George Robert Gissing
New Grub Street
A Novel
Chapter 1
A Man of His Day
As the Milvains sat down to breakfast the clock of Wattleborough parish church
struck eight it was two miles away but the strokes were borne very distinctly
on the west wind this autumn morning Jasper listening before he cracked an
egg remarked with cheerfulness
»Theres a man being hanged in London at this moment«
»Surely it isnt necessary to let us know that« said his sister Maud
coldly
»And in such a tone too« protested his sister Dora
»Who is it« inquired Mrs Milvain looking at her son with pained forehead
»I dont know It happened to catch my eye in the paper yesterday that
someone was to be hanged at Newgate this morning Theres a certain satisfaction
in reflecting that it is not oneself«
»Thats your selfish way of looking at things« said Maud
»Well« returned Jasper »seeing that the fact came into my head what
better use could I make of it I could curse the brutality of an age that
sanctioned such things or I could grow doleful over the misery of the poor
fellow But those emotions would be as little profitable to others as to myself
It just happened that I saw the thing in a light of consolation Things are bad
with me but not so bad as that I might be going out between Jack Ketch and the
Chaplain to be hanged instead of that I am eating a really fresh egg and very
excellent buttered toast with coffee as good as can be reasonably expected in
this part of the world Do try boiling the milk mother The tone in which
I spoke was spontaneous being so it needs no justification«
He was a young man of fiveandtwenty well built though a trifle meagre
and of pale complexion He had hair that was very nearly black and a
cleanshaven face best described perhaps as of bureaucratic type The clothes
he wore were of expensive material but had seen a good deal of service His
standup collar curled over at the corners and his necktie was lilacsprigged
Of the two sisters Dora aged twenty was the more like him in visage but
she spoke with a gentleness which seemed to indicate a different character
Maud who was twentytwo had bold handsome features and very beautiful hair
of russet tinge hers was not a face that readily smiled Their mother had the
look and manners of an invalid though she sat at table in the ordinary way All
were dressed as ladies though very simply The room which looked upon a small
patch of garden was furnished with oldfashioned comfort only one or two
objects suggesting the decorative spirit of 1882
»A man who comes to be hanged« pursued Jasper impartially »has the
satisfaction of knowing that he has brought society to its last resource He is
a man of such fatal importance that nothing will serve against him but the
supreme effort of law In a way you know that is success«
»In a way« repeated Maud scornfully
»Suppose we talk of something else« suggested Dora who seemed to fear a
conflict between her sister and Jasper
Almost at the same moment a diversion was afforded by the arrival of the
post There was a letter for Mrs Milvain a letter and newspaper for her son
Whilst the girls and their mother talked of unimportant news communicated by the
one correspondent Jasper read the missive addressed to himself
»This is from Reardon« he remarked to the younger girl »Things are going
badly with him He is just the kind of fellow to end by poisoning or shooting
himself«
»But why«
»Cant get anything done and begins to be sore troubled on his wifes
account«
»Is he ill«
»Overworked I suppose But its just what I foresaw He isnt the kind of
man to keep up literary production as a paying business In favourable
circumstances he might write a fairly good book once every two or three years
The failure of his last depressed him and now he is struggling hopelessly to
get another done before the winter season Those people will come to grief«
»The enjoyment with which he anticipates it« murmured Maud looking at her
mother
»Not at all« said Jasper »Its true I envied the fellow because he
persuaded a handsome girl to believe in him and share his risks but I shall be
very sorry if he goes to the to the dogs Hes my one serious friend But it
irritates me to see a man making such large demands upon fortune One must be
more modest as I am Because one book had a sort of success he imagined his
struggles were over He got a hundred pounds for On Neutral Ground and at once
counted on a continuance of payments in geometrical proportion I hinted to him
that he couldnt keep it up and he smiled with tolerance no doubt thinking He
judges me by himself But I didnt do anything of the kind Toast please
Dora Im a stronger man than Reardon I can keep my eyes open and wait«
»Is his wife the kind of person to grumble« asked Mrs Milvain
»Well yes I suspect that she is The girl wasnt content to go into modest
rooms they must furnish a flat I rather wonder he didnt start a carriage for
her Well his next book brought only another hundred and now even if he
finishes this one its very doubtful if hell get as much The Optimist was
practically a failure«
»Mr Yule may leave them some money« said Dora
»Yes But he may live another ten years and he would see them both in
Marylebone Workhouse before he advanced sixpence or Im much mistaken in him
Her mother has only just enough to live upon cant possibly help them Her
brother wouldnt give or lend twopence halfpenny«
»Has Mr Reardon no relatives« asked Maud
»I never heard him make mention of a single one No he has done the fatal
thing A man in his position if he marry at all must take either a workgirl
or an heiress and in many ways the workgirl is preferable«
»How can you say that« asked Dora »You never cease talking about the
advantages of money«
»Oh I dont mean that for me the workgirl would be preferable by no
means but for a man like Reardon He is absurd enough to be conscientious
likes to be called an artist and so on He might possibly earn a hundred and
fifty a year if his mind were at rest and that would be enough if he had
married a decent little dressmaker He wouldnt desire superfluities and the
quality of his work would be its own reward As it is hes ruined«
»And I repeat« said Maud »that you enjoy the prospect«
»Nothing of the kind If I seem to speak exultantly its only because my
intellect enjoys the clear perception of a fact A little marmalade Dora the
homemade please«
»But this is very sad Jasper« said Mrs Milvain in her halfabsent way »I
suppose they cant even go for a holiday«
»Quite out of the question«
»Not even if you invited them to come here for a week«
»Now mother« urged Maud »thats impossible you know very well«
»I thought we might make an effort dear A holiday might mean everything to
him«
»No no« fell from Jasper thoughtfully »I dont think youd get along
very well with Mrs Reardon and then if her uncle is coming to Mr Yules you
know that would be awkward«
»I suppose it would though those people would only stay a day or two Miss
Harrow said«
»Why cant Mr Yule make them friends those two lots of people« asked Dora
»You say hes on good terms with both«
»I suppose he thinks its no business of his«
Jasper mused over the letter from his friend
»Ten years hence« he said »if Reardon is still alive I shall be lending
him fivepound notes«
A smile of irony rose to Mauds lips Dora laughed
»To be sure To be sure« exclaimed their brother »You have no faith But
just understand the difference between a man like Reardon and a man like me He
is the old type of unpractical artist I am the literary man of 1882 He wont
make concessions or rather he cant make them he cant supply the market I
well you may say that at present I do nothing but thats a great mistake I am
learning my business Literature nowadays is a trade Putting aside men of
genius who may succeed by mere cosmic force your successful man of letters is
your skilful tradesman He thinks first and foremost of the markets when one
kind of goods begins to go off slackly he is ready with something new and
appetising He knows perfectly all the possible sources of income Whatever he
has to sell hell get payment for it from all sorts of various quarters none of
your unpractical selling for a lump sum to a middleman who will make six
distinct profits Now look you if I had been in Reardons place Id have made
four hundred at least out of The Optimist I should have gone shrewdly to work
with magazines and newspapers and foreign publishers and all sorts of people
Reardon cant do that kind of thing hes behind his age he sells a manuscript
as if he lived in Sam Johnsons Grub Street But our Grub Street of today is
quite a different place it is supplied with telegraphic communication it knows
what literary fare is in demand in every part of the world its inhabitants are
men of business however seedy«
»It sounds ignoble« said Maud
»I have nothing to do with that my dear girl Now as I tell you I am
slowly but surely learning the business My line wont be novels I have
failed in that direction Im not cut out for the work Its a pity of course
theres a great deal of money in it But I have plenty of scope In ten years I
repeat I shall be making my thousand a year«
»I dont remember that you stated the exact sum before« Maud observed
»Let it pass And to those who have shall be given When I have a decent
income of my own I shall marry a woman with an income somewhat larger so that
casualties may be provided for«
Dora exclaimed laughing
»It would amuse me very much if the Reardons got a lot of money at Mr Yules
death and that cant be ten years off Im sure«
»I dont see that theres any chance of their getting much« replied Jasper
meditatively »Mrs Reardon is only his niece The mans brother and sister will
have the first helping I suppose And then if it comes to the second
generation the literary Yule has a daughter and by her being invited here I
should think shes the favourite niece No no depend upon it they wont get
anything at all«
Having finished his breakfast he leaned back and began to unfold the London
paper that had come by post
»Had Mr Reardon any hopes of that kind at the time of his marriage do you
think« inquired Mrs Milvain
»Reardon Good heavens no Would he were capable of such forethought«
In a few minutes Jasper was left alone in the room When the servant came to
clear the table he strolled slowly away humming a tune
The house was pleasantly situated by the roadside in a little village named
Finden Opposite stood the church a plain low squaretowered building As it
was cattlemarket today in the town of Wattleborough droves of beasts and
sheep occasionally went by or the rattle of a graziers cart sounded for a
moment On ordinary days the road saw few vehicles and pedestrians were rare
Mrs Milvain and her daughters had lived here for the last seven years since
the death of the father who was a veterinary surgeon The widow enjoyed an
annuity of two hundred and forty pounds terminable with her life the children
had nothing of their own Maud acted irregularly as a teacher of music Dora had
an engagement as visiting governess in a Wattleborough family Twice a year as
a rule Jasper came down from London to spend a fortnight with them today
marked the middle of his autumn visit and the strained relations between him
and his sisters which invariably made the second week rather trying for all in
the house had already become noticeable
In the course of the morning Jasper had half an hours private talk with his
mother after which he set off to roam in the sunshine Shortly after he had
left the house Maud her domestic duties dismissed for the time came into the
parlour where Mrs Milvain was reclining on the sofa
»Jasper wants more money« said the mother when Maud had sat in meditation
for a few minutes
»Of course I knew that I hope you told him he couldnt have it«
»I really didnt know what to say« returned Mrs Milvain in a feeble tone
of worry
»Then you must leave the matter to me thats all Theres no money for him
and theres an end of it«
Maud set her features in sullen determination There was a brief silence
»Whats he to do Maud«
»To do How do other people do What do Dora and I do«
»You dont earn enough for your support my dear«
»Oh well« broke from the girl »Of course if you grudge us our food and
lodging «
»Dont be so quicktempered You know very well I am far from grudging you
anything dear But I only meant to say that Jasper does earn something you
know«
»Its a disgraceful thing that he doesnt earn as much as he needs We are
sacrificed to him as we always have been Why should we be pinching and
stinting to keep him in idleness«
»But you really cant call it idleness Maud He is studying his
profession«
»Pray call it trade he prefers it How do I know that hes studying
anything What does he mean by studying And to hear him speak scornfully of his
friend Mr Reardon who seems to work hard all through the year Its disgusting
mother At this rate he will never earn his own living Who hasnt seen or
heard of such men If we had another hundred a year I would say nothing But we
cant live on what he leaves us and Im not going to let you try I shall tell
Jasper plainly that hes got to work for his own support«
Another silence and a longer one Mrs Milvain furtively wiped a tear from
her cheek
»It seems very cruel to refuse« she said at length »when another year may
give him the opportunity hes waiting for«
»Opportunity What does he mean by his opportunity«
»He says that it always comes if a man knows how to wait«
»And the people who support him may starve meanwhile Now just think a bit
mother Suppose anything were to happen to you what becomes of Dora and me And
what becomes of Jasper too Its the truest kindness to him to compel him to
earn a living He gets more and more incapable of it«
»You cant say that Maud He earns a little more each year But for that I
should have my doubts He has made thirty pounds already this year and he only
made about twentyfive the whole of last We must be fair to him you know I
cant help feeling that he knows what hes about And if he does succeed hell
pay us all back«
Maud began to gnaw her fingers a disagreeable habit she had in privacy
»Then why doesnt he live more economically«
»I really dont see how he can live on less than a hundred and fifty a year
London you know «
»The cheapest place in the world«
»Nonsense Maud«
»But I know what Im saying Ive read quite enough about such things He
might live very well indeed on thirty shillings a week even buying his clothes
out of it«
»But he has told us so often that its no use to him to live like that He
is obliged to go to places where he must spend a little or he makes no
progress«
»Well all I can say is« exclaimed the girl impatiently »its very lucky
for him that hes got a mother who willingly sacrifices her daughters to him«
»Thats how you always break out You dont care what unkindness you say«
»Its a simple truth«
»Dora never speaks like that«
»Because shes afraid to be honest«
»No because she has too much love for her mother I cant bear to talk to
you Maud The older I get and the weaker I get the more unfeeling you are to
me«
Scenes of this kind were no uncommon thing The clash of tempers lasted for
several minutes then Maud flung out of the room An hour later at dinnertime
she was rather more caustic in her remarks than usual but this was the only
sign that remained of the stormy mood
Jasper renewed the breakfasttable conversation
»Look here« he began »why dont you girls write something Im convinced
you could make money if you tried Theres a tremendous sale for religious
stories why not patch one together I am quite serious«
»Why dont you do it yourself« retorted Maud
»I cant manage stories as I have told you but I think you could In your
place Id make a speciality of Sundayschool prizebooks you know the kind of
thing I mean They sell like hot cakes And theres so deuced little enterprise
in the business If youd give your mind to it you might make hundreds a year«
»Better say abandon your mind to it«
»Why there you are Youre a sharp enough girl You can quote as well as
anyone I know«
»And please why am I to take up an inferior kind of work«
»Inferior Oh if you can be a George Eliot begin at the earliest
opportunity I merely suggested what seemed practicable But I dont think you
have genius Maud People have got that ancient prejudice so firmly rooted in
their heads that one mustnt write save at the dictation of the Holy Spirit I
tell you writing is a business Get together half a dozen fair specimens of the
Sundayschool prize study them discover the essential points of such
composition hit upon new attractions then go to work methodically so many
pages a day Theres no question of the divine afflatus that belongs to another
sphere of life We talk of literature as a trade not of Homer Dante and
Shakspeare If I could only get that into poor Reardons head He thinks me a
gross beast often enough What the devil I mean what on earth is there in
typography to make everything it deals with sacred I dont advocate the
propagation of vicious literature I speak only of good coarse marketable
stuff for the worlds vulgar You just give it a thought Maud talk it over
with Dora«
He resumed presently
»I maintain that we people of brains are justified in supplying the mob with
the food it likes We are not geniuses and if we sit down in a spirit of
longeared gravity we shall produce only commonplace stuff Let us use our wits
to earn money and make the best we can of our lives If only I had the skill I
would produce novels outtrashing the trashiest that ever sold fifty thousand
copies But it needs skill mind you and to deny it is a gross error of the
literary pedants To please the vulgar you must one way or another incarnate
the genius of vulgarity For my own part I shant be able to address the
bulkiest multitude my talent doesnt lend itself to that form I shall write
for the upper middleclass of intellect the people who like to feel that what
they are reading has some special cleverness but who cant distinguish between
stones and paste Thats why Im so slow in warming to the work Every month I
feel surer of myself however That last thing of mine in The West End
distinctly hit the mark it wasnt too flashy it wasnt too solid I heard
fellows speak of it in the train«
Mrs Milvain kept glancing at Maud with eyes which desired her attention to
these utterances None the less half an hour after dinner Jasper found himself
encountered by his sister in the garden on her face a look which warned him of
what was coming
»I want you to tell me something Jasper How much longer shall you look to
mother for support I mean it literally let me have an idea of how much longer
it will be«
He looked away and reflected
»To leave a margin« was his reply »let us say twelve months«
»Better say your favourite ten years at once«
»No I speak by the card In twelve months time if not before I shall
begin to pay my debts My dear girl I have the honour to be a tolerably
longheaded individual I know what Im about«
»And let us suppose mother were to die within half a year«
»I should make shift to do very well«
»You And please what of Dora and me«
»You would write Sundayschool prizes«
Maud turned away and left him
He knocked the dust out of the pipe he had been smoking and again set off
for a stroll along the lanes On his countenance was just a trace of solicitude
but for the most part he wore a thoughtful smile Now and then he stroked his
smoothlyshaven jaws with thumb and fingers Occasionally he became observant of
wayside details of the colour of a maple leaf the shape of a tall thistle
the consistency of a fungus At the few people who passed he looked keenly
surveying them from head to foot
On turning at the limit of his walk he found himself almost face to face
with two persons who were coming along in silent companionship their
appearance interested him The one was a man of fifty grizzled hard featured
slightly bowed in the shoulders he wore a grey felt hat with a broad brim and
a decent suit of broadcloth With him was a girl of perhaps twoandtwenty in a
slatecoloured dress with very little ornament and a yellowstraw hat of the
shape originally appropriated to males her dark hair was cut short and lay in
innumerable crisp curls Father and daughter obviously The girl to a casual
eye was neither pretty nor beautiful but she had a grave and impressive face
with a complexion of ivory tone her walk was gracefully modest and she seemed
to be enjoying the country air
Jasper mused concerning them When he had walked a few yards he looked
back at the same moment the unknown man also turned his head
»Where the deuce have I seen them him and the girl too« Milvain asked
himself
And before he reached home the recollection he sought flashed upon his mind
»The Museum Readingroom of course«
Chapter 2
The House of Yule
»I think« said Jasper as he entered the room where his mother and Maud were
busy with plain needlework »I must have met Alfred Yule and his daughter«
»How did you recognise them« Mrs Milvain inquired
»I passed an old buffer and a palefaced girl whom I know by sight at the
British Museum It wasnt near Yules house but they were taking a walk«
»They may have come already When Miss Harrow was here last she said in
about a fortnight«
»No mistaking them for people of these parts even if I hadnt remembered
their faces Both of them are obvious dwellers in the valley of the shadow of
books«
»Is Miss Yule such a fright then« asked Maud
»A fright Not at all A good example of the modern literary girl I suppose
you have the oldest oldfashioned ideas of such people No I rather liked the
look of her Simpatica I should think as that ass Whelpdale would say A very
delicate pure complexion though morbid nice eyes figure not spoilt yet But
of course I may be wrong about their identity«
Later in the afternoon Jaspers conjecture was rendered a certainty Maud
had walked to Wattleborough where she would meet Dora on the latters return
from her teaching and Mrs Milvain sat alone in a mood of depression there was
a ring at the doorbell and the servant admitted Miss Harrow
This lady acted as housekeeper to Mr John Yule a wealthy resident in this
neighbourhood she was the sister of his deceased wife a thin softspeaking
kindly woman of fortyfive The greater part of her life she had spent as a
governess her position now was more agreeable and the removal of her anxiety
about the future had developed qualities of cheerfulness which formerly no one
would have suspected her to possess The acquaintance between Mrs Milvain and
her was only of twelve months standing prior to that Mr Yule had inhabited a
house at the end of Wattleborough remote from Finden
»Our London visitors came yesterday« she began by saying
Mrs Milvain mentioned her sons encounter an hour or two ago
»No doubt it was they« said the visitor »Mrs Yule hasnt come I hardly
expected she would you know So very unfortunate when there are difficulties of
that kind isnt it«
She smiled confidentially
»The poor girl must feel it« said Mrs Milvain
»Im afraid she does Of course it narrows the circle of her friends at
home Shes a sweet girl and I should so like you to meet her Do come and have
tea with us tomorrow afternoon will you Or would it be too much for you just
now«
»Will you let the girls call And then perhaps Miss Yule will be so good as
to come and see me«
»I wonder whether Mr Milvain would like to meet her father I have thought
that perhaps it might be some advantage to him Alfred is so closely connected
with literary people you know«
»I feel sure he would be glad« replied Mrs Milvain »But what of Jaspers
friendship with Mrs Edmund Yule and the Reardons Mightnt it be a little
awkward«
»Oh I dont think so unless he himself felt it so There would be no need
to mention that I should say And really it would be so much better if those
estrangements came to an end John makes no scruple of speaking freely about
everyone and I dont think Alfred regards Mrs Edmund with any serious
unkindness If Mr Milvain would walk over with the young ladies tomorrow it
would be very pleasant«
»Then I think I may promise that he will Im sure I dont know where he is
at this moment We dont see very much of him except at meals«
»He wont be with you much longer I suppose«
»Perhaps a week«
Before Miss Harrows departure Maud and Dora reached home They were curious
to see the young lady from the valley of the shadow of books and gladly
accepted the invitation offered them
They set out on the following afternoon in their brothers company It was
only a quarter of an hours walk to Mr Yules habitation a small house in a
large garden Jasper was coming hither for the first time his sisters now and
then visited Miss Harrow but very rarely saw Mr Yule himself who made no
secret of the fact that he cared little for female society In Wattleborough and
the neighbourhood opinions varied greatly as to this gentlemans character but
women seldom spoke very favourably of him Miss Harrow was reticent concerning
her brotherinlaw no one however had any reason to believe that she found
life under his roof disagreeable That she lived with him at all was of course
occasionally matter for comment certain Wattleborough ladies having their
doubts regarding the position of a deceased wifes sister under such
circumstances but no one was seriously exercised about the relations between
this sober lady of fortyfive and a man of sixtythree in broken health
A word of the family history
John Alfred and Edmund Yule were the sons of a Wattleborough stationer
Each was well educated up to the age of seventeen at the towns grammar
school The eldest who was a hotheaded lad but showed capacities for
business worked at first with his father endeavouring to add a bookselling
department to the trade in stationery but the life of home was not much to his
taste and at oneandtwenty he obtained a clerks place in the office of a
London newspaper Three years after his father died and the small patrimony
which fell to him he used in making himself practically acquainted with the
details of paper manufacture his aim being to establish himself in partnership
with an acquaintance who had started a small papermill in Hertfordshire His
speculation succeeded and as years went on he became a thriving manufacturer
His brother Alfred in the meantime had drifted from work at a London
booksellers into the modern Grub Street his adventures in which region will
concern us hereafter Edmund carried on the Wattleborough business but with
small success Between him and his eldest brother existed a good deal of
affection and in the end John offered him a share in his flourishing
paperworks whereupon Edmund married deeming himself well established for
life But Johns temper was a difficult one Edmund and he quarrelled parted
and when the younger died aged about forty he left but moderate provision for
his widow and two children
Only when he had reached middle age did John marry the experiment could not
be called successful and Mrs Yule died three years later childless
At fiftyfour John Yule retired from active business he came back to the
scenes of his early life and began to take an important part in the municipal
affairs of Wattleborough He was then a remarkably robust man fond of
outofdoor exercise he made it one of his chief efforts to encourage the local
Volunteer movement the cricket and football clubs public sports of every kind
showing no sympathy whatever with those persons who wished to establish free
libraries lectures and the like At his own expense he built for the
Volunteers a handsome drillshed he founded a public gymnasium and finally he
allowed it to be rumoured that he was going to present the town with a park But
by presuming too far upon the bodily vigour which prompted these activities he
passed of a sudden into the state of a confirmed invalid On an autumn
expedition in the Hebrides he slept one night under the open sky with the
result that he had an all but fatal attack of rheumatic fever After that
though the direction of his interests was unchanged he could no longer set the
example to Wattleborough youth of muscular manliness The infliction did not
improve his temper for the next year or two he was constantly at warfare with
one or other of his colleagues and friends ill brooking that the familiar
control of various local interests should fall out of his hands But before long
he appeared to resign himself to his fate and at present Wattleborough saw
little of him It seemed likely that he might still found the park which was to
bear his name but perhaps it would only be done in consequence of directions in
his will It was believed that he could not live much longer
With his kinsfolk he held very little communication Alfred Yule a battered
man of letters had visited Wattleborough only twice including the present
occasion since Johns return hither Mrs Edmund Yule with her daughter now
Mrs Reardon had been only once three years ago These two families as you
have heard were not on terms of amity with each other owing to difficulties
between Mrs Alfred and Mrs Edmund but John seemed to regard both impartially
Perhaps the only real warmth of feeling he had ever known was bestowed upon
Edmund and Miss Harrow had remarked that he spoke with somewhat more interest
of Edmunds daughter Amy than of Alfreds daughter Marian But it was
doubtful whether the sudden disappearance from the earth of all his relatives
would greatly have troubled him He lived a life of curious selfabsorption
reading newspapers little else and talking with old friends who had stuck to
him in spite of his irascibility
Miss Harrow received her visitors in a small and soberly furnished
drawingroom She was nervous probably because of Jasper Milvain whom she had
met but once last spring and who on that occasion had struck her as an
alarmingly modern young man In the shadow of a windowcurtain sat a slight
simplydressed girl whose short curly hair and thoughtful countenance Jasper
again recognised When it was his turn to be presented to Miss Yule he saw that
she doubted for an instant whether or not to give her hand yet she decided to
do so and there was something very pleasant to him in its warm softness She
smiled with a slight embarrassment meeting his look only for a second
»I have seen you several times Miss Yule« he said in a friendly way
»though without knowing your name It was under the great dome«
She laughed readily understanding his phrase
»I am there very often« was her reply
»What great dome« asked Miss Harrow with surprise
»That of the British Museum Readingroom« explained Jasper »known to some
of us as the valley of the shadow of books People who often work there
necessarily get to know each other by sight In the same way I knew Miss Yules
father when I happened to pass him in the road yesterday«
The three girls began to converse together perforce of trivialities Marian
Yule spoke in rather slow tones thoughtfully gently she had linked her
fingers and laid her hands palms downwards upon her lap a nervous action
Her accent was pure unpretentious and she used none of the fashionable turns
of speech which would have suggested the habit of intercourse with distinctly
metropolitan society
»You must wonder how we exist in this outoftheway place« remarked Maud
»Rather I envy you« Marian answered with a slight emphasis
The door opened and Alfred Yule presented himself He was tall and his
head seemed a disproportionate culmination to his meagre body it was so large
and massively featured Intellect and uncertainty of temper were equally marked
upon his visage his brows were knitted in a permanent expression of severity
He had thin smooth hair grizzled whiskers a shaven chin In the multitudinous
wrinkles of his face lay a history of laborious and stormy life one readily
divined in him a struggling and embittered man Though he looked older than his
years he had by no means the appearance of being beyond the ripeness of his
mental vigour
»It pleases me to meet you Mr Milvain« he said as he stretched out his
bony hand »Your name reminds me of a paper in The Wayside a month or two ago
which you will perhaps allow a veteran to say was not ill done«
»I am grateful to you for noticing it« replied Jasper
There was positively a touch of visible warmth upon his cheek The allusion
had come so unexpectedly that it caused him keen pleasure
Mr Yule seated himself awkwardly crossed his legs and began to stroke the
back of his left hand which lay on his knee He seemed to have nothing more to
say at present and allowed Miss Harrow and the girls to support conversation
Jasper listened with a smile for a minute or two then he addressed the veteran
»Have you seen The Study this week Mr Yule«
»Yes«
»Did you notice that it contains a very favourable review of a novel which
was tremendously abused in the same columns three weeks ago«
Mr Yule started but Jasper could perceive at once that his emotion was not
disagreeable
»You dont say so«
»Yes The novel is Miss Hawks On the Boards How will the editor get out of
this«
»Hm Of course Mr Fadge is not immediately responsible but itll be
unpleasant for him decidedly unpleasant« He smiled grimly »You hear this
Marian«
»How is it explained father«
»May be accident of course but well theres no knowing I think it very
likely this will be the end of Mr Fadges tenure of office Rackett the
proprietor only wants a plausible excuse for making a change The paper has
been going downhill for the last year I know of two publishing houses who have
withdrawn their advertising from it and who never send their books for review
Everyone foresaw that kind of thing from the day Mr Fadge became editor The
tone of his paragraphs has been detestable Two reviews of the same novel eh
And diametrically opposed Ha ha«
Gradually he had passed from quiet appreciation of the joke to undisguised
mirth and pleasure His utterance of the name Mr Fadge sufficiently intimated
that he had some cause of personal discontent with the editor of The Study
»The author« remarked Milvain »ought to make a good thing out of this«
»Will no doubt Ought to write at once to the papers calling attention to
this sample of critical impartiality Ha ha«
He rose and went to the window where for several minutes he stood gazing at
vacancy the same grim smile still on his face Jasper in the meantime amused
the ladies his sisters had heard him on this subject already with a
description of the two antagonistic notices But he did not trust himself to
express so freely as he had done at home his opinion of reviewing in general it
was more than probable that both Yule and his daughter did a good deal of such
work
»Suppose we go into the garden« suggested Miss Harrow presently »It seems
a shame to sit indoors on such a lovely afternoon«
Hitherto there had been no mention of the master of the house But Mr Yule
now remarked to Jasper
»My brother would be glad if you would come and have a word with him He
isnt quite well enough to leave his room today«
So as the ladies went gardenwards Jasper followed the man of letters
upstairs to a room on the first floor Here in a deep cane chair which was
placed by the open window sat John Yule He was completely dressed save that
instead of a coat he wore a dressinggown The facial likeness between him and
his brother was very strong but Johns would universally have been judged the
finer countenance illness notwithstanding he had a complexion which contrasted
in its pure colour with Alfreds parchmenty skin and there was more finish
about his features His abundant hair was reddish his long moustache and
trimmed beard a lighter shade of the same hue
»So you too are in league with the doctors« was his bluff greeting as he
held a hand to the young man and inspected him with a look of slighting
goodnature
»Well that certainly is one way of regarding the literary profession«
admitted Jasper who had heard enough of Johns way of thinking to understand
the remark
»A young fellow with all the world before him too Hang it Mr Milvain is
there no less pernicious work you can turn your hand to«
»Im afraid not Mr Yule After all you know you must be held in a measure
responsible for my depravity«
»Hows that«
»I understand that you have devoted most of your life to the making of
paper If that article were not so cheap and so abundant people wouldnt have
so much temptation to scribble«
Alfred Yule uttered a short laugh
»I think you are cornered John«
»I wish« answered John »that you were both condemned to write on such
paper as I chiefly made it was a special kind of whiteybrown used by
shopkeepers«
He chuckled inwardly and at the same time reached out for a box of
cigarettes on a table near him His brother and Jasper each took one as he
offered them and began to smoke
»You would like to see literary production come entirely to an end« said
Milvain
»I should like to see the business of literature abolished«
»Theres a distinction of course But on the whole I should say that even
the business serves a good purpose«
»What purpose«
»It helps to spread civilisation«
»Civilisation« exclaimed John scornfully »What do you mean by
civilisation Do you call it civilising men to make them weak flabby creatures
with ruined eyes and dyspeptic stomachs Who is it that reads most of the stuff
thats poured out daily by the ton from the printingpress Just the men and
women who ought to spend their leisure hours in openair exercise the people
who earn their bread by sedentary pursuits and who need to live as soon as they
are free from the desk or the counter not to moon over small print Your Board
schools your popular press your spread of education Machinery for ruining the
country thats what I call it«
»You have done a good deal I think to counteract those influences in
Wattleborough«
»I hope so and if only I had kept the use of my limbs Id have done a good
deal more I have an idea of offering substantial prizes to men and women
engaged in sedentary work who take an oath to abstain from all reading and keep
it for a certain number of years Theres a good deal more need for that than
for abstinence from strong liquor If I could have had my way I would have
revived prizefighting«
His brother laughed with contemptuous impatience
»You would doubtless like to see military conscription introduced into
England« said Jasper
»Of course I should You talk of civilising theres no such way of
civilising the masses of the people as by fixed military service Before mental
training must come training of the body Go about the Continent and see the
effect of military service on loutish peasants and the lowest classes of town
population Do you know why it isnt even more successful Because the damnable
education movement interferes If Germany would shut up her schools and
universities for the next quarter of a century and go ahead like blazes with
military training thered be a nation such as the world has never seen After
that they might begin a little bookteaching again say an hour and a half a
day for everyone above nine years old Do you suppose Mr Milvain that society
is going to be reformed by you people who write for money Why you are the very
first class that will be swept from the face of the earth as soon as the
reformation really begins«
Alfred puffed at his cigarette His thoughts were occupied with Mr Fadge and
The Study He was considering whether he could aid in bringing public contempt
upon that literary organ and its editor Milvain listened to the elder mans
diatribe with much amusement
»You now« pursued John »what do you write about«
»Nothing in particular I make a saleable page or two out of whatever
strikes my fancy«
»Exactly You dont even pretend that youve got anything to say You live
by inducing people to give themselves mental indigestion and bodily too for
that matter«
»Do you know Mr Yule that you have suggested a capital idea to me If I
were to take up your views I think it isnt at all unlikely that I might make a
good thing of writing against writing It should be my literary specialty to
rail against literature The reading public should pay me for telling them that
they oughtnt to read I must think it over«
»Carlyle has anticipated you« threw in Alfred
»Yes but in an antiquated way I would base my polemic on the newest
philosophy«
He developed the idea facetiously whilst John regarded him as he might have
watched a performing monkey
»There again your new philosophy« exclaimed the invalid »Why it isnt
even wholesome stuff the kind of reading that most of you force on the public
Now theres the man who has married one of my nieces poor lass Reardon his
name is You know him I dare say Just for curiosity I had a look at one of his
books it was called The Optimist Of all the morbid trash I ever saw that beat
everything I thought of writing him a letter advising a couple of antibilious
pills before bedtime for a few weeks«
Jasper glanced at Alfred Yule who wore a look of indifference
»That man deserves penal servitude in my opinion« pursued John »Im not
sure that it isnt my duty to offer him a couple of hundred a year on condition
that he writes no more«
Milvain with a clear vision of his friend in London burst into laughter
But at that point Alfred rose from his chair
»Shall we rejoin the ladies« he said with a certain pedantry of phrase and
manner which often characterised him
»Think over your ways whilst youre still young« said John as he shook
hands with his visitor
»Your brother speaks quite seriously I suppose« Jasper remarked when he
was in the garden with Alfred
»I think so Its amusing now and then but gets rather tiresome when you
hear it often Bytheby you are not personally acquainted with Mr Fadge«
»I didnt even know his name until you mentioned it«
»The most malicious man in the literary world Theres no uncharitableness
in feeling a certain pleasure when he gets into a scrape I could tell you
incredible stories about him but that kind of thing is probably as little to
your taste as it is to mine«
Miss Harrow and her companions having caught sight of the pair came
towards them Tea was to be brought out into the garden
»So you can sit with us and smoke if you like« said Miss Harrow to Alfred
»You are never quite at your ease I think without a pipe«
But the man of letters was too preoccupied for society In a few minutes he
begged that the ladies would excuse his withdrawing he had two or three letters
to write before posttime which was early at Finden
Jasper relieved by the veterans departure began at once to make himself
very agreeable company When he chose to lay aside the topic of his own
difficulties and ambitions he could converse with a spontaneous gaiety which
readily won the goodwill of listeners Naturally he addressed himself very
often to Marian Yule whose attention complimented him She said little and
evidently was at no time a free talker but the smile on her face indicated a
mood of quiet enjoyment When her eyes wandered it was to rest on the beauties
of the garden the moving patches of golden sunshine the forms of gleaming
cloud Jasper liked to observe her as she turned her head there seemed to him a
particular grace in the movement her head and neck were admirably formed and
the short hair drew attention to this
It was agreed that Miss Harrow and Marian should come on the second day
after to have tea with the Milvains And when Jasper took leave of Alfred Yule
the latter expressed a wish that they might have a walk together one of these
mornings
Chapter 3
Holiday
Jaspers favourite walk led him to a spot distant perhaps a mile and a half from
home From a tract of common he turned into a short lane which crossed the Great
Western railway and thence by a stile into certain meadows forming a compact
little valley One recommendation of this retreat was that it lay sheltered from
all winds to Jasper a wind was objectionable Along the bottom ran a clear
shallow stream overhung with elder and hawthorn bushes and close by the wooden
bridge which spanned it was a great ash tree making shadow for cows and sheep
when the sun lay hot upon the open field It was rare for anyone to come along
this path save farm labourers morning and evening
But today the afternoon that followed his visit to John Yules house he
saw from a distance that his lounging place on the wooden bridge was occupied
Someone else had discovered the pleasure there was in watching the sunflecked
sparkle of the water as it flowed over the clean sand and stones A girl in a
yellow straw hat yes and precisely the person he had hoped at the first
glance that it might be He made no haste as he drew nearer on the descending
path At length his footstep was heard Marian Yule turned her head and clearly
recognized him
She assumed an upright position letting one of her hands rest upon the
rail After the exchange of ordinary greetings Jasper leaned back against the
same support and showed himself disposed for talk
»When I was here late in the spring« he said »this ash was only just
budding though everything else seemed in full leaf«
»An ash is it« murmured Marian »I didnt know I think an oak is the only
tree I can distinguish Yet« she added quickly »I knew that the ash was late
some lines of Tennyson come to my memory«
»Which are those«
»Delaying as the tender ash delays
To clothe herself when all the woods are green
somewhere in the Idylls«
»I dont remember so I wont pretend to though I should do so as a rule«
She looked at him oddly and seemed about to laugh yet did not
»You have had little experience of the country« Jasper continued
»Very little You I think have known it from childhood«
»In a sort of way I was born in Wattleborough and my people have always
lived here But I am not very rural in temperament I have really no friends
here either they have lost interest in me or I in them What do you think of
the girls my sisters«
The question though put with perfect simplicity was embarrassing
»They are tolerably intellectual« Jasper went on when he saw that it would
be difficult for her to answer »I want to persuade them to try their hands at
literary work of some kind or other They give lessons and both hate it«
»Would literary work be less burdensome« said Marian without looking at
him
»Rather more so you think«
She hesitated
»It depends of course on on several things«
»To be sure« Jasper agreed »I dont think they have any marked faculty for
such work but as they certainly havent for teaching that doesnt matter Its
a question of learning a business I am going through my apprenticeship and
find it a long affair Money would shorten it and unfortunately I have none«
»Yes« said Marian turning her eyes upon the stream »money is a help in
everything«
»Without it one spends the best part of ones life in toiling for that
first foothold which money could at once purchase To have money is becoming of
more and more importance in a literary career principally because to have money
is to have friends Year by year such influence grows of more account A lucky
man will still occasionally succeed by dint of his own honest perseverance but
the chances are dead against anyone who cant make private interest with
influential people his work is simply overwhelmed by that of the men who have
better opportunities«
»Dont you think that even today really good work will sooner or later be
recognised«
»Later rather than sooner and very likely the man cant wait he starves
in the meantime You understand that I am not speaking of genius I mean
marketable literary work The quantity turned out is so great that theres no
hope for the special attention of the public unless one can afford to advertise
hugely Take the instance of a successful allround man of letters take Ralph
Warbury whose name youll see in the first magazine you happen to open But
perhaps he is a friend of yours«
»Oh no«
»Well I wasnt going to abuse him I was only going to ask Is there any
quality which distinguishes his work from that of twenty struggling writers one
could name Of course not Hes a clever prolific man so are they But he
began with money and friends he came from Oxford into the thick of advertised
people his name was mentioned in print six times a week before he had written a
dozen articles This kind of thing will become the rule Men wont succeed in
literature that they may get into society but will get into society that they
may succeed in literature«
»Yes I know it is true« said Marian in a low voice
»Theres a friend of mine who writes novels« Jasper pursued »His books are
not works of genius but they are glaringly distinct from the ordinary
circulating novel Well after one or two attempts he made half a success that
is to say the publishers brought out a second edition of the book in a few
months There was his opportunity But he couldnt use it he had no friends
because he had no money A book of half that merit if written by a man in the
position of Warbury when he started would have established the reputation of a
lifetime His influential friends would have referred to it in leaders in
magazine articles in speeches in sermons It would have run through numerous
editions and the author would have had nothing to do but to write another book
and demand his price But the novel Im speaking of was practically forgotten a
year after its appearance it was whelmed beneath the flood of next seasons
literature«
Marian urged a hesitating objection
»But under the circumstances wasnt it in the authors power to make
friends Was money really indispensable«
»Why yes because he chose to marry As a bachelor he might possibly have
got into the right circles though his character would in any case have made it
difficult for him to curry favour But as a married man without means the
situation was hopeless Once married you must live up to the standard of the
society you frequent you cant be entertained without entertaining in return
Now if his wife had brought him only a couple of thousand pounds all might have
been well I should have advised him in sober seriousness to live for two
years at the rate of a thousand a year At the end of that time he would have
been earning enough to continue at pretty much the same rate of expenditure«
»Perhaps«
»Well I ought rather to say that the average man of letters would be able
to do that As for Reardon «
He stopped The name had escaped him unawares
»Reardon« said Marian looking up »You are speaking of him«
»I have betrayed myself Miss Yule«
»But what does it matter You have only spoken in his favour«
»I feared the name might affect you disagreeably«
Marian delayed her reply
»It is true« she said »we are not on friendly terms with my cousins
family I have never met Mr Reardon But I shouldnt like you to think that the
mention of his name is disagreeable to me«
»It made me slightly uncomfortable yesterday the fact that I am well
acquainted with Mrs Edmund Yule and that Reardon is my friend Yet I didnt see
why that should prevent my making your fathers acquaintance«
»Surely not I shall say nothing about it I mean as you uttered the name
unintentionally«
There was a pause in the dialogue They had been speaking almost
confidentially and Marian seemed to become suddenly aware of an oddness in the
situation She turned towards the uphill path as if thinking of resuming her
walk
»You are tired of standing still« said Jasper »May I walk back a part of
the way with you«
»Thank you I shall be glad«
They went on for a few minutes in silence
»Have you published anything with your signature Miss Yule« Jasper at
length inquired
»Nothing I only help father a little«
The silence that again followed was broken this time by Marian
»When you chanced to mention Mr Reardons name« she said with a diffident
smile in which lay that suggestion of humour so delightful upon a womans face
»you were going to say something more about him«
»Only that « he broke off and laughed »Now how boyish it was wasnt it
I remember doing just the same thing once when I came home from school and had
an exciting story to tell with preservation of anonymities Of course I blurted
out a name in the first minute or two to my fathers great amusement He told
me that I hadnt the diplomatic character I have been trying to acquire it ever
since«
»But why«
»Its one of the essentials of success in any kind of public life And I
mean to succeed you know I feel that I am one of the men who do succeed But I
beg your pardon you asked me a question Really I was only going to say of
Reardon what I had said before that he hasnt the tact requisite for acquiring
popularity«
»Then I may hope that it isnt his marriage with my cousin which has proved
a fatal misfortune«
»In no case« replied Milvain averting his look »would he have used his
advantages«
»And now Do you think he has but poor prospects«
»I wish I could see any chance of his being estimated at his right value
Its very hard to say what is before him«
»I knew my cousin Amy when we were children« said Marian presently »She
gave promise of beauty«
»Yes she is beautiful«
»And the kind of woman to be of help to such a husband«
»I hardly know how to answer Miss Yule« said Jasper looking frankly at
her »Perhaps I had better say that its unfortunate they are poor«
Marian cast down her eyes
»To whom isnt it a misfortune« pursued her companion »Poverty is the root
of all social ills its existence accounts even for the ills that arise from
wealth The poor man is a man labouring in fetters I declare there is no word
in our language which sounds so hideous to me as Poverty«
Shortly after this they came to the bridge over the railway line Jasper
looked at his watch
»Will you indulge me in a piece of childishness« he said »In less than
five minutes a London express goes by I have often watched it here and it
amuses me Would it weary you to wait«
»I should like to« she replied with a laugh
The line ran along a deep cutting from either side of which grew hazel
bushes and a few larger trees Leaning upon the parapet of the bridge Jasper
kept his eye in the westward direction where the gleaming rails were visible
for more than a mile Suddenly he raised his finger
»You hear«
Marian had just caught the faroff sound of the train She looked eagerly
and in a few moments saw it approaching The front of the engine blackened
nearer and nearer coming on with dread force and speed A blinding rush and
there burst against the bridge a great volley of sunlit steam Milvain and his
companion ran to the opposite parapet but already the whole train had emerged
and in a few seconds it had disappeared round a sharp curve The leafy branches
that grew out over the line swayed violently backwards and forwards in the
perturbed air
»If I were ten years younger« said Jasper laughing »I should say that was
jolly It inspirits me It makes me feel eager to go back and plunge into the
fight again«
»Upon me it has just the opposite effect« fell from Marian in very low
tones
»Oh dont say that Well it only means that you havent had enough holiday
yet I have been in the country more than a week a few days more and I must be
off How long do you think of staying«
»Not much more than a week I think«
»Bytheby you are coming to have tea with us tomorrow« Jasper remarked à
propos of nothing Then he returned to another subject that was in his thoughts
»It was by a train like that that I first went up to London Not really the
first time I mean when I went to live there seven years ago What spirits I
was in A boy of eighteen going to live independently in London think of it«
»You went straight from school«
»I was for two years at Redmayne College after leaving Wattleborough Grammar
School Then my father died and I spent nearly half a year at home I was meant
to be a teacher but the prospect of entering a school by no means appealed to
me A friend of mine was studying in London for some Civil Service exam so I
declared that I would go and do the same thing«
»Did you succeed«
»Not I I never worked properly for that kind of thing I read voraciously
and got to know London I might have gone to the dogs you know but by when I
had been in London a year a pretty clear purpose began to form in me Strange to
think that you were growing up there all the time I may have passed you in the
street now and then«
Marian laughed
»And I did at length see you at the British Museum you know«
They turned a corner of the road and came full upon Marians father who
was walking in this direction with eyes fixed upon the ground
»So here you are« he exclaimed looking at the girl and for the moment
paying no attention to Jasper »I wondered whether I should meet you« Then
more dryly »How do you do Mr Milvain«
In a tone of easy indifference Jasper explained how he came to be
accompanying Miss Yule
»Shall I walk on with you father« Marian asked scrutinising his rugged
features
»Just as you please I dont know that I should have gone much further But
we might take another way back«
Jasper readily adapted himself to the wish he discerned in Mr Yule at once
he offered leavetaking in the most natural way Nothing was said on either side
about another meeting
The young man proceeded homewards but on arriving did not at once enter
the house Behind the garden was a field used for the grazing of horses he
entered it by the unfastened gate and strolled idly hither and thither now and
then standing to observe a poor wornout beast all skin and bone which had
presumably been sent here in the hope that a little more labour might still be
exacted from it if it were suffered to repose for a few weeks There were sores
upon its back and legs it stood in a fixed attitude of despondency just
flicking away troublesome flies with its grizzled tail
It was teatime when he went in Maud was not at home and Mrs Milvain
tormented by a familiar headache kept her room so Jasper and Dora sat down
together Each had an open book on the table throughout the meal they exchanged
only a few words
»Going to play a little« Jasper suggested when they had gone into the
sittingroom
»If you like«
She sat down at the piano whilst her brother lay on the sofa his hands
clasped beneath his head Dora did not play badly but an absentmindedness
which was commonly observable in her had its effect upon the music She at
length broke off idly in the middle of a passage and began to linger on
careless chords Then without turning her head she asked
»Were you serious in what you said about writing storybooks«
»Quite I see no reason why you shouldnt do something in that way But I
tell you what when I get back Ill inquire into the state of the market I
know a man who was once engaged at Jolly amp Monks the chief publishers of
that kind of thing you know I must look him up what a mistake it is to
neglect any acquaintance and get some information out of him But its
obvious what an immense field there is for anyone who can just hit the taste of
the new generation of Board school children Mustnt be too goodygoody that
kind of thing is falling out of date But youd have to cultivate a particular
kind of vulgarity Theres an idea bytheby Ill write a paper on the
characteristics of that new generation it may bring me a few guineas and it
would be a help to you«
»But what do you know about the subject« asked Dora doubtfully
»What a comical question It is my business to know something about every
subject or to know where to get the knowledge«
»Well« said Dora after a pause »theres no doubt Maud and I ought to
think very seriously about the future You are aware Jasper that mother has
not been able to save a penny of her income«
»I dont see how she could have done Of course I know what youre thinking
but for me it would have been possible I dont mind confessing to you that the
thought troubles me a little now and then I shouldnt like to see you two going
off governessing in strangers houses All I can say is that I am very honestly
working for the end which I am convinced will be most profitable I shall not
desert you you neednt fear that But just put your heads together and
cultivate your writing faculty Suppose you could both together earn about a
hundred a year in Grub Street it would be better than governessing wouldnt
it«
»You say you dont know what Miss Yule writes«
»Well I know a little more about her than I did yesterday Ive had an
hours talk with her this afternoon«
»Indeed«
»Met her down in the Leggatt fields I find she doesnt write independently
just helps her father What the help amounts to I cant say Theres something
very attractive about her She quoted a line or two of Tennyson the first time
I ever heard a woman speak blank verse with any kind of decency«
»She was walking alone«
»Yes On the way back we met old Yule he seemed rather grumpy I thought I
dont think shes the kind of girl to make a paying business of literature Her
qualities are personal And its pretty clear to me that the valley of the
shadow of books by no means agrees with her disposition Possibly old Yule is
something of a tyrant«
»He doesnt impress me very favourably Do you think you will keep up their
acquaintance in London«
»Cant say I wonder what sort of a woman that mother really is Cant be so
very gross I should think«
»Miss Harrow knows nothing about her except that she was a quite uneducated
girl«
»But dash it by this time she must have got decent manners Of course
there may be other objections Mrs Reardon knows nothing against her«
Midway in the following morning as Jasper sat with a book in the garden he
was surprised to see Alfred Yule enter by the gate
»I thought« began the visitor who seemed in high spirits »that you might
like to see something I received this morning«
He unfolded a London evening paper and indicated a long letter from a
casual correspondent It was written by the authoress of »On the Boards« and
drew attention with much expenditure of witticism to the conflicting notices
of that book which had appeared in The Study Jasper read the thing with
laughing appreciation
»Just what one expected«
»And I have private letters on the subject« added Mr Yule »There has been
something like a personal conflict between Fadge and the man who looks after the
minor notices Fadge more suo charged the other man with a design to damage
him and the paper Theres talk of legal proceedings An immense joke«
He laughed in his peculiar croaking way
»Do you feel disposed for a turn along the lanes Mr Milvain«
»By all means Theres my mother at the window will you come in for a
moment«
With a step of quite unusual sprightliness Mr Yule entered the house He
could talk of but one subject and Mrs Milvain had to listen to a laboured
account of the blunder just committed by The Study It was Alfred Yules
characteristic that he could do nothing lighthandedly He seemed always to
converse with effort he took a seat with stiff ungainliness he walked with a
stumbling or sprawling gait
When he and Jasper set out for their ramble his loquacity was in strong
contrast with the taciturn mood he had exhibited yesterday and the day before
He fell upon the general aspects of contemporary literature
» The evil of the time is the multiplication of ephemerides Hence a
demand for essays descriptive articles fragments of criticism out of all
proportion to the supply of even tolerable work The men who have an aptitude
for turning out this kind of thing in vast quantities are enlisted by every new
periodical with the result that their productions are ultimately watered down
into worthlessness Well now theres Fadge Years ago some of Fadges work
was not without a certain a certain conditional promise of of comparative
merit but now his writing in my opinion is altogether beneath consideration
how Rackett could be so benighted as to give him The Study especially after a
man like Henry Hawkridge passes my comprehension Did you read a paper of his
a few months back in The Wayside a preposterous rehabilitation of Elkanah
Settle Ha ha Thats what such men are driven to Elkanah Settle And he
hadnt even a competent acquaintance with his paltry subject Will you credit
that he twice or thrice referred to Settles reply to Absalom and Achitophel by
the title of Absalom Transposed when every schoolgirl knows that the thing was
called Achitophel Transposed This was monstrous enough but there was something
still more contemptible He positively I assure you attributed the play of
Epsom Wells to Crowne I should have presumed that every student of even the
most trivial primer of literature was aware that Epsom Wells was written by
Shadwell Now if one were to take Shadwell for the subject of a paper one
might very well show how unjustly his name has fallen into contempt It has
often occurred to me to do this But Shadwell never deviates into sense The
sneer in my opinion is entirely unmerited For my own part I put Shadwell
very high among the dramatists of his time and I think I could show that his
absolute worth is by no means inconsiderable Shadwell has distinct vigour of
dramatic conception his dialogue «
And as he talked the man kept describing imaginary geometrical figures with
the end of his walkingstick he very seldom raised his eyes from the ground
and the stoop in his shoulders grew more and more pronounced until at a little
distance one might have taken him for a hunchback At one point Jasper made a
pause to speak of the pleasant wooded prospect that lay before them his
companion regarded it absently and in a moment or two asked
»Did you ever come across Cottles poem on the Malvern Hills No It
contains a couple of the richest lines ever put into print
It needs the evidence of close deduction
To know that I shall ever reach the top
Perfectly serious poetry mind you«
He barked in laughter Impossible to interest him in anything apart from
literature yet one saw him to be a man of solid understanding and not without
perception of humour He had read vastly his memory was a literary cyclopædia
His failings obvious enough were the results of a strong and somewhat pedantic
individuality ceaselessly at conflict with unpropitious circumstances
Towards the young man his demeanour varied between a shy cordiality and a
dignified reserve which was in danger of seeming pretentious On the homeward
part of the walk he made a few discreet inquiries regarding Milvains literary
achievements and prospects and the frank selfconfidence of the replies
appeared to interest him But he expressed no desire to number Jasper among his
acquaintances in town and of his own professional or private concerns he said
not word
»Whether he could be any use to me or not I dont exactly know« Jasper
remarked to his mother and sisters at dinner »I suspect its as much as he can
do to keep a footing among the younger tradesmen But I think he might have said
he was willing to help me if he could«
»Perhaps« replied Maud »your large way of talking made him think any such
offer superfluous«
»You have still to learn« said Jasper »that modesty helps a man in no
department of modern life People take you at your own valuation Its the men
who declare boldly that they need no help to whom practical help comes from all
sides As likely as not Yule will mention my name to someone A young fellow who
seems to see his way pretty clear before him The other man will repeat it to
somebody else A young fellow whose way is clear before him and so I come to
the ears of a man who thinks Just the fellow I want I must look him up and ask
him if hell do suchandsuch a thing But I should like to see these Yules at
home I must fish for an invitation«
In the afternoon Miss Harrow and Marian came at the expected hour Jasper
purposely kept out of the way until he was summoned to the teatable
The Milvain girls were so far from effusive even towards old acquaintances
that even the people who knew them best spoke of them as rather cold and perhaps
a trifle condescending there were people in Wattleborough who declared their
airs of superiority ridiculous and insufferable The truth was that nature had
endowed them with a larger share of brains than was common in their circle and
had added that touch of pride which harmonised so ill with the restrictions of
poverty Their life had a tone of melancholy the painful reserve which
characterises a certain clearly defined class in the present day Had they been
born twenty years earlier the children of that veterinary surgeon would have
grown up to a very different and in all probability a much happier existence
for their education would have been limited to the strictly needful and
certainly in the case of the girls nothing would have encouraged them to look
beyond the simple life possible to a poor mans offspring But whilst Maud and
Dora were still with their homely schoolmistress Wattleborough saw fit to
establish a Girls High School and the moderateness of the fees enabled these
sisters to receive an intellectual training wholly incompatible with the
material conditions of their life To the relatively poor who are so much worse
off than the poor absolutely education is in most cases a mocking cruelty The
burden of their brothers support made it very difficult for Maud and Dora even
to dress as became their intellectual station amusements holidays the
purchase of such simple luxuries as were all but indispensable to them could
not be thought of It resulted that they held apart from the society which would
have welcomed them for they could not bear to receive without offering in turn
The necessity of giving lessons galled them they felt and with every reason
that it made their position ambiguous So that though they could not help
knowing many people they had no intimates they encouraged no one to visit
them and visited other houses as little as might be
In Marian Yule they divined a sympathetic nature She was unlike any girl
with whom they had hitherto associated and it was the impulse of both to
receive her with unusual friendliness The habit of reticence could not be at
once overcome and Marians own timidity was an obstacle in the way of free
intercourse but Jaspers conversation at tea helped to smooth the course of
things
»I wish you lived anywhere near us« Dora said to their visitor as the
three girls walked in the garden afterwards and Maud echoed the wish
»It would be very nice« was Marians reply »I have no friends of my own
age in London«
»None«
»Not one«
She was about to add something but in the end kept silence
»You seem to get along with Miss Yule pretty well after all« said Jasper
when the family were alone again
»Did you anticipate anything else« Maud asked
»It seemed doubtful up at Yules house Well get her to come here again
before I go But its a pity she doesnt play the piano« he added musingly
For two days nothing was seen of the Yules Jasper went each afternoon to
the stream in the valley but did not again meet Marian In the meanwhile he
was growing restless A fortnight always exhausted his capacity for enjoying the
companionship of his mother and sisters and this time he seemed anxious to get
to the end of his holiday For all that there was no continuance of the
domestic bickering which had begun Whatever the reason Maud behaved with
unusual mildness to her brother and Jasper in turn was gently disposed to both
the girls
On the morning of the third day it was Saturday he kept silence through
breakfast and just as all were about to rise from the table he made a sudden
announcement
»I shall go to London this afternoon«
»This afternoon« all exclaimed »But Monday is your day«
»No I shall go this afternoon by the 245«
And he left the room Mrs Milvain and the girls exchanged looks
»I suppose he thinks the Sunday will be too wearisome« said the mother
»Perhaps so« Maud agreed carelessly
Half an hour later just as Dora was ready to leave the house for her
engagements in Wattleborough her brother came into the hall and took his hat
saying
»Ill walk a little way with you if you dont mind«
When they were in the road he asked her in an offhand manner
»Do you think I ought to say goodbye to the Yules Or wont it signify«
»I should have thought you would wish to«
»I dont care about it And you see theres been no hint of a wish on
their part that I should see them in London No Ill just leave you to say
goodbye for me«
»But they expect to see us today or tomorrow You told them you were not
going till Monday and you dont know but Mr Yule might mean to say something
yet«
»Well I had rather he didnt« replied Jasper with a laugh
»Oh indeed«
»I dont mind telling you« he laughed again »Im afraid of that girl No
it wont do You understand that Im a practical man and I shall keep clear of
dangers These days of holiday idleness put all sorts of nonsense into ones
head«
Dora kept her eyes down and smiled ambiguously
»You must act as you think fit« she remarked at length
»Exactly Now Ill turn back Youll be with us at dinner«
They parted But Jasper did not keep to the straight way home First of all
he loitered to watch a reapingmachine at work then he turned into a lane which
led up the hill on which was John Yules house Even if he had purposed making a
farewell call it was still far too early all he wanted to do was to pass an
hour of the morning which threatened to lie heavy on his hands So he rambled
on and went past the house and took the fieldpath which would lead him
circuitously home again
His mother desired to speak to him She was in the diningroom in the
parlour Maud was practising music
»I think I ought to tell you of something I did yesterday Jasper« Mrs
Milvain began »You see my dear we have been rather straitened lately and my
health you know grows so uncertain and all things considered I have been
feeling very anxious about the girls So I wrote to your uncle William and told
him that I must positively have that money I must think of my own children
before his«
The matter referred to was this The deceased Mr Milvain had a brother who
was a struggling shopkeeper in a Midland town Some ten years ago William
Milvain on the point of bankruptcy had borrowed a hundred and seventy pounds
from his brother in Wattleborough and this debt was still unpaid for on the
death of Jaspers father repayment of the loan was impossible for William and
since then it had seemed hopeless that the sum would ever be recovered The poor
shopkeeper had a large family and Mrs Milvain notwithstanding her own
position had never felt able to press him her relative however often spoke
of the business and declared his intention of paying whenever he could
»You cant recover by law now you know« said Jasper
»But we have a right to the money law or no law He must pay it«
»He will simply refuse and be justified Poverty doesnt allow of
honourable feeling any more than of compassion Im sorry you wrote like that
You wont get anything and you might as well have enjoyed the reputation of
forbearance«
Mrs Milvain was not able to appreciate this characteristic remark Anxiety
weighed upon her and she became irritable
»I am obliged to say Jasper that you seem rather thoughtless If it were
only myself I would make any sacrifice for you but you must remember «
»Now listen mother« he interrupted laying a hand on her shoulder »I have
been thinking about all this and the fact of the matter is I shall do my best
to ask you for no more money It may or may not be practicable but Ill have a
try So dont worry If uncle writes that he cant pay just explain why you
wrote and keep him gently in mind of the thing thats all One doesnt like to
do brutal things if one can avoid them you know«
The young man went to the parlour and listened to Mauds music for a while
But restlessness again drove him forth Towards eleven oclock he was again
ascending in the direction of John Yules house Again he had no intention of
calling but when he reached the iron gates he lingered
»I will by Jove« he said within himself at last »Just to prove I have
complete command of myself Its to be a display of strength not weakness«
At the house door he inquired for Mr Alfred Yule That gentleman had gone in
the carriage to Wattleborough half an hour ago with his brother
»Miss Yule«
Yes she was within Jasper entered the sittingroom waited a few moments
and Marian appeared She wore a dress in which Milvain had not yet seen her and
it had the effect of making him regard her attentively The smile with which she
had come towards him passed from her face which was perchance a little warmer
of hue than commonly
»Im sorry your father is away Miss Yule« Jasper began in an animated
voice »I wanted to say goodbye to him I return to London in a few hours«
»You are going sooner than you intended«
»Yes I feel I mustnt waste any more time I think the country air is doing
you good you certainly look better than when I passed you that first day«
»I feel better much«
»My sisters are anxious to see you again I shouldnt wonder if they come up
this afternoon«
Marian had seated herself on the sofa and her hands were linked upon her
lap in the same way as when Jasper spoke with her here before the palms
downward The beautiful outline of her bent head was relieved against a broad
strip of sunlight on the wall behind her
»They deplore« he continued in a moment »that they should come to know you
only to lose you again so soon«
»I have quite as much reason to be sorry« she answered looking at him with
the slightest possible smile »But perhaps they will let me write to them and
hear from them now and then«
»They would think it an honour Country girls are not often invited to
correspond with literary ladies in London«
He said it with as much jocoseness as civility allowed then at once rose
»Father will be very sorry« Marian began with one quick glance towards the
window and then another towards the door »Perhaps he might possibly be able to
see you before you go«
Jasper stood in hesitation There was a look on the girls face which under
other circumstances would have suggested a ready answer
»I mean« she added hastily »he might just call or even see you at the
station«
»Oh I shouldnt like to give Mr Yule any trouble Its my own fault for
deciding to go today I shall leave by the 245«
He offered his hand
»I shall look for your name in the magazines Miss Yule«
»Oh I dont think you will ever find it there«
He laughed incredulously shook hands with her a second time and strode out
of the room head erect feeling proud of himself
When Dora came home at dinnertime he informed her of what he had done
»A very interesting girl« he added impartially »I advise you to make a
friend of her Who knows but you may live in London some day and then she might
be valuable morally I mean For myself I shall do my best not to see her
again for a long time shes dangerous«
Jasper was unaccompanied when he went to the station Whilst waiting on the
platform he suffered from apprehension lest Alfred Yules seamed visage should
present itself but no acquaintance approached him Safe in the corner of his
thirdclass carriage he smiled at the last glimpse of the familiar fields and
began to think of something he had decided to write for The West End
Chapter 4
An Author and His Wife
Eight flights of stairs consisting alternately of eight and nine steps Amy had
made the calculation and wondered what was the cause of this arrangement The
ascent was trying but then no one could contest the respectability of the
abode In the flat immediately beneath resided a successful musician whose
carriage and pair came at a regular hour each afternoon to take him and his wife
for a most respectable drive In this special building no one else seemed at
present to keep a carriage but all the tenants were gentlefolk
And as to living up at the very top why there were distinct advantages
as so many people of moderate income are nowadays hastening to discover The
noise from the street was diminished at this height no possible tramplers could
establish themselves above your head the air was bound to be purer than that of
inferior strata finally one had the flat roof whereon to sit or expatiate in
sunny weather True that a gentle rain of soot was wont to interfere with ones
comfort out there in the open but such minutiæ are easily forgotten in the
fervour of domestic description It was undeniable that on a fine day one
enjoyed extensive views The green ridge from Hampstead to Highgate with
Primrose Hill and the foliage of Regents Park in the foreground the suburban
spaces of St Johns Wood Maida Vale Kilburn Westminster Abbey and the Houses
of Parliament lying low by the side of the hidden river and a glassy gleam on
faroff hills which meant the Crystal Palace then the clouded majesty of
eastern London crowned by St Pauls dome These things ones friends were
expected to admire Sunset often afforded rich effects but they were for
solitary musing
A sittingroom a bedroom a kitchen But the kitchen was called
diningroom or even parlour at need for the cooking range lent itself to
concealment behind an ornamental screen the walls displayed pictures and
bookcases and a tiny scullery which lay apart sufficed for the coarser domestic
operations This was Amys territory during the hours when her husband was
working or endeavouring to work Of necessity Edwin Reardon used the front
room as his study His writingtable stood against the window each wall had its
shelves of serried literature vases busts engravings all of the inexpensive
kind served for ornaments
A maidservant recently emancipated from the Board school came at
halfpast seven each morning and remained until two oclock by which time the
Reardons had dined on special occasions her services were enlisted for later
hours But it was Reardons habit to begin the serious work of the day at about
three oclock and to continue with brief interruptions until ten or eleven in
many respects an awkward arrangement but enforced by the mans temperament and
his poverty
One evening he sat at his desk with a slip of manuscript paper before him
It was the hour of sunset His outlook was upon the backs of certain large
houses skirting Regents Park and lights had begun to show here and there in
the windows in one room a man was discoverable dressing for dinner he had not
thought it worth while to lower the blind in another some people were playing
billiards The higher windows reflected a rich glow from the western sky
For two or three hours Reardon had been seated in much the same attitude
Occasionally he dipped his pen into the ink and seemed about to write but each
time the effort was abortive At the head of the paper was inscribed »Chapter
III« but that was all And now the sky was dusking over darkness would soon
fall
He looked something older than his years which were twoandthirty on his
face was the pallor of mental suffering Often he fell into a fit of absence
and gazed at vacancy with wide miserable eyes Returning to consciousness he
fidgeted nervously on his chair dipped his pen for the hundredth time bent
forward in feverish determination to work Useless he scarcely knew what he
wished to put into words and his brain refused to construct the simplest
sentence
The colours faded from the sky and night came quickly Reardon threw his
arms upon the desk let his head fall forward and remained so as if asleep
Presently the door opened and a young clear voice made inquiry
»Dont you want the lamp Edwin«
The man roused himself turned his chair a little and looked towards the
open door
»Come here Amy«
His wife approached It was not quite dark in the room for a glimmer came
from the opposite houses
»Whats the matter Cant you do anything«
»I havent written a word today At this rate one goes crazy Come and sit
by me a minute dearest«
»Ill get the lamp«
»No come and talk to me we can understand each other better«
»Nonsense you have such morbid ideas I cant bear to sit in the gloom«
At once she went away and quickly reappeared with a readinglamp which she
placed on the square table in the middle of the room
»Draw down the blind Edwin«
She was a slender girl but not very tall her shoulders seemed rather broad
in proportion to her waist and the part of her figure below it The hue of her
hair was ruddy gold loosely arranged tresses made a superb crown to the beauty
of her small refined head Yet the face was not of distinctly feminine type
with short hair and appropriate clothing she would have passed unquestioned as
a handsome boy of seventeen a spirited boy too and one much in the habit of
giving orders to inferiors Her nose would have been perfect but for ever so
slight a crook which made it preferable to view her in full face than in
profile her lips curved sharply out and when she straightened them of a
sudden the effect was not reassuring to anyone who had counted upon her for
facile humour In harmony with the broad shoulders she had a strong neck as
she bore the lamp into the room a slight turn of her head showed splendid
muscles from the ear downward It was a magnificently clearcut bust one
thought in looking at her of the newlyfinished head which some honest
sculptor has wrought with his own hand from the marble block there was a
suggestion of planes and of the chisel The atmosphere was cold ruddiness would
have been quite out of place on her cheeks and a flush must have been the
rarest thing there
Her age was not quite twoandtwenty she had been wedded nearly two years
and had a child ten months old
As for her dress it was unpretending in fashion and colour but of
admirable fit Every detail of her appearance denoted scrupulous personal
refinement She walked well you saw that the foot however gently was firmly
planted When she seated herself her posture was instantly graceful and that
of one who is indifferent about the support for the back
»What is the matter« she began »Why cant you get on with the story«
It was the tone of friendly remonstrance not exactly of affection not at
all of tender solicitude
Reardon had risen and wished to approach her but could not do so directly
He moved to another part of the room then came round to the back of her chair
and bent his face upon her shoulder
»Amy «
»Well«
»I think its all over with me I dont think I shall write any more«
»Dont be so foolish dear What is to prevent your writing«
»Perhaps I am only out of sorts But I begin to be horribly afraid My will
seems to be fatally weakened I cant see my way to the end of anything if I
get hold of an idea which seems good all the sap has gone out of it before I
have got it into working shape In these last few months I must have begun a
dozen different books I have been ashamed to tell you of each new beginning I
write twenty pages perhaps and then my courage fails I am disgusted with the
thing and cant go on with it cant My fingers refuse to hold the pen In
mere writing I have done enough to make much more than three volumes but its
all destroyed«
»Because of your morbid conscientiousness There was no need to destroy what
you had written It was all good enough for the market«
»Dont use that word Amy I hate it«
»You cant afford to hate it« was her rejoinder in very practical tones
»However it was before you must write for the market now You have admitted
that yourself«
He kept silence
»Where are you« she went on to ask »What have you actually done«
»Two short chapters of a story I cant go on with The three volumes lie
before me like an interminable desert Impossible to get through them The idea
is stupidly artificial and I havent a living character in it«
»The public dont care whether the characters are living or not Dont
stand behind me like that its such an awkward way of talking Come and sit
down«
He drew away and came to a position whence he could see her face but kept
at a distance
»Yes« he said in a different way »thats the worst of it«
»What is«
»That you well its no use«
»That I what«
She did not look at him her lips after she had spoken drew in a little
»That your disposition towards me is being affected by this miserable
failure You keep saying to yourself that I am not what you thought me Perhaps
you even feel that I have been guilty of a sort of deception I dont blame you
its natural enough«
»Ill tell you quite honestly what I do think« she replied after a short
silence »You are much weaker than I imagined Difficulties crush you instead
of rousing you to struggle«
»True It has always been my fault«
»But dont you feel its rather unmanly this state of things You say you
love me and I try to believe it But whilst you are saying so you let me get
nearer and nearer to miserable hateful poverty What is to become of me of
us Shall you sit here day after day until our last shilling is spent«
»No of course I must do something«
»When shall you begin in earnest In a day or two you must pay this
quarters rent and that will leave us just about fifteen pounds in the world
Where is the rent at Christmas to come from What are we to live upon Theres
all sorts of clothing to be bought therell be all the extra expenses of
winter Surely its bad enough that we have had to stay here all the summer no
holiday of any kind I have done my best not to grumble about it but I begin to
think that it would be very much wiser if I did grumble«
She squared her shoulders and gave her head just a little shake as if a
fly had troubled her
»You bear everything very well and kindly« said Reardon »My behaviour is
contemptible I know that Good heavens if I only had some business to go to
something I could work at in any state of mind and make money out of Given
this chance I would work myself to death rather than you should lack anything
you desire But I am at the mercy of my brain it is dry and powerless How I
envy those clerks who go by to their offices in the morning Theres the days
work cut out for them no question of mood and feeling they have just to work
at something and when the evening comes they have earned their wages they are
free to rest and enjoy themselves What an insane thing it is to make literature
ones only means of support When the most trivial accident may at any time
prove fatal to ones power of work for weeks or months No that is the
unpardonable sin To make a trade of an art I am rightly served for attempting
such a brutal folly«
He turned away in a passion of misery
»How very silly it is to talk like this« came in Amys voice clearly
critical »Art must be practised as a trade at all events in our time This is
the age of trade Of course if one refuses to be of ones time and yet hasnt
the means to live independently what can result but breakdown and
wretchedness The fact of the matter is you could do fairly good work and work
which would sell if only you would bring yourself to look at things in a more
practical way Its what Mr Milvain is always saying you know«
»Milvains temperament is very different from mine He is naturally
lighthearted and hopeful I am naturally the opposite What you and he say is
true enough the misfortune is that I cant act upon it I am no uncompromising
artistic pedant I am quite willing to try and do the kind of work that will
sell under the circumstances it would be a kind of insanity if I refused But
power doesnt answer to the will My efforts are utterly vain I suppose the
prospect of pennilessness is itself a hindrance the fear haunts me With such
terrible real things pressing upon me my imagination can shape nothing
substantial When I have laboured out a story I suddenly see it in a light of
such contemptible triviality that to work at it is an impossible thing«
»You are ill thats the fact of the matter You ought to have had a
holiday I think even now you had better go away for a week or two Do Edwin«
»Impossible It would be the merest pretence of holiday To go away and
leave you here no«
»Shall I ask mother or Jack to lend us some money«
»That would be intolerable«
»But this state of things is intolerable«
Reardon walked the length of the room and back again
»Your mother has no money to lend dear and your brother would do it so
unwillingly that we cant lay ourselves under such an obligation«
»Yet it will come to that you know« remarked Amy calmly
»No it shall not come to that I must and will get something done long
before Christmas If only you «
He came and took one of her hands
»If only you will give me more sympathy dearest You see thats one side
of my weakness I am utterly dependent upon you Your kindness is the breath of
life to me Dont refuse it«
»But I have done nothing of the kind«
»You begin to speak very coldly And I understand your feeling of
disappointment The mere fact of your urging me to do anything that will sell is
a proof of bitter disappointment You would have looked with scorn at anyone who
talked to me like that two years ago You were proud of me because my work
wasnt altogether common and because I had never written a line that was meant
to attract the vulgar All thats over now If you knew how dreadful it is to
see that you have lost your hopes of me«
»Well but I havent altogether« Amy replied meditatively »I know very
well that if you had a lot of money you would do better things than ever«
»Thank you a thousand times for saying that my dearest«
»But you see we havent money and theres little chance of our getting
any That scrubby old uncle wont leave anything to us I feel too sure of it I
often feel disposed to go and beg him on my knees to think of us in his will«
She laughed »I suppose its impossible and would be useless but I should be
capable of it if I knew it would bring money«
Reardon said nothing
»I didnt think so much of money when we were married« Amy continued »I
had never seriously felt the want of it you know I did think theres no harm
in confessing it that you were sure to be rich some day but I should have
married you all the same if I had known that you would win only reputation«
»You are sure of that«
»Well I think so But I know the value of money better now I know it is
the most powerful thing in the world If I had to choose between a glorious
reputation with poverty and a contemptible popularity with wealth I should
choose the latter«
»No«
»I should«
»Perhaps you are right«
He turned away with a sigh
»Yes you are right What is reputation If it is deserved it originates
with a few score of people among the many millions who would never have
recognised the merit they at last applaud Thats the lot of a great genius As
for a mediocrity like me what ludicrous absurdity to fret myself in the hope
that half a dozen folks will say I am above the average After all is there
sillier vanity than this A year after I have published my last book I shall be
practically forgotten ten years later I shall be as absolutely forgotten as
one of those novelists of the early part of this century whose names one
doesnt even recognise What fatuous posing«
Amy looked askance at him but replied nothing
»And yet« he continued »of course it isnt only for the sake of reputation
that one tries to do uncommon work Theres the shrinking from conscious
insincerity of workmanship which most of the writers nowadays seem never to
feel Its good enough for the market that satisfies them And perhaps they are
justified I cant pretend that I rule my life by absolute ideals I admit that
everything is relative There is no such thing as goodness or badness in the
absolute sense of course Perhaps I am absurdly inconsistent when though
knowing my work cant be firstrate I strive to make it as good as possible I
dont say this in irony Amy I really mean it It may very well be that I am
just as foolish as the people I ridicule for moral and religious superstition
This habit of mine is superstitious How well I can imagine the answer of some
popular novelist if he heard me speak scornfully of his books My dear fellow
he might say do you suppose I am not aware that my books are rubbish I know it
just as well as you do But my vocation is to live comfortably I have a
luxurious house a wife and children who are happy and grateful to me for their
happiness If you choose to live in a garret and whats worse make your wife
and children share it with you thats your concern The man would be abundantly
right«
»But« said Amy »why should you assume that his books are rubbish Good
work succeeds now and then«
»I speak of the common kind of success which is never due to literary
merit And if I speak bitterly well I am suffering from my powerlessness I am
a failure my poor girl and it isnt easy for me to look with charity on the
success of men who deserved it far less than I did when I was still able to
work«
»Of course Edwin if you make up your mind that you are a failure you will
end by being so But Im convinced theres no reason that you should fail to
make a living with your pen Now let me advise you put aside all your strict
ideas about what is worthy and what is unworthy and just act upon my advice
Its impossible for you to write a threevolume novel very well then do a
short story of a kind thats likely to be popular You know Mr Milvain is always
saying that the long novel has had its day and that in future people will write
shilling books Why not try Give yourself a week to invent a sensational plot
and then a fortnight for the writing Have it ready for the new season at the
end of October If you like dont put your name to it your name certainly
would have no weight with this sort of public Just make it a matter of
business as Mr Milvain says and see if you cant earn some money«
He stood and regarded her His expression was one of pained perplexity
»You mustnt forget Amy that it needs a particular kind of faculty to
write stories of this sort The invention of a plot is just the thing I find
most difficult«
»But the plot may be as silly as you like providing it holds the attention
of vulgar readers Think of The Hollow Statue what could be more idiotic Yet
it sells by thousands«
»I dont think I can bring myself to that« Reardon said in a low voice
»Very well then will you tell me what you propose to do«
»I might perhaps manage a novel in two volumes instead of three«
He seated himself at the writingtable and stared at the blank sheets of
paper in an anguish of hopelessness
»It will take you till Christmas« said Amy »and then you will get perhaps
fifty pounds for it«
»I must do my best Ill go out and try to get some ideas I «
He broke off and looked steadily at his wife
»What is it« she asked
»Suppose I were to propose to you to leave this flat and take cheaper
rooms«
He uttered it in a shamefaced way his eyes falling Amy kept silence
»We might sublet it« he continued in the same tone »for the last year of
the lease«
»And where do you propose to live« Amy inquired coldly
»Theres no need to be in such a dear neighbourhood We could go to one of
the outer districts One might find three unfurnished rooms for about eight and
sixpence a week less than half our rent here«
»You must do as seems good to you«
»For Heavens sake Amy dont speak to me in that way I cant stand that
Surely you can see that I am driven to think of every possible resource To
speak like that is to abandon me Say you cant or wont do it but dont treat
me as if you had no share in my miseries«
She was touched for the moment
»I didnt mean to speak unkindly dear But think what it means to give up
our home and position That is open confession of failure It would be
horrible«
»I wont think of it I have three months before Christmas and I will
finish a book«
»I really cant see why you shouldnt Just do a certain number of pages
every day Good or bad never mind let the pages be finished Now you have got
two chapters «
»No that wont do I must think of a better subject«
Amy made a gesture of impatience
»There you are What does the subject matter Get this book finished and
sold and then do something better next time«
»Give me tonight just to think Perhaps one of the old stories I have
thrown aside will come back in a clearer light Ill go out for an hour you
dont mind being left alone«
»You mustnt think of such trifles as that«
»But nothing that concerns you in the slightest way is a trifle to me
nothing I cant bear that you should forget that Have patience with me
darling a little longer«
He knelt by her and looked up into her face
»Say only one or two kind words like you used to«
She passed her hand lightly over his hair and murmured something with a
faint smile
Then Reardon took his hat and stick and descended the eight flights of stone
steps and walked in the darkness round the outer circle of Regents Park
racking his fagged brain in a hopeless search for characters situations
motives
Chapter 5
The Way Hither
Even in midrapture of his marriage month he had foreseen this possibility but
fate had hitherto rescued him in sudden ways when he was on the brink of
selfabandonment and it was hard to imagine that this culmination of triumphant
joy could be a preface to base miseries
He was the son of a man who had followed many different pursuits and in
none had done much more than earn a livelihood At the age of forty when
Edwin his only child was ten years old Mr Reardon established himself in the
town of Hereford as a photographer and there he abode until his death nine
years after occasionally risking some speculation not inconsistent with the
photographic business but always with the result of losing the little capital
he ventured Mrs Reardon died when Edwin had reached his fifteenth year In
breeding and education she was superior to her husband to whom moreover she
had brought something between four and five hundred pounds her temper was
passionate in both senses of the word and the marriage could hardly be called a
happy one though it was never disturbed by serious discord The photographer
was a man of whims and idealisms his wife had a strong vein of worldly
ambition They made few friends and it was Mrs Reardons frequently expressed
desire to go and live in London where fortune she thought might be kinder to
them Reardon had all but made up his mind to try this venture when he suddenly
became a widower after that he never summoned energy to embark on new
enterprises
The boy was educated at an excellent local school at eighteen he had a far
better acquaintance with the ancient classics than most lads who have been
expressly prepared for a university and thanks to an anglicised Swiss who
acted as an assistant in Mr Reardons business he not only read French but
could talk it with a certain haphazard fluency These attainments however were
not of much practical use the best that could be done for Edwin was to place
him in the office of an estate agent His health was indifferent and it seemed
likely that openair exercise of which he would have a good deal under the
particular circumstances of the case might counteract the effects of study too
closely pursued
At his fathers death he came into possession practically it was put at his
disposal at once though he was little more than nineteen of about two hundred
pounds a lifeinsurance for five hundred had been sacrificed to exigencies not
very long before He had no difficulty in deciding how to use this money His
mothers desire to live in London had in him the force of an inherited motive
as soon as possible he released himself from his uncongenial occupations
converted into money all the possessions of which he had not immediate need and
betook himself to the metropolis
To become a literary man of course
His capital lasted him nearly four years for notwithstanding his age he
lived with painful economy The strangest life of almost absolute loneliness
From a certain point of Tottenham Court Road there is visible a certain garret
window in a certain street which runs parallel with that thoroughfare for the
greater part of these four years the garret in question was Reardons home He
paid only threeandsixpence a week for the privilege of living there his food
cost him about a shilling a day on clothing and other unavoidable expenses he
laid out some five pounds yearly Then he bought books volumes which cost
anything between twopence and two shillings further than that he durst not go
A strange time I assure you
When he had completed his twentyfirst year he desired to procure a
readers ticket for the British Museum Now this was not such a simple matter as
you may suppose it was necessary to obtain the signature of some respectable
householder and Reardon was acquainted with no such person His landlady was a
decent woman enough and a payer of rates and taxes but it would look odd to
say the least of it to present oneself in Great Russell Street armed with this
persons recommendation There was nothing for it but to take a bold step to
force himself upon the attention of a stranger the thing from which his pride
had always shrunk He wrote to a wellknown novelist a man with whose works he
had some sympathy »I am trying to prepare myself for a literary career I wish
to study in the Readingroom of the British Museum but have no acquaintance to
whom I can refer in the ordinary way Will you help me I mean in this
particular only« That was the substance of his letter For reply came an
invitation to a house in the Westend With fear and trembling Reardon answered
the summons He was so shabbily attired he was so diffident from the habit of
living quite alone he was horribly afraid lest it should be supposed that he
looked for other assistance than he had requested Well the novelist was a
rotund and jovial man his dwelling and his person smelt of money he was so
happy himself that he could afford to be kind to others
»Have you published anything« he inquired for the young mans letter had
left this uncertain
»Nothing I have tried the magazines but as yet without success«
»But what do you write«
»Chiefly essays on literary subjects«
»I can understand that you would find a difficulty in disposing of them
That kind of thing is supplied either by men of established reputation or by
anonymous writers who have a regular engagement on papers and magazines Give me
an example of your topics«
»I have written something lately about Tibullus«
»Oh dear Oh dear Forgive me Mr Reardon my feelings were too much for
me those names have been my horror ever since I was a schoolboy Far be it from
me to discourage you if your line is to be solid literary criticism I will
only mention as a matter of fact that such work is indifferently paid and in
very small demand It hasnt occurred to you to try your hand at fiction«
In uttering the word he beamed to him it meant a thousand or so a year
»I am afraid I have no talent for that«
The novelist could do no more than grant his genial signature for the
specified purpose and add good wishes in abundance Reardon went home with his
brain in a whirl He had had his first glimpse of what was meant by literary
success That luxurious study with its shelves of handsomelybound books its
beautiful pictures its warm fragrant air great heavens what might not a man
do who sat at his ease amid such surroundings
He began to work at the Readingroom but at the same time he thought often
of the novelists suggestion and before long had written two or three short
stories No editor would accept them but he continued to practise himself in
that art and by degrees came to fancy that after all perhaps he had some
talent for fiction It was significant however that no native impulse had
directed him to novelwriting His intellectual temper was that of the student
the scholar but strongly blended with a love of independence which had always
made him think with distaste of a teachers life The stories he wrote were
scraps of immature psychology the last thing a magazine would accept from an
unknown man
His money dwindled and there came a winter during which he suffered much
from cold and hunger What a blessed refuge it was there under the great dome
when he must else have sat in his windy garret with the mere pretence of a fire
The Readingroom was his true home its warmth enwrapped him kindly the
peculiar odour of its atmosphere at first a cause of headache grew dear and
delightful to him But he could not sit here until his last penny should be
spent Something practical must be done and practicality was not his strong
point
Friends in London he had none but for an occasional conversation with his
landlady he would scarcely have spoken a dozen words in a week His disposition
was the reverse of democratic and he could not make acquaintances below his own
intellectual level Solitude fostered a sensitiveness which to begin with was
extreme the lack of stated occupation encouraged his natural tendency to dream
and procrastinate and hope for the improbable He was a recluse in the midst of
millions and viewed with dread the necessity of going forth to fight for daily
food
Little by little he had ceased to hold any correspondence with his former
friends at Hereford The only person to whom he still wrote and from whom he
still heard was his mothers father an old man who lived at Derby retired
from the business of a draper and spending his last years pleasantly enough
with a daughter who had remained single Edwin had always been a favourite with
his grandfather though they had met only once or twice during the past eight
years But in writing he did not allow it to be understood that he was in actual
want and he felt that he must come to dire extremities before he could bring
himself to beg assistance
He had begun to answer advertisements but the state of his wardrobe forbade
his applying for any but humble positions Once or twice he presented himself
personally at offices but his reception was so mortifying that death by hunger
seemed preferable to a continuance of such experiences The injury to his pride
made him savagely arrogant for days after the last rejection he hid himself in
his garret hating the world
He sold his little collection of books and of course they brought only a
trifling sum That exhausted he must begin to sell his clothes And then
But help was at hand One day he saw it advertised in a newspaper that the
secretary of a hospital in the north of London was in need of a clerk
application was to be made by letter He wrote and two days later to his
astonishment received a reply asking him to wait upon the secretary at a
certain hour In a fever of agitation he kept the appointment and found that
his business was with a young man in the very highest spirits who walked up and
down a little office the hospital was of the special order a house of no great
size and treated the matter in hand as an excellent joke
»I thought you know of engaging someone much younger quite a lad in
fact But look there Those are the replies to my advertisement«
He pointed to a heap of five or six hundred letters and laughed consumedly
»Impossible to read them all you know It seemed to me that the fairest
thing would be to shake them together stick my hand in and take out one by
chance If it didnt seem very promising I would try a second time But the
first letter was yours and I thought the fair thing to do was at all events to
see you you know The fact is I am only able to offer a pound a week«
»I shall be very glad indeed to take that« said Reardon who was bathed in
perspiration
»Then what about references and so on« proceeded the young man chuckling
and rubbing his hands together
The applicant was engaged He had barely strength to walk home the sudden
relief from his miseries made him for the first time sensible of the extreme
physical weakness into which he had sunk For the next week he was very ill but
he did not allow this to interfere with his new work which was easily learnt
and not burdensome
He held this position for three years and during that time important things
happened When he had recovered from his state of semistarvation and was
living in comfort a pound a week is a very large sum if you have previously had
to live on ten shillings Reardon found that the impulse to literary production
awoke in him more strongly than ever He generally got home from the hospital
about six oclock and the evening was his own In this leisure time he wrote a
novel in two volumes one publisher refused it but a second offered to bring it
out on the terms of half profits to the author The book appeared and was well
spoken of in one or two papers but profits there were none to divide In the
third year of his clerkship he wrote a novel in three volumes for this his
publishers gave him twentyfive pounds with again a promise of half the profits
after deduction of the sum advanced Again there was no pecuniary success He
had just got to work upon a third book when his grandfather at Derby died and
left him four hundred pounds
He could not resist the temptation to recover his freedom Four hundred
pounds at the rate of eighty pounds a year meant five years of literary
endeavour In that period he could certainly determine whether or not it was his
destiny to live by the pen
In the meantime his relations with the secretary of the hospital Carter by
name had grown very friendly When Reardon began to publish books the
highspirited Mr Carter looked upon him with something of awe and when the
literary man ceased to be a clerk there was nothing to prevent association on
equal terms between him and his former employer They continued to see a good
deal of each other and Carter made Reardon acquainted with certain of his
friends among whom was one John Yule an easygoing selfish semiintellectual
young man who had a place in a Government office The time of solitude had gone
by for Reardon He began to develop the power that was in him
Those two books of his were not of a kind to win popularity They dealt with
no particular class of society unless one makes a distinct class of people who
have brains and they lacked local colour Their interest was almost purely
psychological It was clear that the author had no faculty for constructing a
story and that pictures of active life were not to be expected of him he could
never appeal to the multitude But strong characterisation was within his scope
and an intellectual fervour appetising to a small section of refined readers
marked all his best pages
He was the kind of man who cannot struggle against adverse conditions but
whom prosperity warms to the exercise of his powers Anything like the cares of
responsibility would sooner or later harass him into unproductiveness That he
should produce much was in any case out of the question possibly a book every
two or three years might not prove too great a strain upon his delicate mental
organism but for him to attempt more than that would certainly be fatal to the
peculiar merit of his work Of this he was dimly conscious and on receiving
his legacy he put aside for nearly twelve months the new novel he had begun To
give his mind a rest he wrote several essays much maturer than those which had
formerly failed to find acceptance and two of these appeared in magazines
The money thus earned he spent at a tailors His friend Carter ventured
to suggest this mode of outlay
His third book sold for fifty pounds It was a great improvement on its
predecessors and the reviews were generally favourable For the story which
followed »On Neutral Ground« he received a hundred pounds On the strength of
that he spent six months travelling in the south of Europe
He returned to London at midJune and on the second day after his arrival
befell an incident which was to control the rest of his life Busy with the
pictures in the Grosvenor Gallery he heard himself addressed in a familiar
voice and on turning he was aware of Mr Carter resplendent in fashionable
summer attire and accompanied by a young lady of some charms Reardon had
formerly feared encounters of this kind too conscious of the defects of his
attire but at present there was no reason why he should shirk social
intercourse He was passably dressed and the halfyear of travel had benefited
his appearance in no slight degree Carter presented him to the young lady of
whom the novelist had already heard as affianced to his friend
Whilst they stood conversing there approached two ladies evidently mother
and daughter whose attendant was another of Reardons acquaintances Mr John
Yule This gentleman stepped briskly forward and welcomed the returned wanderer
»Let me introduce you« he said »to my mother and sister Your fame has
made them anxious to know you«
Reardon found himself in a position of which the novelty was embarrassing
but scarcely disagreeable Here were five people grouped around him all of whom
regarded him unaffectedly as a man of importance for though strictly speaking
he had no fame at all these persons had kept up with the progress of his small
repute and were all distinctly glad to number among their acquaintances an
unmistakable author one too who was fresh from Italy and Greece Mrs Yule a
lady rather too pretentious in her tone to be attractive to a man of Reardons
refinement hastened to assure him how well his books were known in her house
though for the run of ordinary novels we dont care much Miss Yule not at all
pretentious in speech and seemingly reserved of disposition was good enough to
show frank interest in the author As for the poor author himself well he
merely fell in love with Miss Yule at first sight and there was an end of the
matter
A day or two later he made a call at their house in the region of
Westbourne Park It was a small house and rather showily than handsomely
furnished no one after visiting it would be astonished to hear that Mrs Edmund
Yule had but a small income and that she was often put to desperate expedients
to keep up the gloss of easy circumstances In the gauzy and fluffy and varnishy
little drawingroom Reardon found a youngish gentleman already in conversation
with the widow and her daughter This proved to be one Mr Jasper Milvain also a
man of letters Mr Milvain was glad to meet Reardon whose books he had read
with decided interest
»Really« exclaimed Mrs Yule »I dont know how it is that we have had to
wait so long for the pleasure of knowing you Mr Reardon If John were not so
selfish he would have allowed us a share in your acquaintance long ago«
Ten weeks thereafter Miss Yule became Mrs Reardon
It was a time of frantic exultation with the poor fellow He had always
regarded the winning of a beautiful and intellectual wife as the crown of a
successful literary career but he had not dared hope that such a triumph would
be his Life had been too hard with him on the whole He who hungered for
sympathy who thought of a womans love as the prize of mortals supremely
blessed had spent the fresh years of his youth in monkish solitude Now of a
sudden came friends and flattery aye and love itself He was rapt to the
seventh heaven
Indeed it seemed that the girl loved him She knew that he had but a
hundred pounds or so left over from that little inheritance that his books sold
for a trifle that he had no wealthy relatives from whom he could expect
anything yet she hesitated not a moment when he asked her to marry him
»I have loved you from the first«
»How is that possible« he urged »What is there lovable in me I am afraid
of waking up and finding myself in my old garret cold and hungry«
»You will be a great man«
»I implore you not to count on that In many ways I am wretchedly weak I
have no such confidence in myself«
»Then I will have confidence for both«
»But can you love me for my own sake love me as a man«
»I love you«
And the words sang about him filled the air with a mad pulsing of
intolerable joy made him desire to fling himself in passionate humility at her
feet to weep hot tears to cry to her in insane worship He thought her
beautiful beyond anything his heart had imagined her warm gold hair was the
rapture of his eyes and of his reverent hand Though slenderly fashioned she
was so gloriously strong »Not a day of illness in her life« said Mrs Yule and
one could readily believe it
She spoke with such a sweet decision Her »I love you« was a bond with
eternity In the simplest as in the greatest things she saw his wish and acted
frankly upon it No pretty petulance no affectation of sillysweet languishing
none of the weaknesses of woman And so exquisitely fresh in her twenty years of
maidenhood with bright young eyes that seemed to bid defiance to all the years
to come
He went about like one dazzled with excessive light He talked as he had
never talked before recklessly exultantly insolently in the nobler sense
He made friends on every hand he welcomed all the world to his bosom he felt
the benevolence of a God
»I love you« It breathed like music at his ears when he fell asleep in
weariness of joy it awakened him on the morrow as with a glorious ringing
summons to renewed life
Delay Why should there be delay Amy wished nothing but to become his wife
Idle to think of his doing any more work until he sat down in the home of which
she was mistress His brain burned with visions of the books he would henceforth
write but his hand was incapable of anything but a loveletter And what
letters Reardon never published anything equal to those »I have received your
poem« Amy replied to one of them And she was right not a letter but a poem
he had sent her with every word on fire
The hours of talk It enraptured him to find how much she had read and with
what clearness of understanding Latin and Greek no Ah but she should learn
them both that there might be nothing wanting in the communion between his
thought and hers For he loved the old writers with all his heart they had been
such strength to him in his days of misery
They would go together to the charmed lands of the South No not now for
their marriage holiday Amy said that would be an imprudent expense but as
soon as he had got a good price for a book Will not the publishers be kind If
they knew what happiness lurked in embryo within their foolish chequebooks
He woke of a sudden in the early hours of one morning a week before the
weddingday You know that kind of awaking so complete in an instant caused by
the pressure of some troublesome thought upon the dreaming brain »Suppose I
should not succeed henceforth Suppose I could never get more than this poor
hundred pounds for one of the long books which cost me so much labour I shall
perhaps have children to support and Amy how would Amy bear poverty«
He knew what poverty means The chilling of brain and heart the unnerving
of the hands the slow gathering about one of fear and shame and impotent wrath
the dread feeling of helplessness of the worlds base indifference Poverty
Poverty
And for hours he could not sleep His eyes kept filling with tears the
beating of his heart was low and in his solitude he called upon Amy with
pitiful entreaty »Do not forsake me I love you I love you«
But that went by Six days five days four days will ones heart burst
with happiness The flat is taken is furnished up there towards the sky eight
flights of stone steps
»Youre a confoundedly lucky fellow Reardon« remarked Milvain who had
already become very intimate with his new friend »A good fellow too and you
deserve it«
»But at first I had a horrible suspicion«
»I guess what you mean No I wasnt even in love with her though I admired
her She would never have cared for me in any case I am not sentimental
enough«
»The deuce«
»I mean it in an inoffensive sense She and I are rather too much alike I
fancy«
»How do you mean« asked Reardon puzzled and not very well pleased
»Theres a great deal of pure intellect about Miss Yule you know She was
sure to choose a man of the passionate kind«
»I think you are talking nonsense my dear fellow«
»Well perhaps I am To tell you the truth I have by no means completed my
study of women yet It is one of the things in which I hope to be a specialist
some day though I dont think I shall ever make use of it in novels rather
perhaps in life«
Three days two days one day
Now let every joyous sound which the great globe can utter ring forth in one
burst of harmony Is it not well done to make the villagebells chant merrily
when a marriage is over Here in London we can have no such music but for us
my dear one all the roaring life of the great city is weddinghymn Sweet pure
face under its bridalveil The face which shall if fate spare it be as dear
to me many a long year hence as now at the culminating moment of my life
As he trudged on in the dark his tortured memory was living through that
time again The images forced themselves upon him however much he tried to
think of quite other things of some fictitious story on which he might set to
work In the case of his earlier books he had waited quietly until some
suggestive situation some group of congenial characters came with sudden
delightfulness before his mind and urged him to write but nothing so
spontaneous could now be hoped for His brain was too weary with months of
fruitless harassing endeavour moreover he was trying to devise a plot the
kind of literary Jackinthebox which might excite interest in the mass of
readers and this was alien to the natural working of his imagination He
suffered the torments of nightmare an oppression of the brain and heart which
must soon be intolerable
Chapter 6
The Practical Friend
When her husband had set forth Amy seated herself in the study and took up a
new library volume as if to read But she had no real intention of doing so it
was always disagreeable to her to sit in the manner of one totally unoccupied
with hands on lap and even when she consciously gave herself up to musing an
open book was generally before her She did not in truth read much nowadays
since the birth of her child she had seemed to care less than before for
disinterested study If a new novel that had succeeded came into her hands she
perused it in a very practical spirit commenting to Reardon on the features of
the work which had made it popular formerly she would have thought much more
of its purely literary merits for which her eye was very keen How often she
had given her husband a thrill of exquisite pleasure by pointing to some merit
or defect of which the common reader would be totally insensible Now she spoke
less frequently on such subjects Her interests were becoming more personal she
liked to hear details of the success of popular authors about their wives or
husbands as the case might be their arrangements with publishers their
methods of work The gossip columns of literary papers and of some that were
not literary had an attraction for her She talked of questions such as
international copyright was anxious to get an insight into the practical
conduct of journals and magazines liked to know who read for the
publishinghouses To an impartial observer it might have appeared that her
intellect was growing more active and mature
More than half an hour passed It was not a pleasant train of thought that
now occupied her Her lips were drawn together her brows were slightly
wrinkled the selfcontrol which at other times was agreeably expressed upon her
features had become rather too cold and decided At one moment it seemed to her
that she heard a sound in the bedroom the doors were purposely left ajar and
her head turned quickly to listen the look in her eyes instantaneously
softening but all remained quiet The street would have been silent but for a
cab that now and then passed the swing of a hansom or the roll of a
fourwheeler and within the buildings nothing whatever was audible
Yes a footstep briskly mounting the stone stairs Not like that of the
postman A visitor perhaps to the other flat on the topmost landing But the
final pause was in this direction and then came a sharp rattat at the door
Amy rose immediately and went to open
Jasper Milvain raised his urban silk hat then held out his hand with the
greeting of frank friendship His inquiries were in so loud a voice that Amy
checked him with a forbidding gesture
»Youll wake Willie«
»By Jove I always forget« he exclaimed in subdued tones »Does the infant
flourish«
»Oh yes«
»Reardon out I got back on Saturday evening but couldnt come round before
this« It was Monday »How close it is in here I suppose the roof gets so
heated during the day Glorious weather in the country And Ive no end of
things to tell you He wont be long I suppose«
»I think not«
He left his hat and stick in the passage came into the study and glanced
about as if he expected to see some change since he was last here three weeks
ago
»So you have been enjoying yourself« said Amy as after listening for a
moment at the door she took a seat
»Oh a little freshening of the faculties But whose acquaintance do you
think I have made«
»Down there«
»Yes Your uncle Alfred and his daughter were staying at John Yules and I
saw something of them I was invited to the house«
»Did you speak of us«
»To Miss Yule only I happened to meet her on a walk and in a blundering
way I mentioned Reardons name But of course it didnt matter in the least She
inquired about you with a good deal of interest asked if you were as beautiful
as you promised to be years ago«
Amy laughed
»Doesnt that proceed from your fertile invention Mr Milvain«
»Not a bit of it Bytheby what would be your natural question concerning
her Do you think she gave promise of good looks«
»Im afraid I cant say that she did She had a good face but rather
plain«
»I see« Jasper threw back his head and seemed to contemplate an object in
memory »Well I shouldnt wonder if most people called her a trifle plain even
now and yet no thats hardly possible after all She has no colour Wears
her hair short«
»Short«
»Oh I dont mean the smooth boyish hair with a parting not the kind of
hair that would be lank if it grew long Curly all over Looks uncommonly well
I assure you She has a capital head Odd girl very odd girl Quiet thoughtful
not very happy Im afraid Seems to think with dread of a return to books«
»Indeed But I had understood that she was a reader«
»Reading enough for six people probably Perhaps her health is not very
robust Oh I knew her by sight quite well had seen her at the Readingroom
Shes the kind of girl that gets into ones head you know suggestive much
more in her than comes out until one knows her very well«
»Well I should hope so« remarked Amy with a peculiar smile
»But thats by no means a matter of course They didnt invite me to come
and see them in London«
»I suppose Marian mentioned your acquaintance with this branch of the
family«
»I think not At all events she promised me she wouldnt«
Amy looked at him inquiringly in a puzzled way
»She promised you«
»Voluntarily We got rather sympathetic Your uncle Alfred I mean is a
remarkable man but I think he regarded me as a youth of no particular
importance Well how do things go«
Amy shook her head
»No progress«
»None whatever He cant work I begin to be afraid that he is really ill
He must go away before the fine weather is over Do persuade him tonight I
wish you could have had a holiday with him«
»Out of the question now Im sorry to say I must work savagely But cant
you all manage a fortnight somewhere Hastings Eastbourne«
»It would be simply rash One goes on saying What does a pound or two
matter but it begins at length to matter a great deal«
»I know confound it all Think how it would amuse some rich grocers son
who pitches his halfsovereign to the waiter when he has dined himself into good
humour But I tell you what it is you must really try to influence him towards
practicality Dont you think «
He paused and Amy sat looking at her hands
»I have made an attempt« she said at length in a distant undertone
»You really have«
Jasper leaned forward his clasped hands hanging between his knees He was
scrutinising her face and Amy conscious of the too fixed regard at length
moved her head uneasily
»It seems very clear to me« she said »that a long book is out of the
question for him at present He writes so slowly and is so fastidious It would
be a fatal thing to hurry through something weaker even than the last«
»You think The Optimist weak« Jasper asked half absently
»I dont think it worthy of Edwin I dont see how anyone can«
»I have wondered what your opinion was Yes he ought to try a new tack I
think«
Just then there came the sound of a latchkey opening the outer door Jasper
lay back in his chair and waited with a smile for his expected friends
appearance Amy made no movement
»Oh there you are« said Reardon presenting himself with the dazzled eyes
of one who has been in darkness he spoke in a voice of genial welcome though
it still had the note of depression »When did you get back«
Milvain began to recount what he had told in the first part of his
conversation with Amy As he did so the latter withdrew and was absent for
five minutes on reappearing she said
»Youll have some supper with us Mr Milvain«
»I think I will please«
Shortly after all repaired to the eating room where conversation had to be
carried on in a low tone because of the proximity of the bedchamber in which lay
the sleeping child Jasper began to tell of certain things that had happened to
him since his arrival in town
»It was a curious coincidence but bytheby have you heard of what The
Study has been doing«
»I should rather think so« replied Reardon his face lighting up »With no
small satisfaction«
»Delicious isnt it« exclaimed his wife »I thought it too good to be true
when Edwin heard of it from Mr Biffen«
All three laughed in subdued chorus For the moment Reardon became a new
man in his exultation over the contradictory reviewers
»Oh Biffen told you did he Well« continued Jasper »it was an odd thing
but when I reached my lodgings on Saturday evening there lay a note from Horace
Barlow inviting me to go and see him on Sunday afternoon out at Wimbledon the
special reason being that the editor of The Study would be there and Barlow
thought I might like to meet him Now this letter gave me a fit of laughter not
only because of those precious reviews but because Alfred Yule had been telling
me all about this same editor who rejoices in the name of Fadge Your uncle
Mrs Reardon declares that Fadge is the most malicious man in the literary
profession though thats saying such a very great deal well never mind Of
course I was delighted to go and meet Fadge At Barlows I found the queerest
collection of people most of them women of the inkiest description The great
Fadge himself surprised me I expected to see a gaunt bilious man and he was
the rosiest and dumpiest little dandy you can imagine a fellow of fortyfive I
dare say with thin yellow hair and blue eyes and a manner of extreme innocence
Fadge flattered me with confidential chat and I discovered at length why Barlow
had asked me to meet him its Fadge that is going to edit Culpeppers new
monthly youve heard about it and he had actually thought it worth while to
enlist me among contributors Now hows that for a piece of news«
The speaker looked from Reardon to Amy with a smile of vast significance
»I rejoice to hear it« said Reardon fervently
»You see you see« cried Jasper forgetting all about the infant in the
next room »all things come to the man who knows how to wait But Im hanged if
I expected a thing of this kind to come so soon Why Im a man of distinction
My doings have been noted the admirable qualities of my style have drawn
attention Im looked upon as one of the coming men Thanks I confess in some
measure to old Barlow he seems to have amused himself with cracking me up to
all and sundry That last thing of mine in The West End has done me a vast
amount of good it seems And Alfred Yule himself had noticed that paper in The
Wayside Thats how things work you know reputation comes with a burst just
when youre not looking for anything of the kind«
»Whats the new magazine to be called« asked Amy
»Why they propose The Current Not bad in a way though you imagine a
fellow saying Have you seen the current Current At all events the tone is to
be up to date and the articles are to be short no padding merum sel from
cover to cover What do you think I have undertaken to do for a start A paper
consisting of sketches of typical readers of each of the principal daily and
weekly papers A deuced good idea you know my own of course but deucedly
hard to carry out I shall rise to the occasion see if I dont Ill rival
Fadge himself in maliciousness though I must confess I discovered no
particular malice in the fellows way of talking The article shall make a
sensation Ill spend a whole month on it and make it a perfect piece of
satire«
»Now thats the kind of thing that inspires me with awe and envy« said
Reardon »I could no more write such a paper than an article on Fluxions«
»Tis my vocation Hal You might think I hadnt experience enough to begin
with But my intuition is so strong that I can make a little experience go an
immense way Most people would imagine I had been wasting my time these last few
years just sauntering about reading nothing but periodicals making
acquaintance with loafers of every description The truth is I have been
collecting ideas and ideas that are convertible into coin of the realm my boy
I have the special faculty of an extempore writer Never in my life shall I do
anything of solid literary value I shall always despise the people I write for
But my path will be that of success I have always said it and now Im sure of
it«
»Does Fadge retire from The Study then« inquired Reardon when he had
received this tirade with a friendly laugh
»Yes he does Was going to it seems in any case Of course I heard
nothing about the two reviews and I was almost afraid to smile whilst Fadge was
talking with me lest I should betray my thought Did you know anything about
the fellow before«
»Not I Didnt know who edited The Study«
»Nor I either Remarkable what a number of illustrious obscure are going
about But I still have something else to tell you Im going to set my sisters
afloat in literature«
»How«
»Well I dont see why they shouldnt try their hands at a little writing
instead of giving lessons which doesnt suit them a bit Last night when I got
back from Wimbledon I went to look up Davies Perhaps you dont remember my
mentioning him a fellow who was at Jolly and Monks the publishers up to a
year ago He edits a trade journal now and I see very little of him However I
found him at home and had a long practical talk with him I wanted to find out
the state of the market as to such wares as Jolly and Monk dispose of He gave
me some very useful hints and the result was that I went off this morning and
saw Monk himself no Jolly exists at present Mr Monk I began in my blandest
tone you know it I am requested to call upon you by a lady who thinks of
preparing a little volume to be called »A Childs History of the English
Parliament« Her idea is that and so on Well I got on admirably with Monk
especially when he learnt that I was to be connected with Culpeppers new
venture he smiled upon the project and said he should be very glad to see a
specimen chapter if that pleased him we could then discuss terms«
»But has one of your sisters really begun such a book« inquired Amy
»Neither of them knows anything of the matter but they are certainly
capable of doing the kind of thing I have in mind which will consist largely of
anecdotes of prominent statesmen I myself shall write the specimen chapter and
send it to the girls to show them what I propose I shouldnt wonder if they
make some fifty pounds out of it The few books that will be necessary they can
either get at a Wattleborough library or I can send them«
»Your energy is remarkable all of a sudden« said Reardon
»Yes The hour has come I find There is a tide to quote something that
has the charm of freshness«
The supper which consisted of bread and butter cheese sardines cocoa
was now over and Jasper still enlarging on his recent experiences and future
prospects led the way back to the sittingroom Not very long after this Amy
left the two friends to their pipes she was anxious that her husband should
discuss his affairs privately with Milvain and give ear to the practical advice
which she knew would be tendered him
»I hear that you are still stuck fast« began Jasper when they had smoked
awhile in silence
»Yes«
»Getting rather serious I should fear isnt it«
»Yes« repeated Reardon in a low voice
»Come come old man you cant go on in this way Would it or wouldnt it
be any use if you took a seaside holiday«
»Not the least I am incapable of holiday if the opportunity were offered
Do something I must or I shall fret myself into imbecility«
»Very well What is it to be«
»I shall try to manufacture two volumes They neednt run to more than about
two hundred and seventy pages and those well spaced out«
»This is refreshing This is practical But look now let it be something
rather sensational Couldnt we invent a good title something to catch eye and
ear The title would suggest the story you know«
Reardon laughed contemptuously but the scorn was directed rather against
himself than Milvain
»Lets try« he muttered
Both appeared to exercise their minds on the problem for a few minutes Then
Jasper slapped his knee
»How would this do The Weird Sisters Devilish good eh Suggests all sorts
of things both to the vulgar and the educated Nothing brutally claptrap about
it you know«
»But what does it suggest to you«
»Oh witchlike mysterious girls or women Think it over«
There was another long silence Reardons face was that of a man in blank
misery
»I have been trying« he said at length after an attempt to speak which was
checked by a huskiness in his throat »to explain to myself how this state of
things has come about I almost think I can do so«
»How«
»That halfyear abroad and the extraordinary shock of happiness which
followed at once upon it have disturbed the balance of my nature It was
adjusted to circumstances of hardship privation struggle A temperament like
mine cant pass through such a violent change of conditions without being
greatly affected I have never since been the man I was before I left England
The stage I had then reached was the result of a slow and elaborate building up
I could look back and see the processes by which I had grown from the boy who
was a mere bookworm to the man who had all but succeeded as a novelist It was a
perfectly natural sober development But in the last two years and a half I can
distinguish no order In living through it I have imagined from time to time
that my powers were coming to their ripest but that was mere delusion
Intellectually I have fallen back The probability is that this wouldnt
matter if only I could live on in peace of mind I should recover my
equilibrium and perhaps once more understand myself But the due course of
things is troubled by my poverty«
He spoke in a slow meditative way in a monotonous voice and without
raising his eyes from the ground
»I can understand« put in Jasper »that there may be philosophical truth in
all this All the same its a great pity that you should occupy your mind with
such thoughts«
»A pity no I must remain a reasoning creature Disaster may end by
driving me out of my wits but till then I wont abandon my heritage of
thought«
»Let us have it out then You think it was a mistake to spend those months
abroad«
»A mistake from the practical point of view That vast broadening of my
horizon lost me the command of my literary resources I lived in Italy and
Greece as a student concerned especially with the old civilisations I read
little but Greek and Latin That brought me out of the track I had laboriously
made for myself I often thought with disgust of the kind of work I had been
doing my novels seemed vapid stuff so wretchedly and shallowly modern If I
had had the means I should have devoted myself to the life of a scholar That
I quite believe is my natural life its only the influence of recent
circumstances that has made me a writer of novels A man who cant journalise
yet must earn his bread by literature nowadays inevitably turns to fiction as
the Elizabethan men turned to the drama Well but I should have got back I
think into the old line of work It was my marriage that completed what the
time abroad had begun«
He looked up suddenly and added
»I am speaking as if to myself You of course dont misunderstand me and
think I am accusing my wife«
»No I dont take you to mean that by any means«
»No no of course not All thats wrong is my accursed want of money But
that threatens to be such a fearful wrong that I begin to wish I had died
before my marriage day Then Amy would have been saved The Philistines are
right a man has no business to marry unless he has a secured income equal to
all natural demands I behaved with the grossest selfishness I might have known
that such happiness was never meant for me«
»Do you mean by all this that you seriously doubt whether you will ever be
able to write again«
»In awful seriousness I doubt it« replied Reardon with haggard face
»It strikes me as extraordinary In your position I should work as I never
had done before«
»Because you are the kind of man who is roused by necessity I am overcome
by it My nature is feeble and luxurious I never in my life encountered and
overcame a practical difficulty«
»Yes when you got the work at the hospital«
»All I did was to write a letter and chance made it effective«
»My view of the case Reardon is that you are simply ill«
»Certainly I am but the ailment is desperately complicated Tell me do
you think I might possibly get any kind of stated work to do Should I be fit
for any place in a newspaper office for instance«
»I fear not You are the last man to have anything to do with journalism«
»If I appealed to my publishers could they help me«
»I dont see how They would simply say Write a book and well buy it«
»Yes theres no help but that«
»If only you were able to write short stories Fadge might be useful«
»But whats the use I suppose I might get ten guineas at most for such a
story I need a couple of hundred pounds at least Even if I could finish a
threevolume book I doubt if they would give me a hundred again after the
failure of The Optimist no they wouldnt«
»But to sit and look forward in this way is absolutely fatal my dear
fellow Get to work at your twovolume story Call it The Weird Sisters or
anything better that you can devise but get it done so many pages a day If I
go ahead as I begin to think I shall I shall soon be able to assure you good
notices in a lot of papers Your misfortune has been that you had no influential
friends Bytheby how has The Study been in the habit of treating you«
»Scrubbily«
»Ill make an opportunity of talking about your books to Fadge I think
Fadge and I shall get on pretty well together Alfred Yule hates the man
fiercely for some reason or other By the way I may as well tell you that I
broke short off with the Yules on purpose«
»Oh«
»I had begun to think far too much about the girl Wouldnt do you know I
must marry someone with money and a good deal of it Thats a settled point
with me«
»Then you are not at all likely to meet them in London«
»Not at all And if I get allied with Fadge no doubt Yule will involve me
in his savage feeling You see how wisely I acted I have a scent for the
prudent course«
They talked for a long time but again chiefly of Milvains affairs
Reardon indeed cared little to say anything more about his own Talk was mere
vanity and vexation of spirit for the spring of his volition seemed to be
broken and whatever resolve he might utter he knew that everything depended
on influences he could not even foresee
Chapter 7
Marians Home
Three weeks after her return from the country which took place a week later
than that of Jasper Milvain Marian Yule was working one afternoon at her usual
place in the Museum Readingroom It was three oclock and with the interval of
half an hour at midday when she went away for a cup of tea and a sandwich she
had been closely occupied since halfpast nine Her task at present was to
collect materials for a paper on French Authoresses of the Seventeenth Century
the kind of thing which her father supplied on stipulated terms for anonymous
publication Marian was by this time almost able to complete such a piece of
manufacture herself and her fathers share in it was limited to a few hints and
corrections The greater part of the work by which Yule earned his moderate
income was anonymous volumes and articles which bore his signature dealt with
much the same subjects as his unsigned matter but the writing was laboured with
a conscientiousness unusual in men of his position The result unhappily was
not correspondent with the efforts Alfred Yule had made a recognisable name
among the critical writers of the day seeing him in the titlelists of a
periodical most people knew what to expect but not a few forbore the cutting
open of the pages he occupied He was learned copious occasionally mordant in
style but grace had been denied to him He had of late begun to perceive the
fact that those passages of Marians writing which were printed just as they
came from her pen had merit of a kind quite distinct from anything of which he
himself was capable and it began to be a question with him whether it would not
be advantageous to let the girl sign these compositions A matter of business
to be sure at all events in the first instance.
