Lewis Carroll
Through the LookingGlass and What Alice Found There
Child of the Pure Unclouded Brow
Child of the pure unclouded brow
And dreaming eyes of wonder
Though time be fleet and I and thou
And half a life asunder
Thy loving smile will surely hail
The lovegift of a fairytale
I have not seen thy sunny face
Nor heard thy silver laughter
No thought of me shall find a place
In thy young lifes hereafter
Enough that now thou wilt not fail
To listen to my fairytale
A tale begun in other days
When summer suns were glowing
A simple chime that served to time
The rhythm of our rowing
Whose echoes live in memory yet
Though envious years would say »forget«
Come hearken then ere voice of dread
With bitter tidings laden
Shall summon to unwelcome bed
A melancholy maiden
We are but older children dear
Who fret to find our bedtime near
Without the frost the blinding snow
The stormwinds moody madness
Within the firelights ruddy glow
And childhoods nest of gladness
The magic words shall hold thee fast
Thou shalt not heed the raving blast
And though the shadow of a sigh
May tremble through the story
For »happy summer days« gone by
And vanishd summer glory
It shall not touch with breath of bale
The pleasance of our fairytale
ChessProblem
Red
White
1 Alice meets R Q 124
2 Alice through Qs 3d by railway 129 to Qs 4th Tweedledum and Tweedlee
138
3 Alice meets W Q with shawl 149
4 Alice to Qs 5th shop river shop 153
5 Alice to Qs 6th Humpty Dumpty 159
6 Alice to Qs 7th forest 178
7 W Kt takes R Kt 180
8 Alice to Qs 8th coronation 191
9 Alice becomes Queen 192
10 Alice castles feast 200
11 Alice takes R Q amp wins 204
1 R Q to Ks 4th 128
2 W Q to Bs 4th after shawl 149
3 W Q to Q Bs 5th becomes sheep 153
4 W Q to Bs 8th leaves egg on shelf 158
5 W Q to Bs 8th flying from R Kt 174
6 R Kt to Ks 2nd ch 179
7 W Kt to K Bs 5th 190
8 R Q to Ks sq examination 193
9 Queens castle 198
10 W Q to Rs 6th soup 200
Preface to the 1896 Edition
As the chessproblem given on the previous page has puzzled some of my
readers it may be well to explain that it is correctly worked out so far as
the moves are concerned The alternation of Red and White is perhaps not so
strictly observed as it might be and the »castling« of the three Queens is
merely a way of saying that they entered the palace but the »check« of the
White King at move 6 the capture of the Red Knight at move 7 and the final
»checkmate« of the Red King will be found by any one who will take the trouble
to set the pieces and play the moves as directed to be strictly in accordance
with the laws of the game
The new words in the poem »Jabberwocky« have given rise to some
differences of opinion as to their pronunciation so it may be well to give
instructions on that point also Pronounce »slithy« as if it were the two words
»sly the« make the »g« hard in »gyre« and »gimble« and pronounce »rath« to
rhyme with »bath«
For this sixtyfirst thousand fresh electrotypes have been taken from the
woodblocks which never having been used for printing from are in as good
condition as when first cut in 1871 and the whole book has been set up afresh
with new type If the artistic qualities of this reissue fall short in any
particular of those possessed by the original issue it will not be for want of
painstaking on the part of author publisher or printer
I take this opportunity of announcing that the Nursery »Alice« hitherto
priced at four shillings net is now to be had on the same terms as the
ordinary shilling picturebooks although I feel sure that it is in every
quality except the text itself in which I am not qualified to pronounce
greatly superior to them Four shillings was a perfectly reasonable price to
charge considering the very heavy initial outlay I had incurred still as the
Public have practically said »We will not give more than a shilling for a
picturebook however artistically gotup« I am content to reckon my outlay on
the book as so much dead loss and rather than let the little ones for whom it
was written go without it I am selling it at a price which is to me much the
same thing as giving it away
Christmas 1896
Chapter I
LookingGlass House
One thing was certain that the white kitten had had nothing to do with it it
was the black kittens fault entirely For the white kitten had been having its
face washed by the old cat for the last quarter of an hour and bearing it
pretty well considering so you see that it couldnt have had any hand in the
mischief
The way Dinah washed her childrens faces was this first she held the poor
thing down by its ear with one paw and then with the other paw she rubbed its
face all over the wrong way beginning at the nose and just now as I said
she was hard at work on the white kitten which was lying quite still and trying
to purr no doubt feeling that it was all meant for its good
But the black kitten had been finished with earlier in the afternoon and
so while Alice was sitting curled up in a corner of the great armchair half
talking to herself and half asleep the kitten had been having a grand game of
romps with the ball of worsted Alice had been trying to wind up and had been
rolling it up and down till it had all come undone again and there it was
spread over the hearthrug all knots and tangles with the kitten running after
its own tail in the middle
»Oh you wicked wicked little thing« cried Alice catching up the kitten
and giving it a little kiss to make it understand that it was in disgrace
»Really Dinah ought to have taught you better manners You ought Dinah you
know you ought« she added looking reproachfully at the old cat and speaking
in as cross a voice as she could manage and then she scrambled back into the
armchair taking the kitten and the worsted with her and began winding up the
ball again But she didnt get on very fast as she was talking all the time
sometimes to the kitten and sometimes to herself Kitty sat very demurely on
her knee pretending to watch the progress of the winding and now and then
putting out one paw and gently touching the ball as if it would be glad to help
if it might
»Do you know what tomorrow is Kitty« Alice began »Youd have guessed if
youd been up in the window with me only Dinah was making you tidy so you
couldnt I was watching the boys getting in sticks for the bonfire and it
wants plenty of sticks Kitty Only it got so cold and it snowed so they had
to leave off Never mind well go and see the bonfire tomorrow« Here Alice
wound two or three turns of the worsted round the kittens neck just to see how
it would look this led to a scramble in which the ball rolled down upon the
floor and yards and yards of it got unwound again
»Do you know I was so angry Kitty« Alice went on as soon as they were
comfortably settled again »when I saw all the mischief you had been doing I
was very nearly opening the window and putting you out into the snow And youd
have deserved it you little mischievous darling What have you got to say for
yourself Now dont interrupt me« she went on holding up one finger »Im
going to tell you all your faults Number one you squeaked twice while Dinah
was washing your face this morning Now you cant deny it Kitty I heard you
Whats that you say« pretending that the kitten was speaking »Her paw went
into your eye Well thats your fault for keeping your eyes open if youd
shut them tight up it wouldnt have happened Now dont make any more excuses
but listen Number two you pulled Snowdrop away by the tail just as I had put
down the saucer of milk before her What you were thirsty were you How do you
know she wasnt thirsty too Now for number three you unwound every bit of the
worsted while I wasnt looking
Thats three faults Kitty and youve not been punished for any of them
yet You know Im saving up all your punishments for Wednesday week Suppose
they had saved up all my punishments« she went on talking more to herself than
the kitten »What would they do at the end of a year I should be sent to
prison I suppose when the day came Or let me see suppose each punishment
was to be going without a dinner then when the miserable day came I should
have to go without fifty dinners at once Well I shouldnt mind that much Id
far rather go without them than eat them
Do you hear the snow against the windowpanes Kitty How nice and soft it
sounds I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields that it kisses them so
gently And then it covers them up snug you know with a white quilt and
perhaps it says Go to sleep darlings till the summer comes again And when
they wake up in the summer Kitty they dress themselves all in green and dance
about whenever the wind blows oh thats very pretty« cried Alice dropping
the ball of worsted to clap her hands »And I do so wish it was true Im sure
the woods look sleepy in the autumn when the leaves are getting brown
Kitty can you play chess Now dont smile my dear Im asking it
seriously Because when we were playing just now you watched just as if you
understood it and when I said Check you purred Well it was a nice check
Kitty and really I might have won if it hadnt been for that nasty Knight
that came wriggling down among my pieces Kitty dear lets pretend « And here
I wish I could tell you half the things Alice used to say beginning with her
favourite phrase »Lets pretend« She had had quite a long argument with her
sister only the day before all because Alice had begun with »Lets pretend
were kings and queens« and her sister who liked being very exact had argued
that they couldnt because there were only two of them and Alice had been
reduced at last to say »Well you can be one of them then and Ill be all the
rest« And once she had really frightened her old nurse by shouting suddenly in
her ear »Nurse Do lets pretend that Im a hungry hyæna and youre a bone«
But this is taking us away from Alices speech to the kitten »Lets pretend
that youre the Red Queen Kitty Do you know I think if you sat up and folded
your arms youd look exactly like her Now do try theres a dear« And Alice
got the Red Queen off the table and set it up before the kitten as a model for
it to imitate however the thing didnt succeed principally Alice said
because the kitten wouldnt fold its arms properly So to punish it she held
it up to the Lookingglass that it might see how sulky it was » and if youre
not good directly« she added »Ill put you through into Lookingglass House
How would you like that
Now if youll only attend Kitty and not talk so much Ill tell you all
my ideas about Lookingglass House First theres the room you can see through
the glass thats just the same as our drawingroom only the things go the
other way I can see all of it when I get upon a chair all but the bit just
behind the fireplace Oh I do so wish I could see that bit I want so much to
know whether theyve a fire in the winter you never can tell you know unless
our fire smokes and then smoke comes up in that room too but that may be only
pretence just to make it look as if they had a fire Well then the books are
something like our books only the words go the wrong way I know that because
Ive held up one of our books to the glass and then they hold up one in the
other room
How would you like to live in Lookingglass House Kitty I wonder if theyd
give you milk in there Perhaps Lookingglass milk isnt good to drink but oh
Kitty now we come to the passage You can just see a little peep of the passage
in Lookingglass House if you leave the door of our drawingroom wide open and
its very like our passage as far as you can see only you know it may be quite
different on beyond Oh Kitty how nice it would be if we could only get
through into Lookingglass House Im sure its got oh such beautiful things
in it Lets pretend theres a way of getting through into it somehow Kitty
Lets pretend the glass has got all soft like gauze so that we can get through
Why its turning into a sort of mist now I declare Itll be easy enough to
get through « She was up on the chimneypiece while she said this though she
hardly knew how she had got there And certainly the glass was beginning to melt
away just like a bright silvery mist
In another moment Alice was through the glass and had jumped lightly down
into the Lookingglass room The very first thing she did was to look whether
there was a fire in the fireplace and she was quite pleased to find that there
was a real one blazing away as brightly as the one she had left behind »So I
shall be as warm here as I was in the old room« thought Alice »warmer in
fact because therell be no one here to scold me away from the fire Oh what
fun itll be when they see me through the glass in here and cant get at me«
Then she began looking about and noticed that what could be seen from the
old room was quite common and uninteresting but that all the rest was as
different as possible For instance the pictures on the wall next the fire
seemed to be all alive and the very clock on the chimneypiece you know you
can only see the back of it in the Lookingglass had got the face of a little
old man and grinned at her
»They dont keep this room so tidy as the other« Alice thought to herself
as she noticed several of the chessmen down in the hearth among the cinders but
in another moment with a little »Oh« of surprise she was down on her hands
and knees watching them The chessmen were walking about two and two
»Here are the Red King and the Red Queen« Alice said in a whisper for
fear of frightening them »and there are the White King and the White Queen
sitting on the edge of the shovel and here are two Castles walking arm in arm
I dont think they can hear me« she went on as she put her head closer down
»and Im nearly sure they cant see me I feel somehow as if I was getting
invisible «
Here something began squeaking on the table behind Alice and made her turn
her head just in time to see one of the White Pawns roll over and begin kicking
she watched it with great curiosity to see what would happen next
»It is the voice of my child« the White Queen cried out as she rushed past
the King so violently that she knocked him over among the cinders »My precious
Lily My imperial kitten« and she began scrambling wildly up the side of the
fender
»Imperial fiddlestick« said the King rubbing his nose which had been hurt
by the fall He had a right to be a little annoyed with the Queen for he was
covered with ashes from head to foot
Alice was very anxious to be of use and as the poor little Lily was nearly
screaming herself into a fit she hastily picked up the Queen and set her on the
table by the side of her noisy little daughter
The Queen gasped and sat down the rapid journey through the air had quite
taken away her breath and for a minute or two she could do nothing but hug the
little Lily in silence As soon as she had recovered her breath a little she
called out to the White King who was sitting sulkily among the ashes »Mind the
volcano«
»What volcano« said the King looking up anxiously into the fire as if he
thought that was the most likely place to find one
»Blew me up« panted the Queen who was still a little out of breath
»Mind you come up the regular way dont get blown up«
Alice watched the White King as he slowly struggled up from bar to bar till
at last she said »Why youll be hours and hours getting to the table at that
rate Id far better help you hadnt I« But the King took no notice of the
question it was quite clear that he could neither hear her nor see her
So Alice picked him up very gently and lifted him across more slowly than
she had lifted the Queen that she mightnt take his breath away but before
she put him on the table she thought she might as well dust him a little he
was so covered with ashes
She said afterwards that she had never seen in all her life such a face as
the King made when he found himself held in the air by an invisible hand and
being dusted he was far too much astonished to cry out but his eyes and his
mouth went on getting larger and larger and rounder and rounder till her hand
shook so with laughter that she nearly let him drop upon the floor
»Oh please dont make such faces my dear« she cried out quite forgetting
that the King couldnt hear her »You make me laugh so that I can hardly hold
you And dont keep your mouth so wide open All the ashes will get into it
there now I think youre tidy enough« she added as she smoothed his hair and
set him upon the table near the Queen
The King immediately fell flat on his back and lay perfectly still and
Alice was a little alarmed at what she had done and went round the room to see
if she could find any water to throw over him However she could find nothing
but a bottle of ink and when she got back with it she found he had recovered
and he and the Queen were talking together in a frightened whisper so low
that Alice could hardly hear what they said
The King was saying »I assure you my dear I turned cold to the very ends
of my whiskers«
To which the Queen replied »You havent got any whiskers«
»The horror of that moment« the King went on »I shall never never
forget«
»You will though« the Queen said »if you dont make a memorandum of it«
Alice looked on with great interest as the King took an enormous
memorandumbook out of his pocket and began writing A sudden thought struck
her and she took hold of the end of the pencil which came some way over his
shoulder and began writing for him
The poor King looked puzzled and unhappy and struggled with the pencil for
some time without saying anything but Alice was too strong for him and at last
he panted out »My dear I really must get a thinner pencil I cant manage this
one a bit it writes all manner of things that I dont intend «
»What manner of things« said the Queen looking over the book in which
Alice had put The White Knight is sliding down the poker He balances very badly
»Thats not a memorandum of your feelings«
There was a book lying near Alice on the table and while she sat watching
the White King for she was still a little anxious about him and had the ink
all ready to throw over him in case he fainted again she turned over the
leaves to find some part that she could read » for its all in some language
I dont know« she said to herself
It was like this
She puzzled over this for some time but at last a bright thought struck her
»Why its a Lookingglass book of course And if I hold it up to a glass the
words will all go the right way again«
This was the poem that Alice read
Jabberwocky
Twas brillig and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogoves
And the mome raths outgrabe
»Beware the Jabberwock my son
The jaws that bite the claws that catch
Beware the Jubjub bird and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch«
He took his vorpal sword in hand
Long time the manxome foe he sought
So rested he by the Tumtum tree
And stood awhile in thought
And as in uffish thought he stood
The Jabberwock with eyes of flame
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood
And burbled as it came
One two One two And through and through
The vorpal blade went snickersnack
He left it dead and with its head
He went galumphing back
»And hast thou slain the Jabberwock
Come to my arms my beamish boy
O frabjous day Callooh Callay«
He chortled in his joy
Twas brillig and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogoves
And the mome raths outgrabe
»It seems very pretty« she said when she had finished it »but its rather hard
to understand« You see she didnt like to confess even to herself that she
couldnt make it out at all »Somehow it seems to fill my head with ideas
