to the scenes which I had left behind and were congenial with every dictate of my understanding and every sentiment that glowed in my heart
My youth mental cultivation and circumspect deportment entitled me to deference and confidence Each hour confirmed me in the good opinion of Mr Hadwin and in the affections of his daughters In the mind of my employer the simplicity of the husbandman and the devotion of the Quaker were blended with humanity and intelligence The sisters Susan and Eliza were unacquainted with calamity and vice through the medium of either observation or books They were strangers to the benefits of an elaborate education but they were endowed with curiosity and discernment and had not suffered their slender means of instruction to remain unimproved
The sedateness of the elder formed an amusing contrast with the laughing eye and untamable vivacity of the younger but they smiled and they wept in unison They thought and acted in different but not discordant keys On all momentous occasions they reasoned and felt alike In ordinary cases they separated as it were into different tracks but this diversity was productive not of jarring but of harmony
A romantic and untutored disposition like mine may be supposed liable to strong impressions from perpetual converse with persons of their age and sex The elder was soon discovered to have already disposed of her affections The younger was free and somewhat that is more easily conceived than named stole insensibly upon my heart The images that haunted me at home and abroad in her absence and her presence gradually coalesced into one shape and gave birth to an incessant train of latent palpitations and indefinable hopes My days were little else than uninterrupted reveries and night only called up phantoms more vivid and equally enchanting
The memorable incidents which had lately happened scarcely counterpoised my new sensations or diverted my contemplations from the present My views were gradually led to rest upon futurity and in that I quickly found cause of circumspection and dread My present labours were light and were sufficient for my subsistence in a single state but wedlock was the parent of new wants and of new cares Mr Hadwins possessions were adequate to his own frugal maintenance but divided between his children would be too scanty for either Besides this division could only take place at his death and that was an event whose speedy occurrence was neither desirable nor probable
Another obstacle was now remembered Hadwin was the conscientious member of a sect which forbade the marriage of its votaries with those of a different communion I had been trained in an opposite creed and imagined it impossible that I should ever become a proselyte to Quakerism It only remained for me to feign conversion or to root out the opinions of my friend and win her consent to a secret marriage Whether hypocrisy was eligible was no subject of deliberation If the possession of all that ambition can conceive were added to the transports of union with Eliza Hadwin and offered as the price of dissimulation it would have been instantly rejected My external goods were not abundant nor numerous but the consciousness of rectitude was mine and in competition with this the luxury of the heart and of the senses the gratifications of boundless ambition and inexhaustible wealth were contemptible and frivolous
The conquest of Elizas errors was easy but to introduce discord and sorrow into this family was an act of the utmost ingratitude and profligacy It was only requisite for my understanding clearly to discern to be convinced of the insuperability of this obstacle It was manifest therefore that the point to which my wishes tended was placed beyond my reach
To foster my passion was to foster a disease destructive either of my integrity or my existence It was indispensable to fix my thoughts upon a different object and to debar myself even from her intercourse To ponder on themes foreign to my darling image and to seclude myself from her society at hours which had usually been spent with her were difficult tasks The latter was the least practicable I had to contend with eyes which alternately wondered at and upbraided me for my unkindness She was wholly unaware of the nature of her own feelings and this ignorance made her less scrupulous in the expression of her sentiments
Hitherto I had needed not employment beyond myself and my companions Now my new motives made me eager to discover some means of controlling and beguiling my thoughts In this state the manuscript of Lodi occurred to me In my way hither I had resolved to make the study of the language of this book and the translation of its contents into English the business and solace of my leisure Now this resolution was revived with new force
My project was perhaps singular The ancient language of Italy possessed a strong affinity with the modern My knowledge of the former was my only means of gaining the latter I had no grammar or vocabulary to explain how far the meanings and inflections of Tuscan words varied from the Roman dialect I was to ponder on each sentence and phrase to select among different conjectures the most plausible and to ascertain the true by patient and repeated scrutiny
This undertaking fantastic and impracticable as it may seem proved upon experiment to be within the compass of my powers The detail of my progress would be curious and instructive What impediments in the attainment of a darling purpose human ingenuity and patience are able to surmount how much may be done by strenuous and solitary efforts how the mind unassisted may draw forth the principles of inflection and arrangement may profit by remote analogous and latent similitudes would be forcibly illustrated by my example but the theme however attractive must for the present be omitted
My progress was slow but the perception of hourly improvement afforded me unspeakable pleasure Having arrived near the last pages I was able to pursue with little interruption the thread of an eloquent narration The triumph of a leader of outlaws over the popular enthusiasm of the Milanese and the claims of neighbouring potentates was about to be depicted The Condottiero Sforza had taken refuge from his enemies in a tomb accidentally discovered amidst the ruins of a Roman fortress in the Apennines He had sought this recess for the sake of concealment but found in it a treasure by which he would be enabled to secure the wavering and venal faith of that crew of ruffians that followed his standard provided he fell not into the hands of the enemies who were now in search of him
My tumultuous curiosity was suddenly checked by the following leaves being glued together at the edges To dissever them without injury to the written spaces was by no means easy I proceeded to the task not without precipitation The edges were torn away and the leaves parted
It may be thought that I took up the thread where it had been broken but no The object that my eyes encountered and which the cemented leaves had so long concealed was beyond the power of the most capricious or lawless fancy to have prefigured yet it bore a shadowy resemblance to the images with which my imagination was previously occupied I opened and beheld—a banknote
To the first transports of surprise the conjecture succeeded that the remaining leaves cemented together in the same manner might enclose similar bills They were hastily separated and the conjecture was verified My sensations at this discovery were of an inexplicable kind I gazed at the notes in silence I moved my finger over them held them in different positions read and reread the name of each sum and the signature added them together and repeated to myself—Twenty thousand dollars They are mine and by such means
This sum would have redeemed the fallen fortunes of Welbeck The dying Lodi was unable to communicate all the contents of this inestimable volume He had divided his treasure with a view to its greater safety between this volume and his pocketbook Death hasted upon him too suddenly to allow him to explain his precautions Welbeck had placed the book in his collection purposing some time to peruse it but deterred by anxieties which the perusal would have dissipated he rushed to desperation and suicide from which some evanescent contingency by unfolding this treasure to his view would have effectually rescued him
But was this event to be regretted This sum like the former would probably have been expended in the same pernicious prodigality His career would have continued some time longer but his inveterate habits would have finally conducted his existence to the same criminal and ignominious close
But the destiny of Welbeck was accomplished The money was placed without guilt or artifice in my possession My fortune had been thus unexpectedly and wondrously propitious How was I to profit by her favour Would not this sum enable me to gather round me all the instruments of pleasure Equipage and palace and a multitude of servants polished mirrors splendid hangings banquets and flatterers were equally abhorrent to my taste and my principles The accumulation of knowledge and the diffusion of happiness in which riches may be rendered eminently instrumental were the only precepts of duty and the only avenues to genuine felicity
But what said I is my title to this money By retaining it shall I not be as culpable as Welbeck It came into his possession as it came into mine without a crime but my knowledge of the true proprietor is equally certain and the claims of the unfortunate stranger are as valid as ever Indeed if utility and not law be the measure of justice her claim desolate and indigent as she is unfitted by her past life by the softness and the prejudices of her education for contending with calamity is incontestable
As to me health and diligence will give me not only the competence which I seek but the power of enjoying it If my present condition be unchangeable I shall not be unhappy My occupations are salutary and meritorious I am a stranger to the cares as well as to the enjoyment of riches abundant means of knowledge are possessed by me as long as I have eyes to gaze at man and at nature as they are exhibited in their original forms or in books The precepts of my duty cannot be mistaken The lady must be sought and the money restored to her
Certain obstacles existed to the immediate execution of this scheme How should I conduct my search What apology should I make for withdrawing thus abruptly and contrary to the terms of an agreement into which I had lately entered from the family and service of my friend and benefactor Hadwin
My thoughts were called away from pursuing these inquiries by a rumour which had gradually swelled to formidable dimensions and which at length reached us in our quiet retreats The city we were told was involved in confusion and panic for a pestilential disease had begun its destructive progress Magistrates and citizens were flying to the country The numbers of the sick multiplied beyond all example even in the pestaffected cities of the Levant The malady was malignant and unsparing
The usual occupations and amusements of life were at an end Terror had exterminated all the sentiments of nature Wives were deserted by husbands and children by parents Some had shut themselves in their houses and debarred themselves from all communication with the rest of mankind The consternation of others had destroyed their understanding and their misguided steps hurried them into the midst of the danger which they had previously laboured to shun Men were seized by this disease in the streets passengers fled from them entrance into their own dwellings was denied to them they perished in the public ways
The chambers of disease were deserted and the sick left to die of negligence None could be found to remove the lifeless bodies Their remains suffered to decay by piecemeal filled the air with deadly exhalations and added tenfold to the devastation
Such was the tale distorted and diversified a thousand ways by the credulity and exaggeration of the tellers At first I listened to the story with indifference or mirth Methought it was confuted by its own extravagance The enormity and variety of such an evil made it unworthy to be believed I expected that every new day would detect the absurdity and fallacy of such representations Every new day however added to the number of witnesses and the consistency of the tale till at length it was not possible to withhold my faith
CHAPTER XIV
This rumour was of a nature to absorb and suspend the whole soul A certain sublimity is connected with enormous dangers that imparts to our consternation or our pity a tincture of the pleasing This at least may be experienced by those who are beyond the verge of peril My own person was exposed to no hazard I had leisure to conjure up terrific images and to personate the witnesses and sufferers of this calamity This employment was not enjoined upon me by necessity but was ardently pursued and must therefore have been recommended by some nameless charm
Others were very differently affected As often as the tale was embellished with new incidents or enforced by new testimony the hearer grew pale his breath was stifled by inquietudes his blood was chilled and his stomach was bereaved of its usual energies A temporary indisposition was produced in many Some were haunted by a melancholy bordering upon madness and some in consequence of sleepless panics for which no cause could be assigned and for which no opiates could be found were attacked by lingering or mortal diseases
Mr Hadwin was superior to groundless apprehensions His daughters however partook in all the consternation which surrounded them The eldest had indeed abundant reason for her terror The youth to whom she was betrothed resided in the city A year previous to this he had left the house of Mr Hadwin who was his uncle and had removed to Philadelphia in pursuit of fortune
He made himself clerk to a merchant and by some mercantile adventures in which he had successfully engaged began to flatter himself with being able in no long time to support a family Meanwhile a tender and constant correspondence was maintained between him and his beloved Susan This girl was a soft enthusiast in whose bosom devotion and love glowed with an ardour that has seldom been exceeded
The first tidings of the yellow fever was heard by her with unspeakable perturbation Wallace was interrogated by letter respecting its truth For a time he treated it as a vague report At length a confession was extorted from him that there existed a pestilential disease in the city but he added that it was hitherto confined to one quarter distant from the place of his abode
The most pathetic entreaties were urged by her that he would withdraw into the country He declared his resolution to comply when the street in which he lived should become infected and his stay should be attended with real danger He stated how much his interests depended upon the favour of his present employer who had used the most powerful arguments to detain him but declared that when his situation should become in the least degree perilous he would slight every consideration of gratitude and interest and fly to Malverton Meanwhile he promised to communicate tidings of his safety by every opportunity
Belding Mr Hadwins next neighbour though not uninfected by the general panic persisted to visit the city daily with his marketcart He set out by sunrise and usually returned by noon By him a letter was punctually received by Susan As the hour of Beldings return approached her impatience and anxiety increased The daily epistle was received and read in a transport of eagerness For a while her emotion subsided but returned with augmented vehemence at noon on the ensuing day
These agitations were too vehement for a feeble constitution like hers She renewed her supplications to Wallace to quit the city He repeated his assertions of being hitherto secure and his promise of coming when the danger should be imminent When Belding returned and instead of being accompanied by Wallace merely brought a letter from him the unhappy Susan would sink into fits of lamentation and weeping and repel every effort to console her with an obstinacy that partook of madness It was at length manifest that Wallaces delays would be fatally injurious to the health of his mistress
Mr Hadwin had hitherto been passive He conceived that the entreaties and remonstrances of his daughter were more likely to influence the conduct of Wallace than any representations which he could make Now however he wrote the contumacious Wallace a letter in which he laid his commands upon him to return in company with Belding and declared that by a longer delay the youth would forfeit his favour
The malady had at this time made considerable progress Beldings interest at length yielded to his fears and this was the last journey which he proposed to make Hence our impatience for the return of Wallace was augmented since if this opportunity were lost no suitable conveyance might again be offered him
Belding set out as usual at the dawn of day The customary interval between his departure and return was spent by Susan in a tumult of hopes and fears As noon approached her suspense arose to a pitch of wildness and agony She could scarcely be restrained from running along the road many miles towards the city that she might by meeting Belding halfway the sooner ascertain the fate of her lover She stationed herself at a window which overlooked the road along which Belding was to pass
Her sister and her father though less impatient marked with painful eagerness the first sound of the approaching vehicle They snatched a look at it as soon as it appeared in sight Belding was without a companion
This confirmation of her fears overwhelmed the unhappy Susan She sunk into a fit from which for a long time her recovery was hopeless This was succeeded by paroxysms of a furious insanity in which she attempted to snatch any pointed implement which lay within her reach with a view to destroy herself These being carefully removed or forcibly wrested from her she resigned herself to sobs and exclamations
Having interrogated Belding he informed us that he occupied his usual post in the marketplace that heretofore Wallace had duly sought him out and exchanged letters but that on this morning the young man had not made his appearance though Belding had been induced by his wish to see him to prolong his stay in the city much beyond the usual period
That some other cause than sickness had occasioned this omission was barely possible There was scarcely room for the most sanguine temper to indulge a hope Wallace was without kindred and probably without friends in the city The merchant in whose service he had placed himself was connected with him by no considerations but that of interest What then must be his situation when seized with a malady which all believed to be contagious and the fear of which was able to dissolve the strongest ties that bind human beings together
I was personally a stranger to this youth I had seen his letters and they bespoke not indeed any great refinement or elevation of intelligence but a frank and generous spirit to which I could not refuse my esteem but his chief claim to my affection consisted in his consanguinity to Mr Hadwin and his place in the affections of Susan His welfare was essential to the happiness of those whose happiness had become essential to mine I witnessed the outrages of despair in the daughter and the symptoms of a deep but less violent grief in the sister and parent Was it not possible for me to alleviate their pangs Could not the fate of Wallace be ascertained
This disease assailed men with different degrees of malignity In its worst form perhaps it was incurable but in some of its modes it was doubtless conquerable by the skill of physicians and the fidelity of nurses In its least formidable symptoms negligence and solitude would render it fatal
Wallace might perhaps experience this pest in its most lenient degree but the desertion of all mankind the want not only of medicines but of food would irrevocably seal his doom My imagination was incessantly pursued by the image of this youth perishing alone and in obscurity calling on the name of distant friends or invoking ineffectually the succour of those who were near
Hitherto distress had been contemplated at a distance and through the medium of a fancy delighting to be startled by the wonderful or transported by sublimity Now the calamity had entered my own doors imaginary evils were supplanted by real and my heart was the seat of commiseration and horror
I found myself unfit for recreation or employment I shrouded myself in the gloom of the neighbouring forest or lost myself in the maze of rocks and dells I endeavoured in vain to shut out the phantoms of the dying Wallace and to forget the spectacle of domestic woes At length it occurred to me to ask May not this evil be obviated and the felicity of the Hadwins reestablished Wallace is friendless and succourless but cannot I supply to him the place of protector and nurse Why not hasten to the city search out his abode and ascertain whether he be living or dead If he still retain life may I not by consolation and attendance contribute to the restoration of his health and conduct him once more to the bosom of his family
With what transports will his arrival be hailed How amply will their impatience and their sorrow be compensated by his return In the spectacle of their joys how rapturous and pure will be my delight Do the benefits which I have received from the Hadwins demand a less retribution than this
It is true that my own life will be endangered but my danger will be proportioned to the duration of my stay in this seat of infection The death or the flight of Wallace may absolve me from the necessity of spending one night in the city The rustics who daily frequent the market are as experience proves exempt from this disease in consequence perhaps of limiting their continuance in the city to a few hours May I not in this respect conform to their example and enjoy a similar exemption
My stay however may be longer than the day I may be condemned to share in the common destiny What then Life is dependent on a thousand contingencies not to be computed or foreseen The seeds of an early and lingering death are sown in my constitution It is in vain to hope to escape the malady by which my mother and my brothers have died We are a race whose existence some inherent property has limited to the short space of twenty years We are exposed in common with the rest of mankind to innumerable casualties but if these be shunned we are unalterably fated to perish by consumption Why then should I scruple to lay down my life in the cause of virtue and humanity It is better to die in the consciousness of having offered an heroic sacrifice to die by a speedy stroke than by the perverseness of nature in ignominious inactivity and lingering agonies
These considerations determined me to hasten to the city To mention my purpose to the Hadwins would be useless or pernicious It would only augment the sum of their present anxieties I should meet with a thousand obstacles in the tenderness and terror of Eliza and in the prudent affection of her father Their arguments I should be condemned to hear but should not be able to confute and should only load myself with imputations of perverseness and temerity
But how else should I explain my absence I had hitherto preserved my lips untainted by prevarication or falsehood Perhaps there was no occasion which would justify an untruth but here at least it was superfluous or hurtful My disappearance if effected without notice or warning will give birth to speculation and conjecture but my true motives will never be suspected and therefore will excite no fears My conduct will not be charged with guilt It will merely be thought upon with some regret which will be alleviated by the opinion of my safety and the daily expectation of my return
But since my purpose was to search out Wallace I must be previously furnished with directions to the place of his abode and a description of his person Satisfaction on this head was easily obtained from Mr Hadwin who was prevented from suspecting the motives of my curiosity by my questions being put in a manner apparently casual He mentioned the street and the number of the house
I listened with surprise It was a house with which I was already familiar He resided it seems with a merchant Was it possible for me to be mistaken
What I asked was the merchants name
Thetford
This was a confirmation of my first conjecture I recollected the extraordinary means by which I had gained access to the house and bedchamber of this gentleman I recalled the person and appearance of the youth by whose artifices I had been entangled in the snare These artifices implied some domestic or confidential connection between Thetford and my guide Wallace was a member of the family Could it be he by whom I was betrayed
Suitable questions easily obtained from Hadwin a description of the person and carriage of his nephew Every circumstance evinced the identity of their persons Wallace then was the engaging and sprightly youth whom I had encountered at Leshers and who for purposes not hitherto discoverable had led me into a situation so romantic and perilous
I was far from suspecting that these purposes were criminal It was easy to infer that his conduct proceeded from juvenile wantonness and a love of sport My resolution was unaltered by this disclosure and having obtained all the information which I needed I secretly began my journey
My reflections on the way were sufficiently employed in tracing the consequences of my project in computing the inconveniences and dangers to which I was preparing to subject myself in fortifying my courage against the influence of rueful sights and abrupt transitions and in imagining the measures which it would be proper to pursue in every emergency
Connected as these views were with the family and character of Thetford I could not but sometimes advert to those incidents which formerly happened The mercantile alliance between him and Welbeck was remembered the allusions which were made to the condition of the latter in the chamberconversation of which I was an unsuspected auditor and the relation which these allusions might possess with subsequent occurrences Welbecks property was forfeited It had been confided to the care of Thetfords brother Had the cause of this forfeiture been truly or thoroughly explained Might not contraband articles have been admitted through the management or under the connivance of the brothers and might not the younger Thetford be furnished with the means of purchasing the captured vessel and her cargo—which as usual would be sold by auction at a fifth or tenth of its real value
Welbeck was not alive to profit by the detection of this artifice admitting these conclusions to be just My knowledge will be useless to the world for by what motives can I be influenced to publish the truth or by whom will my single testimony be believed in opposition to that plausible exterior and perhaps to that general integrity which Thetford has maintained To myself it will not be unprofitable It is a lesson on the principles of human nature on the delusiveness of appearances on the perviousness of fraud and on the power with which nature has invested human beings over the thoughts and actions of each other
Thetford and his frauds were dismissed from my thoughts to give place to considerations relative to Clemenza Lodi and the money which chance had thrown into my possession Time had only confirmed my purpose to restore these bills to the rightful proprietor and heightened my impatience to discover her retreat I reflected that the means of doing this were more likely to suggest themselves at the place to which I was going than elsewhere I might indeed perish before my views in this respect could be accomplished Against these evils I had at present no power to provide While I lived I would bear perpetually about me the volume and its precious contents If I died a superior power must direct the course of this as of all other events
CHAPTER XV
These meditations did not enfeeble my resolution or slacken my pace In proportion as I drew near the city the tokens of its calamitous condition became more apparent Every farmhouse was filled with supernumerary tenants fugitives from home and haunting the skirts of the road eager to detain every passenger with inquiries after news The passengers were numerous for the tide of emigration was by no means exhausted Some were on foot bearing in their countenances the tokens of their recent terror and filled with mournful reflections on the forlornness of their state Few had secured to themselves an asylum some were without the means of paying for victuals or lodging for the coming night others who were not thus destitute yet knew not whither to apply for entertainment every house being already overstocked with inhabitants or barring its inhospitable doors at their approach
Families of weeping mothers and dismayed children attended with a few pieces of indispensable furniture were carried in vehicles of every form The parent or husband had perished and the price of some movable or the pittance handed forth by public charity had been expended to purchase the means of retiring from this theatre of disasters though uncertain and hopeless of accommodation in the neighbouring districts
Between these and the fugitives whom curiosity had led to the road dialogues frequently took place to which I was suffered to listen From every mouth the tale of sorrow was repeated with new aggravations Pictures of their own distress or of that of their neighbours were exhibited in all the hues which imagination can annex to pestilence and poverty
My preconceptions of the evil now appeared to have fallen short of the truth The dangers into which I was rushing seemed more numerous and imminent than I had previously imagined I wavered not in my purpose A panic crept to my heart which more vehement exertions were necessary to subdue or control but I harboured not a momentary doubt that the course which I had taken was prescribed by duty There was no difficulty or reluctance in proceeding All for which my efforts were demanded was to walk in this path without tumult or alarm
Various circumstances had hindered me from setting out upon this journey as early as was proper My frequent pauses to listen to the narratives of travellers contributed likewise to procrastination The sun had nearly set before I reached the precincts of the city I pursued the track which I had formerly taken and entered High Street after nightfall Instead of equipages and a throng of passengers the voice of levity and glee which I had formerly observed and which the mildness of the season would at other times have produced I found nothing but a dreary solitude
The marketplace and each side of this magnificent avenue were illuminated as before by lamps but between the verge of Schuylkill and the heart of the city I met not more than a dozen figures and these were ghostlike wrapped in cloaks from behind which they cast upon me glances of wonder and suspicion and as I approached changed their course to avoid touching me Their clothes were sprinkled with vinegar and their nostrils defended from contagion by some powerful perfume
I cast a look upon the houses which I recollected to have formerly been at this hour brilliant with lights resounding with lively voices and thronged with busy faces Now they were closed above and below dark and without tokens of being inhabited From the upper windows of some a gleam sometimes fell upon the pavement I was traversing and showed that their tenants had not fled but were secluded or disabled
These tokens were new and awakened all my panics Death seemed to hover over this scene and I dreaded that the floating pestilence had already lighted on my frame I had scarcely overcome these tremors when I approached a house the door of which was opened and before which stood a vehicle which I presently recognised to be a hearse
The driver was seated on it I stood still to mark his visage and to observe the course which he proposed to take Presently a coffin borne by two men issued from the house The driver was a negro but his companions were white Their features were marked by ferocious indifference to danger or pity One of them as he assisted in thrusting the coffin into the cavity provided for it said Ill be damned if I think the poor dog was quite dead It wasnt the fever that ailed him but the sight of the girl and her mother on the floor I wonder how they all got into that room What carried them there
The other surlily muttered Their legs tobesure
But what should they hug together in one room for
To save us trouble tobesure
And I thank them with all my heart but damn it it wasnt right to put him in his coffin before the breath was fairly gone I thought the last look he gave me told me to stay a few minutes
Pshaw He could not live The sooner dead the better for him as well as for us Did you mark how he eyed us when we carried away his wife and daughter I never cried in my life since I was kneehigh but curse me if I ever felt in better tune for the business than just then Hey continued he looking up and observing me standing a few paces distant and listening to their discourse whats wanted Anybody dead
I stayed not to answer or parley but hurried forward My joints trembled and cold drops stood on my forehead I was ashamed of my own infirmity and by vigorous efforts of my reason regained some degree of composure The evening had now advanced and it behooved me to procure accommodation at some of the inns
These were easily distinguished by their signs but many were without inhabitants At length I lighted upon one the hall of which was open and the windows lifted After knocking for some time a young girl appeared with many marks of distress In answer to my question she answered that both her parents were sick and that they could receive no one I inquired in vain for any other tavern at which strangers might be accommodated She knew of none such and left me on someones calling to her from above in the midst of my embarrassment After a moments pause I returned discomfited and perplexed to the street
I proceeded in a considerable degree at random At length I reached a spacious building in Fourth Street which the signpost showed me to be an inn I knocked loudly and often at the door At length a female opened the window of the second story and in a tone of peevishness demanded what I wanted I told her that I wanted lodging
Go hunt for it somewhere else said she youll find none here I began to expostulate but she shut the window with quickness and left me to my own reflections
I began now to feel some regret at the journey I had taken Never in the depth of caverns or forests was I equally conscious of loneliness I was surrounded by the habitations of men but I was destitute of associate or friend I had money but a horseshelter or a morsel of food could not be purchased I came for the purpose of relieving others but stood in the utmost need myself Even in health my condition was helpless and forlorn but what would become of me should this fatal malady be contracted To hope that an asylum would be afforded to a sick man which was denied to one in health was unreasonable
The first impulse which flowed from these reflections was to hasten back to Malverton which with sufficient diligence I might hope to regain before the morning light I could not methought return upon my steps with too much speed I was prompted to run as if the pest was rushing upon me and could be eluded only by the most precipitate flight
This impulse was quickly counteracted by new ideas I thought with indignation and shame on the imbecility of my proceeding I called up the images of Susan Hadwin and of Wallace I reviewed the motives which had led me to the undertaking of this journey Time had by no means diminished their force I had indeed nearly arrived at the accomplishment of what I had intended A few steps would carry me to Thetfords habitation This might be the critical moment when succour was most needed and would be most efficacious
I had previously concluded to defer going thither till the ensuing morning but why should I allow myself a moments delay I might at least gain an external view of the house and circumstances might arise which would absolve me from the obligation of remaining an hour longer in the city All for which I came might be performed the destiny of Wallace be ascertained and I be once more safe within the precincts of Malverton before the return of day
I immediately directed my steps towards the habitation of Thetford Carriages bearing the dead were frequently discovered A few passengers likewise occurred whose hasty and perturbed steps denoted their participation in the common distress The house of which I was in quest quickly appeared Light from an upper window indicated that it was still inhabited
I paused a moment to reflect in what manner it became me to proceed To ascertain the existence and condition of Wallace was the purpose of my journey He had inhabited this house and whether he remained in it was now to be known I felt repugnance to enter since my safety might by entering be unawares and uselessly endangered Most of the neighbouring houses were apparently deserted In some there were various tokens of people being within Might I not inquire at one of these respecting the condition of Thetfords family Yet why should I disturb them by inquiries so impertinent at this unseasonable hour To knock at Thetfords door and put my questions to him who should obey the signal was the obvious method
I knocked dubiously and lightly No one came I knocked again and more loudly I likewise drew the bell I distinctly heard its distant peals If any were within my signal could not fail to be noticed I paused and listened but neither voice nor footsteps could be heard The light though obscured by windowcurtains which seemed to be drawn close was still perceptible
I ruminated on the causes that might hinder my summons from being obeyed I figured to myself nothing but the helplessness of disease or the insensibility of death These images only urged me to persist in endeavouring to obtain admission Without weighing the consequences of my act I involuntarily lifted the latch The door yielded to my hand and I put my feet within the passage
Once more I paused The passage was of considerable extent and at the end of it I perceived light as from a lamp or candle This impelled me to go forward till I reached the foot of a staircase A candle stood upon the lowest step
This was a new proof that the house was not deserted I struck my heel against the floor with some violence but this like my former signals was unnoticed Having proceeded thus far it would have been absurd to retire with my purpose uneffected Taking the candle in my hand I opened a door that was near It led into a spacious parlour furnished with profusion and splendour I walked to and fro gazing at the objects which presented themselves and involved in perplexity I knocked with my heel louder than ever but no less ineffectually
Notwithstanding the lights which I had seen it was possible that the house was uninhabited This I was resolved to ascertain by proceeding to the chamber which I had observed from without to be illuminated This chamber as far as the comparison of circumstances would permit me to decide I believed to be the same in which I had passed the first night of my late abode in the city Now was I a second time in almost equal ignorance of my situation and of the consequences which impended exploring my way to the same recess
I mounted the stair As I approached the door of which I was in search a vapour infectious and deadly assailed my senses It resembled nothing of which I had ever before been sensible Many odours had been met with even since my arrival in the city less supportable than this I seemed not so much to smell as to taste the element that now encompassed me I felt as if I had inhaled a poisonous and subtle fluid whose power instantly bereft my stomach of all vigour Some fatal influence appeared to seize upon my vitals and the work of corrosion and decomposition to be busily begun
For a moment I doubted whether imagination had not some share in producing my sensation but I had not been previously panicstruck and even now I attended to my own sensations without mental discomposure That I had imbibed this disease was not to be questioned So far the chances in my favour were annihilated The lot of sickness was drawn
Whether my case would be lenient or malignant whether I should recover or perish was to be left to the decision of the future This incident instead of appalling me tended rather to invigorate my courage The danger which I feared had come I might enter with indifference on this theatre of pestilence I might execute without faltering the duties that my circumstances might create My state was no longer hazardous and my destiny would be totally uninfluenced by my future conduct
The pang with which I was first seized and the momentary inclination to vomit which it produced presently subsided My wholesome feelings indeed did not revisit me but strength to proceed was restored to me The effluvia became more sensible as I approached the door of the chamber The door was ajar and the light within was perceived My belief that those within were dead was presently confuted by sound which I first supposed to be that of steps moving quickly and timorously across the floor This ceased and was succeeded by sounds of different but inexplicable import
Having entered the apartment I saw a candle on the hearth A table was covered with vials and other apparatus of a sickchamber A bed stood on one side the curtain of which was dropped at the foot so as to conceal any one within I fixed my eyes upon this object There were sufficient tokens that some one lay upon the bed Breath drawn at long intervals mutterings scarcely audible and a tremulous motion in the bedstead were fearful and intelligible indications
If my heart faltered it must not be supposed that my trepidations arose from any selfish considerations Wallace only the object of my search was present to my fancy Pervaded with remembrance of the Hadwins of the agonies which they had already endured of the despair which would overwhelm the unhappy Susan when the death of her lover should be ascertained observant of the lonely condition of this house whence I could only infer that the sick had been denied suitable attendance and reminded by the symptoms that appeared that this being was struggling with the agonies of death a sickness of the heart more insupportable than that which I had just experienced stole upon me
My fancy readily depicted the progress and completion of this tragedy Wallace was the first of the family on whom the pestilence had seized Thetford had fled from his habitation Perhaps as a father and husband to shun the danger attending his stay was the injunction of his duty It was questionless the conduct which selfish regards would dictate Wallace was left to perish alone or perhaps which indeed was a supposition somewhat justified by appearances he had been left to the tendance of mercenary wretches by whom at this desperate moment he had been abandoned
I was not mindless of the possibility that these forebodings specious as they were might be false The dying person might be some other than Wallace The whispers of my hope were indeed faint but they at least prompted me to snatch a look at the expiring man For this purpose I advanced and thrust my head within the curtain
CHAPTER XVI
The features of one whom I had seen so transiently as Wallace may be imagined to be not easily recognised especially when those features were tremulous and deathful Here however the differences were too conspicuous to mislead me I beheld one in whom I could recollect none that bore resemblance Though ghastly and livid the traces of intelligence and beauty were undefaced The life of Wallace was of more value to a feeble individual but surely the being that was stretched before me and who was hastening to his last breath was precious to thousands
Was he not one in whose place I would willingly have died The offering was too late His extremities were already cold A vapour noisome and contagious hovered over him The flutterings of his pulse had ceased His existence was about to close amidst convulsion and pangs
I withdrew my gaze from this object and walked to a table I was nearly unconscious of my movements My thoughts were occupied with contemplations of the train of horrors and disasters that pursue the race of man My musings were quickly interrupted by the sight of a small cabinet the hinges of which were broken and the lid half raised In the present state of my thoughts I was prone to suspect the worst Here were traces of pillage Some casual or mercenary attendant had not only contributed to hasten the death of the patient but had rifled his property and fled
This suspicion would perhaps have yielded to mature reflections if I had been suffered to reflect A moment scarcely elapsed when some appearance in the mirror which hung over the table called my attention It was a human figure Nothing could be briefer than the glance that I fixed upon this apparition yet there was room enough for the vague conception to suggest itself that the dying man had started from his bed and was approaching me This belief was at the same instant confuted by the survey of his form and garb One eye a scar upon his cheek a tawny skin a form grotesquely misproportioned brawny as Hercules and habited in livery composed as it were the parts of one view
To perceive to fear and to confront this apparition were blended into one sentiment I turned towards him with the swiftness of lightning but my speed was useless to my safety A blow upon my temple was succeeded by an utter oblivion of thought and of feeling I sunk upon the floor prostrate and senseless
My insensibility might be mistaken by observers for death yet some part of this interval was haunted by a fearful dream I conceived myself lying on the brink of a pit whose bottom the eye could not reach My hands and legs were fettered so as to disable me from resisting two grim and gigantic figures who stooped to lift me from the earth Their purpose methought was to cast me into this abyss My terrors were unspeakable and I struggled with such force that my bonds snapped and I found myself at liberty At this moment my senses returned and I opened my eyes
The memory of recent events was for a time effaced by my visionary horrors I was conscious of transition from one state of being to another but my imagination was still filled with images of danger The bottomless gulf and my gigantic persecutors were still dreaded I looked up with eagerness Beside me I discovered three figures whose character or office was explained by a coffin of pine boards which lay upon the floor One stood with hammer and nails in his hand as ready to replace and fasten the lid of the coffin as soon as its burden should be received
I attempted to rise from the floor but my head was dizzy and my sight confused Perceiving me revive one of the men assisted me to regain my feet The mist and confusion presently vanished so as to allow me to stand unsupported and to move I once more gazed at my attendants and recognised the three men whom I had met in High Street and whose conversation I have mentioned that I overheard I looked again upon the coffin A wavering recollection of the incidents that led me hither and of the stunning blow which I had received occurred to me I saw into what error appearances had misled these men and shuddered to reflect by what hairbreadth means I had escaped being buried alive
Before the men had time to interrogate me or to comment upon my situation one entered the apartment whose habit and mien tended to encourage me The stranger was characterized by an aspect full of composure and benignity a face in which the serious lines of age were blended with the ruddiness and smoothness of youth and a garb that bespoke that religious profession with whose benevolent doctrines the example of Hadwin had rendered me familiar
On observing me on my feet he betrayed marks of surprise and satisfaction He addressed me in a tone of mildness—
Young man said he what is thy condition Art thou sick If thou art thou must consent to receive the best treatment which the times will afford These men will convey thee to the hospital at Bush Hill
The mention of that contagious and abhorred receptacle inspired me with some degree of energy No said I I am not sick a violent blow reduced me to this situation I shall presently recover strength enough to leave this spot without assistance
He looked at me with an incredulous but compassionate air—I fear thou dost deceive thyself or me The necessity of going to the hospital is much to be regretted but on the whole it is best Perhaps indeed thou hast kindred or friends who will take care of thee
No said I neither kindred nor friends I am a stranger in the city I do not even know a single being
Alas returned the stranger with a sigh thy state is sorrowful But how camest thou hither continued he looking around him and whence comest thou
I came from the country I reached the city a few hours ago I was in search of a friend who lived in this house
Thy undertaking was strangely hazardous and rash but who is the friend thou seekest Was it he who died in that bed and whose corpse has just been removed
The men now betrayed some impatience and inquired of the last comer whom they called Mr Estwick what they were to do He turned to me and asked if I were willing to be conducted to the hospital
I assured him that I was free from disease and stood in no need of assistance adding that my feebleness was owing to a stunning blow received from a ruffian on my temple The marks of this blow were conspicuous and after some hesitation he dismissed the men who lifting the empty coffin on their shoulders disappeared
He now invited me to descend into the parlour for said he the air of this room is deadly I feel already as if I should have reason to repent of having entered it
He now inquired into the cause of those appearances which he had witnessed I explained my situation as clearly and succinctly as I was able
After pondering in silence on my story—I see how it is said he the person whom thou sawest in the agonies of death was a stranger He was attended by his servant and a hired nurse His masters death being certain the nurse was despatched by the servant to procure a coffin He probably chose that opportunity to rifle his masters trunk that stood upon the table Thy unseasonable entrance interrupted him and he designed by the blow which he gave thee to secure his retreat before the arrival of a hearse I know the man and the apparition thou hast so well described was his Thou sayest that a friend of thine lived in this house thou hast come too late to be of service The whole family have perished Not one was suffered to escape
This intelligence was fatal to my hopes It required some efforts to subdue my rising emotions Compassion not only for Wallace but for Thetford his father his wife and his child caused a passionate effusion of tears I was ashamed of this useless and childlike sensibility and attempted to apologize to my companion The sympathy however had proved contagious and the stranger turned away his face to hide his own tears
Nay said he in answer to my excuses there is no need to be ashamed of thy emotion Merely to have known this family and to have witnessed their deplorable fate is sufficient to melt the most obdurate heart I suspect that thou wast united to some one of this family by ties of tenderness like those which led the unfortunate Maravegli hither
This suggestion was attended in relation to myself with some degree of obscurity but my curiosity was somewhat excited by the name that he had mentioned I inquired into the character and situation of this person and particularly respecting his connection with this family
Maravegli answered he was the lover of the eldest daughter and already betrothed to her The whole family consisting of helpless females had placed themselves under his peculiar guardianship Mary Walpole and her children enjoyed in him a husband and a father
The name of Walpole to which I was a stranger suggested doubts which I hastened to communicate I am in search said I not of a female friend though not devoid of interest in the welfare of Thetford and his family My principal concern is for a youth by name Wallace
He looked at me with surprise Thetford this is not his abode He changed his habitation some weeks previous to the fever Those who last dwelt under this roof were an Englishwoman and seven daughters
This detection of my error somewhat consoled me It was still possible that Wallace was alive and in safety I eagerly inquired whither Thetford had removed and whether he had any knowledge of his present condition
They had removed to No— in Market Street Concerning their state he knew nothing His acquaintance with Thetford was imperfect Whether he had left the city or had remained he was wholly uninformed
It became me to ascertain the truth in these respects I was preparing to offer my parting thanks to the person by whom I had been so highly benefited since as he now informed me it was by his interposition that I was hindered from being enclosed alive in a coffin He was dubious of my true condition and peremptorily commanded the followers of the hearse to desist A delay of twenty minutes and some medical application would he believed determine whether my life was extinguished or suspended At the end of this time happily my senses were recovered
Seeing my intention to depart he inquired why and whither I was going Having heard my answer—Thy design resumed he is highly indiscreet and rash Nothing will sooner generate this fever than fatigue and anxiety Thou hast scarcely recovered from the blow so lately received Instead of being useful to others this precipitation will only disable thyself Instead of roaming the streets and inhaling this unwholesome air thou hadst better betake thyself to bed and try to obtain some sleep In the morning thou wilt be better qualified to ascertain the fate of thy friend and afford him the relief which he shall want
I could not but admit the reasonableness of these remonstrances but where should a chamber and bed be sought It was not likely that a new attempt to procure accommodation at the inns would succeed better than the former
Thy state replied he is sorrowful I have no house to which I can lead thee I divide my chamber and even my bed with another and my landlady could not be prevailed upon to admit a stranger What thou wilt do I know not This house has no one to defend it It was purchased and furnished by the last possessor but the whole family including mistress children and servants were cut off in a single week Perhaps no one in America can claim the property Meanwhile plunderers are numerous and active A house thus totally deserted and replenished with valuable furniture will I fear become their prey Tonight nothing can be done towards rendering it secure but staying in it Art thou willing to remain here till the morrow
Every bed in the house has probably sustained a dead person It would not be proper therefore to lie in any one of them Perhaps thou mayest find some repose upon this carpet It is at least better than the harder pavement and the open air
This proposal after some hesitation I embraced He was preparing to leave me promising if life were spared to him to return early in the morning My curiosity respecting the person whose dying agonies I had witnessed prompted me to detain him a few minutes
Ah said he this perhaps is the only one of many victims to this pestilence whose loss the remotest generations may have reason to deplore He was the only descendant of an illustrious house of Venice He has been devoted from his childhood to the acquisition of knowledge and the practice of virtue He came hither as an enlightened observer and after traversing the country conversing with all the men in it eminent for their talents or their office and collecting a fund of observations whose solidity and justice have seldom been paralleled he embarked three months ago for Europe
Previously to his departure he formed a tender connection with the eldest daughter of this family The mother and her children had recently arrived from England So many faultless women both mentally and personally considered it was not my fortune to meet with before This youth well deserved to be adopted into this family He proposed to return with the utmost expedition to his native country and after the settlement of his affairs to hasten back to America and ratify his contract with Fanny Walpole
The ship in which he embarked had scarcely gone twenty leagues to sea before she was disabled by a storm and obliged to return to port He posted to New York to gain a passage in a packet shortly to sail Meanwhile this malady prevailed among us Mary Walpole pole was hindered by her ignorance of the nature of that evil which assailed us and the counsel of injudicious friends from taking the due precautions for her safety She hesitated to fly till flight was rendered impracticable Her death added to the helplessness and distraction of the family They were successively seized and destroyed by the same pest
Maravegli was apprized of their danger He allowed the packet to depart without him and hastened to rescue the Walpoles from the perils which encompassed them He arrived in this city time enough to witness the interment of the last survivor In the same hour he was seized himself by this disease the catastrophe is known to thee
I will now leave thee to thy repose Sleep is no less needful to myself than to thee for this is the second night which has passed without it Saying this my companion took his leave
I now enjoyed leisure to review my situation I experienced no inclination to sleep I lay down for a moment but my comfortless sensations and restless contemplations would not permit me to rest Before I entered this house I was tormented with hunger but my craving had given place to inquietude and loathing I paced in thoughtful and anxious mood across the floor of the apartment
I mused upon the incidents related by Estwick upon the exterminating nature of this pestilence and on the horrors of which it was productive I compared the experience of the last hours with those pictures which my imagination had drawn in the retirements of Malverton I wondered at the contrariety that exists between the scenes of the city and the country and fostered with more zeal than ever the resolution to avoid those seats of depravity and danger
Concerning my own destiny however I entertained no doubt My new sensations assured me that my stomach had received this corrosive poison Whether I should die or live was easily decided The sickness which assiduous attendance and powerful prescriptions might remove would by negligence and solitude be rendered fatal but from whom could I expect medical or friendly treatment
I had indeed a roof over my head I should not perish in the public way but what was my ground for hoping to continue under this roof My sickness being suspected I should be dragged in a cart to the hospital where I should indeed die but not with the consolation of loneliness and silence Dying groans were the only music and livid corpses were the only spectacle to which I should there be introduced
Immured in these dreary meditations the night passed away The light glancing through the window awakened in my bosom a gleam of cheerfulness Contrary to my expectations my feelings were not more distempered notwithstanding my want of sleep than on the last evening This was a token that my state was far from being so desperate as I suspected It was possible I thought that this was the worst indisposition to which I was liable
Meanwhile the coming of Estwick was impatiently expected The sun arose and the morning advanced but he came not I remembered that he talked of having reason to repent his visit to this house Perhaps he likewise was sick and this was the cause of his delay This mans kindness had even my love If I had known the way to his dwelling I should have hastened thither to inquire into his condition and to perform for him every office that humanity might enjoin but he had not afforded me any information on that head
CHAPTER XVII
It was now incumbent on me to seek the habitation of Thetford To leave this house accessible to every passenger appeared to be imprudent I had no key by which I might lock the principal door I therefore bolted it on the inside and passed through a window the shutters of which I closed though I could not fasten after me This led me into a spacious court at the end of which was a brick wall over which I leaped into the street This was the means by which I had formerly escaped from the same precincts
The streets as I passed were desolate and silent The largest computation made the number of fugitives twothirds of the whole people yet judging by the universal desolation it seemed as if the solitude were nearly absolute That so many of the houses were closed I was obliged to ascribe to the cessation of traffic which made the opening of their windows useless and the terror of infection which made the inhabitants seclude themselves from the observation of each other
I proceeded to search out the house to which Estwick had directed me as the abode of Thetford What was my consternation when I found it to be the same at the door of which the conversation took place of which I had been an auditor on the last evening
I recalled the scene of which a rude sketch had been given by the hearsemen If such were the fate of the master of the family abounding with money and friends what could be hoped for the moneyless and friendless Wallace The house appeared to be vacant and silent but these tokens might deceive There was little room for hope but certainty was wanting and might perhaps be obtained by entering the house In some of the upper rooms a wretched being might be immured by whom the information so earnestly desired might be imparted and to whom my presence might bring relief not only from pestilence but famine For a moment I forgot my own necessitous condition and reflected not that abstinence had already undermined my strength
I proceeded to knock at the door That my signal was unnoticed produced no surprise The door was unlocked and I opened At this moment my attention was attracted by the opening of another door near me I looked and perceived a man issuing forth from a house at a small distance
It now occurred to me that the information which I sought might possibly be gained from one of Thetfords neighbours This person was aged but seemed to have lost neither cheerfulness nor vigour He had an air of intrepidity and calmness It soon appeared that I was the object of his curiosity He had probably marked my deportment through some window of his dwelling and had come forth to make inquiries into the motives of my conduct
He courteously saluted me You seem said he to be in search of some one If I can afford you the information you want you will be welcome to it
Encouraged by this address I mentioned the name of Thetford and added my fears that he had not escaped the general calamity
It is true said he Yesterday himself his wife and his child were in a hopeless condition I saw them in the evening and expected not to find them alive this morning As soon as it was light however I visited the house again but found it empty I suppose they must have died and been removed in the night
Though anxious to ascertain the destiny of Wallace I was unwilling to put direct questions I shuddered while I longed to know the truth
Why said I falteringly did he not seasonably withdraw from the city Surely he had the means of purchasing an asylum in the country
I can scarcely tell you he answered Some infatuation appeared to have seized him No one was more timorous but he seemed to think himself safe as long as he avoided contact with infected persons He was likewise I believe detained by a regard to his interest His flight would not have been more injurious to his affairs than it was to those of others but gain was in his eyes the supreme good He intended ultimately to withdraw but his escape today gave him new courage to encounter the perils of tomorrow He deferred his departure from day to day till it ceased to be practicable
His family said I was numerous It consisted of more than his wife and children Perhaps these retired in sufficient season
Yes said he his father left the house at an early period One or two of the servants likewise forsook him One girl more faithful and heroic than the rest resisted the remonstrances of her parents and friends and resolved to adhere to him in every fortune She was anxious that the family should fly from danger and would willingly have fled in their company but while they stayed it was her immovable resolution not to abandon them
Alas poor girl She knew not of what stuff the heart of Thetford was made Unhappily she was the first to become sick I question much whether her disease was pestilential It was probably a slight indisposition which in a few days would have vanished of itself or have readily yielded to suitable treatment
Thetford was transfixed with terror Instead of summoning a physician to ascertain the nature of her symptoms he called a negro and his cart from Bush Hill In vain the neighbours interceded for this unhappy victim In vain she implored his clemency and asserted the lightness of her indisposition She besought him to allow her to send to her mother who resided a few miles in the country who would hasten to her succour and relieve him and his family from the danger and trouble of nursing her
The man was lunatic with apprehension He rejected her entreaties though urged in a manner that would have subdued a heart of flint The girl was innocent and amiable and courageous but entertained an unconquerable dread of the hospital Finding entreaties ineffectual she exerted all her strength in opposition to the man who lifted her into the cart
Finding that her struggles availed nothing she resigned herself to despair In going to the hospital she believed herself led to certain death and to the sufferance of every evil which the known inhumanity of its attendants could inflict This state of mind added to exposure to a noonday sun in an open vehicle moving for a mile over a rugged pavement was sufficient to destroy her I was not surprised to hear that she died the next day
This proceeding was sufficiently iniquitous yet it was not the worst act of this man The rank and education of the young woman might be some apology for negligence but his clerk a youth who seemed to enjoy his confidence and to be treated by his family on the footing of a brother or son fell sick on the next night and was treated in the same manner
These tidings struck me to the heart A burst of indignation and sorrow filled my eyes I could scarcely stifle my emotions sufficiently to ask Of whom sir do you speak Was the name of the youth—his name—was——
His name was Wallace I see that you have some interest in his fate He was one whom I loved I would have given half my fortune to procure him accommodation under some hospitable roof His attack was violent but still his recovery if he had been suitably attended was possible That he should survive removal to the hospital and the treatment he must receive when there was not to be hoped
The conduct of Thetford was as absurd as it was wicked To imagine the disease to be contagious was the height of folly to suppose himself secure merely by not permitting a sick man to remain under his roof was no less stupid but Thetfords fears had subverted his understanding He did not listen to arguments or supplications His attention was incapable of straying from one object To influence him by words was equivalent to reasoning with the deaf
Perhaps the wretch was more to be pitied than hated The victims of his implacable caution could scarcely have endured agonies greater than those which his pusillanimity inflicted on himself Whatever be the amount of his guilt the retribution has been adequate He witnessed the death of his wife and child and last night was the close of his own existence Their sole attendant was a black woman whom by frequent visits I endeavoured with little success to make diligent in the performance of her duty
Such then was the catastrophe of Wallace The end for which I journeyed hither was accomplished His destiny was ascertained and all that remained was to fulfil the gloomy predictions of the lovely but unhappy Susan To tell them all the truth would be needlessly to exasperate her sorrow Time aided by the tenderness and sympathy of friendship may banish her despair and relieve her from all but the witcheries of melancholy
Having disengaged my mind from these reflections I explained to my companion in general terms my reasons for visiting the city and my curiosity respecting Thetford He inquired into the particulars of my journey and the time of my arrival When informed that I had come in the preceding evening and had passed the subsequent hours without sleep or food he expressed astonishment and compassion
Your undertaking said he has certainly been hazardous There is poison in every breath which you draw but this hazard has been greatly increased by abstaining from food and sleep My advice is to hasten back into the country but you must first take some repose and some victuals If you pass Schuylkill before nightfall it will be sufficient
I mentioned the difficulty of procuring accommodation on the road It would be most prudent to set out upon my journey so as to reach Malverton at night As to food and sleep they were not to be purchased in this city
True answered my companion with quickness they are not to be bought but I will furnish you with as much as you desire of both for nothing That is my abode continued he pointing to the house which he had lately left I reside with a widow lady and her daughter who took my counsel and fled in due season I remain to moralize upon the scene with only a faithful black who makes my bed prepares my coffee and bakes my loaf If I am sick all that a physician can do I will do for myself and all that a nurse can perform I expect to be performed by Austin
Come with me drink some coffee rest a while on my mattress and then fly with my benedictions on your head
These words were accompanied by features disembarrassed and benevolent My temper is alive to social impulses and I accepted his invitation not so much because I wished to eat or to sleep but because I felt reluctance to part so soon with a being who possessed so much fortitude and virtue
He was surrounded by neatness and plenty Austin added dexterity to submissiveness My companion whose name I now found to be Medlicote was prone to converse and commented on the state of the city like one whose reading had been extensive and experience large He combated an opinion which I had casually formed respecting the origin of this epidemic and imputed it not to infected substances imported from the East or West but to a morbid constitution of the atmosphere owing wholly or in part to filthy streets airless habitations and squalid persons
As I talked with this man the sense of danger was obliterated I felt confidence revive in my heart and energy revisit my stomach Though far from my wonted health my sensation grew less comfortless and I found myself to stand in no need of repose
Breakfast being finished my friend pleaded his daily engagements as reasons for leaving me He counselled me to strive for some repose but I was conscious of incapacity to sleep I was desirous of escaping as soon as possible from this tainted atmosphere and reflected whether any thing remained to be done respecting Wallace
It now occurred to me that this youth must have left some clothes and papers and perhaps books The property of these was now vested in the Hadwins I might deem myself without presumption their representative or agent Might I not take some measures for obtaining possession or at least for the security of these articles
The house and its furniture were tenantless and unprotected It was liable to be ransacked and pillaged by those desperate ruffians of whom many were said to be hunting for spoil even at a time like this If these should overlook this dwelling Thetfords unknown successor or heir might appropriate the whole Numberless accidents might happen to occasion the destruction or embezzlement of what belonged to Wallace which might be prevented by the conduct which I should now pursue
Immersed in these perplexities I remained bewildered and motionless I was at length roused by some one knocking at the door Austin obeyed the signal and instantly returned leading in—Mr Hadwin
I know not whether this unlookedfor interview excited on my part most grief or surprise The motive of his coming was easily divined His journey was on two accounts superfluous He whom he sought was dead The duty of ascertaining his condition I had assigned to myself
I now perceived and deplored the error of which I had been guilty in concealing my intended journey from my patron Ignorant of the part I had acted he had rushed into the jaws of this pest and endangered a life unspeakably valuable to his children and friends I should doubtless have obtained his grateful consent to the project which I had conceived but my wretched policy had led me into this clandestine path Secrecy may seldom be a crime A virtuous intention may produce it but surely it is always erroneous and pernicious
