Joseph Conrad
The Arrow of Gold
A Story between Two Notes
»Celui qui na connu que
des hommes polis et raisonnables
ou ne connait pas lhomme
ou ne le connait qua demi«
Caractères
To Richard Curle
Authors Note
Having named all the short prefaces written for my books Authors Notes this
one too must have the same heading for the sake of uniformity if at the risk of
some confusion »The Arrow of Gold« as its subtitle states is a story between
two Notes But these Notes are embodied in its very frame belong to its
texture and their mission is to prepare and close the story They are material
to the comprehension of the experience related in the narrative and are meant to
determine the time and place together with certain historical circumstances
conditioning the existence of the people concerned in the transactions of the
twelve months covered by the narrative It was the shortest way of getting over
the preliminaries of a piece of work which could not have been of the nature of
a chronicle
»The Arrow of Gold« is my first afterthewar publication The writing of it
was begun in the autumn of 1917 and finished in the summer of 1918 Its memory
is associated with that of the darkest hour of the war which in accordance
with the well known proverb preceded the dawn the dawn of peace
As I look at them now these pages written in the days of stress and dread
wear a look of strange serenity They were written calmly yet not in cold
blood and are perhaps the only kind of pages I could have written at that time
full of menace but also full of faith
The subject of this book I had been carrying about with me for many years
not so much a possession of my memory as an inherent part of myself It was ever
present to my mind and ready to my hand but I was loth to touch it from a
feeling of what I imagined to be mere shyness but which in reality was a very
comprehensible mistrust of myself
In plucking the fruit of memory one runs the risk of spoiling its bloom
especially if it has got to be carried into the marketplace This being the
product of my private garden my reluctance can be easily understood and though
some critics have expressed their regret that I had not written this book
fifteen years earlier I do not share that opinion If I took it up so late in
life it is because the right moment had not arrived till then I mean the
positive feeling of it which is a thing that cannot be discussed Neither will
I discuss here the regrets of those critics which seem to me the most
irrelevant thing that could have been said in connection with literary
criticism
I never tried to conceal the origins of the subject matter of this book
which I have hesitated so long to write but some reviewers indulged themselves
with a sense of triumph in discovering in it my Dominic of »The Mirror of the
Sea« under his own name a truly wonderful discovery and in recognising the
balancelle Tremolino in the unnamed little craft in which Mr George plied his
fantastic trade and sought to allay the pain of his incurable wound I am not in
the least disconcerted by this display of perspicacity It is the same man and
the same balancelle But for the purposes of a book like »The Mirror of the Sea«
all I could make use of was the personal history of the little Tremolino The
present work is not in any sense an attempt to develop a subject lightly touched
upon in former years and in connection with quite another kind of love What the
story of the Tremolino in its anecdotic character has in common with the story
of »The Arrow of Gold« is the quality of initiation through an ordeal which
required some resolution to face into the life of passion In the few pages at
the end of »The Mirror of the Sea« and in the whole volume of »The Arrow of
Gold« that and no other is the subject offered to the public The pages and the
book form together a complete record and the only assurance I can give my
readers is that as it stands here with all its imperfections it is given to
them complete
I venture this explicit statement because amidst much sympathetic
appreciation I have detected here and there a note as it were of suspicion
Suspicion of facts concealed of explanations held back of inadequate motives
But what is lacking in the facts is simply what I did not know and what is not
explained is what I did not understand myself and what seems inadequate is the
fault of my imperfect insight And all that I could not help In the case of
this book I was unable to supplement these deficiencies by the exercise of my
inventive faculty It was never very strong and on this occasion its use would
have seemed exceptionally dishonest It is from that ethical motive and not from
timidity that I elected to keep strictly within the limits of unadorned
sincerity and to try to enlist the sympathies of my readers without assuming
lofty omniscience or descending to the subterfuge of exaggerated emotions
1920
JC
First Note
The pages which follow have been extracted from a pile of manuscript which was
apparently meant for the eye of one woman only She seems to have been the
writers childhoods friend They had parted as children or very little more
than children Years passed Then something recalled to the woman the companion
of her young days and she wrote to him »I have been hearing of you lately I
know where life has brought you You certainly selected your own road But to
us left behind it always looked as if you had struck out into a pathless
desert We always regarded you as a person that must be given up for lost But
you have turned up again and though we may never see each other my memory
welcomes you and I confess to you I should like to know the incidents on the
road which has led you to where you are now«
And he answers her »I believe you are the only one now alive who remembers
me as a child I have heard of you from time to time but I wonder what sort of
person you are now Perhaps if I did know I wouldnt dare put pen to paper But
I dont know I only remember that we were great chums In fact I chummed with
you even more than with your brothers But I am like the pigeon that went away
in the fable of the Two Pigeons If I once start to tell you I would want you to
feel that you have been there yourself I may overtax your patience with the
story of my life so different from yours not only in all the facts but
altogether in spirit You may not understand You may even be shocked I say all
this to myself but I know I shall succumb I have a distinct recollection that
in the old days when you were about fifteen you always could make me do
whatever you liked«
He succumbed He begins his story for her with the minute narration of this
adventure which took about twelve months to develop In the form in which it is
presented here it has been pruned of all allusions to their common past of all
asides disquisitions and explanations addressed directly to the friend of his
childhood And even as it is the whole thing is of considerable length It seems
that he had not only a memory but that he also knew how to remember But as to
that opinions may differ
This his first great adventure as he calls it begins in Marseilles It
ends there too Yet it might have happened anywhere This does not mean that
the people concerned could have come together in pure space The locality had a
definite importance As to the time it is easily fixed by the events at about
the middle years of the seventies when Don Carlos de Bourbon encouraged by the
general reaction of all Europe against the excesses of communistic
Republicanism made his attempt for the throne of Spain arms in hand amongst
the hills and gorges of Guipuzcoa It is perhaps the last instance of a
Pretenders adventure for a Crown that History will have to record with the
usual grave moral disapproval tinged by a shamefaced regret for the departing
romance Historians are very much like other people
However History has nothing to do with this tale Neither is the moral
justification or condemnation of conduct aimed at here If anything it is
perhaps a little sympathy that the writer expects for his buried youth as he
lives it over again at the end of his insignificant course on this earth
Strange persons yet perhaps not so very different from ourselves
A few words as to certain facts may be added
It may seem that he was plunged very abruptly into this long adventure But
from certain passages suppressed here because mixed up with irrelevant matter
it appears clearly that at the time of the meeting in the café Mills had
already gathered in various quarters a definite view of the eager youth who
had been introduced to him in that ultralegitimist salon What Mills had
learned represented him as a young gentleman who had arrived furnished with
proper credentials and who apparently was doing his best to waste his life in an
eccentric fashion with a bohemian set one poet at least emerged out of it
later on one side and on the other making friends with the people of the Old
Town pilots coasters sailors workers of all sorts He pretended rather
absurdly to be a seaman himself and was already credited with an illdefined and
vaguely illegal enterprise in the Gulf of Mexico At once it occurred to Mills
that this eccentric youngster was the very person for what the legitimist
sympathizers had very much at heart just then to organize a supply by sea of
arms and ammunition to the Carlist detachments in the South It was precisely to
confer on that matter with Doña Rita that Captain Blunt had been despatched from
Headquarters
Mills got in touch with Blunt at once and put the suggestion before him The
Captain thought this the very thing As a matter of fact on that evening of
Carnival those two Mills and Blunt had been actually looking everywhere for
our man They had decided that he should be drawn into the affair if it could be
done Blunt naturally wanted to see him first He must have estimated him a
promising person but from another point of view not dangerous Thus lightly
was the notorious and at the same time mysterious Monsieur George brought into
the world out of the contact of two minds which did not give a single thought
to his flesh and blood
Their purpose explains the intimate tone given to their first conversation
and the sudden introduction of Doña Ritas history Mills of course wanted to
hear all about it As to Captain Blunt I suspect that at the time he was
thinking of nothing else In addition it was Doña Rita who would have to do the
persuading for after all such an enterprise with its ugly and desperate risks
was not a trifle to put before a man however young
It cannot be denied that Mills seems to have acted somewhat unscrupulously
He himself appears to have had some doubt about it at a given moment as they
were driving to the Prado But perhaps Mills with his penetration understood
very well the nature he was dealing with He might even have envied it But its
not my business to excuse Mills As to him whom we may regard as Mills victim
it is obvious that he has never harboured a single reproachful thought For him
Mills is not to be criticized A remarkable instance of the great power of mere
individuality over the young
Part One
I
Certain streets have an atmosphere of their own a sort of universal fame and
the particular affection of their citizens One of such streets is the
Cannebière and the jest »If Paris had a Cannebière it would be a little
Marseilles« is the jocular expression of municipal pride I too I have been
under the spell For me it has been a street leading into the unknown
There was a part of it where one could see as many as five big cafés in a
resplendent row That evening I strolled into one of them It was by no means
full It looked deserted in fact festal and overlighted but cheerful The
wonderful street was distinctly cold it was an evening of carnival I was very
idle and I was feeling a little lonely So I went in and sat down
The carnival time was drawing to an end Everybody high and low was
anxious to have the last fling Companies of masks with linked arms and whooping
like red Indians swept the streets in crazy rushes while gusts of cold mistral
swayed the gas lights as far as the eye could reach There was a touch of bedlam
in all this
Perhaps it was that which made me feel lonely since I was neither masked
nor disguised nor yelling nor in any other way in harmony with the bedlam
element of life But I was not sad I was merely in a state of sobriety I had
just returned from my second West Indies voyage My eyes were still full of
tropical splendour my memory of my experiences lawful and lawless which had
their charm and their thrill for they had startled me a little and had amused
me considerably But they had left me untouched Indeed they were other mens
adventures not mine Except for a little habit of responsibility which I had
acquired they had not matured me I was as young as before Inconceivably young
still beautifully unthinking infinitely receptive
You may believe that I was not thinking of Don Carlos and his fight for a
kingdom Why should I You dont want to think of things which you meet every
day in the newspapers and in conversation I had paid some calls since my return
and most of my acquaintance were legitimists and intensely interested in the
events of the frontier of Spain for political religious or romantic reasons
But I was not interested Apparently I was not romantic enough Or was it that I
was even more romantic than all those good people The affair seemed to me
commonplace The man was attending to his business of a Pretender
On the front page of the illustrated paper I saw lying on a table near me
he looked picturesque enough seated on a boulder a big strong man with a
squarecut beard his hands resting on the hilt of a cavalry sabre and all
around him a landscape of savage mountains He caught my eye on that spiritedly
composed woodcut There were no inane snapshotreproductions in those days It
was the obvious romance for the use of royalists but it arrested my attention
Just then some masks from outside invaded the café dancing hand in hand in
a single file led by a burly man with a cardboard nose He gambolled in wildly
and behind him twenty others perhaps mostly Pierrots and Pierrettes holding
each other by the hand and winding in and out between the chairs and tables
eyes shining in the holes of cardboard faces breasts panting but all
preserving a mysterious silence
They were people of the poorer sort white calico with red spots costumes
but amongst them there was a girl in a black dress sewn over with gold half
moons very high in the neck and very short in the skirt Most of the ordinary
clients of the café didnt even look up from their games or papers I being
alone and idle stared abstractedly The girl costumed as Night wore a small
black velvet mask what is called in French a loup What made her daintiness
join that obviously rough lot I cant imagine Her uncovered mouth and chin
suggested refined prettiness
They filed past my table the Night noticed perhaps my fixed gaze and
throwing her body forward out of the wriggling chain shot out at me a slender
tongue like a pink dart I was not prepared for this not even to the extent of
an appreciative Très joli before she wriggled and hopped away But having been
thus distinguished I could do no less than follow her with my eyes to the door
where the chain of hands being broken all the masks were trying to get out at
once Two gentlemen coming in out of the street stood arrested in the crush The
Night it must have been her idiosyncrasy put her tongue out at them too The
taller of the two he was in evening clothes under a light wideopen overcoat
with great presence of mind chucked her under the chin giving me the view at
the same time of a flash of white teeth in his dark lean face The other man
was very different fair with smooth ruddy cheeks and burly shoulders He was
wearing a grey suit obviously bought readymade for it seemed too tight for
his powerful frame
That man was not altogether a stranger to me For the last week or so I had
been rather on the lookout for him in all the public places where in a
provincial town men may expect to meet each other I saw him for the first time
wearing that same grey readymade suit in a legitimist drawingroom where
clearly he was an object of interest especially to the women I had caught his
name as Monsieur Mills The lady who had introduced me took the earliest
opportunity to murmur into my ear »A relation of Lord X« Un proche parent de
Lord X And then she added casting up her eyes »A good friend of the King«
Meaning Don Carlos of course
I looked at the proche parent not on account of the parentage but
marvelling at his air of ease in that cumbrous body and in such tight clothes
too But presently the same lady informed me further »He has come here amongst
us un naufragé«
I became then really interested I had never seen a shipwrecked person
before All the boyishness in me was aroused I considered a shipwreck as an
unavoidable event sooner or later in my future
Meantime the man thus distinguished in my eyes glanced quietly about and
never spoke unless addressed directly by one of the ladies present There were
more than a dozen people in that drawingroom mostly women eating fine pastry
and talking passionately It might have been a Carlist committee meeting of a
particularly fatuous character Even my youth and inexperience were aware of
that And I was by a long way the youngest person in the room That quiet
Monsieur Mills intimidated me a little by his age I suppose he was
thirtyfive his massive tranquillity his clear watchful eyes But the
temptation was too great and I addressed him impulsively on the subject of
that shipwreck
He turned his big fair face towards me with surprise in his keen glance
which as though he had seen through me in an instant and found nothing
objectionable changed subtly into friendliness On the matter of the shipwreck
he did not say much He only told me that it had not occurred in the
Mediterranean but on the other side of Southern France in the Bay of Biscay
»But this is hardly the place to enter on a story of that kind« he observed
looking round at the room with a faint smile as attractive as the rest of his
rustic but wellbred personality
I expressed my regret I should have liked to hear all about it To this he
said that it was not a secret and that perhaps next time we met
»But where can we meet« I cried »I dont come often to this house you
know«
»Where Why on the Cannebière to be sure Everybody meets everybody else at
least once a day on the pavement opposite the Bourse«
This was absolutely true But though I looked for him on each succeeding day
he was nowhere to be seen at the usual times The companions of my idle hours
and all my hours were idle just then noticed my preoccupation and chaffed me
about it in a rather obvious way They wanted to know whether she whom I
expected to see was dark or fair whether that fascination which kept me on
tenterhooks of expectation was one of my aristocrats or one of my marine
beauties for they knew I had a footing in both these shall we say circles As
to themselves they were the bohemian circle not very wide half a dozen of us
led by a sculptor whom we called Prax for short My own nickname was Young
Ulysses I liked it
But chaff or no chaff they would have been surprised to see me leave them
for the burly and sympathetic Mills I was ready to drop any easy company of
equals to approach that interesting man with every mental deference It was not
precisely because of that shipwreck He attracted and interested me the more
because he was not to be seen The fear that he might have departed suddenly for
England or for Spain caused me a sort of ridiculous depression as though I
had missed a unique opportunity And it was a joyful reaction which emboldened
me to signal to him with a raised arm across that café
I was abashed immediately afterwards when I saw him advance towards my
table with his friend The latter was eminently elegant He was exactly like one
of those figures one can see of a fine May evening in the neighbourhood of the
Operahouse in Paris Very Parisian indeed And yet he struck me as not so
perfectly French as he ought to have been as if ones nationality were an
accomplishment with varying degrees of excellence As to Mills he was perfectly
insular There could be no doubt about him They were both smiling faintly at
me The burly Mills attended to the introduction »Captain Blunt«
We shook hands The name didnt tell me much What surprised me was that
Mills should have remembered mine so well I dont want to boast of my modesty
but it seemed to me that two or three days was more than enough for a man like
Mills to forget my very existence As to the Captain I was struck on closer
view by the perfect correctness of his personality Clothes slight figure
clearcut thin suntanned face pose all this was so good that it was saved
from the danger of banality only by the mobile black eyes of a keenness that one
doesnt meet every day in the south of France and still less in Italy Another
thing was that viewed as an officer in mufti he did not look sufficiently
professional That imperfection was interesting too
You may think that I am subtilizing my impressions on purpose but you may
take it from a man who has lived a rough a very rough life that it is the
subtleties of personalities and contacts and events that count for interest
and memory and pretty well nothing else This you see is the last evening
of that part of my life in which I did not know that woman These are like the
last hours of a previous existence It isnt my fault that they are associated
with nothing better at the decisive moment than the banal splendours of a gilded
café and the bedlamite yells of carnival in the street
We three however almost complete strangers to each other had assumed
attitudes of serious amiability round our table A waiter approached for orders
and it was then in relation to my order for coffee that the absolutely first
thing I learned of Captain Blunt was the fact that he was a sufferer from
insomnia In his immovable way Mills began charging his pipe I felt extremely
embarrassed all at once but became positively annoyed when I saw our Prax enter
the café in a sort of mediæval costume very much like what Faust wears in the
third act I have no doubt it was meant for a purely operatic Faust A light
mantle floated from his shoulders He strode theatrically up to our table and
addressing me as Young Ulysses proposed I should go outside on the fields of
asphalt and help him gather a few marguerites to decorate a truly infernal
supper which was being organized across the road at the Maison Dorée upstairs
With expostulatory shakes of the head and indignant glances I called his
attention to the fact that I was not alone He stepped back a pace as if
astonished by the discovery took off his plumed velvet toque with a low
obeisance so that the feathers swept the floor and swaggered off the stage with
his left hand resting on the hilt of the property dagger at his belt
Meantime the wellconnected but rustic Mills had been busy lighting his
briar and the distinguished Captain sat smiling to himself I was horribly vexed
and apologized for that intrusion saying that the fellow was a future great
sculptor and perfectly harmless but he had been swallowing lots of night air
which had got into his head apparently
Mills peered at me with his friendly but awfully searching blue eyes through
the cloud of smoke he had wreathed about his big head The slim dark Captains
smile took on an amiable expression Might he know why I was addressed as Young
Ulysses by my friend and immediately he added the remark with urbane
playfulness that Ulysses was an astute person Mills did not give me time for a
reply He struck in »That old Greek was famed as a wanderer the first
historical seaman« He waved his pipe vaguely at me
»Ah Vraiment« The polite Captain seemed incredulous and as if weary »Are
you a seaman In what sense pray« We were talking French and he used the term
homme de mer
Again Mills interfered quietly »In the same sense in which you are a
military man« Homme de guerre
It was then that I heard Captain Blunt produce one of his striking
declarations He had two of them and this was the first
I live by my sword
It was said in an extraordinary dandified manner which in conjunction with
the matter made me forget my tongue in my head I could only stare at him He
added more naturally »2nd Reg Castille Cavalry« Then with marked stress in
Spanish »En las filas legitimas«
Mills was heard unmoved like Jove in his cloud »Hes on leave here«
»Of course I dont shout that fact on the housetops« the Captain addressed
me pointedly »any more than our friend his shipwreck adventure We must not
strain the toleration of the French authorities too much It wouldnt be correct
and not very safe either«
I became suddenly extremely delighted with my company A man who lived by
his sword before my eyes close at my elbow So such people did exist in the
world yet I had not been born too late And across the table with his air of
watchful unmoved benevolence enough in itself to arouse ones interest there
was the man with the story of a shipwreck that mustnt be shouted on housetops
Why
I understood very well why when he told me that he had joined in the Clyde
a small steamer chartered by a relative of his a very wealthy man he observed
probably Lord X I thought to carry arms and other supplies to the Carlist
army And it was not a shipwreck in the ordinary sense Everything went
perfectly well to the last moment when suddenly the Numancia a Republican
ironclad had appeared and chased them ashore on the French coast below Bayonne
In a few words but with evident appreciation of the adventure Mills described
to us how he swam to the beach clad simply in a money belt and a pair of
trousers Shells were falling all round till a tiny French gunboat came out of
Bayonne and shooed the Numancia away out of territorial waters
He was very amusing and I was fascinated by the mental picture of that
tranquil man rolling in the surf and emerging breathless in the costume you
know on the fair land of France in the character of a smuggler of war
material However they had never arrested or expelled him since he was there
before my eyes But how and why did he get so far from the scene of his sea
adventure was an interesting question And I put it to him with most naïve
indiscretion which did not shock him visibly He told me that the ship being
only stranded not sunk the contraband cargo aboard was doubtless in good
condition The French customhouse men were guarding the wreck If their
vigilance could be hm removed by some means or even merely reduced a lot
of these rifles and cartridges could be taken off quietly at night by certain
Spanish fishing boats In fact salved for the Carlists after all He thought
it could be done
I said with professional gravity that given a few perfectly quiet nights
rare on that coast it could certainly be done
Mr Mills was not afraid of the elements It was the highly inconvenient
zeal of the French customhouse people that had to be dealt with in some way
»Heavens« I cried astonished »You cant bribe the French Customs This
isnt a South American republic«
»Is it a republic« he murmured very absorbed in smoking his wooden pipe
»Well isnt it«
He murmured again »Oh so little« At this I laughed and a faintly
humorous expression passed over Mills face No Bribes were out of the
question he admitted But there were many legitimist sympathies in Paris A
proper person could set them in motion and a mere hint from high quarters to the
officials on the spot not to worry overmuch about that wreck
What was most amusing was the cool reasonable tone of this amazing project
Mr Blunt sat by very detached his eyes roamed here and there all over the
café and it was while looking upward at the pink foot of a fleshy and very much
foreshortened goddess of some sort depicted on the ceiling in an enormous
composition in the Italian style that he let fall casually the words She will
manage it for you quite easily
»Every Carlist agent in Bayonne assured me of that« said Mr Mills »I
would have gone straight to Paris only I was told she had fled here for a rest
tired discontented Not a very encouraging report«
»These flights are well known« muttered Mr Blunt »You shall see her all
right«
»Yes They told me that you «
I broke in »You mean to say that you expect a woman to arrange that sort of
thing for you«
»A trifle for her« Mr Blunt remarked indifferently »At that sort of
thing women are best They have less scruples«
»More audacity« interjected Mr Mills almost in a whisper
Mr Blunt kept quiet for a moment then »You see« he addressed me in a
most refined tone »a mere man may suddenly find himself being kicked down the
stairs«
I dont know why I should have felt shocked by that statement It could not
be because it was untrue The other did not give me time to offer any remark He
inquired with extreme politeness what did I know of South American republics I
confessed that I knew very little of them Wandering about the Gulf of Mexico I
had a lookin here and there and amongst others I had a few days in Haiti which
was of course unique being a negro republic On this Captain Blunt began to
talk of negroes at large He talked of them with knowledge intelligence and a
sort of contemptuous affection He generalized he particularized about the
blacks he told anecdotes I was interested a little incredulous and
considerably surprised What could this man with such a boulevardier exterior
that he looked positively like an exile in a provincial town and with his
drawingroom manner what could he know of negroes
Mills sitting silent with his air of watchful intelligence seemed to read
my thoughts waved his pipe slightly and explained »The Captain is from South
Carolina«
»Oh« I murmured and then after the slightest of pauses I heard the second
of Mr JK Blunts declarations
»Yes« he said »Je suis Américain catholique et gentilhomme« in a tone
contrasting so strongly with the smile which as it were underlined the
uttered words that I was at a loss whether to return the smile in kind or
acknowledge the words with a grave little bow Of course I did neither and there
fell on us an odd equivocal silence It marked our final abandonment of the
French language I was the one to speak first proposing that my companions
should sup with me not across the way which would be riotous with more than
one infernal supper but in another much more select establishment in a side
street away from the Cannebière It flattered my vanity a little to be able to
say that I had a corner table always reserved in the Salon des Palmiers
otherwise Salon Blanc where the atmosphere was legitimist and extremely
decorous besides even in Carnival time »Nine tenths of the people there« I
said »would be of your political opinions if thats an inducement Come along
Lets be festive« I encouraged them
I didnt feel particularly festive What I wanted was to remain in my
company and break an inexplicable feeling of constraint of which I was aware
Mills looked at me steadily with a faint kind smile
»No« said Blunt »Why should we go there They will be only turning us out
in the small hours to go home and face insomnia Can you imagine anything more
disgusting«
He was smiling all the time but his deepset eyes did not lend themselves
to the expression of whimsical politeness which he tried to achieve He had
another suggestion to offer Why shouldnt we adjourn to his rooms He had there
materials for a dish of his own invention for which he was famous all along the
line of the Royal Cavalry outpost and he would cook it for us There were also
a few bottles of some white wine quite possible which we could drink out of
Venetian cutglass goblets A bivouac feast in fact And he wouldnt turn us
out in the small hours Not he He couldnt sleep
Need I say I was fascinated by the idea Well yes But somehow I hesitated
and looked towards Mills so much my senior He got up without a word This was
decisive for no obscure premonition and of something indefinite at that could
stand against the example of his tranquil personality
II
The street in which Mr Blunt lived presented itself to our eyes narrow
silent empty and dark but with enough gaslamps in it to disclose its most
striking feature a quantity of flagpoles sticking out above many of its closed
portals It was the street of Consuls and I remarked to Mr Blunt that coming
out in the morning he could survey the flags of all nations almost except his
own The US consulate was on the other side of the town He mumbled through
his teeth that he took good care to keep clear of his own consulate
»Are you afraid of the consuls dog« I asked jocularly The consuls dog
weighed about a pound and a half and was known to the whole town as exhibited on
the consular forearm in all places at all hours but mainly at the hour of the
fashionable promenade on the Prado
But I felt my jest misplaced when Mills growled low in my ear »They are all
Yankees there«
I murmured a confused »Of course«
Books are nothing I discovered that I had never been aware before that the
Civil War in America was not printed matter but a fact only about ten years old
Of course He was a South Carolinian gentleman I was a little ashamed of my
want of tact Meantime looking like the conventional conception of a
fashionable reveller with his operahat pushed off his forehead Captain Blunt
was having some slight difficulty with his latchkey for the house before which
we had stopped was not one of those manystoried houses that made up the greater
part of the street It had only one row of windows above the ground floor Dead
walls abutting on to it indicated that it had a garden Its dark front presented
no marked architectural character and in the flickering light of a street lamp
it looked a little as though it had gone down in the world The greater then was
my surprise to enter a hall paved in black and white marble and in its dimness
appearing of palatial proportions Mr Blunt did not turn up the small solitary
gasjet but led the way across the blackandwhite pavement past the end of the
staircase past a door of gleaming dark wood with a heavy bronze handle It gave
access to his rooms he said but he took us straight on to the studio at the end
of the passage
It was rather a small place tacked on in the manner of a leanto to the
garden side of the house A large lamp was burning brightly there The floor was
of mere flagstones but the few rugs scattered about though extremely worn were
very costly There was also there a beautiful sofa upholstered in pink figured
silk an enormous divan with many cushions some splendid armchairs of various
shapes but all very shabby a round table and in the midst of these fine
things a small common iron stove Somebody must have been attending it lately
for the fire roared and the warmth of the place was very grateful after the
bonesearching cold blasts of mistral outside
Mills without a word flung himself on the divan and propped on his arm
gazed thoughtfully at a distant corner where in the shadow of a monumental
carved wardrobe an articulated dummy without head or hands but with beautifully
shaped limbs composed in a shrinking attitude seemed to be embarrassed by his
stare
As we sat enjoying the bivouac hospitality the dish was really excellent
and our host in a shabby grey jacket still looked the accomplished
manabouttown my eyes kept on straying towards that corner Blunt noticed this
and remarked that I seemed to be attracted by the Empress
»Its disagreeable« I said »It seems to lurk there like a shy skeleton at
the feast But why do you give the name of Empress to that dummy«
»Because it sat for days and days in the robes of a Byzantine Empress to a
painter I wonder where he discovered these priceless stuffs You knew
him I believe«
Mills lowered his head slowly then tossed down his throat some wine out of
a Venetian goblet
»This house is full of costly objects So are all his other houses so is
his place in Paris that mysterious Pavilion hidden away in Passy somewhere«
Mills knew the Pavilion The wine had I suppose loosened his tongue
Blunt too lost something of his reserve From their talk I gathered the notion
of an eccentric personality a man of great wealth not so much solitary as
difficult of access a collector of fine things a painter known only to very
few people and not at all to the public market But as meantime I had been
emptying my Venetian goblet with a certain regularity the amount of heat given
out by that iron stove was amazing it parched ones throat and the
strawcoloured wine didnt seem much stronger than so much pleasantly flavoured
water the voices and the impressions they conveyed acquired something fantastic
to my mind Suddenly I perceived that Mills was sitting in his shirtsleeves I
had not noticed him taking off his coat Blunt had unbuttoned his shabby jacket
exposing a lot of starched shirtfront with the white tie under his dark shaved
chin He had a strange air of insolence or so it seemed to me I addressed him
much louder than I intended really
»Did you know that extraordinary man«
»To know him personally one had to be either very distinguished or very
lucky Mr Mills here «
»Yes I have been lucky« Mills struck in »It was my cousin who was
distinguished Thats how I managed to enter his house in Paris it was called
the Pavilion twice«
»And saw Doña Rita twice too« asked Blunt with an indefinite smile and a
marked emphasis Mills was also emphatic in his reply but with a serious face
»I am not an easy enthusiast where women are concerned but she was without
doubt the most admirable find of his amongst all the priceless items he had
accumulated in that house the most admirable «
»Ah But you see of all the objects there she was the only one that was
alive« pointed out Blunt with the slightest possible flavour of sarcasm
»Immensely so« affirmed Mills »Not because she was restless indeed she
hardly ever moved from that couch between the windows you know«
»No I dont know Ive never been in there« announced Blunt with that
flash of white teeth so strangely without any character of its own that it was
merely disturbing
»But she radiated life« continued Mills »She had plenty of it and it had
a quality My cousin and Henry Allègre had a lot to say to each other and so I
was free to talk to her At the second visit we were like old friends which was
absurd considering that all the chances were that we would never meet again in
this world or in the next I am not meddling with theology but it seems to me
that in the Elysian fields shell have her place in a very special company«
All this in a sympathetic voice and in his unmoved manner Blunt produced
another disturbing white flash and muttered
»I should say mixed« Then louder »As for instance «
»As for instance Cleopatra« answered Mills quietly He added after a pause
»Who was not exactly pretty«
»I should have thought rather a La Vallière« Blunt dropped with an
indifference of which one did not know what to make He may have begun to be
bored with the subject But it may have been put on for the whole personality
was not clearly definable I however was not indifferent A woman is always an
interesting subject and I was thoroughly awake to that interest Mills pondered
for a while with a sort of dispassionate benevolence at last
»Yes Doña Rita as far as I know her is so varied in her simplicity that
even that is possible« he said »Yes A romantic resigned La Vallière who
had a big mouth«
I felt moved to make myself heard
»Did you know La Vallière too« I asked impertinently
Mills only smiled at me »No I am not quite so old as that« he said »But
its not very difficult to know facts of that kind about a historical personage
There were some ribald verses made at the time and Louis XIV was congratulated
on the possession I really dont remember how it goes on the possession of
dece bec amoureux
Qui dune oreille a lautre va
Tra là là
or something of the sort It neednt be from ear to ear but its a fact that a
big mouth is often a sign of a certain generosity of mind and feeling Young
man beware of women with small mouths Beware of the others too of course
but a small mouth is a fatal sign Well the royalist sympathizers cant charge
Doña Rita with any lack of generosity from what I hear Why should I judge her
I have known her for say six hours altogether It was enough to feel the
seduction of her native intelligence and of her splendid physique And all that
was brought home to me so quickly« he concluded »because she had what some
Frenchman has called the terrible gift of familiarity«
Blunt had been listening moodily He nodded assent
»Yes« Mills thoughts were still dwelling in the past »And when saying
goodbye she could put in an instant an immense distance between herself and
you A slight stiffening of that perfect figure a change of the physiognomy it
was like being dismissed by a person born in the purple Even if she did offer
you her hand as she did to me it was as if across a broad river Trick of
manner or a bit of truth peeping out Perhaps shes really one of those
inaccessible beings What do you think Blunt«
It was a direct question which for some reason as if my range of
sensitiveness had been increased already displeased or rather disturbed me
strangely Blunt seemed not to have heard it But after a while he turned to me
»That thick man« he said in a tone of perfect urbanity »is as fine as a
needle All these statements about the seduction and then this final doubt
expressed after only two visits which could not have included more than six
hours altogether and this some three years ago But it is Henry Allègre that you
should ask this question Mr Mills«
»I havent the secret of raising the dead« answered Mills good humouredly
»And if I had I would hesitate It would seem such a liberty to take with a
person one had known so slightly in life«
»And yet Henry Allègre is the only person to ask about her after all this
uninterrupted companionship of years ever since he discovered her all the
time every breathing moment of it till literally his very last breath I
dont mean to say she nursed him He had his confidential man for that He
couldnt bear women about his person But then apparently he couldnt bear this
one out of his sight Shes the only woman who ever sat to him for he would
never suffer a model inside his house Thats why the Girl in the Hat and the
Byzantine Empress have that family air though neither of them is really a
likeness of Doña Rita You know my mother«
Mills inclined his body slightly and a fugitive smile vanished from his
lips Blunts eyes were fastened on the very centre of his empty plate
»Then perhaps you know my mothers artistic and literary associations«
Blunt went on in a subtly changed tone »My mother has been writing verse since
she was a girl of fifteen Shes still writing verse Shes still fifteen a
spoiled girl of genius So she requested one of her poet friends no less than
Versoy himself to arrange for a visit to Henry Allègres house At first he
thought he hadnt heard aright You must know that for my mother a man that
doesnt jump out of his skin for any womans caprice is not chivalrous But
perhaps you do know «
Mills shook his head with an amused air Blunt who had raised his eyes from
his plate to look at him started afresh with great deliberation
»She gives no peace to herself or her friends My mothers exquisitely
absurd You understand that all these painters poets art collectors and
dealers in bricàbrac he interjected through his teeth of my mother are not
in my way but Versoy lives more like a man of the world One day I met him at
the fencing school He was furious He asked me to tell my mother that this was
the last effort of his chivalry The jobs she gave him to do were too difficult
But I daresay he had been pleased enough to show the influence he had in that
quarter He knew my mother would tell the worlds wife all about it Hes a
spiteful gingery little wretch The top of his head shines like a billiard
ball I believe he polishes it every morning with a cloth Of course they didnt
get further than the big drawingroom on the first floor an enormous
drawingroom with three pairs of columns in the middle The double doors on the
top of the staircase had been thrown wide open as if for a visit from royalty
You can picture to yourself my mother with her white hair done in some 18th
century fashion and her sparkling black eyes penetrating into those splendours
attended by a sort of baldheaded vexed squirrel and Henry Allègre coming
forward to meet them like a severe prince with the face of a tombstone Crusader
big white hands muffled silken voice halfshut eyes as if looking down at
them from a balcony You remember that trick of his Mills«
Mills emitted an enormous cloud of smoke out of his distended cheeks
»I daresay he was furious too« Blunt continued dispassionately »But he
was extremely civil He showed her all the treasures in the room ivories
enamels miniatures all sorts of monstrosities from Japan from India from
Timbuctoo for all I know He pushed his condescension so far as to have
the Girl in the Hat brought down into the drawingroom halflength unframed
They put her on a chair for my mother to look at The Byzantine Empress was
already there hung on the end wall full length gold frame weighing half a
ton My mother first overwhelms the Master with thanks and then absorbs herself
in the adoration of the Girl in the Hat Then she sighs out It should be called
Diaphanéité if there is such a word Ah This is the last expression of
modernity She puts up suddenly her faceàmain and looks towards the end wall
And that Byzantium itself Who was she this sullen and beautiful Empress
The one I had in my mind was Theodosia Allègre consented to answer
Originally a slave girl from somewhere
My mother can be marvellously indiscreet when the whim takes her She finds
nothing better to do than to ask the Master why he took his inspiration for
those two faces from the same model No doubt she was proud of her discerning
eye It was really clever of her Allègre however looked on it as a colossal
impertinence but he answered in his silkiest tones
Perhaps it is because I saw in that woman something of the women of all
time
My mother might have guessed that she was on thin ice there She is
extremely intelligent Moreover she ought to have known But women can be
miraculously dense sometimes So she exclaims Then she is a wonder And with
some notion of being complimentary goes on to say that only the eyes of the
discoverer of so many wonders of art could have discovered something so
marvellous in life I suppose Allègre lost his temper altogether then or
perhaps he only wanted to pay my mother out for all these Masters she had been
throwing at his head for the last two hours He insinuates with the utmost
politeness
As you are honouring my poor collection with a visit you may like to judge
for yourself as to the inspiration of these two pictures She is upstairs
changing her dress after our morning ride But she wouldnt be very long She
might be a little surprised at first to be called down like this but with a few
words of preparation and purely as a matter of art
There were never two people more taken aback Versoy himself confesses that
he dropped his tall hat with a crash I am a dutiful son I hope but I must say
I should have liked to have seen the retreat down the great staircase Ha Ha
Ha«
He laughed most undutifully and then his face twitched grimly
»That implacable brute Allègre followed them down ceremoniously and put my
mother into the fiacre at the door with the greatest deference He didnt open
his lips though and made a great bow as the fiacre drove away My mother didnt
recover from her consternation for three days I lunch with her almost daily and
I couldnt imagine what was the matter Then one day «
He glanced round the table jumped up and with a word of excuse left the
studio by a small door in a corner This startled me into the consciousness that
I had been as if I had not existed for these two men With his elbows propped on
the table Mills had his hands in front of his face clasping the pipe from which
he extracted now and then a puff of smoke staring stolidly across the room
I was moved to ask in a whisper
»Do you know him well«
»I dont know what he is driving at« he answered drily »But as to his
mother she is not as volatile as all that I suspect it was business It may
have been a deep plot to get a picture out of Allègre for somebody My cousin as
likely as not Or simply to discover what he had The Blunts lost all their
property and in Paris there are various ways of making a little money without
actually breaking anything Not even the law And Mrs Blunt really had a
position once in the days of the Second Empire and so «
I listened openmouthed to these things into which my WestIndian
experiences could not have given me an insight But Mills checked himself and
ended in a changed tone
»Its not easy to know what she would be at either in any given instance
For the rest spotlessly honourable A delightful aristocratic old lady Only
poor«
A bump at the door silenced him and immediately Mr John Blunt Captain of
Cavalry in the Army of Legitimity firstrate cook as to one dish at least
generous host entered clutching the necks of four more bottles between the
fingers of his hand
»I stumbled and nearly smashed the lot« he remarked casually But even I
with all my innocence never for a moment believed he had stumbled accidentally
During the uncorking and the filling up of glasses a profound silence reigned
but neither of us took it seriously any more than his stumble
»One day« he went on again in that curiously flavoured voice of his »my
mother took a heroic decision and made up her mind to get up in the middle of
the night You must understand my mothers phraseology It meant that she would
be up and dressed by nine oclock This time it was not Versoy that was
commanded for attendance but I You may imagine how delighted I was «
It was very plain to me that Blunt was addressing himself exclusively to
Mills Mills the mind even more than Mills the man It was as if Mills
represented something initiated and to be reckoned with I of course could
have no such pretensions If I represented anything it was a perfect freshness
of sensations and a refreshing ignorance not so much of what life may give one
as to that I had some ideas at least but of what it really contains I knew
very well that I was utterly insignificant in these mens eyes Yet my attention
was not checked by that knowledge Its true they were talking of a woman but I
was yet at the age when this subject by itself is not of overwhelming interest
My imagination would have been more stimulated probably by the adventures and
fortunes of a man What kept my interest from flagging was Mr Blunt himself
The play of the white gleams of his smile round the suspicion of grimness of his
tone fascinated me like a moral incongruity
So at the age when one sleeps well indeed but does feel sometimes as if the
need of sleep were a mere weakness of a distant old age I kept easily awake
and in my freshness I was kept amused by the contrast of personalities of the
disclosed facts and moral outlook with the rough initiations of my WestIndian
experience And all these things were dominated by a feminine figure which to my
imagination had only a floating outline now invested with the grace of
girlhood now with the prestige of a woman and indistinct in both these
characters For these two men had seen her while to me she was only being
presented elusively in vanishing words in the shifting tones of an unfamiliar
voice
She was being presented to me now in the Bois de Boulogne at the early hour
of the ultrafashionable world so I understood on a light bay bit of blood
attended on the off side by that Henry Allègre mounted on a dark brown powerful
weight carrier and on the other by one of Allègres acquaintances the man had
no real friends distinguished frequenters of that mysterious Pavilion And so
that side of the frame in which that woman appeared to one down the perspective
of the great Allée was not permanent That morning when Mr Blunt had to escort
his mother there for the gratification of her irresistible curiosity of which
he highly disapproved there appeared in succession at that womans or girls
bridlehand a cavalry general in red breeches on whom she was smiling a
rising politician in a grey suit who talked to her with great animation but
left her side abruptly to join a personage in a red fez and mounted on a white
horse and then some time afterwards the vexed Mr Blunt and his indiscreet
mother though I really couldnt see where the harm was had one more chance of
a good stare The third party that time was the Royal Pretender Allègre had
been painting his portrait lately whose hearty sonorous laugh was heard long
before the mounted trio came riding very slowly abreast of the Blunts There was
colour in the girls face She was not laughing Her expression was serious and
her eyes thoughtfully downcast Blunt admitted that on that occasion the charm
brilliance and force of her personality was adequately framed between those
magnificently mounted paladinlike attendants one older than the other but the
two composing together admirably in the different stages of their manhood Mr
Blunt had never before seen Henry Allègre so close Allègre was riding nearest
to the path on which Blunt was dutifully giving his arm to his mother they had
got out of their fiacre and wondering if that confounded fellow would have the
impudence to take off his hat But he did not Perhaps he didnt notice Allègre
was not a man of wandering glances There were silver hairs in his beard but he
looked as solid as a statue Less than three months afterwards he was gone
»What was it« asked Mills who had not changed his pose for a very long
time
»Oh an accident But he lingered They were on their way to Corsica A
yearly pilgrimage Sentimental perhaps It was to Corsica that he carried her
off I mean first of all«
There was the slightest contraction of Mr Blunts facial muscles Very
slight but I staring at the narrator after the manner of all simple souls
noticed it the twitch of a pain which surely must have been mental There was
also a suggestion of effort before he went on »I suppose you know how he got
hold of her« in a tone of ease which was astonishingly illassumed for such a
worldly selfcontrolled drawingroom person
Mills changed his attitude to look at him fixedly for a moment Then he
leaned back in his chair and with interest I dont mean curiosity I mean
interest
»Does anybody know besides the two parties concerned« he asked with
something as it were renewed or was it refreshed in his unmoved quietness »I
ask because one has never heard any tales I remember one evening in a
restaurant seeing a man come in with a lady a beautiful lady very
particularly beautiful as though she had been stolen out of Mahomets paradise
With Donña Rita it cant be anything as definite as that But speaking of her in
the same strain Ive always felt that she looked as though Allègre had caught
her in the precincts of some temple in the mountains«
I was delighted I had never heard before a woman spoken about in that way
a real live woman that is not a woman in a book For this was no poetry and yet
it seemed to put her in the category of visions And I would have lost myself in
it if Mr Blunt had not most unexpectedly addressed himself to me
»I told you that man was as fine as a needle« And then to Mills »Out
of a temple We know what that means« His dark eyes flashed »And must it be
really in the mountains« he added
»Or in a desert« conceded Mills »if you prefer that There have been
temples in deserts you know«
Blunt had calmed down suddenly and assumed a nonchalant pose
»As a matter of fact Henry Allègre caught her very early one morning in his
own old garden full of thrushes and other small birds She was sitting on a
stone a fragment of some old balustrade with her feet in the damp grass and
reading a tattered book of some kind She had on a short black twopenny frock
une petite robe de deux sous and there was a hole in one of her stockings She
raised her eyes and saw him looking down at her thoughtfully over that ambrosian
beard of his like Jove at a mortal They exchanged a good long stare for at
first she was too startled to move and then he murmured Restez donc She
lowered her eyes again on her book and after a while heard him walk away on the
path Her heart thumped while she listened to the little birds filling the air
with their noise She was not frightened I am telling you this positively
because she has told me the tale herself What better authority can you have
« Blunt paused
»Thats true Shes not the sort of person to lie about her own sensations«
murmured Mills above his clasped hands
»Nothing can escape his penetration« Blunt remarked to me with that
equivocal urbanity which made me always feel uncomfortable on Mills account
Positively nothing He turned to Mills again »After some minutes of immobility
she told me she arose from her stone and walked slowly on the track of that
apparition Allègre was nowhere to be seen by that time Under the gateway of
the extremely ugly tenement house which hides the Pavilion and the garden from
the street the wife of the porter was waiting with her arms akimbo At once she
cried out to Rita You were caught by our gentleman
As a matter of fact that old woman being a friend of Ritas aunt allowed
the girl to come into the garden whenever Allègre was away But Allègres goings
and comings were sudden and unannounced and that morning Rita crossing the
narrow thronged street had slipped in through the gateway in ignorance of
Allègres return and unseen by the porters wife
The child she was but little more than that then expressed her regret of
having perhaps got the kind porters wife into trouble
The old woman said with a peculiar smile Your face is not of the sort that
gets other people into trouble My gentleman wasnt angry He says you may come
in any morning you like
Rita without saying anything to this crossed the street back again to the
warehouse full of oranges where she spent most of her waking hours Her
dreaming empty idle thoughtless unperturbed hours she calls them She
crossed the street with a hole in her stocking She had a hole in her stocking
not because her uncle and aunt were poor they had around them never less than
eight thousand oranges mostly in cases but because she was then careless and
untidy and totally unconscious of her personal appearance She told me herself
that she was not even conscious then of her personal existence She was a mere
adjunct in the twilight life of her aunt a Frenchwoman and her uncle the
orange merchant a Basque peasant to whom her other uncle the great man of the
family the priest of some parish in the hills near Tolosa had sent her up at
the age of thirteen or thereabouts for safe keeping She is of peasant stock
you know This is the true origin of the Girl in the Hat and of the Byzantine
Empress which excited my dear mother so much of the mysterious girl that the
privileged personalities great in art in letters in politics or simply in the
world could see on the big sofa during the gatherings in Allègres exclusive
Pavilion the Doña Rita of their respectful addresses manifest and mysterious
like an object of art from some unknown period the Doña Rita of the initiated
Paris Doña Rita and nothing more unique and indefinable« He stopped with a
disagreeable smile
»And of peasant stock« I exclaimed in the strangely conscious silence that
fell between Mills and Blunt
»Oh All these Basques have been ennobled by Don Sanche II« said Captain
Blunt moodily »You see coats of arms carved over the doorways of the most
miserable caserios As far as that goes shes Doña Rita right enough whatever
else she is or is not in herself or in the eyes of others In your eyes for
instance Mills Eh«
For a time Mills preserved that conscious silence
»Why think about it at all« he murmured coldly at last »A strange bird is
hatched sometimes in a nest in an unaccountable way and then the fate of such a
bird is bound to be illdefined uncertain questionable And so that is how
Henry Allègre saw her first And what happened next«
»What happened next« repeated Mr Blunt with an affected surprise in his
tone »Is it necessary to ask that question If you had asked how the next
happened But as you may imagine she hasnt told me anything about that She
didnt« he continued with polite sarcasm »enlarge upon the facts That
confounded Allègre with his impudent assumption of princely airs must have I
shouldnt wonder made the fact of his notice appear as a sort of favour dropped
from Olympus I really cant tell how the minds and the imaginations of such
aunts and uncles are affected by such rare visitations Mythology may give us a
hint There is the story of Danaë for instance«
»There is« remarked Mills calmly »but I dont remember any aunt or uncle
in that connection«
»And there are also certain stories of the discovery and acquisition of some
unique objects of art The sly approaches the astute negotiations the lying
and the circumventing for the love of beauty you know«
With his dark face and with the perpetual smiles playing about his grimness
Mr Blunt appeared to me positively satanic Mills hand was toying absently
with an empty glass Again they had forgotten my existence altogether
»I dont know how an object of art would feel« went on Blunt in an
unexpectedly grating voice which however recovered its tone immediately »I
dont know But I do know that Rita herself was not a Danaë never not at any
time of her life She didnt mind the holes in her stockings She wouldnt mind
holes in her stockings now That is if she manages to keep any stockings at
all« he added with a sort of suppressed fury so funnily unexpected that I
would have burst into a laugh if I hadnt been lost in astonishment of the
simplest kind
»No really« There was a flash of interest from the quiet Mills
»Yes really« Blunt nodded and knitted his brows very devilishly indeed
»She may yet be left without a single pair of stockings«
»The worlds a thief« declared Mills with the utmost composure »It
wouldnt mind robbing a lonely traveller«
»He is so subtle« Blunt remembered my existence for the purpose of that
remark and as usual it made me very uncomfortable »Perfectly true A lonely
traveller They are all in the scramble from the lowest to the highest Heavens
What a gang There was even an Archbishop in it«
»Vous plaisantez« said Mills but without any marked show of incredulity
»I joke very seldom« Blunt protested earnestly »Thats why I havent
mentioned His Majesty whom God preserve That would have been an exaggeration
However the end is not yet We were talking about the beginning I have
heard that some dealers in fine objects quite mercenary people of course my
mother has an experience in that world show sometimes an astonishing
reluctance to part with some specimens even at a good price It must be very
funny Its just possible that the uncle and the aunt have been rolling in tears
on the floor amongst their oranges or beating their heads against the walls
from rage and despair But I doubt it And in any case Allègre was not the sort
of person that gets into any vulgar trouble And its just possible that those
people stood openmouthed at all that magnificence They werent poor you know
therefore it wasnt incumbent on them to be honest They are still there in the
old respectable warehouse I understand They have kept their position in their
quartier I believe But they didnt keep their niece It might have been an act
of sacrifice For I seem to remember hearing that after attending for a while
some school round the corner the child had been set to keep the books of that
orange business However it might have been the first fact in Ritas and
Allègres common history is a journey to Italy and then to Corsica You know
Allègre had a house in Corsica somewhere She has it now as she has everything
he ever had and that Corsican palace is the portion that will stick the longest
to Doña Rita I imagine Who would want to buy a place like that I suppose
nobody would take it for a gift The fellow was having houses built all over the
place This very house where we are sitting belonged to him Doña Rita has given
it to her sister I understand Or at any rate the sister runs it She is my
landlady «
»Her sister here« I exclaimed »Her sister«
Blunt turned to me politely but only for a long mute gaze His eyes were in
deep shadow and it struck me for the first time then that there was something
fatal in that mans aspect as soon as he fell silent I think the effect was
purely physical but in consequence whatever he said seemed inadequate and as if
produced by a commonplace if uneasy soul
»Doña Rita brought her down from her mountains on purpose She is asleep
somewhere in this house in one of the vacant rooms She lets them you know at
extortionate prices that is if people will pay them for she is easily
intimidated You see she has never seen such an enormous town before in her
life nor yet so many strange people She has been keeping house for the
unclepriest in some mountain gorge for years and years Its extraordinary he
should have let her go There is something mysterious there some reason or
other Its either theology or Family The saintly uncle in his wild parish
would know nothing of any other reasons She wears a rosary at her waist
Directly she had seen some real money she developed a love of it If you stay
with me long enough and I hope you will I really cant sleep you will see
her going out to mass at halfpast six but there is nothing remarkable in her
just a peasant woman of thirtyfour or so A rustic nun «
I may as well say at once that we didnt stay as long as that It was not
that morning that I saw for the first time Therese of the whispering lips and
downcast eyes slipping out to an early mass from the house of iniquity into the
early winter murk of the city of perdition in a world steeped in sin No It
was not on that morning that I saw Doña Ritas incredible sister with her brown
dry face her gliding motion and her really nunlike dress with a black
handkerchief enfolding her head tightly with the two pointed ends hanging down
her back Yes nunlike enough And yet not altogether People would have turned
round after her if those darlings out to the halfpast six mass hadnt been the
only occasion on which she ventured into the impious streets She was frightened
of the streets but in a particular way not as if of a danger but as if of a
contamination Yet she didnt fly back to her mountains because at bottom she
had an indomitable character a peasant tenacity of purpose predatory
instincts
No we didnt remain long enough with Mr Blunt to see even as much as her
back glide out of the house on her prayerful errand She was prayerful She was
terrible Her oneidead peasant mind was as inaccessible as a closed iron safe
She was fatal Its perfectly ridiculous to confess that they all seem fatal
to me now but writing to you like this in all sincerity I dont mind appearing
ridiculous I suppose fatality must be expressed embodied like other forces of
this earth and if so why not in such people as well as in other more glorious
or more frightful figures
We remained however long enough to let Mr Blunts halfhidden acrimony
develop itself or prey on itself in further talk about the man Allègre and the
girl Rita Mr Blunt still addressing Mills with that story passed on to what
he called the second act the disclosure with what he called the
characteristic Allègre impudence which surpassed the impudence of kings
millionaries or tramps by many degrees the revelation of Ritas existence to
the world at large It wasnt a very large world but then it was most choicely
composed How is one to describe it shortly In a sentence it was the world that
rides in the morning in the Bois
In something less than a year and a half from the time he found her sitting
on a broken fragment of stone work buried in the grass of his wild garden full
of thrushes starlings and other innocent creatures of the air he had given
her amongst other accomplishments the art of sitting admirably on a horse and
directly they returned to Paris he took her out with him for their first morning
ride
»I leave you to judge of the sensation« continued Mr Blunt with a faint
grimace as though the words had an acrid taste in his mouth »And the
consternation« he added venomously »Many of those men on that great morning
had some one of their womenkind with them But their hats had to go off all the
same especially the hats of the fellows who were under some sort of obligation
to Allègre You would be astonished to hear the names of people of real
personalities in the world who not to mince matters owed money to Allègre
And I dont mean in the world of art only In the first rout of the surprise
some story of an adopted daughter was set abroad hastily I believe You know
adopted with a peculiar accent on the word and it was plausible enough I have
been told that at that time she looked extremely youthful by his side I mean
extremely youthful in expression in the eyes in the smile She must have been
«
Blunt pulled himself up short but not so short as not to let the confused
murmur of the word adorable reach our attentive ears
The heavy Mills made a slight movement in his chair The effect on me was
more inward a strange emotion which left me perfectly still and for the moment
of silence Blunt looked more fatal than ever
»I understand it didnt last very long« he addressed us politely again
»And no wonder The sort of talk she would have heard during that first
springtime in Paris would have put an impress on a much less receptive
personality for of course Allègre didnt close his doors to his friends and
this new apparition was not of the sort to make them keep away After that first
morning she always had somebody to ride at her bridlehand Old Doyen the
sculptor was the first to approach them At that age a man may venture on
anything He rides a strange animal like a circus horse Rita had spotted him
out of the corner of her eye as he passed them putting up his enormous paw in a
still more enormous glove airily you know like this« Blunt waved his hand
above his head »to Allègre He passes on All at once he wheels his fantastic
animal round and comes trotting after them With the merest casual Bonjour
Allègre he ranges close to her on the other side and addresses her hat in
hand in that booming voice of his like a deferential roar of the sea very far
away His articulation is not good and the first words she really made out were
I am an old sculptor Of course there is that habit But I can see you
through all that
He put his hat on very much on one side I am a great sculptor of women he
declared I gave up my life to them poor unfortunate creatures the most
beautiful the wealthiest the most loved Two generations of them Just
look at me full in the eyes mon enfant
