NORTH AND SOUTH
by
ELIZABETH GASKELL
Wooed and married and a
Edith said Margaret gently Edith
But as Margaret half suspected Edith had fallen asleep She lay curled up on the sofa in the back drawingroom in Harley Street looking very lovely in her white muslin and blue ribbons If Titania had ever been dressed in white muslin and blue ribbons and had fallen asleep on a crimson damask sofa in a back drawingroom Edith might have been taken for her Margaret was struck afresh by her cousins beauty They had grown up together from childhood and all along Edith had been remarked upon by every one except Margaret for her prettiness but Margaret had never thought about it until the last few days when the prospect of soon losing her companion seemed to give force to every sweet quality and charm which Edith possessed They had been talking about wedding dresses and wedding ceremonies and Captain Lennox and what he had told Edith about her future life at Corfu where his regiment was stationed and the difficulty of keeping a piano in good tune a difficulty which Edith seemed to consider as one of the most formidable that could befall her in her married life and what gowns she should want in the visits to Scotland which would immediately succeed her marriage but the whispered tone had latterly become more drowsy and Margaret after a pause of a few minutes found as she fancied that in spite of the buzz in the next room Edith had rolled herself up into a soft ball of muslin and ribbon and silken curls and gone off into a peaceful little afterdinner nap
Margaret had been on the point of telling her cousin of some of the plans and visions which she entertained as to her future life in the country parsonage where her father and mother lived and where her bright holidays had always been passed though for the last ten years her aunt Shaws house had been considered as her home But in default of a listener she had to brood over the change in her life silently as heretofore It was a happy brooding although tinged with regret at being separated for an indefinite time from her gentle aunt and dear cousin As she thought of the delight of filling the important post of only daughter in Helstone parsonage pieces of the conversation out of the next room came upon her ears Her aunt Shaw was talking to the five or six ladies who had been dining there and whose husbands were still in the diningroom They were the familiar acquaintances of the house neighbours whom Mrs Shaw called friends because she happened to dine with them more frequently than with any other people and because if she or Edith wanted anything from them or they from her they did not scruple to make a call at each others houses before luncheon These ladies and their husbands were invited in their capacity of friends to eat a farewell dinner in honour of Ediths approaching marriage Edith had rather objected to this arrangement for Captain Lennox was expected to arrive by a late train this very evening but although she was a spoiled child she was too careless and idle to have a very strong will of her own and gave way when she found that her mother had absolutely ordered those extra delicacies of the season which are always supposed to be efficacious against immoderate grief at farewell dinners She contented herself by leaning back in her chair merely playing with the food on her plate and looking grave and absent while all around her were enjoying the mots of Mr Grey the gentleman who always took the bottom of the table at Mrs Shaws dinner parties and asked Edith to give them some music in the drawingroom Mr Grey was particularly agreeable over this farewell dinner and the gentlemen staid downstairs longer than usual It was very well they did—to judge from the fragments of conversation which Margaret overheard
I suffered too much myself not that I was not extremely happy with the poor dear General but still disparity of age is a drawback one that I was resolved Edith should not have to encounter Of course without any maternal partiality I foresaw that the dear child was likely to marry early indeed I had often said that I was sure she would be married before she was nineteen I had quite a prophetic feeling when Captain Lennox—and here the voice dropped into a whisper but Margaret could easily supply the blank The course of true love in Ediths case had run remarkably smooth Mrs Shaw had given way to the presentiment as she expressed it and had rather urged on the marriage although it was below the expectations which many of Ediths acquaintances had formed for her a young and pretty heiress But Mrs Shaw said that her only child should marry for love—and sighed emphatically as if love had not been her motive for marrying the General Mrs Shaw enjoyed the romance of the present engagement rather more than her daughter Not but that Edith was very thoroughly and properly in love still she would certainly have preferred a good house in Belgravia to all the picturesqueness of the life which Captain Lennox described at Corfu The very parts which made Margaret glow as she listened Edith pretended to shiver and shudder at partly for the pleasure she had in being coaxed out of her dislike by her fond lover and partly because anything of a gipsy or makeshift life was really distasteful to her Yet had any one come with a fine house and a fine estate and a fine title to boot Edith would still have clung to Captain Lennox while the temptation lasted when it was over it is possible she might have had little qualms of illconcealed regret that Captain Lennox could not have united in his person everything that was desirable In this she was but her mothers child who after deliberately marrying General Shaw with no warmer feeling than respect for his character and establishment was constantly though quietly bemoaning her hard lot in being united to one whom she could not love
I have spared no expense in her trousseau were the next words Margaret heard
She has all the beautiful Indian shawls and scarfs the General gave to me but which I shall never wear again
She is a lucky girl replied another voice which Margaret knew to be that of Mrs Gibson a lady who was taking a double interest in the conversation from the fact of one of her daughters having been married within the last few weeks
Helen had set her heart upon an Indian shawl but really when I found what an extravagant price was asked I was obliged to refuse her She will be quite envious when she hears of Edith having Indian shawls What kind are they Delhi with the lovely little borders
Margaret heard her aunts voice again but this time it was as if she had raised herself up from her halfrecumbent position and were looking into the more dimly lighted back drawingroom Edith Edith cried she and then she sank as if wearied by the exertion Margaret stepped forward
Edith is asleep Aunt Shaw Is it anything I can do
All the ladies said Poor child on receiving this distressing intelligence about Edith and the minute lapdog in Mrs Shaws arms began to bark as if excited by the burst of pity
Hush Tiny you naughty little girl you will waken your mistress It was only to ask Edith if she would tell Newton to bring down her shawls perhaps you would go Margaret dear
Margaret went up into the old nursery at the very top of the house where Newton was busy getting up some laces which were required for the wedding While Newton went not without a muttered grumbling to undo the shawls which had already been exhibited four or five times that day Margaret looked round upon the nursery the first room in that house with which she had become familiar nine years ago when she was brought all untamed from the forest to share the home the play and the lessons of her cousin Edith She remembered the dark dim look of the London nursery presided over by an austere and ceremonious nurse who was terribly particular about clean hands and torn frocks She recollected the first tea up there—separate from her father and aunt who were dining somewhere down below an infinite depth of stairs for unless she were up in the sky the child thought they must be deep down in the bowels of the earth At home—before she came to live in Harley Street—her mothers dressingroom had been her nursery and as they kept early hours in the country parsonage Margaret had always had her meals with her father and mother Oh well did the tall stately girl of eighteen remember the tears shed with such wild passion of grief by the little girl of nine as she hid her face under the bedclothes in that first night and how she was bidden not to cry by the nurse because it would disturb Miss Edith and how she had cried as bitterly but more quietly till her newlyseen grand pretty aunt had come softly upstairs with Mr Hale to show him his little sleeping daughter Then the little Margaret had hushed her sobs and tried to lie quiet as if asleep for fear of making her father unhappy by her grief which she dared not express before her aunt and which she rather thought it was wrong to feel at all after the long hoping and planning and contriving they had gone through at home before her wardrobe could be arranged so as to suit her grander circumstances and before papa could leave his parish to come up to London even for a few days
Now she had got to love the old nursery though it was but a dismantled place and she looked all round with a kind of catlike regret at the idea of leaving it for ever in three days
Ah Newton said she I think we shall all be sorry to leave this dear old room
Indeed miss I shant for one My eyes are not so good as they were and the light here is so bad that I cant see to mend laces except just at the window where theres always a shocking draught—enough to give one ones death of cold
Well I dare say you will have both good light and plenty of warmth at Naples You must keep as much of your darning as you can till then Thank you Newton I can take them down—youre busy
So Margaret went down laden with shawls and snuffing up their spicy Eastern smell Her aunt asked her to stand as a sort of lay figure on which to display them as Edith was still asleep No one thought about it but Margarets tall finely made figure in the black silk dress which she was wearing as mourning for some distant relative of her fathers set off the long beautiful folds of the gorgeous shawls that would have halfsmothered Edith Margaret stood right under the chandelier quite silent and passive while her aunt adjusted the draperies Occasionally as she was turned round she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror over the chimneypiece and smiled at her own appearance there—the familiar features in the usual garb of a princess She touched the shawls gently as they hung around her and took a pleasure in their soft feel and their brilliant colours and rather liked to be dressed in such splendour—enjoying it much as a child would do with a quiet pleased smile on her lips Just then the door opened and Mr Henry Lennox was suddenly announced Some of the ladies started back as if halfashamed of their feminine interest in dress Mrs Shaw held out her hand to the newcomer Margaret stood perfectly still thinking she might be yet wanted as a sort of block for the shawls but looking at Mr Lennox with a bright amused face as if sure of his sympathy in her sense of the ludicrousness at being thus surprised
Her aunt was so much absorbed in asking Mr Henry Lennox—who had not been able to come to dinner—all sorts of questions about his brother the bridegroom his sister the bridesmaid coming with the Captain from Scotland for the occasion and various other members of the Lennox family that Margaret saw she was no more wanted as shawlbearer and devoted herself to the amusement of the other visitors whom her aunt had for the moment forgotten Almost immediately Edith came in from the back drawingroom winking and blinking her eyes at the stronger light shaking back her slightlyruffled curls and altogether looking like the Sleeping Beauty just startled from her dreams Even in her slumber she had instinctively felt that a Lennox was worth rousing herself for and she had a multitude of questions to ask about dear Janet the future unseen sisterinlaw for whom she professed so much affection that if Margaret had not been very proud she might have almost felt jealous of the mushroom rival As Margaret sank rather more into the background on her aunts joining the conversation she saw Henry Lennox directing his look towards a vacant seat near her and she knew perfectly well that as soon as Edith released him from her questioning he would take possession of that chair She had not been quite sure from her aunts rather confused account of his engagements whether he would come that night it was almost a surprise to see him and now she was sure of a pleasant evening He liked and disliked pretty nearly the same things that she did Margarets face was lightened up into an honest open brightness Byandby he came She received him with a smile which had not a tinge of shyness or selfconsciousness in it
Well I suppose you are all in the depths of business—ladies business I mean Very different to my business which is the real true law business Playing with shawls is very different work to drawing up settlements
Ah I knew how you would be amused to find us all so occupied in admiring finery But really Indian shawls are very perfect things of their kind
I have no doubt they are Their prices are very perfect too Nothing wanting The gentlemen came dropping in one by one and the buzz and noise deepened in tone
This is your last dinnerparty is it not There are no more before Thursday
No I think after this evening we shall feel at rest which I am sure I have not done for many weeks at least that kind of rest when the hands have nothing more to do and all the arrangements are complete for an event which must occupy ones head and heart I shall be glad to have time to think and I am sure Edith will
I am not so sure about her but I can fancy that you will Whenever I have seen you lately you have been carried away by a whirlwind of some other persons making
Yes said Margaret rather sadly remembering the neverending commotion about trifles that had been going on for more than a month past I wonder if a marriage must always be preceded by what you call a whirlwind or whether in some cases there might not rather be a calm and peaceful time just before it
Cinderellas godmother ordering the trousseau the weddingbreakfast writing the notes of invitation for instance said Mr Lennox laughing
But are all these quite necessary troubles asked Margaret looking up straight at him for an answer A sense of indescribable weariness of all the arrangements for a pretty effect in which Edith had been busied as supreme authority for the last six weeks oppressed her just now and she really wanted some one to help her to a few pleasant quiet ideas connected with a marriage
Oh of course he replied with a change to gravity in his tone There are forms and ceremonies to be gone through not so much to satisfy oneself as to stop the worlds mouth without which stoppage there would be very little satisfaction in life But how would you have a wedding arranged
Oh I have never thought much about it only I should like it to be a very fine summer morning and I should like to walk to church through the shade of trees and not to have so many bridesmaids and to have no weddingbreakfast I dare say I am resolving against the very things that have given me the most trouble just now
No I dont think you are The idea of stately simplicity accords well with your character
Margaret did not quite like this speech she winced away from it more from remembering former occasions on which he had tried to lead her into a discussion in which he took the complimentary part about her own character and ways of going on She cut his speech rather short by saying
It is natural for me to think of Helstone church and the walk to it rather than of driving up to a London church in the middle of a paved street
Tell me about Helstone You have never described it to me I should like to have some idea of the place you will be living in when ninetysix Harley Street will be looking dingy and dirty and dull and shut up Is Helstone a village or a town in the first place
Oh only a hamlet I dont think I could call it a village at all There is the church and a few houses near it on the green—cottages rather—with roses growing all over them
And flowering all the year round especially at Christmas—make your picture complete said he
No replied Margaret somewhat annoyed I am not making a picture I am trying to describe Helstone as it really is You should not have said that
I am penitent he answered Only it really sounded like a village in a tale rather than in real life
And so it is replied Margaret eagerly All the other places in England that I have seen seem so hard and prosaiclooking after the New Forest Helstone is like a village in a poem—in one of Tennysons poems But I wont try and describe it any more You would only laugh at me if I told you what I think of it—what it really is
Indeed I would not But I see you are going to be very resolved Well then tell me that which I should like still better to know what the parsonage is like
Oh I cant describe my home It is home and I cant put its charm into words
I submit You are rather severe tonight Margaret
How said she turning her large soft eyes round full upon him I did not know I was
Why because I made an unlucky remark you will neither tell me what Helstone is like nor will you say anything about your home though I have told you how much I want to hear about both the latter especially
But indeed I cannot tell you about my own home I dont quite think it is a thing to be talked about unless you knew it
Well then—pausing for a moment—tell me what you do there Here you read or have lessons or otherwise improve your mind till the middle of the day take a walk before lunch go a drive with your aunt after and have some kind of engagement in the evening There now fill up your day at Helstone Shall you ride drive or walk
Walk decidedly We have no horse not even for papa He walks to the very extremity of his parish The walks are so beautiful it would be a shame to drive—almost a shame to ride
Shall you garden much That I believe is a proper employment for young ladies in the country
I dont know I am afraid I shant like such hard work
Archery parties—picnics—raceballs—huntballs
Oh no said she laughing Papas living is very small and even if we were near such things I doubt if I should go to them
I see you wont tell me anything You will only tell me that you are not going to do this and that Before the vacation ends I think I shall pay you a call and see what you really do employ yourself in
I hope you will Then you will see for yourself how beautiful Helstone is Now I must go Edith is sitting down to play and I just know enough of music to turn over the leaves for her and besides Aunt Shaw wont like us to talk Edith played brilliantly In the middle of the piece the door halfopened and Edith saw Captain Lennox hesitating whether to come in She threw down her music and rushed out of the room leaving Margaret standing confused and blushing to explain to the astonished guests what vision had shown itself to cause Ediths sudden flight Captain Lennox had come earlier than was expected or was it really so late They looked at their watches were duly shocked and took their leave
Then Edith came back glowing with pleasure halfshyly halfproudly leading in her tall handsome Captain His brother shook hands with him and Mrs Shaw welcomed him in her gentle kindly way which had always something plaintive in it arising from the long habit of considering herself a victim to an uncongenial marriage Now that the General being gone she had every good of life with as few drawbacks as possible she had been rather perplexed to find an anxiety if not a sorrow She had however of late settled upon her own health as a source of apprehension she had a nervous little cough whenever she thought about it and some complaisant doctor ordered her just what she desired—a winter in Italy Mrs Shaw had as strong wishes as most people but she never liked to do anything from the open and acknowledged motive of her own good will and pleasure she preferred being compelled to gratify herself by some other persons command or desire She really did persuade herself that she was submitting to some hard external necessity and thus she was able to moan and complain in her soft manner all the time she was in reality doing just what she liked
It was in this way she began to speak of her own journey to Captain Lennox who assented as in duty bound to all his future motherinlaw said while his eyes sought Edith who was busying herself in rearranging the teatable and ordering up all sorts of good things in spite of his assurances that he had dined within the last two hours
Mr Henry Lennox stood leaning against the chimneypiece amused with the family scene He was close by his handsome brother he was the plain one in a singularly goodlooking family but his face was intelligent keen and mobile and now and then Margaret wondered what it was that he could be thinking about while he kept silence but was evidently observing with an interest that was slightly sarcastic all that Edith and she were doing The sarcastic feeling was called out by Mrs Shaws conversation with his brother it was separate from the interest which was excited by what he saw He thought it a pretty sight to see the two cousins so busy in their little arrangements about the table Edith chose to do most herself She was in a humour to enjoy showing her lover how well she could behave as a soldiers wife She found out that the water in the urn was cold and ordered up the great kitchen teakettle the only consequence of which was that when she met it at the door and tried to carry it in it was too heavy for her and she came in pouting with a black mark on her muslin gown and a little round white hand indented by the handle which she took to show to Captain Lennox just like a hurt child and of course the remedy was the same in both cases Margarets quicklyadjusted spiritlamp was the most efficacious contrivance though not so like the gypsyencampment which Edith in some of her moods chose to consider the nearest resemblance to a barracklife After this evening all was bustle till the wedding was over
CHAPTER II—ROSES AND THORNS
By the soft green light in the woody glade
On the banks of moss where thy childhood played
By the household tree thro which thine eye
First looked in love to the summer sky
MRS HEMANS
Margaret was once more in her morning dress travelling quietly home with her father who had come up to assist at the wedding Her mother had been detained at home by a multitude of halfreasons none of which anybody fully understood except Mr Hale who was perfectly aware that all his arguments in favour of a grey satin gown which was midway between oldness and newness had proved unavailing and that as he had not the money to equip his wife afresh from top to toe she would not show herself at her only sisters only childs wedding If Mrs Shaw had guessed at the real reason why Mrs Hale did not accompany her husband she would have showered down gowns upon her but it was nearly twenty years since Mrs Shaw had been the poor pretty Miss Beresford and she had really forgotten all grievances except that of the unhappiness arising from disparity of age in married life on which she could descant by the halfhour Dearest Maria had married the man of her heart only eight years older than herself with the sweetest temper and that blueblack hair one so seldom sees Mr Hale was one of the most delightful preachers she had ever heard and a perfect model of a parish priest Perhaps it was not quite a logical deduction from all these premises but it was still Mrs Shaws characteristic conclusion as she thought over her sisters lot Married for love what can dearest Maria have to wish for in this world Mrs Hale if she spoke truth might have answered with a readymade list a silvergrey glace silk a white chip bonnet oh dozens of things for the wedding and hundreds of things for the house Margaret only knew that her mother had not found it convenient to come and she was not sorry to think that their meeting and greeting would take place at Helstone parsonage rather than during the confusion of the last two or three days in the house in Harley Street where she herself had had to play the part of Figaro and was wanted everywhere at one and the same time Her mind and body ached now with the recollection of all she had done and said within the last fortyeight hours The farewells so hurriedly taken amongst all the other goodbyes of those she had lived with so long oppressed her now with a sad regret for the times that were no more it did not signify what those times had been they were gone never to return Margarets heart felt more heavy than she could ever have thought it possible in going to her own dear home the place and the life she had longed for for years—at that time of all times for yearning and longing just before the sharp senses lose their outlines in sleep She took her mind away with a wrench from the recollection of the past to the bright serene contemplation of the hopeful future Her eyes began to see not visions of what had been but the sight actually before her her dear father leaning back asleep in the railway carriage His blueblack hair was grey now and lay thinly over his brows The bones of his face were plainly to be seen—too plainly for beauty if his features had been less finely cut as it was they had a grace if not a comeliness of their own The face was in repose but it was rather rest after weariness than the serene calm of the countenance of one who led a placid contented life Margaret was painfully struck by the worn anxious expression and she went back over the open and avowed circumstances of her fathers life to find the cause for the lines that spoke so plainly of habitual distress and depression
Poor Frederick thought she sighing Oh if Frederick had but been a clergyman instead of going into the navy and being lost to us all I wish I knew all about it I never understood it from Aunt Shaw I only knew he could not come back to England because of that terrible affair Poor dear papa how sad he looks I am so glad I am going home to be at hand to comfort him and mamma
She was ready with a bright smile in which there was not a trace of fatigue to greet her father when he awakened He smiled back again but faintly as if it were an unusual exertion His face returned into its lines of habitual anxiety He had a trick of halfopening his mouth as if to speak which constantly unsettled the form of the lips and gave the face an undecided expression But he had the same large soft eyes as his daughter—eyes which moved slowly and almost grandly round in their orbits and were well veiled by their transparent white eyelids Margaret was more like him than like her mother Sometimes people wondered that parents so handsome should have a daughter who was so far from regularly beautiful not beautiful at all was occasionally said Her mouth was wide no rosebud that could only open just enough to let out a yes and no and ant please you sir But the wide mouth was one soft curve of rich red lips and the skin if not white and fair was of an ivory smoothness and delicacy If the look on her face was in general too dignified and reserved for one so young now talking to her father it was bright as the morning—full of dimples and glances that spoke of childish gladness and boundless hope in the future
It was the latter part of July when Margaret returned home The forest trees were all one dark full dusky green the fern below them caught all the slanting sunbeams the weather was sultry and broodingly still Margaret used to tramp along by her fathers side crushing down the fern with a cruel glee as she felt it yield under her light foot and send up the fragrance peculiar to it—out on the broad commons into the warm scented light seeing multitudes of wild free living creatures revelling in the sunshine and the herbs and flowers it called forth This life—at least these walks—realised all Margarets anticipations She took a pride in her forest Its people were her people She made hearty friends with them learned and delighted in using their peculiar words took up her freedom amongst them nursed their babies talked or read with slow distinctness to their old people carried dainty messes to their sick resolved before long to teach at the school where her father went every day as to an appointed task but she was continually tempted off to go and see some individual friend—man woman or child—in some cottage in the green shade of the forest Her outofdoors life was perfect Her indoors life had its drawbacks With the healthy shame of a child she blamed herself for her keenness of sight in perceiving that all was not as it should be there Her mother—her mother always so kind and tender towards her—seemed now and then so much discontented with their situation thought that the bishop strangely neglected his episcopal duties in not giving Mr Hale a better living and almost reproached her husband because he could not bring himself to say that he wished to leave the parish and undertake the charge of a larger He would sigh aloud as he answered that if he could do what he ought in little Helstone he should be thankful but every day he was more overpowered the world became more bewildering At each repeated urgency of his wife that he would put himself in the way of seeking some preferment Margaret saw that her father shrank more and more and she strove at such times to reconcile her mother to Helstone Mrs Hale said that the near neighbourhood of so many trees affected her health and Margaret would try to tempt her forth on to the beautiful broad upland sunstreaked cloudshadowed common for she was sure that her mother had accustomed herself too much to an indoors life seldom extending her walks beyond the church the school and the neighbouring cottages This did good for a time but when the autumn drew on and the weather became more changeable her mothers idea of the unhealthiness of the place increased and she repined even more frequently that her husband who was more learned than Mr Hume a better parish priest than Mr Houldsworth should not have met with the preferment that these two former neighbours of theirs had done
This marring of the peace of home by long hours of discontent was what Margaret was unprepared for She knew and had rather revelled in the idea that she should have to give up many luxuries which had only been troubles and trammels to her freedom in Harley Street Her keen enjoyment of every sensuous pleasure was balanced finely if not overbalanced by her conscious pride in being able to do without them all if need were But the cloud never comes in that quarter of the horizon from which we watch for it There had been slight complaints and passing regrets on her mothers part over some trifle connected with Helstone and her fathers position there when Margaret had been spending her holidays at home before but in the general happiness of the recollection of those times she had forgotten the small details which were not so pleasant In the latter half of September the autumnal rains and storms came on and Margaret was obliged to remain more in the house than she had hitherto done Helstone was at some distance from any neighbours of their own standard of cultivation
It is undoubtedly one of the most outoftheway places in England said Mrs Hale in one of her plaintive moods I cant help regretting constantly that papa has really no one to associate with here he is so thrown away seeing no one but farmers and labourers from weeks end to weeks end If we only lived at the other side of the parish it would be something there we should be almost within walking distance of the Stansfields certainly the Gormans would be within a walk
Gormans said Margaret Are those the Gormans who made their fortunes in trade at Southampton Oh Im glad we dont visit them I dont like shoppy people I think we are far better off knowing only cottagers and labourers and people without pretence
You must not be so fastidious Margaret dear said her mother secretly thinking of a young and handsome Mr Gorman whom she had once met at Mr Humes
No I call mine a very comprehensive taste I like all people whose occupations have to do with land I like soldiers and sailors and the three learned professions as they call them Im sure you dont want me to admire butchers and bakers and candlestickmakers do you mamma
But the Gormans were neither butchers nor bakers but very respectable coachbuilders
Very well Coachbuilding is a trade all the same and I think a much more useless one than that of butchers or bakers Oh how tired I used to be of the drives every day in Aunt Shaws carriage and how I longed to walk
And walk Margaret did in spite of the weather She was so happy out of doors at her fathers side that she almost danced and with the soft violence of the west wind behind her as she crossed some heath she seemed to be borne onwards as lightly and easily as the fallen leaf that was wafted along by the autumnal breeze But the evenings were rather difficult to fill up agreeably Immediately after tea her father withdrew into his small library and she and her mother were left alone Mrs Hale had never cared much for books and had discouraged her husband very early in their married life in his desire of reading aloud to her while she worked At one time they had tried backgammon as a resource but as Mr Hale grew to take an increasing interest in his school and his parishioners he found that the interruptions which arose out of these duties were regarded as hardships by his wife not to be accepted as the natural conditions of his profession but to be regretted and struggled against by her as they severally arose So he withdrew while the children were yet young into his library to spend his evenings if he were at home in reading the speculative and metaphysical books which were his delight
When Margaret had been here before she had brought down with her a great box of books recommended by masters or governess and had found the summers day all too short to get through the reading she had to do before her return to town Now there were only the wellbound littleread English Classics which were weeded out of her fathers library to fill up the small bookshelves in the drawingroom Thomsons Seasons Hayleys Cowper Middletons Cicero were by far the lightest newest and most amusing The bookshelves did not afford much resource Margaret told her mother every particular of her London life to all of which Mrs Hale listened with interest sometimes amused and questioning at others a little inclined to compare her sisters circumstances of ease and comfort with the narrower means at Helstone vicarage On such evenings Margaret was apt to stop talking rather abruptly and listen to the dripdrip of the rain upon the leads of the little bowwindow Once or twice Margaret found herself mechanically counting the repetition of the monotonous sound while she wondered if she might venture to put a question on a subject very near to her heart and ask where Frederick was now what he was doing how long it was since they had heard from him But a consciousness that her mothers delicate health and positive dislike to Helstone all dated from the time of the mutiny in which Frederick had been engaged—the full account of which Margaret had never heard and which now seemed doomed to be buried in sad oblivion—made her pause and turn away from the subject each time she approached it When she was with her mother her father seemed the best person to apply to for information and when with him she thought that she could speak more easily to her mother Probably there was nothing much to be heard that was new In one of the letters she had received before leaving Harley Street her father had told her that they had heard from Frederick he was still at Rio and very well in health and sent his best love to her which was dry bones but not the living intelligence she longed for Frederick was always spoken of in the rare times when his name was mentioned as Poor Frederick His room was kept exactly as he had left it and was regularly dusted and put into order by Dixon Mrs Hales maid who touched no other part of the household work but always remembered the day when she had been engaged by Lady Beresford as ladies maid to Sir Johns wards the pretty Miss Beresfords the belles of Rutlandshire Dixon had always considered Mr Hale as the blight which had fallen upon her young ladys prospects in life If Miss Beresford had not been in such a hurry to marry a poor country clergyman there was no knowing what she might not have become But Dixon was too loyal to desert her in her affliction and downfall alias her married life She remained with her and was devoted to her interests always considering herself as the good and protecting fairy whose duty it was to baffle the malignant giant Mr Hale Master Frederick had been her favorite and pride and it was with a little softening of her dignified look and manner that she went in weekly to arrange the chamber as carefully as if he might be coming home that very evening Margaret could not help believing that there had been some late intelligence of Frederick unknown to her mother which was making her father anxious and uneasy Mrs Hale did not seem to perceive any alteration in her husbands looks or ways His spirits were always tender and gentle readily affected by any small piece of intelligence concerning the welfare of others He would be depressed for many days after witnessing a deathbed or hearing of any crime But now Margaret noticed an absence of mind as if his thoughts were preoccupied by some subject the oppression of which could not be relieved by any daily action such as comforting the survivors or teaching at the school in hope of lessening the evils in the generation to come Mr Hale did not go out among his parishioners as much as usual he was more shut up in his study was anxious for the village postman whose summons to the household was a rap on the backkitchen windowshutter—a signal which at one time had often to be repeated before any one was sufficiently alive to the hour of the day to understand what it was and attend to him Now Mr Hale loitered about the garden if the morning was fine and if not stood dreamily by the study window until the postman had called or gone down the lane giving a halfrespectful halfconfidential shake of the head to the parson who watched him away beyond the sweetbriar hedge and past the great arbutus before he turned into the room to begin his days work with all the signs of a heavy heart and an occupied mind
But Margaret was at an age when any apprehension not absolutely based on a knowledge of facts is easily banished for a time by a bright sunny day or some happy outward circumstance And when the brilliant fourteen fine days of October came on her cares were all blown away as lightly as thistledown and she thought of nothing but the glories of the forest The fernharvest was over and now that the rain was gone many a deep glade was accessible into which Margaret had only peeped in July and August weather She had learnt drawing with Edith and she had sufficiently regretted during the gloom of the bad weather her idle revelling in the beauty of the woodlands while it had yet been fine to make her determined to sketch what she could before winter fairly set in Accordingly she was busy preparing her board one morning when Sarah the housemaid threw wide open the drawingroom door and announced Mr Henry Lennox
CHAPTER III—THE MORE HASTE THE WORSE SPEED
Learn to win a ladys faith
Nobly as the thing is high
Bravely as for life and death—
With a loyal gravity
Lead her from the festive boards
Point her to the starry skies
Guard her by your truthful words
Pure from courtships flatteries
MRS BROWNING
Mr Henry Lennox Margaret had been thinking of him only a moment before and remembering his inquiry into her probable occupations at home It was parler du soleil et lon en voit les rayons and the brightness of the sun came over Margarets face as she put down her board and went forward to shake hands with him Tell mamma Sarah said she Mamma and I want to ask you so many questions about Edith I am so much obliged to you for coming
Did not I say that I should asked he in a lower tone than that in which she had spoken
But I heard of you so far away in the Highlands that I never thought Hampshire could come in
Oh said he more lightly our young couple were playing such foolish pranks running all sorts of risks climbing this mountain sailing on that lake that I really thought they needed a Mentor to take care of them And indeed they did they were quite beyond my uncles management and kept the old gentleman in a panic for sixteen hours out of the twentyfour Indeed when I once saw how unfit they were to be trusted alone I thought it my duty not to leave them till I had seen them safely embarked at Plymouth
Have you been at Plymouth Oh Edith never named that To be sure she has written in such a hurry lately Did they really sail on Tuesday
Really sailed and relieved me from many responsibilities Edith gave me all sorts of messages for you I believe I have a little diminutive note somewhere yes here it is
Oh thank you exclaimed Margaret and then half wishing to read it alone and unwatched she made the excuse of going to tell her mother again Sarah surely had made some mistake that Mr Lennox was there
When she had left the room he began in his scrutinising way to look about him The little drawingroom was looking its best in the streaming light of the morning sun The middle window in the bow was opened and clustering roses and the scarlet honeysuckle came peeping round the corner the small lawn was gorgeous with verbenas and geraniums of all bright colours But the very brightness outside made the colours within seem poor and faded The carpet was far from new the chintz had been often washed the whole apartment was smaller and shabbier than he had expected as background and framework for Margaret herself so queenly He took up one of the books lying on the table it was the Paradiso of Dante in the proper old Italian binding of white vellum and gold by it lay a dictionary and some words copied out in Margarets handwriting They were a dull list of words but somehow he liked looking at them He put them down with a sigh
The living is evidently as small as she said It seems strange for the Beresfords belong to a good family
Margaret meanwhile had found her mother It was one of Mrs Hales fitful days when everything was a difficulty and a hardship and Mr Lennoxs appearance took this shape although secretly she felt complimented by his thinking it worth while to call
It is most unfortunate We are dining early today and having nothing but cold meat in order that the servants may get on with their ironing and yet of course we must ask him to dinner—Ediths brotherinlaw and all And your papa is in such low spirits this morning about something—I dont know what I went into the study just now and he had his face on the table covering it with his hands I told him I was sure Helstone air did not agree with him any more than with me and he suddenly lifted up his head and begged me not to speak a word more against Helstone he could not bear it if there was one place he loved on earth it was Helstone But I am sure for all that it is the damp and relaxing air
Margaret felt as if a thin cold cloud had come between her and the sun She had listened patiently in hopes that it might be some relief to her mother to unburden herself but now it was time to draw her back to Mr Lennox
Papa likes Mr Lennox they got on together famously at the wedding breakfast I dare say his coming will do papa good And never mind the dinner dear mamma Cold meat will do capitally for a lunch which is the light in which Mr Lennox will most likely look upon a two oclock dinner
But what are we to do with him till then It is only halfpast ten now
Ill ask him to go out sketching with me I know he draws and that will take him out of your way mamma Only do come in now he will think it so strange if you dont
Mrs Hale took off her black silk apron and smoothed her face She looked a very pretty ladylike woman as she greeted Mr Lennox with the cordiality due to one who was almost a relation He evidently expected to be asked to spend the day and accepted the invitation with a glad readiness that made Mrs Hale wish she could add something to the cold beef He was pleased with everything delighted with Margarets idea of going out sketching together would not have Mr Hale disturbed for the world with the prospect of so soon meeting him at dinner Margaret brought out her drawing materials for him to choose from and after the paper and brushes had been duly selected the two set out in the merriest spirits in the world
Now please just stop here for a minute or two said Margaret These are the cottages that haunted me so during the rainy fortnight reproaching me for not having sketched them
Before they tumbled down and were no more seen Truly if they are to be sketched—and they are very picturesque—we had better not put it off till next year But where shall we sit
Oh You might have come straight from chambers in the Temple instead of having been two months in the Highlands Look at this beautiful trunk of a tree which the woodcutters have left just in the right place for the light I will put my plaid over it and it will be a regular forest throne
With your feet in that puddle for a regal footstool Stay I will move and then you can come nearer this way Who lives in these cottages
They were built by squatters fifty or sixty years ago One is uninhabited the foresters are going to take it down as soon as the old man who lives in the other is dead poor old fellow Look—there he is—I must go and speak to him He is so deaf you will hear all our secrets
The old man stood bareheaded in the sun leaning on his stick at the front of his cottage His stiff features relaxed into a slow smile as Margaret went up and spoke to him Mr Lennox hastily introduced the two figures into his sketch and finished up the landscape with a subordinate reference to them—as Margaret perceived when the time came for getting up putting away water and scraps of paper and exhibiting to each other their sketches She laughed and blushed Mr Lennox watched her countenance
Now I call that treacherous said she I little thought you were making old Isaac and me into subjects when you told me to ask him the history of these cottages
It was irresistible You cant know how strong a temptation it was I hardly dare tell you how much I shall like this sketch
He was not quite sure whether she heard this latter sentence before she went to the brook to wash her palette She came back rather flushed but looking perfectly innocent and unconscious He was glad of it for the speech had slipped from him unawares—a rare thing in the case of a man who premeditated his actions so much as Henry Lennox
The aspect of home was all right and bright when they reached it The clouds on her mothers brow had cleared off under the propitious influence of a brace of carp most opportunely presented by a neighbour Mr Hale had returned from his mornings round and was awaiting his visitor just outside the wicket gate that led into the garden He looked a complete gentleman in his rather threadbare coat and wellworn hat
Margaret was proud of her father she had always a fresh and tender pride in seeing how favourably he impressed every stranger still her quick eye sought over his face and found there traces of some unusual disturbance which was only put aside not cleared away
Mr Hale asked to look at their sketches
I think you have made the tints on the thatch too dark have you not as he returned Margarets to her and held out his hand for Mr Lennoxs which was withheld from him one moment no more
No papa I dont think I have The houseleek and stonecrop have grown so much darker in the rain Is it not like papa said she peeping over his shoulder as he looked at the figures in Mr Lennoxs drawing
Yes very like Your figure and way of holding yourself is capital And it is just poor old Isaacs stiff way of stooping his long rheumatic back What is this hanging from the branch of the tree Not a birds nest surely
Oh no that is my bonnet I never can draw with my bonnet on it makes my head so hot I wonder if I could manage figures There are so many people about here whom I should like to sketch
I should say that a likeness you very much wish to take you would always succeed in said Mr Lennox I have great faith in the power of will I think myself I have succeeded pretty well in yours Mr Hale had preceded them into the house while Margaret was lingering to pluck some roses with which to adorn her morning gown for dinner
A regular London girl would understand the implied meaning of that speech thought Mr Lennox She would be up to looking through every speech that a young man made her for the arrierepensée of a compliment But I dont believe Margaret—Stay exclaimed he Let me help you and he gathered for her some velvety cramoisy roses that were above her reach and then dividing the spoil he placed two in his buttonhole and sent her in pleased and happy to arrange her flowers
The conversation at dinner flowed on quietly and agreeably There were plenty of questions to be asked on both sides—the latest intelligence which each could give of Mrs Shaws movements in Italy to be exchanged and in the interest of what was said the unpretending simplicity of the parsonageways—above all in the neighbourhood of Margaret Mr Lennox forgot the little feeling of disappointment with which he had at first perceived that she had spoken but the simple truth when she had described her fathers living as very small
Margaret my child you might have gathered us some pears for our dessert said Mr Hale as the hospitable luxury of a freshlydecanted bottle of wine was placed on the table
Mrs Hale was hurried It seemed as if desserts were impromptu and unusual things at the parsonage whereas if Mr Hale would only have looked behind him he would have seen biscuits and marmalade and what not all arranged in formal order on the sideboard But the idea of pears had taken possession of Mr Hales mind and was not to be got rid of
There are a few brown beurres against the south wall which are worth all foreign fruits and preserves Run Margaret and gather us some
I propose that we adjourn into the garden and eat them there said Mr Lennox
Nothing is so delicious as to set ones teeth into the crisp juicy fruit warm and scented by the sun The worst is the wasps are impudent enough to dispute it with one even at the very crisis and summit of enjoyment
He rose as if to follow Margaret who had disappeared through the window he only awaited Mrs Hales permission She would rather have wound up the dinner in the proper way and with all the ceremonies which had gone on so smoothly hitherto especially as she and Dixon had got out the fingerglasses from the storeroom on purpose to be as correct as became General Shaws widows sister but as Mr Hale got up directly and prepared to accompany his guest she could only submit
I shall arm myself with a knife said Mr Hale the days of eating fruit so primitively as you describe are over with me I must pare it and quarter it before I can enjoy it
Margaret made a plate for the pears out of a beetroot leaf which threw up their brown gold colour admirably Mr Lennox looked more at her than at the pears but her father inclined to cull fastidiously the very zest and perfection of the hour he had stolen from his anxiety chose daintily the ripest fruit and sat down on the garden bench to enjoy it at his leisure Margaret and Mr Lennox strolled along the little terracewalk under the south wall where the bees still hummed and worked busily in their hives
What a perfect life you seem to live here I have always felt rather contemptuously towards the poets before with their wishes Mine be a cot beside a hill and that sort of thing but now I am afraid that the truth is I have been nothing better than a cockney Just now I feel as if twenty years hard study of law would be amply rewarded by one year of such an exquisite serene life as this—such skies looking up—such crimson and amber foliage so perfectly motionless as that pointing to some of the great forest trees which shut in the garden as if it were a nest
You must please to remember that our skies are not always as deep a blue as they are now We have rain and our leaves do fall and get sodden though I think Helstone is about as perfect a place as any in the world Recollect how you rather scorned my description of it one evening in Harley Street a village in a tale
Scorned Margaret That is rather a hard word
Perhaps it is Only I know I should have liked to have talked to you of what I was very full at the time and you—what must I call it then—spoke disrespectfully of Helstone as a mere village in a tale
I will never do so again said he warmly They turned the corner of the walk
I could almost wish Margaret—— he stopped and hesitated It was so unusual for the fluent lawyer to hesitate that Margaret looked up at him in a little state of questioning wonder but in an instant—from what about him she could not tell—she wished herself back with her mother—her father—anywhere away from him for she was sure he was going to say something to which she should not know what to reply In another moment the strong pride that was in her came to conquer her sudden agitation which she hoped he had not perceived Of course she could answer and answer the right thing and it was poor and despicable of her to shrink from hearing any speech as if she had not power to put an end to it with her high maidenly dignity
Margaret said he taking her by surprise and getting sudden possession of her hand so that she was forced to stand still and listen despising herself for the fluttering at her heart all the time Margaret I wish you did not like Helstone so much—did not seem so perfectly calm and happy here I have been hoping for these three months past to find you regretting London—and London friends a little—enough to make you listen more kindly for she was quietly but firmly striving to extricate her hand from his grasp to one who has not much to offer it is true—nothing but prospects in the future—but who does love you Margaret almost in spite of himself Margaret have I startled you too much Speak For he saw her lips quivering almost as if she were going to cry She made a strong effort to be calm she would not speak till she had succeeded in mastering her voice and then she said
I was startled I did not know that you cared for me in that way I have always thought of you as a friend and please I would rather go on thinking of you so I dont like to be spoken to as you have been doing I cannot answer you as you want me to do and yet I should feel so sorry if I vexed you
Margaret said he looking into her eyes which met his with their open straight look expressive of the utmost good faith and reluctance to give pain
Do you—he was going to say—love any one else But it seemed as if this question would be an insult to the pure serenity of those eyes Forgive me I have been too abrupt I am punished Only let me hope Give me the poor comfort of telling me you have never seen any one whom you could—— Again a pause He could not end his sentence Margaret reproached herself acutely as the cause of his distress
Ah if you had but never got this fancy into your head It was such a pleasure to think of you as a friend
But I may hope may I not Margaret that some time you will think of me as a lover Not yet I see—there is no hurry—but some time—— She was silent for a minute or two trying to discover the truth as it was in her own heart before replying then she said
I have never thought of—you but as a friend I like to think of you so but I am sure I could never think of you as anything else Pray let us both forget that all this disagreeable she was going to say but stopped short conversation has taken place
He paused before he replied Then in his habitual coldness of tone he answered
Of course as your feelings are so decided and as this conversation has been so evidently unpleasant to you it had better not be remembered That is all very fine in theory that plan of forgetting whatever is painful but it will be somewhat difficult for me at least to carry it into execution
You are vexed said she sadly yet how can I help it
She looked so truly grieved as she said this that he struggled for a moment with his real disappointment and then answered more cheerfully but still with a little hardness in his tone
You should make allowances for the mortification not only of a lover Margaret but of a man not given to romance in general—prudent worldly as some people call me—who has been carried out of his usual habits by the force of a passion—well we will say no more of that but in the one outlet which he has formed for the deeper and better feelings of his nature he meets with rejection and repulse I shall have to console myself with scorning my own folly A struggling barrister to think of matrimony
Margaret could not answer this The whole tone of it annoyed her It seemed to touch on and call out all the points of difference which had often repelled her in him while yet he was the pleasantest man the most sympathising friend the person of all others who understood her best in Harley Street She felt a tinge of contempt mingle itself with her pain at having refused him Her beautiful lip curled in a slight disdain It was well that having made the round of the garden they came suddenly upon Mr Hale whose whereabouts had been quite forgotten by them He had not yet finished the pear which he had delicately peeled in one long strip of silverpaper thinness and which he was enjoying in a deliberate manner It was like the story of the eastern king who dipped his head into a basin of water at the magicians command and ere he instantly took it out went through the experience of a lifetime Margaret felt stunned and unable to recover her selfpossession enough to join in the trivial conversation that ensued between her father and Mr Lennox She was grave and little disposed to speak full of wonder when Mr Lennox would go and allow her to relax into thought on the events of the last quarter of an hour He was almost as anxious to take his departure as she was for him to leave but a few minutes light and careless talking carried on at whatever effort was a sacrifice which he owed to his mortified vanity or his selfrespect He glanced from time to time at her sad and pensive face
I am not so indifferent to her as she believes thought he to himself I do not give up hope
Before a quarter of an hour was over he had fallen into a way of conversing with quiet sarcasm speaking of life in London and life in the country as if he were conscious of his second mocking self and afraid of his own satire Mr Hale was puzzled His visitor was a different man to what he had seen him before at the weddingbreakfast and at dinner today a lighter cleverer more worldly man and as such dissonant to Mr Hale It was a relief to all three when Mr Lennox said that he must go directly if he meant to catch the five oclock train They proceeded to the house to find Mrs Hale and wish her goodbye At the last moment Henry Lennoxs real self broke through the crust
Margaret dont despise me I have a heart notwithstanding all this goodfornothing way of talking As a proof of it I believe I love you more than ever—if I do not hate you—for the disdain with which you have listened to me during this last halfhour Goodbye Margaret—Margaret
CHAPTER IV—DOUBTS AND DIFFICULTIES
Cast me upon some naked shore
Where I may tracke
Only the print of some sad wracke
If thou be there though the seas roare
I shall no gentler calm implore
HABINGTON
He was gone The house was shut up for the evening No more deep blue skies or crimson and amber tints Margaret went up to dress for the early tea finding Dixon in a pretty temper from the interruption which a visitor had naturally occasioned on a busy day She showed it by brushing away viciously at Margarets hair under pretence of being in a great hurry to go to Mrs Hale Yet after all Margaret had to wait a long time in the drawingroom before her mother came down She sat by herself at the fire with unlighted candles on the table behind her thinking over the day the happy walk happy sketching cheerful pleasant dinner and the uncomfortable miserable walk in the garden
How different men were to women Here was she disturbed and unhappy because her instinct had made anything but a refusal impossible while he not many minutes after he had met with a rejection of what ought to have been the deepest holiest proposal of his life could speak as if briefs success and all its superficial consequences of a good house clever and agreeable society were the sole avowed objects of his desires Oh dear how she could have loved him if he had but been different with a difference which she felt on reflection to be one that went low—deep down Then she took it into her head that after all his lightness might be but assumed to cover a bitterness of disappointment which would have been stamped on her own heart if she had loved and been rejected
Her mother came into the room before this whirl of thoughts was adjusted into anything like order Margaret had to shake off the recollections of what had been done and said through the day and turn a sympathising listener to the account of how Dixon had complained that the ironingblanket had been burnt again and how Susan Lightfoot had been seen with artificial flowers in her bonnet thereby giving evidence of a vain and giddy character Mr Hale sipped his tea in abstracted silence Margaret had the responses all to herself She wondered how her father and mother could be so forgetful so regardless of their companion through the day as never to mention his name She forgot that he had not made them an offer
After tea Mr Hale got up and stood with his elbow on the chimneypiece leaning his head on his hand musing over something and from time to time sighing deeply Mrs Hale went out to consult with Dixon about some winter clothing for the poor Margaret was preparing her mothers worsted work and rather shrinking from the thought of the long evening and wishing bedtime were come that she might go over the events of the day again
Margaret said Mr Hale at last in a sort of sudden desperate way that made her start Is that tapestry thing of immediate consequence I mean can you leave it and come into my study I want to speak to you about something very serious to us all
Very serious to us all Mr Lennox had never had the opportunity of having any private conversation with her father after her refusal or else that would indeed be a very serious affair In the first place Margaret felt guilty and ashamed of having grown so much into a woman as to be thought of in marriage and secondly she did not know if her father might not be displeased that she had taken upon herself to decline Mr Lennoxs proposal But she soon felt it was not about anything which having only lately and suddenly occurred could have given rise to any complicated thoughts that her father wished to speak to her He made her take a chair by him he stirred the fire snuffed the candles and sighed once or twice before he could make up his mind to say—and it came out with a jerk after all—Margaret I am going to leave Helstone
Leave Helstone papa But why
Mr Hale did not answer for a minute or two He played with some papers on the table in a nervous and confused manner opening his lips to speak several times but closing them again without having the courage to utter a word Margaret could not bear the sight of the suspense which was even more distressing to her father than to herself
But why dear papa Do tell me
He looked up at her suddenly and then said with a slow and enforced calmness
Because I must no longer be a minister in the Church of England
Margaret had imagined nothing less than that some of the preferments which her mother so much desired had befallen her father at last—something that would force him to leave beautiful beloved Helstone and perhaps compel him to go and live in some of the stately and silent Closes which Margaret had seen from time to time in cathedral towns They were grand and imposing places but if to go there it was necessary to leave Helstone as a home for ever that would have been a sad long lingering pain But nothing to the shock she received from Mr Hales last speech What could he mean It was all the worse for being so mysterious The aspect of piteous distress on his face almost as imploring a merciful and kind judgment from his child gave her a sudden sickening Could he have become implicated in anything Frederick had done Frederick was an outlaw Had her father out of a natural love for his son connived at any—
Oh what is it do speak papa tell me all Why can you no longer be a clergyman Surely if the bishop were told all we know about Frederick and the hard unjust—
It is nothing about Frederick the bishop would have nothing to do with that It is all myself Margaret I will tell you about it I will answer any questions this once but after tonight let us never speak of it again I can meet the consequences of my painful miserable doubts but it is an effort beyond me to speak of what has caused me so much suffering
Doubts papa Doubts as to religion asked Margaret more shocked than ever
No not doubts as to religion not the slightest injury to that He paused Margaret sighed as if standing on the verge of some new horror He began again speaking rapidly as if to get over a set task
You could not understand it all if I told you—my anxiety for years past to know whether I had any right to hold my living—my efforts to quench my smouldering doubts by the authority of the Church Oh Margaret how I love the holy Church from which I am to be shut out He could not go on for a moment or two Margaret could not tell what to say it seemed to her as terribly mysterious as if her father were about to turn Mahometan
I have been reading today of the two thousand who were ejected from their churches—continued Mr Hale smiling faintly—trying to steal some of their bravery but it is of no use—no use—I cannot help feeling it acutely
But papa have you well considered Oh it seems so terrible so shocking said Margaret suddenly bursting into tears The one staid foundation of her home of her idea of her beloved father seemed reeling and rocking What could she say What was to be done The sight of her distress made Mr Hale nerve himself in order to try and comfort her He swallowed down the dry choking sobs which had been heaving up from his heart hitherto and going to his bookcase he took down a volume which he had often been reading lately and from which he thought he had derived strength to enter upon the course in which he was now embarked
Listen dear Margaret said he putting one arm round her waist She took his hand in hers and grasped it tight but she could not lift up her head nor indeed could she attend to what he read so great was her internal agitation
This is the soliloquy of one who was once a clergyman in a country parish like me it was written by a Mr Oldfield minister of Carsington in Derbyshire a hundred and sixty years ago or more His trials are over He fought the good fight These last two sentences he spoke low as if to himself Then he read aloud—
When thou canst no longer continue in thy work without dishonour to God discredit to religion foregoing thy integrity wounding conscience spoiling thy peace and hazarding the loss of thy salvation in a word when the conditions upon which thou must continue if thou wilt continue in thy employments are sinful and unwarranted by the word of God thou mayest yea thou must believe that God will turn thy very silence suspension deprivation and laying aside to His glory and the advancement of the Gospels interest When God will not use thee in one kind yet He will in another A soul that desires to serve and honour Him shall never want opportunity to do it nor must thou so limit the Holy One of Israel as to think He hath but one way in which He can glorify Himself by thee He can do it by thy silence as well as by thy preaching thy laying aside as well as thy continuance in thy work It is not pretence of doing God the greatest service or performing the weightiest duty that will excuse the least sin though that sin capacitated or gave us the opportunity for doing that duty Thou wilt have little thanks O my soul if when thou art charged with corrupting Gods worship falsifying thy vows thou pretendest a necessity for it in order to a continuance in the ministry As he read this and glanced at much more which he did not read he gained resolution for himself and felt as if he too could be brave and firm in doing what he believed to be right but as he ceased he heard Margarets low convulsive sob and his courage sank down under the keen sense of suffering
Margaret dear said he drawing her closer think of the early martyrs think of the thousands who have suffered
But father said she suddenly lifting up her flushed tearwet face the early martyrs suffered for the truth while you—oh dear dear papa
I suffer for conscience sake my child said he with a dignity that was only tremulous from the acute sensitiveness of his character I must do what my conscience bids I have borne long with selfreproach that would have roused any mind less torpid and cowardly than mine He shook his head as he went on Your poor mothers fond wish gratified at last in the mocking way in which overfond wishes are too often fulfilled—Sodom apples as they are—has brought on this crisis for which I ought to be and I hope I am thankful It is not a month since the bishop offered me another living if I had accepted it I should have had to make a fresh declaration of conformity to the Liturgy at my institution Margaret I tried to do it I tried to content myself with simply refusing the additional preferment and stopping quietly here—strangling my conscience now as I had strained it before God forgive me
He rose and walked up and down the room speaking low words of selfreproach and humiliation of which Margaret was thankful to hear but few At last he said
Margaret I return to the old sad burden we must leave Helstone
Yes I see But when
I have written to the bishop—I dare say I have told you so but I forget things just now said Mr Hale collapsing into his depressed manner as soon as he came to talk of hard matteroffact details informing him of my intention to resign this vicarage He has been most kind he has used arguments and expostulations all in vain—in vain They are but what I have tried upon myself without avail I shall have to take my deed of resignation and wait upon the bishop myself to bid him farewell That will be a trial but worse far worse will be the parting from my dear people There is a curate appointed to read prayers—a Mr Brown He will come to stay with us tomorrow Next Sunday I preach my farewell sermon
Was it to be so sudden then thought Margaret and yet perhaps it was as well Lingering would only add stings to the pain it was better to be stunned into numbness by hearing of all these arrangements which seemed to be nearly completed before she had been told What does mamma say asked she with a deep sigh
To her surprise her father began to walk about again before he answered At length he stopped and replied
Margaret I am a poor coward after all I cannot bear to give pain I know so well your mothers married life has not been all she hoped—all she had a right to expect—and this will be such a blow to her that I have never had the heart the power to tell her She must be told though now said he looking wistfully at his daughter Margaret was almost overpowered with the idea that her mother knew nothing of it all and yet the affair was so far advanced
Yes indeed she must said Margaret Perhaps after all she may not—Oh yes she will she must be shocked—as the force of the blow returned upon herself in trying to realise how another would take it Where are we to go to said she at last struck with a fresh wonder as to their future plans if plans indeed her father had
To MiltonNorthern he answered with a dull indifference for he had perceived that although his daughters love had made her cling to him and for a moment strive to soothe him with her love yet the keenness of the pain was as fresh as ever in her mind
MiltonNorthern The manufacturing town in Darkshire
Yes said he in the same despondent indifferent way
Why there papa asked she
Because there I can earn bread for my family Because I know no one there and no one knows Helstone or can ever talk to me about it
Bread for your family I thought you and mamma had—and then she stopped checking her natural interest regarding their future life as she saw the gathering gloom on her fathers brow But he with his quick intuitive sympathy read in her face as in a mirror the reflections of his own moody depression and turned it off with an effort
You shall be told all Margaret Only help me to tell your mother I think I could do anything but that the idea of her distress turns me sick with dread If I tell you all perhaps you could break it to her tomorrow I am going out for the day to bid Farmer Dobson and the poor people on Bracy Common goodbye Would you dislike breaking it to her very much Margaret
Margaret did dislike it did shrink from it more than from anything she had ever had to do in her life before She could not speak all at once Her father said You dislike it very much dont you Margaret Then she conquered herself and said with a bright strong look on her face
It is a painful thing but it must be done and I will do it as well as ever I can You must have many painful things to do
Mr Hale shook his head despondingly he pressed her hand in token of gratitude Margaret was nearly upset again into a burst of crying To turn her thoughts she said Now tell me papa what our plans are You and mamma have some money independent of the income from the living have not you Aunt Shaw has I know
Yes I suppose we have about a hundred and seventy pounds a year of our own Seventy of that has always gone to Frederick since he has been abroad I dont know if he wants it all he continued in a hesitating manner He must have some pay for serving with the Spanish army
Frederick must not suffer said Margaret decidedly in a foreign country so unjustly treated by his own A hundred is left Could not you and I and mamma live on a hundred a year in some very cheap—very quiet part of England Oh I think we could
No said Mr Hale That would not answer I must do something I must make myself busy to keep off morbid thoughts Besides in a country parish I should be so painfully reminded of Helstone and my duties here I could not bear it Margaret And a hundred a year would go a very little way after the necessary wants of housekeeping are met towards providing your mother with all the comforts she has been accustomed to and ought to have No we must go to Milton That is settled I can always decide better by myself and not influenced by those whom I love said he as a half apology for having arranged so much before he had told any one of his family of his intentions I cannot stand objections They make me so undecided
Margaret resolved to keep silence After all what did it signify where they went compared to the one terrible change
Mr Hale continued A few months ago when my misery of doubt became more than I could bear without speaking I wrote to Mr Bell—you remember Mr Bell Margaret
No I never saw him I think But I know who he is Fredericks godfather—your old tutor at Oxford dont you mean
Yes He is a Fellow of Plymouth College there He is a native of MiltonNorthern I believe At any rate he has property there which has very much increased in value since Milton has become such a large manufacturing town Well I had reason to suspect—to imagine—I had better say nothing about it however But I felt sure of sympathy from Mr Bell I dont know that he gave me much strength He has lived an easy life in his college all his days But he has been as kind as can be And it is owing to him we are going to Milton
How said Margaret
Why he has tenants and houses and mills there so though he dislikes the place—too bustling for one of his habits—he is obliged to keep up some sort of connection and he tells me that he hears there is a good opening for a private tutor there
A private tutor said Margaret looking scornful What in the world do manufacturers want with the classics or literature or the accomplishments of a gentleman
Oh said her father some of them really seem to be fine fellows conscious of their own deficiencies which is more than many a man at Oxford is Some want resolutely to learn though they have come to mans estate Some want their children to be better instructed than they themselves have been At any rate there is an opening as I have said for a private tutor Mr Bell has recommended me to a Mr Thornton a tenant of his and a very intelligent man as far as I can judge from his letters And in Milton Margaret I shall find a busy life if not a happy one and people and scenes so different that I shall never be reminded of Helstone
There was the secret motive as Margaret knew from her own feelings It would be different Discordant as it was—with almost a detestation for all she had ever heard of the North of England the manufacturers the people the wild and bleak country—there was this one recommendation—it would be different from Helstone and could never remind them of that beloved place
When do we go asked Margaret after a short silence
I do not know exactly I wanted to talk it over with you You see your mother knows nothing about it yet but I think in a fortnight—after my deed of resignation is sent in I shall have no right to remain
Margaret was almost stunned
In a fortnight
No—no not exactly to a day Nothing is fixed said her father with anxious hesitation as he noticed the filmy sorrow that came over her eyes and the sudden change in her complexion But she recovered herself immediately
Yes papa it had better be fixed soon and decidedly as you say Only mamma to know nothing about it It is that that is the great perplexity
Poor Maria replied Mr Hale tenderly Poor poor Maria Oh if I were not married—if I were but myself in the world how easy it would be As it is—Margaret I dare not tell her
No said Margaret sadly I will do it Give me till tomorrow evening to choose my time Oh papa cried she with sudden passionate entreaty say—tell me it is a nightmare—a horrid dream—not the real waking truth You cannot mean that you are really going to leave the Church—to give up Helstone—to be for ever separate from me from mamma—led away by some delusion—some temptation You do not really mean it
Mr Hale sat in rigid stillness while she spoke
Then he looked her in the face and said in a slow hoarse measured way—I do mean it Margaret You must not deceive yourself into doubting the reality of my words—my fixed intention and resolve He looked at her in the same steady stony manner for some moments after he had done speaking She too gazed back with pleading eyes before she would believe that it was irrevocable Then she arose and went without another word or look towards the door As her fingers were on the handle he called her back He was standing by the fireplace shrunk and stooping but as she came near he drew himself up to his full height and placing his hands on her head he said solemnly
The blessing of God be upon thee my child
And may He restore you to His Church responded she out of the fulness of her heart The next moment she feared lest this answer to his blessing might be irreverent wrong—might hurt him as coming from his daughter and she threw her arms round his neck He held her to him for a minute or two She heard him murmur to himself The martyrs and confessors had even more pain to bear—I will not shrink
They were startled by hearing Mrs Hale inquiring for her daughter They started asunder in the full consciousness of all that was before them Mr Hale hurriedly said—Go Margaret go I shall be out all tomorrow Before night you will have told your mother
Yes she replied and she returned to the drawingroom in a stunned and dizzy state
CHAPTER V—DECISION
I ask Thee for a thoughtful love
Through constant watching wise
To meet the glad with joyful smiles
And to wipe the weeping eyes
And a heart at leisure from itself
To soothe and sympathise
ANON
Margaret made a good listener to all her mothers little plans for adding some small comforts to the lot of the poorer parishioners She could not help listening though each new project was a stab to her heart By the time the frost had set in they should be far away from Helstone Old Simons rheumatism might be bad and his eyesight worse there would be no one to go and read to him and comfort him with little porringers of broth and good red flannel or if there was it would be a stranger and the old man would watch in vain for her Mary Domvilles little crippled boy would crawl in vain to the door and look for her coming through the forest These poor friends would never understand why she had forsaken them and there were many others besides Papa has always spent the income he derived from his living in the parish I am perhaps encroaching upon the next dues but the winter is likely to be severe and our poor old people must be helped
Oh mamma let us do all we can said Margaret eagerly not seeing the prudential side of the question only grasping at the idea that they were rendering such help for the last time we may not be here long
Do you feel ill my darling asked Mrs Hale anxiously misunderstanding Margarets hint of the uncertainty of their stay at Helstone You look pale and tired It is this soft damp unhealthy air
No—no mamma it is not that it is delicious air It smells of the freshest purest fragrance after the smokiness of Harley Street But I am tired it surely must be near bedtime
Not far off—it is halfpast nine You had better go to bed at dear Ask Dixon for some gruel I will come and see you as soon as you are in bed I am afraid you have taken cold or the bad air from some of the stagnant ponds—
Oh mamma said Margaret faintly smiling as she kissed her mother I am quite well—dont alarm yourself about me I am only tired
Margaret went upstairs To soothe her mothers anxiety she submitted to a basin of gruel She was lying languidly in bed when Mrs Hale came up to make some last inquiries and kiss her before going to her own room for the night But the instant she heard her mothers door locked she sprang out of bed and throwing her dressinggown on she began to pace up and down the room until the creaking of one of the boards reminded her that she must make no noise She went and curled herself up on the windowseat in the small deeplyrecessed window That morning when she had looked out her heart had danced at seeing the bright clear lights on the church tower which foretold a fine and sunny day This evening—sixteen hours at most had past by—she sat down too full of sorrow to cry but with a dull cold pain which seemed to have pressed the youth and buoyancy out of her heart never to return Mr Henry Lennoxs visit—his offer—was like a dream a thing beside her actual life The hard reality was that her father had so admitted tempting doubts into his mind as to become a schismatic—an outcast all the changes consequent upon this grouped themselves around that one great blighting fact
She looked out upon the darkgray lines of the church tower square and straight in the centre of the view cutting against the deep blue transparent depths beyond into which she gazed and felt that she might gaze for ever seeing at every moment some farther distance and yet no sign of God It seemed to her at the moment as if the earth was more utterly desolate than if girt in by an iron dome behind which there might be the ineffaceable peace and glory of the Almighty those neverending depths of space in their still serenity were more mocking to her than any material bounds could be—shutting in the cries of earths sufferers which now might ascend into that infinite splendour of vastness and be lost—lost for ever before they reached His throne In this mood her father came in unheard The moonlight was strong enough to let him see his daughter in her unusual place and attitude He came to her and touched her shoulder before she was aware that he was there
Margaret I heard you were up I could not help coming in to ask you to pray with me—to say the Lords Prayer that will do good to both of us
Mr Hale and Margaret knelt by the windowseat—he looking up she bowed down in humble shame God was there close around them hearing her fathers whispered words Her father might be a heretic but had not she in her despairing doubts not five minutes before shown herself a far more utter sceptic She spoke not a word but stole to bed after her father had left her like a child ashamed of its fault If the world was full of perplexing problems she would trust and only ask to see the one step needful for the hour Mr Lennox—his visit his proposal—the remembrance of which had been so rudely pushed aside by the subsequent events of the day—haunted her dreams that night He was climbing up some tree of fabulous height to reach the branch whereon was slung her bonnet he was falling and she was struggling to save him but held back by some invisible powerful hand He was dead And yet with a shifting of the scene she was once more in the Harley Street drawingroom talking to him as of old and still with a consciousness all the time that she had seen him killed by that terrible fall
Miserable unresting night Ill preparation for the coming day She awoke with a start unrefreshed and conscious of some reality worse even than her feverish dreams It all came back upon her not merely the sorrow but the terrible discord in the sorrow Where to what distance apart had her father wandered led by doubts which were to her temptations of the Evil One She longed to ask and yet would not have heard for all the world
The fine crisp morning made her mother feel particularly well and happy at breakfasttime She talked on planning village kindnesses unheeding the silence of her husband and the monosyllabic answers of Margaret Before the things were cleared away Mr Hale got up he leaned one hand on the table as if to support himself
I shall not be at home till evening I am going to Bracy Common and will ask Farmer Dobson to give me something for dinner I shall be back to tea at seven He did not look at either of them but Margaret knew what he meant By seven the announcement must be made to her mother Mr Hale would have delayed making it till halfpast six but Margaret was of different stuff She could not bear the impending weight on her mind all the day long better get the worst over the day would be too short to comfort her mother But while she stood by the window thinking how to begin and waiting for the servant to have left the room her mother had gone upstairs to put on her things to go to the school She came down ready equipped in a brisker mood than usual
Mother come round the garden with me this morning just one turn said Margaret putting her arm round Mrs Hales waist
They passed through the open window Mrs Hale spoke—said something—Margaret could not tell what Her eye caught on a bee entering a deepbelled flower when that bee flew forth with his spoil she would begin—that should be the sign Out he came
Mamma Papa is going to leave Helstone she blurted forth Hes going to leave the Church and live in MiltonNorthern There were the three hard facts hardly spoken
What makes you say so asked Mrs Hale in a surprised incredulous voice Who has been telling you such nonsense
Papa himself said Margaret longing to say something gentle and consoling but literally not knowing how They were close to a gardenbench Mrs Hale sat down and began to cry
I dont understand you she said Either you have made some great mistake or I dont quite understand you
No mother I have made no mistake Papa has written to the bishop saying that he has such doubts that he cannot conscientiously remain a priest of the Church of England and that he must give up Helstone He has also consulted Mr Bell—Fredericks godfather you know mamma and it is arranged that we go to live in MiltonNorthern Mrs Hale looked up in Margarets face all the time she was speaking these words the shadow on her countenance told that she at least believed in the truth of what she said
I dont think it can be true said Mrs Hale at length He would surely have told me before it came to this
It came strongly upon Margarets mind that her mother ought to have been told that whatever her faults of discontent and repining might have been it was an error in her father to have left her to learn his change of opinion and his approaching change of life from her betterinformed child Margaret sat down by her mother and took her unresisting head on her breast bending her own soft cheeks down caressingly to touch her face
Dear darling mamma we were so afraid of giving you pain Papa felt so acutely—you know you are not strong and there must have been such terrible suspense to go through
When did he tell you Margaret
Yesterday only yesterday replied Margaret detecting the jealousy which prompted the inquiry Poor papa—trying to divert her mothers thoughts into compassionate sympathy for all her father had gone through Mrs Hale raised her head
What does he mean by having doubts she asked Surely he does not mean that he thinks differently—that he knows better than the Church Margaret shook her head and the tears came into her eyes as her mother touched the bare nerve of her own regret
Cant the bishop set him right asked Mrs Hale half impatiently
Im afraid not said Margaret But I did not ask I could not bear to hear what he might answer It is all settled at any rate He is going to leave Helstone in a fortnight I am not sure if he did not say he had sent in his deed of resignation
In a fortnight exclaimed Mrs Hale I do think this is very strange—not at all right I call it very unfeeling said she beginning to take relief in tears He has doubts you say and gives up his living and all without consulting me I dare say if he had told me his doubts at the first I could have nipped them in the bud
Mistaken as Margaret felt her fathers conduct to have been she could not bear to hear it blamed by her mother She knew that his very reserve had originated in a tenderness for her which might be cowardly but was not unfeeling
I almost hoped you might have been glad to leave Helstone mamma said she after a pause You have never been well in this air you know
You cant think the smoky air of a manufacturing town all chimneys and dirt like MiltonNorthern would be better than this air which is pure and sweet if it is too soft and relaxing Fancy living in the middle of factories and factory people Though of course if your father leaves the Church we shall not be admitted into society anywhere It will be such a disgrace to us Poor dear Sir John It is well he is not alive to see what your father has come to Every day after dinner when I was a girl living with your aunt Shaw at Beresford Court Sir John used to give for the first toast—Church and King and down with the Rump
Margaret was glad that her mothers thoughts were turned away from the fact of her husbands silence to her on the point which must have been so near his heart Next to the serious vital anxiety as to the nature of her fathers doubts this was the one circumstance of the case that gave Margaret the most pain
You know we have very little society here mamma The Gormans who are our nearest neighbours to call society—and we hardly ever see them have been in trade just as much as these MiltonNorthern people
Yes said Mrs Hale almost indignantly but at any rate the Gormans made carriages for half the gentry of the county and were brought into some kind of intercourse with them but these factory people who on earth wears cotton that can afford linen
Well mamma I give up the cottonspinners I am not standing up for them any more than for any other tradespeople Only we shall have little enough to do with them
Why on earth has your father fixed on MiltonNorthern to live in
Partly said Margaret sighing because it is so very different from Helstone—partly because Mr Bell says there is an opening there for a private tutor
Private tutor in Milton Why cant he go to Oxford and be a tutor to gentlemen
You forget mamma He is leaving the Church on account of his opinions—his doubts would do him no good at Oxford
Mrs Hale was silent for some time quietly crying At last she said—
And the furniture—How in the world are we to manage the removal I never removed in my life and only a fortnight to think about it
Margaret was inexpressibly relieved to find that her mothers anxiety and distress was lowered to this point so insignificant to herself and on which she could do so much to help She planned and promised and led her mother on to arrange fully as much as could be fixed before they knew somewhat more definitively what Mr Hale intended to do Throughout the day Margaret never left her mother bending her whole soul to sympathise in all the various turns her feelings took towards evening especially as she became more and more anxious that her father should find a soothing welcome home awaiting him after his return from his day of fatigue and distress She dwelt upon what he must have borne in secret for long her mother only replied coldly that he ought to have told her and that then at any rate he would have had an adviser to give him counsel and Margaret turned faint at heart when she heard her fathers step in the hall She dared not go to meet him and tell him what she had done all day for fear of her mothers jealous annoyance She heard him linger as if awaiting her or some sign of her and she dared not stir she saw by her mothers twitching lips and changing colour that she too was aware that her husband had returned Presently he opened the roomdoor and stood there uncertain whether to come in His face was gray and pale he had a timid fearful look in his eyes something almost pitiful to see in a mans face but that look of despondent uncertainty of mental and bodily languor touched his wifes heart She went to him and threw herself on his breast crying out—
Oh Richard Richard you should have told me sooner
And then in tears Margaret left her as she rushed upstairs to throw herself on her bed and hide her face in the pillows to stifle the hysteric sobs that would force their way at last after the rigid selfcontrol of the whole day How long she lay thus she could not tell She heard no noise though the housemaid came in to arrange the room The affrighted girl stole out again on tiptoe and went and told Mrs Dixon that Miss Hale was crying as if her heart would break she was sure she would make herself deadly ill if she went on at that rate In consequence of this Margaret felt herself touched and started up into a sitting posture she saw the accustomed room the figure of Dixon in shadow as the latter stood holding the candle a little behind her for fear of the effect on Miss Hales startled eyes swollen and blinded as they were
Oh Dixon I did not hear you come into the room said Margaret resuming her trembling selfrestraint Is it very late continued she lifting herself languidly off the bed yet letting her feet touch the ground without fairly standing down as she shaded her wet ruffled hair off her face and tried to look as though nothing were the matter as if she had only been asleep
I hardly can tell what time it is replied Dixon in an aggrieved tone of voice Since your mamma told me this terrible news when I dressed her for tea Ive lost all count of time Im sure I dont know what is to become of us all When Charlotte told me just now you were sobbing Miss Hale I thought no wonder poor thing And master thinking of turning Dissenter at his time of life when if it is not to be said hes done well in the Church hes not done badly after all I had a cousin miss who turned Methodist preacher after he was fifty years of age and a tailor all his life but then he had never been able to make a pair of trousers to fit for as long as he had been in the trade so it was no wonder but for master as I said to missus What would poor Sir John have said he never liked your marrying Mr Hale but if he could have known it would have come to this he would have sworn worse oaths than ever if that was possible
Dixon had been so much accustomed to comment upon Mr Hales proceedings to her mistress who listened to her or not as she was in the humour that she never noticed Margarets flashing eye and dilating nostril To hear her father talked of in this way by a servant to her face
Dixon she said in the low tone she always used when much excited which had a sound in it as of some distant turmoil or threatening storm breaking far away Dixon you forget to whom you are speaking She stood upright and firm on her feet now confronting the waitingmaid and fixing her with her steady discerning eye I am Mr Hales daughter Go You have made a strange mistake and one that I am sure your own good feeling will make you sorry for when you think about it
Dixon hung irresolutely about the room for a minute or two Margaret repeated You may leave me Dixon I wish you to go Dixon did not know whether to resent these decided words or to cry either course would have done with her mistress but as she said to herself Miss Margaret has a touch of the old gentleman about her as well as poor Master Frederick I wonder where they get it from and she who would have resented such words from any one less haughty and determined in manner was subdued enough to say in a half humble half injured tone
Maynt I unfasten your gown miss and do your hair
No not tonight thank you And Margaret gravely lighted her out of the room and bolted the door From henceforth Dixon obeyed and admired Margaret She said it was because she was so like poor Master Frederick but the truth was that Dixon as do many others liked to feel herself ruled by a powerful and decided nature
Margaret needed all Dixons help in action and silence in words for for some time the latter thought it her duty to show her sense of affront by saying as little as possible to her young lady so the energy came out in doing rather than in speaking A fortnight was a very short time to make arrangements for so serious a removal as Dixon said Any one but a gentleman—indeed almost any other gentleman— but catching a look at Margarets straight stern brow just here she coughed the remainder of the sentence away and meekly took the horehound drop that Margaret offered her to stop the little tickling at my chest miss But almost any one but Mr Hale would have had practical knowledge enough to see that in so short a time it would be difficult to fix on any house in MiltonNorthern or indeed elsewhere to which they could remove the furniture that had of necessity to be taken out of Helstone vicarage Mrs Hale overpowered by all the troubles and necessities for immediate household decisions that seemed to come upon her at once became really ill and Margaret almost felt it as a relief when her mother fairly took to her bed and left the management of affairs to her Dixon true to her post of bodyguard attended most faithfully to her mistress and only emerged from Mrs Hales bedroom to shake her head and murmur to herself in a manner which Margaret did not choose to hear For the one thing clear and straight before her was the necessity for leaving Helstone Mr Hales successor in the living was appointed and at any rate after her fathers decision there must be no lingering now for his sake as well as from every other consideration For he came home every evening more and more depressed after the necessary leavetaking which he had resolved to have with every individual parishioner Margaret inexperienced as she was in all the necessary matteroffact business to be got through did not know to whom to apply for advice The cook and Charlotte worked away with willing arms and stout hearts at all the moving and packing and as far as that went Margarets admirable sense enabled her to see what was best and to direct how it should be done But where were they to go to In a week they must be gone Straight to Milton or where So many arrangements depended on this decision that Margaret resolved to ask her father one evening in spite of his evident fatigue and low spirits He answered
My dear I have really had too much to think about to settle this What does your mother say What does she wish Poor Maria
He met with an echo even louder than his sigh Dixon had just come into the room for another cup of tea for Mrs Hale and catching Mr Hales last words and protected by his presence from Margarets upbraiding eyes made bold to say My poor mistress
You dont think her worse today said Mr Hale turning hastily
Im sure I cant say sir Its not for me to judge The illness seems so much more on the mind than on the body
Mr Hale looked infinitely distressed
You had better take mamma her tea while it is hot Dixon said Margaret in a tone of quiet authority
Oh I beg your pardon miss My thoughts was otherwise occupied in thinking of my poor—— of Mrs Hale
Papa said Margaret it is this suspense that is bad for you both Of course mamma must feel your change of opinions we cant help that she continued softly but now the course is clear at least to a certain point And I think papa that I could get mamma to help me in planning if you could tell me what to plan for She has never expressed any wish in any way and only thinks of what cant be helped Are we to go straight to Milton Have you taken a house there
No he replied I suppose we must go into lodgings and look about for a house
And pack up the furniture so that it can be left at the railway station till we have met with one
I suppose so Do what you think best Only remember we shall have much less money to spend
They had never had much superfluity as Margaret knew She felt that it was a great weight suddenly thrown upon her shoulders Four months ago all the decisions she needed to make were what dress she would wear for dinner and to help Edith to draw out the lists of who should take down whom in the dinner parties at home Nor was the household in which she lived one that called for much decision Except in the one grand case of Captain Lennoxs offer everything went on with the regularity of clockwork Once a year there was a long discussion between her aunt and Edith as to whether they should go to the Isle of Wight abroad or to Scotland but at such times Margaret herself was secure of drifting without any exertion of her own into the quiet harbour of home Now since that day when Mr Lennox came and startled her into a decision every day brought some question momentous to her and to those whom she loved to be settled
Her father went up after tea to sit with his wife Margaret remained alone in the drawingroom Suddenly she took a candle and went into her fathers study for a great atlas and lugging it back into the drawingroom she began to pore over the map of England She was ready to look up brightly when her father came downstairs
I have hit upon such a beautiful plan Look here—in Darkshire hardly the breadth of my finger from Milton is Heston which I have often heard of from people living in the north as such a pleasant little bathingplace Now dont you think we could get mamma there with Dixon while you and I go and look at houses and get one all ready for her in Milton She would get a breath of sea air to set her up for the winter and be spared all the fatigue and Dixon would enjoy taking care of her
Is Dixon to go with us asked Mr Hale in a kind of helpless dismay
Oh yes said Margaret Dixon quite intends it and I dont know what mamma would do without her
But we shall have to put up with a very different way of living I am afraid Everything is so much dearer in a town I doubt if Dixon can make herself comfortable To tell you the truth Margaret I sometimes feel as if that woman gave herself airs
To be sure she does papa replied Margaret and if she has to put up with a different style of living we shall have to put up with her airs which will be worse But she really loves us all and would be miserable to leave us I am sure—especially in this change so for mammas sake and for the sake of her faithfulness I do think she must go
Very well my dear Go on I am resigned How far is Heston from Milton The breadth of one of your fingers does not give me a very clear idea of distance
Well then I suppose it is thirty miles that is not much
Not in distance but in— Never mind If you really think it will do your mother good let it be fixed so
This was a great step Now Margaret could work and act and plan in good earnest And now Mrs Hale could rouse herself from her languor and forget her real suffering in thinking of the pleasure and the delight of going to the seaside Her only regret was that Mr Hale could not be with her all the fortnight she was to be there as he had been for a whole fortnight once when they were engaged and she was staying with Sir John and Lady Beresford at Torquay
CHAPTER VI—FAREWELL
Unwatchd the garden bough shall sway
The tender blossom flutter down
Unloved that beech will gather brown
The maple burn itself away
Unloved the sunflower shining fair
Ray round with flames her disk of seed
And many a rosecarnation feed
With summer spice the humming air
Till from the garden and the wild
A fresh association blow
And year by year the landscape grow
Familiar to the strangers child
As year by year the labourer tills
His wonted glebe or lops the glades
And year by year our memory fades
From all the circle of the hills
TENNYSON
The last day came the house was full of packingcases which were being carted off at the front door to the nearest railway station Even the pretty lawn at the side of the house was made unsightly and untidy by the straw that had been wafted upon it through the open door and windows The rooms had a strange echoing sound in them—and the light came harshly and strongly in through the uncurtained windows—seeming already unfamiliar and strange Mrs Hales dressingroom was left untouched to the last and there she and Dixon were packing up clothes and interrupting each other every now and then to exclaim at and turn over with fond regard some forgotten treasure in the shape of some relic of the children while they were yet little They did not make much progress with their work Downstairs Margaret stood calm and collected ready to counsel or advise the men who had been called in to help the cook and Charlotte These two last crying between whiles wondered how the young lady could keep up so this last day and settled it between them that she was not likely to care much for Helstone having been so long in London There she stood very pale and quiet with her large grave eyes observing everything—up to every present circumstance however small They could not understand how her heart was aching all the time with a heavy pressure that no sighs could lift off or relieve and how constant exertion for her perceptive faculties was the only way to keep herself from crying out with pain Moreover if she gave way who was to act Her father was examining papers books registers what not in the vestry with the clerk and when he came in there were his own books to pack up which no one but himself could do to his satisfaction Besides was Margaret one to give way before strange men or even household friends like the cook and Charlotte Not she But at last the four packers went into the kitchen to their tea and Margaret moved stiffly and slowly away from the place in the hall where she had been standing so long out through the bare echoing drawingroom into the twilight of an early November evening There was a filmy veil of soft dull mist obscuring but not hiding all objects giving them a lilac hue for the sun had not yet fully set a robin was singing—perhaps Margaret thought the very robin that her father had so often talked of as his winter pet and for which he had made with his own hands a kind of robinhouse by his studywindow The leaves were more gorgeous than ever the first touch of frost would lay them all low on the ground Already one or two kept constantly floating down amber and golden in the low slanting sunrays
Margaret went along the walk under the peartree wall She had never been along it since she paced it at Henry Lennoxs side Here at this bed of thyme he began to speak of what she must not think of now Her eyes were on that lateblowing rose as she was trying to answer and she had caught the idea of the vivid beauty of the feathery leaves of the carrots in the very middle of his last sentence Only a fortnight ago And all so changed Where was he now In London—going through the old round dining with the old Harley Street set or with gayer young friends of his own Even now while she walked sadly through that damp and drear garden in the dusk with everything falling and fading and turning to decay around her he might be gladly putting away his lawbooks after a day of satisfactory toil and freshening himself up as he had told her he often did by a run in the Temple Gardens taking in the while the grand inarticulate mighty roar of tens of thousands of busy men nigh at hand but not seen and catching ever at his quick turns glimpses of the lights of the city coming up out of the depths of the river He had often spoken to Margaret of these hasty walks snatched in the intervals between study and dinner At his best times and in his best moods had he spoken of them and the thought of them had struck upon her fancy Here there was no sound The robin had gone away into the vast stillness of night Now and then a cottage door in the distance was opened and shut as if to admit the tired labourer to his home but that sounded very far away A stealthy creeping cranching sound among the crisp fallen leaves of the forest beyond the garden seemed almost close at hand Margaret knew it was some poacher Sitting up in her bedroom this past autumn with the light of her candle extinguished and purely revelling in the solemn beauty of the heavens and the earth she had many a time seen the light noiseless leap of the poachers over the gardenfence their quick tramp across the dewy moonlit lawn their disappearance in the black still shadow beyond The wild adventurous freedom of their life had taken her fancy she felt inclined to wish them success she had no fear of them But tonight she was afraid she knew not why She heard Charlotte shutting the windows and fastening up for the night unconscious that any one had gone out into the garden A small branch—it might be of rotten wood or it might be broken by force—came heavily down in the nearest part of the forest Margaret ran swift as Camilla down to the window and rapped at it with a hurried tremulousness which startled Charlotte within
Let me in Let me in It is only me Charlotte Her heart did not still its fluttering till she was safe in the drawingroom with the windows fastened and bolted and the familiar walls hemming her round and shutting her in She had sate down upon a packing case cheerless Chill was the dreary and dismantled room—no fire nor other light but Charlottes long unsnuffed candle Charlotte looked at Margaret with surprise and Margaret feeling it rather than seeing it rose up
I was afraid you were shutting me out altogether Charlotte said she halfsmiling And then you would never have heard me in the kitchen and the doors into the lane and churchyard are locked long ago
Oh miss I should have been sure to have missed you soon The men would have wanted you to tell them how to go on And I have put tea in masters study as being the most comfortable room so to speak
Thank you Charlotte You are a kind girl I shall be sorry to leave you You must try and write to me if I can ever give you any little help or good advice I shall always be glad to get a letter from Helstone you know I shall be sure and send you my address when I know it
The study was all ready for tea There was a good blazing fire and unlighted candles on the table Margaret sat down on the rug partly to warm herself for the dampness of the evening hung about her dress and overfatigue had made her chilly She kept herself balanced by clasping her hands together round her knees her head dropped a little towards her chest the attitude was one of despondency whatever her frame of mind might be But when she heard her fathers step on the gravel outside she started up and hastily shaking her heavy black hair back and wiping a few tears away that had come on her cheeks she knew not how she went out to open the door for him He showed far more depression than she did She could hardly get him to talk although she tried to speak on subjects that would interest him at the cost of an effort every time which she thought would be her last
Have you been a very long walk today asked she on seeing his refusal to touch food of any kind
As far as Fordham Beeches I went to see Widow Maltby she is sadly grieved at not having wished you goodbye She says little Susan has kept watch down the lane for days past—Nay Margaret what is the matter dear The thought of the little child watching for her and continually disappointed—from no forgetfulness on her part but from sheer inability to leave home—was the last drop in poor Margarets cup and she was sobbing away as if her heart would break Mr Hale was distressingly perplexed He rose and walked nervously up and down the room Margaret tried to check herself but would not speak until she could do so with firmness She heard him talking as if to himself
I cannot bear it I cannot bear to see the sufferings of others I think I could go through my own with patience Oh is there no going back
No father said Margaret looking straight at him and speaking low and steadily It is bad to believe you in error It would be infinitely worse to have known you a hypocrite She dropped her voice at the last few words as if entertaining the idea of hypocrisy for a moment in connection with her father savoured of irreverence
Besides she went on it is only that I am tired tonight dont think that I am suffering from what you have done dear papa We cant either of us talk about it tonight I believe said she finding that tears and sobs would come in spite of herself I had better go and take mamma up this cup of tea She had hers very early when I was too busy to go to her and I am sure she will be glad of another now
Railroad time inexorably wrenched them away from lovely beloved Helstone the next morning They were gone they had seen the last of the long low parsonage home halfcovered with Chinaroses and pyracanthus—more homelike than ever in the morning sun that glittered on its windows each belonging to some wellloved room Almost before they had settled themselves into the car sent from Southampton to fetch them to the station they were gone away to return no more A sting at Margarets heart made her strive to look out to catch the last glimpse of the old church tower at the turn where she knew it might be seen above a wave of the forest trees but her father remembered this too and she silently acknowledged his greater right to the one window from which it could be seen She leant back and shut her eyes and the tears welled forth and hung glittering for an instant on the shadowing eyelashes before rolling slowly down her cheeks and dropping unheeded on her dress
They were to stop in London all night at some quiet hotel Poor Mrs Hale had cried in her way nearly all day long and Dixon showed her sorrow by extreme crossness and a continual irritable attempt to keep her petticoats from even touching the unconscious Mr Hale whom she regarded as the origin of all this suffering
They went through the wellknown streets past houses which they had often visited past shops in which she had lounged impatient by her aunts side while that lady was making some important and interminable decision—nay absolutely past acquaintances in the streets for though the morning had been of an incalculable length to them and they felt as if it ought long ago to have closed in for the repose of darkness it was the very busiest time of a London afternoon in November when they arrived there It was long since Mrs Hale had been in London and she roused up almost like a child to look about her at the different streets and to gaze after and exclaim at the shops and carriages
Oh theres Harrisons where I bought so many of my weddingthings Dear how altered Theyve got immense plateglass windows larger than Crawfords in Southampton Oh and there I declare—no it is not—yes it is—Margaret we have just passed Mr Henry Lennox Where can he be going among all these shops
Margaret started forwards and as quickly fell back halfsmiling at herself for the sudden motion They were a hundred yards away by this time but he seemed like a relic of Helstone—he was associated with a bright morning an eventful day and she should have liked to have seen him without his seeing her—without the chance of their speaking
