Mark Twain
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Notice
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted
persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to
find a plot in it will be shot
BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR
PER G G CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
Explanatory
In this book a number of dialects are used to wit the Missouri negro dialect
the extremest form of the backwoods SouthWestern dialect the ordinary
PikeCounty dialect and four modified varieties of this last The shadings have
not been done in a haphazard fashion or by guesswork but painstakingly and
with the trustworthy guidance and support of personal familiarity with these
several forms of speech
I make this explanation for the reason that without it many readers would
suppose that all these characters were trying to talk alike and not succeeding
THE AUTHOR
Chapter I
You dont know about me without you have read a book by the name of »The
Adventures of Tom Sawyer« but that aint no matter That book was made by Mr
Mark Twain and he told the truth mainly There was things which he stretched
but mainly he told the truth That is nothing I never seen anybody but lied
one time or another without it was Aunt Polly or the widow or maybe Mary
Aunt Polly Toms Aunt Polly she is and Mary and the Widow Douglas is all
told about in that book which is mostly a true book with some stretchers as
I said before
Now the way that the book winds up is this Tom and me found the money that
the robbers hid in the cave and it made us rich We got six thousand dollars
apiece all gold It was an awful sight of money when it was piled up Well
Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out at interest and it fetched us a
dollar a day apiece all the year round more than a body could tell what to do
with The Widow Douglas she took me for her son and allowed she would sivilize
me but it was rough living in the house all the time considering how dismal
regular and decent the widow was in all her ways and so when I couldnt stand
it no longer I lit out I got into my old rags and my sugarhogshead again
and was free and satisfied But Tom Sawyer he hunted me up and said he was
going to start a band of robbers and I might join if I would go back to the
widow and be respectable So I went back
The widow she cried over me and called me a poor lost lamb and she called
me a lot of other names too but she never meant no harm by it She put me in
them new clothes again and I couldnt do nothing but sweat and sweat and feel
all cramped up Well then the old thing commenced again The widow rung a bell
for supper and you had to come to time When you got to the table you couldnt
go right to eating but you had to wait for the widow to tuck down her head and
grumble a little over the victuals though there warnt really anything the
matter with them That is nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a
barrel of odds and ends it is different things get mixed up and the juice kind
of swaps around and the things go better
After supper she got out her book and learned me about Moses and the
Bulrushers and I was in a sweat to find out all about him but byandby she
let it out that Moses had been dead a considerable long time so then I didnt
care no more about him because I dont take no stock in dead people
Pretty soon I wanted to smoke and asked the widow to let me But she
wouldnt She said it was a mean practice and wasnt clean and I must try to
not do it any more That is just the way with some people They get down on a
thing when they dont know nothing about it Here she was a bothering about
Moses which was no kin to her and no use to anybody being gone you see yet
finding a power of fault with me for doing a thing that had some good in it And
she took snuff too of course that was all right because she done it herself
Her sister Miss Watson a tolerable slim old maid with goggles on had
just come to live with her and took a set at me now with a spellingbook She
worked me middling hard for about an hour and then the widow made her ease up
I couldnt stood it much longer Then for an hour it was deadly dull and I was
fidgety Miss Watson would say »Dont put your feet up there Huckleberry« and
»dont scrunch up like that Huckleberry set up straight« and pretty soon she
would say »Dont gap and stretch like that Huckleberry why dont you try to
behave« Then she told me all about the bad place and I said I wished I was
there She got mad then but I didnt mean no harm All I wanted was to go
somewheres all I wanted was a change I warnt particular She said it was
wicked to say what I said said she wouldnt say it for the whole world she was
going to live so as to go to the good place Well I couldnt see no advantage
in going where she was going so I made up my mind I wouldnt try for it But I
never said so because it would only make trouble and wouldnt do no good
Now she had got a start and she went on and told me all about the good
place She said all a body would have to do there was to go around all day long
with a harp and sing forever and ever So I didnt think much of it But I
never said so I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer would go there and she
said not by a considerable sight I was glad about that because I wanted him
and me to be together
Miss Watson she kept pecking at me and it got tiresome and lonesome
Byandby they fetched the niggers in and had prayers and then everybody was
off to bed I went up to my room with a piece of candle and put it on the table
Then I set down in a chair by the window and tried to think of something
cheerful but it warnt no use I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead The
stars was shining and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful and I
heard an owl away off whowhooing about somebody that was dead and a
whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die and the wind
was trying to whisper something to me and I couldnt make out what it was and
so it made the cold shivers run over me Then away out in the woods I heard that
kind of a sound that a ghost makes when it wants to tell about something thats
on its mind and cant make itself understood and so cant rest easy in its
grave and has to go about that way every night grieving I got so downhearted
and scared I did wish I had some company Pretty soon a spider went crawling up
my shoulder and I flipped it off and it lit in the candle and before I could
budge it was all shriveled up I didnt need anybody to tell me that that was an
awful bad sign and would fetch me some bad luck so I was scared and most shook
the clothes off of me I got up and turned around in my tracks three times and
crossed my breast every time and then I tied up a little lock of my hair with a
thread to keep witches away But I hadnt no confidence You do that when youve
lost a horseshoe that youve found instead of nailing it up over the door but
I hadnt ever heard anybody say it was any way to keep off bad luck when youd
killed a spider
I set down again a shaking all over and got out my pipe for a smoke for
the house was all as still as death now and so the widow wouldnt know Well
after a long time I heard the clock away off in the town go boom boom boom
twelve licks and all still again stiller than ever Pretty soon I heard a
twig snap down in the dark amongst the trees something was a stirring I set
still and listened Directly I could just barely hear a »meyow meyow« down
there That was good Says I »meyow meyow« as soft as I could and then I
put out the light and scrambled out of the window onto the shed Then I slipped
down to the ground and crawled in amongst the trees and sure enough there was
Tom Sawyer waiting for me
Chapter II
We went tiptoeing along a path amongst the trees back towards the end of the
widows garden stooping down so as the branches wouldnt scrape our heads When
we was passing by the kitchen I fell over a root and made a noise We scrouched
down and laid still Miss Watsons big nigger named Jim was setting in the
kitchen door we could see him pretty clear because there was a light behind
him He got up and stretched his neck out about a minute listening Then he
says
»Who dah«
He listened some more then he come tiptoeing down and stood right between
us we could a touched him nearly Well likely it was minutes and minutes that
there warnt a sound and we all there so close together There was a place on
my ankle that got to itching but I dasnt scratch it and then my ear begun to
itch and next my back right between my shoulders Seemed like Id die if I
couldnt scratch Well Ive noticed that thing plenty of times since If you
are with the quality or at a funeral or trying to go to sleep when you aint
sleepy if you are anywheres where it wont do for you to scratch why you will
itch all over in upwards of a thousand places Pretty soon Jim says
»Say who is you Whar is you Dog my cats ef I didn hear sumfn Well I
knows what Is gwyne to do Is gwyne to set down here and listen tell I hears
it agin«
So he set down on the ground betwixt me and Tom He leaned his back up
against a tree and stretched his legs out till one of them most touched one of
mine My nose begun to itch It itched till the tears come into my eyes But I
dasnt scratch Then it begun to itch on the inside Next I got to itching
underneath I didnt know how I was going to set still This miserableness went
on as much as six or seven minutes but it seemed a sight longer than that I
was itching in eleven different places now I reckoned I couldnt stand it
moren a minute longer but I set my teeth hard and got ready to try Just then
Jim begun to breathe heavy next he begun to snore and then I was pretty soon
comfortable again
Tom he made a sign to me kind of a little noise with his mouth and we
went creeping away on our hands and knees When we was ten foot off Tom
whispered to me and wanted to tie Jim to the tree for fun but I said no he
might wake and make a disturbance and then theyd find out I warnt in Then
Tom said he hadnt got candles enough and he would slip in the kitchen and get
some more I didnt want him to try I said Jim might wake up and come But Tom
wanted to resk it so we slid in there and got three candles and Tom laid five
cents on the table for pay Then we got out and I was in a sweat to get away
but nothing would do Tom but he must crawl to where Jim was on his hands and
knees and play something on him I waited and it seemed a good while
everything was so still and lonesome
As soon as Tom was back we cut along the path around the garden fence and
byandby fetched up on the steep top of the hill the other side of the house
Tom said he slipped Jims hat off of his head and hung it on a limb right over
him and Jim stirred a little but he didnt wake Afterwards Jim said the
witches bewitched him and put him in a trance and rode him all over the State
and then set him under the trees again and hung his hat on a limb to show who
done it And next time Jim told it he said they rode him down to New Orleans
and after that every time he told it he spread it more and more till byandby
he said they rode him all over the world and tired him most to death and his
back was all over saddleboils Jim was monstrous proud about it and he got so
he wouldnt hardly notice the other niggers Niggers would come miles to hear
Jim tell about it and he was more looked up to than any nigger in that country
Strange niggers would stand with their mouths open and look him all over same
as if he was a wonder Niggers is always talking about witches in the dark by
the kitchen fire but whenever one was talking and letting on to know all about
such things Jim would happen in and say »Hm What you know bout witches« and
that nigger was corked up and had to take a back seat Jim always kept that
fivecenter piece around his neck with a string and said it was a charm the
devil give to him with his own hands and told him he could cure anybody with it
and fetch witches whenever he wanted to just by saying something to it but he
never told what it was he said to it Niggers would come from all around there
and give Jim anything they had just for a sight of that fivecenter piece but
they wouldnt touch it because the devil had had his hands on it Jim was most
ruined for a servant because he got so stuck up on account of having seen the
devil and been rode by witches
Well when Tom and me got to the edge of the hilltop we looked away down
into the village and could see three or four lights twinkling where there was
sick folks may be and the stars over us was sparkling ever so fine and down
by the village was the river a whole mile broad and awful still and grand We
went down the hill and found Jo Harper and Ben Rogers and two or three more of
the boys hid in the old tanyard So we unhitched a skiff and pulled down the
river two mile and a half to the big scar on the hillside and went ashore
We went to a clump of bushes and Tom made everybody swear to keep the
secret and then showed them a hole in the hill right in the thickest part of
the bushes Then we lit the candles and crawled in on our hands and knees We
went about two hundred yards and then the cave opened up Tom poked about
amongst the passages and pretty soon ducked under a wall where you wouldnt a
noticed that there was a hole We went along a narrow place and got into a kind
of room all damp and sweaty and cold and there we stopped Tom says
»Now well start this band of robbers and call it Tom Sawyers Gang
Everybody that wants to join has got to take an oath and write his name in
blood«
Everybody was willing So Tom got out a sheet of paper that he had wrote the
oath on and read it It swore every boy to stick to the band and never tell
any of the secrets and if anybody done anything to any boy in the band
whichever boy was ordered to kill that person and his family must do it and he
mustnt eat and he mustnt sleep till he had killed them and hacked a cross in
their breasts which was the sign of the band And nobody that didnt belong to
the band could use that mark and if he did he must be sued and if he done it
again he must be killed And if anybody that belonged to the band told the
secrets he must have his throat cut and then have his carcass burnt up and the
ashes scattered all around and his name blotted off of the list with blood and
never mentioned again by the gang but have a curse put on it and be forgot
forever
Everybody said it was a real beautiful oath and asked Tom it he got it out
of his own head He said some of it but the rest was out of pirate books and
robber books and every gang that was hightoned had it
Some thought it would be good to kill the families of boys that told the
secrets Tom said it was a good idea so he took a pencil and wrote it in Then
Ben Rogers says
»Heres Huck Finn he haint got no family what you going to do bout
him«
»Well haint he got a father« says Tom Sawyer
»Yes hes got a father but you cant never find him these days He used
to lay drunk with the hogs in the tanyard but he haint been seen in these
parts for a year or more«
They talked it over and they was going to rule me out because they said
every boy must have a family or somebody to kill or else it wouldnt be fair
and square for the others Well nobody could think of anything to do
everybody was stumped and set still I was most ready to cry but all at once I
thought of a way and so I offered them Miss Watson they could kill her
Everybody said
»Oh shell do shell do Thats all right Huck can come in«
Then they all stuck a pin in their fingers to get blood to sign with and I
made my mark on the paper
»Now« says Ben Rogers »whats the line of business of this Gang«
»Nothing only robbery and murder« Tom said
»But who are we going to rob houses or cattle or «
»Stuff stealing cattle and such things aint robbery its burglary« says
Tom Sawyer »We aint burglars That aint no sort of style We are highwaymen
We stop stages and carriages on the road with masks on and kill the people and
take their watches and money«
»Must we always kill the people«
»Oh certainly Its best Some authorities think different but mostly its
considered best to kill them Except some that you bring to the cave here and
keep them till theyre ransomed«
»Ransomed Whats that«
»I dont know But thats what they do Ive seen it in books and so of
course thats what weve got to do«
»But how can we do it if we dont know what it is«
»Why blame it all weve got to do it Dont I tell you its in the books
Do you want to go to doing different from whats in the books and get things
all muddled up«
»Oh thats all very fine to say Tom Sawyer but how in the nation are
these fellows going to be ransomed if we dont know how to do it to them thats
the thing I want to get at Now what do you reckon it is«
»Well I dont know But peraps if we keep them till theyre ransomed it
means that we keep them till theyre dead«
»Now thats something like Thatll answer Why couldnt you said that
before Well keep them till theyre ransomed to death and a bothersome lot
theyll be too eating up everything and always trying to get loose«
»How you talk Ben Rogers How can they get loose when theres a guard over
them ready to shoot them down if they move a peg«
»A guard Well that is good So somebodys got to set up all night and
never get any sleep just so as to watch them I think thats foolishness Why
cant a body take a club and ransom them as soon as they get here«
»Because it aint in the books so thats why Now Ben Rogers do you want
to do things regular or dont you thats the idea Dont you reckon that the
people that made the books knows whats the correct thing to do Do you reckon
you can learn em anything Not by a good deal No sir well just go on and
ransom them in the regular way«
»All right I dont mind but I say its a fool way anyhow Say do we
kill the women too«
»Well Ben Rogers if I was as ignorant as you I wouldnt let on Kill the
women No nobody ever saw anything in the books like that You fetch them to
the cave and youre always as polite as pie to them and byandby they fall in
love with you and never want to go home any more«
»Well if thats the way Im agreed but I dont take no stock in it
Mighty soon well have the cave so cluttered up with women and fellows waiting
to be ransomed that there wont be no place for the robbers But go ahead I
aint got nothing to say«
Little Tommy Barnes was asleep now and when they waked him up he was
scared and cried and said he wanted to go home to his ma and didnt want to
be a robber any more
So they all made fun of him and called him crybaby and that made him mad
and he said he would go straight and tell all the secrets But Tom give him five
cents to keep quiet and said we would all go home and meet next week and rob
somebody and kill some people
Ben Rogers said he couldnt get out much only Sundays and so he wanted to
begin next Sunday but all the boys said it would be wicked to do it on Sunday
and that settled the thing They agreed to get together and fix a day as soon as
they could and then we elected Tom Sawyer first captain and Jo Harper second
captain of the Gang and so started home
I clumb up the shed and crept into my window just before day was breaking
My new clothes was all greased up and clayey and I was dogtired
Chapter III
Well I got a good goingover in the morning from old Miss Watson on account
of my clothes but the widow she didnt scold but only cleaned off the grease
and clay and looked so sorry that I thought I would behave a while if I could
Then Miss Watson she took me in the closet and prayed but nothing come of it
She told me to pray every day and whatever I asked for I would get it But it
warnt so I tried it Once I got a fishline but no hooks It warnt any good
to me without hooks I tried for the hooks three or four times but somehow I
couldnt make it work Byandby one day I asked Miss Watson to try for me
but she said I was a fool She never told me why and I couldnt make it out no
way
I set down one time back in the woods and had a long think about it I
says to myself if a body can get anything they pray for why dont Deacon Winn
get back the money he lost on pork Why cant the widow get back her silver
snuffbox that was stole Why cant Miss Watson fat up No says I to myself
there aint nothing in it I went and told the widow about it and she said the
thing a body could get by praying for it was spiritual gifts This was too many
for me but she told me what she meant I must help other people and do
everything I could for other people and look out for them all the time and
never think about myself This was including Miss Watson as I took it I went
out in the woods and turned it over in my mind a long time but I couldnt see
no advantage about it except for the other people so at last I reckoned I
wouldnt worry about it any more but just let it go Sometimes the widow would
take me one side and talk about Providence in a way to make a bodys mouth
water but maybe next day Miss Watson would take hold and knock it all down
again I judged I could see that there was two Providences and a poor chap
would stand considerable show with the widows Providence but if Miss Watsons
got him there warnt no help for him any more I thought it all out and
reckoned I would belong to the widows if he wanted me though I couldnt make
out how he was agoing to be any better off then than what he was before seeing
I was so ignorant and so kind of lowdown and ornery
Pap he hadnt been seen for more than a year and that was comfortable for
me I didnt want to see him no more He used to always whale me when he was
sober and could get his hands on me though I used to take to the woods most of
the time when he was around Well about this time he was found in the river
drowned about twelve mile above town so people said They judged it was him
anyway said this drowned man was just his size and was ragged and had
uncommon long hair which was all like pap but they couldnt make nothing out
of the face because it had been in the water so long it warnt much like a face
at all They said he was floating on his back in the water They took him and
buried him on the bank But I warnt comfortable long because I happened to
think of something I knowed mighty well that a drownded man dont float on his
back but on his face So I knowed then that this warnt pap but a woman
dressed up in mans clothes So I was uncomfortable again I judged the old man
would turn up again byandby though I wished he wouldnt
We played robber now and then about a month and then I resigned All the
boys did We hadnt robbed nobody we hadnt killed any people but only just
pretended We used to hop out of the woods and go charging down on hogdrovers
and women in carts taking garden stuff to market but we never hived any of
them Tom Sawyer called the hogs ingots and he called the turnips and stuff
julery and we would go to the cave and powwow over what we had done and how
many people we had killed and marked But I couldnt see no profit in it One
time Tom sent a boy to run about town with a blazing stick which he called a
slogan which was the sign for the Gang to get together and then he said he
had got secret news by his spies that next day a whole parcel of Spanish
merchants and rich Arabs was going to camp in Cave Hollow with two hundred
elephants and six hundred camels and over a thousand sumter mules all loaded
down with dimonds and they didnt have only a guard of four hundred soldiers
and so we would lay in ambuscade as he called it and kill the lot and scoop
the things He said we must slick up our swords and guns and get ready He
never could go after even a turnipcart but he must have the swords and guns all
scoured up for it though they was only lath and broomsticks and you might
scour at them till you rotted and then they warnt worth a mouthful of ashes
more than what they was before I didnt believe we could lick such a crowd of
Spaniards and Arabs but I wanted to see the camels and elephants so I was on
hand next day Saturday in the ambuscade and when we got the word we rushed
out of the woods and down the hill But there warnt no Spaniards and Arabs
and there warnt no camels nor no elephants It warnt anything but a
Sundayschool picnic and only a primerclass at that We busted it up and
chased the children up the hollow but we never got anything but some doughnuts
and jam though Ben Rogers got a rag doll and Jo Harper got a hymnbook and a
tract and then the teacher charged in and made us drop everything and cut I
didnt see no dimonds and I told Tom Sawyer so He said there was loads of
them there anyway and he said there was Arabs there too and elephants and
things I said why couldnt we see them then He said if I warnt so ignorant
but had read a book called »Don Quixote« I would know without asking He said
it was all done by enchantment He said there was hundreds of soldiers there
and elephants and treasure and so on but we had enemies which he called
magicians and they had turned the whole thing into an infant Sunday school
just out of spite I said all right then the thing for us to do was to go for
the magicians Tom Sawyer said I was a numskull
»Why« says he »a magician could call up a lot of genies and they would
hash you up like nothing before you could say Jack Robinson They are as tall as
a tree and as big around as a church«
»Well« I says »spose we got some genies to help us cant we lick the
other crowd then«
»How you going to get them«
»I dont know How do they get them«
»Why they rub an old tin lamp or an iron ring and then the genies come
tearing in with the thunder and lightning aripping around and the smoke
arolling and everything theyre told to do they up and do it They dont think
nothing of pulling a shot tower up by the roots and belting a Sundayschool
superintendent over the head with it or any other man«
»Who makes them tear around so«
»Why whoever rubs the lamp or the ring They belong to whoever rubs the
lamp or the ring and theyve got to do whatever he says If he tells them to
build a palace forty miles long out of dimonds and fill it full of chewing
gum or whatever you want and fetch an emperors daughter from China for you to
marry theyve got to do it and theyve got to do it before sunup next
morning too And more theyve got to waltz that palace around over the
country wherever you want it you understand«
»Well« says I »I think they are a pack of flatheads for not keeping the
palace themselves stead of fooling them away like that And whats more if I
was one of them I would see a man in Jericho before I would drop my business and
come to him for the rubbing of an old tin lamp«
»How you talk Huck Finn Why youd have to come when he rubbed it whether
you wanted to or not«
»What and I as high as a tree and as big as a church All right then I
would come but I lay Id make that man climb the highest tree there was in the
country«
»Shucks it aint no use to talk to you Huck Finn You dont seem to know
anything somehow perfect saphead«
I thought all this over for two or three days and then I reckoned I would
see if there was anything in it I got an old tin lamp and an iron ring and went
out in the woods and rubbed and rubbed till I sweat like an Injun calculating
to build a palace and sell it but it warnt no use none of the genies come So
then I judged that all that stuff was only just one of Tom Sawyers lies I
reckoned he believed in the Arabs and the elephants but as for me I think
different It had all the marks of a Sunday school
Chapter IV
Well three or four months run along and it was well into the winter now I
had been to school most all the time and could spell and read and write just
a little and could say the multiplication table up to six times seven is
thirtyfive and I dont reckon I could ever get any further than that if I was
to live forever I dont take no stock in mathematics anyway
At first I hated the school but byandby I got so I could stand it
Whenever I got uncommon tired I played hookey and the hiding I got next day
done me good and cheered me up So the longer I went to school the easier it got
to be I was getting sort of used to the widows ways too and they warnt so
raspy on me Living in a house and sleeping in a bed pulled on me pretty
tight mostly but before the cold weather I used to slide out and sleep in the
woods sometimes and so that was a rest to me I liked the old ways best but I
was getting so I liked the new ones too a little bit The widow said I was
coming along slow but sure and doing very satisfactory She said she warnt
ashamed of me
One morning I happened to turn over the saltcellar at breakfast I reached
for some of it as quick as I could to throw over my left shoulder and keep off
the bad luck but Miss Watson was in ahead of me and crossed me off She says
»Take your hands away Huckleberry what a mess you are always making« The
widow put in a good word for me but that warnt going to keep off the bad luck
I knowed that well enough I started out after breakfast feeling worried and
shaky and wondering where it was going to fall on me and what it was going to
be There is ways to keep off some kinds of bad luck but this wasnt one of
them kind so I never tried to do anything but just poked along lowspirited
and on the watchout
I went down the front garden and clumb over the stile where you go through
the high board fence There was an inch of new snow on the ground and I seen
somebodys tracks They had come up from the quarry and stood around the stile a
while and then went on around the garden fence It was funny they hadnt come
in after standing around so I couldnt make it out It was very curious
somehow I was going to follow around but I stooped down to look at the tracks
first I didnt notice anything at first but next I did There was a cross in
the left bootheel made with big nails to keep off the devil
I was up in a second and shinning down the hill I looked over my shoulder
every now and then but I didnt see nobody I was at Judge Thatchers as quick
as I could get there He said
»Why my boy you are all out of breath Did you come for your interest«
»No sir« I says »is there some for me«
»Oh yes a halfyearly is in last night Over a hundred and fifty dollars
Quite a fortune for you You better let me invest it along with your six
thousand because if you take it youll spend it«
»No sir« I says »I dont want to spend it I dont want it at all nor
the six thousand nuther I want you to take it I want to give it to you the
six thousand and all«
He looked surprised He couldnt seem to make it out He says
»Why what can you mean my boy«
I says »Dont you ask me no questions about it please Youll take it
wont you«
He says
»Well Im puzzled Is something the matter«
»Please take it« says I »and dont ask me nothing then I wont have to
tell no lies«
He studied a while and then he says
»Ohoo I think I see You want to sell all your property to me not give
it Thats the correct idea«
Then he wrote something on a paper and read it over and says
»There you see it says for a consideration That means I have bought it of
you and paid you for it Heres a dollar for you Now you sign it«
So I signed it and left
Miss Watsons nigger Jim had a hairball as big as your fist which had
been took out of the fourth stomach of an ox and he used to do magic with it
He said there was a spirit inside of it and it knowed everything So I went to
him that night and told him pap was here again for I found his tracks in the
snow What I wanted to know was what he was going to do and was he going to
stay Jim got out his hairball and said something over it and then he held it
up and dropped it on the floor It fell pretty solid and only rolled about an
inch Jim tried it again and then another time and it acted just the same Jim
got down on his knees and put his ear against it and listened But it warnt no
use he said it wouldnt talk He said sometimes it wouldnt talk without money
I told him I had an old slick counterfeit quarter that warnt no good because
the brass showed through the silver a little and it wouldnt pass nohow even
if the brass didnt show because it was so slick it felt greasy and so that
would tell on it every time I reckoned I wouldnt say nothing about the dollar
I got from the judge I said it was pretty bad money but maybe the hairball
would take it because maybe it wouldnt know the difference Jim smelt it and
bit it and rubbed it and said he would manage so the hairball would think it
was good He said he would split open a raw Irish potato and stick the quarter
in between and keep it there all night and next morning you couldnt see no
brass and it wouldnt feel greasy no more and so anybody in town would take it
in a minute let alone a hairball Well I knowed a potato would do that
before but I had forgot it
Jim put the quarter under the hairball and got down and listened again
This time he said the hairball was all right He said it would tell my whole
fortune if I wanted it to I says go on So the hairball talked to Jim and
Jim told it to me He says
»Yo ole father doan know yit what hes agwyne to do Sometimes he spec
hell go way en den agin he spec hell stay De bes way is to res easy en
let de ole man take his own way Deys two angels hoverin roun bout him One
uv em is white en shiny en tother one is black De white one gits him to go
right a little while den de black one sail in en bust it all up A body cant
tell yit which one gwyne to fetch him at de las But you is all right You
gwyne to have considable trouble in yo life en considable joy Sometimes you
gwyne to git hurt en sometimes you gwyne to git sick but every time yous
gwyne to git well agin Deys two gals flyin bout you in yo life One uv
ems light en tother one is dark One is rich en tother is po Yous gwyne
to marry de po one fust en de rich one byenby You wants to keep way fum de
water as much as you kin en dont run no resk kase its down in de bills dat
yous gwyne to git hung«
When I lit my candle and went up to my room that night there set pap his
own self
Chapter V
I had shut the door to Then I turned around and there he was I used to be
scared of him all the time he tanned me so much I reckoned I was scared now
too but in a minute I see I was mistaken That is after the first jolt as you
may say when my breath sort of hitched he being so unexpected but right away
after I see I warnt scared of him worth bothering about
He was most fifty and he looked it His hair was long and tangled and
greasy and hung down and you could see his eyes shining through like he was
behind vines It was all black no gray so was his long mixedup whiskers
There warnt no color in his face where his face showed it was white not like
another mans white but a white to make a body sick a white to make a bodys
flesh crawl a treetoad white a fishbelly white As for his clothes just
rags that was all He had one ankle resting on tother knee the boot on that
foot was busted and two of his toes stuck through and he worked them now and
then His hat was laying on the floor an old black slouch with the top caved
in like a lid
I stood alooking at him he set there alooking at me with his chair
tilted back a little I set the candle down I noticed the window was up so he
had clumb in by the shed He kept alooking me all over Byandby he says
»Starchy clothes very You think youre a good deal of a bigbug dont
you«
»Maybe I am maybe I aint« I says
»Dont you give me none o your lip« says he »Youve put on considerble
many frills since I been away Ill take you down a peg before I get done with
you Youre educated too they say can read and write You think youre
bettern your father now dont you because he cant Ill take it out of you
Who told you you might meddle with such hifalutn foolishness hey who told
you you could«
»The widow She told me«
»The widow hey and who told the widow she could put in her shovel about
a thing that aint none of her business«
»Nobody never told her«
»Well Ill learn her how to meddle And looky here you drop that school
you hear Ill learn people to bring up a boy to put on airs over his own father
and let on to be bettern what he is You lemme catch you fooling around that
school again you hear Your mother couldnt read and she couldnt write
nuther before she died None of the family couldnt before they died I cant
and here youre aswelling yourself up like this I aint the man to stand it
you hear Say lemme hear you read«
I took up a book and begun something about General Washington and the wars
When Id read about a half a minute he fetched the book a whack with his hand
and knocked it across the house He says
»Its so You can do it I had my doubts when you told me Now looky here
you stop that putting on frills I wont have it Ill lay for you my smarty
and if I catch you about that school Ill tan you good First you know youll
get religion too I never see such a son«
He took up a little blue and yaller picture of some cows and a boy and
says
»Whats this«
»Its something they give me for learning my lessons good«
He tore it up and says
»Ill give you something better Ill give you a cowhide«
He set there amumbling and agrowling a minute and then he says
»Aint you a sweetscented dandy though A bed and bedclothes and a
looknglass and a piece of carpet on the floor and your own father got to
sleep with the hogs in the tanyard I never see such a son I bet Ill take some
o these frills out o you before Im done with you Why there aint no end to
your airs they say youre rich Hey hows that«
»They lie thats how«
»Looky here mind how you talk to me Im astanding about all I can stand
now so dont gimme no sass Ive been in town two days and I haint heard
nothing but about you bein rich I heard about it away down the river too
Thats why I come You git me that money tomorrow I want it«
»I haint got no money«
»Its a lie Judge Thatchers got it You git it I want it«
»I haint got no money I tell you You ask Judge Thatcher hell tell you
the same«
»All right Ill ask him and Ill make him pungle too or Ill know the
reason why Say how much you got in your pocket I want it«
»I haint got only a dollar and I want that to «
»It dont make no difference what you want it for you just shell it out«
He took it and bit it to see if it was good and then he said he was going
down town to get some whisky said he hadnt had a drink all day When he had
got out on the shed he put his head in again and cussed me for putting on
frills and trying to be better than him and when I reckoned he was gone he
come back and put his head in again and told me to mind about that school
because he was going to lay for me and lick me if I didnt drop that
Next day he was drunk and he went to Judge Thatchers and bullyragged him
and tried to make him give up the money but he couldnt and then he swore hed
make the law force him
The judge and the widow went to law to get the court to take me away from
him and let one of them be my guardian but it was a new judge that had just
come and he didnt know the old man so he said courts mustnt interfere and
separate families if they could help it said hed druther not take a child away
from its father So Judge Thatcher and the widow had to quit on the business
That pleased the old man till he couldnt rest He said hed cowhide me till
I was black and blue if I didnt raise some money for him I borrowed three
dollars from Judge Thatcher and pap took it and got drunk and went ablowing
around and cussing and whooping and carrying on and he kept it up all over
town with a tin pan till most midnight then they jailed him and next day
they had him before court and jailed him again for a week But he said he was
satisfied said he was boss of his son and hed make it warm for him
When he got out the new judge said he was agoing to make a man of him So he
took him to his own house and dressed him up clean and nice and had him to
breakfast and dinner and supper with the family and was just old pie to him so
to speak And after supper he talked to him about temperance and such things
till the old man cried and said hed been a fool and fooled away his life but
now he was agoing to turn over a new leaf and be a man nobody wouldnt be
ashamed of and he hoped the judge would help him and not look down on him The
judge said he could hug him for them words so he cried and his wife she cried
again pap said hed been a man that had always been misunderstood before and
the judge said he believed it The old man said that what a man wanted that was
down was sympathy and the judge said it was so so they cried again And when
it was bedtime the old man rose up and held out his hand and says
»Look at it gentlemen and ladies all take ahold of it shake it Theres a
hand that was the hand of a hog but it aint so no more its the hand of a man
thats started in on a new life and ll die before hell go back You mark them
words dont forget I said them Its a clean hand now shake it dont be
afeard«
So they shook it one after the other all around and cried The judges
wife she kissed it Then the old man he signed a pledge made his mark The
judge said it was the holiest time on record or something like that Then they
tucked the old man into a beautiful room which was the spare room and in the
night sometime he got powerful thirsty and clumb out onto the porchroof and
slid down a stanchion and traded his new coat for a jug of fortyrod and clumb
back again and had a good old time and towards daylight he crawled out again
drunk as a fiddler and rolled off the porch and broke his left arm in two
places and was most froze to death when somebody found him after sunup And
when they come to look at that spare room they had to take soundings before
they could navigate it
The judge he felt kind of sore He said he reckoned a body could reform the
ole man with a shotgun maybe but he didnt know no other way
Chapter VI
Well pretty soon the old man was up and around again and then he went for
Judge Thatcher in the courts to make him give up that money and he went for me
too for not stopping school He catched me a couple of times and thrashed me
but I went to school just the same and dodged him or outrun him most of the
time I didnt want to go to school much before but I reckoned Id go now to
spite pap That law trial was a slow business appeared like they warnt ever
going to get started on it so every now and then Id borrow two or three
dollars off of the judge for him to keep from getting a cowhiding Every time
he got money he got drunk and every time he got drunk he raised Cain around
town and every time he raised Cain he got jailed He was just suited this
kind of thing was right in his line
He got to hanging around the widows too much and so she told him at last
that if he didnt quit using around there she would make trouble for him Well
wasnt he mad He said he would show who was Huck Finns boss So he watched out
for me one day in the spring and catched me and took me up the river about
three mile in a skiff and crossed over to the Illinois shore where it was
woody and there warnt no houses but an old log hut in a place where the timber
was so thick you couldnt find it if you didnt know where it was
He kept me with him all the time and I never got a chance to run off We
lived in that old cabin and he always locked the door and put the key under his
head nights He had a gun which he had stole I reckon and we fished and
hunted and that was what we lived on Every little while he locked me in and
went down to the store three miles to the ferry and traded fish and game for
whisky and fetched it home and got drunk and had a good time and licked me The
widow she found out where I was byandby and she sent a man over to try to
get hold of me but pap drove him off with the gun and it warnt long after
that till I was used to being where I was and liked it all but the cowhide
part
It was kind of lazy and jolly laying off comfortable all day smoking and
fishing and no books nor study Two months or more run along and my clothes
got to be all rags and dirt and I didnt see how Id ever got to like it so
well at the widows where you had to wash and eat on a plate and comb up and
go to bed and get up regular and be forever bothering over a book and have old
Miss Watson pecking at you all the time I didnt want to go back no more I had
stopped cussing because the widow didnt like it but now I took to it again
because pap hadnt no objections It was pretty good times up in the woods
there take it all around
But byandby pap got too handy with his hickry and I couldnt stand it I
was all over welts He got to going away so much too and locking me in Once
he locked me in and was gone three days It was dreadful lonesome I judged he
had got drowned and I wasnt ever going to get out any more I was scared I
made up my mind I would fix up some way to leave there I had tried to get out
of that cabin many a time but I couldnt find no way There warnt a window to
it big enought for a dog to get through I couldnt get up the chimbly it was
too narrow The door was thick solid oak slabs Pap was pretty careful not to
leave a knife or anything in the cabin when he was away I reckon I had hunted
the place over as much as a hundred times well I was most all the time at it
because it was about the only way to put in the time But this time I found
something at last I found an old rusty woodsaw without any handle it was laid
in between a rafter and the clapboards of the roof I greased it up and went to
work There was an old horseblanket nailed against the logs at the far end of
the cabin behind the table to keep the wind from blowing through the chinks and
putting the candle out I got under the table and raised the blanket and went to
work to saw a section of the big bottom log out big enough to let me through
Well it was a good long job but I was getting towards the end of it when I
heard paps gun in the woods I got rid of the signs of my work and dropped the
blanket and hid my saw and pretty soon pap come in
Pap warnt in a good humor so he was his natural self He said he was down
to town and everything was going wrong His lawyer said he reckoned he would
win his lawsuit and get the money if they ever got started on the trial but
then there was ways to put it off a long time and Judge Thatcher knowed how to
do it And he said people allowed thered be another trial to get me away from
him and give me to the widow for my guardian and they guessed it would win
this time This shook me up considerable because I didnt want to go back to
the widows any more and be so cramped up and sivilized as they called it Then
the old man got to cussing and cussed everything and everybody he could think
of and then cussed them all over again to make sure he hadnt skipped any and
after that he polished off with a kind of a general cuss all round including a
considerable parcel of people which he didnt know the names of and so called
them whatshisname when he got to them and went right along with his
cussing
He said he would like to see the widow get me He said he would watch out
and if they tried to come any such game on him he knowed of a place six or seven
mile off to stow me in where they might hunt till they dropped and they
couldnt find me That made me pretty uneasy again but only for a minute I
reckoned I wouldnt stay on hand till he got that chance
The old man made me go to the skiff and fetch the things he had got There
was a fiftypound sack of corn meal and a side of bacon ammunition and a
fourgallon jug of whisky and an old book and two newspapers for wadding
besides some tow I toted up a load and went back and set down on the bow of
the skiff to rest I thought it all over and I reckoned I would walk off with
the gun and some lines and take to the woods when I run away I guessed I
wouldnt stay in one place but just tramp right across the country mostly
night times and hunt and fish to keep alive and so get so far away that the
old man nor the widow couldnt ever find me any more I judged I would saw out
and leave that night if pap got drunk enough and I reckoned he would I got so
full of it I didnt notice how long I was staying till the old man hollered and
asked me whether I was asleep or drownded
I got the things all up to the cabin and then it was about dark While I
was cooking supper the old man took a swig or two and got sort of warmed up and
went to ripping again He had been drunk over in town and laid in the gutter
all night and he was a sight to look at A body would a thought he was Adam he
was just all mud Whenever his liquor begun to work he most always went for the
govment This time he says
»Call this a govment why just look at it and see what its like Heres
the law astanding ready to take a mans son away from him a mans own son
which he has had all the trouble and all the anxiety and all the expense of
raising Yes just as that man has got that son raised at last and ready to go
to work and begin to do suthin for him and give him a rest the law up and goes
for him And they call that govment That aint all nuther The law backs that
old Judge Thatcher up and helps him to keep me out o my property Heres what
the law does The law takes a man worth six thousand dollars and upards and
jams him into an old trap of a cabin like this and lets him go round in clothes
that aint fitten for a hog They call that govment A man cant get his rights
in a govment like this Sometimes Ive a mighty notion to just leave the country
for good and all Yes and I told em so I told old Thatcher so to his face
Lots of em heard me and can tell what I said Says I for two cents Id leave
the blamed country and never come anear it agin Thems the very words I says
look at my hat if you call it a hat but the lid raises up and the rest of it
goes down till its below my chin and then it aint rightly a hat at all but
more like my head was shoved up through a jint o stovepipe Look at it says I
such a hat for me to wear one of the wealthiest men in this town if I could
git my rights
Oh yes this is a wonderful govment wonderful Why looky here There was
a free nigger there from Ohio a mulatter most as white as a white man He had
the whitest shirt on you ever see too and the shiniest hat and there aint a
man in that town thats got as fine clothes as what he had and he had a gold
watch and chain and a silverheaded cane the awfulest old grayheaded nabob
in the State And what do you think they said he was a pfessor in a college
and could talk all kinds of languages and knowed everything And that aint the
wust They said he could vote when he was at home Well that let me out
Thinks I what is the country acoming to It was lection day and I was just
about to go and vote myself if I warnt too drunk to get there but when they
told me there was a State in this country where theyd let that nigger vote I
drawed out I says Ill never vote agin Thems the very words I said they all
heard me and the country may rot for all me Ill never vote agin as long as I
live And to see the cool way of that nigger why he wouldnt a give me the
road if I hadnt shoved him out o the way I says to the people why aint this
nigger put up at auction and sold thats what I want to know And what do you
reckon they said Why they said he couldnt be sold till hed been in the State
six months and he hadnt been there that long yet There now thats a
specimen They call that a govment that cant sell a free nigger till hes been
in the State six months Heres a govment that calls itself a govment and lets
on to be a govment and thinks it is a govment and yets got to set stockstill
for six whole months before it can take ahold of a prowling thieving infernal
whiteshirted free nigger and «
Pap was agoing on so he never noticed where his old limber legs was taking
him to so he went head over heels over the tub of salt pork and barked both
shins and the rest of his speech was all the hottest kind of language mostly
hove at the nigger and the govment though he give the tub some too all along
here and there He hopped around the cabin considerable first on one leg and
then on the other holding first one shin and then the other one and at last he
let out with his left foot all of a sudden and fetched the tub a rattling kick
But it warnt good judgment because that was the boot that had a couple of his
toes leaking out of the front end of it so now he raised a howl that fairly
made a bodys hair raise and down he went in the dirt and rolled there and
held his toes and the cussing he done then laid over anything he had ever done
previous He said so his own self afterwards He had heard old Sowberry Hagan
in his best days and he said it laid over him too but I reckon that was sort
of piling it on maybe
After supper pap took the jug and said he had enough whisky there for two
drunks and one delirium tremens That was always his word I judged he would be
blind drunk in about an hour and then I would steal the key or saw myself out
one or tother He drank and drank and tumbled down on his blankets
byandby but luck didnt run my way He didnt go sound asleep but was
uneasy He groaned and moaned and thrashed around this way and that for a
long time At last I got so sleepy I couldnt keep my eyes open all I could do
and so before I knowed what I was about I was sound asleep and the candle
burning
I dont know how long I was asleep but all of a sudden there was an awful
scream and I was up There was pap looking wild and skipping around every which
way and yelling about snakes He said they was crawling up his legs and then he
would give a jump and scream and say one had bit him on the cheek but I
couldnt see no snakes He started and run round and round the cabin hollering
»take him off take him off hes biting me on the neck« I never see a man look
so wild in the eyes Pretty soon he was all fagged out and fell down panting
then he rolled over and over wonderful fast kicking things every which way
and striking and grabbing at the air with his hands and screaming and saying
there was devils ahold of him He wore out byandby and laid still a while
moaning Then he laid stiller and didnt make a sound I could hear the owls
and the wolves away off in the woods and it seemed terrible still He was
laying over by the corner Byandby he raised up part way and listened with
his head to one side He says very low
»Tramp tramp tramp thats the dead tramp tramp tramp theyre
coming after me but I wont go Oh theyre here dont touch me dont
hands off theyre cold let go Oh let a poor devil alone«
Then he went down on all fours and crawled off begging them to let him
alone and he rolled himself up in his blanket and wallowed in under the old
pine table still abegging and then he went to crying I could hear him
through the blanket
Byandby he rolled out and jumped up on his feet looking wild and he see me
and went for me He chased me round and round the place with a claspknife
calling me the Angel of Death and saying he would kill me and then I couldnt
come for him no more I begged and told him I was only Huck but he laughed
such a screechy laugh and roared and cussed and kept on chasing me up Once
when I turned short and dodged under his arm he made a grab and got me by the
jacket between my shoulders and I thought I was gone but I slid out of the
jacket quick as lightning and saved myself Pretty soon he was all tired out
and dropped down with his back against the door and said he would rest a minute
and then kill me He put his knife under him and said he would sleep and get
strong and then he would see who was who
So he dozed off pretty soon Byandby I got the old splitbottom chair and
clumb up as easy as I could not to make any noise and got down the gun I
slipped the ramrod down it to make sure it was loaded and then I laid it across
the turnip barrel pointing towards pap and set down behind it to wait for him
to stir And how slow and still the time did drag along
Chapter VII
»Git up what you bout«
I opened my eyes and looked around trying to make out where I was It was
after sunup and I had been sound asleep Pap was standing over me looking
sour and sick too He says
»What you doin with this gun«
I judged he didnt know nothing about what he had been doing so I says
»Somebody tried to get in so I was laying for him«
»Why didnt you roust me out«
»Well I tried to but I couldnt I couldnt budge you«
»Well all right Dont stand there palavering all day but out with you and
see if theres a fish on the lines for breakfast Ill be along in a minute«
He unlocked the door and I cleared out up the river bank I noticed some
pieces of limbs and such things floating down and a sprinkling of bark so I
knowed the river had begun to rise I reckoned I would have great times now if
I was over at the town The June rise used to be always luck for me because as
soon as that rise begins here comes cordwood floating down and pieces of log
rafts sometimes a dozen logs together so all you have to do is to catch them
and sell them to the wood yards and the sawmill
I went along up the bank with one eye out for pap and tother one out for
what the rise might fetch along Well all at once here comes a canoe just a
beauty too about thirteen or fourteen foot long riding high like a duck I
shot head first off of the bank like a frog clothes and all on and struck out
for the canoe I just expected thered be somebody laying down in it because
people often done that to fool folks and when a chap had pulled a skiff out
most to it theyd raise up and laugh at him But it warnt so this time It was
a driftcanoe sure enough and I clumb in and paddled her ashore Thinks I the
old man will be glad when he sees this shes worth ten dollars But when I got
to shore pap wasnt in sight yet and as I was running her into a little creek
like a gully all hung over with vines and willows I struck another idea I
judged Id hide her good and then stead of taking to the woods when I run off
Id go down the river about fifty mile and camp in one place for good and not
have such a rough time tramping on foot
It was pretty close to the shanty and I thought I heard the old man coming
all the time but I got her hid and then I out and looked around a bunch of
willows and there was the old man down the path apiece just drawing a bead on a
bird with his gun So he hadnt seen anything
When he got along I was hard at it taking up a trot line He abused me a
little for being so slow but I told him I fell in the river and that was what
made me so long I knowed he would see I was wet and then he would be asking
questions We got five catfish off of the lines and went home
While we laid off after breakfast to sleep up both of us being about wore
out I got to thinking that if I could fix up some way to keep pap and the widow
from trying to follow me it would be a certainer thing than trusting to luck to
get far enough off before they missed me you see all kinds of things might
happen Well I didnt see no way for a while but byandby pap raised up a
minute to drink another barrel of water and he says
»Another time a man comes aprowling round here you roust me out you hear
That man warnt here for no good Id a shot him Next time you roust me out
you hear«
Then he dropped down and went to sleep again but what he had been saying
give me the very idea I wanted I says to myself I can fix it now so nobody
wont think of following me
About twelve oclock we turned out and went along up the bank The river was
coming up pretty fast and lots of driftwood going by on the rise Byandby
along comes part of a log raft nine logs fast together We went out with the
skiff and towed it ashore Then we had dinner Anybody but pap would a waited
and seen the day through so as to catch more stuff but that warnt paps
style Nine logs was enough for one time he must shove right over to town and
sell So he locked me in and took the skiff and started off towing the raft
about halfpast three I judged he wouldnt come back that night I waited till
I reckoned he had got a good start then I out with my saw and went to work on
that log again Before he was tother side of the river I was out of the hole
him and his raft was just a speck on the water away off yonder
I took the sack of corn meal and took it to where the canoe was hid and
shoved the vines and branches apart and put it in then I done the same with the
side of bacon then the whisky jug I took all the coffee and sugar there was
and all the ammunition I took the wadding I took the bucket and gourd I took
a dipper and a tin cup and my old saw and two blankets and the skillet and the
coffeepot I took fishlines and matches and other things everything that was
worth a cent I cleaned out the place I wanted an axe but there wasnt any
only the one out at the wood pile and I knowed why I was going to leave that I
fetched out the gun and now I was done
I had wore the ground a good deal crawling out of the hole and dragging out
so many things So I fixed that as good as I could from the outside by
scattering dust on the place which covered up the smoothness and the sawdust
Then I fixed the piece of log back into its place and put two rocks under it
and one against it to hold it there for it was bent up at that place and
didnt quite touch ground If you stood four or five foot away and didnt know
it was sawed you wouldnt ever notice it and besides this was the back of the
cabin and it warnt likely anybody would go fooling around there
It was all grass clear to the canoe so I hadnt left a track I followed
around to see I stood on the bank and looked out over the river All safe So I
took the gun and went up a piece into the woods and was hunting around for some
birds when I see a wild pig hogs soon went wild in them bottoms after they had
got away from the prairie farms I shot this fellow and took him into camp
I took the axe and smashed in the door I beat it and hacked it
considerable adoing it I fetched the pig in and took him back nearly to the
table and hacked into his throat with the ax and laid him down on the ground to
bleed I say ground because it was ground hard packed and no boards Well
next I took an old sack and put a lot of big rocks in it all I could drag
and I started it from the pig and dragged it to the door and through the woods
down to the river and dumped it in and down it sunk out of sight You could
easy see that something had been dragged over the ground I did wish Tom Sawyer
was there I knowed he would take an interest in this kind of business and
throw in the fancy touches Nobody could spread himself like Tom Sawyer in such
a thing as that
Well last I pulled out some of my hair and bloodied the ax good and stuck
it on the back side and slung the ax in the corner Then I took up the pig and
held him to my breast with my jacket so he couldnt drip till I got a good
piece below the house and then dumped him into the river Now I thought of
something else So I went and got the bag of meal and my old saw out of the
canoe and fetched them to the house I took the bag to where it used to stand
and ripped a hole in the bottom of it with the saw for there warnt no knives
and forks on the place pap done everything with his claspknife about the
cooking Then I carried the sack about a hundred yards across the grass and
through the willows east of the house to a shallow lake that was five mile wide
and full of rushes and ducks too you might say in the season There was a
slough or a creek leading out of it on the other side that went miles away I
dont know where but it didnt go to the river The meal sifted out and made a
little track all the way to the lake I dropped paps whetstone there too so as
to look like it had been done by accident Then I tied up the rip in the meal
sack with a string so it wouldnt leak no more and took it and my saw to the
canoe again
It was about dark now so I dropped the canoe down the river under some
willows that hung over the bank and waited for the moon to rise I made fast to
a willow then I took a bite to eat and byandby laid down in the canoe to
smoke a pipe and lay out a plan I says to myself theyll follow the track of
that sackful of rocks to the shore and then drag the river for me And theyll
follow that meal track to the lake and go browsing down the creek that leads out
of it to find the robbers that killed me and took the things They wont ever
hunt the river for anything but my dead carcass Theyll soon get tired of that
and wont bother no more about me All right I can stop anywhere I want to
Jacksons Island is good enough for me I know that island pretty well and
nobody ever comes there And then I can paddle over to town nights and slink
around and pick up things I want Jacksons Islands the place
I was pretty tired and the first thing I knowed I was asleep When I woke
up I didnt know where I was for a minute I set up and looked around a little
scared Then I remembered The river looked miles and miles across The moon was
so bright I could a counted the drift logs that went a slipping along black and
still hundreds of yards out from shore Everything was dead quiet and it
looked late and smelt late You know what I mean I dont know the words to
put it in
I took a good gap and a stretch and was just going to unhitch and start
when I heard a sound away over the water I listened Pretty soon I made it out
It was that dull kind of a regular sound that comes from oars working in
rowlocks when its a still night I peeped out through the willow branches and
there it was a skiff away across the water I couldnt tell how many was in
it It kept acoming and when it was abreast of me I see there warnt but one
man in it Thinks I maybe its pap though I warnt expecting him He dropped
below me with the current and byandby he come aswinging up shore in the
easy water and he went by so close I could a reached out the gun and touched
him Well it was pap sure enough and sober too by the way he laid to his
oars
I didnt lose no time The next minute I was aspinning down stream soft but
quick in the shade of the bank I made two mile and a half and then struck out
a quarter of a mile or more towards the middle of the river because pretty soon
I would be passing the ferry landing and people might see me and hail me I got
out amongst the driftwood and then laid down in the bottom of the canoe and let
her float I laid there and had a good rest and a smoke out of my pipe looking
away into the sky not a cloud in it The sky looks ever so deep when you lay
down on your back in the moonshine I never knowed it before And how far a body
can hear on the water such nights I heard people talking at the ferry landing
I heard what they said too every word of it One man said it was getting
towards the long days and the short nights now Tother one said this warnt
one of the short ones he reckoned and then they laughed and he said it over
again and they laughed again then they waked up another fellow and told him
and laughed but he didnt laugh he ripped out something brisk and said let him
alone The first fellow said he lowed to tell it to his old woman she would
think it was pretty good but he said that warnt nothing to some things he had
said in his time I heard one man say it was nearly three oclock and he hoped