For a long time Marian had scarcely looked up from the desk but at this
moment she found it necessary to refer to the invaluable Larousse As so often
happened the particular volume of which she had need was not upon the shelf
she turned away and looked about her with a gaze of weary disappointment At a
little distance were standing two young men engaged as their faces showed in
facetious colloquy as soon as she observed them Marians eyes fell but the
next moment she looked again in that direction Her face had wholly changed she
wore a look of timid expectancy
The men were moving towards her still talking and laughing She turned to
the shelves and affected to search for a book The voices drew near and one of
them was well known to her now she could hear every word now the speakers were
gone by Was it possible that Mr Milvain had not recognised her She followed
him with her eyes and saw him take a seat not far off he must have passed
without even being aware of her
She went back to her place and for some minutes sat trifling with a pen
When she made a show of resuming work it was evident that she could no longer
apply herself as before Every now and then she glanced at people who were
passing there were intervals when she wholly lost herself in reverie She was
tired and had even a slight headache When the hand of the clock pointed to
halfpast three she closed the volume from which she had been copying extracts
and began to collect her papers
A voice spoke close behind her
»Wheres your father Miss Yule«
The speaker was a man of sixty short stout tonsured by the hand of time
He had a broad flabby face the colour of an ancient turnip save where one of
the cheeks was marked with a mulberry stain his eyes greyorbed in a yellow
setting glared with goodhumoured inquisitiveness and his mouth was that of
the confirmed gossip For eyebrows he had two little patches of reddish stubble
for moustache what looked like a bit of discoloured tow and scraps of similar
material hanging beneath his creasy chin represented a beard His garb must have
seen a great deal of Museum service it consisted of a jacket something between
brown and blue hanging in capacious shapelessness a waistcoat half open for
lack of buttons and with one of the pockets coming unsewn a pair of bronzehued
trousers which had all run to knee Necktie he had none and his linen made
distinct appeal to the laundress
Marian shook hands with him
»He went away at halfpast two« was her reply to his question
»How annoying I wanted particularly to see him I have been running about
all day and couldnt get here before Something important most important At
all events I can tell you But I entreat that you wont breathe a word save to
your father«
Mr Quarmby that was his name had taken a vacant chair and drawn it close
to Marians He was in a state of joyous excitement and talked in thick rather
pompous tones with a pant at the end of a sentence To emphasize the extremely
confidential nature of his remarks he brought his head almost in contact with
the girls and one of her thin delicate hands was covered with his red podgy
fingers
»Ive had a talk with Nathaniel Walker« he continued »a long talk a talk
of vast importance You know Walker No no how should you Hes a man of
business close friend of Racketts Rackett you know the owner of The Study
«
Upon this he made a grave pause and glared more excitedly than ever
»I have heard of Mr Rackett« said Marian
»Of course of course And you must also have heard that Fadge leaves The
Study at the end of this year eh«
»Father told me it was probable«
»Rackett and he have done nothing but quarrel for months the paper is
falling off seriously Well now when I came across Nat Walker this afternoon
the first thing he said to me was You know Alfred Yule pretty well I think
Pretty well I answered why Ill tell you he said but its between you and
me you understand Rackett is thinking about him in connection with The Study
Im delighted to hear it To tell you the truth went on Nat I shouldnt wonder
if Yule gets the editorship but you understand that it would be altogether
premature to talk about it Now what do you think of this eh«
»Its very good news« answered Marian
»I should think so Ho ho«
Mr Quarmby laughed in a peculiar way which was the result of long years of
mirthsubdual in the Readingroom
»But not a breath to anyone but your father Hell be here tomorrow Break
it gently to him you know hes an excitable man cant take things quietly
like I do Ho ho«
His suppressed laugh ended in a fit of coughing the Readingroom cough
When he had recovered from it he pressed Marians hand with paternal fervour
and waddled off to chatter with someone else
Marian replaced several books on the reference shelves returned others to
the central desk and was just leaving the room when again a voice made demand
upon her attention
»Miss Yule One moment if you please«
It was a tall meagre dryfeatured man dressed with the painful neatness
of selfrespecting poverty the edges of his coatsleeves were carefully darned
his black necktie and a skullcap which covered his baldness were evidently of
home manufacture He smiled softly and timidly with blue rheumy eyes Two or
three recent cuts on his chin and neck were the result of conscientious shaving
with an unsteady hand
»I have been looking for your father« he said as Marian turned »Isnt he
here«
»He has gone Mr Hinks«
»Ah then would you do me the kindness to take a book for him In fact its
my little Essay on the Historical Drama just out«
He spoke with nervous hesitation and in a tone which seemed to make apology
for his existence
»Oh father will be very glad to have it«
»If you will kindly wait one minute Miss Yule Its at my place over
there«
He went off with long strides and speedily came back panting in his hand a
thin new volume
»My kind regards to him Miss Yule You are quite well I hope I wont
detain you«
And he backed into a man who was coming inobservantly this way
Marian went to the ladies cloakroom put on her hat and jacket and left
the Museum Some one passed out through the swingdoor a moment before her and
as soon as she had issued beneath the portico she saw that it was Jasper
Milvain she must have followed him through the hall but her eyes had been cast
down The young man was now alone as he descended the steps he looked to left
and right but not behind him Marian followed at a distance of two or three
yards Nearing the gateway she quickened her pace a little so as to pass out
into the street almost at the same moment as Milvain But he did not turn his
head
He took to the right Marian had fallen back again but she still followed
at a very little distance His walk was slow and she might easily have passed
him in quite a natural way in that case he could not help seeing her But there
was an uneasy suspicion in her mind that he really must have noticed her in the
Readingroom This was the first time she had seen him since their parting at
Finden Had he any reason for avoiding her Did he take it ill that her father
had shown no desire to keep up his acquaintance
She allowed the interval between them to become greater In a minute or two
Milvain turned up Charlotte Street and so she lost sight of him
In Tottenham Court Road she waited for an omnibus that would take her to the
remoter part of Camden Town obtaining a corner seat she drew as far back as
possible and paid no attention to her fellowpassengers At a point in Camden
Road she at length alighted and after ten minutes walk reached her destination
in a quiet byway called St Pauls Crescent consisting of small decent houses
That at which she paused had an exterior promising comfort within the windows
were clean and neatly curtained and the polishable appurtenances of the door
gleamed to perfection She admitted herself with a latchkey and went straight
upstairs without encountering anyone
Descending again in a few moments she entered the front room on the
groundfloor This served both as parlour and diningroom it was comfortably
furnished without much attempt at adornment On the walls were a few autotypes
and old engravings A recess between fireplace and window was fitted with
shelves which supported hundreds of volumes the overflow of Yules library
The table was laid for a meal It best suited the convenience of the family to
dine at five oclock a long evening so necessary to most literary people was
thus assured Marian as always when she had spent a day at the Museum was
faint with weariness and hunger she cut a small piece of bread from a loaf on
the table and sat down in an easy chair
Presently appeared a short slight woman of middle age plainly dressed in
serviceable grey Her face could never have been very comely and it expressed
but moderate intelligence its lines however were those of gentleness and good
feeling She had the look of one who is making a painful effort to understand
something this was fixed upon her features and probably resulted from the
peculiar conditions of her life
»Rather early arent you Marian« she said as she closed the door and
came forward to take a seat
»Yes I have a little headache«
»Oh dear Is that beginning again«
Mrs Yules speech was seldom ungrammatical and her intonation was not
flagrantly vulgar but the accent of the London poor which brands as with
hereditary baseness still clung to her words rendering futile such propriety
of phrase as she owed to years of association with educated people In the same
degree did her bearing fall short of that which distinguishes a lady The London
workgirl is rarely capable of raising herself or being raised to a place in
life above that to which she was born she cannot learn how to stand and sit and
move like a woman bred to refinement any more than she can fashion her tongue
to graceful speech Mrs Yules behaviour to Marian was marked with a singular
diffidence she looked and spoke affectionately but not with a mothers
freedom one might have taken her for a trusted servant waiting upon her
mistress Whenever opportunity offered she watched the girl in a curiously
furtive way that puzzled look on her face becoming very noticeable Her
consciousness was never able to accept as a familiar and unimportant fact the
vast difference between herself and her daughter Marians superiority in native
powers in delicacy of feeling in the results of education could never be lost
sight of Under ordinary circumstances she addressed the girl as if tentatively
however sure of anything from her own point of view she knew that Marian as
often as not had quite a different criterion She understood that the girl
frequently expressed an opinion by mere reticence and hence the carefulness
with which when conversing she tried to discover the real effect of her words
in Marians features
»Hungry too« she said seeing the crust Marian was nibbling »You really
must have more lunch dear It isnt right to go so long youll make yourself
ill«
»Have you been out« Marian asked
»Yes I went to Holloway«
Mrs Yule sighed and looked very unhappy By going to Holloway was always
meant a visit to her own relatives a married sister with three children and a
brother who inhabited the same house To her husband she scarcely ever ventured
to speak of these persons Yule had no intercourse with them But Marian was
always willing to listen sympathetically and her mother often exhibited a
touching gratitude for this condescension as she deemed it
»Are things no better« the girl inquired
»Worse as far as I can see John has begun his drinking again and him and
Tom quarrel every night theres no peace in the ouse«
If ever Mrs Yule lapsed into gross errors of pronunciation or phrase it was
when she spoke of her kinsfolk The subject seemed to throw her back into a
former condition
»He ought to go and live by himself« said Marian referring to her mothers
brother the thirsty John
»So he ought to be sure Im always telling them so But there you dont
seem to be able to persuade them theyre that silly and obstinate And Susan
she only gets angry with me and tells me not to talk in a stuckup way Im
sure I never say a word that could offend her Im too careful for that And
theres Annie no doing anything with her Shes about the streets at all hours
and whatll be the end of it no one can say Theyre getting that ragged all of
them It isnt Susans fault indeed it isnt She does all that woman can But
Tom hasnt brought home ten shillings the last month and it seems to me as if
he was getting careless I gave her half a crown it was all I could do And the
worst of it is they think I could do so much more if I liked Theyre always
hinting that we are rich people and its no good my trying to persuade them
They think Im telling falsehoods and its very hard to be looked at in that
way it is indeed Marian«
»You cant help it mother I suppose their suffering makes them unkind and
unjust«
»Thats just what it does my dear you never said anything truer Poverty
will make the best people bad if it gets hard enough Why theres so much of it
in the world Im sure I cant see«
»I suppose father will be back soon«
»He said dinnertime«
»Mr Quarmby has been telling me something which is wonderfully good news if
its really true but I cant help feeling doubtful He says that father may
perhaps be made editor of The Study at the end of this year«
Mrs Yule of course understood in outline these affairs of the literary
world she thought of them only from the pecuniary point of view but that made
no essential distinction between her and the mass of literary people
»My word« she exclaimed »What a thing that would be for us«
Marian had begun to explain her reluctance to base any hopes on Mr Quarmbys
prediction when the sound of a postmans knock at the housedoor caused her
mother to disappear for a moment
»Its for you« said Mrs Yule returning »From the country«
Marian took the letter and examined its address with interest
»It must be one of the Miss Milvains Yes Dora Milvain«
After Jaspers departure from Finden his sisters had seen Marian several
times and the mutual liking between her and them had been confirmed by
opportunity of conversation The promise of correspondence had hitherto waited
for fulfilment It seemed natural to Marian that the younger of the two girls
should write Maud was attractive and agreeable and probably clever but Dora
had more spontaneity in friendship
»It will amuse you to hear« wrote Dora »that the literary project our
brother mentioned in a letter whilst you were still here is really to come to
something He has sent us a specimen chapter written by himself of the Childs
History of Parliament and Maud thinks she could carry it on in that style if
theres no hurry She and I have both set to work on English histories and we
shall be authorities before long Jolly and Monk offer thirty pounds for the
little book if it suits them when finished with certain possible profits in
the future Trust Jasper for making a bargain So perhaps our literary career
will be something more than a joke after all I hope it may anything rather
than a life of teaching We shall be so glad to hear from you if you still care
to trouble about country girls«
And so on Marian read with a pleased smile then acquainted her mother with
the contents
»Im very glad« said Mrs Yule »its so seldom you get a letter«
»Yes«
Marian seemed desirous of saying something more and her mother had a
thoughtful look suggestive of sympathetic curiosity
»Is their brother likely to call here« Mrs Yule asked with misgiving
»No one has invited him to« was the girls quiet reply
»He wouldnt come without that«
»Its not likely that he even knows the address«
»Your father wont be seeing him I suppose«
»By chance perhaps I dont know«
It was very rare indeed for these two to touch upon any subject save those
of everyday interest In spite of the affection between them their exchange of
confidence did not go very far Mrs Yule who had never exercised maternal
authority since Marians earliest childhood claimed no maternal privileges and
Marians natural reserve had been strengthened by her mothers respectful
aloofness The English fault of domestic reticence could scarcely go further
than it did in their case its exaggeration is of course one of the
characteristics of those unhappy families severed by differences of education
between the old and young
»I think« said Marian in a forced tone »that father hasnt much liking
for Mr Milvain«
She wished to know if her mother had heard any private remarks on this
subject but she could not bring herself to ask directly
»Im sure I dont know« replied Mrs Yule smoothing her dress »He hasnt
said anything to me Marian«
An awkward silence The mother had fixed her eyes on the mantelpiece and
was thinking hard
»Otherwise« said Marian »he would have said something I should think
about meeting in London«
»But is there anything in this gentleman that he wouldnt like«
»I dont know of anything«
Impossible to pursue the dialogue Marian moved uneasily then rose said
something about putting the letter away and left the room
Shortly after Alfred Yule entered the house It was no uncommon thing for
him to come home in a mood of silent moroseness and this evening the first
glimpse of his face was sufficient warning He entered the diningroom and stood
on the hearthrug reading an evening paper His wife made a pretence of
straightening things upon the table
»Well« he exclaimed irritably »Its after five why isnt dinner served«
»Its just coming Alfred«
Even the average man of a certain age is an alarming creature when dinner
delays itself the literary man in such a moment goes beyond all parallel If
there be added the fact that he has just returned from a very unsatisfactory
interview with a publisher wife and daughter may indeed regard the situation as
appalling Marian came in and at once observed her mothers frightened face
»Father« she said hoping to make a diversion »Mr Hinks has sent you his
new book and wishes «
»Then take Mr Hinkss new book back to him and tell him that I have quite
enough to do without reading tedious trash He neednt expect that Im going to
write a notice of it The simpleton pesters me beyond endurance I wish to know
if you please« he added with savage calm »when dinner will be ready If
theres time to write a few letters just tell me at once that I maynt waste
half an hour«
Marian resented this unreasonable anger but she durst not reply At that
moment the servant appeared with a smoking joint and Mrs Yule followed carrying
dishes of vegetables The man of letters seated himself and carved angrily He
began his meal by drinking half a glass of ale then he ate a few mouthfuls in a
quick hungry way his head bent closely over the plate It happened commonly
enough that dinner passed without a word of conversation and that seemed likely
to be the case this evening To his wife Yule seldom addressed anything but a
curt inquiry or caustic comment if he spoke humanly at table it was to Marian
Ten minutes passed then Marian resolved to try any means of clearing the
atmosphere
»Mr Quarmby gave me a message for you« she said »A friend of his
Nathaniel Walker has told him that Mr Rackett will very likely offer you the
editorship of The Study«
Yule stopped in the act of mastication He fixed his eyes intently on the
sirloin for half a minute then by way of the beerjug and the saltcellar
turned them upon Marians face
»Walker told him that Pooh«
»It was a great secret I wasnt to breathe a word to anyone but you«
»Walkers a fool and Quarmbys an ass« remarked her father
But there was a tremulousness in his bushy eyebrows his forehead half
unwreathed itself he continued to eat more slowly and as if with appreciation
of the viands
»What did he say Repeat it to me in his words«
Marian did so as nearly as possible He listened with a scoffing
expression but still his features relaxed
»I dont credit Rackett with enough good sense for such a proposal« he said
deliberately »And Im not very sure that I should accept it if it were made
That fellow Fadge has all but ruined the paper It will amuse me to see how long
it takes him to make Culpeppers new magazine a distinct failure«
A silence of five minutes ensued then Yule said of a sudden
»Where is Hinkss book«
Marian reached it from a side table under this roof literature was
regarded almost as a necessary part of table garnishing
»I thought it would be bigger than this« Yule muttered as he opened the
volume in a way peculiar to bookish men
A page was turned down as if to draw attention to some passage Yule put on
his eyeglasses and soon made a discovery which had the effect of completing the
transformation of his visage His eyes glinted his chin worked in pleasurable
emotion In a moment he handed the book to Marian indicating the small type of
a footnote it embodied an effusive eulogy introduced à propos of some
literary discussion of »Mr Alfred Yules critical acumen scholarly research
lucid style« and sundry other distinguished merits
»That is kind of him« said Marian
»Good old Hinks I suppose I must try to get him half a dozen readers«
»May I see« asked Mrs Yule under her breath bending to Marian
Her daughter passed on the volume and Mrs Yule read the footnote with that
look of slow apprehension which is so pathetic when it signifies the hearts
goodwill thwarted by the mind's defect
»Thatll be good for you Alfred wont it« she said glancing at her
husband
»Certainly« he replied with a smile of contemptuous irony »If Hinks goes
on hell establish my reputation«
And he took a draught of ale like one who is reinvigorated for the battle
of life Marian regarding him askance mused on what seemed to her a strange
anomaly in his character it had often surprised her that a man of his
temperament and powers should be so dependent upon the praise and blame of
people whom he justly deemed his inferiors
Yule was glancing over the pages of the work
»A pity the man cant write English What a vocabulary Obstruent reliable
particularization fabulosity different to averse to did one ever come
across such a mixture of antique pedantry and modern vulgarism Surely he has
his name from the German hinken eh Marian«
With a laugh he tossed the book away again His mood was wholly changed He
gave various evidences of enjoying the meal and began to talk freely with his
daughter
»Finished the authoresses«
»Not quite«
»No hurry When you have time I want you to read Ditchleys new book and
jot down a selection of his worst sentences Ill use them for an article on
contemporary style it occurred to me this afternoon«
He smiled grimly Mrs Yules face exhibited much contentment which became
radiant joy when her husband remarked casually that the custard was very well
made today Dinner over he rose without ceremony and went off to his study
The man had suffered much and toiled stupendously It was not inexplicable
that dyspepsia and many another ill that literary flesh is heir to racked him
sore
Go back to the days when he was an assistant at a booksellers in Holborn
Already ambition devoured him and the genuine love of knowledge goaded his
brain He allowed himself but three or four hours of sleep he wrought doggedly
at languages ancient and modern he tried his hand at metrical translations he
planned tragedies Practically he was living in a past age his literary ideals
were formed on the study of Boswell
The head assistant in the shop went away to pursue a business which had come
into his hands on the death of a relative it was a small publishing concern
housed in an alley off the Strand and Mr Polo a singular name to become well
known in the course of time had his ideas about its possible extension Among
other instances of activity he started a penny weekly paper called All Sorts
and in the pages of this periodical Alfred Yule first appeared as an author
Before long he became subeditor of All Sorts then actual director of the
paper He said goodbye to the bookseller and his literary career fairly began
Mr Polo used to say that he never knew a man who could work so many
consecutive hours as Alfred Yule A faithful account of all that the young man
learnt and wrote from 1855 to 1860 that is from his twentyfifth to his
thirtieth year would have the look of burlesque exaggeration He had set it
before him to become a celebrated man and he was not unaware that the
attainment of that end would cost him quite exceptional labour seeing that
nature had not favoured him with brilliant parts No matter his name should be
spoken among men unless he killed himself in the struggle for success
In the meantime he married Living in a garret and supplying himself with
the materials of his scanty meals he was in the habit of making purchases at a
little chandlers shop where he was waited upon by a young girl of no beauty
but as it seemed to him of amiable disposition One holiday he met this girl
as she was walking with a younger sister in the streets he made her nearer
acquaintance and before long she consented to be his wife and share his garret
His brothers John and Edmund cried out that he had made an unpardonable fool
of himself in marrying so much beneath him that he might well have waited until
his income improved This was all very well but they might just as reasonably
have bidden him reject plain food because a few years hence he would be able to
purchase luxuries he could not do without nourishment of some sort and the
time had come when he could not do without a wife Many a man with brains but no
money has been compelled to the same step Educated girls have a pronounced
distaste for London garrets not one in fifty thousands would share poverty with
the brightest genius ever born Seeing that marriage is so often indispensable
to that very success which would enable a man of parts to mate equally there is
nothing for it but to look below ones own level and be grateful to the
untaught woman who has pity on ones loneliness
Unfortunately Alfred Yule was not so grateful as he might have been His
marriage proved far from unsuccessful he might have found himself united to a
vulgar shrew whereas the girl had the great virtues of humility and kindliness
She endeavoured to learn of him but her dulness and his impatience made this
attempt a failure her human qualities had to suffice And they did until Yule
began to lift his head above the literary mob Previously he often lost his
temper with her but never expressed or felt repentance of his marriage now he
began to see only the disadvantages of his position and forgetting the facts
of the case to imagine that he might well have waited for a wife who could
share his intellectual existence Mrs Yule had to pass through a few years of
much bitterness Already a martyr to dyspepsia and often suffering from bilious
headaches of extreme violence her husband now and then lost all control of his
temper all sense of kind feeling even of decency and reproached the poor
woman with her ignorance her stupidity her low origin Naturally enough she
defended herself with such weapons as a sense of cruel injustice supplied More
than once the two all but parted It did not come to an actual rupture chiefly
because Yule could not do without his wife her tendance had become
indispensable And then there was the child to consider
From the first it was Yules dread lest Marian should be infected with her
mothers faults of speech and behaviour He would scarcely permit his wife to
talk to the child At the earliest possible moment Marian was sent to a
dayschool and in her tenth year she went as weekly boarder to an establishment
at Fulham any sacrifice of money to insure her growing up with the tongue and
manners of a lady It can scarcely have been a light trial to the mother to know
that contact with her was regarded as her childs greatest danger but in her
humility and her love for Marian she offered no resistance And so it came to
pass that one day the little girl hearing her mother make some flagrant
grammatical error turned to the other parent and asked gravely »Why doesnt
mother speak as properly as we do« Well that is one of the results of such
marriages one of the myriad miseries that result from poverty
The end was gained at all hazards Marian grew up everything that her father
desired Not only had she the bearing of refinement but it early became obvious
that nature had well endowed her with brains From the nursery her talk was of
books and at the age of twelve she was already able to give her father some
assistance as an amanuensis
At that time Edmund Yule was still living he had overcome his prejudices
and there was intercourse between his household and that of the literary man
Intimacy it could not be called for Mrs Edmund who was the daughter of a
lawstationer had much difficulty in behaving to Mrs Alfred with show of
suavity Still the cousins Amy and Marian from time to time saw each other and
were not unsuitable companions It was the death of Amys father that brought
these relations to an end left to the control of her own affairs Mrs Edmund was
not long in giving offence to Mrs Alfred and so to Alfred himself The man of
letters might be inconsiderate enough in his behaviour to his wife but as soon
as anyone else treated her with disrespect that was quite another matter Purely
on this account he quarrelled violently with his brothers widow and from that
day the two families kept apart
The chapter of quarrels was one of no small importance in Alfreds life his
difficult temper and an ever increasing sense of neglected merit frequently
put him at war with publishers editors fellow authors and he had an unhappy
trick of exciting the hostility of men who were most likely to be useful to him
With Mr Polo for instance who held him in esteem and whose commercial success
made him a valuable connection Alfred ultimately broke on a trifling matter of
personal dignity Later came the great quarrel with Clement Fadge an affair of
considerable advantage in the way of advertisement to both the men concerned It
happened in the year 1873 At that time Yule was editor of a weekly paper called
The Balance a literary organ which aimed high and failed to hit the
circulation essential to its existence Fadge a younger man did reviewing for
The Balance he was in needy circumstances and had wrought himself into Yules
good opinion by judicious flattery But with a clear eye for the main chance Mr
Fadge soon perceived that Yule could only be of temporary use to him and that
the editor of a wellestablished weekly which lost no opportunity of throwing
scorn upon Yule and all his works would be a much more profitable conquest He
succeeded in transferring his services to the more flourishing paper and struck
out a special line of work by the free exercise of a malicious flippancy which
was then without rival in the periodical press When he had thoroughly got his
hand in it fell to Mr Fadge in the mere way of business to review a volume of
his old editors a rather pretentious and longwinded but far from worthless
essay »On Imagination as a National Characteristic« The notice was a
masterpiece its exquisite virulence set the literary circles chuckling
Concerning the authorship there was no mystery and Alfred Yule had the
indiscretion to make a violent reply a savage assault upon Fadge in the
columns of The Balance Fadge desired nothing better the uproar which arose
chaff fury grave comments sneering spite could only result in drawing
universal attention to his anonymous cleverness and throwing ridicule upon the
heavy conscientious man Well you probably remember all about it It ended in
the disappearance of Yules struggling paper and the establishment on a firm
basis of Fadges reputation
It would be difficult to mention any department of literary endeavour in
which Yule did not at one time or another try his fortune Turn to his name in
the Museum Catalogue the list of works appended to it will amuse you In his
thirtieth year he published a novel it failed completely and the same result
awaited a similar experiment five years later He wrote a drama of modern life
and for some years strove to get it acted but in vain finally it appeared for
the closet giving Clement Fadge such an opportunity as he seldom enjoyed The
one noteworthy thing about these productions and about others of equally
mistaken direction was the sincerity of their workmanship Had Yule been
content to manufacture a novel or a play with due disregard for literary honour
he might perchance have made a mercantile success but the poor fellow had not
pliancy enough for this He took his efforts au grand sérieux thought he was
producing works of art pursued his ambition in a spirit of fierce
conscientiousness In spite of all he remained only a journeyman The kind of
work he did best was poorly paid and could bring no fame At the age of fifty
he was still living in a poor house in an obscure quarter He earned enough for
his actual needs and was under no pressing fear for the morrow so long as his
faculties remained unimpaired but there was no disguising from himself that his
life had been a failure And the thought tormented him
Now there had come unexpectedly a gleam of hope If indeed the man Rackett
thought of offering him the editorship of The Study he might even yet taste the
triumphs for which he had so vehemently longed The Study was a weekly paper of
fair repute Fadge had harmed it no doubt of that by giving it a tone which
did not suit the majority of its readers serious people who thought that the
criticism of contemporary writing offered an opportunity for something better
than a display of malevolent wit But a return to the old earnestness would
doubtless set all right again And the joy of sitting in that dictatorial chair
The delight of having his own organ once more of making himself a power in the
world of letters of emphasising to a large audience his developed methods of
criticism
An embittered man is a man beset by evil temptations The Study contained
each week certain columns of flying gossip and when he thought of this Yule
also thought of Clement Fadge and sundry other of his worst enemies How the
gossip column can be used for hostile purposes yet without the least overt
offence he had learnt only too well Sometimes the mere omission of a mans
name from a list of authors can mortify and injure In our day the manipulation
of such paragraphs has become a fine art but you recall numerous illustrations
Alfred knew well enough how incessantly the tempter would be at his ear he said
to himself that in certain instances yielding would be no dishonour He himself
had many a time been mercilessly treated in the very interest of the public it
was good that certain men should suffer a snubbing and his fingers itched to
have hold of the editorial pen Ha ha Like the warhorse he snuffed the battle
afar off
No work this evening though there were tasks which pressed for completion
His study the only room on the ground level except the diningroom was
small and even a good deal of the floor was encumbered with books but he found
space for walking nervously hither and thither He was doing this when about
halfpast nine his wife appeared at the door bringing him a cup of coffee and
some biscuits his wonted supper Marian generally waited upon him at this time
and he asked why she had not come
»She has one of her headaches again Im sorry to say« Mrs Yule replied »I
persuaded her to go to bed early«
Having placed the tray upon the table books had to be pushed aside she
did not seem disposed to withdraw
»Are you busy Alfred«
»Why«
»I thought I should like just to speak of something«
She was using the opportunity of his good humour Yule spoke to her with the
usual carelessness but not forbiddingly
»What is it Those Holloway people Ill warrant«
»No no Its about Marian She had a letter from one of those young ladies
this afternoon«
»What young ladies« asked Yule with impatience of this circuitous
approach
»The Miss Milvains«
»Well theres no harm that I know of Theyre decent people«
»Yes so you told me But she began to speak about their brother and «
»What about him Do say what you want to say and have done with it«
»I cant help thinking Alfred that shes disappointed you didnt ask him
to come here«
Yule stared at her in slight surprise He was still not angry and seemed
quite willing to consider this matter suggested to him so timorously
»Oh you think so Well I dont know Why should I have asked him It was
only because Miss Harrow seemed to wish it that I saw him down there I have no
particular interest in him And as for «
He broke off and seated himself Mrs Yule stood at a distance
»We must remember her age« she said
»Why yes of course«
He mused and began to nibble a biscuit
»And you know Alfred she never does meet any young men Ive often thought
it wasnt right to her«
»Hm But this lad Milvain is a very doubtful sort of customer To begin
with he has nothing and they tell me his mother for the most part supports
him I dont quite approve of that She isnt well off and he ought to have
been making a living by now He has a kind of cleverness may do something but
theres no being sure of that«
These thoughts were not coming into his mind for the first time On the
occasion when he met Milvain and Marian together in the country road he had
necessarily reflected upon the possibilities of such intercourse and with the
issue that he did not care to give any particular encouragement to its
continuance He of course heard of Milvains leavetaking call and he purposely
refrained from seeing the young man after that The matter took no very clear
shape in his meditations he saw no likelihood that either of the young people
would think much of the other after their parting and time enough to trouble
ones head with such subjects when they could no longer be postponed It would
not have been pleasant to him to foresee a life of spinsterhood for his
daughter but she was young and she was a valuable assistant
How far did that latter consideration weigh with him He put the question
pretty distinctly to himself now that his wife had broached the matter thus
unexpectedly Was he prepared to behave with deliberate selfishness Never yet
had any conflict been manifested between his interests and Marians practically
he was in the habit of counting upon her aid for an indefinite period
If indeed he became editor of The Study why in that case her assistance
would be less needful And indeed it seemed probable that young Milvain had a
future before him
»But in any case« he said aloud partly continuing his thoughts partly
replying to a look of disappointment on his wifes face »how do you know that
he has any wish to come and see Marian«
»I dont know anything about it of course«
»And you may have made a mistake about her What made you think she had
him in mind«
»Well it was her way of speaking you know And then she asked if you had
got a dislike to him«
»She did Hm Well I dont think Milvain is any good to Marian Hes just
the kind of man to make himself agreeable to a girl for the fun of the thing«
Mrs Yule looked alarmed
»Oh if you really think that dont let him come I wouldnt for anything«
»I dont say it for certain« He took a sip of his coffee »I have had no
opportunity of observing him with much attention But hes not the kind of man I
care for«
»Then no doubt its better as it is«
»Yes I dont see that anything could be done now We shall see whether he
gets on I advise you not to mention him to her«
»Oh no I wont«
She moved as if to go away but her heart had been made uneasy by that short
conversation which followed on Marians reading the letter and there were still
things she wished to put into words
»If those young ladies go on writing to her I dare say theyll often speak
about their brother«
»Yes its rather unfortunate«
»And you know Alfred he may have asked them to do it«
»I suppose theres one subject on which all women can be subtle« muttered
Yule smiling The remark was not a kind one but he did not make it worse by
his tone
The listener failed to understand him and looked with her familiar
expression of mental effort
»We cant help that« he added with reference to her suggestion »If he has
any serious thoughts well let him go on and wait for opportunities«
»Its a great pity isnt it that she cant see more people of the right
kind«
»No use talking about it Things are as they are I cant see that her life
is unhappy«
»It isnt very happy«
»You think not«
»Im sure it isnt«
»If I get The Study things may be different Though But its no use
talking about what cant be helped Now dont you go encouraging her to think
herself lonely and so on Its best for her to keep close to work Im sure of
that«
»Perhaps it is«
»Ill think it over«
Mrs Yule silently left the room and went back to her sewing
She had understood that Though and the what cant be helped Such
allusions reminded her of a time unhappier than the present when she had been
wont to hear plainer language She knew too well that had she been a woman of
education her daughter would not now be suffering from loneliness
It was her own choice that she did not go with her husband and Marian to
John Yules She made an excuse that the house could not be left to one servant
but in any case she would have remained at home for her presence must needs be
an embarrassment both to father and daughter Alfred was always ashamed of her
before strangers he could not conceal his feeling either from her or from
other people who had reason for observing him Marian was not perhaps ashamed
but such companionship put restraint upon her freedom And would it not always
be the same Supposing Mr Milvain were to come to this house would it not repel
him when he found what sort of person Marians mother was
She shed a few tears over her needlework
At midnight the study door opened Yule came to the diningroom to see that
all was right and it surprised him to find his wife still sitting there
»Why are you so late«
»Ive forgot the time«
»Forgotten forgotten Dont go back to that kind of language again Come
put the light out«
Chapter 8
To the Winning Side
Of the acquaintances Yule had retained from his earlier years several were in
the welldefined category of men with unpresentable wives There was Hinks for
instance whom though in anger he spoke of him as a bore Alfred held in some
genuine regard Hinks made perhaps a hundred a year out of a kind of writing
which only certain publishers can get rid of and of this income he spent about
a third on books His wife was the daughter of a laundress in whose house he
had lodged thirty years ago when new to London but already longacquainted with
hunger they lived in complete harmony but Mrs Hinks who was four years the
elder still spoke the laundress tongue unmitigated and immitigable Another
pair were Mr and Mrs Gorbutt In this case there were no narrow circumstances to
contend with for the wife originally a nursemaid not long after her marriage
inherited house property from a relative Mr Gorbutt deemed himself a poet
since his accession to an income he had published at his own expense a yearly
volume of verses the only result being to keep alive rancour in his wife who
was both parsimonious and vain Making no secret of it Mrs Gorbutt rued the day
on which she had wedded a man of letters when by waiting so short a time she
would have been enabled to aim at a prosperous tradesman who kept his gig and
had everything handsome about him Mrs Yule suspected not without reason that
this lady had an inclination to strong liquors Thirdly came Mr and Mrs
Christopherson who were poor as church mice Even in a friends house they
wrangled incessantly and made tragicomical revelations of their home life The
husband worked casually at irresponsible journalism but his chosen study was
metaphysics for many years he had had a huge and profound book on hand which
he believed would bring him fame though he was not so unsettled in mind as to
hope for anything else When an article or two had earned enough money for
immediate necessities he went off to the British Museum and then the difficulty
was to recall him to profitable exertions Yet husband and wife had an affection
for each other Mrs Christopherson came from Camberwell where her father once
upon a time was the smallest of small butchers Disagreeable stories were
whispered concerning her earlier life and probably the metaphysician did not
care to look back in that direction They had had three children all were
happily buried
These men were capable of better things than they had done or would ever do
in each case their failure to fulfil youthful promise was largely explained by
the unpresentable wife They should have waited they might have married a
social equal at something between fifty and sixty
Another old friend was Mr Quarmby Unwedded he and perpetually exultant
over men who as he phrased it had noosed themselves He made a fair living
but like Dr Johnson had no passion for clean linen
Yule was not disdainful of these old companions and the fact that all had a
habit of looking up to him increased his pleasure in their occasional society
If as happened once or twice in halt a year several of them were gathered
together at his house he tasted a sham kind of social and intellectual
authority which he could not help relishing On such occasions he threw off his
habitual gloom and talked vigorously making natural display of his learning and
critical ability The topic sooner or later was that which is inevitable in
such a circle the demerits the pretentiousness the personal weaknesses of
prominent contemporaries in the world of letters Then did the room ring with
scornful laughter with boisterous satire with shouted irony with fierce
invective After an evening of that kind Yule was unwell and miserable for
several days
It was not to be expected that Mr Quarmby inveterate chatterbox of the
Readingroom and other resorts should keep silence concerning what he had heard
of Mr Racketts intentions The rumour soon spread that Alfred Yule was to
succeed Fadge in the direction of The Study with the necessary consequence that
Yule found himself an object of affectionate interest to a great many people of
whom he knew little or nothing At the same time the genuine old friends pressed
warmly about him with congratulations with hints of their sincere readiness to
assist in filling the columns of the paper All this was not disagreeable but
in the meantime Yule had heard nothing whatever from Mr Rackett himself and his
doubts did not diminish as week after week went by
The event justified him At the end of October appeared an authoritative
announcement that Fadges successor would be not Alfred Yule but a gentleman
who till of late had been quietly working as a subeditor in the provinces and
who had neither friendships nor enmities among the people of the London literary
press A young man comparatively fresh from the university and said to be
strong in pure scholarship The choice as you are aware proved a good one and
The Study became an organ of more repute than ever
Yule had been secretly conscious that it was not to men such as he that
positions of this kind are nowadays entrusted He tried to persuade himself that
he was not disappointed But when Mr Quarmby approached him with blank face he
spoke certain wrathful words which long rankled in that worthys mind At home
he kept sullen silence
No not to such men as he poor and without social recommendations
Besides he was growing too old In literature as in most other pursuits the
press of energetic young men was making it very hard for a veteran even to hold
the little grazingplot he had won by hard fighting Still Quarmbys story had
not been without foundation it was true that the proprietor of The Study had
for a moment thought of Alfred Yule doubtless as the natural contrast to
Clement Fadge whom he would have liked to mortify if the thing were possible
But counsellors had proved to Mr Rackett the disadvantages of such a choice
Mrs Yule and her daughter foresaw but too well the results of this
disappointment notwithstanding that Alfred announced it to them with dry
indifference The month that followed was a time of misery for all in the house
Day after day Yule sat at his meals in sullen muteness to his wife he scarcely
spoke at all and his conversation with Marian did not go beyond necessary
questions and remarks on topics of business His face became so strange a colour
that one would have thought him suffering from an attack of jaundice bilious
headaches exasperated his savage mood Mrs Yule knew from long experience how
worse than useless it was for her to attempt consolation in silence was her
only safety Nor did Marian venture to speak directly of what had happened But
one evening when she had been engaged in the study and was now saying
»Goodnight« she laid her cheek against her fathers an unwonted caress which
had a strange effect upon him The expression of sympathy caused his thoughts to
reveal themselves as they never yet had done before his daughter
»It might have been very different with me« he exclaimed abruptly as if
they had already been conversing on the subject »When you think of my failures
and you must often do so now you are grown up and understand things dont
forget the obstacles that have been in my way I dont like you to look upon
your father as a thickhead who couldnt be expected to succeed Look at Fadge
He married a woman of good social position she brought him friends and
influence But for that he would never have been editor of The Study a place
for which he wasnt in the least fit But he was able to give dinners he and
his wife went into society everybody knew him and talked of him How has it
been with me I live here like an animal in its hole and go blinking about if
by chance I find myself among the people with whom I ought naturally to
associate If I had been able to come in direct contact with Rackett and other
men of that kind to dine with them and have them to dine with me to belong to
a club and so on I shouldnt be what I am at my age My one opportunity when
I edited The Balance wasnt worth much there was no money behind the paper
we couldnt hold out long enough But even then if I could have assumed my
proper social standing if I could have opened my house freely to the right kind
of people How was it possible«
Marian could not raise her head She recognised the portion of truth in what
he said but it shocked her that he should allow himself to speak thus Her
silence seemed to remind him how painful it must be to her to hear these
accusations of her mother and with a sudden Goodnight he dismissed her
She went up to her room and wept over the wretchedness of all their lives
Her loneliness had seemed harder to bear than ever since that last holiday For
a moment in the lanes about Finden there had come to her a vision of joy such
as fate owed her youth but it had faded and she could no longer hope for its
return She was not a woman but a mere machine for reading and writing Did her
father never think of this He was not the only one to suffer from the
circumstances in which poverty had involved him
She had no friends to whom she could utter her thoughts Dora Milvain had
written a second time and more recently had come a letter from Maud but in
replying to them she could not give a true account of herself Impossible to
them From what she wrote they would imagine her contentedly busy absorbed in
the affairs of literature To no one could she make known the aching sadness of
her heart the dreariness of life as it lay before her
That beginning of halfconfidence between her and her mother had led to
nothing Mrs Yule found no second opportunity of speaking to her husband about
Jasper Milvain and purposely she refrained from any further hint or question to
Marian Everything must go on as hitherto
The days darkened Through November rains and fogs Marian went her usual way
to the Museum and toiled there among the other toilers Perhaps once a week she
allowed herself to stray about the alleys of the Readingroom scanning
furtively those who sat at the desks but the face she might perchance have
discovered was not there
One day at the end of the month she sat with books open before her but by
no effort could fix her attention upon them It was gloomy and one could
scarcely see to read a taste of fog grew perceptible in the warm headachy air
Such profound discouragement possessed her that she could not even maintain the
pretence of study heedless whether anyone observed her she let her hands fall
and her head droop She kept asking herself what was the use and purpose of such
a life as she was condemned to lead When already there was more good literature
in the world than any mortal could cope with in his lifetime here was she
exhausting herself in the manufacture of printed stuff which no one even
pretended to be more than a commodity for the days market What unspeakable
folly To write was not that the joy and the privilege of one who had an
urgent message for the world Her father she knew well had no such message he
had abandoned all thought of original production and only wrote about writing
She herself would throw away her pen with joy but for the need of earning money
And all these people about her what aim had they save to make new books out of
those already existing that yet newer books might in turn be made out of
theirs This huge library growing into unwieldiness threatening to become a
trackless desert of print how intolerably it weighed upon the spirit
Oh to go forth and labour with ones hands to do any poorest commonest
work of which the world had truly need It was ignoble to sit here and support
the paltry pretence of intellectual dignity A few days ago her startled eye had
caught an advertisement in the newspaper headed »Literary Machine« had it then
been invented at last some automaton to supply the place of such poor creatures
as herself to turn out books and articles Alas the machine was only one for
holding volumes conveniently that the work of literary manufacture might be
physically lightened But surely before long some Edison would make the true
automaton the problem must be comparatively such a simple one Only to throw in
a given number of old books and have them reduced blended modernised into a
single one for todays consumption
The fog grew thicker she looked up at the windows beneath the dome and saw
that they were a dusky yellow Then her eye discerned an official walking along
the upper gallery and in pursuance of her grotesque humour her mocking misery
she likened him to a black lost soul doomed to wander in an eternity of vain
research along endless shelves Or again the readers who sat here at these
radiating lines of desks what were they but hapless flies caught in a huge web
its nucleus the great circle of the Catalogue Darker darker From the towering
wall of volumes seemed to emanate visible motes intensifying the obscurity in
a moment the booklined circumference of the room would be but a featureless
prisonlimit
But then flashed forth the sputtering whiteness of the electric light and
its ceaseless hum was henceforth a new source of headache It reminded her how
little work she had done today she must she must force herself to think of
the task in hand A machine has no business to refuse its duty But the pages
were blue and green and yellow before her eyes the uncertainty of the light was
intolerable Right or wrong she would go home and hide herself and let her
heart unburden itself of tears
On her way to return books she encountered Jasper Milvain Face to face no
possibility of his avoiding her
And indeed he seemed to have no such wish His countenance lighted up with
unmistakable pleasure
»At last we meet as they say in the melodramas Oh do let me help you with
those volumes which wont even let you shake hands How do you do How do you
like this weather And how do you like this light«
»Its very bad«
»Thatll do both for weather and light but not for yourself How glad I am
to see you Are you just going«
»Yes«
»I have scarcely been here half a dozen times since I came back to London«
»But you are writing still«
»Oh yes But I draw upon my genius and my stores of observation and the
living world«
Marian received her vouchers for the volumes and turned to face Jasper
again There was a smile on her lips
»The fog is terrible« Milvain went on »How do you get home«
»By omnibus from Tottenham Court Road«
»Then do let me go a part of the way with you I live in Mornington Road
up yonder you know I have only just come in to waste half an hour and after
all I think I should be better at home Your father is all right I hope«
»He is not quite well«
»Im sorry to hear that You are not exactly up to the mark either What
weather What a place to live in this London in winter It would be a little
better down at Finden«
»A good deal better I should think If the weather were bad it would be
bad in a natural way but this is artificial misery«
»I dont let it affect me much« said Milvain »Just of late I have been in
remarkably good spirits Im doing a lot of work No end of work more than
Ive ever done«
»I am very glad«
»Where are your outofdoor things I think theres a ladies vestry
somewhere isnt there«
»Oh yes«
»Then will you go and get ready Ill wait for you in the hall But
bytheby I am taking it for granted that you were going alone«
»I was quite alone«
The quite seemed excessive it made Jasper smile
»And also« he added »that I shall not annoy you by offering my company«
»Why should it annoy me«
»Good«
Milvain had only to wait a minute or two He surveyed Marian from head to
foot when she appeared an impertinence as unintentional as that occasionally
noticeable in his speech and smiled approval They went out into the fog
which was not one of Londons densest but made walking disagreeable enough
»You have heard from the girls I think« Jasper resumed
»Your sisters Yes they have been so kind as to write to me«
»Told you all about their great work I hope itll be finished by the end of
the year The bits they have sent me will do very well indeed I knew they had
it in them to put sentences together Now I want them to think of patching up
something or other for The English Girl you know the paper«
»I have heard of it«
»I happen to know Mrs Boston Wright who edits it Met her at a house the
other day and told her frankly that she would have to give my sisters something
to do Its the only way to get on one has to take it for granted that people
are willing to help you I have made a host of new acquaintances just lately«
»Im glad to hear it« said Marian
»Do you know but how should you I am going to write for the new magazine
The Current«
»Indeed«
»Edited by that man Fadge«
»Yes«
»Your father has no affection for him I know«
»He has no reason to have Mr Milvain«
»No no Fadge is an offensive fellow when he likes and I fancy he very
often does like Well I must make what use of him I can You wont think worse
of me because I write for him«
»I know that one cant exercise choice in such things«
»True I shouldnt like to think that you regard me as a Fadgelike
individual a natural Fadgeite«
Marian laughed
»Theres no danger of my thinking that«
But the fog was making their eyes water and getting into their throats By
when they reached Tottenham Court Road they were both thoroughly uncomfortable
The bus had to be waited for and in the meantime they talked scrappily
coughily In the vehicle things were a little better but here one could not
converse with freedom
»What pestilent conditions of life« exclaimed Jasper putting his face
rather near to Marians »I wish to goodness we were back in those quiet fields
you remember with the September sun warm about us Shall you go to Finden
again before long«
»I really dont know«
»Im sorry to say my mother is far from well In any case I must go at
Christmas but Im afraid it wont be a cheerful visit«
Arrived in Hampstead Road he offered his hand for goodbye
»I wanted to talk about all sorts of things But perhaps I shall find you
again some day«
He jumped out and waved his hat in the lurid fog
Shortly before the end of December appeared the first number of The Current
Yule had once or twice referred to the forthcoming magazine with acrid contempt
and of course he did not purchase a copy
»So young Milvain has joined Fadges hopeful standard« he remarked a day
or two later at breakfast »They say his paper is remarkably clever I could
wish it had appeared anywhere else Evil communications etc«
»But I shouldnt think theres any personal connection« said Marian
»Very likely not But Milvain has been invited to contribute you see«
»Do you think he ought to have refused«
»Oh no Its nothing to me nothing whatever«
Mrs Yule glanced at her daughter but Marian seemed unconcerned The subject
was dismissed In introducing it Yule had had his purpose there had always been
an unnatural avoidance of Milvains name in conversation and he wished to have
an end of this Hitherto he had felt a troublesome uncertainty regarding his
position in the matter From what his wife had told him it seemed pretty certain
that Marian was disappointed by the abrupt closing of her brief acquaintance
with the young man and Yules affection for his daughter caused him to feel
uneasy in the thought that perhaps he had deprived her of a chance of happiness
His conscience readily took hold of an excuse for justifying the course he had
followed Milvain had gone over to the enemy Whether or not the young man
understood how relentless the hostility was between Yule and Fadge mattered
little the probability was that he knew all about it In any case intimate
relations with him could not have survived this alliance with Fadge so that
after all there had been wisdom in letting the acquaintance lapse To be sure
nothing could have come of it Milvain was the kind of man who weighed
opportunities every step he took would be regulated by consideration of
advantage at all events that was the impression his character had made upon
Yule Any hopes that Marian might have been induced to form would assuredly have
ended in disappointment It was kindness to interpose before things had gone so
far
Henceforth if Milvains name was unavoidable it should be mentioned just
like that of any other literary man It seemed very unlikely indeed that Marian
would continue to think of him with any special and personal interest The fact
of her having got into correspondence with his sisters was unfortunate but this
kind of thing rarely went on for very long
Yule spoke of the matter with his wife that evening
»Bytheby has Marian heard from those girls at Finden lately«
»She had a letter one afternoon last week«
»Do you see these letters«
»No she told me what was in them at first but now she doesnt«
»She hasnt spoken to you again of Milvain«
»Not a word«
»Well I understood what I was about« Yule remarked with the confident air
of one who doesnt wish to remember that he had ever felt doubtful »There was
no good in having the fellow here He has got in with a set that I dont care at
all for If she ever says anything you understand you can just let me know«
Marian had already procured a copy of The Current and read it privately Of
the cleverness of Milvains contribution there could be no two opinions it drew
the attention of the public and all notices of the new magazine made special
reference to this article With keen interest Marian sought after comments of
the press when it was possible she cut them out and put them carefully away
January passed and February She saw nothing of Jasper A letter from Dora
in the first week of March made announcement that the »Childs History of the
English Parliament« would be published very shortly it told her too that Mrs
Milvain had been very ill indeed but that she seemed to recover a little
strength as the weather improved Of Jasper there was no mention
A week later came the news that Mrs Milvain had suddenly died
This letter was received at breakfasttime The envelope was an ordinary
one and so little did Marian anticipate the nature of its contents that at the
first sight of the words she uttered an exclamation of pain Her father who had
turned from the table to the fireside with his newspaper looked round and asked
what was the matter
»Mrs Milvain died the day before yesterday«
»Indeed«
He averted his face again and seemed disposed to say no more But in a few
moments he inquired
»What are her daughters likely to do«
»I have no idea«
»Do you know anything of their circumstances«
»I believe they will have to depend upon themselves«
Nothing more was said Afterwards Mrs Yule made a few sympathetic inquiries
but Marian was very brief in her replies
Ten days after that on a Sunday afternoon when Marian and her mother were
alone in the sittingroom they heard the knock of a visitor at the front door
Yule was out and there was no likelihood of the visitors wishing to see any
one but him They listened the servant went to the door and after a murmur of
voices came to speak to her mistress
»Its a gentleman called Mr Milvain« the girl reported in a way that
proved how seldom callers presented themselves »He asked for Mr Yule and when
I said he was out then he asked for Miss Yule«
Mother and daughter looked anxiously at each other Mrs Yule was nervous and
helpless
»Show Mr Milvain into the study« said Marian with sudden decision
»Are you going to see him there« asked her mother in a hurried whisper
»I thought you would prefer that to his coming in here«
»Yes yes But suppose father comes back before hes gone«
»What will it matter You forget that he asked for father first«
»Oh yes Then dont wait«
Marian scarcely less agitated than her mother was just leaving the room
when she turned back again
»If father comes in you will tell him before he goes into the study«
»Yes I will«
The fire in the study was on the point of extinction this was the first
thing Marians eye perceived on entering and it gave her assurance that her
father would not be back for some hours Evidently he had intended it to go out
small economies of this kind unintelligible to people who have always lived at
ease had been the lifelong rule with him With a sensation of gladness at
having free time before her Marian turned to where Milvain was standing in
front of one of the bookcases He wore no symbol of mourning but his
countenance was far graver than usual and rather paler They shook hands in
silence
»I am so grieved « Marian began with broken voice
»Thank you I know the girls have told you all about it We knew for the
last month that it must come before long though there was a deceptive
improvement just before the end«
»Please to sit down Mr Milvain Father went out not long ago and I dont
think he will be back very soon«
»It was not really Mr Yule I wished to see« said Jasper frankly »If he
had been at home I should have spoken with him about what I have in mind but if
you will kindly give me a few minutes it will be much better«
Marian glanced at the expiring fire Her curiosity as to what Milvain had to
say was mingled with an anxious doubt whether it was not too late to put on
fresh coals already the room was growing very chill and this appearance of
inhospitality troubled her
»Do you wish to save it« Jasper asked understanding her look and movement
»Im afraid it has got too low«
»I think not Life in lodgings has made me skilful at this kind of thing
let me try my hand«
He took the tongs and carefully disposed small pieces of coal upon the glow
that remained Marian stood apart with a feeling of shame and annoyance But it
is so seldom that situations in life arrange themselves with dramatic propriety
and after all this vulgar necessity made the beginning of the conversation
easier
»That will be all right now« said Jasper at length as little tongues of
flame began to shoot here and there
Marian said nothing but seated herself and waited
»I came up to town yesterday« Jasper began »Of course we have had a great
deal to do and think about Miss Harrow has been very kind indeed to the girls
so have several of our old friends in Wattleborough It was necessary to decide
at once what Maud and Dora are going to do and it is on their account that I
have come to see you«
The listener kept silence with a face of sympathetic attention
»We have made up our minds that they may as well come to London Its a bold
step Im by no means sure that the result will justify it But I think they are
perhaps right in wishing to try it«
»They will go on with literary work«
»Well its our hope that they may be able to Of course theres no chance
of their earning enough to live upon for some time But the matter stands like
this They have a trifling sum of money on which at a pinch they could live
in London for perhaps a year and a half In that time they may find their way to
a sort of income at all events the chances are that a year and a half hence I
shall be able to help them to keep body and soul together«
The money of which he spoke was the debt owed to their father by William
Milvain In consequence of Mrs Milvains pressing application half of this sum
had at length been paid and the remainder was promised in a years time
greatly to Jaspers astonishment In addition there would be the trifle
realised by the sale of furniture though most of this might have to go in
payment of rent unless the house could be relet immediately
»They have made a good beginning« said Marian
She spoke mechanically for it was impossible to keep her thoughts under
control If Maud and Dora came to live in London it might bring about a most
important change in her life she could scarcely imagine the happiness of having
two such friends always near On the other hand how would it be regarded by her
father She was at a loss amid conflicting emotions
»Its better than if they had done nothing at all« Jasper replied to her
remark »And the way they knocked that trifle together promises well They did
it very quickly and in a far more workmanlike way than I should have thought
possible«
»No doubt they share your own talent«
»Perhaps so Of course I know that I have talent of a kind though I dont
rate it very high We shall have to see whether they can do anything more than
mere booksellers work they are both very young you know I think they may be
able to write something thatll do for The English Girl and no doubt I can hit
upon a second idea that will appeal to Jolly and Monk At all events theyll
have books within reach and better opportunities every way than at Finden«
»How do their friends in the country think of it«
»Very dubiously but then what else was to be expected Of course the
respectable and intelligible path marked out for both of them points to a
lifetime of governessing But the girls have no relish for that theyd rather
do almost anything We talked over all the aspects of the situation seriously
enough it is desperately serious no doubt of that I told them fairly all the
hardships they would have to face described the typical London lodgings and
so on Still theres an adventurous vein in them and they decided for the
risk If it came to the worst I suppose they could still find governess work«
»Let us hope better things«
»Yes But now I should have felt far more reluctant to let them come here
in this way hadnt it been that they regard you as a friend Tomorrow morning
you will probably hear from one or both of them Perhaps it would have been
better if I had left them to tell you all this but I felt I should like to see
you and put it in my own way I think youll understand this feeling Miss
Yule I wanted in fact to hear from yourself that you would be a friend to the
poor girls«
»Oh you already know that I shall be so very glad to see them often«
Marians voice lent itself very naturally and sweetly to the expression of
warm feeling Emphasis was not her habit it only needed that she should put off
her ordinary reserve utter quietly the emotional thought which so seldom might
declare itself and her tones had an exquisite womanliness
Jasper looked full into her face
»In that case they wont miss the comfort of home so much Of course they
will have to go into very modest lodgings indeed I have already been looking
about I should like to find rooms for them somewhere near my own place its a
decent neighbourhood and the park is at hand and then they wouldnt be very
far from you They thought it might be possible to make a joint establishment
with me but Im afraid thats out of the question The lodgings we should want
in that case everything considered would cost more than the sum of our
expenses if we live apart Besides theres no harm in saying that I dont think
we should get along very well together Were all of us rather quarrelsome to
tell the truth and we try each others tempers«
Marian smiled and looked puzzled
»Shouldnt you have thought that«
»I have seen no signs of quarrelsomeness«
»Im not sure that the worst fault is on my side Why should one condemn
oneself against conscience Maud is perhaps the hardest to get along with She
has a sort of arrogance an exaggeration of something I am quite aware of in
myself You have noticed that trait in me«
»Arrogance I think not You have selfconfidence«
»Which goes into extremes now and then But putting myself aside I feel
pretty sure that the girls wont seem quarrelsome to you they would have to be
very fractious indeed before that were possible«
»We shall continue to be friends I am sure«
Jasper let his eyes wander about the room
»This is your fathers study«
»Yes«
»Perhaps it would have seemed odd to Mr Yule if I had come in and begun to
talk to him about these purely private affairs He knows me so very slightly
But in calling here for the first time «
An unusual embarrassment checked him
»I will explain to father your very natural wish to speak of these things«
said Marian with tact
She thought uneasily of her mother in the next room To her there appeared
no reason whatever why Jasper should not be introduced to Mrs Yule yet she
could not venture to propose it Remembering her fathers last remarks about
Milvain in connection with Fadges magazine she must wait for distinct
permission before offering the young man encouragement to repeat his visit
Perhaps there was complicated trouble in store for her impossible to say how
her fathers deeprooted and rankling antipathies might affect her intercourse
even with the two girls But she was of independent years she must be allowed
the choice of her own friends The pleasure she had in seeing Jasper under this
roof in hearing him talk with such intimate friendliness strengthened her to
resist timid thoughts
»When will your sisters arrive« she asked
»I think in a very few days When I have fixed upon lodgings for them I must
go back to Finden then they will return with me as soon as we can get the house
emptied Its rather miserable selling things one has lived among from
childhood A friend in Wattleborough will house for us what we really cant bear
to part with«
»It must be very sad« Marian murmured
»You know« said the other suddenly »that its my fault the girls are left
in such a hard position«
Marian looked at him with startled eyes His tone was quite unfamiliar to
her
»Mother had an annuity« he continued »It ended with her life but if it
hadnt been for me she could have saved a good deal out of it Until the last
year or two I have earned nothing and I have spent more than was strictly
necessary Well I didnt live like that in mere recklessness I knew I was
preparing myself for remunerative work But it seems too bad now Im sorry for
it I wish I had found some way of supporting myself The end of mothers life
was made far more unhappy than it need have been I should like you to
understand all this«
The listener kept her eyes on the ground
»Perhaps the girls have hinted it to you« Jasper added
»No«
»Selfishness thats one of my faults It isnt a brutal kind of
selfishness the thought of it often enough troubles me If I were rich I
should be a generous and good man I know I should So would many another poor
fellow whose worst features come out under hardship This isnt a heroic type
of course not I am a civilised man thats all«
Marian could say nothing
»You wonder why I am so impertinent as to talk about myself like this I
have gone through a good deal of mental pain these last few weeks and somehow I
cant help showing you something of my real thoughts Just because you are one
of the few people I regard with sincere respect I dont know you very well but
quite well enough to respect you My sisters think of you in the same way I
shall do many a base thing in life just to get money and reputation I tell you
this that you maynt be surprised if anything of that kind comes to your ears I
cant afford to live as I should like to«
She looked up at him with a smile
»People who are going to live unworthily dont declare it in this way«
»I oughtnt to a few minutes ago I had no intention of saying such things
It means I am rather overstrung I suppose but its all true unfortunately«
He rose and began to run his eye along the shelves nearest to him
»Well now I will go Miss Yule«
Marian stood up as he approached
»Its all very well« he said smiling »for me to encourage my sisters in
the hope that they may earn a living but suppose I cant even do it myself
Its by no means certain that I shall make ends meet this year«
»You have every reason to hope I think«
»I like to hear people say that but itll mean savage work When we were
all at Finden last year I told the girls that it would be another twelve months
before I could support myself Now I am forced to do it And I dont like work
my nature is lazy I shall never write for writings sake only to make money
All my plans and efforts will have money in view all I shant allow anything
to come in the way of my material advancement«
»I wish you every success« said Marian without looking at him and without
a smile
»Thank you But that sounds too much like goodbye I trust we are to be
friends for all that«
»Indeed I hope we may be«
They shook hands and he went towards the door But before opening it he
asked
»Did you read that thing of mine in The Current«
»Yes I did«
»It wasnt bad I think«
»It seemed to me very clever«
»Clever yes thats the word It had a success too I have as good a
thing half done for the April number but Ive felt too heavyhearted to go on
with it The girls shall let you know when they are in town«
Marian followed him into the passage and watched him as he opened the front
door When it had closed she went back into the study for a few moments before
rejoining her mother
Chapter 9
Invita Minerva
After all there came a day when Edwin Reardon found himself regularly at work
once more ticking off his stipulated quantum of manuscript each fourandtwenty
hours He wrote a very small hand sixty written slips of the kind of paper he
habitually used would represent thanks to the astonishing system which
prevails in such matters large type wide spacing frequency of blank pages a
passable threehundredpage volume On an average he could write four such slips
a day so here we have fifteen days for the volume and fortyfive for the
completed book
Fortyfive days an eternity in the looking forward Yet the calculation
gave him a fainthearted encouragement At that rate he might have his book sold
by Christmas It would certainly not bring him a hundred pounds seventyfive
perhaps But even that small sum would enable him to pay the quarters rent and
then give him a short time if only two or three weeks of mental rest If such
rest could not be obtained all was at an end with him He must either find some
new means of supporting himself and his family or have done with life and its
responsibilities altogether
The latter alternative was often enough before him He seldom slept for more
than two or three consecutive hours in the night and the time of wakefulness
was often terrible The various sounds which marked the stages from midnight to
dawn had grown miserably familiar to him worst torture to his mind was the
chiming and striking of clocks Two of these were in general audible that of
Marylebone parish church and that of the adjoining workhouse the latter always
sounded several minutes after its ecclesiastical neighbour and with a
difference of note which seemed to Reardon very appropriate a thin querulous
voice reminding one of the community it represented After lying awake for
awhile he would hear quarters sounding if they ceased before the fourth he was
glad for he feared to know what time it was If the hour was complete he
waited anxiously for its number Two three even four were grateful there was
still a long time before he need rise and face the dreaded task the horrible
four blank slips of paper that had to be filled ere he might sleep again But
such restfulness was only for a moment no sooner had the workhouse bell become
silent than he began to toil in his weary imagination or else incapable of
that to vision fearful hazards of the future The soft breathing of Amy at his
side the contact of her warm limbs often filled him with intolerable dread
Even now he did not believe that Amy loved him with the old love and the
suspicion was like a cold weight at his heart that to retain even her wifely
sympathy her wedded tenderness he must achieve the impossible
The impossible for he could no longer deceive himself with a hope of
genuine success If he earned a bare living that would be the utmost And with
bare livelihood Amy would not could not be content
If he were to die a natural death it would be well for all His wife and the
child would be looked after they could live with Mrs Edmund Yule and certainly
it would not be long before Amy married again this time a man of whose
competency to maintain her there would be no doubt His own behaviour had been
cowardly selfishness Oh yes she had loved him had been eager to believe in
him But there was always that voice of warning in his mind he foresaw he
knew
And if he killed himself Not here no lurid horrors for that poor girl and
her relatives but somewhere at a distance under circumstances which would
render the recovery of his body difficult yet would leave no doubt of his
death Would that again be cowardly The opposite when once it was certain
that to live meant poverty and wretchedness Amys grief however sincere would
be but a short trial compared with what else might lie before her The burden of
supporting her and Willie would be a very slight one if she went to live in her
mothers house He considered the whole matter night after night until
perchance it happened that sleep had pity upon him for an hour before the time
of rising
Autumn was passing into winter Dark days which were always an oppression
to his mind began to be frequent and would soon succeed each other
remorselessly Well if only each of them represented four written slips
Milvains advice to him had of course proved useless The sensational title
suggested nothing or only ragged shapes of incomplete humanity that fluttered
mockingly when he strove to fix them But he had decided upon a story of the
kind natural to him a thin story and one which it would be difficult to spin
into three volumes His own at all events The title was always a matter for
headracking when the book was finished he had never yet chosen it before
beginning
For a week he got on at the desired rate then came once more the crisis he
had anticipated
A familiar symptom of the malady which falls upon outwearied imagination
There were floating in his mind five or six possible subjects for a book all
dating back to the time when he first began novel when ideas came freshly to
him If he grasped desperately at one of these and did his best to develop it
for a day or two he could almost content himself characters situations lines
of motive were laboriously schemed and he felt ready to begin writing But
scarcely had he done a chapter or two when all the structure fell into flatness
He had made a mistake Not this story but that other one was what he should
have taken The other one in question left out of mind for a time had come
back with a face of new possibility it invited him tempted him to throw aside
what he had already written Good now he was in more hopeful train But a few
days and the experience repeated itself No not this story but that third
one of which he had not thought for a long time How could he have rejected so
hopeful a subject
For months he had been living in this way endless circling perpetual
beginning followed by frustration A sign of exhaustion it of course made
exhaustion more complete At times he was on the borderland of imbecility his
mind looked into a cloudy chaos a shapeless whirl of nothings He talked aloud
to himself not knowing that he did so Little phrases which indicated
dolorously the subject of his preoccupation often escaped him in the street
»What could I make of that now« »Well suppose I made him « »But no that
wouldnt do« and so on It had happened that he caught the eye of some one
passing fixed in surprise upon him so young a man to be talking to himself in
evident distress
The expected crisis came even now that he was savagely determined to go on
at any cost to write let the result be what it would His will prevailed A
day or two of anguish such as there is no describing to the inexperienced and
again he was dismissing slip after slip a sigh of thankfulness at the
completion of each one It was a fraction of the whole a fraction a fraction
The ordering of his day was thus At nine after breakfast he sat down to
his desk and worked till one Then came dinner followed by a walk As a rule
he could not allow Amy to walk with him for he had to think over the remainder
of the days toil and companionship would have been fatal At about halfpast
three he again seated himself and wrote until halfpast six when he had a
meal Then once more to work from halfpast seven to ten Numberless were the
experiments he had tried for the days division The slightest interruption of
the order for the time being put him out of gear Amy durst not open his door to
ask however necessary a question
Sometimes the three hours labour of a morning resulted in half a dozen
lines corrected into illegibility His brain would not work he could not
recall the simplest synonyms intolerable faults of composition drove him mad
He would write a sentence beginning thus »She took a book with a look of « or
thus »A revision of this decision would have made him an object of derision«
Or if the period were otherwise inoffensive it ran in a rhythmic gallop which
was torment to the ear All this in spite of the fact that his former books had
been noticeably good in style He had an appreciation of shapely prose which
made him scorn himself for the kind of stuff he was now turning out »I cant
help it it must go the time is passing«
Things were better as a rule in the evening Occasionally he wrote a page
with fluency which recalled his fortunate years and then his heart gladdened
his hand trembled with joy
Description of locality deliberate analysis of character or motive
demanded far too great an effort for his present condition He kept as much as
possible to dialogue the space is filled so much more quickly and at a pinch
one can make people talk about the paltriest incidents of life
There came an evening when he opened the door and called to Amy
»What is it« she answered from the bedroom »Im busy with Willie«
»Come as soon as you are free«
In ten minutes she appeared There was apprehension on her face she feared
he was going to lament his inability to work Instead of that he told her
joyfully that the first volume was finished
»Thank goodness« she exclaimed »Are you going to do any more tonight«
»I think not if you will come and sit with me«
»Willie doesnt seem very well He cant get to sleep«
»You would like to stay with him«
»A little while Ill come presently«
She closed the door Reardon brought a highbacked chair to the fireside
and allowed himself to forget the two volumes that had still to be struggled
through in a grateful sense of the portion that was achieved In a few minutes
it occurred to him that it would be delightful to read a scrap of the »Odyssey«
he went to the shelves on which were his classical books took the desired
volume and opened it where Odysseus speaks to Nausicaa
»For never yet did I behold one of mortals like to thee neither man nor
woman I am awed as I look upon thee In Delos once hard by the altar of
Apollo I saw a young palmtree shooting up with even such a grace«
Yes yes that was not written at so many pages a day with a workhouse
clock clanging its admonition at the poets ear How it freshened the soul How
the eyes grew dim with a rare joy in the sounding of those nobly sweet
hexameters
Amy came into the room again
»Listen« said Reardon looking up at her with a bright smile »Do you
remember the first time that I read you this«
And he turned the speech into free prose Amy laughed
»I remember it well enough We were alone in the drawingroom I had told
the others that they must make shift with the diningroom for that evening And
you pulled the book out of your pocket unexpectedly I laughed at your habit of
always carrying little books about«
The cheerful news had brightened her If she had been summoned to hear
lamentations her voice would not have rippled thus soothingly Reardon thought
of this and it made him silent for a minute
»The habit was ominous« he said looking at her with an uncertain smile »A
practical literary man doesnt do such things«
»Milvain for instance No«
With curious frequency she mentioned the name of Milvain Her
unconsciousness in doing so prevented Reardon from thinking about the fact
still he had noted it
»Did you understand the phrase slightingly« he asked
»Slightingly Yes a little of course It always has that sense on your
lips I think«
In the light of this answer he mused upon her readilyoffered instance
True he had occasionally spoken of Jasper with something less than respect but
Amy was not in the habit of doing so
»I hadnt any such meaning just then« he said »I meant quite simply that
my bookish habits didnt promise much for my success as a novelist«
»I see But you didnt think of it in that way at the time«
He sighed
»No At least no«
»At least what«
»Well no on the whole I had good hope«
Amy twisted her fingers together impatiently
»Edwin let me tell you something You are getting too fond of speaking in a
discouraging way Now why should you do so I dont like it It has one
disagreeable effect on me and that is when people ask me about you how you
are getting on I dont quite know how to answer They cant help seeing that I
am uneasy I speak so differently from what I used to«
»Do you really«
»Indeed I cant help it As I say its very much your own fault«
»Well but granted that I am not of a very sanguine nature and that I
easily fall into gloomy ways of talk what is Amy here for«
»Yes yes But «
»But«
»I am not here only to try and keep you in good spirits am I«
She asked it prettily with a smile like that of maidenhood
»Heaven forbid I oughtnt to have put it in that absolute way I was half
joking you know But unfortunately its true that I cant be as lightspirited
as I could wish Does that make you impatient with me«
»A little I cant help the feeling and I ought to try to overcome it But
you must try on your side as well Why should you have said that thing just
now«
»Youre quite right It was needless«
»A few weeks ago I didnt expect you to be cheerful Things began to look
about as bad as they could But now that youve got a volume finished theres
hope once more«
Hope Of what quality Reardon durst not say what rose in his thoughts »A
very small poor hope Hope of money enough to struggle through another half
year if indeed enough for that« He had learnt that Amy was not to be told the
whole truth about anything as he himself saw it It was a pity To the ideal
wife a man speaks out all that is in him she had infinitely rather share his
full conviction than be treated as one from whom facts must be disguised She
says »Let us face the worst and talk of it together you and I« No Amy was
not the ideal wife from that point of view But the moment after this
halfreproach had traversed his consciousness he condemned himself and looked
with the joy of love into her clear eyes
»Yes theres hope once more my dearest No more gloomy talk tonight I
have read you something now you shall read something to me it is a long time
since I delighted myself with listening to you What shall it be«
»I feel rather too tired tonight«
»Do you«
»I have had to look after Willie so much But read me some more Homer I
shall be very glad to listen«
Reardon reached for the book again but not readily His face showed
disappointment Their evenings together had never been the same since the birth
of the child Willie was always an excuse valid enough for Amys feeling
tired The little boy had come between him and the mother as must always be the
case in poor homes most of all where the poverty is relative Reardon could not
pass the subject without a remark but he tried to speak humorously
»There ought to be huge public crèche in London Its monstrous that an
educated mother should have to be nursemaid«
»But you know very well I think nothing of that A crèche indeed No child
of mine should go to any such place«
There it was She grudged no trouble on behalf of the child That was love
whereas But then maternal love was a mere matter of course
»As soon as you get two or three hundred pounds for a book« she added
laughing »therell be no need for me to give so much time«
»Two or three hundred pounds« He repeated it with a shake of the head »Ah
if that were possible«
»But thats really a paltry sum What would fifty novelists you could name
say if they were offered three hundred pounds for a book How much do you
suppose even Markland got for his last«
»Didnt sell it at all ten to one Gets a royalty«
»Which will bring him five or six hundred pounds before the book ceases to
be talked of«
»Never mind Im sick of the word pounds«
»So am I«
She sighed commenting thus on her acquiescence
»But look Amy If I try to be cheerful in spite of natural dumps wouldnt
it be fair for you to put aside thoughts of money«
»Yes Read some Homer dear Let us have Odysseus down in Hades and Ajax
stalking past him Oh I like that«
So he read rather coldly at first but soon warming Amy sat with folded
arms a smile on her lips her brows knitted to the epic humour In a few
minutes it was as if no difficulties threatened their life Every now and then
Reardon looked up from his translating with a delighted laugh in which Amy
joined
When he had returned the book to the shelf he stepped behind his wifes
chair leaned upon it and put his cheek against hers
»Amy«
»Yes dear«
»Do you still love me a little«
»Much more than a little«
»Though I am sunk to writing a wretched potboiler«
»Is it so bad as all that«
»Confoundedly bad I shall be ashamed to see it in print the proofs will be
a martyrdom«
»Oh but why why«
»Its the best I can do dearest So you dont love me enough to hear that
calmly«
»If I didnt love you I might be calmer about it Edwin Its dreadful to
me to think of what they will say in the reviews«
»Curse the reviews«
His mood had changed on the instant He stood up with darkened face
trembling angrily
»I want you to promise me something Amy You wont read a single one of the
notices unless it is forced upon your attention Now promise me that Neglect
them absolutely as I do Theyre not worth a glance of your eyes And I shant
be able to bear it if I know you read all the contempt that will be poured on
me«
»Im sure I shall be glad enough to avoid it but other people our friends
read it Thats the worst«
»You know that their praise would be valueless so have strength to
disregard the blame Let our friends read and talk as much as they like Cant
you console yourself with the thought that I am not contemptible though I may
have been forced to do poor work«
»People dont look at it in that way«
»But darling« he took her hands strongly in his own »I want you to
disregard other people You and I are surely everything to each other Are you
ashamed of me of me myself«
»No not ashamed of you But I am sensitive to peoples talk and opinions«
»But that means they make you feel ashamed of me What else«
There was silence
»Edwin if you find you are unable to do good work you mustnt do bad We
must think of some other way of making a living«
»Have you forgotten that you urged me to write a trashy sensational story«
She coloured and looked annoyed
»You misunderstood me A sensational story neednt be trash And then you
know if you had tried something entirely unlike your usual work that would have
been excuse enough if people had called it a failure«
»People People«
»We cant live in solitude Edwin though really we are not far from it«
He did not dare to make any reply to this Amy was so exasperatingly
womanlike in avoiding the important issue to which he tried to confine her
another moment and his tone would be that of irritation So he turned away and
sat down to his desk as if he had some thought of resuming work
»Will you come and have some supper« Amy asked rising
»I have been forgetting that tomorrow mornings chapter has still to be
thought out«
»Edwin I cant think this book will really be so poor You couldnt
possibly give all this toil for no result«
»No not if I were in sound health But I am far from it«
»Come and have supper with me dear and think afterwards«
He turned and smiled at her
»I hope I shall never be able to resist an invitation from you sweet«
The result of all this was of course that he sat down in anything but the
right mood to his work next morning Amys anticipation of criticism had made it
harder than ever for him to labour at what he knew to be bad And as illluck
would have it in a day or two he caught his first winters cold For several
years a succession of influenzas sore throats lumbagoes had tormented him
from October to May in planning his present work and telling himself that it
must be finished before Christmas he had not lost sight of these possible
interruptions But he said to himself »Other men have worked hard in seasons of
illness I must do the same« All very well but Reardon did not belong to the
heroic class A feverish cold now put his powers and resolution to the test
Through one hideous day he nailed himself to the desk and wrote a quarter of a
page The next day Amy would not let him rise from bed he was wretchedly ill
In the night he had talked about his work deliriously causing her no slight
alarm
»If this goes on« she said to him in the morning »youll have brain fever
You must rest for two or three days«
»Teach me how to I wish I could«
Rest had indeed become out of the question For two days he could not write
but the result upon his mind was far worse than if he had been at the desk He
looked a haggard creature when he again sat down with the accustomed blank slip
before him
The second volume ought to have been much easier work than the first it
proved far harder Messieurs and mesdames the critics are wont to point out the
weakness of second volumes they are generally right simply because a story
which would have made a tolerable book the common run of stories refuses to
fill three books Reardons story was in itself weak and this second volume had
to consist almost entirely of laborious padding If he wrote three slips a day
he did well
And the money was melting melting despite Amys efforts at economy She
spent as little as she could not a luxury came into their home articles of
clothing all but indispensable were left unpurchased But to what purpose was
all this Impossible now that the book should be finished and sold before the
money had all run out
At the end of November Reardon said to his wife one morning
»Tomorrow I finish the second volume«
»And in a week« she replied »we shant have a shilling left«
He had refrained from making inquiries and Amy had forborne to tell him the
state of things lest it should bring him to a dead stop in his writing But now
they must needs discuss their position
»In three weeks I can get to the end« said Reardon with unnatural
calmness »Then I will go personally to the publishers and beg them to advance
me something on the manuscript before they have read it«
»Couldnt you do that with the first two volumes«
»No I cant indeed I cant The other thing will be bad enough but to beg
on an incomplete book and such a book I cant«
There were drops on his forehead
»They would help you if they knew« said Amy in a low voice
»Perhaps I cant say They cant help every poor devil No I will sell
some books I can pick out fifty or sixty that I shant much miss«
Amy knew what a wrench this would be The imminence of distress seemed to
have softened her
»Edwin let me take those two volumes to the publishers and ask «
»Heavens no Thats impossible Ten to one you will be told that my work is
of such doubtful value that they cant offer even a guinea till the whole book
has been considered I cant allow you to go dearest This morning Ill choose
some books that I can spare and after dinner Ill ask a man to come and look at
them Dont worry yourself I can finish in three weeks Im sure I can If I
can get you three or four pounds you could make it do couldnt you«
»Yes«
She averted her face as she spoke
»You shall have that« He still spoke very quietly »If the books wont
bring enough theres my watch oh lots of things«
He turned abruptly away and Amy went on with her household work
Chapter 10
The Friends of the Family
It was natural that Amy should hint dissatisfaction with the loneliness in which
her days were mostly spent She had never lived in a large circle of
acquaintances the narrowness of her mothers means restricted the family to
intercourse with a few old friends and such new ones as were content with
teacup entertainment but her tastes were social and the maturing process
which followed upon her marriage made her more conscious of this than she had
been before Already she had allowed her husband to understand that one of her
strongest motives in marrying him was the belief that he would achieve
distinction At the time she doubtless thought of his coming fame only or
principally as it concerned their relations to each other her pride in him
was to be one phase of her love Now she was well aware that no degree of
distinction in her husband would be of much value to her unless she had the
pleasure of witnessing its effect upon others she must shine with reflected
light before an admiring assembly
The more conscious she became of this requirement of her nature the more
clearly did she perceive that her hopes had been founded on an error Reardon
would never be a great man he would never even occupy a prominent place in the
estimation of the public The two things Amy knew might be as different as
light and darkness but in the grief of her disappointment she would rather have
had him flare into a worthless popularity than flicker down into total
extinction which it almost seemed was to be his fate She knew so well how
people were talking of him and her Even her unliterary acquaintances understood
that Reardons last novel had been anything but successful and they must of
course ask each other how the Reardons were going to live if the business of
novelwriting proved unremunerative Her pride took offence at the mere thought
of such conversations Presently she would become an object of pity there would
be talk of poor Mrs Reardon It was intolerable
So during the last half year she had withheld as much as possible from the
intercourse which might have been one of her chief pleasures And to disguise
the true cause she made pretences which were a satire upon her state of mind
alleging that she had devoted herself to a serious course of studies that the
care of house and child occupied all the time she could spare from her
intellectual pursuits The worst of it was she had little faith in the efficacy
of these fictions in uttering them she felt an unpleasant warmth upon her
cheeks and it was not difficult to detect a look of doubt in the eyes of the
listener She grew angry with herself for being dishonest and with her husband
for making such dishonesty needful
The female friend with whom she had most trouble was Mrs Carter You
remember that on the occasion of Reardons first meeting with his future wife
at the Grosvenor Gallery there were present his friend Carter and a young lady
who was shortly to bear the name of that spirited young man The Carters had now
been married about a year they lived in Bayswater and saw much of a certain
world which imitates on a lower plane the amusements and affectations of society
proper Mr Carter was still secretary to the hospital where Reardon had once
earned his twenty shillings a week but by voyaging in the seas of charitable
enterprise he had come upon supplementary sources of income for instance he
held the post of secretary to the Barclay Trust a charity whose moderate funds
were largely devoted to the support of gentlemen engaged in administering it
This young man with his air of pleasing vivacity had early ingratiated himself
with the kind of people who were likely to be of use to him he had his reward
in the shape of offices which are only procured through private influence His
wife was a goodnatured lively and rather clever girl she had a genuine
regard for Amy and much respect for Reardon Her ambition was to form a circle
of distinctly intellectual acquaintances and she was constantly inviting the
Reardons to her house a real live novelist is not easily drawn into the world
where Mrs Carter had her being and it annoyed her that all attempts to secure
Amy and her husband for five oclock teas and small parties had of late failed
On the afternoon when Reardon had visited a secondhand bookseller with a
view of raising money he was again shut up in his study dolorously at work
Amy was disturbed by the sound of a visitors rattat the little servant went
to the door and returned followed by Mrs Carter
Under the best of circumstances it was awkward to receive any but intimate
friends during the hours when Reardon sat at his desk The little diningroom
with its screen to conceal the kitchen range offered nothing more than homely
comfort and then the servant had to be disposed of by sending her into the
bedroom to take care of Willie Privacy in the strict sense was impossible
for the servant might listen at the door one room led out of the other to all
the conversation that went on yet Amy could not request her visitors to speak
in a low tone For the first year these difficulties had not been felt Reardon
made a point of leaving the front room at his wifes disposal from three to six
it was only when dread of the future began to press upon him that he sat in the
study all day long You see how complicated were the miseries of the situation
one torment involved another and in every quarter subjects of discontent were
multiplied
Mrs Carter would have taken it ill had she known that Amy did not regard her
as strictly an intimate They addressed each other by their Christian names and
conversed without ceremony but Amy was always dissatisfied when the
welldressed young woman burst with laughter and animated talk into this abode
of concealed poverty Edith was not the kind of person with whom one can
quarrel she had a kind heart and was never disagreeably pretentious Had
circumstances allowed it Amy would have given frank welcome to such friendship
she would have been glad to accept as many invitations as Edith chose to offer
But at present it did her harm to come in contact with Mrs Carter it made her
envious cold to her husband resentful against fate
»Why cant she leave me alone« was the thought that rose in her mind as
Edith entered »I shall let her see that I dont want her here«
»Your husband at work« Edith asked with a glance in the direction of the
study as soon as they had exchanged kisses and greetings
»Yes he is busy«
»And you are sitting alone as usual I feared you might be out an
afternoon of sunshine isnt to be neglected at this time of year«
»Is there sunshine« Amy inquired coldly
»Why look Do you mean to say you havent noticed it What a comical person
you are sometimes I suppose you have been over head and ears in books all day
How is Willie«
»Very well thank you«
»Maynt I see him«
»If you like«
Amy stepped to the bedroom door and bade the servant bring Willie for
exhibition Edith who as yet had no child of her own always showed the most
flattering admiration of this infant it was so manifestly sincere that the
mother could not but be moved to a grateful friendliness whenever she listened
to its expression Even this afternoon the usual effect followed when Edith had
made a pretty and tender fool of herself for several minutes Amy bade the
servant make tea
At this moment the door from the passage opened and Reardon looked in
»Well if this isnt marvellous« cried Edith »I should as soon have
expected the heavens to fall«
»As what« asked Reardon with a pale smile
»As you to show yourself when I am here«
»I should like to say that I came on purpose to see you Mrs Carter but it
wouldnt be true Im going out for an hour so that you can take possession of
the other room if you like Amy«
»Going out« said Amy with a look of surprise
»Nothing nothing I mustnt stay«
He just inquired of Mrs Carter how her husband was and withdrew The door
of the flat was heard to close after him
»Let us go into the study then« said Amy again in rather a cold voice
On Reardons desk were lying slips of blank paper Edith approaching on
tiptoe with what was partly makebelieve partly genuine awe looked at the
literary apparatus then turned with a laugh to her friend
»How delightful it must be to sit down and write about people one has
invented Ever since I have known you and Mr Reardon I have been tempted to try
if I couldnt write a story«
»Have you«
»And Im sure I dont know how you can resist the temptation I feel sure
you could write books almost as clever as your husbands«
»I have no intention of trying«
»You dont seem very well today Amy«
»Oh I think I am as well as usual«
She guessed that her husband was once more brought to a standstill and
this darkened her humour again
»One of my reasons for coming« said Edith »was to beg and entreat and
implore you and Mr Reardon to dine with us next Wednesday Now dont put on such
a severe face Are you engaged that evening«
»Yes in the ordinary way Edwin cant possibly leave his work«
»But for one poor evening Its such ages since we saw you«
»Im very sorry I dont think we shall ever be able to accept invitations
in future«
Amy spoke thus at the prompting of a sudden impulse A minute ago no such
definite declaration was in her mind
»Never« exclaimed Edith »But why Whatever do you mean«
»We find that social engagements consume too much time« Amy replied her
explanation just as much of an impromptu as the announcement had been »You see
one must either belong to society or not Married people cant accept an
occasional invitation from friends and never do their social duty in return We
have decided to withdraw altogether at all events for the present I shall see
no one except my relatives«
Edith listened with a face of astonishment
»You wont even see me« she exclaimed
»Indeed I have no wish to lose your friendship Yet I am ashamed to ask you
to come here when I can never return your visits«
»Oh please dont put it in that way But it seems so very strange«
Edith could not help conjecturing the true significance of this resolve
But as is commonly the case with people in easy circumstances she found it
hard to believe that her friends were so straitened as to have a difficulty in
supporting the ordinary obligations of a civilised state
»I know how precious your husbands time is« she added as if to remove the
effect of her last remark »Surely theres no harm in my saying we know each
other well enough you wouldnt think it necessary to devote an evening to
entertaining us just because you had given us the pleasure of your company I
put it very stupidly but Im sure you understand me Amy Dont refuse just to
come to our house now and then«
»Im afraid we shall have to be consistent Edith«
»But do you think this is a wise thing to do«
»Wise«
»You know what you once told me about how necessary it was for a novelist
to study all sorts of people How can Mr Reardon do this if he shuts himself up
in the house I should have thought he would find it necessary to make new
acquaintances«
»As I said« returned Amy »it wont be always like this For the present
Edwin has quite enough material«
She spoke distantly it irritated her to have to invent excuses for the
sacrifice she had just imposed on herself Edith sipped the tea which had been
offered her and for a minute kept silence
»When will Mr Reardons next book be published« she asked at length
»Im sure I dont know Not before the spring«
»I shall look so anxiously for it Whenever I meet new people I always turn
the conversation to novels just for the sake of asking them if they know your
husbands books«
She laughed merrily
»Which is seldom the case I should think« said Amy with a smile of
indifference
»Well my dear you dont expect ordinary novelreaders to know about Mr
Reardon I wish my acquaintances were a better kind of people then of course
I should hear of his books more often But one has to make the best of such
society as offers If you and your husband forsake me I shall feel it a sad
loss I shall indeed«
Amy gave a quick glance at the speakers face
»Oh we must be friends just the same« she said more naturally than she
had spoken hitherto »But dont ask us to come and dine just now All through
this winter we shall be very busy both of us Indeed we have decided not to
accept any invitations at all«
»Then so long as you let me come here now and then I must give in I
promise not to trouble you with any more complaining But how you can live such
a life I dont know I consider myself more of a reader than women generally
are and I should be mortally offended if anyone called me frivolous but I must
have a good deal of society Really and truly I cant live without it«
»No« said Amy with a smile which meant more than Edith could interpret It
seemed slightly condescending
»Theres no knowing perhaps if I had married a literary man « She paused
smiling and musing »But then I havent you see« She laughed »Albert is
anything but a bookworm as you know«
»You wouldnt wish him to be«
»Oh no Not a bookworm To be sure we suit each other very well indeed He
likes society just as much as I do It would be the death of him if he didnt
spend threequarters of every day with lively people«
»Thats rather a large portion But then you count yourself among the lively
ones«
They exchanged looks and laughed together
»Of course you think me rather silly to want to talk so much with silly
people« Edith went on »But then theres generally some amusement to be got
you know I dont take life quite so seriously as you do People are people
after all its good fun to see how they live and hear how they talk«
Amy felt that she was playing a sorry part She thought of sour grapes and
of the fox who had lost his tail Worst of all perhaps Edith suspected the
truth She began to make inquiries about common acquaintances and fell into an
easier current of gossip
A quarter of an hour after the visitors departure Reardon came back Amy
had guessed aright the necessity of selling his books weighed upon him so that
for the present he could do nothing The evening was spent gloomily with very
little conversation
Next day came the bookseller to make his inspection Reardon had chosen out
and ranged upon a table nearly a hundred volumes With a few exceptions they had
been purchased secondhand The tradesman examined them rapidly
»What do you ask« he inquired putting his head aside
»I prefer that you should make an offer« Reardon replied with the
helplessness of one who lives remote from traffic
»I cant say more than two pounds ten«
»That is at the rate of sixpence a volume «
»To me thats about the average value of books like these«
Perhaps the offer was a fair one perhaps it was not Reardon had neither
time nor spirit to test the possibilities of the market he was ashamed to
betray his need by higgling
»Ill take it« he said in a matteroffact voice
A messenger was sent for the books that afternoon He stowed them skilfully
in two bags and carried them downstairs to a cart that was waiting
Reardon looked at the gaps left on his shelves Many of those vanished
volumes were dear old friends to him he could have told you where he had picked
them up and when to open them recalled a past moment of intellectual growth a
mood of hope or despondency a stage of struggle In most of them his name was
written and there were often pencilled notes in the margin Of course he had
chosen from among the most valuable he possessed such a multitude must else
have been sold to make this sum of two pounds ten Books are cheap you know At
need one can buy a Homer for fourpence a Sophocles for sixpence It was not
rubbish that he had accumulated at so small expenditure but the library of a
poor student battered bindings stained pages supplanted editions He loved
his books but there was something he loved more and when Amy glanced at him
with eyes of sympathy he broke into a cheerful laugh
»Im only sorry they have gone for so little Tell me when the money is
nearly at an end again and you shall have more Its all right the novel will
be done soon«
And that night he worked until twelve oclock doggedly fiercely
The next day was Sunday As a rule he made it a day of rest and almost
perforce for the depressing influence of Sunday in London made work too
difficult Then it was the day on which he either went to see his own
particular friends or was visited by them
»Do you expect anyone this evening« Amy inquired
»Biffen will look in I dare say Perhaps Milvain«
»I think I shall take Willie to mothers I shall be back before eight«
»Amy dont say anything about the books«
»No no«
»I suppose they always ask you when we think of removing over the way«
He pointed in a direction that suggested Marylebone Workhouse Amy tried to
laugh but a woman with a child in her arms has no keen relish for such jokes
»I dont talk to them about our affairs« she said
»Thats best«
She left home about three oclock the servant going with her to carry the
child
At five a familiar knock sounded through the flat it was a heavy rap
followed by half a dozen light ones like a reverberating echo the last stroke
scarcely audible Reardon laid down his book but kept his pipe in his mouth
and went to the door A tall thin man stood there with a slouch hat and long
grey overcoat He shook hands silently hung his hat in the passage and came
forward into the study
His name was Harold Biffen and to judge from his appearance he did not
belong to the race of common mortals His excessive meagreness would all but
have qualified him to enter an exhibition in the capacity of living skeleton
and the garments which hung upon this framework would perhaps have sold for
three and sixpence at an oldclothes dealers But the man was superior to these
accidents of flesh and raiment He had a fine face large gentle eyes nose
slightly aquiline small and delicate mouth Thick black hair fell to his
coatcollar he wore a heavy moustache and a full beard In his gait there was a
singular dignity only a man of cultivated mind and graceful character could
move and stand as he did
His first act on entering the room was to take from his pocket a pipe a
pouch a little tobaccostopper and a box of matches all of which he arranged
carefully on a corner of the central table Then he drew forward a chair and
seated himself
»Take your topcoat off« said Reardon
»Thanks not this evening«
»Why the deuce not«
»Not this evening thanks«
The reason as soon as Reardon sought for it was obvious Biffen had no
ordinary coat beneath the other To have referred to this fact would have been