The evening without employment passed in a room high up in an hotel was long and heavy Mr Hale went out to his booksellers and to call on a friend or two Every one they saw either in the house or out in the streets appeared hurrying to some appointment expected by or expecting somebody They alone seemed strange and friendless and desolate Yet within a mile Margaret knew of house after house where she for her own sake and her mother for her aunt Shaws would be welcomed if they came in gladness or even in peace of mind If they came sorrowing and wanting sympathy in a complicated trouble like the present then they would be felt as a shadow in all these houses of intimate acquaintances not friends London life is too whirling and full to admit of even an hour of that deep silence of feeling which the friends of Job showed when they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights and none spake a word unto him for they saw that his grief was very great
CHAPTER VII—NEW SCENES AND FACES
Mist clogs the sunshine
Smoky dwarf houses
Have we round on every side
MATTHEW ARNOLD
The next afternoon about twenty miles from MiltonNorthern they entered on the little branch railway that led to Heston Heston itself was one long straggling street running parallel to the seashore It had a character of its own as different from the little bathingplaces in the south of England as they again from those of the continent To use a Scotch word every thing looked more purposelike The country carts had more iron and less wood and leather about the horsegear the people in the streets although on pleasure bent had yet a busy mind The colours looked grayer—more enduring not so gay and pretty There were no smockfrocks even among the country folk they retarded motion and were apt to catch on machinery and so the habit of wearing them had died out In such towns in the south of England Margaret had seen the shopmen when not employed in their business lounging a little at their doors enjoying the fresh air and the look up and down the street Here if they had any leisure from customers they made themselves business in the shop—even Margaret fancied to the unnecessary unrolling and rerolling of ribbons All these differences struck upon her mind as she and her mother went out next morning to look for lodgings
Their two nights at hotels had cost more than Mr Hale had anticipated and they were glad to take the first clean cheerful rooms they met with that were at liberty to receive them There for the first time for many days did Margaret feel at rest There was a dreaminess in the rest too which made it still more perfect and luxurious to repose in The distant sea lapping the sandy shore with measured sound the nearer cries of the donkeyboys the unusual scenes moving before her like pictures which she cared not in her laziness to have fully explained before they passed away the stroll down to the beach to breathe the seaair soft and warm on that sandy shore even to the end of November the great long misty sealine touching the tendercoloured sky the white sail of a distant boat turning silver in some pale sunbeam—it seemed as if she could dream her life away in such luxury of pensiveness in which she made her present all in all from not daring to think of the past or wishing to contemplate the future
But the future must be met however stern and iron it be One evening it was arranged that Margaret and her father should go the next day to MiltonNorthern and look out for a house Mr Hale had received several letters from Mr Bell and one or two from Mr Thornton and he was anxious to ascertain at once a good many particulars respecting his position and chances of success there which he could only do by an interview with the latter gentleman Margaret knew that they ought to be removing but she had a repugnance to the idea of a manufacturing town and believed that her mother was receiving benefit from Heston air so she would willingly have deferred the expedition to Milton
For several miles before they reached Milton they saw a deep leadcoloured cloud hanging over the horizon in the direction in which it lay It was all the darker from contrast with the pale grayblue of the wintry sky for in Heston there had been the earliest signs of frost Nearer to the town the air had a faint taste and smell of smoke perhaps after all more a loss of the fragrance of grass and herbage than any positive taste or smell Quick they were whirled over long straight hopeless streets of regularlybuilt houses all small and of brick Here and there a great oblong manywindowed factory stood up like a hen among her chickens puffing out black unparliamentary smoke and sufficiently accounting for the cloud which Margaret had taken to foretell rain As they drove through the larger and wider streets from the station to the hotel they had to stop constantly great loaded lurries blocked up the not overwide thoroughfares Margaret had now and then been into the city in her drives with her aunt But there the heavy lumbering vehicles seemed various in their purposes and intent here every van every waggon and truck bore cotton either in the raw shape in bags or the woven shape in bales of calico People thronged the footpaths most of them welldressed as regarded the material but with a slovenly looseness which struck Margaret as different from the shabby threadbare smartness of a similar class in London
New Street said Mr Hale This I believe is the principal street in Milton Bell has often spoken to me about it It was the opening of this street from a lane into a great thoroughfare thirty years ago which has caused his property to rise so much in value Mr Thorntons mill must be somewhere not very far off for he is Mr Bells tenant But I fancy he dates from his warehouse
Where is our hotel papa
Close to the end of this street I believe Shall we have lunch before or after we have looked at the houses we marked in the Milton Times
Oh let us get our work done first
Very well Then I will only see if there is any note or letter for me from Mr Thornton who said he would let me know anything he might hear about these houses and then we will set off We will keep the cab it will be safer than losing ourselves and being too late for the train this afternoon
There were no letters awaiting him They set out on their househunting Thirty pounds ayear was all they could afford to give but in Hampshire they could have met with a roomy house and pleasant garden for the money Here even the necessary accommodation of two sittingrooms and four bedrooms seemed unattainable They went through their list rejecting each as they visited it Then they looked at each other in dismay
We must go back to the second I think That one—in Crampton dont they call the suburb There were three sittingrooms dont you remember how we laughed at the number compared with the three bedrooms But I have planned it all The front room downstairs is to be your study and our diningroom poor papa for you know we settled mamma is to have as cheerful a sittingroom as we can get and that front room upstairs with the atrocious blue and pink paper and heavy cornice had really a pretty view over the plain with a great bend of river or canal or whatever it is down below Then I could have the little bedroom behind in that projection at the head of the first flight of stairs—over the kitchen you know—and you and mamma the room behind the drawingroom and that closet in the roof will make you a splendid dressingroom
But Dixon and the girl we are to have to help
Oh wait a minute I am overpowered by the discovery of my own genius for management Dixon is to have—let me see I had it once—the back sittingroom I think she will like that She grumbles so much about the stairs at Heston and the girl is to have that sloping attic over your room and mammas Wont that do
I dare say it will But the papers What taste And the overloading such a house with colour and such heavy cornices
Never mind papa Surely you can charm the landlord into repapering one or two of the rooms—the drawingroom and your bedroom—for mamma will come most in contact with them and your bookshelves will hide a great deal of that gaudy pattern in the diningroom
Then you think it the best If so I had better go at once and call on this Mr Donkin to whom the advertisement refers me I will take you back to the hotel where you can order lunch and rest and by the time it is ready I shall be with you I hope I shall be able to get new papers
Margaret hoped so too though she said nothing She had never come fairly in contact with the taste that loves ornament however bad more than the plainness and simplicity which are of themselves the framework of elegance Her father took her through the entrance of the hotel and leaving her at the foot of the staircase went to the address of the landlord of the house they had fixed upon Just as Margaret had her hand on the door of their sittingroom she was followed by a quickstepping waiter
I beg your pardon maam The gentleman was gone so quickly I had no time to tell him Mr Thornton called almost directly after you left and as I understood from what the gentleman said you would be back in an hour I told him so and he came again about five minutes ago and said he would wait for Mr Hale He is in your room now maam
Thank you My father will return soon and then you can tell him Margaret opened the door and went in with the straight fearless dignified presence habitual to her She felt no awkwardness she had too much the habits of society for that Here was a person come on business to her father and as he was one who had shown himself obliging she was disposed to treat him with a full measure of civility Mr Thornton was a good deal more surprised and discomfited than she Instead of a quiet middleaged clergyman a young lady came forward with frank dignity—a young lady of a different type to most of those he was in the habit of seeing Her dress was very plain a close straw bonnet of the best material and shape trimmed with white ribbon a dark silk gown without any trimming or flounce a large Indian shawl which hung about her in long heavy folds and which she wore as an empress wears her drapery He did not understand who she was as he caught the simple straight unabashed look which showed that his being there was of no concern to the beautiful countenance and called up no flush of surprise to the pale ivory of the complexion He had heard that Mr Hale had a daughter but he had imagined that she was a little girl
Mr Thornton I believe said Margaret after a halfinstants pause during which his unready words would not come Will you sit down My father brought me to the door not a minute ago but unfortunately he was not told that you were here and he has gone away on some business But he will come back almost directly I am sorry you have had the trouble of calling twice
Mr Thornton was in habits of authority himself but she seemed to assume some kind of rule over him at once He had been getting impatient at the loss of his time on a marketday the moment before she appeared yet now he calmly took a seat at her bidding
Do you know where it is that Mr Hale has gone to Perhaps I might be able to find him
He has gone to a Mr Donkins in Canute Street He is the landlord of the house my father wishes to take in Crampton
Mr Thornton knew the house He had seen the advertisement and been to look at it in compliance with a request of Mr Bells that he would assist Mr Hale to the best of his power and also instigated by his own interest in the case of a clergyman who had given up his living under circumstances such as those of Mr Hale Mr Thornton had thought that the house in Crampton was really just the thing but now that he saw Margaret with her superb ways of moving and looking he began to feel ashamed of having imagined that it would do very well for the Hales in spite of a certain vulgarity in it which had struck him at the time of his looking it over
Margaret could not help her looks but the short curled upper lip the round massive upturned chin the manner of carrying her head her movements full of a soft feminine defiance always gave strangers the impression of haughtiness She was tired now and would rather have remained silent and taken the rest her father had planned for her but of course she owed it to herself to be a gentlewoman and to speak courteously from time to time to this stranger not overbrushed nor overpolished it must be confessed after his rough encounter with Milton streets and crowds She wished that he would go as he had once spoken of doing instead of sitting there answering with curt sentences all the remarks she made She had taken off her shawl and hung it over the back of her chair She sat facing him and facing the light her full beauty met his eye her round white flexile throat rising out of the full yet lithe figure her lips moving so slightly as she spoke not breaking the cold serene look of her face with any variation from the one lovely haughty curve her eyes with their soft gloom meeting his with quiet maiden freedom He almost said to himself that he did not like her before their conversation ended he tried so to compensate himself for the mortified feeling that while he looked upon her with an admiration he could not repress she looked at him with proud indifference taking him he thought for what in his irritation he told himself he was—a great rough fellow with not a grace or a refinement about him Her quiet coldness of demeanour he interpreted into contemptuousness and resented it in his heart to the pitch of almost inclining him to get up and go away and have nothing more to do with these Hales and their superciliousness
Just as Margaret had exhausted her last subject of conversation—and yet conversation that could hardly be called which consisted of so few and such short speeches—her father came in and with his pleasant gentlemanly courteousness of apology reinstated his name and family in Mr Thorntons good opinion
Mr Hale and his visitor had a good deal to say respecting their mutual friend Mr Bell and Margaret glad that her part of entertaining the visitor was over went to the window to try and make herself more familiar with the strange aspect of the street She got so much absorbed in watching what was going on outside that she hardly heard her father when he spoke to her and he had to repeat what he said
Margaret the landlord will persist in admiring that hideous paper and I am afraid we must let it remain
Oh dear I am sorry she replied and began to turn over in her mind the possibility of hiding part of it at least by some of her sketches but gave up the idea at last as likely only to make bad worse Her father meanwhile with his kindly country hospitality was pressing Mr Thornton to stay to luncheon with them It would have been very inconvenient to him to do so yet he felt that he should have yielded if Margaret by word or look had seconded her fathers invitation he was glad she did not and yet he was irritated at her for not doing it She gave him a low grave bow when he left and he felt more awkward and selfconscious in every limb than he had ever done in all his life before
Well Margaret now to luncheon as fast we can Have you ordered it
No papa that man was here when I came home and I have never had an opportunity
Then we must take anything we can get He must have been waiting a long time Im afraid
It seemed exceedingly long to me I was just at the last gasp when you came in He never went on with any subject but gave little short abrupt answers
Very much to the point though I should think He is a clearheaded fellow He said did you hear that Crampton is on gravelly soil and by far the most healthy suburb in the neighbour hood of Milton
When they returned to Heston there was the days account to be given to Mrs Hale who was full of questions which they answered in the intervals of teadrinking
And what is your correspondent Mr Thornton like
Ask Margaret said her husband She and he had a long attempt at conversation while I was away speaking to the landlord
Oh I hardly know what he is like said Margaret lazily too tired to tax her powers of description much And then rousing herself she said He is a tall broadshouldered man about—how old papa
I should guess about thirty
About thirty—with a face that is neither exactly plain nor yet handsome nothing remarkable—not quite a gentleman but that was hardly to be expected
Not vulgar or common though put in her father rather jealous of any disparagement of the sole friend he had in Milton
Oh no said Margaret With such an expression of resolution and power no face however plain in feature could be either vulgar or common I should not like to have to bargain with him he looks very inflexible Altogether a man who seems made for his niche mamma sagacious and strong as becomes a great tradesman
Dont call the Milton manufacturers tradesmen Margaret said her father
They are very different
Are they I apply the word to all who have something tangible to sell but if you think the term is not correct papa I wont use it But oh mamma speaking of vulgarity and commonness you must prepare yourself for our drawingroom paper Pink and blue roses with yellow leaves And such a heavy cornice round the room
But when they removed to their new house in Milton the obnoxious papers were gone The landlord received their thanks very composedly and let them think if they liked that he had relented from his expressed determination not to repaper There was no particular need to tell them that what he did not care to do for a Reverend Mr Hale unknown in Milton he was only too glad to do at the one short sharp remonstrance of Mr Thornton the wealthy manufacturer
CHAPTER VIII—HOME SICKNESS
And its hame hame hame
Hame fain wad I be
It needed the pretty light papering of the rooms to reconcile them to Milton It needed more—more that could not be had The thick yellow November fogs had come on and the view of the plain in the valley made by the sweeping bend of the river was all shut out when Mrs Hale arrived at her new home
Margaret and Dixon had been at work for two days unpacking and arranging but everything inside the house still looked in disorder and outside a thick fog crept up to the very windows and was driven in to every open door in choking white wreaths of unwholesome mist
Oh Margaret are we to live here asked Mrs Hale in blank dismay Margarets heart echoed the dreariness of the tone in which this question was put She could scarcely command herself enough to say Oh the fogs in London are sometimes far worse
But then you knew that London itself and friends lay behind it Here—well we are desolate Oh Dixon what a place this is
Indeed maam Im sure it will be your death before long and then I know wholl—stay Miss Hale thats far too heavy for you to lift
Not at all thank you Dixon replied Margaret coldly The best thing we can do for mamma is to get her room quite ready for her to go to bed while I go and bring her a cup of coffee
Mr Hale was equally out of spirits and equally came upon Margaret for sympathy
Margaret I do believe this is an unhealthy place Only suppose that your mothers health or yours should suffer I wish I had gone into some country place in Wales this is really terrible said he going up to the window There was no comfort to be given They were settled in Milton and must endure smoke and fogs for a season indeed all other life seemed shut out from them by as thick a fog of circumstance Only the day before Mr Hale had been reckoning up with dismay how much their removal and fortnight at Heston had cost and he found it had absorbed nearly all his little stock of ready money No here they were and here they must remain
At night when Margaret realised this she felt inclined to sit down in a stupor of despair The heavy smoky air hung about her bedroom which occupied the long narrow projection at the back of the house The window placed at the side of the oblong looked to the blank wall of a similar projection not above ten feet distant It loomed through the fog like a great barrier to hope Inside the room everything was in confusion All their efforts had been directed to make her mothers room comfortable Margaret sat down on a box the direction card upon which struck her as having been written at Helstone—beautiful beloved Helstone She lost herself in dismal thought but at last she determined to take her mind away from the present and suddenly remembered that she had a letter from Edith which she had only half read in the bustle of the morning It was to tell of their arrival at Corfu their voyage along the Mediterranean—their music and dancing on board ship the gay new life opening upon her her house with its trellised balcony and its views over white cliffs and deep blue sea Edith wrote fluently and well if not graphically She could not only seize the salient and characteristic points of a scene but she could enumerate enough of indiscriminate particulars for Margaret to make it out for herself Captain Lennox and another lately married officer shared a villa high up on the beautiful precipitous rocks overhanging the sea Their days late as it was in the year seemed spent in boating or land picnics all outofdoors pleasureseeking and glad Ediths life seemed like the deep vault of blue sky above her free—utterly free from fleck or cloud Her husband had to attend drill and she the most musical officers wife there had to copy the new and popular tunes out of the most recent English music for the benefit of the bandmaster those seemed their most severe and arduous duties She expressed an affectionate hope that if the regiment stopped another year at Corfu Margaret might come out and pay her a long visit She asked Margaret if she remembered the day twelvemonth on which she Edith wrote—how it rained all day long in Harley Street and how she would not put on her new gown to go to a stupid dinner and get it all wet and splashed in going to the carriage and how at that very dinner they had first met Captain Lennox
Yes Margaret remembered it well Edith and Mrs Shaw had gone to dinner Margaret had joined the party in the evening The recollection of the plentiful luxury of all the arrangements the stately handsomeness of the furniture the size of the house the peaceful untroubled ease of the visitors—all came vividly before her in strange contrast to the present time The smooth sea of that old life closed up without a mark left to tell where they had all been The habitual dinners the calls the shopping the dancing evenings were all going on going on for ever though her Aunt Shaw and Edith were no longer there and she of course was even less missed She doubted if any one of that old set ever thought of her except Henry Lennox He too she knew would strive to forget her because of the pain she had caused him She had heard him often boast of his power of putting any disagreeable thought far away from him Then she penetrated farther into what might have been If she had cared for him as a lover and had accepted him and this change in her fathers opinions and consequent station had taken place she could not doubt but that it would have been impatiently received by Mr Lennox It was a bitter mortification to her in one sense but she could bear it patiently because she knew her fathers purity of purpose and that strengthened her to endure his errors grave and serious though in her estimation they were But the fact of the world esteeming her father degraded in its rough wholesale judgment would have oppressed and irritated Mr Lennox As she realised what might have been she grew to be thankful for what was They were at the lowest now they could not be worse Ediths astonishment and her aunt Shaws dismay would have to be met bravely when their letters came So Margaret rose up and began slowly to undress herself feeling the full luxury of acting leisurely late as it was after all the past hurry of the day She fell asleep hoping for some brightness either internal or external But if she had known how long it would be before the brightness came her heart would have sunk low down The time of the year was most unpropitious to health as well as to spirits Her mother caught a severe cold and Dixon herself was evidently not well although Margaret could not insult her more than by trying to save her or by taking any care of her They could hear of no girl to assist her all were at work in the factories at least those who applied were well scolded by Dixon for thinking that such as they could ever be trusted to work in a gentlemans house So they had to keep a charwoman in almost constant employ Margaret longed to send for Charlotte but besides the objection of her being a better servant than they could now afford to keep the distance was too great
Mr Hale met with several pupils recommended to him by Mr Bell or by the more immediate influence of Mr Thornton They were mostly of the age when many boys would be still at school but according to the prevalent and apparently wellfounded notions of Milton to make a lad into a good tradesman he must be caught young and acclimated to the life of the mill or office or warehouse If he were sent to even the Scotch Universities he came back unsettled for commercial pursuits how much more so if he went to Oxford or Cambridge where he could not be entered till he was eighteen So most of the manufacturers placed their sons in sucking situations at fourteen or fifteen years of age unsparingly cutting away all offshoots in the direction of literature or high mental cultivation in hopes of throwing the whole strength and vigour of the plant into commerce Still there were some wiser parents and some young men who had sense enough to perceive their own deficiencies and strive to remedy them Nay there were a few no longer youths but men in the prime of life who had the stern wisdom to acknowledge their own ignorance and to learn late what they should have learnt early Mr Thornton was perhaps the oldest of Mr Hales pupils He was certainly the favourite Mr Hale got into the habit of quoting his opinions so frequently and with such regard that it became a little domestic joke to wonder what time during the hour appointed for instruction could be given to absolute learning so much of it appeared to have been spent in conversation
Margaret rather encouraged this light merry way of viewing her fathers acquaintance with Mr Thornton because she felt that her mother was inclined to look upon this new friendship of her husbands with jealous eyes As long as his time had been solely occupied with his books and his parishioners as at Helstone she had appeared to care little whether she saw much of him or not but now that he looked eagerly forward to each renewal of his intercourse with Mr Thornton she seemed hurt and annoyed as if he were slighting her companionship for the first time Mr Hales overpraise had the usual effect of overpraise upon his auditors they were a little inclined to rebel against Aristides being always called the Just
After a quiet life in a country parsonage for more than twenty years there was something dazzling to Mr Hale in the energy which conquered immense difficulties with ease the power of the machinery of Milton the power of the men of Milton impressed him with a sense of grandeur which he yielded to without caring to inquire into the details of its exercise But Margaret went less abroad among machinery and men saw less of power in its public effect and as it happened she was thrown with one or two of those who in all measures affecting masses of people must be acute sufferers for the good of many The question always is has everything been done to make the sufferings of these exceptions as small as possible Or in the triumph of the crowded procession have the helpless been trampled on instead of being gently lifted aside out of the roadway of the conqueror whom they have no power to accompany on his march
It fell to Margarets share to have to look out for a servant to assist Dixon who had at first undertaken to find just the person she wanted to do all the rough work of the house But Dixons ideas of helpful girls were founded on the recollection of tidy elder scholars at Helstone school who were only too proud to be allowed to come to the parsonage on a busy day and treated Mrs Dixon with all the respect and a good deal more of fright which they paid to Mr and Mrs Hale Dixon was not unconscious of this awed reverence which was given to her nor did she dislike it it flattered her much as Louis the Fourteenth was flattered by his courtiers shading their eyes from the dazzling light of his presence But nothing short of her faithful love for Mrs Hale could have made her endure the rough independent way in which all the Milton girls who made application for the servants place replied to her inquiries respecting their qualifications They even went the length of questioning her back again having doubts and fears of their own as to the solvency of a family who lived in a house of thirty pounds ayear and yet gave themselves airs and kept two servants one of them so very high and mighty Mr Hale was no longer looked upon as Vicar of Helstone but as a man who only spent at a certain rate Margaret was weary and impatient of the accounts which Dixon perpetually brought to Mrs Hale of the behaviour of these wouldbe servants Not but what Margaret was repelled by the rough uncourteous manners of these people not but what she shrunk with fastidious pride from their hailfellow accost and severely resented their unconcealed curiosity as to the means and position of any family who lived in Milton and yet were not engaged in trade of some kind But the more Margaret felt impertinence the more likely she was to be silent on the subject and at any rate if she took upon herself to make inquiry for a servant she could spare her mother the recital of all her disappointments and fancied or real insults
Margaret accordingly went up and down to butchers and grocers seeking for a nonpareil of a girl and lowering her hopes and expectations every week as she found the difficulty of meeting with any one in a manufacturing town who did not prefer the better wages and greater independence of working in a mill It was something of a trial to Margaret to go out by herself in this busy bustling place Mrs Shaws ideas of propriety and her own helpless dependence on others had always made her insist that a footman should accompany Edith and Margaret if they went beyond Harley Street or the immediate neighbourhood The limits by which this rule of her aunts had circumscribed Margarets independence had been silently rebelled against at the time and she had doubly enjoyed the free walks and rambles of her forest life from the contrast which they presented She went along there with a bounding fearless step that occasionally broke out into a run if she were in a hurry and occasionally was stilled into perfect repose as she stood listening to or watching any of the wild creatures who sang in the leafy courts or glanced out with their keen bright eyes from the low brushwood or tangled furze It was a trial to come down from such motion or such stillness only guided by her own sweet will to the even and decorous pace necessary in streets But she could have laughed at herself for minding this change if it had not been accompanied by what was a more serious annoyance The side of the town on which Crampton lay was especially a thoroughfare for the factory people In the back streets around them there were many mills out of which poured streams of men and women two or three times a day Until Margaret had learnt the times of their ingress and egress she was very unfortunate in constantly falling in with them They came rushing along with bold fearless faces and loud laughs and jests particularly aimed at all those who appeared to be above them in rank or station The tones of their unrestrained voices and their carelessness of all common rules of street politeness frightened Margaret a little at first The girls with their rough but not unfriendly freedom would comment on her dress even touch her shawl or gown to ascertain the exact material nay once or twice she was asked questions relative to some article which they particularly admired There was such a simple reliance on her womanly sympathy with their love of dress and on her kindliness that she gladly replied to these inquiries as soon as she understood them and half smiled back at their remarks She did not mind meeting any number of girls loud spoken and boisterous though they might be But she alternately dreaded and fired up against the workmen who commented not on her dress but on her looks in the same open fearless manner She who had hitherto felt that even the most refined remark on her personal appearance was an impertinence had to endure undisguised admiration from these outspoken men But the very outspokenness marked their innocence of any intention to hurt her delicacy as she would have perceived if she had been less frightened by the disorderly tumult Out of her fright came a flash of indignation which made her face scarlet and her dark eyes gather flame as she heard some of their speeches Yet there were other sayings of theirs which when she reached the quiet safety of home amused her even while they irritated her
For instance one day after she had passed a number of men several of whom had paid her the not unusual compliment of wishing she was their sweetheart one of the lingerers added Your bonny face my lass makes the day look brighter And another day as she was unconsciously smiling at some passing thought she was addressed by a poorlydressed middleaged workman with You may well smile my lass many a one would smile to have such a bonny face This man looked so careworn that Margaret could not help giving him an answering smile glad to think that her looks such as they were should have had the power to call up a pleasant thought He seemed to understand her acknowledging glance and a silent recognition was established between them whenever the chances of the day brought them across each others paths They had never exchanged a word nothing had been said but that first compliment yet somehow Margaret looked upon this man with more interest than upon any one else in Milton Once or twice on Sundays she saw him walking with a girl evidently his daughter and if possible still more unhealthy than he was himself
One day Margaret and her father had been as far as the fields that lay around the town it was early spring and she had gathered some of the hedge and ditch flowers dogviolets lesser celandines and the like with an unspoken lament in her heart for the sweet profusion of the South Her father had left her to go into Milton upon some business and on the road home she met her humble friends The girl looked wistfully at the flowers and acting on a sudden impulse Margaret offered them to her Her pale blue eyes lightened up as she took them and her father spoke for her
Thank yo Miss Bessyll think a deal o them flowers that hoo will and I shall think a deal o yor kindness Yore not of this country I reckon
No said Margaret half sighing I come from the South—from Hampshire she continued a little afraid of wounding his consciousness of ignorance if she used a name which he did not understand
Thats beyond London I reckon And I come fro Burnleyways and forty mile to th North And yet yo see North and South has both met and made kind o friends in this big smoky place
Margaret had slackened her pace to walk alongside of the man and his daughter whose steps were regulated by the feebleness of the latter She now spoke to the girl and there was a sound of tender pity in the tone of her voice as she did so that went right to the heart of the father
Im afraid you are not very strong
No said the girl nor never will be
Spring is coming said Margaret as if to suggest pleasant hopeful thoughts
Spring nor summer will do me good said the girl quietly
Margaret looked up at the man almost expecting some contradiction from him or at least some remark that would modify his daughters utter hopelessness But instead he added—
Im afeared hoo speaks truth Im afeared hoos too far gone in a waste
I shall have a spring where Im boun to and flowers and amaranths and shining robes besides
Poor lass poor lass said her father in a low tone Im none so sure o that but its a comfort to thee poor lass poor lass Poor father itll be soon
Margaret was shocked by his words—shocked but not repelled rather attracted and interested
Where do you live I think we must be neighbours we meet so often on this road
We put up at nine Frances Street second turn to th left at after yove past th Goulden Dragon
And your name I must not forget that
Im none ashamed o my name Its Nicholas Higgins Hoos called Bessy Higgins Whatten yo asking for
Margaret was surprised at this last question for at Helstone it would have been an understood thing after the inquiries she had made that she intended to come and call upon any poor neighbour whose name and habitation she had asked for
I thought—I meant to come and see you She suddenly felt rather shy of offering the visit without having any reason to give for her wish to make it beyond a kindly interest in a stranger It seemed all at once to take the shape of an impertinence on her part she read this meaning too in the mans eyes
Im none so fond of having strange folk in my house But then relenting as he saw her heightened colour he added Yore a foreigner as one may say and maybe dont know many folk here and yove given my wench here flowers out of yor own hand—yo may come if yo like
Margaret was halfamused halfnettled at this answer She was not sure if she would go where permission was given so like a favour conferred But when they came to the town into Frances Street the girl stopped a minute and said
Yoll not forget yore to come and see us
Aye aye said the father impatiently hooll come Hoos a bit set up now because hoo thinks I might ha spoken more civilly but hooll think better on it and come I can read her proud bonny face like a book Come along Bess theres the mill bell ringing
Margaret went home wondering at her new friends and smiling at the mans insight into what had been passing in her mind From that day Milton became a brighter place to her It was not the long bleak sunny days of spring nor yet was it that time was reconciling her to the town of her habitation It was that in it she had found a human interest
CHAPTER IX—DRESSING FOR TEA
Let Chinas earth enrichd with colourd stains
Pencild with gold and streakd with azure veins
The grateful flavour of the Indian leaf
Or Mochos sunburnt berry glad receive
MRS BARBAULD
The day after this meeting with Higgins and his daughter Mr Hale came upstairs into the little drawingroom at an unusual hour He went up to different objects in the room as if examining them but Margaret saw that it was merely a nervous trick—a way of putting off something he wished yet feared to say Out it came at last—
My dear Ive asked Mr Thornton to come to tea tonight
Mrs Hale was leaning back in her easy chair with her eyes shut and an expression of pain on her face which had become habitual to her of late But she roused up into querulousness at this speech of her husbands
Mr Thornton—and tonight What in the world does the man want to come here for And Dixon is washing my muslins and laces and there is no soft water with these horrid east winds which I suppose we shall have all the year round in Milton
The wind is veering round my dear said Mr Hale looking out at the smoke which drifted right from the east only he did not yet understand the points of the compass and rather arranged them ad libitum according to circumstances
Dont tell me said Mrs Hale shuddering up and wrapping her shawl about her still more closely But east or west wind I suppose this man comes
Oh mamma that shows you never saw Mr Thornton He looks like a person who would enjoy battling with every adverse thing he could meet with—enemies winds or circumstances The more it rains and blows the more certain we are to have him But Ill go and help Dixon Im getting to be a famous clearstarcher And he wont want any amusement beyond talking to papa Papa I am really longing to see the Pythias to your Damon You know I never saw him but once and then we were so puzzled to know what to say to each other that we did not get on particularly well
I dont know that you would ever like him or think him agreeable Margaret He is not a ladys man
Margaret wreathed her throat in a scornful curve
I dont particularly admire ladies men papa But Mr Thornton comes here as your friend—as one who has appreciated you—
The only person in Milton said Mrs Hale
So we will give him a welcome and some cocoanut cakes Dixon will be flattered if we ask her to make some and I will undertake to iron your caps mamma
Many a time that morning did Margaret wish Mr Thornton far enough away She had planned other employments for herself a letter to Edith a good piece of Dante a visit to the Higginses But instead she ironed away listening to Dixons complaints and only hoping that by an excess of sympathy she might prevent her from carrying the recital of her sorrows to Mrs Hale Every now and then Margaret had to remind herself of her fathers regard for Mr Thornton to subdue the irritation of weariness that was stealing over her and bringing on one of the bad headaches to which she had lately become liable She could hardly speak when she sat down at last and told her mother that she was no longer Peggy the laundrymaid but Margaret Hale the lady She meant this speech for a little joke and was vexed enough with her busy tongue when she found her mother taking it seriously
Yes if any one had told me when I was Miss Beresford and one of the belles of the county that a child of mine would have to stand half a day in a little poky kitchen working away like any servant that we might prepare properly for the reception of a tradesman and that this tradesman should be the only—Oh mamma said Margaret lifting herself up dont punish me so for a careless speech I dont mind ironing or any kind of work for you and papa I am myself a born and bred lady through it all even though it comes to scouring a floor or washing dishes I am tired now just for a little while but in half an hour I shall be ready to do the same over again And as to Mr Thorntons being in trade why he cant help that now poor fellow I dont suppose his education would fit him for much else Margaret lifted herself slowly up and went to her own room for just now she could not bear much more
In Mr Thorntons house at this very same time a similar yet different scene was going on A largeboned lady long past middle age sat at work in a grim handsomelyfurnished diningroom Her features like her frame were strong and massive rather than heavy Her face moved slowly from one decided expression to another equally decided There was no great variety in her countenance but those who looked at it once generally looked at it again even the passersby in the street halfturned their heads to gaze an instant longer at the firm severe dignified woman who never gave way in streetcourtesy or paused in her straightonward course to the clearlydefined end which she proposed to herself She was handsomely dressed in stout black silk of which not a thread was worn or discoloured She was mending a large long tablecloth of the finest texture holding it up against the light occasionally to discover thin places which required her delicate care There was not a book about in the room with the exception of Matthew Henrys Bible Commentaries six volumes of which lay in the centre of the massive sideboard flanked by a teaurn on one side and a lamp on the other In some remote apartment there was exercise upon the piano going on Some one was practising up a morceau de salon playing it very rapidly every third note on an average being either indistinct or wholly missed out and the loud chords at the end being half of them false but not the less satisfactory to the performer Mrs Thornton heard a step like her own in its decisive character pass the diningroom door
John Is that you
Her son opened the door and showed himself
What has brought you home so early I thought you were going to tea with that friend of Mr Bells that Mr Hale
So I am mother I am come home to dress
Dress humph When I was a girl young men were satisfied with dressing once in a day Why should you dress to go and take a cup of tea with an old parson
Mr Hale is a gentleman and his wife and daughter are ladies
Wife and daughter Do they teach too What do they do You have never mentioned them
No mother because I have never seen Mrs Hale I have only seen Miss Hale for half an hour
Take care you dont get caught by a penniless girl John
I am not easily caught mother as I think you know But I must not have Miss Hale spoken of in that way which you know is offensive to me I never was aware of any young lady trying to catch me yet nor do I believe that any one has ever given themselves that useless trouble
Mrs Thornton did not choose to yield the point to her son or else she had in general pride enough for her sex
Well I only say take care Perhaps our Milton girls have too much spirit and good feeling to go angling after husbands but this Miss Hale comes out of the aristocratic counties where if all tales be true rich husbands are reckoned prizes
Mr Thorntons brow contracted and he came a step forward into the room
Mother with a short scornful laugh you will make me confess The only time I saw Miss Hale she treated me with a haughty civility which had a strong flavour of contempt in it She held herself aloof from me as if she had been a queen and I her humble unwashed vassal Be easy mother
No I am not easy nor content either What business had she a renegade clergymans daughter to turn up her nose at you I would dress for none of them—a saucy set if I were you As he was leaving the room he said—
Mr Hale is good and gentle and learned He is not saucy As for Mrs Hale I will tell you what she is like tonight if you care to hear He shut the door and was gone
Despise my son treat him as her vassal indeed Humph I should like to know where she could find such another Boy and man hes the noblest stoutest heart I ever knew I dont care if I am his mother I can see whats what and not be blind I know what Fanny is and I know what John is Despise him I hate her
CHAPTER X—WROUGHT IRON AND GOLD
We are the trees whom shaking fastens more
GEORGE HERBERT
Mr Thornton left the house without coming into the diningroom again He was rather late and walked rapidly out to Crampton He was anxious not to slight his new friend by any disrespectful unpunctuality The churchclock struck halfpast seven as he stood at the door awaiting Dixons slow movements always doubly tardy when she had to degrade herself by answering the doorbell He was ushered into the little drawingroom and kindly greeted by Mr Hale who led him up to his wife whose pale face and shawldraped figure made a silent excuse for the cold languor of her greeting Margaret was lighting the lamp when he entered for the darkness was coming on The lamp threw a pretty light into the centre of the dusky room from which with country habits they did not exclude the nightskies and the outer darkness of air Somehow that room contrasted itself with the one he had lately left handsome ponderous with no sign of feminine habitation except in the one spot where his mother sate and no convenience for any other employment than eating and drinking To be sure it was a diningroom his mother preferred to sit in it and her will was a household law But the drawingroom was not like this It was twice—twenty times as fine not one quarter as comfortable Here were no mirrors not even a scrap of glass to reflect the light and answer the same purpose as water in a landscape no gilding a warm sober breadth of colouring well relieved by the dear old Helstone chintzcurtains and chair covers An open davenport stood in the window opposite the door in the other there was a stand with a tall white china vase from which drooped wreaths of English ivy palegreen birch and coppercoloured beechleaves Pretty baskets of work stood about in different places and books not cared for on account of their binding solely lay on one table as if recently put down Behind the door was another table decked out for tea with a white tablecloth on which flourished the cocoanut cakes and a basket piled with oranges and ruddy American apples heaped on leaves
It appeared to Mr Thornton that all these graceful cares were habitual to the family and especially of a piece with Margaret She stood by the teatable in a lightcoloured muslin gown which had a good deal of pink about it She looked as if she was not attending to the conversation but solely busy with the teacups among which her round ivory hands moved with pretty noiseless daintiness She had a bracelet on one taper arm which would fall down over her round wrist Mr Thornton watched the replacing of this troublesome ornament with far more attention than he listened to her father It seemed as if it fascinated him to see her push it up impatiently until it tightened her soft flesh and then to mark the loosening—the fall He could almost have exclaimed—There it goes again There was so little left to be done after he arrived at the preparation for tea that he was almost sorry the obligation of eating and drinking came so soon to prevent his watching Margaret She handed him his cup of tea with the proud air of an unwilling slave but her eye caught the moment when he was ready for another cup and he almost longed to ask her to do for him what he saw her compelled to do for her father who took her little finger and thumb in his masculine hand and made them serve as sugartongs Mr Thornton saw her beautiful eyes lifted to her father full of light halflaughter and halflove as this bit of pantomime went on between the two unobserved as they fancied by any Margarets head still ached as the paleness of her complexion and her silence might have testified but she was resolved to throw herself into the breach if there was any long untoward pause rather than that her fathers friend pupil and guest should have cause to think himself in any way neglected But the conversation went on and Margaret drew into a corner near her mother with her work after the teathings were taken away and felt that she might let her thoughts roam without fear of being suddenly wanted to fill up a gap
Mr Thornton and Mr Hale were both absorbed in the continuation of some subject which had been started at their last meeting Margaret was recalled to a sense of the present by some trivial lowspoken remark of her mothers and on suddenly looking up from her work her eye was caught by the difference of outward appearance between her father and Mr Thornton as betokening such distinctly opposite natures Her father was of slight figure which made him appear taller than he really was when not contrasted as at this time with the tall massive frame of another The lines in her fathers face were soft and waving with a frequent undulating kind of trembling movement passing over them showing every fluctuating emotion the eyelids were large and arched giving to the eyes a peculiar languid beauty which was almost feminine The brows were finely arched but were by the very size of the dreamy lids raised to a considerable distance from the eyes Now in Mr Thorntons face the straight brows fell low over the clear deepset earnest eyes which without being unpleasantly sharp seemed intent enough to penetrate into the very heart and core of what he was looking at The lines in the face were few but firm as if they were carved in marble and lay principally about the lips which were slightly compressed over a set of teeth so faultless and beautiful as to give the effect of sudden sunlight when the rare bright smile coming in an instant and shining out of the eyes changed the whole look from the severe and resolved expression of a man ready to do and dare everything to the keen honest enjoyment of the moment which is seldom shown so fearlessly and instantaneously except by children Margaret liked this smile it was the first thing she had admired in this new friend of her fathers and the opposition of character shown in all these details of appearance she had just been noticing seemed to explain the attraction they evidently felt towards each other
She rearranged her mothers worstedwork and fell back into her own thoughts—as completely forgotten by Mr Thornton as if she had not been in the room so thoroughly was he occupied in explaining to Mr Hale the magnificent power yet delicate adjustment of the might of the steamhammer which was recalling to Mr Hale some of the wonderful stories of subservient genii in the Arabian Nights—one moment stretching from earth to sky and filling all the width of the horizon at the next obediently compressed into a vase small enough to be borne in the hand of a child
And this imagination of power this practical realisation of a gigantic thought came out of one mans brain in our good town That very man has it within him to mount step by step on each wonder he achieves to higher marvels still And Ill be bound to say we have many among us who if he were gone could spring into the breach and carry on the war which compels and shall compel all material power to yield to science
Your boast reminds me of the old lines—
Ive a hundred
captains in England he said
As good as ever was he
At her fathers quotation Margaret looked suddenly up with inquiring wonder in her eyes How in the world had they got from cogwheels to Chevy Chace
It is no boast of mine replied Mr Thornton it is plain matteroffact I wont deny that I am proud of belonging to a town—or perhaps I should rather say a district—the necessities of which give birth to such grandeur of conception I would rather be a man toiling suffering—nay failing and successless—here than lead a dull prosperous life in the old worn grooves of what you call more aristocratic society down in the South with their slow days of careless ease One may be clogged with honey and unable to rise and fly
You are mistaken said Margaret roused by the aspersion on her beloved South to a fond vehemence of defence that brought the colour into her cheeks and the angry tears into her eyes You do not know anything about the South If there is less adventure or less progress—I suppose I must not say less excitement—from the gambling spirit of trade which seems requisite to force out these wonderful inventions there is less suffering also I see men here going about in the streets who look ground down by some pinching sorrow or care—who are not only sufferers but haters Now in the South we have our poor but there is not that terrible expression in their countenances of a sullen sense of injustice which I see here You do not know the South Mr Thornton she concluded collapsing into a determined silence and angry with herself for having said so much
And may I say you do not know the North asked he with an inexpressible gentleness in his tone as he saw that he had really hurt her She continued resolutely silent yearning after the lovely haunts she had left far away in Hampshire with a passionate longing that made her feel her voice would be unsteady and trembling if she spoke
At any rate Mr Thornton said Mrs Hale you will allow that Milton is a much more smoky dirty town than you will ever meet with in the South
Im afraid I must give up its cleanliness said Mr Thornton with the quick gleaming smile But we are bidden by parliament to burn our own smoke so I suppose like good little children we shall do as we are bid—some time
But I think you told me you had altered your chimneys so as to consume the smoke did you not asked Mr Hale
Mine were altered by my own will before parliament meddled with the affair It was an immediate outlay but it repays me in the saving of coal Im not sure whether I should have done it if I had waited until the act was passed At any rate I should have waited to be informed against and fined and given all the trouble in yielding that I legally could But all laws which depend for their enforcement upon informers and fines become inert from the odiousness of the machinery I doubt if there has been a chimney in Milton informed against for five years past although some are constantly sending out onethird of their coal in what is called here unparliamentary smoke
I only know it is impossible to keep the muslin blinds clean here above a week together and at Helstone we have had them up for a month or more and they have not looked dirty at the end of that time And as for hands—Margaret how many times did you say you had washed your hands this morning before twelve oclock Three times was it not
Yes mamma
You seem to have a strong objection to acts of parliament and all legislation affecting your mode of management down here at Milton said Mr Hale
Yes I have and many others have as well And with justice I think The whole machinery—I dont mean the wood and iron machinery now—of the cotton trade is so new that it is no wonder if it does not work well in every part all at once Seventy years ago what was it And now what is it not Raw crude materials came together men of the same level as regarded education and station took suddenly the different positions of masters and men owing to the motherwit as regarded opportunities and probabilities which distinguished some and made them farseeing as to what great future lay concealed in that rude model of Sir Richard Arkwrights The rapid development of what might be called a new trade gave those early masters enormous power of wealth and command I dont mean merely over the workmen I mean over purchasers—over the whole worlds market Why I may give you as an instance an advertisement inserted not fifty years ago in a Milton paper that soandso one of the halfdozen calicoprinters of the time would close his warehouse at noon each day therefore that all purchasers must come before that hour Fancy a man dictating in this manner the time when he would sell and when he would not sell Now I believe if a good customer chose to come at midnight I should get up and stand hat in hand to receive his orders
Margarets lip curled but somehow she was compelled to listen she could no longer abstract herself in her own thoughts
I only name such things to show what almost unlimited power the manufacturers had about the beginning of this century The men were rendered dizzy by it Because a man was successful in his ventures there was no reason that in all other things his mind should be wellbalanced On the contrary his sense of justice and his simplicity were often utterly smothered under the glut of wealth that came down upon him and they tell strange tales of the wild extravagance of living indulged in on galadays by those early cottonlords There can be no doubt too of the tyranny they exercised over their workpeople You know the proverb Mr Hale Set a beggar on horseback and hell ride to the devil—well some of these early manufacturers did ride to the devil in a magnificent style—crushing human bone and flesh under their horses hoofs without remorse But byandby came a reaction there were more factories more masters more men were wanted The power of masters and men became more evenly balanced and now the battle is pretty fairly waged between us We will hardly submit to the decision of an umpire much less to the interference of a meddler with only a smattering of the knowledge of the real facts of the case even though that meddler be called the High Court of Parliament
Is there necessity for calling it a battle between the two classes asked Mr Hale I know from your using the term it is one which gives a true idea of the real state of things to your mind
It is true and I believe it to be as much a necessity as that prudent wisdom and good conduct are always opposed to and doing battle with ignorance and improvidence It is one of the great beauties of our system that a workingman may raise himself into the power and position of a master by his own exertions and behaviour that in fact every one who rules himself to decency and sobriety of conduct and attention to his duties comes over to our ranks it may not be always as a master but as an overlooker a cashier a bookkeeper a clerk one on the side of authority and order
You consider all who are unsuccessful in raising themselves in the world from whatever cause as your enemies then if I understand you rightly said Margaret in a clear cold voice
As their own enemies certainly said he quickly not a little piqued by the haughty disapproval her form of expression and tone of speaking implied But in a moment his straightforward honesty made him feel that his words were but a poor and quibbling answer to what she had said and be she as scornful as she liked it was a duty he owed to himself to explain as truly as he could what he did mean Yet it was very difficult to separate her interpretation and keep it distinct from his meaning He could best have illustrated what he wanted to say by telling them something of his own life but was it not too personal a subject to speak about to strangers Still it was the simple straightforward way of explaining his meaning so putting aside the touch of shyness that brought a momentary flush of colour into his dark cheek he said
I am not speaking without book Sixteen years ago my father died under very miserable circumstances I was taken from school and had to become a man as well as I could in a few days I had such a mother as few are blest with a woman of strong power and firm resolve We went into a small country town where living was cheaper than in Milton and where I got employment in a drapers shop a capital place by the way for obtaining a knowledge of goods Week by week our income came to fifteen shillings out of which three people had to be kept My mother managed so that I put by three out of these fifteen shillings regularly This made the beginning this taught me selfdenial Now that I am able to afford my mother such comforts as her age rather than her own wish requires I thank her silently on each occasion for the early training she gave me Now when I feel that in my own case it is no good luck nor merit nor talent—but simply the habits of life which taught me to despise indulgences not thoroughly earned—indeed never to think twice about them—I believe that this suffering which Miss Hale says is impressed on the countenances of the people of Milton is but the natural punishment of dishonestlyenjoyed pleasure at some former period of their lives I do not look on selfindulgent sensual people as worthy of my hatred I simply look upon them with contempt for their poorness of character
But you have had the rudiments of a good education remarked Mr Hale The quick zest with which you are now reading Homer shows me that you do not come to it as an unknown book you have read it before and are only recalling your old knowledge
That is true—I had blundered along it at school I dare say I was even considered a pretty fair classic in those days though my Latin and Greek have slipt away from me since But I ask you what preparation they were for such a life as I had to lead None at all Utterly none at all On the point of education any man who can read and write starts fair with me in the amount of really useful knowledge that I had at that time
Well I dont agree with you But there I am perhaps somewhat of a pedant Did not the recollection of the heroic simplicity of the Homeric life nerve you up
Not one bit exclaimed Mr Thornton laughing I was too busy to think about any dead people with the living pressing alongside of me neck to neck in the struggle for bread Now that I have my mother safe in the quiet peace that becomes her age and duly rewards her former exertions I can turn to all that old narration and thoroughly enjoy it
I dare say my remark came from the professional feeling of there being nothing like leather replied Mr Hale
When Mr Thornton rose up to go away after shaking hands with Mr and Mrs Hale he made an advance to Margaret to wish her goodbye in a similar manner It was the frank familiar custom of the place but Margaret was not prepared for it She simply bowed her farewell although the instant she saw the hand half put out quickly drawn back she was sorry she had not been aware of the intention Mr Thornton however knew nothing of her sorrow and drawing himself up to his full height walked off muttering as he left the house—
A more proud disagreeable girl I never saw Even her great beauty is blotted out of ones memory by her scornful ways
CHAPTER XI—FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Theres iron they say in all our blood
And a grain or two perhaps is good
But his he makes me harshly feel
Has got a little too much of steel
ANON
Margaret said Mr Hale as he returned from showing his guest downstairs I could not help watching your face with some anxiety when Mr Thornton made his confession of having been a shopboy I knew it all along from Mr Bell so I was aware of what was coming but I half expected to see you get up and leave the room
Oh papa you dont mean that you thought me so silly I really liked that account of himself better than anything else he said Everything else revolted me from its hardness but he spoke about himself so simply—with so little of the pretence that makes the vulgarity of shoppeople and with such tender respect for his mother that I was less likely to leave the room then than when he was boasting about Milton as if there was not such another place in the world or quietly professing to despise people for careless wasteful improvidence without ever seeming to think it his duty to try to make them different—to give them anything of the training which his mother gave him and to which he evidently owes his position whatever that may be No his statement of having been a shopboy was the thing I liked best of all
I am surprised at you Margaret said her mother You who were always accusing people of being shoppy at Helstone I dont think Mr Hale you have done quite right in introducing such a person to us without telling us what he had been I really was very much afraid of showing him how much shocked I was at some parts of what he said His father dying in miserable circumstances Why it might have been in the workhouse
I am not sure if it was not worse than being in the workhouse replied her husband I heard a good deal of his previous life from Mr Bell before we came here and as he has told you a part I will fill up what he left out His father speculated wildly failed and then killed himself because he could not bear the disgrace All his former friends shrunk from the disclosures that had to be made of his dishonest gambling—wild hopeless struggles made with other peoples money to regain his own moderate portion of wealth No one came forwards to help the mother and this boy There was another child I believe a girl too young to earn money but of course she had to be kept At least no friend came forwards immediately and Mrs Thornton is not one I fancy to wait till tardy kindness comes to find her out So they left Milton I knew he had gone into a shop and that his earnings with some fragment of property secured to his mother had been made to keep them for a long time Mr Bell said they absolutely lived upon waterporridge for years—how he did not know but long after the creditors had given up hope of any payment of old Mr Thorntons debts if indeed they ever had hoped at all about it after his suicide this young man returned to Milton and went quietly round to each creditor paying him the first instalment of the money owing to him No noise—no gathering together of creditors—it was done very silently and quietly but all was paid at last helped on materially by the circumstance of one of the creditors a crabbed old fellow Mr Bell says taking in Mr Thornton as a kind of partner
That really is fine said Margaret What a pity such a nature should be tainted by his position as a Milton manufacturer
How tainted asked her father
Oh papa by that testing everything by the standard of wealth When he spoke of the mechanical powers he evidently looked upon them only as new ways of extending trade and making money And the poor men around him—they were poor because they were vicious—out of the pale of his sympathies because they had not his iron nature and the capabilities that it gives him for being rich
Not vicious he never said that Improvident and selfindulgent were his words
Margaret was collecting her mothers working materials and preparing to go to bed Just as she was leaving the room she hesitated—she was inclined to make an acknowledgment which she thought would please her father but which to be full and true must include a little annoyance However out it came
Papa I do think Mr Thornton a very remarkable man but personally I dont like him at all
And I do said her father laughing Personally as you call it and all I dont set him up for a hero or anything of that kind But good night child Your mother looks sadly tired tonight Margaret
Margaret had noticed her mothers jaded appearance with anxiety for some time past and this remark of her fathers sent her up to bed with a dim fear lying like a weight on her heart The life in Milton was so different from what Mrs Hale had been accustomed to live in Helstone in and out perpetually into the fresh and open air the air itself was so different deprived of all revivifying principle as it seemed to be here the domestic worries pressed so very closely and in so new and sordid a form upon all the women in the family that there was good reason to fear that her mothers health might be becoming seriously affected There were several other signs of something wrong about Mrs Hale She and Dixon held mysterious consultations in her bedroom from which Dixon would come out crying and cross as was her custom when any distress of her mistress called upon her sympathy Once Margaret had gone into the chamber soon after Dixon left it and found her mother on her knees and as Margaret stole out she caught a few words which were evidently a prayer for strength and patience to endure severe bodily suffering Margaret yearned to reunite the bond of intimate confidence which had been broken by her long residence at her aunt Shaws and strove by gentle caresses and softened words to creep into the warmest place in her mothers heart But though she received caresses and fond words back again in such profusion as would have gladdened her formerly yet she felt that there was a secret withheld from her and she believed it bore serious reference to her mothers health She lay awake very long this night planning how to lessen the evil influence of their Milton life on her mother A servant to give Dixon permanent assistance should be got if she gave up her whole time to the search and then at any rate her mother might have all the personal attention she required and had been accustomed to her whole life Visiting register offices seeing all manner of unlikely people and very few in the least likely absorbed Margarets time and thoughts for several days One afternoon she met Bessy Higgins in the street and stopped to speak to her
Well Bessy how are you Better I hope now the wind has changed
Better and not better if yo know what that means
Not exactly replied Margaret smiling
Im better in not being torn to pieces by coughing onights but Im weary and tired o Milton and longing to get away to the land o Beulah and when I think Im farther and farther off my heart sinks and Im no better Im worse Margaret turned round to walk alongside of the girl in her feeble progress homeward But for a minute or two she did not speak At last she said in a low voice
Bessy do you wish to die For she shrank from death herself with all the clinging to life so natural to the young and healthy
Bessy was silent in her turn for a minute or two Then she replied
If yod led the life I have and getten as weary of it as I have and thought at times maybe itll last for fifty or sixty years—it does wi some—and got dizzy and dazed and sick as each of them sixty years seemed to spin about me and mock me with its length of hours and minutes and endless bits o time—oh wench I tell thee thoud been glad enough when th doctor said he feared thoud never see another winter
Why Bessy what kind of a life has yours been
Nought worse than many others I reckon Only I fretted again it and they didnt
But what was it You know Im a stranger here so perhaps Im not so quick at understanding what you mean as if Id lived all my life at Milton
If yod ha come to our house when yo said yo would I could maybe ha told you But father says yore just like th rest on em its out o sight out o mind wi you
I dont know who the rest are and Ive been very busy and to tell the truth I had forgotten my promise—
Yo offered it we asked none of it
I had forgotten what I said for the time continued Margaret quietly I should have thought of it again when I was less busy May I go with you now Bessy gave a quick glance at Margarets face to see if the wish expressed was really felt The sharpness in her eye turned to a wistful longing as she met Margarets soft and friendly gaze
I ha none so many to care for me if yo care yo may come
So they walked on together in silence As they turned up into a small court opening out of a squalid street Bessy said
Yoll not be daunted if fathers at home and speaks a bit gruffish at first He took a mind to ye yo see and he thought a deal o your coming to see us and just because he liked yo he were vexed and put about
Dont fear Bessy
But Nicholas was not at home when they entered A great slatternly girl not so old as Bessy but taller and stronger was busy at the washtub knocking about the furniture in a rough capable way but altogether making so much noise that Margaret shrunk out of sympathy with poor Bessy who had sat down on the first chair as if completely tired out with her walk Margaret asked the sister for a cup of water and while she ran to fetch it knocking down the fireirons and tumbling over a chair in her way she unloosed Bessys bonnet strings to relieve her catching breath
Do you think such life as this is worth caring for gasped Bessy at last Margaret did not speak but held the water to her lips Bessy took a long and feverish draught and then fell back and shut her eyes Margaret heard her murmur to herself They shall hunger no more neither thirst any more neither shall the sun light on them nor any heat
Margaret bent over and said Bessy dont be impatient with your life whatever it is—or may have been Remember who gave it you and made it what it is She was startled by hearing Nicholas speak behind her he had come in without her noticing him
Now Ill not have my wench preached to Shes bad enough as it is with her dreams and her methodee fancies and her visions of cities with goulden gates and precious stones But if it amuses her I let it a be but Im none going to have more stuff poured into her
But surely said Margaret facing round you believe in what I said that God gave her life and ordered what kind of life it was to be
I believe what I see and no more Thats what I believe young woman I dont believe all I hear—no not by a big deal I did hear a young lass make an ado about knowing where we lived and coming to see us And my wench here thought a deal about it and flushed up many a time when hoo little knew as I was looking at her at the sound of a strange step But hoos come at last—and hoos welcome as long as hooll keep from preaching on what hoo knows nought about Bessy had been watching Margarets face she half sate up to speak now laying her hand on Margarets arm with a gesture of entreaty Dont be vexed wi him—theres many a one thinks like him many and many a one here If yo could hear them speak yod not be shocked at him hes a rare good man is father—but oh said she falling back in despair what he says at times makes me long to die more than ever for I want to know so many things and am so tossed about wi wonder
Poor wench—poor old wench—Im loth to vex thee I am but a man mun speak out for the truth and when I see the world going all wrong at this time o day bothering itself wi things it knows nought about and leaving undone all the things that lie in disorder close at its hand—why I say leave a this talk about religion alone and set to work on what yo see and know Thats my creed Its simple and not far to fetch nor hard to work
But the girl only pleaded the more with Margaret
Dont think hardly on him—hes a good man he is I sometimes think I shall be moped wi sorrow even in the City of God if father is not there The feverish colour came into her cheek and the feverish flame into her eye But you will be there father you shall Oh my heart She put her hand to it and became ghastly pale
Margaret held her in her arms and put the weary head to rest upon her bosom She lifted the thin soft hair from off the temples and bathed them with water Nicholas understood all her signs for different articles with the quickness of love and even the roundeyed sister moved with laborious gentleness at Margarets hush Presently the spasm that foreshadowed death had passed away and Bessy roused herself and said—
Ill go to bed—its best place but catching at Margarets gown yoll come again—I know yo will—but just say it
I will come tomorrow said Margaret
Bessy leant back against her father who prepared to carry her upstairs but as Margaret rose to go he struggled to say something I could wish there were a God if it were only to ask Him to bless thee
Margaret went away very sad and thoughtful
She was late for tea at home At Helstone unpunctuality at mealtimes was a great fault in her mothers eyes but now this as well as many other little irregularities seemed to have lost their power of irritation and Margaret almost longed for the old complainings
Have you met with a servant dear
No mamma that Anne Buckley would never have done
Suppose I try said Mr Hale Everybody else has had their turn at this great difficulty Now let me try I may be the Cinderella to put on the slipper after all
Margaret could hardly smile at this little joke so oppressed was she by her visit to the Higginses
What would you do papa How would you set about it
Why I would apply to some good housemother to recommend me one known to herself or her servants
Very good But we must first catch our housemother
You have caught her Or rather she is coming into the snare and you will catch her tomorrow if youre skilful
What do you mean Mr Hale asked his wife her curiosity aroused
Why my paragon pupil as Margaret calls him has told me that his mother intends to call on Mrs and Miss Hale tomorrow
Mrs Thornton exclaimed Mrs Hale
The mother of whom he spoke to us said Margaret
Mrs Thornton the only mother he has I believe said Mr Hale quietly
I shall like to see her She must be an uncommon person her mother added
Perhaps she may have a relation who might suit us and be glad of our place She sounded to be such a careful economical person that I should like any one out of the same family
My dear said Mr Hale alarmed Pray dont go off on that idea I fancy Mrs Thornton is as haughty and proud in her way as our little Margaret here is in hers and that she completely ignores that old time of trial and poverty and economy of which he speaks so openly I am sure at any rate she would not like strangers to know anything about It
Take notice that is not my kind of haughtiness papa if I have any at all which I dont agree to though youre always accusing me of it
I dont know positively that it is hers either but from little things I have gathered from him I fancy so
They cared too little to ask in what manner her son had spoken about her Margaret only wanted to know if she must stay in to receive this call as it would prevent her going to see how Bessy was until late in the day since the early morning was always occupied in household affairs and then she recollected that her mother must not be left to have the whole weight of entertaining her visitor
CHAPTER XII—MORNING CALLS
Well—I suppose we must
FRIENDS IN COUNCIL
Mr Thornton had had some difficulty in working up his mother to the desired point of civility She did not often make calls and when she did it was in heavy state that she went through her duties Her son had given her a carriage but she refused to let him keep horses for it they were hired for the solemn occasions when she paid morning or evening visits She had had horses for three days not a fortnight before and had comfortably killed off all her acquaintances who might now put themselves to trouble and expense in their turn Yet Crampton was too far off for her to walk and she had repeatedly questioned her son as to whether his wish that she should call on the Hales was strong enough to bear the expense of cabhire She would have been thankful if it had not for as she said she saw no use in making up friendships and intimacies with all the teachers and masters in Milton why he would be wanting her to call on Fannys dancingmasters wife the next thing
And so I would mother if Mr Mason and his wife were friendless in a strange place like the Hales
Oh you need not speak so hastily I am going tomorrow I only wanted you exactly to understand about it
If you are going tomorrow I shall order horses
Nonsense John One would think you were made of money
Not quite yet But about the horses Im determined The last time you were out in a cab you came home with a headache from the jolting
I never complained of it Im sure
No My mother is not given to complaints said he a little proudly But so much the more I have to watch over you Now as for Fanny there a little hardship would do her good
She is not made of the same stuff as you are John She could not bear it Mrs Thornton was silent after this for her last words bore relation to a subject which mortified her She had an unconscious contempt for a weak character and Fanny was weak in the very points in which her mother and brother were strong Mrs Thornton was not a woman much given to reasoning her quick judgment and firm resolution served her in good stead of any long arguments and discussions with herself she felt instinctively that nothing could strengthen Fanny to endure hardships patiently or face difficulties bravely and though she winced as she made this acknowledgment to herself about her daughter it only gave her a kind of pitying tenderness of manner towards her much of the same description of demeanour with which mothers are wont to treat their weak and sickly children A stranger a careless observer might have considered that Mrs Thorntons manner to her children betokened far more love to Fanny than to John But such a one would have been deeply mistaken The very daringness with which mother and son spoke out unpalatable truths the one to the other showed a reliance on the firm centre of each others souls which the uneasy tenderness of Mrs Thorntons manner to her daughter the shame with which she thought to hide the poverty of her child in all the grand qualities which she herself possessed unconsciously and which she set so high a value upon in others—this shame I say betrayed the want of a secure restingplace for her affection She never called her son by any name but John love and dear and such like terms were reserved for Fanny But her heart gave thanks for him day and night and she walked proudly among women for his sake
Fanny dear I shall have horses to the carriage today to go and call on these Hales Should not you go and see nurse Its in the same direction and shes always so glad to see you You could go on there while I am at Mrs Hales
Oh mamma its such a long way and I am so tired
With what asked Mrs Thornton her brow slightly contracting
I dont know—the weather I think It is so relaxing Couldnt you bring nurse here mamma The carriage could fetch her and she could spend the rest of the day here which I know she would like
Mrs Thornton did not speak but she laid her work on the table and seemed to think
It will be a long way for her to walk back at night she remarked at last
Oh but I will send her home in a cab I never thought of her walking At this point Mr Thornton came in just before going to the mill
Mother I need hardly say that if there is any little thing that could serve Mrs Hale as an invalid you will offer it Im sure
If I can find it out I will But I have never been ill myself so I am not much up to invalids fancies
Well here is Fanny then who is seldom without an ailment She will be able to suggest something perhaps—wont you Fan
I have not always an ailment said Fanny pettishly and I am not going with mamma I have a headache today and I shant go out
Mr Thornton looked annoyed His mothers eyes were bent on her work at which she was now stitching away busily
Fanny I wish you to go said he authoritatively It will do you good instead of harm You will oblige me by going without my saying anything more about it
He went abruptly out of the room after saying this
If he had staid a minute longer Fanny would have cried at his tone of command even when he used the words You will oblige me As it was she grumbled
John always speaks as if I fancied I was ill and I am sure I never do fancy any such thing Who are these Hales that he makes such a fuss about
Fanny dont speak so of your brother He has good reasons of some kind or other or he would not wish us to go Make haste and put your things on
But the little altercation between her son and her daughter did not incline Mrs Thornton more favourably towards these Hales Her jealous heart repeated her daughters question Who are they that he is so anxious we should pay them all this attention It came up like a burden to a song long after Fanny had forgotten all about it in the pleasant excitement of seeing the effect of a new bonnet in the lookingglass
Mrs Thornton was shy It was only of late years that she had had leisure enough in her life to go into society and as society she did not enjoy it As dinnergiving and as criticising other peoples dinners she took satisfaction in it But this going to make acquaintance with strangers was a very different thing She was ill at ease and looked more than usually stern and forbidding as she entered the Hales little drawingroom
Margaret was busy embroidering a small piece of cambric for some little article of dress for Ediths expected baby—Flimsy useless work as Mrs Thornton observed to herself She liked Mrs Hales double knitting far better that was sensible of its kind The room altogether was full of knickknacks which must take a long time to dust and time to people of limited income was money She made all these reflections as she was talking in her stately way to Mrs Hale and uttering all the stereotyped commonplaces that most people can find to say with their senses blindfolded Mrs Hale was making rather more exertion in her answers captivated by some real old lace which Mrs Thornton wore lace as she afterwards observed to Dixon of that old English point which has not been made for this seventy years and which cannot be bought It must have been an heirloom and shows that she had ancestors So the owner of the ancestral lace became worthy of something more than the languid exertion to be agreeable to a visitor by which Mrs Hales efforts at conversation would have been otherwise bounded And presently Margaret racking her brain to talk to Fanny heard her mother and Mrs Thornton plunge into the interminable subject of servants
I suppose you are not musical said Fanny as I see no piano
I am fond of hearing good music I cannot play well myself and papa and mamma dont care much about it so we sold our old piano when we came here
I wonder how you can exist without one It almost seems to me a necessary of life
Fifteen shillings a week and three saved out of them thought Margaret to herself But she must have been very young She probably has forgotten her own personal experience But she must know of those days Margarets manner had an extra tinge of coldness in it when she next spoke
You have good concerts here I believe
Oh yes Delicious Too crowded that is the worst The directors admit so indiscriminately But one is sure to hear the newest music there I always have a large order to give to Johnsons the day after a concert
Do you like new music simply for its newness then
Oh one knows it is the fashion in London or else the singers would not bring it down here You have been in London of course
Yes said Margaret I have lived there for several years
Oh London and the Alhambra are the two places I long to see
London and the Alhambra
Yes ever since I read the Tales of the Alhambra Dont you know them
I dont think I do But surely it is a very easy journey to London
Yes but somehow said Fanny lowering her voice mamma has never been to London herself and cant understand my longing She is very proud of Milton dirty smoky place as I feel it to be I believe she admires it the more for those very qualities
If it has been Mrs Thorntons home for some years I can well understand her loving it said Margaret in her clear belllike voice
What are you saying about me Miss Hale May I inquire
Margaret had not the words ready for an answer to this question which took her a little by surprise so Miss Thornton replied
Oh mamma we are only trying to account for your being so fond of Milton
Thank you said Mrs Thornton I do not feel that my very natural liking for the place where I was born and brought up—and which has since been my residence for some years requires any accounting for
Margaret was vexed As Fanny had put it it did seem as if they had been impertinently discussing Mrs Thorntons feelings but she also rose up against that ladys manner of showing that she was offended
Mrs Thornton went on after a moments pause
Do you know anything of Milton Miss Hale Have you seen any of our factories our magnificent warehouses
No said Margaret I have not seen anything of that description as yet Then she felt that by concealing her utter indifference to all such places she was hardly speaking with truth so she went on
I dare say papa would have taken me before now if I had cared But I really do not find much pleasure in going over manufactories
They are very curious places said Mrs Hale but there is so much noise and dirt always I remember once going in a lilac silk to see candles made and my gown was utterly ruined
Very probably said Mrs Thornton in a short displeased manner I merely thought that as strangers newly come to reside in a town which has risen to eminence in the country from the character and progress of its peculiar business you might have cared to visit some of the places where it is carried on places unique in the kingdom I am informed If Miss Hale changes her mind and condescends to be curious as to the manufactures of Milton I can only say I shall be glad to procure her admission to printworks or reedmaking or the more simple operations of spinning carried on in my sons mill Every improvement of machinery is I believe to be seen there in its highest perfection
I am so glad you dont like mills and manufactories and all those kind of things said Fanny in a halfwhisper as she rose to accompany her mother who was taking leave of Mrs Hale with rustling dignity
I think I should like to know all about them if I were you replied Margaret quietly
Fanny said her mother as they drove away we will be civil to these Hales but dont form one of your hasty friendships with the daughter She will do you no good I see The mother looks very ill and seems a nice quiet kind of person
I dont want to form any friendship with Miss Hale mamma said Fanny pouting I thought I was doing my duty by talking to her and trying to amuse her
Well at any rate John must be satisfied now
CHAPTER XIII—A SOFT BREEZE IN A SULTRY PLACE
That doubt and trouble fear and pain
And anguish all are shadows vain
That death itself shall not remain
That weary deserts we may tread
A dreary labyrinth may thread
Thro dark ways underground be led
Yet if we will one Guide obey
The dreariest path the darkest way
Shall issue out in heavenly day
And we on divers shores now cast
Shall meet our perilous voyage past
All in our Fathers house at last
R C TRENCH
Margaret flew upstairs as soon as their visitors were gone and put on her bonnet and shawl to run and inquire how Bessy Higgins was and sit with her as long as she could before dinner As she went along the crowded narrow streets she felt how much of interest they had gained by the simple fact of her having learnt to care for a dweller in them
Mary Higgins the slatternly younger sister had endeavoured as well as she could to tidy up the house for the expected visit There had been roughstoning done in the middle of the floor while the flags under the chairs and table and round the walls retained their dark unwashed appearance Although the day was hot there burnt a large fire in the grate making the whole place feel like an oven Margaret did not understand that the lavishness of coals was a sign of hospitable welcome to her on Marys part and thought that perhaps the oppressive heat was necessary for Bessy Bessy herself lay on a squab or short sofa placed under the window She was very much more feeble than on the previous day and tired with raising herself at every step to look out and see if it was Margaret coming And now that Margaret was there and had taken a chair by her Bessy lay back silent and content to look at Margarets face and touch her articles of dress with a childish admiration of their fineness of texture
I never knew why folk in the Bible cared for soft raiment afore But it must be nice to go dressed as yo do Its different fro common Most fine folk tire my eyes out wi their colours but some how yours rest me Where did ye get this frock
In London said Margaret much amused
London Have yo been in London
Yes I lived there for some years But my home was in a forest in the country
Tell me about it said Bessy I like to hear speak of the country and trees and such like things She leant back and shut her eye and crossed her hands over her breast lying at perfect rest as if to receive all the ideas Margaret could suggest
Margaret had never spoken of Helstone since she left it except just naming the place incidentally She saw it in dreams more vivid than life and as she fell away to slumber at nights her memory wandered in all its pleasant places But her heart was opened to this girl Oh Bessy I loved the home we have left so dearly I wish you could see it I cannot tell you half its beauty There are great trees standing all about it with their branches stretching long and level and making a deep shade of rest even at noonday And yet though every leaf may seem still there is a continual rushing sound of movement all around—not close at hand Then sometimes the turf is as soft and fine as velvet and sometimes quite lush with the perpetual moisture of a little hidden tinkling brook near at hand And then in other parts there are billowy ferns—whole stretches of fern some in the green shadow some with long streaks of golden sunlight lying on them—just like the sea
I have never seen the sea murmured Bessy But go on
Then here and there there are wide commons high up as if above the very tops of the trees—
Im glad of that I felt smothered like down below When I have gone for an out Ive always wanted to get high up and see far away and take a deep breath o fulness in that air I get smothered enough in Milton and I think the sound yo speak of among the trees going on for ever and ever would send me dazed its that made my head ache so in the mill Now on these commons I reckon there is but little noise
No said Margaret nothing but here and there a lark high in the air Sometimes I used to hear a farmer speaking sharp and loud to his servants but it was so far away that it only reminded me pleasantly that other people were hard at work in some distant place while I just sat on the heather and did nothing
I used to think once that if I could have a day of doing nothing to rest me—a day in some quiet place like that yo speak on—it would maybe set me up But now Ive had many days o idleness and Im just as weary o them as I was o my work Sometimes Im so tired out I think I cannot enjoy heaven without a piece of rest first Im rather afeard o going straight there without getting a good sleep in the grave to set me up
Dont be afraid Bessy said Margaret laying her hand on the girls God can give you more perfect rest than even idleness on earth or the dead sleep of the grave can do
Bessy moved uneasily then she said
I wish father would not speak as he does He means well as I telled yo yesterday and tell yo again and again But yo see though I dont believe him a bit by day yet by night—when Im in a fever halfasleep and halfawake—it comes back upon me—oh so bad And I think if this should be th end of all and if all Ive been born for is just to work my heart and my life away and to sicken i this dree place wi them millnoises in my ears for ever until I could scream out for them to stop and let me have a little piece o quiet—and wi the fluff filling my lungs until I thirst to death for one long deep breath o the clear air yo speak on—and my mother gone and I never able to tell her again how I loved her and o all my troubles—I think if this life is th end and that theres no God to wipe away all tears from all eyes—yo wench yo said she sitting up and clutching violently almost fiercely at Margarets hand I could go mad and kill yo I could She fell back completely worn out with her passion Margaret knelt down by her
Bessy—we have a Father in Heaven
I know it I know it moaned she turning her head uneasily from side to side
Im very wicked Ive spoken very wickedly Oh dont be frightened by me and never come again I would not harm a hair of your head And opening her eyes and looking earnestly at Margaret I believe perhaps more than yo do o whats to come I read the book o Revelations until I know it off by heart and I never doubt when Im waking and in my senses of all the glory Im to come to
Dont let us talk of what fancies come into your head when you are feverish I would rather hear something about what you used to do when you were well
I think I was well when mother died but I have never been rightly strong sin somewhere about that time I began to work in a cardingroom soon after and the fluff got into my lungs and poisoned me
Fluff said Margaret inquiringly
Fluff repeated Bessy Little bits as fly off fro the cotton when theyre carding it and fill the air till it looks all fine white dust They say it winds round the lungs and tightens them up Anyhow theres many a one as works in a cardingroom that falls into a waste coughing and spitting blood because theyre just poisoned by the fluff
But cant it be helped asked Margaret
I dunno Some folk have a great wheel at one end o their cardingrooms to make a draught and carry off th dust but that wheel costs a deal o money—five or six hundred pound maybe and brings in no profit so its but a few of th masters as will put em up and Ive heard tell o men who didnt like working places where there was a wheel because they said as how it mad em hungry at after theyd been long used to swallowing fluff to go without it and that their wage ought to be raised if they were to work in such places So between masters and men th wheels fall through I know I wish thered been a wheel in our place though
Did not your father know about it asked Margaret
Yes And he were sorry But our factory were a good one on the whole and a steady likely set o people and father was afeard of letting me go to a strange place for though yo would na think it now many a one then used to call me a gradely lass enough And I did na like to be reckoned nesh and soft and Marys schooling were to be kept up mother said and father he were always liking to buy books and go to lectures o one kind or another—all which took money—so I just worked on till I shall neer get the whirr out o my ears or the fluff out o my throat i this world Thats all
How old are you asked Margaret
Nineteen come July
And I too am nineteen She thought more sorrowfully than Bessy did of the contrast between them She could not speak for a moment or two for the emotion she was trying to keep down
About Mary said Bessy I wanted to ask yo to be a friend to her Shes seventeen but shes th last on us And I dont want her to go to th mill and yet I dunno what shes fit for
She could not do—Margaret glanced unconsciously at the uncleaned corners of the room—She could hardly undertake a servants place could she We have an old faithful servant almost a friend who wants help but who is very particular and it would not be right to plague her with giving her any assistance that would really be an annoyance and an irritation
No I see I reckon yore right Our Marys a good wench but who has she had to teach her what to do about a house No mother and me at the mill till I were good for nothing but scolding her for doing badly what I didnt know how to do a bit But I wish she could ha lived wi yo for all that
But even though she may not be exactly fitted to come and live with us as a servant—and I dont know about that—I will always try and be a friend to her for your sake Bessy And now I must go I will come again as soon as I can but if it should not be tomorrow or the next day or even a week or a fortnight hence dont think Ive forgotten you I may be busy
Ill know yo wont forget me again Ill not mistrust yo no more But remember in a week or a fortnight I may be dead and buried
Ill come as soon as I can Bessy said Margaret squeezing her hand tight
But youll let me know if you are worse
Ay that will I said Bessy returning the pressure
From that day forwards Mrs Hale became more and more of a suffering invalid It was now drawing near to the anniversary of Ediths marriage and looking back upon the years accumulated heap of troubles Margaret wondered how they had been borne If she could have anticipated them how she would have shrunk away and hid herself from the coming time And yet day by day had of itself and by itself been very endurable—small keen bright little spots of positive enjoyment having come sparkling into the very middle of sorrows A year ago or when she first went to Helstone and first became silently conscious of the querulousness in her mothers temper she would have groaned bitterly over the idea of a long illness to be borne in a strange desolate noisy busy place with diminished comforts on every side of the home life But with the increase of serious and just ground of complaint a new kind of patience had sprung up in her mothers mind She was gentle and quiet in intense bodily suffering almost in proportion as she had been restless and depressed when there had been no real cause for grief Mr Hale was in exactly that stage of apprehension which in men of his stamp takes the shape of wilful blindness He was more irritated than Margaret had ever known him at his daughters expressed anxiety
Indeed Margaret you are growing fanciful God knows I should be the first to take the alarm if your mother were really ill we always saw when she had her headaches at Helstone even without her telling us She looks quite pale and white when she is ill and now she has a bright healthy colour in her cheeks just as she used to have when I first knew her
But papa said Margaret with hesitation do you know I think that is the flush of pain
Nonsense Margaret I tell you you are too fanciful You are the person not well I think Send for the doctor tomorrow for yourself and then if it will make your mind easier he can see your mother
Thank you dear papa It will make me happier indeed And she went up to him to kiss him But he pushed her away—gently enough but still as if she had suggested unpleasant ideas which he should be glad to get rid of as readily as he could of her presence He walked uneasily up and down the room
Poor Maria said he half soliloquising I wish one could do right without sacrificing others I shall hate this town and myself too if she—— Pray Margaret does your mother often talk to you of the old places of Helstone I mean
No papa said Margaret sadly
Then you see she cant be fretting after them eh It has always been a comfort to me to think that your mother was so simple and open that I knew every little grievance she had She never would conceal anything seriously affecting her health from me would she eh Margaret I am quite sure she would not So dont let me hear of these foolish morbid ideas Come give me a kiss and run off to bed
But she heard him pacing about racooning as she and Edith used to call it long after her slow and languid undressing was finished—long after she began to listen as she lay in bed
CHAPTER XIV—THE MUTINY
I was used
To sleep at nights as sweetly as a child—
Now if the wind blew rough it made me start
And think of my poor boy tossing about
Upon the roaring seas And then I seemed
To feel that it was hard to take him from me
For such a little fault
SOUTHEY
It was a comfort to Margaret about this time to find that her mother drew more tenderly and intimately towards her than she had ever done since the days of her childhood She took her to her heart as a confidential friend—the post Margaret had always longed to fill and had envied Dixon for being preferred to Margaret took pains to respond to every call made upon her for sympathy—and they were many—even when they bore relation to trifles which she would no more have noticed or regarded herself than the elephant would perceive the little pin at his feet which yet he lifts carefully up at the bidding of his keeper All unconsciously Margaret drew near to a reward
One evening Mr Hale being absent her mother began to talk to her about her brother Frederick the very subject on which Margaret had longed to ask questions and almost the only one on which her timidity overcame her natural openness The more she wanted to hear about him the less likely she was to speak
Oh Margaret it was so windy last night It came howling down the chimney in our room I could not sleep I never can when there is such a terrible wind I got into a wakeful habit when poor Frederick was at sea and now even if I dont waken all at once I dream of him in some stormy sea with great clear glassgreen walls of waves on either side his ship but far higher than her very masts curling over her with that cruel terrible white foam like some gigantic crested serpent It is an old dream but it always comes back on windy nights till I am thankful to waken sitting straight and stiff up in bed with my terror Poor Frederick He is on land now so wind can do him no harm Though I did think it might shake down some of those tall chimneys
Where is Frederick now mamma Our letters are directed to the care of Messrs Barbour at Cadiz I know but where is he himself
I cant remember the name of the place but he is not called Hale you must remember that Margaret Notice the F D in every corner of the letters He has taken the name of Dickenson I wanted him to have been called Beresford to which he had a kind of right but your father thought he had better not He might be recognised you know if he were called by my name
Mamma said Margaret I was at Aunt Shaws when it all happened and I suppose I was not old enough to be told plainly about it But I should like to know now if I may—if it does not give you too much pain to speak about it
Pain No replied Mrs Hale her cheek flushing Yet it is pain to think that perhaps I may never see my darling boy again Or else he did right Margaret They may say what they like but I have his own letters to show and Ill believe him though he is my son sooner than any courtmartial on earth Go to my little japan cabinet dear and in the second lefthand drawer you will find a packet of letters
Margaret went There were the yellow seastained letters with the peculiar fragrance which ocean letters have Margaret carried them back to her mother who untied the silken string with trembling fingers and examining their dates she gave them to Margaret to read making her hurried anxious remarks on their contents almost before her daughter could have understood what they were
You see Margaret how from the very first he disliked Captain Reid He was second lieutenant in the ship—the Orion—in which Frederick sailed the very first time Poor little fellow how well he looked in his midshipmans dress with his dirk in his hand cutting open all the newspapers with it as if it were a paperknife But this Mr Reid as he was then seemed to take a dislike to Frederick from the very beginning And then—stay these are the letters he wrote on board the Russell When he was appointed to her and found his old enemy Captain Reid in command he did mean to bear all his tyranny patiently Look this is the letter Just read it Margaret Where is it he says—Stop—my father may rely upon me that I will bear with all proper patience everything that one officer and gentleman can take from another But from my former knowledge of my present captain I confess I look forward with apprehension to a long course of tyranny on board the Russell You see he promises to bear patiently and I am sure he did for he was the sweetesttempered boy when he was not vexed that could possibly be Is that the letter in which he speaks of Captain Reids impatience with the men for not going through the ships manœuvres as quickly as the Avenger You see he says that they had many new hands on board the Russell while the Avenger had been nearly three years on the station with nothing to do but to keep slavers off and work her men till they ran up and down the rigging like rats or monkeys
Margaret slowly read the letter half illegible through the fading of the ink It might be—it probably was—a statement of Captain Reids imperiousness in trifles very much exaggerated by the narrator who had written it while fresh and warm from the scene of altercation Some sailors being aloft in the maintopsail rigging the captain had ordered them to race down threatening the hindmost with the catofninetails He who was the farthest on the spar feeling the impossibility of passing his companions and yet passionately dreading the disgrace of the flogging threw himself desperately down to catch a rope considerably lower failed and fell senseless on deck He only survived for a few hours afterwards and the indignation of the ships crew was at boiling point when young Hale wrote
But we did not receive this letter till long long after we heard of the mutiny Poor Fred I dare say it was a comfort to him to write it even though he could not have known how to send it poor fellow And then we saw a report in the papers—thats to say long before Freds letter reached us—of an atrocious mutiny having broken out on board the Russell and that the mutineers had remained in possession of the ship which had gone off it was supposed to be a pirate and that Captain Reid was sent adrift in a boat with some men—officers or something—whose names were all given for they were picked up by a WestIndian steamer Oh Margaret how your father and I turned sick over that list when there was no name of Frederick Hale We thought it must be some mistake for poor Fred was such a fine fellow only perhaps rather too passionate and we hoped that the name of Carr which was in the list was a misprint for that of Hale—newspapers are so careless And towards posttime the next day papa set off to walk to Southampton to get the papers and I could not stop at home so I went to meet him He was very late—much later than I thought he would have been and I sat down under the hedge to wait for him He came at last his arms hanging loose down his head sunk and walking heavily along as if every step was a labour and a trouble Margaret I see him now
Dont go on mamma I can understand it all said Margaret leaning up caressingly against her mothers side and kissing her hand
No you cant Margaret No one can who did not see him then I could hardly lift myself up to go and meet him—everything seemed so to reel around me all at once And when I got to him he did not speak or seem surprised to see me there more than three miles from home beside the Oldham beechtree but he put my arm in his and kept stroking my hand as if he wanted to soothe me to be very quiet under some great heavy blow and when I trembled so all over that I could not speak he took me in his arms and stooped down his head on mine and began to shake and to cry in a strange muffled groaning voice till I for very fright stood quite still and only begged him to tell me what he had heard And then with his hand jerking as if some one else moved it against his will he gave me a wicked newspaper to read calling our Frederick a traitor of the blackest dye a base ungrateful disgrace to his profession Oh I cannot tell what bad words they did not use I took the paper in my hands as soon as I had read it—I tore it up to little bits—I tore it—oh I believe Margaret I tore it with my teeth I did not cry I could not My cheeks were as hot as fire and my very eyes burnt in my head I saw your father looking grave at me I said it was a lie and so it was Months after this letter came and you see what provocation Frederick had It was not for himself or his own injuries he rebelled but he would speak his mind to Captain Reid and so it went on from bad to worse and you see most of the sailors stuck by Frederick
I think Margaret she continued after a pause in a weak trembling exhausted voice I am glad of it—I am prouder of Frederick standing up against injustice than if he had been simply a good officer
I am sure I am said Margaret in a firm decided tone Loyalty and obedience to wisdom and justice are fine but it is still finer to defy arbitrary power unjustly and cruelly used—not on behalf of ourselves but on behalf of others more helpless
For all that I wish I could see Frederick once more—just once He was my first baby Margaret Mrs Hale spoke wistfully and almost as if apologising for the yearning craving wish as though it were a depreciation of her remaining child But such an idea never crossed Margarets mind She was thinking how her mothers desire could be fulfilled
It is six or seven years ago—would they still prosecute him mother If he came and stood his trial what would be the punishment Surely he might bring evidence of his great provocation
It would do no good replied Mrs Hale Some of the sailors who accompanied Frederick were taken and there was a courtmartial held on them on board the Amicia I believed all they said in their defence poor fellows because it just agreed with Fredericks story—but it was of no use— and for the first time during the conversation Mrs Hale began to cry yet something possessed Margaret to force the information she foresaw yet dreaded from her mother
What happened to them mamma asked she
They were hung at the yardarm said Mrs Hale solemnly And the worst was that the court in condemning them to death said they had suffered themselves to be led astray from their duty by their superior officers
They were silent for a long time
And Frederick was in South America for several years was he not
Yes And now he is in Spain At Cadiz or somewhere near it If he comes to England he will be hung I shall never see his face again—for if he comes to England he will be hung
There was no comfort to be given Mrs Hale turned her face to the wall and lay perfectly still in her mothers despair Nothing could be said to console her She took her hand out of Margarets with a little impatient movement as if she would fain be left alone with the recollection of her son When Mr Hale came in Margaret went out oppressed with gloom and seeing no promise of brightness on any side of the horizon
CHAPTER XV—MASTERS AND MEN
Thought fights with thought
out springs a spark of truth
From the collision of the sword and shield
W S LANDOR
Margaret said her father the next day we must return Mrs Thorntons call Your mother is not very well and thinks she cannot walk so far but you and I will go this afternoon
As they went Mr Hale began about his wifes health with a kind of veiled anxiety which Margaret was glad to see awakened at last
Did you consult the doctor Margaret Did you send for him
No papa you spoke of his coming to see me Now I was well But if I only knew of some good doctor I would go this afternoon and ask him to come for I am sure mamma is seriously indisposed
She put the truth thus plainly and strongly because her father had so completely shut his mind against the idea when she had last named her fears But now the case was changed He answered in a despondent tone
Do you think she has any hidden complaint Do you think she is really very ill Has Dixon said anything Oh Margaret I am haunted by the fear that our coming to Milton has killed her My poor Maria
Oh papa dont imagine such things said Margaret shocked She is not well that is all Many a one is not well for a time and with good advice gets better and stronger than ever
But has Dixon said anything about her
No You know Dixon enjoys making a mystery out of trifles and she has been a little mysterious about mammas health which has alarmed me rather that is all Without any reason I dare say You know papa you said the other day I was getting fanciful
I hope and trust you are But dont think of what I said then I like you to be fanciful about your mothers health Dont be afraid of telling me your fancies I like to hear them though I dare say I spoke as if I was annoyed But we will ask Mrs Thornton if she can tell us of a good doctor We wont throw away our money on any but some one firstrate Stay we turn up this street The street did not look as if it could contain any house large enough for Mrs Thorntons habitation Her sons presence never gave any impression as to the kind of house he lived in but unconsciously Margaret had imagined that tall massive handsomely dressed Mrs Thornton must live in a house of the same character as herself Now Marlborough Street consisted of long rows of small houses with a blank wall here and there at least that was all they could see from the point at which they entered it
He told me he lived in Marlborough Street Im sure said Mr Hale with a much perplexed air
Perhaps it is one of the economies he still practises to live in a very small house But here are plenty of people about let me ask
