William Godwin
Things as They Are
or
The Adventures of Caleb Williams
Preface
The following narrative is intended to answer a purpose more general and
important than immediately appears upon the face of it The question now afloat
in the world respecting THINGS AS THEY ARE is the most interesting that can be
presented to the human mind While one party pleads for reformation and change
the other extols in the warmest terms the existing constitution of society It
seemed as if something would be gained for the decision of this question if
that constitution were faithfully developed in its practical effects What is
now presented to the public is no refined and abstract speculation it is a
study and delineation of things passing in the moral world It is but of late
that the inestimable importance of political principles has been adequately
apprehended It is now known to philosophers that the spirit and character of
the government intrudes itself into every rank of society But this is a truth
highly worthy to be communicated to persons whom books of philosophy and science
are never likely to reach Accordingly it was proposed in the invention of the
following work to comprehend as far as the progressive nature of a single
story would allow a general review of the modes of domestic and unrecorded
despotism by which man becomes the destroyer of man If the author shall have
taught a valuable lesson without subtracting from the interest and passion by
which a performance of this sort ought to be characterised he will have reason
to congratulate himself upon the vehicle he has chosen
MAY 12 1794
This preface was withdrawn in the original edition in compliance with the
alarms of booksellers Caleb Williams made his first appearance in the world in
the same month in which the sanguinary plot broke out against the liberties of
Englishmen which was happily terminated by the acquittal of its first intended
victims in the close of that year Terror was the order of the day and it was
feared that even the humble novelist might be shown to be constructively a
traitor
OCTOBER 29 1795
Volume I
Chapter I
My life has for several years been a theatre of calamity I have been a mark for
the vigilance of tyranny and I could not escape My fairest prospects have been
blasted My enemy has shown himself inaccessible to intreaties and untired in
persecution My fame as well as my happiness has become his victim Every one
as far as my story has been known has refused to assist me in my distress and
has execrated my name I have not deserved this treatment My own conscience
witnesses in behalf of that innocence my pretensions to which are regarded in
the world as incredible There is now however little hope that I shall escape
from the toils that universally beset me I am incited to the penning of these
memoirs only by a desire to divert my mind from the deplorableness of my
situation and a faint idea that posterity may by their means be induced to
render me a justice which my contemporaries refuse My story will at least
appear to have that consistency which is seldom attendant but upon truth
I was born of humble parents in a remote county of England Their
occupations were such as usually fall to the lot of peasants and they had no
portion to give me but an education free from the usual sources of depravity
and the inheritance long since lost by their unfortunate progeny of an honest
fame I was taught the rudiments of no science except reading writing and
arithmetic But I had an inquisitive mind and neglected no means of information
from conversation or books My improvement was greater than my condition in life
afforded room to expect
There are other circumstances deserving to be mentioned as having influenced
the history of my future life I was somewhat above the middle stature Without
being particularly athletic in appearance or large in my dimensions I was
uncommonly vigorous and active My joints were supple and I was formed to excel
in youthful sports The habits of my mind however were to a certain degree at
war with the dictates of boyish vanity I had considerable aversion to the
boisterous gaiety of the village gallants and contrived to satisfy my love of
praise with an unfrequent apparition at their amusements My excellence in these
respects however gave a turn to my meditations I delighted to read of feats of
activity and was particularly interested by tales in which corporeal ingenuity
or strength are the means resorted to for supplying resources and conquering
difficulties I inured myself to mechanical pursuits and devoted much of my
time to an endeavour after mechanical invention
The spring of action which perhaps more than any other characterised the
whole train of my life was curiosity It was this that gave me my mechanical
turn I was desirous of tracing the variety of effects which might be produced
from given causes It was this that made me a sort of natural philosopher I
could not rest till I had acquainted myself with the solutions that had been
invented for the phenomena of the universe In fine this produced in me an
invincible attachment to books of narrative and romance I panted for the
unravelling of an adventure with an anxiety perhaps almost equal to that of
the man whose future happiness or misery depended on its issue I read I
devoured compositions of this sort They took possession of my soul and the
effects they produced were frequently discernible in my external appearance and
my health My curiosity however was not entirely ignoble village anecdotes and
scandal had no charms for me my imagination must be excited and when that was
not done my curiosity was dormant
The residence of my parents was within the manor of Ferdinando Falkland a
country squire of considerable opulence At an early age I attracted the
favourable notice of Mr Collins this gentlemans steward who used to call in
occasionally at my fathers He observed the particulars of my progress with
approbation and made a favourable report to his master of my industry and
genius
In the summer of the year Mr Falkland visited his estate in our county
after an absence of several months This was a period of misfortune to me I was
then eighteen years of age My father lay dead in our cottage I had lost my
mother some years before In this forlorn situation I was surprised with a
message from the squire ordering me to repair to the mansionhouse the morning
after my fathers funeral
Though I was not a stranger to books I had no practical acquaintance with
men I had never had occasion to address a person of this elevated rank and I
felt no small uneasiness and awe on the present occasion I found Mr Falkland a
man of small stature with an extreme delicacy of form and appearance In place
of the hardfavoured and inflexible visages I had been accustomed to observe
every muscle and petty line of his countenance seemed to be in an inconceivable
degree pregnant with meaning His manner was kind attentive and humane His eye
was full of animation but there was a grave and sad solemnity in his air which
for want of experience I imagined was the inheritance of the great and the
instrument by which the distance between them and their inferiors was
maintained His look bespoke the unquietness of his mind and frequently
wandered with an expression of disconsolateness and anxiety
My reception was as gracious and encouraging as I could possibly desire Mr
Falkland questioned me respecting my learning and my conceptions of men and
things and listened to my answers with condescension and approbation This
kindness soon restored to me a considerable part of my selfpossession though I
still felt restrained by the graceful but unaltered dignity of his carriage
When Mr Falkland had satisfied his curiosity he proceeded to inform me that he
was in want of a secretary that I appeared to him sufficiently qualified for
that office and that if in my present change of situation occasioned by the
death of my father I approved of the employment he would take me into his
family
I felt highly flattered by the proposal and was warm in the expression of
my acknowledgements I set eagerly about the disposal of the little property my
father had left in which I was assisted by Mr Collins I had not now a
relation in the world upon whose kindness and interposition I had any direct
claim But far from regarding this deserted situation with terror I formed
golden visions of the station I was about to occupy I little suspected that the
gaiety and lightness of heart I had hitherto enjoyed were upon the point of
leaving me for ever and that the rest of my days were devoted to misery and
alarm
My employment was easy and agreeable It consisted partly in the
transcribing and arranging certain papers and partly in writing from my
masters dictation letters of business as well as sketches of literary
composition Many of these latter consisted of an analytical survey of the plans
of different authors and conjectural speculations upon hints they afforded
tending either to the detection of their errors or the carrying forward their
discoveries All of them bore powerful marks of a profound and elegant mind
well stored with literature and possessed of an uncommon share of activity and
discrimination
My station was in that part of the house which was appropriated for the
reception of books it being my duty to perform the functions of librarian as
well as secretary Here my hours would have glided in tranquillity and peace
had not my situation included in it circumstances totally different from those
which attended me in my fathers cottage In early life my mind had been much
engrossed by reading and reflexion My intercourse with my fellow mortals was
occasional and short But in my new residence I was excited by every motive of
interest and novelty to study my masters character and I found in it an ample
field for speculation and conjecture
His mode of living was in the utmost degree recluse and solitary He had no
inclination to scenes of revelry and mirth He avoided the busy haunts of men
nor did he seem desirous to compensate for this privation by the confidence of
friendship He appeared a total stranger to every thing which usually bears the
appellation of pleasure His features were scarcely ever relaxed into a smile
nor did that air which bespoke the unhappiness of his mind at any time forsake
them Yet his manners were by no means such as denoted moroseness and
misanthropy He was compassionate and considerate for others though the
stateliness of his carriage and the reserve of his temper were at no time
interrupted His appearance and general behaviour might have strongly interested
all persons in his favour but the coldness of his address and the
impenetrableness of his sentiments seemed to forbid those demonstrations of
kindness to which one might otherwise have been prompted
Such was the general appearance of Mr Falkland but his disposition was
extremely unequal The distemper which afflicted him with incessant gloom had
its paroxysms Sometimes he was hasty peevish and tyrannical but this
proceeded rather from the torment of his mind than an unfeeling disposition
and when reflexion recurred he appeared willing that the weight of his
misfortune should fall wholly upon himself Sometimes he entirely lost his
selfpossession and his behaviour was changed into frenzy He would strike his
forehead his brows became knit his features distorted and his teeth ground
one against the other When he felt the approach of these symptoms he would
suddenly rise and leaving the occupation whatever it was in which he was
engaged hasten into a solitude upon which no person dared to intrude
It must not be supposed that the whole of what I am describing was visible
to the persons about him nor indeed was I acquainted with it in the extent here
stated but after a considerable time and in gradual succession With respect
to the domestics in general they saw but little of their master None of them
except myself from the nature of my functions and Mr Collins from the
antiquity of his service and the respectableness of his character approached
Mr Falkland but at stated seasons and for a very short interval They knew him
only by the benevolence of his actions and the principles of inflexible
integrity by which he was ordinarily guided and though they would sometimes
indulge their conjectures respecting his singularities they regarded him upon
the whole with veneration as a being of superior order
One day when I had been about three months in the service of my patron I
went to a closet or small apartment which was separated from the library by a
narrow gallery that was lighted by a small window near the roof I had conceived
that there was no person in the room and intended only to put any thing in
order that I might find out of its place As I opened the door I heard at the
same instant a deep groan expressive of intolerable anguish The sound of the
door in opening seemed to alarm the person within I heard the lid of a trunk
hastily shut and the noise as of fastening a lock I conceived that Mr
Falkland was there and was going instantly to retire but at that moment a
voice that seemed supernaturally tremendous exclaimed Who is there The voice
was Mr Falklands The sound of it thrilled my very vitals I endeavoured to
answer but my speech failed and being incapable of any other reply I
instinctively advanced within the door into the room Mr Falkland was just
risen from the floor upon which he had been sitting or kneeling His face
betrayed strong symptoms of confusion With a violent effort however these
symptoms vanished and instantaneously gave place to a countenance sparkling
with rage Villain cried he what has brought you here I hesitated a confused
and irresolute answer Wretch interrupted Mr Falkland with uncontrolable
impatience you want to ruin me You set yourself as a spy upon my actions But
bitterly shall you repent your insolence Do you think you shall watch my
privacies with impunity I attempted to defend myself Begone devil rejoined
he Quit the room or I will trample you into atoms Saying this he advanced
towards me But I was already sufficiently terrified and vanished in a moment
I heard the door shut after me with violence and thus ended this extraordinary
scene
I saw him again in the evening and he was then tolerably composed His
behaviour which was always kind was now doubly attentive and soothing He
seemed to have something of which he wished to disburthen his mind but to want
words in which to convey it I looked at him with anxiety and affection He made
two unsuccessful efforts shook his head and then putting five guineas into my
hand pressed it in a manner that I could feel proceeded from a mind pregnant
with various emotions though I could not interpret them Having done this he
seemed immediately to recollect himself and to take refuge in the usual
distance and solemnity of his manner
I easily understood that secrecy was one of the things expected from me and
indeed my mind was too much disposed to meditate upon what I had heard and seen
to make it a topic of indiscriminate communication Mr Collins however and
myself happened to sup together that evening which was but seldom the case his
avocations obliging him to be much abroad He could not help observing an
uncommon dejection and anxiety in my countenance and affectionately enquired
into the reason I endeavoured to evade his questions but my youth and
ignorance of the world gave me little advantage for that purpose Beside this I
had been accustomed to view Mr Collins with considerable attachment and I
conceived from the nature of his situation that there could be but small
impropriety in making him my confident in the present instance I repeated to
him minutely every thing that had passed and concluded with a solemn
declaration that though treated with caprice I was not anxious for myself no
inconvenience or danger should ever lead me to a pusillanimous behaviour and I
felt only for my patron who with every advantage for happiness and being in
the highest degree worthy of it seemed destined to undergo unmerited distress
In answer to my communication Mr Collins informed me that some incidents of
a nature similar to that which I related had fallen under his own knowledge and
that from the whole he could not help concluding that our unfortunate patron was
at times disordered in his intellects Alas continued he it was not always
thus Ferdinando Falkland was once the gayest of the gay Not indeed of that
frothy sort who excite contempt instead of admiration and whose levity argues
thoughtlessness rather than felicity His gaiety was always accompanied with
dignity It was the gaiety of the hero and the scholar It was chastened with
reflexion and sensibility and never lost sight either of good taste or
humanity Such as it was however it denoted a genuine hilarity of heart
imparted an inconceivable brilliancy to his company and conversation and
rendered him the perpetual delight of the diversified circles he then willingly
frequented You see nothing of him my dear Williams but the ruin of that
Falkland who was courted by sages and adored by the fair His youth
distinguished in its outset by the most unusual promise is tarnished His
sensibility is shrunk up and withered by events the most disgustful to his
feelings His mind was fraught with all the rhapsodies of visionary honour and
in his sense nothing but the grosser part the mere shell of Falkland was
capable of surviving the wound that his pride has sustained
These reflexions of my friend Collins strongly tended to inflame my
curiosity and I requested him to enter into a more copious explanation With
this request he readily complied as conceiving that whatever delicacy it
became him to exercise in ordinary cases it would be out of place in my
situation and thinking it not improbable that Mr Falkland but for the
disturbance and inflammation of his mind would be disposed to a similar
communication I shall interweave with Mr Collinss story various information
which I afterwards received from other quarters that I may give all possible
perspicuity to the series of events To avoid confusion in my narrative I shall
drop the person of Collins and assume to be myself the historian of our patron
To the reader it may appear at first sight as if this detail of the preceding
life of Mr Falkland were foreign to my history Alas I know from bitter
experience that it is otherwise My heart bleeds at the recollection of his
misfortunes as if they were my own How can it fail to do so To his story the
whole fortune of my life was linked because he was miserable my happiness my
name and my existence have been irretrievably blasted
Chapter II
Among the favourite authors of his early years were the heroic poets of Italy
From them he imbibed the love of chivalry and romance He had too much good
sense to regret the times of Charlemagne and Arthur But while his imagination
was purged by a certain infusion of philosophy he conceived that there was in
the manners depicted by these celebrated poets something to imitate as well as
something to avoid He believed that nothing was so well calculated to make men
delicate gallant and humane as a temper perpetually alive to the sentiments of
birth and honour The opinions he entertained upon these topics were illustrated
in his conduct which was assiduously conformed to the model of heroism that his
fancy suggested
With these sentiments he set out upon his travels at the age at which the
grand tour is usually made and they were rather confirmed than shaken by the
adventures that befel him By inclination he was led to make his longest stay in
Italy and here he fell into company with several young noblemen whose studies
and principles were congenial to his own By them he was assiduously courted and
treated with the most distinguished applause They were delighted to meet with a
foreigner who had imbibed all the peculiarities of the most liberal and
honourable among themselves Nor was he less favoured and admired by the softer
sex Though his stature was small his person had an air of uncommon dignity
His dignity was then heightened by certain additions which were afterwards
obliterated an expression of frankness ingenuity and unreserve and a spirit
of the most ardent enthusiasm Perhaps no Englishman was ever in an equal degree
idolised by the inhabitants of Italy
It was not possible for him to have drunk so deeply of the fountain of
chivalry without being engaged occasionally in affairs of honour all of which
were terminated in a manner that would not have disgraced the chevalier Bayard
himself In Italy the young men of rank divide themselves into two classes
those who adhere to the pure principles of ancient gallantry and those who
being actuated by the same acute sense of injury and insult accustom themselves
to the employment of hired bravoes as their instruments of vengeance The whole
difference indeed consists in the precarious application of a generally received
distinction The most generous Italian conceives that there are certain persons
whom it would be contamination for him to call into the open field He
nevertheless believes that an indignity cannot be expiated but with blood and
is persuaded that the life of a man is a trifling consideration in comparison of
the indemnification to be made to his injured honour There is therefore
scarcely any Italian that would upon some occasions scruple assassination Men
of spirit among them notwithstanding the prejudices of their education cannot
fail to have a secret conviction of its baseness and will be desirous of
extending as far as possible the cartel of honour Real or affected arrogance
teaches others to regard almost the whole species as their inferiors and of
consequence incites them to gratify their vengeance without danger to their
persons Mr Falkland met with some of these But his undaunted spirit and
resolute temper gave him a decisive advantage even in such perilous rencounters
One instance among many of his manner of conducting himself among this proud and
high spirited people it may be proper to relate Mr Falkland is the principal
agent in my history and Mr Falkland in the autumn and decay of his vigour
such as I found him cannot be completely understood without a knowledge of his
previous character as it was in all the gloss of youth yet unassailed by
adversity and unbroken in upon by anguish or remorse
At Rome he was received with particular distinction at the house of marquis
Pisani who had an only daughter the heir of his immense fortune and the
admiration of all the young nobility of that metropolis Lady Lucretia Pisani
was tall of a dignified form and uncommonly beautiful She was not deficient in
amiable qualities but her soul was haughty and her carriage not unfrequently
contemptuous Her pride was nourished by the consciousness of her charms by her
elevated rank and the universal adoration she was accustomed to receive
Among her numerous lovers count Malvesi was the individual most favoured by
her father nor did his addresses seem indifferent to her The count was a man
of considerable accomplishments and of great integrity and benevolence of
disposition But he was too ardent a lover to be able always to preserve the
affability of his temper The admirers whose addresses were a source of
gratification to his mistress were a perpetual uneasiness to him Placing his
whole happiness in the possession of this imperious beauty the most trifling
circumstances were capable of alarming him for the security of his pretensions
But most of all he was jealous of the English cavalier Marquis Pisani who had
spent many years in France was by no means partial to the suspicious
precautions of Italian fathers and indulged his daughter in considerable
freedoms His house and his daughter within certain judicious restraints were
open to the resort of male visitants But above all Mr Falkland as a
foreigner and a person little likely to form pretensions to the hand of
Lucretia was received upon a footing of great familiarity The lady herself
conscious of her innocence entertained no scruple about trifles and acted with
the confidence and frankness of one who is superior to suspicion
Mr Falkland after a residence of several weeks at Rome proceeded to
Naples Mean while certain incidents occurred that delayed the intended nuptials
of the heiress of Pisani When he returned to Rome count Malvesi was absent
Lady Lucretia who had been considerably amused before with the conversation of
Mr Falkland and who had an active and enquiring mind had conceived in the
interval between his first and second residence at Rome a desire to be
acquainted with the English language inspired by the lively and ardent
encomiums of our best authors that she had heard from their countryman She had
provided herself with the usual materials for that purpose and made some
progress during his absence But upon his return she was forward to make use of
the opportunity which if missed might never occur again with equal advantage
of reading select passages of our poets in company with an Englishman of
uncommon taste and capacity
This proposal necessarily led to a more frequent intercourse When count
Malvesi returned he found Mr Falkland established almost as an inmate of the
Pisani palace His mind could not fail to be struck with the criticalness of the
situation He was perhaps secretly conscious that the qualifications of the
Englishman were superior to his own and he trembled for the progress that each
party might have made in the affection of the other even before they were aware
of the danger He believed that the match was in every respect such as to
flatter the ambition of Mr Falkland and he was stung even to madness by the
idea of being deprived of the object dearest to his heart by this tramontane
upstart
He had however a sufficient share of discretion first to demand an
explanation of lady Lucretia She in the gaiety of her heart trifled with his
anxiety His patience was already exhausted and he proceeded in his
expostulation in language that she was by no means prepared to endure with
apathy Lady Lucretia had always been accustomed to deference and submission
and having got over something like terror that was at first inspired by the
imperious manner in which she was now catechised her next feeling was that of
the warmest resentment She disdained to satisfy so insolent a questioner and
even indulged herself in certain oblique hints calculated to strengthen his
suspicions For some time she described his folly and presumption in terms of
the most ludicrous sarcasm and then suddenly changing her style bid him never
let her see him more except upon a footing of the most distant acquaintance as
she was determined never again to subject herself to so unworthy a treatment
She was happy that he had at length disclosed to her his true character and
would know how to profit of her present experience to avoid a repetition of the
same danger All this passed in the full career of passion on both sides and
lady Lucretia had no time to reflect upon what might be the consequence of thus
exasperating her lover
Count Malvesi left her in all the torments of frenzy He believed that this
was a premeditated scene to find a pretence for breaking off an engagement that
was already all but concluded or rather his mind was racked with a thousand
conjectures he alternately thought that the injustice might be hers or his own
and he quarrelled with lady Lucretia himself and the whole world In this
temper he hastened to the hotel of the English cavalier The season of
expostulation was now over and he found himself irresistibly impelled to
justify his precipitation with the lady by taking for granted that the subject
of his suspicion was beyond the reach of doubt
Mr Falkland was at home The first words of the count were an abrupt
accusation of duplicity in the affair of lady Lucretia and a challenge The
Englishman had an unaffected esteem for Malvesi who was in reality a man of
considerable merit and who had been one of Mr Falklands earliest Italian
acquaintance they having originally met at Milan But more than this the
possible consequence of a duel in the present instance burst upon his mind He
had the warmest admiration for lady Lucretia though his feelings were not those
of a lover and he knew that however her haughtiness might endeavour to
disguise it she was impressed with a tender regard for count Malvesi He could
not bear to think that any misconduct of his should interrupt the prospects of
so deserving a pair Guided by these sentiments he endeavoured to expostulate
with the Italian But all his attempts were ineffectual His antagonist was
drunk with choler and would not listen to a word that tended to check the
impetuosity of his thoughts He traversed the room with perturbed steps and
even foamed with anguish and fury Mr Falkland finding that all was to no
purpose told the count that if he would return tomorrow at the same hour he
would attend him to any scene of action he should think proper to select
From count Malvesi Mr Falkland immediately proceeded to the palace of
Pisani Here he found considerable difficulty in appeasing the indignation of
lady Lucretia His ideas of honour would by no means allow him to win her to his
purpose by disclosing the cartel he had received otherwise that disclosure
would immediately have operated as the strongest motive that could have been
offered to this disdainful beauty But though she dreaded such an event the
vague apprehension was not strong enough to induce her instantly to surrender
all the stateliness of her resentment Mr Falkland however drew so interesting
a picture of the disturbance of count Malvesis mind and accounted in so
flattering a manner for the abruptness of his conduct that this together with
the arguments he adduced completed the conquest of lady Lucretias resentment
Having thus far accomplished his purpose he proceeded to disclose to her every
thing that had passed
The next day count Malvesi appeared punctual to his appointment at Mr
Falklands hotel Mr Falkland came to the door to receive him but requested
him to enter the house for a moment as he had still an affair of three minutes
to dispatch They proceeded to a parlour Here Mr Falkland left him and
presently returned leading in lady Lucretia herself adorned in all her charms
and those charms heightened upon the present occasion by a consciousness of the
spirited and generous condescension she was exerting Mr Falkland led her up to
the astonished count and she gently laying her hand upon the arm of her lover
exclaimed with the most attractive grace Will you allow me to retract the
precipitate haughtiness into which I was betrayed The enraptured count
scarcely able to believe his senses threw himself upon his knees before her
and stammered out his reply signifying that the precipitation had been all his
own that he only had any forgiveness to demand and though they might pardon
he could never pardon himself for the sacrilege he had committed against her and
this godlike Englishman As soon as the first tumults of his joy had subsided
Mr Falkland addressed him thus
»Count Malvesi I feel the utmost pleasure in having thus by peaceful means
disarmed your resentment and effected your happiness But I must confess you
put me to a severe trial My temper is not less impetuous and fiery than your
own and it is not at all times that I should have been thus able to subdue it
But I considered that in reality the original blame was mine Though your
suspicion was groundless it was not absurd We have been trifling too much in
the face of danger I ought not under the present weakness of our nature and
forms of society to have been so assiduous in my attendance upon this
enchanting woman It would have been little wonder if having so many
opportunities and playing the preceptor with her as I have done I had been
entangled before I was aware and harboured a wish which I might not afterwards
have had courage to subdue I owed you an atonement for this imprudence
But the laws of honour are in the utmost degree rigid and there was reason
to fear that however anxious I were to be your friend I might be obliged to be
your murderer Fortunately the reputation of my courage is sufficiently
established not to expose it to any impeachment by my declining your present
defiance It was lucky however that in our interview of yesterday you found me
alone and that accident by that means threw the management of the affair into
my disposal If the transaction should become known the conclusion will now
become known along with the provocation and I am satisfied But if the
challenge had been public the proofs I had formerly given of courage would not
have excused my present moderation and though desirous to have avoided the
combat it would not have been in my power Let us hence each of us learn to
avoid haste and indiscretion the consequences of which may be inexpiable but
with blood and may heaven bless you in a consort of whom I deem you every way
worthy«
I have already said that this was by no means the only instance in the
course of his travels in which Mr Falkland acquitted himself in the most
brilliant manner as a man of gallantry and virtue He continued abroad during
several years every one of which brought some fresh accession to the estimation
in which he was held as well as to his own impatience of stain or dishonour At
length he thought proper to return to England with the intention of spending
the rest of his days at the residence of his ancestors
Chapter III
From the moment he entered upon the execution of this purpose dictated as it
probably was by an unaffected principle of duty his misfortunes took their
commencement All I have farther to state of his history is the uninterrupted
persecution of a malignant destiny a series of adventures that seemed to take
their rise in various accidents but pointing to one termination Him they
overwhelmed with an anguish he was of all others least qualified to bear and
these waters of bitterness extending beyond him poured their deadly venom upon
others I being myself the most unfortunate of their victims
The person in whom these calamities originated was Mr Falklands nearest
neighbour a man of estate equal to his own by name Barnabas Tyrrel This man
one might at first have supposed of all others least qualified from instruction
or inclined by the habits of his life to disturb the enjoyments of a mind so
richly endowed as that of Mr Falkland Mr Tyrrel might have passed for a true
model of the English squire He was early left under the tuition of his mother
a woman of narrow capacity and who had no other child The only remaining
member of the family it may be necessary to notice was miss Emily Melvile the
orphan daughter of Mr Tyrrels paternal aunt who now resided in the family
mansion and was wholly dependent on the benevolence of its proprietors Mrs
Tyrrel appeared to think that there was nothing in the world so precious as her
hopeful Barnabas Every thing must give way to his accommodation and advantage
every one must yield the most servile obedience to his commands He must not be
teased or restricted by any forms of instruction and of consequence his
proficiency even in the arts of writing and reading was extremely slender From
his birth he was muscular and sturdy and confined to the ruelle of his mother
he made much such a figure as the whelplion that a barbarian might have given
for a lapdog to his mistress But he soon broke loose from these trammels and
formed an acquaintance with the groom and the gamekeeper Under their
instruction he proved as ready a scholar as he had been indocile and restive to
the pedant who held the office of his tutor It was now evident that his small
proficiency in literature was by no means to be ascribed to want of capacity He
discovered no contemptible sagacity and quickwittedness in the science of
horseflesh and was eminently expert in the arts of shooting fishing and
hunting Nor did he confine himself to these but added the theory and practice
of boxing cudgelplay and quarterstaff These exercises added tenfold
robustness and vigour to his former qualifications His stature when grown was
somewhat more than five feet ten inches in height and his form might have been
selected by a painter as a model for that hero of antiquity whose prowess
consisted in felling an ox with his fist and devouring him at a meal Conscious
of his advantage in this respect he was insupportably arrogant tyrannical to
his inferiors and insolent to his equals The activity of his mind being
diverted from the genuine field of utility and distinction showed itself in the
rude tricks of an overgrown lubber Here as in all his other qualifications he
rose above his competitors and if it had been possible to overlook the callous
and unrelenting disposition which they manifested one could scarcely have
denied his applause to the invention these freaks displayed and the rough
sarcastic wit with which they were accompanied
Mr Tyrrel was by no means inclined to permit these extraordinary merits to
rust in oblivion There was a weekly assembly at the nearest markettown the
resort of all the rural gentry Here he had hitherto figured to the greatest
advantage as grand master of the cotérie no one having an equal share of
opulence and the majority though still pretending to the rank of gentry
greatly his inferior in this essential article The young men in this circle
looked up to this insolent bashaw with timid respect conscious of the
comparative eminence that unquestionably belonged to the powers of his mind and
he well knew how to maintain his rank with an inflexible hand Frequently indeed
he relaxed his features and assumed a temporary appearance of affableness and
familiarity but they found by experience that if any one encouraged by his
condescension forgot the deference which Mr Tyrrel considered as his due he
was soon taught to repent his presumption It was a tyger that thought proper to
toy with a mouse the little animal every moment in danger of being crushed by
the fangs of his ferocious associate As Mr Tyrrel had considerable copiousness
of speech and a rich but undisciplined imagination he was always sure of an
audience His neighbours crowded round and joined in the ready laugh partly
from obsequiousness and partly from unfeigned admiration It frequently
happened however that in the midst of his good humour a characteristic
refinement of tyranny would suggest itself to his mind When his subjects
encouraged by his familiarity had discarded their precaution the wayward fit
would seize him a sudden cloud overspread his brow his voice transform from
the pleasant to the terrible and a quarrel of a straw immediately ensue with
the first man whose face he did not like The pleasure that resulted to others
from the exuberant sallies of his imagination was therefore not unalloyed with
sudden qualms of apprehension and terror It may be believed that this despotism
did not gain its final ascendancy without being contested in the outset But all
opposition had been quelled with a high hand by this rural Antæus By the
ascendancy of his fortune and his character among his neighbours he always
reduced his adversary to the necessity of encountering him at his own weapons
and did not dismiss him without making him feel his presumption through every
joint in his frame The tyranny of Mr Tyrrel would not have been so patiently
endured had not his colloquial accomplishments perpetually come in aid of that
authority which his rank and prowess originally obtained
The situation of our squire with the fair was still more enviable than that
which he maintained among persons of his own sex Every mother taught her
daughter to consider the hand of Mr Tyrrel as the highest object of her
ambition Every daughter regarded his athletic form and his acknowledged prowess
with a favourable eye A form eminently athletic is perhaps always well
proportioned and one of the qualifications that women are early taught to look
for in the male sex is that of a protector As no man was adventurous enough to
contest his superiority so scarcely any woman in this provincial circle would
have scrupled to prefer his addresses to those of any other admirer His
boisterous wit had peculiar charms for them and there was no spectacle more
flattering to their vanity than seeing this Hercules exchange his club for a
distaff It was pleasing to them to consider that the fangs of this wild beast
the very idea of which inspired trepidation into the boldest hearts might be
played with by them with the utmost security
Such was the rival that fortune in her caprice had reserved for the
accomplished Falkland This untamed though not undiscerning brute was found
capable of destroying the prospects of a man the most eminently qualified to
enjoy and to communicate happiness The feud that sprung up between them was
nourished by concurring circumstances till it attained a magnitude difficult to
be paralleled and because they regarded each other with a deadly hatred I
have become an object of misery and abhorrence
The arrival of Mr Falkland gave an alarming shock to the authority of Mr
Tyrrel in the village assembly and in all scenes of indiscriminate resort His
disposition by no means inclined him to withhold himself from scenes of
fashionable amusement and he and his competitor were like two stars fated never
to appear at once above the horizon The advantages Mr Falkland possessed in
the comparison are palpable and had it been otherwise the subjects of his
rural neighbour were sufficiently disposed to revolt against his merciless
dominion They had hitherto submitted from fear not from love and if they had
not rebelled it was only for want of a leader Even the ladies regarded Mr
Falkland with particular complacence His polished manners were particularly in
harmony with feminine delicacy The sallies of his wit were far beyond those of
Mr Tyrrel in variety and vigour in addition to which they had the advantage of
having their spontaneous exuberance guided and restrained by the sagacity of a
cultivated mind The graces of his person were enhanced by the elegance of his
deportment and the benevolence and liberality of his temper were upon all
occasions conspicuous It was common indeed to Mr Tyrrel together with Mr
Falkland to be little accessible to sentiments of awkwardness and confusion But
for this Mr Tyrrel was indebted to a selfsatisfied effrontery and a boisterous
and overbearing elocution by which he was accustomed to discomfit his
assailants while Mr Falkland with great ingenuity and candour of mind was
enabled by his extensive knowledge of the world and acquaintance with his own
resources to perceive almost instantaneously the proceeding it most became him
to adopt
Mr Tyrrel contemplated the progress of his rival with uneasiness and
aversion He often commented upon it to his particular confidents as a thing
altogether inconceivable Mr Falkland he described as an animal that was
beneath contempt Diminutive and dwarfish in his form he wanted to set up a new
standard of human nature adapted to his miserable condition He wished to
persuade people that the human species were made to be nailed to a chair and to
pore over books He would have them exchange those robust exercises which made
us joyous in the performance and vigorous in the consequences for the wise
labour of scratching our heads for a rhyme and counting our fingers for a verse
Monkeys were as good men as these A nation of such animals would have no chance
with a single regiment of the old English votaries of beef and pudding He never
saw any thing come of learning but to make people foppish and impertinent and a
sensible man would not wish a worse calamity to the enemies of his nation than
to see them run mad after such pernicious absurdities It was impossible that
people could seriously feel any liking for such a ridiculous piece of goods as
this outlandish foreignmade Englishman But he knew very well how it was it
was a miserable piece of mummery that was played only in spite to him But God
for ever blast his soul if he were not bitterly revenged upon them all
If such were the sentiments of Mr Tyrrel his patience found ample exercise
in the language which was held by the rest of his neighbours on the same
subject While he saw nothing in Mr Falkland but matter for contempt they
appeared to be never weary of recounting his praises Such dignity such
affability so perpetual an attention to the happiness of others such delicacy
of sentiment and expression Learned without ostentation refined without
foppery elegant without effeminacy Perpetually anxious to prevent his
superiority from being painfully felt it was so much the more certainly felt to
be real and excited congratulation instead of envy in the spectator It is
scarcely necessary to remark that the revolution of sentiment in this rural
vicinity belongs to one of the most obvious features of the human mind The
rudest exhibition of art is at first admired till a nobler is presented and we
are taught to wonder at the facility with which before we had been satisfied
Mr Tyrrel thought there would be no end to the commendation and expected when
their common acquaintance would fall down and adore the intruder The most
inadvertent expression of applause inflicted upon him the torment of demons He
writhed with agony his features became distorted and his looks inspired
terror Such suffering would probably have soured the kindest temper what must
have been its effect upon Mr Tyrrels always fierce unrelenting and abrupt
The advantages of Mr Falkland seemed by no means to diminish with their
novelty Every new sufferer from Mr Tyrrels tyranny immediately went over to
the standard of his adversary The ladies though treated by their rustic swain
with more gentleness than the men were occasionally exposed to his
capriciousness and insolence They could not help remarking the contrast between
these two leaders in the fields of chivalry the one of whom paid no attention
to any ones pleasure but his own while the other seemed all good humour and
benevolence It was in vain that Mr Tyrrel endeavoured to restrain the
ruggedness of his character His motive was impatience his thoughts were
gloomy and his courtship was like the pawings of an elephant It appeared as if
his temper had been more human while he indulged it in its free bent than now
that he sullenly endeavoured to put fetters upon its excesses
Among the ladies of the village assembly already mentioned there was none
that seemed to engage more of the kindness of Mr Tyrrel than miss Hardingham
She was also one of the few that had not yet gone over to the enemy either
because she really preferred the gentleman who was her oldest acquaintance or
that she conceived from calculation this conduct best adapted to insure her
success in a husband One day however she thought proper probably only by way
of experiment to show Mr Tyrrel that she could engage in hostilities if he
should at any time give her sufficient provocation She so adjusted her
manoeuvres as to be engaged by Mr Falkland as his partner for the dance of the
evening though without the smallest intention on the part of that gentleman
who was unpardonably deficient in the sciences of anecdote and matchmaking of
giving offence to his country neighbour Though the manners of Mr Falkland were
condescending and attentive his hours of retirement were principally occupied
in contemplations too dignified for scandal and too large for the altercations
of a vestry or the politics of an electionborough
A short time before the dances began Mr Tyrrel went up to his fair
inamorata and entered into some trifling conversation with her to fill up the
time as intending in a few minutes to lead her forward to the field He had
accustomed himself to neglect the ceremony of soliciting beforehand a promise in
his favour as not supposing it possible that any one should dare dispute his
behests and had it been otherwise he would have thought the formality
unnecessary in this case his general preference to miss Hardingham being
notorious
While he was thus engaged Mr Falkland came up Mr Tyrrel always regarded
him with aversion and loathing Mr Falkland however slided in a graceful and
unaffected manner into the conversation already begun and the animated
ingenuousness of his manner was such as might for the time have disarmed the
devil of his malice Mr Tyrrel probably conceived that his accosting miss
Hardingham was an accidental piece of general ceremony and expected every
moment when he would withdraw to another part of the room
The company now began to be in motion for the dance and Mr Falkland
signified as much to miss Hardingham Sir interrupted Mr Tyrrel abruptly
that lady is my partner I believe not sir that lady has been so obliging as
to accept my invitation I tell you sir no Sir I have an interest in that
ladys affections and I will suffer no man to intrude upon my claims The
ladys affections are not the subject of the present question Sir it is to
no purpose to parley Make room sir Mr Falkland gently repelled his
antagonist Mr Tyrrel returned he with some firmness let us have no
altercation in this business the master of the ceremonies is the proper person
to decide in a difference of this sort if we cannot adjust it we can neither
of us intend to exhibit our valour before the ladies and shall therefore
chearfully submit to his verdict Damn me sir if I understand Softly Mr
Tyrrel I intended you no offence But sir no man shall prevent my asserting
that to which I have once acquired a claim
Mr Falkland uttered these words with the most unruffled temper in the
world The tone in which he spoke had acquired elevation but neither roughness
nor impatience There was a fascination in his manner that made the
ferociousness of his antagonist subside into impotence Miss Hardingham had
begun to repent of her experiment but her alarm was speedily quieted by the
dignified composure of her new partner Mr Tyrrel walked away without answering
a word He muttered curses as he went which the laws of honour did not oblige
Mr Falkland to overhear and which indeed it would have been no easy task to
have overheard with accuracy Mr Tyrrel would not perhaps have so easily given
up his point had not his own good sense presently taught him that however
eager he might be for revenge this was not the ground he should desire to
occupy But though he could not openly resent this rebellion against his
authority he brooded over it in the recesses of a malignant mind and it was
evident enough that he was accumulating materials for a bitter account to which
he trusted his adversary should one day be brought
Chapter IV
This was only one out of innumerable instances that every day seemed to
multiply of petty mortifications which Mr Tyrrel was destined to endure on the
part of Mr Falkland In all of them Mr Falkland conducted himself with such
unaffected propriety as perpetually to add to the stock of his reputation The
more Mr Tyrrel struggled with his misfortune the more conspicuous and
inveterate it became A thousand times he cursed his stars which took as he
apprehended a malicious pleasure in making Mr Falkland at every turn the
instrument of his humiliation Smarting under a succession of untoward events
he appeared to feel in the most exquisite manner the distinctions paid to his
adversary even in those points in which he had not the slightest pretensions
An instance of this now occurred
Mr Clare a poet whose works have done immortal honour to the country that
produced him had lately retired after a life spent in the sublimest efforts of
genius to enjoy the produce of his economy and the reputation he had acquired
in this very neighbourhood Such an inmate was looked up to by the country
gentlemen with a degree of adoration They felt a conscious pride in
recollecting that the boast of England was a native of their vicinity and they
were by no means deficient in gratitude when they saw him who had left them an
adventurer return into the midst of them in the close of his days crowned with
honours and opulence The reader is acquainted with his works he has probably
dwelt upon them with transport and I need not remind him of their excellence
But he is perhaps a stranger to his personal qualifications He does not know
that his productions were scarcely more admirable than his conversation In
company he seemed to be the only person ignorant of the greatness of his fame
To the world his writings will long remain a kind of specimen of what the human
mind is capable of performing but no man perceived their defects so acutely as
he or saw so distinctly how much yet remained to be effected He alone appeared
to look upon his works with superiority and indifference One of the features
that most eminently distinguished him was a perpetual suavity of manners a
comprehensiveness of mind that regarded the errors of others without a particle
of resentment and made it impossible for any one to be his enemy He pointed
out to men their mistakes with frankness and unreserve his remonstrances
produced astonishment and conviction but without uneasiness in the party to
whom they were addressed they felt the instrument that was employed to correct
their irregularities but it never mangled what it was intended to heal Such
were the moral qualities that distinguished him among his acquaintance The
intellectual accomplishments he exhibited were principally a tranquil and mild
enthusiasm and a richness of conception which dictated spontaneously to his
tongue and flowed with so much ease that it was only by retrospect you could
be made aware of the amazing variety of ideas that had been presented
Mr Clare certainly found few men in this remote situation that were capable
of participating in his ideas and amusements It has not seldom been among the
weaknesses of great men to fly to solitude and converse with woods and groves
rather than with a circle of strong and comprehensive minds like their own From
the moment of Mr Falklands arrival in the neighbourhood Mr Clare
distinguished him in the most flattering manner To so penetrating a genius
there was no need of long experience and patient observation to discover the
merits and defects of any character that presented itself The materials of his
judgment had long since been accumulated and at the close of so illustrious a
life he might almost be said to see through nature at a glance What wonder that
he took some interest in a mind in a certain degree congenial with his own But
to Mr Tyrrels diseased imagination every distinction bestowed on his neighbour
seemed to be expressly intended as an insult to him On the other hand Mr
Clare though gentle and benevolent in his remonstrances to a degree that made
the taking offence impossible was by no means parsimonious of praise or slow
to make use of the deference that was paid him for the purpose of procuring
justice to merit
It happened at one of those public meetings at which Mr Falkland and Mr
Tyrrel were present that the conversation in one of the most numerous sets
into which the company was broken turned upon the poetical talents of the
former A lady who was present and was distinguished for the acuteness of her
understanding said she had been favoured with the sight of a poem he had just
written entitled an Ode to the Genius of Chivalry which appeared to her of
exquisite merit The curiosity of the company was immediately excited and the
lady added she had a copy in her pocket which was much at their service
provided its being thus produced would not be disagreeable to the author The
whole circle immediately intreated Mr Falkland to comply with their wishes and
Mr Clare who was one of the company inforced their petition Nothing gave
this gentleman so much pleasure as to have an opportunity of witnessing and
doing justice to the exhibition of intellectual excellence Mr Falkland had no
false modesty or affectation and therefore readily yielded his consent
Mr Tyrrel accidentally sat at the extremity of this circle It cannot be
supposed that the turn the conversation had taken was by any means agreeable to
him He appeared to wish to withdraw himself but there seemed to be some
unknown power that as it were by enchantment retained him in his place and made
him consent to drink to the dregs the bitter potion which envy had prepared for
him
The poem was read to the rest of the company by Mr Clare whose elocution
was scarcely inferior to his other accomplishments Simplicity discrimination
and energy constantly attended him in the act of reading and it is not easy to
conceive a more refined delight than fell to the lot of those who had the good
fortune to be his auditors The beauties of Mr Falklands poem were accordingly
exhibited with every advantage The successive passions of the author were
communicated to the hearer What was impetuous and what was solemn were
delivered with a responsive feeling and a flowing and unlaboured tone The
pictures conjured up by the creative fancy of the poet were placed full to view
at one time overwhelming the soul with superstitious awe and at another
transporting it with luxuriant beauty
The character of the hearers upon this occasion has already been described
They were for the most part plain unlettered and of little refinement Poetry
in general they read when read at all from the mere force of imitation and
with few sensations of pleasure but this poem had a peculiar vein of glowing
inspiration This very poem would probably have been seen by many of them with
little effect but the accents of Mr Clare carried it home to the heart He
ended and as the countenances of his auditors had before sympathised with the
passions of the composition so now they emulated each other in declaring their
approbation Their sensations were of a sort to which they were little
accustomed One spoke and another followed by a sort of uncontrolable impulse
and the rude and broken manner of their commendations rendered them the more
singular and remarkable But what was least to be endured was the behaviour of
Mr Clare He returned the manuscript to the lady from whom he had received it
and then addressing Mr Falkland said with emphasis and animation Ha this is
as it should be It is of the right stamp I have seen too many hard essays
strained from the labour of a pedant and pastoral ditties distressed in lack of
a meaning They are such as you sir that we want Do not forget however that
the muse was not given to add refinements to idleness but for the highest and
most invaluable purposes Act up to the magnitude of your destiny
A moment after Mr Clare quitted his seat and with Mr Falkland and two or
three more withdrew As soon as they were gone Mr Tyrrel edged farther into
the circle He had sat silent so long that he seemed ready to burst with gall
and indignation Mighty pretty verses said he half talking to himself and not
addressing any particular person why aye the verses are well enough
Damnation I should like to know what a shipload of such stuff is good for
Why surely said the lady who had introduced Mr Falklands ode on the
present occasion you must allow that poetry is an agreeable and elegant
amusement
Elegant quotha Why look at this Falkland A puny bit of a thing! In the
devils name madam do you think he would write poetry if he could do any thing
better
The conversation did not stop here The lady expostulated Several other
persons fresh from the sensation they had felt contributed their share Mr
Tyrrel grew more violent in his invectives and found ease in uttering them The
persons who were able in any degree to check his vehemence were withdrawn One
speaker after another shrunk back into silence too timid to oppose or too
indolent to contend with the fierceness of his passion He found the appearance
of his old ascendancy but he felt its deceitfulness and uncertainty and was
gloomily dissatisfied
In his return from this assembly he was accompanied by a young man whom
similitude of manners had rendered one of his principal confidents and whose
road home was in part the same as his own One might have thought that Mr
Tyrrel had sufficiently vented his spleen in the dialogue he had just been
holding But he was unable to dismiss from his recollection the anguish he had
endured Damn Falkland said he What a pitiful scoundrel is here to make all
this bustle about But women and fools always will be fools there is no help
for that Those that set them on have most to answer for and most of all Mr
Clare He is a man that ought to know something of the world and past being
duped by gewgaws and tinsel He seemed too to have some notion of things I
should not have suspected him of hallooing to a cry of mongrels without honesty
or reason But the world is all alike Those that seem better than their
neighbours are only more artful They mean the same thing though they take a
different road He deceived me for a while but it is all out now They are the
makers of the mischief Fools might blunder but they would not persist if
people that ought to set them right did not encourage them to go wrong
A few days after this adventure Mr Tyrrel was surprised to receive a visit
from Mr Falkland Mr Falkland proceeded without ceremony to explain the motive
of his coming
Mr Tyrrel said he I am come to have an amicable explanation with you
Explanation What is my offence
None in the world sir and for that reason I conceive this the fittest time
to come to a right understanding
You are in the devil of a hurry sir Are you clear that this haste will not
mar instead of make an understanding
I think I am sir I have great faith in the purity of my intentions and I
will not doubt when you perceive the view with which I come that you will
willingly cooperate with it
Mayhap Mr Falkland we may not agree about that One man thinks one way
and another man thinks another Mayhap I do not think I have any great reason to
be pleased with you already
It may be so I cannot however charge myself with having given you reason to
be displeased
Well sir you have no right to put me out of humour with myself If you
come to play upon me and try what sort of a fellow you shall have to deal with
damn me if you shall have any reason to hug yourself upon the experiment
Nothing sir is more easy for us than to quarrel If you desire that there
is no fear that you will find opportunities
Damn me sir if I do not believe you are come to bully me
Mr Tyrrel sir have a care
Of what sir Do you threaten me Damn my soul who are you what do you
come here for
The fieriness of Mr Tyrrel brought Mr Falkland to his recollection
I am wrong said he I confess it I came for purposes of peace With that
view I have taken the liberty to visit you Whatever therefore might be my
feelings upon another occasion I am bound to suppress them now
Ho Well sir and what have you further to offer
Mr Tyrrel proceeded Mr Falkland you will readily imagine that the cause
that brought me was not a slight one I would not have troubled you with a visit
but for important reasons My coming is a pledge how deeply I am myself
impressed with what I have to communicate
We are in a critical situation We are upon the brink of a whirlpool which
if once it get hold of us will render all farther deliberation impotent An
unfortunate jealousy seems to have insinuated itself between us which I would
willingly remove and I come to ask your assistance We are both of us nice of
temper we are both apt to kindle and warm of resentment Precaution in this
stage can be dishonourable to neither the time may come when we shall wish we
had employed it and find it too late Why should we be enemies Our tastes are
different our pursuits need not interfere We both of us amply possess the
means of happiness we may be respected by all and spend a long life of
tranquillity and enjoyment Will it be wise in us to exchange this prospect for
the fruits of strife A strife between persons with our peculiarities and our
weaknesses includes consequences that I shudder to think of I fear sir that
it is pregnant with death at least to one of us and with misfortune and remorse
to the survivor
Upon my soul you are a strange man Why trouble me with your prophecies and
forebodings
Because it is necessary to your happiness Because it becomes me to tell you
of our danger now rather than wait till my character will allow this
tranquillity no longer
By quarrelling we shall but imitate the great mass of mankind who could
easily quarrel in our place Let us do better Let us show that we have the
magnanimity to contemn petty misunderstandings By thus judging we shall do
ourselves most substantial honour By a contrary conduct we shall merely present
a comedy for the amusement of our acquaintance
Do you think so There may be something in that Damn me if I consent to be
the jest of any man living
You are right Mr Tyrrel Let us each act in the manner best calculated to
excite respect We neither of us wish to change roads let us each suffer the
other to pursue his own track unmolested Be this our compact and by mutual
forbearance let us preserve mutual peace
Saying this Mr Falkland offered his hand to Mr Tyrrel in token of
fellowship But the gesture was too significant The wayward rustic who seemed
to have been somewhat impressed by what had preceded taken as he was by
surprise shrunk back Mr Falkland was again ready to take fire upon this new
slight but he checked himself
All this is very unaccountable cried Mr Tyrrel What the devil can have
made you so forward if you had not some sly purpose to answer by which I am to
be overreached
My purpose replied Mr Falkland is a manly and an honest purpose Why
should you refuse a proposition dictated by reason and an equal regard to the
interest of each Mr Tyrrel had had an opportunity for pause and fell back
into his habitual character
Well sir in all this I must own there is some frankness Now I will return
you like for like It is no matter how I came by it my temper is rough and
will not be controled Mayhap you may think it is a weakness but I do not
desire to see it altered Till you came I found myself very well I liked my
neighbours and my neighbours humoured me But now the case is entirely altered
and as long as I cannot stir abroad without meeting with some mortification in
which you are directly or remotely concerned I am determined to hate you Now
sir if you will only go out of the county or the kingdom to the devil if you
please so as I may never hear of you any more I will promise never to quarrel
with you as long as I live Your rhymes and your rebusses your quirks and your
conundrums may then be every thing that is grand for what I care
Mr Tyrrel be reasonable Might not I as well desire you to leave the
county as you desire me I come to you not as to a master but an equal In
the society of men we must have something to endure as well as to enjoy No man
must think that the world was made for him Let us take things as we find them
and accommodate ourselves as we can to unavoidable circumstances
True sir all this is fine talking But I return to my text we are as God
made us I am neither a philosopher nor a poet to set out upon a wildgoose
chase of making myself a different man from what you find me As for
consequences what must be must be As we brew we must bake And so do you
see I shall not trouble myself about what is to be but stand up to it with a
stout heart when it comes Only this I can tell you that as long as I find you
thrust into my dish every day I shall hate you as bad as senna and valerian
And damn me if I do not think I hate you the more for coming today in this
pragmatical way when nobody sent for you on purpose to show how much wiser you
are than all the world besides
Mr Tyrrel I have done I foresaw consequences and came as a friend I had
hoped that by mutual explanation we should have come to a better understanding
I am disappointed but perhaps when you coolly reflect on what has passed you
will give me credit for my intentions and think that my proposal was not an
unreasonable one
Having said this Mr Falkland departed Through the interview he no doubt
conducted himself in a way that did him peculiar credit Yet the warmth of his
temper could not be entirely suppressed and even when he was most exemplary
there was an apparent loftiness in his manner that was calculated to irritate
and the very grandeur with which he suppressed his passions operated indirectly
as a taunt to his opponent The interview was prompted by the noblest
sentiments but it unquestionably served to widen the breach it was intended to
heal
For Mr Tyrrel he had recourse to his old expedient and unburthened the
tumult of his thoughts to his confidential friend This cried he is a new
artifice of the fellow to prove his imagined superiority We knew well enough
that he had the gift of the gab To be sure if the world were to be governed by
words he would be in the right box Oh yes he had it all hollow But what
signifies prating Business must be done in an otherguess way than that I
wonder what possessed me that I did not kick him But that is all to come This
is only a new debt added to the score which he shall one day richly pay This
Falkland haunts me like a demon I cannot wake but I think of him I cannot
sleep but I see him He poisons all my pleasures I should be glad to see him
torn with tenterhooks and to grind his heartstrings with my teeth I shall
know no joy till I see him ruined There may be some things right about him
but he is my perpetual torment The thought of him hangs like a dead weight upon
my heart and I have a right to shake it off Does he think I will feel all that
I endure for nothing
In spite of the acerbity of Mr Tyrrels feelings it is probable however he
did some justice to his rival He regarded him indeed with added dislike but he
no longer regarded him as a despicable foe He avoided his encounter he forbore
to treat him with random hostility he seemed to lie in wait for his victim and
to collect his venom for a mortal assault
Chapter V
It was not long after that a malignant contagious distemper broke out in the
neighbourhood which proved fatal to many of the inhabitants and was of
unexampled rapidity in its effects One of the first persons that was seized
with it was Mr Clare It may be believed what grief and alarm this incident
spread through the vicinity Mr Clare was considered by them as something more
than mortal The equanimity of his behaviour his unassuming carriage his
exuberant benevolence and goodness of heart joined with his talents his
inoffensive wit and the comprehensiveness of his intelligence made him the idol
of all that knew him In the scene of his rural retreat at least he had no
enemy All mourned the danger that now threatened him He appeared to have had
the prospect of long life and of going down to his grave full of years and of
honour Perhaps these appearances were deceitful Perhaps the intellectual
efforts he had made which were occasionally more sudden violent and
unintermitted than a strict regard to health would have dictated had laid the
seed of future disease But a sanguine observer would infallibly have predicted
that his temperate habits activity of mind and unabated chearfulness would be
able even to keep death at bay for a time and baffle the attacks of distemper
provided their approach were not uncommonly rapid and violent The general
affliction therefore was doubly pungent upon the present occasion
But no one was so much affected as Mr Falkland Perhaps no man so well
understood the value of the life that was now at stake He immediately hastened
to the spot but he found some difficulty in gaining admission Mr Clare aware
of the infectious nature of his disease had given directions that as few people
as possible should approach him Mr Falkland sent up his name He was told that
he was included in the general orders He was not however of a temper to be
easily repulsed he persisted with obstinacy and at length carried his point
being only reminded in the first instance to employ those precautions which
experience has proved most effectual for counteracting infection
He found Mr Clare in his bedchamber but not in bed He was sitting in his
nightgown at a bureau near the window His appearance was composed and
chearful but death was in his countenance I had a great inclination Falkland
said he not to have suffered you to come in and yet there is not a person in
the world it could give me more pleasure to see But upon second thoughts I
believe there are few people that could run into a danger of this kind with a
better prospect of escaping In your case at least the garrison will not I
trust be taken through the treachery of the commander I cannot tell how it is
that I who can preach wisdom to you have myself been caught But do not be
discouraged by my example I had no notice of my danger or I would have
acquitted myself better
Mr Falkland having once established himself in the apartment of his
friend would upon no terms consent to retire Mr Clare considered that there
was perhaps less danger in this choice than in the frequent change from the
extremes of a pure to a tainted air and desisted from expostulation Falkland
said he when you came in I had just finished making my will I was not pleased
with what I had formerly drawn up upon that subject and I did not choose in my
present situation to call in an attorney In fact it would be strange if a man
of sense with pure and direct intentions should not be able to perform such a
function for himself
Mr Clare continued to act in the same easy and disengaged manner as in
perfect health To judge from the chearfulness of his tone and the firmness of
his manner the thought would never once have occurred that he was dying He
walked he reasoned he jested in a way that argued the most perfect
selfpossession But his appearance changed perceptibly for the worse every
quarter of an hour Mr Falkland kept his eye perpetually fixed upon him with
mingled sentiments of anxiety and admiration
Falkland said he after having appeared for a short period absorbed in
thought I feel that I am dying This is a strange distemper of mine Yesterday
I seemed in perfect health and tomorrow I shall be an insensible corpse How
curious is the line that separates life and death to mortal men To be at one
moment active gay penetrating with stores of knowledge at ones command
capable of delighting instructing and animating mankind and the next lifeless
and loathsome an incumbrance upon the face of the earth Such is the history of
many men and such will be mine
I feel as if I had yet much to do in the world but it will not be I must
be contented with what is past It is in vain that I muster all my spirits to my
heart The enemy is too mighty and too merciless for me he will not give me
time so much as to breathe These things are not yet at least in our power They
are parts of a great series that is perpetually flowing The general welfare
the great business of the universe will go on though I bear no farther share
in promoting it That task is reserved for younger strengths for you Falkland
and such as you We should be contemptible indeed if the prospect of human
improvement did not yield us a pure and perfect delight independently of the
question of our existing to partake of it Mankind would have little to envy to
future ages if they had all enjoyed a serenity as perfect as mine has been for
the latter half of my existence
Mr Clare sat up through the whole day indulging himself in easy and
chearful exertions which were perhaps better calculated to refresh and
invigorate the frame than if he had sought repose in its direct form Now and
then he was visited with a sudden pang but it was no sooner felt than he
seemed to rise above it and smiled at the impotence of these attacks They
might destroy him but they could not disturb Three or four times he was
bedewed with profuse sweats and these again were succeeded by an extreme
dryness and burning heat of the skin He was next covered with small livid
spots Symptoms of shivering followed but these he drove away with a determined
resolution He then became tranquil and composed and after some time decided to
go to bed it being already night Falkland said he pressing his hand the
task of dying is not so difficult as some imagine When one looks back from the
brink of it one wonders that so total a subversion can take place at so easy a
price
He had now been some time in bed and as every thing was still Mr
Falkland hoped that he slept But in that he was mistaken Presently Mr Clare
threw back the curtain and looked in the countenance of his friend I cannot
sleep said he No if I could sleep it would be the same thing as to recover
and I am destined to have the worst in this battle
Falkland I have been thinking about you I do not know any one whose future
usefulness I contemplate with greater hope Take care of yourself Do not let
the world be defrauded of your virtues I am acquainted with your weakness as
well as your strength You have an impetuosity and an impatience of imagined
dishonour that if once set wrong may make you as eminently mischievous as
you will otherwise be useful Think seriously of exterminating this error
But if I cannot in the brief expostulation my present situation will
allow produce this desirable change in you there is at least one thing I can
do I can put you upon your guard against a mischief I foresee to be imminent
Beware of Mr Tyrrel Do not commit the mistake of despising him as an unequal
opponent Petty causes may produce great mischiefs Mr Tyrrel is boisterous
rugged and unfeeling and you are too passionate too acutely sensible of
injury It would be truly to be lamented if a man so inferior so utterly
unworthy to be compared with you should be capable of changing your whole
history into misery and guilt I have a painful presentiment upon my heart as
if something dreadful would reach you from that quarter Think of this I exact
no promise from you I would not shackle you with the fetters of superstition I
would have you governed by reason and justice
Mr Falkland was deeply affected with this expostulation His sense of the
generous attention of Mr Clare at such a moment was so great as almost to
deprive him of utterance He spoke in short sentences and with visible effort I
will behave better replied he Never fear me Your admonitions shall not be
thrown away upon me
Mr Clare adverted to another subject I have made you my executor you will
not refuse me this last office of friendship It is but a short time that I have
had the happiness of knowing you but in that short time I have examined you
well and seen you thoroughly Do not disappoint the sanguine hope I have
entertained
I have left some legacies My former connections while I lived amidst the
busy haunts of men as many of them as were intimate are all of them dear to
me I have not had time to summon them about me upon the present occasion nor
did I desire it The remembrances of me will I hope answer a better purpose
than such as are usually thought of on similar occasions
Mr Clare having thus unburthened his mind spoke no more for several
hours Towards morning Mr Falkland quietly withdrew the curtain and looked at
the dying man His eyes were open and were now gently turned towards his young
friend His countenance was sunk and of a deathlike appearance I hope you are
better said Falkland in a halfwhisper as if afraid of disturbing him Mr
Clare drew his hand from the bedclothes and stretched it forward Mr Falkland
advanced and took hold of it Much better said Mr Clare in a voice inward
and hardly articulate the struggle is now over I have finished my part
farewel remember These were his last words He lived still a few hours his
lips were sometimes seen to move he expired without a groan
Mr Falkland had witnessed the scene with much anxiety His hopes of a
favourable crisis and his fear of disturbing the last moments of his friend
had held him dumb For the last half hour he had stood up with his eyes intently
fixed upon Mr Clare He witnessed the last gasp the last little convulsive
motion of the frame He continued to look he sometimes imagined that he saw
life renewed At length he could deceive himself no longer and exclaimed with a
distracted accent And is this all He would have thrown himself upon the body
of his friend the attendants withheld and would have forced him into another
apartment But he struggled from them and hung fondly over the bed Is this the
end of genius virtue and excellence Is the luminary of the world thus for ever
gone Oh yesterday yesterday Clare why could not I have died in your stead
Dreadful moment Irreparable loss Lost in the very maturity and vigour of his
mind Cut off from a usefulness ten thousand times greater than any he had
already exhibited Oh his was a mind to have instructed sages and guided the
moral world This is all we have left of him The eloquence of those lips is
gone The incessant activity of that heart is still The best and wisest of men
is gone and the world is insensible of its loss
Mr Tyrrel heard the intelligence of Mr Clares death with emotion but of
a different kind He avowed that he had not forgiven him his partial attachment
to Mr Falkland and therefore could not recal his remembrance with kindness
But if he could have overlooked his past injustice sufficient care it seems
was taken to keep alive his resentment Falkland forsooth attended him on his
deathbed as if nobody else were worthy of his confidential communications But
what was worst of all was this executorship In every thing this pragmatical
rascal throws me behind Contemptible wretch that has nothing of the man about
him Must he perpetually trample upon his betters Is every body incapable of
saying what kind of stuff a man is made of caught with mere outside choosing
the flimsy before the substantial And upon his deathbed too Mr Tyrrel with
his uncultivated brutality mixed as usually happens certain rude notions of
religion Sure the sense of his situation might have shamed him Poor wretch
his soul has a great deal to answer for He has made my pillow uneasy and
whatever may be the consequences it is he we have to thank for them
The death of Mr Clare removed the person who could most effectually have
moderated the animosities of the contending parties and took away the great
operative check upon the excesses of Mr Tyrrel This rustic tyrant had been
held in involuntary restraint by the intellectual ascendancy of his celebrated
neighbour and notwithstanding the general ferocity of his temper he did not
appear till lately to have entertained a hatred against him In the short time
that had elapsed from the period in which Mr Clare had fixed his residence in
the neighbourhood to that of the arrival of Mr Falkland from the continent the
conduct of Mr Tyrrel had even shown tokens of improvement He would indeed have
been better satisfied not to have had even this intruder into a circle where he
had been accustomed to reign But with Mr Clare he could have no rivalship the
venerable character of Mr Clare disposed him to submission this great man
seemed to have survived all the acrimony of contention and all the jealous
subtleties of a mistaken honour
The effects of Mr Clares suavity however so far as related to Mr Tyrrel
had been in a certain degree suspended by considerations of rivalship between
this gentleman and Mr Falkland And now that the influence of Mr Clares
presence and virtues was entirely removed Mr Tyrrels temper broke out into
more criminal excesses than ever The added gloom which Mr Falklands
neighbourhood inspired overflowed upon all his connections and the new
examples of his sullenness and tyranny which every day afforded reflected back
upon this accumulated and portentous feud
Chapter VI
The consequences of all this speedily manifested themselves The very next
incident in the story was in some degree decisive of the catastrophe Hitherto I
have spoken only of preliminary matters seemingly unconnected with each other
though leading to that state of mind in both parties which had such fatal
effects But all that remains is rapid and tremendous The death dealing
mischief advances with an accelerated motion appearing to defy human wisdom and
strength to obstruct its operation
The vices of Mr Tyrrel in their present state of augmentation were
peculiarly exercised upon his domestics and dependents But the principal
sufferer was the young lady mentioned on a former occasion the orphan daughter
of his fathers sister Miss Melviles mother had married imprudently or rather
unfortunately against the consent of her relations all of whom had agreed to
withdraw their countenance from her in consequence of that precipitate step Her
husband had turned out to be no better than an adventurer had spent her
fortune which in consequence of the irreconcilableness of her family was less
than he expected and broken her heart Her infant daughter was left without any
resource In this situation the representations of the people with whom she
happened to be placed prevailed upon Mrs Tyrrel the mother of the squire to
receive her into her family In equity perhaps she was entitled to that portion
of fortune which her mother had forfeited by her imprudence and which had gone
to swell the property of the male representative But this idea had never
entered into the conceptions of either mother or son Mrs Tyrrel conceived that
she performed an act of the most exalted benevolence in admitting miss Emily
into a sort of equivocal situation which was neither precisely that of a
domestic nor yet marked with the treatment that might seem due to one of the
family
She had not however at first been sensible of all the mortifications that
might have been expected from her condition Mrs Tyrrel though proud and
imperious was not ill natured The female who lived in the family in the
capacity of housekeeper was a person who had seen better days and whose
disposition was extremely upright and amiable She early contracted a friendship
for the little Emily who was indeed for the most part committed to her care
Emily on her side fully repaid the affection of her instructress and learned
with great docility the few accomplishments Mrs Jakeman was able to
communicate But most of all she imbibed her chearful and artless temper that
extracted the agreeable and encouraging from all events and prompted her to
communicate her sentiments which were never of the cynical cast without
modification or disguise Beside the advantages Emily derived from Mrs Jakeman
she was permitted to take lessons from the masters who were employed at Tyrrel
Place for the instruction of her cousin and indeed as the young gentleman was
most frequently indisposed to attend to them they would commonly have had
nothing to do had it not been for the fortunate presence of miss Melvile Mrs
Tyrrel therefore encouraged the studies of Emily on that score in addition to
which she imagined that this living exhibition of instruction might operate as
an indirect allurement to her darling Barnabas the only species of motive she
would suffer to be presented Force she absolutely forbad and of the intrinsic
allurements of literature and knowledge she had no conception
Emily as she grew up displayed an uncommon degree of sensibility which
under her circumstances would have been a source of perpetual dissatisfaction
had it not been qualified with an extreme sweetness and easiness of temper She
was far from being entitled to the appellation of a beauty Her person was
petite and trivial her complexion savoured of the brunette and her face was
marked with the small pox sufficiently to destroy its evenness and polish
though not enough to destroy its expression But though her appearance was not
beautiful it did not fail to be in a high degree engaging Her complexion was
at once healthful and delicate her long dark eye brows adapted themselves with
facility to the various conceptions of her mind and her looks bore the united
impression of an active discernment and a goodhumoured frankness The
instruction she had received as it was entirely of a casual nature exempted
her from the evils of untutored ignorance but not from a sort of native
wildness arguing a mind incapable of guile itself or of suspecting it in
others She amused without seeming conscious of the refined sense which her
observations contained or rather having never been debauched with applause
she set light by her own qualifications and talked from the pure gaiety of a
youthful heart acting upon the stores of a just understanding and not with any
expectation of being distinguished and admired
The death of her aunt made very little change in her situation This prudent
lady who would have thought it little less than sacrilege to have considered
miss Melvile as a branch of the stock of the Tyrrels took no more notice of her
in her will than barely putting her down for one hundred pounds in a catalogue
of legacies to her servants She had never been admitted into the intimacy and
confidence of Mrs Tyrrel and the young squire now that she was left under his
sole protection seemed inclined to treat her with even more liberality than his
mother had done He had seen her grow up under his eye and therefore though
there were but six years difference in their ages he felt a kind of paternal
interest in her welfare Habit had rendered her in a manner necessary to him
and in every recess from the occupations of the field and the pleasures of the
table he found himself solitary and forlorn without the society of miss
Melvile Nearness of kindred and Emilys want of personal beauty prevented him
from ever looking on her with the eyes of desire Her accomplishments were
chiefly of the customary and superficial kind dancing and music Her skill in
the first led him sometimes to indulge her with a vacant corner in his carriage
when he went to the neighbouring assembly and in whatever light he might
himself think proper to regard her he would have imagined his chambermaid
introduced by him entitled to an undoubted place in the most splendid circle
Her musical talents were frequently employed for his amusement She had the
honour occasionally of playing him to sleep after the fatigues of the chase
and as he had some relish for harmonious sounds she was frequently able to
soothe him by their means from the perturbations of which his gloomy disposition
was so eminently a slave Upon the whole she might be considered as in some sort
his favourite She was the mediator to whom his tenants and domestics when they
had incurred his displeasure were accustomed to apply the privileged companion
that could approach this lion with impunity in the midst of his roarings She
spoke to him without fear his solicitations were always good natured and
disinterested and when he repulsed her he disarmed himself of half his
terrors and was contented to smile at her presumption
Such had been for some years the situation of miss Melvile Its
precariousness had been beguiled by the uncommon forbearance with which she was
treated by her savage protector But his disposition always brutal had
acquired a gradual accession of ferocity since the settlement of Mr Falkland in
his neighbourhood He now frequently forgot the gentleness with which he had
been accustomed to treat his good natured cousin Her little playful arts were
not always successful in softening his rage and he would sometimes turn upon
her blandishments with an impatient sternness that made her tremble The
careless ease of her disposition however soon effaced these impressions and she
fell without variation into her old habits
A circumstance occurred about this time which gave peculiar strength to the
acrimony of Mr Tyrrel and ultimately brought to its close the felicity that
miss Melvile in spite of the frowns of fortune had hitherto enjoyed Emily was
exactly seventeen when Mr Falkland returned from the continent At this age she
was peculiarly susceptible of the charms of beauty grace and moral excellence
when united in a person of the other sex She was imprudent precisely because
her own heart was incapable of guile She had never yet felt the sting of the
poverty to which she was condemned and had not reflected on the insuperable
distance that custom has placed between the opulent and the poorer classes of
the community She beheld Mr Falkland whenever he was thrown in her way at any
of the public meetings with admiration and without having precisely explained
to herself the sentiments she indulged her eyes followed him through all the
changes of the scene with eagerness and impatience She did not see him as the
rest of the assembly did born to one of the amplest estates in the county and
qualified to assert his title to the richest heiress She thought only of
Falkland with those advantages which were most intimately his own and of which
no persecution of adverse fortune had the ability to deprive him In a word she
was transported when he was present he was the perpetual subject of her
reveries and her dreams but his image excited no sentiment in her mind beyond
that of the immediate pleasure she took in his idea
The notice Mr Falkland bestowed on her in return appeared sufficiently
encouraging to a mind so full of prepossession as that of Emily There was a
particular complacency in his looks when directed towards her He had said in a
company of which one of the persons present repeated his remarks to miss
Melvile that she appeared to him amiable and interesting that he felt for her
unprovided and destitute situation and that he should have been glad to be more
particular in his notice of her had he not been apprehensive of doing her a
prejudice in the suspicious mind of Mr Tyrrel All this she considered as the
ravishing condescension of a superior nature for if she did not recollect with
sufficient assiduity his gifts of fortune she was on the other hand filled with
reverence for his unrivalled accomplishments But while she thus seemingly
disclaimed all comparison between Mr Falkland and herself she probably
cherished a confused feeling as if some event that was yet in the womb of fate
might reconcile things apparently the most incompatible Fraught with these
prepossessions the civilities that had once or twice occurred in the bustle of
a public circle the restoring her fan which she had dropped or the
disembarrassing her of an empty teacup made her heart palpitate and gave
birth to the wildest chimeras in her deluded imagination
About this time an event happened that helped to give a precise
determination to the fluctuations of miss Melviles mind One evening a short
time after the death of Mr Clare Mr Falkland had been at the house of his
deceased friend in his quality of executor and by some accidents of little
intrinsic importance had been detained three or four hours later than he
expected He did not set out upon his return till two oclock in the morning At
this time in a situation so remote from the metropolis every thing is as
silent as it would be in a region wholly uninhabited The moon shone bright and
the objects around being marked with strong variations of light and shade gave
a kind of sacred solemnity to the scene Mr Falkland had taken Collins with
him the business to be settled at Mr Clares being in some respects similar to
that to which this faithful domestic had been accustomed in the routine of his
ordinary service They had entered into some conversation for Mr Falkland was
not then in the habit of obliging the persons about him by formality and reserve
to recollect who he was The attractive solemnity of the scene made him break
off the talk somewhat abruptly that he might enjoy it without interruption
They had not ridden far before a hollow wind seemed to rise at a distance and
they could hear the hoarse roarings of the sea Presently the sky on one side
assumed the appearance of a reddish brown and a sudden angle in the road placed
