Daniel Defoe
The Fortunes and Misfortunes of the famous Moll Flanders
My True Name is so well known in the Records or Registers at Newgate and in
the Old Bailey and there are some things of such Consequence still depending
there relating to my particular Conduct that it is not to be expected I should
set my Name or the Account of my Family to this Work perhaps after my Death
it may be better known at present it would not be proper no not tho a
general Pardon should be issued even without Exceptions of Persons or Crimes
It is enough to tell you that as some of my worst Comrades who are out of
the Way of doing me Harm having gone out of the World by the Steps and the
String as I often expected to go knew me by the Name of Moll Flanders so you
may give me leave to go under that Name till I dare own who I have been as well
as who I am
I have been told that in one of our Neighbour Nations whether it be in
France or where else I know not they have an Order from the King that when
any Criminal is condemnd either to Dye or to the Gallies or to be
Transported if they leave any Children as such are generally unprovided for
by the Forfeiture of their Parents so they are immediately taken into the Care
of the Government and put into an Hospital calld the House of Orphans where
they are Bred up Cloathd Fed Taught and when fit to go out are placed to
Trades or to Services so as to be well able to provide for themselves by an
honest industrious Behaviour
Had this been the Custom in our Country I had not been left a poor desolate
Girl without Friends without Cloaths without Help or Helper as was my Fate
and by which I was not only exposd to very great Distresses even before I was
capable either of understanding my Case or how to amend it but brought into a
Course of Life scandalous in itself and which in its ordinary Course tended
to the swift Destruction both of Soul and Body
But the Case was otherwise here my Mother was convicted of Felony for a
petty Theft scarce worth naming viz borrowing three Pieces of fine Holland
of a certain Draper in Cheapside The Circumstances are too long to repeat and
I have heard them related so many Ways that I can scarce tell which is the
right Account
However it was they all agree in this that my Mother pleaded her Belly
and being found quick with Child she was respited for about Seven Months after
which she was calld down as they term it to her former Judgment but obtaind
the Favour afterward of being Transported to the Plantations and left me about
Half a Year old and in bad Hands you may be sure
This is too near the first Hours of my Life for me to relate anything of my
self but by hearsay tis enough to mention that as I was born in such an
unhappy Place I had no Parish to have recourse to for my Nourishment in my
Infancy nor can I give the least Account how I was kept alive other than
that as I have been told some Relation of my Mother took me away but at whose
Expence or by whose Direction I know nothing at all of it
The first Account that I can Recollect or could ever learn of my self was
that I had wanderd among a Crew of those People they call Gypsies or Egyptians
but I believe it was but a little while that I had been among them for I had
not had my Skin discoloured as they do to all Children they carry about with
them nor can I tell how I came among them or how I got from them
It was at Colchester in Essex that those People left me and I have a
Notion in my Head that I left them there that is that I hid my self and
would not go any farther with them but I am not able to be particular in that
Account only this I remember that being taken up by some of the Parish
Officers of Colchester I gave an Account that I came into the Town with the
Gypsies but that I would not go any farther with them and that so they had
left me but whither they were gone that I knew not for tho they sent round
the Country to enquire after them it seems they could not be found
I was now in a Way to be provided for for tho I was not a Parish Charge
upon this or that Part of the Town by Law yet as my Case came to be known and
that I was too young to do any Work being not above three Years old Compassion
movd the Magistrates of the Town to take Care of me and I became one of their
own as much as if I had been born in the Place
In the Provision they made for me it was my good hap to be put to Nurse as
they call it to a Woman who was indeed Poor but had been in better
Circumstances and who got a little Livelihood by taking such as I was supposd
to be and keeping them with all Necessaries till they were at a certain Age
in which it might be supposd they might go to Service or get their own Bread
This Woman had also a little School which she kept to teach Children to
Read and to Work and having I say livd before that in good Fashion she bred
up the Children with a great deal of Art as well as with a great deal of Care
But which was worth all the rest she bred them up very Religiously also
being herself a very sober pious Woman 2 Very Housewifely and Clean and
3 Very Mannerly and with good Behaviour So that excepting a plain Diet
coarse Lodging and mean Cloaths we were brought up as Mannerly as if we had
been at the Dancing School
I was continud here till I was eight Years Old when I was terrified with
News that the Magistrates as I think they calld them had ordered that I
should go to Service I was able to do but very little wherever I was to go
except it was to run of Errands and be a Drudge to some CookMaid and this
they told me of often which put me into a great Fright for I had a thorough
Aversion to going to Service as they calld it tho I was so young and I told
my Nurse that I believd I could get my Living without going to Service if she
pleased to let me for she had Taught me to Work with my Needle and Spin
Worsted which is the chief Trade of that City and I told her that if she would
keep me I would Work for her and I would Work very hard
I talkd to her almost every Day of Working hard and in short I did nothing
but Work and Cry all Day which grieved the good kind Woman so much that at
last she began to be concernd for me for she lovd me very well
One Day after this as she came into the Room where all the poor Children
were at Work she sat down just over against me not in her usual Place as
Mistress but as if she had set herself on purpose to observe me and see me
Work I was doing something she had set me to as I remember it was Marking some
Shirts which she had taken to Make and after a while she began to Talk to me
Thou foolish Child says she thou art always Crying for I was Crying then
Prithee What dost Cry for because they will take me away says I and put me
to Service and I cant work HouseWork well Child says she but tho you
cant work HouseWork you will learn it in time and they wont put you to hard
Things at first yes they will says I and if I cant do it they will Beat me
and the Maids will Beat me to make me do great Work and I am but a little Girl
and I cant do it and then I cryd again till I could not speak any more
This movd my good Motherly Nurse so that she resolvd I should not go to
Service yet so she bid me not Cry and she would speak to Mr Mayor and I
should not go to Service till I was bigger
Well this did not satisfy me for to think of going to Service at all was
such a frightful Thing to me that if she had assured me I should not have gone
till I was 20 Years Old it would have been the same to me I should have cryd
all the time with the very Apprehension of its being to be so at last
When she saw that I was not pacified yet she began to be angry with me and
what would you have says she dont I tell you that you shall not go to Service
till you are bigger Ay says I but then I must go at last Why what said she
is the Girl Mad what would you be a Gentlewoman Yes says I and cryd
heartily till I roard out again
This set the old Gentlewoman a Laughing at me as you may be sure it would
Well Madam Forsooth says she Gibing at me you would be a Gentlewoman and
how will you come to be a Gentlewoman What will you do it by your Fingers Ends
Yes says I again very innocently
Why what can you Earn says she what can you get a Day at your Work
Three Pence said I when I Spin and Four Pence when I Work plain Work
Alas Poor Gentlewoman said she again Laughing what will that do for
thee
It will keep me says I if you will let me live with you and this I said
in such a poor Petitioning Tone that it made the poor Womans Heart yearn to
me as she told me afterwards
But says she that will not keep you and buy you Cloaths too and who must
buy the little Gentlewoman Cloaths says she and smild all the while at me
I will Work harder then says I and you shall have it all
Poor Child It wont keep you said she it will hardly find you in
Victuals
Then I would have no Victuals says I again very Innocently let me but
live with you
Why Can you live without Victuals says she yes again says I very much
like a Child you may be sure and still I cryd heartily
I had no Policy in all this you may easily see it was all Nature but it
was joined with so much Innocence and so much Passion That in short it set
the good Motherly Creature a weeping too and at last she cryd as fast as I
did and then took me and lead me out of the Teaching Room Come says she you
shant go to Service you shall live with me and this pacifyd me for the
present
After this she going to wait on the Mayor my Story came up and my good
Nurse told Mr Mayor the whole Tale He was so pleased with it that he would
call his Lady and his Two Daughters to hear it and it made Mirth enough among
them you may be sure
However not a Week had passed over but on a sudden comes Mrs Mayoress
and her Two Daughters to the House to see my old Nurse and to see her School
and the Children When they had looked about them a little Well Mrs says the
Mayoress to my Nurse and pray which is the little Lass that is to be a
Gentlewoman I heard her and I was terrible frighted tho I did not know why
neither but Mrs Mayoress comes up to me Well Miss says she And what are you
at Work upon The Word Miss was a Language that had hardly been heard of in our
School and I wonderd what sad Name it was she calld me However I stood up
made a Courtsy and she took my Work out of my Hand lookd on it and said it
was very well then she lookd upon one of my Hands nay she may come to be a
Gentlewoman says she for ought I know she has a Ladys Hand I assure you
This pleased me mightily but Mrs Mayoress did not stop there but put her Hand
in her Pocket gave me a Shilling and bid me mind my Work and learn to Work
well and I might be a Gentlewoman for ought she knew
All this while my good old Nurse Mrs Mayoress and all the rest of them
did not understand me at all for they meant one Sort of thing by the Word
Gentlewoman and I meant quite another for alas all I understood by being a
Gentlewoman was to be able to Work for myself and get enough to keep me
without going to Service whereas they meant to live Great and High and I know
not what
Well after Mrs Mayoress was gone her two Daughters came in and they
calld for the Gentlewoman too and they talkd a long while to me and I
answered them in my Innocent way but always if they askd me whether I resolved
to be a Gentlewoman I answerd Yes At last they askd me what a Gentlewoman
was That puzzeld me much however I explaind my self negatively that it was
one that did not go to Service to do HouseWork they were mightily pleased
and likd my little Prattle to them which it seems was agreeable enough to
them and they gave me Money too
As for my Money I gave it all to my Mistress Nurse as I calld her and
told her she should have all I got when I was a Gentlewoman as well as now by
this and some other of my talk my old Tuteress began to understand what I meant
by being a Gentlewoman and that it was no more than to be able to get my Bread
by my own Work and at last she askd me whether it was not so
I told her Yes and insisted on it that to do so was to be a Gentlewoman
for says I there is such a one naming a Woman that mended Lace and washd
the Ladies Lacdheads she says I is a Gentlewoman and they call her Madam
Poor Child says my good old Nurse you may soon be such a Gentlewoman as
that for she is a Person of ill Fame and has had two Bastards
I did not understand anything of that but I answered I am sure they call
her Madam and she does not go to Service nor do HouseWork and therefore I
insisted that she was a Gentlewoman and I would be such a Gentlewoman as that
The Ladies were told all this again and they made themselves Merry with it
and every now and then Mr Mayors Daughters would come and see me and ask
where the little Gentlewoman was which made me not a little Proud of my self
besides I was often visited by these young Ladies and sometimes they brought
others with them so that I was known by it almost all over the Town
I was now about Ten Years old and began to look a little Womanish for I
was mighty Grave very Mannerly and as I had often heard the Ladies say I was
Pretty and would be very Handsome you may be sure it made me not a little
Proud However that Pride had no ill Effect upon me yet only as they often
gave me Money and I gave it my old Nurse she honest Woman was so just as to
lay it out again for me and gave me HeadDresses and Linnen and Gloves and I
went very Neat for if I had Rags on I would always be Clean or else I would
dabble them in Water my self but I say my good Nurse when I had Money given
me very honestly laid it out for me and would always tell the Ladies this or
that was bought with their Money and this made them give me more till at
last I was indeed calld upon by the Magistrates to go out to Service but then
I was become so good a Workwoman my self and the Ladies were so kind to me
that I was past it for I could Earn as much for my Nurse as was enough to keep
me so she told them that if they would give her leave she would keep the
Gentlewoman as she calld me to be her Assistant and teach the Children
which I was very well able to do for I was very nimble at my Work tho I was
yet very young
But the Kindness of the Ladies did not end here for when they understood
that I was no more maintaind by the Town as before they gave me Money oftener
and as I grew up they brought me Work to do for them such as Linnen to Make
Laces to Mend and Heads to Dress up and not only paid me for doing them but
even taught me how to do them so that I was a Gentlewoman indeed as I
understood that Word for before I was Twelve Years old I not only found myself
Cloaths and paid my Nurse for my keeping but got Money in my Pocket too
The Ladies also gave me Cloaths frequently of their own or their Childrens
some Stockings some Petticoats some Gowns some one thing some another and
these my old Woman managed for me like a Mother and kept them for me obliged
me to mend them and turn them to the best Advantage for she was a rare
HouseWife
At last one of the Ladies took such a Fancy to me that she would have me
Home to her House for a Month she said to be among her Daughters
Now tho this was exceeding kind in her yet as my good Woman said to her
unless she resolvd to keep me for good and all she would do the little
Gentlewoman more harm than good Well says the Lady thats true Ill only
take her Home for a Week then that I may see how my Daughters and she agree
and how I like her Temper and then Ill tell you more and in the mean time if
any Body comes to see her as they used to do you may only tell them you have
sent her out to my House
This was prudently managed enough and I went to the Ladys House but I was
so pleased there with the young Ladies and they so pleased with me that I had
enough to do to come away and they were as unwilling to part with me
However I did come away and livd almost a Year more with my honest old
Woman and began now to be very helpful to her for I was almost fourteen Years
old was tall of my Age and lookd a little Womanish but I had such a taste of
Genteel living at the Ladys House that I was not so easy in my old Quarters as
I usd to be and I thought it was fine to be a Gentlewoman indeed for I had
quite other Notions of a Gentlewoman now than I had before and as I thought
that it was fine to be a Gentlewoman so I lovd to be among Gentlewomen and
therefore I longd to be there again
When I was about fourteen Years and a quarter Old my good old Nurse Mother
I ought to call her fell Sick and Dyd I was then in a sad Condition indeed
for as there is no great Bustle in putting an End to a poor Bodys Family when
once they are carried to the Grave so the poor good Woman being Buried the
Parish Children were immediately removd by the ChurchWardens the School was
at an End and the DayChildren of it had no more to do but just stay at Home
till they were sent some where else as for what she left a Daughter a married
Woman came and swept it all away and removing the Goods they had no more to
say to me than to Jest with me and tell me that the little Gentlewoman might
set up for herself if she pleased
I was frighted out of my Wits almost and knew not what to do for I was as
it were turnd out of Doors to the wide World and that which was still worse
the old honest Woman had two and Twenty Shillings of mine in her Hand which was
all the Estate the little Gentlewoman had in the World and when I askd the
Daughter for it she huft me and told me she had nothing to do with it
It was true the good poor Woman had told her Daughter of it and that it lay
in such a Place that it was the Childs Money and had calld once or twice for
me to give it me but I was unhappily out of the way and when I came back she
was past being in a Condition to speak of it However the Daughter was so
Honest afterwards as to give it me tho at first she usd me Cruelly about it
Now was I a poor Gentlewoman indeed and I was just that very Night to be
turnd into the wide World for the Daughter removd all the Goods and I had
not so much as a Lodging to go to or a bit of Bread to Eat But it seems some
of the Neighbours took so much Compassion of me as to acquaint the Lady in
whose Family I had been and immediately she sent her Maid to fetch me and away
I went with them Bag and Baggage and with a glad Heart you may be sure The
fright of my Condition had made such an Impression upon me that I did not want
now to be a Gentlewoman but was very willing to be a Servant and that any kind
of Servant they thought fit to have me be
But my new generous Mistress had better Thoughts for me I call her
generous for she exceeded the good Woman I was with before in every Thing as
in Estate I say in every Thing except Honesty and for that tho this was a
Lady most exactly Just yet I must not forget to say on all Occasions that the
first tho Poor was as uprightly Honest as it was possible
I was no sooner carried away as I have said by this good Gentlewoman but
the first Lady that is to say the Mayoress that was sent her Daughters to
take care of me and another Family which had taken Notice of me when I was the
little Gentlewoman sent for me after her so that I was mightily made of nay
and they were not a little Angry especially the Mayoress that her Friend had
taken me away from her for as she said I was hers by Right she having been
the first that took any Notice of me but they that had me would not part with
me and as for me I could not be better than where I was
Here I continued till I was between 17 and 18 Years old and here I had all
the Advantages for my Education that could be imagined the Lady had Masters
home to teach her Daughters to Dance and to speak French and to Write and
others to teach them Musick and as I was always with them I learnd as fast as
they and tho the Masters were not appointed to teach me yet I learnd by
Imitation and Enquiry all that they learnd by Instruction and Direction So
that in short I learned to Dance and speak French as well as any of them and
to Sing much better for I had a better Voice than any of them I could not so
readily come at playing the Harpsicord or Spinnet because I had no Instrument
of my own to Practise on and could only come at theirs in the Intervals when
they left it but yet I learned tollerably well and the young Ladies at length
got two Instruments that is to say a Harpsicord and a Spinnet too and then
they Taught me themselves but as to Dancing they could hardly help my learning
Country Dances because they always wanted me to make up even Number and on the
other Hand they were as heartily willing to learn me everything that they had
been Taught themselves as I could be to take the Learning
By this Means I had as I have said all the Advantages of Education that I
could have had if I had been as much a Gentlewoman as they were with whom I
livd and in some things I had the Advantage of my Ladies tho they were my
Superiors Viz that mine were all the Gifts of Nature and which all their
Fortunes could not furnish First I was apparently Handsomer than any of them
Secondly I was better shapd and Thirdly I Sung better by which I mean I
had a better Voice in all which you will I hope allow me to say I do not
speak my own Conceit but the Opinion of all that knew the Family
I had with all these the common Vanity of my Sex Viz that being really
taken for very Handsome or if you please for a great Beauty I very well knew
it and had as good an Opinion of my self as any Body else could have of me
and particularly I loved to hear any Body speak of it which happened often and
was a great Satisfaction to me
Thus far I have had a smooth Story to tell of my self and in all this Part
of my Life I not only had the Reputation of living in a very good Family and a
Family Noted and Respected every where for Vertue and Sobriety and for every
valuable Thing but I had the Character too of a very sober modest and
vertuous young Woman and such I had always been neither had I yet any Occasion
to think of any thing else or to know what a Temptation to Wickedness meant
But that which I was too vain of was my Ruin or rather my Vanity was the
Cause of it The Lady in the House where I was had two Sons young Gentlemen of
Extraordinary Parts and Behaviour and it was my Misfortune to be very well with
them both but they managed themselves with me in a quite different Manner
The eldest a gay Gentleman that knew the Town as well as the Country and
tho he had Levity enough to do an illnatured thing yet had too much Judgment
of things to pay too dear for his Pleasures he began with that unhappy Snare to
all Women Viz taking Notice upon all Occasions how pretty I was as he calld
it how agreeable how well Carriaged and the like and this he contrivd so
subtilly as if he had known as well how to catch a Woman in his Net as a
Partridge when he went a Setting for he would contrive to be talking this to
his Sisters when tho I was not by yet when he knew I was not so far off but
that I should be sure to hear him His Sisters would return softly to him hush
Brother she will hear your she is but in the next Room then he would put it
off and talk softlier as if he had not known it and begin to acknowledge he
was Wrong and then as if he had forgot himself he would speak aloud again and
I that was so well pleased to hear it was sure to Listen for it upon all
Occasions
After he had thus baited his Hook and found easily enough the Method how to
lay it in my Way he playd an open Game and one Day going by his Sisters
Chamber when I was there he comes in with an Air of Gaiety O Mrs Betty said
he to me How do you do Mrs Betty dont your Cheeks burn Mrs Betty I made a
Courtsy and blushd but said nothing What makes you talk so Brother says
the Lady Why says he we have been talking of her below Stairs this half Hour
Well says his Sister you can say no Harm of her that I am sure so tis no
matter what you have been talking about nay says he tis so far from talking
Harm of her that we have been talking a great deal of good and a great many
fine Things have been said of Mrs Betty I assure you and particularly that
she is the Handsomest young Woman in Colchester and in short they begin to
Toast her Health in the Town
I wonder at you Brother says the Sister Betty wants but one Thing but she
had as good want every Thing for the Market is against our Sex just now and if
a young Woman has Beauty Birth Breeding Wit Sense Manners Modesty andall
to an Extream yet if she has not Money shes no Body she had as good want
them all nothing but Money now recommends a Woman the Men play the Game all
into their own Hands
Her younger Brother who was by cryd Hold Sister you run too fast I am
an Exception to your Rule I assure you if I find a Woman so accomplishd as
you Talk of I wont trouble my self about the Money O says the Sister but
you will take Care not to Fancy one then without the Money
You dont know that neither says the Brother
But why Sister says the Elder Brother why do you exclaim so about the
Fortune you are none of them that want a Fortune what ever else you want
I understand you Brother replies the Lady very smartly you suppose I
have the Money and want the Beauty but as Times go now the first will do so I
have the better of my Neighbours
Well says the younger Brother but your Neighbours may be even with you
for Beauty will steal a Husband sometimes in spight of Money and when the Maid
chances to be Handsomer than the Mistress she oftentimes makes as good a
Market and rides in a Coach before her
I thought it was time for me to withdraw and I did so but not so far but
that I heard all their Discourse in which I heard abundance of fine things said
of my self which prompted my Vanity but as I soon found was not the way to
encrease my Interest in the Family for the Sister and the younger Brother fell
grievously out about it and as he said some very disobliging things to her
upon my Account so I could easily see that she resented them by her future
Conduct to me which indeed was very unjust for I had never had the least
thought of what she suspected as to her younger Brother Indeed the elder
Brother in his distant remote Way had said a great many things as in Jest which
I had the Folly to believe were in Earnest or to flatter my self with the Hopes
of what I ought to have supposd he never intended
It happened one Day that he came running up Stairs towards the Room where
his Sister usd to sit and work as he often usd to do and calling to them
before he came in as was his way too I being there alone stepd to the Door
and said Sir the Ladies are not here they are walkd down the Garden as I
stepd forward to say this he was just got to the Door and clasping me in his
Arms as if it had been by Chance O Mrs Betty says he are you here thats
better still I want to speak with you more than I do with them and then
having me in his Arms he kissd me three or four times
I struggled to get away and yet did it but faintly neither and he held me
fast and still kissd me till he was out of Breath and sitting down says
he dear Betty I am in Love with you
His Words I must confess fird my Blood all my Spirits flew about my
Heart and put me into Disorder enough He repeated it afterwards several times
that he was in Love with me and my Heart spoke as plain as a Voice that I
likd it nay whenever he said I am in Love with you my Blushes plainly
replyd woud you were Sir However nothing else passd at that time it was
but a Surprize and I soon recoverd my self He had stayd longer with me but
he happend to look out at the Window and see his Sisters coming up the Garden
so he took his Leave kissd me again told me he was very serious and I should
hear more of him very quickly and away he went infinitely pleasd and had
there not been one Misfortune in it I had been in the Right but the Mistake
lay here that Mrs Betty was in Earnest and the Gentleman was not
From this time my Head run upon strange Things and I may truly say I was
not my self to have such a Gentleman talk to me of being in Love with me and
of my being such a charming Creature as he told me I was these were things I
knew not how to bear my Vanity was elevated to the last Degree It is true I
had my Head full of Pride but knowing nothing of the Wickedness of the times I
had not one Thought of my Virtue about me and had my young Master offerd it at
first Sight he might have taken any Liberty he thought fit with me but he did
not see his Advantage which was my Happiness for that time
It was not long but he found an Opportunity to catch me again and almost
in the same Posture indeed it had more of Design in it on his Part tho not on
my Part it was thus The young Ladies were gone a Visiting with their Mother
his Brother was out of Town and as for his Father he had been at London for a
Week before he had so well watchd me that he knew where I was tho I did not
so much as know that he was in the House and he briskly comes up the Stairs
and seeing me at Work comes into the Room to me directly and began just as he
did before with taking me in his Arms and kissing me for almost a quarter of
an Hour together
It was his younger Sisters Chamber that I was in and as there was no Body
in the House but the Maid below Stairs he was it may be the ruder In short he
began to be in Earnest with me indeed perhaps he found me a little too easy
for I made no Resistance to him while he only held me in his Arms and kissd me
indeed I was too well pleased with it to resist him much
Well tird with that kind of Work we sat down and there he talkd with me
a great while he said he was charmd with me and that he could not rest till
he had told me how he was in Love with me and if I could Love him again and
would make him happy I should be the saving of his Life and many such fine
Things I said little to him again but easily discovered that I was a Fool and
that I did not in the least perceive what he meant
Then he walked about the Room and taking me by the Hand I walkd with him
and by and by taking his Advantage he threw me down upon the Bed and kissed me
there most Violently but to give him his Due offered no manner of Rudeness to
me only kissd me a great while after this he thought he had heard some Body
come up Stairs so he got off from the Bed lifted me up professing a great
deal of Love for me but told me it was all an honest Affection and that he
meant no ill to me and with that put five Guineas into my Hand and went down
Stairs
I was more confounded with the Money than I was before with the Love and
began to be so elevated that I scarce knew the Ground I stood on I am the more
particular in this that if it comes to be read by any innocent young Body they
may learn from it to guard themselves against the Mischiefs which attend an
early Knowledge of their own Beauty if a young Woman once thinks herself
Handsome she never doubts the Truth of any Man that tells her he is in Love
with her for if she believes herself Charming enough to captivate him tis
natural to expect the Effects of it
This Gentleman had now fird his Inclination as much as he had my Vanity
and as if he had found that he had an Opportunity and was sorry he did not take
hold of it he comes up again in about half an Hour and falls to work with me
again just as he did before only with a little less Introduction
And First when he entered the Room he turnd about and shut the Door
Mrs Betty said he I fancyd before some Body was coming up Stairs but it
was not so However adds he if they find me in the Room with you they shant
catch me a kissing of you I told him I did not know who should be coming up
Stairs for I believed there was no Body in the House but the Cook and the
other Maid and they never came up those Stairs well my Dear says he Tis
good to be sure however and so he sits down and we began to talk and now tho
I was still on fire with his first Visit and said little he did as it were put
Words in my Mouth telling me how passionately he lovd me and that tho he
could not till he came to his Estate yet he was resolvd to make me happy then
and himself too that is to say to marry me and abundance of such things
which I poor Fool did not understand the drift of but acted as if there was no
kind of Love but that which tended to Matrimony and if he had spoken of that
I had no Room as well as no Power to have said No but we were not come to
that length yet
We had not sat long but he got up and stopping my very Breath with Kisses
threw me upon the Bed again but then he went further with me than Decency
permits me to mention nor had it been in my Power to have denyd him at that
Moment had he offered much more than he did
However tho he took these Freedoms with me it did not go to that which
they call the last Favour which to do him Justice he did not attempt and he
made that Selfdenial of his a Plea for all his Freedoms with me up on other
Occasions after this When this was over he stayd but a little while but he
put almost a Handful of Gold in my Hand and left me a thousand Protestations of
his Passion for me and of his loving me above all the Women in the World
It will not be strange if I now began to think but alas it was but with
very little solid Reflections I had a most unbounded Stock of Vanity and Pride
and but a very little Stock of Virtue I did indeed cast sometimes with my self
what my young Master aimd at but thought of nothing but the fine Words and the
Gold whether he intended to marry me or not seemd a Matter of no great
Consequence to me nor did I so much as think of making any Capitulation for my
self till he made a kind of formal Proposal to me as you shall hear
presently
Thus I gave up my self to Ruin without the least Concern and am a fair
Memento to all young Women whose Vanity prevails over their Virtue Nothing was
ever so stupid on both Sides had I acted as became me and resisted as Virtue
and Honour requird he had either desisted his Attacks finding no room to
expect the end of his Design or had made fair and honourable Proposals of
Marriage in which Case whoever blamd him no Body could have blamd me In
short if he had known me and how easy the Trifle he aimd at was to be had
he would have troubled his Head no farther but have given me four or five
Guineas and have lain with me the next time he had come at me On the other
Hand if I had known his Thoughts and how hard he supposed I would be to be
gaind I might have made my own Terms and if I had not capitulated for an
immediate Marriage I might for a Maintainance till Marriage and might have had
what I would for he was Rich to Excess besides what he had in Expectation but
I had wholly abandoned all such Thoughts and was taken up only with the Pride
of my Beauty and of being belovd by such a Gentleman as for the Gold I spent
whole Hours in looking upon it I told the Guineas over a Thousand times a Day
Never poor vain Creature was so wrapt up with every Part of the Story as I was
not considering what was before me and how near my Ruin was at the Door and
indeed I think I rather wished for that Ruin than studied to avoid it
In the mean time however I was cunning enough not to give the least room
to any in the Family to imagine that I had the least Correspondence with him I
scarce ever lookd towards him in publick or answerd if he spoke to me when
but for all that we had every now and then a little Encounter where we had
room for a Word or two and now and then a Kiss but no fair Opportunity for the
Mischief intended and especially considering that he made more Circumlocution
than he had occasion for and the Work appearing Difficult to him he really
made it so
But as the Devil is an unwearied Tempter so he never fails to find an
Opportunity for the Wickedness he invites to It was one Evening that I was in
the Garden with his two younger Sisters and himself when he found Means to
convey a Note into my Hand by which he told me that he would to Morrow desire
me publickly to go of an Errand for him and that I should see him somewhere by
the Way
Accordingly after Dinner he very gravely says to me his Sisters being all
by Mrs Betty I must ask a Favour of you Whats that says the Second Sister
nay Sister says he very gravely If you cant spare Mrs Betty to Day any
other time will do Yes they said they could spare her well enough and the
Sister begd Pardon for asking Well but says the eldest Sister you must tell
Mrs Betty what it is if it be any private Business that we must not hear you
may call her out there she is Why Sister says the Gentleman very gravely
What do you mean I only desire her to go into the Highstreet and then he
pulls out a Turnover to such a Shop and then he tells them a long Story of
two fine Neckcloths he had bid Money for and he wanted to have me go and make
an Errand to buy a Neck to that Turnover that he showed and if they would not
take my Money for the Neckcloths to bid a Shilling more and haggle with them
and then he made more Errands and so continued to have such petty Business to
do that I should be sure to stay a good while
When he had given me my Errands he told them a long Story of a Visit he was
going to make to a Family they all knew and where was to be such and such
Gentlemen and very formally askd his Sisters to go with him and they as
formally excusd themselves because of Company that they had Notice was to come
and Visit them that Afternoon all which by the way he had contrivd on purpose
He had scarce done speaking but his Man came up to tell him that Sir W H
s Coach stopd at the Door so he runs down and comes up again immediately
Alas says he aloud Theres all my Mirth spoild at once Sir W has sent his
Coach for me and desires to speak with me It seems this Sir W was a Gentleman
who livd about three Miles off to whom he had spoke on purpose to lend him his
Charriot for a Particular Occasion and had appointed it to call for him as it
did about three a Clock
Immediately he calls for his best Wig Hat and Sword and ordering his Man
to go to the other Place to make his Excuse that was to say he made an Excuse
to send his Man away he prepares to go into the Coach As he was going he
stopd a while and speaks mightily earnestly to me about his Business and
finds an Opportunity to say very softly Come away my dear as soon as ever you
can I said nothing but made a Courtsy as if I had done so to what he said in
Publick in about a Quarter of an Hour I went out too I had no Dress other
than before except that I had a Hood a Mask a Fan and a pair of Gloves in my
Pocket so that there was not the least Suspicion in the House He waited for me
in a back Lane which he knew I must pass by and the Coachman knew whither to
go which was to a certain Place called MileEnd where livd a Confident of
his where we went in and where was all the Convenience in the World to be as
wicked as we pleasd
When we were together he began to Talk very gravely to me and to tell me
he did not bring me there to betray me that his Passion for me would not
suffer him to abuse me that he resolved to marry me as soon as he came to his
Estate that in the mean time if I would grant his Request he would maintain
me very Honourably and made me a thousand Protestations of his Sincerity and
of his Affection to me and that he would never abandon me and as I may say
made a thousand more Preambles than he need to have done
However as he pressd me to speak I told him I had no Reason to question
the Sincerity of his Love to me after so many Protestations But and there I
stopd as if I left him to guess the rest But what my Dear says he I guess
what you mean what if you should be with Child is not that it Why then says
he Ill take care of you and provide for you and the Child too and that you
may see I am not in Jest says he heres an Earnest for you and with that he
pulls out a Silk Purse with an Hundred Guineas in it and gave it me and Ill
give you such another says he every Year till I marry you
My Colour came and went at the Sight of the Purse and with the fire of his
Proposal together so that I could not say a Word and he easily perceivd it
so putting the Purse into my Bosom I made no more Resistance to him but let
him do just what he pleasd and as often as he pleasd and thus I finishd my
own Destruction at once for from this Day being forsaken of my Virtue and my
Modesty I had nothing of Value left to recommend me either to Gods Blessing
or Mans Assistance
But things did not end here I went back to the Town did the Business he
directed me to and was at Home before any Body thought me long as for my
Gentleman he stayd out till late at Night and there was not the least
Suspicion in the Family either on his Account or on mine
We had after this frequent Opportunities to repeat our Crime and
especially at Home when his Mother and the young Ladies went abroad a Visiting
which he watchd so narrowly as never to miss knowing always beforehand when
they went out and then faild not to catch me all alone and securely enough
so that we took our fill of our wicked Pleasures for near half a Year and yet
which was the most to my Satisfaction I was not with Child
But before this half Year was expird his younger Brother of whom I have
made some mention in the beginning of the Story falls to work with me and he
finding me alone in the Garden one Evening begins a Story of the same Kind to
me made good honest Professions of being in Love with me and in short
proposes Fairly and Honourably to marry me
I was now confounded and driven to such an Extremity as the like was never
known to me I resisted the Proposal with Obstinacy and began to arm my self
with Arguments I laid before him the Inequality of the Match the Treatment I
should meet with in the Family the Ingratitude it would be to his good Father
and Mother who had taken me into their House upon such generous Principles and
when I was in such a low Condition and in short I said everything to disswade
him that I could imagine except telling him the Truth which woud indeed have
put an End to it all but that I durst not think of mentioning
But here happened a Circumstance that I did not expect indeed which put me
to my Shifts for this young Gentleman as he was plain and honest so he
pretended to nothing but what was so too and knowing his own Innocence he was
not so careful to make his having a Kindness for Mrs Betty a Secret in the
House as his Brother was and tho he did not let them know that he had talkd
to me about it yet he said enough to let his Sisters perceive he lovd me and
his Mother saw it too which tho they took no Notice of to me yet they did to
him and immediately I found their Carriage to me alterd more than ever before
I saw the Cloud though I did not foresee the Storm it was easy I say to
see their Carriage was alterd and that it grew worse and worse every Day
till at last I got Information that I should in a very little while be desired
to remove
I was not alarmd at the News having a full Satisfaction that I should be
provided for and especially considering that I had Reason every Day to expect I
should be with Child and that then I should be obliged to remove without any
Pretences for it
After some time the younger Gentleman took an Opportunity to tell me that
the Kindness he had for me had got Vent in the Family he did not charge me with
it he said for he knew well enough which way it came out he told me his way
of Talking had been the Occasion of it for that he did not make his Respect for
me so much a Secret as he might have done and the Reason was that he was at a
Point that if I would consent to have him he would tell them all openly that
he lovd me and that he intended to marry me That it was true his Father and
Mother might resent it and be unkind but he was now in a Way to live being
bred to the Law and he did not fear Maintaining me and that in short as he
believd I would not be ashamd of him so he was resolvd not to be ashamed of
me and that he scornd to be afraid to own me now who he resolvd to own after
I was his Wife and therefore I had nothing to do but to give him my Hand and
he would answer for all the rest
I was now in a dreadful Condition indeed and now I repented heartily my
Easiness with the eldest Brother not from any Reflection of Conscience for I
was a stranger to those things but I could not think of being a Whore to one
Brother and a Wife to the other it came also into my Thoughts that the first
Brother had promisd to make me his Wife when he came to his Estate but I
presently rememberd what I had often thought of that he had never spoken a
Word of having me for a Wife after he had Conquerd me for a Mistress and
indeed till now tho I said I thought of it often yet it gave no Disturbance
at all for as he did not seem in the least to lessen his Affection to me so
neither did he lessen his Bounty tho he had the Discretion himself to desire
me not to lay out a Penny in Cloaths or to make the least show extraordinary
because it would necessarily give Jealousy in the Family since every Body knew
I could come at such things no manner of ordinary Way but by some private
Friendship which they would presently have suspected
I was now in a great strait and knew not what to do the main Difficulty
was this the younger Brother not only laid close Siege to me but suffered it
to be seen he would come into his Sisters Room and his Mothers Room and sit
down and talk a Thousand kind Things to me even before their Faces so that
the whole House talkd of it and his Mother reprovd him for it and their
Carriage to me appeared quite altered In short his Mother had let fall some
Speeches as if she intended to put me out of the Family that is in English to
turn me out of Doors Now I was sure this could not be a Secret to his Brother
only that he might think as indeed no Body else yet did that the youngest
Brother had made any Proposal to me about it but as I easily could see that it
would go farther so I saw likewise there was an absolute Necessity to speak of
it to him or that he would speak of it to me but knew not whether I should
break it to him or let it alone till he should break it to me
Upon serious Consideration for indeed now I began to consider things very
seriously and never till now I resolvd to tell him of it first and it was
not long before I had an Opportunity for the very next Day his Brother went to
London upon some Business and the Family being out a Visiting just as it
happened before and as indeed was often the Case he came according to his
Custom to spend an Hour or Two with Mrs Betty
When he had sate down a while he easily perceived there was an Alteration
in my Countenance that I was not so free and pleasant with him as I used to be
and particularly that I had been a Crying he was not long before he took
Notice of it and askd me in very kind Terms what was the Matter and if
anything troubled me I would have put it off if I could but it was not to be
conceald so after suffering many Importunities to draw that out of me which I
longd as much as possible to disclose I told him that it was true something
did trouble me and something of such a Nature that I could hardly conceal from
him and yet that I could not tell how to tell him of it neither that it was a
thing that not only surprizd me but greatly perplext me and that I knew not
what Course to take unless he would direct me He told me with great
Tenderness that let it be what it would I should not let it trouble me for he
would protect me from all the World
I then began at a Distance and told him I was afraid the Ladies had got
some secret Information of our Correspondence for that it was easy to see that
their Conduct was very much changd towards me and that now it was come to
pass that they frequently found Fault with me and sometimes fell quite out
with me tho I never gave them the least Occasion That whereas I usd always
to lye with the Eldest Sister I was lately put to lye by my self or with one
of the Maids and that I had overheard them several times talking very unkindly
about me but that which confirmd it all was that one of the Servants had told
me that she had heard I was to be turnd out and that it was not safe for the
Family that I should be any longer in the House
He smild when he heard of this and I askd him how he could make so light
of it when he must need know that if there was any Discovery I was undone
and that it would hurt him tho not Ruin him as it would me I upbraided him
that he was like the rest of his Sex that when they had the Character of a
Woman at their Mercy oftentimes made it their Jest and at least lookd upon it
as a Trifle and counted the Ruin of those they had had their Will of as a
thing of no Value
He saw me warm and serious and he changd his Stile immediately he told me
he was sorry I should have such a thought of him that he had never given me
the least Occasion for it but had been as tender of my Reputation as he could
be of his own that he was sure our Correspondence had been managed with so much
Address that not one Creature in the Family had so much as a Suspicion of it
that if he smild when I told him my Thoughts it was at the Assurance he lately
receivd that our understanding one another was not so much as guessd at and
that when he had told me how much Reason he had to be Easy I should smile as
he did for he was very certain it would give me a full Satisfaction
This is a Mistery I cannot understand says I or how it should be to my
Satisfaction that I am to be turnd out of Doors for if our Correspondence is
not discoverd I know not what else I have done to change the Faces of the
whole Family to me who formerly used me with so much Tenderness as if I had
been one of their own Children
Why look you Child says he That they are uneasy about you that is true
but that they have the least Suspicion of the Case as it is and as it respects
you and I is so far from being true that they suspect my Brother Robin and
in short they are fully perswaded be makes Love to you Nay the Fool has put
it into their Heads too himself for he is continually Bantring them about it
and making a Jest of himself I confess I think he is wrong to do so because he
cannot but see it Vexes them and makes them unkind to you but it is a
Satisfaction to me because of the Assurance it gives me that they do not
suspect me in the least and I hope this will be to your Satisfaction too
So it is says I one way but this does not reach my Case at all nor is
this the chief Thing that troubles me tho I have been concernd about that
too What is it then says he With which I fell into Tears and could say
nothing to him at all He strove to pacifie me all he could but began at last
to be very pressing upon me to tell what it was at last I answerd that I
thought I ought to tell him too and that he had some right to know it besides
that I wanted his Direction in the Case, for I was in such Perplexity that I
knew not what Course to take and then I related the whole Affair to him I told
him how imprudently his Brother had managd himself in making himself so
Publick for that if he had kept it a Secret I could but have denied him
Positively without giving any Reason for it and he would in Time have ceased
his Sollicitations but that he had the Vanity first to depend upon it that I
would not deny him and then had taken the Freedom to tell his Design to the
whole House
I told him how far I had resisted him and how sincere and honourable his
Offers were but says I my Case will be doubly hard for as they carry it Ill
to me now because he desires to have me theyll carry it worse when they shall
find I have denyd him and they will presently say theres something else in
it and that I am marryd already to somebody else or that I would never refuse
a Match so much above me as this was
This Discourse surprizd him indeed very much He told me that it was a
critical Point indeed for me to manage and he did not see which way I should
get out of it but he would consider of it and let me know next time we met
what Resolution he was come to about it and in the mean time desird I would
not give my Consent to his Brother nor yet give him a flat Denial but that I
would hold him in Suspence a while
I seemd to start at his saying I should not give him my Consent I told
him he knew very well I had no Consent to give that he had ingagd himself to
marry me and that I was thereby ingagd to him that he had all along told me
I was his Wife and I lookd upon my self as effectually so as if the Ceremony
had passd and that it was from his own Mouth that I did so he having all
along persuaded me to call my self his Wife
Well my Dear says he dont be concernd at that now if I am not your
Husband Ill be as good as a Husband to you and do not let those things
trouble you now but let me look a little farther into this Affair and I shall
be able to say more next time we meet
He pacifyd me as well as he could with this but I found he was very
Thoughtful and that tho he was very kind to me and kissd me a thousand
Times and more I believe and gave me Money too yet he offerd no more all the
while we were together which was above two Hours and which I much wonderd at
considering how it usd to be and what Opportunity we had
His Brother did not come from London for five or six Days and it was two
Days more before he got an Opportunity to talk with him but then getting him
by himself he talkd very close to him about it and the same Evening found
Means for we had a long Conference together to repeat all their Discourse to
me which as near as I can remember was to the purpose following He told him
he heard strange News of him since he went viz that he made Love to Mrs
Betty Well says his Brother a little angrily And what then What has any
body to do with that Nay says his Brother dont be angry Robin I dont
pretend to have any thing to do with it but I find they do concern themselves
about it and that they have used the poor Girl Ill about it which I should
take as done to my self Who do you mean by THEY says Robin I mean my Mother
and the Girls says the elder Brother
But hark ye says his Brother are you in Earnest do you really Love the
Girl Why then says Robin I will be free with you I do love her above all the
Women in the World and I will have her let them say and do what they will I
believe the Girl will not deny me
It stuck me to the Heart when he told me this for tho it was most rational
to think I would not deny him yet I knew in my own Conscience I must and I
saw my Ruin in my being obligd to do so but I knew it was my business to Talk
otherwise then so I interrupted him in his Story thus Ay said I does he
think I cannot deny him but he shall find I can deny him for all that Well my
dear says he but let me give you the whole Story as it went on between us and
then say what you will
Then he went on and told me that he replyd thus But Brother you know She
has nothing and you may have several Ladies with good Fortunes Tis no matter
for that said Robin I Love the Girl and I will never please my Pocket in
Marrying and not please my Fancy And so my Dear adds he there is no opposing
him
Yes yes says I I can oppose him I have learnt to say NO now tho I had
not learnt it before if the best Lord in the Land offerd me Marriage now I
could very chearfully say NO to him
Well but my Dear says he What can you say to him You know as you said
before he will ask you many Questions about it and all the House will wonder
what the meaning of it should be
Why says I smiling I can stop all their Mouths at one Clap by telling him
and them too that I am Married already to his elder Brother
He smild a little too at the Word but I could see it Startled him and he
could not hide the disorder it put him into however he returnd Why tho that
may be true in some Sense yet I suppose you are but in Jest when you talk of
giving such an Answer as that it may not be convenient on many Accounts
No no says I pleasantly I am not so fond of letting that Secret come out
without your Consent
But what then can you say to them says he when they find you possitive
against a Match which would be apparently so much to your Advantage Why says I
should I be at a loss First I am not obligd to give them any Reason on the
other hand I may tell them I am married already and stop there and that will
be a full Stop too to him for he can have no Reason to ask one Question after
it
Ay says he but the whole House will teize you about that and if you deny
them possitively they will be disobligd at you and Suspicious besides
Why says I What can I do What would you have me do I was in strait
enough before as I told you and acquainted you with the Circumstances that I
might have your Advice
My dear says he I have been considering very much upon it you may be
sure and tho the Advice has many Mortifications in it to me and may at first
seem Strange to you yet all Things considerd I see no better way for you
than to let him go on and if you find him hearty and in Earnest Marry him
I gave him a look full of Horror at those Words and turning Pale as Death
was at the very point of sinking down out of the Chair I sat in When giving a
start my Dear says he aloud Whats the matter with you Where are you agoing
and a great many such Things and with jogging and calling to me fetchd me a
little to my self tho it was a good while before I fully recoverd my Senses
and was not able to speak for several Minutes
When I was fully recoverd he began again My dear says he I would have
you consider seriously of it you may see plainly how the Family stand in this
Case and they would be stark Mad if it was my Case as it is my Brothers and
for ought I see it would be my Ruin and yours too
Ay says I still speaking angrily Are all your Protestations and Vows to
be shaken by the dislike of the Family Did I not always object that to you and
you made a light thing of it as what you were above and would not Value and
is it come to this now Is this your Faith and Honour your Love and the
Solidity of your Promises
He continued perfectly Calm notwithstanding all my Reproaches and I was
not sparing of them at all but he replyd at last My Dear I have not broken
one Promise with you yet I did tell you I would Marry you when I was come to my
Estate but you see my Father is a hail healthy Man and may live these thirty
Years still and not be Older than several are round us in the Town and you
never proposd my Marrying you sooner because you know it might be my Ruin and
as to the rest I have not faild you in any thing
I could not deny a Word of this but why then says I can you perswade me
to such a horrid step as leaving you since you have not left me Will you
allow no Affection no Love on my Side where there has been so much on your
Side Have I made you no Returns Have I given no Testimony of my Sincerity and
of my Passion Are the Sacrifices I have made of Honour and Modesty to you no
Proof of my being tyd to you in Bonds too strong to be broken
But here my Dear says he you may come into a safe Station and appear with
Honour and the Remembrance of what we have done may be wrapt up in an eternal
Silence as if it had never happend you shall always have my sincere
Affection only then it shall be Honest and perfectly Just to my Brother you
shall be my Dear Sister as now you are my Dear and there he stopd
Your dear Whore says I you would have said and you might as well have
said it but I understand you However I desire you to remember the long
Discourses you have had with me and the many Hours pains you have taken to
perswade me to believe my self an honest Woman that I was your Wife
intentionally and that it was as effectual a Marriage that had passd between
us as if we had been publickly Wedded by the Parson of the Parish you know
these have been your own Words to me
I found this was a little too close upon him but I made it up in what
follows he stood stock still for a while and said nothing and I went on thus
you cannot says I without the highest injustice believe that I yielded upon
all these Perswasions without a Love not to be questioned not to be shaken
again by any thing that could happen afterward If you have such dishonourable
Thoughts of me I must ask you what Foundation have I given for such a
Suggestion
If then I have yielded to the Importunities of my Affection and if I have
been perswaded to believe that I am really your Wife shall I now give the Lye
to all those Arguments and call my self your Whore or Mistress which is the
same thing And will you Transfer me to your Brother Can you transfer my
Affection Can you bid me cease loving you and bid me love him Is it in my
Power think you to make such a Change at Demand No Sir said I depend upon it
tis imposible and whatever the Change on your Side may be I will ever be
true and I had much rather since it is come that unhappy Length be your Whore
than your Brothers Wife
He appeard pleasd and touchd with the impression of this last Discourse
and told me that he stood where he did before that he had not been Unfaithful
to me in any one Promise he had ever made yet but that there were so many
terrible things presented themselves to his View in the Affair before me that
he had thought of the other as a Remedy only that he thought this would not be
an entire parting us but we might love as Friends all our Days and perhaps
with more Satisfaction than we should in the Station we were now in That he
durst say I could not apprehend any thing from him as to betraying a Secret
which could not but be the Destruction of us both if it came out That he had
but one Question to ask of me that could lye in the way of it and if that
Question was answerd he could not but think still it was the only Step I could
take
I guessd at his Question presently viz Whether I was not with Child As
to that I told him he need not be concernd about it for I was not with
Child why then my Dear says he we have no time to Talk farther now Consider
of it I cannot but be of the Opinion still that it will be the best Course you
can take and with this he took his Leave and the more hastily too his Mother
and Sisters Ringing at the Gate just at the Moment he had risen up to go
He left me in the utmost Confusion of Thought and he easily perceivd it
the next Day and all the rest of the Week but he had no Opportunity to come at
me all that Week till the Sunday after when I being indisposd did not go to
Church and he making some Excuse stayd at Home
And now he had me an Hour and Half again by my self and we fell into the
same Arguments all over again at last I askd him warmly what Opinion he must
have of my Modesty that he could suppose I should so much as entertain a
thought of lying with two Brothers And assurd him it could never be I added
if he was to tell me that he would never see me more than which nothing but
Death could be more Terrible yet I could never entertain a Thought so
Dishonourable to my self and so Base to him and therefore I entreated him if
he had one Grain of Respect or Affection left for me that he would speak no
more of it to me or that he would pull his Sword out and Kill me He appeard
surprizd at my Obstinacy as he calld it told me I was unkind to my self and
unkind to him in it that it was a Crisis unlookd for upon us both but that he
did not see any other way to save us both from Ruin and therefore he thought it
the more Unkind but that if he must say no more of it to me he added with an
unusual Coldness that he did not know any thing else we had to talk of and so
he rose up to take his leave I rose up too as if with the same indifference
but when he came to give me as it were a parting Kiss I burst out into such a
Passion of Crying that tho I would have spoke I could not and only pressing
his Hand seemd to give him the Adieu but cryd vehemently
He was sensibly movd with this so he sat down again and said a great many
kind things to me but still urgd the necessity of what he had proposed all
the while insisting that if I did refuse he would notwithstanding provide for
me but letting me plainly see that he would decline me in the main Point nay
even as a Mistress making it a point of Honour not to lye with the Woman that
for ought he knew might one time or other come to be his Brothers Wife
The bare loss of him as a Gallant was not so much my Affliction as the loss
of his Person whom indeed I lovd to Distraction and the loss of all the
Expectations I had and which I always built my Hopes upon of having him one
Day for my Husband These things oppressd my Mind so much that in short the
agonies of my Mind threw me into a high Fever and long it was that none in
the Family expected my Life
I was reducd very low indeed and was often Delirious but nothing lay so
near me as the fear that when I was light Headed I should say something or
other to his Prejudice I was distressd in my Mind also to see him and so he
was to see me for he really lovd me most passionately but it could not be
there was not the least Room to desire it on one side or other
It was near five Weeks that I kept my Bed and tho the violence of my Fever
abated in three Weeks yet it several times returnd and the Physicians said
two or three times they could do no more for me but that they must leave Nature
and the Distemper to fight it out After the end of five Weeks I grew better
but was so weak so alterd and recoverd so slowly that the Physicians
apprehended I should go into a Consumption and which vexd me most they gave
their Opinion that my Mind was oppressd that something troubld me and in
short that I was IN LOVE upon this the whole House set upon me to press me to
tell whether I was in Love or not and with whom but as I well might I
denyd my being in Love at all
They had on this Occasion a Squabble one Day about me at Table that had
like to put the whole Family in an Uproar they happend to be all at Table but
the Father as for me I was Ill and in my Chamber At the beginning of the
Talk the old Gentlewoman who had sent me somewhat to Eat bid her Maid go up
and ask me if I would have any more but the Maid brought down Word I had not
Eaten half what she had sent me already Alas says the old Lady that poor
Girl I am afraid she will never be well Well says the elder Brother How
should Mrs Betty be well they say she is in Love I believe nothing of it
says the old Gentlewoman I dont know says the eldest Sister what to say to
it they have made such a rout about her being so Handsome and so Charming and
I know not what and that in her hearing too that has turn d the Creatures
Head I believe and who knows what possessions may follow such doings for my
Part I dont know what to make of it
Why Sister you must acknowledge she is very Handsome says the elder
Brother Ay and a great deal Handsomer than you Sister says Robin and thats
your Mortification Well well that is not the Question says his Sister the
Girl is well enough and she knows it she need not be told of it to make her
Vain
We dont talk of her being Vain says the elder Brother but of her being in
Love may be she is in Love with herself it seems my Sisters think so
I would she was in Love with me says Robin Id quickly put her out of her
Pain What dye mean by that Son says the old Lady how can you talk so Why
Madam says Robin again very honestly do you think Id let the poor Girl die
for Love and of me too that is so near at hand to be had Fye Brother says
the second Sister how can you talk so Would you take a Creature that has not a
Groat in the World Prithee Child says Robin Beautys a Portion and good
Humour with it is a double Portion I wish thou hadst half her Stock of both
for thy Portion So there was her Mouth stopd
I find says the eldest Sister if Betty is not in Love my Brother is I
wonder he has not broke his Mind to Betty I warrant she wont say NO They that
yield when they are askd says Robin are one step before them that were never
askd to yield and two Steps before them that yield before they are askd And
thats an Answer to you Sister
This fird the Sister and she flew into a Passion and said things were
come to that pass that it was time the Wench meaning me was out of the
Family and but that she was not fit to be turnd out she hopd her Father and
Mother would consider of it as soon as she could be removd
Robin replyd That was for the Master and Mistress of the Family who were
not to be taught by One that had so little Judgment as his eldest Sister
It run up a great deal farther the Sister Scolded Robin Rallyd and
Banterd but poor Betty lost ground by it extreamly in the Family I heard of
it and cryd heartily and the old Lady came up to me some body having told
her that I was so much concernd about it I complaind to her that it was very
hard the Doctors should pass such a Censure upon me for which they had no
Ground and that it was still harder considering the Circumstances I was under
in the Family that I hopd I had done nothing to lessen her Esteem for me or
given any occasion for the Bickering between her Sons and Daughters and I had
more need to think of a Coffin than of being in Love and begd she would not
let me suffer in her Opinion for anybodys Mistakes but my own
She was sensible of the Justice of what I said but told me since there had
been such a Clamour among them and that her younger Son talkd after such a
rattling way as he did she desird I would be so Faithful to her as to Answer
her but one Question sincerely I told her I would and with the utmost
Plainness and Sincerity Why then the Question was Whether there was any thing
between her son Robert and me I told her with all the Protestations of
Sincerity that I was able to make and as I might well do that there was not
nor ever had been I told her that Mr Robert had rattled and jested as she
knew it was his way and that I took it always as I supposd he meant it to be
a wild airy way of Discourse that had no Signification in it And assured her
that there was not the least tittle of what she understood by it between us and
that those who had Suggested it had done me a great deal of Wrong and Mr
Robert no Service at all
The old Lady was fully satisfyd and kissd me spoke chearfully to me and
bid me take care of my Health and want for nothing and so took her leave But
when she came down she found the Brother and all his Sisters together by the
Ears they were angry even to Passion at his upbraiding them with their being
Homely and having never had any Sweet hearts never having been askd the
Question their being so forward as almost to ask first and the like He
rallied them with Mrs Betty how Pretty how good Humourd how she Sung better
than they did and Dancd better and how much Handsomer she was and in doing
this he omitted no Illnaturd Thing that could vex them The old Lady came
down in the height of it and to stop it told them the Discourse she had had
with me and how I answerd that there was nothing between Mr Robert and I
Shes wrong there says Robin for if there was not a great deal between us
we should be closer together than we are I told her I Loved her hugely says
he but I could never make the Jade believe I was in Earnest I do not know how
you should says his Mother no body in their Senses could believe you were in
Earnest to Talk so to a poor Girl whose Circumstances you know so well
But Prithee Son adds she since you tell us you could not make her believe
you were in Earnest what must we believe about it for you ramble so in your
Discourse that no body knows whether you are in Earnest or in Jest But as I
find the Girl by your own Confession has answerd truly I wish you would do so
too and tell me seriously so that I may depend upon it Is there any thing in
it or no Are you in Earnest or no Are you Distracted indeed or are you not
Tis a weighty Question I wish you would make us easy about it
By my Faith Madam says Robin tis in vain to mince the Matter or tell any
more Lyes about it I am in Earnest as much as a Man is thats going to be
Hangd If Mrs Betty would say she Lovd me and that she would Marry me Id
have her tomorrow Morning fasting and say To have and to hold instead of
eating my Breakfast
Well says the Mother Then theres one Son lost and she said it in a very
mournful Tone as one greatly concernd at it I hope not Madam says Robin no
Man is lost when a good Wife has found him Why but Child says the old Lady
she is a Beggar Why then Madam she has the more need of Charity says Robin
Ill take her off the hands of the Parish and she and Ill Beg together Its
bad Jesting with such things says the Mother I dont Jest Madam says Robin
Well come and beg your Pardon Madam and your Blessing Madam and my
Fathers This is all out of the way Son says the Mothe if you are in Earnest
you are Undone I am afraid not says he for I am really afraid she wont have
me after all my Sisters huffing I believe I shall never be able to persuade
her to it
Thats a fine Tale indeed she is not so far gone neither Mrs Betty is no
Fool says the youngest Sister do you think she has learnd to say NO any more
than other People No Mrs MirthWit says Robin Mrs Bettys no Fool but
Mrs Betty may be engaged some other way And what then Nay says the eldest
sister we can say nothing to that Who must it be to then She is never out of
the Doors it must be between you I have nothing to say to that says Robin I
have been examined enough theres my Brother if it must be between us go to
work with him
This stung the elder Brother to the Quick and he concluded that Robin had
discoverd something However he kept himself from appearing disturbd
Prithee says he Dont go to sham your Stories off upon me I tell you I deal
in no such Ware I have nothing to say to no Mrs Bettys in the Parish and
with that he rose up and brush d off No says the eldest Sister I dare
answer for my Brother he knows the World better
Thus the Discourse ended but it left the eldest Brother quite confounded
He concluded his Brother had made a full Discovery and he began to doubt
whether I had been concernd in it or not but with all his Management he
could not bring it about to get at me at last he was so perplexd that he was
quite Desperate and resolvd he would see me whatever came of it In order to
this he contrivd it so that one Day after Dinner watching his eldest Sister
till he could see her go up Stairs he runs after her Hark ye Sister says he
Where is this sick Woman may not a Body see her Yes says the Sister I
believe you may but let me go in first a little and Ill tell you so she run
up to the Door and gave me Notice and presently calld to him again Brother
says she you may come in if you please so in he came just in the same kind of
Rant Well says he at the Door as he came in Wheres this sick Body thats
in Love How do ye do Mrs Betty I would have got up out of my Chair but was
so weak I could not for a good while and he saw it and his Sister too and she
said Come do not strive to stand up my Brother desires no Ceremony
especially now you are so Weak No no Mrs Betty Pray sit still says he
and so sits himself down in a Chair over against me and appeard as if he was
mighty Merry
He talkd a deal of rambling Stuff to his Sister and to me sometimes of
one thing sometimes another on purpose to amuse her and every now and then
would turn it upon the old Story Poor Mrs Betty says he It is a sad thing to
be in Love why it has reduced you sadly at last I spoke a little I am glad to
see you so merry Sir says I but I think the Doctor might have found something
better to do than to make his Game of his Patients If I had been Ill of no
other Distemper I know the Proverb too well to have let him come to me What
Proverb says he
What
»Where Love is the Case
The Doctors an Ass«
Is that not it Mrs Betty I smild and said nothing Nay says he I think the
Effect has provd it to be Love for it seems the Doctor has done you little
Service you mend very slowly they say I doubt theres somewhat in it Mrs
Betty I doubt you are sick of the Incurables I smild and said No indeed Sir
thats none of my Distemper
We had a deal of such Discourse and sometimes others that signified as
little by and by he askd me to sing them a Song at which I smild and said
my singing Days were over At last he askd me if he should Play upon his Flute
to me his Sister said she believd my Head could not bear it I bowd and said
Pray Madam do not hinder it I love the Flute very much then his Sister said
well do then Brother with that he pulld out the Key of his Closet Dear
Sister says he I am very Lazy do step and fetch my Flute it lies in such a
Drawer naming a Place where he was sure it was not that she might be a little
while a looking for it
As soon as she was gone he related the whole Story to me of the Discourse
his Brother had about me and his concern about it which was the Reason of his
contriving this Visit I assured him I had never opened my Mouth either to his
Brother or to any Body else I told him the dreadful Exigence I was in that my
Love to him and his offering to have me forget that Affection and remove it to
another had thrown me down and that I had a Thousand times wishd I might Dye
rather than Recover and to have the same Circumstances to struggle with as I
had before I added that I foresaw that as soon as I was well I must quit the
Family and that as for marrying his Brother I abhord the thoughts of it
after what had been my Case with him and that he might depend upon it I would
never see his Brother again upon that Subject That if he would break all his
Vows and Oaths and Engagements with me be that between his Conscience and
himself But he should never be able to say that I who he had perswaded to call
my self his Wife and who had given him the Liberty to use me as a Wife was not
as Faithful to him as a Wife ought to be whatever he might be to me
He was going to reply and had said That he was sorry I could not be
perswaded and was a going to say more but he heard his Sister a coming and so
did I and yet I forced out these few Words as a reply That I could never be
perswaded to Love one Brother and Marry the other He shook his Head and said
Then I am ruind meaning himself and that Moment his Sister enterd the Room
and told him she could not find the Flute Well says he merrily This Laziness
wont do so he gets up and goes himself to look for it but comes back without
it too not but that he could have found it but he had no mind to Play and
besides the Errand he sent his Sister on was answerd another way for he only
wanted to speak to me which he had done tho not much to his Satisfaction
I had however a great deal of Satisfaction in having spoken my Mind to him
in Freedom and with such an honest Plainness as I have related and tho it
did not at all work the way I desired that is to say to oblige the Person to
me the more yet it took from him all Possibility of quitting me but by a down
right breach of Honour and giving up all the Faith of a Gentleman which he had
so often engaged by never to abandon me but to make me his Wife as soon as he
came to his Estate
It was not many Weeks after this before I was about the House again and
began to grow well but I continued Melancholly and Retird which amazd the
whole Family except he that knew the Reason of it yet it was a great while
before he took any Notice of it and I as backward to speak as he carried as
respectfully to him but never offerd to speak a Word that was Particular of
any kind whatsoever and this continued for Sixteen or Seventeen Weeks so that
as I expected every Day to be dismissd the Family on Account of what Distaste
they had taken another way in which I had no Guilt I expected to hear no more
of this Gentleman after all his solemn Vows but to be ruind and abandond
At last I broke the way my self in the Family for my Removing for being
talking seriously with the old Lady one Day about my own Circumstances and how
my Distemper had left a Heaviness upon my Spirits The old Lady said I am
