CHAPTER I
ANTHONY PATCH
In 1913 when Anthony Patch was twentyfive two years were already gone since irony the Holy Ghost of this later day had theoretically at least descended upon him Irony was the final polish of the shoe the ultimate dab of the clothesbrush a sort of intellectual There—yet at the brink of this story he has as yet gone no further than the conscious stage As you first see him he wonders frequently whether he is not without honor and slightly mad a shameful and obscene thinness glistening on the surface of the world like oil on a clean pond these occasions being varied of course with those in which he thinks himself rather an exceptional young man thoroughly sophisticated well adjusted to his environment and somewhat more significant than any one else he knows
This was his healthy state and it made him cheerful pleasant and very attractive to intelligent men and to all women In this state he considered that he would one day accomplish some quiet subtle thing that the elect would deem worthy and passing on would join the dimmer stars in a nebulous indeterminate heaven halfway between death and immortality Until the time came for this effort he would be Anthony Patch—not a portrait of a man but a distinct and dynamic personality opinionated contemptuous functioning from within outward—a man who was aware that there could be no honor and yet had honor who knew the sophistry of courage and yet was brave
A WORTHY MAN AND HIS GIFTED SON
Anthony drew as much consciousness of social security from being the grandson of Adam J Patch as he would have had from tracing his line over the sea to the crusaders This is inevitable Virginians and Bostonians to the contrary notwithstanding an aristocracy founded sheerly on money postulates wealth in the particular
Now Adam J Patch more familiarly known as Cross Patch left his fathers farm in Tarrytown early in sixtyone to join a New York cavalry regiment He came home from the war a major charged into Wall Street and amid much fuss fume applause and ill will he gathered to himself some seventyfive million dollars
This occupied his energies until he was fiftyseven years old It was then that he determined after a severe attack of sclerosis to consecrate the remainder of his life to the moral regeneration of the world He became a reformer among reformers Emulating the magnificent efforts of Anthony Comstock after whom his grandson was named he levelled a varied assortment of uppercuts and bodyblows at liquor literature vice art patent medicines and Sunday theatres His mind under the influence of that insidious mildew which eventually forms on all but the few gave itself up furiously to every indignation of the age From an armchair in the office of his Tarrytown estate he directed against the enormous hypothetical enemy unrighteousness a campaign which went on through fifteen years during which he displayed himself a rabid monomaniac an unqualified nuisance and an intolerable bore The year in which this story opens found him wearying his campaign had grown desultory 1861 was creeping up slowly on 1895 his thoughts ran a great deal on the Civil War somewhat on his dead wife and son almost infinitesimally on his grandson Anthony
Early in his career Adam Patch had married an anemic lady of thirty Alicia Withers who brought him one hundred thousand dollars and an impeccable entré into the banking circles of New York Immediately and rather spunkily she had borne him a son and as if completely devitalized by the magnificence of this performance she had thenceforth effaced herself within the shadowy dimensions of the nursery The boy Adam Ulysses Patch became an inveterate joiner of clubs connoisseur of good form and driver of tandems—at the astonishing age of twentysix he began his memoirs under the title New York Society as I Have Seen It On the rumor of its conception this work was eagerly bid for among publishers but as it proved after his death to be immoderately verbose and overpoweringly dull it never obtained even a private printing
This Fifth Avenue Chesterfield married at twentytwo His wife was Henrietta Lebrune the Boston Society Contralto and the single child of the union was at the request of his grandfather christened Anthony Comstock Patch When he went to Harvard the Comstock dropped out of his name to a nether hell of oblivion and was never heard of thereafter
Young Anthony had one picture of his father and mother together—so often had it faced his eyes in childhood that it had acquired the impersonality of furniture but every one who came into his bedroom regarded it with interest It showed a dandy of the nineties spare and handsome standing beside a tall dark lady with a muff and the suggestion of a bustle Between them was a little boy with long brown curls dressed in a velvet Lord Fauntleroy suit This was Anthony at five the year of his mothers death
His memories of the Boston Society Contralto were nebulous and musical She was a lady who sang sang sang in the music room of their house on Washington Square—sometimes with guests scattered all about her the men with their arms folded balanced breathlessly on the edges of sofas the women with their hands in their laps occasionally making little whispers to the men and always clapping very briskly and uttering cooing cries after each song—and often she sang to Anthony alone in Italian or French or in a strange and terrible dialect which she imagined to be the speech of the Southern negro
His recollections of the gallant Ulysses the first man in America to roll the lapels of his coat were much more vivid After Henrietta Lebrune Patch had joined another choir as her widower huskily remarked from time to time father and son lived up at grampas in Tarrytown and Ulysses came daily to Anthonys nursery and expelled pleasant thicksmelling words for sometimes as much as an hour He was continually promising Anthony hunting trips and fishing trips and excursions to Atlantic City oh some time soon now but none of them ever materialized One trip they did take when Anthony was eleven they went abroad to England and Switzerland and there in the best hotel in Lucerne his father died with much sweating and grunting and crying aloud for air In a panic of despair and terror Anthony was brought back to America wedded to a vague melancholy that was to stay beside him through the rest of his life
PAST AND PERSON OF THE HERO
At eleven he had a horror of death Within six impressionable years his parents had died and his grandmother had faded off almost imperceptibly until for the first time since her marriage her person held for one day an unquestioned supremacy over her own drawing room So to Anthony life was a struggle against death that waited at every corner It was as a concession to his hypochondriacal imagination that he formed the habit of reading in bed—it soothed him He read until he was tired and often fell asleep with the lights still on
His favorite diversion until he was fourteen was his stamp collection enormous as nearly exhaustive as a boys could be—his grandfather considered fatuously that it was teaching him geography So Anthony kept up a correspondence with a half dozen Stamp and Coin companies and it was rare that the mail failed to bring him new stampbooks or packages of glittering approval sheets—there was a mysterious fascination in transferring his acquisitions interminably from one book to another His stamps were his greatest happiness and he bestowed impatient frowns on any one who interrupted him at play with them they devoured his allowance every month and he lay awake at night musing untiringly on their variety and manycolored splendor
At sixteen he had lived almost entirely within himself an inarticulate boy thoroughly unAmerican and politely bewildered by his contemporaries The two preceding years had been spent in Europe with a private tutor who persuaded him that Harvard was the thing it would open doors it would be a tremendous tonic it would give him innumerable selfsacrificing and devoted friends So he went to Harvard—there was no other logical thing to be done with him
Oblivious to the social system he lived for a while alone and unsought in a high room in Beck Hall—a slim dark boy of medium height with a shy sensitive mouth His allowance was more than liberal He laid the foundations for a library by purchasing from a wandering bibliophile first editions of Swinburne Meredith and Hardy and a yellowed illegible autograph letter of Keatss finding later that he had been amazingly overcharged He became an exquisite dandy amassed a rather pathetic collection of silk pajamas brocaded dressinggowns and neckties too flamboyant to wear in this secret finery he would parade before a mirror in his room or lie stretched in satin along his windowseat looking down on the yard and realizing dimly this clamor breathless and immediate in which it seemed he was never to have a part
Curiously enough he found in senior year that he had acquired a position in his class He learned that he was looked upon as a rather romantic figure a scholar a recluse a tower of erudition This amused him but secretly pleased him—he began going out at first a little and then a great deal He made the Pudding He drank—quietly and in the proper tradition It was said of him that had he not come to college so young he might have done extremely well In 1909 when he graduated he was only twenty years old
Then abroad again—to Rome this time where he dallied with architecture and painting in turn took up the violin and wrote some ghastly Italian sonnets supposedly the ruminations of a thirteenthcentury monk on the joys of the contemplative life It became established among his Harvard intimates that he was in Rome and those of them who were abroad that year looked him up and discovered with him on many moonlight excursions much in the city that was older than the Renaissance or indeed than the republic Maury Noble from Philadelphia for instance remained two months and together they realized the peculiar charm of Latin women and had a delightful sense of being very young and free in a civilization that was very old and free Not a few acquaintances of his grandfathers called on him and had he so desired he might have been persona grata with the diplomatic set—indeed he found that his inclinations tended more and more toward conviviality but that long adolescent aloofness and consequent shyness still dictated to his conduct
He returned to America in 1912 because of one of his grandfathers sudden illnesses and after an excessively tiresome talk with the perpetually convalescent old man he decided to put off until his grandfathers death the idea of living permanently abroad After a prolonged search he took an apartment on Fiftysecond Street and to all appearances settled down
In 1913 Anthony Patchs adjustment of himself to the universe was in process of consummation Physically he had improved since his undergraduate days—he was still too thin but his shoulders had widened and his brunette face had lost the frightened look of his freshman year He was secretly orderly and in person spick and span—his friends declared that they had never seen his hair rumpled His nose was too sharp his mouth was one of those unfortunate mirrors of mood inclined to droop perceptibly in moments of unhappiness but his blue eyes were charming whether alert with intelligence or half closed in an expression of melancholy humor
One of those men devoid of the symmetry of feature essential to the Aryan ideal he was yet here and there considered handsome—moreover he was very clean in appearance and in reality with that especial cleanness borrowed from beauty
THE REPROACHLESS APARTMENT
Fifth and Sixth Avenues it seemed to Anthony were the uprights of a gigantic ladder stretching from Washington Square to Central Park Coming uptown on top of a bus toward Fiftysecond Street invariably gave him the sensation of hoisting himself hand by hand on a series of treacherous rungs and when the bus jolted to a stop at his own rung he found something akin to relief as he descended the reckless metal steps to the sidewalk
After that he had but to walk down Fiftysecond Street half a block pass a stodgy family of brownstone houses—and then in a jiffy he was under the high ceilings of his great front room This was entirely satisfactory Here after all life began Here he slept breakfasted read and entertained
The house itself was of murky material built in the late nineties in response to the steadily growing need of small apartments each floor had been thoroughly remodelled and rented individually Of the four apartments Anthonys on the second floor was the most desirable
The front room had fine high ceilings and three large windows that loomed down pleasantly upon Fiftysecond Street In its appointments it escaped by a safe margin being of any particular period it escaped stiffness stuffiness bareness and decadence It smelt neither of smoke nor of incense—it was tall and faintly blue There was a deep lounge of the softest brown leather with somnolence drifting about it like a haze There was a high screen of Chinese lacquer chiefly concerned with geometrical fishermen and huntsmen in black and gold this made a corner alcove for a voluminous chair guarded by an orangecolored standing lamp Deep in the fireplace a quartered shield was burned to a murky black
Passing through the diningroom which as Anthony took only breakfast at home was merely a magnificent potentiality and down a comparatively long hall one came to the heart and core of the apartment—Anthonys bedroom and bath
Both of them were immense Under the ceilings of the former even the great canopied bed seemed of only average size On the floor an exotic rug of crimson velvet was soft as fleece on his bare feet His bathroom in contrast to the rather portentous character of his bedroom was gay bright extremely habitable and even faintly facetious Framed around the walls were photographs of four celebrated thespian beauties of the day Julia Sanderson as The Sunshine Girl Ina Claire as The Quaker Girl Billie Burke as The MindthePaint Girl and Hazel Dawn as The Pink Lady Between Billie Burke and Hazel Dawn hung a print representing a great stretch of snow presided over by a cold and formidable sun—this claimed Anthony symbolized the cold shower
The bathtub equipped with an ingenious bookholder was low and large Beside it a wall wardrobe bulged with sufficient linen for three men and with a generation of neckties There was no skimpy glorified towel of a carpet—instead a rich rug like the one in his bedroom a miracle of softness that seemed almost to massage the wet foot emerging from the tub…
All in all a room to conjure with—it was easy to see that Anthony dressed there arranged his immaculate hair there in fact did everything but sleep and eat there It was his pride this bathroom He felt that if he had a love he would have hung her picture just facing the tub so that lost in the soothing steamings of the hot water he might lie and look up at her and muse warmly and sensuously on her beauty
NOR DOES HE SPIN
The apartment was kept clean by an English servant with the singularly almost theatrically appropriate name of Bounds whose technic was marred only by the fact that he wore a soft collar Had he been entirely Anthonys Bounds this defect would have been summarily remedied but he was also the Bounds of two other gentlemen in the neighborhood From eight until eleven in the morning he was entirely Anthonys He arrived with the mail and cooked breakfast At ninethirty he pulled the edge of Anthonys blanket and spoke a few terse words—Anthony never remembered clearly what they were and rather suspected they were deprecative then he served breakfast on a cardtable in the front room made the bed and after asking with some hostility if there was anything else withdrew
In the mornings at least once a week Anthony went to see his broker His income was slightly under seven thousand a year the interest on money inherited from his mother His grandfather who had never allowed his own son to graduate from a very liberal allowance judged that this sum was sufficient for young Anthonys needs Every Christmas he sent him a fivehundreddollar bond which Anthony usually sold if possible as he was always a little not very hard up
The visits to his broker varied from semisocial chats to discussions of the safety of eight per cent investments and Anthony always enjoyed them The big trust company building seemed to link him definitely to the great fortunes whose solidarity he respected and to assure him that he was adequately chaperoned by the hierarchy of finance From these hurried men he derived the same sense of safety that he had in contemplating his grandfathers money—even more for the latter appeared vaguely a demand loan made by the world to Adam Patchs own moral righteousness while this money downtown seemed rather to have been grasped and held by sheer indomitable strengths and tremendous feats of will in addition it seemed more definitely and explicitly—money
Closely as Anthony trod on the heels of his income he considered it to be enough Some golden day of course he would have many millions meanwhile he possessed a raison detre in the theoretical creation of essays on the popes of the Renaissance This flashes back to the conversation with his grandfather immediately upon his return from Rome
He had hoped to find his grandfather dead but had learned by telephoning from the pier that Adam Patch was comparatively well again—the next day he had concealed his disappointment and gone out to Tarrytown Five miles from the station his taxicab entered an elaborately groomed drive that threaded a veritable maze of walls and wire fences guarding the estate—this said the public was because it was definitely known that if the Socialists had their way one of the first men theyd assassinate would be old Cross Patch
Anthony was late and the venerable philanthropist was awaiting him in a glasswalled sun parlor where he was glancing through the morning papers for the second time His secretary Edward Shuttleworth—who before his regeneration had been gambler saloonkeeper and general reprobate—ushered Anthony into the room exhibiting his redeemer and benefactor as though he were displaying a treasure of immense value
They shook hands gravely Im awfully glad to hear youre better
Anthony said
The senior Patch with an air of having seen his grandson only last week pulled out his watch
Train late he asked mildly
It had irritated him to wait for Anthony He was under the delusion not only that in his youth he had handled his practical affairs with the utmost scrupulousness even to keeping every engagement on the dot but also that this was the direct and primary cause of his success
Its been late a good deal this month he remarked with a shade of meek accusation in his voice—and then after a long sigh Sit down
Anthony surveyed his grandfather with that tacit amazement which always attended the sight That this feeble unintelligent old man was possessed of such power that yellow journals to the contrary the men in the republic whose souls he could not have bought directly or indirectly would scarcely have populated White Plains seemed as impossible to believe as that he had once been a pinkandwhite baby
The span of his seventyfive years had acted as a magic bellows—the first quartercentury had blown him full with life and the last had sucked it all back It had sucked in the cheeks and the chest and the girth of arm and leg It had tyrannously demanded his teeth one by one suspended his small eyes in darkbluish sacks tweeked out his hairs changed him from gray to white in some places from pink to yellow in others—callously transposing his colors like a child trying over a paintbox Then through his body and his soul it had attacked his brain It had sent him nightsweats and tears and unfounded dreads It had split his intense normality into credulity and suspicion Out of the coarse material of his enthusiasm it had cut dozens of meek but petulant obsessions his energy was shrunk to the bad temper of a spoiled child and for his will to power was substituted a fatuous puerile desire for a land of harps and canticles on earth
The amenities having been gingerly touched upon Anthony felt that he was expected to outline his intentions—and simultaneously a glimmer in the old mans eye warned him against broaching for the present his desire to live abroad He wished that Shuttleworth would have tact enough to leave the room—he detested Shuttleworth—but the secretary had settled blandly in a rocker and was dividing between the two Patches the glances of his faded eyes
Now that youre here you ought to do something said his grandfather softly accomplish something
Anthony waited for him to speak of leaving something done when you pass on Then he made a suggestion
I thought—it seemed to me that perhaps Im best qualified to write—
Adam Patch winced visualizing a family poet with a long hair and three mistresses
—history finished Anthony
History History of what The Civil War The Revolution
Why—no sir A history of the Middle Ages Simultaneously an idea was born for a history of the Renaissance popes written from some novel angle Still he was glad he had said Middle Ages
Middle Ages Why not your own country Something you know about
Well you see Ive lived so much abroad—
Why you should write about the Middle Ages I dont know Dark Ages we used to call em Nobody knows what happened and nobody cares except that theyre over now He continued for some minutes on the uselessness of such information touching naturally on the Spanish Inquisition and the corruption of the monasteries Then
Do you think youll be able to do any work in New York—or do you really intend to work at all This last with soft almost imperceptible cynicism
Why yes I do sir
Whenll you be done
Well therell be an outline you see—and a lot of preliminary reading
I should think youd have done enough of that already
The conversation worked itself jerkily toward a rather abrupt conclusion when Anthony rose looked at his watch and remarked that he had an engagement with his broker that afternoon He had intended to stay a few days with his grandfather but he was tired and irritated from a rough crossing and quite unwilling to stand a subtle and sanctimonious browbeating He would come out again in a few days he said
Nevertheless it was due to this encounter that work had come into his life as a permanent idea During the year that had passed since then he had made several lists of authorities he had even experimented with chapter titles and the division of his work into periods but not one line of actual writing existed at present or seemed likely ever to exist He did nothing—and contrary to the most accredited copybook logic he managed to divert himself with more than average content
AFTERNOON
It was October in 1913 midway in a week of pleasant days with the sunshine loitering in the crossstreets and the atmosphere so languid as to seem weighted with ghostly falling leaves It was pleasant to sit lazily by the open window finishing a chapter of Erewhon It was pleasant to yawn about five toss the book on a table and saunter humming along the hall to his bath
To … you … beautiful lady
he was singing as he turned on the tap
I raise … my … eyes
To … you … beautiful laady
My … heart … cries—
He raised his voice to compete with the flood of water pouring into the tub and as he looked at the picture of Hazel Dawn upon the wall he put an imaginary violin to his shoulder and softly caressed it with a phantom bow Through his closed lips he made a humming noise which he vaguely imagined resembled the sound of a violin After a moment his hands ceased their gyrations and wandered to his shirt which he began to unfasten Stripped and adopting an athletic posture like the tigerskin man in the advertisement he regarded himself with some satisfaction in the mirror breaking off to dabble a tentative foot in the tub Readjusting a faucet and indulging in a few preliminary grunts he slid in
Once accustomed to the temperature of the water he relaxed into a state of drowsy content When he finished his bath he would dress leisurely and walk down Fifth Avenue to the Ritz where he had an appointment for dinner with his two most frequent companions Dick Caramel and Maury Noble Afterward he and Maury were going to the theatre—Caramel would probably trot home and work on his book which ought to be finished pretty soon
Anthony was glad he wasnt going to work on his book The notion of sitting down and conjuring up not only words in which to clothe thoughts but thoughts worthy of being clothed—the whole thing was absurdly beyond his desires
Emerging from his bath he polished himself with the meticulous attention of a bootblack Then he wandered into the bedroom and whistling the while a weird uncertain melody strolled here and there buttoning adjusting and enjoying the warmth of the thick carpet on his feet
He lit a cigarette tossed the match out the open top of the window then paused in his tracks with the cigarette two inches from his mouth—which fell faintly ajar His eyes were focussed upon a spot of brilliant color on the roof of a house farther down the alley
It was a girl in a red negligé silk surely drying her hair by the still hot sun of late afternoon His whistle died upon the stiff air of the room he walked cautiously another step nearer the window with a sudden impression that she was beautiful Sitting on the stone parapet beside her was a cushion the same color as her garment and she was leaning both arms upon it as she looked down into the sunny areaway where Anthony could hear children playing
He watched her for several minutes Something was stirred in him something not accounted for by the warm smell of the afternoon or the triumphant vividness of red He felt persistently that the girl was beautiful—then of a sudden he understood it was her distance not a rare and precious distance of soul but still distance if only in terrestrial yards The autumn air was between them and the roofs and the blurred voices Yet for a not altogether explained second posing perversely in time his emotion had been nearer to adoration than in the deepest kiss he had ever known
He finished his dressing found a black bow tie and adjusted it carefully by the threesided mirror in the bathroom Then yielding to an impulse he walked quickly into the bedroom and again looked out the window The woman was standing up now she had tossed her hair back and he had a full view of her She was fat full thirtyfive utterly undistinguished Making a clicking noise with his mouth he returned to the bathroom and reparted his hair
To … you … beautiful lady
he sang lightly
I raise … my … eyes—
Then with a last soothing brush that left an iridescent surface of sheer gloss he left his bathroom and his apartment and walked down Fifth Avenue to the RitzCarlton
THREE MEN
At seven Anthony and his friend Maury Noble are sitting at a corner table on the cool roof Maury Noble is like nothing so much as a large slender and imposing cat His eyes are narrow and full of incessant protracted blinks His hair is smooth and flat as though it has been licked by a possible—and if so Herculean—mothercat During Anthonys time at Harvard he had been considered the most unique figure in his class the most brilliant the most original—smart quiet and among the saved
This is the man whom Anthony considers his best friend This is the only man of all his acquaintance whom he admires and to a bigger extent than he likes to admit to himself envies
They are glad to see each other now—their eyes are full of kindness as each feels the full effect of novelty after a short separation They are drawing a relaxation from each others presence a new serenity Maury Noble behind that fine and absurdly catlike face is all but purring And Anthony nervous as a willothewisp restless—he is at rest now
They are engaged in one of those easy shortspeech conversations that only men under thirty or men under great stress indulge in
ANTHONY Seven oclock Wheres the Caramel Impatiently I wish hed finish that interminable novel Ive spent more time hungry——
MAURY Hes got a new name for it The Demon Lover —not bad eh
ANTHONY interested The Demon Lover Oh woman wailing—No—not a bit bad Not bad at all—dyou think
MAURY Rather good What time did you say
ANTHONY Seven
MAURYHis eyes narrowing—not unpleasantly but to express a faint disapproval Drove me crazy the other day
ANTHONY How
MAURY That habit of taking notes
ANTHONY Me too Seems Id said something night before that he considered material but hed forgotten it—so he had at me Hed say Cant you try to concentrate And Id say You bore me to tears How do I remember
MAURY laughs noiselessly by a sort of bland and appreciative widening of his features
MAURY Dick doesnt necessarily see more than any one else He merely can put down a larger proportion of what he sees
ANTHONY That rather impressive talent——
MAURY Oh yes Impressive
ANTHONY And energy—ambitious welldirected energy Hes so entertaining—hes so tremendously stimulating and exciting Often theres something breathless in being with him
MAURY Oh yes Silence and then
ANTHONY With his thin somewhat uncertain face at its most convinced _But not indomitable energy Some day bit by bit itll blow away and his rather impressive talent with it and leave only a wisp of a man fretful and egotistic and garrulous
MAURY With laughter Here we sit vowing to each other that little Dick sees less deeply into things than we do And Ill bet he feels a measure of superiority on his side—creative mind over merely critical mind and all that
ANTHONY Oh yes But hes wrong Hes inclined to fall for a million silly enthusiasms If it wasnt that hes absorbed in realism and therefore has to adopt the garments of the cynic hed be—hed be credulous as a college religious leader Hes an idealist Oh yes He thinks hes not because hes rejected Christianity Remember him in college just swallow every writer whole one after another ideas technic and characters Chesterton Shaw Wells each one as easily as the last
MAURYStill considering his own last observation I remember
ANTHONY Its true Natural born fetichworshipper Take art—
MAURY Lets order Hell be—
ANTHONY Sure Lets order I told him—
MAURY Here he comes Look—hes going to bump that waiter He lifts his finger as a signal—lifts it as though it were a soft and friendly claw Here yare Caramel
A NEW VOICE Fiercely Hello Maury Hello Anthony Comstock Patch
How is old Adams grandson Débutantes still after you eh
In person RICHARD CARAMEL is short and fair—he is to be bald at thirtyfive He has yellowish eyes—one of them startlingly clear the other opaque as a muddy pool—and a bulging brow like a funnypaper baby He bulges in other places—his paunch bulges prophetically his words have an air of bulging from his mouth even his dinner coat pockets bulge as though from contamination with a dogeared collection of timetables programmes and miscellaneous scraps—on these he takes his notes with great screwings up of his unmatched yellow eyes and motions of silence with his disengaged left hand
When he reaches the table he shakes hands with ANTHONY and MAURY He is one of those men who invariably shake hands even with people whom they have seen an hour before
ANTHONY Hello Caramel Glad youre here We needed a comic relief
MAURY Youre late Been racing the postman down the block Weve been clawing over your character
DICK Fixing ANTHONY eagerly with the bright eye Whatd you say Tell me and Ill write it down Cut three thousand words out of Part One this afternoon
MAURY Noble aesthete And I poured alcohol into my stomach
DICK I dont doubt it I bet you two have been sitting here for an hour talking about liquor
ANTHONY We never pass out my beardless boy
MAURY We never go home with ladies we meet when were lit
ANTHONY All in our parties are characterized by a certain haughty distinction
DICK The particularly silly sort who boast about being tanks Trouble is youre both in the eighteenth century School of the Old English Squire Drink quietly until you roll under the table Never have a good time Oh no that isnt done at all
ANTHONY This from Chapter Six Ill bet
DICK Going to the theatre
MAURY Yes We intend to spend the evening doing some deep thinking over of lifes problems The thing is tersely called The Woman I presume that she will pay
ANTHONY My God Is that what it is Lets go to the Follies again
MAURY Im tired of it Ive seen it three times To DICK The first time we went out after Act One and found a most amazing bar When we came back we entered the wrong theatre
ANTHONY Had a protracted dispute with a scared young couple we thought were in our seats
DICK As though talking to himself I think—that when Ive done another novel and a play and maybe a book of short stories Ill do a musical comedy
MAURY I know—with intellectual lyrics that no one will listen to And all the critics will groan and grunt about Dear old Pinafore And I shall go on shining as a brilliantly meaningless figure in a meaningless world
DICK Pompously Art isnt meaningless
MAURY It is in itself. It isnt in that it tries to make life less so
ANTHONY In other words, Dick youre playing before a grand stand peopled with ghosts
MAURY Give a good show anyhow
ANTHONYTo MAURY On the contrary Id feel that it being a meaningless world why write The very attempt to give it purpose is purposeless
DICK Well even admitting all that be a decent pragmatist and grant a poor man the instinct to live Would you want every one to accept that sophistic rot
ANTHONY Yeah I suppose so
MAURY No sir I believe that every one in America but a selected thousand should be compelled to accept a very rigid system of morals—Roman Catholicism for instance I dont complain of conventional morality I complain rather of the mediocre heretics who seize upon the findings of sophistication and adopt the pose of a moral freedom to which they are by no means entitled by their intelligences
Here the soup arrives and what MAURY might have gone on to say is lost for all time
NIGHT
Afterward they visited a ticket speculator and at a price obtained seats for a new musical comedy called High Jinks In the foyer of the theatre they waited a few moments to see the firstnight crowd come in There were opera cloaks stitched of myriad manycolored silks and furs there were jewels dripping from arms and throats and eartips of white and rose there were innumerable broad shimmers down the middles of innumerable silk hats there were shoes of gold and bronze and red and shining black there were the highpiled tightpacked coiffures of many women and the slick watered hair of wellkept men—most of all there was the ebbing flowing chattering chuckling foaming slowrolling wave effect of this cheerful sea of people as tonight it poured its glittering torrent into the artificial lake of laughter…
After the play they parted—Maury was going to a dance at Sherrys
Anthony homeward and to bed
He found his way slowly over the jostled evening mass of Times Square which the chariot race and its thousand satellites made rarely beautiful and bright and intimate with carnival Faces swirled about him a kaleidoscope of girls ugly ugly as sin—too fat too lean yet floating upon this autumn air as upon their own warm and passionate breaths poured out into the night Here for all their vulgarity he thought they were faintly and subtly mysterious He inhaled carefully swallowing into his lungs perfume and the not unpleasant scent of many cigarettes He caught the glance of a dark young beauty sitting alone in a closed taxicab Her eyes in the halflight suggested night and violets and for a moment he stirred again to that halfforgotten remoteness of the afternoon
Two young Jewish men passed him talking in loud voices and craning their necks here and there in fatuous supercilious glances They were dressed in suits of the exaggerated tightness then semifashionable their turned over collars were notched at the Adams apple they wore gray spats and carried gray gloves on their cane handles
Passed a bewildered old lady borne along like a basket of eggs between two men who exclaimed to her of the wonders of Times Square—explained them so quickly that the old lady trying to be impartially interested waved her head here and there like a piece of windworried old orangepeel Anthony heard a snatch of their conversation
Theres the Astor mama
Look See the chariot race sign——
Theres where we were today No there
Good gracious …
You should worry and grow thin like a dime He recognized the current witticism of the year as it issued stridently from one of the pairs at his elbow
And I says to him I says——
The soft rush of taxis by him and laughter laughter hoarse as a crows incessant and loud with the rumble of the subways underneath—and over all the revolutions of light the growings and recedings of light—light dividing like pearls—forming and reforming in glittering bars and circles and monstrous grotesque figures cut amazingly on the sky
He turned thankfully down the hush that blew like a dark wind out of a crossstreet passed a bakeryrestaurant in whose windows a dozen roast chickens turned over and over on an automatic spit From the door came a smell that was hot doughy and pink A drugstore next exhaling medicines spilt soda water and a pleasant undertone from the cosmetic counter then a Chinese laundry still open steamy and stifling smelling folded and vaguely yellow All these depressed him reaching Sixth Avenue he stopped at a corner cigar store and emerged feeling better—the cigar store was cheerful humanity in a navy blue mist buying a luxury …
Once in his apartment he smoked a last cigarette sitting in the dark by his open front window For the first time in over a year he found himself thoroughly enjoying New York There was a rare pungency in it certainly a quality almost Southern A lonesome town though He who had grown up alone had lately learned to avoid solitude During the past several months he had been careful when he had no engagement for the evening to hurry to one of his clubs and find some one Oh there was a loneliness here——
His cigarette its smoke bordering the thin folds of curtain with rims of faint white spray glowed on until the clock in St Annes down the street struck one with a querulous fashionable beauty The elevated half a quiet block away sounded a rumble of drums—and should he lean from his window he would see the train like an angry eagle breasting the dark curve at the corner He was reminded of a fantastic romance he had lately read in which cities had been bombed from aerial trains and for a moment he fancied that Washington Square had declared war on Central Park and that this was a northbound menace loaded with battle and sudden death But as it passed the illusion faded it diminished to the faintest of drums—then to a faraway droning eagle
There were the bells and the continued low blur of auto horns from Fifth Avenue but his own street was silent and he was safe in here from all the threat of life for there was his door and the long hall and his guardian bedroom—safe safe The arclight shining into his window seemed for this hour like the moon only brighter and more beautiful than the moon
A FLASHBACK IN PARADISE
Beauty who was born anew every hundred years sat in a sort of outdoor waiting room through which blew gusts of white wind and occasionally a breathless hurried star The stars winked at her intimately as they went by and the winds made a soft incessant flurry in her hair She was incomprehensible for in her soul and spirit were one—the beauty of her body was the essence of her soul She was that unity sought for by philosophers through many centuries In this outdoor waiting room of winds and stars she had been sitting for a hundred years at peace in the contemplation of herself
It became known to her at length that she was to be born again Sighing she began a long conversation with a voice that was in the white wind a conversation that took many hours and of which I can give only a fragment here
BEAUTY Her lips scarcely stirring her eyes turned as always inward upon herself Whither shall I journey now
THE VOICE To a new country—a land you have never seen before
BEAUTY Petulantly I loathe breaking into these new civilizations
How long a stay this time
THE VOICE Fifteen years
BEAUTY And whats the name of the place
THE VOICE It is the most opulent most gorgeous land on earth—a land whose wisest are but little wiser than its dullest a land where the rulers have minds like little children and the lawgivers believe in Santa Claus where ugly women control strong men——
BEAUTY In astonishment What
THE VOICE Very much depressed Yes it is truly a melancholy spectacle Women with receding chins and shapeless noses go about in broad daylight saying Do this and Do that and all the men even those of great wealth obey implicitly their women to whom they refer sonorously either as Mrs Soandso or as the wife
BEAUTY But this cant be true I can understand of course their obedience to women of charm—but to fat women to bony women to women with scrawny cheeks
THE VOICE Even so
BEAUTY What of me What chance shall I have
THE VOICE It will be harder going if I may borrow a phrase
BEAUTY After a dissatisfied pause Why not the old lands the land of grapes and softtongued men or the land of ships and seas
THE VOICE Its expected that theyll be very busy shortly
BEAUTY Oh
THE VOICE Your life on earth will be as always the interval between two significant glances in a mundane mirror
BEAUTY What will I be Tell me
THE VOICE At first it was thought that you would go this time as an actress in the motion pictures but after all its not advisable You will be disguised during your fifteen years as what is called a susciety gurl
BEAUTY Whats that
There is a new sound in the wind which must for our purposes be interpreted as THE VOICE scratching its head
THE VOICE At length Its a sort of bogus aristocrat
BEAUTY Bogus What is bogus
THE VOICE That too you will discover in this land You will find much that is bogus Also you will do much that is bogus
BEAUTY Placidly It all sounds so vulgar
THE VOICE Not half as vulgar as it is You will be known during your fifteen years as a ragtime kid a flapper a jazzbaby and a baby vamp You will dance new dances neither more nor less gracefully than you danced the old ones
BEAUTY In a whisper Will I be paid
THE VOICE Yes as usual—in love
BEAUTY With a faint laugh which disturbs only momentarily the immobility of her lips And will I like being called a jazzbaby
THE VOICE Soberly You will love it…
The dialogue ends here with BEAUTY still sitting quietly the stars pausing in an ecstasy of appreciation the wind white and gusty blowing through her hair
All this took place seven years before ANTHONY sat by the front windows of his apartment and listened to the chimes of St Annes
CHAPTER II
PORTRAIT OF A SIREN
Crispness folded down upon New York a month later bringing November and the three big football games and a great fluttering of furs along Fifth Avenue It brought also a sense of tension to the city and suppressed excitement Every morning now there were invitations in Anthonys mail Three dozen virtuous females of the first layer were proclaiming their fitness if not their specific willingness to bear children unto three dozen millionaires Five dozen virtuous females of the second layer were proclaiming not only this fitness but in addition a tremendous undaunted ambition toward the first three dozen young men who were of course invited to each of the ninetysix parties—as were the young ladys group of family friends acquaintances college boys and eager young outsiders To continue there was a third layer from the skirts of the city from Newark and the Jersey suburbs up to bitter Connecticut and the ineligible sections of Long Island—and doubtless contiguous layers down to the citys shoes Jewesses were coming out into a society of Jewish men and women from Riverside to the Bronx and looking forward to a rising young broker or jeweller and a kosher wedding Irish girls were casting their eyes with license at last to do so upon a society of young Tammany politicians pious undertakers and grownup choirboys
And naturally the city caught the contagious air of entré—the working girls poor ugly souls wrapping soap in the factories and showing finery in the big stores dreamed that perhaps in the spectacular excitement of this winter they might obtain for themselves the coveted male—as in a muddled carnival crowd an inefficient pickpocket may consider his chances increased And the chimneys commenced to smoke and the subways foulness was freshened And the actresses came out in new plays and the publishers came out with new books and the Castles came out with new dances And the railroads came out with new schedules containing new mistakes instead of the old ones that the commuters had grown used to…
The City was coming out
Anthony walking along Fortysecond Street one afternoon under a steelgray sky ran unexpectedly into Richard Caramel emerging from the Manhattan Hotel barber shop It was a cold day the first definitely cold day and Caramel had on one of those kneelength sheeplined coats long worn by the working men of the Middle West that were just coming into fashionable approval His soft hat was of a discreet dark brown and from under it his clear eye flamed like a topaz He stopped Anthony enthusiastically slapping him on the arms more from a desire to keep himself warm than from playfulness and after his inevitable hand shake exploded into sound
Cold as the devil—Good Lord Ive been working like the deuce all day till my room got so cold I thought Id get pneumonia Darn landlady economizing on coal came up when I yelled over the stairs for her for half an hour Began explaining why and all God First she drove me crazy then I began to think she was sort of a character and took notes while she talked—so she couldnt see me you know just as though I were writing casually—
He had seized Anthonys arm and walking him briskly up Madison Avenue
Where to
Nowhere in particular
Well then whats the use demanded Anthony
They stopped and stared at each other and Anthony wondered if the cold made his own face as repellent as Dick Caramels whose nose was crimson whose bulging brow was blue whose yellow unmatched eyes were red and watery at the rims After a moment they began walking again
Done some good work on my novel Dick was looking and talking emphatically at the sidewalk But I have to get out once in a while He glanced at Anthony apologetically as though craving encouragement
I have to talk I guess very few people ever really think I mean sit down and ponder and have ideas in sequence I do my thinking in writing or conversation Youve got to have a start sort of—something to defend or contradict—dont you think
Anthony grunted and withdrew his arm gently
I dont mind carrying you Dick but with that coat—
I mean continued Richard Caramel gravely that on paper your first paragraph contains the idea youre going to damn or enlarge on In conversation youve got your visàviss last statement—but when you simply ponder why your ideas just succeed each other like magiclantern pictures and each one forces out the last
They passed Fortyfifth Street and slowed down slightly Both of them lit cigarettes and blew tremendous clouds of smoke and frosted breath into the air
Lets walk up to the Plaza and have an eggnog suggested Anthony Do you good Airll get the rotten nicotine out of your lungs Come on—Ill let you talk about your book all the way
I dont want to if it bores you I mean you neednt do it as a favor
The words tumbled out in haste and though he tried to keep his face
casual it screwed up uncertainly Anthony was compelled to protest
Bore me I should say not
Got a cousin— began Dick but Anthony interrupted by stretching out his arms and breathing forth a low cry of exultation
Good weather he exclaimed isnt it Makes me feel about ten I mean it makes me feel as I should have felt when I was ten Murderous Oh God one minute its my world and the next Im the worlds fool Today its my world and everythings easy easy Even Nothing is easy
Got a cousin up at the Plaza Famous girl We can go up and meet her She lives there in the winter—has lately anyway—with her mother and father
Didnt know you had cousins in New York
Her names Gloria Shes from home—Kansas City Her mothers a practising Bilphist and her fathers quite dull but a perfect gentleman
What are they Literary material
They try to be All the old man does is tell me he just met the most wonderful character for a novel Then he tells me about some idiotic friend of his and then he says Theres a character for you Why dont you write him up Everybodyd be interested in him Or else he tells me about Japan or Paris or some other very obvious place and says Why dont you write a story about that place Thatd be a wonderful setting for a story
How about the girl inquired Anthony casually Gloria—Gloria what
Gilbert Oh youve heard of her—Gloria Gilbert Goes to dances at colleges—all that sort of thing
Ive heard her name
Goodlooking—in fact damned attractive
They reached Fiftieth Street and turned over toward the Avenue
I dont care for young girls as a rule said Anthony frowning
This was not strictly true While it seemed to him that the average debutante spent every hour of her day thinking and talking about what the great world had mapped out for her to do during the next hour any girl who made a living directly on her prettiness interested him enormously
Glorias darn nice—not a brain in her head
Anthony laughed in a onesyllabled snort
By that you mean that she hasnt a line of literary patter
No I dont
Dick you know what passes as brains in a girl for you Earnest young women who sit with you in a corner and talk earnestly about life The kind who when they were sixteen argued with grave faces as to whether kissing was right or wrong—and whether it was immoral for freshmen to drink beer
Richard Caramel was offended His scowl crinkled like crushed paper
No— he began but Anthony interrupted ruthlessly
Oh yes kind who just at present sit in corners and confer on the latest Scandinavian Dante available in English translation
Dick turned to him a curious falling in his whole countenance His question was almost an appeal
Whats the matter with you and Maury You talk sometimes as though I were a sort of inferior
Anthony was confused but he was also cold and a little uncomfortable so he took refuge in attack
I dont think your brains matter Dick
Of course they matter exclaimed Dick angrily What do you mean Why dont they matter
You might know too much for your pen
I couldnt possibly
I can imagine insisted Anthony a man knowing too much for his talent to express Like me Suppose for instance I have more wisdom than you and less talent It would tend to make me inarticulate You on the contrary have enough water to fill the pail and a big enough pail to hold the water
I dont follow you at all complained Dick in a crestfallen tone Infinitely dismayed he seemed to bulge in protest He was staring intently at Anthony and caroming off a succession of passersby who reproached him with fierce resentful glances
I simply mean that a talent like Wellss could carry the intelligence of a Spencer But an inferior talent can only be graceful when its carrying inferior ideas And the more narrowly you can look at a thing the more entertaining you can be about it
Dick considered unable to decide the exact degree of criticism intended by Anthonys remarks But Anthony with that facility which seemed so frequently to flow from him continued his dark eyes gleaming in his thin face his chin raised his voice raised his whole physical being raised
Say I am proud and sane and wise—an Athenian among Greeks Well I might fail where a lesser man would succeed He could imitate he could adorn he could be enthusiastic he could be hopefully constructive But this hypothetical me would be too proud to imitate too sane to be enthusiastic too sophisticated to be Utopian too Grecian to adorn
Then you dont think the artist works from his intelligence
No He goes on improving if he can what he imitates in the way of style and choosing from his own interpretation of the things around him what constitutes material But after all every writer writes because its his mode of living Dont tell me you like this Divine Function of the Artist business
Im not accustomed even to refer to myself as an artist
Dick said Anthony changing his tone I want to beg your pardon
Why
For that outburst Im honestly sorry I was talking for effect
Somewhat mollified Dick rejoined
Ive often said you were a Philistine at heart
It was a crackling dusk when they turned in under the white façade of the Plaza and tasted slowly the foam and yellow thickness of an eggnog Anthony looked at his companion Richard Caramels nose and brow were slowly approaching a like pigmentation the red was leaving the one the blue deserting the other Glancing in a mirror Anthony was glad to find that his own skin had not discolored On the contrary a faint glow had kindled in his cheeks—he fancied that he had never looked so well
Enough for me said Dick his tone that of an athlete in training I want to go up and see the Gilberts Wont you come
Why—yes If you dont dedicate me to the parents and dash off in the corner with Dora
Not Dora—Gloria
A clerk announced them over the phone and ascending to the tenth floor they followed a winding corridor and knocked at 1088 The door was answered by a middleaged lady—Mrs Gilbert herself
How do you do She spoke in the conventional American ladylady language Well Im _aw_fully glad to see you—
Hasty interjections by Dick and then
Mr Pats Well do come in and leave your coat there She pointed to a chair and changed her inflection to a deprecatory laugh full of minute gasps This is really lovely—lovely Why Richard you havent been here for so long—no—no The latter monosyllables served half as responses half as periods to some vague starts from Dick Well do sit down and tell me what youve been doing
One crossed and recrossed one stood and bowed ever so gently one smiled again and again with helpless stupidity one wondered if she would ever sit down at length one slid thankfully into a chair and settled for a pleasant call
I suppose its because youve been busy—as much as anything else smiled Mrs Gilbert somewhat ambiguously The as much as anything else she used to balance all her more rickety sentences She had two other ones at least thats the way I look at it and pure and simple—these three alternated gave each of her remarks an air of being a general reflection on life as though she had calculated all causes and at length put her finger on the ultimate one
Richard Caramels face Anthony saw was now quite normal The brow and cheeks were of a flesh color the nose politely inconspicuous He had fixed his aunt with the brightyellow eye giving her that acute and exaggerated attention that young males are accustomed to render to all females who are of no further value
Are you a writer too Mr Pats … Well perhaps we can all bask in
Richards fame—Gentle laughter led by Mrs Gilbert
Glorias out she said with an air of laying down an axiom from which she would proceed to derive results Shes dancing somewhere Gloria goes goes goes I tell her I dont see how she stands it She dances all afternoon and all night until I think shes going to wear herself to a shadow Her father is very worried about her
She smiled from one to the other They both smiled
She was composed Anthony perceived of a succession of semicircles and parabolas like those figures that gifted folk make on the typewriter head arms bust hips thighs and ankles were in a bewildering tier of roundnesses Well ordered and clean she was with hair of an artificially rich gray her large face sheltered weatherbeaten blue eyes and was adorned with just the faintest white mustache
I always say she remarked to Anthony that Richard is an ancient soul
In the tense pause that followed Anthony considered a pun—something about Dick having been much walked upon
We all have souls of different ages continued Mrs Gilbert radiantly at least thats what I say
Perhaps so agreed Anthony with an air of quickening to a hopeful idea The voice bubbled on
Gloria has a very young soul—irresponsible as much as anything else
She has no sense of responsibility
Shes sparkling Aunt Catherine said Richard pleasantly A sense of responsibility would spoil her Shes too pretty
Well confessed Mrs Gilbert all I know is that she goes and goes and goes—
The number of goings to Glorias discredit was lost in the rattle of the doorknob as it turned to admit Mr Gilbert
He was a short man with a mustache resting like a small white cloud beneath his undistinguished nose He had reached the stage where his value as a social creature was a black and imponderable negative His ideas were the popular delusions of twenty years before his mind steered a wabbly and anaemic course in the wake of the daily newspaper editorials After graduating from a small but terrifying Western university he had entered the celluloid business and as this required only the minute measure of intelligence he brought to it he did well for several years—in fact until about 1911 when he began exchanging contracts for vague agreements with the moving picture industry The moving picture industry had decided about 1912 to gobble him up and at this time he was so to speak delicately balanced on its tongue Meanwhile he was supervising manager of the Associated Midwestern Film Materials Company spending six months of each year in New York and the remainder in Kansas City and St Louis He felt credulously that there was a good thing coming to him—and his wife thought so and his daughter thought so too
He disapproved of Gloria she stayed out late she never ate her meals she was always in a mixup—he had irritated her once and she had used toward him words that he had not thought were part of her vocabulary His wife was easier After fifteen years of incessant guerilla warfare he had conquered her—it was a war of muddled optimism against organized dulness and something in the number of yess with which he could poison a conversation had won him the victory
Yesyesyesyes he would say yesyesyesyes Let me see That was the summer of—let me see—ninetyone or ninetytwo—Yesyesyesyes——
Fifteen years of yess had beaten Mrs Gilbert Fifteen further years of that incessant unaffirmative affirmative accompanied by the perpetual flicking of ashmushrooms from thirtytwo thousand cigars had broken her To this husband of hers she made the last concession of married life which is more complete more irrevocable than the first—she listened to him She told herself that the years had brought her tolerance—actually they had slain what measure she had ever possessed of moral courage
She introduced him to Anthony
This is Mr Pats she said
The young man and the old touched flesh Mr Gilberts hand was soft worn away to the pulpy semblance of a squeezed grapefruit Then husband and wife exchanged greetings—he told her it had grown colder out he said he had walked down to a newsstand on Fortyfourth Street for a Kansas City paper He had intended to ride back in the bus but he had found it too cold yes yes yes yes too cold
Mrs Gilbert added flavor to his adventure by being impressed with his courage in braving the harsh air
Well you are spunky she exclaimed admiringly You are spunky I wouldnt have gone out for anything
Mr Gilbert with true masculine impassivity disregarded the awe he had excited in his wife He turned to the two young men and triumphantly routed them on the subject of the weather Richard Caramel was called on to remember the month of November in Kansas No sooner had the theme been pushed toward him however than it was violently fished back to be lingered over pawed over elongated and generally devitalized by its sponsor
The immemorial thesis that the days somewhere were warm but the nights very pleasant was successfully propounded and they decided the exact distance on an obscure railroad between two points that Dick had inadvertently mentioned Anthony fixed Mr Gilbert with a steady stare and went into a trance through which after a moment Mrs Gilberts smiling voice penetrated
It seems as though the cold were damper here—it seems to eat into my bones
As this remark adequately yessed had been on the tip of Mr Gilberts tongue he could not be blamed for rather abruptly changing the subject
Wheres Gloria
She ought to be here any minute
Have you met my daughter Mr——
Havent had the pleasure Ive heard Dick speak of her often
She and Richard are cousins
Yes Anthony smiled with some effort He was not used to the society of his seniors and his mouth was stiff from superfluous cheerfulness It was such a pleasant thought about Gloria and Dick being cousins He managed within the next minute to throw an agonized glance at his friend
Richard Caramel was afraid theyd have to toddle off
Mrs Gilbert was tremendously sorry
Mr Gilbert thought it was too bad
Mrs Gilbert had a further idea—something about being glad theyd come anyhow even if theyd only seen an old lady way too old to flirt with them Anthony and Dick evidently considered this a sly sally for they laughed one bar in threefour time
Would they come again soon
Oh yes
Gloria would be _aw_fully sorry
Goodby——
Goodby——
Smiles
Smiles
Bang
Two disconsolate young men walking down the tenthfloor corridor of the
Plaza in the direction of the elevator
A LADYS LEGS
Behind Maury Nobles attractive indolence his irrelevance and his easy mockery lay a surprising and relentless maturity of purpose His intention as he stated it in college had been to use three years in travel three years in utter leisure—and then to become immensely rich as quickly as possible
His three years of travel were over He had accomplished the globe with an intensity and curiosity that in any one else would have seemed pedantic without redeeming spontaneity almost the selfediting of a human Baedeker but in this case it assumed an air of mysterious purpose and significant design—as though Maury Noble were some predestined antiChrist urged by a preordination to go everywhere there was to go along the earth and to see all the billions of humans who bred and wept and slew each other here and there upon it
Back in America he was sallying into the search for amusement with the same consistent absorption He who had never taken more than a few cocktails or a pint of wine at a sitting taught himself to drink as he would have taught himself Greek—like Greek it would be the gateway to a wealth of new sensations new psychic states new reactions in joy or misery
His habits were a matter for esoteric speculation He had three rooms in a bachelor apartment on Fortyforth street but he was seldom to be found there The telephone girl had received the most positive instructions that no one should even have his ear without first giving a name to be passed upon She had a list of half a dozen people to whom he was never at home and of the same number to whom he was always at home Foremost on the latter list were Anthony Patch and Richard Caramel
Maurys mother lived with her married son in Philadelphia and there Maury went usually for the weekends so one Saturday night when Anthony prowling the chilly streets in a fit of utter boredom dropped in at the Molton Arms he was overjoyed to find that Mr Noble was at home
His spirits soared faster than the flying elevator This was so good so extremely good to be about to talk to Maury—who would be equally happy at seeing him They would look at each other with a deep affection just behind their eyes which both would conceal beneath some attenuated raillery Had it been summer they would have gone out together and indolently sipped two long Tom Collinses as they wilted their collars and watched the faintly diverting round of some lazy August cabaret But it was cold outside with wind around the edges of the tall buildings and December just up the street so better far an evening together under the soft lamplight and a drink or two of Bushmills or a thimbleful of Maurys Grand Marnier with the books gleaming like ornaments against the walls and Maury radiating a divine inertia as he rested large and catlike in his favorite chair
There he was The room closed about Anthony warmed him The glow of that strong persuasive mind that temperament almost Oriental in its outward impassivity warmed Anthonys restless soul and brought him a peace that could be likened only to the peace a stupid woman gives One must understand all—else one must take all for granted Maury filled the room tigerlike godlike The winds outside were stilled the brass candlesticks on the mantel glowed like tapers before an altar
What keeps you here today Anthony spread himself over a yielding sofa and made an elbowrest among the pillows
Just been here an hour Tea dance—and I stayed so late I missed my train to Philadelphia
Strange to stay so long commented Anthony curiously
Rather Whatd you do
Geraldine Little usher at Keiths I told you about her
Oh
Paid me a call about three and stayed till five Peculiar little soul—she gets me Shes so utterly stupid
Maury was silent
Strange as it may seem continued Anthony so far as Im concerned and even so far as I know Geraldine is a paragon of virtue
He had known her a month a girl of nondescript and nomadic habits Someone had casually passed her on to Anthony who considered her amusing and rather liked the chaste and fairylike kisses she had given him on the third night of their acquaintance when they had driven in a taxi through the Park She had a vague family—a shadowy aunt and uncle who shared with her an apartment in the labyrinthine hundreds She was company familiar and faintly intimate and restful Further than that he did not care to experiment—not from any moral compunction but from a dread of allowing any entanglement to disturb what he felt was the growing serenity of his life
She has two stunts he informed Maury one of them is to get her hair over her eyes some way and then blow it out and the other is to say You craaazy when some one makes a remark thats over her head It fascinates me I sit there hour after hour completely intrigued by the maniacal symptoms she finds in my imagination
Maury stirred in his chair and spoke
Remarkable that a person can comprehend so little and yet live in such a complex civilization A woman like that actually takes the whole universe in the most matteroffact way From the influence of Rousseau to the bearing of the tariff rates on her dinner the whole phenomenon is utterly strange to her Shes just been carried along from an age of spearheads and plunked down here with the equipment of an archer for going into a pistol duel You could sweep away the entire crust of history and shed never know the difference
I wish our Richard would write about her
Anthony surely you dont think shes worth writing about
As much as anybody he answered yawning You know I was thinking today that I have a great confidence in Dick So long as he sticks to people and not to ideas and as long as his inspirations come from life and not from art and always granting a normal growth I believe hell be a big man
I should think the appearance of the black notebook would prove that hes going to life
Anthony raised himself on his elbow and answered eagerly
He tries to go to life So does every author except the very worst but after all most of them live on predigested food The incident or character may be from life but the writer usually interprets it in terms of the last book he read For instance suppose he meets a sea captain and thinks hes an original character The truth is that he sees the resemblance between the sea captain and the last sea captain Dana created or whoever creates sea captains and therefore he knows how to set this sea captain on paper Dick of course can set down any consciously picturesque characterlike character but could he accurately transcribe his own sister
Then they were off for half an hour on literature
A classic suggested Anthony is a successful book that has survived the reaction of the next period or generation Then its safe like a style in architecture or furniture Its acquired a picturesque dignity to take the place of its fashion…
After a time the subject temporarily lost its tang The interest of the two young men was not particularly technical They were in love with generalities Anthony had recently discovered Samuel Butler and the brisk aphorisms in the notebook seemed to him the quintessence of criticism Maury his whole mind so thoroughly mellowed by the very hardness of his scheme of life seemed inevitably the wiser of the two yet in the actual stuff of their intelligences they were not it seemed fundamentally different
They drifted from letters to the curiosities of each others day
Whose tea was it
People named Abercrombie
Whyd you stay late Meet a luscious débutante
Yes
Did you really Anthonys voice lifted in surprise
Not a débutante exactly Said she came out two winters ago in Kansas
City
Sort of leftover
No answered Maury with some amusement I think thats the last thing
Id say about her She seemed—well somehow the youngest person there
Not too young to make you miss a train
Young enough Beautiful child
Anthony chuckled in his onesyllable snort
Oh Maury youre in your second childhood What do you mean by beautiful
Maury gazed helplessly into space
Well I cant describe her exactly—except to say that she was beautiful She was—tremendously alive She was eating gumdrops
What
It was a sort of attenuated vice Shes a nervous kind—said she always ate gumdrops at teas because she had to stand around so long in one place
Whatd you talk about—Bergson Bilphism Whether the onestep is immoral
Maury was unruffled his fur seemed to run all ways
As a matter of fact we did talk on Bilphism Seems her mothers a
Bilphist Mostly though we talked about legs
Anthony rocked in glee
My God Whose legs
Hers She talked a lot about hers As though they were a sort of choice bricàbrac She aroused a great desire to see them
What is she—a dancer
No I found she was a cousin of Dicks
Anthony sat upright so suddenly that the pillow he released stood on end like a live thing and dove to the floor
Names Gloria Gilbert he cried
Yes Isnt she remarkable
Im sure I dont know—but for sheer dulness her father—
Well interrupted Maury with implacable conviction her family may be as sad as professional mourners but Im inclined to think that shes a quite authentic and original character The outer signs of the cutanddried Yale prom girl and all that—but different very emphatically different
Go on go on urged Anthony Soon as Dick told me she didnt have a brain in her head I knew she must be pretty good
Did he say that
Swore to it said Anthony with another snorting laugh
Well what he means by brains in a woman is—
I know interrupted Anthony eagerly he means a smattering of literary misinformation
Thats it The kind who believes that the annual moral letdown of the country is a very good thing or the kind who believes its a very ominous thing Either pincenez or postures Well this girl talked about legs She talked about skin too—her own skin Always her own She told me the sort of tan shed like to get in the summer and how closely she usually approximated it
You sat enraptured by her low alto
By her low alto No by tan I began thinking about tan I began to think what color I turned when I made my last exposure about two years ago I did use to get a pretty good tan I used to get a sort of bronze if I remember rightly
Anthony retired into the cushions shaken with laughter
Shes got you going—oh Maury Maury the Connecticut lifesaver The human nutmeg Extra Heiress elopes with coastguard because of his luscious pigmentation Afterward found to be Tasmanian strain in his family
Maury sighed rising he walked to the window and raised the shade
Snowing hard
Anthony still laughing quietly to himself made no answer
Another winter Maurys voice from the window was almost a whisper Were growing old Anthony Im twentyseven by God Three years to thirty and then Im what an undergraduate calls a middleaged man
Anthony was silent for a moment
You are old Maury he agreed at length The first signs of a very dissolute and wabbly senescence—you have spent the afternoon talking about tan and a ladys legs
Maury pulled down the shade with a sudden harsh snap
Idiot he cried that from you Here I sit young Anthony as Ill sit for a generation or more and watch such gay souls as you and Dick and Gloria Gilbert go past me dancing and singing and loving and hating one another and being moved being eternally moved And I am moved only by my lack of emotion I shall sit and the snow will come—oh for a Caramel to take notes—and another winter and I shall be thirty and you and Dick and Gloria will go on being eternally moved and dancing by me and singing But after youve all gone Ill be saying things for new Dicks to write down and listening to the disillusions and cynicisms and emotions of new Anthonys—yes and talking to new Glorias about the tans of summers yet to come
The firelight flurried up on the hearth Maury left the window stirred the blaze with a poker and dropped a log upon the andirons Then he sat back in his chair and the remnants of his voice faded in the new fire that spit red and yellow along the bark
After all Anthony its you who are very romantic and young Its you who are infinitely more susceptible and afraid of your calm being broken Its me who tries again and again to be moved—let myself go a thousand times and Im always me Nothing—quite—stirs me
Yet he murmured after another long pause there was something about that little girl with her absurd tan that was eternally old—like me
TURBULENCE
Anthony turned over sleepily in his bed greeting a patch of cold sun on his counterpane crisscrossed with the shadows of the leaded window The room was full of morning The carved chest in the corner the ancient and inscrutable wardrobe stood about the room like dark symbols of the obliviousness of matter only the rug was beckoning and perishable to his perishable feet and Bounds horribly inappropriate in his soft collar was of stuff as fading as the gauze of frozen breath he uttered He was close to the bed his hand still lowered where he had been jerking at the upper blanket his darkbrown eyes fixed imperturbably upon his master
Bows muttered the drowsy god Thachew Bows
Its I sir
Anthony moved his head forced his eyes wide and blinked triumphantly
Bounds
Yes sir
Can you get off—yeowowohohoh God— Anthony yawned insufferably and the contents of his brain seemed to fall together in a dense hash He made a fresh start
Can you come around about four and serve some tea and sandwiches or something
Yes sir
Anthony considered with chilling lack of inspiration Some sandwiches he repeated helplessly oh some cheese sandwiches and jelly ones and chicken and olive I guess Never mind breakfast
The strain of invention was too much He shut his eyes wearily let his head roll to rest inertly and quickly relaxed what he had regained of muscular control Out of a crevice of his mind crept the vague but inevitable spectre of the night before—but it proved in this case to be nothing but a seemingly interminable conversation with Richard Caramel who had called on him at midnight they had drunk four bottles of beer and munched dry crusts of bread while Anthony listened to a reading of the first part of The Demon Lover
—Came a voice now after many hours Anthony disregarded it as sleep closed over him folded down upon him crept up into the byways of his mind
Suddenly he was awake saying What
For how many sir It was still Bounds standing patient and motionless at the foot of the bed—Bounds who divided his manner among three gentlemen
How many what
I think sir Id better know how many are coming Ill have to plan for the sandwiches sir
Two muttered Anthony huskily lady and a gentleman
Bounds said Thank you sir and moved away bearing with him his humiliating reproachful soft collar reproachful to each of the three gentlemen who only demanded of him a third
After a long time Anthony arose and drew an opalescent dressing grown of brown and blue over his slim pleasant figure With a last yawn he went into the bathroom and turning on the dresser light the bathroom had no outside exposure he contemplated himself in the mirror with some interest A wretched apparition he thought he usually thought so in the morning—sleep made his face unnaturally pale He lit a cigarette and glanced through several letters and the morning Tribune
An hour later shaven and dressed he was sitting at his desk looking at a small piece of paper he had taken out of his wallet It was scrawled with semilegible memoranda See Mr Howland at five Get haircut See about Rivers bill Go bookstore
—And under the last Cash in bank 690 crossed out 612 crossed out 607
Finally down at the bottom and in a hurried scrawl Dick and Gloria
Gilbert for tea
This last item brought him obvious satisfaction His day usually a jellylike creature a shapeless spineless thing had attained Mesozoic structure It was marching along surely even jauntily toward a climax as a play should as a day should He dreaded the moment when the backbone of the day should be broken when he should have met the girl at last talked to her and then bowed her laughter out the door returning only to the melancholy dregs in the teacups and the gathering staleness of the uneaten sandwiches
There was a growing lack of color in Anthonys days He felt it constantly and sometimes traced it to a talk he had had with Maury Noble a month before That anything so ingenuous so priggish as a sense of waste should oppress him was absurd but there was no denying the fact that some unwelcome survival of a fetish had drawn him three weeks before down to the public library where by the token of Richard Caramels card he had drawn out half a dozen books on the Italian Renaissance That these books were still piled on his desk in the original order of carriage that they were daily increasing his liabilities by twelve cents was no mitigation of their testimony They were cloth and morocco witnesses to the fact of his defection Anthony had had several hours of acute and startling panic
In justification of his manner of living there was first of course The Meaninglessness of Life As aides and ministers pages and squires butlers and lackeys to this great Khan there were a thousand books glowing on his shelves there was his apartment and all the money that was to be his when the old man up the river should choke on his last morality From a world fraught with the menace of débutantes and the stupidity of many Geraldines he was thankfully delivered—rather should he emulate the feline immobility of Maury and wear proudly the culminative wisdom of the numbered generations
Over and against these things was something which his brain persistently analyzed and dealt with as a tiresome complex but which though logically disposed of and bravely trampled under foot had sent him out through the soft slush of late November to a library which had none of the books he most wanted It is fair to analyze Anthony as far as he could analyze himself further than that it is of course presumption He found in himself a growing horror and loneliness The idea of eating alone frightened him in preference he dined often with men he detested Travel which had once charmed him seemed at length unendurable a business of color without substance a phantom chase after his own dreams shadow
—If I am essentially weak he thought I need work to do work to do It worried him to think that he was after all a facile mediocrity with neither the poise of Maury nor the enthusiasm of Dick It seemed a tragedy to want nothing—and yet he wanted something something He knew in flashes what it was—some path of hope to lead him toward what he thought was an imminent and ominous old age
After cocktails and luncheon at the University Club Anthony felt better He had run into two men from his class at Harvard and in contrast to the gray heaviness of their conversation his life assumed color Both of them were married one spent his coffee time in sketching an extranuptial adventure to the bland and appreciative smiles of the other Both of them he thought were Mr Gilberts in embryo the number of their yess would have to be quadrupled their natures crabbed by twenty years—then they would be no more than obsolete and broken machines pseudowise and valueless nursed to an utter senility by the women they had broken
Ah he was more than that as he paced the long carpet in the lounge after dinner pausing at the window to look into the harried street He was Anthony Patch brilliant magnetic the heir of many years and many men This was his world now—and that last strong irony he craved lay in the offing