only I dont exactly know what they are However somebody killed something
thats clear at any rate «
»But oh« thought Alice suddenly jumping up »if I dont make haste I
shall have to go back through the Lookingglass before Ive seen what the rest
of the house is like Lets have a look at the garden first« She was out of the
room in a moment and ran down stairs or at least it wasnt exactly running
but a new invention for getting down stairs quickly and easily as Alice said to
herself She just kept the tips of her fingers on the handrail and floated
gently down without even touching the stairs with her feet then she floated on
through the hall and would have gone straight out at the door in the same way
if she hadnt caught hold of the doorpost She was getting a little giddy with
so much floating in the air and was rather glad to find herself walking again
in the natural way
Chapter II
The Garden of Live Flowers
»I should see the garden far better« said Alice to herself »if I could get to
the top of that hill and heres a path that leads straight to it at least
no it doesnt do that « after going a few yards along the path and turning
several sharp corners »but I suppose it will at last But how curiously it
twists Its more like a corkscrew than a path Well this turn goes to the hill
I suppose no it doesnt This goes straight back to the house Well then
Ill try it the other way«
And so she did wandering up and down and trying turn after turn but
always coming back to the house do what she would Indeed once when she
turned a corner rather more quickly than usual she ran against it before she
could stop herself
»Its no use talking about it« Alice said looking up at the house and
pretending it was arguing with her »Im not going in again yet I know I should
have to get through the Lookingglass again back into the old room and
thered be an end of all my adventures«
So resolutely turning her back upon the house she set out once more down
the path determined to keep straight on till she got to the hill For a few
minutes all went on well and she was just saying »I really shall do it this
time « when the path gave a sudden twist and shook itself as she described it
afterwards and the next moment she found herself actually walking in at the
door
»Oh its too bad« she cried »I never saw such a house for getting in the
way Never«
However there was the hill full in sight so there was nothing to be done
but start again This time she came upon a large flowerbed with a border of
daisies and a willowtree growing in the middle
»O Tigerlily« said Alice addressing herself to one that was waving
gracefully about in the wind »I wish you could talk«
»We can talk« said the Tigerlily »when theres anybody worth talking to«
Alice was so astonished that she couldnt speak for a minute it quite
seemed to take her breath away At length as the Tigerlily only went on waving
about she spoke again in a timid voice almost in a whisper »And can all the
flowers talk«
»As well as you can« said the Tigerlily »And a great deal louder«
»It isnt manners for us to begin you know« said the Rose »and I really
was wondering when youd speak Said I to myself Her face has got some sense in
it though its not a clever one Still youre the right colour and that goes
a long way«
»I dont care about the colour« the Tigerlily remarked »If only her
petals curled up a little more shed be all right«
Alice didnt like being criticized so she began asking questions »Arent
you sometimes frightened at being planted out here with nobody to take care of
you«
»Theres the tree in the middle« said the Rose »What else is it good for«
»But what could it do if any danger came« Alice asked
»It could bark« said the Rose
»It says Boughwough« cried a Daisy »Thats why its branches are called
boughs«
»Didnt you know that« cried another Daisy And here they all began
shouting together till the air seemed quite full of little shrill voices
»Silence every one of you« cried the Tigerlily waving itself passionately
from side to side and trembling with excitement »They know I cant get at
them« it panted bending its quivering head towards Alice »or they wouldnt
dare to do it«
»Never mind« Alice said in a soothing tone and stooping down to the
daisies who were just beginning again she whispered »If you dont hold your
tongues Ill pick you«
There was silence in a moment and several of the pink daisies turned white
»Thats right« said the Tigerlily »The daisies are worst of all When one
speaks they all begin together and its enough to make one wither to hear the
way they go on«
»How is it you can all talk so nicely« Alice said hoping to get it into a
better temper by a compliment »Ive been in many gardens before but none of
the flowers could talk«
»Put your hand down and feel the ground« said the Tigerlily »Then youll
know why«
Alice did so »Its very hard« she said »but I dont see what that has to
do with it«
»In most gardens« the Tigerlily said »they make the beds too soft so
that the flowers are always asleep«
This sounded a very good reason and Alice was quite pleased to know it »I
never thought of that before« she said
»Its my opinion that you never think at all« the Rose said in a rather
severe tone
»I never saw anybody that looked stupider« a Violet said so suddenly that
Alice quite jumped for it hadnt spoken before
»Hold your tongue« cried the Tigerlily »As if you ever saw anybody You
keep your head under the leaves and snore away there till you know no more
whats going on in the world than if you were a bud«
»Are there any more people in the garden besides me« Alice said not
choosing to notice the Roses last remark
»Theres one other flower in the garden that can move about like you« said
the Rose »I wonder how you do it « »Youre always wondering« said the
Tigerlily »but shes more bushy than you are«
»Is she like me« Alice asked eagerly for the thought crossed her mind
»Theres another little girl in the garden somewhere«
»Well she has the same awkward shape as you« the Rose said »but shes
redder and her petals are shorter I think«
»Theyre done up close like a dahlia« said the Tigerlily »not tumbled
about like yours«
»But thats not your fault« the Rose added kindly »Youre beginning to
fade you know and then one cant help ones petals getting a little untidy«
Alice didnt like this idea at all so to change the subject she asked
»Does she ever come out here«
»I daresay youll see her soon« said the Rose »Shes one of the kind that
has nine spikes you know«
»Where does she wear them« Alice asked with some curiosity
»Why all round her head of course« the Rose replied »I was wondering you
hadnt got some too I thought it was the regular rule«
»Shes coming« cried the Larkspur »I hear her footstep thump thump
along the gravelwalk«
Alice looked round eagerly and found that it was the Red Queen »Shes grown
a good deal« was her first remark She had indeed when Alice first found her
in the ashes she had been only three inches high and here she was half a
head taller than Alice herself
»Its the fresh air that does it« said the Rose »wonderfully fine air it
is out here«
»I think Ill go and meet her« said Alice for though the flowers were
interesting enough she felt that it would be far grander to have a talk with a
real Queen
»You cant possibly do that« said the Rose »I should advise you to walk
the other way«
This sounded nonsense to Alice so she said nothing but set off at once
towards the Red Queen To her surprise she lost sight of her in a moment and
found herself walking in at the frontdoor again
A little provoked she drew back and after looking everywhere for the
Queen whom she spied out at last a long way off she thought she would try
the plan this time of walking in the opposite direction
It succeeded beautifully She had not been walking a minute before she found
herself face to face with the Red Queen and full in sight of the hill she had
been so long aiming at
»Where do you come from« said the Red Queen »And where are you going Look
up speak nicely and dont twiddle your fingers all the time«
Alice attended to all these directions and explained as well as she could
that she had lost her way
»I dont know what you mean by your way« said the Queen »all the ways
about here belong to me but why did you come out here at all« she added in a
kinder tone »Curtsey while youre thinking what to say It saves time«
Alice wondered a little at this but she was too much in awe of the Queen to
disbelieve it »Ill try it when I go home« she thought to herself »the next
time Im a little late for dinner«
»Its time for you to answer now« the Queen said looking at her watch
»open your mouth a little wider when you speak and always say your Majesty«
»I only wanted to see what the garden was like your Majesty «
»Thats right« said the Queen patting her on the head which Alice didnt
like at all »though when you say garden Ive seen gardens compared with
which this would be a wilderness«
Alice didnt dare to argue the point but went on » and I thought Id try
and find my way to the top of that hill «
»When you say hill« the Queen interrupted »I could show you hills in
comparison with which youd call that a valley«
»No I shouldnt« said Alice surprised into contradicting her at last »a
hill cant be a valley you know That would be nonsense «
The Red Queen shook her head »You may call it nonsense if you like« she
said »but Ive heard nonsense compared with which that would be as sensible as
a dictionary«
Alice curtseyed again as she was afraid from the Queens tone that she was
a little offended and they walked on in silence till they got to the top of the
little hill
For some minutes Alice stood without speaking looking out in all directions
over the country and a most curious country it was There were a number of
tiny little brooks running straight across it from side to side and the ground
between was divided up into squares by a number of little green hedges that
reached from brook to brook
»I declare its marked out just like a large chess Alice said at last
»There ought to be some men moving about somewhere and so there are« she
added in a tone of delight and her heart began to beat quick with excitement as
she went on »Its a great huge game of chess thats being played all over the
world if this is the world at all you know Oh what fun it is How I wish I
was one of them I wouldnt mind being a Pawn if only I might join though of
course I should like to be a Queen best«
She glanced rather shyly at the real Queen as she said this but her
companion only smiled pleasantly and said »Thats easily managed You can be
the White Queens Pawn if you like as Lilys too young to play and youre in
the Second Square to begin with when you get to the Eighth Square youll be a
Queen « Just at this moment somehow or other they began to run
Alice never could quite make out in thinking it over afterwards how it was
that they began all she remembers is that they were running hand in hand and
the Queen went so fast that it was all she could do to keep up with her and
still the Queen kept crying »Faster Faster« but Alice felt she could not go
faster though she had no breath left to say so
The most curious part of the thing was that the trees and the other things
round them never changed their places at all however fast they went they never
seemed to pass anything »I wonder if all the things move along with us«
thought poor puzzled Alice And the Queen seemed to guess her thoughts for she
cried »Faster Dont try to talk«
Not that Alice had any idea of doing that She felt as if she would never be
able to talk again she was getting so much out of breath and still the Queen
cried »Faster Faster« and dragged her along »Are we nearly there« Alice
managed to pant out at last
»Nearly there« the Queen repeated »Why we passed it ten minutes ago
Faster« And they ran on for a time in silence with the wind whistling in
Alices ears and almost blowing her hair off her head she fancied
»Now Now« cried the Queen »Faster Faster« And they went so fast that at
last they seemed to skim through the air hardly touching the ground with their
feet till suddenly just as Alice was getting quite exhausted they stopped
and she found herself sitting on the ground breathless and giddy
The Queen propped her up against a tree and said kindly »You may rest a
little now«
Alice looked round her in great surprise »Why I do believe weve been
under this tree the whole time Everythings just as it was«
»Of course it is« said the Queen »What would you have it«
»Well in our country« said Alice still panting a little »youd generally
get to somewhere else if you ran very fast for a long time as weve been
doing«
»A slow sort of country« said the Queen »Now here you see it takes all
the running you can do to keep in the same place If you want to get somewhere
else you must run at least twice as fast as that«
»Id rather not try please« said Alice »Im quite content to stay here
only I am so hot and thirsty«
»I know what youd like« the Queen said goodnaturedly taking a little box
out of her pocket »Have a biscuit«
Alice thought it would not be civil to say »No« though it wasnt at all
what she wanted She took it and ate it as well as she could and it was very
dry and she thought she had never been so nearly choked in all her life
»While youre refreshing yourself« said the Queen »Ill just take the
measurements« And she took a ribbon out of her pocket marked in inches and
began measuring the ground and sticking little pegs in here and there
»At the end of two yards« she said putting in a peg to mark the distance
»I shall give you your directions have another biscuit«
»No thank you« said Alice »ones quite enough«
»Thirst quenched I hope« said the Queen
Alice did not know what to say to this but luckily the Queen did not wait
for an answer but went on »At the end of three yards I shall repeat them for
fear of your forgetting them At the end of four I shall say goodbye And at
the end of five I shall go«
She had got all the pegs put in by this time and Alice looked on with great
interest as she returned to the tree and then began slowly walking down the
row
At the twoyard peg she faced round and said »A pawn goes two squares in
its first move you know So youll go very quickly through the Third Square
by railway I should think and youll find yourself in the Fourth Square in no
time Well that square belongs to Tweedledum and Tweedledee the Fifth is
mostly water the Sixth belongs to Humpty Dumpty But you make no remark«
»I I didnt know I had to make one just then« Alice faltered out
»You should have said« the Queen went on in a tone of grave reproof »Its
extremely kind of you to tell me all this however well suppose it said the
Seventh Square is all forest however one of the Knights will show you the way
and in the Eighth Square we shall be Queens together and its all feasting
and fun« Alice got up and curtseyed and sat down again
At the next peg the Queen turned again and this time she said »Speak in
French when you cant think of the English for a thing turn out your toes as
you walk and remember who you are« She did not wait for Alice to curtsey
this time but walked on quickly to the next peg where she turned for a moment
to say »Goodbye« and then hurried on to the last
How it happened Alice never knew but exactly as she came to the last peg
she was gone Whether she vanished into the air or whether she ran quickly into
the wood »and she can run very fast« thought Alice there was no way of
guessing but she was gone and Alice began to remember that she was a Pawn and
that it would soon be time for her to move
Chapter III
LookingGlass Insects
Of course the first thing to do was to make a grand survey of the country she
was going to travel through »Its something very like learning geography«
thought Alice as she stood on tiptoe in hopes of being able to see a little
further »Principal rivers there are none Principal mountains Im on the
only one but I dont think its got any name Principal towns why what are
those creatures making honey down there They cant be bees nobody ever saw
bees a mile off you know « and for some time she stood silent watching one of
them that was bustling about among the flowers poking its proboscis into them
»just as if it was a regular bee« thought Alice
However this was anything but a regular bee in fact it was an elephant
as Alice soon found out though the idea quite took her breath away at first
»And what enormous flowers they must be« was her next idea »Something like
cottages with the roofs taken off and stalks put to them and what quantities
of honey they must make I think Ill go down and no I wont go just yet«
she went on checking herself just as she was beginning to run down the hill
and trying to find some excuse for turning shy so suddenly »Itll never do to
go down among them without a good long branch to brush them away and what fun
itll be when they ask me how I liked my walk I shall say Oh I liked it well
enough here came the favourite little toss of the head only it was so dusty
and hot and the elephants did tease so«
»I think Ill go down the other way« she said after a pause »and perhaps I
may visit the elephants later on Besides I do so want to get into the Third
Square«
So with this excuse she ran down the hill and jumped over the first of
the six little brooks
»Tickets please« said the Guard putting his head in at the window In a
moment everybody was holding out a ticket they were about the same size as the
people and quite seemed to fill the carriage
»Now then Show your ticket child« the Guard went on looking angrily at
Alice And a great many voices all said together »like the chorus of a song«
thought Alice »Dont keep him waiting child Why his time is worth a thousand
pounds a minute«
»Im afraid I havent got one« Alice said in a frightened tone »there
wasnt a ticketoffice where I came from« And again the chorus of voices went
on »There wasnt room for one where she came from The land there is worth a
thousand pounds an inch«
»Dont make excuses« said the Guard »you should have bought one from the
enginedriver« And once more the chorus of voices went on with »The man that
drives the engine Why the smoke alone is worth a thousand pounds a puff«
Alice thought to herself »Then theres no use in speaking« The voices
didnt join in this time as she hadnt spoken but to her great surprise
they all thought in chorus I hope you understand what thinking in chorus means
for I must confess that I dont »Better say nothing at all Language is worth
a thousand pounds a word«
»I shall dream about a thousand pounds tonight I know I shall« thought
Alice
All this time the Guard was looking at her first through a telescope then
through a microscope and then through an operaglass At last he said »Youre
traveling the wrong way« and shut up the window and went away »So young a
child« said the gentleman sitting opposite to her he was dressed in white
paper »ought to know which way shes going even if she doesnt know her own
name«
A Goat that was sitting next to the gentleman in white shut his eyes and
said in a loud voice »She ought to know her way to the ticketoffice even if
she doesnt know her alphabet«
There was a Beetle sitting next the Goat it was a very queer carriagefull
of passengers altogether and as the rule seemed to be that they should all
speak in turn he went on with »Shell have to go back from here as luggage«
Alice couldnt see who was sitting beyond the Beetle but a hoarse voice