She accordingly inquired of a passerby and was informed that Mr Thornton lived close to the mill and had the factory lodgedoor pointed out to her at the end of the long dead wall they had noticed
The lodgedoor was like a common gardendoor on one side of it were great closed gates for the ingress and egress of lurries and wagons The lodgekeeper admitted them into a great oblong yard on one side of which were offices for the transaction of business on the opposite an immense manywindowed mill whence proceeded the continual clank of machinery and the long groaning roar of the steamengine enough to deafen those who lived within the enclosure Opposite to the wall along which the street ran on one of the narrow sides of the oblong was a handsome stonecoped house—blackened to be sure by the smoke but with paint windows and steps kept scrupulously clean It was evidently a house which had been built some fifty or sixty years The stone facings—the long narrow windows and the number of them—the flights of steps up to the front door ascending from either side and guarded by railing—all witnessed to its age Margaret only wondered why people who could afford to live in so good a house and keep it in such perfect order did not prefer a much smaller dwelling in the country or even some suburb not in the continual whirl and din of the factory Her unaccustomed ears could hardly catch her fathers voice as they stood on the steps awaiting the opening of the door The yard too with the great doors in the dead wall as a boundary was but a dismal lookout for the sittingrooms of the house—as Margaret found when they had mounted the oldfashioned stairs and been ushered into the drawingroom the three windows of which went over the front door and the room on the righthand side of the entrance There was no one in the drawingroom It seemed as though no one had been in it since the day when the furniture was bagged up with as much care as if the house was to be overwhelmed with lava and discovered a thousand years hence The walls were pink and gold the pattern on the carpet represented bunches of flowers on a light ground but it was carefully covered up in the centre by a linen drugget glazed and colourless The windowcurtains were lace each chair and sofa had its own particular veil of netting or knitting Great alabaster groups occupied every flat surface safe from dust under their glass shades In the middle of the room right under the baggedup chandelier was a large circular table with smartlybound books arranged at regular intervals round the circumference of its polished surface like gailycoloured spokes of a wheel Everything reflected light nothing absorbed it The whole room had a painfully spotted spangled speckled look about it which impressed Margaret so unpleasantly that she was hardly conscious of the peculiar cleanliness required to keep everything so white and pure in such an atmosphere or of the trouble that must be willingly expended to secure that effect of icy snowy discomfort Wherever she looked there was evidence of care and labour but not care and labour to procure ease to help on habits of tranquil home employment solely to ornament and then to preserve ornament from dirt or destruction
They had leisure to observe and to speak to each other in low voices before Mrs Thornton appeared They were talking of what all the world might hear but it is a common effect of such a room as this to make people speak low as if unwilling to awaken the unused echoes
At last Mrs Thornton came in rustling in handsome black silk as was her wont her muslins and laces rivalling not excelling the pure whiteness of the muslins and netting of the room Margaret explained how it was that her mother could not accompany them to return Mrs Thorntons call but in her anxiety not to bring back her fathers fears too vividly she gave but a bungling account and left the impression on Mrs Thorntons mind that Mrs Hales was some temporary or fanciful fineladyish indisposition which might have been put aside had there been a strong enough motive or that if it was too severe to allow her to come out that day the call might have been deferred Remembering too the horses to her carriage hired for her own visit to the Hales and how Fanny had been ordered to go by Mr Thornton in order to pay every respect to them Mrs Thornton drew up slightly offended and gave Margaret no sympathy—indeed hardly any credit for the statement of her mothers indisposition
How is Mr Thornton asked Mr Hale I was afraid he was not well from his hurried note yesterday
My son is rarely ill and when he is he never speaks about it or makes it an excuse for not doing anything He told me he could not get leisure to read with you last night sir He regretted it I am sure he values the hours spent with you
I am sure they are equally agreeable to me said Mr Hale It makes me feel young again to see his enjoyment and appreciation of all that is fine in classical literature
I have no doubt the classics are very desirable for people who have leisure But I confess it was against my judgment that my son renewed his study of them The time and place in which he lives seem to me to require all his energy and attention Classics may do very well for men who loiter away their lives in the country or in colleges but Milton men ought to have their thoughts and powers absorbed in the work of today At least that is my opinion This last clause she gave out with the pride that apes humility
But surely if the mind is too long directed to one object only it will get stiff and rigid and unable to take in many interests said Margaret
I do not quite understand what you mean by a mind getting stiff and rigid Nor do I admire those whirligig characters that are full of this thing today to be utterly forgetful of it in their new interest tomorrow Having many interests does not suit the life of a Milton manufacturer It is or ought to be enough for him to have one great desire and to bring all the purposes of his life to bear on the fulfilment of that
And that is— asked Mr Hale
Her sallow cheek flushed and her eye lightened as she answered
To hold and maintain a high honourable place among the merchants of his country—the men of his town Such a place my son has earned for himself Go where you will—I dont say in England only but in Europe—the name of John Thornton of Milton is known and respected amongst all men of business Of course it is unknown in the fashionable circles she continued scornfully
Idle gentlemen and ladies are not likely to know much of a Milton manufacturer unless he gets into parliament or marries a lords daughter Both Mr Hale and Margaret had an uneasy ludicrous consciousness that they had never heard of this great name until Mr Bell had written them word that Mr Thornton would be a good friend to have in Milton The proud mothers world was not their world of Harley Street gentilities on the one hand or country clergymen and Hampshire squires on the other Margarets face in spite of all her endeavours to keep it simply listening in its expression told the sensitive Mrs Thornton this feeling of hers
You think you never heard of this wonderful son of mine Miss Hale You think Im an old woman whose ideas are bounded by Milton and whose own crow is the whitest ever seen
No said Margaret with some spirit It may be true that I was thinking I had hardly heard Mr Thorntons name before I came to Milton But since I have come here I have heard enough to make me respect and admire him and to feel how much justice and truth there is in what you have said of him
Who spoke to you of him asked Mrs Thornton a little mollified yet jealous lest any one elses words should not have done him full justice Margaret hesitated before she replied She did not like this authoritative questioning Mr Hale came in as he thought to the rescue
It was what Mr Thornton said himself that made us know the kind of man he was Was it not Margaret
Mrs Thornton drew herself up and said—
My son is not the one to tell of his own doings May I again ask you Miss Hale from whose account you formed your favourable opinion of him A mother is curious and greedy of commendation of her children you know
Margaret replied It was as much from what Mr Thornton withheld of that which we had been told of his previous life by Mr Bell—it was more that than what he said that made us all feel what reason you have to be proud of him
Mr Bell What can he know of John He living a lazy life in a drowsy college But Im obliged to you Miss Hale Many a missy young lady would have shrunk from giving an old woman the pleasure of hearing that her son was well spoken of
Why asked Margaret looking straight at Mrs Thornton in bewilderment
Why because I suppose they might have consciences that told them how surely they were making the old mother into an advocate for them in case they had any plans on the sons heart
She smiled a grim smile for she had been pleased by Margarets frankness and perhaps she felt that she had been asking questions too much as if she had a right to catechise Margaret laughed outright at the notion presented to her laughed so merrily that it grated on Mrs Thorntons ear as if the words that called forth that laugh must have been utterly and entirely ludicrous Margaret stopped her merriment as soon as she saw Mrs Thorntons annoyed look
I beg your pardon madam But I really am very much obliged to you for exonerating me from making any plans on Mr Thorntons heart
Young ladies have before now said Mrs Thornton stiffly
I hope Miss Thornton is well put in Mr Hale desirous of changing the current of the conversation
She is as well as she ever is She is not strong replied Mrs Thornton shortly
And Mr Thornton I suppose I may hope to see him on Thursday
I cannot answer for my sons engagements There is some uncomfortable work going on in the town a threatening of a strike If so his experience and judgment will make him much consulted by his friends But I should think he could come on Thursday At any rate I am sure he will let you know if he cannot
A strike asked Margaret What for What are they going to strike for
For the mastership and ownership of other peoples property said Mrs Thornton with a fierce snort That is what they always strike for If my sons workpeople strike I will only say they are a pack of ungrateful hounds But I have no doubt they will
They are wanting higher wages I suppose asked Mr Hale
That is the face of the thing But the truth is they want to be masters and make the masters into slaves on their own ground They are always trying at it they always have it in their minds and every five or six years there comes a struggle between masters and men Theyll find themselves mistaken this time I fancy—a little out of their reckoning If they turn out they maynt find it so easy to go in again I believe the masters have a thing or two in their heads which will teach the men not to strike again in a hurry if they try it this time
Does it not make the town very rough asked Margaret
Of course it does But surely you are not a coward are you Milton is not the place for cowards I have known the time when I have had to thread my way through a crowd of white angry men all swearing they would have Makinsons blood as soon as he ventured to show his nose out of his factory and he knowing nothing of it some one had to go and tell him or he was a dead man and it needed to be a woman—so I went And when I had got in I could not get out It was as much as my life was worth So I went up to the roof where there were stones piled ready to drop on the heads of the crowd if they tried to force the factory doors And I would have lifted those heavy stones and dropped them with as good an aim as the best man there but that I fainted with the heat I had gone through If you live in Milton you must learn to have a brave heart Miss Hale
I would do my best said Margaret rather pale I do not know whether I am brave or not till I am tried but I am afraid I should be a coward
South country people are often frightened by what our Darkshire men and women only call living and struggling But when youve been ten years among a people who are always owing their betters a grudge and only waiting for an opportunity to pay it off youll know whether you are a coward or not take my word for it
Mr Thornton came that evening to Mr Hales He was shown up into the drawingroom where Mr Hale was reading aloud to his wife and daughter
I am come partly to bring you a note from my mother and partly to apologise for not keeping to my time yesterday The note contains the address you asked for Dr Donaldson
Thank you said Margaret hastily holding out her hand to take the note for she did not wish her mother to hear that they had been making any inquiry about a doctor She was pleased that Mr Thornton seemed immediately to understand her feeling he gave her the note without another word of explanation Mr Hale began to talk about the strike Mr Thorntons face assumed a likeness to his mothers worst expression which immediately repelled the watching Margaret
Yes the fools will have a strike Let them It suits us well enough But we gave them a chance They think trade is flourishing as it was last year We see the storm on the horizon and draw in our sails But because we dont explain our reasons they wont believe were acting reasonably We must give them line and letter for the way we choose to spend or save our money Henderson tried a dodge with his men out at Ashley and failed He rather wanted a strike it would have suited his book well enough So when the men came to ask for the five per cent they are claiming he told em hed think about it and give them his answer on the pay day knowing all the while what his answer would be of course but thinking hed strengthen their conceit of their own way However they were too deep for him and heard something about the bad prospects of trade So in they came on the Friday and drew back their claim and now hes obliged to go on working But we Milton masters have today sent in our decision We wont advance a penny We tell them we may have to lower wages but cant afford to raise So here we stand waiting for their next attack
And what will that be asked Mr Hale
I conjecture a simultaneous strike You will see Milton without smoke in a few days I imagine Miss Hale
But why asked she could you not explain what good reason you have for expecting a bad trade I dont know whether I use the right words but you will understand what I mean
Do you give your servants reasons for your expenditure or your economy in the use of your own money We the owners of capital have a right to choose what we will do with it
A human right said Margaret very low
I beg your pardon I did not hear what you said
I would rather not repeat it said she it related to a feeling which I do not think you would share
Wont you try me pleaded he his thoughts suddenly bent upon learning what she had said She was displeased with his pertinacity but did not choose to affix too much importance to her words
I said you had a human right I meant that there seemed no reason but religious ones why you should not do what you like with your own
I know we differ in our religious opinions but dont you give me credit for having some though not the same as yours
He was speaking in a subdued voice as if to her alone She did not wish to be so exclusively addressed She replied out in her usual tone
I do not think that I have any occasion to consider your special religious opinions in the affair All I meant to say is that there is no human law to prevent the employers from utterly wasting or throwing away all their money if they choose but that there are passages in the Bible which would rather imply—to me at least—that they neglected their duty as stewards if they did so However I know so little about strikes and rate of wages and capital and labour that I had better not talk to a political economist like you
Nay the more reason said he eagerly I shall only be too glad to explain to you all that may seem anomalous or mysterious to a stranger especially at a time like this when our doings are sure to be canvassed by every scribbler who can hold a pen
Thank you she answered coldly Of course I shall apply to my father in the first instance for any information he can give me if I get puzzled with living here amongst this strange society
You think it strange Why
I dont know—I suppose because on the very face of it I see two classes dependent on each other in every possible way yet each evidently regarding the interests of the other as opposed to their own I never lived in a place before where there were two sets of people always running each other down
Who have you heard running the masters down I dont ask who you have heard abusing the men for I see you persist in misunderstanding what I said the other day But who have you heard abusing the masters
Margaret reddened then smiled as she said
I am not fond of being catechised I refuse to answer your question Besides it has nothing to do with the fact You must take my word for it that I have heard some people or it may be only someone of the workpeople speak as though it were the interest of the employers to keep them from acquiring money—that it would make them too independent if they had a sum in the savings bank
I dare say it was that man Higgins who told you all this said Mrs Hale Mr Thornton did not appear to hear what Margaret evidently did not wish him to know But he caught it nevertheless
I heard moreover that it was considered to the advantage of the masters to have ignorant workmen—not hedgelawyers as Captain Lennox used to call those men in his company who questioned and would know the reason for every order This latter part of her sentence she addressed rather to her father than to Mr Thornton Who is Captain Lennox asked Mr Thornton of himself with a strange kind of displeasure that prevented him for the moment from replying to her Her father took up the conversation
You never were fond of schools Margaret or you would have seen and known before this how much is being done for education in Milton
No said she with sudden meekness I know I do not care enough about schools But the knowledge and the ignorance of which I was speaking did not relate to reading and writing—the teaching or information one can give to a child I am sure that what was meant was ignorance of the wisdom that shall guide men and women I hardly know what that is But he—that is my informant—spoke as if the masters would like their hands to be merely tall large children—living in the present moment—with a blind unreasoning kind of obedience
In short Miss Hale it is very evident that your informant found a pretty ready listener to all the slander he chose to utter against the masters said Mr Thornton in an offended tone
Margaret did not reply She was displeased at the personal character Mr Thornton affixed to what she had said
Mr Hale spoke next
I must confess that although I have not become so intimately acquainted with any workmen as Margaret has I am very much struck by the antagonism between the employer and the employed on the very surface of things I even gather this impression from what you yourself have from time to time said
Mr Thornton paused awhile before he spoke Margaret had just left the room and he was vexed at the state of feeling between himself and her However the little annoyance by making him cooler and more thoughtful gave a greater dignity to what he said
My theory is that my interests are identical with those of my workpeople and viceversa Miss Hale I know does not like to hear men called hands so I wont use that word though it comes most readily to my lips as the technical term whose origin whatever it was dates before my time On some future day—in some millennium—in Utopia this unity may be brought into practice—just as I can fancy a republic the most perfect form of government
We will read Platos Republic as soon as we have finished Homer
Well in the Platonic year it may fall out that we are all—men women and children—fit for a republic but give me a constitutional monarchy in our present state of morals and intelligence In our infancy we require a wise despotism to govern us Indeed long past infancy children and young people are the happiest under the unfailing laws of a discreet firm authority I agree with Miss Hale so far as to consider our people in the condition of children while I deny that we the masters have anything to do with the making or keeping them so I maintain that despotism is the best kind of government for them so that in the hours in which I come in contact with them I must necessarily be an autocrat I will use my best discretion—from no humbug or philanthropic feeling of which we have had rather too much in the North—to make wise laws and come to just decisions in the conduct of my business—laws and decisions which work for my own good in the first instance—for theirs in the second but I will neither be forced to give my reasons nor flinch from what I have once declared to be my resolution Let them turn out I shall suffer as well as they but at the end they will find I have not bated nor altered one jot
Margaret had reentered the room and was sitting at her work but she did not speak Mr Hale answered—
I dare say I am talking in great ignorance but from the little I know I should say that the masses were already passing rapidly into the troublesome stage which intervenes between childhood and manhood in the life of the multitude as well as that of the individual Now the error which many parents commit in the treatment of the individual at this time is insisting on the same unreasoning obedience as when all he had to do in the way of duty was to obey the simple laws of Come when youre called and Do as youre bid But a wise parent humours the desire for independent action so as to become the friend and adviser when his absolute rule shall cease If I get wrong in my reasoning recollect it is you who adopted the analogy
Very lately said Margaret I heard a story of what happened in Nuremberg only three or four years ago A rich man there lived alone in one of the immense mansions which were formerly both dwellings and warehouses It was reported that he had a child but no one knew of it for certain For forty years this rumour kept rising and falling—never utterly dying away After his death it was found to be true He had a son—an overgrown man with the unexercised intellect of a child whom he had kept up in that strange way in order to save him from temptation and error But of course when this great old child was turned loose into the world every bad counsellor had power over him He did not know good from evil His father had made the blunder of bringing him up in ignorance and taking it for innocence and after fourteen months of riotous living the city authorities had to take charge of him in order to save him from starvation He could not even use words effectively enough to be a successful beggar
I used the comparison suggested by Miss Hale of the position of the master to that of a parent so I ought not to complain of your turning the simile into a weapon against me But Mr Hale when you were setting up a wise parent as a model for us you said he humoured his children in their desire for independent action Now certainly the time is not come for the hands to have any independent action during business hours I hardly know what you would mean by it then And I say that the masters would be trenching on the independence of their hands in a way that I for one should not feel justified in doing if we interfered too much with the life they lead out of the mills Because they labour ten hours aday for us I do not see that we have any right to impose leadingstrings upon them for the rest of their time I value my own independence so highly that I can fancy no degradation greater than that of having another man perpetually directing and advising and lecturing me or even planning too closely in any way about my actions He might be the wisest of men or the most powerful—I should equally rebel and resent his interference I imagine this is a stronger feeling in the North of England that in the South
I beg your pardon but is not that because there has been none of the equality of friendship between the adviser and advised classes Because every man has had to stand in an unchristian and isolated position apart from and jealous of his brotherman constantly afraid of his rights being trenched upon
I only state the fact I am sorry to say I have an appointment at eight oclock and I must just take facts as I find them tonight without trying to account for them which indeed would make no difference in determining how to act as things stand—the facts must be granted
But said Margaret in a low voice it seems to me that it makes all the difference in the world— Her father made a sign to her to be silent and allow Mr Thornton to finish what he had to say He was already standing up and preparing to go
You must grant me this one point Given a strong feeling of independence in every Darkshire man have I any right to obtrude my views of the manner in which he shall act upon another hating it as I should do most vehemently myself merely because he has labour to sell and I capital to buy
Not in the least said Margaret determined just to say this one thing not in the least because of your labour and capital positions whatever they are but because you are a man dealing with a set of men over whom you have whether you reject the use of it or not immense power just because your lives and your welfare are so constantly and intimately interwoven God has made us so that we must be mutually dependent We may ignore our own dependence or refuse to acknowledge that others depend upon us in more respects than the payment of weekly wages but the thing must be nevertheless Neither you nor any other master can help yourselves The most proudly independent man depends on those around him for their insensible influence on his character—his life And the most isolated of all your Darkshire Egos has dependants clinging to him on all sides he cannot shake them off any more than the great rock he resembles can shake off—
Pray dont go into similes Margaret you have led us off once already said her father smiling yet uneasy at the thought that they were detaining Mr Thornton against his will which was a mistake for he rather liked it as long as Margaret would talk although what she said only irritated him
Just tell me Miss Hale are you yourself ever influenced—no that is not a fair way of putting it—but if you are ever conscious of being influenced by others and not by circumstances have those others been working directly or indirectly Have they been labouring to exhort to enjoin to act rightly for the sake of example or have they been simple true men taking up their duty and doing it unflinchingly without a thought of how their actions were to make this man industrious that man saving Why if I were a workman I should be twenty times more impressed by the knowledge that my master was honest punctual quick resolute in all his doings and hands are keener spies even than valets than by any amount of interference however kindly meant with my ways of going on out of workhours I do not choose to think too closely on what I am myself but I believe I rely on the straightforward honesty of my hands and the open nature of their opposition in contradistinction to the way in which the turnout will be managed in some mills just because they know I scorn to take a single dishonourable advantage or do an underhand thing myself It goes farther than a whole course of lectures on Honesty is the Best Policy—life diluted into words No no What the master is that will the men be without overmuch taking thought on his part
That is a great admission said Margaret laughing When I see men violent and obstinate in pursuit of their rights I may safely infer that the master is the same that he is a little ignorant of that spirit which suffereth long and is kind and seeketh not her own
You are just like all strangers who dont understand the working of our system Miss Hale said he hastily You suppose that our men are puppets of dough ready to be moulded into any amiable form we please You forget we have only to do with them for less than a third of their lives and you seem not to perceive that the duties of a manufacturer are far larger and wider than those merely of an employer of labour we have a wide commercial character to maintain which makes us into the great pioneers of civilisation
It strikes me said Mr Hale smiling that you might pioneer a little at home They are a rough heathenish set of fellows these Milton men of yours
They are that replied Mr Thornton Rosewater surgery wont do for them Cromwell would have made a capital millowner Miss Hale I wish we had him to put down this strike for us
Cromwell is no hero of mine said she coldly But I am trying to reconcile your admiration of despotism with your respect for other mens independence of character
He reddened at her tone I choose to be the unquestioned and irresponsible master of my hands during the hours that they labour for me But those hours past our relation ceases and then comes in the same respect for their independence that I myself exact
He did not speak again for a minute he was too much vexed But he shook it off and bade Mr and Mrs Hale good night Then drawing near to Margaret he said in a lower voice—
I spoke hastily to you once this evening and I am afraid rather rudely But you know I am but an uncouth Milton manufacturer will you forgive me
Certainly said she smiling up in his face the expression of which was somewhat anxious and oppressed and hardly cleared away as he met her sweet sunny countenance out of which all the northwind effect of their discussion had entirely vanished But she did not put out her hand to him and again he felt the omission and set it down to pride
CHAPTER XVI—THE SHADOW OF DEATH
Trust in that veiled hand which leads
None by the path that he would go
And always be for change prepared
For the worlds law is ebb and flow
FROM THE ARABIC
The next afternoon Dr Donaldson came to pay his first visit to Mrs Hale The mystery that Margaret hoped their late habits of intimacy had broken through was resumed She was excluded from the room while Dixon was admitted Margaret was not a ready lover but where she loved she loved passionately and with no small degree of jealousy
She went into her mothers bedroom just behind the drawingroom and paced it up and down while awaiting the doctors coming out Every now and then she stopped to listen she fancied she heard a moan She clenched her hands tight and held her breath She was sure she heard a moan Then all was still for a few minutes more and then there was the moving of chairs the raised voices all the little disturbances of leavetaking
When she heard the door open she went quickly out of the bedroom
My father is from home Dr Donaldson he has to attend a pupil at this hour May I trouble you to come into his room downstairs
She saw and triumphed over all the obstacles which Dixon threw in her way assuming her rightful position as daughter of the house in something of the spirit of the Elder Brother which quelled the old servants officiousness very effectually Margarets conscious assumption of this unusual dignity of demeanour towards Dixon gave her an instants amusement in the midst of her anxiety She knew from the surprised expression on Dixons face how ridiculously grand she herself must be looking and the idea carried her downstairs into the room it gave her that length of oblivion from the keen sharpness of the recollection of the actual business in hand Now that came back and seemed to take away her breath It was a moment or two before she could utter a word
But she spoke with an air of command as she asked—
What is the matter with mamma You will oblige me by telling the simple truth Then seeing a slight hesitation on the doctors part she added—
I am the only child she has—here I mean My father is not sufficiently alarmed I fear and therefore if there is any serious apprehension it must be broken to him gently I can do this I can nurse my mother Pray speak sir to see your face and not be able to read it gives me a worse dread than I trust any words of yours will justify
My dear young lady your mother seems to have a most attentive and efficient servant who is more like her friend—
I am her daughter sir
But when I tell you she expressly desired that you might not be told—
I am not good or patient enough to submit to the prohibition Besides I am sure you are too wise—too experienced to have promised to keep the secret
Well said he halfsmiling though sadly enough there you are right I did not promise In fact I fear the secret will be known soon enough without my revealing it
He paused Margaret went very white and compressed her lips a little more Otherwise not a feature moved With the quick insight into character without which no medical man can rise to the eminence of Dr Donaldson he saw that she would exact the full truth that she would know if one iota was withheld and that the withholding would be torture more acute than the knowledge of it He spoke two short sentences in a low voice watching her all the time for the pupils of her eyes dilated into a black horror and the whiteness of her complexion became livid He ceased speaking He waited for that look to go off—for her gasping breath to come Then she said—
I thank you most truly sir for your confidence That dread has haunted me for many weeks It is a true real agony My poor poor mother her lips began to quiver and he let her have the relief of tears sure of her power of selfcontrol to check them
A few tears—those were all she shed before she recollected the many questions she longed to ask
Will there be much suffering
He shook his head That we cannot tell It depends on constitution on a thousand things But the late discoveries of medical science have given us large power of alleviation
My father said Margaret trembling all over
I do not know Mr Hale I mean it is difficult to give advice But I should say bear on with the knowledge you have forced me to give you so abruptly till the fact which I could not withhold has become in some degree familiar to you so that you may without too great an effort be able to give what comfort you can to your father Before then—my visits which of course I shall repeat from time to time although I fear I can do nothing but alleviate—a thousand little circumstances will have occurred to awaken his alarm to deepen it—so that he will be all the better prepared—Nay my dear young lady—nay my dear—I saw Mr Thornton and I honour your father for the sacrifice he has made however mistaken I may believe him to be—Well this once if it will please you my dear Only remember when I come again I come as a friend And you must learn to look upon me as such because seeing each other—getting to know each other at such times as these is worth years of morning calls Margaret could not speak for crying but she wrung his hand at parting
Thats what I call a fine girl thought Dr Donaldson when he was seated in his carriage and had time to examine his ringed hand which had slightly suffered from her pressure Who would have thought that little hand could have given such a squeeze But the bones were well put together and that gives immense power What a queen she is With her head thrown back at first to force me into speaking the truth and then bent so eagerly forward to listen Poor thing I must see she does not overstrain herself Though its astonishing how much those thoroughbred creatures can do and suffer That girls game to the backbone Another who had gone that deadly colour could never have come round without either fainting or hysterics But she wouldnt do either—not she And the very force of her will brought her round Such a girl as that would win my heart if I were thirty years younger Its too late now Ah here we are at the Archers So out he jumped with thought wisdom experience sympathy and ready to attend to the calls made upon them by this family just as if there were none other in the world
Meanwhile Margaret had returned into her fathers study for a moment to recover strength before going upstairs into her mothers presence
Oh my God my God but this is terrible How shall I bear it Such a deadly disease no hope Oh mamma mamma I wish I had never gone to aunt Shaws and been all those precious years away from you Poor mamma how much she must have borne Oh I pray thee my God that her sufferings may not be too acute too dreadful How shall I bear to see them How can I bear papas agony He must not be told yet not all at once It would kill him But I wont lose another moment of my own dear precious mother
She ran upstairs Dixon was not in the room Mrs Hale lay back in an easy chair with a soft white shawl wrapped around her and a becoming cap put on in expectation of the doctors visit Her face had a little faint colour in it and the very exhaustion after the examination gave it a peaceful look Margaret was surprised to see her look so calm
Why Margaret how strange you look What is the matter And then as the idea stole into her mind of what was indeed the real state of the case she added as if a little displeased you have not been seeing Dr Donaldson and asking him any questions—have you child Margaret did not reply—only looked wistfully towards her Mrs Hale became more displeased He would not surely break his word to me and—
Oh yes mamma he did I made him It was I—blame me She knelt down by her mothers side and caught her hand—she would not let it go though Mrs Hale tried to pull it away She kept kissing it and the hot tears she shed bathed it
Margaret it was very wrong of you You knew I did not wish you to know But as if tired with the contest she left her hand in Margarets clasp and byandby she returned the pressure faintly That encouraged Margaret to speak
Oh mamma let me be your nurse I will learn anything Dixon can teach me But you know I am your child and I do think I have a right to do everything for you
You dont know what you are asking said Mrs Hale with a shudder
Yes I do I know a great deal more than you are aware of Let me be your nurse Let me try at any rate No one has ever shall ever try so hard as I will do It will be such a comfort mamma
My poor child Well you shall try Do you know Margaret Dixon and I thought you would quite shrink from me if you knew—
Dixon thought said Margaret her lip curling Dixon could not give me credit for enough true love—for as much as herself She thought I suppose that I was one of those poor sickly women who like to lie on rose leaves and be fanned all day Dont let Dixons fancies come any more between you and me mamma Dont please implored she
Dont be angry with Dixon said Mrs Hale anxiously Margaret recovered herself
No I wont I will try and be humble and learn her ways if you will only let me do all I can for you Let me be in the first place mother—I am greedy of that I used to fancy you would forget me while I was away at aunt Shaws and cry myself to sleep at nights with that notion in my head
And I used to think how will Margaret bear our makeshift poverty after the thorough comfort and luxury in Harley Street till I have many a time been more ashamed of your seeing our contrivances at Helstone than of any stranger finding them out
Oh mamma and I did so enjoy them They were so much more amusing than all the jogtrot Harley Street ways The wardrobe shelf with handles that served as a suppertray on grand occasions And the old teachests stuffed and covered for ottomans I think what you call the makeshift contrivances at dear Helstone were a charming part of the life there
I shall never see Helstone again Margaret said Mrs Hale the tears welling up into her eyes Margaret could not reply Mrs Hale went on While I was there I was for ever wanting to leave it Every place seemed pleasanter And now I shall die far away from it I am rightly punished
You must not talk so said Margaret impatiently He said you might live for years Oh mother we will have you back at Helstone yet
No never That I must take as a just penance But Margaret—Frederick At the mention of that one word she suddenly cried out loud as in some sharp agony It seemed as if the thought of him upset all her composure destroyed the calm overcame the exhaustion Wild passionate cry succeeded to cry—Frederick Frederick Come to me I am dying Little firstborn child come to me once again
She was in violent hysterics Margaret went and called Dixon in terror Dixon came in a huff and accused Margaret of having overexcited her mother Margaret bore all meekly only trusting that her father might not return In spite of her alarm which was even greater than the occasion warranted she obeyed all Dixons directions promptly and well without a word of selfjustification By so doing she mollified her accuser They put her mother to bed and Margaret sate by her till she fell asleep and afterwards till Dixon beckoned her out of the room and with a sour face as if doing something against the grain she bade her drink a cup of coffee which she had prepared for her in the drawingroom and stood over her in a commanding attitude as she did so
You shouldnt have been so curious Miss and then you wouldnt have needed to fret before your time It would have come soon enough And now I suppose youll tell master and a pretty household I shall have of you
No Dixon said Margaret sorrowfully I will not tell papa He could not bear it as I can And by way of proving how well she bore it she burst into tears
Ay I knew how it would be Now youll waken your mamma just after shes gone to sleep so quietly Miss Margaret my dear Ive had to keep it down this many a week and though I dont pretend I can love her as you do yet I loved her better than any other man woman or child—no one but Master Frederick ever came near her in my mind Ever since Lady Beresfords maid first took me in to see her dressed out in white crape and cornears and scarlet poppies and I ran a needle down into my finger and broke it in and she tore up her worked pockethandkerchief after theyd cut it out and came in to wet the bandages again with lotion when she returned from the ball—where shed been the prettiest young lady of all—Ive never loved any one like her I little thought then that I should live to see her brought so low I dont mean no reproach to nobody Many a one calls you pretty and handsome and what not Even in this smoky place enough to blind ones eyes the owls can see that But youll never be like your mother for beauty—never not if you live to be a hundred
Mamma is very pretty still Poor mamma
Now dont ye set off again or I shall give way at last whimpering Youll never stand masters coming home and questioning at this rate Go out and take a walk and come in something like Manys the time Ive longed to walk it off—the thought of what was the matter with her and how it must all end
Oh Dixon said Margaret how often Ive been cross with you not knowing what a terrible secret you had to bear
Bless you child I like to see you showing a bit of a spirit Its the good old Beresford blood Why the last Sir John but two shot his steward down there where he stood for just telling him that hed racked the tenants and hed racked the tenants till he could get no more money off them than he could get skin off a flint
Well Dixon I wont shoot you and Ill try not to be cross again
You never have If Ive said it at times it has always been to myself just in private by way of making a little agreeable conversation for theres no one here fit to talk to And when you fire up youre the very image of Master Frederick I could find in my heart to put you in a passion any day just to see his stormy look coming like a great cloud over your face But now you go out Miss Ill watch over missus and as for master his books are company enough for him if he should come in
I will go said Margaret She hung about Dixon for a minute or so as if afraid and irresolute then suddenly kissing her she went quickly out of the room
Bless her said Dixon Shes as sweet as a nut There are three people I love its missus Master Frederick and her Just them three Thats all The rest be hanged for I dont know what theyre in the world for Master was born I suppose for to marry missus If I thought he loved her properly I might get to love him in time But he should ha made a deal more on her and not been always reading reading thinking thinking See what it has brought him to Many a one who never reads nor thinks either gets to be Rector and Dean and what not and I dare say master might if hed just minded missus and let the weary reading and thinking alone—There she goes looking out of the window as she heard the front door shut Poor young lady her clothes look shabby to what they did when she came to Helstone a year ago Then she hadnt so much as a darned stocking or a cleaned pair of gloves in all her wardrobe And now—
CHAPTER XVII—WHAT IS A STRIKE
There are briars besetting every path
Which call for patient care
There is a cross in every lot
And an earnest need for prayer
ANON
Margaret went out heavily and unwillingly enough But the length of a street—yes the air of a Milton Street—cheered her young blood before she reached her first turning Her step grew lighter her lip redder She began to take notice instead of having her thoughts turned so exclusively inward She saw unusual loiterers in the streets men with their hands in their pockets sauntering along loudlaughing and loudspoken girls clustered together apparently excited to high spirits and a boisterous independence of temper and behaviour The more illlooking of the men—the discreditable minority—hung about on the steps of the beerhouses and ginshops smoking and commenting pretty freely on every passerby Margaret disliked the prospect of the long walk through these streets before she came to the fields which she had planned to reach Instead she would go and see Bessy Higgins It would not be so refreshing as a quiet country walk but still it would perhaps be doing the kinder thing
Nicholas Higgins was sitting by the fire smoking as she went in Bessy was rocking herself on the other side
Nicholas took the pipe out of his mouth and standing up pushed his chair towards Margaret he leant against the chimney piece in a lounging attitude while she asked Bessy how she was
Hoos rather down i th mouth in regard to spirits but hoos better in health Hoo doesnt like this strike Hoos a deal too much set on peace and quietness at any price
This is th third strike Ive seen said she sighing as if that was answer and explanation enough
Well third time pays for all See if we dont dang th masters this time See if they dont come and beg us to come back at our own price Thats all Weve missed it afore time I grant yo but this time wen laid our plans desperate deep
Why do you strike asked Margaret Striking is leaving off work till you get your own rate of wages is it not You must not wonder at my ignorance where I come from I never heard of a strike
I wish I were there said Bessy wearily But its not for me to get sick and tired o strikes This is the last Ill see Before its ended I shall be in the Great City—the Holy Jerusalem
Hoos so full of th life to come hoo cannot think of th present Now I yo see am bound to do the best I can here I think a bird i th hand is worth two i th bush So thems the different views we take on th strike question
But said Margaret if the people struck as you call it where I come from as they are mostly all field labourers the seed would not be sown the hay got in the corn reaped
Well said he He had resumed his pipe and put his well in the form of an interrogation
Why she went on what would become of the farmers
He puffed away I reckon theyd have either to give up their farms or to give fair rate of wage
Suppose they could not or would not do the last they could not give up their farms all in a minute however much they might wish to do so but they would have no hay nor corn to sell that year and where would the money come from to pay the labourers wages the next
Still puffing away At last he said
I know nought of your ways down South I have heerd theyre a pack of spiritless downtrodden men welly clemmed to death too much dazed wi clemming to know when theyre put upon Now its not so here We known when were put upon and ween too much blood in us to stand it We just take our hands fro our looms and say Yo may clem us but yoll not put upon us my masters And be danged to em they shant this time
I wish I lived down South said Bessy
Theres a deal to bear there said Margaret There are sorrows to bear everywhere There is very hard bodily labour to be gone through with very little food to give strength
But its out of doors said Bessy And away from the endless endless noise and sickening heat
Its sometimes in heavy rain and sometimes in bitter cold A young person can stand it but an old man gets racked with rheumatism and bent and withered before his time yet he must just work on the same or else go to the workhouse
I thought yo were so taken wi the ways of the South country
So I am said Margaret smiling a little as she found herself thus caught I only mean Bessy theres good and bad in everything in this world and as you felt the bad up here I thought it was but fair you should know the bad down there
And yo say they never strike down there asked Nicholas abruptly
No said Margaret I think they have too much sense
An I think replied he dashing the ashes out of his pipe with so much vehemence that it broke its not that theyve too much sense but that theyve too little spirit
O father said Bessy what have ye gained by striking Think of that first strike when mother died—how we all had to clem—you the worst of all and yet many a one went in every week at the same wage till all were gone in that there was work for and some went beggars all their lives at after
Ay said he That there strike was badly managed Folk got into th management of it as were either fools or not true men Yoll see itll be different this time
But all this time youve not told me what youre striking for said Margaret again
Why yo see theres five or six masters who have set themselves again paying the wages theyve been paying these two years past and flourishing upon and getting richer upon And now they come to us and say were to take less And we wont Well just clem them to death first and see wholl work for em then Theyll have killed the goose that laid em the golden eggs I reckon
And so you plan dying in order to be revenged upon them
No said he I dunnot I just look forward to the chance of dying at my post sooner than yield Thats what folk call fine and honourable in a soldier and why not in a poor weaverchap
But said Margaret a soldier dies in the cause of the Nation—in the cause of others
He laughed grimly My lass said he yore but a young wench but dont yo think I can keep three people—thats Bessy and Mary and me—on sixteen shilling a week Dun yo think its for mysel Im striking work at this time Its just as much in the cause of others as yon soldier—only mappen the cause he dies for is just that of somebody he never clapt eyes on nor heerd on all his born days while I take up John Bouchers cause as lives next door but one wi a sickly wife and eight childer none on em factory age and I dont take up his cause only though hes a poor goodfornought as can only manage two looms at a time but I take up th cause o justice Why are we to have less wage now I ask than two year ago
Dont ask me said Margaret I am very ignorant Ask some of your masters Surely they will give you a reason for it It is not merely an arbitrary decision of theirs come to without reason
Yore just a foreigner and nothing more said he contemptuously Much yo know about it Ask th masters Theyd tell us to mind our own business and theyd mind theirs Our business being yo understand to take the bated wage and be thankful and their business to bate us down to clemming point to swell their profits Thats what it is
But said Margaret determined not to give way although she saw she was irritating him the state of trade may be such as not to enable them to give you the same remuneration
State o trade Thats just a piece o masters humbug Its rate o wages I was talking of Th masters keep th state o trade in their own hands and just walk it forward like a black bugaboo to frighten naughty children with into being good Ill tell yo its their part—their cue as some folks call it—to beat us down to swell their fortunes and its ours to stand up and fight hard—not for ourselves alone but for them round about us—for justice and fair play We help to make their profits and we ought to help spend em Its not that we want their brass so much this time as weve done many a time afore Wen getten money laid by and were resolved to stand and fall together not a man on us will go in for less wage than th Union says is our due So I say hooray for the strike and let Thornton and Slickson and Hamper and their set look to it
Thornton said Margaret Mr Thornton of Marlborough Street
Aye Thornton o Marlborough Mill as we call him
He is one of the masters you are striving with is he not What sort of a master is he
Did yo ever see a bulldog Set a bulldog on hind legs and dress him up in coat and breeches and yon just getten John Thornton
Nay said Margaret laughing I deny that Mr Thornton is plain enough but hes not like a bulldog with its short broad nose and snarling upper lip
No not in look I grant yo But let John Thornton get hold on a notion and hell stick to it like a bulldog yo might pull him away wi a pitchfork ere hed leave go Hes worth fighting wi is John Thornton As for Slickson I take it some o these days hell wheedle his men back wi fair promises that theyll just get cheated out of as soon as theyre in his power again Hell work his fines well out on em Ill warrant Hes as slippery as an eel he is Hes like a cat—as sleek and cunning and fierce Itll never be an honest up and down fight wi him as it will be wi Thornton Thorntons as dour as a doornail an obstinate chap every inch on him—th oud bulldog
Poor Bessy said Margaret turning round to her You sigh over it all You dont like struggling and fighting as your father does do you
No said she heavily Im sick on it I could have wished to have had other talk about me in my latter days than just the clashing and clanging and clattering that has wearied a my life long about work and wages and masters and hands and knobsticks
Poor wench latter days be farred Thourt looking a sight better already for a little stir and change Beside I shall be a deal here to make it more lively for thee
Tobaccosmoke chokes me said she querulously
Then Ill never smoke no more i th house he replied tenderly But why didst thou not tell me afore thou foolish wench
She did not speak for a while and then so low that only Margaret heard her
I reckon hell want a the comfort he can get out o either pipe or drink afore hes done
Her father went out of doors evidently to finish his pipe
Bessy said passionately
Now am not I a fool—am I not Miss—there I knew I ought for to keep father at home and away fro the folk that are always ready for to tempt a man in time o strike to go drink—and there my tongue must needs quarrel with this pipe o hisn—and hell go off I know he will—as often as he wants to smoke—and nobody knows where itll end I wish Id letten myself be choked first
But does your father drink asked Margaret
No—not to say drink replied she still in the same wild excited tone But what win ye have There are days wi you as wi other folk I suppose when yo get up and go through th hours just longing for a bit of a change—a bit of a fillip as it were I know I ha gone and bought a fourpounder out o another bakers shop to common on such days just because I sickened at the thought of going on for ever wi the same sight in my eyes and the same sound in my ears and the same taste i my mouth and the same thought or no thought for that matter in my head day after day for ever Ive longed for to be a man to go spreeing even it were only a tramp to some new place in search o work And father—all men—have it stronger in em than me to get tired o sameness and work for ever And what is em to do Its little blame to them if they do go into th ginshop for to make their blood flow quicker and more lively and see things they never see at no other time—pictures and lookingglass and such like But father never was a drunkard though maybe hes got worse for drink now and then Only yo see and now her voice took a mournful pleading tone at times o strike theres much to knock a man down for all they start so hopefully and wheres the comfort to come fro Hell get angry and mad—they all do—and then they get tired out wi being angry and mad and maybe ha done things in their passion theyd be glad to forget Bless yor sweet pitiful face but yo dunnot know what a strike is yet
Come Bessy said Margaret I wont say youre exaggerating because I dont know enough about it but perhaps as youre not well youre only looking on one side and there is another and a brighter to be looked to
Its all well enough for yo to say so who have lived in pleasant green places all your life long and never known want or care or wickedness either for that matter
Take care said Margaret her cheek flushing and her eye lightening how you judge Bessy I shall go home to my mother who is so ill—so ill Bessy that theres no outlet but death for her out of the prison of her great suffering and yet I must speak cheerfully to my father who has no notion of her real state and to whom the knowledge must come gradually The only person—the only one who could sympathise with me and help me—whose presence could comfort my mother more than any other earthly thing—is falsely accused—would run the risk of death if he came to see his dying mother This I tell you—only you Bessy You must not mention it No other person in Milton—hardly any other person in England knows Have I not care Do I not know anxiety though I go about welldressed and have food enough Oh Bessy God is just and our lots are well portioned out by Him although none but He knows the bitterness of our souls
I ask your pardon replied Bessy humbly Sometimes when Ive thought o my life and the little pleasure Ive had in it Ive believed that maybe I was one of those doomed to die by the falling of a star from heaven And the name of the star is called Wormwood and the third part of the waters became wormwood and men died of the waters because they were made bitter One can bear pain and sorrow better if one thinks it has been prophesied long before for one somehow then it seems as if my pain was needed for the fulfilment otherways it seems all sent for nothing
Nay Bessy—think said Margaret God does not willingly afflict Dont dwell so much on the prophecies but read the clearer parts of the Bible
I dare say it would be wiser but where would I hear such grand words of promise—hear tell o anything so far different fro this dreary world and this town above a as in Revelations Manys the time Ive repeated the verses in the seventh chapter to myself just for the sound Its as good as an organ and as different from every day too No I cannot give up Revelations It gives me more comfort than any other book i the Bible
Let me come and read you some of my favourite chapters
Ay said she greedily come Father will maybe hear yo Hes deaved wi my talking he says its all nought to do with the things o today and thats his business
Where is your sister
Gone fustiancutting I were loth to let her go but somehow we must live and th Union cant afford us much
Now I must go You have done me good Bessy
I done you good
Yes I came here very sad and rather too apt to think my own cause for grief was the only one in the world And now I hear how you have had to bear for years and that makes me stronger
Bless yo I thought a the gooddoing was on the side of gentle folk I shall get proud if I think I can do good to yo
You wont do it if you think about it But youll only puzzle yourself if you do thats one comfort
Yore not like no one I ever seed I dunno what to make of yo
Nor I of myself Goodbye
Bessy stilled her rocking to gaze after her
I wonder if there are many folk like her down South Shes like a breath of country air somehow She freshens me up above a bit Whod ha thought that face—as bright and as strong as the angel I dream of—could have known the sorrow she speaks on I wonder how shell sin All on us must sin I think a deal on her for sure But father does the like I see And Mary even Its not often hoos stirred up to notice much
CHAPTER XVIII—LIKES AND DISLIKES
My heart revolts within me and two voices
Make themselves audible within my bosom
WALLENSTEIN
On Margarets return home she found two letters on the table one was a note for her mother—the other which had come by the post was evidently from her Aunt Shaw—covered with foreign postmarks—thin silvery and rustling She took up the other and was examining it when her father came in suddenly
So your mother is tired and gone to bed early Im afraid such a thundery day was not the best in the world for the doctor to see her What did he say Dixon tells me he spoke to you about her
Margaret hesitated Her fathers looks became more grave and anxious
He does not think her seriously ill
Not at present she needs care he says he was very kind and said he would call again and see how his medicines worked
Only care—he did not recommend change of air—he did not say this smoky town was doing her any harm did he Margaret
No not a word she replied gravely He was anxious I think
Doctors have that anxious manner its professional said he
Margaret saw in her fathers nervous ways that the first impression of possible danger was made upon his mind in spite of all his making light of what she told him He could not forget the subject—could not pass from it to other things he kept recurring to it through the evening with an unwillingness to receive even the slightest unfavourable idea which made Margaret inexpressibly sad
This letter is from Aunt Shaw papa She has got to Naples and finds it too hot so she has taken apartments at Sorrento But I dont think she likes Italy
He did not say anything about diet did he
It was to be nourishing and digestible Mammas appetite is pretty good I think
Yes and that makes it all the more strange he should have thought of speaking about diet
I asked him papa Another pause Then Margaret went on Aunt Shaw says she has sent me some coral ornaments papa but added Margaret half smiling shes afraid the Milton Dissenters wont appreciate them She has got all her ideas of Dissenters from the Quakers has not she
If ever you hear or notice that your mother wishes for anything be sure you let me know I am so afraid she does not tell me always what she would like Pray see after that girl Mrs Thornton named If we had a good efficient houseservant Dixon could be constantly with her and Id answer for it wed soon set her up amongst us if care will do it Shes been very much tired of late with the hot weather and the difficulty of getting a servant A little rest will put her quite to rights—eh Margaret
I hope so said Margaret—but so sadly that her father took notice of it He pinched her cheek
Come if you look so pale as this I must rouge you up a little Take care of yourself child or youll be wanting the doctor next
But he could not settle to anything that evening He was continually going backwards and forwards on laborious tiptoe to see if his wife was still asleep Margarets heart ached at his restlessness—his trying to stifle and strangle the hideous fear that was looming out of the dark places of his heart He came back at last somewhat comforted
Shes awake now Margaret She quite smiled as she saw me standing by her Just her old smile And she says she feels refreshed and ready for tea Wheres the note for her She wants to see it Ill read it to her while you make tea
The note proved to be a formal invitation from Mrs Thornton to Mr Mrs and Miss Hale to dinner on the twentyfirst instant Margaret was surprised to find an acceptance contemplated after all she had learnt of sad probabilities during the day But so it was The idea of her husbands and daughters going to this dinner had quite captivated Mrs Hales fancy even before Margaret had heard the contents of the note It was an event to diversify the monotony of the invalids life and she clung to the idea of their going with even fretful pertinacity when Margaret objected
Nay Margaret if she wishes it Im sure well both go willingly She never would wish it unless she felt herself really stronger—really better than we thought she was eh Margaret said Mr Hale anxiously as she prepared to write the note of acceptance the next day
Eh Margaret questioned he with a nervous motion of his hands It seemed cruel to refuse him the comfort he craved for And besides his passionate refusal to admit the existence of fear almost inspired Margaret herself with hope
I do think she is better since last night said she Her eyes look brighter and her complexion clearer
God bless you said her father earnestly But is it true Yesterday was so sultry every one felt ill It was a most unlucky day for Mr Donaldson to see her on
So he went away to his days duties now increased by the preparation of some lectures he had promised to deliver to the working people at a neighbouring Lyceum He had chosen Ecclesiastical Architecture as his subject rather more in accordance with his own taste and knowledge than as falling in with the character of the place or the desire for particular kinds of information among those to whom he was to lecture And the institution itself being in debt was only too glad to get a gratis course from an educated and accomplished man like Mr Hale let the subject be what it might
Well mother asked Mr Thornton that night who have accepted your invitations for the twentyfirst
Fanny where are the notes The Slicksons accept Collingbrooks accept Stephenses accept Browns decline Hales—father and daughter come—mother too great an invalid—Macphersons come and Mr Horsfall and Mr Young I was thinking of asking the Porters as the Browns cant come
Very good Do you know Im really afraid Mrs Hale is very far from well from what Dr Donaldson says
Its strange of them to accept a dinnerinvitation if shes very ill said Fanny
I didnt say very ill said her brother rather sharply I only said very far from well They may not know it either And then he suddenly remembered that from what Dr Donaldson had told him Margaret at any rate must be aware of the exact state of the case
Very probably they are quite aware of what you said yesterday John—of the great advantage it would be to them—to Mr Hale I mean to be introduced to such people as the Stephenses and the Collingbrooks
Im sure that motive would not influence them No I think I understand how it is
John said Fanny laughing in her little weak nervous way How you profess to understand these Hales and how you never will allow that we can know anything about them Are they really so very different to most people one meets with
She did not mean to vex him but if she had intended it she could not have done it more thoroughly He chafed in silence however not deigning to reply to her question
They do not seem to me out of the common way said Mrs Thornton He appears a worthy kind of man enough rather too simple for trade—so its perhaps as well he should have been a clergyman first and now a teacher Shes a bit of a fine lady with her invalidism and as for the girl—shes the only one who puzzles me when I think about her—which I dont often do She seems to have a great notion of giving herself airs and I cant make out why I could almost fancy she thinks herself too good for her company at times And yet theyre not rich from all I can hear they never have been
And shes not accomplished mamma She cant play
Go on Fanny What else does she want to bring her up to your standard
Nay John said his mother that speech of Fannys did no harm I myself heard Miss Hale say she could not play If you would let us alone we could perhaps like her and see her merits
Im sure I never could murmured Fanny protected by her mother Mr Thornton heard but did not care to reply He was walking up and down the diningroom wishing that his mother would order candles and allow him to set to work at either reading or writing and so put a stop to the conversation But he never thought of interfering in any of the small domestic regulations that Mrs Thornton observed in habitual remembrance of her old economies
Mother said he stopping and bravely speaking out the truth I wish you would like Miss Hale
Why asked she startled by his earnest yet tender manner Youre never thinking of marrying her—a girl without a penny
She would never have me said he with a short laugh
No I dont think she would answered his mother She laughed in my face when I praised her for speaking out something Mr Bell had said in your favour I liked the girl for doing it so frankly for it made me sure she had no thought of you and the next minute she vexed me so by seeming to think—— Well never mind Only youre right in saying shes too good an opinion of herself to think of you The saucy jade I should like to know where shed find a better If these words hurt her son the dusky light prevented him from betraying any emotion In a minute he came up quite cheerfully to his mother and putting one hand lightly on her shoulder said
Well as Im just as much convinced of the truth of what you have been saying as you can be and as I have no thought or expectation of ever asking her to be my wife youll believe me for the future that Im quite disinterested in speaking about her I foresee trouble for that girl—perhaps want of motherly care—and I only wish you to be ready to be a friend to her in case she needs one Now Fanny said he I trust you have delicacy enough to understand that it is as great an injury to Miss Hale as to me—in fact she would think it a greater—to suppose that I have any reason more than I now give for begging you and my mother to show her every kindly attention
I cannot forgive her her pride said his mother I will befriend her if there is need for your asking John I would befriend Jezebel herself if you asked me But this girl who turns up her nose at us all—who turns up her nose at you——
Nay mother I have never yet put myself and I mean never to put myself within reach of her contempt
Contempt indeed—One of Mrs Thorntons expressive snorts—Dont go on speaking of Miss Hale John if Ive to be kind to her When Im with her I dont know if I like or dislike her most but when I think of her and hear you talk of her I hate her I can see shes given herself airs to you as well as if youd told me out
And if she has said he—and then he paused for a moment—then went on Im not a lad to be cowed by a proud look from a woman or to care for her misunderstanding me and my position I can laugh at it
To be sure and at her too with her fine notions and haughty tosses
I only wonder why you talk so much about her then said Fanny Im sure Im tired enough of the subject
Well said her brother with a shade of bitterness Suppose we find some more agreeable subject What do you say to a strike by way of something pleasant to talk about
Have the hands actually turned out asked Mrs Thornton with vivid interest
Hampers men are actually out Mine are working out their week through fear of being prosecuted for breach of contract Id have had every one of them up and punished for it that left his work before his time was out
The law expenses would have been more than the hands themselves were worth—a set of ungrateful naughts said his mother
To be sure But Id have shown them how I keep my word and how I mean them to keep theirs They know me by this time Slicksons men are off—pretty certain he wont spend money in getting them punished Were in for a turnout mother
I hope there are not many orders in hand
Of course there are They know that well enough But they dont quite understand all though they think they do
What do you mean John
Candles had been brought and Fanny had taken up her interminable piece of worstedwork over which she was yawning throwing herself back in her chair from time to time to gaze at vacancy and think of nothing at her ease
Why said he the Americans are getting their yarns so into the general market that our only chance is producing them at a lower rate If we cant we may shut up shop at once and hands and masters go alike on tramp Yet these fools go back to the prices paid three years ago—nay some of their leaders quote Dickinsons prices now—though they know as well as we do that what with fines pressed out of their wages as no honourable man would extort them and other ways which I for one would scorn to use the real rate of wage paid at Dickinsons is less than at ours Upon my word mother I wish the old combinationlaws were in force It is too bad to find out that fools—ignorant wayward men like these—just by uniting their weak silly heads are to rule over the fortunes of those who bring all the wisdom that knowledge and experience and often painful thought and anxiety can give The next thing will be—indeed were all but come to it now—that we shall have to go and ask—stand hat in hand—and humbly ask the secretary of the Spinner Union to be so kind as to furnish us with labour at their own price Thats what they want—they who havent the sense to see that if we dont get a fair share of the profits to compensate us for our wear and tear here in England we can move off to some other country and that what with home and foreign competition we are none of us likely to make above a fair share and may be thankful enough if we can get that in an average number of years
Cant you get hands from Ireland I wouldnt keep these fellows a day Id teach them that I was master and could employ what servants I liked
Yes to be sure I can and I will too if they go on long It will be trouble and expense and I fear there will be some danger but I will do it rather than give in
If there is to be all this extra expense Im sorry were giving a dinner just now
So am I—not because of the expense but because I shall have much to think about and many unexpected calls on my time But we must have had Mr Horsfall and he does not stay in Milton long And as for the others we owe them dinners and its all one trouble
He kept on with his restless walk—not speaking any more but drawing a deep breath from time to time as if endeavouring to throw off some annoying thought Fanny asked her mother numerous small questions all having nothing to do with the subject which a wiser person would have perceived was occupying her attention Consequently she received many short answers She was not sorry when at ten oclock the servants filed in to prayers These her mother always read—first reading a chapter They were now working steadily through the Old Testament When prayers were ended and his mother had wished him goodnight with that long steady look of hers which conveyed no expression of the tenderness that was in her heart but yet had the intensity of a blessing Mr Thornton continued his walk All his business plans had received a check a sudden pullup from this approaching turnout The forethought of many anxious hours was thrown away utterly wasted by their insane folly which would injure themselves even more than him though no one could set any limit to the mischief they were doing And these were the men who thought themselves fitted to direct the masters in the disposal of their capital Hamper had said only this very day that if he were ruined by the strike he would start life again comforted by the conviction that those who brought it on were in a worse predicament than he himself—for he had head as well as hands while they had only hands and if they drove away their market they could not follow it nor turn to anything else But this thought was no consolation to Mr Thornton It might be that revenge gave him no pleasure it might be that he valued the position he had earned with the sweat of his brow so much that he keenly felt its being endangered by the ignorance or folly of others—so keenly that he had no thoughts to spare for what would be the consequences of their conduct to themselves He paced up and down setting his teeth a little now and then At last it struck two The candles were flickering in their sockets He lighted his own muttering to himself
Once for all they shall know whom they have got to deal with I can give them a fortnight—no more If they dont see their madness before the end of that time I must have hands from Ireland I believe its Slicksons doing—confound him and his dodges He thought he was overstocked so he seemed to yield at first when the deputation came to him—and of course he only confirmed them in their folly as he meant to do Thats where it spread from
CHAPTER XIX—ANGEL VISITS
As angels in some brighter dreams
Call to the soul when man doth sleep
So some strange thoughts transcend our wonted themes
And into glory peep
HENRY VAUGHAN
Mrs Hale was curiously amused and interested by the idea of the Thornton dinner party She kept wondering about the details with something of the simplicity of a little child who wants to have all its anticipated pleasures described beforehand But the monotonous life led by invalids often makes them like children inasmuch as they have neither of them any sense of proportion in events and seem each to believe that the walls and curtains which shut in their world and shut out everything else must of necessity be larger than anything hidden beyond Besides Mrs Hale had had her vanities as a girl had perhaps unduly felt their mortification when she became a poor clergymans wife—they had been smothered and kept down but they were not extinct and she liked to think of seeing Margaret dressed for a party and discussed what she should wear with an unsettled anxiety that amused Margaret who had been more accustomed to society in her one in Harley Street than her mother in five and twenty years of Helstone
Then you think you shall wear your white silk Are you sure it will fit Its nearly a year since Edith was married
Oh yes mamma Mrs Murray made it and its sure to be right it may be a straws breadth shorter or longerwaisted according to my having grown fat or thin But I dont think Ive altered in the least
Hadnt you better let Dixon see it It may have gone yellow with lying by
If you like mamma But if the worst comes to the worst Ive a very nice pink gauze which aunt Shaw gave me only two or three months before Edith was married That cant have gone yellow
No but it may have faded
Well then Ive a green silk I feel more as if it was the embarrassment of riches
I wish I knew what you ought to wear said Mrs Hale nervously Margarets manner changed instantly Shall I go and put them on one after another mamma and then you could see which you liked best
But—yes perhaps that will be best
So off Margaret went She was very much inclined to play some pranks when she was dressed up at such an unusual hour to make her rich white silk balloon out into a cheese to retreat backwards from her mother as if she were the queen but when she found that these freaks of hers were regarded as interruptions to the serious business and as such annoyed her mother she became grave and sedate What had possessed the world her world to fidget so about her dress she could not understand but that very after noon on naming her engagement to Bessy Higgins apropos of the servant that Mrs Thornton had promised to inquire about Bessy quite roused up at the intelligence
Dear and are you going to dine at Thorntons at Marlborough Mills
Yes Bessy Why are you so surprised
Oh I dunno But they visit wi a th first folk in Milton
And you dont think were quite the first folk in Milton eh Bessy Bessys cheeks flushed a little at her thought being thus easily read
Well said she yo see they thinken a deal o money here and I reckon yove not getten much
No said Margaret thats very true But we are educated people and have lived amongst educated people Is there anything so wonderful in our being asked out to dinner by a man who owns himself inferior to my father by coming to him to be instructed I dont mean to blame Mr Thornton Few drapers assistants as he was once could have made themselves what he is
But can yo give dinners back in yor small house Thorntons house is three times as big
Well I think we could manage to give Mr Thornton a dinner back as you call it Perhaps not in such a large room nor with so many people But I dont think weve thought about it at all in that way
I never thought yod be dining with Thorntons repeated Bessy Why the mayor hissel dines there and the members of Parliament and all
I think I could support the honour of meeting the mayor of Milton
But them ladies dress so grand said Bessy with an anxious look at Margarets print gown which her Milton eyes appraised at sevenpence a yard Margarets face dimpled up into a merry laugh Thank You Bessy for thinking so kindly about my looking nice among all the smart people But Ive plenty of grand gowns—a week ago I should have said they were far too grand for anything I should ever want again But as Im to dine at Mr Thorntons and perhaps to meet the mayor I shall put on my very best gown you may be sure
What win yo wear asked Bessy somewhat relieved
White silk said Margaret A gown I had for a cousins wedding a year ago
Thatll do said Bessy falling back in her chair I should be loth to have yo looked down upon
Oh Ill be fine enough if that will save me from being looked down upon in Milton
I wish I could see you dressed up said Bessy I reckon yore not what folk would ca pretty yove not red and white enough for that But dun yo know I ha dreamt of yo long afore ever I seed yo
Nonsense Bessy
Ay but I did Yor very face—looking wi yor clear steadfast eyes out o th darkness wi yor hair blown off from yor brow and going out like rays round yor forehead which was just as smooth and as straight as it is now—and yo always came to give me strength which I seemed to gather out o yor deep comforting eyes—and yo were drest in shining raiment—just as yor going to be drest So yo see it was yo
Nay Bessy said Margaret gently it was but a dream
And why might na I dream a dream in my affliction as well as others Did not many a one i the Bible Ay and see visions too Why even my father thinks a deal o dreams I tell yo again I saw yo as plainly coming swiftly towards me wi yor hair blown back wi the very swiftness o the motion just like the way it grows a little standing off like and the white shining dress on yove getten to wear Let me come and see yo in it I want to see yo and touch yo as in very deed yo were in my dream
My dear Bessy it is quite a fancy of yours
Fancy or no fancy—yove come as I knew yo would when I saw yor movement in my dream—and when yore here about me I reckon I feel easier in my mind and comforted just as a fire comforts one on a dree day Yo said it were on th twentyfirst please God Ill come and see yo
Oh Bessy you may come and welcome but dont talk so—it really makes me sorry It does indeed
Then Ill keep it to mysel if I bite my tongue out Not but what its true for all that
Margaret was silent At last she said
Let us talk about it sometimes if you think it true But not now Tell me has your father turned out
Ay said Bessy heavily—in a manner very different from that she had spoken in but a minute or two before He and many another—all Hampers men—and many a one besides Th women are as bad as th men in their savageness this time Food is high—and they mun have food for their childer I reckon Suppose Thorntons sent em their dinner out—th same money spent on potatoes and meal would keep many a crying babby quiet and hush up its mothers heart for a bit
Dont speak so said Margaret Youll make me feel wicked and guilty in going to this dinner
No said Bessy Somes preelected to sumptuous feasts and purple and fine linen—may be yore one on em Others toil and moil all their lives long—and the very dogs are not pitiful in our days as they were in the days of Lazarus But if yo ask me to cool yor tongue wi th tip of my finger Ill come across the great gulf to yo just for th thought o what yove been to me here
Bessy youre very feverish I can tell it in the touch of your hand as well as in what youre saying It wont be division enough in that awful day that some of us have been beggars here and some of us have been rich—we shall not be judged by that poor accident but by our faithful following of Christ Margaret got up and found some water and soaking her pockethandkerchief in it she laid the cool wetness on Bessys forehead and began to chafe the stonecold feet Bessy shut her eyes and allowed herself to be soothed At last she said
Yod ha been deaved out o yor five wits as well as me if yod had one body after another coming in to ask for father and staying to tell me each one their tale Some spoke o deadly hatred and made my blood run cold wi the terrible things they said o th masters—but more being women kept plaining plaining wi the tears running down their cheeks and never wiped away nor heeded of the price o meat and how their childer could na sleep at nights for th hunger
And do they think the strike will mend this asked Margaret
They say so replied Bessy They do say trade has been good for long and the masters has made no end o money how much father doesnt know but in course th Union does and as is natural they wanten their share o th profits now that food is getting dear and th Union says theyll not be doing their duty if they dont make the masters give em their share But masters has getten th upper hand somehow and Im feared theyll keep it now and evermore Its like th great battle o Armageddon the way they keep on grinning and fighting at each other till even while they fight they are picked off into the pit Just then Nicholas Higgins came in He caught his daughters last words
Ay and Ill fight on too and Ill get it this time Itll not take long for to make em give in for theyve getten a pretty lot of orders all under contract and theyll soon find out theyd better give us our five per cent than lose the profit theyll gain let alone the fine for not fulfilling the contract Aha my masters I know wholl win
Margaret fancied from his manner that he must have been drinking not so much from what he said as from the excited way in which he spoke and she was rather confirmed in this idea by the evident anxiety Bessy showed to hasten her departure Bessy said to her—
The twentyfirst—thats Thursday week I may come and see yo dressed for Thorntons I reckon What time is yor dinner
Before Margaret could answer Higgins broke out
Thorntons Ar t going to dine at Thorntons Ask him to give yo a bumper to the success of his orders By th twentyfirst I reckon hell be pottered in his brains how to get em done in time Tell him theres seven hundredll come marching into Marlborough Mills the morning after he gives the five per cent and will help him through his contract in no time Youll have em all there My master Hamper Hes one o th oudfashioned sort Neer meets a man bout an oath or a curse I should think he were going to die if he spoke me civil but arter all his barks waur than his bite and yo may tell him one o his turnouts said so if yo like Eh but yoll have a lot of prize millowners at Thorntons I should like to get speech o them when theyre a bit inclined to sit still after dinner and could na run for the life on em Id tell em my mind Id speak up again th hard way theyre driving on us
Goodbye said Margaret hastily Goodbye Bessy I shall look to see you on the twentyfirst if youre well enough
The medicines and treatment which Dr Donaldson had ordered for Mrs Hale did her so much good at first that not only she herself but Margaret began to hope that he might have been mistaken and that she could recover permanently As for Mr Hale although he had never had an idea of the serious nature of their apprehensions he triumphed over their fears with an evident relief which proved how much his glimpse into the nature of them had affected him Only Dixon croaked for ever into Margarets ear However Margaret defied the raven and would hope
They needed this gleam of brightness indoors for outofdoors even to their uninstructed eyes there was a gloomy brooding appearance of discontent Mr Hale had his own acquaintances among the working men and was depressed with their earnestly told tales of suffering and longendurance They would have scorned to speak of what they had to bear to any one who might from his position have understood it without their words But here was this man from a distant county who was perplexed by the workings of the system into the midst of which he was thrown and each was eager to make him a judge and to bring witness of his own causes for irritation Then Mr Hale brought all his budget of grievances and laid it before Mr Thornton for him with his experience as a master to arrange them and explain their origin which he always did on sound economical principles showing that as trade was conducted there must always be a waxing and waning of commercial prosperity and that in the waning a certain number of masters as well as of men must go down into ruin and be no more seen among the ranks of the happy and prosperous He spoke as if this consequence were so entirely logical that neither employers nor employed had any right to complain if it became their fate the employer to turn aside from the race he could no longer run with a bitter sense of incompetency and failure—wounded in the struggle—trampled down by his fellows in their haste to get rich—slighted where he once was honoured—humbly asking for instead of bestowing employment with a lordly hand Of course speaking so of the fate that as a master might be his own in the fluctuations of commerce he was not likely to have more sympathy with that of the workmen who were passed by in the swift merciless improvement or alteration who would fain lie down and quietly die out of the world that needed them not but felt as if they could never rest in their graves for the clinging cries of the beloved and helpless they would leave behind who envied the power of the wild bird that can feed her young with her very hearts blood Margarets whole soul rose up against him while he reasoned in this way—as if commerce were everything and humanity nothing She could hardly thank him for the individual kindness which brought him that very evening to offer her—for the delicacy which made him understand that he must offer her privately—every convenience for illness that his own wealth or his mothers foresight had caused them to accumulate in their household and which as he learnt from Dr Donaldson Mrs Hale might possibly require His presence after the way he had spoken—his bringing before her the doom which she was vainly trying to persuade herself might yet be averted from her mother—all conspired to set Margarets teeth on edge as she looked at him and listened to him What business had he to be the only person except Dr Donaldson and Dixon admitted to the awful secret which she held shut up in the most dark and sacred recess of her heart—not daring to look at it unless she invoked heavenly strength to bear the sight—that some day soon she should cry aloud for her mother and no answer would come out of the blank dumb darkness Yet he knew all She saw it in his pitying eyes She heard it in his grave and tremulous voice How reconcile those eyes that voice with the hardreasoning dry merciless way in which he laid down axioms of trade and serenely followed them out to their full consequences The discord jarred upon her inexpressibly The more because of the gathering woe of which she heard from Bessy To be sure Nicholas Higgins the father spoke differently He had been appointed a committeeman and said that he knew secrets of which the exoteric knew nothing He said this more expressly and particularly on the very day before Mrs Thorntons dinnerparty when Margaret going in to speak to Bessy found him arguing the point with Boucher the neighbour of whom she had frequently heard mention as by turns exciting Higginss compassion as an unskilful workman with a large family depending upon him for support and at other times enraging his more energetic and sanguine neighbour by his want of what the latter called spirit It was very evident that Higgins was in a passion when Margaret entered Boucher stood with both hands on the rather high mantelpiece swaying himself a little on the support which his arms thus placed gave him and looking wildly into the fire with a kind of despair that irritated Higgins even while it went to his heart Bessy was rocking herself violently backwards and forwards as was her wont Margaret knew by this time when she was agitated Her sister Mary was tying on her bonnet in great clumsy bows as suited her great clumsy fingers to go to her fustiancutting blubbering out loud the while and evidently longing to be away from a scene that distressed her Margaret came in upon this scene She stood for a moment at the door—then her finger on her lips she stole to a seat on the squab near Bessy Nicholas saw her come in and greeted her with a gruff but not unfriendly nod Mary hurried out of the house catching gladly at the open door and crying aloud when she got away from her fathers presence It was only John Boucher that took no notice whatever who came in and who went out
Its no use Higgins Hoo cannot live long a thisn Hoos just sinking away—not for want o meat hersel—but because hoo cannot stand th sight o the little ones clemming Ay clemming Five shilling a week may do well enough for thee wi but two mouths to fill and one on em a wench who can welly earn her own meat But its clemming to us An I tell thee plain—if hoo dies as Im feard hoo will afore weve getten th five per cent Ill fling th money back i th masters face and say Be domned to yo be domned to th whole cruel world o yo that could na leave me th best wife that ever bore childer to a man An look thee lad Ill hate thee and th whole pack o th Union Ay an chase yo through heaven wi my hatred—I will lad I will—if yore leading me astray i this matter Thou saidst Nicholas on Wednesday sennight—and its now Tuesday i th second week—that afore a fortnight wed ha the masters coming abegging to us to take back our work at our own wage—and times nearly up—and theres our lile Jack lying abed too weak to cry but just every now and then sobbing up his heart for want o food—our lile Jack I tell thee lad Hoos never looked up sin he were born and hoo loves him as if he were her very life—as he is—for I reckon hell ha cost me that precious price—our lile Jack who wakened me each morn wi putting his sweet little lips to my great rough fou face aseeking a smooth place to kiss—an he lies clemming Here the deep sobs choked the poor man and Nicholas looked up with eyes brimful of tears to Margaret before he could gain courage to speak
Houd up man Thy lile Jack shall na clem I ha getten brass and well go buy the chap a sup o milk an a good fourpounder this very minute Whats mines thine sure enough i thoust i want Only dunnot lose heart man continued he as he fumbled in a teapot for what money he had I lay yo my heart and soul well win for a this its but bearing on one more week and yo just see th way th masters ll come round praying on us to come back to our mills An th Union—thats to say I—will take care yove enough for th childer and th missus So dunnot turn faintheart and go to th tyrants aseeking work
The man turned round at these words—turned round a face so white and gaunt and tearfurrowed and hopeless that its very calm forced Margaret to weep Yo know well that a worser tyrant than eer th masters were says Clem to death and see em a clem to death ere yo dare go again th Union Yo know it well Nicholas for a yore one on em Yo may be kind hearts each separate but once banded together yove no more pity for a man than a wild hungermaddened wolf
Nicholas had his hand on the lock of the door—he stopped and turned round on Boucher close following
So help me God man alive—if I think not Im doing best for thee and for all on us If Im going wrong when I think Im going right its their sin who ha left me where I am in my ignorance I ha thought till my brains ached—Beli me John I have An I say again theres no help for us but having faith i th Union Theyll win the day see if they dunnot
Not one word had Margaret or Bessy spoken They had hardly uttered the sighing that the eyes of each called to the other to bring up from the depths of her heart At last Bessy said
I never thought to hear father call on God again But yo heard him say So help me God
Yes said Margaret Let me bring you what money I can spare—let me bring you a little food for that poor mans children Dont let them know it comes from any one but your father It will be but little
Bessy lay back without taking any notice of what Margaret said She did not cry—she only quivered up her breath
My hearts drained dry o tears she said Bouchers been in these days past a telling me of his fears and his troubles Hes but a weak kind o chap I know but hes a man for a that and tho Ive been angry many a time afore now wi him an his wife as knew no more nor him how to manage yet yo see all folks isnt wise yet God lets em live—ay an gives em some one to love and be loved by just as good as Solomon An if sorrow comes to them they love it hurts em as sore as eer it did Solomon I cant make it out Perhaps its as well such a one as Boucher has th Union to see after him But Id just like for to see th mean as make th Union and put em one by one face to face wi Boucher I reckon if they heard him theyd tell him if I cotched em one by one he might go back and get what he could for his work even if it werent so much as they ordered
Margaret sat utterly silent How was she ever to go away into comfort and forget that mans voice with the tone of unutterable agony telling more by far than his words of what he had to suffer She took out her purse she had not much in it of what she could call her own but what she had she put into Bessys hand without speaking
Thank yo Theres many on em gets no more and is not so bad off—leastways does not show it as he does But father wont let em want now he knows Yo see Bouchers been pulled down wi his childer—and her being so cranky and a they could pawn has gone this last twelvemonth Yore not to think wed ha letten em clem for all were a bit pressed oursel if neighbours doesnt see after neighbours I dunno who will Bessy seemed almost afraid lest Margaret should think they had not the will and to a certain degree the power of helping one whom she evidently regarded as having a claim upon them Besides she went on father is sure and positive the masters must give in within these next few days—that they canna hould on much longer But I thank yo all the same—I thank yo for mysel as much as for Boucher for it just makes my heart warm to yo more and more
Bessy seemed much quieter today but fearfully languid and exhausted As she finished speaking she looked so faint and weary that Margaret became alarmed
Its nout said Bessy Its not death yet I had a fearfu night wi dreams—or somewhat like dreams for I were wide awake—and Im all in a swounding daze today—only yon poor chap made me alive again No its not death yet but death is not far off Ay Cover me up and Ill may be sleep if th cough will let me Good night—good afternoon mappen I should say—but th light is dim an misty today
CHAPTER XX—MEN AND GENTLEMEN
Old and young boy let em all eat I have it
Let em have ten tire of teeth apiece I care not
ROLLO DUKE OF NORMANDY
Margaret went home so painfully occupied with what she had heard and seen that she hardly knew how to rouse herself up to the duties which awaited her the necessity for keeping up a constant flow of cheerful conversation for her mother who now that she was unable to go out always looked to Margarets return from the shortest walk as bringing in some news
And can your factory friend come on Thursday to see you dressed
She was so ill I never thought of asking her said Margaret dolefully
Dear Everybody is ill now I think said Mrs Hale with a little of the jealousy which one invalid is apt to feel of another But it must be very sad to be ill in one of those little back streets Her kindly nature prevailing and the old Helstone habits of thought returning Its bad enough here What could you do for her Margaret Mr Thornton has sent me some of his old port wine since you went out Would a bottle of that do her good think you
No mamma I dont believe they are very poor—at least they dont speak as if they were and at any rate Bessys illness is consumption—she wont want wine Perhaps I might take her a little preserve made of our dear Helstone fruit No theres another family to whom I should like to give—Oh mamma mamma how am I to dress up in my finery and go off and away to smart parties after the sorrow I have seen today exclaimed Margaret bursting the bounds she had preordained for herself before she came in and telling her mother of what she had seen and heard at Higginss cottage
It distressed Mrs Hale excessively It made her restlessly irritated till she could do something She directed Margaret to pack up a basket in the very drawingroom to be sent there and then to the family and was almost angry with her for saying that it would not signify if it did not go till morning as she knew Higgins had provided for their immediate wants and she herself had left money with Bessy Mrs Hale called her unfeeling for saying this and never gave herself breathingtime till the basket was sent out of the house Then she said
After all we may have been doing wrong It was only the last time Mr Thornton was here that he said those were no true friends who helped to prolong the struggle by assisting the turn outs And this Boucherman was a turnout was he not
The question was referred to Mr Hale by his wife when he came upstairs fresh from giving a lesson to Mr Thornton which had ended in conversation as was their wont Margaret did not care if their gifts had prolonged the strike she did not think far enough for that in her present excited state
Mr Hale listened and tried to be as calm as a judge he recalled all that had seemed so clear not halfanhour before as it came out of Mr Thorntons lips and then he made an unsatisfactory compromise His wife and daughter had not only done quite right in this instance but he did not see for a moment how they could have done otherwise Nevertheless as a general rule it was very true what Mr Thornton said that as the strike if prolonged must end in the masters bringing hands from a distance if indeed the final result were not as it had often been before the invention of some machine which would diminish the need of hands at all why it was clear enough that the kindest thing was to refuse all help which might bolster them up in their folly But as to this Boucher he would go and see him the first thing in the morning and try and find out what could be done for him
Mr Hale went the next morning as he proposed He did not find Boucher at home but he had a long talk with his wife promised to ask for an Infirmary order for her and seeing the plenty provided by Mrs Hale and somewhat lavishly used by the children who were masters downstairs in their fathers absence he came back with a more consoling and cheerful account than Margaret had dared to hope for indeed what she had said the night before had prepared her father for so much worse a state of things that by a reaction of his imagination he described all as better than it really was
But I will go again and see the man himself said Mr Hale I hardly know as yet how to compare one of these houses with our Helstone cottages I see furniture here which our labourers would never have thought of buying and food commonly used which they would consider luxuries yet for these very families there seems no other resource now that their weekly wages are stopped but the pawnshop One had need to learn a different language and measure by a different standard up here in Milton
Bessy too was rather better this day Still she was so weak that she seemed to have entirely forgotten her wish to see Margaret dressed—if indeed that had not been the feverish desire of a halfdelirious state
Margaret could not help comparing this strange dressing of hers to go where she did not care to be—her heart heavy with various anxieties—with the old merry girlish toilettes that she and Edith had performed scarcely more than a year ago Her only pleasure now in decking herself out was in thinking that her mother would take delight in seeing her dressed She blushed when Dixon throwing the drawingroom door open made an appeal for admiration
Miss Hale looks well maam—doesnt she Mrs Shaws coral couldnt have come in better It just gives the right touch of colour maam Otherwise Miss Margaret you would have been too pale
Margarets black hair was too thick to be plaited it needed rather to be twisted round and round and have its fine silkiness compressed into massive coils that encircled her head like a crown and then were gathered into a large spiral knot behind She kept its weight together by two large coral pins like small arrows for length Her white silk sleeves were looped up with strings of the same material and on her neck just below the base of her curved and milkwhite throat there lay heavy coral beads
Oh Margaret how I should like to be going with you to one of the old Barrington assemblies—taking you as Lady Beresford used to take me Margaret kissed her mother for this little burst of maternal vanity but she could hardly smile at it she felt so much out of spirits
I would rather stay at home with you—much rather mamma
Nonsense darling Be sure you notice the dinner well I shall like to hear how they manage these things in Milton Particularly the second course dear Look what they have instead of game
Mrs Hale would have been more than interested—she would have been astonished if she had seen the sumptuousness of the dinnertable and its appointments Margaret with her London cultivated taste felt the number of delicacies to be oppressive one half of the quantity would have been enough and the effect lighter and more elegant But it was one of Mrs Thorntons rigorous laws of hospitality that of each separate dainty enough should be provided for all the guests to partake if they felt inclined Careless to abstemiousness in her daily habits it was part of her pride to set a feast before such of her guests as cared for it Her son shared this feeling He had never known—though he might have imagined and had the capability to relish—any kind of society but that which depended on an exchange of superb meals and even now though he was denying himself the personal expenditure of an unnecessary sixpence and had more than once regretted that the invitations for this dinner had been sent out still as it was to be he was glad to see the old magnificence of preparation Margaret and her father were the first to arrive Mr Hale was anxiously punctual to the time specified There was no one upstairs in the drawingroom but Mrs Thornton and Fanny Every cover was taken off and the apartment blazed forth in yellow silk damask and a brilliantlyflowered carpet Every corner seemed filled up with ornament until it became a weariness to the eye and presented a strange contrast to the bald ugliness of the lookout into the great millyard where wide folding gates were thrown open for the admission of carriages The mill loomed high on the lefthand side of the windows casting a shadow down from its many stories which darkened the summer evening before its time
My son was engaged up to the last moment on business He will be here directly Mr Hale May I beg you to take a seat
Mr Hale was standing at one of the windows as Mrs Thornton spoke He turned away saying
Dont you find such close neighbourhood to the mill rather unpleasant at times
She drew herself up
Never I am not become so fine as to desire to forget the source of my sons wealth and power Besides there is not such another factory in Milton One room alone is two hundred and twenty square yards
I meant that the smoke and the noise—the constant going out and coming in of the workpeople might be annoying
I agree with you Mr Hale said Fanny There is a continual smell of steam and oily machinery—and the noise is perfectly deafening
I have heard noise that was called music far more deafening The engineroom is at the streetend of the factory we hardly hear it except in summer weather when all the windows are open and as for the continual murmur of the workpeople it disturbs me no more than the humming of a hive of bees If I think of it at all I connect it with my son and feel how all belongs to him and that his is the head that directs it Just now there are no sounds to come from the mill the hands have been ungrateful enough to turn out as perhaps you have heard But the very business of which I spoke when you entered had reference to the steps he is going to take to make them learn their place The expression on her face always stern deepened into dark anger as she said this Nor did it clear away when Mr Thornton entered the room for she saw in an instant the weight of care and anxiety which he could not shake off although his guests received from him a greeting that appeared both cheerful and cordial He shook hands with Margaret He knew it was the first time their hands had met though she was perfectly unconscious of the fact He inquired after Mrs Hale and heard Mr Hales sanguine hopeful account and glancing at Margaret to understand how far she agreed with her father he saw that no dissenting shadow crossed her face And as he looked with this intention he was struck anew with her great beauty He had never seen her in such dress before and yet now it appeared as if such elegance of attire was so befitting her noble figure and lofty serenity of countenance that she ought to go always thus apparelled She was talking to Fanny about what he could not hear but he saw his sisters restless way of continually arranging some part of her gown her wandering eyes now glancing here now there but without any purpose in her observation and he contrasted them uneasily with the large soft eyes that looked forth steadily at one object as if from out their light beamed some gentle influence of repose the curving lines of the red lips just parted in the interest of listening to what her companion said—the head a little bent forwards so as to make a long sweeping line from the summit where the light caught on the glossy raven hair to the smooth ivory tip of the shoulder the round white arms and taper hands laid lightly across each other but perfectly motionless in their pretty attitude Mr Thornton sighed as he took in all this with one of his sudden comprehensive glances And then he turned his back to the young ladies and threw himself with an effort but with all his heart and soul into a conversation with Mr Hale
More people came—more and more Fanny left Margarets side and helped her mother to receive her guests Mr Thornton felt that in this influx no one was speaking to Margaret and was restless under this apparent neglect But he never went near her himself he did not look at her Only he knew what she was doing—or not doing—better than he knew the movements of any one else in the room Margaret was so unconscious of herself and so much amused by watching other people that she never thought whether she was left unnoticed or not Somebody took her down to dinner she did not catch the name nor did he seem much inclined to talk to her There was a very animated conversation going on among the gentlemen the ladies for the most part were silent employing themselves in taking notes of the dinner and criticising each others dresses Margaret caught the clue to the general conversation grew interested and listened attentively Mr Horsfall the stranger whose visit to the town was the original germ of the party was asking questions relative to the trade and manufactures of the place and the rest of the gentlemen—all Milton men—were giving him answers and explanations Some dispute arose which was warmly contested it was referred to Mr Thornton who had hardly spoken before but who now gave an opinion the grounds of which were so clearly stated that even the opponents yielded Margarets attention was thus called to her host his whole manner as master of the house and entertainer of his friends was so straightforward yet simple and modest as to be thoroughly dignified Margaret thought she had never seen him to so much advantage When he had come to their house there had been always something either of overeagerness or of that kind of vexed annoyance which seemed ready to presuppose that he was unjustly judged and yet felt too proud to try and make himself better understood But now among his fellows there was no uncertainty as to his position He was regarded by them as a man of great force of character of power in many ways There was no need to struggle for their respect He had it and he knew it and the security of this gave a fine grand quietness to his voice and ways which Margaret had missed before
He was not in the habit of talking to ladies and what he did say was a little formal To Margaret herself he hardly spoke at all She was surprised to think how much she enjoyed this dinner She knew enough now to understand many local interests—nay even some of the technical words employed by the eager millowners She silently took a very decided part in the question they were discussing At any rate they talked in desperate earnest—not in the usedup style that wearied her so in the old London parties She wondered that with all this dwelling on the manufactures and trade of the place no allusion was made to the strike then pending She did not yet know how coolly such things were taken by the masters as having only one possible end To be sure the men were cutting their own throats as they had done many a time before but if they would be fools and put themselves into the hands of a rascally set of paid delegates they must take the consequence One or two thought Thornton looked out of spirits and of course he must lose by this turnout But it was an accident that might happen to themselves any day and Thornton was as good to manage a strike as any one for he was as iron a chap as any in Milton The hands had mistaken their man in trying that dodge on him And they chuckled inwardly at the idea of the workmens discomfiture and defeat in their attempt to alter one iota of what Thornton had decreed It was rather dull for Margaret after dinner She was glad when the gentlemen came not merely because she caught her fathers eye to brighten her sleepiness up but because she could listen to something larger and grander than the petty interests which the ladies had been talking about She liked the exultation in the sense of power which these Milton men had It might be rather rampant in its display and savour of boasting but still they seemed to defy the old limits of possibility in a kind of fine intoxication caused by the recollection of what had been achieved and what yet should be If in her cooler moments she might not approve of their spirit in all things still there was much to admire in their forgetfulness of themselves and the present in their anticipated triumphs over all inanimate matter at some future time which none of them should live to see She was rather startled when Mr Thornton spoke to her close at her elbow
I could see you were on our side in our discussion at dinner—were you not Miss Hale
Certainly But then I know so little about it I was surprised however to find from what Mr Horsfall said that there were others who thought in so diametrically opposite a manner as the Mr Morison he spoke about He cannot be a gentleman—is he
I am not quite the person to decide on anothers gentlemanliness Miss Hale I mean I dont quite understand your application of the word But I should say that this Morison is no true man I dont know who he is I merely judge him from Mr Horsfalls account
I suspect my gentleman includes your true man
And a great deal more you would imply I differ from you A man is to me a higher and a completer being than a gentleman
What do you mean asked Margaret We must understand the words differently
I take it that gentleman is a term that only describes a person in his relation to others but when we speak of him as a man we consider him not merely with regard to his fellowmen but in relation to himself—to life—to time—to eternity A castaway lonely as Robinson Crusoe—a prisoner immured in a dungeon for life—nay even a saint in Patmos has his endurance his strength his faith best described by being spoken of as a man I am rather weary of this word gentlemanly which seems to me to be often inappropriately used and often too with such exaggerated distortion of meaning while the full simplicity of the noun man and the adjective manly are unacknowledged—that I am induced to class it with the cant of the day
Margaret thought a moment—but before she could speak her slow conviction he was called away by some of the eager manufacturers whose speeches she could not hear though she could guess at their import by the short clear answers Mr Thornton gave which came steady and firm as the boom of a distant minute gun They were evidently talking of the turnout and suggesting what course had best be pursued She heard Mr Thornton say
That has been done Then came a hurried murmur in which two or three joined
All those arrangements have been made
Some doubts were implied some difficulties named by Mr Slickson who took hold of Mr Thorntons arm the better to impress his words Mr Thornton moved slightly away lifted his eyebrows a very little and then replied
I take the risk You need not join in it unless you choose Still some more fears were urged