this phenomenon directly before them As they proceeded it became more distinct
and it was at length sufficiently visible that it was occasioned by a fire Mr
Falkland put spurs to his horse and as they approached the object presented
every instant a more alarming appearance The flames ascended with fierceness
they embraced a large portion of the horizon and as they carried up with them
numerous little fragments of the materials that fed them impregnated with fire
and of an extremely bright and luminous colour they presented some feeble image
of the tremendous eruption of a volcano
The flames proceeded from a village directly in their road There were eight
or ten houses already on fire and the whole seemed to be threatened with
immediate destruction The inhabitants were in the utmost consternation having
had no previous experience of a similar calamity They conveyed with haste their
moveables and furniture into the adjoining fields When any of them had effected
this as far as it could be attempted with safety they were unable to conceive
any farther remedy but stood wringing their hands and contemplating the ravages
of the fire in an agony of powerless despair The water that could be procured
in any mode practised in that place was but as a drop contending with a whole
element in arms The wind in the mean time was rising and the flames spread
with more and more rapidity
Mr Falkland contemplated this scene for a few moments as if ruminating
with himself as to what could be done He then directed some of the country
people about him to pull down a house next to one that was wholly on fire but
which itself was yet untouched They seemed astonished at a direction which
implied a voluntary destruction of property and considered the task as too much
in the heart of the danger to be undertaken Observing that they were
motionless he dismounted from his horse and called upon them in an
authoritative voice to follow him He ascended the house in an instant and
presently appeared upon the top of it as if in the midst of the flames Having
with the assistance of two or three of the persons that followed him most
closely and who by this time had supplied themselves with whatever tools came
next to hand loosened the support of a stack of chimnies he pushed them
headlong into the midst of the fire He passed and repassed along the roof and
having set people to work in all parts descended in order to see what could be
done in any other quarter
At this moment an elderly woman burst from the midst of a house in flames
The utmost consternation was painted in her looks and as soon as she could
recollect herself enough to have a proper idea of her situation the subject of
her anxiety seemed in an instant to be totally changed Where is my child cried
she and cast an anxious and piercing look among the surrounding crowd Oh she
is lost she is in the midst of the flames Save her save her my child She
filled the air with heartrending shrieks She turned towards the house The
people that were near endeavoured to prevent her but she shook them off in a
moment She entered the passage viewed the hideous ruin and was then going to
plunge into the blazing staircase Mr Falkland saw pursued and seized her by
the arm it was Mrs Jakeman Stop he cried with a voice of grand yet
benevolent authority Remain you in the street I will seek and will save
her Mrs Jakeman obeyed He charged the persons who were near to detain her
he enquired which was the apartment of Emily Mrs Jakeman was upon a visit to a
sister who lived in the village and had brought Emily along with her Mr
Falkland ascended a neighbouring house and entered that in which Emily was by
a window in the roof
He found her already awaked from her sleep and becoming sensible of her
danger she had that instant wrapped a loose gown round her Such is the almost
irresistible result of feminine habits but having done this she examined the
surrounding objects with the wildness of despair Mr Falkland entered the
chamber She flew into his arms with the rapidity of lightning She embraced and
clung to him with an impulse that did not wait to consult the dictates of her
understanding Her emotions were indescribable In a few short moments she had
lived an age in love In two minutes Mr Falkland was again in the street with
his lovely halfnaked burthen in his arms Having restored her to her
affectionate protector snatched from the immediate grasp of death from which
if he had not none would have delivered her he returned to his former task By
his presence of mind by his indefatigable humanity and incessant exertions he
saved threefourths of the village from destruction The conflagration being at
length abated he sought again Mrs Jakeman and Emily who by this time had
obtained a substitute for the garments she had lost in the fire He displayed
the tenderest solicitude for the young ladys safety and directed Collins to go
with as much speed as he could and send his chariot to attend her More than an
hour elapsed in this interval Miss Melvile had never seen so much of Mr
Falkland upon any former occasion and the spectacle of such humanity delicacy
firmness and justice in the form of man as he crowded into this small space
was altogether new to her and in the highest degree fascinating She had a
confused feeling as if there had been something indecorous in her behaviour or
appearance when Mr Falkland had appeared to her relief and this combined with
her other emotions to render the whole critical and intoxicating
Emily no sooner arrived at the family mansion than Mr Tyrrel ran out to
receive her He had just heard of the melancholy accident that had taken place
at the village and was terrified for the safety of his good humoured cousin He
displayed those unpremeditated emotions which are common to almost every
individual of the human race He was greatly shocked at the suspicion that Emily
might possibly have become the victim of a catastrophe which had thus broken out
in the dead of night His sensations were of the most pleasing sort when he
folded her in his arms and fearful apprehension was instantaneously converted
into joyous certainty Emily no sooner entered under the wellknown roof than
her spirits were brisk and her tongue incessant in describing her danger and
her deliverance Mr Tyrrel had formerly been tortured with the innocent
eulogiums she pronounced of Mr Falkland But these were tameness itself
compared with the rich and various eloquence that now flowed from her lips Love
had not the same effect upon her especially at the present moment which it
would have had upon a person instructed to feign a blush and inured to a
consciousness of wrong She described his activity and his resources the
promptitude with which every thing was conceived and the cautious but daring
wisdom with which it was executed All was fairyland and enchantment in the
tenour of her artless tale you saw a beneficent genius surveying and controling
the whole but could have no notion of any human means by which his purposes
were effected
Mr Tyrrel listened for a while to these innocent effusions with patience
he could even bear to hear the man applauded by whom he had just obtained so
considerable a benefit But the theme by amplification became nauseous and he
at length with some roughness put an end to the tale Probably upon recollection
it appeared still more insolent and intolerable than while it was passing the
sensation of gratitude wore off but the hyperbolical praise that had been
bestowed still haunted his memory and sounded in his ears Emily had entered
into the confederacy that disturbed his repose For herself she was wholly
unconscious of offence and upon every occasion quoted Mr Falkland as the model
of elegant manners and true wisdom She was a total stranger to dissimulation
and she could not conceive that any one beheld the object of her admiration with
less partiality than herself Her artless love became more fervent than ever
She sometimes flattered herself that nothing less than a reciprocal passion
could have prompted Mr Falkland to the desperate attempt of saving her from the
flames and she trusted that this passion would speedily declare itself as well
as induce the object of her adoration to overlook her comparative unworthiness
Mr Tyrrel endeavoured at first with some moderation to check miss Melvile
in her applauses and to convince her by various tokens that the subject was
disagreeable to him He was accustomed to treat her with kindness Emily on her
part was disposed to yield an unreluctant obedience and therefore it was not
difficult to restrain her but upon the very next occasion her favourite topic
would force its way to her lips Her obedience was the acquiescence of a frank
and benevolent heart but it was the most difficult thing in the world to
inspire her with fear Conscious herself that she would not hurt a worm she
could not conceive that any one would harbour cruelty and rancour against her
Her temper had preserved her from obstinate contention with the persons under
whose protection she was placed and as her compliance was unhesitating she
had no experience of a severe and rigorous treatment As Mr Tyrrels objection
to the very name of Falkland became more palpable and uniform miss Melvile
increased in her precaution she would stop herself in the half pronounced
sentences that were meant to his praise This circumstance had necessarily an
ungracious effect it was a cutting satire upon the imbecility of her kinsman
Upon these occasions she would sometimes venture upon a goodhumoured
expostulation Dear sir well I wonder how you can be so illnatured I am sure
Mr Falkland would do you any good office in the world till she was checked by
some gesture of impatience and fierceness
At length she wholly conquered her heedlessness and inattention But it was
too late Mr Tyrrel already suspected the existence of that passion which she
had thoughtlessly imbibed His imagination ingenious in torment suggested to
him all the different openings in conversation in which she would have
introduced the praise of Mr Falkland had she not been placed under this
unnatural restraint Her present reserve upon the subject was even more
insufferable than her former loquacity All his kindness for this unhappy orphan
gradually subsided Her partiality for the man who was the object of his
unbounded abhorrence appeared to him as the last persecution of a malicious
destiny He figured himself as about to be deserted by every creature in human
form all men under the influence of a fatal enchantment approving only what
was sophisticated and artificial and holding the rude and genuine offspring of
nature in mortal antipathy Impressed with these gloomy presages he saw miss
Melvile with no sentiments but those of rancorous aversion and accustomed as
he was to the uncontroled indulgence of his propensities he determined to wreak
upon her a signal revenge
Chapter VII
Mr Tyrrel consulted his old confident respecting the plan he should pursue
who sympathising as he did in the brutality and insolence of his friend had no
idea that an insignificant girl without either wealth or beauty ought to be
allowed for a moment to stand in the way of the gratifications of a man of Mr
Tyrrels importance The first idea of her now unrelenting kinsman was to thrust
her from his doors and leave her to seek her bread as she could But he was
conscious that this proceeding would involve him in considerable obloquy and he
at length fixed upon a scheme which at the same time that he believed it would
sufficiently shelter his reputation would much more certainly secure her
mortification and punishment
For this purpose he fixed upon a young man of twenty the son of one Grimes
who occupied a small farm the property of his confident This fellow he resolved
to impose as a husband on miss Melvile who he shrewdly suspected guided by the
tender sentiments she had unfortunately conceived for Mr Falkland would listen
with reluctance to any matrimonial proposal Grimes he selected as being in all
respects the diametrical reverse of Mr Falkland He was not precisely a lad of
vicious propensities but in an inconceivable degree boorish and uncouth His
complexion was scarcely human his features were coarse and strangely
discordant and disjointed from each other His lips were thick and the tone of
his voice broad and unmodulated His legs were of equal size from one end to the
other and his feet misshapen and clumsy He had nothing spiteful or malicious
in his disposition but he was a total stranger to tenderness he could not feel
for those refinements in others of which he had no experience in himself He
was an expert boxer his inclination led him to such amusements as were most
boisterous and he delighted in a sort of manual sarcasm which he could not
conceive to be very injurious as it left no traces behind it His general
manners were noisy and obstreperous inattentive to others and obstinate and
unyielding not from any cruelty and ruggedness of temper but from an
incapacity to conceive those finer feelings that make so large a part of the
history of persons who are cast in a gentler mould
Such was the uncouth and halfcivilised animal which the industrious malice
of Mr Tyrrel fixed upon as most happily adapted to his purpose Emily had
hitherto been in an unusual degree exempted from the oppression of despotism
Her happy insignificance had served her as a protection No one thought it worth
his while to fetter her with those numerous petty restrictions with which the
daughters of opulence are commonly tormented She had the wildness as well as
the delicate frame of the bird that warbles unmolested in its native groves
When therefore she heard from her kinsman the proposal of Mr Grimes for a
husband she was for a moment silent with astonishment at so unexpected a
suggestion But as soon as she recovered her speech she replied No sir I do
not want a husband
You do Are not you always hankering after the men It is high time you
should be settled
Mr Grimes No indeed when I do have a husband it shall not be such a man
as Mr Grimes neither
Be silent How dare you give yourself such unaccountable liberties
Lord I wonder what I should do with him You might as well give me your
great rough waterdog and bid me make him a silk cushion to lie in my dressing
room Besides sir Grimes is a common labouring man and I am sure I have
always heard my aunt say that ours is a very great family
It is a lie Our family Have you the impudence to think yourself one of our
family
Why sir was not your grandpapa my grandpapa How then can we be of a
different family
From the strongest reason in the world You are the daughter of a rascally
Scotchman who spent every shilling of my aunt Lucys fortune and left you a
beggar You have got a hundred pounds and Grimess father promises to give him
as much How dare you look down upon your equals
Indeed sir I am not proud But indeed and indeed I can never love Mr
Grimes I am very happy as I am why should I be married
Silence your prating Grimes will be here this afternoon Look that you
behave well to him If you do not he will remember and repay when you least
like it
Now I am sure sir you are not in earnest
Not in earnest Damn me but we will see that I can tell what you would be
at You had rather be Mr Falklands miss than the wife of a plain downright
yeoman But I shall take care of you Aye this comes of indulgence You must
be taken down miss You must be taught the difference between high flown
notions and realities Mayhap you may take it a little in dudgeon or so But
never mind that Pride always wants a little smarting If you should be brought
to shame it is I that shall bear all the blame of it
The tone in which Mr Tyrrel spoke was so different from any thing to which
miss Melvile had been accustomed that she felt herself wholly unable to
determine what construction to put upon it Sometimes she thought he had really
formed a plan for imposing upon her a condition that she could not bear so much
as to think of But presently she rejected this idea as an unworthy imputation
upon her kinsman and concluded that it was only his way and that all he meant
was to try her To be resolved however she determined to consult her constant
adviser Mrs Jakeman and accordingly repeated to her what had passed Mrs
Jakeman saw the whole in a very different light from that in which Emily had
conceived it and trembled for the future peace of her beloved ward
Lord bless me my dear mamma cried Emily this was the appellation she
delighted to bestow upon the good housekeeper you cannot think so But I do not
care I will never marry Grimes happen what will
But how will you help yourself My master will oblige you
Nay now you think you are talking to a child indeed It is I am to have the
man not Mr Tyrrel Do you think I will let any body else chuse a husband for
me I am not such a fool as that neither
Ah Emily you little know the disadvantages of your situation Your cousin
is a violent man and perhaps will turn you out of doors if you oppose him
Oh mamma it is very wicked of you to say so I am sure Mr Tyrrel is a
very good man though he be a little cross now and then He knows very well that
I am right to have a will of my own in such a thing as this and nobody is
punished for doing what is right
Nobody ought my dear child But there are very wicked and tyrannical men in
the world
Well well I will never believe that my cousin is one of these
I hope he is not
And if he were what then To be sure I should be very sorry to make him
angry
What then Why then my poor Emily would be a beggar Do you think I could
bear to see that
No no Mr Tyrrel has just told me that I have a hundred pounds But if I
had no fortune at all is not that the case with a thousand other folks Why
should I grieve for what they bear and are merry Do not make yourself uneasy
mamma I am determined that I will do any thing rather than marry Grimes that
is what I will
Mrs Jakeman could not bear the uneasy state of suspense in which this
conversation left her mind and went immediately to the squire to have her
doubts resolved The manner in which she proposed the question sufficiently
indicated the judgment she had formed of the match
That is true said Mr Tyrrel I wanted to speak to you about this affair
The girl has got unaccountable notions in her head that will be the ruin of
her You perhaps can tell where she had them But be that as it will it is
high time something should be done The shortest way is the best and to keep
things well while they are well In short I am determined she shall marry this
lad you do not know any harm of him do you You have a good deal of influence
with her and I desire do you see that you will employ it to lead her to her
good you had best I can tell you She is a pert vixen By and by she would be
a whore and at last no better than a common trull and rot upon a dunghil if I
were not at all these pains to save her from destruction I would make her an
honest farmers wife and my pretty miss cannot bear the thoughts of it
In the afternoon Grimes came according to appointment and was left alone
with the young lady Well miss said he it seems the squire has a mind to make
us man and wife For my part I cannot say I should have thought of it But
being as how the squire has broke the ice if so be as you like of the match
why I am your man Say the word a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse
Emily was already sufficiently mortified at the unexpected proposal of Mr
Tyrrel She was confounded at the novelty of the situation and still more at
the uncultivated rudeness of her lover which even exceeded her expectation
This confusion was interpreted by Grimes into diffidence
Come come never be cast down Put a good face upon it What though My
first sweetheart was Bet Butterfield but what of that What must be must be
grief will never fill the belly She was a fine strapping wench that is the
truth of it Five foot ten inches and as stout as a trooper Oh she would do a
power of work Up early and down late milked ten cows with her own hands on
with her cardinal rode to market between her panniers fair weather and foul
hail blow or snow It would have done your heart good to have seen her
frostbitten cheeks as red as a beefen from her own orchard Ah she was a maid
of mettle would romp with the harvest men slap one upon the back wrestle with
another and had a rogues trick and a joke for all round Poor girl she broke
her neck down stairs at a christening To be sure I shall never meet with her
fellow But never you mind that I do not doubt that I shall find more in you
upon farther acquaintance As coy and bashful as you seem I dare say you are
rogue enough at bottom When I have touzled and rumpled you a little we shall
see I am no chicken miss whatever you may think I know what is what and can
see as far into a milstone as another Ay ay you will come to The fish will
snap at the bait never doubt it Yes yes we shall rub on main well together
Emily by this time had in some degree mustered up her spirits and began
though with hesitation to thank Mr Grimes for his good opinion but to confess
that she could never be brought to favour his addresses She therefore intreated
him to desist from all farther application This remonstrance on her part would
have become more intelligible had it not been for his boisterous manners and
extravagant chearfulness which indisposed him to silence and made him suppose
that at half a word he had a sufficient intimation of anothers meaning Mr
Tyrrel in the mean time was too impatient not to interrupt the scene before
they could have time to proceed far in explanation and he was studious in the
sequel to prevent the young folks from being too intimately acquainted with each
others inclinations Grimes of consequence attributed the reluctance of miss
Melvile to maiden coyness and the skittish shyness of an unbroken filly Indeed
had it been otherwise it is not probable that it would have made any effectual
impression upon him as he was always accustomed to consider women as made for
the recreation of the men and to exclaim against the weakness of people who
taught them to imagine they were to judge for themselves
As the suit proceeded and miss Melvile saw more of her new admirer her
antipathy increased But though her character was unspoiled by those false
wants which frequently make people of family miserable while they have every
thing that nature requires within their reach yet she had been little used to
opposition and was terrified by the growing sternness of her kinsman Sometimes
she thought of flying from a house which was now become her dungeon but the
habits of her youth and her ignorance of the world made her shrink from this
project when she contemplated it more nearly Mrs Jakeman indeed could not
think with patience of young Grimes as a husband for her darling Emily but her
prudence determined her to resist with all her might the idea on the part of the
young lady of proceeding to extremities She could not believe that Mr Tyrrel
would persist in such an unaccountable persecution and she exhorted miss
Melvile to forget for a moment the unaffected independence of her character and
pathetically to deprecate her cousins obstinacy She had great confidence in
the ingenuous eloquence of her ward Mrs Jakeman did not know what was passing
in the breast of the tyrant
Miss Melvile complied with the suggestion of her mamma One morning
immediately after breakfast she went to her harpsichord and played one after
another several of those airs that were most the favourites of Mr Tyrrel Mrs
Jakeman had retired the servants were gone to their respective employments Mr
Tyrrel would have gone also his mind was untuned and he did not take the
pleasure he had been accustomed to take in the musical performances of Emily
But her finger was now more tasteful than common Her mind was probably wrought
up to a firmer and bolder tone by the recollection of the cause she was going to
plead at the same time that it was exempt from those incapacitating tremors
which would have been felt by one that dared not look poverty in the face Mr
Tyrrel was unable to leave the apartment Sometimes he traversed it with
impatient steps then he hung over the poor innocent whose powers were exerted
to please him at length he threw himself in a chair opposite with his eyes
turned towards Emily It was easy to trace the progress of his emotions The
furrows into which his countenance was contracted were gradually relaxed his
features were brightened into a smile the kindness with which he had upon
former occasions contemplated Emily seemed to revive in his heart
Emily watched her opportunity As soon as she had finished one of the
pieces she rose and went to Mr Tyrrel
Now have not I done it nicely And after this will not you give me a reward
A reward Ay come here and I will give you a kiss
No that is not it And yet you have not kissed me this many a day Formerly
you said you loved me and called me your Emily I am sure you did not love me
better than I loved you You have not forgot all the kindness you once had for
me added she anxiously
Forgot No no How can you ask such a question You shall be my dear Emily
still
Ah those were happy times she replied a little mournfully Do you know
cousin I wish I could wake and find that the last month only about a month
was a dream
What do you mean by that said Mr Tyrrel with an altered voice Have a
care Do not put me out of humour Do not come with your romantic notions now
No no I have no romantic notions in my head I speak of something upon
which the happiness of my life depends
I see what you would be at Be silent You know it is to no purpose to
plague me with your stubbornness You will not let me be in good humour with you
for a moment What my mind is determined on about Grimes all the world shall
not move me to give up
Dear dear cousin why but consider now Grimes is a rough rustic lout like
Orson in the storybook He wants a wife like himself He would be as uneasy and
as much at a loss with me as I with him Why should we both of us be forced to
do what neither of us is inclined to I cannot think what could ever have put it
into your head But now for goodness sake give it up Marriage is a serious
thing You should not think of joining two people for a whim who are neither of
them fit for one another in any respect in the world We should feel mortified
and disappointed all our lives Month would go after month and year after year
and I could never hope to be my own but by the death of a person I ought to
love I am sure sir you cannot mean me all this harm What have I done that I
should deserve to have you for an enemy
I am not your enemy I tell you that it is necessary to put you out of
harms way But if I were your enemy I could not be a worse torment to you
than you are to me Are not you continually singing the praises of Falkland Are
not you in love with Falkland That man is a legion of devils to me I might as
well have been a beggar I might as well have been a dwarf or a monster Time
was when I was thought entitled to respect But now debauched by this
Frenchified rascal they call me rude surly a tyrant It is true that I cannot
talk in finical phrases flatter people with hypocritical praise or suppress
the real feelings of my mind The scoundrel knows his pitiful advantages and
insults me upon them without ceasing He is my rival and my persecutor And at
last as if all this were not enough he has found means to spread the
pestilence in my own family You whom we took up out of charity the chance
born brat of a stolen marriage you must turn upon your benefactor and wound
me in the point that of all others I could least bear it If I were your enemy
should I not have reason Could I ever inflict upon you such injuries as you
have made me suffer And who are you The lives of fifty such cannot atone for
an hour of my uneasiness If you were to linger for twenty years upon the rack
you would never feel what I have felt But I am your friend I see which way you
are going and I am determined to save you from the thief this hypocritical
destroyer of us all Every moment that the mischief is left to itself it does
but make bad worse and I am determined to save you out of hand
The angry expostulations of Mr Tyrrel suggested new ideas to the tender
mind of miss Melvile He had never confessed the emotions of his soul so
explicitly before but the tempest of his thoughts suffered him to be no longer
master of himself She saw with astonishment that he was the irreconcilable foe
of Mr Falkland whom she had fondly imagined it was the same thing to know and
admire and that he harboured a deep and rooted resentment against herself She
recoiled without well knowing why before the ferocious passions of her kinsman
and was convinced that she had nothing to hope from his implacable temper But
her alarm was the prelude of firmness and not of cowardice
No sir replied she indeed I will not be driven any way that you happen to
like I have been used to obey you and in all that is reasonable I will obey
you still But you urge me too far What do you tell me of Mr Falkland Have I
ever done any thing to deserve your unkind suspicions I am innocent and will
continue innocent Mr Grimes is well enough and will no doubt find women that
like him But he is not fit for me and torture shall not force me to be his
wife
Mr Tyrrel was not a little astonished at the spirit which Emily displayed
upon this occasion He had calculated too securely upon the general mildness and
suavity of her disposition He now endeavoured to qualify the harshness of his
former sentiments
God damn my soul And so you can scold can you You expect every body to
turn out of his way and fetch and carry just as you please I could find in my
heart But you know my mind I insist upon it that you let Grimes court you
and that you lay aside your sulks and give him a fair hearing Will you do
that If then you persist in your wilfulness why there I suppose is an end of
the matter Do not think that any body is going to marry you whether you will
or no You are no such mighty prize I assure you If you knew your own
interest you would be glad to take the young fellow while he is willing
Miss Melvile rejoiced in the prospect which the last words of her kinsman
afforded her of a termination at no great distance to her present persecutions
Mrs Jakeman to whom she communicated them congratulated Emily on the
returning moderation and good sense of the squire and herself on her prudence
in having urged the young lady to this happy expostulation But their mutual
felicitations lasted not long Mr Tyrrel informed Mrs Jakeman of the necessity
in which he found himself of sending her to a distance upon a business which
would not fail to detain her several weeks and though the errand by no means
wore an artificial or ambiguous face the two friends drew a melancholy presage
from this illtimed separation Mrs Jakeman in the mean time exhorted her ward
to persevere reminded her of the compunction which had already been manifested
by her kinsman and encouraged her to hope every thing from her courage and good
temper Emily on her part though grieved at the absence of her protector and
counsellor at so interesting a crisis was unable to suspect Mr Tyrrel of such
a degree either of malice or duplicity as could afford ground for serious alarm
She congratulated herself upon her delivery from so alarming a persecution and
drew a prognostic of future success from this happy termination of the first
serious affair of her life She exchanged a state of fortitude and alarm for her
former pleasing dreams respecting Mr Falkland These she bore without
impatience She was even taught by the uncertainty of the event to desire to
prolong rather than abridge a situation which might be delusive but which was
not without its pleasures
Chapter VIII
Nothing could be farther from Mr Tyrrels intention than to suffer his project
to be thus terminated No sooner was he freed from the fear of his housekeepers
interference than he changed the whole system of his conduct He ordered miss
Melvile to be closely confined to her apartment and deprived of all the means
of communicating her situation to any one out of his own house He placed over
her a female servant in whose discretion he could confide and who having
formerly been honoured with the amorous notices from the squire considered the
distinctions that were paid to Emily at Tyrrel Place as an usurpation upon her
more reasonable claims The squire himself did every thing in his power to blast
the young ladys reputation and represented to his attendants these precautions
as necessary to prevent her from eloping to his neighbour and plunging herself
in total ruin
As soon as miss Melvile had been twenty four hours in durance and there was
some reason to suppose that her spirit might be subdued to the emergency of her
situation Mr Tyrrel thought proper to go to her to explain the grounds of her
present treatment and acquaint her with the only means by which she could hope
for a change Emily no sooner saw him than she turned towards him with an air
of greater firmness than perhaps she had ever assumed in her life and accosted
him thus
Well sir is it you I wanted to see you It seems I am shut up here by
your orders What does this mean What right have you to make a prisoner of me
What do I owe you Your mother left me a hundred pounds have you ever offered
to make any addition to my fortune But if you had I do not want it I do not
pretend to be better than the children of other poor parents I can maintain
myself as they do I prefer liberty to wealth I see you are surprised at the
resolution I exert But ought I not to turn again when I am trampled upon I
should have left you before now if Mrs Jakeman had not overpersuaded me and
if I had not thought better of you than by your present behaviour I find you
deserve But now sir I intend to leave your house this moment and insist upon
it that you do not endeavour to prevent me
Thus saying she arose and went towards the door while Mr Tyrrel stood
thunderstruck at her magnanimity Seeing however that she was upon the point of
being out of the reach of his power he recovered himself and pulled her back
What is in the wind now Do you think strumpet that you shall get the
better of me by sheer impudence Sit down rest you satisfied So you want to
know by what right you are here do you By the right of possession This house
is mine and you are in my power There is no Mrs Jakeman now to spirit you
away no nor no Falkland to bully for you I have countermined you damn me
and blown up your schemes Do you think I will be contradicted and opposed for
nothing When did you ever know any body resist my will without being made to
repent And shall I now see myself browbeaten by a chittyfaced girl I have
not given you a fortune Damn you who brought you up I will make you a bill
for clothing and lodging Do not you know that every creditor has a right to
stop his runaway debtor You may think as you please but here you are till you
marry Grimes Heaven and earth shall not prevent but I will get the better of
your obstinacy
Ungenerous unmerciful man and so it is enough for you that I have nobody
to defend me But I am not so helpless as you may imagine You may imprison my
body but you cannot conquer my mind Marry Mr Grimes And is this the way to
bring me to your purpose Every hardship I suffer puts still farther distant the
end for which I am thus unjustly treated You are not used to have your will
contradicted When did I ever contradict it And in a concern that is so
completely my own shall my will go for nothing Would you lay down this rule for
yourself and suffer no other creature to take the benefit of it I want nothing
of you how dare you refuse me the privilege of a reasonable being to live
unmolested in poverty and innocence What sort of a man do you show yourself
you that lay claim to the respect and applause of every one that knows you
The spirited reproaches of Emily had at first the effect to fill Mr Tyrrel
with astonishment and make him feel abashed and overawed in the presence of
this unprotected innocent But his confusion was the result of surprise When
the first emotion wore off he cursed himself for being moved by her
expostulations and was ten times more exasperated against her for daring to
defy his resentment at a time when she had every thing to fear His despotic and
unforgiving propensities stimulated him to a degree little short of madness At
the same time his habits which were pensive and gloomy led him to meditate a
variety of schemes to punish her obstinacy He began to suspect that there was
little hope of succeeding by open force and therefore determined to have
recourse to treachery
He found in Grimes an instrument sufficiently adapted to his purpose This
fellow without an atom of intentional malice was fitted by the mere coarseness
of his perceptions for the perpetration of the greatest injuries He regarded
both injury and advantage merely as they related to the gratifications of
appetite and considered it an essential in true wisdom to treat with insult the
effeminacy of those who suffer themselves to be tormented with ideal
misfortunes He believed that no happier destiny could befal a young woman than
to be his wife and he conceived that that termination would amply compensate
for any calamities she might suppose herself to undergo in the interval He was
therefore easily prevailed upon by certain temptations which Mr Tyrrel knew how
to employ to take a part in the plot into which miss Melvile was meant to be
betrayed
Matters being thus prepared Mr Tyrrel proceeded through the means of the
jailor for the experience he had already had of personal discussion did not
incline him to repeat his visits to play upon the fears of his prisoner This
woman sometimes under the pretence of friendship and sometimes with open
malice informed Emily from time to time of the preparations that were making
for her marriage One day the squire had rode over to look at a neat little farm
which was destined for the habitation of the newmarried couple and at another
a quantity of live stock and houshold furniture was procured that every thing
might be ready for their reception She then told her of a licence that was
bought a parson in readiness and a day fixed for the nuptials When Emily
endeavoured though with increasing misgivings to ridicule these proceedings as
absolutely nugatory without her consent her artful gouvernante related several
stories of forced marriages and assured her that neither protestations nor
silence nor fainting would be of any avail either to suspend the ceremony or
to set it aside when once performed
The situation of miss Melvile was in an eminent degree pitiable She had no
intercourse but with her persecutors She had not a human being with whom to
consult and who might afford her the smallest degree of consolation and
encouragement She had fortitude but it was neither confirmed nor directed by
the dictates of experience It could not therefore be expected to be so
inflexible as with better information it would no doubt have been found She had
a clear and noble spirit but she had some of her sexs errors Her mind sunk
under the uniform terrors with which she was assailed and her health became
visibly impaired
Her firmness being thus far undermined Grimes in pursuance of his
instructions took care in his next interview to throw out an insinuation that
for his own part he never cared much for the match and since she was so averse
to it would be better pleased that it should never take place Between one and
the other however he was got into a scrape and now he supposed he must marry
will he nill he The two squires would infallibly ruin him upon the least
appearance of backwardness on his part as they were accustomed to do every
inferior that resisted their will Emily was rejoiced to find her admirer in so
favourable a disposition and earnestly pressed him to give effect to this
humane declaration Her representations were full of eloquence and energy
Grimes appeared to be moved at the fervency of her manner but objected the
resentment of Mr Tyrrel and his landlord At length however he suggested a
project in consequence of which he might assist her in her escape without its
ever coming to their knowledge as indeed there was no likelihood that their
suspicions would fix upon him To be sure said he you have refused me in a
disdainful sort of a way as a man may say Mayhap you thought I was no better
an a brute But I bear you no malice and I will show you that I am more
kindhearted an you have been willing to think It is a strange sort of a
vagary you have taken to stand in your own light and disoblige all your
friends But if you are resolute to be off do you see I scorn to be the
husband of a lass that is not every bit as willing as I and so I will even help
to put you in a condition to follow your own inclinations
Emily listened to these suggestions at first with eagerness and approbation
But her fervency somewhat abated when they came to discuss the minute parts of
the undertaking It was necessary as Grimes informed her that her escape
should be effected in the dead of the night He would conceal himself for that
purpose in the garden and be provided with false keys by which to deliver her
from her prison These circumstances were by no means adapted to calm her
perturbed imagination To throw herself into the arms of the man whose
intercourse she was employing every method to avoid and whom under the idea of
a partner for life she could least of all men endure was no doubt an
extraordinary proceeding The attendant circumstances of darkness and solitude
aggravated the picture The situation of Tyrrel Place was uncommonly lonely it
was three miles from the nearest village and not less than seven from that in
which Mrs Jakemans sister resided under whose protection miss Melvile was
desirous of placing herself The ingenuous character of Emily did not allow her
once to suspect Grimes of intending to make an ungenerous and brutal advantage
of these circumstances but her mind involuntarily revolted against the idea of
committing herself alone to the disposal of a man whom she had lately been
accustomed to consider as the instrument of her treacherous relation
After having for some time revolved these considerations she thought of the
expedient of desiring Grimes to engage Mrs Jakemans sister to wait for her at
the outside of the garden But this Grimes peremptorily refused He even flew
into a passion at the proposal It showed very little gratitude to desire him
to disclose to other people his concern in this dangerous affair For his part
he was determined in consideration of his own safety never to appear in it to
any living soul If miss did not believe him when he made this proposal out of
pure good nature and would not trust him a single inch she might even see to
the consequences herself He was resolved to condescend no farther to the whims
of a person who in her treatment of him had shown herself as proud as Lucifer
himself
Emily exerted herself to appease his resentment but all the eloquence of
her new confederate could not prevail upon her instantly to give up her
objection She desired till the next day to consider of it The day after was
fixed by Mr Tyrrel for the marriage ceremony In the mean time she was pestered
with intimations in a thousand different forms of the fate that so nearly
awaited her The preparations were so continued methodical and regular as to
produce in her the most painful and aching anxiety If her heart attained a
moments intermission upon the subject her female attendant was sure by some
sly hint or sarcastical remark to put a speedy termination to her tranquillity
She felt herself as she afterwards remarked alone uninstructed just broken
loose as it were from the trammels of infancy without one single creature to
concern himself in her fate She who till then had never known an enemy had
now for three weeks not seen the glimpse of a human countenance that she had not
good reason to consider as wholly estranged to her at least if not
unrelentingly bent on her destruction She now for the first time experienced
the anguish of never having known her parents and being cast entirely upon the
charity of people with whom she had too little equality to hope to receive from
them the offices of friendship
The succeeding night was filled with the most anxious thoughts When a
momentary oblivion stole upon her senses her distempered imagination conjured
up a thousand images of violence and falshood she saw herself in the hands of
her determined enemies who did not hesitate by the most daring treachery to
complete her ruin Her waking thoughts were not more consoling The struggle was
too great for her constitution As morning approached she resolved at all
hazards to put herself into the hands of Grimes This determination was no
sooner made than she felt her heart sensibly lightened She could not conceive
any evil which could result from this proceeding that deserved to be put in the
balance against those which under the roof of her kinsman appeared
unavoidable
When she communicated her determination to Grimes it was not possible to
say whether he received pleasure or pain from the intimation He smiled indeed
but his smile was accompanied by a certain abrupt ruggedness of countenance so
that it might equally well be the smile of sarcasm or of congratulation He
however renewed his assurances of fidelity to his engagements and punctuality of
execution Meanwhile the day was interspersed with nuptial presents and
preparations all indicating the firmness as well as security of the directors
of the scene Emily had hoped that as the crisis approached they might have
remitted something of their usual diligence She was resolved in that case if a
fair opportunity had offered to give the slip both to her jailors and to her
new and reluctantly chosen confederate But though extremely vigilant for that
purpose she found the execution of the idea impracticable
At length the night so critical to her happiness approached The mind of
Emily could not fail on this occasion to be extremely agitated She had first
exerted all her perspicacity to elude the vigilance of her attendant This
insolent and unfeeling tyrant instead of any relentings had only sought to
make sport of her anxiety Accordingly in one instance she hid herself and
suffering Emily to suppose that the coast was clear met her at the end of the
gallery near the top of the staircase How do you do my dear said she with
an insulting tone And so the little dear thought itself cunning enough to
outwit me did it Oh it was a sly little gipsey Go go back love troop
Emily felt deeply the trick that was played upon her She sighed but disdained
to return any answer to this low vulgarity Being once more in her chamber she
sat down in a chair and remained buried in reverie for more than two hours
After this she went to her drawers and turned over in a hurrying confused way
her linen and clothes having in her mind the provision it would be necessary to
make for her elopement Her jailor officiously followed her from place to place
and observed what she did for the present in silence It was now the hour of
rest Good night child said this saucy girl in the act of retiring It is time
to lock up For the few next hours the time is your own Make the best use of
it Doee think ee can creep out at the key hole lovey At eight oclock you
see me again And then and then added she clapping her hands it is all over
The sun is not surer to rise than you and your honest man to be made one
There was something in the tone with which this slut uttered her farewel
that suggested the question to Emily What does she mean Is it possible she
should know what has been planned for the few next hours This was the first
moment that suspicion had offered itself and its continuance was short With
an aching heart she folded up the few necessaries she intended to take with her
She instinctively listened with an anxiety that would almost have enabled her to
hear the stirring of a leaf From time to time she thought her ear was struck
with the sound of feet but the treading if treading it were was so soft that
she could never ascertain whether it were a real sound or the mere creature of
the fancy Then all was still as if the universal motion had been at rest By
and by she conceived she overheard a noise as of buzzing and low muttered
speech Her heart palpitated for a second time she began to doubt the honesty
of Grimes The suggestion was now more anxious than before but it was too late
Presently she heard the sound of a key in her chamber door and the rustic made
his appearance She started and cried Are we discovered did not I hear you
speak Grimes advanced on tiptoe with his finger to his lip No no replied he
all is safe He took her by the hand led her in silence out of the house and
then across the garden Emily examined with her eye the doors and passages as
they proceeded and looked on all sides with fearful suspicion but every thing
was as vacant and still as she herself could have wished Grimes opened a back
door of the garden already unlocked that led into an unfrequented lane There
stood two horses ready equipped for the journey and fastened by their bridles
to a post not six yards distant from the garden Grimes pushed the door after
them By Gemini said he my heart was in my mouth As I comed along to you I
saw Mun coachey pop along from the back door to the stables He was within a
hop step and jump of me But he had a lanthorn in his hand and he did not see
me being as I was darkling Saying this he assisted miss Melvile to mount
He troubled her little during the route On the contrary he was remarkably
silent and contemplative a circumstance by no means disagreeable to Emily to
whom his conversation had never been acceptable
After having proceeded about two miles they turned into a wood through
which the road lay that led to the place of their destination The night was
extremely dark at the same time that the air was soft and mild it being now
the middle of summer Under pretence of exploring the way Grimes contrived
when they had already penetrated into the midst of this gloomy solitude to get
his horse abreast with that of miss Melvile and then suddenly reaching out his
hand seized hold of her bridle I think we may as well stop here a bit said
he
Stop exclaimed Emily with surprise Why should we stop Mr Grimes what do
you mean
Come come said he never trouble yourself to wonder Did you think I were
such a goose to take all this trouble merely to gratify your whim I faith
nobody shall find me a packhorse to go of other folks errands without
knowing a reason why I cannot say that I much minded to have you at first but
your ways are enough to stir the blood of my grandad Far fetched and dear
bought is always relishing Your consent was so hard to gain that squire
thought it was surest asking in the dark A said however a would have no such
doings in his house and so do you see we are come here
For Gods sake Mr Grimes think what you are about You cannot be base
enough to ruin a poor creature who has put herself under your protection
Ruin no no I will make an honest woman of you when all is done Nay
none of your airs no tricks upon travellers I have you here as safe as a horse
in a pound there is not a house nor a shed within a mile of us and if I miss
the opportunity call me spade Faith you are a delicate morsel and there is
no time to be lost
Miss Melvile had but an instant in which to collect her thoughts She felt
that there was little hope of softening the obstinate and insensible brute in
whose power she was placed But the presence of mind and intrepidity annexed to
her character did not now desert her Grimes had scarcely finished his
harangue when with a strong and unexpected jerk she disengaged the bridle from
his grasp and at the same time put her horse upon full speed She had scarcely
advanced twice the length of her horse when Grimes recovered from his surprise
and pursued her inexpressibly mortified at being so easily overreached The
sound of his horse behind served but to rouse more completely the mettle of that
of Emily whether by accident or sagacity the animal pursued without a fault the
narrow and winding way and the chase continued the whole length of the wood
At the extremity of this wood there was a gate The recollection of this
softened a little the cutting disappointment of Grimes as he thought himself
secure of putting an end by its assistance to the career of Emily nor was it
very probable that any body would appear to interrupt his designs in such a
place and in the dead and silence of the night By the most extraordinary
accident however they found a man on horseback in wait at this gate Help help
exclaimed the affrighted Emily thieves murder help The man was Mr Falkland
Grimes knew his voice and therefore though he attempted a sort of sullen
resistance it was feebly made Two other men whom by reason of the darkness he
had not at first seen and who were Mr Falklands servants hearing the bustle
of the rencounter and alarmed for the safety of their master rode up and then
Grimes disappointed at the loss of his gratification and admonished by
conscious guilt shrunk from farther parley and rode off in silence
It may seem strange that Mr Falkland should thus a second time have been
the saviour of miss Melvile and that under circumstances the most unexpected
and singular But in this instance it is easily to be accounted for He had
heard of a man who lurked about this wood for robbery or some other bad design
and that it was conjectured this man was Hawkins another of the victims of Mr
Tyrrels rural tyranny whom I shall immediately have occasion to introduce Mr
Falklands compassion had already been strongly excited in favour of Hawkins he
had in vain endeavoured to find him and do him good and he easily conceived
that if the conjecture which had been made in this instance proved true he
might have it in his power not only to do what he had always intended but
farther to save from a perilous offence against the laws and society a man who
appeared to have strongly imbibed the principles of justice and virtue He took
with him two servants because going with the express design of encountering
robbers if robbers should be found he believed he should be inexcusable if he
did not go provided against possible accidents But he had directed them at the
same time that they kept within call to be out of the reach of being seen and
it was only the eagerness of their zeal that had brought them up thus early in
the present encounter
This new adventure promised something extraordinary Mr Falkland did not
immediately recognise miss Melvile and the person of Grimes was that of a total
stranger whom he did not recollect to have ever seen But it was easy to
understand the merits of the case and the propriety of interfering The
resolute manner of Mr Falkland combined with the dread which Grimes oppressed
with a sense of wrong entertained of the opposition of so elevated a personage
speedily put the ravisher to flight Emily was left alone with her deliverer He
found her much more collected and calm than could reasonably have been expected
from a person who had been a moment before in the most alarming situation She
told him of the place to which she desired to be conveyed and he immediately
undertook to escort her As they went along she recovered that state of mind
which inclined her to make a person to whom she had such repeated obligations
and who was so eminently the object of her admiration acquainted with the
events that had recently befallen her Mr Falkland listened with eagerness and
surprise Though he had already known various instances of Mr Tyrrels mean
jealousy and unfeeling tyranny this surpassed them all and he could scarcely
credit his ears while he heard the tale His brutal neighbour seemed to realise
all that has been told of the passions of fiends Miss Melvile was obliged to
repeat in the course of her tale her kinsmans rude accusation against her of
entertaining a passion for Mr Falkland and this she did with the most
bewitching simplicity and charming confusion Though this part of the tale was a
source of real pain to her deliverer yet it is not to be supposed but that the
flattering partiality of this unhappy girl increased the interest he felt in her
welfare and the indignation he conceived against her infernal kinsman
They arrived without accident at the house of the good lady under whose
protection Emily desired to place herself Here Mr Falkland willingly left her
as in a place of security Such conspiracies as that of which she was intended
to have been the victim depend for their success upon the person against whom
they are formed being out of the reach of help and the moment they are detected
they are annihilated Such reasoning will no doubt be generally found
sufficiently solid and it appeared to Mr Falkland perfectly applicable to the
present case But he was mistaken
Chapter IX
Mr Falkland had experienced the nullity of all expostulation with Mr Tyrrel
and was therefore content in the present case with confining his attention to
the intended victim The indignation with which he thought of his neighbours
character was now grown to such a height as to fill him with reluctance to the
idea of a voluntary interview There was indeed another affair which had been
contemporary with this that had once more brought these mortal enemies into a
state of contest and had contributed to raise into a temper little short of
madness the already inflamed and corrosive bitterness of Mr Tyrrel
There was a tenant of Mr Tyrrel one Hawkins I cannot mention his name
without recollecting the painful tragedies that are annexed to it This Hawkins
had originally been taken up by Mr Tyrrel with a view of protecting him from
the arbitrary proceedings of a neighbouring squire though he had now in his
turn become an object of persecution to Mr Tyrrel himself The first ground of
their connection was this Hawkins beside a farm which he rented under the
abovementioned squire had a small freehold estate that he inherited from his
father This of course entitled him to a vote in the county elections and a
warmly contested election having occurred he was required by his landlord to
vote for the candidate in whose favour he had himself engaged Hawkins refused
to obey the mandate and soon after received notice to quit the farm he at that
time rented
It happened that Mr Tyrrel had interested himself strongly in behalf of the
opposite candidate and as Mr Tyrrels estate bordered upon the seat of
Hawkinss present residence the ejected countryman could think of no better
expedient than that of riding over to this gentlemans mansion and relating the
case to him Mr Tyrrel heard him through with attention Well friend said he
it is very true that I wished Mr Jackman to carry his election but you know it
is usual in these cases for tenants to vote just as their landlords please I do
not think proper to encourage rebellion All that is very right and please
you replied Hawkins and I would have voted at my landlords bidding for any
other man in the kingdom but squire Marlow You must know one day his huntsman
rode over my fence and so through my best field of standing corn It was not
above a dozen yards about if he had kept the cartroad The fellow had served
me the same sauce an it please your honour three or four times before So I
only asked him What he did that for and whether he had not more conscience
than to spoil peoples crops o that fashion Presently the squire came up He
is but a poor weazenface chicken of a gentleman saving your honours
reverence And so he flew into a woundy passion and threatened to horsewhip me
I will do as much in reason to pleasure my landlord as arr a tenant he has but
I will not give my vote to a man that threatens to horsewhip me And so your
honour I and my wife and three children are to be turned out of house and home
and what I am to do to maintain them God knows I have been a hardworking man
and have alway lived very well and I do think the case is main hard Squire
Underwood turns me out of my farm and if your honour do not take me in I know
none of the neighbouring gentry will for fear as they say of encouraging their
own tenants to run rusty too
This representation was not without its effect upon Mr Tyrrel Well well
man replied he we will see what can be done Order and subordination are very
good things but people should know how much to require As you tell the story
I cannot see that you are greatly to blame Marlow is a coxcombical prig that
is the truth ont and if a man will expose himself why he must even take
what follows I do hate a Frenchified fop with all my soul and I cannot say
that I am much pleased with my neighbour Underwood for taking the part of such a
rascal Hawkins I think is your name You may call on Barnes my steward
tomorrow and he shall speak to you
While Mr Tyrrel was speaking he recollected that he had a farm vacant of
nearly the same value as that which Hawkins at present rented under Mr
Underwood He immediately consulted his steward and finding the thing suitable
in every respect Hawkins was installed out of hand into the catalogue of Mr
Tyrrels tenants Mr Underwood extremely resented this proceeding which
indeed as being contrary to the understood conventions of the country
gentlemen few people but Mr Tyrrel would have ventured upon There was an end
said Mr Underwood to all regulation if tenants were to be encouraged in such
disobedience It was not a question of this or that candidate seeing that any
gentleman who was a true friend to his country would rather lose his election
than do a thing which if once established into a practice would deprive them
for ever of the power of managing any election The labouring people were sturdy
and resolute enough of their own accord it became every day more difficult to
keep them under any subordination and if the gentlemen were so illadvised as
to neglect the public good and encourage them in their insolence there was no
foreseeing where it would end
Mr Tyrrel was not of a stamp to be influenced by these remonstrances Their
general spirit was sufficiently conformable to the sentiments he himself
entertained but he was of too vehement a temper to maintain the character of a
consistent politician and however wrong his conduct might be he would by no
means admit of its being set right by the suggestions of others The more his
patronage of Hawkins was criticised the more inflexibly he adhered to it and
he was at no loss in clubs and other assemblies to overbear and silence if not
to confute his censurers Beside which Hawkins had certain accomplishments
which qualified him to be a favourite with Mr Tyrrel The bluntness of his
manner and the ruggedness of his temper gave him some resemblance to his
landlord and as these qualities were likely to be more frequently exercised on
such persons as had incurred Mr Tyrrels displeasure than upon Mr Tyrrel
himself they were not observed without some degree of complacency In a word
he every day received new marks of distinction from his patron and after some
time was appointed coadjutor to Mr Barnes under the denomination of bailiff It
was about the same period that he obtained a lease of the farm of which he was
tenant
Mr Tyrrel was determined as occasion offered to promote every part of the
family of this favoured dependent Hawkins had a son a lad of seventeen of an
agreeable person a ruddy complexion and of quick and lively parts This lad
was in an uncommon degree the favourite of his father who seemed to have
nothing so much at heart as the future welfare of his son Mr Tyrrel had
noticed him two or three times with approbation and the boy being fond of the
sports of the field had occasionally followed the hounds and displayed various
instances both of agility and sagacity in presence of the squire One day in
particular he exhibited himself with uncommon advantage and Mr Tyrrel without
farther delay proposed to his father to take him into his family and make him
whipperin to his hounds till he could provide him with some more lucrative
appointment in his service
This proposal was received by Hawkins with various marks of mortification
He excused himself with hesitation for not accepting the offered favour said
the lad was in many ways useful to him and hoped his honour would not insist
upon depriving him of his assistance This apology might perhaps have been
sufficient with any other man than Mr Tyrrel but it was frequently observed of
this gentleman that when he had once formed a determination however slight in
favour of any measure he was never afterwards known to give it up and that the
only effect of opposition was to make him eager and inflexible in pursuit of
that to which he had before been nearly indifferent At first he seemed to
receive the apology of Hawkins with good humour and to see nothing in it but
what was reasonable but afterwards every time he saw the boy his desire of
retaining him in his service was increased and he more than once repeated to
his father the good disposition in which he felt himself towards him At length
he observed that the lad was no more to be seen mingling in his favourite
sports and he began to suspect that this originated in a determination to
thwart him in his projects
Roused by this suspicion which to a man of Mr Tyrrels character was not
of a nature to brook delay he sent for Hawkins to confer with him Hawkins
said he in a tone of displeasure I am not satisfied with you I have spoken to
you two or three times about this lad of yours whom I am desirous of taking
into favour What is the reason sir that you seem unthankful and averse to my
kindness You ought to know that I am not to be trifled with I shall not be
contented when I offer my favours to have them rejected by such fellows as you
I made you what you are and if I please can make you more helpless and
miserable than you were when I found you Have a care
An it please your honour said Hawkins you have been a very good master to
me and I will tell you the whole truth I hope you will na be angry This lad
is my favourite my comfort and the stay of my age
Well and what then Is that a reason you should hinder his preferment
Nay pray your honour hear me I may be very weak for aught I know in this
case but I cannot help it My father was a clergyman We have all of us lived
in a creditable way and I cannot bear to think that this poor lad of mine
should go to service For my part I do not see any good that comes by servants
I do not know your honour but I think I should not like my Leonard to be
such as they God forgive me if I wrong them But this is a very dear case and
I cannot bear to risk my poor boys welfare when I can so easily if you
please keep him out of harms way At present he is sober and industrious and
without being pert or surly knows what is due to him I know your honour that
it is main foolish of me to talk to you thus but your honour has been a good
master to me and I cannot bear to tell you a lie
Mr Tyrrel had heard the whole of this harangue in silence because he was
too much astonished to open his mouth If a thunderbolt had fallen at his feet
he could not have testified greater surprise He had thought that Hawkins was so
foolishly fond of his son that he could not bear to trust him out of his
presence but had never in the slightest degree suspected what he now found to
be the truth
Oh ho you are a gentleman are you A pretty gentleman truly Your father
was a clergyman Your family is too good to enter into my service Why you
impudent rascal Was it for this that I took you up when Mr Underwood
dismissed you for your insolence to him Have I been nursing a viper in my
bosom Pretty masters manners will be contaminated truly He will not know what
is due to him but will be accustomed to obey orders You insufferable villain
Get out of my sight Depend upon it I will have no gentlemen on my estate I
will off with them root and branch bag and baggage So do you hear sir come
to me tomorrow morning bring your son and ask my pardon or take my word for
it I will make you so miserable you shall wish you had never been born
This treatment was too much for Hawkinss patience There is no need your
honour that I should come to you again about this affair I have taken up my
determination and no time can make any change in it I am main sorry to
displease your worship and I know that you can do me a great deal of mischief
But I hope you will not be so hard hearted as to ruin a father only for being
fond of his child even if so be that his fondness should make him do a foolish
thing But I cannot help it your honour you must do as you please The poorest
neger as a man may say has some point that he will not part with I will lose
all that I have and go to daylabour and my son too if needs must but I will
not make a gentlemans servant of him
Very well friend very well replied Tyrrel foaming with rage Depend upon
it I will remember you Your pride shall have a downfal God damn it is it
come to this Shall a rascal that farms his forty acres pretend to beard the
lord of the manor I will tread you into paste Let me advise you scoundrel to
shut up your house and fly as if the devil was behind you You may think
yourself happy if I be not too quick for you yet if you escape in a whole
skin I would not suffer such a villain to remain upon my land a day longer if
I could gain the Indies by it
Not so fast your honour answered Hawkins sturdily I hope you will think
better of it and see that I have not been to blame But if you should not
there is some harm that you can do me and some harm that you cannot Though I
am a plain working man your honour do you see yet I am a man still No I
have got a lease of my farm and I shall not quit it othaten I hope there is
some law for poor folk as well as for rich
Mr Tyrrel unused to contradiction was provoked beyond bearing at the
courage and independent spirit of his retainer There was not a tenant upon his
estate or at least not one of Hawkinss mediocrity of fortune whom the general
policy of land owners and still more the arbitrary and uncontrolable temper of
Mr Tyrrel did not effectually restrain from acts of open defiance
Excellent upon my soul God damn my blood but you are a rare fellow You
have a lease have you You will not quit not you A pretty pass things are
come to if a lease can protect such fellows as you against the lord of a manor
But you are for a trial of skill Oh very well friend very well With all my
soul Since it is come to that we will show you some pretty sport before we
have done But get out of my sight you rascal I have not another word to say
to you Never darken my doors again
Hawkins to borrow the language of the world was guilty in this affair of a
double imprudence He talked to his landlord in a more peremptory manner than
the constitution and practices of this country allow a dependent to assume But
above all having been thus hurried away by his resentment he ought to have
foreseen the consequences It was mere madness in him to think of contesting
with a man of Mr Tyrrels eminence and fortune It was a fawn contending with a
lion Nothing could have been more easy to predict than that it was of no avail
for him to have right on his side when his adversary had influence and wealth
and therefore could so victoriously justify any extravagancies that he might
think proper to commit This maxim was completely illustrated in the sequel
Wealth and despotism easily know how to engage those laws as the coadjutors of
their oppression which were perhaps at first intended witless and miserable
precaution for the safeguards of the poor
From this moment Mr Tyrrel was bent upon Hawkinss destruction and he left
no means unemployed that could either harass or injure the object of his
persecution He deprived him of his appointment of bailiff and directed Barnes
and his other dependents to do him ill offices upon all occasions Mr Tyrrel by
the tenure of his manor was impropriator of the great tithes and this
circumstance afforded him frequent opportunities of petty altercation The land
of one part of Hawkinss farm though covered with corn was lower than the
rest and consequently exposed to occasional inundations from a river by which
it was bounded Mr Tyrrel had a dam belonging to this river privately cut about
a fortnight before the season of harvest and laid the whole under water He
ordered his servants to pull away the fences of the higher ground during the
night and to turn in his cattle to the utter destruction of the crop These
expedients however applied to only one part of the property of this unfortunate
man But Mr Tyrrel did not stop here A sudden mortality took place among
Hawkinss live stock attended with very suspicious circumstances Hawkinss
vigilance was strongly excited by this event and he at length succeeded in
tracing the matter so accurately that he conceived he could bring it home to Mr
Tyrrel himself
Hawkins had hitherto carefully avoided notwithstanding the injuries he had
suffered the attempting to right himself by legal process being of opinion
that law was better adapted for a weapon of tyranny in the hands of the rich
than for a shield to protect the humbler part of the community against their
usurpations In this last instance however he conceived that the offence was so
atrocious as to make it impossible that any rank could protect the culprit
against the severity of justice In the sequel he saw reason to applaud himself
for his former inactivity in this respect and to repent that any motive had
been strong enough to persuade him into a contrary system
This was the very point to which Mr Tyrrel wanted to bring him and he
could scarcely credit his good fortune when he was told that Hawkins had
entered an action His congratulation upon this occasion was immoderate as he
now conceived that the ruin of his late favourite was irretrievable He
consulted his attorney and urged him by every motive he could devise to employ
the whole series of his subterfuges in the present affair The direct repelling
of the charge exhibited against him was the least part of his care the business
was by affidavits motions pleas demurrers flaws and appeals to protract
the question from term to term and from court to court It would as Mr Tyrrel
argued be the disgrace of a civilized country if a gentleman when insolently
attacked in law by the scum of the earth could not convert the cause into a
question of the longest purse and stick in the skirts of his adversary till he
had reduced him to beggary
Mr Tyrrel however was by no means so far engrossed by his lawsuit as to
neglect other methods of proceeding offensively against his tenant Among the
various expedients that suggested themselves there was one which though it
tended rather to torment than irreparably injure the sufferer was not rejected
This was derived from the particular situation of Hawkinss house barns stacks
and outhouses They were placed at the extremity of a slip of land connecting
them with the rest of the farm and were surrounded on three sides by fields in
the occupation of one of Mr Tyrrels tenants most devoted to the pleasures of
his landlord The road to the market town ran at the bottom of the largest of
these fields and was directly in view of the front of the house No
inconvenience had yet arisen from that circumstance as there had always been a
broad path that intersected this field and led directly from Hawkinss house
to the road This path or private road was now by concert of Mr Tyrrel and
his obliging tenant shut up so as to make Hawkins a sort of prisoner in his own
domains and oblige him to go near a mile about for the purposes of his traffic
Young Hawkins the lad who had been the original subject of dispute between
his father and the squire had much of his fathers spirit and felt an
uncontrolable indignation against the successive acts of despotism of which he
was a witness His resentment was the greater because the sufferings to which
his parent was exposed all of them flowed from affection to him at the same
time that he could not propose removing the ground of dispute as by so doing he
would seem to fly in the face of his fathers paternal kindness Upon the
present occasion without asking any counsel but of his own impatient
resentment he went in the middle of the night and removed all the obstructions
that had been placed in the way of the old path broke the padlocks that had
been fixed and threw open the gates In these operations he did not proceed
unobserved and the next day a warrant was issued for apprehending him He was
accordingly carried before a meeting of justices and by them committed to the
county jail to take his trial for the felony at the next assizes Mr Tyrrel
was determined to prosecute the offence with the greatest severity and his
attorney having made the proper enquiries for that purpose undertook to bring
it under that clause of the act 9 Geo I commonly called The Black Act which
declares that »any person armed with a sword or other offensive weapon and
having his face blacked or being otherwise disguised appearing in any warren
or place where hares or conies have been or shall be usually kept and being
thereof duly convicted shall be adjudged guilty of felony and shall suffer
death as in cases of felony without benefit of clergy« Young Hawkins it
seemed had buttoned the cape of his great coat over his face as soon as he
perceived himself to be observed and he was furnished with a wrenchingiron for
the purpose of breaking the padlocks The attorney further undertook to prove
by sufficient witnesses that the field in question was a warren in which hares
were regularly fed Mr Tyrrel seized upon these pretences with inexpressible
satisfaction He prevailed upon the justices by the picture he drew of the
obstinacy and insolence of the Hawkinses fully to commit the lad upon this
miserable charge and it was by no means so certain as paternal affection would
have desired that the same overpowering influence would not cause in the sequel
the penal clause to be executed in all its strictness
This was the finishing stroke to Hawkinss miseries As he was not deficient
in courage he had stood up against his other persecutions without flinching He
was not unaware of the advantages which our laws and customs give to the rich
over the poor in contentions of this kind But being once involved there was a
stubbornness in his nature that would not allow him to retract and he suffered
himself to hope rather than expect a favourable issue But in this last event he
was wounded in the point that was nearest his heart He had feared to have his
son contaminated and debased by a servile station and he now saw him
transferred to the seminary of a jail He was even uncertain as to the issue of
his imprisonment and trembled to think what the tyranny of wealth might effect
to blast his hopes for ever
From this moment his heart died within him He had trusted to persevering
industry and skill to save the wreck of his little property from the vulgar
spite of his landlord But he had now no longer any spirit to exert those
efforts which his situation more than ever required Mr Tyrrel proceeded
without remission in his machinations Hawkinss affairs every day grew more
desperate and the squire watching the occasion took the earliest opportunity
of seizing upon his remaining property in the mode of a distress for rent
It was precisely in this stage of the affair that Mr Falkland and Mr
Tyrrel accidentally met in a private road near the habitation of the latter
They were on horseback and Mr Falkland was going to the house of the
unfortunate tenant who seemed upon the point of perishing under his landlords
malice He had been just made acquainted with the tale of this persecution It
had indeed been an additional aggravation of Hawkinss calamity that Mr
Falkland whose interference might otherwise have saved him had been absent
from the neighbourhood for a considerable time He had been three months in
London and from thence had gone to visit his estates in another part of the
island The proud and selfconfident spirit of this poor fellow always disposed
him to depend as long as possible upon his own exertions He had avoided
applying to Mr Falkland or indeed indulging himself in any manner in
communicating and bewailing his hard hap in the beginning of the contention
and when the extremity grew more urgent and he would have been willing to
recede in some degree from the stubbornness of his measures he found it no
longer in his power After an absence of considerable duration Mr Falkland at
length returned somewhat unexpectedly and having learned among the first
articles of country intelligence the distresses of this unfortunate yeoman he
resolved to ride over to his house the next morning and surprise him with all
the relief it was in his power to bestow
At sight of Mr Tyrrel in this unexpected rencounter his face reddened with
indignation His first feeling as he afterwards said was to avoid him but
finding that he must pass him he conceived that it would be a want of spirit
not to acquaint him with his feelings on the present occasion
Mr Tyrrel said he somewhat abruptly I am sorry for a piece of news which
I have just heard
And pray sir what is your sorrow to me
A great deal sir It is caused by the distresses of a poor tenant of yours
Hawkins If your steward has proceeded without your authority I think it right
to inform you of what he has done and if he has had your authority I would
gladly persuade you to think better of it
Mr Falkland it would be quite as well if you would mind your own business
and leave me to mind mine I want no monitor and I will have none
You mistake Mr Tyrrel I am minding my own business If I see you fall
into a pit it is my business to draw you out and save your life If I see you
pursuing a wrong mode of conduct it is my business to set you right and save
your honour
Zounds sir do not think to put your conundrums upon me Is not the man my
tenant Is not my estate my own What signifies calling it mine if I am not to
have the direction of it Sir I pay for what I have I owe no man a penny and
I will not put my estate to nurse to you nor the best he that wears a head
It is very true said Mr Falkland avoiding any direct notice of the last
words of Mr Tyrrel that there is a distinction of ranks I believe that
distinction is a good thing and necessary to the peace of mankind But however
necessary it may be we must acknowledge that it puts some hardship upon the
lower orders of society It makes ones heart ache to think that one man is born
to the inheritance of every superfluity while the whole share of another
without any demerit of his is drudgery and starving and that all this is
indispensible We that are rich Mr Tyrrel must do every thing in our power to
lighten the yoke of these unfortunate people We must not use the advantage that
accident has given us with an unmerciful hand Poor wretches they are pressed
almost beyond bearing as it is and if we unfeelingly give another turn to the
machine they will be crushed into atoms
This picture was not without its effect even upon the obdurate mind of Mr
Tyrrel Well sir I am no tyrant I know very well that tyranny is a bad
thing But you do not infer from thence that these people are to do as they
please and never to meet with their deserts
Mr Tyrrel I see that you are shaken in your animosity Suffer me to hail
the newborn benevolence of your nature Go with me to Hawkins Do not let us
talk of his deserts Poor fellow he has suffered almost all that human nature
can endure Let your forgiveness upon this occasion be the earnest of good
neighbourhood and friendship between you and me
No sir I will not go I own there is something in what you say I always
knew you had the wit to make good your own story and tell a plausible tale But
I will not be come over thus It has been my character when I had once
conceived a scheme of vengeance never to forego it and I will not change that
character I took up Hawkins when every body forsook him and made a man of him
and the ungrateful rascal has only insulted me for my pains Curse me if ever I
forgive him It would be a good jest indeed if I were to forgive the insolence
of my own creature at the desire of a man like you that has been my perpetual
plague
For Gods sake Mr Tyrrel have some reason in your resentment Let us
suppose that Hawkins has behaved unjustifiably and insulted you Is that an
offence that can never be expiated Must the father be ruined and the son
hanged to glut your resentment
Damn me sir but you may talk your heart out you shall get nothing of me
I shall never forgive myself for having listened to you for a moment I will
suffer nobody to stop the stream of my resentment if I ever were to forgive
him it should be at nobodys intreaty but my own But sir I never will If he
and all his family were at my feet I would order them all to be hanged the next
minute if my power were as good as my will
And that is your decision is it Mr Tyrrel I am ashamed of you Almighty
God to hear you talk gives one a loathing for the institutions and regulations
of society and would induce one to fly the very face of man But no society
casts you out man abominates you No wealth no rank can buy out your stain
You will live deserted in the midst of your species you will go into crowded
societies and no one will deign so much as to salute you They will fly from
your glance as they would from the gaze of a basilisk Where do you expect to
find the hearts of flint that shall sympathize with yours You have the stamp
of misery incessant undivided unpitied misery
Thus saying Mr Falkland gave spurs to his horse rudely pushed beside Mr
Tyrrel and was presently out of sight Flaming indignation annihilated even his
favourite sense of honour and he regarded his neighbour as a wretch with whom
it was impossible even to enter into contention For the latter he remained for
the present motionless and petrified The glowing enthusiasm of Mr Falkland was
such as might well have unnerved the stoutest foe Mr Tyrrel in spite of
himself was blasted with the compunctions of guilt and unable to string
himself for the contest The picture Mr Falkland had drawn was prophetic It
described what Mr Tyrrel chiefly feared and what in its commencements he
thought he already felt It was responsive to the whispering of his own
meditations it simply gave body and voice to the spectre that haunted him and
to the terrors of which he was an hourly prey
By and by however he recovered The more he had been temporarily confounded
the fiercer was his resentment when he came to himself Such hatred never
existed in a human bosom without marking its progress with violence and death
Mr Tyrrel however felt no inclination to have recourse to personal defiance He
was the furthest in the world from a coward but his genius sunk before the
genius of Falkland He left his vengeance to the disposal of circumstances He
was secure that his animosity would neither be forgotten nor diminished by the
interposition of any time or events Vengeance was his nightly dream and the
uppermost of his waking thoughts
Mr Falkland had departed from this conference with a confirmed
disapprobation of the conduct of his neighbour and an unalterable resolution to
do every thing in his power to relieve the distresses of Hawkins But he was too
late When he arrived he found the house already evacuated by its master The
family was removed nobody knew whither Hawkins was absconded and what was
still more extraordinary the boy Hawkins had escaped on the very same day from
the county jail The enquiries Mr Falkland set on foot after them were
fruitless no traces could be found of the catastrophe of these unhappy people
That catastrophe I shall shortly have occasion to relate and it will be found
pregnant with horror beyond what the blackest misanthropy could readily have
suggested
I go on with my tale I go on to relate those incidents in which my own fate
was so mysteriously involved I lift the curtain and bring forward the last act
of the tragedy
Chapter X
It may easily be supposed that the ill temper cherished by Mr Tyrrel in his
contention with Hawkins and the increasing animosity between him and Mr
Falkland added to the impatience with which he thought of the escape of Emily
Mr Tyrrel heard with astonishment of the miscarriage of an expedient of
the success of which he had not previously entertained the slightest suspicion
He became frantic with vexation Grimes had not dared to signify the event of
his expedition in person and the footman whom he desired to announce to his
master that miss Melvile was lost the moment after fled from his presence with
the most dreadful apprehensions Presently he bellowed for Grimes and the young
man at last appeared before him more dead than alive Grimes he compelled to
repeat the particulars of the tale which he had no sooner done than he once
again slunk away shocked at the execrations with which Mr Tyrrel overwhelmed
him Grimes was no coward but he reverenced the inborn divinity that attends
upon rank as Indians worship the devil Nor was this all The rage of Mr
Tyrrel was so ungovernable and fierce that few hearts could have been found so
stout as not to have trembled before it with a sort of unconquerable
inferiority
He no sooner obtained a moments pause than he began to recal to his
tempestuous mind the various circumstances of the case His complaints were
bitter and in a tranquil observer might have produced the united feeling of
pity for his sufferings and horror at his depravity He recollected all the
precautions he had used he could scarcely find a flaw in the process and he
cursed that blind and malicious power which delighted to cross his most deep
laid schemes Of this malice he was beyond all other human beings the object He
was mocked with the shadow of power and when he lifted his hand to smite it
was struck with sudden palsy In the bitterness of his anguish he forgot his
recent triumph over Hawkins or perhaps he regarded it less as a triumph than
an overthrow because it had failed of coming up to the extent of his malice
To what purpose had heaven given him a feeling of injury and an instinct to
resent while he could in no case make his resentment felt It was only
necessary for him to be the enemy of any person to insure that persons being
safe against the reach of misfortune What insults the most shocking and
repeated had he received from this paltry girl And by whom was she now torn
from his indignation By that devil that haunted him at every moment that
crossed him at every step that fixed at pleasure his arrows in his heart and
made mows and mockery at his insufferable tortures
There was one other reflexion that increased his anguish and made him
careless and desperate as to his future conduct It was in vain to conceal from
himself that his reputation would be cruelly wounded by this event He had
imagined that while Emily was forced into this odious marriage she would be
obliged by decorum as soon as the event was decided to draw a veil over the
compulsion she had suffered But this security was now lost and Mr Falkland
would take a pride in publishing his dishonour Though the provocations he had
received from miss Melvile would in his own opinion have justified him in any
treatment he should have thought proper to inflict he was sensible the world
would see the matter in a different light This reflexion augmented the violence
of his resolutions and determined him to refuse no means by which he could
transfer the anguish that now preyed upon his own mind to that of another
Meanwhile the composure and magnanimity of Emily had considerably subsided
the moment she believed herself in a place of safety While danger and injustice
assailed her with their menaces she found in herself a courage that disdained
to yield The succeeding appearance of calm was more fatal to her There was
nothing now powerfully to foster her courage or excite her energy She looked
back at the trials she had passed and her soul sickened at the recollection of
that which while it was in act she had had the fortitude to endure Till the
period at which Mr Tyrrel had been inspired with this cruel antipathy she had
been in all instances a stranger to anxiety and fear Uninured to misfortune
she had suddenly and without preparation been made the subject of the most
infernal malignity When a man of robust and vigorous constitution has a fit of
sickness it produces a much more powerful effect than the same indisposition
upon a delicate valetudinarian Such was the case with miss Melvile She passed
the succeeding night sleepless and uneasy and was found in the morning with a
high fever Her distemper resisted for the present all attempts to assuage it
though there was reason to hope that the goodness of her constitution assisted
by tranquillity and the kindness of those about her would ultimately surmount
it On the second day she was delirious On the night of that day she was
arrested at the suit of Mr Tyrrel for a debt contracted for board and
necessaries for the last fourteen years
The idea of this arrest as the reader will perhaps recollect first
occurred in the conversation between Mr Tyrrel and miss Melvile soon after he
had thought proper to confine her to her chamber But at that time he had
probably no serious conception of ever being induced to carry it into execution
It had merely been mentioned by way of threat and as the suggestion of a mind
whose habits had long been accustomed to contemplate every possible medium of
tyranny and revenge But now that the unlookedfor rescue and escape of his poor
kinswoman had wrought up his thoughts to a degree of insanity and that he
revolved in the gloomy recesses of his mind how he might best shake off the load
of disappointment which oppressed him the idea recurred with double force He
was not long in forming his resolution and calling for Barnes his steward
immediately gave him directions in what manner to proceed
Barnes had been for several years the instrument of Mr Tyrrels injustice
His mind was hardened by use and he could without remorse officiate as the
spectator or even as the author and director of a scene of vulgar distress But
even he was somewhat startled upon the present occasion The character and
conduct of Emily in Mr Tyrrels family had been without a blot She had not a
single enemy and it was impossible to contemplate her youth her vivacity and
her guileless innocence without emotions of sympathy and compassion
Your worship I do not understand you Arrest miss miss Emily
Yes I tell you What is the matter with you Go instantly to Swineard the
lawyer and bid him finish the business out of hand
Lord love your honour Arrest her Why she does not owe you a brass
farthing she always lived upon your charity
Ass Scoundrel I tell you she does owe me owes me eleven hundred pound
The law justifies it What do you think laws were made for I do nothing
but right and right I will have
Your honour I never questioned your orders in my life but I must now I
cannot see you ruin miss Emily poor girl nay and yourself too for the matter
of that and not say which way you are going I hope you will bear with me Why
if she owed you ever so much she cannot be arrested She is not of age
Will you have done Do not tell me of It cannot and It can It has been
done before and it shall be done again Let him dispute it that dares I will
do it now and stand to it afterwards Tell Swineard if he make the least
boggling it is as much as his life is worth he shall starve by inches
Pray your honour think better of it Upon my life the whole country will
cry shame of it
Barnes What do you mean I am not used to be talked to and I cannot bear