spoke next »Change engines « it said and there it choked and was obliged to
leave off
»It sounds like a horse« Alice thought to herself And an extremely small
voice close to her ear said »You might make a joke on that something about
horse and hoarse you know«
Then a very gentle voice in the distance said »She must be labeled Lass
with care you know «
And after that other voices went on »What a number of people there are in
the carriage« thought Alice saying »She must go by post as shes got a head
on her « »She must be sent as a message by the telegraph « »She must draw the
train herself the rest of the way « and so on
But the gentleman dressed in white paper leaned forwards and whispered in
her ear »Never mind what they all say my dear but take a returnticket every
time the train stops«
»Indeed I shant« Alice said rather impatiently »I dont belong to this
railway journey at all I was in a wood just now and I wish I could get back
there«
»You might make a joke on that« said the little voice close to her ear
»something about you would if you could you know«
»Dont tease so« said Alice looking about in vain to see where the voice
came from »If youre so anxious to have a joke made why dont you make one
yourself«
The little voice sighed deeply It was very unhappy evidently and Alice
would have said something pitying to comfort it »if it would only sigh like
other people« she thought But this was such a wonderfully small sigh that she
wouldnt have heard it all if it hadnt come quite close to her ear The
consequence of this was that it tickled her ear very much and quite took off
her thoughts from the unhappiness of the poor little creature
»I know you are a friend« the little voice went on »a dear friend and an
old friend And you wont hurt me though I am an insect«
»What kind of insect« Alice inquired a little anxiously What she really
wanted to know was whether it could sting or not but she thought this wouldnt
be quite a civil question to ask
»What then you dont « the little voice began when it was drowned by a
shrill scream from the engine and everybody jumped up in alarm Alice among the
rest
The Horse who had put his head out of the window quietly drew it in and
said »Its only a brook we have to jump over« Everybody seemed satisfied with
this though Alice felt a little nervous at the idea of trains jumping at all
»However itll take us into the Fourth Square thats some comfort« she said
to herself In another moment she felt the carriage rise straight up into the
air and in her fright she caught at the thing nearest to her hand which
happened to be the Goats beard
But the beard seemed to melt away as she touched it and she found herself
sitting quietly under a tree while the Gnat for that was the insect she had
been talking to was balancing itself on a twig just over her head and fanning
her with its wings
It certainly was a very large Gnat »about the size of a chicken« Alice
thought Still she couldnt feel nervous with it after they had been talking
together so long
» then you dont like all insects« the Gnat went on as quietly as if
nothing had happened
»I like them when they can talk« Alice said »None of them ever talk where
I come from«
»What sort of insects do you rejoice in where you come from« the Gnat
inquired
»I dont rejoice in insects at all« Alice explained »because Im rather
afraid of them at least the large kinds But I can tell you the names of some
of them«
»Of course they answer to their names« the Gnat remarked carelessly
»I never knew them do it«
»Whats the use of their having names« the Gnat said »if they wont
answer to them«
»No use to them« said Alice »but its useful to the people that name them
I suppose If not why do things have names at all«
»I cant say« the Gnat replied »Further on in the wood down there
theyve got no names however go on with your list of insects youre wasting
time«
»Well theres the Horsefly« Alice began counting off the names on her
fingers
»All right« said the Gnat »Half way up that bush youll see a
Rockinghorsefly if you look Its made entirely of wood and gets about by
swinging itself from branch to branch«
»What does it live on« Alice asked with great curiosity
»Sap and sawdust« said the Gnat »Go on with the list«
Alice looked at the Rockinghorsefly with great interest and made up her
mind that it must have been just repainted it looked so bright and sticky and
then she went on
»And theres the Dragonfly«
»Look on the branch above your head« said the Gnat »and there youll find
a Snapdragonfly Its body is made of plumpudding its wings of hollyleaves
and its head is a raisin burning in brandy«
»And what does it live on« Alice asked as before
»Frumenty and mincepie« the Gnat replied »and it makes its nest in a
Christmasbox«
»And then theres the Butterfly« Alice went on after she had taken a good
look at the insect with its head on fire and had thought to herself »I wonder
if thats the reason insects are so fond of flying into candles because they
want to turn into Snapdragonflies«
»Crawling at your feet« said the Gnat Alice drew her feet back in some
alarm »you may observe a Breadandbutterfly Its wings are thin slices of
breadandbutter its body is a crust and its head is a lump of sugar«
»And what does it live on«
»Weak tea with cream in it«
A new difficulty came into Alices head »Supposing it couldnt find any«
she suggested
»Then it would die of course«
»But that must happen very often« Alice remarked thoughtfully
»It always happens« said the Gnat
After this Alice was silent for a minute or two pondering The Gnat amused
itself meanwhile by humming round and round her head at last it settled again
and remarked »I suppose you dont want to lose your name«
»No indeed« Alice said a little anxiously
»And yet I dont know« the Gnat went on in a careless tone »only think how
convenient it would be if you could manage to go home without it For instance
if the governess wanted to call you to your lessons she would call out Come
here and there she would have to leave off because there wouldnt be any
name for her to call and of course you wouldnt have to go you know«
»That would never do Im sure« said Alice »the governess would never
think of excusing me lessons for that If she couldnt remember my name shed
call me Miss as the servants do«
»Well if she said Miss and didnt say anything more« the Gnat remarked
»of course youd miss your lessons Thats a joke I wish you had made it«
»Why do you wish I had made it« Alice asked »Its a very bad one«
But the Gnat only sighed deeply while two large tears came rolling down its
cheeks
»You shouldnt make jokes« Alice said »if it makes you so unhappy«
Then came another of those melancholy little sighs and this time the poor
Gnat really seemed to have sighed itself away for when Alice looked up there
was nothing whatever to be seen on the twig and as she was getting quite
chilly with sitting still so long she got up and walked on
She very soon came to an open field with a wood on the other side of it it
looked much darker than the last wood and Alice felt a little timid about going
into it However on second thoughts she made up her mind to go on »for I
certainly wont go back« she thought to herself and this was the only way to
the Eighth Square
»This must be the wood« she said thoughtfully to herself »where things
have no names I wonder whatll become of my name when I go in I shouldnt like
to lose it at all because theyd have to give me another and it would be
almost certain to be an ugly one But then the fun would be trying to find the
creature that has got my old name Thats just like the advertisements you
know when people lose dogs answers to the name of Dash had on a brass collar
just fancy calling everything you met Alice till one of them answered Only
they wouldnt answer at all if they were wise«
She was rambling on in this way when she reached the wood it looked very
cool and shady »Well at any rate its a great comfort« she said as she
stepped under the trees »after being so hot to get into the into the into
what« she went on rather surprised at not being able to think of the word »I
mean to get under the under the under this you know« putting her hand on
the trunk of the tree »What does it call itself I wonder I do believe its
got no name why to be sure it hasnt«
She stood silent for a minute thinking then she suddenly began again
»Then it really has happened after all And now who am I I will remember if
I can Im determined to do it« But being determined didnt help her much and
all she could say after a great deal of puzzling was »L I know it begins with
L«
Just then a Fawn came wandering by it looked at Alice with its large gentle
eyes but didnt seem at all frightened »Here then Here then« Alice said as
she held out her hand and tried to stroke it but it only started back a little
and then stood looking at her again
»What do you call yourself« the Fawn said at last Such a soft sweet voice
it had
»I wish I knew« thought poor Alice She answered rather sadly »Nothing
just now«
»Think again« it said »that wont do«
Alice thought but nothing came of it »Please would you tell me what you
call yourself« she said timidly »I think that might help a little«
»Ill tell you if youll come a little further on« the Fawn said »I
cant remember here«
So they walked on together through the wood Alice with her arms clasped
lovingly round the soft neck of the Fawn till they came out into another open
field and here the Fawn gave a sudden bound into the air and shook itself free
from Alices arm »Im a Fawn« it cried out in a voice of delight »And dear
me youre a human child« A sudden look of alarm came into its beautiful brown
eyes and in another moment it had darted away at full speed
Alice stood looking after it almost ready to cry with vexation at having
lost her dear little fellowtraveler so suddenly »However I know my name now«
she said »thats some comfort Alice Alice I wont forget it again And
now which of these fingerposts ought I to follow I wonder«
It was not a very difficult question to answer as there was only one road
through the wood and the two fingerposts both pointed along it »Ill settle
it« Alice said to herself »when the road divides and they point different
ways«
But this did not seem likely to happen She went on and on a long way but
wherever the road divided there were sure to be two fingerposts pointing the
same way one marked »TO TWEEDLEDUMS HOUSE« and the other »TO THE HOUSE OF
TWEEDLEDEE«
»I do believe« said Alice at last »that they live in the same house I
wonder I never thought of that before But I cant stay there long Ill just
call and say How dye do and ask them the way out of the wood If I could only
get to the Eighth Square before it gets dark« So she wandered on talking to
herself as she went till on turning a sharp corner she came upon two fat
little men so suddenly that she could not help starting back but in another
moment she recovered herself feeling sure that they must be
Chapter IV
Tweedledum and Tweedledee
They were standing under a tree each with an arm round the others neck and
Alice knew which was which in a moment because one of them had DUM embroidered
on his collar and the other DEE »I suppose theyve each got TWEEDLE round at
the back of the collar« she said to herself
They stood so still that she quite forgot they were alive and she was just
going round to see if the word TWEEDLE was written at the back of each collar
when she was startled by a voice coming from the one marked DUM
»If you think were waxworks« he said »you ought to pay you know
Waxworks werent made to be looked at for nothing Nohow«
»Contrariwise« added the one marked DEE »if you think were alive you
ought to speak«
»Im sure Im very sorry« was all Alice could say for the words of the old
song kept ringing through her head like the ticking of a clock and she could
hardly help saying them out loud
»Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Agreed to have a battle
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
Had spoiled his nice new rattle
Just then flew down a monstrous crow
As black as a tarbarrel
Which frightened both the heroes so
They quite forgot their quarrel«
»I know what youre thinking about« said Tweedledum »but it isnt so nohow«
»Contrariwise« continued Tweedledee »if it was so it might be and if it
were so it would be but as it isnt it aint Thats logic«
»I was thinking« Alice said politely »which is the best way out of this
wood its getting so dark Would you tell me please«
But the fat little men only looked at each other and grinned
They looked so exactly like a couple of great schoolboys that Alice
couldnt help pointing her finger at Tweedledum and saying »First Boy«
»Nohow« Tweedledum cried out briskly and shut his mouth up again with a
snap
»Next Boy« said Alice passing on to Tweedledee though she felt quite
certain he would only shout out »Contrariwise« and so he did
»Youve begun wrong« cried Tweedledum »The first thing in a visit is to
say How dye do and shake hands« And here the two brothers gave each other a
hug and then they held out the two hands that were free to shake hands with
her
Alice did not like shaking hands with either of them first for fear of
hurting the other ones feelings so as the best way out of the difficulty she
took hold of both hands at once the next moment they were dancing round in a
ring This seemed quite natural she remembered afterwards and she was not
even surprised to hear music playing it seemed to come from the tree under
which they were dancing and it was done as well as she could make it out by
the branches rubbing one across the other like fiddles and fiddlesticks
»But it certainly was funny« Alice said afterwards when she was telling
her sister the history of all this »to find myself singing Here we go round
the mulberry bush I dont know when I began it but somehow I felt as if Id
been singing it a long long time«
The other two dancers were fat and very soon out of breath »Four times
round is enough for one dance« Tweedledum panted out and they left off dancing
as suddenly as they had begun the music stopped at the same moment
Then they let go of Alices hands and stood looking at her for a minute
there was a rather awkward pause as Alice didnt know how to begin a
conversation with people she had just been dancing with »It would never do to
say How dye do now« she said to herself »we seem to have got beyond that
somehow«
»I hope youre not much tired« she said at last
»Nohow And thank you very much for asking« said Tweedledum
»So much obliged« added Tweedledee »You like poetry«
»Yees pretty well some poetry« Alice said doubtfully »Would you tell
me which road leads out of the wood«
»What shall I repeat to her« said Tweedledee looking round at Tweedledum
with great solemn eyes and not noticing Alices question
»The Walrus and the Carpenter is the longest« Tweedledum replied giving
his brother an affectionate hug
Tweedledee began instantly
»The sun was shining «
Here Alice ventured to interrupt him »If its very long« she said as politely
as she could »would you please tell me first which road «
Tweedledee smiled gently and began again
»The sun was shining on the sea
Shining with all his might
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright
And this was odd because it was
The middle of the night
The moon was shining sulkily
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done
Its very rude of him she said
To come and spoil the fun
The sea was wet as wet could be
The sands were dry as dry
You could not see a cloud because
No cloud was in the sky
No birds were flying overhead
There were no birds to fly
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand
If this were only cleared away
They said it would be grand
If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year
Do you suppose the Walrus said
That they could get it clear
I doubt it said the Carpenter
And shed a bitter tear
O Oysters come and walk with us
The Walrus did beseech
A pleasant walk a pleasant talk
Along the briny beach
We cannot do with more than four
To give a hand to each
The eldest Oyster looked at him
But never a word he said
The eldest Oyster winked his eye
And shook his heavy head
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oysterbed
But four young Oysters hurried up
All eager for the treat
Their coats were brushed their faces washed
Their shoes were clean and neat
And this was odd because you know
They hadnt any feet
Four other Oysters followed them
And yet another four
And thick and fast they came at last
And more and more and more
All hopping through the frothy waves
And scrambling to the shore
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row
The time has come the Walrus said
To talk of many things
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax
Of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings
But wait a bit the Oysters cried
Before we have our chat
For some of us are out of breath
And all of us are fat
No hurry said the Carpenter
They thanked him much for that
A loaf of bread the Walrus said
Is what we chiefly need
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed
Now if youre ready Oysters dear
We can begin to feed
But not on us the Oysters cried
Turning a little blue
After such kindness that would be
A dismal thing to do
The night is fine the Walrus said
Do you admire the view
It was so kind of you to come
And you are very nice
The Carpenter said nothing but
Cut us another slice
I wish you were not quite so deaf
Ive had to ask you twice
It seems a shame the Walrus said
To play them such a trick
After weve brought them out so far
And made them trot so quick
The Carpenter said nothing but
The butters spread too thick
I weep for you the Walrus said
I deeply sympathize
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size
Holding his pockethandkerchief
Before his streaming eyes
O Oysters said the Carpenter
Youve had a pleasant run
Shall we be trotting home again
But answer came there none
And this was scarcely odd because
Theyd eaten every one«
»I like the Walrus best« said Alice »because he was a little sorry for the
poor oysters«
»He ate more than the Carpenter though« said Tweedledee »You see he held
his handkerchief in front so that the Carpenter couldnt count how many he
took contrariwise«
»That was mean« Alice said indignantly »Then I like the Carpenter best
if he didnt eat so many as the Walrus«
»But he ate as many as he could get« said Tweedledum
This was a puzzler After a pause Alice began »Well They were both very
unpleasant characters « Here she checked herself in some alarm at hearing
something that sounded to her like the puffing of a large steamengine in the
wood near them though she feared it was more likely to be a wild beast »Are
there any lions or tigers about here« she asked timidly
»Its only the Red King snoring« said Tweedledee
»Come and look at him« the brothers cried and they each took one of
Alices hands and led her up to where the King was sleeping
»Isnt he a lovely sight« said Tweedledum
Alice couldnt say honestly that he was He had a tall red nightcap on
with a tassel and he was lying crumpled up into a sort of untidy heap and
snoring loud »fit to snore his head off« as Tweedledum remarked
»Im afraid hell catch cold with lying on the damp grass« said Alice who
was a very thoughtful little girl
»Hes dreaming now« said Tweedledee »and what do you think hes dreaming
about«