indelicate the novelist of course understood it and smiled but with no mirth
»Let me have your Sophocles« were the visitors next words
Reardon offered him a volume of the Oxford Pocket Classics
»I prefer the Wunder please«
»Its gone my boy«
»Gone«
»Wanted a little cash«
Biffen uttered a sound in which remonstrance and sympathy were blended
»Im sorry to hear that very sorry Well this must do Now I want to know
how you scan this chorus in the OEdipus Rex«
Reardon took the volume considered and began to read aloud with metric
emphasis
»Choriambics eh« cried the other »Possible of course but treat them as
Ionics a minore with an anacrusis and see if they dont go better«
He involved himself in terms of pedantry and with such delight that his
eyes gleamed Having delivered a technical lecture he began to read in
illustration producing quite a different effect from that of the rhythm as
given by his friend And the reading was by no means that of a pedant rather of
a poet
For half an hour the two men talked Greek metres as if they lived in a world
where the only hunger known could be satisfied by grand or sweet cadences
They had first met in an amusing way Not long after the publication of his
book »On Neutral Ground« Reardon was spending a week at Hastings A rainy day
drove him to the circulating library and as he was looking along the shelves
for something readable a voice near at hand asked the attendant if he had
anything by Edwin Reardon The novelist turned in astonishment that any casual
mortal should inquire for his books seemed incredible Of course there was
nothing by that author in the library and he who had asked the question walked
out again On the morrow Reardon encountered this same man at a lonely part of
the shore he looked at him and spoke a word or two of common civility they
got into conversation with the result that Edwin told the story of yesterday
The stranger introduced himself as Harold Biffen an author in a small way and
a teacher whenever he could get pupils an abusive review had interested him in
Reardons novels but as yet he knew nothing of them but the names
Their tastes were found to be in many respects sympathetic and after
returning to London they saw each other frequently Biffen was always in dire
poverty and lived in the oddest places he had seen harder trials than even
Reardon himself The teaching by which he partly lived was of a kind quite
unknown to the respectable tutorial world In these days of examinations
numbers of men in a poor position clerks chiefly conceive a hope that by
passing this that or the other formal test they may open for themselves a new
career Not a few such persons nourish preposterous ambitions there are
warehouse clerks privately preparing without any means or prospect of them for
a call to the Bar drapers assistants who go in for the preliminary examination
of the College of Surgeons and untaught men innumerable who desire to procure
enough show of education to be eligible for a curacy Candidates of this stamp
frequently advertise in the newspapers for cheap tuition or answer
advertisements which are intended to appeal to them they pay from sixpence to
half a crown an hour rarely as much as the latter sum Occasionally it
happened that Harold Biffen had three or four such pupils in hand and
extraordinary stories he could draw from his large experience in this sphere
Then as to his authorship But shortly after the discussion of Greek
metres he fell upon the subject of his literary projects and by no means for
the first time developed the theory on which he worked
»I have thought of a new way of putting it What I really aim at is an
absolute realism in the sphere of the ignobly decent The field as I understand
it is a new one I dont know any writer who has treated ordinary vulgarlife
with fidelity and seriousness Zola writes deliberate tragedies his vilest
figures become heroic from the place they fill in a strongly imagined drama I
want to deal with the essentially unheroic with the daytoday life of that
vast majority of people who are at the mercy of paltry circumstance Dickens
understood the possibility of such work but his tendency to melodrama on the
one hand and his humour on the other prevented him from thinking of it An
instance now As I came along by Regents Park half an hour ago a man and a
girl were walking close in front of me lovemaking I passed them slowly and
heard a good deal of their talk it was part of the situation that they should
pay no heed to a strangers proximity Now such a lovescene as that has
absolutely never been written down it was entirely decent yet vulgar to the n
th power Dickens would have made it ludicrous a gross injustice Other men
who deal with lowclass life would perhaps have preferred idealising it an
absurdity For my own part I am going to reproduce it verbatim without one
single impertinent suggestion of any point of view save that of honest
reporting The result will be something unutterably tedious Precisely That is
the stamp of the ignobly decent life If it were anything but tedious it would
be untrue I speak of course of its effect upon the ordinary reader«
»I couldnt do it« said Reardon
»Certainly you couldnt You well you are a psychological realist in the
sphere of culture You are impatient of vulgar circumstances«
»In a great measure because my life has been martyred by them«
»And for that very same reason I delight in them« cried Biffen »You are
repelled by what has injured you I am attracted by it This divergence is very
interesting but for that we should have resembled each other so closely You
know that by temper we are rabid idealists both of us«
»I suppose so«
»But let me go on I want among other things to insist upon the fateful
power of trivial incidents No one has yet dared to do this seriously It has
often been done in farce and thats why farcical writing so often makes one
melancholy You know my stock instances of the kind of thing I mean There was
poor Allen who lost the most valuable opportunity of his life because he hadnt
a clean shirt to put on and Williamson who would probably have married that
rich girl but for the grain of dust that got into his eye and made him unable to
say or do anything at the critical moment«
Reardon burst into a roar of laughter
»There you are« cried Biffen with friendly annoyance »You take the
conventional view If you wrote of these things you would represent them as
laughable«
»They are laughable« asserted the other »however serious to the persons
concerned The mere fact of grave issues in life depending on such paltry things
is monstrously ludicrous Life is a huge farce and the advantage of possessing
a sense of humour is that it enables one to defy with mocking laughter«
»Thats all very well but it isnt an original view I am not lacking in
sense of humour but I prefer to treat these aspects of life from an impartial
standpoint The man who laughs takes the side of a cruel omnipotence if one can
imagine such a thing I want to take no side at all simply to say Look this
is the kind of thing that happens«
»I admire your honesty Biffen« said Reardon sighing »You will never sell
work of this kind yet you have the courage to go on with it because you believe
in it«
»I dont know I may perhaps sell it some day«
»In the meantime« said Reardon laying down his pipe »suppose we eat a
morsel of something Im rather hungry«
In the early days of his marriage Reardon was wont to offer the friends who
looked in on Sunday evening a substantial supper by degrees the meal had grown
simpler until now in the depth of his poverty he made no pretence of
hospitable entertainment It was only because he knew that Biffen as often as
not had nothing whatever to eat that he did not hesitate to offer him a slice of
bread and butter and a cup of tea They went into the back room and over the
Spartan fare continued to discuss aspects of fiction
»I shall never« said Biffen »write anything like a dramatic scene Such
things do happen in life but so very rarely that they are nothing to my
purpose Even when they happen bytheby it is in a shape that would be
useless to the ordinary novelist he would have to cut away this circumstance
and add that Why I should like to know Such conventionalism results from
stage necessities Fiction hasnt yet outgrown the influence of the stage on
which it originated Whatever a man writes for effect is wrong and bad«
»Only in your view There may surely exist such a thing as the art of
fiction«
»It is worked out We must have a rest from it You now the best things
you have done are altogether in conflict with novelistic conventionalities It
was because that blackguard review of On Neutral Ground clumsily hinted this
that I first thought of you with interest No no let us copy life When the
man and woman are to meet for a great scene of passion let it all be frustrated
by one or other of them having a bad cold in the head and so on Let the pretty
girl get a disfiguring pimple on her nose just before the ball at which she is
going to shine Show the numberless repulsive features of common decent life
Seriously coldly not a hint of facetiousness or the thing becomes different«
About eight oclock Reardon heard his wifes knock at the door On opening
he saw not only Amy and the servant the latter holding Willie in her arms but
with them Jasper Milvain
»I have been at Mrs Yules« Jasper explained as he came in »Have you
anyone here«
»Biffen«
»Ah then well discuss realism«
»Thats over for the evening Greek metres also«
»Thank Heaven«
The three men seated themselves with joking and laughter and the smoke of
their pipes gathered thickly in the little room It was half an hour before Amy
joined them Tobacco was no disturbance to her and she enjoyed the kind of talk
that was held on these occasions but it annoyed her that she could no longer
play the hostess at a merry suppertable
»Why ever are you sitting in your overcoat Mr Biffen« were her first words
when she entered
»Please excuse me Mrs Reardon It happens to be more convenient this
evening«
She was puzzled but a glance from her husband warned her not to pursue the
subject
Biffen always behaved to Amy with a sincerity of respect which had made him
a favourite with her To him poor fellow Reardon seemed supremely blessed
That a struggling man of letters should have been able to marry and such a
wife was miraculous in Biffens eyes A womans love was to him the
unattainable ideal already thirtyfive years old he had no prospect of ever
being rich enough to assure himself a daily dinner marriage was wildly out of
the question Sitting here he found it very difficult not to gaze at Amy with
uncivil persistency Seldom in his life had he conversed with educated women
and the sound of this clear voice was always more delightful to him than any
music
Amy took a place near to him and talked in her most charming way of such
things as she knew interested him Biffens deferential attitude as he listened
and replied was in strong contrast with the careless ease which marked Jasper
Milvain The realist would never smoke in Amys presence but Jasper puffed
jovial clouds even while she was conversing with him
»Whelpdale came to see me last night« remarked Milvain presently »His
novel is refused on all hands He talks of earning a living as a commission
agent for some sewingmachine people«
»I cant understand how his book should be positively refused« said
Reardon »The last wasnt altogether a failure«
»Very nearly And this one consists of nothing but a series of conversations
between two people It is really a dialogue not a novel at all He read me some
twenty pages and I no longer wondered that he couldnt sell it«
»Oh but it has considerable merit« put in Biffen »The talk is remarkably
true«
»But whats the good of talk that leads to nothing« protested Jasper
»Its a bit of real life«
»Yes but it has no market value You may write what you like so long as
people are willing to read you Whelpdales a clever fellow but he cant hit a
practical line«
»Like some other people I have heard of« said Reardon laughing
»But the odd thing is that he always strikes one as practicalminded Dont
you feel that Mrs Reardon«
He and Amy talked for a few minutes and Reardon seemingly lost in
meditation now and then observed them from the corner of his eye
At eleven oclock husband and wife were alone again
»You dont mean to say« exclaimed Amy »that Biffen has sold his coat«
»Or pawned it«
»But why not the overcoat«
»Partly I should think because its the warmer of the two partly
perhaps because the other would fetch more«
»That poor man will die of starvation some day Edwin«
»I think it not impossible«
»I hope you gave him something to eat«
»Oh yes But I could see he didnt like to take as much as he wanted I
dont think of him with so much pity as I used to thats a result of suffering
oneself«
Amy set her lips and sighed
Chapter 11
Respite
The last volume was written in fourteen days In this achievement Reardon rose
almost to heroic pitch for he had much to contend with beyond the mere labour
of composition Scarcely had he begun when a sharp attack of lumbago fell upon
him for two or three days it was torture to support himself at the desk and he
moved about like a cripple Upon this ensued headaches sorethroat general
enfeeblement And before the end of the fortnight it was necessary to think of
raising another small sum of money he took his watch to the pawnbrokers you
can imagine that it would not stand as security for much and sold a few more
books All this notwithstanding here was the novel at length finished When he
had written The End he lay back closed his eyes and let time pass in blankness
for a quarter of an hour
It remained to determine the title But his brain refused another effort
after a few minutes feeble search he simply took the name of the chief female
character Margaret Home That must do for the book Already with the penning
of the last word all its scenes personages dialogues had slipped away into
oblivion he knew and cared nothing more about them
»Amy you will have to correct the proofs for me Never as long as I live
will I look upon a page of this accursed novel It has all but killed me«
»The point is« replied Amy »that here we have it complete Pack it up and
take it to the publishers tomorrow morning«
»I will«
»And you will ask them to advance you a few pounds«
»I must«
But that undertaking was almost as hard to face as a rewriting of the last
volume would have been Reardon had such superfluity of sensitiveness that for
his own part he would far rather have gone hungry than ask for money not
legally his due Today there was no choice In the ordinary course of business
it would be certainly a month before he heard the publishers terms and perhaps
the Christmas season might cause yet more delay Without borrowing he could not
provide for the expenses of more than another week or two
His parcel under his arm he entered the groundfloor office and desired to
see that member of the firm with whom he had previously had personal relations
This gentleman was not in town he would be away for a few days Reardon left
the manuscript and came out into the street again
He crossed and looked up at the publishers windows from the opposite
pavement »Do they suspect in what wretched circumstances I am Would it
surprise them to know all that depends upon that budget of paltry scribbling I
suppose not it must be a daily experience with them Well I must write a
begging letter«
It was raining and windy He went slowly homewards and was on the point of
entering the public door of the flats when his uneasiness became so great that
he turned and walked past If he went in he must at once write his appeal for
money and he felt that he could not The degradation seemed too great
Was there no way of getting over the next few weeks Rent of course would
be due at Christmas but that payment might be postponed it was only a question
of buying food and fuel Amy had offered to ask her mother for a few pounds it
would be cowardly to put this task upon her now that he had promised to meet the
difficulty himself What man in all London could and would lend him money He
reviewed the list of his acquaintances but there was only one to whom he could
appeal with the slightest hope that was Carter
Half an hour later he entered that same hospital door through which some
years ago he had passed as a halfstarved applicant for work The matron met
him
»Is Mr Carter here«
»No sir But we expect him any minute Will you wait«
He entered the familiar office and sat down At the table where he had been
wont to work a young clerk was writing If only all the events of the last few
years could be undone and he with no soul dependent upon him be once more
earning his pound a week in this room What a happy man he was in those days
Nearly half an hour passed It is the common experience of beggars to have
to wait Then Carter came in with quick step he wore a heavy ulster of the
latest fashion new gloves a resplendent silk hat his cheeks were rosy from
the east wind
»Ha Reardon How do how do Delighted to see you«
»Are you very busy«
»Well no not particularly A few cheques to sign and were just getting
out our Christmas appeals You remember«
He laughed gaily There was a remarkable freedom from snobbishness in this
young man the fact of Reardons intellectual superiority had long ago
counteracted Carters social prejudices
»I should like to have a word with you«
»Right you are«
They went into a small inner room Reardons pulse beat at feverrate his
tongue was cleaving to his palate
»What is it old man« asked the secretary seating himself and flinging one
of his legs over the other »You look rather seedy do you know Why the deuce
dont you and your wife look us up now and then«
»Ive had a hard pull to finish my novel«
»Finished is it Im glad to hear that Whenll it be out Ill send scores
of people to Mudies after it«
»Thanks but I dont think much of it to tell you the truth«
»Oh we know what that means«
Reardon was talking like an automaton It seemed to him that he turned
screws and pressed levers for the utterance of his next words
»I may as well say at once what I have come for Could you lend me ten
pounds for a month in fact until I get the money for my book«
The secretarys countenance fell though not to that expression of utter
coldness which would have come naturally under the circumstances to a great many
vivacious men He seemed genuinely embarrassed
»By Jove I confound it To tell you the truth I havent ten pounds to
lend Upon my word I havent Reardon These infernal housekeeping expenses I
dont mind telling you old man that Edith and I have been pushing the pace
rather« He laughed and thrust his hands down into his trouserspockets »We
pay such a darned rent you know hundred and twentyfive Weve only just been
saying we should have to draw it mild for the rest of the winter But Im
infernally sorry upon my word I am«
»And I am sorry to have annoyed you by the unseasonable request«
»Devilish seasonable Reardon I assure you« cried the secretary and
roared at his joke It put him into a better temper than ever and he said at
length »I suppose a fiver wouldnt be much use For a month you say I
might manage a fiver I think«
»It would be very useful But on no account if «
»No no I could manage a fiver for a month Shall I give you a cheque«
»Im ashamed «
»Not a bit of it Ill go and write the cheque«
Reardons face was burning Of the conversation that followed when Carter
again presented himself he never recalled a word The bit of paper was crushed
together in his hand Out in the street again he all but threw it away
dreaming for the moment that it was a bus ticket or a patent medicine bill
He reached home much after the dinner hour Amy was surprised at his long
absence
»Got any thing« she asked
»Yes«
It was half his intention to deceive her to say that the publishers had
advanced him five pounds But that would be his first word of untruth to Amy
and why should he be guilty of it He told her all that had happened The result
of this frankness was something that he had not anticipated Amy exhibited
profound vexation
»Oh you shouldnt have done that« she exclaimed »Why didnt you come home
and tell me I would have gone to mother at once«
»But does it matter«
»Of course it does« she replied sharply »Mr Carter will tell his wife and
how pleasant that is«
»I never thought of that And perhaps it wouldnt have seemed to me so
annoying as it does to you«
»Very likely not«
She turned abruptly away and stood at a distance in gloomy muteness
»Well« she said at length »theres no helping it now Come and have your
dinner«
»You have taken away my appetite«
»Nonsense I suppose youre dying of hunger«
They had a very uncomfortable meal exchanging few words On Amys face was
a look more resembling bad temper than anything Reardon had ever seen there
After dinner he went and sat alone in the study Amy did not come near him He
grew stubbornly angry remembering the pain he had gone through he felt that
Amys behaviour to him was cruel She must come and speak when she would
At six oclock she showed her face in the doorway and asked if he would come
to tea
»Thank you« he replied »I had rather stay here«
»As you please«
And he sat alone until about nine It was only then he recollected that he
must send a note to the publishers calling their attention to the parcel he had
left He wrote it and closed with a request that they would let him hear as
soon as they conveniently could As he was putting on his hat and coat to go out
and post the letter Amy opened the diningroom door
»Youre going out«
»Yes«
»Shall you be long«
»I think not«
He was away only a few minutes On returning he went first of all into the
study but the thought of Amy alone in the other room would not let him rest He
looked in and saw that she was sitting without a fire
»You cant stay here in the cold Amy«
»Im afraid I must get used to it« she replied affecting to be closely
engaged upon some sewing
That strength of character which it had always delighted him to read in her
features was become an ominous hardness He felt his heart sink as he looked at
her
»Is poverty going to have the usual result in our case« he asked drawing
nearer
»I never pretended that I could be indifferent to it«
»Still dont you care to try and resist it«
She gave no answer As usual in conversation with an aggrieved woman it was
necessary to go back from the general to the particular
»Im afraid« he said »that the Carters already knew pretty well how things
were going with us«
»Thats a very different thing But when it comes to asking them for money
«
»Im very sorry I would rather have done anything if I had known how it
would annoy you«
»If we have to wait a month five pounds will be very little use to us«
She detailed all manner of expenses that had to be met outlay there was no
possibility of avoiding so long as their life was maintained on its present
basis
»However you neednt trouble any more about it Ill see to it Now you are
free from your book try to rest«
»Come and sit by the fire Theres small chance of rest for me if we are
thinking unkindly of each other«
A doleful Christmas Week after week went by and Reardon knew that Amy must have
exhausted the money he had given to her But she made no more demands upon him
and necessaries were paid for in the usual way He suffered from a sense of
humiliation sometimes he found it difficult to look in his wifes face
When the publishers letter came it contained an offer of seventyfive
pounds for the copyright of »Margaret Home« twentyfive more to be paid if the
sale in threevolume form should reach a certain number of copies
Here was failure put into unmistakable figures Reardon said to himself that
it was all over with his profession of authorship The book could not possibly
succeed even to the point of completing his hundred pounds it would meet with
universal contempt and indeed deserved nothing better
»Shall you accept this« asked Amy after dreary silence
»No one else would offer terms as good«
»Will they pay you at once«
»I must ask them to«
Well it was seventyfive pounds in hand The cheque came as soon as it was
requested and Reardons face brightened for the moment Blessed money root of
all good until the world invent some saner economy
»How much do you owe your mother« he inquired without looking at Amy
»Six pounds« she answered coldly
»And five to Carter and rent twelve pounds ten We shall have a matter of
fifty pounds to go on with«
Chapter 12
Work without Hope
The prudent course was so obvious that he marvelled at Amys failing to suggest
it For people in their circumstances to be paying a rent of fifty pounds when a
home could be found for half the money was recklessness there would be no
difficulty in letting the flat for this last year of their lease and the cost
of removal would be trifling The mental relief of such a change might enable
him to front with courage a problem in any case very difficult and as things
were desperate Three months ago in a moment of profoundest misery he had
proposed this step courage failed him to speak of it again Amys look and
voice were too vivid in his memory Was she not capable of such a sacrifice for
his sake Did she prefer to let him bear all the responsibility of whatever
might result from a futile struggle to keep up appearances
Between him and her there was no longer perfect confidence Her silence
meant reproach and whatever might have been the case before there was no
doubt that she now discussed him with her mother possibly with other people It
was not likely that she concealed his own opinion of the book he had just
finished all their acquaintances would be prepared to greet its publication
with private scoffing or with mournful shaking of the head His feeling towards
Amy entered upon a new phase The stability of his love was a source of pain
condemning himself he felt at the same time that he was wronged A coldness
which was far from representing the truth began to affect his manner and speech
and Amy did not seem to notice it at all events she made no kind of protest
They no longer talked of the old subjects but of those mean concerns of
material life which formerly they had agreed to dismiss as quickly as possible
Their relations to each other not long ago an inexhaustible topic would not
bear spoken comment both were too conscious of the dangersignal when they
looked that way
In the time of waiting for the publishers offer and now again when he was
asking himself how he should use the respite granted him Reardon spent his days
at the British Museum He could not read to much purpose but it was better to
sit here among strangers than seem to be idling under Amys glance Sick of
imaginative writing he turned to the studies which had always been most
congenial and tried to shape out a paper or two like those he had formerly
disposed of to editors Among his unused material lay a mass of notes he had
made in a reading of Diogenes Laertius and it seemed to him now that he might
make something saleable out of these anecdotes of the philosophers In a happier
mood he could have written delightfully on such a subject not learnedly but
in the strain of a modern man whose humour and sensibility find free play among
the classic ghosts even now he was able to recover something of the light touch
which had given value to his published essays
Meanwhile the first number of The Current had appeared and Jasper Milvain
had made a palpable hit Amy spoke very often of the article called »Typical
Readers« and her interest in its author was freely manifested Whenever a
mention of Jasper came under her notice she read it out to her husband Reardon
smiled and appeared glad but he did not care to discuss Milvain with the same
frankness as formerly
One evening at the end of January he told Amy what he had been writing at
the Museum and asked her if she would care to hear it read
»I began to wonder what you were doing« she replied
»Then why didnt you ask me«
»I was rather afraid to«
»Why afraid«
»It would have seemed like reminding you that you know what I mean«
»That a month or two more will see us at the same crisis again Still I had
rather you had shown an interest in my doings«
After a pause Amy asked
»Do you think you can get a paper of this kind accepted«
»It isnt impossible I think its rather well done Let me read you a page
«
»Where will you send it« she interrupted
»To The Wayside«
»Why not try The Current Ask Milvain to introduce you to Mr Fadge They pay
much better you know«
»But this isnt so well suited for Fadge And I much prefer to be
independent as long as its possible«
»Thats one of your faults Edwin« remarked his wife mildly »Its only
the strongest men that can make their way independently You ought to use every
means that offers«
»Seeing that I am so weak«
»I didnt think it would offend you I only meant «
»No no you are quite right Certainly I am one of the men who need all
the help they can get But I assure you this thing wont do for The Current«
»What a pity you will go back to those musty old times Now think of that
article of Milvains If only you could do something of that kind What do
people care about Diogenes and his tub and his lantern«
»My dear girl Diogenes Laertius had neither tub nor lantern that I know
of You are making a mistake but it doesnt matter«
»No I dont think it does« The caustic note was not very pleasant on Amys
lips »Whoever he was the mass of readers will be frightened by his name«
»Well we have to recognise that the mass of readers will never care for
anything I do«
»You will never convince me that you couldnt write in a popular way if you
tried Im sure you are quite as clever as Milvain «
Reardon made an impatient gesture
»Do leave Milvain aside for a little He and I are as unlike as two men
could be Whats the use of constantly comparing us«
Amy looked at him He had never spoken to her so brusquely
»How can you say that I am constantly comparing you«
»If not in spoken words then in your thoughts«
»Thats not a very nice thing to say Edwin«
»You make it so unmistakable Amy What I mean is that you are always
regretting the difference between him and me You lament that I cant write in
that attractive way Well I lament it myself for your sake I wish I had
Milvains peculiar talent so that I could get reputation and money But I
havent and theres an end of it It irritates a man to be perpetually told of
his disadvantages«
»I will never mention Milvains name again« said Amy coldly
»Now thats ridiculous and you know it«
»I feel the same about your irritation I cant see that I have given any
cause for it«
»Then well talk no more of the matter«
Reardon threw his manuscript aside and opened a book Amy never asked him
to resume his intention of reading what he had written
However the paper was accepted It came out in The Wayside for March and
Reardon received seven pounds ten for it By that time he had written another
thing of the same gossipy kind suggested by Plinys Letters The pleasant
occupation did him good but there was no possibility of pursuing this course
»Margaret Home« would be published in April he might get the fiveandtwenty
pounds contingent upon a certain sale yet that could in no case be paid until
the middle of the year and long before then he would be penniless His respite
drew to an end
But now he took counsel of no one as far as it was possible he lived in
solitude never seeing those of his acquaintances who were outside the literary
world and seldom even his colleagues Milvain was so busy that he had only been
able to look in twice or thrice since Christmas and Reardon nowadays never went
to Jaspers lodgings
He had the conviction that all was over with the happiness of his married
life though how the events which were to express this ruin would shape
themselves he could not foresee Amy was revealing that aspect of her character
to which he had been blind though a practical man would have perceived it from
the first so far from helping him to support poverty she perhaps would even
refuse to share it with him He knew that she was slowly drawing apart already
there was a divorce between their minds and he tortured himself in uncertainty
as to how far he retained her affections A word of tenderness a caress no
longer met with response from her her softest mood was that of mere
comradeship All the warmth of her nature was expended upon the child Reardon
learnt how easy it is for a mother to forget that both parents have a share in
her offspring
He was beginning to dislike the child But for Willies existence Amy would
still love him with undivided heart not perhaps so passionately as once but
still with lovers love And Amy understood or at all events remarked this
change in him She was aware that he seldom asked a question about Willie and
that he listened with indifference when she spoke of the little fellows
progress In part offended she was also in part pleased
But for the child mere poverty he said to himself should never have
sundered them In the strength of his passion he could have overcome all her
disappointments and indeed but for that new care he would most likely never
have fallen to this extremity of helplessness It is natural in a weak and
sensitive man to dream of possibilities disturbed by the force of circumstance
For one hour which he gave to conflict with his present difficulties Reardon
spent many in contemplation of the happiness that might have been
Even yet it needed but a little money to redeem all Amy had no extravagant
aspirations a home of simple refinement and freedom from anxiety would restore
her to her nobler self How could he find fault with her She knew nothing of
such sordid life as he had gone through and to lack money for necessities
seemed to her degrading beyond endurance Why even the ordinary artisans wife
does not suffer such privations as hers at the end of the past year For lack of
that little money his life must be ruined Of late he had often thought about
the rich uncle John Yule who might perhaps leave something to Amy but the
hope was so uncertain And supposing such a thing were to happen would it be
perfectly easy to live upon his wifes bounty perhaps exhausting a small
capital so that some years hence their position would be no better than
before Not long ago he could have taken anything from Amys hand would it be
so simple since the change that had come between them
Having written his second magazinearticle it was rejected by two editors
and he had no choice but to hold it over until sufficient time had elapsed to
allow of his again trying The Wayside he saw that he must perforce plan
another novel But this time he was resolute not to undertake three volumes The
advertisements informed him that numbers of authors were abandoning that
procrustean system hopeless as he was he might as well try his chance with a
book which could be written in a few weeks And why not a glaringly artificial
story with a sensational title It could not be worse than what he had last
written
So without a word to Amy he put aside his purely intellectual work and
began once more the search for a plot This was towards the end of February The
proofs of »Margaret Home« were coming in day by day Amy had offered to correct
them but after all he preferred to keep his shame to himself as long as
possible and with a hurried reading he dismissed sheet after sheet His
imagination did not work the more happily for this repugnant task still he hit
at length upon a conception which seemed absurd enough for the purpose before
him Whether he could persevere with it even to the extent of one volume was
very doubtful But it should not be said of him that he abandoned his wife and
child to penury without one effort of the kind that Milvain and Amy herself had
recommended
Writing a page or two of manuscript daily and with several holocausts to
retard him he had done nearly a quarter of the story when there came a note
from Jasper telling of Mrs Milvains death He handed it across the breakfast
table to Amy and watched her as she read it
»I suppose it doesnt alter his position« Amy remarked without much
interest
»I suppose not appreciably He told me once his mother had a sufficient
income but whatever she leaves will go to his sisters I should think He has
never said much to me«
Nearly three weeks passed before they heard anything more from Jasper
himself then he wrote again from the country saying that he purposed bringing
his sisters to live in London Another week and one evening he appeared at the
door
A want of heartiness in Reardons reception of him might have been explained
as gravity natural under the circumstances But Jasper had before this become
conscious that he was not welcomed here quite so cheerily as in the old days He
remarked it distinctly on that evening when he accompanied Amy home from Mrs
Yules since then he had allowed his pressing occupations to be an excuse for
the paucity of his visits It seemed to him perfectly intelligible that Reardon
sinking into literary insignificance should grow cool to a man entering upon a
successful career the vein of cynicism in Jasper enabled him to pardon a
weakness of this kind which in some measure flattered him But he both liked
and respected Reardon and at present he was in the mood to give expression to
his warmer feelings
»Your book is announced I see« he said with an accent of pleasure as soon
as he had seated himself
»I didnt know it«
»Yes New novel by the author of »On Neutral Ground« Down for the sixteenth
of April And I have a proposal to make about it Will you let me ask Fadge to
have it noticed in Books of the Month in the May Current«
»I strongly advise you to let it take its chance The book isnt worth
special notice and whoever undertook to review it for Fadge would either have
to lie or stultify the magazine«
Jasper turned to Amy
»Now what is to be done with a man like this What is one to say to him Mrs
Reardon«
»Edwin dislikes the book« Amy replied carelessly
»That has nothing to do with the matter We know quite well that in anything
he writes therell be something for a welldisposed reviewer to make a good deal
of If Fadge will let me I should do the thing myself«
Neither Reardon nor his wife spoke
»Of course« went on Milvain looking at the former »if you had rather I
left it alone «
»I had much rather Please dont say anything about it«
There was an awkward silence Amy broke it by saying
»Are your sisters in town Mr Milvain«
»Yes We came up two days ago I found lodgings for them not far from
Mornington Road Poor girls they dont quite know where they are yet Of
course they will keep very quiet for a time then I must try to get friends for
them Well they have one already your cousin Miss Yule She has already been
to see them«
»Im very glad of that«
Amy took an opportunity of studying his face There was again a silence as
if of constraint Reardon glancing at his wife said with hesitation
»When they care to see other visitors Im sure Amy would be very glad «
»Certainly« his wife added
»Thank you very much Of course I knew I could depend on Mrs Reardon to show
them kindness in that way But let me speak frankly of something My sisters
have made quite a friend of Miss Yule since she was down there last year
Wouldnt that« he turned to Amy »cause you a little awkwardness«
Amy had difficulty in replying She kept her eyes on the ground
»You have no quarrel with your cousin« remarked Reardon
»None whatever Its only my mother and my uncle«
»I cant imagine Miss Yule having a quarrel with anyone« said Jasper Then
he added quickly »Well things must shape themselves naturally We shall see
For the present they will be fully occupied Of course its best that they
should be I shall see them every day and Miss Yule will come pretty often I
dare say«
Reardon caught Amys eye but at once looked away again
»My word« exclaimed Milvain after a moments meditation »Its well this
didnt happen a year ago The girls have no income only a little cash to go on
with We shall have our work set Its a precious lucky thing that I have just
got a sort of footing«
Reardon muttered an assent
»And what are you doing now« Jasper inquired suddenly
»Writing a onevolume story«
»Im glad to hear that Any special plan for its publication«
»No«
»Then why not offer it to Jedwood Hes publishing a series of onevolume
novels You know of Jedwood dont you He was Culpeppers manager started
business about half a year ago and it looks as if he would do well He married
that woman whats her name Who wrote Mr Hendersons Wives«
»Never heard of it«
»Nonsense Miss Wilkes of course Well she married this fellow Jedwood
and there was a great row about something or other between him and her
publishers Mrs Boston Wright told me all about it An astonishing woman that a
cyclopædia of the days small talk Im quite a favourite with her shes
promised to help the girls all she can Well but I was talking about Jedwood
Why not offer him this book of yours Hes eager to get hold of the new writers
Advertises hugely he has the whole back page of The Study about every other
week I suppose Miss Wilkess profits are paying for it He has just given
Markland two hundred pounds for a paltry little tale that would scarcely swell
out to a volume Markland told me himself You know that Ive scraped an
acquaintance with him Oh I suppose I havent seen you since then Hes a
dwarfish fellow with only one eye Mrs Boston Wright cries him up at every
opportunity«
»Who is Mrs Boston Wright« asked Reardon laughing impatiently
»Edits The English Girl you know Shes had an extraordinary life Was born
in Mauritius no Ceylon I forget some such place Married a sailor at
fifteen Was shipwrecked somewhere and only restored to life after terrific
efforts her story leaves it all rather vague Then she turns up as a
newspaper correspondent at the Cape Gave up that and took to some kind of
farming I forget where Married again first husband lost in aforementioned
shipwreck this time a Baptist minister and began to devote herself to
soupkitchens in Liverpool Husband burned to death somewhere Shes next
discovered in the thick of literary society in London A wonderful woman I
assure you Must be nearly fifty but she looks twentyfive«
He paused then added impulsively
»Let me take you to one of her evenings nine on Thursday Do persuade him
Mrs Reardon«
Reardon shook his head
»No no I should be horribly out of my element«
»I cant see why You would meet all sorts of wellknown people those you
ought to have met long ago Better still let me ask her to send an invitation
for both of you Im sure youd like her Mrs Reardon Theres a good deal of
humbug about her its true but some solid qualities as well No one has a word
to say against her And its a splendid advertisement to have her for a friend
Shell talk about your books and articles till all is blue«
Amy gave a questioning look at her husband But Reardon moved in an
uncomfortable way
»Well see about it« he said »Some day perhaps«
»Let me know whenever you feel disposed But about Jedwood I happen to know
a man who reads for him«
»Heavens« cried Reardon »Who dont you know«
»The simplest thing in the world At present its a large part of my
business to make acquaintances Why look you a man who has to live by
miscellaneous writing couldnt get on without a vast variety of acquaintances
Ones own brain would soon run dry a clever fellow knows how to use the brains
of other people«
Amy listened with an unconscious smile which expressed keen interest
»Oh« pursued Jasper »when did you see Whelpdale last«
»Havent seen him for a long time«
»You dont know what hes doing The fellow has set up as a literary
adviser He has an advertisement in The Study every week To Young Authors and
Literary Aspirants something of the kind Advice given on choice of subjects
MSS read corrected and recommended to publishers Moderate terms A fact And
whats more he made six guineas in the first fortnight so he says at all
events Now thats one of the finest jokes I ever heard A man who cant get
anyone to publish his own books makes a living by telling other people how to
write«
»But its a confounded swindle«
»Oh I dont know Hes capable of correcting the grammar of literary
aspirants and as for recommending to publishers well anyone can recommend I
suppose«
Reardons indignation yielded to laughter
»Its not impossible that he may thrive by this kind of thing«
»Not at all« assented Jasper
Shortly after this he looked at his watch
»I must be off my friends I have something to write before I can go to my
trucklebed and itll take me three hours at least Goodbye old man Let me
know when your storys finished and well talk about it And think about Mrs
Boston Wright oh and about that review in The Current I wish youd let me do
it Talk it over with your guide philosopher and friend«
He indicated Amy who laughed in a forced way
When he was gone the two sat without speaking for several minutes
»Do you care to make friends with those girls« asked Reardon at length
»I suppose in decency I must call upon them«
»I suppose so«
»You may find them very agreeable«
»Oh yes«
They conversed with their own thoughts for a while Then Reardon burst out
laughing
»Well theres the successful man you see Some day hell live in a
mansion and dictate literary opinions to the universe«
»How has he offended you«
»Offended me Not at all I am glad of his cheerful prospects«
»Why should you refuse to go among those people It might be good for you in
several ways«
»If the chance had come when I was publishing my best work I dare say I
shouldnt have refused But I certainly shall not present myself as the author
of Margaret Home and the rubbish Im now writing«
»Then you must cease to write rubbish«
»Yes I must cease to write altogether«
»And do what«
»I wish to Heaven I knew«
Chapter 13
A Warning
In the spring list of Mr Jedwoods publications announcement was made of a new
work by Alfred Yule It was called »English Prose in the Nineteenth Century«
and consisted of a number of essays several of which had already seen the light
in periodicals strung into continuity The final chapter dealt with
contemporary writers more especially those who served to illustrate the
authors theme that journalism is the destruction of prose style on certain
popular writers of the day there was an outpouring of gall which was not likely
to be received as though it were sweet ointment The book met with rather severe
treatment in critical columns it could scarcely be ignored the safest mode of
attack when ones author has no expectant public and only the most skilful
could write of it in a hostile spirit without betraying that some of its strokes
had told An evening newspaper which piqued itself on independence indulged in
laughing appreciation of the polemical chapter and the next day printed a
scornful letter from a thinlydisguised correspondent who assailed both book and
reviewer For the moment people talked more of Alfred Yule than they had done
since his memorable conflict with Clement Fadge
The publisher had hoped for this Mr Jedwood was an energetic and sanguine
man who had entered upon his business with a determination to rival in a year
or so the houses which had slowly risen into commanding stability He had no
great capital but the stroke of fortune which had wedded him to a popular
novelist enabled him to count on steady profit from one source and boundless
faith in his own judgment urged him to an initial outlay which made the prudent
shake their heads He talked much of the new era foresaw revolutions in
publishing and bookselling planned every week a score of untried ventures which
should appeal to the democratic generation just maturing in the meantime was
ready to publish anything which seemed likely to get talked about
The May number of The Current in its article headed »Books of the Month«
devoted about half a page to »English Prose in the Nineteenth Century« This
notice was a consummate example of the flippant style of attack Flippancy the
most hopeless form of intellectual vice was a characterising note of Mr Fadges
periodical his monthly comments on publications were already looked for with
eagerness by that growing class of readers who care for nothing but what can be
made matter of ridicule The hostility of other reviewers was awkward and
ineffectual compared with this venomous banter which entertained by showing
that in the book under notice there was neither entertainment nor any other kind
of interest To assail an author without increasing the number of his readers is
the perfection of journalistic skill and The Current had it stood alone would
fully have achieved this end As it was silence might have been better tactics
But Mr Fadge knew that his enemy would smart under the poisoned pinpoints and
that was something gained
On the day that The Current appeared its treatment of Alfred Yule was
discussed in Mr Jedwoods private office Mr Quarmby who had intimate relations
with the publisher happened to look in just as a young man one of Mr Jedwoods
readers was expressing a doubt whether Fadge himself was the author of the
review
»But theres Fadges thumbmark all down the page« cried Mr Quarmby
»He inspired the thing of course but I rather think it was written by that
fellow Milvain«
»Think so« asked the publisher
»Well I know with certainty that the notice of Marklands novel is his
writing and I have reasons for suspecting that he did Yules book as well«
»Smart youngster that« remarked Mr Jedwood »Who is he bytheby«
»Somebodys illegitimate son I believe« replied the source of trustworthy
information with a laugh »Denham says he met him in New York a year or two
ago under another name«
»Excuse me« interposed Mr Quarmby »theres some mistake in all that«
He went on to state what he knew from Yule himself concerning Milvains
history Though in this instance a corrector Mr Quarmby took an opportunity a
few hours later of informing Mr Hinks that the attack on Yule in The Current
was almost certainly written by young Milvain with the result that when the
rumour reached Yules ears it was delivered as an undoubted and wellknown fact
It was a month prior to this that Milvain made his call upon Marian Yule on
the Sunday when her father was absent When told of the visit Yule assumed a
manner of indifference but his daughter understood that he was annoyed With
regard to the sisters who would shortly be living in London he merely said that
Marian must behave as discretion directed her If she wished to invite the Miss
Milvains to St Pauls Crescent he only begged that the times and seasons of the
household might not be disturbed
As her habit was Marian took refuge in silence Nothing could have been
more welcome to her than the proximity of Maud and Dora but she foresaw that
her own home would not be freely open to them perhaps it might be necessary to
behave with simple frankness and let her friends know the embarrassments of the
situation But that could not be done in the first instance; the unkindness
would seem too great A day after the arrival of the girls she received a note
from Dora and almost at once replied to it by calling at her friends lodgings
A week after that Maud and Dora came to St Pauls Crescent it was Sunday and
Mr Yule purposely kept away from home They had only been once to the house
since then again without meeting Mr Yule Marian however visited them at
their lodgings frequently now and then she met Jasper there The latter never
spoke of her father and there was no question of inviting him to repeat his
call
In the end Marian was obliged to speak on the subject with her mother Mrs
Yule offered an occasion by asking when the Miss Milvains were coming again
»I dont think I shall ever ask them again« Marian replied
Her mother understood and looked troubled
»I must tell them how it is thats all« the girl went on »They are
sensible they wont be offended with me«
»But your father has never had anything to say against them« urged Mrs
Yule »Not a word to me Marian Id tell you the truth if he had«
»Its too disagreeable all the same I cant invite them here with
pleasure Father has grown prejudiced against them all and he wont change No
I shall just tell them«
»Its very hard for you« sighed her mother »If I thought I could do any
good by speaking but I cant my dear«
»I know it mother Let us go on as we did before«
The day after this when Yule came home about the hour of dinner he called
Marians name from within the study Marian had not left the house today her
work had been set in the shape of a long task of copying from disorderly
manuscript She left the sittingroom in obedience to her fathers summons
»Heres something that will afford you amusement« he said holding to her
the new number of The Current and indicating the notice of his book
She read a few lines then threw the thing on to the table
»That kind of writing sickens me« she exclaimed with anger in her eyes
»Only base and heartless people can write in that way You surely wont let it
trouble you«
»Oh not for a moment« her father answered with exaggerated show of calm
»But I am surprised that you dont see the literary merit of the work I thought
it would distinctly appeal to you«
There was a strangeness in his voice as well as in the words which caused
her to look at him inquiringly She knew him well enough to understand that such
a notice would irritate him profoundly but why should he go out of his way to
show it her and with this peculiar acerbity of manner
»Why do you say that father«
»It doesnt occur to you who may probably have written it«
She could not miss his meaning astonishment held her mute for a moment
then she said
»Surely Mr Fadge wrote it himself«
»I am told not I am informed on very good authority that one of his young
gentlemen has the credit of it«
»You refer of course to Mr Milvain« she replied quietly »But I think
that cant be true«
He looked keenly at her He had expected a more decided protest
»I see no reason for disbelieving it«
»I see every reason until I have your evidence«
This was not at all Marians natural tone in argument with him She was wont
to be submissive
»I was told« he continued hardening face and voice »by someone who had it
from Jedwood«
Yule was conscious of untruth in this statement but his mood would not
allow him to speak ingenuously and he wished to note the effect upon Marian of
what he said There were two beliefs in him on the one hand he recognised
Fadge in every line of the writing on the other he had a perverse satisfaction
in convincing himself that it was Milvain who had caught so successfully the
masters manner He was not the kind of man who can resist an opportunity of
justifying to himself and others a course into which he has been led by
mingled feelings all more or less unjustifiable
»How should Jedwood know« asked Marian
Yule shrugged his shoulders
»As if these things didnt get about among editors and publishers«
»In this case theres a mistake«
»And why pray« His voice trembled with choler »Why need there be a
mistake«
»Because Mr Milvain is quite incapable of reviewing your book in such a
spirit«
»There is your mistake my girl Milvain will do anything thats asked of
him provided hes well enough paid«
Marian reflected When she raised her eyes again they were perfectly calm
»What has led you to think that«
»Dont I know the type of man Noscitur ex sociis have you Latin enough
for that«
»Youll find that you are misinformed« Marian replied and therewith went
from the room
She could not trust herself to converse longer A resentment such as her
father had never yet excited in her such indeed as she seldom if ever
conceived threatened to force utterance for itself in words which would change
the current of her whole life She saw her father in his worst aspect and her
heart was shaken by an unnatural revolt from him Let his assurance of what he
reported be ever so firm what right had he to make this use of it His
behaviour was spiteful Suppose he entertained suspicions which seemed to make
it his duty to warn her against Milvain this was not the way to go about it A
father actuated by simple motives of affection would never speak and look thus
It was the hateful spirit of literary rancour that ruled him the spirit
that made people eager to believe all evil that blinded and maddened Never had
she felt so strongly the unworthiness of the existence to which she was
condemned That contemptible review and now her fathers ignoble passion such
things were enough to make all literature appear a morbid excrescence upon human
life
Forgetful of the time she sat in her bedroom until a knock at the door and
her mothers voice admonished her that dinner was waiting An impulse all but
caused her to say that she would rather not go down for the meal that she
wished to be left alone But this would be weak peevishness She just looked at
the glass to see that her face bore no unwonted signs and descended to take her
place as usual
Throughout the dinner there passed no word of conversation Yule was at his
blackest he gobbled a few mouthfuls then occupied himself with the evening
paper On rising he said to Marian
»Have you copied the whole of that«
The tone would have been uncivil if addressed to an impertinent servant
»Not much more than half« was the cold reply
»Can you finish it tonight«
»Im afraid not I am going out«
»Then I must do it myself«
And he went to the study
Mrs Yule was in an anguish of nervousness
»What is it dear« she asked of Marian in a pleading whisper »Oh dont
quarrel with your father Dont«
»I cant be a slave mother and I cant be treated unjustly«
»What is it Let me go and speak to him«
»Its no use We cant live in terror«
For Mrs Yule this was unimaginable disaster She had never dreamt that
Marian the still gentle Marian could be driven to revolt And it had come
with the suddenness of a thunderclap She wished to ask what had taken place
between father and daughter in the brief interview before dinner but Marian
gave her no chance quitting the room upon those last trembling words
The girl had resolved to visit her friends the sisters and tell them that
in future they must never come to see her at home But it was no easy thing for
her to stifle her conscience and leave her father to toil over that copying
which had need of being finished Not her will but her exasperated feeling had
replied to him that she would not do the work already it astonished her that
she had really spoken such words And as the throbbing of her pulses subsided
she saw more clearly into the motives of this wretched tumult which possessed
her Her mind was harassed with a fear lest in defending Milvain she had spoken
foolishly Had he not himself said to her that he might be guilty of base
things just to make his way Perhaps it was the intolerable pain of imagining
that he had already made good his words which robbed her of selfcontrol and
made her meet her fathers rudeness with defiance
Impossible to carry out her purpose she could not deliberately leave the
house and spend some hours away with the thought of such wrath and misery left
behind her Gradually she was returning to her natural self fear and penitence
were chill at her heart
She went down to the study tapped and entered
»Father I said something that I did not really mean Of course I shall go
on with the copying and finish it as soon as possible«
»You will do nothing of the kind my girl« He was in his usual place
already working at Marians task he spoke in a low thick voice »Spend your
evening as you choose I have no need of you«
»I behaved very illtemperedly Forgive me father«
»Have the goodness to go away You hear me«
His eyes were inflamed and his discoloured teeth showed themselves
savagely Marian durst not really durst not approach him She hesitated but
once more a sense of hateful injustice moved within her and she went away as
quietly as she had entered
She said to herself that now it was her perfect right to go whither she
would But the freedom was only in theory her submissive and timid nature kept
her at home and upstairs in her own room for if she went to sit with her
mother of necessity she must talk about what had happened and that she felt
unable to do Some friend to whom she could unbosom all her sufferings would now
have been very precious to her but Maud and Dora were her only intimates and
to them she might not make the full confession which gives solace
Mrs Yule did not venture to intrude upon her daughters privacy That Marian
neither went out nor showed herself in the house proved her troubled state but
the mother had no confidence in her power to comfort At the usual time she
presented herself in the study with her husbands coffee the face which was for
an instant turned to her did not invite conversation but distress obliged her
to speak
»Why are you cross with Marian Alfred«
»You had better ask what she means by her extraordinary behaviour«
A word of harsh rebuff was the most she had expected Thus encouraged she
timidly put another question
»How has she behaved«
»I suppose you have ears«
»But wasnt there something before that You spoke so angry to her«
»Spoke so angry did I She is out I suppose«
»No she hasnt gone out«
»Thatll do Dont disturb me any longer«
She did not venture to linger
The breakfast next morning seemed likely to pass without any interchange of
words But when Yule was pushing back his chair Marian who looked pale and
ill addressed a question to him about the work she would ordinarily have
pursued today at the Readingroom He answered in a matteroffact tone and
for a few minutes they talked on the subject much as at any other time Half an
hour after Marian set forth for the Museum in the usual way Her father stayed
at home
It was the end of the episode for the present Marian felt that the best
thing would be to ignore what had happened as her father evidently purposed
doing She had asked his forgiveness and it was harsh in him to have repelled
her but by now she was able once more to take into consideration all his trials
and toils his embittered temper and the new wound he had received That he
should resume his wonted manner was sufficient evidence of regret on his part
Gladly she would have unsaid her resentful words she had been guilty of a
childish outburst of temper and perhaps had prepared worse sufferings for the
future
And yet perhaps it was as well that her father should be warned She was
not all submission he might try her beyond endurance there might come a day
when perforce she must stand face to face with him and make it known she had
her own claims upon life It was as well he should hold that possibility in
view
This evening no work was expected of her Not long after dinner she prepared
for going out to her mother she mentioned she should be back about ten oclock
»Give my regards to them dear if you like to« said Mrs Yule just above
her breath
»Certainly I will«
Chapter 14
Recruits
Marian walked to the nearest point of Camden Road and there waited for an
omnibus which conveyed her to within easy reach of the Street where Maud and
Dora Milvain had their lodgings This was at the northeast of Regents Park and
no great distance from Mornington Road where Jasper still dwelt
On learning that the young ladies were at home and alone she ascended to
the second floor and knocked
»Thats right« exclaimed Doras pleasant voice as the door opened and the
visitor showed herself And then came the friendly greeting which warmed
Marians heart the greeting which until lately no house in London could afford
her
The girls looked oddly out of place in this secondfloor sittingroom with
its vulgar furniture and paltry ornaments Maud especially so for her fine
figure was well displayed by the dress of mourning and her pale handsome face
had as little congruence as possible with a background of humble circumstances
Dora impressed one as a simpler nature but she too had distinctly the note of
refinement which was out of harmony with these surroundings They occupied only
two rooms the sleepingchamber being doublebedded they purchased food for
themselves and prepared their own meals excepting dinner During the first week
a good many tears were shed by both of them it was not easy to transfer
themselves from the comfortable country home to this bare corner of lodgers
London Maud as appeared at the first glance was less disposed than her sister
to make the best of things her countenance wore an expression rather of
discontent than of sorrow and she did not talk with the same readiness as Dora
On the round table lay a number of books when disturbed the sisters had
been engaged in studious reading
»Im not sure that I do right in coming again so soon« said Marian as she
took off her things »Your time is precious«
»So are you« replied Dora laughing »Its only under protest that we work
in the evening when we have been hard at it all day«
»We have news for you too« said Maud who sat languidly on an uneasy
chair
»Good I hope«
»Someone called to see us yesterday I dare say you can guess who it was«
»Amy perhaps«
»Yes«
»And how did you like her«
The sisters seemed to have a difficulty in answering Dora was the first to
speak
»We thought she was sadly out of spirits Indeed she told us that she hasnt
been very well lately But I think we shall like her if we come to know her
better«
»It was rather awkward Marian« the elder sister explained »We felt
obliged to say something about Mr Reardons books but we havent read any of
them yet you know so I just said that I hoped soon to read his new novel I
suppose you have seen reviews of it she asked at once Of course I ought to
have had the courage to say no but I admitted that I had seen one or two
Jasper showed us them She looked very much annoyed and after that we didnt
find much to talk about«
»The reviews are very disagreeable« said Marian with a troubled face »I
have read the book since I saw you the other day and Im afraid it isnt any
good but I have seen many worse novels more kindly reviewed«
»Jasper says its because Mr Reardon has no friends among the journalists«
»Still« replied Marian »Im afraid they couldnt have given the book much
praise if they wrote honestly Did Amy ask you to go and see her«
»Yes but she said it was uncertain how long they would be living at their
present address And really we cant feel sure whether we should be welcome or
not just now«
Marian listened with bent head She too had to make known to her friends
that they were not welcome in her own home but she knew not how to utter words
which would sound so unkind
»Your brother« she said after a pause »will soon find suitable friends for
you«
»Before long« replied Dora with a look of amusement »hes going to take
us to call on Mrs Boston Wright I hardly thought he was serious at first but
he says he really means it«
Marian grew more and more silent At home she had felt that it would not be
difficult to explain her troubles to these sympathetic girls but now the time
had come for speaking she was oppressed by shame and anxiety True there was
no absolute necessity for making the confession this evening and if she chose
to resist her fathers prejudice things might even go on in a seemingly natural
way But the loneliness of her life had developed in her a sensitiveness which
could not endure situations such as the present difficulties which are of small
account to people who take their part in active social life harassed her to the
destruction of all peace Dora was not long in noticing the dejected mood which
had come upon her friend
»Whats troubling you Marian«
»Something I can hardly bear to speak of Perhaps it will be the end of your
friendship for me and I should find it very hard to go back to my old
solitude«
The girls gazed at her in doubt at first whether she spoke seriously
»What can you mean« Dora exclaimed »What crime have you been committing«
Maud who leaned with her elbows on the table searched Marians face
curiously but said nothing
»Has Mr Milvain shown you the new number of The Current« Marian went on to
ask
They replied with a negative and Maud added
»He has nothing in it this month except a review«
»A review« repeated Marian in a low voice
»Yes of somebodys novel«
»Marklands« supplied Dora
Marian drew a breath but remained for a moment with her eyes cast down
»Do go on dear« urged Dora »What ever are you going to tell us«
»Theres a notice of fathers book« continued the other »a very
illnatured one its written by the editor Mr Fadge Father and he have been
very unfriendly for a long time Perhaps Mr Milvain has told you something about
it«
Dora replied that he had
»I dont know how it is in other professions« Marian resumed »but I hope
there is less envy hatred and malice than in this of ours The name of
literature is often made hateful to me by the things I hear and read My father
has never been very fortunate and many things have happened to make him bitter
against the men who succeed he has often quarrelled with people who were at
first his friends but never so seriously with anyone as with Mr Fadge His
feeling of enmity goes so far that it includes even those who are in any way
associated with Mr Fadge I am sorry to say« she looked with painful anxiety
from one to the other of her hearers »this has turned him against your
brother and «
Her voice was checked by agitation
»We were afraid of this« said Dora in a tone of sympathy
»Jasper feared it might be the case« added Maud more coldly though with
friendliness
»Why I speak of it at all« Marian hastened to say »is because I am so
afraid it should make a difference between yourselves and me«
»Oh dont think that« Dora exclaimed
»I am so ashamed« Marian went on in an uncertain tone »but I think it will
be better if I dont ask you to come and see me It sounds ridiculous it is
ridiculous and shameful I couldnt complain if you refused to have anything
more to do with me«
»Dont let it trouble you« urged Maud with perhaps a trifle more of
magnanimity in her voice than was needful »We quite understand Indeed it
shant make any difference to us«
But Marian had averted her face and could not meet these assurances with
any show of pleasure Now that the step was taken she felt that her behaviour
had been very weak Unreasonable harshness such as her fathers ought to have
been met more steadily she had no right to make it an excuse for such
incivility to her friends Yet only in some such way as this could she make
known to Jasper Milvain how her father regarded him which she felt it necessary
to do Now his sisters would tell him and henceforth there would be a clear
understanding on both sides That state of things was painful to her but it was
better than ambiguous relations
»Jasper is very sorry about it« said Dora glancing rapidly at Marian
»But his connection with Mr Fadge came about in such a natural way« added
the eldest sister »And it was impossible for him to refuse opportunities«
»Impossible I know« Marian replied earnestly »Dont think that I wish to
justify my father But I can understand him and it must be very difficult for
you to do so You cant know as I do how intensely he has suffered in these
wretched ignoble quarrels If only you will let me come here still in the same
way and still be as friendly to me My home has never been a place to which I
could have invited friends with any comfort even if I had had any to invite
There were always reasons but I cant speak of them«
»My dear Marian« appealed Dora »dont distress yourself so Do believe
that nothing whatever has happened to change our feeling to you Has there
Maud«
»Nothing whatever We are not unreasonable girls Marian«
»I am more grateful to you than I can say«
It had seemed as if Marian must give way to the emotions which all but
choked her voice she overcame them however and presently was able to talk in
pretty much her usual way though when she smiled it was but faintly Maud tried
to lead her thoughts in another direction by speaking of work in which she and
Dora were engaged Already the sisters were doing a new piece of compilation for
Messrs Jolly and Monk it was more exacting than their initial task for the
bookmarket and would take a much longer time
A couple of hours went by and Marian had just spoken of taking her leave
when a mans step was heard rapidly ascending the nearest flight of stairs
»Heres Jasper« remarked Dora and in a moment there sounded a short sharp
summons at the door
Jasper it was he came in with radiant face his eyes blinking before the
lamplight
»Well girls Ha how do you do Miss Yule I had just the vaguest sort of
expectation that you might be here It seemed a likely night I dont know why
I say Dora we really must get two or three decent easychairs for your room
Ive seen some outside a secondhand furniture shop in Hampstead Road about six
shillings apiece Theres no sitting on chairs such as these«
That on which he tried to dispose himself when he had flung aside his
trappings creaked and shivered ominously
»You hear I shall come plump on to the floor if I dont mind My word
what a day I have had Ive just been trying what I really could do in one day
if I worked my hardest Now just listen it deserves to be chronicled for the
encouragement of aspiring youth I got up at 730 and whilst I breakfasted I
read through a volume I had to review By 1030 the review was written
threequarters of a column of the Evening Budget«
»Who is the unfortunate author« interrupted Maud caustically
»Not unfortunate at all I had to crack him up otherwise I couldnt have
done the job so quickly Its the easiest thing in the world to write laudation
only an inexperienced grumbler would declare it was easier to find fault The
book was Billingtons Vagaries pompous idiocy of course but he lives in a big
house and gives dinners Well from 1030 to 11 I smoked a cigar and reflected
feeling that the day wasnt badly begun At eleven I was ready to write my
Saturday causerie for the Will o the Wisp it took me till close upon one
oclock which was rather too long I cant afford more than an hour and a half
for that job At one I rushed out to a dirty little eatinghouse in Hampstead
Road Was back again by a quarter to two having in the meantime sketched a
paper for The West End Pipe in mouth I sat down to leisurely artistic work by
five half the paper was done the other half remains for tomorrow From five
to halfpast I read four newspapers and two magazines and from halfpast to a
quarter to six I jotted down several ideas that had come to me whilst reading
At six I was again in the dirty eatinghouse satisfying a ferocious hunger
Home once more at 645 and for two hours wrote steadily at a long affair I have
in hand for The Current Then I came here thinking hard all the way What say
you to this Have I earned a nights repose«
»And whats the value of it all« asked Maud
»Probably from ten to twelve guineas if I calculated«
»I meant what was the literary value of it« said his sister with a smile
»Equal to that of the contents of a mouldy nut«
»Pretty much what I thought«
»Oh but it answers the purpose« urged Dora »and it does no one any harm«
»Honest journeywork« cried Jasper »There are few men in London capable of
such a feat Many a fellow could write more in quantity but they couldnt
command my market Its rubbish but rubbish of a very special kind of fine
quality«
Marian had not yet spoken save a word or two in reply to Jaspers greeting
now and then she just glanced at him but for the most part her eyes were cast
down Now Jasper addressed her
»A year ago Miss Yule I shouldnt have believed myself capable of such
activity In fact I wasnt capable of it then«
»You think such work wont be too great a strain upon you« she asked
»Oh this isnt a specimen day you know Tomorrow I shall very likely do
nothing but finish my West End article in an easy two or three hours Theres
no knowing I might perhaps keep up the high pressure if I tried But then I
couldnt dispose of all the work Little by little or perhaps rather quicker
than that I shall extend my scope For instance I should like to do two or
three leaders a week for one of the big dailies I cant attain unto that just
yet«
»Not political leaders«
»By no means Thats not my line The kind of thing in which one makes a
column out of what would fill six lines of respectable prose You call a cigar a
convoluted weed and so on you know that passes for facetiousness Ive never
really tried my hand at that style yet I shouldnt wonder if I managed it
brilliantly Some day Ill write a few exercises just take two lines of some
good prosewriter and expand them into twenty in half a dozen different ways
Excellent mental gymnastics«
Marian listened to his flow of talk for a few minutes longer then took the
opportunity of a brief silence to rise and put on her hat Jasper observed her
but without rising he looked at his sisters in a hesitating way At length he
stood up and declared that he too must be off This coincidence had happened
once before when he met Marian here in the evening
»At all events you wont do any more work to said Dora
»No I shall read a page of something or other over a glass of whisky and
seek the sleep of a man who has done his duty«
»Why the whisky« asked Maud
»Do you grudge me such poor solace«
»I dont see the need of it«
»Nonsense Maud« exclaimed her sister »He needs a little stimulant when he
works so hard«
Each of the girls gave Marians hand a significant pressure as she took
leave of them and begged her to come again as soon as she had a free evening
There was gratitude in her eyes
The evening was clear and not very cold
»Its rather late for you to go home« said Jasper as they left the house
»May I walk part of the way with you«
Marian replied with a low »Thank you«
»I think you get on pretty well with the girls dont you«
»I hope they are as glad of my friendship as I am of theirs«
»Pity to see them in a place like that isnt it They ought to have a good
house with plenty of servants Its bad enough for a civilised man to have to
rough it but I hate to see women living in a sordid way Dont you think they
could both play their part in a drawing with a little experience«
»Surely theres no doubt of it«
»Maud would look really superb if she were handsomely dressed She hasnt a
common face by any means And Dora is pretty I think Well they shall go and
see some people before long The difficulty is one doesnt like it to be known
that they live in such a crib but I darent advise them to go in for expense
One cant be sure that it would repay them though Now in my own case if I
could get hold of a few thousand pounds I should know how to use it with the
certainty of return it would save me probably a clear ten years of life I
mean I should go at a jump to what I shall be ten years hence without the help
of money But they have such a miserable little bit of capital and everything
is still so uncertain One darent speculate under the circumstances«
Marian made no reply
»You think I talk of nothing but money« Jasper said suddenly looking down
into her face
»I know too well what it means to be without money«
»Yes but you do just a little despise me«
»Indeed I dont Mr Milvain«
»If that is sincere Im very glad I take it in a friendly sense I am
rather despicable you know its part of my business to be so But a friend
neednt regard that There is the man apart from his necessities«
The silence was then unbroken till they came to the lower end of Park
Street the junction of roads which lead to Hampstead to Highgate and to
Holloway
»Shall you take an omnibus« Jasper asked
She hesitated
»Or will you give me the pleasure of walking on with you You are tired
perhaps«
»Not the least«
For the rest of her answer she moved forward and they crossed into the
obscurity of Camden Road
»Shall I be doing wrong Mr Milvain« Marian began in a very low voice »if
I ask you about the authorship of something in this months Current«
»Im afraid I know what you refer to Theres no reason why I shouldnt
answer a question of the kind«
»It was Mr Fadge himself who reviewed my fathers book«
»It was confound him I dont know another man who could have done the
thing so vilely well«
»I suppose he was only replying to my fathers attack upon him and his
friends«
»Your fathers attack is honest and straightforward and justifiable and well
put I read that chapter of his book with huge satisfaction But has anyone
suggested that another than Fadge was capable of that masterpiece«
»Yes I am told that Mr Jedwood the publisher has somehow made a mistake«
»Jedwood And what mistake«
»Father heard that you were the writer«
»I« Jasper stopped short They were in the rays of a streetlamp and could
see each others faces »And he believes that«
»Im afraid so«
»And you believe believed it«
»Not for a moment«
»I shall write a note to Mr Yule«
Marian was silent a while then said
»Wouldnt it be better if you found a way of letting Mr Jedwood know the
truth«
»Perhaps you are right«
Jasper was very grateful for the suggestion In that moment he had reflected
how rash it would be to write to Alfred Yule on such a subject with whatever
prudence in expressing himself Such a letter coming under the notice of the
great Fadge might do its writer serious harm
»Yes you are right« he repeated »Ill stop that rumour at its source I
cant guess how it started for aught I know some enemy hath done this though
I dont quite discern the motive Thank you very much for telling me and still
more for refusing to believe that I could treat Mr Yule in that way even as a
matter of business When I said that I was despicable I didnt mean that I
could sink quite to such a point as that If only because it was your father «
He checked himself and they walked on for several yards without speaking
»In that case« Jasper resumed at length »your father doesnt think of me
in a very friendly way«
»He scarcely could «
»No no And I quite understand that the mere fact of my working for Fadge
would prejudice him against me But thats no reason I hope why you and I
shouldnt be friends«
»I hope not«
»I dont know that my friendship is worth much« Jasper continued talking
into the upper air a habit of his when he discussed his own character »I shall
go on as I have begun and fight for some of the good things of life But your
friendship is valuable If I am sure of it I shall be at all events within
sight of the better ideals«
Marian walked on with her eyes upon the ground To her surprise she
discovered presently that they had all but reached St Pauls Crescent
»Thank you for having come so far« she said pausing
»Ah you are nearly home Why it seems only a few minutes since we left the
girls Now Ill run back to the whisky of which Maud disapproves«
»May it do you good« said Marian with a laugh
A speech of this kind seemed unusual upon her lips Jasper smiled as he held
her hand and regarded her
»Then you can speak in a joking way«
»Do I seem so very dull«
»Dull by no means But sage and sober and reticent and exactly what I
like in my friend because it contrasts with my own habits All the better that
merriment lies below it Goodnight Miss Yule«
He strode off and in a minute or two turned his head to look at the slight
figure passing into darkness
Marians hand trembled as she tried to insert her latchkey When she had
closed the door very quietly behind her she went to the sittingroom Mrs Yule
was just laying aside the sewing on which she had occupied herself throughout
the lonely evening
»Im rather late« said the girl in a voice of subdued joyousness
»Yes I was getting a little uneasy dear«
»Oh theres no danger«
»You have been enjoying yourself I can see«
»I have had a pleasant evening«
In the retrospect it seemed the pleasantest she had yet spent with her
friends though she had set out in such a different mood Her mind was relieved
of two anxieties she felt sure that the girls had not taken ill what she told
them and there was no longer the least doubt concerning the authorship of that
review in The Current
She could confess to herself now that the assurance from Jaspers lips was
not superfluous He might have weighed profit against other considerations and
have written in that way of her father she had not felt that absolute
confidence which defies every argument from human frailty And now she asked
herself if faith of that unassailable kind is ever possible is it not only the
poets dream the far ideal
Marian often went thus far in her speculation Her candour was allied with
clear insight into the possibilities of falsehood she was not readily the
victim of illusion thinking much and speaking little she had not come to her
twentythird year without perceiving what a distance lay between a girls dream
of life as it might be and life as it is Had she invariably disclosed her
thoughts she would have earned the repute of a very sceptical and slightly
cynical person
But with what rapturous tumult of the heart she could abandon herself to a
belief in human virtues when their suggestion seemed to promise her a future of
happiness
Alone in her room she sat down only to think of Jasper Milvain and extract
from the memory of his words his looks new sustenance for her hungry heart
Jasper was the first man who had ever evinced a mans interest in her Until she
met him she had not known a look of compliment or a word addressed to her
emotions He was as far as possible from representing the lover of her
imagination but from the day of that long talk in the fields near Wattleborough
the thought of him had supplanted dreams On that day she said to herself I
could love him if he cared to seek my love Premature perhaps why yes but one
who is starving is not wont to feel reluctance at the suggestion of food The
first man who had approached her with display of feeling and energy and youthful
selfconfidence handsome too it seemed to her Her womanhood went eagerly to
meet him
Since then she had made careful study of his faults Each conversation had
revealed to her new weakness and follies With the result that her love had
grown to a reality
He was so human and a youth of all but monastic seclusion had prepared her
to love the man who aimed with frank energy at the joys of life A taint of
pedantry would have repelled her She did not ask for high intellect or great
attainments but vivacity courage determination to succeed were delightful to
her senses Her ideal would not have been a literary man at all certainly not a
man likely to be prominent in journalism rather a man of action one who had no
restraints of commerce or official routine But in Jasper she saw the qualities
that attracted her apart from the accidents of his position Ideal personages do
not descend to girls who have to labour at the British Museum it seemed a
marvel to her and of good augury that even such a man as Jasper should have
crossed her path
It was as though years had passed since their first meeting Upon her return
to London had followed such long periods of hopelessness Yet whenever they
encountered each other he had look and speech for her with which surely he did
not greet every woman From the first his way of regarding her had shown frank
interest And at length had come the confession of his respect his desire to be
something more to her than a mere acquaintance It was scarcely possible that he
should speak as he several times had of late if he did not wish to draw her
towards him
That was the hopeful side of her thoughts It was easy to forget for a time
those words of his which one might think were spoken as distinct warning but
they crept into the memory unwelcome importunate as soon as imagination had
built its palace of joy Why did he always recur to the subject of money »I
shall allow nothing to come in my way« he once said that as if meaning
»certainly not a love affair with a girl who is penniless« He emphasised the
word friend as if to explain that he offered and asked nothing more than
friendship
But it only meant that he would not be in haste to declare himself Of a
certainty there was conflict between his ambition and his love but she
recognised her power over him and exulted in it She had observed his hesitancy
this evening before he rose to accompany her from the house her heart laughed
within her as the desire drew him And henceforth such meetings would be
frequent with each one her influence would increase How kindly fate had dealt
with her in bringing Maud and Dora to London
It was within his reach to marry a woman who would bring him wealth He had
that in mind she understood it too well But not one moments advantage would
she relinquish He must choose her in her poverty and be content with what his
talents could earn for him Her love gave her the right to demand this
sacrifice let him ask for her love and the sacrifice would no longer seem one
so passionately would she reward him
He would ask it Tonight she was full of a rich confidence partly no
doubt the result of reaction from her miseries He had said at parting that her
character was so well suited to his that he liked her And then he had pressed
her hand so warmly Before long he would ask her love
The unhoped was all but granted her She could labour on in the valley of
the shadow of books for a ray of dazzling sunshine might at any moment strike
into its musty gloom
Chapter 15
The Last Resource
The past twelve months had added several years to Edwin Reardons seeming age
at thirtythree he would generally have been taken for forty His bearing his
personal habits were no longer those of a young man he walked with a stoop and
pressed noticeably on the stick he carried it was rare for him to show the
countenance which tells of present cheerfulness or glad onwardlooking there
was no spring in his step his voice had fallen to a lower key and often he
spoke with that hesitation in choice of words which may be noticed in persons
whom defeat has made selfdistrustful Ceaseless perplexity and dread gave a
wandering sometimes a wild expression to his eyes
He seldom slept in the proper sense of the word as a rule he was
conscious all through the night of a kind of fighting between physical weariness
and wakeful toil of the mind. It often happened that some wholly imaginary
obstacle in the story he was writing kept him under a sense of effort throughout
the dark hours now and again he woke reasoned with himself and remembered
clearly that the torment was without cause but the short relief thus afforded
soon passed in the recollection of real distress In his unsoothing slumber he
talked aloud frequently wakening Amy generally he seemed to be holding a
dialogue with someone who had imposed an intolerable task upon him he protested
passionately appealed argued in the strangest way about the injustice of what
was demanded Once Amy heard him begging for money positively begging like
some poor wretch in the street it was horrible and made her shed tears when
he asked what he had been saying she could not bring herself to tell him
When the striking clocks summoned him remorselessly to rise and work he
often reeled with dizziness It seemed to him that the greatest happiness
attainable would be to creep into some dark warm corner out of sight and
memory of men and lie there torpid with a blessed halfconsciousness that
death was slowly overcoming him Of all the sufferings collected into each
fourandtwenty hours this of rising to a new day was the worst
The onevolume story which he had calculated would take him four or five
weeks was with difficulty finished in two months March winds made an invalid of
him at one time he was threatened with bronchitis and for several days had to
abandon even the effort to work In previous winters he had been wont to undergo
a good deal of martyrdom from the London climate but never in such a degree as
now mental illness seemed to have enfeebled his body
It was strange that he succeeded in doing work of any kind for he had no
hope from the result This one last effort he would make just to complete the
undeniableness of his failure and then literature should be thrown behind him
what other pursuit was possible to him he knew not but perhaps he might
discover some mode of earning a livelihood Had it been a question of gaining a
pound a week as in the old days he might have hoped to obtain some clerkship
like that at the hospital where no commercial experience or aptitude was
demanded but in his present position such an income would be useless Could he
take Amy and the child to live in a garret On less than a hundred a year it was
scarcely possible to maintain outward decency Already his own clothing began to
declare him povertystricken and but for gifts from her mother Amy would have
reached the like pass They lived in dread of the pettiest casual expense for
the day of pennilessness was again approaching
Amy was oftener from home than had been her custom Occasionally she went
away soon after breakfast and spent the whole day at her mothers house »It
saves food« she said with a bitter laugh when Reardon once expressed surprise
that she should be going again so soon
»And gives you an opportunity of bewailing your hard fate« he returned
coldly
The reproach was ignoble and he could not be surprised that Amy left the
house without another word to him Yet he resented that as he had resented her
sorrowful jest The feeling of unmanliness in his own position tortured him into
a mood of perversity Through the day he wrote only a few lines and on Amys
return he resolved not to speak to her There was a sense of repose in this
change of attitude he encouraged himself in the view that Amy was treating him
with cruel neglect She surprised that her friendly questions elicited no
answer looked into his face and saw a sullen anger of which hitherto Reardon
had never seemed capable Her indignation took fire and she left him to
himself
For a day or two he persevered in his muteness uttering a word only when it
could not be avoided Amy was at first so resentful that she contemplated
leaving him to his illtemper and dwelling at her mothers house until he chose
to recall her But his face grew so haggard in fixed misery that compassion at
length prevailed over her injured pride Late in the evening she went to the
study and found him sitting unoccupied
»Edwin «
»What do you want« he asked indifferently
»Why are you behaving to me like this«
»Surely it makes no difference to you how I behave You can easily forget
that I exist and live your own life«
»What have I done to make this change in you«
»Is it a change«
»You know it is«
»How did I behave before« he asked glancing at her
»Like yourself kindly and gently«
»If I always did so in spite of things that might have embittered another
mans temper I think it deserved some return of kindness from you«
»What things do you mean«
»Circumstances for which neither of us is to blame«
»I am not conscious of having failed in kindness« said Amy distantly
»Then that only shows that you have forgotten your old self and utterly
changed in your feeling to me When we first came to live here could you have
imagined yourself leaving me alone for long miserable days just because I was
suffering under misfortunes You have shown too plainly that you dont care to
give me the help even of a kind word You get away from me as often as you can
as if to remind me that we have no longer any interests in common Other people
are your confidants you speak of me to them as if I were purposely dragging you
down into a mean condition«
»How can you know what I say about you«
»Isnt it true« he asked flashing an angry glance at her
»It is not true Of course I have talked to mother about our difficulties
how could I help it«
»And to other people«
»Not in a way that you could find fault with«
»In a way that makes me seem contemptible to them You show them that I have
made you poor and unhappy and you are glad to have their sympathy«
»What you mean is that I oughtnt to see anyone Theres no other way of
avoiding such a reproach as this So long as I dont laugh and sing before
people and assure them that things couldnt be more hopeful I shall be asking
for their sympathy and against you I cant understand your unreasonableness«
»Im afraid there is very little in me that you can understand So long as
my prospects seemed bright you could sympathise readily enough as soon as ever
they darkened something came between us Amy you havent done your duty Your
love hasnt stood the test as it should have done You have given me no help
besides the burden of cheerless work I have had to bear that of your growing
coldness I cant remember one instance when you have spoken to me as a wife
might a wife who was something more than a mans housekeeper«
The passion in his voice and the harshness of the accusation made her unable
to reply
»You said rightly« he went on »that I have always been kind and gentle I
never thought I could speak to you or feel to you in any other way But I have
undergone too much and you have deserted me Surely it was too soon to do that
So long as I endeavoured my utmost and loved you the same as ever you might
have remembered all you once said to me You might have given me help but you
havent cared to«
The impulses which had part in this outbreak were numerous and complex He
felt all that he expressed but at the same time it seemed to him that he had
the choice between two ways of uttering his emotion the tenderly appealing and
the sternly reproachful he took the latter course because it was less natural
to him than the former His desire was to impress Amy with the bitter intensity
of his sufferings pathos and loving words seemed to have lost their power upon
her but perhaps if he yielded to that other form of passion she would be shaken
out of her coldness The stress of injured love is always tempted to speech
which seems its contradiction Reardon had the strangest mixture of pain and
pleasure in flinging out these first words of wrath that he had ever addressed
to Amy they consoled him under the humiliating sense of his weakness and yet
he watched with dread his wifes countenance as she listened to him He hoped to
cause her pain equal to his own for then it would be in his power at once to
throw off this disguise and soothe her with every softest word his heart could
suggest That she had really ceased to love him he could not durst not
believe but his nature demanded frequent assurance of affection Amy had
abandoned too soon the caresses of their ardent time she was absorbed in her
maternity and thought it enough to be her husbands friend Ashamed to make
appeal directly for the tenderness she no longer offered he accused her of
utter indifference of abandoning him and all but betraying him that in
selfdefence she might show what really was in her heart
But Amy made no movement towards him
»How can you say that I have deserted you« she returned with cold
indignation »When did I refuse to share your poverty When did I grumble at
what we have had to go through«
»Ever since the troubles really began you have let me know what your
thoughts were even if you didnt speak them You have never shared my lot
willingly I cant recall one word of encouragement from you but many many
which made the struggle harder for me«
»Then it would be better for you if I went away altogether and left you
free to do the best for yourself If that is what you mean by all this why not
say it plainly I wont be a burden to you Someone will give me a home«
»And you would leave me without regret Your only care would be that you
were still bound to me«
»You must think of me what you like I dont care to defend myself«
»You wont admit then that I have anything to complain of I seem to you
simply in a bad temper without a cause«
»To tell you the truth thats just what I do think I came here to ask what
I had done that you were angry with me and you break out furiously with all
sorts of vague reproaches You have much to endure I know that but its no
reason why you should turn against me I have never neglected my duty Is the
duty all on my side I believe there are very few wives who would be as patient
as I have been«
Reardon gazed at her for a moment then turned away The distance between
them was greater than he had thought and now he repented of having given way to
an impulse so alien to his true feelings anger only estranged her whereas by
speech of a different kind he might have won the caress for which he hungered
Amy seeing that he would say nothing more left him to himself
It grew late in the night The fire had gone out but Reardon still sat in
the cold room Thoughts of selfdestruction were again haunting him as they had
done during the black months of last year If he had lost Amys love and all
through the mental impotence which would make it hard for him even to earn
bread why should he still live Affection for his child had no weight with him
it was Amys child rather than his and he had more fear than pleasure in the
prospect of Willies growing to manhood
He had just heard the workhouse clock strike two when without the warning
of a footstep the door opened Amy came in she wore her dressinggown and her
hair was arranged for the night
»Why do you stay here« she asked
It was not the same voice as before He saw that her eyes were red and
swollen
»Have you been crying Amy«
»Never mind Do you know what time it is«
He went towards her
»Why have you been crying«
»There are many things to cry for«
»Amy have you any love for me still or has poverty robbed me of it all«
»I have never said that I didnt love you Why do you accuse me of such
things«
He took her in his arms and held her passionately and kissed her face again
and again Amys tears broke forth anew
»Why should we come to such utter ruin« she sobbed »Oh try try if you
cant save us even yet You know without my saying it that I do love you its
dreadful to me to think all our happy life should be at an end when we thought
of such a future together Is it impossible Cant you work as you used to and
succeed as we felt confident you would Dont despair yet Edwin do do try
whilst theres still time«
»Darling darling if only I could«
»I have thought of something dearest Do as you proposed last year find a
tenant for the flat whilst we still have a little money and then go away into
some quiet country place where you can get back your health and live for very
little and write another book a good book thatll bring you reputation
again I and Willie can go and live at mothers for the summer months Do this
It would cost you so little living alone wouldnt it You would know that I
was well cared for mother would be willing to have me for a few months and
its easy to explain that your health has failed that youre obliged to go away
for a time«
»But why shouldnt you go with me if we are to let this place«
»We shouldnt have enough money I want to free your mind from the burden
whilst you are writing And what is before us if we go on in this way You dont
think you will get much for what youre writing now do you«
Reardon shook his head
»Then how can we live even to the end of the year Something must be done
you know If we go into poor lodgings what hope is there that youll be able to
write anything good«
»But Amy I have no faith in my power of «
»Oh it would be different A few days a week or a fortnight of real
holiday in this spring weather Go to some seaside place How is it possible
that all your talents should have left you Its only that you have been so
anxious and in such poor health You say I dont love you but I have thought
and thought what would be best for you to do how you could save yourself How
can you sink down to the position of a poor clerk in some office That cant be
your fate Edwin its incredible Oh after such bright hopes make one more
effort Have you forgotten that we were to go to the South together you were
to take me to Italy and Greece How can that ever be if you fail utterly in
literature How can you ever hope to earn more than bare sustenance at any other
kind of work«
He all but lost consciousness of her words in gazing at the face she held up
to his
»You love me Say again that you love me«
»Dear I love you with all my heart But I am so afraid of the future I
cant bear poverty I have found that I cant bear it And I dread to think of
your becoming only an ordinary man «
Reardon laughed
»But I am not only an ordinary man Amy If I never write another line that
wont undo what I have done Its little enough to be sure but you know what I
am Do you only love the author in me Dont you think of me apart from all that
I may do or not do If I had to earn my living as a clerk would that make me a
clerk in soul«
»You shall not fall to that It would be too bitter a shame to lose all you
have gained in these long years of work Let me plan for you do as I wish You
are to be what we hoped from the first Take all the summer months How long
will it be before you can finish this short book«
»A week or two«
»Then finish it and see what you can get for it And try at once to find a
tenant to take this place off our hands that would be twentyfive pounds saved
for the rest of the year You could live on so little by yourself couldnt
you«
»Oh on ten shillings a week if need be«
»But not to starve yourself you know Dont you feel that my plan is a good
one When I came to you tonight I meant to speak of this but you were so cruel
«
»Forgive me dearest love I was half a madman You have been so cold to me
for a long time«
»I have been distracted It was as if we were drawing nearer and nearer to
the edge of a cataract«
»Have you spoken to your mother about this« he asked uneasily
»No not exactly this But I know she will help us in this way«
He had seated himself and was holding her in his arms his face laid
against hers
»I shall dread to part from you Amy Thats such a dangerous thing to do
It may mean that we are never to live as husband and wife again«
»But how could it Its just to prevent that danger If we go on here till
we have no money whats before us then Wretched lodgings at the best And I
am afraid to think of that I cant trust myself if that should come to pass«
»What do you mean« he asked anxiously
»I hate poverty so It brings out all the worst things in me you know I
have told you that before Edwin«
»But you would never forget that you are my wife«
»I hope not But I cant think of it I cant face it That would be the
very worst that can befall us and we are going to try our utmost to escape from
it Was there ever a man who did as much as you have done in literature and then
sank into hopeless poverty«
»Oh many«
»But at your age I mean Surely not at your age«
»Im afraid there have been such poor fellows Think how often one hears of
hopeful beginnings new reputations and then you hear no more Of course it
generally means that the man has gone into a different career but sometimes
sometimes «
»What«
»The abyss« He pointed downward »Penury and despair and a miserable
death«
»Oh but those men havent a wife and child They would struggle «
»Darling they do struggle But its as if an ever increasing weight were
round their necks it drags them lower and lower The world has no pity on a man
who cant do or produce something it thinks worth money You may be a divine
poet and if some good fellow doesnt take pity on you you will starve by the
roadside Society is as blind and brutal as fate I have no right to complain of
my own illfortune its my own fault in a sense that I cant continue as well
as I began if I could write books as good as the early ones I should earn
money For all that its hard that I must be kicked aside as worthless just
because I dont know a trade«
»It shant be I have only to look into your face to know that you will
succeed after all Yours is the kind of face that people come to know in
portraits«
He kissed her hair and her eyes and her mouth
»How well I remember your saying that before Why have you grown so good to
me all at once my Amy Hearing you speak like that I feel theres nothing
beyond my reach But I dread to go away from you If I find that it is hopeless
if I am alone somewhere and know that the effort is all vain «
»Then«
»Well I can leave you free If I cant support you it will be only just
that I should give you back your freedom«
»I dont understand «
She raised herself and looked into his eyes
»We wont talk of that If you bid me go on with the struggle I shall do
so«
Amy had hidden her face and lay silently in his arms for a minute or two
Then she murmured
»It is so cold here and so late Come«
»So early There goes three oclock«
The next day they talked much of this new project As there was sunshine Amy
accompanied her husband for his walk in the afternoon it was long since they
had been out together An open carriage that passed followed by two young girls
on horseback gave a familiar direction to Reardons thoughts
»If one were as rich as those people They pass so close to us they see us
and we see them but the distance between is infinity They dont belong to the
same world as we poor wretches They see everything in a different light they
have powers which would seem supernatural if we were suddenly endowed with
them«
»Of course« assented his companion with a sigh
»Just fancy if one got up in the morning with the thought that no
reasonable desire that occurred to one throughout the day need remain
ungratified And that it would be the same any day and every day to the end of
ones life Look at those houses every detail within and without luxurious
To have such a home as that«
»And they are empty creatures who live there«
»They do live Amy at all events Whatever may be their faculties they all
have free scope I have often stood staring at houses like these until I
couldnt believe that the people owning them were mere human beings like myself
The power of money is so hard to realise one who has never had it marvels at
the completeness with which it transforms every detail of life Compare what we
call our home with that of rich people it moves one to scornful laughter I
have no sympathy with the stoical point of view between wealth and poverty is
just the difference between the whole man and the maimed If my lower limbs are
paralysed I may still be able to think but then there is such a thing in life
as walking As a poor devil I may live nobly but one happens to be made with
faculties of enjoyment and those have to fall into atrophy To be sure most
rich people dont understand their happiness if they did they would move and
talk like gods which indeed they are«
Amys brow was shadowed A wise man in Reardons position would not have
chosen this subject to dilate upon
»The difference« he went on »between the man with money and the man
without is simply this the one thinks How shall I use my life and the other
How shall I keep myself alive A physiologist ought to be able to discover some
curious distinction between the brain of a person who has never given a thought
to the means of subsistence and that of one who has never known a day free from
such cares There must be some special cerebral development representing the
mental anguish kept up by poverty«
»I should say« put in Amy »that it affects every function of the brain It
isnt a special point of suffering but a misery that colours every thought«
»True Can I think of a single subject in all the sphere of my experience
without the consciousness that I see it through the medium of poverty I have no
enjoyment which isnt tainted by that thought and I can suffer no pain which it
doesnt increase The curse of poverty is to the modern world just what that of
slavery was to the ancient Rich and destitute stand to each other as free man
and bond You remember the line of Homer I have often quoted about the
demoralising effect of enslavement poverty degrades in the same way«
»It has had its effect upon me I know that too well« said Amy with
bitter frankness
Reardon glanced at her and wished to make some reply but he could not say
what was in his thoughts
He worked on at his story Before he had reached the end of it »Margaret
Home« was published and one day arrived a parcel containing the six copies to
which an author is traditionally entitled Reardon was not so old in authorship
that he could open the packet without a slight flutter of his pulse The book
was tastefully got up Amy exclaimed with pleasure as she caught sight of the
cover and lettering
»It may succeed Edwin It doesnt look like a book that fails does it«
She laughed at her own childishness But Reardon had opened one of the
volumes and was glancing over the beginning of a chapter
»Good God« he cried »What hellish torment it was to write that page I did
it one morning when the fog was so thick that I had to light the lamp It brings
cold sweat to my forehead to read the words And to think that people will skim
over it without a suspicion of what it cost the writer What execrable style
A potboy could write better narrative«
»Who are to have copies«
»No one if I could help it But I suppose your mother will expect one«
»And Milvain«
»I suppose so« he replied indifferently »But not unless he asks for it
Poor old Biffen of course though itll make him despise me Then one for
ourselves That leaves two to light the fire with We have been rather short
of firepaper since we couldnt afford our daily newspaper«
»Will you let me give one to Mrs Carter«
»As you please«
He took one set and added it to the row of his productions which stood on a
topmost shelf Amy laid her hand upon his shoulder and contemplated the effect
of this addition
»The works of Edwin Reardon« she said with a smile
»The work at all events rather a different thing unfortunately Amy if
only I were back at the time when I wrote On Neutral Ground and yet had you
with me How full my mind was in those days Then I had only to look and I saw
something now I strain my eyes but can make out nothing more than nebulous
grotesques I used to sit down knowing so well what I had to say now I strive
to invent and never come at anything Suppose you pick up a needle with warm
supple fingers try to do it when your hand is stiff and numb with cold theres
the difference between my manner of work in those days and what it is now«
»But you are going to get back your health You will write better than
ever«
»We shall see Of course there was a great deal of miserable struggle even
then but I remember it as insignificant compared with the hours of contented
work I seldom did anything in the mornings except think and prepare towards
evening I felt myself getting ready and at last I sat down with the first lines
buzzing in my head And I used to read a great deal at the same time Whilst I
was writing On Neutral Ground I went solidly through the Divina Commedia a
canto each day Very often I wrote till after midnight but occasionally I got
my quantum finished much earlier and then I used to treat myself to a ramble
about the streets I can recall exactly the places where some of my best ideas
came to me You remember the scene in Prendergasts lodgings That flashed on me
late one night as I was turning out of Leicester Square into the slum that leads
to Clare Market ah how well I remember And I went home to my garret in a
state of delightful fever and scribbled notes furiously before going to bed«
»Dont trouble itll all come back to you«
»But in those days I hadnt to think of money I could look forward and see
provision for my needs I never asked myself what I should get for the book I
assure you that never came into my head never The work was done for its own
sake No hurry to finish it if I felt that I wasnt up to the mark I just
waited till the better mood returned On Neutral Ground took me seven months
now I have to write three volumes in nine weeks with the lash stinging on my
back if I miss a day«
He brooded for a little
»I suppose there must be some rich man somewhere who has read one or two of
my books with a certain interest If only I could encounter him and tell him
plainly what a cursed state I am in perhaps he would help me to some means of
earning a couple of pounds a week One has heard of such things«
»In the old days«
»Yes I doubt if it ever happens now Coleridge wouldnt so easily meet with
his Gillman nowadays Well I am not a Coleridge and I dont ask to be lodged
under any mans roof but if I could earn money enough to leave me good long
evenings unspoilt by fear of the workhouse «
Amy turned away and presently went to look after her little boy
A few days after this they had a visit from Milvain He came about ten
oclock in the evening
»Im not going to stay« he announced »But wheres my copy of Margaret
Home I am to have one I suppose«
»I have no particular desire that you should read it« returned Reardon
»But I have read it my dear fellow Got it from the library on the day of
publication I had a suspicion that you wouldnt send me a copy But I must
possess your opera omnia«
»Here it is Hide it away somewhere You may as well sit down for a few
minutes«
»I confess I should like to talk about the book if you dont mind It isnt
so utterly and damnably bad as you make out you know The misfortune was that
you had to make three volumes of it If I had leave to cut it down to one it
would do you credit The motive is good enough«
»Yes Just good enough to show how badly its managed«
Milvain began to expatiate on that wellworn topic the evils of the
threevolume system
»A tripleheaded monster sucking the blood of English novelist One might
design an allegorical cartoon for a comic literary paper Bytheby why doesnt
such a thing exist a weekly paper treating of things and people literary in a
facetious spirit It would be caviare to the general but might be supported I
should think The editor would probably be assassinated though«
»For anyone in my position« said Reardon »how is it possible to abandon
the three volumes It is a question of payment An author of moderate repute may
live on a yearly threevolume novel I mean the man who is obliged to sell his
book out and out and who gets from one to two hundred pounds for it But he
would have to produce four onevolume novels to obtain the same income and I
doubt whether he could get so many published within the twelve months And here
comes in the benefit of the libraries from the commercial point of view the
libraries are indispensable Do you suppose the public would support the present
number of novelists if each book had to be purchased A sudden change to that
system would throw threefourths of the novelists out of work«
»But theres no reason why the libraries shouldnt circulate novels in one
volume«
»Profits would be less I suppose People would take the minimum
subscription«
»Well to go to the concrete what about your own onevolume«
»All but done«
»And youll offer it to Jedwood Go and see him personally Hes a very
decent fellow I believe«
Milvain stayed only half an hour The days when he was wont to sit and talk
at large through a whole evening were no more partly because of his diminished
leisure but also for a less simple reason the growth of something like
estrangement between him and Reardon
»You didnt mention your plans« said Amy when the visitor had been gone
some time
»No«
Reardon was content with the negative and his wife made no further remark
The result of advertising the flat was that two or three persons called to
make inspection One of them a man of military appearance showed himself
anxious to come to terms he was willing to take the tenement from next
quarterday June but wished if possible to enter upon possession sooner
than that
»Nothing could be better« said Amy in colloquy with her husband »If he
will pay for the extra time we shall be only too glad«
Reardon mused and looked gloomy He could not bring himself to regard the
experiment before him with hopefulness and his heart sank at the thought of
parting from Amy
»You are very anxious to get rid of me« he answered trying to smile
»Yes I am« she exclaimed »but simply for your own good as you know very
well«
»Suppose I cant sell this book«
»You will have a few pounds Send your Pliny article to The Wayside If you