daylight wouldnt wait more than about week longer After that the talk got
further and further away and I couldnt make out the words any more but I
could hear the mumble and now and then a laugh too but it seemed a long ways
off
I was away below the ferry now I rose up and there was Jacksons Island
about two mile and a half down stream heavytimbered and standing up out of the
middle of the river big and dark and solid like a steamboat without any
lights There warnt any signs of the bar at the head it was all under water
now
It didnt take me long to get there I shot past the head at a ripping rate
the current was so swift and then I got into the dead water and landed on the
side towards the Illinois shore I run the canoe into a deep dent in the bank
that I knowed about I had to part the willow branches to get in and when I
made fast nobody could a seen the canoe from the outside
I went up and set down on a log at the head of the island and looked out on
the big river and the black driftwood and away over to the town three mile
away where there was three or four lights twinkling A monstrous big lumber
raft was about a mile up stream coming along down with a lantern in the middle
of it I watched it come creeping down and when it was most abreast of where I
stood I heard a man say »Stern oars there heave her head to stabboard« I
heard that just as plain as if the man was by my side
There was a little gray in the sky now so I stepped into the woods and
laid down for a nap before breakfast
Chapter VIII
The sun was up so high when I waked that I judged it was after eight oclock I
laid there in the grass and the cool shade thinking about things and feeling
rested and ruther comfortable and satisfied I could see the sun out at one or
two holes but mostly it was big trees all about and gloomy in there amongst
them There was freckled places on the ground where the light sifted down
through the leaves and the freckled places swapped about a little showing
there was a little breeze up there A couple of squirrels set on a limb and
jabbered at me very friendly
I was powerful lazy and comfortable didnt want to get up and cook
breakfast Well I was dozing off again when I thinks I hears a deep sound of
»boom« away up the river I rouses up and rests on my elbow and listens pretty
soon I hears it again I hopped up and went and looked out at a hole in the
leaves and I see a bunch of smoke laying on the water a long ways up about
abreast the ferry And there was the ferryboat full of people floating along
down I knowed what was the matter now »Boom« I see the white smoke squirt
out of the ferryboats side You see they was firing cannon over the water
trying to make my carcass come to the top
I was pretty hungry but it warnt going to do for me to start a fire
because they might see the smoke So I set there and watched the cannonsmoke
and listened to the boom The river was a mile wide there and it always looks
pretty on a summer morning so I was having a good enough time seeing them hunt
for my remainders if I only had a bite to eat Well then I happened to think
how they always put quicksilver in loaves of bread and float them off because
they always go right to the drownded carcass and stop there So says I Ill
keep a lookout and if any of thems floating around after me Ill give them a
show I changed to the Illinois edge of the island to see what luck I could
have and I warnt disappointed A big double loaf come along and I most got
it with a long stick but my foot slipped and she floated out further Of
course I was where the current set in the closest to the shore I knowed enough
for that But byandby along comes another one and this time I won I took out
the plug and shook out the little dab of quicksilver and set my teeth in It
was bakers bread what the quality eat none of your lowdown cornpone
I got a good place amongst the leaves and set there on a log munching the
bread and watching the ferryboat and very well satisfied And then something
struck me I says now I reckon the widow or the parson or somebody prayed that
this bread would find me and here it has gone and done it So there aint no
doubt but there is something in that thing That is theres something in it
when a body like the widow or the parson prays but it dont work for me and I
reckon it dont work for only just the right kind
I lit a pipe and had a good long smoke and went on watching The ferryboat
was floating with the current and I allowed Id have a chance to see who was
aboard when she come along because she would come in close where the bread
did When shed got pretty well along down towards me I put out my pipe and
went to where I fished out the bread and laid down behind a log on the bank in
a little open place Where the log forked I could peep through
Byandby she come along and she drifted in so close that they could a run
out a plank and walked ashore Most everybody was on the boat Pap and Judge
Thatcher and Bessie Thatcher and Jo Harper and Tom Sawyer and his old Aunt
Polly and Sid and Mary and plenty more Everybody was talking about the
murder but the captain broke in and says
»Look sharp now the current sets in the closest here and maybe hes
washed ashore and got tangled amongst the brush at the waters edge I hope so
anyway«
I didnt hope so They all crowded up and leaned over the rails nearly in
my face and kept still watching with all their might I could see them
firstrate but they couldnt see me Then the captain sung out
»Stand away« and the cannon let off such a blast right before me that it
made me deef with the noise and pretty near blind with the smoke and I judged I
was gone If theyd a had some bullets in I reckon theyd a got the corpse they
was after Well I see I warnt hurt thanks to goodness The boat floated on
and went out of sight around the shoulder of the island I could hear the
booming now and then further and further off and byandby after an hour I
didnt hear it no more The island was three mile long I judged they had got to
the foot and was giving it up But they didnt yet a while They turned around
the foot of the island and started up the channel on the Missouri side under
steam and booming once in a while as they went I crossed over to that side and
watched them When they got abreast the head of the island they quit shooting
and dropped over to the Missouri shore and went home to the town
I knowed I was all right now Nobody else would come ahunting after me I
got my traps out of the canoe and made me a nice camp in the thick woods I made
a kind of a tent out of my blankets to put my things under so the rain couldnt
get at them I catched a catfish and haggled him open with my saw and towards
sundown I started my camp fire and had supper Then I set out a line to catch
some fish for breakfast
When it was dark I set by my camp fire smoking and feeling pretty
satisfied but byandby it got sort of lonesome and so I went and set on the
bank and listened to the currents washing along and counted the stars and
driftlogs and rafts that come down and then went to bed there aint no better
way to put in time when you are lonesome you cant stay so you soon get over
it
And so for three days and nights No difference just the same thing But
the next day I went exploring around down through the island I was boss of it
it all belonged to me so to say and I wanted to know all about it but mainly
I wanted to put in the time I found plenty strawberries ripe and prime and
green summergrapes and green razberries and the green blackberries was just
beginning to show They would all come handy byandby I judged
Well I went fooling along in the deep woods till I judged I warnt far from
the foot of the island I had my gun along but I hadnt shot nothing it was
for protection thought I would kill some game nigh home About this time I
mighty near stepped on a good sized snake and it went sliding off through the
grass and flowers and I after it trying to get a shot at it I clipped along
and all of a sudden I bounded right on to the ashes of a camp fire that was
still smoking
My heart jumped up amongst my lungs I never waited for to look further but
uncocked my gun and went sneaking back on my tiptoes as fast as ever I could
Every now and then I stopped a second amongst the thick leaves and listened
but my breath come so hard I couldnt hear nothing else I slunk along another
piece further then listened again and so on and so on if I see a stump I
took it for a man if I trod on a stick and broke it it made me feel like a
person had cut one of my breaths in two and I only got half and the short half
too
When I got to camp I warnt feeling very brash there warnt much sand in my
craw but I says this aint no time to be fooling around So I got all my traps
into my canoe again so as to have them out of sight and I put out the fire and
scattered the ashes around to look like an old last years camp and then clumb
a tree
I reckon I was up in the tree two hours but I didnt see nothing I didnt
hear nothing I only thought I heard and seen as much as a thousand things
Well I couldnt stay up there forever so at last I got down but I kept in the
thick woods and on the lookout all the time All I could get to eat was berries
and what was left over from breakfast
By the time it was night I was pretty hungry So when it was good and dark
I slid out from shore before moonrise and paddled over to the Illinois bank
about a quarter of a mile I went out in the woods and cooked a supper and I
had about made up my mind I would stay there all night when I hear a
plunketyplunk plunketyplunk and says to myself horses coming and next I
hear peoples voices I got everything into the canoe as quick as I could and
then went creeping through the woods to see what I could find out I hadnt got
far when I hear a man say
»We better camp here if we can find a good place the horses is about beat
out Lets look around«
I didnt wait but shoved out and paddled away easy I tied up in the old
place and reckoned I would sleep in the canoe
I didnt sleep much I couldnt somehow for thinking And every time I
waked up I thought somebody had me by the neck So the sleep didnt do me no
good Byandby I says to myself I cant live this way Im agoing to find out
who it is thats here on the island with me Ill find it out or bust Well I
felt better right off
So I took my paddle and slid out from shore just a step or two and then let
the canoe drop along down amongst the shadows The moon was shining and outside
of the shadows it made it most as light as day I poked along well onto an hour
everything still as rocks and sound asleep Well by this time I was most down to
the foot of the island A little ripply cool breeze begun to blow and that was
as good as saying the night was about done I give her a turn with the paddle
and brung her nose to shore then I got my gun and slipped out and into the edge
of the woods I set down there on a log and looked out through the leaves I see
the moon go off watch and the darkness begin to blanket the river But in a
little while I see a pale streak over the treetops and knowed the day was
coming So I took my gun and slipped off towards where I had run across that
camp fire stopping every minute or two to listen But I hadnt no luck
somehow I couldnt seem to find the place But byandby sure enough I
catched a glimpse of fire away through the trees I went for it cautious and
slow Byandby I was close enough to have a look and there laid a man on the
ground It most give me the fantods He had a blanket around his head and his
head was nearly in the fire I set there behind a clump of bushes in about six
foot of him and kept my eyes on him steady It was getting gray daylight now
Pretty soon he gapped and stretched himself and hove off the blanket and it
was Miss Watsons Jim I bet I was glad to see him I says
»Hello Jim« and skipped out
He bounced up and stared at me wild Then he drops down on his knees and
puts his hands together and says
»Doan hurt me dont I haint ever done no harm to a ghos I awluz liked
dead people en done all I could for em You go en git in de river agin whah
you blongs en doan do nuffn to Ole Jim at uz awluz yo fren«
Well I warnt long making him understand I warnt dead I was ever so glad
to see Jim I warnt lonesome now I told him I warnt afraid of him telling
the people where I was I talked along but he only set there and looked at me
never said nothing Then I says
»Its good daylight Les get breakfast Make up your camp fire good«
»Whats de use er makin up de camp fire to cook strawbries en sich truck
But you got a gun haint you Den we kin git sumfn better den strawbries«
»Strawberries and such truck« I says »Is that what you live on«
»I couldn git nuffn else« he says
»Why how long you been on the island Jim«
»I come heah de night arter yous killed«
»What all that time«
»Yesindeedy«
»And aint you had nothing but that kind of rubbage to eat«
»No sah nuffn else«
»Well you must be most starved aint you«
»I reckn I could eat a hoss I think I could How long you ben on de
islan«
»Since the night I got killed«
»No Wy what has you lived on But you got a gun Oh yes you got a gun
Dats good Now you kill sumfn en Ill make up de fire«
So we went over to where the canoe was and while he built a fire in a
grassy open place amongst the trees I fetched meal and bacon and coffee and
coffeepot and fryingpan and sugar and tin cups and the nigger was set back
considerable because he reckoned it was all done with witchcraft I catched a
good big catfish too and Jim cleaned him with his knife and fried him
When breakfast was ready we lolled on the grass and eat it smoking hot Jim
laid it in with all his might for he was most about starved Then when we had
got pretty well stuffed we laid off and lazied
Byandby Jim says
»But looky here Huck who wuz it dat uz killed in dat shanty ef it warnt
you«
Then I told him the whole thing and he said it was smart He said Tom
Sawyer couldnt get up no better plan than what I had Then I says
»How do you come to be here Jim and howd you get here«
He looked pretty uneasy and didnt say nothing for a minute Then he says
»Maybe I better not tell«
»Why Jim«
»Well deys reasons But you wouldn tell on me ef I uz to tell you would
you Huck«
»Blamed if I would Jim«
»Well I blieve you Huck I I run off«
»Jim«
»But mind you said you wouldnt tell you know you said you wouldnt tell
Huck«
»Well I did I said I wouldnt and Ill stick to it Honest injun I will
People would call me a low down Ablitionist and despise me for keeping mum but
that dont make no difference I aint agoing to tell and I aint agoing back
there anyways So now les know all about it«
»Well you see it uz dis way Ole Missus dats Miss Watson she pecks
on me all de time en treats me pooty rough but she awluz said she wouldn sell
me down to Orleans But I noticed dey wuz a nigger trader roun de place
considable lately en I begin to git oneasy Well one night I creeps to de
do pooty late en de do warnt quite shet en I hear ole missus tell de
widder she gwyne to sell me down to Orleans but she didn want to but she
could git eight hundd dollars for me en it uz sich a big stack o money she
couldn resis De widder she try to git her to say she wouldn do it but I
never waited to hear de res I lit out mighty quick I tell you
I tuck out en shin down de hill en spec to steal a skift long de sho
somers bove de town but dey wuz people astirrin yit so I hid in de ole
tumbledown cooper shop on de bank to wait for everybody to go way Well I wuz
dah all night Dey wuz somebody roun all de time Long bout six in de
mawnin skifts begin to go by en bout eight er nine every skift dat went
long wuz talkin bout how yo pap come over to de town en say yous killed
Dese las skifts wuz full o ladies en genlmen agoin over for to see de place
Sometimes deyd pull up at de sho en take a res bfo dey started acrost so
by de talk I got to know all bout de killin I uz powerful sorry yous
killed Huck but I aint no mo now
I laid dah under de shavins all day I uz hungry but I warnt afeard
bekase I knowed ole missus en de widder wuz goin to start to de campmeetn
right arter breakfas en be gone all day en dey knows I goes off wid de cattle
bout daylight so dey wouldn spec to see me roun de place en so dey wouldn
miss me tell arter dark in de evenin De yuther servants wouldn miss me kase
deyd shin out en take holiday soon as de ole folks uz outn de way
Well when it come dark I tuck out up de river road en went bout two mile
er more to whah dev warnt no houses Id made up my mine bout what Is agwyne
to do You see ef I kep on tryin to git away afoot de dogs ud track me ef I
stole a skift to cross over deyd miss dat skift you see en deyd know bout
whah Id lan on de yuther side en whah to pick up my track So I says a raff
is what Is arter it doan make no track
I see a light acomin roun de pint bymeby so I wade in en shove a log
ahead o me en swum moren halfway acrost de river en got in mongst de
driftwood en kep my head down low en kinder swum agin de current tell de
raff come along Den I swum to de stern uv it en tuck aholt It clouded up en
uz pooty dark for a little while So I clumb up en laid down on de planks De
men uz all way yonder in de middle whah de lantern wuz De river wuz arisin
en dey wuz a good current so I recknd at by fo in de mawnin Id be
twentyfive mile down de river en den Id slip in jis bfo daylight en swim
asho en take to de woods on de Illinoi side
But I didn have no luck When we uz mos down to de head er de islan a
man begin to come aft wid de lantern I see it warnt no use fer to wait so I
slid overboard en struck out fer de islan Well I had a notion I could lan
mos anywhers but I couldnt bank too bluff I uz mos to de foot er de
islan bfo I foun a good place I went into de woods en jedged I wouldn fool
wid raffs no mo long as dey move de lantern roun so I had my pipe en a plug
er dogleg en some matches in my cap en dey warnt wet so I uz all right«
»And so you aint had no meat nor bread to eat all this time Why didnt you
get mudturkles«
»How you gwyne to gitm You cant slip up on um en grab um en hows a body
gwyne to hit um wid a rock How could a body do it in de night en I warnt
gwyne to show mysef on de bank in de daytime«
»Well thats so Youve had to keep in the woods all the time of course
Did you hear em shooting the cannon«
»Oh yes I knowed dey was arter you I see um go by heah watched um thoo
de bushes«
Some young birds come along flying a yard or two at a time and lighting
Jim said it was a sign it was going to rain He said it was a sign when young
chickens flew that way and so he reckoned it was the same way when young birds
done it I was going to catch some of them but Jim wouldnt let me He said it
was death He said his father laid mighty sick once and some of them catched a
bird and his old granny said his father would die and he did
And Jim said you musnt count the things you are going to cook for dinner
because that would bring bad luck The same if you shook the tablecloth after
sundown And he said if a man owned a beehive and that man died the bees must
be told about it before sunup next morning or else the bees would all weaken
down and quit work and die Jim said bees wouldnt sting idiots but I didnt
believe that because I had tried them lots of times myself and they wouldnt
sting me
I had heard about some of these things before but not all of them Jim
knowed all kinds of signs He said he knowed most everything I said it looked
to me like all the signs was about bad luck and so I asked him if there warnt
any goodluck signs He says
»Mighty few an dey ain no use to a body What you want to know when good
lucks acomin for want to keep it off« And he said »Ef yous got hairy arms
en a hairy breas its a sign dat yous agwyne to be rich Well deys some use
in a sign like dat kase its so fur ahead You see maybe yous got to be po
a long time fust en so you might git discourage en kill yosef f you didn
know by de sign dat you gwyne to be rich bymeby«
»Have you got hairy arms and a hairy breast Jim«
»Whats de use to ax dat question don you see I has«
»Well are you rich«
»No but I ben rich wunst and gwyne to be rich agin Wunst I had foteen
dollars but I tuck to specalatn en got busted out«
»What did you speculate in Jim«
»Well fust I tackled stock«
»What kind of stock«
»Why live stock Cattle you know I put ten dollars in a cow But I ain
gwyne to resk no mo money in stock De cow up n died on my hans«
»So you lost the ten dollars«
»No I didn lose it all I ony los bout nine of it I sole de hide en
taller for a dollar en ten cents«
»You had five dollars and ten cents left Did you speculate any more«
»Yes You know dat onelaigged nigger dat blongs to old Misto Bradish
well he sot up a bank en say anybody dat put in a dollar would git fo dollars
mo at de en er de year Well all de niggers went in but dey didn have much
I wuz de ony one dat had much So I stuck out for mo dan fo dollars en I
said f I didnt git it Id start a bank mysef Well o course dat nigger want
to keep me out er de business bekase he say dey warnt business nough for two
banks so he say I could put in my five dollars en he pay me thirty at de en
er de year
So I done it Den I recknd Id inves de thirtyfive dollars right off en
keep things amovin Dey wuz a nigger name Bob dat had ketched a woodflat
en his marster didn know it en I bought it offn him en told him to take de
thirtyfive dollars when de en er de year come but somebody stole de woodflat
dat night en nex day de onelaigged nigger say de bank s busted So dey didn
none uv us git no money«
»What did you do with the ten cents Jim«
»Well I uz gwyne to spen it but I had a dream en de dream tole me to
give it to a nigger name Balum Balums Ass dey call him for short hes one
er dem chuckleheads you know But hes lucky dey say en I see I warnt
lucky De dream say let Balum inves de ten cents en hed make a raise for me
Well Balum he tuck de money en when he wuz in church he hear de preacher say
dat whoever give to de po len to de Lord en boun to git his money back a
hundd times So Balum he tuck en give de ten cents to de po en laid low to
see what wuz gwyne to come of it«
»Well what did come of it Jim«
»Nuffn never come of it I couldn manage to kleck dat money no way en
Balum he couldn I ain gwyne to len no mo money dout I see de security
Boun to git yo money back a hundd times de preacher says Ef I could git de
ten cents back Id call it squah en be glad er de chanst«
»Well its all right anyway Jim long as youre going to be rich again
some time or other«
»Yes en Is rich now come to look at it I owns mysef en Is wuth eight
hundd dollars I wisht I had de money I wouldn want no mo«
Chapter IX
I wanted to go and look at a place right about the middle of the island that
Id found when I was exploring so we started and soon got to it because the
island was only three miles long and a quarter of a mile wide
This place was a tolerable long steep hill or ridge about forty foot high
We had a rough time getting to the top the sides was so steep and the bushes so
thick We tramped and clumb around all over it and byandby found a good big
cavern in the rock most up to the top on the side towards Illinois The cavern
was as big as two or three rooms bunched together and Jim could stand up
straight in it It was cool in there Jim was for putting our traps in there
right away but I said we didnt want to be climbing up and down there all the
time
Jim said if we had the canoe hid in a good place and had all the traps in
the cavern we could rush there if anybody was to come to the island and they
would never find us without dogs And besides he said them little birds had
said it was going to rain and did I want the things to get wet
So we went back and got the canoe and paddled up abreast the cavern and
lugged all the traps up there Then we hunted up a place close by to hide the
canoe in amongst the thick willows We took some fish off of the lines and set
them again and begun to get ready for dinner
The door of the cavern was big enough to roll a hogshead in and on one side
of the door the floor stuck out a little bit and was flat and a good place to
build a fire on So we built it there and cooked dinner
We spread the blankets inside for a carpet and eat our dinner in there We
put all the other things handy at the back of the cavern Pretty soon it
darkened up and begun to thunder and lighten so the birds was right about it
Directly it begun to rain and it rained like all fury too and I never see the
wind blow so It was one of these regular summer storms It would get so dark
that it looked all blueblack outside and lovely and the rain would thrash
along by so thick that the trees off a little ways looked dim and spiderwebby
and here would come a blast of wind that would bend the trees down and turn up
the pale underside of the leaves and then a perfect ripper of a gust would
follow along and set the branches to tossing their arms as if they was just
wild and next when it was just about the bluest and blackest fst it was as
bright as glory and youd have a little glimpse of treetops aplunging about
away off yonder in the storm hundreds of yards further than you could see
before dark as sin again in a second and now youd hear the thunder let go
with an awful crash and then go rumbling grumbling tumbling down the sky
towards the under side of the world like rolling empty barrels down stairs
where its long stairs and they bounce a good deal you know
»Jim this is nice« I says »I wouldnt want to be nowhere else but here
Pass me along another hunk of fish and some hot cornbread«
»Well you wouldnt a ben here f it hadnt a ben for Jim Youd a ben down
dah in de woods widout any dinner en gittin mos drownded too dat you would
honey Chickens knows when its gwyne to rain en so do de birds chile«
The river went on raising and raising for ten or twelve days till at last
it was over the banks The water was three or four foot deep on the island in
the low places and on the Illinois bottom On that side it was a good many miles
wide but on the Missouri side it was the same old distance across a half a
mile because the Missouri shore was just a wall of high bluffs
Daytimes we paddled all over the island in the canoe It was mighty cool and
shady in the deep woods even if the sun was blazing outside We went winding in
and out amongst the trees and sometimes the vines hung so thick we had to back
away and go some other way Well on every old brokendown tree you could see
rabbits and snakes and such things and when the island had been overflowed a
day or two they got so tame on account of being hungry that you could paddle
right up and put your hand on them if you wanted to but not the snakes and
turtlesthey would slide off in the water The ridge our cavern was in was full
of them We could a had pets enough if wed wanted them
One night we catched a little section of a lumber raft nice pine planks
It was twelve foot wide and about fifteen or sixteen foot long and the top
stood above water six or seven inches a solid level floor We could see
sawlogs go by in the daylight sometimes but we let them go we didnt show
ourselves in daylight
Another night when we was up at the head of the island just before
daylight here comes a frame house down on the west side She was a twostory
and tilted over considerable We paddled out and got aboard clumb in at an
upstairs window But it was too dark to see yet so we made the canoe fast and
set in her to wait for daylight
The light begun to come before we got to the foot of the island Then we
looked in at the window We could make out a bed and a table and two old
chairs and lots of things around about on the floor and there was clothes
hanging against the wall There was something laying on the floor in the far
corner that looked like a man So Jim says
»Hello you«
But it didnt budge So I hollered again and then Jim says
»De man aint asleep hes dead You hold still Ill go en see«
He went and bent down and looked and says
»Its a dead man Yes indeedy naked too Hes ben shot in de back I
reckn hes ben dead two er three days Come in Huck but doan look at his
face its too gashly«
I didnt look at him at all Jim throwed some old rags over him but he
neednt done it I didnt want to see him There was heaps of old greasy cards
scattered around over the floor and old whisky bottles and a couple of masks
made out of black cloth and all over the walls was the ignorantest kind of
words and pictures made with charcoal There was two old dirty calico dresses
and a sunbonnet and some womens underclothes hanging against the wall and
some mens clothing too We put the lot into the canoe it might come good
There was a boys old speckled straw hat on the floor I took that too And
there was a bottle that had had milk in it and it had a rag stopper for a baby
to suck We would a took the bottle but it was broke There was a seedy old
chest and an old hair trunk with the hinges broke They stood open but there
warnt nothing left in them that was any account The way things was scattered
about we reckoned the people left in a hurry and warnt fixed so as to carry
off most of their stuff
We got an old tin lantern and a butcher knife without any handle and a
brannew Barlow knife worth two bits in any store and a lot of tallow candles
and a tin candlestick and a gourd and a tin cup and a ratty old bedquilt off
the bed and a reticule with needles and pins and beeswax and buttons and thread
and all such truck in it and a hatchet and some nails and a fishline as thick
as my little finger with some monstrous hooks on it and a roll of buckskin
and a leather dogcollar and a horseshoe and some vials of medicine that
didnt have no label on them and just as we was leaving I found a tolerable
good currycomb and Jim he found a ratty old fiddlebow and a wooden leg The
straps was broke off of it but barring that it was a good enough leg though
it was too long for me and not long enough for Jim and we couldnt find the
other one though we hunted all around
And so take it all around we made a good haul When we was ready to shove
off we was a quarter of a mile below the island and it was pretty broad day
so I made Jim lay down in the canoe and cover up with the quilt because if he
set up people could tell he was a nigger a good ways off I paddled over to the
Illinois shore and drifted down most a half a mile doing it I crept up the
dead water under the bank and hadnt no accidents and didnt see nobody We got
home all safe
Chapter X
After breakfast I wanted to talk about the dead man and guess out how he come to
be killed but Jim didnt want to He said it would fetch bad luck and besides
he said he might come and hant us he said a man that warnt buried was more
likely to go ahanting around than one that was planted and comfortable That
sounded pretty reasonable so I didnt say no more but I couldnt keep from
studying over it and wishing I knowed who shot the man and what they done it
for
We rummaged the clothes wed got and found eight dollars in silver sewed up
in the lining of an old blanket overcoat Jim said he reckoned the people in
that house stole the coat because if theyd a knowed the money was there they
wouldnt a left it I said I reckoned they killed him too but Jim didnt want
to talk about that I says
»Now you think its bad luck but what did you say when I fetched in the
snakeskin that I found on the top of the ridge day before yesterday You said
it was the worst bad luck in the world to touch a snakeskin with my hands
Well heres your bad luck Weve raked in all this truck and eight dollars
besides I wish we could have some bad luck like this every day Jim«
»Never you mind honey never you mind Dont you git too peart Its
acomin Mind I tell you its acomin«
It did come too It was a Tuesday that we had that talk Well after dinner
Friday we was laying around in the grass at the upper end of the ridge and got
out of tobacco I went to the cavern to get some and found a rattlesnake in
there I killed him and curled him up on the foot of Jims blanket ever so
natural thinking thered be some fun when Jim found him there Well by night I
forgot all about the snake and when Jim flung himself down on the blanket while
I struck a light the snakes mate was there and bit him
He jumped up yelling and the first thing the light showed was the varmint
curled up and ready for another spring I laid him out in a second with a stick
and Jim grabbed paps whisky jug and begun to pour it down
He was barefooted and the snake bit him right on the heel That all comes
of my being such a fool as to not remember that wherever you leave a dead snake
its mate always comes there and curls around it Jim told me to chop off the
snakes head and throw it away and then skin the body and roast a piece of it
I done it and he eat it and said it would help cure him He made me take off
the rattles and tie them around his wrist too He said that that would help
Then I slid out quiet and throwed the snakes clear away amongst the bushes for
I warnt going to let Jim find out it was all my fault not if I could help it
Jim sucked and sucked at the jug and now and then he got out of his head
and pitched around and yelled but every time he come to himself he went to
sucking at the jug again His foot swelled up pretty big and so did his leg
but byandby the drunk begun to come and so I judged he was all right but Id
druther been bit with a snake than paps whisky
Jim was laid up for four days and nights Then the swelling was all gone and
he was around again I made up my mind I wouldnt ever take aholt of a
snakeskin again with my hands now that I see what had come of it Jim said he
reckoned I would believe him next time And he said that handling a snakeskin
was such awful bad luck that maybe we hadnt got to the end of it yet He said
he druther see the new moon over his left shoulder as much as a thousand times
than take up a snakeskin in his hand Well I was getting to feel that way
myself though Ive always reckoned that looking at the new moon over your left
shoulder is one of the carelessest and foolishest things a body can do Old Hank
Bunker done it once and bragged about it and in less than two years he got
drunk and fell off of the shot tower and spread himself out so that he was just
a kind of a layer as you may say and they slid him edgeways between two barn
doors for a coffin and buried him so so they say but I didnt see it Pap
told me But anyway it all come of looking at the moon that way like a fool
Well the days went along and the river went down between its banks again
and about the first thing we done was to bait one of the big hooks with a
skinned rabbit and set it and catch a catfish that was as big as a man being
six foot two inches long and weighed over two hundred pounds We couldnt
handle him of course he would a flung us into Illinois We just set there and
watched him rip and tear around till he drownded We found a brass button in his
stomach and a round ball and lots of rubbage We split the ball open with the
hatchet and there was a spool in it Jim said hed had it there a long time to
coat it over so and make a ball of it It was as big a fish as was ever catched
in the Mississippi I reckon Jim said he hadnt ever seen a bigger one He
would a been worth a good deal over at the village They peddle out such a fish
as that by the pound in the market house there everybody buys some of him his
meats as white as snow and makes a good fry
Next morning I said it was getting slow and dull and I wanted to get a
stirring up some way I said I reckoned I would slip over the river and find
out what was going on Jim liked that notion but he said I must go in the dark
and look sharp Then he studied it over and said couldnt I put on some of them
old things and dress up like a girl That was a good notion too So we
shortened up one of the calico gowns and I turned up my trowserlegs to my knees
and got into it Jim hitched it behind with the hooks and it was a fair fit I
put on the sunbonnet and tied it under my chin and then for a body to look in
and see my face was like looking down a joint of stovepipe Jim said nobody
would know me even in the daytime hardly I practiced around all day to get
the hang of things and byandby I could do pretty well in them only Jim said
I didnt walk like a girl and he said I must quit pulling up my gown to get at
my britches pocket I took notice and done better
I started up the Illinois shore in the canoe just after dark
I started across to the town from a little below the ferry landing and the
drift of the current fetched me in at the bottom of the town I tied up and
started along the bank There was a light burning in a little shanty that hadnt
been lived in for a long time and I wondered who had took up quarters there I
slipped up and peeped in at the window There was a woman about forty year old
in there knitting by a candle that was on a pine table I didnt know her face
she was a stranger for you couldnt start a face in that town that I didnt
know Now this was lucky because I was weakening I was getting afraid I had
come people might know my voice and find me out But if this woman had been in
such a little town two days she could tell me all I wanted to know so I knocked
at the door and made up my mind I wouldnt forget I was a girl
Chapter XI
»Come in« says the woman and I did She says
»Take a cheer«
I done it She looked me all over with her little shiny eyes and says
»What might your name be«
»Sarah Williams«
»Where bouts do you live In this neighborhood«
»Nom In Hookerville seven mile below Ive walked all the way and Im all
tired out«
»Hungry too I reckon Ill find you something«
»Nom I aint hungry I was so hungry I had to stop two mile below here at
a farm so I aint hungry no more Its what makes me so late My mothers down
sick and out of money and everything and I come to tell my uncle Abner Moore
He lives at the upper end of the town she says I haint ever been here before
Do you know him«
»No but I dont know everybody yet I havent lived here quite two weeks
Its a considerable ways to the upper end of the town You better stay here all
night Take off your bonnet«
»No« I says »Ill rest a while I reckon and go on I aint afeard of the
dark«
She said she wouldnt let me go by myself but her husband would be in
byandby maybe in a hour and a half and shed send him along with me Then
she got to talking about her husband and about her relations up the river and
her relations down the river and about how much better off they used to was
and how they didnt know but theyd made a mistake coming to our town instead
of letting well alone and so on and so on till I was afeard I had made a
mistake coming to her to find out what was going on in the town but byandby
she dropped onto pap and the murder and then I was pretty willing to let her
clatter right along She told about me and Tom Sawyer finding the six thousand
dollars only she got it ten and all about pap and what a hard lot he was and
what a hard lot I was and at last she got down to where I was murdered I says
»Who done it Weve heard considerable about these goings on down in
Hookerville but we dont know who twas that killed Huck Finn«
»Well I reckon theres a right smart chance of people here thatd like to
know who killed him Some thinks old Finn done it himself«
»No is that so«
»Most everybody thought it at first Hell never know how nigh he come to
getting lynched But before night they changed around and judged it was done by
a runaway nigger named Jim«
»Why he «
I stopped I reckoned I better keep still She run on and never noticed I
had put in at all
»The nigger run off the very night Huck Finn was killed So theres a reward
out for him three hundred dollars And theres a reward out for old Finn too
two hundred dollars You see he come to town the morning after the murder and
told about it and was out with em on the ferryboat hunt and right away after
he up and left Before night they wanted to lynch him but he was gone you see
Well next day they found out the nigger was gone they found out he hadnt ben
seen sence ten oclock the night the murder was done So then they put it on
him you see and while they was full of it next day back comes old Finn and
went boohooing to Judge Thatcher to get money to hunt for the nigger all over
Illinois with The judge give him some and that evening he got drunk and was
around till after midnight with a couple of mighty hard looking strangers and
then went off with them Well he haint come back sence and they aint looking
for him back till this thing blows over a little for people thinks now that he
killed his boy and fixed things so folks would think robbers done it and then
hed get Hucks money without having to bother a long time with a lawsuit
People do say he warnt any too good to do it Oh hes sly I reckon If he
dont come back for a year hell be all right You cant prove anything on him
you know everything will be quieted down then and hell walk into Hucks money
as easy as nothing«
»Yes I reckon so m I dont see nothing in the way of it Has everybody
quit thinking the nigger done it«
»Oh no not everybody A good many thinks he done it But theyll get the
nigger pretty soon now and maybe they can scare it out of him«
»Why are they after him yet«
»Well youre innocent aint you Does three hundred dollars lay round
every day for people to pick up Some folks thinks the nigger aint far from
here Im one of them but I haint talked it around A few days ago I was
talking with an old couple that lives next door in the log shanty and they
happened to say hardly anybody ever goes to that island over yonder that they
call Jacksons Island Dont anybody live there says I No nobody says they
I didnt say any more but I done some thinking I was pretty near certain Id
seen smoke over there about the head of the island a day or two before that
so I says to myself like as not that niggers hiding over there anyway says
I its worth the trouble to give the place a hunt I haint seen any smoke
sence so I reckon maybe hes gone if it was him but husbands going over to
see him and another man He was gone up the river but he got back today and
I told him as soon as he got here two hours ago«
I had got so uneasy I couldnt set still I had to do something with my
hands so I took up a needle off of the table and went to threading it My hands
shook and I was making a bad job of it When the woman stopped talking I
looked up and she was looking at me pretty curious and smiling a little I put
down the needle and thread and let on to be interested and I was too and
says
»Three hundred dollars is a power of money I wish my mother could get it
Is your husband going over there tonight«
»Oh yes He went up town with the man I was telling you of to get a boat
and see if they could borrow another gun Theyll go over after midnight«
»Couldnt they see better if they was to wait till daytime«
»Yes And couldnt the nigger see better too After midnight hell likely
be asleep and they can slip around through the woods and hunt up his camp fire
all the better for the dark if hes got one«
»I didnt think of that«
The woman kept looking at me pretty curious and I didnt feel a bit
comfortable Pretty soon she says
»What did you say your name was honey«
»M Mary Williams«
Somehow it didnt seem to me that I said it was Mary before so I didnt
look up seemed to me I said it was Sarah so I felt sort of cornered and was
afeared maybe I was looking it too I wished the woman would say something
more the longer she set still the uneasier I was But now she says
»Honey I thought you said it was Sarah when you first come in«
»Oh yesm I did Sarah Mary Williams Sarahs my first name Some calls me
Sarah some calls me Mary«
»Oh thats the way of it«
»Yesm«
I was feeling better then but I wished I was out of there anyway I
couldnt look up yet
Well the woman fell to talking about how hard times was and how poor they
had to live and how the rats was as free as if they owned the place and so
forth and so on and then I got easy again She was right about the rats Youd
see one stick his nose out of a hole in the corner every little while She said
she had to have things handy to throw at them when she was alone or they
wouldnt give her no peace She showed me a bar of lead twisted up into a knot
and said she was a good shot with it generly but shed wrenched her arm a day
or two ago and didnt know whether she could throw true now But she watched
for a chance and directly she banged away at a rat but she missed him wide
and said »Ouch« it hurt her arm so Then she told me to try for the next one I
wanted to be getting away before the old man got back but of course I didnt
let on I got the thing and the first rat that showed his nose I let drive and
if hed a stayed where he was hed a been a tolerable sick rat She said that
that was firstrate and she reckoned I would hive the next one She went and
got the lump of lead and fetched it back and brought along a hank of yarn which
she wanted me to help her with I held up my two hands and she put the hank over
them and went on talking about her and her husbands matters But she broke off
to say
»Keep your eye on the rats You better have the lead in your lap handy«
So she dropped the lump into my lap just at that moment and I clapped my
legs together on it and she went on talking But only about a minute Then she
took off the hank and looked me straight in the face but very pleasant and
says
»Come now whats your real name«
»Whwhat mum«
»Whats your real name Is it Bill or Tom or Bob or what is it«
I reckon I shook like a leaf and I didnt know hardly what to do But I
says
»Please to dont poke fun at a poor girl like me mum If Im in the way
here Ill «
»No you wont Set down and stay where you are I aint going to hurt you
and I aint going to tell on you nuther You just tell me your secret and
trust me Ill keep it and whats more Ill help you Soll my old man if you
want him to You see youre a runaway prentice thats all It aint
anything There aint any harm in it Youve been treated bad and you made up
your mind to cut Bless you child I wouldnt tell on you Tell me all about
it now thats a good boy«
So I said it wouldnt be no use to try to play it any longer and I would
just make a clean breast and tell her everything but she mustnt go back on her
promise Then I told her my father and mother was dead and the law had bound me
out to a mean old farmer in the country thirty mile back from the river and he
treated me so bad I couldnt stand it no longer he went away to be gone a
couple of days and so I took my chance and stole some of his daughters old
clothes and cleared out and I had been three nights coming the thirty miles I
traveled nights and hid daytimes and slept and the bag of bread and meat I
carried from home lasted me all the way and I had a plenty I said I believed my
uncle Abner Moore would take care of me and so that was why I struck out for
this town of Goshen
»Goshen child This aint Goshen This is St Petersburg Goshens ten mile
further up the river Who told you this was Goshen«
»Why a man I met at daybreak this morning just as I was going to turn
into the woods for my regular sleep He told me when the roads forked I must
take the right hand and five mile would fetch me to Goshen«
»He was drunk I reckon He told you just exactly wrong«
»Well he did act like he was drunk but it aint no matter now I got to be
moving along Ill fetch Goshen before daylight«
»Hold on a minute Ill put you up a snack to eat You might want it«
So she put me up a snack and says
»Say when a cows laying down which end of her gets up first Answer up
prompt now dont stop to study over it Which end gets up first«
»The hind end mum«
»Well then a horse«
»The forrard end mum«
»Which side of a tree does the most moss grow on«
»North side«
»If fifteen cows is browsing on a hillside how many of them eats with their
heads pointed the same direction«
»The whole fifteen mum«
»Well I reckon you have lived in the country I thought maybe you was
trying to hocus me again Whats your real name now«
»George Peters mum«
»Well try to remember it George Dont forget and tell me its Elexander
before you go and then get out by saying its GeorgeElexander when I catch
you And dont go about women in that old calico You do a girl tolerable poor
but you might fool men maybe Bless you child when you set out to thread a
needle dont hold the thread still and fetch the needle up to it hold the
needle still and poke the thread at it thats the way a woman most always
does but a man always does tother way And when you throw at a rat or
anything hitch yourself up a tiptoe and fetch your hand up over your head as
awkard as you can and miss your rat about six or seven foot Throw stiffarmed
from the shoulder like there was a pivot there for it to turn on like a girl
not from the wrist and elbow with your arm out to one side like a boy And
mind you when a girl tries to catch anything in her lap she throws her knees
apart she dont clap them together the way you did when you catched the lump
of lead Why I spotted you for a boy when you was threading the needle and I
contrived the other things just to make certain Now trot along to your uncle
Sarah Mary Williams George Elexander Peters and if you get into trouble you
send word to Mrs Judith Loftus which is me and Ill do what I can to get you
out of it Keep the river road all the way and next time you tramp take shoes
and socks with you The river roads a rocky one and your feet ll be in a
condition when you get to Goshen I reckon«
I went up the bank about fifty yards and then I doubled on my tracks and
slipped back to where my canoe was a good piece below the house I jumped in
and was off in a hurry I went up stream far enough to make the head of the
island and then started across I took off the sunbonnet for I didnt want no
blinders on then When I was about the middle I hear the clock begin to
strike so I stops and listens the sound come faint over the water but clear
eleven When I struck the head of the island I never waited to blow though I
was most winded but I shoved right into the timber where my old camp used to
be and started a good fire there on a highanddry spot
Then I jumped in the canoe and dug out for our place a mile and a half
below as hard as I could go I landed and slopped through the timber and up
the ridge and into the cavern There Jim laid sound asleep on the ground I
roused him out and says
»Git up and hump yourself Jim There aint a minute to lose Theyre after
us«
Jim never asked no questions he never said a word but the way he worked
for the next half an hour showed about how he was scared By that time
everything we had in the world was on our raft and she was ready to be shoved
out from the willow cove where she was hid We put out the camp fire at the
cavern the first thing and didnt show a candle outside after that
I took the canoe out from shore a little piece and took a look but if there
was a boat around I couldnt see it for stars and shadows aint good to see by
Then we got out the raft and slipped along down in the shade past the foot of
the island dead still never saying a word
Chapter XII
It must a been close onto one oclock when we got below the island at last and
the raft did seem to go mighty slow If a boat was to come along we was going
to take to the canoe and break for the Illinois shore and it was well a boat
didnt come for we hadnt ever thought to put the gun into the canoe or a
fishingline or anything to eat We was in ruther too much of a sweat to think
of so many things It warnt good judgment to put everything on the raft
If the men went to the island I just expect they found the camp fire I
built and watched it all night for Jim to come Anyways they stayed away from
us and if my building the fire never fooled them it warnt no fault of mine I
played it as lowdown on them as I could
When the first streak of day begun to show we tied up to a towhead in a
big bend on the Illinois side and hacked off cottonwood branches with the
hatchet and covered up the raft with them so she looked like there had been a
cavein in the bank there A towhead is a sandbar that has cottonwoods on it
as thick as harrowteeth
We had mountains on the Missouri shore and heavy timber on the Illinois
side and the channel was down the Missouri shore at that place so we warnt
afraid of anybody running across us We laid there all day and watched the rafts
and steamboats spin down the Missouri shore and upbound steamboats fight the
big river in the middle I told Jim all about the time I had jabbering with that
woman and Jim said she was a smart one and if she was to start after us
herself she wouldnt set down and watch a camp fire no sir shed fetch a
dog Well then I said why couldnt she tell her husband to fetch a dog Jim
said he bet she did think of it by the time the men was ready to start and he
believed they must a gone up town to get a dog and so they lost all that time
or else we wouldnt be here on a towhead sixteen or seventeen mile below the
village no indeedy we would be in that same old town again So I said I
didnt care what was the reason they didnt get us as long as they didnt
When it was beginning to come on dark we poked our heads out of the
cottonwood thicket and looked up and down and across nothing in sight so Jim
took up some of the top planks of the raft and built a snug wigwam to get under
in blazing weather and rainy and to keep the things dry Jim made a floor for
the wigwam and raised it a foot or more above the level of the raft so now the
blankets and all the traps was out of the reach of steamboat waves Right in the
middle of the wigwam we made a layer of dirt about five or six inches deep with
a frame around it for to hold it to its place this was to build a fire on in
sloppy weather or chilly the wigwam would keep it from being seen We made an
extra steering oar too because one of the others might get broke on a snag or
something We fixed up a short forked stick to hang the old lantern on because
we must always light the lantern whenever we see a steamboat coming down stream
to keep from getting run over but we wouldnt have to light it for upstream
boats unless we see we was in what they call a crossing for the river was
pretty high yet very low banks being still a little under water so upbound
boats didnt always run the channel but hunted easy water
This second night we run between seven and eight hours with a current that
was making over four mile an hour We catched fish and talked and we took a
swim now and then to keep off sleepiness It was kind of solemn drifting down
the big still river laying on our backs looking up at the stars and we didnt
ever feel like talking loud and it warnt often that we laughed only a little
kind of a low chuckle We had mighty good weather as a general thing and
nothing ever happened to us at all that night nor the next nor the next
Every night we passed towns some of them away up on black hillsides
nothing but just a shiny bed of lights not a house could you see The fifth
night we passed St Louis and it was like the whole world lit up In St
Petersburg they used to say there was twenty or thirty thousand people in St
Louis but I never believed it till I see that wonderful spread of lights at two
oclock that still night There warnt a sound there everybody was asleep
Every night now I used to slip ashore towards ten oclock at some little
village and buy ten or fifteen cents worth of meal or bacon or other stuff to
eat and sometimes I lifted a chicken that warnt roosting comfortable and took
him along Pap always said take a chicken when you get a chance because if you
dont want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does and a good deed
aint ever forgot I never see pap when he didnt want the chicken himself but
that is what he used to say anyway
Mornings before daylight I slipped into corn fields and borrowed a
watermelon or a mushmelon or a punkin or some new corn or things of that
kind Pap always said it warnt no harm to borrow things if you was meaning to
pay them back sometime but the widow said it warnt anything but a soft name
for stealing and no decent body would do it Jim said he reckoned the widow was
partly right and pap was partly right so the best way would be for us to pick
out two or three things from the list and say we wouldnt borrow them any more
then he reckoned it wouldnt be no harm to borrow the others So we talked it
over all one night drifting along down the river trying to make up our minds
whether to drop the watermelons or the cantelopes or the mushmelons or what
But towards daylight we got it all settled satisfactory and concluded to drop
crabapples and psimmons We warnt feeling just right before that but it was
all comfortable now I was glad the way it come out too because crabapples
aint ever good and the psimmons wouldnt be ripe for two or three months yet
We shot a waterfowl now and then that got up too early in the morning or
didnt go to bed early enough in the evening Take it all around we lived
pretty high
The fifth night below St Louis we had a big storm after midnight with a
power of thunder and lightning and the rain poured down in a solid sheet We
stayed in the wigwam and let the raft take care of itself. When the lightning
glared out we could see a big straight river ahead and high rocky bluffs on
both sides Byandby says I »Hello Jim looky yonder« It was a steamboat
that had killed herself on a rock We was drifting straight down for her The
lightning showed her very distinct She was leaning over with part of her upper
deck above water and you could see every little chimblyguy clean and clear
and a chair by the big bell with an old slouch hat hanging on the back of it
when the flashes come
Well it being away in the night and stormy and all so mysteriouslike I
felt just the way any other boy would a felt when I see that wreck laying there
so mournful and lonesome in the middle of the river I wanted to get aboard of
her and slink around a little and see what there was there So I says
»Les land on her Jim«
But Jim was dead against it at first He says
»I doan want to go fooln long er no wrack Wes doin blame well en we
better let blame well alone as de good book says Like as not deys a watchman
on dat wrack«
»Watchman your grandmother« I says »there aint nothing to watch but the
texas and the pilothouse and do you reckon anybodys going to resk his life
for a texas and a pilothouse such a night as this when its likely to break up
and wash off down the river any minute« Jim couldnt say nothing to that so he
didnt try »And besides« I says »we might borrow something worth having out
of the captains stateroom Seegars I bet you and cost five cents apiece
solid cash Steamboat captains is always rich and get sixty dollars a month
and they dont care a cent what a thing costs you know long as they want it
Stick a candle in your pocket I cant rest Jim till we give her a rummaging
Do you reckon Tom Sawyer would ever go by this thing Not for pie he wouldnt
Hed call it an adventure thats what hed call it and hed land on that
wreck if it was his last act And wouldnt he throw style into it wouldnt he
spread himself nor nothing Why youd think it was Christopher Clumbus
discovering KingdomCome I wish Tom Sawyer was here«
Jim he grumbled a little but give in He said we mustnt talk any more than
we could help and then talk mighty low The lightning showed us the wreck
again just in time and we fetched the starboard derrick and made fast there
The deck was high out here We went sneaking down the slope of it to
labboard in the dark towards the texas feeling our way slow with our feet
and spreading our hands out to fend off the guys for it was so dark we couldnt
see no sign of them Pretty soon we struck the forward end of the skylight and
clumb onto it and the next step fetched us in front of the captains door
which was open and by Jimminy away down through the texashall we see a light
and all in the same second we seem to hear low voices in yonder
Jim whispered and said he was feeling powerful sick and told me to come
along I says all right and was going to start for the raft but just then I
heard a voice wail out and say
»Oh please dont boys I swear I wont ever tell«
Another voice said pretty loud
»Its a lie Jim Turner Youve acted this way before You always want
moren your share of the truck and youve always got it too because youve
swore t if you didnt youd tell But this time youve said it jest one time
too many Youre the meanest treacherousest hound in this country«
By this time Jim was gone for the raft I was just abiling with curiosity
and I says to myself Tom Sawyer wouldnt back out now and so I wont either
Im agoing to see whats going on here So I dropped on my hands and knees in
the little passage and crept aft in the dark till there warnt but about one
stateroom betwixt me and the crosshall of the texas Then in there I see a man
stretched on the floor and tied hand and foot and two men standing over him
and one of them had a dim lantern in his hand and the other one had a pistol
This one kept pointing the pistol at the mans head on the floor and saying
»Id like to And I orter too a mean skunk«
The man on the floor would shrivel up and say »Oh please dont Bill I
haint ever goin to tell«
And every time he said that the man with the lantern would laugh and say
»Deed you aint You never said no truer thing n that you bet you« And
once he said »Hear him beg and yit if we hadnt got the best of him and tied
him hed a killed us both And what for Jist for nothn Jist because we stood
on our rights thats what for But I lay you aint agoin to threaten nobody
any more Jim Turner Put up that pistol Bill«
Bill says
»I dont want to Jake Packard Im for killin him and didnt he kill old
Hatfield jist the same way and dont he deserve it«
»But I dont want him killed and Ive got my reasons for it«
»Bless yo heart for them words Jake Packard Ill never forgit you longs
I live« says the man on the floor sort of blubbering
Packard didnt take no notice of that but hung up his lantern on a nail
and started towards where I was there in the dark and motioned Bill to come I
crawfished as fast as I could about two yards but the boat slanted so that I
couldnt make very good time so to keep from getting run over and catched I
crawled into a stateroom on the upper side The man come apawing along in the
dark and when Packard got to my stateroom he says
»Here come in here«
And in he come and Bill after him But before they got in I was up in the
upper berth cornered and sorry I come Then they stood there with their hands
on the ledge of the berth and talked I couldnt see them but I could tell
where they was by the whisky theyd been having I was glad I didnt drink
whisky but it wouldnt made much difference anyway because most of the time
they couldnt a treed me because I didnt breathe I was too scared And
besides a body couldnt breathe and hear such talk They talked low and
earnest Bill wanted to kill Turner He says
»Hes said hell tell and he will If we was to give both our shares to him
now it wouldnt make no difference after the row and the way weve served him
Shores youre born hell turn States evidence now you hear me Im for
putting him out of his troubles«
»Som I« says Packard very quiet
»Blame it Id sorter begun to think you wasnt Well then thats all
right Les go and do it«
»Hold on a minute I haint had my say yit You listen to me Shootings
good but theres quieter ways if the things got to be done But what I say is
this it aint good sense to go courtn around after a halter if you can git at
what youre up to in some way thats jist as good and at the same time dont
bring you into no resks Aint that so«
»You bet it is But how you goin to manage it this time«
»Well my idea is this well rustle around and gether up whatever pickins
weve overlooked in the staterooms and shove for shore and hide the truck Then
well wait Now I say it aint agoin to be more n two hours befo this wrack
breaks up and washes off down the river See Hell be drownded and wont have
nobody to blame for it but his own self I reckon thats a considerble sight
bettern killin of him Im unfavorable to killin a man as long as you can git
around it it aint good sense it aint good morals Aint I right«
»Yes I reckn you are But spose she dont break up and wash off«
»Well we can wait the two hours anyway and see cant we«
»All right then come along«
So they started and I lit out all in a cold sweat and scrambled forward
It was dark as pitch there but I said in a kind of a coarse whisper »Jim« and
he answered up right at my elbow with a sort of a moan and I says
»Quick Jim it aint no time for fooling around and moaning theres a gang
of murderers in yonder and if we dont hunt up their boat and set her drifting
down the river so these fellows cant get away from the wreck theres one of
em going to be in a bad fix But if we find their boat we can put all of em in
a bad fix for the Sheriff ll get em Quick hurry Ill hunt the labboard
side you hunt the stabboard You start at the raft and «
»Oh my lordy lordy Raf Dey ain no raf no mo she done broke loose en
gone en here we is«
Chapter XIII
Well I catched my breath and most fainted Shut up on a wreck with such a gang
as that But it warnt no time to be sentimentering Wed got to find that boat
now had to have it for ourselves So we went aquaking and shaking down the
stabboard side and slow work it was too seemed a week before we got to the
stern No sign of a boat Jim said he didnt believe he could go any further
so scared he hadnt hardly any strength left he said But I said come on if we
get left on this wreck we are in a fix sure So on we prowled again We
struck for the stern of the texas and found it and then scrabbled along
forwards on the skylight hanging on from shutter to shutter for the edge of
the skylight was in the water When we got pretty close to the crosshall door
there was the skiff sure enough I could just barely see her I felt ever so
thankful In another second I would a been aboard of her but just then the door
opened One of the men stuck his head out only about a couple of foot from me
and I thought I was gone but he jerked it in again and says
»Heave that blame lantern out o sight Bill«
He flung a bag of something into the boat and then got in himself and set
down It was Packard Then Bill he come out and got in Packard says in a low
voice
»All ready shove off«
I couldnt hardly hang onto the shutters I was so weak But Bill says
»Hold on d you go through him«
»No Didnt you«
»No So hes got his share o the cash yet«
»Well then come along no use to take truck and leave money«
»Say wont he suspicion what were up to«
»Maybe he wont But we got to have it anyway Come along«
So they got out and went in
The door slammed to because it was on the careened side and in a half
second I was in the boat and Jim come a tumbling after me I out with my knife
and cut the rope and away we went
We didnt touch an oar and we didn speak nor whisper nor hardly even
breathe We went gliding swift along dead silent past the tip of the