afraid Betty what I have said to you about my Son has had some Influence upon
you and that you are Melancholly on his Account Pray will you let me know how
the Matter stands with you both If it may not be improper for as for Robin he
does nothing but Rally and Banter when I speak of it to him Why truly madam
said I that Matter stands as I wish it did not and I shall be very Sincere
with you in it whatever befalls me Mr Robert has several times proposd
Marriage to me which is what I had no Reason to expect my poor Circumstances
considerd but I have always resisted him and that perhaps in Terms more
possitive than became me considering the Regard that I ought to have for every
Branch of your Family But said I Madam I could never so far forget my
Obligations to you and all your House to offer to Consent to a Thing which I
knew must needs be Disobliging to you and have possitively told him that I
would never entertain a Thought of that kind unless I had your Consent and his
Fathers also to whom I was bound by so many invincible Obligations
And is this possible Mrs Betty says the Old Lady Then you have been much
Juster to us than we have been to you for we have all lookd upon you as a kind
of a Snare to my Son and I had a Proposal to make you for your Removing for
fear of it but I had not yet mentiond it to you because I was afraid of
grieving you too much least it should throw you down again for we have a
Respect for you still tho not so much as to have it be the Ruin of my Son but
if it be as you say we have all wrongd you very much
As to the Truth of what I say Madam said I I refer to your Son himself
if he will do me any Justice he must tell you the Story just as I have told it
Away goes the Old Lady to her Daughters and tells them the whole Story
just as I had told it her and they were surprisd at it you may be sure as I
believd they would be one said she could never have thought it another said
Robin was a Fool a Third said she would not believe a Word of it and she
would warrant that Robin would tell the Story another way but the old Lady who
was resolvd to go to the bottom of it before I could have the least
Opportunity of acquainting her Son with what had passd resolvd too that she
would talk with her Son immediately and to that purpose sent for him for he
was gone but to a Lawyers House in the Town and upon her sending he returned
immediately
Upon his coming up to them for they were all together Sit down Robin says
the old Lady I must have some talk with you with all my Heart Madam says
Robin looking very Merry I hope it is about a good Wife for I am at a great
Loss in that Affair How can that be says his Mother did you not say you
resolvd to have Mrs Betty Ay Madam says Robin but there is one that has
forbid the Banns Forbid the Banns who can that be Even Mrs Betty herself
says Robin How so says his Mother have you askd her the Question then Yes
indeed Madam says Robin I have attackd her in Form five times since she was
Sick and am beaten off the Jade is so stout she wont Capitulate nor Yield
upon any Terms except such as I cant effectually grant Explain your self
says the Mother for I am surprisd I do not understand you I hope you are not
in Earnest
Why Madam says he the Case is plain enough upon me it explains its self
she wont have me she says is not that plain enough I think tis plain and
pretty rough too Well but says the Mother you talk or Conditions that you
cannot grant what does she want a Settlement Her Joynter ought to be according
to her Portion what does she bring Nay as to Fortune says Robin she is rich
enough I am satisfied in that Point but tis I that am not able to come up to
her Terms and she is possitive she will not have me without
Here the Sisters put in Madam says the Second Sister tis impossible to
be serious with him he will never give a direct Answer to any thing you had
better let him alone and talk no more of it you know how to dispose of her out
of his way Robin was a little warmd with his Sisters Rudeness but he was
even with her presently there are two sorts of People Madam says he turning
to his Mother that there is no contending with that is a wise Body and a Fool
tis a little hard I should engage with both of them together
The younger Sister then put in we must be Fools indeed says she in my
Brothers Opinion that he should make us believe he has seriously askd Mrs
Betty to marry him and she has refusd him
Answer and Answer not says Solomon replyd her Brother When your Brother
had said that he had askd her no less than five Times and that she possitively
denied him methinks a younger Sister need not question the Truth of it when
her Mother did not My Mother you see did not understand it says the Second
Sister Theres some Difference says Robin between desiring me to explain it
and telling me she did not believe it
Well but Son says the Old Lady if you are disposed to let us into the
Mystery of it What were these hard Conditions Yes Madam says Robin I had
done it before now if the Teazers here had not worried me by way of
Interruption The Conditions are that I bring my Father and you to Consent to
it and without that she protests she will never see me more upon that Head
and the Conditions as I said I suppose I shall never be able to Grant I hope
my warm Sisters will be answerd now and blush a little
This Answer was surprising to them all tho less to the Mother because of
what I had said to her as to the Daughters they stood Mute a great while but
the Mother said with some Passion Well I heard this before but I could not
believe it but if it is so then we have all done Betty wrong and she has
behavd better than I expectd Nay says the eldest Sister if it is so she
has acted Handsomely indeed I confess says the Mother it was none of her
Fault if he was enough Fool to take a Fancy to her but to give such an Answer
to him shews more Respect to us than I can tell how to express I shall value
the Girl the better for it as long as I know her But I shall not says Robin
unless you will give your Consent Ill consider of that a while says the
Mother I assure you if there were not some other Objections this Conduct of
hers would go a great way to bring me to Consent I wish it would go quite thro
with it says Robin if you had as much thought about making me easy as you
have about making me Rich you would soon Consent to it
Why Robin says the Mother again are you really in Earnest Would you fain
have her Really Madam says Robin I think tis hard you should question me
again upon that Head I wont say that I will have her how can I resolve that
Point when you see I cannot have her without your Consent but this I will say
I am Earnest that I will never have any Body else if I can help it Betty or
no Body is the Word and the Question which of the Two shall be in your Breast
to decide Madam provided only That my good humourd Sisters here may have no
Vote in it
All this was dreadful to me for the Mother began to yield and Robin
pressd her Home in it On the other hand she advised with the Eldest Son and
he used all the Arguments in the World to perswade her to consent alledging his
Brothers Passionate Love for me and my generous Regard to the Family in
refusing my own Advantages upon such a nice Point of Honour and a Thousand such
Things And as to the Father he was a Man in a hurry of publick Affairs and
getting Money seldom at Home thoughtful of the main Chance but left all those
things to his Wife
You may easily believe that when the Plot was thus as they thought broke
out It was not so Difficult or so Dangerous for the Elder Brother who no
Body suspected of any thing to have a freer Access than before Nay the
Mother which was just as he wished Proposd it to him to talk with Mrs Betty
it may be Son said she you may see farther into the Thing than I and see if
she has been so Possitive as Robin says she has been or no This was as well as
he could wish and he as it were yielding to talk with me at his Mothers
Request she brought me to him into her own Chamber told me her Son had some
Business with me at her Request and then she left us together and he shut the
Door after her
He came back to me and took me in his Arms and kissd me very Tenderly but
told me it was now come to that Crisis that I should make my self Happy or
Miserable as long as I livd That if I could not comply to his Desire we
should both be Ruind Then he told me the whole Story between Robin as he
calld him and his Mother and his Sisters and himself as above And now dear
Child says he consider what it will be to marry a Gentleman of a good Family
in good Circumstances and with the Consent of the whole House and to enjoy all
that the World can give you And what on the other hand to be sunk into the
dark Circumstances of a Woman that has lost her Reputation and that tho I
shall be a private Friend to you while I live yet as I shall be suspected
always so you will be afraid to see me and I shall be afraid to own you
He gave me no time to Reply but went on with me thus What has happened
between us Child so long as we both agree to do so may be buried and
forgotten I shall always be your sincere Friend without any Inclination to
nearer Intimacy when you become my Sister and we shall have all the honest
part of Conversation without any Reproaches between us of having done amiss I
beg of you to consider it and do not stand in the way of your own Safety and
Prosperity and to satisfy you that I am Sincere added he I here offer you
Five Hundred Pounds to make you some amends for the Freedoms I have taken with
you which we shall look upon as some of the Follies of our Lives which tis
hoped we may repent of
He spoke this in so much more moving Terms than it is possible for me to
express that you may suppose as he held me above an Hour and Half in that
Discourse so he answerd all my Objections and fortified his Discourse with
all the Arguments that humane Wit and Art could devise
I cannot say however that any thing he said made Impression enough upon me
so as to give me any thought of the Matter till he told me at last very
plainly that if I refusd he was sorry to add that he could never go on with
me in that Station as we stood before that tho he lovd me as well as ever
and that I was as agreeable to him yet the Sense of Virtue had not so forsaken
him as to suffer him to lye with a Woman that his Brother courted to make his
Wife that if he took his Leave of me with a denial from me in this Affair
whatever he might do for me in the Point of Support grounded on his first
Engagement of maintaining me yet he would not have me be surprisd that he was
obliged to tell me he could not allow himself to see me any more and that
indeed I could not expect it of him
I received this last Part with some Tokens of Surprize and Disorder and had
much ado to avoid sinking down for indeed I lovd him to an Extravagance not
easy to imagine but he perceivd my Disorder and entreated me to consider
seriously of it assured me that it was the only way to preserve our mutual
Affection that in this Station we might love as Friends with the utmost
Passion and with a love of Relation untainted free from our own just
Reproaches and free from other Peoples Suspicions That he should ever
acknowledge his happiness owing to me that he would be Debtor to me as long as
he livd and would be paying that Debt as long as he had Breath Thus he
wrought me up in short to a kind of Hesitation in the Matter having the
Dangers on one Side represented in lively Figures and indeed heightend by my
Imagination of being turnd out to the wide World a meer Castoff Whore for it
was no less and perhaps exposd as such with little to provide for myself
with no Friend no Acquaintance in the whole World out of that Town and there
I could not pretend to stay all this terrifyd me to the last Degree and he
took care upon all Occasions to lay it home to me in the worst Colours on the
other hand he faild not to set forth the easy prosperous Life which I was
going to live
He answerd all that I could object from Affection and from former
Engagements with telling me the Necessity that was before us of taking other
Measures now and as to his Promises of Marriage the Nature of things he said
had put an End to that by the Probability of my being his Brothers Wife
before the time to which his Promises all referrd
Thus in a Word I may say he reasond me out of my Reason he conquerd all
my Arguments and I began to see a Danger that I was in which I had not
considered of before and that was of being dropd by both of them and left
alone in the World to shift for my self
This and his Perswasion at length prevaild with me to Consent tho with
so much Reluctance that it was easy to see I should go to Church like a Bear
to the Stake I had some little Apprehensions about me too lest my new Spouse
who by the way I had not the least Affection for should be Skilful enough to
Challenge me on another Account upon our first coming to Bed together but
whether he did it with design or not I know not but his elder Brother took
care to make him very much Fuddled before he went to Bed so that I had the
Satisfaction of a drunken Bedfellow the first Night How he did it I know not
but I concluded that he certainly contrivd it that his Brother might be able
to make no Judgment of the difference between a Maid and a married Woman nor
did he ever entertain any Notions of it or disturb his Thoughts about it
I should go back a little here to where I left off the elder Brother
having thus managed me his next Business was to manage his Mother and he never
left till he had brought her to acquiesce and be passive even without
acquainting the Father other than by Post Letters So that she consented to our
Marrying privately leaving her to manage the Father afterwards
Then he cajold with his Brother and perswaded him what Service he had done
him and how he had brought his Mother to Consent which tho True was not
indeed done to serve him but to serve himself but thus diligently did he cheat
him and had the Thanks of a faithful Friend for shifting off his Whore into his
Brothers Arms for a Wife So naturally do Men give up Honour and Justice and
even Christianity to secure themselves
I must now come back to Brother Robin as we always calld him who having
got his Mothers Consent as above came big with the News to me and told me
the whole Story of it with a Sincerity so visible that I must confess it
grievd me that I must be the Instrument to abuse so honest a Gentleman but
there was no Remedy he would have me and I was not obligd to tell him that I
was his Brothers Whore tho I had no other way to put him off so I came
gradually into it and behold we were married
Modesty forbids me to reveal the Secrets of the Marriage Bed but nothing
could have happend more suitable to my Circumstances than that as above my
Husband was so Fuddled when he came to Bed that he could not remember in the
Morning whether he had had any Conversation with me or no and I was obliged to
tell him he had tho in reality he had not that I might be sure he could make
no enquiry about any thing else
It concerns the Story in Hand very little to enter into the farther
Particulars of the Family or of my self for the five Years that I livd with
this Husband only to observe that I had two Children by him and that at the
end of the five Years he died He had been really a very good Husband to me and
we livd very agreeably together but as he had not received much from them and
had in the little time he livd acquird no great Matters so my Circumstances
were not great nor was I much mended by the Match Indeed I had preservd the
elder Brothers Bonds to me to pay me 500l which he offered me for my Consent
to marry his Brother and this with what I had saved of the Money he formerly
gave me and about as much more by my Husband left me a Widow with about 1200l
in my Pocket
My two Children were indeed taken happily off of my Hands by my Husbands
Father and Mother and that was all they got by Mrs Betty
I confess I was not suitably affected with the loss of my Husband nor can I
say that I ever lovd him as I ought to have done or was suitable to the good
Usage I had from him for he was a tender kind good humourd Man as any Woman
could desire but his Brother being so always in my Sight at least while we
were in the Country was a continual Snare to me and I never was in Bed with my
Husband but I wishd my self in the Arms of his Brother and tho his Brother
never offerd me the least Kindness that way after our Marriage but carried it
just as a Brother ought to do yet it was impossible for me to do so to him In
short I committed Adultery and Incest with him every Day in my Desires which
without doubt was as effeftually Criminal
Before my Husband dyd his elder Brother was married and we being then
removd to London were written to by the old Lady to come and be at the
Wedding my Husband went but I pretended Indisposition so I staid behind for
in short I could not bear the sight of his being given to another Woman tho I
knew I was never to have him my self
I was now as above left loose to the World and being still young and
handsome as every Body said of me and I assure you I thought my self so and
with a tolerable Fortune in my Pocket I put no small Value upon my self I was
courted by several very considerable Tradesmen and particularly very warmly by
one a LinnenDraper at whose House after my Husbands Death I took a
Lodging his Sister being my Acquaintance here I had all the Liberty and
Opportunity to be Gay and appear in Company that I could desire my Landlords
Sister being one of the Maddest Gayest things alive and not so much Mistress
of her Vertue as I thought at first she had been She brought me into a World of
wild Company and even brought home several Persons such as she likd well
enough to Gratify to see her pretty Widow Now as Fame and Fools make an
Assembly I was here wonderfully caressd had abundance of Admirers and such
as calld themselves Lovers but I found not one fair Proposal among them all
as for their common Design that I understood too well to be drawn into any more
Snares of that Kind The case was alterd with me I had Money in my Pocket and
had nothing to say to them I had been trickd once by that Cheat calld Love
but the Game was over I was resolvd now to be married or nothing and to be
well married or not at all
I lovd the Company indeed of Men of Mirth and Wit and was often
entertaind with such as I was also with others but I found by just
Observation that the brightest Men came upon the dullest Errand that is to say
the dullest as to what I aimd at on the other hand those who came with the
best Proposals were the dullest and most disagreeable Part of the World I was
not averse to a Tradesman but then I would have a Tradesman Forsooth that was
something of a Gentleman too that when my Husband had a mind to carry me to the
Court or to the Play he might become a Sword and look as like a Gentleman as
another Man and not like one that had the mark of his Apronstrings upon his
Coat or the mark of his Hat upon his Perriwig that should look as if he was
set on to his Sword when his Sword was put on to him and that carried his
Trade in his Countenance
Well at last I found this amphibious Creature this Landwaterthing
calld a GentlemanTradesman and as a just Plague upon my Folly I was catchd
in the very Snare which as I might say I laid for my self
This was a Draper too for tho my Comrade would have bargaind for me with
her Brother yet when they came to the Point it was it seems for a Mistress
and I kept true to this Notion that a Woman should never be kept for a
Mistress that had Money to make her self a Wife
Thus my Pride not my Principle my Money not my Vertue kept me Honest
tho as it provd I found I had much better have been Sold by my She Comrade
to her Brother than have sold my self as I did to a Tradesman that was Rake
Gentleman Shopkeeper and Beggar all together
But I was hurried on by my Fancy to a Gentleman to Ruin my self in the
grossest Manner that ever Woman did for my new Husband coming to a lump of
Money at once fell into such a Profusion of Expence that all I had and all he
had would not have held it out above one Year
He was very fond of me for about a quarter of a Year and what I got by
that was that I had the Pleasure of seeing a great deal of my Money spent upon
my self Come my Dear says he to me one Day shall we go and take a turn into
the Country for a Week Ay my dear says I Whither would you go I care not
whither says he but I have a mind to look like Quality for a Week well go to
Oxford says he How says I shall we go I am no HorseWoman and tis too far
for a Coach Too far says he no Place is too far for a Coach and Six If I
carry you out you shall Travel like a Dutchess Hum says I my Dear tis a
Frolick but if you have a mind to it I dont care Well the time was
appointed we had a Rich Coach very good Horses a Coachman Postillion and
two Footmen in very good Liveries a Gentleman on Horseback and a Page with a
Feather in his Hat upon another Horse the Servants all calld him my Lord and
I was her Honour the Countess and thus we traveld to Oxford and a pleasant
Journey we had for give him his due not a Beggar alive knew better how to be a
Lord than my Husband We saw all the Rarities at Oxford talkd with two or
three Fellows of Colleges about putting a Nephew that was left to his
Lordships Care to the University and of their being his Tutors we diverted
our selves with bantering several other poor Scholars with the hopes of being
at least his Lordships Chaplain and putting on a Scarf and thus having livd
like Quality indeed as to Expence we went away for Northampton and in a Word
in about Twelve Days ramble came Home again to the Tune of about 93l Expence
Vanity is the Perfection of a Fop my Husband had this Excellence that he
valued nothing of Expence as his History you may be sure has very little
weight in it tis enough to tell you that in about two Years and a Quarter he
Broke got into a SpungingHouse being arrested in an Action too heavy for him
to give Bail to so he sent for me to come to him
It was no surprise to me for I had foreseen something before that all was
going to Wreck and had been taking care to reserve something if I could for my
self But when he sent for me he behavd much better than I expected He told
me plainly he had plaid the Fool and sufferd himself to be surprizd which
he might have prevented that now he foresaw he could not stand it and
therefore he would have me go Home and in the Night take away every thing I had
in the House of any Value and secure it and after that he told me that if I
could get away 100l or 200l in Goods out of the Shop I should do it only
says he let me know nothing of it neither what you take or whither you carry
it for as for me says he I am resolvd to get out of this House and be gone
and if you never hear of me more My Dear says he I wish you well lam only
sorry for the Injury I have done you He said some very handsome Things to me
indeed at Parting for I told you he was a Gentleman and that was all the
Benefit I had of his being so that he used me very handsomely even to the
last only spent all I had and left me to Rob the Creditors for something to
subsist on
However I did as he bad me that you may be sure and having thus taken my
leave of him I never saw him more for he found means to break out of the
Bailiffs House that Night or the next How I knew not for I could come at no
Knowledge of anything more than this that he came Home about three a Clock in
the Morning causd the rest of his Goods to be removd into the Mint and the
Shop to be shut up and having raisd what Money he could he got over to France
from whence I had one or two Letters from him and no more
I did not see him when he came Home for he having given me such
Instructions as above and I having made the best of my Time I had no more
Business back again at the House not knowing but I might have been stopd there
by the Creditors for a Commission of Bankrupt being soon after Issued they
might have stopd me by Orders from the Commissioners But my Husband having
desperately got out from the Bailiffs by letting himself down from almost the
top of the House to the top of another Building and leaping from thence which
was almost two Stories and which was enough indeed to have broken his Neck He
came home and got away his Goods before the Creditors could come to Seize that
is to say before they could get out the Commission and be ready to send their
Officers to take Possession
My Husband was so civil to me for still I say he was much of a Gentleman
that in the first Letter he wrote me he let me know where he had Pawnd 20
Pieces of fine Holland for 30l which were worth above 90l and enclosd me the
Token for the taking them up paying the Money which I did and made in time
above 100l of them having Leisure to cut them and sell them to private
Families as opportunity offerd
However with all this and all that I had securd before I found upon
casting things up my Case was very much alterd and my Fortune much lessend
for including the Hollands and a parcel of fine Muslins which I carryd off
before and some Plate and other things I found I could hardly muster up 500l
and my Condition was very odd for tho I had no Child I had had one by my
Gentleman Draper but it was buried yet I was a Widow bewitchd I had a
Husband and no Husband and I could not pretend to Marry again though I knew
well enough my Husband would never see England any more if he livd fifty
Years Thus I say I was limited from Marriage what Offer soever might be made
me and I had not one Friend to advise with in the Condition I was in at least
not one who I could Trust the Secret of my Circumstances to for if the
Commissioners were to have been informd where I was I should have been fetchd
up and all I had savd be taken away
Upon these Apprehensions the first thing I did was to go quite out of my
Knowledge and go by another Name This I did effectually for I went into the
Mint too took Lodgings in a very private Place dressd me up in the Habit of a
Widow and calld my self Mrs Flanders
Here however I conceald my self and tho my new Acquaintance knew
nothing of me yet I soon got a great deal of Company about me and whether it
be that Women are scarce among the People that generally are to be found there
or that some Consolations in the Miseries of that Place are more requisite than
on other Occasions I soon found that an agreeable Woman was exceedingly
valuable among the Sons of Affliction there and that those that coud not pay
Half a Crown in the Pound to their Creditors and run in Debt at the Sign of the
Bull for their Dinners would yet find Money for a Supper if they likd the
Woman
However I kept myself safe yet tho I began like my Lord Rochesters
Mistress that lovd his Company but would not admit him farther to have the
Scandal of a Whore without the Joy and upon this score tird with the Place
and with the Company too I began to think of Removing
It was indeed a Subject of strange Reflection to me to see Men in the most
perplexd Circumstances who were reducd some Degress below being ruind whose
Families were Objects of their own Terror and other Peoples Charity yet while
a Penny lasted nay even beyond it endeavouring to drown their Sorrow in their
Wickedness heaping up more Guilt upon themselves labouring to forget former
things which now it was the proper time to remember making more Work for
Repentance and Sinning on as a Remedy for Sin past
But it is none of my Talent to preach these Men were too wicked even for
me there was something horrid and absurd in their way of Sinning for it was
all a force even upon themselves they did not only act against Conscience but
against Nature and nothing was more easy than to see how Sighs would interrupt
their Songs and paleness and anguish sit upon their Brows in spight of the
forcd Smiles they put on nay sometimes it would break out at their very
Mouths when they had parted with their Money for a lewd Treat or a wicked
Embrace I have heard them turning about fetch a deep Sigh and cry what a Dog
am I Well Betty my Dear Ill drink thy health tho meaning the Honest Wife
that perhaps had not a Half Crown for herself and three or four Children The
next Morning they were at their Penitentials again and perhaps the poor weeping
Wife comes over to him either brings him some Account of what his Creditors are
doing and how she and the Children are turnd out of Doors or some other
dreadful News and this adds to his self Reproaches but when he has thought and
pord on it till he is almost Mad having no Principles to support him nothing
within him or above him to Comfort him but finding it all Darkness on every
Side he flies to the same Relief again viz to drink it away debauch it away
and falling into Company of Men in just the same Condition with himself he
repeats the Crime and thus he goes every Day one Step onward of his way to
Destruction
I was not wicked enough for such Fellows as these yet on the contrary I
began to consider here very seriously what I had to do how things stood with
me and what Course I ought to take I knew I had no Friends no not one Friend
or Relation in the World and that little I had left apparently wasted which
when it was gone I saw nothing but Misery and Starving was before me Upon
these Considerations I say and filld with Horror at the Place I was in I
resolvd to be gone
I had made an Acquaintance with a sober good sort of a Woman who was a
Widow too like me but in better Circumstances her Husband had been a Captain
of a Ship and having had the Misfortune to be Cast away coming Home from the
West Indies was so reducd by the Loss that tho he had saved his Life then
it broke his Heart and killd him afterwards and his Widow being persued by
the Creditors was forcd to take Shelter in the Mint She soon made things up
with the help of Friends and was at Liberty again and finding that I rather
was there to be conceald than by any particular Prosecutions and finding also
that I agreed with her or rather she with me in a just Abhorrence of the Place
and of the Company she invited me to go home with her till I could put myself
in some posture of settling in the World to my Mind withal telling me that it
was Ten to One but some good Captain of a Ship might take a Fancy to me and
Court me in that part of the Town where she livd
I accepted of her Offer and was with her half a Year and should have been
longer but in that interval what she proposd to me happend to herself and
she marryd very much to her Advantage but whose Fortune soever was upon the
Increase mine seemd to be upon the Wane and I found nothing present except
two or three Boatswains or such Fellows but as for the Commanders they were
generally of two Sorts 1 Such as having good Business that is to say a good
Ship resolvd not to Marry but with Advantage 2 Such as being out of Employ
wanted a Wife to help them to a Ship I mean 1 A Wife who having some Money
could enable them to hold a good part of a Ship themselves so to encourage
Owners to come in or 2 A Wife who if she had not Money had Friends who
were concernd in Shipping and so could help to put the young Man into a good
Ship and neither of these was my Case so I lookd like one that was to lie on
Hand
This Knowledge I soon learnt by Experience viz That the State of Things
was altered as to Matrimony that Marriages were here the Consequences of
politick Schemes for forming Interests carrying on Business and that LOVE had
no Share or but very little in the Matter
That as my Sister in Law at Colchester had said Beauty Wit Manners
Sense good Humour good Behaviour Education Vertue Piety or any other
Qualification whether of Body or Mind had no power to recommend That Money
only made a Woman agreeable That Men chose Mistresses indeed by the gust of
their Affection and it was requisite for a Whore to be Handsome well shapd
have a good Mein and a graceful Behaviour but that for a Wife no Deformity
would shock the Fancy no ill Qualities the Judgment the Money was the thing
the Portion was neither crooked or Monstrous but the Money was always
agreeable whatever the Wife was
On the other Hand as the Market run all on the Mens side I found the Women
had lost the Privilege of saying No that it was a Favour now for a Woman to
have The Question askd and if any young Lady had so much Arrogance as to
Counterfeit a Negative she never had the Opportunity of denying twice much
less of Recovering that false Step and accepting what she had seemd to
decline The Men had such Choice every where that the Case of the Women was
very unhappy for they seemd to Ply at every Door and if the Man was by great
Chance refusd at one House he was sure to be receivd at the next
Besides this I observd that the Men made no scruple to set themselves out
and to go a FortuneHunting as they call it when they had really no Fortune
themselves to demand it or Merit to deserve it and they carryd it so high
that a Woman was scarce allowd to enquire after the Character or Estate of the
Person that pretended to her This I had an Example of in a young Lady at the
next House to me and with whom I had contracted an Intimacy she was Courted by
a young Captain and tho she had near 2000l to her Fortune she did but
enquire of some of his Neighbours about his Character his Morals or Substance
and he took Occasion at the next Visit to let her know truly that he took it
very ill and that he should not give her the Trouble of his Visits any more I
heard of it and I had begun my Acquaintance with her I went to see her upon
it She enterd into a close Conversation with me about it and unbosomd
herself very freely I perceivd presently that tho she thought herself very
ill usd yet she had no power to resent it that she was exceedingly piqud she
had lost him and particularly that another of less Fortune had gaind him
I fortifyd her Mind against such a Meanness as I calld it I told her
that as low as I was in the World I would have despisd a Man that should think
I ought to take him upon his own Recommendation only also I told her that as
she had a good Fortune she had no need to stoop to the Disaster of the Times
that it was enough that the Men could insult us that had but little Money but
if she sufferd such an Affront to pass upon her without resenting it she would
be renderd lowprizd upon all Occasions that a Woman can never want an
Opportunity to be revengd of a Man that has usd her ill and that there were
ways enough to humble such a Fellow as that or else certainly Women were the
most unhappy Creatures in the World
She was very well pleasd with the Discourse and told me seriously that she
would be very glad to make him sensible of her resentment and either to bring
him on again or have the Satisfaction of her Revenge being as publick as
possible
I told her that if she would take my Advice I would tell her how she
should obtain her Wishes in both those things and that I would engage I would
bring the Man to her Door again and make him beg to be let in She smild at
that and soon let me see that if he came to her Door her resentment was not
so great to let him stand long there
However she listened very willingly to my Offer of Advice so I told her
that the first thing she ought to do was a piece of Justice to herself namely
that whereas he had reported among the Ladies that he had left her and
pretended to give the Advantage of the Negative to himself she should take care
to have it well spread among the Women which she could not fail of an
Opportunity to do that she had enquired into his Circumstances and found he
was not the Man he pretended to be Let them be told too Madam said I that you
found he was not the Man you expected and that you thought it was not safe to
meddle with him that you heard he was of an ill Temper and that he boasted how
he had usd the Women ill upon many Occasions and that particularly he was
debauchd in his Morals ampc The last of which indeed had some Truth in it
but I did not find that she seemd to like him much the worse for that part
She came most readily into all this and immediately she went to Work to
find Instruments she had very little difficulty in the Search for telling her
Story in general to a Couple of her Gossips it was the Chat of the Tea Table
all over that part of the Town and I met with it wherever I visited Also as
it was known that I was acquainted with the young Lady her self my Opinion was
askd very often and I confirmd it with all the necessary Aggravations and
set out his Character in the blackest Colours and as a piece of secret
Intelligence I added what the Gossips knew nothing of viz That I had heard
he was in very bad Circumstances that he was under a necessity of a Fortune to
support his Interest with the Owners of the Ship he Commanded That his own Part
was not paid for and if it was not paid quickly his Owners would put him out
of the Ship and his Chief Mate was likely to Command it who offerd to buy
that Part which the Captain had promisd to take
I added for I was heartily piqud at the Rogue as I calld him that I had
heard a Rumour too that he had a Wife alive at Plymouth and another in the
West Indies a thing which they all knew was not very uncommon for such kind of
Gentlemen
This workd as we both desird it for presently the young Lady at the next
Door who had a Father and Mother that Governd both her and her Fortune was
shut up and her Father forbid him the House Also in one Place more the Woman
had the Courage however strange it was to say No and he could try no where
but he was Reproached with his Pride and that he pretended not to give the
Women leave to enquire into his Character and the like
By this time he began to be sensible of his mistake and seeing all the
Women on that side the Water alarmd he went over to Ratcliff and got access
to some of the Ladies there but tho the young Women there too were according
to the Fate of the Day pretty willing to be askd yet such was his ill luck
that his Character followd him over the Water so that tho he might have had
Wives enough yet it did not happen among the Women that had good Fortunes
which was what he wanted
But this was not all she very ingeniously managd another thing her self
for she got a young Gentleman who was a Relation to come and visit her two or
three times a Week in a very fine Chariot and good Liveries and her two Agents
and I also presently spread a Report all over that this Gentleman came to
Court her that he was a Gentleman of a Thousand Pounds a Year and that he was
fallen in Love with her and that she was going to her Aunts in the City
because it was inconvenient for the Gentleman to come to her with his Coach to
Rotherbith the Streets being so narrow and difficult
This took immediately the Captain was laughd at in all Companies and was
ready to hang himself he tried all the ways possible to come at her again and
wrote the most passionate Letters to her in the World and in short by great
Application obtained leave to wait on her again as he said only to clear his
Reputation
At this meeting she had her full Revenge of him for she told him she
wonderd what he took her to be that she should admit any man to a Treaty of so
much Consequence as that of Marriage without enquiring into his Circumstances
that if he thought she was to be huffd into Wedlock and that she was in the
same Circumstances which her Neighbours might be in viz to take up with the
first good Christian that came he was mistaken that in a word his Character
was really bad or he was very ill beholden to his Neighbours and that unless
he could clear up some Points in which she had justly been prejudiced she had
no more to say to him but give him the Satisfaction of knowing that she was
not afraid to say NO either to him or any Man else
With that she told him what she had heard or rather raisd herself by my
Means of his Character his not having paid for the Part he pretended to own of
the Ship he Commanded of the Resolution of his Owners to put him out of the
Command and to put his Mate in his stead and of the Scandal raisd on his
Morals his having been reproachd with such and such Women and his having a
Wife at Plymouth and another in the WestIndies and the like and she askd
him whether she had not good Reason if these things were not cleard up to
refuse him and to insist upon having Satisfaction in Points so significant as
they were
He was so confounded at her Discourse that he could not answer a Word and
she began to believe that all was true by his Disorder tho she knew that she
had been the Raiser of these Reports herself
After some time he recovered a little and from that time was the most
humble modest and importunate Man alive in is Courtship
She askd him if he thought she was so at her last Shift that she could or
ought to bear such Treatment and if he did not see that she did not want those
who thought it worth their while to come farther to her than he did meaning the
Gentleman whom she had brought to visit her by way of sham
She brought him by these Tricks to submit to all possible Measures to
satisfy her as well of his Circumstances as of his Behaviour He brought her
undeniable Evidence of his having paid for his part of the Ship he brought her
Certificates from his Owners that the Report of their intending to remove him
from the Command of the Ship was false and groundless in short he was quite
the reverse of what he was before
Thus I convinced her that if the Men made their Advantage of our Sex in the
Affair of Marriage upon the Supposition of there being such a Choice to be had
and of the Women being so easy it was only owing to this that the Women wanted
Courage to maintain their Ground and that according to my Lord Rochester
»A Womans neer so ruind but she can
Revenge herself on her Undoer Man«
After these things this young Lady plaid her part so well that tho she
resolvd to have him and that indeed having him was the main bent of her
Design yet she made his obtaining her to be TO HIM the most difficult thing in
the World and this she did not by a haughty reservd Carriage but by a just
Policy playing back upon him his own Game for as he pretended by a kind of
lofty Carriage to place himself above the occasion of a Character she broke
with him upon that Subject and at the same time that she made him submit to all
possible enquiry after his Affairs she apparently shut the Door against his
looking into her own
It was enough to him to obtain her for a Wife as to what she had she told
him plainly that as he knew her Circumstances it was but just she should know
his and tho at the same time he had only known her Circumstances by common
Fame yet he had made so many Protestations of his Passion for her that he
could ask no more but her Hand to his grand Request and the like ramble
according to the Custom of Lovers In short he left himself no room to ask any
more Questions about her Estate and she took the Advantage of it for she
placed part of her Fortune so in Trustees without letting him know anything of
it that it was quite out of his Reach and made him be very well contented with
the rest
It is true she was pretty well besides that is to say she had about 1400l
in Money which she gave him and the other after some time she brought to
light as a Perquisite to herself which he was to accept as a mighty Favour
seeing though it was not to be his it might ease him in the Article of her
Particular Expences and I must add that by this Conduct the Gentleman himself
became not only more humble in his Applications to her to obtain her but also
was much the more an obliging Husband when he had her I cannot but remind the
Ladies how much they place themselves below the common Station of a Wife which
if I may be allowd not to be Partial is low enough already I say they place
themselves below their common Station and prepare their own Mortifications by
their submitting so to be insulted by the Men beforehand which I confess I see
no Necessity of
This Relation may serve therefore to let the Ladies see that the Advantage
is not so much on the other Side as the Men think it is and that tho it may
be true the Men have but too much Choice among us and that some Women may be
found who will Dishonour themselves be Cheap and too Easy to come at yet if
they will have Women worth having they may find them as uncomeatable as ever
and that those that are otherwise have often such Deficiencies when had as
rather recommend the Ladies that are difficult than encourage the Men to go on
with their easy Courtship and exped Wives equally valuable that will come at
first Call
Nothing is more certain than that the Ladies always gain of the Men by
keeping their Ground and letting their pretended Lovers see they can Resent
being slighted and that they are not afraid of saying NO They insult us
mightily with telling us of the Number of Women that the Wars and the Sea and
Trade and other Incidents have carried the Men so much away that there is no
Proportion between the Numbers of the Sexes but I am far from granting that the
Number of the Women is so great or the Number of the Men so small but if they
will have me tell the Truth the Disadvantage of the Women is a terrible Scandal
upon the Men and it lies here only Namely that the Age is so wicked and the
Sex so Debauchd that in short the Number of such Men as an honest Woman ought
to meddle with is small indeed and it is but here and there that a Man is to
be found who is fit for an honest Woman to venture upon
But the Consequence even of that too amounts to no more than this that
Women ought to be the more Nice for how do we know the just Character of the
Man that makes the Offer To say that the Woman should be the more easy on this
Occasion is to say we should be the forwarder to venture because of the
greatness of the Danger which is very absurd
On the contrary the Women have ten Thousand times the more Reason to be
wary and backward by how much the hazard of being betrayd is the greater and
would the Ladies act the wary Part they would discover every Cheat that
offerd for in short the Lives of very few Men nowaDays will bear a
Character and if the Ladies do but make a little Enquiry they would soon be
able to distinguish the Men and deliver themselves As for Women that do not
think their own Safety worth their own Thought that impatient of their present
State run into Matrimony as a Horse rushes into the Battle I can say nothing
to them but this that they are a Sort of Ladies that are to be prayd for among
the rest of distemperd People and they look like People that venture their
Estates in a Lottery where there is a Hundred Thousand Blanks to one Prize
No Man of common Sense will value a Woman the less for not giving up herself
at the first Attack or for not accepting his Proposal without enquiring into
his Person or Character on the contrary he must think her the weakest of all
Creatures as the Rate of Men now goes In short he must have a very
contemptible Opinion of her Capacities that having but one Cast for her Life
shall cast that Life away at once and make Matrimony like Death be a Leap in
the Dark
I would fain have the Conduct of my Sex a little regulated in this
Particular which is the same thing in which of all the Parts of Life I think
at this time we suffer most in Tis nothing but lack of Courage the fear of
not being married at all and of that frightful State of Life calld an old
Maid This I say is the Womans Snare but would the Ladies once but get above
that Fear and manage rightly they would more certainly avoid it by standing
their Ground in a Case so absolutely necessary to their Felicity than by
exposing themselves as they do and if they did not marry so soon they would
make themselves amends by marrying safer she is always married too soon who
gets a bad Husband and she is never married too late who gets a good one In a
Word there is no Woman Deformity or lost Reputation excepted but if she
manages well may be married safely one time or other but if she precipitates
herself it is ten Thousand to one but she is undone
But I come now to my own Case in which there was at this time no little
Nicety The Circumstances I was in made the Offer of a good Husband the most
necessary thing in the World to me but I found soon that to be made Cheap and
Easy was not the way It soon began to be found that the Widow had no Fortune
and to say this was to say all that was Ill of me Being well Bred Handsome
Witty Modest and Agreeable all which I had allowd to my Character whether
justly or no is not to the Purpose I say all these would not do without the
Dross In short the Widow they said had no Money
I resolvd therefore that it was necessary to change my Station and make a
new Appearance in some other Place and even to pass by another Name if I found
Occasion
I communicated my Thoughts to my Intimate Friend the Captains Lady who I
had so faithfully served in her Case with the Captain and who was as ready to
serve me in the same kind as I could desire I made no scruple to lay my
Circumstances open to her my Stock was but low for I had made but about 540l
at the Close of my last Affair and I had wasted some of that However I had
about 460l left a great many very rich Cloaths a Gold Watch and some Jewels
tho of no extraordinary Value and about 30l or 40l left in Linnen not
disposd of
My Dear and Faithful Friend the Captains Wife was so sensible of the
Service I had done her in the Affair above that she was not only a steddy
Friend to me but knowing my Circumstances she frequently made me Presents as
Money came into her Hands such as fully amounted to a Maintainance so that I
spent none of my own and at last she made this unhappy Proposal to me viz
that as we had observd as above how the Men made no scruple to set themselves
out as Persons meriting a Woman of Fortune of their own it was but just to deal
with them in their own way and if it was possible to deceive the Deceiver
The Captains Lady in short put this Project into my Head and told me if
I would be ruld by her I should certainly get a Husband of Fortune without
leaving him any room to Reproach me with want of my own I told her that I would
give up my self wholly to her Directions and that I would have neither Tongue
to speak or Feet to step in that Affair but as she should direct me depending
that she would Extricate me out of every Difficulty that she brought me into
which she said she would answer for
The first Step she put me upon was to call her Cousin and go to a
Relations House of hers in the Country where she directed me and where she
brought her Husband to visit me and calling me Cousin she workd Matters so
about that her Husband and she together invited me most passionately to come to
Town and live with them for they now livd in a quite different Place from
where they were before In the next Place she tells her Husband that I had at
least 1500l Fortune and that I was like to have a great deal more
It was enough to tell her Husband this there needed nothing on my Side I
was but to sit still and wait the Event for it presently went all over the
Neighbourhood that the young Widow at Captains was a Fortune that she had at
least 1500l and perhaps a great deal more and that the Captain said so and
if the Captain was askd at any time about me he made no scruple to affirm it
tho he knew not one Word of the Matter other than that his Wife had told him
so and in this he thought no Harm for he really believd it to be so With the
Reputation of this Fortune I presently found my self blessd with Admirers
enough and that I had my Choice of Men as they said they were which by the
way confirms what I was saying before This being my Case I who had a subtil
Game to Play had nothing now to do but to single out from them all the
properest Man that might be for my Purpose that is to say the Man who was most
likely to depend upon the hear say of Fortune and not enquire too far into the
Particulars and unless I did this I did nothing for my Case would not bear
much Enquiry
I pickd out my Man without much Difficulty by the Judgment I made of his
way of courting me I had let him run on with his Protestations that he lovd me
above all the World that if I would make him happy that was enough all which
I knew was upon Supposition that I was very Rich tho I never told him a Word
of it my self
This was my Man but I was to try him to the Bottom and indeed in that
consisted my Safety for if he baulked I knew I was undone as surely as he was
undone if he took me and if I did not make some scruple about his Fortune it
was the way to lead him to raise some about mine and first therefore I
pretended on all Occasions to doubt his Sincerity and told him perhaps he only
courted me for my Fortune he stopd my Mouth in that Part with the Thunder of
his Protestations as above but still I pretended to doubt
One morning he pulls off his Diamond Ring and writes upon the Glass of the
Sash in my Chamber this Line
You I love and you alone
I read it and askd him to lend me the Ring with which I wrote under it thus
And so in Love says every one
He takes his Ring again and writes another Line thus
Virtue alone is an Estate
I borrowed it again and I wrote under it
But Moneys Virtue Gold is Fate
He colourd as red as Fire to see me turn so quick upon him and in a kind of
Rage told me he would Conquer me and wrote again thus
I scorn your Gold and yet I Love
I venturd all upon the last cast of Poetry as youll see for I wrote boldly
under his last
Im Poor Lets see how kind youll prove
This was a sad Truth to me whether he believd me or no I could not tell I
supposed then that he did not However he flew to me took me in his Arms and
kissing me very eagerly and with the greatest Passion imaginable he held me
fast till he calld for a Pen and Ink and told me he could not wait the
tedious writing on a Glass but pulling out a piece of Paper he began and wrote
again
Be mine with all your Poverty
I took his Pen and followd immediately thus
Yet secretly you hope I Lye
He told me that was unkind because it was not just and that I put him upon
contradicting me which did not consist with good Manners and therefore since I
had insensibly drawn him into this Poetical scribble he begd I would not
oblige him to break it off so he writes again
Let Love alone be our Debate
I wrote again
She loves enough that does not hate
This he took for a favour and so laid down the Cudgels that is to say the
Pen I say he took it for a Favour and a mighty one it was if he had known
all However he took it as I meant it that is to let him think I was inclind
to go on with him as indeed I had Reason to do for he was the best humourd
merry sort of a Fellow that I ever met with and I often reflected how doubly
criminal it was to deceive such a Man but that Necessity which pressd me to a
Settlement suitable to my Condition was my Authority for it and certainly his
Affection to me and the Goodness of his Temper however they might argue
against using him ill yet they strongly argued to me that he would better take
the Disappointment than some fiery temperd Wretch who might have nothing to
recommend him but those Passions which would serve only to make a Woman
miserable
Besides though I had jested with him as he supposd it so often about my
Poverty yet when he found it to be true he had fore closed all manner of
Objection seeing whether he was in jest or in earnest he had declard he took
me without any Regard to my Portion and whether I was in jest or in earnest I
had declard my self to be very Poor so that in a Word I had him fast both
ways and tho he might say afterwards he was cheated yet he could never say
that I had cheated him
He pursued me close after this and as I saw there was no need to fear
losing him I playd the indifferent Part with him longer than Prudence might
otherwise have dictated to me But I considerd how much this Caution and
Indifference would give me the Advantage over him when I should come to own my
Circumstances to him and I managed it the more warily because I found he
inferd from thence that I had either the more Money or the more Judgment and
would not venture at all
I took the freedom one Day to tell him that it was true I had receivd the
Compliment of a Lover from him namely that he would take me without enquiring
into my Fortune and I would make him a suitable Return in this viz that I
would make as little enquiry into his as consisted with Reason but I hoped he
would allow me to ask some Questions which he should answer or not as he
thought fit one of these Questions related to our manner of Living and the
Place where because I had heard he had a great Plantation in Virginia and I
told him I did not care to be Transported
He began from this Discourse to let me Voluntarily into all his Affairs and
to tell me in a frank open way all his Circumstances by which I found he was
very well to pass in the World but that great part of his Estate consisted of
three Plantations which he had in Virginia which brought him in a very good
Income of about 300l a year but that if he was to live upon them would bring
him in four times as much very well thought I you shall carry me thither then
as soon as you please tho I wont tell you so before hand
I jested with him about the Figure he would make in Virginia but found he
would do any thing I desired so I turnd my Tale I told him I had good Reason
not to desire to go there to live because if his Plantations were worth so much
there I had not a Fortune suitable to a Gentleman of 1200l a Year as he said
his Estate would be
He replyd he did not ask what my Fortune was he had told me from the
beginning he would not and he would be as good as his Word but whatever it
was he assured me he would never desire me to go to Virginia with him or go
thither himself without me unless I made it my Choice
All this you may be sure was as I wishd and indeed nothing could have
happend more perfectly agreeable I carried it on as far as this with a sort of
Indifferency that he often wonderd at and I mention it the rather to intimate
again to the Ladies that nothing but want of Courage for such an Indifferency
makes our Sex so cheap and prepares them to be ill usd as they are would they
venture the Loss of a pretending Fop now and then who carries it high upon the
point of his own Merit they would certainly be slighted less and courted more
had I discovered really what my great Fortune was and that in all I had not
full 500l when he expected 1500 yet I hookd him so fast and playd him so
long that I was satisfied he would have had me in my worst Circumstances and
indeed it was less a Surprize to him when he learnt the Truth than it would
have been because having not the least Blame to lay on me who had carried it
with an Air of Indifference to the last he could not say one Word except that
indeed he thought it had been more but that if it had been less he did not
repent his Bargain only that he should not be able to maintain me so well as he
intended
In short we were married and very happily married on my side I assure
you as to the Man for he was the best humourd Man that ever Woman had but
his Circumstances were not so good as I imagined as on the other hand he had
not betterd himself so much as he expected
When we were married I was shrewdly put to it to bring him that little
Stock I had and to let him see it was no more but there was a Necessity for
it so I took my Opportunity one Day when we were alone to enter in to a short
Dialogue with him about it My Dear said I we have been married a Fortnight
is it not time to let you know whether you have got a Wife with something or
with nothing Your own time for that my Dear says he I am satisfied I have
got the Wife I love I have not troubled you much says he with my Enquiry
after it
Thats true said I but I have a great Difficulty about it which I scarce
know how to manage Whats that my Dear says he Why says I tis a little
hard upon me and tis harder upon you I am told that Captain meaning my
Friends Husband has told you I had a great deal more than ever I pretended to
have and I am sure I never employd him so to do
Well says he Captain may have told me so but what then if you have not
so much that may lye at his Door but you never told me what you had so I have
no Reason to blame you if you have nothing at all
That is so just said I and so generous that it makes my having but a
little a double Affliction to me
The less you have my Dear says he the worse for us both but I hope your
Affliction is not causd for fear I should be unkind to you for want of a
Portion No no if you have nothing tell me plainly I may perhaps tell the
Captain he has cheated me but I can never say you have for did not you give it
under your Hand that you was Poor and so I ought to expect you to be
Well said I my Dear I am glad I have not been concernd in deceiving you
before Marriage if I deceive you since tis neer the worse that I am Poor
tis too true but not so Poor as to have nothing neither so I pulld out some
Bank Bills and gave him about a Hundred and Sixty Pounds there is something my
Dear says I and not quite all neither
I had brought him so near to expecting nothing by what I had said before
that the Money tho the Sum was small in it self was doubly welcome he ownd
it was more than he lookd for and that he did not question by my Discourse to
him but that my fine Cloaths Gold Watch and a Diamond Ring or two had been
all my Fortune
I let him please himself with that 160l two or three Days and then having
been abroad that Day and as if I had been to fetch it I brought him a Hundred
Pounds more home in Gold and told him there was a little more Portion for him
and in Short in about a Week more I brought him 180l more and about 60l in
Linnen which I made him believe I had been obliged to take with the 100l which
I gave him in Gold as a Composition for a Debt of 600l being little more than
five Shillings in the Pound and overvalued too
And now my Dear says I to him I am very sorry to tell you that I have
given you my whole Fortune I added that if the Person who had my 600l had not
abusd me I had been worth a Thousand Pound to him but that as it was I had
been faithful and reservd nothing to my self but if it had been more he
should have had it
He was so obliged by the Manner and so pleasd with the Sum for he had
been in a terrible Fright least it had been nothing at all that he accepted it
very thankfully And thus I got over the Fraud of passing for a Fortune without
Money and cheating a Man into Marrying me on pretence of it which by the way
I take to be one of the most dangerous Steps a Woman can take and in which she
runs the most hazzards of being ill used afterwards
My Husband to give him his due was a Man of infinite good Nature but he
was no Fool and finding his Income not suited to the manner of Living which he
had intended if I had brought him what he expected and being under a
Disappointment in his return of his Plantations in Virginia he discovered many
times his Inclination of going over to Virginia to live upon his own and often
would be magnifying the way of living there how Cheap how Plentiful how
Pleasant and the like
I began presently to understand his meaning and I took him up very plainly
one Morning and told him that I did so that I found his Estate turnd to no
Account at this Distance compard to what it would do if he livd upon the
Spot and that I found he had a mind to go and live there that I was sensible
he had been disappointed in a Wife and that finding his Expectations not
answerd that way I could do no less to make him amends than tell him that I
was very willing to go to Virginia with him and live there
He said a Thousand kind things to me upon the Subject of my making such a
Proposal to him He told me that tho he was disappointed in his Expectations of
a Fortune he was not disappointed in a Wife and that I was all to him that a
Wife could be but that this Offer was so kind that it was more than he could
express
To bring the Story short we agreed to go he told me that he had a very
good House there well furnishd that his Mother livd in it and one Sister
which was all the Relations he had that as soon as he came there they would
remove to another House which was her own for Life and his after her Decease
so that I should have all the House to my self and I found it all exactly as he
said
We put on board the Ship which we went in a large quantity of good
Furniture for our House with Stores of Linnen and other Necessaries and a good
Cargoe for Sale and away we went
To give an Account of the manner of our Voyage which was long and full of
Dangers is out of my way I kept no Journal neither did my Husband all that I
can say is that after a terrible Passage frighted twice with dreadful Storms
and once with what was still more terrible I mean a Pyrate who came on board
and took away almost all our Provisions and which would have been beyond all
to me they had once taken my Husband but by Intreaties were prevaild with to
leave him I say after all these terrible Things we arrivd in York River in
Virginia and coming to our Plantation we were received with all the Tenderness
and Affection by my Husbands Mother that could be expressd
We livd here all together my Motherinlaw at my Entreaty continuing in
the House for she was too kind a Mother to be parted with my Husband likewise
continued the same at first and I thought my self the happiest Creature alive
when an odd and surprizing Event put an end to all that Felicity in a Moment
and rendred my Condition the most uncomfortable in the World
My Mother was a mighty chearful good humourd old Woman I may call her so
for her Son was above Thirty I say she was very pleasant good Company and
usd to entertain me in Particular with abundance of Stories to divert me as
well of the Country we were in as of the People
Among the rest she often told me how the greatest part of the Inhabitants
of that Colony came thither in very indifferent Circumstances from England
that generally speaking they were of two Sorts either 1 such as were
brought over by Masters of Ships to be sold as Servants or 2 such as are
Transported after having been found guilty of Crimes punishable with Death
When they come here says she we make no difference the Planters buy them
and they work together in the Field till their time is out when tis expird
said she they have Encouragement given them to Plant for themselves for they
have a certain Number of Acres of Land allotted them by the Country and they go
to work to clear and cure the Land and then to Plant it with Tobacco and Corn
for their own Use and as the Merchants will trust them with Tools and
Necessaries upon the Credit of their Crop before it is grown so they again
Plant every Year a little more than the Year before and so buy whatever they
want with the Crop that is before them Hence Child says she many a
NewgateBird becomes a great Man and we have continued she several Justices
of the Peace Officers of the traind Bands and Magistrates of the Towns they
live in that have been burnt in the Hand
She was going on with that part of the Story when her own part in it
interrupted her and with a great deal of good humourd Confidence she told me
she was one of the second sort of Inhabitants herself that she came away
openly having ventured too far in a Particular Case so that she was become a
Criminal and heres the Mark of it Child says she and shewed me a very fine
white Arm and Hand but branded in the inside of the Hand as in such Cases it
must be
This Story was very moving to me but my Mother smiling said you need not
think such a thing strange Daughter for some of the best Men in the Country
are burnt in the Hand and they are not ashamd to own it theres Major says
she he was an Eminent Pick pocket theres Justice Bar was a Shoplifter and
both of them were burnt in the Hand and I could name you several such as they
are
We had frequent Discourses of this kind and abundance of Instances she gave
me of the like after some time as she was telling some Stories of one that was
Transported but a few Weeks ago I began in an intimate kind of way to ask her
to tell me something of her own Story which she did with the utmost Plainness
and Sincerity how she had fallen into very ill Company in London in her young
Days occasiond by her Mother sending her frequently to carry Victuals to a
Kinswoman of hers who was a Prisoner in Newgate in a miserable starving
Condition who was afterwards Condemnd to dye but having got Respite by
pleading her Belly perishd afterwards in the Prison
Here my MotherinLaw ran out in a long account of the wicked Practices in
that dreadful Place and child says my Mother perhaps you may know little of
it or it may be have heard nothing about it but depend upon it says she we
all know here that there are more Thieves and Rogues made by that one Prison of
Newgate than by all the Clubs and Societies of Villains in the Nation tis
that cursed Place says my Mother that half Peoples this Colony
Here she went on with her own Story so long and in so Particular a Manner
that I began to be very uneasy but coming to one Particular that requird
telling her Name I thought I should have sunk down in the Place she perceivd
I was out of order and askd me if I was not well and what aild me I told
her I was so affected with the melancholly Story she had told that it had
overcome me and I begd of her to talk no more of it Why my Dear says she
very kindly what need these things trouble you These Passages were long before
your time and they give me no Trouble at all now nay I look back on them with
a Particular Satisfaction as they have been a Means to bring me to this Place
Then she went on to tell me how she fell into a good Family where behaving
herself well and her Mistress dying her Master married her by whom she had my
Husband and his Sister and that by her Diligence and good Management after her
Husbands Death she had improved the Plantations to such a degree as they then
were so that most of the Estate was of her getting not of her Husbands for
she had been a Widow upwards of Sixteen Years
I heard this part of the Story with very little Attention because I wanted
much to retire and give vent to my Passions and let any one judge what must be
the Anguish of my Mind when I came to reflect that this was certainly no more
or less than my own Mother and that I had now had two Children and was big
with another by my own Brother and lay with him still every Night
I was now the most unhappy of all Women in the World O had the Story never
been told me all had been well it had been no Crime to have lain with my
Husband if I had known nothing of it
I had now such a Load on my Mind that it kept me perpetually waking to
reveal it I could not find would be to any Purpose and yet to conceal it would
be next to impossible nay I did not doubt but I should talk in my Sleep and
tell my Husband of it whether I would or no If I discoverd it the least thing
I could expect was to lose my Husband for he was too nice and too honest a Man
to have continud my Husband after he had known I had been his Sister so that I
was perplexd to the last Degree
I leave it to any Man to judge what Difficulties presented to my View I was
away from my Native Country at a Distance prodigious and the return to me
unpassable I livd very well but in a Circumstance unsufferable in itself if
I had discoverd my self to my Mother it might be difficult to convince her of
the Particulars and I had no way to prove them On the other hand if she had
questioned or doubted me I had been undone for the bare Suggestion would have
immediately separated me from my Husband without gaining my Mother or him so
that between the Surprize on one hand and the Uncertainty on the other I had
been sure to be undone
In the mean time as I was but too sure of the Fact I livd therefore in
open avowed Incest and Whoredom and all under the appearance of an honest Wife
and tho I was not much touched with the Crime of it yet the Action had
something in it shocking to Nature and made my Husband even nauseous to me
However upon the most sedate Consideration I resolvd that it was absolutely
necessary to conceal it all and not make the least Discovery of it either to
Mother or Husband and thus I livd with the greatest Pressure imaginable for
three Years more
During this time my Mother used to be frequently telling me old Stories of
her former Adventures which however were no ways pleasant to me for by it
tho she did not tell it me in plain Terms yet I could understand joynd with
what I heard my self of my first Tutors that in her younger Days she had been
Whore and Thief but I verily believe she had livd to repent sincerely of both
and that she was then a very Pious Sober and Religious Woman
Well let her Life have been what it would then it was certain that my Life
was very uneasy to me for I livd as I have said but in the worst sort of
Whoredom and as I could expect no good of it so really no good Issue came of
it and all my seeming Prosperity wore off and ended in Misery and Destruction
It was some time indeed before it came to this for every thing went wrong with
us afterwards and that which was worse my Husband grew strangely alterd
froward jealous and unkind and I was as impatient of bearing his Carriage as
the Carriage was unreasonable and unjust These things proceeded so far and we
came at last to be in such ill Terms with one another that I claimd a Promise
of him which he enterd willingly into with me when I consented to come from
England with him viz that if I did not like to live there I should come away
to England again when I pleasd giving him a Years warning to settle his
Affairs
I say I now claimd this Promise of him and I must confess I did it not in
the most obliging Terms that could be neither but I insisted that he treated me
ill that I was remote from my Friends and could do my self no Justice and
that he was Jealous without Cause my Conversation having been unblameable and
he having no Pretence for it and that to remove to England would take away all
Occasion from him
I insisted so peremptorily upon it that he could not avoid coming to a
Point either to keep his Word with me or to break it and this
notwithstanding he used all the Skill he was Master of and employd his Mother
and other Agents to prevail with me to alter my Resolutions indeed the bottom
of the thing lay at my Heart and that made all his Endeavours fruitless for my
Heart was alienated from him I loathed the Thoughts of Bedding with him and
used a Thousand Pretences of Illness and Humour to prevent his touching me
fearing nothing more than to be with Child again which to be sure would have
prevented or at least delayd my going over to England
However at last I put him so out of Humour that he took up a rash and fatal
Resolution that in short I should not go to England that tho he had promisd
me yet it was an unreasonable thing that it would be ruinous to his Affairs
would unhinge his whole Family and be next to an Undoing him in the World that
therefore I ought not to desire it of him and that no Wife in the World that
valued her Family and her Husbands Prosperity would insist upon such a thing
This plungd me again for when I considered the thing calmly and took my
Husband as he really was a diligent careful Man in the main and that he knew
nothing of the dreadful Circumstances that he was in I could not but confess to
my self that my Proposal was very unreasonable and what no Wife that had the
good of her Family at Heart woud have desird
But my Discontents were of another Nature I lookd upon him no longer as a
Husband but as a near Relation the Son of my own Mother and I resolvd some
how or other to be clear of him but which way I did not know
It is said by the illnaturd World of our Sex that if we are set on a
thing it is impossible to turn us from our Resolutions In short I never
ceasd poring upon the Means to bring to pass my Voyage and came that length
with my Husband at last as to propose going without him This provokd him to
the last degree and he calld me not only an unkind Wife but an unnatural
Mother and askd me how I could entertain such a Thought without Horror as
that of leaving my two Children for one was dead without a Mother and never
to see them more It was true had things been right I should not have done it
but now it was my real desire never to see them or him either any more and as
to the Charge of unnatural I could easily answer it to my self while I knew
that the whole Relation was unnatural in the highest degree
However there was no bringing my Husband to any thing he would neither go
with me or let me go without him and it was out of my Power to stir without
his Consent as any one that is acquainted with the Constitution of that Country
knows very well
We had many Family Quarrels about it and they began to grow up to a
dangerous Height for as I was quite estrangd from him in Affection so I took
no heed to my Words but sometimes gave him Language that was provoking In
short I strove all I could to bring him to a parting with me which was what
above all things I desird most
He took my Carriage very ill and indeed he might well do so for at last I
refusd to Bed with him and carrying on the Breach upon all occasions to
extremity he told me once he thought I was Mad and if I did not alter my
Conduct he would put me under Cure that is to say into a Madhouse I told
him he should find I was far enough from Mad and that it was not in his power
or any other Villains to Murther me I confess at the same time I was heartily
frighted at his Thoughts of putting me into Madhouse which would at once have
destroyd all the possibility of bringing the Truth out for that then no one
would have given Credit to a word of it
This therefore brought me to a Resolution whatever came of it to lay open
my whole Case but which way to do it or to whom was an inextricable
Difficulty when another Quarrel with my Husband happend which came up to such
an Extream as almost pushd me on to tell it him all to his Face but tho I
kept it in so as not to come to the particulars I spoke so much as put him into
the utmost Confusion and in the End brought out the whole Story
He began with a calm Expostulation upon my being so resolute to go to
England I defended it and one hard Word bringing on another as is usual in
all Family Strife he told me I did not treat him as if he was my Husband or
talk of my Children as if I was a Mother and in short that I did not deserve
to be usd as a Wife That he had usd all the fair Means possible with me that
he had argud with all the kindness and calmness that a Husband or a Christian
ought to do and that I made him such a vile return that I treated him rather
like a Dog than a Man and rather like the most contemptible Stranger than a
Husband That he was very loth to use Violence with me but that in short he
saw a Necessity of it now and that for the future he should be obligd to take
such Measures as should reduce me to my Duty
My Blood was now fird to the utmost and nothing could appear more
provokd I told him for his fair means and his foul they were equally
contemnd by me that for my going to England I was resolvd on it come what
would and that as to treating him not like a Husband and not showing my self a
Mother to my Children there might be something more in it than he understood at
present but I thought fit to tell him thus much that he neither was my lawful
Husband nor they lawful Children and that I had reason to regard neither of