My friends astonishment at the sight of me was not inferior to my own The causes which led to this unexpected interview were mutually explained To soothe the agonies of his child he consented to approach the city and endeavour to procure intelligence of Wallace When he left his house he intended to stop in the environs and hire some emissary whom an ample reward might tempt to enter the city and procure the information which was needed
No one could be prevailed upon to execute so dangerous a service Averse to return without performing his commission he concluded to examine for himself Thetfords removal to this street was known to him but being ignorant of my purpose he had not mentioned this circumstance to me during our last conversation
I was sensible of the danger which Hadwin had incurred by entering the city Perhaps my knowledge of the inexpressible importance of his life to the happiness of his daughters made me aggravate his danger I knew that the longer he lingered in this tainted air the hazard was increased A moments delay was unnecessary Neither Wallace nor myself were capable of being benefited by his presence
I mentioned the death of his nephew as a reason for hastening his departure I urged him in the most vehement terms to remount his horse and to fly I endeavoured to preclude all inquiries respecting myself or Wallace promising to follow him immediately and answer all his questions at Malverton My importunities were enforced by his own fears and after a moments hesitation he rode away
The emotions produced by this incident were in the present critical state of my frame eminently hurtful My morbid indications suddenly returned I had reason to ascribe my condition to my visit to the chamber of Maravegli but this and its consequences to myself as well as the journey of Hadwin were the fruits of my unhappy secrecy
I had always been accustomed to perform my journeys on foot This on ordinary occasions was the preferable method but now I ought to have adopted the easiest and swiftest means If Hadwin had been acquainted with my purpose he would not only have approved but would have allowed me the use of a horse These reflections were rendered less pungent by the recollection that my motives were benevolent and that I had endeavoured the benefit of others by means which appeared to me most suitable
Meanwhile how was I to proceed What hindered me from pursuing the footsteps of Hadwin with all the expedition which my uneasiness of brain and stomach would allow I conceived that to leave any thing undone with regard to Wallace would be absurd His property might be put under the care of my new friend But how was it to be distinguished from the property of others It was probably contained in trunks which were designated by some label or mark I was unacquainted with his chamber but by passing from one to the other I might finally discover it Some token directing my footsteps might occur though at present unforeseen
Actuated by these considerations I once more entered Thetfords habitation I regretted that I had not procured the counsel or attendance of my new friend but some engagements the nature of which he did not explain occasioned him to leave me as soon as breakfast was finished
CHAPTER XVIII
I wandered over this deserted mansion in a considerable degree at random Effluvia of a pestilential nature assailed me from every corner In the front room of the second story I imagined that I discovered vestiges of that catastrophe which the past night had produced The bed appeared as if some one had recently been dragged from it The sheets were tinged with yellow and with that substance which is said to be characteristic of this disease the gangrenous or black vomit The floor exhibited similar stains
There are many who will regard my conduct as the last refinement of temerity or of heroism Nothing indeed more perplexes me than a review of my own conduct Not indeed that death is an object always to be dreaded or that my motive did not justify my actions but of all dangers those allied to pestilence by being mysterious and unseen are the most formidable To disarm them of their terrors requires the longest familiarity Nurses and physicians soonest become intrepid or indifferent but the rest of mankind recoil from the scene with unconquerable loathing
I was sustained not by confidence of safety and a belief of exemption from this malady or by the influence of habit which inures us to all that is detestable or perilous but by a belief that this was as eligible an avenue to death as any other and that life is a trivial sacrifice in the cause of duty
I passed from one room to the other A portmanteau marked with the initials of Wallaces name at length attracted my notice From this circumstance I inferred that this apartment had been occupied by him The room was neatly arranged and appeared as if no one had lately used it There were trunks and drawers That which I have mentioned was the only one that bore marks of Wallaces ownership This I lifted in my arms with a view to remove it to Medlicotes house
At that moment methought I heard a footstep slowly and lingeringly ascending the stair I was disconcerted at this incident The footstep had in it a ghostlike solemnity and tardiness This phantom vanished in a moment and yielded place to more humble conjectures A human being approached whose office and commission were inscrutable That we were strangers to each other was easily imagined but how would my appearance in this remote chamber and loaded with anothers property be interpreted Did he enter the house after me or was he the tenant of some chamber hitherto unvisited whom my entrance had awakened from his trance and called from his couch
In the confusion of my mind I still held my burden uplifted To have placed it on the floor and encountered this visitant without this equivocal token about me was the obvious proceeding Indeed time only could decide whether these footsteps tended to this or to some other apartment
My doubts were quickly dispelled The door opened and a figure glided in The portmanteau dropped from my arms and my hearts blood was chilled If an apparition of the dead were possible and that possibility I could not deny this was such an apparition A hue yellowish and livid bones uncovered with flesh eyes ghastly hollow woebegone and fixed in an agony of wonder upon me and locks matted and negligent constituted the image which I now beheld My belief of somewhat preternatural in this appearance was confirmed by recollection of resemblances between these features and those of one who was dead In this shape and visage shadowy and deathlike as they were the lineaments of Wallace of him who had misled my rustic simplicity on my first visit to this city and whose death I had conceived to be incontestably ascertained were forcibly recognised
This recognition which at first alarmed my superstition speedily led to more rational inferences Wallace had been dragged to the hospital Nothing was less to be suspected than that he would return alive from that hideous receptacle but this was by no means impossible The figure that stood before me had just risen from the bed of sickness and from the brink of the grave The crisis of his malady had passed and he was once more entitled to be ranked among the living
This event and the consequences which my imagination connected with it filled me with the liveliest joy I thought not of his ignorance of the causes of my satisfaction of the doubts to which the circumstances of our interview would give birth respecting the integrity of my purpose I forgot the artifices by which I had formerly been betrayed and the embarrassments which a meeting with the victim of his artifices would excite in him I thought only of the happiness which his recovery would confer upon his uncle and his cousins
I advanced towards him with an air of congratulation and offered him my hand He shrunk back and exclaimed in a feeble voice Who are you What business have you here
I am the friend of Wallace if he will allow me to be so I am a messenger from your uncle and cousins at Malverton I came to know the cause of your silence and to afford you any assistance in my power
He continued to regard me with an air of suspicion and doubt These I endeavoured to remove by explaining the motives that led me hither It was with difficulty that he seemed to credit my representations When thoroughly convinced of the truth of my assertions he inquired with great anxiety and tenderness concerning his relations and expressed his hope that they were ignorant of what had befallen him
I could not encourage his hopes I regretted my own precipitation in adopting the belief of his death This belief had been uttered with confidence and without stating my reasons for embracing it to Mr Hadwin These tidings would be borne to his daughters and their grief would be exasperated to a deplorable and perhaps to a fatal degree
There was but one method of repairing or eluding this mischief Intelligence ought to be conveyed to them of his recovery But where was the messenger to be found No ones attention could be found disengaged from his own concerns Those who were able or willing to leave the city had sufficient motives for departure in relation to themselves If vehicle or horse were procurable for money ought it not to be secured for the use of Wallace himself whose health required the easiest and speediest conveyance from this theatre of death
My companion was powerless in mind as in limbs He seemed unable to consult upon the means of escaping from the inconveniences by which he was surrounded As soon as sufficient strength was regained he had left the hospital To repair to Malverton was the measure which prudence obviously dictated but he was hopeless of effecting it The city was close at hand this was his usual home and hither his tottering and almost involuntary steps conducted him
He listened to my representations and counsels and acknowledged their propriety He put himself under my protection and guidance and promised to conform implicitly to my directions His strength had sufficed to bring him thus far but was now utterly exhausted The task of searching for a carriage and horse devolved upon me
In effecting this purpose I was obliged to rely upon my own ingenuity and diligence Wallace though so long a resident in the city knew not to whom I could apply or by whom carriages were let to hire My own reflections taught me that this accommodation was most likely to be furnished by innkeepers or that some of those might at least inform me of the best measures to be taken I resolved to set out immediately on this search Meanwhile Wallace was persuaded to take refuge in Medlicotes apartments and to make by the assistance of Austin the necessary preparation for his journey
The morning had now advanced The rays of a sultry sun had a sickening and enfeebling influence beyond any which I had ever experienced The drought of unusual duration had bereft the air and the earth of every particle of moisture The element which I breathed appeared to have stagnated into noxiousness and putrefaction I was astonished at observing the enormous diminution of my strength My brows were heavy my intellects benumbed my sinews enfeebled and my sensations universally unquiet
These prognostics were easily interpreted What I chiefly dreaded was that they would disable me from executing the task which I had undertaken I summoned up all my resolution and cherished a disdain of yielding to this ignoble destiny I reflected that the source of all energy and even of life is seated in thought that nothing is arduous to human efforts that the external frame will seldom languish while actuated by an unconquerable soul
I fought against my dreary feelings which pulled me to the earth I quickened my pace raised my drooping eyelids and hummed a cheerful and favourite air For all that I accomplished during this day I believe myself indebted to the strenuousness and ardour of my resolutions
I went from one tavern to another One was deserted in another the people were sick and their attendants refused to hearken to my inquiries or offers at a third their horses were engaged I was determined to prosecute my search as long as an inn or a liverystable remained unexamined and my strength would permit
To detail the events of this expedition the arguments and supplications which I used to overcome the dictates of avarice and fear the fluctuation of my hopes and my incessant disappointments would be useless Having exhausted all my expedients ineffectually I was compelled to turn my weary steps once more to Medlicotes lodgings
My meditations were deeply engaged by the present circumstances of my situation Since the means which were first suggested were impracticable I endeavoured to investigate others Wallaces debility made it impossible for him to perform this journey on foot but would not his strength and his resolution suffice to carry him beyond Schuylkill A carriage or horse though not to be obtained in the city could without difficulty be procured in the country Every farmer had beasts for burden and draught One of these might be hired at no immoderate expense for half a day
This project appeared so practicable and so specious that I deeply regretted the time and the efforts which had already been so fruitlessly expended If my project however had been mischievous to review it with regret was only to prolong and to multiply its mischiefs I trusted that time and strength would not be wanting to the execution of this new design
On entering Medlicotes house my looks which in spite of my languors were sprightly and confident flattered Wallace with the belief that my exertions had succeeded When acquainted with their failure he sunk as quickly into hopelessness My new expedient was heard by him with no marks of satisfaction It was impossible he said to move from this spot by his own strength All his powers were exhausted by his walk from Bush Hill
I endeavoured by arguments and railleries to revive his courage The pure air of the country would exhilarate him into new life He might stop at every fifty yards and rest upon the green sod If overtaken by the night we would procure a lodging by address and importunity but if every door should be shut against us we should at least enjoy the shelter of some barn and might diet wholesomely upon the newlaid eggs that we should find there The worst treatment we could meet with was better than continuance in the city
These remonstrances had some influence and he at length consented to put his ability to the test First however it was necessary to invigorate himself by a few hours rest To this though with infinite reluctance I consented
This interval allowed him to reflect upon the past and to inquire into the fate of Thetford and his family The intelligence which Medlicote had enabled me to afford him was heard with more satisfaction than regret The ingratitude and cruelty with which he had been treated seemed to have extinguished every sentiment but hatred and vengeance I was willing to profit by this interval to know more of Thetford than I already possessed I inquired why Wallace had so perversely neglected the advice of his uncle and cousin and persisted to brave so many dangers when flight was so easy
I cannot justify my conduct answered he It was in the highest degree thoughtless and perverse I was confident and unconcerned as long as our neighbourhood was free from disease and as long as I forbore any communication with the sick yet I should have withdrawn to Malverton merely to gratify my friends if Thetford had not used the most powerful arguments to detain me He laboured to extenuate the danger
Why not stay said he as long as I and my family stay Do you think that we would linger here if the danger were imminent As soon as it becomes so we will fly You know that we have a countryhouse prepared for our reception When we go you shall accompany us Your services at this time are indispensable to my affairs If you will not desert me your salary next year shall be double and that will enable you to marry your cousin immediately Nothing is more improbable than that any of us should be sick but if this should happen to you I plight my honour that you shall be carefully and faithfully attended
These assurances were solemn and generous To make Susan Hadwin my wife was the scope of all my wishes and labours By staying I should hasten this desirable event and incur little hazard By going I should alienate the affections of Thetford by whom it is but justice to acknowledge that I had hitherto been treated with unexampled generosity and kindness and blast all the schemes I had formed for rising into wealth
My resolution was by no means steadfast As often as a letter from Malverton arrived I felt myself disposed to hasten away but this inclination was combated by new arguments and new entreaties of Thetford
In this state of suspense the girl by whom Mrs Thetfords infant was nursed fell sick She was an excellent creature and merited better treatment than she received Like me she resisted the persuasions of her friends but her motives for remaining were disinterested and heroic
No sooner did her indisposition appear than she was hurried to the hospital I saw that no reliance could be placed upon the assurances of Thetford Every consideration gave way to his fear of death After the girls departure though he knew that she was led by his means to execution yet he consoled himself by repeating and believing her assertions that her disease was not the fever
I was now greatly alarmed for my own safety I was determined to encounter his anger and repel his persuasions and to depart with the marketman next morning That night however I was seized with a violent fever I knew in what manner patients were treated at the hospital and removal thither was to the last degree abhorred
The morning arrived and my situation was discovered At the first intimation Thetford rushed out of the house and refused to reenter it till I was removed I knew not my fate till three ruffians made their appearance at my bedside and communicated their commission
I called on the name of Thetford and his wife I entreated a moments delay till I had seen these persons and endeavoured to procure a respite from my sentence They were deaf to my entreaties and prepared to execute their office by force I was delirious with rage and terror I heaped the bitterest execrations on my murderer and by turns invoked the compassion of and poured a torrent of reproaches on the wretches whom he had selected for his ministers My struggles and outcries were vain
I have no perfect recollection of what passed till my arrival at the hospital My passions combined with my disease to make me frantic and wild In a state like mine the slightest motion could not be endured without agony What then must I have felt scorched and dazzled by the sun sustained by hard boards and borne for miles over a rugged pavement
I cannot make you comprehend the anguish of my feelings To be disjointed and torn piecemeal by the rack was a torment inexpressibly inferior to this Nothing excites my wonder but that I did not expire before the cart had moved three paces
I knew not how or by whom I was moved from this vehicle Insensibility came at length to my relief After a time I opened my eyes and slowly gained some knowledge of my situation I lay upon a mattress whose condition proved that a halfdecayed corpse had recently been dragged from it The room was large but it was covered with beds like my own Between each there was scarcely the interval of three feet Each sustained a wretch whose groans and distortions bespoke the desperateness of his condition
The atmosphere was loaded by mortal stenches A vapour suffocating and malignant scarcely allowed me to breathe No suitable receptacle was provided for the evacuations produced by medicine or disease My nearest neighbour was struggling with death and my bed casually extended was moist with the detestable matter which had flowed from his stomach
You will scarcely believe that in this scene of horrors the sound of laughter should be overheard While the upper rooms of this building are filled with the sick and the dying the lower apartments are the scene of carousals and mirth The wretches who are hired at enormous wages to tend the sick and convey away the dead neglect their duty and consume the cordials which are provided for the patients in debauchery and riot
A female visage bloated with malignity and drunkenness occasionally looked in Dying eyes were cast upon her invoking the boon perhaps of a drop of cold water or her assistance to change a posture which compelled him to behold the ghastly writhings or deathful smile of his neighbour
The visitant had left the banquet for a moment only to see who was dead If she entered the room blinking eyes and reeling steps showed her to be totally unqualified for ministering the aid that was needed Presently she disappeared and others ascended the staircase a coffin was deposited at the door the wretch whose heart still quivered was seized by rude hands and dragged along the floor into the passage
Oh how poor are the conceptions which are formed by the fortunate few of the sufferings to which millions of their fellowbeings are condemned This misery was more frightful because it was seen to flow from the depravity of the attendants My own eyes only would make me credit the existence of wickedness so enormous No wonder that to die in garrets and cellars and stables unvisited and unknown had by so many been preferred to being brought hither
A physician cast an eye upon my state He gave some directions to the person who attended him I did not comprehend them they were never executed by the nurses and if the attempt had been made I should probably have refused to receive what was offered Recovery was equally beyond my expectations and my wishes The scene which was hourly displayed before me the entrance of the sick most of whom perished in a few hours and their departure to the graves prepared for them reminded me of the fate to which I also was reserved
Three days passed away in which every hour was expected to be the last That amidst an atmosphere so contagious and deadly amidst causes of destruction hourly accumulating I should yet survive appears to me nothing less than miraculous That of so many conducted to this house the only one who passed out of it alive should be myself almost surpasses my belief
Some inexplicable principle rendered harmless those potent enemies of human life My fever subsided and vanished My strength was revived and the first use that I made of my limbs was to bear me far from the contemplation and sufferance of those evils
CHAPTER XIX
Having gratified my curiosity in this respect Wallace proceeded to remind me of the circumstances of our first interview He had entertained doubts whether I was the person whom he had met at Leshers I acknowledged myself to be the same and inquired in my turn into the motives of his conduct on that occasion
I confess said he with some hesitation I meant only to sport with your simplicity and ignorance You must not imagine however that my stratagem was deeplaid and deliberately executed My professions at the tavern were sincere I meant not to injure but to serve you It was not till I reached the head of the staircase that the mischievous contrivance occurred I foresaw nothings at the moment but ludicrous mistakes and embarrassment The scheme was executed almost at the very moment it occurred
After I had returned to the parlour Thetford charged me with the delivery of a message in a distant quarter of the city It was not till I had performed this commission and had set out on my return that I fully revolved the consequences likely to flow from my project
That Thetford and his wife would detect you in their bedchamber was unquestionable Perhaps weary of my long delay you would have fairly undressed and gone to bed The married couple would have made preparation to follow you and when the curtain was undrawn would discover a robust youth fast asleep in their place These images which had just before excited my laughter now produced a very different emotion I dreaded some fatal catastrophe from the fiery passions of Thetford In the first transports of his fury he might pistol you or at least might command you to be dragged to prison
I now heartily repented of my jest and hastened home that I might prevent as far as possible the evil effects that might flow from it The acknowledgment of my own agency in this affair would at least transfer Thetfords indignation to myself to whom it was equitably due
The married couple had retired to their chamber and no alarm or confusion had followed This was an inexplicable circumstance I waited with impatience till the morning should furnish a solution of the difficulty The morning arrived A strange event had indeed taken place in their bedchamber They found an infant asleep in their bed Thetford had been roused twice in the night once by a noise in the closet and afterwards by a noise at the door
Some connection between these sounds and the foundling was naturally suspected In the morning the closet was examined and a coarse pair of shoes was found on the floor The chamber door which Thetford had locked in the evening was discovered to be open as likewise a window in the kitchen
These appearances were a source of wonder and doubt to others but were perfectly intelligible to me I rejoiced that my stratagem had no more dangerous consequence and admired the ingenuity and perseverance with which you had extricated yourself from so critical a state
This narrative was only the verification of my own guesses Its facts were quickly supplanted in my thoughts by the disastrous picture he had drawn of the state of the hospital I was confounded and shocked by the magnitude of this evil The cause of it was obvious The wretches whom money could purchase were of course licentious and unprincipled Superintended and controlled they might be useful instruments but that superintendence could not be bought
What qualities were requisite in the governor of such an institution He must have zeal diligence and perseverance He must act from lofty and pure motives He must be mild and firm intrepid and compliant One perfectly qualified for the office it is desirable but not possible to find A dispassionate and honest zeal in the cause of duty and humanity may be of eminent utility Am I not endowed with this zeal Cannot my feeble efforts obviate some portion of this evil
No one has hitherto claimed this disgustful and perilous situation My powers and discernment are small but if they be honestly exerted they cannot fail to be somewhat beneficial
The impulse produced by these reflections was to hasten to the City Hall and make known my wishes This impulse was controlled by recollections of my own indisposition and of the state of Wallace To deliver this youth to his friends was the strongest obligation When this was discharged I might return to the city and acquit myself of more comprehensive duties
Wallace had now enjoyed a few hours rest and was persuaded to begin the journey It was now noonday and the sun darted insupportable rays Wallace was more sensible than I of their unwholesome influence We had not reached the suburbs when his strength was wholly exhausted and had I not supported him he would have sunk upon the pavement
My limbs were scarcely less weak but my resolutions were much more strenuous than his I made light of his indisposition and endeavoured to persuade him that his vigour would return in proportion to his distance from the city The moment we should reach a shade a short respite would restore us to health and cheerfulness
Nothing could revive his courage or induce him to go on To return or to proceed was equally impracticable But should he be able to return where should he find a retreat The danger of relapse was imminent his own chamber at Thetfords was unoccupied If he could regain this house might I not procure him a physician and perform for him the part of nurse
His present situation was critical and mournful To remain in the street exposed to the malignant fervours of the sun was not to be endured To carry him in my arms exceeded my strength Should I not claim the assistance of the first passenger that appeared
At that moment a horse and chaise passed us The vehicle proceeded at a quick pace He that rode in it might afford us the succour that we needed He might be persuaded to deviate from his course and convey the helpless Wallace to the house we had just left
This thought instantly impelled me forward Feeble as I was I even ran with speed in order to overtake the vehicle My purpose was effected with the utmost difficulty It fortunately happened that the carriage contained but one person who stopped at my request His countenance and guise was mild and encouraging
Good friend I exclaimed here is a young man too indisposed to walk I want him carried to his lodgings Will you for money or for charity allow him a place in your chaise and set him down where I shall direct Observing tokens of hesitation I continued You need have no fears to perform this office He is not sick but merely feeble I will not ask twenty minutes and you may ask what reward you think proper
Still he hesitated to comply His business he said had not led him into the city He merely passed along the skirts of it whence he conceived that no danger would arise He was desirous of helping the unfortunate but he could not think of risking his own life in the cause of a stranger when he had a wife and children depending on his existence and exertions for bread It gave him pain to refuse but he thought his duty to himself and to others required that he should not hazard his safety by compliance
This plea was irresistible The mildness of his manner showed that he might have been overpowered by persuasion or tempted by reward I would not take advantage of his tractability but should have declined his assistance even if it had been spontaneously offered I turned away from him in silence and prepared to return to the spot where I had left my friend The man prepared to resume his way
In this perplexity the thought occurred to me that since this person was going into the country he might possibly consent to carry Wallace along with him I confided greatly in the salutary influence of rural airs I believed that debility constituted the whole of his complaint that continuance in the city might occasion his relapse or at least procrastinate his restoration
I once more addressed myself to the traveller and inquired in what direction and how far he was going To my unspeakable satisfaction his answer informed me that his home lay beyond Mr Hadwins and that this road carried him directly past that gentlemans door He was willing to receive Wallace into his chaise and to leave him at his uncles
This joyous and auspicious occurrence surpassed my fondest hopes I hurried with the pleasing tidings to Wallace who eagerly consented to enter the carriage I thought not at the moment of myself or how far the same means of escaping from my danger might be used The stranger could not be anxious on my account and Wallaces dejection and weakness may apologize for his not soliciting my company or expressing his fears for my safety He was no sooner seated than the traveller hurried away I gazed after them motionless and mute till the carriage turning a corner passed beyond my sight
I had now leisure to revert to my own condition and to ruminate on that series of abrupt and diversified events that had happened during the few hours which had been passed in the city the end of my coming was thus speedily and satisfactorily accomplished My hopes and fears had rapidly fluctuated but respecting this young man had now subsided into calm and propitious certainty Before the decline of the sun he would enter his paternal roof and diffuse ineffable joy throughout that peaceful and chaste asylum
This contemplation though rapturous and soothing speedily gave way to reflections on the conduct which my duty required and the safe departure of Wallace afforded me liberty to pursue To offer myself as a superintendent of the hospital was still my purpose The languors of my frame might terminate in sickness but this event it was useless to anticipate The lofty site and pure airs of Bush Hill might tend to dissipate my languors and restore me to health At least while I had power I was bound to exert it to the wisest purposes I resolved to seek the City Hall immediately and for that end crossed the intermediate fields which separated Sassafras from Chestnut Street
More urgent considerations had diverted my attention from the money which I bore about me and from the image of the desolate lady to whom it belonged My intentions with regard to her were the same as ever but now it occurred to me with new force that my death might preclude an interview between us and that it was prudent to dispose in some useful way of the money which would otherwise be left to the sport of chance
The evils which had befallen this city were obvious and enormous Hunger and negligence had exasperated the malignity and facilitated the progress of the pestilence Could this money be more usefully employed than in alleviating these evils During my life I had no power over it but my death would justify me in prescribing the course which it should take
How was this course to be pointed out How might I place it so that I should effect my intentions without relinquishing the possession during my life
These thoughts were superseded by a tide of new sensations The weight that incommoded my brows and my stomach was suddenly increased My brain was usurped by some benumbing power and my limbs refused to support me My pulsations were quickened and the prevalence of fever could no longer be doubted
Till now I had entertained a faint hope that my indisposition would vanish of itself This hope was at an end The grave was before me and my projects of curiosity or benevolence were to sink into oblivion I was not bereaved of the powers of reflection The consequences of lying in the road friendless and unprotected were sure The first passenger would notice me and hasten to summon one of those carriages which are busy night and day in transporting its victims to the hospital
This fate was beyond all others abhorrent to my imagination To hide me under some roof where my existence would be unknown and unsuspected and where I might perish unmolested and in quiet was my present wish Thetfords or Medlicotes might afford me such an asylum if it were possible to reach it
I made the most strenuous exertions but they could not carry me forward more than a hundred paces Here I rested on steps which on looking up I perceived to belong to Welbecks house
This incident was unexpected It led my reflections into a new train To go farther in the present condition of my frame was impossible I was well acquainted with this dwelling All its avenues were closed Whether it had remained unoccupied since my flight from it I could not decide It was evident that at present it was without inhabitants Possibly it might have continued in the same condition in which Welbeck had left it Beds or sofas might be found on which a sick man might rest and be fearless of intrusion
This inference was quickly overturned by the obvious supposition that every avenue was bolted and locked This however might not be the condition of the bathhouse in which there was nothing that required to be guarded with unusual precautions I was suffocated by inward and scorched by external heat and the relief of bathing and drinking appeared inestimable
The value of this prize in addition to my desire to avoid the observation of passengers made me exert all my remnant of strength Repeated efforts at length enabled me to mount the wall and placed me as I imagined in security I swallowed large draughts of water as soon as I could reach the well
The effect was for a time salutary and delicious My fervours were abated and my faculties relieved from the weight which had lately oppressed them My present condition was unspeakably more advantageous than the former I did not believe that it could be improved till casting my eye vaguely over the building I happened to observe the shutters of a lower window partly opened
Whether this was occasioned by design or by accident there was no means of deciding Perhaps in the precipitation of the latest possessor this window had been overlooked Perhaps it had been unclosed by violence and afforded entrance to a robber By what means soever it had happened it undoubtedly afforded ingress to me I felt no scruple in profiting by this circumstance My purposes were not dishonest I should not injure or purloin any thing It was laudable to seek a refuge from the wellmeant persecutions of those who governed the city All I sought was the privilege of dying alone
Having gotten in at the window I could not but remark that the furniture and its arrangements had undergone no alteration in my absence I moved softly from one apartment to another till at length I entered that which had formerly been Welbecks bedchamber
The bed was naked of covering The cabinets and closets exhibited their fastenings broken Their contents were gone Whether these appearances had been produced by midnight robbers or by the ministers of law and the rage of the creditors of Welbeck was a topic of fruitless conjecture
My design was now effected This chamber should be the scene of my disease and my refuge from the charitable cruelty of my neighbours My new sensations conjured up the hope that my indisposition might prove a temporary evil Instead of pestilential or malignant fever it might be a harmless intermittent Time would ascertain its true nature meanwhile I would turn the carpet into a coverlet supply my pitcher with water and administer without sparing and without fear that remedy which was placed within my reach
CHAPTER XX
I laid myself on the bed and wrapped my limbs in the folds of the carpet My thoughts were restless and perturbed I was once more busy in reflecting on the conduct which I ought to pursue with regard to the bankbills I weighed with scrupulous attention every circumstance that might influence my decision I could not conceive any more beneficial application of this property than to the service of the indigent at this season of multiplied distress but I considered that if my death were unknown the house would not be opened or examined till the pestilence had ceased and the benefits of this application would thus be partly or wholly precluded
This season of disease however would give place to a season of scarcity The number and wants of the poor during the ensuing winter would be deplorably aggravated What multitudes might be rescued from famine and nakedness by the judicious application of this sum
But how should I secure this application To enclose the bills in a letter directed to some eminent citizen or public officer was the obvious proceeding Both of these conditions were fulfilled in the person of the present chiefmagistrate To him therefore the packet was to be sent
Paper and the implements of writing were necessary for this end Would they be found I asked in the upper room If that apartment like the rest which I had seen and its furniture had remained untouched my task would be practicable but if the means of writing were not to be immediately procured my purpose momentous and dear as it was must be relinquished
The truth in this respect was easily and ought immediately to be ascertained I rose from the bed which I had lately taken and proceeded to the study The entries and staircases were illuminated by a pretty strong twilight The rooms in consequence of every ray being excluded by the closed shutters were nearly as dark as if it had been midnight The rooms into which I had already passed were locked but its key was in each lock I flattered myself that the entrance into the study would be found in the same condition The door was shut but no key was to be seen My hopes were considerably damped by this appearance but I conceived it to be still possible to enter since by chance or by design the door might be unlocked
My fingers touched the lock when a sound was heard as if a bolt appending to the door on the inside had been drawn I was startled by this incident It betokened that the room was already occupied by some other who desired to exclude a visitor The unbarred shutter below was remembered and associated itself with this circumstance That this house should be entered by the same avenue at the same time and this room should be sought by two persons was a mysterious concurrence
I began to question whether I had heard distinctly Numberless inexplicable noises are apt to assail the ear in an empty dwelling The very echoes of our steps are unwonted and new This perhaps was some such sound Resuming courage I once more applied to the lock The door in spite of my repeated efforts would not open
My design was too momentous to be readily relinquished My curiosity and my fears likewise were awakened The marks of violence which I had seen on the closets and cabinets below seemed to indicate the presence of plunderers Here was one who laboured for seclusion and concealment
The pillage was not made upon my property My weakness would disable me from encountering or mastering a man of violence To solicit admission into this room would be useless To attempt to force my way would be absurd These reflections prompted me to withdraw from the door but the uncertainty of the conclusions I had drawn and the importance of gaining access to this apartment combined to check my steps
Perplexed as to the means I should employ I once more tried the lock The attempt was fruitless as the former Though hopeless of any information to be gained by that means I put my eye to the keyhole I discovered a light different from what was usually met with at this hour It was not the twilight which the sun imperfectly excluded produces but gleams as from a lamp yet its gleams were fainter and obscurer than a lamp generally imparts
Was this a confirmation of my first conjecture Lamplight at noonday in a mansion thus deserted and in a room which had been the scene of memorable and disastrous events was ominous Hitherto no direct proof had been given of the presence of a human being How to ascertain his presence or whether it were eligible by any means to ascertain it were points on which I had not deliberated
I had no power to deliberate My curiosity impelled me to call—Is there any one within Speak
These words were scarcely uttered when some one exclaimed in a voice vehement but halfsmothered Good God—
A deep pause succeeded I waited for an answer for somewhat to which this emphatic invocation might be a prelude Whether the tones were expressive of surprise or pain or grief was for a moment dubious Perhaps the motives which led me to this house suggested the suspicion which presently succeeded to my doubts—that the person within was disabled by sickness The circumstances of my own condition took away the improbability from this belief Why might not another be induced like me to hide himself in this desolate retreat Might not a servant left to take care of the house a measure usually adopted by the opulent at this time be seized by the reigning malady Incapacitated for exertion or fearing to be dragged to the hospital he has shut himself in this apartment The robber it may be who came to pillage was overtaken and detained by disease In either case detection or intrusion would be hateful and would be assiduously eluded
These thoughts had no tendency to weaken or divert my efforts to obtain access to this room The person was a brother in calamity whom it was my duty to succour and cherish to the utmost of my power Once more I spoke—
Who is within I beseech you answer me Whatever you be I desire to do you good and not injury Open the door and let me know your condition I will try to be of use to you
I was answered by a deep groan and by a sob counteracted and devoured as it were by a mighty effort This token of distress thrilled to my heart My terrors wholly disappeared and gave place to unlimited compassion I again entreated to be admitted promising all the succour or consolation which my situation allowed me to afford
Answers were made in tones of anger and impatience blended with those of grief—I want no succour vex me not with your entreaties and offers Fly from this spot linger not a moment lest you participate my destiny and rush upon your death
These I considered merely as the effusions of delirium or the dictates of despair The style and articulation denoted the speaker to be superior to the class of servants Hence my anxiety to see and to aid him was increased My remonstrances were sternly and pertinaciously repelled For a time incoherent and impassioned exclamations flowed from him At length I was only permitted to hear strong aspirations and sobs more eloquent and more indicative of grief than any language
This deportment filled me with no less wonder than commiseration By what views this person was led hither by what motives induced to deny himself to my entreaties was wholly incomprehensible Again though hopeless of success I repeated my request to be admitted
My perseverance seemed now to have exhausted all his patience and he exclaimed in a voice of thunder Arthur Mervyn Begone Linger but a moment and my rage tigerlike will rush upon you and rend you limb from limb
This address petrified me The voice that uttered this sanguinary menace was strange to my ears It suggested no suspicion of ever having heard it before Yet my accents had betrayed me to him He was familiar with my name Notwithstanding the improbability of my entrance into this dwelling I was clearly recognized and unhesitatingly named
My curiosity and compassion were in no wise diminished but I found myself compelled to give up my purpose I withdrew reluctantly from the door and once more threw myself upon my bed Nothing was more necessary in the present condition of my frame than sleep and sleep had perhaps been possible if the scene around me had been less pregnant with causes of wonder and panic
Once more I tasked memory in order to discover in the persons with whom I had hitherto conversed some resemblance in voice or tones to him whom I had just heard This process was effectual Gradually my imagination called up an image which now that it was clearly seen I was astonished had not instantly occurred Three years ago a man by name Colvill came on foot and with a knapsack on his back into the district where my father resided He had learning and genius and readily obtained the station for which only he deemed himself qualified that of a schoolmaster
His demeanour was gentle and modest his habits as to sleep food and exercise abstemious and regular Meditation in the forest or reading in his closet seemed to constitute together with attention to his scholars his sole amusement and employment He estranged himself from company not because society afforded no pleasure but because studious seclusion afforded him chief satisfaction
No one was more idolized by his unsuspecting neighbours His scholars revered him as a father and made under his tuition a remarkable proficiency His character seemed open to boundless inspection and his conduct was pronounced by all to be faultless
At the end of a year the scene was changed A daughter of one of his patrons young artless and beautiful appeared to have fallen a prey to the arts of some detestable seducer The betrayer was gradually detected and successive discoveries showed that the same artifices had been practised with the same success upon many others Colvill was the archvillain He retired from the storm of vengeance that was gathering over him and had not been heard of since that period
I saw him rarely and for a short time and I was a mere boy Hence the failure to recollect his voice and to perceive that the voice of him immured in the room above was the same with that of Colvill Though I had slight reasons for recognising his features or accents I had abundant cause to think of him with detestation and pursue him with implacable revenge for the victim of his acts she whose ruin was first detected was—my sister
This unhappy girl escaped from the upbraidings of her parents from the contumelies of the world from the goadings of remorse and the anguish flowing from the perfidy and desertion of Colvill in a voluntary death She was innocent and lovely Previous to this evil my soul was linked with hers by a thousand resemblances and sympathies as well as by perpetual intercourse from infancy and by the fraternal relation She was my sister my preceptress and friend but she died—her end was violent untimely and criminal I cannot think of her without heartbursting grief of her destroyer without a rancour which I know to be wrong but which I cannot subdue
When the image of Colvill rushed upon this occasion on my thought I almost started on my feet To meet him after so long a separation here and in these circumstances was so unlookedfor and abrupt an event and revived a tribe of such hateful impulses and agonizing recollections that a total revolution seemed to have been effected in my frame His recognition of my person his aversion to be seen his ejaculation of terror and surprise on first hearing my voice all contributed to strengthen my belief
How was I to act My feeble frame could but ill second my vengeful purposes but vengeance though it sometimes occupied my thoughts was hindered by my reason from leading me in any instance to outrage or even to upbraiding
All my wishes with regard to this man were limited to expelling his image from my memory and to shunning a meeting with him That he had not opened the door at my bidding was now a topic of joy To look upon some bottomless pit into which I was about to be cast headlong and alive was less to be abhorred than to look upon the face of Colvill Had I known that he had taken refuge in this house no power should have compelled me to enter it To be immersed in the infection of the hospital and to be hurried yet breathing and observant to my grave was a more supportable fate
I dwell with selfcondemnation and shame upon this part of my story To feel extraordinary indignation at vice merely because we have partaken in an extraordinary degree of its mischiefs is unjustifiable To regard the wicked with no emotion but pity to be active in reclaiming them in controlling their malevolence and preventing or repairing the ills which they produce is the only province of duty This lesson as well as a thousand others I have yet to learn but I despair of living long enough for that or any beneficial purpose
My emotions with regard to Colvill were erroneous but omnipotent I started from my bed and prepared to rush into the street I was careless of the lot that should befall me since no fate could be worse than that of abiding under the same roof with a wretch spotted with so many crimes
I had not set my feet upon the floor before my precipitation was checked by a sound from above The door of the study was cautiously and slowly opened This incident admitted only of one construction supposing all obstructions removed Colvill was creeping from his hidingplace and would probably fly with speed from the house My belief of his sickness was now confuted An illicit design was congenial with his character and congruous with those appearances already observed
I had no power or wish to obstruct his flight I thought of it with transport and once more threw myself upon the bed and wrapped my averted face in the carpet He would probably pass this door unobservant of me and my muffled face would save me from the agonies connected with the sight of him
The footsteps above were distinguishable though it was manifest that they moved with lightsomeness and circumspection They reached the stair and descended The room in which I lay was like the rest obscured by the closed shutters This obscurity now gave way to a light resembling that glimmering and pale reflection which I had noticed in the study My eyes though averted from the door were disengaged from the folds which covered the rest of my head and observed these tokens of Colvills approach flitting on the wall
My feverish perturbations increased as he drew nearer He reached the door and stopped The light rested for a moment Presently he entered the apartment My emotions suddenly rose to a height that would not be controlled I imagined that he approached the bed and was gazing upon me At the same moment by an involuntary impulse I threw off my covering and turning my face fixed my eyes upon my visitant
It was as I suspected The figure lifting in his right hand a candle and gazing at the bed with lineaments and attitude bespeaking fearful expectation and tormenting doubts was now beheld One glance communicated to my senses all the parts of this terrific vision A sinking at my heart as if it had been penetrated by a dagger seized me This was not enough I uttered a shriek too rueful and loud not to have startled the attention of the passengers if any had at that moment been passing the street
Heaven seemed to have decreed that this period should be filled with trials of my equanimity and fortitude The test of my courage was once more employed to cover me with humiliation and remorse This second time my fancy conjured up a spectre and I shuddered as if the grave were forsaken and the unquiet dead haunted my pillow
The visage and the shape had indeed preternatural attitudes but they belonged not to Colvill but to—Welbeck
CHAPTER XXI
He whom I had accompanied to the midst of the river whom I had imagined that I saw sink to rise no more was now before me Though incapable of precluding the groundless belief of preternatural visitations I was able to banish the phantom almost at the same instant at which it appeared Welbeck had escaped from the stream alive or had by some inconceivable means been restored to life
The first was the most plausible conclusion It instantly engendered a suspicion that his plunging into the water was an artifice intended to establish a belief of his death His own tale had shown him to be versed in frauds and flexible to evil But was he not associated with Colvill and what but a compact in iniquity could bind together such men
While thus musing Welbecks countenance and gesture displayed emotions too vehement for speech The glances that he fixed upon me were unsteadfast and wild He walked along the floor stopping at each moment and darting looks of eagerness upon me A conflict of passions kept him mute At length advancing to the bed on the side of which I was now sitting he addressed me—
What is this Are you here In defiance of pestilence are you actuated by some demon to haunt me like the ghost of my offences and cover me with shame What have I to do with that dauntless yet guiltless front With that foolishlyconfiding and obsequious yet erect and unconquerable spirit Is there no means of evading your pursuit Must I dip my hands a second time in blood and dig for you a grave by the side of Watson
These words were listened to with calmness I suspected and pitied the man but I did not fear him His words and his looks were indicative less of cruelty than madness I looked at him with an air compassionate and wistful I spoke with mildness and composure—
Mr Welbeck you are unfortunate and criminal Would to God I could restore you to happiness and virtue but though my desire be strong I have no power to change your habits or rescue you from misery
I believed you to be dead I rejoice to find myself mistaken While you live there is room to hope that your errors will be cured and the turmoils and inquietudes that have hitherto beset your guilty progress will vanish by your reverting into better paths
From me you have nothing to fear If your welfare will be promoted by my silence on the subject of your history my silence shall be inviolate I deem not lightly of my promises They are given and shall not be recalled
This meeting was casual Since I believed you to be dead it could not be otherwise You err if you suppose that any injury will accrue to you from my life but you need not discard that error Since my death is coming I am not averse to your adopting the belief that the event is fortunate to you
Death is the inevitable and universal lot When or how it comes is of little moment To stand when so many thousands are falling around me is not to be expected I have acted an humble and obscure part in the world and my career has been short but I murmur not at the decree that makes it so
The pestilence is now upon me The chances of recovery are too slender to deserve my confidence I came hither to die unmolested and at peace All I ask of you is to consult your own safety by immediate flight and not to disappoint my hopes of concealment by disclosing my condition to the agents of the hospital
Welbeck listened with the deepest attention The wildness of his air disappeared and gave place to perplexity and apprehension
You are sick said he in a tremulous tone in which terror was mingled with affection You know this and expect not to recover No mother nor sister nor friend will be near to administer food or medicine or comfort yet you can talk calmly can be thus considerate of others—of me whose guilt has been so deep and who has merited so little at your hands
Wretched coward Thus miserable as I am and expect to be I cling to life To comply with your heroic counsel and to fly to leave you thus desolate and helpless is the strongest impulse Fain would I resist it but cannot
To desert you would be flagitious and dastardly beyond all former acts yet to stay with you is to contract the disease and to perish after you
Life burdened as it is with guilt and ignominy is still dear—yet you exhort me to go you dispense with my assistance Indeed I could be of no use I should injure myself and profit you nothing I cannot go into the city and procure a physician or attendant I must never more appear in the streets of this city I must leave you then He hurried to the door Again he hesitated I renewed my entreaties that he would leave me and encouraged his belief that his presence might endanger himself without conferring the slightest benefit upon me
Whither should I fly The wide world contains no asylum for me I lived but on one condition I came hither to find what would save me from ruin—from death I find it not It has vanished Some audacious and fortunate hand has snatched it from its place and now my ruin is complete My last hope is extinct
Yes Mervyn I will stay with you I will hold your head I will put water to your lips I will watch night and day by your side When you die I will carry you by night to the neighbouring field will bury you and water your grave with those tears that are due to your incomparable worth and untimely destiny Then I will lay myself in your bed and wait for the same oblivion
Welbeck seemed now no longer to be fluctuating between opposite purposes His tempestuous features subsided into calm He put the candle still lighted on the table and paced the floor with less disorder than at his first entrance
His resolution was seen to be the dictate of despair I hoped that it would not prove invincible to my remonstrances I was conscious that his attendance might preclude in some degree my own exertions and alleviate the pangs of death but these consolations might be purchased too dear To receive them at the hazard of his life would be to make them odious
But if he should remain what conduct would his companion pursue Why did he continue in the study when Welbeck had departed By what motives were those men led hither I addressed myself to Welbeck—
Your resolution to remain is hasty and rash By persisting in it you will add to the miseries of my condition you will take away the only hope that I cherished But however you may act Colvill or I must be banished from this roof What is the league between you Break it I conjure you before his frauds have involved you in inextricable destruction
Welbeck looked at me with some expression of doubt
I mean continued I the man whose voice I heard above He is a villain and betrayer I have manifold proofs of his guilt Why does he linger behind you However you may decide it is fitting that he should vanish
Alas said Welbeck I have no companion none to partake with me in good or evil I came hither alone
How exclaimed I Whom did I hear in the room above Some one answered my interrogations and entreaties whom I too certainly recognised Why does he remain
You heard no one but myself The design that brought me hither was to be accomplished without a witness I desired to escape detection and repelled your solicitations for admission in a counterfeited voice
That voice belonged to one from whom I had lately parted What his merits or demerits are I know not He found me wandering in the forests of New Jersey He took me to his home When seized by a lingering malady he nursed me with fidelity and tenderness When somewhat recovered I speeded hither but our ignorance of each others character and views was mutual and profound
I deemed it useful to assume a voice different from my own This was the last which I had heard and this arbitrary and casual circumstance decided my choice
This imitation was too perfect and had influenced my fears too strongly to be easily credited I suspected Welbeck of some new artifice to baffle my conclusions and mislead my judgment This suspicion however yielded to his earnest and repeated declarations If Colvill were not here where had he made his abode How came friendship and intercourse between Welbeck and him By what miracle escaped the former from the river into which I had imagined him forever sunk
I will answer you said he with candour You know already too much for me to have any interest in concealing any part of my life You have discovered my existence and the causes that rescued me from destruction may be told without detriment to my person or fame
When I leaped into the river I intended to perish I harboured no previous doubts of my ability to execute my fatal purpose In this respect I was deceived Suffocation would not come at my bidding My muscles and limbs rebelled against my will There was a mechanical repugnance to the loss of life which I could not vanquish My struggles might thrust me below the surface but my lips were spontaneously shut and excluded the torrent from my lungs When my breath was exhausted the efforts that kept me at the bottom were involuntarily remitted and I rose to the surface
I cursed my own pusillanimity Thrice I plunged to the bottom and as often rose again My aversion to life swiftly diminished and at length I consented to make use of my skill in swimming which has seldom been exceeded to prolong my existence I landed in a few minutes on the Jersey shore
This scheme being frustrated I sunk into dreariness and inactivity I felt as if no dependence could be placed upon my courage as if any effort I should make for selfdestruction would be fruitless yet existence was as void as ever of enjoyment and embellishment My means of living were annihilated I saw no path before me To shun the presence of mankind was my sovereign wish Since I could not die by my own hands I must be content to crawl upon the surface till a superior fate should permit me to perish
I wandered into the centre of the wood I stretched myself on the mossy verge of a brook and gazed at the stars till they disappeared The next day was spent with little variation The cravings of hunger were felt and the sensation was a joyous one since it afforded me the practicable means of death To refrain from food was easy since some efforts would be needful to procure it and these efforts should not be made Thus was the sweet oblivion for which I so earnestly panted placed within my reach
Three days of abstinence and reverie and solitude succeeded On the evening of the fourth I was seated on a rock with my face buried in my hands Some one laid his hand upon my shoulder I started and looked up I beheld a face beaming with compassion and benignity He endeavoured to extort from me the cause of my solitude and sorrow I disregarded his entreaties and was obstinately silent
Finding me invincible in this respect he invited me to his cottage which was hard by I repelled him at first with impatience and anger but he was not to be discouraged or intimidated To elude his persuasions I was obliged to comply My strength was gone and the vital fabric was crumbling into pieces A fever raged in my veins and I was consoled by reflecting that my life was at once assailed by famine and disease
Meanwhile my gloomy meditations experienced no respite I incessantly ruminated on the events of my past life The long series of my crimes arose daily and afresh to my imagination The image of Lodi was recalled his expiring looks and the directions which were mutually given respecting his sisters and his property
As I perpetually revolved these incidents they assumed new forms and were linked with new associations The volume written by his father and transferred to me by tokens which were now remembered to be more emphatic than the nature of the composition seemed to justify was likewise remembered It came attended by recollections respecting a volume which I filled when a youth with extracts from the Roman and Greek poets Besides this literary purpose I likewise used to preserve in it the bankbills with the keeping or carriage of which I chanced to be entrusted This image led me back to the leather case containing Lodis property which was put into my hands at the same time with the volume
These images now gave birth to a third conception which darted on my benighted understanding like an electrical flash Was it not possible that part of Lodis property might be enclosed within the leaves of this volume In hastily turning it over I recollected to have noticed leaves whose edges by accident or design adhered to each other Lodi in speaking of the sale of his fathers WestIndia property mentioned that the sum obtained for it was forty thousand dollars Half only of this sum had been discovered by me How had the remainder been appropriated Surely this volume contained it
The influence of this thought was like the infusion of a new soul into my frame From torpid and desperate from inflexible aversion to medicine and food I was changed in a moment into vivacity and hope into ravenous avidity for whatever could contribute to my restoration to health
I was not without pungent regrets and racking fears That this volume would be ravished away by creditors or plunderers was possible Every hour might be that which decided my fate The first impulse was to seek my dwelling and search for this precious deposit
Meanwhile my perturbations and impatience only exasperated my disease While chained to my bed the rumour of pestilence was spread abroad This event however generally calamitous was propitious to me and was hailed with satisfaction It multiplied the chances that my house and its furniture would be unmolested
My friend was assiduous and indefatigable in his kindness My deportment before and subsequent to the revival of my hopes was incomprehensible and argued nothing less than insanity My thoughts were carefully concealed from him and all that he witnessed was contradictory and unintelligible
At length my strength was sufficiently restored I resisted all my protectors importunities to postpone my departure till the perfect confirmation of my health I designed to enter the city at midnight that prying eyes might be eluded to bear with me a candle and the means of lighting it to explore my way to my ancient study and to ascertain my future claim to existence and felicity
I crossed the river this morning My impatience would not suffer me to wait till evening Considering the desolation of the city I thought I might venture to approach thus near without hazard of detection The house at all its avenues was closed I stole into the back court A windowshutter proved to be unfastened I entered and discovered closets and cabinets unfastened and emptied of all their contents At this spectacle my heart sunk My books doubtless had shared the common destiny My blood throbbed with painful vehemence as I approached the study and opened the door
My hopes that languished for a moment were revived by the sight of my shelves furnished as formerly I had lighted my candle below for I desired not to awaken observation and suspicion by unclosing the windows My eye eagerly sought the spot where I remembered to have left the volume Its place was empty The object of all my hopes had eluded my grasp and disappeared forever
To paint my confusion to repeat my execrations on the infatuation which had rendered during so long a time that it was in my possession this treasure useless to me and my curses of the fatal interference which had snatched away the prize would be only aggravations of my disappointment and my sorrow You found me in this state and know what followed
CHAPTER XXII
This narrative threw new light on the character of Welbeck If accident had given him possession of this treasure it was easy to predict on what schemes of luxury and selfishness it would have been expended The same dependence on the worlds erroneous estimation the same devotion to imposture and thoughtlessness of futurity would have constituted the picture of his future life as had distinguished the past
This money was anothers To retain it for his own use was criminal Of this crime he appeared to be as insensible as ever His own gratification was the supreme law of his actions To be subjected to the necessity of honest labour was the heaviest of all evils and one from which he was willing to escape by the commission of suicide
The volume which he sought was mine It was my duty to restore it to the rightful owner or if the legal claimant could not be found to employ it in the promotion of virtue and happiness To give it to Welbeck was to consecrate it to the purpose of selfishness and misery My right legally considered was as valid as his
But if I intended not to resign it to him was it proper to disclose the truth and explain by whom the volume was purloined from the shelf The first impulse was to hide this truth but my understanding had been taught by recent occurrences to question the justice and deny the usefulness of secrecy in any case My principles were true my motives were pure why should I scruple to avow my principles and vindicate my actions
Welbeck had ceased to be dreaded or revered That awe which was once created by his superiority of age refinement of manners and dignity of garb had vanished I was a boy in years an indigent and uneducated rustic but I was able to discern the illusions of power and riches and abjured every claim to esteem that was not founded on integrity There was no tribunal before which I should falter in asserting the truth and no species of martyrdom which I would not cheerfully embrace in its cause
After some pause I said Cannot you conjecture in what way this volume has disappeared
No he answered with a sigh Why of all his volumes this only should have vanished was an inexplicable enigma
Perhaps said I it is less important to know how it was removed than by whom it is now possessed
Unquestionably and yet unless that knowledge enables me to regain the possession it will be useless
Useless then it will be for the present possessor will never return it to you
Indeed replied he in a tone of dejection your conjecture is most probable Such a prize is of too much value to be given up
What I have said flows not from conjecture but from knowledge I know that it will never be restored to you
At these words Welbeck looked at me with anxiety and doubt—You know that it will not Have you any knowledge of the book Can you tell me what has become of it
Yes After our separation on the river I returned to this house I found this volume and secured it You rightly suspected its contents The money was there
Welbeck started as if he had trodden on a mine of gold His first emotion was rapturous but was immediately chastened by some degree of doubt—What has become of it Have you got it Is it entire Have you it with you
It is unimpaired I have got it and shall hold it as a sacred trust for the rightful proprietor
The tone with which this declaration was accompanied shook the newborn confidence of Welbeck The rightful proprietor true but I am he To me only it belongs and to me you are doubtless willing to restore it
Mr Welbeck It is not my desire to give you perplexity or anguish to sport with your passions On the supposition of your death I deemed it no infraction of justice to take this manuscript Accident unfolded its contents I could not hesitate to choose my path The natural and legal successor of Vincentio Lodi is his sister To her therefore this property belongs and to her only will I give it
Presumptuous boy And this is your sage decision I tell you that I am the owner and to me you shall render it Who is this girl Childish and ignorant Unable to consult and to act for herself on the most trivial occasion Am I not by the appointment of her dying brother her protector and guardian Her age produces a legal incapacity of property Do you imagine that so obvious an expedient as that of procuring my legal appointment as her guardian was overlooked by me If it were neglected still my title to provide her subsistence and enjoyment is unquestionable
Did I not rescue her from poverty and prostitution and infamy Have I not supplied all her wants with incessant solicitude Whatever her condition required has been plenteously supplied The dwelling and its furniture was hers as far a rigid jurisprudence would permit To prescribe her expenses and govern her family was the province of her guardian
You have heard the tale of my anguish and despair Whence did they flow but from the frustration of schemes projected for her benefit as they were executed with her money and by means which the authority of her guardian fully justified Why have I encountered this contagious atmosphere and explored my way like a thief to this recess but with a view to rescue her from poverty and restore to her her own