Im not afraid of anything so dastardly as incendiarism We are open enemies and I can protect myself from any violence that I apprehend And I will assuredly protect all others who come to me for work They know my determination by this time as well and as fully as you do
Mr Horsfall took him a little on one side as Margaret conjectured to ask him some other question about the strike but in truth it was to inquire who she herself was—so quiet so stately and so beautiful
A Milton lady asked he as the name was given
No from the south of England—Hampshire I believe was the cold indifferent answer
Mrs Slickson was catechising Fanny on the same subject
Who is that fine distinguishedlooking girl a sister of Mr Horsfalls
Oh dear no That is Mr Hale her father talking now to Mr Stephens He gives lessons that is to say he reads with young men My brother John goes to him twice a week and so he begged mamma to ask them here in hopes of getting him known I believe we have some of their prospectuses if you would like to have one
Mr Thornton Does he really find time to read with a tutor in the midst of all his business—and this abominable strike in hand as well
Fanny was not sure from Mrs Slicksons manner whether she ought to be proud or ashamed of her brothers conduct and like all people who try and take other peoples ought for the rule of their feelings she was inclined to blush for any singularity of action Her shame was interrupted by the dispersion of the guests
CHAPTER XXI—THE DARK NIGHT
On earth is known to none
The smile that is not sister to a tear
ELLIOTT
Margaret and her father walked home The night was fine the streets clean and with her pretty white silk like Leezie Lindsays gown o green satin in the ballad kilted up to her knee she was off with her father—ready to dance along with the excitement of the cool fresh night air
I rather think Thornton is not quite easy in his mind about this strike He seemed very anxious tonight
I should wonder if he were not But he spoke with his usual coolness to the others when they suggested different things just before we came away
So he did after dinner as well It would take a good deal to stir him from his cool manner of speaking but his face strikes me as anxious
I should be if I were he He must know of the growing anger and hardly smothered hatred of his workpeople who all look upon him as what the Bible calls a hard man—not so much unjust as unfeeling clear in judgment standing upon his rights as no human being ought to stand considering what we and all our petty rights are in the sight of the Almighty I am glad you think he looks anxious When I remember Bouchers half mad words and ways I cannot bear to think how coolly Mr Thornton spoke
In the first place I am not so convinced as you are about that man Bouchers utter distress for the moment he was badly off I dont doubt But there is always a mysterious supply of money from these Unions and from what you said it was evident the man was of a passionate demonstrative nature and gave strong expression to all he felt
Oh papa
Well I only want you to do justice to Mr Thornton who is I suspect of an exactly opposite nature—a man who is far too proud to show his feelings Just the character I should have thought beforehand you would have admired Margaret
So I do—so I should but I dont feel quite so sure as you do of the existence of those feelings He is a man of great strength of character—of unusual intellect considering the few advantages he has had
Not so few He has led a practical life from a very early age has been called upon to exercise judgment and selfcontrol All that developes one part of the intellect To be sure he needs some of the knowledge of the past which gives the truest basis for conjecture as to the future but he knows this need—he perceives it and that is something You are quite prejudiced against Mr Thornton Margaret
He is the first specimen of a manufacturer—of a person engaged in trade—that I had ever the opportunity of studying papa He is my first olive let me make a face while I swallow it I know he is good of his kind and by and by I shall like the kind I rather think I am already beginning to do so I was very much interested by what the gentlemen were talking about although I did not understand half of it I was quite sorry when Miss Thornton came to take me to the other end of the room saying she was sure I should be uncomfortable at being the only lady among so many gentlemen I had never thought about it I was so busy listening and the ladies were so dull papa—oh so dull Yet I think it was clever too It reminded me of our old game of having each so many nouns to introduce into a sentence
What do you mean child asked Mr Hale
Why they took nouns that were signs of things which gave evidence of wealth—housekeepers undergardeners extent of glass valuable lace diamonds and all such things and each one formed her speech so as to bring them all in in the prettiest accidental manner possible
You will be as proud of your one servant when you get her if all is true about her that Mrs Thornton says
To be sure I shall I felt like a great hypocrite tonight sitting there in my white silk gown with my idle hands before me when I remembered all the good thorough housework they had done today They took me for a fine lady Im sure
Even I was mistaken enough to think you looked like a lady my dear said Mr Hale quietly smiling
But smiles were changed to white and trembling looks when they saw Dixons face as she opened the door
Oh master—Oh Miss Margaret Thank God you are come Dr Donaldson is here The servant next door went for him for the charwoman is gone home Shes better now but oh sir I thought shed have died an hour ago
Mr Hale caught Margarets arm to steady himself from falling He looked at her face and saw an expression upon it of surprise and extremest sorrow but not the agony of terror that contracted his own unprepared heart She knew more than he did and yet she listened with that hopeless expression of awed apprehension
Oh I should not have left her—wicked daughter that I am moaned forth Margaret as she supported her trembling fathers hasty steps upstairs Dr Donaldson met them on the landing
She is better now he whispered The opiate has taken effect The spasms were very bad no wonder they frightened your maid but shell rally this time
This time Let me go to her Half an hour ago Mr Hale was a middleaged man now his sight was dim his senses wavering his walk tottering as if he were seventy years of age
Dr Donaldson took his arm and led him into the bedroom Margaret followed close There lay her mother with an unmistakable look on her face She might be better now she was sleeping but Death had signed her for his own and it was clear that ere long he would return to take possession Mr Hale looked at her for some time without a word Then he began to shake all over and turning away from Dr Donaldsons anxious care he groped to find the door he could not see it although several candles brought in the sudden affright were burning and flaring there He staggered into the drawingroom and felt about for a chair Dr Donaldson wheeled one to him and placed him in it He felt his pulse
Speak to him Miss Hale We must rouse him
Papa said Margaret with a crying voice that was wild with pain Papa Speak to me The speculation came again into his eyes and he made a great effort
Margaret did you know of this Oh it was cruel of you
No sir it was not cruel replied Dr Donaldson with quick decision Miss Hale acted under my directions There may have been a mistake but it was not cruel Your wife will be a different creature tomorrow I trust She has had spasms as I anticipated though I did not tell Miss Hale of my apprehensions She has taken the opiate I brought with me she will have a good long sleep and tomorrow that look which has alarmed you so much will have passed away
But not the disease
Dr Donaldson glanced at Margaret Her bent head her face raised with no appeal for a temporary reprieve showed that quick observer of human nature that she thought it better that the whole truth should be told
Not the disease We cannot touch the disease with all our poor vaunted skill We can only delay its progress—alleviate the pain it causes Be a man sir—a Christian Have faith in the immortality of the soul which no pain no mortal disease can assail or touch
But all the reply he got was in the choked words You have never been married Dr Donaldson you do not know what it is and in the deep manly sobs which went through the stillness of the night like heavy pulses of agony Margaret knelt by him caressing him with tearful caresses No one not even Dr Donaldson knew how the time went by Mr Hale was the first to dare to speak of the necessities of the present moment
What must we do asked he Tell us both Margaret is my staff—my right hand
Dr Donaldson gave his clear sensible directions No fear for tonight—nay even peace for tomorrow and for many days yet But no enduring hope of recovery He advised Mr Hale to go to bed and leave only one to watch the slumber which he hoped would be undisturbed He promised to come again early in the morning And with a warm and kindly shake of the hand he left them They spoke but few words they were too much exhausted by their terror to do more than decide upon the immediate course of action Mr Hale was resolved to sit up through the night and all that Margaret could do was to prevail upon him to rest on the drawingroom sofa Dixon stoutly and bluntly refused to go to bed and as for Margaret it was simply impossible that she should leave her mother let all the doctors in the world speak of husbanding resources and one watcher only being required So Dixon sat and stared and winked and drooped and picked herself up again with a jerk and finally gave up the battle and fairly snored Margaret had taken off her gown and tossed it aside with a sort of impatient disgust and put on her dressinggown She felt as if she never could sleep again as if her whole senses were acutely vital and all endued with double keenness for the purposes of watching Every sight and sound—nay even every thought touched some nerve to the very quick For more than two hours she heard her fathers restless movements in the next room He came perpetually to the door of her mothers chamber pausing there to listen till she not hearing his close unseen presence went and opened it to tell him how all went on in reply to the questions his baked lips could hardly form At last he too fell asleep and all the house was still Margaret sate behind the curtain thinking Far away in time far away in space seemed all the interests of past days Not more than thirtysix hours ago she cared for Bessy Higgins and her father and her heart was wrung for Boucher now that was all like a dreaming memory of some former life—everything that had passed out of doors seemed dissevered from her mother and therefore unreal Even Harley Street appeared more distinct there she remembered as if it were yesterday how she had pleased herself with tracing out her mothers features in her Aunt Shaws face—and how letters had come making her dwell on the thoughts of home with all the longing of love Helstone itself was in the dim past The dull gray days of the preceding winter and spring so uneventless and monotonous seemed more associated with what she cared for now above all price She would fain have caught at the skirts of that departing time and prayed it to return and give her back what she had too little valued while it was yet in her possession What a vain show Life seemed How unsubstantial and flickering and flitting It was as if from some aerial belfry high up above the stir and jar of the earth there was a bell continually tolling All are shadows—all are passing—all is past And when the morning dawned cool and gray like many a happier morning before—when Margaret looked one by one at the sleepers it seemed as if the terrible night were unreal as a dream it too was a shadow It too was past
Mrs Hale herself was not aware when she awoke how ill she had been the night before She was rather surprised at Dr Donaldsons early visit and perplexed by the anxious faces of husband and child She consented to remain in bed that day saying she certainly was tired but the next she insisted on getting up and Dr Donaldson gave his consent to her returning into the drawingroom She was restless and uncomfortable in every position and before night she became very feverish Mr Hale was utterly listless and incapable of deciding on anything
What can we do to spare mamma such another night asked Margaret on the third day
It is to a certain degree the reaction after the powerful opiates I have been obliged to use It is more painful for you to see than for her to bear I believe But I think if we could get a waterbed it might be a good thing Not but what she will be better tomorrow pretty much like herself as she was before this attack Still I should like her to have a waterbed Mrs Thornton has one I know Ill try and call there this afternoon Stay said he his eye catching on Margarets face blanched with watching in a sick room Im not sure whether I can go Ive a long round to take It would do you no harm to have a brisk walk to Marlborough Street and ask Mrs Thornton if she can spare it
Certainly said Margaret I could go while mamma is asleep this afternoon Im sure Mrs Thornton would lend it to us
Dr Donaldsons experience told them rightly Mrs Hale seemed to shake off the consequences of her attack and looked brighter and better this afternoon than Margaret had ever hoped to see her again Her daughter left her after dinner sitting in her easy chair with her hand lying in her husbands who looked more worn and suffering than she by far Still he could smile now—rather slowly rather faintly it is true but a day or two before Margaret never thought to see him smile again
It was about two miles from their house in Crampton Crescent to Marlborough Street It was too hot to walk very quickly An August sun beat straight down into the street at three oclock in the afternoon Margaret went along without noticing anything very different from usual in the first mile and a half of her journey she was absorbed in her own thoughts and had learnt by this time to thread her way through the irregular stream of human beings that flowed through Milton streets But by and by she was struck with an unusual heaving among the mass of people in the crowded road on which she was entering They did not appear to be moving on so much as talking and listening and buzzing with excitement without much stirring from the spot where they might happen to be Still as they made way for her and wrapt up in the purpose of her errand and the necessities that suggested it she was less quick of observation than she might have been if her mind had been at ease she had got into Marlborough Street before the full conviction forced itself upon her that there was a restless oppressive sense of irritation abroad among the people a thunderous atmosphere morally as well as physically around her From every narrow lane opening out on Marlborough Street came up a low distant roar as of myriads of fierce indignant voices The inhabitants of each poor squalid dwelling were gathered round the doors and windows if indeed they were not actually standing in the middle of the narrow ways—all with looks intent towards one point Marlborough Street itself was the focus of all those human eyes that betrayed intensest interest of various kinds some fierce with anger some lowering with relentless threats some dilated with fear or imploring entreaty and as Margaret reached the small sideentrance by the folding doors in the great dead wall of Marlborough millyard and waited the porters answer to the bell she looked round and heard the first long faroff roll of the tempest—saw the first slowsurging wave of the dark crowd come with its threatening crest tumble over and retreat at the far end of the street which a moment ago seemed so full of repressed noise but which now was ominously still all these circumstances forced themselves on Margarets notice but did not sink down into her preoccupied heart She did not know what they meant—what was their deep significance while she did know did feel the keen sharp pressure of the knife that was soon to stab her through and through by leaving her motherless She was trying to realise that in order that when it came she might be ready to comfort her father
The porter opened the door cautiously not nearly wide enough to admit her
Its you is it maam said he drawing a long breath and widening the entrance but still not opening it fully Margaret went in He hastily bolted it behind her
Th folk are all coming up here I reckon asked he
I dont know Something unusual seemed going on but this street is quite empty I think
She went across the yard and up the steps to the house door There was no near sound—no steamengine at work with beat and pant—no click of machinery or mingling and clashing of many sharp voices but far away the ominous gathering roar deepclamouring
CHAPTER XXII—A BLOW AND ITS CONSEQUENCES
But work grew scarce while bread grew dear
And wages lessened too
For Irish hordes were bidders here
Our halfpaid work to do
CORN LAW RHYMES
Margaret was shown into the drawingroom It had returned into its normal state of bag and covering The windows were half open because of the heat and the Venetian blinds covered the glass—so that a gray grim light reflected from the pavement below threw all the shadows wrong and combined with the greentinged upper light to make even Margarets own face as she caught it in the mirrors look ghastly and wan She sat and waited no one came Every now and then the wind seemed to bear the distant multitudinous sound nearer and yet there was no wind It died away into profound stillness between whiles
Fanny came in at last
Mamma will come directly Miss Hale She desired me to apologise to you as it is Perhaps you know my brother has imported hands from Ireland and it has irritated the Milton people excessively—as if he hadnt a right to get labour where he could and the stupid wretches here wouldnt work for him and now theyve frightened these poor Irish starvelings so with their threats that we darent let them out You may see them huddled in that top room in the mill—and theyre to sleep there to keep them safe from those brutes who will neither work nor let them work And mamma is seeing about their food and John is speaking to them for some of the women are crying to go back Ah heres mamma
Mrs Thornton came in with a look of black sternness on her face which made Margaret feel she had arrived at a bad time to trouble her with her request However it was only in compliance with Mrs Thorntons expressed desire that she would ask for whatever they might want in the progress of her mothers illness Mrs Thorntons brow contracted and her mouth grew set while Margaret spoke with gentle modesty of her mothers restlessness and Dr Donaldsons wish that she should have the relief of a waterbed She ceased Mrs Thornton did not reply immediately Then she started up and exclaimed—
Theyre at the gates Call John Fanny—call him in from the mill Theyre at the gates Theyll batter them in Call John I say
And simultaneously the gathering tramp—to which she had been listening instead of heeding Margarets words—was heard just right outside the wall and an increasing din of angry voices raged behind the wooden barrier which shook as if the unseen maddened crowd made batteringrams of their bodies and retreated a short space only to come with more united steady impetus against it till their great beats made the strong gates quiver like reeds before the wind The women gathered round the windows fascinated to look on the scene which terrified them Mrs Thornton the womenservants Margaret—all were there Fanny had returned screaming upstairs as if pursued at every step and had thrown herself in hysterical sobbing on the sofa Mrs Thornton watched for her son who was still in the mill He came out looked up at them—the pale cluster of faces—and smiled good courage to them before he locked the factorydoor Then he called to one of the women to come down and undo his own door which Fanny had fastened behind her in her mad flight Mrs Thornton herself went And the sound of his wellknown and commanding voice seemed to have been like the taste of blood to the infuriated multitude outside Hitherto they had been voiceless wordless needing all their breath for their hardlabouring efforts to break down the gates But now hearing him speak inside they set up such a fierce unearthly groan that even Mrs Thornton was white with fear as she preceded him into the room He came in a little flushed but his eyes gleaming as in answer to the trumpetcall of danger and with a proud look of defiance on his face that made him a noble if not a handsome man Margaret had always dreaded lest her courage should fail her in any emergency and she should be proved to be what she dreaded lest she was—a coward But now in this real great time of reasonable fear and nearness of terror she forgot herself and felt only an intense sympathy—intense to painfulness—in the interests of the moment
Mr Thornton came frankly forwards
Im sorry Miss Hale you have visited us at this unfortunate moment when I fear you may be involved in whatever risk we have to bear Mother hadnt you better go into the back rooms Im not sure whether they may not have made their way from Pinners Lane into the stableyard but if not you will be safer there than here Go Jane continued he addressing the upperservant And she went followed by the others
I stop here said his mother Where you are there I stay And indeed retreat into the back rooms was of no avail the crowd had surrounded the outbuildings at the rear and were sending forth their awful threatening roar behind The servants retreated into the garrets with many a cry and shriek Mr Thornton smiled scornfully as he heard them He glanced at Margaret standing all by herself at the window nearest the factory Her eyes glittered her colour was deepened on cheek and lip As if she felt his look she turned to him and asked a question that had been for some time in her mind
Where are the poor imported workpeople In the factory there
Yes I left them cowered up in a small room at the head of a back flight of stairs bidding them run all risks and escape down there if they heard any attack made on the milldoors But it is not them—it is me they want
When can the soldiers be here asked his mother in a low but not unsteady voice
He took out his watch with the same measured composure with which he did everything He made some little calculation
Supposing Williams got straight off when I told him and hadnt to dodge about amongst them—it must be twenty minutes yet
Twenty minutes said his mother for the first time showing her terror in the tones of her voice
Shut down the windows instantly mother exclaimed he the gates wont bear such another shock Shut down that window Miss Hale
Margaret shut down her window and then went to assist Mrs Thorntons trembling fingers
From some cause or other there was a pause of several minutes in the unseen street Mrs Thornton looked with wild anxiety at her sons countenance as if to gain the interpretation of the sudden stillness from him His face was set into rigid lines of contemptuous defiance neither hope nor fear could be read there
Fanny raised herself up
Are they gone asked she in a whisper
Gone replied he Listen
She did listen they all could hear the one great straining breath the creak of wood slowly yielding the wrench of iron the mighty fall of the ponderous gates Fanny stood up tottering—made a step or two towards her mother and fell forwards into her arms in a fainting fit Mrs Thornton lifted her up with a strength that was as much that of the will as of the body and carried her away
Thank God said Mr Thornton as he watched her out Had you not better go upstairs Miss Hale
Margarets lips formed a No—but he could not hear her speak for the tramp of innumerable steps right under the very wall of the house and the fierce growl of low deep angry voices that had a ferocious murmur of satisfaction in them more dreadful than their baffled cries not many minutes before
Never mind said he thinking to encourage her I am very sorry you should have been entrapped into all this alarm but it cannot last long now a few minutes more and the soldiers will be here
Oh God cried Margaret suddenly there is Boucher I know his face though he is livid with rage—he is fighting to get to the front—look look
Who is Boucher asked Mr Thornton coolly and coming close to the window to discover the man in whom Margaret took such an interest As soon as they saw Mr Thornton they set up a yell—to call it not human is nothing—it was as the demoniac desire of some terrible wild beast for the food that is withheld from his ravening Even he drew back for a moment dismayed at the intensity of hatred he had provoked
Let them yell said he In five minutes more— I only hope my poor Irishmen are not terrified out of their wits by such a fiendlike noise Keep up your courage for five minutes Miss Hale
Dont be afraid for me she said hastily But what in five minutes Can you do nothing to soothe these poor creatures It is awful to see them
The soldiers will be here directly and that will bring them to reason
To reason said Margaret quickly What kind of reason
The only reason that does with men that make themselves into wild beasts By heaven theyve turned to the milldoor
Mr Thornton said Margaret shaking all over with her passion go down this instant if you are not a coward Go down and face them like a man Save these poor strangers whom you have decoyed here Speak to your workmen as if they were human beings Speak to them kindly Dont let the soldiers come in and cut down poorcreatures who are driven mad I see one there who is If you have any courage or noble quality in you go out and speak to them man to man
He turned and looked at her while she spoke A dark cloud came over his face while he listened He set his teeth as he heard her words
I will go Perhaps I may ask you to accompany me downstairs and bar the door behind me my mother and sister will need that protection
Oh Mr Thornton I do not know—I may be wrong—only—
But he was gone he was downstairs in the hall he had unbarred the front door all she could do was to follow him quickly and fasten it behind him and clamber up the stairs again with a sick heart and a dizzy head Again she took her place by the farthest window He was on the steps below she saw that by the direction of a thousand angry eyes but she could neither see nor hear anything save the savage satisfaction of the rolling angry murmur She threw the window wide open Many in the crowd were mere boys cruel and thoughtless—cruel because they were thoughtless some were men gaunt as wolves and mad for prey She knew how it was they were like Boucher with starving children at home—relying on ultimate success in their efforts to get higher wages and enraged beyond measure at discovering that Irishmen were to be brought in to rob their little ones of bread Margaret knew it all she read it in Bouchers face forlornly desperate and livid with rage If Mr Thornton would but say something to them—let them hear his voice only—it seemed as if it would be better than this wild beating and raging against the stony silence that vouchsafed them no word even of anger or reproach But perhaps he was speaking now there was a momentary hush of their noise inarticulate as that of a troop of animals She tore her bonnet off and bent forwards to hear She could only see for if Mr Thornton had indeed made the attempt to speak the momentary instinct to listen to him was past and gone and the people were raging worse than ever He stood with his arms folded still as a statue his face pale with repressed excitement They were trying to intimidate him—to make him flinch each was urging the other on to some immediate act of personal violence Margaret felt intuitively that in an instant all would be uproar the first touch would cause an explosion in which among such hundreds of infuriated men and reckless boys even Mr Thorntons life would be unsafe—that in another instant the stormy passions would have passed their bounds and swept away all barriers of reason or apprehension of consequence Even while she looked she saw lads in the background stooping to take off their heavy wooden clogs—the readiest missile they could find she saw it was the spark to the gunpowder and with a cry which no one heard she rushed out of the room downstairs—she had lifted the great iron bar of the door with an imperious force—had thrown the door open wide—and was there in face of that angry sea of men her eyes smiting them with flaming arrows of reproach The clogs were arrested in the hands that held them—the countenances so fell not a moment before now looked irresolute and as if asking what this meant For she stood between them and their enemy She could not speak but held out her arms towards them till she could recover breath
Oh do not use violence He is one man and you are many but her words died away for there was no tone in her voice it was but a hoarse whisper Mr Thornton stood a little on one side he had moved away from behind her as if jealous of anything that should come between him and danger
Go said she once more and now her voice was like a cry The soldiers are sent for—are coming Go peaceably Go away You shall have relief from your complaints whatever they are
Shall them Irish blackguards be packed back again asked one from out the crowd with fierce threatening in his voice
Never for your bidding exclaimed Mr Thornton And instantly the storm broke The hootings rose and filled the air—but Margaret did not hear them Her eye was on the group of lads who had armed themselves with their clogs some time before She saw their gesture—she knew its meaning—she read their aim Another moment and Mr Thornton might be smitten down—he whom she had urged and goaded to come to this perilous place She only thought how she could save him She threw her arms around him she made her body into a shield from the fierce people beyond Still with his arms folded he shook her off
Go away said he in his deep voice This is no place for you
It is said she You did not see what I saw If she thought her sex would be a protection—if with shrinking eyes she had turned away from the terrible anger of these men in any hope that ere she looked again they would have paused and reflected and slunk away and vanished—she was wrong Their reckless passion had carried them too far to stop—at least had carried some of them too far for it is always the savage lads with their love of cruel excitement who head the riot—reckless to what bloodshed it may lead A clog whizzed through the air Margarets fascinated eyes watched its progress it missed its aim and she turned sick with affright but changed not her position only hid her face on Mr Thorntons arm Then she turned and spoke again
For Gods sake do not damage your cause by this violence You do not know what you are doing She strove to make her words distinct
A sharp pebble flew by her grazing forehead and cheek and drawing a blinding sheet of light before her eyes She lay like one dead on Mr Thorntons shoulder Then he unfolded his arms and held her encircled in one for an instant
You do well said he You come to oust the innocent stranger You fall—you hundreds—on one man and when a woman comes before you to ask you for your own sakes to be reasonable creatures your cowardly wrath falls upon her You do well They were silent while he spoke They were watching openeyed and openmouthed the thread of darkred blood which wakened them up from their trance of passion Those nearest the gate stole out ashamed there was a movement through all the crowd—a retreating movement Only one voice cried out
Th stone were meant for thee but thou wert sheltered behind a woman
Mr Thornton quivered with rage The bloodflowing had made Margaret conscious—dimly vaguely conscious He placed her gently on the doorstep her head leaning against the frame
Can you rest there he asked But without waiting for her answer he went slowly down the steps right into the middle of the crowd Now kill me if it is your brutal will There is no woman to shield me here You may beat me to death—you will never move me from what I have determined upon—not you He stood amongst them with his arms folded in precisely the same attitude as he had been in on the steps
But the retrograde movement towards the gate had begun—as unreasoningly perhaps as blindly as the simultaneous anger Or perhaps the idea of the approach of the soldiers and the sight of that pale upturned face with closed eyes still and sad as marble though the tears welled out of the long entanglement of eyelashes and dropped down and heavier slower plash than even tears came the drip of blood from her wound Even the most desperate—Boucher himself—drew back faltered away scowled and finally went off muttering curses on the master who stood in his unchanging attitude looking after their retreat with defiant eyes The moment that retreat had changed into a flight as it was sure from its very character to do he darted up the steps to Margaret She tried to rise without his help
It is nothing she said with a sickly smile The skin is grazed and I was stunned at the moment Oh I am so thankful they are gone And she cried without restraint
He could not sympathise with her His anger had not abated it was rather rising the more as his sense of immediate danger was passing away The distant clank of the soldiers was heard just five minutes too late to make this vanished mob feel the power of authority and order He hoped they would see the troops and be quelled by the thought of their narrow escape While these thoughts crossed his mind Margaret clung to the doorpost to steady herself but a film came over her eyes—he was only just in time to catch her Mother—mother cried he Come down—they are gone and Miss Hale is hurt He bore her into the diningroom and laid her on the sofa there laid her down softly and looking on her pure white face the sense of what she was to him came upon him so keenly that he spoke it out in his pain
Oh my Margaret—my Margaret no one can tell what you are to me Dead—cold as you lie there you are the only woman I ever loved Oh Margaret—Margaret Inarticulately as he spoke kneeling by her and rather moaning than saying the words he started up ashamed of himself as his mother came in She saw nothing but her son a little paler a little sterner than usual
Miss Hale is hurt mother A stone has grazed her temple She has lost a good deal of blood Im afraid
She looks very seriously hurt—I could almost fancy her dead said Mrs Thornton a good deal alarmed
It is only a faintingfit She has spoken to me since But all the blood in his body seemed to rush inwards to his heart as he spoke and he absolutely trembled
Go and call Jane—she can find me the things I want and do you go to your Irish people who are crying and shouting as if they were mad with fright He went He went away as if weights were tied to every limb that bore him from her He called Jane he called his sister She should have all womanly care all gentle tendance But every pulse beat in him as he remembered how she had come down and placed herself in foremost danger—could it be to save him At the time he had pushed her aside and spoken gruffly he had seen nothing but the unnecessary danger she had placed herself in He went to his Irish people with every nerve in his body thrilling at the thought of her and found it difficult to understand enough of what they were saying to soothe and comfort away their fears There they declared they would not stop they claimed to be sent back And so he had to think and talk and reason
Mrs Thornton bathed Margarets temples with eau de Cologne As the spirit touched the wound which till then neither Mrs Thornton nor Jane had perceived Margaret opened her eyes but it was evident she did not know where she was nor who they were The dark circles deepened the lips quivered and contracted and she became insensible once more
She has had a terrible blow said Mrs Thornton Is there any one who will go for a doctor
Not me maam if you please said Jane shrinking back Them rabble may be all about I dont think the cut is so deep maam as it looks
I will not run the chance She was hurt in our house If you are a coward Jane I am not I will go
Pray maam let me send one of the police Theres ever so many come up and soldiers too
And yet youre afraid to go I will not have their time taken up with our errands Theyll have enough to do to catch some of the mob You will not be afraid to stop in this house she asked contemptuously and go on bathing Miss Hales forehead shall you I shall not be ten minutes away
Couldnt Hannah go maam
Why Hannah Why any but you No Jane if you dont go I do
Mrs Thornton went first to the room in which she had left Fanny stretched on the bed She started up as her mother entered
Oh mamma how you terrified me I thought you were a man that had got into the house
Nonsense The men are all gone away There are soldiers all round the place seeking for their work now it is too late Miss Hale is lying on the diningroom sofa badly hurt I am going for the doctor
Oh dont mamma theyll murder you She clung to her mothers gown Mrs Thornton wrenched it away with no gentle hand
Find me some one else to go but that girl must not bleed to death
Bleed oh how horrid How has she got hurt
I dont know—I have no time to ask Go down to her Fanny and do try to make yourself of use Jane is with her and I trust it looks worse than it is Jane has refused to leave the house cowardly woman And I wont put myself in the way of any more refusals from my servants so I am going myself
Oh dear dear said Fanny crying and preparing to go down rather than be left alone with the thought of wounds and bloodshed in the very house
Oh Jane said she creeping into the diningroom what is the matter How white she looks How did she get hurt Did they throw stones into the drawingroom
Margaret did indeed look white and wan although her senses were beginning to return to her But the sickly daze of the swoon made her still miserably faint She was conscious of movement around her and of refreshment from the eau de Cologne and a craving for the bathing to go on without intermission but when they stopped to talk she could no more have opened her eyes or spoken to ask for more bathing than the people who lie in deathlike trance can move or utter sound to arrest the awful preparations for their burial while they are yet fully aware not merely of the actions of those around them but of the idea that is the motive for such actions
Jane paused in her bathing to reply to Miss Thorntons question
Shed have been safe enough miss if shed stayed in the drawingroom or come up to us we were in the front garret and could see it all out of harms way
Where was she then said Fanny drawing nearer by slow degrees as she became accustomed to the sight of Margarets pale face
Just before the front door—with master said Jane significantly
With John with my brother How did she get there
Nay miss thats not for me to say answered Jane with a slight toss of her head Sarah did——
Sarah what said Fanny with impatient curiosity
Jane resumed her bathing as if what Sarah did or said was not exactly the thing she liked to repeat
Sarah what asked Fanny sharply Dont speak in these half sentences or I cant understand you
Well miss since you will have it—Sarah you see was in the best place for seeing being at the righthand window and she says and said at the very time too that she saw Miss Hale with her arms about masters neck hugging him before all the people
I dont believe it said Fanny I know she cares for my brother any one can see that and I dare say shed give her eyes if hed marry her—which he never will I can tell her But I dont believe shed be so bold and forward as to put her arms round his neck
Poor young lady shes paid for it dearly if she did Its my belief that the blow has given her such an ascendency of blood to the head as shell never get the better from She looks like a corpse now
Oh I wish mamma would come said Fanny wringing her hands I never was in the room with a dead person before
Stay miss Shes not dead her eyelids are quivering and heres wet tears acoming down her cheeks Speak to her Miss Fanny
Are you better now asked Fanny in a quavering voice
No answer no sign of recognition but a faint pink colour returned to her lips although the rest of her face was ashen pale
Mrs Thornton came hurriedly in with the nearest surgeon she could find How is she Are you better my dear as Margaret opened her filmy eyes and gazed dreamily at her Here is Mr Lowe come to see you
Mrs Thornton spoke loudly and distinctly as to a deaf person Margaret tried to rise and drew her ruffled luxuriant hair instinctly over the cut I am better now said she in a very low faint voice I was a little sick She let him take her hand and feel her pulse The bright colour came for a moment into her face when he asked to examine the wound in her forehead and she glanced up at Jane as if shrinking from her inspection more than from the doctors
It is not much I think I am better now I must go home
Not until I have applied some strips of plaster and you have rested a little
She sat down hastily without another word and allowed it to be bound up
Now if you please said she I must go Mamma will not see it I think It is under the hair is it not
Quite no one could tell
But you must not go said Mrs Thornton impatiently You are not fit to go
I must said Margaret decidedly Think of mamma If they should hear—— Besides I must go said she vehemently I cannot stay here May I ask for a cab
You are quite flushed and feverish observed Mr Lowe
It is only with being here when I do so want to go The air—getting away would do me more good than anything pleaded she
I really believe it is as she says Mr Lowe replied If her mother is so ill as you told me on the way here it may be very serious if she hears of this riot and does not see her daughter back at the time she expects The injury is not deep I will fetch a cab if your servants are still afraid to go out
Oh thank you said Margaret It will do me more good than anything It is the air of this room that makes me feel so miserable
She leant back on the sofa and closed her eyes Fanny beckoned her mother out of the room and told her something that made her equally anxious with Margaret for the departure of the latter Not that she fully believed Fannys statement but she credited enough to make her manner to Margaret appear very much constrained at wishing her goodbye
Mr Lowe returned in the cab
If you will allow me I will see you home Miss Hale The streets are not very quiet yet
Margarets thoughts were quite alive enough to the present to make her desirous of getting rid of both Mr Lowe and the cab before she reached Crampton Crescent for fear of alarming her father and mother Beyond that one aim she would not look That ugly dream of insolent words spoken about herself could never be forgotten—but could be put aside till she was stronger—for oh she was very weak and her mind sought for some present fact to steady itself upon and keep it from utterly losing consciousness in another hideous sickly swoon
CHAPTER XXIII—MISTAKES
Which when his mother saw she in her mind
Was troubled sore ne wist well what to ween
SPENSER
Margaret had not been gone five minutes when Mr Thornton came in his face all aglow
I could not come sooner the superintendent would—— Where is she He looked round the diningroom and then almost fiercely at his mother who was quietly rearranging the disturbed furniture and did not instantly reply Where is Miss Hale asked he again
Gone home said she rather shortly
Gone home
Yes She was a great deal better Indeed I dont believe it was so very much of a hurt only some people faint at the least thing
I am sorry she is gone home said he walking uneasily about She could not have been fit for it
She said she was and Mr Lowe said she was I went for him myself
Thank you mother He stopped and partly held out his hand to give her a grateful shake But she did not notice the movement
What have you done with your Irish people
Sent to the Dragon for a good meal for them poor wretches And then luckily I caught Father Grady and Ive asked him in to speak to them and dissuade them from going off in a body How did Miss Hale go home Im sure she could not walk
She had a cab Everything was done properly even to the paying Let us talk of something else She has caused disturbance enough
I dont know where I should have been but for her
Are you become so helpless as to have to be defended by a girl asked Mrs Thornton scornfully
He reddened Not many girls would have taken the blows on herself which were meant for me—meant with right down goodwill too
A girl in love will do a good deal replied Mrs Thornton shortly
Mother He made a step forwards stood still heaved with passion
She was a little startled at the evident force he used to keep himself calm She was not sure of the nature of the emotions she had provoked It was only their violence that was clear Was it anger His eyes glowed his figure was dilated his breath came thick and fast It was a mixture of joy of anger of pride of glad surprise of panting doubt but she could not read it Still it made her uneasy—as the presence of all strong feeling of which the cause is not fully understood or sympathised in always has this effect She went to the sideboard opened a drawer and took out a duster which she kept there for any occasional purpose She had seen a drop of eau de Cologne on the polished arm of the sofa and instinctively sought to wipe it off But she kept her back turned to her son much longer than was necessary and when she spoke her voice seemed unusual and constrained
You have taken some steps about the rioters I suppose You dont apprehend any more violence do you Where were the police Never at hand when theyre wanted
On the contrary I saw three or four of them when the gates gave way struggling and beating about in fine fashion and more came running up just when the yard was clearing I might have given some of the fellows in charge then if I had had my wits about me But there will be no difficulty plenty of people can identify them
But wont they come back tonight
Im going to see about a sufficient guard for the premises I have appointed to meet Captain Hanbury in half an hour at the station
You must have some tea first
Tea Yes I suppose I must Its halfpast six and I may be out for some time Dont sit up for me mother
You expect me to go to bed before I have seen you safe do you
Well perhaps not He hesitated for a moment But if Ive time I shall go round by Crampton after Ive arranged with the police and seen Hamper and Clarkson Their eyes met they looked at each other intently for a minute Then she asked
Why are you going round by Crampton
To ask after Miss Hale
I will send Williams must take the waterbed she came to ask for He shall inquire how she is
I must go myself
Not merely to ask how Miss Hale is
No not merely for that I want to thank her for the way in which she stood between me and the mob
What made you go down at all It was putting your head into the lions mouth He glanced sharply at her saw that she did not know what had passed between him and Margaret in the drawingroom and replied by another question
Shall you be afraid to be left without me until I can get some of the police or had we better send Williams for them now and they could be here by the time we have done tea Theres no time to be lost I must be off in a quarter of an hour
Mrs Thornton left the room Her servants wondered at her directions usually so sharplycut and decided now confused and uncertain Mr Thornton remained in the diningroom trying to think of the business he had to do at the policeoffice and in reality thinking of Margaret Everything seemed dim and vague beyond—behind—besides the touch of her arms round his neck—the soft clinging which made the dark colour come and go in his cheek as he thought of it
The tea would have been very silent but for Fannys perpetual description of her own feelings how she had been alarmed—and then thought they were gone—and then felt sick and faint and trembling in every limb
There thats enough said her brother rising from the table The reality was enough for me He was going to leave the room when his mother stopped him with her hand upon his arm
You will come back here before you go to the Hales said she in a low anxious voice
I know what I know said Fanny to herself
Why Will it be too late to disturb them
John come back to me for this one evening It will be late for Mrs Hale But that is not it Tomorrow you will—— Come back tonight John She had seldom pleaded with her son at all—she was too proud for that but she had never pleaded in vain
I will return straight here after I have done my business You will be sure to inquire after them—after her
Mrs Thornton was by no means a talkative companion to Fanny nor yet a good listener while her son was absent But on his return her eyes and ears were keen to see and to listen to all the details which he could give as to the steps he had taken to secure himself and those whom he chose to employ from any repetition of the days outrages He clearly saw his object Punishment and suffering were the natural consequences to those who had taken part in the riot All that was necessary in order that property should be protected and that the will of the proprietor might cut to his end clean and sharp as a sword
Mother You know what I have got to say to Miss Hale tomorrow The question came upon her suddenly during a pause in which she at least had forgotten Margaret
She looked up at him
Yes I do You can hardly do otherwise
Do otherwise I dont understand you
I mean that after allowing her feelings so to overcome her I consider you bound in honour—
Bound in honour said he scornfully Im afraid honour has nothing to do with it Her feelings overcome her What feelings do you mean
Nay John there is no need to be angry Did she not rush down and cling to you to save you from danger
She did said he But mother continued he stopping short in his walk right in front of her I dare not hope I never was fainthearted before but I cannot believe such a creature cares for me
Dont be foolish John Such a creature Why she might be a dukes daughter to hear you speak And what proof more would you have I wonder of her caring for you I can believe she has had a struggle with her aristocratic way of viewing things but I like her the better for seeing clearly at last It is a good deal for me to say said Mrs Thornton smiling slowly while the tears stood in her eyes for after tonight I stand second It was to have you to myself all to myself a few hours longer that I begged you not to go till tomorrow
Dearest mother Still love is selfish and in an instant he reverted to his own hopes and fears in a way that drew the cold creeping shadow over Mrs Thorntons heart But I know she does not care for me I shall put myself at her feet—I must If it were but one chance in a thousand—or a million—I should do it
Dont fear said his mother crushing down her own personal mortification at the little notice he had taken of the rare ebullition of her maternal feelings—of the pang of jealousy that betrayed the intensity of her disregarded love Dont be afraid she said coldly As far as love may go she may be worthy of you It must have taken a good deal to overcome her pride Dont be afraid John said she kissing him as she wished him goodnight And she went slowly and majestically out of the room But when she got into her own she locked the door and sate down to cry unwonted tears
Margaret entered the room where her father and mother still sat holding low conversation together looking very pale and white She came close up to them before she could trust herself to speak
Mrs Thornton will send the waterbed mamma
Dear how tired you look Is it very hot Margaret
Very hot and the streets are rather rough with the strike
Margarets colour came back vivid and bright as ever but it faded away instantly
Here has been a message from Bessy Higgins asking you to go to her said Mrs Hale But Im sure you look too tired
Yes said Margaret I am tired I cannot go
She was very silent and trembling while she made tea She was thankful to see her father so much occupied with her mother as not to notice her looks Even after her mother went to bed he was not content to be absent from her but undertook to read her to sleep Margaret was alone
Now I will think of it—now I will remember it all I could not before—I dared not She sat still in her chair her hands clasped on her knees her lips compressed her eyes fixed as one who sees a vision She drew a deep breath
I who hate scenes—I who have despised people for showing emotion—who have thought them wanting in selfcontrol—I went down and must needs throw myself into the melee like a romantic fool Did I do any good They would have gone away without me I dare say But this was overleaping the rational conclusion—as in an instant her wellpoised judgment felt No perhaps they would not I did some good But what possessed me to defend that man as if he were a helpless child Ah said she clenching her hands together it is no wonder those people thought I was in love with him after disgracing myself in that way I in love—and with him too Her pale cheeks suddenly became one flame of fire and she covered her face with her hands When she took them away her palms were wet with scalding tears
Oh how low I am fallen that they should say that of me I could not have been so brave for any one else just because he was so utterly indifferent to me—if indeed I do not positively dislike him It made me the more anxious that there should be fair play on each side and I could see what fair play was It was not fair said she vehemently that he should stand there—sheltered awaiting the soldiers who might catch those poor maddened creatures as in a trap—without an effort on his part to bring them to reason And it was worse than unfair for them to set on him as they threatened I would do it again let who will say what they like of me If I saved one blow one cruel angry action that might otherwise have been committed I did a womans work Let them insult my maiden pride as they will—I walk pure before God
She looked up and a noble peace seemed to descend and calm her face till it was stiller than chiselled marble
Dixon came in
If you please Miss Margaret heres the waterbed from Mrs Thorntons Its too late for tonight Im afraid for missus is nearly asleep but it will do nicely for tomorrow
Very said Margaret You must send our best thanks
Dixon left the room for a moment
If you please Miss Margaret he says hes to ask particular how you are I think he must mean missus but he says his last words were to ask how Miss Hale was
Me said Margaret drawing herself up I am quite well Tell him I am perfectly well But her complexion was as deadly white as her handkerchief and her head ached intensely
Mr Hale now came in He had left his sleeping wife and wanted as Margaret saw to be amused and interested by something that she was to tell him With sweet patience did she bear her pain without a word of complaint and rummaged up numberless small subjects for conversation—all except the riot and that she never named once It turned her sick to think of it
Goodnight Margaret I have every chance of a good night myself and you are looking very pale with your watching I shall call Dixon if your mother needs anything Do you go to bed and sleep like a top for Im sure you need it poor child
Goodnight papa
She let her colour go—the forced smile fade away—the eyes grow dull with heavy pain She released her strong will from its laborious task Till morning she might feel ill and weary
She lay down and never stirred To move hand or foot or even so much as one finger would have been an exertion beyond the powers of either volition or motion She was so tired so stunned that she thought she never slept at all her feverish thoughts passed and repassed the boundary between sleeping and waking and kept their own miserable identity She could not be alone prostrate powerless as she was—a cloud of faces looked up at her giving her no idea of fierce vivid anger or of personal danger but a deep sense of shame that she should thus be the object of universal regard—a sense of shame so acute that it seemed as if she would fain have burrowed into the earth to hide herself and yet she could not escape out of that unwinking glare of many eyes
CHAPTER XXIV—MISTAKES CLEARED UP
Your beauty was the first that won the place
And scald the walls of my undaunted heart
Which captive now pines in a caitive case
Unkindly met with rigour for desert—
Yet not the less your servant shall abide
In spite of rude repulse or silent pride
WILLIAM FOWLER
The next morning Margaret dragged herself up thankful that the night was over—unrefreshed yet rested All had gone well through the house her mother had only wakened once A little breeze was stirring in the hot air and though there were no trees to show the playful tossing movement caused by the wind among the leaves Margaret knew how somewhere or another by wayside in copses or in thick green woods there was a pleasant murmuring dancing sound—a rushing and falling noise the very thought of which was an echo of distant gladness in her heart
She sat at her work in Mrs Hales room As soon as that forenoon slumber was over she would help her mother to dress after dinner she would go and see Bessy Higgins She would banish all recollection of the Thornton family—no need to think of them till they absolutely stood before her in flesh and blood But of course the effort not to think of them brought them only the more strongly before her and from time to time the hot flush came over her pale face sweeping it into colour as a sunbeam from between watery clouds comes swiftly moving over the sea
Dixon opened the door very softly and stole on tiptoe up to Margaret sitting by the shaded window
Mr Thornton Miss Margaret He is in the drawingroom
Margaret dropped her sewing
Did he ask for me Isnt papa come in
He asked for you miss and master is out
Very well I will come said Margaret quietly But she lingered strangely Mr Thornton stood by one of the windows with his back to the door apparently absorbed in watching something in the street But in truth he was afraid of himself His heart beat thick at the thought of her coming He could not forget the touch of her arms around his neck impatiently felt as it had been at the time but now the recollection of her clinging defence of him seemed to thrill him through and through—to melt away every resolution all power of selfcontrol as if it were wax before a fire He dreaded lest he should go forwards to meet her with his arms held out in mute entreaty that she would come and nestle there as she had done all unheeded the day before but never unheeded again His heart throbbed loud and quick Strong man as he was he trembled at the anticipation of what he had to say and how it might be received She might droop and flush and flutter to his arms as to her natural home and restingplace One moment he glowed with impatience at the thought that she might do this the next he feared a passionate rejection the very idea of which withered up his future with so deadly a blight that he refused to think of it He was startled by the sense of the presence of some one else in the room He turned round She had come in so gently that he had never heard her the street noises had been more distinct to his inattentive ear than her slow movements in her soft muslin gown
She stood by the table not offering to sit down Her eyelids were dropped half over her eyes her teeth were shut not compressed her lips were just parted over them allowing the white line to be seen between their curve Her slow deep breathings dilated her thin and beautiful nostrils it was the only motion visible on her countenance The finegrained skin the oval cheek the rich outline of her mouth its corners deep set in dimples—were all wan and pale today the loss of their usual natural healthy colour being made more evident by the heavy shadow of the dark hair brought down upon the temples to hide all sign of the blow she had received Her head for all its drooping eyes was thrown a little back in the old proud attitude Her long arms hung motionless by her sides Altogether she looked like some prisoner falsely accused of a crime that she loathed and despised and from which she was too indignant to justify herself
Mr Thornton made a hasty step or two forwards recovered himself and went with quiet firmness to the door which she had left open and shut it Then he came back and stood opposite to her for a moment receiving the general impression of her beautiful presence before he dared to disturb it perhaps to repel it by what he had to say
Miss Hale I was very ungrateful yesterday—
You had nothing to be grateful for said she raising her eyes and looking full and straight at him You mean I suppose that you believe you ought to thank me for what I did In spite of herself—in defiance of her anger—the thick blushes came all over her face and burnt into her very eyes which fell not nevertheless from their grave and steady look It was only a natural instinct any woman would have done just the same We all feel the sanctity of our sex as a high privilege when we see danger I ought rather said she hastily to apologise to you for having said thoughtless words which sent you down into the danger
It was not your words it was the truth they conveyed pungently as it was expressed But you shall not drive me off upon that and so escape the expression of my deep gratitude my— he was on the verge now he would not speak in the haste of his hot passion he would weigh each word He would and his will was triumphant He stopped in mid career
I do not try to escape from anything said she I simply say that you owe me no gratitude and I may add that any expression of it will be painful to me because I do not feel that I deserve it Still if it will relieve you from even a fancied obligation speak on
I do not want to be relieved from any obligation said he goaded by her calm manner Fancied or not fancied—I question not myself to know which—I choose to believe that I owe my very life to you—ay—smile and think it an exaggeration if you will I believe it because it adds a value to that life to think—oh Miss Hale continued he lowering his voice to such a tender intensity of passion that she shivered and trembled before him to think circumstance so wrought that whenever I exult in existence henceforward I may say to myself All this gladness in life all honest pride in doing my work in the world all this keen sense of being I owe to her And it doubles the gladness it makes the pride glow it sharpens the sense of existence till I hardly know if it is pain or pleasure to think that I owe it to one—nay you must you shall hear—said he stepping forwards with stern determination—to one whom I love as I do not believe man ever loved woman before He held her hand tight in his He panted as he listened for what should come He threw the hand away with indignation as he heard her icy tone for icy it was though the words came faltering out as if she knew not where to find them
Your way of speaking shocks me It is blasphemous I cannot help it if that is my first feeling It might not be so I dare say if I understood the kind of feeling you describe I do not want to vex you and besides we must speak gently for mamma is asleep but your whole manner offends me—
How exclaimed he Offends you I am indeed most unfortunate
Yes said she with recovered dignity I do feel offended and I think justly You seem to fancy that my conduct of yesterday—again the deep carnation blush but this time with eyes kindling with indignation rather than shame—was a personal act between you and me and that you may come and thank me for it instead of perceiving as a gentleman would—yes a gentleman she repeated in allusion to their former conversation about that word that any woman worthy of the name of woman would come forward to shield with her reverenced helplessness a man in danger from the violence of numbers
And the gentleman thus rescued is forbidden the relief of thanks he broke in contemptuously I am a man I claim the right of expressing my feelings
And I yielded to the right simply saying that you gave me pain by insisting upon it she replied proudly But you seem to have imagined that I was not merely guided by womanly instinct but—and here the passionate tears kept down for long—struggled with vehemently came up into her eyes and choked her voice—but that I was prompted by some particular feeling for you—you Why there was not a man—not a poor desperate man in all that crowd—for whom I had not more sympathy—for whom I should not have done what little I could more heartily
You may speak on Miss Hale I am aware of all these misplaced sympathies of yours I now believe that it was only your innate sense of oppression—yes I though a master may be oppressed—that made you act so nobly as you did I know you despise me allow me to say it is because you do not understand me
I do not care to understand she replied taking hold of the table to steady herself for she thought him cruel—as indeed he was—and she was weak with her indignation
No I see you do not You are unfair and unjust
Margaret compressed her lips She would not speak in answer to such accusations But for all that—for all his savage words he could have thrown himself at her feet and kissed the hem of her garment She did not speak she did not move The tears of wounded pride fell hot and fast He waited awhile longing for her to say something even a taunt to which he might reply But she was silent He took up his hat
One word more You look as if you thought it tainted you to be loved by me You cannot avoid it Nay I if I would cannot cleanse you from it But I would not if I could I have never loved any woman before my life has been too busy my thoughts too much absorbed with other things Now I love and will love But do not be afraid of too much expression on my part
I am not afraid she replied lifting herself straight up No one yet has ever dared to be impertinent to me and no one ever shall But Mr Thornton you have been very kind to my father said she changing her whole tone and bearing to a most womanly softness Dont let us go on making each other angry Pray dont He took no notice of her words he occupied himself in smoothing the nap of his hat with his coatsleeve for half a minute or so and then rejecting her offered hand and making as if he did not see her grave look of regret he turned abruptly away and left the room Margaret caught one glance at his face before he went
When he was gone she thought she had seen the gleam of unshed tears in his eyes and that turned her proud dislike into something different and kinder if nearly as painful—selfreproach for having caused such mortification to any one
But how could I help it asked she of herself I never liked him I was civil but I took no trouble to conceal my indifference Indeed I never thought about myself or him so my manners must have shown the truth All that yesterday he might mistake But that is his fault not mine I would do it again if need were though it does lead me into all this shame and trouble
CHAPTER XXV—FREDERICK
Revenge may have her own
Roused discipline aloud proclaims their cause
And injured navies urge their broken laws
BYRON
Margaret began to wonder whether all offers were as unexpected beforehand—as distressing at the time of their occurrence as the two she had had An involuntary comparison between Mr Lennox and Mr Thornton arose in her mind She had been sorry that an expression of any other feeling than friendship had been lured out by circumstances from Henry Lennox That regret was the predominant feeling on the first occasion of her receiving a proposal She had not felt so stunned—so impressed as she did now when echoes of Mr Thorntons voice yet lingered about the room In Lennoxs case he seemed for a moment to have slid over the boundary between friendship and love and the instant afterwards to regret it nearly as much as she did although for different reasons In Mr Thorntons case as far as Margaret knew there was no intervening stage of friendship Their intercourse had been one continued series of opposition Their opinions clashed and indeed she had never perceived that he had cared for her opinions as belonging to her the individual As far as they defied his rocklike power of character his passionstrength he seemed to throw them off from him with contempt until she felt the weariness of the exertion of making useless protests and now he had come in this strange wild passionate way to make known his love For although at first it had struck her that his offer was forced and goaded out of him by sharp compassion for the exposure she had made of herself—which he like others might misunderstand—yet even before he left the room—and certainly not five minutes after the clear conviction dawned upon her shined bright upon her that he did love her that he had loved her that he would love her And she shrank and shuddered as under the fascination of some great power repugnant to her whole previous life She crept away and hid from his idea But it was of no use To parody a line out of Fairfaxs Tasso—
His strong idea wandered through her thought
She disliked him the more for having mastered her inner will How dared he say that he would love her still even though she shook him off with contempt She wished she had spoken more—stronger Sharp decisive speeches came thronging into her mind now that it was too late to utter them The deep impression made by the interview was like that of a horror in a dream that will not leave the room although we waken up and rub our eyes and force a stiff rigid smile upon our lips It is there—there cowering and gibbering with fixed ghastly eyes in some corner of the chamber listening to hear whether we dare to breathe of its presence to any one And we dare not poor cowards that we are
And so she shuddered away from the threat of his enduring love What did he mean Had she not the power to daunt him She would see It was more daring than became a man to threaten her so Did he ground it upon the miserable yesterday If need were she would do the same tomorrow—by a crippled beggar willingly and gladly—but by him she would do it just as bravely in spite of his deductions and the cold slime of womens impertinence She did it because it was right and simple and true to save where she could save even to try to save Fais ce que dois advienne que pourra
Hitherto she had not stirred from where he had left her no outward circumstances had roused her out of the trance of thought in which she had been plunged by his last words and by the look of his deep intent passionate eyes as their flames had made her own fall before them She went to the window and threw it open to dispel the oppression which hung around her Then she went and opened the door with a sort of impetuous wish to shake off the recollection of the past hour in the company of others or in active exertion But all was profoundly hushed in the noonday stillness of a house where an invalid catches the unrefreshing sleep that is denied to the nighthours Margaret would not be alone What should she do Go and see Bessy Higgins of course thought she as the recollection of the message sent the night before flashed into her mind
And away she went
When she got there she found Bessy lying on the settle moved close to the fire though the day was sultry and oppressive She was laid down quite flat as if resting languidly after some paroxysm of pain Margaret felt sure she ought to have the greater freedom of breathing which a more sitting posture would procure and without a word she raised her up and so arranged the pillows that Bessy was more at ease though very languid
I thought I should na ha seen yo again said she at last looking wistfully in Margarets face
Im afraid youre much worse But I could not have come yesterday my mother was so ill—for many reasons said Margaret colouring
Yod mappen think I went beyond my place in sending Mary for yo But the wranglin and the loud voices had just torn me to pieces and I thought when father left oh if I could just hear her voice reading me some words o peace and promise I could die away into the silence and rest o God just as a babby is hushed up to sleep by its mothers lullaby
Shall I read you a chapter now
Ay do Mappen I shant listen to th sense at first it will seem far away—but when yo come to words I like—to th comforting texts—itll seem close in my ear and going through me as it were
Margaret began Bessy tossed to and fro If by an effort she attended for one moment it seemed as though she were convulsed into double restlessness the next At last she burst out Dont go on reading Its no use Im blaspheming all the time in my mind wi thinking angrily on what canna be helped—Yod hear of th riot mappen yesterday at Marlborough Mills Thorntons factory yo know
Your father was not there was he said Margaret colouring deep
Not he Hed ha given his right hand if it had never come to pass Its that thats fretting me Hes fairly knocked down in his mind by it Its no use telling him fools will always break out o bounds Yo never saw a man so downhearted as he is
But why asked Margaret I dont understand
Why yo see hes a committeeman on this special strike Th Union appointed him because though I say it as shouldnt say it hes reckoned a deep chap and true to th backbone And he and t other committeemen laid their plans They were to houd together through thick and thin what the major part thought tothers were to think whether they would or no And above all there was to be no going again the law of the land Folk would go with them if they saw them striving and starving wi dumb patience but if there was once any noise o fighting and struggling—even wi knobsticks—all was up as they knew by th experience of many and many a time before They would try and get speech o th knobsticks and coax em and reason wi em and mappen warn em off but whatever came the Committee charged all members o th Union to lie down and die if need were without striking a blow and then they reckoned they were sure o carrying th public with them And beside all that Committee knew they were right in their demand and they didnt want to have right all mixed up wi wrong till folk cant separate it no more nor I can th physicpowder from th jelly yo gave me to mix it in jelly is much the biggest but powder tastes it all through Well Ive told yo at length about thisn but Im tired out Yo just think for yorsel what it mun be for father to have a his work undone and by such a fool as Boucher who must needs go right again the orders of Committee and ruin th strike just as bad as if he meant to be a Judas Eh but father givd it him last night He went so far as to say hed go and tell police where they might find th ringleader o th riot hed give him up to th millowners to do what they would wi him Hed show the world that th real leaders o the strike were not such as Boucher but steady thoughtful men good hands and good citizens who were friendly to law and judgment and would uphold order who only wanted their right wage and wouldnt work even though they starved till they got em but who would neer injure property or life For dropping her voice they do say that Boucher threw a stone at Thorntons sister that welly killed her
Thats not true said Margaret It was not Boucher that threw the stone—she went first red then white
Yod be there then were yo asked Bessy languidly for indeed she had spoken with many pauses as if speech was unusually difficult to her
Yes Never mind Go on Only it was not Boucher that threw the stone But what did he answer to your father
He did na speak words He were all in such a tremble wi spent passion I could na bear to look at him I heard his breath coming quick and at one time I thought he were sobbing But when father said hed give him up to police he gave a great cry and struck father on th face wi his closed fist and be off like lightning Father were stunned wi the blow at first for all Boucher were weak wi passion and wi clemming He sat down a bit and put his hand afore his eyes and then made for th door I dunno where I got strength but I threw mysel off th settle and clung to him Father father said I Thoull never go peach on that poor clemmed man Ill never leave go on thee till thou sayst thou wunnot Dunnot be a fool says he words come readier than deeds to most men I never thought o telling th police on him though by G— he deserves it and I should na ha minded if some one else had done the dirty work and got him clapped up But now he has strucken me I could do it less nor ever for it would be getting other men to take up my quarrel But if ever he gets well oer this clemming and is in good condition he and Ill have an up and down fight purring an a and Ill see what I can do for him And so father shook me off—for indeed I was low and faint enough and his face was all clay white where it werent bloody and turned me sick to look at And I know not if I slept or waked or were in a dead swoon till Mary come in and I telled her to fetch yo to me And now dunnot talk to me but just read out th chapter Im easier in my mind for having spit it out but I want some thoughts of the world thats far away to take the weary taste of it out o my mouth Read me—not a sermon chapter but a story chapter theyve pictures in them which I see when my eyes are shut Read about the New Heavens and the New Earth and mappen Ill forget this
Margaret read in her soft low voice Though Bessys eyes were shut she was listening for some time for the moisture of tears gathered heavy on her eyelashes At last she slept with many starts and muttered pleadings Margaret covered her up and left her for she had an uneasy consciousness that she might be wanted at home and yet until now it seemed cruel to leave the dying girl Mrs Hale was in the drawingroom on her daughters return It was one of her better days and she was full of praises of the waterbed It had been more like the beds at Sir John Beresfords than anything she had slept on since She did not know how it was but people seemed to have lost the art of making the same kind of beds as they used to do in her youth One would think it was easy enough there was the same kind of feathers to be had and yet somehow till this last night she did not know when she had had a good sound resting sleep Mr Hale suggested that something of the merits of the featherbeds of former days might be attributed to the activity of youth which gave a relish to rest but this idea was not kindly received by his wife
No indeed Mr Hale it was those beds at Sir Johns Now Margaret youre young enough and go about in the day are the beds comfortable I appeal to you Do they give you a feeling of perfect repose when you lie down upon them or rather dont you toss about and try in vain to find an easy position and waken in the morning as tired as when you went to bed
Margaret laughed To tell the truth mamma Ive never thought about my bed at all what kind it is Im so sleepy at night that if I only lie down anywhere I nap off directly So I dont think Im a competent witness But then you know I never had the opportunity of trying Sir John Beresfords beds I never was at Oxenham
Were not you Oh no to be sure It was poor darling Fred I took with me I remember I only went to Oxenham once after I was married—to your Aunt Shaws wedding and poor little Fred was the baby then And I know Dixon did not like changing from ladys maid to nurse and I was afraid that if I took her near her old home and amongst her own people she might want to leave me But poor baby was taken ill at Oxenham with his teething and what with my being a great deal with Anna just before her marriage and not being very strong myself Dixon had more of the charge of him than she ever had before and it made her so fond of him and she was so proud when he would turn away from every one and cling to her that I dont believe she ever thought of leaving me again though it was very different from what shed been accustomed to Poor Fred Everybody loved him He was born with the gift of winning hearts It makes me think very badly of Captain Reid when I know that he disliked my own dear boy I think it a certain proof he had a bad heart Ah Your poor father Margaret He has left the room He cant bear to hear Fred spoken of
I love to hear about him mamma Tell me all you like you never can tell me too much Tell me what he was like as a baby
Why Margaret you must not be hurt but he was much prettier than you were I remember when I first saw you in Dixons arms I said Dear what an ugly little thing And she said Its not every child thats like Master Fred bless him Dear how well I remember it Then I could have had Fred in my arms every minute of the day and his cot was close by my bed and now now—Margaret—I dont know where my boy is and sometimes I think I shall never see him again
Margaret sat down by her mothers sofa on a little stool and softly took hold of her hand caressing it and kissing it as if to comfort Mrs Hale cried without restraint At last she sat straight stiff up on the sofa and turning round to her daughter she said with tearful almost solemn earnestness Margaret if I can get better—if God lets me have a chance of recovery it must be through seeing my son Frederick once more It will waken up all the poor springs of health left in me
She paused and seemed to try and gather strength for something more yet to be said Her voice was choked as she went on—was quavering as with the contemplation of some strange yet closelypresent idea
And Margaret if I am to die—if I am one of those appointed to die before many weeks are over—I must see my child first I cannot think how it must be managed but I charge you Margaret as you yourself hope for comfort in your last illness bring him to me that I may bless him Only for five minutes Margaret There could be no danger in five minutes Oh Margaret let me see him before I die
Margaret did not think of anything that might be utterly unreasonable in this speech we do not look for reason or logic in the passionate entreaties of those who are sick unto death we are stung with the recollection of a thousand slighted opportunities of fulfilling the wishes of those who will soon pass away from among us and do they ask us for the future happiness of our lives we lay it at their feet and will it away from us But this wish of Mrs Hales was so natural so just so right to both parties that Margaret felt as if on Fredericks account as well as on her mothers she ought to overlook all intermediate chances of danger and pledge herself to do everything in her power for its realisation The large pleading dilated eyes were fixed upon her wistfully steady in their gaze though the poor white lips quivered like those of a child Margaret gently rose up and stood opposite to her frail mother so that she might gather the secure fulfilment of her wish from the calm steadiness of her daughters face
Mamma I will write tonight and tell Frederick what you say I am as sure that he will come directly to us as I am sure of my life Be easy mamma you shall see him as far as anything earthly can be promised
You will write tonight Oh Margaret the post goes out at five—you will write by it wont you I have so few hours left—I feel dear as if I should not recover though sometimes your father overpersuades me into hoping you will write directly wont you Dont lose a single post for just by that very post I may miss him
But mamma papa is out
Papa is out and what then Do you mean that he would deny me this last wish Margaret Why I should not be ill—be dying—if he had not taken me away from Helstone to this unhealthy smoky sunless place
Oh mamma said Margaret
Yes it is so indeed He knows it himself he has said so many a time He would do anything for me you dont mean he would refuse me this last wish—prayer if you will And indeed Margaret the longing to see Frederick stands between me and God I cannot pray till I have this one thing indeed I cannot Dont lose time dear dear Margaret Write by this very next post Then he may be here—here in twentytwo days For he is sure to come No cords or chains can keep him In twentytwo days I shall see my boy She fell back and for a short time she took no notice of the fact that Margaret sat motionless her hand shading her eyes
You are not writing said her mother at last Bring me some pens and paper I will try and write myself She sat up trembling all over with feverish eagerness Margaret took her hand down and looked at her mother sadly
Only wait till papa comes in Let us ask him how best to do it
You promised Margaret not a quarter of an hour ago—you said he should come
And so he shall mamma dont cry my own dear mother Ill write here now—you shall see me write—and it shall go by this very post and if papa thinks fit he can write again when he comes in—it is only a days delay Oh mamma dont cry so pitifully—it cuts me to the heart
Mrs Hale could not stop her tears they came hysterically and in truth she made no effort to control them but rather called up all the pictures of the happy past and the probable future—painting the scene when she should lie a corpse with the son she had longed to see in life weeping over her and she unconscious of his presence—till she was melted by selfpity into a state of sobbing and exhaustion that made Margarets heart ache But at last she was calm and greedily watched her daughter as she began her letter wrote it with swift urgent entreaty sealed it up hurriedly for fear her mother should ask to see it and then to make security most sure at Mrs Hales own bidding took it herself to the postoffice She was coming home when her father overtook her
And where have you been my pretty maid asked he
To the postoffice—with a letter a letter to Frederick Oh papa perhaps I have done wrong but mamma was seized with such a passionate yearning to see him—she said it would make her well again—and then she said that she must see him before she died—I cannot tell you how urgent she was Did I do wrong Mr Hale did not reply at first Then he said
You should have waited till I came in Margaret
I tried to persuade her— and then she was silent
I dont know said Mr Hale after a pause She ought to see him if she wishes it so much for I believe it would do her much more good than all the doctors medicine—and perhaps set her up altogether but the danger to him Im afraid is very great
All these years since the mutiny papa
Yes it is necessary of course for government to take very stringent measures for the repression of offences against authority more particularly in the navy where a commanding officer needs to be surrounded in his mens eyes with a vivid consciousness of all the power there is at home to back him and take up his cause and avenge any injuries offered to him if need be Ah its no matter to them how far their authorities have tyrannised—galled hasty tempers to madness—or if that can be any excuse afterwards it is never allowed for in the first instance; they spare no expense they send out ships—they scour the seas to lay hold of the offenders—the lapse of years does not wash out the memory of the offence—it is a fresh and vivid crime on the Admiralty books till it is blotted out by blood
Oh papa what have I done And yet it seemed so right at the time Im sure Frederick himself would run the risk
So he would so he should Nay Margaret Im glad it is done though I durst not have done it myself Im thankful it is as it is I should have hesitated till perhaps it might have been too late to do any good Dear Margaret you have done what is right about it and the end is beyond our control
It was all very well but her fathers account of the relentless manner in which mutinies were punished made Margaret shiver and creep If she had decoyed her brother home to blot out the memory of his error by his blood She saw her fathers anxiety lay deeper than the source of his latter cheering words She took his arm and walked home pensively and wearily by his side
CHAPTER XXVI—MOTHER AND SON
I have found that holy place of rest
Still changeless
MRS HEMANS
When Mr Thornton had left the house that morning he was almost blinded by his baffled passion He was as dizzy as if Margaret instead of looking and speaking and moving like a tender graceful woman had been a sturdy fishwife and given him a sound blow with her fists He had positive bodily pain—a violent headache and a throbbing intermittent pulse He could not bear the noise the garish light the continued rumble and movement of the street He called himself a fool for suffering so and yet he could not at the moment recollect the cause of his suffering and whether it was adequate to the consequences it had produced It would have been a relief to him if he could have sat down and cried on a doorstep by a little child who was raging and storming through his passionate tears at some injury he had received He said to himself that he hated Margaret but a wild sharp sensation of love cleft his dull thunderous feeling like lightning even as he shaped the words expressive of hatred His greatest comfort was in hugging his torment and in feeling as he had indeed said to her that though she might despise him contemn him treat him with her proud sovereign indifference he did not change one whit She could not make him change He loved her and would love her and defy her and this miserable bodily pain
He stood still for a moment to make this resolution firm and clear There was an omnibus passing—going into the country the conductor thought he was wishing for a place and stopped near the pavement It was too much trouble to apologise and explain so he mounted upon it and was borne away—past long rows of houses—then past detached villas with trim gardens till they came to real country hedgerows and byandby to a small country town Then everybody got down and so did Mr Thornton and because they walked away he did so too He went into the fields walking briskly because the sharp motion relieved his mind He could remember all about it now the pitiful figure he must have cut the absurd way in which he had gone and done the very thing he had so often agreed with himself in thinking would be the most foolish thing in the world and had met with exactly the consequences which in these wise moods he had always foretold were certain to follow if he ever did make such a fool of himself Was he bewitched by those beautiful eyes that soft halfopen sighing mouth which lay so close upon his shoulder only yesterday He could not even shake off the recollection that she had been there that her arms had been round him once—if never again He only caught glimpses of her he did not understand her altogether At one time she was so brave and at another so timid now so tender and then so haughty and regalproud And then he thought over every time he had ever seen her once again by way of finally forgetting her He saw her in every dress in every mood and did not know which became her best Even this morning how magnificent she had looked—her eyes flashing out upon him at the idea that because she had shared his danger yesterday she had cared for him the least
If Mr Thornton was a fool in the morning as he assured himself at least twenty times he was he did not grow much wiser in the afternoon All that he gained in return for his sixpenny omnibus ride was a more vivid conviction that there never was never could be any one like Margaret that she did not love him and never would but that she—no nor the whole world—should never hinder him from loving her And so he returned to the little marketplace and remounted the omnibus to return to Milton
It was late in the afternoon when he was set down near his warehouse The accustomed places brought back the accustomed habits and trains of thought He knew how much he had to do—more than his usual work owing to the commotion of the day before He had to see his brother magistrates he had to complete the arrangements only half made in the morning for the comfort and safety of his newly imported Irish hands he had to secure them from all chance of communication with the discontented workpeople of Milton Last of all he had to go home and encounter his mother
Mrs Thornton had sat in the diningroom all day every moment expecting the news of her sons acceptance by Miss Hale She had braced herself up many and many a time at some sudden noise in the house had caught up the halfdropped work and begun to ply her needle diligently though through dimmed spectacles and with an unsteady hand and many times had the door opened and some indifferent person entered on some insignificant errand Then her rigid face unstiffened from its gray frostbound expression and the features dropped into the relaxed look of despondency so unusual to their sternness She wrenched herself away from the contemplation of all the dreary changes that would be brought about to herself by her sons marriage she forced her thoughts into the accustomed household grooves The newlymarried coupletobe would need fresh household stocks of linen and Mrs Thornton had clothesbasket upon clothesbasket full of tablecloths and napkins brought in and began to reckon up the store There was some confusion between what was hers and consequently marked G H T for George and Hannah Thornton and what was her sons—bought with his money marked with his initials Some of those marked G H T were Dutch damask of the old kind exquisitely fine none were like them now Mrs Thornton stood looking at them long—they had been her pride when she was first married Then she knit her brows and pinched and compressed her lips tight and carefully unpicked the G H She went so far as to search for the Turkeyred markingthread to put in the new initials but it was all used—and she had no heart to send for any more just yet So she looked fixedly at vacancy a series of visions passing before her in all of which her son was the principal the sole object—her son her pride her property Still he did not come Doubtless he was with Miss Hale The new love was displacing her already from her place as first in his heart A terrible pain—a pang of vain jealousy—shot through her she hardly knew whether it was more physical or mental but it forced her to sit down In a moment she was up again as straight as ever—a grim smile upon her face for the first time that day ready for the door opening and the rejoicing triumphant one who should never know the sore regret his mother felt at his marriage In all this there was little thought enough of the future daughterinlaw as an individual She was to be Johns wife To take Mrs Thorntons place as mistress of the house was only one of the rich consequences which decked out the supreme glory all household plenty and comfort all purple and fine linen honour love obedience troops of friends would all come as naturally as jewels on a kings robe and be as little thought of for their separate value To be chosen by John would separate a kitchenwench from the rest of the world And Miss Hale was not so bad If she had been a Milton lass Mrs Thornton would have positively liked her She was pungent and had taste and spirit and flavour in her True she was sadly prejudiced and very ignorant but that was to be expected from her southern breeding A strange sort of mortified comparison of Fanny with her went on in Mrs Thorntons mind and for once she spoke harshly to her daughter abused her roundly and then as if by way of penance she took up Henrys Commentaries and tried to fix her attention on it instead of pursuing the employment she took pride and pleasure in and continuing her inspection of the tablelinen
_His_ step at last She heard him even while she thought she was finishing a sentence while her eye did pass over it and her memory could mechanically have repeated it word for word she heard him come in at the halldoor Her quickened sense could interpret every sound of motion now he was at the hatstand—now at the very roomdoor Why did he pause Let her know the worst
Yet her head was down over the book she did not look up He came close to the table and stood still there waiting till she should have finished the paragraph which apparently absorbed her By an effort she looked up Well John
He knew what that little speech meant But he had steeled himself He longed to reply with a jest the bitterness of his heart could have uttered one but his mother deserved better of him He came round behind her so that she could not see his looks and bending back her gray stony face he kissed it murmuring
No one loves me—no one cares for me but you mother
He turned away and stood leaning his head against the mantelpiece tears forcing themselves into his manly eyes She stood up—she tottered For the first time in her life the strong woman tottered She put her hands on his shoulders she was a tall woman She looked into his face she made him look at her
Mothers love is given by God John It holds fast for ever and ever A girls love is like a puff of smoke—it changes with every wind And she would not have you my own lad would not she She set her teeth she showed them like a dog for the whole length of her mouth He shook his head
I am not fit for her mother I knew I was not
She ground out words between her closed teeth He could not hear what she said but the look in her eyes interpreted it to be a curse—if not as coarsely worded as fell in intent as ever was uttered And yet her heart leapt up light to know he was her own again
Mother said he hurriedly I cannot hear a word against her Spare me—spare me I am very weak in my sore heart—I love her yet I love her more than ever
And I hate her said Mrs Thornton in a low fierce voice I tried not to hate her when she stood between you and me because—I said to myself—she will make him happy and I would give my hearts blood to do that But now I hate her for your miserys sake Yes John its no use hiding up your aching heart from me I am the mother that bore you and your sorrow is my agony and if you dont hate her I do
Then mother you make me love her more She is unjustly treated by you and I must make the balance even But why do we talk of love or hatred She does not care for me and that is enough—too much Let us never name the subject again It is the only thing you can do for me in the matter Let us never name her
With all my heart I only wish that she and all belonging to her were swept back to the place they came from
He stood still gazing into the fire for a minute or two longer Her dry dim eyes filled with unwonted tears as she looked at him but she seemed just as grim and quiet as usual when he next spoke
Warrants are out against three men for conspiracy mother The riot yesterday helped to knock up the strike
And Margarets name was no more mentioned between Mrs Thornton and her son They fell back into their usual mode of talk—about facts not opinions far less feelings Their voices and tones were calm and cold a stranger might have gone away and thought that he had never seen such frigid indifference of demeanour between such near relations
CHAPTER XXVII—FRUITPIECE
For never any thing can be amiss
When simpleness and duty tender it
MIDSUMMER NIGHTS DREAM
Mr Thornton went straight and clear into all the interests of the following day There was a slight demand for finished goods and as it affected his branch of the trade he took advantage of it and drove hard bargains He was sharp to the hour at the meeting of his brother magistrates—giving them the best assistance of his strong sense and his power of seeing consequences at a glance and so coming to a rapid decision Older men men of long standing in the town men of far greater wealth—realised and turned into land while his was all floating capital engaged in his trade—looked to him for prompt ready wisdom He was the one deputed to see and arrange with the police—to lead in all the requisite steps And he cared for their unconscious deference no more than for the soft west wind that scarcely made the smoke from the great tall chimneys swerve in its straight upward course He was not aware of the silent respect paid to him If it had been otherwise he would have felt it as an obstacle in his progress to the object he had in view As it was he looked to the speedy accomplishment of that alone It was his mothers greedy ears that sucked in from the womenkind of these magistrates and wealthy men how highly Mr This or Mr That thought of Mr Thornton that if he had not been there things would have gone on very differently—very badly indeed He swept off his business right and left that day It seemed as though his deep mortification of yesterday and the stunned purposeless course of the hours afterwards had cleared away all the mists from his intellect He felt his power and revelled in it He could almost defy his heart If he had known it he could have sang the song of the miller who lived by the river Dee—
I care for nobody—
Nobody cares for me
The evidence against Boucher and other ringleaders of the riot was taken before him that against the three others for conspiracy failed But he sternly charged the police to be on the watch for the swift right arm of the law should be in readiness to strike as soon as they could prove a fault And then he left the hot reeking room in the borough court and went out into the fresher but still sultry street It seemed as though he gave way all at once he was so languid that he could not control his thoughts they would wander to her they would bring back the scene—not of his repulse and rejection the day before but the looks the actions of the day before that He went along the crowded streets mechanically winding in and out among the people but never seeing them—almost sick with longing for that one halfhour—that one brief space of time when she clung to him and her heart beat against his—to come once again
Why Mr Thornton youre cutting me very coolly I must say And how is Mrs Thornton Brave weather this We doctors dont like it I can tell you
I beg your pardon Dr Donaldson I really didnt see you My mothers quite well thank you It is a fine day and good for the harvest I hope If the wheat is well got in we shall have a brisk trade next year whatever you doctors have
Ay ay Each man for himself Your bad weather and your bad times are my good ones When trade is bad theres more undermining of health and preparation for death going on among you Milton men than youre aware of
Not with me Doctor Im made of iron The news of the worst bad debt I ever had never made my pulse vary This strike which affects me more than any one else in Milton—more than Hamper—never comes near my appetite You must go elsewhere for a patient Doctor
By the way youve recommended me a good patient poor lady Not to go on talking in this heartless way I seriously believe that Mrs Hale—that lady in Crampton you know—hasnt many weeks to live I never had any hope of cure as I think I told you but Ive been seeing her today and I think very badly of her
Mr Thornton was silent The vaunted steadiness of pulse failed him for an instant
Can I do anything Doctor he asked in an altered voice You know—you would see that money is not very plentiful are there any comforts or dainties she ought to have
No replied the Doctor shaking his head She craves for fruit—she has a constant fever on her but jargonelle pears will do as well as anything and there are quantities of them in the market
You will tell me if there is anything I can do Im sure replied Mr Thornton I rely upon you
Oh never fear Ill not spare your purse—I know its deep enough I wish youd give me carteblanche for all my patients and all their wants
But Mr Thornton had no general benevolence—no universal philanthropy few even would have given him credit for strong affections But he went straight to the first fruitshop in Milton and chose out the bunch of purple grapes with the most delicate bloom upon them—the richestcoloured peaches—the freshest vineleaves They were packed into a basket and the shopman awaited the answer to his inquiry Where shall we send them to sir
There was no reply To Marlborough Mills I suppose sir
No Mr Thornton said Give the basket to me—Ill take it
It took up both his hands to carry it and he had to pass through the busiest part of the town for feminine shopping Many a young lady of his acquaintance turned to look after him and thought it strange to see him occupied just like a porter or an errandboy
He was thinking I will not be daunted from doing as I choose by the thought of her I like to take this fruit to the poor mother and it is simply right that I should She shall never scorn me out of doing what I please A pretty joke indeed if for fear of a haughty girl I failed in doing a kindness to a man I liked I do it for Mr Hale I do it in defiance of her
He went at an unusual pace and was soon at Crampton He went upstairs two steps at a time and entered the drawingroom before Dixon could announce him—his face flushed his eyes shining with kindly earnestness Mrs Hale lay on the sofa heated with fever Mr Hale was reading aloud Margaret was working on a low stool by her mothers side Her heart fluttered if his did not at this interview But he took no notice of her hardly of Mr Hale himself he went up straight with his basket to Mrs Hale and said in that subdued and gentle tone which is so touching when used by a robust man in full health speaking to a feeble invalid—
I met Dr Donaldson maam and as he said fruit would be good for you I have taken the liberty—the great liberty of bringing you some that seemed to me fine Mrs Hale was excessively surprised excessively pleased quite in a tremble of eagerness Mr Hale with fewer words expressed a deeper gratitude
Fetch a plate Margaret—a basket—anything Margaret stood up by the table half afraid of moving or making any noise to arouse Mr Thornton into a consciousness of her being in the room She thought it would be awkward for both to be brought into conscious collision and fancied that from her being on a low seat at first and now standing behind her father he had overlooked her in his haste As if he did not feel the consciousness of her presence all over though his eyes had never rested on her
I must go said he I cannot stay If you will forgive this liberty—my rough ways—too abrupt I fear—but I will be more gentle next time You will allow me the pleasure of bringing you some fruit again if I should see any that is tempting Good afternoon Mr Hale Goodbye maam
He was gone Not one word not one look to Margaret She believed that he had not seen her She went for a plate in silence and lifted the fruit out tenderly with the points of her delicate taper fingers It was good of him to bring it and after yesterday too
Oh it is so delicious said Mrs Hale in a feeble voice How kind of him to think of me Margaret love only taste these grapes Was it not good of him
Yes said Margaret quietly
Margaret said Mrs Hale rather querulously you wont like anything Mr Thornton does I never saw anybody so prejudiced
Mr Hale had been peeling a peach for his wife and cutting off a small piece for himself he said
If I had any prejudices the gift of such delicious fruit as this would melt them all away I have not tasted such fruit—no not even in Hampshire—since I was a boy and to boys I fancy all fruit is good I remember eating sloes and crabs with a relish Do you remember the mattedup currant bushes Margaret at the corner of the westwall in the garden at home
Did she not Did she not remember every weatherstain on the old stone wall the gray and yellow lichens that marked it like a map the little cranesbill that grew in the crevices She had been shaken by the events of the last two days her whole life just now was a strain upon her fortitude and somehow these careless words of her fathers touching on the remembrance of the sunny times of old made her start up and dropping her sewing on the ground she went hastily out of the room into her own little chamber She had hardly given way to the first choking sob when she became aware of Dixon standing at her drawers and evidently searching for something
Bless me miss How you startled me Missus is not worse is she Is anything the matter
No nothing Only Im silly Dixon and want a glass of water What are you looking for I keep my muslins in that drawer
Dixon did not speak but went on rummaging The scent of lavender came out and perfumed the room
At last Dixon found what she wanted what it was Margaret could not see Dixon faced round and spoke to her
Now I dont like telling you what I wanted because youve fretting enough to go through and I know youll fret about this I meant to have kept it from you till night may be or such times as that
What is the matter Pray tell me Dixon at once
That young woman you go to see—Higgins I mean
Well
Well she died this morning and her sister is here—come to beg a strange thing It seems the young woman who died had a fancy for being buried in something of yours and so the sisters come to ask for it—and I was looking for a nightcap that wasnt too good to give away
Oh let me find one said Margaret in the midst of her tears Poor Bessy I never thought I should not see her again
Why thats another thing This girl downstairs wanted me to ask you if you would like to see her
But shes dead said Margaret turning a little pale I never saw a dead person No I would rather not
I should never have asked you if you hadnt come in I told her you wouldnt
I will go down and speak to her said Margaret afraid lest Dixons harshness of manner might wound the poor girl So taking the cap in her hand she went to the kitchen Marys face was all swollen with crying and she burst out afresh when she saw Margaret
Oh maam she loved yo she loved yo she did indeed And for a long time Margaret could not get her to say anything more than this At last her sympathy and Dixons scolding forced out a few facts Nicholas Higgins had gone out in the morning leaving Bessy as well as on the day before But in an hour she was taken worse some neighbour ran to the room where Mary was working they did not know where to find her father Mary had only come in a few minutes before she died
It were a day or two ago she axed to be buried in somewhat o yourn She were never tired o talking o yo She used to say yo were the prettiest thing shed ever clapped eyes on She loved yo dearly Her last words were Give her my affectionate respects and keep father fro drink Yoll come and see her maam She would ha thought it a great compliment I know
Margaret shrank a little from answering
Yes perhaps I may Yes I will Ill come before tea But wheres your father Mary
Mary shook her head and stood up to be going
Miss Hale said Dixon in a low voice wheres the use o your going to see the poor thing laid out Id never say a word against it if it could do the girl any good and I wouldnt mind a bit going myself if that would satisfy her Theyve just a notion these common folks of its being a respect to the departed Here said she turning sharply round Ill come and see your sister Miss Hale is busy and she cant come or else she would
The girl looked wistfully at Margaret Dixons coming might be a compliment but it was not the same thing to the poor sister who had had her little pangs of jealousy during Bessys lifetime at the intimacy between her and the young lady
No Dixon said Margaret with decision I will go Mary you shall see me this afternoon And for fear of her own cowardice she went away in order to take from herself any chance of changing her determination
CHAPTER XXVIII—COMFORT IN SORROW
Through cross to crown—And though thy spirits life
Trials untold assail with giant strength
Good cheer good cheer Soon ends the bitter strife
And thou shalt reign in peace with Christ at length
KOSEGARTEN
Ay sooth we feel too strong in weal to need Thee on that road
But woe being come the soul is dumb that crieth not on God
MRS BROWNING
That afternoon she walked swiftly to the Higginss house Mary was looking out for her with a halfdistrustful face Margaret smiled into her eyes to reassure her They passed quickly through the houseplace upstairs and into the quiet presence of the dead Then Margaret was glad that she had come The face often so weary with pain so restless with troublous thoughts had now the faint soft smile of eternal rest upon it The slow tears gathered into Margarets eyes but a deep calm entered into her soul And that was death It looked more peaceful than life All beautiful scriptures came into her mind They rest from their labours The weary are at rest He giveth His beloved sleep
Slowly slowly Margaret turned away from the bed Mary was humbly sobbing in the background They went downstairs without a word
Resting his hand upon the housetable Nicholas Higgins stood in the midst of the floor his great eyes startled open by the news he had heard as he came along the court from many busy tongues His eyes were dry and fierce studying the reality of her death bringing himself to understand that her place should know her no more For she had been sickly dying so long that he had persuaded himself she would not die that she would pull through
Margaret felt as if she had no business to be there familiarly acquainting herself with the surroundings of death which he the father had only just learnt There had been a pause of an instant on the steep crooked stair when she first saw him but now she tried to steal past his abstracted gaze and to leave him in the solemn circle of his household misery
Mary sat down on the first chair she came to and throwing her apron over her head began to cry
The noise appeared to rouse him He took sudden hold of Margarets arm and held her till he could gather words to speak seemed dry they came up thick and choked and hoarse
Were yo with her Did yo see her die
No replied Margaret standing still with the utmost patience now she found herself perceived It was some time before he spoke again but he kept his hold on her arm
All men must die said he at last with a strange sort of gravity which first suggested to Margaret the idea that he had been drinking—not enough to intoxicate himself but enough to make his thoughts bewildered But she were younger than me Still he pondered over the event not looking at Margaret though he grasped her tight Suddenly he looked up at her with a wild searching inquiry in his glance Yore sure and certain shes dead—not in a dwam a faint—shes been so before often
She is dead replied Margaret She felt no fear in speaking to him though he hurt her arm with his gripe and wild gleams came across the stupidity of his eyes
She is dead she said
He looked at her still with that searching look which seemed to fade out of his eyes as he gazed Then he suddenly let go his hold of Margaret and throwing his body half across the table he shook it and every piece of furniture in the room with his violent sobs Mary came trembling towards him
Get thee gone—get thee gone he cried striking wildly and blindly at her What do I care for thee Margaret took her hand and held it softly in hers He tore his hair he beat his head against the hard wood then he lay exhausted and stupid Still his daughter and Margaret did not move Mary trembled from head to foot
At last—it might have been a quarter of an hour it might have been an hour—he lifted himself up His eyes were swollen and bloodshot and he seemed to have forgotten that any one was by he scowled at the watchers when he saw them He shook himself heavily gave them one more sullen look spoke never a word but made for the door
Oh father father said Mary throwing herself upon his arm—not tonight Any night but tonight Oh help me hes going out to drink again Father Ill not leave yo Yo may strike but Ill not leave yo She told me last of all to keep yo fro drink
But Margaret stood in the doorway silent yet commanding He looked up at her defyingly
Its my own house Stand out o the way wench or Ill make yo He had shaken off Mary with violence he looked ready to strike Margaret But she never moved a feature—never took her deep serious eyes off him He stared back on her with gloomy fierceness If she had stirred hand or foot he would have thrust her aside with even more violence than he had used to his own daughter whose face was bleeding from her fall against a chair
What are yo looking at me in that way for asked he at last daunted and awed by her severe calm If yo think for to keep me from going what gait I choose because she loved yo—and in my own house too where I never asked yo to come yore mistaen Its very hard upon a man that he cant go to the only comfort left
Margaret felt that he acknowledged her power What could she do next He had seated himself on a chair close to the door halfconquered halfresenting intending to go out as soon as she left her position but unwilling to use the violence he had threatened not five minutes before Margaret laid her hand on his arm
Come with me she said Come and see her
The voice in which she spoke was very low and solemn but there was no fear or doubt expressed in it either of him or of his compliance He sullenly rose up He stood uncertain with dogged irresolution upon his face She waited him there quietly and patiently waited for his time to move He had a strange pleasure in making her wait but at last he moved towards the stairs
She and he stood by the corpse
Her last words to Mary were Keep my father fro drink