They stared at each other Doña Rita confessed to me that the old fellow
made her heart beat with such force that she couldnt manage to smile at him
And she saw his eyes run full of tears He wiped them simply with the back of
his hand and went on booming faintly Thought so You are enough to make one
cry I thought my artists life was finished and here you come along from devil
knows where with this young friend of mine who isnt a bad smearer of canvases
but its marble and bronze that you want I shall finish my artists life
with your face but I shall want a bit of those shoulders too You hear
Allègre I must have a bit of her shoulders too I can see through the cloth
that they are divine If they arent divine I will eat my hat Yes I will do
your head and then nunc dimittis
These were the first words with which the world greeted her or should I say
civilization did already both her native mountains and the cavern of oranges
belonged to a prehistoric age Why dont you ask him to come this afternoon
Allègres voice suggested gently He knows the way to the house
The old man said with extraordinary fervour Oh yes I will pulled up his
horse and they went on She told me that she could feel her heartbeats for a
long time The remote power of that voice those old eyes full of tears that
noble and ruined face had affected her extraordinarily she said But perhaps
what affected her was the shadow the still living shadow of a great passion in
the mans heart
Allègre remarked to her calmly He has been a little mad all his life«
III
Mills lowered the hands holding the extinct and even cold pipe before his big
face
»Hm shoot an arrow into that old mans heart like this But was there
anything done«
»A terracotta bust I believe Good I dont know I rather think its in
this house A lot of things have been sent down from Paris here when she gave
up the Pavilion When she goes up now she stays in hotels you know I imagine
it is locked up in one of these things« went on Blunt pointing towards the end
of the studio where amongst the monumental presses of dark oak lurked the shy
dummy which had worn the stiff robes of the Byzantine Empress and the amazing
hat of the Girl rakishly I wondered whether that dummy had travelled from
Paris too and whether with or without its head Perhaps that head had been
left behind having rolled into a corner of some empty room in the dismantled
Pavilion I represented it to myself very lonely without features like a
turnip with a mere peg sticking out where the neck should have been And
Mr Blunt was talking on
»There are treasures behind these locked doors brocades old jewels
unframed pictures bronzes chinoiseries Japoneries«
He growled as much as a man of his accomplished manner and voice could
growl »I dont suppose she gave away all that to her sister but I shouldnt be
surprised if that timid rustic didnt lay a claim to the lot for the love of God
and the good of the Church And held on with her teeth too« he added
graphically
Mills face remained grave Very grave I was amused at those little
venomous outbreaks of the fatal Mr Blunt Again I knew myself utterly
forgotten But I didnt feel dull and I didnt even feel sleepy That last
strikes me as strange as this distance of time in regard of my tender years and
of the depressing hour which precedes the dawn We had been drinking that
strawcoloured wine too I wont say like water nobody would have drunk water
like that but well and the haze of tobacco smoke was like the blue mist of
great distances seen in dreams
Yes that old sculptor was the first who joined them in the sight of all
Paris It was that old glory that opened the series of companions of those
morning rides a series which extended through three successive Parisian
springtimes and comprised a famous physiologist a fellow who seemed to hint
that mankind could be made immortal or at least everlastingly old a fashionable
philosopher and psychologist who used to lecture to enormous audiences of women
with his tongue in his cheek but never permitted himself anything of the kind
when talking to Rita that surly dandy Cabanel but he only once from mere
vanity and everybody else at all distinguished including also a celebrated
person who turned out later to be a swindler But he was really a genius
All this according to Mr Blunt who gave us all those details with a sort of
languid zest covering a secret irritation
»Apart from that you know« went on Mr Blunt »all she knew of the world
of men and women I mean till Allègres death was what she had seen of it from
the saddle two hours every morning during four months of the year or so
Absolutely all with Allègre selfdenyingly on her right hand with that
impenetrable air of guardianship Dont touch He didnt like his treasures to
be touched unless he actually put some unique object into your hands with a sort
of triumphant murmur Look close at that Of course I only have heard all this
I am much too small a person you understand to even «
He flashed his white teeth at us most agreeably but the upper part of his
face the shadowed setting of his eyes and the slight drawing in of his
eyebrows gave a fatal suggestion I thought suddenly of the definition he
applied to himself »Américain catholique et gentilhomme« completed by that
startling I live by my sword uttered in a light drawingroom tone tinged by a
flavour of mockery lighter even than air
He insisted to us that the first and only time he had seen Allègre a little
close was that morning in the Bois with his mother His Majesty whom God
preserve then not even an active Pretender flanked the girl still a girl on
the other side the usual companion for a month past or so Allègre had suddenly
taken it into his head to paint his portrait A sort of intimacy had sprung up
Mrs Blunts remark was that of the two striking horsemen Allègre looked the
more kingly
»The son of a confounded millionaire soapboiler« commented Mr Blunt
through his clenched teeth »A man absolutely without parentage Without a
single relation in the world Just a freak«
»That explains why he could leave all his fortune to her« said Mills
»The will I believe« said Mr Blunt moodily »was written on a half sheet
of paper with his device of an Assyrian bull at the head What the devil did he
mean by it Anyway it was the last time that she surveyed the world of men and
women from the saddle Less than three months later «
»Allègre died and « murmured Mills in an interested manner
»And she had to dismount« broke in Mr Blunt grimly »Dismount right into
the middle of it Down to the very ground you understand I suppose you can
guess what that would mean She didnt know what to do with herself She had
never been on the ground She «
»Aha« said Mills
»Even eh eh if you like« retorted Mr Blunt in an unrefined tone that
made me open my eyes which were well opened before still wider
He turned to me with that horrible trick of his of commenting upon Mills as
though that quiet man whom I admired whom I trusted and for whom I had already
something resembling affection had been as much of a dummy as that other one
lurking in the shadows pitiful and headless in its attitude of alarmed
chastity
»Nothing escapes his penetration He can perceive a haystack at an enormous
distance when he is interested«
I thought this was going rather too far even to the borders of vulgarity
but Mills remained untroubled and only reached for his tobacco pouch
»But thats nothing to my mothers interest She can never see a haystack
therefore she is always so surprised and excited Of course Doña Rita was not a
woman about whom the newspapers insert little paragraphs But Allègre was the
sort of man A lot came out in print about him and a lot was talked in the world
about her and at once my dear mother perceived a haystack and naturally became
unreasonably absorbed in it I thought her interest would wear out But it
didnt She had received a shock and had perceived an impression by means of
that girl My mother has never been treated with impertinence before and the
æsthetic impression must have been of extraordinary strength I must suppose
that it amounted to a sort of moral revolution I cant account for her
proceedings in any other way When Rita turned up in Paris a year and a half
after Allègres death some shabby journalist smart creature hit upon the
notion of alluding to her as the heiress of Mr Allègre The heiress of Mr
Allègre has taken up her residence again amongst the treasures of art in that
Pavilion so well known to the élite of the artistic scientific and political
world not to speak of the members of aristocratic and even royal families
You know the sort of thing It appeared first in the Figaro I believe And then
at the end a little phrase She is alone She was in a fair way of becoming a
celebrity of a sort Daily little allusions and that sort of thing Heaven only
knows who stopped it There was a rush of old friends into that garden enough
to scare all the little birds away I suppose one or several of them having
influence with the press did it But the gossip didnt stop and the name
stuck too since it conveyed a very certain and very significant sort of fact
and of course the Venetian episode was talked about in the houses frequented by
my mother It was talked about from a royalist point of view with a kind of
respect It was even said that the inspiration and the resolution of the war
going on now over the Pyrenees had come out from that head Some of them
talked as if she were the guardian angel of Legitimacy You know what royalist
gush is like«
Mr Blunts face expressed sarcastic disgust Mills moved his head the least
little bit Apparently he knew
»Well speaking with all possible respect it seems to have affected my
mothers brain I was already with the royal army and of course there could be
no question of regular postal communications with France My mother hears or
overhears somewhere that the heiress of Mr Allègre is contemplating a secret
journey All the noble Salons were full of chatter about that secret naturally
So she sits down and pens an autograph Madame informed that you are proceeding
to the place on which the hopes of all the right thinking people are fixed I
trust to your womanly sympathy with a mothers anxious feelings etc etc and
ending with a request to take messages to me and bring news of me The
coolness of my mother«
Most unexpectedly Mills was heard murmuring a question which seemed to me
very odd
»I wonder how your mother addressed that note«
A moment of silence ensued
»Hardly in the newspaper style I should think« retorted Mr Blunt with
one of his grins that made me doubt the stability of his feelings and the
consistency of his outlook in regard to his whole tale »My mothers maid took
it in a fiacre very late one evening to the Pavilion and brought an answer
scrawled on a scrap of paper Write your messages at once and signed with a big
capital R So my mother sat down again to her charming writing desk and the maid
made another journey in a fiacre just before midnight and ten days later or so
I got a letter thrust into my hand at the avanzadas just as I was about to start
on a night patrol together with a note asking me to call on the writer so that
she might allay my mothers anxieties by telling her how I looked
It was signed R only but I guessed at once and nearly fell off my horse
with surprise«
»You mean to say that Doña Rita was actually at the Royal Headquarters
lately« exclaimed Mills with evident surprise »Why we everybody thought
that all this affair was over and done with«
»Absolutely Nothing in the world could be more done with than that episode
Of course the rooms in the hotel at Tolosa were retained for her by an order
from Royal Headquarters Two garretrooms the place was so full of all sorts of
court people but I can assure you that for the three days she was there she
never put her head outside the door General Mongroviejo called on her
officially from the King A general not anybody of the household you see
Thats a distinct shade of the present relation He stayed just five minutes
Some personage from the Foreign department at Headquarters was closeted for
about a couple of hours That was of course business Then two officers from the
staff came together with some explanations or instructions to her Then Baron
H a fellow with a pretty wife who had made so many sacrifices for the cause
raised a great todo about seeing her and she consented to receive him for a
moment They say he was very much frightened by her arrival but after the
interview went away all smiles Who else Yes the Archbishop came Half an
hour This is more than is necessary to give a blessing and I cant conceive
what else he had to give her But I am sure he got something out of her Two
peasants from the upper valley were sent for by military authorities and she saw
them too That friar who hangs about the court had been in and out several
times Well and lastly I myself I got leave from the outposts That was the
first time I talked to her I would have gone that evening back to the regiment
but the friar met me in the corridor and informed me that I would be ordered to
escort that most loyal and noble lady back to the French frontier as a personal
mission of the highest honour I was inclined to laugh at him He himself is a
cheery and jovial person and he laughed with me quite readily but I got the
order before dark all right It was rather a job as the Alphonsists were
attacking the right flank of our whole front and there was some considerable
disorder there I mounted her on a mule and her maid on another We spent one
night in a ruined old tower occupied by some of our infantry and got away at
daybreak under the Alphonsist shells The maid nearly died of fright and one of
the troopers with us was wounded To smuggle her back across the frontier was
another job but it wasnt my job It wouldnt have done for her to appear in
sight of French frontier posts in the company of Carlist uniforms She seems to
have a fearless streak in her nature At one time as we were climbing a slope
absolutely exposed to artillery fire I asked her on purpose being provoked by
the way she looked about at the scenery A little emotion eh And she answered
me in a low voice Oh yes I am moved I used to run about these hills when I
was little And note just then the trooper close behind us had been wounded by
a shell fragment He was swearing awfully and fighting with his horse The
shells were falling around us about two to the minute
Luckily the Alphonsist shells are not much better than our own But women
are funny I was afraid the maid would jump down and clear out amongst the
rocks in which case we should have had to dismount and catch her But she
didnt do that she sat perfectly still on her mule and shrieked Just simply
shrieked Ultimately we came to a curiously shaped rock at the end of a short
wooded valley It was very still there and the sunshine was brilliant I said to
Doña Rita We will part in a few minutes I understand that my mission ends at
this rock And she said I know this rock well This is my country
Then she thanked me for bringing her there and presently three peasants
appeared waiting for us two youths and one shaven old man with a thin nose
like a sword blade and perfectly round eyes a character well known to the whole
Carlist army The two youths stopped under the trees at a distance but the old
fellow came quite close up and gazed at her screwing up his eyes as if looking
at the sun Then he raised his arm very slowly and took his red boina off his
bald head I watched her smiling at him all the time I daresay she knew him as
well as she knew the old rock Very old rock The rock of ages and the aged
man landmarks of her youth Then the mules started walking smartly forward
with the three peasants striding alongside of them and vanished between the
trees These fellows were most likely sent out by her uncle the Cura
It was a peaceful scene the morning light the bit of open country framed
in steep stony slopes a high peak or two in the distance the thin smoke of
some invisible caserios rising straight up here and there Far away behind us
the guns had ceased and the echoes in the gorges had died out I never knew what
peace meant before
Nor since« muttered Mr Blunt after a pause and then went on »The little
stone church of her uncle the holy man of the family might have been round the
corner of the next spur of the nearest hill I dismounted to bandage the
shoulder of my trooper It was only a nasty long scratch While I was busy about
it a bell began to ring in the distance The sound fell deliciously on the ear
clear like the morning light But it stopped all at once You know how a distant
bell stops suddenly I never knew before what stillness meant While I was
wondering at it the fellow holding our horses was moved to uplift his voice He
was a Spaniard not a Basque and he trolled out in Castilian that song you
know
Oh bells of my native village
I am going away goodbye
He had a good voice When the last note had floated away I remounted but there
was a charm in the spot something particular and individual because while we
were looking at it before turning our horses heads away the singer said I
wonder what is the name of this place and the other man remarked Why there is
no village here and the first one insisted No I mean this spot this very
place The wounded trooper decided that it had no name probably But he was
wrong It had a name The hill or the rock or the wood or the whole had a
name I heard of it by chance later It was Lastaola«
A cloud of tobacco smoke from Mills pipe drove between my head and the head
of Mr Blunt who strange to say yawned slightly It seemed to me an obvious
affectation on the part of that man of perfect manners and moreover suffering
from distressing insomnia
»This is how we first met and how we first parted« he said in a weary
indifferent tone »Its quite possible that she did see her uncle on the way
Its perhaps on this occasion that she got her sister to come out of the
wilderness I have no doubt she had a pass from the French Government giving her
the completest freedom of action She must have got it in Paris before leaving«
Mr Blunt broke out into worldly slightly cynical smiles
»She can get anything she likes in Paris She could get a whole army over
the frontier if she liked She could get herself admitted into the Foreign
Office at one oclock in the morning if it so pleased her Doors fly open before
the heiress of Mr Allègre She has inherited the old friends the old
connections Of course if she were a toothless old woman But you see
she isnt The ushers in all the ministries bow down to the ground therefore
and voices from the innermost sanctums take on an eager tone when they say
Faites entrer My mother knows something about it She has followed her career
with the greatest attention And Rita herself is not even surprised She
accomplishes most extraordinary things as naturally as buying a pair of gloves
People in the shops are very polite and people in the world are like people in
the shops What did she know of the world She had seen it only from the saddle
Oh she will get your cargo released for you all right How will she do it
Well when its done you follow me Mills when its done she will hardly
know herself«
»Its hardly possible that she shouldnt be aware« Mills pronounced calmly
»No she isnt an idiot« admitted Mr Blunt in the same matteroffact
voice »But she confessed to myself only the other day that she suffered from a
sense of unreality I told her that at any rate she had her own feelings surely
And she said to me Yes there was one of them at least about which she had no
doubt and you will never guess what it was Dont try I happen to know
because we are pretty good friends«
At that moment we all changed our attitude slightly Mills staring eyes
moved for a glance towards Blunt I who was occupying the divan raised myself
on the cushions a little and Mr Blunt with half a turn put his elbow on the
table
»I asked her what it was I dont see« went on Mr Blunt with a perfectly
horrible gentleness »why I should have shown particular consideration to the
heiress of Mr Allègre I dont mean to that particular mood of hers It was the
mood of weariness And so she told me Its fear I will say it once again
Fear «
He added after a pause »There can be not the slightest doubt of her
courage But she distinctly uttered the word fear«
There was under the table the noise of Mills stretching his legs
»A person of imagination« he began »a young virgin intelligence steeped
for nearly five years in the talk of Allègres studio where every hard truth
had been cracked and every belief had been worried into shreds They were like a
lot of intellectual dogs you know «
»Yes yes of course« Blunt interrupted hastily »the intellectual
personality altogether adrift a soul without a home but I who am neither
very fine nor very deep I am convinced that the fear is material«
»Because she confessed to it being that« insinuated Mils
»No because she didnt« contradicted Blunt with an angry frown and in an
extremely suave voice »In fact she bit her tongue And considering what good
friends we are under fire together and all that I conclude that there is
nothing there to boast of Neither is my friendship as a matter of fact«
Mills face was the very perfection of indifference But I who was looking
at him in my innocence to discover what it all might mean I had a notion that
it was perhaps a shade too perfect
»My leave is a farce« Captain Blunt burst out with a most unexpected
exasperation »As an officer of Don Carlos I have no more standing than a
bandit I ought to have been interned in those filthy old barracks in Avignon a
long time ago Why am I not Because Donña Rita exists and for no other
reason on earth Of course its known that I am about She has only to whisper
over the wires to the Minister of the Interior Put that bird in a cage for me
and the thing would be done without any more formalities than that Sad
world this« he commented in a changed tone »Nowadays a gentleman who lives by
his sword is exposed to that sort of thing«
It was then for the first time I heard Mr Mills laugh It was a deep
pleasant kindly note not very loud and altogether free from that quality of
derision that spoils so many laughs and gives away the secret hardness of
hearts But neither was it a very joyous laugh
»But the truth of the matter is that I am en mission« continued Captain
Blunt »I have been instructed to settle some things to set other things going
and by my instructions Doña Rita is to be the intermediary for all those
objects And why Because every bald head in this Republican Government gets
pink at the top whenever her dress rustles outside the door They bow with
immense deference when the door opens but the bow conceals a smirk because of
those Venetian days That confounded Versoy shoved his nose into that business
he says accidentally He saw them together on the Lido and those writing
fellows are horrible he wrote what he calls a vignette I suppose accidentally
too under that very title There was in it a Prince and a lady and a big dog
He described how the Prince on landing from the gondola emptied his purse into
the hands of a picturesque old beggar while the lady a little way off stood
gazing back at Venice with the dog romantically stretched at her feet One of
Versoys beautiful prose vignettes in a great daily that has a literary column
But some other papers that didnt care a cent for literature rehashed the mere
fact And thats the sort of fact that impresses your political man especially
if the lady is well such as she is «
He paused His dark eyes flashed fatally away from us in the direction of
the shy dummy and then he went on with cultivated cynicism
»So he rushes down here Overdone weary rest for her nerves Nonsense I
assure you she has no more nerves than I have«
I dont know how he meant it but at that moment slim and elegant he
seemed a mere bundle of nerves himself with the flitting expressions on his
thin wellbred face with the restlessness of his meagre brown hands amongst
the objects on the table With some pipe ash amongst a little spilt wine his
forefinger traced a capital R Then he looked into an empty glass profoundly I
have a notion that I sat there staring and listening like a yokel at a play
Mills pipe was lying quite a foot away in front of him empty cold Perhaps he
had no more tobacco Mr Blunt assumed his dandified air nervously
»Of course her movements are commented on in the most exclusive
drawingrooms and also in other places also exclusive but where the gossip
takes on another tone There they are probably saying that she has got a coup de
coeur for someone Whereas I think she is utterly incapable of that sort of
thing That Venetian affair the beginning of it and the end of it was nothing
but a coup de tête and all those activities in which I am involved as you see
by order of Headquarters ha ha ha are nothing but that all this
connection all this intimacy into which I have dropped Not to speak of my
mother who is delightful but as irresponsible as one of those crazy princesses
that shock their Royal families «
He seemed to bite his tongue and I observed that Mills eyes seemed to have
grown wider than I had ever seen them before In that tranquil face it was a
great play of feature »An intimacy« began Mr Blunt with an extremely refined
grimness of tone »an intimacy with the heiress of Mr Allègre on the part of
on my part well it isnt exactly its open well I leave it to
you what does it look like«
»Is there anybody looking on« Mills let fall gently through his kindly
lips
»Not actually perhaps at this moment But I dont need to tell a man of
the world like you that such things cannot remain unseen And that they are
well compromising because of the mere fact of the fortune«
Mills got on his feet looked for his jacket and after getting into it made
himself heard while he looked for his hat
»Whereas the woman herself is so to speak priceless«
Mr Blunt muttered the word Obviously
By then we were all on our feet The iron stove glowed no longer and the
lamp surrounded by empty bottles and empty glasses had grown dimmer
I know that I had a great shiver on getting away from the cushions of the
divan
»We will meet again in a few hours« said Mr Blunt »Dont forget to come«
he said addressing me »Oh yes do Have no scruples I am authorized to make
invitations«
He must have noticed my shyness my surprise my embarrassment And indeed I
didnt know what to say
»I assure you there isnt anything incorrect in your coming« he insisted
with the greatest civility »You will be introduced by two good friends Mills
and myself Surely you are not afraid of a very charming woman «
I was not afraid but my head swam a little and I only looked at him mutely
»Lunch precisely at midday Mills will bring you along I am sorry you two
are going I shall throw myself on the bed for an hour or two but I am sure I
wont sleep«
He accompanied us along the passage into the blackandwhite hall where the
low gas flame glimmered forlornly When he opened the front door the cold blast
of the mistral rushing down the street of the Consuls made me shiver to the very
marrow of my bones
Mills and I exchanged but a few words as we walked down towards the centre
of the town In the chill tempestuous dawn he strolled along musingly
disregarding the discomfort of the cold the depressing influence of the hour
the desolation of the empty streets in which the dry dust rose in whirls in
front of us behind us flew upon us from the side streets The masks had gone
home and our footsteps echoed on the flagstones with unequal sound as of men
without purpose without hope
»I suppose you will come« said Mills suddenly
»I really dont know« I said
»Dont you Well remember I am not trying to persuade you but I am staying
at the Hôtel de Louvre and I shall leave there at a quarter to twelve for that
lunch At a quarter to twelve not a minute later I suppose you can sleep«
I laughed
»Charming age yours« said Mills as we came out on the quays Already dim
figures of the workers moved in the biting dawn and the masted forms of ships
were coming out dimly as far as the eye could reach down the old harbour
»Well« Mills began again »you may oversleep yourself«
This suggestion was made in a cheerful tone just as we shook hands at the
lower end of the Cannebière He looked very burly as he walked away from me I
went on towards my lodgings My head was very full of confused images but I was
really too tired to think
Part Two
I
Sometimes I wonder yet whether Mills wished me to oversleep myself or not that
is whether he really took sufficient interest to care His uniform kindliness
of manner made it impossible for me to tell And I can hardly remember my own
feelings Did I care The whole recollection of that time of my life has such a
peculiar quality that the beginning and the end of it are merged in one
sensation of profound emotion continuous and overpowering containing the
extremes of exultation full of careless joy and of an invincible sadness like
a daydream The sense of all this having been gone through as if in one great
rush of imagination is all the stronger in the distance of time because it had
something of that quality even then of fate unprovoked of events that didnt
cast any shadow before
Not that those events were in the least extraordinary They were in truth
commonplace What to my backward glance seems startling and a little awful is
their punctualness and inevitability Mills was punctual Exactly at a quarter
to twelve he appeared under the lofty portal of the Hôtel de Louvre with his
fresh face his illfitting grey suit and enveloped in his own sympathetic
atmosphere
How could I have avoided him To this day I have a shadowy conviction of his
inherent distinction of mind and heart far beyond any man I have ever met
since He was unavoidable and of course I never tried to avoid him The first
sight on which his eyes fell was a victoria pulled up before the hotel door in
which I sat with no sentiment I can remember now but that of some slight
shyness He got in without a moments hesitation his friendly glance took me in
from head to foot and such was his peculiar gift gave me a pleasurable
sensation
After we had gone a little way I couldnt help saying to him with a bashful
laugh »You know it seems very extraordinary that I should be driving out with
you like this«
He turned to look at me and in his kind voice
»You will find everything extremely simple« he said »So simple that you
will be quite able to hold your own I suppose you know that the world is
selfish I mean the majority of the people in it often unconsciously I must
admit and especially people with a mission with a fixed idea with some
fantastic object in view or even with only some fantastic illusion That
doesnt mean that they have no scruples And I dont know that at this moment I
myself am not one of them«
»That of course I cant say« I retorted
»I havent seen her for years« he said »and in comparison with what she
was then she must be very grown up by now From what we heard from Mr Blunt she
had experiences which would have matured her more than they would teach her
There are of course people that are not teachable I dont know that she is one
of them But as to maturity thats quite another thing Capacity for suffering
is developed in every human being worthy of the name«
»Captain Blunt doesnt seem to be a very happy person« I said »He seems to
have a grudge against everybody People make him wince The things they do the
things they say He must be awfully mature«
Mills gave me a sidelong look It met mine of the same character and we both
smiled without openly looking at each other At the end of the Rue de Rome the
violent chilly breath of the mistral enveloped the victoria in a great widening
of brilliant sunshine without heat We turned to the right circling at a
stately pace about the rather mean obelisk which stands at the entrance to the
Prado
»I dont know whether you are mature or not« said Mills humorously »But I
think you will do You «
»Tell me« I interrupted »what is really Captain Blunts position there«
And I nodded at the alley of the Prado opening before us between the rows of
the perfectly leafless trees
»Thoroughly false I should think It doesnt accord either with his
illusions or his pretensions or even with the real position he has in the
world And so what between his mother and the General Headquarters and the state
of his own feelings he «
»He is in love with her« I interrupted again
»That wouldnt make it any easier Im not at all sure of that But if so it
cant be a very idealistic sentiment All the warmth of his idealism is
concentrated upon a certain Américain Catholique et gentilhomme «
The smile which for a moment dwelt on his lips was not unkind
»At the same time he has a very good grip of the material conditions that
surround as it were the situation«
»What do you mean That Doña Rita« the name came strangely familiar to my
tongue »is rich that she has a fortune of her own«
»Yes a fortune« said Mills »But it was Allègres fortune before And
then there is Blunts fortune he lives by his sword And there is the fortune
of his mother I assure you a perfectly charming clever and most aristocratic
old lady with the most distinguished connections I really mean it She doesnt
live by her sword She she lives by her wits I have a notion that those two
dislike each other heartily at times Here we are«
The victoria stopped in the side alley bordered by the low walls of private
grounds We got out before a wroughtiron gateway which stood half open and
walked up a circular drive to the door of a large villa of a neglected
appearance The mistral howled in the sunshine shaking the bare bushes quite
furiously And everything was bright and hard the air was hard the light was
hard the ground under our feet was hard
The door at which Mills rang came open almost at once The maid who opened
it was short dark and slightly pockmarked For the rest an obvious
femmedechambre and very busy She said quickly »Madame has just returned
from her ride« and went up the stairs leaving us to shut the front door
ourselves
The staircase had a crimson carpet Mr Blunt appeared from somewhere in the
hall He was in riding breeches and a black coat with ample square skirts This
getup suited him but it also changed him extremely by doing away with the
effect of flexible slimness he produced in his evening clothes He looked to me
not at all himself but rather like a brother of the man who had been talking to
us the night before He carried about him a delicate perfume of scented soap He
gave us a flash of his white teeth and said
»Its a perfect nuisance We have just dismounted I will have to lunch as I
am A lifelong habit of beginning her day on horseback She pretends she is
unwell unless she does I daresay when one thinks there has been hardly a day
for five or six years that she didnt begin with a ride Thats the reason she
is always rushing away from Paris where she cant go out in the morning alone
Here of course its different And as I too am a stranger here I can go out
with her Not that I particularly care to do it«
These last words were addressed to Mills specially with the addition of a
mumbled remark »Its a confounded position« Then calmly to me with a swift
smile »We have been talking of you this morning You are expected with
impatience«
»Thank you very much« I said »but I cant help asking myself what I am
doing here«
The upward cast in the eyes of Mills who was facing the staircase made us
both Blunt and I turn round The woman of whom I had heard so much in a sort
of way in which I had never heard a woman spoken of before was coming down the
stairs and my first sensation was that of profound astonishment at this
evidence that she did really exist And even then the visual impression was more
of colour in a picture than of the forms of actual life She was wearing a
wrapper a sort of dressinggown of pale blue silk embroidered with black and
gold designs round the neck and down the front lapped round her and held
together by a broad belt of the same material Her slippers were of the same
colour with black bows at the instep The white stairs the deep crimson of the
carpet and the light blue of the dress made an effective combination of colour
to set off the delicate carnation of that face which after the first glance
given to the whole person drew irresistibly your gaze to itself by an
indefinable quality of charm beyond all analysis and made you think of remote
races of strange generations of the faces of women sculptured on immemorial
monuments and of those lying unsung in their tombs While she moved downwards
from step to step with slightly lowered eyes there flashed upon me suddenly the
recollection of words heard at night of Allègres words about her of there
being in her something of the women of all time
At the last step she raised her eyelids treated us to an exhibition of
teeth as dazzling as Mr Blunts and looking even stronger and indeed as she
approached us she brought home to our hearts but after all I am speaking only
for myself a vivid sense of her physical perfection in beauty of limb and
balance of nerves and not so much of grace probably as of absolute harmony
She said to us »I am sorry I kept you waiting« Her voice was low pitched
penetrating and of the most seductive gentleness She offered her hand to Mills
very frankly as to an old friend Within the extraordinarily wide sleeve lined
with black silk I could see the arm very white with a pearly gleam in the
shadow But to me she extended her hand with a slight stiffening as it were a
recoil of her person combined with an extremely straight glance It was a
finely shaped capable hand I bowed over it and we just touched fingers I did
not look then at her face
Next moment she caught sight of some envelopes lying on the round
marbletopped table in the middle of the hall She seized one of them with a
wonderfully quick almost feline movement and tore it open saying to us
»Excuse me I must Do go into the diningroom Captain Blunt show the way«
Her widened eyes stared at the paper Mr Blunt threw one of the doors open
but before we passed through it we heard a petulant exclamation accompanied by
childlike stamping with both feet and ending in a laugh which had in it a note
of contempt
The door closed behind us we had been abandoned by Mr Blunt He had
remained on the other side possibly to soothe The room in which we found
ourselves was long like a gallery and ended in a rotunda with many windows It
was long enough for two fireplaces of red polished granite A table laid out for
four occupied very little space The floor inlaid in two kinds of wood in a
bizarre pattern was highly waxed reflecting objects like still water
Before very long Doña Rita and Blunt rejoined us and we sat down around the
table but before we could begin to talk a dramatically sudden ring at the front
door stilled our incipient animation Doña Rita looked at us all in turn with
surprise and as it were with suspicion »How did he know I was here« she
whispered after looking at the card which was brought to her She passed it to
Blunt who passed it to Mills who made a faint grimace dropped it on the
tablecloth and only whispered to me »A journalist from Paris«
»He has run me to earth« said Doña Rita »One would bargain for peace
against hard cash if these fellows werent always ready to snatch at ones very
soul with the other hand It frightens me«
Her voice floated mysterious and penetrating from her lips which moved very
little Mills was watching her with sympathetic curiosity Mr Blunt muttered
»Better not make the brute angry« For a moment Doña Ritas face with its
narrow eyes its wide brow and high cheek bones became very still then her
colour was a little heightened »Oh« she said softly »let him come in He
would be really dangerous if he had a mind you know« she said to Mills
The person who had provoked all those remarks and as much hesitation as
though he had been some sort of wild beast astonished me on being admitted
first by the beauty of his white head of hair and then by his paternal aspect
and the innocent simplicity of his manner They laid a cover for him between
Mills and Doña Rita who quite openly removed the envelopes she had brought with
her to the other side of her plate As openly the mans round chinablue eyes
followed them in an attempt to make out the handwriting of the addresses
He seemed to know at least slightly both Mills and Blunt To me he gave a
stare of stupid surprise He addressed our hostess
»Resting Rest is a very good thing Upon my word I thought I would find
you alone But you have too much sense Neither man nor woman has been created
to live alone « After this opening he had all the talk to himself It was
left to him pointedly and I verily believe that I was the only one who showed
an appearance of interest I couldnt help it The others including Mills sat
like a lot of deaf and dumb people No It was even something more detached
They sat rather like a very superior lot of waxworks with the fixed but
indetermined facial expression and with that odd air wax figures have of being
aware of their existence being but a sham
I was the exception and nothing could have marked better my status of a
stranger the completest possible stranger in the moral region in which those
people lived moved enjoying or suffering their incomprehensible emotions I
was as much of a stranger as the most hopeless castaway stumbling in the dark
upon a hut of natives and finding them in the grip of some situation
appertaining to the mentalities prejudices and problems of an undiscovered
country of a country of which he had not even had one single clear glimpse
before
It was even worse in a way It ought to have been more disconcerting For
pursuing the image of the castaway blundering upon the complications of an
unknown scheme of life it was I the castaway who was the savage the simple
innocent child of nature Those people were obviously more civilized than I was
They had more rites more ceremonies more complexity in their sensations more
knowledge of evil more varied meanings to the subtle phrases of their language
Naturally I was still so young And yet I assure you that just then I lost all
sense of inferiority And why Of course the carelessness and the ignorance of
youth had something to do with that But there was something else besides
Looking at Doña Rita her head leaning on her hand with her dark lashes lowered
on the slightly flushed cheek I felt no longer alone in my youth That woman of
whom I had heard these things I have set down with all the exactness of
unfailing memory that woman was revealed to me young younger than anybody I
had ever seen as young as myself and my sensation of my youth was then very
acute revealed with something peculiarly intimate in the conviction as if she
were young exactly in the same way in which I felt myself young and that
therefore no misunderstanding between us was possible and there could be nothing
more for us to know about each other Of course this sensation was momentary
but it was illuminating it was a light which could not last but it left no
darkness behind On the contrary it seemed to have kindled magically somewhere
within me a glow of assurance of unaccountable confidence in myself a warm
steady and eager sensation of my individual life beginning for good there on
that spot in that sense of solidarity in that seduction
II
For this properly speaking wonderful reason I was the only one of the company
who could listen without constraint to the unbidden guest with that fine head of
white hair so beautifully kept so magnificently waved so artistically
arranged that respect could not be felt for it any more than for a very
expensive wig in the window of a hairdresser In fact I had an inclination to
smile at it This proves how unconstrained I felt My mind was perfectly at
liberty and so of all the eyes in that room mine was the only pair able to look
about in easy freedom All the other listeners eyes were cast down including
Mills eyes but that I am sure was only because of his perfect and delicate
sympathy He could not have been concerned otherwise
The intruder devoured the cutlets if they were cutlets Notwithstanding my
perfect liberty of mind I was not aware of what we were eating I have a notion
that the lunch was a mere show except of course for the man with the white
hair who was really hungry and who besides must have had the pleasant sense
of dominating the situation He stooped over his plate and worked his jaw
deliberately while his blue eyes rolled incessantly but as a matter of fact he
never looked openly at any one of us Whenever he laid down his knife and fork
he would throw himself back and start retailing in a light tone some Parisian
gossip about prominent people
He talked first about a certain politician of mark His dear Rita knew him
His costume dated back to 48 he was made of wood and parchment and still
swathed his neck in a white cloth and even his wife had never been seen in a
lownecked dress Not once in her life She was buttoned up to the chin like her
husband Well that man had confessed to him that when he was engaged in
political controversy not on a matter of principle but on some special measure
in debate he felt ready to kill everybody
He interrupted himself for a comment »I am something like that myself I
believe its a purely professional feeling Carry ones point whatever it is
Normally I couldnt kill a fly My sensibility is too acute for that My heart
is too tender also Much too tender I am a Republican I am a Red As to all
our present masters and governors all those people you are trying to turn round
your little finger they are all horrible Royalists in disguise They are
plotting the ruin of all the institutions to which I am devoted But I have
never tried to spoil your little game Rita After all its but a little game
You know very well that two or three fearless articles something in my style
you know would soon put a stop to all that underhand backing of your king I am
calling him king because I want to be polite to you He is an adventurer a
bloodthirsty murderous adventurer for me and nothing else Look here my
dear child what are you knocking yourself about for For the sake of that
bandit Allons donc A pupil of Henry Allègre can have no illusions of that sort
about any man And such a pupil too Ah the good old days in the Pavilion
Dont think I claim any particular intimacy It was just enough to enable me to
offer my services to you Rita when our poor friend died I found myself handy
and so I came It so happened that I was the first You remember Rita What
made it possible for everybody to get on with our poor dear Allègre was his
complete equable and impartial contempt for all mankind There is nothing in
that against the purest democratic principles but that you Rita should elect
to throw so much of your life away for the sake of a Royal adventurer it really
knocks me over For you dont love him You never loved him you know«
He made a snatch at her hand absolutely pulled it away from under her head
it was quite startling and retaining it in his grasp proceeded to a paternal
patting of the most impudent kind She let him go on with apparent
insensibility Meanwhile his eyes strayed round the table over our faces It was
very trying The stupidity of that wandering stare had a paralyzing power He
talked at large with husky familiarity
»Here I come expecting to find a good sensible girl who had seen at last
the vanity of all those things halflight in the rooms surrounded by the works
of her favourite poets and all that sort of thing I say to myself I must just
run in and see the dear wise child and encourage her in her good resolutions
And I fall into the middle of an intime lunchparty For I suppose it is
intime Eh Very Hm yes «
He was really appalling Again his wondering stare went round the table
with an expression incredibly incongruous with the words It was as though he
had borrowed those eyes from some idiot for the purpose of that visit He still
held Doña Ritas hand and now and then patted it
»Its discouraging« he cooed »And I believe not one of you here is a
Frenchman I dont know what you are all about Its beyond me But if we were a
Republic you know I am an old Jacobin sansculotte and terrorist if this
were a real Republic with the Convention sitting and a Committee of Public
Safety attending to national business you would all get your heads cut off Ha
ha I am joking ha ha and serve you right too Dont mind my little
joke«
While he was still laughing he released her hand and she leaned her head on
it again without haste She had never looked at him once
During the rather humiliating silence that ensued he got a leather cigar
case like a small valise out of his pocket opened it and looked with critical
interest at the six cigars it contained The tireless femmedechambre set down
a tray with coffee cups on the table We each glad I suppose of something to
do took one but he to begin with sniffed at his Doña Rita continued leaning
on her elbow her lips closed in a reposeful expression of peculiar sweetness
There was nothing drooping in her attitude Her face with the delicate carnation
of a rose and downcast eyes was as if veiled in firm immobility and was so
appealing that I had an insane impulse to walk round and kiss the forearm on
which it was leaning that strong wellshaped forearm gleaming not like marble
but with a living and warm splendour So familiar had I become already with her
in my thoughts Of course I didnt do anything of the sort It was nothing
uncontrollable it was but a tender longing of a most respectful and purely
sentimental kind I performed the act in my thought quietly almost solemnly
while the creature with the silver hair leaned back in his chair puffing at his
cigar and began to speak again
It was all apparently very innocent talk He informed his dear Rita that he
was really on his way to Monte Carlo A lifelong habit of his at this time of
the year but he was ready to run back to Paris if he could do anything for his
chère enfant run back for a day for two days for three days for any time
miss Monte Carlo this year altogether if he could be of the slightest use and
save her going herself For instance he could see to it that proper watch was
kept over the Pavilion stuffed with all these art treasures What was going to
happen to all those things Making herself heard for the first time Doña
Rita murmured without moving that she had made arrangements with the police to
have it properly watched And I was enchanted by the almost imperceptible play
of her lips
But the anxious creature was not reassured He pointed out that things had
been stolen out of the Louvre which was he dared say even better watched And
there was that marvellous cabinet on the landing black lacquer with silver
herons which alone would repay a couple of burglars A wheelbarrow some old
sacking and they could trundle it off under peoples noses
»Have you thought it all out« she asked in a cold whisper while we three
sat smoking to give ourselves a countenance it was certainly no enjoyment and
wondering what we would hear next
No he had not But he confessed that for years and years he had been in
love with that cabinet And anyhow what was going to happen to the things The
world was greatly exercised by that problem He turned slightly his beautifully
groomed white head so as to address Mr Blunt directly
»I had the pleasure of meeting your mother lately«
Mr Blunt took his time to raise his eyebrows and flash his teeth at him
before he dropped negligently »I cant imagine where you could have met my
mother«
»Why at Bings the curiodealer« said the other with an air of the
heaviest possible stupidity And yet there was something in these few words
which seemed to imply that if Mr Blunt was looking for trouble he would
certainly get it »Bing was bowing her out of his shop but he was so angry
about something that he was quite rude even to me afterwards I dont think its
very good for Madame votre mère to quarrel with Bing He is a Parisian
personality Hes quite a power in his sphere All these fellows nerves are
upset from worry as to what will happen to the Allègre collection And no wonder
they are nervous A big art event hangs on your lips my dear great Rita And
by the way you too ought to remember that it isnt wise to quarrel with people
What have you done to that poor Azzolati Did you really tell him to get out and
never come near you again or something awful like that I dont doubt that he
was of use to you or to your king A man who gets invitations to shoot with the
President at Rambouillet I saw him only the other evening I heard he had been
winning immensely at cards but he looked perfectly wretched the poor fellow
He complained of your conduct oh very much He told me you had been perfectly
brutal with him He said to me I am no good for anything mon cher The other
day at Rambouillet whenever I had a bare at the end of my gun I would think of
her cruel words and my eyes would run full of tears I missed every shot You
are not fit for diplomatic work you know ma chère You are a mere child at it
When you want a middleaged gentleman to do anything for you you dont begin by
reducing him to tears I should have thought any woman would have known that
much A nun would have known that much What do you say Shall I run back to
Paris and make it up for you with Azzolati«
He waited for her answer The compression of his thin lips was full of
significance I was surprised to see our hostess shake her head negatively the
least bit for indeed by her pose by the thoughtful immobility of her face she
seemed to be a thousand miles away from us all lost in an infinite reverie
He gave it up »Well I must be off The express for Nice passes at four
oclock I will be away about three weeks and then you shall see me again
Unless I strike a run of bad luck and get cleaned out in which case you shall
see me before then«
He turned to Mills suddenly
»Will your cousin come south this year to that beautiful villa of his at
Cannes«
Mills hardly deigned to answer that he didnt know anything about his
cousins movements
»A grand seigneur combined with a great connoisseur« opined the other
heavily His mouth had gone slack and he looked a perfect and grotesque imbecile
under his wiglike crop of white hair Positively I thought he would begin to
slobber But he attacked Blunt next
»Are you on your way down too A little flutter It seems to me you
havent been seen in your usual Paris haunts of late Where have you been all
this time«
»Dont you know where I have been« said Mr Blunt with great precision
»No I only ferret out things that may be of some use to me« was the
unexpected reply uttered with an air of perfect vacancy and swallowed by Mr
Blunt in blank silence
At last he made ready to rise from the table »Think over what I have said
my dear Rita«
»Its all over and done with« was Doña Ritas answer in a louder tone than
I had ever heard her use before It thrilled me while she continued »I mean
this thinking« She was back from the remoteness of her meditation very much so
indeed She rose and moved away from the table inviting by a sign the other to
follow her which he did at once yet slowly and as it were warily
It was a conference in the recess of a window We three remained seated
round the table from which the dark maid was removing the cups and the plates
with brusque movements I gazed frankly at Doña Ritas profile irregular
animated and fascinating in an undefinable way at her wellshaped head with
the hair twisted high up and apparently held in its place by a gold arrow with a
jewelled shaft We couldnt hear what she said but the movement of her lips and
the play of her features were full of charm full of interest expressing both
audacity and gentleness She spoke with fire without raising her voice The man
listened roundshouldered but seeming much too stupid to understand I could
see now and then that he was speaking but he was inaudible At one moment Doña
Rita turned her head to the room and called out to the maid »Give me my
handbag off the sofa«
At this the other was heard plainly »No no« and then a little lower »You
have no tact Rita « Then came her argument in a low penetrating voice
which I caught »Why not Between such old friends« However she waved away the
handbag he calmed down and their voices sank again Presently I saw him raise
her hand to his lips while with her back to the room she continued to
contemplate out of the window the bare and untidy garden At last he went out of
the room throwing to the table an airy Bonjour bonjour which was not
acknowledged by any of us three
III
Mills got up and approached the figure at the window To my extreme surprise
Mr Blunt after a moment of obviously painful hesitation hastened out after
the man with the white hair
In consequence of these movements I was left to myself and I began to be
uncomfortably conscious of it when Doña Rita near the window addressed me in a
raised voice
»We have no confidences to exchange Mr Mills and I«
I took this for an encouragement to Join them They were both looking at me
Doña Rita added »Mr Mills and I are friends from old times you know«
Bathed in the softened reflection of the sunshine which did not fall
directly into the room standing very straight with her arms down before Mills
and with a faint smile directed to me she looked extremely young and yet
mature There was even for a moment a slight dimple in her cheek
»How old I wonder« I said with an answering smile »Oh for ages for
ages« she exclaimed hastily frowning a little then she went on addressing
herself to Mills apparently in continuation of what she was saying before
»This mans is an extreme case and yet perhaps it isnt the worst But thats
the sort of thing I have no account to render to anybody but I dont want to
be dragged along all the gutters where that man picks up his living«
She had thrown her head back a little but there was no scorn no angry flash
under the darklashed eyelids The words did not ring I was struck for the
first time by the even mysterious quality of her voice
»Will you let me suggest« said Mills with a grave kindly face »that
being what you are you have nothing to fear«
»And perhaps nothing to lose« she went on without bitterness »No It isnt
fear Its a sort of dread You must remember that no nun could have had a more
protected life Henry Allègre had his greatness When he faced the world he also
masked it He was big enough for that He filled the whole field of vision for
me«
»You found that enough« asked Mills
»Why ask now« she remonstrated »The truth the truth is that I never
asked myself Enough or not there was no room for anything else He was the
shadow and the light and the form and the voice He would have it so The
morning he died they came to call me at four oclock I ran into his room
barefooted He recognized me and whispered You are flawless I was very
frightened He seemed to think and then said very plainly Such is my
character I am like that These were the last words he spoke I hardly noticed
them then I was thinking that he was lying in a very uncomfortable position and
I asked him if I should lift him up a little higher on the pillows You know I
am very strong I could have done it I had done it before He raised his hand
off the blanket just enough to make a sign that he didnt want to be touched It
was the last gesture he made I hung over him and then and then I nearly ran
out of the house just as I was in my nightgown I think if I had been dressed I
would have run out of the garden into the street run away altogether I had
never seen death I may say I had never heard of it I wanted to run from it«
She paused for a long quiet breath The harmonized sweetness and daring of
her face was made pathetic by her downcast eyes
»Fuir la mort« she repeated meditatively in her mysterious voice
Mills big head had a little movement nothing more Her glance glided for a
moment towards me like a friendly recognition of my right to be there before
she began again
»My life might have been described as looking at mankind from a fourthfloor
window for years When the end came it was like falling out of a balcony into
the street It was as sudden as that Once I remember somebody was telling us in
the Pavilion a tale about a girl who jumped down from a fourthfloor window
For love I believe« she interjected very quickly »and came to no harm Her
guardian angel must have slipped his wings under her just in time He must have
But as to me all I know is that I didnt break anything not even my heart
Dont be shocked Mr Mills Its very likely that you dont understand«
»Very likely« Mills assented unmoved »But dont be too sure of that«
»Henry Allègre had the highest opinion of your intelligence« she said
unexpectedly and with evident seriousness »But all this is only to tell you
that when he was gone I found myself down there unhurt but dazed bewildered
not sufficiently stunned It so happened that that creature was somewhere in the
neighbourhood How he found out But its his business to find out things
And he knows too how to worm his way in anywhere Indeed in the first days he
was useful and somehow he made it look as if Heaven itself had sent him In my
distress I thought I could never sufficiently repay Well I have been
paying ever since«
»What do you mean« asked Mills softly »In hard cash«
»Oh its really so little« she said »I told you it wasnt the worst case
I stayed on in that house from which I nearly ran away in my nightgown I stayed
on because I didnt know what to do next He vanished as he had come on the
track of something else I suppose You know he really has got to get his living
some way or other But dont think I was deserted On the contrary People were
coming and going all sorts of people that Henry Allègre used to know or had
refused to know I had a sensation of plotting and intriguing around me all the
time I was feeling morally bruised sore all over when one day Don Rafael de
Villarel sent in his card A grandee I didnt know him but as you are aware
there was hardly a personality of mark or position that hasnt been talked about
in the Pavilion before me Of him I had only heard that he was a very austere
and pious person always at Mass and that sort of thing I saw a frail little
man with a long yellow face and sunken fanatical eyes an Inquisitor an
unfrocked monk One missed a rosary from his thin fingers He gazed at me
terribly and I couldnt imagine what he might want I waited for him to pull out
a crucifix and sentence me to the stake there and then But no he dropped his
eyes and in a cold righteous sort of voice informed me that he had called on
behalf of the prince he called him His Majesty I was amazed by the change I
wondered now why he didnt slip his hands into the sleeves of his coat you
know as begging Friars do when they come for a subscription He explained that
the Prince asked for permission to call and offer me his condolences in person
We had seen a lot of him our last two months in Paris that year Henry Allègre
had taken a fancy to paint his portrait He used to ride with us nearly every
morning Almost without thinking I said I should be pleased Don Rafael was
shocked at my want of formality but bowed to me in silence very much as a monk
bows from the waist If he had only crossed his hands flat on his chest it
would have been perfect Then I dont know why something moved me to make him
a deep curtsy as he backed out of the room leaving me suddenly impressed not
only with him but with myself too I had my door closed to everybody else that
afternoon and the Prince came with a very proper sorrowful face but five
minutes after he got into the room he was laughing as usual made the whole
little house ring with it You know his big irresistible laugh «
»No« said Mills a little abruptly »I have never seen him«
»No« she said surprised »and yet you «
»I understand« interrupted Mills »All this is purely accidental You must
know that I am a solitary man of books but with a secret taste for adventure
which somehow came out surprising even me«
She listened with that enigmatic still under the eyelids glance and a
friendly turn of the head
»I know you for a frank and loyal gentleman Adventure and books Ah
the books Havent I turned stacks of them over Havent I «
»Yes« murmured Mills »Thats what one does«
She put out her hand and laid it lightly on Mills sleeve
»Listen I dont need to justify myself but if I had known a single woman
in the world if I had only had the opportunity to observe a single one of them
I would have been perhaps on my guard But you know I hadnt The only woman I
had anything to do with was myself and they say that one cant know oneself It
never entered my head to be on my guard against his warmth and his terrible
obviousness You and he were the only two infinitely different people who
didnt approach me as if I had been a precious object in a collection an ivory
carving or a piece of Chinese porcelain Thats why I have kept you in my memory
so well Oh you were not obvious As to him I soon learned to regret I was
not some object some beautiful carved object of bone or bronze a rare piece
of porcelain pâte dure not pâte tendre A pretty specimen«
»Rare yes Even unique« said Mills looking at her steadily with a smile
»But dont try to depreciate yourself You were never pretty You are not
pretty You are worse«
Her narrow eyes had a mischievous gleam »Do you find such sayings in your
books« she asked
»As a matter of fact I have« said Mills with a little laugh »found this
one in a book It was a woman who said that of herself A woman far from common
who died some few years ago She was an actress A great artist«
»A great Lucky person She had that refuge that garment while I stand
here with nothing to protect me from evil fame a naked temperament for any wind
to blow upon Yes greatness in art is a protection I wonder if there would
have been anything in me if I had tried But Henry Allègre would never let me
try He told me that whatever I could achieve would never be good enough for
what I was The perfection of flattery Was it that he thought I had not talent
of any sort Its possible He would know Ive had the idea since that he was
jealous He wasnt jealous of mankind any more than he was afraid of thieves for
his collection but he may have been jealous of what he could see in me of some
passion that could be aroused But if so he never repented I shall never forget
his last words He saw me standing beside his bed defenceless symbolic and
forlorn and all he found to say was Well I am like that«
I forgot myself in watching her I had never seen anybody speak with less
play of facial muscles In the fullness of its life her face preserved a sort of
immobility The words seemed to form themselves fiery or pathetic in the air
outside her lips Their design was hardly disturbed a design of sweetness
gravity and force as if born from the inspiration of some artist for I had
never seen anything to come up to it in nature before or since
All this was part of the enchantment she cast over me and I seemed to
notice that Mills had the aspect of a man under a spell If he too was a captive
then I had no reason to feel ashamed of my surrender
»And you know« she began again abruptly »that I have been accustomed to
all the forms of respect«
»Thats true« murmured Mills as if involuntarily
»Well yes« she reaffirmed »My instinct may have told me that my only
protection was obscurity but I didnt know how and where to find it Oh yes I
had that instinct But there were other instincts and How am I to tell
you I didnt know how to be on guard against myself either Not a soul to
speak to or to get a warning from Some woman soul that would have known in
which perhaps I could have seen my own reflection I assure you the only woman
that ever addressed me directly and that was in writing was «
She glanced aside saw Mr Blunt returning from the hall and added rapidly
in a lowered voice »His mother«
The bright mechanical smile of Mr Blunt gleamed at us right down the room
but he didnt as it were follow it in his body He swerved to the nearest of
the two big fireplaces and finding some cigarettes on the mantelpiece remained
leaning on his elbow in the warmth of the bright wood fire I noticed then a bit
of mute play The heiress of Henry Allègre who could secure neither obscurity
nor any other alleviation to that invidious position looked as if she would
speak to Blunt from a distance but in a moment the confident eagerness of her
face died out as if killed by a sudden thought I didnt know then her shrinking
from all falsehood and evasion her dread of insincerity and disloyalty of every
kind But even then I felt that at the very last moment her being had recoiled
before some shadow of a suspicion And it occurred to me too to wonder what
sort of business Mr Blunt could have had to transact with our odious visitor
of a nature so urgent as to make him run out after him into the hall Unless to
beat him a little with one of the sticks that were to be found there White hair
so much like an expensive wig could not be considered a serious protection But
it couldnt have been that The transaction whatever it was had been much too
quiet I must say that none of us had looked out of the window and that I didnt
know when the man did go or if he was gone at all As a matter of fact he was
already far away and I may just as well say here that I never saw him again in
my life His passage across my field of vision was like that of other figures of
that time not to be forgotten a little fantastic infinitely enlightening for
my contempt darkening for my memory which struggles still with the clear lights
and the ugly shadows of those unforgotten days
IV
It was past four oclock before I left the house together with Mills Mr
Blunt still in his riding costume escorted us to the very door He asked us to
send him the first fiacre we met on our way to town »Its impossible to walk in
this getup through the streets« he remarked with his brilliant smile
At this point I propose to transcribe some notes I made at the time in
little black books which I have hunted up in the litter of the past very cheap
common little notebooks that by the lapse of years have acquired a touching
dimness of aspect the frayed wornout dignity of documents
Expression on paper has never been my forte My life had been a thing of
outward manifestations I never had been secret or even systematically taciturn
about my simple occupations which might have been foolish but had never required
either caution or mystery But in those four hours since midday a complete
change had come over me For good or evil I left that house committed to an
enterprise that could not be talked about which would have appeared to many
senseless and perhaps ridiculous but was certainly full of risks and apart
from that commanded discretion on the ground of simple loyalty It would not
only close my lips but it would to a certain extent cut me off from my usual
haunts and from the society of my friends especially of the lighthearted