Your scruples are ridiculous and criminal I treat them with less severity because your youth is raw and your conceptions crude But if after this proof of the justice of my claim you hesitate to restore the money I shall treat you as a robber who has plundered my cabinet and refused to refund his spoil
These reasonings were powerful and new I was acquainted with the rights of guardianship Welbeck had in some respects acted as the friend of this lady To vest himself with this office was the conduct which her youth and helplessness prescribed to her friend His title to this money as her guardian could not be denied
But how was this statement compatible with former representations No mention had then been made of guardianship By thus acting he would have thwarted all his schemes for winning the esteem of mankind and fostering the belief which the world entertained of his opulence and independence
I was thrown by these thoughts into considerable perplexity If his statement were true his claim to this money was established but I questioned its truth To intimate my doubts of his veracity would be to provoke abhorrence and outrage
His last insinuation was peculiarly momentous Suppose him the fraudulent possessor of this money shall I be justified in taking it away by violence under pretence of restoring it to the genuine proprietor who for aught I know may be dead or with whom at least I may never procure a meeting But will not my behaviour on this occasion be deemed illicit I entered Welbecks habitation at midnight proceeded to his closet possessed myself of portable property and retired unobserved Is not guilt imputable to an action like this
Welbeck waited with impatience for a conclusion to my pause My perplexity and indecision did not abate and my silence continued At length he repeated his demands with new vehemence I was compelled to answer I told him in few words that his reasonings had not convinced me of the equity of his claim and that my determination was unaltered
He had not expected this inflexibility from one in my situation The folly of opposition when my feebleness and loneliness were contrasted with his activity and resources appeared to him monstrous and glaring but his contempt was converted into rage and fear when he reflected that this folly might finally defeat his hopes He had probably determined to obtain the money let the purchase cost what it would but was willing to exhaust pacific expedients before he should resort to force He might likewise question whether the money was within his reach I had told him that I had it but whether it was now about me was somewhat dubious yet though he used no direct inquiries he chose to proceed on the supposition of its being at hand His angry tones were now changed into those of remonstrance and persuasion—
Your present behaviour Mervyn does not justify the expectation I had formed of you You have been guilty of a base theft To this you have added the deeper crime of ingratitude but your infatuation and folly are at least as glaring as your guilt Do you think I can credit your assertions that you keep this money for another when I recollect that six weeks have passed since you carried it off Why have you not sought the owner and restored it to her If your intentions had been honest would you have suffered so long a time to elapse without doing this It is plain that you designed to keep it for your own use
But whether this were your purpose or not you have no longer power to restore it or retain it You say that you came hither to die If so what is to be the fate of the money In your present situation you cannot gain access to the lady Some other must inherit this wealth Next to Signora Lodi whose right can be put in competition with mine But if you will not give it to me on my own account let it be given in trust for her Let me be the bearer of it to her own hands I have already shown you that my claim to it as her guardian is legal and incontrovertible but this claim I waive I will merely be the executor of your will I will bind myself to comply with your directions by any oath however solemn and tremendous which you shall prescribe
As long as my own heart acquitted me these imputations of dishonesty affected me but little They excited no anger because they originated in ignorance and were rendered plausible to Welbeck by such facts as were known to him It was needless to confute the charge by elaborate and circumstantial details
It was true that my recovery was in the highest degree improbable and that my death would put an end to my power over this money but had I not determined to secure its useful application in case of my death This project was obstructed by the presence of Welbeck but I hoped that his love of life would induce him to fly He might wrest this volume from me by violence or he might wait till my death should give him peaceable possession But these though probable events were not certain and would by no means justify the voluntary surrender His strength if employed for this end could not be resisted but then it would be a sacrifice not a choice but necessity
Promises were easily given but were surely not to be confided in Welbecks own tale in which it could not be imagined that he had aggravated his defects attested the frailty of his virtue To put into his hands a sum like this in expectation of his delivering it to another when my death would cover the transaction with impenetrable secrecy would be indeed a proof of that infatuation which he thought proper to impute to me
These thoughts influenced my resolutions but they were revolved in silence To state them verbally was useless They would not justify my conduct in his eyes They would only exasperate dispute and impel him to those acts of violence which I was desirous of preventing The sooner this controversy should end and I in any measure be freed from the obstruction of his company the better
Mr Welbeck said I my regard to your safety compels me to wish that this interview should terminate At a different time I should not be unwilling to discuss this matter Now it will be fruitless My conscience points out to me too clearly the path I should pursue for me to mistake it As long as I have power over this money I shall keep it for the use of the unfortunate lady whom I have seen in this house I shall exert myself to find her but if that be impossible I shall appropriate it in a way in which you shall have no participation
I will not repeat the contest that succeeded between my forbearance and his passions I listened to the dictates of his rage and his avarice in silence Astonishment at my inflexibility was blended with his anger By turns he commented on the guilt and on the folly of my resolutions Sometimes his emotions would mount into fury and he would approach me in a menacing attitude and lift his hand as if he would exterminate me at a blow My languid eyes my cheeks glowing and my temples throbbing with fever and my total passiveness attracted his attention and arrested his stroke Compassion would take the place of rage and the belief be revived that remonstrances and arguments would answer his purpose
CHAPTER XXIII
This scene lasted I know not how long Insensibly the passions and reasonings of Welbeck assumed a new form A grief mingled with perplexity overspread his countenance He ceased to contend or to speak His regards were withdrawn from me on whom they had hitherto been fixed and wandering or vacant testified a conflict of mind terrible beyond any that my young imagination had ever conceived
For a time he appeared to be unconscious of my presence He moved to and fro with unequal steps and with gesticulations that possessed a horrible but indistinct significance Occasionally he struggled for breath and his efforts were directed to remove some choking impediment
No test of my fortitude had hitherto occurred equal to that to which it was now subjected The suspicion which this deportment suggested was vague and formless The tempest which I witnessed was the prelude of horror These were throes which would terminate in the birth of some gigantic and sanguinary purpose Did he meditate to offer a bloody sacrifice Was his own death or was mine to attest the magnitude of his despair or the impetuosity of his vengeance
Suicide was familiar to his thoughts He had consented to live but on one condition that of regaining possession of this money Should I be justified in driving him by my obstinate refusal to this fatal consummation of his crimes Yet my fear of this catastrophe was groundless Hitherto he had argued and persuaded but this method was pursued because it was more eligible than the employment of force or than procrastination
No These were tokens that pointed to me Some unknown instigation was at work within him to tear away his remnant of humanity and fit him for the office of my murderer I knew not how the accumulation of guilt could contribute to his gratification or security His actions had been partially exhibited and vaguely seen What extenuations or omissions had vitiated his former or recent narrative how far his actual performances were congenial with the deed which was now to be perpetrated I knew not
These thoughts lent new rapidity to my blood I raised my head from the pillow and watched the deportment of this man with deeper attention The paroxysm which controlled him at length in some degree subsided He muttered Yes It must come My last humiliation must cover me My last confession must be made To die and leave behind me this train of enormous perils must not be
O Clemenza O Mervyn Ye have not merited that I should leave you a legacy of persecution and death Your safety must be purchased at what price my malignant destiny will set upon it The cord of the executioner the note of everlasting infamy is better than to leave you beset by the consequences of my guilt It must not be
Saying this Welbeck cast fearful glances at the windows and door He examined every avenue and listened Thrice he repeated this scrutiny Having as it seemed ascertained that no one lurked within audience he approached the bed He put his mouth close to my face He attempted to speak but once more examined the apartment with suspicious glances
He drew closer and at length in a tone scarcely articulate and suffocated with emotion he spoke—Excellent but fatallyobstinate youth Know at least the cause of my importunity Know at least the depth of my infatuation and the enormity of my guilt
The bills—surrender them to me and save yourself from persecution and disgrace Save the woman whom you wish to benefit from the blackest imputations from hazard to her life and her fame from languishing in dungeons from expiring on the gallows
The bills—oh save me from the bitterness of death Let the evils to which my miserable life has given birth terminate here and in myself Surrender them to me for——
There he stopped His utterence was choked by terror Rapid glances were again darted at the windows and door The silence was uninterrupted except by faroff sounds produced by some moving carriage Once more he summoned resolution and spoke—
Surrender them to me—for—they are forged
Formerly I told you that a scheme of forgery had been conceived Shame would not suffer me to add that my scheme was carried into execution The bills were fashioned but my fears contended against my necessities and forbade me to attempt to exchange them The interview with Lodi saved me from the dangerous experiment I enclosed them in that volume as the means of future opulence to be used when all other and less hazardous resources should fail
In the agonies of my remorse at the death of Watson they were forgotten They afterwards recurred to recollection My wishes pointed to the grave but the stroke that should deliver me from life was suspended only till I could hasten hither get possession of these papers and destroy them
When I thought upon the chances that should give them an owner bring them into circulation load the innocent with suspicion and lead them to trial and perhaps to death my sensations were fraught with agony earnestly as I panted for death it was necessarily deferred till I had gained possession of and destroyed these papers
What now remains You have found them Happily they have not been used Give them therefore to me that I may crush at once the brood of mischiefs which they could not but generate
This disclosure was strange It was accompanied with every token of sincerity How had I tottered on the brink of destruction If I had made use of this money in what a labyrinth of misery might I not have been involved My innocence could never have been proved An alliance with Welbeck could not have failed to be inferred My career would have found an ignominious close or if my punishment had been transmuted into slavery and toil would the testimony of my conscience have supported me
I shuddered at the view of those disasters from which I was rescued by the miraculous chance which led me to this house Welbecks request was salutary to me and honourable to himself I could not hesitate a moment in compliance The notes were enclosed in paper and deposited in a fold of my clothes I put my hand upon them
My motion and attention were arrested at the instant by a noise which arose in the street Footsteps were heard upon the pavement before the door and voices as if busy in discourse This incident was adapted to infuse the deepest alarm into myself and my companion The motives of our trepidation were indeed different and were infinitely more powerful in my case than in his It portended to me nothing less than the loss of my asylum and condemnation to an hospital
Welbeck hurried to the door to listen to the conversation below This interval was pregnant with thought That impulse which led my reflections from Welbeck to my own state passed away in a moment and suffered me to meditate anew upon the terms of that confession which had just been made
Horror at the fate which this interview had enabled me to shun was uppermost in my conceptions I was eager to surrender these fatal bills I held them for that purpose in my hand and was impatient for Welbecks return He continued at the door stooping with his face averted and eagerly attentive to the conversation in the street
All the circumstances of my present situation tended to arrest the progress of thought and chain my contemplations to one image but even now there was room for foresight and deliberation Welbeck intended to destroy these bills Perhaps he had not been sincere or if his purpose had been honestly disclosed this purpose might change when the bills were in his possession His poverty and sanguineness of temper might prompt him to use them
That this conduct was evil and would only multiply his miseries could not be questioned Why should I subject his frailty to this temptation The destruction of these bills was the loudest injunction of my duty was demanded by every sanction which bound me to promote the welfare of mankind
The means of destruction was easy A lighted candle stood on a table at the distance of a few yards Why should I hesitate a moment to annihilate so powerful a cause of error and guilt A passing instant was sufficient A momentary lingering might change the circumstances that surrounded me and frustrate my project
My languors were suspended by the urgencies of this occasion I started from my bed and glided to the table Seizing the notes with my right hand I held them in the flame of the candle and then threw them blazing on the floor
The sudden illumination was perceived by Welbeck The cause of it appeared to suggest itself as soon He turned and marking the paper where it lay leaped to the spot and extinguished the fire with his foot His interposition was too late Only enough of them remained to inform him of the nature of the sacrifice
Welbeck now stood with limbs trembling features aghast and eyes glaring upon me For a time he was without speech The storm was gathering in silence and at length burst upon me In a tone menacing and loud he exclaimed—
Wretch what have you done
I have done justly These notes were false You desired to destroy them that they might not betray the innocent I applauded your purpose and have saved you from the danger of temptation by destroying them myself
Maniac Miscreant To be fooled by so gross an artifice The notes were genuine The tale of their forgery was false and meant only to wrest them from you Execrable and perverse idiot Your deed has sealed my perdition It has sealed your own You shall pay for it with your blood I will slay you by inches I will stretch you as you have stretched me on the rack
During this speech all was frenzy and storm in the countenance and features of Welbeck Nothing less could be expected than that the scene would terminate in some bloody catastrophe I bitterly regretted the facility with which I had been deceived and the precipitation of my sacrifice The act however lamentable could not be revoked What remained but to encounter or endure its consequences with unshrinking firmness
The contest was too unequal It is possible that the frenzy which actuated Welbeck might have speedily subsided It is more likely that his passions would have been satiated with nothing but my death This event was precluded by loud knocks at the street door and calls by some one on the pavement without of—Who is within Is any one within
These noises gave a new direction to Welbecks thoughts They are coming said he They will treat you as a sick man and a thief I cannot desire you to suffer a worse evil than they will inflict I leave you to your fate So saying he rushed out of the room
Though confounded and stunned by this rapid succession of events I was yet able to pursue measures for eluding these detested visitants I first extinguished the light and then observing that the parley in the street continued and grew louder I sought an asylum in the remotest corner of the house During my former abode here I noticed that a trapdoor opened in the ceiling of the third story to which you were conducted by a movable stair or ladder I considered that this probably was an opening into a narrow and darksome nook formed by the angle of the roof By ascending drawing after me the ladder and closing the door I should escape the most vigilant search
Enfeebled as I was by my disease my resolution rendered me strenuous I gained the uppermost room and mounting the ladder found myself at a sufficient distance from suspicion The stair was hastily drawn up and the door closed In a few minutes however my new retreat proved to be worse than any for which it was possible to change it The air was musty stagnant and scorchingly hot My breathing became difficult and I saw that to remain here ten minutes would unavoidably produce suffocation
My terror of intruders had rendered me blind to the consequences of immuring myself in this cheerless recess It was incumbent on me to extricate myself as speedily as possible I attempted to lift the door My first effort was successless Every inspiration was quicker and more difficult than the former As my terror so my strength and my exertions increased Finally my trembling hand lighted on a nail that was imperfectly driven into the wood and which by affording me a firmer hold enabled me at length to raise it and to inhale the air from beneath
Relieved from my new peril by this situation I bent an attentive ear through the opening with a view to ascertain if the house had been entered or if the outer door was still beset but could hear nothing Hence I was authorized to conclude that the people had departed and that I might resume my former station without hazard
Before I descended however I cast a curious eye over this recess It was large enough to accommodate a human being The means by which it was entered were easily concealed Though narrow and low it was long and were it possible to contrive some inlet for the air one studious of concealment might rely on its protection with unbounded confidence
My scrutiny was imperfect by reason of the faint light which found its way through the opening yet it was sufficient to set me afloat on a sea of new wonders and subject my fortitude to a new test—
Here Mervyn paused in his narrative A minute passed in silence and seeming indecision His perplexities gradually disappeared and he continued—
I have promised to relate the momentous incidents of my life and have hitherto been faithful in my enumeration There is nothing which I more detest than equivocation and mystery Perhaps however I shall now incur some imputation of that kind I would willingly escape the accusation but confess that I am hopeless of escaping it
I might indeed have precluded your guesses and surmises by omitting to relate what befell me from the time of my leaving my chamber till I regained it I might deceive you by asserting that nothing remarkable occurred but this would be false and every sacrifice is trivial which is made upon the altar of sincerity Besides the time may come when no inconvenience will arise from minute descriptions of the objects which I now saw and of the reasonings and inferences which they suggested to my understanding At present it appears to be my duty to pass them over in silence but it would be needless to conceal from you that the interval though short and the scrutiny though hasty furnished matter which my curiosity devoured with unspeakable eagerness and from which consequences may hereafter flow deciding on my peace and my life
Nothing however occurred which could detain me long in this spot I once more sought the lower story and threw myself on the bed which I had left My mind was thronged with the images flowing from my late adventure My fever had gradually increased and my thoughts were deformed by inaccuracy and confusion
My heart did not sink when I reverted to my own condition That I should quickly be disabled from moving was readily perceived The foresight of my destiny was steadfast and clear To linger for days in this comfortless solitude to ask in vain not for powerful restoratives or alleviating cordials but for water to moisten my burning lips and abate the torments of thirst ultimately to expire in torpor or frenzy was the fate to which I looked forward yet I was not terrified I seemed to be sustained by a preternatural energy I felt as if the opportunity of combating such evils was an enviable privilege and though none would witness my victorious magnanimity yet to be conscious that praise was my due was all that my ambition required
These sentiments were doubtless tokens of delirium The excruciating agonies which now seized upon my head and the cord which seemed to be drawn across my breast and which as my fancy imagined was tightened by some forcible hand with a view to strangle me were incompatible with sober and coherent views
Thirst was the evil which chiefly oppressed me The means of relief was pointed out by nature and habit I rose and determined to replenish my pitcher at the well It was easier however to descend than to return My limbs refused to bear me and I sat down upon the lower step of the staircase Several hours had elapsed since my entrance into this dwelling and it was now night
My imagination now suggested a new expedient Medlicote was a generous and fearless spirit To put myself under his protection if I could walk as far as his lodgings was the wisest proceeding which I could adopt From this design my incapacity to walk thus far and the consequences of being discovered in the street had hitherto deterred me These impediments were now in the confusion of my understanding overlooked or despised and I forthwith set out upon this hopeless expedition
The doors communicating with the court and through the court with the street were fastened by inside bolts These were easily withdrawn and I issued forth with alacrity and confidence My perturbed senses and the darkness hindered me from discerning the right way I was conscious of this difficulty but was not disheartened I proceeded as I have since discovered in a direction different from the true but hesitated not till my powers were exhausted and I sunk upon the ground I closed my eyes and dismissed all fear and all foresight of futurity In this situation I remained some hours and should probably have expired on this spot had not I attracted your notice and been provided under this roof with all that medical skill that the tenderest humanity could suggest
In consequence of your care I have been restored to life and to health Your conduct was not influenced by the prospect of pecuniary recompense of service or of gratitude It is only in one way that I am able to heighten the gratification which must flow from reflection on your conduct—by showing that the being whose life you have prolonged though uneducated ignorant and poor is not profligate and worthless and will not dedicate that life which your bounty has given to mischievous or contemptible purposes
END OF VOL I
ARTHUR MERVYN
OR
MEMOIRS OF THE YEAR 1793
VOL II
ARTHUR MERVYN
CHAPTER XXIV
Here ended the narrative of Mervyn Surely its incidents were of no common kind During this season of pestilence my opportunities of observation had been numerous and I had not suffered them to pass unimproved The occurrences which fell within my own experience bore a general resemblance to those which had just been related but they did not hinder the latter from striking on my mind with all the force of novelty They served no end but as vouchers for the truth of the tale
Surely the youth had displayed inimitable and heroic qualities His courage was the growth of benevolence and reason and not the child of insensibility and the nursling of habit He had been qualified for the encounter of gigantic dangers by no laborious education He stepped forth upon the stage unfurnished by anticipation or experience with the means of security against fraud and yet by the aid of pure intentions had frustrated the wiles of an accomplished and veteran deceiver
I blessed the chance which placed the youth under my protection When I reflected on that tissue of nice contingencies which led him to my door and enabled me to save from death a being of such rare endowments my heart overflowed with joy not unmingled with regrets and trepidation How many have been cut off by this disease in their career of virtue and their blossomtime of genius How many deeds of heroism and selfdevotion are ravished from existence and consigned to hopeless oblivion
I had saved the life of this youth This was not the limit of my duty or my power Could I not render that life profitable to himself and to mankind The gains of my profession were slender but these gains were sufficient for his maintenance as well as my own By residing with me partaking my instructions and reading my books he would in a few years be fitted for the practice of physic A science whose truths are so conducive to the welfare of mankind and which comprehends the whole system of nature could not but gratify a mind so beneficent and strenuous as his
This scheme occurred to me as soon as the conclusion of his tale allowed me to think I did not immediately mention it since the approbation of my wife of whose concurrence however I entertained no doubt was previously to be obtained Dismissing it for the present from my thoughts I reverted to the incidents of his tale
The lady whom Welbeck had betrayed and deserted was not unknown to me I was but too well acquainted with her fate If she had been single in calamity her tale would have been listened to with insupportable sympathy but the frequency of the spectacle of distress seems to lessen the compassion with which it is reviewed Now that those scenes are only remembered my anguish is greater than when they were witnessed Then every new day was only a repetition of the disasters of the foregoing My sensibility if not extinguished was blunted and I gazed upon the complicated ills of poverty and sickness with a degree of unconcern on which I should once have reflected with astonishment
The fate of Clemenza Lodi was not perhaps more signal than many which have occurred It threw detestable light upon the character of Welbeck and showed him to be more inhuman than the tale of Mervyn had evinced him to be That man indeed was hitherto imperfectly seen The time had not come which should fully unfold the enormity of his transgressions and the complexity of his frauds
There lived in a remote quarter of the city a woman by name Villars who passed for the widow of an English officer Her manners and mode of living were specious She had three daughters well trained in the school of fashion and elegant in person manners and dress They had lately arrived from Europe and for a time received from their neighbours that respect to which their education and fortune appeared to lay claim
The fallacy of their pretensions slowly appeared It began to be suspected that their subsistence was derived not from pension or patrimony but from the wages of pollution Their habitation was clandestinely frequented by men who were unfaithful to their secret one of these was allied to me by ties which authorized me in watching his steps and detecting his errors with a view to his reformation From him I obtained a knowledge of the genuine character of these women
A man like Welbeck who was the slave of depraved appetites could not fail of being quickly satiated with innocence and beauty Some accident introduced him to the knowledge of this family and the youngest daughter found him a proper subject on which to exercise her artifices It was to the frequent demands made upon his purse by this woman that part of the embarrassments in which Mervyn found him involved are to be ascribed
To this circumstance must likewise be imputed his anxiety to transfer to some other the possession of the unhappy stranger Why he concealed from Mervyn his connection with Lucy Villars may be easily imagined His silence with regard to Clemenzas asylum will not create surprise when it was told that she was placed with Mrs Villars On what conditions she was received under this roof cannot be so readily conjectured It is obvious however to suppose that advantage was to be taken of her ignorance and weakness and that they hoped in time to make her an associate in their profligate schemes
The appearance of pestilence meanwhile threw them into panic and they hastened to remove from danger Mrs Villars appears to have been a woman of no ordinary views She stooped to the vilest means of amassing money but this money was employed to secure to herself and her daughters the benefits of independence She purchased the house which she occupied in the city and a mansion in the environs well built and splendidly furnished To the latter she and her family of which the Italian girl was now a member retired at the close of July
I have mentioned that the source of my intelligence was a kinsman who had been drawn from the paths of sobriety and rectitude by the impetuosity of youthful passions He had power to confess and deplore but none to repair his errors One of these women held him by a spell which he struggled in vain to dissolve and by which in spite of resolutions and remorses he was drawn to her feet and made to sacrifice to her pleasure his reputation and his fortune
My house was his customary abode during those intervals in which he was persuaded to pursue his profession Some time before the infection began its progress he had disappeared No tidings were received of him till a messenger arrived entreating my assistance I was conducted to the house of Mrs Villars in which I found no one but my kinsman Here it seems he had immured himself from my inquiries and on being seized by the reigning malady had been deserted by the family who ere they departed informed me by a messenger of his condition
Despondency combined with his disease to destroy him Before he died he informed me fully of the character of his betrayers The late arrival name and personal condition of Clemenza Lodi were related Welbeck was not named but was described in terms which combined with the narrative of Mervyn enabled me to recognise the paramour of Lucy Villars in the man whose crimes had been the principal theme of our discourse
Mervyns curiosity was greatly roused when I intimated my acquaintance with the fate of Clemenza In answer to his eager interrogations I related what I knew The tale plunged him into reverie Recovering at length from his thoughtfulness he spoke—
Her condition is perilous The poverty of Welbeck will drive him far from her abode Her profligate protectors will entice her or abandon her to ruin Cannot she be saved
I know not answered I by what means
The means are obvious Let her remove to some other dwelling Let her be apprized of the vices of those who surround her Let her be entreated to fly The will need only be inspired the danger need only be shown and she is safe for she will remove beyond its reach
Thou art an adventurous youth Who wilt thou find to undertake the office Who will be persuaded to enter the house of a stranger seek without an introduction the presence of this girl tell her that the house she inhabits is a house of prostitution prevail on her to believe the tale and persuade her to accompany him Who will open his house to the fugitive Whom will you convince that her illicit intercourse with Welbeck of which the opprobrious tokens cannot be concealed has not fitted her for the company of prostitutes and made her unworthy of protection Who will adopt into their family a stranger whose conduct has incurred infamy and whose present associates have no doubt made her worthy of the curse
True These are difficulties which I did not foresee Must she then perish Shall not something be done to rescue her from infamy and guilt
It is neither in your power nor in mine to do any thing
The lateness of the hour put an end to our conversation and summoned us to repose I seized the first opportunity of imparting to my wife the scheme which had occurred relative to our guest with which as I expected she readily concurred In the morning I mentioned it to Mervyn I dwelt upon the benefits that adhered to the medical profession the power which it confers of lightening the distresses of our neighbours the dignity which popular opinion annexes to it the avenue which it opens to the acquisition of competence the freedom from servile cares which attends it and the means of intellectual gratification with which it supplies us
As I spoke his eyes sparkled with joy Yes said he with vehemence I willingly embrace your offer I accept this benefit because I know that if my pride should refuse it I should prove myself less worthy than you think and give you pain instead of that pleasure which I am bound to confer I would enter on the duties and studies of my new profession immediately but somewhat is due to Mr Hadwin and his daughters I cannot vanquish my inquietudes respecting them but by returning to Malverton and ascertaining their state with my own eyes You know in what circumstances I parted with Wallace and Mr Hadwin I am not sure that either of them ever reached home or that they did not carry the infection along with them I now find myself sufficiently strong to perform the journey and purposed to have acquainted you at this interview with my intentions An hours delay is superfluous and I hope you will consent to my setting out immediately Rural exercise and air for a week or fortnight will greatly contribute to my health
No objection could be made to this scheme His narrative had excited no common affection in our bosoms for the Hadwins His visit could not only inform us of their true state but would dispel that anxiety which they could not but entertain respecting our guest It was a topic of some surprise that neither Wallace nor Hadwin had returned to the city with a view to obtain some tidings of their friend It was more easy to suppose them to have been detained by some misfortune than by insensibility or indolence In a few minutes Mervyn bade us adieu and set out upon his journey promising to acquaint us with the state of affairs as soon as possible after his arrival We parted from him with reluctance and found no consolation but in the prospect of his speedy return
During his absence conversation naturally turned upon those topics which were suggested by the narrative and deportment of this youth Different conclusions were formed by his two auditors They had both contracted a deep interest in his welfare and an ardent curiosity as to those particulars which his unfinished story had left in obscurity The true character and actual condition of Welbeck were themes of much speculation Whether he were dead or alive near or distant from his ancient abode was a point on which neither Mervyn nor any of those with whom I had means of intercourse afforded any information Whether he had shared the common fate and had been carried by the collectors of the dead from the highway or the hovel to the pits opened alike for the rich and the poor the known and the unknown whether he had escaped to a foreign shore or were destined to reappear upon this stage were questions involved in uncertainty
The disappearance of Watson would at a different time have excited much inquiry and suspicion but as this had taken place on the eve of the epidemic his kindred and friends would acquiesce without scruple in the belief that he had been involved in the general calamity and was to be numbered among the earliest victims Those of his profession usually resided in the street where the infection began and where its ravages had been most destructive and this circumstance would corroborate the conclusions of his friends
I did not perceive any immediate advantage to flow from imparting the knowledge I had lately gained to others Shortly after Mervyns departure to Malverton I was visited by Wortley Inquiring for my guest I told him that having recovered his health he had left my house He repeated his invectives against the villany of Welbeck his suspicions of Mervyn and his wishes for another interview with the youth Why had I suffered him to depart and whither had he gone
He has gone for a short time into the country I expect him to return in less than a week when you will meet with him here as often as you please for I expect him to take up his abode in this house
Much astonishment and disapprobation were expressed by my friend I hinted that the lad had made disclosures to me which justified my confidence in his integrity These proofs of his honesty were not of a nature to be indiscriminately unfolded Mervyn had authorized me to communicate so much of his story to Wortley as would serve to vindicate him from the charge of being Welbecks copartner in fraud but this end would only be counteracted by an imperfect tale and the full recital though it might exculpate Mervyn might produce inconveniences by which this advantage would be outweighed
Wortley as might be naturally expected was by no means satisfied with this statement He suspected that Mervyn was a wily impostor that he had been trained in the arts of fraud under an accomplished teacher that the tale which he had told to me was a tissue of ingenious and plausible lies that the mere assertions however plausible and solemn of one like him whose conduct had incurred such strong suspicions were unworthy of the least credit
It cannot be denied continued my friend that he lived with Welbeck at the time of his elopement that they disappeared together that they entered a boat at Pine Street wharf at midnight that this boat was discovered by the owner in the possession of a fisherman at Redbank who affirmed that he had found it stranded near his door the day succeeding that on which they disappeared Of all this I can supply you with incontestable proof If after this proof you can give credit to his story I shall think you made of very perverse and credulous materials
The proof you mention said I will only enhance his credibility All the facts which you have stated have been admitted by him They constitute an essential portion of his narrative
What then is the inference Are not these evidences of a compact between them Has he not acknowledged this compact in confessing that he knew Welbeck was my debtor that he was apprized of his flight but that what matchless effrontery he had promised secrecy and would by no means betray him You say he means to return but of that I doubt You will never see his face more He is too wise to thrust himself again into the noose but I do not utterly despair of lighting upon Welbeck Old Thetford Jamieson and I have sworn to hunt him through the world I have strong hopes that he has not strayed far Some intelligence has lately been received which has enabled us to place our hounds upon his scent He may double and skulk but if he does not fall into our toils at last he will have the agility and cunning as well as the malignity of devils
The vengeful disposition thus betrayed by Wortley was not without excuse The vigour of his days had been spent in acquiring a slender capital his diligence and honesty had succeeded and he had lately thought his situation such as to justify marriage with an excellent woman to whom he had for years been betrothed but from whom his poverty had hitherto compelled him to live separate Scarcely had this alliance taken place and the full career of nuptial enjoyments begun when his ill fate exposed him to the frauds of Welbeck and brought him in one evil hour to the brink of insolvency
Jamieson and Thetford however were rich and I had not till now been informed that they had reasons for pursuing Welbeck with peculiar animosity The latter was the uncle of him whose fate had been related by Mervyn and was one of those who employed money not as the medium of traffic but as in itself a commodity He had neither wines nor cloths to transmute into silver He thought it a tedious process to exchange today one hundred dollars for a cask or bale and tomorrow exchange the bale or cask for one hundred and ten dollars It was better to give the hundred for a piece of paper which carried forthwith to the moneychangers he could procure a hundred twentythree and threefourths In short this mans coffers were supplied by the despair of honest men and the stratagems of rogues I did not immediately suspect how this mans prudence and indefatigable attention to his own interest should allow him to become the dupe of Welbeck
What said I is old Thetfords claim upon Welbeck
It is a claim he replied that if it ever be made good will doom Welbeck to imprisonment and wholesome labour for life
How Surely it is nothing more than debt
Have you not heard But that is no wonder Happily you are a stranger to mercantile anxieties and revolutions Your fortune does not rest on a basis which an untoward blast may sweep away or four strokes of a pen may demolish That hoary dealer in suspicions was persuaded to put his hand to three notes for eight hundred dollars each The eight was then dexterously prolonged to eighteen they were duly deposited in time and place and the next day Welbeck was credited for fiftythree hundred and seventythree which an hour after were told out to his messenger Hard to say whether the old mans grief shame or rage be uppermost He disdains all comfort but revenge and that he will procure at any price Jamieson who deals in the same stuff with Thetford was outwitted in the same manner to the same amount and on the same day
This Welbeck must have powers above the common rate of mortals Grown gray in studying the follies and the stratagems of men these veterans were overreached No one pities them Twere well if his artifices had been limited to such and he had spared the honest and the poor It is for his injuries to men who have earned their scanty subsistence without forfeiting their probity that I hate him and shall exult to see him suffer all the rigours of the law Here Wortleys engagements compelled him to take his leave
CHAPTER XXV
While musing upon these facts I could not but reflect with astonishment on the narrow escapes which Mervyns virtue had experienced I was by no means certain that his fame or his life was exempt from all danger or that the suspicions which had already been formed respecting him could possibly be wiped away Nothing but his own narrative repeated with that simple but nervous eloquence which we had witnessed could rescue him from the most heinous charges Was there any tribunal that would not acquit him on merely hearing his defence
Surely the youth was honest His tale could not be the fruit of invention and yet what are the bounds of fraud Nature has set no limits to the combinations of fancy A smooth exterior a show of virtue and a specious tale are a thousand times exhibited in human intercourse by craft and subtlety Motives are endlessly varied while actions continue the same and an acute penetration may not find it hard to select and arrange motives suited to exempt from censure any action that a human being can commit
Had I heard Mervyns story from another or read it in a book I might perhaps have found it possible to suspect the truth but as long as the impression made by his tones gestures and looks remained in my memory this suspicion was impossible Wickedness may sometimes be ambiguous its mask may puzzle the observer our judgment may be made to falter and fluctuate but the face of Mervyn is the index of an honest mind Calm or vehement doubting or confident it is full of benevolence and candour He that listens to his words may question their truth but he that looks upon his countenance when speaking cannot withhold his faith
It was possible however to find evidence supporting or confuting his story I chanced to be acquainted with a family by name Althorpe who were natives of that part of the country where his father resided I paid them a visit and after a few preliminaries mentioned as if by accident the name of Mervyn They immediately recognised this name as belonging to one of their ancient neighbours The death of the wife and sons and the seduction of the only daughter by Colvill with many pathetic incidents connected with the fate of this daughter were mentioned
This intelligence induced me to inquire of Mrs Althorpe a sensible and candid woman if she were acquainted with the recent or present situation of this family
I cannot say much she answered of my own knowledge Since my marriage I am used to spend a few weeks of summer at my fathers but am less inquisitive than I once was into the concerns of my old neighbours I recollect however when there last year during the fever to have heard that Sawny Mervyn had taken a second wife that his only son a youth of eighteen had thought proper to be highly offended with his fathers conduct and treated the new mistress of the house with insult and contempt I should not much wonder at this seeing children are so apt to deem themselves unjustly treated by a second marriage of their parent but it was hinted that the boys jealousy and discontent were excited by no common cause The new mother was not much older than himself had been a servant of the family and a criminal intimacy had subsisted between her while in that condition and the son Her marriage with his father was justly accounted by their neighbours a most profligate and odious transaction The son perhaps had in such a case a right to scold but he ought not to have carried his anger to such extremes as have been imputed to him He is said to have grinned upon her with contempt and even to have called her strumpet in the presence of his father and of strangers
It was impossible for such a family to keep together Arthur took leave one night to possess himself of all his fathers cash mount the best horse in his meadow and elope For a time no one knew whither he had gone At last one was said to have met with him in the streets of this city metamorphosed from a rustic lad into a fine gentleman Nothing could be quicker than this change for he left the country on a Saturday morning and was seen in a French frock and silk stockings going into Christs Church the next day I suppose he kept it up with a high hand as long as his money lasted
My lather paid us a visit last week and among other countrynews told us that Sawny Mervyn had sold his place His wife had persuaded him to try his fortune in the Western country The price of his hundred acres here would purchase a thousand there and the man being very gross and ignorant and withal quite a simpleton found no difficulty in perceiving that a thousand are ten times more than a hundred He was not aware that a rood of ground upon Schuylkill is tenfold better than an acre on the Tennessee
The woman turned out to be an artful profligate Having sold his ground and gotten his money he placed it in her keeping and she to enjoy it with the more security ran away to the city leaving him to prosecute his journey to Kentucky moneyless and alone Some time after Mr Althorpe and I were at the play when he pointed out to me a group of females in an upper box one of whom was no other than Betty Lawrence It was not easy to recognise in her present gaudy trim all flaunting with ribbons and shining with trinkets the same Betty who used to deal out pecks of potatoes and superintend her basket of cantaloupes in the Jersey market in pasteboard bonnet and linsey petticoat Her companions were of the infamous class If Arthur were still in the city there is no doubt that the mother and son might renew the ancient terms of their acquaintance
The old man thus robbed and betrayed sought consolation in the bottle of which he had been at all times overfond He wandered from one tavern to another till his credit was exhausted and then was sent to jail where I believe he is likely to continue till his death Such my friend is the history of the Mervyns
What proof said I have you of the immoral conduct of the son Of his mistreatment of his mother and his elopement with his fathers horse and money
I have no proof but the unanimous report of Mervyns neighbours Respectable and honest men have affirmed in my hearing that they had been present when the boy treated his mother in the way that I have described I was besides once in company with the old man and heard him bitterly inveigh against his son and charge him with the fact of stealing his horse and money I well remember that tears rolled from his eyes while talking on the subject As to his being seen in the city the next day after his elopement dressed in a most costly and fashionable manner I can doubt that as little as the rest for he that saw him was my father and you who know my father know what credit is due to his eyes and his word He had seen Arthur often enough not to be mistaken and described his appearance with great exactness The boy is extremely handsome give him his due has dark hazel eyes auburn hair and very elegant proportions His air and gait have nothing of the clown in them Take away his jacket and trousers and you have as spruce a fellow as ever came from dancingschool or college He is the exact picture of his mother and the most perfect contrast to the sturdy legs squat figure and broad unthinking sheepish face of the father that can be imagined You must confess that his appearance here is a pretty strong proof of the fathers assertions The money given for these clothes could not possibly have been honestly acquired It is to be presumed that they were bought or stolen for how else should they have been gotten
What was this lads personal deportment during the life of his mother and before his fathers second marriage
Very little to the credit of his heart or his intellects Being the youngest son the only one who at length survived and having a powerful resemblance to herself he became the mothers favourite His constitution was feeble and he loved to stroll in the woods more than to plough or sow This idleness was much against his fathers inclination and judgment and indeed it was the foundation of all his vices When he could be prevailed upon to do any thing it was in a bungling manner and so as to prove that his thoughts were fixed on any thing except his business When his assistance was wanted he was never to be found at hand They were compelled to search for him among the rocks and bushes and he was generally discovered sauntering along the bank of a river or lolling in the shade of a tree This disposition to inactivity and laziness in so young a man was very strange Persons of his age are rarely fond of work but then they are addicted to company and sports and exercises They ride or shoot or frolic but this being moped away his time in solitude never associated with other young people never mounted a horse but when he could not help it and never fired a gun or angled for a fish in his life Some people supposed him to be half an idiot or at least not to be right in his mind and indeed his conduct was so very perverse and singular that I do not wonder at those who accounted for it in this way
But surely said I he had some object of pursuit Perhaps he was addicted to books
Far from it On the contrary his aversion to school was as great as his hatred of the plough He never could get his lessons or bear the least constraint He was so much indulged by his mother at home that tasks and discipline of any kind were intolerable He was a perpetual truant till the master one day attempting to strike him he ran out of the room and never entered it more The mother excused and countenanced his frowardness and the foolish father was obliged to give way I do not believe he had two months schooling in his life
Perhaps said I he preferred studying by himself and at liberty I have known boys endowed with great curiosity and aptitude to learning who never could endure set tasks and spurned at the pedagogue and his rod
I have known such likewise but this was not one of them I know not whence he could derive his love of knowledge or the means of acquiring it The family were totally illiterate The father was a Scotch peasant whose ignorance was so great that he could not sign his name His wife I believe could read and might sometimes decipher the figures in an almanac but that was all I am apt to think that the sons ability was not much greater You might as well look for silver platters or marble tables in his house as for a book or a pen
I remember calling at their house one evening in the winter before last It was intensely cold and my father who rode with me having business with Sawny Mervyn we stopped a minute at his gate and while the two old men were engaged in conversation I begged leave to warm myself by the kitchen fire Here in the chimneycorner seated on a block I found Arthur busily engaged in knitting stockings I thought this a whimsical employment for a young active man I told him so for I wanted to put him to the blush but he smiled in my face and answered without the least discomposure Just as whimsical a business for a young active woman Pray did you never knit a stocking
Yes but that was from necessity Were I of a different sex or did I possess the strength of a man I should rather work in my field or study my book
Rejoice that you are a woman then and are at liberty to pursue that which costs least labour and demands most skill You see though a man I use your privilege and prefer knitting yarn to threshing my brain with a book or the barnfloor with a flail
I wonder said I contemptuously you do not put on the petticoat as well as handle the needle
Do not wonder he replied it is because I hate a petticoat encumbrance as much as I love warm feet Look there offering the stocking to my inspection is it not well done
I did not touch it but sneeringly said Excellent I wonder you do not apprentice yourself to a tailor
He looked at me with an air of ridiculous simplicity and said How prone the woman is to wonder You call the work excellent and yet wonder that I do not make myself a slave to improve my skill Did you learn needlework from seven years squatting on a tailors board Had you come to me I would have taught you in a day
I was taught at school
And paid your instructor
Tobesure
Twas liberty and money thrown away Send your sister if you have one to me and I will teach her without either rod or wages Will you
You have an old and a violent antipathy I believe to any thing like a school
True It was early and violent Had not you
No I went to school with pleasure for I thought to read and write were accomplishments of some value
Indeed Then I misunderstood you just now I thought you said that had you the strength of a man you should prefer the plough and the book to the needle Whence supposing you a female I inferred that you had a womans love for the needle and a fools hatred of books
My father calling me from without I now made a motion to go Stay continued he with great earnestness throwing aside his knittingapparatus and beginning in great haste to pull off his stockings Draw these stockings over your shoes They will save your feet from the snow while walking to your horse
Half angry and half laughing I declined the offer He had drawn them off however and holding them in his hand Be persuaded said he only lift your feet and I will slip them on in a trice
Finding me positive in my refusal he dropped the stockings and without more ado caught me up in his arms rushed out of the room and running barefoot through the snow set me fairly on my horse All was done in a moment and before I had time to reflect on his intentions He then seized my hand and kissing it with great fervour exclaimed A thousand thanks to you for not accepting my stockings You have thereby saved yourself and me the time and toil of drawing on and drawing off Since you have taught me to wonder let me practise the lesson in wondering at your folly in wearing worsted shoes and silk stockings at a season like this Take my counsel and turn your silk to worsted and your worsted to leather Then may you hope for warm feet and dry What Leave the gate without a blessing on your counsellor
I spurred my horse into a gallop glad to escape from so strange a being I could give you many instances of behaviour equally singular and which betrayed a mixture of shrewdness and folly of kindness and impudence which justified perhaps the common notion that his intellects were unsound Nothing was more remarkable than his impenetrability to ridicule and censure You might revile him for hours and he would listen to you with invincible composure To awaken anger or shame in him was impossible He would answer but in such a way as to show him totally unaware of your true meaning He would afterwards talk to you with all the smiling affability and freedom of an old friend Every one despised him for his idleness and folly no less conspicuous in his words than his actions but no one feared him and few were angry with him till after the detection of his commerce with Betty and his inhuman treatment of his father
Have you good reasons for supposing him to have been illicitly connected with that girl
Yes Such as cannot be discredited It would not be proper for me to state these proofs Nay he never denied it When reminded on one occasion of the inference which every impartial person would draw from appearances he acknowledged with his usual placid effrontery that the inference was unavoidable He even mentioned other concurring and contemporary incidents which had eluded the observation of his censurer and which added still more force to the conclusion He was studious to palliate the vices of this woman as long as he was her only paramour but after her marriage with his father the tone was changed He confessed that she was tidy notable industrious but then she was a prostitute When charged with being instrumental in making her such and when his companions dwelt upon the depravity of reviling her for vices which she owed to him True he would say there is depravity and folly in the conduct you describe Make me out if you please to be a villain What then I was talking not of myself but of Betty Still this woman is a prostitute If it were I that made her such with more confidence may I make the charge But think not that I blame Betty Place me in her situation and I should have acted just so I should have formed just such notions of my interest and pursued it by the same means Still say I I would fain have a different woman for my fathers wife and the mistress of his family
CHAPTER XXVI
This conversation was interrupted by a messenger from my wife who desired my return immediately I had some hopes of meeting with Mervyn some days having now elapsed since his parting from us and not being conscious of any extraordinary motives for delay It was Wortley however and not Mervyn to whom I was called
My friend came to share with me his suspicions and inquietudes respecting Welbeck and Mervyn An accident had newly happened which had awakened these suspicions afresh He desired a patient audience while he explained them to me These were his words—
Today a person presented me a letter from a mercantile friend at Baltimore I easily discerned the bearer to be a seacaptain He was a man of sensible and pleasing aspect and was recommended to my friendship and counsel in the letter which he brought The letter stated that a man by name Amos Watson by profession a mariner and a resident at Baltimore had disappeared in the summer of last year in a mysterious and incomprehensible manner He was known to have arrived in this city from Jamaica and to have intended an immediate journey to his family who lived at Baltimore but he never arrived there and no trace of his existence has since been discovered The bearer had come to investigate if possible the secret of his fate and I was earnestly entreated to afford him all the assistance and advice in my power in the prosecution of his search I expressed my willingness to serve the stranger whose name was Williams and after offering him entertainment at my house which was thankfully accepted he proceeded to unfold to me the particulars of this affair His story was this
On the 20th of last June I arrived said he from the West Indies in company with Captain Watson I commanded the ship in which he came as a passenger his own ship being taken and confiscated by the English We had long lived in habits of strict friendship and I loved him for his own sake as well as because he had married my sister We landed in the morning and went to dine with Mr Keysler since dead but who then lived in Water Street He was extremely anxious to visit his family and having a few commissions to perform in the city which would not demand more than a couple of hours he determined to set out next morning in the stage Meanwhile I had engagements which required me to repair with the utmost expedition to New York I was scarcely less anxious than my brother to reach Baltimore where my friends also reside but there was an absolute necessity of going eastward I expected however to return hither in three days and then to follow Watson home Shortly after dinner we parted he to execute his commissions and I to embark in the mailstage
In the time prefixed I returned I arrived early in the morning and prepared to depart again at noon Meanwhile I called at Keyslers This is an old acquaintance of Watsons and mine and in the course of talk he expressed some surprise that Watson had so precipitately deserted his house I stated the necessity there was for Watsons immediate departure southward and added that no doubt my brother had explained this necessity
Why said Keysler it is true Captain Watson mentioned his intention of leaving town early next day but then he gave me reason to expect that he would sup and lodge with me that night whereas he has not made his appearance since Besides his trunk was brought to my house This no doubt he intended to carry home with him but here it remains still It is not likely that in the hurry of departure his baggage was forgotten Hence I inferred that he was still in town and have been puzzling myself these three days with conjectures as to what is become of him What surprises me more is that on inquiring among the few friends which he has in this city I find them as ignorant of his motions as myself I have not indeed been wholly without apprehensions that some accident or other has befallen him
I was not a little alarmed by this intimation I went myself agreeably to Keyslers directions to Watsons friends and made anxious inquiries but none of them had seen my brother since his arrival I endeavoured to recollect the commissions which he designed to execute and if possible to trace him to the spot where he last appeared He had several packets to deliver one of which was addressed to Walter Thetford Him after some inquiry I found out but unluckily he chanced to be in the country I found by questioning a clerk who transacted his business in his absence that a person who answered the minute description which I gave of Watson had been there on the day on which I parted with him and had left papers relative to the capture of one of Thetfords vessels by the English This was the sum of the information he was able to afford me
I then applied to three merchants for whom my brother had letters They all acknowledged the receipt of these letters but they were delivered through the medium of the postoffice
I was extremely anxious to reach home Urgent engagements compelled me to go on without delay I had already exhausted all the means of inquiry within my reach and was obliged to acquiesce in the belief that Watson had proceeded homeward at the time appointed and left by forgetfulness or accident his trunk behind him On examining the books kept at the stageoffices his name nowhere appeared and no conveyance by water had occurred during the last week Still the only conjecture I could form was that he had gone homeward
Arriving at Baltimore I found that Watson had not yet made his appearance His wife produced a letter which by the postmark appeared to have been put into the office at Philadelphia on the morning after our arrival and on which he had designed to commence his journey This letter had been written by my brother in my presence but I had dissuaded him from sending it since the same coach that should bear the letter was likewise to carry himself I had seen him put it unwafered in his pocketbook but this letter unaltered in any part and containing money which he had at first intended to enclose in it was now conveyed to his wifes hand In this letter he mentioned his design of setting out for Baltimore on the twentyfirst yet on that day the letter itself had been put into the office
We hoped that a short time would clear up this mystery and bring the fugitive home but from that day till the present no atom of intelligence has been received concerning him The yellow fever which quickly followed in this city and my own engagements have hindered me till now from coming hither and resuming the search
My brother was one of the most excellent of men His wife loved him to distraction and together with his children depended for subsistence upon his efforts You will not therefore be surprised that his disappearance excited in us the deepest consternation and distress but I have other and peculiar reasons for wishing to know his fate I gave him several bills of exchange on merchants of Baltimore which I had received in payment of my cargo in order that they might as soon as possible be presented and accepted These have disappeared with the bearer There is likewise another circumstance that makes his existence of no small value
There is an English family who formerly resided in Jamaica and possessed an estate of great value but who for some years have lived in the neighbourhood of Baltimore The head of this family died a year ago and left a widow and three daughters The lady thought it eligible to sell her husbands property in Jamaica the island becoming hourly more exposed to the chances of war and revolution and transfer it to the United States where she purposes henceforth to reside Watson had been her husbands friend and his probity and disinterestedness being well known she intrusted him with legal powers to sell this estate This commission was punctually performed and the purchasemoney was received In order to confer on it the utmost possible security he rolled up four bills of exchange drawn upon opulent merchants of London in a thin sheet of lead and depositing this roll in a leathern girdle fastened it round his waist and under his clothes a second set he gave to me and a third he despatched to Mr Keysler by a vessel which sailed a few days before him On our arrival in this city we found that Keysler had received those transmitted to him and which he had been charged to keep till our arrival They were now produced and together with those which I had carried were delivered to Watson By him they were joined to those in the girdle which he still wore conceiving this method of conveyance to be safer than any other and at the same time imagining it needless in so short a journey as remained to be performed to resort to other expedients
The sum which he thus bore about him was no less than ten thousand pounds sterling It constituted the whole patrimony of a worthy and excellent family and the loss of it reduces them to beggary It is gone with Watson and whither Watson has gone it is impossible even to guess
You may now easily conceive sir the dreadful disasters which may be connected with this mans fate and with what immeasurable anxiety his family and friends have regarded his disappearance That he is alive can scarcely be believed for in what situation could he be placed in which he would not be able and willing to communicate some tidings of his fate to his family
Our grief has been unspeakably aggravated by the suspicions which Mrs Maurice and her friends have allowed themselves to admit They do not scruple to insinuate that Watson tempted by so great a prize has secretly embarked for England in order to obtain payment for these bills and retain the money for his own use
No man was more impatient of poverty than Watson but no mans honesty was more inflexible He murmured at the destiny that compelled him to sacrifice his ease and risk his life upon the ocean in order to procure the means of subsistence and all the property which he had spent the best part of his life in collecting had just been ravished away from him by the English but if he had yielded to this temptation at any time it would have been on receiving these bills at Jamaica Instead of coming hither it would have been infinitely more easy and convenient to have embarked directly for London but none who thoroughly knew him can for a moment harbour a suspicion of his truth
If he be dead and if the bills are not to be recovered yet to ascertain this will at least serve to vindicate his character As long as his fate is unknown his fame will be loaded with the most flagrant imputations and if these bills be ever paid in London these imputations will appear to be justified If he has been robbed the robber will make haste to secure the payment and the Maurices may not unreasonably conclude that the robber was Watson himself Many other particulars were added by the stranger to show the extent of the evils flowing from the death of his brother and the loss of the papers which he carried with him
I was greatly at a loss continued Wortley what directions or advice to afford this man Keysler as you know died early of the pestilence but Keysler was the only resident in this city with whom Williams had any acquaintance On mentioning the propriety of preventing the sale of these bills in America by some public notice he told me that this caution had been early taken and I now remembered seeing the advertisement in which the bills had been represented as having been lost or stolen in this city and a reward of a thousand dollars was offered to any one who should restore them This caution had been published in September in all the tradingtowns from Portsmouth to Savannah but had produced no satisfaction
I accompanied Williams to the mayors office in hopes of finding in the records of his proceedings during the last six months some traces of Watson but neither these records nor the memory of the magistrate afforded us any satisfaction Watsons friends had drawn up likewise a description of the person and dress of the fugitive an account of the incidents attending his disappearance and of the papers which he had in his possession with the manner in which these papers had been secured These had been already published in the Southern newspapers and have been just reprinted in our own As the former notice had availed nothing this second expedient was thought necessary to be employed
After some reflection it occurred to me that it might be proper to renew the attempt which Williams had made to trace the footsteps of his friend to the moment of his final disappearance He had pursued Watson to Thetfords but Thetford himself had not been seen and he had been contented with the vague information of his clerk Thetford and his family including his clerk had perished and it seemed as if this source of information was dried up It was possible however that old Thetford might have some knowledge of his nephews transactions by which some light might chance to be thrown upon this obscurity I therefore called on him but found him utterly unable to afford me the light that I wished My mention of the packet which Watson had brought to Thetford containing documents respecting the capture of a certain ship reminded him of the injuries which he had received from Welbeck and excited him to renew his menaces and imputations on that wretch Having somewhat exhausted this rhetoric he proceeded to tell me what connection there was between the remembrance of his injuries and the capture of this vessel