come to an end of all your money mother shall lend you some«
»I am not very likely to do much work in that case«
»Oh but you will sell the book Youll get twenty pounds for it and that
alone would keep you for three months Think three months of the best part of
the year at the seaside Oh you will do wonders«
The furniture was to be housed at Mrs Yules Neither of them durst speak of
selling it that would have sounded too ominous As for the locality of
Reardons retreat Amy herself had suggested Worthing which she knew from a
visit a few years ago the advantages were its proximity to London and the
likelihood that very cheap lodgings could be found either in the town or near
it One room would suffice for the hapless author and his expenses beyond a
trifling rent would be confined to mere food Oh yes he might manage on
considerably less than a pound a week
Amy was in much better spirits than for a long time she appeared to have
convinced herself that there was no doubt of the issue of this perilous scheme
that her husband would write a notable book receive a satisfactory price for
it and so reestablish their home Yet her moods varied greatly After all
there was delay in the letting of the flat and this caused her annoyance It
was whilst the negotiations were still pending that she made her call upon Maud
and Dora Milvain Reardon did not know of her intention to visit them until it
had been carried out She mentioned what she had done in almost a casual manner
»I had to get it over« she said when Reardon exhibited surprise »and I
dont think I made a very favourable impression«
»You told them I suppose what we are going to do«
»No I didnt say a word of it«
»But why not It cant be kept a secret Milvain will have heard of it
already I should think from your mother«
»From mother But its the rarest thing for him to go there Do you imagine
he is a constant visitor I thought it better to say nothing until the thing is
actually done Who knows what may happen«
She was in a strange nervous state and Reardon regarded her uneasily He
talked very little in these days and passed hours in dark reverie His book was
finished and he awaited the publishers decision
Chapter 16
Rejection
One of Reardons minor worries at this time was the fear that by chance he might
come upon a review of »Margaret Home« Since the publication of his first book
he had avoided as far as possible all knowledge of what the critics had to say
about him his nervous temperament could not bear the agitation of reading these
remarks which however inept define an author and his work to so many people
incapable of judging for themselves No man or woman could tell him anything in
the way of praise or blame which he did not already know quite well
commendation was pleasant but it so often aimed amiss and censure was for the
most part so unintelligent In the case of this latest novel he dreaded the
sight of a review as he would have done a gash from a rusty knife The judgments
could not but be damnatory and their expression in journalistic phrase would
disturb his mind with evil rancour No one would have insight enough to
appreciate the nature and cause of his books demerits every comment would be
wide of the mark sneer ridicule trite objection would but madden him with a
sense of injustice
His position was illogical one result of the moral weakness which was
allied with his aesthetic sensibility Putting aside the worthlessness of
current reviewing the critic of an isolated book has of course nothing to do
with its authors state of mind and body any more than with the condition of his
purse Reardon would have granted this but he could not command his emotions
He was in passionate revolt against the base necessities which compelled him to
put forth work in no way representing his healthy powers his artistic
criterion Not he had written this book but his accursed poverty To assail him
as the author was in his feeling to be guilty of brutal insult When by
illhap a notice in one of the daily papers came under his eyes it made his
blood boil with a fierceness of hatred only possible to him in a profoundly
morbid condition he could not steady his hand for half an hour after Yet this
particular critic only said what was quite true that the novel contained not a
single striking scene and not one living character Reardon had expressed
himself about it in almost identical terms But he saw himself in the position
of one sickly and all but destitute man against a relentless world and every
blow directed against him appeared dastardly He could have cried »Coward« to
the writer who wounded him
The wouldbe sensational story which was now in Mr Jedwoods hands had
perhaps more merit than »Margaret Home« its brevity and the fact that nothing
more was aimed at than a concatenation of brisk events made it not unreadable
But Reardon thought of it with humiliation If it were published as his next
work it would afford final proof to such sympathetic readers as he might still
retain that he had hopelessly written himself out and was now endeavouring to
adapt himself to an inferior public In spite of his dire necessities he now and
then hoped that Jedwood might refuse the thing
At moments he looked with sanguine eagerness to the three or four months he
was about to spend in retirement but such impulses were the mere outcome of his
nervous disease He had no faith in himself under present conditions the
permanence of his sufferings would mean the sure destruction of powers he still
possessed though they were not at his command Yet he believed that his mind
was made up as to the advisability of trying this last resource he was
impatient for the day of departure and in the interval merely killed time as
best he might He could not read and did not attempt to gather ideas for his
next book the delusion that his mind was resting made an excuse to him for the
barrenness of day after day His »Pliny« article had been despatched to The
Wayside and would possibly be accepted But he did not trouble himself about
this or other details it was as though his mind could do nothing more than
grasp the bald fact of impending destitution with the steps towards that final
stage he seemed to have little concern
One evening he set forth to make a call upon Harold Biffen whom he had not
seen since the realist called to acknowledge the receipt of a copy of »Margaret
Home« left at his lodgings when he was out Biffen resided in Clipstone Street
a thoroughfare discoverable in the dim district which lies between Portland
Place and Tottenham Court Road On knocking at the door of the lodginghouse
Reardon learnt that his friend was at home He ascended to the third storey and
tapped at a door which allowed rays of lamplight to issue from great gaps above
and below A sound of voices came from within and on entering he perceived that
Biffen was engaged with a pupil
»They didnt tell me you had a visitor« he said »Ill call again later«
»No need to go away« replied Biffen coming forward to shake hands »Take a
book for a few minutes Mr Baker wont mind«
It was a very small room with a ceiling so low that the tall lodger could
only just stand upright with safety perhaps three inches intervened between his
head and the plaster which was cracked grimy cobwebby A small scrap of weedy
carpet lay in front of the fireplace elsewhere the chinky boards were
unconcealed The furniture consisted of a round table which kept such imperfect
balance on its central support that the lamp entrusted to it looked in a
dangerous position of three small canebottomed chairs a small washhandstand
with sundry rude appurtenances and a chairbedstead which the tenant opened at
the hour of repose and spread with certain primitive trappings at present kept
in a cupboard There was no bookcase but a few hundred battered volumes were
arranged some on the floor and some on a rough chest The weather was too
characteristic of an English spring to make an empty grate agreeable to the eye
but Biffen held it an axiom that fires were unseasonable after the first of May
The individual referred to as Mr Baker who sat at the table in the attitude
of a student was a robust hardfeatured blackhaired young man of two or
threeandtwenty judging from his weatherbeaten cheeks and huge hands as well
as from the garb he wore one would have presumed that study was not his normal
occupation There was something of the riverside about him he might be a
dockman or even a bargeman He looked intelligent however and bore himself
with much modesty
»Now do endeavour to write in shorter sentences« said Biffen who sat down
by him and resumed the lesson Reardon having taken up a volume »This isnt bad
it isnt bad at all I assure you but you have put all you had to say into
three appalling periods whereas you ought to have made about a dozen«
»There it is sir there it is« exclaimed the man smoothing his wiry hair
»I cant break it up The thoughts come in a lump if I may say so To break it
up theres the art of compersition«
Reardon could not refrain from a glance at the speaker and Biffen whose
manner was very grave and kindly turned to his friend with an explanation of
the difficulties with which the student was struggling
»Mr Baker is preparing for the examination of the Outdoor Customs
Department One of the subjects is English composition and really you know
that isnt quite such a simple matter as some people think«
Baker beamed upon the visitor with a homely goodnatured smile
»I can make headway with the other things sir« he said striking the table
lightly with his clenched fist »Theres handwriting theres orthography
theres arithmetic Im not afraid of one of em as Mr Biffen ll tell you
sir But when it comes to compersition that brings out the sweat on my
forehead I do assure you«
»Youre not the only man in that case Mr Baker« replied Reardon
»Its thought a tough job in general is it sir«
»It is indeed«
»Two hundred marks for compersition« continued the man »Now how many would
they have given me for this bit of a try Mr Biffen«
»Well well I cant exactly say But you improve you improve decidedly
Peg away for another week or two«
»Oh dont fear me sir Im not easily beaten when Ive set my mind on a
thing and Ill break up the compersition yet see if I dont«
Again his fist descended upon the table in a way that reminded one of the
steamhammer cracking a nut
The lesson proceeded for about ten minutes Reardon under pretence of
reading following it with as much amusement as anything could excite in him
nowadays At length Mr Baker stood up collected his papers and books and
seemed about to depart but after certain uneasy movements and glances he said
to Biffen in a subdued voice
»Perhaps I might speak to you outside the door a minute sir«
He and the teacher went out the door closed and Reardon heard sounds of
muffled conversation In a minute or two a heavy footstep descended the stairs
and Biffen reentered the room
»Now thats a good honest fellow« he said in an amused tone »Its my
paynight but he didnt like to fork out money before you A very unusual
delicacy in a man of that standing He pays me sixpence for an hours lesson
that brings me two shillings a week I sometimes feel a little ashamed to take
his money but then the fact is hes a good deal better off than I am«
»Will he get a place in the Customs do you think«
»Oh Ive no doubt of it If it seemed unlikely I should have told him so
before this To be sure thats a point I have often to consider and once or
twice my delicacy has asserted itself at the expense of my pocket There was a
poor consumptive lad came to me not long ago and wanted Latin lessons talked
about going in for the London Matric on his way to the pulpit I couldnt
stand it After a lesson or two I told him his cough was too bad and he had no
right to study until he got into better health that was better I think than
saying plainly he had no chance on earth But the food I bought with his money
was choking me Oh yes Baker will make his way right enough A good modest
fellow You noticed how respectfully he spoke to me It doesnt make any
difference to him that I live in a garret like this Im a man of education and
he can separate this fact from my surroundings«
»Biffen why dont you get some decent position Surely you might«
»What position No school would take me I have neither credentials nor
conventional clothing For the same reason I couldnt get a private tutorship in
a rich family No no its all right I keep myself alive and I get on with my
work Bytheby Ive decided to write a book called Mr Bailey Grocer«
»Whats the idea«
»An objectionable word that Better say Whats the reality Well Mr
Bailey is a grocer in a little street by here I have dealt with him for a long
time and as hes a talkative fellow Ive come to know a good deal about him and
his history Hes fond of talking about the struggle he had in his first year of
business He had no money of his own but he married a woman who had saved
fortyfive pounds out of a catsmeat business You should see that woman A
big coarse squinting creature at the time of the marriage she was a widow and
fortytwo years old Now Im going to tell the true story of Mr Baileys
marriage and of his progress as a grocer Itll be a great book a great book«
He walked up and down the room fervid with his conception
»Therell be nothing bestial in it you know The decently ignoble as Ive
so often said The thingll take me a year at least I shall do it slowly
lovingly One volume of course the length of the ordinary French novel
Theres something fine in the title dont you think Mr Bailey Grocer«
»I envy you old fellow« said Reardon sighing »You have the right fire in
you you have zeal and energy Well what do you think I have decided to do«
»I should like to hear«
Reardon gave an account of his project The other listened gravely seated
across a chair with his arms on the back
»Your wife is in agreement with this«
»Oh yes« He could not bring himself to say that Amy had suggested it »She
has great hopes that the change will be just what I need«
»I should say so too if you were going to rest But if you have to set to
work at once it seems to me very doubtful«
»Never mind For Heavens sake dont discourage me If this fails I think
upon my soul I think I shall kill myself«
»Pooh« exclaimed Biffen gently »With a wife like yours«
»Just because of that«
»No no therell be some way out of it Bytheby I passed Mrs Reardon
this morning but she didnt see me It was in Tottenham Court Road and Milvain
was with her I felt myself too seedy in appearance to stop and speak«
»In Tottenham Court Road«
That was not the detail of the story which chiefly held Reardons attention
yet he did not purposely make a misleading remark His mind involuntarily played
this trick
»I only saw them just as they were passing« pursued Biffen »Oh I knew I
had something to tell you Have you heard that Whelpdale is going to be
married«
Reardon shook his head in a preoccupied way
»I had a note from him this morning telling me He asked me to look him up
tonight and hed let me know all about it Lets go together shall we«
»I dont feel much in the humour for Whelpdale Ill walk with you and go
on home«
»No no come and see him Itll do you good to talk a little But I must
positively eat a mouthful before we go Im afraid you wont care to join«
He opened his cupboard and brought out a loaf of bread and a saucer of
dripping with salt and pepper
»Better dripping this than Ive had for a long time I get it at Mr Baileys
that isnt his real name of course He assures me it comes from a large hotel
where his wifes sister is a kitchenmaid and that its perfectly pure they
very often mix flour with it you know and perhaps more obnoxious things that
an economical man doesnt care to reflect upon Now with a little pepper and
salt this bread and dripping is as appetising food as I know I often make a
dinner of it«
»I have done the same myself before now Do you ever buy peasepudding«
»I should think so I get magnificent pennyworths at a shop in Cleveland
Street of a very rich quality indeed Excellent faggots they have there too
Ill give you a supper of them some night before you go«
Biffen rose to enthusiasm in the contemplation of these dainties He ate his
bread and dripping with knife and fork this always made the fare seem more
substantial
»Is it very cold out« he asked rising from the table »Need I put my
overcoat on«
This overcoat purchased secondhand three years ago hung on a doornail
Comparative ease of circumstances had restored to the realist his ordinary
indoor garment a morning coat of the cloth called diagonal rather large for
him but in better preservation than the other articles of his attire
Reardon judging the overcoat necessary his friend carefully brushed it and
drew it on with a caution which probably had reference to starting seams Then
he put into the pocket his pipe his pouch his tobaccostopper and his
matches murmuring to himself a Greek iambic line which had come into his head
apropos of nothing obvious
»Go out« he said »and then Ill extinguish the lamp Mind the second step
down as usual«
They issued into Clipstone Street turned northward crossed Euston Road
and came into Albany Street where in a house of decent exterior Mr Whelpdale
had his present abode A girl who opened the door requested them to walk up to
the topmost storey
A cheery voice called to them from within the room at which they knocked
This lodging spoke more distinctly of civilisation than that inhabited by
Biffen it contained the minimum supply of furniture needed to give it somewhat
the appearance of a study but the articles were in good condition One end of
the room was concealed by a chintz curtain scrutiny would have discovered
behind the draping the essential equipments of a bedchamber
Mr Whelpdale sat by the fire smoking a cigar He was a plainfeatured but
graceful and refinedlooking man of thirty with wavy chestnut hair and a
trimmed beard which became him well At present he wore a dressinggown and was
without collar
»Welcome gents both« he cried facetiously »Ages since I saw you Reardon
Ive been reading your new book Uncommonly good things in it here and there
uncommonly good«
Whelpdale had the weakness of being unable to tell a disagreeable truth and
a tendency to flattery which had always made Reardon rather uncomfortable in his
society Though there was no need whatever of his mentioning »Margaret Home« he
preferred to frame smooth fictions rather than keep a silence which might be
construed as unfavourable criticism
»In the last volume« he went on »I think there are one or two things as
good as you ever did I do indeed«
Reardon made no acknowledgment of these remarks They irritated him for he
knew their insincerity Biffen understanding his friends silence struck in on
another subject
»Who is this lady of whom you write to me«
»Ah quite a story Im going to be married Reardon A serious marriage
Light your pipes and Ill tell you all about it Startled you I suppose
Biffen Unlikely news eh Some people would call it a rash step I dare say We
shall just take another room in this house thats all I think I can count upon
an income of a couple of guineas a week and I have plans without end that are
pretty sure to bring in coin«
Reardon did not care to smoke but Biffen lit his pipe and waited with grave
interest for the romantic narrative Whenever he heard of a poor mans
persuading a woman to share his poverty he was eager of details perchance he
himself might yet have that heavenly good fortune
»Well« began Whelpdale crossing his legs and watching a wreath he had just
puffed from the cigar »you know all about my literary advisership The business
goes on reasonably well Im going to extend it in ways Ill explain to you
presently About six weeks ago I received a letter from a lady who referred to
my advertisements and said she had the manuscript of a novel which she would
like to offer for my opinion Two publishers had refused it but one with
complimentary phrases and she hoped it mightnt be impossible to put the thing
into acceptable shape Of course I wrote optimistically and the manuscript was
sent to me Well it wasnt actually bad by Jove you should have seen some of
the things I have been asked to recommend to publishers It wasnt hopelessly
bad by any means and I gave serious thought to it After exchange of several
letters I asked the authoress to come and see me that we might save
postagestamps and talk things over She hadnt given me her address I had to
direct to a stationers in Bayswater She agreed to come and did come I had
formed a sort of idea but of course I was quite wrong Imagine my excitement
when there came in a very beautiful girl a tremendously interesting girl about
oneandtwenty just the kind of girl that most strongly appeals to me dark
pale rather consumptivelooking slender no theres no describing her there
really isnt You must wait till you see her«
»I hope the consumption was only a figure of speech« remarked Biffen in his
grave way
»Oh theres nothing serious the matter I think A slight cough poor girl
«
»The deuce« interjected Reardon
»Oh nothing nothing Itll be all right Well now of course we talked
over the story in good earnest you know Little by little I induced her to
speak of herself this after shed come two or three times and she told me
lamentable things She was absolutely alone in London and hadnt had sufficient
food for weeks had sold all she could of her clothing and so on Her home was
in Birmingham she had been driven away by the brutality of a stepmother a
friend lent her a few pounds and she came to London with an unfinished novel
Well you know this kind of thing would be enough to make me softhearted to
any girl let alone one who to begin with was absolutely my ideal When she
began to express a fear that I was giving too much time to her that she
wouldnt be able to pay my fees and so on I could restrain myself no longer
On the spot I asked her to marry me I didnt practise any deception mind I
told her I was a poor devil who had failed as a realistic novelist and was
earning bread in haphazard ways and I explained frankly that I thought we might
carry on various kinds of business together she might go on with her
novelwriting and so on But she was frightened I had been too abrupt
Thats a fault of mine you know but I was so confoundedly afraid of losing
her And I told her as much plainly«
Biffen smiled
»This would be exciting« he said »if we didnt know the end of the story«
»Yes Pity I didnt keep it a secret Well she wouldnt say yes but I
could see that she didnt absolutely say no In any case I said youll let me
see you often Fees be hanged Ill work day and night for you Ill do my
utmost to get your novel accepted And I implored her to let me lend her a
little money It was very difficult to persuade her but at last she accepted a
few shillings I could see in her face that she was hungry Just imagine A
beautiful girl absolutely hungry it drove me frantic But that was a great
point gained After that we saw each other almost every day and at last she
consented Did indeed I can hardly believe it yet We shall be married in a
fortnights time«
»I congratulate you« said Reardon
»So do I« sighed Biffen
»The day before yesterday she went to Birmingham to see her father and tell
him all about the affair I agreed with her it was as well the old fellow isnt
badly off and he may forgive her for running away though hes under his wifes
thumb it appears I had a note yesterday She had gone to a friends house for
the first day I hoped to have heard again this morning must tomorrow in any
case I live as you may imagine in wild excitement Of course if the old man
stumps up a weddingpresent all the better But I dont care well make a
living somehow What do you think Im writing just now An authors Guide You
know the kind of thing they sell splendidly Of course I shall make it a good
advertisement of my business Then I have a splendid idea Im going to
advertise Novelwriting taught in ten lessons What do you think of that No
swindle not a bit of it I am quite capable of giving the ordinary man or woman
ten very useful lessons Ive been working out the scheme it would amuse you
vastly Reardon The first lesson deals with the question of subjects local
colour that kind of thing I gravely advise people if they possibly can to
write of the wealthy middle class thats the popular subject you know Lords
and ladies are all very well but the real thing to take is a story about people
who have no titles but live in good Philistine style I urge study of horsey
matters especially thats very important You must be well up too in military
grades know about Sandhurst and so on Boating is an important topic You see
Oh I shall make a great thing of this I shall teach my wife carefully and
then let her advertise lessons to girls theyll prefer coming to a woman you
know«
Biffen leant back and laughed noisily
»How much shall you charge for the course« asked Reardon
»Thatll depend I shant refuse a guinea or two but some people may be
made to pay five perhaps«
Someone knocked at the door and a voice said
»A letter for you Mr Whelpdale«
He started up and came back into the room with face illuminated
»Yes its from Birmingham posted this morning Look what an exquisite hand
she writes«
He tore open the envelope In delicacy Reardon and Biffen averted their
eyes There was silence for a minute then a strange ejaculation from Whelpdale
caused his friends to look up at him He had gone pale and was frowning at the
sheets of paper which trembled in his hand
»No bad news I hope« Biffen ventured to say
Whelpdale let himself sink into a chair
»Now if this isnt too bad« he exclaimed in a thick voice »If this isnt
monstrously unkind I never heard anything so gross as this never«
The two waited trying not to smile
»She writes that she has met an old lover in Birmingham that it was
with him she had quarrelled not with her father at all that she ran away to
annoy him and frighten him that she has made it up again and theyre going to
be married«
He let the sheet fall and looked so utterly woebegone that his friends at
once exerted themselves to offer such consolation as the case admitted of
Reardon thought better of Whelpdale for this emotion he had not believed him
capable of it
»It isnt a case of vulgar cheating« cried the forsaken one presently
»Dont go away thinking that She writes in real distress and penitence she
does indeed Oh the devil Why did I let her go to Birmingham A fortnight
more and I should have had her safe But its just like my luck Do you know
that this is the third time Ive been engaged to be married no by Jove the
fourth And every time the girl has got out of it at the last moment What an
unlucky beast I am A girl who was positively my ideal I havent even a
photograph of her to show you but youd be astonished at her face Why in the
devils name did I let her go to Birmingham«
The visitors had risen They felt uncomfortable for it seemed as if
Whelpdale might find vent for his distress in tears
»We had better leave you« suggested Biffen »Its very hard it is
indeed«
»Look here Read the letter for yourselves Do«
They declined and begged him not to insist
»But I want you to see what kind of girl she is It isnt a case of farcical
deceiving not a bit of it She implores me to forgive her and blames herself
no end Just my luck The third no the fourth time by Jove Never was such
an unlucky fellow with women Its because Im so damnably poor thats it of
course«
Reardon and his companion succeeded at length in getting away though not
till they had heard the virtues and beauty of the vanished girl described again
and again in much detail Both were in a state of depression as they left the
house
»What think you of this story« asked Biffen »Is this possible in a woman
of any merit«
»Anything is possible in a woman« Reardon replied harshly
They walked in silence as far as Portland Road Station There with an
assurance that he would come to a garretsupper before leaving London Reardon
parted from his friend and turned westward
As soon as he had entered Amys voice called to him
»Heres a letter from Jedwood Edwin«
He stepped into the study
»It came just after you went out and it has been all I could do to resist
the temptation to open it«
»Why shouldnt you have opened it« said her husband carelessly
He tried to do so himself but his shaking hand thwarted him at first
Succeeding at length he found a letter in the publishers own writing and the
first word that caught his attention was regret With an angry effort to command
himself he ran through the communication then held it out to Amy
She read and her countenance fell Mr Jedwood regretted that the story
offered to him did not seem likely to please the particular public to whom his
series of onevolume novels made appeal He hoped it would be understood that
in declining he by no means expressed an adverse judgment on the story itself
etc
»It doesnt surprise me« said Reardon »I believe he is quite right The
thing is too empty to please the better kind of readers yet not vulgar enough
to please the worse«
»But youll try someone else«
»I dont think its much use«
They sat opposite each other and kept silence Jedwoods letter slipped
from Amys lap to the ground
»So« said Reardon presently »I dont see how our plan is to be carried
out«
»Oh it must be«
»But how«
»Youll get seven or eight pounds from The Wayside And hadnt we better
sell the furniture instead of «
His look checked her
»It seems to me Amy that your one desire is to get away from me on
whatever terms«
»Dont begin that over again« she exclaimed fretfully »If you dont
believe what I say «
They were both in a state of intolerable nervous tension Their voices
quivered and their eyes had an unnatural brightness
»If we sell the furniture« pursued Reardon »that means youll never come
back to me You wish to save yourself and the child from the hard life that
seems to be before us«
»Yes I do but not by deserting you I want you to go and work for us all
so that we may live more happily before long Oh how wretched this is«
She burst into hysterical weeping But Reardon instead of attempting to
soothe her went into the next room where he sat for a long time in the dark
When he returned Amy was calm again her face expressed a cold misery
»Where did you go this morning« he asked as if wishing to talk of common
things
»I told you I went to buy those things for Willie«
»Oh yes«
There was a silence
»Biffen passed you in Tottenham Court Road« he added
»I didnt see him«
»No he said you didnt«
»Perhaps« said Amy »it was just when I was speaking to Mr Milvain«
»You met Milvain«
»Yes«
»Why didnt you tell me«
»Im sure I dont know I cant mention every trifle that happens«
»No of course not«
Amy closed her eyes as if in weariness and for a minute or two Reardon
observed her countenance
»So you think we had better sell the furniture«
»I shall say nothing more about it You must do as seems best to you
Edwin«
»Are you going to see your mother tomorrow«
»Yes I thought you would like to come too«
»No theres no good in my going«
He again rose and that night they talked no more of their difficulties
though on the morrow Sunday it would be necessary to decide their course in
every detail
Chapter 17
The Parting
Amy did not go to church Before her marriage she had done so as a mere matter
of course accompanying her mother but Reardons attitude with regard to the
popular religion speedily became her own she let the subject lapse from her
mind and cared neither to defend nor to attack where dogma was concerned She
had no sympathies with mysticism her nature was strongly practical with
something of zeal for intellectual attainment superadded
This Sunday morning she was very busy with domestic minutiæ Reardon noticed
what looked like preparations for packing and being as little disposed for
conversation as his wife he went out and walked for a couple of hours in the
Hampstead region Dinner over Amy at once made ready for her journey to
Westbourne Park
»Then you wont come« she said to her husband
»No I shall see your mother before I go away but I dont care to till you
have settled everything«
It was half a year since he had met Mrs Yule She never came to their
dwelling and Reardon could not bring himself to visit her
»You had very much rather we didnt sell the furniture« Amy asked
»Ask your mothers opinion That shall decide«
»Therell be the expense of moving it you know Unless money comes from The
Wayside youll only have two or three pounds left«
Reardon made no reply He was overcome by the bitterness of shame
»I shall say then« pursued Amy who spoke with averted face »that I am to
go there for good on Tuesday I mean of course for the summer months«
»I suppose so«
Then he turned suddenly upon her
»Do you really imagine that at the end of the summer I shall be a rich man
What do you mean by talking in this way If the furniture is sold to supply me
with a few pounds for the present what prospect is there that I shall be able
to buy new«
»How can we look forward at all« replied Amy »It has come to the question
of how we are to subsist I thought you would rather get money in this way than
borrow of mother when she has the expense of keeping me and Willie«
»You are right« muttered Reardon »Do as you think best«
Amy was in her most practical mood and would not linger for purposeless
talk A few minutes and Reardon was left alone
He stood before his bookshelves and began to pick out the volumes which he
would take away with him Just a few the indispensable companions of a bookish
man who still clings to life his Homer his Shakespeare
The rest must be sold He would get rid of them tomorrow morning All
together they might bring him a couple of sovereigns
Then his clothing Amy had fulfilled all the domestic duties of a wife his
wardrobe was in as good a state as circumstances allowed But there was no
object in burdening himself with winter garments for if he lived through the
summer at all he would be able to repurchase such few poor things as were
needful at present he could only think of how to get together a few coins So
he made a heap of such things as might be sold
The furniture If it must go the price could scarcely be more than ten or
twelve pounds well perhaps fifteen To be sure in this way his summers
living would be abundantly provided for
He thought of Biffen enviously Biffen if need be could support life on
three or four shillings a week happy in the thought that no mortal had a claim
upon him If he starved to death well many another lonely man has come to
that end If he preferred to kill himself who would be distressed Spoilt child
of fortune
The bells of St Marylebone began to clang for afternoon service In the
idleness of dull pain his thoughts followed their summons and he marvelled that
there were people who could imagine it a duty or find it a solace to go and sit
in that twilight church and listen to the droning of prayers He thought of the
wretched millions of mankind to whom life is so barren that they must needs
believe in a recompense beyond the grave For that he neither looked nor longed
The bitterness of his lot was that this world might be a sufficing paradise to
him if only he could clutch a poor little share of current coin He had won the
worlds greatest prize a womans love but could not retain it because his
pockets were empty
That he should fail to make a great name this was grievous disappointment
to Amy but this alone would not have estranged her It was the dread and shame
of penury that made her heart cold to him And he could not in his conscience
scorn her for being thus affected by the vulgar circumstances of life only a
few supreme natures stand unshaken under such a trial and though his love of
Amy was still passionate he knew that her place was among a certain class of
women and not on the isolated pinnacle where he had at first visioned her It
was entirely natural that she shrank at the test of squalid suffering A little
money and he could have rested secure in her love for then he would have been
able to keep ever before her the best qualities of his heart and brain Upon
him too penury had its debasing effect as he now presented himself he was not
a man to be admired or loved It was all simple and intelligible enough a
situation that would be misread only by shallow idealism
Worst of all she was attracted by Jasper Milvains energy and promise of
success He had no ignoble suspicions of Amy but it was impossible for him not
to see that she habitually contrasted the young journalist who laughingly made
his way among men with her grave dispirited husband who was not even capable
of holding such position as he had gained She enjoyed Milvains conversation
it put her into a good humour she liked him personally and there could be no
doubt that she had observed a jealous tendency in Reardons attitude to his
former friend always a harmful suggestion to a woman Formerly she had
appreciated her husbands superiority she had smiled at Milvains commoner
stamp of mind and character But tedious repetition of failure had outwearied
her and now she saw Milvain in the sunshine of progress dwelt upon the worldly
advantages of gifts and a temperament such as his Again simple and
intelligible enough
Living apart from her husband she could not be expected to forswear
society and doubtless she would see Milvain pretty often He called
occasionally at Mrs Yules and would not do so less often when he knew that Amy
was to be met there There would be chance encounters like that of yesterday of
which she had chosen to keep silence
A dark fear began to shadow him In yielding thus passively to stress of
circumstances was he not exposing his wife to a danger which outweighed all the
ills of poverty As one to whom she was inestimably dear was he right in
allowing her to leave him if only for a few months He knew very well that a
man of strong character would never have entertained this project He had got
into the way of thinking of himself as too weak to struggle against the
obstacles on which Amy insisted and of looking for safety in retreat but what
was to be the end of this weakness if the summer did not at all advance him He
knew better than Amy could how unlikely it was that he should recover the
energies of his mind in so short a time and under such circumstances only the
feeble mans temptation to postpone effort had made him consent to this step
and now that he was all but beyond turning back the perils of which he had
thought too little forced themselves upon his mind
He rose in anguish and stood looking about him as if aid might somewhere be
visible
Presently there was a knock at the front door and on opening he beheld the
vivacious Mr Carter This gentleman had only made two or three calls here since
Reardons marriage his appearance was a surprise
»I hear you are leaving town for a time« he exclaimed »Edith told me
yesterday so I thought Id look you up«
He was in spring costume and exhaled fresh odours The contrast between his
prosperous animation and Reardons brokenspirited quietness could not have been
more striking
»Going away for your health they tell me Youve been working too hard you
know You mustnt overdo it And where do you think of going to«
»It isnt at all certain that I shall go« Reardon replied »I thought of a
few weeks somewhere at the seaside«
»I advise you to go north« went on Carter cheerily »You want a tonic you
know Get up into Scotland and do some boating and fishing that kind of thing
Youd come back a new man Edith and I had a turn up there last year you know
it did me heaps of good«
»Oh I dont think I should go so far as that«
»But thats just what you want a regular change something bracing You
dont look at all well thats the fact A winter in London tries any man it
does me I know Ive been seedy myself these last few weeks Edith wants me to
take her over to Paris at the end of this month and I think it isnt a bad
idea but Im so confoundedly busy In the autumn we shall go to Norway I
think it seems to be the right thing to do nowadays Why shouldnt you have a
run over to Norway They say it can be done very cheaply the steamers take you
for next to nothing«
He talked on with the joyous satisfaction of a man whose income is assured
and whose future teems with a succession of lively holidays Reardon could make
no answer to such suggestions he sat with a fixed smile on his face
»Have you heard« said Carter presently »that were opening a branch of
the hospital in the City Road«
»No I hadnt heard of it«
»Itll only be for outpatients Open three mornings and three evenings
alternately«
»Wholl represent you there«
»I shall look in now and then of course therell be a clerk like at the
old place«
He talked of the matter in detail of the doctors who would attend and of
certain new arrangements to be tried
»Have you engaged the clerk« Reardon asked
»Not yet I think I know a man wholl suit me though«
»You wouldnt be disposed to give me the chance«
Reardon spoke huskily and ended with a broken laugh
»Youre rather above my figure nowadays old man« exclaimed Carter joining
in what he considered the jest
»Shall you pay a pound a week«
»Twentyfive shillings Itll have to be a man who can be trusted to take
money from the paying patients«
»Well I am serious Will you give me the place«
Carter gazed at him and checked another laugh
»What the deuce do you mean«
»The fact is« Reardon replied »I want variety of occupation I cant stick
at writing for more than a month or two at a time Its because I have tried to
do so that well practically I have broken down If you will give me this
clerkship it will relieve me from the necessity of perpetually writing novels
I shall be better for it in every way You know that Im equal to the job you
can trust me and I dare say I shall be more useful than most clerks you could
get«
It was done most happily done on the first impulse A minute more of
pause and he could not have faced the humiliation His face burned his tongue
was parched
»Im floored« cried Carter »I shouldnt have thought but of course if
you really want it I can hardly believe yet that youre serious Reardon«
»Why not Will you promise me the work«
»Well yes«
»When shall I have to begin«
»The place ll be opened tomorrow week But how about your holiday«
»Oh let that stand over Itll be holiday enough to occupy myself in a new
way An old way too I shall enjoy it«
He laughed merrily relieved beyond measure at having come to what seemed an
end of his difficulties For half an hour they continued to talk over the
affair
»Well its a comical idea« said Carter as he took his leave »but you
know your own business best«
When Amy returned Reardon allowed her to put the child to bed before he
sought any conversation She came at length and sat down in the study
»Mother advises us not to sell the furniture« were her first words
»Im glad of that as I had quite made up my mind not to«
There was a change in his way of speaking which she at once noticed
»Have you thought of something«
»Yes Carter has been here and he happened to mention that theyre opening
an outpatient department of the hospital in the City Road Hell want someone
to help him there I asked for the post and he promised it me«
The last words were hurried though he had resolved to speak with
deliberation No more feebleness he had taken a decision and would act upon it
as became a responsible man
»The post« said Amy »What post«
»In plain English the clerkship Itll be the same work as I used to have
registering patients receiving their letters and so on The pay is to be
fiveandtwenty shillings a week«
Amy sat upright and looked steadily at him
»Is this a joke«
»Far from it dear Its a blessed deliverance«
»You have asked Mr Carter to take you back as a clerk«
»I have«
»And you propose that we shall live on twentyfive shillings a week«
»Oh no I shall be engaged only three mornings in the week and three
evenings In my free time I shall do literary work and no doubt I can earn
fifty pounds a year by it if I have your sympathy to help me To I shall go
and look for rooms some distance from here in Islington I think We have been
living far beyond our means that must come to an end Well have no more
keeping up of sham appearances If I can make my way in literature well and
good in that case our position and prospects will of course change But for the
present we are poor people and must live in a poor way If our friends like to
come and see us they must put aside all snobbishness and take us as we are If
they prefer not to come therell be an excuse in our remoteness«
Amy was stroking the back of her hand After a long silence she said in a
very quiet but very resolute tone
»I shall not consent to this«
»In that case Amy I must do without your consent The rooms will be taken
and our furniture transferred to them«
»To me that will make no difference« returned his wife in the same voice
as before »I have decided as you told me to to go with Willie to mothers
next Tuesday You of course must do as you please I should have thought a
summer at the seaside would have been more helpful to you but if you prefer to
live in Islington «
Reardon approached her and laid a hand on her shoulder
»Amy are you my wife or not«
»I am certainly not the wife of a clerk who is paid so much a week«
He had foreseen a struggle but without certainty of the form Amys
opposition would take For himself he meant to be gently resolute calmly
regardless of protest But in a man to whom such selfassertion is a matter of
conscious effort tremor of the nerves will always interfere with the line of
conduct he has conceived in advance Already Reardon had spoken with far more
bluntness than he proposed involuntarily his voice slipped from earnest
determination to the note of absolutism and as is wont to be the case the
sound of these strange tones instigated him to further utterances of the same
kind He lost control of himself Amys last reply went through him like an
electric shock and for the moment he was a mere husband defied by his wife the
male stung to exertion of his brute force against the physically weaker sex
»However you regard me you will do what I think fit I shall not argue with
you If I choose to take lodgings in Whitechapel there you will come and live«
He met Amys full look and was conscious of that in it which corresponded
to his own brutality She had become suddenly a much older woman her cheeks
were tight drawn into thinness her lips were bloodlessly hard there was an
unknown furrow along her forehead and she glared like the animal that defends
itself with tooth and claw
»Do as you think fit Indeed«
Could Amys voice sound like that Great Heaven With just such accent he
had heard a wrangling woman retort upon her husband at the street corner Is
there then no essential difference between a woman of this world and one of
that Does the same nature lie beneath such unlike surfaces
He had but to do one thing to seize her by the arm drag her up from the
chair dash her back again with all his force there the transformation would
be complete they would stand towards each other on the natural footing With an
added curse perhaps
Instead of that he choked struggled for breath and shed tears
Amy turned scornfully away from him Blows and a curse would have overawed
her at all events for the moment she would have felt »Yes he is a man and I
have put my destiny into his hands« His tears moved her to a feeling cruelly
exultant they were the sign of her superiority It was she who should have
wept and never in her life had she been further from such display of weakness
This could not be the end however and she had no wish to terminate the
scene They stood for a minute without regarding each other then Reardon faced
to her
»You refuse to live with me then«
»Yes if this is the kind of life you offer me«
»You would be more ashamed to share your husbands misfortunes than to
declare to everyone that you had deserted him«
»I shall declare to everyone the simple truth You have the opportunity of
making one more effort to save us from degradation You refuse to take the
trouble you prefer to drag me down into a lower rank of life I cant and wont
consent to that The disgrace is yours its fortunate for me that I have a
decent home to go to«
»Fortunate for you you make yourself unutterably contemptible I have
done nothing that justifies you in leaving me It is for me to judge what I can
do and what I cant A good woman would see no degradation in what I ask of you
But to run away from me just because I am poorer than you ever thought I should
be «
He was incoherent A thousand passionate things that he wished to say
clashed together in his mind and confused his speech Defeated in the attempt to
act like a strong man he could not yet recover standingground knew not how to
tone his utterances
»Yes of course thats how you will put it« said Amy »Thats how you will
represent me to your friends My friends will see it in a different light«
»They will regard you as a martyr«
»No one shall make a martyr of me you may be sure I was unfortunate enough
to marry a man who had no delicacy no regard for my feelings I am not the
first woman who has made a mistake of this kind«
»No delicacy No regard for your feelings Have I always utterly
misunderstood you Or has poverty changed you to a woman I cant recognise«
He came nearer and gazed desperately into her face Not a muscle of it
showed susceptibility to the old influences
»Do you know Amy« he added in a lower voice »that if we part now we part
for ever«
»Im afraid that is only too likely«
She moved aside
»You mean that you wish it You are weary of me and care for nothing but
how to make yourself free«
»I shall argue no more I am tired to death of it«
»Then say nothing but listen for the last time to my view of the position
we have come to When I consented to leave you for a time to go away and try to
work in solitude I was foolish and even insincere both to you and to myself I
knew that I was undertaking the impossible It was just putting off the evil
day that was all putting off the time when I should have to say plainly I
cant live by literature so I must look out for some other employment I
shouldnt have been so weak but that I knew how you would regard such a decision
as that I was afraid to tell the truth afraid Now when Carter of a sudden
put this opportunity before me I saw all the absurdity of the arrangements we
had made It didnt take me a moment to make up my mind Anything was to be
chosen rather than a parting from you on false pretences a ridiculous
affectation of hope where there was no hope«
He paused and saw that his words had no effect upon her
»And a grievous share of the fault lies with you Amy You remember very
well when I first saw how dark the future was I was driven even to say that we
ought to change our mode of living I asked you if you would be willing to leave
this place and go into cheaper rooms And you know what your answer was Not a
sign in you that you would stand by me if the worst came I knew then what I had
to look forward to but I durst not believe it I kept saying to myself She
loves me and as soon as she really understands That was all selfdeception
If I had been a wise man I should have spoken to you in a way you couldnt
mistake I should have told you that we were living recklessly and that I had
determined to alter it I have no delicacy No regard for your feelings Oh if
I had had less I doubt whether you can even understand some of the
considerations that weighed with me and made me cowardly though I once
thought there was no refinement of sensibility that you couldnt enter into
Yes I was absurd enough to say to myself It will look as if I had consciously
deceived her she may suffer from the thought that I won her at all hazards
knowing that I should soon expose her to poverty and all sorts of humiliation
Impossible to speak of that again I had to struggle desperately on trying to
hope Oh if you knew «
His voice gave way for an instant
»I dont understand how you could be so thoughtless and heartless You knew
that I was almost mad with anxiety at times Surely any woman must have had the
impulse to give what help was in her power How could you hesitate Had you no
suspicion of what a relief and encouragement it would be to me if you said
Yes we must go and live in a simpler way If only as a proof that you loved me
how I should have welcomed that You helped me in nothing You threw all the
responsibility upon me always bearing in mind I suppose that there was a
refuge for you Even now I despise myself for saying such things of you though
I know so bitterly that they are true It takes a long time to see you as such a
different woman from the one I worshipped In passion I can fling out violent
words but they dont yet answer to my actual feeling It will be long enough
yet before I think contemptuously of you You know that when a light is suddenly
extinguished the image of it still shows before your eyes But at last comes
the darkness«
Amy turned towards him once more
»Instead of saying all this you might be proving that I am wrong Do so
and I will gladly confess it«
»That you are wrong I dont see your meaning«
»You might prove that you are willing to do your utmost to save me from
humiliation«
»Amy I have done my utmost I have done more than you can imagine«
»No You have toiled on in illness and anxiety I know that But a chance
is offered you now of working in a better way Till that is tried you have no
right to give all up and try to drag me down with you«
»I dont know how to answer I have told you so often You cant understand
me«
»I can I can« Her voice trembled for the first time »I know that you are
so ready to give in to difficulties Listen to me and do as I bid you« She
spoke in the strangest tone of command It was command not exhortation but
there was no harshness in her voice »Go at once to Mr Carter Tell him you have
made a ludicrous mistake in a fit of low spirits anything you like to say
Tell him you of course couldnt dream of becoming his clerk Tonight at once
You understand me Edwin Go now this moment«
»Have you determined to see how weak I am Do you wish to be able to despise
me more completely still«
»I am determined to be your friend and to save you from yourself Go at
once Leave all the rest to me If I have let things take their course till now
it shant be so in future The responsibility shall be with me Only do as I
tell you«
»You know its impossible «
»It is not I will find money No one shall be allowed to say that we are
parting no one has any such idea yet You are going away for your health just
three summer months I have been far more careful of appearances than you
imagine but you give me credit for so little I will find the money you need
until you have written another book I promise I undertake it Then I will find
another home for us of the proper kind You shall have no trouble You shall
give yourself entirely to intellectual things But Mr Carter must be told at
once before he can spread a report If he has spoken he must contradict what
he has said«
»But you amaze me Amy Do you mean to say that you look upon it as a
veritable disgrace my taking this clerkship«
»I do I cant help my nature I am ashamed through and through that you
should sink to this«
»But everyone knows that I was a clerk once«
»Very few people know it And then that isnt the same thing It doesnt
matter what one has been in the past Especially a literary man everyone
expects to hear that he was once poor But to fall from the position you now
have and to take weekly wages you surely cant know how people of my world
regard that«
»Of your world I had thought your world was the same as mine and knew
nothing whatever of these imbecilities«
»It is getting late Go and see Mr Carter and afterwards I will talk as
much as you like«
He might perhaps have yielded but the unemphasised contempt in that last
sentence was more than he could bear It demonstrated to him more completely
than set terms could have done what a paltry weakling he would appear in Amys
eyes if he took his hat down from the peg and set out to obey her orders
»You are asking too much« he said with unexpected coldness »If my
opinions are so valueless to you that you dismiss them like those of a
troublesome child I wonder you think it worth while to try and keep up
appearances about me It is very simple make known to everyone that you are in
no way connected with the disgrace I have brought upon myself Put an
advertisement in the newspapers to that effect if you like as men do about
their wives debts I have chosen my part I cant stultify myself to please
you«
She knew that this was final His voice had the true ring of shame in
revolt
»Then go your way and I will go mine«
Amy left the room
When Reardon went into the bedchamber an hour later he unfolded a chair
bedstead that stood there threw some rugs upon it and so lay down to pass the
night He did not close his eyes Amy slept for an hour or two before dawn and
on waking she started up and looked anxiously about the room But neither spoke
There was a pretence of ordinary breakfast the little servant necessitated
that When she saw her husband preparing to go out Amy asked him to come into
the study
»How long shall you be away« she asked curtly
»It is doubtful I am going to look for rooms«
»Then no doubt I shall be gone when you come back Theres no object now
in my staying here till tomorrow«
»As you please«
»Do you wish Lizzie still to come«
»No Please to pay her wages and dismiss her Here is some money«
»I think you had better let me see to that«
He flung the coin on to the table and opened the door Amy stepped quickly
forward and closed it again
»This is our goodbye is it« she asked her eyes on the ground
»As you wish it yes«
»You will remember that I have not wished it«
»In that case you have only to go with me to the new home«
»I cant«
»Then you have made your choice«
She did not prevent his opening the door this time and he passed out
without looking at her
His return was at three in the afternoon Amy and the child were gone the
servant was gone The table in the diningroom was spread as if for one persons
meal
He went into the bedroom Amys trunks had disappeared The childs cot was
covered over In the study he saw that the sovereign he had thrown on to the
table still lay in the same place
As it was a very cold day he lit a fire Whilst it burnt up he sat reading a
torn portion of a newspaper and became quite interested in the report of a
commercial meeting in the City a thing he would never have glanced at under
ordinary circumstances The fragment fell at length from his hands his head
drooped he sank into a troubled sleep
About six he had tea then began the packing of the few books that were to
go with him and of such other things as could be enclosed in box or
portmanteau After a couple of hours of this occupation he could no longer
resist his weariness so he went to bed Before falling asleep he heard the two
familiar clocks strike eight this evening they were in unusual accord and the
querulous notes from the workhouse sounded between the deeper ones from St
Marylebone Reardon tried to remember when he had last observed this the matter
seemed to have a peculiar interest for him and in dreams he worried himself
with a grotesque speculation thence derived
Chapter 18
The Old Home
Before her marriage Mrs Edmund Yule was one of seven motherless sisters who
constituted the family of a dentist slenderly provided in the matter of income
The pinching and paring which was a chief employment of her energies in those
early days had disagreeable effects upon a character disposed rather to
generosity than the reverse during her husbands lifetime she had enjoyed
rather too eagerly all the good things which he put at her command sometimes
forgetting that a wife has duties as well as claims and in her widowhood she
indulged a pretentiousness and querulousness which were the natural but not
amiable results of suddenly restricted circumstances
Like the majority of London people she occupied a house of which the rent
absurdly exceeded the due proportion of her income a pleasant foible turned to
such good account by London landlords Whereas she might have lived with a good
deal of modest comfort her existence was a perpetual effort to conceal the
squalid background of what was meant for the eyes of her friends and neighbours
She kept only two servants who were so ill paid and so relentlessly overworked
that it was seldom they remained with her for more than three months In
dealings with other people whom she perforce employed she was often guilty of
incredible meanness as for instance when she obliged her halfstarved
dressmaker to purchase material for her and then postponed payment alike for
that and for the work itself to the last possible moment This was not
heartlessness in the strict sense of the word the woman not only knew that her
behaviour was shameful she was in truth ashamed of it and sorry for her
victims But life was a battle She must either crush or be crushed With
sufficient means she would have defrauded no one and would have behaved
generously to many with barely enough for her needs she set her face and
defied her feelings inasmuch as she believed there was no choice
She would shed tears over a pitiful story of want and without shadow of
hypocrisy It was hard it was cruel such things oughtnt to be allowed in a
world where there were so many rich people The next day she would argue with
her charwoman about halfpence and end by paying the poor creature what she knew
was inadequate and unjust For the simplest reason she hadnt more to give
without submitting to privations which she considered intolerable
But whilst she could be a positive hyena to strangers to those who were
akin to her and those of whom she was fond her affectionate kindness was
remarkable One observes this peculiarity often enough it reminds one how
savage the social conflict is in which those little groups of people stand
serried against their common enemies relentless to all others among themselves
only the more tender and zealous because of the everimpending danger No mother
was ever more devoted Her son a gentleman of quite noteworthy selfishness had
board and lodging beneath her roof on nominal terms and under no stress of
pecuniary trouble had Mrs Yule called upon him to make the slightest sacrifice
on her behalf Her daughter she loved with profound tenderness and had no will
that was opposed to Amys And it was characteristic of her that her children
were never allowed to understand of what baseness she often became guilty in the
determination to support appearances John Yule naturally suspected what went on
behind the scenes on one occasion since Amys marriage he had involuntarily
overheard a dialogue between his mother and a servant on the point of departing
which made even him feel ashamed But from Amy every paltriness and meanness had
always been concealed with the utmost care Mrs Yule did not scruple to lie
heroically when in danger of being detected by her daughter
Yet this energetic lady had no social ambitions that pointed above her own
stratum She did not aim at intimacy with her superiors merely at superiority
among her intimates Her circle was not large but in that circle she must be
regarded with the respect due to a woman of refined tastes and personal
distinction Her little dinners might be of rare occurrence but to be invited
must be felt a privilege Mrs Edmund Yule must sound well on peoples lips never
be the occasion of those peculiar smiles which she herself was rather fond of
indulging at the mention of other peoples names
The question of Amys marriage had been her constant thought from the time
when the little girl shot into a woman grown For Amy no common match no
acceptance of a husband merely for money or position Few men who walked the
earth were mates for Amy But years went on and the man of undeniable
distinction did not yet present himself Suitors offered but Amy smiled coldly
at their addresses in private not seldom scornfully and her mother though
growing anxious approved Then of a sudden appeared Edwin Reardon
A literary man Well it was one mode of distinction Happily a novelist
novelists now and then had considerable social success Mr Reardon it was true
did not impress one as a man likely to push forward where the battle called for
rude vigour but Amy soon assured herself that he would have a reputation far
other than that of the average successful storyteller The best people would
regard him he would be welcomed in the penetralia of culture superior persons
would say »Oh I dont read novels as a rule but of course Mr Reardons « If
that really were to be the case all was well for Mrs Yule could appreciate
social and intellectual differences
Alas alas What was the end of those shining anticipations
First of all Mrs Yule began to make less frequent mention of »my
soninlaw Mr Edwin Reardon« Next she never uttered his name save when
inquiries necessitated it Then the most intimate of her intimates received
little hints which were not quite easy to interpret »Mr Reardon is growing so
very eccentric has an odd distaste for society occupies himself with all
sorts of outoftheway interests No Im afraid we shant have another of his
novels for some time I think he writes anonymously a good deal And really
such curious eccentricities« Many were the tears she wept after her depressing
colloquies with Amy and as was to be expected she thought severely of the
cause of these sorrows On the last occasion when he came to her house she
received him with such extreme civility that Reardon thenceforth disliked her
whereas before he had only thought her a goodnatured and silly woman
Alas for Amys marriage with a man of distinction From step to step of
descent till here was downright catastrophe Bitter enough in itself but most
lamentable with reference to the friends of the family How was it to be
explained this return of Amy to her home for several months whilst her husband
was no further away than Worthing The bald horrible truth impossible Yet Mr
Milvain knew it and the Carters must guess it What colour could be thrown upon
such vulgar distress
The worst was not yet It declared itself this May morning when quite
unexpectedly a cab drove up to the house bringing Amy and her child and her
trunks and her bandboxes and her whatnots From the diningroom window Mrs
Yule was aware of this arrival and in a few moments she learnt the unspeakable
cause
She burst into tears genuine as ever woman shed
»Theres no use in that mother« said Amy whose temper was in a dangerous
state »Nothing worse can happen thats one consolation«
»Oh its disgraceful disgraceful« sobbed Mrs Yule »What we are to say I
can not think«
»I shall say nothing whatever People can scarcely have the impertinence to
ask us questions when we have shown that they are unwelcome«
»But there are some people I cant help giving some explanation to My dear
child he is not in his right mind Im convinced of it there He is not in his
right mind«
»Thats nonsense mother He is as sane as I am«
»But you have often said what strange things he says and does you know you
have Amy That talking in his sleep Ive thought a great deal of it since you
told me about that And and so many other things My love I shall give it to
be understood that he has become so very odd in his ways that «
»I cant have that« replied Amy with decision »Dont you see that in that
case I should be behaving very badly«
»I cant see that at all There are many reasons as you know very well why
one shouldnt live with a husband who is at all suspected of mental derangement
You have done your utmost for him And this would be some sort of explanation
you know I am so convinced that there is truth in it too«
»Of course I cant prevent you from saying what you like but I think it
would be very wrong to start a rumour of this kind«
There was less resolve in this utterance Amy mused and looked wretched
»Come up to the drawingroom dear« said her mother for they had held
their conversation in the room nearest to the housedoor »What a state your
mind must be in Oh dear Oh dear«
She was a slender wellproportioned woman still pretty in face and
dressed in a way that emphasised her abiding charms Her voice had something of
plaintiveness and altogether she was of frailer type than her daughter
»Is my room ready« Amy inquired on the stairs
»Im sorry to say it isnt dear as I didnt expect you till tomorrow But
it shall be seen to immediately«
This addition to the household was destined to cause grave difficulties with
the domestic slaves But Mrs Yule would prove equal to the occasion On Amys
behalf she would have worked her servants till they perished of exhaustion
before her eyes
»Use my room for the present« she added »I think the girl has finished up
there But wait here Ill just go and see to things«
»Things« were not quite satisfactory as it proved You should have heard
the change that came in that sweetly plaintive voice when it addressed the
luckless housemaid It was not brutal not at all But so sharp hard
unrelenting the voice of the goddess Poverty herself perhaps sounds like that
Mad Was he to be spoken of in a low voice and with finger pointing to the
forehead There was something ridiculous as well as repugnant in such a
thought but it kept possession of Amys mind She was brooding upon it when her
mother came into the drawingroom
»And he positively refused to carry out the former plan«
»Refused Said it was useless«
»How could it be useless Theres something so unaccountable in his
behaviour«
»I dont think it unaccountable« replied Amy »Its weak and selfish
thats all He takes the first miserable employment that offers rather than face
the hard work of writing another book«
She was quite aware that this did not truly represent her husbands
position But an uneasiness of conscience impelled her to harsh speech
»But just fancy« exclaimed her mother »What can he mean by asking you to
go and live with him on twentyfive shillings a week Upon my word if his mind
isnt disordered he must have made a deliberate plan to get rid of you«
Amy shook her head
»You mean« asked Mrs Yule »that he really thinks it possible for all of
you to be supported on those wages«
The last word was chosen to express the utmost scorn
»He talked of earning fifty pounds a year by writing«
»Even then it could only make about a hundred a year My dear child its
one of two things either he is out of his mind or he has purposely cast you
off«
Amy laughed thinking of her husband in the light of the latter alternative
»Theres no need to seek so far for explanations« she said »He has failed
thats all just like a man might fail in any other business He cant write
like he used to It may be all the result of illhealth I dont know His last
book you see is positively refused He has made up his mind that theres
nothing but poverty before him and he cant understand why I should object to
live like the wife of a workingman«
»Well I only know that he has placed you in an exceedingly difficult
position If he had gone away to Worthing for the summer we might have made it
seem natural people are always ready to allow literary men to do rather odd
things up to a certain point We should have behaved as if there were nothing
that called for explanation But what are we to do now«
Like her multitudinous kind Mrs Yule lived only in the opinions of other
people What others would say was her ceaseless preoccupation She had never
conceived of life as something proper to the individual independence in the
directing of ones course seemed to her only possible in the case of very
eccentric persons or of such as were altogether out of society Amy had
advanced intellectually far beyond this standpoint but lack of courage
disabled her from acting upon her convictions
»People must know the truth I suppose« she answered dispiritedly
Now confession of the truth was the last thing that would occur to Mrs Yule
when social relations were concerned Her whole existence was based on bold
denial of actualities And as is natural in such persons she had the ostrich
instinct strongly developed though very acute in the discovery of her friends
shams and lies she deceived herself ludicrously in the matter of concealing her
own embarrassments
»But the fact is my dear« she answered »we dont know the truth
ourselves You had better let yourself be directed by me It will be better at
first if you see as few people as possible I suppose you must say something or
other to two or three of your own friends if you take my advice youll be
rather mysterious Let them think what they like anything is better than to say
plainly My husband cant support me and he has gone to work as a clerk for
weekly wages Be mysterious darling depend upon it thats the safest«
The conversation was pursued with brief intervals all through the day In
the afternoon two ladies paid a call but Amy kept out of sight Between six and
seven John Yule returned from his gentlemanly occupations As he was generally
in a touchy temper before dinner had soothed him nothing was said to him of the
latest developments of his sisters affairs until late in the evening he was
allowed to suppose that Reardons departure for the seaside had taken place a
day sooner than had been arranged
Behind the diningroom was a comfortable little chamber set apart as Johns
sanctum here he smoked and entertained his male friends and contemplated the
portraits of those female ones who would not have been altogether at their ease
in Mrs Yules drawingroom Not long after dinner his mother and sister came to
talk with him in this retreat
With some nervousness Mrs Yule made known to him what had taken place Amy
the while stood by the table and glanced over a magazine that she had picked
up
»Well I see nothing to be surprised at« was Johns first remark »It was
pretty certain hed come to this But what I want to know is how long are we to
be at the expense of supporting Amy and her youngster«
This was practical and just what Mrs Yule had expected from her son
»We cant consider such things as that« she replied »You dont wish I
suppose that Amy should go and live in a back street at Islington and be
hungry every other day and soon have no decent clothes«
»I dont think Jack would be greatly distressed« Amy put in quietly
»This is a womans way of talking« replied John »I want to know what is to
be the end of it all Ive no doubt its uncommonly pleasant for Reardon to
shift his responsibilities on to our shoulders At this rate I think I shall get
married and live beyond my means until I can hold out no longer and then hand
my wife over to her relatives with my compliments Its about the coolest
business that ever came under my notice«
»But what is to be done« asked Mrs Yule »Its no use talking
sarcastically John or making yourself disagreeable«
»We are not called upon to find a way out of the difficulty The fact of the
matter is Reardon must get a decent berth Somebody or other must pitch him
into the kind of place that suits men who can do nothing in particular Carter
ought to be able to help I should think«
»You know very well« said Amy »that places of that kind are not to be had
for the asking It may be years before any such opportunity offers«
»Confound the fellow Why the deuce doesnt he go on with his novelwriting
Theres plenty of money to be made out of novels«
»But he cant write Jack He has lost his talent«
»Thats all bosh Amy If a fellow has once got into the swing of it he can
keep it up if he likes He might write his two novels a year easily enough just
like twenty other men and women Look here I could do it myself if I werent
too lazy And thats whats the matter with Reardon He doesnt care to work«
»I have thought that myself« observed Mrs Yule »It really is too
ridiculous to say that he couldnt write some kind of novels if he chose Look
at Miss Blunts last book why anybody could have written that Im sure there
isnt a thing in it I couldnt have imagined myself«
»Well all I want to know is whats Amy going to do if things dont alter«
»She shall never want a home as long as I have one to share with her«
Johns natural procedure when beset by difficulties was to find fault with
everyone all round himself maintaining a position of irresponsibility
»Its all very well mother but when a girl gets married she takes her
husband I have always understood for better or worse just as a man takes his
wife To tell the truth it seems to me Amy has put herself in the wrong Its
deuced unpleasant to go and live in back streets and to go without dinner now
and then but girls mustnt marry if theyre afraid to face these things«
»Dont talk so monstrously John« exclaimed his mother »How could Amy
possibly foresee such things The case is quite an extraordinary one«
»Not so uncommon I assure you Some one was telling me the other day of a
married lady well educated and blameless who goes to work at a shop
somewhere or other because her husband cant support her«
»And you wish to see Amy working in a shop«
»No I cant say I do Im only telling you that her bad luck isnt
unexampled Its very fortunate for her that she has goodnatured relatives«
Amy had taken a seat apart She sat with her head leaning on her hand
»Why dont you go and see Reardon« John asked of his mother
»What would be the use Perhaps he would tell me to mind my own business«
»By jingo precisely what you would be doing I think you ought to see him
and give him to understand that hes behaving in a confoundedly ungentlemanly
way Evidently hes the kind of fellow that wants stirring up Ive half a mind
to go and see him myself Where is this slum that hes gone to live in«
»We dont know his address yet«
»So long as its not the kind of place where one would be afraid of catching
a fever I think it wouldnt be amiss for me to look him up«
»Youll do no good by that« said Amy indifferently
»Confound it Its just because nobody does anything that things have come
to this pass«
The conversation was of course profitless John could only return again
and again to his assertion that Reardon must get »a decent berth« At length Amy
left the room in weariness and disgust
»I suppose they have quarrelled terrifically« said her brother as soon as
she was gone
»I am afraid so«
»Well you must do as you please But its confounded hard lines that you
should have to keep her and the kid You know I cant afford to contribute«
»My dear I havent asked you to«
»No but youll have the devils own job to make ends meet I know that well
enough«
»I shall manage somehow«
»All right youre a plucky woman but its too bad Reardons a humbug
thats my opinion I shall have a talk with Carter about him I suppose he has
transferred all their furniture to the slum«
»He cant have removed yet It was only this morning that he went to search
for lodgings«
»Oh then I tell you what it is I shall look in there the first thing
tomorrow morning and just talk to him in a fatherly way You neednt say
anything to Amy But I see hes just the kind of fellow that if everyone leaves
him alone hell be content with Carters fiveandtwenty shillings for the rest
of his life and never trouble his head about how Amy is living«
To this proposal Mrs Yule readily assented On going upstairs she found that
Amy had all but fallen asleep upon a settee in the drawingroom
»You are quite worn out with your troubles« she said »Go to bed and have
a good long sleep«
»Yes I will«
The neat fresh bedchamber seemed to Amy a delightful haven of rest She
turned the key in the door with an enjoyment of the privacy thus secured such as
she had never known in her life for in maidenhood safe solitude was a matter of
course to her and since marriage she had not passed a night alone Willie was
fast asleep in a little bed shadowed by her own In an impulse of maternal love
and gladness she bent over the child and covered his face with kisses too gentle
to awaken him
How clean and sweet everything was It is often said by people who are
exquisitely ignorant of the matter that cleanliness is a luxury within reach
even of the poorest Very far from that only with the utmost difficulty with
wearisome exertion with harassing sacrifice can people who are pinched for
money preserve a moderate purity in their persons and their surroundings By
painful degrees Amy had accustomed herself to compromises in this particular
which in the early days of her married life would have seemed intensely
disagreeable if not revolting A housewife who lives in the country and has
but a patch of back garden or even a goodsized kitchen can if she thinks
fit take her place at the washtub and relieve her mind on laundry matters but
to the inhabitant of a miniature flat in the heart of London anything of that
kind is out of the question When Amy began to cut down her laundresss bill
she did it with a sense of degradation One grows accustomed however to such
unpleasant necessities and already she had learnt what was the minimum of
expenditure for one who is troubled with a ladys instincts
No no cleanliness is a costly thing and a troublesome thing when
appliances and means have to be improvised It was in part the understanding
she had gained of this side of the life of poverty that made Amy shrink in dread
from the still narrower lodgings to which Reardon invited her She knew how
subtly ones selfrespect can be undermined by sordid conditions The difference
between the life of welltodo educated people and that of the uneducated poor
is not greater in visible details than in the minutiæ of privacy and Amy must
have submitted to an extraordinary change before it would have been possible for
her to live at ease in the circumstances which satisfy a decent workingclass
woman She was prepared for final parting from her husband rather than try to
effect that change in herself
She undressed at leisure and stretched her limbs in the cold soft
fragrant bed A sigh of profound relief escaped her How good it was to be
alone
And in a quarter of an hour she was sleeping as peacefully as the child who
shared her room
At breakfast in the morning she showed a bright almost a happy face It was
long long since she had enjoyed such a nights rest so undisturbed with
unwelcome thoughts on the threshold of sleep and on awaking Her life was
perhaps wrecked but the thought of that did not press upon her for the present
she must enjoy her freedom It was like a recovery of girlhood There are few
married women who would not sooner or later accept with joy the offer of some
months of a maidenly liberty Amy would not allow herself to think that her
wedded life was at an end With a womans strange faculty of closing her eyes
against facts that do not immediately concern her she tasted the relief of the
present and let the future lie unregarded Reardon would get out of his
difficulties sooner or later somebody or other would help him that was the dim
background of her agreeable sensations
He suffered no doubt But then it was just as well that he should
Suffering would perhaps impel him to effort When he communicated to her his new
address he could scarcely neglect to do that she would send a not unfriendly
letter and hint to him that now was his opportunity for writing a book as good
a book as those which formerly issued from his garretsolitude If he found that
literature was in truth a thing of the past with him then he must exert himself
to obtain a position worthy of an educated man Yes in this way she would write
to him without a word that could hurt or offend
She ate an excellent breakfast and made known her enjoyment of it
»I am so glad« replied her mother »You have been getting quite thin and
pale«
»Quite consumptive« remarked John looking up from his newspaper »Shall I
make arrangements for a daily landau at the livery stables round here«
»You can if you like« replied his sister »it would do both mother and me
good and I have no doubt you could afford it quite well«
»Oh indeed Youre a remarkable young woman let me tell you Bytheby I
suppose your husband is breakfasting on bread and water«
»I hope not and I dont think it very likely«
»Jack Jack« interposed Mrs Yule softly
Her son resumed his paper and at the end of the meal rose with an unwonted
briskness to make his preparations for departure
Chapter 19
The Past Revived
Nor would it be true to represent Edwin Reardon as rising to the new day wholly
disconsolate He too had slept unusually well and with returning consciousness
the sense of a burden removed was more instant than that of his loss and all the
dreary circumstances attaching to it He had no longer to fear the effects upon
Amy of such a grievous change as from their homelike flat to the couple of
rooms he had taken in Islington for the moment this relief helped him to bear
the pain of all that had happened and the uneasiness which troubled him when he
reflected that his wife was henceforth a charge to her mother
Of course for the moment only He had no sooner begun to move about to
prepare his breakfast amid the relics of last evenings meal to think of all
the detestable work he had to do before tomorrow night than his heart sank
again His position was well nigh as dolorous as that of any man who awoke that
morning to the brutal realities of life If only for the shame of it How must
they be speaking of him Amys relatives and her friends A novelist who
couldnt write novels a husband who couldnt support his wife and child a
literate who made eager application for illiterate work at paltry wages how
interesting it would all sound in humorous gossip And what hope had he that
things would ever be better with him
Had he done well Had he done wisely Would it not have been better to have
made that one last effort There came before him a vision of quiet nooks beneath
the Sussex cliffs of the long lines of green breakers bursting into foam he
heard the wavemusic and tasted the briny freshness of the seabreeze
Inspiration after all would perchance have come to him
If Amys love had but been of more enduring quality if she had strengthened
him for this last endeavour with the brave tenderness of an ideal wife But he
had seen such hateful things in her eyes Her love was dead and she regarded
him as the man who had spoilt her hopes of happiness It was only for her own
sake that she urged him to strive on let his be the toil that hers might be
the advantage if he succeeded
»She would be glad if I were dead She would be glad«
He had the conviction of it Oh yes she would shed tears they come so
easily to women But to have him dead and out of her way to be saved from her
anomalous position to see once more a chance in life she would welcome it
But there was no time for brooding Today he had to sell all the things
that were superfluous and to make arrangements for the removal of his effects
tomorrow By Wednesday night in accordance with his agreement the flat must
be free for the new occupier
He had taken only two rooms and fortunately as things were Three would
have cost more than he was likely to be able to afford for a long time The rent
of the two was to be sixand sixpence and how if Amy had consented to come
could he have met the expenses of their living out of his weekly twentyfive
shillings How could he have pretended to do literary work in such cramped
quarters he who had never been able to write a line save in strict seclusion
In his despair he had faced the impossible Amy had shown more wisdom though in
a spirit of unkindness
Towards ten oclock he was leaving the flat to go and find people who would
purchase his books and old clothing and other superfluities but before he could
close the door behind him an approaching step on the stairs caught his
attention He saw the shining silk hat of a wellequipped gentleman It was John
Yule
»Ha Goodmorning« John exclaimed looking up »A minute or two and I
should have been too late I see«
He spoke in quite a friendly way and on reaching the landing shook hands
»Are you obliged to go at once Or could I have a word with you«
»Come in«
They entered the study which was in some disorder Reardon made no
reference to circumstances but offered a chair and seated himself
»Have a cigarette« said Yule holding out a box of them
»No thank you I dont smoke so early«
»Then Ill light one myself it always makes talk easier to me Youre on
the point of moving I suppose«
»Yes I am«
Reardon tried to speak in quite a simple way with no admission of
embarrassment He was not successful and to his visitor the tone seemed rather
offensive
»I suppose youll let Amy know your new address«
»Certainly Why should I conceal it«
»No no I didnt mean to suggest that But you might be taking it for
granted that that the rupture was final I thought«
There had never been any intimacy between these two men Reardon regarded
his wifes brother as rather snobbish and disagreeably selfish John Yule looked
upon the novelist as a prig and now of late as a shuffling untrustworthy
fellow It appeared to John that his brotherinlaw was assuming a manner wholly
unjustifiable and he had a difficulty in behaving to him with courtesy
Reardon on the other hand felt injured by the turn his visitors remarks were
taking and began to resent the visit altogether
»I take nothing for granted« he said coldly »But Im afraid nothing is to
be gained by a discussion of our difficulties The time for that is over«
»I cant quite see that It seems to me that the time has just come«
»Please tell me to begin with do you come on Amys behalf«
»In a way yes She hasnt sent me but my mother and I are so astonished at
what is happening that it was necessary for one or other of us to see you«
»I think it is all between Amy and myself«
»Difficulties between husband and wife are generally best left to the people
themselves I know But the fact is there are peculiar circumstances in the
present case It cant be necessary for me to explain further«
Reardon could find no suitable words of reply He understood what Yule
referred to and began to feel the full extent of his humiliation
»You mean of course « he began but his tongue failed him
»Well we should really like to know how long it is proposed that Amy shall
remain with her mother«
John was perfectly selfpossessed it took much to disturb his equanimity
He smoked his cigarette which was in an amber mouthpiece and seemed to enjoy
its flavour Reardon found himself observing the perfection of the young mans
boots and trousers
»That depends entirely on my wife herself« he replied mechanically
»How so«
»I offer her the best home I can«
Reardon felt himself a poor pitiful creature and hated the welldressed
man who made him feel so
»But really Reardon« began the other uncrossing and recrossing his legs
»do you tell me in seriousness that you expect Amy to live in such lodgings as
you can afford on a pound a week«
»I dont I said that I had offered her the best home I could I know its
impossible of course«
Either he must speak thus or break into senseless wrath It was hard to
hold back the angry words that were on his lips but he succeeded and he was
glad he had done so
»Then it doesnt depend on Amy« said John
»I suppose not«
»You see no reason then why she shouldnt live as at present for an
indefinite time«
To John whose perspicacity was not remarkable Reardons changed tone
conveyed simply an impression of bland impudence He eyed his brotherinlaw
rather haughtily
»I can only say« returned the other who was become wearily indifferent
»that as soon as I can afford a decent home I shall give my wife the opportunity
of returning to me«
»But pray when is that likely to be«
John had passed the bounds his manner was too frankly contemptuous
»I see no right you have to examine me in this fashion« Reardon exclaimed
»With Mrs Yule I should have done my best to be patient if she had asked these
questions but you are not justified in putting them at all events not in this
way«
»Im very sorry you speak like this Reardon« said the other with calm
insolence »It confirms unpleasant ideas you know«
»What do you mean«
»Why one cant help thinking that you are rather too much at your ease
under the circumstances It isnt exactly an everyday thing you know for a
mans wife to be sent back to her own people «
Reardon could not endure the sound of these words He interrupted hotly
»I cant discuss it with you You are utterly unable to comprehend me and my
position utterly It would be useless to defend myself You must take whatever
view seems to you the natural one«
John having finished his cigarette rose
»The natural view is an uncommonly disagreeable one« he said »However I
have no intention of quarrelling with you Ill only just say that as I take a
share in the expenses of my mothers house this question decidedly concerns me
and Ill add that I think it ought to concern you a good deal more than it seems
to«
Reardon ashamed already of his violence paused upon these remarks
»It shall« he uttered at length coldly »You have put it clearly enough to
me and you shant have spoken in vain Is there anything else you wish to say«
»Thank you I think not«
They parted with distant civility and Reardon closed the door behind his
visitor
He knew that his character was seen through a distorting medium by Amys
relatives to some extent by Amy herself but hitherto the reflection that this
must always be the case when a man of his kind is judged by people of the world
had strengthened him in defiance An endeavour to explain himself would be
maddeningly hopeless even Amy did not understand aright the troubles through
which his intellectual and moral nature was passing and to speak of such
experiences to Mrs Yule or to John would be equivalent to addressing them in
alien tongues he and they had no common criterion by reference to which he
could make himself intelligible The practical tone in which John had explained
the opposing view of the situation made it impossible for him to proceed as he
had purposed Amy would never come to him in his poor lodgings her mother her
brother all her advisers would regard such a thing as out of the question Very
well recognising this he must also recognise his wifes claim upon him for
material support It was not in his power to supply her with means sufficient to
live upon but what he could afford she should have
When he went out it was with a different purpose from that of half an hour
ago After a short search in the direction of Edgware Road he found a dealer in
secondhand furniture whom he requested to come as soon as possible to the flat
on a matter of business An hour later the man kept his appointment Having
brought him into the study Reardon said
»I wish to sell everything in this flat with a few exceptions that Ill
point out to you«
»Very good sir« was the reply »Lets have a look through the rooms«
That the price offered would be strictly a minimum Reardon knew well enough
The dealer was a rough and rather dirty fellow with the distrustful glance
which distinguishes his class Men of Reardons type when hapless enough to be
forced into vulgar commerce are doubly at a disadvantage not only their
ignorance but their sensitiveness makes them ready victims of even the least
subtle man of business To deal on equal terms with a person you must be able to
assert with calm confidence that you are not to be cheated Reardon was too well
aware that he would certainly be cheated and shrank scornfully from the
higgling of the market Moreover he was in a halffrenzied state of mind and
cared for little but to be done with the hateful details of this process of
ruin
He pencilled a list of the articles he must retain for his own use it would
of course be cheaper to take a bare room than furnished lodgings and every
penny he could save was of importance to him The chairbedstead with necessary
linen and blankets a table two chairs a lookingglass strictly the
indispensable things no need to complete the list Then there were a few
valuable weddingpresents which belonged rather to Amy than to him these he
would get packed and send to Westbourne Park
The dealer made his calculation with many sideglances at the vendor
»And what may you ask for the lot«
»Please to make an offer«
»Most of the things has had a good deal of wear «
»I know I know Just let me hear what you will give«
»Well if you want a valuation I say eighteen pound ten«
It was more than Reardon had expected though much less than a man who
understood such affairs would have obtained
»Thats the most you can give«
»Wouldnt pay me to give a sixpence more You see «
He began to point out defects but Reardon cut him short
»Can you take them away at once«
»At wunst Would two oclock do«
»Yes it would«
»And might you want these other things takin anywheres«
»Yes but not till tomorrow They have to go to Islington What would you
do it for«
This bargain also was completed and the dealer went his way Thereupon
Reardon set to work to dispose of his books by halfpast one he had sold them
for a couple of guineas At two came the cart that was to take away the
furniture and at four oclock nothing remained in the flat save what had to be
removed on the morrow
The next thing to be done was to go to Islington forfeit a weeks rent for
the two rooms he had taken and find a single room at the lowest possible cost
On the way he entered an eatinghouse and satisfied his hunger for he had had
nothing since breakfast It took him a couple of hours to discover the ideal
garret it was found at length in a narrow little byway running out of Upper
Street The rent was half a crown a week
At seven oclock he sat down in what once was called his study and wrote
the following letter
»Enclosed in this envelope you will find twenty pounds I have been
reminded that your relatives will be at the expense of your support it
seemed best to me to sell the furniture and now I send you all the
money I can spare at present You will receive tomorrow a box
containing several things I did not feel justified in selling As soon
as I begin to have my payment from Carter half of it shall be sent to
you every week My address is 5 Manville Street Upper Street
Islington
EDWIN REARDON«
He enclosed the money in notes and gold and addressed the envelope to his
wife She must receive it this very night and he knew not how to insure that
save by delivering it himself So he went to Westbourne Park by train and
walked to Mrs Yules house At this hour the family were probably at dinner
yes the window of the diningroom showed lights within whilst those of the
drawingroom were in shadow After a little hesitation he rang the servants
bell When the door opened he handed his letter to the girl and requested that
it might be given to Mrs Reardon as soon as possible With one more hasty glance
at the window Amy was perhaps enjoying her unwonted comfort he walked
quickly away
As he reentered what had been his home its bareness made his heart sink
An hour or two had sufficed for this devastation nothing remained upon the
uncarpeted floors but the needments he would carry with him into the wilderness
such few evidences of civilisation as the poorest cannot well dispense with
Anger revolt a sense of outraged love all manner of confused passions had
sustained him throughout this day of toil now he had leisure to know how faint
he was He threw himself upon his chairbedstead and lay for more than an hour
in torpor of body and mind
But before he could sleep he must eat Though it was cold he could not
exert himself to light a fire there was some food still in the cupboard and he
consumed it in the fashion of a tired labourer with the plate on his lap using
his fingers and a knife What had he to do with delicacies
He felt utterly alone in the world Unless it were Biffen what mortal would
give him kindly welcome under any roof These stripped rooms were symbolical of
his life losing money he had lost everything »Be thankful that you exist
that these morsels of food are still granted you Man has a right to nothing in
this world that he cannot pay for Did you imagine that love was an exception
Foolish idealist Love is one of the first things to be frightened away by
poverty Go and live upon your twelve and sixpence a week and on your memories
of the past«
In this room he had sat with Amy on their return from the wedding holiday
»Shall you always love me as you do now« »For ever for ever« »Even if I
disappointed you If I failed« »How could that affect my love« The voices
seemed to be lingering still in a sad faint echo so short a time it was since
those words were uttered
His own fault A man has no business to fail least of all can he expect
others to have time to look back upon him or pity him if he sink under the
stress of conflict Those behind will trample over his body they cant help it
they themselves are borne onwards by resistless pressure
He slept for a few hours then lay watching the light of dawn as it revealed
his desolation
The mornings post brought him a large heavy envelope the aspect of which
for a moment puzzled him But he recognised the handwriting and understood The
editor of The Wayside in a pleasantlywritten note begged to return the paper
on Plinys letters which had recently been submitted to him he was sorry it did
not strike him as quite so interesting as the other contributions from Reardons
pen
This was a trifle For the first time he received a rejected piece of
writing without distress he even laughed at the artistic completeness of the
situation The money would have been welcome but on that very account he might
have known it would not come
The cart that was to transfer his property to the room in Islington arrived
about midday By that time he had dismissed the last details of business in
relation to the flat and was free to go back to the obscure world whence he had
risen He felt that for two years and a half he had been a pretender It was not
natural to him to live in the manner of people who enjoy an assured income he
belonged to the class of casual wageearners Back to obscurity
Carrying a bag which contained a few things best kept in his own care he
went by train to Kings Cross and thence walked up Pentonville Hill to Upper
Street and his own little byway Manville Street was not unreasonably squalid
the house in which he had found a home was not alarming in its appearance and
the woman who kept it had an honest face Amy would have shrunk in apprehension
but to one who had experience of London garrets this was a rather favourable
specimen of its kind The door closed more satisfactorily than poor Biffens
for instance and there were not many of those knotholes in the floor which
gave admission to piercing little draughts not a pane of the window was
cracked not one A man might live here comfortably could memory be destroyed
»Theres a letter come for you« said the landlady as she admitted him
»Youll find it on your mantel«
He ascended hastily The letter must be from Amy as no one else knew his
address Yes and its contents were these
»As you have really sold the furniture I shall accept half this money
that you send I must buy clothing for myself and Willie But the other
ten pounds I shall return to you as soon as possible As for your offer
of half what you are to receive from Mr Carter that seems to me
ridiculous in any case I cannot take it If you seriously abandon all
further hope from literature I think it is your duty to make every
effort to obtain a position suitable to a man of your education
AMY REARDON«
Doubtless Amy thought it was her duty to write in this way Not a word of
sympathy he must understand that no one was to blame but himself and that her
hardships were equal to his own
In the bag he had brought with him there were writing materials Standing at
the mantelpiece he forthwith penned a reply to this letter
»The money is for your support as far as it will go If it comes back
to me I shall send it again If you refuse to make use of it you will
have the kindness to put it aside and consider it as belonging to
Willie The other money of which I spoke will be sent to you once a
month As our concerns are no longer between us alone I must protect
myself against anyone who would be likely to accuse me of not giving you
what I could afford For your advice I thank you but remember that in
withdrawing from me your affection you have lost all right to offer me
counsel«
He went out and posted this at once
By three oclock the furniture of his room was arranged He had not kept a
carpet that was luxury and beyond his due His score of volumes must rank upon
the mantelpiece his clothing must be kept in the trunk Cups plates knives
forks and spoons would lie in the little open cupboard the lowest section of
which was for his supply of coals When everything was in order he drew water
from a tap on the landing and washed himself then with his bag went out to
make purchases A loaf of bread butter sugar condensed milk a remnant of tea
he had brought with him On returning he lit as small a fire as possible put
on his kettle and sat down to meditate
How familiar it all was to him And not unpleasant for it brought back the
days when he had worked to such good purpose It was like a restoration of
youth
Of Amy he would not think Knowing his bitter misery she could write to him
in cold hard words without a touch even of womanly feeling If ever they were
to meet again the advance must be from her side He had no more tenderness for
her until she strove to revive it
Next morning he called at the hospital to see Carter The secretarys
peculiar look and smile seemed to betray a knowledge of what had been going on
since Sunday and his first words confirmed this impression of Reardons
»You have removed I hear«
»Yes I had better give you my new address«
Reardons tone was meant to signify that further remark on the subject would
be unwelcome Musingly Carter made a note of the address
»You still wish to go on with this affair«
»Certainly«
»Come and have some lunch with me then and afterwards well go to the City
Road and talk things over on the spot«
The vivacious young man was not quite so genial as of wont but he evidently
strove to show that the renewal of their relations as employer and clerk would
make no difference in the friendly intercourse which had since been established
the invitation to lunch evidently had this purpose
»I suppose« said Carter when they were seated in a restaurant »you
wouldnt object to anything better if a chance turned up«
»I should take it to be sure«
»But you dont want a job that would occupy all your time Youre going on
with writing of course«
»Not for the present I think«
»Then you would like me to keep a lookout I havent anything in view
nothing whatever But one hears of things sometimes«
»I should be obliged to you if you could help me to anything satisfactory«
Having brought himself to this admission Reardon felt more at ease To what
purpose should he keep up transparent pretences It was manifestly his duty to
earn as much money as he could in whatever way Let the man of letters be
forgotten he was seeking for remunerative employment just as if he had never
written a line
Amy did not return the ten pounds and did not write again So presumably
she would accept the moiety of his earnings he was glad of it After paying
half a crown for rent there would be left ten shillings Something like three
pounds that still remained to him he would not reckon this must be for
casualties Half a sovereign was enough for his needs in the old times he had
counted it a competency which put his mind quite at rest
The day came and he entered upon his duties in City Road It needed but an
hour or two and all the intervening time was cancelled he was back once more
in the days of no reputation a harmless clerk a decent wageearner
Chapter 20
The End of Waiting
It was more than a fortnight after Reardons removal to Islington when Jasper
Milvain heard for the first time of what had happened He was coming down from
the office of the WillotheWisp one afternoon after a talk with the editor
concerning a paragraph in his last weeks causerie which had been complained of
as libellous and which would probably lead to the case so much desired by
everyone connected with the paper when someone descending from a higher storey
of the building overtook him and laid a hand on his shoulder He turned and saw
Whelpdale
»What brings you on these premises« he asked as they shook hands
»A man I know has just been made subeditor of Chat upstairs He has half
promised to let me do a column of answers to correspondents«
»Cosmetics Fashions Cookery«
»Im not so versatile as all that unfortunately No the general
information column Will you be so good as to inform me through the medium of
your invaluable paper what was the exact area devastated by the Great Fire of
London that kind of thing you know Hopburn thats the fellows name
tells me that his predecessor always called the paper Chatmoss because of the
frightful difficulty he had in filling it up each week Bytheby what a
capital column that is of yours in WillotheWisp I know nothing like it in
English journalism upon my word I dont«
»Glad you like it Some people are less fervent in their admiration«
Jasper recounted the affair which had just been under discussion in the
office
»It may cost a couple of thousands but the advertisement is worth that
Patwin thinks Barlow is delighted he wouldnt mind paying double the money to
make those people a laughingstock for a week or two«
They issued into the street and walked on together Milvain with his keen
eye and critical smile unmistakably the modern young man who cultivates the art
of success his companion of a less pronounced type but distinguished by a
certain subtlety of countenance a blending of the sentimental and the shrewd
»Of course you know all about the Reardons« said Whelpdale
»Havent seen or heard of them lately What is it«
»Then you dont know that they have parted«
»Parted«
»I only heard about it last night Biffen told me Reardon is doing clerks
work at a hospital somewhere in the Eastend and his wife has gone to live at
her mothers house«
»Ho ho« exclaimed Jasper thoughtfully »Then the crash has come Of
course I knew it must be impending Im sorry for Reardon«
»Im sorry for his wife«
»Trust you for thinking of women first Whelpdale«
»Its in an honourable way my dear fellow Im a slave to women true but
all in an honourable way After that last adventure of mine most men would be
savage and cynical wouldnt they now Im nothing of the kind I think no worse
of women not a bit I reverence them as much as ever There must be a good
deal of magnanimity in me dont you think«
Jasper laughed unrestrainedly
»But its the simple truth« pursued the other »You should have seen the
letter I wrote to that girl at Birmingham all charity and forgiveness I meant
it every word of it I shouldnt talk to everyone like this you know but its
as well to show a friend ones best qualities now and then«
»Is Reardon still living at the old place«
»No no They sold up everything and let the flat Hes in lodgings
somewhere or other Im not quite intimate enough with him to go and see him
under the circumstances But Im surprised you know nothing about it«
»I havent seen much of them this year Reardon well Im afraid he hasnt
very much of the virtue you claim for yourself It rather annoys him to see me
going ahead«
»Really His character never struck me in that way«
»You havent come enough in contact with him At all events I cant explain
his change of manner in any other way But Im sorry for him I am indeed At a
hospital I suppose Carter has given him the old job again«
»Dont know Biffen doesnt talk very freely about it theres a good deal
of delicacy in Biffen you know A thoroughly goodhearted fellow And so is
Reardon I believe though no doubt he has his weaknesses«
»Oh an excellent fellow But weakness isnt the word Why I foresaw all
this from the very beginning The first hours talk I ever had with him was
enough to convince me that hed never hold his own But he really believed that
the future was clear before him he imagined hed go on getting more and more
for his books An extraordinary thing that that girl had such faith in him«
They parted soon after this and Milvain went homeward musing upon what he
had heard It was his purpose to spend the whole evening on some work which
pressed for completion but he found an unusual difficulty in settling to it
About eight oclock he gave up the effort arrayed himself in the costume of
black and white and journeyed to Westbourne Park where his destination was the
house of Mrs Edmund Yule Of the servant who opened to him he inquired if Mrs
Yule was at home and received an answer in the affirmative
»Any company with her«
»A lady Mrs Carter«
»Then please to give my name and ask if Mrs Yule can see me«
He was speedily conducted to the drawingroom where he found the lady of
the house her son and Mrs Carter For Mrs Reardon his eye sought in vain
»Im so glad you have come« said Mrs Yule in a confidential tone »I have
been wishing to see you Of course you know of our sad trouble«
»I have heard of it only today«
»From Mr Reardon himself«
»No I havent seen him«
»I do wish you had We should have been so anxious to know how he impressed
you«
»How he impressed me«
»My mother has got hold of the notion,« put in John Yule »that hes not
exactly compos mentis Ill admit that he went on in a queer sort of way the
last time I saw him«
»And my husband thinks he is rather strange« remarked Mrs Carter
»He has gone back to the hospital I understand «
»To a new branch that has just been opened in the City Road« replied Mrs
Yule »And hes living in a dreadful place one of the most shocking alleys in
the worst part of Islington I should have gone to see him but I really feel
afraid they give me such an account of the place And everyone agrees that he
has such a very wild look and speaks so strangely«
»Between ourselves« said John »theres no use in exaggerating Hes living
in a vile hole thats true and Carter says he looks miserably ill but of
course he may be as sane as we are«
Jasper listened to all this with no small astonishment
»And Mrs Reardon« he asked
»Im sorry to say she is far from well« replied Mrs Yule »Today she has
been obliged to keep her room You can imagine what a shock it has been to her
It came with such extraordinary suddenness Without a word of warning her
husband announced that he had taken a clerkship and was going to remove
immediately to the Eastend Fancy And this when he had already arranged as
you know to go to the south coast and write his next book under the influences
of the sea air He was anything but well we all knew that and we had all
joined in advising him to spend the summer at the seaside It seemed better that
he should go alone Mrs Reardon would of course have gone down for a few days
now and then And at a moments notice everything is changed and in such a
dreadful way I cannot believe that this is the behaviour of a sane man«
Jasper understood that an explanation of the matter might have been given in
much more homely terms it was natural that Mrs Yule should leave out of sight
the sufficient but ignoble cause of her soninlaws behaviour
»You see in what a painful position we are placed« continued the
euphemistic lady »It is so terrible even to hint that Mr Reardon is not
responsible for his actions yet how are we to explain to our friends this
extraordinary state of things«
»My husband is afraid Mr Reardon may fall seriously ill« said Mrs Carter
»And how dreadful In such a place as that«
»It would be so kind of you to go and see him Mr Milvain« urged Mrs Yule
»We should be so glad to hear what you think«
»Certainly I will go« replied Jasper »Will you give me his address«
He remained for an hour and before his departure the subject was discussed
with rather more frankness than at first even the word money was once or twice
heard
»Mr Carter has very kindly promised« said Mrs Yule »to do his best to hear
of some position that would be suitable It seems a most shocking thing that a
successful author should abandon his career in this deliberate way who could
have imagined anything of the kind two years ago But it is clearly quite
impossible for him to go on as at present if there is really no reason for
believing his mind disordered«
A cab was summoned for Mrs Carter and she took her leave suppressing her
native cheerfulness to the tone of the occasion A minute or two after Milvain
left the house
He had walked perhaps twenty yards almost to the end of the silent street
in which his friends house was situated when a man came round the corner and
approached him At once he recognised the figure and in a moment he was face to
face with Reardon Both stopped Jasper held out his hand but the other did not
seem to notice it
»You are coming from Mrs Yules« said Reardon with a strange smile
By the gaslight his face showed pale and sunken and he met Jaspers look
with fixedness
»Yes I am The fact is I went there to hear of your address Why havent
you let me know about all this«
»You went to the flat«
»No I was told about you by Whelpdale«
Reardon turned in the direction whence he had come and began to walk
slowly Jasper kept beside him
»Im afraid theres something amiss between us Reardon« said the latter
just glancing at his companion
»Theres something amiss between me and everyone« was the reply in an
unnatural voice
»You look at things too gloomily Am I detaining you bytheby You were
going «
»Nowhere«
»Then come to my rooms and let us see if we cant talk more in the old
way«
»Your old way of talk isnt much to my taste Milvain It has cost me too
much«
Jasper gazed at him Was there some foundation for Mrs Yules seeming
extravagance This reply sounded so meaningless and so unlike Reardons manner
of speech that the younger man experienced a sudden alarm
»Cost you too much I dont understand you«
They had turned into a broader thoroughfare which however was little
frequented at this hour Reardon his hands thrust into the pockets of a shabby
overcoat and his head bent forward went on at a slow pace observant of
nothing For a moment or two he delayed reply then said in an unsteady voice
»Your way of talking has always been to glorify success to insist upon it
as the one end a man ought to keep in view If you had talked so to me alone it
wouldnt have mattered But there was generally someone else present Your words
had their effect I can see that now Its very much owing to you that I am
deserted now that theres no hope of my ever succeeding«
Jaspers first impulse was to meet this accusation with indignant denial
but a sense of compassion prevailed It was so painful to see the defeated man
wandering at night near the house where his wife and child were comfortably
sheltered and the tone in which he spoke revealed such profound misery
»Thats a most astonishing thing to say« Jasper replied »Of course I know
nothing of what has passed between you and your wife but I feel certain that I
have no more to do with what has happened than any other of your acquaintances«
»You may feel as certain as you will but your words and your example have
influenced my wife against me You didnt intend that I dont suppose it for a
moment Its my misfortune thats all«
»That I intended nothing of the kind you need hardly say I should think
But you are deceiving yourself in the strangest way Im afraid to speak
plainly Im afraid of offending you But can you recall something that I said
about the time of your marriage You didnt like it then and certainly it wont
be pleasant to you to remember it now If you mean that your wife has grown
unkind to you because you are unfortunate theres no need to examine into other
peoples influence for an explanation of that«
Reardon turned his face towards the speaker
»Then you have always regarded my wife as a woman likely to fail me in time
of need«
»I dont care to answer a question put in that way If we are no longer to