paddlebox and past the stern then in a second or two more we was a hundred
yards below the wreck and the darkness soaked her up every last sign of her
and we was safe and knowed it
When we was three or four hundred yards down stream we see the lantern show
like a little spark at the texas door for a second and we knowed by that that
the rascals had missed their boat and was beginning to understand that they was
in just as much trouble now as Jim Turner was
Then Jim manned the oars and we took out after our raft Now was the first
time that I begun to worry about the men I reckon I hadnt had time to before
I begun to think how dreadful it was even for murderers to be in such a fix I
says to myself there aint no telling but I might come to be a murderer myself
yet and then how would I like it So says I to Jim
»The first light we see well land a hundred yards below it or above it in
a place where its a good hidingplace for you and the skiff and then Ill go
and fix up some kind of a yarn and get somebody to go for that gang and get
them out of their scrape so they can be hung when their time comes«
But that idea was a failure for pretty soon it begun to storm again and
this time worse than ever The rain poured down and never a light showed
everybody in bed I reckon We boomed along down the river watching for lights
and watching for our raft After a long time the rain let up but the clouds
staid and the lightning kept whimpering and byandby a flash showed us a
black thing ahead floating and we made for it
It was the raft and mighty glad was we to get aboard of it again We seen a
light now away down to the right on shore So I said I would go for it The
skiff was half full of plunder which that gang had stole there on the wreck We
hustled it onto the raft in a pile and I told Jim to float along down and show
a light when he judged he had gone about two mile and keep it burning till I
come then I manned my oars and shoved for the light As I got down towards it
three or four more showed up on a hillside It was a village I closed in
above the shorelight and laid on my oars and floated As I went by I see it
was a lantern hanging on the jackstaff of a doublehull ferryboat I skimmed
around for the watchman awondering whereabouts he slept and byandby I found
him roosting on the bitts forward with his head down between his knees I give
his shoulder two or three little shoves and begun to cry
He stirred up in a kind of a startlish way when he see it was only me he
took a good gap and stretch and then he says
»Hello whats up Dont cry bub Whats the trouble«
I says
»Pap and mam and sis and «
Then I broke down He says
»Oh dang it now dont take on so we all has to have our troubles and
thisn ll come out all right Whats the matter with em«
»Theyre theyre are you the watchman of the boat«
»Yes« he says kind of prettywellsatisfied like »Im the captain and the
owner and the mate and the pilot and watchman and head deckhand and
sometimes Im the freight and passengers I aint as rich as old Jim Hornback
and I cant be so blame generous and good to Tom Dick and Harry as what he is
and slam around money the way he does but Ive told him a many a time t I
wouldnt trade places with him for says I a sailors lifes the life for me
and Im derned if Id live two mile out o town where there aint nothing ever
goin on not for all his spondulicks and as much more on top of it Says I «
I broke in and says
»Theyre in an awful peck of trouble and «
»Who is«
»Why pap and mam and sis and Miss Hooker and if youd take your
ferryboat and go up there «
»Up where Where are they«
»On the wreck«
»What wreck«
»Why there aint but one«
»What you dont mean the Walter Scott«
»Yes«
»Good land what are they doin there for gracious sakes«
»Well they didnt go there apurpose«
»I bet they didnt Why great goodness there aint no chance for em if
they dont git off mighty quick Why how in the nation did they ever git into
such a scrape«
»Easy enough Miss Hooker was avisiting up there to the town «
»Yes Booths Landing go on«
»She was avisiting there at Booths Landing and just in the edge of the
evening she started over with her nigger woman in the horseferry to stay all
night at her friends house Miss Whatyoumaycallher I disremember her name
and they lost their steeringoar and swung around and went afloating down
sternfirst about two mile and saddlebaggsed on the wreck and the ferry man
and the nigger woman and the horses was all lost but Miss Hooker she made a
grab and got aboard the wreck Well about an hour after dark we come along
down in our tradingscow and it was so dark we didnt notice the wreck till we
was right on it and so we saddlebaggsed but all of us was saved but Bill
Whipple and oh he was the best cretur I most wisht it had been me I do«
»My George Its the beatenest thing I ever struck And then what did you
all do«
»Well we hollered and took on but its so wide there we couldnt make
nobody hear So pap said somebody got to get ashore and get help somehow I was
the only one that could swim so I made a dash for it and Miss Hooker she said
if I didnt strike help sooner come here and hunt up her uncle and hed fix
the thing I made the land about a mile below and been fooling along ever
since trying to get people to do something but they said What in such a
night and such a current there aint no sense in it go for the steamferry
Now if youll go and «
»By Jackson Id like to and blame it I dont know but I will but who in
the dingnations agoin to pay for it Do you reckon your pap «
»Why thats all right Miss Hooker she told me particular that her uncle
Hornback «
»Great guns is he her uncle Looky here you break for that light over
yonderway and turn out west when you git there and about a quarter of a mile
out youll come to the tavern tell em to dart you out to Jim Hornbacks and
hell foot the bill And dont you fool around any because hell want to know
the news Tell him Ill have his niece all safe before he can get to town Hump
yourself now Im agoing up around the corner here to roust out my engineer«
I struck for the light but as soon as he turned the corner I went back and
got into my skiff and bailed her out and then pulled up shore in the easy water
about six hundred yards and tucked myself in among some woodboats for I
couldnt rest easy till I could see the ferryboat start But take it all
around I was feeling ruther comfortable on accounts of taking all this trouble
for that gang for not many would a done it I wished the widow knowed about it
I judged she would be proud of me for helping these rapscallions because
rapscallions and dead beats is the kind the widow and good people takes the most
interest in
Well before long here comes the wreck dim and dusky sliding along down
A kind of cold shiver went through me and then I struck out for her She was
very deep and I see in a minute there warnt much chance for anybody being
alive in her I pulled all around her and hollered a little but there wasnt
any answer all dead still I felt a little bit heavyhearted about the gang
but not much for I reckoned if they could stand it I could
Then here comes the ferryboat so I shoved for the middle of the river on a
long downstream slant and when I judged I was out of eyereach I laid on my
oars and looked back and see her go and smell around the wreck for Miss
Hookers remainders because the captain would know her uncle Hornback would
want them and then pretty soon the ferryboat give it up and went for shore
and I laid into my work and went abooming down the river
It did seem a powerful long time before Jims light showed up and when it
did show it looked like it was a thousand mile off By the time I got there the
sky was beginning to get a little gray in the east so we struck for an island
and hid the raft and sunk the skiff and turned in and slept like dead people
Chapter XIV
Byandby when we got up we turned over the truck the gang had stole off of
the wreck and found boots and blankets and clothes and all sorts of other
things and a lot of books and a spyglass and three boxes of seegars We
hadnt ever been this rich before in neither of our lives The seegars was
prime We laid off all the afternoon in the woods talking and me reading the
books and having a general good time I told Jim all about what happened inside
the wreck and at the ferryboat and I said these kinds of things was
adventures but he said he didnt want no more adventures He said that when I
went in the texas and he crawled back to get on the raft and found her gone he
nearly died because he judged it was all up with him anyway it could be fixed
for if he didnt get saved he would get drownded and if he did get saved
whoever saved him would send him back home so as to get the reward and then
Miss Watson would sell him South sure Well he was right he was most always
right he had an uncommon level head for a nigger
I read considerable to Jim about kings and dukes and earls and such and
how gaudy they dressed and how much style they put on and called each other
your majesty and your grace and your lordship and so on stead of mister
and Jims eyes bugged out and he was interested He says
»I didn know dey was so many un um I haint hearn bout none un um
skasely but ole King Sollermun onless you counts dem kings dats in a pack er
kyards How much do a king git«
»Get« I says »why they get a thousand dollars a month if they want it
they can have just as much as they want everything belongs to them«
»Ain dat gay En what dey got to do Huck«
»They dont do nothing Why how you talk They just set around«
»No is dat so«
»Of course it is They just set around Except maybe when there s a war
then they go to the war But other times they just lazy around or go hawking
just hawking and sp Sh d you hear a noise«
We skipped out and looked but it warnt nothing but the flutter of a
steamboats wheel away down coming around the point so we come back
»Yes« says I »and other times when things is dull they fuss with the
parlyment and if everybody dont go just so he whacks their heads off But
mostly they hang round the harem«
»Roun de which«
»Harem«
»Whats de harem«
»The place where he keep his wives Dont you know about the harem Solomon
had one he had about a million wives«
»Why yes dats so I Id done forgot it A harems a bodnhouse I
reckn Mos likely dey has rackety times in de nussery En I reckn de wives
quarrels considable en dat crease de racket Yit dey say Sollermun de wises
man dat ever live I doan take no stock in dat Bekase why would a wise man
want to live in de mids er sich a blimblammin all de time No deed he
wouldnt A wise man ud take en buil a bilerfactry en den he could shet down
de bilerfactry when he want to res«
»Well but he was the wisest man anyway because the widow she told me so
her own self«
»I doan kyer what de widder say he warnt no wise man nuther He had some
er de dadfetchedes ways I ever see Does you know bout dat chile dat he uz
gwyne to chop in two«
»Yes the widow told me all about it«
»Well den Warn dat de beatenes notion in de worl You jes take en look
at it a minute Dahs de stump dah dats one er de women heahs you dats
de yuther one Is Sollermun en dishyer dollar bills de chile Bofe un you
claims it What does I do Does I shin aroun mongs de neighbors en fine out
which un you de bill do blong to en han it over to de right one all safe en
soun de way dat anybody dat had any gumption would No I take en whack de
bill in two en give half un it to you en de yuther half to de yuther woman
Dats de way Sollermun was gwyne to do wid de chile Now I want to ask you
whats de use er dat half a bill cant buy nothn wid it En what use is a
half a chile I wouldn give a dern for a million un um«
»But hang it Jim youve clean missed the point blame it youve missed
it a thousand mile«
»Who Me Go long Doan talk to me bout yo pints I reckn I knows sense
when I sees it en dey ain no sense in sich doins as dat De spute warnt
bout a half a chile de spute was bout a whole chile en de man dat think he
kin settle a spute bout a whole child wid a half a chile doan know enough to
come in outn de rain Doan talk to me bout Sollermun Huck I knows him by de
back«
»But I tell you you dont get the point«
»Blame de pint I reckn I knows what I knows En mine you de real pint is
down furder its down deeper It lays in de way Sollermun was raised You take
a man dats got ony one er two chillen is dat man gwyne to be waseful o
chillen No he aint he cant ford it He know how to value em But you take
a man dats got bout five million chillen runnin roun de house en its
diffunt He as soon chop a chile in two as a cat Deys plenty mo A chile er
two mo er less warnt no consekens to Sollermun dad fetch him«
I never see such a nigger If he got a notion in his head once there warnt
no getting it out again He was the most down on Solomon of any nigger I ever
see So I went to talking about other kings and let Solomon slide I told about
Louis Sixteenth that got his head cut off in France long time ago and about his
little boy the dolphin that would a been a king but they took and shut him up
in jail and some say he died there
»Po little chap«
»But some says he got out and got away and come to America«
»Dats good But hell be pooty lonesome dey ain no kings here is dey
Huck«
»No«
»Den he caint git no situation What he gwyne to do«
»Well I dont know Some of them gets on the police and some of them
learns people how to talk French«
»Why Huck doan de French people talk de same way we does«
»No Jim you couldnt understand a word they said not a single word«
»Well now I be dingbusted How do dat come«
»I dont know but its so I got some of their jabber out of a book Spose
a man was to come to you and say Pollyvoofranzy what would you think«
»I wouldnt think nuffn Id take en bust him over de head Dat is if he
warnt white I wouldnt low no nigger to call me dat«
»Shucks it aint calling you anything Its only saying do you know how to
talk French«
»Well den why couldnt he say it«
»Why he is asaying it Thats a Frenchmans way of saying it«
»Well its a blame ridicklous way en I doan want to hear no mo bout
it Dey ain no sense in it«
»Looky here Jim does a cat talk like we do«
»No a cat dont«
»Well does a cow«
»No a cow dont nuther«
»Does a cat talk like a cow or a cow talk like a cat«
»No dey dont«
»Its natural and right for em to talk different from each other aint
it«
»Course«
»And aint it natural and right for a cat and a cow to talk different from
us«
»Why mos sholy it is«
»Well then why aint it natural and right for a Frenchman to talk
different from us You answer me that«
»Is a cat a man Huck«
»No«
»Well den dey aint no sense in a cat talkin like a man Is a cow a man
er is a cow a cat«
»No she aint either of them«
»Well den she ain got no business to talk like either one er the yuther
of em Is a Frenchman a man«
»Yes«
»Well den Dad blame it why doan he talk like a man You answer me dat«
I see it warnt no use wasting words you cant learn a nigger to argue So
I quit
Chapter XV
We judged that three nights more would fetch us to Cairo at the bottom of
Illinois where the Ohio River comes in and that was what we was after We
would sell the raft and get on a steamboat and go way up the Ohio amongst the
free States and then be out of trouble
Well the second night a fog begun to come on and we made for a towhead to
tie to for it wouldnt do to try to run in fog but when I paddled ahead in the
canoe with the line to make fast there warnt anything but little saplings to
tie to I passed the line around one of them right on the edge of the cut bank
but there was a stiff current and the raft come booming down so lively she tore
it out by the roots and away she went I see the fog closing down and it made
me so sick and scared I couldnt budge for most a half a minute it seemed to me
and then there warnt no raft in sight you couldnt see twenty yards I
jumped into the canoe and run back to the stern and grabbed the paddle and set
her back a stroke But she didnt come I was in such a hurry I hadnt untied
her I got up and tried to untie her but I was so excited my hands shook so I
couldnt hardly do anything with them
As soon as I got started I took out after the raft hot and heavy right
down the towhead That was all right as far as it went but the towhead warnt
sixty yards long and the minute I flew by the foot of it I shot out into the
solid white fog and hadnt no more idea which way I was going than a dead man
Thinks I it wont do to paddle first I know Ill run into the bank or a
towhead or something I got to set still and float and yet its mighty fidgety
business to have to hold your hands still at such a time I whooped and
listened Away down there somewheres I hears a small whoop and up comes my
spirits I went tearing after it listening sharp to hear it again The next
time it come I see I warnt heading for it but heading away to the right of it
And the next time I was heading away to the left of it and not gaining on it
much either for I was flying around this way and that and tother but it was
going straight ahead all the time
I did wish the fool would think to beat a tin pan and beat it all the time
but he never did and it was the still places between the whoops that was making
the trouble for me Well I fought along and directly I hears the whoop behind
me I was tangled good now That was somebody elses whoop or else I was
turned around
I throwed the paddle down I heard the whoop again it was behind me yet
but in a different place it kept coming and kept changing its place and I
kept answering till byandby it was in front of me again and I knowed the
current had swung the canoes head down stream and I was all right if that was
Jim and not some other raftsman hollering I couldnt tell nothing about voices
in a fog for nothing dont look natural nor sound natural in a fog
The whooping went on and in about a minute I come a booming down on a cut
bank with smoky ghosts of big trees on it and the current throwed me off to the
left and shot by amongst a lot of snags that fairly roared the current was
tearing by them so swift
In another second or two it was solid white and still again I set perfectly
still then listening to my heart thump and I reckon I didnt draw a breath
while it thumped a hundred
I just give up then I knowed what the matter was That cut bank was an
island and Jim had gone down tother side of it It warnt no towhead that
you could float by in ten minutes It had the big timber of a regular island it
might be five or six mile long and more than a half a mile wide
I kept quiet with my ears cocked about fifteen minutes I reckon I was
floating along of course four or five mile an hour but you dont ever think
of that No you feel like you are laying dead still on the water and if a
little glimpse of a snag slips by you dont think to yourself how fast youre
going but you catch your breath and think my how that snags tearing along
If you think it aint dismal and lonesome out in a fog that way by yourself in
the night you try it once youll see
Next for about a half an hour I whoops now and then at last I hears the
answer a long ways off and tries to follow it but I couldnt do it and
directly I judged Id got into a nest of towheads for I had little dim
glimpses of them on both sides of me sometimes just a narrow channel between
and some that I couldnt see I knowed was there because Id hear the wash of
the current against the old dead brush and trash that hung over the banks Well
I warnt long losing the whoops down amongst the towheads and I only tried to
chase them a little while anyway because it was worse than chasing a
Jackolantern You never knowed a sound dodge around so and swap places so
quick and so much
I had to claw away from the bank pretty lively four or five times to keep
from knocking the islands out of the river and so I judged the raft must be
butting into the bank every now and then or else it would get further ahead and
clear out of hearing it was floating a little faster than what I was
Well I seemed to be in the open river again by but I couldnt hear no
sign of a whoop nowheres I reckoned Jim had fetched up on a snag maybe and it
was all up with him I was good and tired so I laid down in the canoe and said
I wouldnt bother no more I didnt want to go to sleep of course but I was so
sleepy I couldnt help it so I thought I would take just one little catnap
But I reckon it was more than a catnap for when I waked up the stars was
shining bright the fog was all gone and I was spinning down a big bend stern
first First I didnt know where I was I thought I was dreaming and when
things begun to come back to me they seemed to come up dim out of last week
It was a monstrous big river here with the tallest and the thickest kind of
timber on both banks just a solid wall as well as I could see by the stars I
looked away down stream and seen a black speck on the water I took out after
it but when I got to it it warnt nothing but a couple of sawlogs made fast
together Then I see another speck and chased that then another and this time
I was right It was the raft
When I got to it Jim was setting there with his head down between his knees
asleep with his right arm hanging over the steering oar The other oar was
smashed off and the raft was littered up with leaves and branches and dirt So
shed had a rough time
I made fast and laid down under Jims nose on the raft and begun to gap
and stretch my fists out against Jim and says
»Hello Jim have I been asleep Why didnt you stir me up«
»Goodness gracious is dat you Huck En you ain dead you ain drownded
yous back agin Its too good for true honey its too good for true Lemme
look at you chile lemme feel o you No you ain dead yous back agin live
en soun jis de same ole Huck de same ole Huck thanks to goodness«
»Whats the matter with you Jim You been a drinking«
»Drinkin Has I ben a drinkin Has I had a chance to be a drinkin«
»Well then what makes you talk so wild«
»How does I talk wild«
»How why haint you been talking about my coming back and all that stuff
as if Id been gone away«
»Huck Huck Finn you look me in de eye look me in de eye Haint you ben
gone away«
»Gone away Why what in the nation do you mean I haint been gone
anywheres Where would I go to«
»Well looky here boss deys sumfn wrong dey is Is I me or whois I
Is I heah or whah is I Now dats what I wants to know«
»Well I think youre here plain enough but I think youre a tangleheaded
old fool Jim«
»I is is I Well you answer me dis Didnt you tote out de line in de
canoe fer to make fas to de towhead«
»No I didnt What towhead I haint seen no towhead«
»You haint seen no towhead Looky here didnt de line pull loose en de
raf go a hummin down de river en leave you en de canoe behine in de fog«
»What fog«
»Why de fog De fog dats ben aroun all night En didnt you whoop en
didnt I whoop tell we got mix up in de islands en one un us got los en
tother one was jis as good as los kase he didnt know whah he wuz En
didnt I bust up agin a lot er dem islands en have a turrible time en mos git
drownded Now ain dat so boss aint it so You answer me dat«
»Well this is too many for me Jim I haint seen no fog nor no islands
nor no troubles nor nothing I been setting here talking with you all night
till you went to sleep about ten minutes ago and I reckon I done the same You
couldnt a got drunk in that time so of course youve been dreaming«
»Dad fetch it how is I gwyne to dream all dat in ten minutes«
»Well hang it all you did dream it because there didnt any of it
happen«
»But Huck its all jis as plain to me as «
»It dont make no difference how plain it is there aint nothing in it I
know because Ive been here all the time«
Jim didnt say nothing for about five minutes but set there studying over
it Then he says
»Well den I reckn I did dream it Huck but dog my cats ef it aint de
powerfullest dream I ever see En I haint ever had no dream bfo dats tired
me like dis one«
»Oh well thats all right because a dream does tire a body like
everything sometimes But this one was a staving dream tell me all about it
Jim«
So Jim went to work and told me the whole thing right through just as it
happened only he painted it up considerable Then he said he must start in and
terpret it because it was sent for a warning He said the first towhead stood
for a man that would try to do us some good but the current was another man
that would get us away from him The whoops was warnings that would come to us
every now and then and if we didnt try hard to make out to understand them
theyd just take us into bad luck stead of keeping us out of it The lot of
towheads was troubles we was going to get into with quarrelsome people and all
kinds of mean folks but if we minded our business and didnt talk back and
aggravate them we would pull through and get out of the fog and into the big
clear river which was the free States and wouldnt have no more trouble
It had clouded up pretty dark just after I got onto the raft but it was
clearing up again now
»Oh well thats all interpreted well enough as far as it goes Jim« I
says »but what does these things stand for«
It was the leaves and rubbish on the raft and the smashed oar You could
see them first rate now
Jim looked at the trash and then looked at me and back at the trash again
He had got the dream fixed so strong in his head that he couldnt seem to shake
it loose and get the facts back into its place again right away But when he
did get the thing straightened around he looked at me steady without ever
smiling and says
»What do dey stan for Is gwyne to tell you When I got all wore out wid
work en wid de callin for you en went to sleep my heart wuz mos broke
bekase you wuz los en I didn kyer no mo what become er me en de raf En
when I wake up en fine you back agin all safe en soun de tears come en I
could a got down on my knees en kiss yo foot Is so thankful En all you wuz
thinkin bout wuz how you could make a fool uv ole Jim wid a lie Dat truck dah
is trash en trash is what people is dat puts dirt on de head er dey frens en
makes em ashamed«
Then he got up slow and walked to the wigwam and went in there without
saying anything but that But that was enough It made me feel so mean I could
almost kissed his foot to get him to take it back
It was fifteen minutes before I could work myself up to go and humble myself
to a nigger but I done it and I warnt ever sorry for it afterwards neither
I didnt do him no more mean tricks and I wouldnt done that one if Id a
knowed it would make him feel that way
Chapter XVI
We slept most all day and started out at night a little ways behind a
monstrous long raft that was as long going by as a procession She had four long
sweeps at each end so we judged she carried as many as thirty men likely She
had five big wigwams aboard wide apart and an open camp fire in the middle
and a tall flagpole at each end There was a power of style about her It
amounted to something being a raftsman on such a craft as that
We went drifting down into a big bend and the night clouded up and got hot
The river was very wide and was walled with solid timber on both sides you
couldnt see a break in it hardly ever or a light We talked about Cairo and
wondered whether we would know it when we got to it I said likely we wouldnt
because I had heard say there warnt but about a dozen houses there and if they
didnt happen to have them lit up how was we going to know we was passing a
town Jim said if the two big rivers joined together there that would show But
I said maybe we might think we was passing the foot of an island and coming into
the same old river again That disturbed Jim and me too So the question was
what to do I said paddle ashore the first time a light showed and tell them
pap was behind coming along with a tradingscow and was a green hand at the
business and wanted to know how far it was to Cairo Jim thought it was a good
idea so we took a smoke on it and waited
There warnt nothing to do now but to look out sharp for the town and not
pass it without seeing it He said hed be mighty sure to see it because hed
be a free man the minute he seen it but if he missed it hed be in the slave
country again and no more show for freedom Every little while he jumps up and
says
»Dah she is«
But it warnt It was Jackolanterns or lightningbugs so he set down
again and went to watching same as before Jim said it made him all over
trembly and feverish to be so close to freedom Well I can tell you it made me
all over trembly and feverish too to hear him because I begun to get it
through my head that he was most free and who was to blame for it Why me I
couldnt get that out of my conscience no how nor no way It got to troubling
me so I couldnt rest I couldnt stay still in one place It hadnt ever come
home to me before what this thing was that I was doing But now it did and it
staid with me and scorched me more and more I tried to make out to myself that
I warnt to blame because I didnt run Jim off from his rightful owner but it
warnt no use conscience up and says every time »But you knowed he was
running for his freedom and you could a paddled ashore and told somebody« That
was so I couldnt get around that noway That was where it pinched
Conscience says to me »What had poor Miss Watson done to you that you could
see her nigger go off right under your eyes and never say one single word What
did that poor old woman do to you that you could treat her so mean Why she
tried to learn you your book she tried to learn you your manners she tried to
be good to you every way she knowed how Thats what she done«
I got to feeling so mean and so miserable I most wished I was dead I
fidgeted up and down the raft abusing myself to myself and Jim was fidgeting
up and down past me We neither of us could keep still Every time he danced
around and says »Dahs Cairo« it went through me like a shot and I thought if
it was Cairo I reckoned I would die of miserableness
Jim talked out loud all the time while I was talking to myself He was
saying how the first thing he would do when he got to a free State he would go
to saving up money and never spend a single cent and when he got enough he
would buy his wife which was owned on a farm close to where Miss Watson lived
and then they would both work to buy the two children and if their master
wouldnt sell them theyd get an Ablitionist to go and steal them
It most froze me to hear such talk He wouldnt ever dared to talk such talk
in his life before Just see what a difference it made in him the minute he
judged he was about free It was according to the old saying »give a nigger an
inch and hell take an ell« Thinks I this is what comes of my not thinking
Here was this nigger which I had as good as helped to run away coming right out
flatfooted and saying he would steal his children children that belonged to a
man I didnt even know a man that hadnt ever done me no harm
I was sorry to hear Jim say that it was such a lowering of him My
conscience got to stirring me up hotter than ever until at last I says to it
»Let up on me it aint too late yet Ill paddle ashore at the first light
and tell« I felt easy and happy and light as a feather right off All my
troubles was gone I went to looking out sharp for a light and sort of singing
to myself Byandby one showed Jim sings out
»Wes safe Huck wes safe Jump up and crack yo heels dats de good ole
Cairo at las I jis knows it«
I says
»Ill take the canoe and go see Jim It mightnt be you know«
He jumped and got the canoe ready and put his old coat in the bottom for me
to set on and give me the paddle and as I shoved off he says
»Pooty soon Ill be ashoutn for joy en Ill say its all on accounts o
Huck Is a free man en I couldnt ever ben free ef it hadn ben for Huck Huck
done it Jim wont ever forgit you Huck yous de bes fren Jims ever had en
yous de only fren ole Jims got now«
I was paddling off all in a sweat to tell on him but when he says this it
seemed to kind of take the tuck all out of me I went along slow then and I
warnt right down certain whether I was glad I started or whether I warnt When
I was fifty yards off Jim says
»Dah you goes de ole true Huck de ony white genlman dat ever kep his
promise to ole Jim«
Well I just felt sick But I says I got to do it I cant get out of it
Right then along comes a skiff with two men in it with guns and they stopped
and I stopped One of them says
»Whats that yonder«
»A piece of a raft« I says
»Do you belong on it«
»Yes sir«
»Any men on it«
»Only one sir«
»Well theres five niggers run off tonight up yonder above the head of
the bend Is your man white or black«
I didnt answer up prompt I tried to but the words wouldnt come I tried
for a second or two to brace up and out with it but I warnt man enough
hadnt the spunk of a rabbit I see I was weakening so I just give up trying
and up and says
»Hes white«
»I reckon well go and see for ourselves«
»I wish you would« says I »because its pap thats there and maybe youd
help me tow the raft ashore where the light is Hes sick and so is mam and
Mary Ann«
»Oh the devil were in a hurry boy But I spose weve got to Come
buckle to your paddle and lets get along«
I buckled to my paddle and they laid to their oars When we had made a
stroke or two I says
»Papll be mighty much obleeged to you I can tell you Everybody goes away
when I want them to help me tow the raft ashore and I cant do it by myself«
»Well thats infernal mean Odd too Say boy whats the matter with your
father«
»Its the a the well it aint anything much«
They stopped pulling It warnt but a mighty little ways to the raft now
One says
»Boy thats a lie What is the matter with your pap Answer up square now
and itll be the better for you«
»I will sir I will honest but dont leave us please Its the the
gentlemen if youll only pull ahead and let me heave you the headline you
wont have to come anear the raft please do«
»Set her back John set her back« says one They backed water »Keep away
boy keep to looard Confound it I just expect the wind has blowed it to us
Your paps got the smallpox and you know it precious well Why didnt you come
out and say so Do you want to spread it all over«
»Well« says I ablubbering »Ive told everybody before and then they
just went away and left us«
»Poor devil theres something in that We are right down sorry for you but
we well hang it we dont want the smallpox you see Look here Ill tell
you what to do Dont you try to land by yourself or youll smash everything to
pieces You float along down about twenty miles and youll come to a town on the
lefthand side of the river It will be long after sunup then and when you
ask for help you tell them your folks are all down with chills and fever Dont
be a fool again and let people guess what is the matter Now were trying to do
you a kindness so you just put twenty miles between us thats a good boy It
wouldnt do any good to land yonder where the light is its only a woodyard
Say I reckon your fathers poor and Im bound to say hes in pretty hard
luck Here Ill put a twenty dollar gold piece on this board and you get it
when it floats by I feel mighty mean to leave you but my kingdom it wont do
to fool with smallpox dont you see«
»Hold on Parker« says the other man »heres a twenty to put on the board
for me Goodbye boy you do as Mr Parker told you and youll be all right«
»Thats so my boy goodbye goodbye If you see any runaway niggers you
get help and nab them and you can make some money by it«
»Goodbye sir« says I »I wont let no runaway niggers get by me if I can
help it«
They went off and I got aboard the raft feeling bad and low because I
knowed very well I had done wrong and I see it warnt no use for me to try to
learn to do right a body that dont get started right when hes little aint
got no show when the pinch comes there aint nothing to back him up and keep
him to his work and so he gets beat Then I thought a minute and says to
myself hold on spose youd a done right and give Jim up would you felt
better than what you do now No says I Id feel bad Id feel just the same
way I do now Well then says I whats the use you learning to do right when
its troublesome to do right and aint no trouble to do wrong and the wages is
just the same I was stuck I couldnt answer that So I reckoned I wouldnt
bother no more about it but after this always do whichever come handiest at the
time
I went into the wigwam Jim warnt there I looked all around he warnt
anywhere I says
»Jim«
»Here I is Huck Is dey out o sight yit Dont talk loud«
He was in the river under the stern oar with just his nose out I told him
they was out of sight so he come aboard He says
»I was alistenin to all de talk en I slips into de river en was gwyne to
shove for sho if dey come aboard Den I was gwyne to swim to de raf agin when
dey was gone But lawsy how you did fool em Huck Dat wuz de smartes dodge
I tell you chile I speck it save ole Jim ole Jim aint gwyne to forgit you
for dat honey«
Then we talked about the money It was a pretty good raise twenty dollars
apiece Jim said we could take deck passage on a steamboat now and the money
would last us as far as we wanted to go in the free States He said twenty mile
more warnt far for the raft to go but he wished we was already there
Towards daybreak we tied up and Jim was mighty particular about hiding the
raft good Then he worked all day fixing things in bundles and getting all
ready to quit rafting
That night about ten we hove in sight of the lights of a town away down in a
lefthand bend
I went off in the canoe to ask about it Pretty soon I found a man out in
the river with a skiff setting a trotline I ranged up and says
»Mister is that town Cairo«
»Cairo no You must be a blame fool«
»What town is it mister«
»If you want to know go and find out If you stay here botherin around me
for about a half a minute longer youll get something you wont want«
I paddled to the raft Jim was awful disappointed but I said never mind
Cairo would be the next place I reckoned
We passed another town before daylight and I was going out again but it
was high ground so I didnt go No high ground about Cairo Jim said I had
forgot it We laid up for the day on a towhead tolerable close to the
lefthand bank I begun to suspicion something So did Jim I says
»Maybe we went by Cairo in the fog that night«
He says
»Doan less talk about it Huck Po niggers cant have no luck I awluz
spected dat rattlesnake skin warnt done wid its work«
»I wish Id never seen that snakeskin Jim I do wish Id never laid eyes
on it«
»It aint yo fault Huck you didn know Dont you blame yoself bout
it«
When it was daylight here was the clear Ohio water in shore sure enough
and outside was the old regular Muddy So it was all up with Cairo
We talked it all over It wouldnt do to take to the shore we couldnt take
the raft up the stream of course There warnt no way but to wait for dark and
start back in the canoe and take the chances So we slept all day amongst the
cottonwood thicket so as to be fresh for the work and when we went back to
the raft about dark the canoe was gone
We didnt say a word for a good while There warnt anything to say We both
knowed well enough it was some more work of the rattlesnake skin so what was
the use to talk about it It would only look like we was finding fault and that
would be bound to fetch more bad luck and keep on fetching it too till we
knowed enough to keep still
Byandby we talked about what we better do and found there warnt no way
but just to go along down with the raft till we got a chance to buy a canoe to
go back in We warnt going to borrow it when there warnt anybody around the
way pap would do for that might set people after us
So we shoved out after dark on the raft
Anybody that dont believe yet that its foolishness to handle a
snakeskin after all that that snakeskin done for us will believe it now if
they read on and see what more it done for us
The place to buy canoes is off of rafts laying up at shore But we didnt
see no rafts laying up so we went along during three hours and more Well the
night got gray and ruther thick which is the next meanest thing to fog You
cant tell the shape of the river and you cant see no distance It got to be
very late and still and then along comes a steamboat up the river We lit the
lantern and judged she would see it Upstream boats didnt generly come close
to us they go out and follow the bars and hunt for easy water under the reefs
but nights like this they bull right up the channel against the whole river
We could hear her pounding along but we didnt see her good till she was
close She aimed right for us Often they do that and try to see how close they
can come without touching sometimes the wheel bites off a sweep and then the
pilot sticks his head out and laughs and thinks hes mighty smart Well here
she comes and we said she was going to try to shave us but she didnt seem to
be sheering off a bit She was a big one and she was coming in a hurry too
looking like a black cloud with rows of glowworms around it but all of a
sudden she bulged out big and scary with a long row of wideopen furnace doors
shining like redhot teeth and her monstrous bows and guards hanging right over
us There was a yell at us and a jingling of bells to stop the engines a
powwow of cussing and whistling of steam and as Jim went overboard on one
side and I on the other she come smashing straight through the raft
I dived and I aimed to find the bottom too for a thirtyfoot wheel had
got to go over me and I wanted it to have plenty of room I could always stay
under water a minute this time I reckon I staid under water a minute and a
half Then I bounced for the top in a hurry for I was nearly busting I popped
out to my armpits and blowed the water out of my nose and puffed a bit Of
course there was a booming current and of course that boat started her engines
again ten seconds after she stopped them for they never cared much for
raftsmen so now she was churning along up the river out of sight in the thick
weather though I could hear her
I sung out for Jim about a dozen times but I didnt get any answer so I
grabbed a plank that touched me while I was »treading water« and struck out for
shore shoving it ahead of me But I made out to see that the drift of the
current was towards the lefthand shore which meant that I was in a crossing
so I changed off and went that way
It was one of these long slanting twomile crossings so I was a good long
time in getting over I made a safe landing and clum up the bank I couldnt
see but a little ways but I went poking along over rough ground for a quarter
of a mile or more and then I run across a big oldfashioned double log house
before I noticed it I was going to rush by and get away but a lot of dogs
jumped out and went to howling and barking at me and I knowed better than to
move another peg
Chapter XVII
In about half a minute somebody spoke out of a window without putting his head
out and says
»Be done boys Whos there«
I says
»Its me«
»Whos me«
»George Jackson sir«
»What do you want«
»I dont want nothing sir I only want to go along by but the dogs wont
let me«
»What are you prowling around here this time of night for hey«
»I warnt prowling around sir I fell overboard off of the steamboat«
»Oh you did did you Strike a light there somebody What did you say your
name was«
»George Jackson sir Im only a boy«
»Look here if youre telling the truth you neednt be afraid nobody ll
hurt you But dont try to budge stand right where you are Rouse out Bob and
Tom some of you and fetch the guns George Jackson is there anybody with
you«
»No sir nobody«
I heard the people stirring around in the house now and see a light The
man sung out
»Snatch that light away Betsy you old fool aint you got any sense Put
it on the floor behind the front door Bob if you and Tom are ready take your
places«
»All ready«
»Now George Jackson do you know the Shepherdsons«
»No sir I never heard of them«
»Well that may be so and it maynt Now all ready Step forward George
Jackson And mind dont you hurry come mighty slow If theres anybody with
you let him keep back if he shows himself hell be shot Come along now
Come slow push the door open yourself just enough to squeeze in d you
hear«
I didnt hurry I couldnt if Id a wanted to I took one slow step at a
time and there warnt a sound only I thought I could hear my heart The dogs
were as still as the humans but they followed a little behind me When I got to
the three log doorsteps I heard them unlocking and unbarring and unbolting I
put my hand on the door and pushed it a little and a little more till somebody
said »There thats enough put your head in« I done it but I judged they
would take it off
The candle was on the floor and there they all was looking at me and me
at them for about a quarter of a minute Three big men with guns pointed at me
which made me wince I tell you the oldest gray and about sixty the other two
thirty or more all of them fine and handsome and the sweetest old
grayheaded lady and back of her two young women which I couldnt see right
well The old gentleman says
»There I reckon its all right Come in«
As soon as I was in the old gentleman he locked the door and barred it and
bolted it and told the young men to come in with their guns and they all went
in a big parlor that had a new rag carpet on the floor and got together in a
corner that was out of range of the front windows there warnt none on the
side They held the candle and took a good look at me and all said »Why he
aint a Shepherdson no there aint any Shepherdson about him« Then the old
man said he hoped I wouldnt mind being searched for arms because he didnt
mean no harm by it it was only to make sure So he didnt pry into my pockets
but only felt outside with his hands and said it was all right He told me to
make myself easy and at home and tell all about myself but the old lady says
»Why bless you Saul the poor things as wet as he can be and dont you
reckon it may be hes hungry«
»True for you Rachel I forgot«
So the old lady says
»Betsy« this was a nigger woman »you fly around and get him something to
eat as quick as you can poor thing and one of you girls go and wake up Buck
and tell him Oh here he is himself Buck take this little stranger and get
the wet clothes off from him and dress him up in some of yours thats dry«
Buck looked about as old as me thirteen or fourteen or along there though
he was a little bigger than me He hadnt on anything but a shirt and he was
very frowsyheaded He come in gaping and digging one fist into his eyes and he
was dragging a gun along with the other one He says
»Aint they no Shepherdsons around«
They said no twas a false alarm
»Well« he says »if theyd a ben some I reckon Id a got one«
They all laughed and Bob says
»Why Buck they might have scalped us all youve been so slow in coming«
»Well nobody come after me and it aint right Im always kep down I
dont get no show«
»Never mind Buck my boy« says the old man »youll have show enough all
in good time dont you fret about that Go long with you now and do as your
mother told you«
When we got up stairs to his room he got me a coarse shirt and a roundabout
and pants of his and I put them on While I was at it he asked me what my name
was but before I could tell him he started to telling me about a blue jay and
a young rabbit he had catched in the woods day before yesterday and he asked me
where Moses was when the candle went out I said I didnt know I hadnt heard
about it before no way
»Well guess« he says
»Howm I going to guess« says I »when I never heard tell about it before«
»But you can guess cant you Its just as easy«
»Which candle« I says
»Why any candle« he says
»I dont know where he was« says I »where was he«
»Why he was in the dark Thats where he was«
»Well if you knowed where he was what did you ask me for«
»Why blame it its a riddle dont you see Say how long are you going to
stay here You got to stay always We can just have booming times they dont
have no school now Do you own a dog Ive got a dog and hell go in the river
and bring out chips that you throw in Do you like to comb up Sundays and all
that kind of foolishness You bet I dont but ma she makes me Confound these
ole britches I reckon Id better put em on but Id ruther not its so warm
Are you all ready All right come along old hoss«
Cold cornpone cold cornbeef butter and buttermilk that is what they
had for me down there and there aint nothing better that ever Ive come across
yet Buck and his ma and all of them smoked cob pipes except the nigger woman
which was gone and the two young women They all smoked and talked and I eat
and talked The young women had quilts around them and their hair down their
backs They all asked me questions and I told them how pap and me and all the
family was living on a little farm down at the bottom of Arkansaw and my sister
Mary Ann run off and got married and never was heard of no more and Bill went
to hunt them and he warnt heard of no more and Tom and Mort died and then
there warnt nobody but just me and pap left and he was just trimmed down to
nothing on account of his troubles so when he died I took what there was left
because the farm didnt belong to us and started up the river deck passage
and fell overboard and that was how I come to be here So they said I could
have a home there as long as I wanted it Then it was most daylight and
everybody went to bed and I went to bed with Buck and when I waked up in the
morning drat it all I had forgot what my name was So I laid there about an
hour trying to think and when Buck waked up I says
»Can you spell Buck«
»Yes« he says
»I bet you cant spell my name« says I
»I bet you what you dare I can« says he
»All right« says I »go ahead«
»Gorge Jaxon there now« he says
»Well« says I »you done it but I didnt think you could It aint no
slouch of a name to spell right off without studying«
I set it down private because somebody might want me to spell it next
and so I wanted to be handy with it and rattle it off like I was used to it
It was a mighty nice family and a mighty nice house too I hadnt seen no
house out in the country before that was so nice and had so much style It
didnt have an iron latch on the front door nor a wooden one with a buckskin
string but a brass knob to turn the same as houses in a town There warnt no
bed in the parlor not a sign of a bed but heaps of parlors in towns has beds
in them There was a big fireplace that was bricked on the bottom and the
bricks was kept clean and red by pouring water on them and scrubbing them with
another brick sometimes they washed them over with red waterpaint that they
call Spanishbrown same as they do in town They had big brass dogirons that
could hold up a sawlog There was a clock on the middle of the mantelpiece
with a picture of a town painted on the bottom half of the glass front and a
round place in the middle of it for the sun and you could see the pendulum
swing behind it It was beautiful to hear that clock tick and sometimes when
one of these peddlers had been along and scoured her up and got her in good
shape she would start in and strike a hundred and fifty before she got tuckered
out They wouldnt took any money for her
Well there was a big outlandish parrot on each side of the clock made out
of something like chalk and painted up gaudy By one of the parrots was a cat
made of crockery and a crockery dog by the other and when you pressed down on
them they squeaked but didnt open their mouths nor look different nor
interested They squeaked through underneath There was a couple of big
wildturkeywing fans spread out behind those things On a table in the middle
of the room was a kind of a lovely crockery basket that had apples and oranges
and peaches and grapes piled up in it which was much redder and yellower and
prettier than real ones is but they warnt real because you could see where
pieces had got chipped off and showed the white chalk or whatever it was
underneath
This table had a cover made out of beautiful oilcloth with a red and blue
spreadeagle painted on it and a painted border all around It come all the way
from Philadelphia they said There was some books too piled up perfectly
exact on each corner of the table One was a big family Bible full of
pictures One was »Pilgrims Progress« about a man that left his family it
didnt say why I read considerable in it now and then The statements was
interesting but tough Another was »Friendships Offering« full of beautiful
stuff and poetry but I didnt read the poetry Another was Henry Clays
Speeches and another was Dr Gunns Family Medicine which told you all about
what to do if a body was sick or dead There was a Hymn Book and a lot of other
books And there was nice splitbottom chairs and perfectly sound too not
bagged down in the middle and busted like an old basket
They had pictures hung on the walls mainly Washingtons and Lafayettes and
battles and Highland Marys and one called »Signing the Declaration« There was
some that they called crayons which one of the daughters which was dead made
her own self when she was only fifteen years old They was different from any
pictures I ever see before blacker mostly than is common One was a woman in
a slim black dress belted small under the armpits with bulges like a cabbage
in the middle of the sleeves and a large black scoopshovel bonnet with a black
veil and white slim ankles crossed about with black tape and very wee black
slippers like a chisel and she was leaning pensive on a tombstone on her right
elbow under a weeping willow and her other hand hanging down her side holding
a white handkerchief and a reticule and underneath the picture it said »Shall I
Never See Thee More Alas« Another one was a young lady with her hair all combed
up straight to the top of her head and knotted there in front of a comb like a
chairback and she was crying into a handkerchief and had a dead bird laying on
its back in her other hand with its heels up and underneath the picture it said
»I Shall Never Hear Thy Sweet Chirrup More Alas« There was one where a young
lady was at a window looking up at the moon and tears running down her cheeks
and she had an open letter in one hand with black sealingwax showing on one
edge of it and she was mashing a locket with a chain to it against her mouth
and underneath the picture it said »And Art Thou Gone Yes Thou Art Gone Alas«
These was all nice pictures I reckon but I didnt somehow seem to take to
them because if ever I was down a little they always give me the fantods
Everybody was sorry she died because she had laid out a lot more of these
pictures to do and a body could see by what she had done what they had lost
But I reckoned that with her disposition she was having a better time in the
graveyard She was at work on what they said was her greatest picture when she
took sick and every day and every night it was her prayer to be allowed to live
till she got it done but she never got the chance It was a picture of a young
woman in a long white gown standing on the rail of a bridge all ready to jump
off with her hair all down her back and looking up to the moon with the tears
running down her face and she had two arms folded across her breast and two
arms stretched out in front and two more reaching up towards the moon and the
idea was to see which pair would look best and then scratch out all the other
arms but as I was saying she died before she got her mind made up and now
they kept this picture over the head of the bed in her room and every time her
birthday come they hung flowers on it Other times it was hid with a little
curtain The young woman in the picture had a kind of a nice sweet face but
there was so many arms it made her look too spidery seemed to me
This young girl kept a scrapbook when she was alive and used to paste
obituaries and accidents and cases of patient suffering in it out of the
Presbyterian Observer and write poetry after them out of her own head It was
very good poetry This is what she wrote about a boy by the name of Stephen
Dowling Bots that fell down a well and was drownded
Ode to Stephen Dowling Bots Decd
And did young Stephen sicken
And did young Stephen die
And did the sad hearts thicken
And did the mourners cry
No such was not the fate of
Young Stephen Dowling Bots
Though sad hearts round him thickened
Twas not from sickness shots
No whoopingcough did rack his frame
Nor measles drear with spots
Not these impaired the sacred name
Of Stephen Dowling Bots
Despised love struck not with woe
That head of curly knots
Nor stomach troubles laid him low
Young Stephen Dowling Bots
O no Then list with tearful eye
Whilst I his fate do tell
His soul did from this cold world fly
By falling down a well
They got him out and emptied him
Alas it was too late
His spirit was gone for to sport aloft
In the realms of the good and great
If Emmeline Grangerford could make poetry like that before she was fourteen
there aint no telling what she could a done byandby Buck said she could
rattle off poetry like nothing She didnt ever have to stop to think He said
she would slap down a line and if she couldnt find anything to rhyme with it
she would just scratch it out and slap down another one and go ahead She
warnt particular she could write about anything you choose to give her to
write about just so it was sadful Every time a man died or a woman died or a
child died she would be on hand with her tribute before he was cold She called
them tributes The neighbors said it was the doctor first then Emmeline then
the undertaker the undertaker never got in ahead of Emmeline but once and
then she hung fire on a rhyme for the dead persons name which was Whistler
She warnt ever the same after that she never complained but she kind of
pined away and did not live long Poor thing manys the time I made myself go
up to the little room that used to be hers and get out her poor old scrapbook
and read in it when her pictures had been aggravating me and I had soured on her
a little I liked all that family dead ones and all and warnt going to let
anything come between us Poor Emmeline made poetry about all the dead people
when she was alive and it didnt seem right that there warnt nobody to make
some about her now she was gone so I tried to sweat out a verse or two myself
but I couldnt seem to make it go somehow They kept Emmelines room trim and
nice and all the things fixed in it just the way she liked to have them when she
was alive and nobody ever slept there The old lady took care of the room
herself though there was plenty of niggers and she sewed there a good deal and
read her Bible there mostly
Well as I was saying about the parlor there was beautiful curtains on the
windows white with pictures painted on them of castles with vines all down
the walls and cattle coming down to drink There was a little old piano too
that had tin pans in it I reckon and nothing was ever so lovely as to hear the
young ladies sing »The Last Link is Broken« and play »The Battle of Prague« on
it The walls of all the rooms was plastered and most had carpets on the
floors and the whole house was whitewashed on the outside
It was a double house and the big open place betwixt them was roofed and
floored and sometimes the table was set there in the middle of the day and it
was a cool comfortable place Nothing couldnt be better And warnt the
cooking good and just bushels of it too
Chapter XVIII
Col Grangerford was a gentleman you see He was a gentleman all over and so
was his family He was well born as the saying is and thats worth as much in
a man as it is in a horse so the Widow Douglas said and nobody ever denied
that she was of the first aristocracy in our town and pap he always said it
too though he warnt no more quality than a mudcat himself Col Grangerford
was very tall and very slim and had a darkishpaly complexion not a sign of
red in it anywheres he was cleanshaved every morning all over his thin face
and he had the thinnest kind of lips and the thinnest kind of nostrils and a
high nose and heavy eyebrows and the blackest kind of eyes sunk so deep back
that they seemed like they was looking out of caverns at you as you may say
His forehead was high and his hair was black and straight and hung to his
shoulders His hands was long and thin and every day of his life he put on a
clean shirt and a full suit from head to foot made out of linen so white it hurt
your eyes to look at it and on Sundays he wore a blue tailcoat with brass
buttons on it He carried a mahogany cane with a silver head to it There warnt
no frivolishness about him not a bit and he warnt ever loud He was as kind
as he could be you could feel that you know and so you had confidence
Sometimes he smiled and it was good to see but when he straightened himself up
like a libertypole and the lightning begun to flicker out from under his
eyebrows you wanted to climb a tree first and find out what the matter was
afterwards He didnt ever have to tell anybody to mind their manners
everybody was always good mannered where he was Everybody loved to have him
around too he was sunshine most always I mean he made it seem like good
weather When he turned into a cloudbank it was awful dark for a half a minute
and that was enough there wouldnt nothing go wrong again for a week
When him and the old lady come down in the morning all the family got up
out of their chairs and give them goodday and didnt set down again till they
had set down Then Tom and Bob went to the sideboard where the decanters was
and mixed a glass of bitters and handed it to him and he held it in his hand
and waited till Toms and Bobs was mixed and then they bowed and said »Our
duty to you sir and madam« and they bowed the least bit in the world and said
thank you and so they drank all three and Bob and Tom poured a spoonful of
water on the sugar and the mite of whisky or apple brandy in the bottom of their
tumblers and give it to me and Buck and we drank to the old people too
Bob was the oldest and Tom next Tall beautiful men with very broad
shoulders and brown faces and long black hair and black eyes They dressed in
white linen from head to foot like the old gentleman and wore broad Panama
hats
Then there was Miss Charlotte she was twentyfive and tall and proud and
grand but as good as she could be when she warnt stirred up but when she
was she had a look that would make you wilt in your tracks like her father
She was beautiful
So was her sister Miss Sophia but it was a different kind She was gentle
and sweet like a dove and she was only twenty
Each person had their own nigger to wait on them Buck too My nigger had
a monstrous easy time because I warnt used to having anybody do anything for
me but Bucks was on the jump most of the time
This was all there was of the family now but there used to be more three
sons they got killed and Emmeline that died
The old gentleman owned a lot of farms and over a hundred niggers
Sometimes a stack of people would come there horseback from ten or fifteen
mile around and stay five or six days and have such junketings round about and
on the river and dances and picnics in the woods daytimes and balls at the
house nights These people was mostly kinfolks of the family The men brought
their guns with them It was a handsome lot of quality I tell you
There was another clan of aristocracy around there five or six families
mostly of the name of Shepherdson They was as hightoned and well born and
rich and grand as the tribe of Grangerfords The Shepherdsons and the
Grangerfords used the same steamboat landing which was about two mile above our
house so sometimes when I went up there with a lot of our folks I used to see a
lot of the Shepherdsons there on their fine horses
One day Buck and me was away out in the woods hunting and heard a horse
coming We was crossing the road Buck says
»Quick Jump for the woods«
We done it and then peeped down the woods through the leaves Pretty soon a
splendid young man come galloping down the road setting his horse easy and
looking like a soldier He had his gun across his pommel I had seen him before
It was young Harney Shepherdson I heard Bucks gun go off at my ear and
Harneys hat tumbled off from his head He grabbed his gun and rode straight to
the place where we was hid But we didnt wait We started through the woods on
a run The woods warnt thick so I looked over my shoulder to dodge the
bullet and twice I seen Harney cover Buck with his gun and then he rode away
the way he come to get his hat I reckon but I couldnt see We never stopped
running till we got home The old gentlemans eyes blazed a minute twas
pleasure mainly I judged then his face sort of smoothed down and he says
kind of gentle
»I dont like that shooting from behind a bush Why didnt you step into the
road my boy«
»The Shepherdsons dont father They always take advantage«
Miss Charlotte she held her head up like a queen while Buck was telling his
tale and her nostrils spread and her eyes snapped The two young men looked
dark but never said nothing Miss Sophia she turned pale but the color come
back when she found the man warnt hurt
Soon as I could get Buck down by the corncribs under the trees by
ourselves I says
»Did you want to kill him Buck«
»Well I bet I did«
»What did he do to you«
»Him He never done nothing to me«
»Well then what did you want to kill him for«
»Why nothing only its on account of the feud«
»Whats a feud«
»Why where was you raised Dont you know what a feud is«
»Never heard of it before tell me about it«
»Well« says Buck »a feud is this way A man has a quarrel with another
man and kills him then that other mans brother kills him then the other
brothers on both sides goes for one another; then the cousins chip in and
byandby everybodys killed off and there aint no more feud But its kind of
slow and takes a long time«
»Has this one been going on long Buck«
»Well I should reckon it started thirty year ago or somers along there
There was trouble bout something and then a lawsuit to settle it and the suit
went agin one of the men and so he up and shot the man that won the suit
which he would naturally do of course Anybody would«
»What was the trouble about Buck land«
»I reckon maybe I dont know«
»Well who done the shooting was it a Grangerford or a Shepherdson«
»Laws how do I know it was so long ago«
»Dont anybody know«
»Oh yes pa knows I reckon and some of the other old folks but they
dont know now what the row was about in the first place«
»Has there been many killed Buck«
»Yes right smart chance of funerals But they dont always kill Pas got
a few buckshot in him but he dont mind it cuz he dont weigh much anyway
Bobs been carved up some with a bowie and Toms been hurt once or twice«
»Has anybody been killed this year Buck«
»Yes we got one and they got one Bout three months ago my cousin Bud
fourteen year old was riding through the woods on tother side of the river
and didnt have no weapon with him which was blame foolishness and in a
lonesome place he hears a horse acoming behind him and sees old Baldy
Shepherdson alinkin after him with his gun in his hand and his white hair
aflying in the wind and stead of jumping off and taking to the brush Bud