it You have been a good fellow to me upon many occasions But if I find you
out for making one with them that dispute my authority damn my soul if I do
not make you sick of your life
I have done your honour I will not say another word except this I have
heard as how that miss Emily is sick abed You are determined you say to put
her in jail You do not mean to kill her I take it
Let her die I will not spare her for an hour I will not always be
insulted She had no consideration for me and I have no mercy for her I am in
for it They have provoked me past all bearing and they shall feel me Tell
Swineard in bed or up day or night I will not have him hear of an instants
delay
Such were the directions of Mr Tyrrel and in strict conformity to his
directions were the proceedings of that respectable limb of the law he employed
upon the present occasion Miss Melvile had been delirious through a
considerable part of the day on the evening of which the bailiff and his
follower arrived By the direction of the physician whom Mr Falkland had
ordered to attend her a composing draught was administered and exhausted as
she was by the wild and distracted images that for several hours had haunted her
fancy she was now sunk into a refreshing slumber Mrs Hammond the sister of
Mrs Jakeman was sitting by her bedside full of compassion for the lovely
sufferer and rejoicing in the calm tranquillity that had just taken possession
of her when a little girl the only child of Mrs Hammond opened the
streetdoor to the rap of the bailiff He said he wanted to speak with miss
Melvile and the child answered that she would go tell her mother So saying
she advanced to the door of the backroom upon the groundfloor in which Emily
lay but the moment it was opened instead of waiting for the appearance of the
mother the bailiff entered along with the girl
Mrs Hammond looked up Who are you said she Why do you come in here
Hush be quiet
I must speak with miss Melvile
Indeed but you must not Tell me your business The poor child has been
lightheaded all day She is just fallen asleep and must not be disturbed
That is no business of mine I must obey orders
Orders Whose orders What is it you mean
At this moment Emily opened her eyes What noise is that Pray let me be
quiet
Miss I want to speak with you I have got a writ against you for eleven
hundred pound at the suit of squire Tyrrel
At these words both Mrs Hammond and Emily were dumb The latter was
scarcely able to annex any meaning to the intelligence and though Mrs Hammond
was somewhat better acquainted with the sort of language that was employed yet
in this strange and unexpected connection it was almost as mysterious to her as
to poor Emily herself
A writ How can she be in Mr Tyrrels debt A writ against a child
It is no signification putting your questions to us We only do as we are
directed There is our authority Look at it
Lord Almighty exclaimed Mrs Hammond what does this mean It is impossible
Mr Tyrrel should have sent you
Good woman none of your jabber to us Cannot you read
This is all a trick The paper is forged It is a vile contrivance to get
the poor orphan out of the hands of those with whom only she can be safe
Proceed upon it at your peril
Rest you content that is exactly what we mean to do Take it at my word we
know very well what we are about
Why you would not tear her from her bed I tell you she is in a high
fever she is lightheaded it would be death to remove her You are bailiffs
are not you You are not murderers
The law says nothing about that We have orders to take her sick or well We
will do her no harm except so far as we must perform our office be it how it
will
Where would you take her What is it you mean to do
To the county jail Bullock go order a postchaise from the Griffin
Stay I say Give no such orders Wait only three hours I will send off a
messenger express to squire Falkland and I am sure he will satisfy you as to
any harm that can come to you without its being necessary to take the poor
child to jail
We have particular directions against that We are not at liberty to lose a
minute Why are not you gone Order the horses to be put to immediately
Emily had listened to the course of this conversation which had
sufficiently explained to her whatever was enigmatical at the first appearance
of the bailiffs The painful and incredible reality that was thus presented
effectually dissipated the illusions of frenzy to which she had just been a
prey My dear madam said she to Mrs Hammond do not harass yourself with
useless efforts I am very sorry for all the trouble I have given you But my
misfortune is inevitable Sir if you will step into the next room I will dress
myself and attend you immediately
Mrs Hammond began to be equally aware that her struggles were to no
purpose but she could not be equally patient At one moment she raved upon the
brutality of Mr Tyrrel whom she affirmed to be a devil incarnate and not a
man At another she expostulated with bitter invective against the
hardheartedness of the bailiff and exhorted him to mix some humanity and
moderation with the discharge of his function but he was impenetrable to all
she could urge In the mean while Emily yielded with the sweetest resignation to
an inevitable evil Mrs Hammond insisted that at least they should permit her
to attend her young lady in the chaise and the bailiff though the orders he
had received were so peremptory that he dared not exercise his discretion as to
the execution of the writ began to have some apprehensions of danger and was
willing to admit of any precaution that was not in direct hostility to his
functions For the rest he understood that it was in all cases dangerous to
allow sickness or apparent unfitness for removal as a sufficient cause to
interrupt a direct process and that accordingly in all doubtful questions and
presumptive murders the practice of the law inclined with a laudable partiality
to the vindication of its own officers In addition to these general rules he
was influenced by the positive injunctions and assurances of Swineard and the
terror which through a circle of many miles was annexed to the name of Tyrrel
Before they departed Mrs Hammond dispatched a messenger with a letter of three
lines to Mr Falkland informing him of this extraordinary event Mr Falkland
was from home when the messenger arrived and not expected to return till the
second day accident seeming in this instance to favour the vengeance of Mr
Tyrrel for he had himself been too much under the dominion of an uncontrolable
fury to take a circumstance of this sort into his estimate
The forlorn state of these poor women who were conducted the one by
compulsion the other as a volunteer to a scene so little adapted to their
accommodation as that of a common jail may easily be imagined Mrs Hammond
however was endowed with a masculine courage and impetuosity of spirit
eminently necessary in the difficulties they had to encounter She was in some
degree fitted by a sanguine temper and an impassioned sense of injustice for the
discharge of those very offices which sobriety and calm reflexion might have
prescribed The health of miss Melvile was materially affected by the surprise
and removal she had undergone at the very time that repose was most necessary
for her preservation Her fever became more violent her delirium was stronger
and the tortures of her imagination were proportioned to the unfavourableness of
the state in which the removal had been effected It was highly improbable she
could recover
In the moments of suspended reason she was perpetually calling on the name
of Falkland Mr Falkland she said was her first and only love and he should
be her husband A moment after she exclaimed upon him in a disconsolate yet
reproachful tone for his unworthy deference to the prejudices of the world It
was very cruel of him to show himself so proud and tell her that he would never
consent to marry a beggar But if he were proud she was determined to be proud
too He should see that she would not conduct herself like a slighted maiden
and that though he could reject her it was not in his power to break her
heart At another time she imagined she saw Mr Tyrrel and his engine Grimes
their hands and garments dropping with blood and the pathetic reproaches she
vented against them might have affected a heart of stone Then the figure of
Falkland presented itself to her distracted fancy deformed with wounds and of a
deadly paleness and she shrieked with agony while she exclaimed that such was
the general hardheartedness that no one would make the smallest exertion for
his rescue In such vicissitudes of pain perpetually imagining to herself
unkindness insult conspiracy and murder she passed a considerable part of two
days
On the evening of the second Mr Falkland arrived accompanied by doctor
Wilson the physician by whom she had previously been attended The scene he was
called upon to witness was such as to be most exquisitely agonizing to a man of
his acute sensibility The news of the arrest had given him an inexpressible
shock he was transported out of himself at the unexampled malignity of its
author But when he saw the figure of miss Melvile haggard and a warrant of
death written in her countenance a victim to the diabolical passions of her
kinsman it seemed too much to be endured When he entered she was in the midst
of one of her fits of delirium and immediately mistook her visitors for two
assassins She asked where they had hid her Falkland her lord her life her
husband and demanded that they should restore to her his mangled corpse that
she might embrace him with her dying arms breathe her last upon his lips and
be buried in the same grave She reproached them with the sordidness of their
conduct in becoming the tools of her vile cousin who had deprived her of her
reason and would never be contented till he had murdered her Mr Falkland tore
himself away from this painful scene and leaving doctor Wilson with his
patient desired him when he had given the necessary directions to follow him to
his inn
The perpetual hurry of spirits in which miss Melvile had been kept for
several days by the nature of her indisposition was extremely exhausting to her
and in about an hour from the visit of Mr Falkland her delirium subsided and
left her in so low a state as to render it difficult to perceive any signs of
life Doctor Wilson who had withdrawn to soothe if possible the disturbed
and impatient thoughts of Mr Falkland was summoned afresh upon this change of
symptoms and sat by the bedside during the remainder of the night The
situation of his patient was such as to keep him in momentary apprehension of
her decease While miss Melvile lay in this feeble and exhausted condition Mrs
Hammond betrayed every token of the tenderest anxiety Her sensibility was
habitually of the acutest sort and the qualities of Emily were such as
powerfully to fix her affection She loved her like a mother Upon the present
occasion every sound every motion made her tremble Doctor Wilson had
introduced another nurse in consideration of the incessant fatigue Mrs Hammond
had undergone and he endeavoured by representations and even by authority to
compel her to quit the apartment of the patient But she was uncontrolable and
he at length found that he should probably do her more injury by the violence
that would be necessary to separate her from the suffering innocent than by
allowing her to follow her own inclination Her eye was a thousand times turned
with the most eager curiosity upon the countenance of doctor Wilson without her
daring to breathe a question respecting his opinion lest he should answer her
by a communication of the most fatal tidings In the mean time she listened with
the deepest attention to every thing that dropped either from the physician or
the nurse hoping to collect as it were from some oblique hint the intelligence
which she had not courage expressly to require
Towards morning the state of the patient seemed to take a favourable turn
She dozed for near two hours and when she awoke appeared perfectly calm and
sensible Understanding that Mr Falkland had brought the physician to attend
her and was himself in her neighbourhood she requested to see him Mr
Falkland had gone in the mean time with one of his tenants to bail the debt and
now entered the prison to enquire whether the young lady might be safely removed
from her present miserable residence to a more airy and commodious apartment
When he appeared the sight of him revived in the mind of miss Melvile an
imperfect recollection of the wanderings of her delirium She covered her face
with her fingers and betrayed the most expressive confusion while she thanked
him with her usual unaffected simplicity for the trouble he had taken She hoped
she should not give him much more she thought she should get better It was a
shame she said if a young and lively girl as she was could not contrive to
outlive the trifling misfortunes to which she had been subjected But while she
said this she was still extremely weak She tried to assume a chearful
countenance but it was a faint effort which the feeble state of her frame did
not seem sufficient to support Mr Falkland and the doctor joined to request
her to keep herself quiet and to avoid for the present all occasions of
exertion
Encouraged by these appearances Mrs Hammond ventured to follow the two
gentlemen out of the room in order to learn from the physician what hopes he
entertained Doctor Wilson acknowledged that he found his patient at first in a
very unfavourable situation that the symptoms were changed for the better and
that he was not without some expectation of her recovery He added however that
he could answer for nothing that the next twelve hours would be exceedingly
critical but that if she did not grow worse before morning he would then
undertake to answer for her life Mrs Hammond who had hitherto seen nothing
but despair now became frantic with joy She burst into tears of transport
blessed the physician in the most emphatic and impassioned terms and uttered a
thousand extravagancies Doctor Wilson seized this opportunity to press her to
give herself a little repose to which she consented a bed being first procured
for her in the room next to miss Melviles she having charged the nurse to give
her notice of any alteration in the state of the patient
Mrs Hammond enjoyed an interrupted sleep of several hours It was already
night when she was awaked by an unusual bustle in the next room She listened
for a few moments and then determined to go and discover the occasion of it As
she opened her door for that purpose she met the nurse coming to her The
countenance of the messenger told her what it was she had to communicate
without the use of words She hurried to the bed side and found miss Melvile
expiring The appearances that had at first been so encouraging were of short
duration The calm of the morning proved to be only a sort of lightning before
death In a few hours the patient grew worse The bloom of her countenance
faded she drew her breath with difficulty and her eyes became fixed Doctor
Wilson came in at this period and immediately perceived that all was over She
was for some time in convulsions but these subsiding she addressed the
physician with a composed though feeble voice She thanked him for his
attention and expressed the most lively sense of her obligations to Mr
Falkland She sincerely forgave her cousin and hoped he might never be visited
by too acute a recollection of his barbarity to her She would have been
contented to live few persons had a sincerer relish of the pleasures of life
but she was well pleased to die rather than have become the wife of Grimes As
Mrs Hammond entered she turned her countenance towards her and with an
affectionate expression repeated her name This was her last word in less than
two hours from that time she breathed her last in the arms of this faithful
friend
Chapter XI
Such was the fate of miss Emily Melvile Perhaps tyranny never exhibited a more
painful memorial of the detestation in which it deserves to be held The idea
irresistibly excited in every spectator of the scene was that of regarding Mr
Tyrrel as the most diabolical wretch that had ever dishonoured the human form
The very attendants upon this house of oppression for the scene was acted upon
too public a stage not to be generally understood expressed their astonishment
and disgust at his unparalleled cruelty
If such were the feelings of men bred to the commission of injustice it is
difficult to say what must have been those of Mr Falkland He raved he swore
he beat his head he rent up his hair He was unable to continue in one posture
and to remain in one place He burst away from the spot with a vehemence as if
he sought to leave behind him his recollection and his existence He seemed to
tear up the ground with fierceness and rage He returned soon again He
approached the sad remains of what had been Emily and gazed on them with such
intentness that his eyes appeared ready to burst from their sockets Acute and
exquisite as were his notions of virtue and honour he could not prevent himself
from reproaching the system of nature for having given birth to such a monster
as Tyrrel He was ashamed of himself for wearing the same form He could not
think of the human species with patience He foamed with indignation against the
laws of the universe that did not permit him to crush such reptiles at a blow
as we would crush so many noxious insects It was necessary to guard him like a
madman
The whole office of judging what was proper to be done under the present
circumstances devolved upon doctor Wilson The doctor was a man of cool and
methodical habits of acting One of the first ideas that suggested itself to him
was that miss Melvile was a branch of the family of Tyrrel He did not doubt of
the willingness of Mr Falkland to discharge every expence that might be farther
incident to the melancholy remains of this unfortunate victim but he conceived
that the laws of fashion and decorum required that some notification of the
event should be made to the head of the family Perhaps too he had an eye to his
interest in his profession and was reluctant to expose himself to the
resentment of a person of Mr Tyrrels consideration in the neighbourhood But
with this weakness he had nevertheless some feelings in common with the rest of
the world and must have suffered considerable violence before he could have
persuaded himself to be the messenger beside which he did not think it right in
the present situation to leave Mr Falkland
Doctor Wilson no sooner mentioned these ideas than they seemed to make a
sudden impression on Mrs Hammond and she earnestly requested that she might be
permitted to carry the intelligence The proposal was unexpected but the doctor
did not very obstinately refuse his assent She was determined she said to see
what sort of impression the catastrophe would make upon the author of it and
she promised to comport herself with moderation and civility The journey was
soon performed
I am come sir said she to Mr Tyrrel to inform you that your cousin miss
Melvile died this afternoon
Died
Yes sir I saw her die She died in these arms
Dead Who killed her What do you mean
Who Is it for you to ask that question Your cruelty and malice killed her
Me my Poh she is not dead It cannot be It is not a week since she
left this house
Do not you believe me I say she is dead
Have a care woman This is no matter for jesting No though she used me
ill I would not believe her dead for all the world
Mrs Hammond shook her head in a manner expressive at once of grief and
indignation
No no no no I will never believe that No never
Will you come with me and convince your eyes It is a sight worthy of you
and will be a feast to such a heart as yours Saying this Mrs Hammond
offered her hand as if to conduct him to the spot
Mr Tyrrel shrunk back
If she be dead what is that to me Am I to answer for every thing that goes
wrong in the world What do you come here for Why bring your messages to me
To whom should I bring them but to her kinsman and her murderer
Murderer Did I employ knives or pistols Did I give her poison I did
nothing but what the law allows If she be dead nobody can say that I am to
blame
To blame All the world will abhor and curse you Were you such a fool as
to think because men pay respect to wealth and rank this would extend to such
a deed They will laugh at so barefaced a cheat The meanest beggar will spurn
and spit at you Aye you may well stand confounded at what you have done I
will proclaim you to the whole world and you will be obliged to fly the very
face of a human creature
Good woman said Mr Tyrrel extremely humbled talk no more in this strain
Emmy is not dead I am sure I hope she is not dead Tell me that you
have only been deceiving me and I will forgive you every thing I will
forgive her I will take her into favour I will do any thing you please I
never meant her any harm
I tell you she is dead You have murdered the sweetest innocent that lived
Can you bring her back to life as you have driven her out of it If you could
I would kneel to you twenty times a day What is it you have done Miserable
wretch did you think you could do and undo and change the laws this way and
that as you please
The reproaches of Mrs Hammond were the first instance in which Mr Tyrrel
was made to drink the full cup of retribution This was however only a specimen
of a long series of contempt abhorrence and insult that was reserved for him
The words of Mrs Hammond were prophetic It evidently appeared that though
wealth and hereditary elevation operate as an apology for many deliquencies
there are some which so irresistibly address themselves to the indignation of
mankind that like death they level all distinctions and reduce their
perpetrator to an equality with the most indigent and squalid of his species
Against Mr Tyrrel as the tyrannical and unmanly murderer of Emily those who
dared not venture the unreserved avowal of their sentiments muttered curses
deep not loud while the rest joined in an universal cry of abhorrence and
execration He stood astonished at the novelty of his situation Accustomed as
he had been to the obedience and trembling homage of mankind he had imagined
they would be perpetual and that no excess on his part would ever be potent
enough to break the enchantment Now he looked round and saw sullen detestation
in every face which with difficulty restrained itself and upon the slightest
provocation broke forth with an impetuous tide and swept away all the mounds of
subordination and fear His large estate could not now purchase civility from
the gentry the peasantry scarcely from his own servants In the indignation of
all around him he found a ghost that haunted him with every change of place and
a remorse that stung his conscience and exterminated his peace The
neighbourhood appeared more and more every day to be growing too hot for him to
endure and it became evident that he would ultimately be obliged to quit the
county Urged by the flagitiousness of this last example people learned to
recollect every other instance of his excesses and it was no doubt a fearful
catalogue that rose up in judgment against him It seemed as if the sense of
public resentment had long been gathering strength unperceived and now burst
forth into insuppressible violence
There was scarcely a human being upon whom this sort of retribution could
have sat more painfully than upon Mr Tyrrel Though he had not a consciousness
of innocence prompting him continually to recoil from the detestation of mankind
as a thing totally unallied to his character yet the imperiousness of his
temper and the constant experience he had had of the pliability of other men
prepared him to feel the general and undisguised condemnation into which he was
sunk with uncommon emotions of anger and impatience That he at the beam of
whose eye every countenance fell and to whom in the fierceness of his wrath no
one was daring enough to reply should now be regarded with avowed dislike and
treated with unceremonious censure was a thing he could not endure to recollect
or believe Symptoms of the universal disgust smote him at every instant and at
every blow he writhed with intolerable anguish His rage was unbounded and
raving He repelled every attack with the fiercest indignation while the more
he struggled the more desperate his situation appeared to become At length he
determined to collect his strength for a decisive effort and to meet the whole
tide of public opinion in a single scene
In pursuance of these thoughts he resolved to repair without delay to the
rural assembly which I have already mentioned in the course of my story Miss
Melvile had now been dead one month Mr Falkland had been absent the last week
in a distant part of the country and was not expected to return for a week
longer Mr Tyrrel willingly embraced the opportunity trusting if he could now
effect his reestablishment that he should easily preserve the ground he had
gained even in the face of his most formidable rival Mr Tyrrel was not
deficient in courage but he conceived the present to be too important an epoch
in his life to allow him to make any unnecessary risk in his chance for future
ease and importance
There was a sort of bustle that took place at his entrance into the
assembly it having been agreed by the gentlemen of the assembly that Mr Tyrrel
was to be refused admittance as a person with whom they did not choose to
associate This vote had already been notified to him by letter by the master of
the ceremonies but the intelligence was rather calculated with a man of Mr
Tyrrels disposition to excite defiance than to overawe At the door of the
assembly he was personally met by the master of the ceremonies who had
perceived the arrival of an equipage and who now endeavoured to repeat his
prohibition but he was thrust aside by Mr Tyrrel with an air of native
authority and ineffable contempt As he entered every eye was turned upon him
Presently all the gentlemen in the room assembled round him Some endeavoured to
hustle him and others began to expostulate But he found the secret effectually
to silence the one set and to shake off the other His muscular form the
wellknown eminence of his intellectual powers the long habits to which every
man was formed of acknowledging his ascendancy were all in his favour He
considered himself as playing a desperate stake and had roused all the energies
he possessed to enable him to do justice to so interesting a transaction
Disengaged from the insects that had at first pestered him he paced up and down
the room with a magisterial stride and flashed an angry glance on every side
He then broke silence »If any one had any thing to say to him he should know
where and how to answer him He would advise any such person however to consider
well what he was about If any man imagined he had any thing personally to
complain of it was very well But he did expect that nobody there would be
ignorant and raw enough to meddle with what was no business of theirs and
intrude into the concerns of any mans private family«
This being a sort of defiance one and another gentleman advanced to answer
it He that was first began to speak but Mr Tyrrel by the expression of his
countenance and a peremptory tone by welltimed interruptions and pertinent
insinuations caused him first to hesitate and then to be silent He seemed to
be fast advancing to the triumph he had promised himself The whole company were
astonished They felt the same abhorrence and condemnation of his character but
they could not help admiring the courage and resources he displayed upon the
present occasion They could without difficulty have concentred afresh their
indignant feelings but they seemed to want a leader
At this critical moment Mr Falkland entered the room Mere accident had
enabled him to return sooner than he expected
Both he and Mr Tyrrel reddened at sight of each other He advanced towards
Mr Tyrrel without a moments pause and in a peremptory voice asked him what
he did there
Here What do you mean by that This place is as free to me as you and you
are the last person to whom I shall deign to give an account of myself
Sir the place is not free to you Do not you know you have been voted out
Whatever were your rights your infamous conduct has forfeited them
Mr what do you call yourself if you have any thing to say to me chuse a
proper time and place Do not think to put on your bullying airs under shelter
of this company I will not endure it
You are mistaken sir This public scene is the only place where I can have
any thing to say to you If you would not hear the universal indignation of
mankind you must not come into the society of men Miss Melvile Shame upon
you inhuman unrelenting tyrant Can you hear her name and not sink into the
earth Can you retire into solitude and not see her pale and patient ghost
rising to reproach you Can you recollect her virtues her innocence her
spotless manners her unresenting temper and not run distracted with remorse
Have you not killed her in the first bloom of her youth Can you bear to think
that she now lies mouldering in the grave through your cursed contrivance that
deserved a crown ten thousand times more than you deserve to live And do you
expect that mankind will ever forget or forgive such a deed Go miserable
wretch think yourself too happy that you are permitted to fly the face of man
Why what a pitiful figure do you make at this moment Do you think that any
thing could bring so hardened a wretch as you are to shrink from reproach if
your conscience were not in confederacy with them that reproached you And were
you fool enough to believe that any obstinacy however determined could enable
you to despise the keen rebuke of justice Go shrink into your miserable self
Begone and let me never be blasted with your sight again
And here incredible as it may appear Mr Tyrrel began to obey his
imperious censurer His looks were full of wildness and horror his limbs
trembled and his tongue refused its office He felt no power of resisting the
impetuous torrent of reproach that was poured upon him He hesitated he was
ashamed of his own defeat he seemed to wish to deny it But his struggles were
ineffectual every attempt perished in the moment it was made The general voice
was eager to abash him As his confusion became more visible the outcry
increased It swelled gradually to hootings tumult and a deafening noise of
indignation At length he willingly retired from the public scene unable any
longer to endure the sensations it inflicted
In about an hour and a half he returned No precaution had been taken
against this incident for nothing could be more unexpected In the interval he
had intoxicated himself with large draughts of brandy In a moment he was in a
part of the room where Mr Falkland was standing and with one blow of his
muscular arm levelled him with the earth The blow however was not stunning and
Mr Falkland rose again immediately It is obvious to perceive how unequal he
must have been to this species of contest He was scarcely risen before Mr
Tyrrel repeated his blow Mr Falkland was now upon his guard and did not fall
But the blows of his adversary were redoubled with a rapidity difficult to
conceive and Mr Falkland was once again brought to the earth In this
situation Mr Tyrrel kicked his prostrate enemy and stooped apparently with
the intention of dragging him along the floor All this passed in a moment and
the gentlemen present had not time to recover their surprise They now
interfered and Mr Tyrrel once more quitted the apartment
It is difficult to conceive of any event more terrible to the individual
upon whom it fell than the treatment which Mr Falkland in this instance
experienced Every passion of his life was calculated to make him feel it more
acutely He had repeatedly exerted the most uncommon energy and prudence to
prevent the misunderstanding between Mr Tyrrel and himself from proceeding to
extremities but in vain It was closed with a catastrophe exceeding all that he
had feared or that the most penetrating foresight could have suggested To Mr
Falkland disgrace was worse than death The slightest breath of dishonour would
have stung him to the very soul What must it have been with this complication
of ignominy base humiliating and public Could Mr Tyrrel have understood the
evil he inflicted even he under all his circumstances of provocation could
hardly have perpetrated it Mr Falklands mind was full of uproar like the war
of contending elements and of such suffering as casts contempt on the
refinements of inventive cruelty He wished for annihilation to lie down in
eternal oblivion in an insensibility which compared with what he experienced
was scarcely less enviable than beatitude itself Horror detestation revenge
inexpressible longings to shake off the evil and a persuasion that in this case
all effort was powerless filled his soul even to bursting
One other event closed the transactions of this memorable evening Mr
Falkland was baffled of the vengeance that yet remained to him Mr Tyrrel was
found by some of the company dead in the street having been murdered at the
distance of a few yards from the assembly house
Chapter XII
I shall endeavour to state the remainder of this narrative in the words of Mr
Collins The reader has already had occasion to perceive that Mr Collins was a
man of no vulgar order and his reflections on this subject were uncommonly
judicious
»This day was the crisis of Mr Falklands history From hence took its
beginning that gloomy and unsociable melancholy of which he has since been the
victim No two characters can be in certain respects more strongly contrasted
than the Mr Falkland of a date prior and subsequent to these events Hitherto
he had been attended by a fortune perpetually prosperous His mind was sanguine
full of that undoubting confidence in its own powers which prosperity is
qualified to produce Though the habits of his life were those of a serious and
sublime visionary they were nevertheless full of chearfulness and tranquillity
But from this moment his pride and the lofty adventurousness of his spirit were
effectually subdued From an object of envy he was changed into an object of
compassion Life which hitherto no one had so exquisitely enjoyed became a
burthen to him No more selfcomplacency no more rapture no more
selfapproving and hearttransporting benevolence He who had lived beyond any
man upon the grand and animating reveries of the imagination seemed now to have
no visions but of anguish and despair His case was peculiarly worthy of
sympathy since no doubt if rectitude and purity of disposition could give a
title to happiness few men could exhibit a more consistent and powerful claim
than Mr Falkland
He was too deeply pervaded with the idle and groundless romances of chivalry
ever to forget the situation humiliating and dishonourable according to his
ideas in which he had been placed upon this occasion There is a mysterious
sort of divinity annexed to the person of a true knight that makes any species
of brute violence committed upon it indelible and immortal To be knocked down
cuffed kicked dragged along the floor sacred heaven the memory of such a
treatment was not to be endured No future lustration could ever remove the
stain and what was perhaps still worse in the present case the offender
having ceased to exist the lustration which the laws of knighterrantry
prescribe was rendered impossible
In some future period of human improvement it is probable that that calamity
will be in a manner unintelligible which in the present instance contributed to
tarnish and wither the excellence of one of the most elevated and amiable of
human minds If Mr Falkland had reflected with perfect accuracy upon the case
he would probably have been able to look down with indifference upon a wound
which as it was pierced to his very vitals How much more dignity than in the
modern duellist do we find in Themistocles the most gallant of the Greeks who
when Eurybiades his commander in chief in answer to some of his remonstrances
lifted his cane over him with a menacing air accosted him in that noble
apostrophe Strike but hear
How would a man of true discernment in such a case reply to his brutal
assailant I make it my boast that I can endure calamity and pain shall I not
be able to endure the trifling inconvenience that your folly can inflict upon
me Perhaps a human being would be more accomplished if he understood the
science of personal defence but how few would be the occasions upon which he
would be called to exert it How few human beings would he encounter so unjust
and injurious as you if his own conduct were directed by the principles of
reason and benevolence Beside how narrow would be the use of this science
when acquired It will scarcely put the man of delicate make and petty stature
upon a level with the athletic pugilist and if it did in some measure secure
me against the malice of a single adversary still my person and my life so far
as mere force is concerned would always be at the mercy of two Farther than
immediate defence against actual violence it could never be of use to me The
man who can deliberately meet his adversary for the purpose of exposing the
person of one or both of them to injury tramples upon every principle of reason
and equity Duelling is the vilest of all egotism treating the public which
has a claim to all my powers and exertions as if it were nothing and myself
or rather an unintelligible chimera I annex to myself as if it were entitled to
my exclusive attention I am unable to cope with you what then Can that
circumstance dishonour me No I can only be dishonoured by perpetrating an
unjust action My honour is in my own keeping beyond the reach of all mankind
Strike I am passive No injury that you can inflict shall provoke me to expose
you or myself to unnecessary evil I refuse that but I am not therefore
pusillanimous when I refuse any danger or suffering by which the general good
may be promoted then brand me for a coward
These reasonings however simple and irresistible they must be found by a
dispassionate enquirer are little reflected on by the world at large and were
most of all uncongenial to the prejudices of Mr Falkland But the public
disgrace and chastisement that had been imposed upon him intolerable as they
were to be recollected were not the whole of the mischief that redounded to our
unfortunate patron from the transactions of that day It was presently whispered
that he was no other than the murderer of his antagonist This rumour was of too
much importance to the very continuance of his life to justify its being
concealed from him He heard it with inexpressible astonishment and horror it
formed a dreadful addition to the load of intellectual anguish that already
oppressed him No man had ever held his reputation more dear than Mr Falkland
and now in one day he was fallen under the most exquisite calamities a
complicated personal insult and the imputation of the foulest of crimes He
might have fled for no one was forward to proceed against a man so adored as
Mr Falkland or in revenge of one so universally execrated as Mr Tyrrel But
flight he disdained In the mean time the affair was of too serious a magnitude
the rumour unchecked seemed daily to increase in strength Mr Falkland appeared
sometimes inclined to adopt such steps as might have been best calculated to
bring the imputation to a speedy trial But he probably feared by too direct an
appeal to judicature to render more precise an imputation the memory of which
he deprecated at the same time that he was sufficiently willing to meet the
severest scrutiny and if he could not hope to have it forgotten that he had
ever been accused to prove in the most satisfactory manner that the accusation
was unjust
The neighbouring magistrates at length conceived it necessary to take some
steps upon the subject Without causing Mr Falkland to be apprehended they
sent to desire he would appear before them at one of their meetings The
proceeding being thus opened Mr Falkland expressed his hope that if the
business were likely to stop there their investigation might at least be
rendered as solemn as possible The meeting was numerous every person of a
respectable class in society was admitted to be an auditor the whole town one
of the most considerable in the county was apprised of the nature of the
business Few trials invested with all the forms of judgment have excited so
general an interest A trial under the present circumstances was scarcely
attainable and it seemed to be the wish both of principal and umpires to give
to this transaction all the momentary notoriety and decisiveness of a trial
The magistrates investigated the particulars of the story Mr Falkland it
appeared had left the rooms immediately after his assailant and though he had
been attended by one or two of the gentlemen to his inn it was proved that he
had left them upon some slight occasion as soon as he arrived at it and that
when they enquired for him of the waiters he had already mounted his horse and
rode home
By the nature of the case no particular facts could be stated in balance
against these As soon as they had been sufficiently detailed Mr Falkland
therefore proceeded to his defence Several copies of this defence were made
and Mr Falkland seemed for a short time to have had the idea of sending it to
the press though for some reason or other he afterwards suppressed it I have
one of the copies in my possession and I will read it to you«
Saying this Mr Collins rose and took it from a private drawer in his
escritoire During this action he appeared to recollect himself He did not in
the strict sense of the word hesitate but he was prompted to make some apology
for what he was doing
»You seem never to have heard of this memorable transaction and indeed that
is little to be wondered at since the good nature of the world is interested in
suppressing it and it is deemed a disgrace to a man to have defended himself
from a criminal imputation though with circumstances the most satisfactory and
honourable It may be supposed that this suppression is particularly acceptable
to Mr Falkland and I should not have acted in contradiction to his modes of
thinking in communicating the story to you had there not been circumstances of
peculiar urgency that seemed to render the communication desirable« Saying
this he proceeded to read from the paper in his hand
»Gentlemen
I stand here accused of a crime the most black that any human
creature is capable of perpetrating I am innocent I have no fear that
I shall fail to make every person in this company acknowledge my
innocence In the mean time what must be my feelings Conscious as I am
of deserving approbation and not censure of having passed my life in
acts of justice and philanthropy can any thing be more deplorable than
for me to answer a charge of murder So wretched is my situation that I
cannot accept your gratuitous acquittal if you should be disposed to
bestow it I must answer to an imputation the very thought of which is
ten thousand times worse to me than death I must exert the whole energy
of my mind to prevent my being ranked with the vilest of men
Gentlemen this is a situation in which a man may be allowed to
boast Accursed situation No man need envy me the vile and polluted
triumph I am now to gain I have called no witnesses to my character
Great God what sort of a character is that which must be supported by
witnesses But if I must speak look round the company ask of every
one present enquire of your own hearts Not one word of reproach was
ever whispered against me I do not hesitate to call upon those who have
known me most to afford me the most honourable testimony
My life has been spent in the keenest and most unintermitted
sensibility to reputation I am almost indifferent as to what shall be
the event of this day I would not open my mouth upon the occasion if
my life were the only thing that was at stake It is not in the power of
your decision to restore to me my unblemished reputation to obliterate
the disgrace I have suffered or to prevent it from being remembered
that I have been brought to examination upon a charge of murder Your
decision can never have the efficacy to prevent the miserable remains of
my existence from being the most intolerable of all burthens
I am accused of having committed murder upon the body of Barnabas
Tyrrel I would most joyfully have given every farthing I possess and
devoted myself to perpetual beggary to have preserved his life His life
was precious to me beyond that of all mankind In my opinion the
greatest injustice committed by his unknown assassin was that of
defrauding me of my just revenge I confess that I would have called him
out to the field and that our encounter should not have been terminated
but by the death of one or both of us This would have been a pitiful
and inadequate compensation for his unparalleled insult but it was all
that remained
I ask for no pity but I must openly declare that never was any
misfortune so horrible as mine I would willingly have taken refuge from
the recollection of that night in a voluntary death Life was now
stripped of all those recommendations for the sake of which it was dear
to me But even this consolation is denied me I am compelled to drag
for ever the intolerable load of existence upon penalty if at any
period however remote I shake it off of having that impatience regarded
as confirming a charge of murder Gentlemen if by your decision you
could take away my life without that act being connected with my
disgrace I would bless the cord that stopped the breath of my existence
for ever
You all know how easily I might have fled from this purgation If I
had been guilty should I not have embraced the opportunity But as it
was I could not Reputation has been the idol the jewel of my life I
could never have borne to think that a human creature in the remotest
part of the globe should believe that I was a criminal Alas what a
deity it is that I have chosen for my worship I have entailed upon
myself everlasting agony and despair
I have but one word to add Gentlemen I charge you to do me the
imperfect justice that is in your power My life is a worthless thing
But my honour the empty remains of honour I have now to boast is in
your judgment and you will each of you from this day have imposed
upon yourselves the task of its vindicators It is little that you can
do for me but it is not less your duty to do that little May that God
who is the fountain of honour and good prosper and protect you The man
who now stands before you is devoted to perpetual barrenness and blast
He has nothing to hope for beyond the feeble consolation of this day«
»You will easily imagine that Mr Falkland was discharged with every
circumstance of credit Nothing is more to be deplored in human institutions
than that the ideas of mankind should have annexed a sentiment of disgrace to a
purgation thus satisfactory and decisive No one entertained the shadow of a
doubt upon the subject and yet a mere concurrence of circumstances made it
necessary that the best of men should be publicly put upon his defence as if
really under suspicion of an atrocious crime It may be granted indeed that Mr
Falkland had his faults but those very faults placed him at a still farther
distance from the criminality in question He was the fool of honour and fame a
man whom in the pursuit of reputation nothing could divert who would have
purchased the character of a true gallant and undaunted hero at the expence of
worlds and who thought every calamity nominal but a stain upon his honour How
atrociously absurd to suppose any motive capable of inducing such a man to play
the part of a lurking assassin How unfeeling to oblige him to defend himself
from such an imputation Did any man and least of all a man of the purest
honour ever pass in a moment from a life unstained by a single act of injury to
the consummation of human depravity
When the decision of the magistrates was declared a general murmur of
applause and involuntary transport burst forth from every one present It was at
first low and gradually became louder As it was the expression of rapturous
delight and an emotion disinterested and divine so there was an indescribable
something in the very sound that carried it home to the heart and convinced
every spectator that there was no merely personal pleasure which ever existed
that would not be foolish and feeble in the comparison Every one strove who
should most express his esteem of the amiable accused Mr Falkland was no
sooner withdrawn than the gentlemen present determined to give a still further
sanction to the business by their congratulations They immediately named a
deputation to wait upon him for that purpose Every one concurred to assist the
general sentiment It was a sort of sympathetic feeling that took hold upon all
ranks and degrees The multitude received him with huzzas they took his horses
from his carriage dragged him along in triumph and attended him many miles on
his return to his own habitation It seemed as if a public examination upon a
criminal charge which had hitherto been considered in every event as a brand of
disgrace was converted in the present instance into an occasion of enthusiastic
adoration and unexampled honour
Nothing could reach the heart of Mr Falkland He was not insensible to the
general kindness and exertions but it was too evident that the melancholy that
had taken hold of his mind was invincible
It was only a few weeks after this memorable scene that the real murderer
was discovered Every part of this story was extraordinary The real murderer
was Hawkins He was found with his son under a feigned name at a village at
about thirty miles distance in want of all the necessaries of life He had
lived here from the period of his flight in so private a manner that all the
enquiries that had been set on foot by the benevolence of Mr Falkland or the
insatiable malice of Mr Tyrrel had been insufficient to discover him The first
thing that had led to the detection was a parcel of clothes covered with blood
that were found in a ditch and that when drawn out were known by the people
of the village to belong to this man The murder of Mr Tyrrel was not a
circumstance that could be unknown and suspicion was immediately roused A
diligent search being made the rusty handle with part of the blade of a knife
was found thrown in a corner of his lodging which being applied to a piece of
the point of a knife that had been broken in the wound appeared exactly to
correspond Upon farther enquiry two rustics who had been accidentally on the
spot remembered to have seen Hawkins and his son in the town that very evening
and to have called after them and received no answer though they were sure of
their persons Upon this accumulated evidence both Hawkins and his son were
tried condemned and afterwards executed In the interval between the sentence
and execution Hawkins confessed his guilt with many marks of compunction though
there are persons by whom this is denied but I have taken some pains to enquire
into the fact and am persuaded that their disbelief is precipitate and
groundless
The cruel injustice that this man had suffered from his village tyrant was
not forgotten upon the present occasion It was by a strange fatality that the
barbarous proceedings of Mr Tyrrel seemed never to fall short of their
completion and even his death served eventually to consummate the ruin of a man
he hated a circumstance which if it could have come to his knowledge would
perhaps have in some measure consoled him for his untimely end This poor
Hawkins was surely entitled to some pity since his being finally urged to
desperation and brought together with his son to an ignominious fate was
originally owing to the sturdiness of his virtue and independence But the
compassion of the public was in a great measure shut against him as they
thought it a piece of barbarous and unpardonable selfishness that he had not
rather come boldly forward to meet the consequences of his own conduct than
suffer a man of so much public worth as Mr Falkland and who had been so
desirous of doing him good to be exposed to the risk of being tried for a
murder that he had committed
From this time to the present Mr Falkland has been nearly such as you at
present see him Though it be several years since these transactions the
impression they made is for ever fresh in the mind of our unfortunate patron
From thenceforward his habits became totally different He had before been fond
of public scenes and acting a part in the midst of the people among whom he
immediately resided He now made himself a rigid recluse He had no associates
no friends Inconsolable himself he yet wished to treat others with kindness
There was a solemn sadness in his manner attended with the most perfect
gentleness and humanity Every body respects him for his benevolence is
unalterable but there is a stately coldness and reserve in his behaviour which
makes it difficult for those about him to regard him with the familiarity of
affection These symptoms are uninterrupted except at certain times when his
sufferings become intolerable and he displays the marks of a furious insanity
At those times his language is fearful and mysterious and he seems to figure to
himself by turns every sort of persecution and alarm which may be supposed to
attend upon an accusation of murder But sensible of his own weakness he is
anxious at such times to withdraw into solitude and his domestics in general
know nothing of him but the uncommunicative and haughty but mild dejection that
accompanies every thing he does«
End of Volume I
Volume II
Chapter I
I have stated the narrative of Mr Collins interspersed with such other
information as I was able to collect with all the exactness that my memory
assisted by certain memorandums I made at the time will afford I do not
pretend to warrant the authenticity of any part of these memoirs except so much
as fell under my own knowledge and that part shall be stated with the same
simplicity and accuracy that I would observe towards a court which was to decide
in the last resort upon every thing dear to me The same scrupulous fidelity
restrains me from altering the manner of Mr Collinss narrative to adapt it to
the precepts of my own taste and it will soon be perceived how essential that
narrative is to the elucidation of my history
The intention of my friend in this communication was to give me ease but he
in reality added to my embarrassment Hitherto I had had no intercourse with the
world and its passions and though I was not totally unacquainted with them as
they appear in books this proved to be of little service to me when I came to
witness them myself The case seemed entirely altered when the subject of those
passions was continually before my eyes and the events had happened but the
other day as it were in the very neighbourhood where I lived There was a
connection and progress in this narrative which made it altogether unlike the
little village incidents I had hitherto known My feelings were successively
interested for the different persons that were brought upon the scene My
veneration was excited for Mr Clare and my applause for the intrepidity of
Mrs Hammond I was astonished that any human creature should be so shockingly
perverted as Mr Tyrrel I paid the tribute of my tears to the memory of the
artless miss Melvile I found a thousand fresh reasons to admire and love Mr
Falkland
At first I was satisfied with thus considering every incident in its obvious
sense But the story I had heard was for ever in my thoughts and I was
peculiarly interested to comprehend its full import I turned it a thousand
ways and examined it in every point of view In the original communication it
appeared sufficiently distinct and satisfactory but as I brooded over it it
gradually became mysterious There was something strange in the character of
Hawkins So firm so sturdily honest and just as he appeared at first all at
once to become a murderer His first behaviour under the prosecution how
accurately was it calculated to prepossess one in his favour To be sure if he
were guilty it was unpardonable in him to suffer a man of so much dignity and
worth as Mr Falkland to suffer under the imputation of his crime And yet I
could not help bitterly compassionating the honest fellow brought to the
gallows as he was strictly speaking by the machinations of that devil
incarnate Mr Tyrrel His son too that son for whom he voluntarily sacrificed
his all to die with him at the same tree surely never was a story more
affecting
Was it possible after all that Mr Falkland should be the murderer The
reader will scarcely believe that the idea suggested itself to my mind that I
would ask him It was but a passing thought but it serves to mark the
simplicity of my character Then I recollected the virtues of my master almost
too sublime for human nature I thought of his sufferings so unexampled so
unmerited and chid myself for the suspicion The dying confession of Hawkins
recurred to my mind and I felt that there was no longer a possibility of
doubting And yet what was the meaning of all Mr Falklands agonies and
terrors In fine the idea having once occurred to my mind it was fixed there
for ever My thoughts fluctuated from conjecture to conjecture but this was the
centre about which they revolved I determined to place myself as a watch upon
my patron
The instant I had chosen this employment for myself I found a strange sort
of pleasure in it To do what is forbidden always has its charms because we
have an indistinct apprehension of something arbitrary and tyrannical in the
prohibition To be a spy upon Mr Falkland That there was danger in the
employment served to give an alluring pungency to the choice I remembered the
stern reprimand I had received and his terrible looks and the recollection
gave a kind of tingling sensation not altogether unallied to enjoyment The
farther I advanced the more the sensation was irresistible I seemed to myself
perpetually upon the brink of being countermined and perpetually roused to
guard my designs The more impenetrable Mr Falkland was determined to be the
more uncontrolable was my curiosity Through the whole my alarm and apprehension
of personal danger had a large mixture of frankness and simplicity conscious
of meaning no ill that made me continually ready to say every thing that was
upon my mind and would not suffer me to believe that when things were brought
to the test any one could be seriously angry with me
These reflections led gradually to a new state of my mind When I had first
removed into Mr Falklands family the novelty of the scene rendered me
cautious and reserved The distant and solemn manners of my master seemed to
have annihilated my constitutional gaiety But the novelty by degrees wore off
and my constraint in the same degree diminished The story I had now heard and
the curiosity it excited restored to me activity eagerness and courage I had
always had a propensity to communicate my thoughts my age was of course
inclined to talkativeness and I ventured occasionally in a sort of hesitating
way as if questioning whether such a conduct might be allowed to express my
sentiments as they arose in the presence of Mr Falkland
The first time I did so he looked at me with an air of surprise made me no
answer and presently took occasion to leave me The experiment was soon after
repeated My master seemed half inclined to encourage me and yet doubtful
whether he might venture He had been long a stranger to pleasure of every sort
and my artless and untaught remarks appeared to promise him some amusement
Could an amusement of this sort be dangerous In this uncertainty he could not
probably find it in his heart to treat with severity my innocent effusions I
needed but little encouragement for the perturbation of my mind stood in want
of this relief My simplicity arising from my being a total stranger to the
intercourse of the world was accompanied with a mind in some degree cultivated
with reading and perhaps not altogether destitute of observation and talent My
remarks were therefore perpetually unexpected at one time implying extreme
ignorance and at another some portion of acuteness but at all times having an
air of innocence frankness and courage There was still an apparent want of
design in the manner even after I was excited accurately to compare my
observations and study the inferences to which they led for the effect of old
habit was more visible than that of a recently conceived purpose which was yet
scarcely mature Mr Falklands situation was like that of a fish that plays
with the bait employed to entrap him By my manner he was in a certain degree
encouraged to lay aside his usual reserve and relax his stateliness till some
abrupt observation or interrogatory stung him into recollection and brought back
his alarm Still it was evident that he bore about him a secret wound Whenever
the cause of his sorrows was touched though in a manner the most indirect and
remote his countenance altered his distemper returned and it was with
difficulty that he could suppress his emotions sometimes conquering himself
with painful effort and sometimes bursting into a sort of paroxysm of insanity
and hastening to bury himself in solitude These appearances I too frequently
interpreted into grounds of suspicion though I might with equal probability and
more liberality have ascribed them to the cruel mortifications he had
encountered in the objects of his darling ambition Mr Collins had strongly
urged me to secrecy and Mr Falkland whenever my gesture or his consciousness
impressed him with the idea of my knowing more than I expressed looked at me
with wistful earnestness as questioning what was the degree of information I
possessed and how it was obtained But again at our next interview the simple
vivacity of my manner restored his tranquillity obliterated the emotion of
which I had been the cause and placed things afresh in their former situation
The longer this humble familiarity on my part had continued the more effort it
would require to suppress it and Mr Falkland was neither willing to mortify me
by a severe prohibition of speech nor even perhaps to make me of so much
consequence as that prohibition might seem to imply Though I was curious it
must not be supposed that I had the object of my enquiry for ever in my mind or
that my questions and innuendos were perpetually regulated with the cunning of a
greyheaded inquisitor The secret wound of Mr Falklands mind was much more
uniformly present to his recollection than to mine and a thousand times he
applied the remarks that occurred in conversation when I had not the remotest
idea of such an application till some singularity in his manner brought it back
to my thoughts The consciousness of this morbid sensibility and the
imagination that its influence might perhaps constitute the whole of the case
served probably to spur Mr Falkland again to the charge and connect a
sentiment of shame with every project that suggested itself for interrupting the
freedom of our intercourse
I will give a specimen of the conversations to which I allude and as it
shall be selected from those which began upon topics the most general and
remote the reader will easily imagine the disturbance that was almost daily
endured by a mind so tremblingly alive as that of my patron
Pray sir said I one day as I was assisting Mr Falkland in arranging some
papers previously to their being transcribed into his collection how came
Alexander of Macedon to be surnamed the Great
How came it Did you never read his history
Yes sir
Well Williams and could you find no reasons there
Why I do not know sir I could find reasons why he should be famous but
every man that is talked of is not admired Judges differ about the merits of
Alexander Doctor Prideaux says in his Connections that he deserves only to be
called the Great Cutthroat and the author of Tom Jones has written a volume to
prove that he and all other conquerors ought to be classed with Jonathan Wild
Mr Falkland reddened at these citations
Accursed blasphemy Did these authors think that by the coarseness of their
ribaldry they could destroy his wellearned fame Are learning sensibility and
taste no securities to exempt their possessor from this vulgar abuse Did you
ever read Williams of a man more gallant generous and free Was ever mortal
so completely the reverse of every thing engrossing and selfish He formed to
himself a sublime image of excellence and his only ambition was to realise it
in his own story Remember his giving away every thing when he set out upon his
grand expedition professedly reserving for himself nothing but hope Recollect
his heroic confidence in Philip the physician and his entire and unalterable
friendship for Ephestion He treated the captive family of Darius with the most
cordial urbanity and the venerable Sysigambis with all the tenderness and
attention of a son to his mother Never take the judgment Williams upon such a
subject of a clerical pedant or a Westminster justice Examine for yourself and
you will find in Alexander a model of honour generosity and disinterestedness
a man who for the cultivated liberality of his mind and the unparalleled
grandeur of his projects must stand alone the spectacle and admiration of all
ages of the world
Ah sir it is a fine thing for us to sit here and compose his panegyric
But shall I forget what a vast expence was bestowed in erecting the monument of
his fame Was not he the common disturber of mankind Did not he overrun nations
that would never have heard of him but for his devastations How many hundred
thousands of lives did he sacrifice in his career What must I think of his
cruelties a whole tribe massacred for a crime committed by their ancestors one
hundred and fifty years before fifty thousand sold into slavery two thousand
crucified for their gallant defence of their country Man is surely a strange
sort of creature who never praises any one more heartily than him who has
spread destruction and ruin over the face of nations
The way of thinking you express Williams is natural enough and I cannot
blame you for it But let me hope that you will become more liberal The death
of a hundred thousand men is at first sight very shocking but what in reality
are a hundred thousand such men more than a hundred thousand sheep It is mind
Williams the generation of knowledge and virtue that we ought to love This was
the project of Alexander he set out in a great undertaking to civilise mankind
he delivered the vast continent of Asia from the stupidity and degradation of
the Persian monarchy and though he was cut off in the midst of his career we
may easily perceive the vast effects of his project Grecian literature and
cultivation the Seleucidæ the Antiochuses and the Ptolomies followed in
nations which before had been sunk to the condition of brutes Alexander was the
builder as notoriously as the destroyer of cities
And yet sir I am afraid that the pike and the battle axe are not the right
instruments for making men wise Suppose it were admitted that the lives of men
were to be sacrificed without remorse if a paramount good were to result it
seems to me as if murder and massacre were but a very lefthanded way of
producing civilisation and love But pray do not you think this great hero was
a sort of a madman What now will you say to his firing the palace of
Persepolis his weeping for other worlds to conquer and his marching his whole
army over the burning sands of Lybia merely to visit a temple and persuade
mankind that he was the son of Jupiter Ammon
Alexander my boy has been much misunderstood Mankind have revenged
themselves upon him by misrepresentation for having so far eclipsed the rest of
his species It was necessary to the realising his project that he should pass
for a God It was the only way by which he could get a firm hold upon the
veneration of the stupid and bigoted Persians It was this and not a mad
vanity that was the source of his proceeding And how much had he to struggle
with in this respect in the unapprehending obstinacy of some of his Macedonians
Why then sir at last Alexander did but employ means that all politicians
profess to use as well as he He dragooned men into wisdom and cheated them
into the pursuit of their own happiness But what is worse sir this Alexander
in the paroxysm of his headlong rage spared neither friend nor foe You will not
pretend to justify the excesses of his ungovernable passion It is impossible
sure that a word can be said for a man whom a momentary provocation can hurry
into the commission of murders
The instant I had uttered these words I felt what it was that I had done
There was a magnetical sympathy between me and my patron so that their effect
was not sooner produced upon him than my own mind reproached me with the
inhumanity of the allusion Our confusion was mutual The blood forsook at once
the transparent complexion of Mr Falkland and then rushed back again with
rapidity and fierceness I dared not utter a word lest I should commit a new
error worse than that into which I had just fallen After a short but severe
struggle to continue the conversation Mr Falkland began with trepidation but
afterwards became calmer
You are not candid Alexander You must learn more clemency Alexander I
say does not deserve this rigour Do you remember his tears his remorse his
determined abstinence from food which he could scarcely be persuaded to
relinquish Did not that prove acute feeling and a rooted principle of equity
Well well Alexander was a true and judicious lover of mankind and his real
merits have been little comprehended
I know not how to make the state of my mind at that moment accurately
understood When one idea has got possession of the soul it is scarcely
possible to keep it from finding its way to the lips Error once committed has
a fascinating power like that ascribed to the eyes of the rattle snake to draw
us into a second error It deprives us of that proud confidence in our own
strength to which we are indebted for so much of our virtue Curiosity is a
restless propensity and often does but hurry us forward the more irresistibly
the greater is the danger that attends its indulgence
Clitus said I was a man of very coarse and provoking manners was he not
Mr Falkland felt the full force of this appeal He gave me a penetrating
look as if he would see my very soul His eyes were then in an instant
withdrawn I could perceive him seized with a convulsive shuddering which
though strongly counteracted and therefore scarcely visible had I know not
what of terrible in it He left his employment strode about the room in anger
his visage gradually assumed an expression as of supernatural barbarity he
quitted the apartment abruptly and flung the door with a violence that seemed
to shake the house
Is this said I the fruit of conscious guilt or of the disgust that a man
of honour conceives at guilt undeservedly imputed
Chapter II
The reader will feel how rapidly I was advancing to the brink of the precipice
I had a confused apprehension of what I was doing but I could not stop myself
Is it possible said I that Mr Falkland who is thus overwhelmed with a sense
of the unmerited dishonour that has been fastened upon him in the face of the
world will long endure the presence of a raw and unfriended youth who is
perpetually bringing back that dishonour to his recollection and who seems
himself the most forward to entertain the accusation
I felt indeed that Mr Falkland would not hastily incline to dismiss me for
the same reason that restrained him from many other actions which might seem to
favour of a too tender and ambiguous sensibility But this reflexion was little
adapted to comfort me That he should cherish in his heart a growing hatred
against me and that he should think himself obliged to retain me a continual
thorn in his side was an idea by no means of favourable augury to my future
peace
It was some time after this that in clearing out a case of drawers I found a
paper that by some accident had slipped behind one of the drawers and been
overlooked At another time perhaps my curiosity might have given way to the
laws of decorum and I should have restored it unopened to my master its owner
But my eagerness for information had been too much stimulated by the preceding
incidents to allow me at present to neglect any occasion of obtaining it The
paper proved to be a letter written by the elder Hawkins and from its contents
seemed to have been penned when he had first been upon the point of absconding
from the persecutions of Mr Tyrrel It was as follows
Honourable Sir
I have waited some time in daily hope of your honours return into
these parts Old Warnes and his dame who are left to take care of your
house tell me they cannot say when that will be nor justly in what
part of England you are at present For my share misfortune comes so
thick upon me that I must determine upon something that is for
certain and out of hand Our squire who I must own at first used me
kindly enough though I am afraid that was partly out of spite to squire
Underwood has since determined to be the ruin of me Sir I have been
no craven I fought it up stoutly for after all you know God bless
your honour it is but a man to a man but he has been too much for me
Perhaps if I were to ride over to the market town and enquire of
Munsle your lawyer he could tell me how to direct to you But having
hoped and waited o this fashion and all in vain has put me upon other
thoughts I was in no hurry sir to apply to you for I do not love to
be a trouble to any body I kept that for my last stake Well sir and
now that has failed me like I am ashamed as it were to have thought of
it Have not I thinks I arms and legs as well as other people I am
driven out of house and home Well and what then Sure I arnt a
cabbage that if you pull it out of the ground it must die I am
pennyless True and how many hundreds are there that live from hand to
mouth all the days of their life Begging your honours pardon thinks
I if we little folks had but the wit to do for ourselves the great
folks would not be such maggoty changelings as they are They would
begin to look about them
But there is another thing that has swayed with me more than all the
rest I do not know how to tell you sir My poor boy my Leonard the
pride of my life has been three weeks in the county jail It is true
indeed sir Squire Tyrrel put him there Now sir every time that I
lay my head upon my pillow under my own little roof my heart smites me
with the situation of my Leonard I do not mean so much for the
hardship I do not so much matter that I do not expect him to go
through the world upon velvet I am not such a fool But who can tell
what may hap in a jail I have been three times to see him and there is
one man in the same quarter of the prison that looks so wicked I do not
much fancy the looks of the rest To be sure Leonard is as good a lad as
ever lived I think he will not give his mind to such But come what
will I am determined he shall not stay among them twelve hours longer
I am an obstinate old fool perhaps but I have taken it into my head
and I will do it Do not ask me what But if I were to write to your
honour and wait for your answer it might take a week or ten days more
I must not think of it
Squire Tyrrel is very headstrong and you your honour might be a
little hottish or so No I would not have any body quarrel for me
There has been mischief enough done already and I will get myself out
of the way So I write this your honour merely to unload my mind I
feel myself equally as much bound to respect and love you as if you had
done every thing for me that I believe you would have done if things had
chanced differently It is most likely you will never hear of me any
more If it should be so set your worthy heart at rest I know myself
too well ever to be tempted to do any thing that is really bad I have
now my fortune to seek in the world I have been used ill enough God
knows But I bear no malice my heart is at peace with all mankind and
I forgive every body It is like enough that poor Leonard and I may have
hardship enough to undergo among strangers and being obliged to hide
ourselves like housebreakers or highwaymen But I defy all the malice of
fortune to make us do an ill thing That consolation we will always keep
against all the crosses of a heartbreaking world
God bless you
So prays
Your honours humble servant
to command
Benjamin Hawkins
I read this letter with considerable attention and it occasioned me many
reflections To my way of thinking it contained a very interesting picture of a
blunt downright honest mind It is a melancholy consideration said I to
myself but such is man To have judged from appearances one would have said
This is a fellow to have taken fortunes buffets and rewards with an
incorruptible mind And yet see where it all ends This man was capable of
afterwards becoming a murderer and finished his life at the gallows O poverty
thou art indeed omnipotent Thou grindest us into desperation thou confoundest
all our boasted and most deeprooted principles thou fillest us to the very
brim with malice and revenge and renderest us capable of acts of unknown
horror May I never be visited by thee in the fulness of thy power
Having satisfied my curiosity with respect to this paper I took care to
dispose of it in such a manner as that it should be found by Mr Falkland at
the same time that in obedience to the principle which at present governed me
with absolute dominion I was willing that the way in which it offered itself to
his attention should suggest to him the idea that it had possibly passed
through my hands The next morning I saw him and I exerted myself to lead the
conversation which by this time I well knew how to introduce by insensible
degrees to the point I desired After several previous questions remarks and
rejoinders I continued
Well sir after all I cannot help feeling very uncomfortably as to my
ideas of human nature when I find that there is no dependence to be placed upon
its perseverance and that at least among the illiterate the most promising
appearances may end in the foulest disgrace
You think then that literature and a cultivated mind are the only assurance
for the constancy of our principles
Humh why do you suppose sir that learning and ingenuity do not often
serve people rather to hide their crimes than to restrain them from committing
them History tells us strange things in that respect
Williams said Mr Falkland a little disturbed you are extremely given to
censure and severity
I hope not I am sure I am most fond of looking on the other side of the
picture and considering how many men have been aspersed and even at some time
or other almost torn to pieces by their fellow creatures whom when properly
understood we find worthy of our reverence and love
Indeed replied Mr Falkland with a sigh when I consider these things I do
not wonder at the dying exclamation of Brutus O Virtue I sought thee as a
substance but I find thee an empty name I am too much inclined to be of his
opinion
Why to be sure sir innocence and guilt are too much confounded in human
life I remember an affecting story of a poor man in the reign of queen
Elizabeth who would have infallibly been hanged for murder upon the strength of
circumstantial evidence if the person really concerned had not been himself
upon the jury and prevented it
In saying this I touched the spring that wakened madness in his mind He
came up to me with a ferocious countenance as if determined to force me into a
confession of my thoughts A sudden pang however seemed to change his design he
drew back with trepidation and exclaimed Detested be the universe and the
laws that govern it Honour justice virtue are all the juggle of knaves If it
were in my power I would instantly crush the whole system into nothing
I replied Oh sir things are not so bad as you imagine The world was made
for men of sense to do what they will with it Its affairs cannot be better than
in the direction of the genuine heroes and as in the end they will be found
the truest friends of the whole so the multitude have nothing to do but to
look on be fashioned and admire
Mr Falkland made a powerful effort to recover his tranquillity Williams
said he you instruct me well You have a right notion of things and I have
great hopes of you I will be more of a man I will forget the past and do
better for the time to come The future the future is always our own
I am sorry sir that I have given you pain I am afraid to say all that I
think But it is my opinion that mistakes will ultimately be cleared up justice
done and the true state of things come to light in spite of the false colours
that may for a time obscure it
The idea I suggested did not give Mr Falkland the proper degree of delight
He suffered a temporary relapse Justice he muttered I do not know what is
justice My case is not within the reach of common remedies perhaps of none I
only know that I am miserable I began life with the best intentions and the
most fervid philanthropy and here I am miserable miserable beyond
expression or endurance
Having said this he seemed suddenly to recollect himself and reassume his
accustomed dignity and command How came this conversation cried he Who gave
you a right to be my confident Base artful wretch that you are learn to be
more respectful Are my passions to be wound and unwound by an insolent
domestic Do you think I will be an instrument to be played on at your pleasure
till you have extorted all the treasures of my soul Begone and fear lest you
be made to pay for the temerity you have already committed
There was an energy and determination in the gestures with which these words
were accompanied that did not admit of their being disputed My mouth was
closed I felt as if deprived of all share of activity and was only able
silently and passively to quit the apartment
Chapter III
Two days subsequent to this conversation Mr Falkland ordered me to be called to
him I shall continue to speak in my narrative of the silent as well as the
articulate part of the intercourse between us His countenance was habitually
animated and expressive much beyond that of any other man I have seen The
curiosity which as I have said constituted my ruling passion stimulated me
to make it my perpetual study It will also most probably happen while I am
thus employed in collecting together the scattered incidents of my history that
I shall upon some occasions annex to appearances an explanation which I was far
from possessing at the time and was only suggested to me through the medium of
subsequent events
When I entered the apartment I remarked in Mr Falklands countenance an
unwonted composure This composure however did not seem to result from internal
ease but from an effort which while he prepared himself for an interesting
scene was exerted to prevent his presence of mind and power of voluntary action
from suffering any diminution
Williams said he I am determined whatever it may cost me to have an
explanation with you You are a rash and inconsiderate boy and have given me
much disturbance You ought to have known that though I allow you to talk with
me upon indifferent subjects it is very improper in you to lead the
conversation to any thing that relates to my personal concerns You have said
many things lately in a very mysterious way and appear to know something more
than I am aware of I am equally at a loss to guess how you came by your
knowledge as of what it consists But I think I perceive too much inclination
on your part to trifle with my peace of mind That ought not to be nor have I
deserved any such treatment from you But be that as it will the guesses in
which you oblige me to employ myself are too painful It is a sort of sporting
with my feeling which as a man of resolution I am determined to bring to an
end I expect you therefore to lay aside all mystery and equivocation and
inform me explicitly what it is upon which your allusions are built What is it
you know What is it you want I have been too much exposed already to
unparalleled mortification and hardship and my wounds will not bear this
perpetual tampering
I feel sir answered I how wrong I have been and am ashamed that such a
one as I should have given you all this trouble and displeasure I felt it at
the time but I have been hurried along I do not know how I have always tried
to stop myself but the demon that possessed me was too strong for me I know
nothing sir but what Mr Collins told me He told me the story of Mr Tyrrel
and miss Melvile and Hawkins I am sure sir he said nothing but what was to
your honour and proved you to be more an angel than a man
Well sir I found a letter written by that Hawkins the other day did not
that letter fall into your hands Did not you read it
For Gods sake sir turn me out of your house Punish me in some way or
other that I may forgive myself I am a foolish wicked despicable wretch I
confess sir I did read the letter
And how dared you read it It was indeed very wrong of you But we will talk
of that by and by Well and what did you say to the letter You know it seems
that Hawkins was hanged
I say sir why it went to my heart to read it I say as I said the day
before yesterday that when I see a man of so much principle afterwards
deliberately proceeding to the very worst of crimes I can scarcely bear to
think of it
That is what you say It seems too you know accursed remembrance that I
was accused of this crime
I was silent
Well sir You know too perhaps that from the hour the crime was committed
yes sir that was the date and as he said this there was somewhat
frightful I had almost said diabolical in his countenance I have not had an
hours peace I became changed from the happiest into the most miserable thing
that lives sleep has fled from my eyes joy has been a stranger to my thoughts
and annihilation I should prefer a thousand times to the being that I lead As
soon as I was capable of a choice I chose honour and the esteem of mankind as a
good I preferred to all others You know it seems in how many ways my ambition
has been disappointed I do not thank Collins for having been the historian of
my disgrace Would to God that night could be blotted from the memory of man
But the scene of that night instead of perishing has been a source of ever
new calamity to me which must flow for ever Am I then thus miserable and
ruined a proper subject upon which for you to exercise your ingenuity and
improve your power of tormenting Was it not enough that I was publicly
dishonoured that I was deprived by the pestilential influence of some demon of
the opportunity of avenging my dishonour No in addition to this I have been
charged with having in this critical moment intercepted my own vengeance by the
foulest of crimes That trial is past Misery itself has nothing worse in store
for me except what you have inflicted the seeming to doubt of my innocence
which after the fullest and most solemn examination has been completely
established You have forced me to this explanation You have extorted from me a
confidence which I had no inclination to make But it is a part of the misery of
my situation that I am at the mercy of every creature however little who
feels himself inclined to sport with my distress Be content You have brought
me low enough
Oh sir I am not content I cannot be content I cannot bear to think what
I have done I shall never again be able to look in the face the best of masters
and the best of men I beg of you sir to turn me out of your service Let me
go and hide myself where I may never see you more
Mr Falklands countenance had indicated great severity through the whole of
this conversation but now it became more harsh and tempestuous than ever How
now rascal cried he You want to leave me do you Who told you that I wished
to part with you But you cannot bear to live with such a miserable wretch as I
am You are not disposed to put up with the caprices of a man so dissatisfied
and unjust
Oh sir do not talk to me thus Do with me any thing you will Kill me if
you please
Kill you Volumes could not describe the emotions with which this echo of
my words was given and received
Sir I could die to serve you I love you more than I can express I worship
you as a being of a superior nature I am foolish raw inexperienced worse
than any of these but never did a thought of disloyalty to your service enter
into my heart
Here our conversation ended and the impression it made upon my youthful
mind it is impossible to describe I thought with astonishment even with
rapture of the attention and kindness towards me I discovered in Mr Falkland
through all the roughness of his manner I could never enough wonder at finding
myself humble as I was by my birth obscure as I had hitherto been thus
suddenly become of so much importance to the happiness of one of the most
enlightened and accomplished men in England But this consciousness attached me
to my patron more eagerly than ever and made me swear a thousand times as I
meditated upon my situation that I would never prove unworthy of so generous a
protector
Chapter IV
Is it not unaccountable that in the midst of all my increased veneration for my
patron the first tumult of my emotion was scarcely subsided before the old
question that had excited my conjectures recurred to my mind Was he the
murderer It was a kind of fatal impulse that seemed destined to hurry me to my
destruction I did not wonder at the disturbance that was given to Mr Falkland
by any allusion however distant to this fatal affair That was as completely
accounted for from the consideration of his excessive sensibility in matters of
honour as it would have been upon the supposition of the most atrocious guilt
Knowing as he did that such a charge had once been connected with his name he
would of course be perpetually uneasy and suspect some latent insinuation at
every possible opportunity He would doubt and fear lest every man with whom he
conversed harboured the foulest suspicions against him In my case he found that
I was in possession of some information more than he was aware of without its
being possible for him to decide to what it amounted whether I had heard a just
or unjust a candid or calumniatory tale He had also reason to suppose that I
gave entertainment to thoughts derogatory to his honour and that I did not form
that favourable judgment which the exquisite refinement of his ruling passion
made indispensible to his peace All these considerations would of course
maintain in him a state of perpetual uneasiness But though I could find
nothing that I could consider as justifying me in persisting in the shadow of a
doubt yet as I have said the uncertainty and restlessness of my
contemplations would by no means depart from me
The fluctuating state of my mind produced a contention of opposite
principles that by turns usurped dominion over my conduct Sometimes I was
influenced by the most complete veneration for my master I placed an unreserved
confidence in his integrity and his virtue and implicitly surrendered my
understanding for him to set it to what point he pleased At other times the
confidence which had before flowed with the most plenteous tide began to ebb
I was as I had already been watchful inquisitive suspicious full of a
thousand conjectures as to the meaning of the most indifferent actions Mr
Falkland who was most painfully alive to every thing that related to his
honour saw these variations and betrayed his consciousness of them now in one
manner and now in another frequently before I was myself aware sometimes
almost before they existed The situation of both was distressing we were each
of us a plague to the other and I often wondered that the forbearance and
benignity of my master was not at length exhausted and that he did not
determine to thrust from him for ever so incessant an observer There was indeed
one eminent difference between his share in the transaction and mine I had some
consolation in the midst of my restlessness Curiosity is a principle that
carries its pleasures as well as its pains along with it The mind is urged by a
perpetual stimulus it seems as if it were continually approaching to the end of
its race and as the insatiable desire of satisfaction is its principle of
conduct so it promises itself in that satisfaction an unknown gratification
which seems as if it were capable of fully compensating any injuries that may be
suffered in the career But to Mr Falkland there was no consolation What he
endured in the intercourse between us appeared to be gratuitous evil He had
only to wish that there was no such person as myself in the world and to curse
the hour when his humanity led him to rescue me from my obscurity and place me
in his service
A consequence produced upon me by the extraordinary nature of my situation
it is necessary to mention The constant state of vigilance and suspicion in
which my mind was retained worked a very rapid change in my character It seemed
to have all the effect that might have been expected from years of observation
and experience The strictness with which I endeavoured to remark what passed in
the mind of one man and the variety of conjectures into which I was led
appeared as it were to render me a competent adept in the different modes in
which the human intellect displays its secret workings I no longer said to
myself as I had done in the beginning »I will ask Mr Falkland whether he were
the murderer« On the contrary after having carefully examined the different
kinds of evidence of which the subject was susceptible and recollecting all
that had already passed upon the subject it was not without considerable pain
that I felt myself unable to discover any way in which I could be perfectly and
unalterably satisfied of my patrons innocence As to his guilt I could
scarcely bring myself to doubt that in some way or other sooner or later I
should arrive at the knowledge of that if it really existed But I could not
endure to think almost for a moment of that side of the alternative as true
and with all my ungovernable suspicion arising from the mysteriousness of the
circumstances and all the delight which a young and unfledged mind receives
from ideas that give scope to all that imagination can picture of terrible or
sublime I could not yet bring myself to consider Mr Falklands guilt as a
supposition attended with the remotest probability
I hope the reader will forgive me for dwelling thus long on preliminary
circumstances I shall come soon enough to the story of my own misery I have
already said that one of the motives which induced me to the penning of this
narrative was to console myself in my insupportable distress I derive a
melancholy pleasure from dwelling upon the circumstances which imperceptibly
paved the way to my ruin While I recollect or describe past scenes which
occurred in a more favourable period of my life my attention is called off for
a short interval from the hopeless misfortune in which I am at present involved
The man must indeed possess an uncommon portion of hardness of heart who can
envy me so slight a relief To proceed
For some time after the explanation which had thus taken place between me
and Mr Falkland his melancholy instead of being in the slightest degree
diminished by the lenient hand of time went on perpetually to increase His
fits of insanity for such I must denominate them for want of a distinct
appellation though it is possible they might not fall under the definition that
either the faculty or the court of chancery appropriate to that term became
stronger and more durable than ever It was no longer practicable wholly to
conceal them from the family and even from the neighbourhood He would sometimes