talk with the old friendliness its far better we shouldnt discuss things such
as this«
»Well practically you have answered Of course I remember those words of
yours that you refer to Whether you were right or wrong doesnt affect what I
say«
He spoke with a dull doggedness as though mental fatigue did not allow him
to say more
»Its impossible to argue against such a charge« said Milvain »I am
convinced it isnt true and thats all I can answer But perhaps you think this
extraordinary influence of mine is still being used against you«
»I know nothing about it« Reardon replied in the same unmodulated voice
»Well as I have told you this was my first visit to Mrs Yules since your
wife has been there and I didnt see her she isnt very well and keeps her
room Im glad it happened so that I didnt meet her Henceforth I shall keep
away from the family altogether so long at all events as your wife remains
with them Of course I shant tell anyone why that would be impossible But you
shant have to fear that I am decrying you By Jove an amiable figure you make
of me«
»I have said what I didnt wish to say and what I oughtnt to have said
You must misunderstand me I cant help it«
Reardon had been walking for hours and was in truth exhausted He became
mute Jasper whose misrepresentation was wilful though not maliciously so
also fell into silence he did not believe that his conversations with Amy had
seriously affected the course of events but he knew that he had often said
things to her in private which would scarcely have fallen from his lips if her
husband had been present little depreciatory phrases wrong rather in tone
than in terms which came of his irresistible desire to assume superiority
whenever it was possible He too was weak but with quite another kind of
weakness than Reardons His was the weakness of vanity which sometimes leads a
man to commit treacheries of which he would believe himself incapable
Selfaccused he took refuge in the pretence of misconception which again was a
betrayal of littleness
They drew near to Westbourne Park Station
»You are living a long way from here« Jasper said coldly »Are you going
by train«
»No You said my wife was ill«
»Oh not ill At least I didnt understand that it was anything serious
Why dont you walk back to the house«
»I must judge of my own affairs«
»True I beg your pardon I take the train here so Ill say goodnight«
They nodded to each other but did not shake hands
A day or two later Milvain wrote to Mrs Yule and told her that he had seen
Reardon he did not describe the circumstances under which the interview had
taken place but gave it as his opinion that Reardon was in a state of nervous
illness and made by suffering quite unlike himself That he might be on the way
to positive mental disease seemed likely enough »Unhappily I myself can be of
no use to him he has not the same friendly feeling for me as he used to have
But it is very certain that those of his friends who have the power should exert
themselves to raise him out of this fearful slough of despond If he isnt
effectually helped theres no saying what may happen One thing is certain I
think he is past helping himself Sane literary work cannot be expected from
him It seems a monstrous thing that so good a fellow and one with such
excellent brains too should perish by the way when influential people would
have no difficulty in restoring him to health and usefulness«
All the months of summer went by Jasper kept his word and never visited
Mrs Yules house but once in July he met that lady at the Carters and heard
then what he knew from other sources that the position of things was
unchanged In August Mrs Yule spent a fortnight at the seaside and Amy
accompanied her Milvain and his sisters accepted an invitation to visit friends
at Wattleborough and were out of town about three weeks the last ten days
being passed in the Isle of Wight it was an extravagant holiday but Dora had
been ailing and her brother declared that they would all work better for the
change Alfred Yule with his wife and daughter rusticated somewhere in Kent
Dora and Marian exchanged letters and here is a passage from one written by the
former
»Jasper has shown himself in an unusually amiable light since we left town
I looked forward to this holiday with some misgivings as I know by experience
that it doesnt do for him and us to be too much together he gets tired of our
company and then his selfishness believe me he has a good deal of it comes
out in a way we dont appreciate But I have never known him so forbearing To
me he is particularly kind on account of my headaches and general shakiness It
isnt impossible that this young man if all goes well with him may turn out
far better than Maud and I ever expected But things will have to go very well
if the improvement is to be permanent I only hope he may make a lot of money
before long If this sounds rather gross to you I can only say that Jaspers
moral nature will never be safe as long as he is exposed to the risks of
poverty There are such people you know As a poor man I wouldnt trust him
out of my sight with money he will be a tolerable creature as men go«
Dora no doubt had her reasons for writing in this strain She would not
have made such remarks in conversation with her friend but took the opportunity
of being at a distance to communicate them in writing
On their return the two girls made good progress with the book they were
manufacturing for Messrs Jolly and Monk and early in October it was finished
Dora was now writing little things for The English Girl and Maud had begun to
review an occasional novel for an illustrated paper In spite of their poor
lodgings they had been brought into social relations with Mrs Boston Wright and
a few of her friends their position was understood and in accepting
invitations they had no fear lest unwelcome people should pounce down upon them
in their shabby little sittingroom The younger sister cared little for society
such as Jasper procured them with Marian Yule for a companion she would have
been quite content to spend her evenings at home But Maud relished the
introduction to strangers She was admired and knew it Prudence could not
restrain her from buying a handsomer dress than those she had brought from her
country home and it irked her sorely that she might not reconstruct all her
equipment to rival the appearance of welltodo girls whom she studied and
envied Her disadvantages for the present were insuperable She had no one to
chaperon her she could not form intimacies because of her poverty A rare
invitation to luncheon a permission to call at the sacred hour of smalltalk
this was all she could hope for
»I advise you to possess your soul in patience« Jasper said to her as they
talked one day on the seashore »You are not to blame that you live without
conventional protection but it necessitates your being very careful These
people you are getting to know are not rigid about social observances and they
wont exactly despise you for poverty all the same their charity mustnt be
tested too severely Be very quiet for the present let it be seen that you
understand that your position isnt quite regular I mean of course do so in
a modest and nice way As soon as ever its possible well arrange for you to
live with someone who will preserve appearances All this is contemptible of
course but we belong to a contemptible society and cant help ourselves For
Heavens sake dont spoil your chances by rashness be content to wait a
little till some more money comes in«
Midway in October about halfpast eight one evening Jasper received an
unexpected visit from Dora He was in his sittingroom smoking and reading a
novel
»Anything wrong« he asked as his sister entered
»No but Im alone this evening and I thought I would see if you were in«
»Wheres Maud then«
»She went to see the Lanes this afternoon and Mrs Lane invited her to go to
the Gaiety tonight she said a friend whom she had invited couldnt come and
the ticket would be wasted Maud went back to dine with them Shell come home
in a cab«
»Why is Mrs Lane so affectionate all at once Take your things off I have
nothing to do«
»Miss Radway was going as well«
»Whos Miss Radway«
»Dont you know her Shes staying with the Lanes Maud says she writes for
The West End«
»And will that fellow Lane be with them«
»I think not«
Jasper mused contemplating the bowl of his pipe
»I suppose she was in rare excitement«
»Pretty well She has wanted to go to the Gaiety for a long time Theres no
harm is there«
Dora asked the question with that absent air which girls are wont to assume
when they touch on doubtful subjects
»Harm no Idiocy and lively music thats all Its too late or Id have
taken you for the joke of the thing Confound it she ought to have better
dresses«
»Oh she looked very nice in that best«
»Pooh But I dont care for her to be running about with the Lanes Lane is
too big a blackguard it reflects upon his wife to a certain extent«
They gossiped for half an hour then a tap at the door interrupted them it
was the landlady
»Mr Whelpdale has called to see you sir I mentioned as Miss Milvain was
here so he said he wouldnt come up unless you sent to ask him«
Jasper smiled at Dora and said in a low voice
»What do you say Shall he come up He can behave himself«
»Just as you please Jasper«
»Ask him to come up Mrs Thompson please«
Mr Whelpdale presented himself He entered with much more ceremony than when
Milvain was alone on his visage was a grave respectfulness his step was light
his whole bearing expressed diffidence and pleasurable anticipation
»My younger sister Whelpdale« said Jasper with subdued amusement
The dealer in literary advice made a bow which did him no discredit and
began to speak in a low reverential tone not at all disagreeable to the ear
His breeding in truth had been that of a gentleman and it was only of late
years that he had fallen into the hungry region of New Grub Street
»Hows the Manual going off« Milvain inquired
»Excellently We have sold nearly six hundred«
»My sister is one of your readers I believe she has studied the book with
much conscientiousness«
»Really You have really read it Miss Milvain«
Dora assured him that she had and his delight knew no bounds
»It isnt all rubbish by any means« said Jasper graciously »In the
chapter on writing for magazines there are one or two very good hints What a
pity you cant apply your own advice Whelpdale«
»Now thats horribly unkind of you« protested the other »You might have
spared me this evening But unfortunately its quite true Miss Milvain I point
the way but I havent been able to travel it myself You mustnt think I have
never succeeded in getting things published but I cant keep it up as a
profession Your brother is the successful man A marvellous facility I envy
him Few men at present writing have such talent«
»Please dont make him more conceited than he naturally is« interposed
Dora
»What news of Biffen« asked Jasper presently
»He says he shall finish Mr Bailey Grocer in about a month He read me one
of the later chapters the other night Its really fine most remarkable
writing it seems to me It will be scandalous if he cant get it published it
will indeed«
»I do hope he may« said Dora laughing »I have heard so much of Mr Bailey
that it will be a great disappointment if I am never to read it«
»Im afraid it would give you very little pleasure« Whelpdale replied
hesitatingly »The matter is so very gross«
»And the hero grocer« shouted Jasper mirthfully »Oh but its quite
decent only rather depressing The decently ignoble or the ignobly decent
Which is Biffens formula I saw him a week ago and he looked hungrier than
ever«
»Ah but poor Reardon I passed him at Kings Cross not long ago He didnt
see me walks with his eyes on the ground always and I hadnt the courage to
stop him Hes the ghost of his old self He cant live long«
Dora and her brother exchanged a glance It was a long time since Jasper had
spoken to his sisters about the Reardons nowadays he seldom heard either of
husband or wife
The conversation that went on was so agreeable to Whelpdale that he lost
consciousness of time It was past eleven oclock when Jasper felt obliged to
remind him
»Dora I think I must be taking you home«
The visitor at once made ready for departure and his leavetaking was as
respectful as his entrance had been Though he might not say what he thought
there was very legible upon his countenance a hope that he would again be
privileged to meet Miss Dora Milvain
»Not a bad fellow in his way« said Jasper when Dora and he were alone
again
»Not at all«
She had heard the story of Whelpdales hapless wooing half a year ago and
her recollection of it explained the smile with which she spoke
»Never get on Im afraid« Jasper pursued »He has his allowance of twenty
pounds a year and makes perhaps fifty or sixty more If I were in his position
I should go in for some kind of regular business he has people who could help
him Goodnatured fellow but whats the use of that if youve no money«
They set out together and walked to the girls lodgings Dora was about to
use her latchkey but Jasper checked her
»No Theres a light in the kitchen still better knock as were so late«
»But why«
»Never mind do as I tell you«
The landlady admitted them and Jasper spoke a word or two with her
explaining that he would wait until his elder sisters return the darkness of
the secondfloor windows had shown that Maud was not yet back
»What strange fancies you have« remarked Dora when they were upstairs
»So have people in general unfortunately«
A letter lay on the table It was addressed to Maud and Dora recognised the
handwriting as that of a Wattleborough friend
»There must be some news here« she said »Mrs Haynes wouldnt write unless
she had something special to say«
Just upon midnight a cab drew up before the house Dora ran down to open
the door to her sister who came in with very bright eyes and more colour than
usual on her cheeks
»How late for you to be here« she exclaimed on entering the sittingroom
and seeing Jasper
»I shouldnt have felt comfortable till I knew that you were back all
right«
»What fear was there«
She threw off her wraps laughing
»Well have you enjoyed yourself«
»Oh yes« she replied carelessly »This letter for me What has Mrs Haynes
got to say I wonder«
She opened the envelope and began to glance hurriedly over the sheet of
paper Then her face changed
»What do you think Mr Yule is dead«
Dora uttered an exclamation Jasper displayed the keenest interest
»He died yesterday no it would be the day before yesterday He had a fit
of some kind at a public meeting was taken to the hospital because it was
nearest and died in a few hours So that has come at last Now whatll be the
result of it I wonder«
»When shall you be seeing Marian« asked her brother
»She might come tomorrow evening«
»But wont she go to the funeral« suggested Dora
»Perhaps theres no saying I suppose her father will at all events The
day before yesterday Then the funeral will be on Saturday I should think«
»Ought I to write to Marian« asked Dora
»No I wouldnt« was Jaspers reply »Better wait till she lets you hear
Thats sure to be soon She may have gone to Wattleborough this afternoon or be
going tomorrow morning«
The letter from Mrs Haynes was passed from hand to hand »Everybody feels
sure« it said »that a great deal of his money will be left for public
purposes The ground for the park being already purchased he is sure to have
made provision for carrying out his plans connected with it But I hope your
friends in London may benefit«
It was some time before Jasper could put an end to the speculative
conversation and betake himself homewards And even on getting back to his
lodgings he was little disposed to go to bed This event of John Yules death
had been constantly in his mind but there was always a fear it might not happen
for long enough the sudden announcement excited him almost as much as if he
were a relative of the deceased
»Confound his public purposes« was the thought upon which he at length
slept
Chapter 21
Mr Yule Leaves Town
Since the domestic incidents connected with that unpleasant review in The
Current the relations between Alfred Yule and his daughter had suffered a
permanent change though not in a degree noticeable by anyone but the two
concerned To all appearances they worked together and conversed very much as
they had been wont to do but Marian was made to feel in many subtle ways that
her father no longer had complete confidence in her no longer took the same
pleasure as formerly in the skill and conscientiousness of her work and Yule on
his side perceived too clearly that the girl was preoccupied with something
other than her old wish to aid and satisfy him that she had a new life of her
own alien to and in some respects irreconcilable with the existence in which
he desired to confirm her There was no renewal of open disagreement but their
conversations frequently ended by tacit mutual consent at a point which
threatened divergence and in Yules case every such warning was a cause of
intense irritation He feared to provoke Marian and this fear was again a
torture to his pride
Beyond the fact that his daughter was in constant communication with the
Miss Milvains he knew and could discover nothing of the terms on which she
stood with the girls brother and this ignorance was harder to bear than full
assurance of a disagreeable fact would have been That a man like Jasper
Milvain whose name was every now and then forced upon his notice as a rising
periodicalist and a faithful henchman of the unspeakable Fadge that a young
fellow of such excellent prospects should seriously attach himself to a girl
like Marian seemed to him highly improbable save indeed for the one
consideration that Milvain who assuredly had a very keen eye to chances might
regard the girl as a niece of old John Yule and therefore worth holding in view
until it was decided whether or not she would benefit by her uncles decease
Fixed in his antipathy to the young man he would not allow himself to admit any
but a base motive on Milvains side if indeed Marian and Jasper were more to
each other than slight acquaintances and he persuaded himself that anxiety for
the girls welfare was at least as strong a motive with him as mere prejudice
against the ally of Fadge and it might be the reviewer of English Prose
Milvain was quite capable of playing fast and loose with a girl and Marian
owing to the peculiar circumstances of her position would easily be misled by
the pretence of a clever speculator
That she had never spoken again about the review in The Current might
receive several explanations Perhaps she had not been able to convince herself
either for or against Milvains authorship perhaps she had reason to suspect
that the young man was the author perhaps she merely shrank from reviving a
discussion in which she might betray what she desired to keep secret This last
was the truth Finding that her father did not recur to the subject Marian
concluded that he had found himself to be misinformed But Yule though he heard
the original rumour denied by people whom in other matters he would have
trusted would not lay aside the doubt that flattered his prejudices If Milvain
were not the writer of the review he very well might have been and what
certainty could be arrived at in matters of literary gossip
There was an element of jealousy in the fathers feeling If he did not love
Marian with all the warmth of which a parent is capable at least he had more
affection for her than for any other person and of this he became strongly
aware now that the girl seemed to be turning from him If he lost Marian he
would indeed be a lonely man for he considered his wife of no account
Intellectually again he demanded an entire allegiance from his daughter he
could not bear to think that her zeal on his behalf was diminishing that
perhaps she was beginning to regard his work as futile and antiquated in
comparison with that of the new generation Yet this must needs be the result of
frequent intercourse with such a man as Milvain It seemed to him that he
remarked it in her speech and manner and at times he with difficulty restrained
himself from a reproach or a sarcasm which would have led to trouble
Had he been in the habit of dealing harshly with Marian as with her mother
of course his position would have been simpler But he had always respected her
and he feared to lose that measure of respect with which she repaid him Already
he had suffered in her esteem perhaps more than he liked to think and the
increasing embitterment of his temper kept him always in danger of the conflict
he dreaded Marian was not like her mother she could not submit to tyrannous
usage Warned of that he did his utmost to avoid an outbreak of discord
constantly hoping that he might come to understand his daughters position and
perhaps discover that his greatest fear was unfounded
Twice in the course of the summer he inquired of his wife whether she knew
anything about the Milvains But Mrs Yule was not in Marians confidence
»I only know that she goes to see the young ladies and that they do writing
of some kind«
»She never even mentions their brother to you«
»Never I havent heard his name from her since she told me the Miss
Milvains werent coming here again«
He was not sorry that Marian had taken the decision to keep her friends away
from St Pauls Crescent for it saved him a recurring annoyance but on the
other hand if they had continued to come he would not have been thus
completely in the dark as to her intercourse with Jasper scraps of information
must now and then have been gathered by his wife from the girls talk
Throughout the month of July he suffered much from his wonted bilious
attacks and Mrs Yule had to endure a double share of his illtemper that which
was naturally directed against her and that of which Marian was the cause In
August things were slightly better but with the return to labour came a renewal
of Yules sullenness and savageness Sundry pieces of illluck of a professional
kind warnings as he too well understood that it was growing more and more
difficult for him to hold his own against the new writers exasperated his
quarrel with destiny The gloom of a cold and stormy September was doubly
wretched in that house on the far borders of Camden Town but in October the sun
reappeared and it seemed to mollify the literary mans mood Just when Mrs Yule
and Marian began to hope that this long distemper must surely come to an end
there befell an incident which at the best of times would have occasioned
misery and which in the present juncture proved disastrous
It was one morning about eleven Yule was in his study Marian was at the
Museum Mrs Yule had gone shopping There came a sharp knock at the front door
and the servant on opening was confronted with a decentlydressed woman who
asked in a peremptory voice if Mrs Yule was at home
»No Then is Mr Yule«
»Yes mum but Im afraid hes busy«
»I dont care I must see him Say that Mrs Goby wants to see him at once«
The servant not without apprehensions delivered this message at the door
of the study
»Mrs Goby Who is Mrs Goby« exclaimed the man of letters irate at the
disturbance
There sounded an answer out of the passage for the visitor had followed
close
»I am Mrs Goby of the Olloway Road wife of Mr C O Goby aberdasher I
just want to speak to you Mr Yule if you please seeing that Mrs Yule isnt
in«
Yule started up in fury and stared at the woman to whom the servant had
reluctantly given place
»What business can you have with me If you wish to see Mrs Yule come again
when she is at home«
»No Mr Yule I will not come again« cried the woman red in the face »I
thought I might have had respectable treatment here at all events but I see
youre pretty much like your relations in the way of behaving to people though
you do wear better clothes and I spose call yourself a gentleman I wont
come again and you shall just hear what Ive got to say«
She closed the door violently and stood in an attitude of robust defiance
»Whats all this about« asked the enraged author overcoming an impulse to
take Mrs Goby by the shoulders and throw her out though he might have found
some difficulty in achieving this feat »Who are you And why do you come here
with your brawling«
»Im the respectable wife of a respectable man thats who I am Mr Yule
if you want to know And I always thought Mrs Yule was the same from the
dealings weve had with her at the shop though not knowing any more of her
its true except that she lived in St Pauls Crezzent And so she may be
respectable though I cant say as her husband behaves himself very much like
what he pretends to be But I cant say as much for her relations in Perker
Street Olloway which I spose theyre your relations as well at least by
marriage And if they think theyre going to insult me and use their blackguard
tongues «
»What are you talking about« shouted Yule who was driven to frenzy by the
mention of his wifes humble family »What have I to do with these people«
»What have you to do with them I spose theyre your relations aint they
And I spose the girl Annie Rudd is your niece aint she At least shes your
wifes niece and that comes to the same thing Ive always understood though I
dare say a gentleman as has so many books about him can correct me if Ive made
a mistake«
She looked scornfully though also with some surprise round the volumed
walls
»And what of this girl Will you have the goodness to say what your business
is«
»Yes I will have the goodness I spose you know very well that I took your
niece Annie Rudd as a domestic servant« she repeated this precise definition
»as a domestic servant because Mrs Yule appened to arst me if I knew of a
place for a girl of that kind as hadnt been out before but could be trusted
to do her best to give satisfaction to a good mistress I spose you know that«
»I know nothing of the kind What have I to do with servants«
»Well whether youve much to do with them or little thats how it was And
nicely shes paid me out has your niece Miss Rudd Of all the trouble I ever
had with a girl And now when shes run away back ome and when I take the
trouble to go arfter her Im to be insulted and abused as never was Oh
theyre a nice respectable family those Rudds Mrs Rudd thats Mrs Yules
sister what a nice politespoken lady she is to be sure If I was to repeat
the language but there I wouldnt lower myself And Ive been a brute of a
mistress I illuse my servants and I dont give em enough to eat and I pay
em worse than any woman in London Thats what Ive learnt about myself by
going to Perker Street Olloway And when I come here to ask Mrs Yule what she
means by recommending such a creature from such a ome I get insulted by her
gentleman husband«
Yule was livid with rage but the extremity of his scorn withheld him from
utterance of what he felt
»As I said all this has nothing to do with me I will let Mrs Yule know
that you have called I have no more time to spare«
Mrs Goby repeated at still greater length the details of her grievance but
long before she had finished Yule was sitting again at his desk in ostentatious
disregard of her Finally the exasperated woman flung open the door railed in
a loud voice along the passage and left the house with an alarming crash
It was not long before Mrs Yule returned Before taking off her things she
went down into the kitchen with certain purchases and there she learnt from the
servant what had happened during her absence Fear and trembling possessed her
the sick faint dread always excited by her husbands wrath but she felt
obliged to go at once to the study The scene that took place there was one of
ignoble violence on Yules part and on that of his wife of terrified
selfaccusation changing at length to dolorous resentment of the harshness with
which she was treated When it was over Yule took his hat and went out
He did not return for the midday meal and when Marian late in the
afternoon came back from the Museum he was still absent
Not finding her mother in the parlour Marian called at the head of the
kitchen stairs The servant answered saying that Mrs Yule was up in her
bedroom and that she didnt seem well Marian at once went up and knocked at
the bedroom door In a moment or two her mother came out showing a face of
tearful misery
»What is it mother Whats the matter«
They went into Marians room where Mrs Yule gave free utterance to her
lamentations
»I cant put up with it Marian Your fathers too hard with me I was
wrong I dare say and I might have known what would have come of it but he
couldnt speak to me worse if I did him all the harm I could on purpose Its
all about Annie because I found a place for her at Mrs Gobys in the Olloway
Road and now Mrs Gobys been here and seen your father and told him shes been
insulted by the Rudds because Annie went off home and she went after her to
make inquiries And your fathers in such a passion about it as never was That
woman Mrs Goby rushed into the study when he was working it was this morning
when I happened to be out And she throws all the blame on me for recommending
her such a girl And I did it for the best that I did Annie promised me
faithfully shed behave well and never give me trouble and she seemed thankful
to me because she wasnt happy at home And now to think of her causing all
this disturbance I oughtnt to have done such a thing without speaking about it
to your father but you know how afraid I am to say a word to him about those
people And my sisters told me so often I ought to be ashamed of myself never
helping her and her children she thinks I could do such a lot if I only liked
And now that I did try to do something see what comes of it«
Marian listened with a confusion of wretched feelings But her sympathies
were strongly with her mother as well as she could understand the broken story
her father seemed to have no just cause for his pitiless rage though such an
occasion would be likely enough to bring out his worst faults
»Is he in the study« she asked
»No he went out at twelve oclock and hes never been back since I feel
as if I must do something I cant bear with it Marian He tells me Im the
curse of his life yes he said that I oughtnt to tell you I know I
oughtnt but its more than I can bear Ive always tried to do my best but it
gets harder and harder for me But for me hed never be in these bad tempers
its because he cant look at me without getting angry He says Ive kept him
back all through his life but for me he might have been far better off than he
is It may be true Ive often enough thought it But I cant bear to have it
told me like that and to see it in his face every time he looks at me I shall
have to do something Hed be glad if only I was out of his way«
»Father has no right to make you so unhappy« said Marian »I cant see that
you did anything blameworthy it seems to me that it was your duty to try and
help Annie and if it turned out unfortunately that cant be helped You
oughtnt to think so much of what father says in his anger I believe he hardly
knows what he does say Dont take it so much to heart mother«
»Ive tried my best Marian« sobbed the poor woman who felt that even her
childs sympathy could not be perfect owing to the distance put between them by
Marians education and refined sensibilities »Ive always thought it wasnt
right to talk to you about such things but hes been too hard with me today«
»I think it was better you should tell me It cant go on like this I feel
that just as you do I must tell father that he is making our lives a burden to
us«
»Oh you mustnt speak to him like that Marian I wouldnt for anything
make unkindness between you and your father that would be the worst thing Id
done yet Id rather go away and work for my own living than make trouble
between you and him«
»It isnt you who make trouble its father I ought to have spoken to him
before this I had no right to stand by and see how much you suffered from his
illtemper«
The longer they talked the firmer grew Marians resolve to front her
fathers tyrannous illhumour and in one way or another to change the
intolerable state of things She had been weak to hold her peace so long at her
age it was a simple duty to interfere when her mother was treated with such
flagrant injustice Her fathers behaviour was unworthy of a thinking man and
he must be made to feel that
Yule did not return Dinner was delayed for half an hour then Marian
declared that they would wait no longer The two made a sorry meal and
afterwards went together into the sittingroom At eight oclock they heard the
front door open and Yules footstep in the passage Marian rose
»Dont speak till tomorrow« whispered her mother catching at the girls
arm »Let it be till tomorrow Marian«
»I must speak We cant live in this terror«
She reached the study just as her father was closing the door behind him
Yule seeing her enter glared with bloodshot eyes shame and sullen anger were
blended on his countenance
»Will you tell me what is wrong father« Marian asked in a voice which
betrayed her nervous suffering yet indicated the resolve with which she had
come
»I am not at all disposed to talk of the matter« he replied with the
awkward rotundity of phrase which distinguished him in his worst humour »For
information you had better go to Mrs Goby or a person of some such name in
Holloway Road I have nothing more to do with it«
»It was very unfortunate that the woman came and troubled you about such
things But I cant see that mother was to blame I dont think you ought to be
so angry with her«
It cost Marian a terrible effort to address her father in these terms When
he turned fiercely upon her she shrank back and felt as if strength must fail
her even to stand
»You cant see that she was to blame Isnt it entirely against my wish that
she keeps up any intercourse with those low people Am I to be exposed to
insulting disturbance in my very study because she chooses to introduce girls
of bad character as servants to vulgar women«
»I dont think Annie Rudd can be called a girl of bad character and it was
very natural that mother should try to do something for her You have never
actually forbidden her to see her relatives«
»A thousand times I have given her to understand that I utterly disapproved
of such association She knew perfectly well that this girl was as likely as not
to discredit her If she had consulted me I should at once have forbidden
anything of the kind she was aware of that She kept it secret from me knowing
that it would excite my displeasure I will not be drawn into such squalid
affairs I wont have my name spoken in such connection Your mother has only
herself to blame if I am angry with her«
»Your anger goes beyond all bounds At the very worst mother behaved
imprudently and with a very good motive It is cruel that you should make her
suffer as she is doing«
Marian was being strengthened to resist Her blood grew hot the sensation
which once before had brought her to the verge of conflict with her father
possessed her heart and brain
»You are not a suitable judge of my behaviour« replied Yule severely
»I am driven to speak We cant go on living in this way father For months
our home has been almost ceaselessly wretched because of the illtemper you are
always in Mother and I must defend ourselves we cant bear it any longer You
must surely feel how ridiculous it is to make such a thing as happened this
morning the excuse for violent anger How can I help judging your behaviour
When mother is brought to the point of saying that she would rather leave home
and everything than endure her misery any longer I should be wrong if I didnt
speak to you Why are you so unkind What serious cause has mother ever given
you«
»I refuse to argue such questions with you«
»Then you are very unjust I am not a child and theres nothing wrong in my
asking you why home is made a place of misery instead of being what home ought
to be«
»You prove that you are a child in asking for explanations which ought to
be clear enough to you«
»You mean that mother is to blame for everything«
»The subject is no fit one to be discussed between a father and his
daughter If you cannot see the impropriety of it be so good as to go away and
reflect and leave me to my occupations«
Marian came to a pause But she knew that his rebuke was mere unworthy
evasion she saw that her father could not meet her look and this perception of
shame in him impelled her to finish what she had begun
»I will say nothing of mother then but speak only for myself I suffer too
much from your unkindness you ask too much endurance«
»You mean that I exact too much work from you« asked her father with a
look which might have been directed to a recalcitrant clerk
»No But that you make the conditions of my work too hard I live in
constant fear of your anger«
»Indeed When did I last illuse you or threaten you«
»I often think that threats or even illusage would be easier to bear than
an unchanging gloom which always seems on the point of breaking into violence«
»I am obliged to you for your criticism of my disposition and manner but
unhappily I am too old to reform Life has made me what I am and I should have
thought that your knowledge of what my life has been would have gone far to
excuse a lack of cheerfulness in me«
The irony of this laborious period was full of selfpity His voice quavered
at the close and a tremor was noticeable in his stiff frame
»It isnt lack of cheerfulness that I mean father That could never have
brought me to speak like this«
»If you wish me to admit that I am badtempered surly irritable I make
no difficulty about that The charge is true enough I can only ask you again
What are the circumstances that have ruined my temper When you present yourself
here with a general accusation of my behaviour I am at a loss to understand
what you ask of me what you wish me to say or do I must beg you to speak
plainly Are you suggesting that I should make provision for the support of you
and your mother away from my intolerable proximity My income is not large as I
think you are aware but of course if a demand of this kind is seriously made I
must do my best to comply with it«
»It hurts me very much that you can understand me no better than this«
»I am sorry I think we used to understand each other but that was before
you were subjected to the influence of strangers«
In his perverse frame of mind he was ready to give utterance to any thought
which confused the point at issue This last allusion was suggested to him by a
sudden pang of regret for the pain he was causing Marian he defended himself
against selfreproach by hinting at the true reason of much of his harshness
»I am subjected to no influence that is hostile to you« Marian replied
»You may think that But in such a matter it is very easy for you to deceive
yourself«
»Of course I know what you refer to and I can assure you that I dont
deceive myself«
Yule flashed a searching glance at her
»Can you deny that you are on terms of friendship with a a person who
would at any moment rejoice to injure me«
»I am friendly with no such person Will you say whom you are thinking of«
»It would be useless I have no wish to discuss a subject on which we should
only disagree unprofitably«
Marian kept silence for a moment then said in a low unsteady voice
»It is perhaps because we never speak of that subject that we are so far
from understanding each other If you think that Mr Milvain is your enemy that
he would rejoice to injure you you are grievously mistaken«
»When I see a man in close alliance with my worst enemy and looking to that
enemy for favour I am justified in thinking that he would injure me if the
right kind of opportunity offered One need not be very deeply read in human
nature to have assurance of that«
»But I know Mr Milvain«
»You know him«
»Far better than you can I am sure You draw conclusions from general
principles but I know that they dont apply in this case«
»I have no doubt you sincerely think so I repeat that nothing can be
gained by such a discussion as this«
»One thing I must tell you There was no truth in your suspicion that Mr
Milvain wrote that review in The Current He assured me himself that he was not
the writer that he had nothing to do with it«
Yule looked askance at her and his face displayed solicitude which soon
passed however into a smile of sarcasm
»The gentlemans word no doubt has weight with you«
»Father what do you mean« broke from Marian whose eyes of a sudden
flashed stormily »Would Mr Milvain tell me a lie«
»I shouldnt like to say that it is impossible« replied her father in the
same tone as before
»But what right have you to insult him so grossly«
»I have every right my dear child to express an opinion about him or any
other man provided I do it honestly I beg you not to strike attitudes and
address me in the language of the stage You insist on my speaking plainly and
I have spoken plainly I warned you that we were not likely to agree on this
topic«
»Literary quarrels have made you incapable of judging honestly in things
such as this I wish I could have done for ever with the hateful profession that
so poisons mens minds«
»Believe me my girl« said her father incisively »the simpler thing would
be to hold aloof from such people as use the profession in a spirit of unalloyed
selfishness who seek only material advancement and who whatever connection
they form have nothing but selfinterest in view«
And he glared at her with much meaning Marian both had remained standing
all through the dialogue cast down her eyes and became lost in brooding
»I speak with profound conviction« pursued her father »and however little
you credit me with such a motive out of desire to guard you against the dangers
to which your inexperience is exposed It is perhaps as well that you have
afforded me this «
There sounded at the housedoor that duplicated doubleknock which generally
announces the bearer of a telegram Yule interrupted himself and stood in an
attitude of waiting The servant was heard to go along the passage to open the
door and then return towards the study Yes it was a telegram Such despatches
rarely came to this house Yule tore the envelope read its contents and stood
with gaze fixed upon the slip of paper until the servant inquired if there was
any reply for the boy to take with him
»No reply«
He slowly crumpled the envelope and stepped aside to throw it into the
paperbasket The telegram he laid on his desk Marian stood all the time with
bent head he now looked at her with an expression of meditative displeasure
»I dont know that theres much good in resuming our conversation« he said
in quite a changed tone as if something of more importance had taken possession
of his thoughts and had made him almost indifferent to the past dispute »But of
course I am quite willing to hear anything you would still like to say«
Marian had lost her vehemence She was absent and melancholy
»I can only ask you« she replied »to try and make life less of a burden to
us«
»I shall have to leave town tomorrow for a few days no doubt it will be
some satisfaction to you to hear that«
Marians eyes turned involuntarily towards the telegram
»As for your occupation in my absence« he went on in a hard tone which yet
had something tremulous emotional making it quite different from the voice he
had hitherto used »that will be entirely a matter for your own judgment I have
felt for some time that you assisted me with less goodwill than formerly and
now that you have frankly admitted it I shall of course have very little
satisfaction in requesting your aid I must leave it to you consult your own
inclination«
It was resentful but not savage between the beginning and the end of his
speech he softened to a sort of selfsatisfied pathos
»I cant pretend« replied Marian »that I have as much pleasure in the work
as I should have if your mood were gentler«
»I am sorry I might perhaps have made greater efforts to appear at ease
when I was suffering«
»Do you mean physical suffering«
»Physical and mental But that cant concern you During my absence I will
think of your reproof I know that it is deserved in some degree If it is
possible you shall have less to complain of in future«
He looked about the room and at length seated himself his eyes were fixed
in a direction away from Marian
»I suppose you had dinner somewhere« Marian asked after catching a glimpse
of his worn colourless face
»Oh I had a mouthful of something It doesnt matter«
It seemed as if he found some special pleasure in assuming this tone of
martyrdom just now At the same time he was becoming more absorbed in thought
»Shall I have something brought up for you father«
»Something Oh no no on no account«
He rose again impatiently then approached his desk and laid a hand on the
telegram Marian observed this movement and examined his face it was set in an
expression of eagerness
»You have nothing more to say then« He turned sharply upon her
»I feel that I havent made you understand me but I can say nothing more«
»I understand you very well too well That you should misunderstand and
mistrust me I suppose is natural You are young and I am old You are still
full of hope and I have been so often deceived and defeated that I dare not let
a ray of hope enter my mind Judge me judge me as hardly as you like My life
has been one long bitter struggle and if now I say« he began a new sentence
»that only the hard side of life has been shown to me small wonder if I have
become hard myself Desert me go your own way as the young always do But bear
in mind my warning Remember the caution I have given you«
He spoke in a strangely sudden agitation The arm with which he leaned upon
the table trembled violently After a moments pause he added in a thick voice
»Leave me I will speak to you again in the morning«
Impressed in a way she did not understand Marian at once obeyed and
rejoined her mother in the parlour Mrs Yule gazed anxiously at her as she
entered
»Dont be afraid« said Marian with difficulty bringing herself to speak
»I think it will be better«
»Was that a telegram that came« her mother inquired after a silence
»Yes I dont know where it was from But father said he would have to leave
town for a few days«
They exchanged looks
»Perhaps your uncle is very ill« said the mother in a low voice
»Perhaps so«
The evening passed drearily Fatigued with her emotions Marian went early
to bed she even slept later than usual in the morning and on descending she
found her father already at the breakfast table No greeting passed and there
was no conversation during the meal Marian noticed that her mother kept
glancing at her in a peculiarly grave way but she felt ill and dejected and
could fix her thoughts on no subject As he left the table Yule said to her
»I want to speak to you for a moment I shall be in the study«
She joined him there very soon He looked coldly at her and said in a
distant tone
»The telegram last night was to tell me that your uncle is dead«
»Dead«
»He died of apoplexy at a meeting in Wattleborough I shall go down this
morning and of course remain till after the funeral I see no necessity for
your going unless of course it is your desire to do so«
»No I should do as you wish«
»I think you had better not go to the Museum whilst I am away You will
occupy yourself as you think fit«
»I shall go on with the Harrington notes«
»As you please I dont know what mourning it would be decent for you to
wear you must consult with your mother about that That is all I wished to
say«
His tone was dismissal Marian had a struggle with herself but she could
find nothing to reply to his cold phrases And an hour or two afterwards Yule
left the house without leavetaking
Soon after his departure there was a visitors rattat at the door it
heralded Mrs Goby In the interview which then took place Marian assisted her
mother to bear the vigorous onslaughts of the haberdashers wife For more than
two hours Mrs Goby related her grievances against the fugitive servant against
Mrs Yule against Mr Yule meeting with no irritating opposition she was able
in this space of time to cool down to the temperature of normal intercourse and
when she went forth from the house again it was in a mood of dignified
displeasure which she felt to be some recompense for the injuries of yesterday
A result of this annoyance was to postpone conversation between mother and
daughter on the subject of John Yules death until a late hour of the afternoon
Marian was at work in the study or endeavouring to work for her thoughts would
not fix themselves on the matter in hand for many minutes together and Mrs Yule
came in with more than her customary diffidence
»Have you nearly done for today dear«
»Enough for the present I think«
She laid down her pen and leant back in the chair
»Marian do you think your father will be rich«
»I have no idea mother I suppose we shall know very soon«
Her tone was dreamy She seemed to herself to be speaking of something which
scarcely at all concerned her of vague possibilities which did not affect her
habits of thought
»If that happens« continued Mrs Yule in a low tone of distress »I dont
know what I shall do«
Marian looked at her questioningly
»I cant wish that it maynt happen« her mother went on »I cant for his
sake and for yours but I dont know what I shall do Hed think me more in his
way than ever Hed wish to have a large house and live in quite a different
way and how could I manage then I couldnt show myself hed be too much
ashamed of me I shouldnt be in my place even youd feel ashamed of me«
»You mustnt say that mother I have never given you cause to think that«
»No my dear you havent but it would be only natural I couldnt live the
kind of life that youre fit for I shall be nothing but a hindrance and a shame
to both of you«
»To me you would never be either hindrance or shame be quite sure of that
And as for father I am all but certain that if he became rich he would be a
very much kinder man a better man in every way It is poverty that has made him
worse than he naturally is it has that effect on almost everybody Money does
harm too sometimes but never I think to people who have a good heart and a
strong mind Father is naturally a warmhearted man riches would bring out all
the best in him He would be generous again which he has almost forgotten how
to be among all his disappointments and battlings Dont be afraid of that
change but hope for it«
Mrs Yule gave a troublous sigh and for a few minutes pondered anxiously
»I wasnt thinking so much about myself« she said at length »Its the
hindrance I should be to father Just because of me he mightnt be able to use
his money as hed wish Hed always be feeling that if it wasnt for me things
would be so much better for him and for you as well«
»You must remember« Marian replied »that at fathers age people dont care
to make such great changes His home life I feel sure wouldnt be so very
different from what it is now he would prefer to use his money in starting a
paper or magazine I know that would be his first thought If more acquaintances
came to his house what would that matter It isnt as if he wished for
fashionable society They would be literary people and why ever shouldnt you
meet with them«
»Ive always been the reason why he couldnt have many friends«
»Thats a great mistake If father ever said that in his bad temper he
knew it wasnt the truth The chief reason has always been his poverty It costs
money to entertain friends time as well Dont think in this anxious way
mother If we are to be rich it will be better for all of us«
Marian had every reason for seeking to persuade herself that this was true
In her own heart there was a fear of how wealth might affect her father but she
could not bring herself to face the darker prospect For her so much depended on
that hope of a revival of generous feeling under sunny influences
It was only after this conversation that she began to reflect on all the
possible consequences of her uncles death As yet she had been too much
disturbed to grasp as a reality the event to which she had often looked forward
though as to something still remote and of quite uncertain results Perhaps at
this moment though she could not know it the course of her life had undergone
the most important change Perhaps there was no more need for her to labour upon
this article she was manufacturing
She did not think it probable that she herself would benefit directly by
John Yules will There was no certainty that even her father would for he and
his brother had never been on cordial terms But on the whole it seemed likely
that he would inherit money enough to free him from the toil of writing for
periodicals He himself anticipated that What else could be the meaning of
those words in which and it was before the arrival of the news he had warned
her against people who made connections only with selfinterest in view This
threw a sudden light upon her fathers attitude towards Jasper Milvain
Evidently he thought that Jasper regarded her as a possible heiress sooner or
later That suspicion was rankling in his mind doubtless it intensified the
prejudice which originated in literary animosity
Was there any truth in his suspicion She did not shrink from admitting that
there might be Jasper had from the first been so frank with her had so often
repeated that money was at present his chief need If her father inherited
substantial property would it induce Jasper to declare himself more than her
friend She could view the possibility of that and yet not for a moment be
shaken in her love It was plain that Jasper could not think of marrying until
his position and prospects were greatly improved practically his sisters
depended upon him What folly it would be to draw back if circumstances led him
to avow what hitherto he had so slightly disguised She had the conviction that
he valued her for her own sake if the obstacle between them could only be
removed what matter how
Would he be willing to abandon Clement Fadge and come over to her fathers
side If Yule were able to found a magazine
Had she read or heard of a girl who went so far in concessions Marian would
have turned away her delicacy offended In her own case she could indulge to
the utmost that practicality which colours a womans thought even in
midpassion The cold exhibition of ignoble scheming will repel many a woman
who for her own hearts desire is capable of that same compromise with her
strict sense of honour
Marian wrote to Dora Milvain telling her what had happened But she refrained
from visiting her friends
Each night found her more restless each morning less able to employ
herself She shut herself in the study merely to be alone with her thoughts to
be able to walk backwards and forwards or sit for hours in feverish reverie
From her father came no news Her mother was suffering dreadfully from suspense
and often had eyes red with weeping Absorbed in her own hopes and fears whilst
every hour harassed her more intolerably Marian was unable to play the part of
an encourager she had never known such exclusiveness of selfoccupation
Yules return was unannounced Early in the afternoon when he had been
absent five days he entered the house deposited his travellingbag in the
passage and went upstairs Marian had come out of the study just in time to see
him up on the first landing at the same moment Mrs Yule ascended from the
kitchen
»Wasnt that father«
»Yes he has gone up«
»Did he say anything«
Marian shook her head They looked at the travellingbag then went into the
parlour and waited in silence for more than a quarter of an hour Yules foot
was heard on the stairs he came down slowly paused in the passage entered the
parlour with his usual grave cold countenance
Chapter 22
The Legatees
Each day Jasper came to inquire of his sisters if they had news from
Wattleborough or from Marian Yule He exhibited no impatience spoke of the
matter in a disinterested tone still he came daily
One afternoon he found Dora working alone Maud he was told had gone to
lunch at Mrs Lanes
»So soon again Shes getting very thick with those people And why dont
they ask you«
»Maud has told them that I dont care to go out«
»Its all very well but she mustnt neglect her work Did she write
anything last night or this morning«
Dora bit the end of her pen and shook her head
»Why not«
»The invitation came about five oclock and it seemed to unsettle her«
»Precisely Thats what Im afraid of She isnt the kind of girl to stick
at work if people begin to send her invitations But I tell you what it is you
must talk seriously to her she has to get her living you know Mrs Lane and
her set are not likely to be much use thats the worst of it theyll merely
waste her time and make her discontented«
Her sister executed an elaborate bit of crosshatching on some waste paper
Her lips were drawn together and her brows wrinkled At length she broke the
silence by saying
»Marian hasnt been yet«
Jasper seemed to pay no attention she looked up at him and saw that he was
in thought
»Did you go to those people last night« she inquired
»Yes Bytheby Miss Rupert was there«
He spoke as if the name would be familiar to his hearer but Dora seemed at
a loss
»Who is Miss Rupert«
»Didnt I tell you about her I thought I did Oh I met her first of all at
Barlows just after we got back from the seaside Rather an interesting girl
Shes a daughter of Manton Rupert the advertising agent I want to get invited
to their house useful people you know«
»But is an advertising agent a gentleman«
Jasper laughed
»Do you think of him as a billposter At all events he is enormously
wealthy and has a magnificent house at Chislehurst The girl goes about with
her stepmother I call her a girl but she must be nearly thirty and Mrs
Rupert looks only two or three years older I had quite a long talk with her
Miss Rupert I mean last night She told me she was going to stay next week
with the Barlows so I shall have a run out to Wimbledon one afternoon«
Dora looked at him inquiringly
»Just to see Miss Rupert« she asked meeting his eyes
»To be sure Why not«
»Oh« ejaculated his sister as if the question did not concern her
»She isnt exactly goodlooking« pursued Jasper meditatively with a quick
glance at the listener »but fairly intellectual Plays very well and has a
nice contralto voice she sang that new thing of Tostis what do you call it
I thought her rather masculine when I first saw her but the impression wears
off when one knows her better She rather takes to me I fancy«
»But « began Dora after a minutes silence
»But what« inquired her brother with an air of interest
»I dont quite understand you«
»In general or with reference to some particular«
»What right have you to go to places just to see this Miss Rupert«
»What right« He laughed »I am a young man with my way to make I cant
afford to lose any opportunity If Miss Rupert is so good as to take an interest
in me I have no objection Shes old enough to make friends for herself«
»Oh then you consider her simply a friend«
»I shall see how things go on«
»But pray do you consider yourself perfectly free« asked Dora with some
indignation
»Why shouldnt I«
»Then I think you have been behaving very strangely«
Jasper saw that she was in earnest He stroked the back of his head and
smiled at the wall
»With regard to Marian you mean«
»Of course I do«
»But Marian understands me perfectly I have never for a moment tried to
make her think that well to put it plainly that I was in love with her In
all our conversations it has been my one object to afford her insight into my
character and to explain my position She has no excuse whatever for
misinterpreting me And I feel assured that she has done nothing of the kind«
»Very well if you feel satisfied with yourself «
»But come now Dora whats all this about You are Marians friend and of
course I dont wish you to say a word about her But let me explain myself I
have occasionally walked part of the way home with Marian when she and I have
happened to go from here at the same time now there was nothing whatever in our
talk at such time that anyone mightnt have listened to We are both
intellectual people and we talk in an intellectual way You seem to have rather
oldfashioned ideas provincial ideas A girl like Marian Yule claims the new
privileges of woman she would resent it if you supposed that she couldnt be
friendly with a man without attributing intentions to him to use the old word
We dont live in Wattleborough where liberty is rendered impossible by the
cackling of gossips«
»No but «
»Well«
»It seems to me rather strange thats all We had better not talk about it
any more«
»But I have only just begun to talk about it I must try to make my position
intelligible to you Now suppose a quite impossible thing that Marian
inherited some twenty or thirty thousand pounds I should forthwith ask her to
be my wife«
»Oh indeed«
»I see no reason for sarcasm It would be a most rational proceeding I like
her very much but to marry her supposing she would have me without money
would be a gross absurdity simply spoiling my career and leading to all sorts
of discontents«
»No one would suggest that you should marry as things are«
»No but please to bear in mind that to obtain money somehow or other and
I see no other way than by marriage is necessary to me and that with as
little delay as possible I am not at all likely to get a big editorship for
some years to come and I dont feel disposed to make myself prematurely old by
toiling for a few hundreds per annum in the meantime Now all this I have
frankly and fully explained to Marian I dare say she suspects what I should do
if she came into possession of money theres no harm in that But she knows
perfectly well that as things are we remain intellectual friends«
»Then listen to me Jasper If we hear that Marian gets nothing from her
uncle you had better behave honestly and let her see that you havent as much
interest in her as before«
»That would be brutality«
»It would be honest«
»Well no it wouldnt Strictly speaking my interest in Marian wouldnt
suffer at all I should know that we could be nothing but friends thats all
Hitherto I havent known what might come to pass I dont know yet So far from
following your advice I shall let Marian understand that if anything I am
more her friend than ever seeing that henceforth there can be no ambiguities«
»I can only tell you that Maud would agree with me in what I have been
saying«
»Then both of you have distorted views«
»I think not Its you who are unprincipled«
»My dear girl havent I been showing you that no man could be more
aboveboard more straightforward«
»You have been talking nonsense Jasper«
»Nonsense Oh this female lack of logic Then my argument has been utterly
thrown away Now thats one of the things I like in Miss Rupert she can follow
an argument and see consequences And for that matter so can Marian I only wish
it were possible to refer this question to her«
There was a tap at the door Dora called »Come in« and Marian herself
appeared
»What an odd thing« exclaimed Jasper lowering his voice »I was that
moment saying I wished it were possible to refer a question to you«
Dora reddened and stood in an embarrassed attitude
»It was the old dispute whether women in general are capable of logic But
pardon me Miss Yule I forget that you have been occupied with sad things since
I last saw you«
Dora led her to a chair asking if her father had returned
»Yes he came back yesterday«
Jasper and his sister could not think it likely that Marian had suffered
much from grief at her uncles death practically John Yule was a stranger to
her Yet her face bore the signs of acute mental trouble and it seemed as if
some agitation made it difficult for her to speak The awkward silence that fell
upon the three was broken by Jasper who expressed a regret that he was obliged
to take his leave
»Maud is becoming a young lady of society« he said just for the sake of
saying something as he moved towards the door »If she comes back whilst you
are here Miss Yule warn her that that is the path of destruction for literary
people«
»You should bear that in mind yourself« remarked Dora with a significant
look
»Oh I am coolheaded enough to make society serve my own ends«
Marian turned her head with a sudden movement which was checked before she
had quite looked round to him The phrase he uttered last appeared to have
affected her in some way her eyes fell and an expression of pain was on her
brows for a moment
»I can only stay a few minutes« she said bending with a faint smile
towards Dora as soon as they were alone »I have come on my way from the
Museum«
»Where you have tired yourself to death as usual I can see«
»No I have done scarcely anything I only pretended to read my mind is too
much troubled Have you heard anything about my uncles will«
»Nothing whatever«
»I thought it might have been spoken of in Wattleborough and some friend
might have written to you But I suppose there has hardly been time for that I
shall surprise you very much Father receives nothing but I have a legacy of
five thousand pounds«
Dora kept her eyes down
»Then what do you think« continued Marian »My cousin Amy has ten
thousand pounds«
»Good gracious What a difference that will make«
»Yes indeed And her brother John has six thousand But nothing to their
mother There are a good many other legacies but most of the property goes to
the Wattleborough Park Yule Park it will be called and to the Volunteers
and things of that kind They say he wasnt as rich as people thought«
»Do you know what Miss Harrow gets«
»She has the house for her life and fifteen hundred pounds«
»And your father nothing whatever«
»Nothing Not a penny Oh I am so grieved I think it so unkind so wrong
Amy and her brother to have sixteen thousand pounds and father nothing I cant
understand it There was no unkind feeling between him and father He knew what
a hard life father has had Doesnt it seem heartless«
»What does your father say«
»I think he feels the unkindness more than he does the disappointment of
course he must have expected something He came into the room where mother and I
were and sat down and began to tell us about the will just as if he were
speaking to strangers about something he had read in the newspaper thats the
only way I can describe it Then he got up and went away into the study I
waited a little then went to him there he was sitting at work as if he hadnt
been away from home at all I tried to tell him how sorry I was but I couldnt
say anything I began to cry foolishly He spoke kindly to me far more kindly
than he has done for a long time but he wouldnt talk about the will and I had
to go away and leave him Poor mother for all she was afraid that we were going
to be rich is brokenhearted at his disappointment«
»Your mother was afraid« said Dora
»Because she thought herself unfitted for life in a large house and feared
we should think her in our way« She smiled sadly »Poor mother she is so
humble and so good I do hope that father will be kinder to her But theres no
telling yet what the result of this may be I feel guilty when I stand before
him«
»But he must feel glad that you have five thousand pounds«
Marian delayed her reply for a moment her eyes down
»Yes perhaps he is glad of that«
»Perhaps«
»He cant help thinking Dora what use he could have made of it It has
always been his greatest wish to have a literary paper of his own like The
Study you know He would have used the money in that way I am sure«
»But all the same he ought to feel pleasure in your good fortune«
Marian turned to another subject
»Think of the Reardons what a change all at once What will they do I
wonder Surely they wont continue to live apart«
»We shall hear from Jasper«
Whilst they were discussing the affairs of that branch of the family Maud
returned There was illhumour on her handsome face and she greeted Marian but
coldly Throwing off her hat and gloves and mantle she listened to the repeated
story of John Yules bequests
»But why ever has Mrs Reardon so much more than anyone else« she asked
»We can only suppose it is because she was the favourite child of the
brother he liked best Yet at her wedding he gave her nothing and spoke
contemptuously of her for marrying a literary man«
»Fortunate for her poor husband that her uncle was able to forgive her I
wonder whats the date of the will Who knows but he may have rewarded her for
quarrelling with Mr Reardon«
This excited a laugh
»I dont know when the will was made« said Marian »And I dont know
whether uncle had even heard of the Reardons misfortunes I suppose he must
have done My cousin John was at the funeral but not my aunt I think it most
likely father and John didnt speak a word to each other Fortunately the
relatives were lost sight of in the great crowd of Wattleborough people there
was an enormous procession of course«
Maud kept glancing at her sister The illhumour had not altogether passed
from her face but it was now blended with reflectiveness
A few moments more and Marian had to hasten home When she was gone the
sisters looked at each other
»Five thousand pounds« murmured the elder »I suppose that is considered
nothing«
»I suppose so He was here when Marian came but didnt stay«
»Then youll take him the news this evening«
»Yes« replied Dora Then after musing »He seemed annoyed that you were at
the Lanes again«
Maud made a movement of indifference
»What has been putting you out«
»Things were rather stupid Some people who were to have come didnt turn
up And well it doesnt matter«
She rose and glanced at herself in the little oblong mirror over the
mantelpiece
»Did Jasper ever speak to you of a Miss Rupert« asked Dora
»Not that I remember«
»What do you think He told me in the calmest way that he didnt see why
Marian should think of him as anything but the most ordinary friend said he
had never given her reason to think anything else«
»Indeed And Miss Rupert is someone who has the honour of his preference«
»He says she is about thirty and rather masculine but a great heiress
Jasper is shameful«
»What do you expect I consider it is your duty to let Marian know
everything he says Otherwise you help to deceive her He has no sense of honour
in such things«
Dora was so impatient to let her brother have the news that she left the
house as soon as she had had tea on the chance of finding Jasper at home She
had not gone a dozen yards before she encountered him in person
»I was afraid Marian might still be with you« he said laughing »I should
have asked the landlady Well«
»We cant stand talking here You had better come in«
He was in too much excitement to wait
»Just tell me What has she«
Dora walked quickly towards the house looking annoyed
»Nothing at all Then what has her father«
»He has nothing« replied his sister »and she has five thousand pounds«
Jasper walked on with bent head He said nothing more until he was upstairs
in the sittingroom where Maud greeted him carelessly
»Mrs Reardon anything«
Dora informed him
»What« he cried incredulously »Ten thousand You dont say so«
He burst into uproarious laughter
»So Reardon is rescued from the slum and the clerks desk Well Im glad
by Jove I am I should have liked it better if Marian had had the ten thousand
and he the five but its an excellent joke Perhaps the next thing will be that
hell refuse to have anything to do with his wifes money that would be just
like him«
After amusing himself with this subject for a few minutes more he turned to
the window and stood there in silence
»Are you going to have tea with us« Dora inquired
He did not seem to hear her On a repetition of the inquiry he answered
absently
»Yes I may as well Then I can go home and get to work«
During the remainder of his stay he talked very little and as Maud also was
in an abstracted mood tea passed almost in silence On the point of departing
he asked
»When is Marian likely to come here again«
»I havent the least idea« answered Dora
He nodded and went his way
It was necessary for him to work at a magazine article which he had begun
this morning and on reaching home he spread out his papers in the usual
businesslike fashion The subject out of which he was manufacturing copy had
its difficulties and was not altogether congenial to him this morning he had
laboured with unwonted effort to produce about a page of manuscript and now
that he tried to resume the task his thoughts would not centre upon it Jasper
was too young to have thoroughly mastered the art of somnambulistic composition
to write he was still obliged to give exclusive attention to the matter under
treatment Dr Johnsons saying that a man may write at any time if he will set
himself doggedly to it was often upon his lips and had even been of help to
him as no doubt it has to many another man obliged to compose amid distracting
circumstances but the formula had no efficacy this evening Twice or thrice he
rose from his chair paced the room with a determined brow and sat down again
with vigorous clutch of the pen still he failed to excogitate a single sentence
that would serve his purpose
»I must have it out with myself before I can do anything« was his thought
as he finally abandoned the endeavour »I must make up my mind«
To this end he settled himself in an easychair and began to smoke
cigarettes Some dozen of these aids to reflection only made him so nervous that
he could no longer remain alone He put on his hat and overcoat and went out
to find that it was raining heavily He returned for an umbrella and before
long was walking aimlessly about the Strand unable to make up his mind whether
to turn into a theatre or not Instead of doing so he sought a certain upper
room of a familiar restaurant where the days papers were to be seen and
perchance an acquaintance might be met Only half a dozen men were there
reading and smoking and all were unknown to him He drank a glass of lager
beer skimmed the news of the evening and again went out into the bad weather
After all it was better to go home Everything he encountered had an
unsettling effect upon him so that he was further than ever from the decision
at which he wished to arrive In Mornington Road he came upon Whelpdale who was
walking slowly under an umbrella
»Ive just called at your place«
»All right come back if you like«
»But perhaps I shall waste your time« said Whelpdale with unusual
diffidence
Reassured he gladly returned to the house Milvain acquainted him with the
fact of John Yules death and with its result so far as it concerned the
Reardons They talked of how the couple would probably behave under this
decisive change of circumstances
»Biffen professes to know nothing about Mrs Reardon« said Whelpdale »I
suspect he keeps his knowledge to himself out of regard for Reardon It
wouldnt surprise me if they live apart for a long time yet«
»Not very likely It was only want of money«
»Theyre not at all suited to each other Mrs Reardon no doubt repents her
marriage bitterly and I doubt whether Reardon cares much for his wife«
»As theres no way of getting divorced theyll make the best of it Ten
thousand pounds produce about four hundred a year its enough to live on«
»And be miserable on if they no longer love each other«
»Youre such a sentimental fellow« cried Jasper »I believe you seriously
think that love the sort of frenzy you understand by it ought to endure
throughout married life How has a man come to your age with such primitive
ideas«
»Well I dont know Perhaps you err a little in the opposite direction«
»I havent much faith in marrying for love as you know Whats more I
believe its the very rarest thing for people to be in love with each other
Reardon and his wife perhaps were an instance perhaps Im not quite sure
about her As a rule marriage is the result of a mild preference encouraged by
circumstances and deliberately heightened into strong sexual feeling You of
all men know well enough that the same kind of feeling could be produced for
almost any woman who wasnt repulsive«
»The same kind of feeling but theres vast difference of degree«
»To be sure I think its only a matter of degree When it rises to the
point of frenzy people may strictly be said to be in love and as I tell you I
think that comes to pass very rarely indeed For my own part I have no
experience of it and think I never shall have«
»I cant say the same«
They laughed
»I dare say you have imagined yourself in love or really been so for aught
I know a dozen times How the deuce you can attach any importance to such
feeling where marriage is concerned I dont understand«
»Well now« said Whelpdale »I have never upheld the theory at least not
since I was sixteen that a man can be in love only once or that there is one
particular woman if he misses whom he can never be happy There may be thousands
of women whom I could love with equal sincerity«
»I object to the word love altogether It has been vulgarised Let us talk
about compatibility Now I should say that no doubt and speaking
scientifically there is one particular woman supremely fitted to each man I
put aside consideration of circumstances we know that circumstances will
disturb any degree of abstract fitness But in the nature of things there must
be one woman whose nature is specially well adapted to harmonise with mine or
with yours If there were any means of discovering this woman in each case then
I have no doubt it would be worth a mans utmost effort to do so and any amount
of erotic jubilation would be reasonable when the discovery was made But the
thing is impossible and whats more we know what ridiculous fallibility
people display when they imagine they have found the best substitute for that
indiscoverable This is what makes me impatient with sentimental talk about
marriage An educated man mustnt play so into the hands of ironic destiny Let
him think he wants to marry a woman but dont let him exaggerate his feelings
or idealise their nature«
»Theres a good deal in all that« admitted Whelpdale though
discontentedly
»Theres more than a good deal theres the last word on the subject The
days of romantic love are gone by The scientific spirit has put an end to that
kind of selfdeception Romantic love was inextricably blended with all sorts of
superstitions belief in personal immortality in superior beings in all the
rest of it What we think of now is moral and intellectual and physical
compatibility I mean if we are reasonable people«
»And if we are not so unfortunate as to fall in love with an incompatible«
added Whelpdale laughing
»Well that is a form of unreason a blind desire which science could
explain in each case I rejoice that I am not subject to that form of epilepsy«
»You positively never were in love«
»As you understand it never But I have felt a very distinct preference«
»Based on what you think compatibility«
»Yes Not strong enough to make me lose sight of prudence and advantage No
not strong enough for that«
He seemed to be reassuring himself
»Then of course that cant be called love« said Whelpdale
»Perhaps not But as I told you a preference of this kind can be
heightened into emotion if one chooses In the case of which I am thinking it
easily might be And I think it very improbable indeed that I should repent it
if anything led me to indulge such an impulse«
Whelpdale smiled
»This is very interesting I hope it may lead to something«
»I dont think it will I am far more likely to marry some woman for whom I
have no preference but who can serve me materially«
»I confess that amazes me I know the value of money as well as you do but
I wouldnt marry a rich woman for whom I had no preference By Jove no«
»Yes yes You are a consistent sentimentalist«
»Doomed to perpetual disappointment« said the other looking disconsolately
about the room
»Courage my boy I have every hope that I shall see you marry and repent«
»I admit the danger of that But shall I tell you something I have observed
Each woman I fall in love with is of a higher type than the one before«
Jasper roared irreverently and his companion looked hurt
»But I am perfectly serious I assure you To go back only three or four
years There was the daughter of my landlady in Barham Street well a nice girl
enough but limited decidedly limited Next came that girl at the stationers
you remember She was distinctly an advance both in mind and person Then there
was Miss Embleton yes I think she made again an advance She had been at
Bedford College you know and was really a girl of considerable attainments
morally admirable Afterwards «
He paused
»The maiden from Birmingham wasnt it« said Jasper again exploding
»Yes it was Well I cant be quite sure But in many respects that girl
was my ideal she really was«
»As you once or twice told me at the time«
»I really believe she would rank above Miss Embleton at all events from my
point of view And thats everything you know Its the effect a woman produces
on one that has to be considered«
»The next should be a paragon« said Jasper
»The next«
Whelpdale again looked about the room but added nothing and fell into a
long silence
When left to himself Jasper walked about a little then sat down at his
writingtable for he felt easier in mind and fancied that he might still do a
couple of hours work before going to bed He did in fact write half a dozen
lines but with the effort came back his former mood Very soon the pen dropped
and he was once more in the throes of anxious mental debate
He sat till after midnight and when he went to his bedroom it was with a
lingering step which proved him still a prey to indecision
Chapter 23
A Proposed Investment
Alfred Yules behaviour under his disappointment seemed to prove that even for
him the uses of adversity could be sweet On the day after his return home he
displayed a most unwonted mildness in such remarks as he addressed to his wife
and his bearing towards Marian was gravely gentle At meals he conversed or
rather monologised on literary topics with occasionally one of his grim jokes
pointed for Marians appreciation He became aware that the girl had been
overtaxing her strength of late and suggested a few weeks of recreation among
new novels The coldness and gloom which had possessed him when he made a formal
announcement of the news appeared to have given way before the sympathy
manifested by his wife and daughter he was now sorrowful but resigned
He explained to Marian the exact nature of her legacy It was to be paid out
of her uncles share in a wholesale stationery business with which John Yule
had been connected for the last twenty years but from which he had not long ago
withdrawn a large portion of his invested capital This house was known as
Tuberville amp Co a name which Marian now heard for the first time
»I knew nothing of his association with them« said her father »They tell
me that seven or eight thousand pounds will be realised from that source it
seems a pity that the investment was not left to you intact Whether there will
be any delay in withdrawing the money I cant say«
The executors were two old friends of the deceased one of them a former
partner in his papermaking concern
On the evening of the second day about an hour after dinner was over Mr
Hinks called at the house as usual he went into the study Before long came a
second visitor Mr Quarmby who joined Yule and Hinks The three had all sat
together for some time when Marian who happened to be coming down stairs saw
her father at the study door
»Ask your mother to let us have some supper at a quarter to ten« he said
urbanely »And come in wont you We are only gossiping«
It had not often happened that Marian was invited to join parties of this
kind
»Do you wish me to come« she asked
»Yes I should like you to if you have nothing particular to do«
Marian informed Mrs Yule that the visitors would have supper and then went
to the study Mr Quarmby was smoking a pipe Mr Hinks who on grounds of economy
had long since given up tobacco sat with his hands in his trouser pockets and
his long thin legs tucked beneath the chair both rose and greeted Marian with
more than ordinary warmth
»Will you allow me five or six puffs« asked Mr Quarmby laying one hand on
his ample stomach and elevating his pipe as if it were a glass of beaded liquor
»I shall then have done«
»As many more as you like« Marian replied
The easiest chair was placed for her Mr Hinks hastening to perform this
courtesy and her father apprised her of the topic they were discussing
»Whats your view Marian Is there anything to be said for the
establishment of a literary academy in England«
Mr Quarmby beamed benevolently upon her and Mr Hinks his scraggy neck at
full length awaited her reply with a look of the most respectful attention
»I really think we have quite enough literary quarrelling as it is« the
girl replied casting down her eyes and smiling
Mr Quarmby uttered a hollow chuckle Mr Hinks laughed thinly and exclaimed
»Very good indeed Very good« Yule affected to applaud with impartial smile
»It wouldnt harmonise with the AngloSaxon spirit« remarked Mr Hinks with
an air of diffident profundity
Yule held forth on the subject for a few minutes in laboured phrases
Presently the conversation turned to periodicals and the three men were
unanimous in an opinion that no existing monthly or quarterly could be
considered as representing the best literary opinion
»We want« remarked Mr Quarmby »we want a monthly review which shall deal
exclusively with literature The Fortnightly the Contemporary they are very
well in their way but then they are mere miscellanies You will find one solid
literary article amid a confused mass of politics and economics and general
claptrap«
»Articles on the currency and railway statistics and views of evolution«
said Mr Hinks with a look as if something were grating between his teeth
»The quarterlies« put in Yule »Well the original idea of the quarterlies
was that there are not enough important books published to occupy solid
reviewers more than four times a year That may be true but then a literary
monthly would include much more than professed reviews Hinkss essays on the
historical drama would have come out in it very well or your Spanish Poets
Quarmby«
»I threw out the idea to Jedwood the other day« said Mr Quarmby »and he
seemed to nibble at it«
»Yes yes« came from Yule »but Jedwood has so many irons in the fire I
doubt if he has the necessary capital at command just now No doubt hes the
man if some capitalist would join him«
»No enormous capital needed« opined Mr Quarmby »The thing would pay its
way almost from the first It would take a place between the literary weeklies
and the quarterlies The former are too academic the latter too massive for
multitudes of people who yet have strong literary tastes Foreign publications
should be liberally dealt with But as Hinks says no meddling with the books
that are no books biblia abiblia nothing about essays on bimetallism and
treatises for or against vaccination«
Even here in the freedom of a friends study he laughed his Readingroom
laugh folding both hands upon his expansive waistcoat
»Fiction I presume a serial of the better kind might be admitted« said
Yule
»That would be advisable no doubt But strictly of the better kind«
»Oh strictly of the better kind« chimed in Mr Hinks
They pursued the discussion as if they were an editorial committee planning
a review of which the first number was shortly to appear It occupied them until
Mrs Yule announced at the door that supper was ready
During the meal Marian found herself the object of unusual attention her
father troubled to inquire if the cut of cold beef he sent her was to her taste
and kept an eye on her progress Mr Hinks talked to her in a tone of respectful
sympathy and Mr Quarmby was paternally jovial when he addressed her Mrs Yule
would have kept silence in her ordinary way but this evening her husband made
several remarks which he had adapted to her intellect and even showed that a
reply would be graciously received
Mother and daughter remained together when the men withdrew to their tobacco
and toddy Neither made allusion to the wonderful change but they talked more
lightheartedly than for a long time
On the morrow Yule began by consulting Marian with regard to the disposition
of matter in an essay he was writing What she said he weighed carefully and
seemed to think that she had set his doubts at rest
»Poor old Hinks« he said presently with a sigh »Breaking up isnt he He
positively totters in his walk Im afraid hes the kind of man to have a
paralytic stroke it wouldnt astonish me to hear at any moment that he was
lying helpless«
»What ever would become of him in that case«
»Goodness knows One might ask the same of so many of us What would become
of me for instance if I were incapable of work«
Marian could make no reply
»Theres something Ill just mention to you« he went on in a lowered tone
»though I dont wish you to take it too seriously Im beginning to have a
little trouble with my eyes«
She looked at him startled
»With your eyes«
»Nothing I hope but well I think I shall see an oculist One doesnt
care to face a prospect of failing sight perhaps of cataract or something of
that kind still its better to know the facts I should say«
»By all means go to an oculist« said Marian earnestly
»Dont disturb yourself about it It may be nothing at all But in any case
I must change my glasses«
He rustled over some slips of manuscript whilst Marian regarded him
anxiously
»Now I appeal to you Marian« he continued »could I possibly save money
out of an income that has never exceeded two hundred and fifty pounds and often
I mean even in latter years has been much less«
»I dont see how you could«
»In one way of course I have managed it My life is insured for five
hundred pounds But that is no provision for possible disablement If I could no
longer earn money with my pen what would become of me«
Marian could have made an encouraging reply but did not venture to utter
her thoughts
»Sit down« said her father »You are not to work for a few days and I
myself shall be none the worse for a mornings rest Poor old Hinks I suppose
we shall help him among us somehow Quarmby of course is comparatively
flourishing Well we have been companions for a quarter of a century we three
When I first met Quarmby I was a Grub Street gazetteer and I think he was even
poorer than I A life of toil A life of toil«
»That it has been indeed«
»Bytheby« he threw an arm over the back of his chair »what did you
think of our imaginary review the thing we were talking about last night«
»There are so many periodicals« replied Marian doubtfully
»So many My dear child if we live another ten years we shall see the
number trebled«
»Is it desirable«
»That there should be such growth of periodicals Well from one point of
view no No doubt they take up the time which some people would give to solid
literature But on the other hand theres a far greater number of people who
would probably not read at all but for the temptations of these short and new
articles and they may be induced to pass on to substantial works Of course it
all depends on the quality of the periodical matter you offer Now magazines
like« he named two or three of popular stamp »might very well be dispensed
with unless one regards them as an alternative to the talking of scandal or any
other vicious result of total idleness But such a monthly as we projected would
be of distinct literary value There can be no doubt that someone or other will
shortly establish it«
»I am afraid« said Marian »I havent so much sympathy with literary
undertakings as you would like me to have«
Money is a great fortifier of selfrespect Since she had become really
conscious of her position as the owner of five thousand pounds Marian spoke
with a steadier voice walked with firmer step mentally she felt herself
altogether a less dependent being She might have confessed this lukewarmness
towards literary enterprise in the anger which her father excited eight or nine
days ago but at that time she could not have uttered her opinion calmly
deliberately as now The smile which accompanied the words was also new it
signified deliverance from pupilage
»I have felt that« returned her father after a slight pause to command his
voice that it might be suave instead of scornful »I greatly fear that I have
made your life something of a martyrdom «
»Dont think I meant that father I am speaking only of the general
question I cant be quite so zealous as you are thats all I love books but
I could wish people were content for a while with those we already have«
»My dear Marian dont suppose that I am out of sympathy with you here
Alas how much of my work has been mere drudgery mere labouring for a
livelihood How gladly I would have spent much more of my time among the great
authors with no thought of making money of them If I speak approvingly of a
scheme for a new periodical it is greatly because of my necessities«
He paused and looked at her Marian returned the look
»You would of course write for it« she said
»Marian why shouldnt I edit it Why shouldnt it be your property«
»My property «
She checked a laugh There came into her mind a more disagreeable suspicion
than she had ever entertained of her father Was this the meaning of his
softened behaviour Was he capable of calculated hypocrisy That did not seem
consistent with his character as she knew it
»Let us talk it over« said Yule He was in visible agitation and his voice
shook »The idea may well startle you at first It will seem to you that I
propose to make away with your property before you have even come into
possession of it« He laughed »But in fact what I have in mind is merely an
investment for your capital and that an admirable one Five thousand pounds at
three per cent one doesnt care to reckon on more represents a hundred and
fifty a year Now there can be very little doubt that if it were invested in
literary property such as I have in mind it would bring you five times that
interest and before long perhaps much more Of course I am now speaking in the
roughest outline I should have to get trustworthy advice complete and detailed
estimates would be submitted to you At present I merely suggest to you this
form of investment«
He watched her face eagerly greedily When Marians eyes rose to his he
looked away
»Then of course« she said »you dont expect me to give any decided
answer«
»Of course not of course not I merely put before you the chief advantages
of such an investment As I am a selfish old fellow Ill talk about the benefit
to myself first of all I should be editor of the new review I should draw a
stipend sufficient to all my needs quite content at first to take far less
than another man would ask and to progress with the advance of the periodical
This position would enable me to have done with mere drudgery I should only
write when I felt called to do so when the spirit moved me« Again he laughed
as though desirous of keeping his listener in good humour »My eyes would be
greatly spared henceforth«
He dwelt on that point waiting its effect on Marian As she said nothing he
proceeded
»And suppose I really were doomed to lose my sight in the course of a few
years am I wrong in thinking that the proprietor of this periodical would
willingly grant a small annuity to the man who had firmly established it«
»I see the force of all that« said Marian »but it takes for granted that
the periodical will be successful«
»It does In the hands of a publisher like Jedwood a vigorous man of the
new school its success could scarcely be doubtful«
»Do you think five thousand pounds would be enough to start such a review«
»Well I can say nothing definite on that point For one thing the coat
must be made according to the cloth expenditure can be largely controlled
without endangering success Then again I think Jedwood would take a share in
the venture These are details At present I only want to familiarise you with
the thought that an investment of this sort will very probably offer itself to
you«
»It would be better if we called it a speculation« said Marian smiling
uneasily
Her one object at present was to oblige her father to understand that the
suggestion by no means lured her She could not tell him that what he proposed
was out of the question though as yet that was the light in which she saw it
His subtlety of approach had made her feel justified in dealing with him in a
matteroffact way He must see that she was not to be cajoled Obviously and
in the nature of the case he was urging a proposal in which he himself had all
faith but Marian knew his judgment was far from infallible It mitigated her
sense of behaving unkindly to reflect that in all likelihood this disposal of
her money would be the worst possible for her own interests and therefore for
his If indeed his dark forebodings were warranted then upon her would fall
the care of him and the steadiness with which she faced that responsibility
came from a hope of which she could not speak
»Name it as you will« returned her father hardly suppressing a note of
irritation »True every commercial enterprise is a speculation But let me ask
you one question and beg you to reply frankly Do you distrust my ability to
conduct this periodical«
She did She knew that he was not in touch with the interests of the day
and that all manner of considerations akin to the prime end of selling his
review would make him an untrustworthy editor But how could she tell him this
»My opinion would be worthless« she replied
»If Jedwood were disposed to put confidence in me you also would«
»Theres no need to talk of that now father Indeed I cant say anything
that would sound like a promise«
He flashed a glance at her Then she was more than doubtful
»But you have no objection Marian to talk in a friendly way of a project
that would mean so much to me«
»But I am afraid to encourage you« she replied frankly »It is impossible
for me to say whether I can do as you wish or not«
»Yes yes I perfectly understand that Heaven forbid that I should regard
you as a child to be led independently of your own views and wishes With so
large a sum of money at stake it would be monstrous if I acted rashly and
tried to persuade you to do the same The matter will have to be most gravely
considered«
»Yes« She spoke mechanically
»But if only it should come to something You dont know what it would mean
to me Marian«
»Yes father I know very well how you think and feel about it«
»Do you« he leaned forward his features working under stress of emotion
»If I could see myself the editor of an influential review all my bygone toils
and sufferings would be as nothing I should rejoice in them as the steps to
this triumph Meminisse juvabit My dear I am not a man fitted for subordinate
places My nature is framed for authority The failure of all my undertakings
rankles so in my heart that sometimes I feel capable of every brutality every
meanness every hateful cruelty To you I have behaved shamefully Dont
interrupt me Marian I have treated you abominably my child my dear daughter
and all the time with a full sense of what I was doing Thats the punishment
of faults such as mine I hate myself for every harsh word and angry look I have
given you at the time I hated myself«
»Father «
»No no let me speak Marian You have forgiven me I know it You were
always ready to forgive dear Can I ever forget that evening when I spoke like
a brute and you came afterwards and addressed me as if the wrong had been on
your side It burns in my memory It wasnt I who spoke it was the demon of
failure of humiliation My enemies sit in triumph and scorn at me the thought
of it is infuriating Have I deserved this Am I the inferior of of those men
who have succeeded and now try to trample on me No I am not I have a better
brain and a better heart«
Listening to this strange outpouring Marian more than forgave the hypocrisy
of the last day or two Nay could it be called hypocrisy It was only his
better self declared at the impulse of a passionate hope
»Why should you think so much of these troubles father Is it such a great
matter that narrowminded people triumph over you«
»Narrowminded« He clutched at the word »You admit they are that«
»I feel very sure that Mr Fadge is«
»Then you are not on his side against me«
»How could you suppose such a thing«
»Well well we wont talk of that Perhaps it isnt a great matter No
from a philosophical point of view such things are unspeakably petty But I am
not much of a philosopher« He laughed with a break in his voice »Defeat in
life is defeat after all and unmerited failure is a bitter curse You see I
am not too old to do something yet My sight is failing but I can take care of
it If I had my own review I would write every now and then a critical paper in
my very best style You remember poor old Hinkss note about me in his book We
laughed at it but he wasnt so far wrong I have many of those qualities A man
is conscious of his own merits as well as of his defects I have done a few
admirable things You remember my paper on Lord Herbert of Cherbury No one ever
wrote a more subtle piece of criticism but it was swept aside among the rubbish
of the magazines And its just because of my pungent phrases that I have
excited so much enmity Wait Wait Let me have my own review and leisure and
satisfaction of mind heavens what I will write How I will scarify«
»That is unworthy of you How much better to ignore your enemies In such a
position I should carefully avoid every word that betrayed personal feeling«
»Well well you are of course right my good girl And I believe I should
do injustice to myself if I made you think that those ignoble motives are the
strongest in me No it isnt so From my boyhood I have had a passionate desire
of literary fame deep down below all the surface faults of my character The
best of my life has gone by and it drives me to despair when I feel that I have
not gained the position due to me There is only one way of doing this now and
that is by becoming the editor of an important periodical Only in that way
shall I succeed in forcing people to pay attention to my claims Many a man goes
to his grave unrecognised just because he has never had a fair judgment
Nowadays it is the unscrupulous men of business who hold the attention of the
public they blow their trumpets so loudly that the voices of honest men have no
chance of being heard«
Marian was pained by the humility of his pleading with her for what was
all this but an endeavour to move her sympathies and by the necessity she was
under of seeming to turn a deaf ear She believed that there was some truth in
his estimate of his own powers though as an editor he would almost certainly
fail as a man of letters he had probably done far better work than some who had
passed him by on their way to popularity Circumstances might enable her to
assist him though not in the way he proposed The worst of it was that she
could not let him see what was in her mind He must think that she was simply
balancing her own satisfaction against his when in truth she suffered from the
conviction that to yield would be as unwise in regard to her fathers future as
it would be perilous to her own prospect of happiness
»Shall we leave this to be talked of when the money has been paid over to
me« she said after a silence
»Yes Dont suppose I wish to influence you by dwelling on my own hardships
That would be contemptible I have only taken this opportunity of making myself
better known to you I dont readily talk of myself and in general my real
feelings are hidden by the faults of my temper In suggesting how you could do
me a great service and at the same time reap advantage for yourself I couldnt
but remember how little reason you have to think kindly of me But we will
postpone further talk You will think over what I have said«
Marian promised that she would and was glad to bring the conversation to an
end
When Sunday came Yule inquired of his daughter if she had any engagement
for the afternoon
»Yes I have« she replied with an effort to disguise her embarrassment
»Im sorry I thought of asking you to come with me to Quarmbys Shall you
be away through the evening«
»Till about nine oclock I think«
»Ah Never mind never mind«
He tried to dismiss the matter as if it were of no moment but Marian saw
the shadow that passed over his countenance This was just after breakfast For
the remainder of the morning she did not meet him and at the midday dinner he
was silent though he brought no book to the table with him as he was wont to
do when in his dark moods Marian talked with her mother doing her best to
preserve the appearance of cheerfulness which was natural since the change in
Yules demeanour
She chanced to meet her father in the passage just as she was going out He
smiled it was more like a grin of pain and nodded but said nothing
When the front door closed he went into the parlour Mrs Yule was reading
or at all events turning over a volume of an illustrated magazine
»Where do you suppose she has gone« he asked in a voice which was only
distant not offensive
»To the Miss Milvains I believe« Mrs Yule answered looking aside
»Did she tell you so«
»No We dont talk about it«
He seated himself on the corner of a chair and bent forward his chin in his
hand
»Has she said anything to you about the review«
»Not a word«
She glanced at him timidly and turned a few pages of her book
»I wanted her to come to Quarmbys because therell be a man there who is
anxious that Jedwood should start a magazine and it would be useful for her to
hear practical opinions Thered be no harm if you just spoke to her about it
now and then Of course if she has made up her mind to refuse me its no use
troubling myself any more I should think you might find out whats really going
on«
Only dire stress of circumstances could have brought Alfred Yule to make
distinct appeal for his wifes help There was no underhand plotting between
them to influence their daughter Mrs Yule had as much desire for the happiness
of her husband as for that of Marian but she felt powerless to effect anything
on either side
»If she ever says anything Ill let you know«
»But it seems to me that you have a right to question her«
»I cant do that Alfred«
»Unfortunately there are a good many things you cant do«
With that remark familiar to his wife in substance though the tone of it
was less caustic than usual he rose and sauntered from the room He spent a
gloomy hour in the study then went off to join the literary circle at Mr
Quarmbys
Chapter 24
Jaspers Magnanimity
Occasionally Milvain met his sisters as they came out of church on Sunday
morning and walked home to have dinner with them He did so today though the
sky was cheerless and a strong northwest wind made it anything but agreeable to
wait about in open spaces
»Are you going to Mrs Wrights this afternoon« he asked as they went on
together
»I thought of going« replied Maud »Marian will be with Dora«
»You ought both to go You mustnt neglect that woman«
He said nothing more just then but when presently he was alone with Dora in
the sittingroom for a few minutes he turned with a peculiar smile and remarked
quietly
»I think you had better go with Maud this afternoon«
»But I cant I expect Marian at three«
»Thats just why I want you to go«
She looked her surprise
»I want to have a talk with Marian Well manage it in this way At a
quarter to three you two shall start and as you go out you can tell the
landlady that if Miss Yule comes she is to wait for you as you wont be long
Shell come upstairs and I shall be there You see«
Dora turned half away disturbed a little but not displeased
»And what about Miss Rupert« she asked
»Oh Miss Rupert may go to Jericho for all I care Im in a magnanimous
mood«
»Very Ive no doubt«
»Well youll do this One of the results of poverty you see one cant
even have a private conversation with a friend without plotting to get the use
of a room But there shall be an end of this state of things«
He nodded significantly Thereupon Dora left the room to speak with her
sister
The device was put into execution and Jasper saw his sisters depart knowing
that they were not likely to return for some three hours He seated himself
comfortably by the fire and mused Five minutes had hardly gone by when he
looked at his watch thinking Marian must be unpunctual He was nervous though
he had believed himself secure against such weakness His presence here with the
purpose he had in his mind seemed to him distinctly a concession to impulses he
ought to have controlled but to this resolve he had come and it was now too
late to recommence the arguments with himself Too late Well not strictly so
he had committed himself to nothing up to the last moment of freedom he could
always
That was doubtless Marians knock at the front door He jumped up walked
the length of the room sat down on another chair returned to his former seat
Then the door opened and Marian came in
She was not surprised the landlady had mentioned to her that Mr Milvain was
upstairs waiting the return of his sisters
»I am to make Doras excuses« Jasper said »She begged you would forgive
her that you would wait«
»Oh yes«
»And you were to be sure to take off your hat« he added in a laughing tone
»and to let me put your umbrella in the corner like that«
He had always admired the shape of Marians head and the beauty of her
short soft curly hair As he watched her uncovering it he was pleased with
the grace of her arms and the pliancy of her slight figure
»Which is usually your chair«
»Im sure I dont know«
»When one goes to see a friend frequently one gets into regular habits in
these matters In Biffens garret I used to have the most uncomfortable chair it
was ever my lot to sit upon still I came to feel an affection for it At
Reardons I always had what was supposed to be the most luxurious seat but it
was too small for me and I eyed it resentfully on sitting down and rising«
»Have you any news about the Reardons«
»Yes I am told that Reardon has had the offer of a secretaryship to a boys
home or something of the kind at Croydon But I suppose therell be no need
for him to think of that now«
»Surely not«
»Oh theres no saying«
»Why should he do work of that kind now«
»Perhaps his wife will tell him that she wants her money all for herself«
Marian laughed It was very rarely that Jasper had heard her laugh at all
and never so spontaneously as this He liked the music
»You havent a very good opinion of Mrs Reardon« she said
»She is a difficult person to judge I never disliked her by any means but
she was decidedly out of place as the wife of a struggling author Perhaps I
have been a little prejudiced against her since Reardon quarrelled with me on
her account«
Marian was astonished at this unlookedfor explanation of the rupture
between Milvain and his friend That they had not seen each other for some
months she knew from Jasper himself but no definite cause had been assigned
»I may as well let you know all about it« Milvain continued seeing that he
had disconcerted the girl as he meant to »I met Reardon not long after they
had parted and he charged me with being in great part the cause of his
troubles«
The listener did not raise her eyes
»You would never imagine what my fault was Reardon declared that the tone
of my conversation had been morally injurious to his wife He said I was always
glorifying worldly success and that this had made her discontented with her
lot Sounds rather ludicrous dont you think«
»It was very strange«
»Reardon was in desperate earnest poor fellow And to tell you the truth
I fear there may have been something in his complaint I told him at once that I
should henceforth keep away from Mrs Edmund Yules and so I have done with the
result of course that they suppose I condemn Mrs Reardons behaviour The
affair was a nuisance but I had no choice I think«
»You say that perhaps your talk really was harmful to her«
»It may have been though such a danger never occurred to me«
»Then Amy must be very weakminded«
»To be influenced by such a paltry fellow«
»To be influenced by anyone in such a way«
»You think the worse of me for this story« Jasper asked
»I dont quite understand it How did you talk to her«
»As I talk to everyone You have heard me say the same things many a time I
simply declare my opinion that the end of literary work unless one is a man of
genius is to secure comfort and repute This doesnt seem to me very
scandalous But Mrs Reardon was perhaps too urgent in repeating such views to
her husband She saw that in my case they were likely to have solid results and
it was a misery to her that Reardon couldnt or wouldnt work in the same
practical way«
»It was very unfortunate«
»And you are inclined to blame me«
»No because I am so sure that you only spoke in the way natural to you
without a thought of such consequences«
Jasper smiled
»Thats precisely the truth Nearly all men who have their way to make think
as I do but most feel obliged to adopt a false tone to talk about literary
conscientiousness and so on I simply say what I think with no pretences I
should like to be conscientious but its a luxury I cant afford Ive told you
all this often enough you know«
»Yes«
»But it hasnt been morally injurious to you« he said with a laugh
»Not at all Still I dont like it«
Jasper was startled He gazed at her Ought he then to have dealt with her
less frankly Had he been mistaken in thinking that the unusual openness of his
talk was attractive to her She spoke with quite unaccustomed decision indeed
he had noticed from her entrance that there was something unfamiliar in her way
of conversing She was so much more selfpossessed than of wont and did not
seem to treat him with the same deference the same subdual of her own
personality
»You dont like it« he repeated calmly »It has become rather tiresome to
you«
»I feel sorry that you should always represent yourself in an unfavourable
light«
He was an acute man but the selfconfidence with which he had entered upon
this dialogue his conviction that he had but to speak when he wished to receive
assurance of Marians devotion prevented him from understanding the tone of
independence she had suddenly adopted With more modesty he would have felt more
subtly at this juncture would have divined that the girl had an exquisite
pleasure in drawing back now that she saw him approaching her with unmistakable
purpose that she wished to be wooed in less offhand fashion before confessing
what was in her heart For the moment he was disconcerted Those last words of
hers had a slight tone of superiority the last thing he would have expected
upon her lips
»Yet I surely havent always appeared so to you« he said
»No not always«
»But you are in doubt concerning the real man«
»Im not sure that I understand you You say that you do really think as you
speak«
»So I do I think that there is no choice for a man who cant bear poverty
I have never said though that I had pleasure in mean necessities I accept
them because I cant help it«
It was a delight to Marian to observe the anxiety with which he turned to
selfdefence Never in her life had she felt this joy of holding a position of
command It was nothing to her that Jasper valued her more because of her money
impossible for it to be otherwise Satisfied that he did value her to begin
with for her own sake she was very willing to accept money as her ally in the
winning of his love He scarcely loved her yet as she understood the feeling
but she perceived her power over him and passion taught her how to exert it
»But you resign yourself very cheerfully to the necessity« she said
looking at him with merely intellectual eyes
»You had rather I lamented my fate in not being able to devote myself to
nobly unremunerative work«
There was a note of irony here It caused her a tremor but she held her
position
»That you never do so would make one think but I wont speak unkindly«
»That I neither care for good work nor am capable of it« Jasper finished
her sentence »I shouldnt have thought it would make you think so«
Instead of replying she turned her look towards the door There was a
footstep on the stairs but it passed
»I thought it might be Dora« she said
»She wont be here for another couple of hours at least« replied Jasper
with a slight smile
»But you said «
»I sent her to Mrs Boston Wrights that I might have an opportunity of
talking to you Will you forgive the stratagem«
Marian resumed her former attitude the faintest smile hovering about her
lips
»Im glad theres plenty of time« he continued »I begin to suspect that
you have been misunderstanding me of late I must set that right«
»I dont think I have misunderstood you«
»That may mean something very disagreeable I know that some people whom I
esteem have a very poor opinion of me but I cant allow you to be one of them
What do I seem to you What is the result on your mind of all our
conversations«
»I have already told you«
»Not seriously Do you believe I am capable of generous feeling«
»To say no would be to put you in the lowest class of men and that a very
small one«
»Good Then I am not among the basest But that doesnt give me very
distinguished claims upon your consideration Whatever I am I aim high in some
of my ambitions«
»Which of them«
»For instance I have been daring enough to hope that you might love me«
Marian delayed for a moment then said quietly
»Why do you call that daring«
»Because I have enough of oldfashioned thought to believe that a woman who
is worthy of a mans love is higher than he and condescends in giving herself
to him«
His voice was not convincing the phrase did not sound natural on his lips
It was not thus that she had hoped to hear him speak Whilst he expressed
himself thus conventionally he did not love her as she desired to be loved
»I dont hold that view« she said
»It doesnt surprise me You are very reserved on all subjects and we have
never spoken of this but of course I know that your thought is never
commonplace Hold what view you like of womans position that doesnt affect
mine«
»Is yours commonplace then«
»Desperately Love is a very old and common thing and I believe I love you
in the old and common way I think you beautiful you seem to me womanly in the
best sense full of charm and sweetness I know myself a coarse being in
comparison All this has been felt and said in the same way by men infinite in
variety Must I find some new expression before you can believe me«
Marian kept silence
»I know what you are thinking« he said »The thought is as inevitable as my
consciousness of it«
For an instant she looked at him
»Yes you look the thought Why have I not spoken to you in this way before
Why have I waited until you are obliged to suspect my sincerity«
»My thought is not so easily read then« said Marian
»To be sure it hasnt a gross form but I know you wish whatever your real
feelings towards me that I had spoken a fortnight ago You would wish that of
any man in my position merely because it is painful to you to see a possible
insincerity Well I am not insincere I have thought of you as of no other
woman for some time But yes you shall have the plain coarse truth which is
good in its way no doubt I was afraid to say that I loved you You dont
flinch so far so good Now what harm is there in this confession In the
common course of things I shouldnt be in a position to marry for perhaps three
or four years and even then marriage would mean difficulties restraints
obstacles I have always dreaded the thought of marriage with a poor income You
remember
Love in a hut with water and a crust
Is Love forgive us cinders ashes dust
You know that is true«
»Not always I dare say«
»But for the vast majority of mortals Theres the instance of the Reardons
They were in love with each other if ever two people were but poverty ruined
everything I am not in the confidence of either of them but I feel sure each
has wished the other dead What else was to be expected Should I have dared to
take a wife in my present circumstances a wife as poor as myself«
»You will be in a much better position before long« said Marian »If you