young harumscarum kind This was unavoidable It was because I felt myself
thrown back upon my own thoughts and forbidden to seek relief amongst other
lives it was perhaps only for that reason at first that I started an
irregular fragmentary record of my days
I made these notes not so much to preserve the memory one cared not for any
tomorrow then but to help me to keep a better hold of the actuality I
scribbled them on shore and I scribbled them on the sea and in both cases they
are concerned not only with the nature of the facts but with the intensity of my
sensations It may be too that I learned to love the sea for itself only at
that time Woman and the sea revealed themselves to me together as it were two
mistresses of lifes values The illimitable greatness of the one the
unfathomable seduction of the other working their immemorial spells from
generation to generation fell upon my heart at last a common fortune an
unforgettable memory of the seas formless might and of the sovereign charm in
that womans form wherein there seemed to beat the pulse of divinity rather than
blood
I begin here with the notes written at the end of that very day
Parted with Mills on the quay We had walked side by side in absolute
silence The fact is he is too old for me to talk to him freely For all his
sympathy and seriousness I dont know what note to strike and I am not at all
certain what he thinks of all this As we shook hands at parting I asked him
how much longer he expected to stay And he answered me that it depended on R
She was making arrangements for him to cross the frontier He wanted to see the
very ground on which the Principle of Legitimacy was actually asserting itself
arms in hand It sounded to my positive mind the most fantastic thing in the
world this elimination of personalities from what seemed but the merest
political dynastic adventure So it wasnt Doña Rita it wasnt Blunt it
wasnt the Pretender with his big infectious laugh it wasnt all that lot of
politicians archbishops and generals of monks guerrilleros and smugglers by
sea and land of dubious agents and shady speculators and undoubted swindlers
who were pushing their fortunes at the risk of their precious skins No It was
the Legitimist Principle asserting itself Well I would accept the view but
with one reservation All the others might have been merged into the idea but
I the latest recruit I would not be merged in the Legitimist Principle Mine
was an act of independent assertion Never before had I felt so intensely aware
of my personality But I said nothing of that to Mills I only told him I
thought we had better not be seen very often together in the streets He agreed
Hearty handshake Looked affectionately after his broad back It never occurred
to him to turn his head What was I in comparison with the Principle of
Legitimacy
Late that night I went in search of Dominic That Mediterranean sailor was
just the man I wanted He had a great experience of all unlawful things that can
be done on the seas and he brought to the practice of them much wisdom and
audacity That I didnt know where he lived was nothing since I knew where he
loved The proprietor of a small quiet café on the quay a certain Madame
Léonore a woman of thirtyfive with an open Roman face and intelligent black
eyes had captivated his heart years ago In that café with our heads close
together over a marble table Dominic and I held an earnest and endless
confabulation while Madame Léonore rustling a black silk skirt with gold
earrings with her raven hair elaborately dressed and something nonchalant in
her movements would take occasion in passing to and fro to rest her hand for
a moment on Dominics shoulder Later when the little café had emptied itself of
its habitual customers mostly people connected with the work of ships and
cargoes she came quietly to sit at our table and looking at me very hard with
her black sparkling eyes asked Dominic familiarly what had happened to his
Signorino It was her name for me I was Dominics Signorino She knew me by no
other and our connection has always been somewhat a riddle to her She said
that I was somehow changed since she saw me last In her rich voice she urged
Dominic only to look at my eyes I must have had some piece of luck come to me
either in love or at cards she bantered But Dominic answered half in scorn
that I was not of the sort that runs after that kind of luck He stated
generally that there were some young gentlemen very clever in inventing new ways
of getting rid of their time and their money However if they needed a sensible
man to help them he had no objection himself to lend a hand Dominics general
scorn for the beliefs and activities and abilities of upperclass people
covered the Principle of Legitimacy amply but he could not resist the
opportunity to exercise his special faculties in a field he knew of old He had
been a desperate smuggler in his younger days We settled the purchase of a fast
sailing craft Agreed that it must be a balancelle and something altogether out
of the common He knew of one suitable but she was in Corsica Offered to start
for Bastia by mailboat in the morning All the time the handsome and mature
Madame Léonore sat by smiling faintly amused at her great man joining like
this in a frolic of boys She said the last words of that evening »You men
never grow up« touching lightly the grey hair above his temple
A fortnight later
In the afternoon to the Prado Beautiful day At the moment of ringing
at the door a strong emotion of an anxious kind Why Down the length of the
diningroom in the rotunda part full of afternoon light Doña R sitting
crosslegged on the divan in the attitude of a very old idol or a very young
child and surrounded by many cushions waves her hand from afar pleasantly
surprised exclaiming »What Back already« I give her all the details and we
talk for two hours across a large brass bowl containing a little water placed
between us lighting cigarettes and dropping them innumerable puffed at yet
untasted in the overwhelming interest of the conversation Found her very quick
in taking the points and very intelligent in her suggestions All formality soon
vanished between us and before very long I discovered myself sitting
crosslegged too while I held forth on the qualities of different
Mediterranean sailing craft and on the romantic qualifications of Dominic for
the task I believe I gave her the whole history of the man mentioning even the
existence of Madame Léonore since the little café would have to be the
headquarters of the marine part of the plot
She murmured »Ah Une belle Romaine« thoughtfully She told me that she
liked to hear people of that sort spoken of in terms of our common humanity She
observed also that she wished to see Dominic some day to set her eyes for once
on a man who could be absolutely depended on She wanted to know whether he had
engaged himself in this adventure solely for my sake
I said that no doubt it was partly that We had been very close associates
in the West Indies from where we had returned together and he had a notion that
I could be depended on too But mainly I suppose it was from taste And there
was in him also a fine carelessness as to what he did and a love of venturesome
enterprise
»And you« she said »Is it carelessness too«
»In a measure« I said »Within limits«
»And very soon you will get tired«
»When I do I will tell you But I may also get frightened I suppose you
know there are risks I mean apart from the risk of life«
»As for instance« she said
»For instance being captured tried and sentenced to what they call the
galleys in Ceuta«
»And all this from that love for «
»Not for Legitimacy« I interrupted the inquiry lightly »But whats the use
asking such questions Its like asking the veiled figure of fate It doesnt
know its own mind nor its own heart It has no heart But what if I were to
start asking you who have a heart and are not veiled to my sight« She dropped
her charming adolescent head so firm in modelling so gentle in expression Her
uncovered neck was round like the shaft of a column She wore the same wrapper
of thick blue silk At that time she seemed to live either in her riding habit
or in that wrapper folded tightly round her and open low to a point in front
Because of the absence of all trimming round the neck and from the deep view of
her bare arms in the wide sleeve this garment seemed to be put directly on her
skin and gave one the impression of ones nearness to her body which would have
been troubling but for the perfect unconsciousness of her manner That day she
carried no barbarous arrow in her hair It was parted on one side brushed back
severely and tied with a black ribbon without any bronze mist about her
forehead or temple This smoothness added to the many varieties of her
expression also that of childlike innocence
Great progress in our intimacy brought about unconsciously by our
enthusiastic interest in the matter of our discourse and in the moments of
silence by the sympathetic current of our thoughts And this rapidly growing
familiarity truly she had a terrible gift for it had all the varieties of
earnestness serious excited ardent and even gay She laughed in contralto
but her laugh was never very long and when it had ceased the silence of the
room with the light dying in all its many windows seemed to lie about me warmed
by its vibration
As I was preparing to take my leave after a longish pause into which we had
fallen as into a vague dream she came out of it with a start and a quiet sigh
She said »I had forgotten myself« I took her hand and was raising it
naturally without premeditation when I felt suddenly the arm to which it
belonged become insensible passive like a stuffed limb and the whole woman go
inanimate all over Brusquely I dropped the hand before it reached my lips and
it was so lifeless that it fell heavily on to the divan
I remained standing before her She raised to me not her eyes but her whole
face inquisitively perhaps in appeal
»No This isnt good enough for me« I said
The last of the light gleamed in her long enigmatic eyes as if they were
precious enamel in that shadowy head which in its immobility suggested a
creation of a distant past immortal art not transient life Her voice had a
profound quietness She excused herself
»Its only habit or instinct or what you like I have had to practice
that in selfdefence lest I should be tempted sometimes to cut the arm off«
I remembered the way she had abandoned this very arm and hand to the
whitehaired ruffian It rendered me gloomy and idiotically obstinate
»Very ingenious But this sort of thing is of no use to me« I declared
»Make it up« suggested her mysterious voice while her shadowy figure
remained unmoved indifferent amongst the cushions
I didnt stir either I refused in the same low tone
»No Not before you give it to me yourself some day«
»Yes some day« she repeated in a breath in which there was no irony but
rather hesitation reluctance what did I know
I walked away from the house in a curious state of gloomy satisfaction with
myself
And this is the last extract A month afterwards
This afternoon going up to the Villa I was for the first time accompanied
in my way by some misgivings Tomorrow I sail
First trip and therefore in the nature of a trial trip and I cant overcome
a certain gnawing emotion for it is a trip that mustnt fail In that sort of
enterprise there is no room for mistakes Of all the individuals engaged in it
will every one be intelligent enough faithful enough bold enough Looking upon
them as a whole it seems impossible but as each has got only a limited part to
play they may be found sufficient each for his particular trust And will they
be all punctual I wonder An enterprise that hangs on the punctuality of many
people no matter how well disposed and even heroic hangs on a thread This I
have perceived to be also the greatest of Dominics concerns He too wonders
And when he breathes his doubts the smile lurking under the dark curl of his
moustaches is not reassuring
But there is also something exciting in such speculations and the road to
the Villa seemed to me shorter than ever before
Let in by the silent everactive dark ladys maid who is always on the
spot and always on the way somewhere else opening the door with one hand while
she passes on turning on one for a moment her quick black eyes which just
miss being lustrous as if someone had breathed on them lightly
On entering the long room I perceive Mills established in an armchair which
he had dragged in front of the divan I do the same to another and there we sit
side by side facing R tenderly amiable yet somehow distant among her cushions
with an immemorial seriousness in her long shaded eyes and her fugitive smile
hovering about her never settling on her lips Mills who is just back from over
the frontier must have been asking R whether she had been worried again by her
devoted friend with the white hair At last I concluded so because I found them
talking of the heartbroken Azzolati And after having answered their greetings
I sit and listen to Rita addressing Mills earnestly
»No I assure you Azzolati had done nothing to me I knew him He was a
frequent visitor at the Pavilion though I personally never talked with him
very much in Henry Allègres lifetime Other men were more interesting and he
himself was rather reserved in his manner to me He was an international
politician and financier a nobody He like many others was admitted only to
feed and amuse Henry Allègres scorn of the world which was insatiable I tell
you«
»Yes« said Mills »I can imagine«
»But I know Often when we were alone Henry Allègre used to pour it into my
ears If ever anybody saw mankind stripped of its clothes as the child sees the
king in the German fairy tale its I Into my ears A childs Too young to die
of fright Certainly not old enough to understand or even to believe But then
his arm was about me I used to laugh sometimes Laugh At this destruction
at these ruins«
»Yes« said Mills very steady before her fire »But you have at your
service the everlasting charm of life you are a part of the indestructible«
»Am I But there is no arm about me now The laugh Where is my laugh
Give me back my laugh «
And she laughed a little on a low note I dont know about Mills but the
subdued shadowy vibration of it echoed in my breast which felt empty for a
moment and like a large space that makes one giddy
»The laugh is gone out of my heart which at any rate used to feel
protected That feelings gone too And I myself will have to die some day«
»Certainly« said Mills in an unaltered voice »As to this body you «
»Oh yes Thanks Its a very poor jest Change from body to body as
travellers used to change horses at post houses Ive heard of this before «
»Ive no doubt you have« Mills put on a submissive air »But are we to hear
any more about Azzolati«
»You shall Listen I had heard that he was invited to shoot at Rambouillet
a quiet party not one of these great shoots I hear a lot of things I wanted
to have a certain information also certain hints conveyed to a diplomatic
personage who was to be there too A personage that would never let me get in
touch with him though I had tried many times«
»Incredible« mocked Mills solemnly
»The personage mistrusts his own susceptibility Born cautious« explained
Doña Rita crisply with the slightest possible quiver of her lips »Suddenly I
had the inspiration to make use of Azzolati who had been reminding me by a
constant stream of messages that he was an old friend I never took any notice
of those pathetic appeals before But in this emergency I sat down and wrote a
note asking him to come and dine with me in my hotel I suppose you know I dont
live in the Pavilion I cant bear the Pavilion now When I have to go there I
begin to feel after an hour or so that it is haunted I seem to catch sight of
somebody I know behind columns passing through doorways vanishing here and
there I hear light footsteps behind closed doors My own«
Her eyes her halfparted lips remained fixed till Mills suggested softly
»Yes but Azzolati«
Her rigidity vanished like a flake of snow in the sunshine »Oh Azzolati
It was a most solemn affair It had occurred to me to make a very elaborate
toilet It was most successful Azzolati looked positively scared for a moment
as though he had got into the wrong suite of rooms He had never before seen me
en toilette you understand In the old days once out of my riding habit I would
never dress I draped myself you remember Monsieur Mills To go about like
that suited my indolence my longing to feel free in my body as at that time
when I used to herd goats But never mind My aim was to impress Azzolati I
wanted to talk to him seriously«
There was something whimsical in the quick beat of her eyelids and in the
subtle quiver of her lips »And behold the same notion had occurred to
Azzolati Imagine that for this têteàtête dinner the creature had got himself
up as if for a reception at court He displayed a brochette of all sorts of
decorations on the lapel of his frac and had a broad ribbon of some order across
his shirt front An orange ribbon Bavarian I should say Great Roman Catholic
Azzolati It was always his ambition to be the banker of all the Bourbons in the
world The last remnants of his hair were dyed jet black and the ends of his
moustache were like knitting needles He was disposed to be as soft as wax in my
hands Unfortunately I had had some irritating interviews during the day I was
keeping down sudden impulses to smash a glass throw a plate on the floor do
something violent to relieve my feelings His submissive attitude made me still
more nervous He was ready to do anything in the world for me providing that I
would promise him that he would never find my door shut against him as long as
he lived You understand the impudence of it dont you And his tone was
positively abject too I snapped back at him that I had no door that I was a
nomad He bowed ironically till his nose nearly touched his plate but begged me
to remember that to his personal knowledge I had four houses of my own about the
world And you know this made me feel a homeless outcast more than ever like a
little dog lost in the street not knowing where to go I was ready to cry and
there the creature sat in front of me with an imbecile smile as much as to say
here is a poser for you I gnashed my teeth at him Quietly you know I
suppose you two think that I am stupid«
She paused as if expecting an answer but we made no sound and she continued
with a remark
»I have days like that Often one must listen to false protestations empty
words strings of lies all day long so that in the evening one is not fit for
anything not even for truth if it comes in ones way That idiot treated me to
a piece of brazen sincerity which I couldnt stand First of all he began to
take me into his confidence he boasted of his great affairs then started
groaning about his overstrained life which left him no time for the amenities of
existence for beauty or sentiment or any sort of ease of heart His heart He
wanted me to sympathize with his sorrows Of course I ought to have listened
One must pay for service Only I was nervous and tired He bored me I told him
at last that I was surprised that a man of such immense wealth should still keep
on going like this reaching for more and more I suppose he must have been
sipping a good deal of wine while we talked and all at once he let out an
atrocity which was too much for me He had been moaning and sentimentalizing but
then suddenly he showed me his fangs No he cries you cant imagine what a
satisfaction it is to feel all that penniless beggarly lot of the dear honest
meritorious poor wriggling and slobbering under ones boots You may tell me
that he is a contemptible animal anyhow but you should have heard the tone I
felt my bare arms go cold like ice A moment before I had been hot and faint
with sheer boredom I jumped up from the table rang for Rose and told her to
bring me my fur cloak He remained in his chair leering at me curiously When I
had the fur on my shoulders and the girl had gone out of the room I gave him the
surprise of his life Take yourself off instantly I said Go trample on the
poor if you like but never dare speak to me again At this he leaned his head on
his arm and sat so long at the table shading his eyes with his hand that I had
to ask calmly you know whether he wanted me to have him turned out into the
corridor He fetched an enormous sigh I have only tried to be honest with you
Rita But by the time he got to the door he had regained some of his impudence
You know how to trample on a poor fellow too he said But I dont mind being
made to wriggle under your pretty shoes Rita I forgive you I thought you were
free from all vulgar sentimentalism and that you had a more independent mind I
was mistaken in you thats all With that he pretends to dash a tear from his
eye crocodile and goes out leaving me in my fur by the blazing fire my
teeth going like castanets Did you ever hear of anything so stupid as this
affair« she concluded in a tone of extreme candour and a profound unreadable
stare that went far beyond us both And the stillness of her lips was so perfect
directly she ceased speaking that I wondered whether all this had come through
them or only had formed itself in my mind
Presently she continued as if speaking for herself only
»Its like taking the lids off boxes and seeing ugly toads staring at you
In every one Every one Thats what it is having to do with men more than mere
Good morning Good evening And if you try to avoid meddling with their lids
some of them will take them off themselves And they dont even know they dont
even suspect what they are showing you Certain confidences they dont see it
are the bitterest kind of insult I suppose Azzolati imagines himself a noble
beast of prey Just as some others imagine themselves to be most delicate
noble and refined gentlemen And as likely as not they would trade on a womans
troubles and in the end make nothing of that either Idiots«
The utter absence of all anger in this spoken meditation gave it a character
of touching simplicity And as if it had been truly only a meditation we
conducted ourselves as though we had not heard it Mills began to speak of his
experiences during his visit to the army of the Legitimist King And I
discovered in his speeches that this man of books could be graphic and
picturesque His admiration for the devotion and bravery of the army was
combined with the greatest distaste for what he had seen of the way its great
qualities were misused In the conduct of this great enterprise he had seen a
deplorable levity of outlook a fatal lack of decision an absence of any
reasoned plan
He shook his head
»I feel that you of all people Doña Rita ought to be told the truth I
dont know exactly what you have at stake«
She was rosy like some impassive statue in a desert in the flush of the
dawn
»Not my heart« she said quietly »You must believe that«
»I do Perhaps it would have been better if you «
»No Monsieur le Philosophe It would not have been better Dont make that
serious face at me« she went on with tenderness in a playful note as if
tenderness had been her inheritance of all time and playfulness the very fibre
of her being »I suppose you think that a woman who has acted as I did and has
not staked her heart on it is How do you know to what the heart responds as
it beats from day to day«
»I wouldnt judge you What am I before the knowledge you were born to You
are as old as the world«
She accepted this with a smile I who was innocently watching them was
amazed to discover how much a fleeting thing like that could hold of seduction
without the help of any other feature and with that unchanging glance
»With me it is pun donor To my first independent friend«
»You were soon parted« ventured Mills while I sat still under a sense of
oppression
»Dont think for a moment that I have been scared off« she said »It is
they who are frightened I suppose you heard a lot of Headquarters gossip«
»Oh yes« Mills said meaningly »The fair and the dark are succeeding each
other like leaves blown in the wind dancing in and out I suppose you have
noticed that leaves blown in the wind have a look of happiness«
»Yes« she said »that sort of leaf is dead Then why shouldnt it look
happy And so I suppose there is no uneasiness no occasion for fears amongst
the responsibles«
»Upon the whole not Now and then a leaf seems as if it would stick There
is for instance Madame «
»Oh I dont want to know I understand it all I am as old as the world«
»Yes« said Mills thoughtfully »you are not a leaf you might have been a
tornado yourself«
»Upon my word« she said »there was a time that they thought I could carry
him off away from them all beyond them all Verily I am not very proud of
their fears There was nothing reckless there worthy of a great passion There
was nothing sad there worthy of a great tenderness«
»And is this the word of the Venetian riddle« asked Mills fixing her with
his keen eyes
»If it pleases you to think so Señor« she said indifferently The movement
of her eyes their veiled gleam became mischievous when she asked »And Don Juan
Blunt have you seen him over there«
»I fancy he avoided me Moreover he is always with his regiment at the
outposts He is a most valorous captain I heard some people describe him as
foolhardy«
»Oh he neednt seek death« she said in an indefinable tone »I mean as a
refuge There will be nothing in his life great enough for that«
»You are angry You miss him I believe Doña Rita«
»Angry No Weary But of course its very inconvenient I cant very well
ride out alone A solitary amazon swallowing the dust and the salt spray of the
Corniche promenade would attract too much attention And then I dont mind you
two knowing that I am afraid of going out alone«
»Afraid« we both exclaimed together
»You men are extraordinary Why do you want me to be courageous Why
shouldnt I be afraid Is it because there is no one in the world to care what
would happen to me«
There was a deepdown vibration in her tone for the first time We had not a
word to say And she added after a long silence
»There is a very good reason There is a danger«
With wonderful insight Mills affirmed at once
»Something ugly«
She nodded slightly several times Then Mills said with conviction
»Ah Then it cant be anything in yourself And if so «
I was moved to extravagant advice
»You should come out with me to sea then There may be some danger there but
theres nothing ugly to fear«
She gave me a startled glance quite unusual with her more than wonderful to
me and suddenly as though she had seen me for the first time she exclaimed in a
tone of compunction
»Oh And there is this one too Oh why should he run his head into danger
for those things that will all crumble into dust before long«
I said »You wont crumble into dust«
And Mills chimed in
»That young enthusiast will always have his sea«
We were all standing up now She kept her eyes on me and repeated with a
sort of whimsical enviousness
»The sea The violet sea and he is longing to rejoin it At night
Under the stars A lovers meeting« she went on thrilling me from head to
foot with those two words accompanied by a wistful smile pointed by a suspicion
of mockery She turned away »And you Monsieur Mills« she asked
»I am going back to my books« he declared with a very serious face »My
adventure is over«
»Each one to his love« she bantered us gently »Didnt I love books too
at one time They seemed to contain all wisdom and hold a magic power too Tell
me Monsieur Mills have you found amongst them in some blackletter volume the
power of foretelling a poor mortals destiny the power to look into the future
Anybodys future « Mills shook his head »What not even mine« she
coaxed as if she really believed in a magic power to be found in books
Mills shook his head again »No I have not the power« he said »I am no
more a great magician than you are a poor mortal You have your ancient spells
You are as old as the world Of us two its you that are more fit to foretell
the future of the poor mortals on whom you happen to cast your eyes«
At these words she cast her eyes down and in the moment of deep silence I
watched the slight rising and falling of her breast Then Mills pronounced
distinctly
»Goodbye old Enchantress«
They shook hands cordially »Goodbye poor Magician« she said
Mills made as if to speak but seemed to think better of it Doña Rita
returned my distant bow with a slight charmingly ceremonious inclination of her
body
»Bon voyage and a happy return« she said formally
I was following Mills through the door when I heard her voice behind us
raised in recall
»Oh a moment I forgot «
I turned round The call was for me and I walked slowly back wondering what
she could have forgotten She waited in the middle of the room with lowered
head with a mute gleam in her deep blue eyes When I was near enough she
extended to me without a word her bare white arm and suddenly pressed the back
of her hand against my lips I was too startled to seize it with rapture It
detached itself from my lips and fell slowly by her side We had made it up and
there was nothing to say She turned away to the window and I hurried out of the
room
Part Three
I
It was on our return from that first trip that I took Dominic up to the Villa to
be presented to Doña Rita If she wanted to look on the embodiment of fidelity
resource and courage she could behold it all in that man Apparently she was
not disappointed Neither was Dominic disappointed During the halfhours
interview they got into touch with each other in a wonderful way as if they had
some common and secret standpoint in life Maybe it was their common
lawlessness and their knowledge of things as old as the world Her seduction
his recklessness were both simple masterful and in a sense worthy of each
other
Dominic was I wont say awed by this interview No woman could awe Dominic
But he was as it were rendered thoughtful by it like a man who had not so
much an experience as a sort of revelation vouchsafed to him Later at sea he
used to refer to La Señora in a particular tone and I knew that henceforth his
devotion was not for me alone And I understood the inevitability of it
extremely well As to Doña Rita she after Dominic left the room had turned to
me with animation and said »But he is perfect this man« Afterwards she often
asked after him and used to refer to him in conversation More than once she
said to me »One would like to put the care of ones personal safety into the
hands of that man He looks as if he simply couldnt fail one« I admitted that
this was very true especially at sea Dominic couldnt fail But at the same
time I rather chaffed Rita on her preoccupation as to personal safety that so
often cropped up in her talk
»One would think you were a crowned head in a revolutionary world« I used
to tell her
»That would be different One would be standing then for something either
worth or not worth dying for One could even run away then and be done with it
But I cant run away unless I got out of my skin and left that behind Dont you
understand You are very stupid « But she had the grace to add »On purpose«
I dont know about the on purpose I am not certain about the stupidity Her
words bewildered one often and bewilderment is a sort of stupidity I remedied
it by simply disregarding the sense of what she said The sound was there and
also her poignant heartgripping presence giving occupation enough to ones
faculties In the power of those things over one there was mystery enough It
was more absorbing than the mere obscurity of her speeches But I daresay she
couldnt understand that
Hence at times the amusing outbreaks of temper in word and gesture that
only strengthened the natural the invincible force of the spell Sometimes the
brass bowl would get upset or the cigarette box would fly up dropping a shower
of cigarettes on the floor We would pick them up reestablish everything and
fall into a long silence so close that the sound of the first word would come
with all the pain of a separation
It was at that time too that she suggested I should take up my quarters in
her house in the street of the Consuls There were certain advantages in that
move In my present abode my sudden absences might have been in the long run
subject to comment On the other hand the house in the street of the Consuls
was a known outpost of Legitimacy But then it was covered by the occult
influence of her who was referred to in confidential talks secret
communications and discreet whispers of Royalist salons as »Madame de
Lastaola«
That was the name which the heiress of Henry Allègre had decided to adopt
when according to her own expression she had found herself precipitated at a
moments notice into the crowd of mankind It is strange how the death of Henry
Allègre which certainly the poor man had not planned acquired in my view the
character of a heartless desertion It gave one a glimpse of amazing egoism in a
sentiment to which one could hardly give a name a mysterious appropriation of
one human being by another as if in defiance of unexpressed things and for an
unheardof satisfaction of an inconceivable pride If he had hated her he could
not have flung that enormous fortune more brutally at her head And this
unrepentant death seemed to lift for a moment the curtain on something lofty and
sinister like an Olympians caprice
Doña Rita said to me once with humorous resignation »You know it appears
that one must have a name Thats what Henry Allègres man of business told me
He was quite impatient with me about it But my name amigo Henry Allègre had
taken from me like all the rest of what I had been once All that is buried with
him in his grave It wouldnt have been true That is how I felt about it So I
took that one« She whispered to herself »Lastaola« not as if to test the
sound but as if in a dream
To this day I am not quite certain whether it was the name of any human
habitation a lonely caserio with a halfeffaced carving of a coat of arms over
its door or of some hamlet at the dead end of a ravine with a stony slope at
the back It might have been a hill for all I know or perhaps a stream A wood
or perhaps a combination of all these just a bit of the earths surface Once I
asked her where exactly it was situated and she answered waving her hand
cavalierly at the dead wall of the room »Oh over there« I thought that this
was all that I was going to hear but she added moodily »I used to take my goats
there a dozen or so of them for the day From after my uncle had said his Mass
till the ringing of the evening bell«
I saw suddenly the lonely spot sketched for me some time ago by a few words
from Mr Blunt populated by the agile bearded beasts with cynical heads and a
little misty figure dark in the sunlight with a halo of dishevelled
rustcoloured hair about its head
The epithet of rustcoloured comes from her It was really tawny Once or
twice in my hearing she had referred to my rustcoloured hair with laughing
vexation Even then it was unruly abhorring the restraints of civilization and
often in the heat of a dispute getting into the eyes of Madame de Lastaola the
possessor of coveted art treasures the heiress of Henry Allègre She proceeded
in a reminiscent mood with a faint flash of gaiety all over her face except
her dark blue eyes that moved so seldom out of their fixed scrutiny of things
invisible to other human beings
»The goats were very good We clambered amongst the stones together They
beat me at that game I used to catch my hair in the bushes«
»Your rustcoloured hair« I whispered
»Yes it was always this colour And I used to leave bits of my frock on
thorns here and there It was pretty thin I can tell you There wasnt much at
that time between my skin and the blue of the sky My legs were as sunburnt as
my face but really I didnt tan very much I had plenty of freckles though
There were no lookingglasses in the Presbytery but uncle had a piece not bigger
than my two hands for his shaving One Sunday I crept into his room and had a
peep at myself And wasnt I startled to see my own eyes looking at me But it
was fascinating too I was about eleven years old then and I was very friendly
with the goats and I was as shrill as a cicada and as slender as a match
Heavens When I overhear myself speaking sometimes or look at my limbs it
doesnt seem to be possible And yet it is the same one I do remember every
single goat They were very clever Goats are no trouble really they dont
scatter much Mine never did even if I had to hide myself out of their sight for
ever so long«
It was but natural to ask her why she wanted to hide and she uttered
vaguely what was rather a comment on my question
»It was like fate« But I chose to take it otherwise teasingly because we
were often like a pair of children
»Oh really« I said »you talk like a pagan What could you know of fate at
that time What was it like Did it come down from Heaven«
»Dont be stupid It used to come along a carttrack that was there and it
looked like a boy Wasnt he a little devil though You understand I couldnt
know that He was a wealthy cousin of mine Round there we are all related all
cousins as in Brittany He wasnt much bigger than myself but he was older
just a boy in blue breeches and with good shoes on his feet which of course
interested and impressed me He yelled to me from below I screamed to him from
above he came up and sat down near me on a stone never said a word let me
look at him for half an hour before he condescended to ask me who I was And the
airs he gave himself He quite intimidated me sitting there perfectly dumb I
remember trying to hide my bare feet under the edge of my skirt as I sat below
him on the ground
Cest comique eh« she interrupted herself to comment in a melancholy tone
I looked at her sympathetically and she went on
»He was the only son from a rich farmhouse two miles down the slope In
winter they used to send him to school at Tolosa He had an enormous opinion of
himself he was going to keep a shop in a town by and by and he was about the
most dissatisfied creature I have ever seen He had an unhappy mouth and unhappy
eyes and he was always wretched about something about the treatment he
received about being kept in the country and chained to work He was moaning
and complaining and threatening all the world including his father and mother
He used to curse God yes that boy sitting there on a piece of rock like a
wretched little Prometheus with a sparrow pecking at his miserable little liver
And the grand scenery of mountains all round ha ha ha«
She laughed in contralto a penetrating sound with something generous in it
not infectious but in others provoking a smile
»Of course I poor little animal I didnt know what to make of it and I
was even a little frightened But at first because of his miserable eyes I was
sorry for him almost as much as if he had been a sick goat But frightened or
sorry I dont know how it is I always wanted to laugh at him too I mean from
the very first day when he let me admire him for half an hour Yes even then I
had to put my hand over my mouth more than once for the sake of good manners
you understand And yet you know I was never a laughing child
One day he came up and sat down very dignified a little bit away from me and
told me he had been thrashed for wandering in the hills
To be with me I asked And he said To be with you No My people dont
know what I do I cant tell why but I was annoyed So instead of raising a
clamour of pity over him which I suppose he expected me to do I asked him if
the thrashing hurt very much He got up he had a switch in his hand and walked
up to me saying I will soon show you I went stiff with fright but instead of
slashing at me he dropped down by my side and kissed me on the cheek Then he
did it again and by that time I was gone dead all over and he could have done
what he liked with the corpse but he left off suddenly and then I came to life
again and I bolted away Not very far I couldnt leave the goats altogether He
chased me round and about the rocks but of course I was too quick for him in
his nice town boots When he got tired of that game he started throwing stones
After that he made my life very lively for me Sometimes he used to come on me
unawares and then I had to sit still and listen to his miserable ravings
because he would catch me round the waist and hold me very tight And yet I
often felt inclined to laugh But if I caught sight of him at a distance and
tried to dodge out of the way he would start stoning me into a shelter I knew of
and then sit outside with a heap of stones at hand so that I darent show the
end of my nose for hours He would sit there and rave and abuse me till I would
burst into a crazy laugh in my hole and then I could see him through the leaves
rolling on the ground and biting his fists with rage Didnt he hate me At the
same time I was often terrified I am convinced now that if I had started crying
he would have rushed in and perhaps strangled me there Then as the sun was
about to set he would make me swear that I would marry him when I was grown up
Swear you little wretched beggar he would yell to me And I would swear I was
hungry and I didnt want to be made black and blue all over with stones Oh I
swore ever so many times to be his wife Thirty times a month for two months I
couldnt help myself It was no use complaining to my sister Therese When I
showed her my bruises and tried to tell her a little about my trouble she was
quite scandalized She called me a sinful girl a shameless creature I assure
you it puzzled my head so that between Therese my sister and José the boy I
lived in a state of idiocy almost But luckily at the end of the two months they
sent him away from home for good Curious story to happen to a goatherd living
all her days out under Gods eye as my uncle the Cura might have said My
sister Therese was keeping house in the Presbytery Shes a terrible person«
»I have heard of your sister Therese« I said
»Oh you have Of my big sister Therese six ten years older than myself
perhaps She just comes a little above my shoulder but then I was always a long
thing I never knew my mother I dont even know how she looked There are no
paintings or photographs in our farmhouses amongst the hills I havent even
heard her described to me I believe I was never good enough to be told these
things Therese decided that I was a lump of wickedness and now she believes
that I will lose my soul altogether unless I take some steps to save it Well I
have no particular taste that way I suppose it is annoying to have a sister
going fast to eternal perdition but there are compensations The funniest thing
is that its Therese I believe who managed to keep me out of the Presbytery
when I went out of my way to look in on them on my return from my visit to the
Quartel Real last year I couldnt have stayed much more than half an hour with
them anyway but still I would have liked to get over the old doorstep I am
certain that Therese persuaded my uncle to go out and meet me at the bottom of
the hill I saw the old man a long way off and I understood how it was I
dismounted at once and met him on foot We had half an hour together walking up
and down the road He is a peasant priest he didnt know how to treat me And
of course I was uncomfortable too There wasnt a single goat about to keep me
in countenance I ought to have embraced him I was always fond of the stern
simple old man But he drew himself up when I approached him and actually took
off his hat to me So simple as that I bowed my head and asked for his
blessing And he said I would never refuse a blessing to a good Legitimist So
stern as that And when I think that I was perhaps the only girl of the family
or in the whole world that he ever in his priests life patted on the head When
I think of that I believe at that moment I was as wretched as he was
himself I handed him an envelope with a big red seal which quite startled him
I had asked the Marquis de Villarel to give me a few words for him because my
uncle has a great influence in his district and the Marquis penned with his own
hand some compliments and an inquiry about the spirit of the population My
uncle read the letter looked up at me with an air of mournful awe and begged
me to tell his excellency that the people were all for God their lawful King
and their old privileges I said to him then after he had asked me about the
health of His Majesty in an awfully gloomy tone I said then There is only one
thing that remains for me to do uncle and that is to give you two pounds of
the very best snuff I have brought here for you What else could I have got for
the poor old man I had no trunks with me I had to leave behind a spare pair of
shoes in the hotel to make room in my little bag for that snuff And fancy That
old priest absolutely pushed the parcel away I could have thrown it at his
head but I thought suddenly of that hard prayerful life knowing nothing of
any ease or pleasure in the world absolutely nothing but a pinch of snuff now
and then I remembered how wretched he used to be when he lacked a copper or two
to get some snuff with My face was hot with indignation but before I could fly
out at him I remembered how simple he was So I said with great dignity that as
the present came from the King and as he wouldnt receive it from my hand there
was nothing else for me to do but to throw it into the brook and I made as if I
were going to do it too He shouted Stay unhappy girl Is it really from His
Majesty whom God preserve I said contemptuously Of course He looked at me
with great pity in his eyes sighed deeply and took the little tin from my
hand I suppose he imagined me in my abandoned way wheedling the necessary cash
out of the King for the purchase of that snuff You cant imagine how simple he
is Nothing was easier than to deceive him but dont imagine I deceived him
from the vainglory of a mere sinner I lied to the dear man simply because I
couldnt bear the idea of him being deprived of the only gratification his big
ascetic gaunt body ever knew on earth As I mounted my mule to go away he
murmured coldly God guard you Señora Señora What sternness We were off a
little way already when his heart softened and he shouted after me in a terrible
voice The road to Heaven is repentance And then after a silence again the
great shout Repentance thundered after me Was that sternness or simplicity I
wonder Or a mere unmeaning superstition a mechanical thing If there lives
anybody completely honest in this world surely it must be my uncle And yet
who knows
Would you guess what was the next thing I did Directly I got over the
frontier I wrote from Bayonne asking the old man to send me out my sister here
I said it was for the service of the King You see I had thought suddenly of
that house of mine in which you once spent the night talking with Mr Mills and
Don Juan Blunt I thought it would do extremely well for Carlist officers coming
this way on leave or on a mission In hotels they might have been molested but
I knew that I could get protection for my house Just a word from the ministry
in Paris to the Prefect But I wanted a woman to manage it for me And where was
I to find a trustworthy woman How was I to know one when I saw her I dont
know how to talk to women Of course my Rose would have done for me that or
anything else but what could I have done myself without her She has looked
after me from the first It was Henry Allègre who got her for me eight years
ago I dont know whether he meant it for a kindness but shes the only human
being on whom I can lean She knows What doesnt she know about me She has
never failed to do the right thing for me unasked I couldnt part with her And
I couldnt think of anybody else but my sister
After all it was somebody belonging to me But it seemed the wildest idea
Yet she came at once Of course I took care to send her some money She likes
money As to my uncle there is nothing that he wouldnt have given up for the
service of the King Rose went to meet her at the railway station She told me
afterwards that there had been no need for me to be anxious about her
recognizing Mademoiselle Therese There was nobody else in the train that could
be mistaken for her I should think not She had made for herself a dress of
some brown stuff like a nuns habit and had a crooked stick and carried all her
belongings tied up in a handkerchief She looked like a pilgrim to a saints
shrine Rose took her to the house She asked when she saw it And does this big
place really belong to our Rita My maid of course said that it was mine And
how long did our Rita live here Madame has never seen it unless perhaps the
outside as far as I know I believe Mr Allègre lived here for some time when
he was a young man The sinner thats dead Just so says Rose You know
nothing ever startles Rose Well his sins are gone with him said my sister
and began to make herself at home
Rose was going to stop with her for a week but on the third day she was back
with me with the remark that Mlle Therese knew her way about very well already
and preferred to be left to herself Some little time afterwards I went to see
that sister of mine The first thing she said to me I wouldnt have recognized
you Rita and I said What a funny dress you have Therese more fit for the
portress of a convent than for this house Yes she said and unless you give
this house to me Rita I will go back to our country I will have nothing to do
with your life Rita Your life is no secret for me
I was going from room to room and Therese was following me I dont know
that my life is a secret to anybody I said to her but how do you know anything
about it And then she told me that it was through a cousin of ours that horrid
wretch of a boy you know He had finished his schooling and was a clerk in a
Spanish commercial house of some kind in Paris and apparently had made it his
business to write home whatever he could hear about me or ferret out from those
relations of mine with whom I lived as a girl I got suddenly very furious I
raged up and down the room we were alone upstairs and Therese scuttled away
from me as far as the door I heard her say to herself Its the evil spirit in
her that makes her like this She was absolutely convinced of that She made the
sign of the cross in the air to protect herself I was quite astounded And then
I really couldnt help myself I burst into a laugh I laughed and laughed I
really couldnt stop till Therese ran away I went downstairs still laughing and
found her in the hall with her face to the wall and her fingers in her ears
kneeling in a corner I had to pull her out by the shoulders from there I dont
think she was frightened she was only shocked But I dont suppose her heart is
desperately bad because when I dropped into a chair feeling very tired she came
and knelt in front of me and put her arms round my waist and entreated me to
cast off from me my evil ways with the help of saints and priests Quite a
little programme for a reformed sinner I got away at last I left her sunk on
her heels before the empty chair looking after me I pray for you every night
and morning Rita she said Oh yes I know you are a good sister I said to
her I was letting myself out when she called after me And what about this
house Rita I said to her Oh you may keep it till the day I reform and enter
a convent The last I saw of her she was still on her knees looking after me
with her mouth open I have seen her since several times but our intercourse
is at any rate on her side as of a frozen nun with some great lady But I
believe she really knows how to make men comfortable Upon my word I think she
likes to look after men They dont seem to be such great sinners as women are
I think you could do worse than take up your quarters at number 10 She will no
doubt develop a saintly sort of affection for you too«
I dont know that the prospect of becoming a favourite of Doña Ritas
peasant sister was very fascinating to me If I went to live very willingly at
No 10 it was because everything connected with Doña Rita had for me a peculiar
fascination She had only passed through the house once as far as I knew but it
was enough She was one of those beings that leave a trace I am not
unreasonable I mean for those that knew her That is I suppose because she
was so unforgettable Let us remember the tragedy of Azzolati the ruthless the
ridiculous financier with a criminal soul or shall we say heart and facile
tears No wonder then that for me who may flatter myself without undue vanity
with being much finer than that grotesque international intriguer the mere
knowledge that Doña Rita had passed through the very rooms in which I was going
to live between the strenuous times of the seaexpeditions was enough to fill
my inner being with a great content Her glance her darkly brilliant blue
glance had run over the walls of that room which most likely would be mine to
slumber in Behind me somewhere near the door Therese the peasant sister
said in a funnily compassionate tone and in an amazingly
landladyofaboardinghouse spirit of false persuasiveness
»You will be very comfortable here Señor It is so peaceful here in the
street Sometimes one may think oneself in a village Its only a hundred and
twentyfive francs for the friends of the King And I shall take such good care
of you that your very heart will be able to rest«
II
Doña Rita was curious to know how I got on with her peasant sister and all I
could say in return for that inquiry was that the peasant sister was in her own
way amiable At this she clicked her tongue amusingly and repeated a remark she
had made before »She likes young men The younger the better« The mere thought
of those two women being sisters aroused ones wonder Physically they were
altogether of different design It was also the difference between living tissue
of glowing loveliness with a divine breath and a hard hollow figure of baked
clay
Indeed Therese did somehow resemble an achievement wonderful enough in its
way in unglazed earthenware The only gleam perhaps that one could find on her
was that of her teeth which one used to get between her dull lips unexpectedly
startlingly and a little inexplicably because it was never associated with a
smile She smiled with compressed mouth It was indeed difficult to conceive of
those two birds coming from the same nest And yet Contrary to what
generally happens it was when one saw those two women together that one lost
all belief in the possibility of their relationship near or far It extended
even to their common humanity One as it were doubted it If one of the two
was representative then the other was either something more or less than human
One wondered whether these two women belonged to the same scheme of creation
One was secretly amazed to see them standing together speaking to each other
having words in common understanding each other And yet Our psychological
sense is the crudest of all we dont know we dont perceive how superficial we
are The simplest shades escape us the secret of changes of relations No
upon the whole the only feature and yet with enormous differences which
Therese had in common with her sister as I told Doña Rita was amiability
»For you know you are a most amiable person yourself« I went on »Its
one of your characteristics of course much more precious than in other people
You transmute the commonest traits into gold of your own but after all there
are no new names You are amiable You were most amiable to me when I first saw
you«
»Really I was not aware Not specially «
»I had never the presumption to think that it was special Moreover my head
was in a whirl I was lost in astonishment first of all at what I had been
listening to all night Your history you know a wonderful tale with a flavour
of wine in it and wreathed in clouds with that amazing decapitated mutilated
dummy of a woman lurking in a corner and with Blunts smile gleaming through a
fog the fog in my eyes from Mills pipe you know I was feeling quite
inanimate as to body and frightfully stimulated as to mind all the time I had
never heard anything like that talk about you before Of course I wasnt sleepy
but still I am not used to do altogether without sleep like Blunt «
»Keep awake all night listening to my story« She marvelled
»Yes You dont think I am complaining do you I wouldnt have missed it
for the world Blunt in a ragged old jacket and a white tie and that incisive
polite voice of his seemed strange and weird It seemed as though he were
inventing it all rather angrily I had doubts as to your existence«
»Mr Blunt is very much interested in my story«
»Anybody would be« I said »I was I didnt sleep a wink I was expecting
to see you soon and even then I had my doubts«
»As to my existence«
»It wasnt exactly that though of course I couldnt tell that you werent a
product of Captain Blunts sleeplessness He seemed to dread exceedingly to be
left alone and your story might have been a device to detain us «
»He hasnt enough imagination for that« she said
»It didnt occur to me But there was Mills who apparently believed in your
existence I could trust Mills My doubts were about the propriety I couldnt
see any good reason for being taken to see you Strange that it should be my
connection with the sea which brought me here to the Villa«
»Unexpected perhaps«
»No I mean particularly strange and significant«
»Why«
»Because my friends are in the habit of telling me and each other that the
sea is my only love They were always chaffing me because they couldnt see or
guess in my life at any woman open or secret «
»And is that really so« she inquired negligently
»Why yes I dont mean to say that I am like an innocent shepherd in one of
those interminable stories of the eighteenth century But I dont throw the word
love about indiscriminately It may be all true about the sea but some people
would say that they love sausages«
»You are horrible«
»I am surprised«
»I mean your choice of words«
»And you have never uttered a word yet that didnt change into a pearl as it
dropped from your lips At least not before me«
She glanced down deliberately and said »This is better But I dont see any
of them on the floor«
»Its you who are horrible in the implications of your language Dont see
any on the floor Havent I caught up and treasured them all in my heart I am
not the animal from which sausages are made«
She looked at me suavely and then with the sweetest possible smile breathed
out the word No
And we both laughed very loud O days of innocence On this occasion we
parted from each other on a lighthearted note But already I had acquired the
conviction that there was nothing more lovable in the world than that woman
nothing more lifegiving inspiring and illuminating than the emanation of her
charm I meant it absolutely not excepting the light of the sun
From this there was only one step further to take The step into a conscious
surrender the open perception that this charm warming like a flame was also
allrevealing like a great light giving new depth to shades new brilliance to
colours an amazing vividness to all sensations and vitality to all thoughts so
that all that had been lived before seemed to have been lived in a drab world
and with a languid pulse
A great revelation this I dont mean to say it was soulshaking The soul
was already a captive before doubt anguish or dismay could touch its surrender
and its exaltation But all the same the revelation turned many things into
dust and amongst others the sense of the careless freedom of my life If that
life ever had any purpose or any aim outside itself I would have said that it
threw a shadow across its path But it hadnt There had been no path But there
was a shadow the inseparable companion of all light No illumination can sweep
all mystery out of the world After the departed darkness the shadows remain
more mysterious because as if more enduring and one feels a dread of them of
which one was free before What if they were to be victorious at the last They
or what perhaps lurks in them fear deception desire disillusion all silent
at first before the song of triumphant love vibrating in the light Yes Silent
Even desire itself All silent But not for long
This was I think before the third expedition Yes it must have been the
third for I remember that it was boldly planned and that it was carried out
without a hitch The tentative period was over all our arrangements had been
perfected There was so to speak always an unfailing smoke on the hill and an
unfailing lantern on the shore Our friends mostly bought for hard cash and
therefore valuable had acquired confidence in us This they seemed to say is
no unfathomable roguery of penniless adventures This is but the reckless
enterprise of men of wealth and sense and neednt be inquired into The young
caballero has got real gold pieces in the belt he wears next his skin and the
man with the heavy moustaches and unbelieving eyes is indeed very much of a man
They gave to Dominic all their respect and to me a great show of deference for
I had all the money while they thought that Dominic had all the sense That
judgment was not exactly correct I had my share of judgment and audacity which
surprises me now that the years have chilled the blood without dimming the
memory I remember going about the business with a lighthearted clearheaded
recklessness which according as its decisions were sudden or considered made
Dominic draw his breath through his clenched teeth or look hard at me before he
gave me either a slight nod of assent or a sarcastic »Oh certainly« just as
the humour of the moment prompted him
One night as we were lying on a bit of dry sand under the lee of a rock
side by side watching the light of our little vessel dancing away at sea in the
windy distance Dominic spoke suddenly to me
»I suppose Alphonso and Carlos Carlos and Alphonso they are nothing to
you together or separately«
I said »Dominic if they were both to vanish from the earth together or
separately it would make no difference to my feelings«
He remarked »Just so A man mourns only for his friends I suppose they are
no more friends to you than they are to me Those Carlists make a great
consumption of cartridges That is well But why should we do all those mad
things that you will insist on us doing till my hair« he pursued with grave
mocking exaggeration »till my hair tries to stand up on my head and all for
that Carlos let God and the devil each guard his own for that Majesty as they
call him but after all a man like another and no friend«
»Yes why« I murmured feeling my body nestled at ease in the sand
It was very dark under the overhanging rock on that night of clouds and of
wind that died and rose and died again Dominics voice was heard speaking low
between the short gusts
»Friend of the Señora eh«
»Thats what the world says Dominic«
»Half of what the world says are lies« he pronounced dogmatically »For all
his majesty he may be a good enough man Yet he is only a king in the mountains
and tomorrow he may be no more than you Still a woman like that one
somehow would grudge her to a better king She ought to be set up on a high
pillar for people that walk on the ground to raise their eyes up to But you are
otherwise you gentlemen You for instance Monsieur you wouldnt want to see
her set up on a pillar«
»That sort of thing Dominic« I said »that sort of thing you understand
me ought to be done early«
He was silent for a time And then his manly voice was heard in the shadow
of the rock
»I see well enough what you mean I spoke of the multitude that only raise
their eyes But for kings and suchlike that is not enough Well no heart need
despair for there is not a woman that wouldnt at some time or other get down
from her pillar for no bigger bribe perhaps than just a flower which is fresh
today and withered tomorrow And then whats the good of asking how long any
woman has been up there There is a true saying that lips that have been kissed
do not lose their freshness«
I dont know what answer I could have made I imagine Dominic thought
himself unanswerable As a matter of fact before I could speak a voice came to
us down the face of the rock crying secretly »Olà down there All is safe
ashore«
It was the boy who used to hang about the stable of a muleteers inn in a
little shallow valley with a shallow little stream in it and where we had been
hiding most of the day before coming down to the shore We both started to our
feet and Dominic said »A good boy that You didnt hear him either come or go
above our heads Dont reward him with more than one peseta Señor whatever he
does If you were to give him two he would go mad at the sight of so much wealth
and throw up his job at the Fonda where he is so useful to run errands in that
way he has of skimming along the paths without displacing a stone«
Meantime he was busying himself with striking a fire to set alight a small
heap of dry sticks he had made ready beforehand on that spot which in all the
circuit of the Bay was perfectly screened from observation from the land side
The clear flame shooting up revealed him in the black cloak with a hood of a
Mediterranean sailor His eyes watched the dancing dim light to seaward And he
talked the while
»The only fault you have Señor is being too generous with your money In
this world you must give sparingly The only things you may deal out without
counting in this life of ours which is but a little fight and a little love is
blows to your enemy and kisses to a woman Ah here they are coming in«
I noticed the dancing light in the dark west much closer to the shore now
Its motion had altered It swayed slowly as it ran towards us and suddenly
the darker shadow as of a great pointed wing appeared gliding in the night
Under it a human voice shouted something confidently
»Bueno« muttered Dominic From some receptacle I didnt see he poured a lot
of water on the blaze like a magician at the end of a successful incantation
that had called out a shadow and a voice from the immense space of the sea And
his hooded figure vanished from my sight in a great hiss and the warm feel of
ascending steam
»Thats all over« he said »and now we go back for more work more toil
more trouble more exertion with hands and feet for hours and hours And all
the time the head turned over the shoulder too«
We were climbing a precipitous path sufficiently dangerous in the dark
Dominic more familiar with it going first and I scrambling close behind in
order that I might grab at his cloak if I chanced to slip or miss my footing I
remonstrated against this arrangement as we stopped to rest I had no doubt I
would grab at his cloak if I felt myself falling I couldnt help doing that
But I would probably only drag him down with me
With one hand grasping a shadowy bush above his head he growled that all
this was possible but that it was all in the bargain and urged me onwards
When we got on to the level that man whose even breathing no exertion no
danger no fear or anger could disturb remarked as we strode side by side
»I will say this for us that we are carrying out all this deadly
foolishness as conscientiously as though the eyes of the Señora were on us all
the time And as to risk I suppose we take more than she would approve of I
fancy if she ever gave a moments thought to us out here Now for instance in
the next half hour we may come any moment on three carabineers who would let
off their pieces without asking questions Even your way of flinging money about
cannot make safety for men set on defying a whole big country for the sake of
what is it exactly the blue eyes or the white arms of the Señora«
He kept his voice equably low It was a lonely spot and but for a vague
shape of a dwarf tree here and there we had only the flying clouds for company
Very far off a tiny light twinkled a little way up the seaward shoulder of an
invisible mountain Dominic moved on
»Fancy yourself lying here on this wild spot with a leg smashed by a shot
or perhaps with a bullet in your side It might happen A star might fall I
have watched stars falling in scores on clear nights in the Atlantic And it was
nothing The flash of a pinch of gunpowder in your face may be a bigger matter
Yet somehow its pleasant as we stumble in the dark to think of our Señora in
that long room with a shiny floor and all that lot of glass at the end sitting
on that divan you call it covered with carpets as if expecting a king indeed
And very still «
He remembered her whose image could not be dismissed
I laid my hand on his shoulder
»That light on the mountain side flickers exceedingly Dominic Are we in
the path«
He addressed me then in French which was between us the language of more
formal moments
»Prenez mon bras Monsieur Take a firm hold or I will have you stumbling
again and falling into one of those beastly holes with a good chance to crack
your head And there is no need to take offence For speaking with all respect
why should you and I with you be here on this lonely spot barking our shins
in the dark on the way to a confounded flickering light where there will be no
other supper but a piece of a stale sausage and a draught of leathery wine out
of a stinking skin Pah«
I had good hold of his arm Suddenly he dropped the formal French and
pronounced in his inflexible voice
»For a pair of white arms Señor Bueno«
He could understand
III
On our return from that expedition we came gliding into the old harbour so late
that Dominic and I making for the café kept by Madame Léonore found it empty
of customers except for two rather sinister fellows playing cards together at a
corner table near the door The first thing done by Madame Léonore was to put
her hands on Dominics shoulders and look at arms length into the eyes of that
man of audacious deeds and wild stratagems who smiled straight at her from under
his heavy and at that time uncurled moustaches
Indeed we didnt present a neat appearance our faces unshaven with the
traces of dried salt sprays on our smarting skins and the sleeplessness of full
forty hours filming our eyes At least it was so with me who saw as through a
mist Madame Léonore moving with her mature nonchalant grace setting before us
wine and glasses with a faint swish of her ample black skirt Under the
elaborate structure of black hair her jetblack eyes sparkled like goodhumoured
stars and even I could see that she was tremendously excited at having this
lawless wanderer Dominic within her reach and as it were in her power Presently
she sat down by us touched lightly Dominics curly head silvered on the temples
she couldnt really help it gazed at me for a while with a quizzical smile
observed that I looked very tired and asked Dominic whether for all that I was
likely to sleep soundly tonight
»I dont know« said Dominic »Hes young And there is always the chance of
dreams«
»What do you men dream of in those little barques of yours tossing for
months on the water«
»Mostly of nothing« said Dominic »But it has happened to me to dream of
furious fights«
»And of furious loves too no doubt« she caught him up in a mocking voice
»No thats for the waking hours« Dominic drawled basking sleepily with