It canna hurt her now muttered he Nought can hurt her now Then raising his voice to a wailing cry he went on We may quarrel and fall out—we may make peace and be friends—we may clem to skin and bone—and nought o all our griefs will ever touch her more Hoos had her portion on em What wi hard work first and sickness at last hoos led the life of a dog And to die without knowing one good piece o rejoicing in all her days Nay wench whatever hoo said hoo can know nought about it now and I mun ha a sup o drink just to steady me again sorrow
No said Margaret softening with his softened manner You shall not If her life has been what you say at any rate she did not fear death as some do Oh you should have heard her speak of the life to come—the life hidden with God that she is now gone to
He shook his head glancing sideways up at Margaret as he did so His pale haggard face struck her painfully
You are sorely tired Where have you been all day—not at work
Not at work sure enough said he with a short grim laugh Not at what you call work I were at the Committee till I were sickened out wi trying to make fools hear reason I were fetched to Bouchers wife afore seven this morning Shes bedfast but she were raving and raging to know where her dunderheaded brute of a chap was as if Id to keep him—as if he were fit to be ruled by me The d—— d fool who has put his foot in all our plans And Ive walked my feet sore wi going about for to see men who wouldnt be seen now the law is raised again us And I were sorehearted too which is worse than sorefooted and if I did see a friend who ossed to treat me I never knew hoo lay adying here Bess lass thoud believe me thou wouldst—wouldstnt thou turning to the poor dumb form with wild appeal
I am sure said Margaret I am sure you did not know it was quite sudden But now you see it would be different you do know you do see her lying there you hear what she said with her last breath You will not go
No answer In fact where was he to look for comfort
Come home with me said she at last with a bold venture half trembling at her own proposal as she made it At least you shall have some comfortable food which Im sure you need
Yor fathers a parson asked he with a sudden turn in his ideas
He was said Margaret shortly
Ill go and take a dish o tea with him since yove asked me Ive many a thing I often wished to say to a parson and Im not particular as to whether hes preaching now or not
Margaret was perplexed his drinking tea with her father who would be totally unprepared for his visitor—her mother so ill—seemed utterly out of the question and yet if she drew back now it would be worse than ever—sure to drive him to the ginshop She thought that if she could only get him to their own house it was so great a step gained that she would trust to the chapter of accidents for the next
Goodbye oud wench Weve parted company at last we have But thoust been a blessin to thy father ever sin thou wert born Bless thy white lips lass—theyve a smile on em now and Im glad to see it once again though Im lone and forlorn for evermore
He stooped down and fondly kissed his daughter covered up her face and turned to follow Margaret She had hastily gone downstairs to tell Mary of the arrangement to say it was the only way she could think of to keep him from the ginpalace to urge Mary to come too for her heart smote her at the idea of leaving the poor affectionate girl alone But Mary had friends among the neighbours she said who would come in and sit a bit with her it was all right but father—
He was there by them as she would have spoken more He had shaken off his emotion as if he was ashamed of having ever given way to it and had even oerleaped himself so much that he assumed a sort of bitter mirth like the crackling of thorns under a pot
Im going to take my tea wi her father I am
But he slouched his cap low down over his brow as he went out into the street and looked neither to the right nor to the left while he tramped along by Margarets side he feared being upset by the words still more the looks of sympathising neighbours So he and Margaret walked in silence
As he got near the street in which he knew she lived he looked down at his clothes his hands and shoes
I should mappen ha cleaned mysel first
It certainly would have been desirable but Margaret assured him he should be allowed to go into the yard and have soap and towel provided she could not let him slip out of her hands just then
While he followed the houseservant along the passage and through the kitchen stepping cautiously on every dark mark in the pattern of the oilcloth in order to conceal his dirty footprints Margaret ran upstairs She met Dixon on the landing
How is mamma—where is papa
Missus was tired and gone into her own room She had wanted to go to bed but Dixon had persuaded her to lie down on the sofa and have her tea brought to her there it would be better than getting restless by being too long in bed
So far so good But where was Mr Hale In the drawingroom Margaret went in half breathless with the hurried story she had to tell Of course she told it incompletely and her father was rather taken aback by the idea of the drunken weaver awaiting him in his quiet study with whom he was expected to drink tea and on whose behalf Margaret was anxiously pleading The meek kindhearted Mr Hale would have readily tried to console him in his grief but unluckily the point Margaret dwelt upon most forcibly was the fact of his having been drinking and her having brought him home with her as a last expedient to keep him from the ginshop One little event had come out of another so naturally that Margaret was hardly conscious of what she had done till she saw the slight look of repugnance on her fathers face
Oh papa he really is a man you will not dislike—if you wont be shocked to begin with
But Margaret to bring a drunken man home—and your mother so ill
Margarets countenance fell I am sorry papa He is very quiet—he is not tipsy at all He was only rather strange at first but that might be the shock of poor Bessys death Margarets eyes filled with tears Mr Hale took hold of her sweet pleading face in both his hands and kissed her forehead
It is all right dear Ill go and make him as comfortable as I can and do you attend to your mother Only if you can come in and make a third in the study I shall be glad
Oh yes—thank you But as Mr Hale was leaving the room she ran after him
Papa—you must not wonder at what he says hes an—— I mean he does not believe in much of what we do
Oh dear a drunken infidel weaver said Mr Hale to himself in dismay But to Margaret he only said If your mother goes to sleep be sure you come directly
Margaret went into her mothers room Mrs Hale lifted herself up from a doze
When did you write to Frederick Margaret Yesterday or the day before
Yesterday mamma
Yesterday And the letter went
Yes I took it myself
Oh Margaret Im so afraid of his coming If he should be recognised If he should be taken If he should be executed after all these years that he has kept away and lived in safety I keep falling asleep and dreaming that he is caught and being tried
Oh mamma dont be afraid There will be some risk no doubt but we will lessen it as much as ever we can And it is so little Now if we were at Helstone there would be twenty—a hundred times as much There everybody would remember him and if there was a stranger known to be in the house they would be sure to guess it was Frederick while here nobody knows or cares for us enough to notice what we do Dixon will keep the door like a dragon—wont you Dixon—while he is here
Theyll be clever if they come in past me said Dixon showing her teeth at the bare idea
And he need not go out except in the dusk poor fellow
Poor fellow echoed Mrs Hale But I almost wish you had not written Would it be too late to stop him if you wrote again Margaret
Im afraid it would mamma said Margaret remembering the urgency with which she had entreated him to come directly if he wished to see his mother alive
I always dislike that doing things in such a hurry said Mrs Hale
Margaret was silent
Come now maam said Dixon with a kind of cheerful authority you know seeing Master Frederick is just the very thing of all others youre longing for And Im glad Miss Margaret wrote off straight without shillyshallying Ive had a great mind to do it myself And well keep him snug depend upon it Theres only Martha in the house that would not do a good deal to save him on a pinch and Ive been thinking she might go and see her mother just at that very time Shes been saying once or twice she should like to go for her mother has had a stroke since she came here only she didnt like to ask But Ill see about her being safe off as soon as we know when he comes God bless him So take your tea maam in comfort and trust to me
Mrs Hale did trust in Dixon more than in Margaret Dixons words quieted her for the time Margaret poured out the tea in silence trying to think of something agreeable to say but her thoughts made answer something like Daniel ORourke when the maninthemoon asked him to get off his reapinghook The more you ax us the more we wont stir The more she tried to think of something anything besides the danger to which Frederick would be exposed—the more closely her imagination clung to the unfortunate idea presented to her Her mother prattled with Dixon and seemed to have utterly forgotten the possibility of Frederick being tried and executed—utterly forgotten that at her wish if by Margarets deed he was summoned into this danger Her mother was one of those who throw out terrible possibilities miserable probabilities unfortunate chances of all kinds as a rocket throws out sparks but if the sparks light on some combustible matter they smoulder first and burst out into a frightful flame at last Margaret was glad when her filial duties gently and carefully performed she could go down into the study She wondered how her father and Higgins had got on
In the first place the decorous kindhearted simple oldfashioned gentleman had unconsciously called out by his own refinement and courteousness of manner all the latent courtesy in the other
Mr Hale treated all his fellowcreatures alike it never entered into his head to make any difference because of their rank He placed a chair for Nicholas stood up till he at Mr Hales request took a seat and called him invariably Mr Higgins instead of the curt Nicholas or Higgins to which the drunken infidel weaver had been accustomed But Nicholas was neither an habitual drunkard nor a thorough infidel He drank to drown care as he would have himself expressed it and he was infidel so far as he had never yet found any form of faith to which he could attach himself heart and soul
Margaret was a little surprised and very much pleased when she found her father and Higgins in earnest conversation—each speaking with gentle politeness to the other however their opinions might clash Nicholas—clean tidied if only at the pumptrough and quiet spoken—was a new creature to her who had only seen him in the rough independence of his own hearthstone He had slicked his hair down with the fresh water he had adjusted his neckhandkerchief and borrowed an odd candleend to polish his clogs with and there he sat enforcing some opinion on her father with a strong Darkshire accent it is true but with a lowered voice and a good earnest composure on his face Her father too was interested in what his companion was saying He looked round as she came in smiled and quietly gave her his chair and then sat down afresh as quickly as possible and with a little bow of apology to his guest for the interruption Higgins nodded to her as a sign of greeting and she softly adjusted her working materials on the table and prepared to listen
As I was asayin sir I reckon yod not ha much belief in yo if yo lived here—if yod been bred here I ax your pardon if I use wrong words but what I mean by belief just now is athinking on sayings and maxims and promises made by folk yo never saw about the things and the life yo never saw nor no one else Now yo say these are true things and true sayings and a true life I just say wheres the proof Theres many and many a one wiser and scores better learned than I am around me—folk whove had time to think on these things—while my time has had to be gien up to getting my bread Well I sees these people Their lives is pretty much open to me Theyre real folk They dont believe i the Bible—not they They may say they do for forms sake but Lord sir dye think their first cry i th morning is What shall I do to get hold on eternal life or What shall I do to fill my purse this blessed day Where shall I go What bargains shall I strike The purse and the gold and the notes is real things things as can be felt and touched thems realities and eternal life is all a talk very fit for—I ax your pardon sir yor a parson out o work I believe Well Ill never speak disrespectful of a man in the same fix as Im in mysel But Ill just ax yo another question sir and I dunnot want yo to answer it only to put in yor pipe and smoke it afore yo go for to set down us who only believe in what we see as fools and noddies If salvation and life to come and what not was true—not in mens words but in mens hearts core—dun yo not think theyd din us wi it as they do wi political conomy Theyre mighty anxious to come round us wi that piece o wisdom but tother would be a greater convarsion if it were true
But the masters have nothing to do with your religion All that they are connected with you in is trade—so they think—and all that it concerns them therefore to rectify your opinions in is the science of trade
Im glad sir said Higgins with a curious wink of his eye that yo put in so they think Id ha thought yo a hypocrite Im afeard if yo hadnt for all yor a parson or rayther because yor a parson Yo see if yod spoken o religion as a thing that if it was true it didnt concern all men to press on all mens attention above everything else in this varsal earth I should ha thought yo a knave for to be a parson and Id rather think yo a fool than a knave No offence I hope sir
None at all You consider me mistaken and I consider you far more fatally mistaken I dont expect to convince you in a day—not in one conversation but let us know each other and speak freely to each other about these things and the truth will prevail I should not believe in God if I did not believe that Mr Higgins I trust whatever else you have given up you believe—Mr Hales voice dropped low in reverence—you believe in Him
Nicholas Higgins suddenly stood straight stiff up Margaret started to her feet—for she thought by the working of his face he was going into convulsions Mr Hale looked at her dismayed At last Higgins found words
Man I could fell yo to the ground for tempting me Whatten business have yo to try me wi your doubts Think o her lying theere after the life hoos led and think then how yod deny me the one sole comfort left—that there is a God and that He set her her life I dunnot believe shell ever live again said he sitting down and drearily going on as if to the unsympathising fire I dunnot believe in any other life than this in which she dreed such trouble and had such neverending care and I cannot bear to think it were all a set o chances that might ha been altered wi a breath o wind Theres many a time when Ive thought I didna believe in God but Ive never put it fair out before me in words as many men do I may ha laughed at those who did to brave it out like—but I have looked round at after to see if He heard me if so be there was a He but today when Im left desolate I wunnot listen to yo wi yor questions and yor doubts Theres but one thing steady and quiet i all this reeling world and reason or no reason Ill cling to that Its a very well for happy folk——
Margaret touched his arm very softly She had not spoken before nor had he heard her rise
Nicholas we do not want to reason you misunderstand my father We do not reason—we believe and so do you It is the one sole comfort in such times
He turned round and caught her hand Ay it is it is—brushing away the tears with the back of his hand—But yo know shes lying dead at home and Im welly dazed wi sorrow and at times I hardly know what Im saying Its as if speeches folk ha made—clever and smart things as Ive thought at the time—come up now my hearts welly brossen Th strikes failed as well dun yo know that miss I were coming whoam to ask her like a beggar as I am for a bit o comfort i that trouble and I were knocked down by one who telled me she were dead—just dead That were all but that were enough for me
Mr Hale blew his nose and got up to snuff the candles in order to conceal his emotion Hes not an infidel Margaret how could you say so muttered he reproachfully Ive a good mind to read him the fourteenth chapter of Job
Not yet papa I think Perhaps not at all Let us ask him about the strike and give him all the sympathy he needs and hoped to have from poor Bessy
So they questioned and listened The workmens calculations were based like too many of the masters on false premises They reckoned on their fellowmen as if they possessed the calculable powers of machines no more no less no allowance for human passions getting the better of reason as in the case of Boucher and the rioters and believing that the representations of their injuries would have the same effect on strangers far away as the injuries fancied or real had upon themselves They were consequently surprised and indignant at the poor Irish who had allowed themselves to be imported and brought over to take their places This indignation was tempered in some degree by contempt for them Irishers and by pleasure at the idea of the bungling way in which they would set to work and perplex their new masters with their ignorance and stupidity strange exaggerated stories of which were already spreading through the town But the most cruel cut of all was that of the Milton workmen who had defied and disobeyed the commands of the Union to keep the peace whatever came who had originated discord in the camp and spread the panic of the law being arrayed against them
And so the strike is at an end said Margaret
Ay miss Its save as save can Th factory doors will need open wide tomorrow to let in all wholl be axing for work if its only just to show theyd nought to do wi a measure which if wed been made o th right stuff would ha brought wages up to a point theyn not been at this ten year
Youll get work shant you asked Margaret Youre a famous workman are not you
Hamperll let me work at his mill when he cuts off his right hand—not before and not after said Nicholas quietly Margaret was silenced and sad
About the wages said Mr Hale Youll not be offended but I think you make some sad mistakes I should like to read you some remarks in a book I have He got up and went to his bookshelves
Yo neednt trouble yoursel sir said Nicholas Their bookstuff goes in at one ear and out at tother I can make nought ont Afore Hamper and me had this split th overlooker telled him I were stirring up the men to ask for higher wages and Hamper met me one day in th yard Hed a thin book i his hand and says he Higgins Im told youre one of those damned fools that think you can get higher wages for asking for em ay and keep em up too when youve forced em up Now Ill give yo a chance and try if yove any sense in yo Heres a book written by a friend o mine and if yoll read it yoll see how wages find their own level without either masters or men having aught to do with them except the men cut their own throats wi striking like the confounded noodles they are Well now sir I put it to yo being a parson and having been in th preaching line and having had to try and bring folk oer to what yo thought was a right way o thinking—did yo begin by calling em fools and such like or didnt yo rayther give em some kind words at first to make em ready for to listen and be convinced if they could and in yor preaching did yo stop every now and then and say half to them and half to yorsel But yore such a pack o fools that Ive a strong notion its no use my trying to put sense into yo I were not i th best state Ill own for taking in what Hampers friend had to say—I were so vexed at the way it were put to me—but I thought Come Ill see what these chaps has got to say and try if its them or me as is th noodle So I took th book and tugged at it but Lord bless yo it went on about capital and labour and labour and capital till it fair sent me off to sleep I neer could rightly fix i my mind which was which and it spoke on em as if they was vartues or vices and what I wanted for to know were the rights o men whether they were rich or poor—so be they only were men
But for all that said Mr Hale and granting to the full the offensiveness the folly the unchristianness of Mr Hampers way of speaking to you in recommending his friends book yet if it told you what he said it did that wages find their own level and that the most successful strike can only force them up for a moment to sink in far greater proportion afterwards in consequence of that very strike the book would have told you the truth
Well sir said Higgins rather doggedly it might or it might not Theres two opinions go to settling that point But suppose it was truth double strong it were no truth to me if I couldna take it in I daresay theres truth in yon Latin book on your shelves but its gibberish and not truth to me unless I know the meaning o the words If yo sir or any other knowledgable patient man come to me and says hell larn me what the words mean and not blow me up if Im a bit stupid or forget how one thing hangs on another—why in time I may get to see the truth of it or I may not Ill not be bound to say I shall end in thinking the same as any man And Im not one who think truth can be shaped out in words all neat and clean as th men at th foundry cut out sheetiron Same bones wont go down wi every one Itll stick here i this mans throat and there i tothers Let alone that when down it may be too strong for this one too weak for that Folk who sets up to doctor th world wi their truth mun suit different for different minds and be a bit tender in th way of giving it too or th poor sick fools may spit it out i their faces Now Hamper first gies me a box on my ear and then he throws his big bolus at me and says he reckons itll do me no good Im such a fool but there it is
I wish some of the kindest and wisest of the masters would meet some of you men and have a good talk on these things it would surely be the best way of getting over your difficulties which I do believe arise from your ignorance—excuse me Mr Higgins—on subjects which it is for the mutual interest of both masters and men should be well understood by both I wonder—half to his daughter if Mr Thornton might not be induced to do such a thing
Remember papa said she in a very low voice what he said one day—about governments you know She was unwilling to make any clearer allusion to the conversation they had held on the mode of governing workpeople—by giving men intelligence enough to rule themselves or by a wise despotism on the part of the master—for she saw that Higgins had caught Mr Thorntons name if not the whole of the speech indeed he began to speak of him
Thornton Hes the chap as wrote off at once for these Irishers and led to th riot that ruined th strike Even Hamper wi all his bullying would ha waited a while—but its a word and a blow wi Thornton And now when th Union would ha thanked him for following up th chase after Boucher and them chaps as went right again our commands its Thornton who steps forrard and coolly says that as th strikes at an end he as party injured doesnt want to press the charge again the rioters I thought hed had more pluck I thought hed ha carried his point and had his revenge in an open way but says he one in court telled me his very words they are well known they will find the natural punishment of their conduct in the difficulty they will meet wi in getting employment That will be severe enough I only wish theyd cotched Boucher and had him up before Hamper I see th oud tiger setting on him would he ha let him off Not he
Mr Thornton was right said Margaret You are angry against Boucher Nicholas or else you would be the first to see that where the natural punishment would be severe enough for the offence any farther punishment would be something like revenge
My daughter is no great friend of Mr Thorntons said Mr Hale smiling at Margaret while she as red as any carnation began to work with double diligence but I believe what she says is the truth I like him for it
Well sir this strike has been a weary piece o business to me and yoll not wonder if Im a bit put out wi seeing it fail just for a few men who would na suffer in silence and houd out brave and firm
You forget said Margaret I dont know much of Boucher but the only time I saw him it was not his own sufferings he spoke of but those of his sick wife—his little children
True but he were not made of iron himsel Hed ha cried out for his own sorrows next He were not one to bear
How came he into the Union asked Margaret innocently You dont seem to have much respect for him nor gained much good from having him in
Higginss brow clouded He was silent for a minute or two Then he said shortly enough
Its not for me to speak o th Union What they does they does Them that is of a trade mun hang together and if theyre not willing to take their chance along wi th rest th Union has ways and means
Mr Hale saw that Higgins was vexed at the turn the conversation had taken and was silent Not so Margaret though she saw Higginss feeling as clearly as he did By instinct she felt that if he could but be brought to express himself in plain words something clear would be gained on which to argue for the right and the just
And what are the Unions ways and means
He looked up at her as if on the point of dogged resistance to her wish for information But her calm face fixed on his patient and trustful compelled him to answer
Well If a man doesnt belong to th Union them as works next looms has orders not to speak to him—if hes sorry or ill its a the same hes out o bounds hes none o us he comes among us he works among us but hes none o us I some places thems fined who speaks to him Yo try that miss try living a year or two among them as looks away if yo look at em try working within two yards o crowds o men who yo know have a grinding grudge at yo in their hearts—to whom if yo say yor glad not an eye brightens nor a lip moves—to whom if your hearts heavy yo can never say nought because theyll neer take notice on your sighs or sad looks and a man s no man wholl groan out loud bout folk asking him what s the matter—just yo try that miss—ten hours for three hundred days and yoll know a bit what th Union is
Why said Margaret what tyranny this is Nay Higgins I dont care one straw for your anger I know you cant be angry with me if you would and I must tell you the truth that I never read in all the history I have read of a more slow lingering torture than this And you belong to the Union And you talk of the tyranny of the masters
Nay said Higgins yo may say what yo like The dead stand between yo and every angry word o mine D ye think I forget whos lying _there_ and how hoo loved yo And its th masters as has made us sin if th Union is a sin Not this generation maybe but their fathers Their fathers ground our fathers to the very dust ground us to powder Parson I reckon Ive heerd my mother read out a text The fathers have eaten sour grapes and th childrens teeth are set on edge Its so wi them In those days of sore oppression th Unions began it were a necessity Its a necessity now according to me Its a withstanding of injustice past present or to come It may be like war along wi it come crimes but I think it were a greater crime to let it alone Our only chance is binding men together in one common interest and if some are cowards and some are fools they mun come along and join the great march whose only strength is in numbers
Oh said Mr Hale sighing your Union in itself would be beautiful glorious—it would be Christianity itself—if it were but for an end which affected the good of all instead of that of merely one class as opposed to another
I reckon its time for me to be going sir said Higgins as the clock struck ten
Home said Margaret very softly He understood her and took her offered hand Home miss Yo may trust me tho I am one o th Union
I do trust you most thoroughly Nicholas
Stay said Mr Hale hurrying to the bookshelves Mr Higgins Im sure youll join us in family prayer
Higgins looked at Margaret doubtfully Her grave sweet eyes met his there was no compulsion only deep interest in them He did not speak but he kept his place
Margaret the Churchwoman her father the Dissenter Higgins the Infidel knelt down together It did them no harm
CHAPTER XXIX—A RAY OF SUNSHINE
Some wishes crossed my mind and dimly cheered it
And one or two poor melancholy pleasures
Each in the pale unwarming light of hope
Silvering its flimsy wing flew silent by—
Moths in the moonbeam
COLERIDGE
The next morning brought Margaret a letter from Edith It was affectionate and inconsequent like the writer But the affection was charming to Margarets own affectionate nature and she had grown up with the inconsequence so she did not perceive it It was as follows—
Oh Margaret it is worth a journey from England to see my boy He is a superb little fellow especially in his caps and most especially in the one you sent him you good daintyfingered persevering little lady Having made all the mothers here envious I want to show him to somebody new and hear a fresh set of admiring expressions perhaps thats all the reason perhaps it is not—nay possibly there is just a little cousinly love mixed with it but I do want you so much to come here Margaret Im sure it would be the very best thing for Aunt Hales health everybody here is young and well and our skies are always blue and our sun always shines and the band plays deliciously from morning till night and to come back to the burden of my ditty my baby always smiles I am constantly wanting you to draw him for me Margaret It does not signify what he is doing that very thing is prettiest gracefulest best I think I love him a great deal better than my husband who is getting stout and grumpy—what he calls busy No he is not He has just come in with news of such a charming picnic given by the officers of the Hazard at anchor in the bay below Because he has brought in such a pleasant piece of news I retract all I said just now Did not somebody burn his hand for having said or done something he was sorry for Well I cant burn mine because it would hurt me and the scar would be ugly but Ill retract all I said as fast as I can Cosmo is quite as great a darling as baby and not a bit stout and as ungrumpy as ever husband was only sometimes he is very very busy I may say that without love—wifely duty—where was I—I had something very particular to say I know once Oh it is this—Dearest Margaret—you must come and see me it would do Aunt Hale good as I said before Get the doctor to order it for her Tell him that its the smoke of Milton that does her harm I have no doubt it is that really Three months you must not come for less of this delicious climate—all sunshine and grapes as common as blackberries would quite cure her I dont ask my uncle—Here the letter became more constrained and better written Mr Hale was in the corner like a naughty child for having given up his living—because I dare say he disapproves of war and soldiers and bands of music at least I know that many Dissenters are members of the Peace Society and I am afraid he would not like to come but if he would dear pray say that Cosmo and I will do our best to make him happy and Ill hide up Cosmos red coat and sword and make the band play all sorts of grave solemn things or if they do play pomps and vanities it shall be in double slow time Dear Margaret if he would like to accompany you and Aunt Hale we will try and make it pleasant though Im rather afraid of any one who has done something for conscience sake You never did I hope Tell Aunt Hale not to bring many warm clothes though Im afraid it will be late in the year before you can come But you have no idea of the heat here I tried to wear my great beauty Indian shawl at a picnic I kept myself up with proverbs as long as I could Pride must abide—and such wholesome pieces of pith but it was of no use I was like mammas little dog Tiny with an elephants trappings on smothered hidden killed with my finery so I made it into a capital carpet for us all to sit down upon Heres this boy of mine Margaret—if you dont pack up your things as soon as you get this letter a come straight off to see him I shall think youre descended from King Herod
Margaret did long for a day of Ediths life—her freedom from care her cheerful home her sunny skies If a wish could have transported her she would have gone off just for one day She yearned for the strength which such a change would give—even for a few hours to be in the midst of that bright life and to feel young again Not yet twenty and she had had to bear up against such hard pressure that she felt quite old That was her first feeling after reading Ediths letter Then she read it again and forgetting herself was amused at its likeness to Ediths self and was laughing merrily over it when Mrs Hale came into the drawingroom leaning on Dixons arm Margaret flew to adjust the pillows Her mother seemed more than usually feeble
What were you laughing at Margaret asked she as soon as she had recovered from the exertion of settling herself on the sofa
A letter I have had this morning from Edith Shall I read it you mamma
She read it aloud and for a time it seemed to interest her mother who kept wondering what name Edith had given to her boy and suggesting all probable names and all possible reasons why each and all of these names should be given Into the very midst of these wonders Mr Thornton came bringing another offering of fruit for Mrs Hale He could not—say rather he would not—deny himself the chance of the pleasure of seeing Margaret He had no end in this but the present gratification It was the sturdy wilfulness of a man usually most reasonable and selfcontrolled He entered the room taking in at a glance the fact of Margarets presence but after the first cold distant bow he never seemed to let his eyes fall on her again He only stayed to present his peaches—to speak some gentle kindly words—and then his cold offended eyes met Margarets with a grave farewell as he left the room She sat down silent and pale
Do you know Margaret I really begin quite to like Mr Thornton
No answer at first Then Margaret forced out an icy Do you
Yes I think he is really getting quite polished in his manners
Margarets voice was more in order now She replied
He is very kind and attentive—there is no doubt of that
I wonder Mrs Thornton never calls She must know I am ill because of the waterbed
I dare say she hears how you are from her son
Still I should like to see her You have so few friends here Margaret
Margaret felt what was in her mothers thoughts—a tender craving to bespeak the kindness of some woman towards the daughter that might be so soon left motherless But she could not speak
Do you think said Mrs Hale after a pause that you could go and ask Mrs Thornton to come and see me Only once—I dont want to be troublesome
I will do anything if you wish it mamma—but if—but when Frederick comes——
Ah to be sure we must keep our doors shut—we must let no one in I hardly know whether I dare wish him to come or not Sometimes I think I would rather not Sometimes I have such frightful dreams about him
Oh mamma well take good care I will put my arm in the bolt sooner than he should come to the slightest harm Trust the care of him to me mamma I will watch over him like a lioness over her young
When can we hear from him
Not for a week yet certainly—perhaps more
We must send Martha away in good time It would never do to have her here when he comes and then send her off in a hurry
Dixon is sure to remind us of that I was thinking that if we wanted any help in the house while he is here we could perhaps get Mary Higgins She is very slack of work and is a good girl and would take pains to do her best I am sure and would sleep at home and need never come upstairs so as to know who is in the house
As you please As Dixon pleases But Margaret dont get to use these horrid Milton words Slack of work it is a provincialism What will your aunt Shaw say if she hears you use it on her return
Oh mamma dont try and make a bugbear of aunt Shaw said Margaret laughing Edith picked up all sorts of military slang from Captain Lennox and aunt Shaw never took any notice of it
But yours is factory slang
And if I live in a factory town I must speak factory language when I want it Why mamma I could astonish you with a great many words you never heard in your life I dont believe you know what a knobstick is
Not I child I only know it has a very vulgar sound and I dont want to hear you using it
Very well dearest mother I wont Only I shall have to use a whole explanatory sentence instead
I dont like this Milton said Mrs Hale Edith is right enough in saying its the smoke that has made me so ill
Margaret started up as her mother said this Her father had just entered the room and she was most anxious that the faint impression she had seen on his mind that the Milton air had injured her mothers health should not be deepened—should not receive any confirmation She could not tell whether he had heard what Mrs Hale had said or not but she began speaking hurriedly of other things unaware that Mr Thornton was following him
Mamma is accusing me of having picked up a great deal of vulgarity since we came to Milton
The vulgarity Margaret spoke of referred purely to the use of local words and the expression arose out of the conversation they had just been holding But Mr Thorntons brow darkened and Margaret suddenly felt how her speech might be misunderstood by him so in the natural sweet desire to avoid giving unnecessary pain she forced herself to go forwards with a little greeting and continue what she was saying addressing herself to him expressly
Now Mr Thornton though knobstick has not a very pretty sound is it not expressive Could I do without it in speaking of the thing it represents If using local words is vulgar I was very vulgar in the Forest—was I not mamma
It was unusual with Margaret to obtrude her own subject of conversation on others but in this case she was so anxious to prevent Mr Thornton from feeling annoyance at the words he had accidentally overheard that it was not until she had done speaking that she coloured all over with consciousness more especially as Mr Thornton seemed hardly to understand the exact gist or bearing of what she was saying but passed her by with a cold reserve of ceremonious movement to speak to Mrs Hale
The sight of him reminded her of the wish to see his mother and commend Margaret to her care Margaret sitting in burning silence vexed and ashamed of her difficulty in keeping her right place and her calm unconsciousness of heart when Mr Thornton was by heard her mothers slow entreaty that Mrs Thornton would come and see her see her soon tomorrow if it were possible Mr Thornton promised that she should—conversed a little and then took his leave and Margarets movements and voice seemed at once released from some invisible chains He never looked at her and yet the careful avoidance of his eyes betokened that in some way he knew exactly where if they fell by chance they would rest on her If she spoke he gave no sign of attention and yet his next speech to any one else was modified by what she had said sometimes there was an express answer to what she had remarked but given to another person as though unsuggested by her It was not the bad manners of ignorance it was the wilful bad manners arising from deep offence It was wilful at the time repented of afterwards But no deep plan no careful cunning could have stood him in such good stead Margaret thought about him more than she had ever done before not with any tinge of what is called love but with regret that she had wounded him so deeply—and with a gentle patient striving to return to their former position of antagonistic friendship for a friends position was what she found that he had held in her regard as well as in that of the rest of the family There was a pretty humility in her behaviour to him as if mutely apologising for the overstrong words which were the reaction from the deeds of the day of the riot
But he resented those words bitterly They rung in his ears and he was proud of the sense of justice which made him go on in every kindness he could offer to her parents He exulted in the power he showed in compelling himself to face her whenever he could think of any action which might give her father or mother pleasure He thought that he disliked seeing one who had mortified him so keenly but he was mistaken It was a stinging pleasure to be in the room with her and feel her presence But he was no great analyser of his own motives and was mistaken as I have said
CHAPTER XXX—HOME AT LAST
The saddest birds a season find to sing
SOUTHWELL
Never to fold the robe oer secret pain
Never weighed down by memorys clouds again
To bow thy head Thou art gone home
MRS HEMANS
Mrs Thornton came to see Mrs Hale the next morning She was much worse One of those sudden changes—those great visible strides towards death had been taken in the night and her own family were startled by the gray sunken look her features had assumed in that one twelve hours of suffering Mrs Thornton—who had not seen her for weeks—was softened all at once She had come because her son asked it from her as a personal favour but with all the proud bitter feelings of her nature in arms against that family of which Margaret formed one She doubted the reality of Mrs Hales illness she doubted any want beyond a momentary fancy on that ladys part which should take her out of her previously settled course of employment for the day She told her son that she wished they had never come near the place that he had never got acquainted with them that there had been no such useless languages as Latin and Greek ever invented He bore all this pretty silently but when she had ended her invective against the dead languages he quietly returned to the short curt decided expression of his wish that she should go and see Mrs Hale at the time appointed as most likely to be convenient to the invalid Mrs Thornton submitted with as bad a grace as she could to her sons desire all the time liking him the better for having it and exaggerating in her own mind the same notion that he had of extraordinary goodness on his part in so perseveringly keeping up with the Hales
His goodness verging on weakness as all the softer virtues did in her mind and her own contempt for Mr and Mrs Hale and positive dislike to Margaret were the ideas which occupied Mrs Thornton till she was struck into nothingness before the dark shadow of the wings of the angel of death There lay Mrs Hale—a mother like herself—a much younger woman than she was—on the bed from which there was no sign of hope that she might ever rise again No more variety of light and shade for her in that darkened room no power of action scarcely change of movement faint alternations of whispered sound and studious silence and yet that monotonous life seemed almost too much When Mrs Thornton strong and prosperous with life came in Mrs Hale lay still although from the look on her face she was evidently conscious of who it was But she did not even open her eyes for a minute or two The heavy moisture of tears stood on the eyelashes before she looked up then with her hand groping feebly over the bedclothes for the touch of Mrs Thorntons large firm fingers she said scarcely above her breath—Mrs Thornton had to stoop from her erectness to listen—
Margaret—you have a daughter—my sister is in Italy My child will be without a mother—in a strange place—if I die—will you——
And her filmy wandering eyes fixed themselves with an intensity of wistfulness on Mrs Thorntons face For a minute there was no change in its rigidness it was stern and unmoved—nay but that the eyes of the sick woman were growing dim with the slowgathering tears she might have seen a dark cloud cross the cold features And it was no thought of her son or of her living daughter Fanny that stirred her heart at last but a sudden remembrance suggested by something in the arrangement of the room—of a little daughter—dead in infancy—long years ago—that like a sudden sunbeam melted the icy crust behind which there was a real tender woman
You wish me to be a friend to Miss Hale said Mrs Thornton in her measured voice that would not soften with her heart but came out distinct and clear
Mrs Hale her eyes still fixed on Mrs Thorntons face pressed the hand that lay below hers on the coverlet She could not speak Mrs Thornton sighed I will be a true friend if circumstances require it Not a tender friend That I cannot be—to her she was on the point of adding but she relented at the sight of that poor anxious face—It is not my nature to show affection even where I feel it nor do I volunteer advice in general Still at your request—if it will be any comfort to you I will promise you Then came a pause Mrs Thornton was too conscientious to promise what she did not mean to perform and to perform anything in the way of kindness on behalf of Margaret more disliked at this moment than ever was difficult almost impossible
I promise said she with grave severity which after all inspired the dying woman with faith as in something more stable than life itself—flickering flitting wavering life I promise that in any difficulty in which Miss Hale——
Call her Margaret gasped Mrs Hale
In which she comes to me for help I will help her with every power I have as if she were my own daughter I also promise that if ever I see her doing what I think is wrong——
But Margaret never does wrong—not wilfully wrong pleaded Mrs Hale Mrs Thornton went on as before as if she had not heard
If ever I see her doing what I believe to be wrong—such wrong not touching me or mine in which case I might be supposed to have an interested motive—I will tell her of it faithfully and plainly as I should wish my own daughter to be told
There was a long pause Mrs Hale felt that this promise did not include all and yet it was much It had reservations in it which she did not understand but then she was weak dizzy and tired Mrs Thornton was reviewing all the probable cases in which she had pledged herself to act She had a fierce pleasure in the idea of telling Margaret unwelcome truths in the shape of performance of duty Mrs Hale began to speak
I thank you I pray God to bless you I shall never see you again in this world But my last words are I thank you for your promise of kindness to my child
Not kindness testified Mrs Thornton ungraciously truthful to the last But having eased her conscience by saying these words she was not sorry that they were not heard She pressed Mrs Hales soft languid hand and rose up and went her way out of the house without seeing a creature
During the time that Mrs Thornton was having this interview with Mrs Hale Margaret and Dixon were laying their heads together and consulting how they should keep Fredericks coming a profound secret to all out of the house A letter from him might now be expected any day and he would assuredly follow quickly on its heels Martha must be sent away on her holiday Dixon must keep stern guard on the front door only admitting the few visitors that ever came to the house into Mr Hales room downstairs—Mrs Hales extreme illness giving her a good excuse for this If Mary Higgins was required as a help to Dixon in the kitchen she was to hear and see as little of Frederick as possible and he was if necessary to be spoken of to her under the name of Mr Dickinson But her sluggish and incurious nature was the greatest safeguard of all
They resolved that Martha should leave them that very afternoon for this visit to her mother Margaret wished that she had been sent away on the previous day as she fancied it might be thought strange to give a servant a holiday when her mistresss state required so much attendance
Poor Margaret All that afternoon she had to act the part of a Roman daughter and give strength out of her own scanty stock to her father Mr Hale would hope would not despair between the attacks of his wifes malady he buoyed himself up in every respite from her pain and believed that it was the beginning of ultimate recovery And so when the paroxysms came on each more severe than the last they were fresh agonies and greater disappointments to him This afternoon he sat in the drawingroom unable to bear the solitude of his study or to employ himself in any way He buried his head in his arms which lay folded on the table Margarets heart ached to see him yet as he did not speak she did not like to volunteer any attempt at comfort Martha was gone Dixon sat with Mrs Hale while she slept The house was very still and quiet and darkness came on without any movement to procure candles Margaret sat at the window looking out at the lamps and the street but seeing nothing—only alive to her fathers heavy sighs She did not like to go down for lights lest the tacit restraint of her presence being withdrawn he might give way to more violent emotion without her being at hand to comfort him Yet she was just thinking that she ought to go and see after the welldoing of the kitchen fire which there was nobody but herself to attend to when she heard the muffled doorring with so violent a pull that the wires jingled all through the house though the positive sound was not great She started up passed her father who had never moved at the veiled dull sound—returned and kissed him tenderly And still he never moved nor took any notice of her fond embrace Then she went down softly through the dark to the door Dixon would have put the chain on before she opened it but Margaret had not a thought of fear in her preoccupied mind A mans tall figure stood between her and the luminous street He was looking away but at the sound of the latch he turned quickly round
Is this Mr Hales said he in a clear full delicate voice
Margaret trembled all over at first she did not answer In a moment she sighed out
Frederick and stretched out both her hands to catch his and draw him in
Oh Margaret said he holding her off by her shoulders after they had kissed each other as if even in that darkness he could see her face and read in its expression a quicker answer to his question than words could give—
My mother is she alive
Yes she is alive dear dear brother She—as ill as she can be she is but alive She is alive
Thank God said he
Papa is utterly prostrate with this great grief
You expect me dont you
No we have had no letter
Then I have come before it But my mother knows I am coming
Oh we all knew you would come But wait a little Step in here Give me your hand What is this Oh your carpetbag Dixon has shut the shutters but this is papas study and I can take you to a chair to rest yourself for a few minutes while I go and tell him
She groped her way to the taper and the lucifer matches She suddenly felt shy when the little feeble light made them visible All she could see was that her brothers face was unusually dark in complexion and she caught the stealthy look of a pair of remarkably longcut blue eyes that suddenly twinkled up with a droll consciousness of their mutual purpose of inspecting each other But though the brother and sister had an instant of sympathy in their reciprocal glances they did not exchange a word only Margaret felt sure that she should like her brother as a companion as much as she already loved him as a near relation Her heart was wonderfully lighter as she went upstairs the sorrow was no less in reality but it became less oppressive from having some one in precisely the same relation to it as that in which she stood Not her fathers desponding attitude had power to damp her now He lay across the table helpless as ever but she had the spell by which to rouse him She used it perhaps too violently in her own great relief
Papa said she throwing her arms fondly round his neck pulling his weary head up in fact with her gentle violence till it rested in her arms and she could look into his eyes and let them gain strength and assurance from hers
Papa guess who is here
He looked at her she saw the idea of the truth glimmer into their filmy sadness and be dismissed thence as a wild imagination
He threw himself forward and hid his face once more in his stretchedout arms resting upon the table as heretofore She heard him whisper she bent tenderly down to listen I dont know Dont tell me it is Frederick—not Frederick I cannot bear it—I am too weak And his mother is dying He began to cry and wail like a child It was so different to all which Margaret had hoped and expected that she turned sick with disappointment and was silent for an instant Then she spoke again—very differently—not so exultingly far more tenderly and carefully
Papa it is Frederick Think of mamma how glad she will be And oh for her sake how glad we ought to be For his sake too—our poor poor boy
Her father did not change his attitude but he seemed to be trying to understand the fact
Where is he asked he at last his face still hidden in his prostrate arms
In your study quite alone I lighted the taper and ran up to tell you He is quite alone and will be wondering why—
I will go to him broke in her father and he lifted himself up and leant on her arm as on that of a guide
Margaret led him to the study door but her spirits were so agitated that she felt she could not bear to see the meeting She turned away and ran upstairs and cried most heartily It was the first time she had dared to allow herself this relief for days The strain had been terrible as she now felt But Frederick was come He the one precious brother was there safe amongst them again She could hardly believe it She stopped her crying and opened her bedroom door She heard no sound of voices and almost feared she might have dreamt She went downstairs and listened at the study door She heard the buzz of voices and that was enough She went into the kitchen and stirred up the fire and lighted the house and prepared for the wanderers refreshment How fortunate it was that her mother slept She knew that she did from the candlelighter thrust through the keyhole of her bedroom door The traveller could be refreshed and bright and the first excitement of the meeting with his father all be over before her mother became aware of anything unusual
When all was ready Margaret opened the study door and went in like a servingmaiden with a heavy tray held in her extended arms She was proud of serving Frederick But he when he saw her sprang up in a minute and relieved her of her burden It was a type a sign of all the coming relief which his presence would bring The brother and sister arranged the table together saying little but their hands touching and their eyes speaking the natural language of expression so intelligible to those of the same blood The fire had gone out and Margaret applied herself to light it for the evenings had begun to be chilly and yet it was desirable to make all noises as distant as possible from Mrs Hales room
Dixon says it is a gift to light a fire not an art to be acquired
Poeta nascitur non fit murmured Mr Hale and Margaret was glad to hear a quotation once more however languidly given
Dear old Dixon How we shall kiss each other said Frederick She used to kiss me and then look in my face to be sure I was the right person and then set to again But Margaret what a bungler you are I never saw such a little awkward goodfornothing pair of hands Run away and wash them ready to cut breadandbutter for me and leave the fire Ill manage it Lighting fires is one of my natural accomplishments
So Margaret went away and returned and passed in and out of the room in a glad restlessness that could not be satisfied with sitting still The more wants Frederick had the better she was pleased and he understood all this by instinct It was a joy snatched in the house of mourning and the zest of it was all the more pungent because they knew in the depths of their hearts what irremediable sorrow awaited them
In the middle they heard Dixons foot on the stairs Mr Hale started from his languid posture in his great armchair from which he had been watching his children in a dreamy way as if they were acting some drama of happiness which it was pretty to look at but which was distinct from reality and in which he had no part He stood up and faced the door showing such a strange sudden anxiety to conceal Frederick from the sight of any person entering even though it were the faithful Dixon that a shiver came over Margarets heart it reminded her of the new fear in their lives She caught at Fredericks arm and clutched it tight while a stern thought compressed her brows and caused her to set her teeth And yet they knew it was only Dixons measured tread They heard her walk the length of the passage into the kitchen Margaret rose up
I will go to her and tell her And I shall hear how mamma is Mrs Hale was awake She rambled at first but after they had given her some tea she was refreshed though not disposed to talk It was better that the night should pass over before she was told of her sons arrival Dr Donaldsons appointed visit would bring nervous excitement enough for the evening and he might tell them how to prepare her for seeing Frederick He was there in the house could be summoned at any moment
Margaret could not sit still It was a relief to her to aid Dixon in all her preparations for Master Frederick It seemed as though she never could be tired again Each glimpse into the room where he sate by his father conversing with him about she knew not what nor cared to know—was increase of strength to her Her own time for talking and hearing would come at last and she was too certain of this to feel in a hurry to grasp it now She took in his appearance and liked it He had delicate features redeemed from effeminacy by the swarthiness of his complexion and his quick intensity of expression His eyes were generally merrylooking but at times they and his mouth so suddenly changed and gave her such an idea of latent passion that it almost made her afraid But this look was only for an instant and had in it no doggedness no vindictiveness it was rather the instantaneous ferocity of expression that comes over the countenances of all natives of wild or southern countries—a ferocity which enhances the charm of the childlike softness into which such a look may melt away Margaret might fear the violence of the impulsive nature thus occasionally betrayed but there was nothing in it to make her distrust or recoil in the least from the newfound brother On the contrary all their intercourse was peculiarly charming to her from the very first She knew then how much responsibility she had had to bear from the exquisite sensation of relief which she felt in Fredericks presence He understood his father and mother—their characters and their weaknesses and went along with a careless freedom which was yet most delicately careful not to hurt or wound any of their feelings He seemed to know instinctively when a little of the natural brilliancy of his manner and conversation would not jar on the deep depression of his father or might relieve his mothers pain Whenever it would have been out of tune and out of time his patient devotion and watchfulness came into play and made him an admirable nurse Then Margaret was almost touched into tears by the allusions which he often made to their childish days in the New Forest he had never forgotten her—or Helstone either—all the time he had been roaming among distant countries and foreign people She might talk to him of the old spot and never fear tiring him She had been afraid of him before he came even while she had longed for his coming seven or eight years had she felt produced such great changes in herself that forgetting how much of the original Margaret was left she had reasoned that if her tastes and feelings had so materially altered even in her stayathome life his wild career with which she was but imperfectly acquainted must have almost substituted another Frederick for the tall stripling in his middys uniform whom she remembered looking up to with such admiring awe But in their absence they had grown nearer to each other in age as well as in many other things And so it was that the weight this sorrowful time was lightened to Margaret Other light than that of Fredericks presence she had none For a few hours the mother rallied on seeing her son She sate with his hand in hers she would not part with it even while she slept and Margaret had to feed him like a baby rather than that he should disturb her mother by removing a finger Mrs Hale wakened while they were thus engaged she slowly moved her head round on the pillow and smiled at her children as she understood what they were doing and why it was done
I am very selfish said she but it will not be for long Frederick bent down and kissed the feeble hand that imprisoned his
This state of tranquillity could not endure for many days nor perhaps for many hours so Dr Donaldson assured Margaret After the kind doctor had gone away she stole down to Frederick who during the visit had been adjured to remain quietly concealed in the back parlour usually Dixons bedroom but now given up to him
Margaret told him what Dr Donaldson said
I dont believe it he exclaimed She is very ill she may be dangerously ill and in immediate danger too but I cant imagine that she could be as she is if she were on the point of death Margaret she should have some other advice—some London doctor Have you never thought of that
Yes said Margaret more than once But I dont believe it would do any good And you know we have not the money to bring any great London surgeon down and I am sure Dr Donaldson is only second in skill to the very best—if indeed he is to them
Frederick began to walk up and down the room impatiently
I have credit in Cadiz said he but none here owing to this wretched change of name Why did my father leave Helstone That was the blunder
It was no blunder said Margaret gloomily And above all possible chances avoid letting papa hear anything like what you have just been saying I can see that he is tormenting himself already with the idea that mamma would never have been ill if we had stayed at Helstone and you dont know papas agonising power of selfreproach
Frederick walked away as if he were on the quarterdeck At last he stopped right opposite to Margaret and looked at her drooping and desponding attitude for an instant
My little Margaret said he caressing her Let us hope as long as we can Poor little woman what is this face all wet with tears I will hope I will in spite of a thousand doctors Bear up Margaret and be brave enough to hope
Margaret choked in trying to speak and when she did it was very low
I must try to be meek enough to trust Oh Frederick mamma was getting to love me so And I was getting to understand her And now comes death to snap us asunder
Come come come Let us go upstairs and do something rather than waste time that may be so precious Thinking has many a time made me sad darling but doing never did in all my life My theory is a sort of parody on the maxim of Get money my son honestly if you can but get money My precept is Do something my sister do good if you can but at any rate do something
Not excluding mischief said Margaret smiling faintly through her tears
By no means What I do exclude is the remorse afterwards Blot your misdeeds out if you are particularly conscientious by a good deed as soon as you can just as we did a correct sum at school on the slate where an incorrect one was only half rubbed out It was better than wetting our sponge with our tears both less loss of time where tears had to be waited for and a better effect at last
If Margaret thought Fredericks theory rather a rough one at first she saw how he worked it out into continual production of kindness in fact After a bad night with his mother for he insisted on taking his turn as a sitterup he was busy next morning before breakfast contriving a legrest for Dixon who was beginning to feel the fatigues of watching At breakfasttime he interested Mr Hale with vivid graphic rattling accounts of the wild life he had led in Mexico South America and elsewhere Margaret would have given up the effort in despair to rouse Mr Hale out of his dejection it would even have affected herself and rendered her incapable of talking at all But Fred true to his theory did something perpetually and talking was the only thing to be done besides eating at breakfast
Before the night of that day Dr Donaldsons opinion was proved to be too well founded Convulsions came on and when they ceased Mrs Hale was unconscious Her husband might lie by her shaking the bed with his sobs her sons strong arms might lift her tenderly up into a comfortable position her daughters hands might bathe her face but she knew them not She would never recognise them again till they met in Heaven
Before the morning came all was over
Then Margaret rose from her trembling and despondency and became as a strong angel of comfort to her father and brother For Frederick had broken down now and all his theories were of no use to him He cried so violently when shut up alone in his little room at night that Margaret and Dixon came down in affright to warn him to be quiet for the house partitions were but thin and the nextdoor neighbours might easily hear his youthful passionate sobs so different from the slower trembling agony of afterlife when we become inured to grief and dare not be rebellious against the inexorable doom knowing who it is that decrees
Margaret sate with her father in the room with the dead If he had cried she would have been thankful But he sate by the bed quite quietly only from time to time he uncovered the face and stroked it gently making a kind of soft inarticulate noise like that of some motheranimal caressing her young He took no notice of Margarets presence Once or twice she came up to kiss him and he submitted to it giving her a little push away when she had done as if her affection disturbed him from his absorption in the dead He started when he heard Fredericks cries and shook his head—Poor boy poor boy he said and took no more notice Margarets heart ached within her She could not think of her own loss in thinking of her fathers case The night was wearing away and the day was at hand when without a word of preparation Margarets voice broke upon the stillness of the room with a clearness of sound that startled even herself Let not your heart be troubled it said and she went steadily on through all that chapter of unspeakable consolation
CHAPTER XXXI—SHOULD AULD ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT
Show not that manner and these features all
The serpents cunning and the sinners fall
CRABBE
The chill shivery October morning came not the October morning of the country with soft silvery mists clearing off before the sunbeams that bring out all the gorgeous beauty of colouring but the October morning of Milton whose silver mists were heavy fogs and where the sun could only show long dusky streets when he did break through and shine Margaret went languidly about assisting Dixon in her task of arranging the house Her eyes were continually blinded by tears but she had no time to give way to regular crying The father and brother depended upon her while they were giving way to grief she must be working planning considering Even the necessary arrangements for the funeral seemed to devolve upon her
When the fire was bright and crackling—when everything was ready for breakfast and the teakettle was singing away Margaret gave a last look round the room before going to summon Mr Hale and Frederick She wanted everything to look as cheerful as possible and yet when it did so the contrast between it and her own thoughts forced her into sudden weeping She was kneeling by the sofa hiding her face in the cushions that no one might hear her cry when she was touched on the shoulder by Dixon
Come Miss Hale—come my dear You must not give way or where shall we all be There is not another person in the house fit to give a direction of any kind and there is so much to be done Theres whos to manage the funeral and whos to come to it and where its to be and all to be settled and Master Fredericks like one crazed with crying and master never was a good one for settling and poor gentleman he goes about now as if he was lost Its bad enough my dear I know but death comes to us all and youre well off never to have lost any friend till now
Perhaps so But this seemed a loss by itself not to bear comparison with any other event in the world Margaret did not take any comfort from what Dixon said but the unusual tenderness of the prim old servants manner touched her to the heart and more from a desire to show her gratitude for this than for any other reason she roused herself up and smiled in answer to Dixons anxious look at her and went to tell her father and brother that breakfast was ready
Mr Hale came—as if in a dream or rather with the unconscious motion of a sleepwalker whose eyes and mind perceive other things than what are present Frederick came briskly in with a forced cheerfulness grasped her hand looked into her eyes and burst into tears She had to try and think of little nothings to say all breakfasttime in order to prevent the recurrence of her companions thoughts too strongly to the last meal they had taken together when there had been a continual strained listening for some sound or signal from the sickroom
After breakfast she resolved to speak to her father about the funeral He shook his head and assented to all she proposed though many of her propositions absolutely contradicted one another Margaret gained no real decision from him and was leaving the room languidly to have a consultation with Dixon when Mr Hale motioned her back to his side
Ask Mr Bell said he in a hollow voice
Mr Bell said she a little surprised Mr Bell of Oxford
Mr Bell he repeated Yes He was my groomsman
Margaret understood the association
I will write today said she He sank again into listlessness All morning she toiled on longing for rest but in a continual whirl of melancholy business
Towards evening Dixon said to her
Ive done it miss I was really afraid for master that hed have a stroke with grief Hes been all this day with poor missus and when Ive listened at the door Ive heard him talking to her and talking to her as if she was alive When I went in he would be quite quiet but all in a maze like So I thought to myself he ought to be roused and if it gives him a shock at first it will maybe be the better afterwards So Ive been and told him that I dont think its safe for Master Frederick to be here And I dont It was only on Tuesday when I was out that I met a Southampton man—the first Ive seen since I came to Milton they dont make their way much up here I think Well it was young Leonards old Leonards the drapers son as great a scamp as ever lived—who plagued his father almost to death and then ran off to sea I never could abide him He was in the Orion at the same time as Master Frederick I know though I dont recollect if he was there at the mutiny
Did he know you said Margaret eagerly
Why thats the worst of it I dont believe he would have known me but for my being such a fool as to call out his name He were a Southampton man in a strange place or else I should never have been so ready to call cousins with him a nasty goodfornothing fellow Says he Miss Dixon who would ha thought of seeing you here But perhaps I mistake and youre Miss Dixon no longer So I told him he might still address me as an unmarried lady though if I hadnt been so particular Id had good chances of matrimony He was polite enough He couldnt look at me and doubt me But I were not to be caught with such chaff from such a fellow as him and so I told him and by way of being even I asked him after his father who I knew had turned him out of doors as if they was the best friends as ever was So then to spite me—for you see we were getting savage for all we were so civil to each other—he began to inquire after Master Frederick and said what a scrape hed got into as if Master Fredericks scrapes would ever wash George Leonards white or make em look otherwise than nasty dirty black and how hed be hung for mutiny if ever he were caught and how a hundred pound reward had been offered for catching him and what a disgrace he had been to his family—all to spite me you see my dear because before now Ive helped old Mr Leonards to give George a good rating down in Southampton So I said there were other families be thankful if they could think they were earning an honest living as I knew who had far more cause to blush for their sons and to far away from home To which he made answer like the impudent chap he is that he were in a confidential situation and if I knew of any young man who had been so unfortunate as to lead vicious courses and wanted to turn steady hed have no objection to lend him his patronage He indeed Why hed corrupt a saint Ive not felt so bad myself for years as when I were standing talking to him the other day I could have cried to think I couldnt spite him better for he kept smiling in my face as if he took all my compliments for earnest and I couldnt see that he minded what I said in the least while I was mad with all his speeches
But you did not tell him anything about us—about Frederick
Not I said Dixon He had never the grace to ask where I was staying and I shouldnt have told him if he had asked Nor did I ask him what his precious situation was He was waiting for a bus and just then it drove up and he hailed it But to plague me to the last he turned back before he got in and said If you can help me to trap Lieutenant Hale Miss Dixon well go partners in the reward I know youd like to be my partner now wouldnt you Dont be shy but say yes And he jumped on the bus and I saw his ugly face leering at me with a wicked smile to think how hed had the last word of plaguing
Margaret was made very uncomfortable by this account of Dixons
Have you told Frederick asked she
No said Dixon I were uneasy in my mind at knowing that bad Leonards was in town but there was so much else to think about that I did not dwell on it at all But when I saw master sitting so stiff and with his eyes so glazed and sad I thought it might rouse him to have to think of Master Fredericks safety a bit So I told him all though I blushed to say how a young man had been speaking to me And it has done master good And if were to keep Master Frederick in hiding he would have to go poor fellow before Mr Bell came
Oh Im not afraid of Mr Bell but I am afraid of this Leonards I must tell Frederick What did Leonards look like
A badlooking fellow I can assure you miss Whiskers such as I should be ashamed to wear—they are so red And for all he said hed got a confidential situation he was dressed in fustian just like a workingman
It was evident that Frederick must go Go too when he had so completely vaulted into his place in the family and promised to be such a stay and staff to his father and sister Go when his cares for the living mother and sorrow for the dead seemed to make him one of those peculiar people who are bound to us by a fellowlove for them that are taken away Just as Margaret was thinking all this sitting over the drawingroom fire—her father restless and uneasy under the pressure of this newlyaroused fear of which he had not as yet spoken—Frederick came in his brightness dimmed but the extreme violence of his grief passed away He came up to Margaret and kissed her forehead
How wan you look Margaret said he in a low voice You have been thinking of everybody and no one has thought of you Lie on this sofa—there is nothing for you to do
That is the worst said Margaret in a sad whisper But she went and lay down and her brother covered her feet with a shawl and then sate on the ground by her side and the two began to talk in a subdued tone
Margaret told him all that Dixon had related of her interview with young Leonards Fredericks lips closed with a long whew of dismay
I should just like to have it out with that young fellow A worse sailor was never on board ship—nor a much worse man either I declare Margaret—you know the circumstances of the whole affair
Yes mamma told me
Well when all the sailors who were good for anything were indignant with our captain this fellow to curry favour—pah And to think of his being here Oh if hed a notion I was within twenty miles of him hed ferret me out to pay off old grudges Id rather anybody had the hundred pounds they think I am worth than that rascal What a pity poor old Dixon could not be persuaded to give me up and make a provision for her old age
Oh Frederick hush Dont talk so
Mr Hale came towards them eager and trembling He had overheard what they were saying He took Fredericks hand in both of his
My boy you must go It is very bad—but I see you must You have done all you could—you have been a comfort to her
Oh papa must he go said Margaret pleading against her own conviction of necessity
I declare Ive a good mind to face it out and stand my trial If I could only pick up my evidence I cannot endure the thought of being in the power of such a blackguard as Leonards I could almost have enjoyed—in other circumstances—this stolen visit it has had all the charm which the Frenchwoman attributed to forbidden pleasures
One of the earliest things I can remember said Margaret was your being in some great disgrace Fred for stealing apples We had plenty of our own—trees loaded with them but some one had told you that stolen fruit tasted sweetest which you took au pied de la lettre and off you went arobbing You have not changed your feelings much since then
Yes—you must go repeated Mr Hale answering Margarets question which she had asked some time ago His thoughts were fixed on one subject and it was an effort to him to follow the zigzag remarks of his children—an effort which he did not make
Margaret and Frederick looked at each other That quick momentary sympathy would be theirs no longer if he went away So much was understood through eyes that could not be put into words Both coursed the same thought till it was lost in sadness Frederick shook it off first
Do you know Margaret I was very nearly giving both Dixon and myself a good fright this afternoon I was in my bedroom I had heard a ring at the front door but I thought the ringer must have done his business and gone away long ago so I was on the point of making my appearance in the passage when as I opened my room door I saw Dixon coming downstairs and she frowned and kicked me into hiding again I kept the door open and heard a message given to some man that was in my fathers study and that then went away Who could it have been Some of the shopmen
Very likely said Margaret indifferently There was a little quiet man who came up for orders about two oclock
But this was not a little man—a great powerful fellow and it was past four when he was here
It was Mr Thornton said Mr Hale They were glad to have drawn him into the conversation
Mr Thornton said Margaret a little surprised I thought——
Well little one what did you think asked Frederick as she did not finish her sentence
Oh only said she reddening and looking straight at him I fancied you meant some one of a different class not a gentleman somebody come on an errand
He looked like some one of that kind said Frederick carelessly I took him for a shopman and he turns out a manufacturer
Margaret was silent She remembered how at first before she knew his character she had spoken and thought of him just as Frederick was doing It was but a natural impression that was made upon him and yet she was a little annoyed by it She was unwilling to speak she wanted to make Frederick understand what kind of person Mr Thornton was—but she was tonguetied
Mr Hale went on He came to offer any assistance in his power I believe But I could not see him I told Dixon to ask him if he would like to see you—I think I asked her to find you and you would go to him I dont know what I said
He has been a very agreeable acquaintance has he not asked Frederick throwing the question like a ball for any one to catch who chose
A very kind friend said Margaret when her father did not answer
Frederick was silent for a time At last he spoke
Margaret it is painful to think I can never thank those who have shown you kindness Your acquaintances and mine must be separate Unless indeed I run the chances of a courtmartial or unless you and my father would come to Spain He threw out this last suggestion as a kind of feeler and then suddenly made the plunge You dont know how I wish you would I have a good position—the chance of a better continued he reddening like a girl That Dolores Barbour that I was telling you of Margaret—I only wish you knew her I am sure you would like—no love is the right word like is so poor—you would love her father if you knew her She is not eighteen but if she is in the same mind another year she is to be my wife Mr Barbour wont let us call it an engagement But if you would come you would find friends everywhere besides Dolores Think of it father Margaret be on my side
No—no more removals for me said Mr Hale One removal has cost me my wife No more removals in this life She will be here and here will I stay out my appointed time
Oh Frederick said Margaret tell us more about her I never thought of this but I am so glad You will have some one to love and care for you out there Tell us all about it
In the first place she is a Roman Catholic Thats the only objection I anticipated But my fathers change of opinion—nay Margaret dont sigh
Margaret had reason to sigh a little more before the conversation ended Frederick himself was Roman Catholic in fact though not in profession as yet This was then the reason why his sympathy in her extreme distress at her fathers leaving the Church had been so faintly expressed in his letters She had thought it was the carelessness of a sailor but the truth was that even then he was himself inclined to give up the form of religion into which he had been baptised only that his opinions were tending in exactly the opposite direction to those of his father How much love had to do with this change not even Frederick himself could have told Margaret gave up talking about this branch of the subject at last and returning to the fact of the engagement she began to consider it in some fresh light
But for her sake Fred you surely will try and clear yourself of the exaggerated charges brought against you even if the charge of mutiny itself be true If there were to be a courtmartial and you could find your witnesses you might at any rate show how your disobedience to authority was because that authority was unworthily exercised
Mr Hale roused himself up to listen to his sons answer
In the first place Margaret who is to hunt up my witnesses All of them are sailors drafted off to other ships except those whose evidence would go for very little as they took part or sympathised in the affair In the next place allow me to tell you you dont know what a courtmartial is and consider it as an assembly where justice is administered instead of what it really is—a court where authority weighs ninetenths in the balance and evidence forms only the other tenth In such cases evidence itself can hardly escape being influenced by the prestige of authority
But is it not worth trying to see how much evidence might be discovered and arrayed on your behalf At present all those who knew you formerly believe you guilty without any shadow of excuse You have never tried to justify yourself and we have never known where to seek for proofs of your justification Now for Miss Barbours sake make your conduct as clear as you can in the eye of the world She may not care for it she has I am sure that trust in you that we all have but you ought not to let her ally herself to one under such a serious charge without showing the world exactly how it is you stand You disobeyed authority—that was bad but to have stood by without word or act while the authority was brutally used would have been infinitely worse People know what you did but not the motives that elevate it out of a crime into an heroic protection of the weak For Dolores sake they ought to know
But how must I make them know I am not sufficiently sure of the purity and justice of those who would be my judges to give myself up to a courtmartial even if I could bring a whole array of truthspeaking witnesses I cant send a bellman about to cry aloud and proclaim in the streets what you are pleased to call my heroism No one would read a pamphlet of selfjustification so long after the deed even if I put one out
Will you consult a lawyer as to your chances of exculpation asked Margaret looking up and turning very red
I must first catch my lawyer and have a look at him and see how I like him before I make him into my confidant Many a briefless barrister might twist his conscience into thinking that he could earn a hundred pounds very easily by doing a good action—in giving me a criminal up to justice
Nonsense Frederick—because I know a lawyer on whose honour I can rely of whose cleverness in his profession people speak very highly and who would I think take a good deal of trouble for any of—of Aunt Shaws relations Mr Henry Lennox papa
I think it is a good idea said Mr Hale But dont propose anything which will detain Frederick in England Dont for your mothers sake
You could go to London tomorrow evening by a nighttrain continued Margaret warming up into her plan He must go tomorrow Im afraid papa said she tenderly we fixed that because of Mr Bell and Dixons disagreeable acquaintance
Yes I must go tomorrow said Frederick decidedly
Mr Hale groaned I cant bear to part with you and yet I am miserable with anxiety as long as you stop here
Well then said Margaret listen to my plan He gets to London on Friday morning I will—you might—no it would be better for me to give him a note to Mr Lennox You will find him at his chambers in the Temple
I will write down a list of all the names I can remember on board the Orion I could leave it with him to ferret them out He is Ediths husbands brother isnt he I remember your naming him in your letters I have money in Barbours hands I can pay a pretty long bill if there is any chance of success Money dear father that I had meant for a different purpose so I shall only consider it as borrowed from you and Margaret
Dont do that said Margaret You wont risk it if you do And it will be a risk only it is worth trying You can sail from London as well as from Liverpool
To be sure little goose Wherever I feel water heaving under a plank there I feel at home Ill pick up some craft or other to take me off never fear I wont stay twentyfour hours in London away from you on the one hand and from somebody else on the other
It was rather a comfort to Margaret that Frederick took it into his head to look over her shoulder as she wrote to Mr Lennox If she had not been thus compelled to write steadily and concisely on she might have hesitated over many a word and been puzzled to choose between many an expression in the awkwardness of being the first to resume the intercourse of which the concluding event had been so unpleasant to both sides However the note was taken from her before she had even had time to look it over and treasured up in a pocketbook out of which fell a long lock of black hair the sight of which caused Fredericks eyes to glow with pleasure
Now you would like to see that wouldnt you said he No you must wait till you see her herself She is too perfect to be known by fragments No mean brick shall be a specimen of the building of my palace
CHAPTER XXXII—MISCHANCES
What remain to be
Denounced—dragged it may be in chains
WERNER
All the next day they sate together—they three Mr Hale hardly ever spoke but when his children asked him questions and forced him as it were into the present Fredericks grief was no more to be seen or heard the first paroxysm had passed over and now he was ashamed of having been so battered down by emotion and though his sorrow for the loss of his mother was a deep real feeling and would last out his life it was never to be spoken of again Margaret not so passionate at first was more suffering now At times she cried a good deal and her manner even when speaking on indifferent things had a mournful tenderness about it which was deepened whenever her looks fell on Frederick and she thought of his rapidly approaching departure She was glad he was going on her fathers account however much she might grieve over it on her own The anxious terror in which Mr Hale lived lest his son should be detected and captured far outweighed the pleasure he derived from his presence The nervousness had increased since Mrs Hales death probably because he dwelt upon it more exclusively He started at every unusual sound and was never comfortable unless Frederick sate out of the immediate view of any one entering the room Towards evening he said
You will go with Frederick to the station Margaret I shall want to know he is safely off You will bring me word that he is clear of Milton at any rate
Certainly said Margaret I shall like it if you wont be lonely without me papa
No no I should always be fancying some one had known him and that he had been stopped unless you could tell me you had seen him off And go to the Outwood station It is quite as near and not so many people about Take a cab there There is less risk of his being seen What time is your train Fred
Ten minutes past six very nearly dark So what will you do Margaret
Oh I can manage I am getting very brave and very hard It is a welllighted road all the way home if it should be dark But I was out last week much later
Margaret was thankful when the parting was over—the parting from the dead mother and the living father She hurried Frederick into the cab in order to shorten a scene which she saw was so bitterly painful to her father who would accompany his son as he took his last look at his mother Partly in consequence of this and partly owing to one of the very common mistakes in the Railway Guide as to the times when trains arrive at the smaller stations they found on reaching Outwood that they had nearly twenty minutes to spare The bookingoffice was not open so they could not even take the ticket They accordingly went down the flight of steps that led to the level of the ground below the railway There was a broad cinderpath diagonally crossing a field which lay alongside of the carriageroad and they went there to walk backwards and forwards for the few minutes they had to spare
Margarets hand lay in Fredericks arm He took hold of it affectionately
Margaret I am going to consult Mr Lennox as to the chance of exculpating myself so that I may return to England whenever I choose more for your sake than for the sake of any one else I cant bear to think of your lonely position if anything should happen to my father He looks sadly changed—terribly shaken I wish you could get him to think of the Cadiz plan for many reasons What could you do if he were taken away You have no friend near We are curiously bare of relations
Margaret could hardly keep from crying at the tender anxiety with which Frederick was bringing before her an event which she herself felt was not very improbable so severely had the cares of the last few months told upon Mr Hale But she tried to rally as she said
There have been such strange unexpected changes in my life during these last two years that I feel more than ever that it is not worth while to calculate too closely what I should do if any future event took place I try to think only upon the present She paused they were standing still for a moment close on the field side of the stile leading into the road the setting sun fell on their faces Frederick held her hand in his and looked with wistful anxiety into her face reading there more care and trouble than she would betray by words She went on
We shall write often to one another and I will promise—for I see it will set your mind at ease—to tell you every worry I have Papa is—she started a little a hardly visible start—but Frederick felt the sudden motion of the hand he held and turned his full face to the road along which a horseman was slowly riding just passing the very stile where they stood Margaret bowed her bow was stiffly returned
Who is that said Frederick almost before he was out of hearing Margaret was a little drooping a little flushed as she replied
Mr Thornton you saw him before you know
Only his back He is an unprepossessinglooking fellow What a scowl he has
Something has happened to vex him said Margaret apologetically You would not have thought him unprepossessing if you had seen him with mamma
I fancy it must be time to go and take my ticket If I had known how dark it would be we wouldnt have sent back the cab Margaret
Oh dont fidget about that I can take a cab here if I like or go back by the railroad when I should have shops and people and lamps all the way from the Milton stationhouse Dont think of me take care of yourself I am sick with the thought that Leonards may be in the same train with you Look well into the carriage before you get in
They went back to the station Margaret insisted upon going into the full light of the flaring gas inside to take the ticket Some idlelooking young men were lounging about with the stationmaster Margaret thought she had seen the face of one of them before and returned him a proud look of offended dignity for his somewhat impertinent stare of undisguised admiration She went hastily to her brother who was standing outside and took hold of his arm Have you got your bag Let us walk about here on the platform said she a little flurried at the idea of so soon being left alone and her bravery oozing out rather faster than she liked to acknowledge even to herself She heard a step following them along the flags it stopped when they stopped looking out along the line and hearing the whizz of the coming train They did not speak their hearts were too full Another moment and the train would be here a minute more and he would be gone Margaret almost repented the urgency with which she had entreated him to go to London it was throwing more chances of detection in his way If he had sailed for Spain by Liverpool he might have been off in two or three hours
Frederick turned round right facing the lamp where the gas darted up in vivid anticipation of the train A man in the dress of a railway porter started forward a badlooking man who seemed to have drunk himself into a state of brutality although his senses were in perfect order
By your leave miss said he pushing Margaret rudely on one side and seizing Frederick by the collar
Your name is Hale I believe
In an instant—how Margaret did not see for everything danced before her eyes—but by some sleight of wrestling Frederick had tripped him up and he fell from the height of three or four feet which the platform was elevated above the space of soft ground by the side of the railroad There he lay
Run run gasped Margaret The train is here It was Leonards was it oh run I will carry your bag And she took him by the arm to push him along with all her feeble force A door was opened in a carriage—he jumped in and as he leant out to say God bless you Margaret the train rushed past her an she was left standing alone She was so terribly sick and faint that she was thankful to be able to turn into the ladies waitingroom and sit down for an instant At first she could do nothing but gasp for breath It was such a hurry such a sickening alarm such a near chance If the train had not been there at the moment the man would have jumped up again and called for assistance to arrest him She wondered if the man had got up she tried to remember if she had seen him move she wondered if he could have been seriously hurt She ventured out the platform was all alight but still quite deserted she went to the end and looked over somewhat fearfully No one was there and then she was glad she had made herself go and inspect for otherwise terrible thoughts would have haunted her dreams And even as it was she was so trembling and affrighted that she felt she could not walk home along the road which did indeed seem lonely and dark as she gazed down upon it from the blaze of the station She would wait till the down train passed and take her seat in it But what if Leonards recognised her as Fredericks companion She peered about before venturing into the bookingoffice to take her ticket There were only some railway officials standing about and talking loud to one another
So Leonards has been drinking again said one seemingly in authority Hell need all his boasted influence to keep his place this time
Where is he asked another while Margaret her back towards them was counting her change with trembling fingers not daring to turn round until she heard the answer to this question
I dont know He came in not five minutes ago with some long story or other about a fall hed had swearing awfully and wanted to borrow some money from me to go to London by the next uptrain He made all sorts of tipsy promises but Id something else to do than listen to him I told him to go about his business and he went off at the front door
Hes at the nearest vaults Ill be bound said the first speaker Your money would have gone there too if youd been such a fool as to lend it
Catch me I knew better what his London meant Why he has never paid me off that five shillings—and so they went on
And now all Margarets anxiety was for the train to come She hid herself once more in the ladies waitingroom and fancied every noise was Leonards step—every loud and boisterous voice was his But no one came near her until the train drew up when she was civilly helped into a carriage by a porter into whose face she durst not look till they were in motion and then she saw that it was not Leonards
CHAPTER XXXIII—PEACE
Sleep on my love in thy cold bed
Never to be disquieted
My last Good Night—thou wilt not wake
Till I thy fate shall overtake
DR KING
Home seemed unnaturally quiet after all this terror and noisy commotion Her father had seen all due preparation made for her refreshment on her return and then sate down again in his accustomed chair to fall into one of his sad waking dreams Dixon had got Mary Higgins to scold and direct in the kitchen and her scolding was not the less energetic because it was delivered in an angry whisper for speaking above her breath she would have thought irreverent as long as there was any one dead lying in the house Margaret had resolved not to mention the crowning and closing affright to her father There was no use in speaking about it it had ended well the only thing to be feared was lest Leonards should in some way borrow money enough to effect his purpose of following Frederick to London and hunting him out there But there were immense chances against the success of any such plan and Margaret determined not to torment herself by thinking of what she could do nothing to prevent Frederick would be as much on his guard as she could put him and in a day or two at most he would be safely out of England
I suppose we shall hear from Mr Bell tomorrow said Margaret
Yes replied her father I suppose so
If he can come he will be here tomorrow evening I should think
If he cannot come I shall ask Mr Thornton to go with me to the funeral I cannot go alone I should break down utterly
Dont ask Mr Thornton papa Let me go with you said Margaret impetuously
You My dear women do not generally go
No because they cant control themselves Women of our class dont go because they have no power over their emotions and yet are ashamed of showing them Poor women go and dont care if they are seen overwhelmed with grief But I promise you papa that if you will let me go I will be no trouble Dont have a stranger and leave me out Dear papa if Mr Bell cannot come I shall go I wont urge my wish against your will if he does
Mr Bell could not come He had the gout It was a most affectionate letter and expressed great and true regret for his inability to attend He hoped to come and pay them a visit soon if they would have him his Milton property required some looking after and his agent had written to him to say that his presence was absolutely necessary or else he had avoided coming near Milton as long as he could and now the only thing that would reconcile him to this necessary visit was the idea that he should see and might possibly be able to comfort his old friend
Margaret had all the difficulty in the world to persuade her father not to invite Mr Thornton She had an indescribable repugnance to this step being taken The night before the funeral came a stately note from Mrs Thornton to Miss Hale saying that at her sons desire their carriage should attend the funeral if it would not be disagreeable to the family Margaret tossed the note to her father
Oh dont let us have these forms said she Let us go alone—you and me papa They dont care for us or else he would have offered to go himself and not have proposed this sending an empty carriage
I thought you were so extremely averse to his going Margaret said Mr Hale in some surprise
And so I am I dont want him to come at all and I should especially dislike the idea of our asking him But this seems such a mockery of mourning that I did not expect it from him She startled her father by bursting into tears She had been so subdued in her grief so thoughtful for others so gentle and patient in all things that he could not understand her impatient ways tonight she seemed agitated and restless and at all the tenderness which her father in his turn now lavished upon her she only cried the more
She passed so bad a night that she was ill prepared for the additional anxiety caused by a letter received from Frederick Mr Lennox was out of town his clerk said that he would return by the following Tuesday at the latest that he might possibly be at home on Monday Consequently after some consideration Frederick had determined upon remaining in London a day or two longer He had thought of coming down to Milton again the temptation had been very strong but the idea of Mr Bell domesticated in his fathers house and the alarm he had received at the last moment at the railway station had made him resolve to stay in London Margaret might be assured he would take every precaution against being tracked by Leonards Margaret was thankful that she received this letter while her father was absent in her mothers room If he had been present he would have expected her to read it aloud to him and it would have raised in him a state of nervous alarm which she would have found it impossible to soothe away There was not merely the fact which disturbed her excessively of Fredericks detention in London but there were allusions to the recognition at the last moment at Milton and the possibility of a pursuit which made her blood run cold and how then would it have affected her father Many a time did Margaret repent of having suggested and urged on the plan of consulting Mr Lennox At the moment it had seemed as if it would occasion so little delay—add so little to the apparently small chances of detection and yet everything that had since occurred had tended to make it so undesirable Margaret battled hard against this regret of hers for what could not now be helped this selfreproach for having said what had at the time appeared to be wise but which after events were proving to have been so foolish But her father was in too depressed a state of mind and body to struggle healthily he would succumb to all these causes for morbid regret over what could not be recalled Margaret summoned up all her forces to her aid Her father seemed to have forgotten that they had any reason to expect a letter from Frederick that morning He was absorbed in one idea—that the last visible token of the presence of his wife was to be carried away from him and hidden from his sight He trembled pitifully as the undertakers man was arranging his crape draperies around him He looked wistfully at Margaret and when released he tottered towards her murmuring Pray for me Margaret I have no strength left in me I cannot pray I give her up because I must I try to bear it indeed I do I know it is Gods will But I cannot see why she died Pray for me Margaret that I may have faith to pray It is a great strait my child
Margaret sat by him in the coach almost supporting him in her arms and repeating all the noble verses of holy comfort or texts expressive of faithful resignation that she could remember Her voice never faltered and she herself gained strength by doing this Her fathers lips moved after her repeating the wellknown texts as her words suggested them it was terrible to see the patient struggling effort to obtain the resignation which he had not strength to take into his heart as a part of himself
Margarets fortitude nearly gave way as Dixon with a slight motion of her hand directed her notice to Nicholas Higgins and his daughter standing a little aloof but deeply attentive to the ceremonial Nicholas wore his usual fustian clothes but had a bit of black stuff sewn round his hat—a mark of mourning which he had never shown to his daughter Bessys memory But Mr Hale saw nothing He went on repeating to himself mechanically as it were all the funeral service as it was read by the officiating clergyman he sighed twice or thrice when all was ended and then putting his hand on Margarets arm he mutely entreated to be led away as if he were blind and she his faithful guide
Dixon sobbed aloud she covered her face with her handkerchief and was so absorbed in her own grief that she did not perceive that the crowd attracted on such occasions was dispersing till she was spoken to by some one close at hand It was Mr Thornton He had been present all the time standing with bent head behind a group of people so that in fact no one had recognised him
I beg your pardon—but can you tell me how Mr Hale is And Miss Hale too I should like to know how they both are
Of course sir They are much as is to be expected Master is terribly broke down Miss Hale bears up better than likely
Mr Thornton would rather have heard that she was suffering the natural sorrow In the first place there was selfishness enough in him to have taken pleasure in the idea that his great love might come in to comfort and console her much the same kind of strange passionate pleasure which comes stinging through a mothers heart when her drooping infant nestles close to her and is dependent upon her for everything But this delicious vision of what might have been—in which in spite of all Margarets repulse he would have indulged only a few days ago—was miserably disturbed by the recollection of what he had seen near the Outwood station Miserably disturbed that is not strong enough He was haunted by the remembrance of the handsome young man with whom she stood in an attitude of such familiar confidence and the remembrance shot through him like an agony till it made him clench his hands tight in order to subdue the pain At that late hour so far from home It took a great moral effort to galvanise his trust—erewhile so perfect—in Margarets pure and exquisite maidenliness into life as soon as the effort ceased his trust dropped down dead and powerless and all sorts of wild fancies chased each other like dreams through his mind Here was a little piece of miserable gnawing confirmation She bore up better than likely under this grief She had then some hope to look to so bright that even in her affectionate nature it could come in to lighten the dark hours of a daughter newly made motherless Yes he knew how she would love He had not loved her without gaining that instinctive knowledge of what capabilities were in her Her soul would walk in glorious sunlight if any man was worthy by his power of loving to win back her love Even in her mourning she would rest with a peaceful faith upon his sympathy His sympathy Whose That other mans And that it was another was enough to make Mr Thorntons pale grave face grow doubly wan and stern at Dixons answer
I suppose I may call said he coldly On Mr Hale I mean He will perhaps admit me after tomorrow or so
He spoke as if the answer were a matter of indifference to him But it was not so For all his pain he longed to see the author of it Although he hated Margaret at times when he thought of that gentle familiar attitude and all the attendant circumstances he had a restless desire to renew her picture in his mind—a longing for the very atmosphere she breathed He was in the Charybdis of passion and must perforce circle and circle ever nearer round the fatal centre
I dare say sir master will see you He was very sorry to have to deny you the other day but circumstances was not agreeable just then
For some reason or other Dixon never named this interview that she had had with Mr Thornton to Margaret It might have been mere chance but so it was that Margaret never heard that he had attended her poor mothers funeral
CHAPTER XXXIV—FALSE AND TRUE
Truth will fail thee never never
Though thy bark be tempestdriven
Though each plank be rent and riven
Truth will bear thee on for ever
ANON
The bearing up better than likely was a terrible strain upon Margaret Sometimes she thought she must give way and cry out with pain as the sudden sharp thought came across her even during her apparently cheerful conversations with her father that she had no longer a mother About Frederick too there was great uneasiness The Sunday post intervened and interfered with their London letters and on Tuesday Margaret was surprised and disheartened to find that there was still no letter She was quite in the dark as to his plans and her father was miserable at all this uncertainty It broke in upon his lately acquired habit of sitting still in one easy chair for half a day together He kept pacing up and down the room then out of it and she heard him upon the landing opening and shutting the bedroom doors without any apparent object She tried to tranquillise him by reading aloud but it was evident he could not listen for long together How thankful she was then that she had kept to herself the additional cause for anxiety produced by their encounter with Leonards She was thankful to hear Mr Thornton announced His visit would force her fathers thoughts into another channel
He came up straight to her father whose hands he took and wrung without a word—holding them in his for a minute or two during which time his face his eyes his look told of more sympathy than could be put into words Then he turned to Margaret Not better than likely did she look Her stately beauty was dimmed with much watching and with many tears The expression on her countenance was of gentle patient sadness—nay of positive present suffering He had not meant to greet her otherwise than with his late studied coldness of demeanour but he could not help going up to her as she stood a little aside rendered timid by the uncertainty of his manner of late and saying the few necessary commonplace words in so tender a voice that her eyes filled with tears and she turned away to hide her emotion She took her work and sate down very quiet and silent Mr Thorntons heart beat quick and strong and for the time he utterly forgot the Outwood lane He tried to talk to Mr Hale and—his presence always a certain kind of pleasure to Mr Hale as his power and decision made him and his opinions a safe sure port—was unusually agreeable to her father as Margaret saw
Presently Dixon came to the door and said Miss Hale you are wanted
Dixons manner was so flurried that Margaret turned sick at heart Something had happened to Fred She had no doubt of that It was well that her father and Mr Thornton were so much occupied by their conversation
What is it Dixon asked Margaret the moment she had shut the drawingroom door
Come this way miss said Dixon opening the door of what had been Mrs Hales bedchamber now Margarets for her father refused to sleep there again after his wifes death Its nothing miss said Dixon choking a little Only a policeinspector He wants to see you miss But I dare say its about nothing at all
Did he name— asked Margaret almost inaudibly
No miss he named nothing He only asked if you lived here and if he could speak to you Martha went to the door and let him in she has shown him into masters study I went to him myself to try if that would do but no—its you miss he wants
Margaret did not speak again till her hand was on the lock of the study door Here she turned round and said Take care papa does not come down Mr Thornton is with him now
The inspector was almost daunted by the haughtiness of her manner as she entered There was something of indignation expressed in her countenance but so kept down and controlled that it gave her a superb air of disdain There was no surprise no curiosity She stood awaiting the opening of his business there Not a question did she ask
I beg your pardon maam but my duty obliges me to ask you a few plain questions A man has died at the Infirmary in consequence of a fall received at Outwood station between the hours of five and six on Thursday evening the twentysixth instant At the time this fall did not seem of much consequence but it was rendered fatal the doctors say by the presence of some internal complaint and the mans own habit of drinking
The large dark eyes gazing straight into the inspectors face dilated a little Otherwise there was no motion perceptible to his experienced observation Her lips swelled out into a richer curve than ordinary owing to the enforced tension of the muscles but he did not know what was their usual appearance so as to recognise the unwonted sullen defiance of the firm sweeping lines She never blenched or trembled She fixed him with her eye Now—as he paused before going on she said almost as if she would encourage him in telling his tale—Well—go on
It is supposed that an inquest will have to be held there is some slight evidence to prove that the blow or push or scuffle that caused the fall was provoked by this poor fellows halftipsy impertinence to a young lady walking with the man who pushed the deceased over the edge of the platform This much was observed by some one on the platform who however thought no more about the matter as the blow seemed of slight consequence There is also some reason to identify the lady with yourself in which case—
I was not there said Margaret still keeping her expressionless eyes fixed on his face with the unconscious look of a sleepwalker
The inspector bowed but did not speak The lady standing before him showed no emotion no fluttering fear no anxiety no desire to end the interview The information he had received was very vague one of the porters rushing out to be in readiness for the train had seen a scuffle at the other end of the platform between Leonards and a gentleman accompanied by a lady but heard no noise and before the train had got to its full speed after starting he had been almost knocked down by the headlong run of the enraged half intoxicated Leonards swearing and cursing awfully He had not thought any more about it till his evidence was routed out by the inspector who on making some farther inquiry at the railroad station had heard from the stationmaster that a young lady and gentleman had been there about that hour—the lady remarkably handsome—and said by some grocers assistant present at the time to be a Miss Hale living at Crampton whose family dealt at his shop There was no certainty that the one lady and gentleman were identical with the other pair but there was great probability Leonards himself had gone halfmad with rage and pain to the nearest ginpalace for comfort and his tipsy words had not been attended to by the busy waiters there they however remembered his starting up and cursing himself for not having sooner thought of the electric telegraph for some purpose unknown and they believed that he left with the idea of going there On his way overcome by pain or drink he had lain down in the road where the police had found him and taken him to the Infirmary there he had never recovered sufficient consciousness to give any distinct account of his fall although once or twice he had had glimmerings of sense sufficient to make the authorities send for the nearest magistrate in hopes that he might be able to take down the dying mans deposition of the cause of his death But when the magistrate had come he was rambling about being at sea and mixing up names of captains and lieutenants in an indistinct manner with those of his fellow porters at the railway and his last words were a curse on the Cornish trick which had he said made him a hundred pounds poorer than he ought to have been The inspector ran all this over in his mind—the vagueness of the evidence to prove that Margaret had been at the station—the unflinching calm denial which she gave to such a supposition She stood awaiting his next word with a composure that appeared supreme
Then madam I have your denial that you were the lady accompanying the gentleman who struck the blow or gave the push which caused the death of this poor man
A quick sharp pain went through Margarets brain Oh God that I knew Frederick were safe A deep observer of human countenances might have seen the momentary agony shoot out of her great gloomy eyes like the torture of some creature brought to bay But the inspector though a very keen was not a very deep observer He was a little struck notwithstanding by the form of the answer which sounded like a mechanical repetition of her first reply—not changed and modified in shape so as to meet his last question