With a stray boyishness he saw himself a power upon the earth with his grandfathers money he might build his own pedestal and be a Talleyrand a Lord Verulam The clarity of his mind its sophistication its versatile intelligence all at their maturity and dominated by some purpose yet to be born would find him work to do On this minor his dream faded—work to do he tried to imagine himself in Congress rooting around in the litter of that incredible pigsty with the narrow and porcine brows he saw pictured sometimes in the rotogravure sections of the Sunday newspapers those glorified proletarians babbling blandly to the nation the ideas of high school seniors Little men with copybook ambitions who by mediocrity had thought to emerge from mediocrity into the lustreless and unromantic heaven of a government by the people—and the best the dozen shrewd men at the top egotistic and cynical were content to lead this choir of white ties and wire collarbuttons in a discordant and amazing hymn compounded of a vague confusion between wealth as a reward of virtue and wealth as a proof of vice and continued cheers for God the Constitution and the Rocky Mountains
Lord Verulam Talleyrand
Back in his apartment the grayness returned His cocktails had died making him sleepy somewhat befogged and inclined to be surly Lord Verulam—he The very thought was bitter Anthony Patch with no record of achievement without courage without strength to be satisfied with truth when it was given him Oh he was a pretentious fool making careers out of cocktails and meanwhile regretting weakly and secretly the collapse of an insufficient and wretched idealism He had garnished his soul in the subtlest taste and now he longed for the old rubbish He was empty it seemed empty as an old bottle—
The buzzer rang at the door Anthony sprang up and lifted the tube to his ear It was Richard Caramels voice stilted and facetious
Announcing Miss Gloria Gilbert
How do you do he said smiling and holding the door ajar
Dick bowed
Gloria this is Anthony
Well she cried holding out a little gloved hand Under her fur coat her dress was Aliceblue with white lace crinkled stiffly about her throat
Let me take your things
Anthony stretched out his arms and the brown mass of fur tumbled into them
Thanks
What do you think of her Anthony Richard Caramel demanded barbarously Isnt she beautiful
Well cried the girl defiantly—withal unmoved
She was dazzling—alight it was agony to comprehend her beauty in a glance Her hair full of a heavenly glamour was gay against the winter color of the room
Anthony moved about magicianlike turning the mushroom lamp into an orange glory The stirred fire burnished the copper andirons on the hearth—
Im a solid block of ice murmured Gloria casually glancing around with eyes whose irises were of the most delicate and transparent bluish white What a slick fire We found a place where you could stand on an ironbar grating sort of and it blew warm air up at you—but Dick wouldnt wait there with me I told him to go on alone and let me be happy
Conventional enough this She seemed talking for her own pleasure without effort Anthony sitting at one end of the sofa examined her profile against the foreground of the lamp the exquisite regularity of nose and upper lip the chin faintly decided balanced beautifully on a rather short neck On a photograph she must have been completely classical almost cold—but the glow of her hair and cheeks at once flushed and fragile made her the most living person he had ever seen
… Think youve got the best name Ive heard she was saying still apparently to herself her glance rested on him a moment and then flitted past him—to the Italian bracketlamps clinging like luminous yellow turtles at intervals along the walls to the books row upon row then to her cousin on the other side Anthony Patch Only you ought to look sort of like a horse with a long narrow face—and you ought to be in tatters
Thats all the Patch part though How should Anthony look
You look like Anthony she assured him seriously—he thought she had scarcely seen him—rather majestic she continued and solemn
Anthony indulged in a disconcerted smile
Only I like alliterative names she went on all except mine Mines too flamboyant I used to know two girls named Jinks though and just think if theyd been named anything except what they were named—Judy Jinks and Jerry Jinks Cute what Dont you think Her childish mouth was parted awaiting a rejoinder
Everybody in the next generation suggested Dick will be named Peter or Barbara—because at present all the piquant literary characters are named Peter or Barbara
Anthony continued the prophecy
Of course Gladys and Eleanor having graced the last generation of heroines and being at present in their social prime will be passed on to the next generation of shopgirls—
Displacing Ella and Stella interrupted Dick
And Pearl and Jewel Gloria added cordially and Earl and Elmer and
Minnie
And then Ill come along remarked Dick and picking up the obsolete name Jewel Ill attach it to some quaint and attractive character and itll start its career all over again
Her voice took up the thread of subject and wove along with faintly upturning halfhumorous intonations for sentence ends—as though defying interruption—and intervals of shadowy laughter Dick had told her that Anthonys man was named Bounds—she thought that was wonderful Dick had made some sad pun about Bounds doing patchwork but if there was one thing worse than a pun she said it was a person who as the inevitable comeback to a pun gave the perpetrator a mockreproachful look
Where are you from inquired Anthony He knew but beauty had rendered him thoughtless
Kansas City Missouri
They put her out the same time they barred cigarettes
Did they bar cigarettes I see the hand of my holy grandfather
Hes a reformer or something isnt he
I blush for him
So do I she confessed I detest reformers especially the sort who try to reform me
Are there many of those
Dozens Its Oh Gloria if you smoke so many cigarettes youll lose your pretty complexion and Oh Gloria why dont you marry and settle down
Anthony agreed emphatically while he wondered who had had the temerity to speak thus to such a personage
And then she continued there are all the subtle reformers who tell you the wild stories theyve heard about you and how theyve been sticking up for you
He saw at length that her eyes were gray very level and cool and when they rested on him he understood what Maury had meant by saying she was very young and very old She talked always about herself as a very charming child might talk and her comments on her tastes and distastes were unaffected and spontaneous
I must confess said Anthony gravely that even Ive heard one thing about you
Alert at once she sat up straight Those eyes with the grayness and eternity of a cliff of soft granite caught his
Tell me Ill believe it I always believe anything any one tells me about myself—dont you
Invariably agreed the two men in unison
Well tell me
Im not sure that I ought to teased Anthony smiling unwillingly She was so obviously interested in a state of almost laughable selfabsorption
He means your nickname said her cousin
What name inquired Anthony politely puzzled
Instantly she was shy—then she laughed rolled back against the cushions and turned her eyes up as she spoke
CoasttoCoast Gloria Her voice was full of laughter laughter undefined as the varying shadows playing between fire and lamp upon her hair O Lord
Still Anthony was puzzled
What do you mean
Me I mean Thats what some silly boys coined for me
Dont you see Anthony explained Dick traveller of a nationwide notoriety and all that Isnt that what youve heard Shes been called that for years—since she was seventeen
Anthonys eyes became sad and humorous
Whos this female Methuselah youve brought in here Caramel
She disregarded this possibly rather resented it for she switched back to the main topic
What have you heard of me
Something about your physique
Oh she said coolly disappointed that all
Your tan
My tan She was puzzled Her hand rose to her throat rested there an instant as though the fingers were feeling variants of color
Do you remember Maury Noble Man you met about a month ago You made a great impression
She thought a moment
I remember—but he didnt call me up
He was afraid to I dont doubt
It was black dark without now and Anthony wondered that his apartment had ever seemed gray—so warm and friendly were the books and pictures on the walls and the good Bounds offering tea from a respectful shadow and the three nice people giving out waves of interest and laughter back and forth across the happy fire
DISSATISFACTION
On Thursday afternoon Gloria and Anthony had tea together in the grill room at the Plaza Her furtrimmed suit was gray—because with gray you have to wear a lot of paint she explained—and a small toque sat rakishly on her head allowing yellow ripples of hair to wave out in jaunty glory In the higher light it seemed to Anthony that her personality was infinitely softer—she seemed so young scarcely eighteen her form under the tight sheath known then as a hobbleskirt was amazingly supple and slender and her hands neither artistic nor stubby were small as a childs hands should be
As they entered the orchestra were sounding the preliminary whimpers to a maxixe a tune full of castanets and facile faintly languorous violin harmonies appropriate to the crowded winter grill teeming with an excited college crowd highspirited at the approach of the holidays Carefully Gloria considered several locations and rather to Anthonys annoyance paraded him circuitously to a table for two at the far side of the room Reaching it she again considered Would she sit on the right or on the left Her beautiful eyes and lips were very grave as she made her choice and Anthony thought again how naïve was her every gesture she took all the things of life for hers to choose from and apportion as though she were continually picking out presents for herself from an inexhaustible counter
Abstractedly she watched the dancers for a few moments commenting murmurously as a couple eddied near
Theres a pretty girl in blue—and as Anthony looked obediently— there No behind you—there
Yes he agreed helplessly
You didnt see her
Id rather look at you
I know but she was pretty Except that she had big ankles
Was she—I mean did she he said indifferently
A girls salutation came from a couple dancing close to them
Hello Gloria O Gloria
Hello there
Whos that he demanded
I dont know Somebody She caught sight of another face Hello Muriel Then to Anthony Theres Muriel Kane Now I think shes attractive cept not very
Anthony chuckled appreciatively
Attractive cept not very he repeated
She smiled—was interested immediately
Why is that funny Her tone was pathetically intent
It just was
Do you want to dance
Do you
Sort of But lets sit she decided
And talk about you You love to talk about you dont you
Yes Caught in a vanity she laughed
I imagine your autobiography would be a classic
Dick says I havent got one
Dick he exclaimed What does he know about you
Nothing But he says the biography of every woman begins with the first kiss that counts and ends when her last child is laid in her arms
Hes talking from his book
He says unloved women have no biographies—they have histories
Anthony laughed again
Surely you dont claim to be unloved
Well I suppose not
Then why havent you a biography Havent you ever had a kiss that counted As the words left his lips he drew in his breath sharply as though to suck them back This baby
I dont know what you mean counts she objected
I wish youd tell me how old you are
Twentytwo she said meeting his eyes gravely How old did you think
About eighteen
Im going to start being that I dont like being twentytwo I hate it more than anything in the world
Being twentytwo
No Getting old and everything Getting married
Dont you ever want to marry
I dont want to have responsibility and a lot of children to take care of
Evidently she did not doubt that on her lips all things were good He waited rather breathlessly for her next remark expecting it to follow up her last She was smiling without amusement but pleasantly and after an interval half a dozen words fell into the space between them
I wish I had some gumdrops
You shall He beckoned to a waiter and sent him to the cigar counter
Dyou mind I love gumdrops Everybody kids me about it because Im always whacking away at one—whenever my daddys not around
Not at all—Who are all these children he asked suddenly Do you know them all
Why—no but theyre from—oh from everywhere I suppose Dont you ever come here
Very seldom I dont care particularly for nice girls
Immediately he had her attention She turned a definite shoulder to the dancers relaxed in her chair and demanded
What do you do with yourself
Thanks to a cocktail Anthony welcomed the question In a mood to talk he wanted moreover to impress this girl whose interest seemed so tantalizingly elusive—she stopped to browse in unexpected pastures hurried quickly over the inobviously obvious He wanted to pose He wanted to appear suddenly to her in novel and heroic colors He wanted to stir her from that casualness she showed toward everything except herself
I do nothing he began realizing simultaneously that his words were to lack the debonair grace he craved for them I do nothing for theres nothing I can do thats worth doing
Well He had neither surprised her nor even held her yet she had certainly understood him if indeed he had said aught worth understanding
Dont you approve of lazy men
She nodded
I suppose so if theyre gracefully lazy Is that possible for an
American
Why not he demanded discomfited
But her mind had left the subject and wandered up ten floors
My daddys mad at me she observed dispassionately
Why But I want to know just why its impossible for an American to be gracefully idle—his words gathered conviction—it astonishes me It—it—I dont understand why people think that every young man ought to go downtown and work ten hours a day for the best twenty years of his life at dull unimaginative work certainly not altruistic work
He broke off She watched him inscrutably He waited for her to agree or disagree but she did neither
Dont you ever form judgments on things he asked with some exasperation
She shook her head and her eyes wandered back to the dancers as she answered
I dont know I dont know anything about—what you should do or what anybody should do
She confused him and hindered the flow of his ideas Selfexpression had never seemed at once so desirable and so impossible
Well he admitted apologetically neither do I of course but—
I just think of people she continued whether they seem right where they are and fit into the picture I dont mind if they dont do anything I dont see why they should in fact it always astonishes me when anybody does anything
You dont want to do anything
I want to sleep
For a second he was startled almost as though she had meant this literally
Sleep
Sort of I want to just be lazy and I want some of the people around me to be doing things because that makes me feel comfortable and safe—and I want some of them to be doing nothing at all because they can be graceful and companionable for me But I never want to change people or get excited over them
Youre a quaint little determinist laughed Anthony Its your world isnt it
Well— she said with a quick upward glance isnt it As long as
Im—young
She had paused slightly before the last word and Anthony suspected that she had started to say beautiful It was undeniably what she had intended
Her eyes brightened and he waited for her to enlarge on the theme He had drawn her out at any rate—he bent forward slightly to catch the words
But Lets dance was all she said
That winter afternoon at the Plaza was the first of a succession of dates Anthony made with her in the blurred and stimulating days before Christmas Invariably she was busy What particular strata of the citys social life claimed her he was a long time finding out It seemed to matter very little She attended the semipublic charity dances at the big hotels he saw her several times at dinner parties in Sherrys and once as he waited for her to dress Mrs Gilbert apropos of her daughters habit of going rattled off an amazing holiday programme that included half a dozen dances to which Anthony had received cards
He made engagements with her several times for lunch and tea—the former were hurried and to him at least rather unsatisfactory occasions for she was sleepyeyed and casual incapable of concentrating upon anything or of giving consecutive attention to his remarks When after two of these sallow meals he accused her of tendering him the skin and bones of the day she laughed and gave him a teatime three days off This was infinitely more satisfactory
One Sunday afternoon just before Christmas he called up and found her in the lull directly after some important but mysterious quarrel she informed him in a tone of mingled wrath and amusement that she had sent a man out of her apartment—here Anthony speculated violently—and that the man had been giving a little dinner for her that very night and that of course she wasnt going So Anthony took her to supper
Lets go to something she proposed as they went down in the elevator
I want to see a show dont you
Inquiry at the hotel ticket desk disclosed only two Sunday night concerts
Theyre always the same she complained unhappily same old Yiddish comedians Oh lets go somewhere
To conceal a guilty suspicion that he should have arranged a performance of some kind for her approval Anthony affected a knowing cheerfulness
Well go to a good cabaret
Ive seen every one in town
Well well find a new one
She was in wretched humor that was evident Her gray eyes were granite now indeed When she wasnt speaking she stared straight in front of her as if at some distasteful abstraction in the lobby
Well come on then
He followed her a graceful girl even in her enveloping fur out to a taxicab and with an air of having a definite place in mind instructed the driver to go over to Broadway and then turn south He made several casual attempts at conversation but as she adopted an impenetrable armor of silence and answered him in sentences as morose as the cold darkness of the taxicab he gave up and assuming a like mood fell into a dim gloom
A dozen blocks down Broadway Anthonys eyes were caught by a large and unfamiliar electric sign spelling Marathon in glorious yellow script adorned with electrical leaves and flowers that alternately vanished and beamed upon the wet and glistening street He leaned and rapped on the taxiwindow and in a moment was receiving information from a colored doorman Yes this was a cabaret Fine cabaret Bes showina city
Shall we try it
With a sigh Gloria tossed her cigarette out the open door and prepared to follow it then they had passed under the screaming sign under the wide portal and up by a stuffy elevator into this unsung palace of pleasure
The gay habitats of the very rich and the very poor the very dashing and the very criminal not to mention the lately exploited very Bohemian are made known to the awed high school girls of Augusta Georgia and Redwing Minnesota not only through the bepictured and entrancing spreads of the Sunday theatrical supplements but through the shocked and alarmful eyes of Mr Rupert Hughes and other chroniclers of the mad pace of America But the excursions of Harlem onto Broadway the deviltries of the dull and the revelries of the respectable are a matter of esoteric knowledge only to the participants themselves
A tip circulates—and in the place knowingly mentioned gather the lower moralclasses on Saturday and Sunday nights—the little troubled men who are pictured in the comics as the Consumer or the Public They have made sure that the place has three qualifications it is cheap it imitates with a sort of shoddy and mechanical wistfulness the glittering antics of the great cafes in the theatre district and—this above all important—it is a place where they can take a nice girl which means of course that every one has become equally harmless timid and uninteresting through lack of money and imagination
There on Sunday nights gather the credulous sentimental underpaid overworked people with hyphenated occupations bookkeepers ticketsellers officemanagers salesmen and most of all clerks—clerks of the express of the mail of the grocery of the brokerage of the bank With them are their giggling overgestured pathetically pretentious women who grow fat with them bear them too many babies and float helpless and uncontent in a colorless sea of drudgery and broken hopes
They name these brummagem cabarets after Pullman cars The Marathon Not for them the salacious similes borrowed from the cafés of Paris This is where their docile patrons bring their nice women whose starved fancies are only too willing to believe that the scene is comparatively gay and joyous and even faintly immoral This is life Who cares for the morrow
Abandoned people
Anthony and Gloria seated looked about them At the next table a party of four were in process of being joined by a party of three two men and a girl who were evidently late—and the manner of the girl was a study in national sociology She was meeting some new men—and she was pretending desperately By gesture she was pretending and by words and by the scarcely perceptible motionings of her eyelids that she belonged to a class a little superior to the class with which she now had to do that a while ago she had been and presently would again be in a higher rarer air She was almost painfully refined—she wore a last years hat covered with violets no more yearningly pretentious and palpably artificial than herself
Fascinated Anthony and Gloria watched the girl sit down and radiate the impression that she was only condescendingly present For me her eyes said this is practically a slumming expedition to be cloaked with belittling laughter and semiapologetics
—And the other women passionately poured out the impression that though they were in the crowd they were not of it This was not the sort of place to which they were accustomed they had dropped in because it was near by and convenient—every party in the restaurant poured out that impression … who knew They were forever changing class all of them—the women often marrying above their opportunities the men striking suddenly a magnificent opulence a sufficiently preposterous advertising scheme a celestialized ice cream cone Meanwhile they met here to eat closing their eyes to the economy displayed in infrequent changings of tablecloths in the casualness of the cabaret performers most of all in the colloquial carelessness and familiarity of the waiters One was sure that these waiters were not impressed by their patrons One expected that presently they would sit at the tables …
Do you object to this inquired Anthony
Glorias face warmed and for the first time that evening she smiled
I love it she said frankly It was impossible to doubt her Her gray eyes roved here and there drowsing idle or alert on each group passing to the next with unconcealed enjoyment and to Anthony were made plain the different values of her profile the wonderfully alive expressions of her mouth and the authentic distinction of face and form and manner that made her like a single flower amidst a collection of cheap bricàbrac At her happiness a gorgeous sentiment welled into his eyes choked him up set his nerves atingle and filled his throat with husky and vibrant emotion There was a hush upon the room The careless violins and saxophones the shrill rasping complaint of a child near by the voice of the violethatted girl at the next table all moved slowly out receded and fell away like shadowy reflections on the shining floor—and they two it seemed to him were alone and infinitely remote quiet Surely the freshness of her cheeks was a gossamer projection from a land of delicate and undiscovered shades her hand gleaming on the stained tablecloth was a shell from some far and wildly virginal sea…
Then the illusion snapped like a nest of threads the room grouped itself around him voices faces movement the garish shimmer of the lights overhead became real became portentous breath began the slow respiration that she and he took in time with this docile hundred the rise and fall of bosoms the eternal meaningless play and interplay and tossing and reiterating of word and phrase—all these wrenched his senses open to the suffocating pressure of life—and then her voice came at him cool as the suspended dream he had left behind
I belong here she murmured Im like these people
For an instant this seemed a sardonic and unnecessary paradox hurled at him across the impassable distances she created about herself Her entrancement had increased—her eyes rested upon a Semitic violinist who swayed his shoulders to the rhythm of the years mellowest foxtrot
Something—goes
Ringatingalingaling
Right inyour ear—
Again she spoke from the centre of this pervasive illusion of her own
It amazed him It was like blasphemy from the mouth of a child
Im like they are—like Japanese lanterns and crape paper and the music of that orchestra
Youre a young idiot he insisted wildly She shook her blond head
No Im not I am like them… You ought to see… You dont know me She hesitated and her eyes came back to him rested abruptly on his as though surprised at the last to see him there Ive got a streak of what youd call cheapness I dont know where I get it but its—oh things like this and bright colors and gaudy vulgarity I seem to belong here These people could appreciate me and take me for granted and these men would fall in love with me and admire me whereas the clever men I meet would just analyze me and tell me Im this because of this or that because of that
—Anthony for the moment wanted fiercely to paint her to set her down now as she was as as with each relentless second she could never be again
What were you thinking she asked
Just that Im not a realist he said and then No only the romanticist preserves the things worth preserving
Out of the deep sophistication of Anthony an understanding formed nothing atavistic or obscure indeed scarcely physical at all an understanding remembered from the romancings of many generations of minds that as she talked and caught his eyes and turned her lovely head she moved him as he had never been moved before The sheath that held her soul had assumed significance—that was all She was a sun radiant growing gathering light and storing it—then after an eternity pouring it forth in a glance the fragment of a sentence to that part of him that cherished all beauty and all illusion
CHAPTER III
THE CONNOISSEUR OF KISSES
From his undergraduate days as editor of The Harvard Crimson Richard Caramel had desired to write But as a senior he had picked up the glorified illusion that certain men were set aside for service and going into the world were to accomplish a vague yearnful something which would react either in eternal reward or at the least in the personal satisfaction of having striven for the greatest good of the greatest number
This spirit has long rocked the colleges in America It begins as a rule during the immaturities and facile impressions of freshman year—sometimes back in preparatory school Prosperous apostles known for their emotional acting go the rounds of the universities and by frightening the amiable sheep and dulling the quickening of interest and intellectual curiosity which is the purpose of all education distil a mysterious conviction of sin harking back to childhood crimes and to the everpresent menace of women To these lectures go the wicked youths to cheer and joke and the timid to swallow the tasty pills which would be harmless if administered to farmers wives and pious drugclerks but are rather dangerous medicine for these future leaders of men
This octopus was strong enough to wind a sinuous tentacle about Richard Caramel The year after his graduation it called him into the slums of New York to muck about with bewildered Italians as secretary to an Alien Young Mens Rescue Association He labored at it over a year before the monotony began to weary him The aliens kept coming inexhaustibly—Italians Poles Scandinavians Czechs Armenians—with the same wrongs the same exceptionally ugly faces and very much the same smells though he fancied that these grew more profuse and diverse as the months passed His eventual conclusions about the expediency of service were vague but concerning his own relation to it they were abrupt and decisive Any amiable young man his head ringing with the latest crusade could accomplish as much as he could with the débris of Europe—and it was time for him to write
He had been living in a downtown YMCA but when he quit the task of making sowear purses out of sows ears he moved uptown and went to work immediately as a reporter for The Sun He kept at this for a year doing desultory writing on the side with little success and then one day an infelicitous incident peremptorily closed his newspaper career On a February afternoon he was assigned to report a parade of Squadron A Snow threatening he went to sleep instead before a hot fire and when he woke up did a smooth column about the muffled beats of the horses hoofs in the snow… This he handed in Next morning a marked copy of the paper was sent down to the City Editor with a scrawled note Fire the man who wrote this It seemed that Squadron A had also seen the snow threatening—had postponed the parade until another day
A week later he had begun The Demon Lover…
In January the Monday of the months Richard Caramels nose was blue constantly a sardonic blue vaguely suggestive of the flames licking around a sinner His book was nearly ready and as it grew in completeness it seemed to grow also in its demands sapping him overpowering him until he walked haggard and conquered in its shadow Not only to Anthony and Maury did he pour out his hopes and boasts and indecisions but to any one who could be prevailed upon to listen He called on polite but bewildered publishers he discussed it with his casual visàvis at the Harvard Club it was even claimed by Anthony that he had been discovered one Sunday night debating the transposition of Chapter Two with a literary ticketcollector in the chill and dismal recesses of a Harlem subway station And latest among his confidantes was Mrs Gilbert who sat with him by the hour and alternated between Bilphism and literature in an intense crossfire
Shakespeare was a Bilphist she assured him through a fixed smile
Oh yes He was a Bilphist Its been proved
At this Dick would look a bit blank
If youve read Hamlet you cant help but see
Well he—he lived in a more credulous age—a more religious age
But she demanded the whole loaf
Oh yes but you see Bilphism isnt a religion Its the science of all religions She smiled defiantly at him This was the bon mot of her belief There was something in the arrangement of words which grasped her mind so definitely that the statement became superior to any obligation to define itself. It is not unlikely that she would have accepted any idea encased in this radiant formula—which was perhaps not a formula it was the reductio ad absurdum of all formulas
Then eventually but gorgeously would come Dicks turn
Youve heard of the new poetry movement You havent Well its a lot of young poets that are breaking away from the old forms and doing a lot of good Well what I was going to say was that my book is going to start a new prose movement a sort of renaissance
Im sure it will beamed Mrs Gilbert Im sure it will I went to Jenny Martin last Tuesday the palmist you know that every ones mad about I told her my nephew was engaged upon a work and she said she knew Id be glad to hear that his success would be extraordinary But shed never seen you or known anything about you—not even your name
Having made the proper noises to express his amazement at this astounding phenomenon Dick waved her theme by him as though he were an arbitrary traffic policeman and so to speak beckoned forward his own traffic
Im absorbed Aunt Catherine he assured her I really am All my friends are joshing me—oh I see the humor in it and I dont care I think a person ought to be able to take joshing But Ive got a sort of conviction he concluded gloomily
Youre an ancient soul I always say
Maybe I am Dick had reached the stage where he no longer fought but submitted He must be an ancient soul he fancied grotesquely so old as to be absolutely rotten However the reiteration of the phrase still somewhat embarrassed him and sent uncomfortable shivers up his back He changed the subject
Where is my distinguished cousin Gloria
Shes on the go somewhere with some one
Dick paused considered and then screwing up his face into what was evidently begun as a smile but ended as a terrifying frown delivered a comment
I think my friend Anthony Patch is in love with her
Mrs Gilbert started beamed half a second too late and breathed her
Really in the tone of a detective playwhisper
I think so corrected Dick gravely Shes the first girl Ive ever seen him with so much
Well of course said Mrs Gilbert with meticulous carelessness
Gloria never makes me her confidante Shes very secretive Between you
and me—she bent forward cautiously obviously determined that only
Heaven and her nephew should share her confession—between you and me
Id like to see her settle down
Dick arose and paced the floor earnestly a small active already rotund young man his hands thrust unnaturally into his bulging pockets
Im not claiming Im right mind you he assured the infinitelyofthehotel steelengraving which smirked respectably back at him Im saying nothing that Id want Gloria to know But I think Mad Anthony is interested—tremendously so He talks about her constantly In any one else thatd be a bad sign
Gloria is a very young soul— began Mrs Gilbert eagerly but her nephew interrupted with a hurried sentence
Gloriad be a very young nut not to marry him He stopped and faced her his expression a battle map of lines and dimples squeezed and strained to its ultimate show of intensity—this as if to make up by his sincerity for any indiscretion in his words Glorias a wild one Aunt Catherine Shes uncontrollable How shes done it I dont know but lately shes picked up a lot of the funniest friends She doesnt seem to care And the men she used to go with around New York were— He paused for breath
Yesyesyes interjected Mrs Gilbert with an anaemic attempt to hide the immense interest with which she listened
Well continued Richard Caramel gravely there it is I mean that the men she went with and the people she went with used to be first rate Now they arent
Mrs Gilbert blinked very fast—her bosom trembled inflated remained so for an instant and with the exhalation her words flowed out in a torrent
She knew she cried in a whisper oh yes mothers see these things But what could she do He knew Gloria Hed seen enough of Gloria to know how hopeless it was to try to deal with her Gloria had been so spoiled—in a rather complete and unusual way She had been suckled until she was three for instance when she could probably have chewed sticks Perhaps—one never knew—it was this that had given that health and hardiness to her whole personality And then ever since she was twelve years old shed had boys about her so thick—oh so thick one couldnt move At sixteen she began going to dances at preparatory schools and then came the colleges and everywhere she went boys boys boys At first oh until she was eighteen there had been so many that it never seemed one any more than the others but then she began to single them out
She knew there had been a string of affairs spread over about three years perhaps a dozen of them altogether Sometimes the men were undergraduates sometimes just out of college—they lasted on an average of several months each with short attractions in between Once or twice they had endured longer and her mother had hoped she would be engaged but always a new one came—a new one—
The men Oh she made them miserable literally There was only one who had kept any sort of dignity and he had been a mere child young Carter Kirby of Kansas City who was so conceited anyway that he just sailed out on his vanity one afternoon and left for Europe next day with his father The others had been—wretched They never seemed to know when she was tired of them and Gloria had seldom been deliberately unkind They would keep phoning writing letters to her trying to see her making long trips after her around the country Some of them had confided in Mrs Gilbert told her with tears in their eyes that they would never get over Gloria … at least two of them had since married though… But Gloria it seemed struck to kill—to this day Mr Carstairs called up once a week and sent her flowers which she no longer bothered to refuse
Several times twice at least Mrs Gilbert knew it had gone as far as a private engagement—with Tudor Baird and that Holcome boy at Pasadena She was sure it had because—this must go no further—she had come in unexpectedly and found Gloria acting well very much engaged indeed She had not spoken to her daughter of course She had had a certain sense of delicacy and besides each time she had expected an announcement in a few weeks But the announcement never came instead a new man came
Scenes Young men walking up and down the library like caged tigers Young men glaring at each other in the hall as one came and the other left Young men calling up on the telephone and being hung up upon in desperation Young men threatening South America … Young men writing the most pathetic letters She said nothing to this effect but Dick fancied that Mrs Gilberts eyes had seen some of these letters
… And Gloria between tears and laughter sorry glad out of love and in love miserable nervous cool amidst a great returning of presents substitution of pictures in immemorial frames and taking of hot baths and beginning again—with the next
That state of things continued assumed an air of permanency Nothing harmed Gloria or changed her or moved her And then out of a clear sky one day she informed her mother that undergraduates wearied her She was absolutely going to no more college dances
This had begun the change—not so much in her actual habits for she danced and had as many dates as ever—but they were dates in a different spirit Previously it had been a sort of pride a matter of her own vainglory She had been probably the most celebrated and soughtafter young beauty in the country Gloria Gilbert of Kansas City She had fed on it ruthlessly—enjoying the crowds around her the manner in which the most desirable men singled her out enjoying the fierce jealousy of other girls enjoying the fabulous not to say scandalous and her mother was glad to say entirely unfounded rumors about her—for instance that she had gone in the Yale swimmingpool one night in a chiffon evening dress
And from loving it with a vanity that was almost masculine—it had been in the nature of a triumphant and dazzling career—she became suddenly anaesthetic to it She retired She who had dominated countless parties who had blown fragrantly through many ballrooms to the tender tribute of many eyes seemed to care no longer He who fell in love with her now was dismissed utterly almost angrily She went listlessly with the most indifferent men She continually broke engagements not as in the past from a cool assurance that she was irreproachable that the man she insulted would return like a domestic animal—but indifferently without contempt or pride She rarely stormed at men any more—she yawned at them She seemed—and it was so strange—she seemed to her mother to be growing cold
Richard Caramel listened At first he had remained standing but as his aunts discourse waxed in content—it stands here pruned by half of all side references to the youth of Glorias soul and to Mrs Gilberts own mental distresses—he drew a chair up and attended rigorously as she floated between tears and plaintive helplessness down the long story of Glorias life When she came to the tale of this last year a tale of the ends of cigarettes left all over New York in little trays marked Midnight Frolic and Justine Johnsons Little Club he began nodding his head slowly then faster and faster until as she finished on a staccato note it was bobbing briskly up and down absurdly like a dolls wired head expressing—almost anything
In a sense Glorias past was an old story to him He had followed it with the eyes of a journalist for he was going to write a book about her some day But his interests just at present were family interests He wanted to know in particular who was this Joseph Bloeckman that he had seen her with several times and those two girls she was with constantly this Rachael Jerryl and this Miss Kane—surely Miss Kane wasnt exactly the sort one would associate with Gloria
But the moment had passed Mrs Gilbert having climbed the hill of exposition was about to glide swiftly down the skijump of collapse Her eyes were like a blue sky seen through two round red windowcasements The flesh about her mouth was trembling
And at the moment the door opened admitting into the room Gloria and the two young ladies lately mentioned
TWO YOUNG WOMEN
Well
How do you do Mrs Gilbert
Miss Kane and Miss Jerryl are presented to Mr Richard Caramel This is
Dick laughter
Ive heard so much about you says Miss Kane between a giggle and a shout
How do you do says Miss Jerryl shyly
Richard Caramel tries to move about as if his figure were better He is torn between his innate cordiality and the fact that he considers these girls rather common—not at all the Farmover type
Gloria has disappeared into the bedroom
Do sit down beams Mrs Gilbert who is by now quite herself Take off your things Dick is afraid she will make some remark about the age of his soul but he forgets his qualms in completing a conscientious novelists examination of the two young women
Muriel Kane had originated in a rising family of East Orange She was short rather than small and hovered audaciously between plumpness and width Her hair was black and elaborately arranged This in conjunction with her handsome rather bovine eyes and her overred lips combined to make her resemble Theda Bara the prominent motion picture actress People told her constantly that she was a vampire and she believed them She suspected hopefully that they were afraid of her and she did her utmost under all circumstances to give the impression of danger An imaginative man could see the red flag that she constantly carried waving it wildly beseechingly—and alas to little spectacular avail She was also tremendously timely she knew the latest songs all the latest songs—when one of them was played on the phonograph she would rise to her feet and rock her shoulders back and forth and snap her fingers and if there was no music she would accompany herself by humming
Her conversation was also timely I dont care she would say I should worry and lose my figure—and again I cant make my feet behave when I hear that tune Oh baby
Her fingernails were too long and ornate polished to a pink and unnatural fever Her clothes were too tight too stylish too vivid her eyes too roguish her smile too coy She was almost pitifully overemphasized from head to foot
The other girl was obviously a more subtle personality She was an exquisitely dressed Jewess with dark hair and a lovely milky pallor She seemed shy and vague and these two qualities accentuated a rather delicate charm that floated about her Her family were Episcopalians owned three smart womens shops along Fifth Avenue and lived in a magnificent apartment on Riverside Drive It seemed to Dick after a few moments that she was attempting to imitate Gloria—he wondered that people invariably chose inimitable people to imitate
We had the most hectic time Muriel was exclaiming enthusiastically There was a crazy woman behind us on the bus She was absitively posolutely nutty She kept talking to herself about something shed like to do to somebody or something I was _pet_rified but Gloria simply wouldnt get off
Mrs Gilbert opened her mouth properly awed
Really
Oh she was crazy But we should worry she didnt hurt us Ugly Gracious The man across from us said her face ought to be on a nightnurse in a home for the blind and we all howled naturally so the man tried to pick us up
Presently Gloria emerged from her bedroom and in unison every eye turned on her The two girls receded into a shadowy background unperceived unmissed
Weve been talking about you said Dick quickly —your mother and
I
Well said Gloria
A pause—Muriel turned to Dick
Youre a great writer arent you
Im a writer he confessed sheepishly
I always say said Muriel earnestly that if I ever had time to write down all my experiences itd make a wonderful book
Rachael giggled sympathetically Richard Caramels bow was almost stately Muriel continued
But I dont see how you can sit down and do it And poetry Lordy I cant make two lines rhyme Well I should worry
Richard Caramel with difficulty restrained a shout of laughter Gloria was chewing an amazing gumdrop and staring moodily out the window Mrs Gilbert cleared her throat and beamed
But you see she said in a sort of universal exposition youre not an ancient soul—like Richard
The Ancient Soul breathed a gasp of relief—it was out at last
Then as if she had been considering it for five minutes Gloria made a sudden announcement
Im going to give a party
Oh can I come cried Muriel with facetious daring
A dinner Seven people Muriel and Rachael and I and you Dick and
Anthony and that man named Noble—I liked him—and Bloeckman
Muriel and Rachael went into soft and purring ecstasies of enthusiasm Mrs Gilbert blinked and beamed With an air of casualness Dick broke in with a question
Who is this fellow Bloeckman Gloria
Scenting a faint hostility Gloria turned to him
Joseph Bloeckman Hes the moving picture man Vicepresident of Films
Par Excellence He and father do a lot of business
Oh
Well will you all come
They would all come A date was arranged within the week Dick rose adjusted hat coat and muffler and gave out a general smile
Byby said Muriel waving her hand gaily call me up some time
Richard Caramel blushed for her
DEPLORABLE END OF THE CHEVALIER OKEEFE
It was Monday and Anthony took Geraldine Burke to luncheon at the Beaux Arts—afterward they went up to his apartment and he wheeled out the little rollingtable that held his supply of liquor selecting vermouth gin and absinthe for a proper stimulant
Geraldine Burke usher at Keiths had been an amusement of several months She demanded so little that he liked her for since a lamentable affair with a débutante the preceding summer when he had discovered that after half a dozen kisses a proposal was expected he had been wary of girls of his own class It was only too easy to turn a critical eye on their imperfections some physical harshness or a general lack of personal delicacy—but a girl who was usher at Keiths was approached with a different attitude One could tolerate qualities in an intimate valet that would be unforgivable in a mere acquaintance on ones social level
Geraldine curled up at the foot of the lounge considered him with narrow slanting eyes
You drink all the time dont you she said suddenly
Why I suppose so replied Anthony in some surprise Dont you
Nope I go on parties sometimes—you know about once a week but I only take two or three drinks You and your friends keep on drinking all the time I should think youd ruin your health
Anthony was somewhat touched
Why arent you sweet to worry about me
Well I do
I dont drink so very much he declared Last month I didnt touch a drop for three weeks And I only get really tight about once a week
But you have something to drink every day and youre only twentyfive
Havent you any ambition Think what youll be at forty
I sincerely trust that I wont live that long
She clicked her tongue with her teeth
You craazy she said as he mixed another cocktail—and then Are you any relation to Adam Patch
Yes hes my grandfather
Really She was obviously thrilled
Absolutely
Thats funny My daddy used to work for him
Hes a queer old man
Is he nice she demanded
Well in private life hes seldom unnecessarily disagreeable
Tell us about him
Why Anthony considered —hes all shrunken up and hes got the remains of some gray hair that always looks as though the wind were in it Hes very moral
Hes done a lot of good said Geraldine with intense gravity
Rot scoffed Anthony Hes a pious ass—a chickenbrain
Her mind left the subject and flitted on
Why dont you live with him
Why dont I board in a Methodist parsonage
You craazy
Again she made a little clicking sound to express disapproval Anthony thought how moral was this little waif at heart—how completely moral she would still be after the inevitable wave came that would wash her off the sands of respectability
Do you hate him
I wonder I never liked him You never like people who do things for you
Does he hate you
My dear Geraldine protested Anthony frowning humorously do have another cocktail I annoy him If I smoke a cigarette he comes into the room sniffing Hes a prig a bore and something of a hypocrite I probably wouldnt be telling you this if I hadnt had a few drinks but I dont suppose it matters
Geraldine was persistently interested She held her glass untasted between finger and thumb and regarded him with eyes in which there was a touch of awe
How do you mean a hypocrite
Well said Anthony impatiently maybe hes not But he doesnt like the things that I like and so as far as Im concerned hes uninteresting
Hm Her curiosity seemed at length satisfied She sank back into the sofa and sipped her cocktail
Youre a funny one she commented thoughtfully Does everybody want to marry you because your grandfather is rich
They dont—but I shouldnt blame them if they did Still you see I never intend to marry
She scorned this
Youll fall in love someday Oh you will—I know She nodded wisely
Itd be idiotic to be overconfident Thats what ruined the Chevalier
OKeefe
Who was he
A creature of my splendid mind Hes my one creation the Chevalier
Craaazy she murmured pleasantly using the clumsy rope ladder with which she bridged all gaps and climbed after her mental superiors Subconsciously she felt that it eliminated distances and brought the person whose imagination had eluded her back within range
Oh no objected Anthony oh no Geraldine You mustnt play the alienist upon the Chevalier If you feel yourself unable to understand him I wont bring him in Besides I should feel a certain uneasiness because of his regrettable reputation
I guess I can understand anything thats got any sense to it answered
Geraldine a bit testily
In that case there are various episodes in the life of the Chevalier which might prove diverting
Well
It was his untimely end that caused me to think of him and made him apropos in the conversation I hate to introduce him end foremost but it seems inevitable that the Chevalier must back into your life
Well what about him Did he die
He did In this manner He was an Irishman Geraldine a semifictional Irishman—the wild sort with a genteel brogue and reddish hair He was exiled from Erin in the late days of chivalry and of course crossed over to France Now the Chevalier OKeefe Geraldine had like me one weakness He was enormously susceptible to all sorts and conditions of women Besides being a sentimentalist he was a romantic a vain fellow a man of wild passions a little blind in one eye and almost stoneblind in the other Now a male roaming the world in this condition is as helpless as a lion without teeth and in consequence the Chevalier was made utterly miserable for twenty years by a series of women who hated him used him bored him aggravated him sickened him spent his money made a fool of him—in brief as the world has it loved him
This was bad Geraldine and as the Chevalier save for this one weakness this exceeding susceptibility was a man of penetration he decided that he would rescue himself once and for all from these drains upon him With this purpose he went to a very famous monastery in Champagne called—well anachronistically known as St Voltaires It was the rule at St Voltaires that no monk could descend to the ground story of the monastery so long as he lived but should exist engaged in prayer and contemplation in one of the four towers which were called after the four commandments of the monastery rule Poverty Chastity Obedience and Silence
When the day came that was to witness the Chevaliers farewell to the world he was utterly happy He gave all his Greek books to his landlady and his sword he sent in a golden sheath to the King of France and all his mementos of Ireland he gave to the young Huguenot who sold fish in the street where he lived
Then he rode out to St Voltaires slew his horse at the door and presented the carcass to the monastery cook
At five oclock that night he felt for the first time free—forever free from sex No woman could enter the monastery no monk could descend below the second story So as he climbed the winding stair that led to his cell at the very top of the Tower of Chastity he paused for a moment by an open window which looked down fifty feet on to a road below It was all so beautiful he thought this world that he was leaving the golden shower of sun beating down upon the long fields the spray of trees in the distance the vineyards quiet and green freshening wide miles before him He leaned his elbows on the window casement and gazed at the winding road
Now as it happened Thérèse a peasant girl of sixteen from a neighboring village was at that moment passing along this same road that ran in front of the monastery Five minutes before the little piece of ribbon which held up the stocking on her pretty left leg had worn through and broken Being a girl of rare modesty she had thought to wait until she arrived home before repairing it but it had bothered her to such an extent that she felt she could endure it no longer So as she passed the Tower of Chastity she stopped and with a pretty gesture lifted her skirt—as little as possible be it said to her credit—to adjust her garter
Up in the tower the newest arrival in the ancient monastery of St Voltaire as though pulled forward by a gigantic and irresistible hand leaned from the window Further he leaned and further until suddenly one of the stones loosened under his weight broke from its cement with a soft powdery sound—and first headlong then head over heels finally in a vast and impressive revolution tumbled the Chevalier OKeefe bound for the hard earth and eternal damnation
Thérèse was so much upset by the occurrence that she ran all the way home and for ten years spent an hour a day in secret prayer for the soul of the monk whose neck and vows were simultaneously broken on that unfortunate Sunday afternoon
And the Chevalier OKeefe being suspected of suicide was not buried in consecrated ground but tumbled into a field near by where he doubtless improved the quality of the soil for many years afterward Such was the untimely end of a very brave and gallant gentleman What do you think Geraldine
But Geraldine lost long before could only smile roguishly wave her first finger at him and repeat her bridgeall her explainall
Crazy she said you craaazy
His thin face was kindly she thought and his eyes quite gentle She liked him because he was arrogant without being conceited and because unlike the men she met about the theatre he had a horror of being conspicuous What an odd pointless story But she had enjoyed the part about the stocking
After the fifth cocktail he kissed her and between laughter and bantering caresses and a halfstifled flare of passion they passed an hour At fourthirty she claimed an engagement and going into the bathroom she rearranged her hair Refusing to let him order her a taxi she stood for a moment in the doorway
You will get married she was insisting you wait and see
Anthony was playing with an ancient tennis ball and he bounced it carefully on the floor several times before he answered with a soupçon of acidity
Youre a little idiot Geraldine
She smiled provokingly
Oh I am am I Want to bet
Thatd be silly too
Oh it would would it Well Ill just bet youll marry somebody inside of a year
Anthony bounced the tennis ball very hard This was one of his handsome days she thought a sort of intensity had displaced the melancholy in his dark eyes
Geraldine he said at length in the first place I have no one I want to marry in the second place I havent enough money to support two people in the third place I am entirely opposed to marriage for people of my type in the fourth place I have a strong distaste for even the abstract consideration of it
But Geraldine only narrowed her eyes knowingly made her clicking sound and said she must be going It was late
Call me up soon she reminded him as he kissed her goodbye you havent for three weeks you know
I will he promised fervently
He shut the door and coming back into the room stood for a moment lost in thought with the tennis ball still clasped in his hand There was one of his lonelinesses coming one of those times when he walked the streets or sat aimless and depressed biting a pencil at his desk It was a selfabsorption with no comfort a demand for expression with no outlet a sense of time rushing by ceaselessly and wastefully—assuaged only by that conviction that there was nothing to waste because all efforts and attainments were equally valueless
He thought with emotion—aloud ejaculative for he was hurt and confused
No idea of getting married by God
Of a sudden he hurled the tennis ball violently across the room where it barely missed the lamp and rebounding here and there for a moment lay still upon the floor
SIGNLIGHT AND MOONLIGHT
For her dinner Gloria had taken a table in the Cascades at the Biltmore and when the men met in the hall outside a little after eight that person Bloeckman was the target of six masculine eyes He was a stoutening ruddy Jew of about thirtyfive with an expressive face under smooth sandy hair—and no doubt in most business gatherings his personality would have been considered ingratiating He sauntered up to the three younger men who stood in a group smoking as they waited for their hostess and introduced himself with a little too evident assurance—nevertheless it is to be doubted whether he received the intended impression of faint and ironic chill there was no hint of understanding in his manner
You related to Adam J Patch he inquired of Anthony emitting two slender strings of smoke from nostrils overwide
Anthony admitted it with the ghost of a smile
Hes a fine man pronounced Bloeckman profoundly Hes a fine example of an American
Yes agreed Anthony he certainly is
—I detest these underdone men he thought coldly Boiled looking Ought to be shoved back in the oven just one more minute would do it
Bloeckman squinted at his watch
Time these girls were showing up …
—Anthony waited breathlessly it came—
… but then with a widening smile you know how women are
The three young men nodded Bloeckman looked casually about him his eyes resting critically on the ceiling and then passing lower His expression combined that of a Middle Western farmer appraising his wheat crop and that of an actor wondering whether he is observed—the public manner of all good Americans As he finished his survey he turned back quickly to the reticent trio determined to strike to their very heart and core
You college men … Harvard eh I see the Princeton boys beat you fellows in hockey
Unfortunate man He had drawn another blank They had been three years out and heeded only the big football games Whether after the failure of this sally Mr Bloeckman would have perceived himself to be in a cynical atmosphere is problematical for—
Gloria arrived Muriel arrived Rachael arrived After a hurried Hello people uttered by Gloria and echoed by the other two the three swept by into the dressing room
A moment later Muriel appeared in a state of elaborate undress and crept toward them She was in her element her ebony hair was slicked straight back on her head her eyes were artificially darkened she reeked of insistent perfume She was got up to the best of her ability as a siren more popularly a vamp—a picker up and thrower away of men an unscrupulous and fundamentally unmoved toyer with affections Something in the exhaustiveness of her attempt fascinated Maury at first sight—a woman with wide hips affecting a pantherlike litheness As they waited the extra three minutes for Gloria and by polite assumption for Rachael he was unable to take his eyes from her She would turn her head away lowering her eyelashes and biting her nether lip in an amazing exhibition of coyness She would rest her hands on her hips and sway from side to side in tune to the music saying
Did you ever hear such perfect ragtime I just cant make my shoulders behave when I hear that
Mr Bloeckman clapped his hands gallantly
You ought to be on the stage
Id like to be cried Muriel will you back me
I sure will
With becoming modesty Muriel ceased her motions and turned to Maury asking what he had seen this year He interpreted this as referring to the dramatic world and they had a gay and exhilarating exchange of titles after this manner
MURIEL Have you seen Peg o My Heart
MAURY No I havent
MURIEL Eagerly Its wonderful You want to see it
MAURY Have you seen Omar the Tentmaker
MURIEL No but I hear its wonderful Im very anxious to see it Have you seen Fair and Warmer
MAURY Hopefully Yes
MURIEL I dont think its very good Its trashy
MAURY Faintly Yes thats true
MURIEL But I went to Within the Law last night and I thought it was fine Have you seen The Little Cafe…
This continued until they ran out of plays Dick meanwhile turned to Mr Bloeckman determined to extract what gold he could from this unpromising load
I hear all the new novels are sold to the moving pictures as soon as they come out
Thats true Of course the main thing in a moving picture is a strong story
Yes I suppose so
So many novels are all full of talk and psychology Of course those arent as valuable to us Its impossible to make much of that interesting on the screen
You want plots first said Richard brilliantly
Of course Plots first— He paused shifted his gaze His pause spread included the others with all the authority of a warning finger Gloria followed by Rachael was coming out of the dressing room
Among other things it developed during dinner that Joseph Bloeckman never danced but spent the music time watching the others with the bored tolerance of an elder among children He was a dignified man and a proud one Born in Munich he had begun his American career as a peanut vender with a travelling circus At eighteen he was a side show ballyhoo later the manager of the side show and soon after the proprietor of a secondclass vaudeville house Just when the moving picture had passed out of the stage of a curiosity and become a promising industry he was an ambitious young man of twentysix with some money to invest nagging financial ambitions and a good working knowledge of the popular show business That had been nine years before The moving picture industry had borne him up with it where it threw off dozens of men with more financial ability more imagination and more practical ideas…and now he sat here and contemplated the immortal Gloria for whom young Stuart Holcome had gone from New York to Pasadena—watched her and knew that presently she would cease dancing and come back to sit on his left hand
He hoped she would hurry The oysters had been standing some minutes
Meanwhile Anthony who had been placed on Glorias left hand was dancing with her always in a certain fourth of the floor This had there been stags would have been a delicate tribute to the girl meaning Damn you dont cut in It was very consciously intimate
Well he began looking down at her you look mighty sweet tonight
She met his eyes over the horizontal half foot that separated them
Thank you—Anthony
In fact youre uncomfortably beautiful he added There was no smile this time
And youre very charming
Isnt this nice he laughed We actually approve of each other
Dont you usually She had caught quickly at his remark as she always did at any unexplained allusion to herself however faint
He lowered his voice and when he spoke there was in it no more than a wisp of badinage
Does a priest approve the Pope
I dont know—but thats probably the vaguest compliment I ever received
Perhaps I can muster a few bromides
Well I wouldnt have you strain yourself Look at Muriel Right here next to us
He glanced over his shoulder Muriel was resting her brilliant cheek against the lapel of Maury Nobles dinner coat and her powdered left arm was apparently twisted around his head One was impelled to wonder why she failed to seize the nape of his neck with her hand Her eyes turned ceilingward rolled largely back and forth her hips swayed and as she danced she kept up a constant low singing This at first seemed to be a translation of the song into some foreign tongue but became eventually apparent as an attempt to fill out the metre of the song with the only words she knew—the words of the title—
Hes a ragpicker
A ragpicker
A ragtime picking man
Ragpicking picking pick pick
Ragpick pick pick
—and so on into phrases still more strange and barbaric When she caught the amused glances of Anthony and Gloria she acknowledged them only with a faint smile and a halfclosing of her eyes to indicate that the music entering into her soul had put her into an ecstatic and exceedingly seductive trance
The music ended and they returned to their table whose solitary but dignified occupant arose and tendered each of them a smile so ingratiating that it was as if he were shaking their hands and congratulating them on a brilliant performance
Blockhead never will dance I think he has a wooden leg remarked Gloria to the table at large The three young men started and the gentleman referred to winced perceptibly
This was the one rough spot in the course of Bloeckmans acquaintance with Gloria She relentlessly punned on his name First it had been Blockhouse lately the more invidious Blockhead He had requested with a strong undertone of irony that she use his first name and this she had done obediently several times—then slipping helpless repentant but dissolved in laughter back into Blockhead
It was a very sad and thoughtless thing
Im afraid Mr Bloeckman thinks were a frivolous crowd sighed
Muriel waving a balanced oyster in his direction
He has that air murmured Rachael Anthony tried to remember whether she had said anything before He thought not It was her initial remark
Mr Bloeckman suddenly cleared his throat and said in a loud distinct voice
On the contrary When a man speaks hes merely tradition He has at best a few thousand years back of him But woman why she is the miraculous mouthpiece of posterity
In the stunned pause that followed this astounding remark Anthony choked suddenly on an oyster and hurried his napkin to his face Rachael and Muriel raised a mild if somewhat surprised laugh in which Dick and Maury joined both of them red in the face and restraining uproariousness with the most apparent difficulty
—My God thought Anthony Its a subtitle from one of his movies
The mans memorized it
Gloria alone made no sound She fixed Mr Bloeckman with a glance of silent reproach
Well for the love of Heaven Where on earth did you dig that up
Bloeckman looked at her uncertainly not sure of her intention But in a moment he recovered his poise and assumed the bland and consciously tolerant smile of an intellectual among spoiled and callow youth
The soup came up from the kitchen—but simultaneously the orchestra leader came up from the bar where he had absorbed the tone color inherent in a seidel of beer So the soup was left to cool during the delivery of a ballad entitled Everythings at Home Except Your Wife
Then the champagne—and the party assumed more amusing proportions The men except Richard Caramel drank freely Gloria and Muriel sipped a glass apiece Rachael Jerryl took none They sat out the waltzes but danced to everything else—all except Gloria who seemed to tire after a while and preferred to sit smoking at the table her eyes now lazy now eager according to whether she listened to Bloeckman or watched a pretty woman among the dancers Several times Anthony wondered what Bloeckman was telling her He was chewing a cigar back and forth in his mouth and had expanded after dinner to the extent of violent gestures
Ten oclock found Gloria and Anthony beginning a dance Just as they were out of earshot of the table she said in a low voice
Dance over by the door I want to go down to the drugstore
Obediently Anthony guided her through the crowd in the designated direction in the hall she left him for a moment to reappear with a cloak over her arm
I want some gumdrops she said humorously apologetic you cant guess what for this time Its just that I want to bite my fingernails and I will if I dont get some gumdrops She sighed and resumed as they stepped into the empty elevator Ive been biting em all day A bit nervous you see Excuse the pun It was unintentional—the words just arranged themselves Gloria Gilbert the female wag
Reaching the ground floor they naïvely avoided the hotel candy counter descended the wide front staircase and walking through several corridors found a drugstore in the Grand Central Station After an intense examination of the perfume counter she made her purchase Then on some mutual unmentioned impulse they strolled arm in arm not in the direction from which they had come but out into Fortythird Street
The night was alive with thaw it was so nearly warm that a breeze drifting low along the sidewalk brought to Anthony a vision of an unhopedfor hyacinthine spring Above in the blue oblong of sky around them in the caress of the drifting air the illusion of a new season carried relief from the stiff and breathedover atmosphere they had left and for a hushed moment the traffic sounds and the murmur of water flowing in the gutters seemed an illusive and rarefied prolongation of that music to which they had lately danced When Anthony spoke it was with surety that his words came from something breathless and desirous that the night had conceived in their two hearts
Lets take a taxi and ride around a bit he suggested without looking at her
Oh Gloria Gloria
A cab yawned at the curb As it moved off like a boat on a labyrinthine ocean and lost itself among the inchoate night masses of the great buildings among the now stilled now strident cries and clangings Anthony put his arm around the girl drew her over to him and kissed her damp childish mouth
She was silent She turned her face up to him pale under the wisps and patches of light that trailed in like moonshine through a foliage Her eyes were gleaming ripples in the white lake of her face the shadows of her hair bordered the brow with a persuasive unintimate dusk No love was there surely nor the imprint of any love Her beauty was cool as this damp breeze as the moist softness of her own lips
Youre such a swan in this light he whispered after a moment There were silences as murmurous as sound There were pauses that seemed about to shatter and were only to be snatched back to oblivion by the tightening of his arms about her and the sense that she was resting there as a caught gossamer feather drifted in out of the dark Anthony laughed noiselessly and exultantly turning his face up and away from her half in an overpowering rush of triumph half lest her sight of him should spoil the splendid immobility of her expression Such a kiss—it was a flower held against the face never to be described scarcely to be remembered as though her beauty were giving off emanations of itself which settled transiently and already dissolving upon his heart
… The buildings fell away in melted shadows this was the Park now and after a long while the great white ghost of the Metropolitan Museum moved majestically past echoing sonorously to the rush of the cab
Why Gloria Why Gloria
Her eyes appeared to regard him out of many thousand years all emotion she might have felt all words she might have uttered would have seemed inadequate beside the adequacy of her silence ineloquent against the eloquence of her beauty—and of her body close to him slender and cool
Tell him to turn around she murmured and drive pretty fast going back…
Up in the supper room the air was hot The table littered with napkins and ashtrays was old and stale It was between dances as they entered and Muriel Kane looked up with roguishness extraordinary
Well where have you been
To call up mother answered Gloria coolly I promised her I would
Did we miss a dance
Then followed an incident that though slight in itself Anthony had cause to reflect on many years afterward Joseph Bloeckman leaning well back in his chair fixed him with a peculiar glance in which several emotions were curiously and inextricably mingled He did not greet Gloria except by rising and he immediately resumed a conversation with Richard Caramel about the influence of literature on the moving pictures
MAGIC
The stark and unexpected miracle of a night fades out with the lingering death of the last stars and the premature birth of the first newsboys The flame retreats to some remote and platonic fire the white heat has gone from the iron and the glow from the coal
Along the shelves of Anthonys library filling a wall amply crept a chill and insolent pencil of sunlight touching with frigid disapproval Thérèse of France and Ann the Superwoman Jenny of the Orient Ballet and Zuleika the Conjurer—and Hoosier Cora—then down a shelf and into the years resting pityingly on the overinvoked shades of Helen Thaïs Salome and Cleopatra
Anthony shaved and bathed sat in his most deeply cushioned chair and watched it until at the steady rising of the sun it lay glinting for a moment on the silk ends of the rug—and went out
It was ten oclock The Sunday Times scattered about his feet proclaimed by rotogravure and editorial by social revelation and sporting sheet that the world had been tremendously engrossed during the past week in the business of moving toward some splendid if somewhat indeterminate goal For his part Anthony had been once to his grandfathers twice to his brokers and three times to his tailors—and in the last hour of the weeks last day he had kissed a very beautiful and charming girl
When he reached home his imagination had been teeming with high pitched unfamiliar dreams There was suddenly no question on his mind no eternal problem for a solution and resolution He had experienced an emotion that was neither mental nor physical nor merely a mixture of the two and the love of life absorbed him for the present to the exclusion of all else He was content to let the experiment remain isolated and unique Almost impersonally he was convinced that no woman he had ever met compared in any way with Gloria She was deeply herself she was immeasurably sincere—of these things he was certain Beside her the two dozen schoolgirls and debutantes young married women and waifs and strays whom he had known were so many females in the words most contemptuous sense breeders and bearers exuding still that faintly odorous atmosphere of the cave and the nursery
So far as he could see she had neither submitted to any will of his nor caressed his vanity—except as her pleasure in his company was a caress Indeed he had no reason for thinking she had given him aught that she did not give to others This was as it should be The idea of an entanglement growing out of the evening was as remote as it would have been repugnant And she had disclaimed and buried the incident with a decisive untruth Here were two young people with fancy enough to distinguish a game from its reality—who by the very casualness with which they met and passed on would proclaim themselves unharmed
Having decided this he went to the phone and called up the Plaza Hotel
Gloria was out Her mother knew neither where she had gone nor when she would return
It was somehow at this point that the first wrongness in the case asserted itself There was an element of callousness almost of indecency in Glorias absence from home He suspected that by going out she had intrigued him into a disadvantage Returning she would find his name and smile Most discreetly He should have waited a few hours in order to drive home the utter inconsequence with which he regarded the incident What an asinine blunder She would think he considered himself particularly favored She would think he was reacting with the most inept intimacy to a quite trivial episode
He remembered that during the previous month his janitor to whom he had delivered a rather muddled lecture on the brotherhoove man had come up next day and on the basis of what had happened the night before seated himself in the window seat for a cordial and chatty halfhour Anthony wondered in horror if Gloria would regard him as he had regarded that man Him—Anthony Patch Horror
It never occurred to him that he was a passive thing acted upon by an influence above and beyond Gloria that he was merely the sensitive plate on which the photograph was made Some gargantuan photographer had focussed the camera on Gloria and snap—the poor plate could but develop confined like all things to its nature
But Anthony lying upon his couch and staring at the orange lamp passed his thin fingers incessantly through his dark hair and made new symbols for the hours She was in a shop now it seemed moving lithely among the velvets and the furs her own dress making as she walked a debonair rustle in that world of silken rustles and cool soprano laughter and scents of many slain but living flowers The Minnies and Pearls and jewels and jennies would gather round her like courtiers bearing wispy frailties of Georgette crepe delicate chiffon to echo her cheeks in faint pastel milky lace to rest in pale disarray against her neck—damask was used but to cover priests and divans in these days and cloth of Samarand was remembered only by the romantic poets
She would go elsewhere after a while tilting her head a hundred ways under a hundred bonnets seeking in vain for mock cherries to match her lips or plumes that were graceful as her own supple body
Noon would come—she would hurry along Fifth Avenue a Nordic Ganymede her fur coat swinging fashionably with her steps her cheeks redder by a stroke of the winds brush her breath a delightful mist upon the bracing air—and the doors of the Ritz would revolve the crowd would divide fifty masculine eyes would start stare as she gave back forgotten dreams to the husbands of many obese and comic women
One oclock With her fork she would tantalize the heart of an adoring artichoke while her escort served himself up in the thick dripping sentences of an enraptured man
Four oclock her little feet moving to melody her face distinct in the crowd her partner happy as a petted puppy and mad as the immemorial hatter… Then—then night would come drifting down and perhaps another damp The signs would spill their light into the street Who knew No wiser than he they haply sought to recapture that picture done in cream and shadow they had seen on the hushed Avenue the night before And they might ah they might A thousand taxis would yawn at a thousand corners and only to him was that kiss forever lost and done In a thousand guises Thaïs would hail a cab and turn up her face for loving And her pallor would be virginal and lovely and her kiss chaste as the moon…
He sprang excitedly to his feet How inappropriate that she should be out He had realized at last what he wanted—to kiss her again to find rest in her great immobility She was the end of all restlessness all malcontent
Anthony dressed and went out as he should have done long before and down to Richard Caramels room to hear the last revision of the last chapter of The Demon Lover He did not call Gloria again until six He did not find her in until eight and—oh climax of anticlimaxes—she could give him no engagement until Tuesday afternoon A broken piece of guttapercha clattered to the floor as he banged up the phone
BLACK MAGIC
Tuesday was freezing cold He called at a bleak two oclock and as they shook hands he wondered confusedly whether he had ever kissed her it was almost unbelievable—he seriously doubted if she remembered it
I called you four times on Sunday he told her
Did you
There was surprise in her voice and interest in her expression Silently he cursed himself for having told her He might have known her pride did not deal in such petty triumphs Even then he had not guessed at the truth—that never having had to worry about men she had seldom used the wary subterfuges the playings out and haulings in that were the stock in trade of her sisterhood When she liked a man that was trick enough Did she think she loved him—there was an ultimate and fatal thrust Her charm endlessly preserved itself