This vessel and its cargo were in fact the property of Welbeck They had been sent to a good market and had been secured by an adequate insurance The value of this ship and cargo and the validity of the policy he had taken care to ascertain by means of his two nephews one of whom had gone out supercargo This had formed his inducement to lend his three notes to Welbeck in exchange for three other notes the whole amount of which included the equitable interest of five per cent per month on his own loan For the payment of these notes he by no means relied as the world foolishly imagined on the seeming opulence and secret funds of Welbeck These were illusions too gross to have any influence on him He was too old a bird to be decoyed into the net by such chaff No his nephew the supercargo would of course receive the produce of the voyage and so much of this produce as would pay his debt he had procured the owners authority to intercept its passage from the pocket of his nephew to that of Welbeck In case of loss he had obtained a similar security upon the policy Jamiesons proceedings had been the same with his own and no affair in which he had ever engaged had appeared to be more free from hazard than this Their calculations however though plausible were defeated The ship was taken and condemned for a cause which rendered the insurance ineffectual
I bestowed no time in reflecting on this tissue of extortions and frauds and on that course of events which so often disconcerts the stratagems of cunning The names of Welbeck and Watson were thus associated together and filled my thoughts with restlessness and suspicion Welbeck was capable of any weakness It was possible an interview had happened between these men and that the fugitive had been someway instrumental in Watsons fate These thoughts were mentioned to Williams whom the name of Welbeck threw into the utmost perturbation On finding that one of this name had dwelt in this city and that he had proved a villain he instantly admitted the most dreary forebodings
I have heard said Williams the history of this Welbeck a score of times from my brother There formerly subsisted a very intimate connection between them My brother had conferred upon one whom he thought honest innumerable benefits but all his benefits had been repaid by the blackest treachery Welbecks character and guilt had often been made the subject of talk between us but on these occasions my brothers placid and patient temper forsook him His grief for the calamities which had sprung from this man and his desire of revenge burst all bounds and transported him to a pitch of temporary frenzy I often inquired in what manner he intended to act if a meeting should take place between them He answered that doubtless he should act like a maniac in defiance of his sober principles and of the duty which he owed his family
What said I would you stab or pistol him
No I was not born for an assassin I would upbraid him in such terms as the furious moment might suggest and then challenge him to a meeting from which either he or I should not part with life I would allow time for him to make his peace with Heaven and for me to blast his reputation upon earth and to make such provision for my possible death as duty and discretion would prescribe
Now nothing is more probable than that Welbeck and my brother have met Thetford would of course mention his name and interest in the captured ship and hence the residence of this detested being in this city would be made known Their meeting could not take place without some dreadful consequence I am fearful that to that meeting we must impute the disappearance of my brother
CHAPTER XXVII
Here was new light thrown upon the character of Welbeck and new food administered to my suspicions No conclusion could be more plausible than that which Williams had drawn but how should it be rendered certain Walter Thetford or some of his family had possibly been witnesses of something which added to our previous knowledge might strengthen or prolong that clue one end of which seemed now to be put into our hands but Thetfords fatherinlaw was the only one of his family who by seasonable flight from the city had escaped the pestilence To him who still resided in the country I repaired with all speed accompanied by Williams
The old man being reminded by a variety of circumstances of the incidents of that eventful period was at length enabled to relate that he had been present at the meeting which took place between Watson and his son Walter when certain packets were delivered by the former relative as he quickly understood to the condemnation of a ship in which Thomas Thetford had gone supercargo He had noticed some emotion of the stranger occasioned by his sons mentioning the concern which Welbeck had in the vessel He likewise remembered the strangers declaring his intention of visiting Welbeck and requesting Walter to afford him directions to his house
Next morning at the breakfasttable continued the old man I adverted to yesterdays incidents and asked my son how Welbeck had borne the news of the loss of his ship He bore it said Walter as a man of his wealth ought to bear so trivial a loss But there was something very strange in his behaviour says my son when I mentioned the name of the captain who brought the papers and when I mentioned the captains design of paying him a visit he stared upon me for a moment as if he were frighted out of his wits and then snatching up his hat ran furiously out of the house This was all my son said upon that occasion but as I have since heard it was on that very night that Welbeck absconded from his creditors
I have this moment returned from this interview with old Thetford I come to you because I thought it possible that Mervyn agreeably to your expectations had returned and I wanted to see the lad once more My suspicions with regard to him have been confirmed and a warrant was this day issued for apprehending him as Welbecks accomplice
I was startled by this news My friend said I be cautious how you act I beseech you You know not in what evils you may involve the innocent Mervyn I know to be blameless but Welbeck is indeed a villain The latter I shall not be sorry to see brought to justice but the former instead of meriting punishment is entitled to rewards
So you believe on the mere assertion of the boy perhaps his plausible lies might produce the same effect upon me but I must stay till he thinks proper to exert his skill The suspicions to which he is exposed will not easily be obviated but if he has any thing to say in his defence his judicial examination will afford him the suitable opportunity Why are you so much afraid to subject his innocence to this test It was not till you heard his tale that your own suspicions were removed Allow me the same privilege of unbelief
But you do me wrong in deeming me the cause of his apprehension It is Jamieson and Thetfords work and they have not proceeded on shadowy surmises and the impulses of mere revenge Facts have come to light of which you are wholly unaware and which when known to you will conquer even your incredulity as to the guilt of Mervyn
Facts Let me know them I beseech you If Mervyn has deceived me there is an end to my confidence in human nature All limits to dissimulation and all distinctness between vice and virtue will be effaced No mans word nor force of collateral evidence shall weigh with me a hair
It was time replied my friend that your confidence in smooth features and fluent accents should have ended long ago Till I gained from my present profession some knowledge of the world a knowledge which was not gained in a moment and has not cost a trifle I was equally wise in my own conceit and in order to decide upon the truth of any ones pretensions needed only a clear view of his face and a distinct hearing of his words My folly in that respect was only to be cured however by my own experience and I suppose your credulity will yield to no other remedy These are the facts—
Mrs Wentworth the proprietor of the house in which Welbeck lived has furnished some intelligence respecting Mervyn whose truth cannot be doubted and which furnishes the strongest evidence of a conspiracy between this lad and his employer It seems that some years since a nephew of this lady left his fathers family clandestinely and has not been heard of since This nephew was intended to inherit her fortunes and her anxieties and inquiries respecting him have been endless and incessant These however have been fruitless Welbeck knowing these circumstances and being desirous of substituting a girl whom he had moulded for his purpose in place of the lost youth in the affections of the lady while living and in her testament when dead endeavoured to persuade her that the youth had died in some foreign country For this end Mervyn was to personate a kinsman of Welbeck who had just arrived from Europe and who had been a witness of her nephews death A story was no doubt to be contrived where truth should be copied with the most exquisite dexterity and the lady being prevailed upon to believe the story the way was cleared for accomplishing the remainder of the plot
In due time and after the ladys mind had been artfully prepared by Welbeck the pupil made his appearance and in a conversation full of studied ambiguities assured the lady that her nephew was dead For the present he declined relating the particulars of his death and displayed a constancy and intrepidity in resisting her entreaties that would have been admirable in a better cause Before she had time to fathom this painful mystery Welbecks frauds were in danger of detection and he and his pupil suddenly disappeared
While the plot was going forward there occurred an incident which the plotters had not foreseen or precluded and which possibly might have created some confusion or impediment in their designs A bundle was found one night in the street consisting of some coarse clothes and containing in the midst of it the miniature portrait of Mrs Wentworths nephew It fell into the hands of one of that ladys friends who immediately despatched the bundle to her Mervyn in his interview with this lady spied the portrait on the mantelpiece Led by some freak of fancy or some web of artifice he introduced the talk respecting her nephew by boldly claiming it as his but when the mode in which it had been found was mentioned he was disconcerted and confounded and precipitately withdrew
This conduct and the subsequent flight of the lad afforded ground enough to question the truth of his intelligence respecting her nephew but it has since been confuted in a letter just received from her brother in England In this letter she is informed that her nephew had been seen by one who knew him well in Charleston that some intercourse took place between the youth and the bearer of the news in the course of which the latter had persuaded the nephew to return to his family and that the youth had given some tokens of compliance The letterwriter who was father to the fugitive had written to certain friends at Charleston entreating them to use their influence with the runaway to the same end and at any rate to cherish and protect him Thus I hope you will admit that the duplicity of Mervyn is demonstrated
The facts which you have mentioned said I after some pause partly correspond with Mervyns story but the last particular is irreconcilably repugnant to it Now for the first time I begin to feel that my confidence is shaken I feel my mind bewildered and distracted by the multitude of new discoveries which have just taken place I want time to revolve them slowly to weigh them accurately and to estimate their consequences fully I am afraid to speak fearing that in the present trouble of my thoughts I may say something which I may afterwards regret I want a counsellor but you Wortley are unfit for the office Your judgment is unfurnished with the same materials your sufferings have soured your humanity and biassed your candour The only one qualified to divide with me these cares and aid in selecting the best mode of action is my wife She is mistress of Mervyns history an observer of his conduct during his abode with us and is hindered by her education and temper from deviating into rigour and malevolence Will you pardon me therefore if I defer commenting on your narrative till I have had an opportunity of reviewing it and comparing it with my knowledge of the lad collected from himself and from my own observation
Wortley could not but admit the justice of my request and after some desultory conversation we parted I hastened to communicate to my wife the various intelligence which I had lately received Mrs Althorpes portrait of the Mervyns contained lineaments which the summary detail of Arthur did not enable us fully to comprehend The treatment which the youth is said to have given to his father the illicit commerce that subsisted between him and his fathers wife the pillage of money and his fathers horse but ill accorded with the tale which we had heard and disquieted our minds with doubts though far from dictating our belief
What however more deeply absorbed our attention was the testimony of Williams and of Mrs Wentworth That which was mysterious and inscrutable to Wortley and the friends of Watson was luminous to us The coincidence between the vague hints laboriously collected by these inquirers and the narrative of Mervyn afforded the most cogent attestation of the truth of that narrative
Watson had vanished from all eyes but the spot where rested his remains was known to us The girdle spoken of by Williams would not be suspected to exist by his murderer It was unmolested and was doubtless buried with him That which was so earnestly sought and which constituted the subsistence of the Maurices would probably be found adhering to his body What conduct was incumbent upon me who possessed this knowledge
It was just to restore these bills to their true owner but how could this be done without hazardous processes and tedious disclosures To whom ought these disclosures to be made By what authority or agency could these halfdecayed limbs be dug up and the lost treasure be taken from amidst the horrible corruption in which it was immersed
This ought not to be the act of a single individual This act would entangle him in a maze of perils and suspicions of concealments and evasions from which he could not hope to escape with his reputation inviolate The proper method was through the agency of the law It is to this that Mervyn must submit his conduct The story which he told to me he must tell to the world Suspicions have fixed themselves upon him which allow him not the privilege of silence and obscurity While he continued unknown and unthought of the publication of his story would only give unnecessary birth to dangers but now dangers are incurred which it may probably contribute to lessen if not to remove
Meanwhile the return of Mervyn to the city was anxiously expected Day after day passed and no tidings were received I had business of an urgent nature which required my presence in Jersey but which in the daily expectation of the return of my young friend I postponed a week longer than rigid discretion allowed At length I was obliged to comply with the exigence and left the city but made such arrangements that I should be apprized by my wife of Mervyns return with all practicable expedition
These arrangements were superfluous for my business was despatched and my absence at an end before the youth had given us any tokens of his approach I now remembered the warnings of Wortley and his assertions that Mervyn had withdrawn himself forever from our view The event had hitherto unwelcomely coincided with these predictions and a thousand doubts and misgivings were awakened
One evening while preparing to shake off gloomy thoughts by a visit to a friend some one knocked at my door and left a billet containing these words—
Dr Stevens is requested to come immediately to the Debtors Apartments in Prune Street
This billet was without signature The handwriting was unknown and the precipitate departure of the bearer left me wholly at a loss with respect to the person of the writer or the end for which my presence was required This uncertainty only hastened my compliance with the summons
The evening was approaching—a time when the prisondoors are accustomed to be shut and strangers to be excluded This furnished an additional reason for despatch As I walked swiftly along I revolved the possible motives that might have prompted this message A conjecture was soon formed which led to apprehension and inquietude
One of my friends by name Carlton was embarrassed with debts which he was unable to discharge He had lately been menaced with arrest by a creditor not accustomed to remit any of his claims I dreaded that this catastrophe had now happened and called to mind the anguish with which this untoward incident would overwhelm his family I knew his incapacity to take away the claim of his creditor by payment or to soothe him into clemency by supplication
So prone is the human mind to create for itself distress that I was not aware of the uncertainty of this evil till I arrived at the prison I checked myself at the moment when I opened my lips to utter the name of my friend and was admitted without particular inquiries I supposed that he by whom I had been summoned hither would meet me in the common room
The apartment was filled with pale faces and withered forms The marks of negligence and poverty were visible in all but few betrayed in their features or gestures any symptoms of concern on account of their condition Ferocious gayety or stupid indifference seemed to sit upon every brow The vapour from a heated stove mingled with the fumes of beer and tallow that were spilled upon it and with the tainted breath of so promiscuous a crowd loaded the stagnant atmosphere At my first transition from the cold and pure air without to this noxious element I found it difficult to breathe A moment however reconciled me to my situation and I looked anxiously round to discover some face which I knew
Almost every mouth was furnished with a cigar and every hand with a glass of porter Conversation carried on with much emphasis of tone and gesture was not wanting Sundry groups in different corners were beguiling the tedious hours at whist Others unemployed were strolling to and fro and testified their vacancy of thought and care by humming or whistling a tune
I fostered the hope that my prognostics had deceived me This hope was strengthened by reflecting that the billet received was written in a different hand from that of my friend Meanwhile I continued my search Seated on a bench silent and aloof from the crowd his eyes fixed upon the floor and his face half concealed by his hand a form was at length discovered which verified all my conjectures and fears Carlton was he
My heart drooped and my tongue faltered at this sight I surveyed him for some minutes in silence At length approaching the bench on which he sat I touched his hand and awakened him from his reverie He looked up A momentary gleam of joy and surprise was succeeded by a gloom deeper than before
It was plain that my friend needed consolation He was governed by an exquisite sensibility to disgrace He was impatient of constraint He shrunk with fastidious abhorrence from the contact of the vulgar and the profligate His constitution was delicate and feeble Impure airs restraint from exercise unusual aliment unwholesome or incommodious accommodations and perturbed thoughts were at any time sufficient to generate disease and to deprive him of life
To these evils he was now subjected He had no money wherewith to purchase food He had been dragged hither in the morning He had not tasted a morsel since his entrance He had not provided a bed on which to lie or inquired in what room or with what companions the night was to be spent
Fortitude was not among my friends qualities He was more prone to shrink from danger than encounter it and to yield to the flood rather than sustain it but it is just to observe that his anguish on the present occasion arose not wholly from selfish considerations His parents were dead and two sisters were dependent on him for support One of these was nearly of his own age The other was scarcely emerged from childhood There was an intellectual as well as a personal resemblance between my friend and his sisters They possessed his physical infirmities his vehement passions and refinements of taste and the misery of his condition was tenfold increased by reflecting on the feelings which would be awakened in them by the knowledge of his state and the hardships to which the loss of his succour would expose them
CHAPTER XXVIII
It was not in my power to release my friend by the payment of his debt but by contracting with the keeper of the prison for his board I could save him from famine and by suitable exertions could procure him lodging as convenient as the time would admit I could promise to console and protect his sisters and by cheerful tones and frequent visits dispel some part of the evil which encompassed him
After the first surprise had subsided he inquired by what accident this meeting had been produced Conscious of my incapacity to do him any essential service and unwilling to make me a partaker in his miseries he had forborne to inform me of his condition
This assurance was listened to with some wonder I showed him the billet It had not been written by him He was a stranger to the penmanship None but the attorney and officer were apprized of his fate It was obvious to conclude that this was the interposition of some friend who knowing my affection for Carlton had taken this mysterious method of calling me to his succour
Conjectures as to the author and motives of this inter position were suspended by more urgent considerations I requested an interview with the keeper and inquired how Carlton could be best accommodated
He said that all his rooms were full but one which in consequence of the dismission of three persons in the morning had at present but one tenant This person had lately arrived was sick and had with him at this time one of his friends Carlton might divide the chamber with this person No doubt his consent would be readily given though this arrangement being the best must take place whether he consented or not
This consent I resolved immediately to seek and for that purpose desired to be led to the chamber The door of the apartment was shut I knocked for admission It was instantly opened and I entered The first person who met my view was—Arthur Mervyn
I started with astonishment Mervyns countenance betrayed nothing but satisfaction at the interview The traces of fatigue and anxiety gave place to tenderness and joy It readily occurred to me that Mervyn was the writer of the note which I had lately received To meet him within these walls and at this time was the most remote and undesirable of all contingencies The same hour had thus made me acquainted with the kindred and unwelcome fate of two beings whom I most loved
I had scarcely time to return his embrace when taking my hand he led me to a bed that stood in one corner There was stretched upon it one whom a second glance enabled me to call by his name though I had never before seen him The vivid portrait which Mervyn had drawn was conspicuous in the sunken and haggard visage before me This face had indeed proportions and lines which could never be forgotten or mistaken Welbeck when once seen or described was easily distinguished from the rest of mankind He had stronger motives than other men for abstaining from guilt the difficulty of concealment or disguise being tenfold greater in him than in others by reason of the indelible and eyeattracting marks which nature had set upon him
He was pallid and emaciated He did not open his eyes on my entrance He seemed to be asleep but before I had time to exchange glances with Mervyn or to inquire into the nature of the scene he awoke On seeing me he started and cast a look of upbraiding on my companion The latter comprehended his emotion and endeavoured to appease him
This person said he is my friend He is likewise a physician and perceiving your state to require medical assistance I ventured to send for him
Welbeck replied in a contemptuous and indignant tone Thou mistakest my condition boy My disease lies deeper than his scrutiny will ever reach I had hoped thou wert gone Thy importunities are well meant but they aggravate my miseries
He now rose from the bed and continued in a firm and resolute tone You are intruders into this apartment It is mine and I desire to be left alone
Mervyn returned at first no answer to this address He was immersed in perplexity At length raising his eyes from the floor he said My intentions are indeed honest and I am grieved that I want the power of persuasion Tomorrow perhaps I may reason more cogently with your despair or your present mood may be changed To aid my own weakness I will entreat the assistance of this friend
These words roused a new spirit in Welbeck His confusion and anger increased His tongue faltered as he exclaimed Good God what mean you Headlong and rash as you are you will not share with this person your knowledge of me Here he checked himself conscious that the words he had already uttered tended to the very end which he dreaded This consciousness added to the terror of more ample disclosures which the simplicity and rectitude of Mervyn might prompt him to make chained up his tongue and covered him with dismay
Mervyn was not long in answering—I comprehend your fears and your wishes I am bound to tell you the truth To this person your story has already been told Whatever I have witnessed under your roof whatever I have heard from your lips have been faithfully disclosed to him
The countenance of Welbeck now betrayed a mixture of incredulity and horror For a time his utterance was stifled by his complicated feelings—
It cannot be So enormous a deed is beyond thy power Thy qualities are marvellous Every new act of thine outstrips the last and belies the newest calculations But this—this perfidy exceeds—this outrage upon promises this violation of faith this blindness to the future is incredible There he stopped while his looks seemed to call upon Mervyn for a contradiction of his first assertion
I know full well how inexpiably stupid or wicked my act will appear to you but I will not prevaricate or lie I repeat that every thing is known to him Your birth your early fortunes the incidents at Charleston and Wilmington your treatment of the brother and sister your interview with Watson and the fatal issue of that interview—I have told him all just as it was told to me
Here the shock that was felt by Welbeck overpowered his caution and his strength He sunk upon the side of the bed His air was still incredulous and he continued to gaze upon Mervyn He spoke in a tone less vehement—
And hast thou then betrayed me Hast thou shut every avenue to my return to honour Am I known to be a seducer and assassin To have meditated all crimes and to have perpetrated the worst
Infamy and death are my portion I know they are reserved for me but I did not think to receive them at thy hands that under that innocent guise there lurked a heart treacherous and cruel But go leave me to myself This stroke has exterminated my remnant of hope Leave me to prepare my neck for the halter and my lips for this last and bitterest cup
Mervyn struggled with his tears and replied All this was foreseen and all this I was prepared to endure My friend and I will withdraw as you wish but tomorrow I return not to vindicate my faith or my humanity not to make you recant your charges or forgive the faults which I seem to have committed but to extricate you from your present evil or to arm you with fortitude
So saying he led the way out of the room I followed him in silence The strangeness and abruptness of this scene left me no power to assume a part in it I looked on with new and indescribable sensations I reached the street before my recollection was perfectly recovered I then reflected on the purpose that had led me to Welbecks chamber This purpose was yet unaccomplished I desired Mervyn to linger a moment while I returned into the house I once more inquired for the keeper and told him I should leave to him the province of acquainting Welbeck with the necessity of sharing his apartment with a stranger I speedily rejoined Mervyn in the street
I lost no time in requiring an explanation of the scene that I had witnessed How became you once more the companion of Welbeck Why did you not inform me by letter of your arrival at Malverton and of what occurred during your absence What is the fate of Mr Hadwin and of Wallace
Alas said he I perceive that though I have written you have never received my letters The tale of what has occurred since we parted is long and various I am not only willing but eager to communicate the story but this is no suitable place Have patience till we reach your house I have involved myself in perils and embarrassments from which I depend upon your counsel and aid to release me
I had scarcely reached my own door when I was overtaken by a servant whom I knew to belong to the family in which Carlton and his sisters resided Her message therefore was readily guessed She came as I expected to inquire for my friend who had left his home in the morning with a stranger and had not yet returned His absence had occasioned some inquietude and his sister had sent this message to me to procure what information respecting the cause of his detention I was able to give
My perplexity hindered me for some time from answering I was willing to communicate the painful truth with my own mouth I saw the necessity of putting an end to her suspense and of preventing the news from reaching her with fallacious aggravations or at an unseasonable time
I told the messenger that I had just parted with Mr Carlton that he was well and that I would speedily come and acquaint his sister with the cause of his absence
Though burning with curiosity respecting Mervyn and Welbeck I readily postponed its gratification till my visit to Miss Carlton was performed I had rarely seen this lady my friendship for her brother though ardent having been lately formed and chiefly matured by interviews at my house I had designed to introduce her to my wife but various accidents had hindered the execution of my purpose Now consolation and counsel were more needed than ever and delay or reluctance in bestowing it would have been in a high degree unpardonable
I therefore parted with Mervyn requesting him to await my return and promising to perform the engagement which compelled me to leave him with the utmost despatch On entering Miss Carltons apartment I assumed an air of as much tranquillity as possible I found the lady seated at a desk with pen in hand and parchment before her She greeted me with affectionate dignity and caught from my countenance that cheerfulness of which on my entrance she was destitute
You come said she to inform me what has made my brother a truant today Till your message was received I was somewhat anxious This day he usually spends in rambling through the fields but so bleak and stormy an atmosphere I suppose would prevent his excursion I pray sir what is it detains him
To conquer my embarrassment and introduce the subject by indirect and cautious means I eluded her question and casting an eye at the parchment—How now said I this is strange employment for a lady I knew that my friend pursued this trade and lived by binding fast the bargains which others made but I knew not that the pen was ever usurped by his sister
The usurpation was prompted by necessity My brothers impatient temper and delicate frame unfitted him for the trade He pursued it with no less reluctance than diligence devoting to the task three nights in the week and the whole of each day It would long ago have killed him had I not bethought myself of sharing his tasks The pen was irksome and toilsome at first but use has made it easy and far more eligible than the needle which was formerly my only tool
This arrangement affords my brother opportunities of exercise and recreation without diminishing our profits and my time though not less constantly is more agreeably as well as more lucratively employed than formerly
I admire your reasoning By this means provision is made against untoward accidents If sickness should disable him you are qualified to pursue the same means of support
At these words the ladys countenance changed She put her hand on my arm and said in a fluttering and hurried accent Is my brother sick
No He is in perfect health My observation was a harmless one I am sorry to observe your readiness to draw alarming inferences If I were to say that your scheme is useful to supply deficiencies not only when your brother is disabled by sickness but when thrown by some inhuman creditor into jail no doubt you would perversely and hastily infer that he is now in prison
I had scarcely ended the sentence when the piercing eyes of the lady were anxiously fixed upon mine After a moments pause she exclaimed The inference indeed is too plain I know his fate It has long been foreseen and expected and I have summoned up my equanimity to meet it Would to Heaven he may find the calamity as light as I should find it but I fear his too irritable spirit
When her fears were confirmed she started out into no vehemence of exclamation She quickly suppressed a few tears which would not be withheld and listened to my narrative of what had lately occurred with tokens of gratitude
Formal consolation was superfluous Her mind was indeed more fertile than my own in those topics which take away its keenest edge from affliction She observed that it was far from being the heaviest calamity which might have happened The creditor was perhaps vincible by arguments and supplications If these should succeed the disaster would not only be removed but that security from future molestation be gained to which they had for a long time been strangers
Should he be obdurate their state was far from being hopeless Carltons situation allowed him to pursue his profession His gains would be equal and his expenses would not be augmented By their mutual industry they might hope to amass sufficient to discharge the debt at no very remote period
What she chiefly dreaded was the pernicious influence of dejection and sedentary labour on her brothers health Yet this was not to be considered as inevitable Fortitude might be inspired by exhortation and example and no condition precluded us from every species of bodily exertion The less inclined he should prove to cultivate the means of deliverance and happiness within his reach the more necessary it became for her to stimulate and fortify his resolution
If I were captivated by the charms of this ladys person and carriage my reverence was excited by these proofs of wisdom and energy I zealously promised to concur with her in every scheme she should adopt for her own or her brothers advantage and after spending some hours with her took my leave
I now regretted the ignorance in which I had hitherto remained respecting this lady That she was in an eminent degree feminine and lovely was easily discovered but intellectual weakness had been rashly inferred from external frailty She was accustomed to shrink from observation and reserve was mistaken for timidity I called on Carlton only when numerous engagements would allow and when by some accident his customary visits had been intermitted On those occasions my stay was short and my attention chiefly confined to her brother I now resolved to atone for my ancient negligence not only by my own assiduities but by those of my wife
On my return home I found Mervyn and my wife in earnest discourse I anticipated the shock which the sensibility of the latter would receive from the tidings which I had to communicate respecting Carlton I was unwilling and yet perceived the necessity of disclosing the truth I desired to bring these women as soon as possible to the knowledge of each other but the necessary prelude to this was an acquaintance with the disaster that had happened
Scarcely had I entered the room when Mervyn turned to me and said with an air of anxiety and impatience Pray my friend have you any knowledge of Francis Carlton
The mention of this name by Mervyn produced some surprise I acknowledged my acquaintance with him
Do you know in what situation he now is
In answer to this question I stated by what singular means his situation had been made known to me and the purpose from the accomplishment of which I had just returned I inquired in my turn Whence originated this question
He had overheard the name of Carlton in the prison Two persons were communing in a corner and accident enabled him to catch this name though uttered by them in a half whisper and to discover that the person talked about had lately been conveyed thither
This name was not now heard for the first time It was connected with remembrances that made him anxious for the fate of him to whom it belonged In discourse with my wife this name chanced to be again mentioned and his curiosity was roused afresh I was willing to communicate all that I knew but Mervyns own destiny was too remarkable not to absorb all my attention and I refused to discuss any other theme till that were fully explained He postponed his own gratification to mine and consented to relate the incidents that had happened from the moment of our separation till the present
CHAPTER XXIX
At parting with you my purpose was to reach the abode of the Hadwins as speedily as possible I travelled therefore with diligence Setting out so early I expected though on foot to reach the end of my journey before noon The activity of muscles is no obstacle to thought So far from being inconsistent with intense musing it is in my own case propitious to that state of mind
Probably no one had stronger motives for ardent meditation than I My second journey to the city was prompted by reasons and attended by incidents that seemed to have a present existence To think upon them was to view more deliberately and thoroughly objects and persons that still hovered in my sight Instead of their attributes being already seen and their consequences at an end it seemed as if a series of numerous years and unintermitted contemplation were requisite to comprehend them fully and bring into existence their most momentous effects
If men be chiefly distinguished from each other by the modes in which attention is employed either on external and sensible objects or merely on abstract ideas and the creatures of reflection I may justly claim to be enrolled in the second class My existence is a series of thoughts rather than of motions Ratiocination and deduction leave my senses unemployed The fulness of my fancy renders my eye vacant and inactive Sensations do not precede and suggest but follow and are secondary to the acts of my mind
There was one motive however which made me less inattentive to the scene that was continually shifting before and without me than I am wont to be The loveliest form which I had hitherto seen was that of Clemenza Lodi I recalled her condition as I had witnessed it as Welbeck had described and as you had painted it The past was without remedy but the future was in some degree within our power to create and to fashion Her state was probably dangerous She might already be forlorn beset with temptation or with anguish or danger might only be approaching her and the worst evils be impending ones
I was ignorant of her state Could I not remove this ignorance Would not some benefit redound to her from beneficent and seasonable interposition
You had mentioned that her abode had lately been with Mrs Villars and that this lady still resided in the country The residence had been sufficiently described and I perceived that I was now approaching it In a short time I spied its painted roof and five chimneys through an avenue of catalpas
When opposite the gate which led into this avenue I paused It seemed as if this moment were to decide upon the liberty and innocence of this being In a moment I might place myself before her ascertain her true condition and point out to her the path of honour and safety This opportunity might be the last Longer delay might render interposition fruitless
But how was I to interpose I was a stranger to her language and she was unacquainted with mine To obtain access to her it was necessary only to demand it But how should I explain my views and state my wishes when an interview was gained And what expedient was it in my power to propose
Now said I I perceive the value of that wealth which I have been accustomed to despise The power of eating and drinking the nature and limits of existence and physical enjoyment are not changed or enlarged by the increase of wealth Our corporeal and intellectual wants are supplied at little expense but our own wants are the wants of others and that which remains after our own necessities are obviated it is always easy and just to employ in relieving the necessities of others
There are no superfluities in my store It is not in my power to supply this unfortunate girl with decent raiment and honest bread I have no house to which to conduct her I have no means of securing her from famine and cold
Yet though indigent and feeble I am not destitute of friends and of home Cannot she be admitted to the same asylum to which I am now going This thought was sudden and new The more it was revolved the more plausible it seemed This was not merely the sole expedient but the best that could have been suggested
The Hadwins were friendly hospitable unsuspicious Their board though simple and uncouth was wholesome and plenteous Their residence was sequestered and obscure and not obnoxious to impertinent inquiries and malignant animadversion Their frank and ingenuous temper would make them easy of persuasion and their sympathies were prompt and overflowing
I am nearly certain continued I that they will instantly afford protection to this desolate girl Why shall I not anticipate their consent and present myself to their embraces and their welcomes in her company
Slight reflection showed me that this precipitation was improper Whether Wallace had ever arrived at Malverton whether Mr Hadwin had escaped infection whether his house were the abode of security and quiet or a scene of desolation were questions yet to be determined The obvious and best proceeding was to hasten forward to afford the Hadwins if in distress the feeble consolations of my friendship or if their state were happy to procure their concurrence to my scheme respecting Clemenza
Actuated by these considerations I resumed my journey Looking forward I perceived a chaise and horse standing by the lefthand fence at the distance of some hundred yards This object was not uncommon or strange and therefore it was scarcely noticed When I came near however methought I recognised in this carriage the same in which my importunities had procured a seat for the languishing Wallace in the manner which I have formerly related
It was a crazy vehicle and oldfashioned When once seen it could scarcely be mistaken or forgotten The horse was held by his bridle to a post but the seat was empty My solicitude with regard to Wallaces destiny of which he to whom the carriage belonged might possibly afford me some knowledge made me stop and reflect on what measures it was proper to pursue
The rider could not be at a great distance from this spot His absence would probably be short By lingering a few minutes an interview might be gained and the uncertainty and suspense of some hours be thereby precluded I therefore waited and the same person whom I had formerly encountered made his appearance in a short time from under a copse that skirted the road
He recognised me with more difficulty than attended my recognition of him The circumstances however of our first meeting were easily recalled to his remembrance I eagerly inquired when and where he had parted with the youth who had been on that occasion intrusted to his care
He answered that on leaving the city and inhaling the purer air of the fields and woods Wallace had been in a wonderful degree invigorated and refreshed An instantaneous and total change appeared to have been wrought in him He no longer languished with fatigue or fear but became full of gayety and talk
The suddenness of this transition the levity with which he related and commented on his recent dangers and evils excited the astonishment of his companion to whom he not only communicated the history of his disease but imparted many anecdotes of a humorous kind Some of these my companion repeated I heard them with regret and dissatisfaction They betokened a mind vitiated by intercourse with the thoughtless and depraved of both sexes and particularly with infamous and profligate women
My companion proceeded to mention that Wallaces exhilaration lasted but for a short time and disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared He was seized with deadly sickness and insisted upon leaving the carriage whose movements shocked his stomach and head to an insupportable degree His companion was not void of apprehensions on his own account but was unwilling to desert him and endeavoured to encourage him His efforts were vain Though the nearest house was at the distance of some hundred yards and though it was probable that the inhabitants of this house would refuse to accommodate one in his condition yet Wallace could not be prevailed on to proceed and in spite of persuasion and remonstrance left the carriage and threw himself on the grassy bank beside the road
This person was not unmindful of the hazard which he incurred by contact with a sick man He conceived himself to have performed all that was consistent with duty to himself and to his family and Wallace persisting in affirming that by attempting to ride farther he should merely hasten his death was at length left to his own guidance
These were unexpected and mournful tidings I had fondly imagined that his safety was put beyond the reach of untoward accidents Now however there was reason to suppose him to have perished by a lingering and painful disease rendered fatal by the selfishness of mankind by the want of seasonable remedies and exposure to inclement airs Some uncertainty however rested on his fate It was my duty to remove it and to carry to the Hadwins no mangled and defective tale Where I asked had Wallace and his companion parted
It was about three miles farther onward The spot and the house within view from the spot were accurately described In this house it was possible that Wallace had sought an asylum and some intelligence respecting him might be gained from its inhabitants My informant was journeying to the city so that we were obliged to separate
In consequence of this mans description of Wallaces deportment and the proofs of a dissolute and thoughtless temper which he had given I began to regard his death as an event less deplorable Such a one was unworthy of a being so devoutly pure so ardent in fidelity and tenderness as Susan Hadwin If he loved it was probable that in defiance of his vows he would seek a different companion If he adhered to his first engagements his motives would be sordid and the disclosure of his latent defects might produce more exquisite misery to his wife than his premature death or treacherous desertion
The preservation of this man was my sole motive for entering the infected city and subjecting my own life to the hazards from which my escape may almost be esteemed miraculous Was not the end disproportioned to the means Was there arrogance in believing my life a price too great to be given for his
I was not indeed sorry for the past My purpose was just and the means which I selected were the best my limited knowledge supplied My happiness should be drawn from reflecting on the equity of my intentions That these intentions were frustrated by the ignorance of others or my own was the consequence of human frailty Honest purposes though they may not bestow happiness on others will at least secure it to him who fosters them
By these reflections my regrets were dissipated and I prepared to rejoice alike whether Wallace should be found to have escaped or to have perished The house to which I had been directed was speedily brought into view I inquired for the master or mistress of the mansion and was conducted to a lady of a plain and housewifely appearance
My curiosity was fully gratified Wallace whom my description easily identified had made his appearance at her door on the evening of the day on which he left the city The dread of the fever was descanted on with copious and rude eloquence I supposed her eloquence on this theme to be designed to apologize to me for her refusing entrance to the sick man The peroration however was different Wallace was admitted and suitable attention paid to his wants
Happily the guest had nothing to struggle with but extreme weakness Repose nourishing diet and salubrious airs restored him in a short time to health He lingered under this roof for three weeks and then without any professions of gratitude or offers of pecuniary remuneration or information of the course which he determined to take he left them
These facts added to that which I had previously known threw no advantageous light upon the character of Wallace It was obvious to conclude that he had gone to Malverton and thither there was nothing to hinder me from following him
Perhaps one of my grossest defects is a precipitate temper I choose my path suddenly and pursue it with impetuous expedition In the present instance my resolution was conceived with unhesitating zeal and I walked the faster that I might the sooner execute it Miss Hadwin deserved to be happy Love was in her heart the allabsorbing sentiment A disappointment there was a supreme calamity Depravity and folly must assume the guise of virtue before it can claim her affection This disguise might be maintained for a time but its detection must inevitably come and the sooner this detection takes place the more beneficial it must prove
I resolved to unbosom myself with equal and unbounded confidence to Wallace and his mistress I would choose for this end not the moment when they were separate but that in which they were together My knowledge and the sources of my knowledge relative to Wallace should be unfolded to the lady with simplicity and truth The lover should be present to confute to extenuate or to verify the charges
During the rest of the day these images occupied the chief place in my thoughts The road was miry and dark and my journey proved to be more tedious and fatiguing than I expected At length just as the evening closed the wellknown habitation appeared in view Since my departure winter had visited the world and the aspect of nature was desolate and dreary All around this house was vacant negligent forlorn The contrast between these appearances and those which I had noticed on my first approach to it when the ground and the trees were decked with the luxuriance and vivacity of summer was mournful and seemed to foretoken ill My spirits drooped as I noticed the general inactivity and silence
I entered without warning the door that led into the parlour No face was to be seen or voice heard The chimney was ornamented as in summer with evergreen shrubs Though it was now the second month of frost and snow fire did not appear to have been lately kindled on this hearth
This was a circumstance from which nothing good could be deduced Had there been those to share its comforts who had shared them on former years this was the place and hour at which they commonly assembled A door on one side led through a narrow entry into the kitchen I opened this door and passed towards the kitchen
No one was there but an old man squatted in the chimneycorner His face though wrinkled denoted undecayed health and an unbending spirit A homespun coat leathern breeches wrinkled with age and blue yarn hose were well suited to his lean and shrivelled form On his right knee was a wooden bowl which he had just replenished from a pipkin of hasty pudding still smoking on the coals and in his left hand a spoon which he had at that moment plunged into a bottle of molasses that stood beside him
This action was suspended by my entrance He looked up and exclaimed Heyday whos this that comes into other peoples houses without so much as saying by your leave Whats thee business Whos thee want
I had never seen this personage before I supposed it to be some new domestic and inquired for Mr Hadwin
Ah replied he with a sigh William Hadwin Is it him thee wants Poor man He is gone to rest many days since
My heart sunk within me at these tidings Dead said I do you mean that he is dead—This exclamation was uttered in a tone of some vehemence It attracted the attention of some one who was standing without who immediately entered the kitchen It was Eliza Hadwin The moment she beheld me she shrieked aloud and rushing into my arms fainted away
The old man dropped his bowl and starting from his seat stared alternately at me and at the breathless girl My emotion made up of joy and sorrow and surprise rendered me for a moment powerless as she At length he said I understand this I know who thee is and will tell her thees come So saying he hastily left the room
CHAPTER XXX
In a short time this gentle girl recovered her senses She did not withdraw herself from my sustaining arm but leaning on my bosom she resigned herself to passionate weeping I did not endeavour to check this effusion believing that its influence would be salutary
I had not forgotten the thrilling sensibility and artless graces of this girl I had not forgotten the scruples which had formerly made me check a passion whose tendency was easily discovered These new proofs of her affection were at once mournful and delightful The untimely fate of her father and my friend pressed with new force upon my heart and my tears in spite of my fortitude mingled with hers
The attention of both was presently attracted by a faint scream which proceeded from above Immediately tottering footsteps were heard in the passage and a figure rushed into the room pale emaciated haggard and wild She cast a piercing glance at me uttered a feeble exclamation and sunk upon the floor without signs of life
It was not difficult to comprehend this scene I now conjectured what subsequent inquiry confirmed that the old man had mistaken me for Wallace and had carried to the elder sister the news of his return This fatal disappointment of hopes that had nearly been extinct and which were now so powerfully revived could not be endured by a frame verging to dissolution
This object recalled all the energies of Eliza and engrossed all my solicitude I lifted the fallen girl in my arms and guided by her sister carried her to her chamber I had now leisure to contemplate the changes which a few months had made in this lovely frame I turned away from the spectacle with anguish but my wandering eyes were recalled by some potent fascination and fixed in horror upon a form which evinced the last stage of decay Eliza knelt on one side and leaning her face upon the bed endeavoured in vain to smother her sobs I sat on the other motionless and holding the passive and withered hand of the sufferer
I watched with ineffable solicitude the return of life It returned at length but merely to betray symptoms that it would speedily depart forever For a time my faculties were palsied and I was made an impotent spectator of the ruin that environed me This pusillanimity quickly gave way to resolutions and reflections better suited to the exigencies of the time
The first impulse was to summon a physician but it was evident that the patient had been sinking by slow degrees to this state and that the last struggle had begun Nothing remained but to watch her while expiring and perform for her when dead the rites of interment The survivor was capable of consolation and of succour I went to her and drew her gently into another apartment The old man tremulous and wonderstruck seemed anxious to perform some service I directed him to kindle a fire in Elizas chamber Meanwhile I persuaded my gentle friend to remain in this chamber and resign to me the performance of every office which her sisters condition required I sat beside the bed of the dying till the mortal struggle was past
I perceived that the house had no inhabitant besides the two females and the old man I went in search of the latter and found him crouched as before at the kitchenfire smoking his pipe I placed myself on the same bench and entered into conversation with him
I gathered from him that he had for many years been Mr Hadwins servant That lately he had cultivated a small farm in this neighbourhood for his own advantage Stopping one day in October at the tavern he heard that his old master had lately been in the city had caught the fever and after his return had died with it The moment he became sick his servants fled from the house and the neighbours refused to approach it The task of attending his sickbed was allotted to his daughters and it was by their hands that his grave was dug and his body covered with earth The same terror of infection existed after his death as before and these hapless females were deserted by all mankind
Old Caleb was no sooner informed of these particulars than he hurried to the house and had since continued in their service His heart was kind but it was easily seen that his skill extended only to execute the directions of another Grief for the death of Wallace and her father preyed upon the health of the eldest daughter The younger became her nurse and Caleb was always at hand to execute any orders the performance of which was on a level with his understanding Their neighbours had not withheld their good offices but they were still terrified and estranged by the phantoms of pestilence
During the last week Susan had been too weak to rise from her bed yet such was the energy communicated by the tidings that Wallace was alive and had returned that she leaped upon her feet and rushed downstairs How little did that man deserve so strenuous and immortal an affection
I would not allow myself to ponder on the sufferings of these women I endeavoured to think only of the best expedients for putting an end to these calamities After a moments deliberation I determined to go to a house at some miles distance the dwelling of one who though not exempt from the reigning panic had shown more generosity towards these unhappy girls than others During my former abode in this district I had ascertained his character and found him to be compassionate and liberal
Overpowered by fatigue and watching Eliza was no sooner relieved by my presence of some portion of her cares than she sunk into profound slumber I directed Caleb to watch the house till my return which should be before midnight and then set out for the dwelling of Mr Ellis
The weather was temperate and moist and rendered the footing of the meadows extremely difficult The ground that had lately been frozen and covered with snow was now changed into gullies and pools and this was no time to be fastidious in the choice of paths A brook swelled by the recent thaw was likewise to be passed The rail which I had formerly placed over it by way of bridge had disappeared and I was obliged to wade through it At length I approached the house to which I was going
At so late an hour farmers and farmers servants are usually abed and their threshold is intrusted to their watchdogs Two belonged to Mr Ellis whose ferocity and vigilance were truly formidable to a stranger but I hoped that in me they would recognise an old acquaintance and suffer me to approach In this I was not mistaken Though my person could not be distinctly seen by starlight they seemed to scent me from afar and met me with a thousand caresses
Approaching the house I perceived that its tenants were retired to their repose This I expected and hastened to awaken Mr Ellis by knocking briskly at the door Presently he looked out of a window above and in answer to his inquiries in which impatience at being so unseasonably disturbed was mingled with anxiety I told him my name and entreated him to come down and allow me a few minutes conversation He speedily dressed himself and opening the kitchen door we seated ourselves before the fire
My appearance was sufficiently adapted to excite his wonder he had heard of my elopement from the house of Mr Hadwin he was a stranger to the motives that prompted my departure and to the events that had befallen me and no interview was more distant from his expectations than the present His curiosity was written in his features but this was no time to gratify his curiosity The end that I now had in view was to procure accommodation for Eliza Hadwin in this mans house For this purpose it was my duty to describe with simplicity and truth the inconveniences which at present surrounded her and to relate all that had happened since my arrival
I perceived that my tale excited his compassion and I continued with new zeal to paint to him the helplessness of this girl The death of her father and sister left her the property of this farm Her sex and age disqualified her for superintending the harvestfield and the threshingfloor and no expedient was left but to lease the land to another and taking up her abode in the family of some kinsman or friend to subsist as she might easily do upon the rent Meanwhile her continuance in this house was equally useless and dangerous and I insinuated to my companion the propriety of immediately removing her to his own
Some hesitation and reluctance appeared in him which I immediately ascribed to an absurd dread of infection I endeavoured by appealing to his reason as well as to his pity to conquer this dread I pointed out the true cause of the death of the elder daughter and assured him the youngest knew no indisposition but that which arose from distress I offered to save him from any hazard that might attend his approaching the house by accompanying her hither myself All that her safety required was that his doors should not be shut against her when she presented herself before them
Still he was fearful and reluctant and at length mentioned that her uncle resided not more than sixteen miles farther that he was her natural protector and he dared to say would find no difficulty in admitting her into his house For his part there might be reason in what I said but he could not bring himself to think but that there was still some danger of the fever It was right to assist people in distress tobesure but to risk his own life he did not think to be his duty He was no relation of the family and it was the duty of relations to help each other Her uncle was the proper person to assist her and no doubt he would be as willing as able
The marks of dubiousness and indecision which accompanied these words encouraged me in endeavouring to subdue his scruples The increase of his aversion to my scheme kept pace with my remonstrances and he finally declared that he would on no account consent to it
Ellis was by no means hard of heart His determination did not prove the coldness of his charity but merely the strength of his fears He was himself an object more of compassion than of anger and he acted like the man whose fear of death prompts him to push his companion from the plank which saved him from drowning but which is unable to sustain both Finding him invincible to my entreaties I thought upon the expedient which he suggested of seeking the protection of her uncle It was true that the loss of parents had rendered her uncle her legal protector His knowledge of the world his house and property and influence would perhaps fit him for this office in a more eminent degree than I was fitted To seek a different asylum might indeed be unjust to both and after some reflection I not only dismissed the regret which Elliss refusal had given me but even thanked him for the intelligence and counsel which he had afforded me I took leave of him and hastened back to Hadwins
Eliza by Calebs report was still asleep There was no urgent necessity for awakening her but something was forthwith to be done with regard to the unhappy girl that was dead The proceeding incumbent on us was obvious All that remained was to dig a grave and to deposit the remains with as much solemnity and decency as the time would permit There were two methods of doing this I might wait till the next day till a coffin could be made and conveyed hither till the woman whose trade it was to make and put on the habiliments assigned by custom to the dead could be sought out and hired to attend till kindred friends and neighbours could be summoned to the obsequies till a carriage were provided to remove the body to a buryingground belonging to a meetinghouse and five miles distant till those whose trade it was to dig graves had prepared one within the sacred enclosure for her reception or neglecting this toilsome tedious and expensive ceremonial I might seek the grave of Hadwin and lay the daughter by the side of her parent
Perhaps I was strong in my preference of the latter mode The customs of burial may in most cases be in themselves proper If the customs be absurd yet it may be generally proper to adhere to them but doubtless there are cases in which it is our duty to omit them I conceived the present case to be such a one
The season was bleak and inclement Much time labour and expense would be required to go through the customary rites There was none but myself to perform these and I had not the suitable means The misery of Eliza would only be prolonged by adhering to these forms and her fortune be needlessly diminished by the expenses unavoidably to be incurred
After musing upon these ideas for some time I rose from my seat and desired Caleb to follow me We proceeded to an outer shed where farmers tools used to be kept I supplied him and myself with a spade and requested him to lead me to the spot where Mr Hadwin was laid
He betrayed some hesitation to comply and appeared struck with some degree of alarm as if my purpose had been to molest instead of securing the repose of the dead I removed his doubts by explaining my intentions but he was scarcely less shocked on discovering the truth than he had been alarmed by his first suspicions He stammered out his objections to my scheme There was but one mode of burial he thought that was decent and proper and he could not be free to assist me in pursuing any other mode
Perhaps Calebs aversion to the scheme might have been easily overcome but I reflected that a mind like his was at once flexible and obstinate He might yield to arguments and entreaties and act by their immediate impulse but the impulse passed away in a moment old and habitual convictions were resumed and his deviation from the beaten track would be merely productive of compunction His aid on the present occasion though of some use was by no means indispensable I forbore to solicit his concurrence or even to vanquish the scruples he entertained against directing me to the grave of Hadwin It was a groundless superstition that made one spot more suitable for this purpose than another I desired Caleb in a mild tone to return to the kitchen and leave me to act as I thought proper I then proceeded to the orchard
One corner of this field was somewhat above the level of the rest The tallest tree of the group grew there and there I had formerly placed a bench and made it my retreat at periods of leisure It had been recommended by its sequestered situation its luxuriant verdure and profound quiet On one side was a potatofield on the other a melonpatch and before me in rows some hundreds of appletrees Here I was accustomed to seek the benefits of contemplation and study the manuscripts of Lodi A few months had passed since I had last visited this spot What revolutions had since occurred and how gloomily contrasted was my present purpose with what had formerly led me hither
In this spot I had hastily determined to dig the grave of Susan The grave was dug All that I desired was a cavity of sufficient dimensions to receive her This being made I returned to the house lifted the corpse in my arms and bore it without delay to the spot Caleb seated in the kitchen and Eliza asleep in her chamber were wholly unapprized of my motions The grave was covered the spade reposited under the shed and my seat by the kitchenfire resumed in a time apparently too short for so solemn and momentous a transaction
I look back upon this incident with emotions not easily described It seems as if I acted with too much precipitation as if insensibility and not reason had occasioned that clearness of conceptions and bestowed that firmness of muscles which I then experienced I neither trembled nor wavered in my purpose I bore in my arms the being whom I had known and loved through the whistling gale and intense darkness of a winters night I heaped earth upon her limbs and covered them from human observation without fluctuations or tremors though not without feelings that were awful and sublime
Perhaps some part of my steadfastness was owing to my late experience and some minds may be more easily inured to perilous emergencies than others If reason acquires strength only by the diminution of sensibility perhaps it is just for sensibility to be diminished
CHAPTER XXXI
The safety of Eliza was the object that now occupied my cares To have slept after her example had been most proper but my uncertainty with regard to her fate and my desire to conduct her to some other home kept my thoughts in perpetual motion I waited with impatience till she should awake and allow me to consult with her on plans for futurity
Her sleep terminated not till the next day had arisen Having recovered the remembrance of what had lately happened she inquired for her sister She wanted to view once more the face and kiss the lips of her beloved Susan Some relief to her anguish she expected to derive from this privilege
When informed of the truth when convinced that Susan had disappeared forever she broke forth into fresh passion It seemed as if her loss was not hopeless or complete as long as she was suffered to behold the face of her friend and to touch her lips She accused me of acting without warrant and without justice of defrauding her of her dearest and only consolation and of treating her sisters sacred remains with barbarous indifference and rudeness
I explained in the gentlest terms the reasons of my conduct I was not surprised or vexed that she at first treated them as futile and as heightening my offence Such was the impulse of a grief which was properly excited by her loss To be tranquil and steadfast in the midst of the usual causes of impetuosity and agony is either the prerogative of wisdom that sublimes itself above all selfish considerations or the badge of giddy and unfeeling folly
The torrent was at length exhausted Upbraiding was at an end and gratitude and tenderness and implicit acquiescence in any scheme which my prudence should suggest succeeded I mentioned her uncle as one to whom it would be proper in her present distress to apply
She started and betrayed uneasiness at this name It was evident that she by no means concurred with me in my notions of propriety that she thought with aversion of seeking her uncles protection I requested her to state her objections to this scheme or to mention any other which she thought preferable
She knew nobody She had not a friend in the world but myself She had never been out of her fathers house She had no relation but her uncle Philip and he—she could not live with him I must not insist upon her going to his house It was not the place for her She should never be happy there
I was at first inclined to suspect in my friend some capricious and groundless antipathy I desired her to explain what in her uncles character made him so obnoxious She refused to be more explicit and persisted in thinking that his house was no suitable abode for her
Finding her in this respect invincible I sought for some other expedient Might she not easily be accommodated as a boarder in the city or some village or in a remote quarter of the country Ellis her nearest and most opulent neighbour had refused to receive her but there were others who had not his fears There were others within the compass of a days journey who were strangers to the cause of Hadwins death but would it not be culpable to take advantage of that ignorance Their compliance ought not to be the result of deception
While thus engaged the incidents of my late journey recurred to my remembrance and I asked Is not the honest woman who entertained Wallace just such a person as that of whom I am in search Her treatment of Wallace shows her to be exempt from chimerical fears proves that she has room in her house for an occasional inmate
Encouraged by these views I told my weeping companion that I had recollected a family in which she would be kindly treated and that if she chose we would not lose a moment in repairing thither Horses belonging to the farm grazed in the meadows and a couple of these would carry us in a few hours to the place which I had selected for her residence On her eagerly assenting to this proposal I inquired in whose care and in what state our present habitation should be left
The fathers property now belonged to the daughter Elizas mind was quick active and sagacious but her total inexperience gave her sometimes the appearance of folly She was eager to fly from this house and to resign herself and her property without limitation or condition to my control Our intercourse had been short but she relied on my protection and counsel as absolutely as she had been accustomed to do upon her fathers
She knew not what answer to make to my inquiry Whatever I pleased to do was the best What did I think ought to be done
Ah thought I sweet artless and simple girl how wouldst thou have fared if Heaven had not sent me to thy succour There are beings in the world who would make a selfish use of thy confidence who would beguile thee at once of innocence and property Such am not I Thy welfare is a precious deposit and no father or brother could watch over it with more solicitude than I will do