them more than I did
I Confess I was movd to pity him when I spoke it for he turnd pale as
Death and stood mute as one Thunderstruck and once or twice I thought he
would have fainted in short it put him in a Fit something like an Apoplex he
trembld a Sweat or Dew ran off his Face and yet he was cold as a Clod so
that I was forced to fetch something to keep Life in him when he recoverd of
that he grew sick and vomited and in a little after was put to Bed and the
next Morning was in a violent Fever
However it went off again and he recovered tho but slowly and when he
came to be a little better he told me I had given him a mortal Wound with my
Tongue and he had only one thing to ask before he desird an Explanation I
interrupted him and told him I was sorry I had gone so far since I saw what
disorder it put him into but I desird him not to talk to me of Explanations
for that would but make things worse
This heightend his Impatience and indeed perplexd him beyond all bearing
for now he began to suspect that there was some Mystery yet unfolded but could
not make the least guess at it all that run in his Brain was that I had
another Husband alive but I assurd him there was not the least of that in it
indeed as to my other Husband he was effectually dead to me and had told me I
should look on him as such so I had not the least uneasiness on that score
But now I found the thing too far gone to conceal it much longer and my
Husband himself gave me an Opportunity to ease my self of the Secret much to my
Satisfaction he had laboured with me three or four Weeks but to no purpose
only to tell him whether I had spoken those Words only to put him in a Passion
or whether there was any thing of Truth in the bottom of them But I continued
inflexible and would explain nothing unless he would first consent to my going
to England which he would never do he said while he livd on the other hand
I said it was in my power to make him willing when I pleasd NAY to make him
entreat me to go and this increasd his Curiosity and made him importunate to
the highest Degree
At length he tells all this Story to his Mother and sets her upon me to get
it out of me and she usd her utmost Skill indeed but I put her to a full stop
at once by telling her that the Mystery of the whole Matter lay in herself
that it was my Respect to her had made me conceal it and that in short I
could go no farther and therefore conjurd her not to insist upon it
She was struck dumb at this Suggestion and could not tell what to say or to
think but laying aside the Supposition as a Policy of mine continued her
Importunity on account of her Son and if possible to make up the Breach
between us two as to that I told her that it was indeed a good Design in her
but that it was impossible to be done and that if I should reveal to her the
Truth of what she desird she would grant it to be impossible and cease to
desire it At last I seemd to be prevaild on by her Importunity and told her
I dare trust her with a Secret of the greatest Importance and she would soon
see that this was so and that I would consent to lodge it in her Breast if she
would engage solemnly not to acquaint her Son with it without my Consent
She was long in promising this Part but rather than not come at the main
Secret she agreed to that too and after a great many other Preliminaries I
began and told her the whole Story First I told her how much she was concernd
in all the unhappy Breach which had happend between her Son and me by telling
me her own Story and her London Name and that the Surprize she see I was in
was upon that Occasion Then I told her my own Story and my Name and assurd
her by such other Tokens as she could not deny that I was no other nor more
or less than her own Child her Daughter born of her Body in Newgate the same
that had savd her from the Gallows by being in her Belly and that she left in
such and such Hands when she was Transported
It is impossible to express the Astonishment she was in she was not
inclind to believe the Story or to remember the Particulars for she
immediately foresaw the Confusion that must follow in the Family upon it but
every thing concurrd so exactly with the Stories she had told me of herself
and which if she had not told me she would perhaps have been content to have
denied that she had stopd her own Mouth and she had nothing to do but take me
about the Neck and kiss me and cry most vehemently over me without speaking
one word for a long time together at last she broke out Unhappy Child says
she What miserable Chance could bring thee hither and in the Arms of my Son
too Dreadful girl says she why we are all undone Married to thy own Brother
Three Children and two alive all of the same Flesh and Blood My Son and my
Daughter lying together as Husband and Wife All Confusion and Distraction
miserable Family What will become of us What is to be said What is to be
done And thus she run on a great while nor had I any Power to speak or if I
had did I know what to say for every Word wounded me to the Soul With this
kind of Amazement we parted for the first time tho my Mother was more
surprizd than I was because it was more News to her than to me However she
promisd again that she would say nothing of it to her Son till we had talkd
of it again
It was not long you may be sure before we had a second Conference upon the
same Subject when as if she had been willing to forget the Story she had told
me of herself or to suppose that I had forgot some of the Particulars she
began to tell them with Alterations and Omissions but I refreshd her Memory
in many things which I supposed she had forgot and then came in so opportunely
with the whole History that it was impossible for her to go from it and then
she fell into her Rhapsodies again and Exclamations at the Severity of her
Misfortunes When these things were a little over with her we fell into a close
Debate about what should be first done before we gave an account of the matter
to my Husband But to what purpose could be all our Consultations we could
neither of us see our way thro it or how it could be safe to open such a Scene
to him it was impossible to make any judgment or give any guess at what Temper
he would receive it in or what Measures he would take upon it and if he should
have so little Government of himself as to make it publick we easily foresaw
that it would be the ruin of the whole Family and if at last he should take the
Advantage the Law would give him he might put me away with Disdain and leave
me to sue for the little Portion that I had and perhaps waste it all in the
Suit and then be a Beggar and thus I should see him perhaps in the Arms of
another Wife in a few Months and be my self the most miserable Creature alive
My Mother was as sensible of this as I and upon the whole we knew not what
to do after some time we came to more sober Resolutions but then it was with
this Misfortune too that my Mothers Opinion and mine were quite different from
one another, and indeed inconsistent with one another for my Mothers Opinion
was that I should bury the whole thing entirely and continue to live with him
as my Husband till some other Event should make the Discovery of it more
convenient and that in the mean time she would endeavour to reconcile us
together again and restore our mutual Comfort and Family Peace that we might
lie as we usd to do together and so let the whole matter remain a Secret as
close as Death for Child says she we are both undone if it comes out
To encourage me to this she promisd to make me easy in my Circumstances
and to leave me what she could at her Death securd for me separately from my
Husband so that if it should come out afterwards I should be able to stand on
my own Feet and procure Justice too from him
This Proposal did not agree with my Judgment tho it was very fair and kind
in my Mother but my Thoughts run quite another way
As to keeping the thing in our own Breasts and letting it all remain as it
was I told her it was impossible and I askd her how she could think I could
bear the Thoughts of lying with my own Brother In the next place I told her
that her being alive was the only support of the Discovery and that while she
ownd me for her Child and saw reason to be satisfied that I was so no body
else would doubt it but that if she should die before the Discovery I should
be taken for an impudent Creature that had forgd such a thing to go away from
my Husband or should be counted Crazd and Distracted Then I told her how he
had threatend already to put me into a Madhouse and what Concern I had been
in about it and how that was the thing that drove me to the Necessity of
discovering it to her as I had done
From all which I told her that I had on the most serious Reflections I was
able to make in the Case, come to this Resolution which I hopd she would like
as a Medium between both viz That she should use her endeavours with her Son
to give me leave to go for England as I had desired and to furnish me with a
sufficient Sum of Money either in Goods along with me or in Bills for my
Support there all along suggesting that he might one time or other think it
proper to come over to me
That when I was gone she should then in cold Blood discover the Case to him
gradually and as her own Discretion should guide so that he might not be
surprizd with it and fly out into any Passions and Excesses and that she
should concern herself to prevent his slighting the Children or marrying again
unless he had a certain account of my being Dead
This was my Scheme and my Reasons were good I was really alienated from
him in the Consequence of these Things indeed I mortally hated him as a
Husband and it was impossible to remove that riveted Aversion I had to him at
the same time it being an unlawful incestuous Living added to that Aversion
and every thing added to make Cohabiting with him the most nauseous thing to me
in the World and I think verily it was come to such a height that I could
almost as willingly have embracd a Dog as have let him offer any thing of that
kind to me for which Reason I could not bear the Thoughts of coming between the
Sheets with him I cannot say that I was right in carrying it such a length
while at the same time I did not resolve to discover the thing to him but I am
giving an account of what was not of what ought or ought not to be
In this directly opposite Opinion to one another my Mother and I continued a
long time and it was impossible to reconcile our Judgments many Disputes we
had about it but we could never either of us yield our own or bring over the
other
I insisted on my Aversion to lying with my own Brother and she insisted
upon its being impossible to bring him to consent to my going to England and in
this uncertainty we continued not differing so as to quarrel or any thing like
it but so as not to be able to resolve what we should do to make up that
terrible Breach
At last I resolvd on a desperate Course and told my Mother my Resolution
viz That in short I woud tell him of it my self my Mother was frighted to
the last degree at the very Thoughts of it but I bid her be easy told her I
would do it gradually and softly and with all the Art and good Humour I was
Mistress of and time it also as well as I could taking him in good Humour too
I told her I did not question but if I coud be Hypocrite enough to feign more
Affection to him than I really had I should succeed in all my Design and we
might part by Consent and with a good Agreement for I might love him well
enough for a Brother tho I could not for a Husband
All this while he lay at my Mother to find out if possible what was the
meaning of that dreadful Expression of mine as he calld it which I mentiond
before namely That I was not his lawful Wife nor my Children his legal
Children my Mother put him off told him she could bring me to no Explanations
but found there was something that disturbd me very much and she hopd she
should get it out of me in time and in the mean time recommended to him
earnestly to use me more tenderly and win me with his usual good Carriage told
him of his terrifying and affrighting me with his Threats of sending me to a
Madhouse and the like and advisd him not to make a Woman Desperate on any
account whatever
He promisd her to soften his Behaviour and bid her assure me that he lovd
me as well as ever and that he had no such design as that of sending me to a
Madhouse whatever he might say in his Passion also he desird my Mother to
use the same Perswasions to me too and we might live together as we usd to do
I found the Effects of this Treaty presently my Husbands Conduct was
immediately alterd and he was quite another Man to me nothing could be kinder
and more obliging than he was to me upon all Occasions and I could do no less
than make some return to it which I did as well as I could but it was but in
an awkward manner at best for nothing was more frightful to me than his
Caresses and the Apprehensions of being with Child again by him was ready to
throw me into Fits and this made me see that there was an absolute necessity of
breaking the Case to him without any more delay which however I did with all
the Caution and Reserve imaginable
He had continued his alterd Carriage to me near a Month and we began to
live a new kind of Life with one another and could I have satisfied my self to
have gone on with it I believe it might have continued as long as we had
continud alive together One Evening as we were sitting and talking together
under a little Awning which servd as an Arbour at the Entrance into the
Garden he was in a very pleasant agreeable Humour and said abundance of kind
things to me relating to the Pleasure of our present good Agreement and the
Disorders of our past Breach and what a Satisfaction it was to him that we had
room to hope we should never have any more of it
I fetchd a deep Sigh and told him there was no Body in the World could be
more delighted than I was in the good Agreement we had always kept up or more
afflicted with the Breach of it but I was sorry to tell him that there was an
unhappy Circumstance in our Case which lay too close to my Heart and which I
knew not how to break to him that rendred my part of it very miserable and
took from me all the Comfort of the rest
He importund me to tell him what it was I told him I could not tell how to
do it that while it was conceald from him I alone was unhappy but if he knew
it also we should be both so and that therefore to keep him in the dark about
it was the kindest thing that I could do and it was on that account alone that
I kept a Secret from him the very keeping of which I thought would first or
last be my Destruction
It is impossible to express his Surprize at this Relation and the double
importunity which he used with me to discover it to him He told me I could not
be calld kind to him nay I could not be faithful to him if I conceald it
from him I told him I thought so too and yet I could not do it He went back
to what I had said before to him and told me he hoped it did not relate to what
I said in my Passion and that he had resolvd to forget all that as the Effect
of a rash provokd Spirit I told him I wishd I could forget it all too but
that it was not to be done the Impression was too deep and it was impossible
He then told me he was resolvd not to differ with me in any thing and that
therefore he would importune me no more about it resolving to acquiesce in
whatever I did or said only beggd I would then agree that whatever it was it
should no more interrupt our Quiet and our mutual Kindness
This was the most provoking thing he could have said to me for I really
wanted his farther importunities that I might be prevaild with to bring out
that which indeed was like Death to me to conceal so I answerd him plainly
that I could not say I was glad not to be importuned tho I could not tell how
to comply but come my Dear said I what Conditions will you make with me upon
the opening this Affair to you
Any Conditions in the World said he that you can in reason desire of me
well said I come give it me under your Hand that if you do not find I am in
any Fault or that I am willingly concernd in the Causes of the Misfortunes
that is to follow you will not blame me use me the worse do me any Injury or
make me be the Sufferer for that which is not my fault
That says he is the most reasonable Demand in the World not to blame you
for that which is not your fault give me a Pen and Ink says he so I ran in
and fetchd Pen Ink and Paper and he wrote the Condition down in the very
Words I had proposed it and signd it with his Name well says he what is
next my Dear Why says I the next is that you will not blame me for not
discovering the Secret to you before I knew it Very just again says he with
all my Heart so he wrote down that also and signd it
Well my Dear says I then I have but one Condition more to make with you
and that is that as there is no body concernd in it but you and I you shall
not discover it to any Person in the World except your own Mother and that in
all the Measures you shall take upon the Discovery as I am equally concernd in
it with you tho as Innocent as your self you shall do nothing in a Passion
nothing to my Prejudice or to your Mothers Prejudice without my Knowledge and
Consent
This a little amazd him and he wrote down the Words distinctly but read
them over and over before he signd them hesitating at them several times and
repeating them my Mothers Prejudice and your Prejudice What mysterious thing
can this be however at last he signd it
Well says I my Dear Ill ask you no more under your Hand but as you are
to hear the most unexpected and surprizing thing that perhaps ever befel any
Family in the World I beg you to promise me you will receive it with Composure
and a Presence of Mind suitable to a Man of Sense
Ill do my utmost says he upon Condition you will keep me no longer in
suspence for you terrify me with all these Preliminaries
Well then says I it is this as I told you before in a Heat that I was
not your lawful Wife and that our Children were not legal Children so I must
let you know now in calmness and in kindness but with Affliction enough that
I am your own Sister and you my own Brother and that we are both the Children
of our Mother now alive and in the House who is convincd of the Truth of it
in a manner not to be denied or contradicted
I saw him turn pale and look wild and I said now remember your Promise
and receive it with Presence of Mind for who coud have said more to prepare
you for it than I have done However I calld a Servant and got him a little
Glass of Rum which is the usual Dram of the Country for he was fainting away
When he was a little recoverd I said to him this Story you may be sure
requires a long Explanation and therefore have Patience and compose your Mind
to hear it out and Ill make it as short as I can and with this I told him
what I thought was needful of the Fact and particularly how my Mother came to
discover it to me as above and now my Dear says I you will see Reason for
my Capitulations and that I neither have been the Cause of this Matter nor
could be so and that I could know nothing of it before now
I am fully satisfied of that says he but tis a dreadful Surprize to me
however I know a Remedy for it all and a Remedy that shall put an End to all
your Difficulties without your going to England That would be strange said I
as all the rest No no says he Ill make it easy theres no Body in the way
of it all but my self He lookd a little disorderd when he said this but I
did not apprehend any thing from it at that time believing as it usd to be
said that they who do those things never talk of them or that they who talk of
such things never do them
But things were not come to their height with him and I observd he became
Pensive and Melancholly and in a Word as I thought a little Distemperd in his
Head I endeavourd to talk him into Temper and into a kind of Scheme for our
Government in the Affair and sometimes he would be well and talk with some
Courage about it but the Weight of it lay too heavy upon his Thoughts and went
so far that he made two Attempts upon himself and in one of them had actually
strangled himself and had not his Mother come into the Room in the very Moment
he had died but with the help of a Negro Servant she cut him down and
recoverd him
Things were now come to a lamentable height My pity for him now began to
revive that Affection which at first I really had for him and I endeavourd
sincerely by all the kind Carriage I could to make up the Breach but in
short it had gotten too great a Head it preyd upon his Spirits and it threw
him into a lingring Consumption tho it happend not to be Mortal In this
Distress I did not know what to do as his Life was apparently declining and I
might perhaps have Marryd again there very much to my Advantage had it been
my Business to have staid in the Country but my Mind was restless too I
hankerd after coming to England and nothing would satisfy me without it
In short by an unwearied importunity my Husband who was apparently
decaying as I observd was at last prevaild with and so my Fate pushing me
on the way was made clear for me and my Mother concurring I obtaind a very
good Cargo for my coming to England
When I parted with my Brother for such I am now to call him we agreed that
after I arrivd he should pretend to have an Account that I was dead in England
and so might Marry again when he woud he promisd and engagd to me to
Correspond with me as a Sister and to Assist and Support me as long as I livd
and that if he dyd before me he would leave sufficient to his Mother to take
Care of me still in the Name of a Sister and he was in some respects just to
this but it was so oddly managd that I felt the Disappointments very sensibly
afterwards as you shall hear in its time
I came away in the Month of August after I had been Eight Years in that
Country and now a new Scene of Misfortunes attended me which perhaps few Women
have gone thro the like
We had an indifferent good Voyage till we came just upon the Coast of
England and where we arrivd in two and thirty Days but were then ruffled with
two or three Storms one of which drove us away to the Coast of Ireland and we
put in at Kinsale We remaind there about thirteen Days got some Refreshment
on Shore and put to Sea again tho we met with very bad Weather again in
which the Ship sprung her Mainmast as they calld it But we got at last into
Milford Haven in Wales where tho it was remote from our Port yet having my
Foot safe upon the firm Ground of the Isle of Britain I resolvd to venture it
no more upon the Waters which had been so terrible to me so getting my Cloaths
and Money on Shore with my Bills of Loading and other Papers I resolvd to
come for London and leave the Ship to get to her Port as she could the Port
whither she was bound was to Bristol where my Brothers chief Correspondent
livd
I got to London in about three Weeks where I heard a little while after
that the Ship was arrivd at Bristol but at the same time had the Misfortune to
know that by the violent Weather she had been in and the breaking of her
Mainmast she had great Damage on Board and that a great part of her Cargoe
was spoild
I had now a new Scene of Life upon my Hands and a dreadful Appearance it
had I was come away with a kind of final Farewel what I brought with me was
indeed considerable had it come safe and by the help of it I might have
married again tollerably well but as it was I was reducd to between two or
three hundred Pounds in the whole and this without any hope of Recruit I was
entirely without Friends nay even so much as without Acquaintances for I
found it was absolutely necessary not to revive former Acquaintance and as for
my subtle Friend that set me up formerly for a Fortune she was dead and her
Husband also
The looking after my Cargoe of Goods soon after obliged me to take a Journey
to Bristol and during my Attendance upon that Affair I took the Diversion of
going to the Bath for as I was still far from being old so my Humour which
was always Gay continud so to an Extream and being now as it were a Woman
of Fortune tho I was a Woman without a Fortune I expected something or other
might happen in the way that might mend my Circumstances as had been my Case
before
The Bath is a Place of Gallantry enough Expensive and full of Snares I
went thither indeed in the View of taking what might offer but I must do my
self Justice as to protest I meant nothing but in an honest way nor had any
Thoughts about me at first that lookd the way which afterwards I suffered them
to be guided
Here I stayd the whole latter Season as it is calld there and contracted
some unhappy Acquaintance which rather prompted the Follies I fell afterwards
into than fortifyd me against them I livd pleasantly enough kept good
Company that is to say gay fine Company but had the Discouragement to find
this way of Living sunk me exceedingly and that as I had no settled Income so
spending upon the main Stock was but a certain kind of bleeding to Death and
this gave me many sad Reflections However I shook them off and still flatterd
my self that something or other might offer for my Advantage
But I was in the wrong Place for it I was not now at Redriff where if I
had set my self tollerably up some honest Sea Captain or other might have
talkd with me upon the honourable Terms of Matrimony but I was at the Bath
where Men find a Mistress sometimes but very rarely look for a Wife and
Consequently all the Particular Acquaintances a Woman can expect there must
have some Tendency that way
I had spent the first Season well enough for tho I had contracted some
Acquaintance with a Gentleman who came to the Bath for his Diversion yet I had
enterd into no felonious Treaty I had resisted some Casual Offers of
Gallantry and had managd that way well enough I was not wicked enough to come
into the Crime for the meer Vice of it and I had no extraordinary Offers that
tempted me with the main thing which I wanted
However I went this length the first Season viz I contracted an
Acquaintance with a Woman in whose House I lodgd who tho she did not keep an
ill House yet had none of the best Principles in her self I had on all
Occasions behavd my self so well as not to get the least Slur upon my
Reputation and all the Men that I had conversd with were of so good
Reputation that I had not gotten the least Reflection by conversing with them
nor did any of them seem to think there was room for a wicked Correspondence if
they had offered it yet there was one Gentleman as above who always singled
me out for the Diversion of my Company as he calld it which as he was
pleased to say was very agreeable to him but at that time there was no more in
it
I had many Melancholly Hours at the Bath after all the Company was gone for
tho I went to Bristol sometimes for the disposing my Effects and for Recruits
of Money yet I chose to come back to the Bath for my Residence because being
on good Terms with the Woman in whose House I lodgd in the Summer I found
that during the Winter I livd rather cheaper there than I could do any where
else here I say I passd the Winter as heavily as I had passd the Autumn
chearfully but having contracted a nearer Intimacy with the said Woman in
whose House I lodgd I could not avoid communicating something of what lay
hardest upon my Mind and particularly the narrowness of my Circumstances I
told her also that I had a Mother and a Brother in Virginia in good
Circumstances and as I had really written back to my Mother in particular to
represent my Condition and the great Loss I had receivd so I did not fail to
let my new Friend know that I expected a Supply from thence and so indeed I
did and as the Ships went from Bristol to YorkRiver in Virginia and back
again generally in less time than from London and that my Brother corresponded
chiefly at Bristol I thought it was much better for me to wait here for my
Returns than to go to London
My new Friend appeard sensibly affected with my Condition and indeed was
so very kind as to reduce the rate of my living with her to so low a Price
during the Winter that she convincd me she got nothing by me and as for
Lodging during the Winter I paid nothing at all
When the Spring Season came on she continud to be as kind to me as she
could and I lodgd with her for a time till it was found necessary to do
otherwise she had some Persons of Character that frequently lodgd in her
House and in particular the Gentleman who as I said singled me out for his
Companion in the Winter before and he came down again with another Gentleman in
his Company and two Servants and lodgd in the same House I suspected that my
Landlady had invited him thither letting him know that I was still with her
but she denyd it
In a Word this Gentleman came down and continud to single me out for his
peculiar Confidence he was a compleat Gentleman that must be confessd and
his Company was agreeable to me as mine if I might believe him was to him he
made no Professions to me but of an extraordinary Respect and he had such an
Opinion of my Virtue that as he often professd he believd if he should
offer any thing else I should reject him with Contempt he soon understood from
me that I was a Widow that I had arrivd at Bristol from Virginia by the last
Ships and that I waited at the Bath till the next Virginia Fleet should arrive
by which I expected considerable Effects I understood by him that he had a
Wife but that the Lady was distemperd in her Head and was under the Conduct
of her own Relations which he consented to to avoid any Reflection that might
be cast upon him for mismanaging her Cure and in the mean time he came to the
Bath to divert his Thoughts under such a melancholly Circumstance
My Landlady who of her own accord encouragd the Correspondence on all
Occasions gave me an advantageous Character of him as a Man of Honour and of
Virtue as well as of a great Estate and indeed I had Reason to say so of him
too for tho we lodgd both on a Floor and he had frequently come into my
Chamber even when I was in Bed and I also into his yet he never offered any
thing to me farther than a Kiss or so much as sollicited me to any thing till
long after as you shall hear
I frequently took Notice to my Landlady of his exceeding Modesty and she
again used to tell me she believd it was so from the Beginning however she
used to tell me that she thought I ought to expect some Gratifications from him
for my Company for indeed he did as it were engross me I told her I had not
given him the least Occasion to think I wanted it or that I would accept of it
from him She told me she would take that part upon her and she managd it so
dextrously that the first time we were together alone after she had talkd
with him he began to enquire a little into my Circumstances as how I had
subsisted my self since I came on shore and whether I did not want Money I
stood off very boldly I told him that tho my Cargoe of Tobacco was damagd
yet that it was not quite lost that the Merchant that I had been consigned to
had so honestly managed for me that I had not wanted and that I hopd with
frugal Management I should make it hold out till more would come which I
expected by the next Fleet that in the mean time I had retrenchd my Expences
and whereas I kept a Maid last Season now I livd without and whereas I had a
Chamber and a Dining Room then on the first Floor I now had but one Room two
Pair of Stairs and the like but I live said I as well satisfyd now as then
adding that his Company had made me live much more chearfully than otherwise I
should have done for which I was much obligd to him and so I put off all room
for any Offer at the present It was not long before he attackd me again and
told me he found that I was backward to trust him with the Secret of my
Circumstances which he was sorry for assuring me that he enquird into it with
no design to satisfy his own Curiosity but meerly to assist me if there was any
Occasion but since I would not own my self to stand in need of any Assistance
he had but one thing more to desire of me and that was that I would promise
him that when I was any way streightend I would frankly tell him of it and
that I would make use of him with the same Freedom that he made the Offer
adding that I should always find I had a true Friend tho perhaps I was afraid
to trust him
I omitted nothing that was fit to be said by one infinitely obligd to let
him know that I had a due Sense of his Kindness and indeed from that time I
did not appear so much reservd to him as I had done before tho still within
the Bounds of the strictest Virtue on both sides but how free soever our
Conversation was I could not arrive to that Freedom which he desird viz to
tell him I wanted Money tho I was secretly very glad of his Offer
Some Weeks passd after this and still I never askd him for Money when my
Landlady a cunning Creature who had often pressd me to it but found that I
could not do it makes a Story of her own inventing and comes in bluntly to me
when we were together O Widow says she I have bad News to tell you this
Morning What is that said I is the Virginia Ships taken by the French for
that was my Fear No no says she but the Man you sent to Bristol Yesterday
for Money is come back and says he has brought none
I could by no Means like her Project I thought it lookd too much like
prompting him which he did not want and I saw that I should lose nothing by
being backward so took her up short I cant imagine why he should say so said
I for I assure you he brought me all the Money I sent him for and here it is
said I pulling out my Purse with about 12 Guineas in it and added I intend
you shall have most of it by and by
He seemd distasted a little at her talking as she did as well as I taking
it as I fancyd he would as something forward of her but when he saw me give
such an Answer he came immediately to himself The next Morning we talkd of it
again when I found he was fully satisfied and smiling said he hopd I would
not want Money and not tell him of it and that I had promisd him otherwise I
told him I had been very much dissatisfied at my Landladys talking so publickly
the Day before of what she had nothing to do with but I supposd she wanted
what I owd her which was about Eight Guineas which I had resolvd to give
her and had given it her the same Night
He was in a mighty good Humour when he heard me say I had paid her and it
went off into some other Discourse at that time but the next Morning he having
heard me up before him he calld to me and I answerd he askd me to come
into his Chamber he was in Bed when I came in and he made me come and sit down
on his Bed side for he said he had something to say to me After some very kind
Expressions he askd me if I would be very honest to him and give a sincere
Answer to one thing he would desire of me After some little Cavil with him at
the word Sincere and asking him if I had ever given him any Answers which were
not Sincere I promisd him I would why then his Request was he said to let
him see my Purse I immediately put my Hand into my Pocket and laughing at him
pulld it out and there was in it three Guineas and a Half then he askd me
if there was all the Money I had I told him no laughing again not by a great
deal
Well then he said he would have me promise to go and fetch him all the
Money I had every Farthing I told him I would and I went into my Chamber and
fetchd him a little private Drawer where I had about six Guineas more and
some Silver and threw it all down upon the Bed and told him there was all my
Wealth honestly to a Shilling He lookd a little at it but did not tell it
and huddled it all into the Drawer again and then reaching his Pocket pulld
out a Key and bad me open a little Walnuttree Box he had upon the Table and
bring him such a Drawer which I did in this Drawer there was a great deal of
Money in Gold I believe near 200 Guineas but I knew not how much He took the
Drawer and taking me by the Hand made me put it in and take a whole Handful
I was backward at that but he held my Hand hard in his Hand and put it into
the Drawer and made me take out as many Guineas almost as I could well take up
at once
When I had done so he made me put them into my Lap and took my little
Drawer and pourd out all my own Money among his and bad me get me gone and
carry it all into my own Chamber
I relate this Story the more particularly because of the good Humour of it
and to show the Temper with which we conversd It was not long after this but
he began every Day to find Fault with my Cloaths with my Laces and
Headdresses and in a Word pressd me to buy better which by the way I was
willing enough to do tho I did not seem to be so I lovd nothing in the World
better than fine Cloaths but I told him I must Housewife the Money he had lent
me or else I should not be able to pay him again He then told me in a few
Words that as he had a sincere Respect for me and knew my Circumstances he
had not lent me that Money but given it me and that he thought I had merited
it from him by giving him my Company so intirely as I had done After this he
made me take a Maid and keep House and his Friend being gone he obliged me to
dyet him which I did very willingly believing as it appeard that I should
lose nothing by it nor did the Woman of the House fail to find her Account in
it too
We had livd thus near three Months when the Company beginning to wear away
at the Bath he talkd of going away and fain he would have me to go to London
with him I was not very easy in that Proposal not knowing what Posture I was
to live in there or how he might use me But while this was in Debate he fell
very Sick he had gone out to a Place in Somersetshire calld Shepton and was
there taken very ill and so ill that he could not Travel so he sent his Man
back to the Bath to beg me that I would hire a Coach and come over to him
Before he went he had left his Money and other things of Value with me and
what to do with them I did not know but I securd them as well as I could and
lockd up the Lodgings and went to him where I found him very ill indeed so I
perswaded him to be carryd in a Litter to Bath where was more Help and better
Advice to be had
He consented and I brought him to the Bath which was about fifteen Miles
as I remember here he continued very ill of a Fever and kept his Bed five
Weeks all which time I nursd him and tended him as carefully as if I had been
his Wife indeed if I had been his Wife I could not have done more I sat up
with him so much and so often that at last indeed he would not let me sit up
any longer and then I got a Pallet Bed into his Room and lay in it just at his
Beds Feet
I was indeed sensibly affected with his Condition and with the
Apprehensions of losing such a Friend as he was and was like to be to me and I
usd to sit and cry by him many Hours together At last he grew better and gave
hopes that he would recover as indeed he did tho very slowly
Were it otherwise than what I am going to say I should not be backward to
disclose it as it is apparent I have done in other Cases but I affirm through
all this Conversation abating the coming into the Chamber when I or he was in
Bed and the necessary Offices of attending him Night and Day when he was Sick
there had not passd the least immodest Word or Action between us O that it
had been so to the last
After some time he gathered Strength and grew well apace and I would have
removd my Pallet Bed but he would not let me till he was able to venture
himself without any Body to sit up with him when I removd to my own Chamber
He took many Occasions to express his Sense of my Tenderness for him and
when he grew well he made me a Present of fifty Guineas for my Care and as he
calld it hazarding my Life to save his
And now he made deep Protestations of a sincere inviolable Affection for me
but with the utmost reserve for my Virtue and his own I told him I was fully
satisfyd of it he carried it that length that he protested to me that if he
was naked in Bed with me he would as sacredly preserve my Virtue as he would
defend it if I was assaulted by a Ravisher I believd him and told him I did
so but this did not satisfy him he would he said wait for some Opportunity
to give me an undoubted Testimony of it
It was a great while after this that I had Occasion on my Business to go
to Bristol upon which he hird me a Coach and would go with me and now indeed
our Intimacy increasd From Bristol he carryd me to Gloucester which was
meerly a Journey of Pleasure to take the Air and here it was our hap to have no
Lodgings in the Inn but in one large Chamber with two Beds in it The Master of
the House going with us to show his Rooms and coming into that Room said very
frankly to him Sir It is none of my Business to enquire whether the Lady be
your Spouse or no but if not you may lye as honestly in these two Beds as if
you were in two Chambers and with that he pulls a great Curtain which drew
quite cross the Room and effectually divided the Beds well says my Friend
very readily these Beds will do and as for the rest we are too near a Kin to
lye together tho we may lodge near one another and this put an honest Face on
the thing too When we came to go to Bed he decently went out of the Room till
I was in Bed and then went to Bed in the other Bed but lay there talking to me
a great while
At last repeating his usual saying that he could lye naked in the Bed with
me and not offer me the least Injury he starts out of his Bed and now my Dear
says he you shall see how just I will be to you and that I can keep my Word
and away he comes to my Bed
I resisted a little but I must confess I should not have resisted him much
if he had not made those Promises at all so after a little struggle I lay
still and let him come to Bed when he was there he took me in his Arms and so
I lay all Night with him but he had no more to do with me or offerd anything
to me other than embracing me as I say in his Arms no not the whole Night
but rose up and dressd him in the Morning and left me as innocent for him as I
was the Day I was born
This was a surprising thing to me and perhaps may be so to others who know
how the Laws of Nature Work for he was a vigorous brisk Person nor did he act
thus on a Principle of Religion at all but of meer Affection insisting on it
that tho I was to him the most agreeable Woman in the World yet because he
lovd me he could not injure me
I own it was a noble Principle but as it was what I never saw before so it
was perfectly amazing We travelld the rest of the Journey as we did before
and came back to the Bath where as he had Opportunity to come to me when he
would he often repeated the same Moderation and I frequently lay with him and
altho all the Familiarities of Man and Wife were common to us yet he never
once offered to go any farther and he valud himself much upon it I do not
say that I was so wholly pleasd with it as he thought I was for I own I was
much wickeder than he
We livd thus near Two Years only with this Exception that he went three
times to London in that time and once he continud there four Months but to do
him Justice he always supplyd me with Money to subsist on very Handsomely
Had we continud thus I confess we had had much to boast of but as wise
Men say it is ill venturing too near the brink of a Command so we found it
and here again I must do him the Justice to own that the first Breach was not on
his Part It was one Night that we were in Bed together warm and merry and
having drank I think a little more both of us than usual tho not in the
least to disorder us when after some other Follies which I cannot Name and
being claspd close in his Arms I told him I repeat it with shame and horror
of soul that I could find in my Heart to discharge him of his Engagement for
one Night and no more
He took me at my Word immediately and after that there was no resisting
him neither indeed had I any mind to resist him any more
Thus the Government of our Virtue was broken and I exchangd the Place of
Friend for that unmusical harsh sounding Title of Whore In the Morning we were
both at our Penitentials I cried very heartily he expressd himself very
sorry but that was all either of us could do at that time and the way being
thus cleard and the Bars of Virtue and Conscience thus removd we had the
less to struggle with
It was but a dull kind of Conversation that we had together for all the rest
of that Week I lookd on him with Blushes and every now and then started that
melancholly Objection What if I should be with Child now What will become of
me then He encouraged me by telling me that as long as I was true to him he
would be so to me and since it was gone such a length which indeed he never
intended yet if I was with Child he would take care of that and me too This
hardend us both I assured him if I was with Child I would die for want of a
Midwife rather than name him as the Father of it and he assured me I should
never want if I should be with Child These mutual Assurances hardend us in the
thing and after this we repeated the Crime as often as we pleased till at
length as I feard so it came to pass and I was indeed with Child
After I was sure it was so and I had satisfied him of it too we began to
think of taking Measures for the managing it and I proposd trusting the Secret
to my Landlady and asking her Advice which he agreed to My Landlady a Woman
as I found usd to such things made light of it she said she knew it would
come to that at last and made us very merry about it As I said above we found
her an experienced old Lady at such Work she undertook everything engagd to
procure a Midwife and a Nurse to satisfy all Enquiries and bring us off with
Reputation and she did so very dexterously indeed
When I grew near my time she desird my Gentleman to go away to London or
make as if he did so when he was gone she acquainted the Parish Officers that
there was a Lady ready to lye in at her House but that she knew her Husband
very well and gave them as she pretended an account of his Name which she
calld Sir Walter Cleave telling them he was a worthy Gentleman and that he
would answer for all Enquiries and the like This satisfied the Parish Officers
presently and I lay Inn in as much Credit as I could have done if I had really
been my Lady Cleave and was assisted in my Travail by three or four of the best
Citizens Wives of Bath which however made me a little the more Expensive to
him I often expressed my concern to him about that part but he bid me not be
concerned at it
As he had furnishd me very sufficiently with Money for the extraordinary
Expences of my lying Inn I had every thing very handsome about me but did not
affect to be so Gay or Extravagant neither besides knowing the World as I had
done and that such kind of things do not often last long I took care to lay up
as much Money as I could for a wet Day as I calld it making him believe it
was all spent upon the extraordinary Appearance of things in my lying Inn
By this Means with what he had given me as above I had at the end of my
lying Inn 200 Guineas by me including also what was left of my own
I was brought to Bed of a fine Boy indeed and a charming Child it was and
when he heard of it he wrote me a very kind obliging Letter about it and then
told me he thought it would look better for me to come away for London as soon
as I was up and well that he had provided Apartments for me at Hamersmith as
if I came only from London and that after a while I should go back to the Bath
and he would go with me
I likd his Offer very well and hird a Coach on purpose and taking my
Child and a WetNurse to tend and suckle it and a Maid Servant with me away I
went for London
He met me at Reading in his own Charriot and taking me into that left the
Servant and the Child in the hird Coach and so he brought me to my new
Lodgings at Hamersmith with which I had abundance of Reason to be very well
pleasd for they were very handsome Rooms
And now I was indeed in the height of what I might call Prosperity and I
wanted nothing but to be a Wife which however could not be in this Case and
therefore on all Occasions I studied to save what I could as I said above
against the time of Scarcity knowing well enough that such things as these do
not always continue that Men that keep Mistresses often change them grow weary
of them or Jealous of them or something or other and sometimes the Ladies
that are thus well usd are not careful by a prudent Conduct to preserve the
Esteem of their Persons or the nice Article of their Fidelity and then they
are justly cast off with Contempt
But I was securd in this Point for as I had no Inclination to change so I
had no manner of Acquaintance so no Temptation to look any farther I kept no
Company but in the Family where I lodgd and with a Clergymans Lady at next
Door so that when he was absent I visited no Body nor did he ever find me out
of my Chamber or Parlour whenever he came down if I went any where to take the
Air it was always with him
The living in this manner with him and his with me was certainly the most
undesigned thing in the World he often protested to me that when he became
first acquainted with me and even to the very Night when we first broke in upon
our Rules he never had the least Design of lying with me that he always had a
sincere Affection for me but not the least real Inclination to do what he had
done I assured him I never suspected him that if I had I should not so easily
have yielded to the Freedoms which brought it on but that it was all a
Surprize and was owing to our having yielded too far to our mutual Inclinations
that Night and indeed I have often observd since and leave it as a Caution to
the Readers of this Story that we ought to be cautious of gratifying our
Inclinations in loose and lewd Freedoms lest we find our Resolutions of Virtue
fail us in the Juncture when their Assistance should be most necessary
It is true that from the first Hour I began to converse with him I resolvd
to let him lye with me if he offered it but it was because I wanted his Help
and knew of no other way of securing him But when we were that Night together
and as I have said had gone such a length I found my Weakness the
Inclination was not to be resisted but I was obliged to yield up all even
before he askd it
However he was so just to me that he never upbraided me with that nor did
he ever express the least dislike of my Conduct on any other Occasion but
always protested he was as much delighted with my Company as he was the first
Hour we came together
It is true that he had no Wife that is to say she was no Wife to him but
the Reflections of Conscience oftentimes snatch a Man especially a Man of
Sense from the Arms of a Mistress as it did him at last tho on another
Occasion
On the other hand tho I was not without secret Reproaches of my own
Conscience for the Life I led and that even in the greatest height of the
Satisfaction I ever took yet I had the terrible prospect of Poverty and
Starving which lay on me as a frightful Spectre so that there was no looking
behind me But as Poverty brought me into it so fear of Poverty kept me in it
and I frequently resolvd to leave it quite off if I could but come to lay up
Money enough to maintain me But these were Thoughts of no weight and whenever
he came to me they vanishd for his Company was so Delightful that there was
no being Melancholly when he was there the Reflections were all the Subject of
those Hours when I was alone
I livd six Years in this happy but unhappy Condition in which time I
brought him three Children but only the first of them livd and tho I removd
twice in that Six Years yet I came back the Sixth Year to my first Lodgings at
Hamersmith Here it was that I was one Morning surprisd with a kind but
melancholly Letter from my Gentleman intimating that he was very ill and was
afraid he should have another Fit of Sickness but that his Wifes Relations
being in the House with him it would not be practicable to have me with him
which however he expressd his great Dissatisfaction in and that he wishd I
could be allowd to tend and Nurse him as I did before
I was very much concernd at this Account and was very impatient to know
how it was with him I waited a Fortnight or thereabouts and heard nothing
which surprizd me and I began to be very uneasy indeed I think I may say
that for the next Fortnight I was near to distracted It was my particular
Difficulty that I did not know directly where he was for I understood at first
he was in the Lodgings of his Wifes Mother but having removd my self to
London I soon found by the help of the Direction I had for writing my Letters
to him how to enquire after him and there I found that he was at a House in
Bloomsbury whither he had removd his whole Family and that his Wife and
Wifes Mother were in the same House tho the Wife was not sufferd to know
that she was in the same House with her Husband
Here I also soon understood that he was at the last Extremity which made me
almost at the last Extremity too to have a true Account One Night I had the
Curiosity to disguise my self like a Servant Maid in a round Cap and Straw Hat
and went to the Door as sent by a Lady of his Neighbourhood where he livd
before and giving Master and Mistresss Service I said I was sent to know how
Mr did and how he had rested that Night in delivering this Message I got
the Opportunity I desird for speaking with one of the Maids I held a long
Gossips Tale with her and had all the Particulars of his Illness which I found
was a Pluresy attended with a Cough and Fever she told me also who was in the
House and how his Wife was who by her Relation they were in some hopes might
recover her Understanding but as to the Gentleman himself the Doctors said
there was very little hopes of him that in the Morning they thought he had been
dying and that he was but little better then for they did not expect that he
could live over the next Night
This was heavy News for me and I began now to see an end of my Prosperity
and to see that it was well I had plaid the good Housewife and savd something
while he was alive for now I had no view of my own Living before me
It lay very heavy upon my Mind too that I had a Son a fine lovely Boy
about five Years old and no Provision made for it at least that I knew of
with these Considerations and a sad Heart I went home that Evening and began
to cast with my self how I should live and in what manner to bestow my self
for the residue of my Life
You may be sure I could not rest without enquiring again very quickly what
was become of him and not venturing to go my self I sent several sham
Messengers till after a Fortnights waiting longer I found that there was hopes
of his Life tho he was still very ill then I abated my sending to the House
and in some time after I learnt in the Neighbourhood that he was about House
and then that he was Abroad again
I made no doubt then but that I should soon hear of him and began to
comfort my self with my Circumstances being as I thought recovered I waited
a Week and two Weeks and with much surprize near two Months and heard nothing
but that being recovered he was gone into the Country for the Air after his
Distemper after this it was yet two Months more and then I understood he was
come to his CityHouse again but still I heard nothing from him
I had written several Letters for him and directed them as usual and found
two or three of them had been calld for but not the rest I wrote again in a
more pressing manner than ever and in one of them let him know that I must be
forcd to wait on him my self representing my Circumstances the Rent of
Lodgings to pay and the Provision for the Child wanting and my own deplorable
Condition destitute of Subsistance after his most solemn Engagement to take
Care of and provide for me I took a Copy of this Letter and finding it lay at
the House near a Month and was not calld for I found Means to have the Copy
of it put into his Hands at a CoffeeHouse where I found he had usd to go
This Letter forcd an Answer from him by which tho I found I was to be
abandond yet I found he had sent a Letter to me some time before desiring me
to go down to the Bath again its Contents I shall come to presently
It is true that Sick Beds are the times when such Correspondences as this
are lookd on with different Countenances and seen with other Eyes than we saw
them with before My Lover had been at the Gates of Death and at the very brink
of Eternity and it seems struck with a due Remorse and with sad Reflections
upon his past Life of Gallantry and Levity and among the rest his criminal
Correspondence with me which was indeed neither more or less than a long
continud Life of Adultery had represented itself as it really was not as it
had been formerly thought by him to be and he lookd upon it now with a just
Abhorence
I cannot but observe also and leave it for the Direction of my Sex in such
Cases of Pleasure that whenever sincere Repentance succeeds such a Crime as
this there never fails to attend a Hatred of the Object; and the more the
Affection might seem to be before the Hatred will be more in Proportion It
will always be so indeed it cannot be otherwise for there cannot be a true and
sincere Abhorence of the Offence and the Love to the Cause of it remain there
will with an Abhorence of the Sin be found a Detestation of the fellow Sinner
you can expect no other
I found it so here tho good Manners and Justice in this Gentleman kept
him from carrying it on to any Extream but the short History of his Part in
this Affair was thus he perceived by my last Letter and by the rest which he
went for after that I was not gone to the Bath and that his first Letter had
not come to my Hand upon which he writes me this following
Madam
I am surprisd that my Letter dated the 8th of last Month did not
come to your Hand I give you my Word it was deliverd at your Lodgings
and to the Hands of your Maid
I need not acquaint you with what has been my Condition for some
time past and how having been at the Edge of the Grave I am by the
unexpected and undeserved Mercy of Heaven restord again In the
Condition I have been in it cannot be strange to you that our unhappy
Correspondence has not been the least of the Burthens which lay upon my
Conscience I need say no more those things that must be repented of
must be also reformd
I wish you would think of going back to the Bath I enclose you here
a Bill for 50l for clearing your self at your Lodgings and carrying
you down and hope it will be no Surprize to you to add that on this
Account only and not for any Offence given me on your side I can SEE
YOU NO MORE I will take due care of the Child leave him where he is
or take him with you as you please I wish you the like Reflections
and that they may be to your Advantage I am ampc
I was struck with this Letter as with a thousand Wounds the Reproaches of my
own Conscience were such as I cannot express for I was not blind to my own
Crime and I reflected that I might with less Offence have continued with my
Brother since there was no Crime in our Marriage on that Score neither of us
knowing it
But I never once reflected that I was all this while a marryd Woman a Wife
to Mr the LinnenDraper who tho he had left me by the Necessity of his
Circumstances had no Power to discharge me from the Marriage Contract which was
between us or to give me a legal liberty to marry again so that I had been no
less than a Whore and an Adulteress all this while I then reproachd my self
with the Liberties I had taken and how I had been a Snare to this Gentleman
and that indeed I was principal in the Crime that now he was mercifully
snatchd out of the Gulph by a convincing Work upon his Mind but that I was
left as if I was abandond by Heaven to a continuing in my Wickedness
Under these Reflections I continud very pensive and sad for near a Month
and did not go down to the Bath having no Inclination to be with the Woman who
I was with before least as I thought she should prompt me to some wicked
Course of Life again as she had done and besides I was loth she should know I
was cast off as above
And now I was greatly perplexd about my little Boy it was Death to me to
part with the Child and yet when I considerd the Danger of being one time or
other left with him to keep without being able to support him I then resolvd
to leave him but then I concluded to be near him my self too that I might have
the Satisfaction of seeing him without the Care of providing for him So I sent
my Gentleman a short Letter that I had obeyd his Orders in all things but that
of going back to the Bath that however parting from him was a Wound to me that
I could never recover yet that I was fully satisfied his Reflections were just
and would be very far from desiring to obstruct his Reformation
Then I represented my own Circumstances to him in the most moving Terms I
told him that those unhappy Distresses which first movd him to a generous
Friendship for me would I hope move him to a little Concern for me now tho
the Criminal part of our Correspondence which I believd neither of us intended
to fall into at that time was broken off that I desird to repent as sincerely
as he had done but intreated him to put me in some Condition that I might not
be exposd to Temptations from the frightful prospect of Poverty and Distress
and if he had the least Apprehensions of my being troublesome to him I begd he
would put me in a Posture to go back to my Mother in Virginia from whence he
knew I came and that would put an end to all his Fears on that account I
concluded that if he would send me 50l more to facilitate my going away I
would send him back a general Release and would promise never to disturb him
more with any Importunities unless it were to hear of the welldoing of the
Child who if I found my Mother living and my Circumstances able I would send
for and take him also off of his Hands
This was indeed all a Cheat thus far viz that I had no intention to go to
Virginia as the Account of my former Affairs there may convince any Body of
but the Business was to get this last Fifty Pounds of him if possible knowing
well enough it would be the last Penny I was ever to expect
However the Argument I usd namely of giving him a general Release and
never troubling him any more prevaild effectually and he sent me a Bill for
the Money by a Person who brought with him a general Release for me to sign and
which I frankly signd and thus tho full sore against my will a final End
was put to this Affair
And here I cannot but reflect upon the unhappy Consequence of too great
Freedoms between Persons stated as we were upon the pretence of innocent
Intentions Love of Friendship and the like for the Flesh has generally so
great a share in those Friendships that it is great odds but Inclination
prevails at last over the most solemn Resolutions and that Vice breaks in at
the Breaches of Decency which really innocent Friendship ought to preserve with
the greatest strictness but I leave the Readers of these things to their own
just Reflections which they will be more able to make effectual than I who so
soon forgot my self and am therefore but a very indifferent Monitor
I was now a single Person again as I may call my self I was loosd from
all the Obligations either of Wedlock or Mistressship in the World except my
Husband the LinnenDraper who I having not now heard from in almost Fifteen
Years no Body could blame me for thinking my self entirely freed from seeing
also he had at his going away told me that if I did not hear frequently from
him I should conclude he was dead and I might freely marry again to whom I
pleasd
I now began to cast up my Accounts I had by many Letters and much
Importunity and with the Intercession of my Mother too had a second return of
some Goods from my Brother as I now call him in Virginia to make up the
Damage of the Cargo I brought away with me and this too was upon the Condition
of my sealing a general Release to him which though I thought hard but yet I
was obligd to promise I managd so well in this case that I got my Goods away
before the Release was signd and then I always found something or other to say
to evade the thing and to put off the signing it at all till at length I
pretended I must write to my Brother before I could do it
Including this Recruit and before I got the last 50l I found my strength
to amount put all together to about 400l so that with that I had above 450l
I had savd 100l more but I met with a Disaster with that which was this
that a Goldsmith in whose Hands I had trusted it broke so I lost 70 of my
Money the Mans Composition not making above 30l out of his 100l I had a
little Plate but not much and was well enough stockd with Cloaths and Linnen
With this Stock I had the World to begin again but you are to consider
that I was not now the same Woman as when I livd at Rotherbith for first of
all I was near 20 Years older and did not look the better for my Age nor for
my Rambles to Virginia and back again and tho I omitted nothing that might set
me out to Advantage except Painting for that I never stoopd to yet there
would always be some difference seen between Five and Twenty and Two and Forty
I cast about innumerable ways for my future State of Life and began to
consider very seriously what I should do but nothing offerd I took care to
make the World take me for something more than I was and had it given out that
I was a Fortune and that my Estate was in my own Hands the last of which was
very true the first of it was as above I had no Acquaintance which was one of
my worst Misfortunes and the Consequence of that was I had no Adviser and
above all I had no Body to whom I could in confidence commit the Secret of my
Circumstances to and I found by Experience that to be Friendless is the worst
Condition next to being in want that a Woman can be reducd to I say a Woman
because tis evident Men can be their own Advisers and their own Directors and
know how to work themselves out of Difficulties and into Business better than
Women but if a Woman has no Friend to Communicate her Affairs to and to advise
and assist her tis ten to one but she is undone nay and the more Money she
has the more Danger she is in of being wrongd and deceivd and this was my
Case in the Affair of the Hundred Pound which I left in the Hand of the
Goldsmith as above whose Credit it seems was upon the Ebb before but I that
had no Body to consult with knew nothing of it and so lost my Money
When a Woman is thus left desolate and void of Council she is just like a
Bag of Money or a Jewel dropt on the Highway which is a Prey to the next
Comer if a Man of Virtue and upright Principles happens to find it he will
have it cried and the Owner may come to hear of it again but how many times
shall such a thing fall into Hands that will make no scruple of seizing it for
their own to once that it shall come into good Hands
This was evidently my Case for I was now a loose unguided Creature and had
no Help no Assistance no Guide for my Conduct I knew what I aimd at and
what I wanted but knew nothing how to pursue the End by direct means I wanted
to be placd in a settled State of Living and had I happend to meet with a
sober good Husband I should have been as true a Wife to him as Virtue it self
could have formd If I had been otherwise the Vice came in always at the Door
of Necessity not at the Door of Inclination and I understood too well by the
want of it what the Value of a settld Life was to do any thing to forfeit the
felicity of it nay I should have made the better Wife for all the Difficulties
I had passd thro by a great deal nor did I in any of the Times that I had
been a Wife give my Husbands the least uneasiness on account of my Behaviour
But all this was nothing I found no incouraging Prospect I waited I livd
regularly and with as much frugality as became my Circumstances but nothing
offerd nothing presented and the main Stock wasted apace what to do I knew
not the Terror of approaching Poverty lay hard upon my Spirits I had some
Money but where to place it I knew not nor would the Interest of it maintain
me at least not in London
Atlength a new Scene opened There was in the House where I lodgd a North
Country Gentlewoman and nothing was more frequent in her Discourse than her
account of the cheapness of Provisions and the easy way of living in her
Country how plentiful and how cheap everything was what good Company they
kept and the like till at last I told her she almost tempted me to go and live
in her Country for I that was a Widow tho I had sufficient to live on yet
had no way of increasing it and that London was an extravagant Place that I
found I could not live here under One Hundred Pound a Year unless I kept no
Company no Servant made no Appearance and buried my self in Privacy as if I
was obligd to it by Necessity
I should have observd that she was always made to believe as every Body
else was that I was a great Fortune or at least that I had Three or Four
Thousand Pounds if not more and all in my own Hands and she was mighty sweet
upon me when she thought me inclind in the least to go into her Country she
said she had a sister livd near Liverpool that her Brother was a considerable
Gentleman there and had a great Estate also in Ireland that she woud go down
there in about two Months and if I would give her my Company thither I should
be as welcome as her self for a Month or more as I pleasd till I should see
how I likd the Country and if I thought fit to live there she would undertake
they would take care tho they did not entertain Lodgers themselves they would
recommend me to some agreeable Family where I should be placd to my content
If this Woman had known my real Circumstances she would never have laid so
many Snares and taken so many weary steps to catch a poor desolate Creature
that was good for little when it was caught and indeed I whose Case was almost
desperate and thought I coud not be much worse was not very anxious about
what might befall me provided they did me no personal Injury so I suffered my
self tho not without a great deal of Invitation and great Professions of
sincere Friendship and real Kindness I say I sufferd my self to be prevaild
upon to go with her and accordingly I put my self in a Posture for a Journey
tho I did not absolutely know whither I was to go
And now I found my self in great Distress what little I had in the World
was all in Money except as before a little Plate some Linnen and my Cloaths
as for Houshold stuff I had little or none for I had livd always in Lodgings
but I had not one Friend in the World with whom to trust that little I had or
to direct me how to dispose of it I thought of the Bank and of the other
Companies in London but I had no Friend to commit the Management of it to and
to keep and carry about me Bank Bills Talleys Orders and such things I
lookd upon as unsafe that if they were lost my Money was lost and then I was
undone and on the other hand I might be robbd and perhaps murderd in a
strange place for them and what to do I knew not
It came into my Thoughts one Morning that I would go to the Bank my self
where I had often been to receive the Interest of some Bills I had and where I
had found the Clark to whom I applyd my self very Honest to me and
particularly so fair one time that when I had misstold my Money and taken less
than my due and was coming away he set me to rights and gave me the rest
which he might have put into his own Pocket
I went to him and askd if he would trouble himself to be my Adviser who
was a poor friendless Widow and knew not what to do He told me if I desird
his Opinion of any thing within the reach of his Business he would do his
Endeavour that I should not be wrongd but that he would also help me to a good
sober Person of his Acquaintance who was a Clark in such Business too tho not
in their House whose Judgment was good and whose Honesty I mighty depend upon
for added he I will answer for him and for every step he takes if he wrongs
you Madam of one Farthing it shall lye at my door and he delights to assist
People in such Cases he does it as an act of Chaity
I was a little at a stand at this Discourse but after some pause I told
him I had rather have depended upon him because I had found him Honest but if
that coud not be I would take his Recommendation sooner than any ones else I
dare say Madam says he that you will be as well satisfied with my Friend as
with me and he is thoroughly able to assist you which I am not it seems he
had his Hands full of the Business of the Bank and had engagd to meddle with
no other Business than that of his Office He added that his Friend should take
nothing of me for his Advice or Assistance and this indeed encouragd me
He appointed the same Evening after the Bank was shut for me to meet him
and his Friend as soon as I saw his Friend and he began but to talk of the
Affair I was fully satisfied I had a very honest Man to deal with his
Countenance spoke it and his Character as I heard afterwards was every where
so good that I had no room for any more doubts upon me
After the first meeting in which I only said what I had said before he
appointed me to come the next Day telling me I might in the mean time satisfy
my self of him by enquiry which however I knew not how to do having no
Acquaintance my self
Accordingly I met him the next Day when I entered more freely with him into
my Case I told him my Circumstances at large that I was a Widow come over from
America perfectly desolate and friendless that I had a little Money and but a
little and was almost distracted for fear of losing it having no Friend in the
World to trust with the management of it that I was going into the North of
England to live cheap that my Stock might not waste that I would willingly
Lodge my Money in the Bank but that I durst not carry the Bills about me and
how to Correspond about it or with who I knew not
He told me I might lodge the Money in the Bank as an Account and its being
entred in the Books would entitle me to the Money at any time and if I was in
the North I might draw Bills on the Cashier and receive it when I would but
that then it woud be esteemd as running Cash and the Bank would give no
Interest for it that I might buy Stock with it and so it would lie in store
for me but that then if I wanted to dispose of it I must come up to Town to
Transfer it and even it would be with some difficulty I should receive the half
yearly Dividend unless I was here in Person or had some Friend I could trust
with having the Stock in his Name to do it for me and that would have the same
difficulty in it as before and with that he lookd hard at me and smild a
little at last says he why do you not get a head Steward Madam that may
take you and your Money together and then you would have the trouble taken off
of your Hands Ay Sir and the Money too it may be said I for truly I find
the hazard that way is as much as tis t other way but I remember I said
secretly to my self I wish you would ask me the Question fairly I would
consider very seriously on it before I said NO
He went on a good way with me and I thought once or twice he was in
earnest but to my real Affliction I found at last he had a Wife but when he
ownd he had a Wife he shook his Head and said with some Concern that indeed
he had a Wife and no Wife I began to think he had been in the Condition of my
late Lover and that his Wife had been Lunatick or some such thing However we
had not much more Discourse at that time but he told me he was in too much
hurry of business then but that if I would come home to his House after their
Business was over he would consider what might be done for me to put my
Affairs in a Posture of Security I told him I would come and desird to know
where he livd He gave me a Direction in Writing and when he gave it me he
read it to me and said there tis Madam if you dare trust your self with me
Yes Sir said I I believe I may venture to trust you with my self for you have
a Wife you say and I dont want a Husband besides I dare trust you with my
Money which is all I have in the World and if that were gone I may trust my
self any where
He said some things in Jest that were very handsome and mannerly and would
have pleasd me very well if they had been in earnest but that passd over I
took the Directions and appointed to be at his House at Seven oClock the same
Evening
When I came he made several Proposals for my placing my Money in the Bank
in order to my having Interest for it but still some difficulty or other came
in the way which he objected as not safe and I found such a sincere
disinterested Honesty in him that I began to think I had certainly found the
honest Man I wanted and that I could never put my self into better Hands so I
told him with a great deal of frankness that I had never met with a Man or Woman
yet that I could trust or in whom I could think my self safe but that I saw he
was so disinterestedly concernd for my safety that I would freely trust him
with the management of that little I had if he would accept to be Steward for a
poor Widow that could give him no Salary
He smild and standing up with great Respect saluted me he told me he
could not but take it very kindly that I had so good an Opinion of him that he
would not deceive me that he would do any thing in his Power to serve me and
expect no Salary but that he could not by any means accept of a Trust that
might bring him to be suspected of Selfinterest and that if I should die he
might have Disputes with my Executors which he should be very loth to encumber
himself with
I told him if those were all his Objections I would soon remove them and
convince him that there was not the least room for any difficulty for that
first as for suspecting him if ever now was the time to suspect him and not to
put the Trust into his Hands and whenever I did suspect him he could but throw
it up then and refuse to go on Then as to Executors I assurd him I had no
Heirs nor any Relations in England and I would have neither Heirs or Executors
but himself unless I should alter my Condition and then his Trust and Trouble
should cease together which however I had no prospect of yet but I told him if
I died as I was it should be all his own and he would deserve it by being so
faithful to me as I was satisfied he would be
He changd his Countenance at this Discourse and askd me how I came to
have so much goodwill for him and looking very much pleasd said he might
very lawfully wish he was single for my sake I smild and told him that as he
was not my Offer could have no design upon him and to wish was not to be
allowd twas Criminal to his Wife
He told me I was wrong for says he as I said before I have a Wife and no
Wife and twould be no Sin to wish her hangd I know nothing of your
Circumstances that way sir said I but it cannot be innocent to wish your Wife
dead I tell you says he again she is a Wife and no Wife you dont know what
I am or what she is
Thats true said I Sir I dont know what you are but I believe you to be
an honest Man and thats the Cause of all my Confidence in you
Well well says he and so I am but I am something else too Madam for
says he to be plain with you I am a Cuckold and she is a Whore he spoke it
in a kind of Jest but it was with such an awkward smile that I perceivd it
stuck very close to him and he lookd dismally when he said it
That alters the Case indeed Sir said I as to that part you were speaking
of but a Cuckold you know may be an honest Man it does not alter that Case at