without any previous notice absent himself from his house for two or three days
unaccompanied by servant or attendant This was the more extraordinary as it
was well known that he paid no visits nor kept up any sort of intercourse with
the gentlemen of the vicinity But it was impossible that a man of Mr
Falklands distinction and fortune should long continue in such a practice
without its being discovered what was become of him though a considerable part
of our county was among the wildest and most desolate districts that are to be
found in South Britain Mr Falkland was sometimes seen climbing among the
rocks reclining motionless for hours together upon the edge of a precipice or
lulled into a kind of nameless lethargy of despair by the dashing of the
torrents He would remain for whole nights together under the naked cope of
heaven inattentive to the consideration either of place or time insensible to
the variations of the weather or rather seeming to be delighted with that
uproar of the elements which partially called off his attention from the discord
and dejection which occupied his own mind
At first when we received intelligence at any time of the place to which
Mr Falkland had withdrawn himself some person of his household Mr Collins or
myself but most generally myself as I was always at home and always in the
received sense of that word at leisure went to him to persuade him to return
But after a few experiments we thought it advisable to desist and to leave him
to prolong his absence or to terminate it as might happen to suit his own
inclination Mr Collins whose grey hairs and long services seemed to give him
a sort of right to be importunate sometimes succeeded though even in that case
there was nothing that could sit more uneasily upon Mr Falkland than this
insinuation as if he wanted a guardian to take care of him or as if he were
in or in danger of falling into a state in which he would be incapable of
deliberately controling his own words and actions At one time he would sullenly
yield to his humble venerable friend murmuring grievously at the constraint
that was put upon him but without spirit enough even to complain of it with
energy At another time even though complying he would suddenly burst out in a
paroxysm of resentment Upon these occasions there was something inconceivably
savagely terrible in his anger that gave to the person against whom it was
directed the most humiliating and insupportable sensations Me he always treated
at these times with fierceness and drove me from him with a vehemence lofty
emphatical and sustained beyond any thing of which I should have thought human
nature to be capable These sallies seemed always to constitute a sort of crisis
in his indisposition and whenever he was induced to such a premature return
he would fall immediately after into a state of the most melancholy inactivity
in which he usually continued for two or three days It was by an obstinate
fatality that whenever I saw Mr Falkland in these deplorable situations and
particularly when I lighted upon him after having sought him among the rocks and
precipices pale emaciated solitary and haggard the suggestion would
continually recur to me in spite of inclination in spite of persuasion and in
spite of evidence Surely this man is a murderer
Chapter V
It was in one of the lucid intervals as I may term them that occurred during
this period that a peasant was brought before him in his character of a
justice of peace upon an accusation of having murdered his fellow As Mr
Falkland had by this time acquired the repute of a melancholy valetudinarian it
is probable he would not have been called upon to act in his official character
upon the present occasion had it not been that two or three of the neighbouring
justices were all of them from home at once so that he was the only one to be
found in a circuit of many miles The reader however must not imagine though I
have employed the word insanity in describing Mr Falklands symptoms that he
was by any means reckoned for a madman by the generality of those who had
occasion to observe him It is true that his behaviour at certain times was
singular and unaccountable but then at other times there was in it so much
dignity regularity and economy he knew so well how to command and make himself
respected his actions and carriage were so condescending considerate and
benevolent that far from having forfeited the esteem of the unfortunate or the
many they were loud and earnest in his praises
I was present at the examination of this peasant The moment I heard of the
errand which had brought this rabble of visitors a sudden thought struck me I
conceived the possibility of rendering the incident subordinate to the great
enquiry which drank up all the currents of my soul I said This man is
arraigned of murder and murder is the master key that wakes distemper in the
mind of Mr Falkland I will watch him without remission I will trace all the
mazes of his thought Surely at such a time his secret anguish must betray
itself Surely if it be not my own fault I shall now be able to discover the
state of his plea before the tribunal of unerring justice
I took my station in a manner most favourable to the object upon which my
mind was intent I could perceive in Mr Falklands features as he entered a
strong reluctance to the business in which he was engaged but there was no
possibility of retreating His countenance was embarrassed and anxious he
scarcely saw any body The examination had not proceeded far before he chanced
to turn his eye to the part of the room where I was It happened in this as in
some preceding instances we exchanged a silent look by which we told volumes to
each other Mr Falklands complexion turned from red to pale and from pale to
red I perfectly understood his feelings and would willingly have withdrawn
myself But it was impossible my passions were too deeply engaged I was rooted
to the spot though my own life that of my master or almost of a whole nation
had been at stake I had no power to change my position
The first surprise however having subsided Mr Falkland assumed a look of
determined constancy and even seemed to increase in selfpossession much beyond
what could have been expected from his first entrance This he could probably
have maintained had it not been that the scene instead of being permanent was
in some sort perpetually changing The man who was brought before him was
vehemently accused by the brother of the deceased as having acted from the most
rooted malice He swore that there had been an old grudge between the parties
and related several instances of it He affirmed that the murderer had sought
the earliest opportunity of wreaking his revenge had struck the first blow
and though the contest was in appearance only a common boxing match had
watched the occasion of giving a fatal stroke which was followed by the instant
death of his antagonist
While the accuser was giving in his evidence the accused discovered every
token of the most poignant sensibility At one time his features were convulsed
with anguish tears unbidden rolled down his manly cheeks and at another he
started with astonishment at the unfavorable turn that was given to the
narrative though without betraying any impatience to interrupt I never saw a
man less ferocious in his appearance He was tall well made and comely His
countenance was ingenuous and benevolent without folly By his side stood a
young woman his sweetheart extremely agreeable in her person and her looks
testifying how deeply she interested herself in the fate of her lover The
accidental spectators were divided between indignation against the enormity of
the supposed criminal and compassion for the poor girl that accompanied him
They seemed to take little notice of the favourable appearances visible in the
person of the accused till in the sequel those appearances were more forcibly
suggested to their attention For Mr Falkland he was at one moment engrossed
by curiosity and earnestness to investigate the tale while at another he
betrayed a sort of revulsion of sentiment which made the investigation too
painful for him to support
When the accused was called upon for his defence he readily owned the
misunderstanding that had existed and that the deceased was the worst enemy he
had in the world Indeed he was his only enemy and he could not tell the reason
that had made him so He had employed every possible effort to overcome his
animosity but in vain The deceased had upon all occasions sought to mortify
him and do him an ill turn but he had resolved never to be engaged in a broil
with him and till this day he had succeeded If he had met with a misfortune
with any other man people at least might have thought it accident but now it
would always be believed that he had acted from secret malice and a bad heart
The fact was that he and his sweetheart had gone to a neighbouring fair
where this man had met them The man had often tried to affront him and his
passiveness interpreted into cowardice had perhaps encouraged the other to
additional rudeness Finding that he had endured trivial insults to himself with
an even temper the deceased now thought proper to turn his brutality upon the
young woman that accompanied him He pursued them he endeavoured in various
manners to harass and vex them they had sought in vain to shake him off The
young woman was considerably terrified The accused expostulated with their
persecutor and asked him how he could be so barbarous as to persist in
frightening a woman He replied with an insulting tone Then the woman should
find some one able to protect her people that encouraged and trusted to such a
thief as that deserved no better The accused tried every expedient he could
invent at length he could endure it no longer he became exasperated and
challenged the assailant The challenge was accepted a ring was formed he
confided the care of his sweetheart to a bystander and unfortunately the first
blow he struck proved fatal
The accused added that he did not care what became of him He had been
anxious to go through the world in an inoffensive manner and now he had the
guilt of blood upon him He did not know but it would be a kindness in them to
hang him out of the way for his conscience would reproach him as long as he
lived and the figure of the deceased as he had laid senseless and without
motion at his feet would perpetually haunt him The thought of this man at one
moment full of life and vigour and the next lifted a helpless corpse from the
ground and all owing to him was a thought too dreadful to be endured He had
loved the poor maiden who had been the innocent occasion of this with all his
heart but from this time he should never support the sight of her The sight
would bring a tribe of fiends in its rear One unlucky minute had poisoned all
his hopes and made life a burden to him Saying this his countenance fell
the muscles of his face trembled with agony and he looked the statue of
despair
This was the story of which Mr Falkland was called upon to be the auditor
Though the incidents were for the most part wide of those which belonged to the
adventures of the preceding volume and there had been much less policy and
skill displayed on either part in this rustic encounter yet there were many
points which to a man who bore the former strongly in his recollection
suggested a sufficient resemblance In each case it was a human brute persisting
in a course of hostility to a man of benevolent character and suddenly and
terribly cut off in the midst of his career These points perpetually smote upon
the heart of Mr Falkland He at one time started with astonishment and at
another shifted his posture like a man who is unable longer to endure the
sensations that press upon him Then he new strung his nerves to stubborn
patience I could see while his muscles preserved an inflexible steadiness
tears of anguish roll down his cheeks He dared not trust his eyes to glance
towards the side of the room where I stood and this gave an air of
embarrassment to his whole figure But when the accused came to speak of his
own feelings to describe the depth of his compunction for an involuntary fault
he could endure it no longer He suddenly rose and with every mark of horror
and despair rushed out of the room
This circumstance made no material difference in the affair of the accused
The parties were detained about half an hour Mr Falkland had already heard the
material parts of the evidence in person At the expiration of that interval he
sent for Mr Collins out of the room The story of the culprit was confirmed by
many witnesses who had seen the transaction Word was brought that my master was
indisposed and at the same time the accused was ordered to be discharged The
vengeance of the brother however as I afterwards found did not rest here and
he met with a magistrate more scrupulous or more despotic by whom the culprit
was committed for trial
This affair was no sooner concluded than I hastened into the garden and
plunged into the deepest of its thickets My mind was full almost to bursting I
no sooner conceived myself sufficiently removed from all observation than my
thoughts forced their way spontaneously to my tongue and I exclaimed in a fit
of uncontrolable enthusiasm »This is the murderer the Hawkinses were innocent
I am sure of it I will pledge my life for it It is out It is discovered
Guilty upon my soul«
While I thus proceeded with hasty steps along the most secret paths of the
garden and from time to time gave vent to the tumult of my thoughts in
involuntary exclamations I felt as if my animal system had undergone a total
revolution My blood boiled within me I was conscious to a kind of rapture for
which I could not account I was solemn yet full of rapid emotion burning with
indignation and energy In the very tempest and hurricane of the passions I
seemed to enjoy the most soulravishing calm I cannot better express the then
state of my mind than by saying I was never so perfectly alive as at that
moment
This state of mental elevation continued for several hours but at length
subsided and gave place to more deliberate reflection One of the first
questions that then occurred was What shall I do with the knowledge I have been
so eager to acquire I had no inclination to turn informer I felt what I had
had no previous conception of that it was possible to love a murderer and as
I then understood it the worst of murderers I conceived it to be in the
highest degree absurd and iniquitous to cut off a man qualified for the most
essential and extensive utility merely out of retrospect to an act which
whatever were its merits could not be retrieved
This thought led me to another which had at first passed unnoticed If I had
been disposed to turn informer what had occurred amounted to no evidence that
was admissible in a court of justice Well then added I if it be such as would
not be admitted at a criminal tribunal am I sure it is such as I ought to
admit There were twenty persons beside myself present at the scene from which I
pretend to derive such entire conviction Not one of them saw it in the light
that I did It either appeared to them a casual and unimportant circumstance or
they thought it sufficiently accounted for by Mr Falklands infirmity and
misfortunes Did it really contain such an extent of arguments and application
that nobody but I was discerning enough to see
But all this reasoning produced no alteration in my way of thinking For
this time I could not get it out of my mind for a moment »Mr Falkland is the
murderer He is guilty I see it I feel it I am sure of it« Thus was I
hurried along by an uncontrolable destiny The state of my passions in their
progressive career the inquisitiveness and impatience of my thoughts appeared
to make this determination unavoidable
An incident occurred while I was in the garden that seemed to make no
impression upon me at the time but which I recollected when my thoughts were
got into somewhat of a slower motion In the midst of one of my paroxysms of
exclamation and when I thought myself most alone the shadow of a man as
avoiding me passed transiently by me at a small distance Though I had scarcely
caught a faint glimpse of his person there was something in the occurrence that
persuaded me it was Mr Falkland I shuddered at the possibility of his having
overheard the words of my soliloquy But this idea alarming as it was had not
power immediately to suspend the career of my reflections Subsequent
circumstances however brought back the apprehension to my mind I had scarcely a
doubt of its reality when dinner time came and Mr Falkland was not to be
found Supper and bedtime passed in the same manner The only conclusion made
by his servants upon this circumstance was that he was gone upon one of his
accustomed melancholy rambles
Chapter VI
The period at which my story is now arrived seemed as if it were the very crisis
of the fortune of Mr Falkland Incident followed upon incident in a kind of
breathless succession About nine oclock the next morning an alarm was given
that one of the chimnies of the house was on fire No accident could be
apparently more trivial but presently it blazed with such fury as to make it
clear that some beam of the house which in the first building had been
improperly placed had been reached by the flames Some danger was apprehended
for the whole edifice The confusion was the greater in consequence of the
absence of the master as well as of Mr Collins the steward While some of the
domestics were employed in endeavouring to extinguish the flames it was thought
proper that others should busy themselves in removing the most valuable
moveables to a lawn in the garden I took some command in the affair to which
indeed my station in the family seemed to entitle me and for which I was judged
qualified by my understanding and mental resources
Having given some general directions I conceived that it was not enough to
stand by and superintend but that I should contribute my personal labour in the
public concern I set out for that purpose and my steps by some mysterious
fatality were directed to the private apartment at the end of the library Here
as I looked round my eye was suddenly caught by the trunk mentioned in the
first pages of my narrative
My mind was already raised to its utmost pitch In a windowseat of the room
lay a number of chissels and other carpenters tools I know not what
infatuation instantaneously seized me The idea was too powerful to be resisted
I forgot the business upon which I came the employment of the servants and the
urgency of general danger I should have done the same if the flames that
seemed to extend as they proceeded and already surmounted the house had
reached this very apartment I snatched a tool suitable for the purpose threw
myself upon the ground and applied with eagerness to a magazine which inclosed
all for which my heart panted After two or three efforts in which the energy
of uncontrolable passion was added to my bodily strength the fastenings gave
way the trunk opened and all that I sought was at once within my reach
I was in the act of lifting up the lid when Mr Falkland entered wild
breathless distraction in his looks He had been brought home from a
considerable distance by the sight of the flames At the moment of his
appearance the lid dropt down from my hand He no sooner saw me than his eyes
emitted sparks of rage He ran with eagerness to a brace of loaded pistols which
hung up in the room and seizing one presented it to my head I saw his
design and sprang to avoid it but with the same rapidity with which he had
formed his resolution he changed it and instantly went to the window and flung
the pistol into the court below He bade me begone with his usual irresistible
energy and overcome as I was already by the horror of the detection I eagerly
complied
A moment after a considerable part of the chimney was tumbled with noise
into the court below and a voice exclaimed that the fire was more violent than
ever These circumstances seemed to produce a mechanical effect upon my patron
who having first locked the closet appeared on the outside of the house
ascended the roof and was in a moment in every place where his presence was
required The flames were at length extinguished
The reader can with difficulty form a conception of the state to which I was
now reduced My act was in some sort an act of insanity but how undescribable
are the feelings with which I looked back upon it It was an instantaneous
impulse a short lived and passing alienation of mind but what must Mr
Falkland think of that alienation To any man a person who had once shown
himself capable of so wild a flight of the mind, must appear dangerous how must
he appear to a man under Mr Falklands circumstances I had just had a pistol
held to my head by a man resolved to put a period to my existence That indeed
was past but what was it that fate had yet in reserve for me The insatiable
vengeance of a Falkland of a man whose hands were to my apprehension red with
blood and his thoughts familiar with cruelty and murder How great were the
resources of his mind resources henceforth to be confederated for my
destruction This was the termination of an ungoverned curiosity an impulse
that I had represented to myself as so innocent and so venial
In the high tide of boiling passion I had overlooked all consequences It
now appeared to me like a dream Is it in man to leap from the highraised
precipice or rush unconcerned into the midst of flames Was it possible I could
have forgotten for a moment the awe creating manners of Falkland and the
inexorable fury I should awake in his soul No thought of future security had
reached my mind I had acted upon no plan I had conceived no means of
concealing my deed after it had once been effected But it was over now One
short minute had effected a reverse in my situation the suddenness of which the
history of man perhaps is unable to surpass
I have always been at a loss to account for my having plunged thus headlong
into an act so monstrous There is something in it of unexplained and
involuntary sympathy One sentiment flows by necessity of nature into another
sentiment of the same general character This was the first instance in which I
had witnessed a danger by fire All was confusion around me and all changed
into hurricane within The general situation to my unpractised apprehension
appeared desperate and I by contagion became alike desperate At first I had
been in some degree calm and collected but that too was a desperate effort and
when it gave way a kind of instant insanity became its successor
I had now every thing to fear And yet what was my fault It proceeded from
none of those errors which are justly held up to the aversion of mankind my
object had been neither wealth nor the means of indulgence nor the usurpation
of power No spark of malignity had harboured in my soul I had always
reverenced the sublime mind of Mr Falkland I reverenced it still My offence
had merely been a mistaken thirst of knowledge Such however it was as to admit
neither of forgiveness nor remission This epoch was the crisis of my fate
dividing what may be called the offensive part from the defensive which was the
sole business of my remaining years Alas my offence was short not aggravated
by any sinister intention but the reprisals I was to suffer are long and can
terminate only with my life
In the state in which I found myself when the recollection of what I had
done flowed back upon my mind I was incapable of any resolution All was chaos
and uncertainty within me My thoughts were too full of horror to be susceptible
of activity I felt deserted of my intellectual powers palsied in mind and
compelled to sit in speechless expectation of the misery to which I was
destined To my own conception I was like a man who though blasted with
lightning and deprived for ever of the power of motion should yet retain the
consciousness of his situation Deathdealing despair was the only idea of which
I was sensible
I was still in this situation of mind when Mr Falkland sent for me His
message roused me from my trance In recovering I felt those sickening and
loathsome sensations which a man may be supposed at first to endure who should
return from the sleep of death Gradually I recovered the power of arranging my
ideas and directing my steps I understood that the minute the affair of the
fire was over Mr Falkland had retired to his own room It was evening before he
ordered me to be called
I found in him every token of extreme distress except that there was an air
of solemn and sad composure that crowned the whole For the present all
appearance of gloom stateliness and austerity was gone As I entered he looked
up and seeing who it was ordered me to bolt the door I obeyed He went round
the room and examined its other avenues He then returned to where I stood I
trembled in every joint of my frame I exclaimed within myself »What bloody
scene of death has Roscius now to act«
Williams said he in a tone that had more in it of sorrow than resentment
I have attempted your life I am a wretch devoted to the scorn and execration of
mankind There he stopped
If there be one being in the whole earth that feels the scorn and
execration due to such a wretch more strongly than another it is myself I have
been kept in a state of perpetual torture and madness But I can put an end to
it and its consequences and so far at least as relates to you I am determined
to do it I know the price and I will make the purchase
You must swear said he You must attest every sacrament divine and human
never to disclose what I am now to tell you He dictated the oath and I
repeated it with an aching heart I had no power to offer a word of remark
This confidence said he is of your seeking not of mine It is odious to
me and is dangerous to you
Having thus prefaced the disclosure he had to make he paused He seemed to
collect himself as for an effort of magnitude He wiped his face with his
handkerchief The moisture that incommoded him appeared not to be tears but
sweat
Look at me Observe me Is it not strange that such a one as I should retain
lineaments of a human creature I am the blackest of villains I am the murderer
of Tyrrel I am the assassin of the Hawkinses
I started with terror and was silent
What a story is mine Insulted disgraced polluted in the face of hundreds
I was capable of any act of desperation I watched my opportunity followed Mr
Tyrrel from the rooms seized a sharppointed knife that fell in my way came
behind him and stabbed him to the heart My gigantic oppressor rolled at my
feet
All are but links of one chain A blow A murder My next business was to
defend myself to tell so well digested a lie as that all mankind should
believe it true Never was a task so harrowing and intolerable
Well thus far fortune favoured me She favoured me beyond my desire The
guilt was removed from me and cast upon another but this I was to endure
Whence came the circumstantial evidence against him the broken knife and the
blood I am unable to tell I suppose by some miraculous accident Hawkins was
passing by and endeavoured to assist his oppressor in the agonies of death You
have heard his story you have read one of his letters But you do not know the
thousandth part of the proofs of his simple and unalterable rectitude that I
have known His son suffered with him that son for the sake of whose happiness
and virtue he ruined himself and would have died a hundred times I have had
feelings but I cannot describe them
This it is to be a gentleman a man of honour I was the fool of fame My
virtue my honesty my everlasting peace of mind were cheap sacrifices to be
made at the shrine of this divinity But what is worse there is nothing that
has happened that has in any degree contributed to my cure I am as much the
fool of fame as ever I cling to it to my last breath Though I be the blackest
of villains I will leave behind me a spotless and illustrious name There is no
crime so malignant no scene of blood so horrible in which that object cannot
engage me It is no matter that I regard these things at a distance with
aversion I am sure of it bring me to the test and I shall yield I despise
myself but thus I am things are gone too far to be recalled
Why is it that I am compelled to this confidence From the love of fame I
should tremble at the sight of every pistol or instrument of death that offered
itself to my hands and perhaps my next murder may not be so fortunate as those
I have already committed I had no alternative but to make you my confident or
my victim It was better to trust you with the whole truth under every seal of
secrecy than to live in perpetual fear of your penetration or your rashness
Do you know what it is you have done To gratify a foolishly inquisitive
humour you have sold yourself You shall continue in my service but can never
share in my affection I will benefit you in respect of fortune but I shall
always hate you If ever an unguarded word escape from your lips if ever you
excite my jealousy or suspicion expect to pay for it by your death or worse It
is a dear bargain you have made But it is too late to look back I charge and
adjure you by every thing that is sacred and that is tremendous preserve your
faith
My tongue has now for the first time for several years spoken the language
of my heart and the intercourse from this hour shall be shut for ever I want
no pity I desire no consolation Surrounded as I am with horrors I will at
least preserve my fortitude to the last If I had been reserved to a different
destiny I have qualities in that respect worthy of a better cause I can be
mad miserable and frantic but even in frenzy I can preserve my presence of
mind and discretion
Such was the story I had been so earnestly desirous to know Though my mind had
brooded upon the subject for months there was not a syllable of it that did not
come to my ear with the most perfect sense of novelty Mr Falkland is a
murderer said I as I retired from the conference This dreadful appellative a
murderer made my very blood run cold within me He killed Mr Tyrrel for he
could not control his resentment and anger he sacrificed Hawkins the elder and
Hawkins the younger because he could upon no terms endure the public loss of
honour how can I expect that a man thus passionate and unrelenting will not
sooner or later make me his victim
But notwithstanding this terrible application of the story an application
to which perhaps in some form or other mankind are indebted for nine tenths of
their abhorrence against vice I could not help occasionally recurring to
reflections of an opposite nature Mr Falkland is a murderer resumed I He
might yet be a most excellent man if he did but think so It is the thinking
ourselves vicious then that principally contributes to make us vicious
Amidst the shock I received from finding what I had never suffered myself
constantly to believe that my suspicions were true I still discovered new
cause of admiration for my master His menaces indeed were terrible But when I
recollected the offence I had given so contrary to every received principle of
civilized society so insolent and rude so intolerable to a man of Mr
Falklands elevation and in Mr Falklands peculiarity of circumstances I was
astonished at his forbearance There were indeed sufficiently obvious reasons
why he might not choose to proceed to extremities with me But how different
from the fearful expectations I had conceived were the calmness of his behaviour
and the regulated mildness of his language In this respect I for a short time
imagined that I was emancipated from the mischiefs which had appalled me and
that in having to do with a man of Mr Falklands liberality I had nothing
rigorous to apprehend
It is a miserable prospect said I that he holds up to me He imagines that
I am restrained by no principles and deaf to the claims of personal excellence
But he shall find himself mistaken I will never become an informer I will
never injure my patron and therefore he will not be my enemy With all his
misfortunes and all his errors I feel that my soul yearns for his welfare If
he have been criminal that is owing to circumstances the same qualities under
other circumstances would have been or rather were sublimely beneficent
My reasonings were no doubt infinitely more favourable to Mr Falkland than
those which human beings are accustomed to make in the case of such as they
style great criminals This will not be wondered at when it is considered that I
had myself just been trampling on the established boundaries of obligation and
therefore might well have a fellow feeling for other offenders Add to which I
had known Mr Falkland from the first as a beneficent divinity I had observed
at leisure and with a minuteness which could not deceive me the excellent
qualities of his heart and I found him possessed of a mind beyond comparison
the most fertile and accomplished I had ever known
But though the terrors which had impressed me were considerably alleviated
my situation was notwithstanding sufficiently miserable The ease and
lightheartedness of my youth were for ever gone The voice of an irresistible
necessity had commanded me to sleep no more I was tormented with a secret of
which I must never disburthen myself and this consciousness was at my age a
source of perpetual melancholy I had made myself a prisoner in the most
intolerable sense of that term for years perhaps for the rest of my life
Though my prudence and discretion should be invariable I must remember that I
should have an overseer vigilant from conscious guilt full of resentment at the
unjustifiable means by which I had extorted from him a confession and whose
lightest caprice might at any time decide upon every thing that was dear to me
The vigilance even of a public and systematical despotism is poor compared with
a vigilance which is thus goaded by the most anxious passions of the soul
Against this species of persecution I knew not how to invent a refuge I dared
neither fly from the observation of Mr Falkland nor continue exposed to its
operation I was at first indeed lulled in a certain degree to security upon the
verge of the precipice But it was not long before I found a thousand
circumstances perpetually reminding me of my true situation Those I am now to
relate are among the most memorable
Chapter VII
In no long time after the disclosure Mr Falkland had made Mr Forester his
elder brother by the mothers side came to reside for a short period in our
family This was a circumstance peculiarly adverse to my masters habits and
inclinations He had broken off as I have already said all intercourse of
visiting his neighbours He debarred himself every kind of amusement and
relaxation He shrunk from the society of his fellows and thought he could
never be sufficiently buried in obscurity and solitude This principle was in
most cases of no difficult execution to a man of firmness But Mr Falkland knew
not how to avoid the visit of Mr Forester This gentleman was just returned
from a residence of several years upon the continent and his demand of an
apartment in the house of his halfbrother till his own house at the distance of
thirty miles should be prepared for his reception was made with an air of
confidence that scarcely admitted of a refusal Mr Falkland could only allege
that the state of his health and spirits was such that he feared a residence at
his house would be little agreeable to his kinsman and Mr Forester conceived
that this was a disqualification which would always augment in proportion as it
was tolerated and hoped that his society by inducing Mr Falkland to suspend
his habits of seclusion would be the means of essential benefit Mr Falkland
opposed him no farther He would have been sorry to be thought unkind to a
kinsman for whom he had a particular esteem and the consciousness of not daring
to assign the true reason made him cautious of adhering to his objection
The character of Mr Forester was in many respects the reverse of that of my
master His very appearance indicated the singularity of his disposition His
figure was short and angular His eyes were sunk far into his head and were
overhung with eyebrows black thick and bushy His complexion was swarthy and
his lineaments hard He had seen much of the world but to judge of him from
his appearance and manners one would have thought that he had never moved from
his fireside
His temper was acid petulant and harsh He was easily offended by trifles
respecting which previously to the offence the persons with whom he had
intercourse could have no suspicion of such a result When offended his
customary behaviour was exceedingly rugged He thought only of setting the
delinquent right and humbling him for his error and in his eagerness to do
this overlooked the sensibility of the sufferer and the pains he inflicted
Remonstrance in such a case he regarded as the offspring of cowardice which
was to be extirpated with a steady and unshrinking hand and not soothed with
misjudging kindness and indulgence As is usual in human character he had
formed a system of thinking to suit the current of his feelings He held that
the kindness we entertain for a man should be veiled and concealed exerted in
substantial benefits but not disclosed lest an undue advantage should be taken
of it by its object
With this rugged outside Mr Forester had a warm and generous heart At
first sight all men were deterred by his manner and excited to give him an ill
character But the longer any one knew him the more they approved him His
harshness was then only considered as habit and strong sense and active
benevolence were uppermost in the recollection of his familiar acquaintance His
conversation when he condescended to lay aside his snappish rude and abrupt
halfsentences became flowing in diction and uncommonly amusing with regard to
its substance He combined with weightiness of expression a dryness of
characteristic humour that demonstrated at once the vividness of his
observation and the force of his understanding
The peculiarities of this gentlemans character were not undisplayed in the
scene to which he was now introduced Having much kindness in his disposition
he soon became deeply interested in the unhappiness of his relation He did
every thing in his power to remove it but his attempts were rude and unskilful
With a mind so accomplished and a spirit so susceptible as that of Mr
Falkland Mr Forester did not venture to let loose his usual violence of
manner But if he carefully abstained from harshness he was however wholly
incapable of that sweet and liquid eloquence of the soul which would perhaps
have stood the fairest chance of seducing Mr Falkland for a moment to forget
his anguish He exhorted his host to rouse up his spirit and defy the foul
fiend but the tone of his exhortations found no sympathetic chord in the mind
of my patron He had not the skill to carry conviction to an understanding so
well fortified in error In a word after a thousand efforts of kindness to his
entertainer he drew off his forces growling and dissatisfied with his own
impotence rather than angry at the obstinacy of Mr Falkland He felt no
diminution of his affection for him and was sincerely grieved to find that he
was so little capable of serving him Both parties in this case did justice to
the merits of the other at the same time that the disparity of their humours
was such as to prevent the stranger from being in any degree a dangerous
companion to the master of the house They had scarcely one point of contact in
their characters Mr Forester was incapable of giving Mr Falkland that degree
either of pain or pleasure which can raise the soul into a tumult and deprive
it for a while of tranquillity and selfcommand
Our visitor was a man notwithstanding appearances of a peculiarly sociable
disposition and where he was neither interrupted nor contradicted
considerably loquacious He began to feel himself painfully out of his element
upon the present occasion Mr Falkland was devoted to contemplation and
solitude He put upon himself some degree of restraint upon the arrival of his
kinsman though even then his darling habits would break out But when they had
seen each other a certain number of times and it was sufficiently evident that
the society of either would be a burthen rather than a pleasure to the other
they consented by a sort of silent compact that each should be at liberty to
follow his own inclination Mr Falkland was in a sense the greatest gainer by
this He returned to the habits of his choice and acted as nearly as possible
just as he would have done if Mr Forester had not been in existence But the
latter was wholly at a loss He had all the disadvantages of retirement without
being able as he might have done at his house to bring his own associates or
his own amusements about him
In this situation he cast his eyes upon me It was his principle to do every
thing that his thoughts suggested without caring for the forms of the world He
saw no reason why a peasant with certain advantages of education and
opportunity might not be as eligible a companion as a lord at the same time
that he was deeply impressed with the venerableness of old institutions Reduced
as he was to a kind of last resort he found me better qualified for his purpose
than any other of Mr Falklands houshold
The manner in which he began this sort of correspondence was sufficiently
characteristical It was abrupt but it was strongly stamped with essential
benevolence It was blunt and humorous but there was attractiveness especially
in a case of unequal intercourse in that very rusticity by which he levelled
himself with the mass of his species He had to reconcile himself as well as to
invite me not to reconcile himself to the postponing an aristocratical vanity
for of that he had a very slender portion but to the trouble of invitation for
he loved his ease All this produced some irregularity and indecision in his own
mind and gave a very whimsical impression to his behaviour
On my part I was by no means ungrateful for the distinction that was paid
me My mind had been relaxed into temporary dejection but my reserve had no
alloy of moroseness or insensibility It did not long hold out against the
condescending attentions of Mr Forester I became gradually heedful
encouraged confiding I had a most eager thirst for the knowledge of mankind
and though no person perhaps ever purchased so dearly the instructions he
received in that school the inclination was in no degree diminished Mr
Forester was the second man I had seen uncommonly worthy of my analysis and who
seemed to my thoughts arrived as I was at the end of my first essay almost as
much deserving to be studied as Mr Falkland himself I was glad to escape from
the uneasiness of my reflections and while engaged with this new friend I
forgot the criticalness of the evils with which I was hourly menaced
Stimulated by these feelings I was what Mr Forester wanted a diligent and
zealous hearer I was strongly susceptible of impression and the alternate
impressions my mind received visibly displayed themselves in my countenance and
gestures The observations Mr Forester had made in his travels the set of
opinions he had formed all amused and interested me His manner of telling a
story or explaining his thoughts was forcible perspicuous and original his
style in conversation had an uncommon zest Every thing he had to relate
delighted me while in return my sympathy my eager curiosity and my
unsophisticated passions rendered me to Mr Forester a most desirable hearer
It is not to be wondered at therefore that every day rendered our intercourse
more intimate and cordial
Mr Falkland was destined to be for ever unhappy and it seemed as if no new
incident could occur from which he was not able to extract food for this
imperious propensity He was wearied with a perpetual repetition of similar
impressions and entertained an invincible disgust against all that was new The
visit of Mr Forester he regarded with antipathy He was scarcely able to look
at him without shuddering an emotion which his guest perceived and pitied as
the result of habit and disease rather than of judgment None of his actions
passed unremarked the most indifferent excited uneasiness and apprehension The
first overtures of intimacy between me and Mr Forester probably gave birth to
sentiments of jealousy in the mind of my master The irregular variable
character of his visitor tended to heighten them by producing an appearance of
inexplicableness and mystery At this time he intimated to me that it was not
agreeable to him that there should be much intercourse between me and this
gentleman
What could I do Young as I was could it be expected that I should play the
philosopher and put a perpetual curb upon my inclinations Imprudent though I
had been could I voluntarily subject myself to an eternal penance and
estrangement from human society Could I discourage a frankness so perfectly in
consonance with my wishes and receive in an ungracious way a kindness that
stole away my heart
Besides this I was but ill prepared for the servile submission Mr Falkland
demanded In early life I had been accustomed to be much my own master When I
first entered into Mr Falklands service my personal habits were checked by
the novelty of my situation and my affections were gained by the high
accomplishments of my patron To novelty and its influence curiosity had
succeeded Curiosity so long as it lasted was a principle stronger in my bosom
than even the love of independence To that I would have sacrificed my liberty
or my life to gratify it I would have submitted to the condition of a West
Indian Negro or to the tortures inflicted by North American savages But the
turbulence of curiosity had now subsided
As long as the threats of Mr Falkland had been confined to generals I
endured it I was conscious of the unbecoming action I had committed and this
rendered me humble But when he went farther and undertook to prescribe to
every article of my conduct my patience was at an end My mind before
sufficiently sensible to the unfortunate situation to which my imprudence had
reduced me now took a nearer and a more alarming view of the circumstances of
the case Mr Falkland was not an old man he had in him the principles of
vigour however they might seem to be shaken he might live as long as I should
I was his prisoner and what a prisoner All my actions observed all my
gestures marked I could move neither to the right nor the left but the eye of
my keeper was upon me He watched me and his vigilance was a sickness to my
heart For me there was no more of freedom no more of hilarity of
thoughtlessness or of youth Was this the life upon which I had entered with
such warm and sanguine expectation Were my days to be wasted in this chearless
gloom a galleyslave in the hands of the system of nature whom death only the
death of myself or my inexorable superior could free
I had been adventurous in the gratification of an infantine and unreasonable
curiosity and I was resolved not to be less adventurous if need were in the
defence of every thing that can make life a blessing I was prepared for an
amicable adjustment of interests I would undertake that Mr Falkland should
never sustain injury through my means but I expected in return that I should
suffer no incroachment but be left to the direction of my own understanding
I went on then to seek Mr Foresters society with eagerness and it is the
nature of an intimacy that does not decline progressively to increase Mr
Falkland observed these symptoms with visible perturbation Whenever I was
conscious of their being perceived by him I betrayed tokens of confusion this
did not tend to allay his uneasiness One day he spoke to me alone and with a
look of mysterious but terrible import expressed himself thus
Young man take warning Perhaps this is the last time you shall have an
opportunity to take it I will not always be the butt of your simplicity and
inexperience nor suffer your weakness to triumph over my strength Why do you
trifle with me You little suspect the extent of my power At this moment you
are enclosed with the snares of my vengeance unseen by you and at the instant
that you flatter yourself you are already beyond their reach they will close
upon you You might as well think of escaping from the power of the omnipresent
God as from mine If you could touch so much as my finger you should expiate
it in hours and months and years of a torment of which as yet you have not the
remotest idea Remember I am not talking at random I do not utter a word
that if you provoke me shall not be executed to the severest letter
It may be supposed that these menaces were not without their effect I
withdrew in silence My whole soul revolted against the treatment I endured and
yet I could not utter a word Why could not I speak the expostulations of my
heart or propose the compromise I meditated It was inexperience and not want
of strength that awed me Every act of Mr Falkland contained something new
and I was unprepared to meet it Perhaps it will be found that the greatest hero
owes the propriety of his conduct to the habit of encountering difficulties and
calling out with promptness the energies of his mind
I contemplated the proceedings of my patron with the deepest astonishment
Humanity and general kindness were fundamental parts of his character but in
relation to me they were sterile and inactive His own interest required that he
should purchase my kindness but he preferred to govern me by terror and watch
me with unceasing anxiety I ruminated with the most mournful sensations upon
the nature of my calamity I believed that no human being was ever placed in a
situation so pitiable as mine Every atom of my frame seemed to have a several
existence and to crawl within me I had but too much reason to believe that Mr
Falklands were not empty words I knew his ability I felt his ascendancy If I
encountered him what chance had I of victory If I were defeated what was the
penalty I had to suffer Well then the rest of my life must be devoted to
slavish subjection Miserable sentence And if it were what security had I
against the injustice of a man vigilant capricious and criminal I envied the
condemned wretch upon the scaffold I envied the victim of the inquisition in
the midst of his torture They know what they have to suffer I had only to
imagine every thing terrible and then say The fate reserved for me is worse
than this
It was well for me that these sensations were transient human nature could
not long support itself under what I then felt By degrees my mind shook off its
burthen Indignation succeeded to emotions of terror The hostility of Mr
Falkland excited hostility in me I determined I would never calumniate him in
matters of the most trivial import much less betray the grand secret upon which
every thing dear to him depended But totally abjuring the offensive I
resolved to stand firmly upon the defensive The liberty of acting as I pleased
I would preserve whatever might be the risque If I were worsted in the
contest I would at least have the consolation of reflecting that I had exerted
myself with energy In proportion as I thus determined I drew off my forces
from petty incursions and felt the propriety of acting with premeditation and
system I ruminated incessantly upon plans of deliverance but I was anxious
that my choice should not be precipitately made
It was during this period of my deliberation and uncertainty that Mr
Forester terminated his visit He observed a strange distance in my behaviour
and in his goodnatured rough way reproached me for it I could only answer
with a gloomy look of mysterious import and a mournful and expressive silence
He sought me for an explanation but I was now as ingenious in avoiding as I
had before been ardent to seek him and he quitted our house as he afterwards
told me with an impression that there was some ill destiny that hung over it
which seemed fated to make all its inhabitants miserable without its being
possible for a bystander to penetrate the reason
Chapter VIII
Mr Forester had left us about three weeks when Mr Falkland sent me upon some
business to an estate he possessed in a neighbouring county about fifty miles
from his principal residence The road led in a direction wholly wide of the
habitation of our late visitor I was upon my return from the place to which I
had been sent when I began in fancy to take a survey of the various
circumstances of my condition and by degrees lost in the profoundness of my
contemplation all attention to the surrounding objects The first determination
of my mind was to escape from the lynxeyed jealousy and despotism of Mr
Falkland the second to provide by every effort of prudence and deliberation I
could devise against the danger with which I well knew my attempt must be
accompanied
Occupied with these meditations I rode many miles before I perceived that I
had totally deviated from the right path At length I roused myself and
surveyed the horizon round me but I could observe nothing with which my organ
was previously acquainted On three sides the heath stretched as far as the eye
could reach on the fourth I discovered at some distance a wood of no ordinary
dimension Before me scarcely a single track could be found to mark that any
human being had ever visited the spot As the best expedient I could devise I
bent my course towards the wood I have mentioned and then pursued as well as I
was able the windings of the inclosure This led me after some time to the end
of the heath but I was still as much at a loss as ever respecting the road I
should pursue The sun was hid from me by a grey and cloudy atmosphere I was
induced to continue along the skirts of the wood and surmounted with some
difficulty the hedges and other obstacles that from time to time presented
themselves My thoughts were gloomy and disconsolate the dreariness of the day
and the solitude which surrounded me seemed to communicate a sadness to my soul
I had proceeded a considerable way and was overcome with hunger and fatigue
when I discovered a road and a little inn at no great distance I made up to
them and upon enquiry found that instead of pursuing the proper direction I
had taken one that led to Mr Foresters rather than to my own habitation I
alighted and was entering the house when the appearance of that gentleman
struck my eyes
Mr Forester accosted me with kindness invited me into the room where he
had been sitting and enquired what accident had brought me to that place While
he was speaking I could not help recollecting the extraordinary manner in which
we were thus once more brought together and a train of ideas was by this means
suggested to my mind Some refreshment was by Mr Foresters order prepared for
me I sat down and partook of it Still this thought dwelt upon my
recollection Mr Falkland would never be made acquainted with our meeting I
had an opportunity thrown in my way which if I did not improve I should
deserve all the consequences that may result I can now converse with a friend
and a powerful friend without fear of being watched and overlooked What wonder
that I was tempted to disclose not Mr Falklands secret but my own situation
and receive the advice of a man of worth and experience which might perhaps be
adequately done without entering into any detail injurious to my patron
Mr Forester on his part expressed a desire to learn why it was I thought
myself unhappy and why I had avoided him during the latter part of his
residence under the same roof as evidently as I had before taken pleasure in
his communications I replied that I could give him but an imperfect
satisfaction upon these points but what I could I would willingly explain The
fact I proceeded was that there were certain reasons which rendered it
impossible for me to have a tranquil moment under the roof of Mr Falkland I
had revolved the matter again and again in my mind and was finally convinced
that I owed it to myself to withdraw from his service I added that I was
sensible by this half confidence I might rather seem to merit the disapprobation
of Mr Forester than his countenance but I declared my persuasion that if he
could be acquainted with the whole affair however strange my behaviour might at
present appear he would applaud my reserve
He appeared to muse for a moment upon what I had said and then asked what
reason I could have to complain of Mr Falkland I replied that I entertained
the deepest reverence for my patron I admired his abilities and considered him
as formed for the benefit of his species I should in my own opinion be the
vilest of miscreants if I uttered a whisper to his disadvantage But all this
did not avail I was not fit for him perhaps I was not good enough for him at
all events I must be perpetually miserable so long as I continued to live with
him
I observed Mr Forester gaze upon me eagerly with curiosity and surprise
but this circumstance I did not think proper to notice Having recovered
himself he enquired Why then that being the case I did not quit his service
I answered What he now touched upon was that which most of all contributed to
my misfortune Mr Falkland was not ignorant of my dislike to my present
situation perhaps he thought it unreasonable unjust but I knew that he would
never be brought to consent to my giving way to it
Here Mr Forester interrupted me and smiling said I magnified obstacles
and overrated my own importance adding that he would undertake to remove that
difficulty as well as to provide me with a more agreeable appointment This
suggestion produced in me a serious alarm I replied that I must intreat him
upon no account to think of applying to Mr Falkland upon the subject I added
that perhaps I was only betraying my own imbecility but in reality
unacquainted as I was with experience and the world I was afraid though
disgusted with my present residence to expose myself upon a mere project of my
own to the resentment of so considerable a man as Mr Falkland If he would
favour me with his advice upon the subject or if he would only give me leave to
hope for his protection in case of any unforeseen accident this was all I
presumed to request and thus encouraged I would venture to obey the dictates
of my inclination and fly in pursuit of my lost tranquillity
Having thus opened myself to this generous friend as far as I could do it
with propriety and safety he sat for some time silent with an air of deep
reflection At length with a countenance of unusual severity and a
characteristic fierceness of manner and voice he thus addressed me Young man
perhaps you are ignorant of the nature of the conduct you at present hold May
be you do not know that where there is mystery there is always something at
bottom that will not bear the telling Is this the way to obtain the favour of a
man of consequence and respectability To pretend to make a confidence and then
tell him a disjointed story that has not common sense in it
I answered that whatever were the amount of that prejudice I must submit
I placed my hope of a candid construction in the present instance in the
rectitude of his nature
He went on You do so do you I tell you sir the rectitude of my nature
is an enemy to disguise Come boy you must know that I understand these things
better than you Tell all or expect nothing from me but censure and contempt
Sir replied I I have spoken from deliberation I have told you my choice
and whatever be the result I must abide by it If in this misfortune you refuse
me your assistance here I must end having gained by the communication only
your ill opinion and displeasure
He looked hard at me as if he would see me through At length he relaxed
his features and softened his manner You are a foolish headstrong boy said
he and I shall have an eye upon you I shall never place in you the confidence
I have done But I will not desert you At present the balance between
approbation and dislike is in your favour How long it will last I cannot tell
I engage for nothing But it is my rule to act as I feel I will for this time
do as you require and pray God it may answer I will receive you either now
or hereafter under my roof trusting that I shall not have reason to repent and
that appearances will terminate as favourably as I wish though I scarcely know
how to hope it
We were engaged in the earnest discussion of subjects thus interesting to my
peace when we were interrupted by an event the most earnestly to have been
deprecated Without the smallest notice and as if he had dropped upon us from
the clouds Mr Falkland burst into the room I found afterwards that Mr
Forester had come thus far upon an appointment to meet Mr Falkland and that
the place of their intended rendezvous was the next stage Mr Forester was
detained at the inn where we now were by our accidental rencounter and in
reality had for the moment forgotten his appointment while Mr Falkland not
finding him where he expected proceeded thus far towards the house of his
kinsman To me the meeting was the most unaccountable in the world
I instantly foresaw the dreadful complication of misfortune that was
included in this event To Mr Falkland the meeting between me and his relation
must appear not accidental but on my part at least the result of design I was
totally out of the road I had been travelling by his direction I was in a road
that led directly to the house of Mr Forester What must he think of this How
must he suppose I came to that place The truth if told that I came there
without design and purely in consequence of having lost my way must appear to
be the most palpable lie that ever was devised
Here then I stood detected in the fact of that intercourse which had been so
severely forbidden But in this instance it was infinitely worse than in those
which had already given so much disturbance to Mr Falkland It was then frank
and unconcealed and therefore the presumption was that it was for purposes that
required no concealment But the present interview if concerted was in the
most emphatical degree clandestine Nor was it less perilous than it was
clandestine It had been forbidden with the most dreadful menaces and Mr
Falkland was not ignorant how deep an impression those menaces had made upon my
imagination Such a meeting therefore could not have been concerted under such
circumstances for a trivial purpose or for any purpose that his heart did not
ache to think of Such was the amount of my crime such was the agony my
appearance was calculated to inspire and it was reasonable to suppose that the
penalty I had to expect would be proportionable The threats of Mr Falkland
still sounded in my ears and I was in a transport of terror
The conduct of the same man in different circumstances is often so various
as to render it very difficult to be accounted for Mr Falkland in this to him
terrible crisis did not seem to be in any degree hurried away by passion For a
moment he was dumb his eyes glared with astonishment and the next moment as it
were he had the most perfect calmness and selfcommand Had it been otherwise I
have no doubt that I should instantly have entered into an explanation of the
manner in which I came there the ingenuousness and consistency of which could
not but have been in some degree attended with a favourable event But as it
was I suffered myself to be overcome I yielded as in a former instance to the
discomfiting influence of surprise I dared scarcely breathe I observed the
appearances with anxiety and surprise Mr Falkland quietly ordered me to return
home and take along with me the groom he had brought with him I obeyed in
silence
I afterwards understood that he enquired minutely of Mr Forester the
circumstances of our meeting and that that gentleman perceiving that the
meeting itself was discovered and guided by habits of frankness which when
once rooted in a character it is difficult to counteract told Mr Falkland
every thing that had passed together with the remarks it had suggested to his
own mind Mr Falkland received the communication with an ambiguous and studied
silence which by no means operated to my advantage in the already poisoned mind
of Mr Forester His silence was partly the direct consequence of a mind
watchful inquisitive and doubting and partly perhaps was adopted for the sake
of the effect it was calculated to produce Mr Falkland not being unwilling to
encourage prejudices against a character which might one day come in competition
with his own
As to me I went home indeed for this was not a moment to resist Mr
Falkland with a premeditation to which he had given the appearance of accident
had taken care to send with me a guard to attend upon his prisoner I seemed as
if conducting to one of those fortresses famed in the history of despotism
from which the wretched victim is never known to come forth alive and when I
entered my chamber I felt as if I were entering a dungeon I reflected that I
was at the mercy of a man exasperated at my disobedience and who was already
formed to cruelty by successive murders My prospects were now closed I was cut
off for ever from pursuits that I had meditated with ineffable delight my death
might be the event of a few hours I was a victim at the shrine of conscious
guilt that knew neither rest nor satiety I should be blotted from the catalogue
of the living and my fate remain eternally a secret the man who added my
murder to his former crimes would show himself the next morning and be hailed
with the admiration and applause of his species
In the midst of these terrible imaginations one idea presented itself that
alleviated my feelings This was the recollection of the strange and
unaccountable tranquillity which Mr Falkland had manifested when he discovered
me in company with Mr Forester I was not deceived by this I knew that the
calm was temporary and would be succeeded by a tumult and whirlwind of the most
dreadful sort But a man under the power of such terrors as now occupied me
catches at every reed I said to myself This tranquillity is a period it is
incumbent upon me to improve the shorter its duration may be found the more
speedy am I obliged to be in the use of it In a word I took the resolution
because I already stood in fear of the vengeance of Mr Falkland to risque the
possibility of provoking it in a degree still more inexpiable and terminate at
once my present state of uncertainty I had now opened my case to Mr Forester
and he had given me positive assurances of his protection I determined
immediately to address the following letter to Mr Falkland The consideration
that if he meditated any thing tragical such a letter would only tend to
confirm him did not enter into the present feelings of my mind
Sir
I have conceived the intention of quitting your service This is a
measure we ought both of us to desire I shall then be what it is my
duty to be master of my own actions You will be delivered from the
presence of a person whom you cannot prevail upon yourself to behold
without unpleasing emotions
Why should you subject me to an eternal penance Why should you
consign my youthful hopes to suffering and despair Consult the
principles of humanity that have marked the general course of your
proceedings and do not let me I intreat you be made the subject of a
useless severity My heart is impressed with gratitude for your favours
I sincerely ask your forgiveness for the many errors of my conduct I
consider the treatment I have received under your roof as one almost
uninterrupted scene of kindness and generosity I shall never forget my
obligations to you and will never betray them
I remain Sir
your most grateful respectful
and dutiful servant
Caleb Williams
Such was my employment of the evening of a day which will be ever memorable in
the history of my life Mr Falkland not being yet returned though expected
every hour I was induced to make use of the pretext of fatigue to avoid an
interview I went to bed It may be imagined that my slumbers were neither deep
nor refreshing The next morning I was informed that my patron did not come
home till late that he had enquired for me and being told that I was in bed
had said nothing farther upon the subject Satisfied in this respect I went to
the breakfasting parlour and though full of anxiety and trepidation
endeavoured to busy myself in arranging the books and a few other little
occupations till Mr Falkland should come down After a short time I heard his
step which I perfectly well knew how to distinguish in the passage Presently
he stopped and speaking to some one in a sort of deliberate but smothered
voice I overheard him repeat my name as enquiring for me In conformity to the
plan I had persuaded myself to adopt I now laid the letter I had written upon
the table at which he usually sat and made my exit at one door as Mr Falkland
entered at the other This done I withdrew with flutterings and palpitation
to a private apartment a sort of lightcloset at the end of the library where
I was accustomed not unfrequently to sit
I had not been here three minutes when I heard the voice of Mr Falkland
calling me I went to him in the library His manner was that of a man labouring
with some dreadful thought and endeavouring to give an air of carelessness and
insensibility to his behaviour Perhaps no carriage of any other sort could have
produced a sensation of such inexplicable horror or have excited in the person
who was its object such anxious uncertainty about the event That is your
letter said he throwing it
My lad continued he I believe now you have played all your tricks and the
farce is nearly at an end With your apishness and absurdity however you have
taught me one thing and whereas before now I have winced at them with torture
I am now as tough as an elephant I shall crush you in the end with the same
indifference that I would any other little insect that disturbed my serenity
I am unable to tell what brought about your meeting with Mr Forester
yesterday It might be design it might be accident But I shall not forget it
You write me here that you are desirous to quit my service To that I have a
short answer You never shall quit it with life If you attempt it you shall
never cease to rue your folly as long as you exist That is my will and I will
not have it resisted The very next time you disobey me in that or any other
article there is an end of your vagaries for ever Perhaps your situation may
be a pitiable one it is for you to look to that I only know that it is in your
power to prevent its growing worse no time nor chance shall ever make it
better
Do not imagine I am afraid of you I wear an armour against which all your
weapons are impotent I have dug a pit for you and whichever way you move
backward or forward to the right or to the left it is ready to swallow you Be
still If once you fall call as loud as you will no man on earth shall hear
your cries prepare a tale however plausible or however true the whole world
shall execrate you for an impostor Your innocence shall be of no service to
you I laugh at so feeble a defence It is I that say it you may believe what I
tell you Do you not know miserable wretch added he suddenly altering his
tone and stamping upon the ground with fury that I have sworn to preserve my
reputation whatever be the expence that I love it more than the whole world and
its inhabitants taken together And do you think that you shall wound it
Begone miscreant reptile and cease to contend with unsurmountable power
The part of my history which I am now relating is that which I reflect upon
with the least complacency Why was it that I was once more totally overcome by
the imperious carriage of Mr Falkland and unable to utter a word The reader
will be presented with many occasions in the sequel in which I wanted neither
facility in the invention of expedients nor fortitude in entering upon my
justification Persecution at length gave firmness to my character and taught
me the better part of manhood But in the present instance I was irresolute
overawed and abashed
The speech I had heard was the dictate of frenzy and it created in me a
similar frenzy It determined me to do the very thing against which I was thus
solemnly warned and fly from my patrons house I could not enter into parley
with him I could no longer endure the vile subjugation he imposed on me It was
in vain that my reason warned me of the rashness of a measure to be taken
without concert or preparation I seemed to be in a state in which reason had no
power I felt as if I could coolly survey the several arguments of the case
perceive that they had prudence truth and common sense on their side and then
answer I am under the guidance of a director more energetic than you
I was not long in executing what I had thus rapidly determined I fixed on
the evening of that very day as the period of my evasion Even in this short
interval I had perhaps sufficient time for deliberation But all opportunity was
useless to me my mind was fixed and each succeeding moment only increased the
unspeakable eagerness with which I meditated my escape The hours usually
observed by our family in this country residence were regular and one in the
morning was the time I selected for my undertaking
In searching the apartment where I slept I had formerly discovered a
concealed door which led to a small apartment of the most secret nature not
uncommon in houses so old as that of Mr Falkland and which had perhaps served
as a refuge from persecution or a security from the inveterate hostilities of a
barbarous age I believed no person was acquainted with this hiding place but
myself I felt unaccountably impelled to remove into it the different articles
of my personal property I could not at present take them away with me If I
were never to recover them I felt that it would be a gratification to my
sentiment that no trace of my existence should be found after my departure
Having completed their removal and waited till the hour I had previously
chosen I stole down quietly from my chamber with a lamp in my hand I went
along a passage that led to a small door opening into the garden and then
crossed the garden to a gate that intersected an elm walk and a private
horsepath on the outside
I could scarcely believe my good fortune in having thus far executed my
design without interruption The terrible images Mr Falklands menaces had
suggested to my mind made me expect impediment and detection at every step
though the impassioned state of my mind impelled me to advance with desperate
resolution He probably however counted too securely upon the ascendancy of his
sentiments when imperiously pronounced to think it necessary to take
precautions against a sinister event For myself I drew a favourable omen as to
the final result of my project from the smoothness of success that attended it
in the outset
Chapter IX
The first plan that had suggested itself to me was to go to the nearest public
road and take the earliest stage for London There I believed I should be most
safe from discovery if the vengeance of Mr Falkland should prompt him to
pursue me and I did not doubt among the multiplied resources of the metropolis
to find something which should suggest to me an eligible mode of disposing of my
person and industry I reserved Mr Forester in my arrangement as a last
resource not to be called forth unless for immediate protection from the hand
of persecution and power I was destitute of that experience of the world which
can alone render us fertile in resources or even enable us to institute a just
comparison between the resources that offer themselves I was like the
fascinated animal that is seized with the most terrible apprehensions at the
same time that he is incapable of adequately considering for his own safety
The mode of my proceeding being digested I traced with a chearful heart the
unfrequented path it was now necessary for me to pursue The night was gloomy
and it drizzled with rain But these were circumstances I had scarcely the power
to perceive all was sunshine and joy within me I hardly felt the ground I
repeated to myself a thousand times I am free What concern have I with danger
and alarm I feel that I am free I feel that I will continue so What power is
able to hold in chains a mind ardent and determined What power can cause that
man to die whose whole soul commands him to continue to live I looked back
with abhorrence to the subjection in which I had been held I did not hate the
author of my misfortunes truth and justice acquit me of that I rather pitied
the hard destiny to which he seemed condemned But I thought with unspeakable
loathing of those errors in consequence of which every man is fated to be more
or less the tyrant or the slave I was astonished at the folly of my species
that they did not rise up as one man and shake off chains so ignominious and
misery so insupportable So far as related to myself I resolved and this
resolution has never been entirely forgotten by me to hold myself disengaged
from this odious scene and never fill the part either of the oppressor or the
sufferer
My mind continued in this enthusiastical state full of confidence and
accessible only to such a portion of fear as served rather to keep up a state of
pleasurable emotion than to generate anguish and distress during the whole of
this nocturnal expedition After a walk of three hours I arrived without
accident at the village from which I hoped to have taken my passage for the
metropolis At this early hour every thing was quiet no sound of any thing
human saluted my ear It was with difficulty that I gained admittance into the
yard of the inn where I found a single ostler taking care of some horses From
him I received the unwelcome tidings that the coach was not expected till six
oclock in the morning of the day after tomorrow its route through that town
recurring only three times a week
This intelligence gave the first check to the rapturous inebriation by which
my mind had been possessed from the moment I quitted the habitation of Mr
Falkland The whole of my fortune in ready cash consisted of about eleven
guineas I had about fifty more that had fallen to me from the disposal of my
property at the death of my father but that was so vested as to preclude it
from immediate use and I even doubted whether it would not be found better
ultimately to resign it than by claiming it to risk the furnishing a clue to
what I most of all dreaded the persecution of Mr Falkland There was nothing I
so ardently desired as the annihilation of all future intercourse between us
that he should not know there was such a person on the earth as myself and that
I should never more hear a name which had been so fatal to my peace
Thus circumstanced I conceived frugality to be an object by no means
unworthy of my attention unable as I was to prognosticate what discouragements
and delays might present themselves to the accomplishment of my wishes after my
arrival in London For this and other reasons I determined to adhere to my
design of travelling by the stage it only remaining for me to consider in what
manner I should prevent the eventual delay of twentyfour hours from becoming by
any untoward event a source of new calamity It was by no means advisable to
remain at the village where I now was during this interval nor did I even
think it proper to employ it in proceeding on foot along the great road I
therefore decided upon making a circuit the direction of which should seem at
first extremely wide of my intended route and then suddenly taking a different
inclination should enable me to arrive by the close of day at a markettown
twelve miles nearer to the metropolis
Having fixed the economy of the day and persuaded myself that it was the
best which under the circumstances could be adopted I dismissed for the most
part all farther anxieties from my mind and eagerly yielded myself up to the
different amusements that arose I rested and went forward at the impulse of the
moment At one time I reclined upon a bank immersed in contemplation and at
another exerted myself to analyse the prospects which succeeded each other The
haziness of the morning was followed by a spiritstirring and beautiful day
With the ductility so characteristic of a youthful mind I forgot the anguish
which had lately been my continual guest and occupied myself entirely in dreams
of future novelty and felicity I scarcely ever in the whole course of my
existence spent a day of more various or exquisite gratification It furnished a
strong and perhaps not an unsalutary contrast to the terrors which had preceded
and the dreadful scenes that awaited me
In the evening I arrived at the place of my destination and enquired for
the inn at which the coach was accustomed to call A circumstance however had
previously excited my attention and reproduced in me a state of alarm
Though it was already dark before I reached the town my observation had
been attracted by a man who passed me on horseback in the opposite direction
about half a mile on the other side of the town There was an inquisitiveness in
his gesture that I did not like and as far as I could discern his figure I
pronounced him an illlooking man He had not passed me more than two minutes
before I heard the sound of a horse advancing slowly behind me These
circumstances impressed some degree of uneasy sensation upon my mind I first
mended my pace and this not appearing to answer the purpose I afterwards
loitered that the horseman might pass me He did so and as I glanced him I
thought I saw that it was the same man He now put his horse into a trot and
entered the town I followed and it was not long before I perceived him at the
door of an alehouse drinking a mug of beer This however the darkness
prevented me from discovering till I was in a manner upon him I pushed
forward and saw him no more till as I entered the yard of the inn where I
intended to sleep the same man suddenly rode up to me and asked if my name
were Williams
This adventure while it had been passing expelled the gaiety of my mind
and filled me with anxiety The apprehension however that I felt appeared to me
groundless if I were pursued I took it for granted it would be by some of Mr
Falklands people and not by a stranger The darkness took from me some of the
simplest expedients of precaution I determined at least to proceed to the inn
and make the necessary enquiries
I no sooner heard the sound of the horse as I entered the yard and the
question proposed to me by the rider than the dreadful certainty of what I
feared instantly took possession of my mind Every incident connected with my
late abhorred situation was calculated to impress me with the deepest alarm My
first thought was to betake myself to the fields and trust to the swiftness of
my flight for safety But this was scarcely practicable I remarked that my
enemy was alone and I believed that man to man I might reasonably hope to get
the better of him either by the firmness of my determination or the subtlety
of my invention
Thus determined I replied in an impetuous and peremptory tone that I was
the man he took me for adding I guess your errand but it is to no purpose
You come to conduct me back to Falkland House but no force shall ever drag me
to that place alive I have not taken my resolution without strong reasons and
all the world shall not persuade me to alter it I am an Englishman and it is
the privilege of an Englishman to be sole judge and master of his own actions
You are in the devil of a hurry replied the man to guess my intentions
and tell your own But your guess is right and mayhap you may have reason to be
thankful that my errand is not something worse Sure enough the squire expects
you but I have a letter and when you have read that I suppose you will come
off a little of your stoutness If that does not answer it will then be time to
think what is to be done next
Thus saying he gave me his letter which was from Mr Forester whom as he
told me he had left at Mr Falklands house It was as follows
Williams
My brother Falkland has sent the bearer in pursuit of you He
expects that if found you will return with him I expect it too It is
of the utmost consequence to your future honour and character After
reading these lines if you are a villain and a rascal you will perhaps
endeavour to fly If your conscience tells you You are innocent you
will out of all doubt come back Show me then whether I have been your
dupe and while I was won over by your seeming ingenuousness have
suffered myself to be made the tool of a designing knave If you come I
pledge myself that if you clear your reputation you shall not only be
free to go wherever you please but shall receive every assistance in my
power to give Remember I engage for nothing farther than that
Valentine Forester
What a letter was this To a mind like mine glowing with the love of virtue
such an address was strong enough to draw the person to whom it was addressed
from one end of the earth to the other My mind was full of confidence and
energy I felt my own innocence and was determined to assert it I was willing
to be driven out a fugitive I even rejoiced in my escape and chearfully went
out into the world destitute of every provision and depending for my future
prospects upon my own ingenuity
Thus much said I Falkland you may do Dispose of me as you please with
respect to the goods of fortune but you shall neither make prize of my liberty
nor sully the whiteness of my name I repassed in my thoughts every memorable
incident that had happened to me under his roof I could recollect nothing
except the affair of the mysterious trunk out of which the shadow of a criminal
accusation could be extorted In that instance my conduct had been highly
reprehensible and I had never looked back upon it without remorse and
selfcondemnation But I did not believe that it was of the nature of those
actions which can be brought under legal censure I could still less persuade
myself that Mr Falkland who shuddered at the very possibility of detection
and who considered himself as completely in my power would dare to bring
forward a subject so closely connected with the internal agony in his soul In a
word the more I reflected on the phrases of Mr Foresters billet the less
could I imagine the nature of those scenes to which they were to serve as a
prelude
The inscrutableness however of the mystery they contained did not suffice
to overwhelm my courage My mind seemed to undergo an entire revolution Timid
and embarrassed as I had felt myself when I regarded Mr Falkland as my
clandestine and domestic foe I now conceived that the case was entirely
altered Meet me said I as an open accuser if we must contend let us contend
in the face of day and then unparalleled as your resources may be I will not
fear you Innocence and guilt were in my apprehension the things in the whole
world the most opposite to each other I would not suffer myself to believe
that the former could be confounded with the latter unless the innocent man
first allowed himself to be subdued in mind before he was defrauded of the good
opinion of mankind Virtue rising superior to every calumny defeating by a
plain unvarnished tale all the stratagems of vice and throwing back upon her
adversary the confusion with which he had hoped to overwhelm her was one of the
favourite subjects of my youthful reveries I determined never to prove an
instrument of destruction to Mr Falkland but I was not less resolute to obtain
justice to myself
The issue of all these confident hopes I shall immediately have occasion to
relate It was thus with the most generous and undoubting spirit that I rushed
upon irretrievable ruin
Friend said I to the bearer after a considerable interval in silence You
are right This is indeed an extraordinary letter you have brought me but it
answers its purpose I will certainly go with you now whatever be the
consequence No person shall ever impute blame to me so long as I have it in my
power to clear myself I felt in the circumstances in which I was placed by Mr
Foresters letter not merely a willingness but an alacrity and impatience to
return We procured a second horse We proceeded on our journey in silence My
mind was occupied again in endeavouring to account for Mr Foresters letter I
knew the inflexibility and sternness of Mr Falklands mind in accomplishing the
purposes he had at heart but I also knew that every virtuous and magnanimous
principle was congenial to his character
When we arrived midnight was already past and we were obliged to waken one
of the servants to give us admittance I found that Mr Forester had left a
message for me in consideration of the possibility of my arrival during the
night directing me immediately to go to bed and to take care that I did not
come weary and exhausted to the business of the following day I endeavoured to
take his advice but my slumbers were unrefreshing and disturbed I suffered
however no reduction of courage the singularity of my situation my conjectures
with respect to the present my eagerness for the future did not allow me to
sink into a languid and inactive state
Next morning the first person I saw was Mr Forester He told me that he did
not yet know what Mr Falkland had to allege against me for that he had refused
to know He had arrived at the house of his brother by appointment on the
preceding day to settle some indispensible business his intention having been
to depart the moment the business was finished as he knew that conduct on his
part would be most agreeable to Mr Falkland But he was no sooner come than he
found the whole house in confusion the alarm of my elopement having been given
a few hours before Mr Falkland had dispatched servants in all directions in
pursuit of me and the servant from the market town arrived at the same moment
with Mr Forester with intelligence that a person answering to the description
he gave had been there very early in the morning enquiring respecting the stage
to London
Mr Falkland seemed extremely disturbed at this information and exclaimed
upon me with great acrimony as an unthankful and unnatural villain
Mr Forester replied Have more command of yourself sir Villain is a very
serious appellation and must not be trifled with Englishmen are free and no
man is to be charged with villainy because he changes one source of subsistence
for another
Mr Falkland shook his head and with a smile expressive of acute
sensibility said Brother brother you are the dupe of his art I always
considered him with an eye of suspicion and was aware of his depravity But I
have just discovered
Stop sir interrupted Mr Forester I own I thought that in a moment of
acrimony you might be employing harsh epithets in a sort of random style But
if you have a serious accusation to state we must not be told of that till it
is known whether the lad is within reach of a hearing I am indifferent myself
about the good opinion of others It is what the world bestows and retracts with
so little thought that I can make no account of its decisions But that does
not authorise me lightly to entertain an ill opinion of another The slenderest
allowance I think I can make to such as I consign to be the example and terror
of their species is that of being heard in their own defence It is a wise
principle that requires the judge to come into court uninformed of the merits
of the cause he is to try and to that principle I am determined to conform as
an individual I shall always think it right to be severe and inflexible in my
treatment of offenders but the severity I exercise in the sequel must be
accompanied with impartiality and caution in what is preliminary
While Mr Forester related to me these particulars he observed me ready to
break out into some of the expressions which the narrative suggested but he
would not suffer me to speak No said he I would not hear Mr Falkland against
you and I cannot hear you in your defence I come to you at present to speak
and not to hear I thought it right to warn you of your danger but I have
nothing more to do now Reserve what you have to say to the proper time Make
the best story you can for yourself true if truth as I hope will serve your
purpose but if not the most plausible and ingenious you can invent That is
what selfdefence requires from every man where as it always happens to a man
upon his trial he has the whole world against him and has his own battle to
fight against the world Farewel and God send you a good deliverance If Mr
Falklands accusation whatever it be shall appear premature depend upon
having me more zealously your friend than ever If not this is the last act of
friendship you will ever receive from me
It may be believed that this address so singular so solemn so big with
conditional menace did not greatly tend to encourage me I was totally ignorant
of the charge to be advanced against me and not a little astonished when it
was in my power to be in the most formidable degree the accuser of Mr Falkland
to find the principles of equity so completely reversed as for the innocent
but instructed individual to be the party accused and suffering instead of
having as was natural the real criminal at his mercy I was still more
astonished at the superhuman power Mr Falkland seemed to possess of bringing
back the object of his persecution within the sphere of his authority a
reflection attended with some check to that eagerness and boldness of spirit
which now constituted the ruling passion of my mind
But this was no time for meditation To the sufferer the course of events is
taken out of his direction and he is hurried along with an irresistible force
without finding it within the compass of his efforts to check their rapidity I
was allowed only a short time to recollect myself when my trial commenced I was
conducted to the library where I had passed so many happy and so many
contemplative hours and found there Mr Forester and three or four of the
servants already assembled in expectation of me and my accuser Every thing was
calculated to suggest to me that I must trust only in the justice of the parties
concerned and had nothing to hope from their indulgence Mr Falkland entered
at one door almost as soon as I entered at the other
Chapter X
He began It has been the principle of my life never to inflict a wilful injury
upon any thing that lives I need not express my regret when I find myself
obliged to be the promulgator of a criminal charge How gladly would I pass
unnoticed the evil I have sustained but I owe it to society to detect an
offender and prevent other men from being imposed upon as I have been by an
appearance of integrity
It would be better interrupted Mr Forester to speak directly to the
point We ought not though unwarily by apologising for ourselves to create at
such a time a prejudice against an individual against whom a criminal
accusation will always be prejudice enough
I strongly suspect continued Mr Falkland this young man who has been
peculiarly the object of my kindness of having robbed me to a considerable
amount
What replied Mr Forester are the grounds of your suspicion
The first of them is the actual loss I have sustained in notes jewels and
plate I have missed bank notes to the amount of nine hundred pounds three gold
repeaters of considerable value a complete set of diamonds the property of my
late mother and several other articles
And why continued my arbitrator astonishment grief and a desire to
retain his selfpossession strongly contending in his countenance and voice do
you fix on this young man as the instrument of the depredation
I found him on my coming home upon the day when every thing was in disorder
from the alarm of fire in the very act of quitting the private apartment where
these things were deposited He was confounded at seeing me and hastened to
withdraw as soon as he possibly could
Did you say nothing to him take no notice of the confusion your sudden