I was aware that Mr Hadwin might have fixed the destination of his property and the guardianship of his daughters by will On suggesting this to my friend it instantly reminded her of an incident that took place after his last return from the city He had drawn up his will and gave it into Susans possession who placed it in a drawer whence it was now taken by my friend
By this will his property was now found to be bequeathed to his two daughters and his brother Philip Hadwin was named executor and guardian to his daughters till they should be twenty years old This name was no sooner heard by my friend than she exclaimed in a tone of affright Executor My uncle What is that What power does that give him
I know not exactly the power of executors He will doubtless have possession of your property till you are twenty years of age Your person will likewise be under his care till that time
Must he decide where I am to live
He is vested with all the power of a father
This assurance excited the deepest consternation She fixed her eyes on the ground and was lost for a time in the deepest reverie Recovering at length she said with a sigh What if my father had made no will
In that case a guardian could not be dispensed with but the right of naming him would belong to yourself
And my uncle would have nothing to do with my affairs
I am no lawyer said I but I presume all authority over your person and property would devolve upon the guardian of your own choice
Then I am free Saying this with a sudden motion she tore in several pieces the will which during this dialogue she had held in her hand and threw the fragments into the fire
No action was more unexpected to me than this My astonishment hindered me from attempting to rescue the paper from the flames It was consumed in a moment I was at a loss in what manner to regard this sacrifice It denoted a force of mind little in unison with that simplicity and helplessness which this girl had hitherto displayed It argued the deepest apprehensions of mistreatment from her uncle Whether his conduct had justified this violent antipathy I had no means of judging Mr Hadwins choice of him as his executor was certainly one proof of his integrity
My abstraction was noticed by Eliza with visible anxiety It was plain that she dreaded the impression which this act of seeming temerity had made upon me Do not be angry with me said she perhaps I have been wrong but I could not help it I will have but one guardian and one protector
The deed was irrevocable In my present ignorance of the domestic history of the Hadwins I was unqualified to judge how far circumstances might extenuate or justify the act On both accounts therefore it was improper to expatiate upon it
It was concluded to leave the care of the house to honest Caleb to fasten closets and drawers and carrying away the money which was found in one of them and which amounted to no inconsiderable sum to repair to the house formerly mentioned The air was cold a heavy snow began to fall in the night the wind blew tempestuously and we were compelled to confront it
In leaving her dwelling in which she had spent her whole life the unhappy girl gave way afresh to her sorrow It made her feeble and helpless When placed upon the horse she was scarcely able to maintain her seat Already chilled by the cold blinded by the drifting snow and cut by the blast all my remonstrances were needed to inspire her with resolution
I am not accustomed to regard the elements or suffer them to retard or divert me from any design that I have formed I had overlooked the weak and delicate frame of my companion and made no account of her being less able to support cold and fatigue than myself It was not till we had made some progress in our way that I began to view in their true light the obstacles that were to be encountered I conceived it however too late to retreat and endeavoured to push on with speed
My companion was a skilful rider but her steed was refractory and unmanageable She was able however to curb his spirit till we had proceeded ten or twelve miles from Malverton The wind and the cold became too violent to be longer endured and I resolved to stop at the first house which should present itself to my view for the sake of refreshment and warmth
We now entered a wood of some extent at the termination of which I remembered that a dwelling stood To pass this wood therefore with expedition was all that remained before we could reach a hospitable asylum I endeavoured to sustain by this information the sinking spirits of my companion While busy in conversing with her a blast of irresistible force twisted off the highest branch of a tree before us It fell in the midst of the road at the distance of a few feet from her horses head Terrified by this accident the horse started from the path and rushing into the wood in a moment threw himself and his rider on the ground by encountering the rugged stock of an oak
I dismounted and flew to her succour The snow was already dyed with the blood which flowed from some wound in her head and she lay without sense or motion My terrors did not hinder me from anxiously searching for the hurt which was received and ascertaining the extent of the injury Her forehead was considerably bruised but to my unspeakable joy the blood flowed from the nostrils and was therefore to be regarded as no mortal symptom
I lifted her in my arms and looked around me for some means of relief The house at which I proposed to stop was upwards of a mile distant I remembered none that was nearer To place the wounded girl on my own horse and proceed gently to the house in question was the sole expedient but at present she was senseless and might on recovering be too feeble to sustain her own weight
To recall her to life was my first duty but I was powerless or unacquainted with the means I gazed upon her features and endeavoured by pressing her in my arms to inspire her with some warmth I looked towards the road and listened for the wishedfor sound of some carriage that might be prevailed on to stop and receive her Nothing was more improbable than that either pleasure or business would induce men to encounter so chilling and vehement a blast To be lighted on by some traveller was therefore a hopeless event
Meanwhile Elizas swoon continued and my alarm increased What effect her halffrozen blood would have in prolonging this condition or preventing her return to life awakened the deepest apprehensions I left the wood still bearing her in my arms and reentered the road from the desire of descrying as soon as possible the coming passenger I looked this way and that and again listened Nothing but the sweeping blast rent and fallen branches and snow that filled and obscured the air were perceivable Each moment retarded the course of my own blood and stiffened my sinews and made the state of my companion more desperate How was I to act To perish myself or see her perish was an ignoble fate courage and activity were still able to avert it My horse stood near docile and obsequious to mount him and to proceed on my way holding my lifeless burden in my arms was all that remained
At this moment my attention was called by several voices issuing from the wood It was the note of gayety and glee Presently a sleigh with several persons of both sexes appeared in a road which led through the forest into that in which I stood They moved at a quick pace but their voices were hushed and they checked the speed of their horses on discovering us No occurrence was more auspicious than this for I relied with perfect confidence on the benevolence of these persons and as soon as they came near claimed their assistance
My story was listened to with sympathy and one of the young men leaping from the sleigh assisted me in placing Eliza in the place which he had left A female of sweet aspect and engaging manners insisted upon turning back and hastening to the house where it seems her father resided and which the party had just left I rode after the sleigh which in a few minutes arrived at the house The dwelling was spacious and neat and a venerable man and woman alarmed by the quick return of the young people came forth to know the cause They received their guest with the utmost tenderness and provided her with all the accommodations which her condition required Their daughter relinquished the scheme of pleasure in which she had been engaged and compelling her companions to depart without her remained to nurse and console the sick
A little time showed that no lasting injury had been suffered Contusions more troublesome than dangerous and easily curable by such applications as rural and traditional wisdom has discovered were the only consequences of the fall My mind being relieved from apprehensions on this score had leisure to reflect upon the use which might be made of the present state of things
When I remarked the structure of this house and the features and deportment of its inhabitants methought I discerned a powerful resemblance between this family and Hadwins It seemed as if some benignant power had led us hither as to the most suitable asylum that could be obtained and in order to supply to the forlorn Eliza the place of those parents and that sister she had lost I conceived that if their concurrence could be gained no abode was more suitable than this No time was to be lost in gaining this concurrence The curiosity of our host and hostess whose name was Curling speedily afforded me an opportunity to disclose the history and real situation of my friend There were no motives to reserve or prevarication There was nothing which I did not faithfully and circumstantially relate I concluded with stating my wishes that they would admit my friend as a boarder into their house
The old man was warm in his concurrence His wife betrayed some scruples which however her husbands arguments and mine removed I did not even suppress the tenor and destruction of the will and the antipathy which Eliza had conceived for her uncle and which I declared myself unable to explain It presently appeared that Mr Curling had some knowledge of Philip Hadwin and that the latter had acquired the repute of being obdurate and profligate He employed all means to accomplish his selfish ends and would probably endeavour to usurp the property which his brother had left To provide against his power and his malice would be particularly incumbent on us and my new friend readily promised his assistance in the measures which we should take to that end
CHAPTER XXXII
The state of my feelings may be easily conceived to consist of mixed but on the whole of agreeable sensations The death of Hadwin and his elder daughter could not be thought upon without keen regrets These it was useless to indulge and were outweighed by reflections on the personal security in which the survivor was now placed It was hurtful to expend my unprofitable cares upon the dead while there existed one to whom they could be of essential benefit and in whose happiness they would find an ample compensation
This happiness however was still incomplete It was still exposed to hazard and much remained to be done before adequate provision was made against the worst of evils poverty I now found that Eliza being only fifteen years old stood in need of a guardian and that the forms of law required that some one should make himself her fathers administrator Mr Curling being tolerably conversant with these subjects pointed out the mode to be pursued and engaged to act on this occasion as Elizas friend
There was another topic on which my happiness as well as that of my friend required us to form some decision I formerly mentioned that during my abode at Malverton I had not been insensible to the attractions of this girl An affection had stolen upon me for which it was easily discovered that I should not have been denied a suitable return My reasons for stifling these emotions at that time have been mentioned It may now be asked what effect subsequent events had produced on my feelings and how far partaking and relieving her distresses had revived a passion which may readily be supposed to have been at no time entirely extinguished
The impediments which then existed were removed Our union would no longer risk the resentment or sorrow of her excellent parent She had no longer a sister to divide with her the property of the farm and make what was sufficient for both when living together too little for either separately Her youth and simplicity required beyond most others a legal protector and her happiness was involved in the success of those hopes which she took no pains to conceal
As to me it seemed at first view as if every incident conspired to determine my choice Omitting all regard to the happiness of others my own interest could not fail to recommend a scheme by which the precious benefits of competence and independence might be honestly obtained The excursions of my fancy had sometimes carried me beyond the bounds prescribed by my situation but they were nevertheless limited to that field to which I had once some prospect of acquiring a title All I wanted for the basis of my gaudiest and most dazzling structures was a hundred acres of ploughland and meadow Here my spirit of improvement my zeal to invent and apply new maxims of household luxury and convenience new modes and instruments of tillage new arts connected with orchard garden and cornfield were supplied with abundant scope Though the want of these would not benumb my activity or take away content the possession would confer exquisite and permanent enjoyments
My thoughts have ever hovered over the images of wife and children with more delight than over any other images My fancy was always active on this theme and its reveries sufficiently ecstatic and glowing but since my intercourse with this girl my scattered visions were collected and concentrated I had now a form and features before me a sweet and melodious voice vibrated in my ear my soul was filled as it were with her lineaments and gestures actions and looks All ideas possessing any relation to beauty or sex appeared to assume this shape They kept an immovable place in my mind they diffused around them an ineffable complacency Love is merely of value as a prelude to a more tender intimate and sacred union Was I not in love and did I not pant after the irrevocable bounds the boundless privileges of wedlock
The question which others might ask I have asked myself—Was I not in love I am really at a loss for an answer There seemed to be irresistible weight in the reasons why I should refuse to marry and even forbear to foster love in my friend I considered my youth my defective education and my limited views I had passed from my cottage into the world I had acquired even in my transient sojourn among the busy haunts of men more knowledge than the lucubrations and employments of all my previous years had conferred Hence I might infer the childlike immaturity of my understanding and the rapid progress I was still capable of making Was this an age to form an irrevocable contract to choose the companion of my future life the associate of my schemes of intellectual and benevolent activity
I had reason to contemn my own acquisitions but were not those of Eliza still more slender Could I rely upon the permanence of her equanimity and her docility to my instructions What qualities might not time unfold and how little was I qualified to estimate the character of one whom no vicissitude or hardship had approached before the death of her father—whose ignorance was indeed great when it could justly be said even to exceed my own
Should I mix with the world enroll myself in different classes of society be a witness to new scenes might not my modes of judging undergo essential variations Might I not gain the knowledge of beings whose virtue was the gift of experience and the growth of knowledge who joined to the modesty and charms of woman the benefits of education the maturity and steadfastness of age and with whose character and sentiments my own would be much more congenial than they could possibly be with the extreme youth rustic simplicity and mental imperfections of Eliza Hadwin
To say truth I was now conscious of a revolution in my mind I can scarcely assign its true cause No tokens of it appeared during my late retreat to Malverton Subsequent incidents perhaps joined with the influence of meditation had generated new views On my first visit to the city I had met with nothing but scenes of folly depravity and cunning No wonder that the images connected with the city were disastrous and gloomy but my second visit produced somewhat different impressions Maravegli Estwick Medlicote and you were beings who inspired veneration and love Your residence appeared to beautify and consecrate this spot and gave birth to an opinion that if cities are the chosen seats of misery and vice they are likewise the soil of all the laudable and strenuous productions of mind
My curiosity and thirst of knowledge had likewise received a new direction Books and inanimate nature were cold and lifeless instructors Men and the works of men were the objects of rational study and our own eyes only could communicate just conceptions of human performances The influence of manners professions and social institutions could be thoroughly known only by direct inspection
Competence fixed property and a settled abode rural occupations and conjugal pleasures were justly to be prized but their value could be known and their benefits fully enjoyed only by those who have tried all scenes who have mixed with all classes and ranks who have partaken of all conditions and who have visited different hemispheres and climates and nations The next five or eight years of my life should be devoted to activity and change it should be a period of hardship danger and privation it should be my apprenticeship to fortitude and wisdom and be employed to fit me for the tranquil pleasures and steadfast exertions of the remainder of my life
In consequence of these reflections I determined to suppress that tenderness which the company of Miss Hadwin produced to remove any mistakes into which she had fallen and to put it out of my power to claim for her more than the dues of friendship All ambiguities in a case like this and all delays were hurtful She was not exempt from passion but this passion I thought was young and easily extinguished
In a short time her health was restored and her grief melted down into a tender melancholy I chose a suitable moment when not embarrassed by the presence of others to reveal my thoughts My disclosure was ingenuous and perfect I laid before her the whole train of my thoughts nearly in the order though in different and more copious terms than those in which I have just explained them to you I concealed nothing The impression which her artless loveliness had made upon me at Malverton my motives for estranging myself from her society the nature of my present feelings with regard to her and my belief of the state of her heart the reasonings into which I had entered the advantages of wedlock and its inconveniences and finally the resolution I had formed of seeking the city and perhaps of crossing the ocean were minutely detailed
She interrupted me not but changing looks blushes flutterings and sighs showed her to be deeply and variously affected by my discourse I paused for some observation or comment She seemed conscious of my expectation but had no power to speak Overpowered at length by her emotions she burst into tears
I was at a loss in what manner to construe these symptoms I waited till her vehemence was somewhat subsided and then said What think you of my schemes Your approbation is of some moment do you approve of them or not
This question excited some little resentment and she answered You have left me nothing to say Go and be happy no matter what becomes of me I hope I shall be able to take care of myself
The tone in which this was said had something in it of upbraiding Your happiness said I is too dear to me to leave it in danger In this house you will not need my protection but I shall never be so far from you as to be disabled from hearing how you fare by letter and of being active for your good You have some money which you must husband well Any rent from your farm cannot be soon expected but what you have got if you remain with Mr Curling will pay your board and all other expenses for two years but you must be a good economist I shall expect continued I with a serious smile a punctual account of all your sayings and doings I must know how every minute is employed and every penny is expended and if I find you erring I must tell you so in good round terms
These words did not dissipate the sullenness which her looks had betrayed She still forbore to look at me and said I do not know how I should tell you every thing You care so little about me that—I should only be troublesome I am old enough to think and act for myself and shall advise with nobody but myself
That is true said I I shall rejoice to see you independent and free Consult your own understanding and act according to its dictates Nothing more is wanting to make you useful and happy I am anxious to return to the city but if you will allow me will go first to Malverton see that things are in due order and that old Caleb is well From thence if you please I will call at your uncles and tell him what has happened He may otherwise entertain pretensions and form views erroneous in themselves and injurious to you He may think himself entitled to manage your estate He may either suppose a will to have been made or may actually have heard from your father or from others of that which you burnt and in which he was named executor His boisterous and sordid temper may prompt him to seize your house and goods unless seasonably apprized of the truth and when he knows the truth he may start into rage which I shall be more fitted to encounter than you I am told that anger transforms him into a ferocious madman Shall I call upon him
She shuddered at the picture which I had drawn of her uncles character but this emotion quickly gave place to selfupbraiding for the manner in which she had repelled my proffers of service She melted once more into tears and exclaimed—
I am not worthy of the pains you take for me I am unfeeling and ungrateful Why should I think ill of you for despising me when I despise myself
You do yourself injustice my friend I think I see your most secret thoughts and these instead of exciting anger or contempt only awaken compassion and tenderness You love and must therefore conceive my conduct to be perverse and cruel I counted on your harbouring such thoughts Time only and reflection will enable you to see my motives in their true light Hereafter you will recollect my words and find them sufficient to justify my conduct You will acknowledge the propriety of my engaging in the cares of the world before I sit down in retirement and ease
Ah how much you mistake me I admire and approve of your schemes What angers and distresses me is that you think me unworthy to partake of your cares and labours that you regard my company as an obstacle and encumbrance that assistance and counsel must all proceed from you and that no scene is fit for me but what you regard as slothful and inglorious
Have I not the same claims to be wise and active and courageous as you If I am ignorant and weak do I not owe it to the same cause that has made you so and will not the same means which promote your improvement be likewise useful to me You desire to obtain knowledge by travelling and conversing with many persons and studying many sciences but you desire it for yourself alone Me you think poor weak and contemptible fit for nothing but to spin and churn Provided I exist am screened from the weather have enough to eat and drink you are satisfied As to strengthening my mind and enlarging my knowledge these things are valuable to you but on me they are thrown away I deserve not the gift
This strain simple and just as it was was wholly unexpected I was surprised and disconcerted In my previous reasonings I had certainly considered her sex as utterly unfitting her for those scenes and pursuits to which I had destined myself Not a doubt of the validity of my conclusion had insinuated itself but now my belief was shaken though it was not subverted I could not deny that human ignorance was curable by the same means in one sex as in the other that fortitude and skill were of no less value to one than to the other
Questionless my friend was rendered by her age and inexperience if not by sex more helpless and dependent than I but had I not been prone to overrate the difficulties which I should encounter Had I not deemed unjustly of her constancy and force of mind Marriage would render her property joint and would not compel me to take up my abode in the woods to abide forever in one spot to shackle my curiosity or limit my excursions
But marriage was a contract awful and irrevocable Was this the woman with whom my reason enjoined me to blend my fate without the power of dissolution Would not time unfold qualities in her which I did not at present suspect and which would evince an incurable difference in our minds Would not time lead me to the feet of one who more nearly approached that standard of ideal excellence which poets and romancers had exhibited to my view
These considerations were powerful and delicate I knew not in what terms to state them to my companion so as to preclude the imputation of arrogance or indecorum It became me however to be explicit and to excite her resentment rather than mislead her judgment She collected my meaning from a few words and interrupting me said—
How very low is the poor Eliza in your opinion We are indeed both too young to be married May I not see you and talk with you without being your wife May I not share your knowledge relieve your cares and enjoy your confidence as a sister might do May I not accompany you in your journeys and studies as one friend accompanies another My property may be yours you may employ it for your benefit and mine not because you are my husband but my friend You are going to the city Let me go along with you Let me live where you live The house that is large enough to hold you will hold me The fare that is good enough for you will be luxury to me Oh let it be so will you
You cannot think how studious how thoughtful how inquisitive I will be How tenderly I will nurse you when sick it is possible you may be sick you know and no one in the world will be half so watchful and affectionate as I shall be Will you let me
In saying this her earnestness gave new pathos to her voice Insensibly she put her face close to mine and transported beyond the usual bounds of reserve by the charms of that picture which her fancy contemplated she put her lips to my cheek and repeated in a melting accent Will you let me
You my friends who have not seen Eliza Hadwin cannot conceive what effect this entreaty was adapted to produce in me She has surely the sweetest voice the most speaking features and most delicate symmetry that ever woman possessed Her guileless simplicity and tenderness made her more enchanting To be the object of devotion to a heart so fervent and pure was surely no common privilege Thus did she tender me herself and was not the gift to be received with eagerness and gratitude
No I was not so much a stranger to mankind as to acquiesce in this scheme As my sister or my wife the world would suffer us to reside under the same roof to apply to common use the same property and daily to enjoy the company of each other but she was not my sister and marriage would be an act of the grossest indiscretion I explained to her in few words the objections to which her project was liable
Well then said she let me live in the next house in the neighbourhood or at least in the same city Let me be where I may see you once a day or once a week or once a month Shut me not wholly from your society and the means of becoming in time less ignorant and foolish than I now am
After a pause I replied I love you too well not to comply with this request Perhaps the city will be as suitable a residence as any other for you as it will for some time be most convenient to me I shall be better able to watch over your welfare and supply you with the means of improvement when you are within a small distance At present you must consent to remain here while I visit your uncle and afterwards go to the city I shall look out for you a suitable lodging and inform you when it is found If you then continue in the same mind I will come and having gained the approbation of Mr Curling will conduct you to town Here ended our dialogue
CHAPTER XXXIII
Though I had consented to this scheme I was conscious that some hazards attended it I was afraid of calumny which might trouble the peace or destroy the reputation of my friend I was afraid of my own weakness which might be seduced into an indiscreet marriage by the charms or sufferings of this bewitching creature I felt that there was no price too dear to save her from slander A fair fame is of the highest importance to a young female and the loss of it but poorly supplied by the testimony of her own conscience I had reason for tenfold solicitude on this account since I was her only protector and friend Hence I cherished some hopes that time might change her views and suggest less dangerous schemes Meanwhile I was to lose no time in visiting Malverton and Philip Hadwin
About ten days had elapsed since we had deserted Malverton These were days of successive storms and travelling had been rendered inconvenient The weather was now calm and clear and early in the morning that ensued the dialogue which I have just related I set out on horseback
Honest Caleb was found eating his breakfast nearly in the spot where he had been first discovered He answered my inquiries by saying that two days after our departure several men had come to the house one of whom was Philip Hadwin They had interrogated him as to the condition of the farm and the purpose of his remaining on it William Hadwin they knew to have been some time dead but where were the girls his daughters
Caleb answered that Susy the eldest was likewise dead
These tidings excited astonishment When died she and how and where was she buried
It happened two days before and she was buried he believed but could not tell where
Not tell where By whom then was she buried
Really he could not tell Some strange man came there just as she was dying He went to the room and when she was dead took her away but what he did with the body was more than he could say but he had a notion that he buried it The man stayed till the morning and then went off with Lizzy leaving him to keep house by himself He had not seen either of them nor indeed a single soul since
This was all the information that Caleb could afford the visitants It was so lame and incredible that they began to charge the man with falsehood and to threaten him with legal animadversion Just then Mr Ellis entered the house and being made acquainted with the subject of discourse told all that he himself knew He related the midnight visit which I had paid him explained my former situation in the family and my disappearance in September He stated the advice he had given me to carry Eliza to her uncles and my promise to comply with his counsel The uncle declared he had seen nothing of his niece and Caleb added that when she set out she took the road that led to town
These hints afforded grounds for much conjecture and suspicion Ellis now mentioned some intelligence that he had gathered respecting me in a late journey to —— It seems I was the son of an honest farmer in that quarter who married a tidy girl of a milkmaid that lived with him My father had detected me in making some atrocious advances to my motherinlaw and had turned me out of doors I did not go off however without rifling his drawer of some hundreds of dollars which he had laid up against a rainy day I was noted for such pranks and was hated by all the neighbours for my pride and laziness It was easy by comparison of circumstances for Ellis to ascertain that Hadwins servant Mervyn was the same against whom such heavy charges were laid
Previously to this journey he had heard of me from Hadwin who was loud in praise of my diligence sobriety and modesty For his part he had always been cautious of giving countenance to vagrants that came from nobody knew where and worked their way with a plausible tongue He was not surprised to hear it whispered that Betsy Hadwin had fallen in love with the youth and now no doubt he had persuaded her to run away with him The heiress of a fine farm was a prize not to be met with every day
Philip broke into rage at this news swore that if it turned out so his niece should starve upon the town and that he would take good care to balk the lad His brother he well knew had left a will to which he was executor and that this will would in good time be forthcoming After much talk and ransacking the house and swearing at his truant niece he and his company departed charging Caleb to keep the house and its contents for his use This was all that Calebs memory had retained of that days proceedings
Curling had lately commented on the character of Philip Hadwin This man was totally unlike his brother was a noted brawler and bully a tyrant to his children a plague to his neighbours and kept a rendezvous for drunkards and idlers at the sign of the Bulls Head at —— He was not destitute of parts and was no less dreaded for cunning than malignity He was covetous and never missed an opportunity of overreaching his neighbour There was no doubt that his nieces property would be embezzled should it ever come into his hands and any power which he might obtain over her person would be exercised to her destruction His children were tainted with the dissoluteness of their father and marriage had not repaired the reputation of his daughters or cured them of depravity this was the man whom I now proposed to visit
I scarcely need to say that the calumny of Betty Lawrence gave me no uneasiness My father had no doubt been deceived as well as my fathers neighbours by the artifices of this woman I passed among them for a thief and a profligate but their error had hitherto been harmless to me The time might come which should confute the tale without my efforts Betty sooner or later would drop her mask and afford the antidote to her own poisons unless some new incident should occur to make me hasten the catastrophe
I arrived at Hadwins house I was received with some attention as a guest I looked among the pimpled visages that filled the piazza for that of the landlord but found him in an inner apartment with two or three more seated round a table On intimating my wish to speak with him alone the others withdrew
Hadwins visage had some traces of resemblance to his brother but the meek placid air pale cheeks and slender form of the latter were powerfully contrasted with the bloated arrogance imperious brow and robust limbs of the former This mans rage was awakened by a straw it impelled him in an instant to oaths and buffetings and made his life an eternal brawl The sooner my interview with such a personage should be at an end the better I therefore explained the purpose of my coming as fully and in as few words as possible
Your name sir is Philip Hadwin Your brother William of Malverton died lately and left two daughters The youngest only is now alive and I come commissioned from her to inform you that as no will of her fathers is extant she is preparing to administer to his estate As her fathers brother she thought you entitled to this information
The change which took place in the countenance of this man during this address was remarkable but not easily described His cheeks contracted a deeper crimson his eyes sparkled and his face assumed an expression in which curiosity was mingled with rage He bent forward and said in a hoarse and contemptuous tone Pray is your name Mervyn
I answered without hesitation and as if the question were wholly unimportant Yes my name is Mervyn
God damn it You then are the damned rascal—but permit me to repeat his speech without the oaths with which it was plentifully interlarded Not three words were uttered without being garnished with a—God damn it damnation Ill be damned to hell if—and the like energetic expletives You then are the rascal that robbed Billys house that ran away with the fool his daughter persuaded her to burn her fathers will and have the hellish impudence to come into this house But I thank you for it I was going to look for you youve saved me trouble Ill settle all accounts with you here Fair and softly my good lad If I dont bring you to the gallows—If I let you escape without such a dressing Damned impudence Fellow Ive been at Malverton Ive heard of your tricks So finding the will not quite to your mind knowing that the executor would balk your schemes you threw the will into the fire you robbed the house of all the cash and made off with the girl—The old fellow saw it all and will swear to the truth
These words created some surprise I meant not to conceal from this man the tenor and destruction of the will nor even the measures which his niece had taken or intended to take What I supposed to be unknown to him appeared to have been communicated by the talkative Caleb whose mind was more inquisitive and less sluggish than first appearances had led me to imagine Instead of moping by the kitchenfire when Eliza and I were conversing in an upper room it now appeared that he had reconnoitred our proceedings through some keyhole or crevice and had related what he had seen to Hadwin
Hadwin proceeded to exhaust his rage in oaths and menaces He frequently clenched his fist and thrust it in my face drew it back as if to render his blow more deadly ran over the same series of exclamations on my impudence and villany and talked of the gallows and the whippingpost enforced each word by the epithets damnable and hellish closed each sentence with—and be curst to you
There was but one mode for me to pursue all forcible opposition to a man of his strength was absurd It was my province to make his anger confine itself to words and patiently to wait till the paroxysm should end or subside of itself To effect this purpose I kept my seat and carefully excluded from my countenance every indication of timidity and panic on the one hand and of scorn and defiance on the other My look and attitude were those of a man who expected harsh words but who entertained no suspicion that blows would be inflicted
I was indebted for my safety to an inflexible adherence to this medium To have strayed for a moment to either side would have brought upon me his blows That he did not instantly resort to violence inspired me with courage since it depended on myself whether food should be supplied to his passion Rage must either progress or decline and since it was in total want of provocation it could not fail of gradually subsiding
My demeanour was calculated to damp the flame not only by its direct influence but by diverting his attention from the wrongs which he had received to the novelty of my behaviour The disparity in size and strength between us was too evident to make him believe that I confided in my sinews for my defence and since I betrayed neither contempt nor fear he could not but conclude that I trusted to my own integrity or to his moderation I seized the first pause in his rhetoric to enforce this sentiment
You are angry Mr Hadwin and are loud in your threats but they do not frighten me They excite no apprehension or alarm because I know myself able to convince you that I have not injured you This is an inn and I am your guest I am sure I shall find better entertainment than blows Come continued I smiling it is possible that I am not so mischievous a wretch as your fancy paints me I have no claims upon your niece but that of friendship and she is now in the house of an honest man Mr Curling where she proposes to continue as long as is convenient
It is true that your brother left a will which his daughter burnt in my presence because she dreaded the authority which that will gave you not only over her property but person It is true that on leaving the house she took away the money which was now her own and which was necessary to subsistence It is true that I bore her company and have left her in an honest mans keeping I am answerable for nothing more As to you I meant not to injure you I advised not the burning of the will I was a stranger till after that event to your character I knew neither good nor ill of you I came to tell you all this because as Elizas uncle you had a right to the information
So you come to tell me that she burnt the will and is going to administer—to what I beseech you To her fathers property Ay I warrant you But take this along with you—that property is mine land house stock every thing All is safe and snug under cover of a mortgage to which Billy was kind enough to add a bond One was sued and the other entered up a week ago So that all is safe under my thumb and the girl may whistle or starve for me I shall give myself no concern about the strumpet You thought to get a prize but damn me youve met with your match in me Phil Haddins not so easily choused I promise you I intended to give you this news and a drubbing into the bargain but you may go and make haste She burnt the will did she because I was named in it—and sent you to tell me so Good souls It was kind of you and I am bound to be thankful Take her back news of the mortgage and as for you leave my house You may go scotfree this time but I pledge my word for a sound beating when you next enter these doors Ill pay it to you with interest Leave my house I say
A mortgage said I in a low voice and affecting not to hear his commands that will be sad news for my friend Why sir you are a fortunate man Malverton is an excellent spot well watered and manured newly and completely fenced not a larger barn in the county oxen and horses and cows in the best order I never set eyes on a finer orchard By my faith sir you are a fortunate man But pray what have you for dinner I am hungry as a wolf Order me a beefsteak and some potation or other The bottle there—it is cider I take it pray push it to this side Saying this I stretched out my hand towards the bottle which stood before him
I confided in the power of a fearless and sedate manner Methought that as anger was the food of anger it must unavoidably subside in a contest with equability This opinion was intuitive rather than the product of experience and perhaps I gave no proof of my sagacity in hazarding my safety on its truth Hadwins character made him dreaded and obeyed by all He had been accustomed to ready and tremulous submission from men far more brawny and robust than I was and to find his most vehement menaces and gestures totally ineffectual on a being so slender and diminutive at once wound up his rage and excited his astonishment One motion counteracted and suspended the other He lifted his hand but delayed to strike One blow applied with his usual dexterity was sufficient to destroy me Though seemingly careless I was watchful of his motions and prepared to elude the stroke by shrinking or stooping Meanwhile I stretched my hand far enough to seize the bottle and pouring its contents into a tumbler put it to my lips—
Come sir I drink your health and wish you speedy possession of Malverton I have some interest with Eliza and will prevail on her to forbear all opposition and complaint Why should she complain While I live she shall not be a beggar No doubt your claim is legal and therefore ought to be admitted What the law gave the law has taken away Blessed be the dispensers of law Excellent cider open another bottle will you and I beseech hasten dinner if you would not see me devour the table
It was just perhaps to conjure up the demon avarice to fight with the demon anger Reason alone would in such a contest be powerless but in truth I spoke without artifice or disguise If his claim were legal opposition would be absurd and pernicious I meant not to rely upon his own assertions and would not acknowledge the validity of his claim till I had inspected the deed Having instituted suits this was now in a public office and there the inspection should be made Meanwhile no reason could be urged why I should part from him in anger while his kindred to Eliza and his title to her property made it useful to secure his favour It was possible to obtain a remission of his claims even when the law enforced them it would be imprudent at least to diminish the chances of remission by fostering his wrath and provoking his enmity
What he exclaimed in a transport of fury ant I master of my own house Out I say
These were harsh terms but they were not accompanied by gestures and tones so menacing as those which had before been used It was plain that the tide which so lately threatened my destruction had begun to recede This encouraged me to persist
Be not alarmed my good friend said I placidly and smiling A man of your bone need not fear a pigmy like me I shall scarcely be able to dethrone you in your own castle with an army of hostlers tapsters and cooks at your beck You shall still be master here provided you use your influence to procure me a dinner
His acquiescence in a pacific system was extremely reluctant and gradual He laid aside one sullen tone and wrathful look after the other and at length consented not only to supply me with a dinner but to partake of it with me Nothing was more a topic of surprise to himself than his forbearance He knew not how it was He had never been treated so before He was not proof against entreaty and submission but I had neither supplicated nor submitted The stuff that I was made of was at once damnably tough and devilishly pliant When he thought of my impudence in staying in his house after he had bade me leave it he was tempted to resume his passion When he reflected on my courage in making light of his anger notwithstanding his known impetuosity and my personal inferiority he could not withhold his esteem But my patience under his rebukes my unalterable equanimity and my ready consent to the validity of his claims soothed and propitiated him
An exemption from blows and abuse was all that I could gain from this man I told him the truth with regard to my own history so far as it was connected with the Hadwins I exhibited in affecting colours the helpless condition of Eliza but could extort from him nothing but his consent that if she chose she might come and live with him He would give her victuals and clothes for so much housework as she was able to do If she chose to live elsewhere he promised not to molest her or intermeddle in her concerns The house and land were his by law and he would have them
It was not my province to revile or expostulate with him I stated what measures would be adopted by a man who regarded the interest of others more than his own who was anxious for the welfare of an innocent girl connected with him so closely by the ties of kindred and who was destitute of what is called natural friends If he did not cancel for her sake his bond and mortgage he would at least afford her a frugal maintenance He would extend to her in all emergencies his counsel and protection
All that he said was sheer nonsense He could not sufficiently wonder at my folly in proposing to him to make a free gift of a hundred rich acres to a girl too who scarcely knew her right hand from her left whom the first cunning young rogue like myself would chouse out of the whole and take herself into the bargain But my folly was even surpassed by my impudence since as the friend of this girl I was merely petitioning on my own account I had come to him whom I never saw before on whom I had no claim and who as I well knew had reason to think me a sharper and modestly said Heres a girl who has no fortune I am greatly in want of one Pray give her such an estate that you have in your possession If you do Ill marry her and take it into my own hands I might be thankful that he did not answer such a petition with a horsewhipping But if he did not give her his estate he might extend to her forsooth his counsel and protection That Ive offered to do continued he She may come and live in my house if she will She may do some of the family work Ill discharge the chambermaid to make room for her Lizzy if I remember right has a pretty face She cant have a better market for it than as chambermaid to an inn If she minds her ps and qs she may make up a handsome sum at the years end
I thought it time to break off the conference and my dinner being finished took my leave leaving behind me the character of a queer sort of chap I speeded to the prothonotarys office which was kept in the village and quickly ascertained the truth of Hadwins pretensions There existed a mortgage with bond and warrant of attorney to so great an amount as would swallow up every thing at Malverton Furnished with these tidings I prepared with a drooping heart to return to Mr Curlings
CHAPTER XXXIV
This incident necessarily produced a change in my views with regard to my friend Her fortune consisted of a few hundreds of dollars which frugally administered might procure decent accommodation in the country When this was consumed she must find subsistence in tending the big wheel or the milkpail unless fortune should enable me to place her in a more favourable situation This state was in some respects but little different from that in which she had spent the former part of her life but in her fathers house these employments were dignified by being in some degree voluntary and relieved by frequent intervals of recreation and leisure Now they were likely to prove irksome and servile in consequence of being performed for hire and imposed by necessity Equality parental solicitudes and sisterly endearments would be wanting to lighten the yoke
These inconveniences however were imaginary This was the school in which fortitude and independence were to be learned Habit and the purity of rural manners would likewise create anew those ties which death had dissolved The affections of parent and sister would be supplied by the fonder and more rational attachments of friendship These toils were not detrimental to beauty or health What was to be dreaded from them was their tendency to quench the spirit of liberal curiosity to habituate the person to bodily rather than intellectual exertions to supersede and create indifference or aversion to the only instruments of rational improvement the pen and the book
This evil however was at some distance from Eliza Her present abode was quiet and serene Here she might enjoy domestic pleasures and opportunities of mental improvement for the coming twelvemonth at least This period would perhaps be sufficient for the formation of studious habits What schemes should be adopted for this end would be determined by the destiny to which I myself should be reserved
My path was already chalked out and my fancy now pursued it with uncommon pleasure To reside in your family to study your profession to pursue some subordinate or casual mode of industry by which I might purchase leisure for medical pursuits for social recreations and for the study of mankind on your busy and thronged stage was the scope of my wishes This destiny would not hinder punctual correspondence and occasional visits to Eliza Her pen might be called into action and her mind be awakened by books and every hour be made to add to her stores of knowledge and enlarge the bounds of her capacity
I was spiritless and gloomy when I left —— but reflections on my future lot and just views of the situation of my friend insensibly restored my cheerfulness I arrived at Mr Curlings in the evening and hastened to impart to Eliza the issue of my commission It gave her uneasiness merely as it frustrated the design on which she had fondly mused of residing in the city She was somewhat consoled by my promises of being her constant correspondent and occasional visitor
Next morning I set out on my journey hither on foot The way was not long the weather though cold was wholesome and serene My spirits were high and I saw nothing in the world before me but sunshine and prosperity I was conscious that my happiness depended not on the revolutions of nature or the caprice of man All without was indeed vicissitude and uncertainty but within my bosom was a centre not to be shaken or removed My purposes were honest and steadfast Every sense was the inlet of pleasure because it was the avenue of knowledge and my soul brooded over the world to ideas and glowed with exultation at the grandeur and beauty of its own creations
This felicity was too rapturous to be of long duration I gradually descended from these heights and the remembrance of past incidents connected with the images of your family to which I was returning led my thoughts into a different channel Welbeck and the unhappy girl whom he had betrayed Mrs Villars and Wallace were recollected anew The views which I had formed for determining the fate and affording assistance to Clemenza were recalled My former resolutions with regard to her had been suspended by the uncertainty in which the fate of the Hadwins was at that time wrapped Had it not become necessary wholly to lay aside these resolutions
That indeed was an irksome conclusion No wonder that I struggled to repel it that I fostered the doubt whether money was the only instrument of benefit whether caution and fortitude and knowledge were not the genuine preservatives from evil Had I not the means in my hands of dispelling her fatal ignorance of Welbeck and of those with whom she resided Was I not authorized by my previous though slender intercourse to seek her presence
Suppose I should enter Mrs Villarss house desire to be introduced to the lady accost her with affectionate simplicity and tell her the truth Why be anxious to smooth the way why deal in apologies circuities and innuendoes All these are feeble and perverse refinements unworthy of an honest purpose and an erect spirit To believe her inaccessible to my visit was absurd To wait for the permission of those whose interest it might be to shut out visitants was cowardice This was an infringement of her liberty which equity and law equally condemned By what right could she be restrained from intercourse with others Doors and passages may be between her and me With a purpose such as mine no one had a right to close the one or obstruct the other Away with cowardly reluctances and clownish scruples and let me hasten this moment to her dwelling
Mrs Villars is the portress of the mansion She will probably present herself before me and demand the reason of my visit What shall I say to her The truth To falter or equivocate or dissemble to this woman would be wicked Perhaps her character has been misunderstood and maligned Can I render her a greater service than to apprize her of the aspersions that have rested on it and afford her the opportunity of vindication Perhaps she is indeed selfish and profligate the betrayer of youth and the agent of lasciviousness Does she not deserve to know the extent of her errors and the ignominy of her trade Does she not merit the compassion of the good and the rebukes of the wise To shrink from the task would prove me cowardly and unfirm Thus far at least let my courage extend
Alas Clemenza is unacquainted with my language My thoughts cannot make themselves apparent but by words and to my words she will be able to affix no meaning Yet is not that a hasty decision The version from the dramas of Zeno which I found in her toilet was probably hers and proves her to have a speculative knowledge of our tongue Near half a year has since elapsed during which she has dwelt with talkers of English and consequently could not fail to have acquired it This conclusion is somewhat dubious but experiment will give it certainty
Hitherto I had strolled along the path at a lingering pace Time enough methought to reach your threshold between sunrise and moonlight if my way had been three times longer than it was You were the pleasing phantom that hovered before me and beckoned me forward What a total revolution had occurred in the course of a few seconds for thus long did my reasonings with regard to Clemenza and the Villars require to pass through my understanding and escape in halfmuttered soliloquy from my lips My muscles trembled with eagerness and I bounded forward with impetuosity I saw nothing but a vista of catalpas leafless loaded with icicles and terminating in four chimneys and a painted roof My fancy outstripped my footsteps and was busy in picturing faces and rehearsing dialogues Presently I reached this new object of my pursuit darted through the avenue noticed that some windows of the house were unclosed drew thence a hasty inference that the house was not without inhabitants and knocked quickly and loudly for admission
Some one within crept to the door opened it with seeming caution and just far enough to allow the face to be seen It was the timid pale and unwashed face of a girl who was readily supposed to be a servant taken from a cottage and turned into a bringer of wood and water and a scourer of tubs and trenches She waited in timorous silence the delivery of my message Was Mrs Villars at home
No she has gone to town
Were any of her daughters within
She could not tell she believed—she thought—which did I want Miss Hetty or Miss Sally
Let me see Miss Hetty Saying this I pushed gently against the door The girl half reluctant yielded way I entered the passage and putting my hand on the lock of a door that seemed to lead into a parlour—Is Miss Hetty in this room
No there was nobody there
Go call her then Tell her there is one who wishes to see her on important business I will wait for her coming in this room So saying I opened the door and entered the apartment while the girl withdrew to perform my message
The parlour was spacious and expensively furnished but an air of negligence and disorder was everywhere visible The carpet was wrinkled and unswept a clock on the table in a glass frame so streaked and spotted with dust as scarcely to be transparent and the index motionless and pointing at four instead of nine embers scattered on the marble hearth and tongs lying on the fender with the handle in the ashes a harpsichord uncovered one end loaded with scores tumbled together in a heap and the other with volumes of novels and plays some on their edges some on their backs gaping open by the scorching of their covers rent blurred stained blotted dogeared tables awry chairs crowding each other in short no object but indicated the neglect or the ignorance of domestic neatness and economy
My leisure was employed in surveying these objects and in listening for the approach of Miss Hetty Some minutes elapsed and no one came A reason for delay was easily imagined and I summoned patience to wait I opened a book touched the instrument surveyed the vases on the manteltree the figures on the hangings and the print of Apollo and the Sibyl taken from Salvator and hung over the chimney I eyed my own shape and garb in the mirror and asked how my rustic appearance would be regarded by that supercilious and voluptuous being to whom I was about to present myself
Presently the latch of the door was softly moved it opened and the simpleton before described appeared She spoke but her voice was so full of hesitation and so near a whisper that much attention was needed to make out her words—Miss Hetty was not at home she was gone to town with her mistress
This was a tale not to be credited How was I to act She persisted in maintaining the truth of it—Well then said I at length tell Miss Sally that I wish to speak with her She will answer my purpose just as well
Miss Sally was not at home neither She had gone to town too They would not be back she did not know when not till night she supposed It was so indeed none of them wasnt at home none but she and Nanny in the kitchen indeed there wasnt
Go tell Nanny to come here I will leave my message with her She withdrew but Nanny did not receive the summons or thought proper not to obey it All was vacant and still
My state was singular and critical It was absurd to prolong it but to leave the house with my errand unexecuted would argue imbecility and folly To ascertain Clemenzas presence in this house and to gain an interview were yet in my power Had I not boasted of my intrepidity in braving denials and commands when they endeavoured to obstruct my passage to this woman But here were no obstacles nor prohibition Suppose the girl had said truth that the matron and her daughters were absent and that Nanny and herself were the only guardians of the mansion So much the better My design will not be opposed I have only to mount the stair and go from one room to another till I find what I seek
There was hazard as well as plausibility in this scheme I thought it best once more to endeavour to extort information from the girl and persuade her to be my guide to whomsoever the house contained I put my hand to the bell and rung a brisk peal No one came I passed into the entry to the foot of a staircase and to a backwindow Nobody was within hearing or sight
Once more I reflected on the rectitude of my intentions on the possibility that the girls assertions might be true on the benefits of expedition and of gaining access to the object of my visit without interruption or delay To these considerations was added a sort of charm not easily explained and by no means justifiable produced by the very temerity and hazardness accompanying this attempt I thought with scornful emotions on the bars and hinderances which pride and caprice and delusive maxims of decorum raise in the way of human intercourse I spurned at these semblances and substitutes of honesty and delighted to shake such fetters into air and trample such impediments to dust I wanted to see a human being in order to promote her happiness It was doubtful whether she was within twenty paces of the spot where I stood The doubt was to be solved How By examining the space I forthwith proceeded to examine it I reached the second story I approached a door that was closed I knocked After a pause a soft voice said Who is there
The accents were as musical as those of Clemenza but were in other respects different I had no topic to discuss with this person I answered not yet hesitated to withdraw Presently the same voice was again heard—What is it you want Why dont you answer Come in I complied with the command and entered the room
It was deliberation and foresight that led me hither and not chance or caprice Hence instead of being disconcerted or vanquished by the objects that I saw I was tranquil and firm My curiosity however made me a vigilant observer Two females arrayed with voluptuous negligence in a manner adapted to the utmost seclusion and seated in a careless attitude on a sofa were now discovered
Both darted glances at the door One who appeared to be the youngest no sooner saw me than she shrieked and starting from her seat betrayed in the looks which she successively cast upon me on herself and on the chamber whose apparatus was in no less confusion than that of the apartment below her consciousness of the unseasonableness of this meeting
The other shrieked likewise but in her it seemed to be the token of surprise rather than that of terror There was probably somewhat in my aspect and garb that suggested an apology for this intrusion as arising from simplicity and mistake She thought proper however to assume the air of one offended and looking sternly—How now fellow said she what is this Why come you hither
This questioner was of mature age but had not passed the period of attractiveness and grace All the beauty that nature had bestowed was still retained but the portion had never been great What she possessed was so modelled and embellished by such a carriage and dress as to give it most power over the senses of the gazer In proportion however as it was intended and adapted to captivate those who know none but physical pleasures it was qualified to breed distaste and aversion in me
I am sensible how much error may have lurked in this decision I had brought with me the belief of their being unchaste and seized perhaps with too much avidity any appearance that coincided with my prepossessions Yet the younger by no means inspired the same disgust though I had no reason to suppose her more unblemished than the elder Her modesty seemed unaffected and was by no means satisfied like that of the elder with defeating future curiosity The consciousness of what had already been exposed filled her with confusion and she would have flown away if her companion had not detained her by some degree of force What ails the girl Theres nothing to be frightened at Fellow she repeated what brings you here
I advanced and stood before them I looked steadfastly but I believe with neither effrontery nor anger on the one who addressed me I spoke in a tone serious and emphatical I come for the sake of speaking to a woman who formerly resided in this house and probably resides here still Her name is Clemenza Lodi If she be here I request you to conduct me to her instantly
Methought I perceived some inquietude a less imperious and more inquisitive air in this woman on hearing the name of Clemenza It was momentary and gave way to peremptory looks What is your business with her And why did you adopt this mode of inquiry A very extraordinary intrusion Be good enough to leave the chamber Any questions proper to be answered will be answered below
I meant not to intrude or offend It was not an idle or impertinent motive that led me hither I waited below for some time after soliciting an audience of you through the servant She assured me you were absent and laid me under the necessity of searching for Clemenza Lodi myself and without a guide I am anxious to withdraw and request merely to be directed to the room which she occupies
I direct you replied she in a more resolute tone to quit the room and the house
Impossible madam I replied still looking at her earnestly leave the house without seeing her You might as well enjoin me to pull the Andes on my head—to walk barefoot to Pekin Impossible
Some solicitude was now mingled with her anger This is strange insolence unaccountable behaviour—begone from my room will you compel me to call the gentlemen
Be not alarmed said I with augmented mildness There was indeed compassion and sorrow at my heart and these must have somewhat influenced my looks Be not alarmed I came to confer a benefit not to perpetrate an injury I came not to censure or expostulate with you but merely to counsel and aid a being that needs both all I want is to see her In this chamber I sought not you but her Only lead me to her or tell me where she is I will then rid you of my presence
Will you compel me to call those who will punish this insolence as it deserves
Dearest madam I compel you to nothing I merely supplicate I would ask you to lead me to these gentlemen if I did not know that there are none but females in the house It is you who must receive and comply with my petition Allow me a moments interview with Clemenza Lodi Compliance will harm you not but will benefit her What is your objection
This is the strangest proceeding the most singular conduct Is this a place fit to parley with you I warn you of the consequence of staying a moment longer Depend upon it you will sorely repent it
You are obdurate said I and turned towards the younger who listened to this discourse in tremors and panic I took her hand with an air of humility and reverence Here said I there seems to be purity innocence and condescension I took this house to be the temple of voluptuousness Females I expected to find in it but such only as traded in licentious pleasures specious perhaps not destitute of talents beauty and address but dissolute and wanton sensual and avaricious yet in this countenance and carriage there are tokens of virtue I am born to be deceived and the semblance of modesty is readily assumed Under this veil perhaps lurk a tainted heart and depraved appetites Is it so
She made me no answer but somewhat in her looks seemed to evince that my favourable prepossessions were just I noticed likewise that the alarm of the elder was greatly increased by this address to her companion The thought suddenly occurred that this girl might be in circumstances not unlike those of Clemenza Lodi that she was not apprized of the character of her associates and might by this meeting be rescued from similar evils
This suspicion filled me with tumultuous feelings Clemenza was for a time forgotten I paid no attention to the looks or demeanour of the elder but was wholly occupied in gazing on the younger My anxiety to know the truth gave pathos and energy to my tones while I spoke—
Who where what are you Do you reside in this house Are you a sister or daughter in this family or merely a visitant Do you know the character profession and views of your companions Do you deem them virtuous or know them to be profligate Speak tell me I beseech you
The maiden confusion which had just appeared in the countenance of this person now somewhat abated She lifted her eyes and glanced by turns at me and at her who sat by her side An air of serious astonishment overspread her features and she seemed anxious for me to proceed The elder meanwhile betrayed the utmost alarm again upbraided my audacity commanded me to withdraw and admonished me of the danger I incurred by lingering
I noticed not her interference but again entreated to know of the younger her true state She had no time to answer me supposing her not to want the inclination for every pause was filled by the clamorous importunities and menaces of the other I began to perceive that my attempts were useless to this end but the chief and most estimable purpose was attainable It was in my power to state the knowledge I possessed through your means of Mrs Villars and her daughters This information might be superfluous since she to whom it was given might be one of this licentious family The contrary however was not improbable and my tidings therefore might be of the utmost moment to her safety
A resolute and even impetuous manner reduced my incessant interrupter to silence What I had to say I compressed in a few words and adhered to perspicuity and candour with the utmost care I still held the hand that I had taken and fixed my eyes upon her countenance with a steadfastness that hindered her from lifting her eyes
I know you not whether you be dissolute or chaste I cannot tell In either case however what I am going to say will be useful Let me faithfully repeat what I have heard It is mere rumour and I vouch not for its truth Rumour as it is I submit it to your judgment and hope that it may guide you into paths of innocence and honour
Mrs Villars and her three daughters are Englishwomen who supported for a time an unblemished reputation but who at length were suspected of carrying on the trade of prostitution This secret could not be concealed forever The profligates who frequented their house betrayed them One of them who died under their roof after they had withdrawn from it into the country disclosed to his kinsman who attended his deathbed their genuine character
The dying man likewise related incidents in which I am deeply concerned I have been connected with one by name Welbeck In his house I met an unfortunate girl who was afterwards removed to Mrs Villarss Her name was Clemenza Lodi Residence in this house under the control of a woman like Mrs Villars and her daughters must be injurious to her innocence and from this control I now come to rescue her
I turned to the elder and continued—By all that is sacred I adjure you to tell me whether Clemenza Lodi be under this roof If she be not whither has she gone To know this I came hither and any difficulty or reluctance in answering will be useless till an answer be obtained I will not go hence
During this speech anger had been kindling in the bosom of this woman It now burst upon me in a torrent of opprobrious epithets I was a villain a calumniator a thief I had lurked about the house till those whose sex and strength enabled them to cope with me had gone I had entered these doors by fraud I was a wretch guilty of the last excesses of insolence and insult
To repel these reproaches or endure them was equally useless The satisfaction that I sought was only to be gained by searching the house I left the room without speaking Did I act illegally in passing from one story and one room to another Did I really deserve the imputations of rashness and insolence My behaviour I well know was ambiguous and hazardous and perhaps wanting in discretion but my motives were unquestionably pure I aimed at nothing but the rescue of a human creature from distress and dishonour
I pretend not to the wisdom of experience and age to the praise of forethought or subtlety I choose the obvious path and pursue it with headlong expedition Good intentions unaided by knowledge will perhaps produce more injury than benefit and therefore knowledge must be gained but the acquisition is not momentary is not bestowed unasked and untoiled for Meanwhile we must not be inactive because we are ignorant Our good purposes must hurry to performance whether our knowledge be greater or less
CHAPTER XXXV
To explore the house in this manner was so contrary to ordinary rules that the design was probably wholly unsuspected by the women whom I had just left My silence at parting might have been ascribed by them to the intimidating influence of invectives and threats Hence I proceeded in my search without interruption