I was not there said she slowly and heavily And all this time she never closed her eyes or ceased from that glassy dreamlike stare His quick suspicions were aroused by this dull echo of her former denial It was as if she had forced herself to one untruth and had been stunned out of all power of varying it
He put up his book of notes in a very deliberate manner Then he looked up she had not moved any more than if she had been some great Egyptian statue
I hope you will not think me impertinent when I say that I may have to call on you again I may have to summon you to appear on the inquest and prove an alibi if my witnesses it was but one who had recognised her persist in deposing to your presence at the unfortunate event He looked at her sharply She was still perfectly quiet—no change of colour or darker shadow of guilt on her proud face He thought to have seen her wince he did not know Margaret Hale He was a little abashed by her regal composure It must have been a mistake of identity He went on
It is very unlikely maam that I shall have to do anything of the kind I hope you will excuse me for doing what is only my duty although it may appear impertinent
Margaret bowed her head as he went towards the door Her lips were stiff and dry She could not speak even the common words of farewell But suddenly she walked forwards and opened the study door and preceded him to the door of the house which she threw wide open for his exit She kept her eyes upon him in the same dull fixed manner until he was fairly out of the house She shut the door and went halfway into the study then turned back as if moved by some passionate impulse and locked the door inside
Then she went into the study paused—tottered forward—paused again—swayed for an instant where she stood and fell prone on the floor in a dead swoon
CHAPTER XXXV—EXPIATION
Theres nought so finely spun
But it cometh to the sun
Mr Thornton sate on and on He felt that his company gave pleasure to Mr Hale and was touched by the halfspoken wishful entreaty that he would remain a little longer—the plaintive Dont go yet which his poor friend put forth from time to time He wondered Margaret did not return but it was with no view of seeing her that he lingered For the hour—and in the presence of one who was so thoroughly feeling the nothingness of earth—he was reasonable and selfcontrolled He was deeply interested in all her father said
Of death and of the heavy lull
And of the brain that has grown dull
It was curious how the presence of Mr Thornton had power over Mr Hale to make him unlock the secret thoughts which he kept shut up even from Margaret Whether it was that her sympathy would be so keen and show itself in so lively a manner that he was afraid of the reaction upon himself or whether it was that to his speculative mind all kinds of doubts presented themselves at such a time pleading and crying aloud to be resolved into certainties and that he knew she would have shrunk from the expression of any such doubts—nay from him himself as capable of conceiving them—whatever was the reason he could unburden himself better to Mr Thornton than to her of all the thoughts and fancies and fears that had been frostbound in his brain till now Mr Thornton said very little but every sentence he uttered added to Mr Hales reliance and regard for him Was it that he paused in the expression of some remembered agony Mr Thorntons two or three words would complete the sentence and show how deeply its meaning was entered into Was it a doubt—a fear—a wandering uncertainty seeking rest but finding none—so tearblinded were its eyes—Mr Thornton instead of being shocked seemed to have passed through that very stage of thought himself and could suggest where the exact ray of light was to be found which should make the dark places plain Man of action as he was busy in the worlds great battle there was a deeper religion binding him to God in his heart in spite of his strong wilfulness through all his mistakes than Mr Hale had ever dreamed They never spoke of such things again as it happened but this one conversation made them peculiar people to each other knit them together in a way which no loose indiscriminate talking about sacred things can ever accomplish When all are admitted how can there be a Holy of Holies
And all this while Margaret lay as still and white as death on the study floor She had sunk under her burden It had been heavy in weight and long carried and she had been very meek and patient till all at once her faith had given way and she had groped in vain for help There was a pitiful contraction of suffering upon her beautiful brows although there was no other sign of consciousness remaining The mouth—a little while ago so sullenly projected in defiance—was relaxed and livid
E par che de la sua labbia si mova
Uno spirto soave e pien damore
Chi va dicendo a lanima sospira
The first symptom of returning life was a quivering about the lips—a little mute soundless attempt at speech but the eyes were still closed and the quivering sank into stillness Then feebly leaning on her arms for an instant to steady herself Margaret gathered herself up and rose Her comb had fallen out of her hair and with an intuitive desire to efface the traces of weakness and bring herself into order again she sought for it although from time to time in the course of the search she had to sit down and recover strength Her head drooped forwards—her hands meekly laid one upon the other—she tried to recall the force of her temptation by endeavouring to remember the details which had thrown her into such deadly fright but she could not She only understood two facts—that Frederick had been in danger of being pursued and detected in London as not only guilty of manslaughter but as the more unpardonable leader of the mutiny and that she had lied to save him There was one comfort her lie had saved him if only by gaining some additional time If the inspector came again tomorrow after she had received the letter she longed for to assure her of her brothers safety she would brave shame and stand in her bitter penance—she the lofty Margaret—acknowledging before a crowded justiceroom if need were that she had been as a dog and done this thing But if he came before she heard from Frederick if he returned as he had half threatened in a few hours why she would tell that lie again though how the words would come out after all this terrible pause for reflection and selfreproach without betraying her falsehood she did not know she could not tell But her repetition of it would gain time—time for Frederick
She was roused by Dixons entrance into the room she had just been letting out Mr Thornton
He had hardly gone ten steps in the street before a passing omnibus stopped close by him and a man got down and came up to him touching his hat as he did so It was the policeinspector
Mr Thornton had obtained for him his first situation in the police and had heard from time to time of the progress of his protege but they had not often met and at first Mr Thornton did not remember him
My name is Watson—George Watson sir that you got——
Ah yes I recollect Why you are getting on famously I hear
Yes sir I ought to thank you sir But it is on a little matter of business I made so bold as to speak to you now I believe you were the magistrate who attended to take down the deposition of a poor man who died in the Infirmary last night
Yes replied Mr Thornton I went and heard some kind of a rambling statement which the clerk said was of no great use Im afraid he was but a drunken fellow though there is no doubt he came to his death by violence at last One of my mothers servants was engaged to him I believe and she is in great distress today What about him
Why sir his death is oddly mixed up with somebody in the house I saw you coming out of just now it was a Mr Hales I believe
Yes said Mr Thornton turning sharp round and looking into the inspectors face with sudden interest What about it
Why sir it seems to me that I have got a pretty distinct chain of evidence inculpating a gentleman who was walking with Miss Hale that night at the Outwood station as the man who struck or pushed Leonards off the platform and so caused his death But the young lady denies that she was there at the time
Miss Hale denies she was there repeated Mr Thornton in an altered voice Tell me what evening was it What time
About six oclock on the evening of Thursday the twentysixth
They walked on side by side in silence for a minute or two The inspector was the first to speak
You see sir there is like to be a coroners inquest and Ive got a young man who is pretty positive—at least he was at first—since he has heard of the young ladys denial he says he should not like to swear but still hes pretty positive that he saw Miss Hale at the station walking about with a gentleman not five minutes before the time when one of the porters saw a scuffle which he set down to some of Leonards impudence—but which led to the fall which caused his death And seeing you come out of the very house sir I thought I might make bold to ask if—you see its always awkward having to do with cases of disputed identity and one doesnt like to doubt the word of a respectable young woman unless one has strong proof to the contrary
And she denied having been at the station that evening repeated Mr Thornton in a low brooding tone
Yes sir twice over as distinct as could be I told her I should call again but seeing you just as I was on my way back from questioning the young man who said it was her I thought I would ask your advice both as the magistrate who saw Leonards on his deathbed and as the gentleman who got me my berth in the force
You were quite right said Mr Thornton Dont take any steps till you have seen me again
The young lady will expect me to call from what I said
I only want to delay you an hour Its now three Come to my warehouse at four
Very well sir
And they parted company Mr Thornton hurried to his warehouse and sternly forbidding his clerks to allow any one to interrupt him he went his way to his own private room and locked the door Then he indulged himself in the torture of thinking it all over and realising every detail How could he have lulled himself into the unsuspicious calm in which her tearful image had mirrored itself not two hours before till he had weakly pitied her and yearned towards her and forgotten the savage distrustful jealousy with which the sight of her—and that unknown to him—at such an hour—in such a place—had inspired him How could one so pure have stooped from her decorous and noble manner of bearing But was it decorous—was it He hated himself for the idea that forced itself upon him just for an instant—no more—and yet while it was present thrilled him with its old potency of attraction towards her image And then this falsehood—how terrible must be some dread of shame to be revealed—for after all the provocation given by such a man as Leonards was when excited by drinking might in all probability be more than enough to justify any one who came forward to state the circumstances openly and without reserve How creeping and deadly that fear which could bow down the truthful Margaret to falsehood He could almost pity her What would be the end of it She could not have considered all she was entering upon if there was an inquest and the young man came forward Suddenly he started up There should be no inquest He would save Margaret He would take the responsibility of preventing the inquest the issue of which from the uncertainty of the medical testimony which he had vaguely heard the night before from the surgeon in attendance could be but doubtful the doctors had discovered an internal disease far advanced and sure to prove fatal they had stated that death might have been accelerated by the fall or by the subsequent drinking and exposure to cold If he had but known how Margaret would have become involved in the affair—if he had but foreseen that she would have stained her whiteness by a falsehood he could have saved her by a word for the question of inquest or no inquest had hung trembling in the balance only the night before Miss Hale might love another—was indifferent and contemptuous to him—but he would yet do her faithful acts of service of which she should never know He might despise her but the woman whom he had once loved should be kept from shame and shame it would be to pledge herself to a lie in a public court or otherwise to stand and acknowledge her reason for desiring darkness rather than light
Very gray and stern did Mr Thornton look as he passed out through his wondering clerks He was away about half an hour and scarcely less stern did he look when he returned although his errand had been successful
He wrote two lines on a slip of paper put it in an envelope and sealed it up This he gave to one of the clerks saying—
I appointed Watson—he who was a packer in the warehouse and who went into the police—to call on me at four oclock I have just met with a gentleman from Liverpool who wishes to see me before he leaves town Take care to give this note to Watson he calls
The note contained these words
There will be no inquest Medical evidence not sufficient to justify it Take no further steps I have not seen the coroner but I will take the responsibility
Well thought Watson it relieves me from an awkward job None of my witnesses seemed certain of anything except the young woman She was clear and distinct enough the porter at the railroad had seen a scuffle or when he found it was likely to bring him in as a witness then it might not have been a scuffle only a little larking and Leonards might have jumped off the platform himself—he would not stick firm to anything And Jennings the grocers shopman—well he was not quite so bad but I doubt if I could have got him up to an oath after he heard that Miss Hale flatly denied it It would have been a troublesome job and no satisfaction And now I must go and tell them they wont be wanted
He accordingly presented himself again at Mr Hales that evening Her father and Dixon would fain have persuaded Margaret to go to bed but they neither of them knew the reason for her low continued refusals to do so Dixon had learnt part of the truth—but only part Margaret would not tell any human being of what she had said and she did not reveal the fatal termination to Leonards fall from the platform So Dixon curiosity combined with her allegiance to urge Margaret to go to rest which her appearance as she lay on the sofa showed but too clearly that she required She did not speak except when spoken to she tried to smile back in reply to her fathers anxious looks and words of tender enquiry but instead of a smile the wan lips resolved themselves into a sigh He was so miserably uneasy that at last she consented to go into her own room and prepare for going to bed She was indeed inclined to give up the idea that the inspector would call again that night as it was already past nine oclock
She stood by her father holding on to the back of his chair
You will go to bed soon papa wont you Dont sit up alone
What his answer was she did not hear the words were lost in the far smaller point of sound that magnified itself to her fears and filled her brain There was a low ring at the doorbell
She kissed her father and glided downstairs with a rapidity of motion of which no one would have thought her capable who had seen her the minute before She put aside Dixon
Dont come I will open the door I know it is him—I can—I must manage it all myself
As you please miss said Dixon testily but in a moment afterwards she added But youre not fit for it You are more dead than alive
Am I said Margaret turning round and showing her eyes all aglow with strange fire her cheeks flushed though her lips were baked and livid still
She opened the door to the Inspector and preceded him into the study She placed the candle on the table and snuffed it carefully before she turned round and faced him
You are late said she Well She held her breath for the answer
Im sorry to have given any unnecessary trouble maam for after all theyve given up all thoughts of holding an inquest I have had other work to do and other people to see or I should have been here before now
Then it is ended said Margaret There is to be no further enquiry
I believe Ive got Mr Thorntons note about me said the Inspector fumbling in his pocketbook
Mr Thorntons said Margaret
Yes hes a magistrate—ah here it is She could not see to read it—no not although she was close to the candle The words swam before her But she held it in her hand and looked at it as if she were intently studying it
Im sure maam its a great weight off my mind for the evidence was so uncertain you see that the man had received any blow at all—and if any question of identity came in it so complicated the case as I told Mr Thornton—
Mr Thornton said Margaret again
I met him this morning just as he was coming out of this house and as hes an old friend of mine besides being the magistrate who saw Leonards last night I made bold to tell him of my difficulty
Margaret sighed deeply She did not want to hear any more she was afraid alike of what she had heard and of what she might hear She wished that the man would go She forced herself to speak
Thank you for calling It is very late I dare say it is past ten oclock Oh here is the note she continued suddenly interpreting the meaning of the hand held out to receive it He was putting it up when she said I think it is a cramped dazzling sort of writing I could not read it will you just read it to me
He read it aloud to her
Thank you You told Mr Thornton that I was not there
Oh of course maam Im sorry now that I acted upon information which seems to have been so erroneous At first the young man was so positive and now he says that he doubted all along and hopes that his mistake wont have occasioned you such annoyance as to lose their shop your custom Good night maam
Good night She rang the bell for Dixon to show him out As Dixon returned up the passage Margaret passed her swiftly
It is all right said she without looking at Dixon and before the woman could follow her with further questions she had sped upstairs and entered her bedchamber and bolted her door
She threw herself dressed as she was upon her bed She was too much exhausted to think Half an hour or more elapsed before the cramped nature of her position and the chilliness supervening upon great fatigue had the power to rouse her numbed faculties Then she began to recall to combine to wonder The first idea that presented itself to her was that all this sickening alarm on Fredericks behalf was over that the strain was past The next was a wish to remember every word of the Inspectors which related to Mr Thornton When had he seen him What had he said What had Mr Thornton done What were the exact words of his note And until she could recollect even to the placing or omitting an article the very expressions which he had used in the note her mind refused to go on with its progress But the next conviction she came to was clear enough—Mr Thornton had seen her close to Outwood station on the fatal Thursday night and had been told of her denial that she was there She stood as a liar in his eyes She was a liar But she had no thought of penitence before God nothing but chaos and night surrounded the one lurid fact that in Mr Thorntons eyes she was degraded She cared not to think even to herself of how much of excuse she might plead That had nothing to do with Mr Thornton she never dreamed that he or any one else could find cause for suspicion in what was so natural as her accompanying her brother but what was really false and wrong was known to him and he had a right to judge her Oh Frederick Frederick she cried what have I not sacrificed for you Even when she fell asleep her thoughts were compelled to travel the same circle only with exaggerated and monstrous circumstances of pain
When she awoke a new idea flashed upon her with all the brightness of the morning Mr Thornton had learnt her falsehood before he went to the coroner that suggested the thought that he had possibly been influenced so to do with a view of sparing her the repetition of her denial But she pushed this notion on one side with the sick wilfulness of a child If it were so she felt no gratitude to him as it only showed her how keenly he must have seen that she was disgraced already before he took such unwonted pains to spare her any further trial of truthfulness which had already failed so signally She would have gone through the whole—she would have perjured herself to save Frederick rather—far rather—than Mr Thornton should have had the knowledge that prompted him to interfere to save her What illfate brought him in contact with the Inspector What made him be the very magistrate sent for to receive Leonards deposition What had Leonards said How much of it was intelligible to Mr Thornton who might already for aught she knew be aware of the old accusation against Frederick through their mutual friend Mr Bell If so he had striven to save the son who came in defiance of the law to attend his mothers deathbed And under this idea she could feel grateful—not yet if ever she should if his interference had been prompted by contempt Oh had any one such just cause to feel contempt for her Mr Thornton above all people on whom she had looked down from her imaginary heights till now She suddenly found herself at his feet and was strangely distressed at her fall She shrank from following out the premises to their conclusion and so acknowledging to herself how much she valued his respect and good opinion Whenever this idea presented itself to her at the end of a long avenue of thoughts she turned away from following that path—she would not believe in it
It was later than she fancied for in the agitation of the previous night she had forgotten to wind up her watch and Mr Hale had given especial orders that she was not to be disturbed by the usual awakening By and by the door opened cautiously and Dixon put her head in Perceiving that Margaret was awake she came forwards with a letter
Heres something to do you good miss A letter from Master Frederick
Thank you Dixon How late it is
She spoke very languidly and suffered Dixon to lay it on the counterpane before her without putting out a hand to lake it
You want your breakfast Im sure I will bring it you in a minute Master has got the tray all ready I know
Margaret did not reply she let her go she felt that she must be alone before she could open that letter She opened it at last The first thing that caught her eye was the date two days earlier than she received it He had then written when he had promised and their alarm might have been spared But she would read the letter and see It was hasty enough but perfectly satisfactory He had seen Henry Lennox who knew enough of the case to shake his head over it in the first instance, and tell him he had done a very daring thing in returning to England with such an accusation backed by such powerful influence hanging over him But when they had come to talk it over Mr Lennox had acknowledged that there might be some chance of his acquittal if he could but prove his statements by credible witnesses—that in such case it might be worth while to stand his trial otherwise it would be a great risk He would examine—he would take every pains It struck me said Frederick that your introduction little sister of mine went a long way Is it so He made many inquiries I can assure you He seemed a sharp intelligent fellow and in good practice too to judge from the signs of business and the number of clerks about him But these may be only lawyers dodges I have just caught a packet on the point of sailing—I am off in five minutes I may have to come back to England again on this business so keep my visit secret I shall send my father some rare old sherry such as you cannot buy in England—such stuff as Ive got in the bottle before me He needs something of the kind—my dear love to him—God bless him Im sure—heres my cab PS—What an escape that was Take care you dont breathe of my having been—not even to the Shaws
Margaret turned to the envelope it was marked Too late The letter had probably been trusted to some careless waiter who had forgotten to post it Oh what slight cobwebs of chances stand between us and Temptation Frederick had been safe and out of England twenty nay thirty hours ago and it was only about seventeen hours since she had told a falsehood to baffle pursuit which even then would have been vain How faithless she had been Where now was her proud motto Fais ce que dois advienne que pourra If she had but dared to bravely tell the truth as regarded herself defying them to find out what she refused to tell concerning another how light of heart she would now have felt Not humbled before God as having failed in trust towards Him not degraded and abased in Mr Thorntons sight She caught herself up at this with a miserable tremor here was she classing his low opinion of her alongside with the displeasure of God How was it that he haunted her imagination so persistently What could it be Why did she care for what he thought in spite of all her pride in spite of herself She believed that she could have borne the sense of Almighty displeasure because He knew all and could read her penitence and hear her cries for help in time to come But Mr Thornton—why did she tremble and hide her face in the pillow What strong feeling had overtaken her at last
She sprang out of bed and prayed long and earnestly It soothed and comforted her so to open her heart But as soon as she reviewed her position she found the sting was still there that she was not good enough nor pure enough to be indifferent to the lowered opinion of a fellow creature that the thought of how he must be looking upon her with contempt stood between her and her sense of wrongdoing She took her letter in to her father as soon as she was drest There was so slight an allusion to their alarm at the railroad station that Mr Hale passed over it without paying any attention to it Indeed beyond the mere fact of Frederick having sailed undiscovered and unsuspected he did not gather much from the letter at the time he was so uneasy about Margarets pallid looks She seemed continually on the point of weeping
You are sadly overdone Margaret It is no wonder But you must let me nurse you now
He made her lie down on the sofa and went for a shawl to cover her with His tenderness released her tears and she cried bitterly
Poor child—poor child said he looking fondly at her as she lay with her face to the wall shaking with her sobs After a while they ceased and she began to wonder whether she durst give herself the relief of telling her father of all her trouble But there were more reasons against it than for it The only one for it was the relief to herself and against it was the thought that it would add materially to her fathers nervousness if it were indeed necessary for Frederick to come to England again that he would dwell on the circumstance of his sons having caused the death of a man however unwittingly and unwillingly that this knowledge would perpetually recur to trouble him in various shapes of exaggeration and distortion from the simple truth And about her own great fault—he would be distressed beyond measure at her want of courage and faith yet perpetually troubled to make excuses for her Formerly Margaret would have come to him as priest as well as father to tell him of her temptation and her sin but latterly they had not spoken much on such subjects and she knew not how in his change of opinions he would reply if the depth of her soul called unto his No she would keep her secret and bear the burden alone Alone she would go before God and cry for His absolution Alone she would endure her disgraced position in the opinion of Mr Thornton She was unspeakably touched by the tender efforts of her father to think of cheerful subjects on which to talk and so to take her thoughts away from dwelling on all that had happened of late It was some months since he had been so talkative as he was this day He would not let her sit up and offended Dixon desperately by insisting on waiting upon her himself
At last she smiled a poor weak little smile but it gave him the truest pleasure
It seems strange to think that what gives us most hope for the future should be called Dolores said Margaret The remark was more in character with her father than with her usual self but today they seemed to have changed natures
Her mother was a Spaniard I believe that accounts for her religion Her father was a stiff Presbyterian when I knew him But it is a very soft and pretty name
How young she is—younger by fourteen months than I am Just the age that Edith was when she was engaged to Captain Lennox Papa we will go and see them in Spain
He shook his head But he said If you wish it Margaret Only let us come back here It would seem unfair—unkind to your mother who always Im afraid disliked Milton so much if we left it now she is lying here and cannot go with us No dear you shall go and see them and bring me back a report of my Spanish daughter
No papa I wont go without you Who is to take care of you when I am gone
I should like to know which of us is taking care of the other But if you went I should persuade Mr Thornton to let me give him double lessons We would work up the classics famously That would be a perpetual interest You might go on and see Edith at Corfu if you liked
Margaret did not speak all at once Then she said rather gravely Thank you papa But I dont want to go We will hope that Mr Lennox will manage so well that Frederick may bring Dolores to see us when they are married And as for Edith the regiment wont remain much longer in Corfu Perhaps we shall see both of them here before another year is out
Mr Hales cheerful subjects had come to an end Some painful recollection had stolen across his mind and driven him into silence Byandby Margaret said
Papa—did you see Nicholas Higgins at the funeral He was there and Mary too Poor fellow it was his way of showing sympathy He has a good warm heart under his bluff abrupt ways
I am sure of it replied Mr Hale I saw it all along even while you tried to persuade me that he was all sorts of bad things We will go and see them tomorrow if you are strong enough to walk so far
Oh yes I want to see them We did not pay Mary—or rather she refused to take it Dixon says We will go so as to catch him just after his dinner and before he goes to his work
Towards evening Mr Hale said
I half expected Mr Thornton would have called He spoke of a book yesterday which he had and which I wanted to see He said he would try and bring it today
Margaret sighed She knew he would not come He would be too delicate to run the chance of meeting her while her shame must be so fresh in his memory The very mention of his name renewed her trouble and produced a relapse into the feeling of depressed preoccupied exhaustion She gave way to listless languor Suddenly it struck her that this was a strange manner to show her patience or to reward her father for his watchful care of her all through the day She sate up and offered to read aloud His eyes were failing and he gladly accepted her proposal She read well she gave the due emphasis but had any one asked her when she had ended the meaning of what she had been reading she could not have told She was smitten with a feeling of ingratitude to Mr Thornton inasmuch as in the morning she had refused to accept the kindness he had shown her in making further inquiry from the medical men so as to obviate any inquest being held Oh she was grateful She had been cowardly and false and had shown her cowardliness and falsehood in action that could not be recalled but she was not ungrateful It sent a glow to her heart to know how she could feel towards one who had reason to despise her His cause for contempt was so just that she should have respected him less if she had thought he did not feel contempt It was a pleasure to feel how thoroughly she respected him He could not prevent her doing that it was the one comfort in all this misery
Late in the evening the expected book arrived with Mr Thorntons kind regards and wishes to know how Mr Hale is
Say that I am much better Dixon but that Miss Hale—
No papa said Margaret eagerly—dont say anything about me He does not ask
My dear child how you are shivering said her father a few minutes afterwards You must go to bed directly You have turned quite pale
Margaret did not refuse to go though she was loth to leave her father alone She needed the relief of solitude after a day of busy thinking and busier repenting
But she seemed much as usual the next day the lingering gravity and sadness and the occasional absence of mind were not unnatural symptoms in the early days of grief And almost in proportion to her reestablishment in health was her fathers relapse into his abstracted musing upon the wife he had lost and the past era in his life that was closed to him for ever
CHAPTER XXXVI—UNION NOT ALWAYS STRENGTH
The steps of the bearers heavy and slow
The sobs of the mourners deep and low
SHELLEY
At the time arranged the previous day they set out on their walk to see Nicholas Higgins and his daughter They both were reminded of their recent loss by a strange kind of shyness in their new habiliments and in the fact that it was the first time for many weeks that they had deliberately gone out together They drew very close to each other in unspoken sympathy
Nicholas was sitting by the fireside in his accustomed corner but he had not his accustomed pipe He was leaning his head upon his hand his arm resting on his knee He did not get up when he saw them though Margaret could read the welcome in his eye
Sit ye down sit ye down Fires welly out said he giving it a vigorous poke as if to turn attention away from himself He was rather disorderly to be sure with a black unshaven beard of several days growth making his pale face look yet paler and a jacket which would have been all the better for patching
We thought we should have a good chance of finding you just after dinnertime said Margaret
We have had our sorrow too since we saw you said Mr Hale
Ay ay Sorrows is more plentiful than dinners just now I reckon my dinner hour stretches all oer the day yore pretty sure of finding me
Are you out of work asked Margaret
Ay he replied shortly Then after a moments silence he added looking up for the first time Im not wanting brass Dunno yo think it Bess poor lass had a little stock under her pillow ready to slip into my hand last moment and Mary is fustiancutting But Im out o work a the same
We owe Mary some money said Mr Hale before Margarets sharp pressure on his arm could arrest the words
If hoo takes it Ill turn her out o doors Ill bide inside these four walls and shell bide out Thats a
But we owe her many thanks for her kind service began Mr Hale again
I neer thanked yor daughter theer for her deeds o love to my poor wench I neer could find th words Ise have to begin and try now if yo start making an ado about what little Mary could sarve yo
Is it because of the strike youre out of work asked Margaret gently
Strikes ended Its oer for this time Im out o work because I neer asked for it And I neer asked for it because good words is scarce and bad words is plentiful
He was in a mood to take a surly pleasure in giving answers that were like riddles But Margaret saw that he would like to be asked for the explanation
And good words are—
Asking for work I reckon thems almost the best words that men can say Gi me work means and Ill do it like a man Thems good words
And bad words are refusing you work when you ask for it
Ay Bad words is saying Aha my fine chap Yove been true to yor order and Ill be true to mine Yo did the best yo could for them as wanted help thats yor way of being true to yor kind and Ill be true to mine Yove been a poor fool as knowed no better nor be a true faithful fool So go and be d—— d to yo Theres no work for yo here Thems bad words Im not a fool and if I was folk ought to ha taught me how to be wise after their fashion I could mappen ha learnt if any one had tried to teach me
Would it not be worth while said Mr Hale to ask your old master if he would take you back again It might be a poor chance but it would be a chance
He looked up again with a sharp glance at the questioner and then tittered a low and bitter laugh
Measter if its no offence Ill ask yo a question or two in my turn
Youre quite welcome said Mr Hale
I reckon yon some way of earning your bread Folk seldom lives i Milton just for pleasure if they can live anywhere else
You are quite right I have some independent property but my intention in settling in Milton was to become a private tutor
To teach folk Well I reckon they pay yo for teaching them dunnot they
Yes replied Mr Hale smiling I teach in order to get paid
And them that pays yo dun they tell yo whatten to do or whatten not to do wi the money they gives you in just payment for your pains—in fair exchange like
No to be sure not
They dunnot say Yo may have a brother or a friend as dear as a brother who wants this here brass for a purpose both yo and he think right but yo mun promise not give it to him Yo may see a good use as yo think to put yor money to but we dont think it good and so if yo spend it athatens well just leave off dealing with yo They dunnot say that dun they
No to be sure not
Would yo stand it if they did
It would be some very hard pressure that would make me even think of submitting to such dictation
Theres not the pressure on all the broad earth that would make me said Nicholas Higgins Now yove got it Yove hit the bulls eye Hampers—thats where I worked—makes their men pledge emselves theyll not give a penny to help th Union or keep turnouts fro clemming They may pledge and make pledge continued he scornfully they nobbut make liars and hypocrites And thats a less sin to my mind to making mens hearts so hard that theyll not do a kindness to them as needs it or help on the right and just cause though it goes again the strong hand But Ill neer forswear mysel for a the work the king could gie me Im a member o the Union and I think its the only thing to do the workman any good And Ive been a turnout and known what it were to clem so if I get a shilling sixpence shall go to them if they axe it from me Consequence is I dunnot see where Im to get a shilling
Is that rule about not contributing to the Union in force at all the mills asked Margaret
I cannot say Its a new regulation at ourn and I reckon theyll find that they cannot stick to it But its in force now Byandby theyll find out tyrants makes liars
There was a little pause Margaret was hesitating whether she should say what was in her mind she was unwilling to irritate one who was already gloomy and despondent enough At last out it came But in her soft tones and with her reluctant manner showing that she was unwilling to say anything unpleasant it did not seem to annoy Higgins only to perplex him
Do you remember poor Boucher saying that the Union was a tyrant I think he said it was the worst tyrant of all And I remember at the time I agreed with him
It was a long while before he spoke He was resting his head on his two hands and looking down into the fire so she could not read the expression on his face
Ill not deny but what th Union finds it necessary to force a man into his own good Ill speak truth A man leads a dree life whos not i th Union But once i the Union his interests are taken care on better nor he could do it for himsel or by himsel for that matter Its the only way working men can get their rights by all joining together More the members more chance for each one separate man having justice done him Government takes care o fools and madmen and if any man is inclined to do himsel or his neighbour a hurt it puts a bit of a check on him whether he likes it or no Thats all we do i th Union We cant clap folk into prison but we can make a mans life so heavy to be borne that hes obliged to come in and be wise and helpful in spite of himself Boucher were a fool all along and neer a worse fool than at th last
He did you harm asked Margaret
Ay that did he We had public opinion on our side till he and his sort began rioting and breaking laws It were all oer wi the strike then
Then would it not have been far better to have left him alone and not forced him to join the Union He did you no good and you drove him mad
Margaret said her father in a low and warning tone for he saw the cloud gathering on Higginss face
I like her said Higgins suddenly Hoo speaks plain out whats in her mind Hoo doesnt comprehend th Union for all that Its a great power its our only power I ha read a bit o poetry about a plough going oer a daisy as made tears come into my eyes afore Id other cause for crying But the chap neer stopped driving the plough Ise warrant for all he were pitiful about the daisy Hed too much motherwit for that Th Unions the plough making ready the land for harvesttime Such as Boucher—twould be settin him up too much to liken him to a daisy hes liker a weed lounging over the ground—mun just make up their mind to be put out o the way Im sore vexed wi him just now So mappen I dunnot speak him fair I could go oer him wi a plough mysel wi a the pleasure in life
Why What has he been doing Anything fresh
Ay to be sure Hes neer out o mischief that man First of a he must go raging like a mad fool and kick up yon riot Then hed to go into hiding where hed a been yet if Thornton had followed him out as Id hoped he would ha done But Thornton having got his own purpose didnt care to go on wi the prosecution for the riot So Boucher slunk back again to his house He neer showed himsel abroad for a day or two He had that grace And then where think ye that he went Why to Hampers Damn him He went wi his mealymouthed face that turns me sick to look at aasking for work though he knowed well enough the new rule o pledging themselves to give nought to th Unions nought to help the starving turnout Why hed a clemmed to death if th Union had na helped him in his pinch There he went ossing to promise aught and pledge himsel to aught—to tell a he knowd on our proceedings the goodfornothing Judas But Ill say this for Hamper and thank him for it at my dying day he drove Boucher away and would na listen to him—neer a word—though folk standing by says the traitor cried like a babby
Oh how shocking how pitiful exclaimed Margaret Higgins I dont know you today Dont you see how youve made Boucher what he is by driving him into the Union against his will—without his heart going with it You have made him what he is
Made him what he is What was he
Gathering gathering along the narrow street came a hollow measured sound now forcing itself on their attention Many voices were hushed and low many steps were heard not moving onwards at least not with any rapidity or steadiness of motion but as if circling round one spot Yes there was one distinct slow tramp of feet which made itself a clear path through the air and reached their ears the measured laboured walk of men carrying a heavy burden They were all drawn towards the housedoor by some irresistible impulse impelled thither—not by a poor curiosity but as if by some solemn blast
Six men walked in the middle of the road three of them being policemen They carried a door taken off its hinges upon their shoulders on which lay some dead human creature and from each side of the door there were constant droppings All the street turned out to see and seeing to accompany the procession each one questioning the bearers who answered almost reluctantly at last so often had they told the tale
We found him i th brook in the field beyond there
Th brook—why theres not water enough to drown him
He was a determined chap He lay with his face downwards He was sick enough o living choose what cause he had for it
Higgins crept up to Margarets side and said in a weak piping kind of voice Its not John Boucher He had na spunk enough Sure Its not John Boucher Why they are a looking this way Listen Ive a singing in my head and I cannot hear
They put the door down carefully upon the stones and all might see the poor drowned wretch—his glassy eyes one halfopen staring right upwards to the sky Owing to the position in which he had been found lying his face was swollen and discoloured besides his skin was stained by the water in the brook which had been used for dyeing purposes The fore part of his head was bald but the hair grew thin and long behind and every separate lock was a conduit for water Through all these disfigurements Margaret recognised John Boucher It seemed to her so sacrilegious to be peering into that poor distorted agonised face that by a flash of instinct she went forwards and softly covered the dead mans countenance with her handkerchief The eyes that saw her do this followed her as she turned away from her pious office and were thus led to the place where Nicholas Higgins stood like one rooted to the spot The men spoke together and then one of them came up to Higgins who would have fain shrunk back into his house
Higgins thou knowed him Thou mun go tell the wife Do it gently man but do it quick for we canna leave him here long
I canna go said Higgins Dunnot ask me I canna face her
Thou knows her best said the man Wen done a deal in bringing him here—thou take thy share
I canna do it said Higgins Im welly felled wi seeing him We wasnt friends and now hes dead
Well if thou wunnot thou wunnot Some one mun though Its a dree task but its a chance every minute as she doesnt hear on it in some rougher way nor a person going to make her let on by degrees as it were
Papa do you go said Margaret in a low voice
If I could—if I had time to think of what I had better say but all at once—— Margaret saw that her father was indeed unable He was trembling from head to foot
I will go said she
Bless yo miss it will be a kind act for shes been but a sickly sort of body I hear and few hereabouts know much on her
Margaret knocked at the closed door but there was such a noise as of many little illordered children that she could hear no reply indeed she doubted if she was heard and as every moment of delay made her recoil from her task more and more she opened the door and went in shutting it after her and even unseen to the woman fastening the bolt
Mrs Boucher was sitting in a rockingchair on the other side of the illreddup fireplace it looked as if the house had been untouched for days by any effort at cleanliness
Margaret said something she hardly knew what her throat and mouth were so dry and the childrens noise completely prevented her from being heard She tried again
How are you Mrs Boucher But very poorly Im afraid
Ive no chance o being well said she querulously Im left alone to manage these childer and nought for to give em for to keep em quiet John should na ha left me and me so poorly
How long is it since he went away
Four days sin No one would give him work here and hed to go on tramp toward Greenfield But he might ha been back afore this or sent me some word if hed getten work He might——
Oh dont blame him said Margaret He felt it deeply Im sure——
Willto hold thy din and let me hear the lady speak addressing herself in no very gentle voice to a little urchin of about a year old She apologetically continued to Margaret Hes always mithering me for daddy and butty and I ha no butties to give him and daddys away and forgotten us a I think Hes his fathers darling he is said she with a sudden turn of mood and dragging the child up to her knee she began kissing it fondly
Margaret laid her hand on the womans arm to arrest her attention Their eyes met
Poor little fellow said Margaret slowly he _was_ his fathers darling
He _is_ his fathers darling said the woman rising hastily and standing face to face with Margaret Neither of them spoke for a moment or two Then Mrs Boucher began in a low growling tone gathering in wildness as she went on He _is_ his fathers darling I say Poor folk can love their childer as well as rich Why dunno yo speak Why dun yo stare at me wi your great pitiful eyes Wheres John Weak as she was she shook Margaret to force out an answer Oh my God said she understanding the meaning of that tearful look She sank back into the chair Margaret took up the child and put him into her arms
He loved him said she
Ay said the woman shaking her head he loved us a We had some one to love us once Its a long time ago but when he were in life and with us he did love us he did He loved this babby mappen the best on us but he loved me and I loved him though I was calling him five minutes agone Are yo sure hes dead said she trying to get up If its only that hes ill and like to die they may bring him round yet Im but an ailing creature mysel—Ive been ailing this long time
But he is dead—he is drowned
Folk are brought round after theyre deaddrowned Whatten was I thinking of to sit still when I should be stirring mysel Here whisth thee child—whisth thee tak this tak aught to play wi but dunnot cry while my hearts breaking Oh where is my strength gone to Oh John—husband
Margaret saved her from falling by catching her in her arms She sate down in the rocking chair and held the woman upon her knees her head lying on Margarets shoulder The other children clustered together in affright began to understand the mystery of the scene but the ideas came slowly for their brains were dull and languid of perception They set up such a cry of despair as they guessed the truth that Margaret knew not how to bear it Johnnys cry was loudest of them all though he knew not why he cried poor little fellow
The mother quivered as she lay in Margarets arms Margaret heard a noise at the door
Open it Open it quick said she to the eldest child Its bolted make no noise—be very still Oh papa let them go upstairs very softly and carefully and perhaps she will not hear them She has fainted—thats all
Its as well for her poor creature said a woman following in the wake of the bearers of the dead But yore not fit to hold her Stay Ill run fetch a pillow and well let her down easy on the floor
This helpful neighbour was a great relief to Margaret she was evidently a stranger to the house a newcomer in the district indeed but she was so kind and thoughtful that Margaret felt she was no longer needed and that it would be better perhaps to set an example of clearing the house which was filled with idle if sympathising gazers
She looked round for Nicholas Higgins He was not there So she spoke to the woman who had taken the lead in placing Mrs Boucher on the floor
Can you give all these people a hint that they had better leave in quietness So that when she comes round she should only find one or two that she knows about her Papa will you speak to the men and get them to go away She cannot breathe poor thing with this crowd about her
Margaret was kneeling down by Mrs Boucher and bathing her face with vinegar but in a few minutes she was surprised at the gush of fresh air She looked round and saw a smile pass between her father and the woman
What is it asked she
Only our good friend here replied her father hit on a capital expedient for clearing the place
I bid em begone and each take a child with em and to mind that they were orphans and their mother a widow It was who could do most and the childer are sure of a bellyful today and of kindness too Does hoo know how he died
No said Margaret I could not tell her all at once
Hoo mun be told because of th Inquest See Hoos coming round shall you or I do it or mappen your father would be best
No you you said Margaret
They awaited her perfect recovery in silence Then the neighbour woman sat down on the floor and took Mrs Bouchers head and shoulders on her lap
Neighbour said she your man is dead Guess yo how he died
He were drowned said Mrs Boucher feebly beginning to cry for the first time at this rough probing of her sorrows
He were found drowned He were coming home very hopeless o aught on earth He thought God could na be harder than men mappen not so hard mappen as tender as a mother mappen tenderer Im not saying he did right and Im not saying he did wrong All I say is may neither me nor mine ever have his sore heart or we may do like things
He has left me alone wi a these children moaned the widow less distressed at the manner of the death than Margaret expected but it was of a piece with her helpless character to feel his loss as principally affecting herself and her children
Not alone said Mr Hale solemnly Who is with you Who will take up your cause The widow opened her eyes wide and looked at the new speaker of whose presence she had not been aware till then
Who has promised to be a father to the fatherless continued he
But Ive getten six children sir and the eldest not eight years of age Im not meaning for to doubt His power sir—only it needs a deal o trust and she began to cry afresh
Hooll be better able to talk tomorrow sir said the neighbour Best comfort now would be the feel of a child at her heart Im sorry they took the babby
Ill go for it said Margaret And in a few minutes she returned carrying Johnnie his face all smeared with eating and his hands loaded with treasures in the shape of shells and bits of crystal and the head of a plaster figure She placed him in his mothers arms
There said the woman now you go Theyll cry together and comfort together better nor any one but a child can do Ill stop with her as long as Im needed and if yo come tomorrow yo can have a deal o wise talk with her that shes not up to today
As Margaret and her father went slowly up the street she paused at Higginss closed door
Shall we go in asked her father I was thinking of him too
They knocked There was no answer so they tried the door It was bolted but they thought they heard him moving within
Nicholas said Margaret There was no answer and they might have gone away believing the house to be empty if there had not been some accidental fall as of a book within
Nicholas said Margaret again It is only us Wont you let us come in
No said he I spoke as plain as I could bout using words when I bolted th door Let me be this day
Mr Hale would have urged their desire but Margaret placed her finger on his lips
I dont wonder at it said she I myself long to be alone It seems the only thing to do one good after a day like this
CHAPTER XXXVII—LOOKING SOUTH
A spade a rake a hoe
A pickaxe or a bill
A hook to reap or a scythe to mow
A flail or what ye will—
And heres a ready hand
To ply the needful tool
And skilld enough by lessons rough
In Labours rugged school
HOOD
Higginss door was locked the next day when they went to pay their call on the widow Boucher but they learnt this time from an officious neighbour that he was really from home He had however been in to see Mrs Boucher before starting on his days business whatever that was It was but an unsatisfactory visit to Mrs Boucher she considered herself as an illused woman by her poor husbands suicide and there was quite germ of truth enough in this idea to make it a very difficult one to refute Still it was unsatisfactory to see how completely her thoughts were turned upon herself and her own position and this selfishness extended even to her relations with her children whom she considered as incumbrances even in the very midst of her somewhat animal affection for them Margaret tried to make acquaintances with one or two of them while her father strove to raise the widows thoughts into some higher channel than that of mere helpless querulousness She found that the children were truer and simpler mourners than the widow Daddy had been a kind daddy to them each could tell in their eager stammering way of some tenderness shown some indulgence granted by the lost father
Is yon thing upstairs really him it doesna look like him Im feared on it and I never was feared o daddy
Margarets heart bled to hear that the mother in her selfish requirement of sympathy had taken her children upstairs to see their disfigured father It was intermingling the coarseness of horror with the profoundness of natural grief She tried to turn their thoughts in some other direction on what they could do for mother on what—for this was a more efficacious way of putting it—what father would have wished them to do Margaret was more successful than Mr Hale in her efforts The children seeing their little duties lie in action close around them began to try each one to do something that she suggested towards redding up the slatternly room But her father set too high a standard and too abstract a view before the indolent invalid She could not rouse her torpid mind into any vivid imagination of what her husbands misery might have been before he had resorted to the last terrible step she could only look upon it as it affected herself she could not enter into the enduring mercy of the God who had not specially interposed to prevent the water from drowning her prostrate husband and although she was secretly blaming her husband for having fallen into such drear despair and denying that he had any excuse for his last rash act she was inveterate in her abuse of all who could by any possibility be supposed to have driven him to such desperation The masters—Mr Thornton in particular whose mill had been attacked by Boucher and who after the warrant had been issued for his apprehension on the charge of rioting had caused it to be withdrawn—the Union of which Higgins was the representative to the poor woman—the children so numerous so hungry and so noisy—all made up one great army of personal enemies whose fault it was that she was now a helpless widow
Margaret heard enough of this unreasonableness to dishearten her and when they came away she found it impossible to cheer her father
It is the town life said she Their nerves are quickened by the haste and bustle and speed of everything around them to say nothing of the confinement in these pentup houses which of itself is enough to induce depression and worry of spirits Now in the country people live so much more out of doors even children and even in the winter
But people must live in towns And in the country some get such stagnant habits of mind that they are almost fatalists
Yes I acknowledge that I suppose each mode of life produces its own trials and its own temptations The dweller in towns must find it as difficult to be patient and calm as the countrybred man must find it to be active and equal to unwonted emergencies Both must find it hard to realise a future of any kind the one because the present is so living and hurrying and close around him the other because his life tempts him to revel in the mere sense of animal existence not knowing of and consequently not caring for any pungency of pleasure for the attainment of which he can plan and deny himself and look forward
And thus both the necessity for engrossment and the stupid content in the present produce the same effects But this poor Mrs Boucher how little we can do for her
And yet we dare not leave her without our efforts although they may seem so useless Oh papa its a hard world to live in
So it is my child We feel it so just now at any rate but we have been very happy even in the midst of our sorrow What a pleasure Fredericks visit was
Yes that it was said Margaret brightly It was such a charming snatched forbidden thing But she suddenly stopped speaking She had spoiled the remembrance of Fredericks visit to herself by her own cowardice Of all faults the one she most despised in others was the want of bravery the meanness of heart which leads to untruth And here had she been guilty of it Then came the thought of Mr Thorntons cognisance of her falsehood She wondered if she should have minded detection half so much from any one else She tried herself in imagination with her Aunt Shaw and Edith with her father with Captain and Mr Lennox with Frederick The thought of the last knowing what she had done even in his own behalf was the most painful for the brother and sister were in the first flush of their mutual regard and love but even any fall in Fredericks opinion was as nothing to the shame the shrinking shame she felt at the thought of meeting Mr Thornton again And yet she longed to see him to get it over to understand where she stood in his opinion Her cheeks burnt as she recollected how proudly she had implied an objection to trade in the early days of their acquaintance because it too often led to the deceit of passing off inferior for superior goods in the one branch of assuming credit for wealth and resources not possessed in the other She remembered Mr Thorntons look of calm disdain as in few words he gave her to understand that in the great scheme of commerce all dishonourable ways of acting were sure to prove injurious in the long run and that testing such actions simply according to the poor standard of success there was folly and not wisdom in all such and every kind of deceit in trade as well as in other things She remembered—she then strong in her own untempted truth—asking him if he did not think that buying in the cheapest and selling in the dearest market proved some want of the transparent justice which is so intimately connected with the idea of truth and she had used the word chivalric—and her father had corrected her with the higher word Christian and so drawn the argument upon himself while she sate silent by with a slight feeling of contempt
No more contempt for her—no more talk about the chivalric Henceforward she must feel humiliated and disgraced in his sight But when should she see him Her heart leaped up in apprehension at every ring of the doorbell and yet when it fell down to calmness she felt strangely saddened and sick at heart at each disappointment It was very evident that her father expected to see him and was surprised that he did not come The truth was that there were points in their conversation the other night on which they had no time then to enlarge but it had been understood that if possible on the succeeding evening—if not then at least the very first evening that Mr Thornton could command—they should meet for further discussion Mr Hale had looked forward to this meeting ever since they had parted He had not yet resumed the instruction to his pupils which he had relinquished at the commencement of his wifes more serious illness so he had fewer occupations than usual and the great interest of the last day or so Bouchers suicide had driven him back with more eagerness than ever upon his speculations He was restless all evening He kept saying I quite expected to have seen Mr Thornton I think the messenger who brought the book last night must have had some note and forgot to deliver it Do you think there has been any message left today
I will go and inquire papa said Margaret after the changes on these sentences had been rung once or twice Stay theres a ring She sate down instantly and bent her head attentively over her work She heard a step on the stairs but it was only one and she knew it was Dixons She lifted up her head and sighed and believed she felt glad
Its that Higgins sir He wants to see you or else Miss Hale Or it might be Miss Hale first and then you sir for hes in a strange kind of way
He had better come up here Dixon and then he can see us both and choose which he likes for his listener
Oh very well sir Ive no wish to hear what hes got to say Im sure only if you could see his shoes Im sure youd say the kitchen was the fitter place
He can wipe them I suppose said Mr Hale So Dixon flung off to bid him walk upstairs She was a little mollified however when he looked at his feet with a hesitating air and then sitting down on the bottom stair he took off the offending shoes and without a word walked upstairs
Sarvant sir said he slicking his hair down when he came into the room If hool excuse me looking at Margaret for being i my stockings Ise been tramping a day and streets is none o th cleanest
Margaret thought that fatigue might account for the change in his manner for he was unusually quiet and subdued and he had evidently some difficulty in saying what he came to say
Mr Hales everready sympathy with anything of shyness or hesitation or want of selfpossession made him come to his aid
We shall have tea up directly and then youll take a cup with us Mr Higgins I am sure you are tired if youve been out much this wet relaxing day Margaret my dear cant you hasten tea
Margaret could only hasten tea by taking the preparation of it into her own hands and so offending Dixon who was emerging out of her sorrow for her late mistress into a very touchy irritable state But Martha like all who came in contact with Margaret—even Dixon herself in the long run—felt it a pleasure and an honour to forward any of her wishes and her readiness and Margarets sweet forbearance soon made Dixon ashamed of herself
Why master and you must always be asking the lower classes upstairs since we came to Milton I cannot understand Folk at Helstone were never brought higher than the kitchen and Ive let one or two of them know before now that they might think it an honour to be even there
Higgins found it easier to unburden himself to one than to two After Margaret left the room he went to the door and assured himself that it was shut Then he came and stood close to Mr Hale
Master said he yod not guess easy what Ive been tramping after today Special if yo remember my manner o talk yesterday Ive been a seeking work I have said he I said to mysel Id keep a civil tongue in my head let who would say what em would Id set my teeth into my tongue sooner nor speak i haste For that mans sake—yo understand jerking his thumb back in some unknown direction
No I dont said Mr Hale seeing he waited for some kind of assent and completely bewildered as to who that man could be
That chap as lies theer said he with another jerk Him as went and drownded himself poor chap I did na think hed got it in him to lie still and let th water creep oer him till he died Boucher yo know
Yes I know now said Mr Hale Go back to what you were saying youd not speak in haste——
For his sake Yet not for his sake for whereer he is and whateer hell neer know other clemming or cold again but for the wifes sake and the bits o childer
God bless you said Mr Hale starting up then calming down he said breathlessly What do you mean Tell me out
I have telled yo said Higgins a little surprised at Mr Hales agitation I would na ask for work for mysel but thems left as a charge on me I reckon I would ha guided Boucher to a better end but I set him off o th road and so I mun answer for him
Mr Hale got hold of Higginss hand and shook it heartily without speaking Higgins looked awkward and ashamed
Theer theer master Theers neer a man to call a man amongst us but what would do th same ay and better too for belie me Ise neer got a stroke o work nor yet a sight of any For all I telled Hamper that let alone his pledge—which I would not sign—no I could na not een for this—hed neer ha such a worker on his mill as I would be—hed ha none o me—no more would none o th others Im a poor black feckless sheep—childer may clem for aught I can do unless parson yod help me
Help you How I would do anything—but what can I do
Miss there—for Margaret had reentered the room and stood silent listening—has often talked grand o the South and the ways down there Now I dunnot know how far off it is but Ive been thinking if I could get em down theer where food is cheap and wages good and all the folk rich and poor master and man friendly like yo could may be help me to work Im not fortyfive and Ive a deal o strength in me measter
But what kind of work could you do my man
Well I reckon I could spade a bit——
And for that said Margaret stepping forwards for anything you could do Higgins with the best will in the world you would may be get nine shillings a week maybe ten at the outside Food is much the same as here except that you might have a little garden——
The childer could work at that said he Im sick o Milton anyways and Milton is sick o me
You must not go to the South said Margaret for all that You could not stand it You would have to be out all weathers It would kill you with rheumatism The mere bodily work at your time of life would break you down The fare is far different to what you have been accustomed to
Ise nought particular about my meat said he as if offended
But youve reckoned on having butchers meat once a day if youre in work pay for that out of your ten shillings and keep those poor children if you can I owe it to you—since its my way of talking that has set you off on this idea—to put it all clear before you You would not bear the dulness of the life you dont know what it is it would eat you away like rust Those that have lived there all their lives are used to soaking in the stagnant waters They labour on from day to day in the great solitude of steaming fields—never speaking or lifting up their poor bent downcast heads The hard spadework robs their brain of life the sameness of their toil deadens their imagination they dont care to meet to talk over thoughts and speculations even of the weakest wildest kind after their work is done they go home brutishly tired poor creatures caring for nothing but food and rest You could not stir them up into any companionship which you get in a town as plentiful as the air you breathe whether it be good or bad—and that I dont know but I do know that you of all men are not one to bear a life among such labourers What would be peace to them would be eternal fretting to you Think no more of it Nicholas I beg Besides you could never pay to get mother and children all there—thats one good thing
Ive reckoned for that One house mun do for us a and the furniture o tother would go a good way And men theer mun have their families to keep—mappen six or seven childer God help em said he more convinced by his own presentation of the facts than by all Margaret had said and suddenly renouncing the idea which had but recently formed itself in a brain worn out by the days fatigue and anxiety God help em North an South have each getten their own troubles If works sure and steady theer labours paid at starvation prices while here wen rucks o money coming in one quarter and neer a farthing th next For sure th world is in a confusion that passes me or any other man to understand it needs fettling and whos to fettle it if its as yon folks say and theres nought but what we see
Mr Hale was busy cutting bread and butter Margaret was glad of this for she saw that Higgins was better left to himself that if her father began to speak ever so mildly on the subject of Higginss thoughts the latter would consider himself challenged to an argument and would feel himself bound to maintain his own ground She and her father kept up an indifferent conversation until Higgins scarcely aware whether he ate or not had made a very substantial meal Then he pushed his chair away from the table and tried to take an interest in what they were saying but it was of no use and he fell back into dreamy gloom Suddenly Margaret said she had been thinking of it for some time but the words had stuck in her throat Higgins have you been to Marlborough Mills to seek for work
Thorntons asked he Ay Ive been at Thorntons
And what did he say
Such a chap as me is not like to see the measter Th oerlooker bid me go and be d——d
I wish you had seen Mr Thornton said Mr Hale He might not have given you work but he would not have used such language
As to th language Im welly used to it it dunnot matter to me Im not nesh mysel when Im put out It were th fact that I were na wanted theer no more nor ony other place as I minded
But I wish you had seen Mr Thornton repeated Margaret Would you go again—its a good deal to ask I know—but would you go tomorrow and try him I should be so glad if you would
Im afraid it would be of no use said Mr Hale in a low voice It would be better to let me speak to him Margaret still looked at Higgins for his answer Those grave soft eyes of hers were difficult to resist He gave a great sigh
It would tax my pride above a bit if it were for mysel I could stand a deal o clemming first Id sooner knock him down than ask a favour from him Id a deal sooner be flogged mysel but yore not a common wench axing yor pardon nor yet have yo common ways about yo Ill een make a wry face and go at it tomorrow Dunna yo think that hell do it That man has it in him to be burnt at the stake afore hell give in I do it for yor sake Miss Hale and its first time in my life as eer I give way to a woman Neither my wife nor Bess could eer say that much again me
All the more do I thank you said Margaret smiling Though I dont believe you I believe you have just given way to wife and daughter as much as most men
And as to Mr Thornton said Mr Hale Ill give you a note to him which I think I may venture to say will ensure you a hearing
I thank yo kindly sir but Id as lief stand on my own bottom I dunnot stomach the notion of having favour curried for me by one as doesnt know the ins and outs of the quarrel Meddling twixt master and man is liker meddling twixt husband and wife than aught else it takes a deal o wisdom for to do ony good Ill stand guard at the lodge door Ill stand there fro six in the morning till I get speech on him But Id liefer sweep th streets if paupers had na got hold on that work Dunna yo hope miss Therell be more chance o getting milk out of a flint I wish yo a very good night and many thanks to yo
Youll find your shoes by the kitchen fire I took them there to dry said Margaret
He turned round and looked at her steadily and then he brushed his lean hand across his eyes and went his way
How proud that man is said her father who was a little annoyed at the manner in which Higgins had declined his intercession with Mr Thornton
He is said Margaret but what grand makings of a man there are in him pride and all
Its amusing to see how he evidently respects the part in Mr Thorntons character which is like his own
Theres granite in all these northern people papa is there not
There was none in poor Boucher I am afraid none in his wife either
I should guess from their tones that they had Irish blood in them I wonder what success hell have tomorrow If he and Mr Thornton would speak out together as man to man—if Higgins would forget that Mr Thornton was a master and speak to him as he does to us—and if Mr Thornton would be patient enough to listen to him with his human heart not with his masters ears—
You are getting to do Mr Thornton justice at last Margaret said her father pinching her ear
Margaret had a strange choking at her heart which made her unable to answer Oh thought she I wish I were a man that I could go and force him to express his disapprobation and tell him honestly that I knew I deserved it It seems hard to lose him as a friend just when I had begun to feel his value How tender he was with dear mamma If it were only for her sake I wish he would come and then at least I should know how much I was abased in his eyes
CHAPTER XXXVIII—PROMISES FULFILLED
Then proudly proudly up she rose
Tho the tear was in her ee
Whateer ye say think what ye may
Yes get na word frae me
SCOTCH BALLAD
It was not merely that Margaret was known to Mr Thornton to have spoken falsely—though she imagined that for this reason only was she so turned in his opinion—but that this falsehood of hers bore a distinct reference in his mind to some other lover He could not forget the fond and earnest look that had passed between her and some other man—the attitude of familiar confidence if not of positive endearment The thought of this perpetually stung him it was a picture before his eyes wherever he went and whatever he was doing In addition to this and he ground his teeth as he remembered it was the hour dusky twilight the place so far away from home and comparatively unfrequented His nobler self had said at first that all this last might be accidental innocent justifiable but once allow her right to love and be beloved and had he any reason to deny her right—had not her words been severely explicit when she cast his love away from her she might easily have been beguiled into a longer walk on to a later hour than she had anticipated But that falsehood which showed a fatal consciousness of something wrong and to be concealed which was unlike her He did her that justice though all the time it would have been a relief to believe her utterly unworthy of his esteem It was this that made the misery—that he passionately loved her and thought her even with all her faults more lovely and more excellent than any other woman yet he deemed her so attached to some other man so led away by her affection for him as to violate her truthful nature The very falsehood that stained her was a proof how blindly she loved another—this dark slight elegant handsome man—while he himself was rough and stern and strongly made He lashed himself into an agony of fierce jealousy He thought of that look that attitude—how he would have laid his life at her feet for such tender glances such fond detention He mocked at himself for having valued the mechanical way in which she had protected him from the fury of the mob now he had seen how soft and bewitching she looked when with a man she really loved He remembered point by point the sharpness of her words—There was not a man in all that crowd for whom she would not have done as much far more readily than for him He shared with the mob in her desire of averting bloodshed from them but this man this hidden lover shared with nobody he had looks words handcleavings lies concealment all to himself
Mr Thornton was conscious that he had never been so irritable as he was now in all his life long he felt inclined to give a short abrupt answer more like a bark than a speech to every one that asked him a question and this consciousness hurt his pride he had always piqued himself on his selfcontrol and control himself he would So the manner was subdued to a quiet deliberation but the matter was even harder and sterner than common He was more than usually silent at home employing his evenings in a continual pace backwards and forwards which would have annoyed his mother exceedingly if it had been practised by any one else and did not tend to promote any forbearance on her part even to this beloved son
Can you stop—can you sit down for a moment I have something to say to you if you would give up that everlasting walk walk walk
He sat down instantly on a chair against the wall
I want to speak to you about Betsy She says she must leave us that her lovers death has so affected her spirits she cant give her heart to her work
Very well I suppose other cooks are to be met with
Thats so like a man Its not merely the cooking it is that she knows all the ways of the house Besides she tells me something about your friend Miss Hale
Miss Hale is no friend of mine Mr Hale is my friend
I am glad to hear you say so for if she had been your friend what Betsy says would have annoyed you
Let me hear it said he with the extreme quietness of manner he had been assuming for the last few days
Betsy says that the night on which her lover—I forget his name—for she always calls him he——
Leonards
The night on which Leonards was last seen at the station—when he was last seen on duty in fact—Miss Hale was there walking about with a young man who Betsy believes killed Leonards by some blow or push
Leonards was not killed by any blow or push
How do you know
Because I distinctly put the question to the surgeon of the Infirmary He told me there was an internal disease of long standing caused by Leonards habit of drinking to excess that the fact of his becoming rapidly worse while in a state of intoxication settled the question as to whether the last fatal attack was caused by excess of drinking or the fall
The fall What fall
Caused by the blow or push of which Betsy speaks
Then there was a blow or push
I believe so
And who did it
As there was no inquest in consequence of the doctors opinion I cannot tell you
But Miss Hale was there
No answer
And with a young man
Still no answer At last he said I tell you mother that there was no inquest—no inquiry No judicial inquiry I mean
Betsy says that Woolmer some man she knows who is in a grocers shop out at Crampton can swear that Miss Hale was at the station at that hour walking backwards and forwards with a young man
I dont see what we have to do with that Miss Hale is at liberty to please herself
Im glad to hear you say so said Mrs Thornton eagerly It certainly signifies very little to us—not at all to you after what has passed but I—I made a promise to Mrs Hale that I would not allow her daughter to go wrong without advising and remonstrating with her I shall certainly let her know my opinion of such conduct
I do not see any harm in what she did that evening said Mr Thornton getting up and coming near to his mother he stood by the chimneypiece with his face turned away from the room
You would not have approved of Fannys being seen out after dark in rather a lonely place walking about with a young man I say nothing of the taste which could choose the time when her mother lay unburied for such a promenade Should you have liked your sister to have been noticed by a grocers assistant for doing so
In the first place as it is not many years since I myself was a drapers assistant the mere circumstance of a grocers assistant noticing any act does not alter the character of the act to me And in the next place I see a great deal of difference between Miss Hale and Fanny I can imagine that the one may have weighty reasons which may and ought to make her overlook any seeming impropriety in her conduct I never knew Fanny have weighty reasons for anything Other people must guard her I believe Miss Hale is a guardian to herself
A pretty character of your sister indeed Really John one would have thought Miss Hale had done enough to make you clearsighted She drew you on to an offer by a bold display of pretended regard for you—to play you off against this very young man Ive no doubt Her whole conduct is clear to me now You believe he is her lover I suppose—you agree to that
He turned round to his mother his face was very gray and grim Yes mother I do believe he is her lover When he had spoken he turned round again he writhed himself about like one in bodily pain He leant his face against his hand Then before she could speak he turned sharp again
Mother He is her lover whoever he is but she may need help and womanly counsel—there may be difficulties or temptations which I dont know I fear there are I dont want to know what they are but as you have ever been a good—ay and a tender mother to me go to her and gain her confidence and tell her what is best to be done I know that something is wrong some dread must be a terrible torture to her
For Gods sake John said his mother now really shocked what do you mean What do you mean What do you know
He did not reply to her
John I dont know what I shant think unless you speak You have no right to say what you have done against her
Not against her mother I _could_ not speak against her
Well you have no right to say what you have done unless you say more These halfexpressions are what ruin a womans character
Her character Mother you do not dare— he faced about and looked into her face with his flaming eyes Then drawing himself up into determined composure and dignity he said I will not say any more than this which is neither more nor less than the simple truth and I am sure you believe me—I have good reason to believe that Miss Hale is in some strait and difficulty connected with an attachment which of itself from my knowledge of Miss Hales character is perfectly innocent and right What my reason is I refuse to tell But never let me hear any one say a word against her implying any more serious imputation than that she now needs the counsel of some kind and gentle woman You promised Mrs Hale to be that woman
No said Mrs Thornton I am happy to say I did not promise kindness and gentleness for I felt at the time that it might be out of my power to render these to one of Miss Hales character and disposition I promised counsel and advice such as I would give to my own daughter I shall speak to her as I would do to Fanny if she had gone gallivanting with a young man in the dusk I shall speak with relation to the circumstances I know without being influenced either one way or another by the strong reasons which you will not confide to me Then I shall have fulfilled my promise and done my duty
She will never bear it said he passionately
She will have to bear it if I speak in her dead mothers name
Well said he breaking away dont tell me any more about it I cannot endure to think of it It will be better that you should speak to her any way than that she should not be spoken to at all—Oh that look of love continued he between his teeth as he bolted himself into his own private room And that cursed lie which showed some terrible shame in the background to be kept from the light in which I thought she lived perpetually Oh Margaret Margaret Mother how you have tortured me Oh Margaret could you not have loved me I am but uncouth and hard but I would never have led you into any falsehood for me
The more Mrs Thornton thought over what her son had said in pleading for a merciful judgment for Margarets indiscretion the more bitterly she felt inclined towards her She took a savage pleasure in the idea of speaking her mind to her in the guise of fulfilment of a duty She enjoyed the thought of showing herself untouched by the glamour which she was well aware Margaret had the power of throwing over many people She snorted scornfully over the picture of the beauty of her victim her jet black hair her clear smooth skin her lucid eyes would not help to save her one word of the just and stern reproach which Mrs Thornton spent half the night in preparing to her mind
Is Miss Hale within She knew she was for she had seen her at the window and she had her feet inside the little hall before Martha had half answered her question
Margaret was sitting alone writing to Edith and giving her many particulars of her mothers last days It was a softening employment and she had to brush away the unbidden tears as Mrs Thornton was announced
She was so gentle and ladylike in her mode of reception that her visitor was somewhat daunted and it became impossible to utter the speech so easy of arrangement with no one to address it to Margarets low rich voice was softer than usual her manner more gracious because in her heart she was feeling very grateful to Mrs Thornton for the courteous attention of her call She exerted herself to find subjects of interest for conversation praised Martha the servant whom Mrs Thornton had found for them had asked Edith for a little Greek air about which she had spoken to Miss Thornton Mrs Thornton was fairly discomfited Her sharp Damascus blade seemed out of place and useless among roseleaves She was silent because she was trying to task herself up to her duty At last she stung herself into its performance by a suspicion which in spite of all probability she allowed to cross her mind that all this sweetness was put on with a view of propitiating Mr Thornton that somehow the other attachment had fallen through and that it suited Miss Hales purpose to recall her rejected lover Poor Margaret there was perhaps so much truth in the suspicion as this that Mrs Thornton was the mother of one whose regard she valued and feared to have lost and this thought unconsciously added to her natural desire of pleasing one who was showing her kindness by her visit Mrs Thornton stood up to go but yet she seemed to have something more to say She cleared her throat and began
Miss Hale I have a duty to perform I promised your poor mother that as far as my poor judgment went I would not allow you to act in any way wrongly or she softened her speech down a little here inadvertently without remonstrating at least without offering advice whether you took it or not
Margaret stood before her blushing like any culprit with her eyes dilating as she gazed at Mrs Thornton She thought she had come to speak to her about the falsehood she had told—that Mr Thornton had employed her to explain the danger she had exposed herself to of being confuted in full court and although her heart sank to think he had not rather chosen to come himself and upbraid her and receive her penitence and restore her again to his good opinion yet she was too much humbled not to bear any blame on this subject patiently and meekly
Mrs Thornton went on
At first when I heard from one of my servants that you had been seen walking about with a gentleman so far from home as the Outwood station at such a time of the evening I could hardly believe it But my son I am sorry to say confirmed her story It was indiscreet to say the least many a young woman has lost her character before now——
Margarets eyes flashed fire This was a new idea—this was too insulting If Mrs Thornton had spoken to her about the lie she had told well and good—she would have owned it and humiliated herself But to interfere with her conduct—to speak of her character she—Mrs Thornton a mere stranger—it was too impertinent She would not answer her—not one word Mrs Thornton saw the battlespirit in Margarets eyes and it called up her combativeness also
For your mothers sake I have thought it right to warn you against such improprieties they must degrade you in the long run in the estimation of the world even if in fact they do not lead you to positive harm
For my mothers sake said Margaret in a tearful voice I will bear much but I cannot bear everything She never meant me to be exposed to insult I am sure
Insult Miss Hale
Yes madam said Margaret more steadily it is insult What do you know of me that should lead you to suspect—Oh said she breaking down and covering her face with her hands—I know now Mr Thornton has told you——
No Miss Hale said Mrs Thornton her truthfulness causing her to arrest the confession Margaret was on the point of making though her curiosity was itching to hear it Stop Mr Thornton has told me nothing You do not know my son You are not worthy to know him He said this Listen young lady that you may understand if you can what sort of a man you rejected This Milton manufacturer his great tender heart scorned as it was scorned said to me only last night Go to her I have good reason to know that she is in some strait arising out of some attachment and she needs womanly counsel I believe those were his very words Farther than that—beyond admitting the fact of your being at the Outwood station with a gentleman on the evening of the twentysixth—he has said nothing—not one word against you If he has knowledge of anything which should make you sob so he keeps it to himself
Margarets face was still hidden in her hands the fingers of which were wet with tears Mrs Thornton was a little mollified
Come Miss Hale There may be circumstances Ill allow that if explained may take off from the seeming impropriety
Still no answer Margaret was considering what to say she wished to stand well with Mrs Thornton and yet she could not might not give any explanation Mrs Thornton grew impatient
I shall be sorry to break off an acquaintance but for Fannys sake—as I told my son if Fanny had done so we should consider it a great disgrace—and Fanny might be led away——
I can give you no explanation said Margaret in a low voice I have done wrong but not in the way you think or know about I think Mr Thornton judges me more mercifully than you—she had hard work to keep herself from choking with her tears—but I believe madam you mean to do rightly
Thank you said Mrs Thornton drawing herself up I was not aware that my meaning was doubted It is the last time I shall interfere I was unwilling to consent to do it when your mother asked me I had not approved of my sons attachment to you while I only suspected it You did not appear to me worthy of him But when you compromised yourself as you did at the time of the riot and exposed yourself to the comments of servants and workpeople I felt it was no longer right to set myself against my sons wish of proposing to you—a wish by the way which he had always denied entertaining until the day of the riot Margaret winced and drew in her breath with a long hissing sound of which however Mrs Thornton took no notice He came you had apparently changed your mind I told my son yesterday that I thought it possible short as was the interval you might have heard or learnt something of this other lover——
What must you think of me madam asked Margaret throwing her head back with proud disdain till her throat curved outwards like a swans You can say nothing more Mrs Thornton I decline every attempt to justify myself for anything You must allow me to leave the room
And she swept out of it with the noiseless grace of an offended princess Mrs Thornton had quite enough of natural humour to make her feel the ludicrousness of the position in which she was left There was nothing for it but to show herself out She was not particularly annoyed at Margarets way of behaving She did not care enough for her for that She had taken Mrs Thorntons remonstrance to the full as keenly to heart as that lady expected and Margarets passion at once mollified her visitor far more than any silence or reserve could have done It showed the effect of her words My young lady thought Mrs Thornton to herself youve a pretty good temper of your own If John and you had come together he would have had to keep a tight hand over you to make you know your place But I dont think you will go awalking again with your beau at such an hour of the day in a hurry Youve too much pride and spirit in you for that I like to see a girl fly out at the notion of being talked about It shows theyre neither giddy nor bold by nature As for that girl she might be bold but shed never be giddy Ill do her that justice Now as to Fanny shed be giddy and not bold Shes no courage in her poor thing
Mr Thornton was not spending the morning so satisfactorily as his mother She at any rate was fulfilling her determined purpose He was trying to understand where he stood what damage the strike had done him A good deal of his capital was locked up in new and expensive machinery and he had also bought cotton largely with a view to some great orders which he had in hand The strike had thrown him terribly behindhand as to the completion of these orders Even with his own accustomed and skilled workpeople he would have had some difficulty in fulfilling his engagements as it was the incompetence of the Irish hands who had to be trained to their work at a time requiring unusual activity was a daily annoyance
It was not a favourable hour for Higgins to make his request But he had promised Margaret to do it at any cost So though every moment added to his repugnance his pride and his sullenness of temper he stood leaning against the dead wall hour after hour first on one leg then on the other At last the latch was sharply lifted and out came Mr Thornton
I want for to speak to yo sir
Cant stay now my man Im too late as it is
Well sir I reckon I can wait till yo come back
Mr Thornton was half way down the street Higgins sighed But it was no use To catch him in the street was his only chance of seeing the measter if he had rung the lodge bell or even gone up to the house to ask for him he would have been referred to the overlooker So he stood still again vouchsafing no answer but a short nod of recognition to the few men who knew and spoke to him as the crowd drove out of the millyard at dinnertime and scowling with all his might at the Irish knobsticks who had just been imported At last Mr Thornton returned
What you there still
Ay sir I mun speak to yo
Come in here then Stay well go across the yard the men are not come back and we shall have it to ourselves These good people I see are at dinner said he closing the door of the porters lodge
He stopped to speak to the overlooker The latter said in a low tone
I suppose you know sir that that man is Higgins one of the leaders of the Union he that made that speech in Hurstfield
No I didnt said Mr Thornton looking round sharply at his follower Higgins was known to him by name as a turbulent spirit
Come along said he and his tone was rougher than before It is men such as this thought he who interrupt commerce and injure the very town they live in mere demagogues lovers of power at whatever cost to others
Well sir what do you want with me said Mr Thornton facing round at him as soon as they were in the countinghouse of the mill
My name is Higgins—
I know that broke in Mr Thornton What do you want Mr Higgins Thats the question
I want work
Work Youre a pretty chap to come asking me for work You dont want impudence thats very clear
Ive getten enemies and backbiters like my betters but I neer heerd o ony of them calling me oermodest said Higgins His blood was a little roused by Mr Thorntons manner more than by his words
Mr Thornton saw a letter addressed to himself on the table He took it up and read it through At the end he looked up and said What are you waiting for
An answer to the question I axed
I gave it you before Dont waste any more of your time
Yo made a remark sir on my impudence but I were taught that it was manners to say either yes or no when I were axed a civil question I should be thankfu to yo if yod give me work Hamper will speak to my being a good hand
Ive a notion youd better not send me to Hamper to ask for a character my man I might hear more than youd like
Id take th risk Worst they could say of me is that I did what I thought best even to my own wrong
Youd better go and try them then and see whether theyll give you work Ive turned off upwards of a hundred of my best hands for no other fault than following you and such as you and dye think Ill take you on I might as well put a firebrand into the midst of the cottonwaste
Higgins turned away then the recollection of Boucher came over him and he faced round with the greatest concession he could persuade himself to make
Id promise yo measter Id not speak a word as could do harm if so be yo did right by us and Id promise more Id promise that when I seed yo going wrong and acting unfair Id speak to yo in private first and that would be a fair warning If yo and I did na agree in our opinion o your conduct yo might turn me off at an hours notice
Upon my word you dont think small beer of yourself Hamper has had a loss of you How came he to let you and your wisdom go
Well we parted wi mutual dissatisfaction I wouldnt gie the pledge they were asking and they wouldnt have me at no rate So Im free to make another engagement and as I said before though I should na say it Im a good hand measter and a steady man—specially when I can keep fro drink and that I shall do now if I neer did afore
That you may have more money laid up for another strike I suppose
No Id be thankful if I was free to do that its for to keep th widow and childer of a man who was drove mad by them knobsticks o yourn put out of his place by a Paddy that did na know weft fro warp
Well youd better turn to something else if youve any such good intention in your head I shouldnt advise you to stay in Milton youre too well known here
If it were summer said Higgins Id take to Paddys work and go as a navvy or haymaking or summut and neer see Milton again But its winter and th childer will clem
A pretty navvy youd make why you couldnt do half a days work at digging against an Irishman
Id only charge halfaday for th twelve hours if I could only do halfadays work in th time Yore not knowing of any place where they could gi me a trial away fro the mills if Im such a firebrand Id take any wage they thought I was worth for the sake of those childer
Dont you see what you would be Youd be a knobstick Youd be taking less wages than the other labourers—all for the sake of another mans children Think how youd abuse any poor fellow who was willing to take what he could get to keep his own children You and your Union would soon be down upon him No no if its only for the recollection of the way in which youve used the poor knobsticks before now I say No to your question Ill not give you work I wont say I dont believe your pretext for coming and asking for work I know nothing about it It may be true or it may not Its a very unlikely story at any rate Let me pass Ill not give you work Theres your answer
I hear sir I would na ha troubled yo but that I were bid to come by one as seemed to think yod getten some soft place in yor heart Hoo were mistook and I were misled But Im not the first man as is misled by a woman
Tell her to mind her own business the next time instead of taking up your time and mine too I believe women are at the bottom of every plague in this world Be off with you
Im obleeged to yo for a yor kindness measter and most of a for yor civil way o saying goodbye
Mr Thornton did not deign a reply But looking out of the window a minute after he was struck with the lean bent figure going out of the yard the heavy walk was in strange contrast with the resolute clear determination of the man to speak to him He crossed to the porters lodge
How long has that man Higgins been waiting to speak to me
He was outside the gate before eight oclock sir I think hes been there ever since
And it is now—
Just one sir
Five hours thought Mr Thornton its a long time for a man to wait doing nothing but first hoping and then fearing
CHAPTER XXXIX—MAKING FRIENDS
Nay I have done you get no more of me
And I am glad yea glad with all my heart
That thus so clearly I myself am free
DRAYTON
Margaret shut herself up in her own room after she had quitted Mrs Thornton She began to walk backwards and forwards in her old habitual way of showing agitation but then remembering that in that slightlybuilt house every step was heard from one room to another she sate down until she heard Mrs Thornton go safely out of the house She forced herself to recollect all the conversation that had passed between them speech by speech she compelled her memory to go through with it At the end she rose up and said to herself in a melancholy tone
At any rate her words do not touch me they fall off from me for I am innocent of all the motives she attributes to me But still it is hard to think that any one—any woman—can believe all this of another so easily It is hard and sad Where I have done wrong she does not accuse me—she does not know He never told her I might have known he would not
She lifted up her head as if she took pride in any delicacy of feeling which Mr Thornton had shown Then as a new thought came across her she pressed her hands tightly together
He too must take poor Frederick for some lover She blushed as the word passed through her mind I see it now It is not merely that he knows of my falsehood but he believes that some one else cares for me and that I—— Oh dear—oh dear What shall I do What do I mean Why do I care what he thinks beyond the mere loss of his good opinion as regards my telling the truth or not I cannot tell But I am very miserable Oh how unhappy this last year has been I have passed out of childhood into old age I have had no youth—no womanhood the hopes of womanhood have closed for me—for I shall never marry and I anticipate cares and sorrows just as if I were an old woman and with the same fearful spirit I am weary of this continual call upon me for strength I could bear up for papa because that is a natural pious duty And I think I could bear up against—at any rate I could have the energy to resent Mrs Thorntons unjust impertinent suspicions But it is hard to feel how completely he must misunderstand me What has happened to make me so morbid today I do not know I only know I cannot help it I must give way sometimes No I will not though said she springing to her feet I will not—I _will_ not think of myself and my own position I wont examine into my own feelings It would be of no use now Some time if I live to be an old woman I may sit over the fire and looking into the embers see the life that might have been
All this time she was hastily putting on her things to go out only stopping from time to time to wipe her eyes with an impatience of gesture at the tears that would come in spite of all her bravery
I dare say theres many a woman makes as sad a mistake as I have done and only finds it out too late And how proudly and impertinently I spoke to him that day But I did not know then It has come upon me little by little and I dont know where it began Now I wont give way I shall find it difficult to behave in the same way to him with this miserable consciousness upon me but I will be very calm and very quiet and say very little But to be sure I may not see him he keeps out of our way evidently That would be worse than all And yet no wonder that he avoids me believing what he must about me
She went out going rapidly towards the country and trying to drown reflection by swiftness of motion
As she stood on the doorstep at her return her father came up
Good girl said he Youve been to Mrs Bouchers I was just meaning to go there if I had time before dinner
No papa I have not said Margaret reddening I never thought about her But I will go directly after dinner I will go while you are taking your nap
Accordingly Margaret went Mrs Boucher was very ill really ill—not merely ailing The kind and sensible neighbour who had come in the other day seemed to have taken charge of everything Some of the children were gone to the neighbours Mary Higgins had come for the three youngest at dinnertime and since then Nicholas had gone for the doctor He had not come as yet Mrs Boucher was dying and there was nothing to do but to wait Margaret thought that she should like to know his opinion and that she could not do better than go and see the Higginses in the meantime She might then possibly hear whether Nicholas had been able to make his application to Mr Thornton
She found Nicholas busily engaged in making a penny spin on the dresser for the amusement of three little children who were clinging to him in a fearless manner He as well as they was smiling at a good long spin and Margaret thought that the happy look of interest in his occupation was a good sign When the penny stopped spinning lile Johnnie began to cry
Come to me said Margaret taking him off the dresser and holding him in her arms she held her watch to his ear while she asked Nicholas if he had seen Mr Thornton
The look on his face changed instantly
Ay said he Ive seen and heerd too much on him
He refused you then said Margaret sorrowfully
To be sure I knew hed do it all long Its no good expecting marcy at the hands o them measters Yore a stranger and a foreigner and arent likely to know their ways but I knowed it
I am sorry I asked you Was he angry He did not speak to you as Hamper did did he
He werent oercivil said Nicholas spinning the penny again as much for his own amusement as for that of the children Never yo fret Im only where I was Ill go on tramp tomorrow I gave him as good as I got I telled him Id not that good opinion on him that Id ha come a second time of mysel but yod advised me for to come and I were beholden to yo
You told him I sent you
I dunno if I cad yo by your name I dunnot think I did I said a woman who knew no better had advised me for to come and see if there was a soft place in his heart
And he— asked Margaret
Said I were to tell yo to mind yor own business—Thats the longest spin yet my lads—And thems civil words to what he used to me But neer mind Were but where we was and Ill break stones on th road afore I let these little uns clem
Margaret put the struggling Johnnie out of her arms back into his former place on the dresser
I am sorry I asked you to go to Mr Thorntons I am disappointed in him
There was a slight noise behind her Both she and Nicholas turned round at the same moment and there stood Mr Thornton with a look of displeased surprise upon his face Obeying her swift impulse Margaret passed out before him saying not a word only bowing low to hide the sudden paleness that she felt had come over her face He bent equally low in return and then closed the door after her As she hurried to Mrs Bouchers she heard the clang and it seemed to fill up the measure of her mortification He too was annoyed to find her there He had tenderness in his heart—a soft place as Nicholas Higgins called it but he had some pride in concealing it he kept it very sacred and safe and was jealous of every circumstance that tried to gain admission But if he dreaded exposure of his tenderness he was equally desirous that all men should recognise his justice and he felt that he had been unjust in giving so scornful a hearing to any one who had waited with humble patience for five hours to speak to him That the man had spoken saucily to him when he had the opportunity was nothing to Mr Thornton He rather liked him for it and he was conscious of his own irritability of temper at the time which probably made them both quits It was the five hours of waiting that struck Mr Thornton He had not five hours to spare himself but one hour—two hours of his hard penetrating intellectual as well as bodily labour did he give up to going about collecting evidence as to the truth of Higginss story the nature of his character the tenor of his life He tried not to be but was convinced that all that Higgins had said was true And then the conviction went in as if by some spell and touched the latent tenderness of his heart the patience of the man the simple generosity of the motive for he had learnt about the quarrel between Boucher and Higgins made him forget entirely the mere reasonings of justice and overleap them by a diviner instinct He came to tell Higgins he would give him work and he was more annoyed to find Margaret there than by hearing her last words for then he understood that she was the woman who had urged Higgins to come to him and he dreaded the admission of any thought of her as a motive to what he was doing solely because it was right
So that was the lady you spoke of as a woman said he indignantly to Higgins You might have told me who she was
And then maybe yod ha spoken of her more civil than yo did yod getten a mother who might ha kept yor tongue in check when yo were talking o women being at the root o all the plagues
Of course you told that to Miss Hale
In coorse I did Leastways I reckon I did I telled her she werent to meddle again in aught that concerned yo
Whose children are those—yours Mr Thornton had a pretty good notion whose they were from what he had heard but he felt awkward in turning the conversation round from this unpromising beginning
Theyre not mine and they are mine
They are the children you spoke of to me this morning
When yo said replied Higgins turning round with illsmothered fierceness that my story might be true or might not bur it were a very unlikely one Measter Ive not forgetten
Mr Thornton was silent for a moment then he said No more have I I remember what I said I spoke to you about those children in a way I had no business to do I did not believe you I could not have taken care of another mans children myself if he had acted towards me as I hear Boucher did towards you But I know now that you spoke truth I beg your pardon
Higgins did not turn round or immediately respond to this But when he did speak it was in a softened tone although the words were gruff enough
Yove no business to go prying into what happened between Boucher and me Hes dead and Im sorry Thats enough
So it is Will you take work with me Thats what I came to ask
Higginss obstinacy wavered recovered strength and stood firm He would not speak Mr Thornton would not ask again Higginss eye fell on the children
Yove called me impudent and a liar and a mischiefmaker and yo might ha said wi some truth as I were now and then given to drink An I ha called you a tyrant an an oud bulldog and a hard cruel master thats where it stands But for th childer Measter do yo think we can eer get on together
Well said Mr Thornton halflaughing it was not my proposal that we should go together But theres one comfort on your own showing We neither of us can think much worse of the other than we do now
Thats true said Higgins reflectively Ive been thinking ever sin I saw you what a marcy it were yo did na take me on for that I neer saw a man whom I could less abide But thats maybe been a hasty judgment and works work to such as me So measter Ill come and whats more I thank yo and thats a deal fro me said he more frankly suddenly turning round and facing Mr Thornton fully for the first time
And this is a deal from me said Mr Thornton giving Higginss hand a good grip Now mind you come sharp to your time continued he resuming the master Ill have no laggards at my mill What fines we have we keep pretty sharply And the first time I catch you making mischief off you go So now you know where you are
Yo spoke of my wisdom this morning I reckon I may bring it wi me or would yo rayther have me bout my brains
Bout your brains if you use them for meddling with my business with your brains if you can keep them to your own
I shall need a deal o brains to settle where my business ends and yors begins
Your business has not begun yet and mine stands still for me So good afternoon
Just before Mr Thornton came up to Mrs Bouchers door Margaret came out of it She did not see him and he followed her for several yards admiring her light and easy walk and her tall and graceful figure But suddenly this simple emotion of pleasure was tainted poisoned by jealousy He wished to overtake her and speak to her to see how she would receive him now she must know he was aware of some other attachment He wished too but of this wish he was rather ashamed that she should know that he had justified her wisdom in sending Higgins to him to ask for work and had repented him of his mornings decision He came up to her She started
Allow me to say Miss Hale that you were rather premature in expressing your disappointment I have taken Higgins on
I am glad of it said she coldly
He tells me he repeated to you what I said this morning about— Mr Thornton hesitated Margaret took it up
About women not meddling You had a perfect right to express your opinion which was a very correct one I have no doubt But she went on a little more eagerly Higgins did not quite tell you the exact truth The word truth reminded her of her own untruth and she stopped short feeling exceedingly uncomfortable
Mr Thornton at first was puzzled to account for her silence and then he remembered the lie she had told and all that was foregone The exact truth said he Very few people do speak the exact truth I have given up hoping for it Miss Hale have you no explanation to give me You must perceive what I cannot but think
Margaret was silent She was wondering whether an explanation of any kind would be consistent with her loyalty to Frederick
Nay said he I will ask no farther I may be putting temptation in your way At present believe me your secret is safe with me But you run great risks allow me to say in being so indiscreet I am now only speaking as a friend of your fathers if I had any other thought or hope of course that is at an end I am quite disinterested
I am aware of that said Margaret forcing herself to speak in an indifferent careless way I am aware of what I must appear to you but the secret is another persons and I cannot explain it without doing him harm
I have not the slightest wish to pry into the gentlemans secrets he said with growing anger My own interest in you is—simply that of a friend You may not believe me Miss Hale but it is—in spite of the persecution Im afraid I threatened you with at one time—but that is all given up all passed away You believe me Miss Hale
Yes said Margaret quietly and sadly
Then really I dont see any occasion for us to go on walking together I thought perhaps you might have had something to say but I see we are nothing to each other If youre quite convinced that any foolish passion on my part is entirely over I will wish you good afternoon He walked off very hastily
What can he mean thought Margaret—what could he mean by speaking so as if I were always thinking that he cared for me when I know he does not he cannot His mother will have said all those cruel things about me to him But I wont care for him I surely am mistress enough of myself to control this wild strange miserable feeling which tempted me even to betray my own dear Frederick so that I might but regain his good opinion—the good opinion of a man who takes such pains to tell me that I am nothing to him Come poor little heart be cheery and brave Well be a great deal to one another if we are thrown off and left desolate