all besides I think said I since your Wife is so dishonest to you you are
too honest to her to own her for your Wife but that said I is what I have
nothing to do with Nay says he I do think to clear my Hands of her for to be
plain with you Madam added he I am no contented Cuckold neither On the other
hand I assure you it provokes me to the highest Degree but I cant help my
self she that will be a Whore will be a Whore
I wavd the Discourse and began to talk of my Business but I found he
could not have done with it so I let him alone and he went on to tell me all
the Circumstances of his Case too long to relate here particularly that
having been out of England some time before he came to the Post he was in she
had had two Children in the mean time by an Officer of the Army and that when
he came to England and upon her Submission took her again and maintaind her
very well yet she run away from him with a LinnenDrapers Apprentice robbd
him of what she could come at and continud to live from him still so that
Madam says he she is a Whore not by Necessity which is the common Bait but
by Inclination and for the sake of the Vice
Well I pitied him and wishd him well rid of her and still would have
talkd of my Business but it would not do at last he looked steadily at me
look you Madam says he you came to ask Advice of me and I will serve you as
faithfully as if you were my own Sister but I must turn the Tables since you
oblige me to do it and are so friendly to me and I think I must ask Advice of
you tell me what must a poor abusd fellow do with a Whore What can I do to do
my self Justice upon her
Alas Sir says I Tis a Case too nice for me to advise in but it seems
she has run away from you so you are rid of her fairly what can you desire
more Ay she is gone indeed said he but I am not clear of her for all that
Thats true says I she may indeed run you into Debt but the Law has furnishd
you with Methods to prevent that also you may Cry her down as they call it
No no says he that is not the Case I have taken care of all that tis
not that part that I speak of but I would be rid of her that I might marry
again
Well sir says I then you must Divorce her if you can prove what you say
you may certainly get that done and then you are free
Thats very tedious and expensive says he
Why says I if you can get any Woman you like to take your Word I suppose
your Wife would not dispute the Liberty with you that she takes herself
Ay says he but twoud be hard to bring an honest Woman to do that and
for the other sort says he I have had enough of her to meddle with any more
Whores
It occurd to me presently I would have taken your Word with all my Heart
if you had but askd me the Question but that was to my self to him I replyd
why you shut the Door against any honest Woman accepting you for you condemn
all that should venture upon you and conclude that a Woman that takes you now
cant be honest
Why says he I wish you would satisfy me that an honest Woman would take
me Id venture it and then turns short upon me will you take me Madam
Thats not a fair Question says I after what you have said however least
you shoud think I wait only a Recantation of it I shall answer you plainly NO
not I my Business is of another kind with you and I did not expect you would
have turnd my serious Application to you in my distracted Case into a Comedy
Why Madam says he my Case is as distracted as yours can be and I stand
in as much need of Advice as you do for I think if I have not Relief some
where I shall be mad my self and I know not what course to take I protest to
you
Why sir says I tis easier to give Advice in your Case than mine speak
then says he I beg of you for now you encourage me
Why says I if your Case is so plain you may be legally Divorcd and then
you may find honest Women enough to ask the Question of fairly the Sex is not
so scarce that you can want a Wife
Well then said he I am in earnest Ill take your Advice but shall I ask
you one Question seriously before hand
Any Question said I but that you did before
No that Answer will not do said he for in short that is the Question I
shall ask
You may ask what Questions you please but you have my Answer to that
already said I besides Sir said I can you think so ill of me as that I
woud give any Answer to such a Question before hand Can any Woman alive
believe you in earnest or think you design any thing but to banter her
Well well says he I do not banter you I am in earnest consider of it
But Sir says I a little gravely I came to you about my own Business I
beg of you to let me know what you will advise me to do
I will be prepard says he against you come again
Nay says I you have forbid my coming any more
Why so said he and lookd a little surprizd
Because said I you cant expect I should visit you on the account you talk
of
Well says he you shall promise to come again however and I will not say
any more of it till I have the Divorce but I desire youll prepare to be better
conditiond when thats done for you shall be the Woman or I will not be
Divorcd at all I owe it to your unlooked for kindness if to nothing else but
I have other Reasons too
He could not have said anything in the World that pleasd me better
however I knew that the way to secure him was to stand off while the thing was
so remote as it appeard to be and that it was time enough to accept of it
when he was able to perform it so I said very respectfully to him it was time
enough to consider of these things when he was in a Condition to talk of them
in the mean time I told him I was going a great way from him and he would find
Objects enough to please him better We broke off here for the present and he
made me promise him to come again the next Day for my own Business which after
some pressing I did tho had he seen farther into me I wanted no pressing on
that Account
I came the next Evening accordingly and brought my Maid with me to let him
see that I kept a Maid He would have had me let the Maid have staid but I
would not but orderd her aloud to come for me again about Nine a Clock but he
forbid that and told me he would see me safe Home which I was not very well
pleased with supposing he might do that to know where I livd and enquire into
my Character and Circumstances However I venturd that for all the People
there knew of me was to my Advantage and all the Character he had of me was
that I was a Woman of Fortune and that I was a very modest sober Body which
whether true or not in the Main yet you may see how necessary it is for all
Women who expect any thing in the World to preserve the Character of their
Virtue even when perhaps they may have sacrifizd the Thing itself
I found and was not a little pleasd with it that he had provided a Supper
for me I found also he livd very handsomely and had a House very handsomely
furnishd and which I was rejoicd at indeed for I lookd upon it all as my
own
We had now a second Conference upon the Subject Matter of the last He laid
his Business very Home indeed he protested his Affection to me and indeed I
had no room to doubt it he declared that it began from the first Moment I
talkd with him and long before I had mentioned leaving my Effects with him
tis no matter when it began thought I if it will but hold twill be well
enough He then told me how much the Offer I had made of trusting him with my
Effects had engagd him so I intended it should thought I but then I thought
you had been a single Man too After we had Suppd I observd he pressd me
very hard to drink two or three Glasses of Wine which however I declind but
drank one Glass or two He then told me he had a Proposal to make to me which I
should promise him I would not take ill if I should not grant it I told him I
hopd he would make no dishonourable Proposal to me especially in his own
House and that if it was such I desird he would not mention it that I might
not be obliged to offer any Resentment to him that did not become the Respect I
professd for him and the Trust I had placd in him in coming to this House
and begd of him he would give me leave to go away and accordingly began to put
on my Gloves and prepare to be gone tho at the same time I no more intended
it than he intended to let me
Well he importund me not to talk of going he assured me he was very far
from offering any such thing to me that was dishonourable and if I thought so
he would chuse to say no more of it
That part I did not relish at all I told him I was ready to hear
anything that he had to say depending that he would say nothing unworthy of
himself or unfit for me to hear upon this he told me his Proposal was this
That I would marry him tho he had not yet obtaind the Divorce from the Whore
his Wife and to satisfy me that he meant honourably he would promise not to
desire me to live with him or go to Bed to him till the Divorce was obtaind
My Heart said Yes to this Offer at first Word but it was necessary to play the
Hypocrite a little more with him so I seemd to decline the Motion with some
warmth as unfair told him that such a Proposal could be of no Signification
but to entangle us both in great Difficulties for if he should not at last
obtain the Divorce yet we could not dissolve the Marriage neither could we
proceed in it so that if he was disappointed in the Divorce I left him to
consider what a Condition we should both be in
In short I carried on the Argument against this so far that I convincd
him it was not a Proposal that had any Sense in it then he went from it to
another viz that I would Sign and Seal a Contract with him Conditioning to
marry him as soon as the Divorce was obtaind and to be void if he could not
get it
I told him that was more Rational than the other but as this was the first
time that ever I could imagine him weak enough to be in earnest I did not use
to say Yes at first asking I would consider of it I plaid with this Lover as
an Angler does with a Trout I found I had him fast on the Hook so I jested
with his new Proposal and put him off I told him he knew little of me and bad
him enquire about me I let him also go Home with me to my Lodging tho I would
not ask him to go in for I told him it was not Decent
In short I venturd to avoid Signing a Contract and the Reason why I did
it was because the Lady that had Invited me to go with her into Lancashire
insisted so possitively upon it and promised me such great Fortunes and fine
things there that I was tempted to go and try perhaps said I I may mend my
self very much and then I made no scruple of quitting my honest Citizen whom I
was not so much in Love with as not to leave him for a Richer
In a Word I avoided a Contract but told him I would go into the North
that he would know where to write to me by the Business I had entrusted with
him that I would give him a sufficient Pledge of my Respect for him for I
would leave almost all I had in the World in his Hands and I would thus far
give him my Word that as soon as he had sued out the Divorce if he would send
me an Account of it I would come up to London and that then we would talk
seriously of the Matter
It was a base Design I went with that I must confess tho I was invited
thither with a Design much worse as the Sequel will discover well I went with
my Friend as I calld her into Lancashire all the way we went she caressed me
with the utmost appearance of a sincere undissembled Affection treated me
except my Coachhire all the way and her Brother brought a Gentlemans Coach to
Warrington to receive us and we were carried from thence to Liverpool with as
much Ceremony as I could desire
We were also entertaind at a Merchants House in Liverpool three or four
Days very handsomely I forbear to tell his Name because of what followd then
she told me she would carry me to an Uncles House of hers where we should be
nobly entertaind and her Uncle as she calld him sent a Coach and four
Horses for us and we were carried near forty Miles I know not whither
We came however to a Gentlemans Seat where was a numerous Family a large
Park extraordinary Company indeed and where she was calld Cousin I told her
if she had resolvd to bring me into such Company as this she should have let
me have furnishd my self with better Cloaths the Ladies took Notice of that
and told me very genteely they did not value People in their own Country so
much by their Cloaths as they did in London that their Cousin had fully
informd them of my Quality and that I did not want Cloaths to set me off in
short they entertaind me not like what I was but like what they thought I had
been Namely a Widow Lady of a great Fortune
The first Discovery I made here was that the Family were all Roman
Catholicks and the Cousin too however nobody in the World could behave
better to me and I had all the Civility shown that I could have had if I had
been of their Opinion The Truth is I had not so much Principle of any kind as
to be Nice in Point of Religion and I presently learnd to speak favourably of
the Romish Church particularly I told them I saw little but the Prejudice of
Education in all the Differences that were among Christians about Religion and
if it had so happend that my Father had been a Roman Catholick I doubted not
but I should have been as well pleasd with their Religion as my own
This obliged them in the highest Degree and as I was besiegd Day and Night
with good Company and pleasant Discourse so I had two or three old Ladies that
lay at me upon the Subject of Religion too I was so Complaisant that I made no
scruple to be present at their Mass and to conform to all their Gestures as
they shewd me the Pattern but I would not come too cheap so that I only in
the main encouraged them to expect that I would turn Roman Catholick if I was
instructed in the Catholick Doctrine as they calld it and so the matter
rested
I slayd here about six Weeks and then my Conductor led me back to a
Country Village about six Miles from Liverpool where her Brother as she
calld him came to visit me in his own Charriot with two Footmen in a good
Livery and the next thing was to make Love to me As it happend to me one
would think I could not have been cheated and indeed I thought so my self
having a safe Card at Home which I resolvd not to quit unless I could mend my
self very much However in all appearance this Brother was a Match worth my
listning to and the least his Estate was valud at was a 1000l a Year but
the Sister said it was worth 1500l a Year and lay most of it in Ireland
I that was a great Fortune and passd for such was above being askd how
much my Estate was and my false Friend taking it upon a foolish hearsay had
raisd it from 500l to 5000l and by the time she came into the Country she
calld it 15000l The Irishman for such I understood him to be was stark Mad
at this Bait In short he courted me made me Presents and run in Debt like a
mad Man for the Expences of his Courtship He had to give him his due the
Appearance of an extraordinary fine Gentleman he was tall wellshapd and had
an extraordinary Address talkd as naturally of his Park and his Stables or
his Horses his Gamekeepers his Woods his Tenants and his Servants as if he
had been in a Mansion house and I had seen them all about me
He never so much as askd me about my Fortune or Estate but assurd me that
when we came to Dublin he would Joynture me in 600l a Year in good Land and
that he would enter into a Deed of Settlement or Contract here for the
Performance of it
This was such Language indeed as I had not been usd to and I was here
beaten out of all my Measures I had a she Devil in my Bosom every Hour telling
me how great her Brother livd One time she would come for my Orders how I
would have my Coach painted and how lind and another time what Cloaths my
Page should wear In short my Eyes were dazled I had now lost my Power of
saying NO and to cut the Story short I consented to be Married but to be more
private we were carried farther into the Country and married by a Priest which
I was assurd would marry us as effectually as a Church of England Parson
I cannot say but I had some Reflections in this Affair upon the
dishonourable forsaking my faithful Citizen who lovd me sincerely and who was
endeavouring to quit himself of a scandalous Whore by whom he had been
barbarously usd and promisd himself infinite Happiness in his new Choice
which Choice was now giving up her self to another in a Manner almost as
Scandalous as hers could be
But the glittering show of a great Estate and of fine Things which the
deceived Creature that was now my Deceiver represented every Hour to my
Imagination hurried me away and gave me no time to think of London or of any
thing there much less of the Obligation I had to a Person of infinitely more
real Merit than what was now before me
But the thing was done I was now in the Arms of my new Spouse who appeard
still the same as before great even to Magnificence and nothing less than a
Thousand Pounds a Year could support the Ordinary Equipage he appeard in
After we had been married about a Month he began to talk of my going to
Westchester in order to embark for Ireland However he did not hurry me for we
stayd near three Weeks longer and then he sent to Chester for a Coach to meet
us at the BlackRock as they call it over against Liverpool Thither we went
in a fine Boat they call a Pinnace with six Oars his Servants and Horses and
Baggage going in a FerryBoat He made his Excuse to me that he had not
Acquaintance at Chester but he would go before and get some handsome Appartment
for me at a private House I askd him how long we should stay at Chester he
said not at all any longer than one Night or two but he would immediately hire
a Coach to go to Holyhead then I told him he should by no Means give himself
the trouble to get private Lodgings for one Night or two for that Chester being
a great Place I made no doubt but there would be very good Inns and
Accommodation enough so we lodgd at an Inn not far from the Cathedral I
forgot what Sign it was at
Here my Spouse talking of my going to Ireland askd me if I had no Affairs
to settle at London before we went off I told him No not of any great
Consequence but what might be done as well by Letter from Dublin Madam says
he very respectfully I suppose the greatest part of your Estate which my
Sister tells me is most of it in Money in the Bank of England lies secure
enough but in case it requird Transferring or any way altering its Property
it might be necessary to go up to London and settle those Things before we went
over
I seemd to look strange at it and told him I knew not what he meant that
I had no Effects in the Bank of England that I knew of and I hope he could not
say that I had ever told him I had No he said I had not told him so but his
Sister had said the greatest part of my Estate lay there and I only mentiond
it my Dear said he that if there was any Occasion to settle it or order any
thing about it we might not be obligd to the hazard and trouble of another
Voyage back again for he added that he did not care to venture me too much
upon the Sea
I was surprisd at this talk and began to consider what the meaning of it
must be and it presently occurrd to me that my Friend who calld him Brother
had represented me in Colours which were not my due and I thought that I would
know the bottom of it before I went out of England and before I should put my
self into I knew not whose Hands in a strange Country
Upon this I calld his Sister into my Chamber the next Morning and letting
her know the Discourse her Brother and I had been upon I conjurd her to tell
me what she had said to him and upon what Foot it was that she had made this
Marriage She ownd that she had told him that I was a great Fortune and said
that she was told so at London Told so says I warmly did I ever tell you so
No she said it was true I never did tell her so but I had said several times
that what I had was in my own disposal I did so returnd I very quick but I
never told you I had anything calld a Fortune No that I had one Hundred
Pounds or the Value of an Hundred Pounds in the World and how did it consist
with my being a Fortune said I that I should come here into the North of
England with you only upon the Account of living cheap At these Words which I
spoke warm and high my Husband came into the Room and I desird him to come in
and sit down for I had something of Moment to say before them both which it
was absolutely necessary he should hear
He lookd a little disturbd at the Assurance with which I seemd to speak
it and came and sat down by me having first shut the Door upon which I began
for I was very much provokd and turning my self to him I am afraid says I
my Dear for I spoke with kindness on his side that you have a very great Abuse
put upon you and an Injury done you never to be repaird in your marrying me
which however as I have had no Hand in it I desire I may be fairly acquited of
it and that the Blame may lye where it ought and no where else for I wash my
Hands of every part of it
What Injury can be done me my Dear says he in marrying you I hope it is
to my Honour and Advantage every way I will soon explain it to you says I and
I fear there will be no Reason to think yourself well usd but I will convince
you my Dear says I again that I have had no Hand in it
He lookd now scard and wild and began I believed to suspect what
followd however looking towards me and saying only go on he sat silent as
if to hear what I had more to say so I went on I askd you last Night said I
speaking to him if ever I made any boast to you of my Estate or ever told you
I had any Estate in the Bank of England or any where else and you ownd I had
not as is most true and I desire you will tell me here before your Sister if
ever I gave you any Reason from me to think so or that ever we had any
Discourse about it and he ownd again I had not but said I had appeared
always as a Woman of Fortune and he depended on it that I was so and hoped he
was not deceived I am not enquiring whether you have been deceived said I I
fear you have and I too but I am clearing my self from being concernd in
deceiving you
I have been now asking your Sister if ever I told her of any Fortune or
Estate I had or gave her any Particulars of it and she owns I never did And
pray Madam said I be so just to me to charge me if you can if ever I
pretended to you that I had an Estate and why if I had should I ever come down
into this Country with you on purpose to spare that little I had and live
cheap She could not deny one Word but said she had been told in London that I
had a very great Fortune and that it lay in the Bank of England
And now Dear Sir said I turning my self to my new Spouse again be so
just to me as to tell me who has abusd both you and me so much as to make you
believe I was a Fortune and prompt you to court me to this Marriage He could
not speak a Word but pointed to her and after some more pause flew out in the
most furious Passion that ever I saw a Man in my Life cursing her and calling
her all the Whores and hard Names he could think of and that she had ruind
him declaring that she had told him I had Fifteen Thousand Pounds and that she
was to have Five Hundred Pounds of him for procuring this Match for him He then
added directing his Speech to me that she was none of his Sister but had been
his Whore for two Years before that she had had One Hundred Pounds of him in
part of this Bargain and that he was utterly undone if things were as I said
and in his raving he swore he would let her Hearts Blood out immediately which
frightened her and me too she cried said she had been told so in the House
where I lodgd but this aggravated him more than before that she should put so
far upon him and run things such a length upon no other Authority than a
hearsay and then turning to me again said very honestly he was afraid we
were both undone for to be plain my dear I have no Estate says he what
little I had this Devil has made me run out in putting me into this Equipage
she took the Opportunity of his being earnest in talking with me and got out of
the Room and I never saw her more
I was confounded now as much as he and knew not what to say I thought many
ways that I had the worst of it but his saying he was undone and that he had
no Estate neither put me into a meer Distraction why says I to him this has
been a hellish Juggle for we are married here upon the Foot of a double Fraud
you are undone by the Disappointment it seems and if I had had a Fortune I had
been cheated too for you say you have nothing
You would indeed have been cheated my Dear says he but you would not have
been undone for Fifteen Thousand Pounds would have maintaind us both very
handsomely in this Country and I had resolvd to have dedicated every Groat of
it to you I would not have wrongd you of a Shilling and the rest I would have
made up in my Affection to you and Tenderness of you as long as I livd
This was very honest indeed and I really believe he spoke as he intended
and that he was a Man that was as well qualified to make me happy as to his
Temper and Behaviour as any Man ever was but his having no Estate and being
run into Debt on this ridiculous Account in the Country made all the Prospect
dismal and dreadful and I knew not what to say or what to think
I told him it was very unhappy that so much Love and so much good Nature
as I discovered in him should be thus precipitated into Misery that I saw
nothing before us but Ruin for as to me it was my unhappiness that what
little I had was not able to relieve us a Week and with that I pulld out a
Bank Bill of 20l and Eleven Guineas which I told him I had saved out of my
little Income and that by the Account that Creature had given me of the way of
living in that Country I expected it would maintain me three or four Years
that if it was taken from me I was left destitute and he knew what the
Condition of a Woman must be if she had no Money in her Pocket however I told
him if he would take it there it was
He told me with great concern and I thought I saw Tears in his Eyes that
he would not touch it that he abhord the Thoughts of striping me and making
me Miserable that he had Fifty Guineas left which was all he had in the World
and he pulld it out and threw it down on the Table bidding me take it tho he
were to Starve for want of it
I returned with the same concern for him that I could not bear to hear him
talk so that on the contrary if he could propose any probable Method of
living I would do any thing that became me and that I would live as narrow as
he could desire
He begd of me to talk no more at that rate for it would make him
Distracted he said he was bred a Gentleman tho he was reducd to a low
Fortune and that there was but one way left which he could think of and that
would not do unless I coud answer him one Question which however he said he
would not press me to I told him I would answer it honestly whether it would
be to his Satisfaction or no that I could not tell
Why then my Dear tell me plainly says he will the little you have keep
us together in any Figure or in any Station or Place or will it not
It was my Happiness that I had not discoverd my self or my Circumstances
at all No not so much as my Name and seeing there was nothing to be expected
from him however good humourd and however honest he seemd to be but to live
on what I knew would soon be wasted I resolvd to conceal every thing but the
BankBill and Eleven Guineas and I would have been very glad to have lost
that and have been set down where he took me up I had indeed another BankBill
about me of 30l which was the whole of what I brought with me as well to
subsist on in the Country as not knowing what might offer because this
Creature the gobetween that had thus betrayd us both had made me believe
strange things of marrying to my Advantage and I was not willing to be without
Money whatever might happen This Bill I conceald and that made me the freer
of the rest in Consideration of his Circumstances for I really pitied him
heartily
But to return to this Question I told him I never willingly deceivd him
and I never would I was very sorry to tell him that the little I had would not
subsist us that it was not sufficient to subsist me alone in the South Country
and that this was the Reason that made me put my self into the Hands of that
Woman who calld him Brother she having assured me that I might board very
handsomely at a Town calld Manchester where I had not yet been for about six
Pounds a Year and my whole Income not being above 15l a Year I thought I
might live easy upon it and wait for better things
He shook his Head and remaind silent and a very melancholly Evening we
had however we suppd together and lay together that Night and when we had
almost suppd he lookd a little better and more chearful and calld for a
Bottle of Wine Come my Dear says he tho the Case is bad it is to no Purpose
to be dejected Come be as easy as you can I will endeavour to find out some
way or other to live if you can but subsist your self that is better than
nothing I must try the World again a Man ought to think like a Man To be
discouraged is to yield to the Misfortune with this he filld a Glass and
drank to me holding my Hand all the while the Wine went down and protesting
his main concern was for me
It was really a true gallant Spirit he was of and it was the more Grievous
to me Tis something of Relief even to be undone by a man of Honour rather
than by a Scoundrel but here the greatest Disappointment was on his side for
he had really spent a great deal of Money and it was very remarkable on what
poor Terms she proceeded first the baseness of the Creature herself is to be
observd who for the getting One Hundred Pounds herself could be content to
let him spend Three or Four more tho perhaps it was all he had in the World
and more than all when she had not the least Ground more than a little
TeaTable Chat to say that I had any Estate or was a Fortune or the like It
is true the design of deluding a Woman of Fortune if I had been so was base
enough the putting the Face of great Things upon poor Circumstances was a
Fraud and bad enough but the Case a little differd too and that in his
Favour for he was not a Rake that made a Trade to delude Women and as some
have done get six or seven Fortunes after one another and then rifle and run
away from them but he was already a Gentleman unfortunate and low but had
livd well and tho if I had had a Fortune I should have been enragd at the
Slut for betraying me yet really for the Man a Fortune would not have been ill
bestowd on him for he was a lovely Person indeed of generous Principles good
Sense and of abundance of good Humour
We had a great deal of close Conversation that Night for we neither of us
slept much he was as Penitent for having put all those Cheats upon me as if
it had been Fellony and that he was going to Execution he offered me again
every Shilling of the Money he had about him and said he would go into the
Army and seek for more
I askd him why he would be so unkind to carry me into Ireland when I might
suppose he could not have subsisted me there He took me in his Arms My Dear
said he I never designd to go to Ireland at all much less to have carried you
thither but came hither to be out of the Observation of the People who had
heard what I pretended to and that no Body might ask me for Money before I was
furnishd to supply them
But where then said I were we to have gone next
Why my Dear said he Ill confess the whole Scheme to you as I had laid
it I purposed here to ask you something about your Estate as you see I did
and when you as I expected you would had enterd into some Account of the
Particulars I would have made an Excuse to have put off our Voyage to Ireland
for some time and so have gone for London
Then my Dear says he I resolvd to have confessd all the Circumstances of
my own Affairs to you and let you know I had indeed made use of these Artifices
to obtain your Consent to marry me but had now nothing to do but to ask your
Pardon and to tell you how abundantly I would endeavour to make you forget what
was past by the Felicity of the Days to come
Truly said I to him I find you would soon have conquerd me and it is my
Affliction now that I am not in a Condition to let you see how easily I should
have been reconcild to you and have passd by all the Tricks you had put upon
me in Recompence of so much good Humour but my Dear said I what can we do
now We are both undone and what better are we for our being reconcild seeing
we have nothing to live on
We proposd a great many things but nothing could offer where there was
nothing to begin with He begd me at last to talk no more of it for he said I
would break his Heart so we talkd of other things a little till at last he
took a Husbands leave of me and so went to Sleep
He rose before me in the Morning and indeed having lain awake almost all
Night I was very sleepy and lay till near Eleven oClock in this time he took
his Horses and three Servants and all his Linnen and Baggage and away he
went leaving a short but moving Letter for me on the Table as follows
My Dear
I am a Dog I have abusd you but I have been drawn in to do it by
a base Creature contrary to my Principle and the general Practice of
my Life Forgive me my Dear I ask you Pardon with the greatest
Sincerity I am the most miserable of Men in having deluded you I have
been so happy to Possess you and am now so wretched as to be forcd to
fly from you Forgive me myDear once more I say forgive me I am not
able to see you ruind by me and my self unable to support you Our
Marriage is nothing I shall never be able to see you again I here
discharge you from it if you can marry to your Advantage do not decline
it on my Account I here swear to you on my Faith and on the Word of a
Man of Honour I will never disturb your Repose if I should know of it
which however is not likely On the other hand if you should not marry
and if good Fortune should befall me it shall be all yours where ever
you are
I have put some of the Stock of Money I have left into your Pocket
take Places for your self and your Maid in the Stage Coach and go for
London I hope it will bear your Charges thither without breaking into
your own Again I sincerely ask your Pardon and will do so as often as
I shall ever think of you
Adieu my Dear for ever
I am yours most Affectionately
JE
Nothing that ever befel me in my Life sunk so deep into my Heart as this
Farewel I reproachd him a Thousand times in my Thoughts for leaving me for I
would have gone with him thro the World if I had begd my Bread I felt in my
Pocket and there I found ten Guineas his Gold Watch and two little Rings one
a small Diamond Ring worth only about Six Pound and the other a plain Gold
Ring
I sat down and lookd upon these Things two Hours together and scarce spoke
a Word till my Maid interrupted me by telling me my Dinner was ready I eat
but little and after Dinner I fell into a violent Fit of Crying every now and
then calling him by his Name which was James O Jemy said I come back come
back Ill give you all I have Ill beg Ill starve with you And thus I run
Raving about the Room several times and then sat down between whiles and then
walking about again calld upon him to come back and then cryd again and
thus I passd the Afternoon till about seven oClock when it was near Dusk in
the Evening being August when to my unspeakable Surprise he comes back into
the Inn and comes directly up into my Chamber
I was in the greatest Confusion imaginable and so was he too I could not
imagine what should be the Occasion of it and began to be at odds with my self
whether to be glad or sorry but my Affection byassd all the rest and it was
impossible to conceal my Joy which was too great for Smiles for it burst out
into Tears He was no sooner enterd the Room but he run to me and took me in
his Arms holding me fast and almost stopping my Breath with his Kisses but
spoke not a Word at length I began my Dear said I How could you go away from
me To which he gave no Answer for it was impossible for him to speak
When our Extasies were a little over he told me he was gone above 15 Miles
but it was not in his Power to go any farther without coming back to see me
again and to take his leave of me once more
I told him how I had passd my time and how loud I had calld him to come
back again he told me he heard me very plain upon Delamere Forest at a Place
about 12 Miles off I smild Nay says he Do not think I am in Jest for if
ever I heard your Voice in my Life I heard you call me aloud and sometimes I
thought I saw you running after me Why said I what did I say for I had not
namd the Words to him you calld aloud says he and said O Jemy O Jemy
come back come back
I laughd at him my Dear says he do not Laugh for depend upon it I
heard your Voice as plain as you hear mine now if you please Ill go before a
Magistrate and make Oath of it I then began to be amazd and surprizd and
indeed frighted and told him what I had really done and how I had calld after
him as above When we had amusd ourselves a while about this I said to him
well you shall go away from me no more Ill go all over the World with you
rather He told me it would be a very difficult thing for him to leave me but
since it must be he hoped I would make it as easy to me as I could but as for
him it would be his Destruction that he foresaw
However he told me that he had considerd he had left me to Travel to London
alone which was a long Journey and that as he might as well go that way as
any way else he was resolvd to see me thither or near it and if he did go
away then without taking his leave I should not take it ill of him and this he
made me promise
He told me how he had dismissd his three Servants sold their Horses and
sent the Fellows away to seek their Fortunes and all in a little time at a
Town on the Road I know not where and says he it cost me some Tears all
alone by my self to think how much happier they were than their Master for
they could go to the next Gentlemans House to see for a Service whereas said
he I knew not whither to go or what to do with my self
I told him I was so compleatly miserable in parting with him that I could
not be worse and that now he was come again I would not go from him if he
would take me with him let him go whither he would and in the mean time I
agreed that we would go together to London but I could not be brought to
consent he should go away at last and not take his leave of me but told him
Jesting that if he did I would call him back again as loud as I did before
Then I pulld out his Watch and gave it him back and his two Rings and his Ten
Guineas but he would not take them which made me very much suspect that he
resolvd to go off upon the Road and leave me
The truth is the Circumstances he was in the passionate Expressions of his
Letter the kind Gentlemanly Treatment I had from him in all the Affair with
the Concern he showd for me in it his manner of Parting with that large Share
which he gave me of his little Stock left all these had joind to make such
Impressions on me that I could not bear the Thoughts of parting with him
Two Days after this we quitted Chester I in the Stage Coach and he on
Horseback I dismissd my Maid at Chester he was very much against my being
without a Maid but she being hired in the Country keeping no Servant at London
I told him it would have been barbarous to have taken the poor Wench and have
turnd her away as soon as I came to Town and it would also have been a
needless Charge on the Road so I satisfyd him and he was easy on that Score
He came with me as far as Dunstable within 30 Miles of London and then he
told me Fate and his own Misfortunes obligd him to leave me and that it was
not Convenient for him to go to London for Reasons which it was of no value to
me to know and I saw him preparing to go The Stage Coach we were in did not
usually stop at Dunstable but I desiring it for a Quarter of an Hour they were
content to stand at an InnDoor a while and we went into the House
Being in the Inn I told him I had but one Favour more to ask him and that
was that since he could not go any farther he would give me leave to stay a
Week or two in the Town with him that we might in that time think of something
to prevent such a ruinous thing to us both as a final Separation would be and
that I had something of Moment to offer to him which perhaps he might find
Practicable to our Advantage
This was too reasonable a Proposal to be denied so he calld the Landlady
of the House and told her his Wife was taken ill and so ill that she coud
not think of going any farther in the Stage Coach which had tird her almost to
Death and askd if she coud not get us a Lodging for two or three Days in a
private House where I might rest me a little for the Journey had been too much
for me The Landlady a good sort of a Woman well bred and very obliging came
immediately to see me told me she had two or three very good Rooms in a part
of the House quite out of the Noise and if I saw them she did not doubt but I
would like them and I should have one of her Maids that should do nothing else
but wait on me this was so very kind that I could not but accept of it so I
went to look on the Rooms and likd them very well and indeed they were
extraordinarily Furnishd and very pleasant Lodgings so we paid the Stage
Coach took out our Baggage and resolvd to slay here a while
Here I told him I would live with him now till all my Money was spent but
would not let him spend a Shilling of his own We had some kind squabble about
that but I told him it was the last time I was like to enjoy his Company and I
desird he would let me be Master in that thing only and he should govern in
every thing else so he acquiescd
Here one Evening taking a Walk into the Fields I told him I would now make
the Proposal to him I had told him of accordingly I related to him how I had
livd in Virginia that I had a Mother I believd was alive there still tho
my Husband was dead some Years I told him that had not my Effects miscarryd
which by the way I magnifyd pretty much I might have been Fortune good enough
to him to have kept us from being parted in this manner Then I enterd into the
manner of Peoples settling in those Countries how they had a quantity of Land
given them by the Constitution of the Place and if not that it might be
purchased at so easy a Rate that it was not worth naming
I then gave him a full and distinct account of the nature of Planting how
with carrying over but two or three Hundred Pounds value in English Goods with
some Servants and Tools a Man of Application woud presently lay a Foundation
for a Family and in a few Years would raise an Estate
I let him into the nature of the Product of the Earth how the Ground was
Curd and Prepard and what the usual Increase of it was and demonstrated to
him that in a very few Years with such a Beginning we should be as certain of
being Rich as we were now certain of being Poor
He was surprizd at my Discourse for we made it the whole Subject of our
Conversation for near a Week together in which time I laid it down in black and
white as we say, that it was morally impossible with a supposition of any
reasonable good Conduct but that we must thrive there and do very well
Then I told him what measures I would take to raise such a Sum as 300l or
thereabouts and I argued with him how good a Method it would be to put an end
to our Misfortunes and restore our Circumstances in the World to what we had
both expected and I added that after seven Years we might be in a Posture to
leave our Plantation in good Hands and come over again and receive the Income
of it and live here and enjoy it and I gave him Examples of some that had done
so and livd now in very good Figure in London
In short I pressd him so to it that he almost agreed to it but still
something or other broke it off till at last he turnd the Tables and began to
talk almost to the same purpose of Ireland
He told me that a Man that could confine himself to a Country Life and that
coud but find Stock to enter upon any Land should have Farms there for 50l a
Year as good as were let here for 200l a Year that the Produce was such and
so Rich the Land that if much was not laid up we were sure to live as
handsomely upon it as a Gentleman of 3000l a Year could do in England and that
he had laid a Scheme to leave me in London and go over and try and if he found
he could lay a handsome Foundation of living suitable to the Respect he had for
me as he doubted not he should do he would come over and fetch me
I was dreadfully afraid that upon such a Proposal he would have taken me at
my Word viz to turn my little Income into Money and let him carry it over
into Ireland and try his Experiment with it but he was too just to desire it
or to have accepted it if I had offerd it and he anticipated me in that for
he added that he would go and try his Fortune that way and if he found he
coud do any thing at it to live then by adding mine to it when I went over we
should live like our selves but that he would not hazard a Shilling of mine
till he had made the Experiment with a little and he assurd me that if he
found nothing to be done in Ireland he would then come to me and join in my
Project for Virginia
He was so earnest upon his Project being to be tryd first that I coud not
withstand him however he promisd to let me hear from him in a very little
time after his arriving there to let me know whether his prospect answerd his
Design that if there was not a probability of Success I might take the
Occasion to prepare for our other Voyage and then he assurd me he would go
with me to America with all his Heart
I could bring him to nothing farther than this and which entertaind us
near a Month during which I enjoyd his Company which was the most
entertaining that ever I met with in my life before In this time he let me into
part of the Story of his own Life which was indeed surprizing and full of an
infinite Variety sufficient to fill up a much brighter History for its
Adventures and Incidents than any I ever saw in Print But I shall have
occasion to say more of him hereafter
We parted at last tho with the utmost reluctance on my side and indeed he
took his leave very unwillingly too but Necessity obligd him for his Reasons
were very good why he would not come to London as I understood more fully
afterwards
I gave him a Direction how to write to me tho still I reservd the grand
Secret which was not to let him ever know my true Name who I was or where to
be found he likewise let me know how to write a Letter to him so that he said
he would be sure to receive it
I came to London the next Day after we parted but did not go directly to my
old Lodgings but for another nameless Reason took a private Lodging in St
Johnsstreet or as it is vulgarly calld St Joness near Clarkenwell and
here being perfectly alone I had leisure to sit down and reflect seriously upon
the last seven Months Ramble I had made for I had been abroad no less the
pleasant Hours I had with my last Husband I lookd back on with an infinite deal
of Pleasure but that Pleasure was very much lessend when I found some time
after that I was really with Child
This was a perplexing thing because of the Difficulty which was before me
where I should get leave to LyeIn it being one of the nicest things in the
World at that time of Day for a Woman that was a Stranger and had no Friends
to be entertaind in that Circumstance without Security which I had not
neither could I procure any
I had taken care all this while to preserve a Correspondence with my Friend
at the Bank or rather he took care to Correspond with me for he wrote to me
once a Week and tho I had not spent my Money so fast as to want any from him
yet I often wrote also to let him know I was alive I had left Directions in
Lancashire so that I had these Letters conveyd to me and during my Recess at
St Joness I received a very obliging Letter from him assuring me that his
Process for a Divorce went on with Success tho he met with some Difficulties
in it that he did not expect
I was not displeasd with the News that his Process was more tedious than
he expected for tho I was in no condition to have had him yet not being so
foolish to marry him when I knew my self to be with Child by another Man as
some I know have venturd to do yet I was not willing to lose him and in a
word resolvd to have him if he continud in the same mind as soon as I was up
again for I saw apparently I should hear no more from my other Husband and as
he had all along pressd me to Marry and had assurd me he would not be at all
disgusted at it or ever offer to claim me again so I made no scruple to
resolve to do it if I could and if my other Friend stood to his Bargain and I
had a great deal of Reason to be assurd that he would by the Letters he wrote
to me which were the kindest and most obliging that could be
I now grew Big and the people where I lodgd perceivd it and began to
take notice of it to me and as far as Civility would allow intimated that I
must think of removing this put me to extreme perplexity and I grew very
melancholly for indeed I knew not what Course to take I had Money but no
Friends and was like now to have a Child upon my Hands to keep which was a
difficulty I had never had upon me yet as my Story hitherto makes appear
In the course of this Affair I fell very ill and my Melancholly really
encreasd my Distemper my Illness provd at length to be only an Ague but my
Apprehensions were really that I should Miscarry I should not say
Apprehensions for indeed I would have been glad to miscarry but I coud never
entertain so much as a thought of taking any thing to make me Miscarry I
abhorrd I say so much as the thought of it
However speaking of it the Gentlewoman who kept the House proposd to me
to send for a Midwife I scrupled it at first but after some time consented
but told her I had no Acquaintance with any Midwife and so left it to her
It seems the Mistress of the House was not so great a Stranger to such Cases
as mine was as I thought at first she had been as will appear presently and
she sent for a Midwife of the right sort that is to say the right sort for me
The Woman appeard to be an experienced Woman in her Business I mean as a
Midwife but she had another Calling too in which she was as expert as most
Women if not more My Landlady had told her I was very Melancholly and that
she believd that had done me harm and once before me said to her Mrs B
I believe this Ladys Trouble is of a kind that is pretty much in your way
and therefore if you can do anything for her pray do for she is a very civil
Gentlewoman and so she went out of the Room
I really did not understand her but my Mother Midnight began very seriously
to explain what she meant as soon as she was gone Madam says she you seem
not to understand what your Landlady means and when you do you need not let
her know at all that you do so
She means that you are under some Circumstances that may render your
LyingIn difficult to you and that you are not willing to be exposd I need
say no more but to tell you that if you think fit to communicate so much of
your Case to me as is necessary for I do not desire to pry into those things
I perhaps may be in a Condition to assist you and to make you easy and remove
all your dull Thoughts upon that Subject
Every word this Creature said was a Cordial to me and put new Life and new
Spirit into my very Heart my Blood began to circulate immediately and I was
quite another Body I eat my Victuals again and grew better presently after it
She said a great deal more to the same purpose and then having pressd me to be
free with her and promisd in the solemnest manner to be secret she stopd a
little as if waiting to see what Impression it made on me and what I would
say
I was too sensible of the want I was in of such a Woman not to accept her
Offer I told her my Case was partly as she guessd and partly not for I was
really married and had a Husband tho he was so remote at that time as that
he coud not appear publickly
She took me short and told me that was none of her Business all the
Ladies that came under her Care were married Women to her every Woman says she
that is with Child has a Father for it and whether that Father was a Husband
or no Husband was no Business of hers her Business was to assist me in my
present Circumstances whether I had a Husband or no for Madam says she to
have a Husband that cannot appear is to have no Husband and therefore whether
you are a Wife or a Mistress is all one to me
I found presently that whether I was a Whore or a Wife I was to pass for a
Whore here so I let that go I told her it was true as she said but that
however if I must tell her my Case I must tell it her as it was So I related
it as a short as I could and I concluded it to her I trouble you with this
Madam said I not that as you said before it is much to the purpose in your
affair but this is to the purpose Namely that I am not in any pain about
being seen or being conceald for tis perfectly indifferent to me but my
difficulty is that I have no Acquaintance in this part of the Nation
I understand you Madam says she you have no Security to bring to prevent
the Parish Impertinences usual in such Cases and perhaps says she do not know
very well how to dispose of the Child when it comes the last says I is not so
much my Concern as the first Well Madam answers the Midwife dare you put
your self into my Hands I live in such a place tho I do not enquire after
you you may enquire after me my Name is B I live in such a Street naming
the Street at the Sign of the Cradle my Profession is a Midwife and I have
many Ladies that come to my House to LyeIn I have given Security to the Parish
in General to secure them from any Charge from what shall come into the World
under my Roof I have but one Question to ask in the whole Affair Madam says
she and if that be answerd you shall be entirely easy of the rest
I presently understood what she meant and told her Madam I believe I
understand you I thank God tho I want Friends in this Part of the World I do
not want Money so far as may be Necessary tho I do not abound in that neither
This I added because I would not make her expect great things well Madam
says she that is the thing indeed without which nothing can be done in these
Cases and yet says she you shall see that I will not impose upon you or
offer anything that is unkind to you and you shall know every thing before
hand that you may suit yourself to the Occasion and be either costly or
sparing as you see fit
I told her she seemd to be so perfectly sensible of my Condition that I
had nothing to ask of her but this that as I had Money sufficient but not a
great Quantity she would order it so that I might be at as little superfluous
Charge as possible
She replyd that she should bring in an Account of the Expences of it in
two or three Shapes I should chuse as I pleasd and I desird her to do so
The next Day she brought it and the Copy of her three Bills was as follows
l s d
1 For three Months Lodging in her House including my Dyet at 10s a Week
06 00 0
2 For a Nurse for the Month and Use of Childbed Linnen
01 10 0
3 For a Minister to Christen the Child and to the Godfathers and Clark
01 10 0
4 For a Supper at the Christening if I had five Friends at it
01 00 0
For her Fees as a Midwife and the taking off the Trouble of the Parish
03 03 0
To her Maid Servant attending
00 10 0
13 13 0
This was the first Bill the Second was in the same Terms
l s d
1 For three Months Lodging and Dyet ampc at 20s per Week
12 00 0
2 For a Nurse for the Month and the Use of Linnen and Lace
02 10 0
3 For the Minister to Christen the Child ampc as above
02 00 0
4 For a Supper and for Sweatmeats
03 03 0
For her Fees as above
05 05 0
For a ServantMaid
01 00 0
26 18 0
This was the second rate Bill the third she said was for a degree Higher and
when the Father or Friends appeared
l s d
1 For three Months Lodging and Diet having two Rooms and a Garret for a
Servant
30 00 0
2 For a Nurse for the Month and the finest Suit of Childbed Linnen
04 04 0
3 For the Minister to Christen the Child
02 10 0
4 For a Supper the Gentleman to send in the Wine
06 00 0
For my Fees ampc
10 10 0
The Maid besides their own Maid only
00 10 0
53 14 0
I lookd upon all the three Bills and smild and told her I did not see but
that she was very reasonable in her Demands and things considerd and I did
not doubt but her Accommodations were good
She told me I should be a Judge of that when I saw them I told her I was
sorry to tell her that I feard I must be her lowest rated Customer and perhaps
Madam said I you will make me the less Wellcome upon that Account No not at
all said she for where I have One of the third Sort I have Two of the Second
and Four of the First and I get as much by them in Proportion as by any but
if you doubt my Care of you I will allow any Friend you have to see if you are
well waited on or no
Then she explaind the Particulars of her Bill in the first Place Madam
said she I would have you observe that here is three Months keeping you at but
10s a Week I undertake to say you will not complain of my Table I suppose
says she you do not live Cheaper where you are now No indeed said I nor so
Cheap for I give six Shillings per Week for my Chamber and find my own Dyet
which costs me a great deal more
Then Madam says she if the Child should not live as it sometimes happens
there is the Ministers Article saved and if you have no Friends to come you
may save the Expence of a Supper so that take those Articles out Madam says
she your LyingIn will not cost you above 5l 3s more than your ordinary
Charge of Living
This was the most reasonable thing that I ever heard of so I smild and
told her I would come and be a Customer but I told her also that as I had two
Months and more to go I might perhaps be obliged to stay longer with her than
three Months and desird to know if she would not be obligd to remove me
before it was proper No she said her House was large and besides she never
put any Body to remove that had LainIn till they were willing to go and if
she had more Ladies offerd she was not so ill belovd among her Neighbours
but she could provide Accommodation for Twenty if there was Occasion
I found she was an eminent Lady in her way and in short I agreed to put my
self into her Hands She then talkd of other things lookd about into my
Accommodations where I was found fault with my wanting Attendance and
Conveniences and that I should not be usd so at her House I told her I was
shy of speaking for the Woman of the House lookd stranger or at least I
thought so since I had been Ill because I was with Child and I was afraid she
would put some Affront or other upon me supposing that I had been able to give
but a slight Account of my self
O dear says she her Ladyship is no stranger to these things she has tryd
to entertain Ladies in your Condition but could not secure the Parish and
besides such a nice Lady as you take her to be however since you are agoing
you shall not meddle with her but Ill see you are a little better lookd after
while you are here and it shall not cost you the more neither
I did not understand her however I thankd her so we parted the next
Morning she sent me a Chicken roasted and hot and a Bottle of Sherry and
ordered the Maid to tell me that she was to wait on me every Day as long as I
staid there
This was surprizingly good and kind and I accepted it very willingly At
Night she sent to me again to know if I wanted any thing and to order the Maid
to come to her in the Morning for Dinner the Maid had Orders to make me some
Chocolate in the Morning before she came away and at Noon she brought me the
Sweetbread of a Breast of Veal whole and a Dish of Soup for my Dinner and
after this manner she nursd me up at a distance so that I was mightily well
pleased and quickly well for indeed my Dejections before were the principal
Part of my Illness
I expected as is usually the Case among such People that the Servant she
sent me would have been some impudent brazen Wench of Drury Lane Breeding and I
was very uneasy upon that Account so I would not let her lye in the House the
first Night but had my Eyes about me as narrowly as if she had been a publick
Thief
My Gentlewoman guessd presently what was the matter and sent her back with
a short Note that I might depend upon the honesty of her Maid that she would
be answerable for her upon all Accounts and that she took no Servants without
very good Security I was then perfectly easy and indeed the Maids Behaviour
spoke for it self for a modester quieter soberer Girl never came into any
Bodys Family and I found her so afterwards
As soon as I was well enough to go Abroad I went with the Maid to see the
House and to see the Appartment I was to have and every thing was so handsome
and so clean that in short I had nothing to say but was wonderfully pleased
with what I had met with which considering the melancholly Circumstances I was
in was beyond what I looked for
It might be expected that I should give some Account of the Nature of the
wicked Practices of this Woman in whose Hands I was now fallen but it would be
but too much Encouragement to the Vice to let the World see what easy Measures
were here taken to rid the Womens Burthen of a Child clandestinely gotten This
grave Matron had several Sorts of Practice and this was one that if a Child
was born tho not in her House for she had the Occasion to be calld to many
private Labours she had People always ready who for a Piece of Money would
take the Child off their Hands and off from the Hands of the Parish too and
those Children as she said were honestly taken Care of What should become of
them all considering so many as by her Account she was concernd with I
cannot conceive
I had many times Discourses upon that Subject with her but she was full of
this Argument that she savd the Life of many an Innocent Lamb as she calld
them which would perhaps have been Murderd and of many a Woman who made
Desperate by the Misfortune would otherwise be tempted to Destroy their
Children I granted her that this was true and a very commendable thing
provided the poor Children fell into good Hands afterwards and were not abusd
and neglected by the Nurses she answered that she always took care of that
and had no Nurses in her Business but what were very Good People and such as
might be depended upon
I could say nothing to the contrary and so was obligd to say Madam I do
not question but you do your Part but what those People do is the main Question
and she stopd my Mouth again with saying she took the utmost care about it
The only thing I found in all her Conversation on these Subjects that gave
me any distaste was that one time in Discoursing about my being so far gone
with Child she said something that lookd as if she could help me off with my
Burthen sooner if I was willing or in English that she could give me
something to make me Miscarry if I had a desire to put an end to my Troubles
that way but I soon let her see that I abhord the Thoughts of it and to do
her Justice she put it off so cleverly that I could not say she really
intended it or whether she only mentioned the Practice as a horrible thing for
she couchd her Words so well and took my Meaning so quickly that she gave her
Negative before I could explain my self
To bring this part into as narrow a Compass as possible I quited my Lodging
at St Joness and went to my new Governess for so they calld her in the
House and there I was indeed treated with so much Courtesy so carefully lookd
to and every thing so well that I was surprisd at it and could not at first
see what Advantage my Governess made of it but I found afterwards that she
professd to make no Profit of the Lodgers Dyet nor indeed coud she get much
by it but that her Profit lay in the other Articles of her Management and she
made enough that way I assure you for tis scarce credible what Practice she
had as well Abroad as at Home and yet all upon the private Account or in
plain English the Whoring Account
While I was in her House which was near four Months she had no less than
twelve Ladies of Pleasure brought to Bed within Doors and I think she had two
and thirty or thereabouts under her Conduct without Doors whereof one as nice
as she was with me was lodgd with my old Landlady at St Joness
This was a strange Testimony of the growing Vice of the Age and as bad as I
had been my self it shockd my very Senses I began to nauceate the place I was
in and above all the Practice and yet I must say that I never saw or do I
believe there was to be seen the least indecency in the House the whole time I
was there
Not a Man was ever seen to come up Stairs except to Visit the LyingIn
Ladies within their Month nor then without the old Lady with them who made it
a piece of the Honour of her Management that no Man should touch a Woman No
not his own Wife within the Month nor would she permit any Man to lye in the
House upon any pretence whatever No not tho it was with his own Wife and her
saying for it was that she card not how many Children was born in her House
but she would have none got there if she could help it
It might perhaps be carried farther than was needful but it was an Error of
the Right Hand if it was an Error for by this she kept up the Reputation such
as it was of her Business and obtaind this Character that tho she did take
Care of the Women when they were debauchd yet she was not Instrumental to
their being debauchd at all and yet it was a wicked Trade she drove too
While I was here and before I was brought to Bed I receivd a Letter from
my Trustee at the Bank full of kind obliging things and earnestly pressing me
to return to London It was near a Fortnight old when it came to me because it
had first been sent into Lancashire and then returnd to me he concludes with
telling me that he had obtaind a Decree against his Wife and that he would be
ready to make good his Engagement to me if I would accept of him adding a
great many Protestations of Kindness and Affection such as he would have been
far from offering if he had known the Circumstances I had been in and which as
it was I had been very far from deserving
I returnd an Answer to this Letter and dated it at Liverpool but sent it
by a Messenger alledging that it came in cover to a Friend in Town I gave him
Joy of his Deliverance but raisd some Scruples at the Lawfulness of his
Marrying again and told him I supposd he would consider very seriously upon
that Point before he resolvd on it the Consequence being too great for a Man
of his Judgment to venture rashly upon so concluded wishing him very well in
whatever he resolvd without letting him into any thing of my own Mind or
giving any Answer to his Proposal of my coming to London to him but mentiond
at a distance my Intention to return the latter end of the Year this being
dated in April
I was brought to Bed about the middle of May and had another brave Boy and
my self in as good Condition as usual on such Occasions My Governess did her
part as a Midwife with the greatest Art and Dexterity imaginable and far beyond
all that ever I had had any Experience of before
Her Care of me in my Travail and after in my LyingIn was such that if
she had been my own Mother it could not have been better let none be encouraged
in their loose Practices from this Dexterous Ladys Management for she is gone
to her place and I dare say has left nothing behind her that can or will come
up to it
I think I had been brought to Bed about twenty Days when I receivd another
Letter from my Friend at the Bank with the surprising News that he had obtaind
a final Sentence of Divorce against his Wife and had servd her with it on such
a Day and that he had such an Answer to give to all my Scruples about his
Marrying again as I could not expect and as he had no Desire of for that his
Wife who had been under some Remorse before for her usage of him as soon as
she heard that he had gaind his Point had very unhappily destroyd herself
that same Evening
He expressd himself very handsomly as to his being concernd at her
Disaster but cleard himself of having any hand in it and that he had only
done himself Justice in a Case in which he was notoriously Injurd and Abusd
However he said that he was extremely afflicted at it and had no view of any
Satisfaction left in this World but only in the hope that I would come and
relieve him by my Company and then he pressd me violently indeed to give him
some hopes that I would at least come up to Town and let him see me when he
would farther enter into Discourse about it
I was exceedingly surprizd at the News and began now seriously to reflect
on my Circumstances and the inexpressible Misfortune it was to have a Child
upon my Hands and what to do in it I knew not at last I opend my Case at a
distance to my Governess I appeard melancholy for several Days and she lay at
me continually to know what troubled me I could not for my Life tell her that I
had an offer of Marriage after I had so often told her that I had a Husband so
that I really knew not what to say to her I ownd I had something which very
much troubld me but at the same time told her I coud not speak of it to any
one alive
She continued importuning me several Days but it was impossible I told her
for me to commit the Secret to any Body This instead of being an Answer to
her encreasd her Importunities she urgd her having been trusted with the
greatest Secrets of this Nature that it was her business to Conceal every
thing and that to Discover things of that Nature would be her Ruin she askd
me if ever I had found her Tatling of other Peoples Affairs and how could I
suspect her she told me to unfold myself to her was telling it to no Body
that she was silent as Death that it must be a very strange Case indeed that
she could not help me out of but to conceal it was to deprive myself of all
possible Help or means of Help and to deprive her of the Opportunity of
Serving me In short she had such a bewitching Eloquence and so great a power
of Perswasion that there was no concealing any thing from her
So I resolvd to unbosom myself to her I told her the History of my
Lancashire Marriage and how both of us had been Disappointed how we came
together and how we parted How he Dischargd me as far as lay in him and
gave me free Liberty to Marry again protesting that if he knew it he would
never Claim me or Disturb or Expose me that I thought I was free but was
dreadfully afraid to venture for fear of the Consequences that might follow in
case of a Discovery
Then I told her what a good Offer I had showd her my Friends Letters
inviting me to London and with what Affection they were written but blotted
out the Name and also the Story about the Disaster of his Wife only that she
was dead
She fell a Laughing at my scruples about marrying and told me the other was
no Marriage but a Cheat on both Sides and that as we were parted by mutual
Consent the nature of the Contract was destroyd and the Obligation was
mutually dischargd She had Arguments for this at the tip of her Tongue and in
short reasond me out of my Reason not but that it was too by the help of my
own Inclination
But then came the great and main Difficulty and that was the Child this
she told me must be removd and that so as that it should never be possible
for any one to discover it I knew there was no Marrying without concealing that
I had had a Child for he would soon have discoverd by the Age of it that it
was born nay and gotten too since my Parly with him and that would have
destroyd all the Affair
But it touchd my Heart so forcibly to think of Parting entirely with the
Child and for ought I knew of having it murtherd or starvd by Neglect and
Illusage which was much the same that I could not think of it without
Horror I wish all those Women who consent to the disposing their Children out
of the way as it is calld for Decency sake would consider that tis only a
contrivd Method for Murther that is to say killing their Children with
safety
It is manifest to all that understand any thing of Children that we are
born into the World helpless and uncapable either to supply our own Wants or
so much as make them known and that without help we must Perish and this help
requires not only an assisting Hand whether of the Mother or some body else
but there are two Things necessary in that assisting Hand that is Care and
Skill without both which half the Children that are born would die nay tho
they were not to be denyd Food and one half more of those that remaind would
be Cripples or Fools loose their Limbs and perhaps their Sense I Question
not but that these are partly the Reasons why Affection was placd by Nature in
the Hearts of Mothers to their Children without which they would never be able
to give themselves up as tis necessary they should to the Care and waking
Pains needful to the Support of Children
Since this Care is needful to the Life of Children to neglect them is to
Murther them again to give them up to be Managd by those People who have
none of that needful Affection placd by Nature in them is to Neglect them in
the highest Degree nay in some it goes farther and is in order to their being
Lost so that tis an intentional Murther whether the Child lives or dies
All those things represented themselves to my View and that in the blackest
and most frightful Form and as I was very free with my Governess who I had now
learnd to call Mother I represented to her all the dark Thoughts which I had
about it and told her what distress I was in She seemd graver by much at this
Part than at the other but as she was hardend in these things beyond all
possibility of being touchd with the Religious part and the Scruples about the
Murther so she was equally impenetrable in that Part which related to
Affection She askd me if she had not been Careful and Tender of me in my
LyingInn as if I had been her own Child I told her I ownd she had Well my
Dear says she and when you are gone what are you to me and what would it be
to me if you were to be Hangd Do you think there are not Women who as it is
their Trade and they get their Bread by it value themselves upon their being
as careful of Children as their own Mothers Yes yes Child says she fear it
not How were we Nursd ourselves Are you sure you was Nursd up by your own
Mother and yet you look fat and fair Child says the old Beldam and with
that she stroakd me over the face never be concernd Child says she going
on in her drolling way I have no Murtherers about me I employ the best Nurses
that can be had and have as few Children miscarry under their Hands as there
would if they were all Nursd by Mothers we want neither Care nor Skill
She touchd me to the Quick when she askd if I was sure that I was nursd
by my own Mother on the Contrary I was sure I was not and I trembled and
lookd Pale at the very Expression sure said I to my self this Creature
cannot be a Witch or have any Conversation with a Spirit that can inform her
what I was before I was able to know it my self and I lookd at her as if I
had been frighted but reflecting that it could not be possible for her to know
any Thing about me that went off and I began to be easy but it was not
presently
She perceivd the Disorder I was in but did not know the Meaning of it so
she run on in her wild Talk upon the Weakness of my supposing that Children
were murderd because they were not all nursd by the Mother and to perswade me
that the Children she disposed of were as well used as if the Mothers had the
Nursing of them themselves
It may be true Mother says I for ought I know but my Doubts are very
strongly grounded come then says she lets hear some of them Why first says
I you give a Piece of Money to these People to take the Child off the Parents
Hands and to take Care of it as long as it lives now we know Mother said I
that those are poor People and their Gain consists in being quit of the Charge
as soon as they can how can I doubt but that as it is best for them to have
the Child die they are not over Solicitous about its Life
This is all Vapours and Fancy says she I tell you their Credit depends
upon the Childs Life and they are as careful as any Mother of you all
O Mother says I if I was but sure my little Baby would be carefully lookd
to and have Justice done it I should be happy but it is impossible I can be
satisfyd in that Point unless I saw it and to see it would be Ruin and
Destruction as my Case now stands so what to do I know not
A fine Story says the Governess you would see the Child and you would not
see the Child you would be conceald and discoverd both together these are
things impossible my Dear and so you must een do as other conscientious
Mothers have done before you and be contented with things as they must be tho
not as you wish them to be
I understood what she meant by conscientious Mothers she would have said
conscientious Whores but she was not willing to disoblige me for really in
this Case I was not a Whore because legally Marryd the Force of my former
Marriage excepted
However let me be what I would I was not come up to that pitch of
Hardness common to the Profession I mean to be unnatural and regardless of
the Safety of my Child and I preservd this honest Affection so long that I
was upon the Point of giving up my Friend at the Bank who lay so hard at me to
come to him and Marry him that there was hardly any Room to deny him
At last my old Governess came to me with her usual Assurance Come my Dear
says she I have found out a way how you shall be at a Certainty that your
Child shall be used well and yet the People that take Care of it shall never
know you
O Mother say I If you can do so you will engage me to you for ever Well
says she are you willing to be at some small Annual Expence more than what we
usually give to the People we contract with Ay says I with all my Heart
provided I may be concealed as to that says she you shall be secure For the
Nurse shall never dare to Enquire about you and you shall once or twice a Year
go with me and see your Child and see how tis used and be satisfyd that it
is in good Hands no Body knowing who you are
Why said I do you think that when I come to see my Child I shall be able
to conceal my being the Mother of it do you think that possible
Well says she if you discover it the Nurse shall be never the Wiser She
shall be forbid to take any Notice if she offers it she shall lose the Money
which you are to be supposd to give her and the Child be taken from her too
I was very well pleasd with this so the next Week a Country Woman was
brought from Hertford or thereabouts who was to take the Child off our Hands
entirely for 10l in Money but if I would allow 5l a Year more to her she
would be obligd to bring the Child to my Governesses House as often as we
desird or we should come down and look at it and see how well she used it
The Woman was a very wholesomelookd likely Woman a Cottagers Wife but
she had very good Cloaths and Linnen and every thing well about her and with a
heavy Heart and many a Tear I let her have my Child I had been down at
Hertford and lookd at her and at her Dwelling which I likd well enough and
I promised her great Things if she would be kind to the Child so she knew at
first Word that I was the Childs Mother but she seemd to be so much out of
the Way and to have no Room to enquire after me that I thought I was safe
enough so in short I consented to let her have the Child and I gave her 10l
that is to say I gave it to my Governess who gave it the poor Woman before my