Presently I reached a front chamber in the third story The door was ajar I entered it on tiptoe Sitting on a low chair by the fire I beheld a female figure dressed in a negligent but not indecent manner Her face in the posture in which she sat was only half seen Its hues were sickly and pale and in mournful unison with a feeble and emaciated form Her eyes were fixed upon a babe that lay stretched upon a pillow at her feet The child like its mother for such she was readily imagined to be was meagre and cadaverous Either it was dead or could not be very distant from death
The features of Clemenza were easily recognised though no contrast could be greater in habit and shape and complexion than that which her present bore to her former appearance All her roses had faded and her brilliancies vanished Still however there was somewhat fitted to awaken the tenderest emotions There were tokens of inconsolable distress
Her attention was wholly absorbed by the child She lifted not her eyes till I came close to her and stood before her When she discovered me a faint start was perceived She looked at me for a moment then putting one spread hand before her eyes she stretched out the other towards the door and waving it in silence as if to admonish me to depart
This motion however emphatical I could not obey I wished to obtain her attention but knew not in what words to claim it I was silent In a moment she removed her hand from her eyes and looked at me with new eagerness Her features bespoke emotions which perhaps flowed from my likeness to her brother joined with the memory of my connection with Welbeck
My situation was full of embarrassment I was by no means certain that my language would be understood I knew not in what light the policy and dissimulation of Welbeck might have taught her to regard me What proposal conducive to her comfort and her safety could I make to her
Once more she covered her eyes and exclaimed in a feeble voice Go away begone
As if satisfied with this effort she resumed her attention to her child She stooped and lifted it in her arms gazing meanwhile on its almost lifeless features with intense anxiety She crushed it to her bosom and again looking at me repeated Go away go away begone
There was somewhat in the lines of her face in her tones and gestures that pierced to my heart Added to this was my knowledge of her condition her friendlessness her poverty the pangs of unrequited love and her expiring infant I felt my utterance choked and my tears struggling for passage I turned to the window and endeavoured to regain my tranquillity
What was it said I that brought me hither The perfidy of Welbeck must surely have long since been discovered What can I tell her of the Villars which she does not already know or of which the knowledge will be useful If their treatment has been just why should I detract from their merit If it has been otherwise their own conduct will have disclosed their genuine character Though voluptuous themselves it does not follow that they have laboured to debase this creature Though wanton they may not be inhuman
I can propose no change in her condition for the better Should she be willing to leave this house whither is it in my power to conduct her Oh that I were rich enough to provide food for the hungry shelter for the houseless and raiment for the naked
I was roused from these fruitless reflections by the lady whom some sudden thought induced to place the child in its bed and rising to come towards me The utter dejection which her features lately betrayed was now changed for an air of anxious curiosity Where said she in her broken English—where is Signor Welbeck
Alas returned I I know not That question might I thought with more propriety be put to you than me
I know where he be I fear where he be
So saying the deepest sighs burst from her heart She turned from me and going to the child took it again into her lap Its pale and sunken cheek was quickly wet with the mothers tears which as she silently hung over it dropped fast from her eyes
This demeanour could not but awaken curiosity while it gave a new turn to my thoughts I began to suspect that in the tokens which I saw there was not only distress for her child but concern for the fate of Welbeck Know you said I where Mr Welbeck is Is he alive Is he near Is he in calamity
I do not know if he be alive He be sick He be in prison They will not let me go to him And—here her attention and mine was attracted by the infant whose frame till now motionless began to be tremulous Its features sunk into a more ghastly expression Its breathings were difficult and every effort to respire produced a convulsion harder than the last
The mother easily interpreted these tokens The same mortal struggle seemed to take place in her features as in those of her child At length her agony found way in a piercing shriek The struggle in the infant was past Hope looked in vain for a new motion in its heart or its eyelids The lips were closed and its breath was gone forever
The grief which overwhelmed the unhappy parent was of that outrageous and desperate kind which is wholly incompatible with thinking A few incoherent motions and screams that rent the soul were followed by a deep swoon She sunk upon the floor pale and lifeless as her babe
I need not describe the pangs which such a scene was adapted to produce in me These were rendered more acute by the helpless and ambiguous situation in which I was placed I was eager to bestow consolation and succour but was destitute of all means I was plunged into uncertainties and doubts I gazed alternately at the infant and its mother I sighed I wept I even sobbed I stooped down and took the lifeless hand of the sufferer I bathed it with my tears and exclaimed Illfated woman unhappy mother what shall I do for thy relief How shall I blunt the edge of this calamity and rescue thee from new evils
At this moment the door of the apartment was opened and the younger of the women whom I had seen below entered Her looks betrayed the deepest consternation and anxiety Her eyes in a moment were fixed by the decayed form and the sad features of Clemenza She shuddered at this spectacle but was silent She stood in the midst of the floor fluctuating and bewildered I dropped the hand that I was holding and approached her
You have come said I in good season I know you not but will believe you to be good You have a heart it may be not free from corruption but it is still capable of pity for the miseries of others You have a hand that refuses not its aid to the unhappy See there is an infant dead There is a mother whom grief has for a time deprived of life She has been oppressed and betrayed been robbed of property and reputation—but not of innocence She is worthy of relief Have you arms to receive her Have you sympathy protection and a home to bestow upon a forlorn betrayed and unhappy stranger I know not what this house is I suspect it to be no better than a brothel I know not what treatment this woman has received When her situation and wants are ascertained will you supply her wants Will you rescue her from evils that may attend her continuance here
She was disconcerted and bewildered by this address At length she said All that has happened all that I have heard and seen is so unexpected so strange that I am amazed and distracted Your behaviour I cannot comprehend nor your motive for making this address to me I cannot answer you except in one respect If this woman has suffered injury I have had no part in it I knew not of her existence nor her situation till this moment and whatever protection or assistance she may justly claim I am both able and willing to bestow I do not live here but in the city I am only an occasional visitant in this house
What then I exclaimed with sparkling eyes and a rapturous accent you are not profligate are a stranger to the manners of this house and a detester of these manners Be not a deceiver I entreat you I depend only on your looks and professions and these may be dissembled
These questions which indeed argued a childish simplicity excited her surprise She looked at me uncertain whether I was in earnest or in jest At length she said Your language is so singular that I am at a loss how to answer it I shall take no pains to find out its meaning but leave you to form conjectures at leisure Who is this woman and how can I serve her After a pause she continued—I cannot afford her any immediate assistance and shall not stay a moment longer in this house There putting a card in my hand is my name and place of abode If you shall have any proposals to make respecting this woman I shall be ready to receive them in my own house So saying she withdrew
I looked wistfully after her but could not but assent to her assertion that her presence here would be more injurious to her than beneficial to Clemenza She had scarcely gone when the elder woman entered There was rage sullenness and disappointment in her aspect These however were suspended by the situation in which she discovered the mother and child It was plain that all the sentiments of woman were not extinguished in her heart She summoned the servants and seemed preparing to take such measures as the occasion prescribed I now saw the folly of supposing that these measures would be neglected and that my presence could not essentially contribute to the benefit of the sufferer Still however I lingered in the room till the infant was covered with a cloth and the still senseless parent was conveyed into an adjoining chamber The woman then as if she had not seen me before fixed scowling eyes upon me and exclaimed Thief villain why do you stay here
I mean to go said I but not till I express my gratitude and pleasure at the sight of your attention to this sufferer You deem me insolent and perverse but I am not such and hope that the day will come when I shall convince you of my good intentions
Begone interrupted she in a more angry tone Begone this moment or I will treat you as a thief She now drew forth her hand from under her gown and showed a pistol You shall see she continued that I will not be insulted with impunity If you do not vanish I will shoot you as a robber
This woman was far from wanting a force and intrepidity worthy of a different sex Her gestures and tones were full of energy They denoted a haughty and indignant spirit It was plain that she conceived herself deeply injured by my conduct and was it absolutely certain that her anger was without reason I had loaded her house with atrocious imputations and these imputations might be false I had conceived them upon such evidence as chance had provided but this evidence intricate and dubious as human actions and motives are might be void of truth
Perhaps said I in a sedate tone I have injured you I have mistaken your character You shall not find me less ready to repair than to perpetrate this injury My error was without malice and——
I had not time to finish the sentence when this rash and enraged woman thrust the pistol close to my head and fired it I was wholly unaware that her fury would lead her to this excess It was a sort of mechanical impulse that made me raise my hand and attempt to turn aside the weapon I did this deliberately and tranquilly and without conceiving that any thing more was intended by her movement than to intimidate me To this precaution however I was indebted for life The bullet was diverted from my forehead to my left ear and made a slight wound upon the surface from which the blood gushed in a stream
The loudness of this explosion and the shock which the ball produced in my brain sunk me into a momentary stupor I reeled backward and should have fallen had not I supported myself against the wall The sight of my blood instantly restored her reason Her rage disappeared and was succeeded by terror and remorse She clasped her hands and exclaimed Oh what what have I done My frantic passion has destroyed me
I needed no long time to show me the full extent of the injury which I had suffered and the conduct which it became me to adopt For a moment I was bewildered and alarmed but presently perceived that this was an incident more productive of good than of evil It would teach me caution in contending with the passions of another and showed me that there is a limit which the impetuosities of anger will sometimes overstep Instead of reviling my companion I addressed myself to her thus—
Be not frighted You have done me no injury and I hope will derive instruction from this event Your rashness had like to have sacrificed the life of one who is your friend and to have exposed yourself to infamy and death or at least to the pangs of eternal remorse Learn from hence to curb your passions and especially to keep at a distance from every murderous weapon on occasions when rage is likely to take place of reason
I repeat that my motives in entering this house were connected with your happiness as well as that of Clemenza Lodi If I have erred in supposing you the member of a vile and pernicious trade that error was worthy of being rectified but violence and invective tend only to confirm it I am incapable of any purpose that is not beneficent but in the means that I use and in the evidence on which I proceed I am liable to a thousand mistakes Point out to me the road by which I can do you good and I will cheerfully pursue it
Finding that her fears had been groundless as to the consequences of her rashness she renewed though with less vehemence than before her imprecations on my intermeddling and audacious folly I listened till the storm was nearly exhausted and then declaring my intention to revisit the house if the interest of Clemenza should require it I resumed my way to the city
CHAPTER XXXVI
Why said I as I hasted forward is my fortune so abundant in unforeseen occurrences Is every man who leaves his cottage and the impressions of his infancy behind him ushered into such a world of revolutions and perils as have trammelled my steps or is my scene indebted for variety and change to my propensity to look into other peoples concerns and to make their sorrows and their joys mine
To indulge an adventurous spirit I left the precincts of the barndoor enlisted in the service of a stranger and encountered a thousand dangers to my virtue under the disastrous influence of Welbeck Afterwards my life was set at hazard in the cause of Wallace and now am I loaded with the province of protecting the helpless Eliza Hadwin and the unfortunate Clemenza My wishes are fervent and my powers shall not be inactive in their defence but how slender are these powers
In the offers of the unknown lady there is indeed some consolation for Clemenza It must be my business to lay before my friend Stevens the particulars of what has befallen me and to entreat his directions how this disconsolate girl may be most effectually succoured It may be wise to take her from her present abode and place her under some chaste and humane guardianship where she may gradually lose remembrance of her dead infant and her specious betrayer The barrier that severs her from Welbeck must be high as heaven and insuperable as necessity
But soft Talked she not of Welbeck Said she not that he was in prison and was sick Poor wretch I thought thy course was at an end that the penalty of guilt no longer weighed down thy heart that thy misdeeds and thy remorses were buried in a common and obscure grave but it seems thou art still alive
Is it rational to cherish the hope of thy restoration to innocence and peace Thou art no obdurate criminal hadst thou less virtue thy compunctions would be less keen Wert thou deaf to the voice of duty thy wanderings into guilt and folly would be less fertile of anguish The time will perhaps come when the measure of thy transgressions and calamities will overflow and the folly of thy choice will be too conspicuous to escape thy discernment Surely even for such transgressors as thou there is a salutary power in the precepts of truth and the lessons of experience
But thou art imprisoned and art sick This perhaps is the crisis of thy destiny Indigence and dishonour were the evils to shun which thy integrity and peace of mind have been lightly forfeited Thou hast found that the price was given in vain that the hollow and deceitful enjoyments of opulence and dignity were not worth the purchase and that frivolous and unsubstantial as they are the only path that leads to them is that of honesty and diligence Thou art in prison and art sick and there is none to cheer thy hour with offices of kindness or uphold thy fainting courage by the suggestions of good counsel For such as thou the world has no compassion Mankind will pursue thee to the grave with execrations Their cruelty will be justified or palliated since they know thee not They are unacquainted with the goadings of thy conscience and the bitter retributions which thou art daily suffering They are full of their own wrongs and think only of those tokens of exultation and complacency which thou wast studious of assuming in thy intercourse with them It is I only that thoroughly know thee and can rightly estimate thy claims to compassion
I have somewhat partaken of thy kindness and thou meritest some gratitude at my hands Shall I not visit and endeavour to console thee in thy distress Let me at least ascertain thy condition and be the instrument in repairing the wrongs which thou hast inflicted Let me gain from the contemplation of thy misery new motives to sincerity and rectitude
While occupied by these reflections I entered the city The thoughts which engrossed my mind related to Welbeck It is not my custom to defer till tomorrow what can be done today The destiny of man frequently hangs upon the lapse of a minute I will stop said I at the prison and since the moment of my arrival may not be indifferent I will go thither with all possible haste I did not content myself with walking but regardless of the comments of passengers hurried along the way at full speed
Having inquired for Welbeck I was conducted through a dark room crowded with beds to a staircase Never before had I been in a prison Never had I smelt so noisome an odour or surveyed faces so begrimed with filth and misery The walls and floors were alike squalid and detestable It seemed that in this house existence would be bereaved of all its attractions and yet those faces which could be seen through the obscurity that encompassed them were either void of care or distorted with mirth
This said I as I followed my conductor is the residence of Welbeck What contrasts are these to the repose and splendour pictured walls glossy hangings gilded sofas mirrors that occupied from ceiling to floor carpets of Tauris and the spotless and transcendent brilliancy of coverlets and napkins in thy former dwelling Here brawling and the shuffling of rude feet are eternal The air is loaded with the exhalations of disease and the fumes of debauchery Thou art cooped up in airless space and perhaps compelled to share thy narrow cell with some stupid ruffian Formerly the breezes were courted by thy lofty windows Aromatic shrubs were scattered on thy hearth Menials splendid in apparel showed their faces with diffidence in thy apartment trod lightly on thy marble floor and suffered not the sanctity of silence to be troubled by a whisper Thy lamp shot its rays through the transparency of alabaster and thy fragrant lymph flowed from vases of porcelain Such were formerly the decorations of thy hall the embellishments of thy existence but now—alas—
We reached a chamber in the second story My conductor knocked at the door No one answered Repeated knocks were unheard or unnoticed by the person within At length lifting a latch we entered together
The prisoner lay upon the bed with his face turned from the door I advanced softly making a sign to the keeper to withdraw Welbeck was not asleep but merely buried in reverie I was unwilling to disturb his musing and stood with my eyes fixed upon his form He appeared unconscious that any one had entered
At length uttering a deep sigh he changed his posture and perceived me in my motionless and gazing attitude Recollect in what circumstances we had last parted Welbeck had no doubt carried away with him from that interview a firm belief that I should speedily die His prognostic however was fated to be contradicted
His first emotions were those of surprise These gave place to mortification and rage After eyeing me for some time he averted his glances and that effort which is made to dissipate some obstacle to breathing showed me that his sensations were of the most excruciating kind He laid his head upon the pillow and sunk into his former musing He disdained or was unable to utter a syllable of welcome or contempt
In the opportunity that had been afforded me to view his countenance I had observed tokens of a kind very different from those which used to be visible The gloomy and malignant were more conspicuous Health had forsaken his cheeks and taken along with it those flexible parts which formerly enabled him to cover his secret torments and insidious purposes beneath a veil of benevolence and cheerfulness Alas said I loud enough for him to hear me here is a monument of ruin Despair and mischievous passions are too deeply rooted in this heart for me to tear them away
These expressions did not escape his notice He turned once more and cast sullen looks upon me There was somewhat in his eyes that made me shudder They denoted that his reverie was not that of grief but of madness I continued in a less steadfast voice than before—
Unhappy Clemenza I have performed thy message I have visited him that is sick and in prison Thou hadst cause for anguish and terror even greater cause than thou imaginedst Would to God that thou wouldst be contented with the report which I shall make that thy misguided tenderness would consent to leave him to his destiny would suffer him to die alone but that is a forbearance which no eloquence that I possess will induce thee to practise Thou must come and witness for thyself
In speaking thus I was far from foreseeing the effects which would be produced on the mind of Welbeck I was far from intending to instil into him a belief that Clemenza was near at hand and was preparing to enter his apartment yet no other images but these would perhaps have roused him from his lethargy and awakened that attention which I wished to awaken He started up and gazed fearfully at the door
What he cried What Is she here Ye powers that have scattered woes in my path spare me the sight of her But from this agony I will rescue myself The moment she appears I will pluck out these eyes and dash them at her feet
So saying he gazed with augmented eagerness upon the door His hands were lifted to his head as if ready to execute his frantic purpose I seized his arm and besought him to lay aside his terror for that Clemenza was far distant She had no intention and besides was unable to visit him
Then I am respited I breathe again No keep her from a prison Drag her to the wheel or to the scaffold mangle her with stripes torture her with famine strangle her child before her face and cast it to the hungry dogs that are howling at the gate but—keep her from a prison Never let her enter these doors There he stopped his eyes being fixed on the floor and his thoughts once more buried in reverie I resumed—
She is occupied with other griefs than those connected with the fate of Welbeck She is not unmindful of you she knows you to be sick and in prison and I came to do for you whatever office your condition might require and I came at her suggestion She alas has full employment for her tears in watering the grave of her child
He started What dead Say you that the child is dead
It is dead I witnessed its death I saw it expire in the arms of its mother that mother whom I formerly met under your roof blooming and gay but whom calamity has tarnished and withered I saw her in the raiment of poverty under an accursed roof desolate alone unsolaced by the countenance or sympathy of human beings approached only by those who mock at her distress set snares for her innocence and push her to infamy I saw her leaning over the face of her dying babe
Welbeck put his hands to his head and exclaimed Curses on thy lips infernal messenger Chant elsewhere thy rueful ditty Vanish if thou wouldst not feel in thy heart fangs red with blood less guilty than thine
Till this moment the uproar in Welbecks mind appeared to hinder him from distinctly recognising his visitant Now it seemed as if the incidents of our last interview suddenly sprung up in his remembrance
What This is the villain that rifled my cabinet the maker of my poverty and of all the evils which it has since engendered That has led me to a prison Execrable fool you are the author of the scene that you describe and of horrors without number and name To whatever crimes I have been urged since that interview and the fit of madness that made you destroy my property they spring from your act they flowed from necessity which had you held your hand at that fateful moment would never have existed
How dare you thrust yourself upon my privacy Why am I not alone Fly and let my miseries want at least the aggravation of beholding their author My eyes loathe the sight of thee My heart would suffocate thee with its own bitterness Begone
I know not I answered why innocence should tremble at the ravings of a lunatic why it should be overwhelmed by unmerited reproaches Why it should not deplore the errors of its foe labour to correct those errors and——
Thank thy fate youth that my hands are tied up by my scorn thank thy fate that no weapon is within reach Much has passed since I saw thee and I am a new man I am no longer inconstant and cowardly I have no motives but contempt to hinder me from expiating the wrongs which thou hast done me in thy blood I disdain to take thy life Go and let thy fidelity at least to the confidence which I have placed in thee be inviolate Thou hast done me harm enough but canst do if thou wilt still more Thou canst betray the secrets that are lodged in thy bosom and rob me of the comfort of reflecting that my guilt is known but to one among the living
This suggestion made me pause and look back upon the past I had confided this mans tale to you The secrecy on which he so fondly leaned was at an end Had I acted culpably or not
But why should I ruminate with anguish and doubt upon the past The future was within my power and the road of my duty was too plain to be mistaken I would disclose to Welbeck the truth and cheerfully encounter every consequence I would summon my friend to my aid and take his counsel in the critical emergency in which I was placed I ought not to rely upon myself alone in my efforts to benefit this being when another was so near whose discernment and benevolence and knowledge of mankind and power of affording relief were far superior to mine
Influenced by these thoughts I left the apartment without speaking and procuring pen and paper despatched to you the billet which brought about our meeting
CHAPTER XXXVII
Mervyns auditors allowed no pause in their attention to this story Having ended a deep silence took place The clock which stood upon the mantel had sounded twice the customary larum but had not been heard by us It was now struck a third time It was one Our guest appeared somewhat startled at this signal and looked with a mournful sort of earnestness at the clock There was an air of inquietude about him which I had never observed in an equal degree before
I was not without much curiosity respecting other incidents than those which had just been related by him but after so much fatigue as he had undergone I thought it improper to prolong the conversation
Come said I my friend let us to bed This is a drowsy time and after so much exercise of mind and body you cannot but need some repose Much has happened in your absence which is proper to be known to you but our discourse will be best deferred till tomorrow I will come into your chamber by daydawn and unfold to you particulars
Nay said he withdraw not on my account If I go to my chamber it will not be to sleep but to meditate especially after your assurance that something of moment has occurred in my absence My thoughts independently of any cause of sorrow or fear have received an impulse which solitude and darkness will not stop It is impossible to know too much for our safety and integrity or to know it too soon What has happened
I did not hesitate to comply with his request for it was not difficult to conceive that however tired the limbs might be the adventures of this day would not be easily expelled from the memory at night I told him the substance of the conversation with Mrs Althorpe He smiled at those parts of the narrative which related to himself but when his fathers depravity and poverty were mentioned he melted into tears
Poor wretch I that knew thee in thy better days might have easily divined this consequence I foresaw thy poverty and degradation in the same hour that I left thy roof My soul drooped at the prospect but I said It cannot be prevented and this reflection was an antidote to grief but now that thy ruin is complete it seems as if some of it were imputable to me who forsook thee when the succour and counsel of a son were most needed Thou art ignorant and vicious but thou art my father still I see that the sufferings of a better man than thou art would less afflict me than thine Perhaps it is still in my power to restore thy liberty and good name and yet—that is a fond wish Thou art past the age when the ignorance and grovelling habits of a human being are susceptible of cure There he stopped and after a gloomy pause continued—
I am not surprised or afflicted at the misconceptions of my neighbours with relation to my own character Men must judge from what they see they must build their conclusions on their knowledge I never saw in the rebukes of my neighbours any thing but laudable abhorrence of vice They were too eager to blame to collect materials of censure rather than of praise It was not me whom they hated and despised It was the phantom that passed under my name which existed only in their imagination and which was worthy of all their scorn and all their enmity
What I appeared to be in their eyes was as much the object of my own disapprobation as of theirs Their reproaches only evinced the rectitude of their decisions as well as of my own I drew from them new motives to complacency They fortified my perseverance in the path which I had chosen as best they raised me higher in my own esteem they heightened the claims of the reproachers themselves to my respect and my gratitude
They thought me slothful incurious destitute of knowledge and of all thirst of knowledge insolent and profligate They say that in the treatment of my father I have been ungrateful and inhuman I have stolen his property and deserted him in his calamity Therefore they hate and revile me It is well I love them for these proofs of their discernment and integrity Their indignation at wrong is the truest test of their virtue
It is true that they mistake me but that arises from the circumstances of our mutual situation They examined what was exposed to their view they grasped at what was placed within their reach To decide contrary to appearances to judge from what they knew not would prove them to be brutish and not rational would make their decision of no worth and render them in their turn objects of neglect and contempt
It is true that I hated school that I sought occasions of absence and finally on being struck by the master determined to enter his presence no more I loved to leap to run to swim to climb trees and to clamber up rocks to shroud myself in thickets and stroll among woods to obey the impulse of the moment and to prate or be silent just as my humour prompted me All this I loved more than to go to and fro in the same path and at stated hours to look off and on a book to read just as much and of such a kind to stand up and be seated just as another thought proper to direct I hated to be classed cribbed rebuked and feruled at the pleasure of one who as it seemed to me knew no guide in his rewards but caprice and no prompter in his punishments but passion
It is true that I took up the spade and the hoe as rarely and for as short a time as possible I preferred to ramble in the forest and loiter on the hill perpetually to change the scene to scrutinize the endless variety of objects to compare one leaf and pebble with another to pursue those trains of thought which their resemblances and differences suggested to inquire what it was that gave them this place structure and form were more agreeable employments than ploughing and threshing
My father could well afford to hire labour What my age and my constitution enabled me to do could be done by a sturdy boy in half the time with half the toil and with none of the reluctance The boy was a bondservant and the cost of his clothing and food was next to nothing True it is that my service would have saved him even this expense but my motives for declining the effort were not hastily weighed or superficially examined These were my motives
My frame was delicate and feeble Exposure to wet blasts and vertical suns was sure to make me sick My father was insensible to this consequence and no degree of diligence would please him but that which would destroy my health My health was dearer to my mother than to me She was more anxious to exempt me from possible injuries than reason justified but anxious she was and I could not save her from anxiety but by almost wholly abstaining from labour I thought her peace of mind was of some value and that if the inclination of either of my parents must be gratified at the expense of the other the preference was due to the woman who bore me who nursed me in disease who watched over my safety with incessant tenderness whose life and whose peace were involved in mine I should have deemed myself brutish and obdurately wicked to have loaded her with fears and cares merely to smooth the brow of a froward old man whose avarice called on me to sacrifice my ease and my health and who shifted to other shoulders the province of sustaining me when sick and of mourning for me when dead
I likewise believed that it became me to reflect upon the influence of my decision on my own happiness and to weigh the profits flowing to my father from my labour against the benefits of mental exercise the pleasures of the woods and streams healthful sensations and the luxury of musing The pecuniary profit was petty and contemptible It obviated no necessity It purchased no rational enjoyment It merely provoked by furnishing the means of indulgence an appetite from which my father was not exempt It cherished the seeds of depravity in him and lessened the little stock of happiness belonging to my mother
I did not detain you long my friends in portraying my parents and recounting domestic incidents when I first told you my story What had no connection with the history of Welbeck and with the part that I have acted upon this stage I thought it proper to omit My omission was likewise prompted by other reasons My mind is enervated and feeble like my body I cannot look upon the sufferings of those I love without exquisite pain I cannot steel my heart by the force of reason and by submission to necessity and therefore too frequently employ the cowardly expedient of endeavouring to forget what I cannot remember without agony
I told you that my father was sober and industrious by habit but habit is not uniform There were intervals when his plodding and tame spirit gave place to the malice and fury of a demon Liquors were not sought by him but he could not withstand entreaty and a potion that produced no effect upon others changed him into a maniac
I told you that I had a sister whom the arts of a villain destroyed Alas the work of her destruction was left unfinished by him The blows and contumelies of a misjudging and implacable parent who scrupled not to thrust her with her newborn infant out of doors the curses and taunts of unnatural brothers left her no alternative but death——But I must not think of this I must not think of the wrongs which my mother endured in the person of her only and darling daughter
My brothers were the copyists of the father whom they resembled in temper and person My mother doted on her own image in her daughter and in me This daughter was ravished from her by selfviolence and her other children by disease I only remained to appropriate her affections and fulfil her hopes This alone had furnished a sufficient reason why I should be careful of my health and my life but my fathers character supplied me with a motive infinitely more cogent
It is almost incredible but nevertheless true that the only being whose presence and remonstrances had any influence on my father at moments when his reason was extinct was myself As to my personal strength it was nothing yet my mothers person was rescued from brutal violence he was checked in the midst of his ferocious career by a single look or exclamation from me The fear of my rebukes had even some influence in enabling him to resist temptation If I entered the tavern at the moment when he was lifting the glass to his lips I never weighed the injunctions of decorum but snatching the vessel from his hand I threw it on the ground I was not deterred by the presence of others and their censures on my want of filial respect and duty were listened to with unconcern I chose not to justify myself by expatiating on domestic miseries and by calling down that pity on my mother which I knew would only have increased her distress
The world regarded my deportment as insolent and perverse to a degree of insanity To deny my father an indulgence which they thought harmless and which indeed was harmless in its influence on other men to interfere thus publicly with his social enjoyments and expose him to mortification and shame was loudly condemned but my duty to my mother debarred me from eluding this censure on the only terms on which it could have been eluded Now it has ceased to be necessary to conceal what passed in domestic retirements and I should willingly confess the truth before any audience
At first my father imagined that threats and blows would intimidate his monitor In this he was mistaken and the detection of this mistake impressed him with an involuntary reverence for me which set bounds to those excesses which disdained any other control Hence I derived new motives for cherishing a life which was useful in so many ways to my mother
My condition is now changed I am no longer on that field to which the law as well as reason must acknowledge that I had some right while there was any in my father I must hazard my life if need be in the pursuit of the means of honest subsistence I never spared myself while in the service of Mr Hadwin and at a more inclement season should probably have incurred some hazard by my diligence
These were the motives of my idleness—for my abstaining from the common toils of the farm passed by that name among my neighbours though in truth my time was far from being wholly unoccupied by manual employments but these required less exertion of body or mind or were more connected with intellectual efforts They were pursued in the seclusion of my chamber or the recesses of a wood I did not labour to conceal them but neither was I anxious to attract notice It was sufficient that the censure of my neighbours was unmerited to make me regard it with indifference
I sought not the society of persons of my own age not from sullen or unsociable habits but merely because those around me were totally unlike myself Their tastes and occupations were incompatible with mine In my few books in my pen in the vegetable and animal existences around me I found companions who adapted their visits and intercourse to my convenience and caprice and with whom I was never tired of communing
I was not unaware of the opinion which my neighbours had formed of my being improperly connected with Betty Lawrence I am not sorry that I fell into company with that girl Her intercourse has instructed me in what some would think impossible to be attained by one who had never haunted the impure recesses of licentiousness in a city The knowledge which a residence in this town for ten years gave her audacious and inquisitive spirit she imparted to me Her character profligate and artful libidinous and impudent and made up of the impressions which a city life had produced on her coarse but active mind was open to my study and I studied it
I scarcely know how to repel the charge of illicit conduct and to depict the exact species of intercourse subsisting between us I always treated her with freedom and sometimes with gayety I had no motives to reserve I was so formed that a creature like her had no power over my senses That species of temptation adapted to entice me from the true path was widely different from the artifices of Betty There was no point at which it was possible for her to get possession of my fancy I watched her while she practised all her tricks and blandishments as I regarded a similar deportment in the animal salax ignavumque who inhabits the sty I made efforts to pursue my observations unembarrassed but my efforts were made not to restrain desire but to suppress disgust The difficulty lay not in withholding my caresses but in forbearing to repulse her with rage
Decorum indeed was not outraged and all limits were not overstepped at once Dubious advances were employed but when found unavailing were displaced by more shameless and direct proceedings She was too little versed in human nature to see that her last expedient was always worse than the preceding and that in proportion as she lost sight of decency she multiplied the obstacles to her success
Betty had many enticements in person and air She was ruddy smooth and plump To these she added—I must not say what for it is strange to what lengths a woman destitute of modesty will sometimes go But all her artifices availing her not at all in the contest with my insensibilities she resorted to extremes which it would serve no good purpose to describe in this audience They produced not the consequences she wished but they produced another which was by no means displeasing to her An incident one night occurred from which a sagacious observer deduced the existence of an intrigue It was useless to attempt to rectify his mistake by explaining appearances in a manner consistent with my innocence This mode of explication implied a continence in me which he denied to be possible The standard of possibilities especially in vice and virtue is fashioned by most men after their own character A temptation which this judge of human nature knew that he was unable to resist he sagely concluded to be irresistible by any other man and quickly established the belief among my neighbours that the woman who married the father had been prostituted to the son Though I never admitted the truth of this aspersion I believed it useless to deny because no one would credit my denial and because I had no power to disprove it
CHAPTER XXXVIII
What other inquiries were to be resolved by our young friend we were now at this late hour obliged to postpone till the morrow I shall pass over the reflections which a story like this would naturally suggest and hasten to our next interview
After breakfast next morning the subject of last nights conversation was renewed I told him that something had occurred in his absence in relation to Mrs Wentworth and her nephew that had perplexed us not a little My information is obtained continued I from Wortley and it is nothing less than that young Clavering Mrs Wentworths nephew is at this time actually alive
Surprise but none of the embarrassment of guilt appeared in his countenance at these tidings He looked at me as if desirous that I should proceed
It seems added I that a letter was lately received by this lady from the father of Clavering who is now in Europe This letter reports that this son was lately met with in Charleston and relates the means which old Mr Clavering had used to prevail upon his son to return home means of the success of which he entertained wellgrounded hopes What think you
I can only reject it said he after some pause as untrue The fathers correspondent may have been deceived The father may have been deceived or the father may conceive it necessary to deceive the aunt or some other supposition as to the source of the error may be true but an error it surely is Clavering is not alive I know the chamber where he died and the withered pine under which he lies buried
If she be deceived said I it will be impossible to rectify her error
I hope not An honest front and a straight story will be sufficient
How do you mean to act
Visit her without doubt and tell her the truth My tale will be too circumstantial and consistent to permit her to disbelieve
She will not hearken to you She is too strongly prepossessed against you to admit you even to a hearing
She cannot help it Unless she lock her door against me or stuff her ears with wool she must hear me Her prepossessions are reasonable but are easily removed by telling the truth Why does she suspect me of artifice Because I seemed to be allied to Welbeck and because I disguised the truth That she thinks ill of me is not her fault but my misfortune and happily for me a misfortune easily removed
Then you will try to see her
I will see her and the sooner the better I will see her today this morning as soon as I have seen Welbeck whom I shall immediately visit in his prison
There are other embarrassments and dangers of which you are not aware Welbeck is pursued by many persons whom he has defrauded of large sums By these persons you are deemed an accomplice in his guilt and a warrant is already in the hands of officers for arresting you wherever you are found
In what way said Mervyn sedately do they imagine me a partaker of his crime
I know not You lived with him You fled with him You aided and connived at his escape
Are these crimes
I believe not but they subject you to suspicion
To arrest and to punishment
To detention for a while perhaps But these alone cannot expose you to punishment
I thought so Then I have nothing to fear
You have imprisonment and obloquy at least to dread
True but they cannot be avoided but by my exile and skulking out of sight—evils infinitely more formidable I shall therefore not avoid them The sooner my conduct is subjected to scrutiny the better Will you go with me to Welbeck
I will go with you
Inquiring for Welbeck of the keeper of the prison we were informed that he was in his own apartment very sick The physician attending the prison had been called but the prisoner had preserved an obstinate and scornful silence and had neither explained his condition nor consented to accept any aid
We now went alone into his apartment His sensibility seemed fast ebbing yet an emotion of joy was visible in his eyes at the appearance of Mervyn He seemed likewise to recognise in me his late visitant and made no objection to my entrance
How are you this morning said Arthur seating himself on the bedside and taking his hand The sick man was scarcely able to articulate his reply—I shall soon be well I have longed to see you I want to leave with you a few words He now cast his languid eyes on me You are his friend he continued You know all You may stay
There now succeeded a long pause during which he closed his eyes and resigned himself as if to an oblivion of all thought His pulse under my hand was scarcely perceptible From this in some minutes he recovered and fixing his eyes on Mervyn resumed in a broken and feeble accent—
Clemenza You have seen her Weeks ago I left her in an accursed house yet she has not been mistreated Neglected and abandoned indeed but not mistreated Save her Mervyn Comfort her Awaken charity for her sake
I cannot tell you what has happened The tale would be too long—too mournful Yet in justice to the living I must tell you something My woes and my crimes will be buried with me Some of them but not all
Ere this I should have been many leagues upon the ocean had not a newspaper fallen into my hands while on the eve of embarkation By that I learned that a treasure was buried with the remains of the illfated Watson I was destitute I was unjust enough to wish to make this treasure my own Prone to think I was forgotten or numbered with the victims of pestilence I ventured to return under a careless disguise I penetrated to the vaults of that deserted dwelling by night I dug up the bones of my friend and found the girdle and its valuable contents according to the accurate description that I had read
I hastened back with my prize to Baltimore but my evil destiny overtook me at last I was recognised by emissaries of Jamieson arrested and brought hither and here shall I consummate my fate and defeat the rage of my creditors by death But first——
Here Welbeck stretched out his left hand to Mervyn and after some reluctance showed a roll of lead
Receive this said he In the use of it be guided by your honesty and by the same advertisement that furnished me the clue by which to recover it That being secured the world and I will part forever Withdraw for your presence can help me nothing
We were unwilling to comply with his injunction and continued some longer time in his chamber but our kind intent availed nothing He quickly relapsed into insensibility from which he recovered not again but next day expired Such in the flower of his age was the fate of Thomas Welbeck
Whatever interest I might feel in accompanying the progress of my young friend a sudden and unforeseen emergency compelled me again to leave the city A kinsman to whom I was bound by many obligations was suffering a lingering disease and imagining with some reason his dissolution to be not far distant he besought my company and my assistance to soothe at least the agonies of his last hour I was anxious to clear up the mysteries which Arthurs conduct had produced and to shield him if possible from the evils which I feared awaited him It was impossible however to decline the invitation of my kinsman as his residence was not a days journey from the city I was obliged to content myself with occasional information imparted by Mervyns letters or those of my wife
Meanwhile on leaving the prison I hasted to inform Mervyn of the true nature of the scene which had just passed By this extraordinary occurrence the property of the Maurices was now in honest hands Welbeck stimulated by selfish motives had done that which any other person would have found encompassed with formidable dangers and difficulties How this attempt was suggested or executed he had not informed us nor was it desirable to know It was sufficient that the means of restoring their own to a destitute and meritorious family were now in our possession
Having returned home I unfolded to Mervyn all the particulars respecting Williams and the Maurices which I had lately learned from Wortley He listened with deep attention and my story being finished he said In this small compass then is the patrimony and subsistence of a numerous family To restore it to them is the obvious proceeding—but how Where do they abide
Williams and Watsons wife live in Baltimore and the Maurices live near that town The advertisements alluded to by Wortley and which are to be found in any newspaper will inform us but first are we sure that any or all of these bills are contained in this covering
The lead was now unrolled and the bills which Williams had described were found enclosed Nothing appeared to be deficient Of this however we were scarcely qualified to judge Those that were the property of Williams might not be entire and what would be the consequence of presenting them to him if any had been embezzled by Welbeck
This difficulty was obviated by Mervyn who observed that the advertisement describing these bills would afford us ample information on this head Having found out where the Maurices and Mrs Watson live nothing remains but to visit them and put an end as far as lies in my power to their inquietudes
What Would you go to Baltimore
Certainly Can any other expedient be proper How shall I otherwise insure the safe conveyance of these papers
You may send them by post
But why not go myself
I can hardly tell unless your appearance on such an errand may be suspected likely to involve you in embarrassments
What embarrassments If they receive their own ought they not to be satisfied
The inquiry will naturally be made as to the manner of gaining possession of these papers They were lately in the hands of Watson but Watson has disappeared Suspicions are awake respecting the cause of his disappearance These suspicions are connected with Welbeck and Welbecks connection with you is not unknown
These are evils but I see not how an ingenious and open conduct is adapted to increase these evils If they come I must endure them
I believe your decision is right No one is so skilful an advocate in a cause as he whose cause it is I rely upon your skill and address and shall leave you to pursue your own way I must leave you for a time but shall expect to be punctually informed of all that passes With this agreement we parted and I hastened to perform my intended journey
CHAPTER XXXIX
I am glad my friend thy nimble pen has got so far upon its journey What remains of my story may be despatched in a trice I have just now some vacant hours which might possibly be more usefully employed but not in an easier manner or more pleasant So let me carry on thy thread
First let me mention the resolutions I had formed at the time I parted with my friend I had several objects in view One was a conference with Mrs Wentworth another was an interview with her whom I met with at Villarss My heart melted when I thought upon the desolate condition of Clemenza and determined me to direct my first efforts for her relief For this end I was to visit the female who had given me a direction to her house The name of this person is Achsa Fielding and she lived according to her own direction at No 40 Walnut Street
I went thither without delay She was not at home Having gained information from the servant as to when she might be found I proceeded to Mrs Wentworths In going thither my mind was deeply occupied in meditation and with my usual carelessness of forms I entered the house and made my way to the parlour where an interview had formerly taken place between us
Having arrived I began though somewhat unseasonably to reflect upon the topics with which I should introduce my conversation and particularly the manner in which I should introduce myself I had opened doors without warning and traversed passages without being noticed This had arisen from my thoughtlessness There was no one within hearing or sight What was next to be done Should I not return softly to the outer door and summon the servant by knocking
Preparing to do this I heard a footstep in the entry which suspended my design I stood in the middle of the floor attentive to these movements when presently the door opened and there entered the apartment Mrs Wentworth herself She came as it seemed without expectation of finding any one there When therefore the figure of a man caught her vagrant attention she started and cast a hasty look towards me
Pray in a peremptory tone how came you here sir and what is your business
Neither arrogance on the one hand nor humility upon the other had any part in modelling my deportment I came not to deprecate anger or exult over distress I answered therefore distinctly firmly and erectly—
I came to see you madam and converse with you but being busy with other thoughts I forgot to knock at the door No evil was intended by my negligence though propriety has certainly not been observed Will you pardon this intrusion and condescend to grant me your attention
To what What have you to say to me I know you only as the accomplice of a villain in an attempt to deceive me There is nothing to justify your coming hither and I desire you to leave the house with as little ceremony as you entered it
My eyes were lowered at this rebuke yet I did not obey the command Your treatment of me madam is such as I appear to you to deserve Appearances are unfavourable to me but those appearances are false I have concurred in no plot against your reputation or your fortune I have told you nothing but the truth I came hither to promote no selfish or sinister purpose I have no favour to entreat and no petition to offer but that you will suffer me to clear up those mistakes which you have harboured respecting me
I am poor I am destitute of fame and of kindred I have nothing to console me in obscurity and indigence but the approbation of my own heart and the good opinion of those who know me as I am The good may be led to despise and condemn me Their aversion and scorn shall not make me unhappy but it is my interest and my duty to rectify their error if I can I regard your character with esteem You have been mistaken in condemning me as a liar and impostor and I came to remove this mistake I came if not to procure your esteem at least to take away hatred and suspicion
But this is not all my purpose You are in an error in relation not only to my character but to the situation of your nephew Clavering I formerly told you that I saw him die that I assisted at his burial but my tale was incoherent and imperfect and you have since received intelligence to which you think proper to trust and which assures you that he is still living All I now ask is your attention while I relate the particulars of my knowledge
Proof of my veracity or innocence may be of no value in your eyes but the fate of your nephew ought to be known to you Certainty on this head may be of much importance to your happiness and to the regulation of your future conduct To hear me patiently can do you no injury and may benefit you much Will you permit me to go on
During this address little abatement of resentment and scorn was visible in my companion
I will hear you she replied Your invention may amuse if it does not edify But I pray you let your story be short
I was obliged to be content with this ungraceful concession and proceeded to begin my narration I described the situation of my fathers dwelling I mentioned the year month day and hour of her nephews appearance among us I expatiated minutely on his form features dress sound of his voice and repeated his words His favourite gestures and attitudes were faithfully described
I had gone but a little way in my story when the effects were visible in her demeanour which I expected from it Her knowledge of the youth and of the time and manner of his disappearance made it impossible for me with so minute a narrative to impose upon her credulity Every word every incident related attested my truth by their agreement with what she herself previously knew
Her suspicious and angry watchfulness was quickly exchanged for downcast looks and stealing tears and sighs difficultly repressed Meanwhile I did not pause but described the treatment he received from my mothers tenderness his occupations the freaks of his insanity and finally the circumstances of his death and funeral
Thence I hastened to the circumstances which brought me to the city which placed me in the service of Welbeck and obliged me to perform so ambiguous a part in her presence I left no difficulty to be solved and no question unanticipated
I have now finished my story I continued and accomplished my design in coming hither Whether I have vindicated my integrity from your suspicions I know not I have done what in me lay to remove your error and in that have done my duty What more remains Any inquiries you are pleased to make I am ready to answer If there be none to make I will comply with your former commands and leave the house with as little ceremony as I entered it
Your story she replied has been unexpected I believe it fully and am sorry for the hard thoughts which past appearances have made me entertain concerning you
Here she sunk into mournful silence The information she at length resumed which I have received from another quarter respecting that unfortunate youth astonishes and perplexes me It is inconsistent with your story but it must be founded on some mistake which I am at present unable to unravel Welbeck whose connection has been so unfortunate to you——
Unfortunate Dear madam How unfortunate It has done away a part of my ignorance of the world in which I live It has led me to the situation in which I am now placed It has introduced me to the knowledge of many good people It has made me the witness and the subject of many acts of beneficence and generosity My knowledge of Welbeck has been useful to me It has enabled me to be useful to others I look back upon that allotment of my destiny which first led me to his door with gratitude and pleasure
Would to heaven continued I somewhat changing my tone intercourse with Welbeck had been as harmless to all others as it has been to me that no injury to fortune and fame and innocence and life had been incurred by others greater than has fallen upon my head There is one being whose connection with him has not been utterly dissimilar in its origin and circumstances to mine though the catastrophe has indeed been widely and mournfully different
And yet within this moment a thought has occurred from which I derive some consolation and some hope You dear madam are rich These spacious apartments this plentiful accommodation are yours You have enough for your own gratification and convenience and somewhat to spare Will you take to your protecting arms to your hospitable roof an unhappy girl whom the arts of Welbeck have robbed of fortune reputation and honour who is now languishing in poverty weeping over the lifeless remains of her babe surrounded by the agents of vice and trembling on the verge of infamy
What can this mean replied the lady Of whom do you speak
You shall know her You shall be apprized of her claims to your compassion Her story as far as is known to me I will faithfully repeat to you She is a stranger an Italian her name is Clemenza Lodi
Clemenza Lodi Good heaven exclaimed Mrs Wentworth why surely—it cannot be And yet—is it possible that you are that person
I do not comprehend you madam
A friend has related a transaction of a strange sort It is scarcely an hour since she told it me The name of Clemenza Lodi was mentioned in it and a young man of most singular deportment was described But tell me how you were engaged on Thursday morning
I was coming to this city from a distance I stopped ten minutes at the house of——
Mrs Villars
The same Perhaps you know her and her character Perhaps you can confirm or rectify my present opinions concerning her It is there that the unfortunate Clemenza abides It is thence that I wish her to be speedily removed
I have heard of you of your conduct upon that occasion
Of me answered I eagerly Do you know that woman So saying I produced the card which I had received from her and on which her name was written
I know her well She is my countrywoman and my friend
Your friend Then she is good she is innocent she is generous Will she be a sister a protectress to Clemenza Will you exhort her to a deed of charity Will you be yourself an example of beneficence Direct me to Miss Fielding I beseech you I have called on her already but in vain and there is no time to be lost
Why are you so precipitate What would you do
Take her away from that house instantly—bring her hither—place her under your protection—give her Mrs Wentworth for a counsellor—a friend—a mother Shall I do this Shall I hie thither today this very hour—now Give me your consent and she shall be with you before noon
By no means replied she with earnestness You are too hasty An affair of so much importance cannot be despatched in a moment There are many difficulties and doubts to be first removed
Let them be reserved for the future Withhold not your helping hand till the struggle has disappeared forever Think on the gulf that is already gaping to swallow her This is no time to hesitate and falter I will tell you her story but not now we will postpone it till tomorrow and first secure her from impending evils She shall tell it you herself In an hour I will bring her hither and she herself shall recount to you her sorrows Will you let me
Your behaviour is extraordinary I can scarcely tell whether this simplicity be real or affected One would think that your common sense would show you the impropriety of your request To admit under my roof a woman notoriously dishonoured and from an infamous house——
My dearest madam How can you reflect upon the situation without irresistible pity I see that you are thoroughly aware of her past calamity and her present danger Do not these urge you to make haste to her relief Can any lot be more deplorable than hers Can any state be more perilous Poverty is not the only evil that oppresses or that threatens her The scorn of the world and her own compunction the death of the fruit of her error and the witness of her shame are not the worst She is exposed to the temptations of the profligate while she remains with Mrs Villars her infamy accumulates her further debasement is facilitated her return to reputation and to virtue is obstructed by new bars
How know I that her debasement is not already complete and irremediable She is a mother but not a wife How came she thus Is her being Welbecks prostitute no proof of her guilt
Alas I know not I believe her not very culpable I know her to be unfortunate to have been robbed and betrayed You are a stranger to her history I am myself imperfectly acquainted with it
But let me tell you the little that I know Perhaps my narrative may cause you to think of her as I do
She did not object to this proposal and I immediately recounted all that I had gained from my own observations or from Welbeck himself respecting this forlorn girl Having finished my narrative I proceeded thus—
Can you hesitate to employ that power which was given you for good ends to rescue this sufferer Take her to your home to your bosom to your confidence Keep aloof those temptations which beset her in her present situation Restore her to that purity which her desolate condition her ignorance her misplaced gratitude and the artifices of a skilful dissembler have destroyed if it be destroyed for how know we under what circumstances her ruin was accomplished With what pretences or appearances or promises she was won to compliance
True I confess my ignorance but ought not that ignorance to be removed before she makes a part of my family
Oh no It may be afterwards removed It cannot be removed before By bringing her hither you shield her at least from future and possible evils Here you can watch her conduct and sift her sentiments conveniently and at leisure Should she prove worthy of your charity how justly may you congratulate yourself on your seasonable efforts in her cause If she prove unworthy you may then demean yourself according to her demerits
I must reflect upon it—Tomorrow——
Let me prevail on you to admit her at once and without delay This very moment may be the critical one Today we may exert ourselves with success but tomorrow all our efforts may be fruitless Why fluctuate why linger when so much good may be done and no evil can possibly be incurred It requires but a word from you you need not move a finger Your house is large You have chambers vacant and convenient Consent only that your door shall not be barred against her that you will treat her with civility to carry your kindness into effect to persuade her to attend me hither and to place herself in your care shall be my province
These and many similar entreaties and reasonings were ineffectual Her general disposition was kind but she was unaccustomed to strenuous or sudden exertions To admit the persuasions of such an advocate to so uncommon a scheme as that of sharing her house with a creature thus previously unknown to her thus loaded with suspicion and with obloquy was not possible
I at last forbore importunity and requested her to tell me when I might expect to meet with Mrs Fielding at her lodgings Inquiry was made to what end I sought an interview I made no secret of my purpose
Are you mad young man she exclaimed Mrs Fielding has already been egregiously imprudent On the faith of an ancient slight acquaintance with Mrs Villars in Europe she suffered herself to be decoyed into a visit Instead of taking warning by numerous tokens of the real character of that woman in her behaviour and in that of her visitants she consented to remain there one night The next morning took place that astonishing interview with you which she has since described to me She is now warned against the like indiscretion And pray what benevolent scheme would you propose to her
Has she property Is she rich
She is Unhappily perhaps for her she is absolute mistress of her fortune and has neither guardian nor parent to control her in the use of it
Has she virtue Does she know the value of affluence and a fair fame And will not she devote a few dollars to rescue a fellowcreature from indigence and infamy and vice Surely she will She will hazard nothing by the boon I will be her almoner I will provide the wretched stranger with food and raiment and dwelling I will pay for all if Mrs Fielding from her superfluity will supply the means Clemenza shall owe life and honour to your friend till I am able to supply the needful sum from my own stock
While thus speaking my companion gazed at me with steadfastness—I know not what to make of you Your language and ideas are those of a lunatic Are you acquainted with Mrs Fielding
Yes I have seen her two days ago and she has invited me to see her again
And on the strength of this acquaintance you expect to be her almoner To be the medium of her charity
I desire to save her trouble to make charity as light and easy as possible Twill be better if she perform those offices herself Twill redound more to the credit of her reason and her virtue But I solicit her benignity only in the cause of Clemenza For her only do I wish at present to call forth her generosity and pity
And do you imagine she will intrust her money to one of your age and sex whom she knows so imperfectly to administer to the wants of one whom she found in such a house as Mrs Villarss She never will She mentioned her imprudent engagement to meet you but she is now warned against the folly of such confidence
You have told me plausible stories of yourself and of this Clemenza I cannot say that I disbelieve them but I know the ways of the world too well to bestow implicit faith so easily You are an extraordinary young man You may possibly be honest Such a one as you with your education and address may possibly have passed all your life in a hovel but it is scarcely credible let me tell you I believe most of the facts respecting my nephew because my knowledge of him before his flight would enable me to detect your falsehood but there must be other proofs besides an innocent brow and a voluble tongue to make me give full credit to your pretensions
I have no claim upon Welbeck which can embarrass you On that score you are free from any molestation from me or my friends I have suspected you of being an accomplice in some vile plot and am now inclined to acquit you but that is all that you must expect from me till your character be established by other means than your own assertions I am engaged at present and must therefore request you to put an end to your visit
This strain was much unlike the strain which preceded it I imagined by the mildness of her tone and manners that her unfavourable prepossessions were removed but they seemed to have suddenly regained their pristine force I was somewhat disconcerted by this unexpected change I stood for a minute silent and irresolute
Just then a knock was heard at the door and presently entered that very female whom I had met with at Villarss I caught her figure as I glanced through the window Mrs Wentworth darted at me many significant glances which commanded me to withdraw but with this object in view it was impossible
As soon as she entered her eyes were fixed upon me Certain recollections naturally occurred at that moment and made her cheeks glow Some confusion reigned for a moment but was quickly dissipated She did not notice me but exchanged salutations with her friend
All this while I stood near the window in a situation not a little painful Certain tremors which I had not been accustomed to feel and which seemed to possess a mystical relation to the visitant disabled me at once from taking my leave or from performing any useful purpose by staying At length struggling for composure I approached her and showing her the card she had given me said—
Agreeably to this direction I called an hour ago at your lodgings I found you not I hope you will permit me to call once more When shall I expect to meet you at home
Her eyes were cast on the floor A kind of indirect attention was fixed on Mrs Wentworth serving to intimidate and check her At length she said in an irresolute voice I shall be at home this evening
And this evening replied I I will call to see you So saying I left the house
This interval was tedious but was to be endured with equanimity I was impatient to be gone to Baltimore and hoped to be able to set out by the dawn of next day Meanwhile I was necessarily to perform something with respect to Clemenza
After dinner I accompanied Mrs Stevens to visit Miss Carlton I was eager to see a woman who could bear adversity in the manner which my friend had described
She met us at the door of her apartment Her seriousness was not abated by her smiles of affability and welcome My friend whispered I how truly lovely is this Miss Carlton Are the heart and the intelligence within worthy of these features
Yes they are The account of her employments of her resignation to the ill fate of the brother whom she loves proves that they are
My eyes were riveted to her countenance and person I felt uncontrollable eagerness to speak to her and to gain her good opinion
You must know this young man my dear Miss Carlton said my friend looking at me he is my husbands friend and professes a great desire to be yours You must not treat him as a mere stranger for he knows your character and situation already as well as that of your brother