loved me why should you have been afraid to ask me to have confidence in your
future«
»Its all so uncertain It may be another ten years before I can count on an
income of five or six hundred pounds if I have to struggle on in the common
way«
»But tell me what is your aim in life What do you understand by success«
»Yes I will tell you My aim is to have easy command of all the pleasures
desired by a cultivated man I want to live among beautiful things and never to
be troubled by a thought of vulgar difficulties I want to travel and enrich my
mind in foreign countries I want to associate on equal terms with refined and
interesting people I want to be known to be familiarly referred to to feel
when I enter a room that people regard me with some curiosity«
He looked steadily at her with bright eyes
»And thats all« asked Marian
»That is very much Perhaps you dont know how I suffer in feeling myself at
a disadvantage My instincts are strongly social yet I cant be at my ease in
society simply because I cant do justice to myself Want of money makes me the
inferior of the people I talk with though I might be superior to them in most
things I am ignorant in many ways and merely because I am poor Imagine my
never having been out of England It shames me when people talk familiarly of
the Continent So with regard to all manner of amusements and pursuits at home
Impossible for me to appear among my acquaintances at the theatre at concerts
I am perpetually at a disadvantage I havent fair play Suppose me possessed of
money enough to live a full and active life for the next five years why at the
end of that time my position would be secure To him that hath shall be given
you know how universally true that is«
»And yet« came in a low voice from Marian »you say that you love me«
»You mean that I speak as if no such thing as love existed But you asked me
what I understood by success I am speaking of worldly things Now suppose I had
said to you My one aim and desire in life is to win your love Could you have
believed me Such phrases are always untrue I dont know how it can give anyone
pleasure to hear them But if I say to you All the satisfactions I have
described would be immensely heightened if they were shared with a woman who
loved me there is the simple truth«
Marians heart sank She did not want truth such as this she would have
preferred that he should utter the poor common falsehoods Hungry for
passionate love she heard with a sense of desolation all this calm reasoning
That Jasper was of cold temperament she had often feared yet there was always
the consoling thought that she did not see with perfect clearness into his
nature Now and then had come a flash a hint of possibilities She had looked
forward with trembling eagerness to some sudden revelation but it seemed as if
he knew no word of the language which would have called such joyous response
from her expectant soul
»We have talked for a long time« she said turning her head as if his last
words were of no significance »As Dora is not coming I think I will go now«
She rose and went towards the chair on which lay her outofdoor things At
once Jasper stepped to her side
»You will go without giving me any answer«
»Answer To what«
»Will you be my wife«
»It is too soon to ask me that«
»Too soon Havent you known for months that I thought of you with far more
than friendliness«
»How was it possible I should know that You have explained to me why you
would not let your real feelings be understood«
The reproach was merited and not easy to be outfaced He turned away for an
instant then with a sudden movement caught both her hands
»Whatever I have done or said or thought in the past that is of no account
now I love you Marian I want you to be my wife I have never seen any other
girl who impressed me as you did from the first If I had been weak enough to
try to win anyone but you I should have known that I had turned aside from the
path of my true happiness Let us forget for a moment all our circumstances I
hold your hands and look into your face and say that I love you Whatever
answer you give I love you«
Till now her heart had only fluttered a little it was a great part of her
distress that the love she had so long nurtured seemed shrinking together into
some far corner of her being whilst she listened to the discourses which
prefaced Jaspers declaration She was nervous painfully selfconscious
touched with maidenly shame but could not abandon herself to that delicious
emotion which ought to have been the fulfilment of all her secret imaginings
Now at length there began a throbbing in her bosom Keeping her face averted
her eyes cast down she waited for a repetitition of the note that was in that
last I love you She felt a change in the hands that held hers a warmth a
moist softness it caused a shock through her veins
He was trying to draw her nearer but she kept at full arms length and
looked irresponsive
»Marian«
She wished to answer but a spirit of perversity held her tongue
»Marian dont you love me Or have I offended you by my way of speaking«
Persisting she at length withdrew her hands Jaspers face expressed
something like dismay
»You have not offended me« she said »But I am not sure that you dont
deceive yourself in thinking for the moment that I am necessary to your
happiness«
The emotional current which had passed from her flesh to his whilst their
hands were linked made him incapable of standing aloof from her He saw that her
face and neck were warmer hued and her beauty became more desirable to him than
ever yet
»You are more to me than anything else in the compass of life« he
exclaimed again pressing forward »I think of nothing but you you yourself
my beautiful gentle thoughtful Marian«
His arm captured her and she did not resist A sob then a strange little
laugh betrayed the passion that was at length unfolded in her
»You do love me Marian«
»I love you«
And there followed the antiphony of ardour that finds its first utterance
a subdued music often interrupted ever returning upon the same rich note
Marian closed her eyes and abandoned herself to the luxury of the dream It
was her first complete escape from the world of intellectual routine her first
taste of life All the pedantry of her daily toil slipped away like a cumbrous
garment she was clad only in her womanhood Once or twice a shudder of strange
selfconsciousness went through her and she felt guilty immodest but upon
that sensation followed a surge of passionate joy obliterating memory and
forethought
»How shall I see you« Jasper asked at length »Where can we meet«
It was a difficulty The season no longer allowed lingerings under the open
sky but Marian could not go to his lodgings and it seemed impossible for him
to visit her at her home
»Will your father persist in unfriendliness to me«
She was only just beginning to reflect on all that was involved in this new
relation
»I have no hope that he will change« she said sadly
»He will refuse to countenance your marriage«
»I shall disappoint him and grieve him bitterly He has asked me to use my
money in starting a new review«
»Which he is to edit«
»Yes Do you think there would be any hope of its success«
Jasper shook his head
»Your father is not the man for that Marian I dont say it
disrespectfully I mean that he doesnt seem to me to have that kind of
aptitude It would be a disastrous speculation«
»I felt that Of course I cant think of it now«
She smiled raising her face to his
»Dont trouble« said Jasper »Wait a little till I have made myself
independent of Fadge and a few other men and your father shall see how heartily
I wish to be of use to him He will miss your help Im afraid«
»Yes I shall feel it a cruelty when I have to leave him He has only just
told me that his sight is beginning to fail Oh why didnt his brother leave
him a little money It was such unkindness Surely he had a much better right
than Amy or than myself either But literature has been a curse to father all
his life My uncle hated it and I suppose that was why he left father nothing«
»But how am I to see you often Thats the first question I know what I
shall do I must take new lodgings for the girls and myself all in the same
house We must have two sittingrooms then you will come to my room without any
difficulty These astonishing proprieties are so easily satisfied after all«
»You will really do that«
»Yes I shall go and look for rooms tomorrow Then when you come you can
always ask for Maud or Dora you know They will be very glad of a change to
more respectable quarters«
»I wont stay to see them now Jasper« said Marian her thoughts turning to
the girls
»Very well You are safe for another hour but to make certain you shall go
at a quarter to five Your mother wont be against us«
»Poor mother no But she wont dare to justify me before father«
»I feel as if I should play a mean part in leaving it to you to tell your
father Marian I will brave it out and go and see him«
»Oh it would be better not to«
»Then I will write to him such a letter as he cant possibly take in ill
part«
Marian pondered this proposal
»You shall do that Jasper if you are willing But not yet presently«
»You dont wish him to know at once«
»We had better wait a little You know« she added laughing »that my legacy
is only in name mine as yet The will hasnt been proved And then the money
will have to be realised«
She informed him of the details Jasper listened with his eyes on the
ground
They were now sitting on chairs drawn close to each other It was with a
sense of relief that Jasper had passed from dithyrambs to conversation on
practical points Marians excited sensitiveness could not but observe this and
she kept watching the motions of his countenance At length he even let go her
hand
»You would prefer« he said reflectively »that nothing should be said to
your father until that business is finished«
»If you consent to it«
»Oh I have no doubt its as well«
Her little phrase of selfsubjection and its tremulous tone called for
another answer than this Jasper fell again into thought and clearly it was
thought of practical things
»I think I must go now Jasper« she said
»Must you Well if you had rather«
He rose though she was still seated Marian moved a few steps away but
turned and approached him again
»Do you really love me« she asked taking one of his hands and folding it
between her own
»I do indeed love you Marian Are you still doubtful«
»Youre not sorry that I must go«
»But I am dearest I wish we could sit here undisturbed all through the
evening«
Her touch had the same effect as before His blood warmed again and he
pressed her to his side stroking her hair and kissing her forehead
»Are you sorry I wear my hair short« she asked longing for more praise
than he had bestowed on her
»Sorry It is perfect Everything else seems vulgar compared with this way
of yours How strange you would look with plaits and that kind of thing«
»I am so glad it pleases you«
»There is nothing in you that doesnt please me my thoughtful girl«
»You called me that before Do I seem so very thoughtful«
»So grave and sweetly reserved and with eyes so full of meaning«
She quivered with delight her face hidden against his breast
»I seem to be newborn Jasper Everything in the world is new to me and I
am strange to myself I have never known an hour of happiness till now and I
cant believe yet that it has come to me«
She at length attired herself and they left the house together of course
not unobserved by the landlady Jasper walked about half the way to St Pauls
Crescent It was arranged that he should address a letter for her to the care of
his sisters but in a day or two the change of lodgings would be effected
When they had parted Marian looked back But Jasper was walking quickly
away his head bent in profound meditation
Chapter 25
A Fruitless Meeting
Refuge from despair is often found in the passion of selfpity and that spirit
of obstinate resistance which it engenders In certain natures the extreme of
selfpity is intolerable and leads to selfdestruction but there are less
fortunate beings whom the vehemence of their revolt against fate strengthens to
endure in suffering These latter are rather imaginative than passionate the
stages of their woe impress them as the acts of a drama which they cannot bring
themselves to cut short so various are the possibilities of its dark motive
The intellectual man who kills himself is most often brought to that decision by
conviction of his insignificance selfpity merges in selfscorn and the
humiliated soul is intolerant of existence He who survives under like
conditions does so because misery magnifies him in his own estimate
It was by force of commiserating his own lot that Edwin Reardon continued to
live through the first month after his parting from Amy Once or twice a week
sometimes early in the evening sometimes at midnight or later he haunted the
street at Westbourne Park where his wife was dwelling and on each occasion he
returned to his garret with a fortified sense of the injustice to which he was
submitted of revolt against the circumstances which had driven him into outer
darkness of bitterness against his wife for saving her own comfort rather than
share his downfall At times he was not far from that state of sheer distraction
which Mrs Edmund Yule preferred to suppose that he had reached An extraordinary
arrogance now and then possessed him he stood amid his poor surroundings with
the sensations of an outraged exile and laughed aloud in furious contempt of
all who censured or pitied him
On hearing from Jasper Milvain that Amy had fallen ill or at all events was
suffering in health from what she had gone through he felt a momentary pang
which all but determined him to hasten to her side The reaction was a feeling
of distinct pleasure that she had her share of pain and even a hope that her
illness might become grave he pictured himself summoned to her sickchamber
imagined her begging his forgiveness But it was not merely nor in great part
a malicious satisfaction he succeeded in believing that Amy suffered because
she still had a remnant of love for him As the days went by and he heard
nothing disappointment and resentment occupied him At length he ceased to
haunt the neighbourhood His desires grew sullen he became fixed in the resolve
to hold entirely apart and doggedly await the issue
At the end of each month he sent half the money he had received from Carter
simply enclosing postal orders in an envelope addressed to his wife The first
two remittances were in no way acknowledged the third brought a short note from
Amy
»As you continue to send these sums of money I had perhaps better let
you know that I cannot use them for any purposes of my own Perhaps a
sense of duty leads you to make this sacrifice but I am afraid it is
more likely that you wish to remind me every month that you are
undergoing privations and to pain me in this way What you have sent I
have deposited in the Post Office Savings Bank in Willies name and I
shall continue to do so A R«
For a day or two Reardon persevered in an intention of not replying but the
desire to utter his turbid feelings became in the end too strong He wrote
»I regard it as quite natural that you should put the worst
interpretation on whatever I do As for my privations I think very
little of them they are a trifle in comparison with the thought that I
am forsaken just because my pocket is empty And I am far indeed from
thinking that you can be pained by whatever I may undergo that would
suppose some generosity in your nature«
This was no sooner posted than he would gladly have recalled it He knew that it
was undignified that it contained as many falsehoods as lines and he was
ashamed of himself for having written so But he could not pen a letter of
retraction and there remained with him a new cause of exasperated wretchedness
Excepting the people with whom he came in contact at the hospital he had no
society but that of Biffen The realist visited him once a week and this
friendship grew closer than it had been in the time of Reardons prosperity
Biffen was a man of so much natural delicacy that there was a pleasure in
imparting to him the details of private sorrow though profoundly sympathetic
he did his best to oppose Reardons harsher judgments of Amy and herein he gave
his friend a satisfaction which might not be avowed
»I really do not see« he exclaimed as they sat in the garret one night of
midsummer »how your wife would have acted otherwise Of course I am quite
unable to judge the attitude of her mind but I think I cant help thinking
from what I knew of her that there has been strictly a misunderstanding between
you It was a hard and miserable thing that she should have to leave you for a
time and you couldnt face the necessity in a just spirit Dont you think
theres some truth in this way of looking at it«
»As a woman it was her part to soften the hateful necessity she made it
worse«
»Im not sure that you dont demand too much of her Unhappily I know
little or nothing of delicatelybred women but I have a suspicion that one
oughtnt to expect heroism in them any more than in the women of the lower
classes I think of women as creatures to be protected Is a man justified in
asking them to be stronger than himself«
»Of course« replied Reardon »theres no use in demanding more than a
character is capable of But I believed her of finer stuff My bitterness comes
of the disappointment«
»I suppose there were faults of temper on both sides and you saw at least
only each others weaknesses«
»I saw the truth which had always been disguised from me«
Biffen persisted in looking doubtful and in secret Reardon thanked him for
it
As the realist progressed with his novel »Mr Bailey Grocer« he read the
chapters to Reardon not only for his own satisfaction but in great part
because he hoped that this example of productivity might in the end encourage
the listener to resume his own literary tasks Reardon found much to criticise
in his friends work it was noteworthy that he objected and condemned with much
less hesitation than in his better days for sensitive reticence is one of the
virtues wont to be assailed by suffering at all events in the weaker natures
Biffen purposely urged these discussions as far as possible and doubtless they
benefited Reardon for the time but the defeated novelist could not be induced
to undertake another practical illustration of his own views Occasionally he
had an impulse to plan a story but an hours turning it over in his mind
sufficed to disgust him His ideas seemed barren vapid it would have been
impossible for him to write half a dozen pages and the mere thought of a whole
book overcame him with the dread of insurmountable difficulties immeasurable
toil
In time however he was able to read He had pleasure in contemplating the
little collection of sterling books that alone remained to him from his library
the sight of many volumes would have been a weariness but these few when he
was again able to think of books at all were as friendly countenances He
could not read continuously but sometimes he opened his Shakespeare for
instance and dreamed over a page or two From such glimpses there remained in
his head a line or a short passage which he kept repeating to himself wherever
he went generally some example of sweet or sonorous metre which had a soothing
effect upon him
With odd result on one occasion He was walking in one of the back streets
of Islington and stopped idly to gaze into the window of some small shop
Standing thus he forgot himself and presently recited aloud
»Cæsar tis his schoolmaster
An argument that he is pluckd when hither
He sends so poor a pinion of his wing
Which had superfluous kings for messengers
Not many moons gone by«
The last two lines he uttered a second time enjoying their magnificent sound
and then was brought back to consciousness by the loud mocking laugh of two men
standing close by who evidently looked upon him as a strayed lunatic
He kept one suit of clothes for his hours of attendance at the hospital it
was still decent and with much care would remain so for a long time That which
he wore at home and in his street wanderings declared poverty at every point it
had been discarded before he left the old abode In his present state of mind he
cared nothing how disreputable he looked to passersby These seedy habiliments
were the token of his degradation and at times he regarded them happening to
see himself in a shop mirror with pleasurable contempt The same spirit often
led him for a meal to the poorest of eatinghouses places where he rubbed
elbows with ragged creatures who had somehow obtained the price of a cup of
coffee and a slice of bread and butter He liked to contrast himself with these
comrades in misfortune »This is the rate at which the world esteems me I am
worth no better provision than this« Or else instead of emphasising the
contrast he defiantly took a place among the miserables of the nether world
and nursed hatred of all who were welltodo
One of these he desired to regard with gratitude but found it difficult to
support that feeling Carter the vivacious though at first perfectly
unembarrassed in his relations with the City Road clerk gradually exhibited a
change of demeanour Reardon occasionally found the young mans eyes fixed upon
him with a singular expression and the secretarys talk though still as a rule
genial was wont to suffer curious interruptions during which he seemed to be
musing on something Reardon had said or on some point of his behaviour The
explanation of this was that Carter had begun to think there might be a
foundation for Mrs Yules hypothesis that the novelist was not altogether in
his sound senses At first he scouted the idea but as time went on it seemed to
him that Reardons countenance certainly had a gaunt wildness which suggested
disagreeable things Especially did he remark this after his return from an
August holiday in Norway On coming for the first time to the City Road branch
he sat down and began to favour Reardon with a lively description of how he had
enjoyed himself abroad it never occurred to him that such talk was not likely
to enspirit the man who had passed his August between the garret and the
hospital but he observed before long that his listener was glancing hither and
thither in rather a strange way
»You havent been ill since I saw you« he inquired
»Oh no«
»But you look as if you might have been I say we must manage for you to
have a fortnight off you know this month«
»I have no wish for it« said Reardon »Ill imagine I have been to Norway
It has done me good to hear of your holiday«
»Im glad of that but it isnt quite the same thing you know as having a
run somewhere yourself«
»Oh much better To enjoy myself may be mere selfishness but to enjoy
anothers enjoyment is the purest satisfaction good for body and soul I am
cultivating altruism«
»Whats that«
»A highly rarefied form of happiness The curious thing about it is that it
wont grow unless you have just twice as much faith in it as is required for
assent to the Athanasian Creed«
»Oh«
Carter went away more than puzzled He told his wife that evening that Reardon
had been talking to him in the most extraordinary fashion not understanding a
word he said
All this time he was on the lookout for employment that would be more
suitable to his unfortunate clerk Whether slightly demented or not Reardon
gave no sign of inability to discharge his duties he was conscientious as ever
and might unless he changed greatly be relied upon in positions of more
responsibility than his present one And at length early in October there came
to the secretarys knowledge an opportunity with which he lost no time in
acquainting Reardon The latter repaired that evening to Clipstone Street and
climbed to Biffens chamber He entered with a cheerful look and exclaimed
»I have just invented a riddle see if you can guess it Why is a London
lodginghouse like the human body«
Biffen looked with some concern at his friend so unwonted was a sally of
this kind
»Why is a London lodginghouse Havent the least idea«
»Because the brains are always at the top Not bad I think eh«
»Well no itll pass Distinctly professional though The general public
would fail to see the point Im afraid But what has come to you«
»Good tidings Carter has offered me a place which will be a decided
improvement A house found or rooms at all events and salary a hundred and
fifty a year«
»By Plutus Thats good hearing Some duties attached I suppose«
»Im afraid that was inevitable as things go Its the secretaryship of a
home for destitute boys at Croydon The post is far from a sinecure Carter
assures me Theres a great deal of purely secretarial work and theres a great
deal of practical work some of it rather rough I fancy It seems doubtful
whether I am exactly the man The present holder is a burly fellow over six feet
high delighting in gymnastics and rather fond of a fight now and then when
opportunity offers But he is departing at Christmas going somewhere as a
missionary and I can have the place if I choose«
»As I suppose you do«
»Yes I shall try it decidedly«
Biffen waited a little then asked
»I suppose your wife will go with you«
»Theres no saying«
Reardon tried to answer indifferently but it could be seen that he was
agitated between hopes and fears
»Youll ask her at all events«
»Oh yes« was the halfabsent reply
»But surely there can be no doubt that shell come A hundred and fifty a
year without rent to pay Why thats affluence«
»The rooms I might occupy are in the home itself Amy wont take very
readily to a dwelling of that kind And Croydon isnt the most inviting
locality«
»Close to delightful country«
»Yes yes but Amy doesnt care about that«
»You misjudge her Reardon You are too harsh I implore you not to lose the
chance of setting all right again If only you could be put into my position for
a moment and then be offered the companionship of such a wife as yours«
Reardon listened with a face of lowering excitement
»I should be perfectly within my rights« he said sternly »if I merely told
her when I have taken the position and let her ask me to take her back if she
wishes«
»You have changed a great deal this last year« replied Biffen shaking his
head »a great deal I hope to see you your old self again before long I should
have declared it impossible for you to become so rugged Go and see your wife
theres a good fellow«
»No I shall write to her«
»Go and see her I beg you No good ever came of letterwriting between two
people who have misunderstood each other Go to Westbourne Park tomorrow And
be reasonable be more than reasonable The happiness of your life depends on
what you do now Be content to forget whatever wrong has been done you To think
that a man should need persuading to win back such a wife«
In truth there needed little persuasion Perverseness one of the forms or
issues of selfpity made him strive against his desire and caused him to adopt
a tone of acerbity in excess of what he felt but already he had made up his
mind to see Amy Even if this excuse had not presented itself he must very soon
have yielded to the longing for a sight of his wifes face which day by day
increased among all the conflicting passions of which he was the victim A month
or two ago when the summer sunshine made his confinement to the streets a daily
torture he convinced himself that there remained in him no trace of his love
for Amy there were moments when he thought of her with repugnance as a cold
selfish woman who had feigned affection when it seemed her interest to do so
but brutally declared her true self when there was no longer anything to be
hoped from him That was the selfdeception of misery Love even passion was
still alive in the depths of his being the animation with which he sped to his
friend as soon as a new hope had risen was the best proof of his feeling
He went home and wrote to Amy
»I have a reason for wishing to see you Will you have the kindness to
appoint an hour on Sunday morning when I can speak with you in private It must
be understood that I shall see no one else«
She would receive this by the first post tomorrow Saturday and doubtless
would let him hear in reply some time in the afternoon Impatience allowed him
little sleep and the next day was a long weariness of waiting The evening he
would have to spend at the hospital if there came no reply before the time of
his leaving home he knew not how he should compel himself to the ordinary
routine of work Yet the hour came and he had heard nothing He was tempted to
go at once to Westbourne Park but reason prevailed with him When he again
entered the house having walked at his utmost speed from the City Road the
letter lay waiting for him it had been pushed beneath his door and when he
struck a match he found that one of his feet was upon the white envelope
Amy wrote that she would be at home at eleven tomorrow morning Not another
word
In all probability she knew of the offer that had been made to him Mrs
Carter would have told her Was it of good or of ill omen that she wrote only
these halfdozen words Half through the night he plagued himself with
suppositions now thinking that her brevity promised a welcome now that she
wished to warn him against expecting anything but a cold offended demeanour At
seven he was dressed two hours and a half had to be killed before he could
start on his walk westward He would have wandered about the streets but it
rained
He had made himself as decent as possible in appearance but he must
necessarily seem an odd Sunday visitor at a house such as Mrs Yules His soft
felt hat never brushed for months was a greyish green and stained round the
band with perspiration His necktie was discoloured and worn Coat and waistcoat
might pass muster but of the trousers the less said the better One of his
boots was patched and both were all but heelless
Very well let her see him thus Let her understand what it meant to live on
twelve and sixpence a week
Though it was cold and wet he could not put on his overcoat Three years ago
it had been a fairly good ulster at present the edges of the sleeves were
frayed two buttons were missing and the original hue of the cloth was
indeterminable
At halfpast nine he set out and struggled with his shabby umbrella against
wind and rain Down Pentonville Hill up Euston Road all along Marylebone Road
then northwestwards towards the point of his destination It was a good six
miles from the one house to the other but he arrived before the appointed time
and had to stray about until the cessation of bellclanging and the striking of
clocks told him it was eleven Then he presented himself at the familiar door
On his asking for Mrs Reardon he was at once admitted and led up to the
drawingroom the servant did not ask his name
Then he waited for a minute or two feeling himself a squalid wretch amid
the dainty furniture The door opened Amy in a simple but very becoming dress
approached to within a yard of him after the first glance she had averted her
eyes and she did not offer to shake hands He saw that his muddy and shapeless
boots drew her attention
»Do you know why I have come« he asked
He meant the tone to be conciliatory but he could not command his voice
and it sounded rough hostile
»I think so« Amy answered seating herself gracefully She would have
spoken with less dignity but for that accent of his
»The Carters have told you«
»Yes I have heard about it«
There was no promise in her manner She kept her face turned away and
Reardon saw its beautiful profile hard and cold as though in marble
»It doesnt interest you at all«
»I am glad to hear that a better prospect offers for you«
He did not sit down and was holding his rusty hat behind his back
»You speak as if it in no way concerned yourself Is that what you wish me
to understand«
»Wont it be better if you tell me why you have come here As you are
resolved to find offence in whatever I say I prefer to keep silence Please to
let me know why you have asked to see me«
Reardon turned abruptly as if to leave her but checked himself at a little
distance
Both had come to this meeting prepared for a renewal of amity but in these
first few moments each was so disagreeably impressed by the look and language of
the other that a revulsion of feeling undid all the more hopeful effects of
their long severance On entering Amy had meant to offer her hand but the
unexpected meanness of Reardons aspect shocked and restrained her All but
every woman would have experienced that shrinking from the livery of poverty
Amy had but to reflect and she understood that her husband could in no wise
help this shabbiness when he parted from her his wardrobe was already in a
longsuffering condition and how was he to have purchased new garments since
then None the less such attire degraded him in her eyes it symbolized the
melancholy decline which he had suffered intellectually On Reardon his wifes
elegance had the same repellent effect though this would not have been the case
but for the expression of her countenance Had it been possible for them to
remain together during the first five minutes without exchange of words
sympathies might have prevailed on both sides the first speech uttered would
most likely have harmonized with their gentler thoughts But the mischief was
done so speedily
A man must indeed be graciously endowed if his personal appearance can defy
the disadvantage of cheap modern clothing worn into shapelessness Reardon had
no such remarkable physique and it was not wonderful that his wife felt ashamed
of him Strictly ashamed he seemed to her a social inferior the impression was
so strong that it resisted all memory of his spiritual qualities She might have
anticipated this state of things and have armed herself to encounter it but
somehow she had not done so For more than five months she had been living among
people who dressed well the contrast was too suddenly forced upon her She was
especially susceptible in such matters and had become none the less so under
the demoralizing influence of her misfortunes True she soon began to feel
ashamed of her shame but that could not annihilate the natural feeling and its
results
»I dont love him I cant love him« Thus she spoke to herself with
immutable decision She had been doubtful till now but all doubt was at an end
Had Reardon been practical man enough to procure by hook or by crook a decent
suit of clothes for this interview that ridiculous trifle might have made all
the difference in what was to result
He turned again and spoke with the harshness of a man who feels that he is
despised and is determined to show an equal contempt
»I came to ask you what you propose to do in case I go to Croydon«
»I have no proposal to make whatever«
»That means then that you are content to go on living here«
»If I have no choice I must make myself content«
»But you have a choice«
»None has yet been offered me«
»Then I offer it now« said Reardon speaking less aggressively »I shall
have a dwelling rent free and a hundred and fifty pounds a year perhaps it
would be more in keeping with my station if I say that I shall have something
less than three pounds a week You can either accept from me half this money as
up to now or come and take your place again as my wife Please to decide what
you will do«
»I will let you know by letter in a few days«
It seemed impossible to her to say she would return yet a refusal to do so
involved nothing less than separation for the rest of their lives Postponement
of decision was her only resource
»I must know at once« said Reardon
»I cant answer at once«
»If you dont I shall understand you to mean that you refuse to come to me
You know the circumstances there is no reason why you should consult with
anyone else You can answer me immediately if you will«
»I dont wish to answer you immediately« Amy replied paling slightly
»Then that decides it When I leave you we are strangers to each other«
Amy made a rapid study of his countenance She had never entertained for a
moment the supposition that his wits were unsettled but none the less the
constant recurrence of that idea in her mothers talk had subtly influenced her
against her husband It had confirmed her in thinking that his behaviour was
inexcusable And now it seemed to her that anyone might be justified in holding
him demented so reckless was his utterance It was difficult to know him as the
man who had loved her so devotedly who was incapable of an unkind word or look
»If that is what you prefer« she said »there must be a formal separation
I cant trust my future to your caprice«
»You mean it must be put into the hands of a lawyer«
»Yes I do«
»That will be the best no doubt«
»Very well I will speak with my friends about it«
»Your friends« he exclaimed bitterly »But for those friends of yours this
would never have happened I wish you had been alone in the world and
penniless«
»A kind wish all things considered«
»Yes it is a kind wish Then your marriage with me would have been binding
you would have known that my lot was yours and the knowledge would have helped
your weakness I begin to see how much right there is on the side of those
people who would keep women in subjection You have been allowed to act with
independence and the result is that you have ruined my life and debased your
own If I had been strong enough to treat you as a child and bid you follow me
wherever my own fortunes led it would have been as much better for you as for
me I was weak and I suffer as all weak people do«
»You think it was my duty to share such a home as you have at present«
»You know it was And if the choice had lain between that and earning your
own livelihood you would have thought that even such a poor home might be made
tolerable There were possibilities in you of better things than will ever come
out now«
There followed a silence Amy sat with her eyes gloomily fixed on the
carpet Reardon looked about the room but saw nothing He had thrown his hat
into a chair and his fingers worked nervously together behind his back
»Will you tell me« he said at length »how your position is regarded by
these friends of yours I dont mean your mother and brother but the people who
come to this house«
»I have not asked such people for their opinion«
»Still I suppose some sort of explanation has been necessary in your
intercourse with them How have you represented your relations with me«
»I cant see that that concerns you«
»In a manner it does Certainly it matters very little to me how I am
thought of by people of this kind but one doesnt like to be reviled without
cause Have you allowed it to be supposed that I have made life with me
intolerable for you«
»No I have not You insult me by asking the question but as you dont seem
to understand feelings of that kind I may as well answer you simply«
»Then have you told them the truth That I became so poor you couldnt live
with me«
»I have never said that in so many words but no doubt it is understood It
must be known also that you refused to take the step which might have helped you
out of your difficulties«
»What step«
She reminded him of his intention to spend half a year in working at the
seaside
»I had utterly forgotten it« he returned with a mocking laugh »That shows
how ridiculous such a thing would have been«
»You are doing no literary work at all« Amy asked
»Do you imagine that I have the peace of mind necessary for anything of that
sort«
This was in a changed voice It reminded her so strongly of her husband
before his disasters that she could not frame a reply
»Do you think I am able to occupy myself with the affairs of imaginary
people«
»I didnt necessarily mean fiction«
»That I can forget myself then in the study of literature I wonder
whether you really think of me like that How in Heavens name do you suppose
I spend my leisure time«
She made no answer
»Do you think I take this calamity as lightheartedly as you do Amy«
»I am far from taking it lightheartedly«
»Yet you are in good health I see no sign that you have suffered«
She kept silence Her suffering had been slight enough and chiefly due to
considerations of social propriety but she would not avow this and did not
like to make admission of it to herself Before her friends she frequently
affected to conceal a profound sorrow but so long as her child was left to her
she was in no danger of falling a victim to sentimental troubles
»And certainly I cant believe it« he continued »now you declare your wish
to be formally separated from me«
»I have declared no such wish«
»Indeed you have If you can hesitate a moment about returning to me when
difficulties are at an end that tells me you would prefer final separation«
»I hesitate for this reason« Amy said after reflecting »You are so greatly
changed from what you used to be that I think it doubtful if I could live with
you«
»Changed Yes that is true I am afraid But how do you think this change
will affect my behaviour to you«
»Remember how you have been speaking to me«
»And you think I should treat you brutally if you came into my power«
»Not brutally in the ordinary sense of the word But with faults of temper
which I couldnt bear I have my own faults I cant behave as meekly as some
women can«
It was a small concession but Reardon made much of it
»Did my faults of temper give you any trouble during the first year of our
married life« he asked gently
»No« she admitted
»They began to afflict you when I was so hard driven by difficulties that I
needed all your sympathy all your forbearance Did I receive much of either
from you Amy«
»I think you did until you demanded impossible things of me«
»It was always in your power to rule me What pained me worst and hardened
me against you was that I saw you didnt care to exert your influence There
was never a time when I could have resisted a word of yours spoken out of your
love for me But even then I am afraid you no longer loved me and now «
He broke off and stood watching her face
»Have you any love for me left« burst from his lips as if the words all
but choked him in the utterance
Amy tried to shape some evasive answer but could say nothing
»Is there ever so small a hope that I might win some love from you again«
»If you wish me to come and live with you when you go to Croydon I will do
so«
»But that is not answering me Amy«
»Its all I can say«
»Then you mean that you would sacrifice yourself out of what Out of pity
for me let us say«
»Do you wish to see Willie« asked Amy instead of replying
»No It is you I have come to see The child is nothing to me compared with
you It is you who loved me who became my wife you only I care about Tell
me you will try to be as you used to be Give me only that hope Amy I will ask
nothing except that now«
»I cant say anything except that I will come to Croydon if you wish it«
»And reproach me always because you have to live in such a place away from
your friends without a hope of the social success which was your dearest
ambition«
Her practical denial that she loved him wrung this taunt from his anguished
heart He repented the words as soon as they were spoken
»What is the good« exclaimed Amy in irritation rising and moving away from
him »How can I pretend that I look forward to such a life with any hope«
He stood in mute misery inwardly cursing himself and his fate
»I have said I will come« she continued her voice shaken with nervous
tension »Ask me or not as you please when you are ready to go there I cant
talk about it«
»I shall not ask you« he replied »I will have no woman slave dragging out
a weary life with me Either you are my willing wife or you are nothing to me«
»I am married to you and that cant be undone I repeat that I shant
refuse to obey you I shall say no more«
She moved to a distance and there seated herself half turned from him
»I shall never ask you to come« said Reardon breaking a short silence »If
our married life is ever to begin again it must be of your seeking Come to me
of your own will and I shall never reject you But I will die in utter
loneliness rather than ask you again«
He lingered a few moments watching her she did not move Then he took his
hat went in silence from the room and left the house
It rained harder than before As no trains were running at this hour he
walked in the direction where he would be likely to meet with an omnibus But it
was a long time before one passed which was any use to him When he reached home
he was in cheerless plight enough to make things pleasanter one of his boots
had let in water abundantly
»The first sore throat of the season no doubt« he muttered to himself
Nor was he disappointed By Tuesday the cold had firm grip of him A day or
two of influenza or sore throat always made him so weak that with difficulty he
supported the least physical exertion but at present he must go to his work at
the hospital Why stay at home To what purpose spare himself It was not as if
life had any promise for him He was a machine for earning so much money a week
and would at least give faithful work for his wages until the day of final
breakdown
But midway in the week Carter discovered how ill his clerk was
»You ought to be in bed my dear fellow with gruel and mustard plasters and
all the rest of it Go home and take care of yourself I insist upon it«
Before leaving the office Reardon wrote a few lines to Biffen whom he had
visited on the Monday »Come and see me if you can I am down with a bad cold
and have to keep in for the rest of the week All the same I feel far more
cheerful Bring a new chapter of your exhilarating romance«
Chapter 26
Married Womans Property
On her return from church that Sunday Mrs Edmund Yule was anxious to learn the
result of the meeting between Amy and her husband She hoped fervently that
Amys anomalous position would come to an end now that Reardon had the offer of
something better than a mere clerkship John Yule never ceased to grumble at his
sisters permanence in the house especially since he had learnt that the money
sent by Reardon each month was not made use of why it should not be applied for
household expenses passed his understanding
»It seems to me« he remarked several times »that the fellow only does his
bare duty in sending it What is it to anyone else whether he lives on twelve
shillings a week or twelve pence It is his business to support his wife if he
cant do that to contribute as much to her support as possible Amys scruples
are all very fine if she could afford them its very nice to pay for your
delicacies of feeling out of other peoples pockets«
»Therell have to be a formal separation« was the startling announcement
with which Amy answered her mothers inquiry as to what had passed
»A separation But my dear «
Mrs Yule could not express her disappointment and dismay
»We couldnt live together its no use trying«
»But at your age Amy How can you think of anything so shocking And then
you know it will be impossible for him to make you a sufficient allowance«
»I shall have to live as well as I can on the seventyfive pounds a year If
you cant afford to let me stay with you for that I must go into cheap lodgings
in the country like poor Mrs Butcher did«
This was wild talking for Amy The interview had upset her and for the rest
of the day she kept apart in her own room On the morrow Mrs Yule succeeded in
eliciting a clear account of the conversation which had ended so hopelessly
»I would rather spend the rest of my days in the workhouse than beg him to
take me back« was Amys final comment uttered with the earnestness which her
mother understood but too well
»But you are willing to go back dear«
»I told him so«
»Then you must leave this to me The Carters will let us know how things go
on and when it seems to be time I must see Edwin myself«
»I cant allow that Anything you could say on your own account would be
useless and there is nothing to say from me«
Mrs Yule kept her own counsel She had a full month before her during which
to consider the situation but it was clear to her that these young people must
be brought together again Her estimate of Reardons mental condition had
undergone a sudden change from the moment when she heard that a respectable post
was within his reach she decided that he was strange but then all men of
literary talent had marked singularities and doubtless she had been too hasty
in interpreting the peculiar features natural to a character such as his
A few days later arrived the news of their relatives death at
Wattleborough
This threw Mrs Yule into a commotion At first she decided to accompany her
son and be present at the funeral after changing her mind twenty times she
determined not to go John must send or bring back the news as soon as possible
That it would be of a nature sensibly to affect her own position if not that of
her children she had little doubt her husband had been the favourite brother
of the deceased and on that account there was no saying how handsome a legacy
she might receive She dreamt of houses in South Kensington of social ambitions
gratified even thus late
On the morning after the funeral came a postcard announcing Johns return by
a certain train but no scrap of news was added
»Just like that irritating boy We must go to the station to meet him
Youll come wont you Amy«
Amy readily consented for she too had hopes though circumstances blurred
them Mother and daughter were walking about the platform half an hour before
the train was due their agitation would have been manifest to anyone observing
them When at length the train rolled in and John was discovered they pressed
eagerly upon him
»Dont you excite yourself« he said gruffly to his mother »Theres no
reason whatever«
Mrs Yule glanced in dismay at Amy They followed John to a cab and took
places with him
»Now dont be provoking Jack Just tell us at once«
»By all means You havent a penny«
»I havent You are joking ridiculous boy«
»Never felt less disposed to I assure you«
After staring out of the window for a minute or two he at length informed
Amy of the extent to which she profited by her uncles decease then made known
what was bequeathed to himself His temper grew worse every moment and he
replied savagely to each successive question concerning the other items of the
will
»What have you to grumble about« asked Amy whose face was exultant
notwithstanding the drawbacks attaching to her good fortune »If Uncle Alfred
receives nothing at all and mother has nothing you ought to think yourself
very lucky«
»Its very easy for you to say that with your ten thousand«
»But is it her own« asked Mrs Yule »Is it for her separate use«
»Of course it is She gets the benefit of last years Married Womans
Property Act The will was executed in January this year and I dare say the old
curmudgeon destroyed a former one«
»What a splendid Act of Parliament that is« cried Amy »The only one worth
anything that I ever heard of«
»But my dear « began her mother in a tone of protest However she
reserved her comment for a more fitting time and place and merely said »I
wonder whether he had heard what has been going on«
»Do you think he would have altered his will if he had« asked Amy with a
smile of security
»Why the deuce he should have left you so much in any case is more than I
can understand« growled her brother »Whats the use to me of a paltry thousand
or two It isnt enough to invest isnt enough to do anything with«
»You may depend upon it your cousin Marian thinks her five thousand good for
something« said Mrs Yule »Who was at the funeral Dont be so surly Jack
tell us all about it Im sure if anyone has cause to be illtempered its poor
me«
Thus they talked amid the rattle of the cabwheels By when they reached
home silence had fallen upon them and each one was sufficiently occupied with
private thoughts
Mrs Yules servants had a terrible time of it for the next few days Too
affectionate to turn her illtemper against John and Amy she relieved herself
by severity to the domestic slaves as an English matron is of course justified
in doing Her daughters position caused her even more concern than before she
constantly lamented to herself »Oh why didnt he die before she was married«
in which case Amy would never have dreamt of wedding a penniless author Amy
declined to discuss the new aspect of things until twentyfour hours after
Johns return then she said
»I shall do nothing whatever until the money is paid to me And what I shall
do then I dont know«
»You are sure to hear from Edwin« opined Mrs Yule
»I think not He isnt the kind of man to behave in that way«
»Then I suppose you are bound to take the first step«
»That I shall never do«
She said so but the sudden happiness of finding herself wealthy was not
without its softening effect on Amys feelings Generous impulses alternated
with moods of discontent The thought of her husband in his squalid lodgings
tempted her to forget injuries and disillusions and to play the part of a
generous wife It would be possible now for them to go abroad and spend a year
or two in healthful travel the result in Reardons case might be wonderful He
might recover all the energy of his imagination and resume his literary career
from the point he had reached at the time of his marriage
On the other hand was it not more likely that he would lapse into a life of
scholarly selfindulgence such as he had often told her was his ideal In that
event what tedium and regret lay before her Ten thousand pounds sounded well
but what did it represent in reality A poor four hundred a year perhaps mere
decency of obscure existence unless her husband could glorify it by winning
fame If he did nothing she would be the wife of a man who had failed in
literature She would not be able to take a place in society Life would be
supported without struggle nothing more to be hoped
This view of the future possessed her strongly when in the second day she
went to communicate her news to Mrs Carter This amiable lady had now become
what she always desired to be Amys intimate friend they saw each other very
frequently and conversed of most things with much frankness It was between
eleven and twelve in the morning when Amy paid her visit and she found Mrs
Carter on the point of going out
»I was coming to see you« cried Edith »Why havent you let me know of what
has happened«
»You have heard I suppose«
»Albert heard from your brother«
»I supposed he would And I havent felt in the mood for talking about it
even with you«
They went into Mrs Carters boudoir a tiny room full of such pretty things
as can be purchased nowadays by anyone who has a few shillings to spare and
tolerable taste either of their own or at secondhand Had she been left to her
instincts Edith would have surrounded herself with objects representing a much
earlier stage of artistic development but she was quick to imitate what fashion
declared becoming Her husband regarded her as a remarkable authority in all
matters of personal or domestic ornamentation
»And what are you going to do« she inquired examining Amy from head to
foot as if she thought that the inheritance of so substantial a sum must have
produced visible changes in her friend
»I am going to do nothing«
»But surely youre not in low spirits«
»What have I to rejoice about«
They talked for a while before Amy brought herself to utter what she was
thinking
»Isnt it a most ridiculous thing that married people who both wish to
separate cant do so and be quite free again«
»I suppose it would lead to all sorts of troubles dont you think«
»So people say about every new step in civilisation What would have been
thought twenty years ago of a proposal to make all married women independent of
their husbands in money matters All sorts of absurd dangers were foreseen no
doubt And its the same now about divorce In America people can get divorced
if they dont suit each other at all events in some of the States and does
any harm come of it Just the opposite I should think«
Edith mused Such speculations were daring but she had grown accustomed to
think of Amy as an advanced woman and liked to imitate her in this respect
»It does seem reasonable« she murmured
»The law ought to encourage such separations instead of forbidding them«
Amy pursued »If a husband and wife find that they have made a mistake what
useless cruelty it is to condemn them to suffer the consequences for the whole
of their lives«
»I suppose its to make people careful« said Edith with a laugh
»If so we know that it has always failed and always will fail so the
sooner such a profitless law is altered the better Isnt there some society for
getting that kind of reform I would subscribe fifty pounds a year to help it
Wouldnt you«
»Yes if I had it to spare« replied the other
Then they both laughed but Edith the more naturally
»Not on my own account you know« she added
»Its because women who are happily married cant and wont understand the
position of those who are not that theres so much difficulty in reforming
marriage laws«
»But I understand you Amy and I grieve about you What you are to do I
cant think«
»Oh its easy to see what I shall do Of course I have no choice really
And I ought to have a choice thats the hardship and the wrong of it Perhaps
if I had I should find a sort of pleasure in sacrificing myself«
There were some new novels on the table Amy took up a volume presently and
glanced over a page or two
»I dont know how you can go on reading that sort of stuff book after
book« she exclaimed
»Oh but people say this last novel of Marklands is one of his best«
»Best or worst novels are all the same Nothing but love love love what
silly nonsense it is Why dont people write about the really important things
of life Some of the French novelists do several of Balzacs for instance I
have just been reading his Cousin Pons a terrible book but I enjoyed it ever
so much because it was nothing like a love story What rubbish is printed about
love«
»I get rather tired of it sometimes« admitted Edith with amusement
»I should hope you do indeed What downright lies are accepted as
indisputable That about love being a womans whole life who believes it
really Love is the most insignificant thing in most womens lives It occupies
a few months possibly a year or two and even then I doubt if it is often the
first consideration«
Edith held her head aside and pondered smilingly
»Im sure theres a great opportunity for some clever novelist who will
never write about love at all«
»But then it does come into life«
»Yes for a month or two as I say Think of the biographies of men and
women how many pages are devoted to their love affairs Compare those books
with novels which profess to be biographies and you see how false such pictures
are Think of the very words novel romance what do they mean but exaggeration
of one bit of life«
»That may be true But why do people find the subject so interesting«
»Because there is so little love in real life Thats the truth of it Why
do poor people care only for stories about the rich The same principle«
»How clever you are Amy«
»Am I Its very nice to be told so Perhaps I have some cleverness of a
kind but what use is it to me My life is being wasted I ought to have a place
in the society of clever people I was never meant to live quietly in the
background Oh if I hadnt been in such a hurry and so inexperienced«
»Oh I wanted to ask you« said Edith soon after this »Do you wish Albert
to say anything about you at the hospital«
»Theres no reason why he shouldnt«
»You wont even write to say «
»I shall do nothing«
Since the parting from her husband there had proceeded in Amy a noticeable
maturing of intellect Probably the one thing was a consequence of the other
During that last year in the flat her mind was held captive by material cares
and this arrest of her natural development doubtless had much to do with the
appearance of acerbity in a character which had displayed so much sweetness so
much womanly grace Moreover it was arrest at a critical point When she fell
in love with Edwin Reardon her mind had still to undergo the culture of
circumstances though a woman in years she had seen nothing of life but a few
phases of artificial society and her education had not progressed beyond the
final schoolgirl stage Submitting herself to Reardons influence she passed
through what was a highly useful training of the intellect but with the result
that she became clearly conscious of the divergence between herself and her
husband In endeavouring to imbue her with his own literary tastes Reardon
instructed Amy as to the natural tendencies of her mind which till then she had
not clearly understood When she ceased to read with the eyes of passion most
of the things which were Reardons supreme interests lost their value for her A
sound intelligence enabled her to think and feel in many directions but the
special line of her growth lay apart from that in which the novelist and
classical scholar had directed her
When she found herself alone and independent her mind acted like a spring
when pressure is removed After a few weeks of désoeuvrement she obeyed the
impulse to occupy herself with a kind of reading alien to Reardons sympathies
The solid periodicals attracted her and especially those articles which dealt
with themes of social science Anything that savoured of newness and boldness in
philosophic thought had a charm for her palate She read a good deal of that
kind of literature which may be defined as specialism popularised writing which
addresses itself to educated but not strictly studious persons and which
forms the reservoir of conversation for society above the sphere of turf and
westendism Thus for instance though she could not undertake the volumes of
Herbert Spencer she was intelligently acquainted with the tenor of their
contents and though she had never opened one of Darwins books her knowledge
of his main theories and illustrations was respectable She was becoming a
typical woman of the new time the woman who has developed concurrently with
journalistic enterprise
Not many days after that conversation with Edith Carter she had occasion to
visit Mudies for the new number of some periodical which contained an
appetising title As it was a sunny and warm day she walked to New Oxford Street
from the nearest Metropolitan station Whilst waiting at the library counter
she heard a familiar voice in her proximity it was that of Jasper Milvain who
stood talking with a middleaged lady As Amy turned to look at him his eye met
hers clearly he had been aware of her The review she desired was handed to
her she moved aside and turned over the pages Then Milvain walked up
He was armed capàpie in the fashions of suave society no Bohemianism of
garb or person for Jasper knew he could not afford that kind of economy On her
part Amy was much better dressed than usual a costume suited to her position
of bereaved heiress
»What a time since we met« said Jasper taking her delicately gloved hand
and looking into her face with his most effective smile
»And why« asked Amy
»Indeed I hardly know I hope Mrs Yule is well«
»Quite thank you«
It seemed as if he would draw back to let her pass and so make an end of
the colloquy But Amy though she moved forward added a remark
»I dont see your name in any of this months magazines«
»I have nothing signed this month A short review in The Current thats
all«
»But I suppose you write as much as ever«
»Yes but chiefly in weekly papers just now You dont see the
WillotheWisp«
»Oh yes And I think I can generally recognise your hand«
They issued from the library
»Which way are you going« Jasper inquired with something more of the old
freedom
»I walked from Gower Street station and I think as its so fine I shall
walk back again«
He accompanied her They turned up Museum Street and Amy after a short
silence made inquiry concerning his sisters
»I am sorry I saw them only once but no doubt you thought it better to let
the acquaintance end there«
»I really didnt think of it in that way at all« Jasper replied
»We naturally understood it so when you even ceased to call yourself«
»But dont you feel that there would have been a good deal of awkwardness in
my coming to Mrs Yules«
»Seeing that you looked at things from my husbands point of view«
»Oh thats a mistake I have only seen your husband once since he went to
Islington«
Amy gave him a look of surprise
»You are not on friendly terms with him«
»Well we have drifted apart For some reason he seemed to think that my
companionship was not very profitable So it was better on the whole that I
should see neither you nor him«
Amy was wondering whether he had heard of her legacy He might have been
informed by a Wattleborough correspondent even if no one in London had told
him
»Do your sisters keep up their friendship with my cousin Marian« she asked
quitting the previous difficult topic
»Oh yes« He smiled »They see a great deal of each other«
»Then of course you have heard of my uncles death«
»Yes I hope all your difficulties are now at an end«
Amy delayed a moment then said »I hope so« without any emphasis
»Do you think of spending this winter abroad«
It was the nearest he could come to a question concerning the future of Amy
and her husband
»Everything is still quite uncertain But tell me something about our old
acquaintances How does Mr Biffen get on«
»I scarcely ever see him but I think he pegs away at an interminable novel
which no one will publish when its done Whelpdale I meet occasionally«
He talked of the latters projects and achievements in a lively strain
»Your own prospects continue to brighten no doubt« said Amy
»I really think they do Things go fairly well And I have lately received a
promise of very valuable help«
»From whom«
»A relative of yours«
Amy turned to interrogate him with a look
»A relative You mean «
»Yes Marian«
They were passing Bedford Square Amy glanced at the trees now almost bare
of foliage then her eyes met Jaspers and she smiled significantly
»I should have thought your aim would have been far more ambitious« she
said with distinct utterance
»Marian and I have been engaged for some time practically«
»Indeed I remember now how you once spoke of her And you will be married
soon«
»Probably before the end of the year I see that you are criticising my
motives I am quite prepared for that in everyone who knows me and the
circumstances But you must remember that I couldnt foresee anything of this
kind It enables us to marry sooner thats all«
»I am sure your motives are unassailable« replied Amy still with a smile
»I imagined that you wouldnt marry for years and then some distinguished
person This throws new light upon your character«
»You thought me so desperately scheming and coldblooded«
»Oh dear no But well to be sure I cant say that I know Marian I
havent seen her for years and years She may be admirably suited to you«
»Depend upon it I think so«
»Shes likely to shine in society She is a brilliant girl full of tact and
insight«
»Scarcely all that perhaps«
He looked dubiously at his companion
»Then you have abandoned your old ambitions« Amy pursued
»Not a bit of it I am on the way to achieve them«
»And Marian is the ideal wife to assist you«
»From one point of view yes Pray why all this ironic questioning«
»Not ironic at all«
»It sounded very much like it and I know from of old that you have a
tendency that way«
»The news surprised me a little I confess But I see that I am in danger of
offending you«
»Let us wait another five years and then I will ask your opinion as to the
success of my marriage I dont take a step of this kind without maturely
considering it Have I made many blunders as yet«
»As yet not that I know of«
»Do I impress you as one likely to commit follies«
»I had rather wait a little before answering that«
»That is to say you prefer to prophesy after the event Very well we shall
see«
In the length of Gower Street they talked of several other things less
personal By degrees the tone of their conversation had become what it was used
to be now and then almost confidential
»You are still at the same lodgings« asked Amy as they drew near to the
railway station
»I moved yesterday so that the girls and I could be under the same roof
until the next change«
»You will let us know when that takes place«
He promised and with exchange of smiles which were something like a
challenge they took leave of each other
Chapter 27
The Lonely Man
A touch of congestion in the right lung was a warning to Reardon that his
halfyear of insufficient food and general waste of strength would make the
coming winter a hard time for him worse probably than the last Biffen
responding in person to the summons found him in bed waited upon by a gaunt
dry sententious woman of sixty not the landlady but a lodger who was glad to
earn one meal a day by any means that offered
»It wouldnt be very nice to die here would it« said the sufferer with a
laugh which was cut short by a cough »One would like a comfortable room at
least Why I dont know I dreamt last night that I was in a ship that had
struck something and was going down and it wasnt the thought of death that
most disturbed me but a horror of being plunged in the icy water In fact I
have had just the same feeling on shipboard I remember waking up midway between
Corfu and Brindisi on that shaky tub of a Greek boat we were rolling a good
deal and I heard a sort of alarmed rush and shouting up on deck It was so warm
and comfortable in the berth and I thought with intolerable horror of the
possibility of sousing into the black depths«
»Dont talk my boy« advised Biffen »Let me read you the new chapter of Mr
Bailey It may induce a refreshing slumber«
Reardon was away from his duties for a week he returned to them with a
feeling of extreme shakiness an indisposition to exert himself and a complete
disregard of the course that events were taking It was fortunate that he had
kept aside that small store of money designed for emergencies he was able to
draw on it now to pay his doctor and provide himself with better nourishment
than usual He purchased new boots too and some articles of warm clothing of
which he stood in need an alarming outlay
A change had come over him he was no longer rendered miserable by thoughts
of Amy seldom indeed turned his mind to her at all His secretaryship at
Croydon was a haven within view the income of seventyfive pounds the other
half to go to his wife would support him luxuriously and for anything beyond
that he seemed to care little Next Sunday he was to go over to Croydon and see
the institution
One evening of calm weather he made his way to Clipstone Street and greeted
his friend with more show of lightheartedness than he had been capable of for
at least two years
»I have been as nearly as possible a happy man all today« he said when
his pipe was well lit »Partly the sunshine I suppose Theres no saying if the
mood will last but if it does all is well with me I regret nothing and wish
for nothing«
»A morbid state of mind« was Biffens opinion
»No doubt of that but I am content to be indebted to morbidness One must
have a rest from misery somehow Another kind of man would have taken to
drinking that has tempted me now and then I assure you But I couldnt afford
it Did you ever feel tempted to drink merely for the sake of forgetting
trouble«
»Often enough I have done it I have deliberately spent a certain
proportion of the money that ought to have gone for food in the cheapest kind of
strong liquor«
»Ha thats interesting But it never got the force of a habit you had to
break«
»No Partly I dare say because I had the warning of poor Sykes before my
eyes«
»You never see that poor fellow«
»Never He must be dead I think He would die either in the hospital or the
workhouse«
»Well« said Reardon musing cheerfully »I shall never become a drunkard I
havent that diathesis to use your expression Doesnt it strike you that you
and I are very respectable persons We really have no vices Put us on a social
pedestal and we should be shining lights of morality I sometimes wonder at our
inoffensiveness Why dont we run amuck against law and order Why at the
least dont we become savage revolutionists and harangue in Regents Park of a
Sunday«
»Because we are passive beings and were meant to enjoy life very quietly
As we cant enjoy we just suffer quietly thats all Bytheby I want to talk
about a difficulty in one of the Fragments of Euripides Did you ever go through
the Fragments«
This made a diversion for half an hour Then Reardon returned to his former
line of thought
»As I was entering patients yesterday there came up to the table a tall
goodlooking very quiet girl poorly dressed but as neat as could be She gave
me her name then I asked Occupation She said at once Im unfortunate sir I
couldnt help looking up at her in surprise I had taken it for granted she was
a dressmaker or something of the kind And do you know I never felt so strong
an impulse to shake hands to show sympathy and even respect in some way I
should have liked to say Why I am unfortunate too such a good patient face
she had«
»I distrust such appearances« said Biffen in his quality of realist
»Well so do I as a rule But in this case they were convincing And there
was no need whatever for her to make such a declaration she might just as well
have said anything else its the merest form I shall always hear her voice
saying Im unfortunate sir She made me feel what a mistake it was for me to
marry such a girl as Amy I ought to have looked about for some simple
kindhearted workgirl that was the kind of wife indicated for me by
circumstances If I had earned a hundred a year she would have thought we were
welltodo I should have been an authority to her on everything under the sun
and above it No ambition would have unsettled her We should have lived in a
couple of poor rooms somewhere and we should have loved each other«
»What a shameless idealist you are« said Biffen shaking his head »Let me
sketch the true issue of such a marriage To begin with the girl would have
married you in firm persuasion that you were a gentleman in temporary
difficulties and that before long you would have plenty of money to dispose of
Disappointed in this hope she would have grown sharptempered querulous
selfish All your endeavours to make her understand you would only have resulted
in widening the impassable gulf She would have misconstrued your every
sentence found food for suspicion in every harmless joke tormented you with
the vulgarest forms of jealousy The effect upon your nature would have been
degrading In the end you must have abandoned every effort to raise her to your
own level and either have sunk to hers or made a rupture Who doesnt know the
story of such attempts I myself ten years ago was on the point of committing
such a folly but Heaven be praised an accident saved me«
»You never told me that story«
»And dont care to now I prefer to forget it«
»Well you can judge for yourself but not for me Of course I might have
chosen the wrong girl but I am supposing that I had been fortunate In any case
there would have been a much better chance than in the marriage that I made«
»Your marriage was sensible enough and a few years hence you will be a
happy man again«
»You seriously think Amy will come back to me«
»Of course I do«
»Upon my word I dont know that I desire it«
»Because you are in a strangely unhealthy state«
»I rather think I regard the matter more sanely than ever yet I am quite
free from sexual bias I can see that Amy was not my fit intellectual companion
and all emotion at the thought of her has gone from me The word love is a
weariness to me If only our idiotic laws permitted us to break the legal bond
how glad both of us would be«
»You are depressed and anæmic Get yourself in flesh and view things like a
man of this world«
»But dont you think it the best thing that can happen to a man if he
outgrows passion«
»In certain circumstances no doubt«
»In all and any The best moments of life are those when we contemplate
beauty in the purely artistic spirit objectively I have had such moments in
Greece and Italy times when I was a free spirit utterly remote from the
temptations and harassings of sexual emotion What we call love is mere turmoil
Who wouldnt release himself from it for ever if the possibility offered«
»Oh theres a good deal to be said for that of course«
Reardons face was illumined with the glow of an exquisite memory
»Havent I told you« he said »of that marvellous sunset at Athens I was
on the Pnyx had been rambling about there the whole afternoon For I dare say a
couple of hours I had noticed a growing rift of light in the clouds to the west
it looked as if the dull day might have a rich ending That rift grew broader
and brighter the only bit of light in the sky On Parnes there were white
strips of ragged mist hanging very low the same on Hymettus and even the peak
of Lycabettus was just hidden Of a sudden the suns rays broke out They
showed themselves first in a strangely beautiful way striking from behind the
seaward hills through the pass that leads to Eleusis and so gleaming on the
nearer slopes of Aigaleos making the clefts black and the rounded parts of the
mountain wonderfully brilliant with golden colour All the rest of the
landscape remember was untouched with a ray of light This lasted only a
minute or two then the sun itself sank into the open patch of sky and shot
glory in every direction broadening beams smote upwards over the dark clouds
and made them a lurid yellow To the left of the sun the gulf of Ægina was all
golden mist the islands floating in it vaguely To the right over black
Salamis lay delicate strips of pale blue indescribably pale and delicate«
»You remember it very clearly«
»As if I saw it now But wait I turned eastward and there to my
astonishment was a magnificent rainbow a perfect semicircle stretching from
the foot of Parnes to that of Hymettus framing Athens and its hills which grew
brighter and brighter the brightness for which there is no name among colours
Hymettus was of a soft misty warmth a something tending to purple its ridges
marked by exquisitely soft and indefinite shadows the rainbow coming right down
in front The Acropolis simply glowed and blazed As the sun descended all these
colours grew richer and warmer for a moment the landscape was nearly crimson
Then suddenly the sun passed into the lower stratum of cloud and the splendour
died almost at once except that there remained the northern half of the
rainbow which had become double In the west the clouds were still glorious
for a time there were two shaped like great expanded wings edged with
refulgence«
»Stop« cried Biffen »or I shall clutch you by the throat I warned you
before that I cant stand those reminiscences«
»Live in hope Scrape together twenty pounds and go there if you die of
hunger afterwards«
»I shall never have twenty shillings« was the despondent answer
»I feel sure you will sell Mr Bailey«
»Its kind of you to encourage me but if Mr Bailey is ever sold I dont
mind undertaking to eat my duplicate of the proofs«
»But now you remember what led me to that What does a man care for any
woman on earth when he is absorbed in contemplation of that kind«
»But it is only one of lifes satisfactions«
»I am only maintaining that it is the best and infinitely preferable to
sexual emotion It leaves no doubt no bitterness of any kind Poverty cant
rob me of those memories I have lived in an ideal world that was not deceitful
a world which seems to me when I recall it beyond the human sphere bathed in
diviner light«
It was four or five days after this that Reardon on going to his work in City
Road found a note from Carter It requested him to call at the main hospital at
halfpast eleven the next morning He supposed the appointment had something to
do with his business at Croydon whither he had been in the mean time Some
unfavourable news perhaps any misfortune was likely
He answered the summons punctually and on entering the general office was
requested by the clerk to wait in Mr Carters private room the secretary had
not yet arrived His waiting lasted some ten minutes then the door opened and
admitted not Carter but Mrs Edmund Yule
Reardon stood up in perturbation He was anything but prepared or disposed
for an interview with this lady She came towards him with hand extended and a
countenance of suave friendliness
»I doubted whether you would see me if I let you know« she said »Forgive
me this little bit of scheming will you I have something so very important to
speak to you about«
He said nothing but kept a demeanour of courtesy
»I think you havent heard from Amy« Mrs Yule asked
»Not since I saw her«
»And you dont know what has come to pass«
»I have heard of nothing«
»I am come to see you quite on my own responsibility quite I took Mr
Carter into my confidence but begged him not to let Mrs Carter know lest she
should tell Amy I think he will keep his promise It seemed to me that it was
really my duty to do whatever I could in these sad sad circumstances«
Reardon listened respectfully but without sign of feeling
»I had better tell you at once that Amys uncle at Wattleborough is dead
and that in his will he has bequeathed her ten thousand pounds«
Mrs Yule watched the effect of this For a moment none was visible but she
saw at length that Reardons lips trembled and his eyebrows twitched
»I am glad to hear of her good fortune« he said distantly and in even
tones
»You will feel I am sure« continued his motherinlaw »that this must put
an end to your most unhappy differences«
»How can it have that result«
»It puts you both in a very different position does it not But for your
distressing circumstances I am sure there would never have been such
unpleasantness never Neither you nor Amy is the kind of person to take a
pleasure in disagreement Let me beg you to go and see her again Everything is
so different now Amy has not the faintest idea that I have come to see you and
she mustnt on any account be told for her worst fault is that sensitive pride
of hers And Im sure you wont be offended Edwin if I say that you have very
much the same failing Between two such sensitive people differences might last
a lifetime unless one could be persuaded to take the first step Do be
generous A woman is privileged to be a little obstinate it is always said
Overlook the fault and persuade her to let bygones be bygones«
There was an involuntary affectedness in Mrs Yules speech which repelled
Reardon He could not even put faith in her assurance that Amy knew nothing of
this intercession In any case it was extremely distasteful to him to discuss
such matters with Mrs Yule
»Under no circumstances could I do more than I already have done« he
replied »And after what you have told me it is impossible for me to go and see
her unless she expressly invites me«
»Oh if only you would overcome this sensitiveness«
»It is not in my power to do so My poverty as you justly say was the
cause of our parting but if Amy is no longer poor that is very far from a
reason why I should go to her as a suppliant for forgiveness«
»But do consider the facts of the case independently of feeling I really
think I dont go too far in saying that at least some some provocation was
given by you first of all I am so very very far from wishing to say anything
disagreeable I am sure you feel that but wasnt there some little ground for
complaint on Amys part Wasnt there now«
Reardon was tortured with nervousness He wished to be alone to think over
what had happened and Mrs Yules urgent voice rasped upon his ears Its very
smoothness made it worse
»There may have been ground for grief and concern« he answered »but for
complaint no I think not«
»But I understand« the voice sounded rather irritable now »that you
positively reproached and upbraided her because she was reluctant to go and live
in some very shocking place«
»I may have lost my temper after Amy had shown But I cant review our
troubles in this way«
»Am I to plead in vain«
»I regret very much that I cant possibly do as you wish It is all between
Amy and myself Interference by other people cannot do any good«
»I am sorry you should use such a word as interference« replied Mrs Yule
bridling a little »Very sorry indeed I confess it didnt occur to me that my
goodwill to you could be seen in that light«
»Believe me that I didnt use the word offensively«
»Then you refuse to take any step towards a restoration of good feeling«
»I am obliged to and Amy would understand perfectly why I say so«
His earnestness was so unmistakable that Mrs Yule had no choice but to rise
and bring the interview to an end She commanded herself sufficiently to offer a
regretful hand
»I can only say that my daughter is very very unfortunate«
Reardon lingered a little after her departure then left the hospital and
walked at a rapid pace in no particular direction
Ah if this had happened in the first year of his marriage what more
blessed man than he would have walked the earth But it came after irreparable
harm No amount of wealth could undo the ruin caused by poverty
It was natural for him as soon as he could think with deliberation to turn
towards his only friend But on calling at the house in Clipstone Street he
found the garret empty and no one could tell him when its occupant was likely
to be back He left a note and made his way back to Islington The evening had
to be spent at the hospital but on his return Biffen sat waiting for him
»You called about twelve didnt you« the visitor inquired
»Halfpast«
»I was at the policecourt Odd thing but it always happens so that I
should have spoken of Sykes the other night Last night I came upon a crowd in
Oxford Street and the nucleus of it was no other than Sykes himself very drunk
and disorderly in the grip of two policemen Nothing could be done for him I
was useless as bail he een had to sleep in the cell But I went this morning
to see what would become of him Such a spectacle when they brought him forward
It was only five shillings fine and to my astonishment he produced the money I
joined him outside it required a little courage and had a long talk with
him Hes writing a London Letter for some provincial daily and the first
payment had thrown him off his balance«
Reardon laughed gaily and made inquiries about the eccentric gentleman
Only when the subject was exhausted did he speak of his own concerns relating
quietly what he had learnt from Mrs Yule Biffens eyes widened
»So« Reardon cried with exultation »there is the last burden off my mind
Henceforth I havent a care The only thing that still troubled me was my
inability to give Amy enough to live upon Now she is provided for in secula
seculorum Isnt this grand news«
»Decidedly But if she is provided for so are you«
»Biffen you know me better Could I accept a farthing of her money This
has made our coming together again for ever impossible unless unless dead
things can come to life I know the value of money but I cant take it from
Amy«
The other kept silence
»No But now everything is well She has her child and can devote herself
to bringing the boy up And I but I shall be rich on my own account A hundred
and fifty a year it would be a farce to offer Amy her share of it By all the
gods of Olympus we will go to Greece together you and I«
»Pooh«
»I swear it Let me save for a couple of years and then get a good months
holiday or more if possible and as Pallas Athene liveth we shall find
ourselves at Marseilles going aboard some boat of the Messageries I cant
believe yet that this is true Come we will have a supper tonight Come out
into Upper Street and let us eat drink and be merry«
»You are beside yourself But never mind let us rejoice by all means
Theres every reason«
»That poor girl Now at last shell be at ease«
»Who«
»Amy of course Im delighted on her account Ah but if it had come a long
time ago in the happy days Then she too would have gone to Greece wouldnt
she Everything in life comes too soon or too late What it would have meant for
her and for me She would never have hated me then never Biffen am I base or
contemptible She thinks so Thats how poverty has served me If you had seen
her how she looked at me when we met the other day you would understand well
enough why I couldnt live with her now not if she entreated me to That would
make me base if you like Gods how ashamed I should be if I yielded to such a
temptation And once «
He had worked himself to such intensity of feeling that at length his voice
choked and tears burst from his eyes
»Come out and let us have a walk« said Biffen
On leaving the house they found themselves in a thick fog through which
trickled drops of warm rain Nevertheless they pursued their purpose and
presently were seated in one of the boxes of a small coffeeshop Their only
companion in the place was a cabdriver who had just finished a meal and was
now nodding into slumber over his plate and cup Reardon ordered fried ham and
eggs the luxury of the poor and when the attendant woman was gone away to
execute the order he burst into excited laughter
»Here we sit two literary men How should we be regarded by «
He named two or three of the successful novelists of the day
»With what magnificent scorn they would turn from us and our squalid feast
They have never known struggle not they They are publicschool men University
men club men society men An income of less than three or four hundred a year
is inconceivable to them that seems the minimum for an educated mans support
It would be smallminded to think of them with rancour but by Apollo I know
that we should change places with them if the work we have done were justly
weighed against theirs«
»What does it matter We are different types of intellectual workers I
think of them savagely now and then but only when hunger gets a trifle too
keen Their work answers a demand ours or mine at all events doesnt They
are in touch with the reading multitude they have the sentiments of the
respectable they write for their class Well you had your circle of readers
and if things hadnt gone against you by this time you certainly could have
counted on your three or four hundred a year«
»Its unlikely that I should ever have got more than two hundred pounds for
a book and to have kept at my best I must have been content to publish once
every two or three years The position was untenable with no private income And
I must needs marry a wife of dainty instincts What astounding impudence No
wonder Fate pitched me aside into the gutter«
They ate their ham and eggs and exhilarated themselves with a cup of
chicory called coffee Then Biffen drew from the pocket of his venerable
overcoat the volume of Euripides he had brought and their talk turned once more
to the land of the sun Only when the coffeeshop was closed did they go forth
again into the foggy street and at the top of Pentonville Hill they stood for
ten minutes debating a metrical effect in one of the Fragments
Day after day Reardon went about with a fever upon him By evening his pulse was
always rapid and no extremity of weariness brought him a refreshing sleep In
conversation he seemed either depressed or excited more often the latter Save
when attending to his duties at the hospital he made no pretence of employing
himself if at home he sat for hours without opening a book and his walks
excepting when they led him to Clipstone Street were aimless
The hours of postal delivery found him waiting in an anguish of suspense At
eight oclock each morning he stood by his window listening for the postmans
knock in the street As it approached he went out to the head of the stairs and
if the knock sounded at the door of his house he leaned over the banisters
trembling in expectation But the letter was never for him When his agitation
had subsided he felt glad of the disappointment and laughed and sang
One day Carter appeared at the City Road establishment and made an
opportunity of speaking to his clerk in private
»I suppose« he said with a smile »theyll have to look out for someone
else at Croydon«
»By no means The thing is settled I go at Christmas«
»You really mean that«
»Undoubtedly«
Seeing that Reardon was not disposed even to allude to private circumstances
the secretary said no more and went away convinced that misfortunes had turned
the poor fellows brain
Wandering in the city about this time Reardon encountered his friend the
realist
»Would you like to meet Sykes« asked Biffen »I am just going to see him«
»Where does he live«
»In some indiscoverable hole To save fuel he spends his mornings at some
readingrooms the admission is only a penny and there he can see all the
papers and do his writing and enjoy a grateful temperature«
They repaired to the haunt in question A flight of stairs brought them to a
small room in which were exposed the daily newspapers another ascent and they
were in a room devoted to magazines chess and refreshments yet another and
they reached the department of weekly publications lastly at the top of the
house they found a lavatory and a chamber for the use of those who desired to
write The walls of this last retreat were of blue plaster and sloped inwards
from the floor along them stood school desks with benches and in one place was
suspended a ragged and dirty card announcing that paper and envelopes could be
purchased downstairs An enormous basket full of wastepaper and a small stove
occupied two corners ink blotches satirical designs and much scribbling in
pen and pencil served for mural adornment From the adjacent lavatory came
sounds of splashing and spluttering and the busy street far below sent up its
confused noises
Two persons only sat at the desks One was a hungerbitten outofwork
clerk evidently engaged in replying to advertisements in front of him lay two
or three finished letters and on the ground at his feet were several crumpled
sheets of notepaper representing abortive essays in composition The other
man also occupied with the pen looked about forty years old and was clad in a
very rusty suit of tweeds on the bench beside him lay a grey overcoat and a
silk hat which had for some time been moulting His face declared the habit to
which he was a victim but it had nothing repulsive in its lineaments and
expression on the contrary it was pleasing amiable and rather quaint At
this moment no one would have doubted his sobriety With coatsleeve turned
back so as to give free play to his right hand and wrist revealing meanwhile a
flannel shirt of singular colour and with his collar unbuttoned he wore no
tie to leave his throat at ease as he bent myopically over the paper he was
writing at express speed evidently in the full rush of the ardour of
composition The veins of his forehead were dilated and his chin pushed forward
in a way that made one think of a racing horse
»Are you too busy to talk« asked Biffen going to his side
»I am Upon my soul I am« exclaimed the other looking up in alarm »For the
love of Heaven dont put me out A quarter of an hour«
»All right Ill come up again«
The friends went downstairs and turned over the papers
»Now lets try him again« said Biffen when considerably more than the
requested time had lapsed They went up and found Mr Sykes in an attitude of
melancholy meditation He had turned back his coatsleeve had buttoned his
collar and was eyeing the slips of completed manuscript Biffen presented his
companion and Mr Sykes greeted the novelist with much geniality
»What do you think this is« he exclaimed pointing to his work »The first
instalment of my autobiography for the Shropshire Weekly Herald Anonymous of
course but strictly veracious with the omission of sundry little personal
failings which are nothing to the point I call it Through the Wilds of Literary
London An old friend of mine edits the Herald and Im indebted to him for the
suggestion«
His voice was a trifle husky but he spoke like a man of education
»Most people will take it for fiction I wish I had inventive power enough
to write fiction anything like it I have published novels Mr Reardon but my
experience in that branch of literature was peculiar as I may say it has been
in most others to which I have applied myself My first stories were written for
The Young Ladys Favourite and most remarkable productions they were I promise
you That was fifteen years ago in the days of my versatility I could throw
off my supplemental novelette of fifteen thousand words without turning a hair
and immediately after it fall to fresh as a daisy on the Illustrated History
of the United States which I was then doing for Edward Coghlan But presently I
thought myself too good for the Favourite in an evil day I began to write
threevolume novels aiming at reputation It wouldnt do I persevered for five
years and made about five failures Then I went back to Bowring Take me on
again old man will you Bowring was a man of few words he said Blaze away
my boy And I tried to But it was no use I had got out of the style my
writing was too literary by a long chalk For a whole year I deliberately strove
to write badly but Bowring was so pained with the feebleness of my efforts that
at last he sternly bade me avoid his sight What the devil he roared one day
do you mean by sending me stories about men and women You ought to know better
than that a fellow of your experience So I had to give it up and there was an
end of my career as a writer of fiction«
He shook his head sadly
»Biffen« he continued »when I first made his acquaintance had an idea of
writing for the working classes and what do you think he was going to offer
them Stories about the working classes Nay never hang your head for it old
boy it was excusable in the days of your youth Why Mr Reardon as no doubt
you know well enough nothing can induce working men or women to read stories
that treat of their own world They are the most consumed idealists in creation
especially the women Again and again workgirls have said to me Oh I dont
like that book its nothing but real life«
»Its the fault of women in general« remarked Reardon
»So it is but it comes out with delicious naïveté in the working classes
Now educated people like to read of scenes that are familiar to them though I
grant you that the picture must be idealised if youre to appeal to more than
one in a thousand The working classes detest anything that tries to represent
their daily life It isnt because that life is too painful no no its
downright snobbishness Dickens goes down only with the best of them and then
solely because of his strength in farce and his melodrama«
Presently the three went out together and had dinner at an à la mode beef
shop Mr Sykes ate little but took copious libations of porter at twopence a
pint When the meal was over he grew taciturn
»Can you walk westwards« Biffen asked
»Im afraid not afraid not In fact I have an appointment at two at
Aldgate station«
They parted from him
»Now hell go and soak till hes unconscious« said Biffen »Poor fellow
Pity he ever earns anything at all The workhouse would be better I should
think«
»No no Let a man drink himself to death rather I have a horror of the
workhouse Remember the clock at Marylebone I used to tell you about«
»Unphilosophic I dont think I should be unhappy in the workhouse I should
have a certain satisfaction in the thought that I had forced society to support
me And then the absolute freedom from care Why its very much the same as
being a man of independent fortune«
It was about a week after this midway in November that there at length
came to Manville Street a letter addressed in Amys hand It arrived at three
one afternoon Reardon heard the postman but he had ceased to rush out on every
such occasion and today he was feeling ill Lying upon the bed he had just
raised his head wearily when he became aware that someone was mounting to his
room He sprang up his face and neck flushing
This time Amy began »Dear Edwin« the sight of those words made his brain
swim
»You must of course have heard she wrote that my uncle John has left
me ten thousand pounds It has not yet come into my possession and I
had decided that I would not write to you till that happened but
perhaps you may altogether misunderstand my silence
If this money had come to me when you were struggling so hard to
earn a living for us we should never have spoken the words and thought
the thoughts which now make it so difficult for me to write to you What
I wish to say is that although the property is legally my own I quite
recognise that you have a right to share in it Since we have lived
apart you have sent me far more than you could really afford believing
it your duty to do so now that things are so different I wish you as
well as myself to benefit by the change
I said at our last meeting that I should be quite prepared to return
to you if you took that position at Croydon There is now no need for
you to pursue a kind of work for which you are quite unfitted and I
repeat that I am willing to live with you as before If you will tell me
where you would like to make a new home I shall gladly agree I do not
think you would care to leave London permanently and certainly I should
not
Please to let me hear from you as soon as possible In writing like
this I feel that I have done what you expressed a wish that I should do
I have asked you to put an end to our separation and I trust that I
have not asked in vain
Yours always
AMY REARDON«
The letter fell from his hand It was such a letter as he might have expected
but the beginning misled him and as his agitation throbbed itself away he
suffered an encroachment of despair which made him for a time unable to move or
even think
His reply written by the dreary twilight which represented sunset ran
thus
»Dear Amy I thank you for your letter and I appreciate your motive
in writing it But if you feel that you have done what I expressed a
wish that you should do you must have strangely misunderstood me
The only one thing that I wished was that by some miracle your love
for me might be revived Can I persuade myself that this is the letter
of a wife who desires to return to me because in her heart she loves me
If that is the truth you have been most unfortunate in trying to express
yourself
You have written because it seemed your duty to do so But indeed
a sense of duty such as this is a mistaken one You have no love for me
and where there is no love there is no mutual obligation in marriage
Perhaps you think that regard for social conventions will necessitate
your living with me again But have more courage refuse to act
falsehoods tell society it is base and brutal and that you prefer to
live an honest life
I cannot share your wealth dear But as you have no longer need of
my help as we are now quite independent of each other I shall cease
to send the money which hitherto I have considered yours In this way I
shall have enough and more than enough for my necessities so that you
will never have to trouble yourself with the thought that I am suffering
privations At Christmas I go to Croydon and I will then write to you
again
For we may at all events be friendly My mind is relieved from
ceaseless anxiety on your account I know now that you are safe from
that accursed poverty which is to blame for all our sufferings You I do
not blame though I have sometimes done so My own experience teaches me
how kindness can be embittered by misfortune Some great and noble
sorrow may have the effect of drawing hearts together but to struggle
against destitution to be crushed by care about shillings and sixpences
that must always degrade
No other reply than this is possible so I beg you not to write in
this way again Let me know if you go to live elsewhere I hope Willie
is well and that his growth is still a delight and happiness to you
EDWIN REARDON«
That one word dear occurring in the middle of the letter gave him pause as he
read the lines over Should he not obliterate it and even in such a way that
Amy might see what he had done His pen was dipped in the ink for that purpose
but after all he held his hand Amy was still dear to him say what he might
and if she noted the word if she pondered over it
A street gaslamp prevented the room from becoming absolutely dark When he
had closed the envelope he lay down on his bed again and watched the flickering
yellowness upon the ceiling He ought to have some tea before going to the
hospital but he cared so little for it that the trouble of boiling water was
too great The flickering light grew fainter he understood at length that this
was caused by fog that had begun to descend The fog was his enemy it would be
wise to purchase a respirator if this hideous weather continued for sometimes
his throat burned and there was a rasping in his chest which gave disagreeable
admonition
He fell asleep for half an hour and on awaking he was feverish as usual at
this time of day Well it was time to go to his work Ugh That first mouthful
of fog
Chapter 28
Interim
The rooms which Milvain had taken for himself and his sisters were modest but
more expensive than their old quarters As the change was on his account he held
himself responsible for the extra outlay But for his immediate prospects this
step would have been unwarrantable as his earnings were only just sufficient
for his needs on the previous footing He had resolved that his marriage must
take place before Christmas till that event he would draw when necessary upon
the girls little store and then repay them out of Marians dowry
»And what are we to do when you are married« asked Dora
The question was put on the first evening of their being all under the same
roof The trio had had supper in the girls sittingroom and it was a moment
for frank conversation Dora rejoiced in the coming marriage her brother had
behaved honourably and Marian she trusted would be very happy
notwithstanding disagreement with her father which seemed inevitable Maud was
by no means so well pleased though she endeavoured to wear smiles It looked to
her as if Jasper had been guilty of a kind of weakness not to be expected in
him Marian as an individual could not be considered an appropriate wife for
such a man with such a future and as for her five thousand pounds that was
ridiculous Had it been ten something can be made of ten thousand but a
paltry five Mauds ideas on such subjects had notably expanded of late and one
of the results was that she did not live so harmoniously with her sister as for
the first few months of their London career
»I have been thinking a good deal about that« replied Jasper to the younger
girls question He stood with his back to the fire and smoked a cigarette »I
thought at first of taking a flat but then a flat of the kind I should want
would be twice the rent of a large house If we have a house with plenty of room
in it you might come and live with us after a time At first I must find you
decent lodgings in our neighbourhood«
»You show a good deal of generosity Jasper« said Maud »but pray remember
that Marian isnt bringing you five thousand a year«
»I regret to say that she isnt What she brings me is five hundred a year
for ten years thats how I look at it My own income will make it something
between six or seven hundred at first and before long probably more like a
thousand I am quite cool and collected I understand exactly where I am and
where I am likely to be ten years hence Marians money is to be spent in
obtaining a position for myself At present I am spoken of as a smart young
fellow and that kind of thing but no one would offer me an editorship or any
other serious help Wait till I show that I have helped myself and hands will
be stretched to me from every side Tis the way of the world I shall belong to
a club I shall give nice quiet little dinners to selected people I shall let
it be understood by all and sundry that I have a social position Thenceforth I
am quite a different man a man to be taken into account And what will you bet
me that I dont stand in the foremost rank of literary reputabilities ten years
hence«
»I doubt whether six or seven hundred a year will be enough for this«
»If not I am prepared to spend a thousand Bless my soul As if two or
three years wouldnt suffice to draw out the mean qualities in the kind of
people I am thinking of I say ten to leave myself a great margin«
»Marian approves this«
»I havent distinctly spoken of it But she approves whatever I think good«
The girls laughed at his way of pronouncing this
»And let us just suppose that you are so unfortunate as to fail«
»Theres no supposing it unless of course I lose my health I am not
presuming on any wonderful development of powers Such as I am now I need only
to be put on the little pedestal of a decent independence and plenty of people
will point fingers of admiration at me You dont fully appreciate this Mind
it wouldnt do if I had no qualities I have the qualities they only need
bringing into prominence If I am an unknown man and publish a wonderful book
it will make its way very slowly or not at all If I become a known man
publish that very same book its praise will echo over both hemispheres I
should be within the truth if I had said a vastly inferior book but I am in a
bland mood at present Suppose poor Reardons novels had been published in the
full light of reputation instead of in the struggling dawn which was never to
become day wouldnt they have been magnified by every critic You have to
become famous before you can secure the attention which would give fame«
He delivered this apophthegm with emphasis and repeated it in another form
»You have to obtain reputation before you can get a fair hearing for that
which would justify your repute Its the old story of the French publisher who
said to Dumas Make a name and Ill publish anything you write But how the
diable cries the author am I to make a name if I cant get published If a man
cant hit upon any other way of attracting attention let him dance on his head
in the middle of the street after that he may hope to get consideration for his
volume of poems I am speaking of men who wish to win reputation before they are
toothless Of course if your work is strong you can afford to wait the
probability is that half a dozen people will at last begin to shout that you
have been monstrously neglected as you have But that happens when you are
hoary and sapless and when nothing under the sun delights you«
He lit a new cigarette
»Now I my dear girls am not a man who can afford to wait First of all my
qualities are not of the kind which demand the recognition of posterity My
writing is for today most distinctly hodiernal It has no value save in
reference to today The question is How can I get the eyes of men fixed upon
me The answer By pretending I am quite independent of their gaze I shall
succeed without any kind of doubt and then Ill have a medal struck to
celebrate the day of my marriage«
But Jasper was not quite so well assured of the prudence of what he was
about to do as he wished his sisters to believe The impulse to which he had
finally yielded still kept its force indeed was stronger than ever since the
intimacy of lovers dialogue had revealed to him more of Marians heart and
mind Undeniably he was in love Not passionately not with the consuming desire
which makes every motive seem paltry compared with its own satisfaction but
still quite sufficiently in love to have a great difficulty in pursuing his
daily tasks This did not still the voice which bade him remember all the
opportunities and hopes he was throwing aside Since the plighting of troth with
Marian he had been over to Wimbledon to the house of his friend and patron Mr
Horace Barlow and there he had again met with Miss Rupert This lady had no
power whatever over his emotions but he felt assured that she regarded him with
strong interest When he imagined the possibility of contracting a marriage with
Miss Rupert who would make him at once a man of solid means his head drooped
and he wondered at his precipitation It had to be confessed that he was the
victim of a vulgar weakness He had declared himself not of the first order of
progressive men
The conversation with Amy Reardon did not tend to put his mind at rest Amy
was astonished at so indiscreet a step in a man of his calibre Ah if only Amy
herself were free with her ten thousand pounds to dispose of She he felt
sure did not view him with indifference Was there not a touch of pique in the
elaborate irony with which she had spoken of his choice But it was idle to
look in that direction
He was anxious on his sisters account They were clever girls and with
energy might before long earn a bare subsistence but it began to be doubtful
whether they would persevere in literary work Maud it was clear had conceived
hopes of quite another kind Her intimacy with Mrs Lane was effecting a change
in her habits her dress even her modes of speech A few days after their
establishment in the new lodgings Jasper spoke seriously on this subject with
the younger girl
»I wonder whether you could satisfy my curiosity in a certain matter« he
said »Do you by chance know how much Maud gave for that new jacket in which I
saw her yesterday«
Dora was reluctant to answer
»I dont think it was very much«
»That is to say it didnt cost twenty guineas Well I hope not I notice
too that she has been purchasing a new hat«
»Oh that was very inexpensive She trimmed it herself«
»Did she Is there any particular any quite special reason for this
expenditure«
»I really cant say Jasper«
»Thats ambiguous you know Perhaps it means you wont allow yourself to
say«
»No Maud doesnt tell me about things of that kind«
He took opportunities of investigating the matter with the result that some
ten days after he sought private colloquy with Maud herself She had asked his
opinion of a little paper she was going to send to a ladies illustrated weekly
and he summoned her to his own room
»I think this will do pretty well« he said »Theres rather too much
thought in it perhaps Suppose you knock out one or two of the less obvious
reflections and substitute a wholesome commonplace Youll have a better
chance I assure you«
»But I shall make it worthless«
»No youll probably make it worth a guinea or so You must remember that
the people who read womens papers are irritated simply irritated by anything
that isnt glaringly obvious They hate an unusual thought The art of writing
for such papers indeed for the public in general is to express vulgar
thought and feeling in a way that flatters the vulgar thinkers and feelers Just
abandon your mind to it and then let me see it again«
Maud took up the manuscript and glanced over it with a contemptuous smile
Having observed her for a moment Jasper threw himself back in the chair and
said as if casually
»I am told that Mr Dolomore is becoming a great friend of yours«
The girls face changed She drew herself up and looked away towards the
window
»I dont know that he is a great friend«
»Still he pays enough attention to you to excite remark«
»Whose remark«
»That of several people who go to Mrs Lanes«
»I dont know any reason for it« said Maud coldly
»Look here Maud you dont mind if I give you a friendly warning«
She kept silence with a look of superiority to all monition
»Dolomore« pursued her brother »is all very well in his way but that way
isnt yours I believe he has a good deal of money but he has neither brains
nor principle Theres no harm in your observing the nature and habits of such
individuals but dont allow yourself to forget that they are altogether beneath
you«
»Theres no need whatever for you to teach me selfrespect« replied the
girl
»Im quite sure of that but you are inexperienced On the whole I do
rather wish that you would go less frequently to Mrs Lanes It was rather an
unfortunate choice of yours Very much better if you could have got on a good
footing with the Barnabys If you are generally looked upon as belonging to the
Lanes set it will make it difficult for you to get in with the better people«
Maud was not to be drawn into argument and Jasper could only hope that his
words would have some weight with her The Mr Dolomore in question was a young
man of rather offensive type athletic dandiacal and halfeducated It
astonished Jasper that his sister could tolerate such an empty creature for a
moment who has not felt the like surprise with regard to womens inclinations
He talked with Dora about it but she was not in her sisters confidence
»I think you ought to have some influence with her« Jasper said
»Maud wont allow anyone to interfere in her private affairs«
»It would be unfortunate if she made me quarrel with her«
»Oh surely there isnt any danger of that«
»I dont know she mustnt be obstinate«
Jasper himself saw a good deal of miscellaneous society at this time He could
not work so persistently as usual and with wise tactics he used the seasons of
enforced leisure to extend his acquaintance Marian and he were together twice a
week in the evening
Of his old Bohemian associates he kept up intimate relations with one only
and that was Whelpdale This was in a measure obligatory for Whelpdale
frequently came to see him and it would have been difficult to repel a man who
was always making known how highly he esteemed the privilege of Milvains
friendship and whose company on the whole was agreeable enough At the present
juncture Whelpdales cheery flattery was a distinct assistance it helped to
support Jasper in his selfconfidence and to keep the brightest complexion on
the prospect to which he had committed himself
»Whelpdale is anxious to make Marians acquaintance« Jasper said to his
sisters one day »Shall we have him here tomorrow evening«
»Just as you like« Maud replied
»You wont object Dora«
»Oh no I rather like Mr Whelpdale«
»If I were to repeat that to him hed go wild with delight But dont be
afraid I shant Ill ask him to come for an hour and trust to his discretion
not to bore us by staying too long«
A note was posted to Whelpdale he was invited to present himself at eight
oclock by which time Marian would have arrived Jaspers room was to be the
scene of the assembly and punctual to the minute the literary adviser appeared
He was dressed with all the finish his wardrobe allowed and his face beamed
with gratification it was rapture to him to enter the presence of these three
girls one of whom he had more suo held in romantic remembrance since his one
meeting with her at Jaspers old lodgings His eyes melted with tenderness as he
approached Dora and saw her smile of gracious recognition By Maud he was
profoundly impressed Marian inspired him with no awe but he fully appreciated
the charm of her features and her modest gravity After all it was to Dora that
his eyes turned again most naturally He thought her exquisite and rather than
be long without a glimpse of her he contented himself with fixing his eyes on
the hem of her dress and the boottoe that occasionally peeped from beneath it
As was to be expected in such a circle conversation soon turned to the
subject of literary struggles
»I always feel it rather humiliating« said Jasper »that I have gone
through no very serious hardships It must be so gratifying to say to young
fellows who are just beginning Ah I remember when I was within an ace of
starving to death and then come out with Grub Street reminiscences of the most
appalling kind Unfortunately I have always had enough to eat«
»I havent« exclaimed Whelpdale »I have lived for five days on a few
cents worth of peanuts in the States«
»What are peanuts Mr Whelpdale« asked Dora
Delighted with the question Whelpdale described that undesirable species of
food
»It was in Troy« he went on »Troy NY To think that a man should live on
peanuts in a town called Troy«
»Tell us those adventures« cried Jasper »Its a long time since I heard
them and the girls will enjoy it vastly«
Dora looked at him with such goodhumoured interest that the traveller
needed no further persuasion
»It came to pass in those days« he began »that I inherited from my
godfather a small a very small sum of money I was making strenuous efforts to