I was anxious to see you he said simply I want to talk to you—I mean really talk somewhere where we can be alone May I
What do you mean
He swallowed a sudden lump of panic He felt that she knew what he wanted
I mean not at a tea table he said
Well all right but not today I want to get some exercise Lets walk
It was bitter and raw All the evil hate in the mad heart of February was wrought into the forlorn and icy wind that cut its way cruelly across Central Park and down along Fifth Avenue It was almost impossible to talk and discomfort made him distracted so much so that he turned at Sixtyfirst Street to find that she was no longer beside him He looked around She was forty feet in the rear standing motionless her face half hidden in her fur coat collar moved either by anger or laughter—he could not determine which He started back
Dont let me interrupt your walk she called
Im mighty sorry he answered in confusion Did I go too fast
Im cold she announced I want to go home And you walk too fast
Im very sorry
Side by side they started for the Plaza He wished he could see her face
Men dont usually get so absorbed in themselves when theyre with me
Im sorry
Thats very interesting
It is rather too cold to walk he said briskly to hide his annoyance
She made no answer and he wondered if she would dismiss him at the hotel entrance She walked in without speaking however and to the elevator throwing him a single remark as she entered it
Youd better come up
He hesitated for the fraction of a moment
Perhaps Id better call some other time
Just as you say Her words were murmured as an aside The main concern of life was the adjusting of some stray wisps of hair in the elevator mirror Her cheeks were brilliant her eyes sparkled—she had never seemed so lovely so exquisitely to be desired
Despising himself he found that he was walking down the tenthfloor corridor a subservient foot behind her was in the sitting room while she disappeared to shed her furs Something had gone wrong—in his own eyes he had lost a shred of dignity in an unpremeditated yet significant encounter he had been completely defeated
However by the time she reappeared in the sittingroom he had explained himself to himself with sophistic satisfaction After all he had done the strongest thing he thought He had wanted to come up he had come Yet what happened later on that afternoon must be traced to the indignity he had experienced in the elevator the girl was worrying him intolerably so much so that when she came out he involuntarily drifted into criticism
Whos this Bloeckman Gloria
A business friend of fathers
Odd sort of fellow
He doesnt like you either she said with a sudden smile
Anthony laughed
Im flattered at his notice He evidently considers me a— He broke off with Is he in love with you
I dont know
The deuce you dont he insisted Of course he is I remember the look he gave me when we got back to the table Hed probably have had me quietly assaulted by a delegation of movie supes if you hadnt invented that phone call
He didnt mind I told him afterward what really happened
You told him
He asked me
I dont like that very well he remonstrated
She laughed again
Oh you dont
What business is it of his
None Thats why I told him
Anthony in a turmoil bit savagely at his mouth
Why should I lie she demanded directly Im not ashamed of anything I do It happened to interest him to know that I kissed you and I happened to be in a good humor so I satisfied his curiosity by a simple and precise yes Being rather a sensible man after his fashion he dropped the subject
Except to say that he hated me
Oh it worries you Well if you must probe this stupendous matter to its depths he didnt say he hated you I simply know he does
It doesnt wor——
Oh lets drop it she cried spiritedly Its a most uninteresting matter to me
With a tremendous effort Anthony made his acquiescence a twist of subject and they drifted into an ancient questionandanswer game concerned with each others pasts gradually warming as they discovered the ageold immemorial resemblances in tastes and ideas They said things that were more revealing than they intended—but each pretended to accept the other at face or rather word value
The growth of intimacy is like that First one gives off his best picture the bright and finished product mended with bluff and falsehood and humor Then more details are required and one paints a second portrait and a third—before long the best lines cancel out—and the secret is exposed at last the planes of the pictures have intermingled and given us away and though we paint and paint we can no longer sell a picture We must be satisfied with hoping that such fatuous accounts of ourselves as we make to our wives and children and business associates are accepted as true
It seems to me Anthony was saying earnestly that the position of a man with neither necessity nor ambition is unfortunate Heaven knows itd be pathetic of me to be sorry for myself—yet sometimes I envy Dick
Her silence was encouragement It was as near as she ever came to an intentional lure
—And there used to be dignified occupations for a gentleman who had leisure things a little more constructive than filling up the landscape with smoke or juggling some one elses money Theres science of course sometimes I wish Id taken a good foundation say at Boston Tech But now by golly Id have to sit down for two years and struggle through the fundamentals of physics and chemistry
She yawned
Ive told you I dont know what anybody ought to do she said ungraciously and at her indifference his rancor was born again
Arent you interested in anything except yourself
Not much
He glared his growing enjoyment in the conversation was ripped to shreds She had been irritable and vindictive all day and it seemed to him that for this moment he hated her hard selfishness He stared morosely at the fire
Then a strange thing happened She turned to him and smiled and as he saw her smile every rag of anger and hurt vanity dropped from him—as though his very moods were but the outer ripples of her own as though emotion rose no longer in his breast unless she saw fit to pull an omnipotent controlling thread
He moved closer and taking her hand pulled her ever so gently toward him until she half lay against his shoulder She smiled up at him as he kissed her
Gloria he whispered very softly Again she had made a magic subtle and pervading as a spilt perfume irresistible and sweet
Afterward neither the next day nor after many years could he remember the important things of that afternoon Had she been moved In his arms had she spoken a little—or at all What measure of enjoyment had she taken in his kisses And had she at any time lost herself ever so little
Oh for him there was no doubt He had risen and paced the floor in sheer ecstasy That such a girl should be should poise curled in a corner of the couch like a swallow newly landed from a clean swift flight watching him with inscrutable eyes He would stop his pacing and half shy each time at first drop his arm around her and find her kiss
She was fascinating he told her He had never met any one like her before He besought her jauntily but earnestly to send him away he didnt want to fall in love He wasnt coming to see her any more—already she had haunted too many of his ways
What delicious romance His true reaction was neither fear nor sorrow—only this deep delight in being with her that colored the banality of his words and made the mawkish seem sad and the posturing seem wise He would come back—eternally He should have known
This is all Its been very rare to have known you very strange and wonderful But this wouldnt do—and wouldnt last As he spoke there was in his heart that tremulousness that we take for sincerity in ourselves
Afterward he remembered one reply of hers to something he had asked her He remembered it in this form—perhaps he had unconsciously arranged and polished it
A woman should be able to kiss a man beautifully and romantically without any desire to be either his wife or his mistress
As always when he was with her she seemed to grow gradually older until at the end ruminations too deep for words would be wintering in her eyes
An hour passed and the fire leaped up in little ecstasies as though its fading life was sweet It was five now and the clock over the mantel became articulate in sound Then as if a brutish sensibility in him was reminded by those thin tinny beats that the petals were falling from the flowered afternoon Anthony pulled her quickly to her feet and held her helpless without breath in a kiss that was neither a game nor a tribute
Her arms fell to her side In an instant she was free
Dont she said quietly I dont want that
She sat down on the far side of the lounge and gazed straight before her A frown had gathered between her eyes Anthony sank down beside her and closed his hand over hers It was lifeless and unresponsive
Why Gloria He made a motion as if to put his arm about her but she drew away
I dont want that she repeated
Im very sorry he said a little impatiently I—I didnt know you made such fine distinctions
She did not answer
Wont you kiss me Gloria
I dont want to It seemed to him she had not moved for hours
A sudden change isnt it Annoyance was growing in his voice
Is it She appeared uninterested It was almost as though she were looking at some one else
Perhaps Id better go
No reply He rose and regarded her angrily uncertainly Again he sat down
Gloria Gloria wont you kiss me
No Her lips parting for the word had just faintly stirred
Again he got to his feet this time with less decision less confidence
Then Ill go
Silence
All right—Ill go
He was aware of a certain irremediable lack of originality in his remarks Indeed he felt that the whole atmosphere had grown oppressive He wished she would speak rail at him cry out upon him anything but this pervasive and chilling silence He cursed himself for a weak fool his clearest desire was to move her to hurt her to see her wince Helplessly involuntarily he erred again
If youre tired of kissing me Id better go
He saw her lips curl slightly and his last dignity left him She spoke at length
I believe youve made that remark several times before
He looked about him immediately saw his hat and coat on a chair—blundered into them during an intolerable moment Looking again at the couch he perceived that she had not turned not even moved With a shaken immediately regretted goodby he went quickly but without dignity from the room
For over a moment Gloria made no sound Her lips were still curled her glance was straight proud remote Then her eyes blurred a little and she murmured three words half aloud to the deathbound fire
Goodby you ass she said
PANIC
The man had had the hardest blow of his life He knew at last what he wanted but in finding it out it seemed that he had put it forever beyond his grasp He reached home in misery dropped into an armchair without even removing his overcoat and sat there for over an hour his mind racing the paths of fruitless and wretched selfabsorption She had sent him away That was the reiterated burden of his despair Instead of seizing the girl and holding her by sheer strength until she became passive to his desire instead of beating down her will by the force of his own he had walked defeated and powerless from her door with the corners of his mouth drooping and what force there might have been in his grief and rage hidden behind the manner of a whipped schoolboy At one minute she had liked him tremendously—ah she had nearly loved him In the next he had become a thing of indifference to her an insolent and efficiently humiliated man
He had no great selfreproach—some of course but there were other things dominant in him now far more urgent He was not so much in love with Gloria as mad for her Unless he could have her near him again kiss her hold her close and acquiescent he wanted nothing more from life By her three minutes of utter unwavering indifference the girl had lifted herself from a high but somehow casual position in his mind to be instead his complete preoccupation However much his wild thoughts varied between a passionate desire for her kisses and an equally passionate craving to hurt and mar her the residue of his mind craved in finer fashion to possess the triumphant soul that had shone through those three minutes She was beautiful—but especially she was without mercy He must own that strength that could send him away
At present no such analysis was possible to Anthony His clarity of mind all those endless resources which he thought his irony had brought him were swept aside Not only for that night but for the days and weeks that followed his books were to be but furniture and his friends only people who lived and walked in a nebulous outer world from which he was trying to escape—that world was cold and full of bleak wind and for a little while he had seen into a warm house where fires shone
About midnight he began to realize that he was hungry He went down into Fiftysecond Street where it was so cold that he could scarcely see the moisture froze on his lashes and in the corners of his lips Everywhere dreariness had come down from the north settling upon the thin and cheerless street where black bundled figures blacker still against the night moved stumbling along the sidewalk through the shrieking wind sliding their feet cautiously ahead as though they were on skis Anthony turned over toward Sixth Avenue so absorbed in his thoughts as not to notice that several passersby had stared at him His overcoat was wide open and the wind was biting in hard and full of merciless death
… After a while a waitress spoke to him a fat waitress with blackrimmed eyeglasses from which dangled a long black cord
Order please
Her voice he considered was unnecessarily loud He looked up resentfully
You wanna order or doncha
Of course he protested
Well I ast you three times This aint no restroom
He glanced at the big clock and discovered with a start that it was after two He was down around Thirtieth Street somewhere and after a moment he found and translated the
Illustration SDLIHC Transcribers note The illustration shows the word CHILDs in mirror image
in a white semicircle of letters upon the glass front The place was inhabited sparsely by three or four bleak and halffrozen nighthawks
Give me some bacon and eggs and coffee please
The waitress bent upon him a last disgusted glance and looking ludicrously intellectual in her corded glasses hurried away
God Glorias kisses had been such flowers He remembered as though it had been years ago the low freshness of her voice the beautiful lines of her body shining through her clothes her face lilycolored under the lamps of the street—under the lamps
Misery struck at him again piling a sort of terror upon the ache and yearning He had lost her It was true—no denying it no softening it But a new idea had seared his sky—what of Bloeckman What would happen now There was a wealthy man middleaged enough to be tolerant with a beautiful wife to baby her whims and indulge her unreason to wear her as she perhaps wished to be worn—a bright flower in his buttonhole safe and secure from the things she feared He felt that she had been playing with the idea of marrying Bloeckman and it was well possible that this disappointment in Anthony might throw her on sudden impulse into Bloeckmans arms
The idea drove him childishly frantic He wanted to kill Bloeckman and make him suffer for his hideous presumption He was saying this over and over to himself with his teeth tight shut and a perfect orgy of hate and fright in his eyes
But behind this obscene jealousy Anthony was in love at last profoundly and truly in love as the word goes between man and woman
His coffee appeared at his elbow and gave off for a certain time a gradually diminishing wisp of steam The night manager seated at his desk glanced at the motionless figure alone at the last table and then with a sigh moved down upon him just as the hour hand crossed the figure three on the big clock
WISDOM
After another day the turmoil subsided and Anthony began to exercise a measure of reason He was in love—he cried it passionately to himself The things that a week before would have seemed insuperable obstacles his limited income his desire to be irresponsible and independent had in this forty hours become the merest chaff before the wind of his infatuation If he did not marry her his life would be a feeble parody on his own adolescence To be able to face people and to endure the constant reminder of Gloria that all existence had become it was necessary for him to have hope So he built hope desperately and tenaciously out of the stuff of his dream a hope flimsy enough to be sure a hope that was cracked and dissipated a dozen times a day a hope mothered by mockery but nevertheless a hope that would be brawn and sinew to his selfrespect
Out of this developed a spark of wisdom a true perception of his own from out the effortless past
Memory is short he thought
So very short At the crucial point the Trust President is on the stand a potential criminal needing but one push to be a jailbird scorned by the upright for leagues around Let him be acquitted—and in a year all is forgotten Yes he did have some trouble once just a technicality I believe Oh memory is very short
Anthony had seen Gloria altogether about a dozen times say two dozen hours Supposing he left her alone for a month made no attempt to see her or speak to her and avoided every place where she might possibly be Wasnt it possible the more possible because she had never loved him that at the end of that time the rush of events would efface his personality from her conscious mind and with his personality his offense and humiliation She would forget for there would be other men He winced The implication struck out at him—other men Two months—God Better three weeks two weeks——
He thought this the second evening after the catastrophe when he was undressing and at this point he threw himself down on the bed and lay there trembling very slightly and looking at the top of the canopy
Two weeks—that was worse than no time at all In two weeks he would approach her much as he would have to now without personality or confidence—remaining still the man who had gone too far and then for a period that in time was but a moment but in fact an eternity whined No two weeks was too short a time Whatever poignancy there had been for her in that afternoon must have time to dull He must give her a period when the incident should fade and then a new period when she should gradually begin to think of him no matter how dimly with a true perspective that would remember his pleasantness as well as his humiliation
He fixed finally on six weeks as approximately the interval best suited to his purpose and on a desk calendar he marked the days off finding that it would fall on the ninth of April Very well on that day he would phone and ask her if he might call Until then—silence
After his decision a gradual improvement was manifest He had taken at least a step in the direction to which hope pointed and he realized that the less he brooded upon her the better he would be able to give the desired impression when they met
In another hour he fell into a deep sleep
THE INTERVAL
Nevertheless though as the days passed the glory of her hair dimmed perceptibly for him and in a year of separation might have departed completely the six weeks held many abominable days He dreaded the sight of Dick and Maury imagining wildly that they knew all—but when the three met it was Richard Caramel and not Anthony who was the centre of attention The Demon Lover had been accepted for immediate publication Anthony felt that from now on he moved apart He no longer craved the warmth and security of Maurys society which had cheered him no further back than November Only Gloria could give that now and no one else ever again So Dicks success rejoiced him only casually and worried him not a little It meant that the world was going ahead—writing and reading and publishing—and living And he wanted the world to wait motionless and breathless for six weeks—while Gloria forgot
TWO ENCOUNTERS
His greatest satisfaction was in Geraldines company He took her once to dinner and the theatre and entertained her several times in his apartment When he was with her she absorbed him not as Gloria had but quieting those erotic sensibilities in him that worried over Gloria It didnt matter how he kissed Geraldine A kiss was a kiss—to be enjoyed to the utmost for its short moment To Geraldine things belonged in definite pigeonholes a kiss was one thing anything further was quite another a kiss was all right the other things were bad
When half the interval was up two incidents occurred on successive days that upset his increasing calm and caused a temporary relapse
The first was—he saw Gloria It was a short meeting Both bowed Both spoke yet neither heard the other But when it was over Anthony read down a column of The Sun three times in succession without understanding a single sentence
One would have thought Sixth Avenue a safe street Having forsworn his barber at the Plaza he went around the corner one morning to be shaved and while waiting his turn he took off coat and vest and with his soft collar open at the neck stood near the front of the shop The day was an oasis in the cold desert of March and the sidewalk was cheerful with a population of strolling sunworshippers A stout woman upholstered in velvet her flabby cheeks too much massaged swirled by with her poodle straining at its leash—the effect being given of a tug bringing in an ocean liner Just behind them a man in a striped blue suit walking sluefooted in whitespatted feet grinned at the sight and catching Anthonys eye winked through the glass Anthony laughed thrown immediately into that humor in which men and women were graceless and absurd phantasms grotesquely curved and rounded in a rectangular world of their own building They inspired the same sensations in him as did those strange and monstrous fish who inhabit the esoteric world of green in the aquarium
Two more strollers caught his eye casually a man and a girl—then in a horrified instant the girl resolved herself into Gloria He stood here powerless they came nearer and Gloria glancing in saw him Her eyes widened and she smiled politely Her lips moved She was less than five feet away
How do you do he muttered inanely
Gloria happy beautiful and young—with a man he had never seen before
It was then that the barbers chair was vacated and he read down the newspaper column three times in succession
The second incident took place the next day Going into the Manhattan bar about seven he was confronted with Bloeckman As it happened the room was nearly deserted and before the mutual recognition he had stationed himself within a foot of the older man and ordered his drink so it was inevitable that they should converse
Hello Mr Patch said Bloeckman amiably enough
Anthony took the proffered hand and exchanged a few aphorisms on the fluctuations of the mercury
Do you come in here much inquired Bloeckman
No very seldom He omitted to add that the Plaza bar had until lately been his favorite
Nice bar One of the best bars in town
Anthony nodded Bloeckman emptied his glass and picked up his cane He was in evening dress
Well Ill be hurrying on Im going to dinner with Miss Gilbert
Death looked suddenly out at him from two blue eyes Had he announced himself as his visàviss prospective murderer he could not have struck a more vital blow at Anthony The younger man must have reddened visibly for his every nerve was in instant clamor With tremendous effort he mustered a rigid—oh so rigid—smile and said a conventional goodby But that night he lay awake until after four half wild with grief and fear and abominable imaginings
WEAKNESS
And one day in the fifth week he called her up He had been sitting in his apartment trying to read LEducation Sentimental and something in the book had sent his thoughts racing in the direction that set free they always took like horses racing for a home stable With suddenly quickened breath he walked to the telephone When he gave the number it seemed to him that his voice faltered and broke like a schoolboys The Central must have heard the pounding of his heart The sound of the receiver being taken up at the other end was a crack of doom and Mrs Gilberts voice soft as maple syrup running into a glass container had for him a quality of horror in its single Hellooah
Miss Glorias not feeling well Shes lying down asleep Who shall I say called
Nobody he shouted
In a wild panic he slammed down the receiver collapsed into his armchair in the cold sweat of breathless relief
SERENADE
The first thing he said to her was Why youve bobbed your hair and she answered Yes isnt it gorgeous
It was not fashionable then It was to be fashionable in five or six years At that time it was considered extremely daring
Its all sunshine outdoors he said gravely Dont you want to take a walk
She put on a light coat and a quaintly piquant Napoleon hat of Alice Blue and they walked along the Avenue and into the Zoo where they properly admired the grandeur of the elephant and the collarheight of the giraffe but did not visit the monkey house because Gloria said that monkeys smelt so bad
Then they returned toward the Plaza talking about nothing but glad for the spring singing in the air and for the warm balm that lay upon the suddenly golden city To their right was the Park while at the left a great bulk of granite and marble muttered dully a millionaires chaotic message to whosoever would listen something about I worked and I saved and I was sharper than all Adam and here I sit by golly by golly
All the newest and most beautiful designs in automobiles were out on Fifth Avenue and ahead of them the Plaza loomed up rather unusually white and attractive The supple indolent Gloria walked a short shadows length ahead of him pouring out lazy casual comments that floated a moment on the dazzling air before they reached his ear
Oh she cried I want to go south to Hot Springs I want to get out in the air and just roll around on the new grass and forget theres ever been any winter
Dont you though
I want to hear a million robins making a frightful racket I sort of like birds
All women are birds he ventured
What kind am I—quick and eager
A swallow I think and sometimes a bird of paradise Most girls are sparrows of course—see that row of nursemaids over there Theyre sparrows—or are they magpies And of course youve met canary girls—and robin girls
And swan girls and parrot girls All grown women are hawks I think or owls
What am I—a buzzard
She laughed and shook her head
Oh no youre not a bird at all do you think Youre a Russian wolfhound
Anthony remembered that they were white and always looked unnaturally hungry But then they were usually photographed with dukes and princesses so he was properly flattered
Dicks a fox terrier a trick fox terrier she continued
And Maurys a cat Simultaneously it occurred to him how like Bloeckman was to a robust and offensive hog But he preserved a discreet silence
Later as they parted Anthony asked when he might see her again
Dont you ever make long engagements he pleaded even if its a week ahead I think itd be fun to spend a whole day together morning and afternoon both
It would be wouldnt it She thought for a moment Lets do it next
Sunday
All right Ill map out a programme thatll take up every minute
He did He even figured to a nicety what would happen in the two hours when she would come to his apartment for tea how the good Bounds would have the windows wide to let in the fresh breeze—but a fire going also lest there be chill in the air—and how there would be clusters of flowers about in big cool bowls that he would buy for the occasion They would sit on the lounge
And when the day came they did sit upon the lounge After a while Anthony kissed her because it came about quite naturally he found sweetness sleeping still upon her lips and felt that he had never been away The fire was bright and the breeze sighing in through the curtains brought a mellow damp promising May and world of summer His soul thrilled to remote harmonies he heard the strum of far guitars and waters lapping on a warm Mediterranean shore—for he was young now as he would never be again and more triumphant than death
Six oclock stole down too soon and rang the querulous melody of St Annes chimes on the corner Through the gathering dusk they strolled to the Avenue where the crowds like prisoners released were walking with elastic step at last after the long winter and the tops of the busses were thronged with congenial kings and the shops full of fine soft things for the summer the rare summer the gay promising summer that seemed for love what the winter was for money Life was singing for his supper on the corner Life was handing round cocktails in the street Old women there were in that crowd who felt that they could have run and won a hundredyard dash
In bed that night with the lights out and the cool room swimming with moonlight Anthony lay awake and played with every minute of the day like a child playing in turn with each one of a pile of longwanted Christmas toys He had told her gently almost in the middle of a kiss that he loved her and she had smiled and held him closer and murmured Im glad looking into his eyes There had been a new quality in her attitude a new growth of sheer physical attraction toward him and a strange emotional tenseness that was enough to make him clinch his hands and draw in his breath at the recollection He had felt nearer to her than ever before In a rare delight he cried aloud to the room that he loved her
He phoned next morning—no hesitation now no uncertainty—instead a delirious excitement that doubled and trebled when he heard her voice
Good morning—Gloria
Good morning
Thats all I called you up to saydear
Im glad you did
I wish I could see you
You will tomorrow night
Thats a long time isnt it
Yes— Her voice was reluctant His hand tightened on the receiver
Couldnt I come tonight He dared anything in the glory and revelation of that almost whispered yes
I have a date
Oh—
But I might—I might be able to break it
Oh—a sheer cry a rhapsody Gloria
What
I love you
Another pause and then
I—Im glad
Happiness remarked Maury Noble one day is only the first hour after the alleviation of some especially intense misery But oh Anthonys face as he walked down the tenthfloor corridor of the Plaza that night His dark eyes were gleaming—around his mouth were lines it was a kindness to see He was handsome then if never before bound for one of those immortal moments which come so radiantly that their remembered light is enough to see by for years
He knocked and at a word entered Gloria dressed in simple pink starched and fresh as a flower was across the room standing very still and looking at him wideeyed
As he closed the door behind him she gave a little cry and moved swiftly over the intervening space her arms rising in a premature caress as she came near Together they crushed out the stiff folds of her dress in one triumphant and enduring embrace
BOOK TWO
CHAPTER I
THE RADIANT HOUR
After a fortnight Anthony and Gloria began to indulge in practical discussions as they called those sessions when under the guise of severe realism they walked in an eternal moonlight
Not as much as I do you the critic of belleslettres would insist
If you really loved me youd want every one to know it
I do she protested I want to stand on the street corner like a sandwich man informing all the passersby
Then tell me all the reasons why youre going to marry me in June
Well because youre so clean Youre sort of blowy clean like I am Theres two sorts you know Ones like Dick hes clean like polished pans You and I are clean like streams and winds I can tell whenever I see a person whether he is clean and if so which kind of clean he is
Were twins
Ecstatic thought
Mother says—she hesitated uncertainly—mother says that two souls are sometimes created together and—and in love before theyre born
Bilphism gained its easiest convert… After a while he lifted up his head and laughed soundlessly toward the ceiling When his eyes came back to her he saw that she was angry
Why did you laugh she cried youve done that twice before Theres nothing funny about our relation to each other I dont mind playing the fool and I dont mind having you do it but I cant stand it when were together
Im sorry
Oh dont say youre sorry If you cant think of anything better than that just keep quiet
I love you
I dont care
There was a pause Anthony was depressed… At length Gloria murmured
Im sorry I was mean
You werent I was the one
Peace was restored—the ensuing moments were so much more sweet and sharp and poignant They were stars on this stage each playing to an audience of two the passion of their pretense created the actuality Here finally was the quintessence of selfexpression—yet it was probable that for the most part their love expressed Gloria rather than Anthony He felt often like a scarcely tolerated guest at a party she was giving
Telling Mrs Gilbert had been an embarrassed matter She sat stuffed into a small chair and listened with an intense and very blinky sort of concentration She must have known it—for three weeks Gloria had seen no one else—and she must have noticed that this time there was an authentic difference in her daughters attitude She had been given special deliveries to post she had heeded as all mothers seem to heed the hither end of telephone conversations disguised but still rather warm—
—Yet she had delicately professed surprise and declared herself immensely pleased she doubtless was so were the geranium plants blossoming in the windowboxes and so were the cabbies when the lovers sought the romantic privacy of hansom cabs—quaint device—and the staid bill of fares on which they scribbled you know I do pushing it over for the other to see
But between kisses Anthony and this golden girl quarrelled incessantly
Now Gloria he would cry please let me explain
Dont explain Kiss me
I dont think thats right If I hurt your feelings we ought to discuss it I dont like this kissandforget
But I dont want to argue I think its wonderful that we can kiss and forget and when we cant itll be time to argue
At one time some gossamer difference attained such bulk that Anthony arose and punched himself into his overcoat—for a moment it appeared that the scene of the preceding February was to be repeated but knowing how deeply she was moved he retained his dignity with his pride and in a moment Gloria was sobbing in his arms her lovely face miserable as a frightened little girls
Meanwhile they kept unfolding to each other unwillingly by curious reactions and evasions by distastes and prejudices and unintended hints of the past The girl was proudly incapable of jealousy and because he was extremely jealous this virtue piqued him He told her recondite incidents of his own life on purpose to arouse some spark of it but to no avail She possessed him now—nor did she desire the dead years
Oh Anthony she would say always when Im mean to you Im sorry afterward Id give my right hand to save you one little moments pain
And in that instant her eyes were brimming and she was not aware that she was voicing an illusion Yet Anthony knew that there were days when they hurt each other purposely—taking almost a delight in the thrust Incessantly she puzzled him one hour so intimate and charming striving desperately toward an unguessed transcendent union the next silent and cold apparently unmoved by any consideration of their love or anything he could say Often he would eventually trace these portentous reticences to some physical discomfort—of these she never complained until they were over—or to some carelessness or presumption in him or to an unsatisfactory dish at dinner but even then the means by which she created the infinite distances she spread about herself were a mystery buried somewhere back in those twentytwo years of unwavering pride
Why do you like Muriel he demanded one day
I dont very much
Then why do you go with her
Just for some one to go with Theyre no exertion those girls They sort of believe everything I tell them—but I rather like Rachael I think shes cute—and so clean and slick dont you I used to have other friends—in Kansas City and at school—casual all of them girls who just flitted into my range and out of it for no more reason than that boys took us places together They didnt interest me after environment stopped throwing us together Now theyre mostly married What does it matter—they were all just people
You like men better dont you
Oh much better Ive got a mans mind
Youve got a mind like mine Not strongly gendered either way
Later she told him about the beginnings of her friendship with Bloeckman One day in Delmonicos Gloria and Rachael had come upon Bloeckman and Mr Gilbert having luncheon and curiosity had impelled her to make it a party of four She had liked him—rather He was a relief from younger men satisfied as he was with so little He humored her and he laughed whether he understood her or not She met him several times despite the open disapproval of her parents and within a month he had asked her to marry him tendering her everything from a villa in Italy to a brilliant career on the screen She had laughed in his face—and he had laughed too
But he had not given up To the time of Anthonys arrival in the arena he had been making steady progress She treated him rather well—except that she had called him always by an invidious nickname—perceiving meanwhile that he was figuratively following along beside her as she walked the fence ready to catch her if she should fall
The night before the engagement was announced she told Bloeckman It was a heavy blow She did not enlighten Anthony as to the details but she implied that he had not hesitated to argue with her Anthony gathered that the interview had terminated on a stormy note with Gloria very cool and unmoved lying in her corner of the sofa and Joseph Bloeckman of Films Par Excellence pacing the carpet with eyes narrowed and head bowed Gloria had been sorry for him but she had judged it best not to show it In a final burst of kindness she had tried to make him hate her there at the last But Anthony understanding that Glorias indifference was her strongest appeal judged how futile this must have been He wondered often but quite casually about Bloeckman—finally he forgot him entirely
HEYDAY
One afternoon they found front seats on the sunny roof of a bus and rode for hours from the fading Square up along the sullied river and then as the stray beams fled the westward streets sailed down the turgid Avenue darkening with ominous bees from the department stores The traffic was clotted and gripped in a patternless jam the busses were packed four deep like platforms above the crowd as they waited for the moan of the traffic whistle
Isnt it good cried Gloria Look
A millers wagon stark white with flour driven by a powdery clown passed in front of them behind a white horse and his black teammate
What a pity she complained theyd look so beautiful in the dusk if only both horses were white Im mighty happy just this minute in this city
Anthony shook his head in disagreement
I think the citys a mountebank Always struggling to approach the tremendous and impressive urbanity ascribed to it Trying to be romantically metropolitan
I dont I think it is impressive
Momentarily But its really a transparent artificial sort of spectacle Its got its pressagented stars and its flimsy unenduring stage settings and Ill admit the greatest army of supers ever assembled— He paused laughed shortly and added Technically excellent perhaps but not convincing
Ill bet policemen think people are fools said Gloria thoughtfully as she watched a large but cowardly lady being helped across the street He always sees them frightened and inefficient and old—they are she added And then Wed better get off I told mother Id have an early supper and go to bed She says I look tired damn it
I wish we were married he muttered soberly therell be no good night then and we can do just as we want
Wont it be good I think we ought to travel a lot I want to go to the Mediterranean and Italy And Id like to go on the stage some time—say for about a year
You bet Ill write a play for you
Wont that be good And Ill act in it And then some time when we have more money—old Adams death was always thus tactfully alluded to—well build a magnificent estate wont we
Oh yes with private swimming pools
Dozens of them And private rivers Oh I wish it were now
Odd coincidence—he had just been wishing that very thing They plunged like divers into the dark eddying crowd and emerging in the cool fifties sauntered indolently homeward infinitely romantic to each other … both were walking alone in a dispassionate garden with a ghost found in a dream
Halcyon days like boats drifting along slowmoving rivers spring evenings full of a plaintive melancholy that made the past beautiful and bitter bidding them look back and see that the loves of other summers long gone were dead with the forgotten waltzes of their years Always the most poignant moments were when some artificial barrier kept them apart in the theatre their hands would steal together join give and return gentle pressures through the long dark in crowded rooms they would form words with their lips for each others eyes—not knowing that they were but following in the footsteps of dusty generations but comprehending dimly that if truth is the end of life happiness is a mode of it to be cherished in its brief and tremulous moment And then one fairy night May became June Sixteen days now—fifteen—fourteen——
THREE DIGRESSIONS
Just before the engagement was announced Anthony had gone up to Tarrytown to see his grandfather who a little more wizened and grizzly as time played its ultimate chuckling tricks greeted the news with profound cynicism
Oh youre going to get married are you He said this with such a dubious mildness and shook his head up and down so many times that Anthony was not a little depressed While he was unaware of his grandfathers intentions he presumed that a large part of the money would come to him A good deal would go in charities of course a good deal to carry on the business of reform
Are you going to work
Why— temporized Anthony somewhat disconcerted I am working You know—
Ah I mean work said Adam Patch dispassionately
Im not quite sure yet what Ill do Im not exactly a beggar grampa he asserted with some spirit
The old man considered this with eyes half closed Then almost apologetically he asked
How much do you save a year
Nothing so far—
And so after just managing to get along on your money youve decided that by some miracle two of you can get along on it
Gloria has some money of her own Enough to buy clothes
How much
Without considering this question impertinent Anthony answered it
About a hundred a month
Thats altogether about seventyfive hundred a year Then he added softly It ought to be plenty If you have any sense it ought to be plenty But the question is whether you have any or not
I suppose it is It was shameful to be compelled to endure this pious browbeating from the old man and his next words were stiffened with vanity I can manage very well You seem convinced that Im utterly worthless At any rate I came up here simply to tell you that Im getting married in June Goodby sir With this he turned away and headed for the door unaware that in that instant his grandfather for the first time rather liked him
Wait called Adam Patch I want to talk to you
Anthony faced about
Well sir
Sit down Stay all night
Somewhat mollified Anthony resumed his seat
Im sorry sir but Im going to see Gloria tonight
Whats her name
Gloria Gilbert
New York girl Someone you know
Shes from the Middle West
What business her father in
In a celluloid corporation or trust or something Theyre from Kansas
City
You going to be married out there
Why no sir We thought wed be married in New York—rather quietly
Like to have the wedding out here
Anthony hesitated The suggestion made no appeal to him but it was certainly the part of wisdom to give the old man if possible a proprietary interest in his married life In addition Anthony was a little touched
Thats very kind of you grampa but wouldnt it be a lot of trouble
Everythings a lot of trouble Your father was married here—but in the old house
Why—I thought he was married in Boston
Adam Patch considered
Thats true He was married in Boston
Anthony felt a moments embarrassment at having made the correction and he covered it up with words
Well Ill speak to Gloria about it Personally Id like to but of course its up to the Gilberts you see
His grandfather drew a long sigh half closed his eyes and sank back in his chair
In a hurry he asked in a different tone
Not especially
I wonder began Adam Patch looking out with a mild kindly glance at the lilac bushes that rustled against the windows I wonder if you ever think about the afterlife
Why—sometimes
I think a great deal about the afterlife His eyes were dim but his voice was confident and clear I was sitting here today thinking about whats lying in wait for us and somehow I began to remember an afternoon nearly sixtyfive years ago when I was playing with my little sister Annie down where that summerhouse is now He pointed out into the long flowergarden his eyes trembling of tears his voice shaking
I began thinking—and it seemed to me that you ought to think a little more about the afterlife You ought to be—steadier—he paused and seemed to grope about for the right word—more industrious—why—
Then his expression altered his entire personality seemed to snap together like a trap and when he continued the softness had gone from his voice
—Why when I was just two years older than you he rasped with a cunning chuckle I sent three members of the firm of Wrenn and Hunt to the poorhouse
Anthony started with embarrassment
Well goodby added his grandfather suddenly youll miss your train
Anthony left the house unusually elated and strangely sorry for the old man not because his wealth could buy him neither youth nor digestion but because he had asked Anthony to be married there and because he had forgotten something about his sons wedding that he should have remembered
Richard Caramel who was one of the ushers caused Anthony and Gloria much distress in the last few weeks by continually stealing the rays of their spotlight The Demon Lover had been published in April and it interrupted the love affair as it may be said to have interrupted everything its author came in contact with It was a highly original rather overwritten piece of sustained description concerned with a Don Juan of the New York slums As Maury and Anthony had said before as the more hospitable critics were saying then there was no writer in America with such power to describe the atavistic and unsubtle reactions of that section of society
The book hesitated and then suddenly went Editions small at first then larger crowded each other week by week A spokesman of the Salvation Army denounced it as a cynical misrepresentation of all the uplift taking place in the underworld Clever pressagenting spread the unfounded rumor that Gypsy Smith was beginning a libel suit because one of the principal characters was a burlesque of himself It was barred from the public library of Burlington Iowa and a MidWestern columnist announced by innuendo that Richard Caramel was in a sanitarium with delirium tremens
The author indeed spent his days in a state of pleasant madness The book was in his conversation threefourths of the time—he wanted to know if one had heard the latest he would go into a store and in a loud voice order books to be charged to him in order to catch a chance morsel of recognition from clerk or customer He knew to a town in what sections of the country it was selling best he knew exactly what he cleared on each edition and when he met any one who had not read it or as it happened only too often had not heard of it he succumbed to moody depression
So it was natural for Anthony and Gloria to decide in their jealousy that he was so swollen with conceit as to be a bore To Dicks great annoyance Gloria publicly boasted that she had never read The Demon Lover and didnt intend to until every one stopped talking about it As a matter of fact she had no time to read now for the presents were pouring in—first a scattering then an avalanche varying from the bricàbrac of forgotten family friends to the photographs of forgotten poor relations
Maury gave them an elaborate drinking set which included silver goblets cocktail shaker and bottleopeners The extortion from Dick was more conventional—a tea set from Tiffanys From Joseph Bloeckman came a simple and exquisite travelling clock with his card There was even a cigaretteholder from Bounds this touched Anthony and made him want to weep—indeed any emotion short of hysteria seemed natural in the halfdozen people who were swept up by this tremendous sacrifice to convention The room set aside in the Plaza bulged with offerings sent by Harvard friends and by associates of his grandfather with remembrances of Glorias Farmover days and with rather pathetic trophies from her former beaux which last arrived with esoteric melancholy messages written on cards tucked carefully inside beginning I little thought when— or Im sure I wish you all the happiness— or even When you get this I shall be on my way to—
The most munificent gift was simultaneously the most disappointing It was a concession of Adam Patchs—a check for five thousand dollars
To most of the presents Anthony was cold It seemed to him that they would necessitate keeping a chart of the marital status of all their acquaintances during the next halfcentury But Gloria exulted in each one tearing at the tissuepaper and excelsior with the rapaciousness of a dog digging for a bone breathlessly seizing a ribbon or an edge of metal and finally bringing to light the whole article and holding it up critically no emotion except rapt interest in her unsmiling face
Look Anthony
Darn nice isnt it
No answer until an hour later when she would give him a careful account of her precise reaction to the gift whether it would have been improved by being smaller or larger whether she was surprised at getting it and if so just how much surprised
Mrs Gilbert arranged and rearranged a hypothetical house distributing the gifts among the different rooms tabulating articles as secondbest clock or silver to use every day and embarrassing Anthony and Gloria by semifacetious references to a room she called the nursery She was pleased by old Adams gift and thereafter had it that he was a very ancient soul as much as anything else As Adam Patch never quite decided whether she referred to the advancing senility of his mind or to some private and psychic schema of her own it cannot be said to have pleased him Indeed he always spoke of her to Anthony as that old woman the mother as though she were a character in a comedy he had seen staged many times before Concerning Gloria he was unable to make up his mind She attracted him but as she herself told Anthony he had decided that she was frivolous and was afraid to approve of her
Five days—A dancing platform was being erected on the lawn at Tarrytown Four days—A special train was chartered to convey the guests to and from New York Three days——
THE DIARY
She was dressed in blue silk pajamas and standing by her bed with her hand on the light to put the room in darkness when she changed her mind and opening a table drawer brought out a little black book—a Lineaday diary This she had kept for seven years Many of the pencil entries were almost illegible and there were notes and references to nights and afternoons long since forgotten for it was not an intimate diary even though it began with the immemorial I am going to keep a diary for my children Yet as she thumbed over the pages the eyes of many men seemed to look out at her from their halfobliterated names With one she had gone to New Haven for the first time—in 1908 when she was sixteen and padded shoulders were fashionable at Yale—she had been flattered because Touch down Michaud had rushed her all evening She sighed remembering the grownup satin dress she had been so proud of and the orchestra playing Yamayama My Yama Man and JungleTown So long ago—the names Eltynge Reardon Jim Parsons Curly McGregor Kenneth Cowan Fisheye Fry whom she had liked for being so ugly Carter Kirby—he had sent her a present so had Tudor Baird—Marty Reffer the first man she had been in love with for more than a day and Stuart Holcome who had run away with her in his automobile and tried to make her marry him by force And Larry Fenwick whom she had always admired because he had told her one night that if she wouldnt kiss him she could get out of his car and walk home What a list
… And after all an obsolete list She was in love now set for the eternal romance that was to be the synthesis of all romance yet sad for these men and these moonlights and for the thrills she had had—and the kisses The past—her past oh what a joy She had been exuberantly happy
Turning over the pages her eyes rested idly on the scattered entries of the past four months She read the last few carefully
April 1st—I know Bill Carstairs hates me because I was so disagreeable but I hate to be sentimentalized over sometimes We drove out to the Rockyear Country Club and the most wonderful moon kept shining through the trees My silver dress is getting tarnished Funny how one forgets the other nights at Rockyear—with Kenneth Cowan when I loved him so
April 3rd—After two hours of Schroeder who they inform me has millions Ive decided that this matter of sticking to things wears one out particularly when the things concerned are men Theres nothing so often overdone and from today I swear to be amused We talked about love—how banal With how many men have I talked about love
April 11th—Patch actually called up today and when he forswore me about a month ago he fairly raged out the door Im gradually losing faith in any man being susceptible to fatal injuries
April 20th—Spent the day with Anthony Maybe Ill marry him some time I kind of like his ideas—he stimulates all the originality in me Blockhead came around about ten in his new car and took me out Riverside Drive I liked him tonight hes so considerate He knew I didnt want to talk so he was quiet all during the ride
April 21st—Woke up thinking of Anthony and sure enough he called and sounded sweet on the phone—so I broke a date for him Today I feel Id break anything for him including the ten commandments and my neck Hes coming at eight and I shall wear pink and look very fresh and starched——
She paused here remembering that after he had gone that night she had undressed with the shivering April air streaming in the windows Yet it seemed she had not felt the cold warmed by the profound banalities burning in her heart
The next entry occurred a few days later
April 24th—I want to marry Anthony because husbands are so often husbands and I must marry a lover
There are four general types of husbands
1 The husband who always wants to stay in in the evening has no vices and works for a salary Totally undesirable
2 The atavistic master whose mistress one is to wait on his pleasure This sort always considers every pretty woman shallow a sort of peacock with arrested development
3 Next comes the worshipper the idolater of his wife and all that is his to the utter oblivion of everything else This sort demands an emotional actress for a wife God it must be an exertion to be thought righteous
4 And Anthony—a temporarily passionate lover with wisdom enough to realize when it has flown and that it must fly And I want to get married to Anthony
What grubworms women are to crawl on their bellies through colorless marriages Marriage was created not to be a background but to need one Mine is going to be outstanding It cant shant be the setting—its going to be the performance the live lovely glamourous performance and the world shall be the scenery I refuse to dedicate my life to posterity Surely one owes as much to the current generation as to ones unwanted children What a fate—to grow rotund and unseemly to lose my selflove to think in terms of milk oatmeal nurse diapers… Dear dream children how much more beautiful you are dazzling little creatures who flutter all dream children must flutter on golden golden wings——
Such children however poor dear babies have little in common with the wedded state
June 7th—Moral question Was it wrong to make Bloeckman love me Because I did really make him He was almost sweetly sad tonight How opportune it was that my throat is swollen plunk together and tears were easy to muster But hes just the past—buried already in my plentiful lavender
June 8th—And today Ive promised not to chew my mouth Well I wont I suppose—but if hed only asked me not to eat
Blowing bubbles—thats what were doing Anthony and me And we blew such beautiful ones today and theyll explode and then well blow more and more I guess—bubbles just as big and just as beautiful until all the soap and water is used up
On this note the diary ended Her eyes wandered up the page over the June 8ths of 1912 1910 1907 The earliest entry was scrawled in the plump bulbous hand of a sixteenyearold girl—it was the name Bob Lamar and a word she could not decipher Then she knew what it was—and knowing she found her eyes misty with tears There in a graying blur was the record of her first kiss faded as its intimate afternoon on a rainy veranda seven years before She seemed to remember something one of them had said that day and yet she could not remember Her tears came faster until she could scarcely see the page She was crying she told herself because she could remember only the rain and the wet flowers in the yard and the smell of the damp grass
… After a moment she found a pencil and holding it unsteadily drew three parallel lines beneath the last entry Then she printed FINIS in large capitals put the book back in the drawer and crept into bed
BREATH OF THE CAVE
Back in his apartment after the bridal dinner Anthony snapped out his lights and feeling impersonal and fragile as a piece of china waiting on a serving table got into bed It was a warm night—a sheet was enough for comfort—and through his wideopen windows came sound evanescent and summery alive with remote anticipation He was thinking that the young years behind him hollow and colorful had been lived in facile and vacillating cynicism upon the recorded emotions of men long dust And there was something beyond that he knew now There was the union of his soul with Glorias whose radiant fire and freshness was the living material of which the dead beauty of books was made
From the night into his highwalled room there came persistently that evanescent and dissolving sound—something the city was tossing up and calling back again like a child playing with a ball In Harlem the Bronx Gramercy Park and along the waterfronts in little parlors or on pebblestrewn moonflooded roofs a thousand lovers were making this sound crying little fragments of it into the air All the city was playing with this sound out there in the blue summer dark throwing it up and calling it back promising that in a little while life would be beautiful as a story promising happiness—and by that promise giving it It gave love hope in its own survival It could do no more
It was then that a new note separated itself jarringly from the soft crying of the night It was a noise from an areaway within a hundred feet from his rear window the noise of a womans laughter It began low incessant and whining—some servantmaid with her fellow he thought—and then it grew in volume and became hysterical until it reminded him of a girl he had seen overcome with nervous laughter at a vaudeville performance Then it sank receded only to rise again and include words—a coarse joke some bit of obscure horseplay he could not distinguish It would break off for a moment and he would just catch the low rumble of a mans voice then begin again—interminably at first annoying then strangely terrible He shivered and getting up out of bed went to the window It had reached a high point tensed and stifled almost the quality of a scream—then it ceased and left behind it a silence empty and menacing as the greater silence overhead Anthony stood by the window a moment longer before he returned to his bed He found himself upset and shaken Try as he might to strangle his reaction some animal quality in that unrestrained laughter had grasped at his imagination and for the first time in four months aroused his old aversion and horror toward all the business of life The room had grown smothery He wanted to be out in some cool and bitter breeze miles above the cities and to live serene and detached back in the corners of his mind Life was that sound out there that ghastly reiterated female sound
Oh my God he cried drawing in his breath sharply
Burying his face in the pillows he tried in vain to concentrate upon the details of the next day
MORNING
In the gray light he found that it was only five oclock He regretted nervously that he had awakened so early—he would appear fagged at the wedding He envied Gloria who could hide her fatigue with careful pigmentation
In his bathroom he contemplated himself in the mirror and saw that he was unusually white—half a dozen small imperfections stood out against the morning pallor of his complexion and overnight he had grown the faint stubble of a beard—the general effect he fancied was unprepossessing haggard half unwell
On his dressing table were spread a number of articles which he told over carefully with suddenly fumbling fingers—their tickets to California the book of travellers checks his watch set to the half minute the key to his apartment which he must not forget to give to Maury and most important of all the ring It was of platinum set around with small emeralds Gloria had insisted on this she had always wanted an emerald wedding ring she said
It was the third present he had given her first had come the engagement ring and then a little gold cigarettecase He would be giving her many things now—clothes and jewels and friends and excitement It seemed absurd that from now on he would pay for all her meals It was going to cost he wondered if he had not underestimated for this trip and if he had not better cash a larger check The question worried him
Then the breathless impendency of the event swept his mind clear of details This was the day—unsought unsuspected six months before but now breaking in yellow light through his east window dancing along the carpet as though the sun were smiling at some ancient and reiterated gag of his own
Anthony laughed in a nervous onesyllable snort
By God he muttered to himself Im as good as married
THE USHERS
Six young men in CROSS PATCHS library growing more and more cheery under the influence of Mumms Extra Dry set surreptitiously in cold pails by the bookcases
THE FIRST YOUNG MAN By golly Believe me in my next book Im going to do a wedding scene thatll knock em cold
THE SECOND YOUNG MAN Met a débutante thother day said she thought your book was powerful As a rule young girls cry for this primitive business
THE THIRD YOUNG MAN Wheres Anthony
THE FOURTH YOUNG MAN Walking up and down outside talking to himself
SECOND YOUNG MAN Lord Did you see the minister Most peculiar looking teeth
FIFTH YOUNG MAN Think theyre natural Funny thing people having gold teeth
SIXTH YOUNG MAN They say they love em My dentist told me once a woman came to him and insisted on having two of her teeth covered with gold No reason at all All right the way they were
FOURTH YOUNG MAN Hear you got out a book Dicky Gratulations
DICK Stiffly Thanks
FOURTH YOUNG MAN Innocently What is it College stories
DICK More stiffly No Not college stories
FOURTH YOUNG MAN Pity Hasnt been a good book about Harvard for years
DICK Touchily Why dont you supply the lack
THIRD YOUNG MAN I think I saw a squad of guests turn the drive in a
Packard just now
SIXTH YOUNG MAN Might open a couple more bottles on the strength of that
THIRD YOUNG MAN It was the shock of my life when I heard the old man was going to have a wet wedding Rabid prohibitionist you know
FOURTH YOUNG MAN Snapping his fingers excitedly By gad I knew Id forgotten something Kept thinking it was my vest
DICK What was it
FOURTH YOUNG MAN By gad By gad
SIXTH YOUNG MAN Here Here Why the tragedy
SECOND YOUNG MAN Whatd you forget The way home
DICK Maliciously He forgot the plot for his book of Harvard stories
FOURTH YOUNG MAN No sir I forgot the present by George I forgot to buy old Anthony a present I kept putting it off and putting it off and by gad Ive forgotten it Whatll they think
SIXTH YOUNG MAN Facetiously Thats probably whats been holding up the wedding
THE FOURTH YOUNG MAN looks nervously at his watch Laughter
FOURTH YOUNG MAN By gad What an ass I am
SECOND YOUNG MAN What dyou make of the bridesmaid who thinks shes
Nora Bayes Kept telling me she wished this was a ragtime wedding
Names Haines or Hampton
DICK Hurriedly spurring his imagination Kane you mean Muriel Kane Shes a sort of debt of honor I believe Once saved Gloria from drowning or something of the sort
SECOND YOUNG MAN I didnt think she could stop that perpetual swaying long enough to swim Fill up my glass will you Old man and I had a long talk about the weather just now
MAURY Who Old Adam
SECOND YOUNG MAN No the brides father He must be with a weather bureau
DICK Hes my uncle Otis
OTIS Well its an honorable profession Laughter
SIXTH YOUNG MAN Bride your cousin isnt she
DICK Yes Cable she is
CABLE She certainly is a beauty Not like you Dicky Bet she brings old Anthony to terms
MAURY Why are all grooms given the title of old I think marriage is an error of youth
DICK Maury the professional cynic
MAURY Why you intellectual faker
FIFTH YOUNG MAN Battle of the highbrows here Otis Pick up what crumbs you can
DICK Faker yourself What do you know
MAURY What do you know
LICK Ask me anything Any branch of knowledge
MAURY All right Whats the fundamental principle of biology
DICK You dont know yourself
MAURY Dont hedge
DICK Well natural selection
MAURY Wrong
DICK I give it up
MAURY Ontogony recapitulates phyllogony
FIFTH YOUNG MAN Take your base
MAURY Ask you another Whats the influence of mice on the clover crop Laughter
FOURTH YOUNG MAN Whats the influence of rats on the Decalogue
MAURY Shut up you saphead There is a connection
DICK What is it then
MAURY Pausing a moment in growing disconcertion Why lets see I seem to have forgotten exactly Something about the bees eating the clover
FOURTH YOUNG MAN And the clover eating the mice Haw Haw
MAURY Frowning Let me just think a minute
DICK Sitting up suddenly Listen
A volley of chatter explodes in the adjoining room The six young men arise feeling at their neckties
DICK Weightily Wed better join the firing squad Theyre going to take the picture I guess No thats afterward
OTIS Cable you take the ragtime bridesmaid
FOURTH YOUNG MAN I wish to God Id sent that present
MAURY If youll give me another minute Ill think of that about the mice
OTIS I was usher last month for old Charlie McIntyre and——
They move slowly toward the door as the chatter becomes a babel and the practising preliminary to the overture issues in long pious groans from ADAM PATCHS organ
ANTHONY
There were five hundred eyes boring through the back of his cutaway and the sun glinting on the clergymans inappropriately bourgeois teeth With difficulty he restrained a laugh Gloria was saying something in a clear proud voice and he tried to think that the affair was irrevocable that every second was significant that his life was being slashed into two periods and that the face of the world was changing before him He tried to recapture that ecstatic sensation of ten weeks before All these emotions eluded him he did not even feel the physical nervousness of that very morning—it was all one gigantic aftermath And those gold teeth He wondered if the clergyman were married he wondered perversely if a clergyman could perform his own marriage service…
But as he took Gloria into his arms he was conscious of a strong reaction The blood was moving in his veins now A languorous and pleasant content settled like a weight upon him bringing responsibility and possession He was married
GLORIA
So many such mingled emotions that no one of them was separable from the others She could have wept for her mother who was crying quietly back there ten feet and for the loveliness of the June sunlight flooding in at the windows She was beyond all conscious perceptions Only a sense colored with delirious wild excitement that the ultimately important was happening—and a trust fierce and passionate burning in her like a prayer that in a moment she would be forever and securely safe
Late one night they arrived in Santa Barbara where the night clerk at the Hotel Lafcadio refused to admit them on the grounds that they were not married
The clerk thought that Gloria was beautiful He did not think that anything so beautiful as Gloria could be moral
CON AMORE
That first halfyear—the trip West the long months loiter along the California coast and the gray house near Greenwich where they lived until late autumn made the country dreary—those days those places saw the enraptured hours The breathless idyl of their engagement gave way first to the intense romance of the more passionate relationship The breathless idyl left them fled on to other lovers they looked around one day and it was gone how they scarcely knew Had either of them lost the other in the days of the idyl the love lost would have been ever to the loser that dim desire without fulfilment which stands back of all life But magic must hurry on and the lovers remain…
The idyl passed bearing with it its extortion of youth Came a day when Gloria found that other men no longer bored her came a day when Anthony discovered that he could sit again late into the evening talking with Dick of those tremendous abstractions that had once occupied his world But knowing they had had the best of love they clung to what remained Love lingered—by way of long conversations at night into those stark hours when the mind thins and sharpens and the borrowings from dreams become the stuff of all life by way of deep and intimate kindnesses they developed toward each other by way of their laughing at the same absurdities and thinking the same things noble and the same things sad
It was first of all a time of discovery The things they found in each other were so diverse so intermixed and moreover so sugared with love as to seem at the time not so much discoveries as isolated phenomena—to be allowed for and to be forgotten Anthony found that he was living with a girl of tremendous nervous tension and of the most highhanded selfishness Gloria knew within a month that her husband was an utter coward toward any one of a million phantasms created by his imagination Her perception was intermittent for this cowardice sprang out became almost obscenely evident then faded and vanished as though it had been only a creation of her own mind Her reactions to it were not those attributed to her sex—it roused her neither to disgust nor to a premature feeling of motherhood Herself almost completely without physical fear she was unable to understand and so she made the most of what she felt to be his fears redeeming feature which was that though he was a coward under a shock and a coward under a strain—when his imagination was given play—he had yet a sort of dashing recklessness that moved her on its brief occasions almost to admiration and a pride that usually steadied him when he thought he was observed
The trait first showed itself in a dozen incidents of little more than nervousness—his warning to a taxidriver against fast driving in Chicago his refusal to take her to a certain tough café she had always wished to visit these of course admitted the conventional interpretation—that it was of her he had been thinking nevertheless their culminative weight disturbed her But something that occurred in a San Francisco hotel when they had been married a week gave the matter certainty
It was after midnight and pitch dark in their room Gloria was dozing off and Anthonys even breathing beside her made her suppose that he was asleep when suddenly she saw him raise himself on his elbow and stare at the window
What is it dearest she murmured
Nothing—he had relaxed to his pillow and turned toward her—nothing my darling wife
Dont say wife Im your mistress Wifes such an ugly word Your permanent mistress is so much more tangible and desirable… Come into my arms she added in a rush of tenderness I can sleep so well so well with you in my arms
Coming into Glorias arms had a quite definite meaning It required that he should slide one arm under her shoulder lock both arms about her and arrange himself as nearly as possible as a sort of threesided crib for her luxurious ease Anthony who tossed whose arms went tinglingly to sleep after half an hour of that position would wait until she was asleep and roll her gently over to her side of the bed—then left to his own devices he would curl himself into his usual knots
Gloria having attained sentimental comfort retired into her doze Five minutes ticked away on Bloeckmans travelling clock silence lay all about the room over the unfamiliar impersonal furniture and the halfoppressive ceiling that melted imperceptibly into invisible walls on both sides Then there was suddenly a rattling flutter at the window staccato and loud upon the hushed pent air
With a leap Anthony was out of the bed and standing tense beside it
Whos there he cried in an awful voice
Gloria lay very still wide awake now and engrossed not so much in the rattling as in the rigid breathless figure whose voice had reached from the bedside into that ominous dark
The sound stopped the room was quiet as before—then Anthony pouring words in at the telephone
Some one just tried to get into the room …
Theres some one at the window His voice was emphatic now faintly terrified
All right Hurry He hung up the receiver stood motionless
… There was a rush and commotion at the door a knocking—Anthony went to open it upon an excited night clerk with three bellboys grouped staring behind him Between thumb and finger the night clerk held a wet pen with the threat of a weapon one of the bellboys had seized a telephone directory and was looking at it sheepishly Simultaneously the group was joined by the hastily summoned housedetective and as one man they surged into the room
Lights sprang on with a click Gathering a piece of sheet about her Gloria dove away from sight shutting her eyes to keep out the horror of this unpremeditated visitation There was no vestige of an idea in her stricken sensibilities save that her Anthony was at grievous fault
… The night clerk was speaking from the window his tone half of the servant half of the teacher reproving a schoolboy
Nobody out there he declared conclusively my golly nobody could be out there This heres a sheer fall to the street of fifty feet It was the wind you heard tugging at the blind
Oh
Then she was sorry for him She wanted only to comfort him and draw him back tenderly into her arms to tell them to go away because the thing their presence connotated was odious Yet she could not raise her head for shame She heard a broken sentence apologies conventions of the employee and one unrestrained snicker from a bellboy
Ive been nervous as the devil all evening Anthony was saying somehow that noise just shook me—I was only about half awake
Sure I understand said the night clerk with comfortable tact been that way myself
The door closed the lights snapped out Anthony crossed the floor quietly and crept into bed Gloria feigning to be heavy with sleep gave a quiet little sigh and slipped into his arms
What was it dear
Nothing he answered his voice still shaken I thought there was somebody at the window so I looked out but I couldnt see any one and the noise kept up so I phoned downstairs Sorry if I disturbed you but Im awfully darn nervous tonight
Catching the lie she gave an interior start—he had not gone to the window nor near the window He had stood by the bed and then sent in his call of fear
Oh she said—and then Im so sleepy
For an hour they lay awake side by side Gloria with her eyes shut so tight that blue moons formed and revolved against backgrounds of deepest mauve Anthony staring blindly into the darkness overhead
After many weeks it came gradually out into the light to be laughed and joked at They made a tradition to fit over it—whenever that overpowering terror of the night attacked Anthony she would put her arms about him and croon soft as a song
Ill protect my Anthony Oh nobodys ever going to harm my Anthony
He would laugh as though it were a jest they played for their mutual amusement but to Gloria it was never quite a jest It was at first a keen disappointment later it was one of the times when she controlled her temper
The management of Glorias temper whether it was aroused by a lack of hot water for her bath or by a skirmish with her husband became almost the primary duty of Anthonys day It must be done just so—by this much silence by that much pressure by this much yielding by that much force It was in her angers with their attendant cruelties that her inordinate egotism chiefly displayed itself Because she was brave because she was spoiled because of her outrageous and commendable independence of judgment and finally because of her arrogant consciousness that she had never seen a girl as beautiful as herself Gloria had developed into a consistent practising Nietzschean This of course with overtones of profound sentiment
There was for example her stomach She was used to certain dishes and she had a strong conviction that she could not possibly eat anything else There must be a lemonade and a tomato sandwich late in the morning then a light lunch with a stuffed tomato Not only did she require food from a selection of a dozen dishes but in addition this food must be prepared in just a certain way One of the most annoying half hours of the first fortnight occurred in Los Angeles when an unhappy waiter brought her a tomato stuffed with chicken salad instead of celery
We always serve it that way madame he quavered to the gray eyes that regarded him wrathfully
Gloria made no answer but when the waiter had turned discreetly away she banged both fists upon the table until the china and silver rattled
Poor Gloria laughed Anthony unwittingly you cant get what you want ever can you
I cant eat stuff she flared up
Ill call back the waiter
I dont want you to He doesnt know anything the darn fool
Well it isnt the hotels fault Either send it back forget it or be a sport and eat it
Shut up she said succinctly
Why take it out on me
Oh Im not she wailed but I simply cant eat it
Anthony subsided helplessly
Well go somewhere else he suggested
I dont want to go anywhere else Im tired of being trotted around to a dozen cafés and not getting one thing fit to eat
When did we go around to a dozen cafés
Youd have to in this town insisted Gloria with ready sophistry
Anthony bewildered tried another tack
Why dont you try to eat it It cant be as bad as you think
Just—because—I—dont—like—chicken
She picked up her fork and began poking contemptuously at the tomato and Anthony expected her to begin flinging the stuffings in all directions He was sure that she was approximately as angry as she had ever been—for an instant he had detected a spark of hate directed as much toward him as toward any one else—and Gloria angry was for the present unapproachable
Then surprisingly he saw that she had tentatively raised the fork to her lips and tasted the chicken salad Her frown had not abated and he stared at her anxiously making no comment and daring scarcely to breathe She tasted another forkful—in another moment she was eating With difficulty Anthony restrained a chuckle when at length he spoke his words had no possible connection with chicken salad
This incident with variations ran like a lugubrious fugue through the first year of marriage always it left Anthony baffled irritated and depressed But another rough brushing of temperaments a question of laundrybags he found even more annoying as it ended inevitably in a decisive defeat for him
One afternoon in Coronado where they made the longest stay of their trip more than three weeks Gloria was arraying herself brilliantly for tea Anthony who had been downstairs listening to the latest rumor bulletins of war in Europe entered the room kissed the back of her powdered neck and went to his dresser After a great pulling out and pushing in of drawers evidently unsatisfactory he turned around to the Unfinished Masterpiece