lowed he could outrun him so they had it nip and tuck for five mile or more
the old man againing all the time so at last Bud seen it warnt any use so he
stopped and faced around so as to have the bullet holes in front you know and
the old man he rode up and shot him down But he didnt git much chance to enjoy
his luck for inside of a week our folks laid him out«
»I reckon that old man was a coward Buck«
»I reckon he warnt a coward Not by a blame sight There aint a coward
amongst them Shepherdsons not a one And there aint no cowards amongst the
Grangerfords either Why that old man kep up his end in a fight one day for
a half an hour against three Grangerfords and come out winner They was all
ahorseback he lit off of his horse and got behind a little woodpile and kep
his horse before him to stop the bullets but the Grangerfords staid on their
horses and capered around the old man and peppered away at him and he peppered
away at them Him and his horse both went home pretty leaky and crippled but
the Grangerfords had to be fetched home and one of em was dead and another
died the next day No sir if a bodys out hunting for cowards he dont want
to fool away any time amongst them Shepherdsons becuz they dont breed any of
that kind«
Next Sunday we all went to church about three mile everybody ahorseback
The men took their guns along so did Buck and kept them between their knees or
stood them handy against the wall The Shepherdsons done the same It was pretty
ornery preaching all about brotherly love and suchlike tiresomeness but
everybody said it was a good sermon and they all talked it over going home and
had such a powerful lot to say about faith and good works and free grace and
preforeordestination and I dont know what all that it did seem to me to be
one of the roughest Sundays I had run across yet
About an hour after dinner everybody was dozing around some in their chairs
and some in their rooms and it got to be pretty dull Buck and a dog was
stretched out on the grass in the sun sound asleep I went up to our room and
judged I would take a nap myself I found that sweet Miss Sophia standing in her
door which was next to ours and she took me in her room and shut the door very
soft and asked me if I liked her and I said I did and she asked me if I would
do something for her and not tell anybody and I said I would Then she said
shed forgot her Testament and left it in the seat at church between two other
books and would I slip out quiet and go there and fetch it to her and not say
nothing to nobody I said I would So I slid out and slipped off up the road
and there warnt anybody at the church except maybe a hog or two for there
warnt any lock on the door and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summertime
because its cool If you notice most folks dont go to church only when
theyve got to but a hog is different
Says I to myself somethings up it aint natural for a girl to be in such
a sweat about a Testament so I give it a shake and out drops a little piece of
paper with »Halfpast two« wrote on it with a pencil I ransacked it but
couldnt find anything else I couldnt make anything out of that so I put the
paper in the book again and when I got home and up stairs there was Miss
Sophia in her door waiting for me She pulled me in and shut the door then she
looked in the Testament till she found the paper and as soon as she read it she
looked glad and before a body could think she grabbed me and give me a
squeeze and said I was the best boy in the world and not to tell anybody She
was mighty red in the face for a minute and her eyes lighted up and it made
her powerful pretty I was a good deal astonished but when I got my breath I
asked her what the paper was about and she asked me if I had read it and I
said no and she asked me if I could read writing and I told her »no only
coarsehand« and then she said the paper warnt anything but a bookmark to
keep her place and I might go and play now
I went off down to the river studying over this thing and pretty soon I
noticed that my nigger was following along behind When we was out of sight of
the house he looked back and around a second and then comes arunning and
says
»Mars Jawge if youll come down into de swamp Ill show you a whole stack
o watermoccasins«
Thinks I thats mighty curious he said that yesterday He oughter know a
body dont love watermoccasins enough to go around hunting for them What is he
up to anyway So I says
»All right trot ahead«
I followed a half a mile then he struck out over the swamp and waded ankle
deep as much as another half mile We come to a little flat piece of land which
was dry and very thick with trees and bushes and vines and he says
»You shove right in dah jist a few steps Mars Jawge dahs whah dey is
Is seed m befo I dont kyer to see em no mo«
Then he slopped right along and went away and pretty soon the trees hid
him I poked into the place aways and come to a little open patch as big as a
bedroom all hung around with vines and found a man laying there asleep and
by jings it was my old Jim
I waked him up and I reckoned it was going to be a grand surprise to him to
see me again but it warnt He nearly cried he was so glad but he warnt
surprised He said he swum along behind me that night and heard me yell every
time but dasnt answer because he didnt want nobody to pick him up and take
him into slavery again Says he
»I got hurt a little en couldnt swim fas so I wuz a considerable ways
behine you towards de las when you landed I reckned I could ketch up wid you
on de lan dout havin to shout at you but when I see dat house I begin to go
slow I uz off too fur to hear what dey say to you I wuz fraid o de dogs
but when it uz all quiet agin I knowed yous in de house so I struck out for
de woods to wait for day Early in de mawnin some er de niggers come along
gwyne to de fields en dey tuck me en showed me dis place whah de dogs cant
track me on accounts o de water en dey brings me truck to eat every night en
tells me how yous a gittn along«
»Why didnt you tell my Jack to fetch me here sooner Jim«
»Well twarnt no use to sturb you Huck tell we could do sumfn but
wes all right now I ben abuyin pots en pans en vittles as I got a chanst
en a patchin up de raf nights when «
»What raft Jim«
»Our ole raf«
»You mean to say our old raft warnt smashed all to flinders«
»No she warnt She was tore up a good deal one en of her was but dey
warnt no great harm done ony our traps was mos all los Ef we hadn dive
so deep en swum so fur under water en de night hadn ben so dark en we warnt
so skyerd en ben sich punkinheads as de sayin is wed a seed de raf But
its jis as well we didnt kase now shes all fixed up agin mos as good as
new en wes got a new lot o stuff too in de place o what uz los«
»Why how did you get hold of the raft again Jim did you catch her«
»How I gwyne to ketch her en I out in de woods No some er de niggers
foun her ketched on a snag along heah in de ben en dey hid her in a crick
mongst de willows en dey wuz so much jawin bout which un um she blong to
de mos dat I come to heah bout it pooty soon so I ups en settles de trouble
by tellin um she dont blong to none uv um but to you en me en I ast m if
dey gwyne to grab a young white genlmans propaty en git a hidn for it Den I
gin m ten cents apiece en dey uz mighty well satisfied en wisht some mo
rafs ud come along en make m rich agin Deys mighty good to me dese niggers
is en whatever I wants m to do fur me I doan have to ast m twice honey
Dat Jacks a good nigger en pooty smart«
»Yes he is He aint ever told me you was here told me to come and hed
show me a lot of watermoccasins If anything happens he aint mixed up in it
He can say he never seen us together and itll be the truth«
I dont want to talk much about the next day I reckon Ill cut it pretty
short I waked up about dawn and was agoing to turn over and go to sleep again
when I noticed how still it was didnt seem to be anybody stirring That
warnt usual Next I noticed that Buck was up and gone Well I gets up a- and
goes down stairs nobody around everything as still as a mouse Just the same
outside thinks I what does it mean Down by the woodpile I comes across my
Jack and says
»Whats it all about«
Says he
»Dont you know Mars Jawge«
»No« says I »I dont«
»Well den Miss Sophias run off deed she has She run off in de night
sometime nobody dont know jis when run off to git married to dat young
Harney Shepherdson you know leastways so dey spec De fambly foun it out
bout half an hour ago maybe a little mo en I tell you dey warnt no time
los Sich another hurryin up guns en hosses you never see De women folks has
gone for to stir up de relations en ole Mars Saul en de boys tuck dey guns en
rode up de river road for to try to ketch dat young man en kill him fo he kin
git acrost de river wid Miss Sophia I reckn deys gwyne to be mighty rough
times«
»Buck went off thout waking me up«
»Well I reckn he did Dey warnt gwyne to mix you up in it Mars Buck he
loaded up his gun en lowed hes gwyne to fetch home a Shepherdson or bust
Well deyll be plenty un m dah I reckn en you bet you hell fetch one ef he
gits a chanst«
I took up the river road as hard as I could put Byandby I begin to hear
guns a good ways off When I come in sight of the log store and the woodpile
where the steamboats lands I worked along under the trees and brush till I got
to a good place and then I clumb up into the forks of a cottonwood that was
out of reach and watched There was a woodrank four foot high a little ways
in front of the tree and first I was going to hide behind that but maybe it
was luckier I didnt
There was four or five men cavorting around on their horses in the open
place before the log store cussing and yelling and trying to get at a couple
of young chaps that was behind the woodrank alongside of the steamboat landing
but they couldnt come it Every time one of them showed himself on the river
side of the woodpile he got shot at The two boys was squatting back to back
behind the pile so they could watch both ways
Byandby the men stopped cavorting around and yelling They started riding
towards the store then up gets one of the boys draws a steady bead over the
woodrank and drops one of them out of his saddle All the men jumped off of
their horses and grabbed the hurt one and started to carry him to the store and
that minute the two boys started on the run They got halfway to the tree I was
in before the men noticed Then the men see them and jumped on their horses and
took out after them They gained on the boys but it didnt do no good the boys
had too good a start they got to the woodpile that was in front of my tree
and slipped in behind it and so they had the bulge on the men again One of the
boys was Buck and the other was a slim young chap about nineteen years old
The men ripped around awhile and then rode away As soon as they was out of
sight I sung out to Buck and told him He didnt know what to make of my voice
coming out of the tree at first He was awful surprised He told me to watch
out sharp and let him know when the men come in sight again said they was up to
some devilment or other wouldnt be gone long I wished I was out of that
tree but I dasnt come down Buck begun to cry and rip and lowed that him and
his cousin Joe that was the other young chap would make up for this day yet
He said his father and his two brothers was killed and two or three of the
enemy Said the Shepherdsons laid for them in ambush Buck said his father and
brothers ought to waited for their relations the Shepherdsons was too strong
for them I asked him what was become of young Harney and Miss Sophia He said
theyd got across the river and was safe I was glad of that but the way Buck
did take on because he didnt manage to kill Harney that day he shot at him I
haint ever heard anything like it
All of a sudden bang bang bang goes three or four guns the men had
slipped around through the woods and come in from behind without their horses
The boys jumped for the river both of them hurt and as they swum down the
current the men run along the bank shooting at them and singing out »Kill them
kill them« It made me so sick I most fell out of the tree I aint agoing to
tell all that happened it would make me sick again if I was to do that I
wished I hadnt ever come ashore that night to see such things I aint ever
going to get shut of them lots of times I dream about them
I staid in the tree till it begun to get dark afraid to come down
Sometimes I heard guns away off in the woods and twice I seen little gangs of
men gallop past the log store with guns so I reckoned the trouble was still
agoing on I was mighty downhearted so I made up my mind I wouldnt ever go
anear that house again because I reckoned I was to blame somehow I judged
that that piece of paper meant that Miss Sophia was to meet Harney somewheres at
halfpast two and run off and I judged I ought to told her father about that
paper and the curious way she acted and then maybe he would a locked her up and
this awful mess wouldnt ever happened
When I got down out of the tree I crept along down the river bank a piece
and found the two bodies laying in the edge of the water and tugged at them
till I got them ashore then I covered up their faces and got away as quick as
I could I cried a little when I was covering up Bucks face for he was mighty
good to me
It was just dark now I never went near the house but struck through the
woods and made for the swamp Jim warnt on his island so I tramped off in a
hurry for the crick and crowded through the willows redhot to jump aboard and
get out of that awful country the raft was gone My souls but I was scared I
couldnt get my breath for most a minute Then I raised a yell A voice not
twentyfive foot from me says
»Good lan is dat you honey Doan make no noise«
It was Jims voice nothing ever sounded so good before I run along the
bank a piece and got aboard and Jim he grabbed me and hugged me he was so glad
to see me He says
»Laws bless you chile I uz right down sho yous dead agin Jacks been
heah he say he reckn yous ben shot kase you didn come home no mo so Is
jes dis minute a startin de raf down towards de mouf er de crick sos to be
all ready for to shove out en leave soon as Jack comes agin en tells me for
certain you is dead Lawsy Is mighty glad to git you back agin honey«
I says
»All right thats mighty good they wont find me and theyll think Ive
been killed and floated down the river theres something up there thatll
help them to think so so dont you lose no time Jim but just shove off for
the big water as fast as ever you can«
I never felt easy till the raft was two mile below there and out in the
middle of the Mississippi Then we hung up our signal lantern and judged that
we was free and safe once more I hadnt had a bite to eat since yesterday so
Jim he got out some corndodgers and buttermilk and pork and cabbage and
greens there aint nothing in the world so good when its cooked right and
whilst I eat my supper we talked and had a good time I was powerful glad to
get away from the feuds and so was Jim to get away from the swamp We said
there warnt no home like a raft after all Other places do seem so cramped up
and smothery but a raft dont You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on
a raft
Chapter XIX
Two or three days and nights went by I reckon I might say they swum by they
slid along so quiet and smooth and lovely Here is the way we put in the time
It was a monstrous big river down there sometimes a mile and a half wide we
run nights and laid up and hid daytimes soon as night was most gone we
stopped navigating and tied up nearly always in the dead water under a
towhead and then cut young cottonwoods and willows and hid the raft with
them Then we set out the lines Next we slid into the river and had a swim so
as to freshen up and cool off then we set down on the sandy bottom where the
water was about knee deep and watched the daylight come Not a sound anywheres
perfectly still just like the whole world was asleep only sometimes the
bullfrogs acluttering maybe The first thing to see looking away over the
water was a kind of dull line that was the woods on tother side you
couldnt make nothing else out then a pale place in the sky then more
paleness spreading around then the river softened up away off and warnt
black any more but gray you could see little dark spots drifting along ever
so far away trading scows and such things and long black streaks rafts
sometimes you could hear a sweep screaking or jumbled up voices it was so
still and sounds come so far and byandby you could see a streak on the water
which you know by the look of the streak that theres a snag there in a swift
current which breaks on it and makes that streak look that way and you see the
mist curl up off of the water and the east reddens up and the river and you
make out a log cabin in the edge of the woods away on the bank on tother side
of the river being a woodyard likely and piled by them cheats so you can
throw a dog through it anywheres then the nice breeze springs up and comes
fanning you from over there so cool and fresh and sweet to smell on account
of the woods and the flowers but sometimes not that way because theyve left
dead fish laying around gars and such and they do get pretty rank and next
youve got the full day and everything smiling in the sun and the songbirds
just going it
A little smoke couldnt be noticed now so we would take some fish off of
the lines and cook up a hot breakfast And afterwards we would watch the
lonesomeness of the river and kind of lazy along and byandby lazy off to
sleep Wake up byandby and look to see what done it and maybe see a
steamboat coughing along up stream so far off towards the other side you
couldnt tell nothing about her only whether she was sternwheel or sidewheel
then for about an hour there wouldnt be nothing to hear nor nothing to see
just solid lonesomeness Next youd see a raft sliding by away off yonder and
maybe a galoot on it chopping because theyre most always doing it on a raft
youd see the ax flash and come down you dont hear nothing you see that ax
go up again and by the time its above the mans head then you hear the
kchunk it had took all that time to come over the water So we would put in
the day lazying around listening to the stillness Once there was a thick fog
and the rafts and things that went by was beating tin pans so the steamboats
wouldnt run over them A scow or a raft went by so close we could hear them
talking and cussing and laughing heard them plain but we couldnt see no sign
of them it made you feel crawly it was like spirits carrying on that way in
the air Jim said he believed it was spirits but I says
»No spirits wouldnt say dern the dern fog«
Soon as it was night out we shoved when we got her out to about the
middle we let her alone and let her float wherever the current wanted her to
then we lit the pipes and dangled our legs in the water and talked about all
kinds of things we was always naked day and night whenever the mosquitoes
would let us the new clothes Bucks folks made for me was too good to be
comfortable and besides I didnt go much on clothes nohow
Sometimes wed have that whole river all to ourselves for the longest time
Yonder was the banks and the islands across the water and maybe a spark
which was a candle in a cabin window and sometimes on the water you could see
a spark or two on a raft or a scow you know and maybe you could hear a
fiddle or a song coming over from one of them crafts Its lovely to live on a
raft We had the sky up there all speckled with stars and we used to lay on
our backs and look up at them and discuss about whether they was made or only
just happened Jim he allowed they was made but I allowed they happened I
judged it would have took too long to make so many Jim said the moon could a
laid them well that looked kind of reasonable so I didnt say nothing against
it because Ive seen a frog lay most as many so of course it could be done We
used to watch the stars that fell too and see them streak down Jim allowed
theyd got spoiled and was hove out of the nest
Once or twice of a night we would see a steamboat slipping along in the
dark and now and then she would belch a whole world of sparks up out of her
chimbleys and they would rain down in the river and look awful pretty then she
would turn a corner and her lights would wink out and her powwow shut off and
leave the river still again and byandby her waves would get to us a long
time after she was gone and joggle the raft a bit and after that you wouldnt
hear nothing for you couldnt tell how long except maybe frogs or something
After midnight the people on shore went to bed and then for two or three
hours the shores was black no more sparks in the cabin windows These sparks
was our clock the first one that showed again meant morning was coming so we
hunted a place to hide and tie up right away
One morning about daybreak I found a canoe and crossed over a chute to the
main shore it was only two hundred yards and paddled about a mile up a crick
amongst the cypress woods to see if I couldnt get some berries Just as I was
passing a place where a kind of a cowpath crossed the crick here comes a
couple of men tearing up the path as tight as they could foot it I thought I
was a goner for whenever anybody was after anybody I judged it was me or
maybe Jim I was about to dig out from there in a hurry but they was pretty
close to me then and sung out and begged me to save their lives said they
hadnt been doing nothing and was being chased for it said there was men and
dogs acoming They wanted to jump right in but I says
»Dont you do it I dont hear the dogs and horses yet youve got time to
crowd through the brush and get up the crick a little ways then you take to the
water and wade down to me and get in thatll throw the dogs off the scent«
They done it and soon as they was aboard I lit out for our towhead and in
about five or ten minutes we heard the dogs and the men away off shouting We
heard them come along towards the crick but couldnt see them they seemed to
stop and fool around a while then as we got further and further away all the
time we couldnt hardly hear them at all by the time we had left a mile of
woods behind us and struck the river everything was quiet and we paddled over
to the towhead and hid in the cottonwoods and was safe
One of these fellows was about seventy or upwards and had a bald head and
very gray whiskers He had an old batteredup slouch hat on and a greasy blue
woolen shirt and ragged old blue jeans britches stuffed into his boot tops and
homeknit galluses no he only had one He had an old longtailed blue jeans
coat with slick brass buttons flung over his arm and both of them had big fat
rattylooking carpetbags
The other fellow was about thirty and dressed about as ornery After
breakfast we all laid off and talked and the first thing that come out was that
these chaps didnt know one another.
»What got you into trouble« says the baldhead to tother chap
»Well Id been selling an article to take the tartar off the teeth and it
does take it off too and generly the enamel along with it but I staid about
one night longer than I ought to and was just in the act of sliding out when I
ran across you on the trail this side of town and you told me they were coming
and begged me to help you to get off So I told you I was expecting trouble
myself and would scatter out with you Thats the whole yarn whats yourn«
»Well Id ben arunnin a little temperance revival thar bout a week and
was the pet of the womenfolks big and little for I was makin it mighty warm
for the rummies I tell you and takin as much as five or six dollars a night
ten cents a head children and niggers free and business a growin all the
time when somehow or another a little report got around last night that I had
a way of puttin in my time with a private jug on the sly A nigger rousted me
out this mornin and told me the people was getherin on the quiet with their
dogs and horses and theyd be along pretty soon and give me bout half an
hours start and then run me down if they could and if they got me theyd tar
and feather me and ride me on a rail sure I didnt wait for no breakfast I
warnt hungry«
»Old man« says the young one »I reckon we might doubleteam it together
what do you think«
»I aint undisposed Whats your line mainly«
»Jour printer by trade do a little in patent medicines theatreactor
tragedy you know take a turn at mesmerism and phrenology when theres a
chance teach singinggeography school for a change sling a lecture sometimes
oh I do lots of things most anything that comes handy so it aint work
Whats your lay«
»Ive done considerble in the doctoring way in my time Layin on o hands
is my best holt for cancer and paralysis and sich things and I kn tell a
fortune pretty good when Ive got somebody along to find out the facts for me
Preachins my line too and workin campmeetins and missionaryin around«
Nobody never said anything for a while then the young man hove a sigh and
says
»Alas«
»Whatre you alassin about« says the baldhead
»To think I should have lived to be leading such a life and be degraded
down into such company« And he begun to wipe the corner of his eye with a rag
»Dern your skin aint the company good enough for you« says the baldhead
pretty pert and uppish
»Yes it is good enough for me its as good as I deserve for who fetched
me so low when I was so high I did myself I dont blame you gentlemen far
from it I dont blame anybody I deserve it all Let the cold world do its
worst one thing I know theres a grave somewhere for me The world may go on
just as its always done and take everything from me loved ones property
everything but it cant take that Some day Ill lie down in it and forget it
all and my poor broken heart will be at rest« He went on awiping
»Drot your pore broken heart« says the baldhead »what are you heaving your
pore broken heart at us fr We haint done nothing«
»No I know you havent I aint blaming you gentlemen I brought myself
down yes I did it myself Its right I should suffer perfectly right I
dont make any moan«
»Brought you down from whar Whar was you brought down from«
»Ah you would not believe me the world never believes let it pass tis
no matter The secret of my birth «
»The secret of your birth Do you mean to say «
»Gentlemen« says the young man very solemn »I will reveal it to you for
I feel I may have confidence in you By rights I am a duke«
Jims eyes bugged out when he heard that and I reckon mine did too Then
the baldhead says »No you cant mean it«
»Yes My greatgrandfather eldest son of the Duke of Bridgewater fled to
this country about the end of the last century to breathe the pure air of
freedom married here and died leaving a son his own father dying about the
same time The second son of the late duke seized the title and estates the
infant real duke was ignored I am the lineal descendant of that infant I am
the rightful Duke of Bridgewater and here am I forlorn torn from my high
estate hunted of men despised by the cold world ragged worn heartbroken
and degraded to the companionship of felons on a raft«
Jim pitied him ever so much and so did I We tried to comfort him but he
said it warnt much use he couldnt be much comforted said if we was a mind to
acknowledge him that would do him more good than most anything else so we said
we would if he would tell us how He said we ought to bow when we spoke to
him and say »Your Grace« or »My Lord« or »Your Lordship« and he wouldnt
mind it if we called him plain »Bridgewater« which he said was a title anyway
and not a name and one of us ought to wait on him at dinner and do any little
thing for him he wanted done
Well that was all easy so we done it All through dinner Jim stood around
and waited on him and says »Will yo Grace have some o dis or some o dat«
and so on and a body could see it was mighty pleasing to him
But the old man got pretty silent byandby didnt have much to say and
didnt look pretty comfortable over all that petting that was going on around
that duke He seemed to have something on his mind So along in the afternoon
he says
»Looky here Bilgewater« he says »Im nation sorry for you but you aint
the only person thats had troubles like that«
»No«
»No you aint You aint the only person thats ben snaked down wrongfully
outn a high place«
»Alas«
»No you aint the only person thats had a secret of his birth« And by
jing he begins to cry
»Hold What do you mean«
»Bilgewater kin I trust you« says the old man still sort of sobbing
»To the bitter death« He took the old man by the hand and squeezed it and
says »The secret of your being speak«
»Bilgewater I am the late Dauphin«
You bet you Jim and me stared this time Then the duke says
»You are what«
»Yes my friend it is too true your eyes is lookin at this very moment
on the pore disappeared Dauphin Looy the Seventeen son of Looy the Sixteen and
Marry Antonette«
»You At your age No You mean youre the late Charlemagne you must be six
or seven hundred years old at the very least«
»Trouble has done it Bilgewater trouble has done it trouble has brung
these gray hairs and this premature balditude Yes gentlemen you see before
you in blue jeans and misery the wanderin exiled trampledon and sufferin
rightful King of France«
Well he cried and took on so that me and Jim didnt know hardly what to
do we was so sorry and so glad and proud wed got him with us too So we set
in like we done before with the duke and tried to comfort him But he said it
warnt no use nothing but to be dead and done with it all could do him any
good though he said it often made him feel easier and better for a while if
people treated him according to his rights and got down on one knee to speak to
him and always called him Your Majesty and waited on him first at meals and
didnt set down in his presence till he asked them So Jim and me set to
majestying him and doing this and that and tother for him and standing up
till he told us we might set down This done him heaps of good and so he got
cheerful and comfortable But the duke kind of soured on him and didnt look a
bit satisfied with the way things was going still the king acted real friendly
towards him and said the dukes greatgrandfather and all the other Dukes of
Bilgewater was a good deal thought of by his father and was allowed to come to
the palace considerable but the duke staid huffy a good while till byandby
the king says
»Like as not we got to be together a blamed long time on this hyer raft
Bilgewater and so whats the use o your bein sour Itll only make things
oncomfortable It aint my fault I warnt born a duke it aint your fault you
warnt born a king so whats the use to worry Make the best o things the way
you find em says I thats my motto This aint no bad thing that weve
struck here plenty grub and an easy life come give us your hand Duke and
less all be friends«
The duke done it and Jim and me was pretty glad to see it It took away all
the uncomfortableness and we felt mighty good over it because it would a been
a miserable business to have any unfriendliness on the raft for what you want
above all things on a raft is for everybody to be satisfied and feel right
and kind towards the others
It didnt take me long to make up my mind that these liars warnt no kings
nor dukes at all but just lowdown humbugs and frauds But I never said
nothing never let on kept it to myself its the best way then you dont have
no quarrels and dont get into no trouble If they wanted us to call them kings
and dukes I hadnt no objections long as it would keep peace in the family
and it warnt no use to tell Jim so I didnt tell him If I never learnt
nothing else out of pap I learnt that the best way to get along with his kind
of people is to let them have their own way
Chapter XX
They asked us considerable many questions wanted to know what we covered up the
raft that way for and laid by in the daytime instead of running was Jim a
runaway nigger Says I
»Goodness sakes would a runaway nigger run south«
No they allowed he wouldnt I had to account for things some way so I
says
»My folks was living in Pike County in Missouri where I was born and they
all died off but me and pa and my brother Ike Pa he lowed hed break up and
go down and live with Uncle Ben whos got a little onehorse place on the
river fortyfour mile below Orleans Pa was pretty poor and had some debts so
when hed squared up there warnt nothing left but sixteen dollars and our
nigger Jim That warnt enough to take us fourteen hundred mile deck passage
nor no other way Well when the river rose pa had a streak of luck one day he
ketched this piece of a raft so we reckoned wed go down to Orleans on it Pas
luck didnt hold out a steamboat run over the forrard corner of the raft one
night and we all went overboard and dove under the wheel Jim and me come up
all right but pa was drunk and Ike was only four years old so they never come
up no more Well for the next day or two we had considerable trouble because
people was always coming out in skiffs and trying to take Jim away from me
saying they believed he was a runaway nigger We dont run daytimes no more
now nights they dont bother us«
The duke says
»Leave me alone to cipher out a way so we can run in the daytime if we want
to Ill think the thing over Ill invent a plan thatll fix it Well let it
alone for today because of course we dont want to go by that town yonder in
daylight it mightnt be healthy«
Towards night it begun to darken up and look like rain the heat lightning
was squirting around low down in the sky and the leaves was beginning to
shiver it was going to be pretty ugly it was easy to see that So the duke
and the king went to overhauling our wigwam to see what the beds was like My
bed was a straw tick better than Jims which was a cornshuck tick theres
always cobs around about in a shuck tick and they poke into you and hurt and
when you roll over the dry shucks sound like you was rolling over in a pile of
dead leaves it makes such a rustling that you wake up Well the duke allowed
he would take my bed but the king allowed he wouldnt He says
»I should a reckoned the difference in rank would a sejested to you that a
cornshuck bed warnt just fitten for me to sleep on Your Gracell take the
shuck bed yourself«
Jim and me was in a sweat again for a minute being afraid there was going
to be some more trouble amongst them so we was pretty glad when the duke says
»Tis my fate to be always ground into the mire under the iron heel of
oppression Misfortune has broken my once haughty spirit I yield I submit
tis my fate I am alone in the world let me suffer I can bear it«
We got away as soon as it was good and dark The king told us to stand well
out towards the middle of the river and not show a light till we got a long
ways below the town We come in sight of the little bunch of lights byandby
that was the town you know and slid by about a half a mile out all right
When we was threequarters of a mile below we hoisted up our signal lantern
and about ten oclock it come on to rain and blow and thunder and lighten like
everything so the king told us to both stay on watch till the weather got
better then him and the duke crawled into the wigwam and turned in for the
night It was my watch below till twelve but I wouldnt a turned in anyway
if Id had a bed because a body dont see such a storm as that every day in the
week not by a long sight My souls how the wind did scream along And every
second or two thered come a glare that lit up the whitecaps for a half a mile
around and youd see the islands looking dusty through the rain and the trees
thrashing around in the wind then comes a hwack bum bum
bumbleumbleumbumbumbumbum and the thunder would go rumbling and
grumbling away and quit and then rip comes another flash and another
sockdolager The waves most washed me off the raft sometimes but I hadnt any
clothes on and didnt mind We didnt have no trouble about snags the
lightning was glaring and flittering around so constant that we could see them
plenty soon enough to throw her head this way or that and miss them
I had the middle watch you know but I was pretty sleepy by that time so
Jim he said he would stand the first half of it for me he was always mighty
good that way Jim was I crawled into the wigwam but the king and the duke
had their legs sprawled around so there warnt no show for me so I laid outside
I didnt mind the rain because it was warm and the waves warnt running so
high now About two they come up again though and Jim was going to call me
but he changed his mind because he reckoned they warnt high enough yet to do
any harm but he was mistaken about that for pretty soon all of a sudden along
comes a regular ripper and washed me overboard It most killed Jim alaughing
He was the easiest nigger to laugh that ever was anyway
I took the watch and Jim he laid down and snored away and byandby the
storm let up for good and all and the first cabinlight that showed I rousted
him out and we slid the raft into hidingquarters for the day
The king got out an old ratty deck of cards after breakfast and him and
the duke played sevenup a while five cents a game Then they got tired of it
and allowed they would lay out a campaign as they called it The duke went down
into his carpetbag and fetched up a lot of little printed bills and read them
out loud One bill said »The celebrated Dr Armand de Montalban of Paris« would
»lecture on the Science of Phrenology« at such and such a place on the blank
day of blank at ten cents admission and »furnish charts of character at
twentyfive cents apiece« The duke said that was him In another bill he was
the »world renowned Shaksperean tragedian Garrick the Younger of Drury Lane
London« In other bills he had a lot of other names and done other wonderful
things like finding water and gold with a divining rod dissipating
witchspells and so on Byandby he says
»But the histrionic muse is the darling Have you ever trod the boards
Royalty«
»No« says the king
»You shall then before youre three days older Fallen Grandeur« says the
duke »The first good town we come to well hire a hall and do the swordfight
in Richard III and the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet How does that strike
you«
»Im in up to the hub for anything that will pay Bilgewater but you see
I dont know nothing about playactn and haint ever seen much of it I was
too small when pap used to have em at the palace Do you reckon you can learn
me«
»Easy«
»All right Im jist afreezn for something fresh anyway Less commence
right away«
So the duke he told him all about who Romeo was and who Juliet was and
said he was used to being Romeo so the king could be Juliet
»But if Juliets such a young gal Duke my peeled head and my white
whiskers is goin to look oncommon odd on her maybe«
»No dont you worry these country jakes wont ever think of that
Besides you know youll be in costume and that makes all the difference in
the world Juliets in a balcony enjoying the moonlight before she goes to bed
and shes got on her nightgown and her ruffled nightcap Here are the costumes
for the parts.«
He got out two or three curtaincalico suits which he said was meedyevil
armor for Richard III and tother chap and a long white cotton nightshirt and
a ruffled nightcap to match The king was satisfied so the duke got out his
book and read the parts over in the most splendid spreadeagle way prancing
around and acting at the same time to show how it had got to be done then he
give the book to the king and told him to get his part by heart
There was a little onehorse town about three mile down the bend and after
dinner the duke said he had ciphered out his idea about how to run in daylight
without it being dangersome for Jim so he allowed he would go down to the town
and fix that thing The king allowed he would go too and see if he couldnt
strike something We was out of coffee so Jim said I better go along with them
in the canoe and get some
When we go there there warnt nobody stirring streets empty and perfectly
dead and still like Sunday We found a sick nigger sunning himself in a back
yard and he said everybody that warnt too young or too sick or too old was
gone to campmeeting about two mile back in the woods The king got the
directions and allowed hed go and work that campmeeting for all it was worth
and I might go too
The duke said what he was after was a printing office We found it a little
bit of a concern up over a carpenter shop carpenters and printers all gone to
the meeting and no doors locked It was a dirty litteredup place and had ink
marks and handbills with pictures of horses and runaway niggers on them all
over the walls The duke shed his coat and said he was all right now So me and
the king lit out for the campmeeting
We got there in about a half an hour fairly dripping for it was a most
awful hot day There was as much as a thousand people there from twenty mile
around The woods was full of teams and wagons hitched everywheres feeding out
of the wagon troughs and stomping to keep off the flies There was sheds made
out of poles and roofed over with branches where they had lemonade and
gingerbread to sell and piles of watermelons and green corn and suchlike
truck
The preaching was going on under the same kinds of sheds only they was
bigger and held crowds of people The benches was made out of outside slabs of
logs with holes bored in the round side to drive sticks into for legs They
didnt have no backs The preachers had high platforms to stand on at one end
of the sheds The women had on sunbonnets and some had linseywoolsey frocks
some gingham ones and a few of the young ones had on calico Some of the young
men was barefooted and some of the children didnt have on any clothes but just
a towlinen shirt Some of the old women was knitting and some of the young
folks was courting on the sly
The first shed we come to the preacher was lining out a hymn He lined out
two lines everybody sung it and it was kind of grand to hear it there was so
many of them and they done it in such a rousing way then he lined out two more
for them to sing and so on The people woke up more and more and sung louder
and louder and towards the end some begun to groan and some begun to shout
Then the preacher begun to preach and begun in earnest too and went weaving
first to one side of the platform and then the other and then a leaning down
over the front of it with his arms and his body going all the time and
shouting his words out with all his might and every now and then he would hold
up his Bible and spread it open and kind of pass it around this way and that
shouting »Its the brazen serpent in the wilderness Look upon it and live«
And people would shout out »Glory Aamen« And so he went on and the
people groaning and crying and saying amen
»Oh come to the mourners bench come black with sin amen come sick
and sore amen come lame and halt and blind amen come pore and needy
sunk in shame aamen come all thats worn and soiled and suffering
come with a broken spirit come with a contrite heart come in your rags and sin
and dirt the waters that cleanse is free the door of heaven stands open oh
enter in and be at rest« aamen glory glory hallelujah
And so on You couldnt make out what the preacher said any more on
account of the shouting and crying Folks got up everywheres in the crowd and
worked their way just by main strength to the mourners bench with the tears
running down their faces and when all the mourners had got up there to the
front benches in a crowd they sung and shouted and flung themselves down on
the straw just crazy and wild
Well the first I knowed the king got agoing and you could hear him over
everybody and next he went acharging up on to the platform and the preacher he
begged him to speak to the people and he done it He told them he was a pirate
been a pirate for thirty years out in the Indian Ocean and his crew was
thinned out considerable last spring in a fight and he was home now to take
out some fresh men and thanks to goodness hed been robbed last night and put
ashore off of a steamboat without a cent and he was glad of it it was the
blessedest thing that ever happened to him because he was a changed man now
and happy for the first time in his life and poor as he was he was going to
start right off and work his way back to the Indian Ocean and put in the rest of
his life trying to turn the pirates into the true path for he could do it
better than anybody else being acquainted with all the pirate crews in that
ocean and though it would take him a long time to get there without money he
would get there anyway and every time he convinced a pirate he would say to
him »Dont you thank me dont you give me no credit it all belongs to them
dear people in Pokeville campmeeting natural brothers and benefactors of the
race and that dear preacher there the truest friend a pirate ever had«
And then he busted into tears and so did everybody Then somebody sings
out »Take up a collection for him take up a collection« Well a half a dozen
made a jump to do it but somebody sings out »Let him pass the hat around«
Then everybody said it the preacher too
So the king went all through the crowd with his hat swabbing his eyes and
blessing the people and praising them and thanking them for being so good to the
poor pirates away off there and every little while the prettiest kind of girls
with the tears running down their cheeks would up and ask him would he let them
kiss him for to remember him by and he always done it and some of them he
hugged and kissed as many as five or six times and he was invited to stay a
week and everybody wanted him to live in their houses and said theyd think it
was an honor but he said as this was the last day of the campmeeting he
couldnt do no good and besides he was in a sweat to get to the Indian Ocean
right off and go to work on the pirates
When we got back to the raft and he come to count up he found he had
collected eightyseven dollars and seventyfive cents And then he had fetched
away a threegallon jug of whisky too that he found under a wagon when we was
starting home through the woods The king said take it all around it laid over
any day hed ever put in in the missionarying line He said it warnt no use
talking heathens dont amount to shucks alongside of pirates to work a
campmeeting with
The duke was thinking hed been doing pretty well till the king come to
show up but after that he didnt think so so much He had set up and printed
off two little jobs for farmers in that printing office horse bills and
took the money four dollars And he had got in ten dollars worth of
advertisements for the paper which he said he would put in for four dollars if
they would pay in advance so they done it The price of the paper was two
dollars a year but he took in three subscriptions for half a dollar apiece on
condition of them paying him in advance they were going to pay in cordwood and
onions as usual but he said he had just bought the concern and knocked down
the price as low as he could afford it and was going to run it for cash He set
up a little piece of poetry which he made himself out of his own head three
verses kind of sweet and saddish the name of it was »Yes crush cold
world this breaking heart« and he left that all set up and ready to print in
the paper and didnt charge nothing for it Well he took in nine dollars and a
half and said hed done a pretty square days work for it
Then he showed us another little job hed printed and hadnt charged for
because it was for us It had a picture of a runaway nigger with a bundle on a
stick over his shoulder and 200 reward under it The reading was all about
Jim and just described him to a dot It said he run away from St Jacques
plantation forty mile below New Orleans last winter and likely went north
and whoever would catch him and send him back he could have the reward and
expenses
»Now« says the duke »after tonight we can run in the daytime if we want
to Whenever we see anybody coming we can tie Jim hand and foot with a rope
and lay him in the wigwam and show this handbill and say we captured him up the
river and were too poor to travel on a steamboat so we got this little raft on
credit from our friends and are going down to get the reward Handcuffs and
chains would look still better on Jim but it wouldnt go well with the story of
us being so poor Too much like jewelry Ropes are the correct thing we must
preserve the unities as we say on the boards«
We all said the duke was pretty smart and there couldnt be no trouble
about running daytimes We judged we could make miles enough that night to get
out of the reach of the powwow we reckoned the dukes work in the printing
office was going to make in that little town then we could boom right along
if we wanted to
We laid low and kept still and never shoved out till nearly ten oclock
then we slid by pretty wide away from the town and didnt hoist our lantern
till we was clear out of sight of it
When Jim called me to take the watch at four in the morning he says
»Huck does you reckn we gwyne to run acrost any mo kings on dis trip«
»No« I says »I reckon not«
»Well« says he »dats all right den I doan mine one er two kings but
dats enough Dis ones powerful drunk en de duke ain much better«
I found Jim had been trying to get him to talk French so he could hear what
it was like but he said he had been in this country so long and had so much
trouble hed forgot it
Chapter XXI
It was after sunup now but we went right on and didnt tie up The king and
the duke turned out byandby looking pretty rusty but after theyd jumped
overboard and took a swim it chippered them up a good deal After breakfast the
king he took a seat on a corner of the raft and pulled off his boots and rolled
up his britches and let his legs dangle in the water so as to be comfortable
and lit his pipe and went to getting his Romeo and Juliet by heart When he had
got it pretty good him and the duke begun to practice it together The duke had
to learn him over and over again how to say every speech and he made him sigh
and put his hand on his heart and after while he said he done it pretty well
»only« he says »you mustnt bellow out Romeo that way like a bull you must
say it soft and sick and languishy so Roomeo that is the idea for
Juliets a dear sweet mere child of a girl you know and she dont bray like a
jackass«
Well next they got out a couple of long swords that the duke made out of
oak laths and begun to practice the swordfight the duke called himself
Richard III and the way they laid on and pranced around the raft was grand to
see But byandby the king tripped and fell overboard and after that they took
a rest and had a talk about all kinds of adventures theyd had in other times
along the river
After dinner the duke says
»Well Capet well want to make this a firstclass show you know so I
guess well add a little more to it We want a little something to answer
encores with anyway«
»Whats onkores Bilgewater«
The duke told him and then says
»Ill answer by doing the Highland fling or the sailors hornpipe and you
well let me see oh Ive got it you can do Hamlets soliloquy«
»Hamlets which«
»Hamlets soliloquy you know the most celebrated thing in Shakespeare Ah
its sublime sublime Always fetches the house I havent got it in the book
Ive only got one volume but I reckon I can piece it out from memory Ill
just walk up and down a minute and see if I can call it back from
recollections vaults«
So he went to marching up and down thinking and frowning horrible every
now and then then he would hoist up his eyebrows next he would squeeze his
hand on his forehead and stagger back and kind of moan next he would sigh and
next hed let on to drop a tear It was beautiful to see him Byandby he got
it He told us to give attention Then he strikes a most noble attitude with
one leg shoved forwards and his arms stretched away up and his head tilted
back looking up at the sky and then he begins to rip and rave and grit his
teeth and after that all through his speech he howled and spread around and
swelled up his chest and just knocked the spots out of any acting ever I see
before This is the speech I learned it easy enough while he was learning it
to the king
To be or not to be that is the bare bodkin
That makes calamity of so long life
For who would fardels bear till Birnam Wood do come to Dunsinane
But that the fear of something after death
Murders the innocent sleep
Great natures second course
And makes us rather sling the arrows of outrageous fortune
Than fly to others that we know not of
Theres the respect must give us pause
Wake Duncan with thy knocking I would thou couldst
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time
The oppressors wrong the proud mans contumely
The laws delay and the quietus which his pangs might take
In the dead waste and middle of the night when churchyards yawn
In customary suits of solemn black
But that the undiscovered country from whose bourne no traveler returns
Breathes forth contagion on the world
And thus the native hue of resolution like the poor cat i the adage
Is sicklied oer with care
And all the clouds that lowered oer our housetops
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action
Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished But soft you the fair Ophelia
Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws
But get thee to a nunnery go
Well the old man he liked that speech and he mighty soon got it so he could do
it first rate It seemed like he was just born for it and when he had his hand
in and was excited it was perfectly lovely the way he would rip and tear and
rair up behind when he was getting it off
The first chance we got the duke he had some show bills printed and after
that for two or three days as we floated along the raft was a most uncommon
lively place for there warnt nothing but swordfighting and rehearsing as
the duke called it going on all the time One morning when we was pretty well
down the State of Arkansaw we come in sight of a little onehorse town in a big
bend so we tied up about threequarters of a mile above it in the mouth of a
crick which was shut in like a tunnel by the cypress trees and all of us but
Jim took the canoe and went down there to see if there was any chance in that
place for our show
We struck it mighty lucky there was going to be a circus there that
afternoon and the country people was already beginning to come in in all kinds
of old shackly wagons and on horses The circus would leave before night so
our show would have a pretty good chance The duke he hired the court house and
we went around and stuck up our bills They read like this
Shaksperean Revival
Wonderful Attraction
For One Night Only
The world renowned tragedians
David Garrick the younger of Drury Lane Theatre London
and
Edmund Kean the elder of the Royal Haymarket Theatre
Whitechapel Pudding Lane Piccadilly London and the
Royal Continental Theatres in their sublime
Shaksperean Spectacle entitled
The Balcony Scene
in
Romeo and Juliet
Romeo Mr Garrick
Juliet Mr Kean
Assisted by the whole strength of the company
New costumes new scenery new appointments
Also
The thrilling masterly and bloodcurdling
Broadsword conflict
In Richard III
Richard III Mr Garrick
Richmond Mr Kean
also
by special request
Hamlets Immortal Soliloquy
By the Illustrious Kean
Done by him 300 consecutive nights in Paris
For One Night Only
On account of imperative European engagements
Admission 25 cents children and servants 10 cents
Then we went loafing around the town The stores and houses was most all old
shackly driedup frame concerns that hadnt ever been painted they was set up
three or four foot above ground on stilts so as to be out of reach of the water
when the river was overflowed The houses had little gardens around them but
they didnt seem to raise hardly anything in them but jimpson weeds and
sunflowers and ashpiles and old curledup boots and shoes and pieces of
bottles and rags and playedout tinware The fences was made of different
kinds of boards nailed on at different times and they leaned every whichway
and had gates that didnt generly have but one hinge a leather one Some of
the fences had been whitewashed some time or another but the duke said it was
in Clumbuss time like enough There was generly hogs in the garden and people
driving them out
All the stores was along one street They had whitedomestic awnings in
front and the country people hitched their horses to the awningposts There
was empty drygoods boxes under the awnings and loafers roosting on them all
day long whittling them with their Barlow knives and chawing tobacco and
gaping and yawning and stretching a mighty ornery lot They generly had on
yellow straw hats most as wide as an umbrella but didnt wear no coats nor
waistcoats they called one another Bill and Buck and Hank and Joe and Andy
and talked lazy and drawly and used considerable many cusswords There was as
many as one loafer leaning up against every awningpost and he most always had
his hands in his britches pockets except when he fetched them out to lend a
chaw of tobacco or scratch What a body was hearing amongst them all the time
was
»Gimme a chaw v tobacker Hank«
»Caint I haint got but one chaw left Ask Bill«
Maybe Bill he gives him a chaw maybe he lies and says he aint got none
Some of them kinds of loafers never has a cent in the world nor a chaw of
tobacco of their own They get all their chawing by borrowing they say to a
fellow »I wisht youd len me a chaw Jack I jist this minute give Ben
Thompson the last chaw I had« which is a lie pretty much every time it dont
fool nobody but a stranger but Jack aint no stranger so he says
»You give him a chaw did you so did your sisters cats grandmother You
pay me back the chaws youve awready borryd offn me Lafe Buckner then Ill
loan you one or two ton of it and wont charge you no back intrust nuther«
»Well I did pay you back some of it wunst«
»Yes you did bout six chaws You borryd store tobacker and paid back
niggerhead«
Store tobacco is flat black plug but these fellows mostly chaws the natural
leaf twisted When they borrow a chaw they dont generly cut it off with a
knife but they set the plug in between their teeth and gnaw with their teeth
and tug at the plug with their hands till they get it in two then sometimes
the one that owns the tobacco looks mournful at it when its handed back and
says sarcastic
»Here gimme the chaw and you take the plug«
All the streets and lanes was just mud they warnt nothing else but mud
mud as black as tar and nigh about a foot deep in some places and two or three
inches deep in all the places The hogs loafed and grunted around everywheres
Youd see a muddy sow and a litter of pigs come lazying along the street and
whollop herself right down in the way where folks had to walk around her and
shed stretch out and shut her eyes and wave her ears whilst the pigs was
milking her and look as happy as if she was on salary And pretty soon youd
hear a loafer sing out »Hi so boy sick him Tige« and away the sow would go
squealing most horrible with a dog or two swinging to each ear and three or
four dozen more acoming and then you would see all the loafers get up and
watch the thing out of sight and laugh at the fun and look grateful for the
noise Then theyd settle back again till there was a dogfight There couldnt
anything wake them up all over and make them happy all over like a dogfight
unless it might be putting turpentine on a stray dog and setting fire to him or
tying a tin pan to his tail and see him run himself to death
On the river front some of the houses was sticking out over the bank and
they was bowed and bent and about ready to tumble in The people had moved out
of them The bank was caved away under one corner of some others and that
corner was hanging over People lived in them yet but it was dangersome
because sometimes a strip of land as wide as a house caves in at a time
Sometimes a belt of land a quarter of a mile deep will start in and cave along
and cave along till it all caves into the river in one summer Such a town as
that has to be always moving back and back and back because the rivers
always gnawing at it
The nearer it got to noon that day the thicker and thicker was the wagons
and horses in the streets and more coming all the time Families fetched their
dinners with them from the country and eat them in the wagons There was
considerable whiskey drinking going on and I seen three fights Byandby
somebody sings out
»Here comes old Boggs in from the country for his little old monthly
drunk here he comes boys«
All the loafers looked glad I reckoned they was used to having fun out of
Boggs One of them says
»Wonder who hes a gwyne to chaw up this time If hed a chawed up all the
men hes ben a gwyne to chaw up in the last twenty year hed have a considerble
ruputation now«
Another one says »I wisht old Boggs d threaten me cuz then Id know I
warnt gwyne to die for a thousan year«
Boggs comes atearing along on his horse whooping and yelling like an
Injun and singing out
»Cler the track thar Im on the wawpath and the price uv coffins is a
gwyne to raise«
He was drunk and weaving about in his saddle he was over fifty year old
and had a very red face Everybody yelled at him and laughed at him and sassed
him and he sassed back and said hed attend to them and lay them out in their
regular turns but he couldnt wait now because hed come to town to kill old
Colonel Sherburn and his motto was »meat first and spoon vittles to top off
on«
He see me and rode up and says
»Whard you come fm boy You prepared to die«
Then he rode on I was scared but a man says
»He dont mean nothing hes always a carryin on like that when hes
drunk Hes the bestnaturedest old fool in Arkansaw never hurt nobody drunk
nor sober«
Boggs rode up before the biggest store in town and bent his head down so he
could see under the curtain of the awning and yells
»Come out here Sherburn Come out and meet the man youve swindled Youre
the houn Im after and Im a gwyne to have you too«
And so he went on calling Sherburn everything he could lay his tongue to
and the whole street packed with people listening and laughing and going on
Byandby a proudlooking man about fiftyfive and he was a heap the best
dressed man in that town too steps out of the store and the crowd drops back
on each side to let him come He says to Boggs mighty cam and slow he says
»Im tired of this but Ill endure it till one oclock Till one oclock
mind no longer If you open your mouth against me only once after that time
you cant travel so far but I will find you«
Then he turns and goes in The crowd looked mighty sober nobody stirred
and there warnt no more laughing Boggs rode off blackguarding Sherburn as loud
as he could yell all down the street and pretty soon back he comes and stops
before the store still keeping it up Some men crowded around him and tried to
get him to shut up but he wouldnt they told him it would be one oclock in
about fifteen minutes and so he must go home he must go right away But it
didnt do no good He cussed away with all his might and throwed his hat down
in the mud and rode over it and pretty soon away he went araging down the
street again with his gray hair aflying Everybody that could get a chance at
him tried their best to coax him off of his horse so they could lock him up and
get him sober but it warnt no use up the street he would tear again and
give Sherburn another cussing Byandby somebody says
»Go for his daughter quick go for his daughter sometimes hell listen
to her If anybody can persuade him she can«
So somebody started on a run I walked down street a ways and stopped In
about five or ten minutes here comes Boggs again but not on his horse He was
areeling across the street towards me bareheaded with a friend on both sides
of him aholt of his arms and hurrying him along He was quiet and looked
uneasy and he warnt hanging back any but was doing some of the hurrying
himself Somebody sings out
»Boggs«
I looked over there to see who said it and it was that Colonel Sherburn He
was standing perfectly still in the street and had a pistol raised in his
right hand not aiming it but holding it out with the barrel tilted up towards
the sky The same second I see a young girl coming on the run and two men with
her Boggs and the men turned round to see who called him and when they see
the pistol the men jumped to one side and the pistol barrel come down slow and
steady to a level both barrels cocked Boggs throws up both of his hands and
says »O Lord dont shoot« Bang goes the first shot and he staggers back
clawing at the air bang goes the second one and he tumbles backwards onto
the ground heavy and solid with his arms spread out That young girl screamed
out and comes rushing and down she throws herself on her father crying and
saying »Oh hes killed him hes killed him« The crowd closed up around them
and shouldered and jammed one another, with their necks stretched trying to
see and people on the inside trying to shove them back and shouting »Back
back give him air give him air«
Colonel Sherburn he tossed his pistol onto the ground and turned around on
his heels and walked off
They took Boggs to a little drug store the crowd pressing around just the
same and the whole town following and I rushed and got a good place at the
window where I was close to him and could see in They laid him on the floor
and put one large Bible under his head and opened another one and spread it on
his breast but they tore open his shirt first and I seen where one of the
bullets went in He made about a dozen long gasps his breast lifting the Bible
up when he drawed in his breath and letting it down again when he breathed it
out and after that he laid still he was dead Then they pulled his daughter
away from him screaming and crying and took her off She was about sixteen
and very sweet and gentlelooking but awful pale and scared
Well pretty soon the whole town was there squirming and scrouging and
pushing and shoving to get at the window and have a look but people that had
the places wouldnt give them up and folks behind them was saying all the time
»Say now youve looked enough you fellows taint right and taint fair for
you to stay thar all the time and never give nobody a chance other folks has
their rights as well as you«
There was considerable jawing back so I slid out thinking maybe there was
going to be trouble The streets was full and everybody was excited Everybody
that seen the shooting was telling how it happened and there was a big crowd
packed around each one of these fellows stretching their necks and listening
One long lanky man with long hair and a big white fur stovepipe hat on the
back of his head and a crookedhandled cane marked out the places on the
ground where Boggs stood and where Sherburn stood and the people following him
around from one place to tother and watching everything he done and bobbing
their heads to show they understood and stooping a little and resting their