write for magazines with absolutely no encouragement As everybody was talking
just then of the Centennial Exhibition at Philadelphia I conceived the
brilliant idea of crossing the Atlantic in the hope that I might find valuable
literary material at the Exhibition or Exposition as they called it and
elsewhere I wont trouble you with an account of how I lived whilst I still had
money sufficient that no one would accept the articles I sent to England and
that at last I got into perilous straits I went to New York and thought of
returning home but the spirit of adventure was strong in me Ill go West I
said to myself There I am bound to find material And go I did taking an
emigrant ticket to Chicago It was December and I should like you to imagine
what a journey of a thousand miles by an emigrant train meant at that season
The cars were deadly cold and what with that and the hardness of the seats I
found it impossible to sleep it reminded me of tortures I had read about I
thought my brain would have burst with the need of sleeping At Cleveland in
Ohio we had to wait several hours in the night I left the station and wandered
about till I found myself on the edge of a great cliff that looked over Lake
Erie A magnificent picture Brilliant moonlight and all the lake away to the
horizon frozen and covered with snow The clocks struck two as I stood there«
He was interrupted by the entrance of a servant who brought coffee
»Nothing could be more welcome« cried Dora »Mr Whelpdale makes one feel
quite chilly«
There was laughter and chatting whilst Maud poured out the beverage Then
Whelpdale pursued his narrative
»I reached Chicago with not quite five dollars in my pockets and with a
courage which I now marvel at I paid immediately four dollars and a half for a
weeks board and lodging Well I said to myself for a week I am safe If I
earn nothing in that time at least I shall owe nothing when I have to turn out
into the streets It was a rather dirty little boardinghouse in Wabash Avenue
and occupied as I soon found almost entirely by actors There was no fireplace
in my bedroom and if there had been I couldnt have afforded a fire But that
mattered little what I had to do was to set forth and discover some way of
making money Dont suppose that I was in a desperate state of mind how it was
I dont quite know but I felt decidedly cheerful It was pleasant to be in this
new region of the earth and I went about the town like a tourist who has
abundant resources«
He sipped his coffee
»I saw nothing for it but to apply at the office of some newspaper and as I
happened to light upon the biggest of them first of all I put on a bold face
marched in asked if I could see the editor There was no difficulty whatever
about this I was told to ascend by means of the elevator to an upper storey
and there I walked into a comfortable little room where a youngish man sat
smoking a cigar at a table covered with print and manuscript I introduced
myself stated my business Can you give me work of any kind on your paper
Well what experience have you had None whatever The editor smiled Im very
much afraid you would be no use to us But what do you think you could do Well
now there was but one thing that by any possibility I could do I asked him Do
you publish any fiction short stories Yes were always glad of a short
story if its good This was a big daily paper they have weekly supplements of
all conceivable kinds of matter Well I said if I write a story of English
life will you consider it With pleasure I left him and went out as if my
existence were henceforth provided for«
He laughed heartily and was joined by his hearers
»It was a great thing to be permitted to write a story but then what
story I went down to the shore of Lake Michigan walked there for half an hour
in an icy wind Then I looked for a stationers shop and laid out a few of my
remaining cents in the purchase of pen ink and paper my stock of all these
things was at an end when I left New York Then back to the boardinghouse
Impossible to write in my bedroom the temperature was below zero there was no
choice but to sit down in the common room a place like the smokeroom of a poor
commercial hotel in England A dozen men were gathered about the fire smoking
talking quarrelling Favourable conditions you see for literary effort But
the story had to be written and write it I did sitting there at the end of a
deal table I finished it in less than a couple of days a good long story
enough to fill three columns of the huge paper I stand amazed at my power of
concentration as often as I think of it«
»And was it accepted« asked Dora
»You shall hear I took my manuscript to the editor and he told me to come
and see him again next morning I didnt forget the appointment As I entered he
smiled in a very promising way and said I think your story will do Ill put
it into the Saturday supplement Call on Saturday morning and Ill remunerate
you How well I remember that word remunerate I have had an affection for the
word ever since And remunerate me he did scribbled something on a scrap of
paper which I presented to the cashier The sum was eighteen dollars Behold me
saved«
He sipped his coffee again
»I have never come across an English editor who treated me with anything
like that consideration and general kindliness How the man had time in his
position to see me so often and do things in such a human way I cant
understand Imagine anyone trying the same at the office of a London newspaper
To begin with one couldnt see the editor at all I shall always think with
profound gratitude of that man with the peaked brown beard and pleasant smile«
»But did the peanuts come after that« inquired Dora
»Alas they did For some months I supported myself in Chicago writing for
that same paper and for others But at length the flow of my inspiration was
checked I had written myself out And I began to grow homesick wanted to get
back to England The result was that I found myself one day in New York again
but without money enough to pay for a passage home I tried to write one more
story But it happened as I was looking over newspapers in a readingroom that
I saw one of my Chicago tales copied into a paper published at Troy Now Troy
was not very far off and it occurred to me that if I went there the editor of
this paper might be disposed to employ me seeing he had a taste for my fiction
And I went up the Hudson by steamboat On landing at Troy I was as badly off as
when I reached Chicago I had less than a dollar And the worst of it was I had
come on a vain errand the editor treated me with scant courtesy and no work
was to be got I took a little room paying for it day by day and in the
meantime I fed on those loathsome peanuts buying a handful in the street now
and then And I assure you I looked starvation in the face«
»What sort of a town is Troy« asked Marian speaking for the first time
»Dont ask me They make strawhats there principally and they sell
peanuts More I remember not«
»But you didnt starve to death« said Maud
»No I just didnt I went one afternoon into a lawyers office thinking I
might get some copying work and there I found an oddlooking old man sitting
with an open Bible on his knees He explained to me that he wasnt the lawyer
that the lawyer was away on business and that he was just guarding the office
Well could he help me He meditated and a thought occurred to him Go he
said to such and such a boardinghouse and ask for Mr Freeman Sterling He is
just starting on a business tour and wants a young man to accompany him I
didnt dream of asking what the business was but sped as fast as my trembling
limbs would carry me to the address he had mentioned I asked for Mr Freeman
Sterling and found him He was a photographer and his business at present was
to go about getting orders for the reproducing of old portraits A goodnatured
young fellow He said he liked the look of me and on the spot engaged me to
assist him in a housetohouse visitation He would pay for my board and
lodging and give me a commission on all orders I obtained Forthwith I sat down
to a square meal and ate my conscience how I ate«
»You were not eminently successful in that pursuit I think« said Jasper
»I dont think I got half a dozen orders Yet that good Samaritan supported
me for five or six weeks whilst we travelled from Troy to Boston It couldnt
go on I was ashamed of myself at last I told him that we must part Upon my
word I believe he would have paid my expenses for another month why I cant
understand But he had a vast respect for me because I had written in
newspapers and I do seriously think that he didnt like to tell me I was a
useless fellow We parted on the very best of terms in Boston«
»And you again had recourse to peanuts« asked Dora
»Well no In the meantime I had written to someone in England begging the
loan of just enough money to enable me to get home The money came a day after I
had seen Sterling off by train«
An hour and a half quickly passed and Jasper who wished to have a few
minutes of Marians company before it was time for her to go cast a significant
glance at his sisters Dora said innocently
»You wished me to tell you when it was halfpast nine Marian«
And Marian rose This was a signal Whelpdale could not disregard
Immediately he made ready for his own departure and in less than five minutes
was gone his face at the last moment expressing blended delight and pain
»Too good of you to have asked me to come« he said with gratitude to
Jasper who went to the door with him »You are a happy man by Jove A happy
man«
When Jasper returned to the room his sisters had vanished Marian stood by
the fire He drew near to her took her hands and repeated laughingly
Whelpdales last words
»Is it true« she asked
»Tolerably true I think«
»Then I am as happy as you are«
He released her hands and moved a little apart
»Marian I have been thinking about that letter to your father I had better
get it written dont you think«
She gazed at him with troubled eyes
»Perhaps you had Though we said it might be delayed until «
»Yes I know But I suspect you had rather I didnt wait any longer Isnt
that the truth«
»Partly Do just as you wish Jasper«
»Ill go and see him if you like«
»I am so afraid No writing will be better«
»Very well Then he shall have the letter tomorrow afternoon«
»Dont let it come before the last post I had so much rather not Manage
it if you can«
»Very well Now go and say goodnight to the girls Its a vile night and
you must get home as soon as possible«
She turned away but again came towards him murmuring
»Just a word or two more«
»About the letter«
»No You havent said «
He laughed
»And you couldnt go away contentedly unless I repeated for the hundredth
time that I love you«
Marian searched his countenance
»Do you think it foolish I live only on those words«
»Well they are better than peanuts«
»Oh dont I cant bear to «
Jasper was unable to understand that such a jest sounded to her like
profanity She hid her face against him and whispered the words that would have
enraptured her had they but come from his lips The young man found it pleasant
enough to be worshipped but he could not reply as she desired A few phrases of
tenderness and his lovevocabulary was exhausted he even grew weary when
something more the indefinite something was vaguely required of him
»You are a dear good tenderhearted girl« he said stroking her short
soft hair which was exquisite to the hand »Now go and get ready«
She left him but stood for a few moments on the landing before going to the
girls room
Chapter 29
Catastrophe
Marian had finished the rough draft of a paper on James Harrington author of
»Oceana« Her father went through it by the midnight lamp and the next morning
made his comments A black sky and sooty rain strengthened his inclination to
sit by the study fire and talk at large in a tone of flattering benignity
»Those paragraphs on the Rota Club strike me as singularly happy« he said
tapping the manuscript with the mouthpiece of his pipe »Perhaps you might say a
word or two more about Cyriac Skinner one mustnt be too allusive with general
readers their ignorance is incredible But there is so little to add to this
paper so little to alter that I couldnt feel justified in sending it as my
own work I think it is altogether too good to appear anonymously You must sign
it Marian and have the credit that is due to you«
»Oh do you think its worth while« answered the girl who was far from
easy under this praise Of late there had been too much of it it made her
regard her father with suspicions which increased her sense of trouble in
keeping a momentous secret from him
»Yes yes you had better sign it Ill undertake theres no other girl of
your age who could turn out such a piece of work I think we may fairly say that
your apprenticeship is at an end Before long« he smiled anxiously »I may be
counting upon you as a valued contributor And that reminds me would you be
disposed to call with me on the Jedwoods at their house next Sunday«
Marian understood the intention that lay beneath this proposal She saw that
her father would not allow himself to seem discouraged by the silence she
maintained on the great subject which awaited her decision He was endeavouring
gradually to involve her in his ambitions to carry her forward by insensible
steps It pained her to observe the suppressed eagerness with which he looked
for her reply
»I will go if you wish father but I had rather not«
»I feel sure you would like Mrs Jedwood One has no great opinion of her
novels but she is a woman of some intellect Let me book you for next Sunday
surely I have a claim to your companionship now and then«
Marian kept silence Yule puffed at his pipe then said with a speculative
air
»I suppose it has never even occurred to you to try your hand at fiction«
»I havent the least inclination that way«
»You would probably do something rather good if you tried But I dont urge
it My own efforts in that line were a mistake Im disposed to think Not that
the things were worse than multitudes of books which nowadays go down with the
manyheaded But I never quite knew what I wished to be at fiction I wasnt
content to write a mere narrative of the exciting kind yet I couldnt hit upon
subjects of intellectual cast that altogether satisfied me Well well I have
tried my hand at most kinds of literature Assuredly I merit the title of man of
letters«
»You certainly do«
»Bytheby what should you think of that title for a review Letters It
has never been used so far as I know I like the word letters How much better
a man of letters than a literary man And apropos of that when was the word
literature first used in our modern sense to signify a body of writing In
Johnsons day it was pretty much the equivalent of our culture You remember his
saying It is surprising how little literature people have His dictionary I
believe defines the word as learning skill in letters nothing else«
It was characteristic of Yule to dwell with gusto on little points such as
this he prosed for a quarter of an hour with a pause every now and then whilst
he kept his pipe alight
»I think Letters wouldnt be amiss« he said at length returning to the
suggestion which he wished to keep before Marians mind »It would clearly
indicate our scope No articles on bimetallism as Quarmby said wasnt it
Quarmby«
He laughed idly
»Yes I must ask Jedwood how he likes the name«
Though Marian feared the result she was glad when Jasper made up his mind to
write to her father Since it was determined that her money could not be devoted
to establishing a review the truth ought to be confessed before Yule had gone
too far in nursing his dangerous hope Without the support of her love and all
the prospects connected with it she would hardly have been capable of giving a
distinct refusal when her reply could no longer be postponed to hold the money
merely for her own benefit would have seemed to her too selfish however slight
her faith in the project on which her father built so exultantly When it was
declared that she had accepted an offer of marriage a sacrifice of that kind
could no longer be expected of her Opposition must direct itself against the
choice she had made It would be stern perhaps relentless but she felt able to
face any extremity of wrath Her nerves quivered but in her heart was an
exhaustless source of courage
That a change had somehow come about in the girl Yule was aware He observed
her with the closest study day after day Her health seemed to have improved
after a long spell of work she had not the air of despondent weariness which had
sometimes irritated him sometimes made him uneasy She was more womanly in her
bearing and speech and exercised an independence appropriate indeed to her
years but such as had not formerly declared itself The question with her
father was whether these things resulted simply from her consciousness of
possessing what to her seemed wealth or something else had happened of the
nature that he dreaded An alarming symptom was the increased attention she paid
to her personal appearance its indications were not at all prominent but Yule
on the watch for such things did not overlook them True this also might mean
nothing but a sense of relief from narrow means a girl would naturally adorn
herself a little under the circumstances
His doubts came to an end two days after that proposal of a title for the
new review As he sat in his study the servant brought him a letter delivered by
the last evening post The handwriting was unknown to him the contents were
these
»Dear Mr Yule It is my desire to write to you with perfect frankness
and as simply as I can on a subject which has the deepest interest for
me and which I trust you will consider in that spirit of kindness with
which you received me when we first met at Finden
On the occasion of that meeting I had the happiness of being
presented to Miss Yule She was not totally a stranger to me at that
time I used to work pretty regularly in the Museum Readingroom and
there I had seen Miss Yule had ventured to observe her at moments with
a young mans attention and had felt my interest aroused though I did
not know her name To find her at Finden seemed to me a very unusual and
delightful piece of good fortune When I came back from my holiday I was
conscious of a new purpose in life a new desire and a new motive to
help me on in my chosen career
My mothers death led to my sisters coming to live in London
Already there had been friendly correspondence between Miss Yule and the
two girls and now that the opportunity offered they began to see each
other frequently As I was often at my sisters lodgings it came about
that I met Miss Yule there from time to time In this way was confirmed
my attachment to your daughter The better I knew her the more worthy I
found her of reverence and love
Would it not have been natural for me to seek a renewal of the
acquaintance with yourself which had begun in the country Gladly I
should have done so Before my sisters coming to London I did call one
day at your house with the desire of seeing you but unfortunately you
were not at home Very soon after that I learnt to my extreme regret
that my connection with The Current and its editor would make any
repetition of my visit very distasteful to you I was conscious of
nothing in my literary life that could justly offend you and at this
day I can say the same but I shrank from the appearance of
importunity and for some months I was deeply distressed by the fear
that what I most desired in life had become unattainable My means were
very slight I had no choice but to take such work as offered and mere
chance had put me into a position which threatened ruin to the hope that
you would some day regard me as a not unworthy suitor for your
daughters hand
Circumstances have led me to a step which at that time seemed
impossible Having discovered that Miss Yule returned the feeling I
entertained for her I have asked her to be my wife and she has
consented It is now my hope that you will permit me to call upon you
Miss Yule is aware that I am writing this letter will you not let her
plead for me seeing that only by an unhappy chance have I been kept
aloof from you Marian and I are equally desirous that you should
approve our union without that approval indeed something will be
lacking to the happiness for which we hope
Believe me to be sincerely yours
JASPER MILVAIN«
Half an hour after reading this Yule was roused from a fit of the gloomiest
brooding by Marians entrance She came towards him timidly with pale
countenance He had glanced round to see who it was but at once turned his head
again
»Will you forgive me for keeping this secret from you father«
»Forgive you« he replied in a hard deliberate voice »I assure you it is a
matter of perfect indifference to me You are long since of age and I have no
power whatever to prevent your falling a victim to any schemer who takes your
fancy It would be folly in me to discuss the question I recognise your right
to have as many secrets as may seem good to you To talk of forgiveness is the
merest affectation«
»No I spoke sincerely If it had seemed possible I should gladly have let
you know about this from the first That would have been natural and right But
you know what prevented me«
»I do I will try to hope that even a sense of shame had something to do
with it«
»That had nothing to do with it« said Marian coldly »I have never had
reason to feel ashamed«
»Be it so I trust you may never have reason to feel repentance May I ask
when you propose to be married«
»I dont know when it will take place«
»As soon I suppose as your uncles executors have discharged a piece of
business which is distinctly germane to the matter«
»Perhaps«
»Does your mother know«
»I have just told her«
»Very well then it seems to me that theres nothing more to be said«
»Do you refuse to see Mr Milvain«
»Most decidedly I do You will have the goodness to inform him that that is
my reply to his letter«
»I dont think that is the behaviour of a gentleman« said Marian her eyes
beginning to gleam with resentment
»I am obliged to you for your instruction«
»Will you tell me father in plain words why you dislike Mr Milvain«
»I am not inclined to repeat what I have already fruitlessly told you For
the sake of a clear understanding however I will let you know the practical
result of my dislike From the day of your marriage with that man you are
nothing to me I shall distinctly forbid you to enter my house You make your
choice and go your own way I shall hope never to see your face again«
Their eyes met and the look of each seemed to fascinate the other
»If you have made up your mind to that« said Marian in a shaking voice »I
can remain here no longer Such words are senselessly cruel Tomorrow I shall
leave the house«
»I repeat that you are of age and perfectly independent It can be nothing
to me how soon you go You have given proof that I am of less than no account to
you and doubtless the sooner we cease to afflict each other the better«
It seemed as if the effect of these conflicts with her father were to
develop in Marian a vehemence of temper which at length matched that of which
Yule was the victim Her face outlined to express a gentle gravity was now
haughtily passionate nostrils and lips thrilled with wrath and her eyes were
magnificent in their dark fieriness
»You shall not need to tell me that again« she answered and immediately
left him
She went into the sittingroom where Mrs Yule was awaiting the result of
the interview
»Mother« she said with stern gentleness »this house can no longer be a
home for me I shall go away tomorrow and live in lodgings until the time of
my marriage«
Mrs Yule uttered a cry of pain and started up
»Oh dont do that Marian What has he said to you Come and talk to me
darling tell me what hes said dont look like that«
She clung to the girl despairingly terrified by a transformation she would
have thought impossible
»He says that if I marry Mr Milvain he hopes never to see my face again I
cant stay here You shall come and see me and we will be the same to each
other as always But father has treated me too unjustly I cant live near him
after this«
»He doesnt mean it« sobbed her mother »He says what hes sorry for as
soon as the words are spoken He loves you too much my darling to drive you
away like that Its his disappointment Marian thats all it is He counted on
it so much Ive heard him talk of it in his sleep he made so sure that he was
going to have that new magazine and the disappointment makes him that he
doesnt know what hes saying Only wait and see hell tell you he didnt mean
it I know he will Only leave him alone till hes had time to get over it Do
forgive him this once«
»Its like a madman to talk in that way« said the girl releasing herself
»Whatever his disappointment I cant endure it I have worked hard for him
very hard ever since I was old enough and he owes me some kindness some
respect It would be different if he had the least reason for his hatred of
Jasper It is nothing but insensate prejudice the result of his quarrels with
other people What right has he to insult me by representing my future husband
as a scheming hypocrite«
»My love he has had so much to bear its made him so quicktempered«
»Then I am quicktempered too and the sooner we are apart the better as he
said himself«
»Oh but you have always been such a patient girl«
»My patience is at an end when I am treated as if I had neither rights nor
feelings However wrong the choice I had made this was not the way to behave to
me His disappointment Is there a natural law then that a daughter must be
sacrificed to her father My husband will have as much need of that money as my
father has and he will be able to make far better use of it It was wrong even
to ask me to give my money away like that I have a right to happiness as well
as other women«
She was shaken with hysterical passion the natural consequence of this
outbreak in a nature such as hers Her mother in the meantime grew stronger by
force of profound love that at length had found its opportunity of expression
Presently she persuaded Marian to come upstairs with her and before long the
overburdened breast was relieved by a flow of tears But Marians purpose
remained unshaken
»It is impossible for us to see each other day after day« she said when
calmer »He cant control his anger against me and I suffer too much when I am
made to feel like this I shall take a lodging not far off where you can see me
often«
»But you have no money Marian« replied Mrs Yule miserably
»No money As if I couldnt borrow a few pounds until all my own comes to
me Dora Milvain can lend me all I shall want it wont make the least
difference to her I must have my money very soon now«
At about halfpast eleven Mrs Yule went downstairs and entered the study
»If you are coming to speak about Marian« said her husband turning upon
her with savage eyes »you can save your breath I wont hear her name
mentioned«
She faltered but overcame her weakness
»You are driving her away from us Alfred It isnt right Oh it isnt
right«
»If she didnt go I should so understand that And if I go you have seen
the last of me Make your choice make your choice«
He had yielded himself to that perverse frenzy which impels a man to acts
and utterances most wildly at conflict with reason His sense of the monstrous
irrationality to which he was committed completed what was begun in him by the
bitterness of a great frustration
»If I wasnt a poor helpless woman« replied his wife sinking upon a chair
and crying without raising her hands to her face »Id go and live with her till
she was married and then make a home for myself But I havent a penny and Im
too old to earn my own living I should only be a burden to her«
»That shall be no hindrance« cried Yule »Go by all means you shall have
a sufficient allowance as long as I can continue to work and when Im past
that your lot will be no harder than mine Your daughter had the chance of
making provision for my old age at no expense to herself But that was asking
too much of her Go by all means and leave me to make what I can of the rest
of my life perhaps I may save a few years still from the curse brought upon me
by my own folly«
It was idle to address him Mrs Yule went into the sittingroom and there
sat weeping for an hour Then she extinguished the lights and crept upstairs in
silence
Yule passed the night in the study Towards morning he slept for an hour or
two just long enough to let the fire go out and to get thoroughly chilled When
he opened his eyes a muddy twilight had begun to show at the window the sounds
of a clapping door within the house which had probably awakened him made him
aware that the servant was already up
He drew up the blind There seemed to be a frost for the moisture of last
night had all disappeared and the yard upon which the window looked was
unusually clean With a glance at the black grate he extinguished his lamp and
went out into the passage A few minutes groping for his overcoat and hat and
he left the house
His purpose was to warm himself with a vigorous walk and at the same time
to shake off if possible the nightmare of his rage and hopelessness He had no
distinct feeling with regard to his behaviour of the past evening he neither
justified nor condemned himself he did not ask himself whether Marian would
today leave her home or if her mother would take him at his word and also
depart These seemed to be details which his brain was too weary to consider
But he wished to be away from the wretchedness of his house and to let things
go as they would whilst he was absent As he closed the front door he felt as if
he were escaping from an atmosphere that threatened to stifle him
His steps directing themselves more by habit than with any deliberate
choice he walked towards Camden Road When he had reached Camden Town
railwaystation he was attracted by a coffeestall a draught of the steaming
liquid no matter its quality would help his blood to circulate He laid down
his penny and first warmed his hands by holding them round the cup Whilst
standing thus he noticed that the objects at which he looked had a blurred
appearance his eyesight seemed to have become worse this morning Only a result
of his insufficient sleep perhaps He took up a scrap of newspaper that lay on
the stall he could read it but one of his eyes was certainly weaker than the
other trying to see with that one alone he found that everything became misty
He laughed as if the threat of new calamity were an amusement in his
present state of mind And at the same moment his look encountered that of a man
who had drawn near to him a shabbilydressed man of middle age whose face did
not correspond with his attire
»Will you give me a cup of coffee« asked the stranger in a low voice and
with a shamefaced manner »It would be a great kindness«
The accent was that of good breeding Yule hesitated in surprise for a
moment then said
»Have one by all means Would you care for anything to eat«
»I am much obliged to you I think I should be none the worse for one of
those solid slices of bread and butter«
The stallkeeper was just extinguishing his lights the frosty sky showed a
pale gleam of sunrise
»Hard times Im afraid« remarked Yule as his beneficiary began to eat the
luncheon with much appearance of grateful appetite
»Very hard times« He had a small thin colourless countenance with large
pathetic eyes a slight moustache and curly beard His clothes were such as
would be worn by some very poor clerk »I came here an hour ago« he continued
»with the hope of meeting an acquaintance who generally goes from this station
at a certain time I have missed him and in doing so I missed what I had
thought my one chance of a breakfast When one has neither dined nor supped on
the previous day breakfast becomes a meal of some importance«
»True Take another slice«
»I am greatly obliged to you«
»Not at all I have known hard times myself and am likely to know worse«
»I trust not This is the first time that I have positively begged I
should have been too much ashamed to beg of the kind of men who are usually at
these places they certainly have no money to spare I was thinking of making an
appeal at a bakers shop but it is very likely I should have been handed over
to a policeman Indeed I dont know what I should have done the last point of
endurance was almost reached I have no clothes but these I wear and they are
few enough for the season Still I suppose the waistcoat must have gone«
He did not talk like a beggar who is trying to excite compassion but with a
sort of detached curiosity concerning the difficulties of his position
»You can find nothing to do« said the man of letters
»Positively nothing By profession I am a surgeon but its a long time
since I practised Fifteen years ago I was comfortably established at Wakefield
I was married and had one child But my capital ran out and my practice never
anything to boast of fell to nothing I succeeded in getting a place as an
assistant to a man at Chester We sold up and started on the journey«
He paused looking at Yule in a strange way
»What happened then«
»You probably dont remember a railway accident that took place near Crewe
in that year it was 1869 I and my wife and child were alone in a carriage
that was splintered One moment I was talking with them in fairly good spirits
and my wife was laughing at something I had said the next there were two
crushed bleeding bodies at my feet I had a broken arm that was all Well
they were killed on the instant they didnt suffer That has been my one
consolation«
Yule kept the silence of sympathy
»I was in a lunatic asylum for more than a year after that« continued the
man »Unhappily I didnt lose my senses at the moment it took two or three
weeks to bring me to that pass But I recovered and there has been no return of
the disease Dont suppose that I am still of unsound mind There can be little
doubt that poverty will bring me to that again in the end but as yet I am
perfectly sane I have supported myself in various ways No I dont drink I
see the question in your face But I am physically weak and to quote Mrs
Gummidge things go contrairy with me Theres no use lamenting this breakfast
has helped me on and I feel in much better spirits«
»Your surgical knowledge is no use to you«
The other shook his head and sighed
»Did you ever give any special attention to diseases of the eyes«
»Special no But of course I had some acquaintance with the subject«
»Could you tell by examination whether a man was threatened with cataract
or anything of that kind«
»I think I could«
»I am speaking of myself«
The stranger made a close scrutiny of Yules face and asked certain
questions with reference to his visual sensations
»I hardly like to propose it« he said at length »but if you were willing
to accompany me to a very poor room that I have not far from here I could make
the examination formally«
»I will go with you«
They turned away from the stall and the exsurgeon led into a bystreet
Yule wondered at himself for caring to seek such a singular consultation but he
had a pressing desire to hear some opinion as to the state of his eyes Whatever
the stranger might tell him he would afterwards have recourse to a man of
recognised standing but just now companionship of any kind was welcome and the
poor hungry fellow with his dolorous lifestory had made appeal to his
sympathies To give money under guise of a fee would be better than merely
offering alms
»This is the house« said his guide pausing at a dirty door »It isnt
inviting but the people are honest so far as I know My room is at the top«
»Lead on« answered Yule
In the room they entered was nothing noticeable it was only the poorest
possible kind of bedchamber or all but the poorest possible Daylight had now
succeeded to dawn yet the first thing the stranger did was to strike a match
and light a candle
»Will you kindly place yourself with your back to the window« he said »I
am going to apply what is called the catoptric test You have probably heard of
it«
»My ignorance of scientific matters is fathomless«
The other smiled and at once offered a simple explanation of the term By
the appearance of the candle as it reflected itself in the patients eye it was
possible he said to decide whether cataract had taken hold upon the organ
For a minute or two he conducted his experiment carefully and Yule was at
no loss to read the result upon his face
»How long have you suspected that something was wrong« the surgeon asked
as he put down the candle
»For several months«
»You havent consulted anyone«
»No one I have kept putting it off Just tell me what you have discovered«
»The back of the right lens is affected beyond a doubt«
»That means I take it that before very long I shall be practically blind«
»I dont like to speak with an air of authority After all I am only a
surgeon who has bungled himself into pauperdom You must see a competent man
that much I can tell you in all earnestness Do you use your eyes much«
»Fourteen hours a day thats all«
»Hm You are a literary man I think«
»I am My name is Alfred Yule«
He had some faint hope that the name might be recognised that would have
gone far for the moment to counteract his trouble But not even this poor
satisfaction was to be granted him to his hearer the name evidently conveyed
nothing
»See a competent man Mr Yule Science has advanced rapidly since the day
when I was a student I am only able to assure you of the existence of disease«
They talked for half an hour until both were shaking with cold Then Yule
thrust his hand into his pocket
»You will of course allow me to offer such return as I am able« he said
»The information isnt pleasant but I am glad to have it«
He laid five shillings on the chest of drawers there was no table The
stranger expressed his gratitude
»My name is Duke« he said »and I was christened Victor possibly because
I was doomed to defeat in life I wish you could have associated the memory of
me with happier circumstances«
They shook hands and Yule quitted the house
He came out again by Camden Town station The coffeestall had disappeared
the traffic of the great highway was growing uproarious Among all the
strugglers for existence who rushed this way and that Alfred Yule felt himself
a man chosen for fates heaviest infliction He never questioned the accuracy of
the strangers judgment and he hoped for no mitigation of the doom it
threatened His life was over and wasted
He might as well go home and take his place meekly by the fireside He was
beaten Soon to be a useless old man a burden and annoyance to whosoever had
pity on him
It was a curious effect of the imagination that since coming into the open
air again his eyesight seemed to be far worse than before He irritated his
nerves of vision by incessant tests closing first one eye then the other
comparing his view of nearer objects with the appearance of others more remote
fancying an occasional pain which could have had no connection with his
disease The literary projects which had stirred so actively in his mind twelve
hours ago were become an insubstantial memory to the one crushing blow had
succeeded a second which was fatal He could hardly recall what special piece
of work he had been engaged upon last night His thoughts were such as if actual
blindness had really fallen upon him
At halfpast eight he entered the house Mrs Yule was standing at the foot
of the stairs she looked at him then turned away towards the kitchen He went
upstairs On coming down again he found breakfast ready as usual and seated
himself at the table Two letters waited him there he opened them
When Mrs Yule came into the room a few moments later she was astonished by a
burst of loud mocking laughter from her husband excited as it appeared by
something he was reading
»Is Marian up« he asked turning to her
»Yes«
»She is not coming to breakfast«
»No«
»Then just take that letter to her and ask her to read it«
Mrs Yule ascended to her daughters bedroom She knocked was bidden enter
and found Marian packing clothes in a trunk The girl looked as if she had been
up all night her eyes bore the traces of much weeping
»He has come back dear« said Mrs Yule in the low voice of apprehension
»and he says you are to read this letter«
Marian took the sheet unfolded it and read As soon as she had reached the
end she looked wildly at her mother seemed to endeavour vainly to speak then
fell to the floor in unconsciousness The mother was only just able to break the
violence of her fall Having snatched a pillow and placed it beneath Marians
head she rushed to the door and called loudly for her husband who in a moment
appeared
»What is it« she cried to him »Look she has fallen down in a faint Why
are you treating her like this«
»Attend to her« Yule replied roughly »I suppose you know better than I do
what to do when a person faints«
The swoon lasted for several minutes
»Whats in the letter« asked Mrs Yule whilst chafing the lifeless hands
»Her moneys lost The people who were to pay it have just failed«
»She wont get anything«
»Most likely nothing at all«
The letter was a private communication from one of John Yules executors It
seemed likely that the demand upon Turberville amp Co for an account of the
deceased partners share in their business had helped to bring about a crisis in
affairs that were already unstable Something might be recovered in the legal
proceedings that would result but there were circumstances which made the
outlook very doubtful
As Marian came to herself her father left the room An hour afterwards Mrs
Yule summoned him again to the girls chamber he went and found Marian lying
on the bed looking like one who had been long ill
»I wish to ask you a few questions« she said without raising herself
»Must my legacy necessarily be paid out of that investment«
»It must Those are the terms of the will«
»If nothing can be recovered from those people I have no remedy«
»None whatever that I can see«
»But when a firm is bankrupt they generally pay some portion of their
debts«
»Sometimes I know nothing of the case«
»This of course happens to me« Marian said with intense bitterness »None
of the other legatees will suffer I suppose«
»Someone must but to a very small extent«
»Of course When shall I have direct information«
»You can write to Mr Holden you have his address«
»Thank you Thats all«
He was dismissed and went quietly away
Chapter 30
Waiting on Destiny
Throughout the day Marian kept her room Her intention to leave the house was
of course abandoned she was the prisoner of fate Mrs Yule would have tended
her with unremitting devotion but the girl desired to be alone At times she
lay in silent anguish frequently her tears broke forth and she sobbed until
weariness overcame her In the afternoon she wrote a letter to Mr Holden
begging that she might be kept constantly acquainted with the progress of
things
At five her mother brought tea
»Wouldnt it be better if you went to bed now Marian« she suggested
»To bed But I am going out in an hour or two«
»Oh you cant dear Its so bitterly cold It wouldnt be good for you«
»I have to go out mother so we wont speak of it«
It was not safe to reply Mrs Yule sat down and watched the girl raise the
cup to her mouth with trembling hand
»This wont make any difference to you in the end my darling« the mother
ventured to say at length alluding for the first time to the effect of the
catastrophe on Marians immediate prospects
»Of course not« was the reply in a tone of selfpersuasion
»Mr Milvain is sure to have plenty of money before long«
»Yes«
»You feel much better now dont you«
»Much I am quite well again«
At seven Marian went out Finding herself weaker than she had thought she
stopped an empty cab that presently passed her and so drove to the Milvains
lodgings In her agitation she inquired for Mr Milvain instead of for Dora as
was her habit it mattered very little for the landlady and her servants were
of course under no misconception regarding this young ladys visits Jasper was
at home and working He had but to look at Marian to see that something
wretched had been going on at her home naturally he supposed it the result of
his letter to Mr Yule
»Your father has been behaving brutally« he said holding her hands and
gazing anxiously at her
»There is something far worse than that Jasper«
»Worse«
She threw off her outdoor things then took the fatal letter from her pocket
and handed it to him Jasper gave a whistle of consternation and looked
vacantly from the paper to Marians countenance
»How the deuce comes this about« he exclaimed »Why wasnt your uncle
aware of the state of things«
»Perhaps he was He may have known that the legacy was a mere form«
»You are the only one affected«
»So father says Its sure to be the case«
»This has upset you horribly I can see Sit down Marian When did the
letter come«
»This morning«
»And you have been fretting over it all day But come we must keep up our
courage you may get something substantial out of the scoundrels still«
Even whilst he spoke his eyes wandered absently On the last word his voice
failed and he fell into abstraction Marians look was fixed upon him and he
became conscious of it He tried to smile
»What were you writing« she asked making involuntary diversion from the
calamitous theme
»Rubbish for the WillotheWisp Listen to this paragraph about English
concert audiences«
It was as necessary to him as to her to have a respite before the graver
discussion began He seized gladly the opportunity she offered and read several
pages of manuscript slipping from one topic to another To hear him one would
have supposed that he was in his ordinary mood he laughed at his own jokes and
points
»Theyll have to pay me more« was the remark with which he closed »I only
wanted to make myself indispensable to them and at the end of this year I shall
feel pretty sure of that Theyll have to give me two guineas a column by Jove
they will«
»And you may hope for much more than that maynt you before long«
»Oh I shall transfer myself to a better paper presently It seems to me I
must be stirring to some purpose«
He gave her a significant look
»What shall we do Jasper«
»Work and wait I suppose«
»Theres something I must tell you Father said I had better sign that
Harrington article myself If I do that I shall have a right to the money I
think It will at least be eight guineas And why shouldnt I go on writing for
myself for us You can help me to think of subjects«
»First of all what about my letter to your father We are forgetting all
about it«
»He refused to answer«
Marian avoided closer description of what had happened It was partly that
she felt ashamed of her fathers unreasoning wrath and feared lest Jaspers
pride might receive an injury from which she in turn would suffer partly that
she was unwilling to pain her lover by making display of all she had undergone
»Oh he refused to reply Surely that is extreme behaviour«
What she dreaded seemed to be coming to pass Jasper stood rather stiffly
and threw his head back
»You know the reason dear That prejudice has entered into his very life
It is not you he dislikes that is impossible He thinks of you only as he would
of anyone connected with Mr Fadge«
»Well well it isnt a matter of much moment But what I have in mind is
this Will it be possible for you whilst living at home to take a position of
independence and say that you are going to work for your own profit«
»At least I might claim half the money I can earn And I was thinking more
of «
»Of what«
»When I am your wife I may be able to help I could earn thirty or forty
pounds a year I think That would pay the rent of a small house«
She spoke with shaken voice her eyes fixed upon his face
»But my dear Marian we surely oughtnt to think of marrying so long as
expenses are so nicely fitted as all that«
»No I only meant «
She faltered and her tongue became silent as her heart sank
»It simply means« pursued Jasper seating himself and crossing his legs
»that I must move heaven and earth to improve my position You know that my
faith in myself is not small theres no knowing what I might do if I used every
effort But upon my word I dont see much hope of our being able to marry for
a year or two under the most favourable circumstances«
»No I quite understand that«
»Can you promise to keep a little love for me all that time« he asked with
a constrained smile
»You know me too well to fear«
»I thought you seemed a little doubtful«
His tone was not altogether that which makes banter pleasant between lovers
Marian looked at him fearfully Was it possible for him in truth so to
misunderstand her He had never satisfied her hearts desire of infinite love
she never spoke with him but she was oppressed with the suspicion that his love
was not as great as hers and worse still that he did not wholly comprehend
the selfsurrender which she strove to make plain in every word
»You dont say that seriously Jasper«
»But answer seriously«
»How can you doubt that I would wait faithfully for you for years if it were
necessary«
»It mustnt be years thats very certain I think it preposterous for a man
to hold a woman bound in that hopeless way«
»But what question is there of holding me bound Is love dependent on fixed
engagements Do you feel that if we agreed to part your love would be at once
a thing of the past«
»Why no of course not«
»Oh but how coldly you speak Jasper«
She could not breathe a word which might be interpreted as fear lest the
change of her circumstances should make a change in his feeling Yet that was in
her mind The existence of such a fear meant of course that she did not
entirely trust him and viewed his character as something less than noble Very
seldom indeed is a woman free from such doubts however absolute her love and
perhaps it is just as rare for a man to credit in his heart all the praises he
speaks of his beloved Passion is compatible with a great many of these
imperfections of intellectual esteem To see more clearly into Jaspers
personality was for Marian to suffer the more intolerable dread lest she
should lose him
She went to his side Her heart ached because in her great misery he had
not fondled her and intoxicated her senses with loving words
»How can I make you feel how much I love you« she murmured
»You mustnt be so literal dearest Women are so desperately
matteroffact it comes out even in their lovetalk«
Marian was not without perception of the irony of such an opinion on
Jaspers lips
»I am content for you to think so« she said »There is only one fact in my
life of any importance and I can never lose sight of it«
»Well now we are quite sure of each other Tell me plainly do you think me
capable of forsaking you because you have perhaps lost your money«
The question made her wince If delicacy had held her tongue it had not
control of his
»How can I answer that better« she said »than by saying I love you«
It was no answer and Jasper though obtuse compared with her understood
that it was none But the emotion which had prompted his words was genuine
enough Her touch the perfume of her passion had their exalting effect upon
him He felt in all sincerity that to forsake her would be a baseness revenged
by the loss of such a wife
»Theres an uphill fight before me thats all« he said »instead of the
pretty smooth course I have been looking forward to But I dont fear it
Marian Im not the fellow to be beaten You shall be my wife and you shall
have as many luxuries as if you had brought me a fortune«
»Luxuries Oh how childish you seem to think me«
»Not a bit of it Luxuries are a most important part of life I had rather
not live at all than never possess them Let me give you a useful hint if ever
I seem to you to flag just remind me of the difference between these lodgings
and a richly furnished house Just hint to me that Soandso the journalist
goes about in his carriage and can give his wife a box at the theatre Just ask
me casually how I should like to run over to the Riviera when London fogs are
thickest You understand Thats the way to keep me at it like a steamengine«
»You are right All those things enable one to live a better and fuller
life Oh how cruel that I that we are robbed in this way You can have no
idea how terrible a blow it was to me when I read that letter this morning«
She was on the point of confessing that she had swooned but something
restrained her
»Your father can hardly be sorry« said Jasper
»I think he speaks more harshly than he feels The worst was that until he
got your letter he had kept hoping that I would let him have the money for a new
review«
»Well for the present I prefer to believe that the money isnt all lost If
the blackguards pay ten shillings in the pound you will get two thousand five
hundred out of them and thats something But how do you stand Will your
position be that of an ordinary creditor«
»I am so ignorant I know nothing of such things«
»But of course your interests will be properly looked after Put yourself in
communication with this Mr Holden Ill have a look into the law on the subject
Let us hope as long as we can By Jove Theres no other way of facing it«
»No indeed«
»Mrs Reardon and the rest of them are safe enough I suppose«
»Oh no doubt«
»Confound them It grows upon one One doesnt take in the whole of such
misfortune at once We must hold on the last rag of hope and in the meantime
Ill half work myself to death Are you going to see the girls«
»Not tonight You must tell them«
»Dora will cry her eyes out Upon my word Maud ll have to draw in her
horns I must frighten her into economy and hard work«
He again lost himself in anxious reverie
»Marian couldnt you try your hand at fiction«
She started remembering that her father had put the same question so
recently
»Im afraid I could do nothing worth doing«
»That isnt exactly the question Could you do anything that would sell
With very moderate success in fiction you might make three times as much as you
ever will by magazine potboilers A girl like you Oh you might manage I
should think«
»A girl like me«
»Well I mean that lovescenes and that kind of thing would be very much
in your line«
Marian was not given to blushing very few girls are even on strong
provocation For the first time Jasper saw her cheeks colour deeply and it was
with anything but pleasure His words were coarsely inconsiderate and wounded
her
»I think that is not my work« she said coldly looking away
»But surely theres no harm in my saying « he paused in astonishment »I
meant nothing that could offend you«
»I know you didnt Jasper But you make me think that «
»Dont be so literal again my dear girl Come here and forgive me«
She did not approach but only because the painful thought he had excited
kept her to that spot
»Come Marian Then I must come to you«
He did so and held her in his arms
»Try your hand at a novel dear if you can possibly make time Put me in
it if you like and make me an insensible masculine The experiment is worth a
try Im certain At all events do a few chapters and let me see them A chapter
neednt take you more than a couple of hours I should think«
Marian refrained from giving any promise She seemed irresponsive to his
caresses That thought which at times gives trouble to all women of strong
emotions was working in her had she been too demonstrative and made her love
too cheap Now that Jaspers love might be endangered it behoved her to use any
arts which nature prompted And so for once he was not wholly satisfied with
her and at their parting he wondered what subtle change had affected her manner
to him
»Why didnt Marian come to speak a word« said Dora when her brother
entered the girls sittingroom about ten oclock
»You knew she was with me then«
»We heard her voice as she was going away«
»She brought me some enspiriting news and thought it better I should have
the reporting of it to you«
With brevity he made known what had befallen
»Cheerful isnt it The kind of thing that strengthens ones trust in
Providence«
The girls were appalled Maud who was reading by the fireside let her book
fall to her lap and knit her brows darkly
»Then your marriage must be put off of course« said Dora
»Well I shouldnt be surprised if that were found necessary« replied her
brother caustically He was able now to give vent to the feeling which in
Marians presence was suppressed partly out of consideration for her and
partly owing to her influence
»And shall we have to go back to our old lodgings again« inquired Maud
Jasper gave no answer but kicked a footstool savagely out of his way and
paced the room
»Oh do you think we need« said Dora with unusual protest against economy
»Remember that its a matter for your own consideration« Jasper replied at
length »You are living on your own resources you know«
Maud glanced at her sister but Dora was preoccupied
»Why do you prefer to stay here« Jasper asked abruptly of the younger girl
»It is so very much nicer« she replied with some embarrassment
He bit the ends of his moustache and his eyes glared at the impalpable
thwarting force that to imagination seemed to fill the air about him
»A lesson against being overhasty« he muttered again kicking the
footstool
»Did you make that considerate remark to Marian« asked Maud
»There would have been no harm if I had done She knows that I shouldnt
have been such an ass as to talk of marriage without the prospect of something
to live upon«
»I suppose shes wretched« said Dora
»What else can you expect«
»And did you propose to release her from the burden of her engagement« Maud
inquired
»Its a confounded pity that youre not rich Maud« replied her brother
with an involuntary laugh »You would have a brilliant reputation for wit«
He walked about and ejaculated splenetic phrases on the subject of his
illluck
»We are here and here we must stay« was the final expression of his mood
»I have only one superstition that I know of and that forbids me to take a step
backward If I went into poorer lodgings again I should feel it was inviting
defeat I shall stay as long as the position is tenable Let us get on to
Christmas and then see how things look Heavens Suppose we had married and
after that lost the money«
»You would have been no worse off than plenty of literary men« said Dora
»Perhaps not But as I have made up my mind to be considerably better off
than most literary men that reflection wouldnt console me much Things are in
status quo thats all I have to rely upon my own efforts Whats the time
Halfpast ten I can get two hours work before going to bed«
And nodding a goodnight he left them
When Marian entered the house and went upstairs she was followed by her mother
On Mrs Yules countenance there was a new distress she had been crying
recently
»Have you seen him« the mother asked
»Yes We have talked about it«
»What does he wish you to do dear«
»Theres nothing to be done except wait«
»Father has been telling me something Marian« said Mrs Yule after a long
silence »He says he is going to be blind Theres something the matter with his
eyes and he went to see someone about it this afternoon Hell get worse and
worse until there has been an operation and perhaps hell never be able to use
his eyes properly again«
The girl listened in an attitude of despair
»He has seen an oculist a really good doctor«
»He says he went to one of the best«
»And how did he speak to you«
»He doesnt seem to care much what happens He talked of going to the
workhouse and things like that But it couldnt ever come to that could it
Marian Wouldnt somebody help him«
»Theres not much help to be expected in this world« answered the girl
Physical weariness brought her a few hours of oblivion as soon as she had
lain down but her sleep came to an end in the early morning when the pressure
of evil dreams forced her back to consciousness of real sorrows and cares A
fogveiled sky added its weight to crush her spirit at the hour when she
usually rose it was still all but as dark as midnight Her mothers voice at the
door begged her to lie and rest until it grew lighter and she willingly
complied feeling indeed scarcely capable of leaving her bed
The thick black fog penetrated every corner of the house It could be smelt
and tasted Such an atmosphere produces lowspirited languor even in the
vigorous and hopeful to those wasted by suffering it is the very reek of the
bottomless pit poisoning the soul Her face colourless as the pillow Marian
lay neither sleeping nor awake in blank extremity of woe tears now and then ran
down her cheeks and at times her body was shaken with a throe such as might
result from anguish of the torture chamber
Midway in the morning when it was still necessary to use artificial light
she went down to the sittingroom The course of household life had been thrown
into confusion by the disasters of the last day or two Mrs Yule who occupied
herself almost exclusively with questions of economy cleanliness and routine
had not the heart to pursue her round of duties and this morning though under
normal circumstances she would have been busy in turning out the diningroom
she moved aimlessly and despondently about the house giving the servant
contradictory orders and then blaming herself for her absentmindedness In the
troubles of her husband and her daughter she had scarcely greater share so far
as active participation went than if she had been only a faithful old
housekeeper she could only grieve and lament that such discord had come between
the two whom she loved and that in herself was no power even to solace their
distresses Marian found her standing in the passage with a duster in one hand
and a hearthbrush in the other
»Your father has asked to see you when you come down« Mrs Yule whispered
»Ill go to him«
Marian entered the study Her father was not in his place at the
writingtable nor yet seated in the chair which he used when he had leisure to
draw up to the fireside he sat in front of one of the bookcases bent forward
as if seeking a volume but his chin was propped upon his hand and he had
maintained this position for a long time He did not immediately move When he
raised his head Marian saw that he looked older and she noticed or fancied
she did that there was some unfamiliar peculiarity about his eyes
»I am obliged to you for coming« he began with distant formality »Since I
saw you last I have learnt something which makes a change in my position and
prospects and it is necessary to speak on the subject I wont detain you more
than a few minutes«
He coughed and seemed to consider his next words
»Perhaps I neednt repeat what I have told your mother You have learnt it
from her I dare say«
»Yes with much grief«
»Thank you but we will leave aside that aspect of the matter For a few
more months I may be able to pursue my ordinary work but before long I shall
certainly be disabled from earning my livelihood by literature Whether this
will in any way affect your own position I dont know Will you have the
goodness to tell me whether you still purpose leaving this house«
»I have no means of doing so«
»Is there any likelihood of your marriage taking place let us say within
four months«
»Only if the executors recover my money or a large portion of it«
»I understand My reason for asking is this My lease of this house
terminates at the end of next March and I shall certainly not be justified in
renewing it If you are able to provide for yourself in any way it will be
sufficient for me to rent two rooms after that This disease which affects my
eyes may be only temporary in due time an operation may render it possible for
me to work again In hope of that I shall probably have to borrow a sum of money
on the security of my life insurance though in the first instance I shall make
the most of what I can get for the furniture of the house and a large part of my
library your mother and I could live at very slight expense in lodgings If the
disease prove irremediable I must prepare myself for the worst What I wish to
say is that it will be better if from today you consider yourself as working
for your own subsistence So long as I remain here this house is of course your
home there can be no question between us of trivial expenses But it is right
that you should understand what my prospects are I shall soon have no home to
offer you you must look to your own efforts for support«
»I am prepared to do that father«
»I think you will have no great difficulty in earning enough for yourself I
have done my best to train you in writing for the periodicals and your natural
abilities are considerable If you marry I wish you a happy life The end of
mine of many long years of unremitting toil is failure and destitution«
Marian sobbed
»Thats all I had to say« concluded her father his voice tremulous with
selfcompassion »I will only beg that there may be no further profitless
discussion between us This room is open to you as always and I see no reason
why we should not converse on subjects disconnected with our personal
differences«
»Is there no remedy for cataract in its early stages« asked Marian
»None You can read up the subject for yourself at the British Museum I
prefer not to speak of it«
»Will you let me be what help to you I can«
»For the present the best you can do is to establish a connection for
yourself with editors Your name will be an assistance to you My advice is
that you send your Harrington article forthwith to Trenchard writing him a
note If you desire my help in the suggestion of new subjects I will do my best
to be of use«
Marian withdrew She went to the sittingroom where an ochreous daylight
was beginning to diffuse itself and to render the lamp superfluous With the
dissipation of the fog rain had set in its splashing upon the muddy pavement
was audible
Mrs Yule still with a duster in her hand sat on the sofa Marian took a
place beside her They talked in low broken tones and wept together over their
miseries
Chapter 31
A Rescue and a Summons
The chances are that you have neither understanding nor sympathy for men such as
Edwin Reardon and Harold Biffen They merely provoke you They seem to you
inert flabby weakly envious foolishly obstinate impiously mutinous and many
other things You are made angrily contemptuous by their failure to get on why
dont they bestir themselves push and bustle welcome kicks so long as
halfpence follow make a place in the worlds eye in short take a leaf from
the book of Mr Jasper Milvain
But try to imagine a personality wholly unfitted for the rough and tumble of
the worlds labourmarket From the familiar point of view these men were
worthless view them in possible relation to a humane order of society and they
are admirable citizens Nothing is easier than to condemn a type of character
which is unequal to the coarse demands of life as it suits the average man
These two were richly endowed with the kindly and the imaginative virtues if
fate threw them amid incongruous circumstances is their endowment of less
value You scorn their passivity but it was their nature and their merit to be
passive Gifted with independent means each of them would have taken quite a
different aspect in your eyes The sum of their faults was their inability to
earn money but indeed that inability does not call for unmingled disdain
It was very weak of Harold Biffen to come so near perishing of hunger as he
did in the days when he was completing his novel But he would have vastly
preferred to eat and be satisfied had any method of obtaining food presented
itself to him He did not starve for the pleasure of the thing I assure you
Pupils were difficult to get just now and writing that he had sent to magazines
had returned upon his hands He pawned such of his possessions as he could
spare and he reduced his meals to the mimimum Nor was he uncheerful in his
cold garret and with his empty stomach for »Mr Bailey Grocer« drew steadily
to an end
He worked very slowly The book would make perhaps two volumes of ordinary
novel size but he had laboured over it for many months patiently
affectionately scrupulously Each sentence was as good as he could make it
harmonious to the ear with words of precious meaning skilfully set Before
sitting down to a chapter he planned it minutely in his mind then he wrote a
rough draft of it then he elaborated the thing phrase by phrase He had not
thought of whether such toil would be recompensed in coin of the realm nay it
was his conviction that if with difficulty published it could scarcely bring
him money The work must be significant that was all he cared for And he had
no society of admiring friends to encourage him Reardon understood the merit of
the workmanship but frankly owned that the book was repulsive to him To the
public it would be worse than repulsive tedious utterly uninteresting No
matter it drew to its end
The day of its completion was made memorable by an event decidedly more
exciting even to the author
At eight oclock in the evening there remained half a page to be written
Biffen had already worked about nine hours and on breaking off to appease his
hunger he doubted whether to finish tonight or to postpone the last lines till
tomorrow The discovery that only a small crust of bread lay in the cupboard
decided him to write no more he would have to go out to purchase a loaf and
that was disturbance
But stay had he enough money He searched his pockets Two pence and two
farthings no more
You are probably not aware that at bakers shops in the poor quarters the
price of the halfquartern loaf varies sometimes from week to week At present
as Biffen knew it was twopence threefarthings a common figure But Harold
did not possess three farthings only two Reflecting he remembered to have
passed yesterday a shop where the bread was marked twopence halfpenny it was a
shop in a very obscure little street off Hampstead Road some distance from
Clipstone Street Thither he must repair He had only his hat and a muffler to
put on for again he was wearing his overcoat in default of the under one and
his ragged umbrella to take from the corner so he went forth
To his delight the twopence halfpenny announcement was still in the bakers
window He obtained a loaf wrapped it in the piece of paper he had brought
small bakers decline to supply paper for this purpose and strode joyously
homeward again
Having eaten he looked longingly at his manuscript But half a page more
Should he not finish it tonight The temptation was irresistible He sat down
wrought with unusual speed and at halfpast ten wrote with magnificent flourish
The End
His fire was out and he had neither coals nor wood But his feet were frozen
into lifelessness Impossible to go to bed like this he must take another turn
in the streets It would suit his humour to ramble a while Had it not been so
late he would have gone to see Reardon who expected the communication of this
glorious news
So again he locked his door Halfway downstairs he stumbled over something
or somebody in the dark
»Who is that« he cried
The answer was a loud snore Biffen went to the bottom of the house and
called to the landlady
»Mrs Willoughby Who is asleep on the stairs«
»Why I spect its Mr Briggs« replied the woman indulgently »Dont you
mind him Mr Biffen Theres no arm hes only had a little too much Ill go
up an make him go to bed as soon as Ive got my ands clean«
»The necessity for waiting till then isnt obvious« remarked the realist
with a chuckle and went his way
He walked at a sharp pace for more than an hour and about midnight drew
near to his own quarter again He had just turned up by the Middlesex Hospital
and was at no great distance from Clipstone Street when a yell and scamper
caught his attention a group of loafing blackguards on the opposite side of the
way had suddenly broken up and as they rushed off he heard the word »Fire«
This was too common an occurrence to disturb his equanimity he wondered
absently in which street the fire might be but trudged on without a thought of
making investigation Repeated yells and rushes however assailed his apathy
Two women came tearing by him and he shouted to them »Where is it«
»In Clipstone Street they say« one screamed back
He could no longer be unconcerned If in his own street the conflagration
might be in the very house he inhabited and in that case He set off at a run
Ahead of him was a thickening throng its position indicating the entrance to
Clipstone Street Soon he found his progress retarded he had to dodge this way
and that to force progress to guard himself against overthrows by the torrent
of ruffiandom which always breaks forth at the cry of fire He could now smell
the smoke and all at once a black volume of it bursting from upper windows
alarmed his sight At once he was aware that if not his own dwelling it must
be one of those on either side that was in flames As yet no engine had arrived
and straggling policemen were only just beginning to make their way to the scene
of uproar By dint of violent effort Biffen moved forward yard by yard A tongue
of flame which suddenly illumined the fronts of the houses put an end to his
doubt
»Let me get past« he shouted to the gaping and swaying mass of people in
front of him »I live there I must go upstairs to save something«
His educated accent moved attention Repeating the demand again and again he
succeeded in getting forward and at length was near enough to see that people
were dragging articles of furniture out on to the pavement
»That you Mr Biffen« cried someone to him
He recognised the face of a fellowlodger
»Is it possible to get up to my room« broke frantically from his lips
»Youll never get up there Its that Briggs« the epithet was
alliterative »as upset his lamp and I ope hell well get roasted to
death«
Biffen leaped on to the threshold and crashed against Mrs Willoughby the
landlady who was carrying a huge bundle of household linen
»I told you to look after that drunken brute« he said to her »Can I get
upstairs«
»What do I care whether you can or not« the woman shrieked »My God And
all them new chairs as I bought «
He heard no more but bounded over a confusion of obstacles and in a moment
was on the landing of the first storey Here he encountered a man who had not
lost his head a stalwart mechanic engaged in slipping clothes on to two little
children
»If somebody dont drag that fellow Briggs down hell be dead« observed the
man »Hes layin outside his door I pulled him out but I cant do no more for
him«
Smoke grew thick on the staircase Burning was as yet confined to that front
room on the second floor tenanted by Briggs the disastrous but in all
likelihood the ceiling was ablaze and if so it would be all but impossible for
Biffen to gain his own chamber which was at the back on the floor above No one
was making an attempt to extinguish the fire personal safety and the rescue of
their possessions alone occupied the thoughts of such people as were still in
the house Desperate with the dread of losing his manuscript his toil his one
hope the realist scarcely stayed to listen to a warning that the fumes were
impassable with head bent he rushed up to the next landing There lay Briggs
perchance already stifled and through the open door Biffen had a horrible
vision of furnace fury To go yet higher would have been madness but for one
encouragement he knew that on his own storey was a ladder giving access to a
trapdoor by which he might issue on to the roof whence escape to the adjacent
houses would be practicable Again a leap forward
In fact not two minutes elapsed from his commencing the ascent of the
stairs to the moment when all but fainting he thrust the key into his door and
fell forward into purer air Fell for he was on his knees and had begun to
suffer from a sense of failing power a sick whirling of the brain a terror of
hideous death His manuscript was on the table where he had left it after
regarding and handling it with joyful selfcongratulation though it was pitch
dark in the room he could at once lay his hand on the heap of paper Now he had
it now it was jammed tight under his left arm now he was out again on the
landing in smoke more deadly than ever
He said to himself »If I cannot instantly break out by the trapdoor its
all over with me« That the exit would open to a vigorous thrust he knew having
amused himself not long ago by going on to the roof He touched the ladder
sprang upwards and felt the trap above him But he could not push it back »Im
a dead man« flashed across his mind »and all for the sake of Mr Bailey
Grocer« A frenzied effort the last of which his muscles were capable and the
door yielded His head was now through the aperture and though the smoke swept
up about him that gasp of cold air gave him strength to throw himself on the
flat portion of the roof that he had reached
So for a minute or two he lay Then he was able to stand to survey his
position and to walk along by the parapet He looked down upon the surging and
shouting crowd in Clipstone Street but could see it only at intervals owing to
the smoke that rolled from the front windows below him
What he had now to do he understood perfectly This roof was divided from
those on either hand by a stack of chimneys to get round the end of these
stacks was impossible or at all events too dangerous a feat unless it were the
last resource but by climbing to the apex of the slates he would be able to
reach the chimneypots to drag himself up to them and somehow to tumble over
on to the safer side To this undertaking he forthwith addressed himself
Without difficulty he reached the ridge standing on it he found that only by
stretching his arm to the utmost could he grip the top of a chimneypot Had he
the strength necessary to raise himself by such a hold And suppose the pot
broke
His life was still in danger the increasing volumes of smoke warned him
that in a few minutes the uppermost storey might be in flames He took off his
overcoat to allow himself more freedom of action the manuscript now an
encumbrance must precede him over the chimneystack and there was only one way
of effecting that With care he stowed the papers into the pockets of the coat
then he rolled the garment together tied it up in its own sleeves took a
deliberate aim and the bundle was for the present in safety
Now for the gymnastic endeavour Standing on tiptoe he clutched the rim of
the chimneypot and strove to raise himself The hold was firm enough but his
arms were far too puny to perform such work even when death would be the
penalty of failure Too long he had lived on insufficient food and sat over the
debilitating desk He swung this way and that trying to throw one of his knees
as high as the top of the brickwork but there was no chance of his succeeding
Dropping on to the slates he sat there in perturbation
He must cry for help In front it was scarcely possible to stand by the
parapet owing to the black clouds of smoke now mingled with sparks perchance
he might attract the notice of some person either in the yards behind or at the
back windows of other houses The night was so obscure that he could not hope to
be seen voice alone must be depended upon and there was no certainty that it
would be heard far enough Though he stood in his shirtsleeves in a bitter wind
no sense of cold affected him his face was beaded with perspiration drawn forth
by his futile struggle to climb He let himself slide down the rear slope and
holding by the end of the chimney brickwork looked into the yards At the same
instant a face appeared to him that of a man who was trying to obtain a
glimpse of this roof from that of the next house by thrusting out his head
beyond the block of chimneys
»Hollo« cried the stranger »What are you doing there«
»Trying to escape of course Help me to get on to your roof«
»By God I expected to see the fire coming through already Are you the as
upset his lamp an fired the bloomin ouse«
»Not I Hes lying drunk on the stairs dead by this time«
»By God I wouldnt have helped you if youd been him How are you coming
round Blest if I see Youll break your bloomin neck if you try this corner
Youll have to come over the chimneys wait till I get a ladder«
»And a rope« shouted Biffen
The man disappeared for five minutes To Biffen it seemed half an hour he
felt or imagined he felt the slates getting hot beneath him and the smoke was
again catching his breath But at length there was a shout from the top of the
chimneystack The rescuer had seated himself on one of the pots and was about
to lower on Biffens side a ladder which had enabled him to ascend from the
other Biffen planted the lowest rung very carefully on the ridge of the roof
climbed as lightly as possible got a footing between two pots the ladder was
then pulled over and both men descended in safety
»Have you seen a coat lying about here« was Biffens first question »I
threw mine over«
»What did you do that for«
»There are some valuable papers in the pockets«
They searched in vain on neither side of the roof was the coat
discoverable
»You must have pitched it into the street« said the man
This was a terrible blow Biffen forgot his rescue from destruction in
lament for the loss of his manuscript He would have pursued the fruitless
search but his companion who feared that the fire might spread to adjoining
houses insisted on his passing through the trapdoor and descending the stairs
»If the coat fell into the street« Biffen said when they were down on the
ground floor »of course its lost it would be stolen at once But may not it
have fallen into your back yard«
He was standing in the midst of a cluster of alarmed people who stared at
him in astonishment for the reek through which he had fought his way had given
him the aspect of a sweep His suggestion prompted someone to run into the yard
with the result that a muddy bundle was brought in and exhibited to him
»Is this your coat Mister«
»Heaven be thanked Thats it There are valuable papers in the pockets«
He unrolled the garment felt to make sure that Mr Bailey was safe and
finally put it on
»Will anyone here let me sit down in a room and give me a drink of water«
he asked feeling now as if he must drop with exhaustion
The man who had rescued him performed this further kindness and for half an
hour whilst tumult indescribable raged about him Biffen sat recovering his
strength By that time the firemen were hard at work but one floor of the
burning house had already fallen through and it was probable that nothing but
the shell would be saved After giving a full account of himself to the people
among whom he had come Harold declared his intention of departing his need of
repose was imperative and he could not hope for it in this proximity to the
fire As he had no money his only course was to inquire for a room at some
house in the immediate neighbourhood where the people would receive him in a
charitable spirit
With the aid of the police he passed to where the crowd was thinner and
came out into Cleveland Street Here most of the housedoors were open and he
made several applications for hospitality but either his story was doubted or
his grimy appearance predisposed people against him At length when again his
strength was all but at an end he made appeal to a policeman
»Surely you can tell« he protested after explaining his position »that I
dont want to cheat anybody I shall have money tomorrow If no one will take
me in you must haul me on some charge to the police station I shall have to lie
down on the pavement in a minute«
The officer recognised a man who was standing halfdressed on a threshold
close by he stepped up to him and made representations which were successful
In a few minutes Biffen took possession of an underground room furnished as a
bedchamber which he agreed to rent for a week His landlord was not ungracious
and went so far as to supply him with warm water that he might in a measure
cleanse himself This operation rapidly performed the hapless author flung
himself into bed and before long was fast asleep
When he went upstairs about nine oclock in the morning he discovered that
his host kept an oilshop
»Lost everything have you« asked the man sympathetically
»Everything except the clothes I wear and some papers that I managed to
save All my books burnt«
Biffen shook his head dolorously
»Your accountbooks« cried the dealer in oil »Dear dear and what might
your business be«
The author corrected this misapprehension In the end he was invited to
break his fast which he did right willingly Then with assurances that he
would return before nightfall he left the house His steps were naturally first
directed to Clipstone Street the familiar abode was a gruesome ruin still
smoking Neighbours informed him that Mr Briggss body had been brought forth in
a horrible condition but this was the only loss of life that had happened
Thence he struck eastward and at eleven came to Manville Street Islington
He found Reardon by the fireside looking very ill and speaking with
hoarseness
»Another cold«
»It looks like it I wish you would take the trouble to go and buy me some
verminkiller That would suit my case«
»Then what would suit mine Behold me undeniably a philosopher in the
literal sense of the words omnia mea mecum porto«
He recounted his adventures and with such humorous vivacity that when he
ceased the two laughed together as if nothing more amusing had ever been heard
»Ah but my books my books« exclaimed Biffen with a genuine groan »And
all my notes At one fell swoop If I didnt laugh old friend I should sit
down and cry indeed I should All my classics with years of scribbling in the
margins How am I to buy them again«
»You rescued Mr Bailey He must repay you«
Biffen had already laid the manuscript on the table it was dirty and
crumpled but not to such an extent as to render copying necessary Lovingly he
smoothed the pages and set them in order then he wrapped the whole in a piece
of brown paper which Reardon supplied and wrote upon it the address of a firm
of publishers
»Have you notepaper Ill write to them impossible to call in my present
guise«
Indeed his attire was more like that of a bankrupt costermonger than of a
man of letters Collar he had none for the griminess of that he wore last night
had necessitated its being thrown aside round his throat was a dirty
handkerchief His coat had been brushed but its recent experiences had brought
it one stage nearer to that dissolution which must very soon be its fate His
grey trousers were now black and his boots looked as if they had not been
cleaned for weeks
»Shall I say anything about the character of the book« he asked seating
himself with pen and paper »Shall I hint that it deals with the ignobly
decent«
»Better let them form their own judgment« replied Reardon in his hoarse
voice
»Then Ill just say that I submit to them a novel of modern life the scope
of which is in some degree indicated by its title Pity they cant know how
nearly it became a holocaust and that I risked my life to save it If theyre
good enough to accept it Ill tell them the story And now Reardon Im ashamed
of myself but can you without inconvenience lend me ten shillings«
»Easily«
»I must write to two pupils to inform them of my change of address from
garret to cellar And I must ask help from my prosperous brother He gives it me
unreluctantly I know but I am always loath to apply to him May I use your
paper for these purposes«
The brother of whom he spoke was employed in a house of business at
Liverpool the two had not met for years but they corresponded and were on
terms such as Harold indicated When he had finished his letters and had
received the halfsovereign from Reardon he went his way to deposit the
brownpaper parcel at the publishers The clerk who received it from his hands
probably thought that the author might have chosen a more respectable messenger
Two days later early in the evening the friends were again enjoying each
others company in Reardons room Both were invalids for Biffen had of course
caught a cold from his exposure in shirtsleeves on the roof and he was
suffering from the shock to his nerves but the thought that his novel was safe
in the hands of publishers gave him energy to resist these influences The
absence of the pipe for neither had any palate for tobacco at present was the
only external peculiarity of this meeting There seemed no reason why they
should not meet frequently before the parting which would come at Christmas but
Reardon was in a mood of profound sadness and several times spoke as if already
he were bidding his friend farewell
»I find it difficult to think« he said »that you will always struggle on
in such an existence as this To every man of metal there does come an
opportunity and it surely is time for yours to present itself I have a
superstitious faith in Mr Bailey If he leads you to triumph dont altogether
forget me«
»Dont talk nonsense«
»What ages it seems since that day when I saw you in the library at
Hastings and heard you ask in vain for my book And how grateful I was to you
I wonder whether any mortal ever asks for my books nowadays Some day when I am
well established at Croydon you shall go to Mudies and make inquiry if my
novels ever by chance leave the shelves and then you shall give me a true and
faithful report of the answer you get He is quite forgotten the attendant will
say be sure of it«
»I think not«
»To have had even a small reputation and to have outlived it is a sort of
anticipation of death The man Edwin Reardon whose name was sometimes spoken in
a tone of interest is really and actually dead And what remains of me is
resigned to that I have an odd fancy that it will make death itself easier it
is as if only half of me had now to die«
Biffen tried to give a lighter turn to the gloomy subject
»Thinking of my fiery adventure« he said in his tone of dry deliberation
»I find it vastly amusing to picture you as a witness at the inquest if I had
been choked and consumed No doubt it would have been made known that I rushed
upstairs to save some particular piece of property several people heard me say
so and you alone would be able to conjecture what this was Imagine the gaping
wonderment of the coroners jury The Daily Telegraph would have made a leader
out of me This poor man was so strangely deluded as to the value of a novel in
manuscript which it appears he had just completed that he positively sacrificed
his life in the endeavour to rescue it from the flames And the Saturday would
have had a column of sneering jocosity on the irrepressibly sanguine temperament
of authors At all events I should have had my day of fame«
»But what an ignoble death it would have been« he pursued »Perishing in
the garret of a lodginghouse which caught fire by the overturning of a
drunkards lamp One would like to end otherwise«
»Where would you wish to die« asked Reardon musingly
»At home« replied the other with pathetic emphasis »I have never had a
home since I was a boy and am never likely to have one But to die at home is
an unreasoning hope I still cherish«
»If you had never come to London what would you have now been«
»Almost certainly a schoolmaster in some small town And one might be worse
off than that you know«
»Yes one might live peaceably enough in such a position And I I should
be in an estateagents office earning a sufficient salary and most likely
married to some unambitious country girl I should have lived an intelligible
life instead of only trying to live aiming at modes of life beyond my reach
My mistake was that of numberless men nowadays Because I was conscious of
brains I thought that the only place for me was London Its easy enough to
understand this common delusion We form our ideas of London from old
literature we think of London as if it were still the one centre of
intellectual life we think and talk like Chatterton But the truth is that
intellectual men in our day do their best to keep away from London when once
they know the place There are libraries everywhere papers and magazines reach
the north of Scotland as soon as they reach Brompton its only on rare
occasions for special kinds of work that one is bound to live in London And
as for recreation why now that no English theatre exists what is there in
London that you cant enjoy in almost any part of England At all events a
yearly visit of a week would be quite sufficient for all the special features of
the town London is only a huge shop with an hotel on the upper storeys To be
sure if you make it your artistic subject thats a different thing But
neither you nor I would do that by deliberate choice«
»I think not«
»Its a huge misfortune this willothewisp attraction exercised by
London on young men of brains They come here to be degraded or to perish when
their true sphere is a life of peaceful remoteness The type of man capable of
success in London is more or less callous and cynical If I had the training of
boys I would teach them to think of London as the last place where life can be
lived worthily«
»And the place where you are most likely to die in squalid wretchedness«
»The one happy result of my experiences« said Reardon »is that they have
cured me of ambition What a miserable fellow I should be if I were still
possessed with the desire to make a name I cant even recall very clearly that
state of mind My strongest desire now is for peaceful obscurity I am tired
out I want to rest for the remainder of my life«
»You wont have much rest at Croydon«
»Oh it isnt impossible My time will be wholly occupied in a round of all
but mechanical duties and I think that will be the best medicine for my mind I
shall read very little and that only in the classics I dont say that I shall
always be content in such a position in a few years perhaps something
pleasanter will offer But in the meantime it will do very well Then there is
our expedition to Greece to look forward to I am quite in earnest about that
The year after next if we are both alive assuredly we go«
»The year after next« Biffen smiled dubiously
»I have demonstrated to you mathematically that it is possible«
»You have but so are a great many other things that one does not dare to
hope for«
Someone knocked at the door opened it and said
»Heres a telegram for you Mr Reardon«
The friends looked at each other as if some fear had entered the minds of
both Reardon opened the despatch It was from his wife and ran thus
»Willie is ill of diphtheria Please come to us at once I am staying with
Mrs Carter at her mothers at Brighton«
The full address was given
»You hadnt heard of her going there« said Biffen when he had read the
lines
»No I havent seen Carter for several days or perhaps he would have told
me Brighton at this time of year But I believe theres a fashionable season
about now isnt there I suppose that would account for it«
He spoke in a slighting tone but showed increasing agitation
»Of course you will go«
»I must Though Im in no condition for making a journey«
His friend examined him anxiously
»Are you feverish at all this evening«
Reardon held out a hand that the other might feel his pulse The beat was
rapid to begin with and had been heightened since the arrival of the telegram
»But go I must The poor little fellow has no great place in my heart but
when Amy sends for me I must go Perhaps things are at the worst«
»When is there a train Have you a timetable«
Biffen was despatched to the nearest shop to purchase one and in the
meanwhile Reardon packed a few necessaries in a small travellingbag ancient
and worn but the object of his affection because it had accompanied him on his
wanderings in the South When Harold returned his appearance excited Reardons
astonishment he was white from head to foot
»Snow«
»It must have been falling heavily for an hour or more«
»Cant be helped I must go«
The nearest station for departure was London Bridge and the next train left
at 720 By Reardons watch it was now about five minutes to seven
»I dont know whether its possible« he said in confused hurry »but I
must try There isnt another train till ten past nine Come with me to the
station Biffen«
Both were ready They rushed from the house and sped through the soft
steady fall of snowflakes into Upper Street Here they were several minutes
before they found a disengaged cab Questioning the driver they learnt what
they would have known very well already but for their excitement impossible to
get to London Bridge Station in a quarter of an hour
»Better to go on all the same« was Reardons opinion »If the snow gets
deep I shall perhaps not be able to have a cab at all But you had better not
come I forgot that you are as much out of sorts as I am«
»How can you wait a couple of hours alone In with you«
»Diphtheria is pretty sure to be fatal to a child of that age isnt it«
Reardon asked when they were speeding along City Road
»Im afraid theres much danger«
»Why did she send«
»What an absurd question You seem to have got into a thoroughly morbid
state of mind about her Do be human and put away your obstinate folly«
»In my position you would have acted precisely as I have done I have had no
choice«
»I might but we have both of us too little practicality The art of living
is the art of compromise We have no right to foster sensibilities and conduct
ourselves as if the world allowed of ideal relations it leads to misery for
others as well as ourselves Genial coarseness is what it behoves men like you
and me to cultivate Your reply to your wifes last letter was preposterous You
ought to have gone to her of your own accord as soon as ever you heard she was
rich she would have thanked you for such commonsense disregard of delicacies
Let there be an end of this nonsense I implore you«
Reardon stared through the glass at the snow that fell thicker and thicker
»What are we you and I« pursued the other »We have no belief in
immortality we are convinced that this life is all we know that human
happiness is the origin and end of all moral considerations What right have we
to make ourselves and others miserable for the sake of an obstinate idealism It
is our duty to make the best of circumstances Why will you go cutting your loaf
with a razor when you have a serviceable breadknife«
Still Reardon did not speak The cab rolled on almost silently
»You love your wife and this summons she sends is proof that her thought
turns to you as soon as she is in distress«
»Perhaps she only thought it her duty to let the childs father know «
»Perhaps perhaps perhaps« cried Biffen contemptuously »There goes the
razor again Take the plain human construction of what happens Ask yourself
what the vulgar man would do and do likewise thats the only safe rule for
you«
They were both hoarse with too much talking and for the last half of the
drive neither spoke
At the railwaystation they ate and drank together but with poor pretence
of appetite As long as possible they kept within the warmed rooms Reardon was
pale and had anxious restless eyes he could not remain seated though when he
had walked about for a few minutes the trembling of his limbs obliged him to
sink down It was an unutterable relief to both when the moment of the trains
starting approached
They clasped hands warmly and exchanged a few last requests and promises
»Forgive my plain speech old fellow« said Biffen »Go and be happy«
Then he stood alone on the platform watching the red light on the last
carriage as the train whirled away into darkness and storm
Chapter 32
Reardon Becomes Practical
Reardon had never been to Brighton and of his own accord never would have gone
he was prejudiced against the place because its name has become suggestive of
fashionable imbecility and the snobbishness which tries to model itself thereon
he knew that the town was a mere portion of London transferred to the seashore
and as he loved the strand and the breakers for their own sake to think of them
in such connection could be nothing but a trial of his temper Something of this
species of irritation affected him in the first part of his journey and
disturbed the mood of kindliness with which he was approaching Amy but towards
the end he forgot this in a growing desire to be beside his wife in her trouble
His impatience made the hour and a half seem interminable
The fever which was upon him had increased He coughed frequently his
breathing was difficult though constantly moving he felt as if in the absence
of excitement his one wish would have been to lie down and abandon himself to
lethargy Two men who sat with him in the thirdclass carriage had spread a rug
over their knees and amused themselves with playing cards for trifling sums of
money the sight of their foolish faces the sound of their laughs the talk
they interchanged exasperated him to the last point of endurance but for all
that he could not draw his attention from them He seemed condemned by some
spiritual tormentor to take an interest in their endless games and to observe
their visages until he knew every line with a hateful intimacy One of the men
had a moustache of unusual form the ends curved upward with peculiar
suddenness and Reardon was constrained to speculate as to the mode of training
by which this singularity had been produced He could have shed tears of nervous
distraction in his inability to turn his thoughts upon other things
On alighting at his journeys end he was seized with a fit of shivering an
intense and sudden chill which made his teeth chatter In an endeavour to
overcome this he began to run towards the row of cabs but his legs refused such
exercise and coughing compelled him to pause for breath Still shaking he
threw himself into a vehicle and was driven to the address Amy had mentioned
The snow on the ground lay thick but no more was falling
Heedless of the direction which the cab took he suffered his physical and
mental unrest for another quarter of an hour then a stoppage told him that the
house was reached On his way he had heard a clock strike eleven
The door opened almost as soon as he had rung the bell He mentioned his
name and the maidservant conducted him to a drawingroom on the groundfloor
The house was quite a small one but seemed to be well furnished One lamp
burned on the table and the fire had sunk to a red glow Saying that she would
inform Mrs Reardon at once the servant left him alone
He placed his bag on the floor took off his muffler threw back his
overcoat and sat waiting The overcoat was new but the garments beneath it
were his poorest those he wore when sitting in his garret for he had neither
had time to change them nor thought of doing so
He heard no approaching footstep but Amy came into the room in a way which
showed that she had hastened downstairs She looked at him then drew near with
both hands extended and laid them on his shoulders and kissed him Reardon
shook so violently that it was all he could do to remain standing he seized one
of her hands and pressed it against his lips
»How hot your breath is« she said »And how you tremble Are you ill«
»A bad cold thats all« he answered thickly and coughed »How is Willie«
»In great danger The doctor is coming again tonight we thought that was
his ring«
»You didnt expect me tonight«
»I couldnt feel sure whether you would come«
»Why did you send for me Amy Because Willie was in danger and you felt I
ought to know about it«
»Yes and because I «
She burst into tears The display of emotion came very suddenly her words
had been spoken in a firm voice and only the pained knitting of her brows had
told what she was suffering
»If Willie dies what shall I do Oh what shall I do« broke forth between
her sobs
Reardon took her in his arms and laid his hand upon her head in the old
loving way
»Do you wish me to go up and see him Amy«
»Of course But first let me tell you why we are here Edith Mrs Carter
was coming to spend a week with her mother and she pressed me to join her I
didnt really wish to I was unhappy and felt how impossible it was to go on
always living away from you Oh that I had never come Then Willie would have
been as well as ever«
»Tell me when and how it began«
She explained briefly then went on to tell of other circumstances
»I have a nurse with me in the room Its my own bedroom and this house is
so small it will be impossible to give you a bed here Edwin But theres an
hotel only a few yards away«
»Yes yes dont trouble about that«
»But you look so ill you are shaking so Is it a cold you have had long«
»Oh my old habit you remember One cold after another all through the
accursed winter What does that matter when you speak kindly to me once more I
had rather die now at your feet and see the old gentleness when you look at me
than live on estranged from you No dont kiss me I believe these vile
sorethroats are contagious«
»But your lips are so hot and parched And to think of your coming this
journey on such a night«
»Good old Biffen came to the station with me He was angry because I had
kept away from you so long Have you given me your heart again Amy«
»Oh it has all been a wretched mistake But we were so poor Now all that
is over if only Willie can be saved to me I am so anxious for the doctors
coming the poor little child can hardly draw a breath How cruel it is that
such suffering should come upon a little creature who has never done or thought
ill«
»You are not the first dearest who has revolted against natures cruelty«
»Let us go up at once Edwin Leave your coat and things here Mrs Winter
Ediths mother is a very old lady she has gone to bed And I dare say you
wouldnt care to see Mrs Carter tonight«
»No no only you and Willie«
»When the doctor comes hadnt you better ask his advice for yourself«
»We shall see Dont trouble about me«
They went softly up to the first floor and entered a bedroom Fortunately
the light here was very dim or the nurse who sat by the childs bed must have
wondered at the eccentricity with which her patients father attired himself
Bending over the little sufferer Reardon felt for the first time since Willies
birth a strong fatherly emotion tears rushed to his eyes and he almost crushed
Amys hand as he held it during the spasm of his intense feeling
He sat here for a long time without speaking The warmth of the chamber had
the reverse of an assuaging effect upon his difficult breathing and his frequent
short cough it seemed to oppress and confuse his brain He began to feel a
pain in his right side and could not sit upright on the chair
Amy kept regarding him without his being aware of it
»Does your head ache« she whispered
He nodded but did not speak
»Oh why doesnt the doctor come I must send in a few minutes«
But as soon as she had spoken a bell rang in the lower part of the house
Amy had no doubt that it announced the promised visit She left the room and in
a minute or two returned with the medical man When the examination of the child
was over Reardon requested a few words with the doctor in the room downstairs
»Ill come back to you« he whispered to Amy
The two descended together and entered the drawingroom
»Is there any hope for the little fellow« Reardon asked
Yes there was hope a favourable turn might be expected
»Now I wish to trouble you for a moment on my own account I shouldnt be
surprised if you tell me that I have congestion of the lungs«
The doctor a suave man of fifty had been inspecting his interlocutor with
curiosity He now asked the necessary questions and made an examination
»Have you had any lung trouble before this« he inquired gravely
»Slight congestion of the right lung not many weeks ago«
»I must order you to bed immediately Why have you allowed your symptoms to
go so far without «
»I have just come down from London« interrupted Reardon
»Tut tut tut To bed this moment my dear sir There is inflammation and
«
»I cant have a bed in this house there is no spare room I must go to the
nearest hotel«
»Positively Then let me take you My carriage is at the door«
»One thing I beg you wont tell my wife that this is serious Wait till
she is out of her anxiety about the child«
»You will need the services of a nurse A most unfortunate thing that you
are obliged to go to the hotel«
»It cant be helped If a nurse is necessary I must engage one«
He had the strange sensation of knowing that whatever was needful could be
paid for it relieved his mind immensely To the rich illness has none of the
worst horrors only understood by the poor
»Dont speak a word more than you can help« said the doctor as he watched
Reardon withdraw
Amy stood on the lower stairs and came down as soon as her husband showed
himself
»The doctor is good enough to take me in his carriage« he whispered »It is
better that I should go to bed and get a good nights rest I wish I could have
sat with you Amy«
»Is it anything You look worse than when you came Edwin«
»A feverish cold Dont give it a thought dearest Go to Willie
Goodnight«
She threw her arms about him
»I shall come to see you if you are not able to be here by nine in the
morning« she said and added the name of the hotel to which he was to go
At this establishment the doctor was well known By midnight Reardon lay in
a comfortable room a huge cataplasm fixed upon him and other needful
arrangements made A waiter had undertaken to visit him at intervals through the
night and the man of medicine promised to return as soon as possible after
daybreak
What sound was that soft and continuous remote now clearer now confusedly
murmuring He must have slept but now he lay in sudden perfect consciousness
and that music fell upon his ears Ah of course it was the rising tide he was
near the divine sea
The nightlight enabled him to discern the principal objects in the room
and he let his eyes stray idly hither and thither But this moment of
peacefulness was brought to an end by a fit of coughing and he became troubled
profoundly troubled in mind Was his illness really dangerous He tried to draw
a deep breath but could not He found that he could only lie on his right side
with any ease And with the effort of turning he exhausted himself in the
course of an hour or two all his strength had left him Vague fears flitted
harassingly through his thoughts If he had inflammation of the lungs that was
a disease of which one might die and speedily Death No no no impossible at
such a time as this when Amy his own dear wife had come back to him and had
brought him that which would insure their happiness through all the years of a
long life
He was still quite a young man there must be great reserves of strength in
him And he had the will to live the prevailing will the passionate
allconquering desire of happiness
How he had alarmed himself Why now he was calmer again and again could
listen to the music of the breakers Not all the folly and baseness that paraded
along this strip of the shore could change the seas eternal melody In a day or
two he would walk on the sands with Amy somewhere quite out of sight of the
repulsive town But Willie was ill he had forgotten that Poor little boy In
future the child should be more to him though never what the mother was his
own love won again and for ever
Again an interval of unconsciousness brought to an end by that aching in his
side He breathed very quickly could not help doing so He had never felt so
ill as this never Was it not near morning
Then he dreamt He was at Patras was stepping into a boat to be rowed out
to the steamer which would bear him away from Greece A magnificent night
though at the end of December a sky of deep blue thick set with stars No
sound but the steady splash of the oars or perhaps a voice from one of the many
vessels that lay anchored in the harbour each showing its lanterngleams The
water was as deep a blue as the sky and sparkled with reflected radiance
And now he stood on deck in the light of early morning Southward lay the
Ionian Islands he looked for Ithaca and grieved that it had been passed in the
hours of darkness But the nearest point of the main shore was a rocky
promontory it reminded him that in these waters was fought the battle of
Actium
The glory vanished He lay once more a sick man in a hired chamber longing
for the dull English dawn
At eight oclock came the doctor He would allow only a word or two to be
uttered and his visit was brief Reardon was chiefly anxious to have news of
the child but for this he would have to wait
At ten Amy entered the bedroom Reardon could not raise himself but he
stretched out his hand and took hers and gazed eagerly at her She must have
been weeping he felt sure of that and there was an expression on her face such
as he had never seen there
»How is Willie«
»Better dear much better«
He still searched her face
»Ought you to leave him«
»Hush You mustnt speak«
Tears broke from her eyes and Reardon had the conviction that the child was
dead
»The truth Amy«
She threw herself on her knees by the bedside and pressed her wet cheek
against his hand
»I am come to nurse you dear husband« she said a moment after standing up
again and kissing his forehead »I have only you now«
His heart sank and for a moment so great a terror was upon him that he
closed his eyes and seemed to pass into utter darkness But those last words of
hers repeated themselves in his mind and at length they brought a deep solace
Poor little Willie had been the cause of the first coldness between him and Amy
her love for him had given place to a mothers love for the child Now it would
be as in the first days of their marriage they would again be all in all to
each other
»You oughtnt to have come feeling so ill« she said to him »You should
have let me know dear«
He smiled and kissed her hand
»And you kept the truth from me last night in kindness«
She checked herself knowing that agitation must be harmful to him She had
hoped to conceal the childs death but the effort was too much for her
overstrung nerves And indeed it was only possible for her to remain an hour or
two by this sick bed for she was exhausted by her night of watching and the
sudden agony with which it had concluded Shortly after Amys departure a
professional nurse came to attend upon what the doctor had privately
characterised as a very grave case
By the evening its gravity was in no respect diminished The sufferer had
ceased to cough and to make restless movements and had become lethargic later
he spoke deliriously or rather muttered for his words were seldom
intelligible Amy had returned to the room at four oclock and remained till
far into the night she was physically exhausted and could do little but sit in
a chair by the bedside and shed silent tears or gaze at vacancy in the woe of
her sudden desolation Telegrams had been exchanged with her mother who was to
arrive in Brighton tomorrow morning the childs funeral would probably be on
the third day from this
When she rose to go away for the night leaving the nurse in attendance
Reardon seemed to lie in a state of unconsciousness but just as she was turning
from the bed he opened his eyes and pronounced her name
»I am here Edwin« she answered bending over him
»Will you let Biffen know« he said in low but very clear tones
»That you are ill dear I will write at once or telegraph if you like
What is his address«
He had closed his eyes again and there came no reply Amy repeated her
question twice she was turning from him in hopelessness when his voice became
audible
»I cant remember his new address I know it but I cant remember«
She had to leave him thus
The next day his breathing was so harassed that he had to be raised against
pillows But throughout the hours of daylight his mind was clear and from time
to time he whispered words of tenderness in reply to Amys look He never
willingly relinquished her hand and repeatedly he pressed it against his cheek
or lips Vainly he still endeavoured to recall his friends address
»Couldnt Mr Carter discover it for you« Amy asked
»Perhaps You might try«
She would have suggested applying to Jasper Milvain but that name must not
be mentioned Whelpdale also would perchance know where Biffen lived but
Whelpdales address he had also forgotten
At night there were long periods of delirium not mere confused muttering
but continuous talk which the listeners could follow perfectly
For the most part the sufferers mind was occupied with revival of the
distress he had undergone whilst making those last efforts to write something
worthy of himself Amys heart was wrung as she heard him living through that
time of supreme misery misery which she might have done so much to alleviate
had not selfish fears and irritated pride caused her to draw further and further
from him Hers was the kind of penitence which is forced by sheer stress of
circumstances on a nature which resents any form of humiliation she could not
abandon herself to unreserved grief for what she had done or omitted and the
sense of this defect made a great part of her affliction When her husband lay
in mute lethargy she thought only of her dead child and mourned the loss but
his delirious utterances constrained her to break from that bittersweet
preoccupation to confuse her mourning with selfreproach and with fears
Though unconsciously he was addressing her »I can do no more Amy My
brain seems to be worn out I cant compose I cant even think Look I have
been sitting here for hours and I have done only that little bit half a dozen
lines Such poor stuff too I should burn it only I cant afford I must do my
regular quantity every day no matter what it is«
The nurse who was present when he talked in this way looked at Amy for an
explanation
»My husband is an author« Amy answered »Not long ago he was obliged to
write when he was ill and ought to have been resting«
»I always thought it must be hard work writing books« said the nurse with a
shake of her head
»You dont understand me« the voice pursued dreadful as a voice always is
when speaking independently of the will »You think I am only a poor creature
because I can do nothing better than this If only I had money enough to rest
for a year or two you should see Just because I have no money I must sink to
this degradation And I am losing you as well you dont love me«
He began to moan in anguish
But a happy change presently came over his dreaming He fell into animated
description of his experiences in Greece and Italy and after talking for a long
time he turned his head and said in a perfectly natural tone
»Amy do you know that Biffen and I are going to Greece«
She believed he spoke consciously and replied
»You must take me with you Edwin«
He paid no attention to this remark but went on with the same deceptive
accent
»He deserves a holiday after nearly getting burnt to death to save his
novel Imagine the old fellow plunging headlong into the flames to rescue his
manuscript Dont say that authors cant be heroic«
And he laughed gaily
Another morning broke It was possible said the doctors a second had been
summoned that a crisis which drew near might bring the favourable turn but
Amy formed her own opinion from the way in which the nurse expressed herself
She felt sure that the gravest fears were entertained Before noon Reardon awoke
from what had seemed natural sleep save for the rapid breathing and of a
sudden recollected the number of the house in Cleveland Street at which Biffen
was now living He uttered it without explanation Amy at once conjectured his
meaning and as soon as her surmise was confirmed she despatched a telegram to
her husbands friend
That evening as Amy was on the point of returning to the sickroom after
having dined at her friends house it was announced that a gentleman named
Biffen wished to see her She found him in the diningroom and even amid her
distress it was a satisfaction to her that he presented a far more conventional
appearance than in the old days All the garments he wore even his hat gloves
and boots were new a surprising state of things explained by the fact of his
commercial brother having sent him a present of ten pounds a practical
expression of sympathy with him in his recent calamity Biffen could not speak
he looked with alarm at Amys pallid face In a few words she told him of
Reardons condition