his head between his hands in her ardent gaze »The waking hours are longer«
»They must be at sea« she said never taking her eyes off him »But I
suppose you do talk of your loves sometimes«
»You may be sure Madame Léonore« I interjected noticing the hoarseness of
my voice »that you at any rate are talked about a lot at sea«
»I am not so sure of that now There is that strange lady from the Prado
that you took him to see Signorino She went to his head like a glass of wine
into a tender youngsters He is such a child and I suppose that I am another
Shame to confess it the other morning I got a friend to look after the café for
a couple of hours wrapped up my head and walked out there to the other end of
the town Look at these two sitting up And I thought they were so sleepy
and tired the poor fellows«
She kept our curiosity in suspense for a moment
»Well I have seen your marvel Dominic« she continued in a calm voice
»She came flying out of the gate on horseback and it would have been all I would
have seen of her if and this is for you Signorino if she hadnt pulled up
in the main alley to wait for a very goodlooking cavalier He had his
moustaches so and his teeth were very white when he smiled at her But his eyes
are too deep in his head for my taste I didnt like it It reminded me of a
certain very severe priest who used to come to our village when I was young
younger even than your marvel Dominic«
»It was no priest in disguise Madame Léonore« I said amused by her
expression of disgust »Thats an American«
»Ah Un Americano Well never mind him It was her that I went to see«
»What Walked to the other end of the town to see Doña Rita« Dominic
addressed her in a low bantering tone »Why you were always telling me you
couldnt walk further than the end of the quay to save your life or even mine
you said«
»Well I did and I walked back again and between the two walks I had a good
look And you may be sure that will surprise you both that on the way back
oh Santa Madre wasnt it a long way too I wasnt thinking of any man at sea
or on shore in that connection«
»No And you were not thinking of yourself either I suppose« I said
Speaking was a matter of great effort for me whether I was too tired or too
sleepy I cant tell »No you were not thinking of yourself You were thinking
of a woman though«
»Si As much a woman as any of us that ever breathed in the world Yes of
her Of that very one You see we women are not like you men indifferent to
each other unless by some exception Men say we are always against one another
but thats only mens conceit What can she be to me I am not afraid of the big
child here« and she tapped Dominics forearm on which he rested his head with a
fascinated stare »With us two it is for life and death and I am rather pleased
that there is something yet in him that can catch fire on occasion I would have
thought less of him if he hadnt been able to get out of hand a little for
something really fine As for you Signorino« she turned on me with an
unexpected and sarcastic sally »I am not in love with you yet« She changed her
tone from sarcasm to a soft and even dreamy note »A head like a gem« went on
that woman born in some bystreet of Rome and a plaything for years of God
knows what obscure fates »Yes Dominic Antica I havent been haunted by a
face since since I was sixteen years old It was the face of a young cavalier
in the street He was on horseback too He never looked at me I never saw him
again and I loved him for for days and days and days That was the sort of
face he had And her face is of the same sort She had a mans hat too on her
head So high«
»A mans hat on her head« remarked with profound displeasure Dominic to
whom this wonder at least of all the wonders of the earth was apparently
unknown
»Si And her face has haunted me Not so long as that other but more
touchingly because I am no longer sixteen and this is a woman Yes I did think
of her I myself was once that age and I too had a face of my own to show to
the world though not so superb And I too didnt know why I had come into the
world any more than she does«
»And now you know« Dominic growled softly with his head still between his
hands
She looked at him for a long time opened her lips but in the end only
sighed lightly
»And what do you know of her you who have seen her so well as to be haunted
by her face« I asked
I wouldnt have been surprised if she had answered me with another sigh For
she seemed only to be thinking of herself and looked not in my direction But
suddenly she roused up
»Of her« she repeated in a louder voice »Why should I talk of another
woman And then she is a great lady«
At this I could not repress a smile which she detected at once
»Isnt she Well no perhaps she isnt but you may be sure of one thing
that she is both flesh and shadow more than any one that I have seen Keep that
well in your mind She is for no man She would be vanishing out of their hands
like water that cannot be held«
I caught my breath »Inconstant« I whispered
»I dont say that Maybe too proud too wilful too full of pity Signorino
you dont know much about women And you may learn something yet or you may not
but what you learn from her you will never forget«
»Not to be held« I murmured and she whom the quayside called Madame
Léonore closed her outstretched hand before my face and opened it at once to
show its emptiness in illustration of her expressed opinion Dominic never
moved
I wished goodnight to these two and left the café for the fresh air and the
dark spaciousness of the quays augmented by all the width of the old Port where
between the trails of light the shadows of heavy hulls appeared very black
merging their outlines in a great confusion I left behind me the end of the
Cannebiére a wide vista of tall houses and muchlighted pavements losing itself
in the distance with an extinction of both shapes and lights I slunk past it
with only a side glance and sought the dimness of quiet streets away from the
centre of the usual night gaieties of the town The dress I wore was just that
of a sailor come ashore from some coaster a thick blue woollen shirt or rather
a sort of jumper with a knitted cap like a tamoshanter worn very much on one
side and with a red tuft of wool in the centre This was even the reason why I
had lingered so long in the café I didnt want to be recognized in the streets
in that costume and still less to be seen entering the house in the street of
the Consuls At that hour when the performances were over and all the sensible
citizens in their beds I didnt hesitate to cross the Place of the Opera It was
dark the audience had already dispersed The rare passersby I met hurrying on
their last affairs of the day paid no attention to me at all The street of the
Consuls I expected to find empty as usual at that time of the night But as I
turned a corner into it I overtook three people who must have belonged to the
locality To me somehow they appeared strange Two girls in dark cloaks walked
ahead of a tall man in a top hat I slowed down not wishing to pass them by
the more so that the door of the house was only a few yards distant But to my
intense surprise those people stopped at it and the man in the top hat
producing a latchkey let his two companions through followed them and with a
heavy slam cut himself off from my astonished self and the rest of mankind
In the stupid way people have I stood and meditated on the sight before it
occurred to me that this was the most useless thing to do After waiting a
little longer to let the others get away from the hall I entered in my turn The
small gasjet seemed not to have been touched ever since that distant night when
Mills and I trod the blackandwhite marble hall for the first time on the heels
of Captain Blunt who lived by his sword And in the dimness and solitude which
kept no more trace of the three strangers than if they had been the merest
ghosts I seemed to hear the ghostly murmur »Américain Catholique et
gentilhomme Amer « Unseen by human eye I ran up the flight of steps swiftly
and on the first floor stepped into my sittingroom of which the door was open
»et gentilhomme« I tugged at the bell pull and somewhere down below a bell
rang as unexpected for Therese as a call from a ghost
I had no notion whether Therese could hear me I seemed to remember that she
slept in any bed that happened to be vacant For all I knew she might have been
asleep in mine As I had no matches on me I waited for a while in the dark The
house was perfectly still Suddenly without the slightest preliminary sound
light fell into the room and Therese stood in the open door with a candlestick
in her hand
She had on her peasant brown skirt The rest of her was concealed in a black
shawl which covered her head her shoulders arms and elbows completely down
to her waist The hand holding the candle protruded from that envelope which the
other invisible hand clasped together under her very chin And her face looked
like a face in a painting She said at once
»You startled me my young Monsieur«
She addressed me most frequently in that way as though she liked the very
word young Her manner was certainly peasantlike with a sort of plaint in the
voice while the face was that of a serving Sister in some small and rustic
convent
»I meant to do it« I said »I am a very bad person«
»The young are always full of fun« she said as if she were gloating over
the idea »It is very pleasant«
»But you are very brave« I chaffed her »for you didnt expect a ring and
after all it might have been the devil who pulled the bell«
»It might have been But a poor girl like me is not afraid of the devil I
have a pure heart I have been to confession last evening No But it might have
been an assassin that pulled the bell ready to kill a poor harmless woman This
is a very lonely street What could prevent you from killing me now and then
walking out again free as air«
While she was talking like this she had lighted the gas and with the last
words she glided through the bedroom door leaving me thunderstruck at the
unexpected character of her thoughts
I couldnt know that there had been during my absence a case of atrocious
murder which had affected the imagination of the whole town and though Therese
did not read the papers which she imagined to be full of impieties and
immoralities invented by godless men yet if she spoke at all with her kind
which she must have done at least in shops she could not have helped hearing of
it It seems that for some days people could talk of nothing else She returned
gliding from the bedroom hermetically sealed in her black shawl just as she had
gone in with the protruding hand holding the lighted candle and relieved my
perplexity as to her morbid turn of mind by telling me something of the murder
story in a strange tone of indifference even while referring to its most
horrible features »Thats what carnal sin pêché de chair leads to« she
commented severely and passed her tongue over her thin lips »And then the devil
furnishes the occasion«
»I cant imagine the devil inciting me to murder you Therese« I said »and
I didnt like that ready way you took me for an example as it were I suppose
pretty near every lodger might be a potential murderer but I expected to be
made an exception«
With the candle held a little below her face with that face of one tone and
without relief she looked more than ever as though she had come out of an old
cracked smoky painting the subject of which was altogether beyond human
conception And she only compressed her lips
»All right« I said making myself comfortable on a sofa after pulling off
my boots »I suppose any one is liable to commit murder all of a sudden Well
have you got many murderers in the house«
»Yes« she said »its pretty good Upstairs and downstairs« she sighed
»God sees to it«
»And by the by who is that greyheaded murderer in a tall hat whom I saw
shepherding two girls into this house«
She put on a candid air in which one could detect a little of her peasant
cunning
»Oh yes They are two dancing girls at the Opera sisters as different
from each other as I and our poor Rita But they are both virtuous and that
gentleman their father is very severe with them Very severe indeed poor
motherless things And it seems to be such a sinful occupation«
»I bet you make them pay a big rent Therese With an occupation like that
«
She looked at me with eyes of invincible innocence and began to glide
towards the door so smoothly that the flame of the candle hardly swayed
»Goodnight« she murmured
»Goodnight Mademoiselle«
Then in the very doorway she turned right round as a marionette would turn
»Oh you ought to know my dear young Monsieur that Mr Blunt the dear
handsome man has arrived from Navarre three days ago or more Oh« she added
with a priceless air of compunction »he is such a charming gentleman«
And the door shut after her
IV
That night I passed in a state mostly openeyed I believe but always on the
border between dreams and waking The only thing absolutely absent from it was
the feeling of rest The unusual sufferings of a youth in love had nothing to do
with it I could leave her go away from her remain away from her without an
added pang or any augmented consciousness of that torturing sentiment of
distance so acute that often it ends by wearing itself out in a few days Far or
near was all one to me as if one could not get ever any further but also never
any nearer to her secret the state like that of some strange wild faiths that
get hold of mankind with the cruel mystic grip of unattainable perfection
robbing them of both liberty and felicity on earth A faith presents one with
some hope though But I had no hope and not even desire as a thing outside
myself that would come and go exhaust or excite It was in me just like life
was in me that life of which a popular saying affirms that it is sweet For the
general wisdom of mankind will always stop short on the limit of the formidable
What is best in a state of brimful equable suffering is that it does away
with the gnawings of petty sensations Too far gone to be sensible to hope and
desire I was spared the inferior pangs of elation and impatience Hours with her
or hours without her were all alike all in her possession But still there are
shades and I will admit that the hours of that morning were perhaps a little
more difficult to get through than the others I had sent word of my arrival of
course I had written a note I had rung the bell Therese had appeared herself
in her brown garb and as monachal as ever I had said to her
»Have this sent off at once«
She had gazed at the addressed envelope smiled I was looking up at her
from my desk and at last took it up with an effort of sanctimonious
repugnance But she remained with it in her hand looking at me as though she
were piously gloating over something she could read in my face
»Oh that Rita that Rita« she murmured »And you too Why are you trying
you too like the others to stand between her and the mercy of God Whats the
good of all this to you And you such a nice dear young gentleman For no
earthly good only making all the kind saints in heaven angry and our mother
ashamed in her place amongst the blessed«
»Mademoiselle Therese« I said »vous êtes folle«
I believe she was crazy She was cunning too I added an imperious »Allez
« and with a strange docility she glided out without another word All I had to
do then was to get dressed and wait till eleven oclock
The hour struck at last If I could have plunged into a light wave and been
transported instantaneously to Doña Ritas door it would no doubt have saved me
an infinity of pangs too complex for analysis but as this was impossible I
elected to walk from end to end of that long way My emotions and sensations
were childlike and chaotic inasmuch that they were very intense and primitive
and that I lay very helpless in their unrelaxing grasp If one could have kept a
record of ones physical sensations it would have been a fine collection of
absurdities and contradictions Hardly touching the ground and yet
leadenfooted with a sinking heart and an excited brain hot and trembling with
a secret faintness and yet as firm as a rock and with a sort of indifference to
it all I did reach the door which was frightfully like any other commonplace
door but at the same time had a fateful character a few planks put together
and an awful symbol not to be approached without awe and yet coming open in
the ordinary way to the ring of the bell
It came open Oh yes very much as usual But in the ordinary course of
events the first sight in the hall should have been the back of the ubiquitous
busy silent maid hurrying off and already distant But not at all She actually
waited for me to enter I was extremely taken aback and I believe spoke to her
for the first time in my life
Bonjour Rose
She dropped her dark eyelids over those eyes that ought to have been
lustrous but were not as if somebody had breathed on them the first thing in
the morning She was a girl without smiles She shut the door after me and not
only did that but in the incredible idleness of that morning she who had never
a moment to spare started helping me off with my overcoat It was positively
embarrassing from its novelty While busying herself with those trifles she
murmured without any marked intention
»Captain Blunt is with Madame«
This didnt exactly surprise me I knew he had come up to town I only
happened to have forgotten his existence for the moment I looked at the girl
also without any particular intention But she arrested my movement towards the
diningroom door by a low hurried if perfectly unemotional appeal
»Monsieur George«
That of course was not my name It served me then as it will serve for this
story In all sorts of strange places I was alluded to as that young gentleman
they call Monsieur George Orders came from Monsieur George to men who nodded
knowingly Events pivoted about Monsieur George I havent the slightest doubt
that in the dark and tortuous streets of the old Town there were fingers pointed
at my back there goes Monsieur George I had been introduced discreetly to
several considerable persons as Monsieur George I had learned to answer to the
name quite naturally and to simplify matters I was also Monsieur George in the
street of the Consuls and in the Villa on the Prado I verily believe that at
that time I had the feeling that the name of George really belonged to me I
waited for what the girl had to say I had to wait some time though during that
silence she gave no sign of distress or agitation It was for her obviously a
moment of reflection Her lips were compressed a little in a characteristic
capable manner I looked at her with a friendliness I really felt towards her
slight unattractive and dependable person
»Well« I said at last rather amused by this mental hesitation I never
took it for anything else I was sure it was not distrust She appreciated men
and things and events solely in relation to Doña Ritas welfare and safety And
as to that I believed myself above suspicion At last she spoke
Madame is not happy This information was given to me not emotionally but as
it were officially It hadnt even a tone of warning A mere statement Without
waiting to see the effect she opened the diningroom door not to announce my
name in the usual way but to go in and shut it behind her In that short moment
I heard no voices inside Not a sound reached me while the door remained shut
but in a few seconds it came open again and Rose stood aside to let me pass
Then I heard something Doña Ritas voice raised a little on an impatient
note a very very rare thing finishing some phrase of protest with the words
» Of no consequence«
I heard them as I would have heard any other words for she had that kind of
voice which carries a long distance But the maids statement occupied all my
mind Madame nest pas heureuse It had a dreadful precision Not happy
This unhappiness had almost a concrete form something resembling a horrid bat
I was tired excited and generally overwrought My head felt empty What were
the appearances of unhappiness I was still naïve enough to associate them with
tears lamentations extraordinary attitudes of the body and some sort of facial
distortion all very dreadful to behold I didnt know what I should see but in
what I did see there was nothing startling at any rate from that nursery point
of view which apparently I had not yet outgrown
With immense relief the apprehensive child within me beheld Captain Blunt
warming his back at the more distant of the two fireplaces and as to Doña Rita
there was nothing extraordinary in her attitude either except perhaps that her
hair was all loose about her shoulders I hadnt the slightest doubt they had
been riding together that morning but she with her impatience of all costume
and yet she could dress herself admirably and wore her dresses triumphantly
had divested herself of her riding habit and sat crosslegged enfolded in that
ample blue robe like a young savage chieftain in a blanket It covered her very
feet And before the normal fixity of her enigmatical eyes the smoke of the
cigarette ascended ceremonially straight up in a slender spiral
»How are you« was the greeting of Captain Blunt with the usual smile which
would have been more amiable if his teeth hadnt been just then clenched quite
so tight How he managed to force his voice through that shining barrier I could
never understand Doña Rita tapped the couch engagingly by her side but I sat
down instead in the armchair nearly opposite her which I imagine must have
been just vacated by Blunt She inquired with that particular gleam of the eyes
in which there was something immemorial and gay
»Well«
»Perfect success«
»I could hug you«
At any time her lips moved very little but in this instance the intense
whisper of these words seemed to form itself right in my very heart not as a
conveyed sound but as an imparted emotion vibrating there with an awful intimacy
of delight And yet it left my heart heavy
»Oh yes for joy« I said bitterly but very low »for your Royalist
Legitimist joy« Then with that trick of very precise politeness which I must
have caught from Mr Blunt I added
»I dont want to be embraced for the King«
And I might have stopped there But I didnt With a perversity which should
be forgiven to those who suffer night and day and are as if drunk with an
exalted unhappiness I went on »For the sake of an old castoff glove for I
suppose a disdained love is not much more than a soiled flabby thing that finds
itself on a private rubbish heap because it has missed the fire«
She listened to me unreadable unmoved narrowed eyes closed lips slightly
flushed face as if carved six thousand years ago in order to fix for ever that
something secret and obscure which is in all women Not the gross immobility of
a Sphinx proposing roadside riddles but the finer immobility almost sacred of
a fateful figure seated at the very source of the passions that have moved men
from the dawn of ages
Captain Blunt with his elbow on the high mantelpiece had turned away a
little from us and his attitude expressed excellently the detachment of a man
who does not want to hear As a matter of fact I dont suppose he could have
heard He was too far away our voices were too contained Moreover he didnt
want to hear There could be no doubt about it but she addressed him
unexpectedly
»As I was saying to you Don Juan I have the greatest difficulty in getting
myself I wont say understood but simply believed«
No pose of detachment could avail against the warm waves of that voice He
had to hear After a moment he altered his position as it were reluctantly to
answer her
»Thats a difficulty that women generally have«
»Yet I have always spoken the truth«
»All women speak the truth« said Blunt imperturbably And this annoyed her
»Where are the men I have deceived« she cried
»Yes where« said Blunt in a tone of alacrity as though he had been ready
to go out and look for them outside
»No But show me one I say where is he«
He threw his affectation of detachment to the winds moved his shoulders
slightly very slightly made a step nearer to the couch and looked down on her
with an expression of amused courtesy
»Oh I dont know Probably nowhere But if such a man could be found I am
certain he would turn out a very stupid person You cant be expected to furnish
every one who approaches you with a mind To expect that would be too much even
from you who know how to work wonders at such little cost to yourself«
»To myself« she repeated in a loud tone
»Why this indignation I am simply taking your word for it«
»Such little cost« she exclaimed under her breath
»I mean to your person«
»Oh yes« she murmured glanced down as it were upon herself then added
very low »This body«
»Well it is you« said Blunt with visibly contained irritation »You dont
pretend its somebody elses It cant be You havent borrowed it It fits
you too well« he ended between his teeth
»You take pleasure in tormenting yourself« she remonstrated suddenly
placated »and I would be sorry for you if I didnt think its the mere revolt
of your pride And you know you are indulging your pride at my expense As to
the rest of it as to my living acting working wonders at a little cost it
has all but killed me morally Do you hear Killed«
»Oh you are not dead yet« he muttered
»No« she said with gentle patience »There is still some feeling left in
me and if it is any satisfaction to you to know it you may be certain that I
shall be conscious of the last stab«
He remained silent for a while and then with a polite smile and a movement
of the head in my direction he warned her
»Our audience will get bored«
»I am perfectly aware that Monsieur George is here and that he has been
breathing a very different atmosphere from what he gets in this room Dont you
find this room extremely confined« she asked me
The room was very large but it is a fact that I felt oppressed at that
moment This mysterious quarrel between those two people revealing something
more close in their intercourse than I had ever before suspected made me so
profoundly unhappy that I didnt even attempt to answer And she continued
»More space More air Give me air air« She seized the embroidered edges
of her blue robe under her white throat and made as if to tear them apart to
fling it open on her breast recklessly before our eyes We both remained
perfectly still Her hands dropped nervelessly by her side »I envy you
Monsieur George If I am to go under I should prefer to be drowned in the sea
with the wind on my face What luck to feel nothing less than all the world
closing over ones head«
A short silence ensued before Mr Blunts drawingroom voice was heard with
playful familiarity
»I have often asked myself whether you werent really a very ambitious
person Doña Rita«
»And I ask myself whether you have any heart« She was looking straight at
him and he gratified her with the usual cold white flash of his even teeth
before he answered
»Asking yourself That means that you are really asking me But why do it so
publicly I mean it One single detached presence is enough to make a public
One alone Why not wait till he returns to those regions of space and air from
which he came«
His particular trick of speaking of any third person as of a lay figure was
exasperating Yet at the moment I did not know how to resent it but in any
case Doña Rita would not have given me time Without a moments hesitation she
cried out
»I only wish he could take me out there with him«
For a moment Mr Blunts face became as still as a mask and then instead of
an angry it assumed an indulgent expression As to me I had a rapid vision of
Dominics astonishment awe and sarcasm which was always as tolerant as it is
possible for sarcasm to be But what a charming gentle gay and fearless
companion she would have made I believed in her fearlessness in any adventure
that would interest her It would be a new occasion for me a new viewpoint for
that faculty of admiration she had awakened in me at sight at first sight
before she opened her lips before she ever turned her eyes on me She would
have to wear some sort of sailor costume a blue woollen shirt open at the
throat Dominics hooded cloak would envelop her amply and her face under
the black hood would have a luminous quality adolescent charm and an enigmatic
expression The confined space of the little vessels quarterdeck would lend
itself to her crosslegged attitudes and the blue sea would balance gently her
characteristic immobility that seemed to hide thoughts as old and profound as
itself As restless too perhaps
But the picture I had in my eye coloured and simple like an illustration to
a nurserybook tale of two venturesome childrens escapade was what fascinated
me most Indeed I felt that we two were like children under the gaze of a man of
the world who lived by his sword And I said recklessly
»Yes you ought to come along with us for a trip You would see a lot of
things for yourself«
Mr Blunts expression had grown even more indulgent if that were possible
Yet there was something ineradicably ambiguous about that man I did not like
the indefinable tone in which he observed
»You are perfectly reckless in what you say Doña Rita It has become a
habit with you of late«
»While with you reserve is a second nature Don Juan«
This was uttered with the gentlest almost tender irony Mr Blunt waited a
while before he said
»Certainly Would you have liked me to be otherwise«
She extended her hand to him on a sudden impulse
»Forgive me I may have been unjust and you may only have been loyal The
falseness is not in us The fault is in life itself I suppose I have been
always frank with you«
»And I obedient« he said bowing low over her hand He turned away paused
to look at me for some time and finally gave me the correct sort of nod But he
said nothing and went out or rather lounged out with his worldly manner of
perfect ease under all conceivable circumstances With her head lowered Doña
Rita watched him till he actually shut the door behind him I was facing her and
only heard the door close
»Dont stare at me« were the first words she said
It was difficult to obey that request I didnt know exactly where to look
while I sat facing her So I got up vaguely full of goodwill prepared even to
move off as far as the window when she commanded
»Dont turn your back on me«
I chose to understand it symbolically
»You know very well I could never do that I couldnt Not even if I wanted
to« And I added »Its too late now«
»Well then sit down Sit down on this couch«
I sat down on the couch Unwillingly Yes I was at that stage when all her
words all her gestures all her silences were a heavy trial to me put a stress
on my resolution on that fidelity to myself and to her which lay like a leaden
weight on my untried heart But I didnt sit down very far away from her though
that soft and billowy couch was big enough God knows No not very far from
her Selfcontrol dignity hopelessness itself have their limits The halo of
her tawny hair stirred as I let myself drop by her side Whereupon she flung one
arm round my neck leaned her temple against my shoulder and began to sob but
that I could not guess from her slight convulsive movements because in our
relative positions I could only see the mass of her tawny hair brushed back yet
with a halo of escaped hair which as I bent my head over her tickled my lips my
cheek in a maddening manner
We sat like two venturesome children in an illustration to a tale scared by
their adventure But not for long As I instinctively yet timidly sought for
her other hand I felt a tear strike the back of mine big and heavy as if fallen
from a great height It was too much for me I must have given a nervous start
At once I heard a murmur »You had better go away now«
I withdrew myself gently from under the light weight of her head from this
unspeakable bliss and inconceivable misery and had the absurd impression of
leaving her suspended in the air And I moved away on tiptoe
Like an inspired blind man led by Providence I found my way out of the room
but really I saw nothing till in the hall the maid appeared by enchantment
before me holding up my overcoat I let her help me into it And then again as
if by enchantment she had my hat in her hand
»No Madame isnt happy« I whispered to her distractedly
She let me take my hat out of her hand and while I was putting it on my head
I heard an austere whisper
»Madame should listen to her heart«
Austere is not the word it was almost freezing this unexpected
dispassionate rustle of words I had to repress a shudder and as coldly as
herself I murmured
»She has done that once too often«
Rose was standing very close to me and I caught distinctly the note of scorn
in her indulgent compassion
»Oh that Madame is like a child«
It was impossible to get the bearing of that utterance from that girl who
as Doña Rita herself had told me was the most taciturn of human beings and yet
of all human beings the one nearest to herself I seized her head in my hands
and turning up her face I looked straight down into her black eyes which should
have been lustrous Like a piece of glass breathed upon they reflected no light
revealed no depths and under my ardent gaze remained tarnished misty
unconscious
»Will Monsieur kindly let me go Monsieur shouldnt play the child either«
I let her go »Madame could have the world at her feet Indeed she has it
there only she doesnt care for it«
How talkative she was this maid with unsealed lips For some reason or
other this last statement of hers brought me immense comfort
»Yes« I whispered breathlessly
»Yes But in that case whats the use of living in fear and torment« she
went on revealing a little more of herself to my astonishment She opened the
door for me and added
»Those that dont care to stoop ought at least make themselves happy«
I turned in the very doorway »There is something which prevents that« I
suggested
»To be sure there is Bonjour Monsieur«
Part Four
I
»Such a charming lady in a grey silk dress and a hand as white as snow She
looked at me through such funny glasses on the end of a long handle A very
great lady but her voice was as kind as the voice of a saint I have never seen
anything like that She made me feel so timid«
The voice uttering these words was the voice of Therese and I looked at her
from a bed draped heavily in brown silk curtains fantastically looped up from
ceiling to floor The glow of a sunshiny day was toned down by closed jalousies
to a mere transparency of darkness In this thin medium Thereses form appeared
flat without detail as if cut out of black paper It glided towards the window
and with a click and a scrape let in the full flood of light which smote my
aching eyeballs painfully
In truth all that night had been the abomination of desolation to me After
wrestling with my thoughts if the acute consciousness of a womans existence
may be called a thought I had apparently dropped off to sleep only to go on
wrestling with a nightmare a senseless and terrifying dream of being in bonds
which even after waking made me feel powerless in all my limbs I lay still
suffering acutely from a renewed sense of existence unable to lift an arm and
wondering why I was not at sea how long I had slept how long Therese had been
talking before her voice had reached me in that purgatory of hopeless longing
and unanswerable questions to which I was condemned
It was Thereses habit to begin talking directly she entered the room with
the tray of morning coffee This was her method for waking me up I generally
regained the consciousness of the external world on some pious phrase asserting
the spiritual comfort of early mass or on angry lamentations about the
unconscionable rapacity of the dealers in fish and vegetables for after mass it
was Thereses practice to do the marketing for the house As a matter of fact
the necessity of having to pay to actually give money to people infuriated the
pious Therese But the matter of this mornings speech was so extraordinary that
it might have been the prolongation of a nightmare a man in bonds having to
listen to weird and unaccountable speeches against which he doesnt know why
his very soul revolts
In sober truth my soul remained in revolt though I was convinced that I was
no longer dreaming I watched Therese coming away from the window with that
helpless dread a man bound hand and foot may be excused to feel For in such a
situation even the absurd may appear ominous She came up close to the bed and
folding her hands meekly in front of her turned her eyes up to the ceiling
»If I had been her daughter she couldnt have spoken more softly to me« she
said sentimentally
I made a great effort to speak
»Mademoiselle Therese you are raving«
»She addressed me as Mademoiselle too so nicely I was struck with
veneration for her white hair but her face believe me my dear young Monsieur
has not so many wrinkles as mine«
She compressed her lips with an angry glance at me as if I could help her
wrinkles then she sighed
»God sends wrinkles but what is our face« she digressed in a tone of great
humility »We shall have glorious faces in Paradise But meantime God has
permitted me to preserve a smooth heart«
»Are you going to keep on like this much longer« I fairly shouted at her
»What are you talking about«
»I am talking about the sweet old lady who came in a carriage Not a fiacre
I can tell a fiacre In a little carriage shut in with glass all in front I
suppose she is very rich The carriage was very shiny outside and all beautiful
grey stuff inside I opened the door to her myself She got out slowly like a
queen I was struck all of a heap Such a shiny beautiful little carriage There
were blue silk tassels inside beautiful silk tassels«
Obviously Therese had been very much impressed by a brougham though she
didnt know the name for it Of all the town she knew nothing but the streets
which led to a neighbouring church frequented only by the poorer classes and the
humble quarter around where she did her marketing Besides she was accustomed
to glide along the walls with her eyes cast down for her natural boldness would
never show itself through that nunlike mien except when bargaining if only on
a matter of threepence Such a turnout had never been presented to her notice
before The traffic in the street of the Consuls was mostly pedestrian and far
from fashionable And anyhow Therese never looked out of the window She lurked
in the depths of the house like some kind of spider that shuns attention She
used to dart at one from some dark recesses which I never explored
Yet it seemed to me that she exaggerated her raptures for some reason or
other With her it was very difficult to distinguish between craft and
innocence
»Do you mean to say« I asked suspiciously »that an old lady wants to hire
an apartment here I hope you told her there was no room because you know
this house is not exactly the thing for venerable old ladies«
»Dont make me angry my dear young Monsieur I have been to confession this
morning Arent you comfortable Isnt the house appointed richly enough for
anybody«
That girl with a peasantnuns face had never seen the inside of a house
other than some halfruined caserio in her native hills
I pointed out to her that this was not a matter of splendour or comfort but
of convenances She pricked up her ears at that word which probably she had
never heard before but with womans uncanny intuition I believe she understood
perfectly what I meant Her air of saintly patience became so pronounced that
with my own poor intuition I perceived that she was raging at me inwardly Her
weathertanned complexion already affected by her confined life took on an
extraordinary clayey aspect which reminded me of a strange head painted by El
Greco which my friend Prax had hung on one of his walls and used to rail at yet
not without a certain respect
Therese with her hands still meekly folded about her waist had mastered
the feelings of anger so unbecoming to a person whose sins had been absolved
only about three hours before and asked me with an insinuating softness whether
she wasnt an honest girl enough to look after any old lady belonging to a world
which after all was sinful She reminded me that she had kept house ever since
she was so high for her uncle the priest a man wellknown for his saintliness
in a large district extending even beyond Pampeluna The character of a house
depended upon the person who ruled it She didnt know what impenitent wretches
had been breathing within these walls in the time of that godless and wicked man
who had planted every seed of perdition in our Ritas illdisposed heart But he
was dead and she Therese knew for certain that wickedness perished utterly
because of Gods anger la colère du bon Dieu She would have no hesitation in
receiving a bishop if need be since our Rita with her poor wretched
unbelieving heart had nothing more to do with the house
All this came out of her like an unctuous trickle of some acrid oil The
low voluble delivery was enough by itself to compel my attention
»You think you know your sisters heart« I asked
She made small eyes at me to discover if I was angry She seemed to have an
invincible faith in the virtuous dispositions of young men And as I had spoken
in measured tones and hadnt got red in the face she let herself go
»Black my dear young Monsieur Black I always knew it Uncle poor saintly
man was too holy to take notice of anything He was too busy with his thoughts
to listen to anything I had to say to him For instance as to her shamelessness
She was always ready to run half naked about the hills «
»Yes After your goats All day long Why didnt you mend her frocks«
»Oh you know about the goats My dear young Monsieur I could never tell
when she would fling over her pretended sweetness and put her tongue out at me
Did she tell you about a boy the son of pious and rich parents whom she tried
to lead astray into the wildness of thoughts like her own till the poor dear
child drove her off because she outraged his modesty I saw him often with his
parents at Sunday mass The grace of God preserved him and made him quite a
gentleman in Paris Perhaps it will touch Ritas heart too some day But she
was awful then When I wouldnt listen to her complaints she would say All
right sister I would just as soon go clothed in rain and wind And such a bag
of bones too like the picture of a devils imp Ah my dear young Monsieur
you dont know how wicked her heart is You arent bad enough for that yourself
I dont believe you are evil at all in your innocent little heart I never heard
you jeer at holy things You are only thoughtless For instance I have never
seen you make the sign of the cross in the morning Why dont you make a
practice of crossing yourself directly you open your eyes Its a very good
thing It keeps Satan off for the day«
She proffered that advice in a most matteroffact tone as if it were a
precaution against a cold compressed her lips then returning to her fixed
idea but the house is mine she insisted very quietly with an accent which made
me feel that Satan himself would never manage to tear it out of her hands
»And so I told the great lady in grey I told her that my sister had given
it to me and that surely God would not let her take it away again«
»You told that greyheaded lady an utter stranger You are getting more
crazy every day You have neither good sense nor good feeling Mademoiselle
Therese let me tell you Do you talk about your sister to the butcher and the
greengrocer too A downright savage would have more restraint Whats your
object What do you expect from it What pleasure do you get from it Do you
think you please God by abusing your sister What do you think you are«
»A poor lone girl amongst a lot of wicked people Do you think I want to go
forth amongst those abominations Its that poor sinful Rita that wouldnt let
me be where I was serving a holy man next door to a church and sure of my
share of Paradise I simply obeyed my uncle Its he who told me to go forth and
attempt to save her soul bring her back to us to a virtuous life But what
would be the good of that She is given over to worldly carnal thoughts Of
course we are a good family and my uncle is a great man in the country but
where is the reputable farmer or Godfearing man of that kind that would dare to
bring such a girl into his house to his mother and sisters No let her give her
illgotten wealth up to the deserving and devote the rest of her life to
repentance«
She uttered these righteous reflections and presented this programme for the
salvation of her sisters soul in a reasonable convinced tone which was enough
to give goose flesh to one all over
»Mademoiselle Therese« I said »you are nothing less than a monster«
She received that true expression of my opinion as though I had given her a
sweet of a particularly delicious kind She liked to be abused It pleased her
to be called names I did let her have that satisfaction to her hearts content
At last I stopped because I could do no more unless I got out of bed to beat
her I have a vague notion that she would have liked that too but I didnt
try After I had stopped she waited a little before she raised her downcast
eyes
»You are a dear ignorant flighty young gentleman« she said »Nobody can
tell what a cross my sister is to me except the good priest in the church where
I go every day«
»And the mysterious lady in grey« I suggested sarcastically
»Such a person might have guessed it« answered Therese seriously »but I
told her nothing except that this house had been given me in full property by
our Rita And I wouldnt have done that if she hadnt spoken to me of my sister
first I cant tell too many people about that One cant trust Rita I know she
doesnt fear God but perhaps human respect may keep her from taking this house
back from me If she doesnt want me to talk about her to people why doesnt she
give me a properly stamped piece of paper for it«
She said all this rapidly in one breath and at the end had a sort of anxious
gasp which gave me the opportunity to voice my surprise It was immense
»That lady the strange lady spoke to you of your sister first« I cried
»The lady asked me after she had been in a little time whether really this
house belonged to Madame de Lastaola She had been so sweet and kind and
condescending that I did not mind humiliating my spirit before such a good
Christian I told her that I didnt know how the poor sinner in her mad
blindness called herself but that this house had been given to me truly enough
by my sister She raised her eyebrows at that but she looked at me at the same
time so kindly as much as to say Dont trust much to that my dear girl that
I couldnt help taking up her hand soft as down and kissing it She took it
away pretty quick but she was not offended But she only said Thats very
generous on your sisters part in a way that made me run cold all over I
suppose all the world knows our Rita for a shameless girl It was then that the
lady took up those glasses on a long gold handle and looked at me through them
till I felt very much abashed She said to me There is nothing to be unhappy
about Madame de Lastaola is a very remarkable person who has done many
surprising things She is not to be judged like other people and as far as I
know she has never wronged a single human being That put heart into me I
can tell you and the lady told me then not to disturb her son She would wait
till he woke up She knew he was a bad sleeper I said to her Why I can hear
the dear sweet gentleman this moment having his bath in the fencingroom and I
took her into the studio They are there now and they are going to have their
lunch together at twelve oclock«
»Why on earth didnt you tell me at first that the lady was Mrs Blunt«
»Didnt I I thought I did« she said innocently I felt a sudden desire to
get out of that house to fly from the reinforced Blunt element which was to me
so oppressive
»I want to get up and dress Mademoiselle Therese« I said
She gave a slight start and without looking at me again glided out of the
room the many folds of her brown skirt remaining undisturbed as she moved
I looked at my watch it was ten oclock Therese had been late with my
coffee The delay was clearly caused by the unexpected arrival of Mr Blunts
mother which might or might not have been expected by her son The existence of
those Blunts made me feel uncomfortable in a peculiar way as though they had
been the denizens of another planet with a subtly different point of view and
something in the intelligence which was bound to remain unknown to me It caused
in me a feeling of inferiority which I intensely disliked This did not arise
from the actual fact that those people originated in another continent I had
met Americans before And the Blunts were Americans But so little That was the
trouble Captain Blunt might have been a Frenchman as far as languages tones
and manners went But you could not have mistaken him for one Why You
couldnt tell It was something indefinite It occurred to me while I was
towelling hard my hair face and the back of my neck that I could not meet J
K Blunt on equal terms in any relation of life except perhaps arms in hand and
in preference with pistols which are less intimate acting at a distance but
arms of some sort For physically his life which could be taken away from him
was exactly like mine held on the same terms and of the same vanishing quality
I would have smiled at my absurdity if all even the most intimate vestige
of gaiety had not been crushed out of my heart by the intolerable weight of my
love for Rita It crushed it overshadowed too it was immense If there were
any smiles in the world which I didnt believe I could not have seen them
Love for Rita if it was love I asked myself despairingly while I brushed
my hair before a glass It did not seem to have any sort of beginning as far as
I could remember A thing the origin of which you cannot trace cannot be
seriously considered It is an illusion Or perhaps mine was a physical state
some sort of disease akin to melancholia which is a form of insanity The only
moments of relief I could remember were when she and I would start squabbling
like two passionate infants in a nursery over anything under heaven over a
phrase a word sometimes in the great light of the glass rotunda disregarding
the quiet entrances and exits of the ever Rose in great bursts of voices and
peals of laughter
I felt tears come into my eyes at the memory of her laughter the true
memory of the senses almost more penetrating than the reality itself It haunted
me All that appertained to her haunted me with the same awful intimacy her
whole form in the familiar pose her very substance in its colour and texture
her eyes her lips the gleam of her teeth the tawny mist of her hair the
smoothness of her forehead the faint scent that she used the very shape feel
and warmth of her highheeled slipper that would sometimes in the heat of the
discussion drop on the floor with a crash and which I would always in the heat
of the discussion pick up and toss back on the couch without ceasing to argue
And besides being haunted by what was Rita on earth I was haunted also by her
waywardness her gentleness and her flame by that which the high gods called
Rita when speaking of her amongst themselves Oh yes certainly I was haunted
by her but so was her sister Therese who was crazy It proved nothing As to
her tears since I had not caused them they only aroused my indignation To put
her head on my shoulder to weep these strange tears was nothing short of an
outrageous liberty It was a mere emotional trick She would have just as soon
leaned her head against the overmantel of one of those tall red granite
chimneypieces in order to weep comfortably And then when she had no longer any
need of support she dispensed with it by simply telling me to go away How
convenient The request had sounded pathetic almost sacredly so but then it
might have been the exhibition of the coolest possible impudence With her one
could not tell Sorrow indifference tears smiles all with her seemed to have
a hidden meaning Nothing could be trusted »Heavens Am I as crazy as
Therese« I asked myself with a passing chill of fear while occupied in
equalizing the ends of my necktie
I felt suddenly that this sort of thing would kill me The definition of the
cause was vague but the thought itself was no mere morbid artificiality of
sentiment but a genuine conviction That sort of thing was what I would have to
die from It wouldnt be from the innumerable doubts Any sort of certitude
would be also deadly It wouldnt be from a stab a kiss would kill me as
surely It would not be from a frown or from any particular word or any
particular act but from having to bear them all together and in succession
from having to live with that sort of thing About the time I finished with my
necktie I had done with life too I absolutely did not care because I couldnt
tell whether mentally and physically from the roots of my hair to the soles of
my feet whether I was more weary or unhappy
And now my toilet was finished my occupation was gone An immense distress
descended upon me It has been observed that the routine of daily life that
arbitrary system of trifles is a great moral support But my toilet was
finished I had nothing more to do of those things consecrated by usage and
which leave you no option The exercise of any kind of volition by a man whose
consciousness is reduced to the sensation that he is being killed by that sort
of thing cannot be anything but mere trifling with death an insincere pose
before himself I wasnt capable of it It was then that I discovered that being
killed by that sort of thing I mean the absolute conviction of it was so to
speak nothing in itself The horrible part was the waiting That was the
cruelty the tragedy the bitterness of it »Why the devil dont I drop dead
now« I asked myself peevishly taking a clean handkerchief out of the drawer
and stuffing it in my pocket
This was absolutely the last thing the last ceremony of an imperative rite
I was abandoned to myself now and it was terrible Generally I used to go out
walk down to the port take a look at the craft I loved with a sentiment that
was extremely complex being mixed up with the image of a woman perhaps go on
board not because there was anything for me to do there but just for nothing
for happiness simply as a man will sit contented in the companionship of the
beloved object For lunch I had the choice of two places one Bohemian the
other select even aristocratic where I had still my reserved table in the
petit salon up the white staircase In both places I had friends who treated my
erratic appearances with discretion in one case tinged with respect in the
other with a certain amused tolerance I owed this tolerance to the most
careless the most confirmed of those Bohemians his beard had streaks of grey
amongst its many other tints who once bringing his heavy hand down on my
shoulder took my defence against the charge of being disloyal and even foreign
to that milieu of earnest visions taking beautiful and revolutionary shapes in
the smoke of pipes in the jingle of glasses
»That fellow ce garçon is a primitive nature but he may be an artist in a
sense He has broken away from his conventions He is trying to put a special
vibration and his own notion of colour into his life and perhaps even to give
it a modelling according to his own ideas And for all you know he may be on the
track of a masterpiece but observe if it happens to be one nobody will see it
It can be only for himself And even he wont be able to see it in its
completeness except on his deathbed There is something fine in that«
I had blushed with pleasure such fine ideas had never entered my head But
there was something fine How far all this seemed How mute and how still
What a phantom he was that man with a beard of at least seven tones of brown
And those shades of the other kind such as Baptiste with the shaven diplomatic
face the maître dhotel in charge of the petit salon taking my hat and stick
from me with a deferential remark »Monsieur is not very often seen nowadays«
And those other wellgroomed heads raised and nodding at my passage »Bonjour«
»Bonjour« following me with interested eyes these young Xs and Zs
lowtoned markedly discreet lounging up to my table on their way out with
murmurs »Are you well« »Will one see you anywhere this evening« not from
curiosity God forbid but just from friendliness and passing on almost without
waiting for an answer What had I to do with them this elegant dust these
moulds of provincial fashion
I also often lunched with Doña Rita without invitation But that was now
unthinkable What had I to do with a woman who allowed somebody else to make her
cry and then with an amazing lack of good feeling did her offensive weeping on
my shoulder Obviously I could have nothing to do with her My five minutes
meditation in the middle of the bedroom came to an end without even a sigh The
dead dont sigh and for all practical purposes I was that except for the final
consummation the growing cold the rigor mortis that blessed state With
measured steps I crossed the landing to my sittingroom
II
The windows of that room gave out on the street of the Consuls which as usual
was silent And the house itself below me and above me was soundless perfectly
still In general the house was quiet dumbly quiet without resonances of any
sort something like what one would imagine the interior of a convent would be
I suppose it was very solidly built Yet that morning I missed in the stillness
that feeling of security and peace which ought to have been associated with it
It is I believe generally admitted that the dead are glad to be at rest But I
wasnt at rest What was wrong with that silence There was something
incongruous in that peace What was it that had got into that stillness
Suddenly I remembered the mother of Captain Blunt
Why had she come all the way from Paris And why should I bother my head
about it Hm the Blunt atmosphere the reinforced Blunt vibration stealing
through the walls through the thick walls and the almost more solid stillness
Nothing to me of course the movements of Mme Blunt mère It was maternal
affection which had brought her south by either the evening or morning Rapide
to take anxious stock of the ravages of that insomnia Very good thing
insomnia for a cavalry officer perpetually on outpost duty a real godsend so
to speak but on leave a truly devilish condition to be in
The above sequence of thoughts was entirely unsympathetic and it was
followed by a feeling of satisfaction that I at any rate was not suffering
from insomnia I could always sleep in the end In the end Escape into a
nightmare Wouldnt he revel in that if he could But that wasnt for him He
had to toss about openeyed all night and get up weary weary But oh wasnt I
weary too waiting for a sleep without dreams
I heard the door behind me open I had been standing with my face to the
window and I declare not knowing what I was looking at across the road the
Desert of Sahara or a wall of bricks a landscape of rivers and forests or only
the Consulate of Paraguay But I had been thinking apparently of Mr Blunt
with such intensity that when I saw him enter the room it didnt really make
much difference When I turned about the door behind him was already shut He
advanced towards me correct supple holloweyed and smiling and as to his
costume ready to go out except for the old shooting jacket which he must have
affectioned particularly for he never lost any time in getting into it at every
opportunity Its material was some tweed mixture it had gone inconceivably
shabby it was shrunk from old age it was ragged at the elbows but any one
could see at a glance that it had been made in London by a celebrated tailor by
a distinguished specialist Blunt came towards me in all the elegance of his
slimness and affirming in every line of his face and body in the correct set of
his shoulders and the careless freedom of his movements the superiority the
inexpressible superiority the unconscious the unmarked the
nottobedescribed and even nottobecaught superiority of the naturally
born and the perfectly finished man of the world over the simple young man He
was smiling easy correct perfectly delightful fit to kill
He had come to ask me if I had no other engagement to lunch with him and
his mother in about an hours time He did it in a most dégagé tone His mother
had given him a surprise The completest The foundation of his mothers
psychology was her delightful unexpectedness She could never let things be
this in a peculiar tone which he checked at once and he really would take it
very kindly of me if I came to break the têteàtête for a while that is if I
had no other engagement Flash of teeth His mother was exquisitely and
tenderly absurd She had taken it into her head that his health was endangered
in some way And when she took anything into her head Perhaps I might find
something to say which would reassure her His mother had two long conversations
with Mills on his passage through Paris and had heard of me I knew how that
thick man could speak of people he interjected ambiguously and his mother
with an insatiable curiosity for anything that was rare filially humorous
accent here and a softer flash of teeth was very anxious to have me presented
to her courteous intonation but no teeth He hoped I wouldnt mind if she
treated me a little as an interesting young man His mother had never got over
her seventeenth year and the manner of the spoilt beauty of at least three
counties at the back of the Carolinas That again got overlaid by the sansfaçon
of a grande dame of the Second Empire
I accepted the invitation with a worldly grin and a perfectly just
intonation because I really didnt care what I did I only wondered vaguely why
that fellow required all the air in the room for himself There did not seem
enough left to go down my throat I didnt say that I would come with pleasure
or that I would be delighted but I said that I would come He seemed to forget
his tongue in his head put his hands in his pockets and moved about vaguely »I
am a little nervous this morning« he said in French stopping short and looking
me straight in the eyes His own were deep sunk dark fatal I asked with some
malice that no one could have detected in my intonation »Hows that
sleeplessness«
He muttered through his teeth »Mal Je ne dors plus« He moved off to stand
at the window with his back to the room I sat down on a sofa that was there and
put my feet up and silence took possession of the room
»Isnt this street ridiculous« said Blunt suddenly and crossing the room
rapidly waved his hand to me »A bientôt donc« and was gone He had seared
himself into my mind I did not understand him nor his mother then which made
them more impressive but I have discovered since that those two figures
required no mystery to make them memorable Of course it isnt every day that
one meets a mother that lives by her wits and a son that lives by his sword but
there was a perfect finish about their ambiguous personalities which is not to
be met twice in a lifetime I shall never forget that grey dress with ample
skirts and long corsage yet with infinite style the ancient as if ghostly
beauty of outlines the black lace the silver hair the harmonious restrained
movements of those white soft hands like the hands of a queen or an abbess
and in the general fresh effect of her person the brilliant eyes like two stars
with the calm reposeful way they had of moving on and off one as if nothing in
the world had the right to veil itself before their once sovereign beauty
Captain Blunt with smiling formality introduced me by name adding with a
certain relaxation of the formal tone the comment »The Monsieur George whose
fame you tell me has reached even Paris« Mrs Blunts reception of me glance
tones even to the attitude of the admirably corseted figure was most friendly
approaching the limit of halffamiliarity I had the feeling that I was
beholding in her a captured ideal No common experience But I didnt care It
was very lucky perhaps for me that in a way I was like a very sick man who has
yet preserved all his lucidity I was not even wondering to myself at what on
earth I was doing there She breathed out »Comme cest romantique« at large to
the dusty studio as it were then pointing to a chair at her right hand and
bending slightly towards me she said
»I have heard this name murmured by pretty lips in more than one royalist
salon«
I didnt say anything to that ingratiating speech I had only an odd thought
that she could not have had such a figure nothing like it when she was
seventeen and wore snowy muslin dresses on the family plantation in South
Carolina in preabolition days
»You wont mind I am sure if an old woman whose heart is still young
elects to call you by it« she declared
»Certainly Madame It will be more romantic« I assented with a respectful
bow
She dropped a calm »Yes there is nothing like romance while one is young
So I will call you Monsieur George« she paused and then added »I could never
got old« in a matteroffact final tone as one would remark »I could never
learn to swim« and I had the presence of mind to say in a tone to match »Cest
évident Madame« It was evident She couldnt get old and across the table her
thirtyyearold son who couldnt get sleep sat listening with courteous
detachment and the narrowest possible line of white underlining his silky black
moustache
»Your services are immensely appreciated« she said with an amusing touch of
importance as of a great official lady »Immensely appreciated by people in a
position to understand the great significance of the Carlist movement in the
South There it has to combat anarchism too I who have lived through the
Commune «
Therese came in with a dish and for the rest of the lunch the conversation
so well begun drifted amongst the most appalling inanities of the
religiousroyalistlegitimist order The ears of all the Bourbons in the world
must have been burning Mrs Blunt seemed to have come into personal contact
with a good many of them and the marvellous insipidity of her recollections was
astonishing to my inexperience I looked at her from time to time thinking She
has seen slavery she has seen the Commune she knows two continents she has
seen a civil war the glory of the Second Empire the horrors of two sieges she
has been in contact with marked personalities with great events she has lived
on her wealth on her personality and there she is with her plumage unruffled
as glossy as ever unable to get old a sort of Phoenix free from the
slightest signs of ashes and dust all complacent amongst those inanities as if
there had been nothing else in the world In my youthful haste I asked myself
what sort of airy soul she had
At last Therese put a dish of fruit on the table a small collection of
oranges raisins and nuts No doubt she had bought that lot very cheap and it
did not look at all inviting Captain Blunt jumped up »My mother cant stand
tobacco smoke Will you keep her company mon cher while I take a turn with a
cigar in that ridiculous garden The brougham from the hotel will be here very
soon«
He left us in the white flash of an apologetic grin Almost directly he
reappeared visible from head to foot through the glass side of the studio
pacing up and down the central path of that ridiculous garden for its elegance
and its air of good breeding the most remarkable figure that I have ever seen
before or since He had changed his coat Madame Blunt mère lowered the
longhandled glasses through which she had been contemplating him with an
appraising absorbed expression which had nothing maternal in it But what she
said to me was
»You understand my anxieties while he is campaigning with the King«
She had spoken in French and she had used the expression mes transes but for
all the rest intonation bearing solemnity she might have been referring to
one of the Bourbons I am sure that not a single one of them looked half as
aristocratic as her son
»I understand perfectly Madame But then that life is so romantic«
»Hundreds of young men belonging to a certain sphere are doing that« she
said very distinctly »only their case is different They have their positions
their families to go back to but we are different We are exiles except of
course for the ideals the kindred spirit the friendships of old standing we
have in France Should my son come out unscathed he has no one but me and I have
no one but him I have to think of his life Mr Mills what a distinguished
mind that is has reassured me as to my sons health But he sleeps very badly
doesnt he«
I murmured something affirmative in a doubtful tone and she remarked
quaintly with a certain curtness »Its so unnecessary this worry The
unfortunate position of an exile has its advantages At a certain height of
social position wealth has got nothing to do with it we have been ruined in a
most righteous cause at a certain established height one can disregard narrow
prejudices You see examples in the aristocracies of all the countries A
chivalrous young American may offer his life for a remote ideal which yet may
belong to his familial tradition We in our great country have every sort of
tradition But a young man of good connections and distinguished relations must
settle down some day dispose of his life«
»No doubt Madame« I said raising my eyes to the figure outside »
Américain Catholique et gentilhomme« walking up and down the path with a
cigar which he was not smoking »For myself I dont know anything about those
necessities I have broken away for ever from those things«
»Yes Mr Mills talked to me about you What a golden heart that is His
sympathies are infinite«
I thought suddenly of Mills pronouncing on Mme Blunt whatever his text on
me might have been »She lives by her wits« Was she exercising her wits on me
for some purpose of her own And I observed coldly
»I really know your son so very little«
»Oh voyons« she protested »I am aware that you are very much younger but
the similitudes of opinions origins and perhaps at bottom faintly of
character of chivalrous devotion no you must be able to understand him in a
measure He is infinitely scrupulous and recklessly brave«
I listened deferentially to the end yet with every nerve in my body tingling
in hostile response to the Blunt vibration which seemed to have got into my
very hair
»I am convinced of it Madame I have even heard of your sons bravery Its
extremely natural in a man who in his own words lives by his sword«
She suddenly departed from her almost inhuman perfection betrayed nerves
like a common mortal of course very slightly but in her it meant more than a
blaze of fury from a vessel of inferior clay Her admirable little foot
marvellously shod in a black shoe tapped the floor irritably But even in that
display there was something exquisitely delicate The very anger in her voice
was silvery as it were and more like the petulance of a seventeenyearold
beauty
»What nonsense A Blunt doesnt hire himself«
»Some princely families« I said »were founded by men who have done that