Her father was almost startled by her merriment this afternoon She talked incessantly and forced her natural humour to an unusual pitch and if there was a tinge of bitterness in much of what she said if her accounts of the old Harley Street set were a little sarcastic her father could not bear to check her as he would have done at another time—for he was glad to see her shake off her cares In the middle of the evening she was called down to speak to Mary Higgins and when she came back Mr Hale imagined that he saw traces of tears on her cheeks But that could not be for she brought good news—that Higgins had got work at Mr Thorntons mill Her spirits were damped at any rate and she found it very difficult to go on talking at all much more in the wild way that she had done For some days her spirits varied strangely and her father was beginning to be anxious about her when news arrived from one or two quarters that promised some change and variety for her Mr Hale received a letter from Mr Bell in which that gentleman volunteered a visit to them and Mr Hale imagined that the promised society of his old Oxford friend would give as agreeable a turn to Margarets ideas as it did to his own Margaret tried to take an interest in what pleased her father but she was too languid to care about any Mr Bell even though he were twenty times her godfather She was more roused by a letter from Edith full of sympathy about her aunts death full of details about herself her husband and child and at the end saying that as the climate did not suit the baby and as Mrs Shaw was talking of returning to England she thought it probable that Captain Lennox might sell out and that they might all go and live again in the old Harley Street house which however would seem very incomplete without Margaret Margaret yearned after that old house and the placid tranquillity of that old wellordered monotonous life She had found it occasionally tiresome while it lasted but since then she had been buffeted about and felt so exhausted by this recent struggle with herself that she thought that even stagnation would be a rest and a refreshment So she began to look towards a long visit to the Lennoxes on their return to England as to a point—no not of hope—but of leisure in which she could regain her power and command over herself At present it seemed to her as if all subjects tended towards Mr Thornton as if she could not forget him with all her endeavours If she went to see the Higginses she heard of him there her father had resumed their readings together and quoted his opinions perpetually even Mr Bells visit brought his tenants name upon the tapis for he wrote word that he believed he must be occupied some great part of his time with Mr Thornton as a new lease was in preparation and the terms of it must be agreed upon
CHAPTER XL—OUT OF TUNE
I have no wrong where I can claim no right
Naught taen me fro where I have nothing had
Yet of my woe I cannot so be quite
Namely since that another may be glad
With that that thus in sorrow makes me sad
WYATT
Margaret had not expected much pleasure to herself from Mr Bells visit—she had only looked forward to it on her fathers account but when her godfather came she at once fell into the most natural position of friendship in the world He said she had no merit in being what she was a girl so entirely after his own heart it was an hereditary power which she had to walk in and take possession of his regard while she in reply gave him much credit for being so fresh and young under his Fellows cap and gown
Fresh and young in warmth and kindness I mean Im afraid I must own that I think your opinions are the oldest and mustiest I have met with this long time
Hear this daughter of yours Hale Her residence in Milton has quite corrupted her Shes a democrat a red republican a member of the Peace Society a socialist—
Papa its all because Im standing up for the progress of commerce Mr Bell would have had it keep still at exchanging wildbeast skins for acorns
No no Id dig the ground and grow potatoes And Id shave the wildbeast skins and make the wool into broad cloth Dont exaggerate missy But Im tired of this bustle Everybody rushing over everybody in their hurry to get rich
It is not every one who can sit comfortably in a set of college rooms and let his riches grow without any exertion of his own No doubt there is many a man here who would be thankful if his property would increase as yours has done without his taking any trouble about it said Mr Hale
I dont believe they would Its the bustle and the struggle they like As for sitting still and learning from the past or shaping out the future by faithful work done in a prophetic spirit—Why Pooh I dont believe theres a man in Milton who knows how to sit still and it is a great art
Milton people I suspect think Oxford men dont know how to move It would be a very good thing if they mixed a little more
It might be good for the Miltoners Many things might be good for them which would be very disagreeable for other people
Are you not a Milton man yourself asked Margaret I should have thought you would have been proud of your town
I confess I dont see what there is to be proud of If youll only come to Oxford Margaret I will show you a place to glory in
Well said Mr Hale Mr Thornton is coming to drink tea with us tonight and he is as proud of Milton as you of Oxford You two must try and make each other a little more liberalminded
I dont want to be more liberalminded thank you said Mr Bell
Is Mr Thornton coming to tea papa asked Margaret in a low voice
Either to tea or soon after He could not tell He told us not to wait
Mr Thornton had determined that he would make no inquiry of his mother as to how far she had put her project into execution of speaking to Margaret about the impropriety of her conduct He felt pretty sure that if this interview took place his mothers account of what passed at it would only annoy and chagrin him though he would all the time be aware of the colouring which it received by passing through her mind He shrank from hearing Margarets very name mentioned he while he blamed her—while he was jealous of her—while he renounced her—he loved her sorely in spite of himself He dreamt of her he dreamt she came dancing towards him with outspread arms and with a lightness and gaiety which made him loathe her even while it allured him But the impression of this figure of Margaret—with all Margarets character taken out of it as completely as if some evil spirit had got possession of her form—was so deeply stamped upon his imagination that when he wakened he felt hardly able to separate the Una from the Duessa and the dislike he had to the latter seemed to envelope and disfigure the former Yet he was too proud to acknowledge his weakness by avoiding the sight of her He would neither seek an opportunity of being in her company nor avoid it To convince himself of his power of selfcontrol he lingered over every piece of business this afternoon he forced every movement into unnatural slowness and deliberation and it was consequently past eight oclock before he reached Mr Hales Then there were business arrangements to be transacted in the study with Mr Bell and the latter kept on sitting over the fire and talking wearily long after all business was transacted and when they might just as well have gone upstairs But Mr Thornton would not say a word about moving their quarters he chafed and chafed and thought Mr Bell a most prosy companion while Mr Bell returned the compliment in secret by considering Mr Thornton about as brusque and curt a fellow as he had ever met with and terribly gone off both in intelligence and manner At last some slight noise in the room above suggested the desirableness of moving there They found Margaret with a letter open before her eagerly discussing its contents with her father On the entrance of the gentlemen it was immediately put aside but Mr Thorntons eager senses caught some few words of Mr Hales to Mr Bell
A letter from Henry Lennox It makes Margaret very hopeful
Mr Bell nodded Margaret was red as a rose when Mr Thornton looked at her He had the greatest mind in the world to get up and go out of the room that very instant and never set foot in the house again
We were thinking said Mr Hale that you and Mr Thornton had taken Margarets advice and were each trying to convert the other you were so long in the study
And you thought there would be nothing left of us but an opinion like the Kilkenny cats tail Pray whose opinion did you think would have the most obstinate vitality
Mr Thornton had not a notion what they were talking about and disdained to inquire Mr Hale politely enlightened him
Mr Thornton we were accusing Mr Bell this morning of a kind of Oxonian mediaeval bigotry against his native town and we—Margaret I believe—suggested that it would do him good to associate a little with Milton manufacturers
I beg your pardon Margaret thought it would do the Milton manufacturers good to associate a little more with Oxford men Now wasnt it so Margaret
I believe I thought it would do both good to see a little more of the other—I did not know it was my idea any more than papas
And so you see Mr Thornton we ought to have been improving each other downstairs instead of talking over vanished families of Smiths and Harrisons However I am willing to do my part now I wonder when you Milton men intend to live All your lives seem to be spent in gathering together the materials for life
By living I suppose you mean enjoyment
Yes enjoyment—I dont specify of what because I trust we should both consider mere pleasure as very poor enjoyment
I would rather have the nature of the enjoyment defined
Well enjoyment of leisure—enjoyment of the power and influence which money gives You are all striving for money What do you want it for
Mr Thornton was silent Then he said I really dont know But money is not what _I_ strive for
What then
It is a home question I shall have to lay myself open to such a catechist and I am not sure that I am prepared to do it
No said Mr Hale dont let us be personal in our catechism You are neither of you representative men you are each of you too individual for that
I am not sure whether to consider that as a compliment or not I should like to be the representative of Oxford with its beauty and its learning and its proud old history What do you say Margaret ought I to be flattered
I dont know Oxford But there is a difference between being the representative of a city and the representative man of its inhabitants
Very true Miss Margaret Now I remember you were against me this morning and were quite Miltonian and manufacturing in your preferences Margaret saw the quick glance of surprise that Mr Thornton gave her and she was annoyed at the construction which he might put on this speech of Mr Bells Mr Bell went on—
Ah I wish I could show you our High Street—our Radcliffe Square I am leaving out our colleges just as I give Mr Thornton leave to omit his factories in speaking of the charms of Milton I have a right to abuse my birthplace Remember I am a Milton man
Mr Thornton was annoyed more than he ought to have been at all that Mr Bell was saying He was not in a mood for joking At another time he could have enjoyed Mr Bells half testy condemnation of a town where the life was so at variance with every habit he had formed but now he was galled enough to attempt to defend what was never meant to be seriously attacked
I dont set up Milton as a model of a town
Not in architecture slyly asked Mr Bell
No Weve been too busy to attend to mere outward appearances
Dont say _mere_ outward appearances said Mr Hale gently They impress us all from childhood upward—every day of our life
Wait a little while said Mr Thornton Remember we are of a different race from the Greeks to whom beauty was everything and to whom Mr Bell might speak of a life of leisure and serene enjoyment much of which entered in through their outward senses I dont mean to despise them any more than I would ape them But I belong to Teutonic blood it is little mingled in this part of England to what it is in others we retain much of their language we retain more of their spirit we do not look upon life as a time for enjoyment but as a time for action and exertion Our glory and our beauty arise out of our inward strength which makes us victorious over material resistance and over greater difficulties still We are Teutonic up here in Darkshire in another way We hate to have laws made for us at a distance We wish people would allow us to right ourselves instead of continually meddling with their imperfect legislation We stand up for selfgovernment and oppose centralisation
In short you would like the Heptarchy back again Well at any rate I revoke what I said this morning—that you Milton people did not reverence the past You are regular worshippers of Thor
If we do not reverence the past as you do in Oxford it is because we want something which can apply to the present more directly It is fine when the study of the past leads to a prophecy of the future But to men groping in new circumstances it would be finer if the words of experience could direct us how to act in what concerns us most intimately and immediately which is full of difficulties that must be encountered and upon the mode in which they are met and conquered—not merely pushed aside for the time—depends our future Out of the wisdom of the past help us over the present But no People can speak of Utopia much more easily than of the next days duty and yet when that duty is all done by others who so ready to cry Fie for shame
And all this time I dont see what you are talking about Would you Milton men condescend to send up your todays difficulty to Oxford You have not tried us yet
Mr Thornton laughed outright at this I believe I was talking with reference to a good deal that has been troubling us of late I was thinking of the strikes we have gone through which are troublesome and injurious things enough as I am finding to my cost And yet this last strike under which I am smarting has been respectable
A respectable strike said Mr Bell That sounds as if you were far gone in the worship of Thor
Margaret felt rather than saw that Mr Thornton was chagrined by the repeated turning into jest of what he was feeling as very serious She tried to change the conversation from a subject about which one party cared little while to the other it was deeply because personally interesting She forced herself to say something
Edith says she finds the printed calicoes in Corfu better and cheaper than in London
Does she said her father I think that must be one of Ediths exaggerations Are you sure of it Margaret
I am sure she says so papa
Then I am sure of the fact said Mr Bell Margaret I go so far in my idea of your truthfulness that it shall cover your cousins character I dont believe a cousin of yours could exaggerate
Is Miss Hale so remarkable for truth said Mr Thornton bitterly The moment he had done so he could have bitten his tongue out What was he And why should he stab her with her shame in this way How evil he was tonight possessed by illhumour at being detained so long from her irritated by the mention of some name because he thought it belonged to a more successful lover now illtempered because he had been unable to cope with a light heart against one who was trying by gay and careless speeches to make the evening pass pleasantly away—the kind old friend to all parties whose manner by this time might be well known to Mr Thornton who had been acquainted with him for many years And then to speak to Margaret as he had done She did not get up and leave the room as she had done in former days when his abruptness or his temper had annoyed her She sat quite still after the first momentary glance of grieved surprise that made her eyes look like some childs who has met with an unexpected rebuff they slowly dilated into mournful reproachful sadness and then they fell and she bent over her work and did not speak again But he could not help looking at her and he saw a sigh tremble over her body as if she quivered in some unwonted chill He felt as the mother would have done in the midst of her rocking it and rating it had she been called away before her slow confiding smile implying perfect trust in mothers love had proved the renewing of its love He gave short sharp answers he was uneasy and cross unable to discern between jest and earnest anxious only for a look a word of hers before which to prostrate himself in penitent humility But she neither looked nor spoke Her round taper fingers flew in and out of her sewing as steadily and swiftly as if that were the business of her life She could not care for him he thought or else the passionate fervour of his wish would have forced her to raise those eyes if but for an instant to read the late repentance in his He could have struck her before he left in order that by some strange overt act of rudeness he might earn the privilege of telling her the remorse that gnawed at his heart It was well that the long walk in the open air wound up this evening for him It sobered him back into grave resolution that henceforth he would see as little of her as possible—since the very sight of that face and form the very sounds of that voice like the soft winds of pure melody had such power to move him from his balance Well He had known what love was—a sharp pang a fierce experience in the midst of whose flames he was struggling but through that furnace he would fight his way out into the serenity of middle age—all the richer and more human for having known this great passion
When he had somewhat abruptly left the room Margaret rose from her seat and began silently to fold up her work the long seams were heavy and had an unusual weight for her languid arms The round lines in her face took a lengthened straighter form and her whole appearance was that of one who had gone through a day of great fatigue As the three prepared for bed Mr Bell muttered forth a little condemnation of Mr Thornton
I never saw a fellow so spoiled by success He cant bear a word a jest of any kind Everything seems to touch on the soreness of his high dignity Formerly he was as simple and noble as the open day you could not offend him because he had no vanity
He is not vain now said Margaret turning round from the table and speaking with quiet distinctness Tonight he has not been like himself Something must have annoyed him before he came here
Mr Bell gave her one of his sharp glances from above his spectacles She stood it quite calmly but after she had left the room he suddenly asked—
Hale did it ever strike you that Thornton and your daughter have what the French call a tendresse for each other
Never said Mr Hale first startled and then flurried by the new idea No I am sure you are wrong I am almost certain you are mistaken If there is anything it is all on Mr Thorntons side Poor fellow I hope and trust he is not thinking of her for I am sure she would not have him
Well Im a bachelor and have steered clear of love affairs all my life so perhaps my opinion is not worth having Or else I should say there were very pretty symptoms about her
Then I am sure you are wrong said Mr Hale He may care for her though she really has been almost rude to him at times But she—why Margaret would never think of him Im sure Such a thing has never entered her head
Entering her heart would do But I merely threw out a suggestion of what might be I dare say I was wrong And whether I was wrong or right Im very sleepy so having disturbed your nights rest as I can see with my untimely fancies Ill betake myself with an easy mind to my own
But Mr Hale resolved that he would not be disturbed by any such nonsensical idea so he lay awake determining not to think about it
Mr Bell took his leave the next day bidding Margaret look to him as one who had a right to help and protect her in all her troubles of whatever nature they might be To Mr Hale he said—
That Margaret of yours has gone deep into my heart Take care of her for she is a very precious creature—a great deal too good for Milton—only fit for Oxford in fact The town I mean not the men I cant match her yet When I can I shall bring my young man to stand side by side with your young woman just as the genie in the Arabian Nights brought Prince Caralmazan to match with the fairys Princess Badoura
I beg youll do no such thing Remember the misfortunes that ensued and besides I cant spare Margaret
No on second thoughts well have her to nurse us ten years hence when we shall be two cross old invalids Seriously Hale I wish youd leave Milton which is a most unsuitable place for you though it was my recommendation in the first instance. If you would Id swallow my shadows of doubts and take a college living and you and Margaret should come and live at the parsonage—you to be a sort of lay curate and take the unwashed off my hands and she to be our housekeeper—the village Lady Bountiful—by day and read us to sleep in the evenings I could be very happy in such a life What do you think of it
Never said Mr Hale decidedly My one great change has been made and my price of suffering paid Here I stay out my life and here will I be buried and lost in the crowd
I dont give up my plan yet Only I wont bait you with it any more just now Wheres the Pearl Come Margaret give me a farewell kiss and remember my dear where you may find a true friend as far as his capability goes You are my child Margaret Remember that and God bless you
So they fell back into the monotony of the quiet life they would henceforth lead There was no invalid to hope and fear about even the Higginses—so long a vivid interest—seemed to have receded from any need of immediate thought The Boucher children left motherless orphans claimed what of Margarets care she could bestow and she went pretty often to see Mary Higgins who had charge of them The two families were living in one house the elder children were at humble schools the younger ones were tended in Marys absence at her work by the kind neighbour whose good sense had struck Margaret at the time of Bouchers death Of course she was paid for her trouble and indeed in all his little plans and arrangements for these orphan children Nicholas showed a sober judgment and regulated method of thinking which were at variance with his former more eccentric jerks of action He was so steady at his work that Margaret did not often see him during these winter months but when she did she saw that he winced away from any reference to the father of those children whom he had so fully and heartily taken under his care He did not speak easily of Mr Thornton
To tell the truth said he he fairly bamboozles me Hes two chaps One chap I knowed of old as were measter all oer Tother chap hasnt an ounce of measters flesh about him How them two chaps is bound up in one body is a craddy for me to find out Ill not be beat by it though Meanwhile he comes here pretty often thats how I know the chap thats a man not a measter And I reckon hes taken aback by me pretty much as I am by him for he sits and listens and stares as if I were some strange beast newly caught in some of the zones But Im none daunted It would take a deal to daunt me in my own house as he sees And I tell him some of my mind that I reckon hed ha been the better of hearing when he were a younger man
And does he not answer you asked Mr Hale
Well Ill not say th advantage is all on his side for all I take credit for improving him above a bit Sometimes he says a rough thing or two which is not agreeable to look at at first but has a queer smack o truth in it when yo come to chew it Hell be coming tonight I reckon about them childers schooling Hes not satisfied wi the make of it and wants for t examine em
What are they—began Mr Hale but Margaret touching his arm showed him her watch
It is nearly seven she said The evenings are getting longer now Come papa She did not breathe freely till they were some distance from the house Then as she became more calm she wished that she had not been in so great a hurry for somehow they saw Mr Thornton but very seldom now and he might have come to see Higgins and for the old friendships sake she should like to have seen him tonight
Yes he came very seldom even for the dull cold purpose of lessons Mr Hale was disappointed in his pupils lukewarmness about Greek literature which had but a short time ago so great an interest for him And now it often happened that a hurried note from Mr Thornton would arrive just at the last moment saying that he was so much engaged that he could not come to read with Mr Hale that evening And though other pupils had taken more than his place as to time no one was like his first scholar in Mr Hales heart He was depressed and sad at this partial cessation of an intercourse which had become dear to him and he used to sit pondering over the reason that could have occasioned this change
He startled Margaret one evening as she sate at her work by suddenly asking
Margaret had you ever any reason for thinking that Mr Thornton cared for you
He almost blushed as he put this question but Mr Bells scouted idea recurred to him and the words were out of his mouth before he well knew what he was about
Margaret did not answer immediately but by the bent drooping of her head he guessed what her reply would be
Yes I believe—oh papa I should have told you And she dropped her work and hid her face in her hands
No dear dont think that I am impertinently curious I am sure you would have told me if you had felt that you could return his regard Did he speak to you about it
No answer at first but byandby a little gentle reluctant Yes
And you refused him
A long sigh a more helpless nerveless attitude and another Yes But before her father could speak Margaret lifted up her face rosy with some beautiful shame and fixing her eyes upon him said
Now papa I have told you this and I cannot tell you more and then the whole thing is so painful to me every word and action connected with it is so unspeakably bitter that I cannot bear to think of it Oh papa I am sorry to have lost you this friend but I could not help it—but oh I am very sorry She sate down on the ground and laid her head on his knees
I too am sorry my dear Mr Bell quite startled me when he said some idea of the kind—
Mr Bell Oh did Mr Bell see it
A little but he took it into his head that you—how shall I say it—that you were not ungraciously disposed towards Mr Thornton I knew that could never be I hoped the whole thing was but an imagination but I knew too well what your real feelings were to suppose that you could ever like Mr Thornton in that way But I am very sorry
They were very quiet and still for some minutes But on stroking her cheek in a caressing way soon after he was almost shocked to find her face wet with tears As he touched her she sprang up and smiling with forced brightness began to talk of the Lennoxes with such a vehement desire to turn the conversation that Mr Hale was too tenderhearted to try to force it back into the old channel
Tomorrow—yes tomorrow they will be back in Harley Street Oh how strange it will be I wonder what room they will make into the nursery Aunt Shaw will be happy with the baby Fancy Edith a mamma And Captain Lennox—I wonder what he will do with himself now he has sold out
Ill tell you what said her father anxious to indulge her in this fresh subject of interest I think I must spare you for a fortnight just to run up to town and see the travellers You could learn more by half an hours conversation with Mr Henry Lennox about Fredericks chances than in a dozen of these letters of his so it would in fact be uniting business with pleasure
No papa you cannot spare me and whats more I wont be spared Then after a pause she added I am losing hope sadly about Frederick he is letting us down gently but I can see that Mr Lennox himself has no hope of hunting up the witnesses under years and years of time No said she that bubble was very pretty and very dear to our hearts but it has burst like many another and we must console ourselves with being glad that Frederick is so happy and with being a great deal to each other So dont offend me by talking of being able to spare me papa for I assure you you cant
But the idea of a change took root and germinated in Margarets heart although not in the way in which her father proposed it at first She began to consider how desirable something of the kind would be to her father whose spirits always feeble now became too frequently depressed and whose health though he never complained had been seriously affected by his wifes illness and death There were the regular hours of reading with his pupils but that all giving and no receiving could no longer be called companionship as in the old days when Mr Thornton came to study under him Margaret was conscious of the want under which he was suffering unknown to himself the want of a mans intercourse with men At Helstone there had been perpetual occasions for an interchange of visits with neighbouring clergymen and the poor labourers in the fields or leisurely tramping home at eve or tending their cattle in the forest were always at liberty to speak or be spoken to But in Milton every one was too busy for quiet speech or any ripened intercourse of thought what they said was about business very present and actual and when the tension of mind relating to their daily affairs was over they sunk into fallow rest until next morning The workman was not to be found after the days work was done he had gone away to some lecture or some club or some beershop according to his degree of character Mr Hale thought of trying to deliver a course of lectures at some of the institutions but he contemplated doing this so much as an effort of duty and with so little of the genial impulse of love towards his work and its end that Margaret was sure that it would not be well done until he could look upon it with some kind of zest
CHAPTER XLI—THE JOURNEYS END
I see my way as birds their trackless way—
I shall arrive what time what circuit first
I ask not but unless God send his hail
Or blinding fireballs sleet or stifling snow
In some time—his good time—I shall arrive
He guides me and the bird In His good time
BROWNINGS PARACELSUS
So the winter was getting on and the days were beginning to lengthen without bringing with them any of the brightness of hope which usually accompanies the rays of a February sun Mrs Thornton had of course entirely ceased to come to the house Mr Thornton came occasionally but his visits were addressed to her father and were confined to the study Mr Hale spoke of him as always the same indeed the very rarity of their intercourse seemed to make Mr Hale set only the higher value on it And from what Margaret could gather of what Mr Thornton had said there was nothing in the cessation of his visits which could arise from any umbrage or vexation His business affairs had become complicated during the strike and required closer attention than he had given to them last winter Nay Margaret could even discover that he spoke from time to time of her and always as far as she could learn in the same calm friendly way never avoiding and never seeking any mention of her name
She was not in spirits to raise her fathers tone of mind The dreary peacefulness of the present time had been preceded by so long a period of anxiety and care—even intermixed with storms—that her mind had lost its elasticity She tried to find herself occupation in teaching the two younger Boucher children and worked hard at goodness hard I say most truly for her heart seemed dead to the end of all her efforts and though she made them punctually and painfully yet she stood as far off as ever from any cheerfulness her life seemed still bleak and dreary The only thing she did well was what she did out of unconscious piety the silent comforting and consoling of her father Not a mood of his but what found a ready sympathiser in Margaret not a wish of his that she did not strive to forecast and to fulfil They were quiet wishes to be sure and hardly named without hesitation and apology All the more complete and beautiful was her meek spirit of obedience March brought the news of Fredericks marriage He and Dolores wrote she in SpanishEnglish as was but natural and he with little turns and inversions of words which proved how far the idioms of his brides country were infecting him
On the receipt of Henry Lennoxs letter announcing how little hope there was of his ever clearing himself at a courtmartial in the absence of the missing witnesses Frederick had written to Margaret a pretty vehement letter containing his renunciation of England as his country he wished he could unnative himself and declared that he would not take his pardon if it were offered him nor live in the country if he had permission to do so All of which made Margaret cry sorely so unnatural did it seem to her at the first opening but on consideration she saw rather in such expression the poignancy of the disappointment which had thus crushed his hopes and she felt that there was nothing for it but patience In the next letter Frederick spoke so joyfully of the future that he had no thought for the past and Margaret found a use in herself for the patience she had been craving for him She would have to be patient But the pretty timid girlish letters of Dolores were beginning to have a charm for both Margaret and her father The young Spaniard was so evidently anxious to make a favourable impression upon her lovers English relations that her feminine care peeped out at every erasure and the letters announcing the marriage were accompanied by a splendid black lace mantilla chosen by Dolores herself for her unseen sisterinlaw whom Frederick had represented as a paragon of beauty wisdom and virtue Fredericks worldly position was raised by this marriage on to as high a level as they could desire Barbour and Co was one of the most extensive Spanish houses and into it he was received as a junior partner Margaret smiled a little and then sighed as she remembered afresh her old tirades against trade Here was her preux chevalier of a brother turned merchant trader But then she rebelled against herself and protested silently against the confusion implied between a Spanish merchant and a Milton millowner Well trade or no trade Frederick was very very happy Dolores must be charming and the mantilla was exquisite And then she returned to the present life
Her father had occasionally experienced a difficulty in breathing this spring which had for the time distressed him exceedingly Margaret was less alarmed as this difficulty went off completely in the intervals but she still was so desirous of his shaking off the liability altogether as to make her very urgent that he should accept Mr Bells invitation to visit him at Oxford this April Mr Bells invitation included Margaret Nay more he wrote a special letter commanding her to come but she felt as if it would be a greater relief to her to remain quietly at home entirely free from any responsibility whatever and so to rest her mind and heart in a manner which she had not been able to do for more than two years past
When her father had driven off on his way to the railroad Margaret felt how great and long had been the pressure on her time and her spirits It was astonishing almost stunning to feel herself so much at liberty no one depending on her for cheering care if not for positive happiness no invalid to plan and think for she might be idle and silent and forgetful—and what seemed worth more than all the other privileges—she might be unhappy if she liked For months past all her own personal cares and troubles had had to be stuffed away into a dark cupboard but now she had leisure to take them out and mourn over them and study their nature and seek the true method of subduing them into the elements of peace All these weeks she had been conscious of their existence in a dull kind of way though they were hidden out of sight Now once for all she would consider them and appoint to each of them its right work in her life So she sat almost motionless for hours in the drawingroom going over the bitterness of every remembrance with an unwincing resolution Only once she cried aloud at the stinging thought of the faithlessness which gave birth to that abasing falsehood
She now would not even acknowledge the force of the temptation her plans for Frederick had all failed and the temptation lay there a dead mockery—a mockery which had never had life in it the lie had been so despicably foolish seen by the light of the ensuing events and faith in the power of truth so infinitely the greater wisdom
In her nervous agitation she unconsciously opened a book of her fathers that lay upon the table—the words that caught her eye in it seemed almost made for her present state of acute selfabasement—
Je ne voudrois pas reprendre mon cœur en ceste sorte meurs de honte aveugle impudent traistre et desloyal a ton Dieu et sembables choses mais je voudrois le corriger par voye de compassion Or sus mon pauvre cœur nous voilà tombez dans la fosse laquelle nous avions tant resolu déschapper Ah relevonsnous et quittonsla pour jamais reclamons la misericorde de Dieu et esperons en elle quelle nous assistera pour desormais estre plus fermes et remettonsnous au chemin de lhumilité Courage soyons meshuy sur nos gardes Dieu nous aydera
The way of humility Ah thought Margaret that is what I have missed But courage little heart We will turn back and by Gods help we may find the lost path
So she rose up and determined at once to set to on some work which should take her out of herself To begin with she called in Martha as she passed the drawingroom door in going upstairs and tried to find out what was below the grave respectful servantlike manner which crusted over her individual character with an obedience that was almost mechanical She found it difficult to induce Martha to speak of any of her personal interests but at last she touched the right chord in naming Mrs Thornton Marthas whole face brightened and on a little encouragement out came a long story of how her father had been in early life connected with Mrs Thorntons husband—nay had even been in a position to show him some kindness what Martha hardly knew for it had happened when she was quite a little child and circumstances had intervened to separate the two families until Martha was nearly grown up when her father having sunk lower and lower from his original occupation as clerk in a warehouse and her mother being dead she and her sister to use Marthas own expression would have been lost but for Mrs Thornton who sought them out and thought for them and cared for them
I had had the fever and was but delicate and Mrs Thornton and Mr Thornton too they never rested till they had nursed me up in their own house and sent me to the sea and all The doctors said the fever was catching but they cared none for that—only Miss Fanny and she went avisiting these folk that she is going to marry into So though she was afraid at the time it has all ended well
Miss Fanny going to be married exclaimed Margaret
Yes and to a rich gentleman too only hes a deal older than she is His name is Watson and his mills are somewhere out beyond Hayleigh its a very good marriage for all hes got such gray hair
At this piece of information Margaret was silent long enough for Martha to recover her propriety and with it her habitual shortness of answer She swept up the hearth asked at what time she should prepare tea and quitted the room with the same wooden face with which she had entered it Margaret had to pull herself up from indulging a bad trick which she had lately fallen into of trying to imagine how every event that she heard of in relation to Mr Thornton would affect him whether he would like it or dislike it
The next day she had the little Boucher children for their lessons and took a long walk and ended by a visit to Mary Higgins Somewhat to Margarets surprise she found Nicholas already come home from his work the lengthening light had deceived her as to the lateness of the evening He too seemed by his manners to have entered a little more on the way of humility he was quieter and less selfasserting
So th oud gentlemans away on his travels is he said he Little uns telled me so Eh but theyre sharp uns they are I amost think they beat my own wenches for sharpness though mappen its wrong to say so and one on em in her grave Theres summut in th weather I reckon as sets folk awandering My measter him at th shop yonder is spinning about th world somewhere
Is that the reason youre so soon at home tonight asked Margaret innocently
Thou knowst nought about it thats all said he contemptuously Im not one wi two faces—one for my measter and tother for his back I counted a th clocks in the town striking afore Id leave my work No yon Thorntons good enough for to fight wi but too good for to be cheated It were you as getten me the place and I thank yo for it Thorntons is not a bad mill as times go Stand down lad and say yor pretty hymn to Miss Margaret Thats right steady on thy legs and right arm out as straight as a shewer One to stop two to stay three mak ready and four away
The little fellow repeated a Methodist hymn far above his comprehension in point of language but of which the swinging rhythm had caught his ear and which he repeated with all the developed cadence of a member of parliament When Margaret had duly applauded Nicholas called for another and yet another much to her surprise as she found him thus oddly and unconsciously led to take an interest in the sacred things which he had formerly scouted
It was past the usual teatime when she reached home but she had the comfort of feeling that no one had been kept waiting for her and of thinking her own thoughts while she rested instead of anxiously watching another person to learn whether to be grave or gay After tea she resolved to examine a large packet of letters and pick out those that were to be destroyed
Among them she came to four or five of Mr Henry Lennoxs relating to Fredericks affairs and she carefully read them over again with the sole intention when she began to ascertain exactly on how fine a chance the justification of her brother hung But when she had finished the last and weighed the pros and cons the little personal revelation of character contained in them forced itself on her notice It was evident enough from the stiffness of the wording that Mr Lennox had never forgotten his relation to her in any interest he might feel in the subject of the correspondence They were clever letters Margaret saw that in a twinkling but she missed out of them all hearty and genial atmosphere They were to be preserved however as valuable so she laid them carefully on one side When this little piece of business was ended she fell into a reverie and the thought of her absent father ran strangely in Margarets head this night She almost blamed herself for having felt her solitude and consequently his absence as a relief but these two days had set her up afresh with new strength and brighter hope Plans which had lately appeared to her in the guise of tasks now appeared like pleasures The morbid scales had fallen from her eyes and she saw her position and her work more truly If only Mr Thornton would restore her the lost friendship—nay if he would only come from time to time to cheer her father as in former days—though she should never see him she felt as if the course of her future life though not brilliant in prospect might lie clear and even before her She sighed as she rose up to go to bed In spite of the One steps enough for me—in spite of the one plain duty of devotion to her father—there lay at her heart an anxiety and a pang of sorrow
And Mr Hale thought of Margaret that April evening just as strangely and as persistently as she was thinking of him He had been fatigued by going about among his old friends and old familiar places He had had exaggerated ideas of the change which his altered opinions might make in his friends reception of him but although some of them might have felt shocked or grieved or indignant at his falling off in the abstract as soon as they saw the face of the man whom they had once loved they forgot his opinions in himself or only remembered them enough to give an additional tender gravity to their manner For Mr Hale had not been known to many he had belonged to one of the smaller colleges and had always been shy and reserved but those who in youth had cared to penetrate to the delicacy of thought and feeling that lay below his silence and indecision took him to their hearts with something of the protecting kindness which they would have shown to a woman And the renewal of this kindliness after the lapse of years and an interval of so much change overpowered him more than any roughness or expression of disapproval could have done
Im afraid weve done too much said Mr Bell Youre suffering now from having lived so long in that Milton air
I am tired said Mr Hale But it is not Milton air Im fiftyfive years of age and that little fact of itself accounts for any loss of strength
Nonsense Im upwards of sixty and feel no loss of strength either bodily or mental Dont let me hear you talking so Fiftyfive why youre quite a young man
Mr Hale shook his head These last few years said he But after a minutes pause he raised himself from his half recumbent position in one of Mr Bells luxurious easychairs and said with a kind of trembling earnestness
Bell youre not to think that if I could have foreseen all that would come of my change of opinion and my resignation of my living—no not even if I could have known how _she_ would have suffered—that I would undo it—the act of open acknowledgment that I no longer held the same faith as the church in which I was a priest As I think now even if I could have foreseen that cruellest martyrdom of suffering through the sufferings of one whom I loved I would have done just the same as far as that step of openly leaving the church went I might have done differently and acted more wisely in all that I subsequently did for my family But I dont think God endued me with overmuch wisdom or strength he added falling back into his old position
Mr Bell blew his nose ostentatiously before answering Then he said
He gave you strength to do what your conscience told you was right and I dont see that we need any higher or holier strength than that or wisdom either I know I have not that much and yet men set me down in their fools books as a wise man an independent character strongminded and all that cant The veriest idiot who obeys his own simple law of right if it be but in wiping his shoes on a doormat is wiser and stronger than I But what gulls men are
There was a pause Mr Hale spoke first in continuation of his thought
About Margaret
Well about Margaret What then
If I die——
Nonsense
What will become of her—I often think I suppose the Lennoxes will ask her to live with them I try to think they will Her aunt Shaw loved her well in her own quiet way but she forgets to love the absent
A very common fault What sort of people are the Lennoxes
He handsome fluent and agreeable Edith a sweet little spoiled beauty Margaret loves her with all her heart and Edith with as much of her heart as she can spare
Now Hale you know that girl of yours has got pretty nearly all my heart I told you that before Of course as your daughter as my goddaughter I took great interest in her before I saw her the last time But this visit that I paid to you at Milton made me her slave I went a willing old victim following the car of the conqueror For indeed she looks as grand and serene as one who has struggled and may be struggling and yet has the victory secure in sight Yes in spite of all her present anxieties that was the look on her face And so all I have is at her service if she needs it and will be hers whether she will or no when I die Moreover I myself will be her preux chevalier sixty and gouty though I be Seriously old friend your daughter shall be my principal charge in life and all the help that either my wit or my wisdom or my willing heart can give shall be hers I dont choose her out as a subject for fretting Something I know of old you must have to worry yourself about or you wouldnt be happy But youre going to outlive me by many a long year You spare thin men are always tempting and always cheating Death Its the stout florid fellows like me that always go off first
If Mr Bell had had a prophetic eye he might have seen the torch all but inverted and the angel with the grave and composed face standing very nigh beckoning to his friend That night Mr Hale laid his head down on the pillow on which it never more should stir with life The servant who entered his room in the morning received no answer to his speech drew near the bed and saw the calm beautiful face lying white and cold under the ineffaceable seal of death The attitude was exquisitely easy there had been no pain—no struggle The action of the heart must have ceased as he lay down
Mr Bell was stunned by the shock and only recovered when the time came for being angry at every suggestion of his mans
A coroners inquest Pooh You dont think I poisoned him Dr Forbes says it is just the natural end of a heart complaint Poor old Hale You wore out that tender heart of yours before its time Poor old friend how he talked of his—— Wallis pack up a carpetbag for me in five minutes Here have I been talking Pack it up I say I must go to Milton by the next train
The bag was packed the cab ordered the railway reached in twenty minutes from the moment of this decision The London train whizzed by drew back some yards and in Mr Bell was hurried by the impatient guard He threw himself back in his seat to try with closed eyes to understand how one in life yesterday could be dead today and shortly tears stole out between his grizzled eyelashes at the feeling of which he opened his keen eyes and looked as severely cheerful as his set determination could make him He was not going to blubber before a set of strangers Not he
There was no set of strangers only one sitting far from him on the same side By and bye Mr Bell peered at him to discover what manner of man it was that might have been observing his emotion and behind the great sheet of the outspread Times he recognised Mr Thornton
Why Thornton is that you said he removing hastily to a closer proximity He shook Mr Thornton vehemently by the hand until the gripe ended in a sudden relaxation for the hand was wanted to wipe away tears He had last seen Mr Thornton in his friend Hales company
Im going to Milton bound on a melancholy errand Going to break to Hales daughter the news of his sudden death
Death Mr Hale dead
Ay I keep saying it to myself Hale is dead but it doesnt make it any the more real Hale is dead for all that He went to bed well to all appearance last night and was quite cold this morning when my servant went to call him
Where I dont understand
At Oxford He came to stay with me hadnt been in Oxford this seventeen years—and this is the end of it
Not one word was spoken for above a quarter of an hour Then Mr Thornton said
And she and stopped full short
Margaret you mean Yes I am going to tell her Poor fellow how full his thoughts were of her all last night Good God Last night only And how immeasurably distant he is now But I take Margaret as my child for his sake I said last night I would take her for her own sake Well I take her for both
Mr Thornton made one or two fruitless attempts to speak before he could get out the words
What will become of her
I rather fancy there will be two people waiting for her myself for one I would take a live dragon into my house to live if by hiring such a chaperon and setting up an establishment of my own I could make my old age happy with having Margaret for a daughter But there are those Lennoxes
Who are they asked Mr Thornton with trembling interest
Oh smart London people who very likely will think theyve the best right to her Captain Lennox married her cousin—the girl she was brought up with Good enough people I dare say And theres her aunt Mrs Shaw There might be a way open perhaps by my offering to marry that worthy lady but that would be quite a pis aller And then theres that brother
What brother A brother of her aunts
No no a clever Lennox the captains a fool you must understand a young barrister who will be setting his cap at Margaret I know he has had her in his mind this five years or more one of his chums told me as much and he was only kept back by her want of fortune Now that will be done away with
How asked Mr Thornton too earnestly curious to be aware of the impertinence of his question
Why shell have my money at my death And if this Henry Lennox is half good enough for her and she likes him—well I might find another way of getting a home through a marriage Im dreadfully afraid of being tempted at an unguarded moment by the aunt
Neither Mr Bell nor Mr Thornton was in a laughing humour so the oddity of any of the speeches which the former made was unnoticed by them Mr Bell whistled without emitting any sound beyond a long hissing breath changed his seat without finding comfort or rest while Mr Thornton sat immoveably still his eyes fixed on one spot in the newspaper which he had taken up in order to give himself leisure to think
Where have you been asked Mr Bell at length
To Havre Trying to detect the secret of the great rise in the price of cotton
Ugh Cotton and speculations and smoke wellcleansed and wellcaredfor machinery and unwashed and neglected hands Poor old Hale Poor old Hale If you could have known the change which it was to him from Helstone Do you know the New Forest at all
Yes Very shortly
Then you can fancy the difference between it and Milton What part were you in Were you ever at Helstone a little picturesque village like some in the Odenwald You know Helstone
I have seen it It was a great change to leave it and come to Milton
He took up his newspaper with a determined air as if resolved to avoid further conversation and Mr Bell was fain to resort to his former occupation of trying to find out how he could best break the news to Margaret
She was at an upstairs window she saw him alight she guessed the truth with an instinctive flash She stood in the middle of the drawingroom as if arrested in her first impulse to rush downstairs and as if by the same restraining thought she had been turned to stone so white and immoveable was she
Oh dont tell me I know it from your face You would have sent—you would not have left him—if he were alive Oh papa papa
CHAPTER XLII—ALONE ALONE
When some beloved voice that was to you
Both sound and sweetness faileth suddenly
And silence against which you dare not cry
Aches round you like a strong disease and new—
What hope what help what music will undo
That silence to your sense
MRS BROWNING
The shock had been great Margaret fell into a state of prostration which did not show itself in sobs and tears or even find the relief of words She lay on the sofa with her eyes shut never speaking but when spoken to and then replying in whispers Mr Bell was perplexed He dared not leave her he dared not ask her to accompany him back to Oxford which had been one of the plans he had formed on the journey to Milton her physical exhaustion was evidently too complete for her to undertake any such fatigue—putting the sight that she would have to encounter out of the question Mr Bell sate over the fire considering what he had better do Margaret lay motionless and almost breathless by him He would not leave her even for the dinner which Dixon had prepared for him downstairs and with sobbing hospitality would fain have tempted him to eat He had a plateful of something brought up to him In general he was particular and dainty enough and knew well each shade of flavour in his food but now the devilled chicken tasted like sawdust He minced up some of the fowl for Margaret and peppered and salted it well but when Dixon following his directions tried to feed her the languid shake of head proved that in such a state as Margaret was in food would only choke not nourish her
Mr Bell gave a great sigh lifted up his stout old limbs stiff with travelling from their easy position and followed Dixon out of the room
I cant leave her I must write to them at Oxford to see that the preparations are made they can be getting on with these till I arrive Cant Mrs Lennox come to her Ill write and tell her she must The girl must have some womanfriend about her if only to talk her into a good fit of crying
Dixon was crying—enough for two but after wiping her eyes and steadying her voice she managed to tell Mr Bell that Mrs Lennox was too near her confinement to be able to undertake any journey at present
Well I suppose we must have Mrs Shaw shes come back to England isnt she
Yes sir shes come back but I dont think she will like to leave Mrs Lennox at such an interesting time said Dixon who did not much approve of a stranger entering the household to share with her in her ruling care of Margaret
Interesting time be— Mr Bell restricted himself to coughing over the end of his sentence She could be content to be at Venice or Naples or some of those Popish places at the last interesting time which took place in Corfu I think And what does that little prosperous womans interesting time signify in comparison with that poor creature there—that helpless homeless friendless Margaret—lying as still on that sofa as if it were an altartomb and she the stone statue on it I tell you Mrs Shaw shall come See that a room or whatever she wants is got ready for her by tomorrow night Ill take care she comes
Accordingly Mr Bell wrote a letter which Mrs Shaw declared with many tears to be so like one of the dear generals when he was going to have a fit of the gout that she should always value and preserve it If he had given her the option by requesting or urging her as if a refusal were possible she might not have come—true and sincere as was her sympathy with Margaret It needed the sharp uncourteous command to make her conquer her vis inertiae and allow herself to be packed by her maid after the latter had completed the boxes Edith all cap shawls and tears came out to the top of the stairs as Captain Lennox was taking her mother down to the carriage
Dont forget mamma Margaret must come and live with us Sholto will go to Oxford on Wednesday and you must send word by Mr Bell to him when were to expect you And if you want Sholto he can go on from Oxford to Milton Dont forget mamma you are to bring back Margaret
Edith reentered the drawingroom Mr Henry Lennox was there cutting open the pages of a new Review Without lifting his head he said If you dont like Sholto to be so long absent from you Edith I hope you will let me go down to Milton and give what assistance I can
Oh thank you said Edith I dare say old Mr Bell will do everything he can and more help may not be needed Only one does not look for much savoirfaire from a resident Fellow Dear darling Margaret wont it be nice to have her here again You were both great allies years ago
Were we asked he indifferently with an appearance of being interested in a passage in the Review
Well perhaps not—I forget I was so full of Sholto But doesnt it fall out well that if my uncle was to die it should be just now when we are come home and settled in the old house and quite ready to receive Margaret Poor thing what a change it will be to her from Milton Ill have new chintz for her bedroom and make it look new and bright and cheer her up a little
In the same spirit of kindness Mrs Shaw journeyed to Milton occasionally dreading the first meeting and wondering how it would be got over but more frequently planning how soon she could get Margaret away from that horrid place and back into the pleasant comforts of Harley Street
Oh dear she said to her maid look at those chimneys My poor sister Hale I dont think I could have rested at Naples if I had known what it was I must have come and fetched her and Margaret away And to herself she acknowledged that she had always thought her brotherinlaw rather a weak man but never so weak as now when she saw for what a place he had exchanged the lovely Helstone home
Margaret had remained in the same state white motionless speechless tearless They had told her that her aunt Shaw was coming but she had not expressed either surprise or pleasure or dislike to the idea Mr Bell whose appetite had returned and who appreciated Dixons endeavours to gratify it in vain urged upon her to taste some sweetbreads stewed with oysters she shook her head with the same quiet obstinacy as on the previous day and he was obliged to console himself for her rejection by eating them all himself But Margaret was the first to hear the stopping of the cab that brought her aunt from the railway station Her eyelids quivered her lips coloured and trembled Mr Bell went down to meet Mrs Shaw and when they came up Margaret was standing trying to steady her dizzy self and when she saw her aunt she went forward to the arms open to receive her and first found the passionate relief of tears on her aunts shoulder All thoughts of quiet habitual love of tenderness for years of relationship to the dead—all that inexplicable likeness in look tone and gesture that seem to belong to one family and which reminded Margaret so forcibly at this moment of her mother—came in to melt and soften her numbed heart into the overflow of warm tears
Mr Bell stole out of the room and went down into the study where he ordered a fire and tried to divert his thoughts by taking down and examining the different books Each volume brought a remembrance or a suggestion of his dead friend It might be a change of employment from his two days work of watching Margaret but it was no change of thought He was glad to catch the sound of Mr Thorntons voice making enquiry at the door Dixon was rather cavalierly dismissing him for with the appearance of Mrs Shaws maid came visions of former grandeur of the Beresford blood of the station so she was pleased to term it from which her young lady had been ousted and to which she was now please God to be restored These visions which she had been dwelling on with complacency in her conversation with Mrs Shaws maid skilfully eliciting meanwhile all the circumstances of state and consequence connected with the Harley Street establishment for the edification of the listening Martha made Dixon rather inclined to be supercilious in her treatment of any inhabitant of Milton so though she always stood rather in awe of Mr Thornton she was as curt as she durst be in telling him that he could see none of the inmates of the house that night It was rather uncomfortable to be contradicted in her statement by Mr Bells opening the studydoor and calling out
Thornton is that you Come in for a minute or two I want to speak to you So Mr Thornton went into the study and Dixon had to retreat into the kitchen and reinstate herself in her own esteem by a prodigious story of Sir John Beresfords coach and six when he was high sheriff
I dont know what I wanted to say to you after all Only its dull enough to sit in a room where everything speaks to you of a dead friend Yet Margaret and her aunt must have the drawingroom to themselves
Is Mrs—is her aunt come asked Mr Thornton
Come Yes maid and all One would have thought she might have come by herself at such a time And now I shall have to turn out and find my way to the Clarendon
You must not go to the Clarendon We have five or six empty bedrooms at home
Well aired
I think you may trust my mother for that
Then Ill only run upstairs and wish that wan girl goodnight and make my bow to her aunt and go off with you straight
Mr Bell was some time upstairs Mr Thornton began to think it long for he was full of business and had hardly been able to spare the time for running up to Crampton and enquiring how Miss Hale was
When they had set out upon their walk Mr Bell said
I was kept by those women in the drawingroom Mrs Shaw is anxious to get home—on account of her daughter she says—and wants Margaret to go off with her at once Now she is no more fit for travelling than I am for flying Besides she says and very justly that she has friends she must see—that she must wish goodbye to several people and then her aunt worried her about old claims and was she forgetful of old friends And she said with a great burst of crying she should be glad enough to go from a place where she had suffered so much Now I must return to Oxford tomorrow and I dont know on which side of the scale to throw in my voice
He paused as if asking a question but he received no answer from his companion the echo of whose thoughts kept repeating—
Where she had suffered so much Alas and that was the way in which this eighteen months in Milton—to him so unspeakably precious down to its very bitterness which was worth all the rest of lifes sweetness—would be remembered Neither loss of father nor loss of mother dear as she was to Mr Thornton could have poisoned the remembrance of the weeks the days the hours when a walk of two miles every step of which was pleasant as it brought him nearer and nearer to her took him to her sweet presence—every step of which was rich as each recurring moment that bore him away from her made him recall some fresh grace in her demeanour or pleasant pungency in her character Yes whatever had happened to him external to his relation to her he could never have spoken of that time when he could have seen her every day—when he had her within his grasp as it were—as a time of suffering It had been a royal time of luxury to him with all its stings and contumelies compared to the poverty that crept round and clipped the anticipation of the future down to sordid fact and life without an atmosphere of either hope or fear
Mrs Thornton and Fanny were in the diningroom the latter in a flutter of small exultation as the maid held up one glossy material after another to try the effect of the weddingdresses by candlelight Her mother really tried to sympathise with her but could not Neither taste nor dress were in her line of subjects and she heartily wished that Fanny had accepted her brothers offer of having the wedding clothes provided by some firstrate London dressmaker without the endless troublesome discussions and unsettled wavering that arose out of Fannys desire to choose and superintend everything herself Mr Thornton was only too glad to mark his grateful approbation of any sensible man who could be captivated by Fannys secondrate airs and graces by giving her ample means for providing herself with the finery which certainly rivalled if it did not exceed the lover in her estimation When her brother and Mr Bell came in Fanny blushed and simpered and fluttered over the signs of her employment in a way which could not have failed to draw attention from any one else but Mr Bell If he thought about her and her silks and satins at all it was to compare her and them with the pale sorrow he had left behind him sitting motionless with bent head and folded hands in a room where the stillness was so great that you might almost fancy the rush in your straining ears was occasioned by the spirits of the dead yet hovering round their beloved For when Mr Bell had first gone upstairs Mrs Shaw lay asleep on the sofa and no sound broke the silence
Mrs Thornton gave Mr Bell her formal hospitable welcome She was never so gracious as when receiving her sons friends in her sons house and the more unexpected they were the more honour to her admirable housekeeping preparations for comfort
How is Miss Hale she asked
About as broken down by this last stroke as she can be
I am sure it is very well for her that she has such a friend as you
I wish I were her only friend madam I daresay it sounds very brutal but here have I been displaced and turned out of my post of comforter and adviser by a fine lady aunt and there are cousins and what not claiming her in London as if she were a lapdog belonging to them And she is too weak and miserable to have a will of her own
She must indeed be weak said Mrs Thornton with an implied meaning which her son understood well But where continued Mrs Thornton have these relations been all this time that Miss Hale has appeared almost friendless and has certainly had a good deal of anxiety to bear But she did not feel interest enough in the answer to her question to wait for it She left the room to make her household arrangements
They have been living abroad They have some kind of claim upon her I will do them that justice The aunt brought her up and she and the cousin have been like sisters The thing vexing me you see is that I wanted to take her for a child of my own and I am jealous of these people who dont seem to value the privilege of their right Now it would be different if Frederick claimed her
Frederick exclaimed Mr Thornton Who is he What right— He stopped short in his vehement question
Frederick said Mr Bell in surprise Why dont you know Hes her brother Have you not heard—
I never heard his name before Where is he Who is he
Surely I told you about him when the family first came to Milton—the son who was concerned in that mutiny
I never heard of him till this moment Where does he live
In Spain Hes liable to be arrested the moment he sets foot on English ground Poor fellow he will grieve at not being able to attend his fathers funeral We must be content with Captain Lennox for I dont know of any other relation to summon
I hope I may be allowed to go
Certainly thankfully Youre a good fellow after all Thornton Hale liked you He spoke to me only the other day about you at Oxford He regretted he had seen so little of you lately I am obliged to you for wishing to show him respect
But about Frederick Does he never come to England
Never
He was not over here about the time of Mrs Hales death
No Why I was here then I hadnt seen Hale for years and years and if you remember I came—No it was some time after that that I came But poor Frederick Hale was not here then What made you think he was
I saw a young man walking with Miss Hale one day replied Mr Thornton and I think it was about that time
Oh that would be this young Lennox the Captains brother Hes a lawyer and they were in pretty constant correspondence with him and I remember Mr Hale told me he thought he would come down Do you know said Mr Bell wheeling round and shutting one eye the better to bring the forces of the other to bear with keen scrutiny on Mr Thorntons face that I once fancied you had a little tenderness for Margaret
No answer No change of countenance
And so did poor Hale Not at first and not till I had put it into his head
I admired Miss Hale Every one must do so She is a beautiful creature said Mr Thornton driven to bay by Mr Bells pertinacious questioning
Is that all You can speak of her in that measured way as simply a beautiful creature—only something to catch the eye I did hope you had had nobleness enough in you to make you pay her the homage of the heart Though I believe—in fact I know she would have rejected you still to have loved her without return would have lifted you higher than all those be they who they may that have never known her to love Beautiful creature indeed Do you speak of her as you would of a horse or a dog
Mr Thorntons eyes glowed like red embers
Mr Bell said he before you speak so you should remember that all men are not as free to express what they feel as you are Let us talk of something else For though his heart leaped up as at a trumpetcall to every word that Mr Bell had said and though he knew that what he had said would henceforward bind the thought of the old Oxford Fellow closely up with the most precious things of his heart yet he would not be forced into any expression of what he felt towards Margaret He was no mockingbird of praise to try because another extolled what he reverenced and passionately loved to outdo him in laudation So he turned to some of the dry matters of business that lay between Mr Bell and him as landlord and tenant
What is that heap of brick and mortar we came against in the yard Any repairs wanted
No none thank you
Are you building on your own account If you are Im very much obliged to you
Im building a diningroom—for the men I mean—the hands
I thought you were hard to please if this room wasnt good enough to satisfy you a bachelor
Ive got acquainted with a strange kind of chap and I put one or two children in whom he is interested to school So as I happened to be passing near his house one day I just went there about some trifling payment to be made and I saw such a miserable black frizzle of a dinner—a greasy cinder of meat as first set me athinking But it was not till provisions grew so high this winter that I bethought me how by buying things wholesale and cooking a good quantity of provisions together much money might be saved and much comfort gained So I spoke to my friend—or my enemy—the man I told you of—and he found fault with every detail of my plan and in consequence I laid it aside both as impracticable and also because if I forced it into operation I should be interfering with the independence of my men when suddenly this Higgins came to me and graciously signified his approval of a scheme so nearly the same as mine that I might fairly have claimed it and moreover the approval of several of his fellowworkmen to whom he had spoken I was a little riled I confess by his manner and thought of throwing the whole thing overboard to sink or swim But it seemed childish to relinquish a plan which I had once thought wise and welllaid just because I myself did not receive all the honour and consequence due to the originator So I coolly took the part assigned to me which is something like that of steward to a club I buy in the provisions wholesale and provide a fitting matron or cook
I hope you give satisfaction in your new capacity Are you a good judge of potatoes and onions But I suppose Mrs Thornton assists you in your marketing
Not a bit replied Mr Thornton She disapproves of the whole plan and now we never mention it to each other But I manage pretty well getting in great stocks from Liverpool and being served in butchers meat by our own family butcher I can assure you the hot dinners the matron turns out are by no means to be despised
Do you taste each dish as it goes in in virtue of your office I hope you have a white wand
I was very scrupulous at first in confining myself to the mere purchasing part and even in that I rather obeyed the mens orders conveyed through the housekeeper than went by my own judgment At one time the beef was too large at another the mutton was not fat enough I think they saw how careful I was to leave them free and not to intrude my own ideas upon them so one day two or three of the men—my friend Higgins among them—asked me if I would not come in and take a snack It was a very busy day but I saw that the men would be hurt if after making the advance I didnt meet them halfway so I went in and I never made a better dinner in my life I told them my next neighbours I mean for Im no speechmaker how much Id enjoyed it and for some time whenever that especial dinner recurred in their dietary I was sure to be met by these men with a Master theres hotpot for dinner today win yo come If they had not asked me I would no more have intruded on them than Id have gone to the mess at the barracks without invitation
I should think you were rather a restraint on your hosts conversation They cant abuse the masters while youre there I suspect they take it out on nonhotpot days
Well hitherto weve steered clear of all vexed questions But if any of the old disputes came up again I would certainly speak out my mind next hotpot day But you are hardly acquainted with our Darkshire fellows for all youre a Darkshire man yourself They have such a sense of humour and such a racy mode of expression I am getting really to know some of them now and they talk pretty freely before me
Nothing like the act of eating for equalising men Dying is nothing to it The philosopher dies sententiously—the pharisee ostentatiously—the simplehearted humbly—the poor idiot blindly as the sparrow falls to the ground the philosopher and idiot publican and pharisee all eat after the same fashion—given an equally good digestion Theres theory for theory for you
Indeed I have no theory I hate theories
I beg your pardon To show my penitence will you accept a ten pound note towards your marketing and give the poor fellows a feast
Thank you but Id rather not They pay me rent for the oven and cookingplaces at the back of the mill and will have to pay more for the new diningroom I dont want it to fall into a charity I dont want donations Once let in the principle and I should have people going and talking and spoiling the simplicity of the whole thing
People will talk about any new plan You cant help that
My enemies if I have any may make a philanthropic fuss about this dinnerscheme but you are a friend and I expect you will pay my experiment the respect of silence It is but a new broom at present and sweeps clean enough But byandby we shall meet with plenty of stumblingblocks no doubt
CHAPTER XLIII—MARGARETS FLITTIN
The meanest thing to which we bid adieu
Loses its meanness in the parting hour
ELLIOTT
Mrs Shaw took as vehement a dislike as it was possible for one of her gentle nature to do against Milton It was noisy and smoky and the poor people whom she saw in the streets were dirty and the rich ladies overdressed and not a man that she saw high or low had his clothes made to fit him She was sure Margaret would never regain her lost strength while she stayed in Milton and she herself was afraid of one of her old attacks of the nerves Margaret must return with her and that quickly This if not the exact force of her words was at any rate the spirit of what she urged on Margaret till the latter weak weary and brokenspirited yielded a reluctant promise that as soon as Wednesday was over she would prepare to accompany her aunt back to town leaving Dixon in charge of all the arrangements for paying bills disposing of furniture and shutting up the house Before that Wednesday—that mournful Wednesday when Mr Hale was to be interred far away from either of the homes he had known in life and far away from the wife who lay lonely among strangers and this last was Margarets great trouble for she thought that if she had not given way to that overwhelming stupor during the first sad days she could have arranged things otherwise—before that Wednesday Margaret received a letter from Mr Bell
MY DEAR MARGARET—I did mean to have returned to Milton on Thursday but unluckily it turns out to be one of the rare occasions when we Plymouth Fellows are called upon to perform any kind of duty and I must not be absent from my post Captain Lennox and Mr Thornton are here The former seems a smart wellmeaning man and has proposed to go over to Milton and assist you in any search for the will of course there is none or you would have found it by this time if you followed my directions Then the Captain declares he must take you and his motherinlaw home and in his wifes present state I dont see how you can expect him to remain away longer than Friday However that Dixon of yours is trusty and can hold her or your own till I come I will put matters into the hands of my Milton attorney if there is no will for I doubt this smart captain is no great man of business Nevertheless his moustachios are splendid There will have to be a sale so select what things you wish reserved Or you can send a list afterwards Now two things more and I have done You know or if you dont your poor father did that you are to have my money and goods when I die Not that I mean to die yet but I name this just to explain what is coming These Lennoxes seem very fond of you now and perhaps may continue to be perhaps not So it is best to start with a formal agreement namely that you are to pay them two hundred and fifty pounds a year as long as you and they find it pleasant to live together This of course includes Dixon mind you dont be cajoled into paying any more for her Then you wont be thrown adrift if some day the captain wishes to have his house to himself but you can carry yourself and your two hundred and fifty pounds off somewhere else if indeed I have not claimed you to come and keep house for me first Then as to dress and Dixon and personal expenses and confectionery all young ladies eat confectionery till wisdom comes by age I shall consult some lady of my acquaintance and see how much you will have from your father before fixing this Now Margaret have you flown out before you have read this far and wondered what right the old man has to settle your affairs for you so cavalierly I make no doubt you have Yet the old man has a right He has loved your father for five and thirty years he stood beside him on his weddingday he closed his eyes in death Moreover he is your godfather and as he cannot do you much good spiritually having a hidden consciousness of your superiority in such things he would fain do you the poor good of endowing you materially And the old man has not a known relation on earth who is there to mourn for Adam Bell and his whole heart is set and bent upon this one thing and Margaret Hale is not the girl to say him nay Write by return if only two lines to tell me your answer But _no thanks_
Margaret took up a pen and scrawled with trembling hand Margaret Hale is not the girl to say him nay In her weak state she could not think of any other words and yet she was vexed to use these But she was so much fatigued even by this slight exertion that if she could have thought of another form of acceptance she could not have sate up to write a syllable of it She was obliged to lie down again and try not to think
My dearest child Has that letter vexed or troubled you
No said Margaret feebly I shall be better when tomorrow is over
I feel sure darling you wont be better till I get you out of this horrid air How you can have borne it this two years I cant imagine
Where could I go to I could not leave papa and mamma
Well dont distress yourself my dear I dare say it was all for the best only I had no conception of how you were living Our butlers wife lives in a better house than this
It is sometimes very pretty—in summer you cant judge by what it is now I have been very happy here and Margaret closed her eyes by way of stopping the conversation
The house teemed with comfort now compared to what it had done The evenings were chilly and by Mrs Shaws directions fires were lighted in every bedroom She petted Margaret in every possible way and bought every delicacy or soft luxury in which she herself would have burrowed and sought comfort But Margaret was indifferent to all these things or if they forced themselves upon her attention it was simply as causes for gratitude to her aunt who was putting herself so much out of her way to think of her She was restless though so weak All the day long she kept herself from thinking of the ceremony which was going on at Oxford by wandering from room to room and languidly setting aside such articles as she wished to retain Dixon followed her by Mrs Shaws desire ostensibly to receive instructions but with a private injunction to soothe her into repose as soon as might be
These books Dixon I will keep All the rest will you send to Mr Bell They are of a kind that he will value for themselves as well as for papas sake This—— I should like you to take this to Mr Thornton after I am gone Stay I will write a note with it And she sate down hastily as if afraid of thinking and wrote
DEAR SIR—The accompanying book I am sure will be valued by you for the sake of my father to whom it belonged
Yours sincerely
MARGARET HALE
She set out again upon her travels through the house turning over articles known to her from her childhood with a sort of caressing reluctance to leave them—oldfashioned worn and shabby as they might be But she hardly spoke again and Dixons report to Mrs Shaw was that she doubted whether Miss Hale heard a word of what she said though she talked the whole time in order to divert her attention The consequence of being on her feet all day was excessive bodily weariness in the evening and a better nights rest than she had had since she had heard of Mr Hales death
At breakfast time the next day she expressed her wish to go and bid one or two friends goodbye Mrs Shaw objected
I am sure my dear you can have no friends here with whom you are sufficiently intimate to justify you in calling upon them so soon before you have been at church
But today is my only day if Captain Lennox comes this afternoon and if we must—if I must really go tomorrow——
Oh yes we shall go tomorrow I am more and more convinced that this air is bad for you and makes you look so pale and ill besides Edith expects us and she may be waiting me and you cannot be left alone my dear at your age No if you must pay these calls I will go with you Dixon can get us a coach I suppose
So Mrs Shaw went to take care of Margaret and took her maid with her to take care of the shawls and aircushions Margarets face was too sad to lighten up into a smile at all this preparation for paying two visits that she had often made by herself at all hours of the day She was half afraid of owning that one place to which she was going was Nicholas Higgins all she could do was to hope her aunt would be indisposed to get out of the coach and walk up the court and at every breath of wind have her face slapped by wet clothes hanging out to dry on ropes stretched from house to house
There was a little battle in Mrs Shaws mind between ease and a sense of matronly propriety but the former gained the day and with many an injunction to Margaret to be careful of herself and not to catch any fever such as was always lurking in such places her aunt permitted her to go where she had often been before without taking any precaution or requiring any permission
Nicholas was out only Mary and one or two of the Boucher children at home Margaret was vexed with herself for not having timed her visit better Mary had a very blunt intellect although her feelings were warm and kind and the instant she understood what Margarets purpose was in coming to see them she began to cry and sob with so little restraint that Margaret found it useless to say any of the thousand little things which had suggested themselves to her as she was coming along in the coach She could only try to comfort her a little by suggesting the vague chance of their meeting again at some possible time in some possible place and bid her tell her father how much she wished if he could manage it that he should come to see her when he had done his work in the evening
As she was leaving the place she stopped and looked round then hesitated a little before she said
I should like to have some little thing to remind me of Bessy
Instantly Marys generosity was keenly alive What could they give And on Margarets singling out a little common drinkingcup which she remembered as the one always standing by Bessys side with drink for her feverish lips Mary said
Oh take summut better that only cost fourpence
That will do thank you said Margaret and she went quickly away while the light caused by the pleasure of having something to give yet lingered on Marys face
Now to Mrs Thorntons thought she to herself It must be done But she looked rather rigid and pale at the thought of it and had hard work to find the exact words in which to explain to her aunt who Mrs Thornton was and why she should go to bid her farewell
They for Mrs Shaw alighted here were shown into the drawingroom in which a fire had only just been kindled Mrs Shaw huddled herself up in her shawl and shivered
What an icy room she said
They had to wait for some time before Mrs Thornton entered There was some softening in her heart towards Margaret now that she was going away out of her sight She remembered her spirit as shown at various times and places even more than the patience with which she had endured long and wearing cares Her countenance was blander than usual as she greeted her there was even a shade of tenderness in her manner as she noticed the white tearswollen face and the quiver in the voice which Margaret tried to make so steady
Allow me to introduce my aunt Mrs Shaw I am going away from Milton tomorrow I do not know if you are aware of it but I wanted to see you once again Mrs Thornton to—to apologise for my manner the last time I saw you and to say that I am sure you meant kindly—however much we may have misunderstood each other
Mrs Shaw looked extremely perplexed by what Margaret had said Thanks for kindness and apologies for failure in good manners But Mrs Thornton replied
Miss Hale I am glad you do me justice I did no more than I believed to be my duty in remonstrating with you as I did I have always desired to act the part of a friend to you I am glad you do me justice
And said Margaret blushing excessively as she spoke will you do me justice and believe that though I cannot—I do not choose—to give explanations of my conduct I have not acted in the unbecoming way you apprehended
Margarets voice was so soft and her eyes so pleading that Mrs Thornton was for once affected by the charm of manner to which she had hitherto proved herself invulnerable
Yes I do believe you Let us say no more about it Where are you going to reside Miss Hale I understood from Mr Bell that you were going to leave Milton You never liked Milton you know said Mrs Thornton with a sort of grim smile but for all that you must not expect me to congratulate you on quitting it Where shall you live
With my aunt replied Margaret turning towards Mrs Shaw
My niece will reside with me in Harley Street She is almost like a daughter to me said Mrs Shaw looking fondly at Margaret and I am glad to acknowledge my own obligation for any kindness that has been shown to her If you and your husband ever come to town my son and daughter Captain and Mrs Lennox will I am sure join with me in wishing to do anything in our power to show you attention
Mrs Thornton thought in her own mind that Margaret had not taken much care to enlighten her aunt as to the relationship between the Mr and Mrs Thornton towards whom the finelady aunt was extending her soft patronage so she answered shortly
My husband is dead Mr Thornton is my son I never go to London so I am not likely to be able to avail myself of your polite offers
At this instant Mr Thornton entered the room he had only just returned from Oxford His mourning suit spoke of the reason that had called him there
John said his mother this lady is Mrs Shaw Miss Hales aunt I am sorry to say that Miss Hales call is to wish us goodbye
You are going then said he in a low voice
Yes said Margaret We leave tomorrow
My soninlaw comes this evening to escort us said Mrs Shaw
Mr Thornton turned away He had not sat down and now he seemed to be examining something on the table almost as if he had discovered an unopened letter which had made him forget the present company He did not even seem to be aware when they got up to take leave He started forwards however to hand Mrs Shaw down to the carriage As it drove up he and Margaret stood close together on the doorstep and it was impossible but that the recollection of the day of the riot should force itself into both their minds Into his it came associated with the speeches of the following day her passionate declaration that there was not a man in all that violent and desperate crowd for whom she did not care as much as for him And at the remembrance of her taunting words his brow grew stern though his heart beat thick with longing love No said he I put it to the touch once and I lost it all Let her go—with her stony heart and her beauty—how set and terrible her look is now for all her loveliness of feature She is afraid I shall speak what will require some stern repression Let her go Beauty and heiress as she may be she will find it hard to meet with a truer heart than mine Let her go
And there was no tone of regret or emotion of any kind in the voice with which he said goodbye and the offered hand was taken with a resolute calmness and dropped as carelessly as if it had been a dead and withered flower But none in his household saw Mr Thornton again that day He was busily engaged or so he said
Margarets strength was so utterly exhausted by these visits that she had to submit to much watching and petting and sighing Itoldyousos from her aunt Dixon said she was quite as bad as she had been on the first day she heard of her fathers death and she and Mrs Shaw consulted as to the desirableness of delaying the morrows journey But when her aunt reluctantly proposed a few days delay to Margaret the latter writhed her body as if in acute suffering and said
Oh let us go I cannot be patient here I shall not get well here I want to forget
So the arrangements went on and Captain Lennox came and with him news of Edith and the little boy and Margaret found that the indifferent careless conversation of one who however kind was not too warm and anxious a sympathiser did her good She roused up and by the time that she knew she might expect Higgins she was able to leave the room quietly and await in her own chamber the expected summons
Eh said he as she came in to think of th oud gentleman dropping off as he did Yo might ha knocked me down wi a straw when they telled me Mr Hale said I him as was th parson Ay said they Then said I theres as good a man gone as ever lived on this earth let who will be t other And I came to see yo and tell yo how grieved I were but them women in th kitchen wouldnt tell yo I were there They said yo were ill—and butter me but yo dunnot look like th same wench And yore going to be a grand lady up i Lunnon arent yo
Not a grand lady said Margaret half smiling
Well Thornton said—says he a day or two ago Higgins have yo seen Miss Hale No says I theres a pack o women who wont let me at her But I can bide my time if shes ill She and I knows each other pretty well and hool not go doubting that Im main sorry for th oud gentlemans death just because I cant get at her and tell her so And says he Yoll not have much time for to try and see her my fine chap Shes not for staying with us a day longer nor she can help Shes got grand relations and theyre carrying her off and we shant see her no more Measter said I if I dunnot see her afore hoo goes Ill strive to get up to Lunnun next Whissuntide that I will Ill not be baulked of saying her goodbye by any relations whatsomdever But bless yo I knowed yod come It were only for to humour the measter I let on as if I thought yod mappen leave Milton without seeing me
Youre quite right said Margaret You only do me justice And youll not forget me Im sure If no one else in Milton remembers me Im certain you will and papa too You know how good and how tender he was Look Higgins here is his bible I have kept it for you I can ill spare it but I know he would have liked you to have it Im sure youll care for it and study what is in it for his sake
Yo may say that If it were the deuces own scribble and yo axed me to read in it for yor sake and th oud gentlemans Id do it Whattens this wench Im not going for to take yor brass so dunnot think it Weve been great friends bout the sound o money passing between us
For the children—for Bouchers children said Margaret hurriedly They may need it Youve no right to refuse it for them I would not give you a penny she said smiling dont think theres any of it for you
Well wench I can nobbut say Bless yo and bless yo—and amen
CHAPTER XLIV—EASE NOT PEACE
A dull rotation never at a stay
Yesterdays face twin image of today
COWPER
Of what each one should be he sees the form and rule
And till he reach to that his joy can neer be full
RUCKERT
It was very well for Margaret that the extreme quiet of the Harley Street house during Ediths recovery from her confinement gave her the natural rest which she needed It gave her time to comprehend the sudden change which had taken place in her circumstances within the last two months She found herself at once an inmate of a luxurious house where the bare knowledge of the existence of every trouble or care seemed scarcely to have penetrated The wheels of the machinery of daily life were well oiled and went along with delicious smoothness Mrs Shaw and Edith could hardly make enough of Margaret on her return to what they persisted in calling her home And she felt that it was almost ungrateful in her to have a secret feeling that the Helstone vicarage—nay even the poor little house at Milton with her anxious father and her invalid mother and all the small household cares of comparative poverty composed her idea of home Edith was impatient to get well in order to fill Margarets bedroom with all the soft comforts and pretty nickknacks with which her own abounded Mrs Shaw and her maid found plenty of occupation in restoring Margarets wardrobe to a state of elegant variety Captain Lennox was easy kind and gentlemanly sate with his wife in her dressingroom an hour or two every day played with his little boy for another hour and lounged away the rest of his time at his club when he was not engaged out to dinner Just before Margaret had recovered from her necessity for quiet and repose—before she had begun to feel her life wanting and dull—Edith came downstairs and resumed her usual part in the household and Margaret fell into the old habit of watching and admiring and ministering to her cousin She gladly took all charge of the semblances of duties off Ediths hands answered notes reminded her of engagements tended her when no gaiety was in prospect and she was consequently rather inclined to fancy herself ill But all the rest of the family were in the full business of the London season and Margaret was often left alone Then her thoughts went back to Milton with a strange sense of the contrast between the life there and here She was getting surfeited of the eventless ease in which no struggle or endeavour was required She was afraid lest she should even become sleepily deadened into forgetfulness of anything beyond the life which was lapping her round with luxury There might be toilers and moilers there in London but she never saw them the very servants lived in an underground world of their own of which she knew neither the hopes nor the fears they only seemed to start into existence when some want or whim of their master and mistress needed them There was a strange unsatisfied vacuum in Margarets heart and mode of life and once when she had dimly hinted this to Edith the latter wearied with dancing the night before languidly stroked Margarets cheek as she sat by her in the old attitude—she on a footstool by the sofa where Edith lay
Poor child said Edith It is a little sad for you to be left night after night just at this time when all the world is so gay But we shall be having our dinnerparties soon—as soon as Henry comes back from circuit—and then there will be a little pleasant variety for you No wonder it is moped poor darling
Margaret did not feel as if the dinnerparties would be a panacea But Edith piqued herself on her dinnerparties so different as she said from the old dowager dinners under mammas regime and Mrs Shaw herself seemed to take exactly the same kind of pleasure in the very different arrangements and circle of acquaintances which were to Captain and Mrs Lennoxs taste as she did in the more formal and ponderous entertainments which she herself used to give Captain Lennox was always extremely kind and brotherly to Margaret She was really very fond of him excepting when he was anxiously attentive to Ediths dress and appearance with a view to her beauty making a sufficient impression on the world Then all the latent Vashti in Margaret was roused and she could hardly keep herself from expressing her feelings
The course of Margarets day was this a quiet hour or two before a late breakfast an unpunctual meal lazily eaten by weary and halfawake people but yet at which in all its draggedout length she was expected to be present because directly afterwards came a discussion of plans at which although they none of them concerned her she was expected to give her sympathy if she could not assist with her advice an endless number of notes to write which Edith invariably left to her with many caressing compliments as to her eloquence du billet a little play with Sholto as he returned from his mornings walk besides the care of the children during the servants dinner a drive or callers and some dinner or morning engagement for her aunt and cousins which left Margaret free it is true but rather wearied with the inactivity of the day coming upon depressed spirits and delicate health
She looked forward with longing though unspoken interest to the homely object of Dixons return from Milton where until now the old servant had been busily engaged in winding up all the affairs of the Hale family It had appeared a sudden famine to her heart this entire cessation of any news respecting the people amongst whom she had lived so long It was true that Dixon in her businessletters quoted every now and then an opinion of Mr Thorntons as to what she had better do about the furniture or how act in regard to the landlord of the Crampton Terrace house But it was only here and there that the name came in or any Milton name indeed and Margaret was sitting one evening all alone in the Lennoxess drawingroom not reading Dixons letters which yet she held in her hand but thinking over them and recalling the days which had been and picturing the busy life out of which her own had been taken and never missed wondering if all went on in that whirl just as if she and her father had never been questioning within herself if no one in all the crowd missed her not Higgins she was not thinking of him when suddenly Mr Bell was announced and Margaret hurried the letters into her workbasket and started up blushing as if she had been doing some guilty thing
Oh Mr Bell I never thought of seeing you
But you give me a welcome I hope as well as that very pretty start of surprise
Have you dined How did you come Let me order you some dinner
If youre going to have any Otherwise you know there is no one who cares less for eating than I do But where are the others Gone out to dinner Left you alone
Oh yes and it is such a rest I was just thinking—But will you run the risk of dinner I dont know if there is anything in the house
Why to tell you the truth I dined at my club Only they dont cook as well as they did so I thought if you were going to dine I might try and make out my dinner But never mind never mind There arent ten cooks in England to be trusted at impromptu dinners If their skill and their fires will stand it their tempers wont You shall make me some tea Margaret And now what were you thinking of you were going to tell me Whose letters were those goddaughter that you hid away so speedily
Only Dixons replied Margaret growing very red
Whew is that all Who do you think came up in the train with me
I dont know said Margaret resolved against making a guess
Your what dye call him Whats the right name for a cousininlaws brother
Mr Henry Lennox asked Margaret
Yes replied Mr Bell You knew him formerly didnt you What sort of a person is he Margaret
I liked him long ago said Margaret glancing down for a moment And then she looked straight up and went on in her natural manner You know we have been corresponding about Frederick since but I have not seen him for nearly three years and he may be changed What did you think of him
I dont know He was so busy trying to find out who I was in the first instance, and what I was in the second that he never let out what he was unless indeed that veiled curiosity of his as to what manner of man he had to talk to was not a good piece and a fair indication of his character Do you call him good looking Margaret
No certainly not Do you
Not I But I thought perhaps you might Is he a great deal here
I fancy he is when he is in town He has been on circuit now since I came But—Mr Bell—have you come from Oxford or from Milton
From Milton Dont you see Im smokedried
Certainly But I thought that it might be the effect of the antiquities of Oxford
Come now be a sensible woman In Oxford I could have managed all the landlords in the place and had my own way with half the trouble your Milton landlord has given me and defeated me after all He wont take the house off our hands till next June twelvemonth Luckily Mr Thornton found a tenant for it Why dont you ask after Mr Thornton Margaret He has proved himself a very active friend of yours I can tell you Taken more than half the trouble off my hands
And how is he How is Mrs Thornton asked Margaret hurriedly and below her breath though she tried to speak out
I suppose theyre well Ive been staying at their house till I was driven out of it by the perpetual clack about that Thornton girls marriage It was too much for Thornton himself though she was his sister He used to go and sit in his own room perpetually Hes getting past the age for caring for such things either as principal or accessory I was surprised to find the old lady falling into the current and carried away by her daughters enthusiasm for orangeblossoms and lace I thought Mrs Thornton had been made of sterner stuff
She would put on any assumption of feeling to veil her daughters weakness said Margaret in a low voice
Perhaps so Youve studied her have you She doesnt seem over fond of you Margaret
I know it said Margaret Oh here is tea at last exclaimed she as if relieved And with tea came Mr Henry Lennox who had walked up to Harley Street after a late dinner and had evidently expected to find his brother and sisterinlaw at home Margaret suspected him of being as thankful as she was at the presence of a third party on this their first meeting since the memorable day of his offer and her refusal at Helstone She could hardly tell what to say at first and was thankful for all the teatable occupations which gave her an excuse for keeping silence and him an opportunity of recovering himself For to tell the truth he had rather forced himself up to Harley Street this evening with a view of getting over an awkward meeting awkward even in the presence of Captain Lennox and Edith and doubly awkward now that he found her the only lady there and the person to whom he must naturally and perforce address a great part of his conversation She was the first to recover her selfpossession She began to talk on the subject which came uppermost in her mind after the first flush of awkward shyness
Mr Lennox I have been so much obliged to you for all you have done about Frederick
I am only sorry it has been so unsuccessful replied he with a quick glance towards Mr Bell as if reconnoitring how much he might say before him Margaret as if she read his thought addressed herself to Mr Bell both including him in the conversation and implying that he was perfectly aware of the endeavours that had been made to clear Frederick
That Horrocks—that very last witness of all has proved as unavailing as all the others Mr Lennox has discovered that he sailed for Australia only last August only two months before Frederick was in England and gave us the names of——
Frederick in England you never told me that exclaimed Mr Bell in surprise
I thought you knew I never doubted you had been told Of course it was a great secret and perhaps I should not have named it now said Margaret a little dismayed
I have never named it to either my brother or your cousin said Mr Lennox with a little professional dryness of implied reproach
Never mind Margaret I am not living in a talking babbling world nor yet among people who are trying to worm facts out of me you neednt look so frightened because you have let the cat out of the bag to a faithful old hermit like me I shall never name his having been in England I shall be out of temptation for no one will ask me Stay interrupting himself rather abruptly was it at your mothers funeral
He was with mamma when she died said Margaret softly
To be sure To be sure Why some one asked me if he had not been over then and I denied it stoutly—not many weeks ago—who could it have been Oh I recollect
But he did not say the name and although Margaret would have given much to know if her suspicions were right and it had been Mr Thornton who had made the enquiry she could not ask the question of Mr Bell much as she longed to do so
There was a pause for a moment or two Then Mr Lennox said addressing himself to Margaret I suppose as Mr Bell is now acquainted with all the circumstances attending your brothers unfortunate dilemma I cannot do better than inform him exactly how the research into the evidence we once hoped to produce in his favour stands at present So if he will do me the honour to breakfast with me tomorrow we will go over the names of these missing gentry
I should like to hear all the particulars if I may Cannot you come here I dare not ask you both to breakfast though I am sure you would be welcome But let me know all I can about Frederick even though there may be no hope at present
I have an engagement at halfpast eleven But I will certainly come if you wish it replied Mr Lennox with a little afterthought of extreme willingness which made Margaret shrink into herself and almost wish that she had not proposed her natural request Mr Bell got up and looked around him for his hat which had been removed to make room for tea
Well said he I dont know what Mr Lennox is inclined to do but Im disposed to be moving off homewards Ive been a journey today and journeys begin to tell upon my sixty and odd years
I believe I shall stay and see my brother and sister said Mr Lennox making no movement of departure Margaret was seized with a shy awkward dread of being left alone with him The scene on the little terrace in the Helstone garden was so present to her that she could hardly help believing it was so with him
Dont go yet please Mr Bell said she hastily I want you to see Edith and I want Edith to know you Please said she laying a light but determined hand on his arm He looked at her and saw the confusion stirring in her countenance he sate down again as if her little touch had been possessed of resistless strength
You see how she overpowers me Mr Lennox said he And I hope you noticed the happy choice of her expressions she wants me to see this cousin Edith who I am told is a great beauty but she has the honesty to change her word when she comes to me—Mrs Lennox is to know me I suppose I am not much to see eh Margaret
He joked to give her time to recover from the slight flutter which he had detected in her manner on his proposal to leave and she caught the tone and threw the ball back Mr Lennox wondered how his brother the Captain could have reported her as having lost all her good looks To be sure in her quiet black dress she was a contrast to Edith dancing in her white crape mourning and long floating golden hair all softness and glitter She dimpled and blushed most becomingly when introduced to Mr Bell conscious that she had her reputation as a beauty to keep up and that it would not do to have a Mordecai refusing to worship and admire even in the shape of an old Fellow of a College which nobody had ever heard of Mrs Shaw and Captain Lennox each in their separate way gave Mr Bell a kind and sincere welcome winning him over to like them almost in spite of himself especially when he saw how naturally Margaret took her place as sister and daughter of the house
What a shame that we were not at home to receive you said Edith You too Henry though I dont know that we should have stayed at home for you And for Mr Bell for Margarets Mr Bell——
There is no knowing what sacrifices you would not have made said her brotherinlaw Even a dinnerparty and the delight of wearing this very becoming dress
Edith did not know whether to frown or to smile But it did not suit Mr Lennox to drive her to the first of these alternatives so he went on
Will you show your readiness to make sacrifices tomorrow morning first by asking me to breakfast to meet Mr Bell and secondly by being so kind as to order it at halfpast nine instead of ten oclock I have some letters and papers that I want to show to Miss Hale and Mr Bell
I hope Mr Bell will make our house his own during his stay in London said Captain Lennox I am only so sorry we cannot offer him a bedroom
Thank you I am much obliged to you You would only think me a churl if you had for I should decline it I believe in spite of all the temptations of such agreeable company said Mr Bell bowing all round and secretly congratulating himself on the neat turn he had given to his sentence which if put into plain language would have been more to this effect I couldnt stand the restraints of such a properbehaved and civilspoken set of people as these are it would be like meat without salt Im thankful they havent a bed And how well I rounded my sentence I am absolutely catching the trick of good manners
His selfsatisfaction lasted him till he was fairly out in the streets walking side by side with Henry Lennox Here he suddenly remembered Margarets little look of entreaty as she urged him to stay longer and he also recollected a few hints given him long ago by an acquaintance of Mr Lennoxs as to his admiration of Margaret It gave a new direction to his thoughts You have known Miss Hale for a long time I believe How do you think her looking She strikes me as pale and ill
I thought her looking remarkably well Perhaps not when I first came in—now I think of it But certainly when she grew animated she looked as well as ever I saw her do
She has had a great deal to go through said Mr Bell
Yes I have been sorry to hear of all she has had to bear not merely the common and universal sorrow arising from death but all the annoyance which her fathers conduct must have caused her and then——
Her fathers conduct said Mr Bell in an accent of surprise You must have heard some wrong statement He behaved in the most conscientious manner He showed more resolute strength than I should ever have given him credit for formerly
Perhaps I have been wrongly informed But I have been told by his successor in the living—a clever sensible man and a thoroughly active clergyman—that there was no call upon Mr Hale to do what he did relinquish the living and throw himself and his family on the tender mercies of private teaching in a manufacturing town the bishop had offered him another living it is true but if he had come to entertain certain doubts he could have remained where he was and so had no occasion to resign But the truth is these country clergymen live such isolated lives—isolated I mean from all intercourse with men of equal cultivation with themselves by whose minds they might regulate their own and discover when they were going either too fast or too slow—that they are very apt to disturb themselves with imaginary doubts as to the articles of faith and throw up certain opportunities of doing good for very uncertain fancies of their own
I differ from you I do not think they are very apt to do as my poor friend Hale did Mr Bell was inwardly chafing
Perhaps I used too general an expression in saying very apt But certainly their lives are such as very often to produce either inordinate selfsufficiency or a morbid state of conscience replied Mr Lennox with perfect coolness
You dont meet with any selfsufficiency among the lawyers for instance asked Mr Bell And seldom I imagine any cases of morbid conscience He was becoming more and more vexed and forgetting his latelycaught trick of good manners Mr Lennox saw now that he had annoyed his companion and as he had talked pretty much for the sake of saying something and so passing the time while their road lay together he was very indifferent as to the exact side he took upon the question and quietly came round by saying To be sure there is something fine in a man of Mr Hales age leaving his home of twenty years and giving up all settled habits for an idea which was probably erroneous—but that does not matter—an untangible thought One cannot help admiring him with a mixture of pity in ones admiration something like what one feels for Don Quixote Such a gentleman as he was too I shall never forget the refined and simple hospitality he showed to me that last day at Helstone
Only half mollified and yet anxious in order to lull certain qualms of his own conscience to believe that Mr Hales conduct had a tinge of Quixotism in it Mr Bell growled out—Aye And you dont know Milton Such a change from Helstone It is years since I have been at Helstone—but Ill answer for it it is standing there yet—every stick and every stone as it has done for the last century while Milton I go there every four or five years—and I was born there—yet I do assure you I often lose my way—aye among the very piles of warehouses that are built upon my fathers orchard Do we part here Well good night sir I suppose we shall meet in Harley Street tomorrow morning
CHAPTER XLV—NOT ALL A DREAM
Where are the sounds that swam along
The buoyant air when I was young
The last vibration now is oer
And they who listened are no more
Ah let me close my eyes and dream
W S LANDOR
The idea of Helstone had been suggested to Mr Bells waking mind by his conversation with Mr Lennox and all night long it ran riot through his dreams He was again the tutor in the college where he now held the rank of Fellow it was again a long vacation and he was staying with his newly married friend the proud husband and happy Vicar of Helstone Over babbling brooks they took impossible leaps which seemed to keep them whole days suspended in the air Time and space were not though all other things seemed real Every event was measured by the emotions of the mind not by its actual existence for existence it had none But the trees were gorgeous in their autumnal leafiness—the warm odours of flower and herb came sweet upon the sense—the young wife moved about her house with just that mixture of annoyance at her position as regarded wealth with pride in her handsome and devoted husband which Mr Bell had noticed in real life a quarter of a century ago The dream was so like life that when he awoke his present life seemed like a dream Where was he In the close handsomely furnished room of a London hotel Where were those who spoke to him moved around him touched him not an instant ago Dead buried lost for evermore as far as earths for evermore would extend He was an old man so lately exultant in the full strength of manhood The utter loneliness of his life was insupportable to think about He got up hastily and tried to forget what never more might be in a hurried dressing for the breakfast in Harley Street
He could not attend to all the lawyers details which as he saw made Margarets eyes dilate and her lips grow pale as one by one fate decreed or so it seemed every morsel of evidence which would exonerate Frederick should fall from beneath her feet and disappear Even Mr Lennoxs wellregulated professional voice took a softer tenderer tone as he drew near to the extinction of the last hope It was not that Margaret had not been perfectly aware of the result before It was only that the details of each successive disappointment came with such relentless minuteness to quench all hope that she at last fairly gave way to tears Mr Lennox stopped reading