Face she agreeing never to return the Child back to me or to clame any Thing
more for its Keeping or Bringing up only that I promised if she took a great
deal of Care of it I would give her some thing more as often as I came to see
it so that I was not bound to pay the 5l only that I promisd my Governess I
would do it And thus my great Care was over after a manner which tho it did
not at all satisfy my Mind yet was the most convenient for me as my Affairs
then stood of any that could be thought of at that Time
I then began to write to my Friend at the Bank in a more kindly Style and
particularly about the Beginning of July I sent him a Letter that I purposd to
be in Town sometime in August he returnd me an Answer in the most passionate
Terms imaginable and desird me to let him have timely Notice and he would
come and meet me two Days Journey This puzzld me scurvily and I did not know
what Answer to make to it once I was resolvd to take the Stage Coach to West
Chester on Purpose only to have the Satisfaction of coming back that he might
see me really come in the same Coach for I had a jealous Thought tho I had no
Ground for it at all least he should think I was not really in the Country
I endeavourd to Reason my self out of it but it was in vain the
Impression lay so strong on my Mind that it was not to be resisted at last it
came as an Addition to my new Design of going into the Country that it would be
an excellent Blind to my old Governess and would cover entirely all my other
Affairs for she did not know in the least whether my new Lover livd in London
or in Lancashire and when I told her my Resolution she was fully perswaded
it was in Lancashire
Having taken my Measures for this Journey I let her know it and sent the
Maid that tended me from the Beginning to take a Place for me in the Coach she
would have had me let the Maid have waited on me down to the last Stage and
come up again in the Waggon but I convincd her it would not be convenient
when I went away she told me she would enter into no Measures for
Correspondence for she saw evidently that my affection to my Child would cause
me to write to her and to Visit her too when I came to Town again I assurd
her it would and so took my Leave well satisfyd to have been freed from such
a House however good my Accommodations there had been
I took the Place in the Coach not to its full Extent but to a place called
Stone in Cheshire where I not only had no manner of Business but not the
least Acquaintance with any Person in the Town But I knew that with Money in
the Pocket one is at Home any where so I lodgd there two or three Days till
watching my Opportunity I found Room in another Stage Coach and took Passage
back again for London sending a Letter to my Gentleman that I should be such a
certain Day at StonyStratford where the Coachman told me he was to Lodge
It happend to be a Chance Coach that I had taken up which having been
hired on Purpose to carry some Gentlemen to WestChester who were going for
Ireland was now returning and did not tye it self up to exact Times or Places
as the Stages did so that having been obligd to lye still on Sunday he had
Time to get himself ready to come out which otherwise he could not have done
His Warning was so short that he could not reach StonyStratford time
enough to be with me at Night but he met me at a Place called Brickill the next
Morning just as we were coming into the Town
I confess I was very glad to see him for I thought my self a little
disappointed over Night He pleasd me doubly too by the Figure he came in for
he brought a very handsome Gentlemans Coach and four Horses with a Servant
to attend him
He took me out of the Stage Coach immediately which stopd at an Inn in
Brickill and putting into the same Inn he set up his own Coach and bespoke
his Dinner I askd him what he meant by that for I was for going forward with
the Journey he said no I had need of a little Rest upon the Road and that
was a very good sort of a House tho it was but a little Town so we would go
no farther that Night what ever came of it
I did not press him much for since he had come so far to meet me and put
himself to so much Expence it was but reasonable I should oblige him a little
too so I was easy as to that Point
After Dinner we walkd to see the Town to see the Church and to view the
Fields and the Country as is usual for Strangers to do and our Landlord was
our Guide in going to see the Church I observd my Gentleman enquird pretty
much about the Parson and I took the hint immediately that he certainly would
propose to be married and it followd presently that in short I would not
refuse him for to be plain with my Circumstances I was in no condition now to
say NO I had no reason now to run any more such hazards
But while these Thoughts run round in my Head which was the work but of a
few Moments I observd my Landlord took him aside and whisperd to him tho
not very softly neither for so much I overheard Sir if you shall have
occasion the rest I could not hear but it seems it was to this purpose
Sir if you shall have occasion for a Minister I have a Friend a little way off
that will serve you and be as private as you please my Gentleman answerd loud
enough for me to hear very well I believe I shall
I was no sooner come back to the Inn but he fell upon me with irresistible
Words that since he had had the good Fortune to meet me and everything
concurrd it would be hastening his Felicity if I would put an end to the
matter just there what do you mean says I colouring a little what in an Inn
and on the Road Bless us all said I how can you talk so O I can talk so very
well says he I came on purpose to talk so and Ill show you that I did and
with that he pulls out a great Bundle of Papers you fright me said I what are
all these dont be frighted my Dear said he and kissd me this was the
first time that he had been so free to call me my Dear then he repeated it
dont be frighted you shall see what it is all then he laid them all abroad
there was first the Deed or Sentence of Divorce from his Wife and the full
Evidence of her playing the Whore then there was the Certificates of the
Minister and Churchwardens of the Parish where she livd proving that she was
buried and intimating the manner of her Death the Copy of the Coroners
Warrant for a Jury to sit upon her and the verdict of the Jury who brought it
in Non Compos Mentis all this was to give me Satisfaction tho by the way I
was not so scrupulous had he known all but that I might have taken him without
it However I lookd them all over as well as I coud and told him that this
was all very clear indeed but that he need not have brought them out with him
for it was time enough Well he said it might be time enough for me but no
time but the present time was time enough for him
There were other Papers rolld up and I askd him what they were Why Ay
says he thats the Question I wanted to have you ask me so he takes out a
little Chagreen Case and gives me out of it a very fine Diamond Ring I could
not refuse it if I had a mind to do so for he put it upon my Finger so I only
made him a Curtsy then he takes out another Ring and this says he is for
another Occasion and puts that into his Pocket Well but let me see it tho
says I and smild I guess what it is I think you are Mad I should have been
Mad if I had done less says he and still he did not show it me and I had a
great mind to see it so I says well but let me see it hold says he first
look here then he took up the Roll again and read it and behold it was a
License for us to be married Why says I are you Distracted you were fully
satisfyd sure that I would yield at first Word or resolvd to take no denial
the last is certainly the Case said he but you may be mistaken said I no
no says he I must not be denied I cant be denied and with that he fell to
kissing me so violently I could not get rid of him
There was a Bed in the Room and we were walking to and again eager in the
Discourse at last he takes me by surprize in his Arms and threw me on the Bed
and himself with me and holding me still fast in his Arms but without the
least offer of any Undecency Courted me to Consent with such repeated
Entreaties and Arguments protesting his Affection and vowing he would not let
me go till I had promised him that at last I said why you resolve not to be
denyd indeed I think No no says he I must not be denyd I wont be
denyd I cant be denyd Well well said I and giving him a slight Kiss
then you shant be denyd let me get up
He was so Transported with my Consent and the kind manner of it that I
began to think Once he took it for a Marriage and would not stay for the Form
but I wrongd him for he took me by the Hand pulld me up again and then
giving me two or three Kisses thankd me for my kind yielding to him and was
so overcome with the Satisfaction of it that I saw Tears stand in his Eyes
I turned from him for it filld my Eyes with Tears too and askd him leave
to retire a little to my Chamber If I had a Grain of true Repentance for an
abominable Life of 24 Years past it was then Oh what a felicity is it to
Mankind said I to myself that they cannot see into the Hearts of one another
How happy had it been if I had been Wife to a Man of so much Honesty and so
much Affection from the Beginning
Then it occurrd to me what an abominable Creature am I and how is this
innocent Gentleman going to be abusd by me How little does he think that
having Divorcd a Whore he is throwing himself into the Arms of another that
he is going to Marry one that has lain with two Brothers and has had three
Children by her own Brother one that was born in Newgate whose Mother was a
Whore and is now a transported Thief one that has lain with thirteen Men and
has had a Child since he saw me poor Gentleman said I What he is going to do
After this reproaching myself was over it followed thus Well if I must be his
Wife if it please God to give me Grace Ill be a true Wife to him and love
him suitably to the strange Excess of his Passion for me I will make him
amends by what he shall see for the Abuses I put upon him which he does not
see
He was impatient for my coming out of my Chamber but finding me long he
went down Stairs and talkd with my Landlord about the Parson
My Landlord an Officious tho wellmeaning Fellow had sent away for the
Clergy Man and when my Gentleman began to speak to him of sending for him
Sir says he to him my Friend is in the House so without any more words he
brought them together When he came to the Minister he askd him if he would
venture to marry a couple of Strangers that were both willing The Parson said
that Mr had said something to him of it that he hopd it was no
Clandestine Business that he seemd to be a grave Gentleman and he supposd
Madam was not a Girl so that the consent of Friends should be wanted to put
you out of doubt of that says my Gentleman read this Paper and out he pulls
the License I am satisfyd says the Minister where is the Lady you shall see
her presently says my Gentleman
When he had said thus he comes up stairs and I was by that time come out
of my Room so he tells me the Minister was below and that upon showing him the
License he was free to marry us with all his Heart but he asks to see you so
he askd if I would let him come up
Tis time enough said I in the Morning is it not Why said he my Dear
he seemd to scruple whether it was not some young Girl stolen from her Parents
and I assurd him we were both of Age to command our own Consent and that made
him ask to see you well said I do as you please so up they brings the
Parson and a merry good sort of Gentleman he was he had been told it seems
that we had met there by accident that I came in a Chester Coach and my
Gentleman in his own Coach to meet me that we were to have met last Night at
StonyStratford but that he could not reach so far Well Sir says the Parson
every ill turn has some good in it the Disappointment Sir says he to my
Gentleman was yours and the good Turn is mine for if you had met at
StonyStratford I had not had the Honour to Marry you LANDLORD have you a
Common Prayer Book
I started as if I had been frighted Sir says I what do you mean what to
marry in an Inn and at Night too Madam says the Minister if you will have it
be in the Church you shall but I assure you your Marriage will be as firm here
as in the Church we are not tyed by the Canons to Marry no where but in the
Church and as for the time of Day it does not at all weigh in this Case our
Princes are married in their Chambers and at Eight or Ten a Clock at Night
I was a great while before I could be perswaded and pretended not to be
willing at all to be married but in the Church but it was all Grimace so I
seemd at last to be prevaild on and my Landlord and his Wife and Daughter
were calld up My Landlord was Father and Clark and all together and we were
married and very Merry we were tho I confess the selfreproaches which I had
upon me before lay close to me and extorted every now and then a deep sigh
from me which my Bridegroom took notice of and endeavourd to encourage me
thinking poor Man that I had some little hesitations at the Step I had taken
so hastily
We enjoyd our selves that Evening compleatly and yet all was kept so
private in the Inn that not a Servant in the House knew of it for my Landlady
and her Daughter waited on me and would not let any of the Maids come up
stairs My Landladys Daughter I calld my Bride Maid and sending for a
Shopkeeper the next Morning I gave the young Woman a good Suit of Knots as
good as the Town would afford and finding it was a Lacemaking Town I gave her
Mother a Piece of Bonelace for a Head
One Reason that my Landlord was so close was that he was unwilling the
Minister of the Parish should hear of it but for all that somebody heard of it
so as that we had the Bells set a Ringing the next Morning early and the
Musick such as the Town would afford under our Window but my Landlord
brazend it out that we were marryd before we came thither only that being
his former Guests we would have our WeddingSupper at his House
We could not find in our Hearts to stir the next day for in short having
been disturbd by the Bells in the Morning and having perhaps not slept over
much before we were so sleepy afterwards that we lay in Bed till almost Twelve
a Clock
I begd my Landlady that we might have no more Musick in the Town nor
ringing of Bells and she managd it so well that we were very quiet But an odd
Passage interrupted all my Mirth for a good while the great Room of the House
lookd into the Street and I had walkd to the End of the Room and it being a
pleasant warm Day I had opend the Window and was standing at it for some Air
when I saw three Gentlemen ride by and go into an Inn just against us
It was not to be conceald nor did it leave me any Room to question it but
the second of the three was my Lancashire Husband I was frighted to Death I
never was in such a Consternation in my Life I thought I should have sunk into
the Ground my Blood run chill in my Veins and I trembld as if I had been in a
cold fit of an Ague I say there was no room to question the Truth of it I
knew his Cloaths I knew his Horse and I knew his Face
The first Reflection I made was that my Husband was not by to see my
Disorder and that I was very glad of The Gentlemen had not been long in the
House but they came to the Window of their Room as is usual but my Window was
shut you may be sure However I could not keep from peeping at them and there
I saw him again heard him call to one of the Servants for something he wanted
and receivd all the terrifying Confirmations of its being the same Person that
were possible to be had
My next concern was to know what was his Business there but that was
impossible sometimes my Imagination formd an Idea of one frightful thing
sometimes of another sometimes I thought he had discoverd me and was come to
upbraid me with Ingratitude and Breach of Honour then I fancied he was coming
up Stairs to insult me and innumerable Thoughts came into my Head of what was
never in his Head nor ever could be unless the Devil had reveald it to him
I remaind in the Fright near two Hours and scarce ever kept my Eye from
the Window or Door of the Inn where they were At last hearing a great clutter
in the Passage of their Inn I run to the Window and to my great Satisfaction
I saw them all three go out again and travel on Westward had they gone towards
London I should have been still in a Fright least I should meet him again and
that he should know me but he went the contrary way and so I was easd of that
Disorder
We resolvd to be going the next Day but about six a Clock at Night we were
alarmd with a great Uproar in the Street and People riding as if they had been
out of their Wits and what was it but a Hue and Cry after three Highway Men
that had robd two Coaches and some Travellers near Dunstable Hill and notice
had it seems been given that they had been seen at Brickill at such a House
meaning the House where those Gentlemen had been
The House was immediately beset and searchd but there were witnesses
enough that the Gentlemen had been gone above three Hours the Crowd having
gathered about we had the News presently and I was heartily concernd now
another way I presently told the People of the House that I durst say those
were honest Persons for that I knew one of the Gentlemen to be a very honest
Person and of a good Estate in Lancashire
The Constable who came with the Hue and Cry was immediately informd of
this and came over to me to be satisfyd from my own Mouth and I assurd him
that I saw the three Gentlemen as I was at the Window that I saw them
afterwards at the Windows of the Room they dind in that I saw them take Horse
and I would assure him I knew one of them to be such a Man that he was a
Gentleman of a very good Estate and an undoubted Character in Lancashire from
whence I was just now upon my Journey
The assurance with which I deliverd this gave the Mob Gentry a Check and
gave the Constable such Satisfaction that he immediately sounded a Retreat
told his People these were not the Men but that he had an account they were
very honest Gentlemen and so they went all back again what the Truth of the
matter was I knew not but certain it was that the Coaches were robd at
Dunstable Hill and 560l in Money taken besides some of the Lace Merchants
that always Travel that way had been visited too as to the three Gentlemen
that remains to be explaind hereafter
Well this Allarm stopd us another Day tho my Spouse told me it was
always safest Travelling after a Robbery for that the Thieves were sure to be
gone far enough off when they had allarmd the Country but I was uneasy and
indeed principally least my old Acquaintance should be upon the Road still and
should chance to see me
I never livd four pleasanter Days together in my life I was a meer Bride
all this while and my new Spouse strove to make me easie in every thing O
could this State of Life have continud how had all my past Troubles been
forgot and my future Sorrows been avoided but I had a past life of a most
wretched kind to account for some of it in this World as well as in another
We came away the fifth Day and my Landlord because he saw me uneasie
mounted himself his Son and three honest Country Fellows with good FireArms
and without telling us of it followd the Coach and would see us safe into
Dunstable we could do no less than treat them very handsomely at Dunstable
which Cost my Spouse about Ten or Twelve Shillings and something he gave the
Men for their Time too but my Landlord would take nothing for himself
This was the most happy Contrivance for me that could have fallen out for
had I come to London unmarried I must either have come to him for the first
Nights Entertainment or have discovered to him that I had not one Acquaintance
in the whole City of London that could receive a poor Bride for the first
Nights Lodging with her Spouse But now I made no scruple of going directly
home with him and there I took Possession at once of a House well Furnished
and a Husband in very good Circumstances so that I had a prospect of a very
happy Life if I knew how to manage it and I had leisure to consider of the
real Value of the Life I was likely to live how different it was to be from the
loose part I had acted before and how much happier a Life of Virtue and
Sobriety is than that which we call a Life of Pleasure
O had this particular Scene of Life lasted or had I learnt from that time I
enjoyd it to have tasted the true sweetness of it and had I not fallen into
that Poverty which is the sure Bane of Virtue how happy had I been not only
here but perhaps for ever for while I livd thus I was really a Penitent for
all my Life passd I lookd back on it with Abhorrence and might truly be said
to hate my self for it I often reflected how my Lover at Bath strook by the
Hand of God repented and abandond me and refusd to see me any more tho he
lovd me to an extreme but I prompted by that worst of Devils Poverty
returnd to the vile Practice and made the Advantage of what they call a
handsome Face be the Relief to my Necessities and Beauty be a Pimp to Vice
Now I seemd landed in a safe Harbour after the Stormy Voyage of Life past
was at an end and I began to be thankful for my Deliverance I sat many an Hour
by my self and wept over the Remembrance of past Follies and the dreadful
Extravagances of a wicked Life and sometimes I flatterd my self that I had
sincerely repented
But there are Temptations which it is not in the Power of Human Nature to
resist and few know what would be their Case if driven to the same Exigences
As Covetousness is the Root of all Evil so Poverty is the worst of all Snares
But I wave that Discourse till I come to the Experiment
I livd with this Husband in the utmost Tranquility hewasa Quiet Sensible
Soberman Virtuous Modest Sincere and in his Business Diligent and Just His
Business was in a narrow Compass and his Income sufficient to a plentiful way
of Living in the ordinary way I do not say to keep an Equipage and make a
Figure as the World calls it nor did I expect it or desire it for as I
abhorred the Levity and Extravagance of my former Life so I chose now to live
retird frugal and within ourselves I kept no Company made no Visits minded
my Family and obliged my Husband and this kind of Life became a Pleasure to
me
We livd in an uninterrupted course of Ease and Content for five Years when
a sudden Blow from an almost invisible Hand blasted all my happiness and
turnd me out into the World in a Condition the reverse of all that had been
before it
My Husband having trusted one of his Fellow Clarks with a Sum of Money too
much for our Fortunes to bear the Loss of the Clark faild and the Loss fell
very heavy on my Husband yet it was not so great but that if he had had
Courage to have lookd his Misfortunes in the Face his Credit was so good that
as I told him he would easily recover it for to sink under Trouble is to
double the Weight and he that will Die in it shall Die in it
It was in vain to speak comfortably to him the Wound had sunk too deep it
was a Stab that touchd the Vitals he grew Melancholy and Disconsolate and
from thence Lethargick and died I foresaw the Blow and was extremely
oppressd in my Mind for I saw evidently that if he died I was undone
I had had two Children by him and no more for it began to be time for me to
leave bearing Children for I was now Eight and Forty and I suppose if he had
livd I should have had no more
I was now left in a dismal and disconsolate Case indeed and in several
things worse than ever First it was past the flourishing time with me when I
might expect to be courted for a Mistress that agreeable part had declind some
time and the Ruins only appeard of what had been and that which was worse
than all was this that I was the most dejected disconsolate Creature alive I
that had encouragd my Husband and endeavourd to support his Spirits under his
Trouble could not support my own I wanted that Spirit in trouble which I told
him was so necessary for bearing the burthen
But my Case was indeed Deplorable for I was left perfectly Friendless and
Helpless and the Loss my Husband had sustaind had reducd his Circumstances so
low that tho indeed I was not in Debt yet I could easily foresee that what
was left would not support me long that it wasted daily for Subsistence so
that it would be soon all spent and then I saw nothing before me but the utmost
Distress and this represented it self so lively to my Thoughts that it seemd
as if it was come before it was really very near also my very Apprehensions
doubld the Misery for I fancied every Sixpence that I paid for a Loaf of
Bread was the last I had in the World and that Tomorrow I was to fast and be
starvd to Death
In this Distress I had no Assistant no Friend to comfort or advise me I
sat and cried and tormented myself Night and Day wringing my Hands and
sometimes raving like a distracted Woman and indeed I have often wonderd it
had not affected my Reason for I had the Vapours to such a degree that my
Understanding was sometimes quite lost in Fancies and Imaginations
I livd two Years in this dismal Condition wasting that little I had
weeping continually over my dismal Circumstances and as it were only bleeding
to Death without the least hope or prospect of help and now I had cried so
long and so often that Tears were exhausted and I began to be Desperate for
I grew poor apace
For a little Relief I had put off my House and took Lodgings and as I was
reducing my Living so I sold off most of my Goods which put a little Money in
my Pocket and I livd near a Year upon that spending very sparingly and
eeking things out to the utmost but still when I lookd before me my Heart
would sink within me at the inevitable approach of Misery and Want O let none
read this part without seriously reflecting on the Circumstances of a desolate
State and how they would grapple with want of Friends and want of Bread it
will certainly make them think not of sparing what they have only but of
looking up to Heaven for support and of the wise Mans Prayer Give me not
Poverty least I steal
Let em remember that a time of Distress is a time of dreadful Temptation
and all the Strength to resist is taken away Poverty presses the Soul is made
Desperate by Distress and what can be done It was one Evening when being
brought as I may say to the last Gasp I think I may truly say I was
Distracted and Raving when prompted by I know not what Spirit and as it were
doing I did not know what or why I dressd me for I had still pretty good
Cloaths and went out I am very sure I had no manner of Design in my Head when
I went out I neither knew or considerd where to go or on what Business but
as the Devil carried me out and laid his Bait for me so he brought me to be
sure to the place for I knew not whether I was going or what I did
Wandring thus about I knew not whether I passd by an Apothecarys Shop in
Leadenhallstreet where I saw lye on a Stool just before the Compter a little
Bundle wrapt in a white Cloth beyond it stood a Maid Servant with her Back to
it looking up towards the top of the Shop where the Apothecarys Apprentice
as I suppose was standing up on the Compter with his back also to the Door
and a Candle in his Hand looking and reaching up to the upper Shelf for
something he wanted so that both were engagd and no Body else in the Shop
This was the Bait and the Devil who laid the Snare prompted me as if he
had spoke for I remember and shall never forget it twas like a voice Spoken
over my Shoulder take the Bundle be quick do it this Moment it was no sooner
said but I stepd into the Shop and with my Back to the Wench as if I had
stood up for a Cart that was going by I put my Hand behind me and took the
Bundle and went off with it the Maid or Fellow not perceiving me or any one
else
It is impossible to express the Horror of my Soul all the while I did it
When I went away I had no Heart to run or scarce to mend my pace I crossd the
Street indeed and went down the first turning I came to and I think it was a
Street that went thro into Fenchurchstreet from thence I crossed and turnd
thro so many ways and turnings that I could never tell which way it was nor
where I went I felt not the Ground I stept on and the farther I was out of
Danger the faster I went till tyrd and out of Breath I was forcd to sit
down on a little Bench at a Door and then found I was got into Thamesstreet
near Billingsgate I rested me a little and went on my Blood was all in a Fire
my Heart beat as if I was in a sudden Fright In short I was under such a
Surprize that I knew not whether I was a going or what to do
After I had tyrd my self thus with walking a long way about and so
eagerly I began to consider and make home to my Lodging where I came about
Nine a Clock at Night
What the Bundle was made up for or on what Occasion laid where I found it
I knew not but when I came to open it I found there was a Suit of Childbed
Linnen in it very good and almost new the Lace very fine there was a Silver
Porringer of a Pint a small Silver Mug and Six Spoons with some other Linnen
a good Smock and Three Silk Handkerchiefs and in the Mug in a Paper Eighteen
Shillings and Sixpence in Money
All the while I was opening these things I was under such dreadful
Impressions of Fear and in such Terror of Mind tho I was perfectly safe that
I cannot express the manner of it I sat me down and cried most vehemently
Lord said I what am I now a Thief why I shall be taken next time and be
carried to Newgate and be Tryd for my Life and with that I cryd again a long
time and I am sure as poor as I was if I had durst for fear I would
certainly have carried the Things back again but that went off after a while
Well I went to Bed for that Night but slept little the Horror of the Fact was
upon my Mind and I knew not what I said or did all Night and all the next Day
Then I was impatient to hear some News of the Loss and would fain know how it
was whether they were a Poor Bodies Goods or a Rich perhaps said I it may
be some poor Widow like me that had packd up these Goods to go and sell them
for a little Bread for herself and a poor Child and are now starving and
breaking their Hearts for want of that little they would have fetchd and this
Thought tormented me worse than all the rest for three or four Days
But my own Distresses silencd all these Reflections and the prospect of my
own Starving which grew every Day more frightful to me hardend my Heart by
degrees it was then particularly heavy upon my Mind that I had been reformd
and had as I hopd repented of all my passd wickednesses that I had livd a
sober grave retird Life for several Years but now I should be driven by the
dreadful Necessity of my Circumstances to the Gates of Destruction Soul and
Body and two or three times I fell upon my Knees praying to God as well as I
could for Deliverance but I cannot but say my Prayers had no hope in them I
knew not what to do it was all Fear without and Dark within and I reflected
on my passd Life as not repented of that Heaven was now beginning to punish
me and would make me as miserable as I had been wicked
Had I gone on here I had perhaps been a true Penitent but I had an evil
Counsellor within and he was continually prompting me to relieve my self by the
worst means so one Evening he tempted me again by the same wicked Impulse that
had said take that Bundle to go out again and seek for what might happen
I went out now by Daylight and wandred about I knew not whether and in
search of I knew not what when the Devil put a Snare in my way of a dreadful
Nature indeed and such a one as I have never had before or since going thro
Aldersgatestreet there was a pretty little Child had been at a DancingSchool
and was a going home all alone and my Prompter like a true Devil set me upon
this innocent Creature I talkd to it and it prattld to me again and I took
it by the Hand and led it a long till I came to a pavd Alley that goes into
BartholomewClose and I led it in there the Child said that was not its way
home I said yes my Dear it is Ill show you the way home the Child had a
little Necklace on of Gold Beads and I had my Eye upon that and in the dark of
the Alley I stoopd pretending to mend the Childs Clog that was loose and
took off her Necklace and the Child never felt it and so led the Child on
again Here I say the Devil put me upon killing the Child in the dark Alley
that it might not Cry but the very thought frighted me so that I was ready to
drop down but I turnd the Child about and bad it go back again for that was
not its way home the Child said so she would and I went thro into
BartholomewClose and then turnd round to another Passage that goes into
Longlane so away into CharterhouseYard and out into St Johnsstreet then
crossing into Smithfield went down Chicklane and into Fieldlane to
Holbournbridge when mixing with the Crowd of People usually passing there it
was not possible to have been found out and thus I made my second Sally into
the World
The thoughts of this Booty put out all the thoughts of the first and the
Reflections I had made wore quickly off Poverty hardend my Heart and my own
Necessities made me regardless of anything The last Affair left no great
Concern upon me for as I did the poor Child no harm I only thought I had
given the Parents a just Reproof for their Negligence in leaving the poor Lamb
to come home by it self and it would teach them to take more Care another time
This String of Beads was worth about Twelve or Fourteen Pounds I suppose it
might have been formerly the Mothers for it was too big for the Childs wear
but that perhaps the Vanity of the Mother to have her Child look Fine at the
Dancing School had made her let the Child wear it and no doubt the Child had a
Maid sent to take care of it but she like a careless Jade was taken up
perhaps with some Fellow that had met her and so the poor Baby wandred till it
fell into my Hands
However I did the Child no harm I did not so much as fright it for I had
a great many tender Thoughts about me yet and did nothing but what as I may
say meer Necessity drove me to
I had a great many Adventures after this but I was young in the Business
and did not know how to manage otherwise than as the Devil put things into my
Head and indeed he was seldom backward to me One Adventure I had which was
very lucky to me I was going thro Lombard street in the dusk of the Evening
just by the end of Three King Court when on a sudden comes a Fellow running by
me as swift as Lightning and throws a Bundle that was in his Hand just behind
me as I stood up against the corner of the House at the turning into the Alley
just as he threw it in he said God bless you Mistress let it lie there a
little and away he runs After him comes two more and immediately a young
Fellow without his Hat crying stop Thief they persued the two last Fellows so
close that they were forcd to drop what they had got and one of them was
taken into the bargain the other got off free
I stood stock still all this while till they came back dragging the poor
Fellow they had taken and lugging the Things they had found extremely well
satisfied that they had recovered the Booty and taken the Thief and thus they
passd by me for I lookd only like one who stood up while the Crowd was gone
Once or twice I askd what was the matter but the People neglected
answering me and I was not very importunate but after the Crowd was wholly
passd I took my opportunity to turn about and take up what was behind me and
walk away This indeed I did with less Disturbance than I had done formerly for
these things I did not steal but they were stolen to my Hand I got safe to my
Lodgings with this Cargo which was a Peice of fine black Lustring Silk and a
peice of Velvet the latter was but part of a Peice of about 11 Yards the
former was a whole Peice of near 50 Yards it seems it was a Mercers Shop that
they had rifld I say rifled because the Goods were so considerable that they
had Lost for the Goods that they Recoverd were pretty many and I believe came
to about six or seven several Peices of Silk How they came to get so many I
could not tell but as I had only robbd the Thief I made no scruple at taking
these Goods and being very glad of them too
I had pretty good Luck thus far and I made several Adventures more tho
with but small Purchase yet with good Success but I went in daily dread that
some mischief would befal me and that I should certainly come to be hangd at
last The impression this made on me was too strong to be slighted and it kept
me from making attempts that for ought I knew might have been very safely
performd but one thing I cannot omit which was a Bait to me many a Day I
walked frequently out into the Villages round the Town to see if nothing would
fall in my Way there and going by a House near Stepney I saw on the
Windowboard two Rings one a small Diamond Ring and the other a plain Gold
Ring to be sure laid there by some thoughtless Lady that had more Money than
Forecast perhaps only till she washd her Hands
I walkd several times by the Window to observe if I could see whether there
was any Body in the Room or no and I could see no Body but still I was not
sure it came presently into my Thoughts to rap at the Glass as if I wanted to
speak with some Body and if any Body was there they would be sure to come to
the Window and then I would tell them to remove those Rings for that I had
seen two suspicious Fellows take notice of them This was a ready Thought I
rapt once or twice and no Body came when I thrust hard against the Square of
Glass and broke it with little Noise and took out the two Rings and walkd
away the Diamond Ring was worth about 3l and the other about 9s
I was now at a loss for a Market for my Goods and especially for my two
Peices of Silk I was very loth to dispose of them for a Trifle as the poor
unhappy Thieves in general do who after they have venturd their Lives for
perhaps a thing of Value are forcd to sell it for a Song when they have done
but I was resolvd I would not do thus whatever Shift I made however I did
not well know what Course to take At last I resolvd to go to my old Governess
and acquaint my self with her again I had punctually supplyd the 5l a Year to
her for my little Boy as long as I was able but at last was obligd to put a
stop to it However I had written a Letter to her wherein I had told her that
my Circumstances were reducd that I had lost my Husband and that I was not
able to do it any longer and begd the poor Child might not suffer too much for
its Mothers Misfortunes
I now made her a Visit and I found that she drove something of the old
Trade still but that she was not in such flourishing Circumstances as before
for she had been Sued by a certain Gentleman who had had his Daughter stolen
from him and who it seems she had helped to convey away and it was very
narrowly that she escapd the Gallows the Expence also had ravagd her so that
her House was but meanly Furnished and she was not in such repute for her
Practice as before however she stood upon her Legs as they say and as she
was a bustling Woman and had some Stock left she was turnd Pawn Broker and
livd pretty well
She receivd me very civilly and with her usual obliging manner told me
she would not have the less respect for me for my being reducd that she had
taken Care my Boy was very well lookd after tho I could not pay for him and
that the Woman that had him was easie so that I needed not to Trouble my self
about him till I might be better able to do it effectually
I told her I had not much Money left but that I had some things that were
Monies worth if she could tell me how I might turn them into Money she askd
what it was I had I pulld out the string of gold Beads and told her it was
one of my Husbands Presents to me then I showd her the two Parcels of Silk
which I told her I had from Ireland and brought up to Town with me and the
little Diamond Ring as to the small Parcel of Plate and Spoons I had found
means to dispose of them my self before and as for the Childbed Linnen I had
she offerd me to take it her self believing it to have been my own she told
me that she was turnd PawnBroker and that she would sell those things for me
as pawnd to her and so she sent presently for proper Agents that bought them
being in her Hands without any scruple and gave good Prizes too
I now began to think this necessary Woman might help me a little in my low
Condition to some Business for I would gladly have turnd my Hand to any honest
Employment if I could have got it but honest Business did not come within her
reach if I had been younger perhaps she might have helped me but my Thoughts
were off of that kind of Livelihood as being quite out of the way after 50
which was my Case and so I told her
She invited me at last to come and be at her House till I could find
something to do and it should cost me very little and this I gladly accepted
of and now living a little easier I enterd into some Measures to have my
little Son by my last Husband taken off and this she made easie too reserving
a Payment only of 5l a Year if I could pay it This was such a help to me
that for a good while I left off the wicked Trade that I had so newly taken up
and gladly I would have got Work but that was very hard to do for one that had
no Acquaintance
However at last I got some Quilting Work for Ladies Beds Petticoats and
the like and this I likd very well and workd very hard and with this I began
to live but the diligent Devil who resolvd I should continue in his Service
continually prompted me to go out and take a Walk that is to say to see if any
thing would offer in the old Way
One Evening I blindly obeyed his Summons and fetchd a long Circuit thro
the Streets but met with no purchase but not content with that I went out the
next Evening too when going by an Alehouse I saw the Door of a little room
open next the very Street and on the Table a silver Tankard things much in
use in publick Houses at that time it seems some Company had been drinking
there and the careless Boys had forgot to take it away
I went into the Box frankly and setting the silver Tankard on the Corner of
the Bench I sat down before it and knockd with my Foot a Boy came presently
and I bad him fetch me a pint of warm Ale for it was cold Weather the Boy run
and I heard him go down the Cellar to draw the Ale while the Boy was gone
another Boy come and cried dye call I spoke with a melancholly Air and
said no the Boy is gone for a pint of Ale for me
While I sat here I heard the Woman in the Bar say are they all gone in the
FIVE which was the Box I sat in and the Boy said yes who fetchd the Tankard
away says the Woman I did says another Boy thats it pointing it seems to
another Tankard which he had fetchd from another Box by Mistake or else it
must be that the Rogue forgot that he had not brought it in which certainly he
had not
I heard all this much to my satisfaction for I found plainly that the
Tankard was not mist and yet they concluded it was fetchd away so I drank my
Ale calld to Pay and as I went away I said take care of your Plate Child
meaning a silver pint Mug which he brought me to Drink in the Boy said yes
Madam very welcome and away I came
I came Home to my Governess and now I thought it was a time to try her
that if I might be put to the Necessity of being exposd she might offer me some
assistance when I had been at Home some time and had an opportunity of Talking
to her I told her I had a Secret of the greatest Consequence in the World to
commit to her if she had respect enough for me to keep it a Secret she told me
she had kept one of my Secrets faithfully why should I doubt her keeping
another I told her the strangest thing in the World had befallen me even
without any design and so told her the whole Story of the Tankard And have you
brought it away with you my Dear says she to be sure I have says I and
shewd it her But what shall I do now says I must not I carry it again
Carry it again says she Ay if you want to go to Newgate why says I
they cant be so base to stop me when I carry it to them again You dont know
those Sort of People Child says she theyll not only carry you to Newgate but
hang you too without any regard to the honesty of returning it or bring in an
Account of all the other Tankards as they have lost for you to pay for What
must I do then says I Nay says she as you have plaid the cunning part and
stole it you must een keep it theres no going back now besides Child says
she Dont you want it more than they do I wish you coud light of such a
Bargain once a Week
This gave me a new Notion of my Governess and that since she was turnd
PawnBroker she had a Sort of People about her that were none of the honest
ones that I had met with there before
I had not been long there but I discoverd it more plainly than before for
every now and then I saw Hilts of Swords Spoons Forks Tankards and all such
kind of Ware brought in not to be Pawnd but to be sold down right and she
bought them all without asking any Questions but had good Bargains as I found
by her Discourse
I found also that in following this Trade she always melted down the Plate
she bought that it might not be challengd and she came to me and told me one
Morning that she was going to Melt and if I would she would put my Tankard in
that it might not be seen by any Body I told her with all my Heart so she
weighd it and allowd me the full value in Silver again but I found she did
not do so to the rest of her Customers
Sometime after this as I was at Work and very melancholly she begins to
ask me what the Matter was I told her my Heart was very heavy I had little
Work and nothing to live on and knew not what Course to take she laughd and
told me I must go out again and try my Fortune it might be that I might meet
with another Peice of Plate O Mother says I that is a Trade that I have no
skill in and if I should be taken I am undone at once says she I could help
you to a SchoolMistress that shall make you as dexterous as her self I
trembled at that Proposal for hitherto I had had no Confederates nor any
Acquaintance among that Tribe but she conquerd all my Modesty and all my
Fears and in a little time by the help of this Confederate I grew as impudent
a Thief and as dexterous as ever Moll CutPurse was tho if Fame does not
belie her not half so Handsome
The Comrade she helped me to dealt in three sorts of Craft viz
Shoplifting stealing of ShopBooks and PocketBooks and taking off Gold
Watches from the Ladies Sides and this last she did so dexterously that no
Woman ever arrivd to the Perfection of that Art like her I likd the first
and the last of these things very well and I attended her some time in the
Practice just as a Deputy attends a Midwife without any Pay
At length she put me to Practice she had shewn me her Art and I had
several times unhookd a Watch from her own Side with great dexterity at last
she showd me a Prize and this was a Young lady with Child who had a charming
Watch the thing was to be done as she came out of the Church she goes on one
side of the Lady and pretends just as she came to the Steps to fall and fell
against the Lady with so much violence as put her into a great fright and both
cryd out terribly in the very moment that she jostld the Lady I had hold of
the Watch and holding it the right way the start she gave drew the Hook out
and she never felt it I made off immediately and left my SchoolMistress to
come out of her Fright gradually and the Lady too and presently the Watch was
missd ay says my Comrade then it was those Rogues that thrust me down I
warrant ye I wonder the Gentlewoman did not miss her Watch before then we
might have taken them
She humourd the thing so well that no Body suspected her and I was got
home a full Hour before her This was my first Adventure in Company the Watch
was indeed a very fine one and had many Trinkets about it and my Governess
allowd us 20l for it of which I had half and thus I was enterd a compleat
Thief hardend to a Pitch above all the Reflections of Conscience or Modesty
and to a Degree which I never thought possible in me
Thus the Devil who began by the help of an irresistible Poverty to push me
into this Wickedness brought me on to a height beyond the common Rate even
when my Necessities were not so terrifying for I had now got into a little Vein
of Work and as I was not at a loss to handle my Needle it was very probable I
might have got my Bread honestly enough
I must say that if such a prospect of Work had presented it self at first
when I began to feel the approach of my miserable Circumstances I say had such
a prospect of getting Bread by working presented it self then I had never
fallen into this wicked Trade or into such a wicked Gang as I was now embarkd
with but practice had hardened me and I grew audacious to the last degree and
the more so because I had carried it on so long and had never been taken for
in a word my new Partner in Wickedness and I went on together so long without
being ever detected that we not only grew Bold but we grew Rich and we had at
one time One and Twenty Gold Watches in our Hands
I remember that one Day being a little more serious than ordinary and
finding I had so good a Stock beforehand as I had for I had near 200l in
Money for my Share it came strongly into my Mind no doubt from some kind
Spirit if such there be that as at first Poverty excited me and my Distresses
drove me to these dreadful Shifts so seeing those Distresses were now relieved
and I could also get something towards a Maintenance by working and had so good
a Bank to support me why should I not now leave off while I was well that I
could not expect to go always free and if I was once surprisd I was undone
This was doubtless the happy Minute when if I had hearkend to the blessed
hint from whatsoever hand it came I had still a cast for an easie Life but my
Fate was otherwise determind the busie Devil that drew me in had too fast
hold of me to let me go back but as Poverty brought me in so Avarice kept me
in till there was no going back as to the Arguments which my Reason dictated
for perswading me to lay down Avarice stept in and said go on you have had
very good luck go on till you have gotten Four or Five Hundred Pound and then
you shall leave off and then you may live easie without working at all
Thus I that was once in the Devils Clutches was held fast there as with a
Charm and had no Power to go without the Circle till I was ingulphd in
Labyrinths of Trouble too great to get out at all
However these Thoughts left some Impression upon me and made me act with
some more caution than before and more than my Directors usd for themselves
My Comerade as I called her she should have been called my Teacher with
another of her Scholars was the first in the Misfortune for happening to be
upon the hunt for Purchase they made an attempt upon a LinnenDraper in
Cheapside but were snapd by a Hawkseyd Journeyman and seizd with two
pieces of Cambrick which were taken also upon them
This was enough to Lodge them both in Newgate where they had the Misfortune
to have some of their former Sins brought to remembrance two other Indictments
being brought against them and the Facts being provd upon them they were both
condemnd to Die they both pleaded their Bellies and were both voted Quick with
Child tho my Tutress was no more with Child than I was
I went frequently to see them and Condole with them expecting that it
would be my turn next but the place gave me so much Horror reflecting that it
was the place of my unhappy Birth and of my Mothers Misfortunes that I could
not bear it so I left off going to see them
And O coud I but have taken warning by their Disasters I had been happy
still for I was yet free and had nothing brought against me but it could not
be my Measure was not yet filld up
My Comerade having the Brand of an old Offender was Executed the young
Offender was spard having obtained a Reprieve but lay starving a long while
in Prison till at last she got her Name into what they call a Circuit Pardon
and so came off
This terrible Example of my Comrade frighted me heartily and for a good
while I made no Excursions but one Night in the Neighbourhood of my
Governesses House they cryd Fire my Governess lookd out for we were all
up and cryd immediately that such a Gentlewomans House was all of a light
Fire a top and so indeed it was Here she gives me a jog now Child says she
there is a rare opportunity the Fire being so near that you may go to it before
the Street is blockd up with the Crowd she presently gave me my Cue go
Child says she to the House and run in and tell the Lady or any Body you
see that you come to help them and that you came from such a Gentlewoman that
is one of her Acquaintance farther up the Street
Away I went and coming to the House I found them all in Confusion you may
be sure I run in and finding one of the Maids alas Sweetheart said I how
came this dismal Accident where is your Mistress Is she safe And where are
the Children I come from Madam to help you away runs the Maid Madam madam
says she screaming as loud as she coud yell here is a Gentlewoman come from
Madam to help us The poor Woman half out of her Wits with a Bundle under her
Arm and two little Children comes towards me Madam says I let me carry the
poor Children to Madam she desires you to send them shell take care of the
poor Lambs and so I takes one of them out of her Hand and she lifts the tother
up into my Arms ay do for God sake says she carry them O thank her for her
kindness Have you anything else to secure Madam says I she will take care of
it O dear says she God bless her take this bundle of Plate and carry it to
her too O she is a good Woman O we are utterly ruind undone and away she
runs from me out of her Wits and the Maids after her and away comes I with the
two Children and the Bundle
I was no sooner got into the Street but I saw another Woman come to me O
says she Mistress in a piteous Tone you will let fall the Child come come
this is a sad time let me help you and immediately lays hold of my Bundle to
carry it for me no says I if you will help me take the Child by the Hand
and lead it for me but to the upper end of the Street Ill go with you and
satisfie you for your pains
She coud not avoid going after what I said but the Creature in short
was one of the same Business with me and wanted nothing but the Bundle
however she went with me to the Door for she coud not help it when we were
come there I whisperd her go Child said I I understand your Trade you may
meet with Purchase enough
She understood me and walkd off I thundered at the Door with the Children
and as the People were raisd before by the noise of the Fire I was soon let
in and I said is Madam awake pray tell her Mrs desires the favour of her
to take the two Children in poor Lady she will be undone their House is all
of a Flame they took the Children in very civily pitied the Family in
Distress and away came I with my Bundle one of the Maids askd me if I was
not to leave the Bundle too I said no Sweetheart tis to go to another Place
it does not belong to them
I was a great way out of the hurry now and so I went on and brought the
Bundle of Plate which was very considerable strait home to my old Governess
she told me she would not look into it but bad me go again and look for more
She gave me the like Cue to the Gentlewoman of the next House to that which
was on Fire and I did my endeavour to go but by this time the allarm of Fire
was so great and so many Engines playing and the Street so throngd with
People that I coud not get near the House whatever I coud do so I came back
again to my Governesses and taking the Bundle up into my Chamber I began to
examine it It is with Horror that I tell what a Treasure I found there tis
enough to say that besides most of the Family Plate which was considerable I
found a Gold Chain an oldfashiond thing the Locket of which was broken so
that I suppose it had not been usd some Years but the Gold was not the worse
for that also a little Box of burying Rings the Ladys WeddingRing and some
broken bits of old Lockets of Gold a Gold Watch and a Purse with about 24l
value in old Pieces of Gold Coin and several other things of Value
This was the greatest and the worst Prize that ever I was concernd in for
indeed tho as I have said above I was hardend now beyond the Power of all
Reflection in other Cases yet it really touchd me to the very Soul when I
lookd into this Treasure to think of the poor disconsolate Gentlewoman who had
lost so much besides and who would think to be sure that she had savd her
Plate and best things how she woud be surprizd when she should find that she
had been deceivd and that the Person that took her Children and her Goods had
not come as was pretended from the Gentlewoman in next Street but that the
Children had been put upon her without her own knowledge
I say I confess the inhumanity of this Action movd me very much and made
me relent exceedingly and Tears stood in my Eyes upon that Subject But with
all my Sense of its being cruel and Inhuman I coud never find in my Heart to
make any Restitution The Reflection wore off and I quickly forgot the
Circumstances that attended it
Nor was this all for tho by this jobb I was become considerably Richer
than before yet the Resolution I had formerly taken of leaving off this horrid
Trade when I had gotten a little more did not return but I must still get
more and the Avarice had such Success that I had no more Thoughts of coming to
a timely Alteration of Life tho without it I coud expect no Safety no
Tranquility in the Possession of what I had gaind a little more and a little
more was the Case still
At length yielding to the Importunities of my Crime I cast off all Remorse
and all the Reflections on that Head turnd to no more than this that I might
perhaps come to have one Booty more that might compleat all but tho I
certainly had that one Booty yet every hit lookd towards another and was so
encouraging to me to go on with the Trade that I had no Gust to the laying it
down
In this Condition hardend by Success and resolving to go on I fell into
the Snare in which I was appointed to meet with my last Reward for this kind of
Life But even this was not yet for I met with several successful Adventures
more in this way
My Governess was for awhile really concernd for this Misfortune of my
Comerade that had been hangd for she knew enough of my Governess to have sent
her the same way and which made her very uneasy indeed she was in a very great
fright
It is true that when she was gone and had not told what she knew My
Governess was easy as to that Point and perhaps glad she was hangd for it was
in her power to have obtaind a Pardon at the Expence of her Friends But the
loss of her and the Sense of her Kindness in not making her Market of what she
knew movd my Governess to Mourn very sincerely for her I comforted her as
well as I coud and she in return hardend me to Merit more compleatly the same
Fate
However as I had said it made me the more wary and particularly I was very
shie of Shoplifting especially among the Mercers and Drapers who are a Set of
Fellows that have their Eyes very much about them I made a Venture or two
among the Lace Folks and the Mileners and particularly at one Shop where two
young Women were newly set up and had notbeenbred to Trade There I carried
off a Peice of Bonelace worth six or seven Pound and a Paper of Thread but
this was but once it was a Trick that would not serve again
It was always reckond a safe Job when we heard of a new Shop and
especially when the People were such as were not bred to Shops such may depend
upon it that they will be visited once or twice at their beginning and they
must be very Sharp indeed if they can prevent it
I made another Adventure or two after this but they were but Trifles
Nothing considerable offering for a good while I began to think that I must
give over Trade in Earnest but my Governess who was not willing to lose me
and expected great Things of me brought me one Day into Company with a young
Woman and a Fellow that went for her Husband tho as it appeard afterwards she
was not his Wife but they were Partners in the Trade they carried on and in
something else too In short they robbd together lay together were taken
together and at last were hangd together
I came into a kind of League with these two by the help of my Governess and
they carried me out into three or four Adventures where I rather saw them
commit some Coarse and unhandy Robberies in which nothing but a great Stock of
impudence on their Side and gross Negligence on the Peoples Side who were
robbd could have made them Successful so I resolvd from that time forward to
be very Cautious how I Adventurd with them and indeed when two or three
unlucky Projects were proposd by them I declind the offer and perswaded them
against it One time they particularly proposd Robbing a Watchmaker of 3 Gold
Watches which they had Eyd in the Day time and found the Place where he laid
them one of them had so many Keys of all kinds that he made no Question to
open the Place where the Watchmaker had laid them and so we made a kind of an
Appointment but when I came to look narrowly into the Thing I found they
proposd breaking open the House and this I would not Embark in so they went
without me They did get into the House by main Force and broke up the lockd
Place where the Watches were but found but one of the Gold Watches and a
Silver one which they took and got out of the House again very clear but the
Family being alarmd cried out Thieves and the Man was pursued and taken the
young Woman had got off too but unhappily was stopd at a Distance and the
Watches found upon her and thus I had a second Escape for they were convicted
and both hangd being old Offenders tho but young People and as I said
before that they robbd together so now they hangd together and there ended
my new Partnership
I began now to be very wary having so narrowly escapd a Scouring and
having such an Example before me but I had a new Tempter who prompted me every
day I mean my Governess and now a Prize presented which as it came by her
Management so she expected a good Share of the Booty there was a good Quantity
of FlandersLace lodgd in a private House where she had heard of it and
Flanders Lace being Prohibited it was a good Booty to any CustomHouse Officer
that could come at it I had a full Account from my Governess as well of the
Quantity as of the very Place where it was conceald so I went to a
CustomHouse Officer and told him I had a Discovery to make to him if he
would assure me that I should have my due Share of the Reward This was so just
an offer that nothing could be fairer so he agreed and taking a Constable
and me with him we beset the House as I told him I could go directly to the
Place he left it to me and the Hole being very dark I squeezd myself into
it with a Candle in my Hand and so reachd the Peices out to him taking care
as I gave him some so to secure as much about myself as I could conveniently
Dispose of There was near 300l worth of Lace in the whole and I securd about
50l worth of it myself The People of the House were not owners of the Lace
but a Merchant who had entrusted them with it so that they were not so
surprizd as I thought they would be
I left the Officer overjoyd with his Prize and fully satisfyd with what
he had got and appointed to meet him at a House of his own directing where I
came after I had disposd of the Cargo I had about me of which he had not the
least Suspicion when I came he began to Capitulate believing I did not
understand the right I had in the Prize and would fain have put me off with
Twenty Pound but I let him know that I was not so ignorant as he supposd I
was and yet I was glad too that he offerd to bring me to a certainty I asked
100l and he rose up to 30l I fell to 80l and he rose again to 40l in a
Word he offered 50l and I consented only demanding a Peice of Lace which I
thought came to about 8 or 9 Pound as if it had been for my own Wear and he
agreed to it so I got 50l in Money paid me that same Night and made an End of
the Bargain nor did he ever know who I was or where to enquire for me so that
if it had been discoverd that part of the Goods were embezzeld he could have
made no Challenge upon me for it
I very punctually divided this Spoil with my Governess and I passd with
her from this time for a very dexterous Manager in the nicest Cases I found
that this last was the best and easiest sort of Work that was in my way and I
made it my business to enquire out prohibited Goods and after buying some
usually betrayd them but none of these Discoveries amounted to any thing
considerable not like that I related just now but I was Cautious of running
the great Risques which I found others did and in which they Miscarried every
Day
The next thing of Moment was an attempt at a Gentlewomans gold Watch it
happend in a Crowd at a MeetingHouse where I was in very great Danger of
being taken I had full hold of her Watch but giving a great Jostle as if some
body had thrust me against her and in the Juncture giving the Watch a fair
pull I found it would not come so I let it go that Moment and cried as if I
had been killd that somebody had Trod upon my Foot and that there was
certainly Pickpockets there for some body or other had given a pull at my
Watch for you are to observe that on these Adventures we always went very well
Dressd and I had very good Cloths on and a Gold Watch by my Side as like a
Lady as other Folks
I had no sooner said so but the other Gentlewoman cried out a Pickpocket
too for some body she said had tryd to pull her Watch away
When I touchd her Watch I was close to her but when I cryd out I stopd
as it were short and the Crowd bearing her forward a little she made a Noise
too but it was at some Distance from me so that she did not in the least
suspect me but when she cried out a Pickpocket some body cried out Ay and
here has been another this Gentlewoman has been attempted too
At that very instant a little farther in the Crowd and very Luckily too
they cried out a Pickpocket again and really seizd a young Fellow in the very
Fact This tho unhappy for the Wretch was very opportunely for my Case tho
I had carried it handsomely enough before but now it was out of Doubt and all
the loose part of the Crowd ran that way and the poor Boy was deliverd up to
the Rage of the Street which is a Cruelty I need not describe and which
however they are always glad of rather than be sent to Newgate where they lie
often a long time and sometimes they are hangd and the best they can look
for if they are Convicted is to be Transported
This was a narrow Escape to me and I was so frighted that I venturd no
more at Gold Watches a great while there were indeed many Circumstances in this
Adventure which assisted to my Escape but the chief was that the Woman whose
Watch I had pulld at was a Fool that is to say she was Ignorant of the nature
of the Attempt which one would have thought she should not have been seeing
she was wise enough to fasten her Watch so that it could not be slipt up but
she was in such a Fright that she had no Thought about her for she when she
felt the pull screamd out and pushd herself forward and put all the People
about her into disorder but said not a Word of her Watch or of a Pickpocket
for at least two Minutes which was time enough for me and to spare for as I
had cried out behind her as I have said and bore myself back in the Crowd as
she bore forward there were several People at least seven or eight the Throng
being still moving on that were got between me and her in that time and then I
crying out a Pickpocket rather sooner than she she might as well be the
Person suspected as I and the People were confusd in their Enquiry whereas
had she with a Presence of Mind needful on such an Occasion as soon as she felt
the pull not skreamd out as she did but turnd immediately round and seizd
the next Body that was behind her she had infallibly taken me
This is a Direction not of the kindest Sort to the Fraternity but tis
certainly a Key to the Clue of a Pickpockets Motions and whoever can follow
it will as certainly catch the Thief as he will be sure to miss if he does not
I had another Adventure which puts this Matter out of doubt and which may
be an Instruction for Posterity in the Case of a Pickpocket my good old
Governess to give a short touch at her History tho she had left off the Trade
was as I may say born a Pickpocket and as I understood afterward had run
thro all the several Degrees of that Art and yet had been taken but once when
she was so grossly detected that she was convicted and orderd to be
Transported but being a Woman of a rare Tongue and withal having Money in her
Pocket she found Means the Ship putting into Ireland for Provisions to get on
Shore there where she practised her old Trade some Years when falling into
another sort of Company she turned Midwife and Procuress and playd a hundred
Pranks which she gave me a little History of in Confidence between us as we
grew more intimate and it was to this wicked Creature that I owd all the
Dexterity I arrivd to in which there were few that ever went beyond me or
that practisd so long without any Misfortune
It was after those Adventures in Ireland and when she was pretty well known
in that Country that she left Dublin and came over to England where the time
of her Transportation being not expird she left her former Trade for fear of
falling into bad Hands again for then she was sure to have gone to Wreck Here
she set up the same Trade she had followed in Ireland in which she soon by her
admirable Management and a good Tongue arrived to the Height which I have
already describd and indeed began to be Rich tho her Trade fell again
afterwards
I mention thus much of the History of this Woman here the better to account
for the concern she had in the wicked Life I was now leading into all the
Particulars of which she lead me as it were by the Hand and gave me such
Directions and I so well followd them that I grew the greatest Artist of my
time and workd myself out of every Danger with such Dexterity that when
several more of my Comrades run themselves into Newgate by that time they had
been half a Year at the Trade I had now practisd upwards of five Year and the
People at Newgate did not so much as know me they had heard much of me indeed
and often expected me there but I always got off tho many times in the
extreamest Danger
One of the greatest Dangers I was now in was that I was too well known
among the Trade and some of them whose hatred was owing rather to Envy than
any Injury I had done them began to be Angry that I should always Escape when
they were always catchd and hurried to Newgate These were they that gave me
the Name of Moll Flanders For it was no more of Affinity with my real Name or
with any of the Names I had ever gone by than black is of Kin to white except
that once as before I calld my self Mrs Flanders when I sheltered my self in
the Mint but that these Rogues never knew nor could I ever learn how they came
to give me the Name or what the Occasion of it was
I was soon informd that some of these who were gotten fast into Newgate
had vowed to Impeach me and as I knew that two or three of them were but too
able to do it I was under a great concern and kept within Doors for a good
while but my Governess who was Partner in my Success and who now plaid a sure
Game for she had no Share in the hazard I say my Governess was something
impatient of my leading such a useless unprofitable Life as she calld it and
she laid a new Contrivance for my going Abroad and this was to Dress me up in
Mens Cloths and so put me into a new kind of Practice
I was Tall and Personable but a little too smooth Facd for a Man however
as I seldom went Abroad but in the Night it did well enough but it was long
before I could behave in my new Cloaths it was impossible to be so Nimble so
Ready so Dexterous at these things in a Dress contrary to Nature and as I did
every thing Clumsily so I had neither the success or easiness of Escape that I
had before and I resolvd to leave it off but that Resolution was confirmd
soon after by the following Accident
As my Governess had disguisd me like a Man so she joynd me with a Man a
young Fellow that was Nimble enough at his Business and for about three Weeks
we did very well together Our principal Trade was watching ShopKeepers
Compters and Slipping off any kinds of Goods we could see carelessly laid any
where and we made several good Bargains as we calld them at this Work And as
we kept always together so we grew very intimate yet he never knew that I was
not a Man nay tho I several times went home with him to his Lodgings
according as our business directed and four or five times lay with him all
Night But our Design lay another way and it was absolutely necessary to me to
conceal my Sex from him as appeard afterwards The circumstances of our
Living coming in late and having such Business to do as requird that no Body
should be trusted with coming into into our Lodgings were such as made it
impossible to me to refuse lying with him unless I would have ownd my Sex and
as it was I effectually conceald my self
But his ill and my good Fortune soon put an end to this Life which I must
own I was sick of too We had made several Prizes in this new way of Business
but the last would have been extraordinary there was a Shop in a certain Street
which had a Warehouse behind it that lookd into another Street the House
making the Corner
Through the Window of the Warehouse we saw lying on the Compter or
Showboard which was just before it five peices of Silks besides other Stuffs
and tho it was almost dark yet the People being busie in the fore Shop had not
had time to shut up those Windows or else had forgot it
This the young Fellow was so overjoyd with that he could not restrain
himself it lay within his reach he said and he swore violently to me that he
would have it if he broke down the House for it I dissuaded him a little but
saw there was no Remedy so he run rashly upon it slipt out a Square out of the
Sash Window dexterously enough and got four Peices of the silks and came with
them towards me but was immediately persued with a terrible Clutter and Noise
we were standing together indeed but I had not taken any of the Goods out of
his Hand when I said to him hastily you are undone he run like Lightning and
I too but the pursuit was hotter after him because he had the Goods he dropt
two of the Peices which stopd them a little but the crowd encreasd and
pursued us both they took him soon after with the other two Peices and then
the rest followd me I run for it and got into my Governesses House whether
some quickeyd People followd me so warmly as to fix me there they did not
immediately knock at the Door by which I got time to throw off my Disguise and
dress me in my own Cloaths besides when they came there my Governess who had
her Tale ready kept her Door shut and calld out to them and told them there
was no Man came in there the People affirmd there did a Man come in there and
swore they would break open the Door
My Governess not at all surprizd spoke calmly to them told them they
should very freely come and search her House if they would bring a Constable
and let in none but such as the Constable would admit for it was unreasonable
to let in a whole Crowd this they could not refuse tho they were a Crowd so
a Constable was fetchd immediately and she very freely opend the Door the
Constable kept the Door and the Men he appointed searchd the House my
Governess going with them from Room to Room when she came to my Room she calld
to me and said aloud Cousin pray open the Door heres some Gentlemen that
must come and look into your Room
I had a little Girl with me which was my Governesses Grandchild as she
calld her and I bad her open the Door and there sat I at work with a great
litter of things about me as if I had been at Work all Day being undressd
with only Nightcloaths on my Head and a loose Morning Gown about me My
Governess made a kind of excuse for their disturbing me telling partly the
occasion of it and that she had no Remedy but to open the Doors to them and
let them satisfie themselves for all she could say would not satisfie them I
sat still and bid them search if they pleasd for if there was any Body in the
House I was sure they was not in my Room and for the rest of the House I had
nothing to say to that I did not understand what they lookd for
Every thing lookd so innocent and so honest about me that they treated me
civiller than I expected but it was not till they had searchd the Room to a
nicety even under the Bed and in the Bed and every where else where it was
possible any thing coud be hid when they had done and coud find nothing they
askd my Pardon and went down
When they had thus searched the House from Bottom to Top and then from Top
to Bottom and coud find nothing they appeasd the Mob pretty well but they
carried my Governess before the Justice Two Men swore that they see the Man
who they pursued go into her House My Governess rattled and made a great noise
that her House should be insulted and that she should be used thus for nothing
that if a Man did come in he might go out again presently for ought she knew
for she was ready to make Oath that no Man had been within her Doors all that
Day as she knew of which was very true that it might be that as she was above
Stairs any Fellow in a Fright might find the Door open and run in for shelter
when he was pursued but that she knew nothing of it and if it had been so he
certainly went out again perhaps at the other Door for she had another Door
into an Alley and so had made his escape
This was indeed probable enough and the Justice satisfied himself with
giving her an Oath that she had not receivd or admitted any Man into her House
to conceal him or protect or hide him from Justice This Oath she might justly
take and did so and so she was dismissd
It is easie to judge what a fright I was in upon this occasion and it was
impossible for my Governess ever to bring me to Dress in that Disguise again
for as I told her I should certainly betray myself
My poor Partner in this Mischief was now in a bad Case for he was carryd
away before my Lord Mayor and by his Worship committed to Newgate and the
People that took him were so willing as well as able to Prosecute him that
they offerd themselves to enter into Recognisances to appear at the Sessions
and persue the Charge against him
However he got his Indictment deferrd upon promise to discover his
Accomplices and particularly the Man that was concernd with him in this
Robbery and he faild not to do his Endeavour for he gave in my Name who he
calld Gabriel Spencer which was the Name I went by to him and here appeard
the Wisdom of my concealing my self from him without which I had been undone
He did all he could to discover this Gabriel Spencer he describd me he
discoverd the Place where he said I Lodgd and in a Word all the Particulars
that he could of my Dwelling but having conceald the main Circumstances of my
Sex from him I had a vast Advantage and he could never hear of me he brought
two or three Families into trouble by his Endeavouring to find me out but they
knew nothing of me any more than that he had a Fellow with him that they had
seen but knew nothing of and as to my Governess tho she was the Means of his