very thing The great Condottieri you know«
It was in an almost tempestuous tone that she made me observe that we were
not living in the fifteenth century She gave me also to understand with some
spirit that there was no question here of founding a family Her son was very
far from being the first of the name His importance lay rather in being the
last of a race which had totally perished she added in a completely
drawingroom tone in our Civil War
She had mastered her irritation and through the glass side of the room sent
a wistful smile to his address but I noticed the yet unextinguished anger in
her eyes full of fire under her beautiful white eyebrows For she was growing
old Oh yes she was growing old and secretly weary and perhaps desperate
III
Without caring much about it I was conscious of sudden illumination I said to
myself confidently that these two people had been quarrelling all the morning I
had discovered the secret of my invitation to that lunch They did not care to
face the strain of some obstinate inconclusive discussion for fear maybe of
it ending in a serious quarrel And so they had agreed that I should be fetched
downstairs to create a diversion I cannot say I felt annoyed I didnt care My
perspicacity did not please me either I wished they had left me alone but
nothing mattered They must have been in their superiority accustomed to make
use of people without compunction From necessity too She especially She
lived by her wits The silence had grown so marked that I had at last to raise
my eyes and the first thing I observed was that Captain Blunt was no longer to
be seen in the garden Must have gone indoors Would rejoin us in a moment Then
I would leave mother and son to themselves
The next thing I noticed was that a great mellowness had descended upon the
mother of the last of his race But these terms irritation mellowness
appeared gross when applied to her It is impossible to give an idea of the
refinement and subtlety of all her transformations She smiled faintly at me
»But all this is beside the point The real point is that my son like all
fine natures is a being of strange contradictions which the trials of life have
not yet reconciled in him With me it is a little different The trials fell
mainly to my share and of course I have lived longer And then men are much
more complex than women much more difficult too And you Monsieur George Are
you complex with unexpected resistances and difficulties in your être intime
your inner self I wonder now «
The Blunt atmosphere seemed to vibrate all over my skin I disregarded the
symptom »Madame« I said »I have never tried to find out what sort of being I
am«
»Ah thats very wrong We ought to reflect on what manner of beings we are
Of course we are all sinners My John is a sinner like the others« she declared
further with a sort of proud tenderness as though our common lot must have felt
honoured and to a certain extent purified by this condescending recognition
»You are too young perhaps as yet But as to my John« she broke off
leaning her elbow on the table and supporting her head on her old impeccably
shaped white forearm emerging from a lot of precious still older lace
trimming the short sleeve »The trouble is that he suffers from a profound
discord between the necessary reactions to life and even the impulses of nature
and the lofty idealism of his feelings I may say of his principles I assure
you that he wont even let his heart speak uncontradicted«
I am sure I dont know what particular devil looks after the associations of
memory and I cant even imagine the shock which it would have been for Mrs
Blunt to learn that the words issuing from her lips had awakened in me the
visual perception of a darkskinned harddriven ladys maid with tarnished
eyes even of the tireless Rose handing me my hat while breathing out the
enigmatic words »Madame should listen to her heart« A wave from the atmosphere
of another house rolled in overwhelming and fiery seductive and cruel through
the Blunt vibration bursting through it as through tissue paper and filling my
heart with sweet murmurs and distracting images till it seemed to break
leaving an empty stillness in my breast
After that for a long time I heard Mme Blunt mère talking with extreme
fluency and I even caught the individual words but I could not in the revulsion
of my feelings get hold of the sense She talked apparently of life in general
of its difficulties moral and physical of its surprising turns of its
unexpected contacts of the choice and rare personalities that drift on it as if
on the sea of the distinction that letters and art gave to it the nobility and
consolations there are in æsthetics of the privileges they confer on
individuals and this was the first connected statement I caught that Mills
agreed with her in the general point of view as to the inner worth of
individualities and in the particular instance of it on which she had opened to
him her innermost heart Mills had a universal mind His sympathy was universal
too He had that large comprehension oh not cynical not at all cynical in
fact rather tender which was found in its perfection only in some rare very
rare Englishmen The dear creature was romantic too Of course he was reserved
in his speech but she understood Mills perfectly Mills apparently liked me very
much
It was time for me to say something There was a challenge in the reposeful
black eyes resting upon my face I murmured that I was very glad to hear it She
waited a little then uttered meaningly »Mr Mills is a little bit uneasy about
you«
»Its very good of him« I said And indeed I thought that it was very good
of him though I did ask myself vaguely in my dulled brain why he should be
uneasy Somehow it didnt occur to me to ask Mrs Blunt Whether she had
expected me to do so or not I dont know but after a while she changed the pose
she had kept so long and folded her wonderfully preserved white arms She looked
a perfect picture in silver and grey with touches of black here and there
Still I said nothing more in my dull misery She waited a little longer then
she woke me up with a crash It was as if the house had fallen and yet she had
only asked me
»I believe you are received on very friendly terms by Madame de Lastaola on
account of your common exertions for the cause Very good friends are you not«
»You mean Rita« I said stupidly but I felt stupid like a man who wakes up
only to be hit on the head
»Oh Rita« she repeated with unexpected acidity which somehow made me feel
guilty of an incredible breach of good manners »Hm Rita Oh well let it
be Rita for the present Though why she should be deprived of her name in
conversation about her really I dont understand Unless a very special
intimacy «
She was distinctly annoyed I said sulkily »It isnt her name«
»It is her choice I understand which seems almost a better title to
recognition on the part of the world It didnt strike you so before Well it
seems to me that choice has got more right to be respected than heredity or law
Moreover Mme de Lastaola« she continued in an insinuating voice »that most
rare and fascinating young woman is as a friend like you cannot deny outside
legality altogether Even in that she is an exceptional creature For she is
exceptional you agree«
I had gone dumb I could only stare at her
»Oh I see you agree No friend of hers could deny«
»Madame« I burst out »I dont know where a question of friendship comes in
here with a person whom you yourself call so exceptional I really dont know
how she looks upon me Our intercourse is of course very close and confidential
Is that also talked about in Paris«
»Not at all not in the least« said Mrs Blunt easy equable but with her
calm sparkling eyes holding me in angry subjection »Nothing of the sort is
being talked about The references to Mme de Lastaola are in a very different
tone I can assure you thanks to her discretion in remaining here And I must
say thanks to the discreet efforts of her friends I am also a friend of Mme
de Lastaola you must know Oh no I have never spoken to her in my life and
have seen her only twice I believe I wrote to her though that I admit She or
rather the image of her has come into my life into that part of it where art
and letters reign undisputed like a sort of religion of beauty to which I have
been faithful through all the vicissitudes of my existence Yes I did write to
her and I have been preoccupied with her for a long time It arose from a
picture from two pictures and also from a phrase pronounced by a man who in
the science of life and in the perception of æsthetic truth had no equal in the
world of culture He said that there was something in her of the women of all
time I suppose he meant the inheritance of all the gifts that make up an
irresistible fascination a great personality Such women are not born often
Most of them lack opportunities They never develop They end obscurely Here
and there one survives to make her mark even in history And even that is
not a very enviable fate They are at another pole from the socalled dangerous
women who are merely coquettes A coquette has got to work for her success The
others have nothing to do but simply exist You perceive the view I take of the
difference«
I perceived the view I said to myself that nothing in the world could be
more aristocratic This was the slaveowning woman who had never worked even if
she had been reduced to live by her wits She was a wonderful old woman She
made me dumb She held me fascinated by the wellbred attitude something
sublimely aloof in her air of wisdom
I just simply let myself go admiring her as though I had been a mere slave
of æsthetics the perfect grace the amazing poise of that venerable head the
assured as if royal yes royal even flow of the voice But what was it
she was talking about now These were no longer considerations about fatal
women She was talking about her son again My interest turned into mere
bitterness of contemptuous attention For I couldnt withhold it though I tried
to let the stuff go by Educated in the most aristocratic college in Paris
at eighteen call of duty with General Lee to the very last cruel minute
after that catastrophe end of the world return to France to old
friendships infinite kindness but a life hollow without occupation
Then 1870 and chivalrous response to adopted countrys call and again
emptiness the chafing of a proud spirit without aim and handicapped not exactly
by poverty but by lack of fortune And she the mother having to look on at
this wasting of a most accomplished man of a most chivalrous nature that
practically had no future before it
»You understand me well Monsieur George A nature like this It is the most
refined cruelty of fate to look at I dont know whether I suffered more in
times of war or in times of peace You understand«
I bowed my head in silence What I couldnt understand was why he delayed so
long in joining us again Unless he had had enough of his mother I thought
without any great resentment that I was being victimized but then it occurred
to me that the cause of his absence was quite simple I was familiar enough with
his habits by this time to know that he often managed to snatch an hours sleep
or so during the day He had gone and thrown himself on his bed
»I admire him exceedingly« Mrs Blunt was saying in a tone which was not at
all maternal »His distinction his fastidiousness the earnest warmth of his
heart I know him well I assure you that I would never have dared to suggest«
she continued with an extraordinary haughtiness of attitude and tone that
aroused my attention »I would never have dared to put before him my views of
the extraordinary merits and the uncertain fate of the exquisite woman of whom
we speak if I had not been certain that partly by my fault I admit his
attention has been attracted to her and his his heart engaged«
It was as if someone had poured a bucket of cold water over my head I woke
up with a great shudder to the acute perception of my own feelings and of that
aristocrats incredible purpose How it could have germinated grown and matured
in that exclusive soil was inconceivable She had been inciting her son all the
time to undertake wonderful salvage work by annexing the heiress of Henry
Allègre the woman and the fortune
There must have been an amazed incredulity in my eyes to which her own
responded by an unflinching black brilliance which suddenly seemed to develop a
scorching quality even to the point of making me feel extremely thirsty all of a
sudden For a time my tongue literally clove to the roof of my mouth I dont
know whether it was an illusion but it seemed to me that Mrs Blunt had nodded
at me twice as if to say »You are right thats so« I made an effort to speak
but it was very poor If she did hear me it was because she must have been on
the watch for the faintest sound
»His heart engaged Like two hundred others or two thousand all around« I
mumbled
»Altogether different And its no disparagement to a woman surely Of
course her great fortune protects her in a certain measure«
»Does it« I faltered out and that time I really doubt whether she heard me
Her aspect in my eyes had changed Her purpose being disclosed her wellbred
ease appeared sinister her aristocratic repose a treacherous device her
venerable graciousness a mask of unbounded contempt for all human beings
whatever She was a terrible old woman with those straight white wolfish
eyebrows How blind I had been Those eyebrows alone ought to have been enough
to give her away Yet they were as beautifully smooth as her voice when she
admitted »That protection naturally is only partial There is the danger of her
own self poor girl She requires guidance«
I marvelled at the villainy of my tone as I spoke but it was only assumed
»I dont think she has done badly for herself so far« I forced myself to
say »I suppose you know that she began life by herding the village goats«
In the course of that phrase I noticed her wince just the least bit Oh
yes she winced but at the end of it she smiled easily
»No I didnt know So she told you her story Oh well I suppose you are
very good friends A goatherd really In the fairy tale I believe the girl
that marries the prince is what is it a gardeuse doies And what a thing
to drag out against a woman One might just as soon reproach any of them for
coming unclothed into the world They all do you know And then they become
what you will discover when you have lived longer Monsieur George for the
most part futile creatures without any sense of truth and beauty drudges of
all sorts or else dolls to dress In a word ordinary«
The implication of scorn in her tranquil manner was immense It seemed to
condemn all those that were not born in the Blunt connection It was the perfect
pride of Republican aristocracy which has no gradations and knows no limit
and as if created by the grace of God thinks it ennobles everything it
touches people ideas even passing tastes
»How many of them« pursued Mrs Blunt »have had the good fortune the
leisure to develop their intelligence and their beauty in æsthetic conditions as
this charming woman had Not one in a million Perhaps not one in an age«
»The heiress of Henry Allègre« I murmured
»Precisely But John wouldnt be marrying the heiress of Henry Allègre«
It was the first time that the frank word the clear idea came into the
conversation and it made me feel ill with a sort of enraged faintness
»No« I said »It would be Mme de Lastaola then«
»Mme la Comtesse de Lastaola as soon as she likes after the success of this
war«
»And you believe in its success«
»Do you«
»Not for a moment« I declared and was surprised to see her look pleased
She was an aristocrat to the tips of her fingers she really didnt care for
anybody She had passed through the Empire she had lived through a siege had
rubbed shoulders with the Commune had seen everything no doubt of what men
are capable in the pursuit of their desires or in the extremity of their
distress for love for money and even for honour and in her precarious
connection with the very highest spheres she had kept her own honourability
unscathed while she had lost all her prejudices She was above all that Perhaps
the world was the only thing that could have the slightest checking influence
but when I ventured to say something about the view it might take of such an
alliance she looked at me for a moment with visible surprise
»My dear Monsieur George I have lived in the great world all my life Its
the best that there is but thats only because there is nothing merely decent
anywhere It will accept anything forgive anything forget anything in a few
days And after all who will he be marrying A charming clever rich and
altogether uncommon woman What did the world hear of her Nothing The little
it saw of her was in the Bois for a few hours every year riding by the side of
a man of unique distinction and of exclusive tastes devoted to the cult of
æsthetic impressions a man of whom as far as aspect manner and behaviour
goes she might have been the daughter I have seen her myself I went on
purpose I was immensely struck I was even moved Yes She might have been
except for that something radiant in her that marked her apart from all the
other daughters of men The few remarkable personalities that count in society
and who were admitted into Henry Allègres Pavilion treated her with punctilious
reserve I know that I have made enquiries I know she sat there amongst them
like a marvellous child and for the rest what can they say about her That when
abandoned to herself by the death of Allègre she has made a mistake I think
that any woman ought to be allowed one mistake in her life The worst they can
say of her is that she discovered it that she had sent away a man in love
directly she found out that his love was not worth having that she had told him
to go and look for his crown and that after dismissing him she had remained
generously faithful to his cause in her person and fortune And this you will
allow is rather uncommon upon the whole«
»You make her out very magnificent« I murmured looking down upon the
floor
»Isnt she« exclaimed the aristocratic Mrs Blunt with an almost youthful
ingenuousness and in those black eyes which looked at me so calmly there was a
flash of the Southern beauty still naïve and romantic as if altogether
untouched by experience »I dont think there is a single grain of vulgarity in
all her enchanting person Neither is there in my son I suppose you wont deny
that he is uncommon« She paused
»Absolutely« I said in a perfectly conventional tone I was now on my
mettle that she should not discover what there was humanly common in my nature
She took my answer at her own valuation and was satisfied
»They cant fail to understand each other on the very highest level of
idealistic perceptions Can you imagine my John thrown away on some enamoured
white goose out of a stuffy old salon Why she couldnt even begin to
understand what he feels or what he needs«
»Yes« I said impenetrably »he is not easy to understand«
»I have reason to think« she said with a suppressed smile »that he has a
certain power over women Of course I dont know anything about his intimate
life but a whisper or two have reached me like that floating in the air and I
could hardly suppose that he would find an exceptional resistance in that
quarter of all others But I should like to know the exact degree«
I disregarded an annoying tendency to feel dizzy that came over me and was
very careful in managing my voice
»May I ask Madame why you are telling me all this«
»For two reasons« she condescended graciously
»First of all because Mr Mills told me that you were much more mature than
one would expect In fact you look much younger than I was prepared for«
»Madame« I interrupted her »I may have a certain capacity for action and
for responsibility but as to the regions into which this very unexpected
conversation has taken me I am a great novice They are outside my interest I
have had no experience«
»Dont make yourself out so hopeless« she said in a spoiltbeauty tone
»You have your intuitions At any rate you have a pair of eyes You are
everlastingly over there so I understand Surely you have seen how far they are
«
I interrupted again and this time bitterly but always in a tone of polite
enquiry
»You think her facile Madame«
She looked offended »I think her most fastidious It is my son who is in
question here«
And I understood then that she looked on her son as irresistible For my
part I was just beginning to think that it would be impossible for me to wait
for his return I figured him to myself lying dressed on his bed sleeping like a
stone But there was no denying that the mother was holding me with an awful
tortured interest Twice Therese had opened the door had put her small head in
and drawn it back like a tortoise But for some time I had lost the sense of us
two being quite alone in the studio I had perceived the familiar dummy in its
corner but it lay now on the floor as if Therese had knocked it down angrily
with a broom for a heathen idol It lay there prostrate handless without its
head pathetic like the mangled victim of a crime
»John is fastidious too« began Mrs Blunt again »Of course you wouldnt
suppose anything vulgar in his resistances to a very real sentiment One has got
to understand his psychology He cant leave himself in peace He is exquisitely
absurd«
I recognized the phrase Mother and son talked of each other in identical
terms But perhaps exquisitely absurd was the Blunt family saying There are
such sayings in families and generally there is some truth in them Perhaps this
old woman was simply absurd She continued
»We had a most painful discussion all this morning He is angry with me for
suggesting the very thing his whole being desires I dont feel guilty Its he
who is tormenting himself with his infinite scrupulosity«
»Ah« I said looking at the mangled dummy like the model of some atrocious
murder »Ah the fortune But that can be left alone«
»What nonsense How is it possible It isnt contained in a bag you cant
throw it into the sea And moreover it isnt her fault I am astonished that
you should have thought of that vulgar hypocrisy No it isnt her fortune that
checks my son its something much more subtle Not so much her history as her
position He is absurd It isnt what has happened in her life Its her very
freedom that makes him torment himself and her too as far as I can
understand«
I suppressed a groan and said to myself that I must really get away from
there
Mrs Blunt was fairly launched now
»For all his superiority he is a man of the world and shares to a certain
extent its current opinions He has no power over her She intimidates him He
wishes he had never set eyes on her Once or twice this morning he looked at me
as if he could find it in his heart to hate his old mother There is no doubt
about it he loves her Monsieur George He loves her this poor luckless
perfect homme du monde«
The silence lasted for some time and then I heard a murmur »Its a matter
of the utmost delicacy between two beings so sensitive so proud It has to be
managed«
I found myself suddenly on my feet and saying with the utmost politeness
that I had to beg her permission to leave her alone as I had an engagement but
she motioned me simply to sit down and I sat down again
»I told you I had a request to make« she said »I have understood from Mr
Mills that you have been to the West Indies that you have some interests
there«
I was astounded »Interests I certainly have been there« I said »but «
She caught me up »Then why not go there again I am speaking to you frankly
because «
»But Madame I am engaged in this affair with Doña Rita even if I had any
interests elsewhere I wont tell you about the importance of my work I didnt
suspect it but you brought the news of it to me and so I neednt point it out
to you«
And now we were frankly arguing with each other
»But where will it lead you in the end You have all your life before you
all your plans prospects perhaps dreams at any rate your own tastes and all
your lifetime before you And would you sacrifice all this to the Pretender
A mere figure for the front page of illustrated papers«
»I never think of him« I said curtly »but I suppose Doña Ritas feelings
instincts call it what you like or only her chivalrous fidelity to her
mistakes «
»Doña Ritas presence here in this town her withdrawal from the possible
complications of her life in Paris has produced an excellent effect on my son
It simplifies infinite difficulties I mean moral as well as material Its
extremely to the advantage of her dignity of her future and of her peace of
mind But I am thinking of course mainly of my son He is most exacting«
I felt extremely sick at heart »And so I am to drop everything and vanish«
I said rising from my chair again And this time Mrs Blunt got up too with a
lofty and inflexible manner but she didnt dismiss me yet
»Yes« she said distinctly »All this my dear Monsieur George is such an
accident What have you got to do here You look to me like somebody who would
find adventures wherever he went as interesting and perhaps less dangerous than
this one«
She slurred over the word dangerous but I picked it up »What do you know of
its dangers Madame may I ask« But she did not condescend to hear
»And then you too have your chivalrous feelings« she went on unswerving
distinct and tranquil »You are not absurd But my son is He would shut her up
in a convent for a time if he could«
»He isnt the only one« I muttered
»Indeed« she was startled then lower »Yes That woman must be the centre
of all sorts of passions« she mused audibly »But what have you got to do with
all this Its nothing to you«
She waited for me to speak
»Exactly Madame« I said »and therefore I dont see why I should concern
myself in all this one way or another«
»No« she assented with a weary air »except that you might ask yourself
what is the good of tormenting a man of noble feelings however absurd His
Southern blood makes him very violent sometimes I fear « And then for the
first time during this conversation for the first time since I left Doña Rita
the day before for the first time I laughed
»Do you mean to hint Madame that Southern gentlemen are dead shots I am
aware of that from novels«
I spoke looking her straight in the face and I made that exquisite
aristocratic old woman positively blink by my directness There was a faint
flush on her delicate old cheeks but she didnt move a muscle of her face I
made her a most respectful bow and went out of the studio
IV
Through the great arched window of the hall I saw the hotel brougham waiting at
the door On passing the door of the front room it was originally meant for a
drawingroom but a bed for Blunt was put in there I banged with my fist on the
panel and shouted »I am obliged to go out Your mothers carriage is at the
door« I didnt think he was asleep My view now was that he was aware
beforehand of the subject of the conversation and if so I did not wish to
appear as if I had slunk away from him after the interview But I didnt stop
I didnt want to see him and before he could answer I was already halfway up
the stairs running noiselessly up the thick carpet which also covered the floor
of the landing Therefore opening the door of my sittingroom quickly I caught
by surprise the person who was in there watching the street half concealed by
the window curtain It was a woman A totally unexpected woman A perfect
stranger She came away quickly to meet me Her face was veiled and she was
dressed in a dark walking costume and a very simple form of hat She murmured
»I had an idea that Monsieur was in the house« raising a gloved hand to lift
her veil It was Rose and she gave me a shock I had never seen her before but
with her little black silk apron and a white cap with ribbons on her head This
outdoor dress was like a disguise I asked anxiously
»What has happened to Madame«
»Nothing I have a letter« she murmured and I saw it appear between the
fingers of her extended hand in a very white envelope which I tore open
impatiently It consisted of a few lines only It began abruptly
»If you are gone to sea then I cant forgive you for not sending the usual
word at the last moment If you are not gone why dont you come Why did you
leave me yesterday You leave me crying I who havent cried for years and
years and you havent the sense to come back within the hour within twenty
hours This conduct is idiotic« and a sprawling signature of the four magic
letters at the bottom
While I was putting the letter in my pocket the girl said in an earnest
undertone »I dont like to leave Madame by herself for any length of time«
»How long have you been in my room« I asked
»The time seemed long I hope Monsieur wont mind the liberty I sat for a
little in the hall but then it struck me I might be seen In fact Madame told
me not to be seen if I could help it«
»Why did she tell you that«
»I permitted myself to suggest that to Madame It might have given a false
impression Madame is frank and open like the day but it wont do with
everybody There are people who would put a wrong construction on anything
Madames sister told me Monsieur was out«
»And you didnt believe her«
»Non Monsieur I have lived with Madames sister for nearly a week when she
first came into this house She wanted me to leave the message but I said I
would wait a little Then I sat down in the big porters chair in the hall and
after a while everything being very quiet I stole up here I know the
disposition of the apartments I reckoned Madames sister would think that I got
tired of waiting and let myself out«
»And you have been amusing yourself watching the street ever since«
»The time seemed long« she answered evasively »An empty coupé came to the
door about an hour ago and its still waiting« she added looking at me
inquisitively »It seems strange«
»There are some dancing girls staying in the house« I said negligently
»Did you leave Madame alone«
»Theres the gardener and his wife in the house«
»Those people keep at the back Is Madame alone Thats what I want to
know«
»Monsieur forgets that I have been three hours away but I assure Monsieur
that here in this town its perfectly safe for Madame to be alone«
»And wouldnt it be anywhere else Its the first I hear of it«
»In Paris in our apartments in the hotel its all right too but in the
Pavilion for instance I wouldnt leave Madame by herself not for half an
hour«
»What is there in the Pavilion« I asked
»Its a sort of feeling I have« she murmured reluctantly »Oh Theres
that coupé going away«
She made a movement towards the window but checked herself I hadnt moved
The rattle of wheels on the cobblestones died out almost at once
»Will Monsieur write an answer« Rose suggested after a short silence
»Hardly worth while« I said »I will be there very soon after you
Meantime please tell Madame from me that I am not anxious to see any more
tears Tell her this just like that you understand I will take the risk of not
being received«
She dropped her eyes said »Oui Monsieur« and at my suggestion waited
holding the door of the room half open till I went downstairs to see the road
clear
It was a kind of deafanddumb house The blackandwhite hall was empty and
everything was perfectly still Blunt himself had no doubt gone away with his
mother in the brougham but as to the others the dancing girls Therese or
anybody else that its walls may have contained they might have been all
murdering each other in perfect assurance that the house would not betray them
by indulging in any unseemly murmurs I emitted a low whistle which didnt seem
to travel in that peculiar atmosphere more than two feet away from my lips but
all the same Rose came tripping down the stairs at once With just a nod to my
whisper »Take a fiacre« she glided out and I shut the door noiselessly behind
her
The next time I saw her she was opening the door of the house on the Prado
to me with her cap and the little black silk apron on and with that marked
personality of her own which had been concealed so perfectly in the dowdy
walking dress very much to the fore
»I have given Madame the message« she said in her contained voice swinging
the door wide open Then after relieving me of my hat and coat she announced me
with the simple words »Voilà Monsieur« and hurried away Directly I appeared
Doña Rita away there on the couch passed the tips of her fingers over her eyes
and holding her hands up palms outwards on each side of her head shouted to me
down the whole length of the room »The dry season has set in« I glanced at the
pink tips of her fingers perfunctorily and then drew back She let her hands
fall negligently as if she had no use for them any more and put on a serious
expression
»So it seems« I said sitting down opposite her »For how long I wonder«
»For years and years One gets so little encouragement First you bolt away
from my tears then you send an impertinent message and then when you come at
last you pretend to behave respectfully though you dont know how to do it You
should sit much nearer the edge of the chair and hold yourself very stiff and
make it quite clear that you dont know what to do with your hands«
All this in a fascinating voice with a ripple of badinage that seemed to
play upon the sober surface of her thoughts Then seeing that I did not answer
she altered the note a bit
»Amigo George« she said »I take the trouble to send for you and here I am
before you talking to you and you say nothing«
»What am I to say«
»How can I tell You might say a thousand things You might for instance
tell me that you were sorry for my tears«
»I might also tell you a thousand lies What do I know about your tears I
am not a suspectible idiot It all depends upon the cause There are tears of
quiet happiness Peeling onions also will bring tears«
»Oh you are not susceptible« she flew out at me »But you are an idiot all
the same«
»Is it to tell me this that you have written to me to come« I asked with a
certain animation
»Yes And if you had as much sense as the talking parrot I owned once you
would have read between the lines that all I wanted you here for was to tell you
what I think of you«
»Well tell me what you think of me«
»I would in a moment if I could be half as impertinent as you are«
»What unexpected modesty« I said
»These I suppose are your sea manners«
»I wouldnt put up with half that nonsense from anybody at sea Dont you
remember you told me yourself to go away What was I to do«
»How stupid you are I dont mean that you pretend You really are Do you
understand what I say I will spell it for you Stupid Ah now I feel
better Oh amigo George my dear fellowconspirator for the King the King
Such a king Vive le Roi Come why dont you shout Vive le Roi too«
»I am not your parrot« I said
»No he never sulked He was a charming goodmannered bird accustomed to
the best society whereas you I suppose are nothing but a heartless vagabond
like myself«
»I daresay you are but I suppose nobody had the insolence to tell you that
to your face«
»Well very nearly It was what it amounted to I am not stupid There is no
need to spell out simple words for me It just came out Don Juan struggled
desperately to keep the truth in It was most pathetic And yet he couldnt help
himself He talked very much like a parrot«
»Of the best society« I suggested
»Yes the most honourable of parrots I dont like parrottalk It sounds so
uncanny Had I lived in the Middle Ages I am certain I would have believed that
a talking bird must be possessed by the devil I am sure Therese would believe
that now My own sister She would cross herself many times and simply quake
with terror«
»But you were not terrified« I said »May I ask when that interesting
communication took place«
»Yesterday just before you blundered in here of all days in the year I was
sorry for him«
»Why tell me this I couldnt help noticing it I regretted I hadnt my
umbrella with me«
»Those unforgiven tears Oh you simple soul Dont you know that people
never cry for anybody but themselves Amigo George tell me what are we
doing in this world«
»Do you mean all the people everybody«
»No only people like you and me Simple people in this world which is
eaten up with charlatanism of all sorts so that even we the simple dont know
any longer how to trust each other«
»Dont we Then why dont you trust him You are dying to do so dont you
know«
She dropped her chin on her breast and from under her straight eyebrows the
deep blue eyes remained fixed on me impersonally as if without thought
»What have you been doing since you left me yesterday« she asked
»The first thing I remember I abused your sister horribly this morning«
»And how did she take it«
»Like a warm shower in spring She drank it all in and unfolded her petals«
»What poetical expressions he uses That girl is more perverted than one
would think possible considering what she is and whence she came Its true
that I too come from the same spot«
»She is slightly crazy I am a great favourite with her I dont say this to
boast«
»It must be very comforting«
»Yes it has cheered me immensely Then after morning of delightful musing
on one thing and another I went to lunch with a charming lady and spent most of
the afternoon talking with her«
Doña Rita raised her head
»A lady Women seem such mysterious creatures to me I dont know them Did
you abuse her Did she how did you say that unfold her petals too Was she
really and truly «
»She is simply perfection in her way and the conversation was by no means
banal I fancy that if your late parrot had heard it he would have fallen off
his perch For after all in that Allègre Pavilion my dear Rita you were but a
crowd of glorified bourgeois«
She was beautifully animated now In her motionless blue eyes like melted
sapphires around those red lips that almost without moving could breathe
enchanting sounds into the world there was a play of light that mysterious
ripple of gaiety that seemed always to run and faintly quiver under her skin
even in her gravest moods just as in her rare moments of gaiety its warmth and
radiance seemed to come to one through infinite sadness like the sunlight of
our life hiding the invincible darkness in which the universe must work out its
impenetrable destiny
»Now I think of it Perhaps thats the reason I never could feel
perfectly serious while they were demolishing the world about my ears I fancy
now that I could tell beforehand what each of them was going to say They were
repeating the same words over and over again those great clever men very much
like parrots who also seem to know what they say That doesnt apply to the
master of the house who never talked much He sat there mostly silent and
looming up three sizes bigger than any of them«
»The ruler of the aviary« I muttered viciously
»It annoys you that I should talk of that time« she asked in a tender
voice »Well I wont except for once to say that you must not make a mistake
in that aviary he was the man I know because he used to talk to me afterwards
sometimes Strange For six years he seemed to carry all the world and me with
it in his hand «
»He dominates you yet« I shouted
She shook her head innocently as a child would do
»No no You brought him into the conversation yourself You think of him
much more than I do« Her voice dropped sadly to a hopeless note »I hardly ever
do He is not the sort of person to merely flit through ones mind and so I have
no time Look I had eleven letters this morning and there were also five
telegrams before midday which have tangled up everything I am quite
frightened«
And she explained to me that one of them the long one on the top of the
pile on the table over there seemed to contain ugly inferences directed at
herself in a menacing way She begged me to read it and see what I could make of
it
I knew enough of the general situation to see at a glance that she had
misunderstood it thoroughly and even amazingly I proved it to her very quickly
But her mistake was so ingenious in its wrongheadedness and arose so obviously
from the distraction of an acute mind that I couldnt help looking at her
admiringly
»Rita« I said »you are a marvellous idiot«
»Am I Imbecile« she retorted with an enchanting smile of relief »But
perhaps it only seems so to you in contrast with the lady so perfect in her way
What is her way«
»Her way I should say lies somewhere between her sixtieth and seventieth
years and I have walked têteàtête with her for some little distance this
afternoon«
»Heavens« she whispered thunderstruck »And meantime I had the son here
He arrived about five minutes after Rose left with that note for you« she went
on in a tone of awe »As a matter of fact Rose saw him across the street but
she thought she had better go on to you«
»I am furious with myself for not having guessed that much« I said
bitterly »I suppose you got him out of the house about five minutes after you
heard I was coming here Rose ought to have turned back when she saw him on his
way to cheer your solitude That girl is stupid after all though she has got a
certain amount of low cunning which no doubt is very useful at times«
»I forbid you to talk like this about Rose I wont have it Rose is not to
be abused before me«
»I only mean to say that she failed in this instance to read your mind
thats all«
»This is without exception the most unintelligent thing you have said ever
since I have known you You may understand a lot about running contraband and
about the minds of a certain class of people but as to Roses mind let me tell
you that in comparison with hers yours is absolutely infantile my adventurous
friend It would be contemptible if it werent so what shall I call it
babyish You ought to be slapped and put to bed« There was an extraordinary
earnestness in her tone and when she ceased I listened yet to the seductive
inflexions of her voice that no matter in what mood she spoke seemed only fit
for tenderness and love And I thought suddenly of Azzolati being ordered to
take himself off from her presence for ever in that voice the very anger of
which seemed to twine itself gently round ones heart No wonder the poor wretch
could not forget the scene and couldnt restrain his tears on the plain of
Rambouillet My moods of resentment against Rita hot as they were had no more
duration than a blaze of straw So I only said
»Much you know about the management of children«
The corners of her lips stirred quaintly her animosity especially when
provoked by a personal attack upon herself was always tinged by a sort of
wistful humour of the most disarming kind
»Come amigo George let us leave poor Rose alone You had better tell me
what you heard from the lips of the charming old lady Perfection isnt she I
have never seen her in my life though she says she has seen me several times
But she has written to me on three separate occasions and every time I answered
her as if I were writing to a queen Amigo George how does one write to a
queen How should a goatherd that could have been mistress of a king how should
she write to an old queen from very far away from over the sea«
»I will ask you as I have asked the old queen why do you tell me all this
Doña Rita«
»To discover whats in your mind« she said a little impatiently
»If you dont know that yet« I exclaimed under my breath
»No not in your mind Can any one ever tell what is in a mans mind But I
see you wont tell«
»Whats the good You have written to her before I understand Do you think
of continuing the correspondence«
»Who knows« she said in a profound tone »She is the only woman that ever
wrote to me I returned her three letters to her with my last answer explaining
humbly that I preferred her to burn them herself And I thought that would be
the end of it But an occasion may still arise«
»Oh if an occasion arises« I said trying to control my rage »you may be
able to begin your letter by the words Chère Maman«
The cigarette box which she had taken up without removing her eyes from me
flew out of her hand and opening in midair scattered cigarettes for quite a
surprising distance all over the room I got up at once and wandered off picking
them up industriously Doña Ritas voice behind me said indifferently
»Dont trouble I will ring for Rose«
»No need« I growled without turning my head »I can find my hat in the
hall by myself after Ive finished picking up «
»Bear«
I returned with the box and placed it on the divan near her She sat
crosslegged leaning back on her arms in the blue shimmer of her embroidered
robe and with the tawny halo of her unruly hair about her face which she raised
to mine with an air of resignation
»George my friend« she said »we have no manners«
»You would never have made a career at court Doña Rita« I observed »You
are too impulsive«
»This is not bad manners thats sheer insolence This has happened to you
before If it happens again as I cant be expected to wrestle with a savage and
desperate smuggler singlehanded I will go upstairs and lock myself in my room
till you leave the house Why did you say this to me«
»Oh just for nothing out of a full heart«
»If your heart is full of things like that then my dear friend you had
better take it out and give to it the crows No you said that for the pleasure
of appearing terrible And you see you are not terrible at all you are rather
amusing Go on continue to be amusing Tell me something of what you heard from
the lips of that aristocratic old lady who thinks that all men are equal and
entitled to the pursuit of happiness«
»I hardly remember now I heard something about the unworthiness of certain
white geese out of stuffy drawingrooms It sounds mad but the lady knows
exactly what she wants I also heard your praises sung I sat there like a fool
not knowing what to say«
»Why You might have joined in the singing«
»I didnt feel in the humour because dont you see I had been
incidentally given to understand that I was an insignificant and superfluous
person who had better get out of the way of serious people«
»Ah par exemple«
»In a sense you know it was flattering but for the moment it made me feel
as if I had been offered a pot of mustard to sniff«
She nodded with an amused air of understanding and I could see that she was
interested »Anything more« she asked with a flash of radiant eagerness in all
her person and bending slightly forward towards me
»Oh its hardly worth mentioning It was a sort of threat wrapped up I
believe in genuine anxiety as to what might happen to my youthful
insignificance If I hadnt been rather on the alert just then I wouldnt even
have perceived the meaning But really an allusion to hot Southern blood could
have only one meaning Of course I laughed at it but only pour lhonneur and to
show I understood perfectly In reality it left me completely indifferent«
Doña Rita looked very serious for a minute
»Indifferent to the whole conversation«
I looked at her angrily
»To the whole You see I got up rather out of sorts this morning
Unrefreshed you know As if tired of life«
The liquid blue in her eyes remained directed at me without any expression
except that of its usual mysterious immobility but all her face took on a sad
and thoughtful cast Then as if she had made up her mind under the pressure of
necessity
»Listen amigo« she said »I have suffered domination and it didnt crush
me because I have been strong enough to live with it I have known caprice you
may call it folly if you like and it left me unharmed because I was great
enough not to be captured by anything that wasnt really worthy of me My dear
it went down like a house of cards before my breath There is something in me
that will not be dazzled by any sort of prestige in this world worthy or
unworthy I am telling you this because you are younger than myself«
»If you want me to say that there is nothing petty or mean about you Doña
Rita then I do say it«
She nodded at me with an air of accepting the rendered justice and went on
with the utmost simplicity
»And what is it that is coming to me now with all the airs of virtue All
the lawful conventions are coming to me all the glamours of respectability And
nobody can say that I have made as much as the slightest little sign to them
Not so much as lifting my little finger I suppose you know that«
»I dont know I do not doubt your sincerity in anything you say I am ready
to believe You are not one of those who have to work«
»Have to work what do you mean«
»Its a phrase I have heard What I meant was that it isnt necessary for
you to make any signs«
She seemed to meditate over this for a while
»Dont be so sure of that« she said with a flash of mischief which made
her voice sound more melancholy than before »I am not so sure myself« she
continued with a curious vanishing intonation of despair »I dont know the
truth about myself because I never had an opportunity to compare myself to
anything in the world I have been offered mock adulation treated with mock
reserve or with mock devotion I have been fawned upon with an appalling
earnestness of purpose I can tell you but these later honours my dear came
to me in the shape of a very loyal and very scrupulous gentleman For he is all
that And as a matter of fact I was touched«
»I know Even to tears« I said provokingly But she wasnt provoked she
only shook her head in negation which was absurd and pursued the trend of her
spoken thoughts
»That was yesterday« she said »And yesterday he was extremely correct and
very full of extreme selfesteem which expressed itself in the exaggerated
delicacy with which he talked But I know him in all his moods I have known him
even playful I didnt listen to him I was thinking of something else Of
things that were neither correct nor playful and that had to be looked at
steadily with all the best that was in me And that was why in the end I
cried yesterday«
»I saw it yesterday and I had the weakness of being moved by those tears for
a time«
»If you want to make me cry again I warn you you wont succeed«
»No I know He has been here today and the dry season has set in«
»Yes he has been here I assure you it was perfectly unexpected Yesterday
he was railing at the world at large at me who certainly have not made it at
himself and even at his mother All this rather in parrot language in the words
of tradition and morality as understood by the members of that exclusive club to
which he belongs And yet when I thought that all this those poor hackneyed
words expressed a sincere passion I could have found in my heart to be sorry
for him But he ended by telling me that one couldnt believe a single word I
said or something like that You were here then you heard it yourself«
»And it cut you to the quick« I said »It made you depart from your dignity
to the point of weeping on any shoulder that happened to be there And
considering that it was some more parrottalk after all men have been saying
that sort of thing to women from the beginning of the world this sensibility
seems to me childish«
»What perspicacity« she observed with an indulgent mocking smile then
changed her tone »Therefore he wasnt expected today when he turned up
whereas you who were expected remained subject to the charms of conversation
in that studio It never occurred to you did it No What had become of your
perspicacity«
»I tell you I was weary of life« I said in a passion She had another faint
smile of a fugitive and unrelated kind as if she had been thinking of faroff
things then roused herself to grave animation
»He came in full of smiling playfulness How well I know that mood Such
selfcommand has its beauty but its no great help for a man with such fateful
eyes I could see he was moved in his correct restrained way and in his own
way too he tried to move me with something that would be very simple He told
me that ever since we became friends we two he had not an hour of continuous
sleep unless perhaps when coming back deadtired from outpost duty and that he
longed to get back to it and yet hadnt the courage to tear himself away from
here He was as simple as that Hes a très galant homme of absolute probity
even with himself I said to him The trouble is Don Juan that it isnt love
but mistrust that keeps you in torment I might have said jealousy but I didnt
like to use that word A parrot would have added that I had given him no right
to be jealous But I am no parrot I recognized the rights of his passion which
I could very well see He is jealous He is not jealous of my past or of the
future but he is jealously mistrustful of me of what I am of my very soul He
believes in a soul in the same way Therese does as something that can be
touched with grace or go to perdition and he doesnt want to be damned with me
before his own judgment seat He is a most noble and loyal gentleman but I have
my own Basque peasant soul and dont want to think that every time he goes away
from my feet yes mon cher on this carpet look for the marks of scorching
that he goes away feeling tempted to brush the dust off his moral sleeve That
Never«
With brusque movements she took a cigarette out of the box held it in her
fingers for a moment then dropped it unconsciously
»And then I dont love him« she uttered slowly as if speaking to herself
and at the same time watching the very quality of that thought »I never did At
first he fascinated me with his fatal aspect and his cold society smiles But I
have looked into those eyes too often There are too many disdains in this
aristocratic republican without a home His fate may be cruel but it will
always be commonplace While he sat there trying in a worldly tone to explain to
me the problems the scruples of his suffering honour I could see right into
his heart and I was sorry for him I was sorry enough for him to feel that if he
had suddenly taken me by the throat and strangled me slowly avec delices I
could forgive him while I choked How correct he was But bitterness against me
peeped out of every second phrase At last I raised my hand and said to him
Enough I believe he was shocked by my plebeian abruptness but he was too polite
to show it His conventions will always stand in the way of his nature I told
him that everything that had been said and done during the last seven or eight
months was inexplicable unless on the assumption that he was in love with me
and yet in everything there was an implication that he couldnt forgive me my
very existence I did ask him whether he didnt think that it was absurd on his
part «
»Didnt you say that it was exquisitely absurd« I asked
»Exquisitely « Doña Rita was surprised at my question »No Why should I
say that«
»It would have reconciled him to your abruptness Its their family
expression It would have come with a familiar sound and would have been less
offensive«
»Offensive« Doña Rita repeated earnestly »I dont think he was offended
he suffered in another way but I didnt care for that It was I that had become
offended in the end without spite you understand but past bearing I didnt
spare him I told him plainly that to want a woman formed in mind and body
mistress of herself free in her choice independent in her thoughts to love
her apparently for what she is and at the same time to demand from her the
candour and the innocence that could be only a shocking pretence to know her
such as life had made her and at the same time to despise her secretly for every
touch with which her life had fashioned her that was neither generous nor high
minded it was positively frantic He got up and went away to lean against the
mantelpiece there on his elbow and with his head in his hand You have no idea
of the charm and the distinction of his pose I couldnt help admiring him the
expression the grace the fatal suggestion of his immobility Oh yes I am
sensible to æsthetic impressions I have been educated to believe that there is
a soul in them«
With that enigmatic under the eyebrows glance fixed on me she laughed her
deep contralto laugh without mirth but also without irony and profoundly moving
by the mere purity of the sound
»I suspect he was never so disgusted and appalled in his life His
selfcommand is the most admirable worldly thing I have ever seen What made it
beautiful was that one could feel in it a tragic suggestion as in a great work
of art«
She paused with an inscrutable smile that a painter might have put on the
face of some symbolic figure for the speculation and wonder of many generations
I said
»I always thought that love for you could work great wonders And now I am
certain«
»Are you trying to be ironic« she said sadly and very much as a child might
have spoken
»I dont know« I answered in a tone of the same simplicity »I find it very
difficult to be generous«
»I too« she said with a sort of funny eagerness »I didnt treat him very
generously Only I didnt say much more I found I didnt care what I said and
it would have been like throwing insults at a beautiful composition He was well
inspired not to move It has spared him some disagreeable truths and perhaps I
would even have said more than the truth I am not fair I am no more fair than
other people I would have been harsh My very admiration was making me more
angry Its ridiculous to say of a man got up in correct tailor clothes but
there was a funereal grace in his attitude so that he might have been reproduced
in marble on a monument to some woman in one of those atrocious Campo Santos
the bourgeois conception of an aristocratic mourning lover When I came to that
conclusion I became glad that I was angry or else I would have laughed right out
before him«
»I have heard a woman say once a woman of the people do you hear me Doña
Rita therefore deserving your attention that one should never laugh at
love«
»My dear« she said gently »I have been taught to laugh at most things by a
man who never laughed himself but its true that he never spoke of love to me
love as a subject that is So perhaps But why«
»Because but maybe that old woman was crazy because she said there was
death in the mockery of love«
Doña Rita moved slightly her beautiful shoulders and went on
»I am glad then I didnt laugh And I am also glad I said nothing more I
was feeling so little generous that if I had known something then of his
mothers allusion to white geese I would have advised him to get one of them and
lead it away on a beautiful blue ribbon Mrs Blunt was wrong you know to be
so scornful A white goose is exactly what her son wants But look how badly the
world is arranged Such white birds cannot be got for nothing and he has not
enough money even to buy a ribbon Who knows Maybe it was this which gave that
tragic quality to his pose by the mantelpiece over there Yes that was it
Though no doubt I didnt see it then As he didnt offer to move after I had
done speaking I became quite unaffectedly sorry and advised him very gently to
dismiss me from his mind definitely He moved forward then and said to me in his
usual voice and with his usual smile that it would have been excellent advice
but unfortunately I was one of those women who cant be dismissed at will And
as I shook my head he insisted rather darkly Oh yes Doña Rita it is so
Cherish no illusions about that fact It sounded so threatening that in my
surprise I didnt even acknowledge his parting bow He went out of that false
situation like a wounded man retreating after a fight No I have nothing to
reproach myself with I did nothing I led him into nothing Whatever illusions
have passed through my head I kept my distance and he was so loyal to what he
seemed to think the redeeming proprieties of the situation that he has gone from
me for good without so much as kissing the tips of my fingers He must have felt
like a man who had betrayed himself for nothing Its horrible Its the fault
of that enormous fortune of mine and I wish with all my heart that I could give
it to him for he couldnt help his hatred of the thing that is and as to his
love which is just as real well could I have rushed away from him to shut
myself up in a convent Could I After all I have a right to my share of
daylight«
V
I took my eyes from her face and became aware that dusk was beginning to steal
into the room How strange it seemed Except for the glazed rotunda part its
long walls divided into narrow panels separated by an order of flat pilasters
presented depicted on a black background and in vivid colours slender women
with butterfly wings and lean youths with narrow birds wings The effect was
supposed to be Pompeiian and Rita and I had often laughed at the delirious fancy
of some enriched shopkeeper But still it was a display of fancy a sign of
grace but at that moment these figures appeared to me weird and intrusive and
strangely alive in their attenuated grace of unearthly beings concealing a power
to see and hear
Without words without gestures Doña Rita was heard again »It may have
been as near coming to pass as this« She showed me the breadth of her little
finger nail »Yes as near as that Why How Just like that for nothing
Because it had come up Because a wild notion had entered a practical old
womans head Yes And the best of it is that I have nothing to complain of Had
I surrendered I would have been perfectly safe with these two It is they or
rather he who couldnt trust me or rather that something which I express which
I stand for Mills would never tell me what it was Perhaps he didnt know
exactly himself He said it was something like genius My genius Oh I am not
conscious of it believe me I am not conscious of it But if I were I wouldnt
pluck it out and cast it away I am ashamed of nothing of nothing Dont be
stupid enough to think that I have the slightest regret There is no regret
First of all because I am I and then because My dear believe me I have
had a horrible time of it myself lately«
This seemed to be the last word Outwardly quiet all the time it was only
then that she became composed enough to light an enormous cigarette of the same
pattern as those made specially for the King por el Rey After a time tipping
the ash into the bowl on her left hand she asked me in a friendly almost
tender tone
»What are you thinking of amigo«
»I was thinking of your immense generosity You want to give a crown to one
man a fortune to another That is very fine But I suppose there is a limit to
your generosity somewhere«
»I dont see why there should be any limit to fine intentions Yes one
would like to pay ransom and be done with it all«
»Thats the feeling of a captive and yet somehow I cant think of you as
ever having been anybodys captive«
»You do display some wonderful insight sometimes My dear I begin to
suspect that men are rather conceited about their powers They think they
dominate us Even exceptional men will think that men too great for mere
vanity men like Henry Allègre for instance who by his consistent and serene
detachment was certainly fit to dominate all sorts of people Yet for the most
part they can only do it because women choose more or less consciously to let
them do so Henry Allègre if any man might have been certain of his own power
and yet look I was a chit of a girl I was sitting with a book where I had no
business to be in his own garden when he suddenly came upon me an ignorant
girl of seventeen a most uninviting creature with a tousled head in an old
black frock and shabby boots I could have run away I was perfectly capable of
it But I stayed looking up at him and in the end it was HE who went away and
it was I who stayed«
»Consciously« I murmured
»Consciously You may just as well ask my shadow that lay so still by me on
the young grass in that morning sunshine I never knew before how still I could
keep It wasnt the stillness of terror I remained knowing perfectly well that
if I ran he was not the man to run after me I remember perfectly his
deeptoned politely indifferent Restez donc He was mistaken Already then I
hadnt the slightest intention to move And if you ask me again how far
conscious all this was the nearest answer I can make you is this that I
remained on purpose but I didnt know for what purpose I remained Really that
couldnt be expected Why do you sigh like this Would you have preferred me
to be idiotically innocent or abominably wise«
»These are not the questions that trouble me« I said »If I sighed it is
because I am weary«
»And getting stiff too I should say in this Pompeiian armchair You had
better get out of it and sit on this couch as you always used to do That at
any rate is not Pompeiian You have been growing of late extremely formal I
dont know why If it is a pose then for goodness sake drop it Are you going
to model yourself on Captain Blunt You couldnt you know You are too young«
»I dont want to model myself on anybody« I said »And anyway Blunt is too
romantic and moreover he has been and is yet in love with you a thing that
requires some style an attitude something of which I am altogether incapable«
»You know it isnt so stupid what you have just said Yes there is
something in this«
»I am not stupid« I protested without much heat
»Oh yes you are You dont know the world enough to judge You dont know
how wise men can be Owls are nothing to them Why do you try to look like an
owl There are thousands and thousands of them waiting for me outside the door
the staring hissing beasts You dont know what a relief of mental ease and
intimacy you have been to me in the frankness of gestures and speeches and
thoughts sane or insane that we have been throwing at each other I have known
nothing of this in my life but with you There had always been some fear some
constraint lurking in the background behind everybody everybody except you
my friend«
»An unmannerly Arcadian state of affairs I am glad you like it Perhaps
its because you were intelligent enough to perceive that I was not in love with
you in any sort of style«
»No you were always your own self unwise and reckless and with something
in it kindred to mine if I may say so without offence«
»You may say anything without offence But has it never occurred to your
sagacity that I just simply loved you«
»Just simply« she repeated in a wistful tone
»You didnt want to trouble your head about it is that it«
»My poor head From your tone one might think you yearned to cut it off No
my dear I have made up my mind not to lose my head«
»You would be astonished to know how little I care for your mind«
»Would I Come and sit on the couch all the same« she said after a moment
of hesitation Then as I did not move at once she added with indifference
»You may sit as far away as you like its big enough goodness knows«
The light was ebbing slowly out of the rotunda and to my bodily eyes she was
beginning to grow shadowy I sat down on the couch and for a long time no word
passed between us We made no movement We did not even turn towards each other
All I was conscious of was the softness of the seat which seemed somehow to
cause a relaxation of my stern mood I wont say against my will but without any
will on my part Another thing I was conscious of strangely enough was the
enormous brass bowl for cigarette ends Quietly with the least possible action
Doña Rita moved it to the other side of her motionless person Slowly the
fantastic women with butterflies wings and the slenderlimbed youths with the
gorgeous pinions on their shoulders were vanishing into their black backgrounds
with an effect of silent discretion leaving us to ourselves
I felt suddenly extremely exhausted absolutely overcome with fatigue since
I had moved as if to sit on that Pompeiian chair had been a task almost beyond
human strength a sort of labour that must end in collapse I fought against it
for a moment and then my resistance gave way Not all at once but as if yielding
to an irresistible pressure for I was not conscious of any irresistible
attraction I found myself with my head resting with a weight I felt must be
crushing on Doña Ritas shoulder which yet did not give way did not flinch at
all A faint scent of violets filled the tragic emptiness of my head and it
seemed impossible to me that I should not cry from sheer weakness But I
remained dryeyed I only felt myself slipping lower and lower and I caught her
round the waist clinging to her not from any intention but purely by instinct
All that time she hadnt stirred There was only the slight movement of her
breathing that showed her to be alive and with closed eyes I imagined her to be
lost in thought removed by an incredible meditation while I clung to her to
an immense distance from the earth The distance must have been immense because
the silence was so perfect the feeling as if of eternal stillness I had a
distinct impression of being in contact with an infinity that had the slightest
possible rise and fall was pervaded by a warm delicate scent of violets and
through which came a hand from somewhere to rest lightly on my head Presently
my ear caught the faint and regular pulsation of her heart firm and quick
infinitely touching in its persistent mystery disclosing itself into my very
ear and my felicity became complete
It was a dreamlike state combined with a dreamlike sense of insecurity Then
in that warm and scented infinity or eternity in which I rested lost in bliss
but ready for any catastrophe I heard the distant hardly audible and fit to
strike terror into the heart ringing of a bell At this sound the greatness of
spaces departed I felt the world close about me the world of darkened walls
of very deep grey dusk against the panes and I asked in a pained voice
»Why did you ring Rita«
There was a bell rope within reach of her hand I had not felt her move but
she said very low
»I rang for the lights«
»You didnt want the lights«
»It was time« she whispered secretly
Somewhere within the house a door slammed I got away from her feeling small
and weak as if the best part of me had been torn away and irretrievably lost
Rose must have been somewhere near the door
»Its abominable« I murmured to the still idollike shadow on the couch
The answer was a hurried nervous whisper »I tell you it was time I rang
because I had no strength to push you away«
I suffered a moment of giddiness before the door opened light streamed in
and Rose entered preceding a man in a green baize apron whom I had never seen
carrying on an enormous tray three Argand lamps fitted into vases of Pompeiian
form Rose distributed them over the room In the flood of soft light the winged
youths and the butterfly women reappeared on the panels affected gorgeous
callously unconscious of anything having happened during their absence Rose
attended to the lamp on the nearest mantelpiece then turned about and asked in
a confident undertone
»Monsieur dîne«
I had lost myself with my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands but I
heard the words distinctly I heard also the silence which ensued I sat up and
took the responsibility of the answer on myself
»Impossible I am going to sea this evening«
This was perfectly true only I had totally forgotten it till then For the
last two days my being was no longer composed of memories but exclusively of
sensations of the most absorbing disturbing exhausting nature I was like a
man who has been buffeted by the sea or by a mob till he loses all hold on the
world in the misery of his helplessness But now I was recovering And naturally