hands on their thighs to watch him mark the places on the ground with his cane
and then he stood up straight and stiff where Sherburn had stood frowning and
having his hatbrim down over his eyes and sung out »Boggs« and then fetched
his cane down slow to a level and says »Bang« staggered backwards says
»Bang« again and fell down flat on his back The people that had seen the
thing said he done it perfect said it was just exactly the way it all happened
Then as much as a dozen people got out their bottles and treated him
Well byandby somebody said Sherburn ought to be lynched In about a
minute everybody was saying it so away they went mad and yelling and
snatching down every clothesline they come to to do the hanging with
Chapter XXII
They swarmed up the street towards Sherburns house awhooping and yelling and
raging like Injuns and everything had to clear the way or get run over and
tromped to mush and it was awful to see Children was heeling it ahead of the
mob screaming and trying to get out of the way and every window along the road
was full of womens heads and there was nigger boys in every tree and bucks
and wenches looking over every fence and as soon as the mob would get nearly to
them they would break and skaddle back out of reach Lots of the women and girls
was crying and taking on scared most to death
They swarmed up in front of Sherburns palings as thick as they could jam
together and you couldnt hear yourself think for the noise It was a little
twentyfoot yard Some sung out »Tear down the fence tear down the fence« Then
there was a racket of ripping and tearing and smashing and down she goes and
the front wall of the crowd begins to roll in like a wave
Just then Sherburn steps out on to the roof of his little front porch with
a doublebarrel gun in his hand and takes his stand perfectly cam and
deliberate not saying a word The racket stopped and the wave sucked back
Sherburn never said a word just stood there looking down The stillness
was awful creepy and uncomfortable Sherburn run his eye slow along the crowd
and wherever it struck the people tried a little to outgaze him but they
couldnt they dropped their eyes and looked sneaky Then pretty soon Sherburn
sort of laughed not the pleasant kind but the kind that makes you feel like
when you are eating bread thats got sand in it
Then he says slow and scornful
»The idea of you lynching anybody Its amusing The idea of you thinking
you had pluck enough to lynch a man Because youre brave enough to tar and
feather poor friendless castout women that come along here did that make you
think you had grit enough to lay your hands on a man Why a mans safe in the
hands of ten thousand of your kind as long as its daytime and youre not
behind him
Do I know you I know you clear through I was born and raised in the South
and Ive lived in the North so I know the average all around The average mans
a coward In the North he lets anybody walk over him that wants to and goes
home and prays for a humble spirit to bear it In the South one man all by
himself has stopped a stage full of men in the daytime and robbed the lot
Your newspapers call you a brave people so much that you think you are braver
than any other people whereas youre just as brave and no braver Why dont
your juries hang murderers Because theyre afraid the mans friends will shoot
them in the back in the dark and its just what they would do
So they always acquit and then a man goes in the night with a hundred
masked cowards at his back and lynches the rascal Your mistake is that you
didnt bring a man with you thats one mistake and the other is that you
didnt come in the dark and fetch your masks You brought part of a man Buck
Harkness there and if you hadnt had him to start you youd a taken it out
in blowing
You didnt want to come The average man dont like trouble and danger You
dont like trouble and danger But if only half a man like Buck Harkness
there shouts Lynch him lynch him youre afraid to back down afraid youll
be found out to be what you are cowards and so you raise a yell and hang
yourselves onto that halfamans coat tail and come raging up here swearing
what big things youre going to do The pitifulest thing out is a mob thats
what an army is a mob they dont fight with courage thats born in them but
with courage thats borrowed from their mass and from their officers But a mob
without any man at the head of it is beneath pitifulness Now the thing for you
to do is to droop your tails and go home and crawl in a hole If any real
lynchings going to be done it will be done in the dark Southern fashion and
when they come theyll bring their masks and fetch a man along Now leave and
take your halfaman with you« tossing his gun up across his left arm and
cocking it when he says this
The crowd washed back sudden and then broke all apart and went tearing off
every which way and Buck Harkness he heeled it after them looking tolerable
cheap I could a staid if Id a wanted to but I didnt want to
I went to the circus and loafed around the back side till the watchman went
by and then dived in under the tent I had my twentydollar gold piece and some
other money but I reckoned I better save it because there aint no telling how
soon you are going to need it away from home and amongst strangers that way
You cant be too careful I aint opposed to spending money on circuses when
there aint no other way but there aint no use in wasting it on them
It was a real bully circus It was the splendidest sight that ever was when
they all come riding in two and two a gentleman and lady side by side the
men just in their drawers and undershirts and no shoes nor stirrups and
resting their hands on their thighs easy and comfortable there must a been
twenty of them and every lady with a lovely complexion and perfectly
beautiful and looking just like a gang of real sureenough queens and dressed
in clothes that cost millions of dollars and just littered with diamonds It
was a powerful fine sight I never see anything so lovely And then one by one
they got up and stood and went aweaving around the ring so gentle and wavy and
graceful the men looking ever so tall and airy and straight with their heads
bobbing and skimming along away up there under the tentroof and every ladys
roseleafy dress flapping soft and silky around her hips and she looking like
the most loveliest parasol
And then faster and faster they went all of them dancing first one foot
stuck out in the air and then the other the horses leaning more and more and
the ringmaster going round and round the centrepole cracking his whip and
shouting »hi hi« and the clown cracking jokes behind him and byandby all
hands dropped the reins and every lady put her knuckles on her hips and every
gentleman folded his arms and then how the horses did lean over and hump
themselves And so one after the other they all skipped off into the ring and
made the sweetest bow I ever see and then scampered out and everybody clapped
their hands and went just about wild
Well all through the circus they done the most astonishing things and all
the time that clown carried on so it most killed the people The ringmaster
couldnt ever say a word to him but he was back at him quick as a wink with the
funniest things a body ever said and how he ever could think of so many of
them and so sudden and so pat was what I couldnt noway understand Why I
couldnt a thought of them in a year And byandby a drunk man tried to get
into the ring said he wanted to ride said he could ride as well as anybody
that ever was They argued and tried to keep him out but he wouldnt listen
and the whole show come to a standstill Then the people begun to holler at him
and make fun of him and that made him mad and he begun to rip and tear so
that stirred up the people and a lot of men begun to pile down off of the
benches and swarm towards the ring saying »Knock him down throw him out« and
one or two women begun to scream So then the ringmaster he made a little
speech and said he hoped there wouldnt be no disturbance and if the man would
promise he wouldnt make no more trouble he would let him ride if he thought
he could stay on the horse So everybody laughed and said all right and the man
got on The minute he was on the horse begun to rip and tear and jump and
cavort around with two circus men hanging onto his bridle trying to hold him
and the drunk man hanging onto his neck and his heels flying in the air every
jump and the whole crowd of people standing up shouting and laughing till the
tears rolled down And at last sure enough all the circus men could do the
horse broke loose and away he went like the very nation round and round the
ring with that sot laying down on him and hanging to his neck with first one
leg hanging most to the ground on one side and then tother one on tother
side and the people just crazy It warnt funny to me though I was all of a
tremble to see his danger But pretty soon he struggled up astraddle and grabbed
the bridle areeling this way and that and the next minute he sprung up and
dropped the bridle and stood and the horse agoing like a house afire too He
just stood up there asailing around as easy and comfortable as if he warnt
ever drunk in his life and then he begun to pull off his clothes and sling
them He shed them so thick they kind of clogged up the air and altogether he
shed seventeen suits And then there he was slim and handsome and dressed the
gaudiest and prettiest you ever saw and he lit into that horse with his whip
and made him fairly hum and finally skipped off and made his bow and danced
off to the dressingroom and everybody just ahowling with pleasure and
astonishment
Then the ringmaster he see how he had been fooled and he was the sickest
ringmaster you ever see I reckon Why it was one of his own men He had got
up that joke all out of his own head and never let on to nobody Well I felt
sheepish enough to be took in so but I wouldnt a been in that ringmasters
place not for a thousand dollars I dont know there may be bullier circuses
than what that one was but I never struck them yet Anyways it was plenty good
enough for me and wherever I run across it it can have all of my custom every
time
Well that night we had our show but there warnt only about twelve people
there just enough to pay expenses And they laughed all the time and that made
the duke mad and everybody left anyway before the show was over but one boy
which was asleep So the duke said these Arkansaw lunkheads couldnt come up to
Shakspeare what they wanted was low comedy and may be something ruther worse
than low comedy he reckoned He said he could size their style So next morning
he got some big sheets of wrappingpaper and some black paint and drawed off
some handbills and stuck them up all over the village The bills said
AT THE COURT HOUSE
FOR 3 NIGHTS ONLY
The WorldRenowned Tragedians
DAVID GARRICK THE YOUNGER
AND
EDMUND KEAN THE ELDER
Of the London and Continental Theatres
In their Thrilling Tragedy of
THE KINGS CAMELOPARD
OR
THE ROYAL NONESUCH
Admission 50 cents
Then at the bottom was the biggest line of all which said
LADIES AND CHILDREN NOT ADMITTED
»There« says he »if that line dont fetch them I dont know Arkansaw«
Chapter XXIII
Well all day him and the king was hard at it rigging up a stage and a
curtain and a row of candles for footlights and that night the house was jam
full of men in no time When the place couldnt hold no more the duke he quit
tending door and went around the back way and come onto the stage and stood up
before the curtain and made a little speech and praised up this tragedy and
said it was the most thrillingest one that ever was and so he went on
abragging about the tragedy and about Edmund Kean the Elder which was to play
the main principal part in it and at last when hed got everybodys
expectations up high enough he rolled up the curtain and the next minute the
king come aprancing out on all fours naked and he was painted all over
ringstreakedandstriped all sorts of colors as splendid as a rainbow And
but never mind the rest of his outfit it was just wild but it was awful funny
The people most killed themselves laughing and when the king got done capering
and capered off behind the scenes they roared and clapped and stormed and
hawhawed till he come back and done it over again and after that they made
him do it another time Well it would a made a cow laugh to see the shines that
old idiot cut
Then the duke he lets the curtain down and bows to the people and says the
great tragedy will be performed only two nights more on accounts of pressing
London engagements where the seats is all sold already for it in Drury Lane
and then he makes them another bow and says if he has succeeded in pleasing
them and instructing them he will be deeply obleeged if they will mention it to
their friends and get them to come and see it
Twenty people sings out
»What is it over Is that all«
The duke says yes Then there was a fine time Everybody sings out sold and
rose up mad and was agoing for that stage and them tragedians But a big
finelooking man jumps up on a bench and shouts
»Hold on Just a word gentlemen« They stopped to listen »We are sold
mighty badly sold But we dont want to be the laughingstock of this whole
town I reckon and never hear the last of this thing as long as we live No
What we want is to go out of here quiet and talk this show up and sell the
rest of the town Then well all be in the same boat Aint that sensible«
»You bet it is the jedge is right« everybody sings out »All right then
not a word about any sell Go along home and advise everybody to come and see
the tragedy«
Next day you couldnt hear nothing around that town but how splendid that
show was House was jammed again that night and we sold this crowd the same
way When me and the king and the duke got home to the raft we all had a
supper and byandby about midnight they made Jim and me back her out and
float her down the middle of the river and fetch her in and hide her about two
mile below town
The third night the house was crammed again and they warnt newcomers
this time but people that was at the show the other two nights I stood by the
duke at the door and I see that every man that went in had his pockets bulging
or something muffled up under his coat and I see it warnt no perfumery
neither not by a long sight I smelt sickly eggs by the barrel and rotten
cabbages and such things and if I know the signs of a dead cat being around
and I bet I do there was sixtyfour of them went in I shoved in there for a
minute but it was too various for me I couldnt stand it Well when the place
couldnt hold no more people the duke he give a fellow a quarter and told him
to tend door for him a minute and then he started around for the stage door I
after him but the minute we turned the corner and was in the dark he says
»Walk fast now till you get away from the houses and then shin for the
raft like the dickens was after you«
I done it and he done the same We struck the raft at the same time and in
less than two seconds we was gliding down stream all dark and still and edging
towards the middle of the river nobody saying a word I reckoned the poor king
was in for a gaudy time of it with the audience but nothing of the sort pretty
soon he crawls out from under the wigwam and says
»Well howd the old thing pan out this time Duke«
He hadnt been up town at all
We never showed a light till we was about ten mile below that village Then
we lit up and had a supper and the king and the duke fairly laughed their bones
loose over the way theyd served them people The duke says
»Greenhorns flatheads I knew the first house would keep mum and let the
rest of the town get roped in and I knew theyd lay for us the third night and
consider it was their turn now Well it is their turn and Id give something
to know how much theyd take for it I would just like to know how theyre
putting in their opportunity They can turn it into a picnic if they want to
they brought plenty provisions«
Them rapscallions took in four hundred and sixty dollars in that three
nights I never see money hauled in by the wagonload like that before
Byandby when they was asleep and snoring Jim says
»Dont it sprise you de way dem kings carries on Huck«
»No« I says »it dont«
»Why dont it Huck«
»Well it dont because its in the breed I reckon theyre all alike«
»But Huck dese kings o ourn is regular rapscallions dats jist what dey
is deys reglar rapscallions«
»Well thats what Im asaying all kings is mostly rapscallions as fur as
I can make out«
»Is dat so«
»You read about them once youll see Look at Henry the Eight thisn s a
SundaySchool Superintendent to him And look at Charles Second and Louis
Fourteen and Louis Fifteen and James Second and Edward Second and Richard
Third and forty more besides all them Saxon heptarchies that used to rip
around so in old times and raise Cain My you ought to seen old Henry the Eight
when he was in bloom He was a blossom He used to marry a new wife every day
and chop off her head next morning And he would do it just as indifferent as if
he was ordering up eggs Fetch up Nell Gwynn he says They fetch her up Next
morning Chop off her head And they chop it off Fetch up Jane Shore he says
and up she comes Next morning Chop off her head and they chop it off Ring up
Fair Rosamun Fair Rosamun answers the bell Next morning Chop off her head
And he made every one of them tell him a tale every night and he kept that up
till he had hogged a thousand and one tales that way and then he put them all
in a book and called it Domesday Book which was a good name and stated the
case You dont know kings Jim but I know them and this old rip of ourn is
one of the cleanest Ive struck in history Well Henry he takes a notion he
wants to get up some trouble with this country How does he go at it give
notice give the country a show No All of a sudden he heaves all the tea in
Boston Harbor overboard and whacks out a declaration of independence and dares
them to come on That was his style he never give anybody a chance He had
suspicions of his father the Duke of Wellington Well what did he do ask
him to show up No drownded him in a butt of mamsey like a cat Spose people
left money laying around where he was what did he do He collared it Spose he
contracted to do a thing and you paid him and didnt set down there and see
that he done it what did he do He always done the other thing Spose he
opened his mouth what then If he didnt shut it up powerful quick hed lose
a lie every time Thats the kind of a bug Henry was and if wed a had him
along stead of our kings hed a fooled that town a heap worse than ourn done
I dont say that ourn is lambs because they aint when you come right down to
the cold facts but they aint nothing to that old ram anyway All I say is
kings is kings and you got to make allowances Take them all around theyre a
mighty ornery lot Its the way theyre raised«
»But dis one do smell so like de nation Huck«
»Well they all do Jim We cant help the way a king smells history dont
tell no way«
»Now de duke hes a tolerble likely man in some ways«
»Yes a dukes different But not very different This ones a middling hard
lot for a duke When hes drunk there aint no nearsighted man could tell him
from a king«
»Well anyways I doan hanker for no mo un um Huck Dese is all I kin
stan«
»Its the way I feel too Jim But weve got them on our hands and we got
to remember what they are and make allowances Sometimes I wish we could hear
of a country thats out of kings«
What was the use to tell Jim these warnt real kings and dukes It wouldnt
a done no good and besides it was just as I said you couldnt tell them from
the real kind
I went to sleep and Jim didnt call me when it was my turn He often done
that When I waked up just at daybreak he was setting there with his head
down betwixt his knees moaning and mourning to himself I didnt take notice
nor let on I knowed what it was about He was thinking about his wife and his
children away up yonder and he was low and homesick because he hadnt ever
been away from home before in his life and I do believe he cared just as much
for his people as white folks does for theirn It dont seem natural but I
reckon its so He was often moaning and mourning that way nights when he
judged I was asleep and saying »Po little Lizabeth po little Johnny Its
mighty hard I spec I aint ever gwyne to see you no mo no mo« He was a
mighty good nigger Jim was
But this time I somehow got to talking to him about his wife and young ones
and byandby he says
»What makes me feel so bad dis time uz bekase I hear sumpn over yonder on
de bank like a whack er a slam while ago en it mine me er de time I treat my
little Lizabeth so ornery She warnt ony bout fo year ole en she tuck de
skyarletfever en had a powful rough spell but she got well en one day she
was astannin aroun en I says to her I says
Shet de do
She never done it jis stood dah kiner smilin up at me It make me mad
en I says agin mighty loud I says
Doan you hear me shet de do
She jis stood de same way kiner smilin up I was abilin I says
I lay I make you mine
En wid dat I fetch her a slap side de head dat sont her asprawlin Den I
went into de yuther room en uz gone bout ten minutes en when I come back
dah was dat do astannin open yit en dat chile stannin mos right in it
alookin down and mournin en de tears runnin down My but I wuz mad I was
agwyne for de chile but jis den it was a do dat open innerds jis den
long come de wind en slam it to behine de chile kerblam en my lan de
chile never move My breff mos hop outer me en I feel so so I doan know
how I feel I crope out all atremblin en crope aroun en open de do easy en
slow en poke my head in behine de chile sof en still en all uv a sudden I
says pow jis as loud as I could yell She never budge Oh Huck I bust out
acryin en grab her up in my arms en say Oh de po little thing de Lord God
Amighty fogive po ole Jim kaze he never gwyne to fogive hisself as longs he
live Oh she was plumb deef en dumb Huck plumb deef en dumb en Id ben
atreatn her so«
Chapter XXIV
Next day towards night we laid up under a little willow towhead out in the
middle where there was a village on each side of the river and the duke and
the king begun to lay out a plan for working them towns Jim he spoke to the
duke and said he hoped it wouldnt take but a few hours because it got mighty
heavy and tiresome to him when he had to lay all day in the wigwam tied with the
rope You see when we left him all alone we had to tie him because if anybody
happened on him all by himself and not tied it wouldnt look much like he was a
runaway nigger you know So the duke said it was kind of hard to have to lay
roped all day and hed cipher out some way to get around it
He was uncommon bright the duke was and he soon struck it He dressed Jim
up in King Lears outfit it was a long curtaincalico gown and a white
horsehair wig and whiskers and then he took his theatrepaint and painted
Jims face and hands and ears and neck all over a dead dull solid blue like a
man thats been drownded nine days Blamed if he warnt the horriblest looking
outrage I ever see Then the duke took and wrote out a sign on a shingle so
Sick Arab but harmless when not out of his head
And he nailed that shingle to a lath and stood the lath up four or five
foot in front of the wigwam Jim was satisfied He said it was a sight better
than laying tied a couple of years every day and trembling all over every time
there was a sound The duke told him to make himself free and easy and if
anybody ever come meddling around he must hop out of the wigwam and carry on a
little and fetch a howl or two like a wild beast and he reckoned they would
light out and leave him alone Which was sound enough judgment but you take the
average man and he wouldnt wait for him to howl Why he didnt only look like
he was dead he looked considerable more than that
These rapscallions wanted to try the Nonesuch again because there was so
much money in it but they judged it wouldnt be safe because maybe the news
might a worked along down by this time They couldnt hit no project that
suited exactly so at last the duke said he reckoned hed lay off and work his
brains an hour or two and see if he couldnt put up something on the Arkansaw
village and the king he allowed he would drop over to tother village without
any plan but just trust in Providence to lead him the profitable way meaning
the devil I reckon We had all bought store clothes where we stopped last and
now the king put hisn on and he told me to put mine on I done it of course
The kings duds was all black and he did look real swell and starchy I never
knowed how clothes could change a body before Why before he looked like the
orneriest old rip that ever was but now when hed take off his new white
beaver and make a bow and do a smile he looked that grand and good and pious
that youd say he had walked right out of the ark and maybe was old Leviticus
himself Jim cleaned up the canoe and I got my paddle ready There was a big
steamboat laying at the shore away up under the point about three mile above
town been there a couple of hours taking on freight Says the king
»Seein how Im dressed I reckon maybe I better arrive down from St Louis
or Cincinnati or some other big place Go for the steamboat Huckleberry well
come down to the village on her«
I didnt have to be ordered twice to go and take a steamboat ride I
fetched the shore a half a mile above the village and then went scooting along
the bluff bank in the easy water Pretty soon we come to a nice innocentlooking
young country jake setting on a log swabbing the sweat off of his face for it
was powerful warm weather and he had a couple of big carpetbags by him
»Run her nose in shore« says the king I done it »Wher you bound for
young man«
»For the steamboat going to Orleans«
»Git aboard« says the king »Hold on a minute my servant ll hep you with
them bags Jump out and hep the gentleman Adolphus« meaning me I see
I done so and then we all three started on again The young chap was mighty
thankful said it was tough work toting his baggage such weather He asked the
king where he was going and the king told him hed come down the river and
landed at the other village this morning and now he was going up a few mile to
see an old friend on a farm up there The young fellow says
»When I first see you I says to myself Its Mr Wilks sure and he come
mighty near getting here in time But then I says again No I reckon it aint
him or else he wouldnt be paddling up the river You aint him are you«
»No my names Blodgett Elexander Blodgett Reverend Elexander Blodgett
I spose I must say as Im one o the Lords poor servants But still Im jist
as able to be sorry for Mr Wilks for not arriving in time all the same if
hes missed anything by it which I hope he hasnt«
»Well he dont miss any property by it because hell get that all right
but hes missed seeing his brother Peter die which he maynt mind nobody can
tell as to that but his brother would a give anything in this world to see him
before he died never talked about nothing else all these three weeks hadnt
seen him since they was boys together and hadnt ever seen his brother William
at all thats the deef and dumb one William aint more than thirty or
thirtyfive Peter and George was the only ones that come out here George was
the married brother him and his wife both died last year Harvey and Williams
the only ones thats left now and as I was saying they havent got here in
time«
»Did anybody send em word«
»Oh yes a month or two ago when Peter was first took because Peter said
then that he sorter felt like he warnt going to get well this time You see he
was pretty old and Georges gyirls was too young to be much company for him
except Mary Jane the redheaded one and so he was kinder lonesome after George
and his wife died and didnt seem to care much to live He most desperately
wanted to see Harvey and William too for that matter because he was one of
them kind that cant bear to make a will He left a letter behind for Harvey
and said hed told in it where his money was hid and how he wanted the rest of
the property divided up so Georges gyirls would be all right for George
didnt leave nothing And that letter was all they could get him to put a pen
to«
»Why do you reckon Harvey dont come Wher does he live«
»Oh he lives in England Sheffield preaches there hasnt ever been in
this country He hasnt had any too much time and besides he mightnt a got
the letter at all you know«
»Too bad too bad he couldnt a lived to see his brothers poor soul You
going to Orleans you say«
»Yes but that aint only a part of it Im going in a ship next Wednesday
for Ryo Janeero where my uncle lives«
»Its a pretty long journey But itll be lovely I wisht I was agoing Is
Mary Jane the oldest How old is the others«
»Mary Janes nineteen Susans fifteen and Joannas about fourteen thats
the one that gives herself to good works and has a harelip«
»Poor things to be left alone in the cold world so«
»Well they could be worse off Old Peter had friends and they aint going
to let them come to no harm Theres Hobson the Babtis preacher and Deacon
Lot Hovey and Ben Rucker and Abner Shackleford and Levi Bell the lawyer and
Dr Robinson and their wives and the widow Bartley and well theres a lot
of them but these are the ones that Peter was thickest with and used to write
about sometimes when he wrote home so Harvey ll know where to look for
friends when he gets here«
Well the old man he went on asking questions till he just fairly emptied
that young fellow Blamed if he didnt inquire about everybody and everything in
that blessed town and all about all the Wilkses and about Peters business
which was a tanner and about Georges which was a carpenter and about
Harveys which was a dissentering minister and so on and so on Then he
says
»What did you want to walk all the way up to the steamboat for«
»Because shes a big Orleans boat and I was afeard she mightnt stop there
When theyre deep they wont stop for a hail A Cincinnati boat will but this
is a St Louis one«
»Was Peter Wilks well off«
»Oh yes pretty well off He had houses and land and its reckoned he left
three or four thousand in cash hid up somers«
»When did you say he died«
»I didnt say but it was last night«
»Funeral tomorrow likely«
»Yes bout the middle of the day«
»Well its all terrible sad but weve all got to go one time or another
So what we want to do is to be prepared then were all right«
»Yes sir its the best way Ma used to always say that«
When we struck the boat she was about done loading and pretty soon she got
off The king never said nothing about going aboard so I lost my ride after
all When the boat was gone the king made me paddle up another mile to a
lonesome place and then he got ashore and says
»Now hustle back right off and fetch the duke up here and the new
carpetbags And if hes gone over to tother side go over there and git him
And tell him to git himself up regardless Shove along now«
I see what he was up to but I never said nothing of course When I got
back with the duke we hid the canoe and then they set down on a log and the
king told him everything just like the young fellow had said it every last
word of it And all the time he was a doing it he tried to talk like an
Englishman and he done it pretty well too for a slouch I cant imitate him
and so I aint agoing to try to but he really done it pretty good Then he
says
»How are you on the deef and dumb Bilgewater«
The duke said leave him alone for that said he had played a deef and dumb
person on the histrionic boards So then they waited for a steamboat
About the middle of the afternoon a couple of little boats come along but
they didnt come from high enough up the river but at last there was a big one
and they hailed her She sent out her yawl and we went aboard and she was from
Cincinnati and when they found we only wanted to go four or five mile they was
booming mad and give us a cussing and said they wouldnt land us But the king
was cam He says
»If gentlemen kin afford to pay a dollar a mile apiece to be took on and
put off in a yawl a steamboat kin afford to carry em cant it«
So they softened down and said it was all right and when we got to the
village they yawled us ashore About two dozen men flocked down when they see
the yawl a coming and when the king says
»Kin any of you gentlemen tell me wher Mr Peter Wilks lives« they give a
glance at one another, and nodded their heads as much as to say »What d I
tell you« Then one of them says kind of soft and gentle
»Im sorry sir but the best we can do is to tell you where he did live
yesterday evening«
Sudden as winking the ornery old cretur went all to smash and fell up
against the man and put his chin on his shoulder and cried down his back and
says
»Alas alas our poor brother gone and we never got to see him oh its
too too hard«
Then he turns around blubbering and makes a lot of idiotic signs to the
duke on his hands and blamed if he didnt drop a carpetbag and bust out
acrying If they warnt the beatenest lot them two frauds that ever I struck
Well the men gethered around and sympathized with them and said all sorts
of kind things to them and carried their carpetbags up the hill for them and
let them lean on them and cry and told the king all about his brothers last
moments and the king he told it all over again on his hands to the duke and
both of them took on about that dead tanner like theyd lost the twelve
disciples Well if ever I struck anything like it Im a nigger It was enough
to make a body ashamed of the human race
Chapter XXV
The news was all over town in two minutes and you could see the people tearing
down on the run from every which way some of them putting on their coats as
they come Pretty soon we was in the middle of a crowd and tile noise of the
tramping was like a soldiermarch The windows and dooryards was full and
every minute somebody would say over a fence
»Is it them«
And somebody trotting along with the gang would answer back and say
»You bet it is«
When we got to the house the street in front of it was packed and the
three girls was standing in the door Mary Jane was redheaded but that dont
make no difference she was most awful beautiful and her face and her eyes was
all lit up like glory she was so glad her uncles was come The king he spread
his arms and Mary Jane she jumped for them and the harelip jumped for the
duke and there they had it Everybody most leastways women cried for joy to
see them meet again at last and have such good times
Then the king he hunched the duke private I see him do it and then he
looked around and see the coffin over in the corner on two chairs so then him
and the duke with a hand across each others shoulder and tother hand to
their eyes walked slow and solemn over there everybody dropping back to give
them room and all the talk and noise stopping people saying »Sh« and all the
men taking their hats off and drooping their heads so you could a heard a pin
fall And when they got there they bent over and looked in the coffin and took
one sight and then they bust out a crying so you could a heard them to Orleans
most and then they put their arms around each others necks and hung their
chins over each others shoulders and then for three minutes or maybe four I
never see two men leak the way they done And mind you everybody was doing the
same and the place was that damp I never see anything like it Then one of them
got on one side of the coffin and tother on tother side and they kneeled
down and rested their foreheads on the coffin and let on to pray all to
theirselves Well when it come to that it worked the crowd like you never see
anything like it and so everybody broke down and went to sobbing right out loud
the poor girls too and every woman nearly went up to the girls without
saying a word and kissed them solemn on the forehead and then put their hand
on their head and looked up towards the sky with the tears running down and
then busted out and went off sobbing and swabbing and give the next woman a
show I never see anything so disgusting
Well byandby the king he gets up and comes forward a little and works
himself up and slobbers out a speech all full of tears and flapdoodle about its
being a sore trial for him and his poor brother to lose the diseased and to
miss seeing diseased alive after the long journey of four thousand mile but
its a trial thats sweetened and sanctified to us by this dear sympathy and
these holy tears and so he thanks them out of his heart and out of his
brothers heart because out of their mouths they cant words being too weak
and cold and all that kind of rot and slush till it was just sickening and
then he blubbers out a pious goodygoody Amen and turns himself loose and goes
to crying fit to bust
And the minute the words was out of his mouth somebody over in the crowd
struck up the doxolojer and everybody joined in with all their might and it
just warmed you up and made you feel as good as church letting out Music is a
good thing and after all that soulbutter and hogwash I never see it freshen
up things so and sound so honest and bully
Then the king begins to work his jaw again and says how him and his nieces
would be glad if a few of the main principal friends of the family would take
supper here with them this evening and help set up with the ashes of the
diseased and says if his poor brother laying yonder could speak he knows who
he would name for they was names that was very dear to him and mentioned often
in his letters and so he will name the same towit as follows vizz Rev
Mr Hobson and Deacon Lot Hovey and Mr Ben Rucker and Abner Shackleford and
Levi Bell and Dr Robinson and their wives and the widow Bartley
Rev Hobson and Dr Robinson was down to the end of the town ahunting
together that is I mean the doctor was shipping a sick man to tother world
and the preacher was pinting him right Lawyer Bell was away up to Louisville on
some business But the rest was on hand and so they all come and shook hands
with the king and thanked him and talked to him and then they shook hands with
the duke and didnt say nothing but just kept asmiling and bobbing their heads
like a passel of sapheads whilst he made all sorts of signs with his hands and
said »Googoo googoogoo« all the time like a baby that cant talk
So the king he blatted along and managed to inquire about pretty much
everybody and dog in town by his name and mentioned all sorts of little things
that happened one time or another in the town or to Georges family or to
Peter and he always let on that Peter wrote him the things but that was a lie
he got every blessed one of them out of that young flathead that we canoed up to
the steamboat
Then Mary Jane she fetched the letter her father left behind and the king
he read it out loud and cried over it It give the dwellinghouse and three
thousand dollars gold to the girls and it give the tanyard which was doing a
good business along with some other houses and land worth about seven
thousand and three thousand dollars in gold to Harvey and William and told
where the six thousand cash was hid down cellar So these two frauds said
theyd go and fetch it up and have everything square and aboveboard and told
me to come with a candle We shut the cellar door behind us and when they found
the bag they spilt it out on the floor and it was a lovely sight all them
yallerboys My the way the kings eyes did shine He slaps the duke on the
shoulder and says
»Oh this aint bully nor nothn Oh no I reckon not Why Biljy it
beats the Nonesuch dont it«
The duke allowed it did They pawed the yallerboys and sifted them through
their fingers and let them jingle down on the floor and the king says
»It aint no use talkin bein brothers to a rich dead man and
representatives of furrin heirs thats got left is the line for you and me
Bilge Thishyer comes of trustn to Providence Its the best way in the long
run Ive tried em all and ther aint no better way«
Most everybody would a been satisfied with the pile and took it on trust
but no they must count it So they counts it and it comes out four hundred and
fifteen dollars short Says the king
»Dern him I wonder what he done with that four hundred and fifteen
dollars«
They worried over that a while and ransacked all around for it Then the
duke says
»Well he was a pretty sick man and likely he made a mistake I reckon
thats the way of it The best ways to let it go and keep still about it We
can spare it«
»Oh shucks yes we can spare it I dont kyer nothn bout that its
the count Im thinkin about We want to be awful square and open and
aboveboard here you know We want to lug this hyer money up stairs and count
it before everybody then ther aint nothn suspicious But when the dead man
says thers six thousn dollars you know we dont want to «
»Hold on« says the duke »Less make up the deffisit« and he begun to haul
out yallerboys out of his pocket
»Its a most amazn good idea duke you have got a rattlin clever head
on you« says the king »Blest if the old Nonesuch aint a heppin us out agin«
and he begun to haul out yallerjackets and stack them up
It most busted them but they made up the six thousand clean and clear
»Say« says the duke »I got another idea Les go up stairs and count this
money and then take and give it to the girls«
»Good land duke lemme hug you Its the most dazzling idea at ever a man
struck You have certnly got the most astonishin head I ever see Oh this is
the boss dodge ther aint no mistake bout it Let em fetch along their
suspicions now if they want to thisll lay em out«
When we got up stairs everybody gethered around the table and the king he
counted it and stacked it up three hundred dollars in a pile twenty elegant
little piles Everybody looked hungry at it and licked their chops Then they
raked it into the bag again and I see the king begin to swell himself up for
another speech He says
»Friends all my poor brother that lays yonder has done generous by them
thats left behind in the vale of sorrers He has done generous by theseyer
poor little lambs that he loved and sheltered and thats left fatherless and
motherless Yes and we that knowed him knows that he would a done more
generous by em if he hadnt ben afeard o woundin his dear William and me
Now wouldnt he Ther aint no question bout it in my mind Well then
what kind o brothers would it be that d stand in his way at sech a time And
what kind o uncles would it be that d rob yes rob sech poor sweet lambs
as these at he loved so at sech a time If I know William and I think I do
he well Ill jest ask him« He turns around and begins to make a lot of signs
to the duke with his hands and the duke he looks at him stupid and
leatherheaded a while then all of a sudden he seems to catch his meaning and
jumps for the king googooing with all his might for joy and hugs him about
fifteen times before he lets up Then the king says »I knowed it I reckon that
ll convince anybody the way he feels about it Here Mary Jane Susan Joanner
take the money take it all Its the gift of him that lays yonder cold but
joyful«
Mary Jane she went for him Susan and the harelip went for the duke and
then such another hugging and kissing I never see yet And everybody crowded up
with the tears in their eyes and most shook the hands off of them frauds
saying all the time
»You dear good souls how lovely how could you«
Well then pretty soon all hands got to talking about the diseased again
and how good he was and what a loss he was and all that and before long a big
ironjawed man worked himself in there from outside and stood a listening and
looking and not saying anything and nobody saying anything to him either
because the king was talking and they was all busy listening The king was
saying in the middle of something hed started in on
» they bein partickler friends o the diseased Thats why theyre invited
here this evenin but tomorrow we want all to come everybody for he
respected everybody he liked everybody and so its fitten that his funeral
orgies shd be public«
And so he went amooning on and on liking to hear himself talk and every
little while he fetched in his funeral orgies again till the duke he couldnt
stand it no more so he writes on a little scrap of paper »obsequies you old
fool« and folds it up and goes to googooing and reaching it over peoples
heads to him The king he reads it and puts it in his pocket and says
»Poor William afflicted as he is his hearts aluz right Asks me to invite
everybody to come to the funeral wants me to make em all welcome But he
neednt a worried it was jest what I was at«
Then he weaves along again perfectly cam and goes to dropping in his
funeral orgies again every now and then just like he done before And when he
done it the third time he says
»I say orgies not because its the common term because it aint
obsequies bein the common term but because orgies is the right term
Obsequies aint used in England no more now its gone out We say orgies now
in England Orgies is better because it means the thing youre after more
exact Its a word thats made up outn the Greek orgo outside open abroad
and the Hebrew jeesum to plant cover up hence inter So you see funeral
orgies is an open er public funeral«
He was the worst I ever struck Well the ironjawed man he laughed right in
his face Everybody was shocked Everybody says »Why doctor« and Abner
Shackleford says
»Why Robinson haint you heard the news This is Harvey Wilks«
The king he smiled eager and shoved out his flapper and says
»Is it my poor brothers dear good friend and physician I «
»Keep your hands off of me« says the doctor »You talk like an Englishman
dont you Its the worse imitation I ever heard You Peter Wilkss brother
Youre a fraud thats what you are«
Well how they all took on They crowded around the doctor and tried to
quiet him down and tried to explain to him and tell him how Harveyd showed in
forty ways that he was Harvey and knowed everybody by name and the names of
the very dogs and begged and begged him not to hurt Harveys feelings and the
poor girls feelings and all that but it warnt no use he stormed right
along and said any man that pretended to be an Englishman and couldnt imitate
the lingo no better than what he did was a fraud and a liar The poor girls was
hanging to the king and crying and all of a sudden the doctor ups and turns on
them He says
»I was your fathers friend and Im your friend and I warn you as a
friend and an honest one that wants to protect you and keep you out of harm
and trouble to turn your backs on that scoundrel and have nothing to do with
him the ignorant tramp with his idiotic Greek and Hebrew as he calls it He is
the thinnest kind of an impostor has come here with a lot of empty names and
facts which he has picked up somewheres and you take them for proofs and are
helped to fool yourselves by these foolish friends here who ought to know
better Mary Jane Wilks you know me for your friend and for your unselfish
friend too Now listen to me turn this pitiful rascal out I beg you to do
it Will you«
Mary Jane straightened herself up and my but she was handsome She says
»Here is my answer« She hove up the bag of money and put it in the kings
hands and says »Take this six thousand dollars and invest it for me and my
sisters any way you want to and dont give us no receipt for it«
Then she put her arm around the king on one side and Susan and the harelip
done the same on the other Everybody clapped their hands and stomped on the
floor like a perfect storm whilst the king held up his head and smiled proud
The doctor says
»All right I wash my hands of the matter But I warn you all that a times
coming when youre going to feel sick whenever you think of this day« and away
he went
»All right doctor« says the king kinder mocking him »well try and get
em to send for you« which made them all laugh and they said it was a prime
good hit
Chapter XXVI
Well when they was all gone the king he asks Mary Jane how they was off for
spare rooms and she said she had one spare room which would do for Uncle
William and shed give her own room to Uncle Harvey which was a little bigger
and she would turn into the room with her sisters and sleep on a cot and up
garret was a little cubby with a pallet in it The king said the cubby would do
for his valley meaning me
So Mary Jane took us up and she showed them their rooms which was plain
but nice She said shed have her frocks and a lot of other traps took out of
her room if they was in Uncle Harveys way but he said they warnt The frocks
was hung along the wall and before them was a curtain made out of calico that
hung down to the floor There was an old hair trunk in one corner and a guitar
box in another and all sorts of little knickknacks and jimcracks around like
girls brisken up a room with The king said it was all the more homely and more
pleasanter for these fixings and so dont disturb them The dukes room was
pretty small but plenty good enough and so was my cubby
That night they had a big supper and all them men and women was there and
I stood behind the king and the dukes chairs and waited on them and the
niggers waited on the rest Mary Jane she set at the head of the table with
Susan along side of her and said how bad the biscuits was and how mean the
preserves was and how ornery and tough the fried chickens was and all that
kind of rot the way women always do for to force out compliments and the
people all knowed everything was tiptop and said so said »How do you get
biscuits to brown so nice« and »Where for the lands sake did you get these
amazn pickles« and all that kind of humbug talkytalk just the way people
always does at a supper you know
And when it was all done me and the harelip had supper in the kitchen off
of the leavings whilst the others was helping the niggers clean up the things
The harelip she got to pumping me about England and blest if I didnt think
the ice was getting mighty thin sometimes She says
»Did you ever see the king«
»Who William Fourth Well I bet I have he goes to our church« I knowed
he was dead years ago but I never let on So when I says he goes to our church
she says
»What regular«
»Yes regular His pews right over opposite ourn on tother side the
pulpit«
»I thought he lived in London«
»Well he does Where would he live«
»But I thought you lived in Sheffield«
I see I was up a stump I had to let on to get choked with a chicken bone
so as to get time to think how to get down again Then I says
»I mean he goes to our church regular when hes in Sheffield Thats only in
the summertime when he comes there to take the sea baths«
»Why how you talk Sheffield aint on the sea«
»Well who said it was«
»Why you did«
»I didnt nuther«
»You did«
»I didnt«
»You did«
»I never said nothing of the kind«
»Well what did you say then«
»Said he come to take the sea baths thats what I said«
»Well then hows he going to take the sea baths if it aint on the sea«
»Looky here« I says »did you ever see any Congress water«
»Yes«
»Well did you have to go to Congress to get it«
»Why no«
»Well neither does William Fourth have to go to the sea to get a sea bath«
»How does he get it then«
»Gets it the way people down here gets Congresswater in barrels There in
the palace at Sheffield theyve got furnaces and he wants his water hot They
cant bile that amount of water away off there at the sea They havent got no
conveniences for it«
»Oh I see now You might a said that in the first place and saved time«
When she said that I see I was out of the woods again and so I was
comfortable and glad Next she says
»Do you go to church too«
»Yes regular«
»Where do you set«
»Why in our pew«
»Whose pew«
»Why ourn your Uncle Harveys«
»Hisn What does he want with a pew«
»Wants it to set in What did you reckon he wanted with it«
»Why I thought hed be in the pulpit«
Rot him I forgot he was a preacher I see I was up a stump again so I
played another chicken bone and got another think Then I says
»Blame it do you suppose there aint but one preacher to a church«
»Why what do they want with more«
»What to preach before a king I never see such a girl as you They dont
have no less than seventeen«
»Seventeen My land Why I wouldnt set out such a string as that not if I
never got to glory It must take em a week«
»Shucks they dont all of em preach the same day only one of em«
»Well then what does the rest of em do«
»Oh nothing much Loll around pass the plate and one thing or another
But mainly they dont do nothing«
»Well then what are they for«
»Why theyre for style Dont you know nothing«
»Well I dont want to know no such foolishness as that How is servants
treated in England Do they treat em better n we treat our niggers«
»No A servant aint nobody there They treat them worse than dogs«
»Dont they give em holidays the way we do Christmas and New Years week
and Fourth of July«
»Oh just listen A body could tell you haint ever been to England by
that Why Harel why Joanna they never see a holiday from years end to
years end never go to the circus nor theatre nor nigger shows nor
nowheres«
»Nor church«
»Nor church«
»But you always went to church«
Well I was gone up again I forgot I was the old mans servant But next
minute I whirled in on a kind of an explanation how a valley was different from
a common servant and had to go to church whether he wanted to or not and set
with the family on account of its being the law But I didnt do it pretty
good and when I got done I see she warnt satisfied She says
»Honest injun now haint you been telling me a lot of lies«
»Honest injun« says I
»None of it at all«
»None of it at all Not a lie in it« says I
»Lay your hand on this book and say it«
I see it warnt nothing but a dictionary so I laid my hand on it and said
it So then she looked a little better satisfied and says
»Well then Ill believe some of it but I hope to gracious if Ill believe
the rest«
»What is it you wont believe Joe« says Mary Jane stepping in with Susan
behind her »It aint right nor kind for you to talk so to him and him a
stranger and so far from his people How would you like to be treated so«
»Thats always your way Maim always sailing in to help somebody before
theyre hurt I haint done nothing to him Hes told some stretchers I reckon
and I said I wouldnt swallow it all and thats every bit and grain I did say
I reckon he can stand a little thing like that cant he«
»I dont care whether twas little or whether twas big hes here in our
house and a stranger and it wasnt good of you to say it If you was in his
place it would make you feel ashamed and so you oughtnt to say a thing to
another person that will make them feel ashamed«
»Why Maim he said «
»It dont make no difference what he said that aint the thing The thing
is for you to treat him kind and not be saying things to make him remember he
aint in his own country and amongst his own folks«
I says to myself this is a girl that Im letting that old reptle rob her of
her money
Then Susan she waltzed in and if youll believe me she did give Harelip
hark from the tomb
Says I to myself And this is another one that Im letting him rob her of
her money
Then Mary Jane she took another inning and went in sweet and lovely again
which was her way but when she got done there warnt hardly anything left o
poor Harelip So she hollered
»All right then« says the other girls »you just ask his pardon«
She done it too And she done it beautiful She done it so beautiful it was
good to hear and I wished I could tell her a thousand lies so she could do it
again
I says to myself this is another one that Im letting him rob her of her
money And when she got through they all jest laid theirselves out to make me
feel at home and know I was amongst friends I felt so ornery and low down and
mean that I says to myself My minds made up Ill hive that money for them or
bust
So then I lit out for bed I said meaning some time or another When I
got by myself I went to thinking the thing over I says to myself shall I go
to that doctor private and blow on these frauds No that wont do He might
tell who told him then the king and the duke would make it warm for me Shall I
go private and tell Mary Jane No I dasnt do it Her face would give them a
hint sure theyve got the money and theyd slide right out and get away with
it If she was to fetch in help Id get mixed up in the business before it was
done with I judge No there aint no good way but one I got to steal that
money somehow and I got to steal it some way that they wont suspicion that I
done it Theyve got a good thing here and they aint agoing to leave till
theyve played this family and this town for all theyre worth so Ill find a
chance time enough Ill steal it and hide it and byandby when Im away
down the river Ill write a letter and tell Mary Jane where its hid But I
better hive it tonight if I can because the doctor maybe hasnt let up as
much as he lets on he has he might scare them out of here yet
So thinks I Ill go and search them rooms Up stairs the hall was dark
but I found the dukes room and started to paw around it with my hands but I
recollected it wouldnt be much like the king to let anybody else take care of
that money but his own self so then I went to his room and begun to paw around
there But I see I couldnt do nothing without a candle and I dasnt light one
of course So I judged Id got to do the other thing lay for them and
eavesdrop About that time I hears their footsteps coming and was going to
skip under the bed I reached for it but it wasnt where I thought it would be
but I touched the curtain that hid Mary Janes frocks so I jumped in behind
that and snuggled in amongst the gowns and stood there perfectly still
They come in and shut the door and the first thing the duke done was to get
down and look under the bed Then I was glad I hadnt found the bed when I
wanted it And yet you know its kind of natural to hide under the bed when
you are up to anything private They sets down then and the king says
»Well what is it and cut it middlin short because its better for us to
be down there a whoopinup the mournin than up here givin em a chance to
talk us over«
»Well this is it Capet I aint easy I aint comfortable That doctor
lays on my mind I wanted to know your plans Ive got a notion, and I think
its a sound one«
»What is it duke«
»That we better glide out of this before three in the morning and clip it
down the river with what weve got Specially seeing we got it so easy given
back to us flung at our heads as you may say when of course we allowed to
have to steal it back Im for knocking off and lighting out«
That made me feel pretty bad About an hour or two ago it would a been a
little different but now it made me feel bad and disappointed The king rips
out and says
»What And not sell out the rest o the property March off like a passel o
fools and leave eight or nine thousn dollars worth o property layin around
jest sufferin to be scooped in and all good salable stuff too«
The duke he grumbled said the bag of gold was enough and he didnt want to
go no deeper didnt want to rob a lot of orphans of everything they had
»Why how you talk« says the king »We shant rob em of nothing at all but
jest this money The people that buys the property is the suffrers because as
soons its found out at we didnt own it which wont be long after weve
slid the sale wont be valid and itll all go back to the estate Theseyer
orphans ll git their house back agin and thats enough for them theyre young
and spry and kn easy earn a livin They aint agoing to suffer Why jest
think theres thousns and thousns that aint nigh so well off Bless you
they aint got nothn to complain of«
Well the king he talked him blind so at last he give in and said all
right but said he believed it was blame foolishness to stay and that doctor
hanging over them But the king says
»Cuss the doctor What do we kyer for him Haint we got all the fools in
town on our side and aint that a big enough majority in any town«
So they got ready to go down stairs again The duke says
»I dont think we put that money in a good place«
That cheered me up Id begun to think I warnt going to get a hint of no
kind to help me The king says
»Why«
»Because Mary Jane ll be in mourning from this out and first you know the
nigger that does up the rooms will get an order to box these duds up and put em
away and do you reckon a nigger can run across money and not borrow some of
it«
»Your heads level agin duke« says the king and he come a fumbling under
the curtain two or three foot from where I was I stuck tight to the wall and
kept mighty still though quivery and I wondered what them fellows would say to
me if they catched me and I tried to think what Id better do if they did catch
me But the king he got the bag before I could think more than about a half a
thought and he never suspicioned I was around They took and shoved the bag
through a rip in the straw tick that was under the feather bed and crammed it
in a foot or two amongst the straw and said it was all right now because a
nigger only makes up the feather bed and dont turn over the straw tick only
about twice a year and so it warnt in no danger of getting stole now
But I knowed better I had it out of there before they was halfway down
stairs I groped along up to my cubby and hid it there till I could get a
chance to do better I judged I better hide it outside of the house somewheres
because if they missed it they would give the house a good ransacking I knowed
that very well Then I turned in with my clothes all on but I couldnt a gone
to sleep if Id a wanted to I was in such a sweat to get through with the
business Byandby I heard the king and the duke come up so I rolled off of my
pallet and laid with my chin at the top of my ladder and waited to see if
anything was going to happen But nothing did
So I held on till all the late sounds had quit and the early ones hadnt
begun yet and then I slipped down the ladder
Chapter XXVII
I crept to their doors and listened they was snoring so I tiptoed along and
got down stairs all right There warnt a sound anywheres I peeped through a
crack of the diningroom door and see the men that was watching the corpse all
sound asleep on their chairs The door was open into the parlor where the
corpse was laying and there was a candle in both rooms I passed along and the
parlor door was open but I see there warnt nobody in there but the remainders
of Peter so I shoved on by but the front door was locked and the key wasnt
there Just then I heard somebody coming down the stairs back behind me I run
in the parlor and took a swift look around and the only place I see to hide
the bag was in the coffin The lid was shoved along about a foot showing the
dead mans face down in there with a wet cloth over it and his shroud on I
tucked the moneybag in under the lid just down beyond where his hands was
crossed which made me creep they was so cold and then I run back across the
room and in behind the door
The person coming was Mary Jane She went to the coffin very soft and
kneeled down and looked in then she put up her handkerchief and I see she begun
to cry though I couldnt hear her and her back was to me I slid out and as I
passed the diningroom I thought Id make sure them watchers hadnt seen me so
I looked through the crack and everything was all right They hadnt stirred
I slipped up to bed feeling ruther blue on accounts of the thing playing
out that way after I had took so much trouble and run so much resk about it
Says I if it could stay where it is all right because when we get down the
river a hundred mile or two I could write back to Mary Jane and she could dig
him up again and get it but that aint the thing thats going to happen the
thing thats going to happen is the money ll be found when they come to screw
on the lid Then the king ll get it again and it ll be a long day before he
gives anybody another chance to smouch it from him Of course I wanted to slide
down and get it out of there but I dasnt try it Every minute it was getting
earlier now and pretty soon some of them watchers would begin to stir and I
might get catched catched with six thousand dollars in my hands that nobody
hadnt hired me to take care of I dont wish to be mixed up in no such business
as that I says to myself
When I got down stairs in the morning the parlor was shut up and the
watchers was gone There warnt nobody around but the family and the widow
Bartley and our tribe I watched their faces to see if anything had been
happening but I couldnt tell
Towards the middle of the day the undertaker come with his man and they
set the coffin in the middle of the room on a couple of chairs and then set all
our chairs in rows and borrowed more from the neighbors till the hall and the
parlor and the diningroom was full I see the coffin lid was the way it was
before but I dasnt go to look in under it with folks around
Then the people begun to flock in and the beats and the girls took seats in
the front row at the head of the coffin and for a half an hour the people filed
around slow in single rank and looked down at the dead mans face a minute
and some dropped in a tear and it was all very still and solemn only the girls
and the beats holding handkerchiefs to their eyes and keeping their heads bent
and sobbing a little There warnt no other sound but the scraping of the feet
on the floor and blowing noses because people always blows them more at a
funeral than they do at other places except church
When the place was packed full the undertaker he slid around in his black
gloves with his softy soothering ways putting on the last touches and getting
people and things all shipshape and comfortable and making no more sound than a
cat He never spoke he moved people around he squeezed in late ones he opened
up passageways and done it all with nods and signs with his hands Then he
took his place over against the wall He was the softest glidingest
stealthiest man I ever see and there warnt no more smile to him than there is
to a ham
They had borrowed a melodeum a sick one and when everything was ready a
young woman set down and worked it and it was pretty skreeky and colicky and
everybody joined in and sung and Peter was the only one that had a good thing
according to my notion Then the Reverend Hobson opened up slow and solemn and
begun to talk and straight off the most outrageous row busted out in the cellar
a body ever heard it was only one dog but he made a most powerful racket and
he kept it up right along the parson he had to stand there over the coffin
and wait you couldnt hear yourself think It was right down awkward and
nobody didnt seem to know what to do But pretty soon they see that longlegged
undertaker make a sign to the preacher as much as to say »Dont you worry
just depend on me« Then he stooped down and begun to glide along the wall just
his shoulders showing over the peoples heads So he glided along and the
powwow and racket getting more and more outrageous all the time and at last
when he had gone around two sides of the room he disappears down cellar Then