Got any handkerchiefs Gloria he asked Gloria shook her golden head
Not a one Im using one of yours
The last one I deduce He laughed dryly
Is it She applied an emphatic though very delicate contour to her lips
Isnt the laundry back
I dont know
Anthony hesitated—then with sudden discernment opened the closet door His suspicions were verified On the hook provided hung the blue bag furnished by the hotel This was full of his clothes—he had put them there himself The floor beneath it was littered with an astonishing mass of finery—lingerie stockings dresses nightgowns and pajamas—most of it scarcely worn but all of it coming indubitably under the general heading of Glorias laundry
He stood holding the closet door open
Why Gloria
What
The lip line was being erased and corrected according to some mysterious perspective not a finger trembled as she manipulated the lipstick not a glance wavered in his direction It was a triumph of concentration
Havent you ever sent out the laundry
Is it there
It most certainly is
Well I guess I havent then
Gloria began Anthony sitting down on the bed and trying to catch her mirrored eyes youre a nice fellow you are Ive sent it out every time its been sent since we left New York and over a week ago you promised youd do it for a change All youd have to do would be to cram your own junk into that bag and ring for the chambermaid
Oh why fuss about the laundry exclaimed Gloria petulantly Ill take care of it
I havent fussed about it Id just as soon divide the bother with you but when we run out of handkerchiefs its darn near time somethings done
Anthony considered that he was being extraordinarily logical But Gloria unimpressed put away her cosmetics and casually offered him her back
Hook me up she suggested Anthony dearest I forgot all about it I meant to honestly and I will today Dont be cross with your sweetheart
What could Anthony do then but draw her down upon his knee and kiss a shade of color from her lips
But I dont mind she murmured with a smile radiant and magnanimous
You can kiss all the paint off my lips any time you want
They went down to tea They bought some handkerchiefs in a notion store near by All was forgotten
But two days later Anthony looked in the closet and saw the bag still hung limp upon its hook and that the gay and vivid pile on the floor had increased surprisingly in height
Gloria he cried
Oh— Her voice was full of real distress Despairingly Anthony went to the phone and called the chambermaid
It seems to me he said impatiently that you expect me to be some sort of French valet to you
Gloria laughed so infectiously that Anthony was unwise enough to smile Unfortunate man In some intangible manner his smile made her mistress of the situation—with an air of injured righteousness she went emphatically to the closet and began pushing her laundry violently into the bag Anthony watched her—ashamed of himself
There she said implying that her fingers had been worked to the bone by a brutal taskmaster
He considered nevertheless that he had given her an objectlesson and that the matter was closed but on the contrary it was merely beginning Laundry pile followed laundry pile—at long intervals dearth of handkerchief followed dearth of handkerchief—at short ones not to mention dearth of sock of shirt of everything And Anthony found at length that either he must send it out himself or go through the increasingly unpleasant ordeal of a verbal battle with Gloria
GLORIA AND GENERAL LEE
On their way East they stopped two days in Washington strolling about with some hostility in its atmosphere of harsh repellent light of distance without freedom of pomp without splendor—it seemed a pastypale and selfconscious city The second day they made an illadvised trip to General Lees old home at Arlington
The bus which bore them was crowded with hot unprosperous people and Anthony intimate to Gloria felt a storm brewing It broke at the Zoo where the party stopped for ten minutes The Zoo it seemed smelt of monkeys Anthony laughed Gloria called down the curse of Heaven upon monkeys including in her malevolence all the passengers of the bus and their perspiring offspring who had hied themselves monkeyward
Eventually the bus moved on to Arlington There it met other busses and immediately a swarm of women and children were leaving a trail of peanutshells through the halls of General Lee and crowding at length into the room where he was married On the wall of this room a pleasing sign announced in large red letters Ladies Toilet At this final blow Gloria broke down
I think its perfectly terrible she said furiously the idea of letting these people come here And of encouraging them by making these houses showplaces
Well objected Anthony if they werent kept up theyd go to pieces
What if they did she exclaimed as they sought the wide pillared porch Do you think theyve left a breath of 1860 here This has become a thing of 1914
Dont you want to preserve old things
But you cant Anthony Beautiful things grow to a certain height and then they fail and fade off breathing out memories as they decay And just as any period decays in our minds, the things of that period should decay too and in that way theyre preserved for a while in the few hearts like mine that react to them That graveyard at Tarrytown for instance The asses who give money to preserve things have spoiled that too Sleepy Hollows gone Washington Irvings dead and his books are rotting in our estimation year by year—then let the graveyard rot too as it should as all things should Trying to preserve a century by keeping its relics up to date is like keeping a dying man alive by stimulants
So you think that just as a time goes to pieces its houses ought to go too
Of course Would you value your Keats letter if the signature was traced over to make it last longer Its just because I love the past that I want this house to look back on its glamourous moment of youth and beauty and I want its stairs to creak as if to the footsteps of women with hoop skirts and men in boots and spurs But theyve made it into a blondined rougedup old woman of sixty It hasnt any right to look so prosperous It might care enough for Lee to drop a brick now and then How many of these—these animals—she waved her hand around—get anything from this for all the histories and guidebooks and restorations in existence How many of them who think that at best appreciation is talking in undertones and walking on tiptoes would even come here if it was any trouble I want it to smell of magnolias instead of peanuts and I want my shoes to crunch on the same gravel that Lees boots crunched on Theres no beauty without poignancy and theres no poignancy without the feeling that its going men names books houses—bound for dust—mortal—
A small boy appeared beside them and swinging a handful of bananapeels flung them valiantly in the direction of the Potomac
SENTIMENT
Simultaneously with the fall of Liège Anthony and Gloria arrived in New York In retrospect the six weeks seemed miraculously happy They had found to a great extent as most young couples find in some measure that they possessed in common many fixed ideas and curiosities and odd quirks of mind they were essentially companionable
But it had been a struggle to keep many of their conversations on the level of discussions Arguments were fatal to Glorias disposition She had all her life been associated either with her mental inferiors or with men who under the almost hostile intimidation of her beauty had not dared to contradict her naturally then it irritated her when Anthony emerged from the state in which her pronouncements were an infallible and ultimate decision
He failed to realize at first that this was the result partly of her female education and partly of her beauty and he was inclined to include her with her entire sex as curiously and definitely limited It maddened him to find she had no sense of justice But he discovered that when a subject did interest her her brain tired less quickly than his What he chiefly missed in her mind was the pedantic teleology—the sense of order and accuracy the sense of life as a mysteriously correlated piece of patchwork but he understood after a while that such a quality in her would have been incongruous
Of the things they possessed in common greatest of all was their almost uncanny pull at each others hearts The day they left the hotel in Coronado she sat down on one of the beds while they were packing and began to weep bitterly
Dearest— His arms were around her he pulled her head down upon his shoulder What is it my own Gloria Tell me
Were going away she sobbed Oh Anthony its sort of the first place weve lived together Our two little beds here—side by side—theyll be always waiting for us and were never coming back to em any more
She was tearing at his heart as she always could Sentiment came over him rushed into his eyes
Gloria why were going on to another room And two other little beds
Were going to be together all our lives
Words flooded from her in a low husky voice
But it wont be—like our two beds—ever again Everywhere we go and move on and change somethings lost—somethings left behind You cant ever quite repeat anything and Ive been so yours here—
He held her passionately near discerning far beyond any criticism of her sentiment a wise grasping of the minute if only an indulgence of her desire to cry—Gloria the idler caresser of her own dreams extracting poignancy from the memorable things of life and youth
Later in the afternoon when he returned from the station with the tickets he found her asleep on one of the beds her arm curled about a black object which he could not at first identify Coming closer he found it was one of his shoes not a particularly new one nor clean one but her face tearstained was pressed against it and he understood her ancient and most honorable message There was almost ecstasy in waking her and seeing her smile at him shy but well aware of her own nicety of imagination
With no appraisal of the worth or dross of these two things it seemed to Anthony that they lay somewhere near the heart of love
THE GRAY HOUSE
It is in the twenties that the actual momentum of life begins to slacken and it is a simple soul indeed to whom as many things are significant and meaningful at thirty as at ten years before At thirty an organgrinder is a more or less motheaten man who grinds an organ—and once he was an organgrinder The unmistakable stigma of humanity touches all those impersonal and beautiful things that only youth ever grasps in their impersonal glory A brilliant ball gay with light romantic laughter wears through its own silks and satins to show the bare framework of a manmade thing—oh that eternal hand—a play most tragic and most divine becomes merely a succession of speeches sweated over by the eternal plagiarist in the clammy hours and acted by men subject to cramps cowardice and manly sentiment
And this time with Gloria and Anthony this first year of marriage and the gray house caught them in that stage when the organgrinder was slowly undergoing his inevitable metamorphosis She was twentythree he was twentysix
The gray house was at first of sheerly pastoral intent They lived impatiently in Anthonys apartment for the first fortnight after the return from California in a stifled atmosphere of open trunks too many callers and the eternal laundrybags They discussed with their friends the stupendous problem of their future Dick and Maury would sit with them agreeing solemnly almost thoughtfully as Anthony ran through his list of what they ought to do and where they ought to live
Id like to take Gloria abroad he complained except for this damn war—and next to that Id sort of like to have a place in the country somewhere near New York of course where I could write—or whatever I decide to do
Gloria laughed
Isnt he cute she required of Maury Whatever he decides to do But what am I going to do if he works Maury will you take me around if Anthony works
Anyway Im not going to work yet said Anthony quickly
It was vaguely understood between them that on some misty day he would enter a sort of glorified diplomatic service and be envied by princes and prime ministers for his beautiful wife
Well said Gloria helplessly Im sure I dont know We talk and talk and never get anywhere and we ask all our friends and they just answer the way we want em to I wish somebodyd take care of us
Why dont you go out to—out to Greenwich or something suggested
Richard Caramel
Id like that said Gloria brightening Do you think we could get a house there
Dick shrugged his shoulders and Maury laughed
You two amuse me he said Of all the unpractical people As soon as a place is mentioned you expect us to pull great piles of photographs out of our pockets showing the different styles of architecture available in bungalows
Thats just what I dont want wailed Gloria a hot stuffy bungalow with a lot of babies next door and their father cutting the grass in his shirt sleeves—
For Heavens sake Gloria interrupted Maury nobody wants to lock you up in a bungalow Who in Gods name brought bungalows into the conversation But youll never get a place anywhere unless you go out and hunt for it
Go where You say go out and hunt for it but where
With dignity Maury waved his hand pawlike about the room
Out anywhere Out in the country Therere lots of places
Thanks
Look here Richard Caramel brought his yellow eye rakishly into play The trouble with you two is that youre all disorganized Do you know anything about New York State Shut up Anthony Im talking to Gloria
Well she admitted finally Ive been to two or three house parties in Portchester and around in Connecticut—but of course that isnt in New York State is it And neither is Morristown she finished with drowsy irrelevance
There was a shout of laughter
Oh Lord cried Dick neither is Morristown No and neither is
Santa Barbara Gloria Now listen To begin with unless you have a
fortune theres no use considering any place like Newport or
Southhampton or Tuxedo Theyre out of the question
They all agreed to this solemnly
And personally I hate New Jersey Then of course theres upper New
York above Tuxedo
Too cold said Gloria briefly I was there once in an automobile
Well it seems to me therere a lot of towns like Rye between New York and Greenwich where you could buy a little gray house of some—
Gloria leaped at the phrase triumphantly For the first time since their return East she knew what she wanted
Oh yes she cried Oh yes thats it a little gray house with sort of white around and a whole lot of swamp maples just as brown and gold as an October picture in a gallery Where can we find one
Unfortunately Ive mislaid my list of little gray houses with swamp maples around them—but Ill try to find it Meanwhile you take a piece of paper and write down the names of seven possible towns And every day this week you take a trip to one of those towns
Oh gosh protested Gloria collapsing mentally why wont you do it for us I hate trains
Well hire a car and—
Gloria yawned
Im tired of discussing it Seems to me all we do is talk about where to live
My exquisite wife wearies of thought remarked Anthony ironically She must have a tomato sandwich to stimulate her jaded nerves Lets go out to tea
As the unfortunate upshot of this conversation they took Dicks advice literally and two days later went out to Rye where they wandered around with an irritated real estate agent like bewildered babes in the wood They were shown houses at a hundred a month which closely adjoined other houses at a hundred a month they were shown isolated houses to which they invariably took violent dislikes though they submitted weakly to the agents desire that they look at that stove—some stove and to a great shaking of doorposts and tapping of walls intended evidently to show that the house would not immediately collapse no matter how convincingly it gave that impression They gazed through windows into interiors furnished either commercially with slablike chairs and unyielding settees or homelike with the melancholy bricàbrac of other summers—crossed tennis rackets fitform couches and depressing Gibson girls With a feeling of guilt they looked at a few really nice houses aloof dignified and cool—at three hundred a month They went away from Rye thanking the real estate agent very much indeed
On the crowded train back to New York the seat behind was occupied by a superrespirating Latin whose last few meals had obviously been composed entirely of garlic They reached the apartment gratefully almost hysterically and Gloria rushed for a hot bath in the reproachless bathroom So far as the question of a future abode was concerned both of them were incapacitated for a week
The matter eventually worked itself out with unhopedfor romance Anthony ran into the living room one afternoon fairly radiating the idea
Ive got it he was exclaiming as though he had just caught a mouse
Well get a car
Gee whiz Havent we got troubles enough taking care of ourselves
Give me a second to explain cant you just lets leave our stuff with Dick and just pile a couple of suitcases in our car the one were going to buy—well have to have one in the country anyway—and just start out in the direction of New Haven You see as we get out of commuting distance from New York the rentsll get cheaper and as soon as we find a house we want well just settle down
By his frequent and soothing interpolation of the word just he aroused her lethargic enthusiasm Strutting violently about the room he simulated a dynamic and irresistible efficiency Well buy a car tomorrow
Life limping after imaginations tenleague boots saw them out of town a week later in a cheap but sparkling new roadster saw them through the chaotic unintelligible Bronx then over a wide murky district which alternated cheerless bluegreen wastes with suburbs of tremendous and sordid activity They left New York at eleven and it was well past a hot and beatific noon when they moved rakishly through Pelham
These arent towns said Gloria scornfully these are just city blocks plumped down coldly into waste acres I imagine all the men here have their mustaches stained from drinking their coffee too quickly in the morning
And play pinochle on the commuting trains
Whats pinochle
Dont be so literal How should I know But it sounds as though they ought to play it
I like it It sounds as if it were something where you sort of cracked your knuckles or something… Let me drive
Anthony looked at her suspiciously
You swear youre a good driver
Since I was fourteen
He stopped the car cautiously at the side of the road and they changed seats Then with a horrible grinding noise the car was put in gear Gloria adding an accompaniment of laughter which seemed to Anthony disquieting and in the worst possible taste
Here we go she yelled Whoooop
Their heads snapped back like marionettes on a single wire as the car leaped ahead and curved retchingly about a standing milkwagon whose driver stood up on his seat and bellowed after them In the immemorial tradition of the road Anthony retorted with a few brief epigrams as to the grossness of the milkdelivering profession He cut his remarks short however and turned to Gloria with the growing conviction that he had made a grave mistake in relinquishing control and that Gloria was a driver of many eccentricities and of infinite carelessness
Remember now he warned her nervously the man said we oughtnt to go over twenty miles an hour for the first five thousand miles
She nodded briefly but evidently intending to accomplish the prohibitive distance as quickly as possible slightly increased her speed A moment later he made another attempt
See that sign Do you want to get us pinched
Oh for Heavens sake cried Gloria in exasperation you always exaggerate things so
Well I dont want to get arrested
Whos arresting you Youre so persistent—just like you were about my cough medicine last night
It was for your own good
Ha I might as well be living with mama
What a thing to say to me
A standing policeman swerved into view was hastily passed
See him demanded Anthony
Oh you drive me crazy He didnt arrest us did he
When he does itll be too late countered Anthony brilliantly
Her reply was scornful almost injured
Why this old thing wont go over thirtyfive
It isnt old
It is in spirit
That afternoon the car joined the laundrybags and Glorias appetite as one of the trinity of contention He warned her of railroad tracks he pointed out approaching automobiles finally he insisted on taking the wheel and a furious insulted Gloria sat silently beside him between the towns of Larchmont and Rye
But it was due to this furious silence of hers that the gray house materialized from its abstraction for just beyond Rye he surrendered gloomily to it and rerelinquished the wheel Mutely he beseeched her and Gloria instantly cheered vowed to be more careful But because a discourteous streetcar persisted callously in remaining upon its track Gloria ducked down a sidestreet—and thereafter that afternoon was never able to find her way back to the Post Road The street they finally mistook for it lost its PostRoad aspect when it had gone five miles from Cos Cob Its macadam became gravel then dirt—moreover it narrowed and developed a border of maple trees through which filtered the weltering sun making its endless experiments with shadow designs upon the long grass
Were lost now complained Anthony
Read that sign
Marietta—Five Miles Whats Marietta
Never heard of it but lets go on We cant turn here and theres probably a detour back to the Post Road
The way became scarred with deepening ruts and insidious shoulders of stone Three farmhouses faced them momentarily slid by A town sprang up in a cluster of dull roofs around a white tall steeple
Then Gloria hesitating between two approaches and making her choice too late drove over a firehydrant and ripped the transmission violently from the car
It was dark when the realestate agent of Marietta showed them the gray house They came upon it just west of the village where it rested against a sky that was a warm blue cloak buttoned with tiny stars The gray house had been there when women who kept cats were probably witches when Paul Revere made false teeth in Boston preparatory to arousing the great commercial people when our ancestors were gloriously deserting Washington in droves Since those days the house had been bolstered up in a feeble corner considerably repartitioned and newly plastered inside amplified by a kitchen and added to by a sideporch—but save for where some jovial oaf had roofed the new kitchen with red tin Colonial it defiantly remained
How did you happen to come to Marietta demanded the realestate agent in a tone that was first cousin to suspicion He was showing them through four spacious and airy bedrooms
We broke down explained Gloria I drove over a firehydrant and we had ourselves towed to the garage and then we saw your sign
The man nodded unable to follow such a sally of spontaneity There was something subtly immoral in doing anything without several months consideration
They signed a lease that night and in the agents car returned jubilantly to the somnolent and dilapidated Marietta Inn which was too broken for even the chance immoralities and consequent gaieties of a country roadhouse Half the night they lay awake planning the things they were to do there Anthony was going to work at an astounding pace on his history and thus ingratiate himself with his cynical grandfather… When the car was repaired they would explore the country and join the nearest really nice club where Gloria would play golf or something while Anthony wrote This of course was Anthonys idea—Gloria was sure she wanted but to read and dream and be fed tomato sandwiches and lemonades by some angelic servant still in a shadowy hinterland Between paragraphs Anthony would come and kiss her as she lay indolently in the hammock… The hammock a host of new dreams in tune to its imagined rhythm while the wind stirred it and waves of sun undulated over the shadows of blown wheat or the dusty road freckled and darkened with quiet summer rain…
And guests—here they had a long argument both of them trying to be extraordinarily mature and farsighted Anthony claimed that they would need people at least every other weekend as a sort of change This provoked an involved and extremely sentimental conversation as to whether Anthony did not consider Gloria change enough Though he assured her that he did she insisted upon doubting him… Eventually the conversation assumed its eternal monotone What then Oh whatll we do then
Well well have a dog suggested Anthony
I dont want one I want a kitty She went thoroughly and with great enthusiasm into the history habits and tastes of a cat she had once possessed Anthony considered that it must have been a horrible character with neither personal magnetism nor a loyal heart
Later they slept to wake an hour before dawn with the gray house dancing in phantom glory before their dazzled eyes
THE SOUL OF GLORIA
For that autumn the gray house welcomed them with a rush of sentiment that falsified its cynical old age True there were the laundrybags there was Glorias appetite there was Anthonys tendency to brood and his imaginative nervousness but there were intervals also of an unhopedfor serenity Close together on the porch they would wait for the moon to stream across the silver acres of farmland jump a thick wood and tumble waves of radiance at their feet In such a moonlight Glorias face was of a pervading reminiscent white and with a modicum of effort they would slip off the blinders of custom and each would find in the other almost the quintessential romance of the vanished June
One night while her head lay upon his heart and their cigarettes glowed in swerving buttons of light through the dome of darkness over the bed she spoke for the first time and fragmentarily of the men who had hung for brief moments on her beauty
Do you ever think of them he asked her
Only occasionally—when something happens that recalls a particular man
What do you remember—their kisses
All sorts of things… Men are different with women
Different in what way
Oh entirely—and quite inexpressibly Men who had the most firmly rooted reputation for being this way or that would sometimes be surprisingly inconsistent with me Brutal men were tender negligible men were astonishingly loyal and lovable and often honorable men took attitudes that were anything but honorable
For instance
Well there was a boy named Percy Wolcott from Cornell who was quite a hero in college a great athlete and saved a lot of people from a fire or something like that But I soon found he was stupid in a rather dangerous way
What way
It seems he had some naïve conception of a woman fit to be his wife a particular conception that I used to run into a lot and that always drove me wild He demanded a girl whod never been kissed and who liked to sew and sit home and pay tribute to his selfesteem And Ill bet a hat if hes gotten an idiot to sit and be stupid with him hes tearing out on the side with some much speedier lady
Id be sorry for his wife
I wouldnt Think what an ass shed be not to realize it before she married him Hes the sort whose idea of honoring and respecting a woman would be never to give her any excitement With the best intentions he was deep in the dark ages
What was his attitude toward you
Im coming to that As I told you—or did I tell you—he was mighty goodlooking big brown honest eyes and one of those smiles that guarantee the heart behind it is twentykarat gold Being young and credulous I thought he had some discretion so I kissed him fervently one night when we were riding around after a dance at the Homestead at Hot Springs It had been a wonderful week I remember—with the most luscious trees spread like green lather sort of all over the valley and a mist rising out of them on October mornings like bonfires lit to turn them brown—
How about your friend with the ideals interrupted Anthony
It seems that when he kissed me he began to think that perhaps he could get away with a little more that I neednt be respected like this Beatrice Fairfax gladgirl of his imagination
Whatd he do
Not much I pushed him off a sixteenfoot embankment before he was well started
Hurt him inquired Anthony with a laugh
Broke his arm and sprained his ankle He told the story all over Hot Springs and when his arm healed a man named Barley who liked me fought him and broke it over again Oh it was all an awful mess He threatened to sue Barley and Barley—he was from Georgia—was seen buying a gun in town But before that mama had dragged me North again much against my will so I never did find out all that happened—though I saw Barley once in the Vanderbilt lobby
Anthony laughed long and loud
What a career I suppose I ought to be furious because youve kissed so many men Im not though
At this she sat up in bed
Its funny but Im so sure that those kisses left no mark on me—no taint of promiscuity I mean—even though a man once told me in all seriousness that he hated to think Id been a public drinking glass
He had his nerve
I just laughed and told him to think of me rather as a lovingcup that goes from hand to hand but should be valued none the less
Somehow it doesnt bother me—on the other hand it would of course if youd done any more than kiss them But I believe youre absolutely incapable of jealousy except as hurt vanity Why dont you care what Ive done Wouldnt you prefer it if Id been absolutely innocent
Its all in the impression it might have made on you My kisses were because the man was goodlooking or because there was a slick moon or even because Ive felt vaguely sentimental and a little stirred But thats all—its had utterly no effect on me But youd remember and let memories haunt you and worry you
Havent you ever kissed any one like youve kissed me
No she answered simply As Ive told you men have tried—oh lots of things Any pretty girl has that experience… You see she resumed it doesnt matter to me how many women youve stayed with in the past so long as it was merely a physical satisfaction but I dont believe I could endure the idea of your ever having lived with another woman for a protracted period or even having wanted to marry some possible girl Its different somehow Thered be all the little intimacies remembered—and theyd dull that freshness that after all is the most precious part of love
Rapturously he pulled her down beside him on the pillow
Oh my darling he whispered as if I remembered anything but your dear kisses
Then Gloria in a very mild voice
Anthony did I hear anybody say they were thirsty
Anthony laughed abruptly and with a sheepish and amused grin got out of bed
With just a little piece of ice in the water she added Do you suppose I could have that
Gloria used the adjective little whenever she asked a favor—it made the favor sound less arduous But Anthony laughed again—whether she wanted a cake of ice or a marble of it he must go downstairs to the kitchen… Her voice followed him through the hall And just a little cracker with just a little marmalade on it…
Oh gosh sighed Anthony in rapturous slang shes wonderful that girl She has it
When we have a baby she began one day—this it had already been decided was to be after three years—I want it to look like you
Except its legs he insinuated slyly
Oh yes except his legs Hes got to have my legs But the rest of him can be you
My nose
Gloria hesitated
Well perhaps my nose But certainly your eyes—and my mouth and I guess my shape of the face I wonder I think hed be sort of cute if he had my hair
My dear Gloria youve appropriated the whole baby
Well I didnt mean to she apologized cheerfully
Let him have my neck at least he urged regarding himself gravely in the glass Youve often said you liked my neck because the Adams apple doesnt show and besides your necks too short
Why it is not she cried indignantly turning to the mirror its just right I dont believe Ive ever seen a better neck
Its too short he repeated teasingly
Short Her tone expressed exasperated wonder
Short Youre crazy She elongated and contracted it to convince herself of its reptilian sinuousness Do you call that a short neck
One of the shortest Ive ever seen
For the first time in weeks tears started from Glorias eyes and the look she gave him had a quality of real pain
Oh Anthony—
My Lord Gloria He approached her in bewilderment and took her elbows in his hands Dont cry please Didnt you know I was only kidding Gloria look at me Why dearest youve got the longest neck Ive ever seen Honestly
Her tears dissolved in a twisted smile
Well—you shouldnt have said that then Lets talk about the bbaby
Anthony paced the floor and spoke as though rehearsing for a debate
To put it briefly there are two babies we could have two distinct and logical babies utterly differentiated Theres the baby thats the combination of the best of both of us Your body my eyes my mind your intelligence—and then there is the baby which is our worst—my body your disposition and my irresolution
I like that second baby she said
What Id really like continued Anthony would be to have two sets of triplets one year apart and then experiment with the six boys—
Poor me she interjected
—Id educate them each in a different country and by a different system and when they were twentythree Id call them together and see what they were like
Lets have em all with my neck suggested Gloria
THE END OF A CHAPTER
The car was at length repaired and with a deliberate vengeance took up where it left off the business of causing infinite dissension Who should drive How fast should Gloria go These two questions and the eternal recriminations involved ran through the days They motored to the PostRoad towns Rye Portchester and Greenwich and called on a dozen friends mostly Glorias who all seemed to be in different stages of having babies and in this respect as well as in others bored her to a point of nervous distraction For an hour after each visit she would bite her fingers furiously and be inclined to take out her rancor on Anthony
I loathe women she cried in a mild temper What on earth can you say to them—except talk ladylady Ive enthused over a dozen babies that Ive wanted only to choke And every one of those girls is either incipiently jealous and suspicious of her husband if hes charming or beginning to be bored with him if he isnt
Dont you ever intend to see any women
I dont know They never seem clean to me—never—never Except just a few Constance Shaw—you know the Mrs Merriam who came over to see us last Tuesday—is almost the only one Shes so tall and freshlooking and stately
I dont like them so tall
Though they went to several dinner dances at various country clubs they decided that the autumn was too nearly over for them to go out on any scale even had they been so inclined He hated golf Gloria liked it only mildly and though she enjoyed a violent rush that some undergraduates gave her one night and was glad that Anthony should be proud of her beauty she also perceived that their hostess for the evening a Mrs Granby was somewhat disquieted by the fact that Anthonys classmate Alec Granby joined with enthusiasm in the rush The Granbys never phoned again and though Gloria laughed it piqued her not a little
You see she explained to Anthony if I wasnt married it wouldnt worry her—but shes been to the movies in her day and she thinks I may be a vampire But the point is that placating such people requires an effort that Im simply unwilling to make… And those cute little freshmen making eyes at me and paying me idiotic compliments Ive grown up Anthony
Marietta itself offered little social life Half a dozen farmestates formed a hectagon around it but these belonged to ancient men who displayed themselves only as inert graythatched lumps in the back of limousines on their way to the station whither they were sometimes accompanied by equally ancient and doubly massive wives The townspeople were a particularly uninteresting type—unmarried females were predominant for the most part—with schoolfestival horizons and souls bleak as the forbidding white architecture of the three churches The only native with whom they came into close contact was the broadhipped broadshouldered Swedish girl who came every day to do their work She was silent and efficient and Gloria after finding her weeping violently into her bowed arms upon the kitchen table developed an uncanny fear of her and stopped complaining about the food Because of her untold and esoteric grief the girl stayed on
Glorias penchant for premonitions and her bursts of vague supernaturalism were a surprise to Anthony Either some complex properly and scientifically inhibited in the early years with her Bilphistic mother or some inherited hypersensitiveness made her susceptible to any suggestion of the psychic and far from gullible about the motives of people she was inclined to credit any extraordinary happening attributed to the whimsical perambulations of the buried The desperate squeakings about the old house on windy nights that to Anthony were burglars with revolvers ready in hand represented to Gloria the auras evil and restive of dead generations expiating the inexpiable upon the ancient and romantic hearth One night because of two swift bangs downstairs which Anthony fearfully but unavailingly investigated they lay awake nearly until dawn asking each other examinationpaper questions about the history of the world
In October Muriel came out for a two weeks visit Gloria had called her on longdistance and Miss Kane ended the conversation characteristically by saying Allllll righty Ill be there with bells She arrived with a dozen popular songs under her arm
You ought to have a phonograph out here in the country she said just a little Vic—they dont cost much Then whenever youre lonesome you can have Caruso or Al Jolson right at your door
She worried Anthony to distraction by telling him that he was the first clever man she had ever known and she got so tired of shallow people He wondered that people fell in love with such women Yet he supposed that under a certain impassioned glance even she might take on a softness and promise
But Gloria violently showing off her love for Anthony was diverted into a state of purring content
Finally Richard Caramel arrived for a garrulous and to Gloria painfully literary weekend during which he discussed himself with Anthony long after she lay in childlike sleep upstairs
Its been mighty funny this success and all said Dick Just before the novel appeared Id been trying without success to sell some short stories Then after my book came out I polished up three and had them accepted by one of the magazines that had rejected them before Ive done a lot of them since publishers dont pay me for my book till this winter
Dont let the victor belong to the spoils
You mean write trash He considered If you mean deliberately injecting a slushy fadeout into each one Im not But I dont suppose Im being so careful Im certainly writing faster and I dont seem to be thinking as much as I used to Perhaps its because I dont get any conversation now that youre married and Maurys gone to Philadelphia Havent the old urge and ambition Early success and all that
Doesnt it worry you
Frantically I get a thing I call sentencefever that must be like buckfever—its a sort of intense literary selfconsciousness that comes when I try to force myself But the really awful days arent when I think I cant write Theyre when I wonder whether any writing is worth while at all—I mean whether Im not a sort of glorified buffoon
I like to hear you talk that way said Anthony with a touch of his old patronizing insolence I was afraid youd gotten a bit idiotic over your work Read the damnedest interview you gave out——
Dick interrupted with an agonized expression
Good Lord Dont mention it Young lady wrote it—most admiring young lady Kept telling me my work was strong and I sort of lost my head and made a lot of strange pronouncements Some of it was good though dont you think
Oh yes that part about the wise writer writing for the youth of his generation the critic of the next and the schoolmaster of ever afterward
Oh I believe a lot of it admitted Richard Caramel with a faint beam
It simply was a mistake to give it out
In November they moved into Anthonys apartment from which they sallied triumphantly to the YaleHarvard and HarvardPrinceton football games to the St Nicholas iceskating rink to a thorough round of the theatres and to a miscellany of entertainments—from small staid dances to the great affairs that Gloria loved held in those few houses where lackeys with powdered wigs scurried around in magnificent Anglomania under the direction of gigantic majordomos Their intention was to go abroad the first of the year or at any rate when the war was over Anthony had actually completed a Chestertonian essay on the twelfth century by way of introduction to his proposed book and Gloria had done some extensive research work on the question of Russian sable coats—in fact the winter was approaching quite comfortably when the Bilphistic demiurge decided suddenly in midDecember that Mrs Gilberts soul had aged sufficiently in its present incarnation In consequence Anthony took a miserable and hysterical Gloria out to Kansas City where in the fashion of mankind they paid the terrible and mindshaking deference to the dead
Mr Gilbert became for the first and last time in his life a truly pathetic figure That woman he had broken to wait upon his body and play congregation to his mind had ironically deserted him—just when he could not much longer have supported her Never again would he be able so satisfactorily to bore and bully a human soul
CHAPTER II
SYMPOSIUM
Gloria had lulled Anthonys mind to sleep She who seemed of all women the wisest and the finest hung like a brilliant curtain across his doorways shutting out the light of the sun In those first years what he believed bore invariably the stamp of Gloria he saw the sun always through the pattern of the curtain
It was a sort of lassitude that brought them back to Marietta for another summer Through a golden enervating spring they had loitered restive and lazily extravagant along the California coast joining other parties intermittently and drifting from Pasadena to Coronado from Coronado to Santa Barbara with no purpose more apparent than Glorias desire to dance by different music or catch some infinitesimal variant among the changing colors of the sea Out of the Pacific there rose to greet them savage rocklands and equally barbaric hostelries built that at teatime one might drowse into a languid wicker bazaar glorified by the polo costumes of Southhampton and Lake Forest and Newport and Palm Beach And as the waves met and splashed and glittered in the most placid of the bays so they joined this group and that and with them shifted stations murmuring ever of those strange unsubstantial gaieties in wait just over the next green and fruitful valley
A simple healthy leisure class it was—the best of the men not unpleasantly undergraduate—they seemed to be on a perpetual candidates list for some etherealized Porcellian or Skull and Bones extended out indefinitely into the world the women of more than average beauty fragilely athletic somewhat idiotic as hostesses but charming and infinitely decorative as guests Sedately and gracefully they danced the steps of their selection in the balmy tea hours accomplishing with a certain dignity the movements so horribly burlesqued by clerk and chorus girl the country over It seemed ironic that in this lone and discredited offspring of the arts Americans should excel unquestionably
Having danced and splashed through a lavish spring Anthony and Gloria found that they had spent too much money and for this must go into retirement for a certain period There was Anthonys work they said Almost before they knew it they were back in the gray house more aware now that other lovers had slept there other names had been called over the banisters other couples had sat upon the porch steps watching the graygreen fields and the black bulk of woods beyond
It was the same Anthony more restless inclined to quicken only under the stimulus of several highballs faintly almost imperceptibly apathetic toward Gloria But Gloria—she would be twentyfour in August and was in an attractive but sincere panic about it Six years to thirty Had she been less in love with Anthony her sense of the flight of time would have expressed itself in a reawakened interest in other men in a deliberate intention of extracting a transient gleam of romance from every potential lover who glanced at her with lowered brows over a shining dinner table She said to Anthony one day
How I feel is that if I wanted anything Id take it Thats what Ive always thought all my life But it happens that I want you and so I just havent room for any other desires
They were bound eastward through a parched and lifeless Indiana and she had looked up from one of her beloved moving picture magazines to find a casual conversation suddenly turned grave
Anthony frowned out the car window As the track crossed a country road a farmer appeared momentarily in his wagon he was chewing on a straw and was apparently the same farmer they had passed a dozen times before sitting in silent and malignant symbolism As Anthony turned to Gloria his frown intensified
You worry me he objected I can imagine wanting another woman under certain transitory circumstances but I cant imagine taking her
But I dont feel that way Anthony I cant be bothered resisting things I want My way is not to want them—to want nobody but you
Yet when I think that if you just happened to take a fancy to some one—
Oh dont be an idiot she exclaimed Thered be nothing casual about it And I cant even imagine the possibility
This emphatically closed the conversation Anthonys unfailing appreciation made her happier in his company than in any ones else She definitely enjoyed him—she loved him So the summer began very much as had the one before
There was however one radical change in ménage The icyhearted Scandinavian whose austere cooking and sardonic manner of waiting on table had so depressed Gloria gave way to an exceedingly efficient Japanese whose name was Tanalahaka but who confessed that he heeded any summons which included the dissyllable Tana
Tana was unusually small even for a Japanese and displayed a somewhat naïve conception of himself as a man of the world On the day of his arrival from R Gugimoniki Japanese Reliable Employment Agency he called Anthony into his room to see the treasures of his trunk These included a large collection of Japanese post cards which he was all for explaining to his employer at once individually and at great length Among them were half a dozen of pornographic intent and plainly of American origin though the makers had modestly omitted both their names and the form for mailing He next brought out some of his own handiwork—a pair of American pants which he had made himself and two suits of solid silk underwear He informed Anthony confidentially as to the purpose for which these latter were reserved The next exhibit was a rather good copy of an etching of Abraham Lincoln to whose face he had given an unmistakable Japanese cast Last came a flute he had made it himself but it was broken he was going to fix it soon
After these polite formalities which Anthony conjectured must be native to Japan Tana delivered a long harangue in splintered English on the relation of master and servant from which Anthony gathered that he had worked on large estates but had always quarrelled with the other servants because they were not honest They had a great time over the word honest and in fact became rather irritated with each other because Anthony persisted stubbornly that Tana was trying to say hornets and even went to the extent of buzzing in the manner of a bee and flapping his arms to imitate wings
After threequarters of an hour Anthony was released with the warm assurance that they would have other nice chats in which Tana would tell how we do in my countree
Such was Tanas garrulous première in the gray house—and he fulfilled its promise Though he was conscientious and honorable he was unquestionably a terrific bore He seemed unable to control his tongue sometimes continuing from paragraph to paragraph with a look akin to pain in his small brown eyes
Sunday and Monday afternoons he read the comic sections of the newspapers One cartoon which contained a facetious Japanese butler diverted him enormously though he claimed that the protagonist who to Anthony appeared clearly Oriental had really an American face The difficulty with the funny paper was that when aided by Anthony he had spelled out the last three pictures and assimilated their context with a concentration surely adequate for Kants Critique he had entirely forgotten what the first pictures were about
In the middle of June Anthony and Gloria celebrated their first anniversary by having a date Anthony knocked at the door and she ran to let him in Then they sat together on the couch calling over those names they had made for each other new combinations of endearments ages old Yet to this date was appended no attenuated goodnight with its ecstasy of regret
Later in June horror leered out at Gloria struck at her and frightened her bright soul back half a generation Then slowly it faded out faded back into that impenetrable darkness whence it had come—taking relentlessly its modicum of youth
With an infallible sense of the dramatic it chose a little railroad station in a wretched village near Portchester The station platform lay all day bare as a prairie exposed to the dusty yellow sun and to the glance of that most obnoxious type of countryman who lives near a metropolis and has attained its cheap smartness without its urbanity A dozen of these yokels redeyed cheerless as scarecrows saw the incident Dimly it passed across their confused and uncomprehending minds taken at its broadest for a coarse joke at its subtlest for a shame Meanwhile there upon the platform a measure of brightness faded from the world
With Eric Merriam Anthony had been sitting over a decanter of Scotch all the hot summer afternoon while Gloria and Constance Merriam swam and sunned themselves at the Beach Club the latter under a striped parasolawning Gloria stretched sensuously upon the soft hot sand tanning her inevitable legs Later they had all four played with inconsequential sandwiches then Gloria had risen tapping Anthonys knee with her parasol to get his attention
Weve got to go dear
Now He looked at her unwillingly At that moment nothing seemed of more importance than to idle on that shady porch drinking mellowed Scotch while his host reminisced interminably on the byplay of some forgotten political campaign
Weve really got to go repeated Gloria We can get a taxi to the station… Come on Anthony she commanded a bit more imperiously
Now see here— Merriam his yarn cut off made conventional objections meanwhile provocatively filling his guests glass with a highball that should have been sipped through ten minutes But at Glorias annoyed We really must Anthony drank it off got to his feet and made an elaborate bow to his hostess
It seems we must he said with little grace
In a minute he was following Gloria down a gardenwalk between tall rosebushes her parasol brushing gently the Juneblooming leaves Most inconsiderate he thought as they reached the road He felt with injured naïvete that Gloria should not have interrupted such innocent and harmless enjoyment The whiskey had both soothed and clarified the restless things in his mind It occurred to him that she had taken this same attitude several times before Was he always to retreat from pleasant episodes at a touch of her parasol or a flicker of her eye His unwillingness blurred to ill will which rose within him like a resistless bubble He kept silent perversely inhibiting a desire to reproach her They found a taxi in front of the Inn rode silently to the little station…
Then Anthony knew what he wanted—to assert his will against this cool and impervious girl to obtain with one magnificent effort a mastery that seemed infinitely desirable
Lets go over to see the Barneses he said without looking at her I dont feel like going home
—Mrs Barnes née Rachael Jerryl had a summer place several miles from
Redgate
We went there day before yesterday she answered shortly
Im sure theyd be glad to see us He felt that that was not a strong enough note braced himself stubbornly and added I want to see the Barneses I havent any desire to go home
Well I havent any desire to go to the Barneses
Suddenly they stared at each other
Why Anthony she said with annoyance this is Sunday night and they probably have guests for supper Why we should go in at this hour—
Then why couldnt we have stayed at the Merriams he burst out Why go home when we were having a perfectly decent time They asked us to supper
They had to Give me the money and Ill get the railroad tickets
I certainly will not Im in no humour for a ride in that damn hot train
Gloria stamped her foot on the platform
Anthony you act as if youre tight
On the contrary Im perfectly sober
But his voice had slipped into a husky key and she knew with certainty that this was untrue
If youre sober youll give me the money for the tickets
But it was too late to talk to him that way In his mind was but one idea—that Gloria was being selfish that she was always being selfish and would continue to be unless here and now he asserted himself as her master This was the occasion of all occasions since for a whim she had deprived him of a pleasure His determination solidified approached momentarily a dull and sullen hate
I wont go in the train he said his voice trembling a little with anger Were going to the Barneses
Im not she cried If you go Im going home alone
Go on then
Without a word she turned toward the ticket office simultaneously he remembered that she had some money with her and that this was not the sort of victory he wanted the sort he must have He took a step after her and seized her arm
See here he muttered youre not going alone
I certainly am—why Anthony This exclamation as she tried to pull away from him and he only tightened his grasp
He looked at her with narrowed and malicious eyes
Let go Her cry had a quality of fierceness If you have any decency youll let go
Why He knew why But he took a confused and not quite confident pride in holding her there
Im going home do you understand And youre going to let me go
No Im not
Her eyes were burning now
Are you going to make a scene here
I say youre not going Im tired of your eternal selfishness
I only want to go home Two wrathful tears started from her eyes
This time youre going to do what I say
Slowly her body straightened her head went back in a gesture of infinite scorn
I hate you Her low words were expelled like venom through her clenched teeth Oh let me go Oh I hate you She tried to jerk herself away but he only grasped the other arm I hate you I hate you
At Glorias fury his uncertainty returned but he felt that now he had gone too far to give in It seemed that he had always given in and that in her heart she had despised him for it Ah she might hate him now but afterward she would admire him for his dominance
The approaching train gave out a premonitory siren that tumbled melodramatically toward them down the glistening blue tracks Gloria tugged and strained to free herself and words older than the Book of Genesis came to her lips
Oh you brute she sobbed Oh you brute Oh I hate you Oh you brute Oh—
On the station platform other prospective passengers were beginning to turn and stare the drone of the train was audible it increased to a clamor Glorias efforts redoubled then ceased altogether and she stood there trembling and hoteyed at this helpless humiliation as the engine roared and thundered into the station
Low below the flood of steam and the grinding of the brakes came her voice
Oh if there was one man here you couldnt do this You couldnt do this You coward You coward oh you coward
Anthony silent trembling himself gripped her rigidly aware that faces dozens of them curiously unmoved shadows of a dream were regarding him Then the bells distilled metallic crashes that were like physical pain the smokestacks volleyed in slow acceleration at the sky and in a moment of noise and gray gaseous turbulence the line of faces ran by moved off became indistinct—until suddenly there was only the sun slanting east across the tracks and a volume of sound decreasing far off like a train made out of tin thunder He dropped her arms He had won
Now if he wished he might laugh The test was done and he had sustained his will with violence Let leniency walk in the wake of victory
Well hire a car here and drive back to Marietta he said with fine reserve
For answer Gloria seized his hand with both of hers and raising it to her mouth bit deeply into his thumb He scarcely noticed the pain seeing the blood spurt he absentmindedly drew out his handkerchief and wrapped the wound That too was part of the triumph he supposed—it was inevitable that defeat should thus be resented—and as such was beneath notice
She was sobbing almost without tears profoundly and bitterly
I wont go I wont go You—cant—make—me—go Youve—youve killed any love I ever had for you and any respect But all thats left in me would die before Id move from this place Oh if Id thought youd lay your hands on me—
Youre going with me he said brutally if I have to carry you
He turned beckoned to a taxicab told the driver to go to Marietta The man dismounted and swung the door open Anthony faced his wife and said between his clenched teeth
Will you get in—or will I put you in
With a subdued cry of infinite pain and despair she yielded herself up and got into the car
All the long ride through the increasing dark of twilight she sat huddled in her side of the car her silence broken by an occasional dry and solitary sob Anthony stared out the window his mind working dully on the slowly changing significance of what had occurred Something was wrong—that last cry of Glorias had struck a chord which echoed posthumously and with incongruous disquiet in his heart He must be right—yet she seemed such a pathetic little thing now broken and dispirited humiliated beyond the measure of her lot to bear The sleeves of her dress were torn her parasol was gone forgotten on the platform It was a new costume he remembered and she had been so proud of it that very morning when they had left the house… He began wondering if any one they knew had seen the incident And persistently there recurred to him her cry
All thats left in me would die—
This gave him a confused and increasing worry It fitted so well with the Gloria who lay in the corner—no longer a proud Gloria nor any Gloria he had known He asked himself if it were possible While he did not believe she would cease to love him—this of course was unthinkable—it was yet problematical whether Gloria without her arrogance her independence her virginal confidence and courage would be the girl of his glory the radiant woman who was precious and charming because she was ineffably triumphantly herself
He was very drunk even then so drunk as not to realize his own drunkenness When they reached the gray house he went to his own room and his mind still wrestling helplessly and sombrely with what he had done fell into a deep stupor on his bed
It was after one oclock and the hall seemed extraordinarily quiet when Gloria wideeyed and sleepless traversed it and pushed open the door of his room He had been too befuddled to open the windows and the air was stale and thick with whiskey She stood for a moment by his bed a slender exquisitely graceful figure in her boyish silk pajamas—then with abandon she flung herself upon him half waking him in the frantic emotion of her embrace dropping her warm tears upon his throat
Oh Anthony she cried passionately oh my darling you dont know what you did
Yet in the morning coming early into her room he knelt down by her bed and cried like a little boy as though it was his heart that had been broken
It seemed last night she said gravely her fingers playing in his hair that all the part of me you loved the part that was worth knowing all the pride and fire was gone I knew that what was left of me would always love you but never in quite the same way
Nevertheless she was aware even then that she would forget in time and that it is the manner of life seldom to strike but always to wear away After that morning the incident was never mentioned and its deep wound healed with Anthonys hand—and if there was triumph some darker force than theirs possessed it possessed the knowledge and the victory
NIETZSCHEAN INCIDENT
Glorias independence like all sincere and profound qualities had begun unconsciously but once brought to her attention by Anthonys fascinated discovery of it it assumed more nearly the proportions of a formal code From her conversation it might be assumed that all her energy and vitality went into a violent affirmation of the negative principle Never give a damn
Not for anything or anybody she said except myself and by implication for Anthony Thats the rule of all life and if it werent Id be that way anyhow Nobodyd do anything for me if it didnt gratify them to and Id do as little for them
She was on the front porch of the nicest lady in Marietta when she said this and as she finished she gave a curious little cry and sank in a dead faint to the porch floor
The lady brought her to and drove her home in her car It had occurred to the estimable Gloria that she was probably with child
She lay upon the long lounge downstairs Day was slipping warmly out the window touching the late roses on the porch pillars
All I think of ever is that I love you she wailed I value my body because you think its beautiful And this body of mine—of yours—to have it grow ugly and shapeless Its simply intolerable Oh Anthony Im not afraid of the pain
He consoled her desperately—but in vain She continued
And then afterward I might have wide hips and be pale with all my freshness gone and no radiance in my hair
He paced the floor with his hands in his pockets asking
Is it certain
I dont know anything Ive always hated obstrics or whatever you call them I thought Id have a child some time But not now
Well for Gods sake dont lie there and go to pieces
Her sobs lapsed She drew down a merciful silence from the twilight which filled the room Turn on the lights she pleaded These days seem so short—June seemed—to—have—longer days when I was a little girl
The lights snapped on and it was as though blue drapes of softest silk had been dropped behind the windows and the door Her pallor her immobility without grief now or joy awoke his sympathy
Do you want me to have it she asked listlessly
Im indifferent That is Im neutral If you have it Ill probably be glad If you dont—well thats all right too
I wish youd make up your mind one way or the other
Suppose you make up your mind
She looked at him contemptuously scorning to answer
Youd think youd been singled out of all the women in the world for this crowning indignity
What if I do she cried angrily It isnt an indignity for them Its their one excuse for living Its the one thing theyre good for It is an indignity for me
See here Gloria Im with you whatever you do but for Gods sake be a sport about it
Oh dont fuss at me she wailed
They exchanged a mute look of no particular significance but of much stress Then Anthony took a book from the shelf and dropped into a chair
Half an hour later her voice came out of the intense stillness that pervaded the room and hung like incense on the air
Ill drive over and see Constance Merriam tomorrow
All right And Ill go to Tarrytown and see Grampa
—You see she added it isnt that Im afraid—of this or anything else Im being true to me you know
I know he agreed
THE PRACTICAL MEN
Adam Patch in a pious rage against the Germans subsisted on the war news Pin maps plastered his walls atlases were piled deep on tables convenient to his hand together with Photographic Histories of the World War official Explainalls and the Personal Impressions of war correspondents and of Privates X Y and Z Several times during Anthonys visit his grandfathers secretary Edward Shuttleworth the onetime Accomplished Ginphysician of Pats Place in Hoboken now shod with righteous indignation would appear with an extra The old man attacked each paper with untiring fury tearing out those columns which appeared to him of sufficient pregnancy for preservation and thrusting them into one of his already bulging files
Well what have you been doing he asked Anthony blandly Nothing Well I thought so Ive been intending to drive over and see you all summer
Ive been writing Dont you remember the essay I sent you—the one I sold to The Florentine last winter
Essay You never sent me any essay
Oh yes I did We talked about it
Adam Patch shook his head mildly
Oh no You never sent me any essay You may have thought you sent it but it never reached me
Why you read it Grampa insisted Anthony somewhat exasperated you read it and disagreed with it
The old man suddenly remembered but this was made apparent only by a partial falling open of his mouth displaying rows of gray gums Eying Anthony with a green and ancient stare he hesitated between confessing his error and covering it up
So youre writing he said quickly Well why dont you go over and write about these Germans Write something real something about whats going on something people can read
Anybody cant be a war correspondent objected Anthony You have to have some newspaper willing to buy your stuff And I cant spare the money to go over as a freelance
Ill send you over suggested his grandfather surprisingly Ill get you over as an authorized correspondent of any newspaper you pick out
Anthony recoiled from the idea—almost simultaneously he bounded toward it
I—dont—know—
He would have to leave Gloria whose whole life yearned toward him and enfolded him Gloria was in trouble Oh the thing wasnt feasible—yet—he saw himself in khaki leaning as all war correspondents lean upon a heavy stick portfolio at shoulder—trying to look like an Englishman Id like to think it over he confessed Its certainly very kind of you Ill think it over and Ill let you know
Thinking it over absorbed him on the journey to New York He had had one of those sudden flashes of illumination vouchsafed to all men who are dominated by a strong and beloved woman which show them a world of harder men more fiercely trained and grappling with the abstractions of thought and war In that world the arms of Gloria would exist only as the hot embrace of a chance mistress coolly sought and quickly forgotten…
These unfamiliar phantoms were crowding closely about him when he boarded his train for Marietta in the Grand Central Station The car was crowded he secured the last vacant seat and it was only after several minutes that he gave even a casual glance to the man beside him When he did he saw a heavy lay of jaw and nose a curved chin and small puffedunder eyes In a moment he recognized Joseph Bloeckman
Simultaneously they both half rose were half embarrassed and exchanged what amounted to a half handshake Then as though to complete the matter they both half laughed
Well remarked Anthony without inspiration I havent seen you for a long time Immediately he regretted his words and started to add I didnt know you lived out this way But Bloeckman anticipated him by asking pleasantly
Hows your wife …
Shes very well Howve you been
Excellent His tone amplified the grandeur of the word
It seemed to Anthony that during the last year Bloeckman had grown tremendously in dignity The boiled look was gone he seemed done at last In addition he was no longer overdressed The inappropriate facetiousness he had affected in ties had given way to a sturdy dark pattern and his right hand which had formerly displayed two heavy rings was now innocent of ornament and even without the raw glow of a manicure
This dignity appeared also in his personality The last aura of the successful travellingman had faded from him that deliberate ingratiation of which the lowest form is the bawdy joke in the Pullman smoker One imagined that having been fawned upon financially he had attained aloofness having been snubbed socially he had acquired reticence But whatever had given him weight instead of bulk Anthony no longer felt a correct superiority in his presence
Dyou remember Caramel Richard Caramel I believe you met him one night
I remember He was writing a book
Well he sold it to the movies Then they had some scenario man named Jordan work on it Well Dick subscribes to a clipping bureau and hes furious because about half the movie reviewers speak of the power and strength of William Jordans Demon Lover Didnt mention old Dick at all Youd think this fellow Jordan had actually conceived and developed the thing
Bloeckman nodded comprehensively
Most of the contracts state that the original writers name goes into all the paid publicity Is Caramel still writing
Oh yes Writing hard Short stories
Well thats fine thats fine… You on this train often
About once a week We live in Marietta
Is that so Well well I live near Cos Cob myself Bought a place there only recently Were only five miles apart
Youll have to come and see us Anthony was surprised at his own courtesy Im sure Gloriad be delighted to see an old friend Anybodyll tell you where the house is—its our second season there
Thank you Then as though returning a complementary politeness How is your grandfather
Hes been well I had lunch with him today
A great character said Bloeckman severely A fine example of an
American
THE TRIUMPH OF LETHARGY
Anthony found his wife deep in the porch hammock voluptuously engaged with a lemonade and a tomato sandwich and carrying on an apparently cheery conversation with Tana upon one of Tanas complicated themes
In my countree Anthony recognized his invariable preface all time—peoples—eat rice—because havent got Cannot eat what no have got Had his nationality not been desperately apparent one would have thought he had acquired his knowledge of his native land from American primaryschool geographies
When the Oriental had been squelched and dismissed to the kitchen
Anthony turned questioningly to Gloria
Its all right she announced smiling broadly And it surprised me more than it does you
Theres no doubt
None Couldnt be
They rejoiced happily gay again with reborn irresponsibility Then he told her of his opportunity to go abroad and that he was almost ashamed to reject it
What do you think Just tell me frankly
Why Anthony Her eyes were startled Do you want to go Without me
His face fell—yet he knew with his wifes question that it was too late Her arms sweet and strangling were around him for he had made all such choices back in that room in the Plaza the year before This was an anachronism from an age of such dreams
Gloria he lied in a great burst of comprehension of course I dont I was thinking you might go as a nurse or something He wondered dully if his grandfather would consider this
As she smiled he realized again how beautiful she was a gorgeous girl of miraculous freshness and sheerly honorable eyes She embraced his suggestion with luxurious intensity holding it aloft like a sun of her own making and basking in its beams She strung together an amazing synopsis for an extravaganza of martial adventure
After supper surfeited with the subject she yawned She wanted not to talk but only to read Penrod stretched upon the lounge until at midnight she fell asleep But Anthony after he had carried her romantically up the stairs stayed awake to brood upon the day vaguely angry with her vaguely dissatisfied
What am I going to do he began at breakfast Here weve been married a year and weve just worried around without even being efficient people of leisure
Yes you ought to do something she admitted being in an agreeable and loquacious humor This was not the first of these discussions but as they usually developed Anthony in the rôle of protagonist she had come to avoid them
Its not that I have any moral compunctions about work he continued but grampa may die tomorrow and he may live for ten years Meanwhile were living above our income and all weve got to show for it is a farmers car and a few clothes We keep an apartment that weve only lived in three months and a little old house way off in nowhere Were frequently bored and yet we wont make any effort to know any one except the same crowd who drift around California all summer wearing sport clothes and waiting for their families to die
How youve changed remarked Gloria Once you told me you didnt see why an American couldnt loaf gracefully
Well damn it I wasnt married And the old mind was working at top speed and now its going round and round like a cogwheel with nothing to catch it As a matter of fact I think that if I hadnt met you I would have done something But you make leisure so subtly attractive—
Oh its all my fault—
I didnt mean that and you know I didnt But here Im almost twentyseven and—
Oh she interrupted in vexation you make me tired Talking as though
I were objecting or hindering you
I was just discussing it Gloria Cant I discuss—
I should think youd be strong enough to settle—
—something with you without—
—your own problems without coming to me You talk a lot about going to work I could use more money very easily but Im not complaining Whether you work or not I love you Her last words were gentle as fine snow upon hard ground But for the moment neither was attending to the other—they were each engaged in polishing and perfecting his own attitude
I have worked—some This by Anthony was an imprudent bringing up of raw reserves Gloria laughed torn between delight and derision she resented his sophistry as at the same time she admired his nonchalance She would never blame him for being the ineffectual idler so long as he did it sincerely from the attitude that nothing much was worth doing
Work she scoffed Oh you sad bird You bluffer Work—that means a great arranging of the desk and the lights a great sharpening of pencils and Gloria dont sing and Please keep that damn Tana away from me and Let me read you my opening sentence and I wont be through for a long time Gloria so dont stay up for me and a tremendous consumption of tea or coffee And thats all In just about an hour I hear the old pencil stop scratching and look over Youve got out a book and youre looking up something Then youre reading Then yawns—then bed and a great tossing about because youre all full of caffeine and cant sleep Two weeks later the whole performance over again
With much difficulty Anthony retained a scanty breechclout of dignity
Now thats a slight exaggeration You know darn well I sold an essay to The Florentine—and it attracted a lot of attention considering the circulation of The Florentine And whats more Gloria you know I sat up till five oclock in the morning finishing it
She lapsed into silence giving him rope And if he had not hanged himself he had certainly come to the end of it
At least he concluded feebly Im perfectly willing to be a war correspondent
But so was Gloria They were both willing—anxious they assured each other of it The evening ended on a note of tremendous sentiment the majesty of leisure the ill health of Adam Patch love at any cost
Anthony she called over the banister one afternoon a week later theres some one at the door Anthony who had been lolling in the hammock on the sunspeckled south porch strolled around to the front of the house A foreign car large and impressive crouched like an immense and saturnine bug at the foot of the path A man in a soft pongee suit with cap to match hailed him
Hello there Patch Ran over to call on you
It was Bloeckman as always infinitesimally improved of subtler intonation of more convincing ease
Im awfully glad you did Anthony raised his voice to a vinecovered window Gloria Weve got a visitor
Im in the tub wailed Gloria politely
With a smile the two men acknowledged the triumph of her alibi
Shell be down Come round here on the sideporch Like a drink
Glorias always in the tub—good third of every day
Pity she doesnt live on the Sound
Cant afford it
As coming from Adam Patchs grandson Bloeckman took this as a form of pleasantry After fifteen minutes filled with estimable brilliancies Gloria appeared fresh in starched yellow bringing atmosphere and an increase of vitality
I want to be a successful sensation in the movies she announced I hear that Mary Pickford makes a million dollars annually
You could you know said Bloeckman I think youd film very well
Would you let me Anthony If I only play unsophisticated rôles
As the conversation continued in stilted commas Anthony wondered that to him and Bloeckman both this girl had once been the most stimulating the most tonic personality they had ever known—and now the three sat like overoiled machines without conflict without fear without elation heavily enamelled little figures secure beyond enjoyment in a world where death and war dull emotion and noble savagery were covering a continent with the smoke of terror
In a moment he would call Tana and they would pour into themselves a gay and delicate poison which would restore them momentarily to the pleasurable excitement of childhood when every face in a crowd had carried its suggestion of splendid and significant transactions taking place somewhere to some magnificent and illimitable purpose… Life was no more than this summer afternoon a faint wind stirring the lace collar of Glorias dress the slow baking drowsiness of the veranda… Intolerably unmoved they all seemed removed from any romantic imminency of action Even Glorias beauty needed wild emotions needed poignancy needed death…
… Any day next week Bloeckman was saying to Gloria Here—take this card What they do is to give you a test of about three hundred feet of film and they can tell pretty accurately from that
How about Wednesday
Wednesdays fine Just phone me and Ill go around with you—
He was on his feet shaking hands briskly—then his car was a wraith of dust down the road Anthony turned to his wife in bewilderment
Why Gloria
You dont mind if I have a trial Anthony Just a trial Ive got to go to town Wednesday _any_how
But its so silly You dont want to go into the movies—moon around a studio all day with a lot of cheap chorus people
Lot of mooning around Mary Pickford does
Everybody isnt a Mary Pickford
Well I cant see how youd object to my _try_ing
I do though I hate actors
Oh you make me tired Do you imagine I have a very thrilling time dozing on this damn porch
You wouldnt mind if you loved me
Of course I love you she said impatiently making out a quick case for herself Its just because I do that I hate to see you go to pieces by just lying around and saying you ought to work Perhaps if I did go into this for a while itd stir you up so youd do something
Its just your craving for excitement thats all it is
Maybe it is Its a perfectly natural craving isnt it
Well Ill tell you one thing If you go to the movies Im going to
Europe
Well go on then Im not stopping you
To show she was not stopping him she melted into melancholy tears Together they marshalled the armies of sentiment—words kisses endearments selfreproaches They attained nothing Inevitably they attained nothing Finally in a burst of gargantuan emotion each of them sat down and wrote a letter Anthonys was to his grandfather Glorias was to Joseph Bloeckman It was a triumph of lethargy
One day early in July Anthony returned from an afternoon in New York called upstairs to Gloria Receiving no answer he guessed she was asleep and so went into the pantry for one of the little sandwiches that were always prepared for them He found Tana seated at the kitchen table before a miscellaneous assortment of odds and ends—cigarboxes knives pencils the tops of cans and some scraps of paper covered with elaborate figures and diagrams
What the devil you doing demanded Anthony curiously
Tana politely grinned
I show you he exclaimed enthusiastically I tell—
You making a doghouse
No sa Tana grinned again Make typewutta
Typewriter
Yes sa I think oh all time I think lie in bed think bout typewutta
So you thought youd make one eh
Wait I tell
Anthony munching a sandwich leaned leisurely against the sink Tana opened and closed his mouth several times as though testing its capacity for action Then with a rush he began
I been think—typewutta—has oh many many many many thing Oh many many many many Many keys I see
Noo Yeskey Many many many many lettah Like so a-b-c."