She looked at me with benignity—I accept his friendship willingly and gratefully and shall endeavour to convince him that his good opinion is not misplaced
There now ensued a conversation somewhat general in which this young woman showed a mind vigorous from exercise and unembarrassed by care She affected no concealment of her own condition of her wants or her comforts She laid no stress upon misfortunes but contrived to deduce some beneficial consequence to herself and some motive for gratitude to Heaven from every wayward incident that had befallen her
This demeanour emboldened me at length to inquire into the cause of her brothers imprisonment and the nature of his debt
She answered frankly and without hesitation—It is a debt of his fathers for which he made himself responsible during his fathers life The act was generous but imprudent as the event has shown though at the time the unhappy effects could not be foreseen
My father continued she was arrested by his creditor at a time when the calmness and comforts of his own dwelling were necessary to his health The creditor was obdurate and would release him upon no condition but that of receiving a bond from my brother by which he engaged to pay the debt at several successive times and in small portions All these instalments were discharged with great difficulty indeed but with sufficient punctuality except the last to which my brothers earnings were not adequate
How much is the debt
Four hundred dollars
And is the state of the creditor such as to make the loss of four hundred dollars of more importance to him than the loss of liberty to your brother
She answered smiling That is a very abstract view of things On such a question you and I might perhaps easily decide in favour of my brother but would there not be some danger of deciding partially His conduct is a proof of his decision and there is no power to change it
Will not argument change it Methinks in so plain a case I should be able to convince him You say he is rich and childless His annual income is ten times more than this sum Your brother cannot pay the debt while in prison whereas if at liberty he might slowly and finally discharge it If his humanity would not yield his avarice might be brought to acquiesce
But there is another passion which you would find it somewhat harder to subdue and that is his vengeance He thinks himself wronged and imprisons my brother not to enforce payment but to inflict misery If you could persuade him that there is no hardship in imprisonment you would speedily gain the victory but that could not be attempted consistently with truth In proportion to my brothers suffering is his gratification
You draw an odious and almost incredible portrait
And yet such a one would serve for the likeness of almost every second man we meet
And is such your opinion of mankind Your experience must surely have been of a rueful tenor to justify such hard thoughts of the rest of your species
By no means It has been what those whose situation disables them from looking further than the surface of things would regard as unfortunate but if my goods and evils were equitably balanced the former would be the weightiest I have found kindness and goodness in great numbers but have likewise met prejudice and rancor in many My opinion of Farquhar is not lightly taken up I saw him yesterday and the nature of his motives in the treatment of my brother was plain enough
Here this topic was succeeded by others and the conversation ceased not till the hour had arrived on which I had preconcerted to visit Mrs Fielding I left my two friends for this purpose
I was admitted to Mrs Fieldings presence without scruple or difficulty There were two females in her company and one of the other sex welldressed elderly and sedate persons Their discourse turned upon political topics with which as you know I have but slight acquaintance They talked of fleets and armies of Robespierre and Pitt of whom I had only a newspaperknowledge
In a short time the women rose and huddling on their cloaks disappeared in company with the gentleman Being thus left alone with Mrs Fielding some embarrassment was mutually betrayed With much hesitation which however gradually disappeared my companion at length began the conversation—
You met me lately in a situation sir on which I look back with trembling and shame but not with any selfcondemnation I was led into it without any fault unless a too hasty confidence may be styled a fault I had known Mrs Villars in England where she lived with an untainted reputation at least and the sight of my countrywoman in a foreign land awakened emotions in the indulgence of which I did not imagine there was either any guilt or any danger She invited me to see her at her house with so much urgency and warmth and solicited me to take a place immediately in a chaise in which she had come to the city that I too incautiously complied
You are a stranger to me and I am unacquainted with your character What little I have seen of your deportment and what little I have lately heard concerning you from Mrs Wentworth do not produce unfavourable impressions but the apology I have made was due to my own reputation and should have been offered to you whatever your character had been There she stopped
I came not hither said I to receive an apology Your demeanour on our first interview shielded you sufficiently from any suspicions or surmises that I could form What you have now mentioned was likewise mentioned by your friend and was fully believed upon her authority My purpose in coming related not to you but to another I desired merely to interest your generosity and justice on behalf of one whose destitute and dangerous condition may lay claim to your compassion and your succour
I comprehend you said she with an air of some perplexity I know the claims of that person
And will you comply with them
In what manner can I serve her
By giving her the means of living
Does she not possess them already
She is destitute Her dependence was wholly placed upon one that is dead by whom her person was dishonoured and her fortune embezzled
But she still lives She is not turned into the street She is not destitute of home
But what a home
Such as she may choose to remain in
She cannot choose it She must not choose it She remains through ignorance or through the incapacity of leaving it
But how shall she be persuaded to a change
I will persuade her I will fully explain her situation I will supply her with a new home
You will persuade her to go with you and to live at a home of your providing and on your bounty
Certainly
Would that change be worthy of a cautious person Would it benefit her reputation Would it prove her love of independence
My purposes are good I know not why she should suspect them But I am only anxious to be the instrument Let her be indebted to one of her own sex of unquestionable reputation Admit her into this house Invite her to your arms Cherish and console her as your sister
Before I am convinced that she deserves it And even then what regard shall I young unmarried independent affluent pay to my own reputation in harbouring a woman in these circumstances
But you need not act yourself Make me your agent and almoner Only supply her with the means of subsistence through me
Would you have me act a clandestine part Hold meetings with one of your sex and give him money for a purpose which I must hide from the world Is it worth while to be a dissembler and impostor And will not such conduct incur more dangerous surmises and suspicions than would arise from acting openly and directly You will forgive me for reminding you likewise that it is particularly incumbent upon those in my situation to be circumspect in their intercourse with men and with strangers This is the second time that I have seen you My knowledge of you is extremely dubious and imperfect and such as would make the conduct you prescribe to me in a high degree rash and culpable You must not therefore expect me to pursue it
These words were delivered with an air of firmness and dignity I was not insensible to the truth of her representations I confess said I what you have said makes me doubt the propriety of my proposal yet I would fain be of service to her Cannot you point out some practicable method
She was silent and thoughtful and seemed indisposed to answer my question
I had set my heart upon success in this negotiation continued I and could not imagine any obstacle to its success but I find my ignorance of the worlds ways much greater than I had previously expected You defraud yourself of all the happiness redounding from the act of making others happy You sacrifice substance to show and are more anxious to prevent unjust aspersions from lighting on yourself than to rescue a fellowcreature from guilt and infamy
You are rich and abound in all the conveniences and luxuries of life A small portion of your superfluity would obviate the wants of a being not less worthy than yourself It is not avarice or aversion to labour that makes you withhold your hand It is dread of the sneers and surmises of malevolence and ignorance
I will not urge you further at present Your determination to be wise should not be hasty Think upon the subject calmly and sedately and form your resolution in the course of three days At the end of that period I will visit you again So saying and without waiting for comment or answer I withdrew
CHAPTER XL
I mounted the stagecoach at daybreak the next day in company with a sallow Frenchman from St Domingo his fiddlecase an ape and two female blacks The Frenchman after passing the suburbs took out his violin and amused himself with humming to his own tweedletweedle The monkey now and then munched an apple which was given to him from a basket by the blacks who gazed with stupid wonder and an exclamatory La La upon the passing scenery or chattered to each other in a sort of openmouthed halfarticulate monotonous singsong jargon
The man looked seldom either on this side or that and spoke only to rebuke the frolics of the monkey with a Tenez Dominique Prenez garde Diable noir
As to me my thought was busy in a thousand ways I sometimes gazed at the faces of my four companions and endeavoured to discern the differences and samenesses between them I took an exact account of the features proportions looks and gestures of the monkey the Congolese and the Creole Gaul I compared them together and examined them apart I looked at them in a thousand different points of view and pursued untired and unsatiated those trains of reflections which began at each change of tone feature and attitude
I marked the country as it successively arose before me and found endless employment in examining the shape and substance of the fence the barn and the cottage the aspect of earth and of heaven How great are the pleasures of health and of mental activity
My chief occupation however related to the scenes into which I was about to enter My imaginations were of course crude and inadequate and I found an uncommon gratification in comparing realities as they successively occurred with the pictures which my wayward fancy had depicted
I will not describe my dreams My proper task is to relate the truth Neither shall I dwell upon the images suggested by the condition of the country through which I passed I will confine myself to mentioning the transactions connected with the purpose of my journey
I reached Baltimore at night I was not so fatigued but that I could ramble through the town I intended at present merely the gratification of a strangers curiosity My visit to Mrs Watson and her brother I designed should take place on the morrow The evening of my arrival I deemed an unseasonable time
While roving about however it occurred to me that it might not be impolitic to find the way to their habitation even now My purposes of general curiosity would equally be served whichever way my steps were bent and to trace the path to their dwelling would save me the trouble of inquiries and interrogations tomorrow
When I looked forward to an interview with the wife of Watson and to the subject which would be necessarily discussed at that interview I felt a trembling and misgiving at my heart Surely thought I it will become me to exercise immeasurable circumspection and address and yet how little are these adapted to the impetuosity and candour of my nature
How am I to introduce myself What am I to tell her That I was a sort of witness to the murder of her husband That I received from the hand of his assassin the letter which I afterwards transmitted to her and from the same hands the bills contained in his girdle
How will she start and look aghast What suspicions will she harbour What inquiries shall be made of me How shall they be disarmed and eluded or answered Deep consideration will be necessary before I trust myself to such an interview The coming night shall be devoted to reflection upon this subject
From these thoughts I proceeded to inquiries for the street mentioned in the advertisement where Mrs Watson was said to reside The street and at length the habitation was found Having reached a station opposite I paused and surveyed the mansion It was a wooden edifice of two stories humble but neat You ascended to the door by several stone steps Of the two lower windows the shutters of one were closed but those of the other were open Though late in the evening there was no appearance of light or fire within
Beside the house was a painted fence through which was a gate leading to the back of the building Guided by the impulse of the moment I crossed the street to the gate and lifting the latch entered the paved alley on one side of which was a paled fence and on the other the house looking through two windows into the alley
The first window was dark like those in front but at the second a light was discernible I approached it and looking through beheld a plain but neat apartment in which parlour kitchen and nursery seemed to be united A fire burned cheerfully in the chimney over which was a teakettle On the hearth sat a smiling and playful cherub of a boy tossing something to a black girl who sat opposite and whose innocent and regular features wanted only a different hue to make them beautiful Near it in a rockingchair with a sleeping babe in her lap sat a female figure in plain but neat and becoming attire Her posture permitted half her face to be seen and saved me from any danger of being observed
This countenance was full of sweetness and benignity but the sadness that veiled its lustre was profound Her eyes were now fixed upon the fire and were moist with the tears of remembrance while she sung in low and scarcelyaudible strains an artless lullaby
This spectacle exercised a strange power over my feelings While occupied in meditating on the features of the mother I was unaware of my conspicuous situation The black girl having occasion to change her situation in order to reach the ball which was thrown at her unluckily caught a glance of my figure through the glass In a tone of half surprise and half terror she cried out Oh see dare a man
I was tempted to draw suddenly back but a second thought showed me the impropriety of departing thus abruptly and leaving behind me some alarm I felt a sort of necessity for apologizing for my intrusion into these precincts and hastened to a door that led into the same apartment I knocked A voice somewhat confused bade me enter It was not till I opened the door and entered the room that I fully saw in what embarrassments I had incautiously involved myself
I could scarcely obtain sufficient courage to speak and gave a confused assent to the question Have you business with me sir She offered me a chair and I sat down She put the child not yet awakened into the arms of the black who kissed it and rocked it in her arms with great satisfaction and resuming her seat looked at me with inquisitiveness mingled with complacency
After a moments pause I said I was directed to this house as the abode of Mr Ephraim Williams Can he be seen madam
He is not in town at present If you will leave a message with me I will punctually deliver it
The thought suddenly occurred whether any more was needful than merely to leave the bills suitably enclosed as they already were in a packet Thus all painful explanations might be avoided and I might have reason to congratulate myself on his seasonable absence Actuated by these thoughts I drew forth the packet and put it into her hand saying I will leave this in your possession and must earnestly request you to keep it safe until you can deliver it into his own hands
Scarcely had I said this before new suggestions occurred Was it right to act in this clandestine and mysterious manner Should I leave these persons in uncertainty respecting the fate of a husband and a brother What perplexities misunderstandings and suspenses might not grow out of this uncertainty and ought they not to be precluded at any hazard to my own safety or good name
These sentiments made me involuntarily stretch forth my hand to retake the packet This gesture and other significances in my manners joined to a trembling consciousness in herself filled my companion with all the tokens of confusion and fear She alternately looked at me and at the paper Her trepidation increased and she grew pale These emotions were counteracted by a strong effort
At length she said falteringly I will take good care of them and will give them to my brother
She rose and placed them in a drawer after which she resumed her seat
On this occasion all my wariness forsook me I cannot explain why my perplexity and the trouble of my thoughts were greater upon this than upon similar occasions However it be I was incapable of speaking and fixed my eyes upon the floor A sort of electrical sympathy pervaded my companion and terror and anguish were strongly manifested in the glances which she sometimes stole at me We seemed fully to understand each other without the aid of words
This imbecility could not last long I gradually recovered my composure and collected my scattered thoughts I looked at her with seriousness and steadfastly spoke—Are you the wife of Amos Watson
She started—I am indeed Why do you ask Do you know any thing of—— There her voice failed
I replied with quickness Yes I am fully acquainted with his destiny
Good God she exclaimed in a paroxysm of surprise and bending eagerly forward my husband is then alive This packet is from him Where is he When have you seen him
Tis a long time since
But where where is he now Is he well Will he return to me
Never
Merciful Heaven looking upwards and clasping her hands I thank thee at least for his life But why has he forsaken me Why will he not return
For a good reason said I with augmented solemnity he will never return to thee Long ago was he laid in the cold grave
She shrieked and at the next moment sunk in a swoon upon the floor I was alarmed The two children shrieked and ran about the room terrified and unknowing what they did I was overwhelmed with somewhat like terror yet I involuntarily raised the mother in my arms and cast about for the means of recalling her from this fit
Time to effect this had not elapsed when several persons apparently Mrs Watsons neighbours and raised by the outcries of the girls hastily entered the room They looked at me with mingled surprise and suspicion but my attitude being not that of an injurer but helper my countenance which showed the pleasure their entrance at this critical moment afforded me and my words in which I besought their assistance and explained in some degree and briefly the cause of those appearances removed their ill thoughts
Presently the unhappy woman being carried by the newcomers into a bedroom adjoining recovered her sensibility I only waited for this I had done my part More information would be useless to her and not to be given by me at least in the present audience without embarrassment and peril I suddenly determined to withdraw and this the attention of the company being otherwise engaged I did without notice I returned to my inn and shut myself up in my chamber Such was the change which undesigned unforeseen half an hour had wrought in my situation My cautious projects had perished in their conception That which I had deemed so arduous to require such circumspect approaches such wellconcerted speeches was done
I had started up before this woman as if from the pores of the ground I had vanished with the same celerity but had left her in possession of proofs sufficient that I was neither spectre nor demon I will visit her said I again I will see her brother and know the full effect of my disclosure I will tell them all that I myself know Ignorance would be no less injurious to them than to myself but first I will see the Maurices
CHAPTER XLI
Next morning I arose betimes and equipped myself without delay I had eight or ten miles to walk so far from the town being the residence of these people and I forthwith repaired to their dwelling The persons whom I desired to see were known to me only by name and by their place of abode It was a mother and her three daughters to whom I now carried the means not only of competence but riches means which they no doubt had long ago despaired of regaining and which among all possible messengers one of my age and guise would be the least suspected of being able to restore
I arrived through intricate ways at eleven oclock at the house of Mrs Maurice It was a neat dwelling in a very fanciful and rustic style in the bosom of a valley which when decorated by the verdure and blossoms of the coming season must possess many charms At present it was naked and dreary
As I approached it through a long avenue I observed two female figures walking arminarm and slowly to and fro in the path in which I now was These said I are daughters of the family Graceful welldressed fashionable girls they seem at this distance May they be deserving of the good tidings which I bring Seeing them turn towards the house I mended my pace that I might overtake them and request their introduction of me to their mother
As I more nearly approached they again turned and perceiving me they stood as if in expectation of my message I went up to them
A single glance cast at each made me suspect that they were not sisters but somewhat to my disappointment there was nothing highly prepossessing in the countenance of either They were what is every day met with though less embellished by brilliant drapery and turban in markets and streets An air somewhat haughty somewhat supercilious lessened still more their attractions These defects however were nothing to me
I inquired of her that seemed to be the elder of the two for Mrs Maurice
She is indisposed was the cold reply
That is unfortunate Is it not possible to see her
No with still more gravity
I was somewhat at a loss how to proceed A pause ensued At length the same lady resumed Whats your business You can leave your message with me
With nobody but her If she be not very indisposed——
She is very indisposed interrupted she peevishly If you cannot leave your message you may take it back again for she must not be disturbed
This was a singular reception I was disconcerted and silent I knew not what to say Perhaps I at last observed some other time——
No with increasing heat no other time She is more likely to be worse than better Come Betsy said she taking hold of her companions arm and hieing into the house shut the door after her and disappeared I stood at the bottom of the steps confounded at such strange and unexpected treatment I could not withdraw till my purpose was accomplished After a moments pause I stepped to the door and pulled the bell A negro came of a very unpropitious aspect and opening the door looked at me in silence To my question Was Mrs Maurice to be seen he made some answer in a jargon which I could not understand but his words were immediately followed by an unseen person within the house—Mrs Maurice cant be seen by anybody Come in Cato and shut the door This injunction was obeyed by Cato without ceremony
Here was a dilemma I came with ten thousand pounds in my hands to bestow freely on these people and such was the treatment I received I must adopt said I a new mode
I lifted the latch without a second warning and Cato having disappeared went into a room the door of which chanced to be open on my right hand I found within the two females whom I had accosted in the portico I now addressed myself to the younger—This intrusion when I have explained the reason of it will I hope be forgiven I come madam——
Yes interrupted the other with a countenance suffused by indignation I know very well whom you come from and what it is that prompts this insolence but your employer shall see that we have not sunk so low as he imagines Cato Bob I say
My employer madam I see you labour under some great mistake I have no employer I come from a great distance I come to bring intelligence of the utmost importance to your family I come to benefit and not to injure you
By this time Bob and Cato two sturdy blacks entered the room Turn this person said the imperious lady regardless of my explanations out of the house Dont you hear me she continued observing that they looked one upon the other and hesitated
Surely madam said I you are precipitate You are treating like an enemy one who will prove himself your mothers best friend
Will you leave the house she exclaimed quite beside herself with anger Villains why dont you do as I bid you
The blacks looked upon each other as if waiting for an example Their habitual deference for every thing white no doubt held their hands from what they regarded as a profanation At last Bob said in a whining beseeching tone Why missee massa buckra wanna go for doo dan he winna go fo wee
The lady now burst into tears of rage She held out her hand menacingly Will you leave the house
Not willingly said I in a mild tone I came too far to return with the business that brought me unperformed I am persuaded madam you mistake my character and my views I have a message to deliver your mother which deeply concerns her and your happiness if you are her daughter I merely wished to see her and leave with her a piece of important news news in which her fortune is deeply interested
These words had a wonderful effect upon the young lady Her anger was checked Good God she exclaimed are you Watson
No I am only Watsons representative and come to do all that Watson could do if he were present
She was now importunate to know my business
My business lies with Mrs Maurice Advertisements which I have seen direct me to her and to this house and to her only shall I deliver my message
Perhaps said she with a face of apology I have mistaken you Mrs Maurice is my mother She is really indisposed but I can stand in her place on this occasion
You cannot represent her in this instance If I cannot have access to her now I must go and shall return when you are willing to grant it
Nay replied she she is not perhaps so very sick but that I will go and see if she will admit you So saying she left me for three minutes and returning said her mother wished to see me
I followed upstairs at her request and entering an illfurnished chamber found seated in an armchair a lady seemingly in years pale and visibly infirm The lines of her countenance were far from laying claim to my reverence It was too much like the daughters
She looked at me at my entrance with great eagerness and said in a sharp tone Pray friend what is it you want with me Make haste tell your story and begone
My story is a short one and easily told Amos Watson was your agent in Jamaica He sold an estate belonging to you and received the money
He did said she attempting ineffectually to rise from her seat and her eyes beaming with a significance that shocked me he did the villain and purloined the money to the ruin of me and my daughters But if there be justice on earth it will overtake him I trust I shall have the pleasure one day—I hope to hear hes hanged Well but go on friend He did sell it I tell you
He sold it for ten thousand pounds I resumed and invested this sum in bills of exchange Watson is dead These bills came into my hands I was lately informed by the public papers who were the real owners and have come from Philadelphia with no other view than to restore them to you There they are continued I placing them in her lap entire and untouched
She seized the papers and looked at me and at her daughter by turns with an air of one suddenly bewildered She seemed speechless and growing suddenly more ghastly pale leaned her head back upon the chair The daughter screamed and hastened to support the languid parent who difficultly articulated Oh I am sick sick to death Put me on the bed
I was astonished and affrighted at this scene Some of the domestics of both colours entered and gazed at me with surprise Involuntarily I withdrew and returned to the room below into which I had first entered and which I now found deserted
I was for some time at a loss to guess at the cause of these appearances At length it occurred to me that joy was the source of the sickness that had seized Mrs Maurice The abrupt recovery of what had probably been deemed irretrievable would naturally produce this effect upon a mind of a certain texture
I was deliberating whether to stay or go when the daughter entered the room and after expressing some surprise at seeing me whom she supposed to have retired told me that her mother wished to see me again before my departure In this request there was no kindness All was cold supercilious and sullen I obeyed the summons without speaking
I found Mrs Maurice seated in her armchair much in her former guise Without desiring me to be seated or relaxing aught in her asperity of looks and tones—Pray friend how did you come by these papers
I assure you madam they were honestly come by answered I sedately and with half a smile but if the whole is there that was missing the mode and time in which they came to me is matter of concern only to myself Is there any deficiency
I am not sure I dont know much of these matters There may be less I dare say there is I shall know that soon I expect a friend of mine every minute who will look them over I dont doubt you can give a good account of yourself
I doubt not but I can—to those who have a right to demand it In this case curiosity must be very urgent indeed before I shall consent to gratify it
You must know this is a suspicious case Watson tobesure embezzled the money tobesure you are his accomplice
Certainly said I my conduct on this occasion proves that What I have brought to you of my own accord what I have restored to you fully and unconditionally it is plain Watson embezzled and that I was aiding in the fraud To restore what was never stolen always betrays the thief To give what might be kept without suspicion is without doubt arrant knavery To be serious madam in coming thus far for this purpose I have done enough and must now bid you farewell
Nay dont go yet I have something more to say to you My friend Im sure will be here presently There he is noticing a peal upon the bell Polly go down and see if thats Mr Somers If it is bring him up The daughter went
I walked to the window absorbed in my own reflections I was disappointed and dejected The scene before me was the unpleasing reverse of all that my fancy while coming hither had foreboded I expected to find virtuous indigence and sorrow lifted by my means to affluence and exultation I expected to witness the tears of gratitude and the caresses of affection What had I found Nothing but sordidness stupidity and illiberal suspicion
The daughter stayed much longer than the mothers patience could endure She knocked against the floor with her heel A servant came up Wheres Polly you slut It was not you hussy that I wanted It was her
She is talking in the parlour with a gentleman
Mr Somers I suppose hey fool Run with my compliments to him wench Tell him please walk up
It is not Mr Somers maam
No Who then saucebox What gentleman can have any thing to do with Polly
I dont know maam
Who said you did impertinence Run and tell her I want her this instant
The summons was not delivered or Polly did not think proper to obey it Full ten minutes of thoughtful silence on my part and of muttered vexation and impatience on that of the old lady elapsed before Pollys entrance As soon as she appeared the mother began to complain bitterly of her inattention and neglect but Polly taking no notice of her addressed herself to me and told me that a gentleman below wished to see me I hastened down and found a stranger of a plain appearance in the parlour His aspect was liberal and ingenuous and I quickly collected from his discourse that this was the brotherinlaw of Watson and the companion of his last voyage
CHAPTER XLII
My eyes sparkled with pleasure at this unexpected interview and I willingly confessed my desire to communicate all the knowledge of his brothers destiny which I possessed He told me that returning late to Baltimore on the last evening he found his sister in much agitation and distress which after a time she explained to him She likewise put the packets I had left into his hands
I leave you to imagine continued he my surprise and curiosity at this discovery I was of course impatient to see the bearer of such extraordinary tidings This morning inquiring for one of your appearance at the taverns I was at length informed of your arrival yesterday in the stage of your going out alone in the evening of your subsequent return and of your early departure this morning Accidentally I lighted on your footsteps and by suitable inquiries on the road have finally traced you hither
You told my sister her husband was dead You left with her papers that were probably in his possession at the time of his death I understand from Miss Maurice that the bills belonging to her mother have just been delivered to her I presume you have no objection to clear up this mystery
To you I am anxious to unfold every thing At this moment or at any time but the sooner the more agreeable to me I will do it
This said he looking around him is no place there is an inn not a hundred yards from this gate where I have left my horse will you go thither I readily consented and calling for a private apartment I laid before this man every incident of my life connected with Welbeck and Watson my full circumstantial and explicit story appeared to remove every doubt which he might have entertained of my integrity
In Williams I found a plain good man of a temper confiding and affectionate My narration being finished he expressed by unaffected tokens his wonder and his grief on account of Watsons destiny To my inquiries which were made with frankness and fervour respecting his own and his sisters condition he said that the situation of both was deplorable till the recovery of this property They had been saved from utter ruin from beggary and a jail only by the generosity and lenity of his creditors who did not suffer the suspicious circumstances attending Watsons disappearance to outweigh former proofs of his probity They had never relinquished the hopes of receiving some tidings of their kinsman
I related what had just passed in the house of Mrs Maurice and requested to know from him the history and character of this family
They have treated you he answered exactly as any one who knew them would have predicted The mother is narrow ignorant bigoted and avaricious The eldest daughter whom you saw resembles the old lady in many things Age indeed may render the similitude complete At present pride and illhumour are her chief characteristics
The youngest daughter has nothing in mind or person in common with her family Where they are irascible she is patient where they are imperious she is humble where they are covetous she is liberal where they are ignorant and indolent she is studious and skilful It is rare indeed to find a young lady more amiable than Miss Fanny Maurice or who has had more crosses and afflictions to sustain
The eldest daughter always extorted the supply of her wants from her parents by threats and importunities but the younger could never be prevailed upon to employ the same means and hence she suffered inconveniences which to any other girl born to an equal rank would have been to the last degree humiliating and vexatious To her they only afforded new opportunities for the display of her most shining virtues—fortitude and charity No instance of their sordidness or tyranny ever stole a murmur from her For what they had given existence and a virtuous education she said they were entitled to gratitude What they withheld was their own in the use of which they were not accountable to her She was not ashamed to owe her subsistence to her own industry and was only held by the pride of her family—in this instance their pride was equal to their avarice—from seeking out some lucrative kind of employment Since the shock which their fortune sustained by Watsons disappearance she has been permitted to pursue this plan and she now teaches music in Baltimore for a living No one however in the highest rank can be more generally respected and caressed than she is
But will not the recovery of this money make a favourable change in her condition
I can hardly tell but I am inclined to think it will not It will not change her mothers character Her pride may be awakened anew and she may oblige Miss Fanny to relinquish her new profession and that will be a change to be deplored
What good has been done then by restoring this money
If pleasure be good you must have conferred a great deal on the Maurices upon the mother and two of the daughters at least—the only pleasure indeed which their natures can receive It is less than if you had raised them from absolute indigence which has not been the case since they had wherewithal to live upon besides their Jamaica property But how continued Williams suddenly recollecting himself have you claimed the reward promised to him who should restore these bills
What reward
No less than a thousand dollars It was publicly promised under the hands of Mrs Maurice and of Hemmings her husbands executor
Really said I that circumstance escaped my attention and I wonder that it did but is it too late to repair the evil
Then you have no scruple to accept the reward
Certainly not Could you suspect me of so strange a punctilio as that
Yes but I know not why The story you have just finished taught me to expect some unreasonable refinement upon that head To be hired to be bribed to do our duty is supposed by some to be degrading
This is no such bribe to me I should have acted just as I have done had no recompense been promised In truth this has been my conduct for I never once thought of the reward but now that you remind me of it I would gladly see it bestowed To fulfil their engagements in this respect is no more than justice in the Maurices To one in my condition the money will be highly useful If these people were poor or generous and worthy or if I myself were already rich I might less repine at their withholding it but things being as they are with them and with me it would I think be gross injustice in them to withhold and in me to refuse
That injustice said Williams will on their part I fear be committed Tis pity you first applied to Mrs Maurice Nothing can be expected from her avarice unless it be wrested from her by a lawsuit
That is a force which I shall never apply
Had you gone first to Hemmings you might I think have looked for payment He is not a mean man A thousand dollars he must know is not much to give for forty thousand Perhaps indeed it may not yet be too late I am well known to him and if you please will attend you to him in the evening and state your claim
I thankfully accepted this offer and went with him accordingly I found that Hemmings had been with Mrs Maurice in the course of the day had received from her intelligence of this transaction and had entertained the expectation of a visit from me for this very purpose
While Williams explained to him the nature of my claim he scanned me with great intentness His austere and inflexible brow afforded me little room to hope for success and this hopelessness was confirmed by his silence and perplexity when Williams had made an end
Tobesure said he after some pause the contract was explicit Tobesure the conditions on Mr Mervyns side have been performed Certain it is the bills are entire and complete but Mrs Maurice will not consent to do her part and Mrs Maurice to whom the papers were presented is the person by whom according to the terms of the contract the reward must be paid
But Mrs Maurice you know sir may be legally compelled to pay said Williams
Perhaps she may but I tell you plainly that she never will do the thing without compulsion Legal process however in this case will have other inconveniences besides delay Some curiosity will naturally be excited as to the history of these papers Watson disappeared a twelvemonth ago Who can avoid asking Where have these papers been deposited all this while and how came this person in possession of them
That kind of curiosity said I is natural and laudable and gladly would I gratify it Disclosure or concealment in that case however would nowise affect my present claim Whether a bond legally executed shall be paid does not depend upon determining whether the payer is fondest of boiled mutton or roast beef Truth in the first case has no connection with truth in the second So far from eluding this curiosity so far from studying concealment I am anxious to publish the truth
You are right tobesure said Hemmings Curiosity is a natural but only an incidental consequence in this case I have no reason for desiring that it should be an unpleasant consequence to you
Well sir said Williams you think that Arthur Mervyn has no remedy in this case but the law
Mrs Maurice tobesure will never pay but on compulsion Mervyn should have known his own interest better While his left hand was stretched out to give his right should have been held forth to receive As it is he must be contented with the aid of law Any attorney will prosecute on condition of receiving half the sum when recovered
We now rose to take our leave when Hemmings desiring us to pause a moment said Tobesure in the utmost strictness of the terms of our promise the reward was to be paid by the person who received the papers but it must be owned that your claim at any rate is equitable I have money of the deceased Mr Maurice in my hands These very bills are now in my possession I will therefore pay you your due and take the consequences of an act of justice on myself I was prepared for you Sign that receipt and there is a check for the amount
CHAPTER XLIII
This unexpected and agreeable decision was accompanied by an invitation to supper at which we were treated by our host with much affability and kindness Finding me the author of Williamss good fortune as well as Mrs Maurices and being assured by the former of his entire conviction of the rectitude of my conduct he laid aside all reserve and distance with regard to me He inquired into my prospects and wishes and professed his willingness to serve me
I dealt with equal unreserve and frankness I am poor said I Money for my very expenses hither I have borrowed from a friend to whom I am in other respects much indebted and whom I expect to compensate only by gratitude and future services
In coming hither I expected only an increase of my debts to sink still deeper into poverty but happily the issue has made me rich This hour has given me competence at least
What call you a thousand dollars competence
More than competence I call it an abundance My own ingenuity while I enjoy health will enable me to live This I regard as a fund first to pay my debts and next to supply deficiencies occasioned by untoward accidents or ill health during the ensuing three or four years at least
We parted with this new acquaintance at a late hour and I accepted Williamss invitation to pass the time I should spend at Baltimore under his sisters roof There were several motives for prolonging this stay What I had heard of Miss Fanny Maurice excited strong wishes to be personally acquainted with her This young lady was affectionately attached to Mrs Watson by whose means my wishes were easily accomplished
I never was in habits of reserve even with those whom I had no reason to esteem With those who claimed my admiration and affection it was impossible to be incommunicative Before the end of my second interview both these women were mistresses of every momentous incident of my life and of the whole chain of my feelings and opinions in relation to every subject and particularly in relation to themselves Every topic disconnected with these is comparatively lifeless and inert
I found it easy to win their attention and to render them communicative in their turn As full disclosures as I had made without condition or request my inquiries and example easily obtained from Mrs Watson and Miss Maurice The former related every event of her youth and the circumstances leading to her marriage She depicted the character of her husband and the whole train of suspenses and inquietudes occasioned by his disappearance The latter did not hide from me her opinions upon any important subject and made me thoroughly acquainted with her actual situation
This intercourse was strangely fascinating My heart was buoyed up by a kind of intoxication I now found myself exalted to my genial element and began to taste the delights of existence In the intercourse of ingenuous and sympathetic minds I found a pleasure which I had not previously conceived
The time flew swiftly away and a fortnight passed almost before I was aware that a day had gone by I did not forget the friends whom I had left behind but maintained a punctual correspondence with Stevens to whom I imparted all occurrences
The recovery of my friends kinsman allowed him in a few days to return home His first object was the consolation and relief of Carlton whom with much difficulty he persuaded to take advantage of the laws in favour of insolvent debtors Carltons only debt was owing to his uncle and by rendering up every species of property except his clothes and the implements of his trade he obtained a full discharge In conjunction with his sister he once more assumed the pen and being no longer burdened with debts he was unable to discharge he resumed together with his pen his cheerfulness Their mutual industry was sufficient for their decent and moderate subsistence
The chief reason for my hasty return was my anxiety respecting Clemenza Lodi This reason was removed by the activity and benevolence of my friend He paid this unfortunate stranger a visit at Mrs Villarss Access was easily obtained and he found her sunk into the deepest melancholy The recent loss of her child the death of Welbeck of which she was soon apprized her total dependence upon those with whom she was placed who however had always treated her without barbarity or indecorum were the calamities that weighed down her spirits
My friend easily engaged her confidence and gratitude and prevailed upon her to take refuge under his own roof Mrs Wentworths scruples as well as those of Mrs Fielding were removed by his arguments and entreaties and they consented to take upon themselves and divide between them the care of her subsistence and happiness They condescended to express much curiosity respecting me and some interest in my welfare and promised to receive me on my return on the footing of a friend
With some reluctance I at length bade my new friends farewell and returned to Philadelphia Nothing remained before I should enter on my projected scheme of study and employment under the guidance of Stevens but to examine the situation of Eliza Hadwin with my own eyes and if possible to extricate my father from his unfortunate situation
My fathers state had given me the deepest concern I figured to myself his condition besotted by brutal appetites reduced to beggary shut up in a noisome prison and condemned to that society which must foster all his depraved propensities I revolved various schemes for his relief A few hundreds would take him from prison but how should he be afterwards disposed of How should he be cured of his indolent habits How should he be screened from the contagion of vicious society By what means consistently with my own wants and the claims of others should I secure to him an acceptable subsistence
Exhortation and example were vain Nothing but restraint would keep him at a distance from the haunts of brawling and debauchery The want of money would be no obstacle to prodigality and waste Credit would be resorted to as long as it would answer his demand When that failed he would once more be thrown into a prison the same means to extricate him would have to be repeated and money be thus put into the pockets of the most worthless of mankind the agents of drunkenness and blasphemy without any permanent advantage to my father the principal object of my charity
Though unable to fix on any plausible mode of proceeding I determined at least to discover his present condition Perhaps something might suggest itself upon the spot suited to my purpose Without delay I proceeded to the village of Newtown and alighting at the door of the prison inquired for my father
Sawny Mervyn you want I suppose said the keeper Poor fellow He came into limbo in a crazy condition and has been a burden on my hands ever since After lingering along for some time he was at last kind enough to give us the slip It is just a week since he drank his last pint—and died
I was greatly shocked at this intelligence It was some time before my reason came to my aid and showed me that this was an event on the whole and on a disinterested and dispassionate view not unfortunate The keeper knew not my relation to the deceased and readily recounted the behaviour of the prisoner and the circumstances of his last hours
I shall not repeat the narrative It is useless to keep alive the sad remembrance He was now beyond the reach of my charity or pity and since reflection could answer no beneficial end to him it was my duty to divert my thoughts into different channels and live henceforth for my own happiness and that of those who were within the sphere of my influence
I was now alone in the world so far as the total want of kindred creates solitude Not one of my blood nor even of my name was to be found in this quarter of the world Of my mothers kindred I knew nothing So far as friendship or service might be claimed from them to me they had no existence I was destitute of all those benefits which flow from kindred in relation to protection advice or property My inheritance was nothing Not a single relic or trinket in my possession constituted a memorial of my family The scenes of my childish and juvenile days were dreary and desolate The fields which I was wont to traverse the room in which I was born retained no traces of the past They were the property and residence of strangers who knew nothing of the former tenants and who as I was now told had hastened to newmodel and transform every thing within and without the habitation
These images filled me with melancholy which however disappeared in proportion as I approached the abode of my beloved girl Absence had endeared the image of my Bess—I loved to call her so—to my soul I could not think of her without a melting softness at my heart and tears in which pain and pleasure were unaccountably mingled As I approached Curlings house I strained my sight in hopes of distinguishing her form through the evening dusk
I had told her of my purpose by letter She expected my approach at this hour and was stationed with a heart throbbing with impatience at the roadside near the gate As soon as I alighted she rushed into my arms
I found my sweet friend less blithesome and contented than I wished Her situation in spite of the parental and sisterly regards which she received from the Curlings was mournful and dreary to her imagination Rural business was irksome and insufficient to fill up her time Her life was tiresome and uniform and heavy
I ventured to blame her discontent and pointed out the advantages of her situation Whence said I can these dissatisfactions and repinings arise
I cannot tell said she I dont know how it is with me I am always sorrowful and thoughtful Perhaps I think too much of my poor father and of Susan and yet that cant be it neither for I think of them but seldom not half as much as I ought perhaps I think of nobody almost but you Instead of minding my business or chatting and laughing with Peggy Curling I love to get by myself—to read over and over your letters or to think how you are employed just then and how happy I should be if I were in Fanny Maurices place
But it is all over now this visit rewards me for every thing I wonder how I could ever be sullen or mopeful I will behave better indeed I will and be always as now a most happy girl
The greater part of three days was spent in the society of my friend in listening to her relation of all that had happened during my absence and in communicating in my turn every incident which had befallen myself After this I once more returned to the city
CHAPTER XLIV
I now set about carrying my plan of life into effect I began with ardent zeal and unwearied diligence the career of medical study I bespoke the counsels and instructions of my friend attended him on his professional visits and acted in all practicable cases as his substitute I found this application of time more pleasurable than I had imagined My mind gladly expanded itself as it were for the reception of new ideas My curiosity grew more eager in proportion as it was supplied with food and every day added strength to the assurance that I was no insignificant and worthless being that I was destined to be something in this scene of existence and might some time lay claim to the gratitude and homage of my fellow men
I was far from being however monopolized by these pursuits I was formed on purpose for the gratification of social intercourse To love and to be loved to exchange hearts and mingle sentiments with all the virtuous and amiable whom my good fortune had placed within the circuit of my knowledge I always esteemed my highest enjoyment and my chief duty
Carlton and his sister Mrs Wentworth and Achsa Fielding were my most valuable associates beyond my own family With all these my correspondence was frequent and unreserved but chiefly with the latter This lady had dignity and independence a generous and enlightened spirit beyond what her education had taught me to expect She was circumspect and cautious in her deportment and was not prompt to make advances or accept them She withheld her esteem and confidence until she had full proof of their being deserved
I am not sure that her treatment of me was fully conformable to her rules My manners indeed as she once told me she had never met with in another Ordinary rules were so totally overlooked in my behaviour that it seemed impossible for any one who knew me to adhere to them No option was left but to admit my claims to friendship and confidence instantly or to reject them altogether
I was not conscious of this singularity The internal and undiscovered character of another weighed nothing with me in the question whether they should be treated with frankness or reserve I felt no scruple on any occasion to disclose every feeling and every event Any one who could listen found me willing to talk Every talker found me willing to listen Every one had my sympathy and kindness without claiming it but I claimed the kindness and sympathy of every one
Achsa Fieldings countenance bespoke I thought a mind worthy to be known and to be loved The first moment I engaged her attention I told her so I related the little story of my family spread out before her all my reasonings and determinations my notions of right and wrong my fears and wishes All this was done with sincerity and fervour with gestures actions and looks in which I felt as if my whole soul was visible Her superior age sedateness and prudence gave my deportment a filial freedom and affection and I was fond of calling her mamma
I particularly dwelt upon the history of my dear countrygirl painted her form and countenance recounted our dialogues and related all my schemes for making her wise and good and happy On these occasions my friend would listen to me with the mutest attention I showed her the letters I received and offered her for her perusal those which I wrote in answer before they were sealed and sent
On these occasions she would look by turns on my face and away from me A varying hue would play upon her cheek and her eyes were fuller than was common of meaning
Suchandsuch I once said are my notions now what do you think
Think emphatically and turning somewhat aside she answered that you are the most—strange of human creatures
But tell me I resumed following and searching her averted eyes am I right would you do thus Can you help me to improve my girl I wish you knew the bewitching little creature How would that heart overflow with affection and with gratitude towards you She should be your daughter No—you are too nearly of an age for that A sister her elder sister you should be That when there is no other relation includes them all Fond sisters you would be and I the fond brother of you both
My eyes glistened as I spoke In truth I am in that respect a mere woman My friend was more powerfully moved After a momentary struggle she burst into tears
Good heaven said I what ails you Are you not well
Her looks betrayed an unaccountable confusion from which she quickly recovered—It was folly to be thus affected Something ailed me I believe but it is past But come you want some lines of finishing the description of the Boa in La Cepide
True And I have twenty minutes to spare Poor Franks is very ill indeed but he cannot be seen till nine Well read till then
Thus on the wings of pleasure and improvement passed my time not without some hues occasionally of a darker tint My heart was now and then detected in sighing This occurred when my thoughts glanced at the poor Eliza and measured as it were the interval between us We are too—too far apart thought I
The best solace on these occasions was the company of Mrs Fielding her music her discourse or some book which she set me to rehearsing to her One evening when preparing to pay her a visit I received the following letter from my Bess—
To A Mervyn
Curlings May 6 1794
Where does this letter you promised me stay all this while Indeed Arthur you torment me more than I deserve and more than I could ever find it in my heart to do you You treat me cruelly I must say so though I offend you I must write though you do not deserve that I should and though I fear I am in a humour not very fit for writing I had better go to my chamber and weep weep at your—unkindness I was going to say but perhaps it is only forgetfulness and yet what can be more unkind than forgetfulness I am sure I have never forgotten you Sleep itself which wraps all other images in forgetfulness only brings you nearer and makes me see you more distinctly
But where can this letter stay—Oh that—hush foolish girl If a word of that kind escape thy lips Arthur will be angry with thee and then indeed thou mightest weep in earnest Then thou wouldst have some cause for thy tears More than once already has he almost broken thy heart with his reproaches Sore and weak as it now is any new reproaches would assuredly break it quite
I will be content I will be as good a housewife and dairywoman stir about as briskly and sing as merrily as Peggy Curling Why not I am as young as innocent and enjoy as good health Alas she has reason to be merry She has father mother brothers but I have none And he that was all these and more than all these to me has—forgotten me
But perhaps it is some accident that hinders Perhaps Oliver left the market earlier than he used to do or you mistook the house or perhaps some poor creature was sick was taken suddenly ill and you were busy in chafing his claycold limbs it fell to you to wipe the clammy drops from his brow Such things often happen dont they Arthur to people of your trade and some such thing has happened now and that was the reason you did not write
And if so shall I repine at your silence Oh no At such a time the poor Bess might easily be and ought to be forgotten She would not deserve your love if she could repine at a silence brought about this way
And oh may it be so May there be nothing worse than this If the sick man—see Arthur how my hand trembles Can you read this scrawl What is always bad my fears make worse than ever
I must not think that And yet if it be so if my friend himself be sick what will become of me Of me that ought to cherish you and comfort you that ought to be your nurse Endure for you your sickness when she cannot remove it
Oh that——I will speak out—Oh that this strange scruple had never possessed you Why should I not be with you Who can love you and serve you as well as I In sickness and health I will console and assist you Why will you deprive yourself of such a comforter and such an aid as I would be to you
Dear Arthur think better of it Let me leave this dreary spot where indeed as long as I am thus alone I can enjoy no comfort Let me come to you I will put up with any thing for the sake of seeing you though it be but once a day Any garret or cellar in the dirtiest lane or darkest alley will be good enough for me I will think it a palace so that I can but see you now and then
Do not refuse—do not argue with me so fond you always are of arguing My heart is set upon your compliance And yet dearly as I prize your company I would not ask it if I thought there was any thing improper You say there is and you talk about it in a way that I do not understand For my sake you tell me you refuse but let me entreat you to comply for my sake
Your pen cannot teach me like your tongue You write me long letters and tell me a great deal in them but my soul droops when I call to mind your voice and your looks and think how long a time must pass before I see you and hear you again I have no spirit to think upon the words and paper before me My eye and my thought wander far away
I bethink me how many questions I might ask you how many doubts you might clear up if you were but within hearing If you were but close to me but I cannot ask them here I am too poor a creature at the pen and somehow or another it always happens I can only write about myself or about you By the time I have said all this I have tired my fingers and when I set about telling you how this poem and that story have affected me I am at a loss for words I am bewildered and bemazed as it were
It is not so when we talk to one another With your arm about me and your sweet face close to mine I can prattle forever Then my heart overflows at my lips After hours thus spent it seems as if there were a thousand things still to be said Then I can tell you what the book has told me I can repeat scores of verses by heart though I heard them only once read but it is because you have read them to me
Then there is nobody here to answer my questions They never look into books They hate books They think it waste of time to read Even Peggy who you say has naturally a strong mind wonders what I can find to amuse myself in a book In her playful mood she is always teasing me to lay it aside
I do not mind her for I like to read but if I did not like it before I could not help doing so ever since you told me that nobody could gain your love who was not fond of books And yet though I like it on that account more than I did I dont read somehow so earnestly and understand so well as I used to do when my mind was all at ease always frolicsome and ever upon tiptoe as I may say
How strangely have you not observed it I am altered of late—I that was ever light of heart the very soul of gayety brimfull of glee am now demure as our old tabby—and not half as wise Tabby had wit enough to keep her paws out of the coals whereas poor I have—but no matter what It will never come to pass I see that So many reasons for every thing Such looking forward Arthur are not men sometimes too wise to be happy
I am now so grave Not one smile can Peggy sometimes get from me though she tries for it the whole day But I know how it comes Strange indeed if losing father and sister and thrown upon the wide world penniless and friendless too now that you forget me I should continue to smile No I never shall smile again At least while I stay here I never shall I believe
If a certain somebody suffer me to live with him—near him I mean—perhaps the sight of him as he enters the door perhaps the sound of his voice asking Where is my Bess might produce a smile Such a one as the very thought produces now—yet not I hope so transient and so quickly followed by a tear Women are born they say to trouble and tears are given them for their relief Tis all very true
Let it be as I wish will you If Oliver bring not back good tidings if he bring not a letter from thee or thy letter still refuses my request—I dont know what may happen Consent if you love your poor girl
EH
CHAPTER XLV
The reading of this letter though it made me mournful did not hinder me from paying the visit I intended My friend noticed my discomposure
What Arthur thou art quite the penseroso tonight Come let me cheer thee with a song Thou shalt have thy favourite ditty She stepped to the instrument and with more than airy lightness touched and sung—
Now knit hands and beat the ground
In a light fantastic round
Till the telltale sun descry
Our conceald solemnity
Her music though blithsome and aerial was not sufficient for the end My cheerfulness would not return even at her bidding She again noticed my sedateness and inquired into the cause
This girl of mine said I has infected me with her own sadness There is a letter I have just received She took it and began to read
Meanwhile I placed myself before her and fixed my eyes steadfastly upon her features There is no book in which I read with more pleasure than the face of woman That is generally more full of meaning and of better meaning too than the hard and inflexible lineaments of man and this womans face has no parallel
She read it with visible emotion Having gone through it she did not lift her eye from the paper but continued silent as if buried in thought After some time for I would not interrupt the pause she addressed me thus—
This girl seems to be very anxious to be with you
As much as I am that she should be so My friends countenance betrayed some perplexity As soon as I perceived it I said Why are you thus grave Some little confusion appeared as if she would not have her gravity discovered There again said I new tokens in your face my good mamma of something which you will not mention Yet sooth to say this is not your first perplexity I have noticed it before and wondered It happens only when my Bess is introduced Something in relation to her it must be but what I cannot imagine Why does her name particularly make you thoughtful disturbed dejected There now—but I must know the reason You dont agree with me in my notions of this girl I fear and you will not disclose your thoughts
By this time she had gained her usual composure and without noticing my comments on her looks said Since you are both of one mind why does she not leave the country
That cannot be I believe Mrs Stevens says it would be disreputable I am no proficient in etiquette and must therefore in affairs of this kind be guided by those who are But would to heaven I were truly her father or brother Then all difficulties would be done away
Can you seriously wish that
Why no I believe it would be more rational to wish that the world would suffer me to act the fatherly or brotherly part without the relationship
And is that the only part you wish to act towards this girl
Certainly the only part
You surprise me Have you not confessed your love for her
I do love her There is nothing upon earth more dear to me than my Bess
But love is of different kinds She was loved by her father——
Less than by me He was a good man but not of lively feelings Besides he had another daughter and they shared his love between them but she has no sister to share my love Calamity too has endeared her to me I am all her consolation dependence and hope and nothing surely can induce me to abandon her
Her reliance upon you for happiness replied my friend with a sigh is plain enough
It is but why that sigh And yet I understand it It remonstrates with me on my incapacity for her support I know it well but it is wrong to be cast down I have youth health and spirits and ought not to despair of living for my own benefit and hers but you sigh again and it is impossible to keep my courage when you sigh Do tell me what you mean by it
You partly guessed the cause She trusts to you for happiness but I somewhat suspect she trusts in vain
In vain I beseech you tell me why you think so
You say you love her why then not make her your wife
My wife Surely her extreme youth and my destitute condition will account for that
She is fifteen the age of delicate fervour of inartificial love and suitable enough for marriage As to your condition you may live more easily together than apart She has no false taste or perverse desires to gratify She has been trained in simple modes and habits Besides that objection can be removed another way But are these all your objections
Her youth I object to merely in connection with her mind She is too little improved to be my wife She wants that solidity of mind that maturity of intelligence which ten years more may possibly give her but which she cannot have at this age
You are a very prudential youth then you are willing to wait ten years for a wife
Does that follow Because my Bess will not be qualified for wedlock in less time does it follow that I must wait for her
I spoke on the supposition that you loved her
And that is true but love is satisfied with studying her happiness as her father or brother Some years hence perhaps in half a year for this passion called wedded or marriagewishing love is of sudden growth my mind may change and nothing may content me but to have Bess for my wife Yet I do not expect it
Then you are determined against marriage with this girl
Of course until that love comes which I feel not now but which no doubt will come when Bess has had the benefit of five or eight years more unless previously excited by another
All this is strange Arthur I have heretofore supposed that you actually loved I mean with the marriageseeking passion your Bess
I believe I once did but it happened at a time when marriage was improper in the life of her father and sister and when I had never known in what female excellence consisted Since that time my happier lot has cast me among women so far above Eliza Hadwin—so far above and so widely different from any thing which time is likely to make her—that I own nothing appears more unlikely than that I shall ever love her
Are you not a little capricious in that respect my good friend You have praised your Bess as rich in natural endowments as having an artless purity and rectitude of mind which somewhat supersedes the use of formal education as being full of sweetness and tenderness and in her person a very angel of loveliness
All that is true I never saw features and shape so delicately beautiful I never knew so young a mind so quicksighted and so firm but nevertheless she is not the creature whom I would call my wife My bosomslave counsellor friend the mother the pattern the tutoress of my children must be a different creature
But what are the attributes of this desirable which Bess wants
Every thing she wants Age capacity acquirements person features hair complexion all all are different from this girls
And pray of what kind may they be
I cannot portray them in words—but yes I can—The creature whom I shall worship—it sounds oddly but I verily believe the sentiment which I shall feel for my wife will be more akin to worship than any thing else I shall never love but such a creature as I now image to myself and such a creature will deserve or almost deserve worship But this creature I was going to say must be the exact counterpart my good mamma—of yourself
This was said very earnestly and with eyes and manner that fully expressed my earnestness perhaps my expressions were unwittingly strong and emphatic for she started and blushed but the cause of her discomposure whatever it was was quickly removed and she said—
Poor Bess This will be sad news to thee
Heaven forbid said I of what moment can my opinions be to her
Strange questioner that thou art Thou knowest that her gentle heart is touched with love See how it shows itself in the tender and inimitable strain of this epistle Does not this sweet ingenuousness bewitch you
It does so and I love beyond expression the sweet girl but my love is in some inconceivable way different from the passion which that other creature will produce She is no stranger to my thoughts I will impart every thought over and over to her I question not but I shall make her happy without forfeiting my own
Would marriage with her be a forfeiture of your happiness
Not absolutely or forever I believe I love her company Her absence for a long time is irksome I cannot express the delight with which I see and hear her To mark her features beaming with vivacity playful in her pleasures to hold her in my arms and listen to her prattle always musically voluble always sweetly tender or artlessly intelligent—and this you will say is the dearest privilege of marriage and so it is and dearly should I prize it and yet I fear my heart would droop as often as that other image should occur to my fancy For then you know it would occur as something never to be possessed by me