Alice said »Nobody can guess that«
»Why about you« Tweedledee exclaimed clapping his hands triumphantly
»And if he left off dreaming about you where do you suppose youd be«
»Where I am now of course« said Alice
»Not you« Tweedledee retorted contemptuously »Youd be nowhere Why
youre only a sort of thing in his dream«
»If that there King was to wake« added Tweedledum »youd go out bang
just like a candle«
»I shouldnt« Alice exclaimed indignantly »Besides if Im only a sort of
thing in his dream what are you I should like to know«
»Ditto« said Tweedledum
»Ditto ditto« cried Tweedledee
He shouted this so loud that Alice couldnt help saying »Hush Youll be
waking him Im afraid if you make so much noise«
»Well its no use your talking about waking him« said Tweedledum »when
youre only one of the things in his dream You know very well youre not real«
»I am real« said Alice and began to cry
»You wont make yourself a bit realler by crying« Tweedledee remarked
»theres nothing to cry about«
»If I wasnt real« Alice said half laughing through her tears it all
seemed so ridiculous »I shouldnt be able to cry«
»I hope you dont suppose those are real tears« Tweedledum interrupted in a
tone of great contempt
»I know theyre talking nonsense« Alice thought to herself »and its
foolish to cry about it« So she brushed away her tears and went on as
cheerfully as she could »At any rate Id better be getting out of the wood
for really its coming on very dark Do you think its going to rain«
Tweedledum spread a large umbrella over himself and his brother and looked
up into it »No I dont think it is« he said »at least not under here
Nohow«
»But it may rain outside«
»It may if it chooses« said Tweedledee »weve no objection
Contrariwise«
»Selfish things« thought Alice and she was just going to say »Goodnight«
and leave them when Tweedledum sprang out from under the umbrella and seized
her by the wrist
»Do you see that« he said in a voice choking with passion and his eyes
grew large and yellow all in a moment as he pointed with a trembling finger at
a small white thing lying under the tree
»Its only a rattle« Alice said after a careful examination of the little
white thing »Not a rattlesnake you know« she added hastily thinking that he
was frightened »only an old rattle quite old and broken«
»I knew it was« cried Tweedledum beginning to stamp about wildly and tear
his hair »Its spoilt of course« Here he looked at Tweedledee who
immediately sat down on the ground and tried to hide himself under the
umbrella
Alice laid her hand upon his arm and said in a soothing tone »You neednt
be so angry about an old rattle«
»But it isnt old« Tweedledum cried in a greater fury than ever »Its
new I tell you I bought it yesterday my nice NEW RATTLE« and his voice
rose to a perfect scream
All this time Tweedledee was trying his best to fold up the umbrella with
himself in it which was such an extraordinary thing to do that it quite took
off Alices attention from the angry brother But he couldnt quite succeed and
it ended in his rolling over bundling up in the umbrella with only his head
out and there he lay opening and shutting his mouth and his large eyes
»looking more like a fish than anything else« Alice thought
»Of course you agree to have a battle« Tweedledum said in a calmer tone
»I suppose so« the other sulkily replied as he crawled out of the
umbrella »only she must help us to dress up you know«
So the two brothers went off handinhand into the wood and returned in a
minute with their arms full of things such as bolsters blankets hearthrugs
tablecloths dishcovers and coalscuttles »I hope youre a good hand at
pinning and tying strings« Tweedledum remarked »Every one of these things has
got to go on somehow or other«
Alice said afterwards she had never seen such a fuss made about anything in
all her life the way those two bustled about and the quantity of things they
put on and the trouble they gave her in tying strings and fastening buttons
»Really theyll be more like bundles of old clothes than anything else by the
time theyre ready« she said to herself as she arranged a bolster round the
neck of Tweedledee »to keep his head from being cut off« as he said
»You know« he added very gravely »its one of the most serious things that
can possibly happen to one in a battle to get ones head cut off«
Alice laughed loud but she managed to turn it into a cough for fear of
hurting his feelings
»Do I look very pale« said Tweedledum coming up to have his helmet tied
on He called it a helmet though it certainly looked much more like a
saucepan
»Well yes a little« Alice replied gently
»Im very brave generally« he went on in a low voice »only today I
happen to have a headache«
»And Ive got a toothache« said Tweedledee who had overheard the remark
»Im far worse than you«
»Then youd better not fight today« said Alice thinking it a good
opportunity to make peace
»We must have a bit of a fight but I dont care about going on long« said
Tweedledum »Whats the time now«
Tweedledee looked at his watch and said »Halfpast four«
»Lets fight till six and then have dinner« said Tweedledum
»Very well« the other said rather sadly »and she can watch us only
youd better not come very close« he added »I generally hit every thing I can
see when I get really excited«
»And I hit every thing within reach« cried Tweedledum »whether I can see
it or not«
Alice laughed »You must hit the trees pretty often I should think« she
said
Tweedledum looked round him with a satisfied smile »I dont suppose« he
said »therell be a tree left standing for ever so far round by the time
weve finished«
»And all about a rattle« said Alice still hoping to make them a little
ashamed of fighting for such a trifle
»I shouldnt have minded it so much« said Tweedledum »if it hadnt been a
new one«
»I wish the monstrous crow would come« thought Alice
»Theres only one sword you know« Tweedledum said to his brother »but you
can have the umbrella its quite as sharp Only we must begin quick Its
getting as dark as it can«
»And darker« said Tweedledee
It was getting dark so suddenly that Alice thought there must be a
thunderstorm coming on »What a thick black cloud that is« she said »And how
fast it comes Why I do believe its got wings«
»Its the crow« Tweedledum cried out in a shrill voice of alarm and the
two brothers took to their heels and were out of sight in a moment
Alice ran a little way into the wood and stopped under a large tree »It
can never get at me here« she thought »its far too large to squeeze itself in
among the trees But I wish it wouldnt flap its wings so it makes quite a
hurricane in the wood heres somebodys shawl being blown away«
Chapter V
Wool and Water
She caught the shawl as she spoke and looked about for the owner in another
moment the White Queen came running wildly through the wood with both arms
stretched out wide as if she were flying and Alice very civilly went to meet
her with the shawl
»Im very glad I happened to be in the way« Alice said as she helped her
to put on her shawl again
The White Queen only looked at her in a helpless frightened sort of way and
kept repeating something in a whisper to herself that sounded like
»Breadandbutter breadandbutter« and Alice felt that if there was to be any
conversation at all she must manage it herself So she began rather timidly
»Am I addressing the White Queen«
»Well yes if you call that adressing« the Queen said »It isnt my
notion of the thing at all«
Alice thought it would never do to have an argument at the very beginning of
their conversation so she smiled and said »If your Majesty will only tell me
the right way to begin Ill do it as well as I can«
»But I dont want it done at all« groaned the poor Queen »Ive been
adressing myself for the last two hours«
It would have been all the better as it seemed to Alice if she had got
some one else to dress her she was so dreadfully untidy »Every single things
crooked« Alice thought to herself »and shes all over pins May I put your
shawl straight for you« she added aloud
»I dont know whats the matter with it« the Queen said in a melancholy
voice »Its out of temper I think Ive pinned it here and Ive pinned it
there but theres no pleasing it«
»It cant go straight you know if you pin it all on one side« Alice said
as she gently put it right for her »and dear me what a state your hair is in«
»The brush has got entangled in it« the Queen said with a sigh »And I lost
the comb yesterday«
Alice carefully released the brush and did her best to get the hair into
order »Come you look rather better now« she said after altering most of the
pins »But really you should have a ladys maid«
»Im sure Ill take you with pleasure« the Queen said »Two pence a week
and jam every other day«
Alice couldnt help laughing as she said »I dont want you to hire me and
I dont care for jam«
»Its very good jam« said the Queen
»Well I dont want any today at any rate«
»You couldnt have it if you did want it« the Queen said »The rule is jam
tomorrow and jam yesterday but never jam today«
»It must come sometimes to jam today« Alice objected
»No it cant« said the Queen »Its jam every other day today isnt any
other day you know«
»I dont understand you« said Alice »Its dreadfully confusing«
»Thats the effect of living backwards« the Queen said kindly »it always
makes one a little giddy at first «
»Living backwards« Alice repeated in great astonishment »I never heard of
such a thing«
» but theres one great advantage in it that ones memory works both
ways«
»Im sure mine only works one way« Alice remarked »I cant remember
things before they happen«
»Its a poor sort of memory that only works backwards« the Queen remarked
»What sort of things do you remember best« Alice ventured to ask
»Oh things that happened the week after next« the Queen replied in a
careless tone »For instance now« she went on sticking a large piece of
plaster on her finger as she spoke »theres the Kings Messenger Hes in
prison now being punished and the trial doesnt even begin till next
Wednesday and of course the crime comes last of all«
»Suppose he never commits the crime« said Alice
»That would be all the better wouldnt it« the Queen said as she bound
the plaster round her finger with a bit of ribbon
Alice felt there was no denying that »Of course it would be all the
better« she said »but it wouldnt be all the better his being punished«
»Youre wrong there at any rate« said the Queen »Were you ever punished«
»Only for faults« said Alice
»And you were all the better for it I know« the Queen said triumphantly
»Yes but then I had done the things I was punished for« said Alice »that
makes all the difference«
»But if you hadnt done them« the Queen said »that would have been better
still better and better and better« Her voice went higher with each
»better« till it got quite to a squeak at last
Alice was just beginning to say »Theres a mistake somewhere « when the
Queen began screaming so loud that she had to leave the sentence unfinished
»Oh oh oh« shouted the Queen shaking her hand about as if she wanted to
shake it off »My fingers bleeding Oh oh oh oh«
Her screams were so exactly like the whistle of a steamengine that Alice
had to hold both her hands over her ears
»What is the matter« she said as soon as there was a chance of making
herself heard »Have you pricked your finger«
»I havent pricked it yet« the Queen said »but I soon shall oh oh oh«
»When do you expect to do it« Alice said feeling very much inclined to
laugh
»When I fasten my shawl again« the poor Queen groaned out »the brooch will
come undone directly Oh oh« As she said the words the brooch flew open and
the Queen clutched wildly at it and tried to clasp it again
»Take care« cried Alice »Youre holding it all crooked« And she caught at
the brooch but it was too late the pin had slipped and the Queen had pricked
her finger
»That accounts for the bleeding you see« she said to Alice with a smile
»Now you understand the way things happen here«
»But why dont you scream now« Alice asked holding her hands ready to put
over her ears again
»Why Ive done all the screaming already« said the Queen »What would be
the good of having it all over again«
By this time it was getting light »The crow must have flown away I think«
said Alice »Im so glad its gone I thought it was the night coming on«
»I wish I could manage to be glad« the Queen said »Only I never can
remember the rule You must be very happy living in this wood and being glad
whenever you like«
»Only it is so very lonely here« Alice said in a melancholy voice and at
the thought of her loneliness two large tears came rolling down her cheeks
»Oh dont go on like that« cried the poor Queen wringing her hands in
despair »Consider what a great girl you are Consider what a long way youve
come today Consider what oclock it is Consider anything only dont cry«
Alice could not help laughing at this even in the midst of her tears »Can
you keep from crying by considering things« she asked
»Thats the way its done« the Queen said with great decision »nobody can
do two things at once you know Lets consider your age to begin with how
old are you«
»Im seven and a half exactly«
»You neednt say exactly« the Queen remarked »I can believe it without
that Now Ill give you something to believe Im just one hundred and one five
months and a day«
»I cant believe that« said Alice
»Cant you« the Queen said in a pitying tone »Try again draw a long
breath and shut your eyes«
Alice laughed »Theres no use trying« she said »one cant believe
impossible things«
»I daresay you havent had much practice« said the Queen »When I was your
age I always did it for halfanhour a day Why sometimes Ive believed as
many as six impossible things before breakfast There goes the shawl again«
The brooch had come undone as she spoke and a sudden gust of wind blew the
Queens shawl across a little brook The Queen spread out her arms again and
went flying after it and this time she succeeded in catching it herself »Ive
got it« she cried in a triumphant tone »Now you shall see me pin it on again
all by myself«
»Then I hope your finger is better now« Alice said very politely as she
crossed the little brook after the Queen
»Oh much better« cried the Queen her voice rising into a squeak as she went
on »Much beetter Beetter Beeeetter Beeehh« The last word ended in a
long bleat so like a sheep that Alice quite started
She looked at the Queen who seemed to have suddenly wrapped herself up in
wool Alice rubbed her eyes and looked again She couldnt make out what had
happened at all Was she in a shop And was that really was it really a sheep
that was sitting on the other side of the counter Rub as she would she could
make nothing more of it she was in a little dark shop leaning with her elbows
on the counter and opposite to her was an old Sheep sitting in an armchair
knitting and every now and then leaving off to look at her through a great pair
of spectacles
»What is it you want to buy« the Sheep said at last looking up for a
moment from her knitting
»I dont quite know yet« Alice said very gently »I should like to look all
round me first if I might«
»You may look in front of you and on both sides if you like« said the
Sheep »but you cant look all round you unless youve got eyes at the back
of your head«
But these as it happened Alice had not got so she contented herself with
turning round looking at the shelves as she came to them
The shop seemed to be full of all manner of curious things but the oddest
part of it all was that whenever she looked hard at any shelf to make out
exactly what it had on it that particular shelf was always quite empty though
the others round it were crowded as full as they could hold
»Things flow about so here« she said at last in a plaintive tone after she
had spent a minute or so in vainly pursuing a large bright thing that looked
sometimes like a doll and sometimes like a workbox and was always in the shelf
next above the one she was looking at »And this one is the most provoking of
all but Ill tell you what « she added as a sudden thought struck her »Ill
follow it up to the very top shelf of all Itll puzzle it to go through the
ceiling I expect«
But even this plan failed the thing went through the ceiling as quietly as
possible as if it were quite used to it
»Are you a child or a teetotum« the Sheep said as she took up another pair
of needles »Youll make me giddy soon if you go on turning round like that«
She was now working with fourteen pairs at once and Alice couldnt help looking
at her in great astonishment
»How can she knit with so many« the puzzled child thought to herself »She
gets more and more like a porcupine every minute«
»Can you row« the Sheep asked handing her a pair of knittingneedles as
she spoke
»Yes a little but not on land and not with needles « Alice was
beginning to say when suddenly the needles turned into oars in her hands and
she found they were in a little boat gliding along between banks so there was
nothing for it but to do her best
»Feather« cried the Sheep as she took up another pair of needles
This didnt sound like a remark that needed any answer so Alice said
nothing but pulled away There was something very queer about the water she
thought as every now and then the oars got fast in it and would hardly come
out again
»Feather Feather« the Sheep cried again taking more needles »Youll be
catching a crab directly«
»A dear little crab« thought Alice »I should like that«
»Didnt you hear me say Feather« the Sheep cried angrily taking up quite a
bunch of needles
»Indeed I did« said Alice »youve said it very often and very loud
Please where are the crabs«
»In the water of course« said the Sheep sticking some of the needles into
her hair as her hands were full »Feather I say«
»Why do you say Feather so often« Alice asked at last rather vexed »Im
not a bird«
»You are« said the Sheep »youre a little goose«
This offended Alice a little so there was no more conversation for a minute
or two while the boat glided gently on sometimes among beds of weeds which
made the oars stick fast in the water worse than ever and sometimes under
trees but always with the same tall riverbanks frowning over their heads
»Oh please There are some scented rushes« Alice cried in a sudden
transport of delight »There really are and such beauties«
»You neednt say please to me about em« the Sheep said without looking up
from her knitting »I didnt put em there and Im not going to take em away«
»No but I meant please may we wait and pick some« Alice pleaded »If
you dont mind stopping the boat for a minute«
»How am I to stop it« said the Sheep »If you leave off rowing itll stop
of itself«
So the boat was left to drift down the stream as it would till it glided
gently in among the waving rushes And then the little sleeves were carefully
rolled up and the little arms were plunged in elbowdeep to get hold of the
rushes a good long way down before breaking them off and for a while Alice
forgot all about the Sheep and the knitting as she bent over the side of the
boat with just the ends of her tangled hair dipping into the water while with
bright eager eyes she caught at one bunch after another of the darling scented
rushes
»I only hope the boat wont tipple over« she said to herself »Oh what a
lovely one Only I couldnt quite reach it« And it certainly did seem a little
provoking »almost as if it happened on purpose« she thought that though she
managed to pick plenty of beautiful rushes as the boat glided by there was