Yes youre right
Wait I tell He screwed his face up in a tremendous effort to express himself I been think—many words—end same Like ing
You bet A whole raft of them
So—I make—typewutta—quick Not so many lettah—
Thats a great idea Tana Save time Youll make a fortune Press one key and theres ing Hope you work it out
Tana laughed disparagingly Wait I tell— Wheres Mrs Patch
She out Wait I tell— Again he screwed up his face for action My typewutta——
Where is she
Here—I make He pointed to the miscellany of junk on the table
I mean Mrs Patch
She out Tana reassured him She be back five oclock she say
Down in the village
No Went off before lunch She go Mr Bloeckman
Anthony started
Went out with Mr Bloeckman
She be back five
Without a word Anthony left the kitchen with Tanas disconsolate I tell trailing after him So this was Glorias idea of excitement by God His fists were clenched within a moment he had worked himself up to a tremendous pitch of indignation He went to the door and looked out there was no car in sight and his watch stood at four minutes of five With furious energy he dashed down to the end of the path—as far as the bend of the road a mile off he could see no car—except—but it was a farmers flivver Then in an undignified pursuit of dignity he rushed back to the shelter of the house as quickly as he had rushed out
Pacing up and down the living room he began an angry rehearsal of the speech he would make to her when she came in—
So this is love he would begin—or no it sounded too much like the popular phrase So this is Paris He must be dignified hurt grieved Anyhow—So this is what you do when I have to go up and trot all day around the hot city on business No wonder I cant write No wonder I dont dare let you out of my sight He was expanding now warming to his subject Ill tell you he continued Ill tell you— He paused catching a familiar ring in the words—then he realized—it was Tanas I tell
Yet Anthony neither laughed nor seemed absurd to himself To his frantic
imagination it was already six—seven—eight and she was never coming
Bloeckman finding her bored and unhappy had persuaded her to go to
California with him…
—There was a great todo out in front a joyous Yoho Anthony and he rose trembling weakly happy to see her fluttering up the path Bloeckman was following cap in hand
Dearest she cried
Weve been for the best jaunt—all over New York State
Ill have to be starting home said Bloeckman almost immediately
Wish youd both been here when I came
Im sorry I wasnt answered Anthony dryly When he had departed Anthony hesitated The fear was gone from his heart yet he felt that some protest was ethically apropos Gloria resolved his uncertainty
I knew you wouldnt mind He came just before lunch and said he had to go to Garrison on business and wouldnt I go with him He looked so lonesome Anthony And I drove his car all the way
Listlessly Anthony dropped into a chair his mind tired—tired with nothing tired with everything with the worlds weight he had never chosen to bear He was ineffectual and vaguely helpless here as he had always been One of those personalities who in spite of all their words are inarticulate he seemed to have inherited only the vast tradition of human failure—that and the sense of death
I suppose I dont care he answered
One must be broad about these things and Gloria being young being beautiful must have reasonable privileges Yet it wearied him that he failed to understand
WINTER
She rolled over on her back and lay still for a moment in the great bed watching the February sun suffer one last attenuated refinement in its passage through the leaded panes into the room For a time she had no accurate sense of her whereabouts or of the events of the day before or the day before that then like a suspended pendulum memory began to beat out its story releasing with each swing a burdened quota of time until her life was given back to her
She could hear now Anthonys troubled breathing beside her she could smell whiskey and cigarette smoke She noticed that she lacked complete muscular control when she moved it was not a sinuous motion with the resultant strain distributed easily over her body—it was a tremendous effort of her nervous system as though each time she were hypnotizing herself into performing an impossible action…
She was in the bathroom brushing her teeth to get rid of that intolerable taste then back by the bedside listening to the rattle of Boundss key in the outer door
Wake up Anthony she said sharply
She climbed into bed beside him and closed her eyes Almost the last thing she remembered was a conversation with Mr and Mrs Lacy Mrs Lacy had said Sure you dont want us to get you a taxi and Anthony had replied that he guessed they could walk over to Fifth all right Then they had both attempted imprudently to bow—and collapsed absurdly into a battalion of empty milk bottles just outside the door There must have been two dozen milk bottles standing openmouthed in the dark She could conceive of no plausible explanation of those milk bottles Perhaps they had been attracted by the singing in the Lacy house and had hurried over agape with wonder to see the fun Well theyd had the worst of it—though it seemed that she and Anthony never would get up the perverse things rolled so…
Still they had found a taxi My meters broken and itll cost you a dollar and a half to get home said the taxi driver Well said Anthony Im young Packy McFarland and if youll come down here Ill beat you till you cant stand up …At that point the man had driven off without them They must have found another taxi for they were in the apartment…
What time is it Anthony was sitting up in bed staring at her with owlish precision
This was obviously a rhetorical question Gloria could think of no reason why she should be expected to know the time
Golly I feel like the devil muttered Anthony dispassionately
Relaxing he tumbled back upon his pillow Bring on your grim reaper
Anthony howd we finally get home last night
Taxi
Oh Then after a pause Did you put me to bed
I dont know Seems to me you put me to bed What day is it
Tuesday
Tuesday I hope so If its Wednesday Ive got to start work at that idiotic place Supposed to be down at nine or some such ungodly hour
Ask Bounds suggested Gloria feebly
Bounds he called
Sprightly sober—a voice from a world that it seemed in the past two days they had left forever Bounds sprang in short steps down the hall and appeared in the half darkness of the door
What day Bounds
February the twentysecond I think sir
I mean day of the week
Tuesday sir Thanks After a pause Are you ready for breakfast sir
Yes and Bounds before you get it will you make a pitcher of water and set it here beside the bed Im a little thirsty
Yes sir
Bounds retreated in sober dignity down the hallway
Lincolns birthday affirmed Anthony without enthusiasm or St
Valentines or somebodys When did we start on this insane party
Sunday night
After prayers he suggested sardonically
We raced all over town in those hansoms and Maury sat up with his driver dont you remember Then we came home and he tried to cook some bacon—came out of the pantry with a few blackened remains insisting it was fried to the proverbial crisp
Both of them laughed spontaneously but with some difficulty and lying there side by side reviewed the chain of events that had ended in this rusty and chaotic dawn
They had been in New York for almost four months since the country had grown too cool in late October They had given up California this year partly because of lack of funds partly with the idea of going abroad should this interminable war persisting now into its second year end during the winter Of late their income had lost elasticity no longer did it stretch to cover gay whims and pleasant extravagances and Anthony had spent many puzzled and unsatisfactory hours over a densely figured pad making remarkable budgets that left huge margins for amusements trips etc and trying to apportion even approximately their past expenditures
He remembered a time when in going on a party with his two best friends he and Maury had invariably paid more than their share of the expenses They would buy the tickets for the theatre or squabble between themselves for the dinner check It had seemed fitting Dick with his naïveté and his astonishing fund of information about himself had been a diverting almost juvenile figure—court jester to their royalty But this was no longer true It was Dick who always had money it was Anthony who entertained within limitations—always excepting occasional wild wineinspired checkcashing parties—and it was Anthony who was solemn about it next morning and told the scornful and disgusted Gloria that theyd have to be more careful next time
In the two years since the publication of The Demon Lover Dick had made over twentyfive thousand dollars most of it lately when the reward of the author of fiction had begun to swell unprecedentedly as a result of the voracious hunger of the motion pictures for plots He received seven hundred dollars for every story at that time a large emolument for such a young man—he was not quite thirty—and for every one that contained enough action kissing shooting and sacrificing for the movies he obtained an additional thousand His stories varied there was a measure of vitality and a sort of instinctive in all of them but none attained the personality of The Demon Lover and there were several that Anthony considered downright cheap These Dick explained severely were to widen his audience Wasnt it true that men who had attained real permanence from Shakespeare to Mark Twain had appealed to the many as well as to the elect
Though Anthony and Maury disagreed Gloria told him to go ahead and make as much money as he could—that was the only thing that counted anyhow…
Maury a little stouter faintly mellower and more complaisant had gone to work in Philadelphia He came to New York once or twice a month and on such occasions the four of them travelled the popular routes from dinner to the theatre thence to the Frolic or perhaps at the urging of the evercurious Gloria to one of the cellars of Greenwich Village notorious through the furious but shortlived vogue of the new poetry movement
In January after many monologues directed at his reticent wife Anthony determined to get something to do for the winter at any rate He wanted to please his grandfather and even in a measure to see how he liked it himself He discovered during several tentative semisocial calls that employers were not interested in a young man who was only going to try it for a few months or so As the grandson of Adam Patch he was received everywhere with marked courtesy but the old man was a back number now—the heyday of his fame as first an oppressor and then an uplifter of the people had been during the twenty years preceding his retirement Anthony even found several of the younger men who were under the impression that Adam Patch had been dead for some years
Eventually Anthony went to his grandfather and asked his advice which turned out to be that he should enter the bond business as a salesman a tedious suggestion to Anthony but one that in the end he determined to follow Sheer money in deft manipulation had fascinations under all circumstances while almost any side of manufacturing would be insufferably dull He considered newspaper work but decided that the hours were not ordered for a married man And he lingered over pleasant fancies of himself either as editor of a brilliant weekly of opinion an American Mercure de France or as scintillant producer of satiric comedy and Parisian musical revue However the approaches to these latter guilds seemed to be guarded by professional secrets Men drifted into them by the devious highways of writing and acting It was palpably impossible to get on a magazine unless you had been on one before
So in the end he entered by way of his grandfathers letter that Sanctum Americanum where sat the president of Wilson Hiemer and Hardy at his cleared desk and issued therefrom employed He was to begin work on the twentythird of February
In tribute to the momentous occasion this twoday revel had been planned since he said after he began working hed have to get to bed early during the week Maury Noble had arrived from Philadelphia on a trip that had to do with seeing some man in Wall Street whom incidentally he failed to see and Richard Caramel had been half persuaded half tricked into joining them They had condescended to a wet and fashionable wedding on Monday afternoon and in the evening had occurred the dénouement Gloria going beyond her accustomed limit of four precisely timed cocktails led them on as gay and joyous a bacchanal as they had ever known disclosing an astonishing knowledge of ballet steps and singing songs which she confessed had been taught her by her cook when she was innocent and seventeen She repeated these by request at intervals throughout the evening with such frank conviviality that Anthony far from being annoyed was gratified at this fresh source of entertainment The occasion was memorable in other ways—a long conversation between Maury and a defunct crab which he was dragging around on the end of a string as to whether the crab was fully conversant with the applications of the binomial theorem and the aforementioned race in two hansom cabs with the sedate and impressive shadows of Fifth Avenue for audience ending in a labyrinthine escape into the darkness of Central Park Finally Anthony and Gloria had paid a call on some wild young married people—the Lacys—and collapsed in the empty milk bottles
Morning now—theirs to add up the checks cashed here and there in clubs stores restaurants Theirs to air the dank staleness of wine and cigarettes out of the tall blue front room to pick up the broken glass and brush at the stained fabric of chairs and sofas to give Bounds suits and dresses for the cleaners finally to take their smothery halffeverish bodies and faded depressed spirits out into the chill air of February that life might go on and Wilson Hiemer and Hardy obtain the services of a vigorous man at nine next morning
Do you remember called Anthony from the bathroom when Maury got out at the corner of One Hundred and Tenth Street and acted as a traffic cop beckoning cars forward and motioning them back They must have thought he was a private detective
After each reminiscence they both laughed inordinately their overwrought nerves responding as acutely and janglingly to mirth as to depression
Gloria at the mirror was wondering at the splendid color and freshness of her face—it seemed that she had never looked so well though her stomach hurt her and her head was aching furiously
The day passed slowly Anthony riding in a taxi to his brokers to borrow money on a bond found that he had only two dollars in his pocket The fare would cost all of that but he felt that on this particular afternoon he could not have endured the subway When the taximetre reached his limit he must get out and walk
With this his mind drifted off into one of its characteristic daydreams… In this dream he discovered that the metre was going too fast—the driver had dishonestly adjusted it Calmly he reached his destination and then nonchalantly handed the man what he justly owed him The man showed fight but almost before his hands were up Anthony had knocked him down with one terrific blow And when he rose Anthony quickly sidestepped and floored him definitely with a crack in the temple
… He was in court now The judge had fined him five dollars and he had no money Would the court take his check Ah but the court did not know him Well he could identify himself by having them call his apartment
… They did so Yes it was Mrs Anthony Patch speaking—but how did she know that this man was her husband How could she know Let the police sergeant ask her if she remembered the milk bottles …
He leaned forward hurriedly and tapped at the glass The taxi was only at Brooklyn Bridge but the metre showed a dollar and eighty cents and Anthony would never have omitted the ten per cent tip
Later in the afternoon he returned to the apartment Gloria had also been out—shopping—and was asleep curled in a corner of the sofa with her purchase locked securely in her arms Her face was as untroubled as a little girls and the bundle that she pressed tightly to her bosom was a childs doll a profound and infinitely healing balm to her disturbed and childish heart
DESTINY
It was with this party more especially with Glorias part in it that a decided change began to come over their way of living The magnificent attitude of not giving a damn altered overnight from being a mere tenet of Glorias it became the entire solace and justification for what they chose to do and what consequence it brought Not to be sorry not to loose one cry of regret to live according to a clear code of honor toward each other and to seek the moments happiness as fervently and persistently as possible
No one cares about us but ourselves Anthony she said one day Itd be ridiculous for me to go about pretending I felt any obligations toward the world and as for worrying what people think about me I simply dont thats all Since I was a little girl in dancingschool Ive been criticised by the mothers of all the little girls who werent as popular as I was and Ive always looked on criticism as a sort of envious tribute
This was because of a party in the Boul Mich one night where Constance Merriam had seen her as one of a highly stimulated party of four Constance Merriam as an old school friend had gone to the trouble of inviting her to lunch next day in order to inform her how terrible it was
I told her I couldnt see it Gloria told Anthony Eric Merriam is a sort of sublimated Percy Wolcott—you remember that man in Hot Springs I told you about—his idea of respecting Constance is to leave her at home with her sewing and her baby and her book and such innocuous amusements whenever hes going on a party that promises to be anything but deathly dull
Did you tell her that
I certainly did And I told her that what she really objected to was that I was having a better time than she was
Anthony applauded her He was tremendously proud of Gloria proud that she never failed to eclipse whatever other women might be in the party proud that men were always glad to revel with her in great rowdy groups without any attempt to do more than enjoy her beauty and the warmth of her vitality
These parties gradually became their chief source of entertainment Still in love still enormously interested in each other they yet found as spring drew near that staying at home in the evening palled on them books were unreal the old magic of being alone had long since vanished—instead they preferred to be bored by a stupid musical comedy or to go to dinner with the most uninteresting of their acquaintances so long as there would be enough cocktails to keep the conversation from becoming utterly intolerable A scattering of younger married people who had been their friends in school or college as well as a varied assortment of single men began to think instinctively of them whenever color and excitement were needed so there was scarcely a day without its phone call its Wondered what you were doing this evening Wives as a rule were afraid of Gloria—her facile attainment of the centre of the stage her innocent but nevertheless disturbing way of becoming a favorite with husbands—these things drove them instinctively into an attitude of profound distrust heightened by the fact that Gloria was largely unresponsive to any intimacy shown her by a woman
On the appointed Wednesday in February Anthony had gone to the imposing offices of Wilson Hiemer and Hardy and listened to many vague instructions delivered by an energetic young man of about his own age named Kahler who wore a defiant yellow pompadour and in announcing himself as an assistant secretary gave the impression that it was a tribute to exceptional ability
Theres two kinds of men here youll find he said Theres the man who gets to be an assistant secretary or treasurer gets his name on our folder here before hes thirty and theres the man who gets his name there at fortyfive The man who gets his name there at fortyfive stays there the rest of his life
How about the man who gets it there at thirty inquired Anthony politely
Why he gets up here you see He pointed to a list of assistant vicepresidents upon the folder Or maybe he gets to be president or secretary or treasurer
And what about these over here
Those Oh those are the trustees—the men with capital
I see
Now some people continued Kahler think that whether a man gets started early or late depends on whether hes got a college education But theyre wrong
I see
I had one I was Buckleigh class of nineteeneleven but when I came down to the Street I soon found that the things that would help me here werent the fancy things I learned in college In fact I had to get a lot of fancy stuff out of my head
Anthony could not help wondering what possible fancy stuff he had learned at Buckleigh in nineteeneleven An irrepressible idea that it was some sort of needlework recurred to him throughout the rest of the conversation
See that fellow over there Kahler pointed to a youngishlooking man with handsome gray hair sitting at a desk inside a mahogany railing Thats Mr Ellinger the first vicepresident Been everywhere seen everything got a fine education
In vain did Anthony try to open his mind to the romance of finance he could think of Mr Ellinger only as one of the buyers of the handsome leather sets of Thackeray Balzac Hugo and Gibbon that lined the walls of the big bookstores
Through the damp and uninspiring month of March he was prepared for salesmanship Lacking enthusiasm he was capable of viewing the turmoil and bustle that surrounded him only as a fruitless circumambient striving toward an incomprehensible goal tangibly evidenced only by the rival mansions of Mr Frick and Mr Carnegie on Fifth Avenue That these portentous vicepresidents and trustees should be actually the fathers of the best men he had known at Harvard seemed to him incongruous
He ate in an employees lunchroom upstairs with an uneasy suspicion that he was being uplifted wondering through that first week if the dozens of young clerks some of them alert and immaculate and just out of college lived in flamboyant hope of crowding onto that narrow slip of cardboard before the catastrophic thirties The conversation that interwove with the pattern of the days work was all much of a piece One discussed how Mr Wilson had made his money what method Mr Hiemer had employed and the means resorted to by Mr Hardy One related ageold but eternally breathless anecdotes of the fortunes stumbled on precipitously in the Street by a butcher or a bartender or a darn _mess_enger boy by golly and then one talked of the current gambles and whether it was best to go out for a hundred thousand a year or be content with twenty During the preceding year one of the assistant secretaries had invested all his savings in Bethlehem Steel The story of his spectacular magnificence of his haughty resignation in January and of the triumphal palace he was now building in California was the favorite office subject The mans very name had acquired a magic significance symbolizing as he did the aspirations of all good Americans Anecdotes were told about him—how one of the vicepresidents had advised him to sell by golly but he had hung on even bought on margin and now look where he is
Such obviously was the stuff of life—a dizzy triumph dazzling the eyes of all of them a gypsy siren to content them with meagre wage and with the arithmetical improbability of their eventual success
To Anthony the notion became appalling He felt that to succeed here the idea of success must grasp and limit his mind It seemed to him that the essential element in these men at the top was their faith that their affairs were the very core of life All other things being equal selfassurance and opportunism won out over technical knowledge it was obvious that the more expert work went on near the bottom—so with appropriate efficiency the technical experts were kept there
His determination to stay in at night during the week did not survive and a good half of the time he came to work with a splitting sickish headache and the crowded horror of the morning subway ringing in his ears like an echo of hell
Then abruptly he quit He had remained in bed all one Monday and late in the evening overcome by one of those attacks of moody despair to which he periodically succumbed he wrote and mailed a letter to Mr Wilson confessing that he considered himself ill adapted to the work Gloria coming in from the theatre with Richard Caramel found him on the lounge silently staring at the high ceiling more depressed and discouraged than he had been at any time since their marriage
She wanted him to whine If he had she would have reproached him bitterly for she was not a little annoyed but he only lay there so utterly miserable that she felt sorry for him and kneeling down she stroked his head saying how little it mattered how little anything mattered so long as they loved each other It was like their first year and Anthony reacting to her cool hand to her voice that was soft as breath itself upon his ear became almost cheerful and talked with her of his future plans He even regretted silently before he went to bed that he had so hastily mailed his resignation
Even when everything seems rotten you cant trust that judgment
Gloria had said Its the sum of all your judgments that counts
In midApril came a letter from the realestate agent in Marietta encouraging them to take the gray house for another year at a slightly increased rental and enclosing a lease made out for their signatures For a week lease and letter lay carelessly neglected on Anthonys desk They had no intention of returning to Marietta They were weary of the place and had been bored most of the preceding summer Besides their car had deteriorated to a rattling mass of hypochondriacal metal and a new one was financially inadvisable
But because of another wild revel enduring through four days and participated in at one time or another by more than a dozen people they did sign the lease to their utter horror they signed it and sent it and immediately it seemed as though they heard the gray house drably malevolent at last licking its white chops and waiting to devour them
Anthony wheres that lease she called in high alarm one Sunday morning sick and sober to reality Where did you leave it It was here
Then she knew where it was She remembered the house party they had planned on the crest of their exuberance she remembered a room full of men to whose less exhilarated moments she and Anthony were of no importance and Anthonys boast of the transcendent merit and seclusion of the gray house that it was so isolated that it didnt matter how much noise went on there Then Dick who had visited them cried enthusiastically that it was the best little house imaginable and that they were idiotic not to take it for another summer It had been easy to work themselves up to a sense of how hot and deserted the city was getting of how cool and ambrosial were the charms of Marietta Anthony had picked up the lease and waved it wildly found Gloria happily acquiescent and with one last burst of garrulous decision during which all the men agreed with solemn handshakes that they would come out for a visit …
Anthony she cried weve signed and sent it
What
The lease
What the devil
Oh _An_thony There was utter misery in her voice For the summer for eternity they had built themselves a prison It seemed to strike at the last roots of their stability Anthony thought they might arrange it with the realestate agent They could no longer afford the double rent and going to Marietta meant giving up his apartment his reproachless apartment with the exquisite bath and the rooms for which he had bought his furniture and hangings—it was the closest to a home that he had ever had—familiar with memories of four colorful years
But it was not arranged with the realestate agent nor was it arranged at all Dispiritedly without even any talk of making the best of it without even Glorias allsufficing I dont care they went back to the house that they now knew heeded neither youth nor love—only those austere and incommunicable memories that they could never share
THE SINISTER SUMMER
There was a horror in the house that summer It came with them and settled itself over the place like a sombre pall pervasive through the lower rooms gradually spreading and climbing up the narrow stairs until it oppressed their very sleep Anthony and Gloria grew to hate being there alone Her bedroom which had seemed so pink and young and delicate appropriate to her pastelshaded lingerie tossed here and there on chair and bed seemed now to whisper with its rustling curtains
Ah my beautiful young lady yours is not the first daintiness and delicacy that has faded here under the summer suns … generations of unloved women have adorned themselves by that glass for rustic lovers who paid no heed… Youth has come into this room in palest blue and left it in the gray cerements of despair and through long nights many girls have lain awake where that bed stands pouring out waves of misery into the darkness
Gloria finally tumbled all her clothes and unguents ingloriously out of it declaring that she had come to live with Anthony and making the excuse that one of her screens was rotten and admitted bugs So her room was abandoned to insensitive guests and they dressed and slept in her husbands chamber which Gloria considered somehow good as though Anthonys presence there had acted as exterminator of any uneasy shadows of the past that might have hovered about its walls
The distinction between good and bad ordered early and summarily out of both their lives had been reinstated in another form Gloria insisted that any one invited to the gray house must be good which in the case of a girl meant that she must be either simple and reproachless or if otherwise must possess a certain solidity and strength Always intensely sceptical of her sex her judgments were now concerned with the question of whether women were or were not clean By uncleanliness she meant a variety of things a lack of pride a slackness in fibre and most of all the unmistakable aura of promiscuity
Women soil easily she said far more easily than men Unless a girls very young and brave its almost impossible for her to go downhill without a certain hysterical animality the cunning dirty sort of animality A mans different—and I suppose thats why one of the commonest characters of romance is a man going gallantly to the devil
She was disposed to like many men preferably those who gave her frank homage and unfailing entertainment—but often with a flash of insight she told Anthony that some one of his friends was merely using him and consequently had best be left alone Anthony customarily demurred insisting that the accused was a good one but he found that his judgment was more fallible than hers memorably when as it happened on several occasions he was left with a succession of restaurant checks for which to render a solitary account
More from their fear of solitude than from any desire to go through the fuss and bother of entertaining they filled the house with guests every weekend and often on through the week The weekend parties were much the same When the three or four men invited had arrived drinking was more or less in order followed by a hilarious dinner and a ride to the Cradle Beach Country Club which they had joined because it was inexpensive lively if not fashionable and almost a necessity for just such occasions as these Moreover it was of no great moment what one did there and so long as the Patch party were reasonably inaudible it mattered little whether or not the social dictators of Cradle Beach saw the gay Gloria imbibing cocktails in the supper room at frequent intervals during the evening
Saturday ended generally in a glamourous confusion—it proving often necessary to assist a muddled guest to bed Sunday brought the New York papers and a quiet morning of recuperating on the porch—and Sunday afternoon meant goodby to the one or two guests who must return to the city and a great revival of drinking among the one or two who remained until next day concluding in a convivial if not hilarious evening
The faithful Tana pedagogue by nature and man of all work by profession had returned with them Among their more frequent guests a tradition had sprung up about him Maury Noble remarked one afternoon that his real name was Tannenbaum and that he was a German agent kept in this country to disseminate Teutonic propaganda through Westchester County and after that mysterious letters began to arrive from Philadelphia addressed to the bewildered Oriental as Lt Emile Tannenbaum containing a few cryptic messages signed General Staff and adorned with an atmospheric double column of facetious Japanese Anthony always handed them to Tana without a smile hours afterward the recipient could be found puzzling over them in the kitchen and declaring earnestly that the perpendicular symbols were not Japanese nor anything resembling Japanese
Gloria had taken a strong dislike to the man ever since the day when returning unexpectedly from the village she had discovered him reclining on Anthonys bed puzzling out a newspaper It was the instinct of all servants to be fond of Anthony and to detest Gloria and Tana was no exception to the rule But he was thoroughly afraid of her and made plain his aversion only in his moodier moments by subtly addressing Anthony with remarks intended for her ear
What Miz Pats want dinner he would say looking at his master Or else he would comment about the bitter selfishness of Merican peoples in such manner that there was no doubt who were the peoples referred to
But they dared not dismiss him Such a step would have been abhorrent to their inertia They endured Tana as they endured ill weather and sickness of the body and the estimable Will of God—as they endured all things even themselves
IN DARKNESS
One sultry afternoon late in July Richard Caramel telephoned from New York that he and Maury were coming out bringing a friend with them They arrived about five a little drunk accompanied by a small stocky man of thirtyfive whom they introduced as Mr Joe Hull one of the best fellows that Anthony and Gloria had ever met
Joe Hull had a yellow beard continually fighting through his skin and a low voice which varied between basso profundo and a husky whisper Anthony carrying Maurys suitcase upstairs followed into the room and carefully closed the door
Who is this fellow he demanded
Maury chuckled enthusiastically
Who Hull Oh hes all right Hes a good one
Yes but who is he
Hull Hes just a good fellow Hes a prince His laughter redoubled culminating in a succession of pleasant catlike grins Anthony hesitated between a smile and a frown
He looks sort of funny to me Weirdlooking clothes—he paused—Ive got a sneaking suspicion you two picked him up somewhere last night
Ridiculous declared Maury Why Ive known him all my life
However as he capped this statement with another series of chuckles
Anthony was impelled to remark The devil you have
Later just before dinner while Maury and Dick were conversing uproariously with Joe Hull listening in silence as he sipped his drink Gloria drew Anthony into the dining room
I dont like this man Hull she said I wish hed use Tanas bathtub
I cant very well ask him to
Well I dont want him in ours
He seems to be a simple soul
Hes got on white shoes that look like gloves I can see his toes right through them Uh Who is he anyway
Youve got me
Well I think theyve got their nerve to bring him out here This isnt a Sailors Rescue Home
They were tight when they phoned Maury said theyve been on a party since yesterday afternoon
Gloria shook her head angrily and saying no more returned to the porch Anthony saw that she was trying to forget her uncertainty and devote herself to enjoying the evening
It had been a tropical day and even into late twilight the heatwaves emanating from the dry road were quivering faintly like undulating panes of isinglass The sky was cloudless but far beyond the woods in the direction of the Sound a faint and persistent rolling had commenced When Tana announced dinner the men at a word from Gloria remained coatless and went inside
Maury began a song which they accomplished in harmony during the first course It had two lines and was sung to a popular air called Daisy Dear The lines were
The—panic—has—come—over us So haaas—the moral de_cline_
Each rendition was greeted with bursts of enthusiasm and prolonged applause
Cheer up Gloria suggested Maury You seem the least bit depressed
Im not she lied
Here Tannenbaum he called over his shoulder Ive filled you a drink Come on
Gloria tried to stay his arm
Please dont Maury
Why not Maybe hell play the flute for us after dinner Here Tana
Tana grinning bore the glass away to the kitchen In a few moments
Maury gave him another
Cheer up Gloria he cried For Heavens sakes everybody cheer up
Gloria
Dearest have another drink counselled Anthony
Do please
Cheer up Gloria said Joe Hull easily
Gloria winced at this uncalledfor use of her first name and glanced around to see if any one else had noticed it The word coming so glibly from the lips of a man to whom she had taken an inordinate dislike repelled her A moment later she noticed that Joe Hull had given Tana another drink and her anger increased heightened somewhat from the effects of the alcohol
—and once Maury was saying Peter Granby and I went into a Turkish bath in Boston about two oclock at night There was no one there but the proprietor and we jammed him into a closet and locked the door Then a fella came in and wanted a Turkish bath Thought we were the rubbers by golly Well we just picked him up and tossed him into the pool with all his clothes on Then we dragged him out and laid him on a slab and slapped him until he was black and blue Not so rough fellows hed say in a little squeaky voice please …
—Was this Maury thought Gloria From any one else the story would have amused her but from Maury the infinitely appreciative the apotheosis of tact and consideration…
The—panic—has—come—over us So haaas—
A drum of thunder from outside drowned out the rest of the song Gloria shivered and tried to empty her glass but the first taste nauseated her and she set it down Dinner was over and they all marched into the big room bearing several bottles and decanters Some one had closed the porch door to keep out the wind and in consequence circular tentacles of cigar smoke were twisting already upon the heavy air
Paging Lieutenant Tannenbaum Again it was the changeling Maury
Bring us the flute
Anthony and Maury rushed into the kitchen Richard Caramel started the phonograph and approached Gloria
Dance with your wellknown cousin
I dont want to dance
Then Im going to carry you around
As though he were doing something of overpowering importance he picked her up in his fat little arms and started trotting gravely about the room
Set me down Dick Im dizzy she insisted
He dumped her in a bouncing bundle on the couch and rushed off to the kitchen shouting Tana Tana
Then without warning she felt other arms around her felt herself lifted from the lounge Joe Hull had picked her up and was trying drunkenly to imitate Dick
Put me down she said sharply
His maudlin laugh and the sight of that prickly yellow jaw close to her face stirred her to intolerable disgust
At once
The—panic— he began but got no further for Glorias hand swung around swiftly and caught him in the cheek At this he all at once let go of her and she fell to the floor her shoulder hitting the table a glancing blow in transit…
Then the room seemed full of men and smoke There was Tana in his white coat reeling about supported by Maury Into his flute he was blowing a weird blend of sound that was known cried Anthony as the Japanese trainsong Joe Hull had found a box of candles and was juggling them yelling One down every time he missed and Dick was dancing by himself in a fascinated whirl around and about the room It appeared to her that everything in the room was staggering in grotesque fourthdimensional gyrations through intersecting planes of hazy blue
Outside the storm had come up amazingly—the lulls within were filled with the scrape of the tall bushes against the house and the roaring of the rain on the tin roof of the kitchen The lightning was interminable letting down thick drips of thunder like pig iron from the heart of a whitehot furnace Gloria could see that the rain was spitting in at three of the windows—but she could not move to shut them…
… She was in the hall She had said good night but no one had heard or heeded her It seemed for an instant as though something had looked down over the head of the banister but she could not have gone back into the living room—better madness than the madness of that clamor… Upstairs she fumbled for the electric switch and missed it in the darkness a roomful of lightning showed her the button plainly on the wall But when the impenetrable black shut down it again eluded her fumbling fingers so she slipped off her dress and petticoat and threw herself weakly on the dry side of the halfdrenched bed
She shut her eyes From downstairs arose the babel of the drinkers punctured suddenly by a tinkling shiver of broken glass and then another and by a soaring fragment of unsteady irregular song…
She lay there for something over two hours—so she calculated afterward sheerly by piecing together the bits of time She was conscious even aware after a long while that the noise downstairs had lessened and that the storm was moving off westward throwing back lingering showers of sound that fell heavy and lifeless as her soul into the soggy fields This was succeeded by a slow reluctant scattering of the rain and wind until there was nothing outside her windows but a gentle dripping and the swishing play of a cluster of wet vine against the sill She was in a state halfway between sleeping and waking with neither condition predominant … and she was harassed by a desire to rid herself of a weight pressing down upon her breast She felt that if she could cry the weight would be lifted and forcing the lids of her eyes together she tried to raise a lump in her throat … to no avail…
Drip Drip Drip The sound was not unpleasant—like spring like a cool rain of her childhood that made cheerful mud in her back yard and watered the tiny garden she had dug with miniature rake and spade and hoe Drip—driip It was like days when the rain came out of yellow skies that melted just before twilight and shot one radiant shaft of sunlight diagonally down the heavens into the damp green trees So cool so clear and clean—and her mother there at the centre of the world at the centre of the rain safe and dry and strong She wanted her mother now and her mother was dead beyond sight and touch forever And this weight was pressing on her pressing on her—oh it pressed on her so
She became rigid Some one had come to the door and was standing regarding her very quiet except for a slight swaying motion She could see the outline of his figure distinct against some indistinguishable light There was no sound anywhere only a great persuasive silence—even the dripping had ceased … only this figure swaying swaying in the doorway an indiscernible and subtly menacing terror a personality filthy under its varnish like smallpox spots under a layer of powder Yet her tired heart beating until it shook her breasts made her sure that there was still life in her desperately shaken threatened…
The minute or succession of minutes prolonged itself interminably and a swimming blur began to form before her eyes which tried with childish persistence to pierce the gloom in the direction of the door In another instant it seemed that some unimaginable force would shatter her out of existence … and then the figure in the doorway—it was Hull she saw Hull—turned deliberately and still slightly swaying moved back and off as if absorbed into that incomprehensible light that had given him dimension
Blood rushed back into her limbs blood and life together With a start of energy she sat upright shifting her body until her feet touched the floor over the side of the bed She knew what she must do—now now before it was too late She must go out into this cool damp out away to feel the wet swish of the grass around her feet and the fresh moisture on her forehead Mechanically she struggled into her clothes groping in the dark of the closet for a hat She must go from this house where the thing hovered that pressed upon her bosom or else made itself into stray swaying figures in the gloom
In a panic she fumbled clumsily at her coat found the sleeve just as she heard Anthonys footsteps on the lower stair She dared not wait he might not let her go and even Anthony was part of this weight part of this evil house and the sombre darkness that was growing up about it…
Through the hall then … and down the back stairs hearing Anthonys voice in the bedroom she had just left—
Gloria Gloria
But she had reached the kitchen now passed out through the doorway into the night A hundred drops startled by a flare of wind from a dripping tree scattered on her and she pressed them gladly to her face with hot hands
Gloria Gloria
The voice was infinitely remote muffed and made plaintive by the walls she had just left She rounded the house and started down the front path toward the road almost exultant as she turned into it and followed the carpet of short grass alongside moving with caution in the intense darkness
Gloria
She broke into a run stumbled over the segment of a branch twisted off by the wind The voice was outside the house now Anthony finding the bedroom deserted had come onto the porch But this thing was driving her forward it was back there with Anthony and she must go on in her flight under this dim and oppressive heaven forcing herself through the silence ahead as though it were a tangible barrier before her
She had gone some distance along the barely discernible road probably half a mile passed a single deserted barn that loomed up black and foreboding the only building of any sort between the gray house and Marietta then she turned the fork where the road entered the wood and ran between two high walls of leaves and branches that nearly touched overhead She noticed suddenly a thin longitudinal gleam of silver upon the road before her like a bright sword half embedded in the mud As she came closer she gave a little cry of satisfaction—it was a wagonrut full of water and glancing heavenward she saw a light rift of sky and knew that the moon was out
Gloria
She started violently Anthony was not two hundred feet behind her
Gloria wait for me
She shut her lips tightly to keep from screaming and increased her gait Before she had gone another hundred yards the woods disappeared rolling back like a dark stocking from the leg of the road Three minutes walk ahead of her suspended in the now high and limitless air she saw a thin interlacing of attenuated gleams and glitters centred in a regular undulation on some one invisible point Abruptly she knew where she would go That was the great cascade of wires that rose high over the river like the legs of a gigantic spider whose eye was the little green light in the switchhouse and ran with the railroad bridge in the direction of the station The station There would be the train to take her away
Gloria its me Its Anthony Gloria I wont try to stop you For
Gods sake where are you
She made no answer but began to run keeping on the high side of the road and leaping the gleaming puddles—dimensionless pools of thin unsubstantial gold Turning sharply to the left she followed a narrow wagon road serving to avoid a dark body on the ground She looked up as an owl hooted mournfully from a solitary tree Just ahead of her she could see the trestle that led to the railroad bridge and the steps mounting up to it The station lay across the river
Another sounds startled her the melancholy siren of an approaching train and almost simultaneously a repeated call thin now and far away
Gloria Gloria
Anthony must have followed the main road She laughed with a sort of malicious cunning at having eluded him she could spare the time to wait until the train went by
The siren soared again closer at hand and then with no anticipatory roar and clamor a dark and sinuous body curved into view against the shadows far down the highbanked track and with no sound but the rush of the cleft wind and the clocklike tick of the rails moved toward the bridge—it was an electric train Above the engine two vivid blurs of blue light formed incessantly a radiant crackling bar between them which like a spluttering flame in a lamp beside a corpse lit for an instant the successive rows of trees and caused Gloria to draw back instinctively to the far side of the road The light was tepid the temperature of warm blood… The clicking blended suddenly with itself in a rush of even sound and then elongating in sombre elasticity the thing roared blindly by her and thundered onto the bridge racing the lurid shaft of fire it cast into the solemn river alongside Then it contracted swiftly sucking in its sound until it left only a reverberant echo which died upon the farther bank
Silence crept down again over the wet country the faint dripping resumed and suddenly a great shower of drops tumbled upon Gloria stirring her out of the trancelike torpor which the passage of the train had wrought She ran swiftly down a descending level to the bank and began climbing the iron stairway to the bridge remembering that it was something she had always wanted to do and that she would have the added excitement of traversing the yardwide plank that ran beside the tracks over the river
There This was better She was at the top now and could see the lands about her as successive sweeps of open country cold under the moon coarsely patched and seamed with thin rows and heavy clumps of trees To her right half a mile down the river which trailed away behind the light like the shiny slimy path of a snail winked the scattered lights of Marietta Not two hundred yards away at the end of the bridge squatted the station marked by a sullen lantern The oppression was lifted now—the treetops below her were rocking the young starlight to a haunted doze She stretched out her arms with a gesture of freedom This was what she had wanted to stand alone where it was high and cool
Gloria
Like a startled child she scurried along the plank hopping skipping jumping with an ecstatic sense of her own physical lightness Let him come now—she no longer feared that only she must first reach the station because that was part of the game She was happy Her hat snatched off was clutched tightly in her hand and her short curled hair bobbed up and down about her ears She had thought she would never feel so young again but this was her night her world Triumphantly she laughed as she left the plank and reaching the wooden platform flung herself down happily beside an iron roofpost
Here I am she called gay as the dawn in her elation Here I am
Anthony dear—old worried Anthony
Gloria He reached the platform ran toward her Are you all right
Coming up he knelt and took her in his arms
Yes
What was the matter Why did you leave he queried anxiously
I had to—there was something—she paused and a flicker of uneasiness lashed at her mind—there was something sitting on me—here She put her hand on her breast I had to go out and get away from it
What do you mean by something
I dont know—that man Hull—
Did he bother you
He came to my door drunk I think Id gotten sort of crazy by that time
Gloria dearest—
Wearily she laid her head upon his shoulder
Lets go back he suggested
She shivered
Uh No I couldnt Itd come and sit on me again Her voice rose to a cry that hung plaintive on the darkness That thing—
There—there he soothed her pulling her close to him We wont do anything you dont want to do What do you want to do Just sit here
I want—I want to go away
Where
Oh—anywhere
By golly Gloria he cried youre still tight
No Im not I havent been all evening I went upstairs about oh I dont know about half an hour after dinner …Ouch
He had inadvertently touched her right shoulder
It hurts me I hurt it some way I dont know—somebody picked me up and dropped me
Gloria come home Its late and damp
I cant she wailed Oh Anthony dont ask me to I will tomorrow
You go home and Ill wait here for a train Ill go to a hotel—
Ill go with you
No I dont want you with me I want to be alone I want to sleep—oh I want to sleep And then tomorrow when youve got all the smell of whiskey and cigarettes out of the house and everything straight and Hull is gone then Ill come home If I went now that thing—oh— She covered her eyes with her hand Anthony saw the futility of trying to persuade her
I was all sober when you left he said Dick was asleep on the lounge and Maury and I were having a discussion That fellow Hull had wandered off somewhere Then I began to realize I hadnt seen you for several hours so I went upstairs—
He broke off as a salutatory Hello there boomed suddenly out of the darkness Gloria sprang to her feet and he did likewise
Its Maurys voice she cried excitedly If its Hull with him keep them away keep them away
Whos there Anthony called
Just Dick and Maury returned two voices reassuringly
Wheres Hull
Hes in bed Passed out
Their figures appeared dimly on the platform
What the devil are you and Gloria doing here inquired Richard Caramel with sleepy bewilderment
What are you two doing here
Maury laughed
Damned if I know We followed you and had the deuce of a time doing it I heard you out on the porch yelling for Gloria so I woke up the Caramel here and got it through his head with some difficulty that if there was a searchparty wed better be on it He slowed me up by sitting down in the road at intervals and asking me what it was all about We tracked you by the pleasant scent of Canadian Club
There was a rattle of nervous laughter under the low trainshed
How did you track us really
Well we followed along down the road and then we suddenly lost you Seems you turned off at a wagontrail After a while somebody hailed us and asked us if we were looking for a young girl Well we came up and found it was a little shivering old man sitting on a fallen tree like somebody in a fairy tale She turned down here he said and most steppud on me goin somewhere in an awful hustle and then a fella in short golfin pants come runnin along and went after her He throwed me this The old fellow had a dollar bill he was waving around—
Oh the poor old man ejaculated Gloria moved
I threw him another and we went on though he asked us to stay and tell him what it was all about
Poor old man repeated Gloria dismally
Dick sat down sleepily on a box
And now what he inquired in the tone of stoic resignation
Glorias upset explained Anthony She and I are going to the city by the next train
Maury in the darkness had pulled a timetable from his pocket
Strike a match
A tiny flare leaped out of the opaque background illuminating the four faces grotesque and unfamiliar here in the open night
Lets see Two twothirty—no thats evening By gad you wont get a train till fivethirty
Anthony hesitated
Well he muttered uncertainly weve decided to stay here and wait for it You two might as well go back and sleep
You go too Anthony urged Gloria I want you to have some sleep dear Youve been as pale as a ghost all day
Why you little idiot
Dick yawned
Very well You stay we stay
He walked out from under the shed and surveyed the heavens
Rather a nice night after all Stars are out and everything
Exceptionally tasty assortment of them
Lets see Gloria moved after him and the other two followed her
Lets sit out here she suggested I like it much better
Anthony and Dick converted a long box into a backrest and found a board dry enough for Gloria to sit on Anthony dropped down beside her and with some effort Dick hoisted himself onto an applebarrel near them
Tana went to sleep in the porch hammock he remarked We carried him in and left him next to the kitchen stove to dry He was drenched to the skin
That awful little man sighed Gloria
How do you do The voice sonorous and funereal had come from above and they looked up startled to find that in some manner Maury had climbed to the roof of the shed where he sat dangling his feet over the edge outlined as a shadowy and fantastic gargoyle against the now brilliant sky
It must be for such occasions as this he began softly his words having the effect of floating down from an immense height and settling softly upon his auditors that the righteous of the land decorate the railroads with billboards asserting in red and yellow that Jesus Christ is God placing them appropriately enough next to announcements that Gunters Whiskey is Good
There was gentle laughter and the three below kept their heads tilted upward
I think I shall tell you the story of my education continued Maury under these sardonic constellations
Do Please
Shall I really
They waited expectantly while he directed a ruminative yawn toward the white smiling moon
Well he began as an infant I prayed I stored up prayers against future wickedness One year I stored up nineteen hundred Now I lay mes
Throw down a cigarette murmured some one
A small package reached the platform simultaneously with the stentorian command
Silence I am about to unburden myself of many memorable remarks reserved for the darkness of such earths and the brilliance of such skies
Below a lighted match was passed from cigarette to cigarette The voice resumed
I was adept at fooling the deity I prayed immediately after all crimes until eventually prayer and crime became indistinguishable to me I believed that because a man cried out My God when a safe fell on him it proved that belief was rooted deep in the human breast Then I went to school For fourteen years half a hundred earnest men pointed to ancient flintlocks and cried to me Theres the real thing These new rifles are only shallow superficial imitations They damned the books I read and the things I thought by calling them immoral later the fashion changed and they damned things by calling them clever
And so I turned canny for my years from the professors to the poets listening—to the lyric tenor of Swinburne and the tenor robusto of Shelley to Shakespeare with his first bass and his fine range to Tennyson with his second bass and his occasional falsetto to Milton and Marlow bassos profundo I gave ear to Browning chatting Byron declaiming and Wordsworth droning This at least did me no harm I learned a little of beauty—enough to know that it had nothing to do with truth—and I found moreover that there was no great literary tradition there was only the tradition of the eventful death of every literary tradition…
Then I grew up and the beauty of succulent illusions fell away from me The fibre of my mind coarsened and my eyes grew miserably keen Life rose around my island like a sea and presently I was swimming
The transition was subtle—the thing had lain in wait for me for some time It has its insidious seemingly innocuous trap for every one With me No—I didnt try to seduce the janitors wife—nor did I run through the streets unclothed proclaiming my virility It is never quite passion that does the business—it is the dress that passion wears I became bored—that was all Boredom which is another name and a frequent disguise for vitality became the unconscious motive of all my acts Beauty was behind me do you understand—I was grown He paused End of school and college period Opening of Part Two
Three quietly active points of light showed the location of his listeners Gloria was now half sitting half lying in Anthonys lap His arm was around her so tightly that she could hear the beating of his heart Richard Caramel perched on the applebarrel from time to time stirred and gave off a faint grunt
I grew up then into this land of jazz and fell immediately into a state of almost audible confusion Life stood over me like an immoral schoolmistress editing my ordered thoughts But with a mistaken faith in intelligence I plodded on I read Smith who laughed at charity and insisted that the sneer was the highest form of selfexpression—but Smith himself replaced charity as an obscurer of the light I read Jones who neatly disposed of individualism—and behold Jones was still in my way I did not think—I was a battleground for the thoughts of many men rather was I one of those desirable but impotent countries over which the great powers surge back and forth
I reached maturity under the impression that I was gathering the experience to order my life for happiness Indeed I accomplished the not unusual feat of solving each question in my mind long before it presented itself to me in life—and of being beaten and bewildered just the same
But after a few tastes of this latter dish I had had enough Here I said Experience is not worth the getting Its not a thing that happens pleasantly to a passive you—its a wall that an active you runs up against So I wrapped myself in what I thought was my invulnerable scepticism and decided that my education was complete But it was too late Protect myself as I might by making no new ties with tragic and predestined humanity I was lost with the rest I had traded the fight against love for the fight against loneliness the fight against life for the fight against death
He broke off to give emphasis to his last observation—after a moment he yawned and resumed
I suppose that the beginning of the second phase of my education was a ghastly dissatisfaction at being used in spite of myself for some inscrutable purpose of whose ultimate goal I was unaware—if indeed there was an ultimate goal It was a difficult choice The schoolmistress seemed to be saying Were going to play football and nothing but football If you dont want to play football you cant play at all—
What was I to do—the playtime was so short
You see I felt that we were even denied what consolation there might have been in being a figment of a corporate man rising from his knees Do you think that I leaped at this pessimism grasped it as a sweetly smug superior thing no more depressing really than say a gray autumn day before a fire—I dont think I did that I was a great deal too warm for that and too alive
For it seemed to me that there was no ultimate goal for man Man was beginning a grotesque and bewildered fight with nature—nature that by the divine and magnificent accident had brought us to where we could fly in her face She had invented ways to rid the race of the inferior and thus give the remainder strength to fill her higher—or let us say her more amusing—though still unconscious and accidental intentions And actuated by the highest gifts of the enlightenment we were seeking to circumvent her In this republic I saw the black beginning to mingle with the white—in Europe there was taking place an economic catastrophe to save three or four diseased and wretchedly governed races from the one mastery that might organize them for material prosperity
We produce a Christ who can raise up the leper—and presently the breed of the leper is the salt of the earth If any one can find any lesson in that let him stand forth
Theres only one lesson to be learned from life anyway interrupted
Gloria not in contradiction but in a sort of melancholy agreement
Whats that demanded Maury sharply
That theres no lesson to be learned from life
After a short silence Maury said
Young Gloria the beautiful and merciless lady first looked at the world with the fundamental sophistication I have struggled to attain that Anthony never will attain that Dick will never fully understand
There was a disgusted groan from the applebarrel Anthony grown accustomed to the dark could see plainly the flash of Richard Caramels yellow eye and the look of resentment on his face as he cried
Youre crazy By your own statement I should have attained some experience by trying
Trying what cried Maury fiercely Trying to pierce the darkness of political idealism with some wild despairing urge toward truth Sitting day after day supine in a rigid chair and infinitely removed from life staring at the tip of a steeple through the trees trying to separate definitely and for all time the knowable from the unknowable Trying to take a piece of actuality and give it glamour from your own soul to make for that inexpressible quality it possessed in life and lost in transit to paper or canvas Struggling in a laboratory through weary years for one iota of relative truth in a mass of wheels or a test tube—
Have you
Maury paused and in his answer when it came there was a measure of weariness a bitter overnote that lingered for a moment in those three minds before it floated up and off like a bubble bound for the moon
Not I he said softly I was born tired—but with the quality of mother wit the gift of women like Gloria—to that for all my talking and listening my waiting in vain for the eternal generality that seems to lie just beyond every argument and every speculation to that I have added not one jot
In the distance a deep sound that had been audible for some moments identified itself by a plaintive mooing like that of a gigantic cow and by the pearly spot of a headlight apparent half a mile away It was a steamdriven train this time rumbling and groaning and as it tumbled by with a monstrous complaint it sent a shower of sparks and cinders over the platform
Not one jot Again Maurys voice dropped down to them as from a great height What a feeble thing intelligence is with its short steps its waverings its pacings back and forth its disastrous retreats Intelligence is a mere instrument of circumstances There are people who say that intelligence must have built the universe—why intelligence never built a steam engine Circumstances built a steam engine Intelligence is little more than a short footrule by which we measure the infinite achievements of Circumstances
I could quote you the philosophy of the hour—but for all we know fifty years may see a complete reversal of this abnegation thats absorbing the intellectuals today the triumph of Christ over Anatole France— He hesitated and then added But all I know—the tremendous importance of myself to me and the necessity of acknowledging that importance to myself—these things the wise and lovely Gloria was born knowing these things and the painful futility of trying to know anything else
Well I started to tell you of my education didnt I But I learned nothing you see very little even about myself And if I had I should die with my lips shut and the guard on my fountain pen—as the wisest men have done since—oh since the failure of a certain matter—a strange matter by the way It concerned some sceptics who thought they were farsighted just as you and I Let me tell you about them by way of an evening prayer before you all drop off to sleep
Once upon a time all the men of mind and genius in the world became of one belief—that is to say of no belief But it wearied them to think that within a few years after their death many cults and systems and prognostications would be ascribed to them which they had never meditated nor intended So they said to one another
Lets join together and make a great book that will last forever to mock the credulity of man Lets persuade our more erotic poets to write about the delights of the flesh and induce some of our robust journalists to contribute stories of famous amours Well include all the most preposterous old wives tales now current Well choose the keenest satirist alive to compile a deity from all the deities worshipped by mankind a deity who will be more magnificent than any of them and yet so weakly human that hell become a byword for laughter the world over—and well ascribe to him all sorts of jokes and vanities and rages in which hell be supposed to indulge for his own diversion so that the people will read our book and ponder it and therell be no more nonsense in the world
Finally let us take care that the book possesses all the virtues of style so that it may last forever as a witness to our profound scepticism and our universal irony
So the men did and they died
But the book lived always so beautifully had it been written and so astounding the quality of imagination with which these men of mind and genius had endowed it They had neglected to give it a name but after they were dead it became known as the Bible
When he concluded there was no comment Some damp languor sleeping on the air of night seemed to have bewitched them all
As I said I started on the story of my education But my highballs are dead and the nights almost over and soon therell be an awful jabbering going on everywhere in the trees and the houses and the two little stores over there behind the station and therell be a great running up and down upon the earth for a few hours—Well he concluded with a laugh thank God we four can all pass to our eternal rest knowing weve left the world a little better for having lived in it
A breeze sprang up blowing with it faint wisps of life which flattened against the sky
Your remarks grow rambling and inconclusive said Anthony sleepily You expected one of those miracles of illumination by which you say your most brilliant and pregnant things in exactly the setting that should provoke the ideal symposium Meanwhile Gloria has shown her farsighted detachment by falling asleep—I can tell that by the fact that she has managed to concentrate her entire weight upon my broken body
Have I bored you inquired Maury looking down with some concern
No you have disappointed us Youve shot a lot of arrows but did you shoot any birds
I leave the birds to Dick said Maury hurriedly I speak erratically in disassociated fragments
You can get no rise from me muttered Dick My mind is full of any number of material things I want a warm bath too much to worry about the importance of my work or what proportion of us are pathetic figures
Dawn made itself felt in a gathering whiteness eastward over the river and an intermittent cheeping in the nearby trees
Quarter to five sighed Dick almost another hour to wait Look Two gone He was pointing to Anthony whose lids had sagged over his eyes Sleep of the Patch family—
But in another five minutes despite the amplifying cheeps and chirrups his own head had fallen forward nodded down twice thrice…
Only Maury Noble remained awake seated upon the station roof his eyes wide open and fixed with fatigued intensity upon the distant nucleus of morning He was wondering at the unreality of ideas at the fading radiance of existence and at the little absorptions that were creeping avidly into his life like rats into a ruined house He was sorry for no one now—on Monday morning there would be his business and later there would be a girl of another class whose whole life he was these were the things nearest his heart In the strangeness of the brightening day it seemed presumptuous that with this feeble broken instrument of his mind he had ever tried to think
There was the sun letting down great glowing masses of heat there was life active and snarling moving about them like a fly swarm—the dark pants of smoke from the engine a crisp all aboard and a bell ringing Confusedly Maury saw eyes in the milk train staring curiously up at him heard Gloria and Anthony in quick controversy as to whether he should go to the city with her then another clamor and she was gone and the three men pale as ghosts were standing alone upon the platform while a grimy coalheaver went down the road on top of a motor truck carolling hoarsely at the summer morning
CHAPTER III
THE BROKEN LUTE
It is seventhirty of an August evening The windows in the living room of the gray house are wide open patiently exchanging the tainted inner atmosphere of liquor and smoke for the fresh drowsiness of the late hot dusk There are dying flower scents upon the air so thin so fragile as to hint already of a summer laid away in time But August is still proclaimed relentlessly by a thousand crickets around the sideporch and by one who has broken into the house and concealed himself confidently behind a bookcase from time to time shrieking of his cleverness and his indomitable will
The room itself is in messy disorder On the table is a dish of fruit which is real but appears artificial Around it are grouped an ominous assortment of decanters glasses and heaped ashtrays the latter still raising wavy smokeladders into the stale air the effect on the whole needing but a skull to resemble that venerable chromo once a fixture in every den which presents the appendages to the life of pleasure with delightful and aweinspiring sentiment
After a while the sprightly solo of the supercricket is interrupted rather than joined by a new sound—the melancholy wail of an erratically fingered flute It is obvious that the musician is practising rather than performing for from time to time the gnarled strain breaks off and after an interval of indistinct mutterings recommences
Just prior to the seventh false start a third sound contributes to the subdued discord It is a taxi outside A minutes silence then the taxi again its boisterous retreat almost obliterating the scrape of footsteps on the cinder walk The doorbell shrieks alarmingly through the house
From the kitchen enters a small fatigued Japanese hastily buttoning a servants coat of white duck He opens the front screendoor and admits a handsome young man of thirty clad in the sort of wellintentioned clothes peculiar to those who serve mankind To his whole personality clings a wellintentioned air his glance about the room is compounded of curiosity and a determined optimism when he looks at Tana the entire burden of uplifting the godless Oriental is in his eyes His name is FREDERICK E PARAMORE He was at Harvard with ANTHONY where because of the initials of their surnames they were constantly placed next to each other in classes A fragmentary acquaintance developed—but since that time they have never met
Nevertheless PARAMORE enters the room with a certain air of arriving for the evening
Tana is answering a question
TANA Grinning with ingratiation Gone to Inn for dinnah Be back halfhour Gone since ha past six
PARAMORE Regarding the glasses on the table Have they company
TANA Yes Company Mistah Caramel Mistah and Missays Barnes Miss
Kane all stay here
PARAMORE I see Kindly Theyve been having a spree I see
TANA I no unstan
PARAMORE Theyve been having a fling
TANA Yes they have drink Oh many many many drink
PARAMORE Receding delicately from the subject Didnt I hear the sounds of music as I approached the house
TANAWith a spasmodic giggleYes I play
PARAMORE One of the Japanese instruments
He is quite obviously a subscriber to the National Geographic Magazine
TANA I play fluuute Japanese fluuute
PARAMORE What song were you playing One of your Japanese melodies
TANAHis brow undergoing preposterous contraction I play train song How you call—railroad song So call in my countree Like train It go sooo that mean whistle train start Then go sooo that mean train go Go like that Vera nice song in my countree Children song
PARAMORE It sounded very nice It is apparent at this point that only a gigantic effort at control restrains Tana from rushing upstairs for his post cards including the six made in America
TANA I fix highball for gentleman
PARAMORE No thanks I dont use it He smiles
TANA withdraws into the kitchen leaving the intervening door slightly ajar From the crevice there suddenly issues again the melody of the Japanese train song—this time not a practice surely but a performance a lusty spirited performance
The phone rings TANA absorbed in his harmonics gives no heed so PARAMORE takes up the receiver
PARAMORE Hello… Yes… No hes not here now but hell be back any moment… Butterworth Hello I didnt quite catch the name… Hello hello hello Hello … Huh
The phone obstinately refuses to yield up any more sound Paramore replaces the receiver
At this point the taxi motif reenters wafting with it a second young man he carries a suitcase and opens the front door without ringing the bell
MAURY In the hall Oh Anthony Yoho He comes into the large room and sees PARAMORE How do
PARAMORE Gazing at him with gathering intensity Is this—is this
Maury Noble
MAURY Thats it He advances smiling and holding out his hand
How are you old boy Havent seen you for years
He has vaguely associated the face with Harvard but is not even positive about that The name if he ever knew it he has long since forgotten However with a fine sensitiveness and an equally commendable charity PARAMORE recognizes the fact and tactfully relieves the situation
PARAMORE Youve forgotten Fred Paramore We were both in old Unc
Roberts history class
MAURY No I havent Unc—I mean Fred Fred was—I mean Unc was a great old fellow wasnt he
PARAMORE Nodding his head humorously several times Great old character Great old character
MAURY After a short pause Yes—he was Wheres Anthony
PARAMORE The Japanese servant told me he was at some inn Having dinner I suppose
MAURY Looking at his watch Gone long
PARAMORE I guess so The Japanese told me theyd be back shortly
MAURY Suppose we have a drink
PARAMORE No thanks I dont use it He smiles
MAURY Mind if I do Yawning as he helps himself from a bottle What have you been doing since you left college
PARAMORE Oh many things Ive led a very active life Knocked about here and there His tone implies anything front lionstalking to organized crime
MAURY Oh been over to Europe
PARAMORE No I havent—unfortunately
MAURY I guess well all go over before long
PARAMORE Do you really think so
MAURY Sure Countrys been fed on sensationalism for more than two years Everybody getting restless Want to have some fun
PARAMORE Then you dont believe any ideals are at stake
MAURY Nothing of much importance People want excitement every so often
PARAMORE Intently Its very interesting to hear you say that Now I was talking to a man whod been over there——
During the ensuing testament left to be filled in by the reader with such phrases as Saw with his own eyes Splendid spirit of France and Salvation of civilization MAURY sits with lowered eyelids dispassionately bored
MAURY At the first available opportunity By the way do you happen to know that theres a German agent in this very house
PARAMORE Smiling cautiously Are you serious
MAURY Absolutely Feel it my duty to warn you
PARAMORE Convinced A governess
MAURY In a whisper indicating the kitchen with his thumb Tana Thats not his real name I understand he constantly gets mail addressed to Lieutenant Emile Tannenbaum
PARAMORE Laughing with hearty tolerance You were kidding me
MAURY I may be accusing him falsely But you havent told me what youve been doing
PARAMORE For one thing—writing
MAURY Fiction
PARAMORE No Nonfiction
MAURY Whats that A sort of literature thats half fiction and half fact
PARAMORE Oh Ive confined myself to fact Ive been doing a good deal of socialservice work
MAURY Oh
An immediate glow of suspicion leaps into his eyes It is as though PARAMORE had announced himself as an amateur pickpocket
PARAMORE At present Im doing service work in Stamford Only last week some one told me that Anthony Patch lived so near
They are interrupted by a clamor outside unmistakable as that of two sexes in conversation and laughter Then there enter the room in a body ANTHONY GLORIA RICHARD CARAMEL MURIEL KANE RACHAEL BARNES and RODMAN BARNES her husband They surge about MAURY illogically replying Fine to his general Hello … ANTHONY meanwhile approaches his other guest
ANTHONY Well Ill be darned How are you Mighty glad to see you
PARAMORE Its good to see you Anthony Im stationed in Stamford so I thought Id run over Roguishly We have to work to beat the devil most of the time so were entitled to a few hours vacation
In an agony of concentration ANTHONY tries to recall the name After a struggle of parturition his memory gives up the fragment Fred around which he hastily builds the sentence Glad you did Fred Meanwhile the slight hush prefatory to an introduction has fallen upon the company MAURY who could help prefers to look on in malicious enjoyment
ANTHONY In desperation Ladies and gentlemen this is—this is Fred
MURIEL With obliging levity Hello Fred
RICHARD CARAMEL and PARAMORE greet each other intimately by their first names the latter recollecting that DICK was one of the men in his class who had never before troubled to speak to him DICK fatuously imagines that PARAMORE is some one he has previously met in ANTHONYS house
The three young women go upstairs
MAURY In an undertone to DICK Havent seen Muriel since Anthonys wedding
DICK Shes now in her prime Her latest is Ill say so
ANTHONY struggles for a while with PARAMORE and at length attempts to make the conversation general by asking every one to have a drink
MAURY Ive done pretty well on this bottle Ive gone from Proof down to Distillery He indicates the words on the label
ANTHONY To PARAMORE Never can tell when these two will turn up Said goodby to them one afternoon at five and darned if they didnt appear about two in the morning A big hired touringcar from New York drove up to the door and out they stepped drunk as lords of course
In an ecstasy of consideration PARAMORE regards the cover of a book which he holds in his hand MAURY and DICK exchange a glance
DICK Innocently to PARAMORE You work here in town
PARAMORE No Im in the Laird Street Settlement in Stamford To
ANTHONY You have no idea of the amount of poverty in these small
Connecticut towns Italians and other immigrants Catholics mostly you
know so its very hard to reach them
ANTHONY Politely Lot of crime
PARAMORE Not so much crime as ignorance and dirt
MAURY Thats my theory immediate electrocution of all ignorant and dirty people Im all for the criminals—give color to life Trouble is if you started to punish ignorance youd have to begin in the first families then you could take up the moving picture people and finally Congress and the clergy
PARAMORE Smiling uneasily I was speaking of the more fundamental ignorance—of even our language
MAURY Thoughtfully I suppose it is rather hard Cant even keep up with the new poetry
PARAMORE Its only when the settlement work has gone on for months that one realizes how bad things are As our secretary said to me your fingernails never seem dirty until you wash your hands Of course were already attracting much attention
MAURY Rudely As your secretary might say if you stuff paper into a grate itll burn brightly for a moment
At this point GLORIA freshly tinted and lustful of admiration and entertainment rejoins the party followed by her two friends For several moments the conversation becomes entirely fragmentary GLORIA calls ANTHONY aside
GLORIA Please dont drink much Anthony
ANTHONY Why
GLORIA Because youre so simple when youre drunk
ANTHONY Good Lord Whats the matter now
GLORIA After a pause during which her eyes gaze coolly into his Several things In the first place why do you insist on paying for everything Both those men have more money than you
ANTHONY Why Gloria Theyre my guests
GLORIA Thats no reason why you should pay for a bottle of champagne Rachael Barnes smashed Dick tried to fix that second taxi bill and you wouldnt let him
ANTHONY Why Gloria—
GLORIA When we have to keep selling bonds to even pay our bills its time to cut down on excess generosities Moreover I wouldnt be quite so attentive to Rachael Barnes Her husband doesnt like it any more than I do
ANTHONY Why Gloria—
GLORIA Mimicking him sharply Why Gloria But thats happened a little too often this summer—with every pretty woman you meet Its grown to be a sort of habit and Im not going to stand it If you can play around I can too Then as an afterthought By the way this Fred person isnt a second Joe Hull is he
ANTHONY Heavens no He probably came up to get me to wheedle some money out of grandfather for his flock
GLORIA turns away from a very depressed ANTHONY and returns to her guests
By nine oclock these can be divided into two classes—those who have been drinking consistently and those who have taken little or nothing In the second group are the BARNESES MURIEL and FREDERICK E PARAMORE
MURIEL I wish I could write I get these ideas but I never seem to be able to put them in words
DICK As Goliath said he understood how David felt but he couldnt express himself The remark was immediately adopted for a motto by the Philistines
MURIEL I dont get you I must be getting stupid in my old age
GLORIA Weaving unsteadily among the company like an exhilarated angel If any ones hungry theres some French pastry on the dining room table
MAURY Cant tolerate those Victorian designs it comes in
MURIEL Violently amused Ill say youre tight Maury
Her bosom is still a pavement that she offers to the hoofs of many passing stallions hoping that their iron shoes may strike even a spark of romance in the darkness …
Messrs BARNES and PARAMORE have been engaged in conversation upon some wholesome subject a subject so wholesome that MR BARNES has been trying for several moments to creep into the more tainted air around the central lounge Whether PARAMORE is lingering in the gray house out of politeness or curiosity or in order at some future time to make a sociological report on the decadence of American life is problematical
MAURY Fred I imagined you were very broadminded
PARAMORE I am
MURIEL Me too I believe one religions as good as another and everything
PARAMORE Theres some good in all religions
MURIEL Im a Catholic but as I always say Im not working at it
PARAMORE With a tremendous burst of tolerance The Catholic religion is a very—a very powerful religion
MAURY Well such a broadminded man should consider the raised plane of sensation and the stimulated optimism contained in this cocktail
PARAMORE Taking the drink rather defiantly Thanks Ill try—one
MAURY One Outrageous Here we have a class of nineteen ten reunion and you refuse to be even a little pickled Come on
Heres a health to King Charles Heres a health to King Charles Bring the bowl that you boast——
PARAMORE joins in with a hearty voice
MAURY Fill the cup Frederick You know everythings subordinated to natures purposes with us and her purpose with you is to make you a riproaring tippler
PARAMORE If a fellow can drink like a gentleman—
MAURY What is a gentleman anyway
ANTHONY A man who never has pins under his coat lapel
MAURY Nonsense A mans social rank is determined by the amount of bread he eats in a sandwich
DICK Hes a man who prefers the first edition of a book to the last edition of a newspaper
RACHAEL A man who never gives an impersonation of a dopefiend
MAURY An American who can fool an English butler into thinking hes one
MURIEL A man who comes from a good family and went to Yale or Harvard or Princeton and has money and dances well and all that
MAURY At last—the perfect definition Cardinal Newmans is now a back number
PARAMORE I think we ought to look on the question more broadmindedly Was it Abraham Lincoln who said that a gentleman is one who never inflicts pain
MAURY Its attributed I believe to General Ludendorff
PARAMORE Surely youre joking
MAURY Have another drink
PARAMORE I oughtnt to Lowering his voice for MAURYS ear alone What if I were to tell you this is the third drink Ive ever taken in my life
DICK starts the phonograph which provokes MURIEL to rise and sway from side to side her elbows against her ribs her forearms perpendicular to her body and out like fins
MURIEL Oh lets take up the rugs and dance
This suggestion is received by ANTHONY and GLORIA with interior groans and sickly smiles of acquiescence
MURIEL Come on you lazybones Get up and move the furniture back
DICK Wait till I finish my drink
MAURY Intent on his purpose toward PARAMORE Ill tell you what
Lets each fill one glass drink it off and then well dance
A wave of protest which breaks against the rock of MAURYS insistence
MURIEL My head is simply going round now
RACHAEL In an undertone to ANTHONY Did Gloria tell you to stay away from me
ANTHONY Confused Why certainly not Of course not
RACHAEL smiles at him inscrutably Two years have given her a sort of hard wellgroomed beauty
MAURY Holding up his glass Heres to the defeat of democracy and the fall of Christianity
MURIEL Now really
She flashes a mockreproachful glance at MAURY and then drinks
They all drink with varying degrees of difficulty
MURIEL Clear the floor