coming to me yet it was done at second Hand and he knew nothing of her
neither
This turnd to his Disadvantage for having promisd Discoveries but not
being able to make it good it was lookd upon as trifling and he was the more
fiercely persued by the Shopkeeper
I was however terribly uneasie all this while and that I might be quite out
of the Way I went away from my Governess for a while but not knowing whither
to wander I took a Maid Servant with me and took the StageCoach to Dunstable
to my old Landlord and Landlady where I lived so handsomely with my Lancashire
Husband Here I told her a formal Story that I expected my Husband every day
from Ireland and that I had sent a Letter to him that I would meet him at
Dunstable at her House and that he would certainly Land if the Wind was fair
in a few Days so that I was come to spend a few Days with them till he could
come for he would either come Post or in the WestChester Coach I knew not
which but which soever it was he would be sure to come to that House to meet
me
My Landlady was mighty glad to see me and my Landlord made such a Stir with
me that if I had been a Princess I could not have been better used and here I
might have been Welcome a Month or two if I had thought fit
But my Business was of another Nature I was very uneasie though so well
disguisd that it was scarce possible to Detect me least this Fellow should
find me out and tho he could not charge me with the Robbery having perswaded
him not to venture and having done nothing of it myself yet he might have
chargd me with other Things and have bought his own Life at the Expence of
mine
This filld me with horrible Apprehensions I had no Recourse no Friend no
Confident but my old Governess and I knew no Remedy but to put my Life into her
Hands and so I did for I let her know where to send to me and had several
Letters from her while I stayd here some of them almost scard me out of my
Wits but at last she sent me the joyful News that he was Hangd which was the
Best News to me that I had heard a great while
I had stayd here five Weeks and livd very comfortably indeed the secret
Anxiety of my Mind excepted but when I receivd this Letter I lookd pleasantly
again and told my Landlady that I had receivd a Letter from my Spouse in
Ireland that I had the good News of his being very well but had the bad News
that his Business would not permit him to come away so soon as he expected and
so I was like to go back again without him
My Landlady complimented me upon the good News however that I had heard he
was well for I have observd Madam says she you hant been so pleasant as you
usd to be you have been over Head and Ears in Care for him I dare say says
the good Woman tis easie to be seen theres an Alteration in you for the
better says she Well I am sorry the Esquire cant come yet says my Landlord
I should have been heartily glad to have seen him when you have certain News of
his coming youll take a Step hither again Madam says he you shall be very
welcome whenever you please to come
With all these fine Complements we parted and I came merry enough to London
and found my Governess as well pleasd as I was and now she told me she would
never recommend any Partner to me again for she always found she said that I
had the best Luck when I venturd by my self and so indeed I had for I was
seldom in any Danger when I was by my self or if I was I got out of it with
more Dexterity than when I was entangled with the dull Measures of other People
who had perhaps less forecast and were more impatient than I for tho I had as
much Courage to Venture as any of them yet I usd more Caution before I
undertook a Thing and had more Presence of Mind to bring my self off
I have often wondered even at my own hardiness another way that when all my
Companions were surprizd and fell so suddenly into the Hand of Justice yet I
could not all this while enter into one serious Resolution to leave off this
Trade and especially considering that I was now very far from being Poor that
the Temptation of Necessity which is the general Introduction of all such
Wickedness was now removed that I had near 500l by me in ready Money on
which I might have livd very well if I had thought fit to have retird but I
say I had not so much as the least Inclination to leave off no not so much as
I had before when I had but 200l beforehand and when I had no such frightful
Examples before my Eyes as these were From hence tis evident that when once
we are hardend in Crime no Fear can affect us no Example give us any Warning
I had indeed one Comrade whose Fate went very near me for a good while
tho I wore it off too in Time that Case was indeed very unhappy I had made a
Prize of a Piece of very good Damask in a Mercers Shop and went clear off my
self but had conveyd the Piece to this Companion of mine when we went out of
the Shop and she went one way I went another We had not been long out of the
Shop but the Mercer mist the Piece of Stuff and sent his Messengers one one
way and one another and they presently seizd her that had the Piece with the
Damask upon her as for me I had very luckily stept into a House where there
was a Lace Chamber up one Pair of Stairs and had the Satisfaction or the
Terror indeed of looking out of the Window and seeing the poor Creature dragd
away to the Justice who immediately committed her to Newgate
I was careful to attempt nothing in the LaceChamber but tumbld their
Goods pretty much to spend Time then bought a few Yards of Edging and paid for
it and came away very sad Hearted indeed for the poor Woman who was in
Tribulation for what I only had stolen
Here again my old Caution stood me in good stead tho I often robbd with
these People yet I never let them know who I was nor could they ever find out
my Lodging tho they often endeavourd to watch me to it They all knew me by
the Name of Moll Flanders tho even some of them rather believd I was she
than knew me to be so my Name was publick among them indeed but how to find me
out they knew not nor so much as how to guess at my Quarters whether they were
at the East End of the Town or the West and this Wariness was my Safety upon
all these Occasions
I kept close a great while upon the Occasion of this Womans Disaster I
knew that if I should do any thing that should miscarry and should be carryd
to Prison she would be there and ready to witness against me and perhaps save
her Life at my Expence I considerd that I began to be very well known by Name
at the Old Baily tho they did not know my Face and that if I should fall into
their Hands I should be treated as an old Offender and for this Reason I was
resolvd to see what this poor Creatures Fate should be before I stirrd tho
several times in her Distress I conveyd Money to her for her Relief
At length she came to her Tryal she pleaded she did not steal the Things
but that one Mrs Flanders as she heard her calld for she did not know her
gave the Bundle to her after they came out of the Shop and bad her carry it
Home They askd her where this Mrs Flanders was But she could not produce
her neither could she give the least Account of me and the Mercers Men
swearing positively that she was in the Shop when the Goods were stolen that
they immediately missd them and pursud her and found them upon her
thereupon the Jury brought her in Guilty but the Court considering that she
really was not the Person that Stole the Goods and that it was very possible
she could not find out this Mrs Flanders meaning me tho it would save her
Life which indeed was true they allowd her to be Transported which was the
utmost Favour she could obtain only that the Court told her if she could in
the mean time produce the said Mrs Flanders they would intercede for her
Pardon that is to say if she could find me out and hang me she should not be
Transported This I took care to make impossible to her and so she was Shippd
off in pursuance of her Sentence a little while after
I must repeat it again that the Fate of this poor Woman troubld me
exceedingly and I began to be very pensive knowing that I was really the
Instrument of her disaster but my own Life which was so evidently in Danger
took off my tenderness and seeing she was not put to Death I was easie at her
Transportation because she was then out of the way of doing me any Mischief
whatever should happen
The Disaster of this Woman was some Months before that of the last recited
Story and was indeed partly the Occasion of my Governess proposing to Dress me
up in Mens Cloths that I might go about unobservd but I was soon tird of
that Disguise as I have said for it exposd me to too many Difficulties
I was now easie as to all Fear of Witnesses against me for all those that
had either been concernd with me or that knew me by the Name of Moll Flanders
were either hangd or Transported and if I should have had the Misfortune to be
taken I might call myself any thing else as well as Moll Flanders and no old
Sins could be placd to my Account so I began to run a Tick again with the
more freedom and several successful Adventures I made tho not such as I had
made before
We had at that time another Fire happend not a great way off from the Place
where my Governess livd and I made an attempt there as before but as I was
not soon enough before the Crowd of People came in and could not get to the
House I aimd at instead of a Prize I got a mischief which had almost put a
Period to my Life and all my wicked doings together for the Fire being very
furious and the People inagreat Fright in removing their Goods and throwing
them out of Window a Wench from out of a Window threw a Featherbed just upon
me it is true the Bed being soft it broke no Bones but as the weight was
great and made greater by the Fall it beat me down and laid me dead for a
while nor did the People concern themselves much to deliver me from it or to
recover me at all but I lay like one Dead and neglected a good while till some
body going to remove the Bed out of the way helped me up it was indeed a
wonder the People in the House had not thrown other Goods out after it and
which might have fallen upon it and then I had been inevitably killd but I
was reservd for further Afflictions
This Accident however spoild my Market for that time and I came Home to my
Governess very much hurt and Frighted and it was a good while before she could
set me upon my Feet again
It was now a Merry time of the Year and Bartholomew Fair was begun I had
never made any Walks that Way nor was the Fair of much Advantage to me but I
took a turn this Year into the Cloisters and there I fell into one of the
Raffling Shops It was a thing of no great Consequence to me but there came a
Gentleman extreamly well Dressd and very Rich and as tis frequent to talk to
every Body in those Shops he singld me out and was very particular with me
first he told me he would put in for me to Raffle and did so and some small
matter coming to his Lot he presented it to me I think it was a Feather Muff
Then he continud to keep talking to me with a more than common Appearance of
Respect but still very civil and much like a Gentleman
He held me in talk so long till at last he drew me out of the Raffling
Place to the ShopDoor and then to take a walk in the Cloister still talking
of a Thousand things Cursorily without any thing to the purpose at last hetold
me that he was charmd with my Company and askd me if I durst trust myself in
a Coach with him he told me he was a Man of honour and would not offer any
thing to me unbecoming him I seemd to decline it a while but sufferd myself
to be importund a little and then yielded
I was at a loss in my Thoughts to conclude at first what this Gentleman
designd but I found afterward he had had some drink in his Head and that he
was not very unwilling to have some more He carried me to the Spring Garden at
KnightsBridge where we walkd in the Gardens and he Treated me very
handsomely but I found he drank freely he pressed me also to drink but I
declind it
Hitherto he kept his Word with me and offerd me nothing amiss we came
away in the Coach again and he brought me into the Streets and by this time it
was near Ten a Clock at Night when he stopd the Coach at a House where it
seems he was acquainted and where they made no scruple to show us up Stairs
into a Room with a Bed in it at first I seemd to be unwilling to go up but
after a few Words I yielded to that too being indeed willing to see the End of
it and in Hopes to make something of it at last as for the Bed ampc I was
not much concernd about that Part
Here he began to be a little freer with me than he had promisd and I by
little and little yielded to every thing so that in a Word he did what he
pleasd with me I need say no more All this while he drank freely too and
about One in the Morning we went into the Coach again The Air and the shaking
of the Coach made the Drink get more up in his Head and he grew uneasy and was
for acting over again what he had been doing before but as I thought my Game
now secure I resisted and brought him to be a little still which had not
lasted five Minutes but he fell fast asleep
I took this opportunity to search him to a Nicety I took a gold Watch with
a silk Purse of Gold his fine full bottom Perrewig and silver fringd Gloves
his Sword and fine Snuffbox and gently opening the Coachdoor stood ready to
jump out while the Coach was going on but the Coach stopping in the narrow
Street beyond TempleBar to let another Coach pass I got softly out fastend
the Door again and gave my Gentleman and the Coach the slip together
This was an Adventure indeed unlookd for and perfectly undesignd by me
tho I was not so past the Merry part of Life as to forget how to behave when
a Fop so blinded by his Appetite should not know an old Woman from a young I
did not indeed look so old as I was by ten or twelve Year yet I was not a young
Wench of Seventeen and it was easie enough to be distinguishd There is
nothing so absurd so surfeiting so ridiculous as a man heated by Wine in his
Head and a wicked Gust in his Inclination together he is in the possession of
two Devils at once and can no more govern himself by his Reason than a Mill can
Grind without Water Vice tramples upon all that was in him that had any good in
it nay his very Sense is blinded by its own Rage and he acts Absurdities even
in his View such is Drinking more when he is Drunk already picking up a
common Woman without any regard to what she is or who she is whether Sound or
Rotten Clean or Unclean whether Ugly or Handsome Old or Young and so
blinded as not really to distinguish such a Man is worse than Lunatick
prompted by his vicious Head he no more knows what he is doing than this Wretch
of mine knew when I pickd his Pocket of his Watch and his Purse of Gold
These are the Men of whom Solomon says they go like an Ox to the slaughter
till a Dart strikes through their Liver an admirable Description by the way
of the foul Disease which is a poisonous deadly Contagion mingling with the
Blood whose Center or Fountain is in the Liver from whence by the swift
Circulation of the whole Mass that dreadful nauceous Plague strikes immediately
thro his Liver and his Spirits are infected his Vitals stabd thro as with a
Dart
It is true this poor unguarded Wretch was in no Danger from me tho I was
greatly apprehensive at first what Danger I might be in from him but he was
really to be pityed in one respect that he seemd to be a good sort of a Man in
himself a Gentleman that had no harm in his Design a Man of Sense and of a
fine Behaviour a comely handsome Person a sober and solid Countenance a
charming beautiful Face and every thing that coud be agreeable only had
unhappily had some Drink the Night before had not been in Bed as he told me
when we were together was hot and his Blood fird with Wine and in that
Condition his Reason as it were asleep had given him up
As for me my Business was his Money and what I could make of him and
after that if I could have found out any way to have done it I would have sent
him safe home to his House and to his Family for twas ten to one but he had
an honest virtuous Wife and innocent Children that were anxious for his
Safety and would have been glad to have gotten him Home and taken care of him
till he was restord to himself and then with what Shame and Regret would he
look back upon himself how would he reproach himself with associating himself
with a Whore pickd up in the worst of all Holes the Cloister among the Dirt
and Filth of the Town how would he be trembling for fear he had got the Pox
for fear a Dart had struck through his Liver and hate himself every time he
lookd back upon the Madness and Brutality of his Debauch how would he if he
had any Principles of Honour abhor the Thought of giving any ill Distemper if
he had it as for ought he knew he might to his Modest and Virtuous Wife and
thereby sowing the Contagion in the LifeBlood of his Posterity
Would such Gentlemen but consider the contemptible Thoughtswhich the very
Women they are concernd with in such Cases as these have of them it woud be
a surfeit to them As I said above they value not the Pleasure they are raisd
by no Inclination to the Man the passive Jade thinks of no Pleasure but the
Money and when he is as it were drunk in the Extasies of his wicked Pleasure
her Hands are in his Pockets for what she can find there and of which he can no
more be sensible in the Moment of his Folly than he can forethink of it when
he goes about it
I knew a Woman that was so dexterous with a Fellow who indeed deservd no
better usage that while he was busie with her another way conveyd his Purse
with twenty Guineas in it out of his Fob pocket where he had put it for fear of
her and put another Purse with guilded Counters in it into the room of it
After he had done he says to her now hant you pickd my Pocket she jested
with him and told him she supposd he had not much to loose he put his Hand to
his Fob and with his Fingers felt that his Purse wasthere whichfully
satisfydhim and so she brought off his Money and this was a Trade with her
she kept a sham Gold Watch and a Purse of Counters in her Pocket to be ready on
all such Occasions and I doubt not practisd it with Success
I came Home with this last Booty to my Governess and really when I told her
the Story it so affected her that she was hardly able to forbear Tears to
think how such a Gentleman run a daily Risque of being undone every Time a
Glass of Wine got into his Head
But as to the Purchase I got and how entirely I stripd him she told me it
pleased her wonderfully nay Child says she the Usage may for ought I know
do more to reform him than all the Sermons that ever he will hear in his Life
and if the Remainder of the Story be true so it did
I found the next Day she was wonderful Inquisitive about this Gentleman the
Description I gave her of him his Dress his Person his Face all concurrd to
make her think of a Gentleman whose Character she knew she musd awhile and I
going on in the Particulars says she I lay a Hundred Pound I know the Man
I am sorry if you do says I for I would not have him exposd on any
Account in the World he has had Injury enough already and I would not be
instrumental to do him any more No no says she I will do him no Injury but
you may let me satisfy my Curiosity a little for if it is he I warrant you I
find it out I was a little startled at that and I told her with an apparent
Concern in my Face that by the same Rule he might find me out and then I was
undone She returnd warmly Why do you think I will betray you Child No no
says she not for all he is worth in the World I have kept your Counsel in
worse Things than these sure you may trust me in this So I said no more
She laid her Scheme another way and without acquainting me with it but she
was resolvd to find it out so she goes to a certain Friend of hers who was
acquainted in the Family that she guessd at and told her she had some
extraordinary Business with such a Gentleman who by the way was no less than a
Baronet and of a very good Family and that she knew not how to come at him
without somebody to introduce her Her Friend promisd her readily to do it and
accordingly goes to the House to see if the Gentleman was in Town
The next Day she comes to my Governess and tells her that Sir was at
Home but that he had met with a Disaster and was veryill and there was no
speaking to him what Disaster says my Governess hastily as if she was
surprizd at it Why says her Friend he had been at Hampstead to Visit a
Gentleman of his Acquaintance and as he came back again he was set upon and
Robbd and having got a little Drink too as they suppose the Rogues abusd
him and he is very ill Robbd says my Governess and what did they take from
him why says her Friend they took his Gold Watch and his Gold Snuffbox his
fine Perriwig and what Money he had in his Pocket which was considerable to be
sure for Sir never goes without a Purse of Guineas about him
Pshaw says myold Governess Jeering I warrant you he has got Drunk now and
got a Whore and she has pickd his Pocket and so he comes Home to his Wife and
tells her he has been robbd thats an old Sham a thousand such Tricks are put
upon the poor Women every Day
FYE says her Friend I find you dont know Sir why he is as Civil a
Gentleman there is not a finer man nor a soberer modester Person in the whole
City he abhors such things theres no Body that knows him will think such a
thing of him Well well says my Governess thats none of my Business if it
was I warrant I should find there was something of that in it your modest Men
in common Opinion are sometimes no better than other People only they keep a
better Character or if you please are the better Hypocrites
No no says her Friend I can assure you Sir is no Hypocrite he is
really an honest sober Gentleman and he has certainly been Robbd Nay says
my Governess it may be he has it is no Business of mine I tell you Ionly want
to speak with him my Business is of another Nature but says her Friend let
your Business be of what nature it will you cannot see him yet for he is not
fit to be seen for he is very ill and bruisd very much Ay says my Governess
nay then he has fallen into bad Hands to be sure and then she askd gravely
pray where is he bruised Why in his Head says her Friend and one of his
Hands and his Face for they usd him barbarously Poor Gentleman says my
Governess I must wait then till he recovers and adds I hope it will not be
long
Away she comes to me and tells me this story I have found out your fine
Gentleman and a fine Gentleman he was says she but Mercy on him he is in a
sad Pickle now I wonder what the D l you have done to him why you have
almost killd him I lookd at her with disorder enough I killd him says I
you must mistake the Person I am sure I did nothing to him he was very well
when I left him said I only drunk and fast asleep I know nothing of that
says she but he is in a sad pickle now and so she told me all that her Friend
had said Well then says I he fell into bad Hands after I left him for I left
him safe enough
About ten Days after my Governess goes again to her Friend to introduce
her to this Gentleman she had enquird otherways in the mean time and found
that he was about again so she got leave to speak with him
She was a Woman of an admirable Address and wanted no Body to introduce
her she told her Tale much better than I shall be able to tell it for her for
she was Mistress of her Tongue as I said already She told him that she came
tho a Stranger with a single design of doing him a Service and he should find
she had no other End in it that as she came purely on so Friendly an Account
she begd a promise from him that if he did not accept what she should
officiously propose he would not take it ill that she meddld with what was not
her Business she assurd him that as what she had to say was a Secret that
belongd to him only so whether he accepted her offer or not it should remain
a Secret to all the World unless he exposd it himself nor should his refusing
her Service in it make her so little show her Respect as to do him the least
Injury so that he should be entirely at liberty to act as he thought fit
He lookd very shy at first and said he knew nothing that related to him
that requird much secresie that he had never done any Man any wrong and card
not what any Body might say of him that it was no part of his Character to be
unjust to any Body nor could he imagine in what any Man coud render him any
Service but that if it was as she said he could not take it ill from any one
that should endeavour to serve him and so as it were left her at liberty
either to tell him or not to tell him as she thought fit
She found him so perfectly indifferent that she was almost afraid to enter
into the point with him but however after some other Circumlocutions she told
him that by a strange and unaccountable Accident she came to have a particular
knowledge of the late unhappy Adventure he had fallen into and that in such a
manner that there was no Body in the World but herself and him that were
acquainted with it no not the very Person that was with him
He lookd a little angrily at first what Adventure said he why Sir said
she of your being Robbd coming from Knightsbr Hampstead Sir I should say
says she be not surprisd Sir says she that I am able to tell you every step
you took that Day from the Cloyster in Smithfield to the Springgarden at
Knightsbridge and thence to the in the Strand and how you were left asleep
in the Coach afterwards I say let not this surprize you for Sir I do not come
to make a Booty of you I ask nothing of you and I assure you the Woman that
was with you knows nothing who you are and never shall and yet perhaps I may
serve you farther still for I did not come barely to let you know that I was
informd of these things as if I wanted a Bribe to conceal them assure your
self Sir said she that whatever you think fit to do or say to me it shall be
all a secret as it is as much as if I were in my Grave
He was astonishd at her Discourse and said gravely to her Madam you are
a Stranger to me but it is very unfortunate that you should be let into the
Secret of the worst action of my Life and a thing that I am justly a shamd of
in which the only satisfaction I had was that I thought it was known only to
God and my own Conscience Pray Sir says she do not reckon the Discovery of
it to me to be any part of your Misfortune it was a thing I believe you were
surprised into and perhaps the Woman usd some Art to prompt you to it
however you will never find any just Cause said she to repent that I came to
hear of it nor can your Mouth be more silent in it than I have been and ever
shall be
Well says he but let me do some Justice to the Woman too whoever she is
I do assure you she prompted me to nothing she rather declind me it was my
own Folly and Madness that brought me into it all ay and brought her into it
too I must give her her due so far As to what she took from me I coud expect
no less from her in the condition I was in and to this Hour I know not whether
she Robbed me or the Coachman if she did it I forgive her I think all
Gentlemen that do so should be usd in the same manner but I am more concernd
for some other things than I am for all that she took from me
My Governess now began to come into the whole matter and he opend himself
freely to her first she said to him in answer to what he had said about me I
am glad Sir you are so just to the Person that you were with I assure you she
is a Gentlewoman and no Woman of the Town and however you prevaild with her
as you did I am sure tis not her Practice you run a great venture indeed
Sir but if that be part of your Care you may be perfectly easie for I do
assure you no Man has touchd her before you since her Husband and he has
been dead now almost eight Year
It appeard that this was his Grievance and that he was in a very great
fright about it however when my Governess said this to him he appeared very
well pleasd and said well Madam to be plain with you if I was satisfyd of
that I should not so much value what I lost for as to that the Temptation was
great and perhaps she was poor and wanted it If she had not been poor Sir says
she I assure you she would never have yielded to you and as her Poverty first
prevaild with her to let you do as you did so the same Poverty prevaild with
her to pay her self at last when she saw you was in such a Condition that if
she had not done it perhaps the next Coachman or Chairman might have done it
more to your Hurt
Well says he much good may it do her I say again all the Gentlemen that
do so ought to be usd in the same manner and then they would be cautious of
themselves I have no more concern about it but on the score which you hinted
at before Here he entred into some freedoms with her on the Subject of what
passd between us which are not so proper for a Woman to write and the great
Terror that was upon his Mind with relation to his Wife for fear she should
have receivd any Injury from me and should communicate it farther and askd
her at last if she coud not procure him an opportunity to speak with me my
Governess gave him farther assurances of my being a Woman clear from any such
thing and that he was as entirely safe in that respect as he was with his own
Lady but as for seeing me she said it might be of dangerous Consequence but
however that she would talk with me and let him know endeavouring at the same
time to perswade him not to desire it and that it coud be of no Service to
him seeing she hopd he had no desire to renew the Correspondence and that on
my account it was a kind of putting my Life in his Hands
He told her he had a great desire to see me that he would give her any
assurances that were in his Power not to take any Advantages of me and that in
the first place he would give me a general release from all Demands of any kind
she insisted how it might tend to farther divulging the Secret and might be
injurious to him entreating him not to press for it so at length he desisted
They had some Discourse upon the Subject of the things he had lost and he
seemd to be very desirous of his Gold Watch and told her if she coud procure
that for him he would willingly give as much for it as it was worth she told
him she would endeavour to procure it for him and leave the valuing it to
himself
Accordingly the next Day she carried the Watch and he gave her 30 Guineas
for it which was more than I should have been able to make of it tho it seems
it cost much more he spoke something of his Perriwig which it seems cost him
threescore Guineas and his Snuffbox and in a few Days more she carried them
too which obligd him very much and he gave her Thirty more the next Day I
sent him his fine Sword and Cane gratis and demanded nothing of him but had
no mind to see him unless he might be satisfyd I knew who he was which he was
not willing to
Then he entered into a long Talk with her of the manner how she came to know
all this matter she formd a long Tale of that part how she had it from one
that I had told the whole Story to and that was to help me dispose of the
Goods and this Confident brought Things to her she being by Profession a
PawnBroker and she hearing of his Worships disaster guessd at the thing in
general that having gotten the Things into her Hands she had resolvd to come
and try as she had done She then gave him repeated Assurances that it should
never go out of her Mouth and tho she knew the Woman very well yet she had
not let her know meaning me any thing of who the Person was which by the way
was false but however it was not to his Damage for I never opend my Mouth of
it to any Body
I had a great many Thoughts in my Head about my seeing him again and was
often sorry that I had refusd it I was perswaded that if I had seen him and
let him know that I knew him I should have made some Advantage of him and
perhaps have had some Maintenance from him and tho it was a Life wicked
enough yet it was not so full of Danger as this I was ingagd in However those
Thoughts wore off and I declind seeing him again for that Time but my
Governess saw him often and he was very kind to her giving her something
almost every time he saw her one time in particular she found him very Merry
and as she thought he had some Wine in his Head then and he pressd her again
to let him see that Woman that as he said had bewitchd him so that Night my
Governess who was from the Beginning for my seeing him told him he was so
desirous of it that she could almost yield to it if she could prevail uponme
adding that if he would please to come to her House in the Evening she would
endeavour it upon his repeated Assurances of forgetting what was past
Accordingly she came to me and told me all the Discourse in short she soon
byassd me to consent in a Case which I had some regret in my Mind for
declining before so I prepard to see him I dressd me to all the Advantage
possible I assure you and for the first time usd a little Art I say for the
first Time for I had never yielded to the baseness of Paint before having
always had Vanity enough to believe I had no need of it
At the Hour appointed he came and as she observd before so it was plain
still that he had been drinking tho very far from what we call being in
Drink He appeard exceeding pleasd to see me and enterd into a long
Discourse with me upon the old Affair I begd his Pardon very often for my
Share of it protested I had not any such Design when first I met him that I
had not gone out with him but that I took him for a very civil Gentleman and
that he made me so many Promises of offering no Uncivility to me
He alledgd the Wine he drank and that he scarce knew what he did and that
if it had not been so he should never have taken the freedom with me he had
done He protested to me that he never touchd any Woman but me since he was
marryd to his Wife and it was a Surprize upon him Complimented me upon being
so particularly agreeable to him and the like and talkd so much of that kind
till I found he had talkd himself almost into a Temper to do the thing again
But I took him up short I protested I had never sufferd any Man to touch me
since my Husband died which was near eight Year he said he believd it and
added that Madam had intimated as much to him and that it was his Opinion of
that part which made him desire to see me again and since he had once broken in
upon his Virtue with me and found no ill Consequences he could be safe in
venturing again and so in short he went on to what I expected and to what
will not bear relating
My old Governess had foreseen it as well as I and therefore led him into a
Room which had not a Bed in it and yet had a Chamber within it which had a
Bed whither we withdrew for the rest of the Night and in short after some
time being together he went to Bed and lay there all Night I withdrew but
came again undressd before it was Day and lay with him the rest of the Time
Thus you see having committed a Crime once is a sad Handle to the
committing of it again all the Reflections wear off when the Temptation renews
itself had I not yielded to see him again the corrupt Desire in him had worn
off and tis very probable he had never fallen into it with any Body else as
I really believe he had not done before
When he went away I told him I hopd he was satisfyd he had not been
robbd again he told me he was fully satisfyd in that Point and putting his
Hand in his Pocket gave me five Guineas which was the first Money I had gaind
that way for many Years
I had several Visits of the like Kind from him but he never came into a
settled way of Maintenance which was what I would have been best pleasd with
Once indeed he askd me how I didtolive I answerd him pretty quick that I
assurd him I had never taken that Course that I took with him but that indeed
I workd at my Needle and could just Maintain my self that sometimes it was as
much as I was able to do and I shifted hard enough
He seemd to reflect upon himself that he should be the first Person to
lead me into that which he assurd me he never intended to do himself and it
touchd him a little he said that he should be the Cause of his own Sin and
mine too He would often make just Reflections also upon the Crime itself and
upon the particular Circumstances of it with respect to himself how Wine
introducd the Inclinations how the Devil led him to the Place and found out
an Object to tempt him and he made the Moral always himself
When these Thoughts were upon him he would go away and perhaps not come
again in a Months time or longer but then as the serious Part wore off the
lewd Part would wear in and then he came prepard for the wicked Part thus we
livd for some Time tho he did not KEEP as they call it yet he never faild
doing things that were handsome and sufficient to maintain me without Working
and which was better without following my old Trade
But this Affair had its End too for after about a Year I found that he did
not come so often as usual and at last he left it off altogether without any
Dislike or bidding adieu and so there was an End of that short Scene of Life
which added no great Store to me only to make more Work for Repentance
During this Interval I confind my self pretty much at Home at least being
thus provided for I made no Adventures no not for a Quarter of a Year after
but then finding the Fund fail and being loath to spend upon the main Stock I
began to think of my old Trade and to look abroad into the Street and my first
Step was lucky enough
I had dressd myself up in a very mean Habit for as I had several Shapes to
appear in I was now in an ordinary Stuff Gown a blue Apron and a Straw Hat
and I placd myself at the Door of the three Cups Inn in St Johnsstreet
There were several Carriers usd the Inn and the Stage Coaches for Barnet for
Toteridge and other Towns that Way stood always in the Street in the Evening
when they prepard to set out so that I was ready for any thing that offerd
The Meaning was this People come frequently with Bundles and small Parcels to
those Inns and call for such Carriers or Coaches as they want to carry them
into the Country and there generally attends Women Porters Wives or
Daughters ready to take in such things for the People that employ them
It happend very odly that I was standing at the InnGate and a Woman that
stood there before and which was the Porters Wife belonging to the Barnet
Stage Coach having observd me askd if I waited for any of the Coaches I
told her yes I waited for my Mistress that was coming to go to Barnet she
askd me who was my Mistress and I told her any Madams Name that came next me
but it seemd I happend upon a Name a Family of which Name livd at Hadly near
Barnet
I said no more to her or she to me a good while but by and by some Body
calling her at a Door a little way off she desird me that if any Body calld
for the Barnet Coach I would step and call her at the House which it seems was
an Alehouse I said yes very readily and away she went
She was no sooner gone but comes a Wench and a Child puffing and sweating
and asks for the Barnet Coach I answerd presently here Do you belong to the
Barnet Coach says she Yes Sweetheart said I What do you want I want Room
for two Passengers says she Where are they Sweetheart said I Heres this
Girl pray let her go into the Coach says she and Ill go and fetch my
Mistress make haste then Sweetheart says I for we may be full else The Maid
had a great Bundle under her Arm so she put the Child into the Coach and I
said you had best put your Bundle into the Coach too No said she I am afraid
some Body should slip it away from the Child give it me then said I take it
then says she and be sure you take care of it Ill answer for it said I if
it were Twenty Pound vallue There take it then says she and away she goes
As soon as I got the Bundle and the Maid was out of Sight I goes on
towards the Alehouse where the Porters Wife was so that if I met her I had
then only been going to give her the Bundle and to call her to her Business as
if I was going away and could stay no longer but as I did not meet her I
walkd away and turning into CharterhouseLane made off thro
CharterhouseYard into LongLane then into BartholomewClose so into Little
Britain and thro the BlueCoatHospital to NewgateStreet
To prevent being known I pulld off my blue Apron and wrapt the Bundle in
it which was made up in a Piece of painted Callico I also wrapt up my Straw
Hat in it and so put the Bundle upon my Head and it was very well that I did
thus for coming thro the BlueCoatHospital who should I meet but the Wench
that had given me the Bundle to hold it seems she was going with her Mistress
who she had been to fetch to the the Barnet Coaches
I saw she was in hast and I had no Business to stop her so away she went
and I brought my Bundle safe to my Governess there was no Money Plate or
Jewels in it but a very good Suit of Indian Damask a Gown and Petticoat a
lacd Head and Ruffles of very good Flanders Lace and some other Things such
as I knew very well the Value of
This was not indeed my own Invention but was given me by one that had
practisd it with Success and my Governess likd it extreamly and indeed I
tryd it again several times tho never twice near the same Place for the next
time I tryd in White Chappel just by the corner of PettiCoatLane where the
Coaches stand that go out to Stratford and Bow and that Side of the Country
and another time at the FlyingHorse without Bishopsgate where the Cheston
Coaches then lay and I had always the good Luck to come off with some Booty
Another time I placed myself at a Warehouse by the Waterside where the
Coasting Vessels from the North come such as NewCastle upon Tyne Sunderland
and other Places here the Warehouse being shut comes a young Fellow with a
Letter and he wanted a Box and a Hamper that was come from NewCastle upon
Tyne I askd him if he had the Marks of it so he shows me the Letter by
Vertue of which he was to ask for it and which gave an Account of the Contents
the Box being full of Linnen and the Hamper full of GlassWare I read the
Letter and took Care to see the Name and the Marks the Name of the Person
that sent the Goods and the Name of the Person they were sent to then I bad
the Messenger come in the Morning for that the WarehouseKeeper would not be
there any more that Night
Away went I and wrote a Letter from Mr John Richardson of NewCastle to
his dear Cousin Jemy Cole in London with an Account that he had sent by such a
Vessel for I remembered all the Particulars to a Tittle so many Pieces of
Huckaback Linnen and so many Ells of Dutch Holland and the Like in a Box and
a Hamper of FlintGlasses from Mr Henzills Glasshouse and that the Box was
marked IC No 1 and the Hamper was directed by a Label on the Cording
About an hour after I came to the Warehouse found the WarehouseKeeper
and had the Goods deliverd me without any Scruple the Value of the Linnen
being about 22 Pound
I could fill up this whole Discourse with the Variety of such Adventures
which daily Invention directed to and which I managd with the utmost
Dexterity and always with Success
At length as when does the Pitcher come safe Home that goes so often to the
Well I fell into some Broils which tho they could not affect me fatally yet
made me known which was the worst thing next to being found Guilty that could
befal me
I had taken up the Disguise of a Widows Dress it was without any real
Design in View but only waiting for any thing that might offer as I often did
It happend that while I was going along a Street in CoventGarden there was a
great Cry of stop Thief stop Thief some Artists had it seems put a Trick upon
a Shopkeeper and being pursued some of them fled one way and some another
and one of them was they said dressd up in Widows Weeds upon which the Mob
gatherd about me and some said I was the Person others said no immediately
came the Mercers Journeyman and he swore aloud I was the Person and so
seizd on me however when I was brought back by the Mob to the Mercers Shop
the Master of the House said freely that I was not the Woman and would have let
me go immediately but another fellow said gravely pray stay till Mr
meaning the Journeyman comes back for he knows her so they kept me near half
an Hour they had calld a Constable and he stood in the Shop as my Jayler in
talking with the Constable I enquird where he livd and what Trade he was the
Man not apprehending in the least what happend afterwards readily told me his
Name and where he livd and told me as a Jest that I might be sure to hear of
his Name when I came to the OldBayly
The Servants likewise usd me saucily and had much ado to keep their Hands
off me the Master indeed was civiler to me than they but he would not let me
go tho he ownd I was not in his Shop before
I began to be a little surly with him and told him I hopd he would not
take it ill if I made my self amends upon him another time and desird I might
send for Friends to see me have right done No he said he could give no such
liberty I might ask it when I came before the Justice of Peace and seeing I
threatend him he would take care of me in the mean time and would lodge me
safe in Newgate I told him it was his time now but it would be mine by and by
and governd my Passion as well as I was able however I spoke to the Constable
to call me a Porter which he did and then I calld for Pen Ink and Paper
but they would let me have none I askd the Porter his Name and where he
livd and the poor Man told it me very willingly I bad him observe and
remember how I was treated there that he saw I was detaind there by Force I
told him I should want him in another Place and it should not be the worse for
him to speak the Porter said he would serve me with all his Heart but Madam
says he let me hear them refuse to let you go then I may be able to speak the
plainer
With that I spoke aloud to the Master of the Shop and said Sir you know
in your own Conscience that I am not the Person you look for and that I was not
in your Shop before therefore I demand that you detain me here no longer or
tell me the reason of your stopping me the Fellow grew surlier upon this than
before and said he would do neither till he thought fit very well said I to
the Constable and to the Porter you will be pleasd to remember this
Gentlemen another time the Porter said yes Madam and the Constable began
not to like it and would have perswaded the Mercer to dismiss him and let me
go since as he said he ownd I was not the Person Good Sir says the Mercer
to him Tauntingly are you a Justice of Peace or a Constable I chargd you
with her pray do your Duty The Constable told him a little movd but very
handsomely I know my duty and what I am Sir I doubt you know hardly what you
are doing they had some other hard words and in the mean time the Journeymen
impudent and unmanly to the last degree used me barbarously and one of them
the same that first seizd upon me pretended he would search me and began to
lay Hands on me I spit in his Face calld out to the Constable and bad him
take notice of my usage and pray Mr Constable said I ask that Villains
Name pointing to the Man the Constable reprovd him decently told him that he
did not know what he did for he knew that his Master acknowledgd I was not the
Person and says the Constable I am afraid your Master is bringing himself and
me too into Trouble if this Gentlewoman comes to prove who she is and where
she was and it appears that she is not the Woman you pretend to Dam her says
the Fellow again with an impudent hardend Face she is the Lady you may depend
upon it Ill swear she is the same Body that was in the Shop and that I gave
the pieces of Satin that is lost into her own Hand you shall hear more of it
when Mr William and Mr Anthony those were other Journeymen come back they
will know her again as well as I
Just as the insolent Rogue was talking thus to the Constable comes back Mr
William and Mr Anthony as he calld them and a great Rabble with them
bringing along with them the true Widow that I was pretended to be and they
came sweating and blowing into the Shop and with a great deal of Triumph
dragging the poor Creature in a most butcherly manner up towards their Master
who was in the back Shop and they cryd out aloud heres the Widow Sir we
have catched her at last what do you mean by that says the Master why we have
her already there she sits and Mr says he can swear this is she The other
Man who they calld Mr Anthony replyd Mr may say what he will and swear
what he will but this is the Woman and theres the Remnant of Sattin she
stole I took it out of her Cloaths with my own Hand
I now began to take a better Heart but smild and said nothing the Master
lookd Pale the Constable turnd about and lookd at me let em alone Mr
Constable said I let em go on the Case was plain and could not be denied so
the Constable was chargd with the right Thief and the Mercer told me very
civily he was sorry for the Mistake and hopd I would not take it ill that
they had so many Things of this nature put upon them every Day that they could
not be blamd for being very sharp in doing themselves Justice Not take it ill
Sir said I how can I take it well if you had dismissd me when your insolent
Fellow seizd on me in the Street and brought me to you and when you yourself
acknowledgd I was not the Person I woud have put it by and not have taken it
ill because of the many ill things I believe you have put upon you daily but
your Treatment of me since has been unsufferable and especially that of your
Servant I must and will have Reparation for that
Then he began to parly with me said he would make me any reasonable
Satisfaction and would fain have had me told him what it was I expected I told
him I should not be my own Judge the Law should decide it for me and as I was
to be carried before a Magistrate I should let him hear there what I had to
say he told me there was no occasion to go before the Justice now I was at
liberty to go where I pleased and calling to the Constable told him he might
let me go or I was dischargd the Constable said calmly to him Sir you askd
me just now if I knew whether I was a Constable or a Justice and bad me do my
Duty and chargd me with this Gentlewoman as a Prisoner now Sir I find you do
not understand what is my Duty for you would make me a Justice indeed but I
must tell you it is not in my Power I may keep a Prisoner when I am chargd
with him but tis the Law and the Magistrate alone that can discharge that
Prisoner therefore tis a Mistake Sir I must carry her before a Justice now
whether you think well of it or not The Mercer was very high with the Constable
at first but the Constable happening to be not a hird Officer but a good
Substantial kind of Man I think he was a Cornchandler and a Man of good Sense
stood to his Business would not discharge me without going to a Justice of the
Peace and I insisted upon it too When the Mercer see that well says he to
the Constable you may carry her where you please I have nothing to say to her
but Sir says the Constable you will go with us I hope for tis you that
chargd me with her no not I says the Mercer I tell you I have nothing to
say to her But pray Sir do says the Constable I desire it of you for your own
sake for the Justice can do nothing without you Prithee Fellow says the
Mercer go about your Business I tell you I have nothing to say to the
Gentlewoman I charge you in the Kings Name to dismiss her Sir says the
Constable I find you dont know what it is to be a Constable I beg of you
dont oblige me to be rude to you I think I need not you are rude enough
already says the Mercer No Sir says the Constable I am not rude you have
broken the Peace in bringing an honest Woman out of the Street when she was
about her lawful Occasions confining her in your Shop and ill using her here
by your Servants and now can you say I am rude to you I think I am civil to
you in not commanding you in the Kings Name to go with me and charging every
Man I see that passes your Door to aid and assist me in carrying you by Force
this you know I have power to do and yet I forbear it and once more entreat
you to go with me Well he would not for all this and gave the Constable ill
Language However the Constable kept his Temper and would not be provokd and
then I put in and said come Mr Constable let him alone I shall find ways
enough to fetch him before a Magistrate I dont fear that but theres that
Fellow says I he was the Man that seized on me as I was innocently going
along the Street and you are a Witness of his Violence with me since give me
leave to charge you with him and carry him before a Justice yes Madam says
the Constable and turning to the Fellow come young Gentleman says be to the
Journeyman you must go along with us I hope you are not above the Constables
Power tho your Master is
The Fellow lookd like a condemnd Thief and hung back then lookd at his
Master as if he coud help him and he like a Fool encouragd the Fellow to
be rude and he truly resisted the Constable and pushd him back with a good
Force when he went to lay hold on him at which the Constable knockd him down
and calld out for help immediately the Shop was filld with People and the
Constable seizd the Master and Man and all his Servants
The first ill Consequence of this Fray was that the Woman who was really
the Thief made off and got clear away in the Crowd and two others that they
had stopd also whether they were really Guilty or not that I can say nothing
to
By this time some of his Neighbours having come in and seeing how things
went had endeavourd to bring the Mercer to his Senses and he began to be
convincd that he was in the wrong and so at length we went all very quietly
before the Justice with a Mob of about 500 People at our Heels and all the way
we went I could hear the People ask what was the matter and others reply and
say a Mercer had stopd a Gentlewoman instead of a Thief and had afterwards
taken the Thief and now the Gentlewoman had taken the Mercer and was carrying
him before the Justice this pleasd the People strangely and made the Crowd
encrease and they cryd out as they went which is the Rogue which is the
Mercer and especially the Women then when they saw him they cryed out thats
he thats he and every now and then came a good dab of Dirt at him and thus
we marchd a good while till the Mercer thought fit to desire the Constable to
call a Coach to protect himself from the Rabble so we Rode the rest of the way
the Constable and I and the Mercer and his Man
When we came to the Justice which was an ancient Gentleman in Bloomsbury
the Constable giving first a summary account of the Matter the Justice bad me
speak and tell what I had to say and first he asked my Name which I was very
loath to give but there was no remedy so I told him my Name was Mary Flanders
that I was a Widow my Husband being a Sea Captain dyed on a Voyage to Virginia
and some other Circumstances I told which he coud never contradict and that
I lodgd at present in Town with such a Person naming my Governess but that I
was preparing to go over to America where my Husbands Effects lay and that I
was going that Day to buy some Cloaths to put my self into second Mourning but
had not yet been in any Shop when that Fellow pointing to the Mercers
Journeyman came rushing upon me with such fury as very much frighted me and
carried me back to his Masters Shop where tho his Master acknowledgd I was
not the Person yet he would not dismiss me but chargd a Constable with me
Then I proceeded to tell how the Journeymen treated me how they would not
suffer me to send for any of my Friends how afterwards they found the real
Thief and took the Goods they had Lost upon her and all the particulars as
before
Then the Constable related his Case his Dialogue with the Mercer about
Discharging me and at last his Servants refusing to go with him when I had
Chargd him with him and his Master encouraging him to do so and at last his
striking the Constable and the like all as I have told it already
The Justice then heard the Mercer and his Man the Mercer indeed made a
long Harangue of the great loss they have daily by the Lifters and Thieves that
it was easy for them to Mistake and that when he found it he would have
dismissd me ampc as above as to the Journeyman he had very little to say
but that he pretended other of the Servants told him that I was really the
Person
Upon the whole the Justice first of all told me very courteously I was
dischargd that he was very sorry that the Mercers Man should in his eager
pursuit have so little Discretion as to take up an innocent Person for a
guilty that if he had not been so unjust as to detain me afterwards he
believd I would have forgiven the first Affront that however it was not in his
Power to award me any Reparation other than by openly reproving them which he
should do but he supposd I would apply to such Methods as the Law directed in
the mean time he would bind him over
But as to the Breach of the Peace committed by the Journeyman he told me he
should give me some satisfaction for that for he should commit him to Newgate
for Assaulting the Constable and for Assaulting of me also
Accordingly he sent the Fellow to Newgate for that Assault and his Master
gave Bail and so we came away but I had the satisfaction of seeing the Mob
wait upon them both as they came out Holooing and throwing Stones and Dirt at
the Coaches they rode in and so I came Home
After this hustle coming home and telling my Governess the Story she
falls a Laughing at me Why are you so merry says I the Story has not so much
Laughing room in it as you imagine I am sure I have had a great deal of Hurry
and Fright too with a Pack of ugly Rogues Laugh says my Governess I laugh
Child to see what a lucky Creature you are why this Jobb will be the best
Bargain to you that ever you made in your Life if you manage it well I
warrant you you shall make the Mercer pay 500l for Damages besides what you
shall get of the Journeyman
I had other Thoughts of the Matter than she had and especially because I
had given in my Name to the Justice of Peace and I knew that my Name was so
well known among the People at HickssHall the Old Baily and such Places
that if this Cause came to be tryd openly and my Name came to be enquird
into no Court would give much Damages for the Reputation of a Person of such a
Character however I was obligd to begin a Prosecution in Form and
accordingly my Governess found me out a very creditable sort of a Man to manage
it being an Attorney of very good Business and of good Reputation and she was
certainly in the right of this for had she employd a petty Fogging hedge
Solicitor or a Man not known I should have brought it to but little
I met this Attorney and gave him all the particulars at large as they are
recited above and he assurd me it was a Case as he said that he did not
Question but that a Jury would give very considerable Damages so taking his
full Instructions he began the Prosecution and the Mercer being Arrested gave
Bail a few Days after his giving Bail he comes with his Attorney to my
Attorney to let him know that he desird to Accomodate the matter that it was
all carried on in the Heat of an unhappy Passion that his Client meaning me
had a sharp provoking Tongue and that I usd them ill gibbing at them and
jeering them even while they believed me to be the very Person and that I had
provokd them and the like
My Attorney managd as well on my Side made them believe I was a Widow of
Fortune that I was able to do myself Justice and had great Friends to stand by
me too who had all made me promise to Sue to the utmost if it cost me a
Thousand Pound for that the Affronts I had receivd were insufferable
However they brought my Attorney to this that he promisd he would not blow
the Coals that if I enclind to an Accommodation he would not hinder me and
that he would rather perswade me to Peace than to War for which they told him
he should be no looser all which he told me very honestly and told me that if
they offerd him any Bribe I should certainly know it but upon the whole he
told me very honestly that if I would take his Opinion he would Advise me to
make it up with them for that as they were in a great Fright and were
desirous above all things to make it up and knew that let it be what it would
they must bear all the Costs he believed they would give me freely more than
any Jury would give upon a Trial I askd him what he thought they would be
brought to he told me he could not tell as to that but he would tell me more
when I saw him again
Some time after this they came again to know if he had talkd with me He
told them he had that he found me not so Averse to an Accommodation as some of
my Friends were who resented the Disgrace offerd me and set me on that they
blowd the Coals in secret prompting me to Revenge or to do myself Justice as
they calld it so that he could not tell what to say to it he told them he
would do his endeavour to persuade me but he ought to be able to tell me what
Proposal they made They pretended they could not make any Proposal because it
might be made use of against them and he told them that by the same Rule he
could not make any offers for that might be pleaded in Abatement of what
Damages a Jury might be inclind to give However after some Discourse and
mutual Promises that no Advantage should be taken on either Side by what was
transacted then or at any other of those Meetings they came to a kind of a
Treaty but so remote and so wide from one another, that nothing could be
expected from it for my Attorney demanded 500l and Charges and they offerd
50l without Charges so they broke off and the Mercer proposd to have a
Meeting with me myself and my Attorney agreed to that very readily
My Attorney gave me Notice to come to this Meeting in good Cloaths and with
some State that the Mercer might see I was something more than I seemd to be
that time they had me Accordingly I came in a new Suit of second Mourning
according to what I had said at the Justices I set myself out too as well as a
Widows dress would admit my Governess also furnishd me with a good Pearl
Necklace that shut in behind with a Locket of Diamonds which she had in Pawn
and I had a very good Gold Watch by my Side so that I made a very good Figure
and as I stayd till I was sure they were come I came in a Coach to the Door
with my Maid with me
When I came into the Room the Mercer was surprizd he stood up and made
his Bow which I took a little Notice of and but a little and went and sat
down where my own Attorney had appointed me to sit for it was his House after
a while the Mercer said he did not know me again and began to make some
Compliments I told him I believd he did not know me at first and that if he
had he would have not treated me as he did
He told me he was very sorry for what had happend and that it was to
testify the Willingness he had to make all possible Reparation that he had
appointed this Meeting that he hopd I would not carry things to Extremity
which might be not only too great a Loss to him but might be the Ruin of his
Business and Shop in which Case I might have the Satisfaction of repaying an
Injury with an Injury ten times greater but that I would then get nothing
whereas he was willing to do me any Justice that was in his Power without
putting himself or me to the Trouble or Charge of a Suit of Law
I told him I was glad to hear him talk so much more like a Man of Sense than
he did before that it was true Acknowledgment in most Cases of Affronts was
counted Reparation sufficient but this had gone too far to be made up so that
I was not revengeful nor did I seek his Ruin or any Mans else but that all
my Friends were unanimous not to let me so far neglect my Character as to
adjust a thing of this kind without Reparation That to be taken up for a Thief
was such an Indignity as could not be put up that my Character was above being
treated so by any that knew me but because in my Condition of a Widow I had
been careless of myself I might be taken for such a Creature but that for the
particular Usage I had from him afterward and then I repeated all as before it
was so provoking I had scarce Patience to repeat it
He acknowledgd all and was mighty humble indeed he came up to Hundred
Pounds and to pay all the Law Charges and added that he would make me a
Present of a very good Suit of Cloaths I came down to Three Hundred Pounds and
demanded that I should publish an Advertisement of the Particulars in the common
NewsPapers
This was a Clause he never could comply with however at last he came up
by good Management of my Attorney to 150l and a Suit of black Silk Cloaths and
there as it were at my Attorneys Request I complyd he paying my Attorneys
Bill and Charges and gave us a good Supper into the Bargain
When I came to receive the Money I brought my Governess with me dressd
like an old Dutchess and a Gentleman very well dressd who we pretended
Courted me but I calld him Cousin and the Lawyer was only to hint privately
to them that this Gentleman Courted the Widow
He treated us handsomely indeed and paid the Money chearfully enough so
that it cost him 200l in all or rather more At our last Meeting when all was
agreed the Case of the Journeyman came up and the Mercer begd very hard for
him told me he was a Man that had kept a Shop of his own and been in good
Business had a Wife and several Children and was very poor that he had
nothing to make Satisfaction with but should beg my Pardon on his Knees I had
no Spleen at the saucy Rogue nor were his Submissions any thing to me since
there was nothing to be got by him so I thought it was as good to throw that in
generously as not so I told him I did not desire the Ruin of any Man and
therefore at his Request I would forgive the Wretch it was below me to seek any
Revenge
When we were at Supper he brought the Poor Fellow in to make his
Acknowledgment which he would have done with as much mean Humility as his
Offence was with insulting Pride in which he was an Instance of a compleat
Baseness of Spirit imperious cruel and relentless when Uppermost abject and
low Spirited when down However I abated his Cringes told him I forgave him
and desird he might withdraw as if I did not care for the Sight of him tho I
had forgiven him
I was now in good Circumstances indeed if I could have known my Time for
leaving off and my Governess often said I was the richest of the Trade in
England and so I believe I was for I had 700l by me in Money besides
Cloaths Rings some Plate and two Gold Watches and all of them stoln for I
had innumerable Jobbs besides these I have mentioned O Had I even now had the
Grace of Repentance I had still Leisure to have lookd back upon my Follies
and have made some Reparation but the Satisfaction I was to make for the
Publick Mischiefs I had done was yet left behind and I could not forbear going
abroad again as I calld it now any more than I could when my Extremity really
drove me out for Bread
It was not long after the Affair with the Mercer was made up that I went
out in an Equipage quite different from any I had ever appeard in before I
dressd myself like a Begger Woman in the coursest and most despicable Rags I
could get and I walkd about Peering and Peeping into every Door and Window I
came near and indeed I was in such a Plight now that I knew as ill how to
behave in as ever I did in any I naturally abhord Dirt and Rags I had been
bred up Tite and Cleanly and could be no other whatever Condition I was in
so that this was the most uneasy Disguise to me that ever I put on I said
presently to my self that this would not do for this was a Dress that every
Body was shy and afraid of and I thought every Body lookd at me as if they
were afraid I should come near them least I should take something from them or
afraid to come near me least they should get something from me I wandred about
all the Evening the first Time I went out and made nothing of it and came Home
again wet dragld and tired However I went out again the next Night and then
I met with a little Adventure which had like to have cost me dear as I was
standing near a Tavern Door there comes a Gentleman on Horseback and lights at
the Door and wanting to go into the Tavern he calls one of the Drawers to hold
his Horse he stayd pretty long in the Tavern and the Drawer heard his Master
call and thought he would be angry with him seeing me stand by him he calld
to me here Woman says he hold this Horse a while till I go in if the
Gentleman comes hell give you something yes says I and takes the Horse and
walks off with him soberly and carryd him to my Governess
This had been a Booty to those that had understood it but never was poor
Thief more at a Loss to know what to do with any Thing that was stolen for when
I came Home my Governess was quite confounded and what to do with the
Creature we neither of us knew to send him to a Stable was doing nothing for
it was certain that Notice would be given in the Gazette and the Horse
describd so that we durst not go to fetch it again
All the Remedy we had for this unlucky Adventure was to go and set up the
Horse at an Inn and send a Note by a Porter to the Tavern that the Gentlemans
Horse that was lost at such a Time was left at such an Inn and that he might
be had there that the poor Woman that held him having led him about the
Street not being able to lead him back again had left him there we might have
waited till the owner had publishd and offerd a Reward but we did not care
to venture the receiving the Reward
So this was a Robbery and no Robbery for little was lost by it and nothing
was got by it and I was quite Sick of going out in a Beggars Dress it did not
answer at all and besides I thought it Ominous and Threatning
While I was in this Disguise I fell in with a parcel of Folks of a worse
Kind than any I ever sorted with and I saw a little into their Ways too these
were Coiners of Money and they made some very good Offers to me as to Profit
but the Part they would have had me embarkd in was the most dangerous I mean
that of the very working of the Dye as they call it which had I been taken
had been certain Death and that at a Stake I say to be burnt to Death at a
Stake so that tho I was to Appearance but a Beggar and they promisd
Mountains of Gold and Silver to me to engage yet it would not do tis true
if I had been realy a Beggar or had been desperate as when I began I might
perhaps have closed with it for what care they to Dye that cannot tell how to
Live But at present that was not my Condition at least I was for no such
terrible Risques as those besides the very Thoughts of being burnt at a Stake
struck Terror to my very Soul chilld my Blood and gave me the Vapours to such
a Degree as I could not think of it without trembling
This put an End to my Disguise too for tho I did not like the Proposal
yet I did not tell them so but seemd to relish it and promisd to meet again
but I durst see them no more for if I had seen them and not complyd tho I
had declind it with the greatest Assurances of Secresy in the World they would
have gone near to have murderd me to make sure Work and make themselves easy
as they call it what kind of Easiness that is they may best judge that
understand how easy Men are that can murder People to prevent Danger
This and Horse stealing were things quite out of my Way and I might easily
resolve I would have no more to say to them my Business seemd to lye another
Way and tho it had hazard enough in it too yet it was more suitable to me
and what had more of Art in it and more Chances for a coming off if a Surprize
should happen
I had several Proposals made also to me about that Time to come into a Gang
of House Breakers but that was a thing I had no mind to venture at neither any
more than I had at the Coining Trade I offerd to go along with two Men and a
Woman that made it their Business to get into Houses by Stratagem I was
willing enough to venture but there were three of them already and they did
not care to part nor I to have too many in a Gang so I did not close with
them and they paid dear for their next Attempt
But at length I met with a Woman that had often told me what Adventures she
had made and with Success at the Waterside and I closd with her and we
droveon our Business pretty well One Day we came among some Dutch People at St
Catherines where we went on pretence to buy Goods that were privately got on
Shore I was two or three times in a House where we saw a good Quantity of
prohibited Goods and my Companion once brought away three Peices of Dutch black
Silk that turnd to good Account and I had my Share of it but in all the
Journeys I made by myself I could not get an Opportunity to do any thing so I
laid it aside for I had been there so often that they began to suspect
something
This baulkd me a little and I resolvd to push at something or other for
I was not usd to come back so often without Purchase so the next Day I dressd
myself up fine and took a Walk to the other End of the Town I passd thro the
Exchange in the Strand but had no Notion of finding any thing to do there when
on a sudden I saw a great Clutter in the Place and all the People Shopkeepers
as well as others standing up and staring and what should it be but some
great Dutchess come into the Exchange and they said the Queen was coming I set
myself close up to a Shopside with my back to the Compter as if to let the
Crowd pass by when keeping my Eye upon a parcel of Lace which the Shopkeeper
was showing to some Ladies that stood by me the Shopkeeper and her Maid were
so taken up with looking to see who was a coming and what Shop they would go
to that I found means to slip a Paper of Lace into my Pocket and come clear
off with it so the Lady Millener paid dear enough for her gaping after the
Queen
I went off from the Shop as if driven along by the Throng and mingling
myself with the Crowd went out at the other Door of the Exchange and so got
away before they missd their Lace and because I would not be followd I
calld a Coach and shut myself up in it I had scarce shut the Coach Doors but
I saw the Milleners Maid and five or six more come running out into the Street
and crying out as if they were frighted they did not cry stop Thief because no
body ran away but I coud hear the Word robbd and Lace two or three times
and saw the Wench wringing her Hands and run staring too and again like one
scard the Coachman that had taken me up was getting up into the Box but was
not quite up and the Horses had not begun to move so that I was terrible
uneasy and I took the Packet of Lace and laid it ready to have dropt it out at
the Flap of the Coach which opens before just behind the Coachman but to my
great satisfaction in less than a Minute the Coach began to move that is to
say as soon as the Coachman had got up and spoken to his Horses so he drove
away and I brought off my Purchase which was worth near twenty Pound
The next Day I dressd me up again but in quite different Cloaths and
walkd the same way again but nothing offerd till I came into St Jamess Park
I saw abundance of fine Ladies in the Park walking in the Mall and among the
rest there was a little Miss a young Lady of about 12 or 13 Years old and she
had a Sister as I supposd with her that might be about Nine I observd the
biggest had a fine gold Watch on and a good Necklace of Pearl and they had a
Footman in Livery with them but as it is not usual for the Footmen to go behind
the Ladies in the Mall so I observd the Footman stopd at their going into the
Mall and the biggest of the Sisters spoke to him to bid him be just there when
they came back
When I heard her dismiss the Footman I stepd up to him and askd him
what little Lady that was and held a little Chat with him about what a pretty
Child it was with her and how Genteel and well Carriagd the eldest would be
how womanish and how Grave and the Fool of a Fellow told me presently who she
was that she was Sir Thomas s eldest Daughter of Essex and that she was a
great Fortune that her Mother was not come to Town yet but she was with Sir
William s Lady at her Lodgings in SuffolkStreet and a great deal more
that they had a Maid and a Woman to wait on them besides Sir Thomass Coach
the Coachman and himself and that young Lady was Governess to the whole Family
as well here as at Home and told me abundance of things enough for my business
I was well dressd and had my gold Watch as well as she so I left the
Footman and I puts myself in a Rank with this Lady having stayd till she had
taken one Turn in the Mall and was going forward again by and by I saluted
her by her Name with the Title of Lady Betty I askd her when she heard from
her Father when my Lady her Mother would be in Town and how she did
I talkd so familiarly to her of her whole Family that she coud not
suspect but that I knew them all intimately I askd her why she would come
Abroad without Mrs Chime with her that was the Name of her Woman to take care
of Mrs Judith that was her Sister Then I enterd into a long Chat with her
about her Sister what a fine little Lady she was and askd her if she had
learnd French and a Thousand such little Things when on a sudden the Guards
came and the Crowd run to see the King go by to the ParliamentHouse
The Ladies run all to the Side of the Mall and I helpd my Lady to stand
upon the edge of the Boards on the side of the Mall that she might be high
enough to see and took the little one and lifted her quite up during which I
took care to convey her gold Watch so clean away from the Lady Betty that she
never missd it till the Crowd was gone and she was gotten into the middle of
the Mall
I took my leave in the very Crowd and said as if in haste dear Lady Betty
take care of your little Sister and so the Crowd did as it were Thrust me
away and that I was unwilling to take my leave
The hurry in such Cases is immediately over and the Place clear as soon as
the King is gone by but as there is always a great running and clutter just as
the King passes so having dropd the two little Ladies and done my Business
with them without any Miscarriage I kept hurrying on among the Crowd as if I
run to see the King and so I kept before the Crowd till I came to the End of
the Mall when the King going on to ward the HorseGuards I went forward to the
Passage which went then thro against the End of the HayMarket and there I
bestowd a Coach upon my self and made off and I confess I have not yet been
so good as my Word viz to go and visit my Lady Betty
I was once in the Mind to venture staying with Lady Betty till she mist
the Watch and so have made a great Outcry about it with her and have got her
into her Coach and put my self in the Coach with her and have gone Home with
her for she appeard so fond of me and so perfectly deceivd by my so readily
talking to her of all her Relations and Family that I thought it was very easy
to push the thing farther and to have got at least the NeckLace of Pearl but
when I considerd that tho the Child would not perhaps have suspected me other
People might and that if I was searchd I should be discoverd I thought it
was best to go off with what I had got
I came accidentally afterwards to hear that when the young Lady missd her
Watch she made a great Outcry in the Park and sent her Footman up and down
to see if he could find me she having describd me so perfectly that he knew
it was the same Person that had stood and talked so long with him and askd him
so many Questions about them but I was gone far enough out of their reach
before she could come at her Footman to tell him the Story