Now this image might indeed seldom occur The intervals at least would be serene It would be my interest to prolong these intervals as much as possible and my endeavours to this end would no doubt have some effect Besides the bitterness of this reflection would be lessened by contemplating at the same time the happiness of my beloved girl
I should likewise have to remember that to continue unmarried would not necessarily secure me the possession of the other good——
But these reflections my friend broke she in upon me are of as much force to induce you to marry as to reconcile you to a marriage already contracted
Perhaps they are Assuredly I have not a hope that the fancied excellence will ever be mine Such happiness is not the lot of humanity and is least of all within my reach
Your diffidence replied my friend in a timorous accent has not many examples but your character without doubt is all your own possessing all and disclaiming all—is in few words your picture
I scarcely understand you Do you think I ever shall be happy to that degree which I have imagined Think you I shall ever meet with an exact copy of yourself
Unfortunate you will be if you do not meet with many better Your Bess in personals is beyond measure my superior and in mind allowing for difference in years quite as much so
But that returned I with quickness and fervour is not the object The very counterpart of you I want neither worse nor better nor different in any thing Just such form such features such hues Just that melting voice and above all the same habits of thinking and conversing In thought word and deed gesture look and form that rare and precious creature whom I shall love must be your resemblance Your——
Have done with these comparisons interrupted she in some hurry and let us return to the countrygirl thy Bess
You once my friend wished me to treat this girl of yours as my sister Do you know what the duties of a sister are
They imply no more kindness or affection than you already feel towards my Bess Are you not her sister
I ought to have been so I ought to have been proud of the relation you ascribe to me but I have not performed any of its duties I blush to think upon the coldness and perverseness of my heart With such means as I possess of giving happiness to others I have been thoughtless and inactive to a strange degree perhaps however it is not yet too late Are you still willing to invest me with all the rights of an elder sister over this girl And will she consent think you
Certainly she will she has
Then the first act of sistership will be to take her from the country from persons on whose kindness she has no natural claim whose manners and characters are unlike her own and with whom no improvement can be expected and bring her back to her sisters house and bosom to provide for her subsistence and education and watch over her happiness
I will not be a nominal sister I will not be a sister by halves All the rights of that relation I will have or none As for you you have claims upon her on which I must be permitted to judge as becomes the elder sister who by the loss of all other relations must occupy the place possess the rights and fulfil the duties of father mother and brother
She has now arrived at an age when longer to remain in a cold and churlish soil will stunt her growth and wither her blossoms We must hasten to transplant her to a genial element and a garden well enclosed Having so long neglected this charming plant it becomes me henceforth to take her wholly to myself
And now for it is no longer in her or your power to take back the gift since she is fully mine I will charge you with the office of conducting her hither I grant it you as a favour Will you go
Go I will fly I exclaimed in an ecstasy of joy on pinions swifter than the wind Not the lingering of an instant will I bear Look one two three—thirty minutes after nine I will reach Curlings gate by the morns dawn I will put my girl into a chaise and by noon she shall throw herself into the arms of her sister But first shall I not in some way manifest my gratitude
My senses were bewildered and I knew not what I did I intended to kneel as to my mother or my deity but instead of that I clasped her in my arms and kissed her lips fervently I stayed not to discover the effects of this insanity but left the room and the house and calling for a moment at Stevenss left word with the servant my friend being gone abroad that I should not return till the morrow
Never was a lighter heart a gayety more overflowing and more buoyant than mine All cold from a boisterous night at a chilly season all weariness from a rugged and miry road were charmed away I might have ridden but I could not brook delay even the delay of inquiring for and equipping a horse I might thus have saved myself fatigue and have lost no time but my mind was in too great a tumult for deliberation and forecast I saw nothing but the image of my girl whom my tidings would render happy
The way was longer than my fond imagination had foreseen I did not reach Curlings till an hour after sunrise The distance was full thirtyfive miles As I hastened up the green lane leading to the house I spied my Bess passing through a covered way between the dwelling and kitchen I caught her eye She stopped and held up her hands and then ran into my arms
What means my girl Why this catching of the breath Why this sobbing Look at me my love It is Arthur—he who has treated you with forgetfulness neglect and cruelty
Oh do not she replied hiding her face with her hand One single reproach added to my own will kill me That foolish wicked letter—I could tear my fingers for writing it
But said I I will kiss them and put them to my lips They have told me the wishes of my girl They have enabled me to gratify her wishes I have come to carry thee this very moment to town
Lord bless me Arthur said she lost in a sweet confusion and her cheeks always glowing glowing still more deeply indeed I did not mean——I meant only——I will stay here——I would rather stay——
It grieves me to hear that said I with earnestness I thought I was studying our mutual happiness
It grieves you Dont say so I would not grieve you for the world but indeed indeed it is too soon Such a girl as I am not yet fit to—live in your city Again she hid her glowing face in my bosom
Sweet consciousness Heavenly innocence thought I may Achsas conjectures prove false—You have mistaken my design for I do not intend to carry you to town with such a view as you have hinted but merely to place you with a beloved friend with Achsa Fielding of whom already you know so much where we shall enjoy each others company without restraint or intermission
I then proceeded to disclose to her the plan suggested by my friend and to explain all the consequences that would flow from it I need not say that she assented to the scheme She was all rapture and gratitude Preparations for departure were easily and speedily made I hired a chaise of a neighbouring farmer and according to my promise by noon the same day delivered the timid and bashful girl into the arms of her new sister
She was received with the utmost tenderness not only by Mrs Fielding but by all my friends Her affectionate heart was encouraged to pour forth all its feeling as into the bosom of a mother She was reinspired with confidence Her want of experience was supplied by the gentlest admonitions and instructions In every plan for her improvement suggested by her new mamma for she never called her by any other name she engaged with docility and eagerness and her behaviour and her progress exceeded the most sanguine hopes that I had formed as to the softness of her temper and the acuteness of her genius
Those graces which a polished education and intercourse with the better classes of society are adapted to give my girl possessed in some degree by a native and intuitive refinement and sagacity of mind All that was to be obtained from actual observation and instruction was obtained without difficulty and in a short time nothing but the affectionate simplicity and unperverted feelings of the countrygirl bespoke the original condition
What art so busy about Arthur Always at thy pen of late Come I must know the fruit of all this toil and all this meditation I am determined to scrape acquaintance with Haller and Linnæus I will begin this very day All ones friends you know should be ours Love has made many a patient and let me see if it cannot in my case make a physician But first what is all this writing about
Mrs Wentworth has put me upon a strange task—not disagreeable however but such as I should perhaps have declined had not the absence of my Bess and her mamma made the time hang somewhat heavy I have oftener than once and far more circumstantially than now told her my adventures but she is not satisfied She wants a written narrative for some purpose which she tells me she will disclose to me hereafter
Luckily my friend Stevens has saved me more than half the trouble He has done me the favour to compile much of my history with his own hand I cannot imagine what could prompt him to so wearisome an undertaking but he says that adventures and a destiny so singular as mine ought not to be abandoned to forgetfulness like any vulgar and everyday existence Besides when he wrote it he suspected that it might be necessary to the safety of my reputation and my life from the consequences of my connection with Welbeck Time has annihilated that danger All enmities and all suspicions are buried with that illfated wretch Wortley has been won by my behaviour and confides in my integrity now as much as he formerly suspected it I am glad however that the task was performed It has saved me a world of writing I had only to take up the broken thread and bring it down to the period of my present happiness and this was done just as you tripped along the entry this morning
To bed my friend it is late and this delicate frame is not half so able to encounter fatigue as a youth spent in the hayfield and the dairy might have been expected to be
I will but let me take these sheets along with me I will read them that I am determined before I sleep and watch if you have told the whole truth
Do so if you please but remember one thing Mrs Wentworth requested me to write not as if it were designed for her perusal but for those who have no previous knowledge of her or of me Twas an odd request I cannot imagine what she means by it but she never acts without good reason and I have done so And now withdraw my dear and farewell
CHAPTER XLVI
Move on my quill wait not for my guidance Reanimated with thy masters spirit all airy light A heyday rapture A mounting impulse sways him lifts him from the earth
I must cost what it will rein in this upwardpulling forwardgoing—what shall I call it But there are times and now is one of them when words are poor
It will not do—down this hill up that steep through this thicket over that hedge—I have laboured to fatigue myself to reconcile me to repose to lolling on a sofa to poring over a book to any thing that might win for my heart a respite from these throbs to deceive me into a few tolerable moments of forgetfulness
Let me see they tell me this is Monday night Only three days yet to come If thus restless today if my heart thus bounds till its mansion scarcely can hold it what must be my state tomorrow What next day What as the hour hastens on as the sun descends as my hand touches hers in sign of wedded unity of love without interval of concord without end
I must quell these tumults They will disable me else They will wear out all my strength They will drain away life itself But who could have thought So soon Not three months since I first set eyes upon her Not three weeks since our plighted love and only three days to terminate suspense and give me all
I must compel myself to quiet to sleep I must find some refuge from anticipations so excruciating All extremes are agonies A joy like this is too big for this narrow tenement I must thrust it forth I must bar and bolt it out for a time or these frail walls will burst asunder The pen is a pacifier It checks the minds career it circumscribes her wanderings It traces out and compels us to adhere to one path It ever was my friend Often it has blunted my vexations hushed my stormy passions turned my peevishness to soothing my fierce revenge to heartdissolving pity
Perhaps it will befriend me now It may temper my impetuous wishes lull my intoxication and render my happiness supportable and indeed it has produced partly this effect already My blood within the few minutes thus employed flows with less destructive rapidity My thoughts range themselves in less disorder And now that the conquest is effected what shall I say I must continue at the pen or shall immediately relapse
What shall I say Let me look back upon the steps that led me hither Let me recount the preliminaries I cannot do better
And first as to Achsa Fielding—to describe this woman
To recount in brief so much of her history as has come to my knowledge will best account for that zeal almost to idolatry with which she has ever since I thoroughly knew her been regarded by me
Never saw I one to whom the term lovely more truly belonged And yet in stature she is too low in complexion dark and almost sallow and her eyes though black and of piercing lustre have a cast which I cannot well explain It lessens without destroying their lustre and their force to charm but all personal defects are outweighed by her heart and her intellect There is the secret of her power to entrance the soul of the listener and beholder It is not only when she sings that her utterance is musical It is not only when the occasion is urgent and the topic momentous that her eloquence is rich and flowing They are always so
I had vowed to love her and serve her and been her frequent visitant long before I was acquainted with her past life I had casually picked up some intelligence from others or from her own remarks I knew very soon that she was English by birth and had been only a year and a half in America that she had scarcely passed her twentyfifth year and was still embellished with all the graces of youth that she had been a wife but was uninformed whether the knot had been untied by death or divorce that she possessed considerable and even splendid fortune but the exact amount and all besides these particulars were unknown to me till some time after our acquaintance was begun
One evening she had been talking very earnestly on the influence annexed in Great Britain to birth and had given me some examples of this influence Meanwhile my eyes were fixed steadfastly on hers The peculiarity in their expression never before affected me so strongly A vague resemblance to something seen elsewhere on the same day occurred and occasioned me to exclaim suddenly in a pause of her discourse—
As I live my good mamma those eyes of yours have told me a secret I almost think they spoke to me and I am not less amazed at the strangeness than at the distinctness of their story
And prythee what have they said
Perhaps I was mistaken I might have been deceived by a fancied voice or have confounded one word with another near akin to it but let me die if I did not think they said that you were—a Jew
At this sound her features were instantly veiled with the deepest sorrow and confusion She put her hand to her eyes the tears started and she sobbed My surprise at this effect of my words was equal to my contrition I besought her to pardon me for having thus unknowingly alarmed and grieved her
After she had regained some composure she said You have not offended Arthur Your surmise was just and natural and could not always have escaped you Connected with that word are many sources of anguish which time has not and never will dry up and the less I think of past events the less will my peace be disturbed I was desirous that you should know nothing of me but what you see nothing but the present and the future merely that no allusions might occur in our conversation which will call up sorrows and regrets that will avail nothing
I now perceive the folly of endeavouring to keep you in ignorance and shall therefore once for all inform you of what has befallen me that your inquiries and suggestions may be made and fully satisfied at once and your curiosity have no motive for calling back my thoughts to what I ardently desire to bury in oblivion
My father was indeed a Jew and one of the most opulent of his nation in London—a Portuguese by birth but came to London when a boy He had few of the moral or external qualities of Jews for I suppose there is some justice in the obloquy that follows them so closely He was frugal without meanness and cautious in his dealings without extortion I need not fear to say this for it was the general voice
Me an only child and of course the darling of my parents they trained up in the most liberal manner My education was purely English I learned the same things and of the same masters with my neighbours Except frequenting their church and repeating their creed and partaking of the same food I saw no difference between them and me Hence I grew more indifferent perhaps than was proper to the distinctions of religion They were never enforced upon me No pains were taken to fill me with scruples and antipathies They never stood as I may say upon the threshold They were often thought upon but were vague and easily eluded or forgotten
Hence it was that my heart too readily admitted impressions that more zeal and more parental caution would have saved me from They could scarcely be avoided as my society was wholly English and my youth my education and my fathers wealth made me an object of much attention And the same causes that lulled to sleep my own watchfulness had the same effect upon that of others To regret or to praise this remissness is now too late Certain it is that my destiny and not a happy destiny was fixed by it
The fruit of this remissness was a passion for one who fully returned it Almost as young as I who was only sixteen he knew as little as myself what obstacles the difference of our births was likely to raise between us His father Sir Ralph Fielding a man nobly born high in office splendidly allied could not be expected to consent to the marriage of his eldest son in such green youth to the daughter of an alien a Portuguese a Jew but these impediments were not seen by my ignorance and were overlooked by the youths passion
But strange to tell what common prudence would have so confidently predicted did not happen Sir Ralph had a numerous family likely to be still more so had but slender patrimony the income of his offices nearly made up his all The young man was headstrong impetuous and would probably disregard the inclinations of his family Yet the father would not consent but on one condition—that of my admission to the English Church
No very strenuous opposition to these terms could be expected from me At so thoughtless an age with an education so unfavourable to religious impressions swayed likewise by the strongest of human passions made somewhat impatient by the company I kept of the disrepute and scorn to which the Jewish nation are everywhere condemned I could not be expected to be very averse to the scheme
My fears as to what my fathers decision would be were soon at an end He loved his child too well to thwart her wishes in so essential a point Finding in me no scruples no unwillingness he thought it absurd to be scrupulous for me My own heart having abjured my religion it was absurd to make any difficulty about a formal renunciation These were his avowed reasons for concurrence but time showed that he had probably other reasons founded indeed in his regard for my happiness but such as if they had been known would probably have strengthened into invincible the reluctance of my lovers family
No marriage was ever attended with happier presages The numerous relations of my husband admitted me with the utmost cordiality among them My fathers tenderness was unabated by this change and those humiliations to which I had before been exposed were now no more and every tie was strengthened at the end of a year by the feelings of a mother I had need indeed to know a season of happiness that I might be fitted to endure the sad reverses that succeeded One after the other my disasters came each one more heavy than the last and in such swift succession that they hardly left me time to breathe
I had scarcely left my chamber I had scarcely recovered my usual health and was able to press with true fervour the new and precious gift to my bosom when melancholy tidings came I was in the country at the seat of my fatherinlaw when the messenger arrived
A shocking tale it was and told abruptly with every unpitying aggravation I hinted to you once my fathers death The kind of death—oh my friend It was horrible He was then a placid venerable old man though many symptoms of disquiet had long before been discovered by my mothers watchful tenderness Yet none could suspect him capable of such a deed for none so carefully had he conducted his affairs suspected the havoc that mischance had made of his property
I that had so much reason to love my father—I will leave you to imagine how I was affected by a catastrophe so dreadful so unlookedfor Much less could I suspect the cause of his despair yet he had foreseen his ruin before my marriage had resolved to defer it for his daughters and his wifes sake as long as possible but had still determined not to survive the day that should reduce him to indigence The desperate act was thus preconcerted—thus deliberate
The true state of his affairs was laid open by his death The failure of great mercantile houses at Frankfort and Liege was the cause of his disasters
Thus were my prospects shut in That wealth which no doubt furnished the chief inducement with my husbands family to concur in his choice was now suddenly exchanged for poverty
Bred up as I had been in pomp and luxury conscious that my wealth was my chief security from the contempt of the proud and bigoted and my chief title to the station to which I had been raised and which I the more delighted in because it enabled me to confer so great obligations on my husband—what reverse could be harder than this and how much bitterness was added by it to the grief occasioned by the violent death of my father
Yet loss of fortune though it mortified my pride did not prove my worst calamity Perhaps it was scarcely to be ranked with evils since it furnished a touchstone by which my husbands affections were to be tried especially as the issue of the trial was auspicious for my misfortune seemed only to heighten the interest which my character had made for me in the hearts of all that knew me The paternal regards of Sir Ralph had always been tender but that tenderness seemed now to be redoubled
New events made this consolation still more necessary My unhappy mother—She was nearer to the dreadful scene when it happened had no surviving object to beguile her sorrow was rendered by long habit more dependent upon fortune than her child
A melancholy always mute was the first effect upon my mother Nothing could charm her eye or her ear Sweet sounds that she once loved and especially when her darling child was the warbler were heard no longer How with streaming eyes have I sat and watched the dear lady and endeavoured to catch her eye to rouse her attention—But I must not think of these things
But even this distress was little in comparison with what was to come A frenzy thus mute motionless and vacant was succeeded by fits talkative outrageous requiring incessant superintendence restraint and even violence
Why led you me thus back to my sad remembrances Excuse me for the present I will tell you the rest some other time tomorrow
Tomorrow accordingly my friend resumed her story
Let me now make an end said she of my mournful narrative and never I charge you do any thing to revive it again
Deep as was my despondency occasioned by these calamities I was not destitute of some joy My husband and my child were lovely and affectionate In their caresses in their welfare I found peace and might still have found it had there not been—— But why should I open afresh wounds which time has imperfectly closed But the story must some time be told to you and the sooner it is told and dismissed to forgetfulness the better
My ill fate led me into company with a woman too well known in the idle and dissipated circles Her character was not unknown to me There was nothing in her features or air to obviate disadvantageous prepossessions I sought not her intercourse I rather shunned it as unpleasing and discreditable but she would not be repulsed Selfinvited she made herself my frequent guest took unsolicited part in my concerns did me many kind offices and at length in spite of my counterinclination won upon my sympathy and gratitude
No one in the world did I fondly think had I less reason to fear than Mrs Waring Her character excited not the slightest apprehension for my own safety She was upwards of forty nowise remarkable for grace or beauty tawdry in her dress accustomed to render more conspicuous the traces of age by her attempts to hide them the mother of a numerous family with a mind but slenderly cultivated always careful to save appearances studiously preserving distance with my husband and he like myself enduring rather than wishing her society What could I fear from the arts of such a one
But alas the woman had consummate address Patience too that nothing could tire Watchfulness that none could detect Insinuation the wiliest and most subtle Thus wound she herself into my affections by an unexampled perseverance in seeming kindness by tender confidence by artful glosses of past misconduct by selfrebukes and feigned contritions
Never were stratagems so intricate dissimulation so profound But still that such a one should seduce my husband young generous ambitious impatient of contumely and reproach and surely not indifferent before this fatal intercourse not indifferent to his wife and child—Yet so it was
I saw his discontents his struggles I heard him curse this woman and the more deeply for my attempts unconscious as I was of her machinations to reconcile them to each other to do away what seemed a causeless indignation or antipathy against her How little I suspected the nature of the conflict in his heart between a new passion and the claims of pride of conscience and of humanity the claims of a child and a wife a wife already in affliction and placing all that yet remained of happiness in the firmness of his virtue in the continuance of his love a wife at the very hour of his meditated flight full of terrors at the near approach of an event whose agonies demand a double share of a husbands supporting encouraging love——
Good Heaven For what evils are some of thy creatures reserved Resignation to thy decree in the last and most cruel distress was indeed a hard task
He was gone Some unavoidable engagement calling him to Hamburg was pleaded Yet to leave me at such an hour I dared not upbraid nor object The tale was so specious The fortunes of a friend depended on his punctual journey The falsehood of his story too soon made itself known He was gone in company with his detested paramour
Yet though my vigilance was easily deceived it was not so with others A creditor who had his bond for three thousand pounds pursued and arrested him at Harwich He was thrown into prison but his companion—let me at least say that in her praise—would not desert him She took lodging near the place of his confinement and saw him daily That had she not done it and had my personal condition allowed should have been my province
Indignation and grief hastened the painful crisis with me I did not weep that the second fruit of this unhappy union saw not the light I wept only that this hour of agony was not to its unfortunate mother the last
I felt not anger I had nothing but compassion for Fielding Gladly would I have recalled him to my arms and to virtue I wrote adjuring him by all our past joys to return vowing only gratitude for his new affection and claiming only the recompense of seeing him restored to his family to liberty to reputation
But alas Fielding had a good but a proud heart He looked upon his error with remorse with selfdetestation and with the fatal belief that it could not be retrieved shame made him withstand all my reasonings and persuasions and in the hurry of his feelings he made solemn vows that he would in the moment of restored liberty abjure his country and his family forever He bore indignantly the yoke of his new attachment but he strove in vain to shake it off Her behaviour always yielding doting supplicative preserved him in her fetters Though upbraided spurned and banished from his presence she would not leave him but by new efforts and new artifices soothed appeased and won again and kept his tenderness
What my entreaties were unable to effect his father could not hope to accomplish He offered to take him from prison the creditor offered to cancel the bond if he would return to me but this condition he refused All his kindred and one who had been his bosomfriend from childhood joined in beseeching his compliance with these conditions but his pride his dread of my merited reproaches the merits and dissuasions of his new companion whose sacrifices for his sake had not been small were obstacles which nothing could subdue
Far indeed was I from imposing these conditions I waited only till by certain arrangements I could gather enough to pay his debts to enable him to execute his vow empty would have been my claims to his affection if I could have suffered with the means of his deliverance in my hands my husband to remain a moment in prison
The remains of my fathers vast fortune was a jointure of a thousand pounds a year settled on my mother and after her death on me My mothers helpless condition put this revenue into my disposal By this means was I enabled without the knowledge of my fatherinlaw or my husband to purchase the debt and dismiss him from prison He set out instantly in company with his paramour to France
When somewhat recovered from the shock of this calamity I took up my abode with my mother What she had was enough as you perhaps will think for plentiful subsistence but to us with habits of a different kind it was little better than poverty That reflection my fathers memory my mothers deplorable state which every year grew worse and the late misfortune were the chief companions of my thoughts
The dear child whose smiles were uninterrupted by his mothers afflictions was some consolation in my solitude To his instruction and to my mothers wants all my hours were devoted I was sometimes not without the hope of better days Full as my mind was of Fieldings merits convinced by former proofs of his ardent and generous spirit I trusted that time and reflection would destroy that spell by which he was now bound
For some time the progress of these reflections was not known In leaving England Fielding dropped all correspondence and connection with his native country He parted with the woman at Rouen leaving no trace behind him by which she might follow him as she wished to do She never returned to England but died a twelvemonth afterwards in Switzerland
As to me I had only to muse day and night upon the possible destiny of this beloved fugitive His incensed father cared not for him He had cast him out of his paternal affections ceased to make inquiries respecting him and even wished never to hear of him again My boy succeeded to my husbands place in his grandfathers affections and in the hopes and views of the family and his mother wanted nothing which their compassionate and respectful love could bestow
Three long and tedious years passed away and no tidings were received Whether he were living or dead nobody could tell At length an English traveller going out of the customary road from Italy met with Fielding in a town in the Venaissin His manners habits and language had become French He seemed unwilling to be recognised by an old acquaintance but not being able to avoid this and becoming gradually familiar he informed the traveller of many particulars in his present situation It appeared that he had made himself useful to a neighbouring seigneur in whose château he had long lived on the footing of a brother France he had resolved to make his future country and among other changes for that end he had laid aside his English name and taken that of his patron which was Perrin He had endeavoured to compensate himself for all other privations by devoting himself to rural amusements and to study
He carefully shunned all inquiries respecting me but when my name was mentioned by his friend who knew well all that had happened and my general welfare together with that of his son asserted he showed deep sensibility and even consented that I should be made acquainted with his situation
I cannot describe the effect of this intelligence on me My hopes of bringing him back to me were suddenly revived I wrote him a letter in which I poured forth my whole heart but his answer contained avowals of all his former resolutions to which time had only made his adherence more easy A second and third letter were written and an offer made to follow him to his retreat and share his exile but all my efforts availed nothing He solemnly and repeatedly renounced all the claims of a husband over me and absolved me from every obligation as a wife
His part in this correspondence was performed without harshness or contempt A strange mixture there was of pathos and indifference of tenderness and resolution Hence I continually derived hope which time however brought no nearer to certainty
At the opening of the Revolution the name of Perrin appeared among the deputies to the constituent assembly for the district in which he resided He had thus succeeded in gaining all the rights of a French citizen and the hopes of his return became almost extinct but that and every other hope respecting him has since been totally extinguished by his marriage with Marguerite dAlmont a young lady of great merit and fortune and a native of Avignon
A long period of suspense was now at an end and left me in a state almost as full of anguish as that which our first separation produced My sorrows were increased by my mothers death and this incident freeing me from those restraints upon my motions which before existed I determined to come to America
My son was now eight years old and his grandfather claiming the province of his instruction I was persuaded to part with him that he might be sent to a distant school Thus was another tie removed and in spite of the wellmeant importunities of my friends I persisted in my scheme of crossing the ocean
I could not help at this part of her narration expressing my surprise that any motives were strong enough to recommend this scheme
It was certainly a freak of despair A few months would perhaps have allayed the fresh grief and reconciled me to my situation but I would not pause or deliberate My scheme was opposed by my friends with great earnestness During my voyage affrighted by the dangers which surrounded me and to which I was wholly unused I heartily repented of my resolution but now methinks I have reason to rejoice at my perseverance I have come into a scene and society so new I have had so many claims made upon my ingenuity and fortitude that my mind has been diverted in some degree from former sorrows There are even times when I wholly forget them and catch myself indulging in cheerful reveries
I have often reflected with surprise on the nature of my own mind It is eight years since my fathers violent death How few of my hours since that period have been blessed with serenity How many nights and days in hateful and lingering succession have been bathed in tears and tormented with regrets That I am still alive with so many causes of death and with such a slowconsuming malady is surely to be wondered at
I believe the worst foes of man at least of men in grief are solitude and idleness The same eternallyoccurring round of objects feeds his disease and the effects of mere vacancy and uniformity are sometimes mistaken for those of grief Yes I am glad I came to America My relations are importunate for my return and till lately I had some thoughts of it but I think now I shall stay where I am for the rest of my days
Since I arrived I am become more of a student than I used to be I always loved literature but never till of late had I a mind enough at ease to read with advantage I now find pleasure in the occupation which I never expected to find
You see in what manner I live The letters which I brought secured me a flattering reception from the best people in your country but scenes of gay resort had nothing to attract me and I quickly withdrew to that seclusion in which you now find me Here always at leisure and mistress of every laudable means of gratification I am not without the belief of serene days yet to come
I now ventured to inquire what were her latest tidings of her husband
At the opening of the Revolution I told you he became a champion of the people By his zeal and his efforts he acquired such importance as to be deputed to the National Assembly In this post he was the adherent of violent measures till the subversion of monarchy and then when too late for his safety he checked his career
And what has since become of him
She sighed deeply You were yesterday reading a list of the proscribed under Robespierre I checked you I had good reason But this subject grows too painful let us change it
Some time after I ventured to renew this topic and discovered that Fielding under his new name of Perrin dAlmont was among the outlawed deputies of last year1 and had been slain in resisting the officers sent to arrest him My friend had been informed that his wife Marguerite dAlmont whom she had reason to believe a woman of great merit had eluded persecution and taken refuge in some part of America She had made various attempts but in vain to find out her retreat Ah said I you must commission me to find her I will hunt her through the continent from Penobscot to Savannah I will not leave a nook unsearched
1 1793
CHAPTER XLVII
None will be surprised that to a woman thus unfortunate and thus deserving my heart willingly rendered up all its sympathies that as I partook of all her grief I hailed with equal delight those omens of felicity which now at length seemed to play in her fancy
I saw her often—as often as my engagements would permit and oftener than I allowed myself to visit any other In this I was partly selfish So much entertainment so much of the best instruction did her conversation afford me that I never had enough of it
Her experience had been so much larger than mine and so wholly different and she possessed such unbounded facility of recounting all she had seen and felt and absolute sincerity and unreserve in this respect were so fully established between us that I can imagine nothing equally instructive and delightful with her conversation
Books are cold jejune vexatious in their sparingness of information at one time and their impertinent loquacity at another Besides all they choose to give they give at once they allow no questions offer no further explanations and bend not to the caprices of our curiosity They talk to us behind a screen Their tone is lifeless and monotonous They charm not our attention by mute significances of gesture and looks They spread no light upon their meaning by cadences and emphasis and pause
How different was Mrs Fieldings discourse So versatile so bending to the changes of the occasion so obsequious to my curiosity and so abundant in that very knowledge in which I was most deficient and on which I set the most value the knowledge of the human heart of society as it existed in another world more abundant in the varieties of customs and characters than I had ever had the power to witness
Partly selfish I have said my motives were but not so as long as I saw that my friend derived pleasure in her turn from my company Not that I could add directly to her knowledge or pleasure but that expansion of heart that ease of utterance and flow of ideas which always were occasioned by my approach were sources of true pleasure of which she had been long deprived and for which her privation had given her a higher relish than ever
She lived in great affluence and independence but made use of her privileges of fortune chiefly to secure to herself the command of her own time She had been long ago tired and disgusted with the dull and fulsome uniformity and parade of the playhouse and ballroom Formal visits were endured as mortifications and penances by which the delights of privacy and friendly intercourse were by contrast increased Music she loved but never sought it in places of public resort or from the skill of mercenary performers and books were not the least of her pleasures
As to me I was wax in her hand Without design and without effort I was always of that form she wished me to assume My own happiness became a secondary passion and her gratification the great end of my being When with her I thought not of myself I had scarcely a separate or independent existence since my senses were occupied by her and my mind was full of those ideas which her discourse communicated To meditate on her looks and words and to pursue the means suggested by my own thoughts or by her conducive in any way to her good was all my business
What a fate said I at the conclusion of one of our interviews has been yours But thank Heaven the storm has disappeared before the age of sensibility has gone past and without drying up every source of happiness You are still young all your powers unimpaired rich in the compassion and esteem of the world wholly independent of the claims and caprices of others amply supplied with that means of usefulness called money wise in that experience which only adversity can give Past evils and sufferings if incurred and endured without guilt if called to view without remorse make up the materials of present joy They cheer our most dreary hours with the widespread accents of well done and they heighten our pleasures into somewhat of celestial brilliancy by furnishing a deep a ruefullydeep contrast
From this moment I will cease to weep for you I will call you the happiest of women I will share with you your happiness by witnessing it but that shall not content me I must some way contribute to it Tell me how I shall serve you What can I do to make you happier Poor am I in every thing but zeal but still I may do something What—pray tell me what can I do
She looked at me with sweet and solemn significance What it was exactly I could not divine yet I was strangely affected by it It was but a glance instantly withdrawn She made me no answer
You must not be silent you must tell me what I can do for you Hitherto I have done nothing All the service is on your side Your conversation has been my study a delightful study but the profit has only been mine Tell me how I can be grateful my voice and manner I believe seldom belie my feelings At this time I had almost done what a second thought made me suspect to be unauthorized Yet I cannot tell why My heart had nothing in it but reverence and admiration Was she not the substitute of my lost mamma Would I not have clasped that beloved shade Yet the two beings were not just the same or I should not as now have checked myself and only pressed her hand to my lips
Tell me repeated I what can I do to serve you I read to you a little now and you are pleased with my reading I copy for you when you want the time I guide the reins for you when you choose to ride Humble offices indeed though perhaps all that a raw youth like me can do for you but I can be still more assiduous I can read several hours in the day instead of one I can write ten times as much as now
Are you not my lost mamma come back again And yet not exactly her I think Something different something better I believe if that be possible At any rate methinks I would be wholly yours I shall be impatient and uneasy till every act every thought every minute someway does you good
How said I her eye still averted seemed to hold back the tear with difficulty and she made a motion as if to rise have I grieved you Have I been importunate Forgive me if I have offended you
Her eyes now overflowed without restraint She articulated with difficulty Tears are too prompt with me of late but they did not upbraid you Pain has often caused them to flow but now it—is—pleasure
What a heart must yours be I resumed When susceptible of such pleasures what pangs must formerly have rent it—But you are not displeased you say with my importunate zeal You will accept me as your own in every thing Direct me prescribe to me There must be something in which I can be of still more use to you some way in which I can be wholly yours——
Wholly mine she repeated in a smothered voice and rising Leave me Arthur It is too late for you to be here It was wrong to stay so late
I have been wrong but how too late I entered but this moment It is twilight still is it not
No it is almost twelve You have been here a long four hours short ones I would rather say—but indeed you must go
What made me so thoughtless of the time But I will go yet not till you forgive me I approached her with a confidence and for a purpose at which upon reflection I am not a little surprised but the being called Mervyn is not the same in her company and in that of another What is the difference and whence comes it Her words and looks engross me My mind wants room for any other object But why inquire whence the difference The superiority of her merits and attractions to all those whom I knew would surely account for my fervour Indifference if I felt it would be the only just occasion of wonder
The hour was indeed too late and I hastened home Stevens was waiting my return with some anxiety I apologized for my delay and recounted to him what had just passed He listened with more than usual interest When I had finished—
Mervyn said he you seem not be aware of your present situation From what you now tell me and from what you have formerly told me one thing seems very plain to me
Prythee what is it
Eliza Hadwin—do you wish—could you bear—to see her the wife of another
Five years hence I will answer you Then my answer may be No I wish her only to be mine Till then I wish her only to be my pupil my ward my sister
But these are remote considerations they are bars to marriage but not to love Would it not molest and disquiet you to observe in her a passion for another
It would but only on her own account not on mine At a suitable age it is very likely I may love her because it is likely if she holds on in her present career she will then be worthy but at present though I would die to insure her happiness I have no wish to insure it by marriage with her
Is there no other whom you love
No There is one worthier than all others one whom I wish the woman who shall be my wife to resemble in all things
And who is this model
You know I can only mean Achsa Fielding
If you love her likeness why not love herself
I felt my heart leap—What a thought is that Love her I do as I love my God as I love virtue To love her in another sense would brand me for a lunatic
To love her as a woman then appears to you an act of folly
In me it would be worse than folly Twould be frenzy
And why
Why Really my friend you astonish me Nay you startle me—for a question like that implies a doubt in you whether I have not actually harboured the thought
No said he smiling presumptuous though you be you have not tobesure reached so high a pitch But still though I think you innocent of so heinous an offence there is no harm in asking why you might not love her and even seek her for a wife
Achsa Fielding my wife Good Heaven—The very sound threw my soul into unconquerable tumults Take care my friend continued I in beseeching accents you may do me more injury than you conceive by even starting such a thought
True said he as long as such obstacles exist to your success so many incurable objections for instance she is six years older than you
That is an advantage Her age is what it ought to be
But she has been a wife and mother already
That is likewise an advantage She has wisdom because she has experience Her sensibilities are stronger because they have been exercised and chastened Her first marriage was unfortunate The purer is the felicity she will taste in a second If her second choice be propitious the greater her tenderness and gratitude
But she is a foreigner independent of control and rich
All which are blessings to herself and to him for whom her hand is reserved especially if like me he is indigent
But then she is unsightly as a nighthag tawny as a Moor the eye of a gipsy low in stature contemptibly diminutive scarcely bulk enough to cast a shadow as she walks less luxuriance than a charred log fewer elasticities than a sheet pebble
Hush hush blasphemer—and I put my hand before his mouth—have I not told you that in mind person and condition she is the type after which my enamoured fancy has modelled my wife
Oh ho Then the objection does not lie with you It lies with her it seems She can find nothing in you to esteem And pray for what faults do you think she would reject you
I cannot tell That she can ever balance for a moment on such a question is incredible Me me That Achsa Fielding should think of me
Incredible indeed You who are loathsome in your person an idiot in your understanding a villain in your morals deformed withered vain stupid and malignant That such a one should choose you for an idol
Pray my friend said I anxiously jest not What mean you by a hint of this kind
I will not jest then but will soberly inquire what faults are they which make this ladys choice of you so incredible You are younger than she though no one who merely observed your manners and heard you talk would take you to be under thirty You are poor are these impediments
I should think not I have heard her reason with admirable eloquence against the vain distinctions of property and nation and rank They were once of moment in her eyes but the sufferings humiliations and reflections of years have cured her of the folly Her nation has suffered too much by the inhuman antipathies of religious and political faction she herself has felt so often the contumelies of the rich the highborn and the bigoted that——
Prythee then what dost imagine her objections to be
Why—I dont know The thought was so aspiring to call her my wife was a height of bliss the very faroff view of which made my head dizzy
A height however to attain which you suppose only her consent her love to be necessary
Without doubt her love is indispensable
Sit down Arthur and let us no longer treat this matter lightly I clearly see the importance of this moment to this ladys happiness and yours It is plain that you love this woman How could you help it A brilliant skin is not hers nor elegant proportions nor majestic stature yet no creature had ever more power to bewitch Her manners have grace and dignity that flow from exquisite feelings delicate taste and the quickest and keenest penetration She has the wisdom of men and of books Her sympathies are enforced by reason and her charities regulated by knowledge She has a womans age fortune more than you wish and a spotless fame How could you fail to love her
You who are her chosen friend who partake her pleasures and share her employments on whom she almost exclusively bestows her society and confidence and to whom she thus affords the strongest of all indirect proofs of impassioned esteem—how could you with all that firmness of love joined with all that discernment of her excellence how could you escape the enchantment
You have not thought of marriage You have not suspected your love From the purity of your mind from the idolatry with which this woman has inspired you you have imagined no delight beyond that of enjoying her society as you now do and have never fostered a hope beyond this privilege
How quickly would this tranquillity vanish and the true state of your heart be evinced if a rival should enter the scene and be entertained with preference then would the seal be removed the spell be broken and you would awaken to terror and to anguish
Of this however there is no danger Your passion is not felt by you alone From her treatment of you your diffidence disables you from seeing but nothing can be clearer to me than that she loves you
I started on my feet A flush of scorching heat flowed to every part of my frame My temples began to throb like my heart I was half delirious and my delirium was strangely compounded of fear and hope of delight and of terror
What have you done my friend You have overturned my peace of mind Till now the image of this woman has been followed by complacency and sober rapture but your words have dashed the scene with dismay and confusion You have raised up wishes and dreams and doubts which possess me in spite of my reason in spite of a thousand proofs
Good God You say she loves—loves me—me a boy in age bred in clownish ignorance scarcely ushered into the world more than childishly unlearned and raw a barndoor simpleton a ploughtail kitchenhearth turniphoeing novice She thus splendidly endowed thus allied to nobles thus gifted with arts and adorned with graces that she should choose me me for the partner of her fortune her affections and her life It cannot be Yet if it were if your guesses should—prove—Oaf madman To indulge so fatal a chimera So rash a dream
My friend my friend I feel that you have done me an irreparable injury I can never more look her in the face I can never more frequent her society These new thoughts will beset and torment me My disquiet will chain up my tongue That overflowing gratitude that innocent joy unconscious of offence and knowing no restraint which have hitherto been my titles to her favour will fly from my features and manners I shall be anxious vacant and unhappy in her presence I shall dread to look at her or to open my lips lest my mad and unhallowed ambition should betray itself
Well replied Stevens this scene is quite new I could almost find it in my heart to pity you I did not expect this and yet from my knowledge of your character I ought perhaps to have foreseen it This is a necessary part of the drama A joyous certainty on these occasions must always be preceded by suspenses and doubts and the close will be joyous in proportion as the preludes are excruciating Go to bed my good friend and think of this Time and a few more interviews with Mrs Fielding will I doubt not set all to rights
CHAPTER XLVIII
I went to my chamber but what different sensations did I carry into it from those with which I had left it a few hours before I stretched myself on the mattress and put out the light but the swarm of new images that rushed on my mind set me again instantly in motion All was rapid vague and undefined wearying and distracting my attention I was roused as by a divine voice that said Sleep no more Mervyn shall sleep no more
What chiefly occupied me was a nameless sort of terror What shall I compare it to Methinks that one falling from a tree overhanging a torrent plunged into the whirling eddy and gasping and struggling while he sinks to rise no more would feel just as I did then Nay some such image actually possessed me Such was one of my reveries in which suddenly I stretched my hand and caught the arm of a chair This act called me back to reason or rather gave my soul opportunity to roam into a new track equally wild
Was it the abruptness of this vision that thus confounded me was it a latent error in my moral constitution which this new conjuncture drew forth into influence These were all the tokens of a mind lost to itself bewildered unhinged plunged into a drear insanity
Nothing less could have prompted so fantastically for midnight as it was my chambers solitude was not to be supported After a few turns across the floor I left the room and the house I walked without design and in a hurried pace I posted straight to the house of Mrs Fielding I lifted the latch but the door did not open It was no doubt locked
How comes this said I and looked around me The hour and occasion were unthought of Habituated to this path I had taken it spontaneously How comes this repeated I Locked upon me but I will summon them I warrant me—and rung the bell not timidly or slightly but with violence Some one hastened from above I saw the glimmer of a candle through the keyhole
Strange thought I a candle at noonday—The door was opened and my poor Bess robed in a careless and hasty manner appeared She started at sight of me but merely because she did not in a moment recognise me—Ah Arthur is it you Come in My mamma has wanted you these two hours I was just going to despatch Philip to tell you to come
Lead me to her said I
She led the way into the parlour—Wait a moment here I will tell her you are come—and she tripped away
Presently a step was heard The door opened again and then entered a man He was tall elegant sedate to a degree of sadness something in his dress and aspect that bespoke the foreigner the Frenchman
What said he mildly is your business with my wife She cannot see you instantly and has sent me to receive your commands
Your wife I want Mrs Fielding
True and Mrs Fielding is my wife Thank Heaven I have come in time to discover her and claim her as such
I started back I shuddered My joints slackened and I stretched my hand to catch something by which I might be saved from sinking on the floor Meanwhile Fielding changed his countenance into rage and fury He called me villain bade me avaunt and drew a shining steel from his bosom with which he stabbed me to the heart I sunk upon the floor and all for a time was darkness and oblivion At length I returned as it were to life I opened my eyes The mists disappeared and I found myself stretched upon the bed in my own chamber I remembered the fatal blow I had received I put my hand upon my breast the spot where the dagger entered There were no traces of a wound All was perfect and entire Some miracle had made me whole
I raised myself up I reexamined my body All around me was hushed till a voice from the pavement below proclaimed that it was past three oclock
What said I has all this miserable pageantry this midnight wandering and this ominous interview been no more than—a dream
It may be proper to mention in explanation of this scene and to show the thorough perturbation of my mind during this night intelligence gained some days after from Eliza She said that about two oclock on this night she was roused by a violent ringing of the bell She was startled by so unseasonable a summons She slept in a chamber adjoining Mrs Fieldings and hesitated whether she should alarm her friend but the summons not being repeated she had determined to forbear
Added to this was the report of Mrs Stevens who on the same night about half an hour after I and her husband had retired imagined that she heard the street door opened and shut but this being followed by no other consequence she supposed herself mistaken I have little doubt that in my feverish and troubled sleep I actually went forth posted to the house of Mrs Fielding rung for admission and shortly after returned to my own apartment
This confusion of mind was somewhat allayed by the return of light It gave way to more uniform but not less rueful and despondent perceptions The image of Achsa filled my fancy but it was the harbinger of nothing but humiliation and sorrow To outroot the conviction of my own unworthiness to persuade myself that I was regarded with the tenderness that Stevens had ascribed to her that the discovery of my thoughts would not excite her anger and grief I felt to be impossible
In this state of mind I could not see her To declare my feelings would produce indignation and anguish to hide them from her scrutiny was not in my power yet what would she think of my estranging myself from her society What expedient could I honestly adopt to justify my absence and what employments could I substitute for those precious hours hitherto devoted to her
This afternoon thought I she has been invited to spend at Stedmans countryhouse on Schuylkill She consented to go and I was to accompany her I am fit only for solitude My behaviour in her presence will be enigmatical capricious and morose I must not go yet what will she think of my failure Not to go will be injurious and suspicious
I was undetermined The appointed hour arrived I stood at my chamberwindow torn by a variety of purposes and swayed alternately by repugnant arguments I several times went to the door of my apartment and put my foot upon the first step of the staircase but as often paused reconsidered and returned to my room
In these fluctuations the hour passed No messenger arrived from Mrs Fielding inquiring into the cause of my delay Was she offended at my negligence Was she sick and disabled from going or had she changed her mind I now remembered her parting words at our last interview Were they not susceptible of two constructions She said my visit was too long and bade me begone Did she suspect my presumption and is she determined thus to punish me
This terror added anew to all my former anxieties It was impossible to rest in this suspense I would go to her I would lay before her all the anguish of my heart I would not spare myself She shall not reproach me more severely than I will reproach myself I will hear my sentence from her own lips and promise unlimited submission to the doom of separation and exile which she will pronounce
I went forth to her house The drawingroom and summerhouse were empty I summoned Philip the footman his mistress was gone to Mr Stedmans
How—To Stedmans—In whose company
Miss Stedman and her brother called for her in the carriage and persuaded her to go with them
Now my heart sunk indeed Miss Stedmans brother A youth forward gallant and gay Flushed with prosperity and just returned from Europe with all the confidence of age and all the ornaments of education She has gone with him though preengaged to me Poor Arthur how art thou despised
This information only heightened my impatience I went away but returned in the evening I waited till eleven but she came not back I cannot justly paint the interval that passed till next morning It was void of sleep On leaving her house I wandered into the fields Every moment increased my impatience She will probably spend the morrow at Stedmans said I and possibly the next day Why should I wait for her return Why not seek her there and rid myself at once of this agonizing suspense Why not go thither now This night wherever I spend it will be unacquainted with repose I will go it is already near twelve and the distance is more than eight miles I will hover near the house till morning and then as early as possible demand an interview
I was well acquainted with Stedmans villa having formerly been there with Mrs Fielding I quickly entered its precincts I went close to the house looked mournfully at every window At one of them a light was to be seen and I took various stations to discover if possible the persons within Methought once I caught a glimpse of a female whom my fancy easily imagined to be Achsa I sat down upon the lawn some hundred feet from the house and opposite the window whence the light proceeded I watched it till at length some one came to the window lifted it and leaning on her arms continued to look out
The preceding day had been a very sultry one the night as usual after such a day and the fall of a violent shower was delightfully serene and pleasant Where I stood was enlightened by the moon Whether she saw me or not I could hardly tell or whether she distinguished any thing but a human figure
Without reflecting on what was due to decorum and punctilio I immediately drew near the house I quickly perceived that her attention was fixed Neither of us spoke till I had placed myself directly under her I then opened my lips without knowing in what manner to address her She spoke first and in a startled and anxious voice—
Who is that
Arthur Mervyn he that was two days ago your friend
Mervyn What is it that brings you here at this hour What is the matter What has happened Is anybody sick
All is safe all are in good health
What then do you come hither for at such an hour
I meant not to disturb you I meant not to be seen
Good heavens How you frighten me What can be the reason of so strange——
Be not alarmed I meant to hover near the house till morning that I might see you as early as possible
For what purpose
I will tell you when we meet and let that be at five oclock the sun will then be risen in the cedargrove under the bank till when farewell
Having said this I prevented all expostulation by turning the angle of the house and hastening towards the shore of the river I roved about the grove that I have mentioned In one part of it is a rustic seat and table shrouded by trees and shrubs and an intervening eminence from the view of those in the house This I designed to be the closing scene of my destiny
Presently I left this spot and wandered upward through embarrassed and obscure paths starting forward or checking my pace according as my wayward meditations governed me Shall I describe my thoughts Impossible It was certainly a temporary loss of reason nothing less than madness could lead into such devious tracks drag me down to so hopeless helpless panicful a depth and drag me down so suddenly lay waste as at a signal all my flourishing structures and reduce them in a moment to a scene of confusion and horror
What did I fear What did I hope What did I design I cannot tell my glooms were to retire with the night The point to which every tumultuous feeling was linked was the coming interview with Achsa That was the boundary of fluctuation and suspense Here was the sealing and ratification of my doom
I rent a passage through the thicket and struggled upward till I reached the edge of a considerable precipice I laid me down at my length upon the rock whose cold and hard surface I pressed with my bared and throbbing breast I leaned over the edge fixed my eyes upon the water and wept—plentifully but why
May this be my hearts last beat if I can tell why
I had wandered so far from Stedmans that when roused by the light I had some miles to walk before I could reach the place of meeting Achsa was already there I slid down the rock above and appeared before her Well might she be startled at my wild and abrupt appearance
I placed myself without uttering a word upon a seat opposite to her the table between and crossing my arms upon the table leaned my head upon them while my face was turned towards and my eyes fixed upon hers I seemed to have lost the power and the inclination to speak
She regarded me at first with anxious curiosity after examining my looks every emotion was swallowed up in terrified sorrow For Gods sake—what does all this mean Why am I called to this place What tidings what fearful tidings do you bring
I did not change my posture or speak What she resumed could inspire all this woe Keep me not in this suspense Arthur these looks and this silence shock and afflict me too much
Afflict you said I at last I come to tell you what now that I am here I cannot tell—— There I stopped
Say what I entreat you You seem to be very unhappy—such a change—from yesterday
Yes From yesterday all then was a joyous calm and now all is—but then I knew not my infamy my guilt——
What words are these and from you Arthur Guilt is to you impossible If purity is to be found on earth it is lodged in your heart What have you done
I have dared—how little you expect the extent of my daring That such as I should look upwards with this ambition
I stood up and taking her hands in mine as she sat looked earnestly in her face—I come only to beseech your pardon To tell you my crime and then disappear forever but first let me see if there be any omen of forgiveness Your looks—they are kind heavenly compassionate still I will trust them I believe and yet letting go her hands and turning away this offence is beyond the reach even of your mercy
How beyond measure these words and this deportment distress me Let me know the worst I cannot bear to be thus perplexed
Why said I turning quickly round and again taking her hands that Mervyn whom you have honoured and confided in and blessed with your sweet regards has been——
What has he been Divinely amiable heroic in his virtue I am sure What else has he been
This Mervyn has imagined has dared—will you forgive him
Forgive you what Why dont you speak Keep not my soul in this suspense
He has dared—But do not think that I am he Continue to look as now and reserve your killing glances the vengeance of those eyes as for one that is absent——Why what—you weep then at last That is a propitious sign When pity drops from the eyes of our judge then should the suppliant approach Now in confidence of pardon I will tell you this Mervyn not content with all you have hitherto granted him has dared—to love you nay to think of you as of his wife
Her eye sunk beneath mine and disengaging her hands she covered her face with them
I see my fate said I in a tone of despair Too well did I predict the effect of this confession but I will go—and unforgiven
She now partly uncovered her face The hand was withdrawn from her cheek and stretched towards me She looked at me
Arthur I do forgive thee—With what accents was this uttered With what looks The cheek that was before pale with terror was now crimsoned over by a different emotion and delight swam in her eye
Could I mistake My doubts my newborn fears made me tremble while I took the offered hand
Surely faltered I I am not—I cannot be—so blessed
There was no need of words The hand that I held was sufficiently eloquent She was still silent
Surely said I my senses deceive me A bliss like this cannot be reserved for me Tell me once more—set my doubting heart at rest
She now gave herself to my arms—I have not words—Let your own heart tell you you have made your Achsa——
At this moment a voice from without it was Miss Stedmans called Mrs Fielding where are you
My friend started up and in a hasty voice bade me begone You must not be seen by this giddy girl Come hither this evening as if by my appointment and I will return with you—She left me in a kind of trance I was immovable My reverie was too delicious—but let me not attempt the picture If I can convey no image of my state previous to this interview my subsequent feelings are still more beyond the reach of my powers to describe
Agreeably to the commands of my mistress I hastened away evading paths which might expose me to observation I speedily made my friends partake of my joy and passed the day in a state of solemn but confused rapture I did not accurately portray the various parts of my felicity The whole rushed upon my soul at once My conceptions were too rapid and too comprehensive to be distinct
I went to Stedmans in the evening I found in the accents and looks of my Achsa new assurances that all which had lately passed was more than a dream She made excuses for leaving the Stedmans sooner than ordinary and was accompanied to the city by her friend We dropped Mrs Fielding at her own house and thither after accompanying Miss Stedman to her own home I returned upon the wings of tremulous impatience
Now could I repeat every word of every conversation that has since taken place between us but why should I do that on paper Indeed it could not be done All is of equal value and all could not be comprised but in many volumes There needs nothing more deeply to imprint it on my memory and while thus reviewing the past I should be iniquitously neglecting the present What is given to the pen would be taken from her and that indeed would be—but no need of saying what it would be since it is impossible
I merely write to allay these tumults which our necessary separation produces to aid me in calling up a little patience till the time arrives when our persons like our minds shall be united forever That time—may nothing happen to prevent—but nothing can happen But why this ominous misgiving just now My love has infected me with these unworthy terrors for she has them too
This morning I was relating my dream to her She started and grew pale A sad silence ensued the cheerfulness that had reigned before—Why thus dejected my friend
I hate your dream It is a horrid thought Would to God it had never occurred to you
Why surely you place no confidence in dreams
I know not where to place confidence not in my present promises of joy—and she wept I endeavoured to soothe or console her Why I asked did she weep
My heart is sore Former disappointments were so heavy the hopes which were blasted were so like my present ones that the dread of a like result will intrude upon my thoughts And now your dream Indeed I know not what to do I believe I ought still to retract—ought at least to postpone an act so irrevocable
Now was I obliged again to go over my catalogue of arguments to induce her to confirm her propitious resolution to be mine within the week I at last succeeded even in restoring her serenity and beguiling her fears by dwelling on our future happiness
Our household while we stayed in America—in a year or two we hie to Europe—should be thus composed Fidelity and skill and pure morals should be sought out and enticed by generous recompenses into our domestic service Duties which should be light and regular—Such and such should be our amusements and employments abroad and at home and would not this be true happiness
Oh yes—if it may be so
It shall be so but this is but the humble outline of the scene something is still to be added to complete our felicity
What more can be added
What more Can Achsa ask what more She who has not been only a wife——
But why am I indulging this penprattle The hour she fixed for my return to her is come and now take thyself away quill Lie there snug in thy leathern case till I call for thee and that will not be very soon I believe I will abjure thy company till all is settled with my love Yes I will abjure thee so let this be thy last office till Mervyn has been made the happiest of men
THE END