appearance produced
I asked what was his errand in that place He was at first so terrified and
overcome that he could not answer me Afterwards with a good deal of faltering
he said that when all the servants were engaged in endeavouring to save the
most valuable part of my property he had come hither with the same view but
that he had as yet removed nothing
Did you immediately examine to see that every thing was safe
No I was accustomed to confide in his honesty and I was suddenly called
away in the present instance to attend to the increasing progress of the flames
I therefore only took out the key from the door of the apartment having first
locked it and putting it in my pocket hastened to go where my presence seemed
indispensibly necessary
How long was it before you missed your property
The same evening The hurry of the scene had driven the circumstance
entirely out of my mind till going by accident near the apartment the whole
affair together with the singular and equivocal behaviour of Williams rushed
at once upon my recollection I immediately entered examined the trunk in which
these things were contained and to my astonishment found the locks broken and
the property gone
What steps did you take upon this discovery
I sent for Williams and talked to him very seriously upon the subject But
he had now perfectly recovered his self command and calmly and stoutly denied
all knowledge of the matter I urged him with the enormousness of the offence
but I made no impression He did not discover either the surprise and
indignation one would have expected from a person entirely innocent or the
uneasiness that generally attends upon guilt He was rather silent and reserved
I then informed him that I should proceed in a manner different from what he
might perhaps expect I would not as is too frequent in such cases make a
general search for I had rather lose my property for ever without redress than
expose a multitude of innocent persons to anxiety and injustice My suspicion
for the present unavoidably fixed upon him But in a matter of so great
consequence I was determined not to act upon suspicion I would neither incur
the possibility of ruining him being innocent nor be the instrument of exposing
others to his depredations if guilty I should therefore merely insist upon his
continuing in my service He might depend upon it he should be well watched and
I trusted the whole truth would eventually appear Since he avoided confession
now I advised him to consider how far it was likely he would come off with
impunity at last This I was determined on that the moment he attempted an
escape I would consider that as an indication of guilt and proceed accordingly
What circumstances have occurred from that time to the present
None upon which I can infer a certainty of guilt Several that agree to
favour a suspicion From that time Williams was perpetually uneasy in his
situation always desirous as it now appears to escape but afraid to adopt
such a measure without certain precautions It was not long after that you Mr
Forester became my visitor I observed with dissatisfaction the growing
intercourse between you reflecting on the equivocalness of his character and
the attempt he would probably make to render you the dupe of his hypocrisy I
accordingly threatened him severely and I believe you observed the change that
presently after took place in his behaviour with relation to you
I did and it appeared at that time mysterious and extraordinary
Some time after as you well know a rencounter took place between you
whether accidental or intentional on his part I am not able to say when he
confessed to you the uneasiness of his mind without discovering the cause and
openly proposed to you to assist him in his flight and stand in case of
necessity between him and my resentment You offered it seems to take him into
your service but nothing as he acknowledged would answer his purpose that
did not place his retreat wholly out of my power to discover
Did it not appear extraordinary to you that he should hope for any effectual
protection from me while it remained perpetually in your power to satisfy me of
his unworthiness
Perhaps he had hopes that I should not proceed to that step at least so
long as the place of his retreat should be unknown to me and of consequence the
event of my proceeding dubious Perhaps he confided in his own powers which are
far from contemptible to construct a plausible tale especially as he had taken
care to have the first impression in his favour After all this protection on
your part was merely reserved in case all other expedients failed He does not
appear to have had any other sentiment upon the subject than that if he were
defeated in his projects for placing himself beyond the reach of justice it was
better to have bespoken a place in your patronage than to be destitute of every
resource
Mr Falkland having thus finished his evidence called upon Robert the
valet to confirm that part of it which related to the day of the fire
Robert stated that he happened to be coming through the library that day a
few minutes after Mr Falklands being brought home by the sight of the fire
that he had found me standing there with every mark of perturbation and fright
that he was so struck with my appearance that he could not help stopping to
notice it that he had spoken to me two or three times before he could obtain an
answer and that all he could get from me at last was that I was the most
miserable creature alive
He farther said that in the evening of the same day Mr Falkland called him
into the private apartment adjoining to the library and bid him bring a hammer
and some nails He then showed him a trunk standing in the apartment with its
locks and fastenings broken and ordered him to observe and remember what he
saw but not to mention it to any one Robert did not at that time know what Mr
Falkland intended by these directions which were given in a manner uncommonly
solemn and significant but he entertained no doubt that the fastenings were
broken and wrenched by the application of a chissel or such like instrument with
the intention of forcibly opening the trunk
Mr Forester observed upon this evidence that as much of it as related to
the day of the fire seemed indeed to afford powerful reasons for suspicion and
that the circumstances that had occurred since strangely concurred to fortify
that suspicion Meantime that nothing proper to be done might be omitted he
asked whether in my flight I had removed my property and proposed searching my
boxes to see whether by that means any trace could be discovered to confirm
the imputation Mr Falkland treated this suggestion slightly saying that if I
were the thief I had no doubt taken the precaution to obviate so palpable a
means of detection To this Mr Forester only replied that conjecture however
skilfully formed was not always realised in the actions and behaviour of
mankind and ordered that my boxes and trunks if found should be brought into
the library I listened to this suggestion with pleasure and uneasy and
confounded as I was at the appearances combined against me I trusted in this
appeal to give a new face to my cause I was eager to declare the place where my
property was deposited and the servants guided by my direction presently
produced what was enquired for
The two boxes that were first opened contained nothing to confirm the
accusation against me in the third were found a watch and several jewels that
were immediately known to be the property of Mr Falkland The production of
this seemingly decisive evidence excited emotions of astonishment and concern
but no persons astonishment appeared to be greater than that of Mr Falkland
That I should have left the stolen goods behind me would of itself have
appeared incredible but when it was considered what a secure place of
concealment I had found for them the wonder diminished and Mr Forester
observed that it was by no means impossible I might conceive it easier to
obtain possession of them afterwards than to remove them at the period of my
precipitate flight
Here however I thought it necessary to interfere I fervently urged my
right to a fair and impartial construction I asked Mr Forester whether it
were probable if I had stolen these things that I should not have contrived
at least to remove them along with me And again whether if I had been
conscious they would be found among my property I should myself have indicated
the place where I had concealed it
The insinuation I conveyed against Mr Foresters impartiality overspread
his whole countenance for an instant with the flush of anger
Impartiality young man yes be sure from me you shall experience an
impartial treatment God send that may answer your purpose Presently you shall
be heard at full in your own defence
You expect us to believe you innocent because you did not remove these
things along with you The money is removed Where sir is that We cannot
answer for the inconsistencies and oversights of any human mind and least of
all if that mind should appear to be disturbed with the consciousness of guilt
You observe that it was by your own direction these boxes and trunks have
been found That is indeed extraordinary It appears little less than
infatuation But to what purpose appeal to probabilities and conjecture in the
face of incontestible facts There sir are the boxes You alone knew where
they were to be found You alone had the keys Tell us then how this watch and
these jewels came to be contained in them
I was silent
To the rest of the persons present I seemed to be merely the subject of
detection but in reality I was of all the spectators that individual who was
most at a loss to conceive through every stage of the scene what would come
next and who listened to every word that was uttered with the most
uncontrolable amazement Amazement however alternately yielded to indignation
and horror At first I could not refrain from repeatedly attempting to
interrupt but I was checked in these attempts by Mr Forester and I presently
felt how necessary it was to my future peace that I should collect the whole
energy of my mind to repel the charge and assert my innocence
Every thing being now produced that could be produced against me Mr
Forester turned to me with a look of concern and pity and told me that now was
the time if I chose to allege any thing in my defence In reply to this
invitation I spoke nearly as follows
I am innocent It is in vain that circumstances are accumulated against me
there is not a person upon earth less capable than I of the things of which I am
accused I appeal to my heart I appeal to my looks I appeal to every sentiment
my tongue ever uttered
I could perceive that the fervour with which I spoke made some impression
upon every one that heard me But in a moment their eyes were turned upon the
property that lay before them and their countenances changed I proceeded
One thing more I must aver Mr Falkland is not deceived he perfectly knows
that I am innocent
I had no sooner uttered these words than an involuntary cry of indignation
burst from every person in the room Mr Forester turned to me with a look of
extreme severity and said
Young man consider well what you are doing It is the privilege of the
party accused to say whatever he thinks proper and I will take care that you
shall enjoy that privilege in its utmost extent But do you think it will
conduce in any respect to your benefit to throw out such insolent and
intolerable insinuations
I thank you most sincerely replied I for your caution but I well know
what it is I am doing I make this declaration not merely because it is solemnly
true but because it is inseparably connected with my vindication I am the
party accused and I shall be told that I am not to be believed in my own
defence I can produce no other witnesses of my innocence I therefore call upon
Mr Falkland to be my evidence I ask him
Did you never boast to me in private of your power to ruin me Did you never
say that if once I brought on myself the weight of your displeasure my fall
should be irreparable Did you not tell me that though I should prepare in that
case a tale how ever plausible or how ever true you would take care that the
whole world should execrate me as an impostor Were not those your very words
Did you not add that my innocence should be of no service to me and that you
laughed at so feeble a defence I ask you farther Did you not receive a letter
from me the morning of the day on which I departed requesting your consent to
my departure Should I have done that if my flight had been that of a thief I
challenge any man to reconcile the expressions of that letter with this
accusation Should I have begun with stating that I had conceived a desire to
quit your service if my desire and the reasons for it had been of the nature
that is now alleged Should I have dared to ask for what reason I was thus
subjected to an eternal penance
Saying this I took out a copy of my letter and laid it open upon the table
Mr Falkland returned no immediate answer to my interrogations Mr Forester
turned to him and said Well sir what is your reply to this challenge of your
servant
Mr Falkland answered Such a mode of defence hardly stands in need of a
reply But I answer I held no such conversation I never used such words I
received no such letter Surely it is no sufficient refutation of a criminal
charge that the criminal repels what is alleged against him with volubility of
speech and intrepidity of manner
Mr Forester then turned to me If said he you trust your vindication to
the plausibility of your tale you must take care to render it consistent and
complete You have not told us what was the cause of the confusion and anxiety
in which Robert professes to have found you why you were so impatient to quit
the service of Mr Falkland or how you account for certain articles of his
property being found in your possession
All that sir answered I is true There are certain parts of my story that
I have not told If they were told they would not conduce to my disadvantage
and they would make the present accusation appear still more astonishing But I
cannot as yet at least prevail upon myself to tell them Is it necessary to
give any particular and precise reasons why I should wish to change the place of
my residence You all of you know the unfortunate state of Mr Falklands mind
You know the sternness reservedness and distance of his manners If I had no
other reasons surely it would afford small presumption of criminality that I
should wish to change his service for another
The question of how these articles of Mr Falklands property came to be
found in my possession is more material It is a question I am wholly unable to
answer Their being found there was at least as unexpected to me as to any one
of the persons now present I only know that as I have the most perfect
assurance of Mr Falklands being conscious of my innocence for observe I do
not shrink from that assertion I reiterate it with new confidence I therefore
firmly and from my soul believe that their being there is of Mr Falklands
contrivance
I no sooner said this than I was again interrupted by an involuntary
exclamation from every one present They looked at me with furious glances as
if they could have torn me to pieces I proceeded
I have now answered every thing that is alleged against me
Mr Forester you are a lover of justice I conjure you not to violate it in
my person You are a man of penetration look at me do you see any of the marks
of guilt Recollect all that has ever passed under your observation is it
compatible with a mind capable of what is now alleged against me Could a real
criminal have shown himself so unabashed composed and firm as I have now done
Fellow servants Mr Falkland is a man of rank and fortune he is your
master I am a poor country lad without a friend in the world That is a ground
of real difference to a certain extent but it is not a sufficient ground for
the subversion of justice Remember that I am in a situation that is not to be
trifled with that a decision given against me now in a case in which I
solemnly assure you I am innocent will for ever deprive me of reputation and
peace of mind combine the whole world in a league against me and determine
perhaps upon my liberty and my life If you believe if you see if you know
that I am innocent speak for me Do not suffer a pusillanimous timidity to
prevent you from saving a fellow creature from destruction who does not deserve
to have a human being for his enemy Why have we the power of speech but to
communicate our thoughts I will never believe that a man conscious of
innocence cannot make other men perceive that he has that thought Do not you
feel that my whole heart tells me I am not guilty of what is imputed to me
To you Mr Falkland I have nothing to say I know you and know that you
are impenetrable At the very moment that you are urging such odious charges
against me you admire my resolution and forbearance But I have nothing to hope
from you You can look upon my ruin without pity or remorse I am most
unfortunate indeed in having to do with such an adversary You oblige me to say
ill things of you but I appeal to your own heart whether my language is that of
exaggeration or revenge
Every thing that could be alleged on either side being now concluded Mr
Forester undertook to make some remarks upon the whole Williams said he the
charge against you is heavy the direct evidence strong the corroborating
circumstances numerous and striking I grant that you have shown considerable
dexterity in your answers but you will learn young man to your cost that
dexterity however powerful it may be in certain cases will avail little
against the stubbornness of truth It is fortunate for mankind that the empire
of talents has its limitations and that it is not in the power of ingenuity to
subvert the distinctions of right and wrong Take my word for it that the true
merits of the case against you will be too strong for sophistry to overturn
that justice will prevail and impotent malice be defeated
To you Mr Falkland society is obliged for having placed this black affair
in its true light Do not suffer the malignant aspersions of the criminal to
give you any uneasiness Depend upon it that they will be found of no weight I
have no doubt that your character in the judgment of every person that has heard
them stands higher than ever We feel for your misfortune in being obliged to
hear such calumnies from a person who has injured you so grossly But you must
be considered in that respect as a martyr in the public cause The purity of
your motives and dispositions is beyond the reach of malice and truth and
equity will not fail to award to your calumniator infamy and to you the love
and approbation of mankind
I have now told you Williams what I think of your case But I have no
right to assume to be your ultimate judge Desperate as it appears to me I will
give you one piece of advice as if I were retained as a counsel to assist you
Leave out of it whatever tends to the disadvantage of Mr Falkland Defend
yourself as well as you can but do not attack your master It is your business
to create in those that hear you a prepossession in your favour But the
recrimination you have been now practising will always create indignation
Dishonesty will admit of some palliation The deliberate malice you have now
been showing is a thousand times more atrocious It proves you to have the mind
of a demon rather than a felon Wherever you shall repeat it those who hear you
will pronounce you guilty upon that even if the proper evidence against you
were glaringly defective If therefore you would consult your interest which
seems to be your only consideration it is incumbent upon you by all means
immediately to retract that If you desire to be believed honest you must in
the first place show that you have a due sense of merit in others You cannot
better serve your cause than by begging pardon of your master and doing homage
to rectitude and worth even when they are employed in vengeance against you
It is easy to conceive that my mind sustained an extreme shock from the
decision of Mr Forester but his call upon me to retract and humble myself
before my accuser penetrated my whole soul with indignation I answered
I have already told you I am innocent I believe that I could not endure the
effort of inventing a plausible defence if it were otherwise You have just
affirmed that it is not in the power of ingenuity to subvert the distinctions of
right and wrong and in that very instant I find them subverted This is indeed
to me a very awful moment New to the world I know nothing of its affairs but
what has reached me by rumour or is recorded in books I have come into it with
all the ardour and confidence inseparable from my years In every fellow being I
expected to find a friend I am unpractised in its wiles and have even no
acquaintance with its injustice I have done nothing to deserve the animosity of
mankind but if I may judge from the present scene I am from henceforth to be
deprived of the benefits of integrity and honour I am to forfeit the friendship
of every one I have hitherto known and to be precluded from the power of
acquiring that of others I must therefore be reduced to derive my satisfaction
from myself Depend upon it I will not begin that career by dishonourable
concessions If I am to despair of the good will of other men I will at least
maintain the independence of my own mind Mr Falkland is my implacable enemy
Whatever may be his merits in other respects he is acting towards me without
humanity without remorse and without principle Do you think I will ever make
any submissions to a man by whom I am thus treated that I will fall down at the
feet of one who is to me a devil or kiss the hand that is red with my blood
In that respect answered Mr Forester do as you shall think proper I must
confess that your firmness and consistency astonish me They add something to
what I had conceived of human powers Perhaps you have chosen the part which all
things considered may serve your purpose best though I think more moderation
would be more conciliating The exterior of innocence will I grant stagger the
persons who may have the direction of your fate but it will never be able to
prevail against plain and incontrovertible facts But I have done with you I
see in you a new instance of that abuse which is so generally made of talents
the admiration of an undiscerning public I regard you with horror All that
remains is that I should discharge my duty in consigning you as a monster of
depravity to the justice of your country
No rejoined Mr Falkland to that I can never consent I have put a
restraint upon myself thus far because it was right that evidence and enquiry
should take their course I have suppressed all my habits and sentiments
because it seemed due to the public that hypocrisy should be unmasked But I can
suffer this violence no longer I have through my whole life interfered to
protect not overbear the sufferer and I must do so now I feel not the
smallest resentment of his impotent attacks upon my character I smile at their
malice and they make no diminution in my benevolence to their author Let him
say what he pleases he cannot hurt me It was proper that he should be brought
to public shame that other people might not be deceived by him as we have been
But there is no necessity for proceeding farther and I must insist upon it that
he be permitted to depart wherever he pleases I am sorry that public interest
affords so gloomy a prospect for his future happiness
Mr Falkland answered Mr Forester these sentiments do honour to your
humanity but I must not give way to them They only serve to set in a stronger
light the venom of this serpent this monster of ingratitude who first robs his
benefactor and then reviles him Wretch that you are will nothing move you
Are you inaccessible to remorse Are you not struck to the heart with the
unmerited goodness of your master Vile calumniator you are the abhorrence of
nature the opprobrium of the human species and the earth can only be freed
from an insupportable burthen by your being exterminated Recollect sir that
this monster at the very moment that you are exercising such unexampled
forbearance in his behalf has the presumption to charge you with prosecuting a
crime of which you know him to be innocent nay with having conveyed the
pretended stolen goods among his property for the express purpose of ruining
him By this unexampled villainy he makes it your duty to free the world from
such a pest and your interest to admit no relaxing in your pursuit of him lest
the world should be persuaded by your clemency to credit his vile insinuations
I care not for consequences replied Mr Falkland I will obey the dictates
of my own mind I will never lend my assistance to the reforming mankind by axes
and gibbets I am sure things will never be as they ought till honour and not
law be the dictator of mankind till vice is taught to shrink before the
resistless might of inborn dignity and not before the cold formality of
statutes If my calumniator were worthy of my resentment I would chastise him
with my own sword and not that of the magistrate but in the present case I
smile at his malice and resolve to spare him as the generous lord of the
forest spares the insect that would disturb his repose
The language you now hold said Mr Forester is that of romance and not of
reason Yet I cannot but be struck with the contrast exhibited before me of the
magnanimity of virtue and the obstinate impenetrable injustice of guilt While
your mind overflows with goodness nothing can touch the heart of this thrice
bred villain I shall never forgive myself for having once been entrapped by his
detestable arts This is no time for us to settle the question between chivalry
and law I shall therefore simply insist as a magistrate having taken the
evidence in this felony upon my right and duty of following the course of
justice and committing the accused to the county jail
After some farther contest Mr Falkland finding Mr Forester obstinate and
impracticable withdrew his opposition Accordingly a proper officer was
summoned from the neighbouring village a mittimus made out and one of Mr
Falklands carriages prepared to conduct me to the place of custody It will
easily be imagined that this sudden reverse was very painfully felt by me I
looked round on the servants who had been the spectators of my examination but
not one of them either by word or gesture expressed any compassion for my
calamity The robbery of which I was accused appeared to them atrocious from its
magnitude and whatever sparks of compassion might otherwise have sprung up in
their ingenuous and undisciplined minds were totally obliterated by indignation
at my supposed profligacy in recriminating upon their worthy and excellent
master My fate being already determined and one of the servants dispatched for
the officer Mr Forester and Mr Falkland withdrew and left me in the custody
of two others
One of these was the son of a farmer at no great distance who had been in
habits of long established intimacy with my late father I was willing
accurately to discover the state of mind of those who had been witnesses of this
scene and who had had some previous opportunity of observing my character and
manners I therefore endeavoured to open a conversation with him Well my good
Thomas said I in a querulous tone and with a hesitating manner am I not a
most miserable creature
Do not speak to me master Williams You have given me a shock that I shall
not get the better of for one while You were hatched by a hen as the saying
is but you came of the spawn of a cockatrice I am glad to my heart that
honest farmer Williams is dead your villainy would else have made him curse the
day that ever he was born
Thomas I am innocent I swear by the great God that shall judge me another
day I am innocent
Pray do not swear for goodness sake do not swear Your poor soul is
damned enough without that For your sake lad I will never take any bodys
word nor trust to appearances thof it should be an angel Lord bless us how
smoothly you palavered it over for all the world as if you had been as fair as
a newborn babe But it will not do you will never be able to persuade people
that black is white For my own part I have done with you I loved you
yesterday all one as if you had been my own brother Today I love you so well
that I would go ten miles with all the pleasure in life to see you hanged
Good God Thomas have you the heart What a change I call God to witness I
have done nothing to deserve it What a world do we live in
Hold your tongue boy It makes my very heart sick to hear you I would not
lie a night under the same roof with you for all the world I should expect the
house to fall and crush such wickedness I admire that the earth does not open
and swallow you alive It is poison so much as to look at you If you go on at
this hardened rate I believe from my soul that the people you talk to will tear
you to pieces and you will never live to come to the gallows Oh yes you do
well to pity yourself poor tender thing that spit venom all round you like a
toad and leave the very ground upon which you crawl infected with your slime
Finding the person with whom I talked thus impenetrable to all I could say
and considering that the advantage to be gained was but small even if I could
overcome his prepossession I took his advice and was silent It was not much
longer before every thing was prepared for my departure and I was conducted to
the same prison which had so lately inclosed the wretched and innocent
Hawkinses They too had been the victims of Mr Falkland He exhibited upon a
contracted scale indeed but in which the truth of delineation was faithfully
sustained a copy of what monarchs are who reckon among the instruments of
their power prisons of state
Chapter XI
For my own part I had never seen a prison and like the majority of my brethren
had given myself little concern to enquire what was the condition of those who
committed offence against or became obnoxious to suspicion from the community
Oh how enviable is the most tottering shed under which the labourer retires to
rest compared with the residence of these walls
To me every thing was new the massy doors the resounding locks the gloomy
passages the grated windows and the characteristic looks of the keepers
accustomed to reject every petition and to steel their hearts against feeling
and pity Curiosity and a sense of my situation induced me to fix my eyes on the
faces of these men but in a few minutes I drew them away with unconquerable
loathing It is impossible to describe the sort of squalidness and filth with
which these mansions are distinguished I have seen dirty faces in dirty
apartments which have nevertheless borne the impression of health and spoke
carelessness and levity rather than distress But the dirt of a prison speaks
sadness to the heart and appears to be already in a state of putridity and
infection
I was detained for more than an hour in the apartment of the keeper one
turnkey after another coming in that they might make themselves familiar with
my person As I was already considered as guilty of felony to a considerable
amount I underwent a rigorous search and they took from me a penknife a pair
of scissars and that part of my money which was in gold It was debated whether
or not these should be sealed up to be returned to me as they said as soon as
I should be acquitted and had I not displayed an unexpected firmness of manner
and vigour of expostulation such was probably the conduct that would have been
pursued Having undergone these ceremonies I was thrust into a day room in
which all the persons then under confinement for felony were assembled to the
number of eleven Each of them was too much engaged in his own reflections to
take notice of me Of these two were imprisoned for horse stealing and three
for having stolen a sheep one for shop lifting one for coining two for
highway robbery and two for burglary
The horse stealers were engaged in a game at cards which was presently
interrupted by a difference of opinion attended with great vociferation they
calling upon one and another to decide it to no purpose one paying no attention
to their summons and another leaving them in the midst of their story being no
longer able to endure his own internal anguish in the midst of their mummery
It is a custom among thieves to constitute a sort of mock tribunal of their
own body from whose decision every one is informed whether he shall be
acquitted respited or pardoned as well as respecting the supposed most skilful
way of conducting his defence One of the housebreakers who had already passed
this ordeal was stalking up and down the room with a forced bravery exclaimed
to his companion that he was as rich as the duke of Bedford himself He had five
guineas and a half which was as much as he could possibly spend in the course
of the ensuing month and what happened after that it was Jack Ketchs business
to see to not his As he uttered these words he threw himself abruptly upon a
bench that was near him and seemed to be asleep in a moment But his sleep was
uneasy and disturbed his breathing was hard and at intervals had rather the
nature of a groan A young fellow from the other side of the room came softly to
the place where he lay with a large knife in his hand and pressed the back of
it with such violence upon his neck the head hanging over the side of the
bench that it was not till after several efforts that he was able to rise Oh
Jack cried this manual jester I had almost done your business for you The
other expressed no marks of resentment but sullenly answered Damn you why did
not you take the edge It would have been the best thing you have done this many
a day1
The case of one of the persons committed for highway robbery was not a
little extraordinary He was a common soldier of a most engaging physiognomy
and two and twenty years of age The prosecutor who had been robbed one evening
as he returned late from the alehouse of the sum of three shillings swore
positively to his person The character of the prisoner was such as has seldom
been equalled He had been ardent in the pursuit of intellectual cultivation
and was accustomed to draw his favourite amusement from the works of Virgil and
Horace The humbleness of his situation combined with his ardour for
literature only served to give an inexpressible heightening to the
interestingness of his character He was plain and unaffected he assumed
nothing he was capable when occasion demanded of firmness but in his
ordinary deportment he seemed unarmed and unresisting unsuspicious of guile in
others as he was totally free from guile in himself His integrity was
proverbially great In one instance he had been intrusted by a lady to convey a
sum of a thousand pounds to a person at some miles distance in another he was
employed by a gentleman during his absence in the care of his house and
furniture to the value of at least five times that sum His habits of thinking
were strictly his own full of justice simplicity and wisdom He from time to
time earned money of his officers by his peculiar excellence in furbishing arms
but he declined offers that had been made him to become a serjeant or a
corporal saying that he did not want money and that in a new situation he
should have less leisure for study He was equally constant in refusing presents
that were offered him by persons who had been struck with his merit not that he
was under the influence of false delicacy and pride but that he had no
inclination to accept that the want of which he did not feel to be an evil
This man died while I was in prison I received his last breath2
The whole day I was obliged to spend in the company of these men some of
them having really committed the actions laid to their charge others whom their
ill fortune had rendered the victims of suspicion The whole was a scene of
misery such as nothing short of actual observation can suggest to the mind Some
were noisy and obstreperous endeavouring by a false bravery to keep at bay the
remembrance of their condition while others incapable even of this effort had
the torment of their thoughts aggravated by the perpetual noise and confusion
that prevailed around them In the faces of those who assumed the most courage
you might trace the furrows of anxious care and in the midst of their laboured
hilarity dreadful ideas would ever and anon intrude convulsing their features
and working every line into an expression of the keenest agony To these men the
sun brought no return of joy Day after day rolled on but their state was
immutable Existence was to them a scene of invariable melancholy every moment
was a moment of anguish yet did they wish to prolong that moment fearful that
the coming period would bring a severer fate They thought of the past with
insupportable repentance each man contented to give his right hand to have
again the choice of that peace and liberty which he had unthinkingly bartered
away We talk of instruments of torture Englishmen take credit to themselves
for having banished the use of them from their happy shore Alas he that has
observed the secrets of a prison well knows that there is more torture in the
lingering existence of a criminal in the silent intolerable minutes that he
spends than in the tangible misery of whips and racks
Such were our days At sun set our jailors appeared and ordered each man to
come away and be locked into his dungeon It was a bitter aggravation of our
fate to be under the arbitrary control of these fellows They felt no mans
sorrow they were of all men least capable of any sort of feeling They had a
barbarous and sullen pleasure in issuing their detested mandates and observing
the mournful reluctance with which they were obeyed Whatever they directed it
was in vain to expostulate fetters and bread and water were the sure
consequences of resistance Their tyranny had no other limit than their own
caprice to whom shall the unfortunate felon appeal To what purpose complain
when his complaints are sure to be received with incredulity A tale of mutiny
and necessary precaution is the unfailing refuge of the keeper and this tale is
an everlasting bar against redress
Our dungeons were cells 712 feet by 612 below the surface of the ground
damp without window light or air except from a few holes worked for that
purpose in the door In some of these miserable receptacles three persons were
put to sleep together3 I was fortunate enough to have one to myself It was now
the approach of winter We were not allowed to have candles and as I have
already said were thrust in here at sun set and not liberated till the
returning day This was our situation for fourteen or fifteen hours out of the
four and twenty I had never been accustomed to sleep more than six or seven
hours and my inclination to sleep was now less than ever Thus was I reduced to
spend half my day in this dreary abode and in complete darkness This was no
trifling aggravation of my lot
Among my melancholy reflections I tasked my memory and counted over the
doors the locks the bolts the chains the massy walls and grated windows that
were between me and liberty These said I are the engines that tyranny sits
down in cold and serious meditation to invent This is the empire that man
exercises over man Thus is a being formed to expatiate to act to smile and
enjoy restricted and benumbed How great must be his depravity or heedlessness
who vindicates this scheme for changing health and gaiety and serenity into the
wanness of a dungeon and the deep furrows of agony and despair
Thank God exclaims the Englishman we have no Bastille Thank God with us
no man can be punished without a crime Unthinking wretch Is that a country of
liberty where thousands languish in dungeons and fetters Go go ignorant fool
and visit the scenes of our prisons witness their unwholesomeness their filth
the tyranny of their governors the misery of their inmates After that show me
the man shameless enough to triumph and say England has no Bastille Is there
any charge so frivolous upon which men are not consigned to those detested
abodes Is there any villainy that is not practised by justices and prosecutors
But against all this perhaps you have been told there is redress Yes a
redress that it is the consummation of insult so much as to name Where shall
the poor wretch reduced to the last despair and to whom acquittal perhaps
comes just time enough to save him from perishing where shall this man find
leisure and much less money to see counsel and officers and purchase the
tedious dear bought remedy of the law No he is too happy to leave his dungeon
and the memory of his dungeon behind him and the same tyranny and wanton
oppression become the inheritance of his successor
For myself I looked round upon my walls and forward upon the premature
death I had too much reason to expect I consulted my own heart that whispered
nothing but innocence and I said This is society This is the object the
distribution of justice which is the end of human reason For this sages have
toiled and the midnight oil has been wasted This
The reader will forgive this digression from the immediate subject of my
story If it should be said these are general remarks let it be remembered
that they are the dear bought result of experience It is from the fulness of a
bursting heart that reproach thus flows to my pen These are not the
declamations of a man desirous to be eloquent I have felt the iron of slavery
grating upon my soul
I believed that misery more pure than that which I now endured had never
fallen to the lot of a human being I recollected with astonishment my puerile
eagerness to be brought to the test and have my innocence examined I execrated
it as the vilest and most insufferable pedantry I exclaimed in the bitterness
of my heart Of what value is a fair fame It is the jewel of men formed to be
amused with baubles Without it I might have had serenity of heart and
chearfulness of occupation peace and liberty why should I consign my happiness
to other mens arbitration But if a fair fame were of the most inexpressible
value is this the method which common sense would prescribe to retrieve it The
language which these institutions hold out to the unfortunate is Come and be
shut out from the light of day be the associate of those whom society has
marked out for her abhorrence be the slave of jailers be loaded with fetters
thus shall you be cleared from every unworthy aspersion and restored to
reputation and honour This is the consolation she affords to those whom
malignity or folly private pique or unfounded positiveness have without the
smallest foundation loaded with calumny For myself I felt my own innocence and
I soon found upon enquiry that three fourths of those who are regularly
subjected to a similar treatment are persons whom even with all the
superciliousness and precipitation of our courts of justice no evidence can be
found sufficient to convict How slender then must be that mans portion of
information and discernment who is willing to commit his character and welfare
to such guardianship
But my case was even worse than this I intimately felt that a trial such
as our institutions have hitherto been able to make it is only the worthy
sequel of such a beginning What chance was there after the purgation I was now
suffering that I should come out acquitted at last What probability was there
that the trial I had endured in the house of Mr Falkland was not just as fair
as any that might be expected to follow No I anticipated my own condemnation
Thus was I cut off for ever from all that existence has to bestow from all
the high hopes I had so often conceived from all the future excellence my soul
so much delighted to imagine to spend a few weeks in a miserable prison and
then to perish by the hand of the public executioner No language can do justice
to the indignant and soulsickening loathing that these ideas excited My
resentment was not restricted to my prosecutor but extended itself to the whole
machine of society I could never believe that all this was the fair result of
institutions inseparable from the general good I regarded the whole human
species as so many hangmen and torturers I considered them as confederated to
tear me to pieces and this wide scene of inexorable persecution inflicted upon
me inexpressible agony I looked on this side and on that I was innocent I had
a right to expect assistance but every heart was steeled against me every hand
was ready to lend its force to make my ruin secure No man that has not felt in
his own most momentous concerns justice eternal truth unalterable equity
engaged in his behalf and on the other side brute force impenetrable obstinacy
and unfeeling insolence can imagine the sensations that then passed through my
mind I saw treachery triumphant and enthroned I saw the sinews of innocence
crumbled into dust by the gripe of almighty guilt
What relief had I from these sensations Was it relief that I spent the day
in the midst of profligacy and execrations that I saw reflected from every
countenance agonies only inferior to my own He that would form a lively idea of
the regions of the damned need only to witness for six hours a scene to which I
was confined for many months Not for one hour could I withdraw myself from this
complexity of horrors or take refuge in the calmness of meditation Air
exercise series contrast those grand enliveners of the human frame I was for
ever debarred by the inexorable tyranny under which I was fallen Nor did I find
the solitude of my nightly dungeon less insupportable Its only furniture was
the straw that served me for my repose It was narrow damp and unwholesome The
slumbers of a mind wearied like mine with the most detestable uniformity to
whom neither amusement nor occupation ever offered themselves to beguile the
painful hours were short disturbed and unrefreshing My sleeping still more
than my waking thoughts were full of perplexity deformity and disorder To
these slumbers succeeded the hours which by the regulations of our prison I was
obliged though awake to spend in solitary and chearless darkness Here I had
neither books nor pens nor any thing upon which to engage my attention all
was a sightless blank How was a mind active and indefatigable like mine to
endure this misery I could not sink it in lethargy I could not forget my woes
they haunted me with unintermitted and demoniac malice Cruel inexorable policy
of human affairs that condemns a man to torture like this that sanctions it
and knows not what is done under its sanction that is too supine and unfeeling
to enquire into these petty details that calls this the ordeal of innocence and
the protector of freedom A thousand times I could have dashed my brains against
the walls of my dungeon a thousand times I longed for death and wished with
inexpressible ardour for an end to what I suffered a thousand times I meditated
suicide and ruminated in the bitterness of my soul upon the different means of
escaping from the load of existence What had I to do with life I had seen
enough to make me regard it with detestation Why should I wait the lingering
process of legal despotism and not dare so much as to die but when and how its
instruments decreed Still some inexplicable suggestion withheld my hand I
clung with desperate fondness to this shadow of existence its mysterious
attractions and its hopeless prospects
Chapter XII
Such were the reflections that haunted the first days of my imprisonment in
consequence of which they were spent in perpetual anguish But after a time
nature wearied with distress would no longer stoop to the burthen thought
which is incessantly varying introduced a series of reflections totally
different
My fortitude revived I had always been accustomed to chearfulness good
humour and serenity and this habit now returned to visit me at the bottom of my
dungeon No sooner did my contemplations take this turn than I saw the
reasonableness and possibility of tranquillity and peace and my mind whispered
to me the propriety of showing in this forlorn condition that I was superior to
all my persecutors Blessed state of innocence and self approbation The
sunshine of conscious integrity pierced through all the barriers of my cell and
spoke ten thousand times more joy to my heart than the accumulated splendours
of nature and art can communicate to the slaves of vice
I found out the secret of employing my mind I said I am shut up for half
the day in total darkness without any external source of amusement the other
half I spend in the midst of noise turbulence and confusion What then Can I
not draw amusement from the stores of my own mind Is it not freighted with
various knowledge Have I not been employed from my infancy in gratifying an
insatiable curiosity When should I derive benefit from these superior
advantages if not at present Accordingly I tasked the stores of my memory and
my powers of invention I amused myself with recollecting the history of my
life By degrees I called to mind a number of minute circumstances which but for
this exercise would have been for ever forgotten I repassed in my thoughts
whole conversations I recollected their subjects their arrangement their
incidents and frequently their very words I mused upon these ideas till I was
totally absorbed in thought I repeated them till my mind glowed with
enthusiasm I had my different employments fitted for the solitude of the night
in which I could give full scope to the impulses of my mind and the uproar of
the day in which my chief object was to be insensible to the disorder with which
I was surrounded
By degrees I quitted my own story and employed myself with imaginary
adventures I figured to myself every situation in which I could be placed and
conceived the conduct to be observed in each Thus scenes of insult and danger
of tenderness and oppression became familiar to me In fancy I often passed the
awful hour of dissolving nature In some of my reveries I boiled with impetuous
indignation and in others patiently collected the whole force of my mind for
some fearful encounter I cultivated the powers of oratory suited to these
different states and improved more in eloquence in the solitude of my dungeon
than perhaps I should have done in the busiest and most crowded scenes At
length I proceeded to as regular a disposition of my time as the man in his
study who passes from mathematics to poetry and from poetry to the law of
nations in the different parts of each single day and I as seldom infringed
upon my plan Nor were my subjects of disquisition less numerous than his I
went over by the assistance of memory only a considerable part of Euclid
during my confinement and revived day after day the series of facts and
incidents in some of the most celebrated historians I became myself a poet and
while I described the sentiments cherished by the view of natural objects
recorded the characters and passions of men and partook with a burning zeal in
the generosity of their determinations I eluded the squalid solitude of my
dungeon and wandered in idea through all the varieties of human society I
easily found expedients such as the mind seems always to require and which
books and pens supply to the man at large to record from time to time the
progress that had been made
While I was thus employed I reflected with exultation upon the degree in
which man is independent of the smiles and frowns of fortune I was beyond her
reach for I could fall no lower To an ordinary eye I might seem destitute and
miserable but in reality I wanted for nothing My fare was coarse but I was in
health My dungeon was noisome but I felt no inconvenience I was shut up from
the usual means of exercise and air but I found the method of exercising myself
even to perspiration in my dungeon I had no power of withdrawing my person from
a disgustful society in the most chearful and valuable part of the day but I
soon brought to perfection the art of withdrawing my thoughts and saw and heard
the people about me for just as short a time and as seldom as I pleased
Such is man in himself considered so simple his nature so few his wants
How different from the man of artificial society Palaces are built for his
reception a thousand vehicles provided for his exercise provinces are
ransacked for the gratification of his appetite and the whole world traversed
to supply him with apparel and furniture Thus vast is his expenditure and the
purchase slavery He is dependent on a thousand accidents for tranquillity and
health and his body and soul are at the devotion of whoever will satisfy his
imperious cravings
In addition to the disadvantages of my present situation I was reserved for
an ignominious death What then Every man must die No man knows how soon It
surely is not worse to encounter the king of terrors in health and with every
advantage for the collection of fortitude than to encounter him already half
subdued by sickness and suffering I was resolved at least fully to possess the
days I had to live and this is peculiarly in the power of the man who preserves
his health to the last moment of his existence Why should I suffer my mind to
be invaded by unavailing regrets Every sentiment of vanity or rather of
independence and justice within me instigated me to say to my persecutor You
may cut off my existence but you cannot disturb my serenity
Chapter XIII
In the midst of these reflections another thought which had not before struck
me occurred to my mind I exult said I and reasonably over the impotence of
my persecutor Is not that impotence greater than I have yet imagined I say he
may cut off my existence but cannot disturb my serenity It is true my mind
the clearness of my spirit the firmness of my temper are beyond his reach is
not my life equally so if I please What are the material obstacles that man
never subdued What is the undertaking so arduous that by some has not been
accomplished And if by others why not by me Had they stronger motives than
I Was existence more variously endeared to them or had they more numerous
methods by which to animate and adorn it Many of those who have exerted most
perseverance and intrepidity were obviously my inferiors in that respect Why
should not I be as daring as they Adamant and steel have a ductility like water
to a mind sufficiently bold and contemplative The mind is master of itself and
is endowed with powers that might enable it to laugh at the tyrants vigilance
I passed and repassed these ideas in my mind and heated with the
contemplation I said No I will not die
My reading in early youth had been extremely miscellaneous I had read of
housebreakers to whom locks and bolts were a jest and who vain of their art
exhibited the experiment of entering a house the most strongly barricaded with
as little noise and almost as little trouble as other men would lift up a latch
There is nothing so interesting to the juvenile mind as the wonderful there is
no power that it so eagerly covets as that of astonishing spectators by its
miraculous exertions Mind appeared to my untutored reflections vague airy and
unfettered the susceptible perceiver of reasons but never intended by nature
to be the slave of force Why should it be in the power of man to overtake and
hold me by violence Why when I chuse to withdraw myself should I not be
capable of eluding the most vigilant search These limbs and this trunk are a
cumbrous and unfortunate load for the power of thinking to drag along with it
but why should not the power of thinking be able to lighten the load till it
shall be no longer felt These early modes of reflection were by no means
indifferent to my present enquiries
Our nextdoor neighbour at my fathers house had been a carpenter Fresh
from the sort of reading I have mentioned I was eager to examine his tools
their powers and their uses This carpenter was a man of a strong and vigorous
mind and his faculties having been chiefly confined to the range of his
profession he was fertile in experiments and ingenious in reasoning upon these
particular topics I therefore obtained from him considerable satisfaction and
my mind being set in action I sometimes even improved upon the hints he
furnished His conversation was particularly agreeable to me I at first worked
with him sometimes for my amusement and afterwards occasionally for a short
time as his journeyman I was constitutionally vigorous and by the experience
thus attained I added to the abstract possession of power the skill of applying
it when I pleased in such a manner as that no part should be inefficient
It is a strange but no uncommon feature in the human mind that the very
resource of which we stand in greatest need in a critical situation though
already accumulated it may be by preceding industry fails to present itself at
the time when it should be called into action Thus my mind had passed through
two very different stages since my imprisonment before this means of liberation
suggested itself My faculties were overwhelmed in the first instance, and
raised to a pitch of enthusiasm in the second while in both I took it for
granted in a manner that I must passively submit to the good pleasure of my
persecutors
During the period in which my mind had been thus undecided and when I had
been little more than a month in durance the assizes which were held twice a
year in the town in which I was a prisoner came on Upon this occasion my case
was not brought forward but was suffered to stand over six months longer It
would have been just the same if I had had as strong reason to expect
acquittal as I had conviction If I had been apprehended upon the most
frivolous reasons upon which any justice of the peace ever thought proper to
commit a naked beggar for trial I must still have waited about two hundred and
seventeen days before my innocence could be cleared So imperfect are the
effects of the boasted laws of a country whose legislators hold their assembly
from four to six months in every year I could never discover with certainty
whether this delay were owing to any interference on the part of my prosecutor
or whether it fell out in the regular administration of justice which is too
solemn and dignified to accommodate itself to the rights or benefit of an
insignificant individual
But this was not the only incident that occurred to me during my confinement
for which I could find no satisfactory solution It was nearly at the same time
that the keeper began to alter his behaviour to me He sent for me one morning
into the part of the building which was appropriated for his own use and after
some hesitation told me he was sorry my accommodations had been so indifferent
and asked whether I should like to have a chamber in his family I was struck
with the unexpectedness of this question and desired to know whether any body
had employed him to ask it No he replied but now the assizes were over he
had fewer felons on his hands and more time to look about him He believed I
was a good kind of a young man and he had taken a sort of a liking to me I
fixed my eye upon his countenance as he said this I could discover none of the
usual symptoms of kindness he appeared to me to be acting a part unnatural and
that sat with aukwardness upon him He went on however to offer me the liberty
of eating at his table which if I chose it he said would make no difference
to him and he should not think of charging me any thing for it He had always
indeed as much upon his hands as one person could see to but his wife and his
daughter Peggy would be woundily pleased to hear a person of learning talk as
he understood I was and perhaps I might not feel myself unpleasantly
circumstanced in their company
I reflected on this proposal and had little doubt notwithstanding what the
keeper had affirmed to the contrary that it did not proceed from any
spontaneous humanity in him but that he had to speak the language of persons
of his cast good reasons for what he did I busied myself in conjectures as to
who could be the author of this sort of indulgence and attention The two most
likely persons were Mr Falkland and Mr Forester The latter I knew to be a man
austere and inexorable towards those whom he deemed vicious He piqued himself
upon being insensible to those softer emotions which he believed answered no
other purpose than to seduce us from our duty Mr Falkland on the contrary was
a man of the acutest sensibility hence arose his pleasures and his pains his
virtues and his vices Though he were the bitterest enemy to whom I could
possibly be exposed and though no sentiments of humanity could divert or
control the bent of his mind I yet persuaded myself that he was more likely
than his kinsman to visit in idea the scene of my dungeon and to feel impelled
to alleviate my sufferings
This conjecture was by no means calculated to serve as balm to my mind My
thoughts were full of irritation against my persecutor How could I think kindly
of a man in competition with the gratification of whose ruling passion my good
name or my life was deemed as of no consideration I saw him crushing the one
and bringing the other into jeopardy with a quietness and composure on his part
that I could not recollect without horror I knew not what were his plans
respecting me I knew not whether he troubled himself so much as to form a
barren wish for the preservation of one whose future prospects he had so
iniquitously tarnished I had hitherto been silent as to my principal topic of
recrimination But I was by no means certain that I should consent to go out of
the world in silence the victim of this mans obduracy and art In every view I
felt my heart ulcerated with a sense of his injustice and my very soul spurned
these pitiful indulgences at a time that he was grinding me into dust with the
inexorableness of his vengeance
I was influenced by these sentiments in my reply to the jailor and I found
a secret pleasure in pronouncing them in all their bitterness I viewed him with
a sarcastic smile and said I was glad to find him of a sudden become so
humane I was not however without some penetration as to the humanity of a
jailor and could guess at the circumstances by which it was produced But he
might tell his employer that his cares were fruitless I would accept no favours
from a man that held a halter about my neck and had courage enough to endure
the worst both in time to come and now The jailor looked at me with
astonishment and turning upon his heel exclaimed Well done my cock You
have not had your learning for nothing I see You are set upon not dying
dunghil But that is to come lad you had better by half keep your courage till
you shall find it wanted
The assizes which passed over without influence to me produced a great
revolution among my fellowprisoners I lived long enough in the jail to witness
a general mutation of its inhabitants One of the housebreakers the rival of
the duke of Bedford and the coiner were hanged Two more were cast for
transportation and the rest acquitted The transports remained with us and
though the prison was thus lightened of nine of its inhabitants there were at
the next halfyearly period of assizes as many persons on the felons side
within three as I had found on my first arrival
The soldier whose story I have already recorded died on the evening of
the very day on which the judges arrived of a disease the consequence of his
confinement Such was the justice that resulted from the laws of his country to
an individual who would have been the ornament of any age one who of all the
men I ever knew was perhaps the kindest of the most feeling heart of the most
engaging and unaffected manners and the most unblemished life The name of this
man was Brightwel Were it possible for my pen to consecrate him to never dying
fame I could undertake no task more grateful to my heart His judgment was
penetrating and manly totally unmixed with imbecility and confusion while at
the same time there was such an uncontending frankness in his countenance that
a superficial observer would have supposed he must have been the prey of the
first plausible knavery that was practised against him Great reason have I to
remember him with affection He was the most ardent and I had almost said the
last of my friends Nor did I remain in this respect in his debt There was
indeed a great congeniality if I may presume to say so in our characters
except that I cannot pretend to rival the originality and selfcreated vigour of
his mind or to compare with what the world has scarcely surpassed the
correctness and untainted purity of his conduct He heard my story as far as I
thought proper to disclose it with interest he examined it with sincere
impartiality and if at first any doubt remained upon his mind a frequent
observation of me in my most unguarded moments taught him in no long time to
place an unreserved confidence in my innocence
He talked of the injustice of which we were mutual victims without
bitterness and delighted to believe that the time would come when the
possibility of such intolerable oppression would be extirpated But this he
said was a happiness reserved for posterity it was too late for us to reap the
benefit of it It was some consolation to him that he could not tell the period
in his past life which the best judgment of which he was capable would teach him
to spend better He could say with as much reason as most men he had
discharged his duty But he foresaw that he should not survive his present
calamity This was his prediction while yet in health He might be said in a
certain sense to have a broken heart But if that phrase were in any way
applicable to him sure never was despair more calm more full of resignation
and serenity
At no time in the whole course of my adventures was I exposed to a shock
more severe than I received from this mans death The circumstances of his fate
presented themselves to my mind in their full complication of iniquity From him
and the execrations with which I loaded the government that could be the
instrument of his tragedy I turned to myself I beheld the catastrophe of
Brightwel with envy A thousand times I longed that my corse had laid in death
instead of his I was only reserved as I persuaded myself for unutterable woe
In a few days he would have been acquitted his liberty his reputation
restored mankind perhaps struck with the injustice he had suffered would have
shown themselves eager to balance his misfortunes and obliterate his disgrace
But this man died and I remained alive I who though not less wrongfully
treated than he had no hope of reparation must be marked as long as I lived
for a villain and in my death probably held up to the scorn and detestation of
my species
Such were some of the immediate reflections which the fate of this
unfortunate martyr produced in my mind Yet my intercourse with Brightwel was
not in the review without its portion of comfort I said This man has seen
through the veil of calumny that overshades me he has understood and has
loved me Why should I despair May I not meet hereafter with men ingenuous like
him who shall do me justice and sympathise with my calamity With that
consolation I will be satisfied I will rest in the arms of friendship and
forget the malignity of the world Henceforth I will be contented with tranquil
obscurity with the cultivation of sentiment and wisdom and the exercise of
benevolence within a narrow circle It was thus that my mind became excited to
the project I was about to undertake
I had no sooner meditated the idea of an escape than I determined upon the
following method of facilitating the preparations for it I undertook to
ingratiate myself with my keeper In the world I have generally found such
persons as had been acquainted with the outline of my story regarding me with a
sort of loathing and abhorrence which made them avoid me with as much care as
if I had been spotted with the plague The idea of my having first robbed my
patron and then endeavouring to clear myself by charging him with subornation
against me placed me in a class distinct from and infinitely more guilty than
that of common felons But this man was too good a master of his profession to
entertain aversion against a fellow creature upon such a score He considered
the persons committed to his custody merely as so many human bodies for whom he
was responsible that they should be forthcoming in time and place and the
difference of innocence and guilt he looked down upon as an affair beneath his
attention I had not therefore the prejudices to encounter in recommending
myself to him that I have found so peculiarly obstinate in many other cases
Add to which the same motive whatever it was that had made him so profuse in
his offers a little before had probably its influence on the present occasion
I informed him of my skill in the profession of a joiner and offered to
make him half a dozen handsome chairs if he would facilitate my obtaining the
tools necessary for carrying on my profession in my present confinement for
without his consent previously obtained it would have been in vain for me to
expect that I could quietly exert an industry of this kind even if my existence
had depended upon it He looked at me first as asking himself what he was to
understand by this novel proposal and then his countenance most graciously
relaxing said he was glad I was come off a little of my high notions and my
buckram and he would see what he could do Two days after he signified his
compliance He said that as to the matter of the present I had offered him he
thought nothing of that I might do as I pleased in it but I might depend upon
every civility from him that he could show with safety to himself if so be as
when he was civil I did not offer a second time for to snap and take him up
short
Having thus gained my preliminary I gradually accumulated tools of various
sorts gimlets piercers chissels et cetera I immediately set myself to work
The nights were long and the sordid eagerness of my keeper notwithstanding his
ostentatious generosity was great I therefore petitioned and was indulged with
a bit of candle that I might amuse myself for an hour or two with my work after
I was locked up in my dungeon I did not however by any means apply constantly
to the work I had undertaken and my jailor betrayed various tokens of
impatience Perhaps he was afraid I should not have finished it before I was
hanged I however insisted upon working at my leisure as I pleased and this he
did not venture expressly to dispute In addition to the advantages thus
obtained I procured secretly from miss Peggy who now and then came into the
jail to make her observations of the prisoners and who seemed to have conceived
some partiality for my person the implement of an iron crow
In these proceedings it is easy to trace the vice and duplicity that must be
expected to grow out of injustice I know not whether my readers will pardon the
sinister advantage I extracted from the mysterious concessions of my keeper But
I must acknowledge my weakness in that respect I am writing my adventures and
not my apology and I was not prepared to maintain the unvaried sincerity of my
manners at the expence of a speedy close of my existence
My plan was now digested I believed that by means of the crow I could
easily and without much noise force the door of my dungeon from its hinges or
if not that I could in case of necessity cut away the lock This door led
into a narrow passage bounded on one side by the range of dungeons and on the
other by the jailors and turnkeys apartments through which was the usual
entrance from the street This outlet I dared not attempt for fear of disturbing
the persons close to whose very door I should in that case have found it
necessary to pass I determined therefore upon another door at the farther end
of the passage which was well barricaded and which led to a sort of a garden
in the occupation of the keeper This garden I had never entered but I had had
an opportunity of observing it from the window of the felons day room which
looked that way the room itself being immediately over the range of dungeons I
perceived that it was bounded by a wall of considerable height which I was told
by my fellow prisoners was the extremity of the jail on that side and beyond
which was a backlane of some length that terminated in the skirts of the town
Upon an accurate observation and much reflection upon the subject I found that I
should be able if once I got into the garden with my gimlets and piercers
inserted at proper distances to make a sort of ladder by means of which I could
clear the wall and once more take possession of the sweets of liberty I
preferred this wall to that which immediately skirted my dungeon on the other
side of which was a populous street
I suffered about two days to elapse from the period at which I had
thoroughly digested my project and then in the very middle of the night began
to set about its execution The first door was attended with considerable
difficulty but at length this obstacle was happily removed The second door was
fastened on the inside I was therefore able with perfect ease to push back the
bolts But the lock which of course was depended upon for the principal
security and was therefore strong was double shot and the key taken away I
endeavoured with my chissel to force back the bolt of the lock but to no
purpose I then unscrewed the box of the lock and that being taken away the
door was no longer opposed to my wishes
Thus far I had proceeded with the happiest success but close on the other
side of the door there was a kennel with a large mastiff dog of which I had not
the smallest previous knowledge Though I stepped along in the most careful
manner this animal was disturbed and began to bark I was extremely
disconcerted but immediately applied myself to soothe the animal in which I
presently succeeded I then returned along the passage to listen whether any
body had been disturbed by the noise of the dog resolved if that were the
case that I would return to my dungeon and endeavour to replace every thing in
its former state But the whole appeared perfectly quiet and I was encouraged
to proceed in my operation
I now got to the wall and had nearly gained half the ascent when I heard a
voice at the garden door crying Hulloa who is there who opened the door The
man received no answer and the night was too dark for him to distinguish
objects at any distance He therefore returned as I judged into the house for
a light Meantime the dog understanding the key in which these interrogations
were uttered began barking again more violently than ever I had now no
possibility of retreat and I was not without hopes that I might yet accomplish
my object and clear the wall Meanwhile a second man came out while the other
was getting his lanthorn and by that time I had got to the top of the wall
was able to perceive me He immediately set up a shout and threw a large stone
which grazed me in its flight Alarmed at my situation I was obliged to descend
on the other side without taking the necessary precautions and in my fall
nearly dislocated my ancle
There was a door in the wall of which I was not previously apprised and
this being opened the two men with the lanthorn were on the other side in an
instant They had then nothing to do but to run along the lane to the place from
which I had descended I endeavoured to rise after my fall but the pain was so
intense that I was scarcely able to stand and after having limped a few paces
I twisted my foot under me and fell down again I had now no remedy and
quietly suffered myself to be retaken
Chapter XIV
I was conducted to the keepers room for that night and the two men sat up with
me I was accosted with many interrogatories to which I gave little answer but
complained of the hurt in my leg To this I could obtain no reply except Curse
you my lad if that be all we will give you some ointment for that we will
anoint it with a little cold iron They were indeed excessively sulky with me
for having broken their nights rest and given them all this trouble In the
morning they were as good as their word fixing a pair of fetters upon both my
legs regardless of the ancle which was now swelled to a considerable size and
then fastening me with a padlock to a staple in the floor of my dungeon I
expostulated with warmth upon this treatment told them that I was a man upon
whom the law had as yet passed no censure and who therefore in the eye of the
law was innocent But they bid me keep such fudge for people who knew no better
that they knew what they did and would answer it to any court in England
The pain of the fetter was intolerable I endeavoured in various ways to
relieve it and even privily to free my leg but the more it was swelled the
more was this rendered impossible I then resolved to bear it with patience
still the longer it continued the worse it grew After two days and two nights
I intreated the turnkey to go and ask the surgeon who usually attended the
prison to look at it for if it continued longer as it was I was convinced it
would mortify But he glared surlily at me and said Damn my blood I should
like to see that day To die of a mortification is too good an end for such a
rascal At the time that he thus addressed me the whole mass of my blood was
already severed by the anguish I had undergone my patience was wholly
exhausted and I was silly enough to be irritated beyond bearing by his
impertinence and vulgarity Look you Mr turnkey said I there is one thing
that such fellows as you are set over us for and another thing that you are
not You are to take care we do not escape but it is no part of your office to
call us names and abuse us If I were not chained to the floor you dare as well
eat your fingers as use such language and take my word for it you shall yet
live to repent of your insolence
While I thus spoke the man stared at me with astonishment He was so little
accustomed to such retorts that at first he could scarcely believe his ears and
such was the firmness of my manner that he seemed to forget for a moment that I
was not at large But as soon as he had time to recollect himself he did not
deign even to be angry His face relaxed into a smile of contempt he snapped
his fingers at me and turning upon his heel exclaimed Well said my cock
Crow away Have a care you do not burst and as he shut the door upon me
mimicked the voice of the animal he mentioned
This rejoinder brought me to myself in a moment and showed me the impotence
of the resentment I was expressing But though he thus put an end to the
violence of my speech the torture of my body continued as great as ever I was
determined to change my mode of attack The same turnkey returned in a few
minutes and as he approached me to put down some food he had brought I
slipped a shilling into his hand saying at the same time My good fellow for
Gods sake go to the surgeon I am sure you do not wish me to perish for want
of assistance The fellow put the shilling in his pocket looked hard at me and
then with one nod of his head and without uttering a single word went away
The surgeon presently after made his appearance and finding the part in a high
state of inflammation ordered certain applications and gave peremptory
directions that the fetter should not be replaced upon that leg till a cure had
been effected It was a full month before the leg was perfectly healed and made
equally strong and flexible with the other
The condition in which I was now placed was totally different from that
which had preceded this attempt I was chained all day in my dungeon with no
other mitigation except that the door was regularly opened for a few hours at
which time some of the prisoners occasionally came and spoke to me particularly
one who though he could ill replace my beloved Brightwel was not deficient in
excellent qualities This was no other than the individual whom Mr Falkland had
some months before dismissed upon an accusation of murder His courage was gone
his garb was squalid and the comeliness and clearness of his countenance
utterly obliterated He was innocent worthy brave and benevolent He was I
believe afterwards acquitted and turned loose to wander a desolate and
perturbed spectre through the world My manual labours were now at an end my
dungeon was searched every night and every kind of tool carefully kept from me
The straw which had been hitherto allowed me was removed under pretence that it
was adapted for concealment and the only conveniences with which I was indulged
were a chair and a blanket
A prospect of some alleviation in no long time opened upon me but this my
usual ill fortune rendered abortive The keeper once more made his appearance
and with his former constitutional and ambiguous humanity He pretended to be
surprised at my want of every accommodation He reprehended in strong terms my
attempt to escape and observed that there must be an end of civility from
people in his situation if gentlemen after all would not know when they were
well It was necessary in cases the like of this to let the law take its course
and it would be ridiculous in me to complain if after a regular trial things
should go hard with me He was desirous of being in every respect my friend if I
would let him In the midst of this circumlocution and preamble he was called
away from me for something relating to the business of his office In the mean
time I ruminated upon his overtures and detesting as I did the source from
which I conceived them to flow I could not help reflecting how far it would be
possible to extract from them the means of escape But my meditations in this
case were vain The keeper returned no more during the remainder of that day
and on the next an incident occurred which put an end to all expectations from
his kindness
An active mind which has once been forced into any particular train can
scarcely be persuaded to desert it as hopeless I had studied my chains during
the extreme anguish that I endured from the pressure of the fetter upon the
ancle which had been sprained and though from the swelling and acute
sensibility of the part I had found all attempts at relief in that instance
impracticable I obtained from the coolness of my investigation another and
apparently superior advantage During the night my dungeon was in a complete
state of darkness but when the door was open the case was somewhat different
The passage indeed into which it opened was so narrow and the opposite dead
wall so near that it was but a glimmering and melancholy light that entered my
apartment even at full noon and when the door was at its widest extent But my
eyes after a practice of two or three weeks accommodated themselves to this
circumstance and I learned to distinguish the minutest objects One day as I
was alternately meditating and examining the objects around me I chanced to
observe a nail trodden into the mud floor at no great distance from me I
immediately conceived the desire of possessing myself of this implement but
for fear of surprise people passing perpetually to and fro I contented myself
for the present with remarking its situation so accurately that I might easily
find it again in the dark Accordingly as soon as my door was shut I seized
upon this new treasure and having contrived to fashion it to my purpose found
that I could unlock with it the padlock that fastened me to the staple in the
floor This I regarded as no inconsiderable advantage separately from the use I
might derive from it in relation to my principal object My chain permitted me
to move only about eighteen inches to the right or left and having borne this
confinement for several weeks my very heart leaped at the pitiful consolation
of being able to range without constraint the miserable coop in which I was
immured This incident had occurred several days previously to the last visit of
my keeper
From this time it had been my constant practice to liberate myself every
night and not to replace things in their former situation till I awoke in the
morning and expected shortly to perceive the entrance of the turnkey Security
breeds negligence On the morning succeeding my conference with the jailor it
so happened whether I overslept myself or the turnkey went his round earlier
than usual that I was roused from my sleep by the noise he made in opening the
cell next to my own and though I exerted the utmost diligence yet having to
grope for my materials in the dark I was unable to fasten the chain to the
staple before he entered as usual with his lanthorn He was extremely surprised
to find me disengaged and immediately summoned the principal keeper I was
questioned respecting my method of proceeding and as I believed concealment
could lead to nothing but a severer search and a more accurate watch I readily
acquainted them with the exact truth The illustrious personage whose function
it was to control the inhabitants of these walls was by this last instance
completely exasperated against me Artifice and fair speaking were at an end
His eyes sparkling with fury he exclaimed that he was now convinced of the
folly of showing kindness to rascals the scum of the earth such as I was and
damn him if any body should catch him at that again towards any one I had
cured him effectually He was astonished that the laws had not provided some
terrible retaliation for thieves that attempted to deceive their jailors
Hanging was a thousand times too good for me
Having vented his indignation he proceeded to give such orders as the
united instigations of anger and alarm suggested to his mind My apartment was
changed I was conducted to a room called the strong room the door of which
opened into the middle cell of the range of dungeons It was underground as they
were and had also the day room for felons already described immediately over
it It was spacious and dreary The door had not been opened for years the air
was putrid and the walls hung round with damps and mildew The fetters the
padlock and the staple were employed as in the former case in addition to which
they put on me a pair of hand cuffs For my first provision the keeper sent me
nothing but a bit of bread mouldy and black and some dirty and stinking water
I know not indeed whether this is to be regarded as gratuitous tyranny on the
part of the jailor the law having providently directed in certain cases that
the water to be administered to the prisoners shall be taken from the next sink
or puddle nearest to the jail4 It was farther ordered that one of the turnkeys
should sleep in the cell that formed a sort of antichamber to my apartment
Though every convenience was provided to render this chamber fit for the
reception of a personage of a dignity so superior to the felon he was appointed
to guard he expressed much dissatisfaction at the mandate but there was no
alternative
The situation to which I was thus removed was apparently the most
undesirable that could be imagined but I was not discouraged I had for some
time learned not to judge by appearances The apartment was dank and
unwholesome but I had acquired the secret of counteracting these influences My
door was kept continually shut and the other prisoners were debarred access to
me But if the intercourse of our fellow men has its pleasures solitude on the
other hand is not without its advantages In solitude we can pursue our own
thoughts undisturbed and I was able to call up at will the most pleasing
avocations Beside which to one who meditated such designs as now filled my
mind solitude had peculiar recommendations I was scarcely left to myself
before I tried an experiment the idea of which I conceived while they were
fixing my hand cuffs and with my teeth only disengaged myself from this
restraint The hours at which I was visited by the keepers were regular and I
took care to be provided for them Add to which I had a narrow grated window
near the ceiling about nine inches in perpendicular and a foot and a half
horizontally which though small admitted a much stronger light than that to
which I had been accustomed for several weeks Thus circumstanced I scarcely
ever found myself in total darkness and was better provided against surprises
than I had been in my preceding situation Such were the sentiments which this
change of abode immediately suggested
I had been a very little time removed when I received an unexpected visit
from Thomas Mr Falklands footman whom I have already mentioned in the course
of my narrative A servant of Mr Forester happened to come to the town where I
was imprisoned a few weeks before while I was confined with the hurt in my
ancle and had called in to see me The account he gave of what he observed had
been the source of many an uneasy sensation to Thomas The former visit was a
matter of mere curiosity but Thomas was of the better order of servants He was
considerably struck at the sight of me Though my mind was now serene and my
health sufficiently good yet the floridness of my complexion was gone and
there was a rudeness in my physiognomy the consequence of hardship and
fortitude extremely unlike the sleekness of my better days Thomas looked
alternately in my face at my hands and my feet and then fetched a deep sigh
After a pause
Lord bless us said he in a voice in which commiseration was sufficiently
perceptible is this you
Why not Thomas You knew I was sent to prison did not you
Prison and must people in prison be shackled and bound of that fashion
And where do you lay of nights
Here
Here Why there is no bed
No Thomas I am not allowed a bed I had straw formerly but that is taken
away
And do they take off them there things of nights
No I am expected to sleep just as you see
Sleep Why I thought this was a Christian country but this usage is too bad
for a dog
You must not say so Thomas It is what the wisdom of government has thought
fit to provide
Zounds how I have been deceived They told me what a fine thing it was to
be an Englishman and about liberty and property and all that there and I find
it is all a flam Lord what fools we be Things are done under our very noses
and we know nothing of the matter and a parcel of fellows with grave faces
swear to us that such things never happen but in France and other countries the
like of that Why you hant been tried ha you
No
And what signifies being tried when they do worse than hang a man and all
beforehand Well master Williams you have been very wicked to be sure and I
thought it would have done me good to see you hanged But I do not know how it
is ones heart melts and pity comes over one if we take time to cool I know
that ought not to be but damn it when I talked of your being hanged I did
not think of your suffering all this into the bargain
Soon after this conversation Thomas left me The idea of the long connexion
of our families rushed upon his memory and he felt more for my sufferings at
the moment than I did for myself In the afternoon I was surprised to see him
again He said that he could not get the thought of me out of his mind and
therefore he hoped I would not be displeased at his coming once more to take
leave of me I could perceive that he had something upon his mind which he did
not know how to discharge One of the turnkeys had each time come into the room
with him and continued as long as he staid Upon some avocation however a
noise I believe in the passage the turnkey went as far as the door to satisfy
his curiosity and Thomas watching the opportunity slipt into my hand a
chissel a file and a saw exclaiming at the same time with a sorrowful tone I
know I am doing wrong but if they hang me too I cannot help it I cannot do
no other For Christs sake get out of this place I cannot bear the thoughts
of it I received the implements with great joy and thrust them into my
bosom and as soon as he was gone concealed them in the rushes of my chair
For himself he had accomplished the object for which he came and presently
after bade me farewel
The next day the keepers I know not for what reason were more than usually
industrious in their search saying though without assigning any ground for
their suspicion that they were sure I had some tool in my possession that I
ought not but the depository I had chosen escaped them
I waited from this time the greater part of a week that I might have the
benefit of a bright moon light It was necessary that I should work in the
night it was necessary that my operations should be performed between the last
visit of the keepers at night and their first in the morning that is between
nine in the evening and seven In my dungeon as I have already said I passed
fourteen or fifteen hours of the four and twenty undisturbed but since I had
acquired a character for mechanical ingenuity a particular exception with
respect to me was made from the general rules of the prison
It was ten oclock when I entered on my undertaking The room in which I was
confined was secured with a double door This was totally superfluous for the
purpose of my detention since there was a centinel planted on the outside But
it was very fortunate for my plan because these doors prevented the easy
communication of sound and afforded me tolerable satisfaction that with a
little care in my mode of proceeding I might be secure against the danger of
being overheard I first took off my hand cuffs I then filed through my
fetters and next performed the same service to three of the iron bars that
secured my window to which I climbed partly by the assistance of my chair and
partly by means of certain irregularities in the wall All this was the work of
more than two hours When the bars were filed through I easily forced them a
little from the perpendicular and then drew them one by one out of the wall
into which they were sunk about three inches perfectly strait and without any
precaution to prevent their being removed But the space thus obtained was by no
means wide enough to admit the passing of my body I therefore applied myself
partly with my chissel and partly with one of the iron bars to the loosening
the brick work and when I had thus disengaged four or five bricks I got down
and piled them upon the floor This operation I repeated three or four times
The space was now sufficient for my purpose and having crept through the
opening I stepped upon a sort of shed on the outside
I was now in a kind of rude area between two dead walls that south of the
felons day room the windows of which were at the east end and the wall of the
prison But I had not as formerly any instruments to assist me in scaling the
wall which was of a considerable height There was of consequence no resource
for me but that of effecting a practicable breach in the lower part of the wall
which was of no contemptible strength being of stone on the outside with a
facing of brick within The rooms for the debtors were at right angles with the
building from which I had just escaped and as the night was extremely bright
I was in momentary danger particularly in case of the least noise of being
discovered by them several of their windows commanding the area Thus
circumstanced I determined to make the shed answer the purpose of concealment
It was locked but with the broken link of my fetters which I had had the
precaution to bring with me I found no great difficulty in opening the lock I
had now got a sufficient means of hiding my person while I proceeded in my work
attended with no other disadvantage than that of being obliged to leave the door
through which I had thus broken a little open for the sake of light After some
time I had removed a considerable part of the brick work of the outer wall but
when I came to the stone I found the undertaking infinitely more difficult The
mortar which bound together the building was by length of time nearly
petrified and appeared to my first efforts one solid rock of the hardest