It seems inevitable that this process is to be gone through so ANTHONY and GLORIA join in the great moving of tables piling of chairs rolling of carpets and breaking of lamps When the furniture has been stacked in ugly masses at the sides there appears a space about eight feet square
MURIEL Oh lets have music
MAURY Tana will render the love song of an eye ear nose and throat specialist
Amid some confusion due to the fact that TANA has retired for the night preparations are made for the performance The pajamaed Japanese flute in hand is wrapped in a comforter and placed in a chair atop one of the tables where he makes a ludicrous and grotesque spectacle PARAMORE is perceptibly drunk and so enraptured with the notion that he increases the effect by simulating funnypaper staggers and even venturing on an occasional hiccough
PARAMORE To GLORIA Want to dance with me
GLORIA No sir Want to do the swan dance Can you do it
PARAMORE Sure Do them all
GLORIA All right You start from that side of the room and Ill start from this
MURIEL Lets go
Then Bedlam creeps screaming out of the bottles TANA plunges into the recondite mazes of the train song the plaintive tootle toottoot blending its melancholy cadences with the Poor Butterfly tinkatink by the blossoms waiting of the phonograph MURIEL is too weak with laughter to do more than cling desperately to BARNES who dancing with the ominous rigidity of an army officer tramps without humor around the small space ANTHONY is trying to hear RACHAELS whisper—without attracting GLORIAs attention…
But the grotesque the unbelievable the histrionic incident is about to occur one of those incidents in which life seems set upon the passionate imitation of the lowest forms of literature PARAMORE has been trying to emulate GLORIA and as the commotion reaches its height he begins to spin round and round more and more dizzily—he staggers recovers staggers again and then falls in the direction of the hall … almost into the arms of old ADAM PATCH whose approach has been rendered inaudible by the pandemonium in the room
ADAM PATCH is very white He leans upon a stick The man with him is EDWARD SHUTTLEWORTH and it is he who seizes PARAMORE by the shoulder and deflects the course of his fall away from the venerable philanthropist
The time required for quiet to descend upon the room like a monstrous pall may be estimated at two minutes though for a short period after that the phonograph gags and the notes of the Japanese train song dribble from the end of TANAS flute Of the nine people only BARNES PARAMORE and TANA are unaware of the latecomers identity Of the nine not one is aware that ADAM PATCH has that morning made a contribution of fifty thousand dollars to the cause of national prohibition
It is given to PARAMORE to break the gathering silence the high tide of his lifes depravity is reached in his incredible remark
PARAMORE Crawling rapidly toward the kitchen on his hands and knees
Im not a guest here—I work here
Again silence falls—so deep now so weighted with intolerably contagious apprehension that RACHAEL gives a nervous little giggle and DICK finds himself telling over and over a line from Swinburne grotesquely appropriate to the scene
One gaunt bleak blossom of scentless breath
… Out of the hush the voice of ANTHONY sober and strained saying something to ADAM PATCH then this too dies away
SHUTTLEWORTH Passionately Your grandfather thought he would motor over to see your house I phoned from Rye and left a message
A series of little gasps emanating apparently from nowhere from no one fall into the next pause ANTHONY is the color of chalk GLORIAS lips are parted and her level gaze at the old man is tense and frightened There is not one smile in the room Not one Or does CROSS PATCHS drawn mouth tremble slightly open to expose the even rows of his thin teeth He speaks—five mild and simple words
ADAM PATCH Well go back now Shuttleworth—And that is all He turns and assisted by his cane goes out through the hall through the front door and with hellish portentousness his uncertain footsteps crunch on the gravel path under the August moon
RETROSPECT
In this extremity they were like two goldfish in a bowl from which all the water had been drawn they could not even swim across to each other
Gloria would be twentysix in May There was nothing she had said that she wanted except to be young and beautiful for a long time to be gay and happy and to have money and love She wanted what most women want but she wanted it much more fiercely and passionately She had been married over two years At first there had been days of serene understanding rising to ecstasies of proprietorship and pride Alternating with these periods had occurred sporadic hates enduring a short hour and forgetfulnesses lasting no longer than an afternoon That had been for half a year
Then the serenity the content had become less jubilant had become gray—very rarely with the spur of jealousy or forced separation the ancient ecstasies returned the apparent communion of soul and soul the emotional excitement It was possible for her to hate Anthony for as much as a full day to be carelessly incensed at him for as long as a week Recrimination had displaced affection as an indulgence almost as an entertainment and there were nights when they would go to sleep trying to remember who was angry and who should be reserved next morning And as the second year waned there had entered two new elements Gloria realized that Anthony had become capable of utter indifference toward her a temporary indifference more than half lethargic but one from which she could no longer stir him by a whispered word or a certain intimate smile There were days when her caresses affected him as a sort of suffocation She was conscious of these things she never entirely admitted them to herself
It was only recently that she perceived that in spite of her adoration of him her jealousy her servitude her pride she fundamentally despised him—and her contempt blended indistinguishably with her other emotions… All this was her love—the vital and feminine illusion that had directed itself toward him one April night many months before
On Anthonys part she was in spite of these qualifications his sole preoccupation Had he lost her he would have been a broken man wretchedly and sentimentally absorbed in her memory for the remainder of life He seldom took pleasure in an entire day spent alone with her—except on occasions he preferred to have a third person with them There were times when he felt that if he were not left absolutely alone he would go mad—there were a few times when he definitely hated her In his cups he was capable of short attractions toward other women the hithertosuppressed outcroppings of an experimental temperament
That spring that summer they had speculated upon future happiness—how they were to travel from summer land to summer land returning eventually to a gorgeous estate and possible idyllic children then entering diplomacy or politics to accomplish for a while beautiful and important things until finally as a whitehaired beautifully silkily whitehaired couple they were to loll about in serene glory worshipped by the bourgeoisie of the land… These times were to begin when we get our money it was on such dreams rather than on any satisfaction with their increasingly irregular increasingly dissipated life that their hope rested On gray mornings when the jests of the night before had shrunk to ribaldries without wit or dignity they could after a fashion bring out this batch of common hopes and count them over then smile at each other and repeat by way of clinching the matter the terse yet sincere Nietzscheanism of Glorias defiant I dont care
Things had been slipping perceptibly There was the money question increasingly annoying increasingly ominous there was the realization that liquor had become a practical necessity to their amusement—not an uncommon phenomenon in the British aristocracy of a hundred years ago but a somewhat alarming one in a civilization steadily becoming more temperate and more circumspect Moreover both of them seemed vaguely weaker in fibre not so much in what they did as in their subtle reactions to the civilization about them In Gloria had been born something that she had hitherto never needed—the skeleton incomplete but nevertheless unmistakable of her ancient abhorrence a conscience This admission to herself was coincidental with the slow decline of her physical courage
Then on the August morning after Adam Patchs unexpected call they awoke nauseated and tired dispirited with life capable only of one pervasive emotion—fear
PANIC
Well Anthony sat up in bed and looked down at her The corners of his lips were drooping with depression his voice was strained and hollow
Her reply was to raise her hand to her mouth and begin a slow precise nibbling at her finger
Weve done it he said after a pause then as she was still silent he became exasperated Why dont you say something
What on earth do you want me to say
What are you thinking
Nothing
Then stop biting your finger
Ensued a short confused discussion of whether or not she had been thinking It seemed essential to Anthony that she should muse aloud upon last nights disaster Her silence was a method of settling the responsibility on him For her part she saw no necessity for speech—the moment required that she should gnaw at her finger like a nervous child
Ive got to fix up this damn mess with my grandfather he said with uneasy conviction A faint newborn respect was indicated by his use of my grandfather instead of grampa
You cant she affirmed abruptly You cant—ever Hell never forgive you as long as he lives
Perhaps not agreed Anthony miserably Still—I might possibly square myself by some sort of reformation and all that sort of thing—
He looked sick she interrupted pale as flour
He is sick I told you that three months ago
I wish hed died last week she said petulantly Inconsiderate old fool
Neither of them laughed
But just let me say she added quietly the next time I see you acting with any woman like you did with Rachael Barnes last night Ill leave you—just—like—that Im simply not going to stand it
Anthony quailed
Oh dont be absurd he protested You know theres no woman in the world for me except you—none dearest
His attempt at a tender note failed miserably—the more imminent danger stalked back into the foreground
If I went to him suggested Anthony and said with appropriate biblical quotations that Id walked too long in the way of unrighteousness and at last seen the light— He broke off and glanced with a whimsical expression at his wife I wonder what hed do
I dont know
She was speculating as to whether or not their guests would have the acumen to leave directly after breakfast
Not for a week did Anthony muster the courage to go to Tarrytown The prospect was revolting and left alone he would have been incapable of making the trip—but if his will had deteriorated in these past three years so had his power to resist urging Gloria compelled him to go It was all very well to wait a week she said for that would give his grandfathers violent animosity time to cool—but to wait longer would be an error—it would give it a chance to harden
He went in trepidation … and vainly Adam Patch was not well said Shuttleworth indignantly Positive instructions had been given that no one was to see him Before the exginphysicians vindictive eye Anthonys front wilted He walked out to his taxicab with what was almost a slink—recovering only a little of his selfrespect as he boarded the train glad to escape boylike to the wonder palaces of consolation that still rose and glittered in his own mind
Gloria was scornful when he returned to Marietta Why had he not forced his way in That was what she would have done
Between them they drafted a letter to the old man and after considerable revision sent it off It was half an apology half a manufactured explanation The letter was not answered
Came a day in September a day slashed with alternate sun and rain sun without warmth rain without freshness On that day they left the gray house which had seen the flower of their love Four trunks and three monstrous crates were piled in the dismantled room where two years before they had sprawled lazily thinking in terms of dreams remote languorous content The room echoed with emptiness Gloria in a new brown dress edged with fur sat upon a trunk in silence and Anthony walked nervously to and fro smoking as they waited for the truck that would take their things to the city
What are those she demanded pointing to some books piled upon one of the crates
Thats my old stamp collection he confessed sheepishly I forgot to pack it
Anthony its so silly to carry it around
Well I was looking through it the day we left the apartment last spring and I decided not to store it
Cant you sell it Havent we enough junk
Im sorry he said humbly
With a thunderous rattling the truck rolled up to the door Gloria shook her fist defiantly at the four walls
Im so glad to go she cried so glad Oh my God how I hate this house
So the brilliant and beautiful lady went up with her husband to New York On the very train that bore them away they quarrelled—her bitter words had the frequency the regularity the inevitability of the stations they passed
Dont be cross begged Anthony piteously Weve got nothing but each other after all
We havent even that most of the time cried Gloria
When havent we
A lot of times—beginning with one occasion on the station platform at
Redgate
You dont mean to say that—
No she interrupted coolly I dont brood over it It came and went—and when it went it took something with it
She finished abruptly Anthony sat in silence confused depressed The drab visions of trainside Mamaroneck Larchmont Rye Pelham Manor succeeded each other with intervals of bleak and shoddy wastes posing ineffectually as country He found himself remembering how on one summer morning they two had started from New York in search of happiness They had never expected to find it perhaps yet in itself that quest had been happier than anything he expected forevermore Life it seemed must be a setting up of props around one—otherwise it was disaster There was no rest no quiet He had been futile in longing to drift and dream no one drifted except to maelstroms no one dreamed without his dreams becoming fantastic nightmares of indecision and regret
Pelham They had quarrelled in Pelham because Gloria must drive And when she set her little foot on the accelerator the car had jumped off spunkily and their two heads had jerked back like marionettes worked by a single string
The Bronx—the houses gathering and gleaming in the sun which was falling now through wide refulgent skies and tumbling caravans of light down into the streets New York he supposed was home—the city of luxury and mystery of preposterous hopes and exotic dreams Here on the outskirts absurd stucco palaces reared themselves in the cool sunset poised for an instant in cool unreality glided off far away succeeded by the mazed confusion of the Harlem River The train moved in through the deepening twilight above and past half a hundred cheerful sweating streets of the upper East Side each one passing the car window like the space between the spokes of a gigantic wheel each one with its vigorous colorful revelation of poor children swarming in feverish activity like vivid ants in alleys of red sand From the tenement windows leaned rotund moonshaped mothers as constellations of this sordid heaven women like dark imperfect jewels women like vegetables women like great bags of abominably dirty laundry
I like these streets observed Anthony aloud I always feel as though its a performance being staged for me as though the second Ive passed theyll all stop leaping and laughing and instead grow very sad remembering how poor they are and retreat with bowed heads into their houses You often get that effect abroad but seldom in this country
Down in a tall busy street he read a dozen Jewish names on a line of stores in the door of each stood a dark little man watching the passers from intent eyes—eyes gleaming with suspicion with pride with clarity with cupidity with comprehension New York—he could not dissociate it now from the slow upward creep of this people—the little stores growing expanding consolidating moving watched over with hawks eyes and a bees attention to detail—they slathered out on all sides It was impressive—in perspective it was tremendous
Glorias voice broke in with strange appropriateness upon his thoughts
I wonder where Bloeckmans been this summer
THE APARTMENT
After the sureties of youth there sets in a period of intense and intolerable complexity With the sodajerker this period is so short as to be almost negligible Men higher in the scale hold out longer in the attempt to preserve the ultimate niceties of relationship to retain impractical ideas of integrity But by the late twenties the business has grown too intricate and what has hitherto been imminent and confusing has become gradually remote and dim Routine comes down like twilight on a harsh landscape softening it until it is tolerable The complexity is too subtle too varied the values are changing utterly with each lesion of vitality it has begun to appear that we can learn nothing from the past with which to face the future—so we cease to be impulsive convincible men interested in what is ethically true by fine margins we substitute rules of conduct for ideas of integrity we value safety above romance we become quite unconsciously pragmatic It is left to the few to be persistently concerned with the nuances of relationships—and even this few only in certain hours especially set aside for the task
Anthony Patch had ceased to be an individual of mental adventure of curiosity and had become an individual of bias and prejudice with a longing to be emotionally undisturbed This gradual change had taken place through the past several years accelerated by a succession of anxieties preying on his mind There was first of all the sense of waste always dormant in his heart now awakened by the circumstances of his position In his moments of insecurity he was haunted by the suggestion that life might be after all significant In his early twenties the conviction of the futility of effort of the wisdom of abnegation had been confirmed by the philosophies he had admired as well as by his association with Maury Noble and later with his wife Yet there had been occasions—just before his first meeting with Gloria for example and when his grandfather had suggested that he should go abroad as a war correspondent—upon which his dissatisfaction had driven him almost to a positive step
One day just before they left Marietta for the last time in carelessly turning over the pages of a Harvard Alumni Bulletin he had found a column which told him what his contemporaries had been about in this six years since graduation Most of them were in business it was true and several were converting the heathen of China or America to a nebulous protestantism but a few he found were working constructively at jobs that were neither sinecures nor routines There was Calvin Boyd for instance who though barely out of medical school had discovered a new treatment for typhus had shipped abroad and was mitigating some of the civilization that the Great Powers had brought to Servia there was Eugene Bronson whose articles in The New Democracy were stamping him as a man with ideas transcending both vulgar timeliness and popular hysteria there was a man named Daly who had been suspended from the faculty of a righteous university for preaching Marxian doctrines in the classroom in art science politics he saw the authentic personalities of his time emerging—there was even Severance the quarterback who had given up his life rather neatly and gracefully with the Foreign Legion on the Aisne
He laid down the magazine and thought for a while about these diverse men In the days of his integrity he would have defended his attitude to the last—an Epicurus in Nirvana he would have cried that to struggle was to believe to believe was to limit He would as soon have become a churchgoer because the prospect of immortality gratified him as he would have considered entering the leather business because the intensity of the competition would have kept him from unhappiness But at present he had no such delicate scruples This autumn as his twentyninth year began he was inclined to close his mind to many things to avoid prying deeply into motive and first causes and mostly to long passionately for security from the world and from himself He hated to be alone as has been said he often dreaded being alone with Gloria
Because of the chasm which his grandfathers visit had opened before him and the consequent revulsion from his late mode of life it was inevitable that he should look around in this suddenly hostile city for the friends and environments that had once seemed the warmest and most secure His first step was a desperate attempt to get back his old apartment
In the spring of 1912 he had signed a fouryear lease at seventeen hundred a year with an option of renewal This lease had expired the previous May When he had first rented the rooms they had been mere potentialities scarcely to be discerned as that but Anthony had seen into these potentialities and arranged in the lease that he and the landlord should each spend a certain amount in improvements Rents had gone up in the past four years and last spring when Anthony had waived his option the landlord a Mr Sohenberg had realized that he could get a much bigger price for what was now a prepossessing apartment Accordingly when Anthony approached him on the subject in September he was met with Sohenbergs offer of a threeyear lease at twentyfive hundred a year This it seemed to Anthony was outrageous It meant that well over a third of their income would be consumed in rent In vain he argued that his own money his own ideas on the repartitioning had made the rooms attractive
In vain he offered two thousand dollars—twentytwo hundred though they could ill afford it Mr Sohenberg was obdurate It seemed that two other gentlemen were considering it just that sort of an apartment was in demand for the moment and it would scarcely be business to give it to Mr Patch Besides though he had never mentioned it before several of the other tenants had complained of noise during the previous winter—singing and dancing late at night that sort of thing
Internally raging Anthony hurried back to the Ritz to report his discomfiture to Gloria
I can just see you she stormed letting him back you down
What could I say
You could have told him what he was I wouldnt have stood it No other man in the world would have stood it You just let people order you around and cheat you and bully you and take advantage of you as if you were a silly little boy Its absurd
Oh for Heavens sake dont lose your temper
I know Anthony but you are such an ass
Well possibly Anyway we cant afford that apartment But we can afford it better than living here at the Ritz
You were the one who insisted on coming here
Yes because I knew youd be miserable in a cheap hotel
Of course I would
At any rate weve got to find a place to live
How much can we pay she demanded
Well we can pay even his price if we sell more bonds but we agreed last night that until I had gotten something definite to do we
Oh I know all that I asked you how much we can pay out of just our income
They say you ought not to pay more than a fourth
How much is a fourth
One hundred and fifty a month
Do you mean to say weve got only six hundred dollars coming in every month A subdued note crept into her voice
Of course he answered angrily Do you think weve gone on spending more than twelve thousand a year without cutting way into our capital
I knew wed sold bonds but—have we spent that much a year How did we Her awe increased
Oh Ill look in those careful accountbooks we kept he remarked ironically and then added Two rents a good part of the time clothes travel—why each of those springs in California cost about four thousand dollars That darn car was an expense from start to finish And parties and amusements and—oh one thing or another
They were both excited now and inordinately depressed The situation seemed worse in the actual telling Gloria than it had when he had first made the discovery himself
Youve got to make some money she said suddenly
I know it
And youve got to make another attempt to see your grandfather
I will
When
When we get settled
This eventuality occurred a week later They rented a small apartment on Fiftyseventh Street at one hundred and fifty a month It included bedroom livingroom kitchenette and bath in a thin whitestone apartment house and though the rooms were too small to display Anthonys best furniture they were clean new and in a blonde and sanitary way not unattractive Bounds had gone abroad to enlist in the British army and in his place they tolerated rather than enjoyed the services of a gaunt bigboned Irishwoman whom Gloria loathed because she discussed the glories of Sinn Fein as she served breakfast But they vowed they would have no more Japanese and English servants were for the present hard to obtain Like Bounds the woman prepared only breakfast Their other meals they took at restaurants and hotels
What finally drove Anthony posthaste up to Tarrytown was an announcement in several New York papers that Adam Patch the multimillionaire the philanthropist the venerable uplifter was seriously ill and not expected to recover
THE KITTEN
Anthony could not see him The doctors instructions were that he was to talk to no one said Mr Shuttleworth—who offered kindly to take any message that Anthony might care to intrust with him and deliver it to Adam Patch when his condition permitted But by obvious innuendo he confirmed Anthonys melancholy inference that the prodigal grandson would be particularly unwelcome at the bedside At one point in the conversation Anthony with Glorias positive instructions in mind made a move as though to brush by the secretary but Shuttleworth with a smile squared his brawny shoulders and Anthony saw how futile such an attempt would be
Miserably intimidated he returned to New York where husband and wife passed a restless week A little incident that occurred one evening indicated to what tension their nerves were drawn
Walking home along a crossstreet after dinner Anthony noticed a nightbound cat prowling near a railing
I always have an instinct to kick a cat he said idly
I like them
I yielded to it once
When
Oh years ago before I met you One night between the acts of a show Cold night like this and I was a little tight—one of the first times I was ever tight he added The poor little beggar was looking for a place to sleep I guess and I was in a mean mood so it took my fancy to kick it—
Oh the poor kitty cried Gloria sincerely moved Inspired with the narrative instinct Anthony enlarged on the theme
It was pretty bad he admitted The poor little beast turned around and looked at me rather plaintively as though hoping Id pick him up and be kind to him—he was really just a kitten—and before he knew it a big foot launched out at him and caught his little back
Oh Glorias cry was full of anguish
It was such a cold night he continued perversely keeping his voice upon a melancholy note I guess it expected kindness from somebody and it got only pain—
He broke off suddenly—Gloria was sobbing They had reached home and when they entered the apartment she threw herself upon the lounge crying as though he had struck at her very soul
Oh the poor little kitty she repeated piteously the poor little kitty So cold—
Gloria
Dont come near me Please dont come near me You killed the soft little kitty
Touched Anthony knelt beside her
Dear he said Oh Gloria darling It isnt true I invented it—every word of it
But she would not believe him There had been something in the details he had chosen to describe that made her cry herself asleep that night for the kitten for Anthony for herself for the pain and bitterness and cruelty of all the world
THE PASSING OF AN AMERICAN MORALIST
Old Adam died on a midnight of late November with a pious compliment to his God on his thin lips He who had been flattered so much faded out flattering the Omnipotent Abstraction which he fancied he might have angered in the more lascivious moments of his youth It was announced that he had arranged some sort of an armistice with the deity the terms of which were not made public though they were thought to have included a large cash payment All the newspapers printed his biography and two of them ran short editorials on his sterling worth and his part in the drama of industrialism with which he had grown up They referred guardedly to the reforms he had sponsored and financed The memories of Comstock and Cato the Censor were resuscitated and paraded like gaunt ghosts through the columns
Every newspaper remarked that he was survived by a single grandson
Anthony Comstock Patch of New York
The burial took place in the family plot at Tarrytown Anthony and Gloria rode in the first carriage too worried to feel grotesque both trying desperately to glean presage of fortune from the faces of retainers who had been with him at the end
They waited a frantic week for decency and then having received no notification of any kind Anthony called up his grandfathers lawyer Mr Brett was not he was expected back in an hour Anthony left his telephone number
It was the last day of November cool and crackling outside with a lustreless sun peering bleakly in at the windows While they waited for the call ostensibly engaged in reading the atmosphere within and without seemed pervaded with a deliberate rendition of the pathetic fallacy After an interminable while the bell jingled and Anthony starting violently took up the receiver
Hello … His voice was strained and hollow Yes—I did leave word
Who is this please … Yes… Why it was about the estate Naturally
Im interested and Ive received no word about the reading of the
will—I thought you might not have my address… What … Yes …
Gloria fell on her knees The intervals between Anthonys speeches were like tourniquets winding on her heart She found herself helplessly twisting the large buttons from a velvet cushion Then
Thats—thats very very odd—thats very odd—thats very odd Not even any—ah—mention or any—ah—reason
His voice sounded faint and far away She uttered a little sound half gasp half cry
Yes Ill see… All right thanks … thanks…
The phone clicked Her eyes looking along the floor saw his feet cut the pattern of a patch of sunlight on the carpet She arose and faced him with a gray level glance just as his arms folded about her
My dearest he whispered huskily He did it God damn him
NEXT DAY
Who are the heirs asked Mr Haight You see when you can tell me so little about it—
Mr Haight was tall and bent and beetlebrowed He had been recommended to Anthony as an astute and tenacious lawyer
I only know vaguely answered Anthony A man named Shuttleworth who was a sort of pet of his has the whole thing in charge as administrator or trustee or something—all except the direct bequests to charity and the provisions for servants and for those two cousins in Idaho
How distant are the cousins
Oh third or fourth anyway I never even heard of them
Mr Haight nodded comprehensively
And you want to contest a provision of the will
I guess so admitted Anthony helplessly I want to do what sounds most hopeful—thats what I want you to tell me
You want them to refuse probate to the will
Anthony shook his head
Youve got me I havent any idea what probate is I want a share of the estate
Suppose you tell me some more details For instance do you know why the testator disinherited you
Why—yes began Anthony You see he was always a sucker for moral reform and all that—
I know interjected Mr Haight humorlessly
—and I dont suppose he ever thought I was much good I didnt go into business you see But I feel certain that up to last summer I was one of the beneficiaries We had a house out in Marietta and one night grandfather got the notion hed come over and see us It just happened that there was a rather gay party going on and he arrived without any warning Well he took one look he and this fellow Shuttleworth and then turned around and tore right back to Tarrytown After that he never answered my letters or even let me see him
He was a prohibitionist wasnt he
He was everything—regular religious maniac
How long before his death was the will made that disinherited you
Recently—I mean since August
And you think that the direct reason for his not leaving you the majority of the estate was his displeasure with your recent actions
Yes
Mr Haight considered Upon what grounds was Anthony thinking of contesting the will
Why isnt there something about evil influence
Undue influence is one ground—but its the most difficult You would have to show that such pressure was brought to bear so that the deceased was in a condition where he disposed of his property contrary to his intentions—
Well suppose this fellow Shuttleworth dragged him over to Marietta just when he thought some sort of a celebration was probably going on
That wouldnt have any bearing on the case Theres a strong division between advice and influence Youd have to prove that the secretary had a sinister intention Id suggest some other grounds A will is automatically refused probate in case of insanity drunkenness—here Anthony smiled—or feeblemindedness through premature old age
But objected Anthony his private physician being one of the beneficiaries would testify that he wasnt feebleminded And he wasnt As a matter of fact he probably did just what he intended to with his money—it was perfectly consistent with everything hed ever done in his life—
Well you see feeblemindedness is a great deal like undue influence—it implies that the property wasnt disposed of as originally intended The most common ground is duress—physical pressure
Anthony shook his head
Not much chance on that Im afraid Undue influence sounds best to me
After more discussion so technical as to be largely unintelligible to Anthony he retained Mr Haight as counsel The lawyer proposed an interview with Shuttleworth who jointly with Wilson Hiemer and Hardy was executor of the will Anthony was to come back later in the week
It transpired that the estate consisted of approximately forty million dollars The largest bequest to an individual was of one million to Edward Shuttleworth who received in addition thirty thousand a year salary as administrator of the thirtymilliondollar trust fund left to be doled out to various charities and reform societies practically at his own discretion The remaining nine millions were proportioned among the two cousins in Idaho and about twentyfive other beneficiaries friends secretaries servants and employees who had at one time or another earned the seal of Adam Patchs approval
At the end of another fortnight Mr Haight on a retainers fee of fifteen thousand dollars had begun preparations for contesting the will
THE WINTER OF DISCONTENT
Before they had been two months in the little apartment on Fiftyseventh Street it had assumed for both of them the same indefinable but almost material taint that had impregnated the gray house in Marietta There was the odor of tobacco always—both of them smoked incessantly it was in their clothes their blankets the curtains and the ashlittered carpets Added to this was the wretched aura of stale wine with its inevitable suggestion of beauty gone foul and revelry remembered in disgust About a particular set of glass goblets on the sideboard the odor was particularly noticeable and in the main room the mahogany table was ringed with white circles where glasses had been set down upon it There had been many parties—people broke things people became sick in Glorias bathroom people spilled wine people made unbelievable messes of the kitchenette
These things were a regular part of their existence Despite the resolutions of many Mondays it was tacitly understood as the week end approached that it should be observed with some sort of unholy excitement When Saturday came they would not discuss the matter but would call up this person or that from among their circle of sufficiently irresponsible friends and suggest a rendezvous Only after the friends had gathered and Anthony had set out decanters would he murmur casually I guess Ill have just one highball myself—
Then they were off for two days—realizing on a wintry dawn that they had been the noisiest and most conspicuous members of the noisiest and most conspicuous party at the Boul Mich or the Club Ramée or at other resorts much less particular about the hilarity of their clientèle They would find that they had somehow squandered eighty or ninety dollars how they never knew they customarily attributed it to the general penury of the friends who had accompanied them
It began to be not unusual for the more sincere of their friends to remonstrate with them in the very course of a party and to predict a sombre end for them in the loss of Glorias looks and Anthonys constitution
The story of the summarily interrupted revel in Marietta had of course leaked out in detail—Muriel doesnt mean to tell every one she knows said Gloria to Anthony but she thinks every one she tells is the only one shes going to tell—and diaphanously veiled the tale had been given a conspicuous place in Town Tattle When the terms of Adam Patchs will were made public and the newspapers printed items concerning Anthonys suit the story was beautifully rounded out—to Anthonys infinite disparagement They began to hear rumors about themselves from all quarters rumors founded usually on a soupcon of truth but overlaid with preposterous and sinister detail
Outwardly they showed no signs of deterioration Gloria at twentysix was still the Gloria of twenty her complexion a fresh damp setting for her candid eyes her hair still a childish glory darkening slowly from corn color to a deep russet gold her slender body suggesting ever a nymph running and dancing through Orphic groves Masculine eyes dozens of them followed her with a fascinated stare when she walked through a hotel lobby or down the aisle of a theatre Men asked to be introduced to her fell into prolonged states of sincere admiration made definite love to her—for she was still a thing of exquisite and unbelievable beauty And for his part Anthony had rather gained than lost in appearance his face had taken on a certain intangible air of tragedy romantically contrasted with his trim and immaculate person
Early in the winter when all conversation turned on the probability of Americas going into the war when Anthony was making a desperate and sincere attempt to write Muriel Kane arrived in New York and came immediately to see them Like Gloria she seemed never to change She knew the latest slang danced the latest dances and talked of the latest songs and plays with all the fervor of her first season as a New York drifter Her coyness was eternally new eternally ineffectual her clothes were extreme her black hair was bobbed now like Glorias
Ive come up for the midwinter prom at New Haven she announced imparting her delightful secret Though she must have been older then than any of the boys in college she managed always to secure some sort of invitation imagining vaguely that at the next party would occur the flirtation which was to end at the romantic altar
Whereve you been inquired Anthony unfailingly amused
Ive been at Hot Springs Its been slick and peppy this fall—more men
Are you in love Muriel
What do you mean love This was the rhetorical question of the year Im going to tell you something she said switching the subject abruptly I suppose its none of my business but I think its time for you two to settle down
Why we are settled down
Yes you are she scoffed archly Everywhere I go I hear stories of your escapades Let me tell you I have an awful time sticking up for you
You neednt bother said Gloria coldly
Now Gloria she protested you know Im one of your best friends
Gloria was silent Muriel continued
Its not so much the idea of a woman drinking but Glorias so pretty and so many people know her by sight all around that its naturally conspicuous—
What have you heard recently demanded Gloria her dignity going down before her curiosity
Well for instance that that party in Marietta killed Anthonys grandfather
Instantly husband and wife were tense with annoyance
Why I think thats outrageous
Thats what they say persisted Muriel stubbornly
Anthony paced the room Its preposterous he declared The very people we take on parties shout the story around as a great joke—and eventually it gets back to us in some such form as this
Gloria began running her finger through a stray reddish curl Muriel licked her veil as she considered her next remark
You ought to have a baby
Gloria looked up wearily
We cant afford it
All the people in the slums have them said Muriel triumphantly
Anthony and Gloria exchanged a smile They had reached the stage of violent quarrels that were never made up quarrels that smouldered and broke out again at intervals or died away from sheer indifference—but this visit of Muriels drew them temporarily together When the discomfort under which they were living was remarked upon by a third party it gave them the impetus to face this hostile world together It was very seldom now that the impulse toward reunion sprang from within
Anthony found himself associating his own existence with that of the apartments night elevator man a pale scraggly bearded person of about sixty with an air of being somewhat above his station It was probably because of this quality that he had secured the position it made him a pathetic and memorable figure of failure Anthony recollected without humor a hoary jest about the elevator mans career being a matter of ups and downs—it was at any rate an enclosed life of infinite dreariness Each time Anthony stepped into the car he waited breathlessly for the old mans Well I guess were going to have some sunshine today Anthony thought how little rain or sunshine he would enjoy shut into that close little cage in the smokecolored windowless hall
A darkling figure he attained tragedy in leaving the life that had used him so shabbily Three young gunmen came in one night tied him up and left him on a pile of coal in the cellar while they went through the trunk room When the janitor found him next morning he had collapsed from chill He died of pneumonia four days later
He was replaced by a glib Martinique negro with an incongruous British accent and a tendency to be surly whom Anthony detested The passing of the old man had approximately the same effect on him that the kitten story had had on Gloria He was reminded of the cruelty of all life and in consequence of the increasing bitterness of his own
He was writing—and in earnest at last He had gone to Dick and listened for a tense hour to an elucidation of those minutiae of procedure which hitherto he had rather scornfully looked down upon He needed money immediately—he was selling bonds every month to pay their bills Dick was frank and explicit
So far as articles on literary subjects in these obscure magazines go you couldnt make enough to pay your rent Of course if a man has the gift of humor or a chance at a big biography or some specialized knowledge he may strike it rich But for you fictions the only thing You say you need money right away
I certainly do
Well itd be a year and a half before youd make any money out of a novel Try some popular short stories And by the way unless theyre exceptionally brilliant they have to be cheerful and on the side of the heaviest artillery to make you any money
Anthony thought of Dicks recent output which had been appearing in a wellknown monthly It was concerned chiefly with the preposterous actions of a class of sawdust effigies who one was assured were New York society people and it turned as a rule upon questions of the heroines technical purity with mocksociological overtones about the mad antics of the four hundred
But your stories— exclaimed Anthony aloud almost involuntarily
Oh thats different Dick asserted astoundingly I have a reputation you see so Im expected to deal with strong themes
Anthony gave an interior start realizing with this remark how much Richard Caramel had fallen off Did he actually think that these amazing latter productions were as good as his first novel
Anthony went back to the apartment and set to work He found that the business of optimism was no mean task After half a dozen futile starts he went to the public library and for a week investigated the files of a popular magazine Then better equipped he accomplished his first story The Dictaphone of Fate It was founded upon one of his few remaining impressions of that six weeks in Wall Street the year before It purported to be the sunny tale of an office boy who quite by accident hummed a wonderful melody into the dictaphone The cylinder was discovered by the bosss brother a wellknown producer of musical comedy—and then immediately lost The body of the story was concerned with the pursuit of the missing cylinder and the eventual marriage of the noble office boy now a successful composer to Miss Rooney the virtuous stenographer who was half Joan of Arc and half Florence Nightingale
He had gathered that this was what the magazines wanted He offered in his protagonists the customary denizens of the pinkandblue literary world immersing them in a saccharine plot that would offend not a single stomach in Marietta He had it typed in double space—this last as advised by a booklet Success as a Writer Made Easy by R Meggs Widdlestien which assured the ambitious plumber of the futility of perspiration since after a sixlesson course he could make at least a thousand dollars a month
After reading it to a bored Gloria and coaxing from her the immemorial remark that it was better than a lot of stuff that gets published he satirically affixed the nom de plume of Gilles de Sade enclosed the proper return envelope and sent it off
Following the gigantic labor of conception he decided to wait until he heard from the first story before beginning another Dick had told him that he might get as much as two hundred dollars If by any chance it did happen to be unsuited the editors letter would no doubt give him an idea of what changes should be made
It is without question the most abominable piece of writing in existence said Anthony
The editor quite conceivably agreed with him He returned the manuscript with a rejection slip Anthony sent it off elsewhere and began another story The second one was called The Little Open Doors it was written in three days It concerned the occult an estranged couple were brought together by a medium in a vaudeville show
There were six altogether six wretched and pitiable efforts to write down by a man who had never before made a consistent effort to write at all Not one of them contained a spark of vitality and their total yield of grace and felicity was less than that of an average newspaper column During their circulation they collected all told thirtyone rejection slips headstones for the packages that he would find lying like dead bodies at his door
In midJanuary Glorias father died and they went again to Kansas City—a miserable trip for Gloria brooded interminably not upon her fathers death but on her mothers Russel Gilberts affairs having been cleared up they came into possession of about three thousand dollars and a great amount of furniture This was in storage for he had spent his last days in a small hotel It was due to his death that Anthony made a new discovery concerning Gloria On the journey East she disclosed herself astonishingly as a Bilphist
Why Gloria he cried you dont mean to tell me you believe that stuff
Well she said defiantly why not
Because its—its fantastic You know that in every sense of the word youre an agnostic Youd laugh at any orthodox form of Christianity—and then you come out with the statement that you believe in some silly rule of reincarnation
What if I do Ive heard you and Maury and every one else for whose intellect I have the slightest respect agree that life as it appears is utterly meaningless But its always seemed to me that if I were unconsciously learning something here it might not be so meaningless
Youre not learning anything—youre just getting tired And if you must have a faith to soften things take up one that appeals to the reason of some one beside a lot of hysterical women A person like you oughtnt to accept anything unless its decently demonstrable
I dont care about truth I want some happiness
Well if youve got a decent mind the second has got to be qualified by the first Any simple soul can delude himself with mental garbage
I dont care she held out stoutly and whats more Im not propounding any doctrine
The argument faded off but reoccurred to Anthony several times thereafter It was disturbing to find this old belief evidently assimilated from her mother inserting itself again under its immemorial disguise as an innate idea
They reached New York in March after an expensive and illadvised week spent in Hot Springs and Anthony resumed his abortive attempts at fiction As it became plainer to both of them that escape did not lie in the way of popular literature there was a further slipping of their mutual confidence and courage A complicated struggle went on incessantly between them All efforts to keep down expenses died away from sheer inertia and by March they were again using any pretext as an excuse for a party With an assumption of recklessness Gloria tossed out the suggestion that they should take all their money and go on a real spree while it lasted—anything seemed better than to see it go in unsatisfactory driblets
Gloria you want parties as much as I do
It doesnt matter about me Everything I do is in accordance with my ideas to use every minute of these years when Im young in having the best time I possibly can
How about after that
After that I wont care
Yes you will
Well I may—but I wont be able to do anything about it And Ill have had my good time
Youll be the same then After a fashion we have had our good time raised the devil and were in the state of paying for it
Nevertheless the money kept going There would be two days of gaiety two days of moroseness—an endless almost invariable round The sharp pullups when they occurred resulted usually in a spurt of work for Anthony while Gloria nervous and bored remained in bed or else chewed abstractedly at her fingers After a day or so of this they would make an engagement and then—Oh what did it matter This night this glow the cessation of anxiety and the sense that if living was not purposeful it was at any rate essentially romantic Wine gave a sort of gallantry to their own failure
Meanwhile the suit progressed slowly with interminable examinations of witnesses and marshallings of evidence The preliminary proceedings of settling the estate were finished Mr Haight saw no reason why the case should not come up for trial before summer
Bloeckman appeared in New York late in March he had been in England for nearly a year on matters concerned with Films Par Excellence The process of general refinement was still in progress—always he dressed a little better his intonation was mellower and in his manner there was perceptibly more assurance that the fine things of the world were his by a natural and inalienable right He called at the apartment remained only an hour during which he talked chiefly of the war and left telling them he was coming again On his second visit Anthony was not at home but an absorbed and excited Gloria greeted her husband later in the afternoon
Anthony she began would you still object if I went in the movies
His whole heart hardened against the idea As she seemed to recede from him if only in threat her presence became again not so much precious as desperately necessary
Oh Gloria—
Blockhead said hed put me in—only if Im ever going to do anything Ill have to start now They only want young women Think of the money Anthony
For you—yes But how about me
Dont you know that anything I have is yours too
Its such a hell of a career he burst out the moral the infinitely circumspect Anthony and such a hell of a bunch And Im so utterly tired of that fellow Bloeckman coming here and interfering I hate theatrical things
It isnt theatrical Its utterly different
What am I supposed to do Chase you all over the country Live on your money
Then make some yourself
The conversation developed into one of the most violent quarrels they had ever had After the ensuing reconciliation and the inevitable period of moral inertia she realized that he had taken the life out of the project Neither of them ever mentioned the probability that Bloeckman was by no means disinterested but they both knew that it lay back of Anthonys objection
In April war was declared with Germany Wilson and his cabinet—a cabinet that in its lack of distinction was strangely reminiscent of the twelve apostles—let loose the carefully starved dogs of war and the press began to whoop hysterically against the sinister morals sinister philosophy and sinister music produced by the Teutonic temperament Those who fancied themselves particularly broadminded made the exquisite distinction that it was only the German Government which aroused them to hysteria the rest were worked up to a condition of retching indecency Any song which contained the word mother and the word kaiser was assured of a tremendous success At last every one had something to talk about—and almost every one fully enjoyed it as though they had been cast for parts in a sombre and romantic play
Anthony Maury and Dick sent in their applications for officers trainingcamps and the two latter went about feeling strangely exalted and reproachless they chattered to each other like college boys of wars being the one excuse for and justification of the aristocrat and conjured up an impossible caste of officers to be composed it appeared chiefly of the more attractive alumni of three or four Eastern colleges It seemed to Gloria that in this huge red light streaming across the nation even Anthony took on a new glamour
The Tenth Infantry arriving in New York from Panama were escorted from saloon to saloon by patriotic citizens to their great bewilderment West Pointers began to be noticed for the first time in years and the general impression was that everything was glorious but not half so glorious as it was going to be pretty soon and that everybody was a fine fellow and every race a great race—always excepting the Germans—and in every strata of society outcasts and scapegoats had but to appear in uniform to be forgiven cheered and wept over by relatives exfriends and utter strangers
Unfortunately a small and precise doctor decided that there was something the matter with Anthonys bloodpressure He could not conscientiously pass him for an officers trainingcamp
THE BROKEN LUTE
Their third anniversary passed uncelebrated unnoticed The season warmed in thaw melted into hotter summer simmered and boiled away In July the will was offered for probate and upon the contestation was assigned by the surrogate to trial term for trial The matter was prolonged into September—there was difficulty in empanelling an unbiassed jury because of the moral sentiments involved To Anthonys disappointment a verdict was finally returned in favor of the testator whereupon Mr Haight caused a notice of appeal to be served upon Edward Shuttleworth
As the summer waned Anthony and Gloria talked of the things they were to do when the money was theirs and of the places they were to go to after the war when they would agree on things again for both of them looked forward to a time when love springing like the phoenix from its own ashes should be born again in its mysterious and unfathomable haunts
He was drafted early in the fall and the examining doctor made no mention of low bloodpressure It was all very purposeless and sad when Anthony told Gloria one night that he wanted above all things to be killed But as always they were sorry for each other for the wrong things at the wrong times…
They decided that for the present she was not to go with him to the Southern camp where his contingent was ordered She would remain in New York to use the apartment to save money and to watch the progress of the case—which was pending now in the Appellate Division of which the calendar Mr Haight told them was far behind
Almost their last conversation was a senseless quarrel about the proper division of the income—at a word either would have given it all to the other It was typical of the muddle and confusion of their lives that on the October night when Anthony reported at the Grand Central Station for the journey to camp she arrived only in time to catch his eye over the anxious heads of a gathered crowd Through the dark light of the enclosed trainsheds their glances stretched across a hysterical area foul with yellow sobbing and the smells of poor women They must have pondered upon what they had done to one another and each must have accused himself of drawing this sombre pattern through which they were tracing tragically and obscurely At the last they were too far away for either to see the others tears
BOOK THREE
CHAPTER I
A MATTER OF CIVILIZATION
At a frantic command from some invisible source Anthony groped his way inside He was thinking that for the first time in more than three years he was to remain longer than a night away from Gloria The finality of it appealed to him drearily It was his clean and lovely girl that he was leaving
They had arrived he thought at the most practical financial settlement she was to have three hundred and seventyfive dollars a month—not too much considering that over half of that would go in rent—and he was taking fifty to supplement his pay He saw no need for more food clothes and quarters would be provided—there were no social obligations for a private
The car was crowded and already thick with breath It was one of the type known as tourist cars a sort of brummagem Pullman with a bare floor and straw seats that needed cleaning Nevertheless Anthony greeted it with relief He had vaguely expected that the trip South would be made in a freightcar in one end of which would stand eight horses and in the other forty men He had heard the hommes 40 chevaux 8 story so often that it had become confused and ominous
As he rocked down the aisle with his barrackbag slung at his shoulder like a monstrous blue sausage he saw no vacant seats but after a moment his eye fell on a single space at present occupied by the feet of a short swarthy Sicilian who with his hat drawn over his eyes hunched defiantly in the corner As Anthony stopped beside him he stared up with a scowl evidently intended to be intimidating he must have adopted it as a defense against this entire gigantic equation At Anthonys sharp That seat taken he very slowly lifted the feet as though they were a breakable package and placed them with some care upon the floor His eyes remained on Anthony who meanwhile sat down and unbuttoned the uniform coat issued him at Camp Upton the day before It chafed him under the arms
Before Anthony could scrutinize the other occupants of the section a young second lieutenant blew in at the upper end of the car and wafted airily down the aisle announcing in a voice of appalling acerbity
There will be no smoking in this car No smoking Dont smoke men in this car
As he sailed out at the other end a dozen little clouds of expostulation arose on all sides
Oh cripe
Jeese
No smokin
Hey come back here fella
Whats ee idea
Two or three cigarettes were shot out through the open windows Others were retained inside though kept sketchily away from view From here and there in accents of bravado of mockery of submissive humor a few remarks were dropped that soon melted into the listless and pervasive silence
The fourth occupant of Anthonys section spoke up suddenly
Gby liberty he said sullenly Gby everything except bein an officers dog
Anthony looked at him He was a tall Irishman with an expression moulded of indifference and utter disdain His eyes fell on Anthony as though he expected an answer and then upon the others Receiving only a defiant stare from the Italian he groaned and spat noisily on the floor by way of a dignified transition back into taciturnity
A few minutes later the door opened again and the second lieutenant was borne in upon his customary official zephyr this time singing out a different tiding
All right men smoke if you want to My mistake men Its all right men Go on and smoke—my mistake
This time Anthony had a good look at him He was young thin already faded he was like his own mustache he was like a great piece of shiny straw His chin receded faintly this was offset by a magnificent and unconvincing scowl a scowl that Anthony was to connect with the faces of many young officers during the ensuing year
Immediately every one smoked—whether they had previously desired to or not Anthonys cigarette contributed to the hazy oxidation which seemed to roll back and forth in opalescent clouds with every motion of the train The conversation which had lapsed between the two impressive visits of the young officer now revived tepidly the men across the aisle began making clumsy experiments with their straw seats capacity for comparative comfort two card games halfheartedly begun soon drew several spectators to sitting positions on the arms of seats In a few minutes Anthony became aware of a persistently obnoxious sound—the small defiant Sicilian had fallen audibly asleep It was wearisome to contemplate that animate protoplasm reasonable by courtesy only shut up in a car by an incomprehensible civilization taken somewhere to do a vague something without aim or significance or consequence Anthony sighed opened a newspaper which he had no recollection of buying and began to read by the dim yellow light
Ten oclock bumped stuffily into eleven the hours clogged and caught and slowed down Amazingly the train halted along the dark countryside from time to time indulging in short deceitful movements backward or forward and whistling harsh paeans into the high October night Having read his newspaper through editorials cartoons and warpoems his eye fell on a halfcolumn headed Shakespeareville Kansas It seemed that the Shakespeareville Chamber of Commerce had recently held an enthusiastic debate as to whether the American soldiers should be known as Sammies or Battling Christians The thought gagged him He dropped the newspaper yawned and let his mind drift off at a tangent He wondered why Gloria had been late It seemed so long ago already—he had a pang of illusive loneliness He tried to imagine from what angle she would regard her new position what place in her considerations he would continue to hold The thought acted as a further depressant—he opened his paper and began to read again
The members of the Chamber of Commerce in Shakespeareville had decided upon Liberty Lads
For two nights and two days they rattled southward making mysterious inexplicable stops in what were apparently arid wastes and then rushing through large cities with a pompous air of hurry The whimsicalities of this train foreshadowed for Anthony the whimsicalities of all army administration
In the arid wastes they were served from the baggagecar with beans and bacon that at first he was unable to eat—he dined scantily on some milk chocolate distributed by a village canteen But on the second day the baggagecars output began to appear surprisingly palatable On the third morning the rumor was passed along that within the hour they would arrive at their destination Camp Hooker
It had become intolerably hot in the car and the men were all in shirt sleeves The sun came in through the windows a tired and ancient sun yellow as parchment and stretched out of shape in transit It tried to enter in triumphant squares and produced only warped splotches—but it was appallingly steady so much so that it disturbed Anthony not to be the pivot of all the inconsequential sawmills and trees and telegraph poles that were turning around him so fast Outside it played its heavy tremolo over olive roads and fallow cottonfields back of which ran a ragged line of woods broken with eminences of gray rock The foreground was dotted sparsely with wretched illpatched shanties among which there would flash by now and then a specimen of the languid yokelry of South Carolina or else a strolling darky with sullen and bewildered eyes
Then the woods moved off and they rolled into a broad space like the baked top of a gigantic cake sugared with an infinity of tents arranged in geometric figures over its surface The train came to an uncertain stop and the sun and the poles and the trees faded and his universe rocked itself slowly back to its old usualness with Anthony Patch in the centre As the men weary and perspiring crowded out of the car he smelt that unforgetable aroma that impregnates all permanent camps—the odor of garbage
Camp Hooker was an astonishing and spectacular growth suggesting A Mining Town in 1870—The Second Week It was a thing of wooden shacks and whitishgray tents connected by a pattern of roads with hard tan drillgrounds fringed with trees Here and there stood green YMCA houses unpromising oases with their muggy odor of wet flannels and closed telephonebooths—and across from each of them there was usually a canteen swarming with life presided over indolently by an officer who with the aid of a sidecar usually managed to make his detail a pleasant and chatty sinecure
Up and down the dusty roads sped the soldiers of the quartermaster corps also in sidecars Up and down drove the generals in their government automobiles stopping now and then to bring unalert details to attention to frown heavily upon captains marching at the heads of companies to set the pompous pace in that gorgeous game of showing off which was taking place triumphantly over the entire area
The first week after the arrival of Anthonys draft was filled with a series of interminable inoculations and physical examinations and with the preliminary drilling The days left him desperately tired He had been issued the wrong size shoes by a popular easygoing supplysergeant and in consequence his feet were so swollen that the last hours of the afternoon were an acute torture For the first time in his life he could throw himself down on his cot between dinner and afternoon drillcall and seeming to sink with each moment deeper into a bottomless bed drop off immediately to sleep while the noise and laughter around him faded to a pleasant drone of drowsy summer sound In the morning he awoke stiff and aching hollow as a ghost and hurried forth to meet the other ghostly figures who swarmed in the wan company streets while a harsh bugle shrieked and spluttered at the gray heavens
He was in a skeleton infantry company of about a hundred men After the invariable breakfast of fatty bacon cold toast and cereal the entire hundred would rush for the latrines which however wellpoliced seemed always intolerable like the lavatories in cheap hotels Out on the field then in ragged order—the lame man on his left grotesquely marring Anthonys listless efforts to keep in step the platoon sergeants either showing off violently to impress the officers and recruits or else quietly lurking in close to the line of march avoiding both labor and unnecessary visibility
When they reached the field work began immediately—they peeled off their shirts for calisthenics This was the only part of the day that Anthony enjoyed Lieutenant Kretching who presided at the antics was sinewy and muscular and Anthony followed his movements faithfully with a feeling that he was doing something of positive value to himself The other officers and sergeants walked about among the men with the malice of schoolboys grouping here and there around some unfortunate who lacked muscular control giving him confused instructions and commands When they discovered a particularly forlorn illnourished specimen they would linger the full halfhour making cutting remarks and snickering among themselves
One little officer named Hopkins who had been a sergeant in the regular army was particularly annoying He took the war as a gift of revenge from the high gods to himself and the constant burden of his harangues was that these rookies did not appreciate the full gravity and responsibility of the service He considered that by a combination of foresight and dauntless efficiency he had raised himself to his current magnificence He aped the particular tyrannies of every officer under whom he had served in times gone by His frown was frozen on his brow—before giving a private a pass to go to town he would ponderously weigh the effect of such an absence upon the company the army and the welfare of the military profession the world over
Lieutenant Kretching blond dull and phlegmatic introduced Anthony ponderously to the problems of attention right face about face and at ease His principal defect was his forgetfulness He often kept the company straining and aching at attention for five minutes while he stood out in front and explained a new movement—as a result only the men in the centre knew what it was all about—those on both flanks had been too emphatically impressed with the necessity of staring straight ahead
The drill continued until noon It consisted of stressing a succession of infinitely remote details and though Anthony perceived that this was consistent with the logic of war it none the less irritated him That the same faulty bloodpressure which would have been indecent in an officer did not interfere with the duties of a private was a preposterous incongruity Sometimes after listening to a sustained invective concerned with a dull and on the face of it absurd subject known as military courtesy he suspected that the dim purpose of the war was to let the regular army officers—men with the mentality and aspirations of schoolboys—have their fling with some real slaughter He was being grotesquely sacrificed to the twentyyear patience of a Hopkins
Of his three tentmates—a flatfaced conscientious objector from Tennessee a big scared Pole and the disdainful Celt whom he had sat beside on the train—the two former spent the evenings in writing eternal letters home while the Irishman sat in the tent door whistling over and over to himself half a dozen shrill and monotonous birdcalls It was rather to avoid an hour of their company than with any hope of diversion that when the quarantine was lifted at the end of the week he went into town He caught one of the swarm of jitneys that overran the camp each evening and in half an hour was set down in front of the Stonewall Hotel on the hot and drowsy main street
Under the gathering twilight the town was unexpectedly attractive The sidewalks were peopled by vividly dressed overpainted girls who chattered volubly in low lazy voices by dozens of taxidrivers who assailed passing officers with Take y anywheh _Lieu_tenant and by an intermittent procession of ragged shuffling subservient negroes Anthony loitering along through the warm dusk felt for the first time in years the slow erotic breath of the South imminent in the hot softness of the air in the pervasive lull of thought and time
He had gone about a block when he was arrested suddenly by a harsh command at his elbow
Havent you been taught to salute officers
He looked dumbly at the man who addressed him a stout blackhaired captain who fixed him menacingly with brown popeyes
Come to attention The words were literally thundered A few pedestrians near by stopped and stared A softeyed girl in a lilac dress tittered to her companion
Anthony came to attention
Whats your regiment and company
Anthony told him
After this when you pass an officer on the street you straighten up and salute
All right
Say Yes sir
Yes sir
The stout officer grunted turned sharply and marched down the street After a moment Anthony moved on the town was no longer indolent and exotic the magic was suddenly gone out of the dusk His eyes were turned precipitately inward upon the indignity of his position He hated that officer every officer—life was unendurable
After he had gone half a block he realized that the girl in the lilac dress who had giggled at his discomfiture was walking with her friend about ten paces ahead of him Several times she had turned and stared at Anthony with cheerful laughter in the large eyes that seemed the same color as her gown
At the corner she and her companion visibly slackened their pace—he must make his choice between joining them and passing obliviously by He passed hesitated then slowed down In a moment the pair were abreast of him again dissolved in laughter now—not such strident mirth as he would have expected in the North from actresses in this familiar comedy but a soft low rippling like the overflow from some subtle joke into which he had inadvertently blundered
How do you do he said
Her eyes were soft as shadows Were they violet or was it their blue darkness mingling with the gray hues of dusk
Pleasant evening ventured Anthony uncertainly
Sure is said the second girl
Hasnt been a very pleasant evening for you sighed the girl in lilac Her voice seemed as much a part of the night as the drowsy breeze stirring the wide brim of her hat
He had to have a chance to show off said Anthony with a scornful laugh
Reckon so she agreed
They turned the corner and moved lackadaisically up a side street as if following a drifting cable to which they were attached In this town it seemed entirely natural to turn corners like that it seemed natural to be bound nowhere in particular to be thinking nothing… The side street was dark a sudden offshoot into a district of wild rose hedges and little quiet houses set far back from the street
Wherere you going he inquired politely
Just goin The answer was an apology a question an explanation
Can I stroll along with you
Reckon so
It was an advantage that her accent was different He could not have determined the social status of a Southerner from her talk—in New York a girl of a lower class would have been raucous unendurable—except through the rosy spectacles of intoxication
Dark was creeping down Talking little—Anthony in careless casual questions the other two with provincial economy of phrase and burden—they sauntered past another corner and another In the middle of a block they stopped beneath a lamppost
I live near here explained the other girl
I live around the block said the girl in lilac
Can I see you home
To the corner if you want to
The other girl took a few steps backward Anthony removed his hat
Youre supposed to salute said the girl in lilac with a laugh All the soldiers salute
Ill learn he responded soberly
The other girl said Well— hesitated then added call me up tomorrow Dot and retreated from the yellow circle of the streetlamp Then in silence Anthony and the girl in lilac walked the three blocks to the small rickety house which was her home Outside the wooden gate she hesitated
Well—thanks
Must you go in so soon
I ought to
Cant you stroll around a little longer She regarded him dispassionately
I dont even know you
Anthony laughed
Its not too late
I reckon I better go in
I thought we might walk down and see a movie
Id like to
Then I could bring you home Id have just enough time Ive got to be in camp by eleven
It was so dark that he could scarcely see her now She was a dress swayed infinitesimally by the wind two limpid reckless eyes …
Why dont you come—Dot Dont you like movies Better come
She shook her head
I oughtnt to
He liked her realizing that she was temporizing for the effect on him
He came closer and took her hand
If we get back by ten cant you just to the movies
Well—I reckon so—
Hand in hand they walked back toward downtown along a hazy dusky street where a negro newsboy was calling an extra in the cadence of the local venders tradition a cadence that was as musical as song
Dot
Anthonys affair with Dorothy Raycroft was an inevitable result of his increasing carelessness about himself He did not go to her desiring to possess the desirable nor did he fall before a personality more vital more compelling than his own as he had done with Gloria four years before He merely slid into the matter through his inability to make definite judgments He could say No neither to man nor woman borrower and temptress alike found him tenderminded and pliable Indeed he seldom made decisions at all and when he did they were but halfhysterical resolves formed in the panic of some aghast and irreparable awakening
The particular weakness he indulged on this occasion was his need of excitement and stimulus from without He felt that for the first time in four years he could express and interpret himself anew The girl promised rest the hours in her company each evening alleviated the morbid and inevitably futile poundings of his imagination He had become a coward in earnest—completely the slave of a hundred disordered and prowling thoughts which were released by the collapse of the authentic devotion to Gloria that had been the chief jailer of his insufficiency
On that first night as they stood by the gate he kissed Dorothy and made an engagement to meet her the following Saturday Then he went out to camp and with the light burning lawlessly in his tent he wrote a long letter to Gloria a glowing letter full of the sentimental dark full of the remembered breath of flowers full of a true and exceeding tenderness—these things he had learned again for a moment in a kiss given and taken under a rich warm moonlight just an hour before
When Saturday night came he found Dot waiting at the entrance of the Bijou Moving Picture Theatre She was dressed as on the preceding Wednesday in her lilac gown of frailest organdy but it had evidently been washed and starched since then for it was fresh and unrumpled Daylight confirmed the impression he had received that in a sketchy faulty way she was lovely She was clean her features were small irregular but eloquent and appropriate to each other She was a dark unenduring little flower—yet he thought he detected in her some quality of spiritual reticence of strength drawn from her passive acceptance of all things In this he was mistaken
Dorothy Raycroft was nineteen Her father had kept a small unprosperous corner store and she had graduated from high school in the lowest fourth of her class two days before he died At high school she had enjoyed a rather unsavory reputation As a matter of fact her behavior at the class picnic where the rumors started had been merely indiscreet—she had retained her technical purity until over a year later The boy had been a clerk in a store on Jackson Street and on the day after the incident he departed unexpectedly to New York He had been intending to leave for some time but had tarried for the consummation of his amorous enterprise
After a while she confided the adventure to a girl friend and later as she watched her friend disappear down the sleepy street of dusty sunshine she knew in a flash of intuition that her story was going out into the world Yet after telling it she felt much better and a little bitter and made as near an approach to character as she was capable of by walking in another direction and meeting another man with the honest intention of gratifying herself again As a rule things happened to Dot She was not weak because there was nothing in her to tell her she was being weak She was not strong because she never knew that some of the things she did were brave She neither defied nor conformed nor compromised
She had no sense of humor but to take its place a happy disposition that made her laugh at the proper times when she was with men She had no definite intentions—sometimes she regretted vaguely that her reputation precluded what chance she had ever had for security There had been no open discovery her mother was interested only in starting her off on time each morning for the jewelry store where she earned fourteen dollars a week But some of the boys she had known in high school now looked the other way when they were walking with nice girls and these incidents hurt her feelings When they occurred she went home and cried
Besides the Jackson Street clerk there had been two other men of whom the first was a naval officer who passed through town during the early days of the war He had stayed over a night to make a connection and was leaning idly against one of the pillars of the Stonewall Hotel when she passed by He remained in town four days She thought she loved him—lavished on him that first hysteria of passion that would have gone to the pusillanimous clerk The naval officers uniform—there were few of them in those days—had made the magic He left with vague promises on his lips and once on the train rejoiced that he had not told her his real name
Her resultant depression had thrown her into the arms of Cyrus Fielding the son of a local clothier who had hailed her from his roadster one day as she passed along the sidewalk She had always known him by name Had she been born to a higher stratum he would have known her before She had descended a little lower—so he met her after all After a month he had gone away to trainingcamp a little afraid of the intimacy a little relieved in perceiving that she had not cared deeply for him and that she was not the sort who would ever make trouble Dot romanticized this affair and conceded to her vanity that the war had taken these men away from her She told herself that she could have married the naval officer Nevertheless it worried her that within eight months there had been three men in her life She thought with more fear than wonder in her heart that she would soon be like those bad girls on Jackson Street at whom she and her gumchewing giggling friends had stared with fascinated glances three years before
For a while she attempted to be more careful She let men pick her up she let them kiss her and even allowed certain other liberties to be forced upon her but she did not add to her trio After several months the strength of her resolution—or rather the poignant expediency of her fears—was worn away She grew restless drowsing there out of life and time while the summer months faded The soldiers she met were either obviously below her or less obviously above her—in which case they desired only to use her they were Yankees harsh and ungracious they swarmed in large crowds… And then she met Anthony
On that first evening he had been little more than a pleasantly unhappy face a voice the means with which to pass an hour but when she kept her engagement with him on Saturday she regarded him with consideration She liked him Unknowingly she saw her own tragedies mirrored in his face
Again they went to the movies again they wandered along the shadowy scented streets hand in hand this time speaking a little in hushed voices They passed through the gate—up toward the little porch—
I can stay a while cant I
Sh she whispered weve got to be very quiet Mother sits up reading Snappy Stories In confirmation he heard the faint crackling inside as a page was turned The openshutter slits emitted horizontal rods of light that fell in thin parallels across Dorothys skirt The street was silent save for a group on the steps of a house across the way who from time to time raised their voices in a soft bantering song
—When you waake You shall haave All the pretty little hawsiz—
Then as though it had been waiting on a nearby roof for their arrival the moon came slanting suddenly through the vines and turned the girls face to the color of white roses
Anthony had a start of memory so vivid that before his closed eyes there formed a picture distinct as a flashback on a screen—a spring night of thaw set out of time in a halfforgotten winter five years before—another face radiant flowerlike upturned to lights as transforming as the stars—
Ah la belle dame sans merci who lived in his heart made known to him in transitory fading splendor by dark eyes in the RitzCarlton by a shadowy glance from a passing carriage in the Bois de Boulogne But those nights were only part of a song a remembered glory—here again were the faint winds the illusions the eternal present with its promise of romance
Oh she whispered do you love me Do you love me
The spell was broken—the drifted fragments of the stars became only light the singing down the street diminished to a monotone to the whimper of locusts in the grass With almost a sigh he kissed her fervent mouth while her arms crept up about his shoulders
THE MANATARMS
As the weeks dried up and blew away the range of Anthonys travels extended until he grew to comprehend the camp and its environment For the first time in his life he was in constant personal contact with the waiters to whom he had given tips the chauffeurs who had touched their hats to him the carpenters plumbers barbers and farmers who had previously been remarkable only in the subservience of their professional genuflections During his first two months in camp he did not hold ten minutes consecutive conversation with a single man
On the service record his occupation stood as student on the original questionnaire he had prematurely written author but when men in his company asked his business he commonly gave it as bank clerk—had he told the truth that he did no work they would have been suspicious of him as a member of the leisure class
His platoon sergeant Pop Donnelly was a scraggly old soldier worn thin with drink In the past he had spent unnumbered weeks in the guardhouse but recently thanks to the drillmaster famine he had been elevated to his present pinnacle His complexion was full of shellholes—it bore an unmistakable resemblance to those aerial photographs of the battlefield at Blank Once a week he got drunk downtown on white liquor returned quietly to camp and collapsed upon his bunk joining the company at reveille looking more than ever like a white mask of death
He nursed the astounding delusion that he was astutely slipping it over on the government—he had spent eighteen years in its service at a minute wage and he was soon to retire here he usually winked on the impressive income of fiftyfive dollars a month He looked upon it as a gorgeous joke that he had played upon the dozens who had bullied and scorned him since he was a Georgia country boy of nineteen
At present there were but two lieutenants—Hopkins and the popular Kretching The latter was considered a good fellow and a fine leader until a year later when he disappeared with a mess fund of eleven hundred dollars and like so many leaders proved exceedingly difficult to follow
Eventually there was Captain Dunning god of this brief but selfsufficing microcosm He was a reserve officer nervous energetic and enthusiastic This latter quality indeed often took material form and was visible as fine froth in the corners of his mouth Like most executives he saw his charges strictly from the front and to his hopeful eyes his command seemed just such an excellent unit as such an excellent war deserved For all his anxiety and absorption he was having the time of his life
Baptiste the little Sicilian of the train fell foul of him the second week of drill The captain had several times ordered the men to be cleanshaven when they fell in each morning One day there was disclosed an alarming breech of this rule surely a case of Teutonic connivance—during the night four men had grown hair upon their faces The fact that three of the four understood a minimum of English made a practical objectlesson only the more necessary so Captain Dunning resolutely sent a volunteer barber back to the company street for a razor Whereupon for the safety of democracy a halfounce of hair was scraped dry from the cheeks of three Italians and one Pole
Outside the world of the company there appeared from time to time the colonel a heavy man with snarling teeth who circumnavigated the battalion drillfield upon a handsome black horse He was a West Pointer and mimetically a gentleman He had a dowdy wife and a dowdy mind and spent much of his time in town taking advantage of the armys lately exalted social position Last of all was the general who traversed the roads of the camp preceded by his flag—a figure so austere so removed so magnificent as to be scarcely comprehensible