in about two seconds we heard a whack and the dog he finished up with a most
amazing howl or two and then everything was dead still and the parson begun
his solemn talk where he left off In a minute or two here comes this
undertakers back and shoulders gliding along the wall again and so he glided
and glided around three sides of the room and then rose up and shaded his
mouth with his hands and stretched his neck out towards the preacher over the
peoples heads and says in a kind of a coarse whisper »He had a rat« Then he
drooped down and glided along the wall again to his place You could see it was
a great satisfaction to the people because naturally they wanted to know A
little thing like that dont cost nothing and its just the little things that
makes a man to be looked up to and liked There warnt no more popular man in
town than what that undertaker was
Well the funeral sermon was very good but pison long and tiresome and
then the king he shoved in and got off some of his usual rubbage and at last
the job was through and the undertaker begun to sneak up on the coffin with his
screwdriver I was in a sweat then and watched him pretty keen But he never
meddled at all just slid the lid along as soft as mush and screwed it down
tight and fast So there I was I didnt know whether the money was in there or
not So says I spose somebody has hogged that bag on the sly now how do I
know whether to write to Mary Jane or not Spose she dug him up and didnt find
nothing what would she think of me Blame it I says I might get hunted up
and jailed Id better lay low and keep dark and not write at all the things
awful mixed now trying to better it Ive worsened it a hundred times and I
wish to goodness Id just let it alone dad fetch the whole business
They buried him and we come back home and I went to watching faces again
I couldnt help it and I couldnt rest easy But nothing come of it the faces
didnt tell me nothing
The king he visited around in the evening and sweetened every body up and
made himself ever so friendly and he give out the idea that his congregation
over in England would be in a sweat about him so he must hurry and settle up
the estate right away and leave for home He was very sorry he was so pushed
and so was everybody they wished he could stay longer but they said they could
see it couldnt be done And he said of course him and William would take the
girls home with them and that pleased everybody too because then the girls
would be well fixed and amongst their own relations and it pleased the girls
too tickled them so they clean forgot they ever had a trouble in the world
and told him to sell out as quick as he wanted to they would be ready Them
poor things was that glad and happy it made my heart ache to see them getting
fooled and lied to so but I didnt see no safe way for me to chip in and change
the general tune
Well blamed if the king didnt bill the house and the niggers and all the
property for auction straight off sale two days after the funeral but anybody
could buy private beforehand if they wanted to
So the next day after the funeral along about noontime the girls joy got
the first jolt a couple of nigger traders come along and the king sold them
the niggers reasonable for threeday drafts as they called it and away they
went the two sons up the river to Memphis and their mother down the river to
Orleans I thought them poor girls and them niggers would break their hearts for
grief they cried around each other and took on so it most made me down sick to
see it The girls said they hadnt ever dreamed of seeing the family separated
or sold away from the town I cant ever get it out of my memory the sight of
them poor miserable girls and niggers hanging around each others necks and
crying and I reckon I couldnt a stood it all but would a had to bust out and
tell on our gang if I hadnt knowed the sale warnt no account and the niggers
would be back home in a week or two
The thing made a big stir in the town too and a good many come out
flatfooted and said it was scandalous to separate the mother and the children
that way It injured the frauds some but the old fool he bulled right along
spite of all the duke could say or do and I tell you the duke was powerful
uneasy
Next day was auction day About broadday in the morning the king and the
duke come up in the garret and woke me up and I see by their look that there
was trouble The king says
»Was you in my room night before last«
»No your majesty« which was the way I always called him when nobody but
our gang warnt around
»Was you in there yisterday er last night«
»No your majesty«
»Honor bright now no lies«
»Honor bright your majesty Im telling you the truth I haint been anear
your room since Miss Mary Jane took you and the duke and showed it to you«
The duke says
»Have you seen anybody else go in there«
»No your grace not as I remember I believe«
»Stop and think«
I studied a while and see my chance then I says
»Well I see the niggers go in there several times«
Both of them give a little jump and looked like they hadnt ever expected
it and then like they had Then the duke says
»What all of them«
»No leastways not all at once That is I dont think I ever see them all
come out at once but just one time«
»Hello when was that«
»It was the day we had the funeral In the morning It warnt early because
I overslept I was just starting down the ladder and I see them«
»Well go on go on what did they do Howd they act«
»They didnt do nothing And they didnt act anyway much as fur as I see
They tiptoed away so I seen easy enough that theyd shoved in there to do up
your majestys room or something sposing you was up and found you warnt up
and so they was hoping to slide out of the way of trouble without waking you up
if they hadnt already waked you up«
»Great guns this is a go« says the king and both of them looked pretty
sick and tolerable silly They stood there a thinking and scratching their
heads a minute and then the duke he bust into a kind of a little raspy
chuckle and says
»It does beat all how neat the niggers played their hand They let on to be
sorry they was going out of this region and I believed they was sorry And so
did you and so did everybody Dont ever tell me any more that a nigger aint
got any histrionic talent Why the way they played that thing it would fool
anybody In my opinion theres a fortune in em If I had capital and a theatre
I wouldnt want a better lay out than that and here weve gone and sold em
for a song Yes and aint privileged to sing the song yet Say where is that
song that draft«
»In the bank for to be collected Where would it be«
»Well thats all right then thank goodness«
Says I kind of timidlike
»Is something gone wrong«
The king whirls on me and rips out
»None o your business You keep your head shet and mind yr own affairs
if you got any Long as youre in this town dont you forgit that you hear«
Then he says to the duke »We got to jest swaller it and say nothn mums the
word for us«
As they was starting down the ladder the duke he chuckles again and says
»Quick sales and small profits Its a good business yes«
The king snarls around on him and says
»I was trying to do for the best in sellin m out so quick If the profits
has turned out to be none lackin considable and none to carry is it my fault
any moren its yourn«
»Well theyd be in this house yet and we wouldnt if I could a got my
advice listened to«
The king sassed back as much as was safe for him and then swapped around
and lit into me again He give me down the banks for not coming and telling him
I see the niggers come out of his room acting that way said any fool would a
knowed something was up And then waltzed in and cussed himself a while and
said it all come of him not laying late and taking his natural rest that
morning and hed be blamed if hed ever do it again So they went off a jawing
and I felt dreadful glad Id worked it all off onto the niggers and yet hadnt
done the niggers no harm by it
Chapter XXVIII
Byandby it was gettingup time so I come down the ladder and started for down
stairs but as I come to the girls room the door was open and I see Mary Jane
setting by her old hair trunk which was open and shed been packing things in
it getting ready to go to England But she had stopped now with a folded gown
in her lap and had her face in her hands crying I felt awful bad to see it
of course anybody would I went in there and says
»Miss Mary Jane you cant abear to see people in trouble and I cant
most always Tell me about it«
So she done it And it was the niggers I just expected it She said the
beautiful trip to England was most about spoiled for her she didnt know how
she was ever going to be happy there knowing the mother and the children warnt
ever going to see each other no more and then busted out bitterer than ever
and flung up her hands and says
»Oh dear dear to think they aint ever going to see each other any more«
»But they will and inside of two weeks and I know it« says I
Laws it was out before I could think and before I could budge she throws
her arms around my neck and told me to say it again say it again say it
again
I see I had spoke too sudden and said too much and was in a close place I
asked her to let me think a minute and she set there very impatient and
excited and handsome but looking kind of happy and easedup like a person
thats had a tooth pulled out So I went to studying it out I says to myself I
reckon a body that ups and tells the truth when he is in a tight place is
taking considerable many resks though I aint had no experience, and cant say
for certain but it looks so to me anyway and yet heres a case where Im
blest if it dont look to me like the truth is better and actuly safer than a
lie I must lay it by in my mind and think it over some time or other its so
kind of strange and unregular I never see nothing like it Well I says to
myself at last Im agoing to chance it Ill up and tell the truth this time
though it does seem most like setting down on a kag of powder and touching it
off just to see where youll go to Then I says
»Miss Mary Jane is there any place out of town a little ways where you
could go and stay three or four days«
»Yes Mr Lothrops Why«
»Never mind why yet If Ill tell you how I know the niggers will see each
other again inside of two weeks here in this house and prove how I know it
will you go to Mr Lothrops and stay four days«
»Four days« she says »Ill stay a year«
»All right« I says »I dont want nothing more out of you than just your
word I druther have it than another mans kisstheBible« She smiled and
reddened up very sweet and I says »If you dont mind it Ill shut the door
and bolt it«
Then I come back and set down again and says
»Dont you holler Just set still and take it like a man I got to tell the
truth and you want to brace up Miss Mary because its a bad kind and going
to be hard to take but there aint no help for it These uncles of yourn aint
no uncles at all theyre a couple of frauds regular deadbeats There now
were over the worst of it you can stand the rest middling easy«
It jolted her up like everything of course but I was over the shoal water
now so I went right along her eyes a blazing higher and higher all the time
and told her every blame thing from where we first struck that young fool going
up to the steamboat clear through to where she flung herself onto the kings
breast at the front door and he kissed her sixteen or seventeen times and then
up she jumps with her face afire like sunset and says
»The brute Come dont waste a minute not a second well have them
tarred and feathered and flung in the river«
Says I
»Certnly But do you mean before you go to Mr Lothrops or «
»Oh« she says »what am I thinking about« she says and set right down
again »Dont mind what I said please dont you wont now will you«
Laying her silky hand on mind in that kind of a way that I said I would die
first »I never thought I was so stirred up« she says »now go on and I wont
do so any more You tell me what to do and whatever you say Ill do it«
»Well« I says »its a rough gang them two frauds and Im fixed so I got
to travel with them a while longer whether I want to or not I druther not
tell you why and if you was to blow on them this town would get me out of
their claws and Id be all right but thered be another person that you dont
know about whod be in big trouble Well we got to save him haint we Of
course Well then we wont blow on them«
Saying them words put a good idea in my head I see how maybe I could get me
and Jim rid of the frauds get them jailed here and then leave But I didnt
want to run the raft in daytime without anybody aboard to answer questions but
me so I didnt want the plan to begin working till pretty late tonight I
says
»Miss Mary Jane Ill tell you what well do and you wont have to stay at
Mr Lothrops so long nuther How fur is it«
»A little short of four miles right out in the country back here«
»Well thatll answer Now you go along out there and lay low till nine or
halfpast tonight and then get them to fetch you home again tell them
youve thought of something If you get here before eleven put a candle in this
window and if I dont turn up wait till eleven and then if I dont turn up it
means Im gone and out of the way and safe Then you come out and spread the
news around and get these beats jailed«
»Good« she says »Ill do it«
»And if it just happens so that I dont get away but get took up along with
them you must up and say I told you the whole thing beforehand and you must
stand by me all you can«
»Stand by you indeed I will They shant touch a hair of your head« she
says and I see her nostrils spread and her eyes snap when she said it too
»If I get away I shant be here« I says »to prove these rapscallions
aint your uncles and I couldnt do it if I was here I could swear they was
beats and bummers thats all though thats worth something Well theres
others can do that better than what I can and theyre people that aint going
to be doubted as quick as Id be Ill tell you how to find them Gimme a pencil
and a piece of paper There Royal Nonesuch Bricksville Put it away and
dont lose it When the court wants to find out something about these two let
them send up to Bricksville and say theyve got the men that played the Royal
Nonesuch and ask for some witnesses why youll have that entire town down
here before you can hardly wink Miss Mary And theyll come abiling too«
I judged we had got everything fixed about right now So I says
»Just let the auction go right along and dont worry Nobody dont have to
pay for the things they buy till a whole day after the auction on accounts of
the short notice and they aint going out of this till they get that money
and the way weve fixed it the sale aint going to count and they aint going
to get no money Its just like the way it was with the niggers it warnt no
sale and the niggers will be back before long Why they cant collect the
money for the niggers yet theyre in the worst kind of a fix Miss Mary«
»Well« she says »Ill run down to breakfast now and then Ill start
straight for Mr Lothrops«
»Deed that aint the ticket Miss Mary Jane« I says »by no manner of
means go before breakfast«
»Why«
»What did you reckon I wanted you to go at all for Miss Mary«
»Well I never thought and come to think I dont know What was it«
»Why its because you aint one of these leatherface people I dont want
no better book than what your face is A body can set down and read it off like
coarse print Do you reckon you can go and face your uncles when they come to
kiss you goodmorning and never «
»There there dont Yes Ill go before breakfast Ill be glad to And
leave my sisters with them«
»Yes never mind about them Theyve got to stand it yet a while They
might suspicion something if all of you was to go I dont want you to see them
nor your sisters nor nobody in this town if a neighbor was to ask how is your
uncles this morning your face would tell something No you go right along
Miss Mary Jane and Ill fix it with all of them Ill tell Miss Susan to give
your love to your uncles and say youve went away for a few hours for to get a
little rest and change or to see a friend and youll be back tonight or early
in the morning«
»Gone to see a friend is all right but I wont have my love given to them«
»Well then it shant be« It was well enough to tell her so no harm in
it It was only a little thing to do and no trouble and its the little things
that smoothes peoples roads the most down here below it would make Mary Jane
comfortable and it wouldnt cost nothing Then I says »Theres one more thing
that bag of money«
»Well theyve got that and it makes me feel pretty silly to think how they
got it«
»No youre out there They haint got it«
»Why whos got it«
»I wish I knowed but I dont I had it because I stole it from them and I
stole it to give to you and I know where I hid it but Im afraid it aint
there no more Im awful sorry Miss Mary Jane Im just as sorry as I can be
but I done the best I could I did honest I come nigh getting caught and I
had to shove it into the first place I come to and run and it warnt a good
place«
»Oh stop blaming yourself its too bad to do it and I wont allow it
you couldnt help it it wasnt your fault Where did you hide it«
I didnt want to set her to thinking about her troubles again and I
couldnt seem to get my mouth to tell her what would make her see that corpse
laying in the coffin with that bag of money on his stomach So for a minute I
didnt say nothing then I says
»Id ruther not tell you where I put it Miss Mary Jane if you dont mind
letting me off but Ill write it for you on a piece of paper and you can read
it along the road to Mr Lothrops if you want to Do you reckon thatll do«
»Oh yes«
So I wrote »I put it in the coffin It was in there when you was crying
there away in the night I was behind the door and I was mighty sorry for you
Miss Mary Jane«
It made my eyes water a little to remember her crying there all by herself
in the night and them devils laying there right under her own roof shaming her
and robbing her and when I folded it up and give it to her I see the water
come into her eyes too and she shook me by the hand hard and says
»Goodbye Im going to do everything just as youve told me and if I
dont ever see you again I shant ever forget you and Ill think of you a
many and a many a time and Ill pray for you too« and she was gone
Pray for me I reckoned if she knowed me shed take a job that was more
nearer her size But I bet she done it just the same she was just that kind
She had the grit to pray for Judus if she took the notion there warnt no
backdown to her I judge You may say what you want to but in my opinion she
had more sand in her than any girl I ever see in my opinion she was just full
of sand It sounds like flattery but it aint no flattery And when it comes to
beauty and goodness too she lays over them all I haint ever seen her since
that time that I see her go out of that door no I haint ever seen her since
but I reckon Ive thought of her a many and a many a million times and of her
saying she would pray for me and if ever Id a thought it would do any good for
me to pray for her blamed if I wouldnt a done it or bust
Well Mary Jane she lit out the back way I reckon because nobody see her
go When I struck Susan and the harelip I says
»Whats the name of them people over on tother side of the river that you
all goes to see sometimes«
They says
»Theres several but its the Proctors mainly«
»Thats the name« I says »I most forgot it Well Miss Mary Jane she told
me to tell you shes gone over there in a dreadful hurry one of thems sick«
»Which one«
»I dont know leastways I kinder forget but I think its «
»Sakes alive I hope it aint Hanner«
»Im sorry to say it« I says »but Hanners the very one«
»My goodness and she so well only last week Is she took bad«
»It aint no name for it They set up with her all night Miss Mary Jane
said and they dont think shell last many hours«
»Only think of that now Whats the matter with her«
I couldnt think of anything reasonable right off that way so I says
»Mumps«
»Mumps your granny They dont set up with people thats got the mumps«
»They dont dont they You better bet they do with these mumps These
mumps is different Its a new kind Miss Mary Jane said«
»Hows it a new kind«
»Because its mixed up with other things«
»What other things«
»Well measles and whoopingcough and erysiplas and consumption and
yaller janders and brain fever and I dont know what all«
»My land And they call it the mumps«
»Thats what Miss Mary Jane said«
»Well what in the nation do they call it the mumps for«
»Why because it is the mumps Thats what it starts with«
»Well ther aint no sense in it A body might stump his toe and take
pison and fall down the well and break his neck and bust his brains out and
somebody come along and ask what killed him and some numskull up and say Why
he stumped his toe Would ther be any sense in that No And ther aint no
sense in this nuther Is it ketching«
»Is it ketching Why how you talk Is a harrow catching in the dark If
you dont hitch onto one tooth youre bound to on another aint you And you
cant get away with that tooth without fetching the whole harrow along can you
Well these kind of mumps is a kind of a harrow as you may say and it aint
no slouch of a harrow nuther you come to get it hitched on good«
»Well its awful I think« says the harelip »Ill go to Uncle Harvey and
«
»Oh yes« I says »I would Of course I would I wouldnt lose no time«
»Well why wouldnt you«
»Just look at it a minute and maybe you can see Haint your uncles
obleeged to get along home to England as fast as they can And do you reckon
theyd be mean enough to go off and leave you to go all that journey by
yourselves You know theyll wait for you So fur so good Your uncle Harveys
a preacher aint he Very well then is a preacher going to deceive a
steamboat clerk is he going to deceive a ship clerk so as to get them to let
Miss Mary Jane go aboard Now you know he aint What will he do then Why
hell say Its a great pity but my church matters has got to get along the best
way they can for my niece has been exposed to the dreadful pluribusunum mumps
and so its my bounden duty to set down here and wait the three months it takes
to show on her if shes got it But never mind if you think its best to tell
your uncle Harvey «
»Shucks and stay fooling around here when we could all be having good times
in England whilst we was waiting to find out whether Mary Janes got it or not
Why you talk like a muggins«
»Well anyway maybe you better tell some of the neighbors«
»Listen at that now You do beat all for natural stupidness Cant you see
that theyd go and tell Ther aint no way but just to not tell anybody at all
«
»Well maybe youre right yes I judge you are right«
»But I reckon we ought to tell Uncle Harvey shes gone out a while anyway
so he wont be uneasy about her«
»Yes Miss Mary Jane she wanted you to do that She says Tell them to give
Uncle Harvey and William my love and a kiss and say Ive run over the river to
see Mr Mr what is the name of that rich family your uncle Peter used to
think so much of I mean the one that «
»Why you must mean the Apthorps aint it«
»Of course bother them kind of names a body cant ever seem to remember
them half the time somehow Yes she said say she has run over for to ask the
Apthorps to be sure and come to the auction and buy this house because she
allowed her uncle Peter would ruther they had it than anybody else and shes
going to stick to them till they say theyll come and then if she aint too
tired shes coming home and if she is shell be home in the morning anyway
She said dont say nothing about the Proctors but only about the Apthorps
whichll be perfectly true because she is going there to speak about their
buying the house I know it because she told me so herself«
»All right« they said and cleared out to lay for their uncles and give
them the love and the kisses and tell them the message
Everything was all right now The girls wouldnt say nothing because they
wanted to go to England and the king and the duke would ruther Mary Jane was
off working for the auction than around in reach of Doctor Robinson I felt very
good I judged I had done it pretty neat I reckoned Tom Sawyer couldnt a done
it no neater himself Of course he would a throwed more style into it but I
cant do that very handy not being brung up to it
Well they held the auction in the public square along towards the end of
the afternoon and it strung along and strung along and the old man he was on
hand and looking his level piousest up there longside of the auctioneer and
chipping in a little Scripture now and then or a little goodygoody saying of
some kind and the duke he was around googooing for sympathy all he knowed how
and just spreading himself generly
But byandby the thing dragged through and everything was sold Everything
but a little old trifling lot in the graveyard So theyd got to work that off
I never see such a girafft as the king was for wanting to swallow everything
Well whilst they was at it a steamboat landed and in about two minutes up
comes a crowd a whooping and yelling and laughing and carrying on and singing
out
»Heres your opposition line heres your two sets o heirs to old Peter
Wilks and you pays your money and you takes your choice«
Chapter XXIX
They was fetching a very nice looking old gentleman along and a nice looking
younger one with his right arm in a sling And my souls how the people yelled
and laughed and kept it up But I didnt see no joke about it and I judged it
would strain the duke and the king some to see any I reckoned theyd turn pale
But no nary a pale did they turn The duke he never let on he suspicioned what
was up but just went a googooing around happy and satisfied like a jug
thats googling out buttermilk and as for the king he just gazed and gazed
down sorrowful on them newcomers like it give him the stomachache in his very
heart to think there could be such frauds and rascals in the world Oh he done
it admirable Lots of the principal people gethered around the king to let him
see they was on his side That old gentleman that had just come looked all
puzzled to death Pretty soon he begun to speak and I see straight off he
pronounced like an Englishman not the kings way though the kings was pretty
good for an imitation I cant give the old gents words nor I cant imitate
him but he turned around to the crowd and says about like this
»This is a surprise to me which I wasnt looking for and Ill acknowledge
candid and frank I aint very well fixed to meet it and answer it for my
brother and me has had misfortunes hes broke his arm and our baggage got put
off at a town above here last night in the night by a mistake I am Peter
Wilkss brother Harvey and this is his brother William which can't hear nor
speak and cant even make signs to amount to much now t hes only got one
hand to work them with We are who we say we are and in a day or two when I
get the baggage I can prove it But up till then I wont say nothing more
but go to the hotel and wait«
So him and the new dummy started off and the king he laughs and blethers
out
»Broke his arm very likely aint it and very convenient too for a
fraud thats got to make signs and haint learnt how Lost their baggage
Thats mighty good and mighty ingenious under the circumstances«
So he laughed again and so did everybody else except three or four or
maybe half a dozen One of these was that doctor another one was a sharp
looking gentleman with a carpetbag of the oldfashioned kind made out of
carpetstuff that had just come off of the steamboat and was talking to him in
a low voice and glancing towards the king now and then and nodding their heads
it was Levi Bell the lawyer that was gone up to Louisville and another one
was a big rough husky that come along and listened to all the old gentleman
said and was listening to the king now And when the king got done this husky
up and says
»Say looky here if you are Harvey Wilks whend you come to this town«
»The day before the funeral friend« says the king
»But what time o day«
»In the evenin bout an hour er two before sundown«
»Howd you come«
»I come down on the Susan Powell from Cincinnati«
»Well then howd you come to be up at the Pint in the mornin in a
canoe«
»I warnt up at the Pint in the mornin«
»Its a lie«
Several of them jumped for him and begged him not to talk that way to an old
man and a preacher
»Preacher be hanged hes a fraud and a liar He was up at the Pint that
mornin I live up there dont I Well I was up there and he was up there I
see him there He come in a canoe along with Tim Collins and a boy«
The doctor he up and says »Would you know the boy again if you was to see
him Hines«
»I reckon I would but I dont know Why yonder he is now I know him
perfectly easy«
It was me he pointed at The doctor says
»Neighbors I dont know whether the new couple is frauds or not but if
these two aint frauds I am an idiot thats all I think its our duty to see
that they dont get away from here till weve looked into this thing Come
along Hines come along the rest of you Well take these fellows to the
tavern and affront them with tother couple and I reckon well find out
something before we get through«
It was nuts for the crowd though maybe not for the kings friends so we
all started It was about sundown The doctor he led me along by the hand and
was plenty kind enough but he never let go my hand
We all got in a big room in the hotel and lit up some candles and fetched
in the new couple First the doctor says
»I dont wish to be too hard on these two men but I think theyre frauds
and they may have complices that we dont know nothing about If they have
wont the complices get away with that bag of gold Peter Wilks left It aint
unlikely If these men aint frauds they wont object to sending for that money
and letting us keep it till they prove theyre all right aint that so«
Everybody agreed to that So I judged they had our gang in a pretty tight
place right at the outstart But the king he only looked sorrowful and says
»Gentlemen I wish the money was there for I aint got no disposition to
throw anything in the way of a fair open outandout investigation o this
misable business but alas the money aint there you kn send and see if you
want to«
»Where is it then«
»Well when my niece give it to me to keep for her I took and hid it inside
o the straw tick o my bed not wishin to bank it for the few days wed be
here and considerin the bed a safe place we not bein used to niggers and
supposn em honest like servants in England The niggers stole it the very
next mornin after I had went down stairs and when I sold em I hadnt missed
the money yit so they got clean away with it My servant here kn tell you
bout it gentlemen«
The doctor and several said »Shucks« and I see nobody didnt altogether
believe him One man asked me if I see the niggers steal it I said no but I
see them sneaking out of the room and hustling away and I never thought
nothing only I reckoned they was afraid they had waked up my master and was
trying to get away before he made trouble with them That was all they asked me
Then the doctor whirls on me and says
»Are you English too«
I says yes and him and some others laughed and said »Stuff«
Well then they sailed in on the general investigation and there we had it
up and down hour in hour out and nobody never said a word about supper nor
ever seemed to think about it and so they kept it up and kept it up and it
was the worst mixedup thing you ever see They made the king tell his yarn and
they made the old gentleman tell hisn and anybody but a lot of prejudiced
chuckleheads would a seen that the old gentleman was spinning truth and tother
one lies And byandby they had me up to tell what I knowed The king he give
me a lefthanded look out of the corner of his eye and so I knowed enough to
talk on the right side I begun to tell about Sheffield and how we lived there
and all about the English Wilkses and so on but I didnt get pretty fur till
the doctor begun to laugh and Levi Bell the lawyer says
»Set down my boy I wouldnt strain myself if I was you I reckon you
aint used to lying it dont seem to come handy what you want is practice You
do it pretty awkward«
I didnt care nothing for the compliment but I was glad to be let off
anyway
The doctor he started to say something and turns and says
»If youd been in town at first Levi Bell «
The king broke in and reached out his hand and says
»Why is this my poor dead brothers old friend that hes wrote so often
about«
The lawyer and him shook hands and the lawyer smiled and looked pleased
and they talked right along a while and then got to one side and talked low
and at last the lawyer speaks up and says
»Thatll fix it Ill take the order and send it along with your brothers
and then theyll know its all right«
So they got some paper and a pen and the king he set down and twisted his
head to one side and chawed his tongue and scrawled off something and then
they give the pen to the duke and then for the first time the duke looked
sick But he took the pen and wrote So then the lawyer turns to the new old
gentleman and says
»You and your brother please write a line or two and sign your names«
The old gentleman wrote but nobody couldnt read it The lawyer looked
powerful astonished and says
»Well it beats me« and snaked a lot of old letters out of his pocket and
examined them and then examined the old mans writing and then them again and
then says »These old letters is from Harvey Wilks and heres these twos
handwritings and anybody can see they didnt write them« the king and the duke
looked sold and foolish I tell you to see how the lawyer had took them in
»and heres this old gentlemans handwriting and anybody can tell easy enough
he didnt write them fact is the scratches he makes aint properly writing
at all Now heres some letters from «
The new old gentleman says
»If you please let me explain Nobody can read my hand but my brother there
so he copies for me Its his hand youve got there not mine«
»Well« says the lawyer »this is a state of things Ive got some of
Williams letters too so if youll get him to write a line or so we can com «
»He cant write with his left hand« says the old gentleman »If he could
use his right hand you would see that he wrote his own letters and mine too
Look at both please theyre by the same hand«
The lawyer done it and says
»I believe its so and if it aint so theres a heap stronger resemblance
than Id noticed before anyway Well well well I thought we was right on the
track of a slution but its gone to grass partly But anyway one thing is
proved these two aint either of em Wilkses« and he wagged his head towards
the king and the duke
Well what do you think that muleheaded old fool wouldnt give in then
Indeed he wouldnt Said it warnt no fair test Said his brother William was
the cussedest joker in the world and hadnt tried to write he see William was
going to play one of his jokes the minute he put the pen to paper And so he
warmed up and went warbling and warbling right along till he was actuly
beginning to believe what he was saying himself but pretty soon the new old
gentleman broke in and says
»Ive thought of something Is there anybody here that helped to lay out my
br helped to lay out the late Peter Wilks for burying«
»Yes« says somebody »me and Ab Turner done it Were both here«
Then the old man turns towards the king and says
»Peraps this gentleman can tell me what was tatooed on his breast«
Blamed if the king didnt have to brace up mighty quick or hed a squshed
down like a bluff bank that the river has cut under it took him so sudden and
mind you it was a thing that was calculated to make most anybody sqush to get
fetched such a solid one as that without any notice because how was he going
to know what was tatooed on the man He whitened a little he couldnt help it
and it was mighty still in there and everybody bending a little forwards and
gazing at him Says I to myself Now hell throw up the sponge there aint no
more use Well did he A body cant hardly believe it but he didnt I reckon
he thought hed keep the thing up till he tired them people out so theyd thin
out and him and the duke could break loose and get away Anyway he set there
and pretty soon he begun to smile and says
»Mf Its a very tough question aint it Yes sir I kn tell you whats
tatooed on his breast Its jest a small thin blue arrow thats what it is
and if you dont look clost you cant see it Now what do you say hey«
Well I never see anything like that old blister for clean outandout
cheek
The new old gentleman turns brisk towards Ab Turner and his pard and his
eye lights up like he judged hed got the king this time and says
»There youve heard what he said Was there any such mark on Peter Wilkss
breast«
Both of them spoke up and says
»We didnt see no such mark«
»Good« says the old gentleman »Now what you did see on his breast was a
small dim P and a B which is an initial he dropped when he was young and a
W with dashes between them so P B W« and he marked them that way on a
piece of paper »Come aint that what you saw«
Both of them spoke up again and says
»No we didnt We never seen any marks at all«
Well everybody was in a state of mind now and they sings out
»The whole bilin of m s frauds Les duck em les drown em les ride
em on a rail« and everybody was whooping at once and there was a rattling
powwow But the lawyer he jumps on the table and yells and says
»Gentlemen gentlemen Hear me just a word just a single word if you
PLEASE Theres one way yet lets go and dig up the corpse and look«
That took them
»Hooray« they all shouted and was starting right off but the lawyer and
the doctor sung out
»Hold on hold on Collar all these four men and the boy and fetch them
along too«
»Well do it« they all shouted »and if we dont find them marks well
lynch the whole gang«
I was scared now I tell you But there warnt no getting away you know
They gripped us all and marched us right along straight for the graveyard
which was a mile and half down the river and the whole town at our heels for
we made noise enough and it was only nine in the evening
As we went by our house I wished I hadnt sent Mary Jane out of town
because now if I could tip her the wink shed light out and save me and blow
on our deadbeats
Well we swarmed along down the river road just carrying on like wildcats
and to make it more scary the sky was darking up and the lightning beginning
to wink and flitter and the wind to shiver amongst the leaves This was the
most awful trouble and most dangersome I ever was in and I was kinder stunned
everything was going so different from what I had allowed for stead of being
fixed so I could take my own time if I wanted to and see all the fun and have
Mary Jane at my back to save me and set me free when the closefit come here
was nothing in the world betwixt me and sudden death but just them tatoomarks
If they didnt find them
I couldnt bear to think about it and yet somehow I couldnt think about
nothing else It got darker and darker and it was a beautiful time to give the
crowd the slip but that big husky had me by the wrist Hines and a body
might as well try to give Goliar the slip He dragged me right along he was so
excited and I had to run to keep up
When they got there they swarmed into the graveyard and washed over it like
an overflow And when they got to the grave they found they had about a hundred
times as many shovels as they wanted but nobody hadnt thought to fetch a
lantern But they sailed into digging anyway by the flicker of the lightning
and sent a man to the nearest house a half a mile off to borrow one
So they dug and dug like everything and it got awful dark and the rain
started and the wind swished and swushed along and the lightning come brisker
and brisker and the thunder boomed but them people never took no notice of it
they was so full of this business and one minute you could see everything and
every face in that big crowd and the shovelfuls of dirt sailing up out of the
grave and the next second the dark wiped it all out and you couldnt see
nothing at all
At last they got out the coffin and begun to unscrew the lid and then such
another crowding and shouldering and shoving as there was to scrouge in and
get a sight you never see and in the dark that way it was awful Hines he
hurt my wrist dreadful pulling and tugging so and I reckon he clean forgot I
was in the world he was so excited and panting
All of a sudden the lightning let go a perfect sluice of white glare and
somebody sings out
»By the living jingo heres the bag of gold on his breast«
Hines let out a whoop like everybody else and dropped my wrist and give a
big surge to bust his way in and get a look and the way I lit out and shinned
for the road in the dark there aint nobody can tell
I had the road all to myself and I fairly flew leastways I had it all to
myself except the solid dark and the nowandthen glares and the buzzing of
the rain and the thrashing of the wind and the splitting of the thunder and
sure as you are born I did clip it along
When I struck the town I see there warnt nobody out in the storm so I
never hunted for no back streets but humped it straight through the main one
and when I begun to get towards our house I aimed my eye and set it No light
there the house all dark which made me feel sorry and disappointed I didnt
know why But at last just as I was sailing by flash comes the light in Mary
Janes window and my heart swelled up sudden like to bust and the same second
the house and all was behind me in the dark and wasnt ever going to be before
me no more in this world She was the best girl I ever see and had the most
sand
The minute I was far enough above the town to see I could make the towhead
I begun to look sharp for a boat to borrow and the first time the lightning
showed me one that wasnt chained I snatched it and shoved It was a canoe and
warnt fastened with nothing but a rope The towhead was a rattling big distance
off away out there in the middle of the river but I didnt lose no time and
when I struck the raft at last I was so fagged I would a just laid down to blow
and gasp if I could afforded it But I didnt As I sprung aboard I sung out
»Out with you Jim and set her loose Glory be to goodness were shut of
them«
Jim lit out and was a coming for me with both arms spread he was so full
of joy but when I glimpsed him in the lightning my heart shot up in my mouth
and I went overboard backwards for I forgot he was old King Lear and a drownded
Arab all in one and it most scared the livers and lights out of me But Jim
fished me out and was going to hug me and bless me and so on he was so glad I
was back and we was shut of the king and the duke but I says
»Not now have it for breakfast have it for breakfast Cut loose and let
her slide«
So in two seconds away we went a sliding down the river and it did seem
so good to be free again and all by ourselves on the big river and nobody to
bother us I had to skip around a bit and jump up and crack my heels a few
times I couldnt help it but about the third crack I noticed a sound that I
knowed mighty well and held my breath and listened and waited and sure
enough when the next flash busted out over the water here they come and
just a laying to their oars and making their skiff hum It was the king and the
duke
So I wilted right down onto the planks then and give up and it was all I
could do to keep from crying
Chapter XXX
When they got aboard the king went for me and shook me by the collar and
says
»Tryin to give us the slip was ye you pup Tired of our company hey«
I says
»No your majesty we warnt please dont your majesty«
»Quick then and tell us what was your idea or Ill shake the insides out
o you«
»Honest Ill tell you everything just as it happened your majesty The
man that had aholt of me was very good to me and kept saying he had a boy about
as big as me that died last year and he was sorry to see a boy in such a
dangerous fix and when they was all took by surprise by finding the gold and
made a rush for the coffin he lets go of me and whispers Heel it now or
theyll hang ye sure and I lit out It didnt seem no good for me to stay I
couldnt do nothing and I didnt want to be hung if I could get away So I
never stopped running till I found the canoe and when I got here I told Jim to
hurry or theyd catch me and hang me yet and said I was afeard you and the
duke wasnt alive now and I was awful sorry and so was Jim and was awful
glad when we see you coming you may ask Jim if I didnt«
Jim said it was so and the king told him to shut up and said »Oh yes
its mighty likely« and shook me up again and said he reckoned hed drownd me
But the duke says
»Leggo the boy you old idiot Would you a done any different Did you
inquire around for him when you got loose I dont remember it«
So the king let go of me and begun to cuss that town and everybody in it
But the duke says
»You better a blame sight give yourself a good cussing for youre the one
thats entitled to it most You haint done a thing from the start that had
any sense in it except coming out so cool and cheeky with that imaginary
bluearrow mark That was bright it was right down bully and it was the thing
that saved us For if it hadnt been for that theyd a jailed us till them
Englishmens baggage come and then the penitentiary you bet But that trick
took em to the graveyard and the gold done us a still bigger kindness for if
the excited fools hadnt let go all holts and made that rush to get a look wed
a slept in our cravats tonight cravats warranted to wear too longer than
wed need em«
They was still a minute thinking then the king says kind of
absentminded like
»Mf And we reckoned the niggers stole it«
That made me squirm
»Yes« says the duke kinder slow and deliberate and sarcastic »We did«
After about a half a minute the king drawls out
»Leastways I did«
The duke says the same way
»On the contrary I did«
The king kind of ruffles up and says
»Looky here Bilgewater whatr you referrin to«
The duke says pretty brisk
»When it comes to that maybe youll let me ask what was you referring to«
»Shucks« says the king very sarcastic »but I dont know maybe you was
asleep and didnt know what you was about«
The duke bristles right up now and says
»Oh let up on this cussed nonsense do you take me for a blame fool
Dont you reckon I know who hid that money in that coffin«
»Yes sir I know you do know because you done it your self«
»Its a lie« and the duke went for him The king sings out
»Take yr hands off leggo my throat I take it all back«
The duke says
»Well you just own up first that you did hide that money there intending
to give me the slip one of these days and come back and dig it up and have it
all to yourself«
»Wait jest a minute duke answer me this one question honest and fair if
you didnt put the money there say it and Ill blieve you and take back
everything I said«
»You old scoundrel I didnt and you know I didnt There now«
»Well then I blieve you But answer me only jest this one more now
dont git mad didnt you have it in your mind to hook the money and hide it«
The duke never said nothing for a little bit then he says
»Well I dont care if I did I didnt do it anyway But you not only had
it in mind to do it but you done it«
»I wisht I may never die if I done it duke and thats honest I wont say
I warnt goin to do it because I was but you I mean somebody got in ahead
o me«
»Its a lie You done it and you got to say you done it or «
The king begun to gurgle and then he gasps out
»Nough I own up«
I was very glad to hear him say that it made me feel much more easier than
what I was feeling before So the duke took his hands off and says
»If you ever deny it again Ill drown you Its well for you to set there
and blubber like a baby its fitten for you after the way youve acted I
never see such an old ostrich for wanting to gobble everything and I a
trusting you all the time like you was my own father You ought to been ashamed
of yourself to stand by and hear it saddled onto a lot of poor niggers and you
never say a word for em It makes me feel ridiculous to think I was soft enough
to believe that rubbage Cuss you I can see now why you was so anxious to
make up the deffesit you wanted to get what money Id got out of the Nonesuch
and one thing or another and scoop it all«
The king says timid and still a snuffling
»Why duke it was you that said make up the deffersit it warnt me«
»Dry up I dont want to hear no more out of you« says the duke »And now
you see what you got by it Theyve got all their own money back and all of
ourn but a shekel or two besides Glong to bed and dont you deffersit me no
more deffersits long s you live«
So the king sneaked into the wigwam and took to his bottle for comfort and
before long the duke tackled his bottle and so in about a half an hour they was
as thick as thieves again and the tighter they got the lovinger they got and
went off a snoring in each others arms They both got powerful mellow but I
noticed the king didnt get mellow enough to forget to remember to not deny
about hiding the moneybag again That made me feel easy and satisfied Of
course when they got to snoring we had a long gabble and I told Jim
everything
Chapter XXXI
We dasnt stop again at any town for days and days kept right along down the
river We was down south in the warm weather now and a mighty long ways from
home We begun to come to trees with Spanish moss on them hanging down from the
limbs like long gray beards It was the first I ever see it growing and it made
the woods look solemn and dismal So now the frauds reckoned they was out of
danger and they begun to work the villages again
First they done a lecture on temperance but they didnt make enough for
them both to get drunk on Then in another village they started a dancing
school but they didnt know no more how to dance than a kangaroo does so the
first prance they made the general public jumped in and pranced them out of
town Another time they tried a go at yellocution but they didnt yellocute
long till the audience got up and give them a solid good cussing and made them
skip out They tackled missionarying and mesmerizering and doctoring and
telling fortunes and a little of everything but they couldnt seem to have no
luck So at last they got just about dead broke and laid around the raft as
she floated along thinking and thinking and never saying nothing by the half
a day at a time and dreadful blue and desperate
And at last they took a change and begun to lay their heads together in the
wigwam and talk low and confidential two or three hours at a time Jim and me
got uneasy We didnt like the look of it We judged they was studying up some
kind of worse deviltry than ever We turned it over and over and at last we
made up our minds they was going to break into somebodys house or store or was
going into the counterfeitmoney business or something So then we was pretty
scared and made up an agreement that we wouldnt have nothing in the world to
do with such actions and if we ever got the least show we would give them the
cold shake and clear out and leave them behind Well early one morning we hid
the raft in a good safe place about two mile below a little bit of a shabby
village named Pikesville and the king he went ashore and told us all to stay
hid whilst he went up to town and smelt around to see if anybody had got any
wind of the Royal Nonesuch there yet »House to rob you mean« says I to
myself »and when you get through robbing it youll come back here and wonder
whats become of me and Jim and the raft and youll have to take it out in
wondering« And he said if he warnt back by midday the duke and me would know
it was all right and we was to come along
So we staid where was was The duke he fretted and sweated around and was
in a mighty sour way He scolded us for everything and we couldnt seem to do
nothing right he found fault with every little thing Something was abrewing
sure I was good and glad when midday come and no king we could have a change
anyway and maybe a chance for the change on top of it So me and the duke
went up to the village and hunted around there for the king and byandby we
found him in the back room of a little low doggery very tight and a lot of
loafers bullyragging him for sport and he a cussing and threatening with all
his might and so tight he couldnt walk and couldnt do nothing to them The
duke he began to abuse him for an old fool and the king begun to sass back and
the minute they was fairly at it I lit out and shook the reefs out of my hind
legs and spun down the river road like a deer for I see our chance and I
made up my mind that it would be a long day before they ever see me and Jim
again I got down there all out of breath but loaded up with joy and sung out
»Set her loose Jim were all right now«
But there warnt no answer and nobody come out of the wigwam Jim was gone
I set up a shout and then another and then another one and run this way and
that in the woods whooping and screeching but it warnt no use old Jim was
gone Then I set down and cried I couldnt help it But I couldnt set still
long Pretty soon I went out on the road trying to think what I better do and
I run across a boy walking and asked him if hed seen a strange nigger dressed
so and so and he says
»Yes«
»Wherebouts« says I
»Down to Silas Phelpss place two mile below here Hes a runaway nigger
and theyve got him Was you looking for him«
»You bet I aint I run across him in the woods about an hour or two ago
and he said if I hollered hed cut my livers out and told me to lay down and
stay where I was and I done it Been there ever since afeard to come out«
»Well« he says »you neednt be afeard no more becuz theyve got him He
run off fm down South somers«
»Its a good job they got him«
»Well I reckon Theres two hunderd dollars reward on him Its like
picking up money outn the road«
»Yes it is and I could a had it if Id been big enough I see him first
Who nailed him«
»It was an old fellow a stranger and he sold out his chance in him for
forty dollars becuz hes got to go up the river and cant wait Think o that
now You bet Id wait if it was seven year«
»Thats me every time« says I »But maybe his chance aint worth no more
than that if hell sell it so cheap Maybe theres something aint straight
about it«
»But it is though straight as a string I see the handbill myself It
tells all about him to a dot paints him like a picture and tells the
plantation hes frum below Newrleans Nosirreebob they aint no trouble
bout that speculation you bet you Say gimme a chaw tobacker wont ye«
I didnt have none so he left I went to the raft and set down in the
wigwam to think But I couldnt come to nothing I thought till I wore my head
sore but I couldnt see no way out of the trouble After all this long journey
and after all wed done for them scoundrels here was it all come to nothing
everything all busted up and ruined because they could have the heart to serve
Jim such a trick as that and make him a slave again all his life and amongst
strangers too for forty dirty dollars
Once I said to myself it would be a thousand times better for Jim to be a
slave at home where his family was as long as hed got to be a slave and so
Id better write a letter to Tom Sawyer and tell him to tell Miss Watson where
he was But I soon give up that notion for two things shed be mad and
disgusted at his rascality and ungratefulness for leaving her and so shed sell
him straight down the river again and if she didnt everybody naturally
despises an ungrateful nigger and theyd make Jim feel it all the time and so
hed feel ornery and disgraced And then think of me It would get all around
that Huck Finn helped a nigger to get his freedom and if I was to ever see
anybody from that town again Id be ready to get down and lick his boots for
shame Thats just the way a person does a lowdown thing and then he dont
want to take no consequences of it Thinks as long as he can hide it it aint
no disgrace That was my fix exactly The more I studied about this the more my
conscience went to grinding me and the more wicked and lowdown and ornery I
got to feeling And at last when it hit me all of a sudden that here was the
plain hand of Providence slapping me in the face and letting me know my
wickedness was being watched all the time from up there in heaven whilst I was
stealing a poor old womans nigger that hadnt ever done me no harm and now was
showing me theres One thats always on the lookout and aint agoing to allow
no such miserable doings to go only just so fur and no further I most dropped
in my tracks I was so scared Well I tried the best I could to kinder soften it
up somehow for myself by saying I was brung up wicked and so I warnt so much
to blame but something inside of me kept saying »There was the Sunday school
you could a gone to it and if youd a done it theyd a learnt you there that
people that acts as Id been acting about that nigger goes to everlasting fire«
It made me shiver And I about made up my mind to pray and see if I
couldnt try to quit being the kind of a boy I was and be better So I kneeled
down But the words wouldnt come Why wouldnt they It warnt no use to try
and hide it from Him Nor from me neither I knowed very well why they wouldnt
come It was because my heart warnt right it was because I warnt square it
was because I was playing double I was letting on to give up sin but away
inside of me I was holding on to the biggest one of all I was trying to make my
mouth say I would do the right thing and the clean thing and go and write to
that niggers owner and tell where he was but deep down in me I knowed it was a
lie and He knowed it You cant pray a lie I found that out
So I was full of trouble full as I could be and didnt know what to do At
last I had an idea and I says Ill go and write the letter and then see if I
can pray Why it was astonishing the way I felt as light as a feather right
straight off and my troubles all gone So I got a piece of paper and a pencil
all glad and excited and set down and wrote
Miss Watson your runaway nigger Jim is down here two mile below
Pikesville and Mr Phelps has got him and he will give him up for the
reward if you send
HUCK FINN
I felt good and all washed clean of sin for the first time I had ever felt so in
my life and I knowed I could pray now But I didnt do it straight off but
laid the paper down and set there thinking thinking how good it was all this
happened so and how near I come to being lost and going to hell And went on
thinking And got to thinking over our trip down the river and I see Jim before
me all the time in the day and in the nighttime sometimes moonlight
sometimes storms and we a floating along talking and singing and laughing
But somehow I couldnt seem to strike no places to harden me against him but
only the other kind Id see him standing my watch on top of hisn stead of
calling me so I could go on sleeping and see him how glad he was when I come
back out of the fog and when I come to him again in the swamp up there where
the feud was and suchlike times and would always call me honey and pet me
and do everything he could think of for me and how good he always was and at
last I struck the time I saved him by telling the men we had smallpox aboard
and he was so grateful and said I was the best friend old Jim ever had in the
world and the only one hes got now and then I happened to look around and
see that paper
It was a close place I took it up and held it in my hand I was a
trembling because Id got to decide forever betwixt two things and I knowed
it I studied a minute sort of holding my breath and then says to myself
»All right then Ill go to hell« and tore it up
It was awful thoughts and awful words but they was said And I let them
stay said and never thought no more about reforming I shoved the whole thing
out of my head and said I would take up wickedness again which was in my line
being brung up to it and the other warnt And for a starter I would go to
work and steal Jim out of slavery again and if I could think up anything worse
I would do that too because as long as I was in and in for good I might as
well go the whole hog
Then I set to thinking over how to get at it and turned over considerable
many ways in my mind and at last fixed up a plan that suited me So then I took
the bearings of a woody island that was down the river a piece and as soon as
it was fairly dark I crept out with my raft and went for it and hid it there
and then turned in I slept the night through and got up before it was light
and had my breakfast and put on my store clothes and tied up some others and
one thing or another in a bundle and took the canoe and cleared for shore I
landed below where I judged was Phelpss place and hid my bundle in the woods
and then filled up the canoe with water and loaded rocks into her and sunk her
where I could find her again when I wanted her about a quarter of a mile below
a little steam sawmill that was on the bank
Then I struck up the road and when I passed the mill I see a sign on it
»Phelpss Sawmill« and when I come to the farmhouses two or three hundred
yards further along I kept my eyes peeled but didnt see nobody around though
it was good daylight now But I didnt mind because I didnt want to see
nobody just yet I only wanted to get the lay of the land According to my
plan I was going to turn up there from the village not from below So I just
took a look and shoved along straight for town Well the very first man I
see when I got there was the duke He was sticking up a bill for the Royal
Nonesuch threenight performance like that other time They had the cheek
them frauds I was right on him before I could shirk He looked astonished and
says
»Hello Whered you come from« Then he says kind of glad and eager
»Wheres the raft got her in a good place«
I says
»Why thats just what I was a going to ask your grace«
Then he didnt look so joyful and says
»What was your idea for asking me« he says
»Well« I says »when I see the king in that doggery yesterday I says to
myself we cant get him home for hours till hes soberer so I went a loafing
around town to put in the time and wait A man up and offered me ten cents to
help him pull a skiff over the river and back to fetch a sheep and so I went
along but when we was dragging him to the boat and the man left me aholt of
the rope and went behind him to shove him along he was too strong for me and
jerked loose and run and we after him We didnt have no dog and so we had to
chase him all over the country till we tired him out We never got him till
dark then we fetched him over and I started down for the raft When I got
there and see it was gone I says to myself theyve got into trouble and had to
leave and theyve took my nigger which is the only nigger Ive got in the
world and now Im in a strange country and aint got no property no more nor
nothing and no way to make my living so I set down and cried I slept in the
woods all night But what did become of the raft then and Jim poor Jim«
»Blamed if I know that is whats become of the raft That old fool had
made a trade and got forty dollars and when we found him in the doggery the
loafers had matched half dollars with him and got every cent but what hed spent
for whisky and when I got him home late last night and found the raft gone we
said That little rascal has stole our raft and shook us and run off down the
river«
»I wouldnt shake my nigger would I the only nigger I had in the world
and the only property«
»We never thought of that Fact is I reckon wed come to consider him our
nigger yes we did consider him so goodness knows we had trouble enough for
him So when we see the raft was gone and we flat broke there warnt anything
for it but to try the Royal Nonesuch another shake And Ive pegged along ever
since dry as a powderhorn Wheres that ten cents Give it here«
I had considerable money so I give him ten cents but begged him to spend
it for something to eat and give me some because it was all the money I had
and I hadnt had nothing to eat since yesterday He never said nothing The next
minute he whirls on me and says
»Do you reckon that nigger would blow on us Wed skin him if he done that«
»How can he blow Haint he run off«
»No That old fool sold him and never divided with me and the moneys
gone«
»Sold him« I says and begun to cry »why he was my nigger and that was
my money Where is he I want my nigger«
»Well you cant get your nigger thats all so dry up your blubbering
Looky here do you think youd venture to blow on us Blamed if I think Id
trust you Why if you was to blow on us «
He stopped but I never see the duke look so ugly out of his eyes before I
went on awhimpering and says
»I dont want to blow on nobody and I aint got no time to blow nohow I
got to turn out and find my nigger«
He looked kinder bothered and stood there with his bills fluttering on his
arm thinking and wrinkling up his forehead At last he says
»Ill tell you something We got to be here three days If youll promise
you wont blow and wont let the nigger blow Ill tell you where to find him«
So I promised and he says
»A farmer by the name of Silas Ph« and then he stopped You see he started
to tell me the truth but when he stopped that way and begun to study and
think again I reckoned he was changing his mind And so he was He wouldnt
trust me he wanted to make sure of having me out of the way the whole three
days So pretty soon he says »The man that bought him is named Abram Foster
Abram G Foster and he lives forty mile back here in the country on the road
to Lafayette«
»All right« I says »I can walk it in three days And Ill start this very
afternoon«
»No you wont youll start now and dont you lose any time about it
neither nor do any gabbling by the way Just keep a tight tongue in your head
and move right along and then you wont get into trouble with us dye hear«
That was the order I wanted and that was the one I played for I wanted to
be left free to work my plans
»So clear out« he says »and you can tell Mr Foster whatever you want to
Maybe you can get him to believe that Jim is your nigger some idiots dont
require documents leastways Ive heard theres such down South here And when
you tell him the handbill and the rewards bogus maybe hell believe you when
you explain to him what the idea was for getting em out Go long now and
tell him anything you want to but mind you dont work your jaw any between here
and there«
So I left and struck for the back country I didnt look around but I
kinder felt like he was watching me But I knowed I could tire him out at that
I went straight out in the country as much as a mile before I stopped then I
doubled back through the woods towards Phelpss I reckoned I better start in on
my plan straight off without fooling around because I wanted to stop Jims
mouth till these fellows could get away I didnt want no trouble with their
kind Id seen all I wanted to of them and wanted to get entirely shut of them
Chapter XXXII
When I got there it was all still and Sundaylike and hot and sunshiny the
hands was gone to the fields and there was them kind of faint dronings of bugs