»I feared this« he replied under his breath »He was ill when I saw him off
at London Bridge But Willie is better I trust«
Amy tried to answer but tears filled her eyes and her head dropped Harold
was overcome with a sense of fatality grief and dread held him motionless
They conversed brokenly for a few minutes then left the house Biffen
carrying the handbag with which he had travelled hither When they reached the
hotel he waited apart until it was ascertained whether he could enter the
sickroom Amy rejoined him and said with a faint smile
»He is conscious and was very glad to hear that you had come But dont let
him try to speak much«
The change that had come over his friends countenance was to Harold of
course far more gravely impressive than to those who had watched at the
bedside In the drawn features large sunken eyes thin and discoloured lips it
seemed to him that he read too surely the presage of doom After holding the
shrunken hand for a moment he was convulsed with an agonising sob and had to
turn away
Amy saw that her husband wished to speak to her she bent over him
»Ask him to stay dear Give him a room in the hotel«
»I will«
Biffen sat down by the bedside and remained for half an hour His friend
inquired whether he had yet heard about the novel the answer was a shake of the
head When he rose Reardon signed to him to bend down and whispered
»It doesnt matter what happens she is mine again«
The next day was very cold but a blue sky gleamed over land and sea The
drives and promenades were thronged with people in exuberant health and spirits
Biffen regarded this spectacle with resentful scorn at another time it would
have moved him merely to mirth but not even the sound of the breakers when he
had wandered as far as possible from human contact could help him to think with
resignation of the injustice which triumphs so flagrantly in the destinies of
men Towards Amy he had no shadow of unkindness the sight of her in tears had
impressed him as profoundly in another way as that of his friends wasted
features She and Reardon were again one and his love for them both was
stronger than any emotion of tenderness he had ever known
In the afternoon he again sat by the bedside Every symptom of the
sufferers condition pointed to an approaching end a face that had grown
cadaverous livid lips breath drawn in hurrying gasps Harold despaired of
another look of recognition But as he sat with his forehead resting on his hand
Amy touched him Reardon had turned his face in their direction and with a
conscious gaze
»I shall never go with you to Greece« he said distinctly
There was silence again Biffen did not move his eyes from the deathly mask
in a minute or two he saw a smile soften its lineaments and Reardon again
spoke
»How often you and I have quoted it We are such stuff as dreams are made
on and our «
The remaining words were indistinguishable and as if the effort of
utterance had exhausted him his eyes closed and he sank into lethargy
When he came down from his bedroom on the following morning Biffen was informed
that his friend had died between two and three oclock At the same time he
received a note in which Amy requested him to come and see her late in the
afternoon He spent the day in a long walk along the eastward cliffs again the
sun shone brilliantly and the sea was flecked with foam upon its changing green
and azure It seemed to him that he had never before known solitude even
through all the years of his lonely and sad existence
At sunset he obeyed Amys summons He found her calm but with the signs of
long weeping
»At the last moment« she said »he was able to speak to me and you were
mentioned He wished you to have all that he has left in his room at Islington
When I come back to London will you take me there and let me see the room just
as when he lived in it Let the people in the house know what has happened and
that I am responsible for whatever will be owing«
Her resolve to behave composedly gave way as soon as Harolds broken voice
had replied Hysterical sobbing made further speech from her impossible and
Biffen after holding her hand reverently for a moment left her alone
Chapter 33
The Sunny Way
On an evening of early summer six months after the death of Edwin Reardon
Jasper of the facile pen was bending over his desk writing rapidly by the warm
western light which told that sunset was near Not far from him sat his younger
sister she was reading and the book in her hand bore the title »Mr Bailey
Grocer«
»How will this do« Jasper exclaimed suddenly throwing down his pen
And he read aloud a critical notice of the book with which Dora was
occupied a notice of the frankly eulogistic species beginning with »It is
seldom nowadays that the luckless reviewer of novels can draw the attention of
the public to a new work which is at once powerful and original« and ending
»The word is a bold one but we do not hesitate to pronounce this book a
masterpiece«
»Is that for The Current« asked Dora when he had finished
»No for The West End Fadge wont allow any one but himself to be lauded in
that style I may as well do the notice for The Current now as Ive got my hand
in«
He turned to his desk again and before daylight failed him had produced a
piece of more cautious writing very favourable on the whole but with reserves
and slight censures This also he read to Dora
»You wouldnt suspect they were written by the same man eh«
»No You have changed the style very skilfully«
»I doubt if theyll be much use Most people will fling the book down with
yawns before theyre half through the first volume If I knew a doctor who had
many cases of insomnia in hand I would recommend Mr Bailey to him as a
specific«
»Oh but it is really clever Jasper«
»Not a doubt of it I half believe what I have written And if only we could
get it mentioned in a leader or two and so on old Biffens fame would be
established with the better sort of readers But he wont sell three hundred
copies I wonder whether Robertson would let me do a notice for his paper«
»Biffen ought to be grateful to you if he knew« said Dora laughing
»Yet now there are people who would cry out that this kind of thing is
disgraceful Its nothing of the kind Speaking seriously we know that a really
good book will more likely than not receive fair treatment from two or three
reviewers yes but also more likely than not it will be swamped in the flood of
literature that pours forth week after week and wont have attention fixed long
enough upon it to establish its repute The struggle for existence among books
is nowadays as severe as among men If a writer has friends connected with the
press it is the plain duty of those friends to do their utmost to help him
What matter if they exaggerate or even lie The simple sober truth has no
chance whatever of being listened to and its only by volume of shouting that
the ear of the public is held What use is it to Biffen if his work struggled to
slow recognition ten years hence Besides as I say the growing flood of
literature swamps everything but works of primary genius If a clever and
conscientious book does not spring to success at once theres precious small
chance that it will survive Suppose it were possible for me to write a round
dozen reviews of this book in as many different papers I would do it with
satisfaction Depend upon it this kind of thing will be done on that scale
before long And its quite natural A mans friends must be helped by whatever
means quocunque modo as Biffen himself would say«
»I dare say he doesnt even think of you as a friend now«
»Very likely not Its ages since I saw him But theres much magnanimity in
my character as I have often told you It delights me to be generous whenever
I can afford it«
Dusk was gathering about them As they sat talking there came a tap at the
door and the summons to enter was obeyed by Mr Whelpdale
»I was passing« he said in his respectful voice »and couldnt resist the
temptation«
Jasper struck a match and lit the lamp In this clearer light Whelpdale was
exhibited as a young man of greatly improved exterior he wore a creamcoloured
waistcoat a necktie of subtle hue and delicate gloves prosperity breathed
from his whole person It was in fact only a moderate prosperity to which he
had as yet attained but the future beckoned to him flatteringly Early in this
year his enterprise as literary adviser had brought him in contact with a man
of some pecuniary resources who proposed to establish an agency for the
convenience of authors who were not skilled in disposing of their productions to
the best advantage Under the name of Fleet amp Co this business was shortly
set on foot and Whelpdales services were retained on satisfactory terms The
birth of the syndicate system had given new scope to literary agencies and Mr
Fleet was a man of keen eye for commercial opportunities
»Well have you read Biffens book« asked Jasper
»Wonderful isnt it A work of genius I am convinced Ha you have it
there Miss Dora But Im afraid it is hardly for you«
»And why not Mr Whelpdale«
»You should only read of beautiful things of happy lives This book must
depress you«
»But why will you imagine me such a feebleminded person« asked Dora »You
have so often spoken like this I have really no ambition to be a doll of such
superfine wax«
The habitual flatterer looked deeply concerned
»Pray forgive me« he murmured humbly leaning forward towards the girl with
eyes which deprecated her displeasure »I am very far indeed from attributing
weakness to you It was only the natural unreflecting impulse one finds it so
difficult to associate you even as merely a reader with such squalid scenes
The ignobly decent as poor Biffen calls it is so very far from that sphere in
which you are naturally at home«
There was some slight affectation in his language but the tone attested
sincere feeling Jasper was watching him with half an eye and glancing
occasionally at Dora
»No doubt« said the latter »its my story in The English Girl that
inclines you to think me a goodygoody sort of young woman«
»So far from that Miss Dora I was only waiting for an opportunity to tell
you how exceedingly delighted I have been with the last two weeks instalments
In all seriousness I consider that story of yours the best thing of the kind
that ever came under my notice You seem to me to have discovered a new genre
such writing as this has surely never been offered to girls and all the readers
of the paper must be immensely grateful to you I run eagerly to buy the paper
each week I assure you I do The stationer thinks I purchase it for a sister I
suppose But each section of the story seems to be better than the last Mark
the prophecy which I now make when this tale is published in a volume its
success will be great You will be recognised Miss Dora as the new writer for
modern English girls«
The subject of this panegyric coloured a little and laughed Unmistakably
she was pleased
»Look here Whelpdale« said Jasper »I cant have this Doras conceit
please to remember is to begin with only a little less than my own and you
will make her unendurable Her tale is well enough in its way but then its way
is a very humble one«
»I deny it« cried the other excitedly »How can it be called a humble line
of work to provide reading which is at once intellectual and moving and
exquisitely pure for the most important part of the population the educated
and refined young people who are just passing from girlhood to womanhood«
»The most important fiddlestick«
»You are grossly irreverent my dear Milvain I cannot appeal to your
sister for shes too modest to rate her own sex at its true value but the vast
majority of thoughtful men would support me You yourself do though you affect
this profane way of speaking And we know« he looked at Dora »that he wouldnt
talk like this if Miss Yule were present«
Jasper changed the topic of conversation and presently Whelpdale was able
to talk with more calmness The young man since his association with Fleet
amp Co had become fertile in suggestions of literary enterprise and at
present he was occupied with a project of special hopefulness
»I want to find a capitalist« he said »who will get possession of that
paper Chat and transform it according to an idea I have in my head The thing
is doing very indifferently but I am convinced it might be made splendid
property with a few changes in the way of conducting it«
»The paper is rubbish« remarked Jasper »and the kind of rubbish oddly
enough which doesnt attract people«
»Precisely but the rubbish is capable of being made a very valuable
article if it were only handled properly I have talked to the people about it
again and again but I cant get them to believe what I say Now just listen to
my notion In the first place I should slightly alter the name only slightly
but that little alteration would in itself have an enormous effect Instead of
Chat I should call it ChitChat«
Jasper exploded with mirth
»Thats brilliant« he cried »A stroke of genius«
»Are you serious Or are you making fun of me I believe it is a stroke of
genius Chat doesnt attract any one but ChitChat would sell like hot cakes
as they say in America I know I am right laugh as you will«
»On the same principle« cried Jasper »if The Tatler were changed to
TittleTattle its circulation would be trebled«
Whelpdale smote his knee in delight
»An admirable idea Many a true word uttered in joke and this is an
instance TittleTattle a magnificent title the very thing to catch the
multitude«
Dora was joining in the merriment and for a minute or two nothing but
bursts of laughter could be heard
»Now do let me go on« implored the man of projects when the noise
subsided »Thats only one change though a most important one What I next
propose is this I know you will laugh again but I will demonstrate to you
that I am right No article in the paper is to measure more than two inches in
length and every inch must be broken into at least two paragraphs«
»Superb«
»But you are joking Mr Whelpdale« exclaimed Dora
»No I am perfectly serious Let me explain my principle I would have the
paper address itself to the quartereducated that is to say the great new
generation that is being turned out by the Board schools the young men and
women who can just read but are incapable of sustained attention People of
this kind want something to occupy them in trains and on buses and trams As a
rule they care for no newspapers except the Sunday ones what they want is the
lightest and frothiest of chitchatty information bits of stories bits of
description bits of scandal bits of jokes bits of statistics bits of
foolery Am I not right Everything must be very short two inches at the
utmost their attention cant sustain itself beyond two inches Even chat is too
solid for them they want chitchat«
Jasper had begun to listen seriously
»Theres something in this Whelpdale« he remarked
»Ha I have caught you« cried the other delightedly »Of course theres
something in it«
»But « began Dora and checked herself
»You were going to say « Whelpdale bent towards her with deference
»Surely these poor silly people oughtnt to be encouraged in their
weakness«
Whelpdales countenance fell He looked ashamed of himself But Jasper came
speedily to the rescue
»Thats twaddle Dora Fools will be fools to the worlds end Answer a fool
according to his folly supply a simpleton with the reading he craves if it
will put money in your pocket You have discouraged poor Whelpdale in one of the
most notable projects of modern times«
»I shall think no more of it« said Whelpdale gravely »You are right Miss
Dora«
Again Jasper burst into merriment His sister reddened and looked
uncomfortable She began to speak timidly
»You said this was for reading in trains and buses«
Whelpdale caught at hope
»Yes And really you know it may be better at such times to read chitchat
than to be altogether vacant or to talk unprofitably I am not sure I bow to
your opinion unreservedly«
»So long as they only read the paper at such times« said Dora still
hesitating »One knows by experience that one really cant fix ones attention
in travelling even an article in a newspaper is often too long«
»Exactly And if you find it so what must be the case with the mass of
untaught people the quartereducated It might encourage in more of them a
taste for reading dont you think«
»It might« assented Dora musingly »And in that case you would be doing
good«
»Distinct good«
They smiled joyfully at each other Then Whelpdale turned to Jasper
»You are convinced that there is something in this«
»Seriously I think there is It would all depend on the skill of the
fellows who put the thing together every week There ought always to be one
strongly sensational item we wont call it article For instance you might
display on a placard What the Queen eats or How Gladstones collars are made
things of that kind«
»To be sure to be sure And then you know« added Whelpdale glancing
anxiously at Dora »when people had been attracted by these devices they would
find a few things that were really profitable We would give nicely written
little accounts of exemplary careers of heroic deeds and so on Of course
nothing whatever that could be really demoralising cela va sans dire Well
what I was going to say was this would you come with me to the office of Chat
and have a talk with my friend Lake the subeditor I know your time is very
valuable but then youre often running into the WillotheWisp and Chat is
just upstairs you know«
»What use should I be«
»Oh all the use in the world Lake would pay most respectful attention to
your opinion though he thinks so little of mine You are a man of note I am
nobody I feel convinced that you could persuade the Chat people to adopt my
idea and they might be willing to give me a contingent share of contingent
profits if I had really shown them the way to a good thing«
Jasper promised to think the matter over Whilst their talk still ran on
this subject a packet that had come by post was brought into the room Opening
it Milvain exclaimed
»Ha this is lucky Theres something here that may interest you
Whelpdale«
»Proofs«
»Yes A paper I have written for The Wayside« He looked at Dora who
smiled »How do you like the title The Novels of Edwin Reardon«
»You dont say so« cried the other »What a good fellow you are Milvain
Now thats really a kind thing to have done By Jove I must shake hands with
you I must indeed Poor Reardon Poor old fellow«
His eyes gleamed with moisture Dora observing this looked at him so
gently and sweetly that it was perhaps well he did not meet her eyes the
experience would have been altogether too much for him
»It has been written for three months« said Jasper »but we have held it
over for a practical reason When I was engaged upon it I went to see Mortimer
and asked him if there was any chance of a new edition of Reardons books He
had no idea the poor fellow was dead and the news seemed really to affect him
He promised to consider whether it would be worth while trying a new issue and
before long I heard from him that he would bring out the two best books with a
decent cover and so on provided I could get my article on Reardon into one of
the monthlies This was soon settled The editor of The Wayside answered at
once when I wrote to him that he should be very glad to print what I proposed
as he had a real respect for Reardon Next month the books will be out Neutral
Ground and Hubert Reed Mortimer said he was sure these were the only ones that
would pay for themselves But we shall see He may alter his opinion when my
article has been read«
»Read it to us now Jasper will you« asked Dora
The request was supported by Whelpdale and Jasper needed no pressing He
seated himself so that the lamplight fell upon the pages and read the article
through It was an excellent piece of writing see The Wayside June 1884 and
in places touched with true emotion Any intelligent reader would divine that
the author had been personally acquainted with the man of whom he wrote though
the fact was nowhere stated The praise was not exaggerated yet all the best
points of Reardons work were admirably brought out One who knew Jasper might
reasonably have doubted before reading this whether he was capable of so
worthily appreciating the nobler man
»I never understood Reardon so well before« declared Whelpdale at the
close »This is a good thing well done Its something to be proud of Miss
Dora«
»Yes I feel that it is« she replied
»Mrs Reardon ought to be very grateful to you Milvain Bytheby do you
ever see her«
»I have met her only once since his death by chance«
»Of course she will marry again I wonder wholl be the fortunate man«
»Fortunate do you think« asked Dora quietly without looking at him
»Oh I spoke rather cynically Im afraid« Whelpdale hastened to reply »I
was thinking of her money Indeed I knew Mrs Reardon only very slightly«
»I dont think you need regret it« Dora remarked
»Oh well come come« put in her brother »We know very well that there was
little enough blame on her side«
»There was great blame« Dora exclaimed »She behaved shamefully I wouldnt
speak to her I wouldnt sit down in her company«
»Bosh What do you know about it Wait till you are married to a man like
Reardon and reduced to utter penury«
»Whoever my husband was I would stand by him if I starved to death«
»If he illused you«
»I am not talking of such cases Mrs Reardon had never anything of the kind
to fear It was impossible for a man such as her husband to behave harshly Her
conduct was cowardly faithless unwomanly«
»Trust one woman for thinking the worst of another« observed Jasper with
something like a sneer
Dora gave him a look of strong disapproval one might have suspected that
brother and sister had before this fallen into disagreement on the delicate
topic Whelpdale felt obliged to interpose and had of course no choice but to
support the girl
»I can only say« he remarked with a smile »that Miss Dora takes a very
noble point of view One feels that a wife ought to be staunch But its so very
unsafe to discuss matters in which one cannot know all the facts«
»We know quite enough of the facts« said Dora with delightful pertinacity
»Indeed perhaps we do« assented her slave Then turning to her brother
»Well once more I congratulate you I shall talk of your article incessantly
as soon as it appears And I shall pester every one of my acquaintances to buy
Reardons books though its no use to him poor fellow Still he would have
died more contentedly if he could have foreseen this Bytheby Biffen will be
profoundly grateful to you Im sure«
»Im doing what I can for him too Run your eye over these slips«
Whelpdale exhausted himself in terms of satisfaction
»You deserve to get on my dear fellow In a few years you will be the
Aristarchus of our literary world«
When the visitor rose to depart Jasper said he would walk a short distance
with him As soon as they had left the house the future Aristarchus made a
confidential communication
»It may interest you to know that my sister Maud is shortly to be married«
»Indeed May I ask to whom«
»A man you dont know His name is Dolomore a fellow in society«
»Rich then I hope«
»Tolerably welltodo I dare say he has three or four thousand a year«
»Gracious heavens Why thats magnificent«
But Whelpdale did not look quite so much satisfaction as his words
expressed
»Is it to be soon« he inquired
»At the end of the season Make no difference to Dora and me of course«
»Oh Really No difference at all You will let me come and see you both
just in the old way Milvain«
»Why the deuce shouldnt you«
»To be sure to be sure By Jove I really dont know how I should get on if
I couldnt look in of an evening now and then I have got so much into the habit
of it And Im a lonely beggar you know I dont go into society and really
«
He broke off and Jasper began to speak of other things
When Milvain reentered the house Dora had gone to her own sittingroom It
was not quite ten oclock Taking one set of the proofs of his »Reardon«
article he put it into a large envelope then he wrote a short letter which
began »Dear Mrs Reardon« and ended »Very sincerely yours« the communication
itself being as follows
»I venture to send you the proofs of a paper which is to appear in next
months Wayside in the hope that it may seem to you not badly done and that
the reading of it may give you pleasure If anything occurs to you which you
would like me to add or if you desire any omission will you do me the kindness
to let me know of it as soon as possible and your suggestions shall at once be
adopted I am informed that the new edition of On Neutral Ground and Hubert Reed
will be ready next month Need I say how glad I am that my friends work is not
to be forgotten«
This note he also put into the envelope which he made ready for posting
Then he sat for a long time in profound thought
Shortly after eleven his door opened and Maud came in She had been dining
at Mrs Lanes Her attire was still simple but of quality which would have
signified recklessness but for the outlook whereof Jasper spoke to Whelpdale
The girl looked very beautiful There was a flush of health and happiness on her
cheek and when she spoke it was in a voice that rang quite differently from her
tones of a year ago the pride which was natural to her had now a firm support
she moved and uttered herself in queenly fashion
»Has anyone been« she asked
»Whelpdale«
»Oh I wanted to ask you Jasper do you think it wise to let him come quite
so often«
»Theres a difficulty you see I can hardly tell him to sheer off And hes
really a decent fellow«
»That may be But I think its rather unwise Things are changed In a few
months Dora will be a good deal at my house and will see all sorts of people«
»Yes but what if they are the kind of people she doesnt care anything
about You must remember old girl that her tastes are quite different from
yours I say nothing but perhaps its as well they should be«
»You say nothing but you add an insult« returned Maud with a smile of
superb disregard »We wont reopen the question«
»Oh dear no And bytheby I have a letter from Dolomore It came just
after you left«
»Well«
»He is quite willing to settle upon you a third of his income from the
collieries he tells me it will represent between seven and eight hundred a
year I think it rather little you know but I congratulate myself on having
got this out of him«
»Dont speak in that unpleasant way It was only your abruptness that made
any kind of difficulty«
»I have my own opinion on that point and I shall beg leave to keep it
Probably he will think me still more abrupt when I request as I am now going to
do an interview with his solicitors«
»Is that allowable« asked Maud anxiously »Can you do that with any
decency«
»If not then I must do it with indecency You will have the goodness to
remember that if I dont look after your interests no one else will Its
perhaps fortunate for you that I have a good deal of the man of business about
me Dolomore thought I was a dreamy literary fellow I dont say that he isnt
entirely honest but he shows something of a disposition to play the autocrat
and I by no means intend to let him If you had a father Dolomore would have to
submit his affairs to examination I stand to you in loco parentis and I shall
bate no jot of my rights«
»But you cant say that his behaviour hasnt been perfectly
straightforward«
»I dont wish to I think on the whole he has behaved more honourably than
was to be expected of a man of his kind But he must treat me with respect My
position in the world is greatly superior to his And by the gods I will be
treated respectfully It wouldnt be amiss Maud if you just gave him a hint to
that effect«
»All I have to say is Jasper dont do me an irreparable injury You might
without meaning it«
»No fear whatever of it I can behave as a gentleman and I only expect
Dolomore to do the same«
The conversation lasted for a long time and when he was again left alone
Jasper again fell into a mood of thoughtfulness
By a late post on the following day he received this letter
»Dear Mr Milvain I have received the proofs and have just read them
I hasten to thank you with all my heart No suggestion of mine could
possibly improve this article it seems to me perfect in taste in
style in matter No one but you could have written this for no one
else understood Edwin so well or had given such thought to his work If
he could but have known that such justice would be done to his memory
But he died believing that already he was utterly forgotten that his
books would never again be publicly spoken of This was a cruel fate I
have shed tears over what you have written but they were not only tears
of bitterness it cannot but be a consolation to me to think that when
the magazine appears so many people will talk of Edwin and his books I
am deeply grateful to Mr Mortimer for having undertaken to republish
those two novels if you have an opportunity will you do me the great
kindness to thank him on my behalf At the same time I must remember
that it was you who first spoke to him on this subject You say that it
gladdens you to think Edwin will not be forgotten and I am very sure
that the friendly office you have so admirably performed will in itself
reward you more than any poor expression of gratitude from me I write
hurriedly anxious to let you hear as soon as possible
Believe me dear Mr Milvain
Yours sincerely
AMY REARDON«
Chapter 34
A Check
Marian was at work as usual in the Readingroom She did her best during the
hours spent here to convert herself into the literary machine which it was her
hope would some day be invented for construction in a less sensitive material
than human tissue Her eyes seldom strayed beyond the limits of the desk and if
she had occasion to rise and go to the reference shelves she looked at no one
on the way Yet she herself was occasionally an object of interested regard
Several readers were acquainted with the chief facts of her position they knew
that her father was now incapable of work and was waiting till his diseased
eyes should be ready for the operator it was surmised moreover that a good
deal depended upon the girls literary exertions Mr Quarmby and his gossips
naturally took the darkest view of things they were convinced that Alfred Yule
could never recover his sight and they had a dolorous satisfaction in relating
the story of Marians legacy Of her relations with Jasper Milvain none of these
persons had heard Yule had never spoken of that matter to any one of his
friends
Jasper had to look in this morning for a hurried consultation of certain
encyclopædic volumes and it chanced that Marian was standing before the shelves
to which his business led him He saw her from a little distance and paused it
seemed as if he would turn back for a moment he wore a look of doubt and worry
But after all he proceeded At the sound of his »Goodmorning« Marian started
she was standing with an open book in hand and looked up with a gleam of joy
on her face
»I wanted to see you today« she said subduing her voice to the tone of
ordinary conversation »I should have come this evening«
»You wouldnt have found me at home From five to seven I shall be
frantically busy and then I have to rush off to dine with some people«
»I couldnt see you before five«
»Is it something important«
»Yes it is«
»I tell you what If you could meet me at Gloucester Gate at four then I
shall be glad of half an hour in the park But I mustnt talk now Im driven to
my wits end Gloucester Gate at four sharp I dont think itll rain«
He dragged out a tome of the Britannica Marian nodded and returned to her
seat
At the appointed hour she was waiting near the entrance of Regents Park which
Jasper had mentioned Not long ago there had fallen a light shower but the sky
was clear again At five minutes past four she still waited and had begun to
fear that the passing rain might have led Jasper to think she would not come
Another five minutes and from a hansom that rattled hither at full speed the
familiar figure alighted
»Do forgive me« he exclaimed »I couldnt possibly get here before Let us
go to the right«
They betook themselves to that treeshadowed strip of the park which skirts
the canal
»Im so afraid that you havent really time« said Marian who was chilled
and confused by this show of hurry She regretted having made the appointment
it would have been much better to postpone what she had to say until Jasper was
at leisure Yet nowadays the hours of leisure seemed to come so rarely
»If I get home at five itll be all right« he replied »What have you to
tell me Marian«
»We have heard about the money at last«
»Oh« He avoided looking at her »And whats the upshot«
»I shall have nearly fifteen hundred pounds«
»So much as that Well thats better than nothing isnt it«
»Very much better«
They walked on in silence Marian stole a glance at her companion
»I should have thought it a great deal« she said presently »before I had
begun to think of thousands«
»Fifteen hundred Well it means fifty pounds a year I suppose«
He chewed the end of his moustache
»Let us sit down on this bench Fifteen hundred hm And nothing more is
to be hoped for«
»Nothing I should have thought men would wish to pay their debts even
after they had been bankrupt but they tell us we cant expect anything more
from these people«
»You are thinking of Walter Scott and that kind of thing« Jasper laughed
»Oh thats quite unbusinesslike it would be setting a pernicious example
nowadays Well and whats to be done«
Marian had no answer for such a question The tone of it was a new stab to
her heart which had suffered so many during the past half year
»Now Ill ask you frankly« Jasper went on »and I know you will reply in
the same spirit would it be wise for us to marry on this money«
»On this money«
She looked into his face with painful earnestness
»You mean« he said »that it cant be spared for that purpose«
What she really meant was uncertain even to herself She had wished to hear
how Jasper would receive the news and thereby to direct her own course Had he
welcomed it as offering a possibility of their marriage that would have
gladdened her though it would then have been necessary to show him all the
difficulties by which she was beset for some time they had not spoken of her
fathers position and Jasper seemed willing to forget all about that
complication of their troubles But marriage did not occur to him and he was
evidently quite prepared to hear that she could no longer regard this money as
her own to be freely disposed of This was on one side a relief but on the
other it confirmed her fears She would rather have heard him plead with her to
neglect her parents for the sake of being his wife Love excuses everything and
his selfishness would have been easily lost sight of in the assurance that he
still desired her
»You say« she replied with bent head »that it would bring us fifty pounds
a year If another fifty were added to that my father and mother would be
supported in case the worst comes I might earn fifty pounds«
»You wish me to understand Marian that I mustnt expect that you will
bring me anything when we are married«
His tone was that of acquiescence not by any means of displeasure He spoke
as if desirous of saying for her something she found a difficulty in saying for
herself
»Jasper it is so hard for me So hard for me How could I help remembering
what you told me when I promised to be your wife«
»I spoke the truth rather brutally« he replied in a kind voice »Let all
that be unsaid forgotten We are in quite a different position now Be open
with me Marian surely you can trust my common sense and good feeling Put
aside all thought of things I have said and dont be restrained by any fear
lest you should seem to me unwomanly you cant be that What is your own wish
What do you really wish to do now that there is no uncertainty calling for
postponements«
Marian raised her eyes and was about to speak as she regarded him but with
the first accent her look fell
»I wish to be your wife«
He waited thinking and struggling with himself
»Yet you feel that it would be heartless to take and use this money for our
own purposes«
»What is to become of my parents Jasper«
»But then you admit that the fifteen hundred pounds wont support them You
talk of earning fifty pounds a year for them«
»Need I cease to write dear if we were married Wouldnt you let me help
them«
»But my dear girl you are taking for granted that we shall have enough for
ourselves«
»I didnt really mean at once« she explained hurriedly »In a short time
in a year You are getting on so well You will soon have a sufficient income I
am sure«
Jasper rose
»Let us walk as far as the next seat Dont speak I have something to think
about«
Moving on beside him she slipped her hand softly within his arm but Jasper
did not put the arm into position to support hers and her hand fell again
dropped suddenly They reached another bench and again became seated
»It comes to this Marian« he said with portentous gravity »Support you
I could I have little doubt of that Maud is provided for and Dora can make a
living for herself I could support you and leave you free to give your parents
whatever you can earn by your own work But «
He paused significantly It was his wish that Marian should supply the
consequence but she did not speak
»Very well« he exclaimed »Then when are we to be married«
The tone of resignation was too marked Jasper was not good as a comedian
he lacked subtlety
»We must wait« fell from Marians lips in the whisper of despair
»Wait But how long« he inquired dispassionately
»Do you wish to be freed from your engagement Jasper«
He was not strong enough to reply with a plain »Yes« and so have done with
his perplexities He feared the girls face and he feared his own subsequent
emotions
»Dont talk in that way Marian The question is simply this Are we to wait
a year or are we to wait five years In a years time I shall probably be able
to have a small house somewhere out in the suburbs If we are married then I
shall be happy enough with so good a wife but my career will take a different
shape I shall just throw overboard certain of my ambitions and work steadily
on at earning a livelihood If we wait five years I may perhaps have obtained
an editorship and in that case I should of course have all sorts of better
things to offer you«
»But dear why shouldnt you get an editorship all the same if you are
married«
»I have explained to you several times that success of that kind is not
compatible with a small house in the suburbs and all the ties of a narrow
income As a bachelor I can go about freely make acquaintances dine at
peoples houses perhaps entertain a useful friend now and then and so on It
is not merit that succeeds in my line it is merit plus opportunity Marrying
now I cut myself off from opportunity thats all«
She kept silence
»Decide my fate for me Marian« he pursued magnanimously »Let us make up
our minds and do what we decide to do Indeed it doesnt concern me so much as
yourself Are you content to lead a simple unambitious life Or should you
prefer your husband to be a man of some distinction«
»I know so well what your own wish is But to wait for years you will
cease to love me and will only think of me as a hindrance in your way«
»Well now when I said five years of course I took a round number Three
two might make all the difference to me«
»Let it be just as you wish I can bear anything rather than lose your
love«
»You feel then that it will decidedly be wise not to marry whilst we are
still so poor«
»Yes whatever you are convinced of is right«
He again rose and looked at his watch
»Jasper you dont think that I have behaved selfishly in wishing to let my
father have the money«
»I should have been greatly surprised if you hadnt wished it I certainly
cant imagine you saying Oh let them do as best they can That would have been
selfish with a vengeance«
»Now you are speaking kindly Must you go Jasper«
»I must indeed Two hours work I am bound to get before seven oclock«
»And I have been making it harder for you by disturbing your mind«
»No no its all right now I shall go at it with all the more energy now
we have come to a decision«
»Dora has asked me to go to Kew on Sunday Shall you be able to come dear«
»By Jove no I have three engagements on Sunday afternoon Ill try and
keep the Sunday after I will indeed«
»What are the engagements« she asked timidly
As they walked back towards Gloucester Gate he answered her question
showing how unpardonable it would be to neglect the people concerned Then they
parted Jasper going off at a smart pace homewards
Marian turned down Park Street and proceeded for some distance along Camden
Road The house in which she and her parents now lived was not quite so far away
as St Pauls Crescent they rented four rooms one of which had to serve both as
Alfred Yules sittingroom and for the gatherings of the family at meals Mrs
Yule generally sat in the kitchen and Marian used her bedroom as a study About
half the collection of books had been sold those that remained were still a
respectable library almost covering the walls of the room where their
disconsolate possessor passed his mournful days
He could read for a few hours a day but only large type and fear of
consequences kept him well within the limit of such indulgence laid down by his
advisers Though he inwardly spoke as if his case were hopeless Yule was very
far from having resigned himself to this conviction indeed the prospect of
spending his latter years in darkness and idleness was too dreadful to him to be
accepted so long as a glimmer of hope remained He saw no reason why the
customary operation should not restore him to his old pursuits and he would
have borne it ill if his wife or daughter had ever ceased to oppose the despair
which it pleased him to affect
On the whole he was noticeably patient At the time of their removal to
these lodgings seeing that Marian prepared herself to share the change as a
matter of course he let her do as she would without comment nor had he since
spoken to her on the subject which had proved so dangerous Confidence between
them there was none Yule addressed his daughter in a grave cold civil tone
and Marian replied gently but without tenderness For Mrs Yule the disaster to
the family was distinctly a gain she could not but mourn her husbands
affliction yet he no longer visited her with the fury or contemptuous
impatience of former days Doubtless the fact of needing so much tendance had
its softening influence on the man he could not turn brutally upon his wife
when every hour of the day afforded him some proof of her absolute devotion Of
course his openair exercise was still unhindered and in this season of the
returning sun he walked a great deal decidedly to the advantage of his general
health which again must have been a source of benefit to his temper Of
evenings Marian sometimes read to him He never requested this but he did not
reject the kindness
This afternoon Marian found her father examining a volume of prints which
had been lent him by Mr Quarmby The table was laid for dinner owing to
Marians frequent absence at the Museum no change had been made in the order of
meals and Yule sat by the window his book propped on a second chair A
whiteness in his eyes showed how the disease was progressing but his face had a
more wholesome colour than a year ago
»Mr Hinks and Mr Gorbutt inquired very kindly after you today« said the
girl as she seated herself
»Oh is Hinks out again«
»Yes but he looks very ill«
They conversed of such matters until Mrs Yule now her own servant
brought in the dinner After the meal Marian was in her bedroom for about an
hour then she went to her father who sat in idleness smoking
»What is your mother doing« he asked as she entered
»Some needlework«
»I had perhaps better say« he spoke rather stiffly and with averted face
»that I make no exclusive claim to the use of this room As I can no longer
pretend to study it would be idle to keep up the show of privacy that mustnt
be disturbed Perhaps you will mention to your mother that she is quite at
liberty to sit here whenever she chooses«
It was characteristic of him that he should wish to deliver this permission
by proxy But Marian understood how much was implied in such an announcement
»I will tell mother« she said »But at this moment I wished to speak to you
privately How would you advise me to invest my money«
Yule looked surprised and answered with cold dignity
»It is strange that you should put such a question to me I should have
supposed your interests were in the hands of of some competent person«
»This will be my private affair father I wish to get as high a rate of
interest as I safely can«
»I really must decline to advise or interfere in any way But as you have
introduced this subject I may as well put a question which is connected with
it Could you give me any idea as to how long you are likely to remain with us«
»At least a year« was the answer »and very likely much longer«
»Am I to understand then that your marriage is indefinitely postponed«
»Yes father«
»And will you tell me why«
»I can only say that it has seemed better to both of us«
Yule detected the sorrowful emotion she was endeavouring to suppress His
conception of Milvains character made it easy for him to form a just surmise as
to the reasons for this postponement he was gratified to think that Marian
might learn how rightly he had judged her wooer and an involuntary pity for the
girl did not prevent his hoping that the detestable alliance was doomed With
difficulty he refrained from smiling
»I will make no comment on that« he remarked with a certain emphasis »But
do you imply that this investment of which you speak is to be solely for your
own advantage«
»For mine and for yours and mothers«
There was a silence of a minute or two As yet it had not been necessary to
take any steps for raising money but a few months more would see the family
without resources save those provided by Marian who without discussion had
been simply setting aside what she received for her work
»You must be well aware« said Yule at length »that I cannot consent to
benefit by any such offer When it is necessary I shall borrow on the security
of «
»Why should you do that father« Marian interrupted »My money is yours If
you refuse it as a gift then why may not I lend to you as well as a stranger
Repay me when your eyes are restored For the present all our anxieties are at
an end We can live very well until you are able to write again«
For his sake she put it in this way Supposing him never able to earn anything
then indeed would come a time of hardship but she could not contemplate that
The worst would only befall them in case she was forsaken by Jasper and if that
happened all else would be of little account
»This has come upon me as a surprise« said Yule in his most reserved tone
»I can give no definite reply I must think of it«
»Should you like me to ask mother to bring her sewing here now« asked
Marian rising
»Yes you may do so«
In this way the awkwardness of the situation was overcome and when Marian
next had occasion to speak of money matters no serious objection was offered to
her proposal
Dora Milvain of course learnt what had come to pass to anticipate
criticism her brother imparted to her the decision at which Marian and he had
arrived She reflected with an air of discontent
»So you are quite satisfied« was her question at length »that Marian
should toil to support her parents as well as herself«
»Can I help it«
»I shall think very ill of you if you dont marry her in a year at latest«
»I tell you Marian has made a deliberate choice She understands me
perfectly and is quite satisfied with my projects You will have the kindness
Dora not to disturb her faith in me«
»I agree to that and in return I shall let you know when she begins to
suffer from hunger It wont be very long till then you may be sure How do you
suppose three people are going to live on a hundred a year And its very
doubtful indeed whether Marian can earn as much as fifty pounds Never mind I
shall let you know when she is beginning to starve and doubtless that will
amuse you«
At the end of July Maud was married Between Mr Dolomore and Jasper existed
no superfluous kindness each resenting the others selfsufficiency but
Jasper when once satisfied of his proposed brotherinlaws
straightforwardness was careful not to give offence to a man who might some day
serve him Provided this marriage resulted in moderate happiness to Maud it was
undoubtedly a magnificent stroke of luck Mrs Lane the lady who has so often
been casually mentioned took upon herself those offices in connection with the
ceremony which the brides mother is wont to perform at her house was held the
weddingbreakfast and such other absurdities of usage as recommend themselves
to Society Dora of course played the part of a bridesmaid and Jasper went
through his duties with the suave seriousness of a man who has convinced himself
that he cannot afford to despise anything that the world sanctions
About the same time occurred another event which was to have more importance
for this aspiring little family than could as yet be foreseen Whelpdales
noteworthy idea triumphed the weekly paper called Chat was thoroughly
transformed and appeared as ChitChat From the first number the success of
the enterprise was beyond doubt in a months time all England was ringing with
the fame of this noble new development of journalism the proprietor saw his way
to a solid fortune and other men who had money to embark began to scheme
imitative publications It was clear that the quartereducated would soon be
abundantly provided with literature to their taste
Whelpdales exultation was unbounded but in the fifth week of the life of
ChitChat something happened which threatened to overturn his sober reason
Jasper was walking along the Strand one afternoon when he saw his ingenious
friend approaching him in a manner scarcely to be accounted for unless
Whelpdales abstemiousness had for once given way before convivial invitation
The young mans hat was on the back of his head and his coat flew wildly as he
rushed forwards with perspiring face and glaring eyes He would have passed
without observing Jasper had not the latter called to him then he turned
round laughed insanely grasped his acquaintance by the wrists and drew him
aside into a court
»What do you think« he panted »What do you think has happened«
»Not what one would suppose I hope You seem to have gone mad«
»Ive got Lakes place on ChitChat« cried the other hoarsely »Two hundred
and fifty a year Lake and the editor quarrelled pummelled each other
neither know nor care what it was about My fortunes made«
»Youre a modest man« remarked Jasper smiling
»Certainly I am I have always admitted it But remember that theres my
connection with Fleet as well no need to give that up Presently I shall be
making a clear six hundred my dear sir A clear six hundred if a penny«
»Satisfactory so far«
»But you must remember that Im not a big gun like you Why my dear
Milvain a year ago I should have thought an income of two hundred a glorious
competence I dont aim at such things as are fit for you You wont be content
till you have thousands of course I know that But Im a humble fellow Yet no
by Jingo Im not In one way Im not I must confess it«
»In what instance are you arrogant«
»I cant tell you not yet this is neither time nor place I say when
will you dine with me I shall give a dinner to half a dozen of my acquaintances
somewhere or other Poor old Biffen must come When can you dine«
»Give me a weeks notice and Ill fit it in«
That dinner came duly off On the day that followed Jasper and Dora left
town for their holiday they went to the Channel Islands and spent more than
half of the three weeks they had allowed themselves in Sark Passing over from
Guernsey to that island they were amused to see a copy of ChitChat in the
hands of an obese and welldressed man
»Is he one of the quartereducated« asked Dora laughing
»Not in Whelpdales sense of the word But strictly speaking no doubt he
is The quartereducated constitute a very large class indeed how large the
huge success of that paper is demonstrating Ill write to Whelpdale and let him
know that his benefaction has extended even to Sark«
This letter was written and in a few days there came a reply
»Why the fellow has written to you as well« exclaimed Jasper taking up a
second letter both were on the table of their sittingroom when they came to
their lodgings for lunch »Thats his hand«
»It looks like it«
Dora hummed an air as she regarded the envelope then she took it away with
her to her room upstairs
»What had he to say« Jasper inquired when she came down again and seated
herself at the table
»Oh a friendly letter What does he say to you«
Dora had never looked so animated and fresh of colour since leaving London
her brother remarked this and was glad to think that the air of the Channel
should be doing her so much good He read Whelpdales letter aloud it was
facetious but oddly respectful
»The reverence that fellow has for me is astonishing« he observed with a
laugh »The queer thing is it increases the better he knows me«
Dora laughed for five minutes
»Oh what a splendid epigram« she exclaimed »It is indeed a queer thing
Jasper Did you mean that to be a good joke or was it better still by coming
out unintentionally«
»You are in remarkable spirits old girl Bytheby would you mind letting
me see that letter of yours«
He held out his hand
»I left it upstairs« Dora replied carelessly
»Rather presumptuous in him it seems to me«
»Oh he writes quite as respectfully to me as he does to you« she returned
with a peculiar smile
»But what business has he to write at all Its confounded impertinence now
I come to think of it I shall give him a hint to remember his position«
Dora could not be quite sure whether he spoke seriously or not As both of
them had begun to eat with an excellent appetite a few moments were allowed to
pass before the girl again spoke
»His position is as good as ours« she said at length
»As good as ours The sub of a paltry rag like ChitChat and assistant to
a literary agency«
»He makes considerably more money than we do«
»Money Whats money«
Dora was again mirthful
»Oh of course money is nothing We write for honour and glory Dont forget
to insist on that when you reprove Mr Whelpdale no doubt it will impress him«
Late in the evening of that day when the brother and sister had strolled by
moonlight up to the windmill which occupies the highest point of Sark and as
they stood looking upon the pale expanse of sea dotted with the gleam of
lighthouses near and far Dora broke the silence to say quietly
»I may as well tell you that Mr Whelpdale wants to know if I will marry
him«
»The deuce he does« cried Jasper with a start »If I didnt half suspect
something of that kind What astounding impudence«
»You seriously think so«
»Well dont you You hardly know him to begin with And then oh
confound it«
»Very well Ill tell him that his impudence astonishes me«
»You will«
»Certainly Of course in civil terms But dont let this make any difference
between you and him Just pretend to know nothing about it no harm is done«
»You are speaking in earnest«
»Quite He has written in a very proper way and theres no reason whatever
to disturb our friendliness with him I have a right to give directions in a
matter like this and youll please to obey them«
Before going to bed Dora wrote a letter to Mr Whelpdale not indeed
accepting his offer forthwith but conveying to him with much gracefulness an
unmistakable encouragement to persevere This was posted on the morrow and its
writer continued to benefit most remarkably by the sun and breezes and
rockscrambling of Sark
Soon after their return to London Dora had the satisfaction of paying the
first visit to her sister at the Dolomores house in Ovington Square Maud was
established in the midst of luxuries and talked with laughing scorn of the days
when she inhabited Grub Street her literary tastes were henceforth to serve as
merely a note of distinction an added grace which made evident her superiority
to the well attired and smoothtongued people among whom she was content to
shine On the one hand she had contact with the world of fashionable
literature on the other with that of fashionable ignorance Mrs Lanes house
was a meetingpoint of the two spheres
»I shant be there very often« remarked Jasper as Dora and he discussed
their sisters magnificence »Thats all very well in its way but I aim at
something higher«
»So do I« Dora replied
»Im very glad to hear that I confess it seemed to me that you were rather
too cordial with Whelpdale yesterday«
»One must behave civilly Mr Whelpdale quite understands me«
»You are sure of that He didnt seem quite so gloomy as he ought to have
been«
»The success of ChitChat keeps him in good spirits«
It was perhaps a week after this that Mrs Dolomore came quite unexpectedly
to the house by Regents Park as early as eleven oclock in the morning She
had a long talk in private with Dora Jasper was not at home when he returned
towards evening Dora came to his room with a countenance which disconcerted
him
»Is it true« she asked abruptly standing before him with her hands
strained together »that you have been representing yourself as no longer
engaged to Marian«
»Who has told you so«
»That doesnt matter I have heard it and I want to know from you that it
is false«
Jasper thrust his hands into his pockets and walked apart
»I can take no notice« he said with indifference »of anonymous gossip«
»Well then I will tell you how I have heard Maud came this morning and
told me that Mrs Betterton had been asking her about it Mrs Betterton had heard
from Mrs Lane«
»From Mrs Lane And from who did she hear pray«
»That I dont know Is it true or not«
»I have never told anyone that my engagement was at an end« replied Jasper
deliberately
The girl met his eyes
»Then I was right« she said »Of course I told Maud that it was impossible
to believe this for a moment But how has it come to be said«
»You might as well ask me how any lie gets into circulation among people of
that sort I have told you the truth and theres an end of it«
Dora lingered for a while but left the room without saying anything more
She sat up late mostly engaged in thinking though at times an open book
was in her hand It was nearly halfpast twelve when a very light rap at the
door caused her to start She called and Jasper came in
»Why are you still up« he asked avoiding her look as he moved forward and
took a leaning attitude behind an easychair
»Oh I dont know Do you want anything«
There was a pause then Jasper said in an unsteady voice
»I am not given to lying Dora and I feel confoundedly uncomfortable about
what I said to you early this evening I didnt lie in the ordinary sense its
true enough that I have never told anyone that my engagement was at an end But
I have acted as if it were and its better I should tell you«
His sister gazed at him with indignation
»You have acted as if you were free«
»Yes I have proposed to Miss Rupert How Mrs Lane and that lot have come to
know anything about this I dont understand I am not aware of any connecting
link between them and the Ruperts or the Barlows either Perhaps there are
none most likely the rumour has no foundation in their knowledge Still it is
better that I should have told you Miss Rupert has never heard that I was
engaged nor have her friends the Barlows at least I dont see how they could
have done She may have told Mrs Barlow of my proposal probably would and
this may somehow have got round to those other people But Maud didnt make any
mention of Miss Rupert did she«
Dora replied with a cold negative
»Well theres the state of things It isnt pleasant but thats what I
have done«
»Do you mean that Miss Rupert has accepted you«
»No I wrote to her She answered that she was going to Germany for a few
weeks and that I should have her reply whilst she was away I am waiting«
»But what name is to be given to behaviour such as this«
»Listen didnt you know perfectly well that this must be the end of it«
»Do you suppose I thought you utterly shameless and cruel beyond words«
»I suppose I am both It was a moment of desperate temptation though I had
dined at the Ruperts you remember and it seemed to me there was no
mistaking the girls manner«
»Dont call her a girl« broke in Dora scornfully »You say she is several
years older than yourself«
»Well at all events shes intellectual and very rich I yielded to the
temptation«
»And deserted Marian just when she has most need of help and consolation
Its frightful«
Jasper moved to another chair and sat down He was much perturbed
»Look here Dora I regret it I do indeed And whats more if that woman
refuses me as its more than likely she will I will go to Marian and ask her
to marry me at once I promise that«
His sister made a movement of contemptuous impatience
»And if the woman doesnt refuse you«
»Then I cant help it But theres one thing more I will say Whether I
marry Marian or Miss Rupert I sacrifice my strongest feelings in the one case
to a sense of duty in the other to worldly advantage I was an idiot to write
that letter for I knew at the time that there was a woman who is far more to me
than Miss Rupert and all her money a woman I might perhaps marry Dont ask
any questions I shall not answer them As I have said so much I wished you to
understand my position fully You know the promise I have made Dont say
anything to Marian if I am left free I shall marry her as soon as possible«
And so he left the room
For a fortnight and more he remained in uncertainty His life was very
uncomfortable for Dora would only speak to him when necessity compelled her
and there were two meetings with Marian at which he had to act his part as well
as he could At length came the expected letter Very nicely expressed very
friendly very complimentary but a refusal
He handed it to Dora across the breakfasttable saying with a pinched
smile
»Now you can look cheerful again I am doomed«
Chapter 35
Fever and Rest
Milvains skilful efforts notwithstanding »Mr Bailey Grocer« had no success
By two publishers the book had been declined the firm which brought it out
offered the author half profits and fifteen pounds on account greatly to Harold
Biffens satisfaction But reviewers in general were either angry or coldly
contemptuous »Let Mr Biffen bear in mind« said one of these sages »that a
novelists first duty is to tell a story« »Mr Biffen« wrote another »seems
not to understand that a work of art must before everything else afford
amusement« »A pretentious book of the genre ennuyant« was the brief comment of
a Society journal A weekly of high standing began its short notice in a rage
»Here is another of those intolerable productions for which we are indebted to
the spirit of grovelling realism This author let it be said is never
offensive but then one must go on to describe his work by a succession of
negatives it is never interesting never profitable never « and the rest The
eulogy in The West End had a few timid echoes That in The Current would have
secured more imitators but unfortunately it appeared when most of the reviewing
had already been done And as Jasper truly said only a concurrence of powerful
testimonials could have compelled any number of people to affect an interest in
this book »The first duty of a novelist is to tell a story« the perpetual
repetition of this phrase is a warning to all men who propose drawing from the
life Biffen only offered a slice of biography and it was found to lack
flavour
He wrote to Mrs Reardon »I cannot thank you enough for this very kind
letter about my book I value it more than I should the praises of all the
reviewers in existence You have understood my aim Few people will do that and
very few indeed could express it with such clear conciseness«
If Amy had but contented herself with a civil acknowledgment of the volumes
he sent her She thought it a kindness to write to him so appreciatively to
exaggerate her approval The poor fellow was so lonely Yes but his loneliness
only became intolerable when a beautiful woman had smiled upon him and so
forced him to dream perpetually of that supreme joy of life which to him was
forbidden
It was a fatal day that on which Amy put herself under his guidance to
visit Reardons poor room at Islington In the old times Harold had been wont
to regard his friends wife as the perfect woman seldom in his life had he
enjoyed female society and when he first met Amy it was years since he had
spoken with any woman above the rank of a lodginghouse keeper or a
needleplier Her beauty seemed to him of a very high order and her mental
endowments filled him with an exquisite delight not to be appreciated by men
who have never been in his position When the rupture came between Amy and her
husband Harold could not believe that she was in any way to blame held to
Reardon by strong friendship he yet accused him of injustice to Amy And what
he saw of her at Brighton confirmed him in this judgment When he accompanied
her to Manville Street he allowed her of course to remain alone in the room
where Reardon had lived but Amy presently summoned him and asked him
questions Every tear she shed watered a growth of passionate tenderness in the
solitary mans heart Parting from her at length he went to hide his face in
darkness and think of her think of her
A fatal day There was an end of all his peace all his capacity for labour
his patient endurance of penury Once when he was about threeandtwenty he
had been in love with a girl of gentle nature and fair intelligence on account
of his poverty he could not even hope that his love might be returned and he
went away to bear the misery as best he might Since then the life he had led
precluded the forming of such attachments it would never have been possible for
him to support a wife of however humble origin At intervals he felt the full
weight of his loneliness but there were happily long periods during which his
Greek studies and his efforts in realistic fiction made him indifferent to the
curse laid upon him But after that hour of intimate speech with Amy he never
again knew rest of mind or heart
Accepting what Reardon had bequeathed to him he removed the books and
furniture to a room in that part of the town which he had found most convenient
for his singular tutorial pursuits The winter did not pass without days of all
but starvation but in March he received his fifteen pounds for Mr Bailey and
this was a fortune putting him beyond the reach of hunger for full six months
Not long after that he yielded to a temptation that haunted him day and night
and went to call upon Amy who was still living with her mother at Westbourne
Park When he entered the drawingroom Amy was sitting there alone she rose
with an exclamation of frank pleasure
»I have often thought of you lately Mr Biffen How kind to come and see
me«
He could scarcely speak her beauty as she stood before him in the graceful
black dress was anguish to his excited nerves and her voice was so cruel in
its conventional warmth When he looked at her eyes he remembered how their
brightness had been dimmed with tears and the sorrow he had shared with her
seemed to make him more than an ordinary friend When he told her of his success
with the publishers she was delighted
»Oh when is it to come out I shall watch the advertisements so anxiously«
»Will you allow me to send you a copy Mrs Reardon«
»Can you really spare one«
Of the halfdozen he would receive he scarcely knew how to dispose of
three And Amy expressed her gratitude in the most charming way She had gained
much in point of manner during the past twelve months her ten thousand pounds
inspired her with the confidence necessary to a perfect demeanour That slight
hardness which was wont to be perceptible in her tone had altogether passed
away she seemed to be cultivating flexibility of voice
Mrs Yule came in and was all graciousness Then two callers presented
themselves Biffens pleasure was at an end as soon as he had to adapt himself
to polite dialogue he escaped as speedily as possible
He was not the kind of man that deceives himself as to his own aspect in the
eyes of others Be as kind as she might Amy could not set him strutting
Malvoliowise she viewed him as a poor devil who often had to pawn his coat a
man of parts who would never get on in the world a friend to be thought of
kindly because her dead husband had valued him Nothing more than that he
understood perfectly the limits of her feeling But this could not put restraint
upon the emotion with which he received any most trifling utterance of kindness
from her He did not think of what was but of what under changed
circumstances might be To encourage such fantasy was the idlest selftorment
but he had gone too far in this form of indulgence He became the slave of his
inflamed imagination
In that letter with which he replied to her praises of his book perchance
he had allowed himself to speak too much as he thought He wrote in reckless
delight and did not wait for the prudence of a later hour When it was past
recall he would gladly have softened many of the expressions the letter
contained »I value it more than the praises of all the reviewers in existence«
would Amy be offended at that »Yours in gratitude and reverence« he had
signed himself the kind of phrase that comes naturally to a passionate man
when he would fain say more than he dares To what purpose this halfrevelation
Unless indeed he wished to learn once and for ever by the gentlest of
repulses that his homage was only welcome so long as it kept well within
conventional terms
He passed a month of distracted idleness until there came a day when the
need to see Amy was so imperative that it mastered every consideration He
donned his best clothes and about four oclock presented himself at Mrs Yules
house By illluck there happened to be at least half a dozen callers in the
drawingroom the strappado would have been preferable in his eyes to such an
ordeal as this Moreover he was convinced that both Amy and her mother received
him with far less cordiality than on the last occasion He had expected it but
he bit his lips till the blood came What business had he among people of this
kind No doubt the visitors wondered at his comparative shabbiness and asked
themselves how he ventured to make a call without the regulation chimneypot
hat It was a wretched and foolish mistake
Ten minutes saw him in the street again vowing that he would never approach
Amy more Not that he found fault with her the blame was entirely his own
He lived on the third floor of a house in Goodge Street above a bakers
shop The bequest of Reardons furniture was a great advantage to him as he had
only to pay rent for a bare room the books too came as a godsend since the
destruction of his own He had now only one pupil and was not exerting himself
to find others his old energy had forsaken him
For the failure of his book he cared nothing It was no more than he
anticipated The work was done the best he was capable of and this satisfied
him
It was doubtful whether he loved Amy in the true sense of exclusive desire She
represented for him all that is lovely in womanhood to his starved soul and
senses she was woman the complement of his frustrate being Circumstance had
made her the means of exciting in him that natural force which had hitherto
either been dormant or had yielded to the resolute will
Companionless inert he suffered the tortures which are so ludicrous and
contemptible to the happily married Life was barren to him and would soon grow
hateful only in sleep could he cast off the unchanging thoughts and desires
which made all else meaningless And rightly meaningless he revolted against
the unnatural constraints forbidding him to complete his manhood By what
fatality was he alone of men withheld from the winning of a womans love
He could not bear to walk the streets where the faces of beautiful women
would encounter him When he must needs leave the house he went about in the
poor narrow ways where only spectacles of coarseness and want and toil would
be presented to him Yet even here he was too often reminded that the
povertystricken of the class to which poverty is natural were not condemned to
endure in solitude Only he who belonged to no class who was rejected alike by
his fellows in privation and by his equals in intellect must die without having
known the touch of a loving womans hand
The summer went by and he was unconscious of its warmth and light How his
days passed he could not have said
One evening in early autumn as he stood before the bookstall at the end of
Goodge Street a familiar voice accosted him It was Whelpdales A month or two
ago he had stubbornly refused an invitation to dine with Whelpdale and other
acquaintances you remember what the occasion was and since then the
prosperous young man had not crossed his path
»Ive something to tell you« said the assailer taking hold of his arm
»Im in a tremendous state of mind and want someone to share my delight You
can walk a short way I hope Not too busy with some new book«
Biffen gave no answer but went whither he was led
»You are writing a new book I suppose Dont be discouraged old fellow Mr
Bailey will have his day yet I know men who consider it an undoubted work of
genius Whats the next to deal with«
»I havent decided yet« replied Harold merely to avoid argument He spoke
so seldom that the sound of his own voice was strange to him
»Thinking over it I suppose in your usual solid way Dont be hurried But
I must tell you of this affair of mine You know Dora Milvain I have asked her
to marry me and by the Powers she has given me an encouraging answer Not an
actual yes but encouraging Shes away in the Channel Islands and I wrote «
He talked on for a quarter of an hour Then with a sudden movement the
listener freed himself
»I cant go any farther« he said hoarsely »Goodbye«
Whelpdale was disconcerted
»I have been boring you Thats a confounded fault of mine I know it«
Bitten had waved his hand and was gone
A week or two more would see him at the end of his money He had no lessons
now and could not write from his novel nothing was to be expected He might
apply again to his brother but such dependence was unjust and unworthy And why
should he struggle to preserve a life which had no prospect but of misery
It was in the hours following his encounter with Whelpdale that he first
knew the actual desire of death the simple longing for extinction One must go
far in suffering before the innate willtolive is thus truly overcome
weariness of bodily anguish may induce this perversion of the instincts less
often that despair of suppressed emotion which had fallen upon Harold Through
the night he kept his thoughts fixed on death in its aspect of repose of
eternal oblivion And herein he had found solace
The next night it was the same Moving about among common needs and
occupations he knew not a moments cessation of heartache but when he lay
down in the darkness a hopeful summons whispered to him Night which had been
the worst season of his pain had now grown friendly it came as an anticipation
of the sleep that is everlasting
A few more days and he was possessed by a calm of spirit such as he had
never known His resolve was taken not in a moment of supreme conflict but as
the result of a subtle process by which his imagination had become in love with
death Turning from contemplation of lifes one rapture he looked with the same
intensity of desire to a state that had neither fear nor hope
One afternoon he went to the Museum Readingroom and was busy for a few
minutes in consultation of a volume which he took from the shelves of medical
literature On his way homeward he entered two or three chemists shop
Something of which he had need could be procured only in very small quantities
but repetition of his demand in different places supplied him sufficiently When
he reached his room he emptied the contents of sundry little bottles into one
larger and put this in his pocket Then he wrote rather a long letter
addressed to his brother at Liverpool
It had been a beautiful day and there wanted still a couple of hours before
the warm golden sunlight would disappear Harold stood and looked round his
room As always it presented a neat orderly aspect but his eye caught sight
of a volume which stood upside down and this fault particularly hateful to a
bookish man he rectified He put his blottingpad square on the table closed
the lid of the inkstand arranged his pens Then he took his hat and stick
locked the door behind him and went downstairs At the foot he spoke to his
landlady and told her that he should not return that night As soon as possible
after leaving the house he posted his letter
His direction was westward walking at a steady purposeful pace with
cheery countenance and eyes that gave sign of pleasure as often as they turned
to the sunsmitten clouds he struck across Kensington Gardens and then on
towards Fulham where he crossed the Thames to Putney The sun was just setting
he paused a few moments on the bridge watching the river with a quiet smile
and enjoying the splendour of the sky Up Putney Hill he walked slowly when he
reached the top it was growing dark but an unwonted effect in the atmosphere
caused him to turn and look to the east An exclamation escaped his lips for
there before him was the newrisen moon a perfect globe vast and red He gazed
at it for a long time
When the daylight had entirely passed he went forward on to the heath and
rambled as if idly to a secluded part where trees and bushes made a deep
shadow under the full moon It was still quite warm and scarcely a breath of
air moved among the reddening leaves
Sure at length that he was remote from all observation he pressed into a
little copse and there reclined on the grass leaning against the stem of a
tree The moon was now hidden from him but by looking upward he could see its
light upon a long faint cloud and the blue of the placid sky His mood was one
of ineffable peace Only thoughts of beautiful things came into his mind he had
reverted to an earlier period of life when as yet no mission of literary
realism had been imposed upon him and when his passions were still soothed by
natural hope The memory of his friend Reardon was strongly present with him
but of Amy he thought only as of that star which had just come into his vision
above the edge of dark foliage beautiful but infinitely remote
Recalling Reardons voice it brought to him those last words whispered by
his dying companion He remembered them now
We are such stuff
As dreams are made on and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep
Chapter 36
Jaspers Delicate Case
Only when he received Miss Ruperts amiablyworded refusal to become his wife
was Jasper aware how firmly he had counted on her accepting him He told Dora
with sincerity that his proposal was a piece of foolishness so far from having
any regard for Miss Rupert he felt towards her with something of antipathy and
at the same time he was conscious of ardent emotions if not love for another
woman who would be no bad match even from the commercial point of view Yet so
strong was the effect upon him of contemplating a large fortune that in
despite of reason and desire he lived in eager expectation of the word which
should make him rich And for several hours after his disappointment he could
not overcome the impression of calamity
A part of that impression was due to the engagement which he must now
fulfil He had pledged his word to ask Marian to marry him without further
delay To shuffle out of this duty would make him too ignoble even in his own
eyes Its discharge meant as he had expressed it that he was doomed he would
deliberately be committing the very error always so flagrant to him in the case
of other men who had crippled themselves by early marriage with a penniless
woman But events had enmeshed him circumstances had proved fatal Because in
his salad days he dallied with a girl who had indeed many charms step by step
he had come to the necessity of sacrificing his prospects to that raw
attachment And to make it more irritating this happened just when the way
began to be much clearer before him
Unable to think of work he left the house and wandered gloomily about
Regents Park For the first time in his recollection the confidence which was
wont to inspirit him gave way to an attack of sullen discontent He felt himself
illused by destiny and therefore by Marian who was fates instrument It was
not in his nature that this mood should last long but it revealed to him those
darker possibilities which his egoism would develop if it came seriously into
conflict with overmastering misfortune A hope a craven hope insinuated itself
into the cracks of his infirm resolve He would not examine it but conscious of
its existence he was able to go home in somewhat better spirits
He wrote to Marian If possible she was to meet him at halfpast nine next
morning at Gloucester Gate He had reasons for wishing this interview to take
place on neutral ground
Early in the afternoon when he was trying to do some work there arrived a
letter which he opened with impatient hand the writing was Mrs Reardons and
he could not guess what she had to communicate
»Dear Mr Milvain I am distressed beyond measure to read in this
mornings newspaper that poor Mr Biffen has put an end to his life
Doubtless you can obtain more details than are given in this bare report
of the discovery of his body Will you let me hear or come and see me«
He read and was astonished Absorbed in his own affairs he had not opened the
newspaper today it lay folded on a chair Hastily he ran his eye over the
columns and found at length a short paragraph which stated that the body of a
man who had evidently committed suicide by taking poison had been found on
Putney Heath that papers in his pockets identified him as one Harold Biffen
lately resident in Goodge Street Tottenham Court Road and that an inquest
would be held etc He went to Doras room and told her of the event but
without mentioning the letter which had brought it under his notice
»I suppose there was no alternative between that and starvation I scarcely
thought of Biffen as likely to kill himself If Reardon had done it I shouldnt
have felt the least surprise«
»Mr Whelpdale will be bringing us information no doubt« said Dora who as
she spoke thought more of that gentlemans visit than of the event that was to
occasion it
»Really one cant grieve There seemed no possibility of his ever earning
enough to live decently upon But why the deuce did he go all the way out there
Consideration for the people in whose house he lived I dare say Biffen had a
good deal of native delicacy«
Dora felt a secret wish that someone else possessed more of that desirable
quality
Leaving her Jasper made a rapid though careful toilet and was presently
on his way to Westbourne Park It was his hope that he should reach Mrs Yules
house before any ordinary afternoon caller could arrive and so he did He had
not been here since that evening when he encountered Reardon on the road and
heard his reproaches To his great satisfaction Amy was alone in the
drawingroom he held her hand a trifle longer than was necessary and returned
more earnestly the look of interest with which she regarded him
»I was ignorant of this affair when your letter came« he began »and I set
out immediately to see you«
»I hoped you would bring me some news What can have driven the poor man to
such extremity«
»Poverty I can only suppose But I will see Whelpdale I hadnt come across
Biffen for a long time«
»Was he still so very poor« asked Amy compassionately
»Im afraid so His book failed utterly«
»Oh if I had imagined him still in such distress surely I might have done
something to help him« So often the regretful remark of ones friends when
one has been permitted to perish
With Amys sorrow was mingled a suggestion of tenderness which came of her
knowledge that the dead man had worshipped her Perchance his death was in part
attributable to that hopeless love
»He sent me a copy of his novel« she said »and I saw him once or twice
after that But he was much better dressed than in former days and I thought «
Having this subject to converse upon put the two more quickly at ease than
could otherwise have been the case Jasper was closely observant of the young
widow her finished graces made a strong appeal to his admiration and even in
some degree awed him He saw that her beauty had matured and it was more
distinctly than ever of the type to which he paid reverence Amy might take a
foremost place among brilliant women At a dinnertable in grand toilet she
would be superb at polite receptions people would whisper »Who is that«
Biffen fell out of the dialogue
»It grieved me very much« said Amy »to hear of the misfortune that befell
my cousin«
»The legacy affair Why yes it was a pity Especially now that her father
is threatened with blindness«
»Is it so serious I heard indirectly that he had something the matter with
his eyes but I didnt know «
»They may be able to operate before long and perhaps it will be successful
But in the meantime Marian has to do his work«
»This explains the the delay« fell from Amys lips as she smiled
Jasper moved uncomfortably It was a voluntary gesture
»The whole situation explains it« he replied with some show of
impulsiveness »I am very much afraid Marian is tied during her fathers life«
»Indeed But there is her mother«
»No companion for her father as I think you know Even if Mr Yule recovers
his sight it is not at all likely that he will be able to work as before Our
difficulties are so grave that «
He paused and let his hand fall despondently
»I hope it isnt affecting your work your progress«
»To some extent necessarily I have a good deal of will you remember and
what I have set my mind upon no doubt I shall some day achieve But one
makes mistakes«
There was silence
»The last three years« he continued »have made no slight difference in my
position Recall where I stood when you first knew me I have done something
since then I think and by my own steady effort«
»Indeed you have«
»Just now I am in need of a little encouragement You dont notice any
falling off in my work recently«
»No indeed«
»Do you see my things in The Current and so on generally«
»I dont think I miss many of your articles Sometimes I believe I have
detected you when there was no signature«
»And Dora has been doing well Her story in that girls paper has attracted
attention Its a great deal to have my mind at rest about both the girls But I
cant pretend to be in very good spirits« He rose »Well I must try to find
out something more about poor Biffen«
»Oh you are not going yet Mr Milvain«
»Not assuredly because I wish to But I have work to do« He stepped
aside but came back as if on an impulse »May I ask you for your advice in a
very delicate matter«
Amy was a little disturbed but she collected herself and smiled in a way
that reminded Jasper of his walk with her along Gower Street
»Let me hear what it is«
He sat down again and bent forward
»If Marian insists that it is her duty to remain with her father am I
justified or not in freely consenting to that«
»I scarcely understand Has Marian expressed a wish to devote herself in
that way«
»Not distinctly But I suspect that her conscience points to it I am in
serious doubt On the one hand« he explained in a tone of candour »who will
not blame me if our engagement terminates in circumstances such as these On the
other you are aware bytheby that her father objects in the strongest way
to this marriage«
»No I didnt know that«
»He will neither see me nor hear of me Merely because of my connection with
Fadge Think of that poor girl thus situated And I could so easily put her at
rest by renouncing all claim upon her«
»I surmise that that you yourself would also be put at rest by such a
decision«
»Dont look at me with that ironical smile« he pleaded »What you have said
is true And really why should I not be glad of it I couldnt go about
declaring that I was heartbroken in any event I must be content for people to
judge me according to their disposition and judgments are pretty sure to be
unfavourable What can I do In either case I must to a certain extent be in the
wrong To tell the truth I was wrong from the first«
There was a slight movement about Amys lips as these words were uttered
she kept her eyes down and waited before replying
»The case is too delicate I fear for my advice«
»Yes I feel it and perhaps I oughtnt to have spoken of it at all Well
Ill go back to my scribbling I am so very glad to have seen you again«
»It was good of you to take the trouble to come whilst you have so much on
your mind«
Again Jasper held the white soft hand for a superfluous moment
The next morning it was he who had to wait at the rendezvous he was pacing
the pathway at least ten minutes before the appointed time When Marian joined
him she was panting from a hurried walk and this affected Jasper disagreeably
he thought of Amy Reardons air of repose and how impossible it would be for
that refined person to fall into such disorder He observed too with more
disgust than usual the signs in Marians attire of encroaching poverty her
unsatisfactory gloves her mantle out of fashion Yet for such feelings he
reproached himself and the reproach made him angry
They walked together in the same direction as when they met here before
Marian could not mistake the air of restless trouble on her companions smooth
countenance She had divined that there was some grave reason for this summons
and the panting with which she had approached was half caused by the anxious
beats of her heart Jaspers long silence again was ominous He began abruptly
»Youve heard that Harold Biffen has committed suicide«
»No« she replied looking shocked
»Poisoned himself Youll find something about it in todays Telegraph«
He gave her such details as he had obtained then added
»There are two of my companions fallen in the battle I ought to think
myself a lucky fellow Marian What«
»You are better fitted to fight your way Jasper«
»More of a brute you mean«
»You know very well I dont You have more energy and more intellect«
»Well it remains to be seen how I shall come out when I am weighted with
graver cares than I have yet known«
She looked at him inquiringly but said nothing
»I have made up my mind about our affairs« he went on precisely »Marian
if ever we are to be married it must be now«
The words were so unexpected that they brought a flush to her cheeks and
neck
»Now«
»Yes Will you marry me and let us take our chance«
Her heart throbbed violently
»You dont mean at once Jasper You would wait until I know what fathers
fate is to be«
»Well now theres the point You feel yourself indispensable to your
father at present«
»Not indispensable but wouldnt it seem very unkind I should be so
afraid of the effect upon his health Jasper So much depends we are told upon
his general state of mind and body It would be dreadful if I were the cause of
«
She paused and looked up at him touchingly
»I understand that But let us face our position Suppose the operation is
successful your father will certainly not be able to use his eyes much for a
long time if ever and perhaps he would miss you as much then as now Suppose
he does not regain his sight could you then leave him«
»Dear I cant feel it would be my duty to renounce you because my father
had become blind And if he can see pretty well I dont think I need remain
with him«
»Has one thing occurred to you Will he consent to receive an allowance from
a person whose name is Mrs Milvain«
»I cant be sure« she replied much troubled
»And if he obstinately refuses what then What is before him«
Marians head sank and she stood still
»Why have you changed your mind so Jasper« she inquired at length
»Because I have decided that the indefinitely long engagement would be
unjust to you and to myself Such engagements are always dangerous sometimes
they deprave the character of the man or woman«
She listened anxiously and reflected
»Everything« he went on »would be simple enough but for your domestic
difficulties As I have said there is the very serious doubt whether your
father would accept money from you when you are my wife Then again shall we be
able to afford such an allowance«
»I thought you felt sure of that«
»Im not very sure of anything to tell the truth I am harassed I cant
get on with my work«
»I am very very sorry«
»It isnt your fault Marian and Well then theres only one thing to
do Let us wait at all events till your father has undergone the operation
Whichever the result you say your own position will be the same«
»Except Jasper that if father is helpless I must find means of assuring
his support«
»In other words, if you cant do that as my wife you must remain Marian
Yule«
After a silence Marian regarded him steadily
»You see only the difficulties in our way« she said in a colder voice
»They are many I know Do you think them insurmountable«
»Upon my word they almost seem so« Jasper exclaimed distractedly
»They were not so great when we spoke of marriage a few years hence«
»A few years« he echoed in a cheerless voice »That is just what I have
decided is impossible Marian you shall have the plain truth I can trust your
faith but I cant trust my own I will marry you now but years hence how
can I tell what may happen I dont trust myself«
»You say you will marry me now that sounds as if you had made up your mind
to a sacrifice«
»I didnt mean that To face difficulties yes«
Whilst they spoke the sky had grown dark with a heavy cloud and now spots
of rain began to fall Jasper looked about him in annoyance as he felt the
moisture but Marian did not seem aware of it
»But shall you face them willingly«
»I am not a man to repine and grumble Put up your umbrella Marian«
»What do I care for a drop of rain« she exclaimed with passionate sadness
»when all my life is at stake How am I to understand you Every word you speak
seems intended to dishearten me Do you no longer love me Why need you conceal
it if that is the truth Is that what you mean by saying you distrust yourself
If you do so there must be reason for it in the present Could I distrust my
self Can I force myself in any manner to believe that I shall ever cease to
love you«
Jasper opened his umbrella
»We must see each other again Marian We cant stand and talk in the rain
confound it Cursed climate where you can never be sure of a clear sky for five
minutes«
»I cant go till you have spoken more plainly Jasper How am I to live an
hour in such uncertainty as this Do you love me or not Do you wish me to be
your wife or are you sacrificing yourself«
»I do wish it« Her emotion had an effect upon him and his voice trembled
»But I cant answer for myself no not for a year And how are we to marry
now in face of all these «
»What can I do What can I do« she sobbed »Oh if I were but heartless to
everyone but you If I could give you my money and leave my father and mother
to their fate Perhaps some could do that There is no natural law that a child
should surrender everything for her parents You know so much more of the world
than I do cant you advise me Is there no way of providing for my father«
»Good God This is frightful Marian I cant stand it Live as you are
doing Let us wait and see«
»At the cost of losing you«
»I will be faithful to you«
»And your voice says you promise it out of pity«
He had made a pretence of holding his umbrella over her but Marian turned
away and walked to a little distance and stood beneath the shelter of a great
tree her face averted from him Moving to follow he saw that her frame was
shaken with soundless sobbing When his footsteps came close to her she again
looked at him
»I know now« she said »how foolish it is when they talk of love being
unselfish In what can there be more selfishness I feel as if I could hold you
to your promise at any cost though you have made me understand that you regard
our engagement as your great misfortune I have felt it for weeks oh for
months But I couldnt say a word that would seem to invite such misery as this
You dont love me Jasper and thats an end of everything I should be shamed
if I married you«
»Whether I love you or not I feel as if no sacrifice would be too great
that would bring you the happiness you deserve«
»Deserve« she repeated bitterly »Why do I deserve it Because I long for
it with all my heart and soul Theres no such thing as deserving Happiness or
misery come to us by fate«
»Is it in my power to make you happy«
»No because it isnt in your power to call dead love to life again I think
perhaps you never loved me Jasper I could give my right hand if you had said
you loved me before I cant put it into words it sounds too base and I dont
wish to imply that you behaved basely But if you had said you loved me before
that I should have it always to remember«
»You will do me no wrong if you charge me with baseness« he replied
gloomily »If I believe anything I believe that I did love you But I knew
myself and I should never have betrayed what I felt if for once in my life I
could have been honourable«
The rain pattered on the leaves and the grass and still the sky darkened
»This is wretchedness to both of us« Jasper added »Let us part now
Marian Let me see you again«
»I cant see you again What can you say to me more than you have said now
I should feel like a beggar coming to you I must try and keep some little
selfrespect if I am to live at all«
»Then let me help you to think of me with indifference Remember me as a man
who disregarded priceless love such as yours to go and make himself a proud
position among fools and knaves indeed thats what it comes to It is you who
reject me and rightly One who is so much at the mercy of a vulgar ambition as
I am is no fit husband for you Soon enough you would thoroughly despise me
and though I should know it was merited my perverse pride would revolt against
it Many a time I have tried to regard life practically as I am able to do
theoretically but it always ends in hypocrisy It is men of my kind who
succeed the conscientious and those who really have a high ideal either
perish or struggle on in neglect«
Marian had overcome her excess of emotion
»There is no need to disparage yourself« she said »What can be simpler
than the truth You loved me or thought you did and now you love me no longer
It is a thing that happens every day either in man or woman and all that
honour demands is the courage to confess the truth Why didnt you tell me as
soon as you knew that I was burdensome to you«
»Marian will you do this will you let our engagement last for another
six months but without our meeting during that time«
»But to what purpose«
»Then we would see each other again and both would be able to speak calmly
and we should both know with certainty what course we ought to pursue«
»That seems to me childish It is easy for you to contemplate months of
postponement There must be an end now I can bear it no longer«
The rain fell unceasingly and with it began to mingle an autumnal mist
Jasper delayed a moment then asked calmly
»Are you going to the Museum«
»Yes«
»Go home again for this morning Marian You cant work «
»I must and I have no time to lose Goodbye«
She gave him her hand They looked at each other for an instant then Marian
left the shelter of the tree opened her umbrella and walked quickly away
Jasper did not watch her he had the face of a man who is suffering a severe
humiliation
A few hours later he told Dora what had come to pass and without
extenuation of his own conduct His sister said very little for she recognised
genuine suffering in his tones and aspect But when it was over she sat down
and wrote to Marian
»I feel far more disposed to congratulate you than to regret what has
happened Now that there is no necessity for silence I will tell you
something which will help you to see Jasper in his true light A few
weeks ago he actually proposed to a woman for whom he does not pretend
to have the slightest affection but who is very rich and who seemed
likely to be foolish enough to marry him Yesterday morning he received
her final answer a refusal I am not sure that I was right in keeping
this a secret from you but I might have done harm by interfering You
will understand though surely you need no fresh proof how utterly
unworthy he is of you You cannot I am sure you cannot regard it as a
misfortune that all is over between you Dearest Marian do not cease to
think of me as your friend because my brother has disgraced himself If
you cant see me at least let us write to each other You are the only
friend I have of my own sex and I could not bear to lose you«
And much more of the same tenor
Several days passed before there came a reply It was written with
undisturbed kindness of feeling but in a few words
»For the present we cannot see each other but I am very far from
wishing that our friendship should come to an end I must only ask that
you will write to me without the least reference to these troubles tell
me always about yourself and be sure that you cannot tell me too much
I hope you may soon be able to send me the news which was foreshadowed
in our last talk though foreshadowed is a wrong word to use of coming
happiness isnt it That paper I sent to Mr Trenchard is accepted and
I shall be glad to have your criticism when it comes out dont spare my
style which needs a great deal of chastening I have been thinking
couldnt you use your holiday in Sark for a story To judge from your
letters you could make an excellent background of wordpainting«
Dora sighed and shook her little head and thought of her brother with
unspeakable disdain
Chapter 37
Rewards
When the fitting moment arrived Alfred Yule underwent an operation for
cataract and it was believed at first that the result would be favourable This
hope had but short duration though the utmost prudence was exercised evil
symptoms declared themselves and in a few months time all prospect of
restoring his vision was at an end Anxiety then the fatal assurance
undermined his health with blindness there fell upon him the debility of
premature old age
The position of the family was desperate Marian had suffered much all the
winter from attacks of nervous disorder and by no effort of will could she
produce enough literary work to supplement adequately the income derived from
her fifteen hundred pounds In the summer of 1885 things were at the worst
Marian saw no alternative but to draw upon her capital and so relieve the
present at the expense of the future She had a mournful warning before her eyes
in the case of poor Hinks and his wife who were now kept from the workhouse
only by charity But at this juncture the rescuer appeared Mr Quarmby and
certain of his friends were already making a subscription for the Yules
benefit when one of their number Mr Jedwood the publisher came forward
with a proposal which relieved the minds of all concerned Mr Jedwood had a
brother who was the director of a public library in a provincial town and by
this means he was enabled to offer Marian Yule a place as assistant in that
institution she would receive seventyfive pounds a year and thus adding her
own income would be able to put her parents beyond the reach of want The
family at once removed from London and the name of Yule was no longer met with
in periodical literature
By an interesting coincidence it was on the day of this departure that
there appeared a number of The West End in which the place of honour that of
the weeks Celebrity was occupied by Clement Fadge A coloured portrait of this
illustrious man challenged the admiration of all who had literary tastes and
two columns of panegyric recorded his career for the encouragement of aspiring
youth This article of course unsigned came from the pen of Jasper Milvain
It was only by indirect channels that Jasper learnt how Marian and her
parents had been provided for Doras correspondence with her friend soon
languished in the nature of things this could not but happen and about the
time when Alfred Yule became totally blind the girls ceased to hear anything of
each other An event which came to pass in the spring sorely tempted Dora to
write but out of good feeling she refrained
For it was then that she at length decided to change her name for that of
Whelpdale Jasper could not quite reconcile himself to this condescension in
various discourses he pointed out to his sister how much higher she might look
if she would only have a little patience
»Whelpdale will never be a man of any note A good fellow I admit but
borné in all senses Let me impress upon you my dear girl that I have a future
before me and that there is no reason with your charm of person and mind
why you should not marry brilliantly Whelpdale can give you a decent home I
admit but as regards society he will be a drag upon you«
»It happens Jasper that I have promised to marry him« replied Dora in a
significant tone
»Well I regret it but you are of course your own mistress I shall make
no unpleasantness I dont dislike Whelpdale and I shall remain on friendly
terms with him«
»That is very kind of you« said his sister suavely
Whelpdale was frantic with exultation When the day of the wedding had been
settled he rushed into Jaspers study and fairly shed tears before he could
command his voice
»There is no mortal on the surface of the globe onetenth so happy as I am«
he gasped »I cant believe it Why in the name of sense and justice have I been
suffered to attain this blessedness Think of the days when I all but starved in
my Albany Street garret scarcely better off than poor dear old Biffen Why
should I have come to this and Biffen have poisoned himself in despair He was
a thousand times a better and cleverer fellow than I And poor old Reardon dead
in misery Could I for a moment compare with him«
»My dear fellow« said Jasper calmly »compose yourself and be logical In
the first place success has nothing whatever to do with moral deserts and
then both Reardon and Biffen were hopelessly unpractical In such an admirable
social order as ours they were bound to go to the dogs Let us be sorry for
them but let us recognise causas rerum as Biffen would have said You have
exercised ingenuity and perseverance you have your reward«
»And when I think that I might have married fatally on thirteen or fourteen
different occasions Bytheby I implore you never to tell Dora those stories
about me I should lose all her respect Do you remember the girl from
Birmingham« He laughed wildly »Heaven be praised that she threw me over
Eternal gratitude to all and sundry of the girls who have plunged me into
wretchedness«
»I admit that you have run the gauntlet and that you have had marvellous
escapes But be good enough to leave me alone for the present I must finish
this review by midday«
»Only one word I dont know how to thank Dora how to express my infinite
sense of her goodness Will you try to do so for me You can speak to her with
calmness Will you tell her what I have said to you«
»Oh certainly I should recommend a cooling draught of some kind Look in
at a chemists as you walk on«
The heavens did not fall before the marriageday and the wedded pair betook
themselves for a few weeks to the Continent They had been back again and
established in their house at Earls Court for a month when one morning about
twelve oclock Jasper dropped in as though casually Dora was writing she had
no thought of entirely abandoning literature and had in hand at present a very
pretty tale which would probably appear in The English Girl Her boudoir in
which she sat could not well have been daintier and more appropriate to the
charming characteristics of its mistress Mrs Whelpdale affected no literary
slovenliness she was dressed in light colours and looked so lovely that even
Jasper paused on the threshold with a smile of admiration
»Upon my word« he exclaimed »I am proud of my sisters What did you think
of Maud last night Wasnt she superb«
»She certainly did look very well But I doubt if shes very happy«
»That is her own look out I told her plainly enough my opinion of Dolomore
But she was in such a tremendous hurry«
»You are detestable Jasper Is it inconceivable to you that a man or woman
should be disinterested when they marry«
»By no means«
»Maud didnt marry for money any more than I did«
»You remember the Northern Farmer Doänt thou marry for money but go where
money is An admirable piece of advice Well Maud made a mistake let us say
Dolomore is a clown and now she knows it Why if she had waited she might
have married one of the leading men of the day She is fit to be a duchess as
far as appearance goes but I was never snobbish I care very little about
titles what I look to is intellectual distinction«
»Combined with financial success«
»Why that is what distinction means« He looked round the room with a
smile »You are not uncomfortable here old girl I wish mother could have lived
till now«
»I wish it very very often« Dora replied in a moved voice
»We havent done badly drawbacks considered Now you may speak of money as
scornfully as you like but suppose you had married a man who could only keep
you in lodgings How would life look to you«
»Who ever disputed the value of money But there are things one mustnt
sacrifice to gain it«
»I suppose so Well I have some news for you Dora I am thinking of
following your example«
Doras face changed to grave anticipation
»And who is it«
»Amy Reardon«
His sister turned away with a look of intense annoyance
»You see I am disinterested myself« he went on »I might find a wife who
had wealth and social standing But I choose Amy deliberately«
»An abominable choice«
»No an excellent choice I have never yet met a woman so well fitted to aid
me in my career She has a trifling sum of money which will be useful for the
next year or two «
»What has she done with the rest of it then«
»Oh the ten thousand is intact but it cant be seriously spoken of It
will keep up appearances till I get my editorship and so on We shall be married
early in August I think I want to ask you if you will go and see her«
»On no account I couldnt be civil to her«
Jaspers brows blackened
»This is idiotic prejudice Dora I think I have some claim upon you I have
shown some kindness «
»You have and I am not ungrateful But I dislike Mrs Reardon and I
couldnt bring myself to be friendly with her«
»You dont know her«
»Too well You yourself have taught me to know her Dont compel me to say
what I think of her«
»She is beautiful and highminded and warmhearted I dont know a womanly
quality that she doesnt possess You will offend me most seriously if you speak
a word against her«
»Then I will be silent But you must never ask me to meet her«
»Never«
»Never«
»Then we shall quarrel I havent deserved this Dora If you refuse to meet
my wife on terms of decent friendliness theres no more intercourse between
your house and mine You have to choose Persist in this fatuous obstinacy and
I have done with you«
»So be it«
»That is your final answer«
Dora who was now as angry as he gave a short affirmative and Jasper at
once left her
But it was very unlikely that things should rest at this pass The brother
and sister were bound by a strong mutual affection and Whelpdale was not long
in effecting a compromise
»My dear wife« he exclaimed in despair at the threatened calamity »you
are right a thousand times but its impossible for you to be on ill terms with
Jasper Theres no need for you to see much of Mrs Reardon «
»I hate her She killed her husband I am sure of it«
»My darling«
»I mean by her base conduct She is a cold cruel unprincipled creature
Jasper makes himself more than ever contemptible by marrying her«
All the same in less than three weeks Mrs Whelpdale had called upon Amy
and the call was returned The two women were perfectly conscious of reciprocal
dislike but they smothered the feeling beneath conventional suavities Jasper
was not backward in making known his gratitude for Doras concession and indeed
it became clear to all his intimates that this marriage would be by no means one
of mere interest the man was in love at last if he had never been before
Let lapse the ensuing twelve months and come to an evening at the end of
July 1886 Mr and Mrs Milvain are entertaining a small and select party of
friends at dinner Their house in Bayswater is neither large nor internally
magnificent but it will do very well for the temporary sojourn of a young man
of letters who has much greater things in confident expectation who is a good
deal talked of who can gather clever and worthy people at his table and whose
matchless wife would attract men of taste to a very much poorer abode
Jasper had changed considerably in appearance since that last holiday that
he spent in his mothers house at Finden At present he would have been taken
for fiveandthirty though only in his twentyninth year his hair was
noticeably thinning his moustache had grown heavier a wrinkle or two showed
beneath his eyes his voice was softer yet firmer It goes without saying that
his evening uniform lacked no point of perfection and somehow it suggested a
more elaborate care than that of other men in the room He laughed frequently
and with a throwing back of the head which seemed to express a spirit of
triumph
Amy looked her years to the full but her type of beauty as you know was
independent of youthfulness That suspicion of masculinity observable in her
when she became Reardons wife impressed one now only as the consummate grace of
a perfectlybuilt woman You saw that at forty at fifty she would be one of
the stateliest of dames When she bent her head towards the person with whom she
spoke it was an act of queenly favour Her words were uttered with just enough
deliberation to give them the value of an opinion she smiled with a delicious
shade of irony her glance intimated that nothing could be too subtle for her
understanding
The guests numbered six and no one of them was insignificant Two of the
men were about Jaspers age and they had already made their mark in literature
the third was a novelist of circulating fame spirally crescent The three of
the stronger sex were excellent modern types with sweet lips attuned to
epigram and good broad brows
The novelist at one point put an interesting question to Amy
»Is it true that Fadge is leaving The Current«
»It is rumoured I believe«
»Going to one of the quarterlies they say« remarked a lady »He is getting
terribly autocratic Have you heard the delightful story of his telling Mr
Rowland to persevere as his last work was one of considerable promise«
Mr Rowland was a man who had made a merited reputation when Fadge was still
on the lower rungs of journalism Amy smiled and told another anecdote of the
great editor Whilst speaking she caught her husbands eye and perhaps this
was the reason why her story at the close seemed rather amiably pointless
not a common fault when she narrated
When the ladies had withdrawn one of the younger men in a conversation
about a certain magazine remarked
»Thomas always maintains that it was killed by that solemn old stager
Alfred Yule By the way he is dead himself I hear«
Jasper bent forward
»Alfred Yule is dead«
»So Jedwood told me this morning He died in the country somewhere blind
and fallen on evil days poor old fellow«
All the guests were ignorant of any tie of kindred between their host and
the man spoken of
»I believe« said the novelist »that he had a clever daughter who used to
do all the work he signed That used to be a current bit of scandal in Fadges
circle«
»Oh there was much exaggeration in that« remarked Jasper blandly »His
daughter assisted him doubtless but in quite a legitimate way One used to see
her at the Museum«
The subject was dropped
An hour and a half later when the last stranger had taken his leave Jasper
examined two or three letters which had arrived since dinnertime and were lying
on the hall table With one of them open in his hand he suddenly sprang up the
stairs and leaped rather than stepped into the drawingroom Amy was reading
an evening paper
»Look at this« he cried holding the letter to her
It was a communication from the publishers who owned The Current they
stated that the editorship of that review would shortly be resigned by Mr Fadge
and they inquired whether Milvain would feel disposed to assume the vacant
chair
Amy sprang up and threw her arms about her husbands neck uttering a cry of
delight
»So soon Oh this is great this is glorious«
»Do you think this would have been offered to me but for the spacious life
we have led of late Never Was I right in my calculations Amy«
»Did I ever doubt it«
He returned her embrace ardently and gazed into her eyes with profound
tenderness
»Doesnt the future brighten«
»It has been very bright to me Jasper since I became your wife«
»And I owe my fortune to you dear girl Now the way is smooth«
They placed themselves on a settee Jasper with an arm about his wifes
waist as if they were newly plighted lovers When they had talked for a long
time Milvain said in a changed tone
»I am told that your uncle is dead«
He mentioned how the news had reached him
»I must make inquiries tomorrow I suppose there will be a notice in The
Study and some of the other papers I hope somebody will make it an opportunity
to have a hit at that ruffian Fadge Bytheby it doesnt much matter now how
you speak of Fadge but I was a trifle anxious when I heard your story at
dinner«
»Oh you can afford to be more independent What are you thinking about«
»Nothing«
»Why do you look sad Yes I know I know Ill try to forgive you«
»I cant help thinking at times of the poor girl Amy Life will be easier
for her now with only her mother to support Someone spoke of her this evening
and repeated Fadges lie that she used to do all her fathers writing«
»She was capable of doing it I must seem to you rather a poorbrained woman
in comparison Isnt it true«
»My dearest you are a perfect woman and poor Marian was only a clever
schoolgirl Do you know I never could help imagining that she had inkstains
on her fingers Heaven forbid that I should say it unkindly It was touching to
me at the time for I knew how fearfully hard she worked«
»She nearly ruined your life remember that«
Jasper was silent
»You will never confess it and that is a fault in you«
»She loved me Amy«
»Perhaps as a schoolgirl loves But you never loved her«
»No«
Amy examined his face as he spoke
»Her image is very faint before me« Jasper pursued »and soon I shall
scarcely be able to recall it Yes you are right she nearly ruined me And in
more senses than one Poverty and struggle under such circumstances would have
made me a detestable creature As it is I am not such a bad fellow Amy«
She laughed and caressed his cheek
»No I am far from a bad fellow I feel kindly to everyone who deserves it
I like to be generous in word and deed Trust me theres many a man who would
like to be generous but is made despicably mean by necessity What a true
sentence that is of Landors It has been repeated often enough that vice leads
to misery will no man declare that misery leads to vice I have much of the
weakness that might become viciousness but I am now far from the possibility of
being vicious Of course there are men like Fadge who seem only to grow meaner
the more prosperous they are but these are exceptions Happiness is the nurse
of virtue«
»And independence the root of happiness«
»True The glorious privilege of being independent yes Burns understood
the matter Go to the piano dear and play me something If I dont mind I
shall fall into Whelpdales vein and talk about my blessedness Ha isnt the
world a glorious place«
»For rich people«
»Yes for rich people How I pity the poor devils Play anything Better
still if you will sing my nightingale«
So Amy first played and then sang and Jasper lay back in dreamy bliss