adamant I had now been six hours incessantly engaged in incredible labour my
chissel broke in the first attempt upon this new obstacle and between fatigue
already endured and the seemingly invincible difficulty before me I concluded
that I must remain where I was and gave up the idea of further effort as
useless At the same time the moon whose light had till now been of the
greatest use to me set and I was left in total darkness After a respite of
ten minutes however I returned to the attack with new vigour It could not be
less than two hours before the first stone was loosened from the edifice In one
hour more the space was sufficient to admit of my escape The pile of bricks I
had left in the strong room was considerable But it was a mole hill compared
with the ruins I had forced from the outer wall I am fully assured that the
work I had thus performed would have been to a common labourer with every
advantage of tools the business of two or three days
But my difficulties instead of being ended seemed to be only begun The
day broke before I had completed the opening and in ten minutes more the
keepers would probably enter my apartment and perceive the devastation I had
left The lane which connected the side of the prison through which I had
escaped with the adjacent country was formed chiefly by two dead walls with
here and there a stable a few warehouses and some mean habitations tenanted by
the lower order of people My best security lay in clearing the town as soon as
possible and depending upon the open country for protection My arms were
intolerably swelled and bruised with my labour and my strength seemed wholly
exhausted with fatigue Speed I was nearly unable to exert for any continuance
and if I could with the enemy so close at my heels speed would too probably
have been useless It appeared as if I were now in almost the same situation as
that in which I had been placed five or six weeks before in which after having
completed my escape I was obliged to yield myself up without resistance to my
pursuers I was not however disabled as then I was capable of exertion to what
precise extent I could not ascertain and I was well aware that every instance
in which I should fail of my purpose would contribute to enhance the difficulty
of any future attempt Such were the considerations that presented themselves in
relation to my escape and even if that were effected I had to reckon among my
difficulties that at the time I quitted my prison I was destitute of every
resource and had not a shilling remaining in the world
End of Volume II
Volume III
Chapter I
I passed along the lane I have described without perceiving or being observed by
a human being The doors were shut the windowshutters closed and all was
still as night I reached the extremity of the lane unmolested My pursuers if
they immediately followed would know that the likelihood was small of my having
in the interval found shelter in this place and would proceed without
hesitation as I on my part was obliged to do from the end nearest to the
prison to its farthest termination
The face of the country in the spot to which I had thus opened myself a
passage was rude and uncultivated It was overgrown with brushwood and furze
the soil was for the most part of a loose sand and the surface extremely
irregular I climbed a small eminence and could perceive not very remote in the
distance a few cottages thinly scattered This prospect did not altogether
please me I conceived that my safety would for the present be extremely
assisted by keeping myself from the view of any human being
I therefore came down again into the valley and upon a careful examination
perceived that it was interspersed with cavities some deeper than others but
all of them so shallow as neither to be capable of hiding a man nor of exciting
suspicion as places of possible concealment Meanwhile the day had but just
begun to dawn the morning was lowering and drizzly and though the depth of
these caverns was of course well known to the neighbouring inhabitants the
shadows they cast were so black and impenetrable as might well have produced
wider expectations in the mind of a stranger Poor therefore as was the
protection they were able to afford I thought it right to have recourse to it
for the moment as the best the emergency would supply It was for my life and
the greater was the jeopardy to which it was exposed the more dear did that
life seem to become to my affections The recess I chose as most secure was
within little more than a hundred yards of the end of the lane and the extreme
buildings of the town
I had not stood up in this manner two minutes before I heard the sound of
feet and presently saw the ordinary turnkey and another pass by the place of my
retreat They were so close to me that if I had stretched out my hand I
believe I could have caught hold of their clothes without so much as changing my
posture As no part of the overhanging earth intervened between me and them I
could see them entire though the deepness of the shade rendered me almost
completely invisible I heard them say to each other in tones of vehement
asperity Curse the rascal which way can he be gone The reply was Damn him I
wish we had him but safe once again Never fear rejoined the first he cannot
have above half a mile the start of us They were presently out of hearing for
as to sight I dared not advance my body so much as an inch to look after them
lest I should be discovered by my pursuers in some other direction From the
very short time that elapsed between my escape and the appearance of these men I
concluded that they had made their way through the same outlet as I had done it
being impossible that they could have had time to come from the gate of the
prison and so round a considerable part of the town as they must otherwise have
done
I was so alarmed at this instance of diligence on the part of the enemy
that for some time I scarcely ventured to proceed an inch from my place of
concealment or almost to change my posture The morning which had been bleak
and drizzly was succeeded by a day of heavy and incessant rain and the gloomy
state of the air and surrounding objects together with the extreme nearness of
my prison and a total want of food caused me to pass the hours in no very
agreeable sensations This inclemency of the weather however which generated a
feeling of stilness and solitude encouraged me by degrees to change my retreat
for another of the same nature but of somewhat greater security I hovered with
little variation about a single spot as long as the sun continued above the
horizon
Towards evening the clouds began to disperse and the moon shone as on the
preceding night in full brightness I had perceived no human creature during
the whole day except in the instance already mentioned This had perhaps been
owing to the nature of the day at all events I considered it as too hazardous
an experiment to venture from my hiding place in so clear and fine a night I
was therefore obliged to wait for the setting of this luminary which was not
till near five oclock in the morning My only relief during this interval was
to allow myself to sink to the bottom of my cavern it being scarcely possible
for me to continue any longer on my feet Here I fell into an interrupted and
unrefreshing doze the consequence of a laborious night and a tedious
melancholy day though I rather sought to avoid sleep which cooperating with
the coldness of the season would tend more to injury than advantage
The period of darkness which I had determined to use for the purpose of
removing to a greater distance from my prison was in its whole duration
something less than three hours When I rose from my seat I was weak with
hunger and fatigue and which was worse I seemed between the dampness of the
preceding day and the sharp clear frost of the night to have lost the command
of my limbs I stood up and shook myself I leaned against the side of the hill
impelling in different directions the muscles of the extremities and at length
recovered in some degree the sense of feeling This operation was attended with
an incredible aching pain and required no common share of resolution to
encounter and prosecute it Having quitted my retreat I at first advanced with
weak and tottering steps but as I proceeded increased my pace The barren
heath which reached to the edge of the town was at least on this side without a
path but the stars shone and guiding myself by them I determined to steer as
far as possible from the hateful scene where I had been so long confined The
line I pursued was of irregular surface sometimes obliging me to climb a steep
ascent and at others to go down into a dark and impenetrable dell I was often
compelled by the dangerousness of the way to deviate considerably from the
direction I wished to pursue In the mean time I advanced with as much rapidity
as these and similar obstacles would permit me to do The swiftness of the
motion and the thinness of the air restored to me my alacrity I forgot the
inconveniences under which I laboured and my mind became lively spirited and
enthusiastic
I had now reached the border of the heath and entered upon what is usually
termed the forest Strange as it may seem it is nevertheless true that in
this conjecture exhausted with hunger destitute of all provision for the
future and surrounded with the most alarming dangers my mind suddenly became
glowing animated and chearful I thought that by this time the most formidable
difficulties of my undertaking were surmounted and I could not believe that
after having effected so much I should find any thing invincible in what
remained to be done I recollected the confinement I had undergone and the fate
that had impended over me with horror Never did man feel more vividly than I
felt at that moment the sweets of liberty Never did man more strenuously prefer
poverty with independence to the artificial allurements of a life of slavery I
stretched forth my arms with rapture I clapped my hands one upon the other and
exclaimed Ah this is indeed to be a man These wrists were lately galled with
fetters all my motions whether I rose up or sat down were echoed to with the
clanking of chains I was tied down like a wild beast and could not move but in
a circle of a few feet in circumference Now I can run fleet as a greyhound
and leap like a young roe upon the mountains Oh God if God there be that
condescends to record the lonely beatings of an anxious heart thou only canst
tell with what delight a prisoner just broke forth from his dungeon hugs the
blessings of new found liberty Sacred and indescribable moment when man
regains his rights But lately I held my life in jeopardy because one man was
unprincipled enough to assert what he knew to be false I was destined to suffer
an early and inexorable death from the hands of others because none of them had
penetration enough to distinguish from falshood what I uttered with the entire
conviction of a full fraught heart Strange that men from age to age should
consent to hold their lives at the breath of another merely that each in his
turn may have a power of acting the tyrant according to law Oh God give me
poverty shower upon me all the imaginary hardships of human life I will
receive them all with thankfulness Turn me a prey to the wild beasts of the
desert so I be never again the victim of man dressed in the goredripping robes
of authority Suffer me at least to call life and the pursuits of life my own
Let me hold it at the mercy of elements of the hunger of beasts or the revenge
of barbarians but not of the cold blooded prudence of monopolists and kings
How enviable was the enthusiasm which could thus furnish me with energy in the
midst of hunger poverty and universal desertion
I had now walked at least six miles At first I carefully avoided the
habitations that lay in my way and feared to be seen by any of the persons to
whom they belonged lest it should in any degree furnish a clue to the
researches of my pursuers As I went forward I conceived it might be proper to
relax a part of my precaution At this time I perceived several persons coming
out of a thicket close to me I immediately considered this circumstance as
rather favourable than the contrary It was necessary for me to avoid entering
any of the towns and villages in the vicinity It was however full time that I
should procure for myself some species of refreshment and by no means
improbable that these men might be in some way assisting to me in that respect
In my situation it appeared to me indifferent what might be their employment or
profession I had little to apprehend from thieves and I believed that they as
well as honest men could not fail to have some compassion for a person under my
circumstances I therefore rather threw myself in their way than avoided them
They were thieves One of the company cried out Who goes there stand I
accosted them Gentlemen said I I am a poor traveller almost While I spoke
they came round me and he that had first hailed me said Damn me tip us none
of your palaver we have heard that story of a poor traveller any time these
five years Come down with your dust let us see what you have got Sir I
replied I have not a shilling in the world and am more than half starved
beside Not a shilling answered my assailant what I suppose you are as poor
as a thief But if you have not money you have clothes and those you must
resign
My clothes rejoined I with indignation you cannot desire such a thing Is
it not enough that I am pennyless I have been all night upon the open heath It
is now the second day that I have not eaten a morsel of bread Would you strip
me naked to the weather in the midst of this depopulated forest No no you are
men The same hatred of oppression that arms you against the insolence of
wealth will teach you to relieve those who are perishing like me For Gods
sake give me food do not strip me of the benefits I still possess
While I uttered this apostrophe the unpremeditated eloquence of sentiment
I could perceive by their gestures though the day had not yet begun to dawn
that the feelings of one or two of the company appeared to take my part The
man who had already undertaken to be their spokesman perceived the same thing
and excited either by the brutality of his temper or the love of command
hastened to anticipate the disgrace of a defeat He brushed suddenly up to me
and by main force pushed me several feet from the place where I stood The shock
I received drove me upon a second of the gang not one of those who had listened
to my expostulation and he repeated the same brutality My indignation was
strongly excited by this treatment and after being thrust backward and forward
two or three times in this manner I broke through my assailants and turned
round to defend myself The first that advanced within my reach was my original
enemy In the present moment I listened to nothing but the dictates of passion
and I laid him at his length on the earth I was immediately assailed with
sticks and bludgeons on all sides and presently received a blow that almost
deprived me of my senses The man I had knocked down was now upon his feet
again and aimed a stroke at me with a cutlass as I fell which took place in a
deep wound upon my neck and shoulder He was going to repeat his blow The two
who had seemed to waver at first in their animosity afterwards appeared to me
to join in the attack urged either by animal sympathy or the spirit of
imitation One of them however as I afterwards understood seized the arm of
the man who was going to strike me a second time with his cutlass and who would
otherwise probably have put an end to my existence I could hear the words Damn
it enough enough that is too bad Gines How so replied a second voice he
will but pine here upon the forest and die by inches it will be an act of
charity to put him out of his pain It will be imagined that I was not
uninterested in this sort of debate I made an effort to speak my voice failed
me I stretched out one hand with a gesture of intreaty You shall not strike
by God said one of the voices why should we be murderers The side of
forbearance at length prevailed They therefore contented themselves with
stripping me of my coat and waistcoat and rolling me into a dry ditch They
then left me totally regardless of my distressed condition and the plentiful
effusion of blood which streamed from my wound
Chapter II
In this woful situation though extremely weak I was not deprived of sense I
tore my shirt from my naked body and with it endeavoured with some success to
make a bandage to stanch the flowing of the blood I then exerted myself to
crawl up the side of the ditch I had scarcely effected the latter when with
equal surprise and joy I perceived a man advancing at no great distance I
called for help as well as I could The man came towards me with evident signs
of compassion and the appearance I exhibited was indeed sufficiently calculated
to excite it I had no hat My hair was disheveled and the ends of the locks
clotted with blood My shirt was wrapped about my neck and shoulder and was
plentifully stained with red My body which was naked to my middle was
variegated with streams of blood nor had my lower garments which were white by
any means escaped
For Gods sake my poor fellow said he with a tone of the greatest
imaginable kindness how came you thus And saying this he lifted me up and
set me on my feet Can you stand added he doubtfully Oh yes very well I
replied Having received this answer he quitted me and began to take off his
own coat that he might cover me from the cold I had however overrated my
strength and was no sooner left to myself than I reeled and fell almost at my
length upon the ground But I broke my fall by stretching out my sound arm and
again raised myself upon my knees My benefactor now covered me raised me and
bidding me lean upon him told me he would presently conduct me to a place where
I should be taken care of Courage is a capricious property and though while I
had no one to depend upon but myself I possessed a mine of seemingly
inexhaustible fortitude yet no sooner did I find this unexpected sympathy on
the part of another than my resolution appeared to give way and I felt ready
to faint My charitable conductor perceived this and every now and then
encouraged me in a manner so chearful so good humoured and benevolent equally
free from the torture of droning expostulation and the weakness of indulgence
that I thought myself under the conduct of an angel rather than a man I could
perceive that his behaviour had in it nothing of boorishness and that he was
thoroughly imbued with the principles of affectionate civility
We walked about three quarters of a mile and that not towards the open but
the most uncouth and unfrequented part of the forest We crossed a place which
had once been a moat but which was now in some parts dry and in others
contained a little muddy and stagnated water Within the inclosure of this moat
I could only discover a pile of ruins and several walls the upper part of
which seemed to overhang their foundations and to totter to their ruin After
having entered however with my conductor through an archway and passed along a
winding passage that was perfectly dark we came to a stand
At the upper end of this passage was a door which I was unable to perceive
My conductor knocked at the door and was answered by a voice from within which
for body and force might have been the voice of a man but with a sort of female
sharpness and acidity enquiring Who is there Satisfaction was no sooner given
on this point than I heard two bolts pushed back and the door unlocked The
apartment opened and we entered The interior of this habitation by no means
corresponded with the appearance of my protector but on the contrary wore a
face of discomfort carelessness and dirt The only person I saw within was a
woman rather advanced in life and whose appearance had I know not what of
extraordinary and loathsome Her eyes were red and bloodshot her hair was
pendent in matted and shaggy tresses about her shoulders her complexion
swarthy and of the consistency of parchment her form spare and her whole
body her arms in particular uncommonly vigorous and muscular Not the milk of
human kindness but the feverous blood of savage ferocity seemed to flow from
her heart and her whole figure suggested an idea of unmitigable energy and an
appetite gorged in malevolence This infernal Thalestris had no sooner cast her
eyes upon us as we entered than she exclaimed in a discordant and discontented
voice What have we got here this is not one of our people My conductor
without answering this apostrophe bade her push an easy chair which stood in
one corner and set it directly before the fire This she did with apparent
reluctance muttering Ah you are at your old tricks I wonder what such folks
as we have to do with charity It will be the ruin of us at last I can see
that Hold your tongue beldam said he with a stern significance of manner
and fetch one of my best shirts a waistcoat and some dressings Saying this he
at the same time put into her hand a small bunch of keys In a word he treated
me with as much kindness as if he had been my father He examined my wound
washed and dressed it at the same time that the old woman by his express order
prepared for me such nourishment as he thought most suitable to my weak and
languid condition
These operations were no sooner completed than my benefactor recommended to
me to retire to rest and preparations were making for that purpose when
suddenly a trampling of feet was heard succeeded by a knock at the door The
old woman opened the door with the same precautions as had been employed upon
our arrival and immediately six or seven persons tumultuously entered the
apartment Their appearance was different some having the air of mere rustics
and others that of a tarnished sort of gentry All had a feature of boldness
inquietude and disorder extremely unlike any thing I had before observed in
such a groupe But my astonishment was still increased when upon a second
glance I perceived something in the general air of several of them and of one
in particular that persuaded me they were the gang from which I had just
escaped and this one the antagonist by whose animosity I was so near having
been finally destroyed I imagined they had entered our hovel with a hostile
intention that my benefactor was upon the point of being robbed and I probably
murdered
This suspicion however was soon removed They addressed my conductor with
respect under the appellation of captain They were boisterous and noisy in
their remarks and exclamations but their turbulence was tempered by a certain
deference to his opinion and authority I could observe in the person who had
been my active opponent some aukwardness and irresolution as he first perceived
me which he dismissed with a sort of effort exclaiming Who the devil is here
There was something in the tone of this apostrophe that roused the attention of
my protector He looked at the speaker with a fixed and penetrating glance and
then said Nay Gines do you know Did you ever see the person before Curse
it Gines interrupted a third you are damnably out of luck They say dead men
walk and you see there is some truth in it Truce with your impertinence
Jeckols replied my protector this is no proper occasion for a joke Answer me
Gines were you the cause of this young man being left naked and wounded this
bitter morning upon the forest
Mayhap I was What then
What provocation could induce you to so cruel a treatment
Provocation enough He had no money
What did you use him thus without so much as being irritated by any
resistance on his part
Yes he did resist I only hustled him and he had the impudence to strike
me
Gines you are an incorrigible fellow
Pooh what signifies what I am You with your compassion and your fine
feelings will bring us all to the gallows
I have nothing to say to you I have no hopes of you Comrades it is for
you to decide upon the conduct of this man as you think proper You know how
repeated his offences have been you know what pains I have taken to mend him
Our profession is the profession of justice It is thus that the prejudices of
men universally teach them to colour the most desperate cause to which they
have determined to adhere We who are thieves without a licence are at open
war with another set of men who are thieves according to law A thief is of
course a man living among his equals I do not pretend therefore to assume any
authority among you act as you think proper but so far as relates to myself
I vote that Gines be expelled from among us as a disgrace to our society
This proposition seemed to meet the general sense It was easy to perceive
that the opinion of the rest coincided with that of their leader
notwithstanding which a few of them hesitated as to the conduct to be pursued
In the mean time Gines muttered something in a surly and irresolute way about
taking care how they provoked him This insinuation instantly roused the courage
of my protector and his eyes flashed with contempt
Rascal said he do you menace us Do you think we will be your slaves No
no do your worst Go to the next justice of the peace and impeach us I can
easily believe you are capable of it Sir when we entered into this gang we
were not such fools as not to know that we entered upon a service of danger One
of its dangers consists in the treachery of fellows like you But we did not
enter at first to flinch now Did you believe that we would live in hourly fear
of you tremble at your threats and compromise whenever you should so please
with your insolence That would be a blessed life indeed I would rather see my
flesh torn piecemeal from my bones Go sir I defy you You dare not do it You
dare not sacrifice these gallant fellows to your rage and publish yourself to
all the world a traitor and a scoundrel If you do you will punish yourself
not us Begone
The intrepidity of the leader communicated itself to the rest of the
company Gines easily saw that there was no hope of bringing them over to a
contrary sentiment After a short pause he answered I did not mean No damn
it I will not snivel neither I was always true to my principles and a friend
to you all But since you are resolved to turn me out why good bye to you
The expulsion of this man produced a remarkable improvement in the whole
gang Those who were before inclined to humanity assumed new energy in
proportion as they saw such sentiments likely to prevail They had before
suffered themselves to be overborne by the boisterous insolence of their
antagonists but now they adopted and with success a different conduct Those
who envied the ascendancy of their comrade and therefore imitated his conduct
began to hesitate in their career Stories were brought forward of the cruelty
and brutality of Gines both to men and animals which had never before reached
the ear of the leader These stories I shall not repeat They could excite only
emotions of abhorrence and disgust and some of them argued a mind of such a
stretch of depravity as to many readers would appear utterly incredible And yet
this man had his virtues He was enterprising persevering and faithful
His removal was a considerable benefit to me It would have been no small
hardship to have been turned adrift immediately under my unfavourable
circumstances with the additional disadvantage of the wound I had received and
yet I could scarcely have ventured to remain under the same roof with a man to
whom my appearance was as a guilty conscience perpetually reminding him of his
own offence and the counteraction of his leader His profession accustomed him
to a certain degree of indifference to consequences and indulgence to the
sallies of passion and he might easily have found his opportunity to insult or
injure me when I should have had nothing but my own debilitated exertions to
protect me
Freed from this danger I found my situation sufficiently fortunate for a
man under my circumstances It was attended with all the advantages for
concealment my fondest imagination could have hoped and it was by no means
destitute of the benefits which arise from kindness and humanity Nothing could
be more unlike than the thieves I had seen in jail and the thieves of my new
residence The latter were generally full of chearfulness and merriment They
could expatiate freely wherever they thought proper They could form plans and
execute them They consulted their inclinations They did not impose upon
themselves the task as is too often the case in human society of seeming
tacitly to approve that from which they suffered most or which is worse of
persuading themselves that all the wrongs they suffered were right but were at
open war with their oppressors On the contrary the imprisoned felons I had
lately seen were shut up like wild beasts in a cage deprived of activity and
palsied with indolence The occasional demonstrations that still remained of
their former enterprising life were the starts and convulsions of disease not
the meditated and consistent exertions of a mind in health They had no more of
hope of project of golden and animated dreams but were reserved to the most
dismal prospects and forbidden to think upon any other topic It is true that
these two scenes were parts of one whole the one the consummation the hourly
to be expected successor of the other But the men I now saw were wholly
inattentive to this and in that respect appeared to hold no commerce with
reflection or reason
I might in one view as I have said congratulate myself upon my present
residence it answered completely the purposes of concealment It was the seat
of merriment and hilarity but the hilarity that characterised it produced no
correspondent feelings in my bosom The persons who composed this society had
each of them cast off all control from established principle their trade was
terror and their constant object to elude the vigilance of the community The
influence of these circumstances was visible in their character I found among
them benevolence and kindness they were strongly susceptible of emotions of
generosity But as their situation was precarious their dispositions were
proportionably fluctuating Inured to the animosity of their species they were
irritable and passionate Accustomed to exercise harshness towards the subject
of their depredations they did not always confine their brutality within that
scope They were habituated to consider wounds and bludgeons and stabbing as
the obvious mode of surmounting every difficulty Uninvolved in the debilitating
routine of human affairs they frequently displayed an energy which from every
impartial observer would have extorted veneration Energy is perhaps of all
qualities the most valuable and a just political system would possess the means
of extracting from it thus circumstanced its beneficial qualities instead of
consigning it as now to indiscriminate destruction We act like the chymist who
should reject the finest ore and employ none but what was sufficiently debased
to fit it immediately for the vilest uses But the energy of these men such as
I beheld it was in the highest degree misapplied unassisted by liberal and
enlightened views and directed only to the most narrow and contemptible
purposes
The residence I have been describing might to many persons have appeared
attended with intolerable inconveniences But exclusively of its advantages as
a field for speculation it was Elysium compared with that from which I had just
escaped Displeasing company incommodious apartments filthiness and riot lost
the circumstance by which they could most effectually disgust when I was not
compelled to remain with them All hardships I could patiently endure in
comparison with the menace of a violent and untimely death There was no
suffering that I could not persuade myself to consider as trivial except that
which flowed from the tyranny the frigid precaution or the inhuman revenge of
my own species
My recovery advanced in the most favourable manner The attention and
kindness of my protector were incessant and the rest caught the spirit from his
example The old woman who superintended the houshold still retained her
animosity She considered me as the cause of the expulsion of Gines from the
fraternity Gines had been the object of her particular partiality and zealous
as she was for the public concern she thought an old and experienced sinner for
a raw probationer but an ill exchange Add to which that her habits inclined
her to moroseness and discontent and that persons of her complexion seem unable
to exist without some object upon which to employ the superfluity of their gall
She lost no opportunity upon the most trifling occasion of displaying her
animosity and ever and anon eyed me with a furious glance of canine hunger for
my destruction Nothing was more evidently mortifying to her than the
procrastination of her malice nor could she bear to think that a fierceness so
gigantic and uncontrolable should show itself in nothing more terrific than the
pigmy spite of a chambermaid For myself I had been accustomed to the warfare
of formidable adversaries and the encounter of alarming dangers and what I saw
of her spleen had not power sufficient to disturb my tranquillity
As I recovered I told my story except so far as related to the detection
of Mr Falklands eventful secret to my protector That particular I could not
as yet prevail upon myself to disclose even in a situation like this which
seemed to preclude the possibility of its being made use of to the disadvantage
of my persecutor My present auditor however whose habits of thinking were
extremely opposite to those of Mr Forester did not from the obscurity which
flowed from this reserve deduce any unfavourable conclusion His penetration
was such as to afford little room for an impostor to hope to mislead him by a
fictitious statement and he confided in that penetration So confiding the
simplicity and integrity of my manner carried conviction to his mind and insured
his good opinion and friendship
He listened to my story with eagerness and commented on the several parts
as I related them He said that this was only one fresh instance of the tyranny
and perfidiousness exercised by the powerful members of the community against
those who were less privileged than themselves Nothing could be more clear than
their readiness to sacrifice the human species at large to their meanest
interest or wildest caprice Who that saw the situation in its true light would
wait till their oppressors thought fit to decree their destruction and not take
arms in their defence while it was yet in their power Which was most
meritorious the unresisting and dastardly submission of a slave or the
enterprise and gallantry of the man who dared to assert his claims Since by the
partial administration of our laws innocence when power was armed against it
had nothing better to hope for than guilt what man of true courage would fail
to set these laws at defiance and if he must suffer by their injustice at
least take care that he had first shown his contempt of their yoke For himself
he should certainly never have embraced his present calling had he not been
stimulated to it by these cogent and irresistible reasons and he hoped as
experience had so forcibly brought a conviction of this sort to my mind that he
should for the future have the happiness to associate me to his pursuits It
will presently be seen with what event these hopes were attended
Numerous were the precautions exercised by the gang of thieves with whom I
now resided to elude the vigilance of the satellites of justice It was one of
their rules to commit no depredations but at a considerable distance from the
place of their residence and Gines had transgressed this regulation in the
attack to which I was indebted for my present asylum After having possessed
themselves of any booty they took care in the sight of the persons whom they
had robbed to pursue a route as nearly as possible opposite to that which led to
their true haunts The appearance of their place of residence together with its
environs was peculiarly desolate and forlorn and it had the reputation of being
haunted The old woman I have described had long been its inhabitant and was
commonly supposed to be its only inhabitant and her person well accorded with
the rural ideas of a witch Her lodgers never went out or came in but with the
utmost circumspection and generally by night The lights which were occasionally
seen from various parts of her habitation were by the country people regarded
with horror as supernatural and if the noise of revelry at any time saluted
their ears it was imagined to proceed from a carnival of devils With all these
advantages the thieves did not venture to reside here but by intervals they
frequently absented themselves for months and removed to a different part of
the country The old woman sometimes attended them in these transportations and
sometimes remained but in all cases her decampment took place either sooner or
later than theirs so that the nicest observer could scarcely have traced any
connection between her reappearance and the alarms of depredation that were
frequently given and the festival of demons seemed to the terrified rustics
indifferently to take place whether she were present or absent
Chapter III
One day while I continued in this situation a circumstance occurred which
involuntarily attracted my attention Two of our people had been sent to a town
at some distance for the purpose of procuring us the things of which we were in
want After having delivered these to our landlady they retired to one corner
of the room and one of them pulling a printed paper from his pocket they
mutually occupied themselves in examining its contents I was sitting in an easy
chair by the fire being considerably better than I had been though still in a
weak and languid state Having read for a considerable time they looked at me
and then at the paper and then at me again They then went out of the room
together as if to consult without interruption upon something which that paper
suggested to them Some time after they returned and my protector who had been
absent upon the former occasion entered the room at the same instant
Captain said one of them with an air of pleasure look here we have found
a prize I believe it is as good as a bank note of a hundred guineas
Mr Raymond that was his name took the paper and read He paused for a
moment He then crushed the paper in his hand and turning to the person from
whom he had received it said with the tone of a man confident in the success of
his reasons
What use have you for these hundred guineas Are you in want Are you in
distress Can you be contented to purchase them at the price of treachery of
violating the laws of hospitality
Faith captain I do not very well know After having violated other laws I
do not see why we should be frightened at an old saw We pretend to judge for
ourselves and ought to be above shrinking from a bugbear of a proverb Beside
this is a good deed and I should think no more harm of being the ruin of such a
thief than of getting my dinner
A thief You talk of thieves
Not so fast captain God defend that I should say a word against thieving
as a general occupation But one man steals in one way and another in another
For my part I go upon the highway and take from any stranger I meet what it is
a hundred to one he can very well spare I see nothing to be found fault with in
that But I have as much conscience as another man Because I laugh at assizes
and great wigs and the gallows and because I will not be frightened from an
innocent action when the lawyers say me nay does it follow that I am to have a
fellow feeling for pilferers and rascally servants and people that have
neither justice nor principle No I have too much respect for the trade not to
be a foe to interlopers and people that so much the more deserve my hatred
because the world calls them by my name
You are wrong Larkins You certainly ought not to employ against people
that you hate supposing your hatred to be reasonable the instrumentality of
that law which in your practice you defy Be consistent Either be the friend of
law or its adversary Depend upon it that wherever there are laws at all
there will be laws against such people as you and me Either therefore we all of
us deserve the vengeance of the law or law is not the proper instrument of
correcting the misdeeds of mankind I tell you this because I would fain have
you aware that an informer or a kings evidence a man who takes advantage of
the confidence of another in order to betray him who sells the life of his
neighbour for money or coward like upon any pretence calls in the law to do
that for him which he cannot or dares not do for himself is the vilest of
rascals But in the present case if your reasons were the best in the world
they do not apply
While Mr Raymond was speaking the rest of the gang came into the room He
immediately turned to them and said
My friends here is a piece of intelligence that Larkins has just brought
in which with his leave I will lay before you
Then unfolding the paper he had received he continued This is the
description of a felon with the offer of a hundred guineas for his apprehension
Larkins picked it up at By the time and other circumstances but particularly
by the minute description of his person there can be no doubt but the object of
it is our young friend whose life I was a while ago the instrument of saving
He is charged here with having taken advantage of the confidence of his patron
and benefactor to rob him of property to a large amount Upon this charge he
was committed to the county jail from whence he made his escape about a
fortnight ago without venturing to stand his trial a circumstance which is
stated by the advertiser as tantamount to a confession of his guilt
My friends I was acquainted with the particulars of this story some time
before This lad let me into his history at a time that he could not possibly
foresee that he should stand in need of that precaution as an antidote against
danger He is not guilty of what is laid to his charge Which of you is so
ignorant as to suppose that his escape is any confirmation of his guilt Who
ever thinks when he is apprehended for trial of his innocence or guilt as
being at all material to the issue Who ever was fool enough to volunteer a
trial where those who are to decide think more of the horror of the thing of
which he is accused than whether he were the person that did it and where the
nature of our motives is to be collected from a set of ignorant witnesses that
no wise man would trust for a fair representation of the most indifferent action
of his life
The poor lads story is a long one and I will not trouble you with it now
But from that story it is as clear as the day that because he wished to leave
the service of his master because he had been perhaps a little too inquisitive
in his masters concerns and because as I suspect he had been trusted with
some important secrets his master conceived an antipathy against him This
antipathy gradually proceeded to such a length as to induce the master to forge
this vile accusation He seems willing to hang the lad out of the way rather
than suffer him to go where he pleases or get beyond the reach of his power
Williams has told me the story with such ingenuousness that I am as sure that he
is guiltless of what they lay to his charge as that I am so myself Nevertheless
the mans servants who were called in to hear the accusation and his relation
who as justice of the peace made out the mittimus and who had the folly to
think he could be impartial gave it on his side with one voice and thus
afforded Williams a sample of what he had to expect in the sequel
Larkins who when he received this paper had no previous knowledge of
particulars was for taking advantage of it for the purpose of earning the
hundred guineas Are you of that mind now you have heard them Will you for so
paltry a consideration deliver up the lamb into the jaws of the wolf Will you
abet the purposes of this sanguinary rascal who not contented with driving his
late dependent from house and home depriving him of character and all the
ordinary means of subsistence and leaving him almost without a refuge still
thirsts for his blood If no other person have the courage to set limits to the
tyranny of courts of justice shall not we Shall we who earn our livelihood by
generous daring be indebted for a penny to the vile artifices of the informer
Shall we against whom the whole species is in arms refuse our protection to an
individual more exposed to but still less deserving of their persecution than
ourselves
The representation of the captain produced an instant effect upon the whole
company They all exclaimed Betray him No not for worlds He is safe We will
protect him at the hazard of our lives If fidelity and honour be banished from
thieves where shall they find refuge upon the face of the earth5 Larkins in
particular thanked the captain for his interference and swore that he would
rather part with his right hand than injure so worthy a lad or assist such an
unheardof villainy Saying this he took me by the hand and bade me fear
nothing Under their roof no harm should ever befal me and even if the
understrappers of the law should discover my retreat they would to a man die in
my defence sooner than a hair of my head should be hurt I thanked him most
sincerely for his good will but I was principally struck with the fervent
benevolence of my benefactor I told them I found that my enemies were
inexorable and would never be appeased but with my blood and I assured them
with the most solemn and earnest veracity that I had done nothing to deserve
the persecution which was exercised against me
The spirit and energy of Mr Raymond had been such as to leave no part for
me to perform in repelling this unlookedfor danger Nevertheless it left a
very serious impression upon my mind I had always placed some confidence in the
returning equity of Mr Falkland Though he persecuted me with bitterness I
could not help believing that he did it unwillingly and I was persuaded it
would not be for ever A man whose original principles had been so full of
rectitude and honour could not fail at some time or other to recollect the
injustice of his conduct and to remit his asperity This idea had been always
present to me and had in no small degree conspired to instigate my exertions I
said I will convince my persecutor that I am of more value than that I should
be sacrificed purely by way of precaution These expectations on my part had
been encouraged by Mr Falklands behaviour upon the question of my imprisonment
and by various particulars which had occurred since
But this new incident gave to the subject a totally different appearance I
saw him not contented with blasting my reputation confining me for a period in
jail and reducing me to the situation of a houseless vagabond still continuing
his pursuit under these forlorn circumstances with unmitigable cruelty
Indignation and resentment seemed now for the first time to penetrate my mind I
knew his misery so well I was so fully acquainted with its cause and so
strongly impressed with the idea of its being unmerited that while I suffered
so deeply I still continued to pity rather than hate my persecutor But this
incident introduced some change into my feelings I said Surely he might now
believe that he had sufficiently disarmed me and might at length suffer me to
be at peace At least ought he not to be contented to leave me to my fate the
perilous and uncertain condition of an escaped felon instead of thus whetting
the animosity and vigilance of my countrymen against me Were his interference
on my behalf in opposition to the stern severity of Mr Forester and his
various acts of kindness since a mere part that he played in order to lull me
into patience Was he perpetually haunted with the fear of an ample retaliation
and for that purpose did he personate remorse at the very moment that he was
secretly keeping every engine at play that could secure my destruction The very
suspicion of such a fact filled me with inexpressible horror and struck a
sudden chill through every fibre of my frame
My wound was by this time completely healed and it became absolutely
necessary that I should form some determination respecting the future My habits
of thinking were such as gave me an uncontrolable repugnance to the vocation of
my hosts I did not indeed feel that aversion and abhorrence to the men which
are commonly entertained I saw and respected their good qualities and their
virtues I was by no means inclined to believe them worse men or more inimical
in their dispositions to the welfare of their species than the generality of
those that look down upon them with most censure But though I did not cease to
love them as individuals my eyes were perfectly opened to their mistakes If I
should otherwise have been in danger of being misled it was my fortune to have
studied felons in a jail before I studied them in their state of comparative
prosperity and this was an infallible antidote to the poison I saw that in
this profession were exerted uncommon energy ingenuity and fortitude and I
could not help recollecting how admirably beneficial such qualities might be
made in the great theatre of human affairs while in their present direction
they were thrown away upon purposes diametrically at war with the first
interests of human society Nor were their proceedings less injurious to their
own interest than incompatible with the general welfare The man who risks or
sacrifices his life for the public cause is rewarded with the testimony of an
approving conscience but persons who wantonly defy the necessary though
atrociously exaggerated precautions of government in the matter of property at
the same time that they commit an alarming hostility against the whole are as
to their own concerns scarcely less absurd and selfneglectful than the man who
should set himself up as a mark for a file of musqueteers to shoot at
Viewing the subject in this light I not only determined that I would have
no share in their occupation myself but thought I could not do less in return
for the benefits I had received from them than endeavour to dissuade them from
an employment in which they must themselves be the greatest sufferers My
expostulation met with a various reception All the persons to whom it was
addressed had been tolerably successful in persuading themselves of the
innocence of their calling and what remained of doubt in their mind was
smothered and so to speak laboriously forgotten Some of them laughed at my
arguments as a ridiculous piece of missionary quixotism Others and
particularly our captain repelled them with the boldness of a man that knows he
has got the strongest side But this sentiment of ease and selfsatisfaction did
not long remain They had been used to arguments derived from religion and the
sacredness of law They had long ago shaken these from them as so many
prejudices But my view of the subject appealed to principles which they could
not contest and had by no means the air of that customary reproof which is for
ever dinned in our ears without finding one responsive chord in our hearts
Urged as they now were with objections unexpected and cogent some of those to
whom I addressed them began to grow peevish and impatient of the intrusive
remonstrance But this was by no means the case with Mr Raymond He was
possessed of a candour that I have seldom seen equalled He was surprised to
hear objections so powerful to that which as a matter of speculation he believed
he had examined on all sides He revolved them with impartiality and care He
admitted them slowly but he at length fully admitted them He had now but one
rejoinder in reserve
Alas Williams said he it would have been fortunate for me if these views
had been presented to me previously to my embracing my present profession It is
now too late Those very laws which by a perception of their iniquity drove me
to what I am preclude my return God we are told judges of men by what they
are at the period of arraignment and whatever be their crimes if they have
seen and abjured the folly of those crimes receives them to favour But the
institutions of countries that profess to worship this God admit no such
distinctions They leave no room for amendment and seem to have a brutal
delight in confounding the demerits of offenders It signifies not what is the
character of the individual at the hour of trial How changed how spotless and
how useful avails him nothing If they discover at the distance of fourteen6 or
of forty years7 an action for which the law ordains that his life shall be the
forfeit though the interval should have been spent with the purity of a saint
and the devotedness of a patriot they disdain to enquire into it What then can
I do Am I not compelled to go on in folly having once begun
Chapter IV
I was extremely affected by this plea I could only answer that Mr Raymond must
himself be the best judge of the course it became him to hold I trusted the
case was not so desperate as he imagined This subject was pursued no farther
and was in some degree driven from my thoughts by an incident of a very
extraordinary nature I have already mentioned the animosity that was
entertained against me by the infernal portress of this solitary mansion Gines
the expelled member of the gang had been her particular favourite She
submitted to his exile indeed because her genius felt subdued by the energy and
inherent superiority of Mr Raymond but she submitted with murmuring and
discontent Not daring to resent the conduct of the principal in this affair
she collected all the bitterness of her spirit against me To the unpardonable
offence I had thus committed in the first instance, were added the reasonings I
had lately offered against the profession of robbery Robbery was a fundamental
article in the creed of this hoary veteran and she listened to my objections
with the same unaffected astonishment and horror that an old woman of other
habits would listen to one who objected to the agonies and dissolution of the
creator of the world or to the garment of imputed righteousness prepared to
envelop the souls of the elect Like the religious bigot she was sufficiently
disposed to avenge a hostility against her opinions with the weapons of
sublunary warfare Meanwhile I had smiled at the impotence of her malice as an
object of contempt rather than alarm She perceived as I imagine the slight
estimation in which I held her and this did not a little increase the
perturbation of her thoughts
One day I was left alone with no other person in the house than this swarthy
sybil The thieves had set out upon an expedition about two hours after sunset
on the preceding evening and had not returned as they were accustomed to do
before day break the next morning This was a circumstance that sometimes
occurred and therefore did not produce any extraordinary alarm At one time the
scent of prey would lead them beyond the bounds they had prescribed themselves
and at another the fear of pursuit the life of a thief is always uncertain The
old woman had been preparing during the night for the meal to which they would
expect to sit down as soon as might be after their return
For myself I had learned from their habits to be indifferent to the regular
return of the different parts of the day and in some degree to turn day into
night and night into day I had been now several weeks in this residence and
the season was considerably advanced I had passed some hours during the night
in ruminating on my situation The character and manners of the men among whom I
lived were disgusting to me Their brutal ignorance their ferocious habits and
their coarse behaviour instead of becoming more tolerable by custom hourly
added force to my original aversion The uncommon vigour of their minds and
acuteness of their invention in the business they pursued compared with the
odiousness of that business and their habitual depravity awakened in me
sensations too painful to be endured Moral disapprobation at least in a mind
unsubdued by philosophy I found to be one of the most fertile sources of
disquiet and uneasiness From this pain the society of Mr Raymond by no means
relieved me He was indeed eminently superior to the vices of the rest but I
did not less exquisitely feel how much he was out of his place how
disproportionably associated or how contemptibly employed I had attempted to
counteract the errors under which he and his companions laboured but I had
found the obstacles that presented themselves greater than I had imagined
What was I to do Was I to wait the issue of this my missionary undertaking
or was I to withdraw myself immediately When I withdrew ought that to be done
privately or with an open avowal of my design and an endeavour to supply by
the force of example what was deficient in my arguments It was certainly
improper as I declined all participation in the pursuits of these men did not
pay my contribution of hazard to the means by which they subsisted and had no
congeniality with their habits that I should continue to reside with them
longer than was absolutely necessary There was one circumstance that rendered
this deliberation particularly pressing They intended in a few days removing
from their present habitation to a haunt to which they were accustomed in a
distant county If I did not propose to continue with them it would perhaps be
wrong to accompany them in this removal The state of calamity to which my
inexorable prosecutor had reduced me had made the encounter even of a den of
robbers a fortunate adventure But the time that had since elapsed had probably
been sufficient to relax the keenness of the quest that was made after me I
sighed for that solitude and obscurity that retreat from the vexations of the
world and the voice even of common fame which I had proposed to myself when I
broke my prison
Such were the meditations which now occupied my mind At length I grew
fatigued with continued contemplation and to relieve myself I pulled out a
pocket Horace the legacy of my beloved Brightwel I read with avidity the
epistle in which he so beautifully describes to Fuscus the grammarian the
pleasures of rural tranquillity and independence By this time the sun rose from
behind the eastern hills and I opened my casement to contemplate it The day
commenced with peculiar brilliancy and was accompanied with all those charms
which the poets of nature as they have been styled have so much delighted to
describe There was something in this scene particularly as succeeding to the
active exertions of intellect that soothed the mind to composure Insensibly a
confused reverie invaded my faculties I withdrew from the window threw myself
upon the bed and fell asleep
I do not recollect the precise images which in this situation passed through
my thoughts but I know that they concluded with the idea of some person the
agent of Mr Falkland approaching to assassinate me This thought had probably
been suggested by the project I meditated of entering once again into the
world and throwing myself within the sphere of his possible vengeance I
imagined that the design of the murderer was to come upon me by surprise that I
was aware of his design and yet by some fascination had no thought of evading
it I heard the steps of the murderer as he cautiously approached I seemed to
listen to his constrained yet audible breathings He came up to the corner
where I was placed and then stopped The idea became too terrible I started
opened my eyes and beheld the execrable hag before mentioned standing over me
with a butchers cleaver I shifted my situation with a speed that seemed too
swift for volition and the blow already aimed at my scull sunk impotent upon
the bed Before she could wholly recover her posture I sprung upon her seized
hold of the weapon and had nearly wrested it from her But in a moment she
resumed her strength and her desperate purpose and we had a furious struggle
she impelled by inveterate malice and I resisting for my life Her vigour was
truly Amazonian and at no time had I ever occasion to contend with a more
formidable opponent Her glance was sudden and exact and the shock with which
from time to time she impelled her whole frame inconceivably vehement At
length I was victorious took from her the instrument of death and threw her
upon the ground Till now the earnestness of her exertions had curbed her rage
but now she gnashed with her teeth her eyes seemed as if starting from their
sockets and her body heaved with uncontrolable insanity
Rascal devil she exclaimed what do you mean to do to me
Till now the scene had passed uninterrupted by a single word
Nothing I replied begone infernal witch and leave me to myself
Leave you No I will thrust my fingers through your ribs and drink your
blood You conquer me Ha ha Yes yes you shall I will sit upon you
and press you to hell I will roast you with brimstone and dash your entrails
into your eyes Ha ha ha
Saying this she sprung up and prepared to attack me with redoubled fury I
seized her hands and compelled her to sit upon the bed Thus restrained she
continued to express the tumult of her thoughts by grinning by certain furious
motions of her head and by occasional vehement efforts to disengage herself
from my grasp These contortions and starts were of the nature of those fits in
which the patients are commonly supposed to need three or four persons to hold
them But I found by experience that under the circumstances in which I was
placed my single strength was sufficient The spectacle of her emotions was
inconceivably frightful Her violence at length however began to abate and she
became convinced of the hopelessness of the contest
Let me go said she Why do you hold me I will not be held
I wanted you gone from the first replied I Are you contented to go now
Yes I tell you misbegotten villain Yes rascal
I immediately loosed my hold She flew to the door and holding it in her
hand said I will be the death of you yet you shall not be your own man twenty
four hours longer With these words she shut the door and locked it upon me An
action so totally unexpected startled me Whither was she gone What was it she
intended To perish by the machinations of such a hag as this was a thought not
to be endured Death in any form brought upon us by surprise and for which the
mind has had no time to prepare is inexpressibly terrible My thoughts wandered
in breathless horror and confusion and all within was uproar I endeavoured to
break the door but in vain I went round the room in search of some tool to
assist me At length I rushed against it with a desperate effort to which it
yielded and had nearly thrown me from the top of the stairs to the bottom
I descended with all possible caution and vigilance I entered the room
which served us for a kitchen but it was deserted I searched every other
apartment in vain I went out among the ruins still I discovered nothing of my
late assailant It was extraordinary what could be become of her what was I to
conclude from her disappearance I reflected on her parting menace »I should
not be my own man twenty four hours longer« It was mysterious it did not seem
to be the menace of assassination
Suddenly the recollection of the hand bill brought to us by Larkins rushed
upon my memory Was it possible that she alluded to that in her parting words
Would she set out upon such an expedition by herself Was it not dangerous to
the whole fraternity if without the smallest precaution she should bring the
officers of justice in the midst of them It was perhaps improbable she would
engage in an undertaking thus desperate It was not however easy to answer for
the conduct of a person in her state of mind Should I wait and risk the
preservation of my liberty upon the issue
To this question I returned an immediate negative I had resolved in a very
short time to quit my present situation and the difference of a little sooner
or a little later could not be very material It promised to be neither
agreeable nor prudent for me to remain under the same roof with a person who
had manifested such a fierce and inexpiable hostility But the consideration
which had inexpressibly the most weight with me belonged to the ideas of
imprisonment trial and death The longer they had formed the subject of my
contemplation the more forcibly was I impelled to avoid them I had entered
upon a system of action for that purpose I had already made many sacrifices
and I believed that I would never miscarry in this project through any neglect
of mine The thought of what was reserved for me by my persecutors sickened my
very soul and the more intimately I was acquainted with oppression and
injustice the more deeply was I penetrated with the abhorrence to which they
are entitled
Such were the reasons that determined me instantly abruptly without
leavetaking or acknowledgment for the peculiar and repeated favours I had
received to quit a habitation to which for six weeks I had apparently been
indebted for protection from trial conviction and an ignominious death I had
come hither pennyless I quitted my abode with the sum of a few guineas in my
possession Mr Raymond having insisted upon my taking a share at the time that
each man received his dividend from the common stock Though I had reason to
suppose that the heat of the pursuit against me would be somewhat remitted by
the time that had elapsed the magnitude of the mischief that in an unfavourable
event might fall on me determined me to neglect no imaginable precaution I
recollected the hand bill which was the source of my present alarm and
conceived that one of the principal dangers which threatened me was the
recognition of my person either by such as had previously known me or even by
strangers It seemed prudent therefore to disguise it as effectually as I could
For this purpose I had recourse to a parcel of tattered garments that lay in a
neglected corner of our habitation The disguise I chose was that of a beggar
Upon this plan I threw off my shirt I tied a handkerchief about my head with
which I took care to cover one of my eyes Over this I drew a piece of an old
woollen nightcap I selected the worst apparel I could find and this I reduced
to a still more deplorable condition by rents that I purposely made in various
places Thus equipped I surveyed myself in a looking glass I had rendered my
appearance complete nor would any one have suspected that I was not one of the
fraternity to which I assumed to belong I said This is the form in which
tyranny and injustice oblige me to seek for refuge but better a thousand times
better is it thus to incur contempt with the dregs of mankind than to trust
to the tender mercies of our superiors
Chapter V
The only rule that I laid down to myself in traversing the forest was to take a
direction as opposite as possible to that which led to the scene of my late
imprisonment After about two hours walking I arrived at the termination of this
ruder scene and reached that part of the county which is inclosed and
cultivated Here I sat down by the side of a brook and pulling out a crust of
bread which I had brought away with me rested and refreshed myself While I
continued in this place I began to ruminate upon the plan I should lay down for
my future proceedings and my propensity now led me as it had done in a former
instance to fix upon the capital which I believed beside its other
recommendations would prove the safest place for concealment During these
thoughts I saw a couple of peasants passing at a small distance and enquired of
them respecting the London road By their description I understood that the most
immediate way would be to repass a part of the forest and that it would be
necessary to approach considerably nearer to the county town than I was at the
spot which I had at present reached I did not imagine that this could be a
circumstance of considerable importance My disguise appeared to be a sufficient
security against momentary danger and I therefore took a path though not the
most direct one which led towards the point they suggested
Some of the occurrences of the day are deserving to be mentioned As I
passed along a road which lay in my way for a few miles I saw a carriage
advancing in the opposite direction I debated with myself for a moment whether
I should pass it without notice or should take this occasion by voice or
gesture of making an essay of my trade This idle disquisition was however
speedily driven from my mind when I perceived that the carriage was Mr
Falklands The suddenness of the encounter struck me with terror though
perhaps it would have been difficult for calm reflection to have discovered any
considerable danger I withdrew from the road and skulked behind a hedge till
it should have completely gone by I was too much occupied with my own feelings
to venture to examine whether or no the terrible adversary of my peace were in
the carriage I persuaded myself that he was I looked after the equipage and
exclaimed There you may see the luxurious accommodations and appendages of
guilt and here the forlornness that waits upon innocence I was to blame to
imagine that my case was singular in that respect I only mention it to show how
the most trivial circumstance contributes to embitter the cup to the man of
adversity The thought however was a transient one I had learned this lesson
from my sufferings not to indulge in the luxury of discontent As my mind
recovered its tranquillity I began to enquire whether the phenomenon I had just
seen could have any relation to myself But though my mind was extremely
inquisitive and versatile in this respect I could discover no sufficient ground
upon which to build a judgment
At night I entered a little public house at the extremity of a village and
seating myself in a corner of the kitchen asked for some bread and cheese
While I was sitting at my repast three or four labourers came in for a little
refreshment after their work Ideas respecting the inequality of rank pervade
every order in society and as my appearance was meaner and more contemptible
than theirs I found it expedient to give way to these gentry of a village
alehouse and remove to an obscurer station I was surprised and not a little
startled to find them fall almost immediately into conversation about my
history whom with a slight variation of circumstances they styled the notorious
housebreaker Kit Williams
Damn the fellow said one of them one never hears of any thing else O my
life I think he makes talk for the whole county
That is very true replied another I was at the market town today to sell
some oats for my master and there was a hue and cry some of them thought they
had got him but it was a false alarm
That hundred guineas is a fine thing rejoined the first I should be glad
if so be as how it fell in my way
For the matter of that said the traveller I should like a hundred guineas
as well as another But I cannot be of your mind for all that I should never
think money would do me any good that had been the means of bringing a
Christian creature to the gallows
Poh that is all my granny Some folks must be hanged to keep the wheels of
our state folks agoing Beside I could forgive the fellow all his other
robberies but that he should have been so hardened as to break the house of his
own master at last that is too bad
Lord lord replied the other I see you know nothing of the matter I will
tell you how it was as I learned it at the town I question whether he ever
robbed his master at all But hark you you must know as how that squire
Falkland was once tried for murder
Yes yes we know that
Well he was as innocent as the child unborn But I supposes as how he is a
little soft or so And so Kit Williams Kit is a devilish cunning fellow you
may judge that from his breaking prison no less than five times so I say he
threatened to bring his master to trial at the size all over again and so
frightened him and got money from him at divers times Till at last one squire
Forester a relation of tother found it all out And he made the hell of a
rumpus and sent away Kit to prison in a twinky and I believe he would have
been hanged for when two squires lay their heads together they do not much
matter law you know or else they twist the law to their own ends I cannot
exactly say which but it is much at one when the poor fellows breath is out
of his body
Though this story was very circumstantially told and with a sufficient
detail of particulars it did not pass unquestioned Each man maintained the
justness of his own statement and the dispute was long and obstinately pursued
Historians and commentators at length withdrew together The terrors with which
I was seized when this conversation began were extreme I stole a sidelong
glance to one quarter and another to observe if any mans attention were turned
upon me I trembled as if in an ague fit and at first felt continual impulses
to quit the house and take to my heels I drew closer in my corner held aside
my head and seemed from time to time to undergo a total revolution of the
animal economy
At length the tide of ideas turned Perceiving they paid no attention to me
the recollection of the full security my disguise afforded recurred strongly to
my thoughts and I began inwardly to exult though I did not venture to obtrude
myself to examination By degrees I began to be amused at the absurdity of their
tales and the variety of the falsehoods I heard asserted around me My soul
seemed to expand I felt a pride in the self possession and lightness of heart
with which I could listen to the scene and I determined to prolong and heighten
the enjoyment Accordingly when they were withdrawn I addressed myself to our
hostess a buxom bluff good humoured widow and asked what sort of a man this
Kit Williams might be She replied that as she was informed he was as
handsome likely a lad as any in four counties round and that she loved him
for his cleverness by which he outwitted all the keepers they could set over
him and made his way through stone walls as if they were so many cobwebs I
observed that the country was so thoroughly alarmed that I did not think it
possible he should escape the pursuit that was set up after him This idea
excited her immediate indignation she said she hoped he was far enough away by
this time but if not she wished the curse of God might light on them that
betrayed so noble a fellow to an ignominious end Though she little thought
that the person of whom she spoke was so near her yet the sincere and generous
warmth with which she interested herself in my behalf gave me considerable
pleasure With this sensation to sweeten the fatigues of the day and the
calamities of my situation I retired from the kitchen to a neighbouring barn
laid myself down upon some straw and fell into a profound sleep
The next day about noon as I was pursuing my journey I was overtaken by two
men on horse back who stopped me to enquire respecting a person that they
supposed might have passed along that road As they proceeded in their
description I perceived with astonishment and terror that I was myself the
person to whom their questions related They entered into a tolerably accurate
detail of the various characteristics by which my person might best be
distinguished They said they had good reason to believe that I had been seen
at a place in that county the very day before While they were speaking a third
person who had fallen behind came up and my alarm was greatly increased upon
seeing that this person was the servant of Mr Forester who had visited me in
prison about a fortnight before my escape My best resource in this crisis was
composure and apparent indifference It was fortunate for me that my disguise
was so complete that the eye of Mr Falkland itself could scarcely have
penetrated it I had been aware for some time before that this was a refuge
which events might make necessary and had endeavoured to arrange and methodise
my ideas upon the subject From my youth I had possessed a considerable facility
in the art of imitation and when I quitted my retreat in the habitation of Mr
Raymond I adopted along with my beggars attire a peculiar slouching and
clownish gait to be used whenever there should appear the least chance of my
being observed together with an Irish brogue which I had had an opportunity of
studying in my prison Such are the miserable expedients and so great the
studied artifice which man who never deserves the name of manhood but in
proportion as he is erect and independent may find it necessary to employ for
the purpose of eluding the inexorable animosity and unfeeling tyranny of his
fellow man I had made use of this brogue though I have not thought it
necessary to write it down in my narrative in the conversation of the village
alehouse Mr Foresters servant as he came up observed that his companions were
engaged in conversation with me and guessing at the subject asked whether
they had gained any intelligence He added to the information at which they had
already hinted that a resolution was taken to spare neither diligence nor
expence for my discovery and apprehension and that they were satisfied that if
I were above ground and in the kingdom it would be impossible for me to escape
them
Every new incident that had occurred to me thus tended to impress upon my
mind the extreme danger to which I was exposed I could almost have imagined
that I was the sole subject of general attention and that the whole world was
in arms to exterminate me The very idea tingled through every fibre of my
frame But terrible as it appeared to my imagination it did but give new
energy to my purpose and I determined that I would not voluntarily resign the
field that is literally speaking my neck to the cord of the executioner
notwithstanding the greatest superiority in my assailants But the incidents
which had befallen me though they did not change my purpose induced me to
examine over again the means by which it might be effected The consequence of
this revisal was to determine me to bend my course to the nearest sea port on
the west side of the island and transport myself to Ireland I cannot now tell
what it was that inclined me to prefer this scheme to that which I had
originally formed Perhaps the latter which had been for some time present to
my imagination for that reason appeared the more obvious of the two and I
found an appearance of complexity which the mind did not stay to explain in
substituting the other in its stead
I arrived without farther impediment at the place from which I intended to
sail enquired for a vessel which I found ready to put to sea in a few hours
and agreed with the captain for my passage Ireland had to me the disadvantage
of being a dependency of the British government and therefore a place of less
security than most other countries which are divided from it by the ocean To
judge from the diligence with which I seemed to be pursued in England it was
not improbable that the zeal of my persecutors might follow me to the other side
of the channel It was however sufficiently agreeable to my mind that I was upon
the point of being removed one step farther from the danger which was so
grievous to my imagination
Could there be any peril in the short interval that was to elapse before the
vessel was to weigh anchor and quit the English shore Probably not A very
short time had intervened between my determination for the sea and my arrival at
this place and if any new alarm had been given to my persecutors it proceeded
from the old woman a very few days before I hoped I had anticipated their
diligence Meanwhile that I might neglect no reasonable precaution I went
instantly on board resolved that I would not unnecessarily by walking the
streets of the town expose myself to any untoward accident This was the first
time I had upon any occasion taken leave of my native country
Chapter VI
The time was now nearly elapsed that was prescribed for our stay and orders for
weighing anchor were every moment expected when we were hailed by a boat from
the shore with two other men in it beside those that rowed They entered our
vessel in an instant They were officers of justice The passengers five
persons beside myself were ordered upon deck for examination I was
inexpressibly disturbed at the occurrence of such a circumstance in so
unseasonable a moment I took it for granted that it was of me that they were in
search Was it possible that by any unaccountable accident they should have got
an intimation of my disguise It was infinitely more distressing to encounter
them upon this narrow stage and under these pointed circumstances than as I
had before encountered my pursuers under the appearance of an indifferent
person My recollection however did not forsake me I confided in my conscious
disguise and my Irish brogue as a rock of dependence against all accidents
No sooner did we appear upon deck than to my great consternation I could
observe the attention of our guests principally turned upon me They asked a few
frivolous questions of such of my fellow passengers as happened to be nearest to
them and then turning to me enquired my name who I was whence I came and
what had brought me there I had scarcely opened my mouth to reply when with
one consent they laid hold of me said I was their prisoner and declared that
my accent together with the correspondence of my person would be sufficient to
convict me before any court in England I was hurried out of the vessel into the
boat in which they came and seated between them as if by way of precaution
lest I should spring overboard and by any means escape them
I now took it for granted that I was once more in the power of Mr Falkland
and the idea was insupportably mortifying and oppressive to my imagination
Escape from his pursuit freedom from his tyranny were objects upon which my
whole soul was bent could no human ingenuity and exertion effect them Did his
power reach through all space and his eye penetrate every concealment Was he
like that mysterious being to protect us from whose fierce revenge mountains
and hills we are told might fall on us in vain No idea is more heartsickening
and tremendous than this But in my case it was not a subject of reasoning or of
faith I could derive no comfort either directly from the unbelief which upon
religious subjects some men avow to their own minds or secretly from the
remoteness and incomprehensibility of the conception; it was an affair of sense
I felt the fangs of the tyger striking deep into my heart
But though this impression was at first exceedingly strong and accompanied
with its usual attendants of dejection and pusillanimity my mind soon began as
it were mechanically to turn upon the consideration of the distance between
this sea port and my county prison and the various opportunities of escape that
might offer themselves in the interval My first duty was to avoid betraying
myself more than it might afterwards appear I was betrayed already It was
possible that though apprehended my apprehension might have been determined on
upon some slight score and that by my dexterity I might render my dismission as
sudden as my arrest had been It was even possible that I had been seized
through a mistake and that the present measure might have no connection with
Mr Falklands affair Upon every supposition it was my business to gain
information In my passage from the ship to the town I did not utter a word My
conductors commented on my sulkiness but remarked that it would avail me
nothing I should infallibly swing as it was never known that any body got off
who was tried for robbing his majestys mail It is difficult to conceive the
lightness of heart which was communicated to me by these words I persisted
however in the silence I had meditated From the rest of their conversation
which was sufficiently voluble I learned that the mail from Edinburgh to London
had been robbed about ten days before by two Irishmen that one of them was
already secured and that I was taken up upon suspicion of being the other They
had a description of his person which though as I afterwards found it
disagreed from mine in several material articles appeared to them to tally to
the minutest tittle The intelligence that the whole proceeding against me was
founded in a mistake took an oppressive load from my mind I believed that I
should immediately be able to establish my innocence to the satisfaction of any
magistrate in the kingdom and though crossed in my plans and thwarted in my
design of quitting the island even after I was already at sea this was but a
trifling inconvenience compared with what I had had but too much reason to fear
As soon as we came ashore I was conducted to the house of a justice of
peace a man who had formerly been the captain of a collier but who having
been successful in the world had quitted this wandering life and for some
years had had the honour to represent his majestys person We were detained for
some time in a sort of antiroom waiting his reverences leisure The persons
by whom I had been taken up were experienced in their trade and insisted upon
employing this interval in searching me in presence of two of his worships
servants They found upon me fifteen guineas and some silver They required me
to strip myself perfectly naked that they might examine whether I had bank
notes concealed any where about my person They took up the detached parcels of
my miserable attire as I threw it from me and felt them one by one to discover
whether the articles of which they were in search might by any device be sewn up
in them To all this I submitted without murmuring It might probably come to
the same thing at last and summary justice was sufficiently coincident with my
views my principal object being to get as soon as possible out of the clutches
of the respectable persons who now had me in custody
This operation was scarcely completed before we were directed to be ushered
into his worships apartment My accusers opened the charge and told him that
they had been ordered to this town upon an intimation that one of the persons
who robbed the Edinburgh mail was to be found here and that they had taken me
on board a vessel which was by this time under sail for Ireland Well says his
worship that is your story now let us hear what account the gentleman gives of
himself What is your name ha sirrah and from what part of Tipperary are you
pleased to come I had already taken my determination upon this article and
the moment I learned the particulars of the charge against me resolved for the
present at least to lay aside my Irish accent and speak my native tongue This
I had done in the very few words I had spoken to my conductors in the antiroom
they stared at the metamorphosis but they had gone too far for it to be
possible they should retract in consistence with their honour I now told the
justice that I was no Irishman nor had ever been in that country I was a
native of England This occasioned a consulting of the deposition in which my
person was supposed to be described and which my conductors had brought along
with them for their direction To be sure that required that the offender should
be an Irishman
Observing his worship hesitate I thought this was the time to push the
matter a little farther I referred to the paper and showed him that the
description neither tallied as to height nor complexion But then it did as to
years and the colour of the hair and it was not this gentlemans habit as he
informed me to squabble about trifles or to let a mans neck out of the halter
for a pretended flaw of a few inches in his stature If a man were too short he
said there was no remedy like a little stretching The miscalculation in my
case happened to be the opposite way but his reverence did not think proper to
lose his jest Upon the whole he was somewhat at a loss how to proceed
My conductors observed this and began to tremble for the reward which two
hours ago they thought as good as in their own pocket To retain me in custody
they judged to be a safe speculation if it turned out a mistake at last they
felt little apprehension of a suit for false imprisonment from a poor man
accoutred as I was in rags They therefore urged his worship to comply with
their views They told him that to be sure the evidence against me did not
prove so strong as for their part they heartily wished it had but that there
were a number of suspicious circumstances respecting me When I was brought up
to them upon the deck of the vessel I spoke as fine an Irish brogue as one
shall hear on a summers day and now all at once there was not the least
particle of it left In searching me they had found upon me fifteen guineas how
should a poor beggar lad such as I appeared come honestly by fifteen guineas
Besides when they had stripped me naked though my dress was so shabby my skin
had all the sleekness of a gentleman In fine for what purpose could a poor
beggar who had never been in Ireland in his life want to transport himself to
that country It was as clear as the sun that I was no better than I should be
This reasoning together with some significant winks and gestures between the
justice and the plaintiffs brought him over to their way of thinking He said
I must go to Warwick where it seems the other robber was at present in custody
and be confronted with him and if then every thing appeared fair and
satisfactory I should be discharged
No intelligence could be more terrible than that which was contained in
these words That I who had found the whole country in arms against me who was
exposed to a pursuit so peculiarly vigilant and penetrating should now be
dragged to the very centre of the kingdom without power of accommodating myself
to circumstances and under the immediate custody of the officers of justice
seemed to my ears almost the same thing as if they had pronounced upon me a
sentence of death I strenuously urged the injustice of this proceeding I
observed to the magistrate that it was impossible I should be the person at whom
the description pointed It required an Irishman I was no Irishman It
described a person shorter than I a circumstance of all others the least
capable of being counterfeited There was not the slightest reason for detaining
me in custody I had been already disappointed of my voyage and lost the money I
had paid down through the officiousness of these gentlemen in apprehending me I
assured his worship that every delay under my circumstances was of the utmost
importance to me It was impossible to devise a greater injury to be inflicted
on me than the proposal that instead of being permitted to proceed upon my
voyage I should be sent under arrest into the heart of the kingdom
My remonstrances were in vain The justice was by no means inclined to
digest the being expostulated with in this manner by a person in the habiliments
of a beggar In the midst of my address he would have silenced me for my
impertinence but that I spoke with an earnestness with which he was wholly
unable to contend When I had finished he told me that it was all to no
purpose and that it might have been better for me if I had shown myself less
insolent It was clear that I was a vagabond and a suspicious person The more
earnest I showed myself to get off the more reason there was he should keep me
fast Perhaps after all I should turn out to be the felon in question But if I
was not that he had no doubt I was worse a poacher or for what he knew a
murderer He had a kind of a notion that he had seen my face before about some
such affair out of all doubt I was an old offender He had it in his choice to
send me to hard labour as a vagrant upon the strength of my appearance and the
contradictions in my story or to order me to Warwick and out of the
spontaneous goodness of his disposition he chose the milder side of the
alternative He could assure me I should not slip through his fingers It was of
more benefit to his majestys government to hang one such fellow as he suspected
me to be than out of mistaken tenderness to concern oneself for the good of all
the beggars in the nation
Finding it was impossible to work in the way I desired on a man so fully
impressed with his own dignity and importance and my utter insignificance I
claimed that at least the money taken from my person should be restored to me
This was granted His worship perhaps suspected that he had stretched a point in
what he had already done and was therefore the less unwilling to relax in this
incidental circumstance My conductors did not oppose themselves to this
indulgence for a reason that will appear in the sequel The justice however
enlarged upon his clemency in this proceeding He did not know whether he was
not exceeding the spirit of his commission in complying with my demand So much
money in my possession could not be honestly come by But it was his temper to
soften as far as could be done with propriety the strict letter of the law
There were cogent reasons why the gentlemen who had originally taken me into
custody chose that I should continue in their custody when my examination was
over Every man is in his different mode susceptible to a sense of honour and
they did not choose to encounter the disgrace that would accrue to them if
justice had been done Every man is in some degree influenced by the love of
power and they were willing I should owe any benefit I received to their
sovereign grace and benignity and not to the mere reason of the case It was
not however an unsubstantial honour and barren power that formed the objects of
their pursuit no their views were deeper than that In a word though they
chose that I should retire from the seat of justice as I had come before it a
prisoner yet the tenour of my examination had obliged them in spite of
themselves to suspect that I was innocent of the charge they alleged against
me Apprehensive therefore that the hundred guineas which had been offered as a
reward for taking the robber was completely out of the question in the present
business they were contented to strike at smaller game Having conducted me to
an inn and given directions respecting a vehicle for the journey they took me
aside while one of them addressed me in the following manner
You see my lad how the case stands heigh for Warwick is the word and
when we are got there what may happen then I will not pretend for to say
Whether you are innocent or no is no business of mine but you are not such a
chicken as to suppose if so be as you are innocent that that will make your
game altogether sure You say your business calls you another way and as how
you are in haste I scorns to cross any man in his concerns if I can help it
If therefore you will give us them there fifteen shiners why snug is the word
They are of no use to you a beggar you know is always at home For the matter
of that we could have had them in the way of business as you saw at the
justices But I am a man of principle I loves to do things above board and
scorns to extort a shilling from any man
He who is tinctured with principles of moral discrimination is apt upon
occasion to be run away with by his feelings in that respect and to forget the
immediate interest of the moment I confess that the first sentiment excited in
my mind by this overture was that of indignation I was irresistibly impelled to
give utterance to this feeling and postpone for a moment the consideration of
the future I replied with the severity which so base a proceeding appeared to
deserve My bearleaders were considerably surprised with my firmness but
seemed to think it beneath them to contest with me the principles I delivered
He who had made the overture contented himself with replying Well well my
lad do as you will you are not the first man that has been hanged rather than