and flies in the air that makes it seem so lonesome and like everybodys dead
and gone and if a breeze fans along and quivers the leaves it makes you feel
mournful because you feel like its spirits whispering spirits thats been
dead ever so many years and you always think theyre talking about you As a
general thing it makes a body wish he was dead too and done with it all
Phelpss was one of these little onehorse cotton plantations and they all
look alike A rail fence round a twoacre yard a stile made out of logs sawed
off and upended in steps like barrels of a different length to climb over
the fence with and for the women to stand on when they are going to jump onto a
horse some sickly grasspatches in the big yard but mostly it was bare and
smooth like an old hat with the nap rubbed off big double log house for the
white folks hewed logs with the chinks stopped up with mud or mortar and
these mudstripes been whitewashed some time or another roundlog kitchen with
a big broad open but roofed passage joining it to the house log smokehouse
back of the kitchen three little log niggercabins in a row tother side the
smokehouse one little hut all by itself away down against the back fence and
some outbuildings down a piece the other side ashhopper and big kettle to
bile soap in by the little hut bench by the kitchen door with bucket of water
and a gourd hound asleep there in the sun more hounds asleep round about
about three shadetrees away off in a corner some currant bushes and gooseberry
bushes in one place by the fence outside of the fence a garden and a
watermelon patch then the cotton fields begins and after the fields the
woods
I went around and clumb over the back stile by the ashhopper and started
for the kitchen When I got a little ways I heard the dim hum of a
spinningwheel wailing along up and sinking along down again and then I knowed
for certain I wished I was dead for that is the lonesomest sound in the whole
world
I went right along not fixing up any particular plan but just trusting to
Providence to put the right words in my mouth when the time come for Id
noticed mat Providence always did put the right words in my mouth if I left it
alone
When I got halfway first one hound and then another got up and went for
me and of course I stopped and faced them and kept still And such another
powwow as they made In a quarter of a minute I was a kind of a hub of a wheel
as you may say spokes made out of dogs circle of fifteen of them packed
together around me with their necks and noses stretched up towards me a
barking and howling and more a coming you could see them sailing over fences
and around corners from everywheres
A nigger woman come tearing out of the kitchen with a rollingpin in her
hand singing out »Begone you Tige you Spot begone sah« and she fetched
first one and then another of them a clip and sent him howling and then the
rest followed and the next second half of them come back wagging their tails
around me and making friends with me There aint no harm in a hound nohow
And behind the woman comes a little nigger girl and two little nigger boys
without anything on but towlinen shirts and they hung onto their mothers
gown and peeped out from behind her at me bashful the way they always do And
here comes the white woman running from the house about fortyfive or fifty
year old bareheaded and her spinningstick in her hand and behind her comes
her little white children acting the same way the little niggers was doing She
was smiling all over so she could hardly stand and says
»Its you at last aint it«
I out with a »Yesm« before I thought
She grabbed me and hugged me tight and then gripped me by both hands and
shook and shook and the tears come in her eyes and run down over and she
couldnt seem to hug and shake enough and kept saying »You dont look as much
like your mother as I reckoned you would but law sakes I dont care for that
Im so glad to see you Dear dear it does seem like I could eat you up
Childern its your cousin Tom tell him howdy«
But they ducked their heads and put their fingers in their mouths and hid
behind her So she run on
»Lize hurry up and get him a hot breakfast right away or did you get
your breakfast on the boat«
I said I had got it on the boat So then she started for the house leading
me by the hand and the children tagging after When we got there she set me
down in a splitbottomed chair and set herself down on a little low stool in
front of me holding both of my hands and says
»Now I can have a good look at you and lawsame Ive been hungry for it a
many and a many a time all these long years and its come at last We been
expecting you a couple of days and more Whats kep you boat get aground«
»Yesm she «
»Dont say yesm say Aunt Sally Whered she get aground«
I didnt rightly know what to say because I didnt know whether the boat
would be coming up the river or down But I go a good deal on instinct and my
instinct said she would be coming up from down towards Orleans That didnt
help me much though for I didnt know the names of bars down that way I see
Id got to invent a bar or forget the name of the one we got aground on or
Now I struck an idea and fetched it out
»It warnt the grounding that didnt keep us back but a little We blowed
out a cylinderhead«
»Good gracious Anybody hurt«
»Nom Killed a nigger«
»Well its lucky because sometimes people do get hurt Two years ago last
Christmas your uncle Silas was coming up from Newrleans on the old Lally Rook
and she blowed out a cylinderhead and crippled a man And I think he died
afterwards He was a Babtist Your uncle Silas knowed a family in Bator Rouge
that knowed his people very well Yes I remember now he did die Mortification
set in and they had to amputate him But it didnt save him Yes it was
mortification that was it He turned blue all over and died in the hope of a
glorious resurrection They say he was a sight to look at Your uncles been up
to the town every day to fetch you And hes gone again not moren an hour ago
hell be back any minute now You must a met him on the road didnt you
oldish man with a «
»No I didnt see nobody Aunt Sally The boat landed just at daylight and
I left my baggage on the wharfboat and went looking around the town and out a
piece in the country to put in the time and not get here too soon and so I
come down the back way«
»Whod you give the baggage to«
»Nobody«
»Why child itll be stole«
»Not where I hid it I reckon it wont« I says
»Howd you get your breakfast so early on the boat«
It was kinder thin ice but I says
»The captain see me standing around and told me I better have something to
eat before I went ashore so he took me in the texas to the officers lunch and
give me all I wanted«
I was getting so uneasy I couldnt listen good I had my mind on the
children all the time I wanted to get them out to one side and pump them a
little and find out who I was But I couldnt get no show Mrs Phelps kept it
up and run on so Pretty soon she made the cold chills streak all down my back
because she says
»But here were a running on this way and you haint told me a word about
Sis nor any of them Now Ill rest my works a little and you start up yourn
just tell me everything tell me all about m all every one of m and how
they are and what theyre doing and what they told you to tell me and every
last thing you can think of«
Well I see I was up a stump and up it good Providence had stood by me
this fur all right but I was hard and tight aground now I see it warnt a
bit of use to try to go ahead Id got to throw up my hand So I says to
myself heres another place where I got to resk the truth I opened my mouth to
begin but she grabbed me and hustled me in behind the bed and says
»Here he comes stick your head down lower there thatll do you cant be
seen now Dont you let on youre here Ill play a joke on him Childern
dont you say a word«
I see I was in a fix now But it warnt no use to worry there warnt
nothing to do but just hold still and try and be ready to stand from under when
the lightning struck
I had just one little glimpse of the old gentleman when he come in then the
bed hid him Mrs Phelps she jumps for him and says
»Has he come«
»No« says her husband
»Goodness gracious« she says »what in the world can have become of him«
»I cant imagine« says the old gentleman »and I must say it makes me
dreadful uneasy«
»Uneasy« she says »Im ready to go distracted He must a come and youve
missed him along the road I know its so something tells me so«
»Why Sally I couldnt miss him along the road you know that«
»But oh dear dear what will Sis say He must a come You must a missed
him He «
»Oh dont distress me any moren Im already distressed I dont know what
in the world to make of it Im at my wits end and I dont mind acknowledging
t Im right down scared But theres no hope that hes come for he couldnt
come and me miss him Sally its terrible just terrible somethings
happened to the boat sure«
»Why Silas Look yonder up the road aint that somebody coming«
He sprung to the window at the head of the bed and that give Mrs Phelps
the chance she wanted She stooped down quick at the foot of the bed and give
me a pull and out I come and when he turned back from the window there she
stood abeaming and asmiling like a house afire and I standing pretty meek
and sweaty alongside The old gentleman stared and says
»Why whos that«
»Who do you reckon t is«
»I haint no idea Who is it«
»Its Tom Sawyer«
By jings I most slumped through the floor But there warnt no time to swap
knives the old man grabbed me by the hand and shook and kept on shaking and
all the time how the woman did dance around and laugh and cry and then how
they both did fire off questions about Sid and Mary and the rest of the tribe
But if they was joyful it warnt nothing to what I was for it was like
being born again I was so glad to find out who I was Well they froze to me
for two hours and at last when my chin was so tired it couldnt hardly go any
more I had told them more about my family I mean the Sawyer family than
ever happened to any six Sawyer families And I explained all about how we
blowed out a cylinderhead at the mouth of White River and it took us three days
to fix it Which was all right and worked first rate because they didnt know
but what it would take three days to fix it If Id a called it a bolthead it
would a done just as well
Now I was feeling pretty comfortable all down one side and pretty
uncomfortable all up the other Being Tom Sawyer was easy and comfortable and
it stayed easy and comfortable till byandby I hear a steamboat coughing along
down the river then I says to myself spose Tom Sawyer come down on that boat
and spose he steps in here any minute and sings out my name before I can
throw him a wink to keep quiet Well I couldnt have it that way it wouldnt
do at all I must go up the road and waylay him So I told the folks I reckoned
I would go up to the town and fetch down my baggage The old gentleman was for
going along with me but I said no I could drive the horse myself and I
druther he wouldnt take no trouble about me
Chapter XXXIII
So I started for town in the wagon and when I was halfway I see a wagon
coming and sure enough it was Tom Sawyer and I stopped and waited till he come
along I says »Hold on« and it stopped alongside and his mouth opened up like
a trunk and staid so and he swallowed two or three times like a person thats
got a dry throat and then says
»I haint ever done you no harm You know that So then what you want to
come back and hant me for«
I says
»I haint come back I haint been gone«
When he heard my voice it righted him up some but he warnt quite
satisfied yet He says
»Dont you play nothing on me because I wouldnt on you Honest injun now
you aint a ghost«
»Honest injun I aint« I says
»Well I I well that ought to settle it of course but I cant
somehow seem to understand it no way Looky here warnt you ever murdered at
all«
»No I warnt ever murdered at all I played it on them You come in here
and feel of me if you dont believe me«
So he done it and it satisfied him and he was that glad to see me again
he didnt know what to do And he wanted to know all about it right off because
it was a grand adventure and mysterious and so it hit him where he lived But
I said leave it alone till byandby and told his driver to wait and we drove
off a little piece and I told him the kind of a fix I was in and what did he
reckon we better do He said let him alone a minute and dont disturb him So
he thought and thought and pretty soon he says
»Its all right Ive got it Take my trunk in your wagon and let on its
yourn and you turn back and fool along slow so as to get to the house about
the time you ought to and Ill go towards town a piece and take a fresh start
and get there a quarter or a half an hour after you and you neednt let on to
know me at first«
I says
»All right but wait a minute Theres one more thing a thing that nobody
dont know but me And that is theres a nigger here that Im a trying to steal
out of slavery and his name is Jim old Miss Watsons Jim«
He says
»What Why Jim is «
He stopped and went to studying I says
»I know what youll say Youll say its dirty lowdown business but what
if it is Im low down and Im agoing to steal him and I want you to keep
mum and not let on Will you«
His eye lit up and he says
»Ill help you steal him«
Well I let go all holts then like I was shot It was the most astonishing
speech I ever heard and Im bound to say Tom Sawyer fell considerable in my
estimation Only I couldnt believe it Tom Sawyer a nigger stealer
»Oh shucks« I says »youre joking«
»I aint joking either«
»Well then« I says »joking or no joking if you hear anything said about
a runaway nigger dont forget to remember that you dont know nothing about
him and I dont know nothing about him«
Then we took the trunk and put it in my wagon and he drove off his way and
I drove mine But of course I forgot all about driving slow on accounts of
being glad and full of thinking so I got home a heap too quick for that length
of a trip The old gentleman was at the door and he says
»Why this is wonderful Who ever would a thought it was in that mare to do
it I wish wed a timed her And she haint sweated a hair not a hair Its
wonderful Why I wouldnt take a hunderd dollars for that horse now I
wouldnt honest and yet Id a sold her for fifteen before and thought twas
all she was worth«
Thats all he said He was the innocentest best old soul I ever see But it
warnt surprising because he warnt only just a farmer he was a preacher too
and had a little onehorse log church down back of the plantation which he
built it himself at his own expense for a church and schoolhouse and never
charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too There was plenty
other farmerpreachers like that and done the same way down South
In about half an hour Toms wagon drove up to the front stile and Aunt
Sally she see it through the window because it was only about fifty yards and
says
»Why theres somebody come I wonder who tis Why I do believe its a
stranger Jimmy« thats one of the children »run and tell Lize to put on
another plate for dinner«
Everybody made a rush for the front door because of course a stranger
dont come every year and so he lays over the yaller fever for interest when
he does come Tom was over the stile and starting for the house the wagon was
spinning up the road for the village and we was all bunched in the front door
Tom had his store clothes on and an audience and that was always nuts for Tom
Sawyer In them circumstances it warnt no trouble to him to throw in an amount
of style that was suitable He warnt a boy to meeky along up that yard like a
sheep no he come cam and important like the ram When he got afront of us
he lifts his hat ever so gracious and dainty like it was the lid of a box that
had butterflies asleep in it and he didnt want to disturb them and says
»Mr Archibald Nichols I presume«
»No my boy« says the old gentleman »Im sorry to say t your driver has
deceived you Nicholss place is down a matter of three mile more Come in come
in«
Tom he took a look back over his shoulder and says »Too late hes out of
sight«
»Yes hes gone my son and you must come in and eat your dinner with us
and then well hitch up and take you down to Nicholss«
»Oh I cant make you so much trouble I couldnt think of it Ill walk I
dont mind the distance«
»But we wont let you walk it wouldnt be Southern hospitality to do it
Come right in«
»Oh do« says Aunt Sally »it aint a bit of trouble to us not a bit in
the world You must stay Its a long dusty three mile and we cant let you
walk And besides Ive already told em to put on another plate when I see you
coming so you mustnt disappoint us Come right in and make yourself at home«
So Tom he thanked them very hearty and handsome and let himself be
persuaded and come in and when he was in he said he was a stranger from
Hicksville Ohio and his name was William Thompson and he made another bow
Well he run on and on and on making up stuff about Hicksville and
everybody in it he could invent and I getting a little nervious and wondering
how this was going to help me out of my scrape and at last still talking
along he reached over and kissed Aunt Sally right on the mouth and then
settled back again in his chair comfortable and was going on talking but she
jumped up and wiped it off with the back of her hand and says
»You owdacious puppy«
He looked kind of hurt and says
»Im surprised at you mam«
»Youre srp Why what do you reckon I am Ive a good notion to take and
say what do you mean by kissing me«
He looked kind of humble and says
»I didnt mean nothing mam I didnt mean no harm I I thought youd
like it«
»Why you born fool« She took up the spinningstick and it looked like it
was all she could do to keep from giving him a crack with it »What made you
think Id like it«
»Well I dont know Only they they told me you would«
»They told you I would Whoever told yous another lunatic I never heard
the beat of it Whos they«
»Why everybody They all said so mam«
It was all she could do to hold in and her eyes snapped and her fingers
worked like she wanted to scratch him and she says
»Whos everybody Out with their names or therll be an idiot short«
He got up and looked distressed and fumbled his hat and says
»Im sorry and I warnt expecting it They told me to They all told me to
They all said kiss her and said shell like it They all said it every one of
them But Im sorry mam and I wont do it no more I wont honest«
»You wont wont you Well I shd reckon you wont«
»Nom Im honest about it I wont ever do it again Till you ask me«
»Till I ask you Well I never see the beat of it in my born days I lay
youll be the Methusalemnumskull of creation before ever I ask you or the
likes of you«
»Well« he says »it does surprise me so I cant make it out somehow They
said you would and I thought you would But « He stopped and looked around
slow like he wished he could run across a friendly eye somewheres and
fetched up on the old gentlemans and says »Didnt you think shed like me to
kiss her sir«
»Why no I I well no I blieve I didnt«
Then he looks on around the same way to me and says
»Tom didnt you think Aunt Sally d open out her arms and say Sid Sawyer
«
»My land« she says breaking in and jumping for him »you impudent young
rascal to fool a body so « and was going to hug him but he fended her off
and says
»No not till youve asked me first«
So she didnt lose no time but asked him and hugged him and kissed him
over and over again and then turned him over to the old man and he took what
was left And after they got a little quiet again she says
»Why dear me I never see such a surprise We warnt looking for you at
all but only Tom Sis never wrote to me about anybody coming but him«
»Its because it warnt intended for any of us to come but Tom« he says
»but I begged and begged and at the last minute she let me come too so
coming down the river me and Tom thought it would be a firstrate surprise for
him to come here to the house first and for me to byandby tag along and drop
in and let on to be a stranger But it was a mistake Aunt Sally This aint no
healthy place for a stranger to come«
»No not impudent whelps Sid You ought to had your jaws boxed I haint
been so put out since I dont know when But I dont care I dont mind the
terms Id be willing to stand a thousand such jokes to have you here Well to
think of that performance I dont deny it I was most putrified with
astonishment when you give me that smack«
We had dinner out in that broad open passage betwixt the house and the
kitchen and there was things enough on that table for seven families and all
hot too none of your flabby tough meat thats laid in a cupboard in a damp
cellar all night and tastes like a hunk of old cold cannibal in the morning
Uncle Silas he asked a pretty long blessing over it but it was worth it and it
didnt cool it a bit neither the way Ive seen them kind of interruptions do
lots of times
There was a considerable good deal of talk all the afternoon and me and
Tom was on the lookout all the time but it warnt no use they didnt happen to
say nothing about any runaway nigger and we was afraid to try to work up to it
But at supper at night one of the little boys says
»Pa maynt Tom and Sid and me go to the show«
»No« says the old man »I reckon there aint going to be any and you
couldnt go if there was because the runaway nigger told Burton and me all
about that scandalous show and Burton said he would tell the people so I
reckon theyve drove the owdacious loafers out of town before this time«
So there it was but I couldnt help it Tom and me was to sleep in the
same room and bed so being tired we bid goodnight and went up to bed right
after supper and clumb out of the window and down the lightningrod and shoved
for the town for I didnt believe anybody was going to give the king and the
duke a hint and so if I didnt hurry up and give them one theyd get into
trouble sure
On the road Tom he told me all about how it was reckoned I was murdered and
how pap disappeared pretty soon and didnt come back no more and what a stir
there was when Jim run away and I told Tom all about our Royal Nonesuch
rapscallions and as much of the raftvoyage as I had time to and as we struck
into the town and up through the middle of it it was as much as halfafter
eight then here comes a raging rush of people with torches and an awful
whooping and yelling and banging tin pans and blowing horns and we jumped to
one side to let them go by and as they went by I see they had the king and the
duke astraddle of a rail that is I knowed it was the king and the duke
though they was all over tar and feathers and didnt look like nothing in the
world that was human just looked like a couple of monstrous big
soldierplumes Well it made me sick to see it and I was sorry for them poor
pitiful rascals it seemed like I couldnt ever feel any hardness against them
any more in the world It was a dreadful thing to see Human beings can be awful
cruel to one another.
We see we was too late couldnt do no good We asked some stragglers about
it and they said everybody went to the show looking very innocent and laid low
and kept dark till the poor old king was in the middle of his cavortings on the
stage then somebody give a signal and the house rose up and went for them
So we poked along back home and I warnt feeling so brash as I was before
but kind of ornery and humble and to blame somehow though I hadnt done
nothing But thats always the way it dont make no difference whether you do
right or wrong a persons conscience aint got no sense and just goes for him
anyway If I had a yaller dog that didnt know no more than a persons
conscience does I would pison him It takes up more room than all the rest of a
persons insides and yet aint no good nohow Tom Sawyer he says the same
Chapter XXXIV
We stopped talking and got to thinking
Byandby Tom says
»Looky here Huck what fools we are to not think of it before I bet I
know where Jim is«
»No Where«
»In that hut down by the ashhopper Why looky here When we was at dinner
didnt you see a nigger man go in there with some vittles«
»Yes«
»What did you think the vittles was for«
»For a dog«
»Sod I Well it wasnt for a dog«
»Why«
»Because part of it was watermelon«
»So it was I noticed it Well it does beat all that I never thought
about a dog not eating watermelon It shows how a body can see and dont see at
the same time«
»Well the nigger unlocked the padlock when he went in and he locked it
again when he come out He fetched uncle a key about the time we got up from
table same key I bet Watermelon shows man lock shows prisoner and it aint
likely theres two prisoners on such a little plantation and where the peoples
all so kind and good Jims the prisoner All right Im glad we found it out
detective fashion I wouldnt give shucks for any other way Now you work your
mind and study out a plan to steal Jim and I will study out one too and well
take the one we like the best«
What a head for just a boy to have If I had Tom Sawyers head I wouldnt
trade it off to be a duke nor mate of a steamboat nor clown in a circus nor
nothing I can think of I went to thinking out a plan but only just to be doing
something I knowed very well where the right plan was going to come from
Pretty soon Tom says
»Ready«
»Yes« I says
»All right bring it out«
»My plan is this« I says »We can easy find out if its Jim in there Then
get up my canoe tomorrow night and fetch my raft over from the island Then
the first dark night that comes steal the key out of the old mans britches
after he goes to bed and shove off down the river on the raft with Jim hiding
daytimes and running nights the way me and Jim used to do before Wouldnt that
plan work«
»Work Why certnly it would work like rats a fighting But its too
blame simple there aint nothing to it Whats the good of a plan that aint
no more trouble than that Its as mild as goosemilk Why Huck it wouldnt
make no more talk than breaking into a soap factory«
I never said nothing because I warnt expecting nothing different but I
knowed mighty well that whenever he got his plan ready it wouldnt have none of
them objections to it
And it didnt He told me what it was and I see in a minute it was worth
fifteen of mine for style and would make Jim just as free a man as mine would
and maybe get us all killed besides So I was satisfied and said we would waltz
in on it I neednt tell what it was here because I knowed it wouldnt stay
the way it was I knowed he would be changing it around every which way as we
went along and heaving in new bullinesses wherever he got a chance And that is
what he done
Well one thing was dead sure and that was that Tom Sawyer was in earnest
and was actuly going to help steal that nigger out of slavery That was the
thing that was too many for me Here was a boy that was respectable and well
brung up and had a character to lose and folks at home that had characters
and he was bright and not leatherheaded and knowing and not ignorant and not
mean but kind and yet here he was without any more pride or rightness or
feeling than to stoop to this business and make himself a shame and his
family a shame before everybody I couldnt understand it no way at all It
was outrageous and I knowed I ought to just up and tell him so and so be his
true friend and let him quit the thing right where he was and save himself
And I did start to tell him but he shut me up and says
»Dont you reckon I know what Im about Dont I generly know what Im
about«
»Yes«
»Didnt I say I was going to help steal the nigger«
»Yes«
»Well then«
Thats all he said and thats all I said It warnt no use to say any more
because when he said hed do a thing he always done it But I couldnt make out
how he was willing to go into this thing so I just let it go and never
bothered no more about it If he was bound to have it so I couldnt help it
When we got home the house was all dark and still so we went on down to
the hut by the ashhopper for to examine it We went through the yard so as to
see what the hounds would do They knowed us and didnt make no more noise than
country dogs is always doing when anything comes by in the night When we got to
the cabin we took a look at the front and the two sides and on the side I
warnt acquainted with which was the north side we found a square
windowhole up tolerable high with just one stout board nailed across it I
says
»Heres the ticket This holes big enough for Jim to get through if we
wrench off the board«
Tom says
»Its as simple as tittattoe threeinarow and as easy as playing
hooky I should hope we can find a way thats a little more complicated than
that Huck Finn«
»Well then« I says »howll it do to saw him out the way I done before I
was murdered that time«
»Thats more like« he says »Its real mysterious and troublesome and
good« he says »but I bet we can find a way thats twice as long There aint
no hurry les keep on looking around«
Betwixt the hut and the fence on the back side was a leanto that joined
the hut at the eaves and was made out of plank It was as long as the hut but
narrow only about six foot wide The door to it was at the south end and was
padlocked Tom he went to the soap kettle and searched around and fetched back
the iron thing they lift the lid with so he took it and prized out one of the
staples The chain fell down and we opened the door and went in and shut it
and struck a match and see the shed was only built against the cabin and hadnt
no connection with it and there warnt no floor to the shed nor nothing in it
but some old rusty playedout hoes and spades and picks and a crippled plow
The match went out and so did we and shoved in the staple again and the door
was locked as good as ever Tom was joyful He says
»Now were all right Well dig him out Itll take about a week«
Then we started for the house and I went in the back door you only have
to pull a buckskin latchstring they dont fasten the doors but that warnt
romantical enough for Tom Sawyer no way would do him but he must climb up the
lightningrod But after he got up halfway about three times and missed fire
and fell every time and the last time most busted his brains out he thought
hed got to give it up but after he was rested he allowed he would give her
one more turn for luck and this time he made the trip
In the morning we was up at break of day and down to the nigger cabins to
pet the dogs and make friends with the nigger that fed Jim if it was Jim that
was being fed The niggers was just getting through breakfast and starting for
the fields and Jims nigger was piling up a tin pan with bread and meat and
things and whilst the others was leaving the key come from the house
This nigger had a goodnatured chuckleheaded face and his wool was all
tied up in little bunches with thread That was to keep witches off He said the
witches was pestering him awful these nights and making him see all kinds of
strange things and hear all kinds of strange words and noises and he didnt
believe he was ever witched so long before in his life He got so worked up
and got to running on so about his troubles he forgot all about what hed been
agoing to do So Tom says
»Whats the vittles for Going to feed the dogs«
The nigger kind of smiled around graduly over his face like when you heave
a brickbat in a mud puddle and he says
»Yes Mars Sid a dog Curus dog too Does you want to go en look at im«
»Yes«
I hunched Tom and whispers
»You going right here in the daybreak That warnt the plan«
»No it warnt but its the plan now«
So drat him we went along but I didnt like it much When we got in we
couldnt hardly see anything it was so dark but Jim was there sure enough
and could see us and he sings out
»Why Huck En good lan ain dat Misto Tom«
I just knowed how it would be I just expected it I didnt know nothing to
do and if I had I couldnt a done it because that nigger busted in and says
»Why de gracious sakes do he know you genlmen«
We could see pretty well now Tom he looked at the nigger steady and kind
of wondering and says
»Does who know us«
»Why dishyer runaway nigger«
»I dont reckon he does but what put that into your head«
»What put it dar Didn he jis dis minute sing out like he knowed you«
Tom says in a puzzledup kind of way
»Well thats mighty curious Who sung out When did he sing out What did
he sing out« And turns to me perfectly cam and says »Did you hear anybody
sing out«
Of course there warnt nothing to be said but the one thing so I says
»No I aint heard nobody say nothing«
Then he turns to Jim and looks him over like he never see him before and
says
»Did you sing out«
»No sah« says Jim »I haint said nothing sah«
»Not a word«
»No sah I haint said a word«
»Did you ever see us before«
»No sah not as I knows on«
So Tom turns to the nigger which was looking wild and distressed and says
kind of severe
»What do you reckons the matter with you anyway What made you think
somebody sung out«
»Oh its de dadblame witches sah en I wisht I was dead I do Deys
awluz at it sah en dey do mos kill me dey skyers me so Please to dont
tell nobody bout it sah er ole Mars Silas hell scole me kase he say dey
aint no witches I jis wish to goodness he was heah now den what would he
say I jis bet he couldn fine no way to git aroun it dis time But its awluz
jis so people dats sot stays sot dey wont look into nothn en fine it out
fr deyselves en when you fine it out en tell um bout it dey doan blieve
you«
Tom give him a dime and said we wouldnt tell nobody and told him to buy
some more thread to tie up his wool with and then looks at Jim and says
»I wonder if Uncle Silas is going to hang this nigger If I was to catch a
nigger that was ungrateful enough to run away I wouldnt give him up Id hang
him« And whilst the nigger stepped to the door to look at the dime and bite it
to see if it was good he whispers to Jim and says
»Dont ever let on to know us And if you hear any digging going on nights
its us were going to set you free«
Jim only had time to grab us by the hand and squeeze it then the nigger
come back and we said wed come again some time if the nigger wanted us to and
he said he would more particular if it was dark because the witches went for
him mostly in the dark and it was good to have folks around then
Chapter XXXV
It would be most an hour yet till breakfast so we left and struck down into
the woods because Tom said we got to have some light to see how to dig by and
a lantern makes too much and might get us into trouble what we must have was a
lot of them rotten chunks thats called foxfire and just makes a soft kind of a
glow when you lay them in a dark place We fetched an armful and hid it in the
weeds and set down to rest and Tom says kind of dissatisfied
»Blame it this whole thing is just as easy and awkard as it can be And so it
makes it so rotten difficult to get up a difficult plan There aint no watchman
to be drugged now there ought to be a watchman There aint even a dog to give
a sleepingmixture to And theres Jim chained by one leg with a tenfoot
chain to the leg of his bed why all you got to do is to lift up the bedstead
and slip off the chain And Uncle Silas he trusts everybody sends the key to
the punkinheaded nigger and dont send nobody to watch the nigger Jim could a
got out of that window hole before this only there wouldnt be no use trying to
travel with a tenfoot chain on his leg Why drat it Huck its the stupidest
arrangement I ever see You got to invent all the difficulties Well we cant
help it we got to do the best we can with the materials weve got Anyhow
theres one thing theres more honor in getting him out through a lot of
difficulties and dangers where there warnt one of them furnished to you by the
people who it was their duty to furnish them and you had to contrive them all
out of your own head Now look at just that one thing of the lantern When you
come down to the cold facts we simply got to let on that a lanterns resky
Why we could work with a torchlight procession if we wanted to I believe Now
whilst I think of it we got to hunt up something to make a saw out of the
first chance we get«
»What do we want of a saw«
»What do we want of it Haint we got to saw the leg of Jims bed off so as
to get the chain loose«
»Why you just said a body could lift up the bedstead and slip the chain
off«
»Well if that aint just like you Huck Finn You can get up the
infantschooliest ways of going at a thing Why haint you ever read any books
at all Baron Trenck nor Casanova nor Benvenuto Chelleeny nor Henri IV
nor none of them heroes Whoever heard of getting a prisoner loose in such an
oldmaidy way as that No the way all the best authorities does is to saw the
bedleg in two and leave it just so and swallow the sawdust so it cant be
found and put some dirt and grease around the sawed place so the very keenest
seneskal cant see no sign of its being sawed and thinks the bedleg is
perfectly sound Then the night youre ready fetch the leg a kick down she
goes slip off your chain and there you are Nothing to do but hitch your
ropeladder to the battlements shin down it break your leg in the moat
because a ropeladder is nineteen foot too short you know and theres your
horses and your trusty vassles and they scoop you up and fling you across a
saddle and away you go to your native Langudoc or Navarre or wherever it is
Its gaudy Huck I wish there was a moat to this cabin If we get time the
night of the escape well dig one«
I says
»What do we want of a moat when were going to snake him out from under the
cabin«
But he never heard me He had forgot me and everything else He had his chin
in his hand thinking Pretty soon he sighs and shakes his head then sighs
again and says
»No it wouldnt do there aint necessity enough for it«
»For what« I says
»Why to saw Jims leg off« he says
»Good land« I says »why there aint no necessity for it And what would
you want to saw his leg off for anyway«
»Well some of the best authorities has done it They couldnt get the chain
off so they just cut their hand off and shoved And a leg would be better
still But we got to let that go There aint necessity enough in this case and
besides Jims a nigger and wouldnt understand the reasons for it and how its
the custom in Europe so well let it go But theres one thing he can have a
ropeladder we can tear up our sheets and make him a ropeladder easy enough
And we can send it to him in a pie its mostly done that way And Ive et worse
pies«
»Why Tom Sawyer how you talk« I says »Jim aint got no use for a
ropeladder«
»He has got use for it How you talk you better say you dont know nothing
about it Hes got to have a rope ladder they all do«
»What in the nation can he do with it«
»Do with it He can hide it in his bed cant he Thats what they all do
and hes got to too Huck you dont ever seem to want to do anything thats
regular you want to be starting something fresh all the time Spose he dont do
nothing with it aint it there in his bed for a clew after hes gone and
dont you reckon theyll want clews Of course they will And you wouldnt leave
them any That would be a pretty howdydo wouldnt it I never heard of such a
thing«
»Well« I says »if its in the regulations and hes got to have it all
right let him have it because I dont wish to go back on no regulations but
theres one thing Tom Sawyer if we go to tearing up our sheets to make Jim a
ropeladder were going to get into trouble with Aunt Sally just as sure as
youre born Now the way I look at it a hickrybark ladder dont cost nothing
and dont waste nothing and is just as good to load up a pie with and hide in
a straw tick as any rag ladder you can start and as for Jim he aint had no
experience, and so he dont care what kind of a «
»Oh shucks Huck Finn if I was as ignorant as you Id keep still thats
what Id do Who ever heard of a state prisoner escaping by a hickrybark
ladder Why its perfectly ridiculous«
»Well all right Tom fix it your own way but if youll take my advice
youll let me borrow a sheet off of the clothesline«
He said that would do And that give him another idea and he says
»Borrow a shirt too«
»What do we want of a shirt Tom«
»Want it for Jim to keep a journal on«
»Journal your granny Jim cant write«
»Spose he cant write he can make marks on the shirt cant he if we make
him a pen out of an old pewter spoon or a piece of an old iron barrelhoop«
»Why Tom we can pull a feather out of a goose and make him a better one
and quicker too«
»Prisoners dont have geese running around the donjonkeep to pull pens out
of you muggins They always make their pens out of the hardest toughest
troublesomest piece of old brass candlestick or something like that they can get
their hands on and it takes them weeks and weeks and months and months to file
it out too because theyve got to do it by rubbing it on the wall They
wouldnt use a goosequill if they had it It aint regular«
»Well then whatll we make him the ink out of«
»Many makes it out of ironrust and tears but thats the common sort and
women the best authorities uses their own blood Jim can do that and when he
wants to send any little common ordinary mysterious message to let the world
know where hes captivated he can write it on the bottom of a tin plate with a
fork and throw it out of the window The Iron Mask always done that and its a
blame good way too«
»Jim aint got no tin plates They feed him in a pan«
»That aint anything we can get him some«
»Cant nobody read his plates«
»That aint got nothing to do with it Huck Finn All hes got to do is to
write on the plate and throw it out You dont have to be able to read it Why
half the time you cant read anything a prisoner writes on a tin plate or
anywhere else«
»Well then whats the sense in wasting the plates«
»Why blame it all it aint the prisoners plates«
»But its somebodys plates aint it«
»Well sposn it is What does the prisoner care whose «
He broke off there because we heard the breakfasthorn blowing So we
cleared out for the house
Along during that morning I borrowed a sheet and a white shirt off of the
clothesline and I found an old sack and put them in it and we went down and
got the foxfire and put that in too I called it borrowing because that was
what pap always called it but Tom said it warnt borrowing it was stealing He
said we was representing prisoners and prisoners dont care how they get a
thing so they get it and nobody dont blame them for it either It aint no
crime in a prisoner to steal the thing he needs to get away with Tom said its
his right and so as long as we was representing a prisoner we had a perfect
right to steal anything on this place we had the least use for to get ourselves
out of prison with He said if we warnt prisoners it would be a very different
thing and nobody but a mean ornery person would steal when he warnt a
prisoner So we allowed we would steal everything there was that come handy And
yet he made a mighty fuss one day after that when I stole a watermelon out of
the nigger patch and eat it and he made me go and give the niggers a dime
without telling them what it was for Tom said that what he meant was we could
steal anything we needed Well I says I needed the watermelon But he said I
didnt need it to get out of prison with theres where the difference was He
said if Id a wanted it to hide a knife in and smuggle it to Jim to kill the
seneskal with it would a been all right So I let it go at that though I
couldnt see no advantage in my representing a prisoner if I got to set down
and chaw over a lot of goldleaf distinctions like that every time I see a
chance to hog a watermelon
Well as I was saying we waited that morning till everybody was settled
down to business and nobody in sight around the yard then Tom he carried the
sack into the leanto whilst I stood off a piece to keep watch Byandby he
come out and we went and set down on the woodpile to talk He says
»Everythings all right now except tools and thats easy fixed«
»Tools« I says
»Yes«
»Tools for what«
»Why to dig with We aint agoing to gnaw him out are we«
»Aint them old crippled picks and things in there good enough to dig a
nigger out with« I says
He turns on me looking pitying enough to make a body cry and says
»Huck Finn did you ever hear of a prisoner having picks and shovels and
all the modern conveniences in his wardrobe to dig himself out with Now I want
to ask you if you got any reasonableness in you at all what kind of a show
would that give him to be a hero Why they might as well lend him the key and
done with it Picks and shovels why they wouldnt furnish em to a king«
»Well then« I says »if we dont want the picks and shovels what do we
want«
»A couple of caseknives«
»To dig the foundations out from under that cabin with«
»Yes«
»Confound it its foolish Tom«
»It dont make no difference how foolish it is its the right way and
its the regular way And there aint no other way that ever I heard of and
Ive read all the books that gives any information about these things They
always dig out with a caseknife and not through dirt mind you generly its
through solid rock And it takes them weeks and weeks and weeks and for ever
and ever Why look at one of them prisoners in the bottom dungeon of the Castle
Deef in the harbor of Marseilles that dug himself out that way how long was
he at it you reckon«
»I dont know«
»Well guess«
»I dont know A month and a half«
»Thirtyseven year and he come out in China Thats the kind I wish the
bottom of this fortress was solid rock«
»Jim dont know nobody in China«
»Whats that got to do with it Neither did that other fellow But youre
always awandering off on a side issue Why cant you stick to the main point«
»All right I dont care where he comes out so he comes out and Jim
dont either I reckon But theres one thing anyway Jims too old to be dug
out with a caseknife He wont last«
»Yes he will last too You dont reckon its going to take thirtyseven
years to dig out through a dirt foundation do you«
»How long will it take Tom«
»Well we cant resk being as long as we ought to because it maynt take
very long for Uncle Silas to hear from down there by New Orleans Hell hear Jim
aint from there Then his next move will be to advertise Jim or something like
that So we cant resk being as long digging him out as we ought to By rights I
reckon we ought to be a couple of years but we cant Things being so
uncertain what I recommend is this that we really dig right in as quick as we
can and after that we can let on to ourselves that we was at it thirtyseven
years Then we can snatch him out and rush him away the first time theres an
alarm Yes I reckon thatll be the best way«
»Now theres sense in that« I says »Letting on dont cost nothing
letting on aint no trouble and if its any object I dont mind letting on we
was at it a hundred and fifty year It wouldnt strain me none after I got my
hand in So Ill mosey along now and smouch a couple of caseknives« »Smouch
three« he says »we want one to make a saw out of«
»Tom if it aint unregular and irreligious to sejest it« I says »theres
an old rusty sawblade around yonder sticking under the weatherboarding behind
the smokehouse«
He looked kind of weary and discouragedlike and says
»It aint no use to try to learn you nothing Huck Run along and smouch the
knives three of them« So I done it
Chapter XXXVI
As soon as we reckoned everybody was asleep that night we went down the
lightningrod and shut ourselves up in the leanto and got out our pile of
foxfire and went to work We cleared everything out of the way about four or
five foot along the middle of the bottom log Tom said he was right behind Jims
bed now and wed dig in under it and when we got through there couldnt nobody
in the cabin ever know there was any hole there because Jims counterpin hung
down most to the ground and youd have to raise it up and look under to see the
hole So we dug and dug with the caseknives till most midnight and then we
was dogtired and our hands was blistered and yet you couldnt see wed done
anything hardly At last I says
»This aint no thirtyseven year job this is a thirtyeight year job Tom
Sawyer«
He never said nothing But he sighed and pretty soon he stopped digging
and then for a good little while I knowed he was thinking Then he says
»It aint no use Huck it aint agoing to work If we was prisoners it
would because then wed have as many years as we wanted and no hurry and we
wouldnt get but a few minutes to dig every day while they was changing
watches and so our hands wouldnt get blistered and we could keep it up right
along year in and year out and do it right and the way it ought to be done
But we cant fool along we got to rush we aint got no time to spare If we
was to put in another night this way wed have to knock off for a week to let
our hands get well couldnt touch a caseknife with them sooner«
»Well then what we going to do Tom«
»Ill tell you It aint right and it aint moral and I wouldnt like it
to get out but there aint only just the one way we got to dig him out with
the picks and let on its caseknives«
»Now youre talking« I says »your head gets leveler and leveler all the
time Tom Sawyer« I says »Picks is the thing moral or no moral and as for
me I dont care shucks for the morality of it nohow When I start in to steal
a nigger or a watermelon or a Sundayschool book I aint no ways particular
how its done so its done What I want is my nigger or what I want is my
watermelon or what I want is my Sundayschool book and if a picks the
handiest thing thats the thing Im agoing to dig that nigger or that
watermelon or that Sundayschool book out with and I dont give a dead rat what
the authorities thinks about it nuther«
»Well« he says »theres excuse for picks and lettingon in a case like
this if it warnt so I wouldnt approve of it nor I wouldnt stand by and see
the rules broke because right is right and wrong is wrong and a body aint
got no business doing wrong when he aint ignorant and knows better It might
answer for you to dig Jim out with a pick without any lettingon because you
dont know no better but it wouldnt for me because I do know better Gimme a
caseknife«
He had his own by him but I handed him mine He flung it down and says
»Gimme a caseknife«
I didnt know just what to do but then I thought I scratched around
amongst the old tools and got a pickax and give it to him and he took it and
went to work and never said a word
He was always just that particular Full of principle
So then I got a shovel and then we picked and shoveled turn about and
made the fur fly We stuck to it about a half an hour which was as long as we
could stand up but we had a good deal of a hole to show for it When I got up
stairs I looked out at the window and see Tom doing his level best with the
lightningrod but he couldnt come it his hands was so sore At last he says
»It aint no use it cant be done What you reckon I better do Cant you
think up no way«
»Yes« I says »but I reckon it aint regular Come up the stairs and let
on its a lightningrod«
So he done it
Next day Tom stole a pewter spoon and a brass candlestick in the house for
to make some pens for Jim out of and six tallow candles and I hung around the
nigger cabins and laid for a chance and stole three tin plates Tom said it
wasnt enough but I said nobody wouldnt ever see the plates that Jim throwed
out because theyd fall in the dogfennel and jimpson weeds under the
windowhole then we could tote them back and he could use them over again So
Tom was satisfied Then he says
»Now the thing to study out is how to get the things to Jim«
»Take them in through the hole« I says »when we get it done«
He only just looked scornful and said something about nobody ever heard of
such an idiotic idea and then he went to studying Byandby he said he had
ciphered out two or three ways but there warnt no need to decide on any of
them yet Said wed got to post Jim first
That night we went down the lightningrod a little after ten and took one
of the candles along and listened under the windowhole and heard Jim snoring
so we pitched it in and it didnt wake him Then we whirled in with the pick
and shovel and in about two hours and a half the job was done We crept in
under Jims bed and into the cabin and pawed around and found the candle and
lit it and stood over Jim a while and found him looking hearty and healthy
and then we woke him up gentle and gradual He was so glad to see us he most
cried and called us honey and all the pet names he could think of and was for
having us hunt up a cold chisel to cut the chain off of his leg with right
away and clearing out without losing any time But Tom he showed him how
unregular it would be and set down and told him all about our plans and how we
could alter them in a minute any time there was an alarm and not to be the
least afraid because we would see he got away sure So Jim he said it was all
right and we set there and talked over old times a while and then Tom asked a
lot of questions and when Jim told him Uncle Silas come in every day or two to
pray with him and Aunt Sally come in to see if he was comfortable and had
plenty to eat and both of them was kind as they could be Tom says
»Now I know how to fix it Well send you some things by them«
I said »Dont do nothing of the kind its one of the most jackass ideas I
ever struck« but he never paid no attention to me went right on It was his
way when hed got his plans set
So he told Jim how wed have to smuggle in the ropeladder pie and other
large things by Nat the nigger that fed him and he must be on the lookout
and not be surprised and not let Nat see him open them and we would put small
things in uncles coat pockets and he must steal them out and we would tie
things to aunts apron strings or put them in her apron pocket if we got a
chance and told him what they would be and what they was for And told him how
to keep a journal on the shirt with his blood and all that He told him
everything Jim he couldnt see no sense in the most of it but he allowed we
was white folks and knowed better than him so he was satisfied and said he
would do it all just as Tom said
Jim had plenty corncob pipes and tobacco so we had a right down good
sociable time then we crawled out through the hole and so home to bed with
hands that looked like theyd been chawed Tom was in high spirits He said it
was the best fun he ever had in his life and the most intellectural and said
if he only could see his way to it we would keep it up all the rest of our lives
and leave Jim to our children to get out for he believed Jim would come to like
it better and better the more he got used to it He said that in that way it
could be strung out to as much as eighty year and would be the best time on
record And he said it would make us all celebrated that had a hand in it
In the morning we went out to the woodpile and chopped up the brass
candlestick into handy sizes and Tom put them and the pewter spoon in his
pocket Then we went to the nigger cabins and while I got Nats notice off Tom
shoved a piece of candlestick into the middle of a cornpone that was in Jims
pan and we went along with Nat to see how it would work and it just worked
noble when Jim bit into it it most mashed all his teeth out and there warnt
ever anything could a worked better Tom said so himself Jim he never let on
but what it was only just a piece of rock or something like that thats always
getting into bread you know but after that he never bit into nothing but what
he jabbed his fork into it in three or four places first
And whilst we was a standing there in the dimmish light here comes a couple
of the hounds bulging in from under Jims bed and they kept on piling in till
there was eleven of them and there warnt hardly room in there to get your
breath By jings we forgot to fasten that leanto door The nigger Nat he only
just hollered »witches« once and keeled over onto the floor amongst the dogs
and begun to groan like he was dying Tom jerked the door open and flung out a
slab of Jims meat and the dogs went for it and in two seconds he was out
himself and back again and shut the door and I knowed hed fixed the other door
too Then he went to work on the nigger coaxing him and petting him and asking
him if hed been imagining he saw something again He raised up and blinked his
eyes around and says
»Mars Sid youll say Is a fool but if I didnt blieve I see most a
million dogs er devils er somen I wisht I may die right heah in dese tracks
I did mos sholy Mars Sid I felt um I felt um sah dey was all over me
Dad fetch it I jis wisht I could git my hans on one er dem witches jis wunst
ony jis wunst its all Id ast But mosly I wisht deyd lemme lone I
does«
Tom says
»Well I tell you what I think What makes them come here just at this
runaway niggers breakfasttime Its because theyre hungry thats the reason
You make them a witch pie thats the thing for you to do«
»But my lan Mars Sid hows I gwyne to make m a witch pie I doan know
how to make it I haint ever hearn er sich a thing bfo«
»Well then Ill have to make it myself«
»Will you do it honey will you Ill wusshup de groun und yo foot I
will«
»All right Ill do it seeing its you and youve been good to us and
showed us the runaway nigger But you got to be mighty careful When we come
around you turn your back and then whatever weve put in the pan dont you
let on you see it at all And dont you look when Jim unloads the pan
something might happen I dont know what And above all dont you handle the
witchthings«
»Hannel m Mars Sid What is you a talkin bout I wouldn lay de weight er
my finger on um not fr ten hundd thousn billion dollars I wouldnt«
Chapter XXXVII
That was all fixed So then we went away and went to the rubbagepile in the
back yard where they keep the old boots and rags and pieces of bottles and
woreout tin things and all such truck and scratched around and found an old
tin washpan and stopped up the holes as well as we could to bake the pie in
and took it down cellar and stole it full of flour and started for breakfast
and found a couple of shinglenails that Tom said would be handy for a prisoner
to scrabble his name and sorrows on the dungeon walls with and dropped one of
them in Aunt Sallys apron pocket which was hanging on a chair and tother we
stuck in the band of Uncle Silass hat which was on the bureau because we
heard the children say their pa and ma was going to the runaway niggers house
this morning and then went to breakfast and Tom dropped the pewter spoon in
Uncle Silass coat pocket and Aunt Sally wasnt come yet so we had to wait a
little while
And when she come she was hot and red and cross and couldnt hardly wait
for the blessing and then she went to sluicing out coffee with one hand and
cracking the handiest childs head with her thimble with the other and says
»Ive hunted high and Ive hunted low and it does beat all what has
become of your other shirt«
My heart fell down amongst my lungs and livers and things and a hard piece
of corncrust started down my throat after it and got met on the road with a
cough and was shot across the table and took one of the children in the eye and
curled him up like a fishingworm and let a cry out of him the size of a
warwhoop and Tom he turned kinder blue around the gills and it all amounted
to a considerable state of things for about a quarter of a minute or as much as
that and I would a sold out for half price if there was a bidder But after
that we was all right again it was the sudden surprise of it that knocked us
so kind of cold Uncle Silas he says
»Its most uncommon curious I cant understand it I know perfectly well I
took it off because «
»Because you haint got but one on Just listen at the man I know you took
it off and know it by a better way than your woolgethering memory too
because it was on the cloesline yesterday I see it there myself But its
gone thats the long and the short of it and youll just have to change to a
red flannl one till I can get time to make a new one And itll be the third
Ive made in two years it just keeps a body on the jump to keep you in shirts
and whatever you do manage to do with m all is moren I can make out A bodyd
think you would learn to take some sort of care of em at your time of life«
»I know it Sally and I do try all I can But it oughtnt to be altogether
my fault because you know I dont see them nor have nothing to do with them
except when theyre on me and I dont believe Ive ever lost one of them off of
me«
»Well it aint your fault if you havent Silas youd a done it if you
could I reckon And the shirt aint all thats gone nuther Thers a spoon
gone and that aint all There was ten and now thers only nine The calf got
the shirt I reckon but the calf never took the spoon thats certain«
»Why what else is gone Sally«
»Thers six candles gone thats what The rats could a got the candles
and I reckon they did I wonder they dont walk off with the whole place the
way youre always going to stop their holes and dont do it and if they warnt
fools theyd sleep in your hair Silas youd never find it out but you cant
lay the spoon on the rats and that I know«
»Well Sally Im in fault and I acknowledge it Ive been remiss but I
wont let tomorrow go by without stopping up them holes«
»Oh I wouldnt hurry next yearll do Matilda Angelina Araminta Phelps«
Whack comes the thimble and the child snatches her claws out of the
sugarbowl without fooling around any Just then the nigger woman steps onto
the passage and says
»Missus deys a sheet gone«
»A sheet gone Well for the lands sake«
»Ill stop up them holes today« says Uncle Silas looking sorrowful
»Oh do shet up spose the rats took the sheet Wheres it gone Lize«
»Clah to goodness I haint no notion Miss Sally She wuz on de closline
yistiddy but she done gone she ain dah no mo now«
»I reckon the world is coming to an end I never see the beat of it in all
my born days A shirt and a sheet and a spoon and six can «
»Missus« comes a young yaller wench »deys a brass cannelstick missn«
»Cler out from here you hussy er Ill take a skillet to ye«
Well she was just a biling I begun to lay for a chance I reckoned I would
sneak out and go for the woods till the weather moderated She kept a raging
right along running her insurrection all by herself and everybody else mighty
meek and quiet and at last Uncle Silas looking kind of foolish fishes up that
spoon out of his pocket She stopped with her mouth open and her hands up and
as for me I wished I was in Jeruslem or somewheres But not long because she
says
»Its just as I expected So you had it in your pocket all the time and
like as not youve got the other things there too Howd it get there«
»I reely dont know Sally« he says kind of apologizing »or you know I
would tell I was astudying over my text in Acts Seventeen before breakfast
and I reckon I put it in there not noticing meaning to put my Testament in
and it must be so because my Testament aint in but Ill go and see and if
the Testament is where I had it Ill know I didnt put it in and that will
show that I laid the Testament down and took up the spoon and «
»Oh for the lands sake Give a body a rest Go long now the whole kit
and biling of ye and dont come nigh me again till Ive got back my peace of
mind«
Id a heard her if shed a said it to herself let alone speaking it out
and Id a got up and obeyed her if Id a been dead As we was passing through
the settingroom the old man he took up his hat and the shinglenail fell out
on the floor and he just merely picked it up and laid it on the mantelshelf
and never said nothing and went out Tom see him do it and remembered about
the spoon and says
»Well it aint no use to send things by him no more he aint reliable«
Then he says »But he done us a good turn with the spoon anyway without
knowing it and so well go and do him one without him knowing it stop up his
ratholes«
There was a noble good lot of them down cellar and it took us a whole
hour but we done the job tight and good and shipshape Then we heard steps on
the stairs and blowed out our light and hid and here comes the old man with
a candle in one hand and a bundle of stuff in tother looking as absentminded
as year before last He went a mooning around first to one rathole and then
another till hed been to them all Then he stood about five minutes picking
tallowdrip off of his candle and thinking Then he turns off slow and dreamy
towards the stairs saying
»Well for the life of me I cant remember when I done it I could show her
now that I warnt to blame on account of the rats But never mind let it go I
reckon it wouldnt do no good«
And so he went on a mumbling up stairs and then we left He was a mighty
nice old man And always is
Tom was a good deal bothered about what to do for a spoon but he said wed
got to have it so he took a think When he had ciphered it out he told me how
we was to do then we went and waited around the spoonbasket till we see Aunt
Sally coming and then Tom went to counting the spoons and laying them out to
one side and I slid one of them up my sleeve and Tom says
»Why Aunt Sally there aint but nine spoons yet«
She says
»Go long to your play and dont bother me I know better I counted m
myself«
»Well Ive counted them twice Aunty and I cant make but nine«
She looked out of all patience but of course she come to count anybody
would
»I declare to gracious ther aint but nine« she says »Why what in the
world plague take the things Ill count m again«
So I slipped back the one I had and when she got done counting she says
»Hang the troublesome rubbage thers ten now« and she looked huffy and
bothered both But Tom says
»Why Aunty I dont think theres ten«
»You numskull didnt you see me count m«
»I know but «
»Well Ill count m again«
So I smouched one and they come out nine same as the other time Well she
was in a tearing way just a trembling all over she was so mad But she
counted and counted till she got that addled shed start to countin the basket
for a spoon sometimes and so three times they come out right and three times
they come out wrong Then she grabbed up the basket and slammed it across the
house and knocked the cat galleywest and she said cler out and let her have
some peace and if we come bothering around her again betwixt that and dinner
shed skin us So we had the odd spoon and dropped it in her apron pocket
whilst she was a giving us our sailingorders and Jim got it all right along
with her shinglenail before noon We was very well satisfied with this
business and Tom allowed it was worth twice the trouble it took because he
said now she couldnt ever count them spoons twice alike again to save her life
and wouldnt believe shed counted them right if she did and said that after
shed about counted her head off for the next three days he judged shed give
it up and offer to kill anybody that wanted her to ever count them any more
So we put the sheet back on the line that night and stole one out of her
closet and kept on putting it back and stealing it again for a couple of days
till she didnt know how many sheets she had any more and said she didnt
care and warnt agoing to bullyrag the rest of her soul out about it and
wouldnt count them again not to save her life she druther die first