the first thing I remembered was the fact that I was going to sea
»You have heard Rose« Doña Rita said at last with some impatience
The girl waited a moment longer before she said
»Oh yes There is a man waiting for Monsieur in the hall A seaman«
It could be no one but Dominic It dawned upon me that since the evening of
our return I had not been near him or the ship which was completely unusual
unheard of and well calculated to startle Dominic
»I have seen him before« continued Rose »and as he told me he has been
pursuing Monsieur all the afternoon and didnt like to go away without seeing
Monsieur for a moment I proposed to him to wait in the hall till Monsieur was
at liberty«
I said »Very well« and with a sudden resumption of her extremely busy
notamomenttolose manner Rose departed from the room I lingered in an
imaginary world full of tender light of unheardof colours with a mad riot of
flowers and an inconceivable happiness under the sky arched above its yawning
precipices while a feeling of awe enveloped me like its own proper atmosphere
But everything vanished at the sound of Doña Ritas loud whisper full of
boundless dismay such as to make ones hair stir on ones head
»Mon Dieu And what is going to happen now«
She got down from the couch and walked to a window When the lights had been
brought into the room all the panes had turned inky black for the night had
come and the garden was full of tall bushes and trees screening off the gas
lamps of the main alley of the Prado Whatever the question meant she was not
likely to see an answer to it outside But her whisper had offended me had hurt
something infinitely deep infinitely subtle and infinitely cleareyed in my
nature I said after her from the couch on which I had remained »Dont lose
your composure You will always have some sort of bell at hand«
I saw her shrug her uncovered shoulders impatiently Her forehead was
against the very blackness of the panes pulled upward from the beautiful
strong nape of her neck the twisted mass of her tawny hair was held high upon
her head by the arrow of gold
»You set up for being unforgiving« she said without anger
I sprang to my feet while she turned about and came towards me bravely with
a wistful smile on her bold adolescent face
»It seems to me« she went on in a voice like a wave of love itself »that
one should try to understand before one sets up for being unforgiving
Forgiveness is a very fine word It is a fine invocation«
»There are other fine words in the language such as fascination fidelity
also frivolity and as for invocations there are plenty of them too for
instance alas heaven help me«
We stood very close together her narrow eyes were as enigmatic as ever but
that face which like some ideal conception of art was incapable of anything
like untruth and grimace expressed by some mysterious means such a depth of
infinite patience that I felt profoundly ashamed of myself
»This thing is beyond words altogether« I said »Beyond forgiveness
beyond forgetting beyond anger or jealousy There is nothing between us two
that could make us act together«
»Then we must fall back perhaps on something within us that you admit it
we have in common«
»Dont be childish« I said »You give one with a perpetual and intense
freshness feelings and sensations that are as old as the world itself and you
imagine that your enchantment can be broken off anywhere at any time But it
cant be broken And forgetfulness like everything else can only come from
you Its an impossible situation to stand up against«
She listened with slightly parted lips as if to catch some further
resonances
»There is a sort of generous ardour about you« she said »which I dont
really understand No I dont know it Believe me it is not of myself I am
thinking And you you are going out tonight to make another landing«
»Yes it is a fact that before many hours I will be sailing away from you to
try my luck once more«
»Your wonderful luck« she breathed out
»Oh yes I am wonderfully lucky Unless the luck really is yours in
having found somebody like me who cares at the same time so much and so little
for what you have at heart«
»What time will you be leaving the harbour« she asked
»Some time between midnight and daybreak Our men may be a little late in
joining but certainly we will be gone before the first streak of light«
»What freedom« she murmured enviously »Its something I shall never know
«
»Freedom« I protested »I am a slave to my word There will be a string of
carts and mules on a certain part of the coast and a most ruffianly lot of men
men you understand men with wives and children and sweethearts who from the
very moment they start on a trip risk a bullet in the head at any moment but
who have a perfect conviction that I will never fail them Thats my freedom I
wonder what they would think if they knew of your existence«
»I dont exist« she said
»Thats easy to say But I will go as if you didnt exist yet only because
you do exist You exist in me I dont know where I end and you begin You have
got into my heart and into my veins and into my brain«
»Take this fancy out and trample it down in the dust« she said in a tone of
timid entreaty
»Heroically« I suggested with the sarcasm of despair
»Well yes heroically« she said and there passed between us dim smiles I
have no doubt of the most touching imbecility on earth We were standing by then
in the middle of the room with its vivid colours on a black background with its
multitude of winged figures with pale limbs with hair like halos or flames all
strangely tense in their strained decorative attitudes Doña Rita made a step
towards me and as I attempted to seize her hand she flung her arms round my
neck I felt their strength drawing me towards her and by a sort of blind and
desperate effort I resisted And all the time she was repeating with nervous
insistence
»But it is true that you will go You will surely Not because of those
people but because of me You will go away because you feel you must«
With every word urging me to get away her clasp tightened she hugged my
head closer to her breast I submitted knowing well that I could free myself by
one more effort which it was in my power to make But before I made it in a
sort of desperation I pressed a long kiss into the hollow of her throat And lo
there was no need for any effort With a stifled cry of surprise her arms fell
off me as if she had been shot I must have been giddy and perhaps we both were
giddy but the next thing I knew there was a good foot of space between us in
the peaceful glow of the groundglass globes in the everlasting stillness of
the winged figures Something in the quality of her exclamation something
utterly unexpected something I had never heard before and also the way she was
looking at me with a sort of incredulous concentrated attention disconcerted
me exceedingly I knew perfectly well what I had done and yet I felt that I
didnt understand what had happened I became suddenly abashed and I muttered
that I had better go and dismiss that poor Dominic She made no answer gave no
sign She stood there lost in a vision or was it a sensation of the most
absorbing kind I hurried out into the hall shamefaced as if I were making my
escape while she wasnt looking And yet I felt her looking fixedly at me with
a sort of stupefaction on her features in her whole attitude as though she
had never even heard of such a thing as a kiss in her life
A dim lamp of Pompeiian form hanging on a long chain left the hall
practically dark Dominic advancing towards me from a distant corner was but a
little more opaque shadow than the others He had expected me on board every
moment till about three oclock but as I didnt turn up and gave no sign of
life in any other way he started on his hunt He sought news of me from the
garçons at the various cafés from the cochers de fiacre in front of the
Exchange from the tobacconist lady at the counter of the fashionable Dêbit de
Tabac from the old man who sold papers outside the cercle from the flowergirl
at the door of the fashionable restaurant where I had my table That young
woman whose business name was Irma had come on duty about midday She said to
Dominic »I think Ive seen all his friends this morning but I havent seen him
for a week What has become of him«
»Thats exactly what I want to know« Dominic replied in a fury and then
went back to the harbour on the chance that I might have called either on board
or at Madame Léonores café
I expressed to him my surprise that he should fuss about me like an old hen
over a chick It wasnt like him at all And he said that en effet it was Madame
Léonore who wouldnt give him any peace He hoped I wouldnt mind it was best
to humour women in little things and so he started off again made straight for
the street of the Consuls was told there that I wasnt at home but the woman of
the house looked so funny that he didnt know what to make of it Therefore
after some hesitation he took the liberty to inquire at this house too and
being told that I couldnt be disturbed had made up his mind not to go on board
without actually setting his eyes on me and hearing from my own lips that
nothing was changed as to sailing orders
»There is nothing changed Dominic« I said
»No change of any sort« he insisted looking very sombre and speaking
gloomily from under his black moustaches in the dim glow of the alabaster lamp
hanging above his head He peered at me in an extraordinary manner as if he
wanted to make sure that I had all my limbs about me I asked him to call for my
bag at the other house on his way to the harbour and he departed reassured
not however without remarking ironically that ever since she saw that American
cavalier Madame Léonore was not easy in her mind about me
As I stood alone in the hall without a sound of any sort Rose appeared
before me
»Monsieur will dine after all« she whispered calmly
»My good girl I am going to sea tonight«
»What am I going to do with Madame« she murmured to herself »She will
insist on returning to Paris«
»Oh have you heard of it«
»I never get more than two hours notice« she said »But I know how it will
be« her voice lost its calmness »I can look after Madame up to a certain point
but I cannot be altogether responsible There is a dangerous person who is
everlastingly trying to see Madame alone I have managed to keep him off several
times but there is a beastly old journalist who is encouraging him in his
attempts and I darent even speak to Madame about it«
»What sort of person do you mean«
»Why a man« she said scornfully
I snatched up my coat and hat
»Arent there dozens of them«
»Oh But this one is dangerous Madame must have given him a hold on her in
some way I ought not to talk like this about Madame and I wouldnt to anybody
but Monsieur I am always on the watch but what is a poor girl to do Isnt
Monsieur going back to Madame«
»No I am not going back Not this time« A mist seemed to fall before my
eyes I could hardly see the girl standing by the closed door of the Pompeiian
room with extended hand as if turned to stone But my voice was firm enough
»Not this time« I repeated and became aware of the great noise of the wind
amongst the trees with the lashing of a rain squall against the door »Perhaps
some other time« I added
I heard her say twice to herself »Mon Dieu Mon Dieu« and then a dismayed
»What can Monsieur expect me to do« But I had to appear insensible to her
distress and that not altogether because in fact I had no option but to go
away I remember also a distinct wilfulness in my attitude and something
halfcontemptuous in my words as I laid my hand on the knob of the front door
»You will tell Madame that I am gone It will please her Tell her that I am
gone heroically«
Rose had come up close to me She met my words by a despairing outward
movement of her hands as though she were giving everything up
»I see it clearly now that Madame has no friends« she declared with such a
force of restrained bitterness that it nearly made me pause But the very
obscurity of actuating motives drove me on and I stepped out through the doorway
muttering »Everything is as Madame wishes it«
She shot at me a swift »You should resist« of an extraordinary intensity
but I strode on down the path Then Roses schooled temper gave way at last and
I heard her angry voice screaming after me furiously through the wind and rain
»No Madame has no friends Not one«
Part Five
I
That night I didnt get on board till just before midnight and Dominic could not
conceal his relief at having me safely there Why he should have been so uneasy
it was impossible to say but at the time I had a sort of impression that my
inner destruction it was nothing less had affected my appearance that my doom
was as it were written on my face I was a mere receptacle for dust and ashes a
living testimony to the vanity of all things My very thoughts were like a
ghostly rustle of dead leaves But we had an extremely successful trip and for
most of the time Dominic displayed an unwonted jocularity of a dry and biting
kind with which he maintained he had been infected by no other person than
myself As with all his force of character he was very responsive to the moods
of those he liked I have no doubt he spoke the truth But I know nothing about
it The observer more or less alert whom each of us carries in his own
consciousness failed me altogether had turned away his face in sheer horror
or else had fainted from the strain And thus I had to live alone unobserved
even by myself
But the trip had been successful We reentered the harbour very quietly as
usual and when our craft had been moored unostentatiously amongst the plebeian
stonecarriers Dominic whose grim joviality had subsided in the last
twentyfour hours of our homeward run abandoned me to myself as though indeed I
had been a doomed man He only stuck his head for a moment into our little cuddy
where I was changing my clothes and being told in answer to his question that I
had no special orders to give went ashore without waiting for me
Generally we used to step on the quay together and I never failed to enter
for a moment Madame Léonores café But this time when I got on the quay Dominic
was nowhere to be seen What was it Abandonment discretion or had he
quarrelled with his Léonore before leaving on the trip
My way led me past the café and through the glass panes I saw that he was
already there On the other side of the little marble table Madame Léonore
leaning with mature grace on her elbow was listening to him absorbed Then I
passed on and what would you have I ended by making my way into the street
of the Consuls I had nowhere else to go There were my things in the apartment
on the first floor I couldnt bear the thought of meeting anybody I knew
The feeble gas flame in the hall was still there on duty as though it had
never been turned off since I last crossed the hall at halfpast eleven in the
evening to go to the harbour The small flame had watched me letting myself out
and now exactly of the same size the poor little tongue of light there was
something wrong with that burner watched me letting myself in as indeed it had
done many times before Generally the impression was that of entering an
untenanted house but this time before I could reach the foot of the stairs
Therese glided out of the passage leading into the studio After the usual
exclamations she assured me that everything was ready for me upstairs had been
for days and offered to get me something to eat at once I accepted and said I
would be down in the studio in half an hour I found her there by the side of
the laid table ready for conversation She began by telling me the dear poor
young Monsieur in a sort of plaintive chant that there were no letters for
me no letters of any kind no letters from anybody Glances of absolutely
terrifying tenderness mingled with flashes of cunning swept over me from head to
foot while I tried to eat
»Are you giving me Captain Blunts wine to drink« I asked noting the
strawcoloured liquid in my glass
She screwed up her mouth as if she had a twinge of toothache and assured me
that the wine belonged to the house I would have to pay her for it As far as
personal feelings go Blunt who addressed her always with polite seriousness
was not a favourite with her The charming brave Monsieur was now fighting for
the King and religion against the impious Liberals He went away the very
morning after I had left and oh she remembered he had asked her before going
away whether I was still in the house Wanted probably to say goodbye to me
shake my hand the dear polite Monsieur
I let her run on in dread expectation of what she would say next but she
stuck to the subject of Blunt for some time longer He had written to her once
about some of his things which he wanted her to send to Paris to his mothers
address but she was going to do nothing of the kind She announced this with a
pious smile and in answer to my questions I discovered that it was a stratagem
to make Captain Blunt return to the house
»You will get yourself into trouble with the police Mademoiselle Therese
if you go on like that« I said But she was as obstinate as a mule and assured
me with the utmost confidence that many people would be ready to defend a poor
honest girl There was something behind this attitude which I could not fathom
Suddenly she fetched a deep sigh
»Our Rita too will end by coming to her sister«
The name for which I had been waiting deprived me of speech for the moment
The poor mad sinner had rushed off to some of her wickednesses in Paris Did I
know No How could she tell whether I did know or not Well I had hardly left
the house so to speak when Rita was down with her maid behaving as if the
house did really still belong to her
»What time was it« I managed to ask And with the words my life itself was
being forced out through my lips But Therese not noticing anything strange
about me said it was something like halfpast seven in the morning The poor
sinner was all in black as if she were going to church except for her
expression which was enough to shock any honest person and after ordering her
with frightful menaces not to let anybody know she was in the house she rushed
upstairs and locked herself up in my bedroom while that French creature whom
she seemed to love more than her own sister went into my salon and hid herself
behind the window curtain
I had recovered sufficiently to ask in a quiet natural voice whether Doña
Rita and Captain Blunt had seen each other Apparently they had not seen each
other The polite captain had looked so stern while packing up his kit that
Therese dared not speak to him at all And he was in a hurry too He had to see
his dear mother off to Paris before his own departure Very stern But he shook
her hand with a very nice bow
Therese elevated her right hand for me to see It was broad and short with
blunt fingers as usual The pressure of Captain Blunts handshake had not
altered its unlovely shape
»What was the good of telling him that our Rita was here« went on Therese
»I would have been ashamed of her coming here and behaving as if the house
belonged to her I had already said some prayers at his intention at the
halfpast six mass the brave gentleman That maid of my sister Rita was
upstairs watching him drive away with her evil eyes but I made a sign of the
cross after the fiacre and then I went upstairs and banged at your door my
dear kind young Monsieur and shouted to Rita that she had no right to lock
herself in any of my locataires rooms At last she opened it and what do you
think All her hair was loose over her shoulders I suppose it all came down
when she flung her hat on your bed I noticed when she arrived that her hair
wasnt done properly She used your brushes to do it up again in front of your
glass«
»Wait a moment« I said and jumped up upsetting my wine to run upstairs as
fast as I could I lighted the gas all the three jets in the middle of the
room the jet by the bedside and two others flanking the dressingtable I had
been struck by the wild hope of finding a trace of Ritas passage a sign or
something I pulled out all the drawers violently thinking that perhaps she had
hidden there a scrap of paper a note It was perfectly mad Of course there was
no chance of that Therese would have seen to it I picked up one after another
all the various objects on the dressingtable On laying my hands on the brushes
I had a profound emotion and with misty eyes I examined them meticulously with
the new hope of finding one of Ritas tawny hairs entangled amongst the bristles
by a miraculous chance But Therese would have done away with that chance too
There was nothing to be seen though I held them up to the light with a beating
heart It was written that not even that trace of her passage on the earth
should remain with me not to help but as it were to soothe the memory Then I
lighted a cigarette and came downstairs slowly My unhappiness became dulled as
the grief of those who mourn for the dead gets dulled in the overwhelming
sensation that everything is over that a part of themselves is lost beyond
recall taking with it all the savour of life
I discovered Therese still on the very same spot of the floor her hands
folded over each other and facing my empty chair before which the spilled wine
had soaked a large portion of the tablecloth She hadnt moved at all She
hadnt even picked up the overturned glass But directly I appeared she began to
speak in an ingratiating voice
»If you have missed anything of yours upstairs my dear young Monsieur you
mustnt say its me You dont know what our Rita is«
»I wish to goodness« I said »that she had taken something«
And again I became inordinately agitated as though it were my absolute fate
to be everlastingly dying and reviving to the tormenting fact of her existence
Perhaps she had taken something Anything Some small object I thought suddenly
of a Rhenishstone matchbox Perhaps it was that I didnt remember having seen
it when upstairs I wanted to make sure at once At once But I commanded myself
to sit still
»And she so wealthy« Therese went on »Even you with your dear generous
little heart can do nothing for our Rita No man can do anything for her
except perhaps one but she is so evilly disposed towards him that she wouldnt
even see him if in the goodness of his forgiving heart he were to offer his
hand to her Its her bad conscience that frightens her He loves her more than
his life the dear charitable man«
»You mean some rascal in Paris that I believe persecutes Doña Rita Listen
Mademoiselle Therese if you know where he hangs out you had better let him have
word to be careful I believe he too is mixed up in the Carlist intrigue
Dont you know that your sister can get him shut up any day or get him expelled
by the police«
Therese sighed deeply and put on a look of pained virtue
»Oh the hardness of her heart She tried to be tender with me She is
awful I said to her Rita have you sold your soul to the Devil and she
shouted like a fiend For happiness Ha ha ha She threw herself backwards on
that couch in your room and laughed and laughed and laughed as if I had been
tickling her and she drummed on the floor with the heels of her shoes She is
possessed Oh my dear innocent young Monsieur you have never seen anything
like that That wicked girl who serves her rushed in with a tiny glass bottle
and put it to her nose but I had a mind to run out and fetch the priest from
the church where I go to early mass Such a nice stout severe man But that
false cheating creature I am sure she is robbing our Rita from morning to
night she talked to our Rita very low and quieted her down I am sure I dont
know what she said She must be leagued with the Devil And then she asked me if
I would go down and make a cup of chocolate for her Madame Madame thats our
Rita Madame It seems they were going off directly to Paris and her Madame had
had nothing to eat since the morning of the day before Fancy me being ordered
to make chocolate for our Rita However the poor thing looked so exhausted and
whitefaced that I went Ah the Devil can give you an awful shake up if he
likes«
Therese gave another deep sigh and raising her eyes looked at me with great
attention I preserved an inscrutable expression for I wanted to hear all she
had to tell me of Rita I watched her with the greatest anxiety composing her
face into a cheerful expression
»So Doña Rita is gone to Paris« I asked negligently
»Yes my dear Monsieur I believe she went straight to the railway station
from here When she first got up from the couch she could hardly stand But
before while she was drinking the chocolate which I made for her I tried to
get her to sign a paper giving over the house to me but she only closed her
eyes and begged me to try and be a good sister and leave her alone for half an
hour And she lying there looking as if she wouldnt live a day But she always
hated me«
I said bitterly »You neednt have worried her like this If she had not
lived for another day you would have had this house and everything else besides
a bigger bit than even your wolfish throat can swallow Mademoiselle Therese«
I then said a few more things indicative of my disgust with her rapacity
but they were quite inadequate as I wasnt able to find words strong enough to
express my real mind But it didnt matter really because I dont think Therese
heard me at all She seemed lost in rapt amazement
»What do you say my dear Monsieur What All for me without any sort of
paper«
She appeared distracted by my curt »Yes« Therese believed in my
truthfulness She believed me implicitly except when I was telling her the
truth about herself mincing no words when she used to stand smilingly bashful
as if I were overwhelming her with compliments I expected her to continue the
horrible tale but apparently she had found something to think about which
checked the flow She fetched another sigh and muttered
»Then the law can be just if it does not require any paper After all I am
her sister«
»Its very difficult to believe that at sight« I said roughly
»Ah but that I could prove There are papers for that«
After this declaration she began to clear the table preserving a thoughtful
silence
I was not very surprised at the news of Doña Ritas departure for Paris It
was not necessary to ask myself why she had gone I didnt even ask myself
whether she had left the leased Villa on the Prado for ever Later talking again
with Therese I learned that her sister had given it up for the use of the
Carlist cause and that some sort of unofficial Consul a Carlist agent of some
sort either was going to live there or had already taken possession This Rita
herself had told her before her departure on that agitated morning spent in the
house in my rooms A close investigation demonstrated to me that there was
nothing missing from them Even the wretched matchbox which I really hoped was
gone turned up in a drawer after I had delightedly given it up It was a great
blow She might have taken that at least She knew I used to carry it about with
me constantly while ashore She might have taken it Apparently she meant that
there should be no bond left even of that kind and yet it was a long time
before I gave up visiting and revisiting all the corners of all possible
receptacles for something that she might have left behind on purpose It was
like the mania of those disordered minds who spend their days hunting for a
treasure I hoped for a forgotten hairpin for some tiny piece of ribbon
Sometimes at night I reflected that such hopes were altogether insensate but I
remember once getting up at two in the morning to search for a little cardboard
box in the bathroom into which I remembered I had not looked before Of
course it was empty and anyway Rita could not possibly have known of its
existence I got back to bed shivering violently though the night was warm and
with a distinct impression that this thing would end by making me mad It was no
longer a question of this sort of thing killing me The moral atmosphere of this
torture was different It would make me mad And at that thought great shudders
ran down my prone body because once I had visited a famous lunatic asylum
where they had shown me a poor wretch who was mad apparently because he
thought he had been abominably fooled by a woman They told me that his
grievance was quite imaginary He was a young man with a thin fair beard
huddled up on the edge of his bed hugging himself forlornly and his incessant
and lamentable wailing filled the long bare corridor striking a chill into
ones heart long before one came to the door of his cell
And there was no one from whom I could hear to whom I could speak with
whom I could evoke the image of Rita Of course I could utter that word of four
letters to Therese but Therese for some reason took it into her head to avoid
all topics connected with her sister I felt as if I could pull out great
handfuls of her hair hidden modestly under the black handkerchief of which the
ends were sometimes tied under her chin But really I could not have given her
any intelligible excuse for that outrage Moreover she was very busy from the
very top to the very bottom of the house which she persisted in running alone
because she couldnt make up her mind to part with a few francs every month to a
servant It seemed to me that I was no longer such a favourite with her as I
used to be That strange to say was exasperating too It was as if some idea
some fruitful notion had killed in her all the softer and more humane emotions
She went about with brooms and dusters wearing an air of sanctimonious
thoughtfulness
The man who to a certain extent took my place in Thereses favour was the
old father of the dancing girls inhabiting the ground floor In a tall hat and a
welltodo dark blue overcoat he allowed himself to be buttonholed in the hall
by Therese who would talk to him interminably with downcast eyes He smiled
gravely at her and meanwhile tried to edge towards the front door I imagine he
didnt put a great value on Thereses favour Our stay in harbour was prolonged
this time and I kept indoors like an invalid One evening I asked that old man
to come in and drink and smoke with me in the studio He made no difficulties to
accept brought his wooden pipe with him and was very entertaining in a
pleasant voice One couldnt tell whether he was an uncommon person or simply a
ruffian but in any case with his white beard he looked quite venerable
Naturally he couldnt give me much of his company as he had to look closely
after his girls and their admirers not that the girls were unduly frivolous
but of course being very young they had no experience They were friendly
creatures with pleasant merry voices and he was very much devoted to them He
was a muscular man with a high colour and silvery locks curling round his bald
pate and over his ears like a barocco apostle I had an idea that he had had a
lurid past and had seen some fighting in his youth The admirers of the two
girls stood in great awe of him from instinct no doubt because his behaviour
to them was friendly and even somewhat obsequious yet always with a certain
truculent glint in his eye that made them pause in everything but their
generosity which was encouraged I sometimes wondered whether those two
careless merry hardworking creatures understood the secret moral beauty of the
situation
My real company was the dummy in the studio and I cant say it was exactly
satisfying After taking possession of the studio I had raised it tenderly
dusted its mangled limbs and insensible hardwood bosom and then had propped
it up in a corner where it seemed to take on of itself a shy attitude I knew
its history It was not an ordinary dummy One day talking with Doña Rita about
her sister I had told her that I thought Therese used to knock it down on
purpose with a broom and Doña Rita had laughed very much This she had said
was an instance of dislike from mere instinct That dummy had been made to
measure years before It had to wear for days and days the Imperial Byzantine
robes in which Doña Rita sat only once or twice herself but of course the folds
and bends of the stuff had to be preserved as in the first sketch Doña Rita
described amusingly how she had to stand in the middle of her room while Rose
walked around her with a tape measure noting the figures down on a small piece
of paper which was then sent to the maker who presently returned it with an
angry letter stating that those proportions were altogether impossible in any
woman Apparently Rose had muddled them all up and it was a long time before
the figure was finished and sent to the Pavilion in a long basket to take on
itself the robes and the hieratic pose of the Empress Later it wore with the
same patience the marvellous hat of the Girl in the Hat But Doña Rita couldnt
understand how the poor thing ever found its way to Marseilles minus its turnip
head Probably it came down with the robes and a quantity of precious brocades
which she herself had sent down from Paris The knowledge of its origin the
contempt of Captain Blunts references to it with Thereses shocked dislike of
the dummy invested that summary reproduction with a sort of charm gave me a
faint and miserable illusion of the original less artificial than a photograph
less precise too But it cant be explained I felt positively friendly to
it as if it had been Ritas trusted personal attendant I even went so far as to
discover that it had a sort of grace of its own But I never went so far as to
address set speeches to it where it lurked shyly in its corner or drag it out
from there for contemplation I left it in peace I wasnt mad I was only
convinced that I soon would be
II
Notwithstanding my misanthropy I had to see a few people on account of all these
Royalist affairs which I couldnt very well drop and in truth did not wish to
drop They were my excuse for remaining in Europe which somehow I had not the
strength of mind to leave for the West Indies or elsewhere On the other hand
my adventurous pursuit kept me in contact with the sea where I found occupation
protection consolation the mental relief of grappling with concrete problems
the sanity one acquires from close contact with simple mankind a little
selfconfidence born from the dealings with the elemental powers of nature I
couldnt give all that up And besides all this was related to Doña Rita I had
as it were received it from her own hand from that hand the clasp of which was
as frank as a mans and yet conveyed a unique sensation The very memory of it
would go through me like a wave of heat It was over that hand that we first got
into the habit of quarrelling with the irritability of sufferers from some
obscure pain and yet half unconscious of their disease Ritas own spirit
hovered over the troubled waters of Legitimity But as to the sound of the four
magic letters of her name I was not very likely to hear it fall sweetly on my
ear For instance the distinguished personality in the world of finance with
whom I had to confer several times alluded to the irresistible seduction of the
power which reigned over my heart and my mind which had a mysterious and
unforgettable face the brilliance of sunshine together with the unfathomable
splendour of the night as Madame de Lastaola Thats how that steelgrey man
called the greatest mystery of the universe When uttering that assumed name he
would make for himself a guardedly solemn and reserved face as though he were
afraid lest I should presume to smile lest he himself should venture to smile
and the sacred formality of our relations should be outraged beyond mending
He would refer in a studiously grave tone to Madame de Lastaolas wishes
plans activities instructions movements or picking up a letter from the
usual litter of paper found on such mens desks glance at it to refresh his
memory and while the very sight of the handwriting would make my lips go dry
would ask me in a bloodless voice whether perchance I had a direct communication
from er Paris lately And there would be other maddening circumstances
connected with those visits He would treat me as a serious person having a
clear view of certain eventualities while at the very moment my vision could
see nothing but streaming across the wall at his back abundant and misty
unearthly and adorable a mass of tawny hair that seemed to have hot sparks
tangled in it Another nuisance was the atmosphere of Royalism of Legitimacy
that pervaded the room thin as air intangible as though no Legitimist of
flesh and blood had ever existed to the mans mind except perhaps myself He of
course was just simply a banker a very distinguished a very influential and
a very impeccable banker He persisted also in deferring to my judgment and
sense with an overemphasis called out by his perpetual surprise at my youth
Though he had seen me many times I even knew his wife he could never get over
my immature age He himself was born about fifty years old all complete with
his irongrey whiskers and his bilious eyes which he had the habit of
frequently closing during a conversation On one occasion he said to me »By the
by the Marquis of Villarel is here for a time He inquired after you the last
time he called on me May I let him know that you are in town«
I didnt say anything to that The Marquis of Villarel was the Don Rafael of
Ritas own story What had I to do with Spanish grandees And for that matter
what had she the woman of all time to do with all the villainous or splendid
disguises human dust takes upon itself All this was in the past and I was
acutely aware that for me there was no present no future nothing but a hollow
pain a vain passion of such magnitude that being locked up within my breast it
gave me an illusion of lonely greatness with my miserable head uplifted amongst
the stars But when I made up my mind which I did quickly to be done with it
to call on the bankers wife almost the first thing she said to me was that the
Marquis de Villarel was amongst us She said it joyously If in her husbands
room at the bank legitimism was a mere unpopulated principle in her salon
Legitimacy was nothing but persons »Il ma causé beaucoup de vous« she said as
if there had been a joke in it of which I ought to be proud I slunk away from
her I couldnt believe that the grandee had talked to her about me I had never
felt myself part of the great Royalist enterprise I confess that I was so
indifferent to everything so profoundly demoralized that having once got into
that drawingroom I hadnt the strength to get away though I could see
perfectly well my volatile hostess going from one to another of her
acquaintances in order to tell them with a little gesture »Look Over there
in that corner Thats the notorious Monsieur George« At last she herself drove
me out by coming to sit by me vivaciously and going into ecstasies over ce cher
Monsieur Mills and that magnificent Lord X and ultimately with a perfectly
odious snap in the eyes and drop in the voice dragging in the name of Madame de
Lastaola and asking me whether I was really so much in the confidence of that
astonishing person »Vous devez bien regretter son départ pour Paris« she
cooed looking with affected bashfulness at her fan How I got out of the
room I really dont know There was also a staircase I did not fall down it
head first that much I am certain of and I also remember that I wandered for
a long time about the seashore and went home very late by the way of the Prado
giving in passing a fearful glance at the Villa It showed not a gleam of light
through the thin foliage of its trees
I spent the next day with Dominic on board the little craft watching the
shipwrights at work on her deck From the way they went about their business
those men must have been perfectly sane and I felt greatly refreshed by my
company during the day Dominic too devoted himself to his business but his
taciturnity was sardonic Then I dropped in at the café and Madame Léonores
loud »Eh Signorino here you are at last« pleased me by its resonant
friendliness But I found the sparkle of her black eyes as she sat down for a
moment opposite me while I was having my drink rather difficult to bear That
man and that woman seemed to know something What did they know At parting she
pressed my hand significantly What did she mean But I didnt feel offended by
these manifestations The souls within these peoples breasts were not volatile
in the manner of slightly scented and inflated bladders Neither had they the
impervious skins which seem the rule in the fine world that wants only to get
on Somehow they had sensed that there was something wrong and whatever
impression they might have formed for themselves I had the certitude that it
would not be for them a matter of grins at my expense
That day on returning home I found Therese looking out for me a very
unusual occurrence of late She handed me a card bearing the name of the Marquis
de Villarel
»How did you come by this« I asked She turned on at once the tap of her
volubility and I was not surprised to learn that the grandee had not done such
an extraordinary thing as to call upon me in person A young gentleman had
brought it Such a nice young gentleman she interjected with her piously
ghoulish expression He was not very tall He had a very smooth complexion that
woman was incorrigible and a nice tiny black moustache Therese was sure that
he must have been an officer en las filas legitimas With that notion in her
head she had asked him about the welfare of that other model of charm and
elegance Captain Blunt To her extreme surprise the charming young gentleman
with beautiful eyes had apparently never heard of Blunt But he seemed very much
interested in his surroundings looked all round the hall noted the costly wood
of the door panels paid some attention to the silver statuette holding up the
defective gas burner at the foot of the stairs and finally asked whether this
was in very truth the house of the most excellent Señora Doña Rita de Lastaola
The question staggered Therese but with great presence of mind she answered the
young gentleman that she didnt know what excellence there was about it but
that the house was her property having been given to her by her own sister At
this the young gentleman looked both puzzled and angry turned on his heel and
got back into his fiacre Why should people be angry with a poor girl who had
never done a single reprehensible thing in her whole life
»I suppose our Rita does tell people awful lies about her poor sister« She
sighed deeply she had several kinds of sighs and this was the hopeless kind
and added reflectively »Sin on sin wickedness on wickedness And the longer
she lives the worse it will be It would be better for our Rita to be dead«
I told »Mademoiselle Therese« that it was really impossible to tell whether
she was more stupid or atrocious but I wasnt really very much shocked These
outbursts did not signify anything in Therese One got used to them They were
merely the expression of her rapacity and her righteousness so that our
conversation ended by my asking her whether she had any dinner ready for me that
evening
»Whats the good of getting you anything to eat my dear young Monsieur«
she quizzed me tenderly »You just only peck like a little bird Much better let
me save the money for you« It will show the superterrestrial nature of my
misery when I say that I was quite surprised at Thereses view of my appetite
Perhaps she was right I certainly did not know I stared hard at her and in the
end she admitted that the dinner was in fact ready that very moment
The new young gentleman within Thereses horizon didnt surprise me very
much Villarel would travel with some sort of suite a couple of secretaries at
least I had heard enough of Carlist headquarters to know that the man had been
very likely was still Captain General of the Royal Bodyguard and was a person
of great political and domestic influence at Court The card was under its
social form a mere command to present myself before the grandee No Royalist
devoted by conviction as I must have appeared to him could have mistaken the
meaning I put the card in my pocket and after dining or not dining I really
dont remember spent the evening smoking in the studio pursuing thoughts of
tenderness and grief vision exalting and cruel From time to time I looked at
the dummy I even got up once from the couch on which I had been writhing like a
worm and walked towards it as if to touch it but refrained not from sudden
shame but from sheer despair By and by Therese drifted in It was then late
and I imagine she was on her way to bed She looked the picture of cheerful
rustic innocence and started propounding to me a conundrum which began with the
words
»If our Rita were to die before long «
She didnt get any further because I had jumped up and frightened her by
shouting »Is she ill What has happened Have you had a letter«
She had had a letter I didnt ask her to show it to me though I daresay
she would have done so I had an idea that there was no meaning in anything at
least no meaning that mattered But the interruption had made Therese apparently
forget her sinister conundrum She observed me with her shrewd unintelligent
eyes for a bit and then with the fatuous remark about the Law being just she
left me to the horrors of the studio I believe I went to sleep there from sheer
exhaustion Some time during the night I woke up chilled to the bone and in the
dark These were horrors and no mistake I dragged myself upstairs to bed past
the indefatigable statuette holding up the evermiserable light The
blackandwhite hall was like an icehouse
The main consideration which induced me to call on the Marquis of Villarel
was the fact that after all I was a discovery of Doña Ritas her own recruit
My fidelity and steadfastness had been guaranteed by her and no one else I
couldnt bear the idea of her being criticized by every emptyheaded chatterer
belonging to the Cause And as apart from that nothing mattered much why
then I would get this over
But it appeared that I had not reflected sufficiently on all the
consequences of that step First of all the sight of the Villa looking shabbily
cheerful in the sunshine but not containing her any longer was so perturbing
that I very nearly went away from the gate Then when I got in after much
hesitation being admitted by the man in the green baize apron who recognized
me the thought of entering that room out of which she was gone as completely
as if she had been dead gave me such an emotion that I had to steady myself
against the table till the faintness was past Yet I was irritated as at a
treason when the man in the baize apron instead of letting me into the Pompeiian
diningroom crossed the hall to another door not at all in the Pompeiian style
more Louis XV rather that Villa was like a Salade Russe of styles and
introduced me into a big light room full of very modern furniture The portrait
en pied of an officer in a skyblue uniform hung on the end wall The officer
had a small head a black beard cut square a robust body and leaned with
gauntleted hands on the simple hilt of a straight sword That striking picture
dominated a massive mahogany desk and in front of this desk a very roomy
tallbacked armchair of dark green velvet I thought I had been announced into
an empty room till glancing along the extremely loud carpet I detected a pair of
feet under the armchair
I advanced towards it and discovered a little man who had made no sound or
movement till I came into his view sunk deep in the green velvet He altered
his position slowly and rested his hollow black quietly burning eyes on my
face in prolonged scrutiny I detected something comminatory in his yellow
emaciated countenance but I believe now he was simply startled by my youth I
bowed profoundly He extended a meagre little hand
»Take a chair Don Jorge«
He was very small frail and thin but his voice was not languid though he
spoke hardly above his breath Such was the envelope and the voice of the
fanatical soul belonging to the Grandmaster of Ceremonies and Captain General
of the Bodyguard at the Headquarters of the Legitimist Court now detached on a
special mission He was all fidelity inflexibility and sombre conviction but
like some great saints he had very little body to keep all these merits in
»You are very young« he remarked to begin with »The matters on which I
desired to converse with you are very grave«
»I was under the impression that your Excellency wished to see me at once
But if your Excellency prefers it I will return in say seven years time when
I may perhaps be old enough to talk about grave matters«
He didnt stir hand or foot and not even the quiver of an eyelid proved that
he had heard my shockingly unbecoming retort
»You have been recommended to us by a noble and loyal lady in whom His
Majesty whom God preserve reposes an entire confidence God will reward her
as she deserves and you too Señor according to the disposition you bring to
this great work which has the blessing here he crossed himself of our Holy
Mother the Church«
»I suppose your Excellency understands that in all this I am not looking for
reward of any kind«
At this he made a faint almost ethereal grimace
»I was speaking of the spiritual blessing which rewards the service of
religion and will be of benefit to your soul« he explained with a slight touch
of acidity »The other is perfectly understood and your fidelity is taken for
granted His Majesty whom God preserve has been already pleased to signify
his satisfaction with your services to the most noble and loyal Doña Rita by a
letter in his own hand«
Perhaps he expected me to acknowledge this announcement in some way speech
or bow or something because before my immobility he made a slight movement in
his chair which smacked of impatience »I am afraid Señor that you are
affected by the spirit of scoffing and irreverence which pervades this unhappy
country of France in which both you and I are strangers I believe Are you a
young man of that sort«
»I am a very good gunrunner your Excellency« I answered quietly
He bowed his head gravely »We are aware But I was looking for the motives
which ought to have their pure source in religion«
»I must confess frankly that I have not reflected on my motives« I said
»It is enough for me to know that they are not dishonourable and that anybody
can see they are not the motives of an adventurer seeking some sordid
advantage«
He had listened patiently and when he saw that there was nothing more to
come he ended the discussion
»Señor we should reflect upon our motives It is salutary for our
conscience and is recommended he crossed himself by our Holy Mother the
Church I have here certain letters from Paris on which I would consult your
young sagacity which is accredited to us by the most loyal Doña Rita«
The sound of that name on his lips was simply odious I was convinced that
this man of forms and ceremonies and fanatical royalism was perfectly heartless
Perhaps he reflected on his motives but it seemed to me that his conscience
could be nothing else but a monstrous thing which very few actions could disturb
appreciably Yet for the credit of Doña Rita I did not withhold from him my
young sagacity What he thought of it I dont know The matters we discussed
were not of course of high policy though from the point of view of the war in
the south they were important enough We agreed on certain things to be done
and finally always out of regard for Doña Ritas credit I put myself generally
at his disposition or of any Carlist agent he would appoint in his place for I
did not suppose that he would remain very long in Marseilles He got out of the
chair laboriously like a sick child might have done The audience was over but
he noticed my eyes wandering to the portrait and he said in his measured
breathedout tones
»I owe the pleasure of having this admirable work here to the gracious
attention of Madame de Lastaola who knowing my attachment to the royal person
of my Master has sent it down from Paris to greet me in this house which has
been given up for my occupation also through her generosity to the Royal Cause
Unfortunately she too is touched by the infection of this irreverent and
unfaithful age But she is young yet She is young«
These last words were pronounced in a strange tone of menace as though he
were supernaturally aware of some suspended disasters With his burning eyes he
was the image of an Inquisitor with an unconquerable soul in that frail body
But suddenly he dropped his eyelids and the conversation finished as
characteristically as it had begun with a slow dismissing inclination of the
head and an »Adios Señor may God guard you from sin«
III
I must say that for the next three months I threw myself into my unlawful trade
with a sort of desperation dogged and hopeless like a fairly decent fellow who
takes deliberately to drink The business was getting dangerous The bands in
the South were not very well organized worked with no very definite plan and
now were beginning to be pretty closely hunted The arrangements for the
transport of supplies were going to pieces our friends ashore were getting
scared and it was no joke to find after a day of skilful dodging that there was
no one at the landing place and have to go out again with our compromising
cargo to slink and lurk about the coast for another week or so unable to trust
anybody and looking at every vessel we met with suspicion Once we were ambushed
by a lot of rascally Carabineers as Dominic called them who hid themselves
among the rocks after disposing a train of mules well in view on the seashore
Luckily on evidence which I could never understand Dominic detected something
suspicious Perhaps it was by virtue of some sixth sense that men born for
unlawful occupations may be gifted with »There is a smell of treachery about
this« he remarked suddenly turning at his oar He and I were pulling alone in
a little boat to reconnoitre I couldnt detect any smell and I regard to this
day our escape on that occasion as properly speaking miraculous Surely some
supernatural power must have struck upwards the barrels of the Carabineers
rifles for they missed us by yards And as the Carabineers have the reputation
of shooting straight Dominic after swearing most horribly ascribed our escape
to the particular guardian angel that looks after crazy young gentlemen Dominic
believed in angels in a conventional way but laid no claim to having one of his
own Soon afterwards while sailing quietly at night we found ourselves
suddenly near a small coasting vessel also without lights which all at once
treated us to a volley of rifle fire Dominics mighty and inspired yell »A
plat ventre« and also an unexpected roll to windward saved all our lives
Nobody got a scratch We were past in a moment and in a breeze then blowing we
had the heels of anything likely to give us chase But an hour afterwards as we
stood side by side peering into the darkness Dominic was heard to mutter
through his teeth »Le métier se gâte« I too had the feeling that the trade
if not altogether spoiled had seen its best days But I did not care In fact
for my purpose it was rather better a more potent influence like the stronger
intoxication of raw spirit A volley in the dark after all was not such a bad
thing Only a moment before we had received it there in that calm night of the
sea full of freshness and soft whispers I had been looking at an enchanting
turn of a head in a faint light of its own the tawny hair with snared red
sparks brushed up from the nape of a white neck and held up on high by an arrow
of gold feathered with brilliants and with ruby gleams all along its shaft That
jewelled ornament which I remember often telling Rita was of a very
Philistinish conception it was in some way connected with a tortoiseshell comb
occupied an undue place in my memory tried to come into some sort of
significance even in my sleep Often I dreamed of her with white limbs
shimmering in the gloom like a nymph haunting a riot of foliage and raising a
perfect round arm to take an arrow of gold out of her hair to throw it at me by
hand like a dart It came on a whizzing trail of light but I always woke up
before it struck Always Invariably It never had a chance A volley of small
arms was much more likely to do the business some day or night
At last came the day when everything slipped out of my grasp The little vessel
broken and gone like the only toy of a lonely child the sea itself which had
swallowed it throwing me on shore after a shipwreck that instead of a fair
fight left in me the memory of a suicide It took away all that there was in me
of independent life but just failed to take me out of the world which looked
then indeed like Another World fit for no one else but unrepentant sinners Even
Dominic failed me his moral entity destroyed by what to him was a most tragic
ending of our common enterprise The lurid swiftness of it all was like a
stunning thunderclap and one evening I found myself weary heartsore my
brain still dazed and with awe in my heart entering Marseilles by way of the
railway station after many adventures one more disagreeable than another
involving privations great exertions a lot of difficulties with all sorts of
people who looked upon me evidently more as a discreditable vagabond deserving
the attentions of gendarmes than a respectable if crazy young gentleman
attended by a guardian angel of his own I must confess that I slunk out of the
railway station shunning its many lights as if invariably failure made an
outcast of a man I hadnt any money in my pocket I hadnt even the bundle and
the stick of a destitute wayfarer I was unshaven and unwashed and my heart was
faint within me My attire was such that I darent approach the rank of fiacres
where indeed I could perceive only two pairs of lamps of which one suddenly
drove away while I looked The other I gave up to the fortunate of this earth I
didnt believe in my power of persuasion I had no powers I slunk on and on
shivering with cold through the uproarious streets Bedlam was loose in them
It was the time of Carnival
Small objects of no value have the secret of sticking to a man in an
astonishing way I had nearly lost my liberty and even my life I had lost my
ship a moneybelt full of gold I had lost my companions had parted from my
friend my occupation my only link with life my touch with the sea my cap and
jacket were gone but a small penknife and a latchkey had never parted company
with me With the latchkey I opened the door of refuge The hall wore its
deafanddumb air its blackandwhite stillness
The sickly gasjet still struggled bravely with adversity at the end of the
raised silver arm of the statuette which had kept to a hairs breadth its
graceful pose on the toes of its left foot and the staircase lost itself in the
shadows above Therese was parsimonious with the lights To see all this was
surprising It seemed to me that all the things I had known ought to have come
down with a crash at the moment of the final catastrophe on the Spanish coast
And there was Therese herself descending the stairs frightened but plucky
Perhaps she thought that she would be murdered this time for certain She had a
strange unemotional conviction that the house was particularly convenient for a
crime One could never get to the bottom of her wild notions which she held with
the stolidity of a peasant allied to the outward serenity of a nun She quaked
all over as she came down to her doom but when she recognized me she got such a
shock that she sat down suddenly on the lowest step She did not expect me for
another week at least and besides she explained the state I was in made her
blood take one turn
Indeed my plight seemed either to have called out or else repressed her true
nature But who had ever fathomed her nature There was none of her treacly
volubility There were none of her dear young gentlemans and poor little hearts
and references to sin In breathless silence she ran about the house getting my
room ready lighting fires and gasjets and even hauling at me to help me up the
stairs Yes she did lay hands on me for that charitable purpose They trembled
Her pale eyes hardly left my face »What brought you here like this« she
whispered once
»If I were to tell you Mademoiselle Therese you would see there the hand
of God«
She dropped the extra pillow she was carrying and then nearly fell over it
»Oh dear heart« she murmured and ran off to the kitchen
I sank into bed as into a cloud and Therese reappeared very misty and
offering me something in a cup I believe it was hot milk and after I drank it
she took the cup and stood looking at me fixedly I managed to say with
difficulty »Go away« whereupon she vanished as if by magic before the words
were fairly out of my mouth Immediately afterwards the sunlight forced through
the slats of the jalousies its diffused glow and Therese was there again as if
by magic saying in a distant voice »Its midday« Youth will have its
rights I had slept like a stone for seventeen hours
I suppose an honourable bankrupt would know such an awakening the sense of
catastrophe the shrinking from the necessity of beginning life again the faint
feeling that there are misfortunes which must be paid for by a hanging In the
course of the morning Therese informed me that the apartment usually occupied by
Mr Blunt was vacant and added mysteriously that she intended to keep it vacant
for a time because she had been instructed to do so I couldnt imagine why
Blunt should wish to return to Marseilles She told me also that the house was
empty except for myself and the two dancing girls with their father Those
people had been away for some time as the girls had engagements in some Italian
summer theatres but apparently they had secured a reengagement for winter and
were now back I let Therese talk because it kept my imagination from going to
work on subjects which I had made up my mind were no concern of mine But I
went out early to perform an unpleasant task It was only proper that I should
let the Carlist agent ensconced in the Prado Villa know of the sudden ending of
my activities It would be grave enough news for him and I did not like to be
its bearer for reasons which were mainly personal I resembled Dominic in so far
that I too disliked failure
The Marquis of Villarel had of course gone long before The man who was
there was another type of Carlist altogether and his temperament was that of a
trader He was the chief purveyor of the Legitimist armies an honest broker of
stores and enjoyed a great reputation for cleverness His important task kept
him of course in France but his young wife whose beauty and devotion to her
King were well known represented him worthily at Headquarters where his own
appearances were extremely rare The dissimilar but united loyalties of those
two people had been rewarded by the title of baron and the ribbon of some order
or other The gossip of the Legitimist circles appreciated those favours with
smiling indulgence He was the man who had been so distressed and frightened by
Doña Ritas first visit to Tolosa He had an extreme regard for his wife And in
that sphere of clashing arms and unceasing intrigue nobody would have smiled
then at his agitation if the man himself hadnt been somewhat grotesque
He must have been startled when I sent in my name for he didnt of course
expect to see me yet nobody expected me He advanced softfooted down the
room With his jutting nose flattopped skull and sable garments he recalled an
obese raven and when he heard of the disaster he manifested his astonishment
and concern in a most plebeian manner by a low and expressive whistle I of
course could not share his consternation My feelings in that connection were
of a different order but I was annoyed at his unintelligent stare
»I suppose« I said »you will take it on yourself to advise Doña Rita who
is greatly interested in this affair«
»Yes but I was given to understand that Madame de Lastaola was to leave
Paris either yesterday or this morning«
It was my turn to stare dumbly before I could manage to ask »For Tolosa«
in a very knowing tone
Whether it was the droop of his head play of light or some other subtle
cause his nose seemed to have grown perceptibly longer
»That Señor is the place where the news has got to be conveyed without
undue delay« he said in an agitated wheeze »I could of course telegraph to
our agent in Bayonne who would find a messenger But I dont like I dont like
The Alphonsists have agents too who hang about the telegraph offices Its no
use letting the enemy get that news«
He was obviously very confused unhappy and trying to think of two
different things at once
»Sit down Don George sit down« He absolutely forced a cigar on me »I am
extremely distressed That I mean Doña Rita is undoubtedly on her way to
Tolosa This is very frightful«
I must say however that there was in the man some sense of duty He
mastered his private fears After some cogitation he murmured »There is another
way of getting the news to Headquarters Suppose you write me a formal letter
just stating the facts the unfortunate facts which I will be able to forward
There is an agent of ours a fellow I have been employing for purchasing
supplies a perfectly honest man He is coming here from the north by the ten
oclock train with some papers for me of a confidential nature I was rather
embarrassed about it It wouldnt do for him to get into any sort of trouble He
is not very intelligent I wonder Don George whether you would consent to meet
him at the station and take care of him generally till tomorrow I dont like
the idea of him going about alone Then tomorrow night we would send him on
to Tolosa by the west coast route with the news and then he can also call on
Doña Rita who will no doubt be already there « He became again distracted
all in a moment and actually went so far as to wring his fat hands »Oh yes
she will be there« he exclaimed in most pathetic accents
I was not in the humour to smile at anything and he must have been
satisfied with the gravity with which I beheld his extraordinary antics My mind
was very far away I thought Why not Why shouldnt I also write a letter to
Doña Rita telling her that now nothing stood in the way of my leaving Europe
because really the enterprise couldnt be begun again that things that come
to an end can never be begun again The idea never again had complete
possession of my mind I could think of nothing else Yes I would write The
worthy Commissary General of the Carlist forces was under the impression that I
was looking at him but what I had in my eye was a jumble of butterfly women and
winged youths and the soft sheen of Argand lamps gleaming on an arrow of gold in
the hair of a head that seemed to evade my outstretched hand
»Oh yes« I said »I have nothing to do and even nothing to think of just
now I will meet your man as he gets off the train at ten oclock tonight
Whats he like«
»Oh he has a black moustache and whiskers and his chin is shaved« said
the newly fledged baron cordially »A very honest fellow I always found him
very useful His name is José Ortega«
He was perfectly selfpossessed now and walking softfooted accompanied me
to the door of the room He shook hands with a melancholy smile »This is a very
frightful situation My poor wife will be quite distracted She is such a
patriot Many thanks Don George You relieve me greatly The fellow is rather
stupid and rather badtempered Queer creature but very honest Oh very
honest«
IV
It was the last evening of Carnival The same masks the same yells the same
mad rushes the same bedlam of disguised humanity blowing about the streets in
the great gusts of mistral that seemed to make them dance like dead leaves on an
earth where all joy is watched by death
It was exactly twelve months since that other carnival evening when I had
felt a little weary and a little lonely but at peace with all mankind It must
have been to a day or two But on this evening it wasnt merely loneliness
that I felt I felt bereaved with a sense of a complete and universal loss in
which there was perhaps more resentment than mourning as if the world had not
been taken away from me by an august decree but filched from my innocence by an
underhand fate at the very moment when it had disclosed to my passion its warm
and generous beauty This consciousness of universal loss had this advantage
that it induced something resembing a state of philosophic indifference I
walked up to the railway station caring as little for the cold blasts of wind as
though I had been going to the scaffold The delay of the train did not irritate
me in the least I had finally made up my mind to write a letter to Doña Rita
and this honest fellow for whom I was waiting would take it to her He would
have no difficulty in Tolosa in finding Madame de Lastaola The General
Headquarters which was also a Court would be buzzing with comments on her
presence Most likely that honest fellow was already known to Doña Rita For all
I knew he might have been her discovery just as I was Probably I too was
regarded as an honest fellow enough but stupid since it was clear that my
luck was not inexhaustible I hoped that while carrying my letter the man would
not let himself be caught by some Alphonsist guerilla who would of course
shoot him But why should he I for instance had escaped with my life from a
much more dangerous enterprise than merely passing through the frontier line in
charge of some trustworthy guide I pictured the fellow to myself trudging over
the stony slopes and scrambling down wild ravines with my letter to Doña Rita in
his pocket It would be such a letter of farewell as no lover had ever written
no woman in the world had ever read since the beginning of love on earth It
would be worthy of the woman No experience no memories no dead traditions of
passion or language would inspire it She herself would be its sole inspiration
She would see her own image in it as in a mirror and perhaps then she would
understand what it was I was saying farewell to on the very threshold of my
life A breath of vanity passed through my brain A letter as moving as her mere
existence was moving would be something unique I regretted I was not a poet
I woke up to a great noise of feet a sudden influx of people through the
doors of the platform I made out my mans whiskers at once not that they were
enormous but because I had been warned beforehand of their existence by the
excellent Commissary General At first I saw nothing of him but his whiskers
they were black and cut somewhat in the shape of a sharks fin and so very fine
that the least breath of air animated them into a sort of playful restlessness
The mans shoulders were hunched up and when he had made his way clear of the
throng of passengers I perceived him as an unhappy and shivery being Obviously
he didnt expect to be met because when I murmured an enquiring »Señor
Ortega« into his ear he swerved away from me and nearly dropped a little
handbag he was carrying His complexion was uniformly pale his mouth was red
but not engaging His social status was not very definite He was wearing a dark