always a more lovely one that she couldnt reach
»The prettiest are always further« she said at last with a sigh at the
obstinacy of the rushes in growing so far off as with flushed cheeks and
dripping hair and hands she scrambled back into her place and began to arrange
her newfound treasures
What mattered it to her just then that the rushes had begun to fade and to
lose all their scent and beauty from the very moment that she picked them Even
real scented rushes you know last only a very little while and these being
dreamrushes melted away almost like snow as they lay in heaps at her feet
but Alice hardly noticed this there were so many other curious things to think
about
They hadnt gone much farther before the blade of one of the oars got fast
in the water and wouldnt come out again so Alice explained it afterwards and
the consequence was that the handle of it caught her under the chin and in
spite of a series of little shrieks of »Oh oh oh« from poor Alice it swept
her straight off the seat and down among the heap of rushes
However she wasnt a bit hurt and was soon up again the Sheep went on
with her knitting all the while just as if nothing had happened »That was a
nice crab you caught« she remarked as Alice got back into her place very much
relieved to find herself still in the boat
»Was it I didnt see it« said Alice peeping cautiously over the side of
the boat into the dark water »I wish it hadnt let go I should so like a
little crab to take home with me« But the Sheep only laughed scornfully and
went on with her knitting
»Are there many crabs here« said Alice
»Crabs and all sorts of things« said the Sheep »plenty of choice only
make up your mind Now what do you want to buy«
»To buy« Alice echoed in a tone that was half astonished and half
frightened for the oars and the boat and the river had vanished all in a
moment and she was back again in the little dark shop
»I should like to buy an egg please« she said timidly »How do you sell
them«
»Fivepence farthing for one twopence for two« the Sheep replied
»Then two are cheaper than one« Alice said in a surprised tone taking out
her purse
»Only you must eat them both if you buy two« said the Sheep
»Then Ill have one please« said Alice as she put the money down on the
counter For she thought to herself »They mightnt be at all nice you know«
The Sheep took the money and put it away in a box then she said »I never
put things into peoples hands that would never do you must get it for
yourself« And so saying she went off to the other end of the shop and set the
egg upright on a shelf
»I wonder why it wouldnt do« thought Alice as she groped her way among
the tables and chairs for the shop was very dark towards the end »The egg
seems to get further away the more I walk towards it Let me see is this a
chair Why its got branches I declare How very odd to find trees growing
here And actually heres a little brook Well this is the very queerest shop I
ever saw«
So she went on wondering more and more at every step as everything turned into
a tree the moment she came up to it and she quite expected the egg to do the
same
Chapter VI
Humpty Dumpty
However the egg only got larger and larger and more and more human when she
had come within a few yards of it she saw that it had eyes and a nose and a
mouth and when she had come close to it she saw clearly that it was HUMPTY
DUMPTY himself »It cant be anybody else« she said to herself »Im as
certain of it as if his name were written all over his face«
It might have been written a hundred times easily on that enormous face
Humpty Dumpty was sitting with his legs crossed like a Turk on the top of a
high wall such a narrow one that Alice quite wondered how he could keep his
balance and as his eyes were steadily fixed in the opposite direction and he
didnt take the least notice of her she thought he must be a stuffed figure
after all
»And how exactly like an egg he is« she said aloud standing with her hands
ready to catch him for she was every moment expecting him to fall
»Its very provoking« Humpty Dumpty said after a long silence looking away
from Alice as he spoke »to be called an egg very«
»I said you looked like an egg Sir« Alice gently explained »And some eggs
are very pretty you know« she added hoping to turn her remark into a sort of
compliment
»Some people« said Humpty Dumpty looking away from her as usual »have no
more sense than a baby«
Alice didnt know what to say to this it wasnt at all like conversation
she thought as he never said anything to her in fact his last remark was
evidently addressed to a tree so she stood and softly repeated to herself
»Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the Kings horses and all the Kings men
Couldnt put Humpty Dumpty in his place again«
»That last line is much too long for the poetry« she added almost out loud
forgetting that Humpty Dumpty would hear her
»Dont stand chattering to yourself like that« Humpty Dumpty said looking
at her for the first time »but tell me your name and your business«
»My name is Alice but «
»Its a stupid name enough« Humpty Dumpty interrupted impatiently »What
does it mean«
»Must a name mean something« Alice asked doubtfully
»Of course it must« Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh »my name means
the shape I am and a good handsome shape it is too With a name like yours
you might be any shape almost«
»Why do you sit out here all alone« said Alice not wishing to begin an
argument
»Why because theres nobody with me« cried Humpty Dumpty »Did you think I
didnt know the answer to that Ask another«
»Dont you think youd be safer down on the ground« Alice went on not with
any idea of making another riddle but simply in her goodnatured anxiety for
the queer creature »That wall is so very narrow«
»What tremendously easy riddles you ask« Humpty Dumpty growled out »Of
course I dont think so Why if ever I did fall off which theres no chance
of but if I did « Here he pursed up his lips and looked so solemn and grand
that Alice could hardly help laughing »If I did fall« he went on »the King
has promised me ah you may turn pale if you like You didnt think I was
going to say that did you The King has promised me with his very own mouth
to to «
»To send all his horses and all his men« Alice interrupted rather
unwisely
»Now I declare thats too bad« Humpty Dumpty cried breaking into a sudden
passion »Youve been listening at doors and behind trees and down chimneys
or you couldnt have known it«
»I havent indeed« Alice said very gently »Its in a book«
»Ah well They may write such things in a book« Humpty Dumpty said in a
calmer tone »Thats what you call a History of England that is Now take a
good look at me Im one that has spoken to a King I am mayhap youll never
see such another and to show you Im not proud you may shake hands with me«
And he grinned almost from ear to ear as he leant forwards and as nearly as
possible fell off the wall in doing so and offered Alice his hand She watched
him a little anxiously as she took it »If he smiled much more the ends of his
mouth might meet behind« she thought »And then I dont know what would happen
to his head Im afraid it would come off«
»Yes all his horses and all his men« Humpty Dumpty went on »Theyd pick
me up again in a minute they would However this conversation is going on a
little too fast lets go back to the last remark but one«
»Im afraid I cant quite remember it« Alice said very politely
»In that case we start afresh« said Humpty Dumpty »and its my turn to
choose a subject « »He talks about it just as if it was a game« thought
Alice »So heres a question for you How old did you say you were«
Alice made a short calculation and said »Seven years and six months«
»Wrong« Humpty Dumpty exclaimed triumphantly »You never said a word like
it«
»I thought you meant How old are you« Alice explained
»If Id meant that Id have said it« said Humpty Dumpty
Alice didnt want to begin another argument so she said nothing
»Seven years and six months« Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully »An
uncomfortable sort of age Now if youd asked my advice Id have said Leave off
at seven but its too late now«
»I never ask advice about growing« Alice said indignantly
»Too proud« the other enquired
Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion »I mean« she said »that
one cant help growing older«
»One cant perhaps« said Humpty Dumpty »but two can With proper
assistance you might have left off at seven«
»What a beautiful belt youve got on« Alice suddenly remarked They had
had quite enough of the subject of age she thought and if they really were to
take turns in choosing subjects it was her turn now »At least« she corrected
herself on second thoughts »a beautiful cravat I should have said no a
belt I mean I beg your pardon« she added in dismay for Humpty Dumpty looked
thoroughly offended and she began to wish she hadnt chosen that subject »If
only I knew« she thought to herself »which was neck and which was waist«
Evidently Humpty Dumpty was very angry though he said nothing for a minute
or two When he did speak again it was in a deep growl
»It is a most provoking thing« he said at last »when a person
doesnt know a cravat from a belt«
»I know its very ignorant of me« Alice said in so humble a tone that
Humpty Dumpty relented
»Its a cravat child and a beautiful one as you say Its a present from
the White King and Queen There now«
»It is really« said Alice quite pleased to find that she had chosen a good
subject after all
»They gave it me« Humpty Dumpty continued thoughtfully as he crossed one
knee over the other and clasped his hands round it »they gave it me for an
unbirthday present«
»I beg your pardon« Alice said with a puzzled air
»Im not offended« said Humpty Dumpty
»I mean what is an unbirthday present«
»A present given when it isnt your birthday of course«
Alice considered a little »I like birthday presents best« she said at
last
»You dont know what youre talking about« cried Humpty Dumpty »How many
days are there in a year«
»Three hundred and sixtyfive« said Alice
»And how many birthdays have you«
»One«
»And if you take one from three hundred and sixtyfive what remains«
»Three hundred and sixtyfour of course«
Humpty Dumpty looked doubtful »Id rather see that done on paper« he said
Alice couldnt help smiling as she took out her memorandumbook and worked
the sum for him
365
1
364
Humpty Dumpty took the book and looked at it carefully »That seems to be done
right « he began
»Youre holding it upside down« Alice interrupted
»To be sure I was« Humpty Dumpty said gaily as she turned it round for him
»I thought it looked a little queer As I was saying that seems to be done
right though I havent time to look it over thoroughly just now and that
shows that there are three hundred and sixtyfour days when you might get
unbirthday presents «
»Certainly« said Alice
»And only one for birthday presents you know Theres glory for you«
»I dont know what you mean by glory« Alice said
Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously »Of course you dont till I tell you
I meant theres a nice knockdown argument for you«
»But glory doesnt mean a nice knockdown argument« Alice objected
»When I use a word« Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone »it
means just what I choose it to mean neither more nor less«
»The question is« said Alice »whether you can make words mean so many
different things«
»The question is« said Humpty Dumpty »which is to be master thats
all«
Alice was too much puzzled to say anything so after a minute Humpty Dumpty
began again »Theyve a temper some of them particularly verbs theyre the
proudest adjectives you can do anything with but not verbs however I can
manage the whole lot of them Impenetrability Thats what I say«
»Would you tell me please« said Alice »what that means«
»Now you talk like a reasonable child« said Humpty Dumpty looking very
much pleased »I meant by impenetrability that weve had enough of that subject
and it would be just as well if youd mention what you mean to do next as I
suppose you dont mean to stop here all the rest of your life«
»Thats a great deal to make one word mean« Alice said in a thoughtful
tone
»When I make a word do a lot of work like that« said Humpty Dumpty »I
always pay it extra«
»Oh« said Alice She was too much puzzled to make any other remark
»Ah you should see em come round me of a Saturday night« Humpty Dumpty
went on wagging his head gravely from side to side »for to get their wages
you know«
Alice didnt venture to ask what he paid them with and so you see I cant
tell you
»You seem very clever at explaining words Sir« said Alice »Would you
kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called Jabberwocky«
»Lets hear it« said Humpty Dumpty »I can explain all the poems that ever
were invented and a good many that havent been invented just yet«
This sounded very hopeful so Alice repeated the first verse
»Twas brillig and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogoves
And the mome raths outgrabe«
»Thats enough to begin with« Humpty Dumpty interrupted »there are plenty of
hard words there Brillig means four oclock in the afternoon the time when
you begin broiling things for dinner«
»Thatll do very well« said Alice »and slithy«
»Well slithy means lithe and slimy Lithe is the same as active You see
its like a pormanteau there are two meanings packed up into one word«
»I see it now« Alice remarked thoughtfully »and what are toves«
»Well toves are something like badgers theyre something like lizards
and theyre something like corkscrews«
»They must be very curiouslooking creatures«
»They are that« said Humpty Dumpty »also they make their nests under
sundials also they live on cheese«
»And whats to gyre and to gimble«
»To gyre is to go round and round like a gyroscope To gimble is to make
holes like a gimlet«
»And the wabe is the grassplot round a sundial I suppose« said Alice
surprised at her own ingenuity
»Of course it is Its called wabe you know because it goes a long way
before it and a long way behind it «
»And a long way beyond it on each side« Alice added
»Exactly so Well then mimsy is flimsy and miserable theres another
portmanteau for you And a borogove is a thin shabbylooking bird with its
feathers sticking out all round something like a live mop«
»And then mome raths« said Alice »Im afraid Im giving you a great deal
of trouble«
»Well a rath is a sort of green pig but mome Im not certain about I
think its short for from home meaning that theyd lost their way you know«
»And what does outgrabe mean«
»Well outgribing is something between bellowing and whistling with a kind
of sneeze in the middle however youll hear it done maybe down in the wood
yonder and when youve once heard it youll be quite content Whos been
repeating all that hard stuff to you«
»I read it in a book« said Alice »But I had some poetry repeated to me
much easier than that by Tweedledee I think it was«
»As to poetry you know« said Humpty Dumpty stretching out one of his
great hands »I can repeat poetry as well as other folk if it comes to that «
»Oh it neednt come to that« Alice hastily said hoping to keep him from
beginning
»The piece Im going to repeat« he went on without noticing her remark
»was written entirely for your amusement«
Alice felt that in that case she really ought to listen to it so she sat
down and said »Thank you« rather sadly
»In winter when the fields are white
I sing this song for your delight
only I dont sing it« he added as an explanation
»I see you dont« said Alice
»If you can see whether Im singing or not youve sharper eyes than most«
Humpty Dumpty remarked severely Alice was silent
»In spring when woods are getting green
Ill try and tell you what I mean«
»Thank you very much« said Alice
»In summer when the days are long
Perhaps youll understand the song
In autumn when the leaves are brown
Take pen and ink and write it down«
»I will if I can remember it so long« said Alice
»You neednt go on making remarks like that« Humpty Dumpty said »theyre
not sensible and they put me out«
»I sent a message to the fish
I told them This is what I wish
The little fishes of the sea
They sent an answer back to me
The little fishes answer was
We cannot do it Sir because «
»Im afraid I dont quite understand« said Alice
»It gets easier further on« Humpty Dumpty replied
»I sent to them again to say
It will be better to obey
The fishes answered with a grin
Why what a temper you are in
I told them once I told them twice
They would not listen to advice
I took a kettle large and new
Fit for the deed I had to do
My heart went hop my heart went thump
I filled the kettle at the pump
Then some one came to me and said
The little fishes are in bed
I said to him I said it plain
Then you must wake them up again
I said it very loud and clear
I went and shouted in his ear«
Humpty Dumpty raised his voice almost to a scream as he repeated this verse and
Alice thought with a shudder »I wouldnt have been the messenger for anything
«
»But he was very stiff and proud
He said You neednt shout so loud
And he was very proud and stiff
He said Id go and wake them if
I took a corkscrew from the shelf
I went to wake them up myself
And when I found the door was locked
I pulled and pushed and kicked and knocked
And when I found the door was shut
I tried to turn the handle but «
There was a long pause
»Is that all« Alice timidly asked
»Thats all« said Humpty Dumpty »Goodbye«
This was rather sudden Alice thought but after such a very strong hint
that she ought to be going she felt that it would hardly be civil to stay So
she got up and held out her hand »Goodbye till we meet again« she said as
cheerfully as she could
»I shouldnt know you again if we did meet« Humpty Dumpty replied in a
discontented tone giving her one of his fingers to shake »youre so exactly
like other people«
»The face is what one goes by generally« Alice remarked in a thoughtful
tone
»Thats just what I complain of« said Humpty Dumpty »Your face is the same
as everybody has the two eyes so « marking their places in the air with his
thumb »nose in the middle mouth under Its always the same Now if you had
the two eyes on the same side of the nose for instance or the mouth at the
top that would be some help«
»It wouldnt look nice« Alice objected But Humpty Dumpty only shut his
eyes and said »Wait till youve tried«
Alice waited a minute to see if he would speak again but as he never
opened his eyes or took any further notice of her she said »Goodbye« once
more and getting no answer to this she quietly walked away but she couldnt
help saying to herself as she went »of all the unsatisfactory « she repeated
this aloud as it was a great comfort to have such a long word to say »of all
the unsatisfactory people I ever met « She never finished the sentence for at
this moment a heavy crash shook the forest from end to end
Chapter VII
The Lion and the Unicorn
The next moment soldiers came running through the wood at first in twos and
threes then ten or twenty together and at last in such crowds that they seemed
to fill the whole forest Alice got behind a tree for fear of being run over
and watched them go by
She thought that in all her life she had never seen soldiers so uncertain on
their feet they were always tripping over something or other and whenever one
went down several more always fell over him so that the ground was soon
covered with little heaps of men
Then came the horses Having four feet these managed rather better than the