I made another Adventure after this of a Nature different from all I had
been concernd in yet and this was at a Gaming House near Covent Garden
I saw several People go in and out and I stood in the Passage a good while
with another Woman with me and seeing a Gentleman go up that seemd to be of
more than ordinary Fashion I said to him Sir pray dont they give Women Leave
to go up Yes Madam says he and to play too if they please I mean so Sir
said I and with that he said he would introduce me if I had a Mind so I
followd him to the Door and he looking in there Madam says he are the
Gamesters if you have a mind to venture I lookd in and said to my Comerade
aloud heres nothing but Men I wont venture at which one of the Gentlemen
cryd out you need not be afraid Madam heres none but fair Gamesters you are
very welcome to come and set what you please so I went a little nearer and
lookd on and some of them brought me a Chair and I sat down and see the Box
and Dice go round a Pace then I said to my Comrade the gentlemen play too high
for us come let us go
The People were all very civil and one Gentleman encourag me and said
come Madam if you please to venture if you dare trust me Ill answer for it
you shall have nothing put upon you here no Sir said I smiling I hope the
Gentlemen would not Cheat a Woman but still I declind venturing tho I pulld
out a Purse with Money in it that they might see I did not want Money
After I had sat a while one Gentleman said to me Jeering come Madam I see
you are afraid to venture for your self I always had good Luck with the Ladies
you shall Set for me if you wont Set for yourself I told him Sir I should be
very loth to loose your Money tho I added I am pretty lucky too but the
Gentlemen play so high that I dare not venture my own
Well well says he theres ten Guineas Madam Set them for me so I took
the Money and set himself looking on I run out the Guineas by One and Two at a
Time and then the Box coming to the next Man to me my Gentleman gave me ten
Guineas more and made me Set Five of them at once and the Gentleman who had
the Box threw out so there was five Guineas of his Money again he was
encouragd at this and made me take the Box which was a bold Venture However
I held the Box so long that I gaind him his whole Money and had a Handful of
Guineas in my Lap and which was the better Luck when I threw out I threw but
at One or Two of those that had Set me and so went off easie
When I was come this Length I offerd the Gentleman all the Gold for it
was his own and so would have had him play for himself pretending that I did
not understand the Game well enough He laughd and said if I had but good
Luck it was no matter whether I understood the Game or no but I should not
leave off However he took out the 15 Guineas that he had put in first and bad
me play with the Rest I would have him to have seen how much I had got but he
said no no dont tell them I believe you are very honest and tis bad Luck
to tell them so I playd on
I understood the Game well enough tho I pretended I did not and playd
cautiously which was to keep a good Stock in my Lap out of which I every now
and then conveyd some into my Pocket but in such a manner as I was sure he
could not see it
I playd a great while and had very good Luck for him but the last time I
held the Box they Set me high and I threw boldly at all and held the Box
till I had gaind near fourscore Guineas but lost above half of it back at the
last throw so I got up for I was afraid I should lose it all back again and
said to him pray come Sir now and take it and play for your self I think I
have done pretty well for you he would have had me playd on but it grew late
and I desird to be excusd When I gave it up to him I told him I hopd he
would give me Leave to tell it now that I might see what he had gaind and how
Lucky I had been for him when I told them there were threescore and three
Guineas Ay says I if it had not been for that unlucky Throw I had got you a
hundred Guineas so I gave him all the Money but he would not take it till I
had put my Hand into it and taken some for my self and bid me please my self
I refusd it and was positive I would not take it my self if he had a Mind to
do any Thing of that Kind it should be all his own doings
The rest of the Gentlemen seeing us striving cryd give it her all but I
absolutely refusd that then one of them said Dn ye Jack half it with her
dont you know you should be always upon even Terms with the Ladies so in
short he divided it with me and I brought away 30 Guineas besides about 43
which I had stole privately which I was sorry for because he was so generous
Thus I brought Home 73 Guineas and let my old Governess see what good Luck
I had at Play However it was her Advice that I should not venture again and I
took her Council for I never went there any more for I knew as well as she if
the Itch of Play came in I might soon lose that and all the rest of what I had
got
Fortune had smild upon me to that Degree and I had thriven so much and my
Governess too for she always had a Share with me that really the old
Gentlewoman began to talk of leaving off while we were well and being satisfyd
with what we had got but I know not what Fate guided me I was as backward to
it now as she was when I proposd it to her before and so in an ill Hour we
gave over the Thoughts of it for the present and in a Word I grew more hardend
and audacious than ever and the Success I had made my Name as famous as any
Thief of my sort ever had been
I had sometimes taken the Liberty to play the same Game over again which is
not according to Practice which however succeeded not amiss but generally I
took up new Figures and contrivd to appear in new Shapes every time I went
abroad
It was now a rumbling time of the Year and the Gentlemen being most of them
gone out of Town Tunbridge and Epsom and such Places were full of People but
the City was thin and I thought our Trade felt it a little as well as others
so that at the latter End of the Year I joynd my self with a Gang who usually
go every Year to Sturbridge Fair and from thence to Bury Fair in Suffolk We
promised ourselves great Things here but when I came to see how things were I
was weary of it presently for except meer picking of Pockets there was little
worth meddling with neither if a Booty had been made was it so easy carrying
it off nor was there such a Variety of Occasion for Business in our Way as in
London all that I made of the whole Journey was a Gold Watch at Bury Fair and
a small Parcel of Linnen at Cambridge which gave me Occasion to take Leave of
the Place It was an old Bite and I thought might do with a Country
ShopKeeper tho in London it would not
I bought at a Linnen Drapers Shop not in the Fair but in the Town of
Cambridge as much fine Holland and other Things as came to about seven Pound
when I had done I bad them be sent to such an Inn where I had taken up my
Being the same Morning as if I was to Lodge there that Night
I orderd the Draper to send them Home to me about such an Hour to the Inn
where I lay and I would pay him his Money at the Time appointed the Draper
sends the Goods and I placd one of our Gang at the Chamber Door and when the
InnKeepers Maid brought the Messenger to the Door who was a young Fellow an
Apprentice almost a Man she tells him her Mistress was a sleep but if he
would leave the Things and call in about an Hour I should be awake and he
might have the Money he left the Parcel very readily and goes his way and in
about half an Hour my Maid and I walkd off and that very Evening I hired a
Horse and a Man to ride before me and went to NewMarket and from thence got
my Passage in a Coach that was not quite full to St Edmunds Bury where as I
told you I could make but little of my Trade only at a little country Opera
House I got a Gold Watch from a Ladies Side who was not only intollerably
Merry but a little Fuddled which made my Work much easier
I made off with this little Booty to Ipswich and from thence to Harwich
where I went into an Inn as if I had newly arrivd from Holland not doubting
but I should make some Purchase among the Foreigners that came on Shore there
but I found them generally empty of Things of Value except what was in their
Portmantuas and Dutch Hampers which were always guarded by Footmen however I
fairly got one of their Portmantuas one Evening out of the Chamber where the
Gentleman lay the Footman being fast a sleep on the Bed and I suppose very
Drunk
The Room in which I Lodgd lay next to the Dutchmans and having draggd
the heavy thing with much ado out of the Chamber into mine I went out into the
Street to see if I could find any possibility of carrying it off I walkd
about a great while but could see no probability either of getting out the
Thing or of conveying away the Goods that was in it the Town being so small
and I a perfect Stranger in it so I was returning with a Resolution to carry it
back again and leave it where I found it just in that very Moment I heard a
Man make a Noise to some People to make haste for the Boat was going to put
off and the Tyde would be spent I calld the Fellow What Boat is it Friend
said I that you belong to The Ipswich Wherry Madam says he When do you go
off says I This Moment Madam says he Do you want to go thither Yes said I
if you can stay till I fetch my Things Where are your Things Madam says he
At such an Inn said I Well Ill go with you Madam says he very civilly and
bring them for you come away then says I and takes him with me
The People of the Inn were in a great Hurry the PacketBoat from Holland
being just come in and two Coaches just come also with Passengers from London
for another PacketBoat that was going off for Holland which Coaches were to go
back next Day with the Passengers that were just Landed In this Hurry it was
that I came to the Barr and paid my Reckoning telling my Landlady I had gotten
my Passage by Sea in a Wherry
These Wherries are large Vessels with good Accommodation for carrying
Passengers from Harwich to London and tho they are calld Wherries which is a
Word usd in the Thames for a small Boat rowd with one or two Men yet these
are Vessels able to carry twenty Passengers and ten or fiveteen Ton of Goods
and fitted to bear the Sea all this I had found out by enquiring the Night
before into the several Ways of going to London
My Landlady was very Courteous took my Money for the Reckoning but was
calld away all the House being in a Hurry so I left her took the Fellow up
into my Chamber gave him the Trunk or Portmantua for it was like a Trunk and
wrapt it about with an old Apron and he went directly to his Boat with it and
I after him no Body asking us the least Question about it as for the drunken
Dutch Footman he was still a sleep and his Master with other Foreign Gentlemen
at Supper and very merry below so I went clean off with it to Ipswich and
going in the Night the People of the House knew nothing but that I was gone to
London by the Harwich Wherry as I had told my Landlady
I was plagud at Ipswich with the CustomHouse Officers who stopd my
Trunk as I calld it and would open and search it I was willing I told them
that they should Search it but my Husband had the Key and that he was not yet
come from Harwich this I said that if upon searching it they should find all
the things be such as properly belongd to a Man rather than a Woman it should
not seem strange to them however they being positive to open the Trunk I
consented to have it broken open that is to say to have the Lock taken off
which was not difficult
They found nothing for their turn for the Trunk had been searchd before
but they discoverd several Things much to my Satisfaction as particularly a
Parcelof Money in French Pistoles and some Dutch Ducatoons or Rix Dollars and
the rest was chiefly two Perriwigs wearing Linnen Rasors WashBalls Perfumes
and other useful Things Necessary for a Gentleman which all passd for my
Husbands and so I was quit of them
It was now very early in the Morning and not Light and I knew not well
what Course to take for I made no Doubt but I should be pursud in the Morning
and perhaps be taken with the things about me so I resolvd upon taking new
Measures I went publickly to an Inn in the Town with my Trunk as I calld it
and having taken the Substance out I did not think the Lumber of it worth my
concern however I gave it the Landlady of the House with a Charge to take Care
of it and lay it up safe till I should come again and away I walkd into the
Street
When I was got into the Town a great way from the Inn I met with an antient
Woman who had just opend her Door and I fell into Chat with her and askd her
a great many wild Questions of things all remote to my Purpose and Design but
in my Discourse I found by her how the Town was situated that I was in a Street
which went out towards Hadly but that such a Street went towards the
Waterside such a Street went into the Heart of the Town and at last such a
Street went towards Colchester and so the London Road lay there
I had soon my Ends of this old Woman for I only wanted to know which was
the London Road and away I walkd as fast as I could not that I intended to go
on Foot either to London or to Colchester but I wanted to get quietly away
from Ipswich
I walkd about two or three Mile and then I met a plain Countryman who was
busy about some Husbandry work I did not know what and I askd him a great many
Questions first not much to the purpose but at last told him I was going for
London and the Coach was full and I coud not get a Passage and askd him if
he coud not tell me where to hire a Horse that would carry double and an
honest Man to ride before me to Colchester so that I might get a Place there in
the Coaches the honest Clown lookd earnestly at me and said nothing for above
half a Minute when scratching his Pole a Horse say you and to Colchester to
carry double why yes Mistress alackaday you may have Horses enough for
Money well Friend says I that I take for granted I dont expect it without
Money Why but Mistress says he how much are you willing to give nay says I
again Friend I dont know what your Rates are in the Country here for I am a
Stranger but if you can get one for me get it as Cheap as you can and Ill
give you somewhat for your Pains
Why thats honestly said too says the Countryman not so honest neither
said I to myself if thou knewest all why Mistress says he I have a Horse
that will carry Double and I dont much care if I go myself with you an you
like Will you says I well I believe you are an honest Man if you will I
shall be glad of it Ill pay you in Reason why look ye Mistress says he I
wont be out of Reason with you then if I carry you to Colchester it will be
worth five Shillings for myself and my Horse for I shall hardly come back to
Night
In short I hird the honest Man and his Horse but when we came to a Town
upon the Road I do not remember the Name of it but it stands upon a River I
pretended myself very ill and I could go no farther that Night but if he would
stay there with me because I was a Stranger I would pay him for himself and
his Horse with all my Heart
This I did because I knew the Dutch Gentlemen and their Servants would be
upon the Road that Day either in the Stage Coaches or riding Post and I did
not know but the drunken Fellow or some body else that might have seen me at
Harwich might see me again and I thought that in one Days stop they would be
all gone by
We lay all that Night there and the next Morning it was not very early when
I set out so that it was near Ten aClock by that time I got to Colchester It
was no little Pleasure that I saw the Town where I had so many pleasant Days
and I made many Enquiries after the good old Friends I had once had there but
could make little out they were all dead or removd The young Ladies had been
all married or gone to London the old Gentleman and the old Lady that had
been my early Benefactress all dead and which troubled me most the young
Gentleman my first Lover and afterwards my BrotherinLaw was dead but two
Sons Men grown were left of him but they too were Transplanted to London
I dismissd my old Man here and stayd incognito for three or four Days in
Colechester and then took a Passage in a Waggon because I would not venture
being seen in the Harwich Coaches but I needed not have used so much Caution
for there was no Body in Harwich but the Woman of the House could have known
me nor was it rational to think that she considering the hurry she was in and
that she never saw me but once and that by Candle light should have ever
discoverd me
I was now returnd to London and tho by the Accident of the last
Adventure I got something considerable yet I was not fond of any more Country
rambles nor should I have venturd Abroad again if I had carried the Trade on
to the End of my Days I gave my Governess a History of my Travels she likd
the Harwich Journey well enough and in Discoursing of these things between
ourselves she observd that a Thief being a Creature that Watches the
Advantages of other Peoples mistakes tis impossible but that to one that is
vigilant and industrious many Opportunities must happen and therefore she
thought that one so exquisitely keen in the Trade as I was would scarce fail of
something wherever I went
On the other hand every Branch of my Story if duly considerd may be
useful to honest People and afford a due Caution to People of some sort or
other to Guard against the like Surprizes and to have their Eyes about them
when they have to do with Strangers of any kind for tis very seldom that some
Snare or other is not in their way The Moral indeed of all my History is left
to be gatherd by the Senses and Judgment of the Reader I am not Qualified to
preach to them let the Experience of one Creature compleatly Wicked and
compleatly Miserable be a Storehouse of useful warning to those that read
I am drawing now towards a new Variety of Life Upon my return being
hardened by a long Race of Crime and Success unparalleld I had as I have
said no thoughts of laying down a Trade which if I was to judge by the Example
of others must however End at last in Misery and Sorrow
It was on the Christmasday following in the Evening that to finish a long
Train of Wickedness I went Abroad to see what might offer in my way when going
by a Working SilverSmiths in Fosterlane I saw a tempting Bait indeed and
not to be resisted by one of my Occupation for the Shop had no Body in it and
a great deal of loose Plate lay in the Window and at the Seat of the Man who I
suppose Workd at one side of the Shop
I went boldly in and was just going to lay my Hand upon a peice of Plate
and might have done it and carried it clear off for any care that the Men who
belongd to the Shop had taken of it but an officious Fellow in a House on the
other Side of the Way seeing me go in and that there was no Body in the Shop
comes running over the Street and without asking me what I was or who seizes
upon me and cries out for the People of the House
I had not touchd any thing in the Shop and seeing a glimpse of some Body
running over I had so much presence of Mind as to knock very hard with my Foot
on the Floor of the House and was just calling out too when the Fellow laid
Hands on me
However as I had always most Courage when I was in most danger so when he
laid Hands on me I stood very high upon it that I came in to buy half a Dozen
of silver Spoons and to my good Fortune it was a Silversmiths that sold
Plate as well as workd Plate for other Shops The Fellow laughd at that
Part and put such a value upon the Service that he had done his Neighbour that
he would have it be that I came not to buy but to steal and raising a great
Crowd I said to the Master of the Shop who by this time was fetchd Home from
some Neighbouring Place that it was in vain to make a Noise and enter into
Talk there of the Case the Fellow had insisted that I came to steal and he
must prove it and I desird we might go before a Magistrate without any more
Words for I began to see I should be too hard for the Man that had seizd me
The Master and Mistress of the Shop were really not so violent as the man
from tother side of the Way and the Man said Mistress you might come into the
Shop with a good Design for ought I know but it seemd a dangerous thing for
you to come into such a Shop as mine is when you see no Body there and I
cannot do so little Justice to my Neightbour who was so kind as not to
acknowledge he had Reason on his Side tho upon the whole I do not find you
attemptd to take any thing and I really know not what to do in it I pressd
him to go before a Magistrate with me and if any thing coud be provd on me
that was like a design I should willingly submit but if not I expected
reparation
Just while we were in this Debate and a Crowd of People gatherd about the
Door came by Sir TB an Alderman of the City and Justice of the Peace and
the Goldsmith hearing of it entreated his Worship to come in and decide the
Case
Give the Goldsmith his due he told his Story with a great deal of Justice
and Moderation and the Fellow that had come over and seizd upon me told his
with as much Heat and foolish Passion which did me good still It came then to
my turn to speak and I told his Worship that I was a Stranger in London being
newly come out of the North that I Lodgd in such a Place that I was passing
this Street and went into a Goldsmiths Shop to buy half a Dozen of Spoons by
great good Luck I had an old silver Spoon in my Pocket which I pulld out and
told him I had carried that Spoon to match it with half a Dozen of new ones
that it might match some I had in the Country
That seeing no Body in the Shop I knockd with my Foot very hard to make
the People hear and had also calld aloud with my Voice Tis true there was
loose Plate in the Shop but that no Body coud say I had touchd any of it
that a Fellow came running into the Shop out of the Street and laid Hands on me
in a furious manner in the very Moment while I was calling for the People of
the House that if he had really had a mind to have done his Neighbour any
Service he should have stood at a distance and silently watchd to see whether
I had touchd any thing or no and then have taken me in the Fact: That is very
true says Mr Alderman and turning to the Fellow that stopt me he askd him
if it was true that I knockd with my Foot he said yes I had knockd but that
might be because of his coming Nay says the Alderman taking him short now you
contradict yourself for just now you said she was in the Shop with her back to
you and did not see you till you came upon her now it was true that my back
was partly to the Street but yet as my Business was of a kind that requird me
to have Eyes every way so I really had a glance of him running over as I said
before tho he did not perceive it
After a full hearing the Alderman gave it as his Opinion that his
Neighbour was under a Mistake and that I was Innocent and the Goldsmith
acquiescd in it too and his Wife and so I was dismissd but as I was going
to depart Mr Alderman said but bold Madam if you were designing to buy
Spoons I hope you will not let my Friend here lose his Customer by the Mistake
I readily answered no Sir Ill buy the Spoons still if he can Match my odd
Spoon which I brought for a Pattern and the Goldsmith shewd me some of the
very same Fashion so he weighd the Spoons and they came to five and thirty
Shillings so I pulls out my Purse to pay him in which I had near 20 Guineas
for I never went without such a Sum about me whatever might happen and I found
it of use at other times as well as now
When Mr Alderman saw my Money be said well Madam now I am satifyd you
were wrongd and it was for this Reason that I movd you should buy the
Spoons and staid till you had bought them for if you had not had Money to pay
for them I should have suspected that you did not come into the Shop to buy
for the sort of People who come upon those Designs that you have been Chargd
with are seldom troubld with much Gold in their Pockets as I see you are
I smild and told his Worship that then I owd something of his Favour to
my Money but I hopd he saw Reason also in the Justice he had done me before
he said yes he had but this had confirmd his Opinion and he was fully
satisfyd now of my having been injurd so I came well off from an Affair in
which I was at the very brink of Destruction
It was but three Days after this that not at all made Cautious by my former
Danger as I usd to be and still pursuing the Art which I had so long been
employd in I venturd into a House where I saw the Doors open and furnishd
myself as I thought verily without being perceivd with two Peices of flowerd
Silks such as they call Brocaded Silk very rich it was not a Mercers Shop
nor a Warehouse of a Mercer but lookd like a private DwellingHouse and was
it seems Inhabited by a Man that sold Goods for a Weaver to the Mercers like a
Broker or Factor
That I may make short of the black Part of this Story I was attackd by two
Wenches that came open Mouthd at me just as I was going out at the Door and
one of them pulld me back into the Room while the other shut the Door upon me
I would have given them good Words but there was no room for it two fiery
Dragons coud not have been more furious they Tore my Cloaths Bullyd and
Roard as if they would have murtherd me the Mistress of the House came next
and then the Master and all outrageous
I gave the Master very good Words told him the Door was open and things
were a Temptation to me that I was poor and distressd and Poverty was what
many could not resist and begd him with Tears to have pity on me the
Mistress of the House was movd with Compassion and enclind to have let me go
and had almost perswaded her Husband to it also but the sawcy Wenches were run
even before they were sent and had fetchd a Constable and then the Master
said he could not go back I must go before a Justice and answerd his Wife
that he might come into Trouble himself if he should let me go
The sight of a Constable indeed struck me and I thought I should have sunk
into the Ground I fell into faintings and indeed the People themselves thought
I would have died when the Woman argued again for me and entreated her
Husband seeing they had lost nothing to let me go I offerd him to pay for the
two Peices whatever the value was tho I had not got them and argud that as
he had his Goods and had really lost nothing it would be cruel to pursue me to
Death and have my Blood for the bare Attempt of taking them I put the Constable
in mind too that I had broke no Doors nor carried any thing away and when I
came to the Justice and pleaded there that I had neither broken any thing to
get in nor carried any thing out the Justice was enclind to havereleasd me
but the first sawcy Jade that stopd me affirming that I was going out with the
Goods but that she stopd me and pulld me back the Justice upon that point
committed me and I was carried to Newgate that horrid Place my very Blood
chills at the mention of its Name the Place where so many of my Comrades had
been lockd up and from whence they went to the fatal Tree the Place where my
Mother suffered so deeply where I was brought into the World and from whence I
expected no Redemption but by an infamous Death To conclude the Place that
had so long expected me and which with so much art and Success I had so long
avoided
I was now fixd indeed tis impossible to describe the terror of my Mind
when I was first brought in and when I lookd round upon all the horrors of
that dismal Place I lookd on my self as lost and that I had nothing to think
of but of going out of the World and that with the utmost Infamy the hellish
Noise the Roaring Swearing and Clamour the Stench and Nastiness and all the
dreadful Afflicting things that I saw there joynd to make the Place seem an
Emblem of Hell itself and a kind of an Entrance into it
Now Ireproachd my self with the many hints I had had as I have mentiond
above from my own Reason from the Sense of my good Circumstances and of the
many Dangers I had escapd to leave off while I was well and how I had
withstood them all and hardened my Thoughts against all Fear it seemd to me
that I was hurried on by an inevitable Fate to this Day of Misery and that now
I was to Expiate all my Offences at the Gallows that I was now to give
satisfaction to Justice with my Blood and that I was to come to the last Hour
of my Life and of my Wickedness together These things pourd themselves in
upon my Thoughts in a confusd manner and left me overwhelmd with Melancholly
and Despair
Then I repented heartily of all my Life past but that Repentance yielded me
no Satisfaction no Peace no not in the least because as I said to myself it
was repenting after the Power of farther Sinning was taken away I seemd not to
Mourn that I had committed such Crimes and for the Fact as it was an Offence
against God and my Neighbour but that I was to be punishd for it I was a
Penitent as I thought not that I had sinnd but that I was to suffer and this
took away all the Comfort of my Repentance in my own Thoughts
I got no sleep for several Nights or Days after I came into that wretchd
Place and glad I woud have been for some time to have died there tho I did
not consider dying as it ought to be considerd neither indeed nothing could be
filld with more horror to my Imagination than the very Place nothing was more
odious to me than the Company that was there O if I had but been sent to any
Place in the World and not to Newgate I should have thought myself happy
In the next Place how did the hardend Wretches that were there before me
Triumph over me what Mrs Flanders come to Newgate at last what Mrs Mary
Mrs Molly and after that plain Moll Flanders They thought the Devil had
helpd me they said that I had reignd so long They expected me there many
Years ago they said and was I come at last then they flouted me with
Dejections welcomd me to the Place wishd me Joy bid me have a good Heart
not be cast down things might not be so bad as I feard and the like then
calld for Brandy and drank to me but put it all up to my Score for they told
me I was but just come to the College as they calld it and sure I had Money
in my Pocket tho they had none
I askd one of this Crew how long she had been there she said four Months
I askd her how the Place lookd to her when she first came into it just as it
did now to me says she dreadful and frightful that she thought she was in
Hell and I believe so still adds she but it is natural to me now I dont
disturb myself about it I suppose says I you are in no danger of what is to
follow Nay says she you are mistaken there I am sure for I am under
Sentence only I pleaded my Belly but am no more with Child than the Judge
that tryd me and I expect to be called down next session this CALLING DOWN is
calling down to their former Judgement when a Woman has been respited for her
Belly but proves not to be with Child or if she has been with Child and has
been brought to Bed Well says I and are you thus easy ay says she I cant
help myself what signifyes being sad If I am hangd theres an End of me and
away she turnd Dancing and Sings as she goes the following Piece of Newgate
Wit
If I swing by the String
I shall hear the Bell ring1
And then theres an End of poor Jenny
I mention this because it would be worth the Observation of any Prisoner who
shall hereafter fall into the same Misfortune and come to that dreadful Place of
Newgate how Time Necessity and Conversing with the Wretches that are there
Familiarizes the Place to them how at last they become reconcild to that which
at first was the greatest Dread upon their Spirits in the World and are as
impudently Chearful and Merry in their Misery as they were when out of it
I cannot say as some do this Devil is not so black as he is painted for
indeed no Colours can represent that Place to the Life nor any Soul Conceive
aright of it but those who have been Sufferers there But how Hell should
become by degrees so natural and notonly tollerable but even agreeable is a
thing Unintelligible but by those who have Experiencd it as I have
The same Night that I was sent to Newgate I sent the News of it to my old
Governess who was surprizd at it you may be sure and spent the Night almost
as ill out of Newgate as I did in it
The next Morning she came to see me she did what she coud to Comfort me
but she saw that was to no purpose however as she said to sink under the
Weight was but to encrease the Weight she immediately applied herself to all
the proper Methods to prevent the Effects of it which we feard and first she
found out the two fiery Jades that had surprizd me she tamperd with them
persuaded them offerd them Money and in a Word tryd all imaginable ways to
prevent a Prosecution she offerd one of the Wenches 100l to go away from her
Mistress and not to appear against me but she was so resolute that tho she
was but a Servant Maid at 3l a Year Wages or thereabouts she refusd it and
would have refusd as my Governess said she believd if she had offerd her
500l Then she attackd the other Maid she was not so hardHearted as the
other and sometimes seemd enclind to be merciful but the first Wench kept
her up and would not so much as let my Governess talk with her but threatnd
to have her up for Tampering with the Evidence
Then she applyd to the Master that is to say the Man whose Goods had been
stoln and particularly to his Wife who was enclind at first to have some
Compassion for me she found the Woman the same still but the Man alledgd he
was bound to Prosecute and that he should forfeit his Recognizance
My Governess offerd to find Friends that should get his Recognizances off
of the File as they call it and that he should not suffer but it was not
possible to Convince him that he could be safe any way in the World but by
appearing against me so I was to have three Witnesses of Fact against me the
Master and his two Maids that is to say I was as certain to be cast for my
Life as I was that I was alive and I had nothing to do but to think of dying
I had but a sad foundation to build upon for that as I said before for all my
Repentance appeard to me to be only the Effect of my fear of Death not a
sincere regret for the wicked Life that I had livd and which had brought this
Misery upon me or for the offending my Creator who was now suddenly to be my
Judge
I livd many Days here under the utmost horror I had Death as it were in
view and thought of nothing Night or Day but of Gibbets and Halters evil
Spirits and Devils it is not to be expressed how I was harassd between the
dreadful Apprehensions of Death and the Terror of my Conscience reproaching me
with my past horrible Life
The Ordinary of Newgate came to me and talkd a little in his way but all
his Divinity run upon Confessing my Crime as he calld it tho he knew not
what I was in for making a full Discovery and the like without which he told
me God would never forgive me and he said so little to the Purpose that I had
no manner of Consolation from him and then to observe the poor Creature
preaching Confession and Repentance to me in the Morning and find him drunk
with Brandy by Noon this had something in it so shocking that I began to
nauseate the Man and his Work too by Degrees for the sake of the Man so that
I desired him to trouble me no more
I know not how it was but by the indefatigable Application of my diligent
Governess I had no Bill preferrd against me the first Sessions I mean to the
Grand Jury at GuildHall so I had another Month or five Weeks before me and
without Doubt this ought to have been accepted by me as so much Time given me
for Reflection upon what was past and Preparation for what was to come I ought
to have esteemd it as a Space given me for Repentance and have employd it as
such but it was not in me I was sorry as before for being in Newgate but
had few Signs of Repentance about me
On the Contrary like the Water in the Hollows of Mountains which
petrifies and turns into Stone whatever they are sufferd to drop upon so the
continual conversing with such a Crew of HellHounds had the same common
Operation upon me as upon other People I degenerated into Stone I turnd
first Stupid and Senseless and then Brutish and Thoughtless and at last raving
Mad as any of them were in short I become as naturally pleasd and easy with
the Place as if indeed I had been Born there
It is scarce possible to imagine that our Natures should be capable of so
much Degeneracy as to make that pleasant and agreeable that in it self is the
most compleat Misery Here was a Circumstance that I think it is scarce
possible to mention a worse I was as exquisitely miserable as it was possible
for any one to be that had Life and Health and Money to help them as I had
I had a Weight of Guilt upon me enough to sink any Creature who had the
least Power of Reflection left and had any Sense upon them of the Happiness of
this Life or the Misery of another I had at first some Remorse indeed but no
Repentance I had now neither Remorse or Repentance I had a Crime chargd on
me the Punishment of which was Death the Proof so Evident that there was no
Room for me so much as to plead not guilty I had the Name of an old Offender
so that I had nothing to expect but Death neither had I myself any thoughts of
escaping and yet a certain strange Lethargy of Soul possessd me I had no
Trouble no Apprehensions no Sorrow about me the first Surprize was gone I
was I may well say I know not how my Senses my Reason nay my Conscience
were all asleep my Course of Life for forty Years had been a horrid
Complication of Wickedness Whoredom Adultery Incest Lying Theft and in a
Word everything but Murther and Treason had been my Practice from the Age of
Eighteen or thereabouts to Threescore and now I was ingulphd in the Misery of
Punishment and had an infamous Death at the Door and yet I had no Sense of my
Condition no Thought of Heaven or Hell at least that went any farther than a
bare flying Touch like the Stitch or Pain that gives a Hint and goes off I
neither had a Heart to ask Gods Mercy or indeed to think of it and in this I
think I have given a brief Description of the compleatest Misery on Earth
All my terrifying Thoughts were past the Horrors of the Place were become
familiar and I felt no more Uneasiness at the Noise and Clamours of the Prison
than they did who made that Noise in a Word I was become a meer NewgateBird
as wicked and as outragious as any of them nay I scarce retaind the Habit and
Custom of good Breeding and Manners which all along till now run thro my
Conversation so thoro a Degeneracy had possessd me that I was no more the
same Thing that I had been than if I had never been otherwise than what I was
now
In the middle of this hardend Part of my Life I had another sudden
Surprize which calld me back a little to that Thing calld Sorrow which
indeed I began to be past the Sense of before They told me one Night that
there was brought into the Prison late the Night before three HighwayMen who
had committed a Robbery somewhere on HounslowHeath I think it was and were
pursud to Uxbridge by the Country and there taken after a gallant Resistance
in which many of the Country People were wounded and some killd
It is not to be wonderd that we Prisoners were all desirous enough to see
these brave topping Gentlemen that were talkd up to be such as their Fellows
had not been known andespecially because it was said they would in the Morning
be removd into the PressYard having given Money to the head Master of the
Prison to be allowd the Liberty of that better Place So we that were Women
placd our selves in the Way that we would be sure to see them but nothing
could express the Amazement and Surprize I was in when the first Man that came
out I knew to be my Lancashire Husband the same with whom I livd so well at
Dunstable and the same who I afterwards saw at Brickill when I was married to
my last Husband as has been related
I was struck Dumb at the Sight and knew neither what to say or what to do
he did not know me and that was all the present Relief I had I quitted my
Company and retird as much as that dreadful Place suffers any Body to retire
and cryd vehemently for a great while dreadful Creature that I am said I
How many poor People have I made Miserable How many desperate Wretches have I
sent to the Devil This Gentlemans Misfortunes I placd all to my own Account
He had told me at Chester he was ruind by that Match and that his Fortunes
were made desperate on my Account for that thinking I had been a Fortune he
was run into Debt more than he was able to pay that he would go into the Army
and carry a Musquet or buy a Horse and take a Tour as he calld it and tho I
never told him that I was a Fortune and so did not actually deceive him my
self yet I did incourage its having it thought so and so I was the Occasion
originally of his Mischief
The Surprize of this Thing only struck deeper in my Thoughts and gave me
stronger Reflections than all that had befallen me before I grievd Day and
Night and the more for that they told me he was the Captain of the Gang and
that he had committed so many Robberies that Hind or Whitney or the Golden
Farmer were Fools to him that he would surely be hangd if there were no more
Men left in the Country and that there would be abundance of People come in
against him
I was overwhelmd with Grief for him my own Case gave me no Disturbance
compard to this and I loaded my self with Reproaches on his Account I
bewaild my Misfortunes and the Ruin he was now come to at such a Rate that I
relishd nothing now as I did before and the first Reflections I made upon the
horrid Life I had livd began to return upon me and as these Things returnd
my Abhorrence of the Place and of the Way of living in it returnd also in a
Word I was perfectly changd and become another Body
While I was under these Influences of Sorrow for him came Notice to me that
the next Sessions there would be a Bill preferrd to the Grand Jury against me
and that I should be tryd for my Life My Temper was touchd before the
wretched Boldness of Spirit which I had acquird abated and conscious Guilt
began to flow in my Mind In short I began to think and to think indeed is one
real Advance from Hell to Heaven all that hardend State and Temper of Soul
which I said so much of before is but a Deprivation of Thought he that is
restord to his Thinking is restord to himself
As soon as I began I say to think the first thing that occurrd to me
broke out thus Lord what will become of me I shall be cast to be sure and
there is nothing beyond that but Death I have no Friends what shall I do I
shall be certainly Cast Lord have Mercy upon me What will become of me This
was a sad Thought you will say to be the first after so long Time that had
started in my Soul of that kind and yet even this was nothing but Fright at
what was to come there was not a Word of sincere Repentance in it all However
I was dreadfully dejected and disconsolate to the last Degree and as I had no
Friend to communicate my distressd Thoughts to it lay so heavy upon me that
it threw me into Fits and Swoonings several times a Day I sent for my old
Governess and she give her her Due acted the Part of a true Friend she left
no Stone unturnd to prevent the Grand Jury finding the Bill she went to
several of the Jury Men talkd with them and endeavourd to possess them with
favourable Dispositions on Account that nothing was taken away and no House
broken amp c but all would not do the two Wenches swore home to the Fact
and the Jury found the Bill for Robbery and Housebreaking that is for Felony
and Burglary
I sunk down when they brought the News of it and after I came to my self I
thought I should have died with the Weight of it My Governess acted a true
Mother to me she pittyd me she cryd with me and for me but she could not
help me and to add to the Terror of it twas the Discourse all over the House
that I should dye for it I could hear them talk it among themselves very often
and see them shake their Heads and say they were sorry for it and the like as
is usual in the Place but still no Body came to tell me their Thoughts till at
last one of the Keepers came to me privately and said with a Sigh well Mrs
Flanders you will be tryda Friday this was but a Wednesday what do you
intend to do I turnd as white as a Clout and said God knows what I shall do
for my part I know not what to do why says he I wont Flatter you I would
have you prepare for Death for I doubt you will be Cast and as you are an old
Offender I doubt you will find but little Mercy They say added he your Case
is very plain and that the Witnesses swear so home against you there will be
no standing it
This was a stab into the very Vitals of one under such a Burden and I could
not speak a Word good or bad for a great while at last I burst out into Tears
and said to him O Sir What must I do Do says he send for a Minister and
talk with him for indeed Mrs Flanders unless you have very good Friends you
are no Woman for this World
This was plain dealing indeed but it was very harsh to me at least
Ithought it so Heleft me in the greatest Confusion imaginable and all that
Night I lay awake and now I began to say my Prayers which I had scarce done
before since my last Husbands Death or from a little while after and truly I
may well call it saying my Prayers for I was in such a Confusion and had such
horror upon my Mind that tho I cryd and repeated several times the Ordinary
Expression of Lord have Mercy upon me I never brought myself to any Sense of
being a miserable Sinner as indeed I was and of Confessing my Sins to God and
begging Pardon for the sake of Jesus Christ I was overwhelmd with the Sense of
my Condition being tryd for my Life and being sure to be Executed and on
this Account I cryd out all Night Lord what will become of me Lord what
shall I do Lord have mercy upon me and the like
My poor afflicted Governess was now as much concernd as I and a great deal
more truly Penitent tho she had no prospect of being brought to a Sentence
not but that she deservd it as much as I and so she said herself but she had
not done any thing for many Years other than receiving what I and others had
stolen and encouraging us to steal it But she cryd and took on like a
distracted Body wringing her Hands and crying out that she was undone that
she believd there was a Curse from Heaven upon her that she should be damnd
that she had been the Destruction of all her Friends that she brought such a
one and such a one and such a one to the Gallows and there she reckond up
ten or eleven People some of which I have given an Account of that came to
untimely Ends and that now she was the occasion of my Ruin for she had
persuaded me to go on when I would have left off I interrupted her there no
Mother no said I dont speak of that for you would have had me left off when
I got the Mercers Money again and when I came home from Harwich and I would
not hearken to you therefore you have not been to blame it is I only have
ruind myself I have brought myself to this Misery and thus we spent many
Hours together
Well there was no Remedy the Prosecution went on and on the Thursday I
was carried down to the SessionsHouse where I was arraignd as they calld
it and the next Day I was appointed to be Tryd At the Arraignment I pleaded
not guilty and well I might for I was indicted for Felony and Burglary that
is for feloniously stealing two Peices of Brocaded Silk value 46l the Goods
of Anthony Johnson and for breaking open the Doors whereas I knew very well
they could not pretend I had broken up the Doors or so much as lifted up a
Latch
On the Friday I was brought to my Tryal I had exhausted my Spirits with
Crying for two or three Days before that I slept better the Thursday Night than
I expected and had more Courage for my Tryal than I thought possible for me to
have
When the Tryal began and the Indictment was read I would have spoke but
they told me the Witnesses must be heard first and then I should have time to
be heard The Witnesses were the two Wenches a Couple of hard Mouthd Jades
indeed for tho the thing was Truth in the main yet they aggravated it to the
utmost extremity and swore I had the Goods wholly in my possession that I had
hid them among my Cloaths that I was going off with them that I had one Foot
over the Threshold when they discoverd themselves and then I put tother over
sothat I was quite out of the House in the Street with the Goods before they
took me and then they seizd me and took the Goods upon me The Fact in
general was true but I insisted upon it that they stopd me before I had set
my Foot clear of the Threshold but that did not argue much for I had taken the
Goods and was bringing them away if I had not been taken
I pleaded that I had stole nothing they had lost nothing that the Door was
open and I went in with Design to buy if seeing no Body in the House I had
taken any of them up in my Hand it coud not be concluded that I intended to
steal them for that I never carried them farther than the Door to look on them
with the better Light
The Court would not allow that by any means and made a kind of a Jest of my
intending to buy the Goods that being no Shop for the Selling of any thing and
as to carrying them to the Door to look at them the Maids made their impudent
Mocks upon that and spent their Wit upon it very much told the Court I had
lookd at them sufficiently and approvd them very well for I had packd them
up and was a going with them
In short I was found Guilty of Felony but acquited of the Burglary which
was but small Comfort to me the first bringing me to a Sentence of Death and
the last would have done no more The next Day I was carried down to receive
the dreadful Sentence and when they came to ask me what I had to say why
Sentence should not pass I stood mute a while but some Body prompted me aloud
to speak to the Judges for that they coud represent things favourably for me
This encouragd me and I told them I had nothing to say to stop the Sentence
but that I had much to say to bespeak the Mercy of the Court that I hopd they
would allow something in such a Case for the Circumstances of it that I had
broken no Doors had carried nothing off that no Body had lost any thing that
the Person whose Goods they were was pleasd to say he desird Mercy might be
shown which indeed he very honestly did that at the worst it was the first
Offence and that I had never been before any Court of Justice before and in a
Word I spoke with more Courage than I thought I coud have done and in such a
moving Tone and tho with Tears yet not so many Tears as to obstruct my
Speech that I coud see it movd others to Tears that heard me
The Judges sat Grave and Mute gave me an easy Hearing and time to say all
that I would but saying neither Yes or No to it Pronouncd the Sentence of
Death upon me a Sentence to me like Death itself which confounded me I had no
more Spirit left in me I had no Tongue to speak or Eyes to look up either to
God or Man
My poor Governess was utterly Disconsolate and she that was my Comforter
before wanted Comfort now herself and sometimes Mourning sometimes Raging
was as much out of herself as any mad Woman in Bedlam Nor was she only
Disconsolate as to me but she was struck with Horror at the Sense of her own
wicked Life and began to look back upon it with a Taste quite different from
mine for she was Penitent to the highest Degree for her Sins as well as
Sorrowful for the Misfortune She sent for a Minister too a serious pious good
Man and applyd herself with such earnestness by his assistance to the Work of
a sincere Repentance that I believe and so did the Minister too that she was
a true Penitent and which is still more she was not only so for the Occasion
and at that Juncture but she continud so as I was informd to the Day of her
Death
It is rather to be thought of than expressd what was now my Condition I
had nothing before me but Death and as I had no Friends to assist me I
expected nothing but to find my Name in the Dead Warrant which was to come for
the Execution next Friday of five more and myself
In the mean time my poor distressd Governess sent me a Minister who at her
request came to visit me He exhorted me seriously to repent of all my Sins and
to dally no longer with my Soul not flattering myself with hopes of Life which
he said he was informd there was no room to expect but unfeigndly to look up
to God with my whole Soul and to cry for Pardon in the Name of Jesus Christ He
backd his Discourses with proper Quotations of Scripture encouraging the
greatest Sinner to repent and turn from their evil Way and when he had done
he kneeled down and prayd with me
It was now that for the first Time I felt any real Signs of Repentance I
now began to look back upon my past Life with abhorrence and having a kind of
View into the other Side of Time the Things of Life as I believe they do with
every Body at such a Time began to look with a different Aspect and quite
another Shape than they did before The Views of felicity the joy the Griefs
of Life were quite other Things and I had nothing in my Thoughts but was so
infinitely Superiour to what I had known in Life that it appeard to be the
greatest stupidity to lay a Weight upon any thing tho the most valuable in this
World
The Word Eternity represented it self with all its incomprehensible
Additions and I had such extended Notions of it that I know not how to express
them Among the rest how absurd did every pleasant Thing look I mean that we
had counted pleasant before when I reflected that these sordid Trifles were the
things for which we forfeited eternal Felicity
With these Reflections came in of meer Course severe Reproaches for my
wretched Behaviour in my past Life that I had forfeited all hope of Happiness
in the Eternity that I was just going to enter into and on the Contrary was
entitled to all that was miserable and all this with the frightful Addition of
its being also Eternal
I am not capable of reading Lectures of Instruction to any Body but I
relate this in the very manner in which things then appeard to me as far as I
am able but infinitely short of the lively impressions which they made on my
Soul at that time indeed those Impressions are not to be explaind by words or
if they are I am not Mistress of Words to express them It must be the Work of
every sober Reader to make just Reflections as their own Circumstances may
direct and this is what every one at some time or other may feel something of
I mean a clearer Sight into things to come than they had here and a dark view
of their own Concern in them
But I go back to my own Case the Minister pressd me to tell him as far as
I thought convenient in what State I found myself as to the Sight I had of
things beyond Life he told me he did not come as Ordinary of the Place whose
business it is to extort Confessions from Prisoners for the farther detecting
of other Offenders that his business was to move me to such freedom of
Discourse as might serve to disburthen my own Mind and furnish him to
administer Comfort to me as far as was in his Power assurd me that whatever I
said to him should remain with him and be as much a Secret as if it was known
only to God and myself and that he desird to know nothing of me but to
qualifie him to give proper Advice to me and to pray to God for me
This honest friendly way of treating me unlockd all the Sluces of my
Passions He broke into my very Soul by it and I unravelld all the Wickedness
of my Life to him In a word I gave him an Abridgment of this whole History I
give him the Picture of my Conduct for 50 years in Miniature
I hid nothing from him and he in return exhorted me to a sincere
Repentance explaind to me what he meant by Repentance and then drew out such
a Scheme of infinite Mercy proclaimd from Heaven to Sinners of the greatest
Magnitude that he left me nothing to say that lookd like despair or doubting
of being accepted and in this Condition he left me the first Night
He visited me again the next Morning and went on with his Method of
explaining the Terms of Divine Mercy which according to him consisted of
nothing more Difficult than that of being sincerely desirous of it and willing
to accept it only a sincere Regret for and hatred of those things which
renderd me so just an Object of divine Vengeance I am not able to repeat the
excellent Discourses of this extraordinary Man all that I am able to do is to
say that he revivd my Heart and brought me into such a Condition that I
never knew any thing of in my Life before I was coverd with Shame and Tears
for things past and yet had at the same time a secret surprizing Joy at the
Prospect of being a true Penitent and obtaining the Comfort of a Penitent I
mean the hope of being forgiven and so swift did Thoughts circulate and so
high did the impressions they had made upon me run that I thought I coud
freely have gone out that Minute to Execution without any uneasiness at all
casting my Soul entirely into the Arms of infinite Mercy as a Penitent
The good Gentleman was so movd with a view of the influence which he saw
these things had on me that he blessed God he had come to visit me and
resolvd not to leave me till the last Moment
It was no less than 12 Days after our receiving Sentence before any were
orderd for Execution and then the Dead Warrant as they call it came down
and I found my Name was among them a terrible blow this was to my new
Resolutions in deed my Heart sunk within me and I swoond away twice one
after another but spoke not a word The good Minister was sorely Afflicted for
me and did what he could to comfort me with the same Arguments and the same
moving Eloquence that he did before and left me not that Evening so long as the
Prisonkeepers would suffer him to stay in the Prison unless he woud be lockd
up with me all Night which he was not willing to be
I wonderd much that I did not see him all the next Day it being but the
Day before the time appointed for Execution and I was greatly discouragd and
dejected and indeed almost sunk for want of that Comfort which he had so
often and with such Success yielded me in his former Visits I waited with
great impatience and under the greatest oppressions of Spirits imaginable till
about four aClock when he came to my Apartment for I had obtaind the Favour
by the help of Money nothing being to be done in that Place without it not to
be kept in the Condemnd Hole among the rest of the Prisoners who were to die
but to have a little dirty Chamber to my self
My Heart leapd within me for Joy when I heard his Voice at the Door even
before I saw him but let any one Judge what kind of Motion I found in my Soul
when after having made a short excuse for his not coming he shewd me that his
time had been employed on my Account that he had obtained a favourable Report
from the Recorder in my Case and in short that he had brought me a Reprieve
He usd all the Caution that he was able in letting me know what it would
have been double Cruelty to have conceald for as grief had overset me before
so Joy overset me now and I fell into a more dangerous Swooning than at first
and it was not without Difficulty that I was recoverd at all
The good Man having made a very Christian Exhortation to me not to let the
Joy of my Reprieve put the Remembrance of my past Sorrow out of my Mind and
told me that he must leave me to go and enter the Reprieve in the Books and
show it to the Sheriffs he stood up just before his going away and in a very
earnest Manner prayd to God for me that my Repentance might be made Unfeignd
and Sincere and that my coming back as it were into Life again might not be a
returning to the Follies of Life which I had made such solemn Resolutions to
forsake I joynd heartily in that Petition and must needs say I had deeper
Impressions upon my Mind all that Night of the Mercy of God in sparing my Life
and a greater Detestation of my Sins from a Sense of that goodness than I had
in all my Sorrow before
This may be thought inconsistent in itself and wide from the Business of
this Book Particularly I reflect that many of those who may be pleasd and
diverted with the Relation of the wicked part of my Story may not relish this
which is really the best part of my Life the most Advantageous to my self and
the most instructive to others such however will I hope allow me liberty to
make my Story compleat It would be a severe Satyr on such to say they do not
relish the Repentance as much as they do the Crime and they had rather the
History were a compleat Tragedy as it was very likely to have been
But I go on with my Relation the next Morning there was a sad Scene indeed
in the Prison the first thing I was saluted with in the Morning was the
Tolling of the great Bell at St Sepulchres which usherd in the Day As soon
as it began to Toll a dismal groaning and crying was heard from the Condemnd
Hole where there lay six poor Souls who were to be Executed that Day some for
one Crime some for another and two for Murther
This was followd by a confusd Clamour in the House among the several
Prisoners expressing their aukward Sorrows for the poor Creatures that were to
die but in a manner extreamly differing one from another some cried for them
some Brutishly huzzad and wishd them a good Journey some damnd and curst
those that had brought them to it many pitying them and some few but very few
praying for them
There was hardly room for so much Composure of Mind as was requird for me
to bless the merciful Providence that had as it were snatchd me out of the Jaws
of this Destruction I remained as it were Dumb and Silent overcome with the
Sense of it and not able to express what I had in my Heart for the Passions on
such Occasions as these are certainly so agitated as not to be able presently
to regulate their own Motions
All the while the poor condemnd Creatures were preparing for Death and the
Ordinary as they call him was busy with them disposing them to submit to their
Sentence I say all this while I was seizd with a fit of trembling as much as
I coud have been if I had been in the same Condition as I was the Day before
I was so violently agitated by this Surprising Fit that I shook as if it had
been in an Ague so that I could not speak or look but like one Distracted As
soon as they were all put into the Carts and gone which however I had not
Courage enough to see I say as soon as they were gone I fell into a fit of
crying involuntarily as a meer Distemper and yet so violent and it held me so
long that I knew not what Course to take nor could I stop or put a Checque to
it no not with all the Strength and Courage I had
This fit of crying held me near two Hours and as I believe held me till
they were all out of the World and then a most humble Penitent serious kind of
Joy succeeded a real transport it was or Passion of Thankfulness and in this
I continud most part of the Day
In the Evening the Good Minister visited me again and fell to his usual
good Discourses he Congratulated my having a space yet allowd me for
Repentance whereas the State of those six poor Creatures was determind and
they were now past the Offers of Salvation he pressd me to retain the same
Sentiments of the things of Life that I had when I had a View of Eternity and
at the End of all told me that I should not conclude that all was over that a
Reprieve was not a Pardon that he could not answer for the Effects of it
however I had this Mercy that I had more Time given me and it was my Business
to improve that Time
This Discourse left a kind of Sadness on my Heart as if I might expect the
Affair would have a tragical Issue still which however he had no Certainty of
yet I did not at that time question him about it he having said he would do his
utmost to bring it to a good End and that he hopd he might but he would not
have me be Secure and the Consequence shewd that he had Reason for what he
said
It was about a Fortnight after this that I had some just Apprehensions that
I should be included in the Dead Warrant at the ensuing Sessions and it was not
without great Difficulty and at last an humble Petition for Transportation
that I avoided it so ill was I beholding to Fame and so prevailing was the
Report of being an old offender tho in that they did not do me strict Justice
for I was not in the Sense of the Law an old Offender whatever I was in the Eye
of the Judge for I had never been before them in a judicial way before so the
Judges could not charge me with being an old Offender but the Recorder was
pleasd to represent my Case as he thought fit
I had now a Certainty of Life indeed but with the hard Conditions of being
orderd for Transportation which was I say a hard Condition in it self but
not when comparatively considerd and therefore I shall make no Comments upon
the Sentence nor upon the Choice I was put to we all shall choose any thing
rather than Death especially when tis attended with an uncomfortable Prospect
beyond it which was my Case
The good Minister whose Interest tho a Stranger to me had obtaind me
the reprieve mournd sincerely for his part he was in Hopes he said that I
should have ended my Days under the Influence of good Instruction that I might
not have forgot my former Distresses and that I should not have been turnd
loose again among such a wretched Crew as are thus sent Abroad where he said
I must have more than ordinary secret Assistance from the Grace of God if I did
not turn as wicked again as ever
I have not for a good while mentiond my Governess who had been dangerously
Sick and being in as near a View of Death by her Disease as I was by my
Sentence was a very great Penitent I say I have not mentiond her nor indeed
did I see her in all this Time but being now recovering and just able to come
Abroad she came to see me
I told her my Condition and what a different flux and reflux of Fears and
Hopes I had been agitated with I told her what I had escapd and upon what
Terms and she was present when the Minister expressd his Fears of my
relapsing again into wickedness upon my falling into the wretchd Company that
are generally transported Indeed I had a melancholly Reflection upon it in my
own Mind for I knew what a dreadful Gang was always sent a way together and
said to my Governess that the good Ministers Fears were not without Cause
Well well says she but I hope you will not be tempted with such a horrid
Example as that and as soon as the Minister was gone she told me she would
not have me Discouragd for perhaps Ways and Means might be found to dispose
of me in a particular Way by my self of which she would talk farther with me
afterward
I lookd earnestly at her and thought she lookd more chearful than she
usually had done and I entertaind immediately a thousand Notions of being
deliverd but could not for my Life imagine the Methods or think of one that
was feizible but I was too much concernd in it to let her go from me without
explaining herself which tho she was very loath to do yet as I was still
pressing she answerd me in a few Words thus Why you have Money have you
not Did you ever know one in your Life that was transported and had a hundred
Pound in his Pocket Ill warrant ye Child says she
I understood her presently but told her I saw no Room to hope for any
thing but a strict Execution of the Order and as it was a Severity that was
esteemd a Mercy there was no Doubt but it would be strictly observd she said
no more but this we will try what can be done and so we parted
I lay in the Prison near fifteen Weeks after this what the Reason of it
was I know not but at the End of this Time I was put on Board of a Ship in the
Thames and with me a Gang of Thirteen as hardend vile Creatures as ever
Newgate producd in my Time and it would really well take up a History longer
than mine to describe the Degrees of Impudence and audacious Villany that those
Thirteen were arrivd to and the manner of their behaviour in the Voyage of
which I have a very diverting Account by me which the Captain of the Ship who
carryd them over gave me and which he causd his Mate to Write down at large
It may perhaps be thought trifling to enter here into a Relation of all the
little Incidents which attended me in this Interval of my Circumstances I mean
between the final Order for my Transportation and the Time of going on Board
the Ship and I am too near the End of my Story to allow Room for it but
something relating to me and my Lancashire Husband I must not omit
He had as I have observd already been carryd from the Masters Side of
the ordinary Prison into the PressYard with three of his Comrades for they
found another to add to them after some Time here for what Reason I knew not
they were kept without being brought to a Tryal almost three Months it seems
they found Means to Bribe or Buy off some who were to come in against them and
they wanted Evidence to convict them After some puzzle on this Account they
made shift to get Proof enough against two of them to carry them off but the
other two of which my Lancashire Husband was one lay still in Suspence They
had I think one positive Evidence against each of them but the Law obliging
them to have two Witnesses they could make nothing of it yet they were
resolvd not to part with the Men neither not doubting but Evidence would at
last come in and in Order to this I think Publication was made that such
Prisoners were taken and any one might come to the Prison and see them
I took this Opportunity to satisfy my Curiosity pretending I had been
robbd in the Dunstable Coach and that I would go to see the two Highway Men
but when I came into the PressYard I so disguisd my self and muffled my Face
up so that he could see little of me and knew nothing of who I was but when I
came back I said publickly that I knew them very well
Immediately it was all over the Prison that Moll Flanders would turn
Evidence against one of the HighwayMen and that I was to come off by it from
the Sentence of Transportation
They heard of it and immediately my Husband desird to see this Mrs
Flanders that knew him so well and was to be an Evidence against him
andaccordingly I had leave to go to him I dressd myself up as well as the
best Cloaths that I sufferd myself ever to appear in there would allow me and
went to the PressYard but had a Hood over my Face he said little to me at
first but askd me if I Knew him I told him yes very well but as I
conceald my Face so I Counterfeited my Voice too that he had no Guess at who
I was He askd me where I had seen him I told him between Dunstable and
Brickhill but turning to the Keeper that stood by I askd if I might not be
admitted to talk with him alone he said yes yes and so very civily withdrew
As soon as he was gone and I had shut the Door I threw off my Hood and
bursting out into Tears my Dear said I do you not know me He turnd pale and
stood Speechless like one Thunder struck and not able to conquer the Surprize
said no more but this let me sit down and sitting down by the Table leaning
his Head on his Hand fixd his Eyes on the Ground as one stupid I cryd so
vehemently on the other Hand that it was a good while eer I could speak any
more but after I had given vent to my Passion I repeated the same Words MY
DEAR Do you not know me At which he answerd YES and said no more a good
while
After some time continuing in the surprize as above he cast up his Eyes
towards me and said How could you be so Cruel I did not really understand what
he meant and I answerd How can you call me Cruel To come to me says he in
such a Place as this is it not to insult me I have not robbd you at least
not on the Highway
I perceivd by this that he knew nothing of the miserable Circumstances I
was in and thought that having got Intelligence of his being there I had come
to up braid him with his leaving me but I had too much to say to him to be
affronted and told him in a few Words that I was far from coming to insult
him but at best I came to Condole mutually that he would be easily satisfyd
that I had no such View when I should tell him that my Condition was worse than
his and that many ways He lookd a little concernd at the Expression of my
Condition being worse than his but with a kind of a smile said How can that
be when you see me Fetterd and in Newgate and two of my Companions Executed
already can you say your Condition is worse than Mine
Come my Dear says I we have a long peice of Work to do if I should be to
relate or you to hear my unfortunate History but if you will hear it you will
soon conclude with me that my Condition is worse than yours How is that
possible says he when I expect to be cast for my Life the very next Sessions
Yes says I tis very possible when I shall tell you that I have been cast for
my Life three Sessions ago and am now under Sentence of Death is not my Case
worse than yours
Then indeed he stood silent again like one struck Dumb and after a little
while he starts up unhappy Couple says he How can this be possible I took
him by the Hand come MY DEAR said I sit down and let us compare our Sorrows
I am a Prisoner in this very House and in a much worse Circumstance than you
and you will be satisfyd I do not come to Insult you when I tell you the
particulars and with this we sat down together and I told him so much of my
Story as I thought convenient bringing it at last to my being reducd to great
Poverty and representing myself as fallen into some Company that led me to
relieve my Distresses by a way that I had been utterly unacquainted with and
that they making an attempt on a Tradesmans House I was seizd upon for having
been but just at the Door the MaidServant pulling me in that I neither had
broke any Lock or taken any thing away and that notwithstanding that I was
brought in Guilty and Sentencd to Die but that the Judges having been made
sensible of the Hardship of my Circumstances had obtaind leave for me to be
transported
I told him I fard the worse for being taken in the Prison for one Moll
Flanders who was a famous successful Thief that all of them had heard of but
none of them had ever seen but that as he knew was none of my Name but I
placd all to the account of my ill Fortune and that under this Name I was
dealt with as an old Offender tho this was the first thing they had ever known
of me I gave him a long Account of what had befallen me since I saw him but
told him I had seen him since he might think I had then gave him an Account
how I had seen him at Brickhill how he was pursued and how by giving an
Account that I knew him and that he was a very honest Gentleman the Hue and
Cry was stoppd and the High Constable went back again
He listend most attentively to all my Story and smild at the particulars
being all of them infinitely below what he had been at the Head of but when I
came to the Story of little Brickhill he was surprizd and was it you my Dear
said he that gave the Check to the Mob at Brickhill Yes said I it was I
indeed then I told him the particulars which I had observd of him there Why
then said he it was you that savd my Life at that time and I am glad I owe my
Life to you for I will pay the Debt to you now and Ill deliver you from the
present Condition you are in or I will die in the attempt
I told him by no means it was a Risque too great not worth his running the
hazzard of and for a Life not worth his saving twas no matter for that he
said it was a Life worth all the World to him a Life that had given him a new
Life for says he I was never in real Danger but that time till the last
Minute when I was taken Indeed his Danger then lay in his believing he had not
been pursud that way for they had gone off from Hockley quite another way and
had come over the enclosd Country into Brickhill and were sure they had not
been seen by any Body
Here he gave a long History of his Life which indeed would make a very
strange History and be infinitely diverting He told me that he took the Road
about twelve Year before he marryd me that the Woman which calld him Brother
was not any Kin to him but one that belongd to their Gang and who keeping
Correspondence with them livd always in Town having great Acquaintance that
she gave them perfect Intelligence of Persons going out of Town and that they
had made several good Booties by her Correspondence that she thought she had
fixd a Fortune for him when she brought me to him but happend to be
Disappointed which he really could not blame her for That if I had had an
Estate which she was informd I had he had resolvd to leave off the Road and
live a new Life but never to appear in Publick till some general Pardon had
been passd or till he could for Money have got his Name into some
particular Pardon so that he might have been perfectly easy but that as it had
provd otherwise he was obligd to take up the old Trade again
He gave a long Account of some of his Adventures and particularly one
where he robbd the West Chester Coaches near Litchfield when he got a very
great Booty and after that how he robbd five Grasiers in the West going to
Burford Fair in Wiltshire to buy Sheep he told me he got so much Money on those
two Occasions that if he had known where to have found me he would certainly
have embracd my Proposal of going with me to Virginia or to have settled in a
Plantation on some other of the English Colonies in America
He told me he wrote three Letters to me directed according to my Order but
heard nothing from me This indeed I knew to be true but the Letters coming to
my Hand in the Time of my latter Husband I could do nothing in it and
therefore gave no Answer that so he might believe they had miscarried
Being thus disappointed he said he carryd on the old Trade ever since
tho when he had gotten so much Money he said he did not run such desperate
Risques as he did before then he gave me some Account of several hard and
desperate Encounters which he had with Gentlemen on the Road who parted too
hardly with their Money and shewd me some wounds he had receivd and he had
one or two very terrible Wounds indeed particularly one by a Pistol Bullet
which broke his Arm and another with a Sword which run him quite thro the
Body but that missing his Vitals he was curd again one of his Comrades having
kept with him so faithfully and so friendly as that he assisted him in riding
near 80 Miles before his Arm was Set and then got a Surgeon in a considerable
City remote from the Place where it was done pretending they were Gentlemen
travelling towards Carlisle that they had been attackd on the Road by
HighwayMen and that one of them had shot him into the Arm
This he said his friend managd so well that they were not suspected but
lay still till he was curd He gave me also so many distinct Accounts of his
Adventures that it is with great Reluctance that I decline the relating them
but this is my own Story not his
I then enquird into the Circumstances of his present Case and what it was
he expected when he came to be tryd he told me that they had no Evidence
against him for that of the three Rob beries which they were all Chargd with
it was his good Fortune that he was but in one of them and that there was but
one Witness to be had to that Fact which was not sufficient but that it was
expected some others would come in and that he thought when he first see me I
had been one that came of that Errand but that if no Body came in against him
he hopd he should be cleard that he had some intimation that if he would
submit to Transport himself he might be admitted to it without a Tryal but
that he could not think of it with any Temper and thought he could much easier
submit to be Hangd