part with a few guineas His words did not pass unheeded by me They were
strikingly applicable to my situation and I was determined not to suffer the
occasion to escape me unimproved
The pride of these gentlemen however was too great to admit of farther
parley for the present They left me abruptly having first ordered an old man
the father of the landlady to stay in the room with me while they were absent
The old man they ordered for security to lock the door and put the key in his
pocket at the same time mentioning below stairs the station in which they had
left me that the people of the house might have an eye upon what went forward
and not suffer me to escape What was the intention of this manoeuvre I am
unable certainly to pronounce Probably it was a sort of compromise between
their pride and their avarice being desirous for some reason or other to drop
me as soon as convenient and therefore determining to wait the result of my
private meditations on the proposal they had made
Chapter VII
They were no sooner withdrawn than I cast my eye upon the old man and found
something extremely venerable and interesting in his appearance His form was
above the middle size It indicated that his strength had once been
considerable nor was it at this time by any means annihilated His hair was in
considerable quantity and was as white as the drifted snow His complexion was
healthful and ruddy at the same time that his face was furrowed with wrinkles
In his eye there was remarkable vivacity and his whole countenance was strongly
expressive of good nature The boorishness of his rank in society was lost in
the cultivation his mind had derived from habits of sensibility and benevolence
The view of his figure immediately introduced a train of ideas into my mind
respecting the advantage to be drawn from the presence of such a person The
attempt to take any step without his consent was hopeless for though I should
succeed with regard to him he could easily give the alarm to other persons who
would no doubt be within call Add to which I could scarcely have prevailed on
myself to offer any offence to a person whose first appearance so strongly
engaged my affection and esteem In reality my thoughts were turned into a
different channel I was impressed with an ardent wish to be able to call this
man my benefactor Pursued by a train of ill fortune I could no longer consider
myself as a member of society I was a solitary being cut off from the
expectation of sympathy kindness and the good will of mankind I was strongly
impelled by the situation in which the present moment placed me to indulge in a
luxury which my destiny seemed to have denied I could not conceive of the
smallest comparison between the idea of deriving my liberty from the spontaneous
kindness of a worthy and excellent mind and that of being indebted for it to
the selfishness and baseness of the worst members of society It was thus that I
allowed myself in the wantonness of refinement even in the midst of destruction
Guided by these sentiments I requested his attention to the circumstances
by which I had been brought into my present situation He immediately signified
his assent and said he would chearfully listen to any thing I thought proper to
communicate I told him the persons who had just left me in charge with him had
come to this town for the purpose of apprehending some person who had been
guilty of robbing the mail that they had chosen to take me up under this
warrant and had conducted me before a justice of the peace that they had soon
detected their mistake the person in question being an Irishman and differing
from me both in country and stature but that by collusion between them and the
justice they were permitted to retain me in custody and pretended to undertake
to conduct me to Warwick to confront me with my accomplice that in searching me
at the justices they had found a sum of money in my possession which excited
their cupidity and that they had just been proposing to me to give me my
liberty upon condition of my surrendering this sum into their hands Under these
circumstances I requested him to consider whether he would wish to render
himself the instrument of their extortion I put myself into his hands and
solemnly averred the truth of the facts I had just stated If he would assist me
in my escape it could have no other effect than to disappoint the base passions
of my conductors I would upon no account expose him to any real inconvenience
but I was well assured that the same generosity that prompted him to a good
deed would enable him effectually to vindicate it when done and that those who
detained me when they had lost sight of their prey would feel covered with
confusion and not dare to take another step in the affair
The old man listened to what I related with curiosity and interest He said
that he had always felt an abhorrence to the sort of people who had me in their
hands that he had an aversion to the task they had just imposed upon him but
that he could not refuse some little disagreeable offices to oblige his daughter
and son in law He had no doubt from my countenance and manner of the truth of
what I had asserted to him It was an extraordinary request I had made and he
did not know what had induced me to think him the sort of person to whom with
any prospect of success it might be made In reality however his habits of
thinking were uncommon and he felt more than half inclined to act as I desired
One thing at least he would ask of me in return which was to be faithfully
informed in some degree respecting the person he was desired to oblige What was
my name
The question came upon me unprepared But whatever might be the
consequence I could not bear to deceive the person by whom it was put and in
the circumstances under which it was put The practice of perpetual falshood is
too painful a task I replied that my name was Williams
He paused His eye was fixed upon me I saw his complexion alter at the
repetition of that word He proceeded with visible anxiety
My Christian name
Caleb
Good God it could not be He conjured me by every thing that was sacred
to answer him faithfully to one question more I was not no it was
impossible the person who had formerly lived servant with Mr Falkland of
I told him that whatever might be the meaning of his question I would
answer him truly I was the individual he mentioned
As I uttered these words the old man rose from his seat He was sorry that
fortune had been so unpropitious to him as for him ever to have set eyes upon
me I was a monster with whom the very earth groaned
I intreated that he would suffer me to explain this new misapprehension as
he had done in the former instance I had no doubt that I should do it equally
to his satisfaction
No no no he would upon no consideration admit that his ears should suffer
such contamination This case and the other were very different There was no
criminal upon the face of the earth no murderer half so detestable as the
person who could prevail upon himself to utter the charges I had done by way of
recrimination against so generous a master The old man was in a perfect agony
with the recollection
At length he calmed himself enough to say he should never cease to grieve
that he had held a moments parley with me He did not know what was the conduct
that severe justice required of him but since he had come into the knowledge
of who I was only by my own confession it was irreconcilably repugnant to his
feelings to make use of that knowledge to my injury Here therefore all relation
between us ceased as indeed it would be an abuse of words to consider me in the
light of a human creature He would do me no mischief but on the other hand he
would not for the world be in any way assisting and abetting me
I was inexpressibly affected at the abhorrence this good and benevolent
creature expressed against me I could not be silent I endeavoured once and
again to prevail upon him to hear me But his determination was unalterable Our
contest lasted for some time and he at length terminated it by ringing the
bell and calling up the waiter A very little while after this my conductors
entered and the other persons withdrew
It was a part of the singularity of my fate that it hurried me from one
species of anxiety and distress to another too rapidly to suffer any one of
them to sink deeply into my mind I am apt to believe in the retrospect that
half the calamities I was destined to endure would infallibly have overwhelmed
and destroyed me But as it was I had no leisure to chew the cud upon
misfortunes as they befel me but was under the necessity of forgetting them to
guard against peril that the next moment seemed ready to crush me The behaviour
of this incomparable and amiable old man cut me to the heart It was a dreadful
prognostic for all my future life But as I have just observed my conductors
entered and another subject called imperiously upon my attention I could have
been content mortified as I was at this instant to have been shut up in some
impenetrable solitude and to have wrapped myself up in inconsolable misery But
the grief I endured had not such power over me as that I could be content to
risk the being led to the gallows The love of life and still more a hatred
against oppression steeled my heart against that species of inertness In the
scene that had just passed I had indulged as I have said in a wantonness and
luxury of refinement It was time that that indulgence should be brought to a
period It was dangerous to trifle any more upon the brink of fate and
penetrated as I was with sadness by the result of my last attempt I was little
disposed to unnecessary circumambulation I was exactly in the temper in which
the gentlemen who had me in their power would have desired to find me
Accordingly we entered immediately upon business and after some chaffering
they agreed to accept eleven guineas as the price of my freedom To preserve
however the chariness of their reputation they insisted upon conducting me with
them for a few miles on the outside of a stage coach They then pretended that
the road they had to travel lay in a crosscountry direction and having
quitted the vehicle they suffered me almost as soon as it was out of sight to
shake off this troublesome association and follow my own inclinations It may
be worth remarking by the way that these fellows outwitted themselves at their
own trade They had laid hold of me at first under the idea of a prize of a
hundred guineas they had since been glad to accept a composition of eleven
but if they had retained me a little longer in their possession they would
have found the possibility of acquiring the sum that had originally excited
their pursuit upon a different score
The mischances that had befallen me in my late attempt to escape from my
pursuers by sea deterred me from the thought of repeating that experiment I
therefore once more returned to the suggestion of hiding myself at least for
the present amidst the crowds of the metropolis Meanwhile I by no means
thought proper to venture by the direct route and the less so as that was the
course which would be steered by my late conductors but took my road along the
borders of Wales The only incident worth relating in this place occurred in an
attempt to cross the Severn in a particular point The mode was by a ferry but
by some strange inadvertence I lost my way so completely as to be wholly unable
that night to reach the ferry and arrive at the town which I had destined for
my repose
This may seem a petty disappointment in the midst of the overwhelming
considerations that might have been expected to engross every thought of my
mind Yet it was borne by me with singular impatience I was that day uncommonly
fatigued Previously to the time that I mistook or at least was aware of the
mistake of the road the sky had become black and lowering and soon after the
clouds burst down in sheets of rain I was in the midst of a heath without a
tree or covering of any sort to shelter me I was thoroughly drenched in a
moment I pushed on with a sort of sullen determination By and by the rain gave
place to a storm of hail The hailstones were large and frequent I was ill
defended by the miserable covering I wore and they seemed to cut me in a
thousand directions The hailstorm subsided and was again succeeded by a heavy
rain By this time it was that I had perceived I was wholly out of my road I
could discover neither man nor beast nor habitation of any kind I walked on
measuring at every turn the path it would be proper to pursue but in no
instance finding a sufficient reason to reject one or prefer another My mind
was bursting with depression and anguish I muttered imprecations and murmuring
as I passed along I was full of loathing and abhorrence of life and all that
life carries in its train After wandering without any certain direction for two
hours I was overtaken by the night The scene was nearly pathless and it was
vain to think of proceeding any further
Here I was without comfort without shelter and without food There was not
a particle of my covering that was not as wet as if it had been fished from the
bottom of the ocean My teeth chattered I trembled in every limb My heart
burned with universal fury At one moment I stumbled and fell over some unseen
obstacle At another I was turned back by an impediment I could not overcome
There was no strict connection between these casual inconveniencies and the
persecution under which I laboured But my distempered thoughts confounded them
together I cursed the whole system of human existence I said Here I am an
outcast destined to perish with hunger and cold All men desert me All men
hate me I am driven with mortal threats from the sources of comfort and
existence Accursed world that hates without a cause that overwhelms innocence
with calamities which ought to be spared even to guilt Accursed world dead to
every manly sympathy with eyes of horn and hearts of steel Why do I consent
to live any longer Why do I seek to drag on an existence which if protracted
must be protracted amidst the lairs of these human tygers
This paroxysm at length exhausted itself Presently after I discovered a
solitary shed which I was contented to resort to for shelter In a corner of the
shed I found some clean straw I threw off my rags placed them in a situation
where they would best be dried and buried myself amidst this friendly warmth
Here I forgot by degrees the anguish that had racked me A wholsome shed and
fresh straw may seem but scanty benefits but they offered themselves when least
expected and my whole heart was lightened by the encounter Through fatigue of
mind and body it happened in this instance though in general my repose was
remarkably short that I slept till almost noon of the next day When I rose I
found that I was at no great distance from the ferry which I crossed and
entered the town where I intended to have rested the preceding night
It was market day As I passed near the cross I observed two people look at
me with great earnestness after which one of them exclaimed I will be damned
if I do not think that this is the very fellow those men were enquiring for who
set off an hour ago by the coach for I was extremely alarmed at this
information and quickening my pace turned sharp down a narrow lane The
moment I was out of sight I ran with all the speed I could exert and did not
think myself safe till I was several miles distant from the place where this
information had reached my ears I have always believed that the men to whom it
related were the very persons who had apprehended me on board the ship in which
I had embarked for Ireland that by some accident they had met with the
description of my person as published on the part of Mr Falkland and that from
putting together the circumstances they had been led to believe that this was
the very individual who had lately been in their custody Indeed it was a piece
of infatuation in me for which I am now unable to account that after the
various indications which had occurred in that affair proving to them that I was
a man in very critical and peculiar circumstances I should have persisted in
wearing the same disguise without the smallest alteration My escape in the
present case was eminently fortunate If I had not lost my way in consequence of
the hailstorm of the preceding night or if I had not so greatly overslept
myself this very morning I must almost infallibly have fallen into the hands of
these infernal blood hunters
The town they had chosen for their next stage the name of which I had thus
caught in the marketplace was the town to which but for this intimation I
should have immediately proceeded As it was I determined to take a road as
wide of it as possible In the first place to which I came in which it was
practicable to do so I bought a great coat which I drew over my beggars weeds
and a better hat The hat I slouched over my face and covered one of my eyes
with a green silk shade The handkerchief which I had hitherto worn about my
head I now tied about the lower part of my visage so as to cover my mouth By
degrees I discarded every part of my former dress and wore for my upper garment
a kind of carmans frock which being of the better sort made me look like the
son of a reputable farmer of the lower class Thus equipped I proceeded on my
journey and after a thousand alarms precautions and circuitous deviations
from the direct path arrived safely in London
Chapter VIII
Here then was the termination of an immense series of labours upon which no man
could have looked back without astonishment or forward without a sentiment
bordering on despair It was at a price which defies estimation that I had
purchased this resting place whether we consider the efforts it had cost me to
escape from the walls of my prison or the dangers and anxieties to which I had
been a prey from that hour to the present
But why do I call the point at which I was now arrived a resting place
Alas it was diametrically the reverse It was my first and immediate business
to review all the projects of disguise I had hitherto conceived to derive every
improvement I could invent from the practice to which I had been subjected and
to manufacture a veil of concealment more impenetrable than ever This was an
effort to which I could see no end In ordinary cases the hue and cry after a
supposed offender is a matter of temporary operation but ordinary cases formed
no standard for the colossal intelligence of Mr Falkland For the same reason
London which appears an inexhaustible reservoir of concealment to the majority
of mankind brought no such consolatory sentiment to my mind Whether life were
worth accepting on such terms I cannot pronounce I only know that I persisted
in this exertion of my faculties through a sort of parental love that men are
accustomed to entertain for their intellectual offspring the more thought I had
expended in rearing it to its present perfection the less did I find myself
disposed to abandon it Another motive not less strenuously exciting me to
perseverance was the evergrowing repugnance I felt to injustice and arbitrary
power
The first evening of my arrival in town I slept at an obscure inn in the
borough of Southwark choosing that side of the metropolis on account of its
lying entirely wide of the part of England from which I came I entered the inn
in the evening in my countrymans frock and having paid for my lodging before
I went to bed equipped myself next morning as differently as my wardrobe would
allow and left the house before day The frock I made up into a small packet
and having carried it to a distance as great as I thought necessary I dropped
it in the corner of an alley through which I passed My next care was to furnish
myself with another suit of apparel totally different from any to which I had
hitherto had recourse The exterior which I was now induced to assume was that
of a Jew One of the gang of thieves upon forest had been of that race and
by the talent of mimicry which I have already stated myself to possess I could
copy their pronunciation of the English language sufficiently to answer such
occasions as were likely to present themselves One of the preliminaries I now
adopted was to repair to a quarter of the town in which great numbers of this
people reside and study their complexion and countenance Having made such
provision as my prudence suggested to me I retired for that night to an inn in
the midway between Mile End and Wapping Here I accoutred myself in my new
habiliments and having employed the same precautions as before retired from
my lodging at a time least exposed to observation It is unnecessary to describe
the particulars of my new equipage Suffice it to say that one of my cares was
to discolour my complexion and give it the dun and sallow hue which is in most
instances characteristic of the tribe to which I assumed to belong and that
when my metamorphosis was finished I could not upon the strictest examination
conceive that any one could have traced out the person of Caleb Williams in
this new disguise
Thus far advanced in the execution of my project I deemed it advisable to
procure a lodging and change my late wandering life for a stationary one In
this lodging I constantly secluded myself from the rising to the setting of the
sun the periods I allowed for exercise and air were few and those few by
night I was even cautious of so much as approaching the window of my apartment
though upon the attic story a principle I laid down to myself was not wantonly
and unnecessarily to expose myself to risk however slight that risk might
appear
Here let me pause for a moment to bring before the reader in the way in
which it was impressed upon my mind the nature of my situation I was born
free I was born healthy vigorous and active complete in all the lineaments
and members of a human body I was not born indeed to the possession of
hereditary wealth but I had a better inheritance an enterprising mind an
inquisitive spirit a liberal ambition In a word I accepted my lot with
willingness and content I did not fear but I should make my cause good in the
lists of existence I was satisfied to aim at small things I was pleased to
play at first for a slender stake I was more willing to grow than to descend
in my individual significance
The free spirit and the firm heart with which I commenced one circumstance
was sufficient to blast I was ignorant of the power which the institutions of
society give to one man over others I had fallen unwarily into the hands of a
person who held it as his fondest wish to oppress and destroy me
I found myself subjected undeservedly on my part to all the disadvantages
which mankind if they reflected upon them would hesitate to impose on
acknowledged guilt In every human countenance I feared to find the countenance
of an enemy I shrunk from the vigilance of every human eye I dared not open my
heart to the best affections of our nature I was shut up a deserted solitary
wretch in the midst of my species I dared not look for the consolations of
friendship but instead of seeking to identify myself with the joys and sorrows
of others and exchanging the delicious gifts of confidence and sympathy was
compelled to centre my thoughts and my vigilance in myself My life was all a
lie I had a counterfeit character to support I had counterfeit manners to
assume My gait my gestures my accents were all of them to be studied I was
not free to indulge no not one honest sally of the soul Attended with these
disadvantages I was to procure myself a subsistence a subsistence to be
acquired with infinite precautions and to be consumed without the hope of
enjoyment
This even this I was determined to endure to put my shoulder to the
burthen and support it with unshrinking firmness Let it not however be
supposed that I endured it without repining and abhorrence My time was
divided between the terrors of an animal that skulks from its pursuers the
obstinacy of unshrinking firmness and that elastic revulsion that from time to
time seems to shrivel the very hearts of the miserable If at one moment I
fiercely defied all the rigours of my fate at others and those of frequent
recurrence I sunk into helpless despondence I looked forward without hope
through the series of my existence tears of anguish rushed from my eyes my
courage became extinct and I cursed the conscious life that was reproduced with
every returning day
Why upon such occasions I was accustomed to exclaim why am I overwhelmed
with the load of existence Why are all these engines at work to torment me I
am no murderer yet if I were what worse could I be fated to suffer How vile
squalid and disgraceful is the state to which I am condemned This is not my
place in the roll of existence the place for which either my temper or my
understanding has prepared me To what purpose serve the restless aspirations of
my soul but to make me like a frighted bird beat myself in vain against the
inclosure of my cage Nature barbarous nature to me thou hast proved indeed
the worst of stepmothers endowed me with wishes insatiate and sunk me in
neverending degradation
I might have thought myself more secure if I had been in possession of
money upon which to subsist The necessity of earning for myself the means of
existence evidently tended to thwart the plan of secrecy to which I was
condemned Whatever labour I adopted or deemed myself qualified to discharge
it was first to be considered how I was to be provided with employment and
where I was to find an employer or purchaser for my commodities In the mean
time I had no alternative The little money with which I had escaped from the
blood hunters was almost wholly expended
After the minutest consideration I was able to bestow upon this question I
determined that literature should be the field of my first experiment I had
read of money being acquired in this way and of prices given by the speculators
in this sort of ware to its proper manufacturers My qualifications I estimated
at a slender valuation I was not without a conviction that experience and
practice must pave the way to excellent production But though of these I was
utterly destitute my propensities had always led me in this direction and my
early thirst of knowledge had conducted me to a more intimate acquaintance with
books than could perhaps have been expected under my circumstances If my
literary pretensions were slight the demand I intended to make upon them was
not great All I asked was a subsistence and I was persuaded few persons could
subsist upon slenderer means than myself I also considered this as a temporary
expedient and hoped that accident or time might hereafter place me in a less
precarious situation The reasons that principally determined my choice were
that this employment called upon me for the least preparation and could as I
thought be exercised with least observation
There was a solitary woman of middle age who tenanted a chamber in this
house upon the same floor with my own I had no sooner determined upon the
destination of my industry than I cast my eye upon her as the possible
instrument for disposing of my productions Excluded as I was from all
intercourse with my species in general I found pleasure in the occasional
exchange of a few words with this inoffensive and goodhumoured creature who
was already of an age to preclude scandal She lived upon a very small annuity
allowed her by a distant relation a woman of quality who possessed of
thousands herself had no other anxiety with respect to this person than that
she should not contaminate her alliance by the exertion of honest industry This
humble creature was of a uniformly chearful and active disposition unacquainted
alike with the cares of wealth and the pressure of misfortune Though her
pretensions were small and her information slender she was by no means
deficient in penetration She remarked the faults and follies of mankind with no
contemptible discernment but her temper was of so mild and forgiving a cast as
would have induced most persons to believe that she perceived nothing of the
matter Her heart overflowed with the milk of kindness She was sincere and
ardent in her attachments and never did she omit a service which she perceived
herself able to render to a human being
Had it not been for these qualifications of temper I should probably have
found that my appearance that of a deserted solitary lad of Jewish extraction
effectually precluded my demands upon her kindness But I speedily perceived
from her manner of receiving and returning civilities of an indifferent sort
that her heart was too noble to have its effusions checked by any base and
unworthy considerations Encouraged by these preliminaries I determined to
select her as my agent I found her willing and alert in the business I proposed
to her That I might anticipate occasions of suspicion I frankly told her that
for reasons which I wished to be excused from relating but which if related I
was sure would not deprive me of her good opinion I found it necessary for the
present to keep myself private With this statement she readily acquiesced and
told me that she had no desire for any farther information than I found it
expedient to give
My first productions were of the poetical kind After having finished two or
three I directed this generous creature to take them to the office of a
newspaper but they were rejected with contempt by the Aristarchus of that
place who having bestowed on them a superficial glance told her that such
matters were not in his way I cannot help mentioning in this place that the
countenance of Mrs Marney that was the name of my ambassadress was in all
cases a perfect indication of her success and rendered explanation by words
wholly unnecessary She interested herself so unreservedly in what she
undertook that she felt either miscarriage or good fortune much more
exquisitely than I did I had an unhesitating confidence in my own resources
and occupied as I was in meditations more interesting and more painful I
regarded these matters as altogether trivial
I quietly took the pieces back and laid them upon my table Upon revisal I
altered and transcribed one of them and joining it with two others dispatched
them together to the editor of a magazine He desired they might be left with
him till the day after tomorrow When that day came he told my friend they
should be inserted but Mrs Marney asking respecting the price he replied it
was their constant rule to give nothing for poetical compositions the
letterbox being always full of writings of that sort but if the gentleman
would try his hand in prose a short essay or a tale he would see what he could
do for him
With the requisition of my literary dictator I immediately complied I
attempted a paper in the style of Addisons Spectators which was accepted In a
short time I was upon an established footing in this quarter I however
distrusted my resources in the way of moral disquisition and soon turned my
thoughts to his other suggestion a tale His demands upon me were now frequent
and to facilitate my labour I bethought myself of the resource of translation I
had scarcely any convenience with respect to the procuring of books but as my
memory was retentive I frequently translated or modelled my narratives upon a
reading of some years before By a fatality for which I did not exactly know how
to account my thoughts frequently led me to the histories of celebrated
robbers and I retailed from time to time incidents and anecdotes of Cartouche
Gusman dAlfarache and other memorable worthies whose carreer was terminated
upon the gallows or the scaffold
In the mean time a retrospect to my own situation rendered a perseverance
even in this industry difficult to be maintained I often threw down my pen in
an extacy of despair Sometimes for whole days together I was incapable of
action and sunk into a sort of partial stupor too wretched to be described
Youth and health however enabled me from time to time to get the better of my
dejection and to rouse myself to something like a gaiety which if it had been
permanent might have made this interval of my story tolerable to my
reflections
Chapter IX
While I was thus endeavouring to occupy and provide for the intermediate period
till the violence of the pursuit after me might be abated a new source of
danger opened upon me of which I had no previous suspicion Gines the thief who
had been expelled from captain Raymonds gang had fluctuated during the last
years of his life between the two professions of a violator of the laws and a
retainer to their administration He had originally devoted himself to the
first and probably his initiation in the mysteries of thieving qualified him to
be peculiarly expert in the profession of a thieftaker a profession he had
adopted not from choice but necessity In this employment his reputation was
great though perhaps not equal to his merits for it happens here as in other
departments of human society that however the subalterns may furnish wisdom
and skill the principals exclusively possess the eclat He was exercising this
art in a very prosperous manner when it happened by some accident that one or
two of his atchievements previous to his having shaken off the dregs of
unlicensed depredation were in danger of becoming subjects of public attention
Having had repeated intimations of this he thought it prudent to decamp and it
was during this period of his retreat that he entered into the gang
Such was the history of this man antecedently to his being placed in the
situation in which I had first encountered him At the time of that encounter he
was a veteran of captain Raymonds gang for thieves being a short lived race
the character of veteran costs the less time in acquiring Upon his expulsion
from this community he returned once more to his lawful profession and by his
old comrades was received with congratulation as a lost sheep In the vulgar
classes of society no length of time is sufficient to expiate a crime but among
the honorable fraternity of thieftakers it is a rule never to bring one of
their own brethren to a reckoning when it can with any decency be avoided
Another rule observed by those who have passed through the same gradation as
Gines had done and which was adopted by Gines himself is always to reserve
such as have been the accomplices of their depredations to the last and on no
account to assail them without great necessity or powerful temptation For this
reason according to Giness system of tactics captain Raymond and his
confederates were as he would have termed it safe from his retaliation
But though Gines was in this sense of the term a man of strict honour my
case unfortunately did not fall within the laws of honour he acknowledged
Misfortune had overtaken me and I was on all sides without protection or
shelter The persecution to which I was exposed was founded upon the supposition
of my having committed felony to an immense amount But in this Gines had had no
participation he was careless whether the supposition were true or false and
hated me as much as if my innocence had been established beyond the reach of
suspicion The blood hunters who had taken me into custody at related as
usual among their fraternity a part of their adventure and told of the reason
which inclined them to suppose that the individual who had passed through their
custody was the very Caleb Williams for whose apprehension a reward had been
offered of a hundred guineas Gines whose acuteness was eminent in the way of
his profession by comparing facts and dates was induced to suspect in his own
mind that Caleb Williams was the person he had hustled and wounded upon
forest Against that person he entertained the bitterest aversion I had been
the innocent occasion of his being expelled with disgrace from captain Raymonds
gang and Gines as I afterwards understood was intimately persuaded that there
was no comparison between the liberal and manly profession of a robber from
which I had driven him and the sordid and mechanical occupation of a blood
hunter to which he was obliged to return He no sooner received the information
I have mentioned than he vowed revenge He determined to leave all other
objects and consecrate every faculty of his mind to the unkenneling me from my
hiding place The offered reward which his vanity made him consider as
assuredly his own appeared as the complete indemnification of his labour and
expence Thus I had to encounter the sagacity he possessed in the way of his
profession whetted and stimulated by a sentiment of vengeance in a mind that
knew no restraint from conscience or humanity
When I drew to myself a picture of my situation soon after having fixed on
my present abode I foolishly thought as the unhappy are accustomed to do that
my calamity would admit of no aggravation The aggravation which unknown to me
at this time occurred was the most fearful that any imagination could have
devised Nothing could have happened more critically hostile to my future peace
than my fatal encounter with Gines upon forest By this means as it now
appears I had fastened upon myself a second enemy of that singular and
dreadful sort that is determined never to dismiss its animosity as long as
life shall endure While Falkland was the hungry lion whose roarings astonished
and appalled me Gines was a noxious insect scarcely less formidable and
tremendous that hovered about my goings and perpetually menaced me with the
poison of his sting
The first step pursued by him in execution of his project was to set out
for the seaport town where I had formerly been apprehended From thence he
traced me to the banks of the Severn and from the banks of the Severn to
London It is scarcely necessary to observe that this is always practicable
provided the pursuer have motives strong enough to excite him to perseverance
unless the precautions of the fugitive be in the highest degree both judicious
in the conception and fortunate in the execution Gines indeed in the course of
his pursuit was often obliged to double his steps and like the harrier
whenever he was at a fault return to the place where he had last perceived the
scent of the animal whose death he had decreed He spared neither pains nor time
in the gratification of the passion which choice had made his ruling one
Upon my arrival in town he for a moment lost all trace of me London being a
place in which on account of the magnitude of its dimensions it might well be
supposed that an individual could remain hidden and unknown But no difficulty
could discourage this new adversary He went from inn to inn reasonably
supposing that there was no private house to which I could immediately repair
till he found by the description he gave and the recollections he excited
that I had slept for one night in the borough of Southwark But he could get no
farther information The people of the inn had no knowledge what had become of
me the next morning This however did but render him more eager in the pursuit
The describing me was now more difficult on account of the partial change of my
dress I had made the second day of my being in town But Gines at length
overcame the obstacle from that quarter Having traced me to my second inn he
was here furnished with a more copious information I had been a subject of
speculation for the leisure hours of some of the persons belonging to this inn
An old woman of a most curious and loquacious disposition who lived opposite to
it and who that morning rose early to her washing had espied me from her
window by the light of a large lamp which hung over the inn as I issued from
the gate She had but a very imperfect view of me but she thought there was
something Jewish in my appearance She was accustomed to hold a conference every
morning with the landlady of the inn some of the waiters and chambermaids
occasionally assisting at it In the course of the dialogue of this morning she
asked some questions about the Jew who had slept there the night before No Jew
had slept there The curiosity of the landlady was excited in her turn By the
time of the morning it could be no one but me It was very strange They
compared notes respecting my appearance and dress No two things could be more
dissimilar The JewChristian upon any dearth of subjects of intelligence
repeatedly furnished matter for their discourse
The information thus afforded to Gines appeared exceedingly material But
the performance did not for some time keep pace with the promise He could not
enter every private house into which lodgers were ever admitted in the same
manner that he had treated the inns He walked the streets and examined with a
curious and inquisitive eye the countenance of every Jew about my stature but
in vain He repaired to Dukes Place and the synagogues It was not here that in
reality he could calculate upon finding me but he resorted to these means in
despair and as a last hope He was more than once upon the point of giving up
the pursuit but he was recalled to it by an insatiable and restless appetite
for revenge
It was during this perturbed and fluctuating state of his mind that he
chanced to pay a visit to a brother of his who was the headworkman of a
printing office There was little intercourse between these two persons their
dispositions and habits of life being extremely dissimilar The printer was
industrious sober inclined to methodism and of a propensity to accumulation
He was extremely dissatisfied with the character and pursuits of his brother
and had made some ineffectual attempts to reclaim him But though they by no
means agreed in their habits of thinking they sometimes saw each other Gines
loved to boast of as many of his atchievements as he dared venture to mention
and his brother was one more hearer in addition to the set of his usual
associates The printer was amused with the blunt sagacity of remark and
novelty of incident that characterised Giness conversation He was secretly
pleased in spite of all his sober and churchgoing prejudices that he was
brother to a man of so much ingenuity and fortitude
After having listened for some time upon this occasion to the wonderful
stories which Gines in his rugged way condescended to tell the printer felt an
ambition to entertain his brother in his turn He began to retail some of my
stories of Cartouche and Gusman dAlfarache The attention of Gines was excited
His first emotion was wonder his second was envy and aversion Where did the
printer get these stories This question was answered I will tell you what
said the printer we none of us know what to make of the writer of these
articles He writes poetry and morality and history I am a printer and
corrector of the press and may pretend without vanity to be a tolerably good
judge of these matters he writes them all to my mind extremely fine and yet he
is no more than a Jew To my honest printer this seemed as strange as if they
had been written by a Cherokee chieftain at the falls of the Missisippi
A Jew How do you know Did you ever see him
No the matter is always brought to us by a woman But my master hates all
mysteries he likes to see his authors themselves So he plagues and plagues the
old woman but he can never get any thing out of her except that one day she
happened to drop that the young gentleman was a Jew
A Jew a young gentleman a person who did every thing by proxy and made a
secret of all his motions Here was abundant matter for the speculations and
suspicions of Gines He was confirmed in them without adverting to the process
of his own mind by the subject of my lucubrations men who died by the hands of
the executioner He said little more to his brother except asking as if
casually what sort of an old woman this was of what age she might be and
whether she often brought him materials of this kind and soon after took
occasion to leave him
It was with vast pleasure that Gines had listened to this unhoped for
information Having collected from his brother sufficient hints relative to the
person and appearance of Mrs Marney and understanding that he expected to
receive something from me the next day Gines took his stand in the street early
that he might not risk miscarriage by negligence He waited several hours but
not without success Mrs Marney came he watched her into the house and after
about twenty minutes delay saw her return He dogged her from street to street
observed her finally enter the door of a private house and congratulated
himself upon having at length arrived at the consummation of his labours
The house she entered was not her own habitation By a sort of miraculous
accident she had observed Gines following her in the street As she went home
she saw a woman who had fallen down in a fainting fit Moved by the compassion
that was ever alive in her she approached her in order to render her
assistance Presently a crowd collected round them Mrs Marney having done
what she was able once more proceeded homewards Observing the crowd round her
the idea of pickpockets occurred to her mind she put her hands to her sides
and at the same time looked round upon the populace She had left the circle
somewhat abruptly and Gines who had been obliged to come nearer lest he should
lose her in the confusion was at that moment standing exactly oppositeto her
His visage was of the most extraordinary kind habit had written the characters
of malignant cunning and dauntless effrontery in every line of his face and
Mrs Marney who was neither philosopher nor physiognomist was nevertheless
struck This good woman like most persons of her notable character had a
peculiar way of going home not through the open streets but by narrow lanes
and alleys with intricate insertions and sudden turnings In one of these by
some accident she once again caught a glance of her pursuer This circumstance
together with the singularity of his appearance awakened her conjectures Could
he be following her It was the middle of the day and she could have no fears
for herself But could this circumstance have any reference to me She
recollected the precautions and secrecy I practised and had no doubt that I had
reasons for what I did She recollected that she had always been upon her guard
respecting me but had she been sufficiently so She thought that if she should
be the means of any mischief to me she should be miserable for ever She
determined therefore by way of precaution in case of the worst to call at a
friends house and send me word of what had occurred Having instructed her
friend she went out immediately upon a visit to a person in the exactly
opposite direction and desired her friend to proceed upon the errand to me
five minutes after she left the house By this prudence she completely
extricated me from the present danger
Meantime the intelligence that was brought me by no means ascertained the
greatness of the danger For any thing I could discover in it the circumstance
might be perfectly innocent and the fear solely proceed from the over caution
and kindness of this benevolent and excellent woman Yet such was the misery of
my situation I had no choice For this menace or no menace I was obliged to
desert my habitation at a minutes warning taking with me nothing but what I
could carry in my hand to see my generous benefactress no more to quit my
little arrangements and provision and to seek once again in some forlorn
retreat new projects and if of that I could have any rational hope a new
friend I descended into the street with a heavy not an irresolute heart It
was broad day I said Persons are at this moment supposed to be roaming the
street in search of me I must not trust to the chance of their pursuing one
direction and I another I traversed half a dozen streets and then dropped
into an obscure house of entertainment for persons of small expence In this
house I took some refreshment passed several hours of active but melancholy
thinking and at last procured a bed As soon however as it was dark I went out
for this was indispensible to purchase the materials of a new disguise Having
adjusted it as well as I could during the night I left this asylum with the
same precautions that I had employed in former instances
Chapter X
I procured a new lodging By some bias of the mind it may be gratifying itself
with images of peril I inclined upon the whole to believe that Mrs Marneys
alarm had not been without foundation I was however unable to conjecture
through what means danger had approached me and had therefore only the
unsatisfactory remedy of redoubling my watch upon all my actions Still I had
the joint considerations pressing upon me of security and subsistence I had
some small remains of the produce of my former industry but this was but small
for my employer was in arrear with me and I did not chuse in any method to
apply to him for payment The anxieties of my mind in spite of all my struggles
preyed upon my health I did not consider myself as in safety for an instant My
appearance was wasted to a shadow and I started at every sound that was
unexpected Sometimes I was half tempted to resign myself into the hands of the
law and brave its worst but resentment and indignation at those times speedily
flowed back upon my mind and reanimated my perseverance
I knew no better resource with respect to subsistence than that I had
employed in the former instance of seeking some third person to stand between
me and the disposal of my industry I might find an individual ready to
undertake this office in my behalf but where should I find the benevolent soul
of Mrs Marney The person I fixed upon was a Mr Spurrel a man who took in
work from the watchmakers and had an apartment upon our second floor I
examined him two or three times with irresolute glances as we passed upon the
stairs before I would venture to accost him He observed this and at length
kindly invited me into his apartment
Being seated he condoled with me upon my seeming bad health and the
solitary mode of my living and wished to know whether he could be of any
service to me From the first moment he saw me he had conceived an affection
for me In my present disguise I appeared twisted and deformed and in other
respects by no means an object of attraction But it seemed Mr Spurrel had
lost an only son about six months before and I was the very picture of him If
I had put off my counterfeited ugliness I should probably have lost all hold
upon his affections He was now an old man as he observed just dropping into
the grave and this son had been his only consolation The poor lad was always
ailing but he had been a nurse to him and the more tending he required while
he was alive the more he missed him now he was dead Now he had not a friend
nor any body that cared for him in the whole world If I pleased I should be
instead of that son to him and he would treat me in all respects with the same
attention and kindness
I expressed my sense of these benevolent offers but told him that I should
be sorry to be in any way burthensome to him My ideas at present led me to a
private and solitary life and my chief difficulty was to reconcile this with
some mode of earning necessary subsistence If he would condescend to lend me
his assistance in smoothing this difficulty it would be the greatest benefit he
could confer on me I added that my mind had always had a mechanical and
industrious turn and that I did not doubt of soon mastering any craft to which
I seriously applied myself I had not been brought up to any trade but if he
would favour me with his instructions I would work with him as long as he
pleased for a bare subsistence I knew that I was asking of him an extraordinary
kindness but I was urged on the one hand by the most extreme necessity and
encouraged on the other by the persuasiveness of his friendly professions
The old man dropped some tears over my apparent distress and readily
consented to every thing I proposed Our agreement was soon made and I entered
upon my functions accordingly My new friend was a man of a singular turn of
mind Love of money and a charitable officiousness of demeanour were his leading
characteristics He lived in the most penurious manner and denied himself every
indulgence I entitled myself almost immediately as he frankly acknowledged to
some remuneration for my labours and accordingly he insisted upon my being
paid He did not however as some persons would have done under the
circumstance pay me the whole amount of my earnings but professed to subtract
from them twenty per cent as an equitable consideration for instruction and
commissionmoney in procuring me a channel for my industry Yet he frequently
shed tears over me was uneasy in every moment of our indispensible separation
and exhibited perpetual tokens of attachment and fondness I found him a man of
excellent mechanical contrivance and received considerable pleasure from his
communications My own sources of information were various and he frequently
expressed his wonder and delight in the contemplation of my powers as well of
amusement as exertion
Thus I appeared to have attained a situation not less eligible than in my
connection with Mrs Marney I was however still more unhappy My fits of
despondence were deeper and of more frequent recurrence My health every day
grew worse and Mr Spurrel was not without apprehensions that he should lose
me as he before lost his only son
I had not been long however in this new situation before an incident
occurred which filled me with greater alarm and apprehension than ever I was
walking out one evening after a long visitation of langour for an hours
exercise and air when my ears were struck with two or three casual sounds from
the mouth of a hawker who was bawling his wares I stood still to inform myself
more exactly when to my utter astonishment and confusion I heard him deliver
himself nearly in these words »Here you have the most wonderful and surprising
history and miraculous adventures of Caleb Williams you are informed how he
first robbed and then brought false accusations against his master as also of
his attempting divers times to break out of prison till at last he effected his
escape in the most wonderful and uncredible manner as also of his travelling
the kingdom in various disguises and the robberies he committed with a most
desperate and daring gang of thieves and of his coming up to London where it
is supposed he now lies concealed with a true and faithful copy of the hue and
cry printed and published by one of his majestys most principal secretaries of
state offering a reward of one hundred guineas for apprehending him All for
the price of one halfpenny«
Petrified as I was at these amazing and dreadful sounds I had the temerity
to go up to the man and purchase one of his papers I was desperately resolved
to know the exact state of the fact and what I had to depend upon I carried it
with me a little way till no longer able to endure the tumult of my
impatience I contrived to make out the chief part of its contents by the help
of a lamp at the upper end of a narrow passage I found it contain a greater
number of circumstances than could have been expected in this species of
publication I was equalled to the most notorious housebreaker in the art of
penetrating through walls and doors and to the most accomplished swindler in
plausibleness duplicity and disguise The handbill which Larkins had first
brought to us upon the forest was printed at length All my disguises
previously to the last alarm that had been given me by the providence of Mrs
Marney were faithfully enumerated and the public was warned to be upon their
watch against a person of an uncouth and extraordinary appearance and who lived
in a recluse and solitary manner I also learned from this paper that my former
lodgings had been searched on the very evening of my escape and that Mrs
Marney had been sent to Newgate upon a charge of misprision of felony This
last circumstance affected me deeply In the midst of my own sufferings my
sympathies flowed undiminished It was a most cruel and intolerable idea if I
were not only myself to be an object of unrelenting persecution but my very
touch were to be infectious and every one that succoured me was to be involved
in the common ruin My instant feeling was that of a willingness to undergo the
utmost malice of my enemies could I by that means have saved this excellent
woman from alarm and peril I afterwards learned that Mrs Marney was
delivered from confinement by the interposition of her noble relation
My sympathy for Mrs Marney however was at this moment a transient one A
more imperious and irresistible consideration demanded to be heard
With what sensations did I ruminate upon this paper Every word of it
carried despair to my heart The actual apprehension that I dreaded would
perhaps have been less horrible It would have put an end to that lingering
terror to which I was a prey Disguise was no longer of use A numerous class of
individuals through every department almost every house of the metropolis
would be induced to look with a suspicious eye upon every stranger especially
every solitary stranger that fell under their observation The prize of one
hundred guineas was held out to excite their avarice and sharpen their
penetration It was no longer BowStreet it was a million of men in arms
against me Neither had I the refuge which few men have been so miserable as to
want of one single individual with whom to repose my alarms and who might
shelter me from the gaze of indiscriminate curiosity
What could exceed the horrors of this situation My heart knocked against my
ribs my bosom heaved I gasped and panted for breath There is no end then
said I to my persecutors My unwearied and long continued labours lead to no
termination Termination No the lapse of time that cures all other things
makes my case more desperate Why then exclaimed I a new train of thought
suddenly rushing into my mind Why should I sustain the contest any longer I
can at least elude my persecutors in death I can bury myself and the traces of
my existence together in friendly oblivion and thus bequeath eternal doubt
and ever new alarm to those who have no peace but in pursuing me
In the midst of the horrors with which I was now impressed this idea gave
me pleasure and I hastened to the Thames to put it in instant execution Such
was the paroxysm of my mind that my powers of vision became partially
suspended I was no longer conscious to the feebleness of disease but rushed
along with fervent impetuosity I passed from street to street without
observing what direction I pursued After wandering I know not how long I
arrived at LondonBridge I hastened to the stairs and saw the river covered
with vessels
No human being must see me said I at the instant that I vanish for ever
This thought required some consideration A portion of time had elapsed since my
first desperate purpose My understanding began to return The sight of the
vessels suggested to me the idea of once more attempting to leave my native
country
I enquired and speedily found that the cheapest passage I could procure was
in a vessel moored near the Tower and which was to sail in a few days for
Middleburg in Holland I would have gone instantly on board and have endeavoured
to prevail with the captain to let me remain there till he sailed but
unfortunately I had not money enough in my pocket to defray my passage It was
worse than this I had not money enough in the world I however paid the captain
half his demand and promised to return with the rest I knew not in what manner
it was to be procured but I believed that I should not fail in it I had some
idea of applying to Mr Spurrel Surely he would not refuse me He appeared to
love me with parental affection and I thought I might trust myself for a moment
in his hands
I approached my place of residence with a heavy and foreboding heart Mr
Spurrel was not at home and I was obliged to wait for his return Worn out with
fatigue disappointment and the ill state of my health I sunk upon a chair
Speedily however I recollected myself I had work of Mr Spurrels in my trunk
which had been delivered out to me that very morning to five times the amount I
wanted I canvassed for a moment whether I should make use of this property as
if it were my own but I rejected the idea with disdain I had never in the
smallest degree merited the reproaches that were cast upon me and I was
determined I never would merit them I sat gasping anxious full of the
blackest forebodings My terrors appeared even to my own mind greater and more
importunate than the circumstances authorised
It was extraordinary that Mr Spurrel should be abroad at this hour I had
never known it happen before His bedtime was between nine and ten Ten oclock
came eleven oclock but not Mr Spurrel At midnight I heard his knock at the
door Every soul in the house was in bed Mr Spurrel on account of his regular
hours was unprovided with a key to open for himself A gleam a sickly gleam
of the social spirit came over my heart I flew nimbly down the stairs and
opened the door
I could perceive by the little taper in my hand something extraordinary
written in his countenance I had not time to speak before I saw two other men
follow him At the first glance I was sufficiently assured what sort of persons
they were At the second I perceived that one of them was no other than Gines
himself I had understood formerly that he had been of this profession and I
was not surprised to find him in it again Though I had for three hours
endeavoured as it were to prepare myself for the unavoidable necessity of
falling once again into the hands of the officers of law the sensation I felt
at their entrance was undescribably agonizing I was beside not a little
astonished at the time and manner of their entrance and I felt anxious to know
whether Mr Spurrel could be base enough to have been their introducer
I was not long held in perplexity He no sooner saw his followers within the
door than he exclaimed with convulsive eagerness There there that is your
man thank God thank God Gines looked eagerly in my face with a countenance
expressive alternately of hope and doubt and answered By God and I do not
know whether it be or no I am afraid we are in the wrong box then recollecting
himself We will go into the house and examine farther however We all went up
stairs into Mr Spurreds room I set down the candle upon the table I had
hitherto been silent but I determined not to desert myself and was a little
encouraged to exertion by the skepticism of Gines With a calm and deliberate
manner therefore in my feigned voice one of the characteristics of which was
lisping I asked Pray gentlemen what may be your pleasure with me Why said
Gines our errand is with one Caleb Williams and a precious rascal he is I
ought to know the chap well enough but they say he has as many faces as there
are days in the year So you please to pull off your face or if you cannot do
that at least you can pull off your clothes and let us see what your hump is
made of
I remonstrated but in vain I stood detected in part of my artifice and
Gines though still uncertain was every moment more and more confirmed in his
suspicions Mr Spurrel perfectly gloted with eyes that seemed ready to devour
every thing that passed As my imposture gradually appeared more palpable he
repeated his exclamation Thank God thank God At last tired with this scene
of mummery and disgusted beyond measure with the base and hypocritical figure I
seemed to exhibit I exclaimed Well I am Caleb Williams conduct me wherever
you please And now Mr Spurrel He gave a violent start The instant I
declared myself his transport had been at the highest and was to any power he
was able to exert absolutely uncontrolable But the unexpectedness of my
address and the tone in which I spoke electrified him Is it possible
continued I that you should have been the wretch to betray me What had I done
to deserve this treatment Is this the kindness you professed the affection
that was perpetually in your mouth to be the death of me
My poor boy my dear creature cried Spurrel whimpering and in a tone of
the humblest expostulation indeed I could not help it I would have helped it
if I could I hope they will not hurt my darling I am sure I shall die if they
do
Miserable driveller interrupted I with a stern voice do you betray me
into the remorseless fangs of the law and then talk of my not being hurt I
know my sentence and am prepared to meet it You have fixed the halter upon my
neck and at the same price would have done so to your only son Go count your
accursed guineas My life would have been safer in the hands of one I had never
seen than in yours whose mouth and whose eyes for ever ran over with crocodile
affection
I have always believed that my sickness and as he apprehended approaching
death contributed its part to the treachery of Mr Spurrel He predicted to his
own mind the time when I should no longer be able to work He recollected with
agony the expence that attended his sons illness and death He was determined
to afford me no assistance of a similar kind He feared however the reproach of
deserting me He feared the tenderness of his nature He felt that I was
growing upon his affections and that in a short time he could not have
deserted me He was driven by a sort of implicit impulse for the sake of
avoiding one ungenerous action to take refuge in another the basest and most
diabolical This motive conjoining with the prospect of the proffered reward
was an incitement too powerful for him to resist
Chapter XI
Having given vent to my resentment I left Mr Spurrel motionless and unable
to utter a word Gines and his companion attended me It is unnecessary to
repeat all the insolence of this man He alternately triumphed in the completion
of his revenge and regretted the loss of the reward to the shrivelled old
curmudgeon we had just quitted whom however he swore he would cheat of it by
one means or another He claimed to himself the ingenuity of having devised the
halfpenny legend the thought of which was all his own and was an expedient
that was impossible to fail There was neither law nor justice he said to be
had if Hunks who had done nothing were permitted to pocket the cash and his
merit were left undistinguished and pennyless
I paid but little attention to his story It struck upon my sense and I was
able to recollect it at my nearest leisure though I thought not of it at the
time For the present I was busily employed reflecting on my new situation and
the conduct to be observed in it The thought of suicide had twice in moments
of uncommon despair suggested itself to my mind but it was far from my
habitual meditations At present and in all cases where death was immediately
threatened me from the injustice of others I felt myself disposed to contend to
the last
My prospects were indeed sufficiently gloomy and discouraging How much
labour had I exerted first to extricate myself from prison and next to evade
the diligence of my pursuers and the result of all to be brought back to the
point from which I began I had gained fame indeed the miserable fame to have
my story bawled forth by hawkers and balladmongers to have my praises as an
active and enterprising villain celebrated among footmen and chambermaids but I
was neither an Erostratus nor an Alexander to die contented with that species
of eulogium With respect to all that was solid what chance could I find in new
exertions of a similar nature Never was a human creature pursued by enemies
more inventive or envenomed I could have small hope that they would ever cease
their persecution or that my future attempts could be crowned with a more
desirable issue
They were considerations like these that dictated my resolution My mind had
been gradually weaning from Mr Falkland till its feelings rose to something
like abhorrence I had long cherished a reverence for him which not even
animosity and subordination on his part could readily destroy But I now
ascribed a character so inhumanly sanguinary to his mind I saw something so
fiendlike in the thus hunting me round the world and determining to be
satisfied with nothing less than my blood while at the same time he knew my
innocence my indisposition to mischief nay I might add my virtues that
henceforth I trampled reverence and the recollection of former esteem under my
feet I lost all regard to his intellectual greatness and all pity for the
agonies of his soul I also would abjure forbearance I would show myself bitter
and inflexible as he had done Was it wise in him to drive me into extremity and
madness Had he no fears for his own secret and atrocious offences
I had been obliged to spend the remainder of the night upon which I had been
apprehended in prison During the interval I had thrown off every vestige of
disguise and appeared the next morning in my own person I was of course easily
identified and this being the whole with which the magistrates before whom I
now stood thought themselves concerned they were proceeding to make out an
order for my being conducted back to my own county I suspended the dispatch of
this measure by observing that I had something to disclose This is an overture
to which men appointed for the administration of criminal justice never fail to
attend
I went before the magistrates to whose office Gines and his comrade
conducted me fully determined to publish those astonishing secrets of which I
had hitherto been the faithful depository and once for all to turn the tables
upon my accuser It was time that the real criminal should be the sufferer and
not that innocence should for ever labour under the oppression of guilt
I said that I had always protested my innocence and must now repeat the
protest
In that case retorted the senior magistrate abruptly what can you have to
disclose If you are innocent that is no business of ours We act officially
I always declared continued I that I was the perpetrator of no guilt but
that the guilt wholly belonged to my accuser He privately conveyed these
effects among my property and then charged me with the robbery I now declare
more than that that this man is a murderer that I detected his criminality
and that for that reason he is determined to deprive me of life I presume
gentlemen that you do consider it as your business to take this declaration I
am persuaded you will be by no means disposed actively or passively to
contribute to the atrocious injustice under which I suffer to the imprisonment
and condemnation of an innocent man in order that a murderer may go free I
suppressed this story as long as I could I was extremely averse to be the
author of the unhappiness or the death of a human being But all patience and
submission have their limits
Give me leave sir rejoined the magistrate with an air of affected
moderation to ask you two questions Were you any way aiding abetting or
contributing to this murder
No
And pray sir who is this Mr Falkland and what may have been the nature
of your connection with him
Mr Falkland is a gentleman of six thousand per annum I lived with him as
his secretary
In other words you were his servant
As you please
Very well sir that is quite enough for me First I have to tell you as a
magistrate that I can have nothing to do with your declaration If you had been
concerned in the murder you talk of that would alter the case But it is out of
all reasonable rule for a magistrate to take an information from a felon
except against his accomplices Next I think it right to observe to you in my
own proper person that you appear to me to be the most impudent rascal I ever
saw Why are you such an ass as to suppose that the sort of story you have
been telling can be of any service to you either here or at the assizes or
any where else A fine time of it indeed it would be if when gentlemen of six
thousand a year take up their servants for robbing them those servants could
trump up such accusations as these and could get any magistrate or court of
justice to listen to them Whether or no the felony with which you stand charged
would have brought you to the gallows I will not pretend to say But I am sure
this story will There would be a speedy end to all order and good government
if fellows that trample upon ranks and distinctions in this atrocious sort were
upon any consideration suffered to get off
And do you refuse sir to attend to the particulars of the charge I allege
Yes sir I do But if I did not pray what witnesses have you of the
murder
This question staggered me
None But I believe I can make out a circumstantial proof of a nature to
force attention from the most indifferent hearer
I thought so Officers take him from the bar
Such was the success of this ultimate resort on my part upon which I had
built with such undoubting confidence Till now I had conceived that the
unfavourable situation in which I was placed was prolonged by my own
forbearance and I had determined to endure all that human nature could support
rather than have recourse to this extreme recrimination That idea secretly
consoled me under all my calamities it was a voluntary sacrifice and was
chearfully made I thought myself allied to the army of martyrs and confessors
I applauded my fortitude and selfdenial and I pleased myself with the idea
that I had the power though I hoped never to employ it by an unrelenting
display of all my resources to put an end at once to my sufferings and
persecutions
And this at last was the justice of mankind A man under certain
circumstances shall not be heard in the detection of a crime because he has not
been a participator of it The story of a flagitious murder shall be listened to
with indifference while an innocent man is hunted like a wild beast to the
farthest corners of the earth Six thousand a year shall protect a man from
accusation and the validity of an impeachment shall be superseded because the
author of it is a servant
I was conducted back to the very prison from which a few months before I had
made my escape With a bursting heart I entered those walls compelled to feel
that all my more than Herculean labours served for my own torture and for no
other end Since my escape from prison I had acquired some knowledge of the
world I had learned by bitter experience by how many links society had a hold
upon me and how closely the snares of despotism beset me I no longer beheld
the world as my youthful fancy had once induced me to do as a scene in which
to hide or to appear and to exhibit the freaks of a wanton vivacity I saw my
whole species as ready in one mode or other to be made the instruments of the
tyrant Hope died away in the bottom of my heart Shut up for the first night in
my dungeon I was seized at intervals with temporary frenzy From time to time I
rent the universal silence with the roarings of unsupportable despair But this
was a transient distraction I soon returned to the sober recollection of myself
and my miseries
My prospects were more gloomy and my situation apparently more irremediable
than ever I was exposed again if that were of any account to the insolence
and tyranny that are uniformly exercised within those walls Why should I repeat
the loathsome tale of all that was endured by me and is endured by every man
who is unhappy enough to fall under the government of these consecrated
ministers of national jurisprudence The sufferings I had already experienced
my anxieties my flight the perpetual expectation of being discovered worse
than the discovery itself would perhaps have been enough to satisfy the most
insensible individual in the court of his own conscience if I had even been the
felon I was pretended to be But the law has neither eyes nor ears nor bowels
of humanity and it turns into marble the hearts of all those that are nursed in
its principles
I however once more recovered my spirit of determination I resolved that
while I had life I would never be deserted by this spirit Oppressed
annihilated I might be but if I died I would die resisting What use what
advantage what pleasurable sentiment could arise from a tame surrender There
is no man that is ignorant that to humble yourself at the feet of the law is a
bootless task in her courts there is no room for amendment and reformation
My fortitude may to some persons appear above the standard of human nature
But if I draw back the veil from my heart they will readily confess their
mistake My heart bled at every pore My resolution was not the calm sentiment
of philosophy and reason It was a gloomy and desperate purpose the creature
not of hope but of a mind austerely held to its design that felt as it were
satisfied with the naked effort and prepared to give success or miscarriage to
the winds It was to this miserable condition which might awaken sympathy in
the most hardened bosom that Mr Falkland had reduced me
In the mean time strange as it may seem here in prison subject to
innumerable hardships and in the assured expectation of a sentence of death I
recovered my health I ascribe this to the state of my mind which was now
changed from perpetual anxiety terror and alarm the too frequent inmates of
a prison but which I upon this occasion did not seem to bring along with me
to a desperate firmness
I anticipated the event of my trial I determined once more to escape from
my prison nor did I doubt of my ability to effect at least this first step
towards my future preservation The assizes however were near and there were
certain considerations unnecessary to be detailed that persuaded me there might
be benefit in waiting till my trial should actually be terminated before I made
my attempt It stood upon the list as one of the latest to be brought forward I
was therefore extremely surprised to find it called out of its order early on
the morning of the second day But if this were unexpected how much greater
was my astonishment when my prosecutor was called to find neither Mr
Falkland nor Mr Forester nor a single individual of any description appear
against me The recognizances into which my prosecutors had entered were
declared to be forfeited and I was dismissed without farther impediment from
the bar
The effect which this incredible reverse produced upon my mind it is
impossible to express I who had come to that bar with the sentence of death
already in idea ringing in my ears to be told that I was free to transport
myself whithersoever I pleased Was it for this that I had broken through so
many locks and bolts and the adamantine walls of my prison that I had passed
so many anxious days and sleepless spectrehaunted nights that I had racked
my invention for expedients of evasion and concealment that my mind had been
roused to an energy of which I could scarcely have believed it capable that my
existence had been enthralled to an everliving torment such as I could scarcely
have supposed it in man to endure Great God What is man Is he thus blind to
the future thus totally unsuspecting of what is to occur in the next moment of
his existence I have somewhere read that heaven in mercy hides from us the
future incidents of our life My own experience does not well accord with this
assertion In this instance at least I should have been saved from insupportable
labour and undescribable anguish could I have foreseen the catastrophe of this
most interesting transaction
Chapter XII
It was not long before I took my everlasting leave of this detested and
miserable scene My heart was for the present too full of astonishment and
exultation in this unexpected deliverance to admit of anxiety about the future
I withdrew from the town I rambled with a slow and thoughtful pace now
bursting with exclamation and now buried in profound and undefinable reverie
Accident led me towards the very heath which had first sheltered me when upon a
former occasion I broke out of my prison I wandered among its cavities and its
vallies It was a forlorn and desolate solitude I continued here I know not how
long Night at length overtook me unperceived and I prepared to return for the
present to the town I had quitted
It was now perfectly dark when two men whom I had not previously observed
sprung upon me from behind They seized me by the arms and threw me upon the
ground I had no time for resistance or recollection I could however perceive
that one of them was the diabolical Gines They blindfolded gagged me and
hurried me I knew not whither As we passed along in silence I endeavoured to
conjecture what could be the meaning of this extraordinary violence I was
strongly impressed with the idea that after the event of this morning the most
severe and painful part of my history was past and strange as it may seem I
could not persuade myself to regard with alarm this unexpected attack It might
however be some new project suggested by the brutal temper and unrelenting
animosity of Gines
I presently found that we were returned into the town I had just quitted
They led me into a house and as soon as they had taken possession of a room
freed me from the restraints they had before imposed Here Gines informed me
with a malicious grin that no harm was intended me and therefore I should show
most sense in keeping myself quiet I perceived that we were in an inn I
overheard company in a room at no great distance from us and therefore was now
as thoroughly aware as he could be that there was at present little reason to
stand in fear of any species of violence and that it would be time enough to
resist when they attempted to conduct me from the inn in the same manner that
they had brought me into it I was not without some curiosity to see the
conclusion that was to follow upon so extraordinary a commencement
The preliminaries I have described were scarcely completed before Mr
Falkland entered the room I remember Collins when he first communicated to me
the particulars of our patrons history observed that he was totally unlike the
man he had once been I had no means of ascertaining the truth of that
observation But it was strikingly applicable to the spectacle which now
presented itself to my eyes though when I last beheld this unhappy man he had
been a victim to the same passions a prey to the same undying remorse as now
Misery was at that time inscribed in legible characters upon his countenance
But now he appeared like nothing that had ever been visible in human shape His
visage was haggard emaciated and fleshless His complexion was a dun and
tarnished red the colour uniform through every region of the face and
suggested the idea of its being burnt and parched by the eternal fire that
burned within him His eyes were red quick wandering full of suspicion and
rage His hair was neglected ragged and floating His whole figure was thin to
a degree that suggested the idea rather of a skeleton than a person actually
alive Life seemed hardly to be the capable inhabitant of so woebegone and
ghostlike a figure The taper of wholesome life was expired but passion and
fierceness and frenzy were able for the present to supply its place
I was to the utmost degree astonished and shocked at the sight of him He
sternly commanded my conductors to leave the room
Well sir I have this day successfully exerted myself to save your life
from the gallows A fortnight ago you did what you were able to bring my life to
that ignominious close
Were you so stupid and undistinguishing as not to know that the preservation
of your life was the uniform object of my exertions Did not I maintain you in
prison Did not I endeavour to prevent your being sent thither Could you
mistake the bigoted and obstinate conduct of Forester in offering a hundred
guineas for your apprehension for mine
I had my eye upon you in all your wanderings You have taken no material
step through their whole course with which I have not been acquainted I
meditated to do you good I have spilled no blood but that of Tyrrel that was
in the moment of passion and it has been the subject of my uninterrupted and
hourly remorse I have connived at no mans fate but that of the Hawkinses they
could no otherwise have been saved than by my acknowledging myself a murderer
The rest of my life has all been spent in acts of benevolence
I meditated to do you good For that reason I was willing to prove you You
pretended to act towards me with consideration and forbearance If you had
persisted in that to the end I would yet have found a way to reward you I left
you to your own discretion You might show the impotent malignity of your own
heart but in the circumstances in which you were then placed I knew you could
not hurt me Your forbearance has proved as I all along suspected empty and
treacherous You have attempted to blast my reputation You have sought to
disclose the select and eternal secret of my soul Because you have done that I
will never forgive you I will remember it to my latest breath The memory shall
survive me when my existence is no more Do you think you are out of the reach
of my power because a court of justice has acquitted you
While Mr Falkland was speaking a sudden distemper came over his
countenance his whole frame was shaken by an instantaneous convulsion and he
staggered to a chair In about three minutes he recovered
Yes said he I am still alive I shall live for days and months and years
the power that made me of whatever kind it be can only determine how long I
live the guardian of my reputation That and to endure a misery such as man
never endured are the only ends to which I live But when I am no more my
fame shall still survive My character shall be revered as spotless and
unimpeachable by all posterity as long as the name of Falkland shall be
repeated in the most distant regions of the manypeopled globe
Having said this he returned to the discourse which more immediately
related to my future condition and happiness
There is one condition said he upon which you may obtain some mitigation
of your future calamity It is for that purpose that I have sent for you Listen
to my proposal with deliberation and sobriety Remember that the insanity is
not less to trifle with the resolved determination of my soul than it would be
to pull a mountain upon your head that hung trembling upon the edge of the
mighty Appenine
I insist then upon your signing a paper declaring in the most solemn manner
that I am innocent of murder and that the charge you alleged at the office in
Bow Street is false malicious and groundless Perhaps you may scruple out of a
regard to truth Is truth then entitled to adoration for its own sake and not
for the sake of the happiness it is calculated to produce Will a reasonable man
sacrifice to barren truth when benevolence humanity and every consideration
that is dear to the human heart require that it should be superseded It is
probable that I may never make use of this paper but I require it as the only
practicable reparation to the honour you have assailed This is what I had to
propose I expect your answer
Sir answered I I have heard you to an end and I stand in need of no
deliberation to enable me to answer you in the negative You took me up a raw
and inexperienced boy capable of being moulded to any form you pleased But you
have communicated to me volumes of experience in a very short period I am no
longer irresolute and pliable What is the power you retain over my fate I am
unable to discover You may destroy me but you cannot make me tremble I am not
concerned to enquire whether what I have suffered flowed from you by design or
otherwise whether you were the author of my miseries or only connived at them
This I know that I have suffered too exquisitely on your account for me to
feel the least remaining claim on your part to my making any voluntary
sacrifice
You say that benevolence and humanity require this sacrifice of me No It
would only be a sacrifice to your mad and misguided love of fame to that
passion which has been the source of all your miseries of the most tragical
calamities to others and of every misfortune that has happened to me I have no
forbearance to exercise towards that passion If you be not yet cured of this
tremendous and sanguinary folly at least I will do nothing to cherish it I
know not whether from my youth I was destined for a hero but I may thank you
for having taught me a lesson of insurmountable fortitude
What is it that you require of me That I should sign away my own reputation
for the better maintaining of yours Where is the equality of that What is it
that casts me at such an immense distance below you as to make every thing that
relates to me wholly unworthy of consideration You have been educated in the
prejudice of birth I abhor that prejudice You have made me desperate and I
utter what that desperation suggests
You will tell me perhaps that I have no reputation to lose that while you
are esteemed faultless and unblemished I am universally reputed a thief a
suborner and a calumniator Be it so I will never do any thing to countenance
those imputations The more I am destitute of the esteem of mankind the more
careful I will be to preserve my own I will never from fear or any other
mistaken motive do any thing of which I ought to be ashamed
You are determined to be for ever my enemy I have in no degree deserved
this eternal abhorrence I have always esteemed and pitied you For a
considerable time I rather chose to expose myself to every kind of misfortune
than disclose the secret that was so dear to you I was not deterred by your
menaces What could you make me suffer more than I actually suffered but by
the humanity of my own heart in which and not in means of violence you ought
to have reposed your confidence What is the mysterious vengeance that you can
yet execute against me You menaced me before you can menace no worse now You
are wearing out the springs of terror Do with me as you please You teach me to
hear you with an unshrinking and desperate firmness Recollect yourself I did
not proceed to the step with which you reproach me till I was apparently urged
to the very last extremity I had suffered as much as human nature can suffer I
had lived in the midst of eternal alarm and unintermitted watchfulness I had
twice been driven to purposes of suicide I am now sorry however that the step
of which you complain was ever adopted But urged to exasperation by an
unintermitted rigour I had no time to cool or to deliberate Even at present I
cherish no vengeance against you All that is reasonable all that can really
contribute to your security I will readily concede but I will not be driven to
an act repugnant to all reason integrity and justice
Mr Falkland listened to me with astonishment and impatience He had
entertained no previous conception of the firmness I displayed Several times he
was convulsed with the fury that laboured in his breast Once and again he
betrayed an intention to interrupt but he was restrained by the collectedness
of my manner and perhaps by a desire to be acquainted with the entire state of
my mind Finding that I had concluded he paused for a moment his passion
seemed gradually to enlarge till it was no longer capable of control
It is well said he gnashing his teeth and stamping upon the ground You
refuse the composition I offer I have no power to persuade you to compliance
You defy me At least I have a power respecting you and that power I will
exercise a power that shall grind you into atoms I condescend to no more
expostulation I know what I am and what I can be I know what you are and
what fate is reserved for you
Saying this he quitted the room
Such were the particulars of this memorable scene The impression it has
left upon my understanding is indelible The figure and appearance of Mr
Falkland his deathlike weakness and decay his more than mortal energy and
rage the words that he spoke the motives that animated him produced one
compounded effect upon my mind that nothing of the same nature could ever
parallel The idea of his misery thrilled through my frame How weak in
comparison of it is the imaginary hell which the great enemy of mankind is
represented as carrying every where about with him
From this consideration my mind presently turned to the menaces he had
vented against myself They were all mysterious and undefined He had talked of
power but had given no hint from which I could collect in what he imagined it
to consist He had talked of misery but had not dropped a syllable respecting
the nature of the misery to be inflicted
I sat still for some time ruminating on these thoughts Neither Mr
Falkland nor any other person appeared to disturb my meditations I rose went
out of the room and from the inn into the street No one offered to molest me
It was strange What was the nature of this power from which I was to apprehend
so much yet which seemed to leave me at perfect liberty I began to imagine
that all I had heard from this dreadful adversary was mere madness and
extravagance that he was at length deprived of the use of reason, which had
long served him only as a medium of torment Yet was it likely in that case that
he should be able to employ Gines and his associate who had just been his
instruments of violence upon my person
I proceeded along the streets with considerable caution I looked before me
and behind me as well as the darkness would allow me to do that I might not
again be hunted in sight by some man of stratagem and violence without my
perceiving it I was not as before beyond the limits of the town but considered
the streets the houses and the inhabitants as affording some degree of
security I was still walking with my mind thus full of suspicion and forecast
when I discovered Thomas that servant of Mr Falkland whom I have already more
than once had occasion to mention He advanced towards me with an air so blunt
and direct as instantly to remove from me the idea of any thing insidious in
his purpose beside that I had always felt the character of Thomas rustic and
uncultivated as it was to be entitled to a more than common portion of esteem
Thomas said I as he advanced I hope you are willing to give me joy that
I am at length delivered from the dreadful danger which for many months haunted
me so unmercifully
No rejoined Thomas roughly I be not at all willing I do not know what to
make of myself in this affair While you were in prison in that miserable
fashion I felt all at one almost as if I loved you and now that that is over
and you are turned out loose in the world to do your worst my blood rises at
the very sight of you To look at you you are almost that very lad Williams for
whom I could with pleasure as it were have laid down my life and yet behind
that smiling face there lie robbery and lying and every thing that is
ungrateful and murderous Your last action was worse than all the rest How
could you find in your heart to revive that cruel story about Mr Tyrrel which
every body had agreed out of regard to the squire never to mention again and of
which I know and you know he is as innocent as the child unborn There are
causes and reasons or else I could have wished from the bottom of my soul never
to have set eyes on you again
And you still persist in your hard thoughts of me
Worse I think worse of you than ever Before I thought you as bad as man
could be I wonder from my soul what you are to do next But you make good the
old saying Needs must go that the devil drives
And so there is never to be an end of my misfortunes What can Mr Falkland
contrive for me worse than the ill opinion and enmity of all mankind
Mr Falkland contrive He is the best friend you have in the world though
you are the basest traitor to him Poor man it makes ones heart ache to look
at him he is the very image of grief And it is not clear to me that it is not
all owing to you At least you have given the finishing lift to the misfortune
that was already destroying him There have been the devil and all to pay
between him and squire Forester The squire is right raving mad with my master
for having outwitted him in the matter of the trial and saved your life He