footsoldiers but even they stumbled now and then and it seemed to be a
regular rule that whenever a horse stumbled the rider fell off instantly The
confusion got worse every moment and Alice was very glad to get out of the wood
into an open place where she found the White King seated on the ground busily
writing in his memorandumbook
»Ive sent them all« the King cried in a tone of delight on seeing Alice
»Did you happen to meet any soldiers my dear as you came through the wood«
»Yes I did« said Alice »several thousand I should think«
»Four thousand two hundred and seven thats the exact number« the King
said referring to his book »I couldnt send all the horses you know because
two of them are wanted in the game And I havent sent the two Messengers
either Theyre both gone to the town Just look along the road and tell me if
you can see either of them«
»I see nobody on the road« said Alice
»I only wish I had such eyes« the King remarked in a fretful tone »To be
able to see Nobody And at that distance too Why its as much as I can do to
see real people by this light«
All this was lost on Alice who was still looking intently along the road
shading her eyes with one hand »I see somebody now« she exclaimed at last
»But hes coming very slowly and what curious attitudes he goes into« For
the Messenger kept skipping up and down and wriggling like an eel as he came
along with his great hands spread out like fans on each side
»Not at all« said the King »Hes an AngloSaxon Messenger and those are
AngloSaxon attitudes He only does them when hes happy His name is Haigha«
He pronounced it so as to rhyme with mayor
»I love my love with an H« Alice couldnt help beginning »because he is
Happy I hate him with an H because he is Hideous I fed him with with with
Hamsandwiches and Hay His name is Haigha and he lives «
»He lives on the Hill« the King remarked simply without the least idea
that he was joining in the game while Alice was still hesitating for the name
of a town beginning with H »The other Messengers called Hatta I must have
two you know to come and go One to come and one to go«
»I beg your pardon« said Alice
»It isnt respectable to beg« said the King
»I only meant that I didnt understand« said Alice »Why one to come and
one to go«
»Dont I tell you« the King repeated impatiently »I must have two to
fetch and carry One to fetch and one to carry«
At this moment the Messenger arrived he was far too much out of breath to
say a word and could only wave his hands about and make the most fearful faces
at the poor King
»This young lady loves you with an H« the King said introducing Alice in
the hope of turning off the Messengers attention from himself but it was of
no use the AngloSaxon attitudes only got more extraordinary every moment
while the great eyes rolled wildly from side to side
»You alarm me« said the King »I feel faint Give me a hamsandwich«
On which the Messenger to Alices great amusement opened a bag that hung
round his neck and handed a sandwich to the King who devoured it greedily
»Another sandwich« said the King
»Theres nothing but hay left now« the Messenger said peeping into the
bag
»Hay then« the King murmured in a faint whisper
Alice was glad to see that it revived him a good deal »Theres nothing like
eating hay when youre faint« he remarked to her as he munched away
»I should think throwing cold water over you would be better« Alice
suggested » or some salvolatile«
»I didnt say there was nothing better« the King replied »I said there was
nothing like it« Which Alice did not venture to deny
»Who did you pass on the road« the King went on holding out his hand to
the Messenger for some hay
»Nobody« said the Messenger
»Quite right« said the King »this young lady saw him too So of course
Nobody walks slower than you«
»I do my best« the Messenger said in a sullen tone »Im sure nobody walks
much faster than I do«
»He cant do that« said the King »or else hed have been here first
However now youve got your breath you may tell us whats happened in the
town«
»Ill whisper it« said the Messenger putting his hands to his mouth in the
shape of a trumpet and stooping so as to get close to the Kings ear Alice was
sorry for this as she wanted to hear the news too However instead of
whispering he simply shouted at the top of his voice »Theyre at it again«
»Do you call that a whisper« cried the poor King jumping up and shaking
himself »If you do such a thing again Ill have you buttered It went through
and through my head like an earthquake«
»It would have to be a very tiny earthquake« thought Alice »Who are at it
again« she ventured to ask
»Why the Lion and the Unicorn of course« said the King
»Fighting for the crown«
»Yes to be sure« said the King »and the best of the joke is that its my
crown all the while Lets run and see them« And they trotted off Alice
repeating to herself as she ran the words of the old song
»The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown
The Lion beat the Unicorn all round the town
Some gave them white bread some gave them brown
Some gave them plumcake and drummed them out of town«
»Does the one that wins get the crown« she asked as well as she
could for the run was putting her quite out of breath
»Dear me no« said the King »What an idea«
»Would you be good enough « Alice panted out after running a little
further »to stop a minute just to get ones breath again«
»Im good enough« the King said »only Im not strong enough You see a
minute goes by so fearfully quick You might as well try to stop a
Bandersnatch«
Alice had no more breath for talking so they trotted on in silence till
they came into sight of a great crowd in the middle of which the Lion and
Unicorn were fighting They were in such a cloud of dust that at first Alice
could not make out which was which but she soon managed to distinguish the
Unicorn by his horn
They placed themselves close to where Hatta the other Messenger was
standing watching the fight with a cup of tea in one hand and a piece of bread
in the other
»Hes only just out of prison and he hadnt finished his tea when he was
sent in« Haigha whispered to Alice »and they only give them oystershells in
there so you see hes very hungry and thirsty How are you dear child« he
went on putting his arm affectionately round Hattas neck
Hatta looked round and nodded and went on with his breadandbutter
»Were you happy in prison dear child« said Haigha
Hatta looked round once more and this time a tear or two trickled down his
cheek but not a word would he say
»Speak cant you« Haigha cried impatiently But Hatta only munched away
and drank some more tea
»Speak wont you« cried the King »How are they getting on with the
fight«
Hatta made a desperate effort and swallowed a large piece of
breadandbutter »Theyre getting on very well« he said in a choking voice
»each of them has been down about eightyseven times«
»Then I suppose theyll soon bring the white bread and the brown« Alice
ventured to remark
»Its waiting for em now« said Hatta »this is a bit of it as Im eating«
There was a pause in the fight just then and the Lion and the Unicorn sat
down panting while the King called out »Ten minutes allowed for refreshments«
Haigha and Hatta set to work at once carrying round trays of white and brown
bread Alice took a piece to taste but it was very dry
»I dont think theyll fight any more today« the King said to Hatta »go
and order the drums to begin« And Hatta went bounding away like a grasshopper
For a minute or two Alice stood silent watching him Suddenly she
brightened up »Look look« she cried pointing eagerly »Theres the White
Queen running across the country She came flying out of the wood over yonder
How fast those Queens can run«
»Theres some enemy after her no doubt« the King said without even
looking round »That woods full of them«
»But arent you going to run and help her« Alice asked very much surprised
at his taking it so quietly
»No use no use« said the King »She runs so fearfully quick You might as
well try to catch a Bandersnatch But Ill make a memorandum about her if you
like Shes a dear good creature« he repeated softly to himself as he opened
his memorandumbook »Do you spell creature with a double e«
At this moment the Unicorn sauntered by them with his hands in his pockets
»I had the best of it this time« he said to the King just glancing at him as
he passed
»A little a little« the King replied rather nervously »You shouldnt
have run him through with your horn you know«
»It didnt hurt him« the Unicorn said carelessly and he was going on when
his eye happened to fall upon Alice he turned round instantly and stood for
some time looking at her with an air of the deepest disgust
»What is this« he said at last
»This is a child« Haigha replied eagerly coming in front of Alice to
introduce her and spreading out both his hands towards her in an AngloSaxon
attitude »We only found it today Its as large as life and twice as
natural«
»I always thought they were fabulous monsters« said the Unicorn »Is it
alive«
»It can talk« said Haigha solemnly
The Unicorn looked dreamily at Alice and said »Talk child«
Alice could not help her lips curling up into a smile as she began »Do you
know I always thought Unicorns were fabulous monsters too I never saw one
alive before«
»Well now that we have seen each other« said the Unicorn »if youll
believe in me Ill believe in you Is that a bargain«
»Yes if you like« said Alice
»Come fetch out the plumcake old man« the Unicorn went on turning from
her to the King »None of your brown bread for me«
»Certainly certainly« the King muttered and beckoned to Haigha »Open
the bag« he whispered »Quick Not that one thats full of hay«
Haigha took a large cake out of the bag and gave it to Alice to hold while
he got out a dish and carvingknife How they all came out of it Alice couldnt
guess It was just like a conjuringtrick she thought
The Lion had joined them while this was going on he looked very tired and
sleepy and his eyes were half shut »Whats this« he said blinking lazily at
Alice and speaking in a deep hollow tone that sounded like the tolling of a
great bell
»Ah what is it now« the Unicorn cried eagerly »Youll never guess I
couldnt«
The Lion looked at Alice wearily »Are you animal or vegetable or
mineral« he said yawning at every other word
»Its a fabulous monster« the Unicorn cried out before Alice could reply
»Then hand round the plumcake Monster« the Lion said lying down and
putting his chin on his paws »And sit down both of you« to the King and the
Unicorn »fair play with the cake you know«
The King was evidently very uncomfortable at having to sit down between the
two great creatures but there was no other place for him
»What a fight we might have for the crown now« the Unicorn said looking
slyly up at the crown which the poor King was nearly shaking off his head he
trembled so much
»I should win easy« said the Lion
»Im not so sure of that« said the Unicorn
»Why I beat you all round the town you chicken« the Lion replied angrily
half getting up as he spoke
Here the King interrupted to prevent the quarrel going on he was very
nervous and his voice quite quivered »All round the town« he said »Thats a
good long way Did you go by the old bridge or the marketplace You get the
best view by the old bridge«
»Im sure I dont know« the Lion growled out as he lay down again »There
was too much dust to see anything What a time the Monster is cutting up that
cake«
Alice had seated herself on the bank of a little brook with the great dish
on her knees and was sawing away diligently with the knife »Its very
provoking« she said in reply to the Lion she was getting quite used to being
called the Monster »Ive cut several slices already but they always join on
again«
»You dont know how to manage Lookingglass cakes« the Unicorn remarked
»Hand it round first and cut it afterwards«
This sounded nonsense but Alice very obediently got up and carried the
dish round and the cake divided itself into three pieces as she did so »Now
cut it up« said the Lion as she returned to her place with the empty dish
»I say this isnt fair« cried the Unicorn as Alice sat with the knife in
her hand very much puzzled how to begin »The Monster has given the Lion twice
as much as me«
»Shes kept none for herself anyhow« said the Lion »Do you like
plumcake Monster«
But before Alice could answer him the drums began
Where the noise came from she couldnt make out the air seemed full of it
and it rang through and through her head till she felt quite deafened She
started to her feet and sprang across the little brook in her terror and had
just time to see the Lion and the Unicorn rise to their feet with angry looks
at being interrupted in their feast before she dropped to her knees and put
her hands over her ears vainly trying to shut out the dreadful uproar
»If that doesnt drum them out of town« she thought to herself »nothing
ever will«
Chapter VIII
»Its My Own Invention«
After a while the noise seemed gradually to die away till all was dead silence
and Alice lifted up her head in some alarm There was no one to be seen and her
first thought was that she must have been dreaming about the Lion and the
Unicorn and those queer AngloSaxon Messengers However there was the great
dish still lying at her feet on which she had tried to cut the plumcake »So I
wasnt dreaming after all« she said to herself »unless unless were all
part of the same dream Only I do hope its my dream and not the Red Kings I
dont like belonging to another persons dream« she went on in a rather
complaining tone »Ive a great mind to go and wake him and see what happens«
At this moment her thoughts were interrupted by a loud shouting of »Ahoy
Ahoy Check« and a Knight dressed in crimson armour came galloping down upon
her brandishing a great club Just as he reached her the horse stopped
suddenly »Youre my prisoner« the Knight cried as he tumbled off his horse
Startled as she was Alice was more frightened for him than for herself at
the moment and watched him with some anxiety as he mounted again As soon as he
was comfortably in the saddle he began once more »Youre my « but here another
voice broke in »Ahoy Ahoy Check« and Alice looked round in some surprise for
the new enemy
This time it was a White Knight He drew up at Alices side and tumbled off
his horse just as the Red Knight had done then he got on again and the two
Knights sat and looked at each other for some time without speaking Alice
looked from one to the other in some bewilderment
»Shes my prisoner you know« the Red Knight said at last
»Yes but then I came and rescued her« the White Knight replied
»Well we must fight for her then« said the Red Knight as he took up his
helmet which hung from the saddle and was something the shape of a horses
head and put it on
»You will observe the Rules of Battle of course« the White Knight
remarked putting on his helmet too
»I always do« said the Red Knight and they began banging away at each
other with such fury that Alice got behind a tree to be out of the way of the
blows
»I wonder now what the Rules of Battle are« she said to herself as she
watched the fight timidly peeping out from her hidingplace »One Rule seems to
be that if one Knight hits the other he knocks him off his horse and if he
misses he tumbles off himself and another Rule seems to be that they hold
their clubs with their arms as if they were Punch and Judy What a noise they
make when they tumble Just like a whole set of fireirons falling into the
fender And how quiet the horses are They let them get on and off them just as
if they were tables«
Another Rule of Battle that Alice had not noticed seemed to be that they
always fell on their heads and the battle ended with their both falling off in
this way side by side When they got up again they shook hands and then the
Red Knight mounted and galloped off
»It was a glorious victory wasnt it« said the White Knight as he came up
panting
»I dont know« Alice said doubtfully »I dont want to be anybodys
prisoner I want to be a Queen«
»So you will when youve crossed the next brook« said the White Knight
»Ill see you safe to the end of the wood and then I must go back you know
Thats the end of my move«
»Thank you very much« said Alice »May I help you off with your helmet« It
was evidently more than he could manage by himself however she managed to
shake him out of it at last
»Now one can breathe more easily« said the Knight putting back his shaggy
hair with both hands and turning his gentle face and large mild eyes to Alice
She thought she had never seen such a strangelooking soldier in all her life
He was dressed in tin armour which seemed to fit him very badly and he had
a queershaped little deal box fastened across his shoulders upsidedown and
with the lid hanging open Alice looked at it with great curiosity
»I see youre admiring my little box« the Knight said in a friendly tone
»Its my own invention to keep clothes and sandwiches in You see I carry it
upsidedown so that the rain cant get in«
»But the things can get out« Alice gently remarked »Do you know the lids
open«
»I didnt know it« the Knight said a shade of vexation passing over his
face »Then all the things must have fallen out And the box is no use without
them« He unfastened it as he spoke and was just going to throw it into the
bushes when a sudden thought seemed to strike him and he hung it carefully on
a tree »Can you guess why I did that« he said to Alice
Alice shook her head
»In hopes some bees may make a nest in it then I should get the honey«
»But youve got a beehive or something like one fastened to the
saddle« said Alice
»Yes its a very good beehive« the Knight said in a discontented tone
»one of the best kind But not a single bee has come near it yet And the other
thing is a mousetrap I suppose the mice keep the bees out or the bees keep
the mice out I dont know which«
»I was wondering what the mousetrap was for« said Alice »It isnt very
likely there would be any mice on the horses back«
»Not very likely perhaps« said the Knight »but if they do come I dont
choose to have them running all about«
»You see« he went on after a pause »its as well to be provided for
everything Thats the reason the horse has all those anklets round his feet«
»But what are they for« Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity
»To guard against the bites of sharks« the Knight replied »Its an
invention of my own And now help me on Ill go with you to the end of the wood
Whats that dish for«
»Its meant for plumcake« said Alice
»Wed better take it with us« the Knight said »Itll come in handy if we
find any plumcake Help me to get it into this bag«
This took a long time to manage though Alice held the bag open very
carefully because the Knight was so very awkward in putting in the dish the
first two or three times that he tried he fell in himself instead »Its rather
a tight fit you see« he said as they got it in at last »there are so many
candlesticks in the bag« And he hung it to the saddle which was already loaded
with bunches of carrots and fireirons and many other things
»I hope youve got your hair well fastened on« he continued as they set
off
»Only in the usual way« Alice said smiling
»Thats hardly enough« he said anxiously »You see the wind is so very
strong here Its as strong as soup«
»Have you invented a plan for keeping the hair from being blown off« Alice
enquired
»Not yet« said the Knight »But Ive got a plan for keeping it from falling