So we was all right now as to the shirt and the sheet and the spoon and the
candles by the help of the calf and the rats and the mixedup counting and as
to the candlestick it warnt no consequence it would blow over byandby
But that pie was a job we had no end of trouble with that pie We fixed it
up away down in the woods and cooked it there and we got it done at last and
very satisfactory too but not all in one day and we had to use up three
washpans full of flour before we got through and we got burnt pretty much all
over in places and eyes put out with the smoke because you see we didnt
want nothing but a crust and we couldnt prop it up right and she would always
cave in But of course we thought of the right way at last which was to cook
the ladder too in the pie So then we laid in with Jim the second night and
tore up the sheet all in little strings and twisted them together and long
before daylight we had a lovely rope that you could a hung a person with We
let on it took nine months to make it
And in the forenoon we took it down to the woods but it wouldnt go in the
pie Being made of a whole sheet that way there was rope enough for forty
pies if wed a wanted them and plenty left over for soup or sausage or
anything you choose We could a had a whole dinner
But we didnt need it All we needed was just enough for the pie and so we
throwed the rest away We didnt cook none of the pies in the washpan afraid
the solder would melt but Uncle Silas he had a noble brass warmingpan which he
thought considerable of because it belonged to one of his ancesters with a long
wooden handle that come over from England with William the Conqueror in the
Mayflower or one of them early ships and was hid away up garret with a lot of
other old pots and things that was valuable not on account of being any account
because they warnt but on account of them being relicts you know and we
snaked her out private and took her down there but she failed on the first
pies because we didnt know how but she come up smiling on the last one We
took and lined her with dough and set her in the coals and loaded her up with
ragrope and put on a dough roof and shut down the lid and put hot embers on
top and stood off five foot with the long handle cool and comfortable and in
fifteen minutes she turned out a pie that was a satisfaction to look at But the
person that et it would want to fetch a couple of kags of toothpicks along for
if that ropeladder wouldnt cramp him down to business I dont know nothing
what Im talking about and lay him in enough stomachache to last him till next
time too
Nat didnt look when we put the witchpie in Jims pan and we put the
three tin plates in the bottom of the pan under the vittles and so Jim got
everything all right and as soon as he was by himself he busted into the pie
and hid the ropeladder inside of his straw tick and scratched some marks on a
tin plate and throwed it out of the windowhole
Chapter XXXVIII
Making them pens was a distressidtough job and so was the saw and Jim allowed
the inscription was going to be the toughest of all Thats the one which the
prisoner has to scrabble on the wall But we had to have it Tom said wed got
to there warnt no case of a state prisoner not scrabbling his inscription to
leave behind and his coat of arms
»Look at Lady Jane Grey« he says »look at Gilford Dudley look at old
Northumberland Why Huck spose it is considerble trouble what you going to
do how you going to get around it Jims got to do his inscription and coat
of arms They all do«
Jim says
»Why Mars Tom I haint got no coat o arms I haint got nuffn but
dishyer ole shirt en you knows I got to keep de journal on dat«
»Oh you dont understand Jim a coat of arms is very different«
»Well« I says »Jims right anyway when he says he haint got no coat of
arms because he haint«
»I reckon I knowed that« Tom says »but you bet hell have one before he
goes out of this because hes going out right and there aint going to be no
flaws in his record«
So whilst me and Jim filed away at the pens on a brickbat apiece Jim a
making hisn out of the brass and I making mine out of the spoon Tom set to
work to think out the coat of arms Byandby he said hed struck so many good
ones he didnt hardly know which to take but there was one which he reckoned
hed decide on He says
»On the scutcheon well have a bend or in the dexter base a saltire murrey
in the fess with a dog couchant for common charge and under his foot a chain
embattled for slavery with a chevron vert in a chief engrailed and three
invected lines on a field azure with the nombril points rampant on a dancette
indented crest a runaway nigger sable with his bundle over his shoulder on a
bar sinister and a couple of gules for supporters which is you and me motto
Maggiore fretta minore atto Got it out of a book means the more haste the
less speed«
»Geewhillikins« I says »but what does the rest of it mean«
»We aint got no time to bother over that« he says »we got to dig in like
all gitout«
»Well anyway« I says »whats some of it Whats a fess«
»A fess a fess is you dont need to know what a fess is Ill show him
how to make it when he gets to it«
»Shucks Tom« I says »I think you might tell a person Whats a bar
sinister«
»Oh I dont know But hes got to have it All the nobility does«
That was just his way If it didnt suit him to explain a thing to you he
wouldnt do it You might pump at him a week it wouldnt make no difference
Hed got all that coat of arms business fixed so now he started in to
finish up the rest of that part of the work which was to plan out a mournful
inscription said Jim got to have one like they all done He made up a lot
and wrote them out on a paper and read them off so
1 Here a captive heart busted
2 Here a poor prisoner forsook by the world and friends fretted out
his sorrowful life
3 Here a lonely heart broke and a worn spirit went to its rest after
thirtyseven years of solitary captivity
4 Here homeless and friendless after thirtyseven years of bitter
captivity perished a noble stranger natural son of Louis XIV
Toms voice trembled whilst he was reading them and he most broke down When
he got done he couldnt no way make up his mind which one for Jim to scrabble
onto the wall they was all so good but at last he allowed he would let him
scrabble them all on Jim said it would take him a year to scrabble such a lot
of truck onto the logs with a nail and he didnt know how to make letters
besides but Tom said he would block them out for him and then he wouldnt have
nothing to do but just follow the lines Then pretty soon he says
»Come to think the logs aint agoing to do they dont have log walls in a
dungeon we got to dig the inscriptions into a rock Well fetch a rock«
Jim said the rock was worse than the logs he said it would take him such a
pison long time to dig them into a rock he wouldnt ever get out But Tom said
he would let me help him do it Then he took a look to see how me and Jim was
getting along with the pens It was most pesky tedious hard work and slow and
didnt give my hands no show to get well of the sores and we didnt seem to
make no headway hardly So Tom says
»I know how to fix it We got to have a rock for the coat of arms and
mournful inscriptions and we can kill two birds with that same rock Theres a
gaudy big grindstone down at the mill and well smouch it and carve the things
on it and file out the pens and the saw on it too«
It warnt no slouch of an idea and it warnt no slouch of a grindstone
nuther but we allowed wed tackle it It warnt quite midnight yet so we
cleared out for the mill leaving Jim at work We smouched the grindstone and
set out to roll her home but it was a most nation tough job Sometimes do what
we could we couldnt keep her from falling over and she come mighty near
mashing us every time Tom said she was going to get one of us sure before we
got through We got her half way and then we was plumb played out and most
drownded with sweat We see it warnt no use we got to go and fetch Jim So he
raised up his bed and slid the chain off of the bedleg and wrapt it round and
round his neck and we crawled out through our hole and down there and Jim and
me laid into that grindstone and walked her along like nothing and Tom
superintended He could outsuperintend any boy I ever see He knowed how to do
everything
Our hole was pretty big but it warnt big enough to get the grindstone
through but Jim he took the pick and soon made it big enough Then Tom marked
out them things on it with the nail and set Jim to work on them with the nail
for a chisel and an iron bolt from the rubbage in the leanto for a hammer and
told him to work till the rest of his candle quit on him and then he could go
to bed and hide the grindstone under his straw tick and sleep on it Then we
helped him fix his chain back on the bedleg and was ready for bed ourselves
But Tom thought of something and says
»You got any spiders in here Jim«
»No sah thanks to goodness I haint Mars Tom«
»All right well get you some«
»But bless you honey I doan want none Is afeared un um I jis s soon
have rattlesnakes aroun«
Tom thought a minute or two and says
»Its a good idea And I reckon its been done It must a been done it
stands to reason Yes its a prime good idea Where could you keep it«
»Keep what Mars Tom«
»Why a rattlesnake«
»De goodness gracious alive Mars Tom Why if dey was a rattlesnake to come
in heah Id take en bust right out thoo dat log wall I would wid my head«
»Why Jim you wouldnt be afraid of it after a little You could tame it«
»Tame it«
»Yes easy enough Every animal is grateful for kindness and petting and
they wouldnt think of hurting a person that pets them Any book will tell you
that You try thats all I ask just try for two or three days Why you can
get him so in a little while that hell love you and sleep with you and
wont stay away from you a minute and will let you wrap him round your neck and
put his head in your mouth«
»Please Mars Tom doan talk so I cant stan it Hed let me shove his
head in my mouf fer a favor haint it I lay hed wait a powful long time
fo I ast him En mo en dat I doan want him to sleep wid me«
»Jim dont act so foolish A prisoners got to have some kind of a dumb
pet and if a rattlesnake haint ever been tried why theres more glory to be
gained in your being the first to ever try it than any other way you could ever
think of to save your life«
»Why Mars Tom I doan want no sich glory Snake take n bite Jims chin
off den whah is de glory No sah I doan want no sich doins«
»Blame it cant you try I only want you to try you neednt keep it up if
it dont work«
»But de trouble all done ef de snake bite me while Is a tryin him Mars
Tom Is willin to tackle mos anything at aint onreasonable but ef you en
Huck fetches a rattlesnake in heah for me to tame Is gwyne to leave dats
shore«
»Well then let it go let it go if youre so bullheaded about it We can
get you some gartersnakes and you can tie some buttons on their tails and let
on theyre rattlesnakes and I reckon thatll have to do«
»I kn stan dem Mars Tom but blame f I couldn get along widout um I
tell you dat I never knowed bfo t was so much bother and trouble to be a
prisoner«
»Well it always is when its done right You got any rats around here«
»No sah I haint seed none«
»Well well get you some rats«
»Why Mars Tom I doan want no rats Deys de dadblamedest creturs to
sturb a body en rustle roun over im en bite his feet when hes tryin to
sleep I ever see No sah gimme gyartersnakes f Is got to have m but
doan gimme no rats I ain got no use fr um skasely«
»But Jim you got to have em they all do So dont make no more fuss
about it Prisoners aint ever without rats There aint no instance of it And
they train them and pet them and learn them tricks and they get to be as
sociable as flies But you got to play music to them You got anything to play
music on«
»I ain got nuffn but a coase comb en a piece o paper en a juiceharp but
I reckn dey wouldn take no stock in a juiceharp«
»Yes they would They dont care what kind of music tis A jewsharps
plenty good enough for a rat All animals likes music in a prison they dote on
it Specially painful music and you cant get no other kind out of a
jewsharp It always interests them they come out to see whats the matter with
you Yes youre all right youre fixed very well You want to set on your bed
nights before you go to sleep and early in the mornings and play your
jewsharp play The Last Link is Broken thats the thing thatll scoop a rat
quickern anything else and when youve played about two minutes youll see
all the rats and the snakes and spiders and things begin to feel worried
about you and come And theyll just fairly swarm over you and have a noble
good time«
»Yes dey will I reckn Mars Tom but what kine er time is Jim havin
Blest if I kin see de pint But Ill do it ef I got to I reckn I better keep
de animals satisfied en not have no trouble in de house«
Tom waited to think over and see if there wasnt nothing else and pretty
soon he says
»Oh theres one thing I forgot Could you raise a flower here do you
reckon«
»I doan know but maybe I could Mars Tom but its tolable dark in heah en
I ain got no use fr no flower nohow en shed be a powful sight o trouble«
»Well you try it anyway Some other prisoners has done it«
»One er dem big cattaillookin mullenstalks would grow in heah Mars Tom
I reckn but she wouldnt be wuth half de trouble shed coss«
»Dont you believe it Well fetch you a little one and you plant it in the
corner over there and raise it And dont call it mullen call it Pitchiola
thats its right name when its in a prison And you want to water it with your
tears«
»Why I got plenty spring water Mars Tom«
»You dont want spring water you want to water it with your tears Its the
way they always do«
»Why Mars Tom I lay I kin raise one er dem mullenstalks twyste wid spring
water whiles another mans a startn one wid tears«
»That aint the idea You got to do it with tears«
»Shell die on my hans Mars Tom she sholy will kase I doan skasely ever
cry«
So Tom was stumped But he studied it over and then said Jim would have to
worry along the best he could with an onion He promised he would go to the
nigger cabins and drop one private in Jims coffeepot in the morning Jim
said he would »jis s soon have tobacker in his coffee« and found so much
fault with it and with the work and bother of raising the mullen and
jewsharping the rats and petting and flattering up the snakes and spiders and
things on top of all the other work he had to do on pens and inscriptions and
journals and things which made it more trouble and worry and responsibility to
be a prisoner than anything he ever undertook that Tom most lost all patience
with him and said he was just loadened down with more gaudier chances than a
prisoner ever had in the world to make a name for himself and yet he didnt
know enough to appreciate them and they was just about wasted on him So Jim he
was sorry and said he wouldnt behave so no more and then me and Tom shoved
for bed
Chapter XXXIX
In the morning we went up to the village and bought a wire rat trap and fetched
it down and unstopped the best rat hole and in about an hour we had fifteen of
the bulliest kind of ones and then we took it and put it in a safe place under
Aunt Sallys bed But while we was gone for spiders little Thomas Franklin
Benjamin Jefferson Elexander Phelps found it there and opened the door of it to
see if the rats would come out and they did and Aunt Sally she come in and
when we got back she was a standing on top of the bed raising Cain and the rats
was doing what they could to keep off the dull times for her So she took and
dusted us both with the hickry and we was as much as two hours catching another
fifteen or sixteen drat that meddlesome cub and they warnt the likeliest
nuther because the first haul was the pick of the flock I never see a likelier
lot of rats than what that first haul was
We got a splendid stock of sorted spiders and bugs and frogs and
caterpillars and one thing or another and we liketo got a hornets nest but
we didnt The family was at home We didnt give it right up but staid with
them as long as we could because we allowed wed tire them out or theyd got to
tire us out and they done it Then we got allycumpain and rubbed on the places
and was pretty near all right again but couldnt set down convenient And so we
went for the snakes and grabbed a couple of dozen garters and housesnakes and
put them in a bag and put it in our room and by that time it was supper time
and a rattling good honest days work and hungry oh no I reckon not And
there warnt a blessed snake up there when we went back we didnt half tie
the sack and they worked out somehow and left But it didnt matter much
because they was still on the premises somewheres So we judged we could get
some of them again No there warnt no real scarcity of snakes about the house
for a considerble spell Youd see them dripping from the rafters and places
every now and then and they generly landed in your plate or down the back of
your neck and most of the time where you didnt want them Well they was
handsome and striped and there warnt no harm in a million of them but that
never made no difference to Aunt Sally she despised snakes be the breed what
they might and she couldnt stand them no way you could fix it and every time
one of them flopped down on her it didnt make no difference what she was
doing she would just lay that work down and light out I never see such a
woman And you could hear her whoop to Jericho You couldnt get her to take
aholt of one of them with the tongs And if she turned over and found one in
bed she would scramble out and lift a howl that you would think the house was
afire She disturbed the old man so that he said he could most wish there
hadnt ever been no snakes created Why after every last snake had been gone
clear out of the house for as much as a week Aunt Sally warnt over it yet she
warnt near over it when she was setting thinking about something you could
touch her on the back of her neck with a feather and she would jump right out of
her stockings It was very curious But Tom said all women was just so He said
they was made that way for some reason or other
We got a licking every time one of our snakes come in her way and she
allowed these lickings warnt nothing to what she would do if we ever loaded up
the place again with them I didnt mind the lickings because they didnt
amount to nothing but I minded the trouble we had to lay in another lot But
we got them laid in and all the other things and you never see a cabin as
blithesome as Jims was when theyd all swarm out for music and go for him Jim
didnt like the spiders and the spiders didnt like Jim and so theyd lay for
him and make it mighty warm for him And he said that between the rats and the
snakes and the grindstone there warnt no room in bed for him skasely and
when there was a body couldnt sleep it was so lively and it was always
lively he said because they never all slept at one time but took turn about
so when the snakes was asleep the rats was on deck and when the rats turned in
the snakes come on watch so he always had one gang under him in his way and
tother gang having a circus over him and if he got up to hunt a new place the
spiders would take a chance at him as he crossed over He said if he ever got
out this time he wouldnt ever be a prisoner again not for a salary
Well by the end of three weeks everything was in pretty good shape The
shirt was sent in early in a pie and every time a rat bit Jim he would get up
and write a little in his journal whilst the ink was fresh the pens was made
the inscriptions and so on was all carved on the grindstone the bedleg was
sawed in two and we had et up the sawdust and it give us a most amazing
stomachache We reckoned we was all going to die but didnt It was the most
undigestible sawdust I ever see and Tom said the same But as I was saying
wed got all the work done now at last and we was all pretty much fagged out
too but mainly Jim The old man had wrote a couple of times to the plantation
below Orleans to come and get their runaway nigger but hadnt got no answer
because there warnt no such plantation so he allowed he would advertise Jim in
the St Louis and New Orleans papers and when he mentioned the St Louis ones
it give me the cold shivers and I see we hadnt no time to lose So Tom said
now for the nonnamous letters
»Whats them« I says
»Warnings to the people that something is up Sometimes its done one way
sometimes another But theres always somebody spying around that gives notice
to the governor of the castle When Louis XVI was going to light out of the
Tooleries a servant girl done it Its a very good way and so is the nonnamous
letters Well use them both And its usual for the prisoners mother to change
clothes with him and she stays in and he slides out in her clothes Well do
that too«
»But looky here Tom what do we want to warn anybody for that somethings
up Let them find it out for themselves its their lookout«
»Yes I know but you cant depend on them Its the way theyve acted from
the very start left us to do everything Theyre so confiding and
mulletheaded they dont take notice of nothing at all So if we dont give them
notice there wont be nobody nor nothing to interfere with us and so after all
our hard work and trouble this escape ll go off perfectly flat wont amount to
nothing wont be nothing to it«
»Well as for me Tom thats the way Id like«
»Shucks« he says and looked disgusted So I says
»But I aint going to make no complaint Anyway that suits you suits me
What you going to do about the servantgirl«
»Youll be her You slide in in the middle of the night and hook that
yaller girls frock«
»Why Tom thatll make trouble next morning because of course she probbly
haint got any but that one«
»I know but you dont want it but fifteen minutes to carry the nonnamous
letter and shove it under the front door«
»All right then Ill do it but I could carry it just as handy in my own
togs«
»You wouldnt look like a servantgirl then would you«
»No but there wont be nobody to see what I look like anyway«
»That aint got nothing to do with it The thing for us to do is just to do
our duty and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not Haint you
got no principle at all«
»All right I aint saying nothing Im the servantgirl Whos Jims
mother«
»Im his mother Ill hook a gown from Aunt Sally«
»Well then youll have to stay in the cabin when me and Jim leaves«
»Not much Ill stuff Jims clothes full of straw and lay it on his bed to
represent his mother in disguise and Jim ll take the nigger womans gown off
of me and wear it and well all evade together When a prisoner of style
escapes its called an evasion Its always called so when a king escapes
frinstance And the same with a kings son it dont make no difference whether
hes a natural one or an unnatural one«
So Tom he wrote the nonnamous letter and I smouched the yaller wenchs
frock that night and put it on and shoved it under the front door the way
Tom told me to It said
Beware Trouble is brewing Keep a sharp lookout
UNKNOWN FRIEND
Next night we stuck a picture which Tom drawed in blood of a skull and
crossbones on the front door and next night another one of a coffin on the
back door I never see a family in such a sweat They couldnt a been worse
scared if the place had a been full of ghosts laying for them behind everything
and under the beds and shivering through the air If a door banged Aunt Sally
she jumped and said »ouch« if anything fell she jumped and said »ouch« if
you happened to touch her when she warnt noticing she done the same she
couldnt face noway and be satisfied because she allowed there was something
behind her every time so she was always a whirling around sudden and saying
»ouch« and before shed get twothirds around shed whirl back again and say
it again and she was afraid to go to bed but she dasnt set up So the thing
was working very well Tom said he said he never see a thing work more
satisfactory He said it showed it was done right
So he said now for the grand bulge So the very next morning at the streak
of dawn we got another letter ready and was wondering what we better do with
it because we heard them say at supper they was going to have a nigger on watch
at both doors all night Tom he went down the lightningrod to spy around and
the nigger at the back door was asleep and he stuck it in the back of his neck
and come back This letter said
Dont betray me I wish to be your friend There is a desprate gang of
cutthroats from over in the Ingean Territory going to steal your runaway
nigger tonight and they have been trying to scare you so as you will
stay in the house and not bother them I am one of the gang but have
got religgion and wish to quit it and lead a honest life again and will
betray the helish design They will sneak down from northards along the
fence at midnight exact with a false key and go in the niggers cabin
to get him I am to be off a piece and blow a tin horn if I see any
danger but stead of that I will BA like a sheep soon as they get in
and not blow at all then whilst they are getting his chains loose you
slip there and lock them in and can kill them at your leasure Dont do
anything but just the way I am telling you if you do they will
suspicion something and raise whoopjamboreehoo I do not wish any
reward but to know I have done the right thing
UNKNOWN FRIEND
Chapter XL
We was feeling pretty good after breakfast and took my canoe and went over the
river a fishing with a lunch and had a good time and took a look at the raft
and found her all right and got home late to supper and found them in such a
sweat and worry they didnt know which end they was standing on and made us go
right off to bed the minute we was done supper and wouldnt tell us what the
trouble was and never let on a word about the new letter but didnt need to
because we knowed as much about it as anybody did and as soon as we was half up
stairs and her back was turned we slid for the cellar cubboard and loaded up a
good lunch and took it up to our room and went to bed and got up about
halfpast eleven and Tom put on Aunt Sallys dress that he stole and was going
to start with the lunch but says
»Wheres the butter«
»I laid out a hunk of it« I says »on a piece of a cornpone«
»Well you left it laid out then it aint here«
»We can get along without it« I says
»We can get along with it too« he says »just you slide down cellar and
fetch it And then mosey right down the lightningrod and come along Ill go
and stuff the straw into Jims clothes to represent his mother in disguise and
be ready to ba like a sheep and shove soon as you get there«
So out he went and down cellar went I The hunk of butter big as a
persons fist was where I had left it so I took up the slab of cornpone with
it on and blowed out my light and started up stairs very stealthy and got up
to the main floor all right but here comes Aunt Sally with a candle and I
clapped the truck in my hat and clapped my hat on my head and the next second
she see me and she says
»You been down cellar«
»Yesm«
»What you been doing down there«
»Nothn«
»Nothn«
»Nom«
»Well then what possessed you to go down there this time of night«
»I dont knowm«
»You dont know Dont answer me that way Tom I want to know what you been
doing down there«
»I haint been doing a single thing Aunt Sally I hope to gracious if I
have«
I reckoned shed let me go now and as a generl thing she would but I
spose there was so many strange things going on she was just in a sweat about
every little thing that warnt yardstick straight so she says very decided
»You just march into that settingroom and stay there till I come You been
up to something you no business to and I lay Ill find out what it is before
Im done with you«
So she went away as I opened the door and walked into the settingroom My
but there was a crowd there Fifteen farmers and every one of them had a gun I
was most powerful sick and slunk to a chair and set down They was setting
around some of them talking a little in a low voice and all of them fidgety
and uneasy but trying to look like they warnt but I knowed they was because
they was always taking off their hats and putting them on and scratching their
heads and changing their seats and fumbling with their buttons I warnt easy
myself but I didnt take my hat off all the same
I did wish Aunt Sally would come and get done with me and lick me if she
wanted to and let me get away and tell Tom how wed overdone this thing and
what a thundering hornets nest wed got ourselves into so we could stop
fooling around straight off and clear out with Jim before these rips got out
of patience and come for us
At last she come and begun to ask me questions but I couldnt answer them
straight I didnt know which end of me was up because these men was in such a
fidget now that some was wanting to start right now and lay for them
desperadoes and saying it warnt but a few minutes to midnight and others was
trying to get them to hold on and wait for the sheepsignal and here was aunty
pegging away at the questions and me a shaking all over and ready to sink down
in my tracks I was that scared and the place getting hotter and hotter and the
butter beginning to melt and run down my neck and behind my ears and pretty
soon when one of them says »Im for going and getting in the cabin first and
right now and catching them when they come« I most dropped and a streak of
butter come a trickling down my forehead and Aunt Sally she see it and turns
white as a sheet and says
»For the lands sake what is the matter with the child hes got the brain
fever as shore as youre born and theyre oozing out«
And everybody runs to see and she snatches off my hat and out comes the
bread and what was left of the butter and she grabbed me and hugged me and
says
»Oh what a turn you did give me and how glad and grateful I am it aint no
worse for lucks against us and it never rains but it pours and when I see
that truck I thought wed lost you for I knowed by the color and all it was
just like your brains would be if Dear dear whydnt you tell me that was
what youd been down there for I wouldnt a cared Now cler out to bed and
dont lemme see no more of you till morning«
I was up stairs in a second and down the lightningrod in another one and
shinning through the dark for the leanto I couldnt hardly get my words out I
was so anxious but I told Tom as quick as I could we must jump for it now
and not a minute to lose the house full of men yonder with guns
His eyes just blazed and he says
»No is that so Aint it bully Why Huck if it was to do over again I
bet I could fetch two hundred If we could put it off till «
»Hurry hurry« I says »Wheres Jim«
»Right at your elbow if you reach out your arm you can touch him Hes
dressed and everythings ready Now well slide out and give the sheepsignal«
But then we heard the tramp of men coming to the door and heard them begin
to fumble with the padlock and heard a man say
»I told you wed be too soon they havent come the door is locked Here
Ill lock some of you into the cabin and you lay for em in the dark and kill
em when they come and the rest scatter around a piece and listen if you can
hear em coming«
So in they come but couldnt see us in the dark and most trod on us whilst
we was hustling to get under the bed But we got under all right and out
through the hole swift but soft Jim first me next and Tom last which was
according to Toms orders Now we was in the leanto and heard trampings close
by outside So we crept to the door and Tom stopped us there and put his eye to
the crack but couldnt make out nothing it was so dark and whispered and said
he would listen for the steps to get further and when he nudged us Jim must
glide out first and him last So he set his ear to the crack and listened and
listened and listened and the steps a scraping around out there all the
time and at last he nudged us and we slid out and stooped down not
breathing and not making the least noise and slipped stealthy towards the
fence in Injun file and got to it all right and me and Jim over it but
Toms britches catched fast on a splinter on the top rail and then he hear the
steps coming so he had to pull loose which snapped the splinter and made a
noise and as he dropped in our tracks and started somebody sings out
»Whos that Answer or Ill shoot«
But we didnt answer we just unfurled our heels and shoved Then there was
a rush and a bang bang bang and the bullets fairly whizzed around us We
heard them sing out
»Here they are Theyve broke for the river after em boys And turn loose
the dogs«
So here they come full tilt We could hear them because they wore boots
and yelled but we didnt wear no boots and didnt yell We was in the path to
the mill and when they got pretty close onto us we dodged into the bush and
let them go by and then dropped in behind them Theyd had all the dogs shut
up so they wouldnt scare off the robbers but by this time somebody had let
them loose and here they come making powwow enough for a million but they
was our dogs so we stopped in our tracks till they catched up and when they
see it warnt nobody but us and no excitement to offer them they only just
said howdy and tore right ahead towards the shouting and clattering and then
we up steam again and whizzed along after them till we was nearly to the mill
and then struck up through the bush to where my canoe was tied and hopped in
and pulled for dear life towards the middle of the river but didnt make no
more noise than we was obleeged to Then we struck out easy and comfortable
for the island where my raft was and we could hear them yelling and barking at
each other all up and down the bank till we was so far away the sounds got dim
and died out And when we stepped onto the raft I says
»Now old Jim youre a free man again and I bet you wont ever be a slave
no more«
»En a mighty good job it wuz too Huck It uz planned beautiful en it uz
done beautiful en dey aint nobody kin git up a plan dats mo mixedup en
splendid den what dat one wuz«
We was all as glad as we could be but Tom was the gladdest of all because
he had a bullet in the calf of his leg
When me and Jim heard that we didnt feel so brash as what we did before
It was hurting him considerble and bleeding so we laid him in the wigwam and
tore up one of the dukes shirts for to bandage him but he says
»Gimme the rags I can do it myself Dont stop now dont fool around
here and the evasion booming along so handsome man the sweeps and set her
loose Boys we done it elegant deed we did I wish wed a had the handling
of Louis XVI there wouldnt a been no Son of Saint Louis ascend to heaven
wrote down in his biography no sir wed a whooped him over the border
thats what wed a done with him and done it just as slick as nothing at all
too Man the sweeps man the sweeps«
But me and Jim was consulting and thinking And after wed thought a
minute I says
»Say it Jim«
So he says
»Well den dis is de way it look to me Huck Ef it wuz him dat uz bein
sot free en one er de boys wuz to git shot would he say Go on en save me
nemmine bout a doctor fr to save dis one Is dat like Mars Tom Sawyer Would
he say dat You bet he wouldnt Well den is Jim gwyne to say it No sah I
doan budge a step outn dis place dout a doctor not if its forty year«
I knowed he was white inside and I reckoned hed say what he did say so
it was all right now and I told Tom I was agoing for a doctor He raised
considerble row about it but me and Jim stuck to it and wouldnt budge so he
was for crawling out and setting the raft loose himself but we wouldnt let
him Then he give us a piece of his mind but it didnt do no good
So when he see me getting the canoe ready he says
»Well then if youre bound to go Ill tell you the way to do when you
get to the village Shut the door and blindfold the doctor tight and fast and
make him swear to be silent as the grave and put a purse full of gold in his
hand and then take and lead him all around the back alleys and everywheres in
the dark and then fetch him here in the canoe in a roundabout way amongst the
islands and search him and take his chalk away from him and dont give it back
to him till you get him back to the village or else he will chalk this raft so
he can find it again Its the way they all do«
So I said I would and left and Jim was to hide in the woods when he see
the doctor coming till he was gone again
Chapter XLI
The doctor was an old man a very nice kindlooking old man when I got him up
I told him me and my brother was over on Spanish Island hunting yesterday
afternoon and camped on a piece of a raft we found and about midnight he must
a kicked his gun in his dreams for it went off and shot him in the leg and we
wanted him to go over there and fix it and not say nothing about it nor let
anybody know because we wanted to come home this evening and surprise the
folks
»Who is your folks« he says
»The Phelpses down yonder«
»Oh« he says And after a minute he says »Howd you say he got shot«
»He had a dream« I says »and it shot him«
»Singular dream« he says
So he lit up his lantern and got his saddlebags and we started But when
he see the canoe he didnt like the look of her said she was big enough for
one but didnt look pretty safe for two I says
»Oh you neednt be afeard sir she carried the three of us easy enough«
»What three«
»Why me and Sid and and and the guns thats what I mean«
»Oh« he says
But he put his foot on the gunnel and rocked her and shook his head and
said he reckoned hed look around for a bigger one But they was all locked and
chained so he took my canoe and said for me to wait till he come back or I
could hunt around further or maybe I better go down home and get them ready for
the surprise if I wanted to But I said I didnt so I told him just how to
find the raft and then he started
I struck an idea pretty soon I says to myself sposn he cant fix that
leg just in three shakes of a sheeps tail as the saying is sposn it takes
him three or four days What are we going to do lay around there till he lets
the cat out of the bag No sir I know what Ill do Ill wait and when he
comes back if he says hes got to go any more Ill get down there too if I
swim and well take and tie him and keep him and shove out down the river
and when Toms done with him well give him what its worth or all we got and
then let him get shore
So then I crept into a lumber pile to get some sleep and next time I waked
up the sun was away up over my head I shot out and went for the doctors house
but they told me hed gone away in the night some time or other and warnt
back yet Well thinks I that looks powerful bad for Tom and Ill dig out for
the island right off So away I shoved and turned the corner and nearly
rammed my head into Uncle Silass stomach He says
»Why Tom Where you been all this time you rascal«
»I haint been nowheres« I says »only just hunting for the runaway nigger
me and Sid«
»Why where ever did you go« he says »Your aunts been mighty uneasy«
»She neednt« I says »because we was all right We followed the men and
the dogs but they outrun us and we lost them but we thought we heard them on
the water so we got a canoe and took out after them and crossed over but
couldnt find nothing of them so we cruised along upshore till we got kind of
tired and beat out and tied up the canoe and went to sleep and never waked up
till about an hour ago then we paddled over here to hear the news and Sids at
the postoffice to see what he can hear and Im a branching out to get
something to eat for us and then were going home«
So then we went to the postoffice to get Sid but just as I suspicioned he
warnt there so the old man he got a letter out of the office and we waited a
while longer but Sid didnt come so the old man said come along let Sid foot
it home or canoeit when he got done fooling around but we would ride I
couldnt get him to let me stay and wait for Sid and he said there warnt no
use in it and I must come along and let Aunt Sally see we was all right
When we got home Aunt Sally was that glad to see me she laughed and cried
both and hugged me and give me one of them lickings of hern that dont amount
to shucks and said shed serve Sid the same when he come
And the place was plumb full of farmers and farmers wives to dinner and
such another clack a body never heard Old Mrs Hotchkiss was the worst her
tongue was agoing all the time She says
»Well Sister Phelps Ive ransacked thatair cabin over an I blieve the
nigger was crazy I says so to Sister Damrell didnt I Sister Damrell sI
hes crazy sI thems the very words I said You all hearn me hes crazy
sI everything shows it sI Look at thatair grindstone sI want to tell me
t any cretur ts in his right mind s agoin to scrabble all them crazy things
onto a grindstone sI Here sich n sich a person busted his heart n here
so n so pegged along for thirtyseven year n all that natcherl son o
Louis somebody n sich everlastn rubbage Hes plumb crazy sI its what I
says in the fust place its what I says in the middle n its what I says
last n all the time the niggers crazy crazy s Nebokoodneezer sI«
»An look at thatair ladder made outn rags Sister Hotchkiss« says old
Mrs Damrell »what in the name o goodness could he ever want of «
»The very words I was asayin no longer ago thn this minute to Sister
Utterback n shell tell you so herself Shshe look at thatair rag ladder
shshe n sI yes look at it sI what could he a wanted of it sI
Shshe Sister Hotchkiss shshe «
»But how in the nationd they ever git that grindstone in there anyway
n who dug thatair hole n who «
»My very words Brer Penrod I was asayin pass thatair sasser o
mlasses wont ye I was asayin to Sister Dunlap jist this minute how did
they git that grindstone in there sI Without help mind you thout help
Thars wher tis Dont tell me sI there wuz help sI n ther wuz a
plenty help too sI thers ben a dozen ahelpin that nigger n I lay Id
skin every last nigger on this place but Id find out who done it sI n
moreover sI «
»A dozen says you forty couldnt a done everything thats been done Look
at them caseknife saws and things how tedious theyve been made look at that
bedleg sawed off with m a weeks work for six men look at that nigger made
outn straw on the bed and look at «
»You may well say it Brer Hightower Its jist as I was asayin to Brer
Phelps his own self Se what do you think of it Sister Hotchkiss se think
o what Brer Phelps sI think o that bedleg sawed off that a way se
think of it sI I lay it never sawed itself off sI somebody sawed it sI
thats my opinion take it or leave it it maynt be no count sI but sich as
t is its my opinion sI n if anybody kn start a better one sI let him
do it sI thats all I says to Sister Dunlap sI «
»Why dog my cats they must a ben a housefull o niggers in there every
night for four weeks to a done all that work Sister Phelps Look at that shirt
every last inch of it kivered over with secret African writn done with blood
Must a ben a raft uv m at it right along all the time amost Why Id give
two dollars to have it read to me n as for the niggers that wrote it I low
Id take n lash m tll «
»People to help him Brother Marples Well I reckon youd think so if
youd a been in this house for a while back Why theyve stole everything they
could lay their hands on and we a watching all the time mind you They stole
that shirt right off o the line and as for that sheet they made the rag ladder
out of ther aint no telling how many times they didnt steal that and flour
and candles and candlesticks and spoons and the old warmingpan and most a
thousand things that I disremember now and my new calico dress and me and
Silas and my Sid and Tom on the constant watch day and night as I was a
telling you and not a one of us could catch hide nor hair nor sight nor sound
of them and here at the last minute lo and behold you they slides right in
under our noses and fools us and not only fools us but the Injun Territory
robbers too and actuly gets away with that nigger safe and sound and that
with sixteen men and twentytwo dogs right on their very heels at that very
time I tell you it just bangs anything I ever heard of Why sperits couldnt
a done better and been no smarter And I reckon they must a been sperits
because you know our dogs and ther aint no better well them dogs never
even got on the track of m once You explain that to me if you can any of
you«
»Well it does beat «
»Laws alive I never «
»So help me I wouldnt a be «
»Housethieves as well as «
»Goodnessgracioussakes Id a ben afeard to live in sich a «
»Fraid to live why I was that scared I dasnt hardly go to bed or get
up or lay down or set down Sister Ridgeway Why theyd steal the very why
goodness sakes you can guess what kind of a fluster I was in by the time
midnight come last night I hope to gracious if I warnt afraid theyd steal
some o the family I was just to that pass I didnt have no reasoning
faculties no more It looks foolish enough now in the daytime but I says to
myself theres my two poor boys asleep way up stairs in that lonesome room
and I declare to goodness I was that uneasy t I crep up there and locked em
in I did And anybody would Because you know when you get scared that way
and it keeps running on and getting worse and worse all the time and your
wits gets to addling and you get to doing all sorts o wild things and
byandby you think to yourself sposn I was a boy and was away up there and
the door aint locked and you « She stopped looking kind of wondering and
then she turned her head around slow and when her eye lit on me I got up and
took a walk
Says I to myself I can explain better how we come to not be in that room
this morning if I go out to one side and study over it a little So I done it
But I dasnt go fur or shed a sent for me And when it was late in the day
the people all went and then I come in and told her the noise and shooting
waked up me and Sid and the door was locked and we wanted to see the fun so
we went down the lightningrod and both of us got hurt a little and we didnt
never want to try that no more And then I went on and told her all what I told
Uncle Silas before and then she said shed forgive us and maybe it was all
right enough anyway and about what a body might expect of boys for all boys
was a pretty harumscarum lot as fur as she could see and so as long as no
harm hadnt come of it she judged she better put in her time being grateful we
was alive and well and she had us still stead of fretting over what was past
and done So then she kissed me and patted me on the head and dropped into a
kind of a brown study and pretty soon jumps up and says
»Why lawsamercy its most night and Sid not come yet What has become of
that boy«
I see my chance so I skips up and says
»Ill run right up to town and get him« I says
»No you wont« she says »Youll stay right wher you are ones enough to
be lost at a time If he aint here to supper your uncle ll go«
Well he warnt there to supper so right after supper uncle went
He come back about ten a little bit uneasy hadnt run across Toms track
Aunt Sally was a good deal uneasy but Uncle Silas he said there warnt no
occasion to be boys will be boys he said and youll see this one turn up in
the morning all sound and right So she had to be satisfied But she said shed
set up for him a while anyway and keep a light burning so he could see it
And then when I went up to bed she come up with me and fetched her candle
and tucked me in and mothered me so good I felt mean and like I couldnt look
her in the face and she set down on the bed and talked with me a long time and
said what a splendid boy Sid was and didnt seem to want to ever stop talking
about him and kept asking me every now and then if I reckoned he could a got
lost or hurt or maybe drownded and might be laying at this minute
somewheres suffering or dead and she not by him to help him and so the tears
would drip down silent and I would tell her that Sid was all right and would
be home in the morning sure and she would squeeze my hand or maybe kiss me
and tell me to say it again and keep on saying it because it done her good
and she was in so much trouble And when she was going away she looked down in
my eyes so steady and gentle and says
»The door aint going to be locked Tom and theres the window and the rod
but youll be good wont you And you wont go For my sake«
Laws knows I wanted to go bad enough to see about Tom and was all
intending to go but after that I wouldnt a went not for kingdoms
But she was on my mind and Tom was on my mind so I slept very restless
And twice I went down the rod away in the night and slipped around front and
see her setting there by her candle in the window with her eyes towards the road
and the tears in them and I wished I could do something for her but I
couldnt only to swear that I wouldnt never do nothing to grieve her any more
And the third time I waked up at dawn and slid down and she was there yet
and her candle was most out and her old gray head was resting on her hand and
she was asleep
Chapter XLII
The old man was up town again before breakfast but couldnt get no track of
Tom and both of them set at the table thinking and not saying nothing and
looking mournful and their coffee getting cold and not eating anything And
byandby the old man says
»Did I give you the letter«
»What letter«
»The one I got yesterday out of the postoffice«
»No you didnt give me no letter«
»Well I must a forgot it«
So he rummaged his pockets and then went off somewheres where he had laid
it down and fetched it and give it to her She says
»Why its from St Petersburg its from Sis«
I allowed another walk would do me good but I couldnt stir But before she
could break it open she dropped it and run for she see something And so did
I It was Tom Sawyer on a mattress and that old doctor and Jim in her calico
dress with his hands tied behind him and a lot of people I hid the letter
behind the first thing that come handy and rushed She flung herself at Tom
crying and says
»Oh hes dead hes dead I know hes dead«
And Tom he turned his head a little and muttered something or other which
showed he warnt in his right mind then she flung up her hands and says
»Hes alive thank God And thats enough« and she snatched a kiss of him
and flew for the house to get the bed ready and scattering orders right and
left at the niggers and everybody else as fast as her tongue could go every
jump of the way
I followed the men to see what they was going to do with Jim and the old
doctor and Uncle Silas followed after Tom into the house The men was very
huffy and some of them wanted to hang Jim for an example to all the other
niggers around there so they wouldnt be trying to run away like Jim done and
making such a raft of trouble and keeping a whole family scared most to death
for days and nights But the others said dont do it it wouldnt answer at
all he aint our nigger and his owner would turn up and make us pay for him
sure So that cooled them down a little because the people thats always the
most anxious for to hang a nigger that haint done just right is always the
very ones that aint the most anxious to pay for him when theyve got their
satisfaction out of him
They cussed Jim considerble though and give him a cuff or two side the
head once in a while but Jim never said nothing and he never let on to know
me and they took him to the same cabin and put his own clothes on him and
chained him again and not to no bedleg this time but to a big staple drove
into the bottom log and chained his hands too and both legs and said he
warnt to have nothing but bread and water to eat after this till his owner
come or he was sold at auction because he didnt come in a certain length of
time and filled up our hole and said a couple of farmers with guns must stand
watch around about the cabin every night and a bulldog tied to the door in the
daytime and about this time they was through with the job and was tapering off
with a kind of generl goodbye cussing and then the old doctor comes and takes
a look and says
»Dont be no rougher on him than youre obleeged to because he aint a bad
nigger When I got to where I found the boy I see I couldnt cut the bullet out
without some help and he warnt in no condition for me to leave to go and get
help and he got a little worse and a little worse and after a long time he
went out of his head and wouldnt let me come enigh him any more and said if
I chalked his raft hed kill me and no end of wild foolishness like that and I
see I couldnt do anything at all with him so I says I got to have help
somehow and the minute I says it out crawls this nigger from somewheres and
says hell help and he done it too and done it very well Of course I judged
he must be a runaway nigger and there I was and there I had to stick right
straight along all the rest of the day and all night It was a fix I tell you
I had a couple of patients with the chills and of course Id of liked to run up
to town and see them but I dasnt because the nigger might get away and then
Id be to blame and yet never a skiff come close enough for me to hail So
there I had to stick plumb till daylight this morning and I never see a nigger
that was a better nuss or faithfuller and yet he was resking his freedom to do
it and was all tired out too and I see plain enough hed been worked main
hard lately I liked the nigger for that I tell you gentlemen a nigger like
that is worth a thousand dollars and kind treatment too I had everything I
needed and the boy was doing as well there as he would a done at home better
maybe because it was so quiet but there I was with both of m on my hands
and there I had to stick till about dawn this morning then some men in a skiff
come by and as good luck would have it the nigger was setting by the pallet
with his head propped on his knees sound asleep so I motioned them in quiet
and they slipped up on him and grabbed him and tied him before he knowed what he
was about and we never had no trouble And the boy being in a kind of a flighty
sleep too we muffled the oars and hitched the raft on and towed her over very
nice and quiet and the nigger never made the least row nor said a word from
the start He aint no bad nigger gentlemen thats what I think about him«
Somebody says
»Well it sounds very good doctor Im obleeged to say«
Then the others softened up a little too and I was mighty thankful to that
old doctor for doing Jim that good turn and I was glad it was according to my
judgment of him too because I thought he had a good heart in him and was a
good man the first time I see him Then they all agreed that Jim had acted very
well and was deserving to have some notice took of it and reward So every one
of them promised right out and hearty that they wouldnt cuss him no more
Then they come out and locked him up I hoped they was going to say he could
have one or two of the chains took off because they was rotten heavy or could
have meat and greens with his bread and water but they didnt think of it and
I reckoned it warnt best for me to mix in but I judged Id get the doctors
yarn to Aunt Sally somehow or other as soon as Id got through the breakers
that was laying just ahead of me Explanations I mean of how I forgot to
mention about Sid being shot when I was telling how him and me put in that
dratted night paddling around hunting the runaway nigger
But I had plenty time Aunt Sally she stuck to the sickroom all day and all
night and every time I see Uncle Silas mooning around I dodged him
Next morning I heard Tom was a good deal better and they said Aunt Sally
was gone to get a nap So I slips to the sickroom and if I found him awake I
reckoned we could put up a yarn for the family that would wash But he was
sleeping and sleeping very peaceful too and pale not firefaced the way he
was when he come So I set down and laid for him to wake In about a half an
hour Aunt Sally comes gliding in and there I was up a stump again She
motioned me to be still and set down by me and begun to whisper and said we
could all be joyful now because all the symptoms was first rate and hed been
sleeping like that for ever so long and looking better and peacefuller all the
time and ten to one hed wake up in his right mind
So we set there watching and byandby he stirs a bit and opened his eyes
very natural and takes a look and says
»Hello why Im at home Hows that Wheres the raft«
»Its all right« I says
»And Jim«
»The same« I says but couldnt say it pretty brash But he never noticed
but says
»Good Splendid Now were all right and safe Did you tell Aunty«
I was going to say yes but she chipped in and says
»About what Sid«
»Why about the way the whole thing was done«
»What whole thing«
»Why the whole thing There aint but one how we set the runaway nigger
free me and Tom«
»Good land Set the run What is the child talking about Dear dear out
of his head again«
»No I aint out of my HEAD I know all what Im talking about We did set
him free me and Tom We laid out to do it and we done it And we done it
elegant too« Hed got a start and she never checked him up just set and
stared and stared and let him clip along and I see it warnt no use for me to
put in »Why Aunty it cost us a power of work weeks of it hours and hours
every night whilst you was all asleep And we had to steal candles and the
sheet and the shirt and your dress and spoons and tin plates and
caseknives and the warmingpan and the grindstone and flour and just no end
of things and you cant think what work it was to make the saws and pens and
inscriptions and one thing or another and you cant think half the fun it was
And we had to make up the pictures of coffins and things and nonnamous letters
from the robbers and get up and down the lightningrod and dig the hole into
the cabin and make the ropeladder and send it in cooked up in a pie and send
in spoons and things to work with in your apron pocket«
»Mercy sakes«
»and load up the cabin with rats and snakes and so on for company for
Jim and then you kept Tom here so long with the butter in his hat that you come
near spiling the whole business because the men come before we was out of the
cabin and we had to rush and they heard us and let drive at us and I got my
share and we dodged out of the path and let them go by and when the dogs come
they warnt interested in us, but went for the most noise and we got our canoe
and made for the raft and was all safe and Jim was a free man and we done it
all by ourselves and wasnt it bully Aunty«
»Well I never heard the likes of it in all my born days So it was you you
little rapscallions thats been making all this trouble and turned everybodys
wits clean inside out and scared us all most to death Ive as good a notion as
ever I had in my life to take it out o you this very minute To think here
Ive been night after night a you just get well once you young scamp and I
lay Ill tan the Old Harry out o both o ye«
But Tom he was so proud and joyful he just couldnt hold in and his
tongue just went it she achipping in and spitting fire all along and both
of them going it at once like a catconvention and she says
»Well you get all the enjoyment you can out of it now for mind I tell you
if I catch you meddling with him again «
»Meddling with who« Tom says dropping his smile and looking surprised
»With who Why the runaway nigger of course Whod you reckon«
Tom looks at me very grave and says
»Tom didnt you just tell me he was all right Hasnt he got away«
»Him« says Aunt Sally »the runaway nigger Deed he hasnt Theyve got him
back safe and sound and hes in that cabin again on bread and water and
loaded down with chains till hes claimed or sold«
Tom rose square up in bed with his eye hot and his nostrils opening and
shutting like gills and sings out to me
»They haint no right to shut him up Shove and dont you lose a minute
Turn him loose he aint no slave hes as free as any cretur that walks this
earth«
»What does the child mean«
»I mean every word I say Aunt Sally and if somebody dont go Ill go
Ive knowed him all his life and so has Tom there Old Miss Watson died two
months ago and she was ashamed she ever was going to sell him down the river
and said so and she set him free in her will«
»Then what on earth did you want to set him free for seeing he was already
free«
»Well that is a question I must say and just like women Why I wanted
the adventure of it and Id a waded neckdeep in blood to goodness alive
AUNT POLLY«
If she warnt standing right there just inside the door looking as sweet
and contented as an angel halffull of pie I wish I may never
Aunt Sally jumped for her and most hugged the head off of her and cried
over her and I found a good enough place for me under the bed for it was
getting pretty sultry for us seemed to me And I peeped out and in a little
while Toms Aunt Polly shook herself loose and stood there looking across at Tom
over her spectacles kind of grinding him into the earth you know And then
she says
»Yes you better turn yr head away I would if I was you Tom«
»Oh deary me« says Aunt Sally »is he changed so Why that aint Tom its
Sid Toms Toms why where is Tom He was here a minute ago«
»You mean wheres Huck Finn thats what you mean I reckon I haint raised
such a scamp as my Tom all these years not to know him when I see him That
would be a pretty howdydo Come out from under that bed Huck Finn«
So I done it But not feeling brash
Aunt Sally she was one of the mixedupest looking persons I ever see except
one and that was Uncle Silas when he come in and they told it all to him It
kind of made him drunk as you may say and he didnt know nothing at all the
rest of the day and preached a prayermeeting sermon that night that give him a
rattling reputation because the oldest man in the world couldnt a understood
it So Toms Aunt Polly she told all about who I was and what and I had to up
and tell how I was in such a tight place that when Mrs Phelps took me for Tom
Sawyer she chipped in and says »Oh go on and call me Aunt Sally Im used to
it now and taint no need to change« that when Aunt Sally took me for Tom
Sawyer I had to stand it there warnt no other way and I knowed he wouldnt
mind because it would be nuts for him being a mystery and hed make an
adventure out of it and be perfectly satisfied And so it turned out and he let
on to be Sid and made things as soft as he could for me
And his Aunt Polly she said Tom was right about old Miss Watson setting Jim
free in her will and so sure enough Tom Sawyer had gone and took all that
trouble and bother to set a free nigger free and I couldnt ever understand
before until that minute and that talk how he could help a body set a nigger
free with his bringingup
Well Aunt Polly she said that when Aunt Sally wrote to her that Tom and Sid
had come all right and safe she says to herself
»Look at that now I might have expected it letting him go off that way
without anybody to watch him So now I got to go and trapse all the way down the
river eleven hundred mile and find out what that creeturs up to this time
as long as I couldnt seem to get any answer out of you about it«
»Why I never heard nothing from you« says Aunt Sally
»Well I wonder Why I wrote to you twice to ask you what you could mean
by Sid being here«
»Well I never got em Sis«
Aunt Polly she turns around slow and severe and says
»You Tom«
»Well what« he says kind of pettish
»Dont you what me you impudent thing hand out them letters«
»What letters«
»Them letters I be bound if I have to take aholt of you Ill «
»Theyre in the trunk There now And theyre just the same as they was
when I got them out of the office I haint looked into them I haint touched
them But I knowed theyd make trouble and I thought if you warnt in no hurry
Id «
»Well you do need skinning there aint no mistake about it And I wrote
another one to tell you I was coming and I spose he «
»No it come yesterday I haint read it yet but its all right Ive got
that one«
I wanted to offer to bet two dollars she hadnt but I reckoned maybe it was
just as safe to not to So I never said nothing
Chapter the Last
The first time I catched Tom private I asked him what was his idea time of
the evasion what it was hed planned to do if the evasion worked all right
and he managed to set a nigger free that was already free before And he said
what he had planned in his head from the start if we got Jim out all safe was
for us to run him down the river on the raft and have adventures plumb to the
mouth of the river and then tell him about his being free and take him back up
home on a steamboat in style and pay him for his lost time and write word
ahead and get out all the niggers around and have them waltz him into town with
a torchlight procession and a brass band and then he would be a hero and so
would we But I reckened it was about as well the way it was
We had Jim out of the chains in no time and when Aunt Polly and Uncle Silas
and Aunt Sally found out how good he helped the doctor nurse Tom they made a
heap of fuss over him and fixed him up prime and give him all he wanted to
eat and a good time and nothing to do And we had him up to the sickroom and
had a high talk and Tom give Jim forty dollars for being prisoner for us so
patient and doing it up so good and Jim was pleased most to death and busted
out and says
»Dah now Huck what I tell you what I tell you up dah on Jackson
islan I tole you I got a hairy breas en whats de sign un it en I tole you
I ben rich wunst en gwineter to be rich agin en its come true en heah she
is Dah now doan talk to me signs is signs mine I tell you en I knowed
jis s well at I uz gwineter be rich agin as Is a stannin heah dis minute«
And then Tom he talked along and talked along and says les all three
slide out of here one of these nights and get an outfit and go for howling
adventures amongst the Injuns over in the Territory for a couple of weeks or
two and I says all right that suits me but I aint got no money for to buy
the outfit and I reckon I couldnt get none from home because its likely
paps been back before now and got it all away from Judge Thatcher and drunk it
up
»No he haint« Tom says »its all there yet six thousand dollars and
more and your pap haint ever been back since Hadnt when I come away
anyhow«
Jim says kind of solemn
»He aint a comin back no mo Huck«
I says
»Why Jim«
»Nemmine why Huck but he aint comin back no mo«
But I kept at him so at last he says
»Doan you member de house dat was floatn down de river en dey wuz a man
in dah kivered up en I went in en unkivered him and didn let you come in
Well den you kn git yo money when you wants it kase dat wuz him«
Toms most well now and got his bullet around his neck on a watchguard
for a watch and is always seeing what time it is and so there aint nothing
more to write about and I am rotten glad of it because if Id a knowed what a
trouble it was to make a book I wouldnt a tackled it and aint agoing to no
more But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest
because Aunt Sally shes going to adopt me and sivilize me and I cant stand it
I been there before
The End Yours Truly Huck Finn