December Cool winds at night now and damp chilly mornings on the drillgrounds As the heat faded Anthony found himself increasingly glad to be alive Renewed strangely through his body he worried little and existed in the present with a sort of animal content It was not that Gloria or the life that Gloria represented was less often in his thoughts—it was simply that she became day by day less real less vivid For a week they had corresponded passionately almost hysterically—then by an unwritten agreement they had ceased to write more than twice and then once a week She was bored she said if his brigade was to be there a long time she was coming down to join him Mr Haight was going to be able to submit a stronger brief than he had expected but doubted that the appealed case would come up until late spring Muriel was in the city doing Red Cross work and they went out together rather often What would Anthony think if she went into the Red Cross Trouble was she had heard that she might have to bathe negroes in alcohol and after that she hadnt felt so patriotic The city was full of soldiers and shed seen a lot of boys she hadnt laid eyes on for years…
Anthony did not want her to come South He told himself that this was for many reasons—he needed a rest from her and she from him She would be bored beyond measure in town and she would be able to see Anthony for only a few hours each day But in his heart he feared that it was because he was attracted to Dorothy As a matter of fact he lived in terror that Gloria should learn by some chance or intention of the relation he had formed By the end of a fortnight the entanglement began to give him moments of misery at his own faithlessness Nevertheless as each day ended he was unable to withstand the lure that would draw him irresistibly out of his tent and over to the telephone at the YMCA
Dot
Yes
I may be able to get in tonight
Im so glad
Do you want to listen to my splendid eloquence for a few starry hours
Oh you funny— For an instant he had a memory of five years before—of Geraldine Then—
Ill arrive about eight
At seven he would be in a jitney bound for the city where hundreds of little Southern girls were waiting on moonlit porches for their lovers He would be excited already for her warm retarded kisses for the amazed quietude of the glances she gave him—glances nearer to worship than any he had ever inspired Gloria and he had been equals giving without thought of thanks or obligation To this girl his very caresses were an inestimable boon Crying quietly she had confessed to him that he was not the first man in her life there had been one other—he gathered that the affair had no sooner commenced than it had been over
Indeed so far as she was concerned she spoke the truth She had forgotten the clerk the naval officer the clothiers son forgotten her vividness of emotion which is true forgetting She knew that in some opaque and shadowy existence some one had taken her—it was as though it had occurred in sleep
Almost every night Anthony came to town It was too cool now for the porch so her mother surrendered to them the tiny sitting room with its dozens of cheaply framed chromos its yard upon yard of decorative fringe and its thick atmosphere of several decades in the proximity of the kitchen They would build a fire—then happily inexhaustibly she would go about the business of love Each evening at ten she would walk with him to the door her black hair in disarray her face pale without cosmetics paler still under the whiteness of the moon As a rule it would be bright and silver outside now and then there was a slow warm rain too indolent almost to reach the ground
Say you love me she would whisper
Why of course you sweet baby
Am I a baby This almost wistfully
Just a little baby
She knew vaguely of Gloria It gave her pain to think of it so she imagined her to be haughty and proud and cold She had decided that Gloria must be older than Anthony and that there was no love between husband and wife Sometimes she let herself dream that after the war Anthony would get a divorce and they would be married—but she never mentioned this to Anthony she scarcely knew why She shared his companys idea that he was a sort of bank clerk—she thought that he was respectable and poor She would say
If I had some money darlin Id give evy bit of it to you… Id like to have about fifty thousand dollars
I suppose thatd be plenty agreed Anthony
—In her letter that day Gloria had written I suppose if we could settle for a million it would be better to tell Mr Haight to go ahead and settle But itd seem a pity…
… We could have an automobile exclaimed Dot in a final burst of triumph
AN IMPRESSIVE OCCASION
Captain Dunning prided himself on being a great reader of character Half an hour after meeting a man he was accustomed to place him in one of a number of astonishing categories—fine man good man smart fellow theorizer poet and worthless One day early in February he caused Anthony to be summoned to his presence in the orderly tent
Patch he said sententiously Ive had my eye on you for several weeks
Anthony stood erect and motionless
And I think youve got the makings of a good soldier
He waited for the warm glow which this would naturally arouse to cool—and then continued
This is no childs play he said narrowing his brows
Anthony agreed with a melancholy No sir
Its a mans game—and we need leaders Then the climax swift sure and electric Patch Im going to make you a corporal
At this point Anthony should have staggered slightly backward overwhelmed He was to be one of the quarter million selected for that consummate trust He was going to be able to shout the technical phrase Follow me to seven other frightened men
You seem to be a man of some education said Captain Dunning
Yes Sir
Thats good thats good Educations a great thing but dont let it go to your head Keep on the way youre doing and youll be a good soldier
With these parting words lingering in his ears Corporal Patch saluted executed a right about face and left the tent
Though the conversation amused Anthony it did generate the idea that life would be more amusing as a sergeant or should he find a less exacting medical examiner as an officer He was little interested in the work which seemed to belie the armys boasted gallantry At the inspections one did not dress up to look well one dressed up to keep from looking badly
But as winter wore away—the short snowless winter marked by damp nights and cool rainy days—he marvelled at how quickly the system had grasped him He was a soldier—all who were not soldiers were civilians The world was divided primarily into those two classifications
It occurred to him that all strongly accentuated classes such as the military divided men into two kinds their own kind—and those without To the clergyman there were clergy and laity to the Catholic there were Catholics and nonCatholics to the negro there were blacks and whites to the prisoner there were the imprisoned and the free and to the sick man there were the sick and the well… So without thinking of it once in his lifetime he had been a civilian a layman a nonCatholic a Gentile white free and well…
As the American troops were poured into the French and British trenches he began to find the names of many Harvard men among the casualties recorded in the Army and Navy Journal But for all the sweat and blood the situation appeared unchanged and he saw no prospect of the wars ending in the perceptible future In the old chronicles the right wing of one army always defeated the left wing of the other the left wing being meanwhile vanquished by the enemys right After that the mercenaries fled It had been so simple in those days almost as if prearranged…
Gloria wrote that she was reading a great deal What a mess they had made of their affairs she said She had so little to do now that she spent her time imagining how differently things might have turned out Her whole environment appeared insecure—and a few years back she had seemed to hold all the strings in her own little hand…
In June her letters grew hurried and less frequent She suddenly ceased to write about coming South
DEFEAT
March in the country around was rare with jasmine and jonquils and patches of violets in the warming grass Afterward he remembered especially one afternoon of such a fresh and magic glamour that as he stood in the riflepit marking targets he recited Atalanta in Calydon to an uncomprehending Pole his voice mingling with the rip sing and splatter of the bullets overhead
When the hounds of spring …
Spang
Are on winters traces …
Whirrrrr …
The mother of months …
Hey Come to Mark threeee …
In town the streets were in a sleepy dream again and together Anthony and Dot idled in their own tracks of the previous autumn until he began to feel a drowsy attachment for this South—a South it seemed more of Algiers than of Italy with faded aspirations pointing back over innumerable generations to some warm primitive Nirvana without hope or care Here there was an inflection of cordiality of comprehension in every voice Life plays the same lovely and agonizing joke on all of us they seemed to say in their plaintive pleasant cadence in the rising inflection terminating on an unresolved minor
He liked his barber shop where he was Hi corporal to a pale emaciated young man who shaved him and pushed a cool vibrating machine endlessly over his insatiable head He liked Johnstons Gardens where they danced where a tragic negro made yearning aching music on a saxophone until the garish hall became an enchanted jungle of barbaric rhythms and smoky laughter where to forget the uneventful passage of time upon Dorothys soft sighs and tender whisperings was the consummation of all aspiration of all content
There was an undertone of sadness in her character a conscious evasion of all except the pleasurable minutiae of life Her violet eyes would remain for hours apparently insensate as thoughtless and reckless she basked like a cat in the sun He wondered what the tired spiritless mother thought of them and whether in her moments of uttermost cynicism she ever guessed at their relationship
On Sunday afternoons they walked along the countryside resting at intervals on the dry moss in the outskirts of a wood Here the birds had gathered and the clusters of violets and white dogwood here the hoar trees shone crystalline and cool oblivious to the intoxicating heat that waited outside here he would talk intermittently in a sleepy monologue in a conversation of no significance of no replies
July came scorching down Captain Dunning was ordered to detail one of his men to learn blacksmithing The regiment was filling up to war strength and he needed most of his veterans for drillmasters so he selected the little Italian Baptiste whom he could most easily spare Little Baptiste had never had anything to do with horses His fear made matters worse He reappeared in the orderly room one day and told Captain Dunning that he wanted to die if he couldnt be relieved The horses kicked at him he said he was no good at the work Finally he fell on his knees and besought Captain Dunning in a mixture of broken English and scriptural Italian to get him out of it He had not slept for three days monstrous stallions reared and cavorted through his dreams
Captain Dunning reproved the company clerk who had burst out laughing and told Baptiste he would do what he could But when he thought it over he decided that he couldnt spare a better man Little Baptiste went from bad to worse The horses seemed to divine his fear and take every advantage of it Two weeks later a great black mare crushed his skull in with her hoofs while he was trying to lead her from her stall
In midJuly came rumors and then orders that concerned a change of camp The brigade was to move to an empty cantonment a hundred miles farther south there to be expanded into a division At first the men thought they were departing for the trenches and all evening little groups jabbered in the company street shouting to each other in swaggering exclamations Suuure we are When the truth leaked out it was rejected indignantly as a blind to conceal their real destination They revelled in their own importance That night they told their girls in town that they were going to get the Germans Anthony circulated for a while among the groups—then stopping a jitney rode down to tell Dot that he was going away
She was waiting on the dark veranda in a cheap white dress that accentuated the youth and softness of her face
Oh she whispered Ive wanted you so honey All this day
I have something to tell you
She drew him down beside her on the swinging seat not noticing his ominous tone
Tell me
Were leaving next week
Her arms seeking his shoulders remained poised upon the dark air her chin tipped up When she spoke the softness was gone from her voice
Leaving for France
No Less luck than that Leaving for some darn camp in Mississippi
She shut her eyes and he could see that the lids were trembling
Dear little Dot life is so damned hard
She was crying upon his shoulder
So damned hard so damned hard he repeated aimlessly it just hurts people and hurts people until finally it hurts them so that they cant be hurt ever any more Thats the last and worst thing it does
Frantic wild with anguish she strained him to her breast
Oh God she whispered brokenly you cant go way from me Id die
He was finding it impossible to pass off his departure as a common impersonal blow He was too near to her to do more than repeat Poor little Dot Poor little Dot
And then what she demanded wearily
What do you mean
Youre my whole life thats all Id die for you right now if you said so Id get a knife and kill myself You cant leave me here
Her tone frightened him
These things happen he said evenly
Then Im going with you Tears were streaming down her checks Her mouth was trembling in an ecstasy of grief and fear
Sweet he muttered sentimentally sweet little girl Dont you see wed just be putting off whats bound to happen Ill be going to France in a few months—
She leaned away from him and clinching her fists lifted her face toward the sky
I want to die she said as if moulding each word carefully in her heart
Dot he whispered uncomfortably youll forget Things are sweeter when theyre lost I know—because once I wanted something and got it It was the only thing I ever wanted badly Dot And when I got it it turned to dust in my hands
All right
Absorbed in himself he continued
Ive often thought that if I hadnt got what I wanted things might have been different with me I might have found something in my mind and enjoyed putting it in circulation I might have been content with the work of it and had some sweet vanity out of the success I suppose that at one time I could have had anything I wanted within reason but that was the only thing I ever wanted with any fervor God And that taught me you cant have _any_thing you cant have anything at all Because desire just cheats you Its like a sunbeam skipping here and there about a room It stops and gilds some inconsequential object and we poor fools try to grasp it—but when we do the sunbeam moves on to something else and youve got the inconsequential part but the glitter that made you want it is gone— He broke off uneasily She had risen and was standing dryeyed picking little leaves from a dark vine
Dot—
Go way she said coldly What Why
I dont want just words If thats all you have for me youd better go
Why Dot—
Whats death to me is just a lot of words to you You put em together so pretty
Im sorry I was talking about you Dot
Go way from here
He approached her with arms outstretched but she held him away
You dont want me to go with you she said evenly maybe youre going to meet that—that girl— She could not bring herself to say wife How do I know Well then I reckon youre not my fellow any more So go way
For a moment while conflicting warnings and desires prompted Anthony it seemed one of those rare times when he would take a step prompted from within He hesitated Then a wave of weariness broke against him It was too late—everything was too late For years now he had dreamed the world away basing his decisions upon emotions unstable as water The little girl in the white dress dominated him as she approached beauty in the hard symmetry of her desire The fire blazing in her dark and injured heart seemed to glow around her like a flame With some profound and uncharted pride she had made herself remote and so achieved her purpose
I didnt—mean to seem so callous Dot
It dont matter
The fire rolled over Anthony Something wrenched at his bowels and he stood there helpless and beaten
Come with me Dot—little loving Dot Oh come with me I couldnt leave you now—
With a sob she wound her arms around him and let him support her weight while the moon at its perennial labor of covering the bad complexion of the world showered its illicit honey over the drowsy street
THE CATASTROPHE
Early September in Camp Boone Mississippi The darkness alive with insects beat in upon the mosquitonetting beneath the shelter of which Anthony was trying to write a letter An intermittent chatter over a poker game was going on in the next tent and outside a man was strolling up the company street singing a current bit of doggerel about KKKKaty
With an effort Anthony hoisted himself to his elbow and pencil in hand looked down at his blank sheet of paper Then omitting any heading he began
I cant imagine what the matter is Gloria I havent had a line from you for two weeks and its only natural to be worried—
He threw this away with a disturbed grunt and began again
I dont know what to think Gloria Your last letter short cold without a word of affection or even a decent account of what youve been doing came two weeks ago Its only natural that I should wonder If your love for me isnt absolutely dead it seems that youd at least keep me from worry—
Again he crumpled the page and tossed it angrily through a tear in the tent wall realizing simultaneously that he would have to pick it up in the morning He felt disinclined to try again He could get no warmth into the lines—only a persistent jealousy and suspicion Since midsummer these discrepancies in Glorias correspondence had grown more and more noticeable At first he had scarcely perceived them He was so inured to the perfunctory dearest and darlings scattered through her letters that he was oblivious to their presence or absence But in this last fortnight he had become increasingly aware that there was something amiss
He had sent her a nightletter saying that he had passed his examinations for an officers trainingcamp and expected to leave for Georgia shortly She had not answered He had wired again—when he received no word he imagined that she might be out of town But it occurred and recurred to him that she was not out of town and a series of distraught imaginings began to plague him Supposing Gloria bored and restless had found some one even as he had The thought terrified him with its possibility—it was chiefly because he had been so sure of her personal integrity that he had considered her so sparingly during the year And now as a doubt was born the old angers the rages of possession swarmed back a thousandfold What more natural than that she should be in love again
He remembered the Gloria who promised that should she ever want anything she would take it insisting that since she would act entirely for her own satisfaction she could go through such an affair unsmirched—it was only the effect on a persons mind that counted anyhow she said and her reaction would be the masculine one of satiation and faint dislike
But that had been when they were first married Later with the discovery that she could be jealous of Anthony she had outwardly at least changed her mind There were no other men in the world for her This he had known only too surely Perceiving that a certain fastidiousness would restrain her he had grown lax in preserving the completeness of her love—which after all was the keystone of the entire structure
Meanwhile all through the summer he had been maintaining Dot in a boardinghouse downtown To do this it had been necessary to write to his broker for money Dot had covered her journey south by leaving her house a day before the brigade broke camp informing her mother in a note that she had gone to New York On the evening following Anthony had called as though to see her Mrs Raycroft was in a state of collapse and there was a policeman in the parlor A questionnaire had ensued from which Anthony had extricated himself with some difficulty
In September with his suspicions of Gloria the company of Dot had become tedious then almost intolerable He was nervous and irritable from lack of sleep his heart was sick and afraid Three days ago he had gone to Captain Dunning and asked for a furlough only to be met with benignant procrastination The division was starting overseas while Anthony was going to an officers trainingcamp what furloughs could be given must go to the men who were leaving the country
Upon this refusal Anthony had started to the telegraph office intending to wire Gloria to come South—he reached the door and receded despairingly seeing the utter impracticability of such a move Then he had spent the evening quarrelling irritably with Dot and returned to camp morose and angry with the world There had been a disagreeable scene in the midst of which he had precipitately departed What was to be done with her did not seem to concern him vitally at present—he was completely absorbed in the disheartening silence of his wife…
The flap of the tent made a sudden triangle back upon itself and a dark head appeared against the night
Sergeant Patch The accent was Italian and Anthony saw by the belt that the man was a headquarters orderly
Want me
Lady call up headquarters ten minutes ago Say she have speak with you
Ver important
Anthony swept aside the mosquitonetting and stood up It might be a wire from Gloria telephoned over
She say to get you She call again ten oclock
All right thanks He picked up his hat and in a moment was striding beside the orderly through the hot almost suffocating darkness Over in the headquarters shack he saluted a dozing nightservice officer
Sit down and wait suggested the lieutenant nonchalantly Girl seemed awful anxious to speak to you
Anthonys hopes fell away
Thank you very much sir And as the phone squeaked on the sidewall he knew who was calling
This is Dot came an unsteady voice Ive got to see you
Dot I told you I couldnt get down for several days
Ive got to see you tonight Its important
Its too late he said coldly its ten oclock and I have to be in camp at eleven
All right There was so much wretchedness compressed into the two words that Anthony felt a measure of compunction
Whats the matter
I want to tell you goodby
Oh dont be a little idiot he exclaimed But his spirits rose What luck if she should leave town this very night What a burden from his soul But he said You cant possibly leave before tomorrow
Out of the corner of his eye he saw the nightservice officer regarding him quizzically Then startlingly came Dots next words
I dont mean leave that way
Anthonys hand clutched the receiver fiercely He felt his nerves turning cold as if the heat was leaving his body
What
Then quickly in a wild broken voice he heard
Goodby—oh goodby
Cullup She had hung up the receiver With a sound that was half a gasp half a cry Anthony hurried from the headquarters building Outside under the stars that dripped like silver tassels through the trees of the little grove he stood motionless hesitating Had she meant to kill herself—oh the little fool He was filled with bitter hate toward her In this dénouement he found it impossible to realize that he had ever begun such an entanglement such a mess a sordid mélange of worry and pain
He found himself walking slowly away repeating over and over that it was futile to worry He had best go back to his tent and sleep He needed sleep God Would he ever sleep again His mind was in a vast clamor and confusion as he reached the road he turned around in a panic and began running not toward his company but away from it Men were returning now—he could find a taxicab After a minute two yellow eyes appeared around a bend Desperately he ran toward them
Jitney Jitney … It was an empty Ford… I want to go to town
Cost you a dollar
All right If youll just hurry—
After an interminable time he ran up the steps of a dark ramshackle little house and through the door almost knocking over an immense negress who was walking candle in hand along the hall
Wheres my wife he cried wildly
She gone to bed
Up the stairs three at a time down the creaking passage The room was dark and silent and with trembling fingers he struck a match Two wide eyes looked up at him from a wretched ball of clothes on the bed
Ah I knew youd come she murmured brokenly
Anthony grew cold with anger
So it was just a plan to get me down here get me in trouble he said
God damn it youve shouted wolf once too often
She regarded him pitifully
I had to see you I couldnt have lived Oh I had to see you—
He sat down on the side of the bed and slowly shook his head
Youre no good he said decisively talking unconsciously as Gloria might have talked to him This sort of thing isnt fair to me you know
Come closer Whatever he might say Dot was happy now He cared for her She had brought him to her side
Oh God said Anthony hopelessly As weariness rolled along its inevitable wave his anger subsided receded vanished He collapsed suddenly fell sobbing beside her on the bed
Oh my darling she begged him dont cry Oh dont cry
She took his head upon her breast and soothed him mingled her happy tears with the bitterness of his Her hand played gently with his dark hair
Im such a little fool she murmured brokenly but I love you and when youre cold to me it seems as if it isnt worth while to go on livin
After all this was peace—the quiet room with the mingled scent of womens powder and perfume Dots hand soft as a warm wind upon his hair the rise and fall of her bosom as she took breath—for a moment it was as though it were Gloria there as though he were at rest in some sweeter and safer home than he had ever known
An hour passed A clock began to chime in the hall He jumped to his feet and looked at the phosphorescent hands of his wrist watch It was twelve oclock
He had trouble in finding a taxi that would take him out at that hour As he urged the driver faster along the road he speculated on the best method of entering camp He had been late several times recently and he knew that were he caught again his name would probably be stricken from the list of officer candidates He wondered if he had not better dismiss the taxi and take a chance on passing the sentry in the dark Still officers often rode past the sentries after midnight…
Halt The monosyllable came from the yellow glare that the headlights dropped upon the changing road The taxidriver threw out his clutch and a sentry walked up carrying his rifle at the port With him by an ill chance was the officer of the guard
Out late sergeant
Yes sir Got delayed
Too bad Have to take your name
As the officer waited notebook and pencil in hand something not fully intended crowded to Anthonys lips something born of panic of muddle of despair
Sergeant RA Foley he answered breathlessly
And the outfit
Company Q Eightythird Infantry
All right Youll have to walk from here sergeant
Anthony saluted quickly paid his taxidriver and set off for a run toward the regiment he had named When he was out of sight he changed his course and with his heart beating wildly hurried to his company feeling that he had made a fatal error of judgment
Two days later the officer who had been in command of the guard recognized him in a barber shop downtown In charge of a military policeman he was taken back to the camp where he was reduced to the ranks without trial and confined for a month to the limits of his company street
With this blow a spell of utter depression overtook him and within a week he was again caught downtown wandering around in a drunken daze with a pint of bootleg whiskey in his hip pocket It was because of a sort of craziness in his behavior at the trial that his sentence to the guardhouse was for only three weeks
NIGHTMARE
Early in his confinement the conviction took root in him that he was going mad It was as though there were a quantity of dark yet vivid personalities in his mind some of them familiar some of them strange and terrible held in check by a little monitor who sat aloft somewhere and looked on The thing that worried him was that the monitor was sick and holding out with difficulty Should he give up should he falter for a moment out would rush these intolerable things—only Anthony could know what a state of blackness there would be if the worst of him could roam his consciousness unchecked
The heat of the day had changed somehow until it was a burnished darkness crushing down upon a devastated land Over his head the blue circles of ominous uncharted suns of unnumbered centres of fire revolved interminably before his eyes as though he were lying constantly exposed to the hot light and in a state of feverish coma At seven in the morning something phantasmal something almost absurdly unreal that he knew was his mortal body went out with seven other prisoners and two guards to work on the camp roads One day they loaded and unloaded quantities of gravel spread it raked it—the next day they worked with huge barrels of redhot tar flooding the gravel with black shining pools of molten heat At night locked up in the guardhouse he would lie without thought without courage to compass thought staring at the irregular beams of the ceiling overhead until about three oclock when he would slip into a broken troubled sleep
During the work hours he labored with uneasy haste attempting as the day bore toward the sultry Mississippi sunset to tire himself physically so that in the evening he might sleep deeply from utter exhaustion… Then one afternoon in the second week he had a feeling that two eyes were watching him from a place a few feet beyond one of the guards This aroused him to a sort of terror He turned his back on the eyes and shovelled feverishly until it became necessary for him to face about and go for more gravel Then they entered his vision again and his already taut nerves tightened up to the breakingpoint The eyes were leering at him Out of a hot silence he heard his name called in a tragic voice and the earth tipped absurdly back and forth to a babel of shouting and confusion
When next he became conscious he was back in the guardhouse and the other prisoners were throwing him curious glances The eyes returned no more It was many days before he realized that the voice must have been Dots that she had called out to him and made some sort of disturbance He decided this just previous to the expiration of his sentence when the cloud that oppressed him had lifted leaving him in a deep dispirited lethargy As the conscious mediator the monitor who kept that fearsome ménage of horror grew stronger Anthony became physically weaker He was scarcely able to get through the two days of toil and when he was released one rainy afternoon and returned to his company he reached his tent only to fall into a heavy doze from which he awoke before dawn aching and unrefreshed Beside his cot were two letters that had been awaiting him in the orderly tent for some time The first was from Gloria it was short and cool
The case is coming to trial late in November Can you possibly get leave
Ive tried to write you again and again but it just seems to make things worse I want to see you about several matters but you know that you have once prevented me from coming and I am disinclined to try again In view of a number of things it seems necessary that we have a conference Im very glad about your appointment
GLORIA
He was too tired to try to understand—or to care Her phrases her intentions were all very far away in an incomprehensible past At the second letter he scarcely glanced it was from Dot—an incoherent tearswollen scrawl a flood of protest endearment and grief After a page he let it slip from his inert hand and drowsed back into a nebulous hinterland of his own At drillcall he awoke with a high fever and fainted when he tried to leave his tent—at noon he was sent to the base hospital with influenza
He was aware that this sickness was providential It saved him from a hysterical relapse—and he recovered in time to entrain on a damp November day for New York and for the interminable massacre beyond
When the regiment reached Camp Mills Long Island Anthonys single idea was to get into the city and see Gloria as soon as possible It was now evident that an armistice would be signed within the week but rumor had it that in any case troops would continue to be shipped to France until the last moment Anthony was appalled at the notion of the long voyage of a tedious debarkation at a French port and of being kept abroad for a year possibly to replace the troops who had seen actual fighting
His intention had been to obtain a twoday furlough but Camp Mills proved to be under a strict influenza quarantine—it was impossible for even an officer to leave except on official business For a private it was out of the question
The camp itself was a dreary muddle cold windswept and filthy with the accumulated dirt incident to the passage through of many divisions Their train came in at seven one night and they waited in line until one while a military tangle was straightened out somewhere ahead Officers ran up and down ceaselessly calling orders and making a great uproar It turned out that the trouble was due to the colonel who was in a righteous temper because he was a West Pointer and the war was going to stop before he could get overseas Had the militant governments realized the number of broken hearts among the older West Pointers during that week they would indubitably have prolonged the slaughter another month The thing was pitiable
Gazing out at the bleak expanse of tents extending for miles over a trodden welter of slush and snow Anthony saw the impracticability of trudging to a telephone that night He would call her at the first opportunity in the morning
Aroused in the chill and bitter dawn he stood at reveille and listened to a passionate harangue from Captain Dunning
You men may think the war is over Well let me tell you it isnt Those fellows arent going to sign the armistice Its another trick and wed be crazy to let anything slacken up here in the company because let me tell you were going to sail from here within a week and when we do were going to see some real fighting He paused that they might get the full effect of his pronouncement And then If you think the wars over just talk to any one whos been in it and see if they think the Germans are all in They dont Nobody does Ive talked to the people that know and they say therell be anyways a year longer of war They dont think its over So you men better not get any foolish ideas that it is
Doubly stressing this final admonition he ordered the company dismissed
At noon Anthony set off at a run for the nearest canteen telephone As he approached what corresponded to the downtown of the camp he noticed that many other soldiers were running also that a man near him had suddenly leaped into the air and clicked his heels together The tendency to run became general and from little excited groups here and there came the sounds of cheering He stopped and listened—over the cold country whistles were blowing and the chimes of the Garden City churches broke suddenly into reverberatory sound
Anthony began to run again The cries were clear and distinct now as they rose with clouds of frosted breath into the chilly air
Germanys surrendered Germanys surrendered
THE FALSE ARMISTICE
That evening in the opaque gloom of six oclock Anthony slipped between two freightcars and once over the railroad followed the track along to Garden City where he caught an electric train for New York He stood some chance of apprehension—he knew that the military police were often sent through the cars to ask for passes but he imagined that tonight the vigilance would be relaxed But in any event he would have tried to slip through for he had been unable to locate Gloria by telephone and another day of suspense would have been intolerable
After inexplicable stops and waits that reminded him of the night he had left New York over a year before they drew into the Pennsylvania Station and he followed the familiar way to the taxistand finding it grotesque and oddly stimulating to give his own address
Broadway was a riot of light thronged as he had never seen it with a carnival crowd which swept its glittering way through scraps of paper piled ankledeep on the sidewalks Here and there elevated upon benches and boxes soldiers addressed the heedless mass each face in which was clear cut and distinct under the white glare overhead Anthony picked out half a dozen figures—a drunken sailor tipped backward and supported by two other gobs was waving his hat and emitting a wild series of roars a wounded soldier crutch in hand was borne along in an eddy on the shoulders of some shrieking civilians a darkhaired girl sat crosslegged and meditative on top of a parked taxicab Here surely the victory had come in time the climax had been scheduled with the uttermost celestial foresight The great rich nation had made triumphant war suffered enough for poignancy but not enough for bitterness—hence the carnival the feasting the triumph Under these bright lights glittered the faces of peoples whose glory had long since passed away whose very civilizations were deadmen whose ancestors had heard the news of victory in Babylon in Nineveh in Bagdad in Tyre a hundred generations before men whose ancestors had seen a flowerdecked slaveadorned cortege drift with its wake of captives down the avenues of Imperial Rome…
Past the Rialto the glittering front of the Astor the jewelled magnificence of Times Square … a gorgeous alley of incandescence ahead… Then—was it years later—he was paying the taxidriver in front of a white building on Fiftyseventh Street He was in the hall—ah there was the negro boy from Martinique lazy indolent unchanged
Is Mrs Patch in
I have just came on sah the man announced with his incongruous
British accent
Take me up—
Then the slow drone of the elevator the three steps to the door which swung open at the impetus of his knock
Gloria His voice was trembling No answer A faint string of smoke was rising from a cigarettetray—a number of Vanity Fair sat astraddle on the table
Gloria
He ran into the bedroom the bath She was not there A negligée of robinsegg blue laid out upon the bed diffused a faint perfume illusive and familiar On a chair were a pair of stockings and a street dress an open powder box yawned upon the bureau She must just have gone out
The telephone rang abruptly and he started—answered it with all the sensations of an impostor
Hello Is Mrs Patch there
No Im looking for her myself Who is this
This is Mr Crawford
This is Mr Patch speaking Ive just arrived unexpectedly and I dont know where to find her
Oh Mr Crawford sounded a bit taken aback Why I imagine shes at the Armistice Ball I know she intended going but I didnt think shed leave so early
Wheres the Armistice Ball
At the Astor
Thanks
Anthony hung up sharply and rose Who was Mr Crawford And who was it that was taking her to the ball How long had this been going on All these questions asked and answered themselves a dozen times a dozen ways His very proximity to her drove him half frantic
In a frenzy of suspicion he rushed here and there about the apartment hunting for some sign of masculine occupation opening the bathroom cupboard searching feverishly through the bureau drawers Then he found something that made him stop suddenly and sit down on one of the twin beds the corners of his mouth drooping as though he were about to weep There in a corner of her drawer tied with a frail blue ribbon were all the letters and telegrams he had written her during the year past He was suffused with happy and sentimental shame
Im not fit to touch her he cried aloud to the four walls Im not fit to touch her little hand
Nevertheless he went out to look for her
In the Astor lobby he was engulfed immediately in a crowd so thick as to make progress almost impossible He asked the direction of the ballroom from half a dozen people before he could get a sober and intelligible answer Eventually after a last long wait he checked his military overcoat in the hall
It was only nine but the dance was in full blast The panorama was incredible Women women everywhere—girls gay with wine singing shrilly above the clamor of the dazzling confetticovered throng girls set off by the uniforms of a dozen nations fat females collapsing without dignity upon the floor and retaining selfrespect by shouting Hurraw for the Allies three women with white hair dancing hand in hand around a sailor who revolved in a dizzying spin upon the floor clasping to his heart an empty bottle of champagne
Breathlessly Anthony scanned the dancers scanned the muddled lines trailing in single file in and out among the tables scanned the hornblowing kissing coughing laughing drinking parties under the great fullbosomed flags which leaned in glowing color over the pageantry and the sound
Then he saw Gloria She was sitting at a table for two directly across the room Her dress was black and above it her animated face tinted with the most glamourous rose made he thought a spot of poignant beauty on the room His heart leaped as though to a new music He jostled his way toward her and called her name just as the gray eyes looked up and found him For that instant as their bodies met and melted the world the revel the tumbling whimper of the music faded to an ecstatic monotone hushed as a song of bees
Oh my Gloria he cried
Her kiss was a cool rill flowing from her heart
CHAPTER II
A MATTER OF AESTHETICS
On the night when Anthony had left for Camp Hooker one year before all that was left of the beautiful Gloria Gilbert—her shell her young and lovely body—moved up the broad marble steps of the Grand Central Station with the rhythm of the engine beating in her ears like a dream and out onto Vanderbilt Avenue where the huge bulk of the Biltmore overhung the street and down at its low gleaming entrance sucked in the manycolored operacloaks of gorgeously dressed girls For a moment she paused by the taxistand and watched them—wondering that but a few years before she had been of their number ever setting out for a radiant Somewhere always just about to have that ultimate passionate adventure for which the girls cloaks were delicate and beautifully furred for which their cheeks were painted and their hearts higher than the transitory dome of pleasure that would engulf them coiffure cloak and all
It was growing colder and the men passing had flipped up the collars of their overcoats This change was kind to her It would have been kinder still had everything changed weather streets and people and had she been whisked away to wake in some high freshscented room alone and statuesque within and without as in her virginal and colorful past
Inside the taxicab she wept impotent tears That she had not been happy with Anthony for over a year mattered little Recently his presence had been no more than what it would awake in her of that memorable June The Anthony of late irritable weak and poor could do no less than make her irritable in turn—and bored with everything except the fact that in a highly imaginative and eloquent youth they had come together in an ecstatic revel of emotion Because of this mutually vivid memory she would have done more for Anthony than for any other human—so when she got into the taxicab she wept passionately and wanted to call his name aloud
Miserable lonesome as a forgotten child she sat in the quiet apartment and wrote him a letter full of confused sentiment
… I can almost look down the tracks and see you going but without you dearest dearest I cant see or hear or feel or think Being apart—whatever has happened or will happen to us—is like begging for mercy from a storm Anthony its like growing old I want to kiss you so—in the back of your neck where your old black hair starts Because I love you and whatever we do or say to each other or have done or have said youve got to feel how much I do how inanimate I am when youre gone I cant even hate the damnable presence of PEOPLE those people in the station who havent any right to live—I cant resent them even though theyre dirtying up our world because Im engrossed in wanting you so
If you hated me if you were covered with sores like a leper if you ran away with another woman or starved me or beat me—how absurd this sounds—Id still want you Id still love you I KNOW my darling
Its late—I have all the windows open and the air outside is just as soft as spring yet somehow much more young and frail than spring Why do they make spring a young girl why does that illusion dance and yodel its way for three months through the worlds preposterous barrenness Spring is a lean old plough horse with its ribs showing—its a pile of refuse in a field parched by the sun and the rain to an ominous cleanliness
In a few hours youll wake up my darling—and youll be miserable and disgusted with life Youll be in Delaware or Carolina or somewhere and so unimportant I dont believe theres any one alive who can contemplate themselves as an impermanent institution as a luxury or an unnecessary evil Very few of the people who accentuate the futility of life remark the futility of themselves Perhaps they think that in proclaiming the evil of living they somehow salvage their own worth from the ruin—but they dont even you and I…
… Still I can see you Theres blue haze about the trees where youll be passing too beautiful to be predominant No the fallow squares of earth will be most frequent—theyll be along beside the track like dirty coarse brown sheets drying in the sun alive mechanical abominable Nature slovenly old hag has been sleeping in them with every old farmer or negro or immigrant who happened to covet her…
So you see that now youre gone Ive written a letter all full of contempt and despair And that just means that I love you Anthony with all there is to love with in your
GLORIA
When she had addressed the letter she went to her twin bed and lay down upon it clasping Anthonys pillow in her arms as though by sheer force of emotion she could metamorphize it into his warm and living body Two oclock saw her dryeyed staring with steady persistent grief into the darkness remembering remembering unmercifully blaming herself for a hundred fancied unkindnesses making a likeness of Anthony akin to some martyred and transfigured Christ For a time she thought of him as he in his more sentimental moments probably thought of himself
At five she was still awake A mysterious grinding noise that went on every morning across the areaway told her the hour She heard an alarm clock ring and saw a light make a yellow square on an illusory blank wall opposite With the halfformed resolution of following him South immediately her sorrow grew remote and unreal and moved off from her as the dark moved westward She fell asleep
When she awoke the sight of the empty bed beside her brought a renewal of misery dispelled shortly however by the inevitable callousness of the bright morning Though she was not conscious of it there was relief in eating breakfast without Anthonys tired and worried face opposite her Now that she was alone she lost all desire to complain about the food She would change her breakfasts she thought—have a lemonade and a tomato sandwich instead of the sempiternal bacon and eggs and toast
Nevertheless at noon when she had called up several of her acquaintances including the martial Muriel and found each one engaged for lunch she gave way to a quiet pity for herself and her loneliness Curled on the bed with pencil and paper she wrote Anthony another letter
Late in the afternoon arrived a special delivery mailed from some small New Jersey town and the familiarity of the phrasing the almost audible undertone of worry and discontent were so familiar that they comforted her Who knew Perhaps army discipline would harden Anthony and accustom him to the idea of work She had immutable faith that the war would be over before he was called upon to fight and meanwhile the suit would be won and they could begin again this time on a different basis The first thing different would be that she would have a child It was unbearable that she should be so utterly alone
It was a week before she could stay in the apartment with the probability of remaining dryeyed There seemed little in the city that was amusing Muriel had been shifted to a hospital in New Jersey from which she took a metropolitan holiday only every other week and with this defection Gloria grew to realize how few were the friends she had made in all these years of New York The men she knew were in the army Men she knew—she had conceded vaguely to herself that all the men who had ever been in love with her were her friends Each one of them had at a certain considerable time professed to value her favor above anything in life But now—where were they At least two were dead half a dozen or more were married the rest scattered from France to the Philippines She wondered whether any of them thought of her and how often and in what respect Most of them must still picture the little girl of seventeen or so the adolescent siren of nine years before
The girls too were gone far afield She had never been popular in school She had been too beautiful too lazy not sufficiently conscious of being a Farmover girl and a Future Wife and Mother in perpetual capital letters And girls who had never been kissed hinted with shocked expressions on their plain but not particularly wholesome faces that Gloria had Then these girls had gone east or west or south married and become people prophesying if they prophesied about Gloria that she would come to a bad end—not knowing that no endings were bad and that they like her were by no means the mistresses of their destinies
Gloria told over to herself the people who had visited them in the gray house at Marietta It had seemed at the time that they were always having company—she had indulged in an unspoken conviction that each guest was ever afterward slightly indebted to her They owed her a sort of moral ten dollars apiece and should she ever be in need she might so to speak borrow from them this visionary currency But they were gone scattered like chaff mysteriously and subtly vanished in essence or in fact
By Christmas Glorias conviction that she should join Anthony had returned no longer as a sudden emotion but as a recurrent need She decided to write him word of her coming but postponed the announcement upon the advice of Mr Haight who expected almost weekly that the case was coming up for trial
One day early in January as she was walking on Fifth Avenue bright now with uniforms and hung with the flags of the virtuous nations she met Rachael Barnes whom she had not seen for nearly a year Even Rachael whom she had grown to dislike was a relief from ennui and together they went to the Ritz for tea
After a second cocktail they became enthusiastic They liked each other They talked about their husbands Rachael in that tone of public vainglory with private reservations in which wives are wont to speak
Rodmans abroad in the Quartermaster Corps Hes a captain He was bound he would go and he didnt think he could get into anything else
Anthonys in the Infantry The words in their relation to the cocktail gave Gloria a sort of glow With each sip she approached a warm and comforting patriotism
By the way said Rachael half an hour later as they were leaving cant you come up to dinner tomorrow night Im having two awfully sweet officers who are just going overseas I think we ought to do all we can to make it attractive for them
Gloria accepted gladly She took down the address—recognizing by its number a fashionable apartment building on Park Avenue
Its been awfully good to have seen you Rachael
Its been wonderful Ive wanted to
With these three sentences a certain night in Marietta two summers before when Anthony and Rachael had been unnecessarily attentive to each other was forgiven—Gloria forgave Rachael Rachael forgave Gloria Also it was forgiven that Rachael had been witness to the greatest disaster in the lives of Mr and Mrs Anthony Patch—
Compromising with events time moves along
THE WILES OF CAPTAIN COLLINS
The two officers were captains of the popular craft machine gunnery At dinner they referred to themselves with conscious boredom as members of the Suicide Club—in those days every recondite branch of the service referred to itself as the Suicide Club One of the captains—Rachaels captain Gloria observed—was a tall horsy man of thirty with a pleasant mustache and ugly teeth The other Captain Collins was chubby pinkfaced and inclined to laugh with abandon every time he caught Glorias eye He took an immediate fancy to her and throughout dinner showered her with inane compliments With her second glass of champagne Gloria decided that for the first time in months she was thoroughly enjoying herself
After dinner it was suggested that they all go somewhere and dance The two officers supplied themselves with bottles of liquor from Rachaels sideboard—a law forbade service to the military—and so equipped they went through innumerable fox trots in several glittering caravanseries along Broadway faithfully alternating partners—while Gloria became more and more uproarious and more and more amusing to the pinkfaced captain who seldom bothered to remove his genial smile at all
At eleven oclock to her great surprise she was in the minority for staying out The others wanted to return to Rachaels apartment—to get some more liquor they said Gloria argued persistently that Captain Collinss flask was half full—she had just seen it—then catching Rachaels eye she received an unmistakable wink She deduced confusedly that her hostess wanted to get rid of the officers and assented to being bundled into a taxicab outside
Captain Wolf sat on the left with Rachael on his knees Captain Collins sat in the middle and as he settled himself he slipped his arm about Glorias shoulder It rested there lifelessly for a moment and then tightened like a vise He leaned over her
Youre awfully pretty he whispered
Thank you kindly sir She was neither pleased nor annoyed Before Anthony came so many arms had done likewise that it had become little more than a gesture sentimental but without significance
Up in Rachaels long front room a low fire and two lamps shaded with orange silk gave all the light so that the corners were full of deep and somnolent shadows The hostess moving about in a darkfigured gown of loose chiffon seemed to accentuate the already sensuous atmosphere For a while they were all four together tasting the sandwiches that waited on the tea table—then Gloria found herself alone with Captain Collins on the fireside lounge Rachael and Captain Wolf had withdrawn to the other side of the room where they were conversing in subdued voices
I wish you werent married said Collins his face a ludicrous travesty of in all seriousness
Why She held out her glass to be filled with a highball
Dont drink any more he urged her frowning
Why not
Youd be nicer—if you didnt
Gloria caught suddenly the intended suggestion of the remark the atmosphere he was attempting to create She wanted to laugh—yet she realized that there was nothing to laugh at She had been enjoying the evening and she had no desire to go home—at the same time it hurt her pride to be flirted with on just that level
Pour me another drink she insisted
Please—
Oh dont be ridiculous she cried in exasperation
Very well He yielded with ill grace
Then his arm was about her again and again she made no protest But when his pink cheek came close she leaned away
Youre awfully sweet he said with an aimless air
She began to sing softly wishing now that he would take down his arm
Suddenly her eye fell on an intimate scene across the room—Rachael and
Captain Wolf were engrossed in a long kiss Gloria shivered
slightly—she knew not why… Pink face approached again
You shouldnt look at them he whispered Almost immediately his other arm was around her … his breath was on her cheek Again absurdity triumphed over disgust and her laugh was a weapon that needed no edge of words
Oh I thought you were a sport he was saying
Whats a sport
Why a person that likes to—to enjoy life
Is kissing you generally considered a joyful affair
They were interrupted as Rachael and Captain Wolf appeared suddenly before them
Its late Gloria said Rachael—she was flushed and her hair was dishevelled Youd better stay here all night
For an instant Gloria thought the officers were being dismissed Then she understood and understanding got to her feet as casually as she was able
Uncomprehendingly Rachael continued
You can have the room just off this one I can lend you everything you need
Collinss eyes implored her like a dogs Captain Wolfs arm had settled familiarly around Rachaels waist they were waiting
But the lure of promiscuity colorful various labyrinthine and ever a little odorous and stale had no call or promise for Gloria Had she so desired she would have remained without hesitation without regret as it was she could face coolly the six hostile and offended eyes that followed her out into the hall with forced politeness and hollow words
He wasnt even sport enough to try to take me home she thought in the taxi and then with a quick surge of resentment How utterly common
GALLANTRY
In February she had an experience of quite a different sort Tudor Baird an ancient flame a young man whom at one time she had fully intended to marry came to New York by way of the Aviation Corps and called upon her They went several times to the theatre and within a week to her great enjoyment he was as much in love with her as ever Quite deliberately she brought it about realizing too late that she had done a mischief He reached the point of sitting with her in miserable silence whenever they went out together
A Scroll and Keys man at Yale he possessed the correct reticences of a good egg the correct notions of chivalry and noblesse oblige—and of course but unfortunately the correct biases and the correct lack of ideas—all those traits which Anthony had taught her to despise but which nevertheless she rather admired Unlike the majority of his type she found that he was not a bore He was handsome witty in a light way and when she was with him she felt that because of some quality he possessed—call it stupidity loyalty sentimentality or something not quite as definite as any of the three—he would have done anything in his power to please her
He told her this among other things very correctly and with a ponderous manliness that masked a real suffering Loving him not at all she grew sorry for him and kissed him sentimentally one night because he was so charming a relic of a vanishing generation which lived a priggish and graceful illusion and was being replaced by less gallant fools Afterward she was glad she had kissed him for next day when his plane fell fifteen hundred feet at Mineola a piece of a gasolene engine smashed through his heart
GLORIA ALONE
When Mr Haight told her that the trial would not take place until autumn she decided that without telling Anthony she would go into the movies When he saw her successful both histrionically and financially when he saw that she could have her will of Joseph Bloeckman yielding nothing in return he would lose his silly prejudices She lay awake half one night planning her career and enjoying her successes in anticipation and the next morning she called up Films Par Excellence Mr Bloeckman was in Europe
But the idea had gripped her so strongly this time that she decided to go the rounds of the moving picture employment agencies As so often had been the case her sense of smell worked against her good intentions The employment agency smelt as though it had been dead a very long time She waited five minutes inspecting her unprepossessing competitors—then she walked briskly out into the farthest recesses of Central Park and remained so long that she caught a cold She was trying to air the employment agency out of her walking suit
In the spring she began to gather from Anthonys letters—not from any one in particular but from their culminative effect—that he did not want her to come South Curiously repeated excuses that seemed to haunt him by their very insufficiency occurred with Freudian regularity He set them down in each letter as though he feared he had forgotten them the last time as though it were desperately necessary to impress her with them And the dilutions of his letters with affectionate diminutives began to be mechanical and unspontaneous—almost as though having completed the letter he had looked it over and literally stuck them in like epigrams in an Oscar Wilde play She jumped to the solution rejected it was angry and depressed by turns—finally she shut her mind to it proudly and allowed an increasing coolness to creep into her end of the correspondence
Of late she had found a good deal to occupy her attention Several aviators whom she had met through Tudor Baird came into New York to see her and two other ancient beaux turned up stationed at Camp Dix As these men were ordered overseas they so to speak handed her down to their friends But after another rather disagreeable experience with a potential Captain Collins she made it plain that when any one was introduced to her he should be under no misapprehensions as to her status and personal intentions
When summer came she learned like Anthony to watch the officers casualty list taking a sort of melancholy pleasure in hearing of the death of some one with whom she had once danced a german and in identifying by name the younger brothers of former suitors—thinking as the drive toward Paris progressed that here at length went the world to inevitable and wellmerited destruction
She was twentyseven Her birthday fled by scarcely noticed Years before it had frightened her when she became twenty to some extent when she reached twentysix—but now she looked in the glass with calm selfapproval seeing the British freshness of her complexion and her figure boyish and slim as of old
She tried not to think of Anthony It was as though she were writing to a stranger She told her friends that he had been made a corporal and was annoyed when they were politely unimpressed One night she wept because she was sorry for him—had he been even slightly responsive she would have gone to him without hesitation on the first trainwhatever he was doing he needed to be taken care of spiritually and she felt that now she would be able to do even that Recently without his continual drain upon her moral strength she found herself wonderfully revived Before he left she had been inclined through sheer association to brood on her wasted opportunities—now she returned to her normal state of mind strong disdainful existing each day for each days worth She bought a doll and dressed it one week she wept over Ethan Frome the next she revelled in some novels of Galsworthys whom she liked for his power of recreating by spring in darkness that illusion of young romantic love to which women look forever forward and forever back
In October Anthonys letters multiplied became almost frantic—then suddenly ceased For a worried month it needed all her powers of control to refrain from leaving immediately for Mississippi Then a telegram told her that he had been in the hospital and that she could expect him in New York within ten days Like a figure in a dream he came back into her life across the ballroom on that November evening—and all through long hours that held familiar gladness she took him close to her breast nursing an illusion of happiness and security she had not thought that she would know again
DISCOMFITURE OF THE GENERALS
After a week Anthonys regiment went back to the Mississippi camp to be discharged The officers shut themselves up in the compartments on the Pullman cars and drank the whiskey they had bought in New York and in the coaches the soldiers got as drunk as possible also—and pretended whenever the train stopped at a village that they were just returned from France where they had practically put an end to the German army As they all wore overseas caps and claimed that they had not had time to have their gold service stripes sewed on the yokelry of the seaboard were much impressed and asked them how they liked the trenches—to which they replied Oh boy with great smacking of tongues and shaking of heads Some one took a piece of chalk and scrawled on the side of the train We won the war—now were going home and the officers laughed and let it stay They were all getting what swagger they could out of this ignominious return
As they rumbled on toward camp Anthony was uneasy lest he should find Dot awaiting him patiently at the station To his relief he neither saw nor heard anything of her and thinking that were she still in town she would certainly attempt to communicate with him he concluded that she had gone—whither he neither knew nor cared He wanted only to return to Gloria—Gloria reborn and wonderfully alive When eventually he was discharged he left his company on the rear of a great truck with a crowd who had given tolerant almost sentimental cheers for their officers especially for Captain Dunning The captain on his part had addressed them with tears in his eyes as to the pleasure etc and the work etc and time not wasted etc and duty etc It was very dull and human having given ear to it Anthony whose mind was freshened by his week in New York renewed his deep loathing for the military profession and all it connoted In their childish hearts two out of every three professional officers considered that wars were made for armies and not armies for wars He rejoiced to see general and fieldofficers riding desolately about the barren camp deprived of their commands He rejoiced to hear the men in his company laugh scornfully at the inducements tendered them to remain in the army They were to attend schools He knew what these schools were
Two days later he was with Gloria in New York
ANOTHER WINTER
Late one February afternoon Anthony came into the apartment and groping through the little hall pitchdark in the winter dusk found Gloria sitting by the window She turned as he came in
What did Mr Haight have to say she asked listlessly
Nothing he answered usual thing Next month perhaps
She looked at him closely her ear attuned to his voice caught the slightest thickness in the dissyllable
Youve been drinking she remarked dispassionately
Couple glasses
Oh
He yawned in the armchair and there was a moments silence between them
Then she demanded suddenly
Did you go to Mr Haight Tell me the truth
No He smiled weakly As a matter of fact I didnt have time
I thought you didnt go… He sent for you
I dont give a damn Im sick of waiting around his office Youd think he was doing me a favor He glanced at Gloria as though expecting moral support but she had turned back to her contemplation of the dubious and unprepossessing outofdoors
I feel rather weary of life today he offered tentatively Still she was silent I met a fellow and we talked in the Biltmore bar
The dusk had suddenly deepened but neither of them made any move to turn on the lights Lost in heaven knew what contemplation they sat there until a flurry of snow drew a languid sigh from Gloria
Whatve you been doing he asked finding the silence oppressive
Reading a magazine—all full of idiotic articles by prosperous authors about how terrible it is for poor people to buy silk shirts And while I was reading it I could think of nothing except how I wanted a gray squirrel coat—and how we cant afford one
Yes we can
Oh no
Oh yes If you want a fur coat you can have one
Her voice coming through the dark held an implication of scorn
You mean we can sell another bond
If necessary I dont want to go without things We have spent a lot though since Ive been back
Oh shut up she said in irritation
Why
Because Im sick and tired of hearing you talk about what weve spent or what weve done You came back two months ago and weve been on some sort of a party practically every night since Weve both wanted to go out and weve gone Well you havent heard me complain have you But all you do is whine whine whine I dont care any more what we do or what becomes of us and at least Im consistent But I will not tolerate your complaining and calamityhowling——
Youre not very pleasant yourself sometimes you know
Im under no obligations to be Youre not making any attempt to make things different
But I am—
Huh Seems to me Ive heard that before This morning you werent going to touch another thing to drink until youd gotten a position And you didnt even have the spunk to go to Mr Haight when he sent for you about the suit
Anthony got to his feet and switched on the lights
See here he cried blinking Im getting sick of that sharp tongue of yours
Well what are you going to do about it
Do you think Im particularly happy he continued ignoring her question Do you think I dont know were not living as we ought to
In an instant Gloria stood trembling beside him
I wont stand it she burst out I wont be lectured to You and your suffering Youre just a pitiful weakling and you always have been
They faced one another idiotically each of them unable to impress the other each of them tremendously achingly bored Then she went into the bedroom and shut the door behind her
His return had brought into the foreground all their prebellum exasperations Prices had risen alarmingly and in perverse ratio their income had shrunk to a little over half of its original size There had been the large retainers fee to Mr Haight there were stocks bought at one hundred now down to thirty and forty and other investments that were not paying at all During the previous spring Gloria had been given the alternative of leaving the apartment or of signing a years lease at two hundred and twentyfive a month She had signed it Inevitably as the necessity for economy had increased they found themselves as a pair quite unable to save The old policy of prevarication was resorted to Weary of their incapabilities they chattered of what they would do—oh—tomorrow of how they would stop going on parties and of how Anthony would go to work But when dark came down Gloria accustomed to an engagement every night would feel the ancient restlessness creeping over her She would stand in the doorway of the bedroom chewing furiously at her fingers and sometimes meeting Anthonys eyes as he glanced up from his book Then the telephone and her nerves would relax she would answer it with illconcealed eagerness Some one was coming up for just a few minutes—and oh the weariness of pretense the appearance of the wine table the revival of their jaded spirits—and the awakening like the midpoint of a sleepless night in which they moved
As the winter passed with the march of the returning troops along Fifth Avenue they became more and more aware that since Anthonys return their relations had entirely changed After that reflowering of tenderness and passion each of them had returned into some solitary dream unshared by the other and what endearments passed between them passed it seemed from empty heart to empty heart echoing hollowly the departure of what they knew at last was gone
Anthony had again made the rounds of the metropolitan newspapers and had again been refused encouragement by a motley of office boys telephone girls and city editors The word was Were keeping any vacancies open for our own men who are still in France Then late in March his eye fell on an advertisement in the morning paper and in consequence he found at last the semblance of an occupation
YOU CAN SELL
Why not earn while you learn
Our salesmen make 50200 weekly
There followed an address on Madison Avenue and instructions to appear at one oclock that afternoon Gloria glancing over his shoulder after one of their usual late breakfasts saw him regarding it idly
Why dont you try it she suggested
Oh—its one of these crazy schemes
It might not be At least itd be experience
At her urging he went at one oclock to the appointed address where he found himself one of a dense miscellany of men waiting in front of the door They ranged from a messengerboy evidently misusing his companys time to an immemorial individual with a gnarled body and a gnarled cane Some of the men were seedy with sunken cheeks and puffy pink eyes—others were young possibly still in high school After a jostled fifteen minutes during which they all eyed one another with apathetic suspicion there appeared a smart young shepherd clad in a waistline suit and wearing the manner of an assistant rector who herded them upstairs into a large room which resembled a schoolroom and contained innumerable desks Here the prospective salesmen sat down—and again waited After an interval a platform at the end of the hall was clouded with half a dozen sober but sprightly men who with one exception took seats in a semicircle facing the audience
The exception was the man who seemed the soberest the most sprightly and the youngest of the lot and who advanced to the front of the platform The audience scrutinized him hopefully He was rather small and rather pretty with the commercial rather than the thespian sort of prettiness He had straight blond bushy brows and eyes that were almost preposterously honest and as he reached the edge of his rostrum he seemed to throw these eyes out into the audience simultaneously extending his arm with two fingers outstretched Then while he rocked himself to a state of balance an expectant silence settled over the hall With perfect assurance the young man had taken his listeners in hand and his words when they came were steady and confident and of the school of straight from the shoulder
Men—he began and paused The word died with a prolonged echo at the end of the hall the faces regarding him hopefully cynically wearily were alike arrested engrossed Six hundred eyes were turned slightly upward With an even graceless flow that reminded Anthony of the rolling of bowling balls he launched himself into the sea of exposition
This bright and sunny morning you picked up your favorite newspaper and you found an advertisement which made the plain unadorned statement that you could sell That was all it said—it didnt say what it didnt say how it didnt say why It just made one single solitary assertion that you and you and you—business of pointing—could sell Now my job isnt to make a success of you because every man is born a success he makes himself a failure its not to teach you how to talk because each man is a natural orator and only makes himself a clam my business is to tell you one thing in a way that will make you know it—its to tell you that you and you and you have the heritage of money and prosperity waiting for you to come and claim it
At this point an Irishman of saturnine appearance rose from his desk near the rear of the hall and went out
That man thinks hell go look for it in the beer parlor around the corner Laughter He wont find it there Once upon a time I looked for it there myself laughter but that was before I did what every one of you men no matter how young or how old how poor or how rich a faint ripple of satirical laughter can do It was before I found—myself
Now I wonder if any of you men know what a Heart Talk is A Heart Talk is a little book in which I started about five years ago to write down what I had discovered were the principal reasons for a mans failure and the principal reasons for a mans success—from John D Rockerfeller back to John D Napoleon laughter and before that back in the days when Abel sold his birthright for a mess of pottage There are now one hundred of these Heart Talks Those of you who are sincere who are interested in our proposition above all who are dissatisfied with the way things are breaking for you at present will be handed one to take home with you as you go out yonder door this afternoon
Now in my own pocket I have four letters just received concerning Heart Talks These letters have names signed to them that are familiar in every household in the USA Listen to this one from Detroit
DEAR MR CARLETON
I want to order three thousand more copies of Heart Talks for distribution among my salesmen They have done more for getting work out of the men than any bonus proposition ever considered I read them myself constantly and I desire to heartily congratulate you on getting at the roots of the biggest problem that faces our generation today—the problem of salesmanship The rock bottom on which the country is founded is the problem of salesmanship With many felicitations I am
Yours very cordially
HENRY W TERRAL
He brought the name out in three long booming triumphancies—pausing for it to produce its magical effect Then he read two more letters one from a manufacturer of vacuum cleaners and one from the president of the Great Northern Doily Company
And now he continued Im going to tell you in a few words what the proposition is thats going to make those of you who go into it in the right spirit Simply put its this Heart Talks have been incorporated as a company Were going to put these little pamphlets into the hands of every big business organization every salesman and every man who knows—I dont say thinks I say knows—that he can sell We are offering some of the stock of the Heart Talks concern upon the market and in order that the distribution may be as wide as possible and in order also that we can furnish a living concrete fleshandblood example of what salesmanship is or rather what it may be were going to give those of you who are the real thing a chance to sell that stock Now I dont care what youve tried to sell before or how youve tried to sell it It dont matter how old you are or how young you are I only want to know two things—first do you want success and second will you work for it
My name is Sammy Carleton Not Mr Carleton but just plain Sammy Im a regular nononsense man with no fancy frills about me I want you to call me Sammy
Now this is all Im going to say to you today Tomorrow I want those of you who have thought it over and have read the copy of Heart Talks which will be given to you at the door to come back to this same room at this same time then well go into the proposition further and Ill explain to you what Ive found the principles of success to be Im going to make you feel that you and you and you can sell
Mr Carletons voice echoed for a moment through the hall and then died away To the stamping of many feet Anthony was pushed and jostled with the crowd out of the room
FURTHER ADVENTURES WITH HEART TALKS
With an accompaniment of ironic laughter Anthony told Gloria the story of his commercial adventure But she listened without amusement
Youre going to give up again she demanded coldly
Why—you dont expect me to—
I never expected anything of you
He hesitated
Well—I cant see the slightest benefit in laughing myself sick over this sort of affair If theres anything older than the old story its the new twist
It required an astonishing amount of moral energy on Glorias part to intimidate him into returning and when he reported next day somewhat depressed from his perusal of the senile bromides skittishly set forth in Heart Talks on Ambition he found only fifty of the original three hundred awaiting the appearance of the vital and compelling Sammy Carleton Mr Carletons powers of vitality and compulsion were this time exercised in elucidating that magnificent piece of speculation—how to sell It seemed that the approved method was to state ones proposition and then to say not And now will you buy—this was not the way—oh no—the way was to state ones proposition and then having reduced ones adversary to a state of exhaustion to deliver oneself of the categorical imperative Now see here Youve taken up my time explaining this matter to you Youve admitted my points—all I want to ask is how many do you want
As Mr Carleton piled assertion upon assertion Anthony began to feel a sort of disgusted confidence in him The man appeared to know what he was talking about Obviously prosperous he had risen to the position of instructing others It did not occur to Anthony that the type of man who attains commercial success seldom knows how or why and as in his grandfathers case when he ascribes reasons the reasons are generally inaccurate and absurd
Anthony noted that of the numerous old men who had answered the original advertisement only two had returned and that among the thirty odd who assembled on the third day to get actual selling instructions from Mr Carleton only one gray head was in evidence These thirty were eager converts with their mouths they followed the working of Mr Carletons mouth they swayed in their seats with enthusiasm and in the intervals of his talk they spoke to each other in tense approving whispers Yet of the chosen few who in the words of Mr Carleton were determined to get those deserts that rightly and truly belonged to them less than half a dozen combined even a modicum of personal appearance with that great gift of being a pusher But they were told that they were all natural pushers—it was merely necessary that they should believe with a sort of savage passion in what they were selling He even urged each one to buy some stock himself if possible in order to increase his own sincerity
On the fifth day then Anthony sallied into the street with all the sensations of a man wanted by the police Acting according to instructions he selected a tall office building in order that he might ride to the top story and work downward stopping in every office that had a name on the door But at the last minute he hesitated Perhaps it would be more practicable to acclimate himself to the chilly atmosphere which he felt was awaiting him by trying a few offices on say Madison Avenue He went into an arcade that seemed only semiprosperous and seeing a sign which read Percy B Weatherbee Architect he opened the door heroically and entered A starchy young woman looked up questioningly
Can I see Mr Weatherbee He wondered if his voice sounded tremulous
She laid her hand tentatively on the telephonereceiver
Whats the name please
He wouldnt—ah—know me He wouldnt know my name
Whats your business with him You an insurance agent
Oh no nothing like that denied Anthony hurriedly Oh no Its a—its a personal matter He wondered if he should have said this It had all sounded so simple when Mr Carleton had enjoined his flock
Dont allow yourself to be kept out Show them youve made up your mind to talk to them and theyll listen
The girl succumbed to Anthonys pleasant melancholy face and in a moment the door to the inner room opened and admitted a tall splayfooted man with slicked hair He approached Anthony with illconcealed impatience
You wanted to see me on a personal matter
Anthony quailed
I wanted to talk to you he said defiantly
About what
Itll take some time to explain
Well whats it about Mr Weatherbees voice indicated rising irritation
Then Anthony straining at each word each syllable began
I dont know whether or not youve ever heard of a series of pamphlets called Heart Talks—
Good grief cried Percy B Weatherbee Architect are you trying to touch my heart
No its business Heart Talks have been incorporated and were putting some shares on the market—
His voice faded slowly off harassed by a fixed and contemptuous stare from his unwilling prey For another minute he struggled on increasingly sensitive entangled in his own words His confidence oozed from him in great retching emanations that seemed to be sections of his own body Almost mercifully Percy B Weatherbee Architect terminated the interview
Good grief he exploded in disgust and you call that a personal matter He whipped about and strode into his private office banging the door behind him Not daring to look at the stenographer Anthony in some shameful and mysterious way got himself from the room Perspiring profusely he stood in the hall wondering why they didnt come and arrest him in every hurried look he discerned infallibly a glance of scorn
After an hour and with the help of two strong whiskies he brought himself up to another attempt He walked into a plumbers shop but when he mentioned his business the plumber began pulling on his coat in a great hurry gruffly announcing that he had to go to lunch Anthony remarked politely that it was futile to try to sell a man anything when he was hungry and the plumber heartily agreed
This episode encouraged Anthony he tried to think that had the plumber not been bound for lunch he would at least have listened
Passing by a few glittering and formidable bazaars he entered a grocery store A talkative proprietor told him that before buying any stocks he was going to see how the armistice affected the market To Anthony this seemed almost unfair In Mr Carletons salesmans Utopia the only reason prospective buyers ever gave for not purchasing stock was that they doubted it to be a promising investment Obviously a man in that state was almost ludicrously easy game to be brought down merely by the judicious application of the correct selling points But these men—why actually they werent considering buying anything at all
Anthony took several more drinks before he approached his fourth man a realestate agent nevertheless he was floored with a coup as decisive as a syllogism The realestate agent said that he had three brothers in the investment business Viewing himself as a breakerup of homes Anthony apologized and went out
After another drink he conceived the brilliant plan of selling the stock to the bartenders along Lexington Avenue This occupied several hours for it was necessary to take a few drinks in each place in order to get the proprietor in the proper frame of mind to talk business But the bartenders one and all contended that if they had any money to buy bonds they would not be bartenders It was as though they had all convened and decided upon that rejoinder As he approached a dark and soggy five oclock he found that they were developing a still more annoying tendency to turn him off with a jest
At five then with a tremendous effort at concentration he decided that he must put more variety into his canvassing He selected a mediumsized delicatessen store and went in He felt illuminatingly that the thing to do was to cast a spell not only over the storekeeper but over all the customers as well—and perhaps through the psychology of the herd instinct they would buy as an astounded and immediately convinced whole
Afernoon he began in a loud thick voice Ga lil propsition
If he had wanted silence he obtained it A sort of awe descended upon the halfdozen women marketing and upon the grayhaired ancient who in cap and apron was slicing chicken
Anthony pulled a batch of papers from his flapping briefcase and waved them cheerfully
Buy a bon he suggested good as liberty bon The phrase pleased him and he elaborated upon it Bettern liberty bon Every one these bons worth two liberty bons His mind made a hiatus and skipped to his peroration which he delivered with appropriate gestures these being somewhat marred by the necessity of clinging to the counter with one or both hands
Now see here You taken up my time I dont want know why you wont buy I just want you say why Want you say how many
At this point they should have approached him with checkbooks and fountain pens in hand Realizing that they must have missed a cue Anthony with the instincts of an actor went back and repeated his finale
Now see here You taken up my time You followed propsition You agreed th reasonin Now all I want from you is how many libty bons
See here broke in a new voice A portly man whose face was adorned with symmetrical scrolls of yellow hair had come out of a glass cage in the rear of the store and was bearing down upon Anthony See here you
How many repeated the salesman sternly You taken up my time—
Hey you cried the proprietor Ill have you taken up by the police
You mos certnly wont returned Anthony with fine defiance All I want know is how many
From here and there in the store went up little clouds of comment and expostulation
How terrible
Hes a raving maniac
Hes disgracefully drunk
The proprietor grasped Anthonys arm sharply
Get out or Ill call a policeman
Some relics of rationality moved Anthony to nod and replace his bonds clumsily in the case.