off«
»I should like to hear it very much«
»First you take an upright stick« said the Knight »Then you make your hair
creep up it like a fruittree Now the reason hair falls off is because it
hangs down things never fall upwards you know Its a plan of my own
invention You may try it if you like«
It didnt sound a comfortable plan Alice thought and for a few minutes she
walked on in silence puzzling over the idea and every now and then stopping to
help the poor Knight who certainly was not a good rider
Whenever the horse stopped which it did very often he fell off in front
and whenever it went on again which it generally did rather suddenly he fell
off behind Otherwise he kept on pretty well except that he had a habit of now
and then falling off sideways and as he generally did this on the side on
which Alice was walking she soon found that it was the best plan not to walk
quite close to the horse
»Im afraid youve not had much practice in riding« she ventured to say as
she was helping him up from his fifth tumble
The Knight looked very much surprised and a little offended at the remark
»What makes you say that« he asked as he scrambled back into the saddle
keeping hold of Alices hair with one hand to save himself from falling over on
the other side
»Because people dont fall off quite so often when theyve had much
practice«
»Ive had plenty of practice« the Knight said very gravely »plenty of
practice«
Alice could think of nothing better to say than »Indeed« but she said it as
heartily as she could They went on a little way in silence after this the
Knight with his eyes shut muttering to himself and Alice watching anxiously
for the next tumble
»The great art of riding« the Knight suddenly began in a loud voice waving
his right arm as he spoke »is to keep « Here the sentence ended as suddenly as
it had begun as the Knight fell heavily on the top of his head exactly in the
path where Alice was walking She was quite frightened this time and said in an
anxious tone as she picked him up »I hope no bones are broken«
»None to speak of« the Knight said as if he didnt mind breaking two or
three of them »The great art of riding as I was saying is to keep your
balance properly Like this you know «
He let go the bridle and stretched out both his arms to show Alice what he
meant and this time he fell flat on his back right under the horses feet
»Plenty of practice« he went on repeating all the time that Alice was
getting him on his feet again »Plenty of practice«
»Its too ridiculous« cried Alice losing all her patience this time »You
ought to have a wooden horse on wheels that you ought«
»Does that kind go smoothly« the Knight asked in a tone of great interest
clasping his arms round the horses neck as he spoke just in time to save
himself from tumbling off again
»Much more smoothly than a live horse« Alice said with a little scream of
laughter in spite of all she could do to prevent it
»Ill get one« the Knight said thoughtfully to himself »One or two
several«
There was a short silence after this and then the Knight went on again
»Im a great hand at inventing things Now I daresay you noticed the last time
you picked me up that I was looking rather thoughtful«
»You were a little grave« said Alice
»Well just then I was inventing a new way of getting over a gate would
you like to hear it«
»Very much indeed« Alice said politely
»Ill tell you how I came to think of it« said the Knight »You see I said
to myself The only difficulty is with the feet the head is high enough already
Now first I put my head on the top of the gate then the heads high enough
then I stand on my head then the feet are high enough you see then Im
over you see«
»Yes I suppose youd be over when that was done« Alice said thoughtfully
»but dont you think it would be rather hard«
»I havent tried it yet« the Knight said gravely »so I cant tell for
certain but Im afraid it would be a little hard«
He looked so vexed at the idea that Alice changed the subject hastily
»What a curious helmet youve got« she said cheerfully »Is that your invention
too«
The Knight looked down proudly at his helmet which hung from the saddle
»Yes« he said »but Ive invented a better one than that like a sugarloaf
When I used to wear it if I fell off the horse it always touched the ground
directly So I had a very little way to fall you see But there was the danger
of falling into it to be sure That happened to me once and the worst of it
was before I could get out again the other White Knight came and put it on He
thought it was his own helmet«
The Knight looked so solemn about it that Alice did not dare to laugh »Im
afraid you must have hurt him« she said in a trembling voice »being on the top
of his head«
»I had to kick him of course« the Knight said very seriously »And then
he took the helmet off again but it took hours and hours to get me out I was
as fast as as lightning you know«
»But thats a different kind of fastness« Alice objected
The Knight shook his head »It was all kinds of fastness with me I can
assure you« he said He raised his hands in some excitement as he said this
and instantly rolled out of the saddle and fell headlong into a deep ditch
Alice ran to the side of the ditch to look for him She was rather startled
by the fall as for some time he had kept on very well and she was afraid that
he really was hurt this time However though she could see nothing but the
soles of his feet she was much relieved to hear that he was talking on in his
usual tone »All kinds of fastness« he repeated »but it was careless of him to
put another mans helmet on with the man in it too«
»How can you go on talking so quietly head downwards« Alice asked as she
dragged him out by the feet and laid him in a heap on the bank
The Knight looked surprised at the question »What does it matter where my
body happens to be« he said »My mind goes on working all the same In fact
the more headdownwards I am the more I keep inventing new things«
»Now the cleverest thing of the sort that I ever did« he went on after a
pause »was inventing a new pudding during the meatcourse«
»In time to have it cooked for the next course« said Alice »Well that was
quick work certainly«
»Well not the next course« the Knight said in slow thoughtful tone »no
certainly not the next course«
»Then it would have to be the next day I suppose you wouldnt have two
puddingcourses in one dinner«
»Well not the next day« the Knight repeated as before »not the next day
In fact« he went on holding his head down and his voice getting lower and
lower »I dont believe that pudding ever was cooked In fact I dont believe
that pudding ever will be cooked And yet it was a very clever pudding to
invent«
»What did you mean it to be made of« Alice asked hoping to cheer him up
for the poor Knight seemed quite lowspirited about it
»It began with blottingpaper« the Knight answered with a groan
»That wouldnt be very nice Im afraid «
»Not very nice alone« he interrupted quite eagerly »but youve no idea
what a difference it makes mixing it with other things such as gunpowder and
sealingwax And here I must leave you« They had just come to the end of the
wood
Alice could only look puzzled she was thinking of the pudding
»You are sad« the Knight said in an anxious tone »let me sing you a song
to comfort you«
»Is it very long« Alice asked for she had heard a good deal of poetry that
day
»Its long« said the Knight »but its very very beautiful Everybody that
hears me sing it either it brings the tears into their eyes or else «
»Or else what« said Alice for the Knight had made a sudden pause
»Or else it doesnt you know The name of the song is called Haddocks
Eyes«
»Oh thats the name of the song is it« Alice said trying to feel
interested
»No you dont understand« the Knight said looking a little vexed »Thats
what the name is called The name really is The Aged Aged Man«
»Then I ought to have said Thats what the song is called« Alice corrected
herself
»No you oughtnt thats quite another thing The song is called Ways and
Means but thats only what its called you know«
»Well what is the song then« said Alice who was by this time completely
bewildered
»I was coming to that« the Knight said »The song really is Asitting On A
Gate and the tunes my own invention«
So saying he stopped his horse and let the reins fall on its neck then
slowly beating time with one hand and with a faint smile lighting up his gentle
foolish face as if he enjoyed the music of his song he began
Of all the strange things that Alice saw in her journey Through The
LookingGlass this was the one that she always remembered most clearly Years
afterwards she could bring the whole scene back again as if it had been only
yesterday the mild blue eyes and kindly smile of the Knight the setting sun
gleaming through his hair and shining on his armour in a blaze of light that
quite dazzled her the horse quietly moving about with the reins hanging loose
on his neck cropping the grass at her feet and the black shadows of the
forest behind all this she took in like a picture as with one hand shading
her eyes she leant against a tree watching the strange pair and listening in
a halfdream to the melancholy music of the song
»But the tune isnt his own invention« she said to herself »its I give
thee all I can no more« She stood and listened very attentively but no tears
came into her eyes
»Ill tell thee everything I can
Theres little to relate
I saw an aged aged man
Asitting on a gate
Who are you aged man I said
And how is it you live
And his answer trickled through my head
Like water through a sieve
He said I look for butterflies
That sleep among the wheat
I make them into muttonpies
And sell them in the street
I sell them unto men he said
Who sail on stormy seas
And thats the way I get my bread
A trifle if you please
But I was thinking of a plan
To dye ones whiskers green
And always use so large a fan
That they could not be seen
So having no reply to give
To what the old man said
I cried Come tell me how you live
And thumped him on the head
His accents mild took up the tale
He said I go my ways
And when I find a mountainrill
I set it in a blaze
And thence they make a stuff they call
Rowlands MacassarOil
Yet twopencehalfpenny is all
They give me for my toil
But I was thinking of a way
To feed oneself on batter
And so go on from day to day
Getting a little fatter
I shook him well from side to side
Until his face was blue
Come tell me how you live I cried
And what it is you do
He said I hunt for haddocks eyes
Among the heather bright
And work them into waistcoatbuttons
In the silent night
And these I do not sell for gold
Or coin of silvery shine
But for a copper halfpenny
And that will purchase nine
I sometimes dig for buttered rolls
Or set limed twigs for crabs
I sometimes search for grassy knolls
For wheels of Hansomcabs
And thats the way he gave a wink
By which I get my wealth
And very gladly will I drink
Your Honours noble health
I heard him then for I had just
Completed my design
To keep the Menai bridge from rust
By boiling it in wine
I thanked him much for telling me
The way he got his wealth
But chiefly for his wish that he
Might drink my noble health
And now if eer by chance I put
My fingers into glue
Or madly squeeze a righthand foot
Into a lefthand shoe
Or if I drop upon my toe
A very heavy weight
I weep for it reminds me so
Of that old man I used to know
Whose look was mild whose speech was slow
Whose hair was whiter than the snow
Whose face was very like a crow
With eyes like cinders all aglow
Who seemed distracted with his woe
Who rocked his body to and fro
And muttered mumblingly and low
As if his mouth were full of dough
Who snorted like a buffalo
That summer evening long ago
Asitting on a gate«
As the Knight sang the last words of the ballad he gathered up the reins and
turned his horses head along the road by which they had come »Youve only a
few yards to go« he said »down the hill and over that little brook and then
youll be a Queen But youll stay and see me off first« he added as Alice
turned with an eager look in the direction to which he pointed »I shant be
long Youll wait and wave your handkerchief when I get to that turn in the
road I think itll encourage me you see«
»Of course Ill wait« said Alice »and thank you very much for coming so
far and for the song I liked it very much«
»I hope so« the Knight said doubtfully »but you didnt cry so much as I
thought you would«
So they shook hands and then the Knight rode slowly away into the forest
»It wont take long to see him off I expect« Alice said to herself as she
stood watching him »There he goes Right on his head as usual However he gets
on again pretty easily that comes of having so many things hung round the
horse « So she went on talking to herself as she watched the horse walking
leisurely along the road and the Knight tumbling off first on one side and
then on the other After the fourth or fifth tumble he reached the turn and
then she waved her handkerchief to him and waited till he was out of sight
»I hope it encouraged him« she said as she turned to run down the hill
»and now for the last brook and to be a Queen How grand it sounds« A very few
steps brought her to the edge of the brook »The Eighth Square at last« she
cried as she bounded
across and threw herself down to rest on a lawn as soft as moss with little
flowerbeds dotted about it here and there »Oh how glad I am to get here And
what is this on my head« she exclaimed in a tone of dismay as she put her
hands up to something very heavy that fitted tight all around her head
»But how can it have got there without my knowing it« she said to herself
as she lifted it off and set it on her lap to make out what it could possibly
be
It was a golden crown
Chapter IX
Queen Alice
»Well this is grand« said Alice »I never expected I should be a Queen so soon
and Ill tell you what it is your Majesty« she went on in a severe tone
she was always rather fond of scolding herself »Itll never do for you to be
lolling about on the grass like that Queens have to be dignified you know«
So she got up and walked about rather stiffly just at first as she was
afraid that the crown might come off but she comforted herself with the thought
that there was nobody to see her »and if I really am a Queen« she said as she
sat down again »I shall be able to manage it quite well in time«
Everything was happening so oddly that she didnt feel a bit surprised at
finding the Red Queen and the White Queen sitting close to her one on each
side she would have liked very much to ask them how they came there but she
feared it would not be quite civil However there would be no harm she
thought in asking if the game was over »Please would you tell me « she
began looking timidly at the Red Queen
»Speak when youre spoken to« the Queen sharply interrupted her
»But if everybody obeyed that rule« said Alice who was always ready for a
little argument »and if you only spoke when you were spoken to and the other
person always waited for you to begin you see nobody would ever say anything
so that «
»Ridiculous« cried the Queen »Why dont you see child « here she broke
off with a frown and after thinking for a minute suddenly changed the subject
of the conversation »What do you mean by If you really are a Queen What right
have you to call yourself so You cant be a Queen you know till youve
passed the proper examination And the sooner we begin it the better«
»I only said if« poor Alice pleaded in a piteous tone
The two Queens looked at each other and the Red Queen remarked with a
little shudder »She says she only said if «
»But she said a great deal more than that« the White Queen moaned wringing
her hands »Oh ever so much more than that«
»So you did you know« the Red Queen said to Alice »Always speak the truth
think before you speak and write it down afterwards«
»Im sure I didnt mean « Alice was beginning but the Red Queen
interrupted her impatiently
»Thats just what I complain of You should have meant What do you suppose
is the use of a child without any meaning Even a joke should have some meaning
and a childs more important than a joke I hope You couldnt deny that even
if you tried with both hands«
»I dont deny things with my hands« Alice objected
»Nobody said you did« said the Red Queen »I said you couldnt if you
tried«
»Shes in that state of mind« said the White Queen »that she wants to deny
something only she doesnt know what to deny«
»A nasty vicious temper« the Red Queen remarked and then there was an
uncomfortable silence for a minute or two
The Red Queen broke the silence by saying to the White Queen »I invite you
to Alices dinnerparty this afternoon«
The White Queen smiled feebly and said »And I invite you«
»I didnt know I was to have a party at all« said Alice »but if there is
to be one I think I ought to invite the guests«
»We gave you the opportunity of doing it« the Red Queen remarked »but I
daresay youve not had many lessons in manners yet«
»Manners are not taught in lessons« said Alice »Lessons teach you to do
sums and things of that sort«
»Can you do Addition« the White Queen asked »Whats one and one and one
and one and one and one and one and one and one and one«
»I dont know« said Alice »I lost count«
»She cant do Addition« the Red Queen interrupted »Can you do
Subtraction Take nine from eight«
»Nine from eight I cant you know« Alice replied very readily »but «
»She cant do Subtraction« said the White Queen »Can you do Division
Divide a loaf by a knife whats the answer to that«
»I suppose « Alice was beginning but the Red Queen answered for her
»Breadandbutter of course Try another Subtraction sum Take a bone from a
dog what remains«
Alice considered »The bone wouldnt remain of course if I took it and
the dog wouldnt remain it would come to bite me and Im sure I shouldnt
remain«
»Then you think nothing would remain« said the Red Queen
»I think thats the answer«
»Wrong as usual« said the Red Queen »the dogs temper would remain«
»But I dont see how «
»Why look here« the Red Queen cried »The dog would lose its temper
wouldnt it«
»Perhaps it would« Alice replied cautiously
»Then if the dog went away its temper would remain« the Queen exclaimed
triumphantly
Alice said as gravely as she could »They might go different ways« But she
couldnt help thinking to herself »What dreadful nonsense we are talking«
»She cant do sums a bit« the Queens said together with great emphasis
»Can you do sums« Alice said turning suddenly on the White Queen for she
didnt like being found fault with so much
The Queen gasped and shut her eyes »I can do Addition« she said »if you
give me time but I cant do Subtraction under any circumstances«
»Of course you know your ABC« said the Red Queen
»To be sure I do« said Alice
»So do I« the White Queen whispered »well often say it over together
dear And Ill tell you a secret I can read words of one letter Isnt that
grand However dont be discouraged Youll come to it in time«
Here the Red Queen began again »Can you answer useful questions« she said
»How is bread made«
»I know that« Alice cried eagerly »You take some flour «
»Where do you pick the flower« the White Queen asked »In a garden or in
the hedges«
»Well it isnt picked at all« Alice explained »its ground «
»How many acres of ground« said the White Queen »You mustnt leave out so
many things«
»Fan her head« the Red Queen anxiously interrupted »Shell be feverish
after so much thinking« So they set to work and fanned her with bunches of