swears that you shall be taken up and tried all over again at the next assizes
but my master is resolute and I believe will carry it his own way He says
indeed that the law will not allow squire Forester to have his will in this To
see him ordering every thing for your benefit and taking all your maliciousness
as mild and innocent as a lamb and to think of your vile proceedings against
him is a sight one shall not see again go all the world over For Gods sake
repent of your reprobate doings and make what little reparation is in your
power Think of your poor soul before you awake as to be sure one of these
days you will in fire and brimstone everlasting
Saying this he held out his hand and took hold of mine The action seemed
strange but I at first thought it the unpremeditated result of his solemn and
wellintentioned adjuration I felt however that he put something into my hand
The next moment he quitted his hold and hastened from me with the swiftness of
an arrow What he had thus given me was a banknote of twenty pounds I had no
doubt that he had been charged to deliver it to me from Mr Falkland
What was I to infer What light did it throw upon the intentions of my
inexorable persecutor His animosity against me was as great as ever that I had
just had confirmed to me from his own mouth Yet his animosity appeared to be
still tempered with the remains of humanity He prescribed to it a line wide
enough to embrace the gratification of his views and within the boundaries of
that line it stopped But this discovery carried no consolation to my mind I
knew not what portion of calamity I was fated to endure before his jealousy of
dishonour and inordinate thirst of fame would deem themselves satisfied
Another question offered itself Was I to receive the money which had just
been put into my hands The money of a man who had inflicted upon me injuries
less than those which he had entailed upon himself but the greatest that one
man can inflict upon another who had blasted my youth who had destroyed my
peace who had held me up to the abhorrence of mankind and rendered me an
outcast upon the face of the earth who had forged the basest and most atrocious
falshoods and urged them with a seriousness and perseverance which produced
universal belief who an hour before had vowed against me inexorable enmity and
sworn to entail upon me misery without end Would not this conduct on my part
betray a base and abject spirit that crouched under tyranny and kissed the
hands that were embrued in my blood
If these reasons appeared strong neither was the other side without reasons
in reply I wanted the money not for any purpose of vice or superfluity but
for those purposes without which life cannot subsist Man ought to be able
wherever placed to find for himself the means of existence but I was to open a
new scene of life to remove to some distant spot to be prepared against the
illwill of mankind and the unexplored projects of hostility of a most
accomplished foe The actual means of existence are the property of all What
should hinder me from taking that of which I was really in want when in taking
it I risked no vengeance and perpetrated no violence The property in question
will be beneficial to me and the voluntary surrender of it is accompanied with
no injury to its late proprietor what other condition can be necessary to
render the use of it on my part a duty He that lately possessed it has injured
me does that alter its value as a medium of exchange He will boast perhaps of
the imaginary obligation he has conferred on me Surely to shrink from a thing
in itself right from any such apprehension can be the result only of
pusillanimity and cowardice
Chapter XIII
Influenced by these reasonings I determined to retain what had thus been put
into my hands My next care was in regard to the scene I should choose as the
retreat of that life which I had just saved from the grasp of the executioner
The danger to which I was exposed of forcible interruption in my pursuits was
probably in some respects less now than it had been previously to this crisis
Besides that I was considerably influenced in this deliberation by the strong
loathing I conceived for the situations in which I had lately been engaged I
knew not in what mode Mr Falkland intended to exercise his vengeance against
me but I was seized with so unconquerable an aversion to disguise and the idea
of spending my life in the personating a fictitious character that I could not
for the present at least reconcile my mind to any thing of that nature The same
kind of disgust I had conceived for the metropolis where I had spent so many
hours of artifice sadness and terror I therefore decided in favour of the
project which had formerly proved amusing to my imagination of withdrawing to
some distant rural scene a scene of calmness and obscurity where for a few
years at least perhaps during the life of Mr Falkland I might be hidden from
the world recover the wounds my mind had received in this fatal connexion
methodise and improve the experience which had been accumulated cultivate the
faculties I in any degree possessed and employ the intervals of these
occupations in simple industry and the intercourse of guileless uneducated
kindintentioned minds The menaces of my persecutor seemed to forebode the
inevitable interruption of this system But I deemed it wise to put these
menaces out of my consideration I compared them to death which must infallibly
overtake us we know not when but the possibility of whose arrival next year
next week tomorrow must be left out of the calculation of him who would enter
upon any important or well concerted undertaking
Such were the ideas that determined my choice Thus did my youthful mind
delineate the system of distant years even when the threats of instant calamity
still sounded in my ears I was inured to the apprehension of mischief till at
last the hoarse roarings of the beginning tempest had lost their power of
annihilating my peace I however thought it necessary while I was most palpably
within the sphere of the enemy to exert every practicable degree of vigilance
I was careful not to incur the hazards of darkness and solitude When I left the
town it was with the stagecoach an obvious source of protection against
glaring and enormous violence Meanwhile I found myself no more exposed to
molestation in my progress than the man in the world who should have had the
least reason for apprehensions of this nature As the distance increased I
relaxed something in my precaution though still awake to a sense of danger and
constantly pursued with the image of my foe I fixed upon an obscure markettown
in Wales as the chosen seat of my operations This place recommended itself to
my observation as I was wandering in quest of an abode It was clean chearful
and of great simplicity of appearance It was at a distance from any public and
frequented road and had nothing which could deserve the name of trade The face
of nature around it was agreeably diversified being partly wild and romantic
and partly rich and abundant in production
Here I solicited employment in two professions the first that of a
watchmaker in which though the instructions I had received were few they were
eked out and assisted by a mind fruitful in mechanical invention the other that
of an instructor in mathematics and its practical application geography
astronomy landsurveying and navigation Neither of these was a very copious
source of emolument in the obscure retreat I had chosen for myself but if my
receipts were slender my disbursements were still fewer In this little town I
became acquainted with the vicar the apothecary the lawyer and the rest of
the persons who time out of mind had been regarded as the top gentry of the
place Each of these centred in himself a variety of occupations There was
little in the appearance of the vicar that reminded you of his profession except
on the recurring Sunday At other times he condescended with his evangelical
hand to guide the plough or to drive the cows from the field to the farmyard
for the milking The apothecary occasionally officiated as a barber and the
lawyer was the village schoolmaster
By all these persons I was received with kindness and hospitality Among
people thus remote from the bustle of human life there is an open spirit of
confidence by means of which a stranger easily finds access to their
benevolence and goodwill My manners had never been greatly debauched from the
simplicity of rural life by the scenes through which I had passed and the
hardships I had endured had given additional mildness to my character In the
theatre upon which I was now placed I had no rival My mechanical occupation had
hitherto been a nonresident and the schoolmaster who did not aspire to the
sublime heights of science I professed to communicate was willing to admit me
as a partner in the task of civilizing the unpolished manners of the
inhabitants For the parson civilisation was no part of his trade his business
was with the things of a better life not with the carnal concerns of this
material scene in truth his thoughts were principally occupied with his
oatmeal and his cows
These however were not the only companions which this remote retirement
afforded me There was a family of a very different description of which I
gradually became the chosen intimate The father was a shrewd sensible
rational man but who had turned his principal attention to subjects of
agriculture His wife was a truly admirable and extraordinary woman She was the
daughter of a Neapolitan nobleman who after having visited and made a
considerable figure in every country of Europe had at length received the blow
of fate in this village He had been banished his country upon suspicion of
religious and political heresy and his estates confiscated With this only
child like Prospero in the Tempest he had withdrawn himself to one of the most
obscure and uncultivated regions of the world Very soon however after his
arrival in Wales he had been siezed with a malignant fever which carried him
off in three days He died possessed of no other property than a few jewels
and a bill of credit to no considerable amount upon an English banker
Here then was the infant Laura left in a foreign country and without a
single friend The father of her present husband was led by motives of pure
humanity to seek to mitigate the misfortunes of the dying Italian Though a
plain uninstructed man with no extraordinary refinement of intellect there
was something in his countenance that determined the stranger in his present
forlorn and melancholy situation to make him his executor and the guardian of
his daughter The Neapolitan understood enough of English to explain his wishes
to this friendly attendant of his deathbed As his circumstances were narrow
the servants of the stranger two Italians a male and a female were sent back
to their own country soon after the death of their master
Laura was at this time eight years of age At these tender years she had
been susceptible of little direct instruction and as she grew up even the
memory of her father became from year to year more vague and indistinct in
her mind But there was something she derived from her father whether along
with the life he bestowed or as the consequence of his instruction and manners
which no time could efface Every added year of her life contributed to develop
the fund of her accomplishments She read she observed she reflected Without
instructors she taught herself to draw to sing and to understand the more
polite European languages As she had no society in this remote situation but
that of peasants she had no idea of honour or superiority to be derived from
her acquisitions but pursued them from a secret taste and as the sources of
personal enjoyment
A mutual attachment gradually arose between her and the only son of her
guardian His father led him from early youth to the labours and the sports of
the field and there was little congeniality between his pursuits and those of
Laura But this was a defect that she was slow to discover She had never been
accustomed to society in her chosen amusements and habit at that time even
made her conceive that they were indebted to solitude for an additional relish
The youthful rustic had great integrity great kindness of heart and was a lad
of excellent sense He was florid wellproportioned and the goodness of his
disposition made his manners amiable Accomplishments greater than these she had
never seen in human form since the death of her father In fact she is scarcely
to be considered as a sufferer in this instance since in her forlorn and
destitute condition it is little probable when we consider the habits and
notions that now prevail that her accomplishments unassisted by fortune would
have procured her an equal alliance in marriage
When she became a mother her heart opened to a new affection The idea now
presented itself which had never occurred before that in her children at
least she might find the partners and companions of her favourite employments
She was at the time of my arrival mother of four the eldest of which was a
son To all of them she had been a most assiduous instructor It was well for
her perhaps that she obtained this sphere for the exercise of her mind It
came just at the period when the charm which human life derives from novelty
is beginning to wear off It gave her new activity and animation It is perhaps
impossible that the refinements of which human nature is capable should not
after a time subside into sluggishness if they be not aided by the influence
of society and affection
The son of the Welch farmer by this admirable woman was about seventeen
years of age at the time of my settlement in their neighbourhood His eldest
sister was one year younger than himself The whole family composed a groupe
with which a lover of tranquillity and virtue would have delighted to associate
in any situation It is easy therefore to conceive how much I rejoiced in their
friendship in this distant retirement and suffering as I felt myself from
the maltreatment and desertion of my species The amiable Laura had a wonderful
quickness of eye and rapidity of apprehension but this feature in her
countenance was subdued by a sweetness of disposition such as I never in any
other instance saw expressed in the looks of a human being She soon
distinguished me by her kindness and friendship for living as she had done
though familiar with the written productions of a cultivated intellect she had
never seen the thing itself realised in a living being except in the person of
her father She delighted to converse with me upon subjects of literature and
taste and she eagerly invited my assistance in the education of her children
The son though young had been so happily improved and instructed by his
mother that I found in him nearly all the most essential qualities we require
in a friend Engagement and inclination equally led me to pass a considerable
part of every day in this agreeable society Laura treated me as if I had been
one of the family and I sometimes flattered myself that I might one day become
such in reality What an enviable restingplace for me who had known nothing
but calamity and had scarcely dared to look for sympathy and kindness in the
countenance of a human being
The sentiments of friendship which early disclosed themselves between me and
the members of this amiable family daily became stronger At every interview
the confidence reposed in me by the mother increased While our familiarity
gained in duration it equally gained in that subtlety of communication by
which it seemed to shoot forth its roots in every direction There are a
thousand little evanescent touches in the development of a growing friendship
that are neither thought of nor would be understood between common
acquaintances I honoured and esteemed the respectable Laura like a mother for
though the difference of our ages was by no means sufficient to authorise the
sentiment it was irresistibly suggested to me by the fact of her always being
presented to my observation under the maternal character Her son was a lad of
great understanding generosity and feeling and of no contemptible
acquirements while his tender years and the uncommon excellence of his mother
subtracted something from the independence of his judgment and impressed him
with a sort of religious deference for her will In the eldest daughter I beheld
the image of Laura for that I felt attached to her for the present and I
sometimes conceived it probable that hereafter I might learn to love her for
her own sake Alas it was thus that I amused myself with the visions of
distant years while I stood in reality on the brink of the precipice
It will perhaps be thought strange that I never once communicated the
particulars of my story to this amiable matron or to my young friend for such
I may almost venture to call him her son But in truth I abhorred the memory of
this story I placed all my hopes of happiness in the prospect of its being
consigned to oblivion I fondly flattered myself that such would be the event
in the midst of my unlookedfor happiness I scarcely recollected or
recollecting was disposed to yield but a small degree of credit to the menaces
of Mr Falkland
One day that I was sitting alone with the accomplished Laura she repeated
his alldreadful name I started with astonishment amazed that a woman like
this who knew nobody who lived as it were alone in a corner of the universe
who had never in a single instance entered into any fashionable circle this
admirable and fascinating hermit should by some unaccountable accident have
become acquainted with this fatal and tremendous name Astonishment however was
not my only sensation I became pale with terror I rose from my seat I
attempted to sit down again I reeled out of the room and hastened to bury
myself in solitude The unexpectedness of the incident took from me all
precaution and overwhelmed my faculties The penetrating Laura observed my
behaviour but nothing further occurring to excite her attention to it at that
time and concluding from my manner that enquiry would be painful to me she
humanely suppressed her curiosity
I afterwards found that Mr Falkland had been known to the father of Laura
that he had been acquainted with the story of count Malvesi and with a number
of other transactions redounding in the highest degree to the credit of the
gallant Englishman The Neapolitan had left letters in which these transactions
were recorded and which spoke of Mr Falkland in the highest terms of
panegyric Laura had been used to regard every little relic of her father with a
sort of religious veneration and by this accident the name of Mr Falkland
was connected in her mind with the sentiments of unbounded esteem
The scene by which I was surrounded was perhaps more grateful to me than it
would have been to most other persons with my degree of intellectual
cultivation Sore with persecution and distress and bleeding at almost every
vein there was nothing I so much coveted as rest and tranquillity It seemed as
if my faculties were at least for the time exhausted by the late preternatural
intensity of their exertions and that they stood indispensibly in need of a
period of comparative suspension
This was however but a temporary feeling My mind had always been active
and I was probably indebted to the sufferings I had endured and the exquisite
and increased susceptibility they produced for new energies I soon felt the
desire of some additional and vigorous pursuit In this state of mind I met by
accident in a neglected corner of the house of one of my neighbours with a
general dictionary of four of the northern languages This incident gave a
direction to my thoughts In my youth I had not been inattentive to languages I
determined to attempt at least for my own use an etymological analysis of the
English language I easily perceived that this pursuit had one advantage to a
person in my situation and that a small number of books consulted with this
view would afford employment for a considerable time I procured other
dictionaries In my incidental reading I noted the manner in which words were
used and applied these remarks to the illustration of my general enquiry I was
unintermitted in my assiduity and my collections promised to accumulate Thus I
was provided with sources both of industry and recreation the more completely
to divert my thoughts from the recollection of my past misfortunes
In this state so grateful to my feelings week after week glided away
without interruption and alarm The situation in which I was now placed had
some resemblance to that in which I had spent my earlier years with the
advantage of a more attractive society and a riper judgment I began to look
back upon the intervening period as upon a distempered and tormenting dream or
rather perhaps my feelings were like those of a man recovered from an interval
of raging delirium from ideas of horror confusion flight persecution agony
and despair When I recollected what I had undergone it was not without
satisfaction as the recollection of a thing that was past every day augmented
my hope that it was never to return Surely the dark and terrific menaces of Mr
Falkland were rather the perturbed suggestions of his angry mind than the final
result of a deliberate and digested system How happy should I feel beyond the
ordinary lot of man if after the terrors I had undergone I should now find
myself unexpectedly restored to the immunities of a human being
While I was thus soothing my mind with fond imaginations it happened that a
few bricklayers and their labourers came over from a distance of five or six
miles to work upon some additions to one of the better sort of houses in the
town which had changed its tenant No incident could be more trivial than this
had it not been for a strange coincidence of time between this circumstance and
a change which introduced itself into my situation This first manifested itself
in a sort of shyness with which I was treated first by one person and then
another of my newformed acquaintance They were backward to enter into
conversation with me and answered my enquiries with an aukward and embarrassed
air When they met me in the street or the field their countenances contracted
a cloud and they endeavoured to shun me My scholars quitted me one after
another and I had no longer any employment in my mechanical profession It is
impossible to describe the sensations which the gradual but uninterrupted
progress of this revolution produced in my mind It seemed as if I had some
contagious disease from which every man shrunk with alarm and left me to
perish unassisted and alone I asked one man and another to explain to me the
meaning of these appearances but every one avoided the task and answered in an
evasive and ambiguous manner I sometimes supposed that it was all a delusion of
the imagination till the repetition of the sensation brought the reality too
painfully home to my apprehension There are few things that give a greater
shock to the mind than a phenomenon in the conduct of our fellow men of great
importance to our concerns and for which we are unable to assign any plausible
reason At times I was half inclined to believe that the change was not in other
men but that some alienation of my own understanding generated the horrid
vision I endeavoured to awake from my dream and return to my former state of
enjoyment and happiness but in vain To the same consideration it may be
ascribed that unacquainted with the source of the evil observing its perpetual
increase and finding it so far as I could perceive entirely arbitrary in its
nature I was unable to ascertain its limits or the degree in which it would
finally overwhelm me
In the midst however of the wonderful and seemingly inexplicable nature of
this scene there was one idea that instantly obtruded itself and that I could
never after banish from my mind It is Falkland In vain I struggled against the
seeming improbability of the supposition In vain I said Mr Falkland wise as
he is and pregnant in resources acts by human and not by supernatural means He
may overtake me by surprise and in a manner of which I have no previous
expectation but he cannot produce a great and notorious effect without some
visible agency however difficult it may be to trace that agency to its absolute
author He cannot like those invisible personages who are supposed from time to
time to interfere in human affairs ride in the whirlwind shroud himself in
clouds and impenetrable darkness and scatter destruction upon the earth from
his secret habitation Thus it was that I bribed my imagination and endeavoured
to persuade myself that my present unhappiness originated in a different source
from my former All evils appeared trivial to me in comparison of the
recollection and perpetuation of my parent misfortune I felt like a man
distracted by the incoherence of my ideas to my present situation excluding from
it the machinations of Mr Falkland on the one hand and on the other by the
horror I conceived at the bare possibility of again encountering his animosity
after a suspension of many weeks a suspension as I had hoped for ever An
interval like this was an age to a person in the calamitous situation I had so
long experienced But in spite of my efforts I could not banish from my mind
the dreadful idea My original conceptions of the genius and perseverance of Mr
Falkland had been such that I could with difficulty think any thing impossible
to him I knew not how to set up my own opinions of material causes and the
powers of the human mind as the limits of existence Mr Falkland had always
been to my imagination an object of wonder and that which excites our wonder we
scarcely suppose ourselves competent to analyse
It may well be conceived that one of the first persons to whom I applied
for an explanation of this dreadful mystery was the accomplished Laura My
disappointment here cut me to the heart I was not prepared for it I
recollected the ingenuousness of her nature the frankness of her manners the
partiality with which she had honoured me If I were mortified with the
coldness the ruggedness and the cruel mistake of principles with which the
village inhabitants repelled my enquiries the mortification I suffered only
drove me more impetuously to seek the cure of my griefs from this object of my
admiration In Laura said I I am secure from these vulgar prejudices I
confide in her justice I am sure she will not cast me off unheard nor without
strictly examining a question on all sides in which every thing that is
valuable to a person she once esteemed may be involved
Thus encouraging myself I turned my steps to the place of her residence As
I passed along I called up all my recollection I summoned my faculties I may
be made miserable said I but it shall not be for want of any exertion of mine
that promises to lead to happiness I will be clear collected simple in
narrative ingenuous in communication I will leave nothing unsaid that the case
may require I will not volunteer any thing that relates to my former
transactions with Mr Falkland but if I find that my present calamity is
connected with those transactions I will not fear but that by an honest
explanation I shall remove it
I knocked at the door A servant appeared and told me that her mistress
hoped I would excuse her she must really beg to dispense with my visit
I was thunderstruck I was rooted to the spot I had been carefully
preparing my mind for every thing that I supposed likely to happen but this
event had not entered into my calculations I roused myself in a partial degree
and walked away without uttering a word
I had not gone far before I perceived one of the workmen following me who
put into my hands a billet The contents were these
Mr Williams
Let me see you no more I have a right at least to expect your
compliance with this requisition and upon that condition I pardon the
enormous impropriety and guilt with which you have conducted yourself
to me and my family
Laura Denison
The sensations with which I read these few lines are indescribable I found in
them a dreadful confirmation of the calamity that on all sides invaded me But
what I felt most was the unmoved coldness with which they appeared to be
written This coldness from Laura my comforter my friend my mother To
dismiss to cast me off for ever without one thought of compunction
I determined however in spite of her requisition and in spite of her
coldness to have an explanation with her I did not despair of conquering the
antipathy she harboured I did not fear that I should rouse her from the vulgar
and unworthy conception of condemning a man in points the most material to his
happiness without stating the accusations that are urged against him and
without hearing him in reply
Though I had no doubt by means of resolution of gaining access to her in
her house yet I preferred taking her unprepared and not warmed against me by
any previous contention Accordingly the next morning at the time she usually
devoted to half an hours air and exercise I hastened to her garden leaped the
paling and concealed myself in an arbour Presently I saw from my retreat the
younger part of the family strolling through the garden and from thence into
the fields but it was not my business to be seen by them I looked after them
however with earnestness unobserved and I could not help asking myself with a
deep and heartfelt sigh whether it were possible that I saw them now for the
last time
They had not advanced far into the fields before their mother made her
appearance I observed in her her usual serenity and sweetness of countenance I
could feel my heart knocking against my ribs My whole frame was in a tumult I
stole out of the arbour and as I advanced nearer my pace became quickened
For Gods sake madam exclaimed I give me a hearing Do not avoid me
She stood still No sir she replied I shall not avoid you I wished you
to dispense with this meeting But since I cannot obtain that I am conscious
of no wrong and therefore though the meeting gives me pain it inspires me
with no fear
Oh madam answered I my friend the object of all my reverence whom I
once ventured to call my mother Can you wish not to hear me Can you have no
anxiety for my justification whatever may be the unfavourable impression you
may have received against me
Not an atom I have neither wish nor inclination to hear you That tale
which in its plain and unadorned state is destructive of the character of him
to whom it relates no colouring can make an honest one
Good God Can you think of condemning a man when you have heard only one
side of his story
Indeed I can replied she with dignity The maxim of hearing both sides may
be very well in some cases but it would be ridiculous to suppose that there are
not cases that at the first mention are too clear to admit the shadow of a
doubt By a wellconcerted defence you may give me new reason to admire your
abilities but I am acquainted with them already I can admire your abilities
without tolerating your character
Madam Amiable exemplary Laura whom in the midst of all your harshness
and inflexibility I honour I conjure you by every thing that is sacred to
tell me what it is that has filled you with this sudden aversion to me
No sir that you shall never obtain from me I have nothing to say to you
I stand still and hear you because virtue disdains to appear abashed and
confounded in the presence of vice Your conduct even at this moment in my
opinion condemns you True virtue refuses the drudgery of explanation and
apology True virtue shines by its own light and needs no art to set it off
You have the first principles of morality as yet to learn
And can you imagine that the most upright conduct is always superior to
the danger of ambiguity
Exactly so Virtue sir consists in actions and not in words The good man
and the bad are characters precisely opposite not characters distinguished
from each other by imperceptible shades The Providence that rules us all has
not permitted us to be left without a clue in the most important of all
questions Eloquence may seek to confound it but it shall be my care to avoid
its deceptive influence I do not wish to have my understanding perverted and
all the differences of things concealed from my apprehension
Madam madam It would be impossible for you to hold this language if you
had not always lived in this obscure retreat if you had ever been conversant
with the passions and institutions of men
It may be so And if that be the case I have great reason to be thankful
to my God who has thus enabled me to preserve the innocence of my heart and
the integrity of my understanding
Can you believe then that ignorance is the only or the safest
preservative of integrity
Sir I told you at first and I repeat to you again that all your
declamation is in vain I wish you would have saved me and yourself that pain
which is the only thing that can possibly result from it But let us suppose
that virtue could ever be the equivocal thing you would have me believe Is it
possible if you had been honest that you would not have acquainted me with
your story Is it possible that you would have left me to have been informed of
it by a mere accident and with all the shocking aggravations you well knew that
accident would give it Is it possible you should have violated the most sacred
of all trusts and have led me unknowingly to admit to the intercourse of my
children a character which if as you pretend it is substantially honest you
cannot deny to be blasted and branded in the face of the whole world Go sir I
despise you You are a monster and not a man I cannot tell whether my personal
situation misleads me but to my thinking this last action of yours is worse
than all the rest Nature has constituted me the protector of my children I
shall always remember and resent the indelible injury you have done them You
have wounded me to the very heart and have taught me to what a pitch the
villainy of man can extend
Madam I can be silent no longer I see that you have by some means come to
a hearing of the story of Mr Falkland
I have I am astonished you have the effrontery to pronounce his name That
name has been a denomination as far back as my memory can reach for the most
exalted of mortals the wisest and most generous of men
Madam I owe it to myself to set you right on this subject Mr Falkland
Mr Williams I see my children returning from the fields and coming this
way The basest action you ever did was the obtruding yourself upon them as an
instructor I insist that you see them no more I command you to be silent I
command you to withdraw If you persist in your absurd resolution of
expostulating with me you must take some other time
I could continue no longer I was in a manner heart broken through the whole
of this dialogue I could not think of protracting the pain of this admirable
woman upon whom though I was innocent of the crimes she imputed to me I had
inflicted so much pain already I yielded to the imperiousness of her commands
and withdrew
I hastened without knowing why from the presence of Laura to my own
habitation Upon entering the house an apartment of which I occupied I found
it totally deserted of its usual inhabitants The woman and her children were
gone to enjoy the freshness of the breeze The husband was engaged in his usual
outdoor occupations The doors of persons of the lower order in this part of
the country are secured in the daytime only with a latch I entered and
went into the kitchen of the family Here as I looked round my eyes
accidentally glanced upon a paper lying in one corner which by some association
I was unable to explain roused in me a strong sensation of suspicion and
curiosity I eagerly went towards it caught it up and found it to be the very
paper of the Wonderful and Surprising History of Caleb Williams the discovery
of which towards the close of my residence in London had produced in me such
inexpressible anguish
This encounter at once cleared up all the mystery that hung upon my late
transactions Abhorred and intolerable certainty succeeded to the doubts which
had haunted my mind It struck me with the rapidity of lightning I felt a
sudden torpor and sickness that pervaded every fibre of my frame
Was there no hope that remained for me Was acquittal useless Was there no
period past or in prospect that could give relief to my sufferings Was the
odious and atrocious falshood that had been invented against me to follow me
wherever I went to strip me of character to deprive me of the sympathy and
good will of mankind to wrest from me the very bread by which life must be
sustained
For the space perhaps of half an hour the agony I felt from this termination
to my tranquillity and the expectation it excited of the enmity which would
follow me through every retreat was such as to bereave me of all consistent
thinking much more of the power of coming to any resolution As soon as this
giddiness and horror of the mind subsided and the deadly calm that invaded my
faculties was no more one stiff and master gale gained the ascendancy and
drove me to an instant desertion of this late cherished retreat I had no
patience to enter into further remonstrance and explanation with the inhabitants
of my present residence I believed that it was in vain to hope to recover that
favourable prepossession and tranquillity I had lately enjoyed In encountering
the prejudices that were thus armed against me I should have to deal with a
variety of dispositions and though I might succeed with some I could not
expect to succeed with all I had seen too much of the reign of triumphant
falshood to have that sanguine confidence in the effects of my innocence which
would have suggested itself to the mind of any other person of my propensities
and my age The recent instance which had occurred in my conversation with
Laura might well contribute to discourage me I could not endure the thought of
opposing the venom that was thus scattered against me in detail and through its
minuter particles If ever it should be necessary to encounter it if I were
pursued like a wild beast till I could no longer avoid turning upon my hunters
I would then turn upon the true author of this unprincipled attack I would
encounter the calumny in its strong hold I would rouse myself to an exertion
hitherto unessayed and by the firmness intrepidity and unalterable constancy
I should display would yet compel mankind to believe Mr Falkland a suborner
and a murderer
Chapter XIV
I hasten to the conclusion of my melancholy story I began to write soon after
the period to which I have now conducted it This was another resource that my
mind ever eager in inventing means to escape from my misery suggested In my
haste to withdraw myself from the retreat in Wales where first the certainty of
Mr Falklands menaces was confirmed to me I left behind me the apparatus of my
etymological enquiries and the papers I had written upon the subject I have
never been able to persuade myself to resume this pursuit It is always
discouraging to begin over again a laborious task and exert ones self to
recover a position we had already occupied I knew not how soon or how abruptly
I might be driven from any new situation the appendages of the study in which I
had engaged were too cumbrous for this state of dependence and uncertainty
they only served to give new sharpness to the enmity of my foe and new
poignancy to my hourlyrenewing distress
But what was of greatest importance and made the deepest impression upon my
mind was my separation from the family of Laura Fool that I was to imagine
that there was any room for me in the abodes of friendship and tranquillity It
was now first that I felt with the most intolerable acuteness how completely I
was cut off from the whole human species Other connections I had gained
comparatively without interest and I saw them dissolved without the
consummation of agony I had never experienced the purest refinements of
friendship but in two instances that of Collins and this of the family of
Laura Solitude separation banishment These are words often in the mouths of
human beings but few men except myself have felt the full latitude of their
meaning The pride of philosophy has taught us to treat man as an individual He
is no such thing He holds necessarily indispensibly to his species He is
like those twinbirths that have two heads indeed and four hands but if you
attempt to detach them from each other they are inevitably subjected to
miserable and lingering destruction
It was this circumstance more than all the rest that gradually gorged my
heart with abhorrence of Mr Falkland I could not think of his name but with a
sickness and a loathing that seemed more than human It was by his means that
I suffered the loss of one consolation after another of every thing that was
happiness or that had the resemblance of happiness
The writing of these memoirs served me as a source of avocation for several
years For some time I had a melancholy satisfaction in writing I was better
pleased to retrace the particulars of calamities that had formerly afflicted me
than to look forward as at other times I was too apt to do to those by which I
might hereafter be overtaken I conceived that my story faithfully digested
would carry in it an impression of truth that few men would be able to resist
or at worst that by leaving it behind me when I should no longer continue to
exist posterity might be induced to do me justice and seeing in my example
what sort of evils are entailed upon mankind by society as it is at present
constituted might be inclined to turn their attention upon the fountain from
which such bitter waters have been accustomed to flow But these motives have
diminished in their influence I have contracted a disgust for life and all its
appendages Writing which was at first a pleasure is changed into a burthen I
shall compress into a small compass what remains to be told
I discovered not long after the period of which I am speaking the precise
cause of the reverse I had experienced in my residence in Wales and included in
that cause what it was I had to look for in my future adventures Mr Falkland
had taken the infernal Gines into his pay a man critically qualified for the
service in which he was now engaged by the unfeeling brutality of his temper
by his habits of mind at once audacious and artful and by the peculiar
animosity and vengeance he had conceived against me The employment to which
this man was hired was that of following me from place to place blasting my
reputation and preventing me from the chance by continuing long in one
residence of acquiring a character for integrity that should give new weight to
any accusation I might at a future time be induced to prefer He had come to the
seat of my residence with the bricklayers and labourers I have mentioned and
while he took care to keep out of sight so far as related to me was industrious
in disseminating that which in the eye of the world seemed to amount to a
demonstration of the profligacy and detestableness of my character It was no
doubt from him that the detested scroll had been procured which I had found in
my habitation immediately prior to my quitting it In all this Mr Falkland
reasoning upon his principles was only employing a necessary precaution There
was something in the temper of his mind that impressed him with aversion to the
idea of violently putting an end to my existence at the same time that
unfortunately he could never deem himself sufficiently secured against my
recrimination so long as I remained alive As to the fact of Gines being
retained by him for this tremendous purpose he by no means desired that it
should become generally known but neither did he look upon the possibility of
its being known with terror It was already too notorious for his wishes that I
had advanced the most odious charges against him If he regarded me with
abhorrence as the adversary of his fame those persons who had had occasion to
be in any degree acquainted with our history did not entertain less abhorrence
against me for my own sake If they should at any time know the pains he exerted
in causing my evil reputation to follow me they would consider it as an act of
impartial justice perhaps as a generous anxiety to prevent other men from being
imposed upon and injured as he had been
What expedient was I to employ for the purpose of counteracting the
meditated and barbarous prudence which was thus destined in all changes of
scene to deprive me of the benefits and consolations of human society There was
one expedient against which I was absolutely determined disguise I had
experienced so many mortifications and such intolerable restraint when I
formerly had recourse to it it was associated in my memory with sensations of
such acute anguish that my mind was thus far entirely convinced Life was not
worth purchasing at so high a price But though in this respect I was wholly
resolved there was another point that did not appear so material and in which
therefore I was willing to accommodate myself to circumstances I was contented
if that would insure my peace to submit to the otherwise unmanly expedient of
passing by a different name
But the change of my name the abruptness with which I removed from place to
place the remoteness and the obscurity which I proposed to myself in the choice
of my abode were all insufficient to elude the sagacity of Gines or the
unrelenting constancy with which Mr Falkland incited my tormentor to pursue me
Whithersoever I removed myself it was not long before I had occasion to
perceive this detested adversary in my rear No words can enable me to do
justice to the sensations which this circumstance produced in me It was like
what has been described of the eye of omniscience pursuing the guilty sinner
and darting a ray that awakens him to new sensibility at the very moment that
otherwise exhausted nature would lull him into a temporary oblivion of the
reproaches of his conscience Sleep fled from my eyes No walls could hide me
from the discernment of this hated foe Every where his industry was unwearied
to create for me new distress Rest I had none relief I had none never could I
count upon an instants security never could I wrap myself for a moment in the
shroud of oblivion The minutes in which I did not actually perceive him were
contaminated and blasted with the certain expectation of his speedy
interference In my first retreat I had passed a few weeks of delusive
tranquillity but never after was I happy enough to attain so much as that
shadowy gratification I spent some years in this dreadful vicissitude of pain
My sensations at certain periods amounted to insanity
I pursued in every succeeding instance the conduct I had adopted at first I
determined never to enter into a contest of accusation and defence with the
execrable Gines If I could have submitted to it in other respects what purpose
would it answer I should have but an imperfect and mutilated story to tell
This story had succeeded with persons already prepossessed in my favour by
personal intercourse but could it succeed with strangers It had succeeded so
long as I was able to hide myself from my pursuers but could it succeed now
that this appeared impracticable and that they proceeded by arming against me a
whole vicinity at once
It is inconceivable the mischiefs that this kind of existence included Why
should I insist upon such aggravations as hunger beggary and external
wretchedness These were an inevitable consequence It was by the desertion of
mankind that in each successive instance I was made acquainted with my fate
Delay in such a moment served but to increase the evil and when I fled
meagreness and penury were the ordinary attendants of my course But this was a
small consideration Indignation at one time and unconquerable perseverance at
another sustained me where humanity left to itself would probably have sunk
It has already appeared that I was not of a temper to endure calamity
without endeavouring by every means I could devise to elude and disarm it
Recollecting as I was habituated to do the various projects by which my
situation could be meliorated the question occurred to me Why should I be
harassed by the pursuit of this Gines why man to man may I not by the powers
of my mind attain the ascendancy over him at present he appears to be the
persecutor and I the persecuted is not this difference the mere creature of the
imagination may I not employ my ingenuity to vex him with difficulties and
laugh at the endless labour to which he will be condemned
Alas this is a speculation for a mind at ease It is not the persecution
but the catastrophe which is annexed to it that makes the difference between
the tyrant and the sufferer In mere corporal exertion the hunter perhaps is
upon a level with the miserable animal he pursues But could it be forgotten by
either of us that at every stage Gines was to gratify his malignant passions by
disseminating charges of the most infamous nature and exciting against me the
abhorrence of every honest bosom while I was to sustain the still repeated
annihilation of my peace my character and my bread Could I by any refinement
of reason convert this dreadful series into sport I had no philosophy that
qualified me for so extraordinary an effort If under other circumstances I
could even have entertained so strange an imagination I was restrained in the
present instance by the necessity of providing for myself the means of
subsistence and the fetters which through that necessity the forms of human
society imposed upon my exertions
In one of those changes of residence to which my miserable fate repeatedly
compelled me I met upon a road which I was obliged to traverse the friend of
my youth my earliest and best beloved friend the venerable Collins It was one
of those misfortunes which served to accumulate my distress that this man had
quitted the island of Great Britain only a very few weeks before that fatal
reverse of fortune which had ever since pursued me with unrelenting eagerness
Mr Falkland in addition to the large estate he possessed in England had a
very valuable plantation in the West Indies This property had been greatly
mismanaged by the person who had the direction of it on the spot and after
various promises and evasions on his part which however they might serve to
beguile the patience of Mr Falkland had been attended with no salutary fruits
it was resolved that Mr Collins should go over in person to rectify the abuses
which had so long prevailed There had even been some idea of his residing
several years if not settling finally upon the plantation From that hour to
the present I had never received the smallest intelligence respecting him
I had always considered the circumstance of his critical absence as one of
my severest misfortunes Mr Collins had been one of the first persons even in
the period of my infancy to conceive hopes of me as of something above the
common standard and had contributed more than any other to encourage and assist
my juvenile studies He had been the executor of the little property of my
father who had fixed upon him for that purpose in consideration of the mutual
affection that existed between us and I seemed on every account to have more
claim upon his protection than upon that of any other human being I had always
believed that had he been present in the crisis of my fortune he would have
felt conviction of my innocence and convinced himself would by means of the
venerableness and energy of his character have interposed so effectually as to
have saved me the greater part of my subsequent misfortunes
There was yet another idea in my mind relative to this subject which had
more weight with me than even the substantial exertions of friendship I should
have expected from him The greatest aggravation of my present lot was that I
was cut off from the friendship of mankind I can safely affirm that poverty
and hunger that endless wanderings that a blasted character and the curses
that clung to my name were all of them slight misfortunes compared to this I
endeavoured to sustain myself by the sense of my integrity but the voice of no
man upon earth echoed to the voice of my conscience »I called aloud but there
was none to answer there was none that regarded« To me the whole world was as
unhearing as the tempest and as cold as the torpedo Sympathy the magnetic
virtue the hidden essence of our life was extinct Nor was this the sum of my
misery This food so essential to an intelligent existence seemed perpetually
renewing before me in its fairest colours only the more effectually to elude my
grasp and to mock my hunger From time to time I was prompted to unfold the
affections of my soul only to be repelled with the greater anguish and to be
baffled in a way the most intolerably mortifying
No sight therefore could give me a purer delight than that which now
presented itself to my eyes It was some time however before either of us
recognised the person of the other Ten years had elapsed since our last
interview Mr Collins looked much older than he had done at that period in
addition to which he was in his present appearance pale sickly and thin These
unfavourable effects had been produced by the change of climate particularly
trying to persons in an advanced period of life Add to which I supposed him to
be at that moment in the West Indies I was probably as much altered in the
period that had elapsed as he had been I was the first to recollect him He was
on horseback I on foot I had suffered him to pass me In a moment the full
idea of who he was rushed upon my mind I ran I called with an impetuous voice
I was unable to restrain the vehemence of my emotions
The ardour of my feelings disguised my usual tone of speaking which
otherwise Mr Collins would infallibly have recognised His sight was already
dim he pulled up his horse till I should overtake him and then said Who are
you I do not know you
My father exclaimed I embracing one of his knees with fervour and delight
I am your son once your little Caleb whom you a thousand times loaded with
your kindness
The unexpected repetition of my name gave a kind of shuddering emotion to my
friend which was however checked by his age and the calm and benevolent
philosophy that formed one of his most conspicuous habits
I did not expect to see you replied he I did not wish it
My best my oldest friend answered I respect blending itself with my
impatience Do not say so I have not a friend any where in the whole world but
you In you at least let me find sympathy and reciprocal affection If you knew
how anxiously I have thought of you during the whole period of your absence you
would not thus grievously disappoint me in your return
How is it said Mr Collins gravely that you have been reduced to this
forlorn condition Was it not the inevitable consequence of your own actions
The actions of others not mine Does not your heart tell you that I am
innocent
No My observation of your early character taught me that you would be
extraordinary But unhappily all extraordinary men are not good men that seems
to be a lottery dependent on circumstances apparently the most trivial
Will you hear my justification I am as sure as I am of my existence that I
can convince you of my purity
Certainly if you require it I will hear you But that must not be just
now I could have been glad to decline it wholly At my age I am not fit for the
storm and I am not so sanguine as you in my expectation of the result Of what
would you convince me That Mr Falkland is a suborner and murderer
I made no answer My silence was an affirmative to the question
And what benefit will result from this conviction I have known you a
promising boy whose character might turn to one side or the other as events
should decide I have known Mr Falkland in his maturer years and have always
admired him as the living model of liberality and goodness If you could change
all my ideas and show me that there was no criterion by which vice might be
prevented from being mistaken for virtue what benefit would arise from that I
must part with all my interior consolation and all my external connections And
for what What is it you propose The death of Mr Falkland by the hands of the
hangman
No I will not hurt a hair of his head unless compelled to it by a
principle of defence But surely you owe me justice
What justice The justice of proclaiming your innocence You know what
consequences are annexed to that But I do not believe I shall find you
innocent If you even succeed in perplexing my understanding you will not
succeed in enlightening it Such is the state of mankind that innocence when
involved in circumstances of suspicion can scarcely ever make out a
demonstration of its purity and guilt can often make us feel an insurmountable
reluctance to the pronouncing it guilt Meanwhile for the purchase of this
uncertainty I must sacrifice all the remaining comforts of my life I believe
Mr Falkland to be virtuous but I know him to be prejudiced He would never
forgive me even this accidental parley if by any means he should come to be
acquainted with it
Oh argue not the consequences that are possible to result answered I
impatiently I have a right to your kindness I have a right to your assistance
You have them You have them to a certain degree and it is not likely that
by any process of examination you can have them entire You know my habits of
thinking I regard you as vicious but I do not consider the vicious as proper
objects of indignation and scorn I consider you as a machine you are not
constituted I am afraid to be greatly useful to your fellow men but you did
not make yourself you are just what circumstances irresistibly compelled you to
be I am sorry for your ill properties but I entertain no enmity against you
nothing but benevolence Considering you in the light in which I at present
consider you I am ready to contribute every thing in my power to your real
advantage and would gladly assist you if I knew how in detecting and
extirpating the errors that have misled you You have disappointed me but I
have no reproaches to utter it is more necessary for me to feel compassion for
you than that I should accumulate your misfortune by my censures
What could I say to such a man as this Amiable incomparable man Never was
my mind more painfully divided than at that moment The more he excited my
admiration the more imperiously did my heart command me whatever were the
price it should cost to extort his friendship I was persuaded that severe duty
required of him that he should reject all personal considerations that he
should proceed resolutely to the investigation of the truth and that if he
found the result terminating in my favour he should resign all his advantages
and deserted as I was by the world make a common cause and endeavour to
compensate the general injustice But was it for me to force this conduct upon
him if now in his declining years his own fortitude shrunk from it Alas
neither he nor I foresaw the dreadful catastrophe that was so closely impending
Otherwise I am well assured that no tenderness for his remaining tranquillity
would have withheld him from a compliance with my wishes On the other hand
could I pretend to know what evils might result to him from his declaring
himself my advocate Might not his integrity be browbeaten and defeated as mine
had been Did the imbecility of his grey hairs afford no advantage to my
terrible adversary in the contest Might not Mr Falkland reduce him to a
condition as wretched and low as mine After all was it not vice in me to
desire to involve another man in my sufferings If I regarded them as
intolerable this was still an additional reason why I should bear them alone
Influenced by these considerations I assented to his views I assented to
be thought hardly of by the man in the world whose esteem I most ardently
desired rather than involve him in possible calamity I assented to the
resigning what appeared to me at that moment as the last practicable comfort of
my life a comfort upon the thought of which while I surrendered it my mind
dwelt with undescribable longings Mr Collins was deeply affected with the
apparent ingenuousness with which I expressed my feelings The secret struggle
of his mind was Can this be hypocrisy The individual with whom I am
conferring if virtuous is one of the most disinterestedly virtuous persons in
the world We tore ourselves from each other Mr Collins promised as far as he
was able to have an eye upon my vicissitudes and to assist me in every respect
that was at all consistent with a just recollection of consequences Thus I
parted as it were with the last expiring hope of my mind and voluntarily
consented thus maimed and forlorn to encounter all the evils that were yet in
store for me
This is the latest event which at present I think it necessary to record I
shall doubtless hereafter have further occasion to take up the pen Great and
unprecedented as my sufferings have been I feel intimately persuaded that there
are worse sufferings that await me What mysterious cause is it that enables me
to write this and not to perish under the horrible apprehension
Chapter XV
It is as I foreboded The presage with which I was visited was prophetic I am
now to record a new and terrible revolution of my fortune and my mind
Having made experiment of various situations with one uniform result I at
length determined to remove myself if possible from the reach of my
persecutor by going into voluntary banishment from my native soil This was my
last resource for tranquillity for honest fame for those privileges to which
human life is indebted for the whole of its value In some distant climate said
I surely I may find that security which is necessary to persevering pursuit
surely I may lift my head erect associate with men upon the footing of a man
acquire connections and preserve them It is inconceivable with what ardent
reachings of the soul I aspired to this termination
This last consolation was denied me by the inexorable Falkland
At the time the project was formed I was at no great distance from the east
coast of the island and I resolved to take ship at Harwich and pass
immediately into Holland I accordingly repaired to that place and went almost
as soon as I arrived to the port But there was no vessel perfectly ready to
sail I left the port and withdrew to an inn where after some time I retired
to a chamber I was scarcely there before the door of the room was opened and
the man whose countenance was the most hateful to my eyes Gines entered the
apartment He shut the door as soon as he entered
Youngster said he I have a little private intelligence to communicate to
you I come as a friend and that I may save you a labourinvain trouble If
you consider what I have to say in that light it will be the better for you It
is my business now do you see for want of a better to see that you do not
break out of bounds Not that I much matter having one man for my employer or
dancing attendance after anothers heels but I have a special kindness for you
for some good turns that you wot of and therefore I do not stand upon
ceremonies You have led me a very pretty round already and out of the love I
bear you you shall lead me as much farther if you will But beware the salt
seas They are out of my orders You are a prisoner at present and I believe
all your life will remain so Thanks to the milkandwater softness of your
former master If I had the ordering of these things it should go with you in
another fashion As long as you think proper you are a prisoner within the
rules and the rules with which the softhearted squire indulges you are all
England Scotland and Wales But you are not to go out of these climates The
squire is determined you shall never pass the reach of his disposal He has
therefore given orders that whenever you attempt so to do you shall be
converted from a prisoner at large to a prisoner in good earnest A friend of
mine followed you just now to the harbour I was within call and if there had
been any appearance of your setting your foot from land we should have been
with you in a trice and laid you fast by the heels I would advise you for the
future to keep at a proper distance from the sea for fear of the worst You see
I tell you all this for your good For my part I should be better satisfied if
you were in limbo with a rope about your neck and a comfortable birdseye
prospect to the gallows but I do as I am directed and so good night to you
The intelligence thus conveyed to me occasioned an instantaneous revolution
in both my intellectual and animal system I disdained to answer or take the
smallest notice of the fiend by whom it was delivered It is now three days
since I received it and from that moment to the present my blood has been in a
perpetual ferment My thoughts wander from one idea of horror to another with
incredible rapidity I have had no sleep I have scarcely remained in one
posture for a minute together It has been with the utmost difficulty that I
have been able to command myself far enough to add a few pages to my story But
uncertain as I am of the events of each succeeding hour I determined to force
myself to the performance of this task All is not right within me How it will
terminate God knows I sometimes fear that I shall be wholly deserted of my
reason
What dark mysterious unfeeling unrelenting tyrant is it come to
this When Nero and Caligula swayed the Roman sceptre it was a fearful thing
to offend these bloody rulers The empire had already spread itself from climate
to climate and from sea to sea If their unhappy victim fled to the rising of
the sun where the luminary of day seems to us first to ascend from the waves of
the ocean the power of the tyrant was still behind him If he withdrew to the
west to Hesperian darkness and the shores of barbarian Thule still he was not
safe from his goredrenched foe Falkland art thou the offspring in whom the
lineaments of these tyrants are faithfully preserved Was the world with all its
climates made in vain for thy helpless unoffending victim
Tremble
Tyrants have trembled surrounded with whole armies of their Janissaries What
should make thee inaccessible to my fury No I will use no daggers I will
unfold a tale I will show thee for what thou art and all the men that live
shall confess my truth Didst thou imagine that I was altogether passive a
mere worm organized to feel sensations of pain but no emotion of resentment
Didst thou imagine that there was no danger in inflicting on me pains however
great miseries however dreadful Didst thou believe me impotent imbecil and
idiotlike with no understanding to contrive thy ruin and no energy to
perpetrate it
I will tell a tale The justice of the country shall hear me The elements
of nature in universal uproar shall not interrupt me I will speak with a voice
more fearful than thunder Why should I be supposed to speak from any
dishonourable motive I am under no prosecution now I shall not now appear to
be endeavouring to remove a criminal indictment from myself by throwing it back
on its author Shall I regret the ruin that will overwhelm thee Too long have
I been tenderhearted and forbearing What benefit has ever resulted from my
mistaken clemency There is no evil thou hast scrupled to accumulate upon me
Neither will I be more scrupulous Thou hast shown no mercy and thou shalt
receive none I must be calm Bold as a lion yet collected
This is a moment pregnant with fate I know I think I know that I will
be triumphant and crush my seemingly omnipotent foe But should it be
otherwise at least he shall not be every way successful His fame shall not be
immortal as he thinks These papers shall preserve the truth they shall one
day be published and then the world shall do justice on us both Recollecting
that I shall not die wholly without consolation It is not to be endured that
falshood and tyranny should reign for ever
How impotent are the precautions of man against the eternally existing laws
of the intellectual world This Falkland has invented against me every species
of foul accusation He has hunted me from city to city He has drawn his lines
of circumvallation round me that I may not escape He has kept his scenters of
human prey for ever at my heels He may hunt me out of the world In vain
With this engine this little pen I defeat all his machinations I stab him in
the very point he was most solicitous to defend
Collins I now address myself to you I have consented that you should yield
me no assistance in my present terrible situation I am content to die rather
than do any thing injurious to your tranquillity But remember you are my
father still I conjure you by all the love you ever bore me by the benefits
you have conferred on me by the forbearance and kindness towards you that now
penetrates my soul by my innocence for if these be the last words I shall
ever write I die protesting my innocence by all these or whatever tie more
sacred has influence on your soul I conjure you listen to my last request
Preserve these papers from destruction and preserve them from Falkland It is
all I ask I have taken care to provide a safe mode of conveying them into your
possession and I have a firm confidence which I will not suffer to depart from
me that they will one day find their way to the public
The pen lingers in my trembling fingers Is there any thing I have left
unsaid The contents of the fatal trunk from which all my misfortunes
originated I have never been able to ascertain I once thought it contained
some murderous instrument or relique connected with the fate of the unhappy
Tyrrel I am now persuaded that the secret it incloses is a faithful narrative
of that and its concomitant transactions written by Mr Falkland and reserved
in case of the worst that if by any unforeseen event his guilt should come to
be fully disclosed it might contribute to redeem the wreck of his reputation
But the truth or the falshood of this conjecture is of little moment If
Falkland shall never be detected to the satisfaction of the world such a
narrative will probably never see the light In that case this story of mine may
amply severely perhaps supply its place
I know not what it is that renders me thus solemn I have a secret
foreboding as if I should never again be master of myself If I succeed in what
I now meditate respecting Falkland my precaution in the disposal of these
papers will have been unnecessary I shall no longer be reduced to artifice and
evasion If I fail the precaution will appear to have been wisely chosen
Postscript
All is over I have carried into execution my meditated attempt My situation is
totally changed I now sit down to give an account of it For several weeks
after the completion of this dreadful business my mind was in too tumultuous a
state to permit me to write I think I shall now be able to arrange my thoughts
sufficiently for that purpose Great God how wondrous how terrible are the
events that have intervened since I was last employed in a similar manner It is
no wonder that my thoughts were solemn and my mind filled with horrible
forebodings
Having formed my resolution I set out from Harwich for the metropolitan town
of the county in which Mr Falkland resided Gines I well knew was in my rear
That was of no consequence to me He might wonder at the direction I pursued
but he could not tell with what purpose I pursued it My design was a secret
carefully locked up in my own breast It was not without a sentiment of terror
that I entered a town which had been the scene of my long imprisonment I
proceeded to the house of the chief magistrate the instant I arrived that I
might give no time to my adversary to counterwork my proceeding
I told him who I was and that I was come from a distant part of the kingdom
for the purpose of rendering him the medium of a charge of murder against my
former patron My name was already familiar to him He answered that he could
not take cognizance of my deposition that I was an object of universal
execration in that part of the world and he was determined upon no account to
be the vehicle of my depravity
I warned him to consider well what he was doing I called upon him for no
favour I only applied to him in the regular exercise of his function Would he
take upon him to say that he had a right at his pleasure to suppress a charge of
this complicated nature I had to accuse Mr Falkland of repeated murders The
perpetrator knew that I was in possession of the truth upon the subject and
knowing that I went perpetually in danger of my life from his malice and
revenge I was resolved to go through with the business if justice were to be
obtained from any court in England Upon what pretence did he refuse my
deposition I was in every respect a competent witness I was of age to
understand the nature of an oath I was in my perfect senses I was untarnished
by the verdict of any jury or the sentence of any judge His private opinion of
my character could not alter the law of the land I demanded to be confronted
with Mr Falkland and I was well assured I should substantiate the charge to
the satisfaction of the whole world If he did not think proper to apprehend him
upon my single testimony I should be satisfied if he only sent him notice of
the charge and summoned him to appear
The magistrate finding me thus resolute thought proper a little to lower
his tone He no longer absolutely refused to comply with my requisition but
condescended to expostulate with me He represented to me Mr Falklands health
which had for some years been exceedingly indifferent his having been once
already brought to the most solemn examination upon this charge the diabolical
malice in which alone my proceeding must have originated and the tenfold ruin
it would bring down upon my own head To all these representations my answer was
short I was determined to go on and would abide the consequences A summons
was at length granted and notice sent to Mr Falkland of the charge preferred
against him
Three days elapsed before any farther step could be taken in this business
This interval in no degree contributed to tranquillise my mind The thought of
preferring a capital accusation against and hastening the death of such a man
as Mr Falkland was by no means an opiate to reflection At one time I
commended the action either as just revenge for the benevolence of my nature
was in a great degree turned to gall or as necessary selfdefence or as that
which in an impartial and philanthropical estimate included the smallest evil
At another time I was haunted with doubts But spite of these variations of
sentiment I uniformly determined to persist I felt as if impelled by a tide of
unconquerable impulse The consequences were such as might well appal the
stoutest heart Either the ignominious execution of a man whom I had once so
deeply venerated and whom now I sometimes suspected not to be without his
claims to veneration or a confirmation perhaps an increase of the calamities
I had so long endured Yet these I preferred to a state of uncertainty I
desired to know the worst to put an end to the hope however faint which had
been so long my torment and above all to exhaust and finish the catalogue of
expedients that were at my disposition My mind was worked up to a state little
short of frenzy My body was in a burning fever with the agitation of my
thoughts When I laid my hand upon my bosom or my head it seemed to scorch them
with the fervency of its heat I could not sit still for a moment I panted with
incessant desire that the dreadful crisis I had so eagerly invoked were come
and were over
After an interval of three days I met Mr Falkland in the presence of the
magistrate to whom I had applied upon the subject I had only two hours notice
to prepare myself Mr Falkland seeming as eager as I to have the question
brought to a crisis and laid at rest for ever I had an opportunity before the
examination to learn that Mr Forester was drawn by some business on an
excursion to the continent and that Collins whose health when I saw him was in
a very precarious state was at this time confined with alarming illness His
constitution had been wholly broken with his West Indian voyage The audience I
met at the house of the magistrate consisted of several gentlemen and others
selected for the purpose the plan being in some respects as in the former
instance to find a medium between the suspicious air of a private examination
and the indelicacy as it was styled of an examination exposed to the remark of
every casual spectator
I can conceive of no shock greater than that I received from the sight of
Mr Falkland His appearance on the last occasion on which we met had been
haggard ghostlike and wild energy in his gestures and frenzy in his aspect
It was now the appearance of a corpse He was brought in in a chair unable to
stand fatigued and almost destroyed by the journey he had just taken His
visage was colourless his limbs destitute of motion almost of life His head
reclined upon his bosom except that now and then he lifted it up and opened his
eyes with a languid glance immediately after which he sunk back into his former
apparent insensibility He seemed not to have three hours to live He had kept
his chamber for several weeks but the summons of the magistrate had been
delivered to him at his bedside his orders respecting letters and written
papers being so peremptory that no one dared to disobey them Upon reading the
paper he was seized with a very dangerous fit but as soon as he recovered he
insisted upon being conveyed with all practicable expedition to the place of
appointment Falkland in the most helpless state was still Falkland firm in
command and capable to extort obedience from every one that approached him
What a sight was this to me Till the moment that Falkland was presented to
my view my breast was steeled to pity I thought that I had coolly entered into
the reason of the case passion in a state of solemn and omnipotent vehemence
always appears to be coolness to him in whom it domineers and that I had
determined impartially and justly I believed that if Mr Falkland were
permitted to persist in his schemes we must both of us be completely wretched
I believed that it was in my power by the resolution I had formed to throw my
share of this wretchedness from me and that his could scarcely be increased It
appeared therefore to my mind to be a mere piece of equity and justice such as
an impartial spectator would desire that one person should be miserable in
preference to two that one person rather than two should be incapacitated from
acting his part and contributing his share to the general welfare I thought
that in this business I had risen superior to personal considerations and
judged with a total neglect of the suggestions of selfregard It is true Mr
Falkland was mortal but notwithstanding his apparent decay he might live
long Ought I to submit to waste the best years of my life in my present
wretched situation He had declared that his reputation should be for ever
inviolate this was his ruling passion the thought that worked his soul to
madness He would probably therefore leave a legacy of persecution to be
received by me from the hands of Gines or some other villain equally atrocious
when he should himself be no more Now or never was the time for me to redeem my
future life from endless woe
But all these finespun reasonings vanished before the object that was now
presented to me Shall I trample upon a man thus dreadfully reduced Shall I
point my animosity against one whom the system of nature has brought down to the
grave Shall I poison with sounds the most intolerable to his ears the last
moments of a man like Falkland It is impossible There must have been some
dreadful mistake in the train of argument that persuaded me to be the author of
this hateful scene There must have been a better and more magnanimous remedy to
the evils under which I groaned
It was too late The mistake I had committed was now gone past all power of
recal Here was Falkland solemnly brought before a magistrate to answer a charge
of murder Here I stood having already declared myself the author of the
charge gravely and sacredly pledged to support it This was my situation and
thus situated I was called upon immediately to act My whole frame shook I
would eagerly have consented that that moment should have been the last of my
existence I however believed that the conduct now most indispensibly incumbent
on me was to lay the emotions of my soul naked before my hearers I looked
first at Mr Falkland and then at the magistrate and attendants and then at
Mr Falkland again My voice was suffocated with agony I began
Why cannot I recal the four last days of my life How was it possible for me
to be so eager so obstinate in a purpose so diabolical Oh that I had listened
to the expostulations of the magistrate that hears me or submitted to the well
meant despotism of his authority Hitherto I have only been miserable
henceforth I shall account myself base Hitherto though hardly treated by
mankind I stood acquitted at the bar of my own conscience I had not filled up
the measure of my wretchedness
Would to God it were possible for me to retire from this scene without
uttering another word I would brave the consequences I would submit to any
imputation of cowardice falshood and profligacy rather than add to the weight
of misfortune with which Mr Falkland is overwhelmed But the situation and the
demands of Mr Falkland himself forbid me He in compassion for whose fallen
state I would willingly forget every interest of my own would compel me to
accuse that he might enter upon his justification I will confess every
sentiment of my heart
No penitence no anguish can expiate the folly and the cruelty of this last
act I have perpetrated But Mr Falkland well knows I affirm it in his
presence how unwillingly I have proceeded to this extremity I have reverenced
him he was worthy of reverence I have loved him he was endowed with qualities
that partook of divine
From the first moment I saw him I conceived the most ardent admiration He
condescended to encourage me I attached myself to him with the fulness of my
affection He was unhappy I exerted myself with youthful curiosity to discover
the secret of his woe This was the beginning of misfortune
What shall I say He was indeed the murderer of Tyrrel he suffered the
Hawkinses to be executed knowing that they were innocent and that he alone was
guilty After successive surmises after various indiscretions on my part and
indications on his he at length confided to me at full the fatal tale
Mr Falkland I most solemnly conjure you to recollect yourself Did I ever
prove myself unworthy of your confidence The secret was a most painful burthen
to me it was the extremest folly that led me unthinkingly to gain possession of
it but I would have died a thousand deaths rather than betray it It was the
jealousy of your own thoughts and the weight that hung upon your mind that led
you to watch my motions and conceive alarm from every particle of my conduct
You began in confidence why did you not continue in confidence The evil
that resulted from my original imprudence would then have been comparatively
little You threatened me did I then betray you A word from my lips at that
time would have freed me from your threats for ever I bore them for a
considerable period and at last quitted your service and threw myself a
fugitive upon the world in silence Why did you not suffer me to depart You
brought me back by stratagem and violence and wantonly accused me of an
enormous felony did I then mention a syllable of the murder the secret of
which was in my possession
Where is the man that has suffered more from the injustice of society than I
have done I was accused of a villainy that my heart abhorred I was sent to
jail I will not enumerate the horrors of my prison the lightest of which would
make the heart of humanity shudder I looked forward to the gallows Young
ambitious fond of life innocent as the child unborn I looked forward to the
gallows I believed that one word of resolute accusation against my patron would
deliver me yet I was silent I armed myself with patience uncertain whether it
were better to accuse or to die Did this show me a man unworthy to be trusted
I determined to break out of prison With infinite difficulty and repeated
miscarriages I at length effected my purpose Instantly a proclamation with a
hundred guineas reward was issued for apprehending me I was obliged to take
shelter among the refuse of mankind in the midst of a gang of thieves I
encountered the most imminent peril of my life when I entered into this retreat
and when I quitted it Immediately after I travelled almost the whole length of
the kingdom in poverty and distress in hourly danger of being retaken and
manacled like a felon I would have fled my country I was prevented I had
recourse to various disguises I was innocent and yet was compelled to as many
arts and subterfuges as could have been entailed on the worst of villains In
London I was as much harrassed and as repeatedly alarmed as I had been in my
flight through the country Did all these persecutions persuade me to put an end
to my silence No I suffered them with patience and submission I did not make
one attempt to retort them upon their author I fell at last into the hands of
the miscreants that are nourished with human blood In this terrible situation I
for the first time attempted by turning informer to throw the weight from
myself Happily for me the London magistrate listened to my tale with insolent
contempt
I soon and long repented of my rashness and rejoiced in my miscarriage I
acknowledge that in various ways Mr Falkland showed humanity towards me during
this period He would have prevented my going to prison at first he contributed
to my subsistence during my detention he had no share in the pursuit that had
been set on foot against me he at length procured my discharge when brought
forward for trial But a great part of his forbearance was unknown to me I
supposed him to be my unrelenting pursuer I could not forget that whoever
heaped calamities on me in the sequel they all originated in his forged
accusation
The prosecution against me for felony was now at end Why were not my
sufferings permitted to terminate then and I allowed to hide my weary head in
some obscure yet tranquil retreat Had I not sufficiently proved my constancy
and fidelity Would not a compromise in this situation have been most wise and
most secure But the restless and jealous anxiety of Mr Falkland would not
permit him to repose the least atom of confidence The only compromise that he
proposed was that with my own hand I should sign myself a villain I refused
this proposal and have ever since been driven from place to place deprived of
peace of honest fame even of bread For a long time I persisted in the
resolution that no emergency should convert me into the assailant In evil hour
I at last listened to my resentment and impatience and the hateful mistake into
which I fell has produced the present scene
I now see that mistake in all its enormity I am sure that if I had opened
my heart to Mr Falkland if I had told to him privately the tale that I have
now been telling he could not have resisted my reasonable demand After all his
precautions he must ultimately have depended upon my forbearance Could he be
sure that if I were at last worked up to disclose every thing I knew and to
inforce it with all the energy I could exert I should obtain no credit If he
must in every case be at my mercy in which mode ought he to have sought his
safety in conciliation or in inexorable cruelty
Mr Falkland is of a noble nature Yes in spite of the catastrophe of
Tyrrel of the miserable end of the Hawkinses and of all that I have myself
suffered I affirm that he has qualities of the most admirable kind It is
therefore impossible that he could have resisted a frank and fervent
expostulation the frankness and the fervour in which the whole soul was poured
out I despaired while it was yet time to have made the just experiment but my
despair was criminal was treason against the sovereignty of truth
I have told a plain and unadulterated tale I came hither to curse but I
remain to bless I came to accuse but am compelled to applaud I proclaim to
all the world that Mr Falkland is a man worthy of affection and kindness and
that I am myself the basest and most odious of mankind Never will I forgive
myself the iniquity of this day The memory will always haunt me and embitter
every hour of my existence In thus acting I have been a murderer a cool
deliberate unfeeling murderer I have said what my accursed precipitation has
obliged me to say Do with me as you please I ask no favour Death would be a
kindness compared to what I feel
Such were the accents dictated by my remorse I poured them out with
uncontrolable impetuosity for my heart was pierced and I was compelled to give
vent to its anguish Every one that heard me was petrified with astonishment
Every one that heard me was melted into tears They could not resist the ardour
with which I praised the great qualities of Falkland they manifested their
sympathy in the tokens of my penitence
How shall I describe the feelings of this unfortunate man Before I began
he seemed sunk and debilitated incapable of any strenuous impression When I
mentioned the murder I could perceive in him an involuntary shuddering though
it was counteracted partly by the feebleness of his frame and partly by the
energy of his mind This was an allegation he expected and he had endeavoured
to prepare himself for it But there was much of what I said of which he had
had no previous conception When I expressed the anguish of my mind he seemed
at first startled and alarmed lest this should be a new expedient to gain credit
to my tale His indignation against me was great for having retained all my
resentment towards him thus as it might be to the last hour of his existence
It was increased when he discovered me as he supposed using a pretence of
liberality and sentiment to give new edge to my hostility But as I went on
he could no longer resist He saw my sincerity he was penetrated with my grief
and compunction He rose from his seat supported by the attendants and to my
infinite astonishment threw himself into my arms
Williams said he you have conquered I see too late the greatness and
elevation of your mind I confess that it is to my fault and not yours that it
is to the excess of jealousy that was ever burning in my bosom that I owe my
ruin I could have resisted any plan of malicious accusation you might have
brought against me But I see that the artless and manly story you have told
has carried conviction to every hearer All my prospects are concluded All that
I most ardently desired is for ever frustrated I have spent a life of the
basest cruelty to cover one act of momentary vice and to protect myself against
the prejudices of my species I stand now completely detected My name will be
consecrated to infamy while your heroism your patience and your virtues will
be for ever admired You have inflicted on me the most fatal of all mischiefs
but I bless the hand that wounds me And now turning to the magistrate and
now do with me as you please I am prepared to suffer all the vengeance of the
law You cannot inflict on me more than I deserve You cannot hate me more than
I hate myself I am the most execrable of all villains I have for many years I
know not how long dragged on a miserable existence in insupportable pain I am
at last in recompense for all my labours and my crimes dismissed from it with
the disappointment of my only remaining hope the destruction of that for the
sake of which alone I consented to exist It was worthy of such a life that it
should continue just long enough to witness this final overthrow If however you
wish to punish me you must be speedy in your justice for as reputation was
the blood that warmed my heart so I feel that death and infamy must seize me
together
I record the praises bestowed on me by Falkland not because I deserve them
but because they serve to aggravate the baseness of my cruelty He survived this
dreadful scene but three days I have been his murderer It was fit that he
should praise my patience who has fallen a victim life and fame to my
precipitation It would have been merciful in comparison if I had planted a
dagger in his heart He would have thanked me for my kindness But atrocious
execrable wretch that I have been I wantonly inflicted on him an anguish a
thousand times worse than death Meanwhile I endure the penalty of my crime His
figure is ever in imagination before me Waking or sleeping I still behold him
He seems mildly to expostulate with me for my unfeeling behaviour I live the
devoted victim of conscious reproach Alas I am the same Caleb Williams that
so short a time ago boasted that however great were the calamities I endured
I was still innocent
Such has been the result of a project I formed for delivering myself from
the evils that had so long attended me I thought that if Falkland were dead I
should return once again to all that makes life worth possessing I thought
that if the guilt of Falkland were established fortune and the world would
smile upon my efforts Both these events are accomplished and it is only now
that I am truly miserable
Why should my reflections perpetually centre upon myself self an
overweening regard to which has been the source of my errors Falkland I will
think only of thee and from that thought will draw ever fresh nourishment for
my sorrows One generous one disinterested tear I will consecrate to thy ashes
A nobler spirit lived not among the sons of men Thy intellectual powers were
truly sublime and thy bosom burned with a godlike ambition But of what use are
talents and sentiments in the corrupt wilderness of human society It is a rank
and rotten soil from which every finer shrub draws poison as it grows All that
in a happier field and a purer air would expand into virtue and germinate into
general usefulness is thus converted into henbane and deadly nightshade
Falkland thou enteredst upon thy carreer with the purest and most laudable
intentions But thou imbibedst the poison of chivalry with thy earliest youth
and the base and lowminded envy that met thee on thy return to thy native
seats operated with this poison to hurry thee into madness Soon too soon by
this fatal coincidence were the blooming hopes of thy youth blasted for ever
From that moment thou only continuedst to live to the phantom of departed
honour From that moment thy benevolence was in a great part turned into
rankling jealousy and inexorable precaution Year after year didst thou spend in
this miserable project of imposture and only at last continuedst to live long
enough to see by my misjudging and abhorred intervention thy closing hope
disappointed and thy death accompanied with the foulest disgrace
I began these memoirs with the idea of vindicating my character I have now
no character that I wish to vindicate but I will finish them that thy story may
be fully understood and that if those errors of thy life be known which thou
so ardently desiredst to conceal the world may at least not hear and repeat a
halftold and mangled tale
Finis
Notes
1 An incident exactly similar to this was witnessed by a friend of the author
a few years since in a visit to the prison of Newgate
2 A story extremely similar to this is to be found in the Newgate Calendar Vol
I p 382
3 See Howard on Prisons
4 In the case of the peine forte et dure See State Trials Vol I anno 1615
5 This seems to be the parody of a celebrated saying of John King of France who
was taken prisoner by the Black Prince at the battle of Poitiers
6 Eugene Aram See Annual Register for 1759
7 William Andrew Horne Ibid