How many he reiterated doubtfully
The whole force if necessary thundered his adversary his yellow mustache trembling fiercely
Sell em all a bon
With this Anthony turned bowed gravely to his late auditors and wabbled from the store He found a taxicab at the corner and rode home to the apartment There he fell sound asleep on the sofa and so Gloria found him his breath filling the air with an unpleasant pungency his hand still clutching his open brief case
Except when Anthony was drinking his range of sensation had become less than that of a healthy old man and when prohibition came in July he found that among those who could afford it there was more drinking than ever before Ones host now brought out a bottle upon the slightest pretext The tendency to display liquor was a manifestation of the same instinct that led a man to deck his wife with jewels To have liquor was a boast almost a badge of respectability
In the mornings Anthony awoke tired nervous and worried Halcyon summer twilights and the purple chill of morning alike left him unresponsive Only for a brief moment every day in the warmth and renewed life of a first highball did his mind turn to those opalescent dreams of future pleasure—the mutual heritage of the happy and the damned But this was only for a little while As he grew drunker the dreams faded and he became a confused spectre moving in odd crannies of his own mind full of unexpected devices harshly contemptuous at best and reaching sodden and dispirited depths One night in June he had quarrelled violently with Maury over a matter of the utmost triviality He remembered dimly next morning that it had been about a broken pint bottle of champagne Maury had told him to sober up and Anthonys feelings had been hurt so with an attempted gesture of dignity he had risen from the table and seizing Glorias arm half led half shamed her into a taxicab outside leaving Maury with three dinners ordered and tickets for the opera
This sort of semitragic fiasco had become so usual that when they occurred he was no longer stirred into making amends If Gloria protested—and of late she was more likely to sink into contemptuous silence—he would either engage in a bitter defense of himself or else stalk dismally from the apartment Never since the incident on the station platform at Redgate had he laid his hands on her in anger—though he was withheld often only by some instinct that itself made him tremble with rage Just as he still cared more for her than for any other creature so did he more intensely and frequently hate her
So far the judges of the Appellate Division had failed to hand down a decision but after another postponement they finally affirmed the decree of the lower court—two justices dissenting A notice of appeal was served upon Edward Shuttleworth The case was going to the court of last resort and they were in for another interminable wait Six months perhaps a year It had grown enormously unreal to them remote and uncertain as heaven
Throughout the previous winter one small matter had been a subtle and omnipresent irritant—the question of Glorias gray fur coat At that time women enveloped in long squirrel wraps could be seen every few yards along Fifth Avenue The women were converted to the shape of tops They seemed porcine and obscene they resembled kept women in the concealing richness the feminine animality of the garment Yet—Gloria wanted a gray squirrel coat
Discussing the matter—or rather arguing it for even more than in the first year of their marriage did every discussion take the form of bitter debate full of such phrases as most certainly utterly outrageous its so nevertheless and the ultraemphatic regardless—they concluded that they could not afford it And so gradually it began to stand as a symbol of their growing financial anxiety
To Gloria the shrinkage of their income was a remarkable phenomenon without explanation or precedent—that it could happen at all within the space of five years seemed almost an intended cruelty conceived and executed by a sardonic God When they were married seventyfive hundred a year had seemed ample for a young couple especially when augmented by the expectation of many millions Gloria had failed to realize that it was decreasing not only in amount but in purchasing power until the payment of Mr Haights retaining fee of fifteen thousand dollars made the fact suddenly and startlingly obvious When Anthony was drafted they had calculated their income at over four hundred a month with the dollar even then decreasing in value but on his return to New York they discovered an even more alarming condition of affairs They were receiving only fortyfive hundred a year from their investments And though the suit over the will moved ahead of them like a persistent mirage and the financial dangermark loomed up in the near distance they found nevertheless that living within their income was impossible
So Gloria went without the squirrel coat and every day upon Fifth Avenue she was a little conscious of her wellworn halflength leopard skin now hopelessly oldfashioned Every other month they sold a bond yet when the bills were paid it left only enough to be gulped down hungrily by their current expenses Anthonys calculations showed that their capital would last about seven years longer So Glorias heart was very bitter for in one week on a prolonged hysterical party during which Anthony whimsically divested himself of coat vest and shirt in a theatre and was assisted out by a posse of ushers they spent twice what the gray squirrel coat would have cost
It was November Indian summer rather and a warm warm night—which was unnecessary for the work of the summer was done Babe Ruth had smashed the homerun record for the first time and Jack Dempsey had broken Jess Willards cheekbone out in Ohio Over in Europe the usual number of children had swollen stomachs from starvation and the diplomats were at their customary business of making the world safe for new wars In New York City the proletariat were being disciplined and the odds on Harvard were generally quoted at five to three Peace had come down in earnest the beginning of new days
Up in the bedroom of the apartment on Fiftyseventh Street Gloria lay upon her bed and tossed from side to side sitting up at intervals to throw off a superfluous cover and once asking Anthony who was lying awake beside her to bring her a glass of icewater Be sure and put ice in it she said with insistence it isnt cold enough the way it comes from the faucet
Looking through the frail curtains she could see the rounded moon over the roofs and beyond it on the sky the yellow glow from Times Square—and watching the two incongruous lights her mind worked over an emotion or rather an interwoven complex of emotions that had occupied it through the day and the day before that and back to the last time when she could remember having thought clearly and consecutively about anything—which must have been while Anthony was in the army
She would be twentynine in February The month assumed an ominous and inescapable significance—making her wonder through these nebulous halffevered hours whether after all she had not wasted her faintly tired beauty whether there was such a thing as use for any quality bounded by a harsh and inevitable mortality
Years before when she was twentyone she had written in her diary Beauty is only to be admired only to be lovedto be harvested carefully and then flung at a chosen lover like a gift of roses It seems to me so far as I can judge clearly at all that my beauty should be used like that…
And now all this November day all this desolate day under a sky dirty and white Gloria had been thinking that perhaps she had been wrong To preserve the integrity of her first gift she had looked no more for love When the first flame and ecstasy had grown dim sunk down departed she had begun preserving—what It puzzled her that she no longer knew just what she was preserving—a sentimental memory or some profound and fundamental concept of honor She was doubting now whether there had been any moral issue involved in her way of life—to walk unworried and unregretful along the gayest of all possible lanes and to keep her pride by being always herself and doing what it seemed beautiful that she should do From the first little boy in an Eton collar whose girl she had been down to the latest casual man whose eyes had grown alert and appreciative as they rested upon her there was needed only that matchless candor she could throw into a look or clothe with an inconsequent clause—for she had talked always in broken clauses—to weave about her immeasurable illusions immeasurable distances immeasurable light To create souls in men to create fine happiness and fine despair she must remain deeply proud—proud to be inviolate proud also to be melting to be passionate and possessed
She knew that in her breast she had never wanted children The reality the earthiness the intolerable sentiment of childbearing the menace to her beauty—had appalled her She wanted to exist only as a conscious flower prolonging and preserving itself Her sentimentality could cling fiercely to her own illusions but her ironic soul whispered that motherhood was also the privilege of the female baboon So her dreams were of ghostly children only—the early the perfect symbols of her early and perfect love for Anthony
In the end then her beauty was all that never failed her She had never seen beauty like her own What it meant ethically or aesthetically faded before the gorgeous concreteness of her pinkandwhite feet the clean perfectness of her body and the baby mouth that was like the material symbol of a kiss
She would be twentynine in February As the long night waned she grew supremely conscious that she and beauty were going to make use of these next three months At first she was not sure for what but the problem resolved itself gradually into the old lure of the screen She was in earnest now No material want could have moved her as this fear moved her No matter for Anthony Anthony the poor in spirit the weak and broken man with bloodshot eyes for whom she still had moments of tenderness No matter She would be twentynine in February—a hundred days so many days she would go to Bloeckman tomorrow
With the decision came relief It cheered her that in some manner the illusion of beauty could be sustained or preserved perhaps in celluloid after the reality had vanished Well—tomorrow
The next day she felt weak and ill She tried to go out and saved herself from collapse only by clinging to a mail box near the front door The Martinique elevator boy helped her upstairs and she waited on the bed for Anthonys return without energy to unhook her brassiere
For five days she was down with influenza which just as the month turned the corner into winter ripened into double pneumonia In the feverish perambulations of her mind she prowled through a house of bleak unlighted rooms hunting for her mother All she wanted was to be a little girl to be efficiently taken care of by some yielding yet superior power stupider and steadier than herself It seemed that the only lover she had ever wanted was a lover in a dream
ODI PROFANUM VULGUS
One day in the midst of Glorias illness there occurred a curious incident that puzzled Miss McGovern the trained nurse for some time afterward It was noon but the room in which the patient lay was dark and quiet Miss McGovern was standing near the bed mixing some medicine when Mrs Patch who had apparently been sound asleep sat up and began to speak vehemently
Millions of people she said swarming like rats chattering like apes smelling like all hell … monkeys Or lice I suppose For one really exquisite palace … on Long Island say—or even in Greenwich … for one palace full of pictures from the Old World and exquisite things—with avenues of trees and green lawns and a view of the blue sea and lovely people about in slick dresses … Id sacrifice a hundred thousand of them a million of them She raised her hand feebly and snapped her fingers I care nothing for them—understand me
The look she bent upon Miss McGovern at the conclusion of this speech was curiously elfin curiously intent Then she gave a short little laugh polished with scorn and tumbling backward fell off again to sleep
Miss McGovern was bewildered She wondered what were the hundred thousand things that Mrs Patch would sacrifice for her palace Dollars she supposed—yet it had not sounded exactly like dollars
THE MOVIES
It was February seven days before her birthday and the great snow that had filled up the crossstreets as dirt fills the cracks in a floor had turned to slush and was being escorted to the gutters by the hoses of the streetcleaning department The wind none the less bitter for being casual whipped in through the open windows of the living room bearing with it the dismal secrets of the areaway and clearing the Patch apartment of stale smoke in its cheerless circulation
Gloria wrapped in a warm kimona came into the chilly room and taking up the telephone receiver called Joseph Bloeckman
Do you mean Mr Joseph Black demanded the telephone girl at Films
Par Excellence
Bloeckman Joseph Bloeckman Blo—
Mr Joseph Bloeckman has changed his name to Black Do you want him
Why—yes She remembered nervously that she had once called him
Blockhead to his face
His office was reached by courtesy of two additional female voices the last was a secretary who took her name Only with the flow through the transmitter of his own familiar but faintly impersonal tone did she realize that it had been three years since they had met And he had changed his name to Black
Can you see me she suggested lightly Its on a business matter really Im going into the movies at last—if I can
Im awfully glad Ive always thought youd like it
Do you think you can get me a trial she demanded with the arrogance peculiar to all beautiful women to all women who have ever at any time considered themselves beautiful
He assured her that it was merely a question of when she wanted the trial Any time Well hed phone later in the day and let her know a convenient hour The conversation closed with conventional padding on both sides Then from three oclock to five she sat close to the telephone—with no result
But next morning came a note that contented and excited her
My dear Gloria
Just by luck a matter came to my attention that I think will be just suited to you I would like to see you start with something that would bring you notice At the same time if a very beautiful girl of your sort is put directly into a picture next to one of the rather shopworn stars with which every company is afflicted tongues would very likely wag But there is a flapper part in a Percy B Debris production that I think would be just suited to you and would bring you notice Willa Sable plays opposite Gaston Mears in a sort of character part and your part I believe would be her younger sister
Anyway Percy B Debris who is directing the picture says if youll come to the studios day after tomorrow Thursday he will run off a test If ten oclock is suited to you I will meet you there at that time
With all good wishes
Ever Faithfully
JOSEPH BLACK
Gloria had decided that Anthony was to know nothing of this until she had obtained a definite position and accordingly she was dressed and out of the apartment next morning before he awoke Her mirror had given her she thought much the same account as ever She wondered if there were any lingering traces of her sickness She was still slightly under weight and she had fancied a few days before that her cheeks were a trifle thinner—but she felt that those were merely transitory conditions and that on this particular day she looked as fresh as ever She had bought and charged a new hat and as the day was warm she had left the leopard skin coat at home
At the Films Par Excellence studios she was announced over the telephone and told that Mr Black would be down directly She looked around her Two girls were being shown about by a little fat man in a slashpocket coat and one of them had indicated a stack of thin parcels piled breasthigh against the wall and extending along for twenty feet
Thats studio mail explained the fat man Pictures of the stars who are with Films Par Excellence
Oh
Each ones autographed by Florence Kelley or Gaston Mears or Mack
Dodge— He winked confidentially At least when Minnie McGlook out in
Sauk Center gets the picture she wrote for she thinks its
autographed
Just a stamp
Sure Itd take em a good eighthour day to autograph half of em
They say Mary Pickfords studio mail costs her fifty thousand a year
Say
Sure Fifty thousand But its the best kinda advertising there is—
They drifted out of earshot and almost immediately Bloeckman appeared—Bloeckman a dark suave gentleman gracefully engaged in the middle forties who greeted her with courteous warmth and told her she had not changed a bit in three years He led the way into a great hall as large as an armory and broken intermittently with busy sets and blinding rows of unfamiliar light Each piece of scenery was marked in large white letters Gaston Mears Company Mack Dodge Company or simply Films Par Excellence
Ever been in a studio before
Never have
She liked it There was no heavy closeness of greasepaint no scent of soiled and tawdry costumes which years before had revolted her behind the scenes of a musical comedy This work was done in the clean mornings the appurtenances seemed rich and gorgeous and new On a set that was joyous with Manchu hangings a perfect Chinaman was going through a scene according to megaphone directions as the great glittering machine ground out its ancient moral tale for the edification of the national mind
A redheaded man approached them and spoke with familiar deference to
Bloeckman who answered
Hello Debris Want you to meet Mrs Patch… Mrs Patch wants to go into pictures as I explained to you… All right now where do we go
Mr Debris—the great Percy B Debris thought Gloria—showed them to a set which represented the interior of an office Some chairs were drawn up around the camera which stood in front of it and the three of them sat down
Ever been in a studio before asked Mr Debris giving her a glance that was surely the quintessence of keenness No Well Ill explain exactly whats going to happen Were going to take what we call a test in order to see how your features photograph and whether youve got natural stage presence and how you respond to coaching Theres no need to be nervous over it Ill just have the cameraman take a few hundred feet in an episode Ive got marked here in the scenario We can tell pretty much what we want to from that
He produced a typewritten continuity and explained to her the episode she was to enact It developed that one Barbara Wainwright had been secretly married to the junior partner of the firm whose office was there represented Entering the deserted office one day by accident she was naturally interested in seeing where her husband worked The telephone rang and after some hesitation she answered it She learned that her husband had been struck by an automobile and instantly killed She was overcome At first she was unable to realize the truth but finally she succeeded in comprehending it and went into a dead faint on the floor
Now thats all we want concluded Mr Debris Im going to stand here and tell you approximately what to do and youre to act as though I wasnt here and just go on do it your own way You neednt be afraid were going to judge this too severely We simply want to get a general idea of your screen personality
I see
Youll find makeup in the room in back of the set Go light on it
Very little red
I see repeated Gloria nodding She touched her lips nervously with the tip of her tongue
THE TEST
As she came into the set through the real wooden door and closed it carefully behind her she found herself inconveniently dissatisfied with her clothes She should have bought a misses dress for the occasion—she could still wear them and it might have been a good investment if it had accentuated her airy youth
Her mind snapped sharply into the momentous present as Mr Debriss voice came from the glare of the white lights in front
You look around for your husband… Now—you dont see him … youre curious about the office…
She became conscious of the regular sound of the camera It worried her She glanced toward it involuntarily and wondered if she had made up her face correctly Then with a definite effort she forced herself to act—and she had never felt that the gestures of her body were so banal so awkward so bereft of grace or distinction She strolled around the office picking up articles here and there and looking at them inanely Then she scrutinized the ceiling the floor and thoroughly inspected an inconsequential lead pencil on the desk Finally because she could think of nothing else to do and less than nothing to express she forced a smile
All right Now the phone rings Tingalingaling Hesitate and then answer it
She hesitated—and then too quickly she thought picked up the receiver
Hello
Her voice was hollow and unreal The words rang in the empty set like the ineffectualities of a ghost The absurdities of their requirements appalled her—Did they expect that on an instants notice she could put herself in the place of this preposterous and unexplained character
… No … no… Not yet Now listen John Sumner has just been knocked over by an automobile and instantly killed
Gloria let her baby mouth drop slowly open Then
Now hang up With a bang
She obeyed clung to the table with her eyes wide and staring At length she was feeling slightly encouraged and her confidence increased
My God she cried Her voice was good she thought Oh my God
Now faint
She collapsed forward to her knees and throwing her body outward on the ground lay without breathing
All right called Mr Debris Thats enough thank you Thats plenty Get up—thats enough
Gloria arose mustering her dignity and brushing off her skirt
Awful she remarked with a cool laugh though her heart was bumping tumultuously Terrible wasnt it
Did you mind it said Mr Debris smiling blandly Did it seem hard
I cant tell anything about it until I have it run off
Of course not she agreed trying to attach some sort of meaning to his remark—and failing It was just the sort of thing he would have said had he been trying not to encourage her
A few moments later she left the studio Bloeckman had promised that she should hear the result of the test within the next few days Too proud to force any definite comment she felt a baffling uncertainty and only now when the step had at last been taken did she realize how the possibility of a successful screen career had played in the back of her mind for the past three years That night she tried to tell over to herself the elements that might decide for or against her Whether or not she had used enough makeup worried her and as the part was that of a girl of twenty she wondered if she had not been just a little too grave About her acting she was least of all satisfied Her entrance had been abominable—in fact not until she reached the phone had she displayed a shred of poise—and then the test had been over If they had only realized She wished that she could try it again A mad plan to call up in the morning and ask for a new trial took possession of her and as suddenly faded It seemed neither politic nor polite to ask another favor of Bloeckman
The third day of waiting found her in a highly nervous condition She had bitten the insides of her mouth until they were raw and smarting and burnt unbearably when she washed them with listerine She had quarrelled so persistently with Anthony that he had left the apartment in a cold fury But because he was intimidated by her exceptional frigidity he called up an hour afterward apologized and said he was having dinner at the Amsterdam Club the only one in which he still retained membership
It was after one oclock and she had breakfasted at eleven so deciding to forego luncheon she started for a walk in the Park At three there would be a mail She would be back by three
It was an afternoon of premature spring Water was drying on the walks and in the Park little girls were gravely wheeling white dollbuggies up and down under the thin trees while behind them followed bored nurserymaids in twos discussing with each other those tremendous secrets that are peculiar to nurserymaids
Two oclock by her little gold watch She should have a new watch one made in a platinum oblong and incrusted with diamonds—but those cost even more than squirrel coats and of course they were out of her reach now like everything else—unless perhaps the right letter was awaiting her … in about an hour … fiftyeight minutes exactly Ten to get there left fortyeight … fortyseven now …
Little girls soberly wheeling their buggies along the damp sunny walks The nurserymaids chattering in pairs about their inscrutable secrets Here and there a raggedy man seated upon newspapers spread on a drying bench related not to the radiant and delightful afternoon but to the dirty snow that slept exhausted in obscure corners waiting for extermination…
Ages later coming into the dim hall she saw the Martinique elevator boy standing incongruously in the light of the stainedglass window
Is there any mail for us she asked
Upstays madame
The switchboard squawked abominably and Gloria waited while he ministered to the telephone She sickened as the elevator groaned its way up—the floors passed like the slow lapse of centuries each one ominous accusing significant The letter a white leprous spot lay upon the dirty tiles of the hall…
My dear Gloria
We had the test run off yesterday afternoon and Mr Debris seemed to think that for the part he had in mind he needed a younger woman He said that the acting was not bad and that there was a small character part supposed to be a very haughty rich widow that he thought you might——
Desolately Gloria raised her glance until it fell out across the areaway But she found she could not see the opposite wall for her gray eyes were full of tears She walked into the bedroom the letter crinkled tightly in her hand and sank down upon her knees before the long mirror on the wardrobe floor This was her twentyninth birthday and the world was melting away before her eyes She tried to think that it had been the makeup but her emotions were too profound too overwhelming for any consolation that the thought conveyed
She strained to see until she could feel the flesh on her temples pull forward Yes—the cheeks were ever so faintly thin the corners of the eyes were lined with tiny wrinkles The eyes were different Why they were different … And then suddenly she knew how tired her eyes were
Oh my pretty face she whispered passionately grieving Oh my pretty face Oh I dont want to live without my pretty face Oh whats happened
Then she slid toward the mirror and as in the test sprawled face downward upon the floor—and lay there sobbing It was the first awkward movement she had ever made
CHAPTER III
NO MATTER
Within another year Anthony and Gloria had become like players who had lost their costumes lacking the pride to continue on the note of tragedy—so that when Mrs and Miss Hulme of Kansas City cut them dead in the Plaza one evening it was only that Mrs and Miss Hulme like most people abominated mirrors of their atavistic selves
Their new apartment for which they paid eightyfive dollars a month was situated on Claremont Avenue which is two blocks from the Hudson in the dim hundreds They had lived there a month when Muriel Kane came to see them late one afternoon
It was a reproachless twilight on the summer side of spring Anthony lay upon the lounge looking up One Hundred and Twentyseventh Street toward the river near which he could just see a single patch of vivid green trees that guaranteed the brummagem umbrageousness of Riverside Drive Across the water were the Palisades crowned by the ugly framework of the amusement park—yet soon it would be dusk and those same iron cobwebs would be a glory against the heavens an enchanted palace set over the smooth radiance of a tropical canal
The streets near the apartment Anthony had found were streets where children played—streets a little nicer than those he had been used to pass on his way to Marietta but of the same general sort with an occasional hand organ or hurdygurdy and in the cool of the evening many pairs of young girls walking down to the corner drugstore for ice cream soda and dreaming unlimited dreams under the low heavens
Dusk in the streets now and children playing shouting up incoherent ecstatic words that faded out close to the open window—and Muriel who had come to find Gloria chattering to him from an opaque gloom over across the room
Light the lamp why dont we she suggested Its getting ghostly in here
With a tired movement he arose and obeyed the gray windowpanes vanished He stretched himself He was heavier now his stomach was a limp weight against his belt his flesh had softened and expanded He was thirtytwo and his mind was a bleak and disordered wreck
Have a little drink Muriel
Not me thanks I dont use it anymore Whatre you doing these days
Anthony she asked curiously
Well Ive been pretty busy with this lawsuit he answered indifferently Its gone to the Court of Appeals—ought to be settled up one way or another by autumn Theres been some objection as to whether the Court of Appeals has jurisdiction over the matter
Muriel made a clicking sound with her tongue and cocked her head on one side
Well you tellem I never heard of anything taking so long
Oh they all do he replied listlessly all will cases They say its exceptional to have one settled under four or five years
Oh … Muriel daringly changed her tack why dont you go to work you laazy
At what he demanded abruptly
Why at anything I suppose Youre still a young man
If thats encouragement Im much obliged he answered dryly—and then with sudden weariness Does it bother you particularly that I dont want to work
It doesnt bother me—but it does bother a lot of people who claim—
Oh God he said brokenly it seems to me that for three years Ive heard nothing about myself but wild stories and virtuous admonitions Im tired of it If you dont want to see us let us alone I dont bother my former friends But I need no charity calls and no criticism disguised as good advice— Then he added apologetically Im sorry—but really Muriel you mustnt talk like a lady slumworker even if you are visiting the lower middle classes He turned his bloodshot eyes on her reproachfully—eyes that had once been a deep clear blue that were weak now strained and halfruined from reading when he was drunk
Why do you say such awful things she protested You talk as if you and Gloria were in the middle classes
Why pretend were not I hate people who claim to be great aristocrats when they cant even keep up the appearances of it
Do you think a person has to have money to be aristocratic
Muriel … the horrified democrat …
Why of course Aristocracys only an admission that certain traits which we call fine—courage and honor and beauty and all that sort of thing—can best be developed in a favorable environment where you dont have the warpings of ignorance and necessity
Muriel bit her lower lip and waved her head from side to side
Well all I say is that if a person comes from a good family theyre always nice people Thats the trouble with you and Gloria You think that just because things arent going your way right now all your old friends are trying to avoid you Youre too sensitive—
As a matter of fact said Anthony you know nothing at all about it With me its simply a matter of pride and for once Glorias reasonable enough to agree that we oughtnt go where were not wanted And people dont want us Were too much the ideal bad examples
Nonsense You cant park your pessimism in my little sun parlor I think you ought to forget all those morbid speculations and go to work
Here I am thirtytwo Suppose I did start in at some idiotic business Perhaps in two years I might rise to fifty dollars a week—with luck Thats if I could get a job at all theres an awful lot of unemployment Well suppose I made fifty a week Do you think Id be any happier Do you think that if I dont get this money of my grandfathers life will be endurable
Muriel smiled complacently
Well she said that may be clever but it isnt common sense
A few minutes later Gloria came in seeming to bring with her into the room some dark color indeterminate and rare In a taciturn way she was happy to see Muriel She greeted Anthony with a casual Hi
Ive been talking philosophy with your husband cried the irrepressible Miss Kane
We took up some fundamental concepts said Anthony a faint smile disturbing his pale cheeks paler still under two days growth of beard
Oblivious to his irony Muriel rehashed her contention When she had done Gloria said quietly
Anthonys right Its no fun to go around when you have the sense that people are looking at you in a certain way
He broke in plaintively
Dont you think that when even Maury Noble who was my best friend wont come to see us its high time to stop calling people up Tears were standing in his eyes
That was your fault about Maury Noble said Gloria coolly
It wasnt
It most certainly was
Muriel intervened quickly
I met a girl who knew Maury the other day and she says he doesnt drink any more Hes getting pretty cagey
Doesnt
Practically not at all Hes making piles of money Hes sort of changed since the war Hes going to marry a girl in Philadelphia who has millions Ceci Larrabee—anyhow thats what Town Tattle said
Hes thirtythree said Anthony thinking aloud But its odd to imagine his getting married I used to think he was so brilliant
He was murmured Gloria in a way
But brilliant people dont settle down in business—or do they Or what do they do Or what becomes of everybody you used to know and have so much in common with
You drift apart suggested Muriel with the appropriate dreamy look
They change said Gloria All the qualities that they dont use in their daily lives get cobwebbed up
The last thing he said to me recollected Anthony was that he was going to work so as to forget that there was nothing worth working for
Muriel caught at this quickly
Thats what you ought to do she exclaimed triumphantly Of course I shouldnt think anybody would want to work for nothing But itd give you something to do What do you do with yourselves anyway Nobody ever sees you at Montmartre or—or anywhere Are you economizing
Gloria laughed scornfully glancing at Anthony from the corners of her eyes
Well he demanded what are you laughing at You know what Im laughing at she answered coldly
At that case of whiskey
Yes—she turned to Muriel—he paid seventyfive dollars for a case of whiskey yesterday
What if I did Its cheaper that way than if you get it by the bottle
You neednt pretend that you wont drink any of it
At least I dont drink in the daytime
Thats a fine distinction he cried springing to his feet in a weak rage Whats more Ill be damned if you can hurl that at me every few minutes
Its true
It is not And Im getting sick of this eternal business of criticising me before visitors He had worked himself up to such a state that his arms and shoulders were visibly trembling Youd think everything was my fault Youd think you hadnt encouraged me to spend money—and spent a lot more on yourself than I ever did by a long shot
Now Gloria rose to her feet
I wont let you talk to me that way
All right then by Heaven you dont have to
In a sort of rush he left the room The two women heard his steps in the hall and then the front door banged Gloria sank back into her chair Her face was lovely in the lamplight composed inscrutable
Oh— cried Muriel in distress Oh what is the matter
Nothing particularly Hes just drunk
Drunk Why hes perfectly sober He talked——
Gloria shook her head
Oh no he doesnt show it any more unless he can hardly stand up and he talks all right until he gets excited He talks much better than he does when hes sober But hes been sitting here all day drinking—except for the time it took him to walk to the corner for a newspaper
Oh how terrible Muriel was sincerely moved Her eyes filled with tears Has this happened much
Drinking you mean
No this—leaving you
Oh yes Frequently Hell come in about midnight—and weep and ask me to forgive him
And do you
I dont know We just go on
The two women sat there in the lamplight and looked at each other each in a different way helpless before this thing Gloria was still pretty as pretty as she would ever be again—her cheeks were flushed and she was wearing a new dress that she had bought—imprudently—for fifty dollars She had hoped she could persuade Anthony to take her out tonight to a restaurant or even to one of the great gorgeous moving picture palaces where there would be a few people to look at her at whom she could bear to look in turn She wanted this because she knew her cheeks were flushed and because her dress was new and becomingly fragile Only very occasionally now did they receive any invitations But she did not tell these things to Muriel
Gloria dear I wish we could have dinner together but I promised a man and its seventhirty already Ive got to tear
Oh I couldnt anyway In the first place Ive been ill all day I couldnt eat a thing
After she had walked with Muriel to the door Gloria came back into the room turned out the lamp and leaning her elbows on the window sill looked out at Palisades Park where the brilliant revolving circle of the Ferris wheel was like a trembling mirror catching the yellow reflection of the moon The street was quiet now the children had gone in—over the way she could see a family at dinner Pointlessly ridiculously they rose and walked about the table seen thus all that they did appeared incongruous—it was as though they were being jiggled carelessly and to no purpose by invisible overhead wires
She looked at her watch—it was eight oclock She had been pleased for a part of the day—the early afternoon—in walking along that Broadway of Harlem One Hundred and Twentyfifth Street with her nostrils alert to many odors and her mind excited by the extraordinary beauty of some Italian children It affected her curiously—as Fifth Avenue had affected her once in the days when with the placid confidence of beauty she had known that it was all hers every shop and all it held every adult toy glittering in a window all hers for the asking Here on One Hundred and Twentyfifth Street there were Salvation Army bands and spectrumshawled old ladies on doorsteps and sugary sticky candy in the grimy hands of shinyhaired children—and the late sun striking down on the sides of the tall tenements All very rich and racy and savory like a dish by a provident French chef that one could not help enjoying even though one knew that the ingredients were probably leftovers…
Gloria shuddered suddenly as a river siren came moaning over the dusky roofs and leaning back in till the ghostly curtains fell from her shoulder she turned on the electric lamp It was growing late She knew there was some change in her purse and she considered whether she would go down and have some coffee and rolls where the liberated subway made a roaring cave of Manhattan Street or eat the devilled ham and bread in the kitchen Her purse decided for her It contained a nickel and two pennies
After an hour the silence of the room had grown unbearable and she found that her eyes were wandering from her magazine to the ceiling toward which she stared without thought Suddenly she stood up hesitated for a moment biting at her finger—then she went to the pantry took down a bottle of whiskey from the shelf and poured herself a drink She filled up the glass with ginger ale and returning to her chair finished an article in the magazine It concerned the last revolutionary widow who when a young girl had married an ancient veteran of the Continental Army and who had died in 1906 It seemed strange and oddly romantic to Gloria that she and this woman had been contemporaries
She turned a page and learned that a candidate for Congress was being accused of atheism by an opponent Glorias surprise vanished when she found that the charges were false The candidate had merely denied the miracle of the loaves and fishes He admitted under pressure that he gave full credence to the stroll upon the water
Finishing her first drink Gloria got herself a second After slipping on a negligée and making herself comfortable on the lounge she became conscious that she was miserable and that the tears were rolling down her cheeks She wondered if they were tears of selfpity and tried resolutely not to cry but this existence without hope without happiness oppressed her and she kept shaking her head from side to side her mouth drawn down tremulously in the corners as though she were denying an assertion made by some one somewhere She did not know that this gesture of hers was years older than history that for a hundred generations of men intolerable and persistent grief has offered that gesture of denial of protest of bewilderment to something more profound more powerful than the God made in the image of man and before which that God did he exist would be equally impotent It is a truth set at the heart of tragedy that this force never explains never answers—this force intangible as air more definite than death
RICHARD CARAMEL
Early in the summer Anthony resigned from his last club the Amsterdam He had come to visit it hardly twice a year and the dues were a recurrent burden He had joined it on his return from Italy because it had been his grandfathers club and his fathers and because it was a club that given the opportunity one indisputably joined—but as a matter of fact he had preferred the Harvard Club largely because of Dick and Maury However with the decline of his fortunes it had seemed an increasingly desirable bauble to cling to… It was relinquished at the last with some regret…
His companions numbered now a curious dozen Several of them he had met in a place called Sammys on Fortythird Street where if one knocked on the door and were favorably passed on from behind a grating one could sit around a great round table drinking fairly good whiskey It was here that he encountered a man named Parker Allison who had been exactly the wrong sort of rounder at Harvard and who was running through a large yeast fortune as rapidly as possible Parker Allisons notion of distinction consisted in driving a noisy redandyellow racingcar up Broadway with two glittering hardeyed girls beside him He was the sort who dined with two girls rather than with one—his imagination was almost incapable of sustaining a dialogue
Besides Allison there was Pete Lytell who wore a gray derby on the side of his head He always had money and he was customarily cheerful so Anthony held aimless longwinded conversation with him through many afternoons of the summer and fall Lytell he found not only talked but reasoned in phrases His philosophy was a series of them assimilated here and there through an active thoughtless life He had phrases about Socialism—the immemorial ones he had phrases pertaining to the existence of a personal deity—something about one time when he had been in a railroad accident and he had phrases about the Irish problem the sort of woman he respected and the futility of prohibition The only time his conversation ever rose superior to these muddled clauses with which he interpreted the most rococo happenings in a life that had been more than usually eventful was when he got down to the detailed discussion of his most animal existence he knew to a subtlety the foods the liquor and the women that he preferred
He was at once the commonest and the most remarkable product of civilization He was nine out of ten people that one passes on a city street—and he was a hairless ape with two dozen tricks He was the hero of a thousand romances of life and art—and he was a virtual moron performing staidly yet absurdly a series of complicated and infinitely astounding epics over a span of threescore years
With such men as these two Anthony Patch drank and discussed and drank and argued He liked them because they knew nothing about him because they lived in the obvious and had not the faintest conception of the inevitable continuity of life They sat not before a motion picture with consecutive reels but at a musty oldfashioned travelogue with all values stark and hence all implications confused Yet they themselves were not confused because there was nothing in them to be confused—they changed phrases from month to month as they changed neckties
Anthony the courteous the subtle the perspicacious was drunk each day—in Sammys with these men in the apartment over a book some book he knew and very rarely with Gloria who in his eyes had begun to develop the unmistakable outlines of a quarrelsome and unreasonable woman She was not the Gloria of old certainly—the Gloria who had she been sick would have preferred to inflict misery upon every one around her rather than confess that she needed sympathy or assistance She was not above whining now she was not above being sorry for herself Each night when she prepared for bed she smeared her face with some new unguent which she hoped illogically would give back the glow and freshness to her vanishing beauty When Anthony was drunk he taunted her about this When he was sober he was polite to her on occasions even tender he seemed to show for short hours a trace of that old quality of understanding too well to blame—that quality which was the best of him and had worked swiftly and ceaselessly toward his ruin
But he hated to be sober It made him conscious of the people around him of that air of struggle of greedy ambition of hope more sordid than despair of incessant passage up or down which in every metropolis is most in evidence through the unstable middle class Unable to live with the rich he thought that his next choice would have been to live with the very poor Anything was better than this cup of perspiration and tears
The sense of the enormous panorama of life never strong in Anthony had become dim almost to extinction At long intervals now some incident some gesture of Glorias would take his fancy—but the gray veils had come down in earnest upon him As he grew older those things faded—after that there was wine
There was a kindliness about intoxication—there was that indescribable gloss and glamour it gave like the memories of ephemeral and faded evenings After a few highballs there was magic in the tall glowing Arabian night of the Bush Terminal Building—its summit a peak of sheer grandeur gold and dreaming against the inaccessible sky And Wall Street the crass the banal—again it was the triumph of gold a gorgeous sentient spectacle it was where the great kings kept the money for their wars…
… The fruit of youth or of the grape the transitory magic of the brief passage from darkness to darkness—the old illusion that truth and beauty were in some way entwined
As he stood in front of Delmonicos lighting a cigarette one night he saw two hansoms drawn up close to the curb waiting for a chance drunken fare The outmoded cabs were worn and dirty—the cracked patent leather wrinkled like an old mans face the cushions faded to a brownish lavender the very horses were ancient and weary and so were the whitehaired men who sat aloft cracking their whips with a grotesque affectation of gallantry A relic of vanished gaiety
Anthony Patch walked away in a sudden fit of depression pondering the bitterness of such survivals There was nothing it seemed that grew stale so soon as pleasure
On Fortysecond Street one afternoon he met Richard Caramel for the first time in many months a prosperous fattening Richard Caramel whose face was filling out to match the Bostonian brow
Just got in this week from the coast Was going to call you up but I didnt know your new address
Weve moved
Richard Caramel noticed that Anthony was wearing a soiled shirt that his cuffs were slightly but perceptibly frayed that his eyes were set in halfmoons the color of cigar smoke
So I gathered he said fixing his friend with his brightyellow eye But where and how is Gloria My God Anthony Ive been hearing the doggonedest stories about you two even out in California—and when I get back to New York I find youve sunk absolutely out of sight Why dont you pull yourself together
Now listen chattered Anthony unsteadily I cant stand a long lecture Weve lost money in a dozen ways and naturally people have talked—on account of the lawsuit but the things coming to a final decision this winter surely—
Youre talking so fast that I cant understand you interrupted Dick calmly
Well Ive said all Im going to say snapped Anthony Come and see us if you like—or dont
With this he turned and started to walk off in the crowd but Dick overtook him immediately and grasped his arm
Say Anthony dont fly off the handle so easily You know Glorias my cousin and youre one of my oldest friends so its natural for me to be interested when I hear that youre going to the dogs—and taking her with you
I dont want to be preached to
Well then all right—How about coming up to my apartment and having a drink Ive just got settled Ive bought three cases of Gordon gin from a revenue officer
As they walked along he continued in a burst of exasperation
And how about your grandfathers money—you going to get it
Well answered Anthony resentfully that old fool Haight seems hopeful especially because people are tired of reformers right now—you know it might make a slight difference for instance if some judge thought that Adam Patch made it harder for him to get liquor
You cant do without money said Dick sententiously Have you tried to write any—lately
Anthony shook his head silently
Thats funny said Dick I always thought that you and Maury would write some day and now hes grown to be a sort of tightfisted aristocrat and youre—
Im the bad example
I wonder why
You probably think you know suggested Anthony with an effort at concentration The failure and the success both believe in their hearts that they have accurately balanced points of view the success because hes succeeded and the failure because hes failed The successful man tells his son to profit by his fathers good fortune and the failure tells his son to profit by his fathers mistakes
I dont agree with you said the author of A Shavetail in France I used to listen to you and Maury when we were young and I used to be impressed because you were so consistently cynical but now—well after all by God which of us three has taken to the—to the intellectual life I dont want to sound vainglorious but—its me and Ive always believed that moral values existed and I always will
Well objected Anthony who was rather enjoying himself even granting that you know that in practice life never presents problems as clear cut does it
It does to me Theres nothing Id violate certain principles for
But how do you know when youre violating them You have to guess at things just like most people do You have to apportion the values when you look back You finish up the portrait then—paint in the details and shadows
Dick shook his head with a lofty stubbornness Same old futile cynic he said Its just a mode of being sorry for yourself You dont do anything—so nothing matters
Oh Im quite capable of selfpity admitted Anthony nor am I claiming that Im getting as much fun out of life as you are
You say—at least you used to—that happiness is the only thing worth while in life Do you think youre any happier for being a pessimist
Anthony grunted savagely His pleasure in the conversation began to wane He was nervous and craving for a drink
My golly he cried where do you live I cant keep walking forever
Your endurance is all mental eh returned Dick sharply Well I live right here
He turned in at the apartment house on Fortyninth Street and a few minutes later they were in a large new room with an open fireplace and four walls lined with books A colored butler served them gin rickeys and an hour vanished politely with the mellow shortening of their drinks and the glow of a light midautumn fire
The arts are very old said Anthony after a while With a few glasses the tension of his nerves relaxed and he found that he could think again
Which art
All of them Poetry is dying first Itll be absorbed into prose sooner or later For instance the beautiful word the colored and glittering word and the beautiful simile belong in prose now To get attention poetry has got to strain for the unusual word the harsh earthy word thats never been beautiful before Beauty as the sum of several beautiful parts reached its apotheosis in Swinburne It cant go any further—except in the novel perhaps
Dick interrupted him impatiently
You know these new novels make me tired My God Everywhere I go some silly girl asks me if Ive read This Side of Paradise Are our girls really like that If its true to life which I dont believe the next generation is going to the dogs Im sick of all this shoddy realism I think theres a place for the romanticist in literature
Anthony tried to remember what he had read lately of Richard Caramels There was A Shavetail in France a novel called The Land of Strong Men and several dozen short stories which were even worse It had become the custom among young and clever reviewers to mention Richard Caramel with a smile of scorn Mr Richard Caramel they called him His corpse was dragged obscenely through every literary supplement He was accused of making a great fortune by writing trash for the movies As the fashion in books shifted he was becoming almost a byword of contempt
While Anthony was thinking this Dick had got to his feet and seemed to be hesitating at an avowal
Ive gathered quite a few books he said suddenly
So I see
Ive made an exhaustive collection of good American stuff old and new I dont mean the usual LongfellowWhittier thing—in fact most of its modern
He stepped to one of the walls and seeing that it was expected of him
Anthony arose and followed
Look
Under a printed tag Americana he displayed six long rows of books beautifully bound and obviously carefully chosen
And here are the contemporary novelists
Then Anthony saw the joker Wedged in between Mark Twain and Dreiser were eight strange and inappropriate volumes the works of Richard Caramel—The Demon Lover true enough … but also seven others that were execrably awful without sincerity or grace
Unwillingly Anthony glanced at Dicks face and caught a slight uncertainty there
Ive put my own books in of course said Richard Caramel hastily though one or two of them are uneven—Im afraid I wrote a little too fast when I had that magazine contract But I dont believe in false modesty Of course some of the critics havent paid so much attention to me since Ive been established—but after all its not the critics that count Theyre just sheep
For the first time in so long that he could scarcely remember Anthony felt a touch of the old pleasant contempt for his friend Richard Caramel continued
My publishers you know have been advertising me as the Thackeray of
America—because of my New York novel
Yes Anthony managed to muster I suppose theres a good deal in what you say
He knew that his contempt was unreasonable He knew that he would have changed places with Dick unhesitatingly He himself had tried his best to write with his tongue in his cheek Ah well then—can a man disparage his lifework so readily …
—And that night while Richard Caramel was hard at toil with great hittings of the wrong keys and screwings up of his weary unmatched eyes laboring over his trash far into those cheerless hours when the fire dies down and the head is swimming from the effect of prolonged concentration—Anthony abominably drunk was sprawled across the back seat of a taxi on his way to the flat on Claremont Avenue
THE BEATING
As winter approached it seemed that a sort of madness seized upon Anthony He awoke in the morning so nervous that Gloria could feel him trembling in the bed before he could muster enough vitality to stumble into the pantry for a drink He was intolerable now except under the influence of liquor and as he seemed to decay and coarsen under her eyes Glorias soul and body shrank away from him when he stayed out all night as he did several times she not only failed to be sorry but even felt a measure of relief Next day he would be faintly repentant and would remark in a gruff hangdog fashion that he guessed he was drinking a little too much
For hours at a time he would sit in the great armchair that had been in his apartment lost in a sort of stupor—even his interest in reading his favorite books seemed to have departed and though an incessant bickering went on between husband and wife the one subject upon which they ever really conversed was the progress of the will case What Gloria hoped in the tenebrous depths of her soul what she expected that great gift of money to bring about is difficult to imagine She was being bent by her environment into a grotesque similitude of a housewife She who until three years before had never made coffee prepared sometimes three meals a day She walked a great deal in the afternoons and in the evenings she read—books magazines anything she found at hand If now she wished for a child even a child of the Anthony who sought her bed blind drunk she neither said so nor gave any show or sign of interest in children It is doubtful if she could have made it clear to any one what it was she wanted or indeed what there was to want—a lonely lovely woman thirty now retrenched behind some impregnable inhibition born and coexistent with her beauty
One afternoon when the snow was dirty again along Riverside Drive Gloria who had been to the grocers entered the apartment to find Anthony pacing the floor in a state of aggravated nervousness The feverish eyes he turned on her were traced with tiny pink lines that reminded her of rivers on a map For a moment she received the impression that he was suddenly and definitely old
Have you any money he inquired of her precipitately
What What do you mean
Just what I said Money Money Cant you speak English
She paid no attention but brushed by him and into the pantry to put the bacon and eggs in the icebox When his drinking had been unusually excessive he was invariably in a whining mood This time he followed her and standing in the pantry door persisted in his question
You heard what I said Have you any money
She turned about from the icebox and faced him
Why Anthony you must be crazy You know I havent any money—except a dollar in change
He executed an abrupt aboutface and returned to the living room where he renewed his pacing It was evident that he had something portentous on his mind—he quite obviously wanted to be asked what was the matter Joining him a moment later she sat upon the long lounge and began taking down her hair It was no longer bobbed and it had changed in the last year from a rich gold dusted with red to an unresplendent light brown She had bought some shampoo soap and meant to wash it now she had considered putting a bottle of peroxide into the rinsing water
—Well she implied silently
That darn bank he quavered Theyve had my account for over ten years—ten years Well it seems theyve got some autocratic rule that you have to keep over five hundred dollars there or they wont carry you They wrote me a letter a few months ago and told me Id been running too low Once I gave out two bum checks—remember that night in Reisenwebers—but I made them good the very next day Well I promised old Halloran—hes the manager the greedy Mick—that Id watch out And I thought I was going all right I kept up the stubs in my checkbook pretty regular Well I went in there today to cash a check and Halloran came up and told me theyd have to close my account Too many bad checks he said and I never had more than five hundred to my credit—and that only for a day or so at a time And by God What do you think he said then
What
He said this was a good time to do it because I didnt have a damn penny in there
You didnt
Thats what he told me Seems Id given these Bedros people a check for sixty for that last case of liquor—and I only had fortyfive dollars in the bank Well the Bedros people deposited fifteen dollars to my account and drew the whole thing out
In her ignorance Gloria conjured up a spectre of imprisonment and disgrace
Oh they wont do anything he assured her Bootleggings too risky a business Theyll send me a bill for fifteen dollars and Ill pay it
Oh She considered a moment —Well we can sell another bond
He laughed sarcastically
Oh yes thats always easy When the few bonds we have that are paying any interest at all are only worth between fifty and eighty cents on the dollar We lose about half the bond every time we sell
What else can we do
Oh well sell something—as usual Weve got paper worth eighty thousand dollars at par Again he laughed unpleasantly Bring about thirty thousand on the open market
I distrusted those ten per cent investments
The deuce you did he said You pretended you did so you could claw at me if they went to pieces but you wanted to take a chance as much as I did
She was silent for a moment as if considering then
Anthony she cried suddenly two hundred a month is worse than nothing Lets sell all the bonds and put the thirty thousand dollars in the bank—and if we lose the case we can live in Italy for three years and then just die In her excitement as she talked she was aware of a faint flush of sentiment the first she had felt in many days
Three years he said nervously three years Youre crazy Mr Haightll take more than that if we lose Do you think hes working for charity
I forgot that
—And here it is Saturday he continued and Ive only got a dollar and some change and weve got to live till Monday when I can get to my brokers… And not a drink in the house he added as a significant afterthought
Cant you call up Dick
I did His man says hes gone down to Princeton to address a literary club or some such thing Wont be back till Monday
Well lets see—Dont you know some friend you might go to
I tried a couple of fellows Couldnt find anybody in I wish Id sold that Keats letter like I started to last week
How about those men you play cards with in that Sammy place
Do you think Id ask them His voice rang with righteous horror
Gloria winced He would rather contemplate her active discomfort than
feel his own skin crawl at asking an inappropriate favor I thought of
Muriel he suggested
Shes in California
Well how about some of those men who gave you such a good time while I was in the army Youd think they might be glad to do a little favor for you
She looked at him contemptuously but he took no notice
Or how about your old friend Rachael—or Constance Merriam
Constance Merriams been dead a year and I wouldnt ask Rachael
Well how about that gentleman who was so anxious to help you once that he could hardly restrain himself Bloeckman
Oh— He had hurt her at last and he was not too obtuse or too careless to perceive it
Why not him he insisted callously
Because—he doesnt like me any more she said with difficulty and then as he did not answer but only regarded her cynically If you want to know why Ill tell you A year ago I went to Bloeckman—hes changed his name to Black—and asked him to put me into pictures
You went to Bloeckman
Yes
Why didnt you tell me he demanded incredulously the smile fading from his face
Because you were probably off drinking somewhere He had them give me a test and they decided that I wasnt young enough for anything except a character part
A character part
The woman of thirty sort of thing I wasnt thirty and I didnt think I—looked thirty
Why damn him cried Anthony championing her violently with a curious perverseness of emotion why—
Well thats why I cant go to him
Why the insolence insisted Anthony nervously the insolence
Anthony that doesnt matter now the thing is weve got to live over Sunday and theres nothing in the house but a loaf of bread and a halfpound of bacon and two eggs for breakfast She handed him the contents of her purse Theres seventy eighty a dollar fifteen With what you have that makes about two and a half altogether doesnt it Anthony we can get along on that We can buy lots of food with that—more than we can possibly eat
Jingling the change in his hand he shook his head No Ive got to have a drink Im so darn nervous that Im shivering A thought struck him Perhaps Sammyd cash a check And then Monday I could rush down to the bank with the money But theyve closed your account
Thats right thats right—Id forgotten Ill tell you what Ill go down to Sammys and Ill find somebody there wholl lend me something I hate like the devil to ask them though… He snapped his fingers suddenly I know what Ill do Ill hock my watch I can get twenty dollars on it and get it back Monday for sixty cents extra Its been hocked before—when I was at Cambridge
He had put on his overcoat and with a brief goodby he started down the hall toward the outer door
Gloria got to her feet It had suddenly occurred to her where he would probably go first
Anthony she called after him hadnt you better leave two dollars with me Youll only need carfare
The outer door slammed—he had pretended not to hear her She stood for a moment looking after him then she went into the bathroom among her tragic unguents and began preparations for washing her hair
Down at Sammys he found Parker Allison and Pete Lytell sitting alone at a table drinking whiskey sours It was just after six oclock and Sammy or Samuele Bendiri as he had been christened was sweeping an accumulation of cigarette butts and broken glass into a corner
Hi Tony called Parker Allison to Anthony Sometimes he addressed him as Tony at other times it was Dan To him all Anthonys must sail under one of these diminutives
Sit down Whatll you have
On the subway Anthony had counted his money and found that he had almost four dollars He could pay for two rounds at fifty cents a drink—which meant that he would have six drinks Then he would go over to Sixth Avenue and get twenty dollars and a pawn ticket in exchange for his watch
Well roughnecks he said jovially hows the life of crime
Pretty good said Allison He winked at Pete Lytell Too bad youre a married man Weve got some pretty good stuff lined up for about eleven oclock when the shows let out Oh boy Yes sir—too bad hes married—isnt it Pete
Sa shame
At half past seven when they had completed the six rounds Anthony found that his intentions were giving audience to his desires He was happy and cheerful now—thoroughly enjoying himself It seemed to him that the story which Pete had just finished telling was unusually and profoundly humorous—and he decided as he did every day at about this point that they were damn good fellows by golly who would do a lot more for him than any one else he knew The pawnshops would remain open until late Saturday nights and he felt that if he took just one more drink he would attain a gorgeous rosecolored exhilaration
Artfully he fished in his vest pockets brought up his two quarters and stared at them as though in surprise
Well Ill be darned he protested in an aggrieved tone here Ive come out without my pocketbook
Need some cash asked Lytell easily
I left my money on the dresser at home And I wanted to buy you another drink
Oh—knock it Lytell waved the suggestion away disparagingly I guess we can blow a good fella to all the drinks he wants Whatll you have—same
I tell you suggested Parker Allison suppose we send Sammy across the street for some sandwiches and eat dinner here
The other two agreed
Good idea
Hey Sammy wantcha do somepm for us…
Just after nine oclock Anthony staggered to his feet and bidding them a thick good night walked unsteadily to the door handing Sammy one of his two quarters as he passed out Once in the street he hesitated uncertainly and then started in the direction of Sixth Avenue where he remembered to have frequently passed several loan offices He went by a newsstand and two drugstores—and then he realized that he was standing in front of the place which he sought and that it was shut and barred Unperturbed he continued another one half a block down was also closed—so were two more across the street and a fifth in the square below Seeing a faint light in the last one he began to knock on the glass door he desisted only when a watchman appeared in the back of the shop and motioned him angrily to move on With growing discouragement with growing befuddlement he crossed the street and walked back toward Fortythird On the corner near Sammys he paused undecided—if he went back to the apartment as he felt his body required he would lay himself open to bitter reproach yet now that the pawnshops were closed he had no notion where to get the money He decided finally that he might ask Parker Allison after all—but he approached Sammys only to find the door locked and the lights out He looked at his watch ninethirty He began walking
Ten minutes later he stopped aimlessly at the corner of Fortythird Street and Madison Avenue diagonally across from the bright but nearly deserted entrance to the Biltmore Hotel Here he stood for a moment and then sat down heavily on a damp board amid some debris of construction work He rested there for almost half an hour his mind a shifting pattern of surface thoughts chiefest among which were that he must obtain some money and get home before he became too sodden to find his way
Then glancing over toward the Biltmore he saw a man standing directly under the overhead glow of the portecochère lamps beside a woman in an ermine coat As Anthony watched the couple moved forward and signalled to a taxi Anthony perceived by the infallible identification that lurks in the walk of a friend that it was Maury Noble
He rose to his feet
Maury he shouted
Maury looked in his direction then turned back to the girl just as the
taxi came up into place With the chaotic idea of borrowing ten dollars
Anthony began to run as fast as he could across Madison Avenue and along
Fortythird Street
As he came up Maury was standing beside the yawning door of the taxicab
His companion turned and looked curiously at Anthony
Hello Maury he said holding out his hand How are you
Fine thank you
Their hands dropped and Anthony hesitated Maury made no move to introduce him but only stood there regarding him with an inscrutable feline silence
I wanted to see you— began Anthony uncertainly He did not feel that he could ask for a loan with the girl not four feet away so he broke off and made a perceptible motion of his head as if to beckon Maury to one side
Im in rather a big hurry Anthony
I know—but can you can you— Again he hesitated
Ill see you some other time said Maury Its important
Im sorry Anthony
Before Anthony could make up his mind to blurt out his request Maury had turned coolly to the girl helped her into the car and with a polite good evening stepped in after her As he nodded from the window it seemed to Anthony that his expression had not changed by a shade or a hair Then with a fretful clatter the taxi moved off and Anthony was left standing there alone under the lights
Anthony went on into the Biltmore for no reason in particular except that the entrance was at hand and ascending the wide stair found a seat in an alcove He was furiously aware that he had been snubbed he was as hurt and angry as it was possible for him to be when in that condition Nevertheless he was stubbornly preoccupied with the necessity of obtaining some money before he went home and once again he told over on his fingers the acquaintances he might conceivably call on in this emergency He thought eventually that he might approach Mr Howland his broker at his home
After a long wait he found that Mr Howland was out He returned to the operator leaning over her desk and fingering his quarter as though loath to leave unsatisfied
Call Mr Bloeckman he said suddenly His own words surprised him The name had come from some crossing of two suggestions in his mind
Whats the number please
Scarcely conscious of what he did Anthony looked up Joseph Bloeckman in the telephone directory He could find no such person and was about to close the book when it flashed into his mind that Gloria had mentioned a change of name It was the matter of a minute to find Joseph Black—then he waited in the booth while central called the number
Helloo Mr Bloeckman—I mean Mr Black in
No hes out this evening Is there any message The intonation was cockney it reminded him of the rich vocal deferences of Bounds
Where is he
Why ah who is this please sir
This Mr Patch Matter of vial importance Why hes with a party at the Boul Mich sir Thanks
Anthony got his five cents change and started for the Boul Mich a popular dancing resort on Fortyfifth Street It was nearly ten but the streets were dark and sparsely peopled until the theatres should eject their spawn an hour later Anthony knew the Boul Mich for he had been there with Gloria during the year before and he remembered the existence of a rule that patrons must be in evening dress Well he would not go upstairs—he would send a boy up for Bloeckman and wait for him in the lower hall For a moment he did not doubt that the whole project was entirely natural and graceful To his distorted imagination Bloeckman had become simply one of his old friends
The entrance hall of the Boul Mich was warm There were high yellow lights over a thick green carpet from the centre of which a white stairway rose to the dancing floor
Anthony spoke to the hallboy
I want to see Mr Bloeckman—Mr Black he said Hes upstairs—have him paged
The boy shook his head
Sagainsa rules to have him paged You know what table hes at
No But Ive got see him
Wait an Ill getcha waiter
After a short interval a head waiter appeared bearing a card on which were charted the table reservations He darted a cynical look at Anthony—which however failed of its target Together they bent over the cardboard and found the table without difficulty—a party of eight Mr Blacks own
Tell him Mr Patch Very very important
Again he waited leaning against the banister and listening to the confused harmonies of Jazzmad which came floating down the stairs A checkgirl near him was singing
Out in—the shimmee sanitarium
The jazzmad nuts reside
Out in—the shimmee sanitarium
I left my blushing bride
She went and shook herself insane
So let her shiver back again—
Then he saw Bloeckman descending the staircase and took a step forward to meet him and shake hands
You wanted to see me said the older man coolly
Yes answered Anthony nodding personal matter Can you jus step over here
Regarding him narrowly Bloeckman followed Anthony to a half bend made by the staircase where they were beyond observation or earshot of any one entering or leaving the restaurant
Well he inquired
Wanted talk to you
What about
Anthony only laughed—a silly laugh he intended it to sound casual
What do you want to talk to me about repeated Bloeckman
Whas hurry old man He tried to lay his hand in a friendly gesture upon Bloeckmans shoulder but the latter drew away slightly Howve been
Very well thanks… See here Mr Patch Ive got a party upstairs Theyll think its rude if I stay away too long What was it you wanted to see me about
For the second time that evening Anthonys mind made an abrupt jump and what he said was not at all what he had intended to say
Unerstand you kep my wife out of the movies What Bloeckmans ruddy face darkened in parallel planes of shadows
You heard me
Look here Mr Patch said Bloeckman evenly and without changing his expression youre drunk Youre disgustingly and insultingly drunk
Not too drunk talk to you insisted Anthony with a leer Firs place my wife wants nothin whatever do with you Never did Unerstand me
Be quiet said the older man angrily I should think youd respect your wife enough not to bring her into the conversation under these circumstances
Never you min how I expect my wife One thing—you leave her alone
You go to hell
See here—I think youre a little crazy exclaimed Bloeckman He took two paces forward as though to pass by but Anthony stepped in his way
Not so fas you Goddam Jew
For a moment they stood regarding each other Anthony swaying gently from side to side Bloeckman almost trembling with fury
Be careful he cried in a strained voice
Anthony might have remembered then a certain look Bloeckman had given him in the Biltmore Hotel years before But he remembered nothing nothing——
Ill say it again you God——
Then Bloeckman struck out with all the strength in the arm of a wellconditioned man of fortyfive struck out and caught Anthony squarely in the mouth Anthony cracked up against the staircase recovered himself and made a wild drunken swing at his opponent but Bloeckman who took exercise every day and knew something of sparring blocked it with ease and struck him twice in the face with two swift smashing jabs Anthony gave a little grunt and toppled over onto the green plush carpet finding as he fell that his mouth was full of blood and seemed oddly loose in front He struggled to his feet panting and spitting and then as he started toward Bloeckman who stood a few feet away his fists clenched but not up two waiters who had appeared from nowhere seized his arms and held him helpless In back of them a dozen people had miraculously gathered
Ill kill him cried Anthony pitching and straining from side to side Let me kill——
Throw him out ordered Bloeckman excitedly just as a small man with a pockmarked face pushed his way hurriedly through the spectators
Any trouble Mr Black
This bum tried to blackmail me said Bloeckman and then his voice rising to a faintly shrill note of pride He got what was coming to him
The little man turned to a waiter
Call a policeman he commanded
Oh no said Bloeckman quickly I cant be bothered Just throw him out in the street… Ugh What an outrage He turned and with conscious dignity walked toward the washroom just as six brawny hands seized upon Anthony and dragged him toward the door The bum was propelled violently to the sidewalk where he landed on his hands and knees with a grotesque slapping sound and rolled over slowly onto his side
The shock stunned him He lay there for a moment in acute distributed pain Then his discomfort became centralized in his stomach and he regained consciousness to discover that a large foot was prodding him
Youve got to move on y bum Move on
It was the bulky doorman speaking A town car had stopped at the curb and its occupants had disembarked—that is two of the women were standing on the dashboard waiting in offended delicacy until this obscene obstacle should be removed from their path
Move on Or else Ill throw yon
Here—Ill get him
This was a new voice Anthony imagined that it was somehow more tolerant better disposed than the first Again arms were about him half lifting half dragging him into a welcome shadow four doors up the street and propping him against the stone front of a millinery shop
Much obliged muttered Anthony feebly Some one pushed his soft hat down upon his head and he winced
Just sit still buddy and youll feel better Those guys sure give you a bump
Im going back and kill that dirty— He tried to get to his feet but collapsed backward against the wall
You cant do nothin now came the voice Get em some other time
Im tellin you straight aint I Im helpin you
Anthony nodded
An you better go home You dropped a tooth tonight buddy You know that
Anthony explored his mouth with his tongue verifying the statement
Then with an effort he raised his hand and located the gap
Im agoin to get you home friend Whereabouts do you live—
Oh by God By God interrupted Anthony clenching his fists passionately Ill show the dirty bunch You help me show em and Ill fix it with you My grandfathers Adam Patch of Tarrytown—
Who
Adam Patch by God
You wanna go all the way to Tarrytown
No
Well you tell me where to go friend and Ill get a cab
Anthony made out that his Samaritan was a short broadshouldered individual somewhat the worse for wear
Where dyou live hey
Sodden and shaken as he was Anthony felt that his address would be poor collateral for his wild boast about his grandfather
Get me a cab he commanded feeling in his pockets
A taxi drove up Again Anthony essayed to rise but his ankle swung loose as though it were in two sections The Samaritan must needs help him in—and climb in after him
See here fella said he youre soused and youre bunged up and you wont be able to get in your house less somebody carries you in so Im going with you and I know youll make it all right with me Where dyou live
With some reluctance Anthony gave his address Then as the cab moved off he leaned his head against the mans shoulder and went into a shadowy painful torpor When he awoke the man had lifted him from the cab in front of the apartment on Claremont Avenue and was trying to set him on his feet
Can y walk
Yes—sort of You better not come in with me Again he felt helplessly in his pockets Say he continued apologetically swaying dangerously on his feet Im afraid I havent got a cent
Huh
Im cleaned out
Saaay Didnt I hear you promise youd fix it with me Whos goin to pay the taxi bill He turned to the driver for confirmation Didnt you hear him say hed fix it All that about his grandfather
Matter of fact muttered Anthony imprudently it was you did all the talking however if you come round tomorrow—
At this point the taxidriver leaned from his cab and said ferociously
Ah poke him one the dirty cheap skate If he wasnt a bum they wouldnta throwed him out
In answer to this suggestion the fist of the Samaritan shot out like a batteringram and sent Anthony crashing down against the stone steps of the apartmenthouse where he lay without movement while the tall buildings rocked to and fro above him…
After a long while he awoke and was conscious that it had grown much colder He tried to move himself but his muscles refused to function He was curiously anxious to know the time but he reached for his watch only to find the pocket empty Involuntarily his lips formed an immemorial phrase
What a night
Strangely enough he was almost sober Without moving his head he looked up to where the moon was anchored in midsky shedding light down into Claremont Avenue as into the bottom of a deep and uncharted abyss There was no sign or sound of life save for the continuous buzzing in his own ears but after a moment Anthony himself broke the silence with a distinct and peculiar murmur It was the sound that he had consistently attempted to make back there in the Boul Mich when he had been face to face with Bloeckman—the unmistakable sound of ironic laughter And on his torn and bleeding lips it was like a pitiful retching of the soul
Three weeks later the trial came to an end The seemingly endless spool of legal red tape having unrolled over a period of four and a half years suddenly snapped off Anthony and Gloria and on the other side Edward Shuttleworth and a platoon of beneficiaries testified and lied and illbehaved generally in varying degrees of greed and desperation Anthony awoke one morning in March realizing that the verdict was to be given at four that afternoon and at the thought he got up out of his bed and began to dress With his extreme nervousness there was mingled an unjustified optimism as to the outcome He believed that the decision of the lower court would be reversed if only because of the reaction due to excessive prohibition that had recently set in against reforms and reformers He counted more on the personal attacks that they had levelled at Shuttleworth than on the more sheerly legal aspects of the proceedings
Dressed he poured himself a drink of whiskey and then went into Glorias room where he found her already wide awake She had been in bed for a week humoring herself Anthony fancied though the doctor had said that she had best not be disturbed
Good morning she murmured without smiling Her eyes seemed unusually large and dark
How do you feel he asked grudgingly Better
Yes
Much
Yes
Do you feel well enough to go down to court with me this afternoon
She nodded
Yes I want to Dick said yesterday that if the weather was nice he was coming up in his car and take me for a ride in Central Park—and look the rooms all full of sunshine
Anthony glanced mechanically out the window and then sat down upon the bed
God Im nervous he exclaimed
Please dont sit there she said quickly
Why not
You smell of whiskey I cant stand it
He got up absentmindedly and left the room A little later she called to him and he went out and brought her some potato salad and cold chicken from the delicatessen
At two oclock Richard Caramels car arrived at the door and when he phoned up Anthony took Gloria down in the elevator and walked with her to the curb
She told her cousin that it was sweet of him to take her riding Dont be simple Dick replied disparagingly Its nothing
But he did not mean that it was nothing and this was a curious thing Richard Caramel had forgiven many people for many offenses But he had never forgiven his cousin Gloria Gilbert for a statement she had made just prior to her wedding seven years before She had said that she did not intend to read his book
Richard Caramel remembered this—he had remembered it well for seven years
What time will I expect you back asked Anthony
We wont come back she answered well meet you down there at four
All right he muttered Ill meet you
Upstairs he found a letter waiting for him It was a mimeographed notice urging the boys in condescendingly colloquial language to pay the dues of the American Legion He threw it impatiently into the wastebasket and sat down with his elbows on the window sill looking down blindly into the sunny street
Italy—if the verdict was in their favor it meant Italy The word had become a sort of talisman to him a land where the intolerable anxieties of life would fall away like an old garment They would go to the wateringplaces first and among the bright and colorful crowds forget the gray appendages of despair Marvellously renewed he would walk again in the Piazza di Spanga at twilight moving in that drifting flotsam of dark women and ragged beggars of austere barefooted friars The thought of Italian women stirred him faintly—when his purse hung heavy again even romance might fly back to perch upon it—the romance of blue canals in Venice of the golden green hills of Fiesole after rain and of women women who changed dissolved melted into other women and receded from his life but who were always beautiful and always young
But it seemed to him that there should be a difference in his attitude All the distress that he had ever known the sorrow and the pain had been because of women It was something that in different ways they did to him unconsciously almost casually—perhaps finding him tenderminded and afraid they killed the things in him that menaced their absolute sway
Turning about from the window he faced his reflection in the mirror contemplating dejectedly the wan pasty face the eyes with their crisscross of lines like shreds of dried blood the stooped and flabby figure whose very sag was a document in lethargy He was thirty three—he looked forty Well things would be different
The doorbell rang abruptly and he started as though he had been dealt a blow Recovering himself he went into the hall and opened the outer dour It was Dot
THE ENCOUNTER
He retreated before her into the living room comprehending only a word here and there in the slow flood of sentences that poured from her steadily one after the other in a persistent monotone She was decently and shabbily dressed—a somehow pitiable little hat adorned with pink and blue flowers covered and hid her dark hair He gathered from her words that several days before she had seen an item in the paper concerning the lawsuit and had obtained his address from the clerk of the Appellate Division She had called up the apartment and had been told that Anthony was out by a woman to whom she had refused to give her name
In a living room he stood by the door regarding her with a sort of stupefied horror as she rattled on… His predominant sensation was that all the civilization and convention around him was curiously unreal… She was in a milliners shop on Sixth Avenue she said It was a lonesome life She had been sick for a long while after he left for Camp Mills her mother had come down and taken her home again to Carolina… She had come to New York with the idea of finding Anthony
She was appallingly in earnest Her violet eyes were red with tears her soft intonation was ragged with little gasping sobs
That was all She had never changed She wanted him now and if she couldnt have him she must die…
Youll have to get out he said at length speaking with tortuous intensity Havent I enough to worry me now without you coming here My God Youll have to get out
Sobbing she sat down in a chair
I love you she cried I dont care what you say to me I love you
I dont care he almost shrieked get out—oh get out Havent you done me harm enough Havent—you—done—enough
Hit me she implored him—wildly stupidly Oh hit me and Ill kiss the hand you hit me with
His voice rose until it was pitched almost at a scream Ill kill you he cried If you dont get out Ill kill you Ill kill you
There was madness in his eyes now but unintimidated Dot rose and took a step toward him
Anthony Anthony—
He made a little clicking sound with his teeth and drew back as though to spring at her—then changing his purpose he looked wildly about him on the floor and wall
Ill kill you he was muttering in short broken gasps Ill kill you He seemed to bite at the word as though to force it into materialization Alarmed at last she made no further movement forward but meeting his frantic eyes took a step back toward the door Anthony began to race here and there on his side of the room still giving out his single cursing cry Then he found what he had been seeking—a stiff oaken chair that stood beside the table Uttering a harsh broken shout he seized it swung it above his head and let it go with all his raging strength straight at the white frightened face across the room … then a thick impenetrable darkness came down upon him and blotted out thought rage and madness together—with almost a tangible snapping sound the face of the world changed before his eyes…
Gloria and Dick came in at five and called his name There was no answer—they went into the living room and found a chair with its back smashed lying in the doorway and they noticed that all about the room there was a sort of disorder—the rugs had slid the pictures and bricàbrac were upset upon the centre table The air was sickly sweet with cheap perfume
They found Anthony sitting in a patch of sunshine on the floor of his bedroom Before him open were spread his three big stampbooks and when they entered he was running his hands through a great pile of stamps that he had dumped from the back of one of them Looking up and seeing Dick and Gloria he put his head critically on one side and motioned them back
Anthony cried Gloria tensely weve won They reversed the decision
Dont come in he murmured wanly youll muss them Im sorting and
I know youll step in them Everything always gets mussed
What are you doing demanded Dick in astonishment Going back to childhood Dont you realize youve won the suit Theyve reversed the decision of the lower courts Youre worth thirty millions
Anthony only looked at him reproachfully
Shut the door when you go out He spoke like a pert child
With a faint horror dawning in her eyes Gloria gazed at him—
Anthony she cried what is it Whats the matter Why didnt you come—why what is it
See here said Anthony softly you two get out—now both of you Or else Ill tell my grandfather
He held up a handful of stamps and let them come drifting down about him like leaves varicolored and bright turning and fluttering gaudily upon the sunny air stamps of England and Ecuador Venezuela and Spain—Italy…
TOGETHER WITH THE SPARROWS
That exquisite heavenly irony which has tabulated the demise of so many generations of sparrows doubtless records the subtlest verbal inflections of the passengers of such ships as The Berengaria And doubtless it was listening when the young man in the plaid cap crossed the deck quickly and spoke to the pretty girl in yellow
Thats him he said pointing to a bundled figure seated in a wheel chair near the rail Thats Anthony Patch First time hes been on deck
Oh—thats him
Yes Hes been a little crazy they say ever since he got his money four or five months ago You see the other fellow Shuttleworth the religious fellow the one that didnt get the money he locked himself up in a room in a hotel and shot himself—
Oh he did—
But I guess Anthony Patch dont care much He got his thirty million And hes got his private physician along in case he doesnt feel just right about it Has she been on deck he asked
The pretty girl in yellow looked around cautiously
She was here a minute ago She had on a Russiansable coat that must have cost a small fortune She frowned and then added decisively I cant stand her you know She seems sort of—sort of dyed and unclean if you know what I mean Some people just have that look about them whether they are or not
Sure I know agreed the man with the plaid cap Shes not badlooking though He paused Wonder what hes thinking about—his money I guess or maybe hes got remorse about that fellow Shuttleworth
Probably…
But the man in the plaid cap was quite wrong Anthony Patch sitting near the rail and looking out at the sea was not thinking of his money for he had seldom in his life been really preoccupied with material vainglory nor of Edward Shuttleworth for it is best to look on the sunny side of these things No—he was concerned with a series of reminiscences much as a general might look back upon a successful campaign and analyze his victories He was thinking of the hardships the insufferable tribulations he had gone through They had tried to penalize him for the mistakes of his youth He had been exposed to ruthless misery his very craving for romance had been punished his friends had deserted him—even Gloria had turned against him He had been alone alone—facing it all
Only a few months before people had been urging him to give in to submit to mediocrity to go to work But he had known that he was justified in his way of life—and he had stuck it out stanchly Why the very friends who had been most unkind had come to respect him to know he had been right all along Had not the Lacys and the Merediths and the CartwrightSmiths called on Gloria and him at the RitzCarlton just a week before they sailed
Great tears stood in his eyes and his voice was tremulous as he whispered to himself
I showed them he was saying It was a hard fight but I didnt give up and I came through