leaves till she had to beg them to leave off it blew her hair about so
»Shes all right again now« said the Red Queen »Do you know Languages
Whats the French for fiddlededee«
»Fiddlededees not English« Alice replied gravely
»Who ever said it was« said the Red Queen
Alice thought she saw a way out of the difficulty this time »If youll
tell me what language fiddlededee is Ill tell you the French for it« she
exclaimed triumphantly
But the Red Queen drew herself up rather stiffly and said »Queens never
make bargains«
»I wish Queens never asked questions« Alice thought to herself
»Dont let us quarrel« the White Queen said in an anxious tone »What is
the cause of lightning«
»The cause of lightning« Alice said very decidedly for she felt quite
certain about this »is the thunder no no« she hastily corrected herself »I
meant the other way«
»Its too late to correct it« said the Red Queen »when youve once said a
thing that fixes it and you must take the consequences«
»Which reminds me « the White Queen said looking down and nervously
clasping and unclasping her hands »we had such a thunderstorm last Tuesday I
mean one of the last set of Tuesdays you know«
Alice was puzzled »In our country« she remarked »theres only one day at
a time«
The Red Queen said »Thats a poor thin way of doing things Now here we
mostly have days and nights two or three at a time and sometimes in the winter
we take as many as five nights together for warmth you know«
»Are five nights warmer than one night then« Alice ventured to ask
»Five times as warm of course«
»But they should be five times as cold by the same rule «
»Just so« cried the Red Queen »Five times as warm and five times as cold
just as Im five times as rich as you are and five times as clever«
Alice sighed and gave it up »Its exactly like the riddle with no answer«
she thought
»Humpty Dumpty saw it too« the White Queen went on in a low voice more as
if she were talking to herself »He came to the door with a corkscrew in his
hand «
»What did he want« said the Red Queen
»He said he would come in« the White Queen went on »because he was looking
for a hippopotamus Now as it happened there wasnt such a thing in the house
that morning«
»Is there generally« Alice asked in an astonished tone
»Well only on Thursdays« said the Queen
»I know what he came for« said Alice »he wanted to punish the fish
because «
Here the White Queen began again »It was such a thunderstorm you cant
think« »She never could you know« said the Red Queen »And part of the roof
came off and ever so much thunder got in and it went rolling round the room
in great lumps and knocking over the tables and things till I was so
frightened I couldnt remember my own name«
Alice thought to herself »I never should try to remember my name in the
middle of an accident Where would be the use of it« but she did not say this
aloud for fear of hurting the poor Queens feelings
»Your Majesty must excuse her« the Red Queen said to Alice taking one of
the White Queens hands in her own and gently stroking it »she means well but
she cant help saying foolish things as a general rule«
The White Queen looked timidly at Alice who felt she ought to say something
kind but really couldnt think of anything at the moment
»She never was really well brought up« the Red Queen went on »but its
amazing how goodtempered she is Pat her on the head and see how pleased
shell be« But this was more than Alice had courage to do
»A little kindness and putting her hair in papers would do wonders with
her «
The White Queen gave a deep sigh and laid her head on Alices shoulder »I
am so sleepy« she moaned
»Shes tired poor thing« said the Red Queen »Smoothe her hair lend her
your nightcap and sing her a soothing lullaby«
»I havent got a nightcap with me« said Alice as she tried to obey the
first direction »and I dont know any soothing lullabies«
»I must do it myself then« said the Red Queen and she began
»Hushaby lady in Alices lap
Till the feasts ready weve time for a nap
When the feasts over well go to the ball
Red Queen and White Queen and Alice and all«
»And now you know the words« she added as she put her head down on Alices
other shoulder »just sing it through to me Im getting sleepy too« In
another moment both Queens were fast asleep and snoring loud
»What am I to do« exclaimed Alice looking about in great perplexity as
first one round head and then the other rolled down from her shoulder and lay
like a heavy lump in her lap »I dont think it ever happened before that any
one had to take care of two Queens asleep at once No not in all the History of
England it couldnt you know because there never was more than one Queen at
a time Do wake up you heavy things« she went on in an impatient tone but
there was no answer but a gentle snoring
The snoring got more distinct every minute and sounded more like a tune at
last she could even make out words and she listened so eagerly that when the
two great heads suddenly vanished from her lap she hardly missed them
She was standing before an arched doorway over which were the words »QUEEN
ALICE« in large letters and on each side of the arch there was a bellhandle
one was marked »Visitors Bell« and the other »Servants Bell«
»Ill wait till the songs over« thought Alice »and then Ill ring the
the which bell must I ring« she went on very much puzzled by the names »Im
not a visitor and Im not a servant There ought to be one marked Queen you
know «
Just then the door opened a little way and a creature with a long beak put
its head out for a moment and said »No admittance till the week after next« and
shut the door again with a bang
Alice knocked and rang in vain for a long time but at last a very old Frog
who was sitting under a tree got up and hobbled slowly towards her he was
dressed in bright yellow and had enormous boots on
»What is it now« the Frog said in a deep hoarse whisper
Alice turned round ready to find fault with anybody »Wheres the servant
whose business it is to answer the door« she began angrily
»Which door« said the Frog
Alice almost stamped with irritation at the slow drawl in which he spoke »
This door of course«
The Frog looked at the door with his large dull eyes for a minute then he
went nearer and rubbed it with his thumb as if he were trying whether the paint
would come off then he looked at Alice
»To answer the door« he said »Whats it been asking of« He was so hoarse
that Alice could scarcely hear him
»I dont know what you mean« she said
»I speaks English doesnt I« the Frog went on »Or are you deaf What did
it ask you«
»Nothing« Alice said impatiently »Ive been knocking at it«
»Shouldnt do that shouldnt do that « the Frog muttered »Wexes it you
know« Then he went up and gave the door a kick with one of his great feet »You
let it alone« he panted out as he hobbled back to his tree »and itll let you
alone you know«
At this moment the door was flung open and a shrill voice was heard
singing
»To the LookingGlass world it was Alice that said
Ive a sceptre in hand Ive a crown on my head
Let the LookingGlass creatures whatever they be
Come and dine with the Red Queen the White Queen and me«
And hundreds of voices joined in the chorus
»Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can
And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran
Put cats in the coffee and mice in the tea
And welcome Queen Alice with thirtytimesthree«
Then followed a confused noise of cheering and Alice thought to herself »Thirty
times three makes ninety I wonder if any ones counting« In a minute there was
silence again and the same shrill voice sang another verse
»O LookingGlass creatures quoth Alice draw near
Tis an honour to see me a favour to hear
Tis a privilege high to have dinner and tea
Along with the Red Queen the White Queen and me«
Then came the chorus again
»Then fill up the glasses with treacle and ink
Or anything else that is pleasant to drink
Mix sand with the cider and wool with the wine
And welcome Queen Alice with ninetytimesnine«
»Ninety times nine« Alice repeated in despair »Oh thatll never be done Id
better go in at once « and in she went and there was a dead silence the moment
she appeared
Alice glanced nervously along the table as she walked up the large hall
and noticed that there were about fifty guests of all kinds some were animals
some birds and there were even a few flowers among them »Im glad theyve come
without waiting to be asked« she thought »I should never have known who were
the right people to invite«
There were three chairs at the head of the table the Red and White Queens
had already taken two of them but the middle one was empty Alice sat down in
it rather uncomfortable at the silence and longing for some one to speak
At last the Red Queen began »Youve missed the soup and fish« she said
»Put on the joint« And the waiters set a leg of mutton before Alice who looked
at it rather anxiously as she had never had to carve a joint before
»You look a little shy let me introduce you to that leg of mutton« said
the Red Queen »Alice Mutton Mutton Alice« The leg of mutton got up in
the dish and made a little bow to Alice and Alice returned the bow not knowing
whether to be frightened or amused
»May I give you a slice« she said taking up the knife and fork and
looking from one Queen to the other
»Certainly not« the Red Queen said very decidedly »it isnt etiquette to
cut any one youve been introduced to Remove the joint« And the waiters
carried it off and brought a large plumpudding in its place
»I wont be introduced to the pudding please« Alice said rather hastily
»or we shall get no dinner at all May I give you some«
But the Red Queen looked sulky and growled »Pudding Alice Alice
Pudding Remove the pudding« and the waiters took it away so quickly that Alice
couldnt return its bow
However she didnt see why the Red Queen should be the only one to give
orders so as an experiment she called out »Waiter Bring back the pudding«
and there it was again in a moment like a conjuringtrick It was so large that
she couldnt help feeling a little shy with it as she had been with the mutton
however she conquered her shyness by a great effort and cut a slice and handed
it to the Red Queen
»What impertinence« said the Pudding »I wonder how youd like it if I
were to cut a slice out of you you creature«
It spoke in a thick suety sort of voice and Alice hadnt a word to say in
reply she could only sit and look at it and gasp
»Make a remark« said the Red Queen »its ridiculous to leave all the
conversation to the pudding«
»Do you know Ive had such a quantity of poetry repeated to me today«
Alice began a little frightened at finding that the moment she opened her
lips there was dead silence and all eyes were fixed upon her »and its a very
curious thing I think every poem was about fishes in some way Do you know
why theyre so fond of fishes all about here«
She spoke to the Red Queen whose answer was a little wide of the mark »As
to fishes« she said very slowly and solemnly putting her mouth close to
Alices ear »her White Majesty knows a lovely riddle all in poetry all
about fishes Shall she repeat it«
»Her Red Majestys very kind to mention it« the White Queen murmured into
Alices other ear in a voice like the cooing of a pigeon »It would be such a
treat May I«
»Please do« Alice said very politely
The White Queen laughed with delight and stroked Alices cheek Then she
began
»First the fish must be caught
That is easy a baby I think could have caught it
Next the fish must be bought
That is easy a penny I think could have bought it
Now cook me the fish
That is easy and will not take more than a minute
Let it lie in a dish
That is easy because it already is in it
Bring it here Let me sup
It is easy to set such a dish on the table
Take the dishcover up
Ah that is so hard that I fear Im unable
For it holds it like glue
Holds the lid to the dish while it lies in the middle
Which is easiest to do
Undishcover the fish or dishcover the riddle«
»Take a minute to think about it and then guess« said the Red Queen
»Meanwhile well drink your health Queen Alices health« she screamed at the
top of her voice and all the guests began drinking it directly and very
queerly they managed it some of them put their glasses upon their heads like
extinguishers and drank all that trickled down their faces others upset the
decanters and drank the wine as it ran off the edges of the table and three
of them who looked like kangaroos scrambled into the dish of roast mutton and
began eagerly lapping up the gravy »just like pigs in a trough« thought Alice
»You ought to return thanks in a neat speech« the Red Queen said frowning
at Alice as she spoke
»We must support you you know« the White Queen whispered as Alice got up
to do it very obediently but a little frightened
»Thank you very much« she whispered in reply »but I can do quite well
without«
»That wouldnt be at all the thing« the Red Queen said very decidedly so
Alice tried to submit to it with good grace
»And they did push so« she said afterwards when she was telling her
sister the history of her feast »You would have thought they wanted to squeeze
me flat«
In fact it was rather difficult for her to keep in her place while she made
her speech the two Queens pushed her so one on each side that they nearly
lifted her up into the air »I rise to return thanks « Alice began and she
really did rise as she spoke several inches but she got hold of the edge of
the table and managed to pull herself down again
»Take care of yourself« screamed the White Queen seizing Alices hair with
both her hands »Somethings going to happen«
And then as Alice afterwards described it all sorts of things happened in
a moment The candles all grew up to the ceiling looking something like a bed
of rushes with fireworks at the top As to the bottles they each took a pair of
plates which they hastily fitted on as wings and so with fork for legs went
fluttering about in all directions »and very like birds they look« Alice
thought to herself as well as she could in the dreadful confusion that was
beginning
At this moment she heard a hoarse laugh at her side and turned to see what
was the matter with the White Queen but instead of the Queen there was the
leg of mutton sitting in the chair »Here I am« cried a voice from the
souptureen and Alice turned again just in time to see the Queens broad
goodnatured face grinning at her for a moment over the edge of the tureen
before she disappeared into the soup
There was not a moment to be lost Already several of the guests were lying
down in the dishes and the soup ladle was walking up the table towards Alices
chair and beckoning to her impatiently to get out of its way
»I cant stand this any longer« she cried as she jumped up and seized the
tablecloth with both hands one good pull and plates dishes guests and
candles came crashing down together in a heap on the floor
»And as for you« she went on turning fiercely upon the Red Queen whom she
considered as the cause of all the mischief but the Queen was no longer at her
side she had suddenly dwindled down to the size of a little doll and was now
on the table merrily running round and round after her own shawl which was
trailing behind her
At any other time Alice would have felt surprised at this but she was far
too much excited to be surprised at anything now »As for you« she repeated
catching hold of the little creature in the very act of jumping over a bottle
which had just lighted upon the table »Ill shake you into a kitten that I
will«
Chapter X
Shaking
She took her off the table as she spoke and shook her backwards and forwards
with all her might
The Red Queen made no resistance whatever only her face grew very small
and her eyes got large and green and still as Alice went on shaking her she
kept on growing shorter and fatter and softer and rounder and
Chapter XI
Waking
it really was kitten after all
Chapter XII
Which Dreamed It
»Your Red Majesty shouldnt purr so loud« Alice said rubbing her eyes and
addressing the kitten respectfully yet with some severity »You woke me out of
oh such a nice dream And youve been along with me Kitty all through the
Lookingglass world Did you know it dear«
It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens Alice had once made the remark
that whatever you say to them they always purr »If they would only purr for
yes and mew for no or any rule of that sort« she had said »so that one could
keep up a conversation But how can you talk with a person if they always say
the same thing«
On this occasion the kitten only purred and it was impossible to guess
whether it meant »yes« or »no«
So Alice hunted among the chessmen on the table till she had found the Red
Queen then she went down on her knees on the hearthrug and put the kitten and
the Queen to look at each other »Now Kitty« she cried clapping her hands
triumphantly »Confess that was what you turned into«
»But it wouldnt look at it« she said when she was explaining the thing
afterwards to her sister »it turned away its head and pretended not to see it
but it looked a little ashamed of itself so I think it must have been the Red
Queen«
»Sit up a little more stiffly dear« Alice cried with a merry laugh »And
curtsey while youre thinking what to what to purr It saves time remember«
And she caught it up and gave it one little kiss »just in honour of its having
been a Red Queen«
»Snowdrop my pet« she went on looking over her shoulder at the White
Kitten which was still patiently undergoing its toilet »when will Dinah have
finished with your White Majesty I wonder That must be the reason you were so
untidy in my dream Dinah Do you know that youre scrubbing a White Queen
Really its most disrespectful of you
And what did Dinah turn to I wonder« she prattled on as she settled
comfortably down with one elbow on the rug and her chin in her hand to watch
the kittens »Tell me Dinah did you turn to Humpty Dumpty I think you did
however youd better not mention it to your friends just yet for Im not sure
By the way Kitty if only youd been really with me in my dream there was
one thing you would have enjoyed I had such a quantity of poetry said to me
all about fishes Tomorrow morning you shall have a real treat All the time
youre eating your breakfast Ill repeat The Walrus and the Carpenter to you
and then you can make believe its oysters dear
Now Kitty lets consider who it was that dreamed it all This is a serious
question my dear and you should not go on licking your paw like that as if
Dinah hadnt washed you this morning You see Kitty it must have been either
me or the Red King He was part of my dream of course but then I was part of
his dream too Was it the Red King Kitty You were his wife my dear so you
ought to know Oh Kitty do help to settle it Im sure your paw can wait«
But the provoking kitten only began on the other paw and pretended it hadnt
heard the question
Which do you think it was
A boat beneath a sunny sky
Lingering onward dreamily
In an evening of July
Children three that nestle near
Eager eye and willing ear
Pleased a simple tale to hear
Long has paled that sunny sky
Echoes fade and memories die
Autumn frosts have slain July
Still she haunts me phantomwise
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes
Children yet the tale to hear
Eager eye and willing ear
Lovingly shall nestle near
In a Wonderland they lie
Dreaming as the days go by
Dreaming as the summers die
Ever drifting down the stream
Lingering in the golden gleam
Life what is it but a dream