blue overcoat of no particular cut his aspect had no relief yet those restless
sidewhiskers flanking his red mouth and the suspicious expression of his black
eyes made him noticeable This I regretted the more because I caught sight of
two skulking fellows looking very much like policemen in plain clothes
watching us from a corner of the great hall I hurried my man into a fiacre He
had been travelling from early morning on crosscountry lines and after we got
on terms a little confessed to being very hungry and cold His red lips trembled
and I noted an underhand cynical curiosity when he had occasion to raise his
eyes to my face I was in some doubt how to dispose of him but as we rolled on
at a jog trot I came to the conclusion that the best thing to do would be to
organize for him a shakedown in the studio Obscure lodging houses are
precisely the places most looked after by the police and even the best hotels
are bound to keep a register of arrivals I was very anxious that nothing should
stop his projected mission of courier to Headquarters As we passed various
street corners where the mistral blast struck at us fiercely I could feel him
shivering by my side However Therese would have lighted the iron stove in the
studio before retiring for the night and anyway I would have to turn her out
to make up a bed on the couch Service of the King I must say that she was
amiable and didnt seem to mind anything one asked her to do Thus while the
fellow slumbered on the divan I would sit upstairs in my room setting down on
paper those great words of passion and sorrow that seethed in my brain and even
must have forced themselves in murmurs on to my lips because the man by my side
suddenly asked me »What did you say« »Nothing« I answered very much
surprised In the shifting light of the street lamps he looked the picture of
bodily misery with his chattering teeth and his whiskers blown back flat over
his ears But somehow he didnt arouse my compassion He was swearing to
himself in French and Spanish and I tried to soothe him by the assurance that
we had not much farther to go »I am starving« he remarked acidly and I felt a
little compunction Clearly the first thing to do was to feed him We were then
entering the Cannebière and as I didnt care to show myself with him in the
fashionable restaurant where a new face and such a face too would be
remarked I pulled up the fiacre at the door of the Maison Dorée That was more
of a place of general resort where in the multitude of casual patrons he would
pass unnoticed
For this last night of Carnival the big house had decorated all its
balconies with rows of coloured paper lanterns right up to the roof I led the
way to the grand salon for as to private rooms they had been all retained days
before There was a great crowd of people in costume but by a piece of good
luck we managed to secure a little table in a corner The revellers intent on
their pleasure paid no attention to us Señor Ortega trod on my heels and after
sitting down opposite me threw an illnatured glance at the festive scene It
might have been about halfpast ten then
Two glasses of wine he drank one after another did not improve his temper
He only ceased to shiver After he had eaten something it must have occurred to
him that he had no reason to bear me a grudge and he tried to assume a civil and
even friendly manner His mouth however betrayed an abiding bitterness I mean
when he smiled In repose it was a very expressionless mouth only it was too
red to be altogether ordinary The whole of him was like that the whiskers too
black the hair too shiny the forehead too white the eyes too mobile and he
lent you his attention with an air of eagerness which made you uncomfortable He
seemed to expect you to give yourself away by some unconsidered word that he
would snap up with delight It was that peculiarity that somehow put me on my
guard I had no idea whom I was facing across the table and as a matter of fact
I did not care All my impressions were blurred and even the promptings of my
instinct were the haziest thing imaginable Now and then I had acute
hallucinations of a woman with an arrow of gold in her hair This caused
alternate moments of exaltation and depression from which I tried to take refuge
in conversation but Señor Ortega was not stimulating He was preoccupied with
personal matters When suddenly he asked me whether I knew why he had been
called away from his work he had been buying supplies from peasants somewhere
in Central France I answered that I didnt know what the reason was
originally but I had an idea that the present intention was to make of him a
courier bearing certain messages from Baron H to the Quartel Real in Tolosa
He glared at me like a basilisk »And why have I been met like this« he
enquired with an air of being prepared to hear a lie
I explained that it was the Barons wish as a matter of prudence and to
avoid any possible trouble which might arise from enquiries by the police
He took it badly What nonsense He was he said an employé for several
years of Hernandez Brothers in Paris an importing firm and he was travelling
on their business as he could prove He dived into his side pocket and
produced a handful of folded papers of all sorts which he plunged back again
instantly
And even then I didnt know whom I had there opposite me busy now
devouring a slice of paté de foie gras Not in the least It never entered my
head How could it The Rita that haunted me had no history she was but the
principle of life charged with fatality Her form was only a mirage of desire
decoying one step by step into despair
Señor Ortega gulped down some more wine and suggested I should tell him who
I was »Its only right I should know« he added
This could not be gainsaid and to a man connected with the Carlist
organization the shortest way was to introduce myself as that Monsieur George of
whom he had probably heard
He leaned far over the table till his very breastbone was over the edge
as though his eyes had been stilettos and he wanted to drive them home into my
brain It was only much later that I understood how near death I had been at
that moment But the knives on the tablecloth were the usual restaurant knives
with rounded ends and about as deadly as pieces of hoopiron Perhaps in the
very gust of his fury he remembered what a French restaurant knife is like and
something sane within him made him give up the sudden project of cutting my
heart out where I sat For it could have been nothing but a sudden impulse His
settled purpose was quite other It was not my heart that he was after His
fingers indeed were groping amongst the knife handles by the side of his plate
but what captivated my attention for a moment were his red lips which were
formed into an odd sly insinuating smile Heard To be sure he had heard The
chief of the great arms smuggling organization
»Oh« I said »thats giving me too much importance« The person responsible
and whom I looked upon as chief of all the business was as he might have heard
too a certain noble and loyal lady
»I am as noble as she is« he snapped peevishly and I put him down at once
as a very offensive beast »And as to being loyal what is that It is being
truthful It is being faithful I know all about her«
I managed to preserve an air of perfect unconcern He wasnt a fellow to
whom one could talk of Doña Rita »You are a Basque« I said
He admitted rather contemptuously that he was a Basque and even then the
truth did not dawn upon me I suppose that with the hidden egoism of a lover I
was thinking of myself of myself alone in relation to Doña Rita not of Doña
Rita herself He too obviously He said »I am an educated man but I know her
people all peasants There is a sister an uncle a priest a peasant too and
perfectly unenlightened One cant expect much from a priest I am a
freethinker of course but he is really too bad more like a brute beast As
to all her people mostly dead now they never were of any account There was a
little land but they were always working on other peoples farms a barefooted
gang a starved lot I ought to know because we are distant relations Twentieth
cousins or something of the sort Yes I am related to that most loyal lady And
what is she after all but a Parisian woman with innumerable lovers as I have
been told«
»I dont think your information is very correct« I said affecting to yawn
slightly »This is mere gossip of the gutter and I am surprised at you who
really know nothing about it «
But the disgusting animal had fallen into a brown study The hair of his
very whiskers was perfectly still I had now given up all idea of the letter to
Rita Suddenly he spoke again
»Women are the origin of all evil One should never trust them They have no
honour No honour« he repeated striking his breast with his closed fist on
which the knuckles stood out very white »I left my village many years ago and
of course I am perfectly satisfied with my position and I dont know why I
should trouble my head about this loyal lady I suppose thats the way women get
on in the world«
I felt convinced that he was no proper person to be a messenger to
Headquarters He struck me as altogether untrustworthy and perhaps not quite
sane This was confirmed by him saying suddenly with no visible connection and
as if it had been forced from him by some agonizing process »I was a boy once«
and then stopping dead short with a smile He had a smile that frightened one by
its association of malice and anguish
»Will you have anything more to eat« I asked
He declined dully He had had enough But he drained the last of a bottle
into his glass and accepted a cigar which I offered him While he was lighting
it I had a sort of confused impression that he wasnt such a stranger to me as I
had assumed he was and yet on the other hand I was perfectly certain I had
never seen him before Next moment I felt that I could have knocked him down if
he hadnt looked so amazingly unhappy while he came out with the astounding
question »Señor have you ever been a lover in your young days«
»What do you mean« I asked »How old do you think I am«
»Thats true« he said gazing at me in a way in which the damned gaze out
of their cauldrons of boiling pitch at some soul walking scot free in the place
of torment »Its true you dont seem to have anything on your mind« He
assumed an air of ease throwing an arm over the back of his chair and blowing
the smoke through the gash of his twisted red mouth »Tell me« he said
»between men you know has this wonderful celebrity what does she call
herself How long has she been your mistress«
I reflected rapidly that if I knocked him over chair and all by a sudden
blow from the shoulder it would bring about infinite complications beginning
with a visit to the Commissaire de Police on nightduty and ending in God knows
what scandal and disclosures of political kind because there was no telling
what or how much this outrageous brute might choose to say and how many people
he might not involve in a most undesirable publicity He was smoking his cigar
with a poignantly mocking air and not even looking at me One cant hit like
that a man who isnt even looking at one and then just as I was looking at him
swinging his leg with a caustic smile and stony eyes I felt sorry for the
creature It was only his body that was there in that chair It was manifest to
me that his soul was absent in some hell of its own At that moment I attained
the knowledge of who it was I had before me This was the man of whom both Doña
Rita and Rose were so much afraid It remained then for me to look after him for
the night and then arrange with Baron H that he should be sent away the very
next day and anywhere but to Tolosa Yes evidently I mustnt lose sight of
him I proposed in the calmest tone that we should go on where he could get his
muchneeded rest He rose with alacrity picked up his little handbag and
walking out before me no doubt looked a very ordinary person to all eyes but
mine It was then past eleven not much because we had not been in that
restaurant quite an hour but the routine of the towns nightlife being upset
during the Carnival the usual row of fiacres outside the Maison Dorée was not
there in fact there were very few carriages about Perhaps the coachmen had
assumed Pierrot costumes and were rushing about the streets on foot yelling with
the rest of the population »We will have to walk« I said after a while »Oh
yes let us walk« assented Señor Ortega »or I will be frozen here« It was
like a plaint of unutterable wretchedness I had a fancy that all his natural
heat had abandoned his limbs and gone to his brain It was otherwise with me my
head was cool but I didnt find the night really so very cold We stepped out
briskly side by side My lucid thinking was as it were enveloped by the wide
shouting of the consecrated Carnival gaiety I have heard many noises since but
nothing that gave me such an intimate impression of the savage instincts hidden
in the breast of mankind these yells of festivity suggested agonizing fear
rage of murder ferocity of lust and the irremediable joylessness of human
condition yet they were emitted by people who were convinced that they were
amusing themselves supremely traditionally with the sanction of ages with the
approval of their conscience and no mistake about it whatever Our appearance
the soberness of our gait made us conspicuous Once or twice by common
inspiration masks rushed forward and forming a circle danced round us uttering
discordant shouts of derision for we were an outrage to the peculiar
proprieties of the hour and besides we were obviously lonely and defenceless
On these occasions there was nothing for it but to stand still till the flurry
was over My companion however would stamp his feet with rage and I must
admit that I myself regretted not having provided for our wearing a couple of
false noses which would have been enough to placate the just resentment of
those people We might have also joined in the dance but for some reason or
other it didnt occur to us and I heard once a high clear womans voice
stigmatizing us for a species of swelled heads espèce denflés We proceeded
sedately my companion muttered with rage and I was able to resume my thinking
It was based on the deep persuasion that the man at my side was insane with
quite another than Carnivalesque lunacy which comes on at one stated time of the
year He was fundamentally mad though not perhaps completely which of course
made him all the greater I wont say danger but nuisance
I remember once a young doctor expounding the theory that most catastrophes
in family circles surprising episodes in public affairs and disasters in
private life had their origin in the fact that the world was full of halfmad
people He asserted that they were the real majority When asked whether he
considered himself as belonging to the majority he said frankly that he didnt
think so unless the folly of voicing this view in a company so utterly unable
to appreciate all its horror could be regarded as the first symptom of his own
fate We shouted down him and his theory but there is no doubt that it had
thrown a chill on the gaiety of our gathering
We had now entered a quieter quarter of the town and Señor Ortega had ceased
his muttering For myself I had not the slightest doubt of my own sanity It was
proved to me by the way I could apply my intelligence to the problem of what was
to be done with Señor Ortega Generally he was unfit to be trusted with any
mission whatever The instability of his temper was sure to get him into a
scrape Of course carrying a letter to Headquarters was not a very complicated
matter and as to that I would have trusted willingly a properly trained dog My
private letter to Doña Rita the wonderful the unique letter of farewell I had
given up for the present Naturally I thought of the Ortega problem mainly in
the terms of Doña Ritas safety Her image presided at every council at every
conflict of my mind and dominated every faculty of my senses It floated before
my eyes it touched my elbow it guarded my right side and my left side my ears
seemed to catch the sound of her footsteps behind me she enveloped me with
passing whiffs of warmth and perfume with filmy touches of the hair on my face
She penetrated me my head was full of her And his head too I thought
suddenly with a side glance at my companion He walked quietly with hunchedup
shoulders carrying his little handbag and he looked the most commonplace figure
imaginable
Yes There was between us a most horrible fellowship the association of his
crazy torture with the sublime suffering of my passion We hadnt been a quarter
of an hour together when that woman had surged up fatally between us between
this miserable wretch and myself We were haunted by the same image But I was
sane I was sane Not because I was certain that the fellow must not be allowed
to go to Tolosa but because I was perfectly alive to the difficulty of stopping
him from going there since the decision was absolutely in the hands of Baron H
If I were to go early in the morning and tell that fat bilious man »Look
here your Ortegas mad« he would certainly think at once that I was get very
frightened and one couldnt tell what course he would take He would
eliminate me somehow out of the affair And yet I would not let the fellow
proceed to where Doña Rita was because obviously he had been molesting her
had filled her with uneasiness and even alarm was an unhappy element and a
disturbing influence in her life incredible as the thing appeared I couldnt
let him go on to make himself a worry and a nuisance drive her out from a town
in which she wished to be for whatever reason and perhaps start some explosive
scandal And that girl Rose seemed to fear something graver even than a scandal
But if I were to explain the matter fully to H he would simply rejoice in his
heart Nothing would please him more than to have Doña Rita driven out of
Tolosa What a relief from his anxieties and his wifes too and if I were to
go further if I even went so far as to hint at the fears which Rose had not
been able to conceal from me why then I went on thinking coldly with a
stoical rejection of the most elementary faith in mankinds rectitude why
then that accommodating husband would simply let the ominous messenger have his
chance He would see there only his natural anxieties being laid to rest for
ever Horrible Yes But I could not take the risk In a twelvemonth I had
travelled a long way in my mistrust of mankind
We paced on steadily I thought »How on earth am I going to stop you« Had
this arisen only a month before when I had the means at hand and Dominic to
confide in I would have simply kidnapped the fellow A little trip to sea would
not have done Señor Ortega any harm though no doubt it would have been
abhorrent to his feelings But now I had not the means I couldnt even tell
where my poor Dominic was hiding his diminished head
Again I glanced at him sideways I was the taller of the two and as it
happened I met in the light of the street lamp his own stealthy glance directed
up at me with an agonized expression an expression that made me fancy I could
see the mans very soul writhing in his body like an impaled worm In spite of
my utter inexperience I had some notion of the images that rushed into his mind
at the sight of any man who had approached Doña Rita It was enough to awaken in
any human being a movement of horrified compassion but my pity went out not to
him but to Doña Rita It was for her that I felt sorry I pitied her for having
that damned soul on her track I pitied her with tenderness and indignation as
if this had been both a danger and a dishonour
I dont mean to say that those thoughts passed through my head consciously
I had only the resultant settled feeling I had however a thought too It
came on me suddenly and I asked myself with rage and astonishment »Must I then
kill that brute« There didnt seem to be any alternative Between him and Doña
Rita I couldnt hesitate I believe I gave a slight laugh of desperation The
suddenness of his sinister conclusion had in it something comic and
unbelievable It loosened my grip on my mental processes A Latin tag came into
my head about the facile descent into the abyss I marvelled at its aptness and
also that it should have come to me so pat But I believe now that it was
suggested simply by the actual declivity of the street of the Consuls which lies
on a gentle slope We had just turned the corner All the houses were dark and
in a perspective of complete solitude our two shadows dodged and wheeled about
our feet
»Here we are« I said
He was an extraordinarily chilly devil When we stopped I could hear his
teeth chattering again I dont know what came over me I had a sort of nervous
fit was incapable of finding my pockets let alone the latchkey I had the
illusion of a narrow streak of light on the wall of the house as if it had been
cracked »I hope we will be able to get in« I murmured
Señor Ortega stood waiting patiently with his handbag like a rescued
wayfarer »But you live in this house dont you« he observed
»No« I said without hesitation I didnt know how that man would behave if
he were aware that I was staying under the same roof He was half mad He might
want to talk all night try crazily to invade my privacy How could I tell
Moreover I wasnt so sure that I would remain in the house I had some notion
of going out again and walking up and down the street of the Consuls till
daylight »No an absent friend lets me use I had that latchkey this morning
Ah here it is«
I let him go in first The sickly gas flame was there on duty undaunted
waiting for the end of the world to come and put it out I think that the
blackandwhite hall surprised Ortega I had closed the front door without noise
and stood for a moment listening while he glanced about furtively There were
only two other doors in the hall right and left Their panels of ebony were
decorated with bronze applications in the centre The one on the left was of
course Blunts door As the passage leading beyond it was dark at the further
end I took Señor Ortega by the hand and led him along unresisting like a
child For some reason or other I moved on tiptoe and he followed my example
The light and the warmth of the studio impressed him favourably he laid down
his little bag rubbed his hands together and produced a smile of satisfaction
but it was such a smile as a totally ruined man would perhaps force on his lips
or a man condemned to a short shrift by his doctor I begged him to make himself
at home and said that I would go at once and hunt up the woman of the house who
would make him up a bed on the big couch there He hardly listened to what I
said What were all those things to him He knew that his destiny was to sleep
on a bed of thorns to feed on adders But he tried to show a sort of polite
interest He asked »What is this place«
»It used to belong to a painter« I mumbled
»Ah your absent friend« he said making a wry mouth »I detest all those
artists and all those writers and all politicos who are thieves and I would
go even farther and higher laying a curse on all idle lovers of women You
think perhaps I am a Royalist No If there was anybody in heaven or hell to
pray to I would pray for a revolution a red revolution everywhere«
»You astonish me« I said just to say something
»No But there are half a dozen people in the world with whom I would like
to settle accounts One could shoot them like partridges and no questions asked
Thats what revolution would mean to me«
»Its a beautifully simple view« I said »I imagine you are not the only
one who holds it but I really must look after your comforts You mustnt forget
that we have to see Baron H early tomorrow morning« And I went out quietly
into the passage wondering in what part of the house Therese had elected to
sleep that night But lo and behold when I got to the foot of the stairs there
was Therese coming down from the upper regions in her nightgown like a
sleepwalker However it wasnt that because before I could exclaim she
vanished off the first floor landing like a streak of white mist and without the
slightest sound Her attire made it perfectly clear that she could not have
heard us coming in In fact she must have been certain that the house was
empty because she was as well aware as myself that the Italian girls after
their work at the opera were going to a masked ball to dance for their own
amusement attended of course by their conscientious father But what thought
need or sudden impulse had driven Therese out of bed like this was something I
couldnt conceive
I didnt call out after her I felt sure that she would return I went up
slowly to the first floor and met her coming down again this time carrying a
lighted candle She had managed to make herself presentable in an
extraordinarily short time
»Oh my dear young Monsieur you have given me a fright«
»Yes And I nearly fainted too« I said »You looked perfectly awful
Whats the matter with you Are you ill«
She had lighted by then the gas on the landing and I must say that I had
never seen exactly that manner of face on her before She wriggled confused and
shifty before me but I ascribed this behaviour to her shocked modesty and
without troubling myself any more about her feelings I informed her that there
was a Carlist downstairs who must be put up for the night Most unexpectedly she
betrayed a ridiculous consternation but only for a moment Then she assumed at
once that I would give him hospitality upstairs where there was a campbedstead
in my dressingroom I said
»No Give him a shakedown in the studio where he is now Its warm in
there And remember I charge you strictly not to let him know that I sleep in
this house In fact I dont know myself that I will I have certain matters to
attend to this very night You will also have to serve him his coffee in the
morning I will take him away before ten oclock«
All this seemed to impress her more than I had expected As usual when she
felt curious or in some other way excited she assumed a saintly detached
expression and asked
»The dear gentleman is your friend I suppose«
»I only know he is a Spaniard and a Carlist« I said »and that ought to be
enough for you«
Instead of the usual effusive exclamations she murmured »Dear me dear me«
and departed upstairs with the candle to get together a few blankets and
pillows I suppose As for me I walked quietly downstairs on my way to the
studio I had a curious sensation that I was acting in a preordained manner
that life was not at all what I had thought it to be or else that I had been
altogether changed sometime during the day and that I was a different person
from the man whom I remembered getting out of my bed in the morning
Also feelings had altered all their values The words too had become
strange It was only the inanimate surroundings that remained what they had
always been For instance the studio
During my absence Señor Ortega had removed his coat and I found him as it
were in the air sitting in his shirt sleeves on a chair which he had taken
pains to place in the very middle of the floor I repressed an absurd impulse to
walk round him as though he had been some sort of exhibit His hands were spread
over his knees and he looked perfectly insensible I dont mean strange or
ghastly or wooden but just insensible like an exhibit And that effect
persisted even after he raised his black suspicious eyes to my face He lowered
them almost at once It was very mechanical I gave him up and became rather
concerned about myself My thought was that I had better get out of that before
any more queer notions came into my head So I only remained long enough to tell
him that the woman of the house was bringing down some bedding and that I hoped
that he would have a good nights rest And directly I spoke it struck me that
this was the most extraordinary speech that ever was addressed to a figure of
that sort He however did not seem startled by it or moved in any way He
simply said
»Thank you«
In the darkest part of the long passage outside I met Therese with her arms
full of pillows and blankets
V
Coming out of the bright light of the studio I didnt make out Therese very
distinctly She however having groped in dark cupboards must have had her
pupils sufficiently dilated to have seen that I had my hat on my head This has
its importance because after what I had said to her upstairs it must have
convinced her that I was going out on some midnight business I passed her
without a word and heard behind me the door of the studio close with an
unexpected crash It strikes me now that under the circumstances I might have
without shame gone back to listen at the keyhole But truth to say the
association of events was not so clear in my mind as it may be to the reader of
this story Neither were the exact connections of persons present to my mind
And besides one doesnt listen at a keyhole but in pursuance of some plan
unless one is afflicted by a vulgar and fatuous curiosity But that vice is not
in my character As to plan I had none I moved along the passage between the
dead wall and the blackandwhite marble elevation of the staircase with hushed
footsteps as though there had been a mortally sick person somewhere in the
house And the only person that could have answered to that description was
Señor Ortega I moved on stealthy absorbed undecided asking myself
earnestly »What on earth am I going to do with him« That exclusive
preoccupation of my mind was as dangerous to Señor Ortega as typhoid fever would
have been It strikes me that this comparison is very exact People recover from
typhoid fever but generally the chance is considered poor This was precisely
his case His chance was poor though I had no more animosity towards him than a
virulent disease has against the victim it lays low He really would have
nothing to reproach me with he had run up against me unwittingly as a man
enters an infected place and now he was very ill very ill indeed No I had no
plans against him I had only the feeling that he was in mortal danger
I believe that men of the most daring character and I make no claim to it
often do shrink from the logical processes of thought It is only the Devil
they say that loves logic But I was not a devil I was not even a victim of
the Devil It was only that I had given up the direction of my intelligence
before the problem or rather that the problem had dispossessed my intelligence
and reigned in its stead side by side with a superstitious awe A dreadful order
seemed to lurk in the darkest shadows of life The madness of that Carlist with
the soul of a Jacobin the vile fears of Baron H that excellent organizer of
supplies the contact of their two ferocious stupidities and last by a remote
disaster at sea my love brought into direct contact with the situation all
that was enough to make one shudder not at the chance but at the design
For it was my love that was called upon to act here and nothing else And
love which elevates us above all safeguards above restraining principles above
all littlenesses of selfpossession yet keeps its feet always firmly on earth
remains marvellously practical in its suggestions
I discovered that however much I had imagined I had given up Rita that
whatever agonies I had gone through my hope of her had never been lost Plucked
out stamped down torn to shreds it had remained with me secret intact
invincible Before the danger of the situation it sprang full of life up in
arms the undying child of immortal love What incited me was independent of
honour and compassion it was the prompting of a love supreme practical
remorseless in its aim it was the practical thought that no woman need be
counted as lost for ever unless she be dead
This excluded for the moment all considerations of ways and means and risks
and difficulties Its tremendous intensity robbed it of all direction and left
me adrift in the big blackandwhite hall as on a silent sea It was not
properly speaking irresolution It was merely hesitation as to the next
immediate step and that step even of no great importance hesitation merely as
to the best way I could spend the rest of the night I didnt think further
forward for many reasons more or less optimistic but mainly because I have no
homicidal vein in my composition The disposition to gloat over homicide was in
that miserable creature in the studio the potential Jacobin in that confounded
buyer of agricultural produce the punctual employé of Hernandez Brothers the
jealous wretch with an obscene tongue and an imagination of the same kind to
drive him mad I thought of him without pity but also without contempt I
reflected that there were no means of sending a warning to Doña Rita in Tolosa
for of course no postal communication existed with the Headquarters And
moreover what would a warning be worth in this particular case supposing it
would reach her that she would believe it and that she would know what to do
How could I communicate to another that certitude which was in my mind the more
absolute because without proofs that one could produce
The last expression of Roses distress rang again in my ears »Madame has no
friends Not one« and I saw Doña Ritas complete loneliness beset by all sorts
of insincerities surrounded by pitfalls her greatest dangers within herself
in her generosity in her fears in her courage too What I had to do first of
all was to stop that wretch at all costs I became aware of a great mistrust of
Therese I didnt want her to find me in the hall but I was reluctant to go
upstairs to my rooms from an unreasonable feeling that there I would be too much
out of the way not sufficiently on the spot There was the alternative of a
livelong night of watching outside before the dark front of the house It was
a most distasteful prospect And then it occurred to me that Blunts former room
would be an extremely good place to keep a watch from I knew that room When
Henry Allègre gave the house to Rita in the early days long before he made his
will he had planned a complete renovation and this room had been meant for the
drawingroom Furniture had been made for it specially upholstered in beautiful
ribbed stuff made to order of dull gold colour with a pale blue tracery of
arabesques and oval medallions enclosing Ritas monogram repeated on the backs
of chairs and sofas and on the heavy curtains reaching from ceiling to floor
To the same time belonged the ebony and bronze doors the silver statuette at
the foot of the stairs the forged iron balustrade reproducing right up the
marble staircase Ritas decorative monogram in its complicated design
Afterwards the work was stopped and the house had fallen into disrepair When
Rita devoted it to the Carlist cause a bed was put into that drawingroom just
simply the bed The room next to that yellow salon had been in Allègres young
days fitted as a fencingroom containing also a bath and a complicated system
of shower and jet arrangements then quite up to date That room was very large
lighted from the top and one wall of it was covered by trophies of arms of all
sorts a choice collection of cold steel disposed on a background of Indian mats
and rugs Blunt used it as a dressingroom It communicated by a small door with
the studio
I had only to extend my hand and make one step to reach the magnificent
bronze handle of the ebony door and if I didnt want to be caught by Therese
there was no time to lose I made the step and extended the hand thinking that
it would be just like my luck to find the door locked But the door came open to
my push In contrast to the dark hall the room was most unexpectedly dazzling to
my eyes as if illuminated a giorno for a reception No voice came from it but
nothing could have stopped me now As I turned round to shut the door behind me
noiselessly I caught sight of a womans dress on a chair of other articles of
apparel scattered about The mahogany bed with a piece of light silk which
Therese found somewhere and used for a counterpane was a magnificent combination
of white and crimson between the gleaming surfaces of dark wood and the whole
room had an air of splendour with marble consoles gilt carvings long mirrors
and a sumptuous Venetian lustre depending from the ceiling a darkling mass of
icy pendants catching a spark here and there from the candles of an
eightbranched candelabra standing on a little table near the head of a sofa
which had been dragged round to face the fireplace The faintest possible whiff
of a familiar perfume made my head swim with its suggestion
I grabbed the back of the nearest piece of furniture and the splendour of
marbles and mirrors of cut crystals and carvings swung before my eyes in the
golden mist of walls and draperies round an extremely conspicuous pair of black
stockings thrown over a music stool which remained motionless The silence was
profound It was like being in an enchanted place Suddenly a voice began to
speak clear detached infinitely touching in its calm weariness
»Havent you tormented me enough today« it said My head was steady
now but my heart began to beat violently I listened to the end without moving
»Cant you make up your mind to leave me alone for tonight« It pleaded with an
accent of charitable scorn
The penetrating quality of these tones which I had not heard for so many
many days made my eyes run full of tears I guessed easily that the appeal was
addressed to the atrocious Therese The speaker was concealed from me by the
high back of the sofa but her apprehension was perfectly justified For was it
not I who had turned back Therese the pious the insatiable coming downstairs
in her nightgown to torment her sister some more Mere surprise at Doña Ritas
presence in the house was enough to paralyze me but I was also overcome by an
enormous sense of relief by the assurance of security for her and for myself I
didnt even ask myself how she came there It was enough for me that she was not
in Tolosa I could have smiled at the thought that all I had to do now was to
hasten the departure of that abominable lunatic for Tolosa an easy task
almost no task at all Yes I could have smiled had not I felt outraged by the
presence of Señor Ortega under the same roof with Doña Rita The mere fact was
repugnant to me morally revolting so that I should have liked to rush at him
and throw him out into the street But that was not to be done for various
reasons One of them was pity I was suddenly at peace with all mankind with
all nature I felt as if I couldnt hurt a fly The intensity of my emotion
sealed my lips With a fearful joy tugging at my heart I moved round the head of
the couch without a word
In the wide fireplace on a pile of white ashes the logs had a deep crimson
glow and turned towards them Doña Rita reclined on her side enveloped in the
skins of wild beasts like a charming and savage young chieftain before a camp
fire She never even raised her eyes giving me the opportunity to contemplate
mutely that adolescent delicately masculine head so mysteriously feminine in
the power of instant seduction so infinitely suave in its firm design almost
childlike in the freshness of detail altogether ravishing in the inspired
strength of the modelling That precious head reposed in the palm of her hand
the face was slightly flushed with anger perhaps She kept her eyes
obstinately fixed on the pages of a book which she was holding with her other
hand I had the time to lay my infinite adoration at her feet whose white
insteps gleamed below the dark edge of the fur out of quilted blue silk bedroom
slippers embroidered with small pearls I had never seen them before I mean
the slippers The gleam of the insteps too for that matter I lost myself in a
feeling of deep content something like a foretaste of a time of felicity which
must be quiet or it couldnt be eternal I had never tasted such perfect
quietness before It was not of this earth I had gone far beyond It was as if
I had reached the ultimate wisdom beyond all dreams and all passions She was
that which is to be contemplated to all Infinity
The perfect stillness and silence made her raise her eyes at last
reluctantly with a hard defensive expression which I had never seen in them
before And no wonder The glance was meant for Therese and assumed in
selfdefence For some time its character did not change and when it did it
turned into a perfectly stony stare of a kind which I also had never seen
before She had never wished so much to be left in peace She had never been so
astonished in her life She had arrived by the evening express only two hours
before Señor Ortega had driven to the house and after having something to eat
had become for the rest of the evening the helpless prey of her sister who had
fawned and scolded and wheedled and threatened in a way that outraged all Ritas
feelings Seizing this unexpected occasion Therese had displayed a distracting
versatility of sentiment rapacity virtue piety spite and false tenderness
while characteristically enough she unpacked the dressingbag helped the
sinner to get ready for bed brushed her hair and finally as a climax kissed
her hands partly by surprise and partly by violence After that she had retired
from the field of battle slowly undefeated still defiant firing as a last
shot the impudent question »Tell me only have you made your will Rita« To
this poor Doña Rita with the spirit of opposition strung to the highest pitch
answered »No and I dont mean to« being under the impression that this was
what her sister wanted her to do There can be no doubt however that all
Therese wanted was the information
Rita much too agitated to expect anything but a sleepless night had not
the courage to get into bed She thought she would remain on the sofa before the
fire and try to compose herself with a book As she had no dressinggown with
her she put on her long fur coat over her nightgown threw some logs on the
fire and lay down She didnt hear the slightest noise of any sort till she
heard me shut the door gently Quietness of movement was one of Thereses
accomplishments and the harassed heir of the Allègre millions naturally thought
it was her sister coming again to renew the scene Her heart sank within her In
the end she became a little frightened at the long silence and raised her eyes
She didnt believe them for a long time She concluded that I was a vision In
fact the first word which I heard her utter was a low awed »No« which though
I understood its meaning chilled my blood like an evil omen
It was then that I spoke »Yes« I said »its me that you see« and made a
step forward She didnt start only her other hand flew to the edges of the fur
coat gripping them together over her breast Observing this gesture I sat down
in the nearest chair The book she had been reading slipped with a thump on the
floor
»How is it possible that you should be here« she said still in a doubting
voice
»I am really here« I said »Would you like to touch my hand«
She didnt move at all her fingers still clutched the fur coat
»What has happened«
»Its a long story but you may take it from me that all is over The tie
between us is broken I dont know that it was ever very close It was an
external thing The true misfortune is that I have ever seen you«
This last phrase was provoked by an exclamation of sympathy on her part She
raised herself on her elbow and looked at me intently »All over« she murmured
»Yes we had to wreck the little vessel It was awful I feel like a
murderer But she had to be killed«
»Why«
»Because I loved her too much Dont you know that love and death go very
close together«
»I could feel almost happy that it is all over if you hadnt had to lose
your love Oh amigo George it was a safe love for you«
»Yes« I said »It was a faithful little vessel She would have saved us all
from any plain danger But this was a betrayal It was never mind All thats
past The question is what will the next one be«
»Why should it be that«
»I dont know Life seems but a series of betrayals There are so many kinds
of them This was a betrayed plan but one can betray confidence and hope and
desire and the most sacred «
»But what are you doing here« she interrupted
»Oh yes The eternal why Till a few hours ago I didnt know what I was
here for And what are you here for« I asked point blank and with a bitterness
she disregarded She even answered my question quite readily with many words out
of which I could make very little I only learned that for at least five mixed
reasons none of which impressed me profoundly Doña Rita had started at a
moments notice from Paris with nothing but a dressingbag and permitting Rose
to go and visit her aged parents for two days and then follow her mistress
That girl of late had looked so perturbed and worried that the sensitive Rita
fearing that she was tired of her place proposed to settle a sum of money on
her which would have enabled her to devote herself entirely to her aged parents
And did I know what that extraordinary girl said She had said »Dont let
Madame think that I would be too proud to accept anything whatever from her but
I cant even dream of leaving Madame I believe Madame has no friends Not one«
So instead of a large sum of money Doña Rita gave the girl a kiss and as she had
been worried by several people who wanted her to go to Tolosa she bolted down
this way just to get clear of all those busybodies »Hide from them« she went
on with ardour »Yes I came here to hide« she repeated twice as if delighted
at last to have hit on that reason among so many others »How could I tell that
you would be here« Then with sudden fire which only added to the delight with
which I had been watching the play of her physiognomy she added »Why did you
come into this room«
She enchanted me The ardent modulations of the sound the slight play of
the beautiful lips the still deep sapphire gleam in those long eyes inherited
from the dawn of ages and that seemed always to watch unimaginable things that
underlying faint ripple of gaiety that played under all her moods as though it
had been a gift from the high gods moved to pity for this lonely mortal all
this within the four walls and displayed for me alone gave me the sense of
almost intolerable joy The words didnt matter They had to be answered of
course
»I came in for several reasons One of them is that I didnt know you were
here«
»Therese didnt tell you«
»No«
»Never talked to you about me«
I hesitated only for a moment »Never« I said Then I asked in my turn
»Did she tell you I was here«
»No« she said
»Its very clear she did not mean us to come together again«
»Neither did I my dear«
»What do you mean by speaking like this in this tone in these words You
seem to use them as if they were a sort of formula Am I a dear to you Or is
anybody or everybody «
She had been for some time raised on her elbow but then as if something had
happened to her vitality she sank down till her head rested again on the sofa
cushion
»Why do you try to hurt my feelings« she asked
»For the same reason for which you call me dear at the end of a sentence
like that for want of something more amusing to do You dont pretend to make
me believe that you do it for any sort of reason that a decent person would
confess to«
The colour had gone from her face but a fit of wickedness was on me and I
pursued »What are the motives of your speeches What prompts your actions On
your own showing your life seems to be a continuous running away You have just
run away from Paris Where will you run tomorrow What are you everlastingly
running from or is it that you are running after something What is it A man
a phantom or some sensation that you dont like to own to«
Truth to say I was abashed by the silence which was her only answer to this
sally I said to myself that I would not let my natural anger my just fury be
disarmed by any assumption of pathos or dignity I suppose I was really out of
my mind and what in the middle ages would have been called possessed by an evil
spirit I went on enjoying my own villainy
»Why arent you in Tolosa You ought to be in Tolosa Isnt Tolosa the
proper field for your abilities for your sympathies for your profusions for
your generosities the king without a crown the man without a fortune But
here there is nothing worthy of your talents No there is no longer anything
worth any sort of trouble here There isnt even that ridiculous Monsieur
George I understand that the talk of the coast from here to Cette is that
Monsieur George is drowned Upon my word I believe he is And serve him right
too Theres Therese but I dont suppose that your love for your sister «
»For goodness sake dont let her come in and find you here«
Those words recalled me to myself exorcised the evil spirit by the mere
enchanting power of the voice They were also impressive by their suggestion of
something practical utilitarian and remote from sentiment The evil spirit
left me and I remained taken aback slightly
»Well« I said »if you mean that you want me to leave the room I will
confess to you that I cant very well do it yet But I could lock both doors if
you dont mind that«
»Do what you like as long as you keep her out You two together would be too
much for me tonight Why dont you go and lock those doors I have a feeling
she is on the prowl«
I got up at once saying »I imagine she has gone to bed by this time« I
felt absolutely calm and responsible I turned the keys one after another so
gently that I couldnt hear the click of the locks myself This done I recrossed
the room with measured steps with downcast eyes and approaching the couch
without raising them from the carpet I sank down on my knees and leaned my
forehead on its edge That penitential attitude had but little remorse in it I
detected no movement and heard no sound from her In one place a bit of the fur
coat touched my cheek softly but no forgiving hand came to rest on my bowed
head I only breathed deeply the faint scent of violets her own particular
fragrance enveloping my body penetrating my very heart with an inconceivable
intimacy bringing me closer to her than the closest embrace and yet so subtle
that I sensed her existence in me only as a great glowing indeterminate
tenderness something like the evening light disclosing after the white passion
of the day infinite depths in the colours of the sky and an unsuspected soul of
peace in the protean forms of life I had not known such quietness for months
and I detected in myself an immense fatigue a longing to remain where I was
without changing my position to the end of time Indeed to remain seemed to me a
complete solution for all the problems that life presents even as to the very
death itself
Only the unwelcome reflection that this was impossible made me get up at
last with a sigh of deep grief at the end of the dream But I got up without
despair She didnt murmur she didnt stir There was something august in the
stillness of the room It was a strange peace which she shared with me in this
unexpected shelter full of disorder in its neglected splendour What troubled me
was the sudden as it were material consciousness of time passing as water
flows It seemed to me that it was only the tenacity of my sentiment that held
that womans body extended and tranquil above the flood But when I ventured at
last to look at her face I saw her flushed her teeth clenched it was visible
her nostrils dilated and in her narrow levelglancing eyes a look of inward
and frightened ecstasy The edges of the fur coat had fallen open and I was
moved to turn away I had the same impression as on the evening we parted that
something had happened which I did not understand only this time I had not
touched her at all I really didnt understand At the slightest whisper I would
now have gone out without a murmur as though that emotion had given her the
right to be obeyed But there was no whisper and for a long time I stood
leaning on my arm looking into the fire and feeling distinctly between the four
walls of that locked room the unchecked time flow past our two stranded
personalities
And suddenly she spoke She spoke in that voice that was so profoundly
moving without ever being sad a little wistful perhaps and always the supreme
expression of her grace She asked as if nothing had happened
»What are you thinking of amigo«
I turned about She was lying on her side tranquil above the smooth flow of
time again closely wrapped up in her fur her head resting on the oldgold sofa
cushion bearing like everything else in that room the decoratively enlaced
letters of her monogram her face a little pale now with the crimson lobe of
her ear under the tawny mist of her loose hair the lips a little parted and
her glance of melted sapphire level and motionless darkened by fatigue
»Can I think of anything but you« I murmured taking a seat near the foot
of the couch »Or rather it isnt thinking it is more like the consciousness of
you always being present in me complete to the last hair to the faintest shade
of expression and that not only when we are apart but when we are together
alone as close as this I see you now lying on this couch but that is only the
insensible phantom of the real you that is in me And it is the easier for me to
feel this because that image which others see and call by your name how am I
to know that it is anything else but an enchanting mist You have always eluded
me except in one or two moments which seem still more dreamlike than the rest
Since I came into this room you have done nothing to destroy my conviction of
your unreality apart from myself You havent offered me your hand to touch Is
it because you suspect that apart from me you are but a mere phantom and that
you fear to put it to the test«
One of her hands was under the fur and the other under her cheek She made
no sound She didnt offer to stir She didnt move her eyes not even when I
had added after waiting for a while
»Just what I expected You are a cold illusion«
She smiled mysteriously right away from me straight at the fire and that
was all
VI
I had a momentary suspicion that I had said something stupid Her smile amongst
many other things seemed to have meant that too And I answered it with a
certain resignation
»Well I dont know that you are so much mist I remember once hanging on to
you like a drowning man But perhaps I had better not speak of this It
wasnt so very long ago and you may «
»I dont mind Well «
»Well I have kept an impression of great solidity Ill admit that A woman
of granite«
»A doctor once told me that I was made to last for ever« she said
»But essentially its the same thing« I went on »Granite too is
insensible«
I watched her profile against the pillow and there came on her face an
expression I knew well when with an indignation full of suppressed laughter she
used to throw at me the word Imbecile I expected it to come but it didnt
come I must say though that I was swimmy in my head and now and then had a
noise as of the sea in my ears so I might not have heard it The woman of
granite built to last for ever continued to look at the glowing logs which
made a sort of fiery ruin on the white pile of ashes »I will tell you how it
is« I said »When I have you before my eyes there is such a projection of my
whole being towards you that I fail to see you distinctly It was like that from
the beginning I may say that I never saw you distinctly till after we had
parted and I thought you had gone from my sight for ever It was then that you
took body in my imagination and that my mind seized on a definite form of you
for all its adorations for its profanation too Dont imagine me grovelling
in spiritual abasement before a mere image I got a grip on you that nothing can
shake now«
»Dont speak like this« she said »Its too much for me And there is a
whole long night before us«
»You dont think that I dealt with you sentimentally enough perhaps But the
sentiment was there as clear a flame as ever burned on earth from the most
remote ages before that eternal thing which is in you which is your heirloom
And is it my fault that what I had to give was real flame and not a mystics
incense It is neither your fault nor mine And now whatever we say to each
other at night or in daylight that sentiment must be taken for granted It will
be there on the day I die when you wont be there«
She continued to look fixedly at the red embers and from her lips that
hardly moved came the quietest possible whisper »Nothing would be easier than
to die for you«
»Really« I cried »And you expect me perhaps after this to kiss your feet
in a transport of gratitude while I hug the pride of your words to my breast
But as it happens there is nothing in me but contempt for this sublime
declaration How dare you offer me this charlatanism of passion What has it got
to do between you and me who are the only two beings in the world that may
safely say that we have no need of shams between ourselves Is it possible that
you are a charlatan at heart Not from egoism I admit but from some sort of
fear Yet should you be sincere then listen well to me I would never
forgive you I would visit your grave every day to curse you for an evil thing«
»Evil thing« she echoed softly
»Would you prefer to be a sham that one could forget«
»You will never forget me« she said in the same tone at the glowing embers
»Evil or good But my dear I feel neither an evil nor a sham I have got to be
what I am and that amigo is not so easy because I may be simple but like
all those on whom there is no peace I am not One No I am not One«
»You are all the women in the world« I whispered bending over her She
didnt seem to be aware of anything and only spoke always to the glow
»If I were that I would say God help them then But that would be more
appropriate for Therese For me I can only give them my infinite compassion I
have too much reverence in me to invoke the name of a God of whom clever men
have robbed me a long time ago How could I help it For the talk was clever and
and I had a mind And I am also as Therese says naturally sinful Yes my
dear I may be naturally wicked but I am not evil and I could die for you«
»You« I said »You are afraid to die«
»Yes But not for you«
The whole structure of glowing logs fell down raising a small turmoil of
white ashes and sparks The tiny crash seemed to wake her up thoroughly She
turned her head upon the cushion to look at me
»Its a very extraordinary thing we two coming together like this« she
said with conviction »You coming in without knowing I was here and then telling
me that you cant very well go out of the room That sounds funny I wouldnt
have been angry if you had said that you wouldnt It would have hurt me But
nobody ever paid much attention to my feelings Why do you smile like this«
»At a thought Without any charlatanism of passion I am able to tell you of
something to match your devotion I was not afraid for your sake to come within
a hairs breadth of what to all the world would have been a squalid crime Note
that you and I are persons of honour And there might have been a criminal trial
at the end of it for me Perhaps the scaffold«
»Do you say these horrors to make me tremble«
»Oh you neednt tremble There shall be no crime I need not risk the
scaffold since now you are safe But I entered this room meditating resolutely
on the ways of murder calculating possibilities and chances without the
slightest compunction Its all over now It was all over directly I saw you
here but it had been so near that I shudder yet«
She must have been very startled because for a time she couldnt speak Then
in a faint voice
»For me For me« she faltered out twice
»For you or for myself Yet it couldnt have been selfish What would it
have been to me that you remained in the world I never expected to see you
again I even composed a most beautiful letter of farewell Such a letter as no
woman had ever received«
Instantly she shot out a hand towards me The edges of the fur cloak fell
apart A wave of the faintest possible scent floated into my nostrils
»Let me have it« she said imperiously
»You cant have it Its all in my head No woman will read it I suspect it
was something that could never have been written But what a farewell And now I
suppose we shall say goodbye without even a handshake But you are safe Only I
must ask you not to come out of this room till I tell you you may«
I was extremely anxious that Señor Ortega should never even catch a glimpse
of Doña Rita never guess how near he had been to her I was extremely anxious
the fellow should depart for Tolosa and get shot in a ravine or go to the Devil
in his own way as long as he lost the track of Doña Rita completely He then
probably would get mad and get shut up or else get cured forget all about it
and devote himself to his vocation whatever it was keep a shop and grow fat
All this flashed through my mind in an instant and while I was still dazzled by
those comforting images the voice of Doña Rita pulled me up with a jerk
»You mean not out of the house«
»No I mean not out of this room« I said with some embarrassment
»What do you mean Is there something in the house then This is most
extraordinary Stay in this room And you too it seems Are you also afraid
for yourself«
»I cant even give you an idea how afraid I was I am not so much now But
you know very well Doña Rita that I never carry any sort of weapon in my
pocket«
»Why dont you then« she asked in a flash of scorn which bewitched me so
completely for an instant that I couldnt even smile at it
»Because if I am unconventionalized I am an old European« I murmured
gently »No Excellentissima I shall go through life without as much as a
switch in my hand Its no use you being angry Adapting to this great moment
some words youve heard before I am like that Such is my character«
Doña Rita frankly stared at me a most unusual expression for her to have
Suddenly she sat up
»Don George« she said with lovely animation »I insist upon knowing who is
in my house«
»You insist But Therese says it is her house«
Had there been anything handy such as a cigarette box for instance it
would have gone sailing through the air spouting cigarettes as it went Rosy all
over cheeks neck shoulders she seemed lighted up softly from inside like a
beautiful transparency But she didnt raise her voice
»You and Therese have sworn my ruin If you dont tell me what you mean I
will go outside and shout up the stairs to make her come down I know there is
no one but the three of us in the house«
»Yes three but not counting my Jacobin There is a Jacobin in the house«
»A Jac Oh George is this the time to jest« she began in persuasive
tones when a faint but peculiar noise stilled her lips as though they had been
suddenly frozen She became quiet all over instantly I on the contrary made
an involuntary movement before I too became as still as death We strained our
ears but that peculiar metallic rattle had been so slight and the silence now
was so perfect that it was very difficult to believe ones senses Doña Rita
looked inquisitively at me I gave her a slight nod We remained looking into
each others eyes while we listened and listened till the silence became
unbearable Doña Rita whispered composedly »Did you hear«
»I am asking myself I almost think I didnt«
»Dont shuffle with me It was a scraping noise«
»Something fell«
»Something What thing What are the things that fall by themselves Who is
that man of whom you spoke Is there a man«
»No doubt about it whatever I brought him here myself«
»What for«
»Why shouldnt I have a Jacobin of my own Havent you one too But mine is
a different problem from that whitehaired humbug of yours He is a genuine
article There must be plenty like him about He has scores to settle with half
a dozen people he says and he clamours for revolutions to give him a chance«
»But why did you bring him here«
»I dont know from sudden affection «
All this passed in such low tones that we seemed to make out the words more
by watching each others lips than through our sense of hearing Man is a
strange animal I didnt care what I said All I wanted was to keep her in her
pose excited and still sitting up with her hair loose softly glowing the
dark brown fur making a wonderful contrast with the white lace on her breast
All I was thinking of was that she was adorable and too lovely for words I
cared for nothing but that sublimely æsthetic impression It summed up all life
all joy all poetry It had a divine strain I am certain that I was not in my
right mind I suppose I was not quite sane I am convinced that at that moment
of the four people in the house it was Doña Rita who upon the whole was the most
sane She observed my face and I am sure she read there something of my inward
exaltation She knew what to do In the softest possible tone and hardly above
her breath she commanded »George come to yourself«
Her gentleness had the effect of evening light I was soothed Her
confidence in her own power touched me profoundly I suppose my love was too
great for madness to get hold of me I cant say that I passed to a complete
calm but I became slightly ashamed of myself I whispered
»No it was not from affection it was for the love of you that I brought
him here That imbecile H was going to send him to Tolosa«
»That Jacobin« Doña Rita was immensely surprised as she might well have
been Then resigned to the incomprehensible »Yes« she breathed out »what did
you do with him«
»I put him to bed in the studio«
How lovely she was with the effort of close attention depicted in the turn
of her head and in her whole face honestly trying to approve »And then« she
enquired
»Then I came in here to face calmly the necessity of doing away with a human
life I didnt shirk it for a moment Thats what a short twelvemonth has
brought me to Dont think I am reproaching you O blind force You are
justified because you are Whatever had to happen you would not even have heard
of it«
Horror darkened her marvellous radiance Then her face became utterly blank
with the tremendous effort to understand Absolute silence reigned in the house
It seemed to me that everything had been said now that mattered in the world
and that the world itself had reached its ultimate stage had reached its
appointed end of an eternal phantomlike silence Suddenly Doña Rita raised a
warning finger I had heard nothing and shook my head but she nodded hers and
murmured excitedly »Yes yes in the fencingroom as before«
In the same way I answered her »Impossible The door is locked and Therese
has the key« She asked then in the most cautious manner
»Have you seen Therese tonight«
»Yes« I confessed without misgiving »I left her making up the fellows bed
when I came in here«
»The bed of the Jacobin« she said in a peculiar tone as if she were
humouring a lunatic
»I think I had better tell you he is a Spaniard that he seems to know you
from early days « I glanced at her face it was extremely tense
apprehensive For myself I had no longer any doubt as to the man and I hoped she
would reach the correct conclusion herself But I believe she was too distracted
and worried to think consecutively She only seemed to feel some terror in the
air In very pity I bent down and whispered carefully near her ear »His name is
Ortega«
I expected some effect from that name but I never expected what happened
With the sudden free spontaneous agility of a young animal she leaped off the
sofa leaving her slippers behind and in one bound reached almost the middle of
the room The vigour the instinctive precision of that spring were something
amazing I just escaped being knocked over She landed lightly on her bare feet
with a perfect balance without the slightest suspicion of swaying in her
instant immobility It lasted less than a second then she spun round
distractedly and darted at the first door she could see My own agility was just
enough to enable me to grip the back of the fur coat and then catch her round
the body before she could wriggle herself out of the sleeves She was muttering
all the time »No no no« She abandoned herself to me just for an instant
during which I got her back to the middle of the room There she attempted to
free herself and I let her go at once With her face very close to mine but
apparently not knowing what she was looking at she repeated again twice »No
No« with an intonation which might well have brought dampness to my eyes but
which only made me regret that I didnt kill the honest Ortega at sight
Suddenly Doña Rita swung round and seizing her loose hair with both hands
started twisting it up before one of the sumptuous mirrors The wide fur sleeves
slipped down her white arms In a brusque movement like a downward stab she
transfixed the whole mass of tawny glints and sparks with the arrow of gold
which she perceived lying there before her on the marble console Then she
sprang away from the glass muttering feverishly »Out out out of this
house« and trying with an awful senseless stare to dodge past me who had put
myself in her way with open arms At last I managed to seize her by the
shoulders and in the extremity of my distress I shook her roughly If she hadnt
quieted down then I believe my heart would have broken I spluttered right into
her face »I wont let you Here you stay« She seemed to recognize me at last
and suddenly still perfectly firm on her white feet she let her arms fall and
from an abyss of desolation whispered »O George No No Not Ortega«
There was a passion of mature grief in this tone of appeal And yet she
remained as touching and helpless as a distressed child It had all the
simplicity and depth of a childs emotion It tugged at ones heartstrings in
the same direct way But what could one do How could one soothe her It was
impossible to pat her on the head take her on the knee give her a chocolate or
show her a picturebook I found myself absolutely without resource Completely
at a loss
»Yes Ortega Well what of it« I whispered with immense assurance
VII
My brain was in a whirl I am safe to say that at this precise moment there was
nobody completely sane in the house Setting apart Therese and Ortega both in
the grip of unspeakable passions all the moral economy of Doña Rita had gone to
pieces Everything was gone except her strong sense of life with all its implied
menaces The woman was a mere chaos of sensations and vitality I too suffered
most from inability to get hold of some fundamental thought The one on which I
could best build some hopes was the thought that of course Ortega did not know
anything I whispered this into the ear of Doña Rita into her precious her
beautifully shaped ear
But she shook her head very much like an inconsolable child and very much
with a childs complete pessimism she murmured »Therese has told him«
The words »Oh nonsense« never passed my lips because I could not cheat
myself into denying that there had been a noise and that the noise was in the
fencingroom I knew that room There was nothing there that by the wildest
stretch of imagination could be conceived as falling with that particular sound
There was a table with a tall strip of lookingglass above it at one end but
since Blunt took away his campaigning kit there was no small object of any sort
on the console or anywhere else that could have been jarred off in some