I blamd him for that first because if he was Transported there might be
an Hundred ways for him that was a Gentleman and a bold enterprising Man to
find his way back again and perhaps some Ways and Means to come back before he
went He smild at that Part and said he should like the last the best of the
two for he had a kind of Horror upon his Mind at his being sent to the
Plantations as the Romans sent Slaves to Work in the Mines that he thought the
Passage into another State much more tolerable at the Gallows and that this
was the general Notion of all the Gentlemen who were driven by the Exigence of
their Fortunes to take the Road that at the Place of Execution there was at
least an End of all the Miseries of the present State and as for what was to
follow a Man was in his Opinion as likely to Repent sincerely in the last
Fortnight of his Life under the Agonies of a Goal and the condemnd Hole as he
would ever be in the Woods and Wildernesses of America that Servitude and hard
Labour were Things Gentlemen could never stoop to that it was but the way to
force them to be their own Executioners which was much worse and that he could
not have any Patience when he did but think of it
I used the utmost of my endeavour to persuade him and joynd that known
Womans Rhetorick to it I mean that of Tears I told him the Infamy of a
publick Execution was certainly a greater pressure upon the Spirits of a
Gentleman than any Mortifications that he could meet with Abroad that he had
at least in the other a Chance for his Life whereas here he had none at all
that it was the easiest thing in the World for him to manage the Captain of a
Ship who were generally speaking Men of good Humour and a small matter of
Conduct especially if there was any Money to be had would make way for him to
buy himself off when he came to Virginia
He lookd wishfully at me and I guessd he meant that he had no Money but
I was mistaken his meaning was another way you hinted just now my Dear said
he that there might be a way of coming back before I went by which I
understood you that it might be possible to buy it off here I had rather give
200 l to prevent going than 100 l to be set at Liberty when I came there
That is my Dear said I because you do not know the Place so well as I do That
may be said he and yet I believe as well as you know it you would do the
same unless it is because as you told me you have a Mother there
I told him as to my Mother she must be dead many Years before and as for
any other Relations that I might have there I knew them not That since my
Misfortunes had reducd me to the Condition I had been in for some Years I had
not kept up any Correspondence with them and that he would easily believe I
should find but a cold Reception from them if I should be put to make my first
visit in the Condition of a Transported Felon that therefore if I went thither
I resolved not to see them but that I had many Views in going there which took
off all the uneasy Part of it and if he found himself obligd to go also I
should easily Instruct him how to manage himself so as never to go a Servant at
all especially since I found he was not destitute of Money which was the only
Friend in such a Condition
He smild and said he did not tell me he had Money I took him up short
and told him I hopd he did not understand by my speaking that I should expect
any supply from him if he had Money that on the other Hand tho I had not a
great deal yet I did not want and while I had any I would rather add to him
than weaken him seeing whatever he had I knew in the Case of Transportation he
would have Occasion of it all
He expressd himself in a most tender manner upon that Head he told me what
Money he had was not a great deal but that he would never hide any of it from
me if I wanted it and assurd me he did not speak with any such Apprehensions
that he was only intent upon what I had hinted to him that here he knew what to
do but there he should be the most helpless Wretch alive
I told him he frighted himself with that which had no Terror in it that if
he had Money as I was glad to hear he had he might not only avoid the
Servitude supposd to be the Consequence of Transportation but begin the World
upon such a new Foundation as he coud not fail of Success in with but the
common Application usual in such Cases that he could not but call to Mind I
had recommended it to him many Years before and proposd it for restoring our
Fortunes in the World and I would tell him now that to convince him both of
the certainty of it and of my being fully acquainted with the Method and also
fully satisfyd in the probability of Success he should first see me deliver
myself from the Necessity of going over at all and then that I would go with
him freely and of my own Choice and perhaps carry enough with me to satisfy
him that I did not offer it for want of being able to live without Assistance
from him but that I thought our mutual Misfortunes had been such as were
sufficient to Reconcile us both to quitting this part of the World and living
where no Body could upbraid us with what was past and without the Agonies of a
condemnd Hole to drive us to it where we should look back on all our past
Disasters with infinite Satisfaction when we should consider that our Enemies
should entirely forget us and that we should live as new People in a new World
no Body having any thing to say to us or we to them
I pressd this Home to him with so many Arguments and answerd all his own
passionate Objections so effectually that he embracd me and told me I
treated him with such a Sincerity as overcame him that he would take my
Advice and would strive to submit to his Fate in hope of having the Comfort of
so faithful a Counsellor and such a Companion in his Misery but still he put
me in mind of what I had mentiond before Namely that there might be some way
to get off before he went and that it might be possible to avoid going at all
which he said would be much better I told him he should see and be fully
satisfyd that I would do my utmost in that Part too and if it did not succeed
yet that I would make good the rest
We parted after this long Conference with such Testimonies of Kindness and
Affection as I thought were Equal if not Superior to that at our parting at
Dunstable and now I saw more plainly the Reason why he then declind coming
with me toward London and why when we parted there he told me it was not
convenient for him to come to London with me as he would otherwise have done I
have observd that the Account of his Life would have made a much more pleasing
History than this of mine and indeed nothing in it was more strange than this
Part viz that he carried on that desperate Trade full five and Twenty Year
and had never been taken the Success he had met with had been so very
uncommon and such that sometimes he had livd handsomely and retird in one
Place for a Year or two at a time keeping himself and a Man Servant to wait on
him and has often sat in the CoffeeHouses and heard the very People who he
had robbd give Accounts of their being robbd and of the Places and
Circumstances so that he coud easily remember that it was the same
In this manner it seems he livd near Liverpool at the time he unluckily
married me for a Fortune Had I been the Fortune he expected I verily believe
he would have taken up and livd honestly
He had with the rest of his Misfortunes the good luck not to be actually
upon the spot when the Robbery was done which they were committed for and so
none of the Persons robbd coud swear to him but it seems as he was taken
with the Gang one hardmouthd Country Man swore home to him and according to
the Publication they had made they expected more Evidence against him and for
that Reason he was kept in hold
However the offer which was made to him of Transportation was made as I
understood upon the intercession of some great Person who pressd him hard to
accept of it and as he knew there were several that might come in against him
I thought his Friend was in the Right and I lay at him Night and Day to delay
it no longer
At last with much difficulty he gave his consent and as he was not
therefore admitted to Transportation in Court and on his Petition as I was so
he found himself under a difficulty to avoid embarking himself as I had said he
might have done his Friend having given Security for him that he should
Transport himself and not return within the Term
This hardship broke all my Measures for the steps I took afterwards for my
own deliverance were hereby renderd wholly ineffectual unless I would abandon
him and leave him to go to America by himself than which he protested he would
much rather go directly to the Gallows
I must now return to my own Case the time of my being Transported was near
at Hand my Governess who continud my fast Friend had tryd to obtain a
Pardon but it could not be done unless with an Expence too heavy for my Purse
considering that to be left empty unless I had resolvd to return to my old
Trade had been worse than Transportation because there I could live here I
could not The good Minister stood very hard on another Account to prevent my
being Transported also but he was answerd that my Life had been given me at
his first Solicitations and therefore he ought to ask no more he was sensibly
grievd at my going because as he said he feard I should lose the good
impressions which a prospect of Death had at first made on me and which were
since encreasd by his Instructions and the pious Gentleman was exceedingly
concernd on that Account
On the other Hand I was not so sollicitous about it now but I conceald my
Reasons for it from the Minister and to the last he did not know but that I
went with the utmost reluctance and affliction
It was in the Month of February that I was with thirteen other Convicts
deliverd to a Merchant that Traded to Virginia on board a Ship riding in
Deptford Reach The Officer of the Prison deliverd us on board and the Master
of the Vessel gave a Discharge for us
We were for that Night clapt under Hatches and kept so close that I
thought I should have been suffocated for want of Air and the next Morning the
Ship weighd and fell down the River to a Place calld Bugbys Hole which was
done as they told us by the agreement of the Merchant that all Opportunity of
Escape should be taken from us However when the Ship came thither and cast
Anchor we were permitted to come upon the Deck but not upon the QuarterDeck
that being kept particularly for the Captain and for Passengers
When by the Noise of the Men over my Head and the Motion of the Ship I
perceivd they were under Sail I was at first greatly surprizd fearing we
should go away and that our Friends would not be admitted to see us but I was
easy soon after when I found they had come to an Anchor and that we had Notice
given by some of the Men that the next Morning we should have the Liberty to
come upon Deck and to have our Friends come to see us
All that Night I lay upon the hard Deck as the other Prisoners did but we
had afterwards little Cabins allowd for such as had any Bedding to lay in them
and room to stow any Box or Trunk for Cloaths and Linnen if we had it which
might well be put in for some of them had neither Shirt or Shift Linnen or
Woollen but what was on their Backs or one Farthing of Money to help
themselves yet I did not find but they fard well enough in the Ship
especially the Women who got Money of the Seamen for washing their Cloaths
amp c sufficient to purchase any thing they wanted
When the next Morning we had the Liberty to come upon Deck I askd one of
the Officers whether I might not be allowd to send a Letter on Shore to let my
Friends know where we lay and to get some necessary Things sent to me This was
the Boatswain a very civil courteous Man who told me I should have any Liberty
that I desird that he could allow me with Safety I told him I desird no
other and he answerd the Ships Boat would go up to London next Tide and he
would Order my Letter to be carryd
Accordingly when the Boat went off the Boatswain came and told me the Boat
was going off that he went in it himself and if my Letter was ready he would
take Care of it I had prepard Pen Ink and Paper beforehand and had gotten
a Letter ready directed to my Governess and enclosd another to my fellow
Prisoner which however I did not let her know was my Husband not to the last
in that to my Governess I let her know where the Ship lay and pressd her to
send me what Things she had got ready for me for my Voyage
When I gave the Boatswain the Letter I gave him a Shilling with it which I
told him was for the Charge of a Porter which I had entreated him to send with
the Letter as soon as he came on Shore that if possible I might have an Answer
brought back by the same Hand that I might know what was become of my Things
for SIR says I if the Ship should go away before I have them I am undone
I took care when I gave him the Shilling to let him see I had a little
better Furniture about me than the ordinary Prisoners that I had a Purse and
in it a pretty deal of Money and I found that the very Sight of it immediately
furnishd me with very different Treatment from what I should otherwise have met
with for tho he was Courteous indeed before in a kind of natural Compassion
to me as a Woman in distress yet he was more than ordinarily so afterwards
and procurd me to be better treated in the Ship than I say I might otherwise
have been as shall appear in its Place
He very honestly deliverd my Letter to my Governess own Hands and brought
me back her Answer and when he gave it me gave me the Shilling again there
says he theres your Shilling again too for I deliverd the Letter my self I
could not tell what to say I was so surprizd at the thing but after some
Pause I said Sir you are too kind it had been but reasonable that you had
paid yourself Coach Hire then
No no says he I am over paid What is that Gentlewoman is she your
Sister
No Sir said I she is no Relation to me but she is a dear Friend and all
the Friends I have in the World Well says he there are few such Friends Why
she crys after you like a Child Ay says I again she would give a Hundred
Pound I believe to deliver me from this dreadful Condition
Would she so says he for half the Money I believe I could put you in a
way how to deliver your self but this he spoke softly that no Body could hear
Alas Sir said I but then that must be such a Deliverance as if I should
be taken again would cost me my Life Nay said he if you were once out of the
Ship you must look to yourself afterwards that I can say nothing to so we
dropd the Discourse for that Time
In the mean time my Governess faithful to the last Moment conveyd my
Letter to the Prison to my Husband and got an Answer to it and the next Day
came down herself bringing me in the first Place a Sea Bed as they call it
and all its ordinary Furniture she brought me also a Sea Chest that is a
Chest such as are made for Seamen with all the Conveniences in it and filld
with every thing almost that I could want and in one of the Corners of the
Chest where there was a private Drawer was my Bank of Money that is to say
so much of it as I had resolvd to carry with me for I orderd part of my Stock
to be left behind to be sent afterwards in such Goods as I should want when I
came to settle for Money in that Country is not of much Use where all things
are bought for Tobacco much more is it a great Loss to carry it from Hence
But my Case was particular it was by no Means proper for me to go without
Money or Goods and for a poor Convict that was to be sold as soon as I came on
Shore to carry a Cargo of Goods would be to have Notice taken of it and
perhaps to have them seizd so I took part of my Stock with me thus and left
the rest with my Governess
My Governess brought me a great many other things but it was not proper for
me to appear too Well at least till I knew what kind of a Captain we should
have When she came into the Ship I thought she would have died indeed her
Heart sunk at the Sight of me and at the Thoughts of parting with me in that
Condition and she cryd so intolerably I could not for a long time have any
talk with her
I took that time to read my fellow Prisoners Letter which greatly
perplexd me he told me it would be impossible for him to be dischargd time
enough for going in the same Ship and which was more than all he began to
question whether they would give him leave to go in what Ship he pleasd tho
he did voluntarily transport himself but that they would see him put on Board
such a Ship as they should direct and that he would be chargd upon the Captain
as other convict Prisoners were so that he began to be in Dispair of seeing me
till he came to Virginia which made him almost desperate seeing that on the
other Hand if I should not be there if any Accident of the Sea or of
Mortality should take me away he should be the most undone Creature in the
World
This was very perplexing and I knew not what Course to take I told my
Governess the Story of the Boatswain and she was mighty eager with me to treat
with him but I had no mind to it till I heard whether my Husband or fellow
Prisoner so she calld him could be at liberty to go with me or no at last I
was forcd to let her into the whole matter except only that of his being my
Husband I told her that I had made a positive Agreement with him to go if he
could get the liberty of going in the same Ship and I found he had Money
Then I told her what I proposd to do when we came there how we could
Plant Settle and in short grow Rich without any more Adventures and as a
great Secret I told her we were to Marry as soon as he came on Board
She soon agreed chearfully to my going when she heard this and she made it
her business from that time to get him deliverd in time so that he might go in
the same Ship with me which at last was brought to pass tho with great
difficulty and not without all the Forms of a Transported Convict which he
really was not for he had not been tryd and which was a great Mortification
to him As our Fate was now determind and we were both on Board actually
bound to Virginia in the despicable Quality of Transported Convicts destind
to be sold for Slaves I for five Year and he under Bonds and Security not to
return to England any more as long as he livd he was very much dejected and
cast down the Mortification of being brought on Board as he was like a
Prisoner piqud him very much since it was first told him he should Transport
himself so that he might go as a Gentleman at liberty it is true he was not
orderd to be sold when he came there as we were and for that Reason he was
obligd to pay for his Passage to the Captain which we were not as to the
rest he was as much at a loss as a Child what to do with himself but by
Directions
However I lay in an uncertain Condition full three Weeks not knowing
whether I should have my Husband with me or no and therefore not resolvd how
or in what manner to receive the honest Boatswains Proposal which indeed he
thought a little strange
At the End of this time behold my Husband came on Board he lookd with a
dejected angry Countenance his great Heart was swelld with Rage and Disdain
to be dragd along with three Keepers of Newgate and put on Board like a
Convict when he had not so much as been brought to a Tryal he made loud
complaints of it by his Friends for it seems he had some Interest but they got
some Checque in their Application and were told he had had Favour enough and
that they had receivd such an Account of him since the last Grant of his
Transportation that he ought to think himself very well treated that he was
not prosecuted anew This answer quieted him for he knew too much what might
have happend and what he had room to expect and now he saw the goodness of
that Advice to him which prevaild with him to accept of the offer of
Transportation and after his chagrin at these Hell Hounds as he calld them
was a little over he lookd more composd began to be chearful and as I was
telling him how glad I was to have him once more out of their Hands he took me
in his Arms and acknowledgd with great Tenderness that I had given him the
best advice Possible My Dear says he Thou hast twice savd my Life from
hence forward it shall be employd for you and Ill always take your Advice
Our first business was to compare our Stock He was very honest to me and
told me his Stock was pretty good when he came into the Prison but that living
there as he did like a Gentleman and which was much more the making of
Friends and soliciting his Case had been very Expensive and in a Word all
his Stock left was a Hundred and Eight Pounds which he had about him in Gold
I gave him an Account of my Stock as faithfully that is to say what I had
taken with me for I was resolvd what ever should happen to keep what I had
left in Reserve that in Case I should die what I had was enough to give him
and what was left in my Governess Hands would be her own which she had well
deservd of me indeed
My Stock which I had with me was two Hundred forty six Pounds some odd
Shillings so that we had three Hundred fifty four Pound between us but a worse
gotten Estate was never put together to begin the World with
Our greatest Misfortune as to our Stock was that it was in Money an
unprofitable Cargoe to be carryed to the Plantations I believe his was really
all he had left in the World as he told me it was But I who had between seven
and eight Hundred Pounds in Bank when this Disaster befel me and who had one of
the faithfulest Friends in the World to manage it for me considering she was a
Woman of no Principles had still Three Hundred Pounds left in her Hand which I
had reservd as above besides I had some very valuable things with me as
particularly two gold Watches some small Peices of Plate and some Rings all
stolen Goods with this Fortune and in the Sixtyfirst Year of my Age I
launchd out into a new World as I may call it in the Condition only of a poor
Convict orderd to be Transported in respite from the Gallows my Cloaths were
poor and mean but not raggd or dirty and none knew in the whole Ship that I
had any thing of value about me
However as I had a great many very good Cloaths and Linnen in abundance
which I had orderd to be packd up in two great Boxes I had them Shippd on
Board not as my Goods but as consignd to my real Name in Virginia and had
the Bills of Loading in my Pocket and in these Boxes was my Plate and Watches
and every thing of value except my Money which I kept by itself in a private
Drawer in my Chest and which coud not be found or opend if found without
splitting the Chest to peices
The Ship began now to fill several Passengers came on Board who were
embarkd on no Criminal account and these had Accommodations assignd them in
the great Cabbin and other Parts of the Ship whereas we as Convicts were
thrust down below I know not where but when my Husband came on Board I spoke
to the Boatswain who had so early given me Hints of his Friendship I told him
he had befriended me in many things and I had not made any suitable Return to
him and with that I put a Guinea into his Hand I told him that my Husband was
now come on Board that tho we were under the present Misfortunes yet we had
been Persons of a differing Character from the wretchd Crew that we came with
and desird to know whether the Captain might not be movd to admit us to some
Conveniences in the Ship for which we would make him what Satisfaction he
pleasd and that we would gratifie him for his Pains in procuring this for us
He took the Guinea as I coud see with great Satisfaction and assurd me of his
assistance
Then he told us he did not doubt but that the Captain who was one of the
best humourd Gentlemen in the World would be easily brought to Accommodate us
as well as we coud desire and to make me easie told me he would go up the
next Tide on purpose to speak to him about it The next Morning happening to
sleep a little longer than ordinary when I got up and began to look Abroad I
saw the Boatswain among the Men in his ordinary Business I was a little
melancholly at seeing him there and going forwards to speak to him he saw me
and came towards me but not giving him time to speak first I said smiling I
doubt Sir you have forgot us for I see you are very busy he returnd
presently come along with me and you shall see so he took me into the great
Cabbin and there sat a good sort of a Gentlemanly Man writing and a great many
Papers before him
Here says the Boatswain to him that was a writing is the Gentlewoman that
the Captain spoke to you of and turning to me he said I have been so far from
forgetting your Business that I have been up at the Captains House and have
represented faithfully what you said of your being furnishd with Conveniences
for your self and your Husband and the Captain has sent this Gentleman who is
Mate of the Ship down on purpose to show you every thing and to Accommodate
you to your Content and bid me assure you that you shall not be treated like
what you were expected to be but with the same Respect as other Passengers are
treated
The Mate then spoke to me and not giving me time to thank the Boatswain for
his Kindness confirmd what the Boatswain had said and added that it was the
Captains Delight to shew himself kind and charitable especially to those
that were under any Misfortunes and with that he shewd me several Cabbins
built up some in the great Cabbin and some partitiond off out of the
Steerage but opening into the great Cabbin on purpose for Passengers and gave
me Leave to choose where I would I chose a Cabbin in the Steerage in which
were very good Conveniences to set our Chest and Boxes and aTableto eat on
The Mate then told me that the Boatswain had given so good a Character of
me and of my Husband that he had Orders to tell me we should eat with him if
we thought fit during the whole Voyage on the common Terms of Passengers that
we might lay in some fresh Provisions if we pleasd or if not he should lay in
his usual Store and that we should have Share with him This was very reviving
News to me after so many Hardships and Afflictions I thankd him and told
him the Captain should make his own Terms with us and askd him Leave to go
and tell my Husband of it who was not very well and was not yet out of his
Cabbin Accordingly I went and my Husband whose Spirits were still so much sunk
with the Indignity as he understood it offerd him that he was scarce yet
himself was so revivd with the Account I gave him of the Reception we were
like to have in the Ship that he was quite another Man and new Vigour and
Courage appeard in his very Countenance so true is it that the greatest
Spirits when over whelmd by their Afflictions are subject to the greatest
Dejections
After some little Pause to recover himself my Husband came up with me and
gave the Mate Thanks for the Kindness which he had expressd to us and sent
suitable Acknowledgments by him to the Captain offering to Pay him by Advance
whatever he demanded for our Passage and for the Conveniencies he had helpd us
to the Mate told him that the Captain would be on Board in the Afternoon and
that he would leave all that to him accordingly in the Afternoon the Captain
came and we found him the same courteous obliging Man that the Boatswain had
represented him and he was so well pleasd with my Husbands Conversation that
in short he would not let us keep the Cabbin we had chosen but gave us one
that as I said before opend into the great Cabbin
Nor were his Conditions exorbitant or the Man craving and eager to make a
Prey of us but for fifteen Guineas we had our whole Passage and Provisions eat
at the Captains Table and were very handsomely Entertaind
The Captain lay himself in the other part of the Great Cabbin having let
his round House as they call it to a rich Planter who went over with his
Wife and three Children who eat by themselves he had some other ordinary
Passengers who Quarterd in the Steerage and as for our old Fraternity they
were kept under the Hatches and came very little on the Deck
I could not refrain acquainting my Governess with what had happend it was
but just that she who was really concernd for me should have part in my good
Fortune besides I wanted her Assistance to supply me with several Necessaries
which before I was shy of letting any Body see me have but now I had a Cabbin
and room to set things in I orderd abundance of good things for our Comfort in
the Voyage as Brandy Sugar Lemons amp c to make Punch and Treat our
Benefactor the Captain and abundance of things for eating and drinking also a
larger Bed and Bedding proportiond to it so that in a Word we resolvd to
want for nothing
All this while I had provided nothing for our Assistance when we should
come to the Place and begin to call ourselves Planters and I was far from
being ignorant of what was needful on that Occasion particularly all sorts of
Tools for the PlantersWork and for building and all kinds of HouseFurniture
which if to be bought in the Country must necessarily cost double the Price
I discoursd that Point with my Governess and she went and waited upon the
Captain and told him that she hopd ways might be found out for her two
unfortunate Cousins as she calld us to obtain our Freedom when we came into
the Country and so enterd into a Discourse with him about the Means and Terms
also of which I shall say more in its Place and after thus sounding the
Captain she let him know tho we were unhappy in the Circumstance that
occasiond our going yet that we were not unfurnishd to set ourselves to Work
in the Country and were resolvd to settle and live there as Planters The
Captain readily offerd his Assistance told her the Method of entering upon
such Business and how easy nay how certain it was for industrious People to
recover their Fortunes in such a manner Madam says he tis no Reproach to any
Man in that Country to have been sent over in worse Circumstances than I
perceive your Cousins are in provided they do but apply with good Judgment to
the Business of the Place when they come there
She then enquird of him what things it was Necessary we should carry over
with us and he like a knowing Man told her thus Madam your Cousins first
must procure some Body to buy them as Servants in Conformity to the Conditions
of their Transportation and then in the Name of that Person they may go about
what they will they may either Purchase some Plantations already begun or they
may purchase Land of the Government of the Country and begin where they please
and both will be done reasonably she bespoke his Favour in the first Article
which he promisd to her to take upon himself and indeed faithfully performd
it and as to the rest he promisd to recommend us to such as should give us
the best Advice and not to impose upon us which was as much as could be
desird
She then askd him if it would not be Necessary to furnish us with a Stock
of Tools and Materials for the Business of Planting and he said yes by all
means then she beggd his Assistance in that and told him she would furnish us
with everything that was Convenient whatever it cost her he accordingly gave
her a List of things Necessary for a Planter which by his Account came to about
fourscore or an Hundred Pounds and in short she went about as dexterously to
buy them as if she had been an old Virginia Merchant only that she bought by
my Direction above twice as much of every Thing as he had given her a List of
These she put on Board in her own Name took his Bills of Loading for them
and endorsd those Bills of Loading to my Husband Ensuring the Cargo after
wards in her own Name so that we were provided for all Events and for all
Disasters
I should have told you that my Husband gave her all his own Stock of 108l
which as I have said he had about him in Gold to lay out thus and I gave her
a good Sum besides so that I did not break into the Stock which I had left in
her Hands at all but after all we had near 200l in Money which was more than
enough for our purpose
In this Condition very chearful and indeed joyful at being so happily
accommodated we set Sail from Bugbys Hole to Gravesend where the Ship lay
about ten Days more and where the Captain came on Board for good and all Here
the Captain offerd us a Civility which indeed we had no Reason to expect
Namely tolet us go on Shore and refresh our selves upon giving our Words
that we would not go from him and that we would return peaceably on Board
again This was such an Evidence of his Confidence in us that it over come my
Husband who in a meer Principle of Gratitude told him as he could not be in
any Capacity to make a suitable Return for such a Favour so he could not think
of accepting it nor could he be easy that the Captain shoud run such a Risque
After some mutual Civilities I gave my Husband a Purse in which was 80
Guineas and he put it into the Captains Hand There Captain says he theres
part of a Pledge for our Fidelity if we deal dishonestly with you on any
Account tis your own and on this we went on Shore
Indeed the Captain had Assurance enough of our Resolutions to go for that
having made such Provision to Settle there it did not seem Rational that we
would chuse to remain here at the Peril of Life for such it must have been In
a Word we went all on Shore with the Captain and Suppd together in Gravesend
where we were very Merry staid all Night lay at the House where we Suppd and
came all very honestly on Board again with him in the Morning Here we bought
ten Dozen of Bottles of good Beer some Wine some Fowles and such Things as we
thought might be acceptable on Board
My Governess was with us all this while and went round with us into the
Downs as did also the Captains Wife with whom she went back I was never so
sorrowful at parting with my own Mother as I was at parting with her and I
never saw her more We had a fair Easterly Wind the third Day after we came to
the Downs and we saild from thence the 10th of April nor did we touch any
more at any Place till being driven on the Coast of Ireland by a very hard Gale
of Wind the Ship came to an Anchor in a little Bay near a River whose Name I
remember not but they said the River came down from Limerick and that it was
the largest River in Ireland
Here being detaind by bad Weather for some time the Captain who continud
the same kind good humourd Man as at first took us two on Shore with him
again He did it now in kindness to my Husband indeed who bore the Sea very
ill especially when it blew so hard Here we bought again store of fresh
Provisions Beef Pork Mutton and Fowls and the Captain stayd to Pickle up
five or six Barrels of Beef to lengthen out the Ships Store We were here not
above five Days when the Weather turning mild and a fair Wind we set Sail
again and in two and Forty Days came safe to the Coast of Virginia
When we drew near to the Shore the Captain calld me to him and told me
that he found by my Discourse I had some Relations in the Place and that I had
been there before and so he supposd I understood the Custom in their
disposing the convict Prisoners when they arrivd I told him I did not and
that as to what Relations I had in the Place he might be sure I would make
myself known to none of them while in the Circumstances of a Prisoner and that
as to the rest we left ourselves entirely to him to assist us as he was
pleasd to promise us he woud do He told me I must get some Body in the Place
to come and buy me as a Servant and who must answer for me to the Governor of
the Country if he demanded me I told him we should do as he should direct so
he brought a Planter to treat with him as it were for the Purchase of me for a
Servant my Husband not being orderd to be Sold and there I was formally sold
to him and went a Shore with him The Captain went with us and carried us to a
certain House whether it was to be calld a Tavern or not I know not but we
had a Bowl of Punch there made of Rum ampc and were very Merry After some
time the Planter gave us a Certificate of Discharge and an Acknowledgment of
having servd him faithfully and I was free from him the next Morning to go
whether I would
For this Peice of Service the Captain demanded of me 6000 weight of Tobacco
which he said he was Accountable for to his Freighter and we bought for him
and made him a present of 20 Guineas besides which he was abundantly satisfyd
with
It is not proper to Enter here into the particulars of what Part of the
Colony of Virginia we Settled in for divers Reasons it may suffice to mention
that we went into the Great River of Potomack the Ship being bound thither and
there we intended to have Settled at first tho afterwards we altered our
Minds
The first thing I did of Moment after having gotten all our Goods on Shore
and placd them in a Storehouse which with a Lodging we hird at the small
Place or Village where we Landed I say the first thing was to enquire after my
Mother and after my Brother that fatal Person who I married as a Husband as
I have related at large a little enquiry furnishd me with Information that
Mrs that is my Mother was Dead that my Brother or Husband was alive
and which was worse I found he was removd from the Plantation where I livd
and livd with one of his Sons in a Plantation just by the Place where we
Landed and had hird a Warehouse
I was a little surprizd at first but as I venturd to satisfy myself that
he could not know me I was not only perfectly easy but had a great mind to see
him if it was possible without his seeing me in order to that I found out by
enquiry the Plantation where he livd and with a Woman of the Place who I got
to help me like what we call a Chairwoman I rambld about towards the Place
as if I had only a mind to see the Country and look about me at last I came so
near that I saw the Dwellinghouse I askd the Woman whose Plantation that was
she said it belongd to such a Man and looking out a little to our right
Hands there says she is the Gentleman that owns the Plantation and his Father
with him What are their Christian Names said I I know not said she what the
old Gentlemans Name is but his Sons Name is Humphry and I believe says she
the Fathers is so too you may guess if you can what a confusd mixture of Joy
and Fright possest my Thoughts upon this Occasion for I immediately knew that
this was no Body else but my own Son by that Father she shewed me who was my
own Brother I had no Mask but I ruffled my Hoods so about my Face that I
depended upon it that after above 20 Years absence and withal not expecting
any thing of me in that part of the World he would not be able to know me but
I need not have usd all that Caution for he was grown dim Sighted by some
Distemper which had fallen upon his Eyes and could but just see well enough to
walk about and not run against a Tree or into a Ditch As they drew near to us
I said does he know you Mrs Owen so they calld the Woman yes she said if
he hears me speak he will know me but he cant see well enough to know me or
any Body else and so she told me the Story of his Sight as I have related
This made me secure and so I threw open my Hoods again and let them pass by
me It was a wretchd thing for a Mother thus to see her own Son a handsome
comely young Gentleman in flourishing Circumstances and durst not make herself
known to him and durst not take any notice of him let any Mother of Children
that reads this consider it and but think with what anguish of Mind I
restraind myself what yearnings of Soul I had in me to embrace him and weep
over him and how I thought all my Entrails turnd within me that my very
Bowels movd and I knew not what to do as I now know not how to express those
Agonies When he went from me I stood gazing and trembling and looking after
him as long as I could see him then sitting down on the Grass just at a Place
I had markd I made as if I lay down to rest me but turnd from her and lying
on my Face wept and kissd the Ground that he had set his Foot on
I coud not conceal my Disorder so much from the Woman but that she
perceivd it and thought I was not well which I wasobligd to pretend was
true upon which she pressd me to rise the Ground being damp and dangerous
which I did and walkd away
As I was going back again and still Talking of this Gentleman and his Son
a new Occasion of melancholy offerd itself thus The Woman began as if she
would tell me a Story to divert me there goes says she a very odd Tale among
the Neighbours where this Gentleman formerly livd What was that said I why
says she that old Gentleman going to England when he was a young Man fell in
Love with a young Lady there one of the finest Women that ever was seen here
and Married her and brought her over hither to his Mother who was then living
He livd here several Years with her continud she and had several Children by
her of which the young Gentleman that was with him now was one but after some
time the old Gentlewoman his Mother talking to her of something relating to
herself and of her Circumstances in England which were bad enough the
DaughterinLaw began to be very much surprizd and uneasy and in short in
examining further into things it appeard past all Contradiction that she the
old Gentlewoman was her own Mother and that consequently that Son was her own
Brother which struck the Family with Horror and put them into such Confusion
that it had almost ruind them all the young Woman would not live with him he
for a time went Distracted and at last the young Woman went away for England
and has never been heard of since
It is easy to believe that I was strangely affected with this Story but
tis impossible to describe the Nature of my Disturbance I seemd astonishd at
the Story and askd her a Thousand Questions about the particulars which I
found she was thoroughly acquainted with at last I began to enquire into the
Circumstances of the Family how the old Gentlewoman I mean my Mother died
and how she left what she had for my Mother had promisd me very solemnly that
when she died she would do something for me and leave it so as that if I was
Living I should one way or other come at it without its being in the Power of
her Son my Brother and Husband to prevent it She told me she did not know
exactly how it was orderd but she had been told that my Mother had left a Sum
of Money and had tyed her Plantation for the Payment of it to be made good to
the Daughter if ever she could be heard of either in England or elsewhere and
that the Trust was left with this Son who we saw with his Father
This was News too good for me to make light of and you may be sure filld
my Heart with a Thousand Thoughts what Course I should take and in what manner
I should make myself known or whether I should ever make myself known or no
Here was a Perplexity that I had not indeed skill to manage myself in
neither knew I what Course to take It lay heavy upon my mind Night and Day I
could neither Sleep or Converse so that my Husband perceivd it wonderd what
aild me and strove to divert me but it was all to no purpose he pressd me
to tell him what it was troubled me but I put it off till at last importuning
me continually I was forcd to form a Story which yet had a plain Truth to lay
it upon too I told him I was troubled because I found we must shift our
Quarters and alter our Scheme of Settling for that I found I should be known
if I stayd in that part of the Country for that my Mother being dead several
of my Relations were come into that Part where we then was and that I must
either discover myself to them which in our present Circumstances was not
proper on many Accounts or remove and which to do I knew not and that this it
was that made me melancholly
He joyned with me in this that it was by no means proper for me to make
myself known to any Body in the Circumstances in which we then were and
therefore he told me he would be willing to remove to any part of the Country
or even to any other Country if I thought fit but now I had another Difficulty
which was that if I removd to another Colony I put myself out of the way of
ever making a due Search after those Things which my Mother had left Again I
could never so much as think of breaking the Secret of my former Marriage to my
new Husband it was not a Story would bear telling nor could I tell what might
be the Consequences of it it was impossible too without making it publick all
over the Country as well who I was as what I now was also
This Perplexity continud a great while and made my Spouse very uneasy for
he thought I was not open with him and did not let him into every Part of my
Grievance and he would often say he wonderd what he had done that I would
not trust him whatever it was especially if it was grievous and afflicting
the Truth is he ought to have been trusted with every Thing for no Man could
deserve better of a Wife but this was a thing I knew not how to open to him
and yet having no Body to disclose any Part of it to the Burthen was too heavy
for my Mind for let them say what they please of our Sex not being able to keep
a Secret my Life is a plain Conviction to me of the Contrary but be it our
Sex or the Mens Sex a Secret of Moment should always have a Confident a
bosom Friend to whom we may communicate the Joy of it or the Grief of it be
it which it will or it will be a double Weight upon the Spirits and perhaps
become even insupportable in it self and this I appeal to Human Testimony for
the Truth of
And this is the Cause why many times Men as well as Women and Men of the
greatest and best Qualities other ways yet have found themselves weak in this
Part and have not been able to bear the Weight of a secret Joy or of a secret
Sorrow but have been obligd to disclose it even for the mere giving Vent to
themselves and to unbend the Mind opprest with the Weights which attended it
nor was this any Token of Folly at all but a natural Consequence of the Thing
and such People had they struggld longer with the Oppression would certainly
have told it in their Sleep and disclosd the Secret let it have been of what
fatal Nature soever without regard to the Person to whom it might be exposd
This Necessity of Nature is a Thing which Works sometimes with such Vehemency
in the Minds of those who are guilty of any atrocious Villany such as a secret
Murther in particular that they have been obligd to Discover it tho the
Consequence has been their own Destruction Now tho it may be true that the
divine Justice ought to have the Glory of all those Discoveries and Confessions
yet tis as certain that Providence which ordinarily Works by the Hands of
Nature makes Use here of the same natural Causes to produce those
extraordinary Effects
I could give several remarkable Instances of this in my long Conversation
with Crime and with Criminals I knew one Fellow that while I was a Prisoner
in Newgate was one of those they called then Nightfliers I know not what Word
they may have understood it by since but he was one who by Connivance was
admitted to go Abroad every Evening when he playd his Pranks and furnishd
those honest People they call ThiefCatchers with Business to find out the next
Day and restore for a Reward what they had stolen the Evening before This
Fellow was as sure to tell in his Sleep all that he had done and every Step he
had taken what he had stolen and where as sure as if he had engagd to tell
it waking and therefore he was obligd after he had been out to lock himself
up or be locked up by some of the Keepers that had him in Fee that no Body
should hear him but on the other Hand if he had told all the Particulars and
given a full Account of his Rambles and Success to any Comrade any Brother
Thief or to his Employers as I may justly call them then all was well and he
slept as quietly as other People
As the publishing this Account of my Life is for the sake of the just Moral
of every Part of it and for Instruction Caution Warning and Improvement to
every Reader so this will not pass I hope for an unnecessary Digression
concerning some People being obligd to disclose the greatest Secrets either of
their own or other Peoples Affairs
Under the Oppression of this Weight I labourd in the Case I have been
Naming and the only Relief I found for it was to let my Husband into so much
of it as I thought would convince him of the Necessity there was for us to
think of Settling in some other Part of the World and the next Consideration
before us was which Part of the English Settlements we should go to my Husband
was a perfect Stranger to the Country and had not yet so much as a Geographical
Knowledge of the Situation of the several Places and I that till I wrote this
did not know what the Word Geographical signifyd had only a general Knowledge
from long Conversation with People that came from or went to several Places
but this I knew that Maryland Pensilvania East and West Jersy New York and
New England lay all North of Virginia and that they were consequently all
colder Climates to which for that very reason I had an Aversion for that as
I naturaly lovd warm Weather so now I grew into Years I had a stronger
Inclination to shun a cold Climate I therefore considerd of going to Carolina
which is the most Southern Colony of the English on the Continent and hither I
proposd to go the rather because I might with ease come from thence at any
time when it might be proper to enquire after my Mothers Effects and to
demand them
With this Resolution I proposed to my Husband our going away from where we
was and carrying our Effects with us to Carolina where we resolvd to Settle
for my Husband readily agreed to the first Part viz that it was not at all
proper to stay where we was since I had assurd him we should be known there
and the rest I conceald from him
But now I found a new Difficulty upon me The main Affair grew heavy upon my
Mind still and I could not think of going out of the Country without some how
or other making Enquiry into the grand Affair of what my Mother had done for me
nor could I with any Patience bear the Thought of going away and not make my
self known to my old Husband Brother or to my Child his Son only I would
fain have had it done without my new Husband having any knowledge of it or they
having any Knowledge of him
I cast about innumerable Ways in my Thoughts how this might be done I would
gladly have sent my Husband away to Carolina and have come after my self but
this was impracticable he would not stir without me being himself unacquainted
with the Country and with the Methods of settling any where Then I thought we
would both go first and that when we were settled I should come back to
Virginia but even then I knew he would never part with me and be left there
alone the Case was plain he was bred a Gentleman and was not only
unacquainted but indolent and when we did Settle would much rather go into
the Woods with his Gun which they call there Hunting and which is the ordinary
Work of the Indians I say he would much rather do that than attend the natural
Business of the Plantation
There were therefore Difficulties unsurmountable and such as I knew not
what to do in I had such strong Impressions on my Mind about discovering my
self to my old Husband that I could not withstand them and the rather because
it run in my Thoughts that if I did not while he livd I might in vain
endeavour to convince my Son afterward that I was really the same Person and
that I was his Mother and so might both lose the Assistance and Comfort of the
Relation and lose whatever it was my Mother had left me and yet on the other
Hand I could never think it proper to discover the Circumstances I was in as
well relating to the having a Husband with me as to my being brought over as a
Criminal on both which Accounts it was absolutely Necessary to me to remove
from the Place where I was and come again to him as from another Place and in
another Figure
Upon those Considerations I went on with telling my Husband the absolute
necessity there was of our not Settling in Potomack River that we should
presently be made Publick there whereas if we went to any other Place in the
World we could come in with as much Reputation as any Family that came to
Plant That as it was always agreeable to the Inhabitants to have Families come
among them to Plant who brought Substance with them so we should be sure of
agreeable Reception and without any possibility of a Discovery of our
Circumstances
I told him too that as I had several Relations in the Place where we was
and that I durst not now let my self be known to them because they would soon
come to know the Occasion of my coming over which would be to expose my self to
the last Degree so I had Reason to believe that my Mother who died here had
left me something and perhaps considerable which it might be very well worth
my while to enquire after but that this too could not be done without exposing
us publickly unless we went from hence and then where ever we settled I
might come as it were to visit and to see my Brother and Nephews make my self
known enquire after what was my Due be receivd with Respect and at the same
time have Justice done me whereas if I did it now I could expect nothing but
with Trouble such as exacting it by Force receiving it with Curses and
Reluctance and with all kinds of Affronts which he would not perhaps bear to
see That in Case of being obligd to legal Proofs of being really her Daughter
I might be at a Loss be obligd to have Recourse to England and it may be to
fail at last and so lose it With these Arguments and having thus acquainted
my Husband with the whole Secret so far as was needful to him we resolvd to go
and seek a Settlement in some other Colony and at first Carolina was the Place
pitchd upon
In order to this we began to make enquiry for Vessels going to Carolina and
in a very little while got information that on the other side the Bay as they
call it namely in Maryland there was a Ship which came from Carolina loaden
with Rice and other Goods and was going back again thither On this News we
hird a Sloop to take in our Goods and taking as it were a final farewel of
Potowmack River we went with all our Cargo over to Maryland
This was a long and unpleasant Voyage and my Spouse said it was worse to
him than all the Voyage from England because the Weather was bad the Water
rough and the Vessel small and inconvenient in the next Place we were full a
hundred Miles up Potowmack River in a part they call Westmorland County and as
that River is by far the greatest in Virginia and I have heard say it is the
greatest River in the World that falls into another River and not directly into
the Sea so we had base Weather in it and were frequently in great Danger for
tho they call it but a River tis frequently so broad that when we were in
the middle we could not see Land on either Side for many Leagues together Then
we had the great Bay of Chesapeake to cross which is where the River Potowmack
falls into it near thirty Miles broad so that our Voyage was full two hundred
Mile in a poor sorry Sloop with all our Treasure and if any Accident had
happend to us we might at last have been very miserable supposing we had lost
our Goods and saved our Lives only and had then been left naked and destitute
and in a wild strange Place not having one Friend or Acquaintance in all that
part of the World The very thoughts of it gives me some horror even since the
Danger is past
Well we came to the Place in five Days sailing I think they call it
Philips Point and behold when we came thither the Ship bound to Carolina was
loaded and gone away but three Days before This was a Disappointment but
however I that was to be discouragd with nothing told my Husband that since
we could not get Passage to Carolina and that the Country we was in was very
fertile and good we would see if we could find out any thing for our Turn where
we was and that if he likd things we would Settle here
We immediately went on Shore but found no Conveniences just at that Place
either for our being on Shore or preserving our Goods on Shore but was
directed by a very honest Quaker who we found there to go to a Place about
sixty Miles East that is to say nearer the Mouth of the Bay where he said he
livd and where we should be Accommodated either to Plant or to wait for any
other Place to Plant in that might be more Convenient and he invited us with
so much kindness that we agreed to go and the Quaker himself went with us
Here we bought us two Servants viz an English WomanServant just come on
Shore from a Ship of Liverpool and a Negro ManServant things absolutely
necessary for all People that pretended to Settle in that Country This honest
Quaker was very helpful to us and when we came to the Place that he proposd
found us out a convenient Storehouse for our Goods and Lodging for ourselves
and Servants and about two Months or thereabout afterwards by his Direction
we took up a large peice of Land from the Government of that Country in order
to form our Plantation and so we laid the thoughts of going to Carolina wholly
aside having been very well receivd here and Accommodated with a convenient
Lodging till we could prepare things and have Land enough curd and Materials
provided for building us a House all which we managd by the Direction of the
Quaker so that in one Years time we had near fifty Acres of Land cleard part
of it enclosd and some of it Planted with Tobacco tho not much besides we
had Garden ground and Corn sufficient to supply our Servants with Roots and
Herbs and Bread
And now I perswaded my Husband to let me go over the Bay again and enquire
after my Friends he was the willinger to consent to it now because he had
business upon his Hands sufficient to employ him besides his Gun to divert him
which they call Hunting there and which he greatly delighted in and indeed we
usd to look at one another sometimes with a great deal of Pleasure reflecting
how much better that was not than Newgate only but than the most prosperous of
our Circumstances in the wicked Trade we had been both carrying on
Our Affair was now in a very good posture we purchased of the Proprietors
of the Colony as much Land for 35 Pound paid in ready Money as would make a
sufficient Plantation to us as long as we could either of us live and as for
Children I was past any thing of that kind
But our good Fortune did not End here I went as I have said over the Bay
to the Place where my Brother once a Husband livd but I did not go to the
same Village where I was before but went up another great River on the East
side of the River Potowmack called Rapahannock River and by this means came on
the back of his Plantation which was large and by the help of a Navigable
Creek that run into the Rapahannock I came very near it
I was now fully resolvd to go up Pointblank to my Brother Husband and to
tell him who I was but not knowing what Temper I might find him in or how much
out of Temper rather I might make him by such a rash visit I resolvd to write
a Letter to him first to let him know who I was and that I was come not to give
him any trouble upon the old Relation which I hopd was entirely forgot but
that I applyd to him as a Sister to a Brother desiring his Assistance in the
Case of that Provision which our Mother at her decease had left for my Support
and which I did not doubt but he would do me Justice in especially considering
that I was come thus far to look after it
I said some very tender kind things in the Letter about his Son which I
told him he knew to be my own Child and that as I was guilty of nothing in
Marrying him any more than he was in Marrying me neither of us having then
known our being at all related to one another so I hopd he would allow me the
most Passionate desire of once seeing my own and only Child and of showing
something of the Infirmities of a Mother in preserving a violent Affection for
him who had never been able to retain any thought of me one way or other
I did believe that having receivd this Letter he would immediately give it
to his Son to Read his Eyes being I knew so dim that he coud not see to read
it but it fell out better than so for as his Sight was dim so he had allowd
his Son to open all Letters that came to his Hand for him and the old Gentleman
being from Home or out of the way when my Messenger came my Letter came
directly to my Sons Hand and he opend and read it
He calld the Messenger in after some little stay and askd him where the
Person was who gave him that Letter the Messenger told him the Place which was
about seven Miles off so he bid him stay and ordering a Horse to be got ready
and two Servants away he came to me with the Messenger Let any one judge the
Consternation I was in when my Messenger came back and told me the old
Gentleman was not at Home but his Son was come along with him and was just
coming up to me I was perfectly confounded for I knew not whether it was Peace
or War nor coud I tell how to behave However I had but a very few Moments to
think for my Son was at the Heels of the Messenger and coming up into my
Lodgings askd the Fellow at the Door something I suppose it was for I did
not hear it which was the Gentlewoman that sent him for the Messenger said
there she is Sir at which he comes directly up to me kisses me took me in his
Arms embracd me with so much Passion that he could not speak but I could
feel his Breast heave and throb like a Child that Cries but Sobs and cannot
cry it out
I can neither express or describe the Joy that touchd my very Soul when I
found for it was easy to discover that Part that he came not as a Stranger
but as a Son to a Mother and indeed a Son who had never before known what a
Mother of his own was in short we cryed over one another a considerable while
when at last he broke out first MY DEAR MOTHER says he are you still a live
I never expected to have seen your Face as for me I coud say nothing a great
while
After we had both recoverd ourselves a little and were able to talk he
told me how things stood he told me he had not shewed my Letter to his Father
or told him anything about it that what his Grandmother left me was in his
Hands and that he would do me Justice to my full Satisfaction that as to his
Father he was old and infirm both in Body and Mind that he was very Fretful
and Passionate almost Blind and capable of nothing and he questiond whether
he would know how to act in an Affair which was of so nice a Nature as this
and that therefore he had come himself as well to satisfy himself in seeing me
which he could not restrain himself from as also to put it into my Power to
make a Judgement after I had seen how things were whether I would discover
myself to his Father or no
This was really so prudently and wisely managd that I found my Son was a
Man of Sense and needed no Direction from me I told him I did not wonder that
his Father was as he had describd him for that his Head was a little touchd
before I went away and principally his Disturbance was because I could not be
perswaded to live with him as my Husband after I knew that he was my Brother
That as he knew better than I what his Fathers present Condition was I should
readily joyn with him in such Measures as he would direct That I was
indifferent as to seeing his Father since I had seen him first and he coud
not have told me better News than to tell me that what his Grandmother had
left me was entrusted in his Hands who I doubted not now he knew who I was
would as he said do me Justice I enquird then how long my Mother had been
dead and where she died and told so many particulars of the Family that I
left him no room to doubt the Truth of my being really and truly his Mother
My Son then enquird where I was and how I had disposd myself I told him
I was on the Maryland side of the Bay at the Plantation of a particular Friend
who came from England in the same Ship with me that as for that side of the Bay
where he was I had no Habitation he told me I should go Home with him and
live with him if I pleasd as long as I livd That as to his Father he knew
no Body and would never so much as guess at me I considerd of that a little
and told him that tho it was really no little concern to me to live at a
distance from him yet I could not say it would be the most comfortable thing in
the World to me to live in the House with him and to have that unhappy Object
always before me which had been such a blow to my Peace before that tho I
should be glad to have his Company my Son or to be as near him as possible
yet I could not think of being in the House where I should be also under
constant Restraint for fear of betraying myself in my Discourse nor should I
be able to refrain some Expressions in my Conversing with him as my Son that
might discover the whole Affair which would by no means be Convenient
He acknowledged that I was right in all this but then DEAR MOTHER says
he you shall be as near me as you can so he took me with him on Horseback to a
Plantation next to his own and where I was as well entertaind as I coud have
been in his own having left me there he went away home telling me he would
talk of the main Business the next Day and having first called me his Aunt and
given a Charge to the People who it seems were his Tenants to treat me with
all possible Respect about two Hours after he was gone he sent me a
MaidServant and a Negro Boy to wait on me and Provisions ready dressed for my
Supper and thus I was as if I had been in a new World and began almost to wish
that I had not brought my Lancashire Husband from England at all
However that wish was not hearty neither for I lovd my Lancashire Husband
entirely as I had ever done from the beginning and he merited it as much as it
was possible for a Man to do but that by the way
The next Morning my Son came to visit me again almost as soon as I was up
after a little Discourse he first of all pulld out a Deer skin Bag and gave
it me with five and fifty Spanish Pistoles in it and told me that was to
supply my Expences from England for tho it was not his Business to enquire
yet he ought to think I did not bring a great deal of Money out with me it not
being usual to bring much Money into that Country Then he pulld out his
Grandmothers Will and read it over to me whereby it appeard that she left
a Plantation on York River to me with the Stock of Servants and Cattle upon
it and had given it in Trust to this Son of mine for my Use when ever he would
hear of me and to my Heirs if I had any Children and in default of Heirs to
whomsoever I should by Will dispose of it but gave the Income of it till I
should be heard of to my said Son and if I should not be living then it was
to him and his Heirs
This Plantation tho remote from him he said he did not let out but
managd it by a head Clerk as he did another that was his Fathers that lay
hard by it and went over himself three or four times a Year to look after it I
askd him what he thought the Plantation might be worth he said if I would let
it out he would give me about sixty Pounds a Year for it but if I would live
on it then it would be worth much more and he believd would bring me in about
150l a Year but seeing I was likely either to Settle on the other side the Bay
or might perhaps have a mind to go back to England if I would let him be my
Steward he would manage it for me as he had done for himself and that he
believd he should be able to send me as much Tobacco from it as would yield me
about a 100l a Year sometimes more
This was all strange News to me and Things I had not been usd to and
really my Heart began to look up more seriously than I think it ever did
before and to look with great Thankfulness to the Hand of Providence which had
done such Wonders for me who had been my self the greatest Wonder of
Wickedness perhaps that had been suffered to live in the World and I must
again observe that not on this Occasion only but even on all other Occasions
of Thankfulness my past Wickedness and abominable Life never lookd so
Monstrous to me and I never so compleatly abhorrd it and reproachd my self
with it as when I had a Sense upon me of Providence doing good to me while I
had been making those vile Returns on my Part
But I leave the Reader to improve these Thoughts as no doubt they will see
Cause and I go on to the Fact my Sons tender Carriage and kind Offers fetchd
Tears from me almost all the while he talkd with me indeed I could scarce
Discourse with him but in the Intervals of my Passion however at length I
began and expressing my self with wonder at my being so happy to have the Trust
of what I had left put into the Hands of my own Child I told him that as to
the Inheritance of it I had no Child but him in the World and was now past
having any if I should Marry and therefore would desire him to get a Writing
drawn which I was ready to execute by which I would after me give it wholly to
him and to his Heirs and in the mean Time smiling I askd him what made him
continue a Batchelor so long his Answer was kind and ready that Virginia did
not yield any great Plenty of Wives and that since I talkd of going back to
England I should send him a Wife from London
This was the Substance of our first Days Conversation the pleasantest Day
that ever past over my Head in my Life and which gave me the truest
Satisfaction He came every Day after this and spent great part of his time
with me and carried me about to several of his Friends Houses where I was
entertaind with great Respect also I dined several Times at his own House
when he took Care always to see his half dead Father so out of the Way that I
never saw him or he me I made him one Present and it was all I had of Value
and that was one of the Gold Watches of which I said I had two in my Chest
and this I happend to have with me and gave it him at his third Visit I told
him I had nothing of any Value to bestow but that and I desird he would now
and then kiss it for my sake I did not indeed tell him that I stole it from a
Gentlewomans Side at a Meeting House in London thats by the way
He stood a little while Hesitating as if doubtful whether to take it or no
but I pressd it on him and made him accept it and it was not much less worth
than his Leather Pouch full of Spanish Gold no tho it were to be reckond as
if at London whereas it was worth twice as much there at length he took it
kissd it told me the Watch should be a Debt upon him that he would be paying
as long as I livd
A few Days after he brought the Writings of Gift and the Scrivener with
him and I signd them very freely and deliverd them to him with a hundred
Kisses for sure nothing ever passd between a Mother and a tender Dutiful
Child with more Affection The next Day he brings me an Obligation under his
Hand and Seal whereby he engagd himself to Manage the Plantation for my
Account and to remit the Produce to my Order where ever I should be and
withal obligd himself to make up the Produce a hundred Pound a Year to me
When he had done so he told me that as I came to demand before the Crop was
off I had a Right to the Produce of the current Year and so he paid a hundred
Pound in Spanish Pieces of Eight and desird me to give him a Receipt for it as
in Full for that Year ending at Christmas following this being about the
latter End of August
I stayd here above five Weeks and indeed had much ado to get away then
Nay he would have come over the Bay with me but I would by no means allow it
however he would send me over in a Sloop of his own which was built like a
Yacht and servd him as well for Pleasure as Business This I accepted of and
so after the utmost Expressions both of Duty and Affection he let me come
away and I arrivd safe in two Days at my Friends the Quakers
I brought over with me for the Use of our Plantation three Horses with
Harness and Saddles some Hogs two Cows and a thousand other Things the Gift
of the Kindest and tenderest Child that ever Woman had I related to my Husband
all the Particulars of this Voyage except that I calld my Son my Cousin and
first I told him that I had lost my Watch which he seemd to take as a
Misfortune but then I told him how kind my Cousin had been that my Mother had
left me such a Plantation and that he had preservd it for me in Hopes some
time or other he should hear from me then I told him that I had left it to his
Management that he would render me a faithful Account of its Produce and then
I pulld him out the hundred Pound in Silver as the first Years Produce and
then pulling out the Deer Skin Purse with the Pistoles and here my Dear says
I is the Gold Watch Says my Husband So is Heavens Goodness sure to Work the
same Effects in all sensible Minds where Mercies touch the Heart lifted up
both his Hands and with an Extasy of Joy What is God a doing says he for
such an ungrateful Dog as I am Then I let him know what I had brought over in
the Sloop besides all this I mean the Horses Hogs and Cows and other Stores
for our Plantation all which added to his Surprize and filld his Heart with
thankfulness and from this time forward I believe he was as sincere a Penitent
and as thoroughly a reformd Man as ever Gods Goodness brought back from a
Profligate a HighwayMan and a Robber I could fill a larger History than this
with the Evidences of this Truth and but that I doubt that Part of the Story
will not be equally diverting as the wicked Part
But this is to be my own Story not my Husbands I return therefore to my
own Part we went on with our own Plantation and managd it with the Help and
Direction of such Friends as we got there and especially the honest Quaker who
provd a faithful generous and steady Friend to us and we had very good
Success for having a flourishing Stock to begin with as I have said and this
being now encreasd by the addition of a hundred and fifty Pound Sterling in
Money we enlargd our Number of Servants built us a very good House and curd
every Year a great deal of Land The second Year I wrote to my old Governess
giving her part with us of the Joy of our Success and orderd her how to lay
out the Money I had left with her which was 250l as above and to send it to
us in Goods which she performd with her usual Kindness and Fidelity and all
this arrivd safe to us
Here we had a Supply of all Sorts of Cloaths as well for my Husband as for
my self and I took especial Care to buy for him all those Things that I knew he
delighted to have as two good long Wigs two Silver Hilted Swords three or
four fine Fowling Pieces a fine Saddle with Holsters and Pistols very handsome
with a Scarlet Cloak and in a Word everything I could think of to oblige him
and to make him appear as he really was a very fine Gentleman I orderd a
good Quantity of such HousholdStuff as we wanted with Linnen for us both as
for my self I wanted very little of Cloaths or Linnen being very well
furnishd before The rest of my Cargo consisted in IronWork of all Sorts
Harness for Horses Tools Cloaths for Servants and WoollenCloth Stuffs
Serges Stockings Shoes Hats and the like such as Servants wear and whole
Pieces also to make up for Servants all by Direction of the Quaker and all
this Cargo arrived safe and in good Condition with three Women Servants lusty
Wenches which my old Governess had pickd up for me suitable enough to the
Place and to the Work we had for them to do one of which happend to come
Double having been got with Child by one of the Seamen in the Ship as she
ownd afterwards before the Ship got so far as Gravesend so she brought us a
stout Boy about seven Months after our Landing
My Husband you may suppose was a little surprizd at the arriving of this
Cargo from England and talking with me one Day after he saw the Particulars
my Dear says he what is the Meaning of all this I fear you will run us too
deep in Debt When shall we be able to make Returns for it all I smild and
told him that it was all paid for and then I told him that not knowing what
might befal us in the Voyage and considering what our Circumstances might
expose us to I had not taken my whole Stock with me that I had reservd so
much in my Friends Hands which now we were come over safe and settled in a
Way to Live I had sent for as he might see
He was amazd and stood awhile telling upon his Fingers but said nothing
at last he began thus Hold lets see says he telling upon his Fingers still
and first on his Thumb theres 246l in Money at first then two gold Watches
Diamond Rings and Plate says he upon the fore Finger then upon the next
Finger heres a Plantation on York River a 100l a Year then 150 in Money
then a Sloop load of Horses Cows Hogs and Stores and so on to the Thumb
again and now says he a Cargo cost 250 l in England and worth here twice
the Money well says I What do you make of all that make of it says he why
who says I was deceivd when I married a Wife in Lancashire I think I have
married a Fortune and a very good Fortune too says he
In a Word we were now in very considerable Circumstances and every Year
encreasing for our new Plantation grew upon our Hands insensibly and in eight
Year which we lived upon it we brought it to such a pitch that the Produce
was at least 300l Sterling a Year I mean worth so much in England
After I had been a Year at Home again I went over the Bay to see my Son
and to receive another Years Income of my Plantation and I was surprizd to
hear just at my Landing there that my old Husband was dead and had not been
buryd above a Fortnight This I confess was not disagreeable News because
now I could appear as I was in a marryd Condition so I told my Son before I
came from him that I believd I should marry a Gentleman who had a Plantation
near mine and tho I was legally free to marry as to any Obligation that was
on me before yet that I was shye of it least the Blot should some time or
other be revivd and it might make a Husband uneasy my Son the same kind
dutiful and obliging Creature as ever treated me now at his own House paid me
my hundred Pound and sent me Home again loaded with Presents
Some time after this I let my Son know I was marryd and invited him over
to see us and my Husband wrote a very obliging Letter to him also inviting him
to come and see him and he came accordingly some Months after and happend to
be there just when my Cargo from England came in which I let him believe
belongd all to my Husbands Estate and not to me
It must be observd that when the old Wretch my Brother Husband was
dead I then freely gave my Husband an Account of all that Affair and of this
Cousin as I calld him before being my own Son by that mistaken Match He was
perfectly easy in the Account and told me he should have been easy if the old
Man as we calld him had been alive for said he it was no Fault of yours
nor of his it was a Mistake impossible to be prevented he only reproachd him
with desiring me to conceal it and to live with him as a Wife after I knew
that he was my Brother that he said was a vile part Thus all these little
Difficulties were made easy and we livd together with the greatest Kindness
and Comfort imaginable we are now grown Old I am come back to England being
almost seventy Years of Age my Husband sixty eight having performd much more
than the limitted Terms of my Transportation And now notwithstanding all the
Fatigues and all the Miseries we have both gone thro we are both in good
Heart and Health my Husband remaind there some time after me to settle our
Affairs and at first I had intended to go back to him but at his desire I
alterd that Resolution and he is come over to England also where we resolve
to spend the Remainder of our Years in sincere Penitence for the wicked Lives
we have lived
WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1683
Finis
1 The Bell of St Sepulchres which Tolls upon Execution Day