I had better not go on said he in a concerned voice It was a foolish proposal of mine Lieutenant Hale and even this giving him the title of the service from which he had so harshly been expelled was soothing to Margaret Lieutenant Hale is happy now more secure in fortune and future prospects than he could ever have been in the navy and has doubtless adopted his wifes country as his own
That is it said Margaret It seems so selfish in me to regret it trying to smile and yet he is lost to me and I am so lonely Mr Lennox turned over his papers and wished that he were as rich and prosperous as he believed he should be some day Mr Bell blew his nose but otherwise he also kept silence and Margaret in a minute or two had apparently recovered her usual composure She thanked Mr Lennox very courteously for his trouble all the more courteously and graciously because she was conscious that by her behaviour he might have probably been led to imagine that he had given her needless pain Yet it was pain she would not have been without
Mr Bell came up to wish her goodbye
Margaret said he as he fumbled with his gloves I am going down to Helstone tomorrow to look at the old place Would you like to come with me Or would it give you too much pain Speak out dont be afraid
Oh Mr Bell said she—and could say no more But she took his old gouty hand and kissed it
Come come thats enough said he reddening with awkwardness I suppose your aunt Shaw will trust you with me Well go tomorrow morning and we shall get there about two oclock I fancy Well take a snack and order dinner at the little inn—the Lennard Arms it used to be—and go and get an appetite in the forest Can you stand it Margaret It will be a trial I know to both of us but it will be a pleasure to me at least And there well dine—it will be but doevenison if we can get it at all—and then Ill take my nap while you go out and see old friends Ill give you back safe and sound barring railway accidents and Ill insure your life for a thousand pounds before starting which may be some comfort to your relations but otherwise Ill bring you back to Mrs Shaw by lunchtime on Friday So if you say yes Ill just go upstairs and propose it
Its no use my trying to say how much I shall like it said Margaret through her tears
Well then prove your gratitude by keeping those fountains of yours dry for the next two days If you dont I shall feel queer myself about the lachrymal ducts and I dont like that
I wont cry a drop said Margaret winking her eyes to shake the tears off her eyelashes and forcing a smile
Theres my good girl Then well go upstairs and settle it all Margaret was in a state of almost trembling eagerness while Mr Bell discussed his plan with her aunt Shaw who was first startled then doubtful and perplexed and in the end yielding rather to the rough force of Mr Bells words than to her own conviction for to the last whether it was right or wrong proper or improper she could not settle to her own satisfaction till Margarets safe return the happy fulfilment of the project gave her decision enough to say she was sure it had been a very kind thought of Mr Bells and just what she herself had been wishing for Margaret as giving her the very change which she required after all the anxious time she had had
CHAPTER XLVI—ONCE AND NOW
So on those happy days of yore
Oft as I dare to dwell once more
Still must I miss the friends so tried
Whom Death has severed from my side
But ever when true friendship binds
Spirit it is that spirit finds
In spirit then our bliss we found
In spirit yet to them Im bound
UHLAND
Margaret was ready long before the appointed time and had leisure enough to cry a little quietly when unobserved and to smile brightly when any one looked at her Her last alarm was lest they should be too late and miss the train but no they were all in time and she breathed freely and happily at length seated in the carriage opposite to Mr Bell and whirling away past the wellknown stations seeing the old south countrytowns and hamlets sleeping in the warm light of the pure sun which gave a yet ruddier colour to their tiled roofs so different to the cold slates of the north Broods of pigeons hovered around these peaked quaint gables slowly settling here and there and ruffling their soft shiny feathers as if exposing every fibre to the delicious warmth There were few people about at the stations it almost seemed as if they were too lazily content to wish to travel none of the bustle and stir that Margaret had noticed in her two journeys on the London and NorthWestern line Later on in the year this line of railway should be stirring and alive with rich pleasureseekers but as to the constant going to and fro of busy tradespeople it would always be widely different from the northern lines Here a spectator or two stood lounging at nearly every station with his hands in his pockets so absorbed in the simple act of watching that it made the travellers wonder what he could find to do when the train whirled away and only the blank of a railway some sheds and a distant field or two were left for him to gaze upon The hot air danced over the golden stillness of the land farm after farm was left behind each reminding Margaret of German Idyls—of Herman and Dorothea—of Evangeline From this waking dream she was roused It was the place to leave the train and take the fly to Helstone And now sharper feelings came shooting through her heart whether pain or pleasure she could hardly tell Every mile was redolent of associations which she would not have missed for the world but each of which made her cry upon the days that are no more with ineffable longing The last time she had passed along this road was when she had left it with her father and mother—the day the season had been gloomy and she herself hopeless but they were there with her Now she was alone an orphan and they strangely had gone away from her and vanished from the face of the earth It hurt her to see the Helstone road so flooded in the sunlight and every turn and every familiar tree so precisely the same in its summer glory as it had been in former years Nature felt no change and was ever young
Mr Bell knew something of what would be passing through her mind and wisely and kindly held his tongue They drove up to the Lennard Arms half farmhouse halfinn standing a little apart from the road as much as to say that the host did not so depend on the custom of travellers as to have to court it by any obtrusiveness they rather must seek him out The house fronted the village green and right before it stood an immemorial limetree benched all round in some hidden recesses of whose leafy wealth hung the grim escutcheon of the Lennards The door of the inn stood wide open but there was no hospitable hurry to receive the travellers When the landlady did appear—and they might have abstracted many an article first—she gave them a kind welcome almost as if they had been invited guests and apologised for her coming having been so delayed by saying that it was haytime and the provisions for the men had to be sent afield and she had been too busy packing up the baskets to hear the noise of wheels over the road which since they had left the highway ran over soft short turf
Why bless me exclaimed she as at the end of her apology a glint of sunlight showed her Margarets face hitherto unobserved in that shady parlour Its Miss Hale Jenny said she running to the door and calling to her daughter Come here come directly its Miss Hale And then she went up to Margaret and shook her hands with motherly fondness
And how are you all Hows the Vicar and Miss Dixon The Vicar above all God bless him Weve never ceased to be sorry that he left
Margaret tried to speak and tell her of her fathers death of her mothers it was evident that Mrs Purkis was aware from her omission of her name But she choked in the effort and could only touch her deep mourning and say the one word Papa
Surely sir its never so said Mrs Purkis turning to Mr Bell for confirmation of the sad suspicion that now entered her mind There was a gentleman here in the spring—it might have been as long ago as last winter—who told us a deal of Mr Hale and Miss Margaret and he said Mrs Hale was gone poor lady But never a word of the Vicars being ailing
It is so however said Mr Bell He died quite suddenly when on a visit to me at Oxford He was a good man Mrs Purkis and theres many of us that might be thankful to have as calm an end as his Come Margaret my dear Her father was my oldest friend and shes my goddaughter so I thought we would just come down together and see the old place and I know of old you can give us comfortable rooms and a capital dinner You dont remember me I see but my name is Bell and once or twice when the parsonage has been full Ive slept here and tasted your good ale
To be sure I ask your pardon but you see I was taken up with Miss Hale Let me show you to a room Miss Margaret where you can take off your bonnet and wash your face Its only this very morning I plunged some freshgathered roses head downward in the waterjug for thought I perhaps some one will be coming and theres nothing so sweet as springwater scented by a musk rose or two To think of the Vicar being dead Well to be sure we must all die only that gentleman said he was quite picking up after his trouble about Mrs Hales death
Come down to me Mrs Purkis after you have attended to Miss Hale I want to have a consultation with you about dinner
The little casement window in Margarets bedchamber was almost filled up with rose and vine branches but pushing them aside and stretching a little out she could see the tops of the parsonage chimneys above the trees and distinguish many a wellknown line through the leaves
Aye said Mrs Purkis smoothing down the bed and despatching Jenny for an armful of lavenderscented towels times is changed miss our new Vicar has seven children and is building a nursery ready for more just out where the arbour and toolhouse used to be in old times And he has had new grates put in and a plateglass window in the drawingroom He and his wife are stirring people and have done a deal of good at least they say its doing good if it were not I should call it turning things upside down for very little purpose The new Vicar is a teetotaller miss and a magistrate and his wife has a deal of receipts for economical cooking and is for making bread without yeast and they both talk so much and both at a time that they knock one down as it were and its not till theyre gone and ones a little at peace that one can think that there were things one might have said on ones own side of the question Hell be after the mens cans in the hayfield and peeping in and then therell be an ado because its not ginger beer but I cant help it My mother and my grandmother before me sent good malt liquor to haymakers and took salts and senna when anything ailed them and I must een go on in their ways though Mrs Hepworth does want to give me comfits instead of medicine which as she says is a deal pleasanter only Ive no faith in it But I must go miss though Im wanting to hear many a thing Ill come back to you before long
Mr Bell had strawberries and cream a loaf of brown bread and a jug of milk together with a Stilton cheese and a bottle of port for his own private refreshment ready for Margaret on her coming downstairs and after this rustic luncheon they set out to walk hardly knowing in what direction to turn so many old familiar inducements were there in each
Shall we go past the vicarage asked Mr Bell
No not yet We will go this way and make a round so as to come back by it replied Margaret
Here and there old trees had been felled the autumn before or a squatters roughlybuilt and decaying cottage had disappeared Margaret missed them each and all and grieved over them like old friends They came past the spot where she and Mr Lennox had sketched The white lightningscarred trunk of the venerable beech among whose roots they had sate down was there no more the old man the inhabitant of the ruinous cottage was dead the cottage had been pulled down and a new one tidy and respectable had been built in its stead There was a small garden on the place where the beechtree had been
I did not think I had been so old said Margaret after a pause of silence and she turned away sighing
Yes said Mr Bell It is the first changes among familiar things that make such a mystery of time to the young afterwards we lose the sense of the mysterious I take changes in all I see as a matter of course The instability of all human things is familiar to me to you it is new and oppressive
Let us go on to see little Susan said Margaret drawing her companion up a grassy roadway leading under the shadow of a forest glade
With all my heart though I have not an idea who little Susan may be But I have a kindness for all Susans for simple Susans sake
My little Susan was disappointed when I left without wishing her goodbye and it has been on my conscience ever since that I gave her pain which a little more exertion on my part might have prevented But it is a long way Are you sure you will not be tired
Quite sure That is if you dont walk so fast You see here there are no views that can give one an excuse for stopping to take breath You would think it romantic to be walking with a person fat and scant o breath if I were Hamlet Prince of Denmark Have compassion on my infirmities for his sake
I will walk slower for your own sake I like you twenty times better than Hamlet
On the principle that a living ass is better than a dead lion
Perhaps so I dont analyse my feelings
I am content to take your liking me without examining too curiously into the materials it is made of Only we need not walk at a snails pace
Very well Walk at your own pace and I will follow Or stop still and meditate like the Hamlet you compare yourself to if I go too fast
Thank you But as my mother has not murdered my father and afterwards married my uncle I shouldnt know what to think about unless it were balancing the chances of our having a wellcooked dinner or not What do you think
I am in good hopes She used to be considered a famous cook as far as Helstone opinion went
But have you considered the distraction of mind produced by all this haymaking
Margaret felt all Mr Bells kindness in trying to make cheerful talk about nothing to endeavour to prevent her from thinking too curiously about the past But she would rather have gone over these dearloved walks in silence if indeed she were not ungrateful enough to wish that she might have been alone
They reached the cottage where Susans widowed mother lived Susan was not there She was gone to the parochial school Margaret was disappointed and the poor woman saw it and began to make a kind of apology
Oh it is quite right said Margaret I am very glad to hear it I might have thought of it Only she used to stop at home with you
Yes she did and I miss her sadly I used to teach her what little I knew at nights It were not much to be sure But she were getting such a handy girl that I miss her sore But shes a deal above me in learning now And the mother sighed
Im all wrong growled Mr Bell Dont mind what I say Im a hundred years behind the world But I should say that the child was getting a better and simpler and more natural education stopping at home and helping her mother and learning to read a chapter in the New Testament every night by her side than from all the schooling under the sun
Margaret did not want to encourage him to go on by replying to him and so prolonging the discussion before the mother So she turned to her and asked
How is old Betty Barnes
I dont know said the woman rather shortly Wese not friends
Why not asked Margaret who had formerly been the peacemaker of the village
She stole my cat
Did she know it was yours
I dont know I reckon not
Well could not you get it back again when you told her it was yours
No for shed burnt it
Burnt it exclaimed both Margaret and Mr Bell
Roasted it explained the woman
It was no explanation By dint of questioning Margaret extracted from her the horrible fact that Betty Barnes having been induced by a gypsy fortuneteller to lend the latter her husbands Sunday clothes on promise of having them faithfully returned on the Saturday night before Goodman Barnes should have missed them became alarmed by their nonappearance and her consequent dread of her husbands anger and as according to one of the savage country superstitions the cries of a cat in the agonies of being boiled or roasted alive compelled as it were the powers of darkness to fulfil the wishes of the executioner resort had been had to the charm The poor woman evidently believed in its efficacy her only feeling was indignation that her cat had been chosen out from all others for a sacrifice Margaret listened in horror and endeavoured in vain to enlighten the womans mind but she was obliged to give it up in despair Step by step she got the woman to admit certain facts of which the logical connexion and sequence was perfectly clear to Margaret but at the end the bewildered woman simply repeated her first assertion namely that it were very cruel for sure and she should not like to do it but that there were nothing like it for giving a person what they wished for she had heard it all her life but it were very cruel for all that Margaret gave it up in despair and walked away sick at heart
You are a good girl not to triumph over me said Mr Bell
How What do you mean
I own I am wrong about schooling Anything rather than have that child brought up in such practical paganism
Oh I remember Poor little Susan I must go and see her would you mind calling at the school
Not a bit I am curious to see something of the teaching she is to receive
They did not speak much more but thridded their way through many a bosky dell whose soft green influence could not charm away the shock and the pain in Margarets heart caused by the recital of such cruelty a recital too the manner of which betrayed such utter want of imagination and therefore of any sympathy with the suffering animal
The buzz of voices like the murmur of a hive of busy human bees made itself heard as soon as they emerged from the forest on the more open villagegreen on which the school was situated The door was wide open and they entered A brisk lady in black here there and everywhere perceived them and bade them welcome with somewhat of the hostessair which Margaret remembered her mother was wont to assume only in a more soft and languid manner when any rare visitors strayed in to inspect the school She knew at once it was the present Vicars wife her mothers successor and she would have drawn back from the interview had it been possible but in an instant she had conquered this feeling and modestly advanced meeting many a bright glance of recognition and hearing many a halfsuppressed murmur of Its Miss Hale The Vicars lady heard the name and her manner at once became more kindly Margaret wished she could have helped feeling that it also became more patronising The lady held out a hand to Mr Bell with—
Your father I presume Miss Hale I see it by the likeness I am sure I am very glad to see you sir and so will the Vicar be
Margaret explained that it was not her father and stammered out the fact of his death wondering all the time how Mr Hale could have borne coming to revisit Helstone if it had been as the Vicars lady supposed She did not hear what Mrs Hepworth was saying and left it to Mr Bell to reply looking round meanwhile for her old acquaintances
Ah I see you would like to take a class Miss Hale I know it by myself First class stand up for a parsing lesson with Miss Hale
Poor Margaret whose visit was sentimental not in any degree inspective felt herself taken in but as in some way bringing her in contact with little eager faces once wellknown and who had received the solemn rite of baptism from her father she sate down half losing herself in tracing out the changing features of the girls and holding Susans hand for a minute or two unobserved by all while the first class sought for their books and the Vicars lady went as near as a lady could towards holding Mr Bell by the button while she explained the Phonetic system to him and gave him a conversation she had had with the Inspector about it
Margaret bent over her book and seeing nothing but that—hearing the buzz of childrens voices old times rose up and she thought of them and her eyes filled with tears till all at once there was a pause—one of the girls was stumbling over the apparently simple word a uncertain what to call it
A an indefinite article said Margaret mildly
I beg your pardon said the Vicars wife all eyes and ears but we are taught by Mr Milsome to call a an—who can remember
An adjective absolute said halfadozen voices at once And Margaret sate abashed The children knew more than she did Mr Bell turned away and smiled
Margaret spoke no more during the lesson But after it was over she went quietly round to one or two old favourites and talked to them a little They were growing out of children into great girls passing out of her recollection in their rapid development as she by her three years absence was vanishing from theirs Still she was glad to have seen them all again though a tinge of sadness mixed itself with her pleasure When school was over for the day it was yet early in the summer afternoon and Mrs Hepworth proposed to Margaret that she and Mr Bell should accompany her to the parsonage and see the—the word improvements had half slipped out of her mouth but she substituted the more cautious term alterations which the present Vicar was making Margaret did not care a straw about seeing the alterations which jarred upon her fond recollection of what her home had been but she longed to see the old place once more even though she shivered away from the pain which she knew she should feel
The parsonage was so altered both inside and out that the real pain was less than she had anticipated It was not like the same place The garden the grassplat formerly so daintily trim that even a stray roseleaf seemed like a fleck on its exquisite arrangement and propriety was strewed with childrens things a bag of marbles here a hoop there a strawhat forced down upon a rosetree as on a peg to the destruction of a long beautiful tender branch laden with flowers which in former days would have been trained up tenderly as if beloved The little square matted hall was equally filled with signs of merry healthy rough childhood
Ah said Mrs Hepworth you must excuse this untidiness Miss Hale When the nursery is finished I shall insist upon a little order We are building a nursery out of your room I believe How did you manage Miss Hale without a nursery
We were but two said Margaret You have many children I presume
Seven Look here we are throwing out a window to the road on this side Mr Hepworth is spending an immense deal of money on this house but really it was scarcely habitable when we came—for so large a family as ours I mean of course Every room in the house was changed besides the one of which Mrs Hepworth spoke which had been Mr Hales study formerly and where the green gloom and delicious quiet of the place had conduced as he had said to a habit of meditation but perhaps in some degree to the formation of a character more fitted for thought than action The new window gave a view of the road and had many advantages as Mrs Hepworth pointed out From it the wandering sheep of her husbands flock might be seen who straggled to the tempting beerhouse unobserved as they might hope but not unobserved in reality for the active Vicar kept his eye on the road even during the composition of his most orthodox sermons and had a hat and stick hanging ready at hand to seize before sallying out after his parishioners who had need of quick legs if they could take refuge in the Jolly Forester before the teetotal Vicar had arrested them The whole family were quick brisk loudtalking kindhearted and not troubled with much delicacy of perception Margaret feared that Mrs Hepworth would find out that Mr Bell was playing upon her in the admiration he thought fit to express for everything that especially grated on his taste But no she took it all literally and with such good faith that Margaret could not help remonstrating with him as they walked slowly away from the parsonage back to their inn
Dont scold Margaret It was all because of you If she had not shown you every change with such evident exultation in their superior sense in perceiving what an improvement this and that would be I could have behaved well But if you must go on preaching keep it till after dinner when it will send me to sleep and help my digestion
They were both of them tired and Margaret herself so much so that she was unwilling to go out as she had proposed to do and have another ramble among the woods and fields so close to the home of her childhood And somehow this visit to Helstone had not been all—had not been exactly what she had expected There was change everywhere slight yet pervading all Households were changed by absence or death or marriage or the natural mutations brought by days and months and years which carry us on imperceptibly from childhood to youth and thence through manhood to age whence we drop like fruit fully ripe into the quiet mother earth Places were changed—a tree gone here a bough there bringing in a long ray of light where no light was before—a road was trimmed and narrowed and the green straggling pathway by its side enclosed and cultivated A great improvement it was called but Margaret sighed over the old picturesqueness the old gloom and the grassy wayside of former days She sate by the window on the little settle sadly gazing out upon the gathering shades of night which harmonised well with her pensive thought Mr Bell slept soundly after his unusual exercise through the day At last he was roused by the entrance of the teatray brought in by a flushedlooking countrygirl who had evidently been finding some variety from her usual occupation of waiter in assisting this day in the hayfield
Hallo Whos there Where are we Whos that—Margaret Oh now I remember all I could not imagine what woman was sitting there in such a doleful attitude with her hands clasped straight out upon her knees and her face looking so steadfastly before her What were you looking at asked Mr Bell coming to the window and standing behind Margaret
Nothing said she rising up quickly and speaking as cheerfully as she could at a moments notice
Nothing indeed A bleak background of trees some white linen hung out on the sweetbriar hedge and a great waft of damp air Shut the window and come in and make tea
Margaret was silent for some time She played with her teaspoon and did not attend particularly to what Mr Bell said He contradicted her and she took the same sort of smiling notice of his opinion as if he had agreed with her Then she sighed and putting down her spoon she began apropos of nothing at all and in the highpitched voice which usually shows that the speaker has been thinking for some time on the subject that they wish to introduce—Mr Bell you remember what we were saying about Frederick last night dont you
Last night Where was I Oh I remember Why it seems a week ago Yes to be sure I recollect we talked about him poor fellow
Yes—and do you not remember that Mr Lennox spoke about his having been in England about the time of dear mammas death asked Margaret her voice now lower than usual
I recollect I hadnt heard of it before
And I thought—I always thought that papa had told you about it
No he never did But what about it Margaret
I want to tell you of something I did that was very wrong about that time said Margaret suddenly looking up at him with her clear honest eyes I told a lie and her face became scarlet
True that was bad I own not but what I have told a pretty round number in my life not all in downright words as I suppose you did but in actions or in some shabby circumlocutory way leading people either to disbelieve the truth or believe a falsehood You know who is the father of lies Margaret Well a great number of folk thinking themselves very good have odd sorts of connexion with lies lefthand marriages and second cousinsonceremoved The tainting blood of falsehood runs through us all I should have guessed you as far from it as most people What crying child Nay now well not talk of it if it ends in this way I dare say you have been sorry for it and that you wont do it again and its long ago now and in short I want you to be very cheerful and not very sad this evening
Margaret wiped her eyes and tried to talk about something else but suddenly she burst out afresh
Please Mr Bell let me tell you about it—you could perhaps help me a little no not help me but if you knew the truth perhaps you could put me to rights—that is not it after all said she in despair at not being able to express herself more exactly as she wished
Mr Bells whole manner changed Tell me all about it child said he
Its a long story but when Fred came mamma was very ill and I was undone with anxiety and afraid too that I might have drawn him into danger and we had an alarm just after her death for Dixon met some one in Milton—a man called Leonards—who had known Fred and who seemed to owe him a grudge or at any rate to be tempted by the recollection of the reward offered for his apprehension and with this new fright I thought I had better hurry off Fred to London where as you would understand from what we said the other night he was to go to consult Mr Lennox as to his chances if he stood the trial So we—that is he and I—went to the railway station it was one evening and it was just getting rather dusk but still light enough to recognise and be recognised and we were too early and went out to walk in a field just close by I was always in a panic about this Leonards who was I knew somewhere in the neighbourhood and then when we were in the field the low red sunlight just in my face some one came by on horseback in the road just below the fieldstyle by which we stood I saw him look at me but I did not know who it was at first the sun was so in my eyes but in an instant the dazzle went off and I saw it was Mr Thornton and we bowed——
And he saw Frederick of course said Mr Bell helping her on with her story as he thought
Yes and then at the station a man came up—tipsy and reeling—and he tried to collar Fred and overbalanced himself as Fred wrenched himself away and fell over the edge of the platform not far not deep not above three feet but oh Mr Bell somehow that fall killed him
How awkward It was this Leonards I suppose And how did Fred get off
Oh he went off immediately after the fall which we never thought could have done the poor fellow any harm it seemed so slight an injury
Then he did not die directly
No not for two or three days And then—oh Mr Bell now comes the bad part said she nervously twining her fingers together A police inspector came and taxed me with having been the companion of the young man whose push or blow had occasioned Leonards death that was a false accusation you know but we had not heard that Fred had sailed he might still be in London and liable to be arrested on this false charge and his identity with the Lieutenant Hale accused of causing that mutiny discovered he might be shot all this flashed through my mind and I said it was not me I was not at the railway station that night I knew nothing about it I had no conscience or thought but to save Frederick
I say it was right I should have done the same You forgot yourself in thought for another I hope I should have done the same
No you would not It was wrong disobedient faithless At that very time Fred was safely out of England and in my blindness I forgot that there was another witness who could testify to my being there
Who
Mr Thornton You know he had seen me close to the station we had bowed to each other
Well he would know nothing of this riot about the drunken fellows death I suppose the inquiry never came to anything
No the proceedings they had begun to talk about on the inquest were stopped Mr Thornton did know all about it He was a magistrate and he found out that it was not the fall that had caused the death But not before he knew what I had said Oh Mr Bell She suddenly covered her face with her hands as if wishing to hide herself from the presence of the recollection
Did you have any explanation with him Did you ever tell him the strong instinctive motive
The instinctive want of faith and clutching at a sin to keep myself from sinking said she bitterly No How could I He knew nothing of Frederick To put myself to rights in his good opinion was I to tell him of the secrets of our family involving as they seemed to do the chances of poor Fredericks entire exculpation Freds last words had been to enjoin me to keep his visit a secret from all You see papa never told even you No I could bear the shame—I thought I could at least I did bear it Mr Thornton has never respected me since
He respects you I am sure said Mr Bell To be sure it accounts a little for—— But he always speaks of you with regard and esteem though now I understand certain reservations in his manner
Margaret did not speak did not attend to what Mr Bell went on to say lost all sense of it Byandby she said
Will you tell me what you refer to about reservations in his manner of speaking of me
Oh simply he has annoyed me by not joining in my praises of you Like an old fool I thought that every one would have the same opinions as I had and he evidently could not agree with me I was puzzled at the time But he must be perplexed if the affair has never been in the least explained There was first your walking out with a young man in the dark—
But it was my brother said Margaret surprised
True But how was he to know that
I dont know I never thought of anything of that kind said Margaret reddening and looking hurt and offended
And perhaps he never would but for the lie—which under the circumstances I maintain was necessary
It was not I know it now I bitterly repent it
There was a long pause of silence Margaret was the first to speak
I am not likely ever to see Mr Thornton again—and there she stopped
There are many things more unlikely I should say replied Mr Bell
But I believe I never shall Still somehow one does not like to have sunk so low in—in a friends opinion as I have done in his Her eyes were full of tears but her voice was steady and Mr Bell was not looking at her And now that Frederick has given up all hope and almost all wish of ever clearing himself and returning to England it would be only doing myself justice to have all this explained If you please and if you can if there is a good opportunity dont force an explanation upon him pray but if you can will you tell him the whole circumstances and tell him also that I gave you leave to do so because I felt that for papas sake I should not like to lose his respect though we may never be likely to meet again
Certainly I think he ought to know I do not like you to rest even under the shadow of an impropriety he would not know what to think of seeing you alone with a young man
As for that said Margaret rather haughtily I hold it is Honi soit qui mal y pense Yet still I should choose to have it explained if any natural opportunity for easy explanation occurs But it is not to clear myself of any suspicion of improper conduct that I wish to have him told—if I thought that he had suspected me I should not care for his good opinion—no it is that he may learn how I was tempted and how I fell into the snare why I told that falsehood in short
Which I dont blame you for It is no partiality of mine I assure you
What other people may think of the rightness or wrongness is nothing in comparison to my own deep knowledge my innate conviction that it was wrong But we will not talk of that any more if you please It is done—my sin is sinned I have now to put it behind me and be truthful for evermore if I can
Very well If you like to be uncomfortable and morbid be so I always keep my conscience as tight shut up as a jackinabox for when it jumps into existence it surprises me by its size So I coax it down again as the fisherman coaxed the genie Wonderful say I to think that you have been concealed so long and in so small a compass that I really did not know of your existence Pray sir instead of growing larger and larger every instant and bewildering me with your misty outlines would you once more compress yourself into your former dimensions And when Ive got him down dont I clap the seal on the vase and take good care how I open it again and how I go against Solomon wisest of men who confined him there
But it was no smiling matter to Margaret She hardly attended to what Mr Bell was saying Her thoughts ran upon the idea before entertained but which now had assumed the strength of a conviction that Mr Thornton no longer held his former good opinion of her—that he was disappointed in her She did not feel as if any explanation could ever reinstate her—not in his love for that and any return on her part she had resolved never to dwell upon and she kept rigidly to her resolution—but in the respect and high regard which she had hoped would have ever made him willing in the spirit of Gerald Griffins beautiful lines
To turn and look back when thou hearest
The sound of my name
She kept choking and swallowing all the time that she thought about it She tried to comfort herself with the idea that what he imagined her to be did not alter the fact of what she was But it was a truism a phantom and broke down under the weight of her regret She had twenty questions on the tip of her tongue to ask Mr Bell but not one of them did she utter Mr Bell thought that she was tired and sent her early to her room where she sate long hours by the open window gazing out on the purple dome above where the stars arose and twinkled and disappeared behind the great umbrageous trees before she went to bed All night long too there burnt a little light on earth a candle in her old bedroom which was the nursery with the present inhabitants of the parsonage until the new one was built A sense of change of individual nothingness of perplexity and disappointment overpowered Margaret Nothing had been the same and this slight allpervading instability had given her greater pain than if all had been too entirely changed for her to recognise it
I begin to understand now what heaven must be—and oh the grandeur and repose of the words—The same yesterday today and for ever Everlasting From everlasting to everlasting Thou art God That sky above me looks as though it could not change and yet it will I am so tired—so tired of being whirled on through all these phases of my life in which nothing abides by me no creature no place it is like the circle in which the victims of earthly passion eddy continually I am in the mood in which women of another religion take the veil I seek heavenly steadfastness in earthly monotony If I were a Roman Catholic and could deaden my heart stun it with some great blow I might become a nun But I should pine after my kind no not my kind for love for my species could never fill my heart to the utter exclusion of love for individuals Perhaps it ought to be so perhaps not I cannot decide tonight
Wearily she went to bed wearily she arose in four or five hours time But with the morning came hope and a brighter view of things
After all it is right said she hearing the voices of children at play while she was dressing If the world stood still it would retrograde and become corrupt if that is not Irish Looking out of myself and my own painful sense of change the progress all around me is right and necessary I must not think so much of how circumstances affect me myself but how they affect others if I wish to have a right judgment or a hopeful trustful heart And with a smile ready in her eyes to quiver down to her lips she went into the parlour and greeted Mr Bell
Ah Missy you were up late last night and so youre late this morning Now Ive got a little piece of news for you What do you think of an invitation to dinner a morning call literally in the dewy morning Why Ive had the Vicar here already on his way to the school How much the desire of giving our hostess a teetotal lecture for the benefit of the haymakers had to do with his earliness I dont know but here he was when I came down just before nine and we are asked to dine there today
But Edith expects me back—I cannot go said Margaret thankful to have so good an excuse
Yes I know so I told him I thought you would not want to go Still it is open if you would like it
Oh no said Margaret Let us keep to our plan Let us start at twelve It is very good and kind of them but indeed I could not go
Very well Dont fidget yourself and Ill arrange it all
Before they left Margaret stole round to the back of the Vicarage garden and gathered a little straggling piece of honeysuckle She would not take a flower the day before for fear of being observed and her motives and feelings commented upon But as she returned across the common the place was reinvested with the old enchanting atmosphere The common sounds of life were more musical there than anywhere else in the whole world the light more golden the life more tranquil and full of dreamy delight As Margaret remembered her feelings yesterday she said to herself
And I too change perpetually—now this now that—now disappointed and peevish because all is not exactly as I had pictured it and now suddenly discovering that the reality is far more beautiful than I had imagined it Oh Helstone I shall never love any place like you
A few days afterwards she had found her level and decided that she was very glad to have been there and that she had seen it again and that to her it would always be the prettiest spot in the world but that it was so full of associations with former days and especially with her father and mother that if it were all to come over again she should shrink back from such another visit as that which she had paid with Mr Bell
CHAPTER XLVII—SOMETHING WANTING
Experience like a pale musician holds
A dulcimer of patience in his hand
Whence harmonies we cannot understand
Of Gods will in His worlds the strain unfolds
In sad perplexed minors
MRS BROWNING
About this time Dixon returned from Milton and assumed her post as Margarets maid She brought endless pieces of Milton gossip How Martha had gone to live with Miss Thornton on the latters marriage with an account of the bridesmaids dresses and breakfasts at that interesting ceremony how people thought that Mr Thornton had made too grand a wedding of it considering he had lost a deal by the strike and had had to pay so much for the failure of his contracts how little money articles of furniture—long cherished by Dixon—had fetched at the sale which was a shame considering how rich folks were at Milton how Mrs Thornton had come one day and got two or three good bargains and Mr Thornton had come the next and in his desire to obtain one or two things had bid against himself much to the enjoyment of the bystanders so as Dixon observed that made things even if Mrs Thornton paid too little Mr Thornton paid too much Mr Bell had sent all sorts of orders about the books there was no understanding him he was so particular if he had come himself it would have been all right but letters always were and always will be more puzzling than they are worth Dixon had not much to tell about the Higginses Her memory had an aristocratic bias and was very treacherous whenever she tried to recall any circumstance connected with those below her in life Nicholas was very well she believed He had been several times at the house asking for news of Miss Margaret—the only person who ever did ask except once Mr Thornton And Mary oh of course she was very well a great stout slatternly thing She did hear or perhaps it was only a dream of hers though it would be strange if she had dreamt of such people as the Higginses that Mary had gone to work at Mr Thorntons mill because her father wished her to know how to cook but what nonsense that could mean she didnt know Margaret rather agreed with her that the story was incoherent enough to be like a dream Still it was pleasant to have some one now with whom she could talk of Milton and Milton people Dixon was not overfond of the subject rather wishing to leave that part of her life in shadow She liked much more to dwell upon speeches of Mr Bells which had suggested an idea to her of what was really his intention—making Margaret his heiress But her young lady gave her no encouragement nor in any way gratified her insinuating enquiries however disguised in the form of suspicions or assertions
All this time Margaret had a strange undefined longing to hear that Mr Bell had gone to pay one of his business visits to Milton for it had been well understood between them at the time of their conversation at Helstone that the explanation she had desired should only be given to Mr Thornton by word of mouth and even in that manner should be in nowise forced upon him Mr Bell was no great correspondent but he wrote from time to time long or short letters as the humour took him and although Margaret was not conscious of any definite hope on receiving them yet she always put away his notes with a little feeling of disappointment He was not going to Milton he said nothing about it at any rate Well she must be patient Sooner or later the mists would be cleared away Mr Bells letters were hardly like his usual self they were short and complaining with every now and then a little touch of bitterness that was unusual He did not look forward to the future he rather seemed to regret the past and be weary of the present Margaret fancied that he could not be well but in answer to some enquiry of hers as to his health he sent her a short note saying there was an oldfashioned complaint called the spleen that he was suffering from that and it was for her to decide if it was more mental or physical but that he should like to indulge himself in grumbling without being obliged to send a bulletin every time
In consequence of this note Margaret made no more enquiries about his health One day Edith let out accidentally a fragment of a conversation which she had had with Mr Bell when he was last in London which possessed Margaret with the idea that he had some notion of taking her to pay a visit to her brother and new sisterinlaw at Cadiz in the autumn She questioned and crossquestioned Edith till the latter was weary and declared that there was nothing more to remember all he had said was that he halfthought he should go and hear for himself what Frederick had to say about the mutiny and that it would be a good opportunity for Margaret to become acquainted with her new sisterinlaw that he always went somewhere during the long vacation and did not see why he should not go to Spain as well as anywhere else That was all Edith hoped Margaret did not want to leave them that she was so anxious about all this And then having nothing else particular to do she cried and said that she knew she cared much more for Margaret than Margaret did for her Margaret comforted her as well as she could but she could hardly explain to her how this idea of Spain mere château en Espagne as it might be charmed and delighted her Edith was in the mood to think that any pleasure enjoyed away from her was a tacit affront or at best a proof of indifference So Margaret had to keep her pleasure to herself and could only let it escape by the safetyvalve of asking Dixon when she dressed for dinner if she would not like to see Master Frederick and his new wife very much indeed
Shes a Papist Miss isnt she
I believe—oh yes certainly said Margaret a little damped for an instant at this recollection
And they live in a Popish country
Yes
Then Im afraid I must say that my soul is dearer to me than even Master Frederick his own dear self I should be in a perpetual terror Miss lest I should be converted
Oh said Margaret I do not know that I am going and if I go I am not such a fine lady as to be unable to travel without you No dear old Dixon you shall have a long holiday if we go But Im afraid it is a long if
Now Dixon did not like this speech In the first place she did not like Margarets trick of calling her dear old Dixon whenever she was particularly demonstrative She knew that Miss Hale was apt to call all people that she liked old as a sort of term of endearment but Dixon always winced away from the application of the word to herself who being not much past fifty was she thought in the very prime of life Secondly she did not like being so easily taken at her word she had with all her terror a lurking curiosity about Spain the Inquisition and Popish mysteries So after clearing her throat as if to show her willingness to do away with difficulties she asked Miss Hale whether she thought if she took care never to see a priest or enter into one of their churches there would be so very much danger of her being converted Master Frederick to be sure had gone over unaccountable
I fancy it was love that first predisposed him to conversion said Margaret sighing
Indeed Miss said Dixon well I can preserve myself from priests and from churches but love steals in unawares I think its as well I should not go
Margaret was afraid of letting her mind run too much upon this Spanish plan But it took off her thoughts from too impatiently dwelling upon her desire to have all explained to Mr Thornton Mr Bell appeared for the present to be stationary at Oxford and to have no immediate purpose of going to Milton and some secret restraint seemed to hang over Margaret and prevent her from even asking or alluding again to any probability of such a visit on his part Nor did she feel at liberty to name what Edith had told her of the idea he had entertained—it might be but for five minutes—of going to Spain He had never named it at Helstone during all that sunny day of leisure it was very probably but the fancy of a moment—but if it were true what a bright outlet it would be from the monotony of her present life which was beginning to fall upon her
One of the great pleasures of Margarets life at this time was in Ediths boy He was the pride and plaything of both father and mother as long as he was good but he had a strong will of his own and as soon as he burst out into one of his stormy passions Edith would throw herself back in despair and fatigue and sigh out Oh dear what shall I do with him Do Margaret please ring the bell for Hanley
But Margaret almost liked him better in these manifestations of character than in his good bluesashed moods She would carry him off into a room where they two alone battled it out she with a firm power which subdued him into peace while every sudden charm and wile she possessed was exerted on the side of right until he would rub his little hot and tearsmeared face all over hers kissing and caressing till he often fell asleep in her arms or on her shoulder Those were Margarets sweetest moments They gave her a taste of the feeling that she believed would be denied to her for ever
Mr Henry Lennox added a new and not disagreeable element to the course of the household life by his frequent presence Margaret thought him colder if more brilliant than formerly but there were strong intellectual tastes and much and varied knowledge which gave flavour to the otherwise rather insipid conversation Margaret saw glimpses in him of a slight contempt for his brother and sisterinlaw and for their mode of life which he seemed to consider as frivolous and purposeless He once or twice spoke to his brother in Margarets presence in a pretty sharp tone of enquiry as to whether he meant entirely to relinquish his profession and on Captain Lennoxs reply that he had quite enough to live upon she had seen Mr Lennoxs curl of the lip as he said And is that all you live for
But the brothers were much attached to each other in the way that any two persons are when the one is cleverer and always leads the other and this last is patiently content to be led Mr Lennox was pushing on in his profession cultivating with profound calculation all those connections that might eventually be of service to him keensighted farseeing intelligent sarcastic and proud Since the one long conversation relating to Fredericks affairs which she had with him the first evening in Mr Bells presence she had had no great intercourse with him further than that which arose out of their close relations with the same household But this was enough to wear off the shyness on her side and any symptoms of mortified pride and vanity on his They met continually of course but she thought that he rather avoided being alone with her she fancied that he as well as she perceived that they had drifted strangely apart from their former anchorage side by side in many of their opinions and all their tastes
And yet when he had spoken unusually well or with remarkable epigrammatic point she felt that his eye sought the expression of her countenance first of all if but for an instant and that in the family intercourse which constantly threw them together her opinion was the one to which he listened with a deference—the more complete because it was reluctantly paid and concealed as much as possible
CHAPTER XLVIII—NEER TO BE FOUND AGAIN
My own my fathers friend
I cannot part with thee
I neer have shown thou neer hast known
How dear thou art to me
ANON
The elements of the dinnerparties which Mrs Lennox gave were these her friends contributed the beauty Captain Lennox the easy knowledge of the subjects of the day and Mr Henry Lennox and the sprinkling of rising men who were received as his friends brought the wit the cleverness the keen and extensive knowledge of which they knew well enough how to avail themselves without seeming pedantic or burdening the rapid flow of conversation
These dinners were delightful but even here Margarets dissatisfaction found her out Every talent every feeling every acquirement nay even every tendency towards virtue was used up as materials for fireworks the hidden sacred fire exhausted itself in sparkle and crackle They talked about art in a merely sensuous way dwelling on outside effects instead of allowing themselves to learn what it has to teach They lashed themselves up into an enthusiasm about high subjects in company and never thought about them when they were alone they squandered their capabilities of appreciation into a mere flow of appropriate words One day after the gentlemen had come up into the drawingroom Mr Lennox drew near to Margaret and addressed her in almost the first voluntary words he had spoken to her since she had returned to live in Harley Street
You did not look pleased at what Shirley was saying at dinner
Didnt I My face must be very expressive replied Margaret
It always was It has not lost the trick of being eloquent
I did not like said Margaret hastily his way of advocating what he knew to be wrong—so glaringly wrong—even in jest
But it was very clever How every word told Do you remember the happy epithets
Yes
And despise them you would like to add Pray dont scruple though he is my friend
There that is the exact tone in you that— she stopped short
He listened for a moment to see if she would finish her sentence but she only reddened and turned away before she did so however she heard him say in a very low clear voice—
If my tones or modes of thought are what you dislike will you do me the justice to tell me so and so give me the chance of learning to please you
All these weeks there was no intelligence of Mr Bells going to Milton He had spoken of it at Helstone as of a journey which he might have to take in a very short time from then but he must have transacted his business by writing Margaret thought ere now and she knew that if he could he would avoid going to a place which he disliked and moreover would little understand the secret importance which she affixed to the explanation that could only be given by word of mouth She knew that he would feel that it was necessary that it should be done but whether in summer autumn or winter it would signify very little It was now August and there had been no mention of the Spanish journey to which he had alluded to Edith and Margaret tried to reconcile herself to the fading away of this illusion
But one morning she received a letter saying that next week he meant to come up to town he wanted to see her about a plan which he had in his head and moreover he intended to treat himself to a little doctoring as he had begun to come round to her opinion that it would be pleasanter to think that his health was more in fault than he when he found himself irritable and cross There was altogether a tone of forced cheerfulness in the letter as Margaret noticed afterwards but at the time her attention was taken up by Ediths exclamations
Coming up to town Oh dear and I am so worn out by the heat that I dont believe I have strength enough in me for another dinner Besides everybody has left but our dear stupid selves who cant settle where to go to There would be nobody to meet him
Im sure he would much rather come and dine with us quite alone than with the most agreeable strangers you could pick up Besides if he is not well he wont wish for invitations I am glad he has owned it at last I was sure he was ill from the whole tone of his letters and yet he would not answer me when I asked him and I had no third person to whom I could apply for news
Oh he is not very ill or he would not think of Spain
He never mentions Spain
No but his plan that is to be proposed evidently relates to that But would you really go in such weather as this
Oh it will get cooler every day Yes Think of it I am only afraid I have thought and wished too much—in that absorbing wilful way which is sure to be disappointed—or else gratified to the letter while in the spirit it gives no pleasure
But thats superstitious Im sure Margaret
No I dont think it is Only it ought to warn me and check me from giving way to such passionate wishes It is a sort of Give me children or else I die Im afraid my cry is Let me go to Cadiz or else I die
My dear Margaret Youll be persuaded to stay there and then what shall I do Oh I wish I could find somebody for you to marry here that I could be sure of you
I shall never marry
Nonsense and double nonsense Why as Sholto says youre such an attraction to the house that he knows ever so many men who will be glad to visit here next year for your sake
Margaret drew herself up haughtily Do you know Edith I sometimes think your Corfu life has taught you——
Well
Just a shade or two of coarseness
Edith began to sob so bitterly and to declare so vehemently that Margaret had lost all love for her and no longer looked upon her as a friend that Margaret came to think that she had expressed too harsh an opinion for the relief of her own wounded pride and ended by being Ediths slave for the rest of the day while that little lady overcome by wounded feeling lay like a victim on the sofa heaving occasionally a profound sigh till at last she fell asleep
Mr Bell did not make his appearance even on the day to which he had for a second time deferred his visit The next morning there came a letter from Wallis his servant stating that his master had not been feeling well for some time which had been the true reason of his putting off his journey and that at the very time when he should have set out for London he had been seized with an apoplectic fit it was indeed Wallis added the opinion of the medical men—that he could not survive the night and more than probable that by the time Miss Hale received this letter his poor master would be no more
Margaret received this letter at breakfasttime and turned very pale as she read it then silently putting it into Ediths hands she left the room
Edith was terribly shocked as she read it and cried in a sobbing frightened childish way much to her husbands distress Mrs Shaw was breakfasting in her own room and upon him devolved the task of reconciling his wife to the near contact into which she seemed to be brought with death for the first time that she could remember in her life Here was a man who was to have dined with them today lying dead or dying instead It was some time before she could think of Margaret Then she started up and followed her upstairs into her room Dixon was packing up a few toilette articles and Margaret was hastily putting on her bonnet shedding tears all the time and her hands trembling so that she could hardly tie the strings
Oh dear Margaret how shocking What are you doing Are you going out Sholto would telegraph or do anything you like
I am going to Oxford There is a train in halfanhour Dixon has offered to go with me but I could have gone by myself I must see him again Besides he may be better and want some care He has been like a father to me Dont stop me Edith
But I must Mamma wont like it at all Come and ask her about it Margaret You dont know where youre going I should not mind if he had a house of his own but in his Fellows rooms Come to mamma and do ask her before you go It will not take a minute
Margaret yielded and lost her train In the suddenness of the event Mrs Shaw became bewildered and hysterical and so the precious time slipped by But there was another train in a couple of hours and after various discussions on propriety and impropriety it was decided that Captain Lennox should accompany Margaret as the one thing to which she was constant was her resolution to go alone or otherwise by the next train whatever might be said of the propriety or impropriety of the step Her fathers friend her own friend was lying at the point of death and the thought of this came upon her with such vividness that she was surprised herself at the firmness with which she asserted something of her right to independence of action and five minutes before the time for starting she found herself sitting in a railwaycarriage opposite to Captain Lennox
It was always a comfort to her to think that she had gone though it was only to hear that he had died in the night She saw the rooms that he had occupied and associated them ever after most fondly in her memory with the idea of her father and his one cherished and faithful friend
They had promised Edith before starting that if all had ended as they feared they would return to dinner so that long lingering look around the room in which her father had died had to be interrupted and a quiet farewell taken of the kind old face that had so often come out with pleasant words and merry quips and cranks
Captain Lennox fell asleep on their journey home and Margaret could cry at leisure and bethink her of this fatal year and all the woes it had brought to her No sooner was she fully aware of one loss than another came—not to supersede her grief for the one before but to reopen wounds and feelings scarcely healed But at the sound of the tender voices of her aunt and Edith of merry little Sholtos glee at her arrival and at the sight of the welllighted rooms with their mistress pretty in her paleness and her eager sorrowful interest Margaret roused herself from her heavy trance of almost superstitious hopelessness and began to feel that even around her joy and gladness might gather She had Ediths place on the sofa Sholto was taught to carry aunt Margarets cup of tea very carefully to her and by the time she went up to dress she could thank God for having spared her dear old friend a long or a painful illness
But when night came—solemn night and all the house was quiet Margaret still sate watching the beauty of a London sky at such an hour on such a summer evening the faint pink reflection of earthly lights on the soft clouds that float tranquilly into the white moonlight out of the warm gloom which lies motionless around the horizon Margarets room had been the day nursery of her childhood just when it merged into girlhood and when the feelings and conscience had been first awakened into full activity On some such night as this she remembered promising to herself to live as brave and noble a life as any heroine she ever read or heard of in romance a life sans peur et sans reproche it had seemed to her then that she had only to will and such a life would be accomplished And now she had learnt that not only to will but also to pray was a necessary condition in the truly heroic Trusting to herself she had fallen It was a just consequence of her sin that all excuses for it all temptation to it should remain for ever unknown to the person in whose opinion it had sunk her lowest She stood face to face at last with her sin She knew it for what it was Mr Bells kindly sophistry that nearly all men were guilty of equivocal actions and that the motive ennobled the evil had never had much real weight with her Her own first thought of how if she had known all she might have fearlessly told the truth seemed low and poor Nay even now her anxiety to have her character for truth partially excused in Mr Thorntons eyes as Mr Bell had promised to do was a very small and petty consideration now that she was afresh taught by death what life should be If all the world spoke acted or kept silence with intent to deceive—if dearest interests were at stake and dearest lives in peril—if no one should ever know of her truth or her falsehood to measure out their honour or contempt for her by straight alone where she stood in the presence of God she prayed that she might have strength to speak and act the truth for evermore
CHAPTER XLIX—BREATHING TRANQUILLITY
And down the sunny beach she paces slowly
With many doubtful pauses by the way
Grief hath an influence so hushd and holy
HOOD
Is not Margaret the heiress whispered Edith to her husband as they were in their room alone at night after the sad journey to Oxford She had pulled his tall head down and stood upon tiptoe and implored him not to be shocked before she had ventured to ask this question Captain Lennox was however quite in the dark if he had ever heard he had forgotten it could not be much that a Fellow of a small college had to leave but he had never wanted her to pay for her board and two hundred and fifty pounds a year was something ridiculous considering that she did not take wine Edith came down upon her feet a little bit sadder with a romance blown to pieces
A week afterwards she came prancing towards her husband and made him a low curtsey
I am right and you are wrong most noble Captain Margaret has had a lawyers letter and she is residuary legatee—the legacies being about two thousand pounds and the remainder about forty thousand at the present value of property in Milton
Indeed and how does she take her good fortune
Oh it seems she knew she was to have it all along only she had no idea it was so much She looks very white and pale and says shes afraid of it but thats nonsense you know and will soon go off I left mamma pouring congratulations down her throat and stole away to tell you
It seemed to be supposed by general consent that the most natural thing was to consider Mr Lennox henceforward as Margarets legal adviser She was so entirely ignorant of all forms of business that in nearly everything she had to refer to him He chose out her attorney he came to her with papers to be signed He was never so happy as when teaching her of what all these mysteries of the law were the signs and types
Henry said Edith one day archly do you know what I hope and expect all these long conversations with Margaret will end in
No I dont said he reddening And I desire you not to tell me
Oh very well then I need not tell Sholto not to ask Mr Montagu so often to the house
Just as you choose said he with forced coolness What you are thinking of may or may not happen but this time before I commit myself I will see my ground clear Ask whom you choose It may not be very civil Edith but if you meddle in it you will mar it She has been very farouche with me for a long time and is only just beginning to thaw a little from her Zenobia ways She has the making of a Cleopatra in her if only she were a little more pagan
For my part said Edith a little maliciously I am very glad she is a Christian I know so very few
There was no Spain for Margaret that autumn although to the last she hoped that some fortunate occasion would call Frederick to Paris whither she could easily have met with a convoy Instead of Cadiz she had to content herself with Cromer To that place her aunt Shaw and the Lennoxes were bound They had all along wished her to accompany them and consequently with their characters they made but lazy efforts to forward her own separate wish Perhaps Cromer was in one sense of the expression the best for her She needed bodily strengthening and bracing as well as rest
Among other hopes that had vanished was the hope the trust she had had that Mr Bell would have given Mr Thornton the simple facts of the family circumstances which had preceded the unfortunate accident that led to Leonards death Whatever opinion—however changed it might be from what Mr Thornton had once entertained she had wished it to be based upon a true understanding of what she had done and why she had done it It would have been a pleasure to her would have given her rest on a point on which she should now all her life be restless unless she could resolve not to think upon it It was now so long after the time of these occurrences that there was no possible way of explaining them save the one which she had lost by Mr Bells death She must just submit like many another to be misunderstood but though reasoning herself into the belief that in this hers was no uncommon lot her heart did not ache the less with longing that some time—years and years hence—before he died at any rate he might know how much she had been tempted She thought that she did not want to hear that all was explained to him if only she could be sure that he would know But this wish was vain like so many others and when she had schooled herself into this conviction she turned with all her heart and strength to the life that lay immediately before her and resolved to strive and make the best of that
She used to sit long hours upon the beach gazing intently on the waves as they chafed with perpetual motion against the pebbly shore—or she looked out upon the more distant heave and sparkle against the sky and heard without being conscious of hearing the eternal psalm which went up continually She was soothed without knowing how or why Listlessly she sat there on the ground her hands clasped round her knees while her aunt Shaw did small shoppings and Edith and Captain Lennox rode far and wide on shore and inland The nurses sauntering on with their charges would pass and repass her and wonder in whispers what she could find to look at so long day after day And when the family gathered at dinnertime Margaret was so silent and absorbed that Edith voted her moped and hailed a proposal of her husbands with great satisfaction that Mr Henry Lennox should be asked to take Cromer for a week on his return from Scotland in October
But all this time for thought enabled Margaret to put events in their right places as to origin and significance both as regarded her past life and her future Those hours by the seaside were not lost as any one might have seen who had had the perception to read or the care to understand the look that Margarets face was gradually acquiring Mr Henry Lennox was excessively struck by the change
The sea has done Miss Hale an immense deal of good I should fancy said he when she first left the room after his arrival in their family circle She looks ten years younger than she did in Harley Street
Thats the bonnet I got her said Edith triumphantly I knew it would suit her the moment I saw it
I beg your pardon said Mr Lennox in the halfcontemptuous halfindulgent tone he generally used to Edith But I believe I know the difference between the charms of a dress and the charms of a woman No mere bonnet would have made Miss Hales eyes so lustrous and yet so soft or her lips so ripe and red—and her face altogether so full of peace and light—She is like and yet more—he dropped his voice—like the Margaret Hale of Helstone
From this time the clever and ambitious man bent all his powers to gaining Margaret He loved her sweet beauty He saw the latent sweep of her mind which could easily he thought be led to embrace all the objects on which he had set his heart He looked upon her fortune only as a part of the complete and superb character of herself and her position yet he was fully aware of the rise which it would immediately enable him the poor barrister to take Eventually he would earn such success and such honours as would enable him to pay her back with interest that first advance in wealth which he should owe to her He had been to Milton on business connected with her property on his return from Scotland and with the quick eye of a skilled lawyer ready ever to take in and weigh contingencies he had seen that much additional value was yearly accruing to the lands and tenements which she owned in that prosperous and increasing town He was glad to find that the present relationship between Margaret and himself of client and legal adviser was gradually superseding the recollection of that unlucky mismanaged day at Helstone He had thus unusual opportunities of intimate intercourse with her besides those that arose from the connection between the families
Margaret was only too willing to listen as long as he talked of Milton though he had seen none of the people whom she more especially knew It had been the tone with her aunt and cousin to speak of Milton with dislike and contempt just such feelings as Margaret was ashamed to remember she had expressed and felt on first going to live there But Mr Lennox almost exceeded Margaret in his appreciation of the character of Milton and its inhabitants Their energy their power their indomitable courage in struggling and fighting their lurid vividness of existence captivated and arrested his attention He was never tired of talking about them and had never perceived how selfish and material were too many of the ends they proposed to themselves as the result of all their mighty untiring endeavour till Margaret even in the midst of her gratification had the candour to point this out as the tainting sin in so much that was noble and to be admired Still when other subjects palled upon her and she gave but short answers to many questions Henry Lennox found out that an enquiry as to some Darkshire peculiarity of character called back the light into her eye the glow into her cheek
When they returned to town Margaret fulfilled one of her seaside resolves and took her life into her own hands Before they went to Cromer she had been as docile to her aunts laws as if she were still the scared little stranger who cried herself to sleep that first night in the Harley Street nursery But she had learnt in those solemn hours of thought that she herself must one day answer for her own life and what she had done with it and she tried to settle that most difficult problem for women how much was to be utterly merged in obedience to authority and how much might be set apart for freedom in working Mrs Shaw was as goodtempered as could be and Edith had inherited this charming domestic quality Margaret herself had probably the worst temper of the three for her quick perceptions and overlively imagination made her hasty and her early isolation from sympathy had made her proud but she had an indescribable childlike sweetness of heart which made her manners even in her rarely wilful moods irresistible of old and now chastened even by what the world called her good fortune she charmed her reluctant aunt into acquiescence with her will So Margaret gained the acknowledgment of her right to follow her own ideas of duty
Only dont be strongminded pleaded Edith Mamma wants you to have a footman of your own and Im sure youre very welcome for theyre great plagues Only to please me darling dont go and have a strong mind its the only thing I ask Footman or no footman dont be strongminded
Dont be afraid Edith Ill faint on your hands at the servants dinnertime the very first opportunity and then what with Sholto playing with the fire and the baby crying youll begin to wish for a strongminded woman equal to any emergency
And youll not grow too good to joke and be merry
Not I I shall be merrier than I have ever been now I have got my own way
And youll not go a figure but let me buy your dresses for you
Indeed I mean to buy them for myself You shall come with me if you like but no one can please me but myself
Oh I was afraid youd dress in brown and dustcolour not to show the dirt youll pick up in all those places Im glad youre going to keep one or two vanities just by way of specimens of the old Adam
Im going to be just the same Edith if you and my aunt could but fancy so Only as I have neither husband nor child to give me natural duties I must make myself some in addition to ordering my gowns
In the family conclave which was made up of Edith her mother and her husband it was decided that perhaps all these plans of hers would only secure her the more for Henry Lennox They kept her out of the way of other friends who might have eligible sons or brothers and it was also agreed that she never seemed to take much pleasure in the society of any one but Henry out of their own family The other admirers attracted by her appearance or the reputation of her fortune were swept away by her unconscious smiling disdain into the paths frequented by other beauties less fastidious or other heiresses with a larger amount of gold Henry and she grew slowly into closer intimacy but neither he nor she were people to brook the slightest notice of their proceedings
CHAPTER L—CHANGES AT MILTON
Here we go up up up
And here we go down down downee
NURSERY SONG
Meanwhile at Milton the chimneys smoked the ceaseless roar and mighty beat and dizzying whirl of machinery struggled and strove perpetually Senseless and purposeless were wood and iron and steam in their endless labours but the persistence of their monotonous work was rivalled in tireless endurance by the strong crowds who with sense and with purpose were busy and restless in seeking after—What In the streets there were few loiterers—none walking for mere pleasure every mans face was set in lines of eagerness or anxiety news was sought for with fierce avidity and men jostled each other aside in the Mart and in the Exchange as they did in life in the deep selfishness of competition There was gloom over the town Few came to buy and those who did were looked at suspiciously by the sellers for credit was insecure and the most stable might have their fortunes affected by the sweep in the great neighbouring port among the shipping houses Hitherto there had been no failures in Milton but from the immense speculations that had come to light in making a bad end in America and yet nearer home it was known that some Milton houses of business must suffer so severely that every day mens faces asked if their tongues did not What news Who is gone How will it affect me And if two or three spoke together they dwelt rather on the names of those who were safe than dared to hint at those likely in their opinion to go for idle breath may at such times cause the downfall of some who might otherwise weather the storm and one going down drags many after Thornton is safe say they His business is large—extending every year but such a head as he has and so prudent with all his daring Then one man draws another aside and walks a little apart and with head inclined into his neighbours ear he says Thorntons business is large but he has spent his profits in extending it he has no capital laid by his machinery is new within these two years and has cost him—we wont say what—a word to the wise But that Mr Harrison was a croaker—a man who had succeeded to his fathers trademade fortune which he had feared to lose by altering his mode of business to any having a larger scope yet he grudged every penny made by others more daring and farsighted
But the truth was Mr Thornton was hard pressed He felt it acutely in his vulnerable point—his pride in the commercial character which he had established for himself Architect of his own fortunes he attributed this to no special merit or qualities of his own but to the power which he believed that commerce gave to every brave honest and persevering man to raise himself to a level from which he might see and read the great game of worldly success and honestly by such farsightedness command more power and influence than in any other mode of life Far away in the East and in the West where his person would never be known his name was to be regarded and his wishes to be fulfilled and his word pass like gold That was the idea of merchantlife with which Mr Thornton had started Her merchants be like princes said his mother reading the text aloud as if it were a trumpetcall to invite her boy to the struggle He was but like many others—men women and children—alive to distant and dead to near things He sought to possess the influence of a name in foreign countries and faraway seas—to become the head of a firm that should be known for generations and it had taken him long silent years to come even to a glimmering of what he might be now today here in his own town his own factory among his own people He and they had led parallel lives—very close but never touching—till the accident or so it seemed of his acquaintance with Higgins Once brought face to face man to man with an individual of the masses around him and take notice out of the character of master and workman in the first instance, they had each begun to recognise that we have all of us one human heart It was the fine point of the wedge and until now when the apprehension of losing his connection with two or three of the workmen whom he had so lately begun to know as men—of having a plan or two which were experiments lying very close to his heart roughly nipped off without trial—gave a new poignancy to the subtle fear that came over him from time to time until now he had never recognised how much and how deep was the interest he had grown of late to feel in his position as manufacturer simply because it led him into such close contact and gave him the opportunity of so much power among a race of people strange shrewd ignorant but above all full of character and strong human feeling
He reviewed his position as a Milton manufacturer The strike a year and a half ago—or more for it was now untimely wintry weather in a late spring—that strike when he was young and he now was old—had prevented his completing some of the large orders he had then on hand He had locked up a good deal of his capital in new and expensive machinery and he had also bought cotton largely for the fulfilment of these orders taken under contract That he had not been able to complete them was owing in some degree to the utter want of skill on the part of the Irish hands whom he had imported much of their work was damaged and unfit to be sent forth by a house which prided itself on turning out nothing but firstrate articles For many months the embarrassment caused by the strike had been an obstacle in Mr Thorntons way and often when his eye fell on Higgins he could have spoken angrily to him without any present cause just from feeling how serious was the injury that had arisen from this affair in which he was implicated But when he became conscious of this sudden quick resentment he resolved to curb it It would not satisfy him to avoid Higgins he must convince himself that he was master over his own anger by being particularly careful to allow Higgins access to him whenever the strict rules of business or Mr Thorntons leisure permitted And byandbye he lost all sense of resentment in wonder how it was or could be that two men like himself and Higgins living by the same trade working in their different ways at the same object could look upon each others position and duties in so strangely different a way And thence arose that intercourse which though it might not have the effect of preventing all future clash of opinion and action when the occasion arose would at any rate enable both master and man to look upon each other with far more charity and sympathy and bear with each other more patiently and kindly Besides this improvement of feeling both Mr Thornton and his workmen found out their ignorance as to positive matters of fact known heretofore to one side but not to the other
But now had come one of those periods of bad trade when the market falling brought down the value of all large stocks Mr Thorntons fell to nearly half No orders were coming in so he lost the interest of the capital he had locked up in machinery indeed it was difficult to get payment for the orders completed yet there was the constant drain of expenses for working the business Then the bills became due for the cotton he had purchased and money being scarce he could only borrow at exorbitant interest and yet he could not realise any of his property But he did not despair he exerted himself day and night to foresee and to provide for all emergencies he was as calm and gentle to the women in his home as ever to the workmen in his mill he spoke not many words but they knew him by this time and many a curt decided answer was received by them rather with sympathy for the care they saw pressing upon him than with the suppressed antagonism which had formerly been smouldering and ready for hard words and hard judgments on all occasions Th measters a deal to potter him said Higgins one day as he heard Mr Thorntons short sharp inquiry why such a command had not been obeyed and caught the sound of the suppressed sigh which he heaved in going past the room where some of the men were working Higgins and another man stopped overhours that night unknown to any one to get the neglected piece of work done and Mr Thornton never knew but that the overlooker to whom he had given the command in the first instance, had done it himself
Eh I reckon I know whod ha been sorry for to see our measter sitting so like a piece o grey calico Th oud parson would ha fretted his womans heart out if hed seen the woeful looks I have seen on our measters face thought Higgins one day as he was approaching Mr Thornton in Marlborough Street
Measter said he stopping his employer in his quick resolved walk and causing that gentleman to look up with a sudden annoyed start as if his thoughts had been far away
Have yo heerd aught of Miss Marget lately
Miss—who replied Mr Thornton
Miss Marget—Miss Hale—th oud parsons daughter—yo known who I mean well enough if yoll only think a bit— there was nothing disrespectful in the tone in which this was said
Oh yes and suddenly the wintry frostbound look of care had left Mr Thorntons face as if some soft summer gale had blown all anxiety away from his mind and though his mouth was as much compressed as before his eyes smiled out benignly on his questioner
Shes my landlord now you know Higgins I hear of her through her agent here every now and then Shes well and among friends—thank you Higgins That thank you that lingered after the other words and yet came with so much warmth of feeling let in a new light to the acute Higgins It might be but a willothwisp but he thought he would follow it and ascertain whither it would lead him
And shes not getten married measter
Not yet The face was cloudy once more There is some talk of it as I understand with a connection of the family
Then shell not be for coming to Milton again I reckon
No
Stop a minute measter Then going up confidentially close he said Is th young gentleman cleared He enforced the depth of his intelligence by a wink of the eye which only made things more mysterious to Mr Thornton
Th young gentleman I mean—Master Frederick they caad him—her brother as was over here yo known
Over here
Ay to be sure at th missuss death Yo need na be feared of my telling for Mary and me we knowed it all along only we held our peace for we got it through Mary working in th house
And he was over It was her brother
Sure enough and I reckoned yo knowed it or Id never ha let on Yo knowed she had a brother
Yes I know all about him And he was over at Mrs Hales death
Nay Im not going for to tell more Ive maybe getten them into mischief already for they kept it very close I nobbut wanted to know if theyd getten him cleared
Not that I know of I know nothing I only hear of Miss Hale now as my landlord and through her lawyer
He broke off from Higgins to follow the business on which he had been bent when the latter first accosted him leaving Higgins baffled in his endeavour
It was her brother said Mr Thornton to himself I am glad I may never see her again but it is a comfort—a relief—to know that much I knew she could not be unmaidenly and yet I yearned for conviction Now I am glad
It was a little golden thread running through the dark web of his present fortunes which were growing ever gloomier and more gloomy His agent had largely trusted a house in the American trade which went down along with several others just at this time like a pack of cards the fall of one compelling other failures What were Mr Thorntons engagements Could he stand
Night after night he took books and papers into his own private room and sate up there long after the family were gone to bed He thought that no one knew of this occupation of the hours he should have spent in sleep One morning when daylight was stealing in through the crevices of his shutters and he had never been in bed and in hopeless indifference of mind was thinking that he could do without the hour or two of rest which was all that he should be able to take before the stir of daily labour began again the door of his room opened and his mother stood there dressed as she had been the day before She had never laid herself down to slumber any more than he Their eyes met Their faces were cold and rigid and wan from long watching
Mother why are not you in bed
Son John said she do you think I can sleep with an easy mind while you keep awake full of care You have not told me what your trouble is but sore trouble you have had these many days past
Trade is bad
And you dread—
I dread nothing replied he drawing up his head and holding it erect I know now that no man will suffer by me That was my anxiety
But how do you stand Shall you—will it be a failure her steady voice trembling in an unwonted manner
Not a failure I must give up business but I pay all men I might redeem myself—I am sorely tempted—
How Oh John keep up your name—try all risks for that How redeem it
By a speculation offered to me full of risk but if successful placing me high above watermark so that no one need ever know the strait I am in Still if it fails—
And if it fails said she advancing and laying her hand on his arm her eyes full of eager light She held her breath to hear the end of his speech
Honest men are ruined by a rogue said he gloomily As I stand now my creditors money is safe—every farthing of it but I dont know where to find my own—it may be all gone and I penniless at this moment Therefore it is my creditors money that I should risk
But if it succeeded they need never know Is it so desperate a speculation I am sure it is not or you would never have thought of it If it succeeded—
I should be a rich man and my peace of conscience would be gone
Why You would have injured no one
No but I should have run the risk of ruining many for my own paltry aggrandisement Mother I have decided You wont much grieve over our leaving this house shall you dear mother
No but to have you other than what you are will break my heart What can you do
Be always the same John Thornton in whatever circumstances endeavouring to do right and making great blunders and then trying to be brave in setting to afresh But it is hard mother I have so worked and planned I have discovered new powers in my situation too late—and now all is over I am too old to begin again with the same heart It is hard mother
He turned away from her and covered his face with his hands
I cant think said she with gloomy defiance in her tone how it comes about Here is my boy—good son just man tender heart—and he fails in all he sets his mind upon he finds a woman to love and she cares no more for his affection than if he had been any common man he labours and his labour comes to nought Other people prosper and grow rich and hold their paltry names high and dry above shame
Shame never touched me said he in a low tone but she went on
I sometimes have wondered where justice was gone to and now I dont believe there is such a thing in the world—now you are come to this you my own John Thornton though you and I may be beggars together—my own dear son
She fell upon his neck and kissed him through her tears
Mother said he holding her gently in his arms who has sent me my lot in life both of good and of evil
She shook her head She would have nothing to do with religion just then
Mother he went on seeing that she would not speak I too have been rebellious but I am striving to be so no longer Help me as you helped me when I was a child Then you said many good words—when my father died and we were sometimes sorely short of comforts—which we shall never be now you said brave noble trustful words then mother which I have never forgotten though they may have lain dormant Speak to me again in the old way mother Do not let us have to think that the world has too much hardened our hearts If you would say the old good words it would make me feel something of the pious simplicity of my childhood I say them to myself but they would come differently from you remembering all the cares and trials you have had to bear
I have had a many said she sobbing but none so sore as this To see you cast down from your rightful place I could say it for myself John but not for you Not for you God has seen fit to be very hard on you very
She shook with the sobs that come so convulsively when an old person weeps The silence around her struck her at last and she quieted herself to listen No sound She looked Her son sate by the table his arms thrown half across it his head bent face downwards
Oh John she said and she lifted his face up Such a strange pallid look of gloom was on it that for a moment it struck her that this look was the forerunner of death but as the rigidity melted out of the countenance and the natural colour returned and she saw that he was himself once again all worldly mortification sank to nothing before the consciousness of the great blessing that he himself by his simple existence was to her She thanked God for this and this alone with a fervour that swept away all rebellious feelings from her mind
He did not speak readily but he went and opened the shutters and let the ruddy light of dawn flood the room But the wind was in the east the weather was piercing cold as it had been for weeks there would be no demand for light summer goods this year That hope for the revival of trade must utterly be given up
It was a great comfort to have had this conversation with his mother and to feel sure that however they might henceforward keep silence on all these anxieties they yet understood each others feelings and were if not in harmony at least not in discord with each other in their way of viewing them Fannys husband was vexed at Thorntons refusal to take any share in the speculation which he had offered to him and withdrew from any possibility of being supposed able to assist him with the ready money which indeed the speculator needed for his own venture
There was nothing for it at last but that which Mr Thornton had dreaded for many weeks he had to give up the business in which he had been so long engaged with so much honour and success and look out for a subordinate situation Marlborough Mills and the adjacent dwelling were held under a long lease they must if possible be relet There was an immediate choice of situations offered to Mr Thornton Mr Hamper would have been only too glad to have secured him as a steady and experienced partner for his son whom he was setting up with a large capital in a neighbouring town but the young man was halfeducated as regarded information and wholly uneducated as regarded any other responsibility than that of getting money and brutalised both as to his pleasures and his pains Mr Thornton declined having any share in a partnership which would frustrate what few plans he had that survived the wreck of his fortunes He would sooner consent to be only a manager where he could have a certain degree of power beyond the mere moneygetting part than have to fall in with the tyrannical humours of a moneyed partner with whom he felt sure that he should quarrel in a few months
So he waited and stood on one side with profound humility as the news swept through the Exchange of the enormous fortune which his brotherinlaw had made by his daring speculation It was a nine days wonder Success brought with it its worldly consequence of extreme admiration No one was considered so wise and farseeing as Mr Watson
CHAPTER LI—MEETING AGAIN
Bear up brave heart we will be calm and strong
Sure we can master eyes or cheek or tongue
Nor let the smallest telltale sign appear
She ever was and is and will be dear
RHYMING PLAY
It was a hot summers evening Edith came into Margarets bedroom the first time in her habit the second ready dressed for dinner No one was there at first the next time Edith found Dixon laying out Margarets dress on the bed but no Margaret Edith remained to fidget about
Oh Dixon not those horrid blue flowers to that dead goldcoloured gown What taste Wait a minute and I will bring you some pomegranate blossoms
Its not a dead goldcolour maam Its a strawcolour And blue always goes with strawcolour But Edith had brought the brilliant scarlet flowers before Dixon had got half through her remonstrance
Where is Miss Hale asked Edith as soon as she had tried the effect of the garniture I cant think she went on pettishly how my aunt allowed her to get into such rambling habits in Milton Im sure Im always expecting to hear of her having met with something horrible among all those wretched places she pokes herself into I should never dare to go down some of those streets without a servant Theyre not fit for ladies
Dixon was still huffed about her despised taste so she replied rather shortly
Its no wonder to my mind when I hear ladies talk such a deal about being ladies—and when theyre such fearful delicate dainty ladies too—I say its no wonder to me that there are no longer any saints on earth——
Oh Margaret here you are I have been so wanting you But how your cheeks are flushed with the heat poor child But only think what that tiresome Henry has done really he exceeds brotherinlaws limits Just when my party was made up so beautifully—fitted in so precisely for Mr Colthurst—there has Henry come with an apology it is true and making use of your name for an excuse and asked me if he may bring that Mr Thornton of Milton—your tenant you know—who is in London about some law business It will spoil my number quite
I dont mind dinner I dont want any said Margaret in a low voice Dixon can get me a cup of tea here and I will be in the drawingroom by the time you come up I shall really be glad to lie down
No no that will never do You do look wretchedly white to be sure but that is just the heat and we cant do without you possibly Those flowers a little lower Dixon They look glorious flames Margaret in your black hair You know we planned you to talk about Milton to Mr Colthurst Oh to be sure and this man comes from Milton I believe it will be capital after all Mr Colthurst can pump him well on all the subjects in which he is interested and it will be great fun to trace out your experiences and this Mr Thorntons wisdom in Mr Colthursts next speech in the House Really I think it is a happy hit of Henrys I asked him if he was a man one would be ashamed of and he replied Not if youve any sense in you my little sister So I suppose he is able to sound his hs which is not a common Darkshire accomplishment—eh Margaret
Mr Lennox did not say why Mr Thornton was come up to town Was it law business connected with the property asked Margaret in a constrained voice
Oh hes failed or something of the kind that Henry told you of that day you had such a headache—what was it There thats capital Dixon Miss Hale does us credit does she not I wish I was as tall as a queen and as brown as a gipsy Margaret
But about Mr Thornton
Oh I really have such a terrible head for law business Henry will like nothing better than to tell you all about it I know the impression he made upon me was that Mr Thornton is very badly off and a very respectable man and that Im to be very civil to him and as I did not know how I came to you to ask you to help me And now come down with me and rest on the sofa for a quarter of an hour
The privileged brotherinlaw came early and Margaret reddening as she spoke began to ask him the questions she wanted to hear answered about Mr Thornton
He came up about this subletting the property—Marlborough Mills and the house and premises adjoining I mean He is unable to keep it on and there are deeds and leases to be looked over and agreements to be drawn up I hope Edith will receive him properly but she was rather put out as I could see by the liberty I had taken in begging for an invitation for him But I thought you would like to have some attention shown him and one would be particularly scrupulous in paying every respect to a man who is going down in the world He had dropped his voice to speak to Margaret by whom he was sitting but as he ended he sprang up and introduced Mr Thornton who had that moment entered to Edith and Captain Lennox
Margaret looked with an anxious eye at Mr Thornton while he was thus occupied It was considerably more than a year since she had seen him and events had occurred to change him much in that time His fine figure yet bore him above the common height of men and gave him a distinguished appearance from the ease of motion which arose out of it and was natural to him but his face looked older and careworn yet a noble composure sate upon it which impressed those who had just been hearing of his changed position with a sense of inherent dignity and manly strength He was aware from the first glance he had given round the room that Margaret was there he had seen her intent look of occupation as she listened to Mr Henry Lennox and he came up to her with the perfectly regulated manner of an old friend With his first calm words a vivid colour flashed into her cheeks which never left them again during the evening She did not seem to have much to say to him She disappointed him by the quiet way in which she asked what seemed to him to be the merely necessary questions respecting her old acquaintances in Milton but others came in—more intimate in the house than he—and he fell into the background where he and Mr Lennox talked together from time to time
You think Miss Hale looking well said Mr Lennox dont you Milton didnt agree with her I imagine for when she first came to London I thought I had never seen any one so much changed Tonight she is looking radiant But she is much stronger Last autumn she was fatigued with a walk of a couple of miles On Friday evening we walked up to Hampstead and back Yet on Saturday she looked as well as she does now
We Who They two alone
Mr Colthurst was a very clever man and a rising member of parliament He had a quick eye at discerning character and was struck by a remark which Mr Thornton made at dinnertime He enquired from Edith who that gentleman was and rather to her surprise she found from the tone of his Indeed that Mr Thornton of Milton was not such an unknown name to him as she had imagined it would be Her dinner was going off well Henry was in good humour and brought out his dry caustic wit admirably Mr Thornton and Mr Colthurst found one or two mutual subjects of interest which they could only touch upon then reserving them for more private afterdinner talk Margaret looked beautiful in the pomegranate flowers and if she did lean back in her chair and speak but little Edith was not annoyed for the conversation flowed on smoothly without her Margaret was watching Mr Thorntons face He never looked at her so she might study him unobserved and note the changes which even this short time had wrought in him Only at some unexpected mot of Mr Lennoxs his face flashed out into the old look of intense enjoyment the merry brightness returned to his eyes the lips just parted to suggest the brilliant smile of former days and for an instant his glance instinctively sought hers as if he wanted her sympathy But when their eyes met his whole countenance changed he was grave and anxious once more and he resolutely avoided even looking near her again during dinner
There were only two ladies besides their own party and as these were occupied in conversation by her aunt and Edith when they went up into the drawingroom Margaret languidly employed herself about some work Presently the gentlemen came up Mr Colthurst and Mr Thornton in close conversation Mr Lennox drew near to Margaret and said in a low voice
I really think Edith owes me thanks for my contribution to her party Youve no idea what an agreeable sensible fellow this tenant of yours is He has been the very man to give Colthurst all the facts he wanted coaching in I cant conceive how he contrived to mismanage his affairs
With his powers and opportunities you would have succeeded said Margaret He did not quite relish the tone in which she spoke although the words but expressed a thought which had passed through his own mind As he was silent they caught a swell in the sound of conversation going on near the fireplace between Mr Colthurst and Mr Thornton
I assure you I heard it spoken of with great interest—curiosity as to its result perhaps I should rather say I heard your name frequently mentioned during my short stay in the neighbourhood Then they lost some words and when next they could hear Mr Thornton was speaking
I have not the elements for popularity—if they spoke of me in that way they were mistaken I fall slowly into new projects and I find it difficult to let myself be known even by those whom I desire to know and with whom I would fain have no reserve Yet even with all these drawbacks I felt that I was on the right path and that starting from a kind of friendship with one I was becoming acquainted with many The advantages were mutual we were both unconsciously and consciously teaching each other
You say were I trust you are intending to pursue the same course
I must stop Colthurst said Henry Lennox hastily And by an abrupt yet apropos question he turned the current of the conversation so as not to give Mr Thornton the mortification of acknowledging his want of success and consequent change of position But as soon as the newlystarted subject had come to a close Mr Thornton resumed the conversation just where it had been interrupted and gave Mr Colthurst the reply to his inquiry
I have been unsuccessful in business and have had to give up my position as a master I am on the look out for a situation in Milton where I may meet with employment under some one who will be willing to let me go along my own way in such matters as these I can depend upon myself for having no goahead theories that I would rashly bring into practice My only wish is to have the opportunity of cultivating some intercourse with the hands beyond the mere cash nexus But it might be the point Archimedes sought from which to move the earth to judge from the importance attached to it by some of our manufacturers who shake their heads and look grave as soon as I name the one or two experiments that I should like to try
You call them experiments I notice said Mr Colthurst with a delicate increase of respect in his manner
Because I believe them to be such I am not sure of the consequences that may result from them But I am sure they ought to be tried I have arrived at the conviction that no mere institutions however wise and however much thought may have been required to organise and arrange them can attach class to class as they should be attached unless the working out of such institutions bring the individuals of the different classes into actual personal contact Such intercourse is the very breath of life A working man can hardly be made to feel and know how much his employer may have laboured in his study at plans for the benefit of his workpeople A complete plan emerges like a piece of machinery apparently fitted for every emergency But the hands accept it as they do machinery without understanding the intense mental labour and forethought required to bring it to such perfection But I would take an idea the working out of which would necessitate personal intercourse it might not go well at first but at every hitch interest would be felt by an increasing number of men and at last its success in working come to be desired by all as all had borne a part in the formation of the plan and even then I am sure that it would lose its vitality cease to be living as soon as it was no longer carried on by that sort of common interest which invariably makes people find means and ways of seeing each other and becoming acquainted with each others characters and persons and even tricks of temper and modes of speech We should understand each other better and Ill venture to say we should like each other more
And you think they may prevent the recurrence of strikes
Not at all My utmost expectation only goes so far as this—that they may render strikes not the bitter venomous sources of hatred they have hitherto been A more hopeful man might imagine that a closer and more genial intercourse between classes might do away with strikes But I am not a hopeful man
Suddenly as if a new idea had struck him he crossed over to where Margaret was sitting and began without preface as if he knew she had been listening to all that had passed
Miss Hale I had a roundrobin from some of my men—I suspect in Higgins handwriting—stating their wish to work for me if ever I was in a position to employ men again on my own behalf That was good wasnt it
Yes Just right I am glad of it said Margaret looking up straight into his face with her speaking eyes and then dropping them under his eloquent glance He gazed back at her for a minute as if he did not know exactly what he was about Then sighed and saying I knew you would like it he turned away and never spoke to her again until he bid her a formal good night
As Mr Lennox took his departure Margaret said with a blush that she could not repress and with some hesitation
Can I speak to you tomorrow I want your help about—something
Certainly I will come at whatever time you name You cannot give me a greater pleasure than by making me of any use At eleven Very well
His eye brightened with exultation How she was learning to depend upon him It seemed as if any day now might give him the certainty without having which he had determined never to offer to her again
CHAPTER LII—PACK CLOUDS AWAY
For joy or grief for hope or fear
For all hereafter as for here
In peace or strife in storm or shine
ANON
Edith went about on tiptoe and checked Sholto in all loud speaking that next morning as if any sudden noise would interrupt the conference that was taking place in the drawingroom Two oclock came and they still sate there with closed doors Then there was a mans footstep running downstairs and Edith peeped out of the drawingroom
Well Henry said she with a look of interrogation
Well said he rather shortly
Come in to lunch
No thank you I cant Ive lost too much time here already
Then its not all settled said Edith despondingly
No not at all It never will be settled if the it is what I conjecture you mean That will never be Edith so give up thinking about it
But it would be so nice for us all pleaded Edith I should always feel comfortable about the children if I had Margaret settled down near me As it is I am always afraid of her going off to Cadiz
I will try when I marry to look out for a young lady who has a knowledge of the management of children That is all I can do Miss Hale would not have me And I shall not ask her
Then what have you been talking about
A thousand things you would not understand investments and leases and value of land
Oh go away if thats all You and she will be unbearably stupid if youve been talking all this time about such weary things
Very well Im coming again tomorrow and bringing Mr Thornton with me to have some more talk with Miss Hale
Mr Thornton What has he to do with it
He is Miss Hales tenant said Mr Lennox turning away And he wishes to give up his lease
Oh very well I cant understand details so dont give them me
The only detail I want you to understand is to let us have the back drawingroom undisturbed as it was today In general the children and servants are so in and out that I can never get any business satisfactorily explained and the arrangements we have to make tomorrow are of importance
No one ever knew why Mr Lennox did not keep to his appointment on the following day Mr Thornton came true to his time and after keeping him waiting for nearly an hour Margaret came in looking very white and anxious
She began hurriedly
I am so sorry Mr Lennox is not here—he could have done it so much better than I can He is my adviser in this——
I am sorry that I came if it troubles you Shall I go to Mr Lennoxs chambers and try and find him
No thank you I wanted to tell you how grieved I was to find that I am to lose you as a tenant But Mr Lennox says things are sure to brighten——
Mr Lennox knows little about it said Mr Thornton quietly Happy and fortunate in all a man cares for he does not understand what it is to find oneself no longer young—yet thrown back to the startingpoint which requires the hopeful energy of youth—to feel one half of life gone and nothing done—nothing remaining of wasted opportunity but the bitter recollection that it has been Miss Hale I would rather not hear Mr Lennoxs opinion of my affairs Those who are happy and successful themselves are too apt to make light of the misfortunes of others
You are unjust said Margaret gently Mr Lennox has only spoken of the great probability which he believes there to be of your redeeming—your more than redeeming what you have lost—dont speak till I have ended—pray dont And collecting herself once more she went on rapidly turning over some law papers and statements of accounts in a trembling hurried manner Oh here it is and—he drew me out a proposal—I wish he was here to explain it—showing that if you would take some money of mine eighteen thousand and fiftyseven pounds lying just at this moment unused in the bank and bringing me in only two and a half per cent—you could pay me much better interest and might go on working Marlborough Mills Her voice had cleared itself and become more steady Mr Thornton did not speak and she went on looking for some paper on which were written down the proposals for security for she was most anxious to have it all looked upon in the light of a mere business arrangement in which the principal advantage would be on her side While she sought for this paper her very heartpulse was arrested by the tone in which Mr Thornton spoke His voice was hoarse and trembling with tender passion as he said—
Margaret
For an instant she looked up and then sought to veil her luminous eyes by dropping her forehead on her hands Again stepping nearer he besought her with another tremulous eager call upon her name
Margaret
Still lower went the head more closely hidden was the face almost resting on the table before her He came close to her He knelt by her side to bring his face to a level with her ear and whisperedpanted out the words—
Take care—If you do not speak—I shall claim you as my own in some strange presumptuous way—Send me away at once if I must go—Margaret—
At that third call she turned her face still covered with her small white hands towards him and laid it on his shoulder hiding it even there and it was too delicious to feel her soft cheek against his for him to wish to see either deep blushes or loving eyes He clasped her close But they both kept silence At length she murmured in a broken voice
Oh Mr Thornton I am not good enough
Not good enough Dont mock my own deep feeling of unworthiness
After a minute or two he gently disengaged her hands from her face and laid her arms as they had once before been placed to protect him from the rioters
Do you remember love he murmured And how I requited you with my insolence the next day
I remember how wrongly I spoke to you—that is all
Look here Lift up your head I have something to show you She slowly faced him glowing with beautiful shame
Do you know these roses he said drawing out his pocketbook in which were treasured up some dead flowers
No she replied with innocent curiosity Did I give them to you
No Vanity you did not You may have worn sister roses very probably
She looked at them wondering for a minute then she smiled a little as she said—
They are from Helstone are they not I know the deep indentations round the leaves Oh have you been there When were you there
I wanted to see the place where Margaret grew to what she is even at the worst time of all when I had no hope of ever calling her mine I went there on my return from Havre
You must give them to me she said trying to take them out of his hand with gentle violence
Very well Only you must pay me for them
How shall I ever tell Aunt Shaw she whispered after some time of delicious silence
Let me speak to her
Oh no I owe to her—but what will she say
I can guess Her first exclamation will be That man
Hush said Margaret or I shall try and show you your mothers indignant tones as she says That woman