mysterious manner Along one of the walls there was the whole complicated
apparatus of solid brass pipes and quite close to it an enormous bath sunk into
the floor The greatest part of the room along its whole length was covered with
matting and had nothing else but a long narrow leatherupholstered bench fixed
to the wall And that was all And the door leading to the studio was locked
And Therese had the key And it flashed on my mind independently of Doña Ritas
pessimism by the force of personal conviction that of course Therese would
tell him I beheld the whole succession of events perfectly connected and
tending to that particular conclusion Therese would tell him I could see the
contrasted heads of those two formidable lunatics close together in a dark mist
of whispers compounded of greed piety and jealousy plotting in a sense of
perfect security as if under the very wing of Providence So at least Therese
would think She could not be but under the impression that providentially I
had been called out for the rest of the night
And now there was one sane person in the house for I had regained complete
command of my thoughts Working in a logical succession of images they showed me
at last as clearly as a picture on a wall Therese pressing with fervour the key
into the fevered palm of the rich prestigious virtuous cousin so that he
should go and urge his selfsacrificing offer to Rita and gain merit before Him
whose Eye sees all the actions of men And this image of those two with the key
in the studio seemed to me a most monstrous conception of fanaticism of a
perfectly horrible aberration For who could mistake the state that made José
Ortega the figure he was inspiring both pity and fear I could not deny that I
understood not the full extent but the exact nature of his suffering Young as
I was I had solved for myself that grotesque and sombre personality His contact
with me the personal contact with as he thought one of the actual lovers of
that woman who brought to him as a boy the curse of the gods had tipped over
the trembling scales No doubt I was very near death in the grand salon of the
Maison Dorée only that his torture had gone too far It seemed to me that I
ought to have heard his very soul scream while we were seated at supper But in
a moment he had ceased to care for me I was nothing To the crazy exaggeration
of his jealousy I was but one amongst a hundred thousand What was my death
Nothing All mankind had possessed that woman I knew what his wooing of her
would be Mine or Dead
All this ought to have had the clearness of noonday even to the veriest
idiot that ever lived and Therese was properly speaking exactly that An
idiot A oneideaed creature Only the idea was complex therefore it was
impossible really to say what she wasnt capable of This was what made her
obscure processes so awful She had at times the most amazing perceptions Who
could tell where her simplicity ended and her cunning began She had also the
faculty of never forgetting any fact bearing upon her one idea and I remembered
now that the conversation with me about the will had produced on her an
indelible impression of the Laws surprising justice Recalling her naïve
admiration of the just law that required no paper from a sister I saw her
casting loose the raging fate with a sanctimonious air And Therese would
naturally give the key of the fencingroom to her dear virtuous grateful
disinterested cousin to that damned soul with delicate whiskers because she
would think it just possible that Rita might have locked the door leading from
her room into the hall whereas there was no earthly reason not the slightest
likelihood that she would bother about the other Righteousness demanded that
the erring sister should be taken unawares
All the above is the analysis of one short moment Images are to words like
light to sound incomparably swifter And all this was really one flash of
light through my mind A comforting thought succeeded it that both doors were
locked and that really there was no danger
However there had been that noise the why and the how of it Of course in
the dark he might have fallen into the bath but that wouldnt have been a faint
noise It wouldnt have been a rattle There was absolutely nothing he could
knock over He might have dropped a candlestick if Therese had left him her own
That was possible but then those thick mats and then anyway why should he
drop it and hang it all why shouldnt he have gone straight on and tried the
door I had suddenly a sickening vision of the fellow crouching at the keyhole
listening listening listening for some movement or sigh of the sleeper he was
ready to tear away from the world alive or dead I had a conviction that he was
still listening Why Goodness knows He may have been only gloating over the
assurance that the night was long and that he had all these hours to himself
I was pretty certain that he could have heard nothing of our whispers the
room was too big for that and the door too solid I hadnt the same confidence
in the efficiency of the lock Still Guarding my lips with my hand I urged
Doña Rita to go back to the sofa She wouldnt answer me and when I got hold of
her arm I discovered that she wouldnt move She had taken root in that
thickpile Aubusson carpet and she was so rigidly still all over that the
brilliant stones in the shaft of the arrow of gold with the six candles at the
head of the sofa blazing full on them emitted no sparkle
I was extremely anxious that she shouldnt betray herself I reasoned save
the mark as a psychologist I had no doubt that the man knew of her being
there but he only knew it by hearsay And that was bad enough I could not help
feeling that if he obtained some evidence for his senses by any sort of noise
voice or movement his madness would gain strength enough to burst the lock I
was rather ridiculously worried about the locks A horrid mistrust of the whole
house possessed me I saw it in the light of a deadly trap I had no weapon I
couldnt say whether he had one or not I wasnt afraid of a struggle as far as
I myself was concerned but I was afraid of it for Doña Rita To be rolling at
her feet locked in a literally toothandnail struggle with Ortega would have
been odious I wanted to spare her feelings just as I would have been anxious
to save from any contact with mud the feet of that goatherd of the mountains
with a symbolic face I looked at her face For immobility it might have been a
carving I wished I knew how to deal with that embodied mystery to influence
it to manage it Oh how I longed for the gift of authority In addition since
I had become completely sane all my scruples against laying hold of her had
returned I felt shy and embarrassed My eyes were fixed on the bronze handle of
the fencingroom door as if it were something alive I braced myself up against
the moment when it would move This was what was going to happen next It would
move very gently My heart began to thump But I was prepared to keep myself as
still as death and I hoped Doña Rita would have sense enough to do the same I
stole another glance at her face and at that moment I heard the word »Beloved«
form itself in the still air of the room weak distinct piteous like the last
request of the dying
With great presence of mind I whispered into Doña Ritas ear »Perfect
silence« and was overjoyed to discover that she had heard me understood me
that she even had command over her rigid lips She answered me in a breath our
cheeks were nearly touching »Take me out of this house«
I glanced at all her clothing scattered about the room and hissed forcibly
the warning Perfect immobility noticing with relief that she didnt offer to
move though animation was returning to her and her lips had remained parted in
an awful unintended effect of a smile And I dont know whether I was pleased
when she who was not to be touched gripped my wrist suddenly It had the air
of being done on purpose because almost instantly another »Beloved« louder
more agonized if possible got into the room and yes went home to my heart It
was followed without any transition preparation or warning by a positively
bellowed »Speak perjured beast« which I felt pass in a thrill right through
Doña Rita like an electric shock leaving her as motionless as before
Till he shook the door handle which he did immediately afterwards I wasnt
certain through which door he had spoken The two doors in different walls
were rather near each other It was as I expected He was in the fencingroom
thoroughly aroused his senses on the alert to catch the slightest sound A
situation not to be trifled with Leaving the room was for us out of the
question It was quite possible for him to dash round into the hall before we
could get clear of the front door As to making a bolt of it upstairs there was
the same objection and to allow ourselves to be chased all over the empty house
by this maniac would have been mere folly There was no advantage in locking
ourselves up anywhere upstairs where the original doors and locks were much
lighter No true safety was in absolute stillness and silence so that even his
rage should be brought to doubt at last and die expended or choke him before it
died I didnt care which
For me to go out and meet him would have been stupid Now I was certain that
he was armed I had remembered the wall in the fencingroom decorated with
trophies of cold steel in all the civilized and savage forms sheaves of
assegais in the guise of columns and grouped between them stars and suns of
choppers swords knives from Italy from Damascus from Abyssinia from the
ends of the world Ortega had only to make his barbarous choice I suppose he
had got up on the bench and fumbling about amongst them must have brought one
down which falling had produced that rattling noise But in any case to go to
meet him would have been folly because after all I might have been
overpowered even with bare hands and then Doña Rita would have been left
utterly defenceless
»He will speak« came to me the ghostly terrified murmur of her voice
»Take me out of the house before he begins to speak«
»Keep still« I whispered »He will soon get tired of this«
»You dont know him«
»Oh yes I do Been with him two hours«
At this she let go my wrist and covered her face with her hands
passionately When she dropped them she had the look of one morally crushed
»What did he say to you«
»He raved«
»Listen to me It was all true«
»I daresay but what of that«
These ghostly words passed between us hardly louder than thoughts but after
my last answer she ceased and gave me a searching stare then drew in a long
breath The voice on the other side of the door burst out with an impassioned
request for a little pity just a little and went on begging for a few words
for two words for one word one poor little word Then it gave up then
repeated once more »Say you are there Rita Say one word just one word Say
yes Come Just one little yes«
»You see« I said She only lowered her eyelids over the anxious glance she
had turned on me
For a minute we could have had the illusion that he had stolen away
unheard on the thick mats But I dont think that either of us was deceived
The voice returned stammering words without connection pausing and faltering
till suddenly steadied it soared into impassioned entreaty sank to low harsh
tones voluble lofty sometimes and sometimes abject When it paused it left us
looking profoundly at each other
»Its almost comic« I whispered
»Yes One could laugh« she assented with a sort of sinister conviction
Never had I seen her look exactly like that for an instant another an
incredible Rita »Havent I laughed at him innumerable times« she added in a
sombre whisper
He was muttering to himself out there and unexpectedly shouted »What« as
though he had fancied he had heard something He waited a while before he
started up again with a loud »Speak up Queen of the goats with your goat
tricks « All was still for a time then came a most awful bang on the door
He must have stepped back a pace to hurl himself bodily against the panels The
whole house seemed to shake He repeated that performance once more and then
varied it by a prolonged drumming with his fists It was comic But I felt
myself struggling mentally with an invading gloom as though I were no longer
sure of myself
»Take me out« whispered Doña Rita feverishly »take me out of this house
before it is too late«
»You will have to stand it« I answered
»So be it but then you must go away yourself Go now before it is too
late«
I didnt condescend to answer this The drumming on the panels stopped and
the absurd thunder of it died out in the house I dont know why precisely then
I had the acute vision of the red mouth of José Ortega wriggling with rage
between his funny whiskers He began afresh but in a tired tone
»Do you expect a fellow to forget your tricks you wicked little devil
Havent you ever seen me dodging about to get a sight of you amongst those
pretty gentlemen on horseback like a princess with pure cheeks like a carved
saint I wonder I didnt throw stones at you I wonder I didnt run after you
shouting the tale curse my timidity But I daresay they knew as much as I did
More All the new tricks if that were possible«
While he was making this uproar Doña Rita put her fingers in her ears and
then suddenly changed her mind and clapped her hands over my ears Instinctively
I disengaged my head but she persisted We had a short tussle without moving
from the spot and suddenly I had my head free and there was complete silence
He had screamed himself out of breath but Doña Rita muttering »Too late too
late« got her hands away from my grip and slipping altogether out of her fur
coat seized some garment lying on a chair near by I think it was her skirt
with the intention of dressing herself I imagine and rushing out of the house
Determined to prevent this but indeed without thinking very much what I was
doing I got hold of her arm That struggle was silent too but I used the
least force possible and she managed to give me an unexpected push Stepping
back to save myself from falling I overturned the little table bearing the
sixbranched candlestick It hit the floor rebounded with a dull ring on the
carpet and by the time it came to a rest every single candle was out He on the
other side of the door naturally heard the noise and greeted it with a
triumphant screech »Aha Ive managed to wake you up« the very savagery of
which had a laughable effect I felt the weight of Doña Rita grow on my arm and
thought it best to let her sink on the floor wishing to be free in my movements
and really afraid that now he had actually heard a noise he would infallibly
burst the door But he didnt even thump it He seemed to have exhausted himself
in that scream There was no other light in the room but the darkened glow of
the embers and I could hardly make out amongst the shadows of furniture Doña
Rita sunk on her knees in a penitential and despairing attitude Before this
collapse I who had been wrestling desperately with her a moment before felt
that I dare not touch her This emotion too I could not understand this
abandonment of herself this consciencestricken humility A humbly imploring
request to open the door came from the other side Ortega kept on repeating
»Open the door open the door« in such an amazing variety of intonations
imperative whining persuasive insinuating and even unexpectedly jocose that
I really stood there smiling to myself yet with a gloomy and uneasy heart Then
he remarked parenthetically as it were »Oh you know how to torment a man you
brownskinned lean grinning dishevelled imp you And mark« he expounded
further in a curiously doctoral tone »you are in all your limbs hateful your
eyes are hateful and your mouth is hateful and your hair is hateful and your
body is cold and vicious like a snake and altogether you are perdition«
This statement was astonishingly deliberate He drew a moaning breath after
it and uttered in a heartrending tone »You know Rita that I cannot live
without you I havent lived I am not living now This isnt life Come Rita
you cant take a boys soul away and then let him grow up and go about the
world poor devil while you go amongst the rich from one pair of arms to
another showing all your best tricks But I will forgive you if you only open
the door« he ended in an inflated tone »You remember how you swore time after
time to be my wife You are more fit to be Satans wife but I dont mind You
shall be my wife«
A sound near the floor made me bend down hastily with a stern »Dont
laugh« for in his grotesque almost burlesque discourses there seemed to me to
be truth passion and horror enough to move a mountain
Suddenly suspicion seized him out there With perfectly farcical
unexpectedness he yelled shrilly »Oh you deceitful wretch You wont escape
me I will have you «
And in a manner of speaking he vanished Of course I couldnt see him but
somehow that was the impression I had hardly time to receive it when crash
he was already at the other door I suppose he thought that his prey was
escaping him His swiftness was amazing almost inconceivable more like the
effect of a trick or of a mechanism The thump on the door was awful as if he
had not been able to stop himself in time The shock seemed enough to stun an
elephant It was really funny And after the crash there was a moment of silence
as if he were recovering himself The next thing was a low grunt and at once he
picked up the thread of his fixed idea
»You will have to be my wife I have no shame You swore you would be and so
you will have to be« Stifled low sounds made me bend down again to the kneeling
form white in the flush of the dark red glow »For goodness sake dont« I
whispered down She was struggling with an appalling fit of merriment repeating
to herself »Yes every day for two months Sixty times at least sixty times
at least« Her voice was rising high She was struggling against laughter but
when I tried to put my hand over her lips I felt her face wet with tears She
turned it this way and that eluding my hand with repressed low little moans I
lost my caution and said »Be quiet« so sharply as to startle myself and her
too into expectant stillness
Ortegas voice in the hall asked distinctly »Eh Whats this« and then he
kept still on his side listening but he must have thought that his ears had
deceived him He was getting tired too He was keeping quiet out there
resting Presently he sighed deeply then in a harsh melancholy tone he started
again
»My love my soul my life do speak to me What am I that you should take
so much trouble to pretend that you arent there Do speak to me« he repeated
tremulously following this mechanical appeal with a string of extravagantly
endearing names some of them quite childish which all of a sudden stopped
dead and then after a pause there came a distinct unutterably weary »What
shall I do now« as though he were speaking to himself
I shuddered to hear rising from the floor by my side a vibrating
scornful »Do Why slink off home looking over your shoulder as you used to
years ago when I had done with you all but the laughter«
»Rita« I murmured appalled He must have been struck dumb for a moment
Then goodness only knows why in his dismay or rage he was moved to speak in
French with a most ridiculous accent
»So you have found your tongue at last Catin You were that from the
cradle Dont you remember how «
Doña Rita sprang to her feet at my side with a loud cry »No George no«
which bewildered me completely The suddenness the loudness of it made the
ensuing silence on both sides of the door perfectly awful It seemed to me that
if I didnt resist with all my might something in me would die on the instant
In the straight falling folds of the nightdress she looked cold like a block of
marble while I too was turned into stone by the terrific clamour in the hall
»Therese Therese« yelled Ortega »She has got a man in there« He ran to
the foot of the stairs and screamed again »Therese Therese There is a man
with her A man Come down you miserable starved peasant come down and see«
I dont know where Therese was but I am sure that this voice reached her
terrible as if clamouring to heaven and with a shrill overnote which made me
certain that if she was in bed the only thing she would think of doing would be
to put her head under the bedclothes With a final yell »Come down and see«
he flew back at the door of the room and started shaking it violently
It was a double door very tall and there must have been a lot of things
loose about its fittings bolts latches and all those brass applications with
broken screws because it rattled it clattered it jingled and produced also
the sound as of thunder rolling in the big empty hall It was deafening
distressing and vaguely alarming as if it could bring the house down At the
same time the futility of it had it cannot be denied a comic effect The very
magnitude of the racket he raised was funny But he couldnt keep up that
violent exertion continuously and when he stopped to rest we could hear him
shouting to himself in vengeful tones He saw it all He had been decoyed there
Rattle rattle rattle He had been decoyed into that town he screamed
getting more and more excited by the noise he made himself in order to be
exposed to this Rattle rattle By this shameless »Catin Catin Catin«
He started at the door again with superhuman vigour
Behind me I heard Doña Rita laughing softly statuesque turned all dark in
the fading glow I called out to her quite openly »Do keep your selfcontrol«
And she called back to me in a clear voice »Oh my dear will you ever consent
to speak to me after all this But dont ask for the impossible He was born to
be laughed at«
»Yes« I cried »But dont let yourself go«
I dont know whether Ortega heard us He was exerting then his utmost
strength of lung against the infamous plot to expose him to the derision of the
fiendish associates of that obscene woman Then he began another interlude
upon the door so sustained and strong that I had the thought that this was
growing absurdly impossible that either the plaster would begin to fall off the
ceiling or he would drop dead next moment out there
He stopped uttered a few curses at the door and seemed calmer from sheer
exhaustion
»This story will be all over the world« we heard him begin »Deceived
decoyed inveigled in order to be made a laughingstock before the most debased
of all mankind that woman and her associates« This was really a meditation
And then he screamed »I will kill you all« Once more he started worrying the
door but it was a startlingly feeble effort which he abandoned almost at once
He must have been at the end of his strength Doña Rita from the middle of the
room asked me recklessly loud »Tell me Wasnt he born to be laughed at« I
didnt answer her I was so near the door that I thought I ought to hear him
panting there He was terrifying but he was not serious He was at the end of
his strength of his breath of every kind of endurance but I did not know it
He was done up finished but perhaps he did not know it himself How still he
was Just as I began to wonder at it I heard him distinctly give a slap to his
forehead »I see it all« he cried »That miserable canting peasantwoman
upstairs has arranged it all No doubt she consulted her priests I must regain
my selfrespect Let her die first« I heard him make a dash for the foot of the
stairs I was appalled yet to think of Therese being hoisted with her own
petard was like a turn of affairs in a farce A very ferocious farce
Instinctively I unlocked the door Doña Ritas contralto laugh rang out loud
bitter and contemptuous and I heard Ortegas distracted screaming as if under
torture »It hurts It hurts It hurts« I hesitated just an instant half a
second no more but before I could open the door wide there was in the hall a
short groan and the sound of a heavy fall
The sight of Ortega lying on his back at the foot of the stairs arrested me
in the doorway One of his legs was drawn up the other extended fully his foot
very near the pedestal of the silver statuette holding the feeble and tenacious
gleam which made the shadows so heavy in that hall One of his arms lay across
his breast The other arm was extended full length on the whiteandblack
pavement with the hand palm upwards and the fingers rigidly spread out The
shadow of the lowest step slanted across his face but one whisker and part of
his chin could be made out He appeared strangely flattened He didnt move at
all He was in his shirtsleeves I felt an extreme distaste for that sight The
characteristic sound of a key worrying in the lock stole into my ears I
couldnt locate it but I didnt attend much to that at first I was engaged in
watching Señor Ortega But for his raised leg he clung so flat to the floor and
had taken on himself such a distorted shape that he might have been the mere
shadow of Señor Ortega It was rather fascinating to see him so quiet at the end
of all that fury clamour passion and uproar Surely there was never anything
so still in the world as this Ortega I had a bizarre notion that he was not to
be disturbed
A noise like the rattling of chain links a small grind and click exploded
in the stillness of the hall and a voice began to swear in Italian These
surprising sounds were quite welcome they recalled me to myself and I
perceived they came from the front door which seemed pushed a little ajar Was
somebody trying to get in I had no objection I went to the door and said
»Wait a moment its on the chain« The deep voice on the other side said »What
an extraordinary thing« and I assented mentally It was extraordinary The
chain was never put up but Therese was a thorough sort of person and on this
night she had put it up to keep no one out except myself It was the old Italian
and his daughters returning from the ball who were trying to get in
Suddenly I became intensely alive to the whole situation I bounded back
closed the door of Blunts room and the next moment was speaking to the
Italian A little patience My hands trembled but I managed to take down the
chain and as I allowed the door to swing open a little more I put myself in his
way He was burly venerable a little indignant and full of thanks Behind him
his two girls in shortskirted costumes white stockings and low shoes their
heads powdered and earrings sparkling in their ears huddled together behind
their father wrapped up in their light mantles One had kept her little black
mask on her face the other held hers in her hand
The Italian was surprised at my blocking the way and remarked pleasantly
»Its cold outside Signor« I said »Yes« and added in a hurried whisper
»There is a dead man in the hall« He didnt say a single word but put me aside
a little projected his body in for one searching glance »Your daughters« I
murmured He said kindly »Va bene va bene« And then to them »Come in
girls«
There is nothing like dealing with a man who has had a long past of
outoftheway experiences The skill with which he rounded up and drove the
girls across the hall paternal and irresistible venerable and reassuring was
a sight to see They had no time for more than one scared look over the
shoulder He hustled them in and locked them up safely in their part of the
house then crossed the hall with a quick practical stride When near Señor
Ortega he trod short just in time and said »In truth blood« then selecting
the place knelt down by the body in his tall hat and respectable overcoat his
white beard giving him immense authority somehow »But this man is not dead«
he exclaimed looking up at me With profound sagacity inherent as it were in
his great beard he never took the trouble to put any questions to me and seemed
certain that I had nothing to do with the ghastly sight »He managed to give
himself an enormous gash in his side« was his calm remark »And what a weapon«
he exclaimed getting it out from under the body It was an Abyssinian or Nubian
production of a bizarre shape the clumsiest thing imaginable partaking of a
sickle and a chopper with a sharp edge and a pointed end A mere cruellooking
curio of inconceivable clumsiness to European eyes
The old man let it drop with amused disdain »You had better take hold of
his legs« he decided without appeal I certainly had no inclination to argue
When we lifted him up the head of Señor Ortega fell back desolately making an
awful defenceless display of his large white throat
We found the lamp burning in the studio and the bed made up on the couch on
which we deposited our burden My venerable friend jerked the upper sheet away
at once and started tearing it into strips
»You may leave him to me« said that efficient sage »but the doctor is your
affair If you dont want this business to make a noise you will have to find a
discreet man«
He was most benevolently interested in all the proceedings He remarked with
a patriarchal smile as he tore the sheet noisily »You had better not lose any
time« I didnt lose any time I crammed into the next hour an astonishing
amount of bodily activity Without more words I flew out bareheaded into the
last night of Carnival Luckily I was certain of the right sort of doctor He
was an irongrey man of forty and of a stout habit of body but who was able to
put on a spurt In the cold dark and deserted bystreets he ran with earnest
and ponderous footsteps which echoed loudly in the cold night air while I
skimmed along the ground a pace or two in front of him It was only on arriving
at the house that I perceived that I had left the front door wide open All the
town every evil in the world could have entered the blackandwhite hall But I
had no time to meditate upon my imprudence The doctor and I worked in silence
for nearly an hour and it was only then while he was washing his hands in the
fencingroom that he asked
»What was he up to that imbecile«
»Oh he was examining this curiosity« I said
»Oh yes and it accidentally went off« said the doctor looking
contemptuously at the Nubian knife I had thrown on the table Then while wiping
his hands »I would bet there is a woman somewhere under this but that of
course does not affect the nature of the wound I hope this bloodletting will
do him good«
»Nothing will do him any good« I said
»Curious house this« went on the doctor »It belongs to a curious sort of
woman too I happened to see her once or twice I shouldnt wonder if she were
to raise considerable trouble in the track of her pretty feet as she goes along
I believe you know her well«
»Yes«
»Curious people in the house too There was a Carlist officer here a lean
tall dark man who couldnt sleep He consulted me once Do you know what
became of him«
»No«
The doctor had finished wiping his hands and flung the towel far away
»Considerable nervous overstrain Seemed to have a restless brain Not a
good thing that For the rest a perfect gentleman And this Spaniard here do
you know him«
»Enough not to care what happens to him« I said »except for the trouble he
might cause to the Carlist sympathizers here should the police get hold of this
affair«
»Well then he must take his chance in the seclusion of that conservatory
sort of place where you have put him Ill try to find somebody we can trust to
look after him Meantime I will leave the case to you«
VIII
Directly I had shut the door after the doctor I started shouting for Therese
»Come down at once you wretched hypocrite« I yelled at the foot of the stairs
in a sort of frenzy as though I had been a second Ortega Not even an echo
answered me but all of a sudden a small flame flickered descending from the
upper darkness and Therese appeared on the first floor landing carrying a
lighted candle in front of a livid hard face closed against remorse
compassion or mercy by the meanness of her righteousness and of her rapacious
instincts She was fully dressed in that abominable brown stuff with motionless
folds and as I watched her coming down step by step she might have been made of
wood I stepped back and pointed my finger at the darkness of the passage
leading to the studio She passed within a foot of me her pale eyes staring
straight ahead her face still with disappointment and fury Yet it is only my
surmise She might have been made thus inhuman by the force of an invisible
purpose I waited a moment then stealthily with extreme caution I opened the
door of the socalled Captain Blunts room
The glow of embers was all but out It was cold and dark in there but
before I closed the door behind me the dim light from the hall showed me Doña
Rita standing on the very same spot where I had left her statuesque in her
nightdress Even after I shut the door she loomed up enormous indistinctly
rigid and inanimate I picked up the candelabra groped for a candle all over
the carpet found one and lighted it All that time Doña Rita didnt stir When
I turned towards her she seemed to be slowly awakening from a trance She was
deathly pale and by contrast the melted sapphireblue of her eyes looked black
as coal They moved a little in my direction incurious recognizing me slowly
But when they had recognized me completely she raised her hands and hid her face
in them A whole minute or more passed Then I said in a low tone »Look at me«
and she let them fall slowly as if accepting the inevitable
»Shall I make up the fire« I waited »Do you hear me« She made no
sound and with the tip of my finger I touched her bare shoulder But for its
elasticity it might have been frozen At once I looked round for the fur coat
it seemed to me that there was not a moment to lose if she was to be saved as
though we had been lost on an Arctic plain I had to put her arms into the
sleeves myself one after another They were cold lifeless but flexible Then
I moved in front of her and buttoned the thing close round her throat To do
that I had actually to raise her chin with my finger and it sank slowly down
again I buttoned all the other buttons right down to the ground It was a very
long and splendid fur Before rising from my kneeling position I felt her feet
Mere ice The intimacy of this sort of attendance helped the growth of my
authority »Lie down« I murmured »I shall pile on you every blanket I can find
here« but she only shook her head
Not even in the days when she ran shrill as a cicada and thin as a match
through the chill mists of her native mountains could she ever have felt so
cold so wretched and so desolate Her very soul her grave indignant and
fantastic soul seemed to drowse like an exhausted traveller surrendering
himself to the sleep of death But when I asked her again to lie down she
managed to answer me »Not in this room« The dumb spell was broken She turned
her head from side to side but oh how cold she was It seemed to come out of
her numbing me too and the very diamonds on the arrow of gold sparkled like
hoar frost in the light of the one candle
»Not in this room not here« she protested with that peculiar suavity of
tone which made her voice unforgettable irresistible no matter what she said
»Not after all this I couldnt close my eyes in this place Its full of
corruption and ugliness all round in me too everywhere except in your heart
which has nothing to do where I breathe And here you may leave me But wherever
you go remember that I am not evil I am not evil«
I said »I dont intend to leave you here There is my room upstairs You
have been in it before«
»Oh you have heard of that« she whispered The beginning of a wan smile
vanished from her lips
»I also think you cant stay in this room and surely you neednt hesitate
«
»No It doesnt matter now He has killed me Rita is dead«
While we exchanged these words I had retrieved the quilted blue slippers
and had put them on her feet She was very tractable Then taking her by the arm
I led her towards the door
»He has killed me« she repeated in a sigh »The little joy that was in me«
»He has tried to kill himself out there in the hall« I said She put back
like a frightened child but she couldnt be dragged on as a child can be
I assured her that the man was no longer there but she only repeated »I
cant get through the hall I cant walk I cant «
»Well« I said flinging the door open and seizing her suddenly in my arms
»if you cant walk then you shall be carried« and I lifted her from the ground
so abruptly that she could not help catching me round the neck as any child
almost will do instinctively when you pick it up
I ought really to have put those blue slippers in my pocket One dropped off
at the bottom of the stairs as I was stepping over an unpleasantlooking mess on
the marble pavement and the other was lost a little way up the flight when for
some reason perhaps from a sense of insecurity she began to struggle Though
I had an odd sense of being engaged in a sort of nursery adventure she was no
child to carry I could just do it But not if she chose to struggle I set her
down hastily and only supported her round the waist for the rest of the way My
room of course was perfectly dark but I led her straight to the sofa at once
and let her fall on it Then as if I had in sober truth rescued her from an
Alpine height or an Arctic floe I busied myself with nothing but lighting the
gas and starting the fire I didnt even pause to lock my door All the time I
was aware of her presence behind me nay of something deeper and more my own
of her existence itself of a small blue flame blue like her eyes flickering
and clear within her frozen body When I turned to her she was sitting very
stiff and upright with her feet posed hieratically on the carpet and her head
emerging out of the ample fur collar as a gemlike flower above the rim of a
dark vase I tore the blankets and the pillows off my bed and piled them up in
readiness in a great heap on the floor near the couch My reason for this was
that the room was large too large for the fireplace and the couch was nearest
to the fire She gave no sign but one of her wistful attempts at a smile In a
most businesslike way I took the arrow out of her hair and laid it on the
centre table The tawny mass fell loose at once about her shoulders and made her
look even more desolate than before But there was an invincible need of gaiety
in her heart She said funnily looking at the arrow sparkling in the gas light
»Ah That poor philistinish ornament«
An echo of our early days not more innocent but so much more youthful was
in her tone and we both as if touched with poignant regret looked at each
other with enlightened eyes
»Yes« I said »how far away all this is And you wouldnt leave even that
object behind when you came last in here Perhaps it is for that reason it
haunted me mostly at night I dreamed of you sometimes as a huntress nymph
gleaming white through the foliage and throwing this arrow like a dart straight
at my heart But it never reached it It always fell at my feet as I woke up
The huntress never meant to strike down that particular quarry«
»The huntress was wild but she was not evil And she was no nymph but only
a goatherd girl Dream of her no more my dear«
I had the strength of mind to make a sign of assent and busied myself
arranging a couple of pillows at one end of the sofa »Upon my soul goatherd
you are not responsible« I said »You are not Lay down that uneasy head« I
continued forcing a halfplayful note into my immense sadness »that has even
dreamed of a crown but not for itself«
She lay down quietly I covered her up looked once into her eyes and felt
the restlessness of fatigue overpower me so that I wanted to stagger out walk
straight before me stagger on and on till I dropped In the end I lost myself
in thought I woke with a start to her voice saying positively
»No Not even in this room I cant close my eyes Impossible I have a
horror of myself That voice in my ears All true All true«
She was sitting up two masses of tawny hair fell on each side of her tense
face I threw away the pillows from which she had risen and sat down behind her
on the couch »Perhaps like this« I suggested drawing her head gently on my
breast She didnt resist she didnt even sigh she didnt look at me or
attempt to settle herself in any way It was I who settled her after taking up a
position which I thought I should be able to keep for hours for ages After a
time I grew composed enough to become aware of the ticking of the clock even to
take pleasure in it The beat recorded the moments of her rest while I sat
keeping as still as if my life depended upon it with my eyes fixed idly on the
arrow of gold gleaming and glittering dimly on the table under the lowered
gasjet And presently my breathing fell into the quiet rhythm of the sleep
which descended on her at last My thought was that now nothing mattered in the
world because I had the world safe resting in my arms or was it in my heart
Suddenly my heart seemed torn in two within my breast and half of my breath
knocked out of me It was a tumultuous awakening The day had come Doña Rita
had opened her eyes found herself in my arms and instantly had flung herself
out of them with one sudden effort I saw her already standing in the filtered
sunshine of the closed shutters with all the childlike horror and shame of that
night vibrating afresh in the awakened body of the woman
»Daylight« she whispered in an appalled voice »Dont look at me George I
cant face daylight No not with you Before we set eyes on each other all
that past was like nothing I had crushed it all in my new pride Nothing could
touch the Rita whose hand was kissed by you But now Never in daylight«
I sat there stupid with surprise and grief This was no longer the adventure
of venturesome children in a nurserybook A grown mans bitterness informed
suspicious resembling hatred welled out of my heart
»All this means that you are going to desert me again« I said with
contempt »All right I wont throw stones after you Are you going then«
She lowered her head slowly with a backward gesture of her arm as if to keep
me off for I had sprung to my feet all at once as if mad
»Then go quickly« I said »You are afraid of living flesh and blood What
are you running after Honesty as you say or some distinguished carcass to
feed your vanity on I know how cold you can be and yet live What have I done
to you You go to sleep in my arms wake up and go away Is it to impress me
Charlatanism of character my dear«
She stepped forward on her bare feet as firm on that floor which seemed to
heave up and down before my eyes as she had ever been goatherd child leaping
on the rocks of her native hills which she was never to see again I snatched
the arrow of gold from the table and threw it after her
»Dont forget this thing« I cried »you would never forgive yourself for
leaving it behind«
It struck the back of the fur coat and fell on the floor behind her She
never looked round She walked to the door opened it without haste and on the
landing in the diffused light from the groundglass skylight there appeared
rigid like an implacable and obscure fate the awful Therese waiting for her
sister The heavy ends of a big black shawl thrown over her head hung massively
in biblical folds With a faint cry of dismay Doña Rita stopped just within my
room
The two women faced each other for a few moments silently Therese spoke
first There was no austerity in her tone Her voice was as usual pertinacious
unfeeling with a slight plaint in it terrible in its unchanged purpose
»I have been standing here before this door all night« she said »I dont
know how I lived through it I thought I would die a hundred times for shame So
thats how you are spending your time You are worse than shameless But God may
still forgive you You have a soul You are my sister I will never abandon you
till you die«
»What is it« Doña Rita was heard wistfully »my soul or this house that you
wont abandon«
»Come out and bow your head in humiliation I am your sister and I shall
help you to pray to God and all the Saints Come away from that poor young
gentleman who like all the others can have nothing but contempt and disgust for
you in his heart Come and hide your head where no one will reproach you but
I your sister Come out and beat your breast come poor Sinner and let me
kiss you for you are my sister«
While Therese was speaking Doña Rita stepped back a pace and as the other
moved forward still extending the hand of sisterly love she slammed the door in
Thereses face »You abominable girl« she cried fiercely Then she turned about
and walked towards me who had not moved I felt hardly alive but for the cruel
pain that possessed my whole being On the way she stooped to pick up the arrow
of gold and then moved on quicker holding it out to me in her open palm
»You thought I wouldnt give it to you Amigo I wanted nothing so much as
to give it to you And now perhaps you will take it«
»Not without the woman« I said sombrely
»Take it« she said »I havent the courage to deliver myself up to Therese
No Not even for your sake Dont you think I have been miserable enough yet«
I snatched the arrow out of her hand then and ridiculously pressed it to my
breast but as I opened my lips she who knew what was struggling for utterance
in my heart cried in a ringing tone
»Speak no words of love George Not yet Not in this house of illluck and
falsehood Not within a hundred miles of this house where they came clinging to
me all profaned from the mouth of that man Havent you heard them the
horrible things And what can words have to do between you and me«
Her hands were stretched out imploringly I said childishly disconcerted
»But Rita how can I help using words of love to you They come of
themselves on my lips«
»They come Ah But I shall seal your lips with the thing itself« she said
»Like this «
Second Note
The narrative of our man goes on for some six months more from this the last
night of the Carnival season up to and beyond the season of roses The tone of
it is much less of exultation than might have been expected Love as is well
known having nothing to do with reason being insensible to forebodings and even
blind to evidence the surrender of those two beings to a precarious bliss has
nothing very astonishing in itself and its portrayal as he attempts it lacks
dramatic interest The sentimental interest could only have a fascination for
readers themselves actually in love The response of a reader depends on the
mood of the moment so much so that a book may seem extremely interesting when
read late at night but might appear merely a lot of vapid verbiage in the
morning My conviction is that the mood in which the continuation of his story
would appear sympathetic is very rare This consideration has induced me to
suppress it all but the actual facts which round up the previous events and
satisfy such curiosity as might have been aroused by the foregoing narrative
It is to be remarked that this period is characterized more by a deep and
joyous tenderness than by sheer passion All fierceness of spirit seems to have
burnt itself out in their preliminary hesitations and struggles against each
other and themselves Whether love in its entirety has speaking generally the
same elementary meaning for women as for men is very doubtful Civilization has
been at work there But the fact is that those two display in every phase of
discovery and response an exact accord Both show themselves amazingly
ingenuous in the practice of sentiment I believe that those who know women
wont be surprised to hear me say that she was as new to love as he was During
their retreat in the region of the Maritime Alps in a small house built of dry
stones and embowered with roses they appear all through to be less like
released lovers than as companions who had found out each others fitness in a
specially intense way Upon the whole I think that there must be some truth in
his insistence of there having always been something childlike in their
relation In the unreserved and instant sharing of all thoughts all
impressions all sensations we see the naïveness of a childrens foolhardy
adventure This unreserve expressed for him the whole truth of the situation
With her it may have been different It might have been assumed yet nobody is
altogether a comedian and even comedians themselves have got to believe in the
part they play Of the two she appears much the more assured and confident But
if in this she was a comedienne then it was but a great achievement of her
ineradicable honesty Having once renounced her honourable scruples she took
good care that he should taste no flavour of misgivings in the cup Being older
it was she who imparted its character to the situation As to the man if he had
any superiority of his own it was simply the superiority of him who loves with
the greater selfsurrender
This is what appears from the pages I have discreetly suppressed partly
out of regard for the pages themselves In every even terrestrial mystery
there is as it were a sacred core A sustained commentary on love is not fit for
every eye A universal experience is exactly the sort of thing which is most
difficult to appraise justly in a particular instance
How this particular instance affected Rose who was the only companion of
the two hermits in their roseembowered hut of stones I regret not to be able
to report but I will venture to say that for reasons on which I need not
enlarge the girl could not have been very reassured by what she saw It seems
to me that her devotion could never be appeased for the conviction must have
been growing on her that no matter what happened Madame could never have any
friends It may be that Doña Rita had given her a glimpse of the unavoidable
end and that the girls tarnished eyes masked a certain amount of apprehensive
helpless desolation
What meantime was becoming of the fortune of Henry Allègre is another
curious question We have been told that it was too big to be tied up in a sack
and thrown into the sea That part of it represented by the fabulous collections
was still being protected by the police But for the rest it may be assumed
that its power and significance were lost to an interested world for something
like six months What is certain is that the late Henry Allègres man of affairs
found himself comparatively idle The holiday must have done much good to his
harassed brain He had received a note from Doña Rita saying that she had gone
into retreat and that she did not mean to send him her address not being in the
humour to be worried with letters on any subject whatever »Its enough for you«
she wrote »to know that I am alive« Later at irregular intervals he
received scraps of paper bearing the stamps of various post offices and
containing the simple statement »I am still alive« signed with an enormous
flourished exuberant R I imagine Rose had to travel some distances by rail to
post those messages A thick veil of secrecy had been lowered between the world
and the lovers yet even this veil turned out not altogether impenetrable
He it would be convenient to call him Monsieur George to the end shared
with Doña Rita her perfect detachment from all mundane affairs but he had to
make two short visits to Marseilles The first was prompted by his loyal
affection for Dominic He wanted to discover what had happened or was happening
to Dominic and to find out whether he could do something for that man But
Dominic was not the sort of person for whom one can do much Monsieur George did
not even see him It looked uncommonly as if Dominics heart were broken
Monsieur George remained concealed for twentyfour hours in the very house in
which Madame Léonore had her café He spent most of that time in conversing with
Madame Léonore about Dominic She was distressed but her mind was made up That
brighteyed nonchalant and passionate woman was making arrangements to
dispose of her café before departing to join Dominic She would not say where
Having ascertained that his assistance was not required Monsieur George in his
own words managed to sneak out of the town without being seen by a single soul
that mattered
The second occasion was very prosaic and shockingly incongruous with the
supermundane colouring of these days He had neither the fortune of Henry
Allègre nor a man of affairs of his own But some rent had to be paid to
somebody for the stone hut and Rose could not go marketing in the tiny hamlet at
the foot of the hill without a little money There came a time when Monsieur
George had to descend from the heights of his love in order in his own words
to get a supply of cash As he had disappeared very suddenly and completely for
a time from the eyes of mankind it was necessary that he should show himself and
sign some papers That business was transacted in the office of the banker
mentioned in the story Monsieur George wished to avoid seeing the man himself
but in this he did not succeed The interview was short The banker naturally
asked no questions made no allusions to persons and events and didnt even
mention the great Legitimist Principle which presented to him now no interest
whatever But for the moment all the world was talking of the Carlist
enterprise It had collapsed utterly leaving behind as usual a large crop of
recriminations charges of incompetency and treachery and a certain amount of
scandalous gossip The banker his wifes salon had been very Carlist indeed
declared that he had never believed in the success of the cause »You are well
out of it« he remarked with a chilly smile to Monsieur George The latter
merely observed that he had been very little in it as a matter of fact and that
he was quite indifferent to the whole affair
»You left a few of your feathers in it nevertheless« the banker concluded
with a wooden face and with the curtness of a man who knows
Monsieur George ought to have taken the very next train out of the town but
he yielded to the temptation to discover what had happened to the house in the
street of the Consuls after he and Doña Rita had stolen out of it like two
scared yet jubilant children All he discovered was a strange fat woman a sort
of virago who had apparently been put in as a caretaker by the man of
affairs She made some difficulties to admit that she had been in charge for the
last four months ever since the person who was there before had eloped with
some Spaniard who had been lying in the house ill with fever for more than six
weeks No she never saw the person Neither had she seen the Spaniard She had
only heard the talk of the street Of course she didnt know where these people
had gone She manifested some impatience to get rid of Monsieur George and even
attempted to push him towards the door It was he says a very funny
experience He noticed the feeble flame of the gasjet in the hall still waiting
for extinction in the general collapse of the world
Then he decided to have a bit of dinner at the Restaurant de la Gare where
he felt pretty certain he would not meet any of his friends He could not have
asked Madame Léonore for hospitality because Madame Léonore had gone away
already His acquaintances were not the sort of people likely to happen casually
into a restaurant of that kind and moreover he took the precaution to seat
himself at a small table so as to face the wall Yet before long he felt a hand
laid gently on his shoulder and looking up saw one of his acquaintances a
member of the Royalist club a young man of a very cheerful disposition but
whose face looked down at him with a grave and anxious expression
Monsieur George was far from delighted His surprise was extreme when in the
course of the first phrases exchanged with him he learned that this acquaintance
had come to the station with the hope of finding him there
»You havent been seen for some time« he said »You were perhaps somewhere
where the news from the world couldnt reach you There have been many changes
amongst our friends and amongst people one used to hear of so much There is
Madame de Lastaola for instance who seems to have vanished from the world which
was so much interested in her You have no idea where she may be now«
Monsieur George remarked grumpily that he couldnt say
The other tried to appear at ease Tongues were wagging about it in Paris
There was a sort of international financier a fellow with an Italian name a
shady personality who had been looking for her all over Europe and talked in
clubs astonishing how such fellows get into the best clubs oh Azzolati was
his name But perhaps what a fellow like that said did not matter The funniest
thing was that there was no man of any position in the world who had disappeared
at the same time A friend in Paris wrote to him that a certain wellknown
journalist had rushed South to investigate the mystery but had returned no wiser
than he went
Monsieur George remarked more unamiably than before that he really could not
help all that
»No« said the other with extreme gentleness »only of all the people more
or less connected with the Carlist affair you are the only one that had also
disappeared before the final collapse«
»What« cried Monsieur George
»Just so« said the other meaningly »You know that all my people like you
very much though they hold various opinions as to your discretion Only the
other day Jane you know my married sister and I were talking about you She
was extremely distressed I assured her that you must be very far away or very
deeply buried somewhere not to have given a sign of life under this
provocation«
Naturally Monsieur George wanted to know what it was all about and the
other appeared greatly relieved
»I was sure you couldnt have heard I dont want to be indiscreet I dont
want to ask you where you were It came to my ears that you had been seen at the
bank today and I made a special effort to lay hold of you before you vanished
again for after all we have been always good friends and all our lot here
liked you very much Listen You know a certain Captain Blunt dont you«
Monsieur George owned to knowing Captain Blunt but only very slightly His
friend then informed him that this Captain Blunt was apparently well acquainted
with Madame de Lastaola or at any rate pretended to be He was an honourable
man a member of a good club he was very Parisian in a way and all this he
continued made all the worse that of which he was under the painful necessity
of warning Monsieur George This Blunt on three distinct occasions when the name
of Madame de Lastaola came up in conversation in a mixed company of men had
expressed his regret that she should have become the prey of a young adventurer
who was exploiting her shamelessly He talked like a man certain of his facts
and as he mentioned names
»In fact« the young man burst out excitedly »it is your name that he
mentions And in order to fix the exact personality he always takes care to add
that you are that young fellow who was known as Monsieur George all over the
South amongst the initiated Carlists«
How Blunt had got enough information to base that atrocious calumny upon
Monsieur George couldnt imagine But there it was He kept silent in his
indignation till his friend murmured »I expect you will want him to know that
you are here«
»Yes« said Monsieur George »and I hope you will consent to act for me
altogether First of all pray let him know by wire that I am waiting for him
This will be enough to fetch him down here I can assure you You may ask him
also to bring two friends with him I dont intend this to be an affair for
Parisian journalists to write paragraphs about«
»Yes That sort of thing must be stopped at once« the other admitted He
assented to Monsieur Georges request that the meeting should be arranged for at
his elder brothers country place where the family stayed very seldom There was
a most convenient walled garden there And then Monsieur George caught his train
promising to be back on the fourth day and leaving all further arrangements to
his friend He prided himself on his impenetrability before Doña Rita on the
happiness without a shadow of those four days However Doña Rita must have had
the intuition of there being something in the wind because on the evening of
the very same day on which he left her again on some pretence or other she was
already ensconced in the house in the street of the Consuls with the
trustworthy Rose scouting all over the town to gain information
Of the proceedings in the walled garden there is no need to speak in detail
They were conventionally correct but an earnestness of purpose which could be
felt in the very air lifted the business above the common run of affairs of
honour One bit of byplay unnoticed by the seconds very busy for the moment
with their arrangements must be mentioned Disregarding the severe rules of
conduct in such cases Monsieur George approached his adversary and addressed him
directly
»Captain Blunt« he said »the result of this meeting may go against me In
that case you will recognize publicly that you were wrong For you are wrong and
you know it May I trust your honour«
In answer to that appeal Captain Blunt always correct didnt open his lips
but only made a little bow For the rest he was perfectly ruthless If he was
utterly incapable of being carried away by love there was nothing equivocal
about his jealousy Such psychology is not very rare and really from the point
of view of the combat itself one cannot very well blame him What happened was
this Monsieur George fired on the word and whether luck or skill managed to
hit Captain Blunt in the upper part of the arm which was holding the pistol
That gentlemans arm dropped powerless by his side But he did not drop his
weapon There was nothing equivocal about his determination With the greatest
deliberation he reached with his left hand for his pistol and taking careful aim
shot Monsieur George through the left side of his breast One may imagine the
consternation of the four seconds and the activity of the two surgeons in the
confined drowsy heat of that walled garden It was within an easy drive of the
town and as Monsieur George was being conveyed there at a walking pace a little
brougham coming from the opposite direction pulled up at the side of the road A
thickly veiled womans head looked out of the window took in the state of
affairs at a glance and called out in a firm voice »Follow my carriage« The
brougham turning round took the lead Long before this convoy reached the town
another carriage containing four gentlemen of whom one was leaning back
languidly with his arm in a sling whisked past and vanished ahead in a cloud of
white Provençal dust And this is the last appearance of Captain Blunt in
Monsieur Georges narrative Of course he was only told of it later At the time
he was not in a condition to notice things His interest in his surroundings
remained of a hazy and nightmarish kind for many days together From time to
time he had the impression that he was in a room strangely familiar to him that
he had unsatisfactory visions of Doña Rita to whom he tried to speak as if
nothing had happened but that she always put her hand on his mouth to prevent
him and then spoke to him herself in a very strange voice which sometimes
resembled the voice of Rose The face too sometimes resembled the face of
Rose There were also one or two mens faces which he seemed to know well enough
though he didnt recall their names He could have done so with a slight effort
but it would have been too much trouble Then came a time when the
hallucinations of Doña Rita and the faithful Rose left him altogether Next came
a period perhaps a year or perhaps an hour during which he seemed to dream
all through his past life He felt no apprehension he didnt try to speculate
as to the future He felt that all possible conclusions were out of his power
and therefore he was indifferent to everything He was like that dreams
disinterested spectator who doesnt know what is going to happen next Suddenly
for the first time in his life he had the soulsatisfying consciousness of
floating off into deep slumber
When he woke up after an hour or a day or a month there was dusk in the
room but he recognized it perfectly It was his apartment in Doña Ritas house
those were the familiar surroundings in which he had so often told himself that
he must either die or go mad But now he felt perfectly clearheaded and the
full sensation of being alive came all over him languidly delicious The
greatest beauty of it was that there was no need to move This gave him a sort
of moral satisfaction Then the first thought independent of personal sensations
came into his head He wondered when Therese would come in and begin talking He
saw vaguely a human figure in the room but that was a man He was speaking in a
deadened voice which had yet a preternatural distinctness
»This is the second case I have had in this house and I am sure that
directly or indirectly it was connected with that woman She will go on like
this leaving a track behind her and then some day there will be really a corpse
This young fellow might have been it«
»In this case Doctor« said another voice »one cant blame the woman very
much I assure you she made a very determined fight«
»What do you mean That she didnt want to «
»Yes A very good fight I heard all about it It is easy to blame her but
as she asked me despairingly could she go through life veiled from head to foot
or go out of it altogether into a convent No she isnt guilty She is simply
what she is«
»And whats that«
»Very much of a woman Perhaps a little more at the mercy of contradictory
impulses than other women But thats not her fault I really think she has been
very honest«
The voices sank suddenly to a still lower murmur and presently the shape of
the man went out of the room Monsieur George heard distinctly the door open and
shut Then he spoke for the first time discovering with a particular pleasure
that it was quite easy to speak He was even under the impression that he had
shouted
»Who is here«
From the shadow of the room he recognized at once the characteristic
outlines of the bulky shape Mills advanced to the side of the bed Doña Rita
had telegraphed to him on the day of the duel and the man of books leaving his
retreat had come as fast as boats and trains could carry him South For as he
said later to Monsieur George he had become fully awake to his part of
responsibility And he added »It was not of you alone that I was thinking« But
the very question that Monsieur George put to him was
»How long is it since I saw you last«
»Something like ten months« answered Mills kindly voice
»Ah Is Therese outside the door She stood there all night you know«
»Yes I heard of it She is hundreds of miles away now«
»Well then ask Rita to come in«
»I cant do that my dear boy« said Mills with affectionate gentleness He
hesitated a moment »Doña Rita went away yesterday« he said softly
»Went away Why« asked Monsieur George
»Because I am thankful to say your life is no longer in danger And I have
told you that she is gone because strange as it may seem I believe you can
stand this news better now than later when you get stronger«
It must be believed that Mills was right Monsieur George fell asleep before
he could feel any pang at that intelligence A sort of confused surprise was in
his mind but nothing else and then his eyes closed The awakening was another
matter But that too Mills had foreseen For days he attended the bedside
patiently letting the man in the bed talk to him of Doña Rita but saying little
himself till one day he was asked pointedly whether she had ever talked to him
openly And then he said that she had on more than one occasion »She told me
amongst other things« Mills said »if this is any satisfaction to you to know
that till she met you she knew nothing of love That you were to her in more
senses than one a complete revelation«
»And then she went away Ran away from the revelation« said the man in the
bed bitterly
»Whats the good of being angry« remonstrated Mills gently »You know that
this world is not a world for lovers not even for such lovers as you two who
have nothing to do with the world as it is No a world of lovers would be
impossible It would be a mere ruin of lives which seem to be meant for
something else What this something is I dont know and I am certain« he said
with playful compassion »that she and you will never find out«
A few days later they were again talking of Doña Rita Mills said
»Before she left the house she gave me that arrow she used to wear in her
hair to hand over to you as a keepsake and also to prevent you she said from
dreaming of her This message sounds rather cryptic«
»Oh I understand perfectly« said Monsieur George »Dont give me the thing
now Leave it somewhere where I can find it some day when I am alone But when
you write to her you may tell her that now at last surer than Mr Blunts
bullet the arrow has found its mark There will be no more dreaming Tell her
She will understand«
»I dont even know where she is« murmured Mills
»No but her man of affairs knows Tell me Mills what will become of
her«
»She will be wasted« said Mills sadly »She is a most unfortunate creature
Not even poverty could save her now She cannot go back to her goats Yet who
can tell She may find something in life She may It wont be love She has
sacrificed that chance to the integrity of your life heroically Do you
remember telling her once that you meant to live your life integrally oh you
lawless young pedant Well she is gone but you may be sure that whatever she
finds now in life it will not be peace You understand me Not even in a
convent«
»She was supremely lovable« said the wounded man speaking of her as if she
were lying dead already on his oppressed heart
»And elusive« struck in Mills in a low voice »Some of them are like that
She will never change Amid all the shames and shadows of that life there will
always lie the ray of her perfect honesty I dont know about your honesty but
yours will be the easier lot You will always have your other love you
pigheaded enthusiast of the sea«
»Then let me go to it« cried the enthusiast »Let me go to it«
He went to it as soon as he had strength enough to feel the crushing weight
of his loss or his gain fully and discovered that he could bear it without
flinching After this discovery he was fit to face anything He tells his
correspondent that if he had been more romantic he would never have looked at
any other woman But on the contrary No face worthy of attention escaped him
He looked at them all and each reminded him of Doña Rita either by some
profound resemblance or by the startling force of contrast
The faithful austerity of the sea protected him from the rumours that fly on
the tongues of men He never heard of her Even the echoes of the sale of the
great Allègre collection failed to reach him And that event must have made a
noise enough in the world But he never heard He does not know Then years
later he was deprived even of the arrow It was lost to him in a stormy
catastrophe and he confesses that next day he stood on a rocky windassaulted
shore looking at the seas raging over the very spot of his loss and thought
that it was well It was not a thing that one could leave behind one for strange
hands for the cold eyes of ignorance Like the old King of Thule with the gold
goblet of his mistress he would have had to cast it into the sea before he
died He says he smiled at the romantic notion But what else could he have done
with it